[{"t": "What, do you think there's two lines and we're in it and you're the only genius that got in the other line?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm buying all the hot dogs", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "That's Pam, The Overly-Confident Morbidly Obese Woman", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "This fat suit smells like corn chips", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Apparently, you can't say he's got a vagina", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Well, I just spent 150 bucks on wieners", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Are there other black nerds, or is it just you and Urkel?", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Have you ever noticed when you eat a lot of cheese... How is that different from what I was doing?", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Where's Gary? Gary's dead.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm Jack Donaghy, new VP of Development for NBC-GE-Universal-Kmart", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "We own Kmart now? / No.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "5 inches, but it's thick", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "New York third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, overscheduled, undersexed", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "That is dead-on! What, are you gonna guess my weight now?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "The GE trivection oven cooks perfect food five times faster than a conventional oven because it uses three kinds of heat", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "With three kinds of heat, you can cook a turkey in 22 minutes", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm the new Vice President of east-coast television and microwave-oven programming.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You have the boldness of a much-younger woman", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "When I played that lady rapist on Law & Order, guess what the makeup guy put on under my eyes to take the puffiness out. Hemorrhoid cream.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Hi. Greta Johanssen... short for Lugreta.", "c": ["Greta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I used to have two cats. But then I moved to this place with hardwood floors, so we had to put them down. I'm joking.", "c": ["Cat Wrangler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You're missing that third kind of heat.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Okay, the black guy? / The black movie star.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I am a Jedi!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's not illegal to fall asleep on your neighbor's roof. / Nor should it be.", "c": ["Jack", "Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Sometimes, when I have these stress dreams, if I go to sleep in the dream, I come out of it. This is not a dream.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'This is not a dream.'", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm known for being reasonable.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Yeah, if I was president of the Philippines", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Did he just say the word 'pumpkin' to me?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm buggin'. I can't do this. I cannot eat here. I got to go someplace where they make food that I like.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Ooh, ooh, goodness gracious! You hooligans better watch out! 'Cause this honky grandma be trippin'!", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I had, like, four hot dogs this morning.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I had, like, four hot dogs this morning", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "That's racist. I'm not on crack. I'm straight-up mentally ill.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm not on crack. I'm straight-up mentally ill.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's for my face", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other, to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "That's a metaphor. / Sure.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Your teeth", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I don't have sex for a living. Neither do we. Neither do they. Yes, they do.", "c": ["Liz", "Stripper"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "He's got charisma. No, that's Charisma over there.", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I wish you were here.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Pete got fired this morning. That's so weird that you don't know that.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "From Chicago? / I was in Scottie Pippin's wedding.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I was in Scottie Pippin's wedding", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "No, you're not listening. You're not a good listener.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "This eye doesn't open all the way because when I was little, my sister peed in it", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Peanut's not an actor. I just rescued her from a lab", "c": ["Cat Wrangler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Me and two other dudes and a girl with messed-up fingers", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Are you peeing?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Don't buy all the hot dogs, okay?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "We're two minutes short!", "c": ["Production Staff"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "This honky grandma be trippin'!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I am the third heat!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I am the third heat!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You weigh 127 pounds. / Yeah.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You weigh 127 pounds", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You will be hearing from Peanut's lawyer", "c": ["Cat Wrangler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Hey, you will be hearing from Peanut's lawyer.", "c": ["Greta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I can't wait to do this with you every week.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You hear about that chemical factory explosion outside of Colorado Springs? No. Good.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "it's best to trlightly", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "That is what we in the show business like to call a 'cameo.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "'Cause you look good, like a solid gold candy bar!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "within his remunerative body of work", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Give up the butt, ladies. Give up the butt.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "He's an imbecile. Well, he's our imbecile now.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "I'm just surprised he's still got his shirt-- Oh, there it goes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Don't look at me! Do not look at me in the eyes. Do not look at Mr. Jordan!", "c": ["Tracy's entourage"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "You smoke weed, right, Pete? Uh... No. Yeah, me neither. Me and you, Pete. Me and you.", "c": ["Tracy", "Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Relax your balls, Pete.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Well if you ever want to piss off your parents, you come see me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Frank Rossitano has every copy of Black Tail magazine ever published.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "James Spurlock, but we call him Toofer, because with him you get a 'Two for One,' he's a black guy and a Harvard guy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Jerry from set design. Wally, cue cards. Rupert Murdoch. Melinda Gates. Ziggy from the cartoon Ziggy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "I got a character named Biscuit. Write that up. Got another character named Raylondo, who's a two-foot tall Spanish hustler.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Got another character named Ching Chong, who loves to play Ping Pong. I just made that up right now. 'Cause that's how I flow.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Do you know that he once got arrested for walking naked through LaGuardia? And that he once fell asleep on Ted Danson's roof?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "He bit Dakota Fanning on the face! When you hear his version, she was kind of asking for it.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Stop falling in love with gay guys?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Glaub mir. Diese 'Advantium Microwaves' sind die beste.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "The Girlie Show is now T.G.S. with Tracy Jordan?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "If you say you like it, you can have some pizza. You people like pizza?", "c": ["Focus group leader"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Then we could sit around and braid each other's hair until we get our periods at the same time.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Then I'll do what my father did when I was two. Lure you to the edge of the pool with a puppy, and push you in.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Freaky deakies need love too. Freaky deakies need love too.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Unh-unh. Superman does good. You're doing well. You need to study your grammar, son.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Wow. That was embarrassing for you.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "And I'm proud as a peacork, baby.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Right, Jenna Mulvaney? Maroney. Rhymes with Baloney.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "And I'm proud as a peacock. Right, Mabaloney?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Tracy Jordan. I'm black, NBC. Very proud, like peacocks. Right, Janet?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Tracy Jordan. I'm black, NBC. Very proud, like peacocks. Right, Janet? I think we got it.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Frank also loves that video of the monkey smelling his own butt.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Oh my God. I didn't use the N word, did I? Oh, no, no, no, Miss Maroney, you did not.", "c": ["Jenna", "Sound guy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "This is my office. Really? I see you bring a little feminine magic to everything you touch.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "No, he's not your employee, he's your product.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "I don't know. I'm a non-genius.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "A crowd once threw a motorcycle at me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "And Toofer's just afraid of black people. Which one is Toofer? The black guy. Oh.", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Son of a mother!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Paranoid? Well, that just confirms all my suspicions.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Nothing that plugs in, you guys! Nothing that could really hurt me!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Let's crash my car to see if the air-bags go off.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "I got a yacht. I got a solid gold jet-ski. Two Batmobiles. The AIDS monkey's bones...", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Miami, Tokyo, Denver.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Oh, that's Spanish for 'remember your mother.' No, I don't think it is.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Did you know that all the writers in that magazine are also conductors?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Grizz is driving the boat? Don't worry. He was in the Navy.", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "What's the deal with pudding? I'm Bill Cosby. Jell-o! Sweaters!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Like Batman and Robin. Like chicken and a chicken container.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Like chicken and a chicken container.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Por favor, no me dueles. Me llamo Mar\u00eda.", "c": ["Spanish woman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "It's Spanish for, 'Remember Your Mother.' I've taken this boat to Denver. You can have that scotch. Grizz was in the Navy!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Look how thin I look. And look how many emails I've gotten. It's not even 8:00 AM in L.A.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Aftermath"}, {"t": "Robot, kick him in the knees. Bears have weak knees. He should vibrate, 'cause the robot's full of radiation.", "c": ["TGS Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Save a little money for the rest of us. You can't spend a lot of money on bear suits that are only gonna be seen for 25 seconds.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You're trying to bring logic to the robot-bear sketch?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Who did my sudoku puzzle? I have been looking forward to this puzzle all morning.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I never have a free moment, Jack. Never, ever.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 4.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "How does your life improve? Do the hands have money in them?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I can tell from your stress level that you have not been touched in quite some time... Not caressed, not massaged, not even groped on the subway.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I would think that a single woman's biggest worry would be choking to death alone in her apartment.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Poker night? Who plays? Really, that's all you got out of that?", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I bluffed. Yes, I am coming.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, isn't Jack friends with Tom DeLay? Am I going on a date with Tom DeLay?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "But if it is Tom DeLay and you do go home with him, be prepared for it to get weird.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I used to play all kinds of poker with my aunts... Crazy 7, Albuquerque Freak-Out, One-Card Stud. Yeah, I don't think those are real games.", "c": ["Tracy", "Josh"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Whatever. Get ready to get took.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "No, I mean, if you were gonna go on a date with a woman, how would you want her to act? Like she was in a porn.", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I want you to go out on your lunch hour and find something... in a women's clothing store.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You look like a fancy prostitute.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "What up, Tra? This round, Texas Doozy. Face cards are wild, 3 is a jinx, 5s are 25.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Well, then you best go home and put on your daddy's shoes, boy. This is a man's game.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, my wedding ring. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My wife's gonna kill me!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Like, when Lutz here has a good hand, he stops eating.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Oh, really, is that what you think? Is that what I do? Am I doing that right now?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Kenneth, how long you been sitting there? I'm taking Pete's place, he's in the bathroom, laying in his own sick.", "c": ["Josh", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. He can't read Kenneth. He's a blank slate.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I think I have what they refer to as a royal flush.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Why would Jack just assume that we're lesbians? I am a lesbian.", "c": ["Liz", "Gretchen"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "He approaches everything the same way... Locate the problem, isolate the problem, set the problem up with a lesbian.", "c": ["Gretchen"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "That's a pretty good joke for somebody from plastics. Well, I wasn't always in plastics. I used to work in water-process technologies, working mainly in primary metals. Oh, so you have a comedy background?", "c": ["Liz", "Gretchen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Your shoes. Well, I'm straight. Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Did you know his middle name is Ellen? No, that's weird. Kenneth Ellen.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "She thought you looked like Jennifer Jason Leigh. Really, she said that? Yes, I made her repeat it. I was sure she meant Jason Lee.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Kenneth, it is diamonds.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You are a puzzle, Kenneth Ellen. And I'm going to solve you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Present-day Linda Ronstadt. No, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Tootsie.", "c": ["TGS Writers"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "It was a lady!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You'd die, and they wouldn't find you until your neighbour's dog smelled you from the hallway.", "c": ["Gretchen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Ever since I turned 30, every time I get in or out of the bathtub, I think in my head, 'Careful, careful.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Made out of shrimp and diving into a bowl of shrimp.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "So, hey, Dot Com, are we going to those three clubs tonight? You know, the doctor said I have four hearts in my body?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "All clovers. I win.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "We're just friends, like Oprah and Gayle. Why is that so hard for everybody to believe?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "The guy obsessed with Charlie Chaplin. Neil. The one who played Halo under the name Slut Banger. Dennis. The gangly, red-haired guy who played guitar all the time. Conan.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "What if I said to you, 'Go be with Frank now'? Ah, I would be honoured. Frank is a very tender, beautiful man.", "c": ["Liz", "Josh"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "He's awesome. You can't read his thoughts 'cause he doesn't have any.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Will you, little Kenneth Ellen Parcell from Stone Mountain, Georgia, growing up in your mama's tract house, dreaming of working on a TV show, dreaming of making it all the way to the NBC?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "But you'll always be a pig farmer's son, boy, 'cause I smell fried bologna all over you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I've got a 2, a 4, a 9, a 6, and a king. That means I win.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Why? Because I believe that life is for the living. I believe in taking risks and biting off more than you can chew. And, also, people were yelling, and I got confused about the rules.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "The Italians have a saying, Lemon. 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' And although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area, they are correct.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "In five years, we'll all either be working for him... or be dead by his hand.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "So, unless you're ready to make a big life change, I need to move on, find my Stedman. I thought I was Oprah in this metaphor. Also, you're gay, so that's a little confusing. You should say, like, 'my lady Stedman.'", "c": ["Gretchen", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "It's just, if I try to imagine us being together, I think, 'Yeah, OK, this could be fun.' You know, picking out furniture and making flowerbeds out of old railroad ties. But the thing is, if I'm gonna be with someone, it has to be a guy. You sound pretty sure about that. What can I say? I love a bald spot and a hairy back.", "c": ["Liz", "Gretchen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "What if we say that in, like, 25 years, if neither of us has someone, we'll move in together and be roommates? And even though I am not into the sex stuff, if it helps you, I would let you do stuff to me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "That's funny. That's what the guys always say.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I can see your wedding ring. Idiot.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "because Donald Trump was eaten by a lion this morning on the International Space Station", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Anyone listening?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Um, where are my shoes?", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "No, no, just go. Just go barefoot! Just leave you shoes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "And I got that 'Baby on Board' sign you wanted to help you get tail", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "'Cause I don't believe in one-way streets. Not between people and not while I'm driving.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Live every week like it's Shark Week", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Ahem! Oh, Mr. Donaghy!", "c": ["Liz", "Writers"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "And we all love the music of Chamillionaire", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, it's a special kind of G.I. Joe", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "To master just its basic concepts, one must brave a five-day conference at a Sheraton", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Honey Bunches of Sadness, Oat Bung, and Swaztik-o's", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Fruit Lupus. No. Dingleberries. Fart Nuggets.", "c": ["Jack", "Writers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "If you don't mind, I think we all really laughed at Fart Nuggets, so could we just move on, please", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "And I was wondering if we could do that. Do what? Dilbert.", "c": ["Jack", "Writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "You guys want coffee?", "c": ["Multiple speakers"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "And Brokaw says, 'Just go. Don't look back.' Now...I'm not a writer, but maybe there's a skit in that.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "You don't think his idea of starting with the catchphrases and working backwards is panning out? 'Nuts to you, McGullicuty.' 'Who ordered the wieners?' Beep beep! Ribby ribby!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Which one of your kids is it that you're afraid of? Kyle. Kyle. So strong.", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "You're inappropriate, you jerk, with your big stupid face!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Look at me. Look how bald I am. Look at my life. Please, just give me this one thing.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "From Yankee Stadium. Yes, sir!", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I don't actually. They kind of just stay up on their own. See?", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "No, but I don't actually want to work in television. Career-wise, I'm just gonna marry rich and then design handbags.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Oh, because you have, like, one of those body image things?", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Good, because I was gonna say you still have a good body.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Oh, for some reason, I thought you had, like, three kids. 'Cause sometimes you have, like, food stains on your shirt and stuff. I just assumed that it was kids.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Boy, we as a group might not smell great.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Beep beep! Ribby ribby!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "I was at a luncheon for Ann Coulter's 60th birthday.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Monkey Senate. We open on the Capitol--", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "You can't be in here anymore!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Dress every day like you're gonna get murdered in those clothes.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.61, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Would you agree when I say that a man's freedom only exists when he's free to pursue his desires? Which means when the law conflicts with our desires, then we must operate outside the law.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "I took your advice. I'm wearing a bra.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "But he sent you here to tell me to apologize. Exactly. I penciled you in for 3:00. This conversation never happened.", "c": ["Liz", "Jonathan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "When I get nervous, I ask a lot of questions. Do y'all have a bathroom I could use? Y'all have long fingernails. Now do y'all rent this space, or do you own it? Hey, that's a funny-looking fish. What is that, like a grapefruit knife?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "I always feel like I'm entering the Death Star. I expect to see Stormtroopers.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "No, Captain Needa dies. He dies!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Your eyes. You have those black shark's eyes. You know? Very intense.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Be a good listener, a giver of gifts, and work that va-jay-jay.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "I remember you mentioning what a big fan you are of the rapper Chamillionaire.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "'Cause I was dancing with Frank? Oh, yes, yeah. I love Chamillionaire.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "It's like that scene where you see the back of Darth Vader's head with his helmet off, and you're like, 'Oh! He's a human being!'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "I gotta get some new DVDs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "And you, stop encouraging her. You're an enabler. You need to dress like you have a job. And parents who raised you in some kind of shamed-based American religious tradition.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "And you're a size four, right? Well, aren't you sweet?", "c": ["Cerie", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "What are you wearing?! You're making me gay. It's a joke, obviously. I'm wearing this as a joke!", "c": ["Writers", "Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "We're driving male viewership, and we're effectively synergizing backward overflow.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Excuse me, do y'all just have noodles with butter?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "What group home did you escape from that you would dare talk to me like some plumber's wife in front of Ron Gordon and Bob Overmeyer?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Your ignorance was obvious when you waddled up to me with your thin-lipped mouth full of greasy peasant food and addressed me by my Christian name in front of the gentlemen from Fairfield.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "But how would you know that with your nigh-40 years of public education and daytime television viewing?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have you writing promos for Arena Football so fast it'll make your inexplicably small head spin.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Go easy on the pizza.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Jack the Writer"}, {"t": "Rehearsal? We did a show last week. I just came to pick up a paycheck.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Next Friday is Damon Dash's birthday party. And the Friday after that there's an orgy over at Elizabeth Hasselbeck's.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I'm an improviser. My acting style is like jazz. Jazz that you laugh at.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "It's a dance-pop techno hybrid called Muffin Top. I gave everybody copies at Christmas?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Oh...no.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Well, apparently it's a number-one hit in Israel.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "You should know that Muffin Top is also number four in Belgium.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "And I'm here to talk to you today about a wonderful new synergy. It's called 'product integration.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "positive mentions-- or PosMens--of GE products", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "For example, you could write an episode where one of your characters purchases-- and is satisfied with... one of GE's direct-current drilling motors for an offshore or land-based project.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. You're saying you want us to use the show to sell stuff?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Wow. This is diet Snapple? I know, it tastes just like regular Snapple, doesn't it? You should try Plum-A-Granate. It's amazing. I only date guys who drink Snapple.", "c": ["Writers", "Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Get real, kids. You write skits mocking our presidents to fill time between car commercials.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Josh gets a lot of fan mail for Gaybraham Lincoln.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Did you guys know that Holland is the only country with a national dog?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I'm starting to think... he can't read!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm Tracy Jordan. I'm black, NBC! Very proud, like peacocks, right, Janet?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "It says, 'Emergency exit only'. He couldn't read that?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "What's really sad is that while she's in this fragile state, none of her friends are messing with her head.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "My friend in accounting, Lando Calrissian, he says Jack's probably gonna have to fire an actor.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "It's like shooting fish in a barrel. Yeah, if the fish have daddy issues.", "c": ["Frank", "Toofer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Let's go rescue Karen or whatever. Is there a Cheryl? Then she could tell us where drugs are-- I mean gold-- Then we got the car chase. I'm getting way too old for this!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "We spend all this money in Iraq, but meanwhile, our inner-city graduation rates are lower than they are in the Sudan.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "That doesn't sound right. Maybe it was Sweden. Maybe it was teen pregnancy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I gotta read more.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Hippy humor. That's what I'm going for.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I'm watching Friends right now. What happens with Ross and Rachel? No, no. Don't tell me. Seriously. What were you saying?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "You're such a Monica! Ah ha! You are.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Uh, when has it not worked? It'll be a 45-minute wait. Oh, will it?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Yeah, so now you just have to make yourself ten years younger and Asian.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Can I read? Please don't get angry. It's not your fault. It's the system. Did you ever see Hoop Dreams? It's like that.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I can't read, Liz Lemon! My shameful secret is out. Now you know why I'm always running into the ladies' bathroom.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I sign my name with an X! I once tried to make mashed potatoes with laundry detergent!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I think I voted for Nader! Nader!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "All thanks to one very, very special white lady.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Damn, George Will just gets more and more conservative.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Jack in the GE promo video failing repeatedly", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Is it this? Or, if I may, this?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "It's called, 'racial integration'-- No, that's not right, is it? It's called, 'product intergort'-- 'intergortian'?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Ha! That was fun, you guys. Didn't feel like five days, did it?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I've summited Kilimanjaro. I've showered with Greta Van Susteren.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "...correlate overseas earnings report dynamics?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Actions speak louder than words. Take care of it. Don't worry, I'll have it on your desk first thing in the morning. Look, I am tired of your promises! I want this thing fixed.", "c": ["Jack", "Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I take it? Uh... I--I take it, uh, with the non-dairy creamer. Mmm. Yeah. Non-dairy creamer. Yum.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Those cards are a little confusing.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I think I can do it. No. You should definitely do it. It'll be hilarious. Oh, well, that'd be a refreshing change of pace for the show, wouldn't it?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "To get out of coming to work. Oh, so first you thought he was illiterate, and now you think he's lazy? Jeez, you are racist.", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "No. Tracy took advantage of my white guilt, which is to be used only for good, like over-tipping and supporting Barack Obama.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "You hear this mess about sometimes Y being a vowel? What a world.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I bow-hunt polar bear. I once drove a rental car into the Hudson just to practice escaping.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Ten years ago, I was an inch-and-a-half shorter than I am today. Sheer willpower.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Josh can do this, and earlier today, he ate a club sandwich with the toothpicks still in it. Jenna can do this, and she was once engaged to David Blaine.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "If you were any other woman on earth... I would be turned on right now.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "That guy's an extra on the show. No. He said he was Jack's boss. No. In the sketch. He doesn't even have a line.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "What is the point of belonging to the Extras Guild if I cannot get health coverage for my foot, hmm?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Do you have any left?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Where the hot lesbians at, Lemon? I knew it! You can read!", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I even have a column in Ebony called Musings!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "That's the subtle racism of lowered expectations. Bing Crosby said that. No, Bill Cosby said that. That's racist.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "I once shot a whole movie without ever getting out of my car? Yeah, I paid to see that. That was supposed to be a western.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "When Gaybraham Lincoln gets hit in the crotch, can I go cross-eyed? Oh, yes, do that. That's hilarious!", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Which of these is less offensive? Ahh! Ahh! Ahhh! Or... Ooh-hunh! Unh-hunh! Ohhh!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Lemon, these pages are blank.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "You figured out Frank and I lied to you, so to get even, you're trying to get me naked on the roof and leave me there.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "No, you're all fired.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Don't be cute, Lemon. You're too old for that.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Does she know we went off the air two minutes ago? No, she does not. Smart move.", "c": ["Pete", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Jack-Tor"}, {"t": "Maybe we'll see Natalie Morales, you know? That little firecracker, she gets my blood running south of the border.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Aw, you said 'Chinese' instead of something offensive.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Yes, I'm annoying, not the man who honked your boobs on the jumbo screen.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "That was before. And it was the playoffs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "The old Beeper King retired... Well, technically he shot himself.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "You sent a letter to Scott Peterson. After he dyed his hair and got super thin from all the stress.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Fast and only on Saturdays. It's perfect.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Oh...'Normal.' How dare they?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "It only looks like I'm walking out of a Starbucks when, actually, I'm doing the robot goin' backwards into a Starbucks.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "If I'm not a movie star, then I'm poor. And poor people can't afford to pay back the $75,000 in cash they owe Quincy Jones!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "What's a drive-in? Of course. I don't know why I bothered to ask.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "I can tell just from your physical appearance that you're obviously... 29.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Yeah, like if she walked in right now and said she wanted to do it with you, you would. I definitely would.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "When someone asks an actress how old she is, it's more statement than question.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "But she's old. She's like 38. I'm gonna be sick.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "What tragedy happened in your life that you insist upon punishing yourself with all this... mediocrity?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "you have a piece of lettuce stuck in your hair.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "He gave us the names of the most discreet private investigators to spy on our ex-wives.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "There appears to be a gentleman making passionate, angry, love to himself.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Am I wrong, or is he in the middle of a staff meeting?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I hope it's his daughter. Yeah, me too. Oh, my God! Oh! God, I hope it's his mistress.", "c": ["Liz", "Dennis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Hey, 007, how about some more rolls over here, huh?", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "I didn't know they served chicken nuggets at this restaurant. It's cod. It's, uh-- They made it special.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm allergic to all fish unless it's fried.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "You know there are 17 rats per person in Manhattan? You eat a pound of rat crap every year without even knowing it, huh?", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "I hope you enjoy the, uh, choices that you've made.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "And that former call girl went on to become one of NBC's biggest news anchors.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "[screaming] No!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "He fixed my toilet. He broke it first, but he fixed it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "I can't just go to Central Park and join the singles touch football league. Like I'd want to anyway. People in those posters, always laughing in their sweaters. Who are they foolin'?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Dennis is my boyfriend because he inquired. He was the only applicant, and I am not-- Doin' great.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Really? This water-- does someone boil it first, then throw it in your face?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "No, younger even. You look like a fetus.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "I just mentioned Dennis, and your eyebrows didn't go up. They didn't? No. How about now? Unh-uh. Anything?", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "If anyone sees a salamander, it's Liz's. No. I don't want a salamander!", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, for now. But the beeper's gonna be making a comeback. Technology's cyclical.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "it's when a bunch of rats are crammed into a tiny space, and their tails get all tangled up, and they can't even pull apart. And then it gets awesome. Eventually, their bodies fuse together and they form a multi-headed live rat king.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "[whispering] I love him.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Who normal now? You hear me, America? Who's normal now?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "And when you purchase Tracy Jordan, he comes with a tattoo of a biblical dragon from outer space.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Jenna looks like a porn star burn victim, and now this idiot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "I'm here to give you the gift... of pain. The gift of what? White diamonds! Ha ha!", "c": ["Liz Taylor impersonator"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "I'm here to give you the gift... of pain. The gift of what? White diamonds!", "c": ["Liz Taylor", "Josh"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "I'm married with two beautiful kids and a pool. (Jack) Liz, I wasn't trying to set you up. I wanted to show you my handiwork.", "c": ["Howard", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "I dressed poorly, had bad posture, walked around with lettuce in my hair. Oh, son of a bitch.", "c": ["Howard", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Now Howard's earning seven figures and he's married to a swell Filipino gal.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Are we still talking about the sandwich place? No, sadly, I don't think we are.", "c": ["Liz on phone", "Friend"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Are we still talking about the sandwich place? No, sadly, I don't think we are.", "c": ["Liz", "Phone conversation"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Dennis isn't a sandwich I want to eat every day for the rest of my life.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "because sadly, you may be the most stable person I know right now.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Because he wears shirts with the Looney Tunes embroidered on them. Because he cuts his own hair.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "That's right. He's the rat king.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "That's right. He's the rat king. And there's only one way to break up with a rat. You have to cut him off completely.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "You have to stuff your heart with steel wool and tinfoil. You must be ruthless. You must to be absolute. Remember always, you are The Exterminator.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Look, I'm crazy, not stupid. A movie star can't have a big old permanent face tattoo.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "I had extreme plastic surgery to have it removed. Ba-boom! That's another 'Not Normal.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Wayne Brady has three Emmys. You have a People's Choice Award that you stole from Wayne Brady.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "First of all, I'm not from Whiteville. I'm from White Haven, and it's not as nice as it sounds.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "[indistinctly] And I'm John Kerry.", "c": ["Unknown cast member"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "No wonder your career is being held back by a lack of foresight and an addiction to dysfunctional relationships.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "He knows about my marriage? No.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Yo, this blackout messed me up. I didn't get to debut my dragon face. Could I do the Today Show tomorrow?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Tattoo's fake, Donaghy. Fake. Street cred. He's a genius.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "There's no reason to live anymore. What happened? The Islanders lost tonight. Doesn't that happen a lot?", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "So how did it go? He moved in with me. Well, of course he did.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Jack Meets Dennis"}, {"t": "Why is there hair everywhere? Did you shave in the kitchen? The water in here is softer.", "c": ["Liz", "Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Look at this ski-jumping idiot, Bode Miller. What kind of a fruity name is Bode?", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 4.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "That cereal has the Olympics on it? It must be eight months old.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "When you and me have kids, we're gonna give them good names, like Shannon or Rick. When we what?", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Look at this maze. It's so easy. You have to go in here, and out there.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Oh, Dennis. I just did my hair. Oh, that's my girl.", "c": ["Liz", "Dennis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight. I can't take it anymore. Hmm, 35, single, no children. Three sexual partners in the last ten years. I don't know, doll. Maybe it's time to settle.", "c": ["Liz", "Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Hmm, 35, single, no children. Three sexual partners in the last ten years. I don't know, doll. Maybe it's time to settle.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Chocolate chip, or butter crunch?", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "No, that's not true. What about that movie you did last summer? \"The Rural Juror\"? Yeah, The Rur-- That one.", "c": ["Pete", "Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Rural Juror, apple three, take one. Mark! A terrible title. Action!", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "I will tell him that you are in a feature film called The Rrr Jrr.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "What the hell's her movie called? I don't know. She's been talking about it for a year. I can't ask her now.", "c": ["Frank", "Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "I am a stabbing robot. I will stab you. Oh, jeez. All right, no, okay.", "c": ["Tracy", "Conan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "You know, I used to be very rich. Handsome? Yes. You find me handsome? Yes, very much.", "c": ["Tracy", "Stylist"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "I know you're wearing that as a joke, but it makes you look younger, and more confident, and I think you should consider it.", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Because if I have a choice between an international movie star, and a woman who does commercials for ShopRite-- No, no, no. Jenna doesn't do those commercials anymore. She got fired.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "That's why my job is way better than yours. Way better.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "That's what they said about Hasselhoff, then he tried to make out with me during a commercial break.", "c": ["Conan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "You do a live Christmas Eve special from Kabul every year until the war on terror is won. Tell Tracy I'll see him tonight. You, black Irish bastard. Back at you, man.", "c": ["Jack", "Conan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Tell Tracy I'll see him tonight. You, black Irish bastard.", "c": ["Conan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Me and my wife like to play \"rape.\" She go in the bathroom and do her hair. Then I put on a ski mask... Okay, not that.", "c": ["Tracy", "Writers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "I like to walk around my house naked, to remind my oldest son who's still got the biggest ding dong.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "I can tell the story of how I met Sharon Stone. Oh, what was that? I was pooping in the ladies' room at the Ivy... No.", "c": ["Tracy", "Writers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "My hair hurts. Anybody gonna answer the phone? What phone? Is anybody gonna answer the phone? The phone! It's ringing! Ring! Ring!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Is anybody gonna answer the phone? The phone! It's ringing! Ring! Ring!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Lemon, this is not open mike night at the Bryn Mawr student union.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "For that kind of money this stuffed chicken breast better paint my house.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Jack Welch has such unparalleled management skills, they named Welch's grape juice after him. Because he squeezes the sweetest juice out of his workers' mind grapes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "That doesn't even make sense. No, it doesn't, does it? I wrote it down in the middle of the night.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Cookie in the middle of the day? I gave blood. Does that burn calories?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "I could talk about how the moon is a spy satellite put there by Oprah and minister Farrakhan. And not the minister Farrakhan you're thinking of.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Who's that dude? Uh, what dude? The blue dude. Tell him to stop staring at me.", "c": ["Tracy", "Writers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Meep.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Oh, that's not good. Frank, that was my blood cookie.", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Hey, Jack Attack. Sorry, I should have kept that one in the old brain box.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Pete, did you know that men with full heads of hair on average earn 17% more than their bald counterparts?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Perhaps it's because bald men are generally less informed than men with full heads of hair.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "I'm just kidding. It's real. I'm not like you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Well, you tell him that those commercials paid for my vacation home. So, unless he would like to buy me a condo in Clearwater, Florida...", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "I'm bugging out! I'm bugging out. I'm bugging out!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "This is Dr. Leo Spa-che-men.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "But what can you do? Medicine's not a science.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "There's not really a name for what Tracy has. Basically it's erratic tendencies, and delusions, brought on by excessive notoriety. And certainly not helped by my wildly experimental treatments.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "No, he should be fine, so long as you keep him away from bright lights, loud music and crowds.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Uh...do you need anything for yourself?", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "When I first met Jack Welch, I thought he was such a great golfer, he made Bob Darnell look like Randy Barnes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "'The Rrr Jrr.' The what?", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Leo's an excellent physician. And a pretty good dentist.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Who is this leader of men? What can I do for you, handsome?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "You're prettier than Deborah Messing. Please don't quit. Well, if that's the way you feel, I'll stay.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Call Ticketmaster right away. Nickleback just added another date, right? I would do it on your computer, but I'm downloading a game right now.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Blue man! That blue dude keeps following me! Meek, eep.", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Meek, eep.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "You still going out with that guy from the pager store? Who, Dennis? Yeah. You still, um... How's your wife? Let's not do this, Elizabeth.", "c": ["Conan", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Whoa, he licked all of those.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "No! Past Pete is here to kill Future Pete! It's going great.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Estate tax reform.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "It's after 6:00. What am I, a farmer?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "You're gonna tell me my feet stink? You don't even have feet. Blue man! Blue man, where your feet at?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Blue man, where your feet at?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Which...is okay, 'cause at least he didn't murder me.", "c": ["Conan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "So what did you want to talk to me about, huh? Nothing. I forget. I just want to listen to you play Halo 'til I fall asleep.", "c": ["Liz", "Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Well, I got started in the NBC page program. And before you know it, I'm making hit movies with my good friend, and roommate, Zach Braff.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "Well, I got started in the NBC page program. And before you know it, I'm making hit movies with my good friend, and roommate, Zach Braff.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Tracy Does Conan"}, {"t": "I'm gonna mount a TV on your wall. I just can't find a stud. So you made nine holes in my wall? No, those are for the shelves, dummy.", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "It's gonna be like a hospital.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "That's my cousin Teddy's Great Dane. I told him I'd watch him for a couple weeks. 'cause Teddy broke his ankle running from some black guys that pulled a gun on him.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "They weren't muggers. They were cops. So why don't you just say he was running from some cops? I don't know, I mean, you're a racist for assuming that they weren't cops.", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Ack, allergies are all mental.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Which is it: you love me or you got squatter's rights? I don't see why they're mutually exclusive!", "c": ["Liz", "Dennis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Hi. I got donuts. What's up, brown eyes? I made chili.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "I guess they were mostly food related.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "That thing licked my eyes this morning.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean like at a discotheque?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Allergies are all in the mind, Lemon. I use to have a wicked peanut allergy. And now, witness.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Are you dating Condoleeza Rice? I'm not at liberty to say.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, and it must be hard for her to get cell phone reception when she's so far up the president's butt.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "I'm choosing to ignore that remark on the basis that you are a godless, glassy-eyed Clintonista.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "this collection of ladies' unmentionables with snaps and openings all over the place", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Rodney, don't make me come over there and beat you in the head with one of my boom-booms!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Hunky Grandma Be Trippin' made $96 million.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Black Frasier? Niles, this Beaujolais is impeccable. It's both fruity and precocious. That's not the only thing around here that's fruity and precocious.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Every Thursday night at about 9:00 or 9:15.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Bernie Mac doesn't do it 'cause he'd be ugly as hell.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "I'll do it. I mean, my parents raised me as a girl for, like, ten years. What? I told you guys that.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "I know this great karaoke place where you can get a pedicure while you sing.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "When I'm right here, you need to be here. Not here. Here is embarrassing.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Whoopi Goldberg does it every day!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "I wanna hold a mirror up to society, and then win world record for biggest mirror.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "You and Jenna play Sleestaks from Land of the Lost and you're trying to get a small business loan. Because you want to open up a pancake house called Slee's Stacks.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Are you black?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Next time I see Putin, I'm gonna kick his teeth in.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Well, now you're just being patronizzle.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Standing there with your pants that fit. Using a wallet. Drinking Starbucks.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, I think they're from the firm of Date-Rape, Coke-ington Cheeseball, and Jag.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Oh, really, dude? I gotta move my coat? There's like four empty seats down there. Can't you just be cool?", "c": ["Bar guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "You could put a long, blonde wig on a ferret and it would like Jessica Simpson.", "c": ["Conspiracy guy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "You could put a long, blonde wig on a ferret and it would like Jessica Simpson.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "I learned the truth at seventeen. That love was meant for beauty queens. And high school girls with clear skin smiles. Who married young and then retired.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Mr. Jordan called me... the N-word. And? And I was really offended. Because... Because it's a racial slur.", "c": ["Toofer", "HR Person"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "You might as well spread me down with a fire hose.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Dear Liz Lemon, While other women have bigger boobs than you, no woman has as big a heart.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "I cried like a big dumb homo.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "But there's a new thing called 'women's liberation' which gives you women the right to choose, and you have chosen to abort me.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "you have chosen to abort me", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Hey. Threesome? How about it, huh? Mmm!", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "It's how I decided to get a scooter instead of a bike.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "It's like my cousin Teddy's dog. Sometimes he just doesn't wanna lick my feet. So what I do is, I hide my feet from him for a couple of days, and then when he sees them, he goes bananas.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Sometimes he just doesn't wanna lick my feet. So what I do is, I hide my feet from him for a couple of days, and then when he sees them, he goes bananas.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Queerburger. Faggotron. Gaybird. Uh, the word for black in any language, N\u00e9ro, noir, schwartz, negro, kam-an-sek.", "c": ["HR Trainer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Sneaky Taiwanese tranny who stole my watch.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "It's Dr. Martin Luther King, and he did not have a feeling, he had a dream.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Like professor Martin Luther King said, I have a feeling.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Uncle Tom, party of one.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "I know this might be emotional for you, so there's a meatball sub in the fridge.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Pro. Fixed TV.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm Star Jones. And welcome to the Star Jones Gastric Bypass Cooking Show. Now you know, I can only eat small portions. Oh, my goodness! Dessert.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Mark Foley's pajama party.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm all for fantasy role-play, but Abu-Ghraib?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "I'm all for fantasy role-play, but Abu-Ghraib?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Jack likes Dennis.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, uh, 22. I think. You wanna try again? Crap. That girl said she was 16, but I swear to God I could tell she was 22.", "c": ["Dennis", "Chris Hansen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "You can't break up with me. I already broke up with you! Fine! Then we agree to disagree!", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Break-Up"}, {"t": "Hey, this isn't gonna change the way you dress or eat lollipops, is it?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Area code 407? Oh, no.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Jonathan, these cheap phones keep on shattering!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Who let 407 through? Jonathan, we have drills for this!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Business doesn't get me down. Business gets me off.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Lemon, do you realize that your little show accounts for 3% of our revenue but takes up 90% of my time?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "We must get our freak on while our fruit is a-plentiful.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Liz Lemon! I like to wear man shirts. Watch me skateboard.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I don't skateboard.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Tracy, stop tasering him.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry, my babysitter got jury duty. I think I'm going to kill myself.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "He does this thing where he screams at limo drivers.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "But we both wanna have babies while it's still cool.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "If it's a girl, Bookcase. Or Sandstorm. Or maybe Hat. But that's more of a boy's name.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Like having a career. And working. And...having a job. And working.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "You only have a really short period where you can be a young, hot mom. If you wait too long, you could be like...50 at your kid's graduation.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "50's not that old, Cerie.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you 50 now?", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Because I enjoy his salad dressings and lemonade.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "What if my junk goes bad?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Wow, red wine is not your drink.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Like that hot dancer Madonna used to have Lourdes.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Go to hell.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Or being chained to a wall in someone's sex dungeon.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "But to that woman... I'm always gonna be the punk kid who cried when Pop was run over by a mail truck.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "No, Pop was my dog. My dad left when I was two... so I grew up calling my Collie Pop.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "My mother tried to send me to Vietnam to make a man out of me. I was 12.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Mama, you carried me for nine months. Let me carry you now.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "With a tea garden and fake rocks made of foam because she falls down a lot.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I'm also listed under meth addiction and child psychiatry.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I should start by saying that I can't personally help you conceive. Something happened to me while scuba diving.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "'Cause you haven't mentioned it in like three hours.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "But I do like to get yelled at during sex.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "No, I just told my wife I did.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I fake it.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I have a small ferret farm about 60 miles north of the city.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I can get cable if you want, 'cause I know how much you like the TV.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Sometimes I watch you watching it.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Oprah and Steadman are the same person.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "That's why he/she won't run for president.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "The Mars probe didn't brake. It was attacked by a Martian cougar.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "This is untoward. This is not toward!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "And then he's gonna fold us up in a pizza and eat us.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "But do you still want a sound hook-up so you can listen to rehearsal?", "c": ["Sound technician"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "You see, Josh's father's an assassin with the Russian mafia. They call him El Matador.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I'm sending you our new super top secret invisible motorcycle.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "For realses.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I keep pooping during sex.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Don't put little notes in their lunch bag that say, 'Mommy's watching you.' People find those things.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "This is a woman that actually had a heart attack to prevent me from going on my honeymoon.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "You carried me for nine months. Let me carry you now.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Well, right back at you, Colleen! Yeah, that's right! You cut Pop's balls off! And left him in the street to die!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Russian mobs, invisible motorcycles... Sex pooping.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "If in the future... In the future... If I mention anything crazy... Like an invisible motorcycle... It means I'm off my meds... and should be ignored.", "c": ["Josh (as Jack)"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I just wanted to sound smart.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Who's the cutest baby in the world?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I just bought the moon.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "And she will outlive you. She's like Castro.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Oh, right right. And you have someone else's baby in your car.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Well, Anna calls her Isobel, but I call her Nancy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. I'm a big fan of kidnapping. Especially by my middle management.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I was talking about you at work today, Mother. I think my boss, Mr. Jack Donaghy, wishes you were his mother.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "It's just like Charlie's Angels!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "I'm looking at the kooky skeleton right now. I love it! You're the best mother in the whole world!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Baby Show"}, {"t": "Phone conversation escalating from 'I need $60,000' to 'I need $100,000, or I'm gonna lose both my houses!'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Tracy escalates from needing $60,000 to $100,000 when asked 'which house?'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Tracy's money manager is Grizz, who lost everything in Worldcom", "c": ["Tracy", "Grizz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "You must know Arsenio. Hall or Billingham?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "For the first time in your life, you'll be in a room full of women and you'll be the least crazy one.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "The Rurr-Jurr has a limited release next week", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "You still don't know what the title is? No! No one does. It's gone on way too long to ask her about it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "I love that we can work while we're on cocaine!", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Could it be Roar Her, Gem Her? No, that doesn't make any sense. It's got to be Oral Germ Whore.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "What's up, flabby butt? You look weird today.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "You mean John Grisham. Oh, no. Kevin, John's brother.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Pete successfully says 'The Rural Juror' clearly", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Did you know that before Kevin was a novelist, he worked at a recycling center?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "It's called Urban Fervor. Boy, these titles-- They really make you think.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "'Urban Fervor' as sequel title", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "You remember that neighborhood festival where they killed a goat in the street? Yes! But we did have really good luck that year.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean Jesus? No-- Miguel from set design. He's over there.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Eurek-o!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Although, I guess it's no surprise that Tony Hawk can't play blind.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "The Rural Juror. The Rrr-- Rural. The Ruh-- Rural. Eh.", "c": ["Pete", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "You looked so beautiful. [awkward pause] The lighting was really neat.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Ethan and I both thought the programs were really easy to read.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Tired of your sandwich making you angry? Then behold the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Bologna, salami, boar-- Whatever! Into this sexy lady and she will melt them all together into one delicious food ball.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Never again will you have to suffer through the bread part of your sandwich.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Meat is the new bread! Uh-huh!", "c": ["All"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Whoopi Goldberg. And you're Working Out With Whoopi.", "c": ["Whoopi"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "GE owns KitchenAll of Colorado, which owns JMI of Stanford, which owns Pokerfastlane.com, which owns Sheinhardt Wig Company, which owns NBC outright. NBC owns Winnipeg Iron Works which owns Ahp Chanagi Party Meats corporation of Pyongyang, North Korea.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "The Rrr-Jrr", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Jenna plays a southern lawyer named Constance Justice.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Justice has been served. Good stuff.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "The soundtrack was so moody.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "[Flashback montage of Liz's fake compliments]", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Well, that's not how I remember any of that.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "It's only 90 minutes. It's kind of a train wreck.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "What were they? Oaks?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "I've always said humans need more animal blood. It keeps the spine straight.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Some reds, yellows... Just got some purples in from Peru.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "The Rrr Jrr is the true story of Rory Jerner, whose pure furor ensures a terrible murder--", "c": ["TV Voice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Her last two Google searches were for singles yoga and scalp pain.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "I had to let Tony watch me pee to get that tape.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "I think the entire sketch is a train wreck.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Teenmoviescene.com gave it five out of five iPods.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "[Liz accidentally hits someone in a costume] Oh, God, I'm sorry! I didn't know there was a person in there!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Pete, could you tell Jenna she smells like a stripper?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "I did not have sexual relations with that woman.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "I can barely keep a lid on the feud going on between Kenneth and Dougie from props.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Doctor Leo Spaceman. I'm a working physician with a degree from the Ho Chi Minh City School of Medicine.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "We have no way of knowing because the powerful bread lobby keeps stopping my research!", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Actually, we all kind of liked it. It's not the best thing in the world, but it's solid and Jenna's really good in it.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "I guess because I look weird, I can't be perceptive.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "I guess because I look weird, I can't be perceptive.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Cheese and crackers, that smarts!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "She doesn't even need those glasses.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Not the Ukraine. I own some property on the Dnieper River. In Volyn? Closer to Cherkasy.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "If it wasn't for me, you'd still be slutting it up for car dealership owners so they'd put you in their commercial.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "This slut slept with your brother! Mitch? Yeah, and let me tell you something about Mitch. He is disgusting in bed.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "You know he's not right. He was in a really bad skiing accident!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "She came at me with that angry little badger face of hers-- There it is right now.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "They've adapted The Rural Juror? I'm a huge Kevin Grisham fan.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "They did warn me those diet pills were mood altering.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "You have brown hair.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you couldn't have been serious about acting for a living. You have brown hair.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "This is boring. I'm bored now.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Goldberg or Billingham?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "Your father Werner was a burger server in suburban Santa Barbara... When he spurned your mother Verna for a curly-haired server named Roberta, did that hurt her?", "c": ["Voice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Rural Juror"}, {"t": "There are these two MSNBC guys we keep seeing around, and we don't know their names, so we call them the Head and the Hair.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "That's a Japanese pie watch. It tells time with those little pie pieces. Each piece is six minutes. So right now, it's six times four.", "c": ["Gray/The Head"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "5:30. That can't be right. My watch has these little hands that go around and point at numbers.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Hey, that's awesome, possum.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "A talk show without a host, just the voice of the dead lady from Desperate Housewives, or a reality show with a lot of super hot nannies who move into a house and help fat kids lose weight?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "This television programming stuff is just one unpredictable ass ache, and I want you to get it out of here.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "I'm going to be your bottom, Kenneth. And I want you to ride me as hard as you can.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "They had girls dancing in cages. And not the go-go cages, the little dog cages that you crate pit bulls in.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "That is awesome. - That is upsetting. - That is awesome.", "c": ["Frank", "Toofer", "Frank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "I left the party on a bacon run.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "January 17th. 2007? Yeah. Ah, dammit! I knew this was going to happen.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "My autobiography is due tomorrow.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "I think my snake is sick, so I need you to go out to my car and rub his belly 'til he poops.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "It's like having Confederate money. No one's going to take that.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "My friend Jenna and I didn't know your name, so we've been calling you the Hair.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "How would you like it if I called you Glasses?", "c": ["Gray"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "I would be fine with that. Oh, good, because that's what I've been calling you.", "c": ["Liz", "Gray"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "She was just sitting there in her house coat, holding one of her boobs like this.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "You knew when Sonny was coming over, 'cause she would take us to the store and buy two steaks and a bottle of Nair with cocoa butter.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "According to Wikipedia, you were discovered after doing stand-up at the Apollo in 1984. I have no memory of that. Write it up.", "c": ["Toofer", "Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Or get me a time machine so I can go back in time and smack your mom for smoking crack while she's pregnant.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Or maybe you really are the Hair and I'm the Head in our relationship.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Liz and Jenna, nothing.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "That way, by the time Mr. Williams gets back from the liquor store, it's nice and tidy.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Is this tube sock filled with bird seed?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Kenneth, this is not a job. This is an exercise in constant humiliation. You're fired.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "So... you guys been watching Heroes? I like the Japanese dude.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "The hors d'oeuvres tonight are boxes of pure oxygen infused with a saffron and a white truffle oil.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "I just want to go home and watch that show about midgets and eat a block of cheddar cheese.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "And if you're trying to harvest my organs and sell them, I have an uncle who's a cop, so don't even try it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Hey, we all have uncles who are cops, so just take it down a notch.", "c": ["Gray"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "See? It says right here: 'Legal tender for all debts public and private.' Does it say anything about $100 for a bottle of water?", "c": ["Liz", "Store clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "* Imagine Christmas wishes * Shooting out of your eyes * A candy cake * Full of snow dreams * A stocking full of smiles * It's a Jordan Christmas *", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Although I ate way too much oxygen.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Call in sick to work and go see a movie. A movie? A movie. With you. With me. Now. Right now.", "c": ["Gray", "Liz", "Gray", "Liz", "Gray", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Lemon, you're looking a little under the weather. Maybe you should go home.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Because they make television. And more than jazz, or musical theater, or morbid obesity, television is the true American art form.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "From Walter Cronkite denouncing Vietnam to Oprah pulling that trash bag of fat out in a wagon.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "From the glory and the pageantry of the Summer Olympics to the less fun Winter Olympics.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "I want to see a show where women get their hair done, while listening to salsa music.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "It's called Gold Case. It's Deal or No Deal meets Millionaire.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Hey, Moonvest, I got an idea for a game show last night. Give me your fingernails!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "As far as compensation goes, I would like to be officially the head of the pages, and I need a new clock radio.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Also I want five points on the back end, 20% gross on merchandizing, and a creator credit on this and any international editions. And a clock radio.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Also I want five points on the back end, 20% gross on merchandizing, and a creator credit on this and any international editions. And a clock radio.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Woke up in the camper at the auto show, and that's how 2006 ended.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "We do not want your book. Oops, my bad. That's on me. Shut it down.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "I don't really hang out with superfluously handsome gentlemen in kick-ass elevator lofts.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "I don't download music without paying for it. And I never wear flip-flops. Ever. It's gross.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "I do not sit on laps. Really? No, not a lap-sitter. Never have been.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Why do you have a picture of my great-aunt Dolly?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt were fifth cousins. Okay, on the count of three, say what level of cousins we would have to be for this to be okay. One, two, three. Fifth. Unacceptable, no matter what.", "c": ["Gray", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "You are a Hair, Liz Lemon. It's in our blood. Accept it. Embrace it.", "c": ["Gray"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Congratulations. You struck gold on Gold Case. Oh, gold's real heavy, isn't it?", "c": ["Host", "Contestant"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "This is pathetic. A joke. This whole show is a joke.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Head And The Hair"}, {"t": "Yo' mama is so stupid, she thinks an iMac is a new hamburger at McDonald's", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "When I drop a load in the washing machine, it doesn't follow me around for a week", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "That's what your sister asked me last night. Booyah!", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 3.63, "im": 4.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Prince Gerhardt is the last male descendant of the imperial house of Hapsburg. They ruled the Austro-Hungarian Empire, The Defenestration of Prague", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Theatre tech. I see.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "No. They're just really chapped.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "That's what your mom said to me last night. Booyah.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 2.98, "im": 3.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "[High-pitched voice] Elmo wants you to aim your pee-pee at the potty. No, not at Mommy. At the potty.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Did Mommy have some wine before she called Elmo?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Pete, there are two types of women in this world... one who gives you strength and one who takes strength from you, like Delilah took strength from Samson in that movie.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete. Where's your spinal cord, son?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "That's why eight times a week I go to the strip club. It gives me energy, which I bring back to her.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "You mean like a dog birthday party?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "No, Liz. Cinderella is blond. You can be Snow White and party with the little people.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Ow! That really hurt my hand! Dag! Who does that?!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "This is definitely a date. No. Is it?", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Lemon, I date socialites and models and actresses, Liz Hurley... in the '90s.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "You showed the security guy your boobs, didn't you? Just one. It's not the White House.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Austria. Yeah. That's what I said.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Prince Gerhardt Messerschmitt Rammstein Von Hap!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Who's Snow White now?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Most people in his situation would be angry with their family for the centuries of inbreeding, but not Gerhardt. He's too busy trying to stave off infection.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "And surprisingly age-appropriate.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "And unlike the rest of Jack's girlfriends, I have all my original parts.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "It was part of the Big Brother Little Sister program.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "She's much sharper than the last girl you had. What was her name? Beyonc\u00e9.", "c": ["Bianca"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "And unlike the rest of Jack's girlfriends, I have all my original parts.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "His highness is attempting to wink at you.", "c": ["Royal aide"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "I'm an actress, Liz. It would be my greatest role of all time.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "You're not even listening, are you? Poop. Monkey butt.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "He saved my life when we was in Desert Storm. Our tank broke down. He killed 14 Germans so we could get the hell out of there.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Sexually... she wanted it four or five times a day, always standing up. Standing up. What? How does that even work?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Sadly, because my body does not produce joint fluid, I cannot.", "c": ["Gerhardt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "But I would enjoy watching you dance for me.", "c": ["Gerhardt"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Jazz! Tap! Jitterbug! Charleston! Interpretive! Twirl! Twirl again! Keep twirling!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Everyone thinks I'm 5'5\", but I'm only 5'4\".", "c": ["Gerhardt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Do you remember the movie \"Footloose,\" where those evil kids won in the end?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Finally old enough to rent a car.", "c": ["Gerhardt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "I've never done it in a men's bathroom before. Well, in this building.", "c": ["Vikki"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Be a Samson! You're a better man than this. But she's so smooth.", "c": ["Tracy", "Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "My wife is not a Delilah, Tracy.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "She's so smooth.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Who's that tickling my feet? I'm gonna kick you in your face. I know that.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "A little late-in-life baby he can parade around Nantucket.", "c": ["Bianca"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "And that makes me want to sit on a knife.", "c": ["Bianca"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "[Both screaming]", "c": ["Liz", "Bianca"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "I know we have just met, but I think I love you. Do you love me? Mm... hmm.", "c": ["Gerhardt", "Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "I think you just lost an eyebrow.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Who let him drink champagne? He cannot metabolize the grapes!", "c": ["Royal aide"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "Meine Damen und Herren! The Hapsburg line... has ended.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "You can pick up your gift bags at the coat check.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "The Hapsburg line... has ended. You can pick up your gift bags at the coat check.", "c": ["Royal aide"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "When Gerhardt was born, the doctor told his mother and cousin he would either live for 15 minutes or for 100 years. Boy, he proved them all wrong.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "I'm 12 years younger than you. A woman your age, then.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "I had \"lunch\" with Martha Stewart and \"dinner\" with her daughter, Alexis. Gross.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Black Tie"}, {"t": "They're very expensive freshwater clams from the... Cuyahoga River.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "My whole staff has been blorching for three days", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "You make me want to vomit!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "one minute, you're newlyweds making love on the floor of the Concorde. Then the next, your lawyers are fighting over who gets to keep the box your dog defecates in.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "You taught your dog to poop in a box? Bianca did. But I want that box.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Are you angry or excited right now? I can't tell.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "This would work on 'Ugly Betty.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Me and Angie rented the penthouse at the Soho Grand, where we will drink wine and pleasure each other.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "When you've been married 17 years, you have to keep it spicy. That's why me and my wife role-play. She put on a girl scout outfit with a box of cookies, and I answer the door in my boxers.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Or I rent out a wheelchair, and she pretends to be my caseworker. And, in a way, she is.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I just took a whole bunch of Cialis, because I have big Valentine's plans tonight. With who? Uh, nobody.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "he's still insisting on having a Greek Orthodox wedding. But I really disagree with the church's stance on Cyprus.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I want all of your parents' love letters.", "c": ["Bianca"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Oh, damn it, Johnny! You know I love my Big Beef and Cheddar!", "c": ["Bianca"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Because it's Valentine's Day, and you know I don't... Oh, no. It's what? It's Valentine's Day. Again?", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Well, who cares, you know? It's just Valentine's Day. It's also her birthday.", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Did you just come from a Suzanne Somers look-alike contest?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Actually, I just came from performing at Vagina Day. Is that an offshoot of 'The Vagina Monologues'? No. We are in no way affiliated with 'The Vagina Monologues.'", "c": ["Jenna", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Vagina Day is a charity event founded by a group of celebrities who have, for whatever reason, never been asked to participate in 'The Vagina Monologues.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Every February 14th, we improvise monologues about our lady parts for the homeless. Oh, to benefit the homeless? No, just for them.", "c": ["Jenna", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "My vagina is a flower. A weird, ugly flower.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Marry, boff, kill? Beyonc\u00e9, Paula Abdul, and Oprah. Dude, that's beyond easy. Boff Beyonc\u00e9, kill Paula, marry Oprah.", "c": ["Frank", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Marry, boff, kill... Cerie, Liz, and Jenna. Once again, no-brainer. Marry Liz, get with Cerie, kill Jenna.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I can hear you!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "But thank you for saying that you would marry me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "No, I'm not with so many men that it's impossible for me to guess. Well, that is just... Oh. Oh, well, you know what? I found the card, actually. They're from your mom. Yeah. So tell your gay mom I said thanks.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "No, I'm not with so many men that it's impossible for me to guess.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Marriage is a competition. And after 18 years of overtime, I am finally going to claim victory.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Bone Osama bin Laden. To shame him. And then his own people would murder him.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I'd marry Toofer 'cause he's classy. I'd kill Lutz. Sorry, Lutz. The thought that you would do anything to me is awesome.", "c": ["Cerie", "Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "And I'd boff Kenneth. What?! Really?", "c": ["Cerie", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "'Cause you're a big phony. What? Everything about you is fake. Your tan's fake. Your hair is fake. Not the front.", "c": ["Frank", "Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "My vagina is a convenience store... clean and reliable and closed on Christmas.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I mean, if you met her, you might think she's wonderful. But, believe me, she is the succubus from the bowels of hell.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I wish I could touch her boobs again. She really had a fabulous pair of boobs.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I admit sometimes I would fantasize about her getting various terminal illnesses, and I would nurse her... to her death.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "what are you doing tonight?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "We have reports of a nitrogen leak on this floor. Oh, no, our room is fine. I mean, we don't smell it. Oh, it's odorless, sir.", "c": ["Tracy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I think it's coming... from my butt. Oh, no! I'm married!", "c": ["Tracy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Role-play, baby! Give it to me, baby!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Happy Valentimes!", "c": ["Dot Com"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "No. It gives me a headache. This is a Krug Clos du Mesnil, and I was saving it for a special occasion.", "c": ["Angie", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I clean this, too, or, uh, just the sex?", "c": ["Vlem"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "You tell G. E. light-bulb man, I want 'Sophie's Choice' out of my suite!", "c": ["Vlem"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "In fact, she's pretty sure I'm the reincarnated soul of Adrian Twyfer. He was our town minister who died in an organ fire.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "No, I think she's kind of like Dr Pepper.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "This is the second-worst Valentine's Day we ever had.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Marry, boff, kill... Bianca. Which do you want to do? All of them.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "You wear your thrift-store T-shirts and your big, weird glasses and everybody says, 'Oh, look at Frank. He's so cool. He has a hat that says Extra Cheese.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Okay, fine. I pooted. It's 3:00 in the morning. Are you happy?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "If I blew it, then how did I get her underpants?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I wouldn't be surprised if that 5-inch scar across my abdomen was suddenly gone.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I'm gonna shut it down, leave it vacant, open the windows, and let nature have at it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "You know, I've heard that, in Greece, they have to change Charlton Heston's name on movie posters to Charlton Easton because in Greek the word 'heston' means 'to poop yourself.'", "c": ["Unknown lawyer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "I prefer 'law stylist.'", "c": ["Unknown lawyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Happy Valentimes!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Up All Night"}, {"t": "Yo, is this about that little red-headed intern? 'Cause she asked me to take it out.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I'm not familiar with about half the words in that sentence.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Is that the gay guy from Project Runway?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "The dude from my checks?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Okay false alarm. It turns out she asked him to take it out.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I'll see you in CT, Jackie D.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Was Courtney Love not available?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "You might want to rephrase that.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I painted it myself.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "She always sounds so terrified. She's always, like, The President has a plan for Iran, and we are currently adhering to that plan.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I stayed up all night watching a Designing Women marathon.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "At first, I hated it. And then I liked it. And then I hated it again. And then I got horny, and then I fell asleep.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Ay, pero ay Dios mio!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I didn't like it two weeks ago when it was called America's Next Top Hobo, and I didn't like it a month ago, when it was called Hobo Eye for the Straight Guy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Deal or No Hobo?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Hey, Lutz, why don't you approach your job with the same creativity and excitement you have for all-you-can-eat buffets?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "We have a past. A romantic past.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Well, Grace, it's been a pleasure talking to you.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Oh, Kenneth, if you're worried about disgracing the National Broadcasting Company, you're too late.", "c": ["Grace"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Doggone it, Grace, I just don't know myself around you.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Like-- That won't be necessary. I'll probably just do it anyway.", "c": ["Golf club employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "They're very good at sensing debilitating loneliness in a person.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I'm allergic to anything warm and adorable.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Runt! What? This kitten, he's such a runt! I'm gonna name you Runty. You're such a little raging little runt!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "No, I don't want to get in it. I want to blow it up and run away from it in slow motion.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "The one the rhymes with the name of your favorite Todd Rundgren album.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "It rhymes with Hermit of Mink Hollow?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "There is no male equivalent to this word.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Like...monkus. Fungdark.", "c": ["Frank", "Toofer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Don't tell me to calm down you fungdark.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "It doesn't work.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Lutz has been totally slacking off since his grandma died.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I thought you knew and you were just being a... You know, that word Lutz called you.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Hey, look everybody Sherlock Homo is here to solve the case of the gay sweater.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I am. I'm a total... Runt! I lost my kitten. Has anyone seen my runt?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Tomorrow I'm gonna be in an intense six hour foursome with three other men. And one of them will be Don Geiss and he's gonna get all of my attention. And you're just gonna sit back and watch.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "You know the army's been messing with the sun. That's why I keep my junk covered. Once that stuff get in your hang, you're done.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "This guys spends so much time in the sand that his nickname should be Falu-ser.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Hey, how come you don't hire more black people around here?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "How come there's just me and Carlton over there?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I believe Tracy's referring to Carlton, the straight laced brother from Fresh Prince of Bel Air, 1990 through 1996. On NBC.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I'm supposed to just be a funny black man who says funny things.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Bartender, could you bring me a Mustang Melon and a bag of barbeque potato chips? 'Cause apparently I'm only here to be a stereotype.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Son, I wasn't joking about those chips.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "No, it's two dozen cupcakes with melted mini-candy bars in the middle.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I'm a nice person you bald, gangly...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I studied TV theory at Kentucky Mountain Bible College.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I'm ridiculous. I'm black! I may even be ugly. But dear God... I'm here! I'm here! And nothing but them can keep me from it!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "This isn't Hitler's bunker. That would make me Hitler.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Before you answer, superballs!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "God, it's like dating Katie Couric all over again.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Ted, who's best known for getting caught using a corporate credit card at a gay strip club.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Amanda, you were bound to find that out eventually.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "If I thought I left my coffeemaker on, I wouldn't be able to focus either. No, no, I get it. Everyone should see Mama Mia before it closes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, could I borrow 60 bucks? I'm going to meet Frank and Lutz at Scores.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "When my daughter Shahita was born, she had chubby arms and legs and a big bald head. She looked like my Uncle Rupert in a diaper.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "We stayed up all night the night before watching bible movies and eating Fiddle Faddle.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "She threw up right in the middle of the Jaguar dealership.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "I don't have a daughter.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "So to quote Mr. Jerry McGuire....you make me a complete person.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "When you said hello, you had me.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Sir, you may be right. I may be not capable of understanding normal thinking because I think a woman is just as powerful as a man. And until you learn to respect me, you better learn to stay out of my way. 'Cause this is my house.", "c": ["TV character"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Staying up all night re-writing The Amazing Hobo. You fat nerd.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "This is the men's room. Oh!", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Next weekend Tracy and I are gonna double team Don Geiss with our big ideas.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Because I'm not just feminine, I also can project my power.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "That's not cool.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "What is aux?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "Please don't make me move back to Alaska, Liz. I hate it there.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "And you will never alter drapes in Atlanta again. Because you do not cross a Sugarbaker woman!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "It's nonny time.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The C Word"}, {"t": "At first I was mad that Jessica Simpson was ahead of me. But then I saw the Dukes of Hazzard. Funny!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Actually, they use salad dressing, 'cause it gets a better sheen.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Ya burnt!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I'm laughin', I'm horny, let's do this!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Well, you look happy. Somebody just have a root beer float?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Can't do that. Make it 4:00 AM. / That's no good. / 10:00. / Stop insulting me. / 3:00 AM. / Midnight. / You bring the coffee. / 2:30, you bring the coffee. / That's my final. / Done.", "c": ["Jack", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Right, I think you mean mano a toddler.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "These sunglasses have a chip in them that makes the lenses change color as my iPod loses power.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "That's not how you play marbles, Jack. / But that's how you keep them.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Yo, remember that email we got from those Nigerians that needed our help gettin' all that money out of Africa? We did it! I got the check today.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Want to go to Vegas and buy a bunch of sarcophagi? / Nah. I don't even use the ones I have.", "c": ["Tracy", "Dotcom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Fatballz? / Studying hotel administration at Cornell. / Well, go ahead, Fatballz! That's a good program.", "c": ["Tracy", "Grizz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I love this cornbread so much I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "The sun'll come out Tomorrow... Fa la la la", "c": ["Kenneth", "Tracy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Where's Jack\u00e9e?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "'Cause I tried to mention Bono as much as possible.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "but it's just a bunch of gay guys that like to get in silly costumes and prance around.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "These Hollyweirdos from La La Land like Jenna Moron-ey are just un-American!", "c": ["TV Pundit"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "and their parent company the Sheinhardt Wig Corporation.", "c": ["TV Pundit"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Should I prepare a song?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Does my vulva look swollen? Come here.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Could I get free Choco Sticks?", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "We've got some serious troubs, my friend. We are not smiles-times.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "What your skedge ma\u00f1ana? 'Cause this is gonna be one serious negosh.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I love Halo so much, I wanna take it out behind a middle school and get it pregnant!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I like to keep things fresh so much, that I wanna take it out behind the middle school and get it pregnant.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "You could say that you support the troops, but you feel that the war was poorly planned and started under false pretenses. And that we should have used those resources to hunt down Osama Bin Laden.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Obama, what is he, Hispanic? / No, he's black. / And he's running for President? / Good luck.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "All right, let's skip the foreplay and get right to the penetraish.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I mean, Yaznach is coming up.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "One dollar.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "These photos I found of Josh roughhousing with Lance Bass at SeaWorld.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "My offer is now 75 cents.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Awse.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I knew you weren't ready for a big chair.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "You're marrying my mom, aren't you?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "If Kenneth can beat me, and you can beat Kenneth, then by the transitive property, you should beat me too!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "What is the world's only egg-laying mammal? / The Easter bunny! / Right again!", "c": ["Grizz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "You know, for someone who's super super hot, you're really cranky.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "why doesn't he hunt down and capture Barrack Obama before he strikes again?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Ya burnt!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I have written an op ed piece for the New York Times under Jenna's name in which I put the media on trial.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "He told me he was a pallbearer at his brother's wedding.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "what happened in your childhood to make you believe that people are good?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Also, that Oscar you have is made of chocolate. And that lady you European kissed last night was actually a gentleman...", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Josh? You stupid turd.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "You were opening for a puppet when I found you.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "what kind of moron calls out sick and then comes to work to have a meeting? / I get an NBC discount here.", "c": ["Liz", "Josh"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Well, he wanted Dwayne Jr.'s number, so I gave it to him. / You did what? / Damn it, K, now I have to hear from Tanisha's mom on how they both mad at the twins.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Television on! / Pornography!", "c": ["Tracy", "TV"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I called my friend Saul Sheinhardt at our parent company Sheinhardt Wigs who called his nephew Morty Sheinhardt who called his son, John Stewart.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Ya burnt!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I have a really bad sex addiction.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Do the worm! / Good Lord, the worm! That's so degrading. Are its origins German?", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Okay, the pinwheels are lit, but they're not spinning. When they're not spinning, they look exactly like... Swastikas.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I love you so much, I'm gonna take you behind the middle school and get you pregnant.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "I love you so much, I'm gonna take you behind the middle school and get you pregnant.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Hard Ball"}, {"t": "Good show, Liz Lemon! You coming to the after-after party. We have after-after parties?", "c": ["Liz", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "You going to the after-after-after-after party?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "It's about to turn back into a taxi dispatch center", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Don't go, Liz Lemon! There's still a after-after- after-after-after-party! I just gotta take my kids to soccer first.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Must've been Angie Harmon", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "When I was eight, I had my name on the score board at a Phillies game. And they spelled it 'Lez' but it was pretty cool.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "This ought to prove my mother wrong, saying that Donaghy is Gaelic for 'failure.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "She's a Murphy. Bunch of mud farmers and sheep rapists.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm gonna vomit! What the hell am I gonna do? I've got 10,000 cases of this crap.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Dewey, Cheatham, and Livingston", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "A black? That is offensive. No, no-- That's his last name. Steven Black.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Remarkable people, the Blacks. Musical, very athletic. Not very good swimmers. Again, I'm talking about the family.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "When I was dating Condoleezza, there were genuine cultural tensions. I mean, we would go to the movies, and she would yell at the screen.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "You know, when I leave work at night, I am just riding on a subway car full of scary, teenaged people.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Ridikolus-- the hip-hop producer? Isn't that the guy that bit Suge Knight? Yeah, yeah-- He bit Suge Knight. Held Raven Simone over a balcony. Made Rasheed Wallace cry.", "c": ["Tracy", "Others"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Don't let no one in who's not on the list 'Cause this mess is gonna get raw like sushi, so haters to the left.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "What's your game, man? Boggle.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Ridikolus"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "With that guy that sent you the flowers? By mistake?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "The old leather pumpkin?", "c": ["Flower Guy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Why am I the only person that doesn't care that he's black?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "You're lookin' at a ghost, JD. Dead Man Walking, The Green Mile, Christmas With the Klumps.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Growing up, when you were mad at somebody, you would just break dance at 'em. I'm talking about break hard, pull it back-- pop, boom, boom-- Into gladiator-- Bring it back down.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "contains no lead and is not fatal if swallowed", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "I don't want my kids to have to go to college.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Is that a piece of corn in there?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "You better watch out. Don't make a flap. 'Cause Hilary's wearing a Yankees cap.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "What do you sit and look at?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Not the fantasy movie with the, uh, monsters. I'm talking about the Strategic Defense Initiative.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Donaghy Estates tastes like the urine of Satan after a hefty portion of asparagus.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Well, pick out a stick. 'Cause Ridikolus is gonna be drinking Donaghy Estates tonight.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Wow, that would've been a great way to shoot Tracy.", "c": ["Ridikolus"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "He's very unstable. Eh, did you get that at a cane shop?", "c": ["Jack", "Ridikolus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Did you get that at a cane shop?", "c": ["Ridikolus"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Yeah, but when you see it on an airplane, they take out all the swears and stuff, and it makes it so much funnier, I think.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "We should take a carriage ride around the financial district.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "I get it. You don't like me, because I am black!", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "I love black men! I love you!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "No, no-- not that kind of chocolate.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Maybe if I just hang out with him four or five more teams, he'll see on his own that we are a bad match.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Ah, than Ahman-da. It's Amanda.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Amanda"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Tom Cruise, 'cause that's how Oprah says it. 'Tom!' That's good; sounds like her.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Shooting people at the Source Awards is a tradition. It's like Christmas. Or shooting people outside of Hot 97.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "I called his pitbull a gaywad on 106 & Park.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "We were both cast members on a Nickelodeon show called Ray Ray's Mystery Garage.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "See, it's a Catch 22! Aw, he's gonna be there too.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "What color plane you want to buy? Clear... like Wonder Woman's.", "c": ["Ridikolus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "I'm just going through the classic stages of grief. Fear... Denial... Horniness... Wisdom, sleepiness-- And now, depression.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Aren't you the man who told me to live every week like it's Shark Week? And that nothing's impossible except for dinosaurs.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "The manatee has become the mento.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "I found this really neat Canadian restaurant in Times Square.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "I truly don't like you as a person.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "And maybe someday, our children or our children's children will hate each other like that. But it just doesn't work that way today.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "No no no no no... Some women are gay.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Well, let me get on the black phone and call the NAACP so they could just send you your medal right now.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Because I collect tote bags.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "No--I think you like to dress black men up as Oprah as part of your effort to protect our dignity.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "I'm gonna find a homeless man, dress him up like me, set him on fire, then I'm gonna start a brand-new life in Arizona under the new name 'Ron Mexico.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Well, I think I speak for the both of us when I say because they're metal penises.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "What would Oprah do? Would she run away from her community, or would she face her problems head-on and try to make a difference at the Source Awards. What would I doooo!", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "What would I do, Tracy? What would I doooo!", "c": ["Tracy as Oprah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "The monkey died of natural causes, so we're in the clear.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "You're all my children of the corn.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "He's channeling Oprah. Why? Because he's articulate?", "c": ["Liz", "Steven"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "You're all wonders. You're all my miracles. You're all my children of the corn.", "c": ["Tracy as Oprah"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "I actually tried some before. It tasted real good, but it make my tongue turn white.", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Got your nose! Jay, go get my nose back.", "c": ["Ridikolus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Because everyone is getting Vermont maple scooo-oones!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Oh, will he be mad when you give them back?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Son, to have you, your moms must be so stupid she thinks Grape Nuts is an STD.", "c": ["Thug"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Well, sir, your mother must not have raised you right, 'cause you're not saying very nice things.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "You shot a Black! No no no no no-- It's cool; that's his last name.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "I got blood on my tote! He's got blood on his tote.", "c": ["Steven", "Ridikolus"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Wait till I tell Tupac about this.", "c": ["Ridikolus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Wait till I tell Tupac about this.", "c": ["Ridikolus"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Source Awards"}, {"t": "Oh, anything that doesn't have the word 'strip,' 'salsa,' or 'beatz' with a Z in the name of it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I finally just threw them out this morning 'cause they got that really bad flower smell. I kind of couldn't stop smelling them.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Don't give up, ponytail.", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "That is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Isn't that adorable? You have to fire 10% of your staff.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "We're synergizing backward overflow.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Now, there are 140 people on this show, so go out there and make 126 people very happy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Marco. Polo! Marco! Polo! Josh, you suck at this game, man.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Those big farm people hands crushin' my windpipe.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "You mean that you flat-out lied about getting a vasectomy? Don't tell me that backfired.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "How good, like Judaism good, or just like Unitarian?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "My attorney told me I should join a church preemptively. 'Cause juries are suspicious of celebrities who find religion after getting into trouble.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I believe the moon doesn't exist. I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers, but their curse is that they'll never get to prove it. I believe that there are 31 letters in the white alphabet.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Mm, I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "You know, you could be pretty if you didn't scowl so much.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "That's Dona-gee, not Dona-hee!", "c": ["Jack", "Eddie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "What'd you two dirtbags do now? Fix the Cotton Bowl?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I haven't seen Eddie since I bailed him out of Disney jail.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "My dad and Eddie are a blotch on the Dona-hee name-- Dona-gee name.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "We haven't been Presbyterian for months. And y'all always meet on Wednesday nights? Yeah, we lose half the congregation every time American Idol starts up.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Congregation member"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "He pointed right at me! He sure did!", "c": ["Tracy", "Congregation"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Banana walnut, your favorite. Uh, that's not correct, but okay.", "c": ["Writer", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "You make smart sexy.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I talk homeless people into joining the Army.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Juvie, Jonestown, that time I punched Goofy.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I hated that bird.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "No, it's... it's only inappropriate when it's ugly people.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I know who I can fire!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Ugh, you can just tell she is by her stupid face!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "You look like that lady astronaut who tried to kidnap that other woman.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Diapers, Mace, Houston to Orlando in nine hours? Blammo.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "For the first time ever, things are lining up for old Liz Lemon.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "But you had to go to the bathroom, so Dad missed seeing Meredith Vieira!", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "They never once said anything about the racist stuff towards the end.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, we're Irish. We're a forgiving people.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Kabbalah is a wonderful religion that mixes the fun part of Judaism with magic.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "This one sounds really expensive and gay.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "You know, because of The Da Vinci Code.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I bet Pops is looking down right now and saying, 'If I could come back and do any broad, it'd be that one right there.'", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "That's Patrick, this is Patricia, this is Katherine Catherine, and her husband Bobby, and this is, uh, Margaret. We just found out about her today.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Come here, you magnificent douche bag!", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Stop showing off and have a drink.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Stop showing off and have a drink.", "c": ["Family member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "What would you say are your weaknesses? Some people say I'm too nice.", "c": ["Liz", "Other Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "You're fired! I'm the decider!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "You're fired! You're all fired! Clean out your desks! Fired!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "And you still think our next President should be a woman?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Lemon, you've gone chicken killer on me over a guy whose name you don't know?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Eddie just said to write the initials on the check. C... A... S... H.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Dad? Your brother Eddie's dead. He wanted you to have his watch.", "c": ["Jack's Dad", "Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "It's pronounced Dona-fee, you lace curtain half-an-Englishman!", "c": ["Jack's Dad"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Say hello to Bono and Sandra Day O'Connor!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Say hello to Bono and Sandra Day O'Connor!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I want you...to punch your sister in the face.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "To know that they'll be there after I'm dead, fighting over my corpse before it's cryogenically frozen.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "It seems that things are lining up once again for old Liz Lemon.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I should've just gotten a vasectomy! Let me explain.", "c": ["Lutz", "Flower guy"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I should've just gotten a vasectomy!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "I'm IrisCatholic now. Like you, Regis, and the Pope.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "Whether things are good, or bad, or you're simply eating tacos in the park. There is always the crushing guilt.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Fighting Irish"}, {"t": "What's the special occasion? / I decided to eat one.", "c": ["Liz", "Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Church on a Tuesday? But he seemed so normal.", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Or your job, Jack. Or his job!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "You saw me leave the apartment this morning. / I saw you put it on and I thought it looked nice.", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "How long are you staying with me? / Indefinitely.", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Wow, if this turns into a showdown, you guys could settle it with a talking like this contest.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "He pioneered the concept of ten second internet sitcoms. Making it happen / Honey, I'm home. Oh, great. We made it", "c": ["Jack", "Devin's concept"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "They can do shapes now. One time, I saw a cowboy hat. Boom, boom, boom.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Those weren't jokes. That was an appeal for a return to common sense and decency. / Well, it got big laughs.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Lamazewell.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I never got out of my car and she never got all the way out of her tollbooth!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "What is this, 1992?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I'm not a comedy writer.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "So what team do you play for? / Oh, it's not really a team. It's just a bunch of guys who like doing gymnastics.", "c": ["Devin", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Good God. Devin is gay. He's even more powerful than I thought.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Science is whatever we want it to be.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Different time, the '60s.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Love is like an onion, and you peel away layer after stinky layer until you're just... weeping over the sink.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I call that one 'Art School.' And one about a Jewish guy who opens an ice cream parlor. That one's called 'Ice Cream Cohen.'", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I'll go slip into something a little more comfortable. Like in the movies!", "c": ["Devin", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Oh my. That's an awful short robe. / I know. I had to cut it down myself.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Devin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Can you give me a hand, Kenneth? / For a fellow page, anything!", "c": ["Devin", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have to ask at all four of us keep this to ourselves.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Jasper Buceman? / No, Tracy. Our third president. Thomas Jefferson.", "c": ["Tracy", "Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Yeah, that guy was into black chicks. I'm surprised I am not a descendant.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "This is how black people dial a phone. *Boop ood a-boop a-doop a-doop whoop* This is how white people dial a phone.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I'm straighter than you are gay and I leave particles of guys like you in my wind.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "No, Devin. I don't do that.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Fine. But I will be reporting this to the Fox Problem Solvers.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Hi, my name is Floyd and I'm an alcoholic.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Hi, my name is Floyd and I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Floyd.", "c": ["Floyd", "AA Group"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "One day at a time, Pete. I'm gonna take it one day at a time.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I had to keep talking just to stop him from putting his fingers in my mouth.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Kenneth, you are the worst gay bait ever.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Like on What's Happening when that man used Rerun to bootleg that Doobie Brothers concert!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Just like Sydney Bristow on Alias, I'll use my sexuality as a weapon.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Maybe it was some sort of brace or corrective boot you wore during childhood.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "It's like the audience for a Bobby McFerrin concert up in here!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I think he's shaking hands with Robert E. Lee.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Arbor Day, the Boston Marathon and Hitler's birthday.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "America, which I invented...", "c": ["Dream Jefferson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Well, I only have Star Wars and Tootsie, so we just keeping watching those two over and over.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Right, but isn't that one of those rules like, 'don't walk between the subway cars,' and all the cool people just do it anyway?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I ended up doing a man-on-the street commercial for Tarzan on Ice.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "You warlock! You came to entrance me. Donaghy sent you.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Walk it off, scarecrow.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I know it makes me seem just nut-log Ann Heche crazy", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I feel more confused and betrayed than those people that worked with Tootsie.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "MC Lyte just murdered Danny Bonaduce? Oh, thanks, phone!", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "The kinds of shows we watched as kids sitting on our neighbor's knee.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Confederate Monster: The Tobias Spurlock Disaster.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "It's not a comedy. It's a drama.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "It's the story of Thomas Jefferson, only thing we're gonna do it like Norbit, where I play all the parts. That's actually hilarious. It's not a comedy. It's a drama.", "c": ["Tracy", "Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I have had three donuts so far today. A couple months of ago I went on a date with my cousin.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Uh, once in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet, and I didn't leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I have some weird sexual fantasy stuff about Gopher from The Love Boat.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "I have had five donuts today.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Except mine's the one from Caddyshack. Well, that makes sense 'cause he's a very good dancer.", "c": ["Floyd", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Wait, fireworks? In Midtown? On a day that is not the Fourth of July? Oh, my God.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Fireworks"}, {"t": "Your face... it's like you're happy or something.", "c": ["Frank", "Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "'Cause of that dude you're donking. Floyd.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I thought it was moving... my bowels.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Reverse, Reverse, Skip, Skip, Draw Four!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "So, if you ever need someone to come over and videotape you guys doing it or whatever, I can make room in my schedule.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "No judgments.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Look at those eyes... sharp like a panther's.", "c": ["Don Geiss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I got a welt on my ass the size of a Red Delicious apple.", "c": ["Don Geiss"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "As my old man always said, 'If you try, you win.' And he was a hell of a garbageman.", "c": ["Don Geiss"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "But I'm taking the Microwave Division away from you.", "c": ["Don Geiss"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "His wife looks just like Walter Matthau, but she's always there for him.", "c": ["Don Geiss"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "What's that film where he turned into a dog? Uh, 'Fat Bitch,' sir.", "c": ["Don Geiss", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I call it 'Jefferson.' A movie version of 'The Jeffersons'? I love it. No, Thomas Jefferson.", "c": ["Tracy", "Don Geiss"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "You want to play Thomas Jefferson? And Sally Hemings and King George. I'm gonna play all the parts.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "What's up, stupid jerks? I'm Thomas Jefferson.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get us one of those big clocks, and I'm gonna hang it in there.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Aw, you got a face like a baby's bottom. Poop!", "c": ["Lutz", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "It makes me feel unsafe, like when my mom used to make daiquiris and sing Tanya Tucker songs.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Jack goes to Sbarro when he's angry, the New York Stock Exchange when he's horny, and Christie's auction house when he's depressed.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but... here we are.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I took the money from the sale of those pieces, and I bought a sailboat. And I named it after my ex-wife, and I sank it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "It's true... the Bianca Blows is somewhere at the bottom of the Peconic Bay.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I wish I were a horse... strong, free... my chestnut haunches glistening in the sun.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I'm not a creative type like you with your work sneakers and your left-handedness.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "His name is Floyd. That's unfortunate.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Let's say Priscille, 9:00... be sure to wear a tie.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Well, that doesn't even make sense. Everyone knows Fat Bitch died at the end.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Well, remember when Fat Bitch called all her dog friends together, and they used their high-pitched howling to mess...", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I'm never gonna finish this bikini before Nana's birthday.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Liz Lemon, you are my Alexander Hamilton.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "'Jack Attack: The Art of Aggression in Business.' Oh, no.", "c": ["Floyd", "Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "He got here before us. You're not supposed to let that happen. That's chapter two in the book.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "The only other 'Floyd' I ever knew was this Korean barber who used to cut my hair down in the 50th Street subway station. That's my dad. I'm Floyd Jr. I'm just kidding.", "c": ["Jack", "Floyd"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "The dedicated popcorn setting on your microwave was the imagination breakthrough of 1995.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "And on a personal note, sir, in my mind, the Foo Fighters' song 'Best of You' is about your managerial skills.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Lemon, I want to kiss your boyfriend on the mouth.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Could you go away for a while? I got to get rid of Freddie's erection.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Freddie is playing the part of Thomas Jefferson's horse, Caractacus.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "This movie is my destiny. It's the reason why God put me on this Earth.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry. I don't shake hands. I have avian bone syndrome. Hollow bones.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "They look just like the one crapping in my office.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Pray, who be this Tracy Jordan thou speakest of? Speakest.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Well, stand guard by his rump and await it in his droppings.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Aha, I like you, young man. You shall run my university.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Or perhaps it's eating universal healthcare.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "It's kind of like you two are dating.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Unh. It's got pockets. Are you into that? Ooh, what's this? A used Kleenex.", "c": ["Liz", "Floyd"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "'Cause this VapoRub isn't gonna get under my nose by itself.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I always sign it 'Floydster.'", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "The call is coming from inside the house.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "He seems very taken with Floyd. And you, of course.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Well, Tracy... that was terrible. The answer is 'no.'", "c": ["Don Geiss"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Well, Tracy... that was terrible. The answer is 'no.'", "c": ["Don Geiss"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I don't give a damn about the masks. I'm on all fours trying to shove the corks back in the bottles.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Floyd is me 20 years ago. I'm Don Geiss 30 years ago. 20 years from now, Floyd will be me, I'm gonna be Don Geiss, and Don Geiss will be dead.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Look at your life, Jack. It's... It's like this skybox. It's fancy and it's empty and it smells like crab cakes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "\u00df I'm gonna get an iPhone \u00df \u00df Everybody's gonna be jealous \u00df", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "I mean, who eats 16 flautas after midnight?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I hope we're talking about the same thing.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Well, I don't think Phoebe would appreciate being referred to as a Floydster.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Um, Phoebe, I want you to be my wife. Wait. What? Will you marry me? No.", "c": ["Jack", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Ow. I'm sorry. It's okay. Ow. Careful, my bones.", "c": ["Jack", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Corporate Crush"}, {"t": "Like 'get away with murdering my first wife' kind of dough.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "You could get that third humidifier you always dreamed about.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "My son Ahmed will keep his motorcycles here.", "c": ["Landlord"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "I have hollow bones. Like a bird.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "We've just won the auction rights to a fantastic collection of Chinese erotica.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "And now he's a post-op transgender.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "It's...made of gold.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "It's gonna be at least $30 million with all the Claymation sex scenes in it.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have so much money, my grandkids are gonna play lacrosse.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "You're never gonna lose a job to a guy named Garkel.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Did someone say my name?", "c": ["Garkel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Well-played, Garkel.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "No, I like Elmer Fudd. Kill da wabbit", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Just a...whirl of wind.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "I would have a three-way with two Jacks.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "I'm Samantha, you're Charlotte, and you're the lady at home who watches it.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Oh, Tracy, you can't use any of my songs.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "The Black Crusaders.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "If I was gonna spend $600 to have my boobs pinched, I would have gone to that fundraiser at the Clintons' house.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Yeah, you gotta talk to your landlord about that rat race.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "That is also a place.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "That is also a place.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Oh, there is nothing like New York in the spring! It's--oh!", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "He spit in my mouth!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey are the chief majors. But Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell, and Gordon from Sesame Street, they're members too.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "And they meet four times a year in the skull of the Statue of Liberty.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "They tanked 50 Cent's movie. They blew out Terrell Owens' ankle. And they canceled Eddie Murphy's Oscar, 'cause he, uh, ran out on Scary Spice.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Tracy Jordan, the Black Crusaders are coming for you.", "c": ["TV"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "I haven't been above 72nd Street in over a decade.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "wolf-like. Lupine.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "It's an anagram for 'Outlaw Sour Tray.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "They want me to disappear like Coolio. Coolio is around!", "c": ["Tracy", "Floyd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Cleveland tourism jingle", "c": ["Background singers"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Oh, you are so skinny. You really should eat something.", "c": ["Cleveland woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Tracy Jordan, you've gotta get away", "c": ["Cleveland singers"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "We need a host for a new cooking show on WKYC.", "c": ["Cleveland TV Executive"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "For God sakes, Lemon, we'd all like to flee to the Cleve.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "For God sakes, Lemon, we'd all like to flee to the Cleve. And club up down at the Flats and have lunch with Little Richard.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Yeah, we're all models west of the Allegheny.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Well, I'm Jack's Yoko.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "What happened to your accent? Um... I don't know what you're on about. You...daft wanker.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Liz... I took that job.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "Lemon, Phoebe was right. You are infatuated with me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "In Paris, France.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Cleveland"}, {"t": "I don't shake hands. I have avian bone syndrome. Hollow bones.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Blurg.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Do you... have any questions about the wedding night?", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "310/280. We have a winner.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "My boyfriend is moving to Cleveland, but I'm gonna go visit him over vacation. And my boss is super mad at me because I know that he fell asleep on top of his fianc\u00e9e.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "My techniques guarantee male orgasm.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "And it's the season finale of my show this week, and the star is missing and may have been abducted by a cabal of powerful black celebrities.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Can I play Barack Obama? No. It's bad enough we have Tracy playing Barack Obama.", "c": ["Josh", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Should I include Tracy and his guests, or do you think he's dead?", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "We used to do it every week without him. I'm just saying.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I will cut you open like a tauntaun... you mouth-breathing Appalachian!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "My name is Gordon Tremeshko.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I'm Jesse Parcell, Kenneth's cousin.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Shh! It really riles up the wolves.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I nearly wet my other pair of underpants.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "She's got a good, solid baby bucket.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "You are a sassy old broad, aren't you?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Rooster, this is the farmer. Is the egg safe? The egg is in the nest.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Jesse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Did he go to Russell Simmons' birthday party? Were there girls there with butts?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "You're name's Gordon Tremeshko. You live in Needmore, Pennsylvania, where we don't go out at night 'cause of the wolves.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Um... it's actually in the mid-40s. Oh, really? 'Cause it's low 40s here.", "c": ["Floyd", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I want two lobsters... totaling five pounds of lobster meat.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "And after that, we can clean the dead birds out the chimney. That's why we bought these metal rods. Don't you just love spring?", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I'll pretty much do anything to someone that's famous.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "She's like a white geisha.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "And it's not 'Bee-yan-ka,' like Sanka. It's 'Bee-yon-ka,' like Willy Won... Wonka!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I'd rather die famous than to live for 100 years like this, carrying plastic bags, sitting on benches, brushing my own teeth.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "It's like wearing your own skin to bed.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Careful... my bones.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Oh, God, this is it. Here it comes... the big one. Ride it, Donaghy. Ride it straight to hell!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Ugh! Is that how far apart my eyes are? I look like Admiral Ackbar.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I was at a costume party earlier this evening. And the hostess's dog attacked me, so I had to stab it.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Also, I suspect he may have scurvy because he keeps asking for lemon. Ah. No. That's me.", "c": ["Doctor", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Tell him his mother's here. And she loves him. But not in a queer way.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I should have worked more.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Maybe this is the drugs talking, but I think I got Nixon to agree to come on the show and say, 'Sock it to me.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I'd invite you in, but I got a living room full of dead chimney birds.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "We must rest, my chimney bird. Tonight we're reading my screenplay.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Your move, creep.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "By the hammer of Thor! You can't get away from me! I'm gonna find you! I know what you look like! I remember what you look like! You're so stupid. I got to reload.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Yeah, the President's in town, there's a transit strike, it's the Dominican Independence Day parade, a guy in suspenders is doing chalk paintings down on Canal Street.", "c": ["Paramedic"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, what a terrible mistake accident!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "If I die, will you take care of my birds? I got a lot on my plate right now, Ken. Oh. Tweety.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "You're the only person I know who wouldn't hesitate to pull the plug.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I no longer think you're doing a terrible job, and I'm very proud of you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "I'm gonna pull the plug now. Whoa, whoa. Just let me do it.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Hiatus"}, {"t": "25 super-hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring milf.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "So my old tech guys were able to digitally capture seinfeld, and now we can basically make him do or say whatever we want.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Seinfeldvision montage with Jerry saying 'Yah! That's what I said' and 'I'll take that deal!'", "c": ["Jerry (digital)"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Jerry's in europe with his family right now. But by the time he gets back, seinfeldvision will be a monster hit, and his kids'll go to school, and their friends'll say i really loved your dad in that episode of medium last night, and he'S... he's gonna love it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I started a quilt. I did yoga twice a week. I wore flip-flops in public.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "If there's two things i'm certain of, one is you will never finish that quilt", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Lemon, women your age are more likely to be mauled at the zoo than get married.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Put floyd's name on that quilt.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Yo, ken, I'm gon use this whole kitchen area as my bathroom. Spread the word.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "She froze my credit and she got custody of grizz.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "So you know I like to minister to transvestite prostitutes. I don't think I did know that, no.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "He doesn't mess with 'em. He just tries to get 'em into computer school.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "You can be a freaky deeky and do data entry. What about court reporting? Believe in yourself.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "they confused 'shim' with mrs. Jordan, yes, ma'am. And they think she looks better here than she did at the 2004 grammys.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "And they think she looks better here than she did at the 2004 grammys.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "So he's, like, my office wife? Sure. Let's go with that.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Kenneth parcell, will you take this ring... and sell it in the jewish part of midtown, and use the money to get us a nintendo wii? Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes!", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "when life keeps handing you anchovies just cover them up with some extra cheese and make a pizza", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "'cause my play was amazing. There is nothing like the thrill of doing a live show on broadway.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Liz, I had to eat four slices of pizza on stage, each performance... jenna, that's 32 pieces of pizza a week! No, that can't be right.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "it's like I flipped the eating switch, and I can't flip it back.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "oh it's worse from behind", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "She need to lose thirty pounds or gain sixty. anything between it, not place in television", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Yowza!! Oh! hey Mrs Michelin, I love your ty", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Floyd the black guy. okay, you don't care. i don't care either... so great", "c": ["Liz", "Writers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Angie kept my sharp image white noise aroma therapy machine", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I went with you to your black vampire movie. But I guess I'll just tell my friends that you have a migraine.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I got a bone to pick with that guy. I don't know which bone i'm gonna pick, but he's got some bones, and I'm gonna pick one.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "This veil costs more than my couch. Is that comedy, or do you really have a $300 couch? Both.", "c": ["Liz", "Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "This is my husband, saul rosenbear, and this is his son richard from a previous marriage. And then he cheated on me with a lamb.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "This is my husnd, saul rosenbear, and this is his son richard from a previous marriage. And then he cheated on me with a lamb.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "He looks the way you did when I tried to hold your hand on the jet.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "If I cover my good eye, you look just like courtney cox.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Aris would kill me if I ever bought a dress on sale. I can'T.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Still talking? oh, no, no, no, no. I haven't talked to him since--whew! August...9th? 4:17 P.M.? It's not over.", "c": ["Liz", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "No, it's not over till you pick up the phone, you say, 'I don't love you anymore, ' they say, 'I don't love you anymore either.' You go, 'great, I'll pick you up in 20. Let's grab a scone.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I need you to go to my house and pretend you're doing a survey for the ranford group. And then ask my wife if she's sleeping with D.L. Hughley!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Remember that night we had a three-way with elayne boosler? I don't think that was me. Oh, yeah. You know what? I think that was a mirror.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I am conducting a survey for the ranford group. And, uh...how old are you? And your weight? And when was the last time you had intercourse? Who is this? Who are you? I'm your worst nightmare, is who I is!", "c": ["Liz", "Woman", "Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Svenborgia? No. Better. But I can't tell you.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Jerry, don't be difficult. The fact of the matter is that seinfeldvision is perfectly legal, and there's nothing you can do to stop us.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "How 'bout I buy nbc and turn it into the biggest lane bryant in midtown?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "You're gonna buy nbc, like you've got $4 million just laying around...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Remember, st. Barts, I saved your life from that shark? All right, jack. I'll come back. But I still think you shot a dolphin.", "c": ["Jack", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "a lot of women buy their perfect dress when they see it, and then just trust the fact that the husband will come.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get the wedding dress, and then I'm gonna have a baby, and then I'm gonna die, and then I'm gonna meet a super-cute guy in heaven.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Number one--kill seinfeld. Number two--kill seinfeld, then kill myself. Number three--kill seinfeld, flee to svenborgia, then kill myself.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "you seduce seinfeld. Now, why is me seducing seinfeld all the way at 70?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I picked out all these throw pillows for in here, and you didn't even notice!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "How did I lose 25 pounds in one day? I didn'T. It's visual trickery. Drawing the eye up.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I just bought a dress. Because, you know, I don't need society's permission to buy a white dress. In korea, they wear white to funerals.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "That, if need be, I will marry myself.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Yeah, chocolate rain, maybe I am.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "What is the deal with my life? Are you imitating me? No! This is what i sound like when I cry!", "c": ["Liz", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I think I'm a little insulted! You're insulted?!", "c": ["Jerry", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I got nothin'.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "God--oh, god, jerry! I got nothing! You've got to do this for me, please! Oh, god, I've already sold the ad time!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Roker in a bee costume. Grenyarnia.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Oh, no! Did a korean person die?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I know what me and kenneth have looks perfect on the outside, but it's work, damn it. It's work.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "Lemon, don't ever say you're just you. Because you are better than you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "$4, 000 ham napkin.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "I look pretty, though, right? Don't push it, lemon.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Seinfeldvision"}, {"t": "This is a $54 steak... And of course I can't eat it because of my recent, uh... heart attack. Secret heart attack.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "You want to watch me eat this steak in front of you? That's what I want.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Uh, no. I subscribe to Giant Boats.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "'like business, with a pillowy abyss of a lover's bosom, seems infinite'... Pillowy abyss? Ignore that part.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "By talking about sex in a sailing magazine? That's exactly how Margaret Thatcher did it.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "You ate that whole thing? A dog took it. He came out of nowhere.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Oh, it's the Japanese porn star diet. I only eat paper, but I can eat all the paper I want, so...", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "No...no, no, no-- you are fat. Now go and see Dr. Spaceman right now and get this taken care of.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Like James Gandolfini or Fat Albert?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "What, are we back in college freshman year? Let's go to the common room and talk about apartheid.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "I'm not making excuses, Jack. But this is taken care of-- ow! Oh, it hurts! I missed a dentist appointment this morning.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "You drawn to the phallic nature of our skyline?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "You can't, you're gay. No, not anymore, friend.", "c": ["Jack", "Devin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "You mean the cult that was invented by Stan Lee? The religion founded by the alien king living inside Stan Lee.", "c": ["Jack", "Devin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "I can totally feel the gay draining right out of me. By the eye of Zolnak, right, guys?", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "ICU81MI 'I see you ate one, am I?' Hilarious.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Angie is in the past, like Dracula and broadcast television.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "With who? That guy Mike that re-did our driveway?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "For your height, your weight puts you in what we call the disgusting range.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Crystal meth has been shown to be very effective. How important is tooth retention to you?", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Oh, please-- Dr. Spaceman is my dad. Call me Leo.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "That's where the Olsen twins were separated.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "I can't be on television looking like I just had a baby or something.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "You know, this right here is why I got into medicine.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Alan Garkel in legal-- I don't think he really needs that wheelchair.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Mr. Banks, Mr. Donaghy eats guys like you as part of a healthy breakfast.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Heart attack? Really? Right, Mr. D? High five! Not now? Okay.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Hey, I've got a character for Jenna called, 'Me want food.' She's in a supermarket and she keeps going, 'Me want food!'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Fat Hillary. She can be, like, 'Me want food!'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "At least I don't live with my mom--ow.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Holy crap, did your tooth just fall out? Oh, that's not great, huh?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Hello, Angie. I hear you're single now. That's cool. What? I like your top. I'm a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Why not? I have a grandkid who calls me Don. Next time he does it, I'm marching that little bastard to a recruiting station.", "c": ["Don Geiss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "She got big.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Me want food!", "c": ["Kathy Geiss"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "That's not what I hear.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Get the old heart rate up. Maybe pound a cheeseburger in the sun, throw some butter on it. You're gonna love it! I'm gonna make your heart explode.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "I got something on my mind grapes I need to talk to you about.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "I want you to go to my house and make love to my wife, Ken. Jiminy Christmas!", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "'Cause we live on Dacrib Avenue.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Hey!Oh!Me want food! This woman was a mouseketeer, ma'am.", "c": ["Street person", "Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Hey, I am wanting the foods! Very good. Very nice.", "c": ["Street person"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "You earned me a grand! Thank you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Your back is like a barrel of snakes! Oh, god! I'm just your doll! I think I love you. We're joking! It's all jokes!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Your back is like a barrel of snakes! Oh, god! I'm just your doll! I think I love you. We're joking! It's all jokes!", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Did you know, scientifically speaking, that humans want food but don't need it.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "I'm keeping it! The fat. I've decided to keep it because people recognize me, and I get off on it.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "And who's wearing a one-piece swimsuit instead of underwear. I have to do laundry.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Just so you know, if you hear this sound at your funeral, it's just me laughing!", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "This boy comes to the door, tries to kiss me, then he throws up and starts crying.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "No more jewelry with my name misspelled. 'Anjy'", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "This grilled cheese has mayonnaise in it! What?", "c": ["Angie", "Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "I mean, I almost let a man die today, Caitlin. And for what? For a bigger office? For more money?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "Get to know my secret family up in Canada.", "c": ["Don Geiss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "You mind if I watch you eat that? Okay.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Jack Gets in the Game"}, {"t": "You always ruin everything", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "An eagle with the head of a bear", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "You hired someone to investigate yourself? That's weird", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Well, you do the same thing with your therapist every week, don't you?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. That's a fake phone", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Bling, bling! That is ghetto fabulous", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "This belonged to Brooke Astor", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "I'm whipped. Angie got me up at 7:30 today", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Did you know in the morning they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Tracy's like a horny child. He needs constant adult supervision", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Oh, you looking for a sassy black friend? Well, you got one now, girlfriend", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Putting on this weight is the best thing that ever happened to me", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Enorme. Make him chase the chunk", "c": ["Commercial"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Can't plus size women wear regular perfume?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "I just like you more when you're fat", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "The 1976 Democratic National Convention. But it's okay, I was there beating up hippies", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "My brother Eddie sells faulty sprinkler systems to elementary schools", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "My mother's an Olympic level racist", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Unless getting thrown out of a Chili's is a crime", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "You know what? Don't tell me. I like to find that out on my own. I'm a watcher", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "If I sign a friend up at my gym, I get a free hat", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "The offer to play Ms. Pac-Man in the live action Atari movie", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "A high five. It was our special thing", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "You can't ask a tiger not to turn back into a Chinese dude at midnight", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "The only way I could feel better about myself is to get booby-slapped by a coked-out Russian stripper", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Me want food, right?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "I'm gonna fatten you up, grow to love you, and then my uncles'll slit your throat", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "He's the King of Spain, Jack. I don't think that counts", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "I could never pay an English-speaking person that little. They'd starve", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "You don't have a massive collection of cookie jars, do you?", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Yes, I'm Victor Nightingale", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "That's a fake! Giuliani doesn't collect dolls", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Because he incinerated them! In 1989, the year he ran for mayor", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "He went to the vet. His cobra got sick", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Then my thumb got caught in my butt, so I nodded my head until it came out", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "You smell like Enorme and brass polish", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Thank you for being my secretary!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "He's an entrepreneur. What's the character's name? Slick-back Lamar", "c": ["Angie", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Did you just try to control my body with your white hand?", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "We open on a lone soldier walking through the desert. The year 1861. The place Mars", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "It made my dad's heart just up and give out. And that's what made my mom's friend Ron move in", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "You're like John Kerry with his windsurfing. I warned him too", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Tell her you like her nails. Always works for me at the bank", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Usually, but now you got me thinking about it.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Women with low self-esteem take refuge in either food or sex. Not me, of course", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Who picked out your outfit? Stevie Wonder?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 4.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Smooth move, Exlax", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "I've always viewed it as an upside down 'wow'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Every time I meet a new person I figure out how I'm gonna fight 'em", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "You have a gimpy left knee, right?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Oh, daddy! Go on, keep talking. What else don't you like about me?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Also, your nails look tacky", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Also, your nails look tacky.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "But I don't care. 'Cause I'm putting my foot down.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "But the both of you, you're forcing me to act like an adult. An adult!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Well, it turns out she's the wrong kind of crazy.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "They'd go into the bedroom to sort out their paperwork.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "It was almost as if I took every problem that I ever had and I put it inside that cookie jar. And I sealed it up so tight that nothing would never, ever, ever get out", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "And I sealed it up so tight that nothing would never, ever, ever get out.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "I'd give cookie jars about a 'B.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Please tell Patty and Beth and all of them that, uh, Vic Nightingale says hello", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Collection"}, {"t": "Wait, how could Liz win a fellowship award? She doesn't like people. No, followship.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Presented annually to the woman... sorry, person, who best exemplifies a follower.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "I'm not a follower. It also comes with ten grand. I accept this proudly on behalf of followers everywhere.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "So resistant to product integration, cross-promotion, and adverlingus.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "So what are you gonna do with your money, put it into a 401K? Yeah, I gotta get one of those. What?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Where do you invest your money, Liz? I have, like, 12 grand in checking. Are you an immigrant?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "If I can't be Monique fat, I have to be Teri hatcher thin. Either way, you're laughin'.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Is she one of the ladies who tried to shoot Gerald Ford?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Pardon me! Pardon you? You were already pardoned! It's funny 'cause it's true.", "c": ["Rosemary", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "When I mean my friends, I mean my Fisher Price... My friend dolls. Because I didn't have a lot of friends.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, boy. Am I still talking? You're gonna kill me, aren't you?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "I grew up wanting to be Samantha Stevens on bewitched. Closest I got was being married to a gay guy for two years.", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "And by heroine, I mean lady hero. I don't wanna inject you and listen to jazz.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "If you desecrate something, is that bad?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Who would have ever known there was so many words? It was like a mos def cd.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Except no dog fighting, okay? That seems to be the one thing that's off limits these days.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Dog fighting it is. Make it happen.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Man, this is Phil spector's entourage all over again.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "It's like sex, you know? It's almost better when everything goes horribly wrong.", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Does everyone still do blow in Joe Garagiola's office? Which one is blow again? Is that cocaine?", "c": ["Rosemary", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Mr. Perfect, Mr. Jesus loves me Parcell finally messed up? Do you know how long I've been waiting to transfer that thumbhead to cnbc in paramus, New Jersey?", "c": ["Donnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "You've probably never seen breasts before. So I'm gonna lean over this desk and you're gonna give me a new page jacket.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Please, I breast fed 'til I was 11. So I've forgotten more about a woman's chest than you'll ever know.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "But... I'm on TV. I said, 'good day.' No, you didn't. Well, I meant to.", "c": ["Jenna", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "I have an idea. We open on a new Orleans abortion clinic. A beautiful mulatto... Uh, I don't think we're allowed to use any of those words.", "c": ["Rosemary", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Don't you get it? The mailbox was haldeman. Is that a person who lived?", "c": ["Rosemary", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "We get Josh in blackface, right? And then we get Tracy to call him a!", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "I'd watch that.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "We would have done that on the Mandrell sisters!", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Frank, what do you have this week? Uh, Barry the humping dog is shopping for a ge washer and dryer.", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "What? No! You idiots! I built a dog fighting pit in my basement for this?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Tracy, don't play with matches! You're not my dad! Tracy, don't stare directly at the sun. It'll make you crazy. You're not my dad.", "c": ["Jack", "Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, props gave me a bunch of dog penises for you to look at.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Fire her. And don't ever make me talk to a woman that old again.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "You know who uses that phrase? People who don't have the guts or the brains to work inside the system. Letter writers, radicals, Howard Dean.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "You got into this business because you're funny and you're weird and you're socially retarded.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "What's a triangle graph? I don't know! It sounded real.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Suck it up, nerd.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Yes!", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "I don't need therapy. I'm just mentally ill.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Tracy, what if I told you that the one thing you cannot do is therapy? You're not my dad! We're doing therapy!", "c": ["Jack", "Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "It's a savage contest. Mixing physical stamina with NBC trivia.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Yeah, we can start our own network called bitch TV! Or the second idea that we think of.", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, they call it little chechnya. So gritty and real. More murders per capita than Detroit.", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Is that guy carrying a gun? Yeah, but don't worry. He's not a cop.", "c": ["Liz", "Rosemary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Like my wife and I do? Cool. You be the maid. I want you to scream. Donaghy, you play the matador.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, dummy! I'm mad at you too. Why you gotta act out that way? Now, pass me them damn collard Greens!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Dyn-o-mite! I think we're just doing good times now.", "c": ["Jack", "Therapist"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Lady, just because I'm an ignorant black man. And you paid me a nickel to bust up your chifforobe, doesn't give you the right to call me ridiculous just 'cause I'm proud of my son.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "They got me. The honkeys shot me. No, dad! Don't die! I love you, dad!", "c": ["Jack", "Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "You know, it's too bad you didn't know Howard Cosell when you were growing up. 'Cause I had that one in my pocket the whole time.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Women in their 50s join the army and get laid by a bunch of grateful 18 year olds. I predict opening weekend, a million dollars.", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, Liz. It's the 90s!", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "You pick up guys that are smart and funny. And they leave you for someone less complicated. You're never gonna get married, Liz.", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "You obsess about the Jamaican man across the hall. Oh, my god. I lost my job.", "c": ["Rosemary", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Help me, Liz Lemon! You're my only hope!", "c": ["Rosemary"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "What, are you kidding me? This is a billion dollar company! Demerits?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Never go with a hippie to a second location.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "You make enough money, you can pay people to look at you naked.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, and by the way, ge has a problem with the dog penis sketch.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, what about cat penises?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Rosemarys Baby"}, {"t": "This is sunset blush. I wear tiger orgasm.", "c": ["Unknown female character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Pete's having an affair... The sexy justin timberlake hat.", "c": ["Liz", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "The only reason men start taking care of themselves is if they're getting someone to have sex with them. If it wasn't for that, they'd just sit at home in their own filth.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Hey, Liz. We're out of string cheese, so I think I'm gonna take off.", "c": ["Pete", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "To save the earth? So we can drain the remainder of its resources.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Greenzo! Saving the earth while maintaining profitability.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "America's first non-judgmental, business-friendly environmental advocate. The free market will solve global warming, if that even exists.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Greenzo? Is that the first name that came to your head? Can you believe it? I mean, it just popped right there.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "My last real job was an ad for Rick Lazio's New York Senate campaign. 'Hillary Clinton wants an all-homosexual army. How will that affect my family?'", "c": ["Jared"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "I just wish my mom were still alive so I could rub it in her fat face.", "c": ["Jared"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "I'm always the only person who shows up.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Harvey Lemmings, my lawyer, who never misses a party. That's not a real person. You made that up.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "'Cause if the earth's not here, where else is Greenzo gonna dance?", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Sorry, everybody, that's Meredith Vieira.", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "It's wry and wise, but also very sexual.", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh, we gotta update these forms.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Wow, if you licked the envelope, you could clone him, and then you'd have two Geisses.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Yeah, right, Lemon. I'm gonna clone Geiss, then compete with a Geiss clone for the CEO position?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "I'm just a simple pig farmer's son.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "During your party, I'll be home, listening to some Schubert. And, uh, ironically, viewing some Canadian pornography.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Hope you're ready to party like it's 1999. Which, according to my Bible, will be in seven years.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Your beautiful wife Paula. And your sons, Robert and Jack. And that creepy little one who's always rubbing himself against the carpet.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Oh, great, now I smell like midlife crisis!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Here's a tip, Cerie. Decide what you want before you open the refrigerator. You just released enough hydrofluorocarbons to kill a penguin. This penguin.", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "You ever take off that costume? You ever take off yours? Greenzo out!", "c": ["Cerie", "Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Did he just talk to me like I'm ugly?", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Ken went to high school in Georgia with the rapper T.I. And, boys... T.I. might show up.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Bob Logan from Texas Instruments is gonna be there? Logan must be in contention for the CEO spot as well.", "c": ["Jack", "Jonathan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what else takes a long time? Building a new earth.", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Do you even bother to compost your own feces?", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Are you saying actors can't change the world? I guess nobody bothered to tell Sharon Stone.", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "So let's have a little less yappity yap and a little more clackity clack.", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "You jag! I just got this, like, eight years ago.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "You're cheating with your wife?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "That's my fault. I get off on the sneakin' around. Who knew, right?", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Why is there a pop-tart in the bed? What do you do with the pop-tart?", "c": ["Paula", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "It combines my two favorite things: Boxing and referees!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "You dummy, first of all, you didn't dial that cell phone. Second of all, that is your own rumor.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Just like Colonial Williamsburg.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "I'm just horny to be in New York", "c": ["Kenneth's cousin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Isn't that a fantastic joke?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "So that's the way you wanna play this? Whip 'em out, measure 'em.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Hey, kids, can you hold your breath? Good. Now do it forever. 'Cause the air is gonna be poisoned unless we switch to green technology. Sold by our company.", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "It's rude to interrupt people.", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "I'm talking about big companies and their two-faced, fat cat executives.", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Did you kids know that we could actually end global warming in five years, if we just raised taxes on the super-rich by just 2%?", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "It doesn't matter if it's true. He works for that money.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "So much hair.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "We did it on your kitchen table. I shouldn't have told you that.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "If there were money in the future instead of just hugs.", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Can you fire the wind, Jack? Can you fire a hurricane?", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "We're developing that technology!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. Mr. Lutz, you ate all my parakeet's medication.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "And thanks to you, Sonny Crockett has been having seizures all morning.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Mr. Jordan, I saw you steal my sink.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Mr. Jordan, I saw you steal my sink.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Harlem Globetrotter... does that name mean nothing to you?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "I will have you know that before last night, I had never, ever seen Grizz or Dotcom cry.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "You were all present at Kenneth parcell's last party ever.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Is he gonna be the new Greenzo? Uh, not exactly. I may have gotten him here under false pretenses.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "We met when Jack was an intern for Senator Ted Kennedy. Let me tell ya, Jack was the most liberal guy--", "c": ["Al Gore"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Your parent company could lobby Congress and the president to pass the treaty and save the climate. Yes, or... you could put on a silly hat and tell the kids how outsourcing means cheaper toys at Christmas.", "c": ["Al Gore", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Back off, Jack! Or you'll be Greenzoed! You'll all be Greenzoed!", "c": ["Jared/Greenzo"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "A whale is in trouble. I have to go.", "c": ["Al Gore"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Oh, boy, okay. This earth is ruined! We gotta get a new one.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Greenzo"}, {"t": "Somebody on my block is making waffles, and it's makin' me horny!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Wait, you smell maple syrup too? You live all the way in jersey. That's weird.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Don't panic, lemon. It's probably not a chemical attack. What do you mean 'probably'?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "It's a chemical agent we sold to the Saudis in the 1980s. It smells exactly like maple syrup. But I don't think this is it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Because northrax kills you within ten seconds.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I get my haircut every two days. After all, your hair is your head suit.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I'm going to a party tonight honoring Robert Novak. It's being thrown by John McCain and John Bauer. Um, I don't think he's real. Oh, I assure you, lemon, John McCain is very real.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "When it comes to hair, no one is more bitchy than conservative males. Good lord, Donaghy. Did you comb your hair with a chicken bone?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Good lord, Donaghy. Did you comb your hair with a chicken bone?", "c": ["Conservative male"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Don't get peer pressured into invading Iran.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "NOT POISONING RIVERS SINCE 1997", "c": ["Visual gag"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "'Cause I saw on Martha Stewart how we're all doing everything wrong.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Sweet peaches! What have I done? Somewhere along the way, they must have slipped out the bottom.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Uncle butch was right. I'm just a stupid country bumpkin with great skin and soft hands.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "They cost $2,500. I will find your pants!", "c": ["Kenneth", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I'm... liz. What's your name? Raheem. Raheem. That's-- that's my mother's name. No, it-- no, I'm just kidding.", "c": ["Liz", "Raheem"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "He's weird. He wouldn't shake my hand. And I think it's because I'm a woman. And get this--he's got maps all over his walls.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "That's different, that's-- that's an antique. And I'm a white lady.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Remember, I asked that black guy if he had seen Sideways?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I don't want to sound racist, but that pita pocket might be a terrorist. That sound racist?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Wow, I never would have pegged you for a University of Tennessee sorority girl.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "For men, it's called a Hardy Boy.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Pants! Pants! Pants! Pants! Pants! Pants!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "And I tried looking in the last place you'd ever expect. And, no, Mr. Donaghy's pants are not in the ladies' room at that laser tag place on 12th avenue.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "What the what?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING", "c": ["Visual gag"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I mean, who knew that ottoman had wheels, right?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "turning the children of Chickotagua orange.", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I gave her the ottoman, and she walked out.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I'm kidding. Be an American--call it in.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "If a bleeding heart liberal like you has any suspicions...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Well, sure, 'cause that Verizon wireless service is just unbeatable. I mean, if I saw a phone like that on TV, I would be like, 'where is my nearest retailer so I can... get one?'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Can we have our money now? Come on... big money.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "In 1998, I got shot in the face by my neighbor's dog.", "c": ["C.C."], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "My neighbor had a Riverton hunting rifle with a faulty trigger safety. One day, his Jack Russell terrier started chewing the area, the gun went off, and shot me in the face.", "c": ["C.C."], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "So I did what was right: I sued Riverton, my neighbor, and the dog.", "c": ["C.C."], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "You know, I thought you made love like an ugly girl. So present, so grateful.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Oh, I get it: Romeo and Juliet. Capulets and Romulans.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I'm black, she's white. I'm black, she's light-skinned black. I'm black, she's 17.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "and she does it like her dad's a minister.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "We Parcells are neither wealthy nor circumcised, but we are proud.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Soon everyone will know the name Raheem Haddad.", "c": ["Raheem"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I'm going to get into politics!", "c": ["C.C. from Lifetime movie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "No, we're cool. Uh, I renounce Raheem. Raheem's a bad guy. USA number one!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I get my jamaican meat pies there.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "And this is my brother Hakim. And these are the reasons you should choose us to be the next contestants on The Amazing Race!", "c": ["Raheem"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "We love America!", "c": ["Raheem and Hakim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Tell her you want her privates and her privates to do a high-five.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Tell her she got some tig ol' biddies like the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Tell her her butt look like a apple and you wanna take a bite.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "We'll ignore our differences till the sex goes bad, then we'll walk away bitter and angry.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Stop eatin' people's old french fries, pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "They put electrodes on my testicles, Liz. America's government shocked my nuts.", "c": ["Raheem"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I want to do something spectacular with it.", "c": ["Raheem"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "Northrax. Hey! I made waffles. Thank god.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Somebody to Love"}, {"t": "I am from Hamburg, ja!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Hey, Liz Lemon, I'm going to an animals-only strip club. Interested?", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Does that mean the animals strip or the animals are the customers? / Animal customers? That's ridiculous.", "c": ["Liz", "Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Big night, Lemon? Let me guess. Meatball sub, extra bread, bottle of NyQuil, TiVo 'Top Chef,' a little Miss Bonnie Raitt, lights out.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Then you won't mind when I tell you that Casey gets voted off tonight. / You monster! Why are you like this?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Dijonaise is a boy's name? Pardon me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "I wasn't. My motorcycle hit a police horse. This is community service.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "These kids come from Knuckle Beach, the worst neighborhood in New York. They are poor as hell.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Everyone told us we were going to lose because our team was all white and the other team was completely... Uh... Anyway, we won", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "When I grow up, I'm going to do vending-machine maintenance. / I'm going to get shot by a cop and sue the city. / I'm going to be a talkative doorman with a drinking problem.", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "0-17. / Damn! We supposed to be at the game right now. / 0-18! / That one's on Coach Tracy.", "c": ["Tracy", "Kids"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "That's right. You shoot for the stars.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Someday I'll have an office like this. To clean.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Like R. Kelly and Michael Vick.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Who ordered the veal? Am I right, guys?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "I like your blond streaks. It's very Simon Le Bon. / Who? / Oh, you're young.", "c": ["Jenna", "Jamie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Give it up, Jenna. You're talking to an ultrasound.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Hah, Frank's gay! / Maybe I am gay. For that little peach.", "c": ["Toofer", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "There's a weird dude standing over there, and I don't want to get shot today.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "That's why I sponsor a charity that gives away tuxedoes to homeless people. It was a beautiful ceremony. Mazel tov.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "At our first practice, they asked me what the sun was.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Did you just come from working out, or are you naturally veiny?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Just gellin' like Magellan.", "c": ["Jamie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Jamie, how old do you think I am? / I don't know. 29? / Wow. You are good at guessing ages. I am exactly 29.", "c": ["Frank", "Jamie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "I bought you a sweater. It's slim-fitting. They call it a French cut. It wasn't on sale or anything.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "You can't be gay for just one person unless you're a lady and you meet Ellen.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "I had my 'no sex with Asians' rule. But then one day you walk into Sharper Image, and there's Quan.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Cougars. Hot older ladies pouncing on their young prey.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "The one with the 'Crisis in Africa' cover. God, it makes me so sad that more people don't know about cougars.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "You should get a Ring Pop to suck on.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "A world where orange soda is an acceptable substitute for breast milk!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "It's like this great country of ours. We can go into any nation, impose our values, and make things better. It's what Bush is doing all over the globe.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Bush? Now, I don't want to go off on a rant here.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry. This is my dream journal. They've all come true so far.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "You can't wear blue in Knuckle Beach, which is hard because jeans go with everything.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Speaking of music I like, how about Gnarls Barkley, huh? That guy's great. Have you been to his official website?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "I'm 37! / I'm 20. / This just went from a senior dating a freshman to Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau.", "c": ["Liz", "Jamie", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Are those friends of yours? / Oh, when will death come?", "c": ["Jamie", "Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Where did you two meet? An Amber Alert?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Boy, the art in here is hung really level.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "You've got money, status, naturally thick hair, a decent set.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "I went up on my roof the other day.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "And they all seem to really hate my grandpa 'cause they keep yelling, 'Kill Whitey.' And I'm like, 'What do you think you are, alcohol?'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "'Betrayal'... colon... 'What Really Happened With My Baseball Team'... comma... 'Disaster at Knuckle Beach'... question mark.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "And they won't listen, especially when I say, 'Don't hit me with my own shoes.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Guess you're not the only cougar in town. Aidan's a freshman at NYU. / Sure. / Give me change for a soda? / You just had one. / Whatever. / Hey! What did I say about you wearing your Heelys inside?", "c": ["Cerie", "Aidan"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Is it like that time they found my grandpa at the bus station?", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Hey! What did I say about you wearing your Heelys inside?", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "His name is Jamie, and you know what? I don't spend a lot of time worrying about his feelings.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "That's great, Maude. How's Harold?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "I made you a painting. It's called 'One-Armed Mermaid That's Part Unicorn With Bigfoot.'", "c": ["Jamie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Which ReShon?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "One word. Surge. / That's two words!", "c": ["Jack", "Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Tracy, I'll pay somebody to read them for you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "We're just two straight guys who want to enjoy each other's bodies.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "These Dominican birth certificates say otherwise.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Really? I've never been in a cab with less than seven people.", "c": ["Jamie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "All right, Mom. I'm taking off! / Mom? / Yeah, I'm 20. I can't afford this place.", "c": ["Jamie", "Liz", "Jamie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Yep, that's what we look like. Shut it down.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Sexual incompatibility, social faux pas, meeting their parents.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "A younger companion makes you feel more alive. Opens you up to new experiences, fresh points of view, stimulating conversation. / Stop repeating what I say.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "What? No. I mean this company is my girlfriend. She gives me all the loving I'll ever want or need. / That's gross, Jack.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "What? No. I mean this company is my girlfriend. She gives me all the loving I'll ever want or need. / That's gross, Jack.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "I'm not gay-gay. I'm just gay for Jamie.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "I'm not gay-gay. I'm just gay for Jamie.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Bye, sexy bear!", "c": ["Terence"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Bye, sexy bear!", "c": ["Terence"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "My muffin top is all that? Whole grain, low fat? I know you want a piece of that? But I just want to dance?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Cougars"}, {"t": "Don't worry. It's too early for the creative types, and I sent my assistant to a nonexistent Italian bakery out in Queens.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I can't go back there without sfogliatelle!", "c": ["Assistant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Take off your pants suit.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Oh! Workplace!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I gave up caffeine, so I've been going to bed at 5:30.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Lakeesha Gutierrez-Arafat", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "It's actually a rape whistle but the whistle part fell off, and I just liked how it looked so I kept it.", "c": ["C.C."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "'It' being business. Of course. I call the movie 'Risky Business' 'Risky It.' Because 'it' means business.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I went to Harvard. I did stand-up there this weekend.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Well, I got a squeezer from an Indian girl on a bunk bed, so I think I got the full Harvard experience.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Oh, that word bums me out unless it's between the words 'meat' and 'pizza.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "This corporation has a very strict 'bros before hos' policy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Okay, if I can't say 'lovers,' you can't say 'feelings.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "And try not to dress like a small-town lesbian.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Well, Lemon, that was a good chat. Good luck with that alopecia problem of yours.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Oh, come on! I don't have that. Very hairy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Do I? I don't.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Best Actress in a Movie Based on a Musical Based on a Movie!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Like where are the french fries I did not ask for? You guys need to anticipate me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I talked to him last time when he wanted to change his name to 'Wise Greasy Bastard.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Oh, monsters, why did I create you?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Boy, I hope we rescue the Starfish King on this adventure. It'll be a slam dunk!", "c": ["Tracy", "Shaquille O'Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Would you call what we did last night 'sex'?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "A million dollars, a yellow Bentley, and nothing.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Maybe I should just give up and try this crystal meth I've been hearing so much about.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Pacific Rim Emmys.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I spent nine months in Japan shooting 'Samurai, I-Am-Urai.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "It's when you run up on a lady on the streets and pull her tube top down while your friend videotapes it. It's considered a crime here. Thanks a lot, Puritans.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I'm just kidding. I know he doesn't care what humans do.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Props has an old basketball trophy we could solder some wings onto.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "You're my rock. It is amazing how grounded I've been able to stay despite my c\u00e9l\u00e9brit\u00e9.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "What's up, dude? I went to Harvard.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I lived in Lowell House and was a member of the Signet Society.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Your lame thing is on his pants.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Perfect. Just when I get back from Maiden Voyage, Newark's first offshore gentlemen's barge.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Then you can check out my award. Ha ha ha! Banter!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "No, don't blame him. You're the one who rewards his bad behavior. You give him anything he wants.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "We had a longer invite list, but we thought for the sake of discretion... We had to eliminate anybody with any influence or connections or stature, so that pretty much left you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Then we added Kenneth so you would have somebody to talk to.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "What's your favorite pizza topping? Mine's plain, but I like others.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Shelley Long, you're truly an inspiration to me!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "wanizame atakku! Shark attack!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "But I did hear the janitor saying your boobs looked good.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Aah! The squirrel! It's not afraid of people!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "It's like we share a brain.", "c": ["C.C."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "You can't pass, you hillbilly!", "c": ["C.C."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I'm-a the plumber. I'm here-a to fix the washing machine.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I ate a 3 Musketeers bar for breakfast this morning, and this bra is held together with tape.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Oh, God, it was my birthday yesterday.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "He didn't leave. He's a submarine commander running silent.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "$5 million each? That's NBA sexual-assault money.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "It's like seeing a dog wearing clothes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I should never have listened to a woman who tapes her bra together.", "c": ["C.C."], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "She told an NBC tour that she was going to get them all pregnant.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "And your name is probably something like Melissa.", "c": ["Sacha"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Oh, Melissa? Your face is on the phone. Soccer practice is over and you need to pick it up.", "c": ["Patrice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "How do you and Mary Matalin make it work? She's a brilliant, patriotic Republican strategist, and you, let's face it, are a pinko nutjob.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Even Desert Storm.", "c": ["Carville"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Cajun style.", "c": ["Carville"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Cajun style.", "c": ["Carville"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Your online fan club? That's me. I made Frank set that up as a punishment after he farted in my chair.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "And this award you just got? It's a cookie.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I lie awake at night wondering what fresh hell tomorrow will bring.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Dude, you got a frohawk, man. Do you think you're better than us?", "c": ["Toofer", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I've got a new nickname for Josh. Dr. Haircut.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I don't know why it was so urgent you have it before noon.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I'm 43, and you have great hair.", "c": ["C.C."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "She's my liberal, hippy-dippy mama. My groovy chick. My old lady.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I gave to NPR last year.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I'm gay. I'm black.", "c": ["Executives"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "I murdered my wife.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Secrets And Lies"}, {"t": "Oh, won't people just end up shredding their photos? / If you want to photo-scan, you flip the switch to 'PS.' And if you want to paper-shred, you flip the switch to... Oh.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "I just want to say that I'm really sorry for whatever I'm going to do at the party tonight. And I forgive all of you in advance for leaving me passed out by the elevator in my own gravy.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Merry Ludachristmas, everyone!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Are you gonna do Horny Santa again, Frank? That was so funny last year when I sat on your lap. / Yes. Funny.", "c": ["Jenna", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "And we're gonna go to that restaurant where they pretend it's Mars!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "No, I remember them arguing a lot during the gas crisis of '79. But since Carter left office, it's been pretty smooth sailing.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "No, I invited her out of my paralyzing Irish guilt, but her plane was grounded because of Hurricane Zapato.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Ha! Look at that. That's where she lives. Jupiter. The eye of the storm.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "She took a bus to Atlanta. She got JetBlue to accept an Amtrak ticket.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Isn't this the office you had before? I thought you were up for a big promotion. / I am, Mother. And there are only two nicer offices in the whole building. / Only two? I don't like the odds. I think you better let that dream go.", "c": ["Colleen", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Is she Spanish? / What if she was, Mother? / She's very smart, Colleen. You'd like her. / My thanks to the peanut gallery.", "c": ["Colleen", "Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Jack... this coat isn't gonna take itself off.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Mitch was in a skiing accident his senior year of high school, and he has what's called trauma-induced niveaphasia. Basically he's just stuck in the day before his accident.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Oh, tomorrow's the big day! It's gonna be totally rad! / Yeah, Mitch! Rad!", "c": ["Mitch", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "He thinks it's 1985. So if you meet him, just be cool. It should be mentioned that, sexually, Mitch is very much an adult. / No, it should not be mentioned.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Merry Jewish.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Christmas is about gratitude and togetherness. Sitting with friends and family around a crackling fire, waiting for the owl meat to cook.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Sometimes I don't think you people understand Christmas at all.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Hi. I think I'm early. I'm here to have Christmas meats eaten off my chest at some party?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "So it's my fault diners can serve alcohol in New York State? That's on me now?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "And now? This time of the year? Ludachristmas? Nude Year's Eve? Martin Luther King Day? All you do is drink!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Okay. But who's project manager?", "c": ["Dot Com"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "I'm sending them to my mother's hotel room because the room service there is 'too salty.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Lemon party! Permission to land? / Permission granted!", "c": ["Mitch", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Psych! You can't go! It's the senior class trip! / Aw! Psych! You got me, Mitch!", "c": ["Mitch", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "You are a very, very handsome man. Looks like an Arrow shirt model.", "c": ["Margaret"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "So, Jack, is this beautiful genius the best employee you've ever had or what? / No.", "c": ["Dick", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "I like this guy's honesty. / Yeah, me too.", "c": ["Dick", "Margaret"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Show us what you've been working on, Wilma Shakespeare.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Oh, you! Butta-butta-butta! Mwah!", "c": ["Margaret"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "They built all of this because of words you wrote.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Hey, Liz, guess who's going skiing with me. Chris Stanek... your boyfriend! Whoo! Oh, what? Shut up! I don't like him! Boys are gross!", "c": ["Mitch", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "No, he was in a skiing accident, and he thinks it's 1985. / No, I get it. I'm talking about your parents.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Even when I sued the Lower White Haven School District to let girls play football.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "We didn't make the playoffs that year, but I think we led the league in bravery.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "I've never seen such relentless blind encouragement. No wonder you're a sexually frightened know-it-all.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "I'm the lady from 'Flashdance'! / That's a good 'Flashdance,' honey. Good 'Flashdance.'", "c": ["Liz", "Dick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "I was pretty addicted to coke back in my Wall Street days.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "We can play party games... like 'Murder'! First, everybody takes a slip of paper out of a hat. And one person's slip says 'murderer,' and another person's slip says 'inspector.' Then everyone puts their head down. Except the murderer... He's the inspector. No, that's not right.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "The TV had over 100 channels, for God's sakes. I'm only gonna be here for three days!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Jack, do you have a bathroom that I can get to in a hurry? / Yes. Right... in here, Mother. / Well, that is close, isn't it?", "c": ["Colleen", "Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Oh, I love that name! C. C. / Ooh, I'll be any girlfriend of yours is a real winner! / Well, she is a congresswoman. / Oh, my goodness! Congresswoman!", "c": ["Margaret", "Dick", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "And she does have her own Lifetime movie. / Lifetime! Wowzers!", "c": ["Jack", "Margaret"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Why don't we cut the charade and you two tell me what exactly it is you want from me?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Open, open? Homina, homina, homina? Open Pit barbecue sauce? / Yes. This is the sweet spot.", "c": ["Alfonso", "Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Oh, and no chitchat between songs this year. People don't watch 'Letterman' for Paul Shaffer.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Are you, like, a friend of my mom's or something? I mean, I'll tell her you said hi.", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "What's up? Do you like Wham!? 'Cause I'm kind of like the George Michael of my school.", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Definitely. My parents are away next week. You should come over. I'll be in the hot tub.", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "That's a filthy Christmas miracle.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "It's got cheese and butter and caramel. All my favorites. How did you know?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Oh, in his mind, Reagan is still president. / You lucky bastard.", "c": ["Dick", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Hey, maybe I'll compromise. I'll go to the party, cut off my foot, and drink all I want!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Shut the doors. Some people need to learn about Christmas.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Although I did kind of change everything forever.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Jack, you laced those up like a professional. / Good for you! / Nice to have some positive reinforcement, isn't it?", "c": ["Dick", "Margaret", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "In my case, they're just stating the facts. I do look like the Arrow shirt man, I did lace up my skates professionally, and I did do a fabulous job finishing my muffin. You wish you were in my family.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Let's all meet down at the soda shop while this country turns into Mexico.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "You give me 10 minutes with the Lemon family, and I'll have them tearing at each other like drag queens at a wig sale.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "That is not a Christmas tree. It's a way to lure tourists into the basement to buy $20 salads.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "I am gonna have the fried onion tower for two... for one!", "c": ["Margaret"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "See, Mother? Not all species eat their young.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Really? Life is too short? Because your life seems endless.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "It's about getting drunk and hugging your cousin until your mom says, 'Frank, enough.'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Is this a culture where toplessness is common?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "We should go downstairs and chop down the big tree! / Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Chop it down! / No! No, wait!", "c": ["Frank", "Everyone", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Because the Lemons are not what they appear to be. I mean, I may be heavy furniture, but I did a pretty good job raising you.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Wouldn't be a Lemon party without old Dick.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "We were a little embarrassed, Liz.", "c": ["Margaret"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Are you taking a stand now by not giving us grandchildren? / Oh, you want grandchildren, Margaret? Why don't you ever bother Mitch about that? / Because he's 17! / He's 40!", "c": ["Margaret", "Liz", "Mitch"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "What? Oh, my God. The accident. I hit the tree! No, don't remember. Oh, I'm so old!", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Thank you, Elizabeth Lemon! You are so self-centered, young lady! You didn't even offer to pay for this dinner. I'm on a fixed income!", "c": ["Margaret"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Bingo.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "I had a couple of drinks before the meeting. Hold that, Kenneth. This is a flask. So y'all probably shouldn't be listening to me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "You know why I stay with you, Dick?! Yes, I do know. Because I have nothing to give another man! / 'Cause you have no income of your own.", "c": ["Margaret", "Dick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "Tomorrow night I'm gonna take you to a cathouse. / I hate cats. / You'll learn to love them.", "c": ["Colleen", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Ludachristmas"}, {"t": "We're trying to buy the largest cable network in Northern Europe. And if we do do that, it'll be huge.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "What about you, huge doodoo?", "c": ["German"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Detlef, that is hilarious. Bavarians are so stingy!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "There is an 8 o'clock showing of 'Fred Claus'.", "c": ["CC"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "also I have a star that my aunt named after me, although that was recently downgraded to a gas giant", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Lemon, wanting someone to actually be part of your life -- I've never had that before.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Sure. Wait for that, and your first home will be in the floating city of New Chicago.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Tracy, your father is here. My father? Okay, that may have been a dream.", "c": ["Unknown", "Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I know a good site that's dirty without sacrificing story. It's by women for women.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "And I bought some land in the ninth ward after Katrina. I'm leasing it back to the government as a prison. Ka-ching!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Even Frank owns that chicken ranch in Nevada. He thought he was buying a whorehouse.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Oh, if you're interested, AJ's also selling a speedboat and a truck full of cigarettes.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "The machine is mankind's madness and disfigurement. Industry castrates art. The only honesty is in suicide.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "The founding fathers never intended for the poor to live into their 40s.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Interrogation bear!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "So many different types of sparrows!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I honestly don't know how Kelly Ripa does it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I have thing that night. I have a thing that night.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the devil's temperature.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Ken, this is New York, the big easy. Live a little!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "That's why my wife and I stopped using a 'safe word.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Regrets are for horseshoes and handbags.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "An oasis from the vile obscenity of the human condition.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Call AJ. But ask for 'Mike.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "'Cause an apartment never waits till you get in the shower then steals the necklace your mother gave you.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "You know what we've never done, Grizz? Fight each other!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "and this betting parlor in the Pennsylvania coal mining country is exactly half the distance between my office and yours.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Well, technically, that corner is exactly halfway, but I'm not going over there.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I missed so many weddings, funerals, karate demonstrations. Birthdays, Lilith fairs.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna love you like my boss is watching.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Smack around nosy out-of-towners. Also, we have a lovely doll museum.", "c": ["Local"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "If you're not reading the bible in German, you're not getting the real versteckte Bedeutung of it.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Your last name is weird.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "People from my old life will pass through town. They won't even recognize me. They'll just say, 'thanks, pap,' and then they'll buy some of my cider.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Oh, my god! I'm in looooove!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "And I don't know why I lied to you guys about having read that book. I'm just nervous. Anyway, I didn't read 'The Lovely Bones.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "We're all white.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Just ask anyone in my building. Except Raheem. I turned him in to homeland security. By accident.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Did you know they replace the Pips every five years, just like Menudo?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "The germans are here! I am going through something right now!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Mr. Donaghy is not in the positions to worry himself this occurrence. But your bussiness makings are much importance to his heart.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I just bought a German television studio. That's what I call a country breakfast.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "It's so quaint. It's strange we didn't get any ham.", "c": ["CC"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Love... a urine mirage in a desert of fear.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "You rode the brown serpent.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "One, if I found any MacKenzies living up here, I would kill them.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I also went to a PG-13 movie. I-I bought a pair of sunglasses. I tried a Jewish doughnut.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I'd always been told that New York was the 21st century city of Sodom. And look what's happened. I've become one of them. I've been sodomized.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I bought a German television studio today.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I bought a black apartment.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I'll just tell Don Geiss that I let a subordinate with an unaccredited theater tech degree do a billion-dollar handshake deal", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "I missed the vote on a bill to legalize recreational whale torture.", "c": ["CC"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Our belief that sex is a competition.", "c": ["CC"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "Who's gonna help me tell white people apart?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "If you blow out the kitchen wall, you can make a very nice breakfast nook.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "there's an 11:45 and I was misinformed about the time", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Episode 210"}, {"t": "20 milfs, 50 eighth-grade boys, no rules.", "c": ["unknown_writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "She had too much champagne, and a monkey knocked her into some quicksand. It could happen anywhere.", "c": ["unknown_writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "uh,buh duh jee jee je...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "'that guy can eat my poo.'", "c": ["newspaper quote"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I wasn't even working that day.", "c": ["unknown_writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "This is bad. Like,lose you job bad.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "That's pretty grim,pete.", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I'm stuck!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Deborah and shauna squaring off at erection cove.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Then I'll be at erection cove.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "have her do her indian cab driver impression. She--she really pulls it off.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "The critics said that same thing about shakespeare. Yeah,but shakespeare never had a confessional shower sponsored by dove pro-age.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "It has sex,lies,puberty, betrayal,relay races.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Someone put too many farts in this engine! It's about to explode!", "c": ["TV_character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "It's farting! It's farting!", "c": ["TV_character"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "So step aside, randy quaid.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I think he forgot that you're a person. Yeah!", "c": ["Liz", "unknown_writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Zalutha... you've kept it tight. Heidi... we no longer want to hit that.", "c": ["MILF_Island_host"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Oh,really mature,guys!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "A couple of fat pervert losers.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "We're the two biggest dirtbags around here. They're gonna try to blame us.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "My shirt is caught on what feels like a very sharp... mechanism. Ooh,maybe if I can get the shirt off.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I know toofer would never use the word 'poo,' so it's not him.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "The game... is about...to change!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "You and jack donaghy are the cause of my jawline acne!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "That class 'a' moron? Unfortunately.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "That guy can eat my poo.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I didn't know it was hot in assholevania.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "You apple-faced goon!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "My only other classmate was named gilly. He'd fallen through the ice as a child and was technically dead for 57 minutes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "They taught us to sweep sawdust so we could find work at a mill.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "while gilly plays with himself in the corner.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I thought we had a dirtbag alliance!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "This is from american eagle!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I mean,one of my implants exploded... and I didn't even ask to get off the catapult.", "c": ["Deborah"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "The stress of this is making me awful sleepy.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "The stress of this is making me awful sleepy.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "No,they're not real, unfortunately.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Miss lemon,your eyes look like my uncle's after he would drink from the air-conditioner.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Chocolate,chocolate, chocolate! Aack!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Like my cousin steven after he went to music college, it will come out.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Mrs. Stutterworth, stutterfingers... stuttermilk pancakes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "When I was born, I had a malformed extra baby foot extending from my actual foot. They think maybe i ate my twin.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "When I was born, I had a malformed extra baby foot extending from my actual foot. They think maybe i ate my twin.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "that attached to a headgear.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Gilly chewed through his headgear.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "This is the speaking banana. Everyone will get a chance to speak,and only then will we make our decision.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Look at his light eyes. They're freaky like a wolf!", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "It's hot,it's loud, there's no pizza. It's like miami.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Needless to say i grumbled about you to anyone who would listen.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "And you don't look good in jeans from behind.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Soccer moms,nascar dads, white-collar pervs, and the obese.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I'm sure the person who said it probably didn't mean it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I g-guess I'll always b-b-b-be that k-k-k-k-k-k- k-k-k-k-k-", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I--I didn't mean any of it. I'm sorry I said you could eat my poo.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "No onion rings? Ugh,this place can eat my poo!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "I made up all that stuff about the extra baby foot too. I made that up--that was to make you feel better.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "Heel,toe,lemon. Heel,toe.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Milf Island"}, {"t": "So it doesn't turn into another giant sausage fest.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "What's the Committee to Reinvade Vietnam?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "No, C. Nor and I had a falling-out after I switched to another dojo.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Also I'm saving that money for new humidifiers. The same model that's keeping Larry King alive.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Food network doesn't have a news show.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Thank you, mayor Bloomberger.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Stern rules! Baba booey!", "c": ["Random person"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "And Dateline predator. / Exonerated Dateline predator.", "c": ["Jack", "Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Like the Giuliani campaign.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "when I say subway, you say hero. / - Subway. - Hero?", "c": ["Jack", "Jonathan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "We're like Ross and Rachel, but just not gay.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "She told me that her last boyfriend was Asian. And that crap doesn't start until college.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "He was a major tv star in the '40s, '50s and the fall of 1972", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Son of a married couple, Bucky Bright!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the lord's name.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "That's Republican-- we count those.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "we didn't have any of those shirts with words on 'em, or dungarees, or anything like that", "c": ["Bucky"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "And an inside monogrammed pocket, you know, for your opium pipe and your switchblade.", "c": ["Bucky"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "400% of my sodium? I should not be eating these.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "the bravest New Yorker since Bernie Goetz", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "It's the Stanley cup, honey. It's hockey's ultimate prize. And me and it, we're teaming up to fight illiteracy.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "I've watched seven different people die in subway stations.", "c": ["Unnamed character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "All I could think about was Derek Jeter. And it was like, check this out, Jeter, you think you're better than me?", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "They should call this thing 'The Weeks.'", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "I only have Spanish delis in my neighborhood.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Does hot support cold? Does rain support the earth?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "If I paid taxes, I sure would.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Lincoln was a Republican? / Actually, today's Republican party would be unrecognizable to Lincoln.", "c": ["Tracy", "Dotcom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Dotcom, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is... off-putting. / I guess that's why I'm still single.", "c": ["Jack", "Dotcom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "No, no, no, two guys'd get-- hey, my old dressing room.", "c": ["Bucky"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "For five bucks I will.", "c": ["Bucky"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "What, are you gearing up for swimsuit season?", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "We used to call this 'the jew room.'", "c": ["Bucky"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "because this Indian guy that he was working for...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "except one gigantic lesbian. / Who is Conan O'Brien, and why is she so sad?", "c": ["Bucky"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "So many different kind of buckets I wanted to own. Buckets.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Black, Jewish, one eye, a white wife. It was a big tent back then, Tracy.", "c": ["Sammy Davis Jr."], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Social conservative, fiscal liberal.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "I almost joined the marines once.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Warming your jeans in the morning? / That's right, and it feels good.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "My cologne is distilled from the bilge water of Rupert Murdoch's yacht.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Not thinking is what makes America great.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Like a killer whale going nuts on his trainer at sea world.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Love is wearing makeup to bed and going downstairs to the Burger King to poop, and hiding alcohol in perfume bottles.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "That's exactly what they say it's like when you freeze to death.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "You wanted to do something private with another man, it wasn't gay. No, it was just two men celebrating each other's strength.", "c": ["Bucky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "That was never your problem.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "That was never your problem.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "You know a stripper offered to give me a squeezer last night. A white stripper.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "My fellow blackmericans-- / Can I just say black Americans? There's no such thing as blackmericans.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "To build a 200 foot high wall to keep Mexico out. And he also hated the estate tax.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "To build a 200 foot high wall to keep Mexico out. And he also hated the estate tax.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "black people, don't vote. Just don't do it. In the amount of time it'd take for you to vote, you could play three games of pool.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "I'm Tracy Jordan, and I improve this message.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Winston dialed 911 with his beak and said fire, but only because he didn't know the word for rape.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "That's why G.E.'s going to be introducing the pocket deep fryer.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Well, when we sobered up, we realized we'd eaten the peacock and we put the ham in pat weaver's office.", "c": ["Bucky"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "If you're gonna make something beautiful, you gotta make a mess of it first.", "c": ["Bucky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Chinatown to pick up some human growth hormones so that Mr. Jordan's tigers don't realize that he's aging", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "The mighty ducks are mad at me because I left the Stanley cup on a water taxi.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Boy, that's one mouthy sandwich girl, isn't it?", "c": ["Bucky"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "It's still daytime. And we're inside.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's totally biased against the Irish, you know.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "Ah, damn, it's the wrong track. It's stupid express.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "You'll be back, Liz Lemon. You'll be back. / You'll be back, dummy.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Subway Hero"}, {"t": "I'd have my assistant sit on his naughty stool if he didn't love it so much.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Fire Island, really? I'd love to come out.", "c": ["Devon Banks"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "The head of the Stress Ball division hanged himself.", "c": ["Mr. Geiss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "I want my mother to know this before she dies, so she goes to her grave a defeated woman.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "I guess that rules out the Federal Reserve.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "You look like Gene Simmons had sex with a basset hound!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "First of all, the subject of the email was 'Check this out!'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "I was gonna live with the gorillas.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Is it the 8 of diamonds? Nope.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Pay attention to me! I'm inconsolable.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "His flute.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "If I'm such a bad dad, why are we all dancing?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Everyone knows the only thing we should be ashamed of is our bodies.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Like be a senator. Or a wizard.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Eureka! What is it, Tra? We should call Eureka! She always has good ideas.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "For devoting their lives to the jungle and its noble inhabitants.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Uh... hugging... so ethnic.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Geiss has stacked the Board of Directors with the most reliable collection of sycophantic yesmen this side of an Al Franken book signing.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "His golf cronies, his Army buddies, various unemployable family members, and his hunting dogs.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Why am I smelling self-tanning cream and teeth whitener?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Once they cast Clay Aiken in Spamalot, I knew it was only a matter of time for you to show up here.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "The hottest girls in New York's top boob shacks removing their brassieres.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Oh,hey there, little guy.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Sounds like soda pop. Damn it! Why is leaving your children a legacy that'll live forever so hard?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Yeah,I need to clear my thoughtcicles.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Video games or pornography!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "That's it! Make a porn video game!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "So you don't know about him accidentally selling nbc to some germans?", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "so take that,liz.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Like taking candy from one of those guys who gives out candy at gay night clubs.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Well,as enticing as that is, I'm straight now.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Look,tre, history's greatest perverts have tried: Walt disney,larry flynt, the japanese, but they can't do it because of the uncanny valley.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "I'm scared! Get me out of there!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "You're like that guy that was always jealous of mozart. Salieri? No,thank you. I already ate.", "c": ["Tracy", "Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "To get through it, I pretended he was a sandwich.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Realistically,teaching improv on cruise ships.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Executives are,like, huh-huh-huh. And I'm,like, haa.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Suck it,monkeys! I'm goin' corporate!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "let's change the subject to sucking at golf, so donaghy has something to talk about.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Well it's business drunk. It's like rich drunk. Either way,it's legal to drive.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "You suck,stan!", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Button classic? It's hip and homey.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "That's why I love jorgenson here.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Jeez,jack,offer to buy a girl dinner first. classic lemon!", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "My genius has come alive, like toys when your back is turned.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Well,I am wearing a cuffed trouser today.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Guess who's got two thumbs, speaks limited french, and hasn't cried once today? This moi.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "I know.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "You got the charm and spark of a young leona helmsley.", "c": ["Mr. Geiss"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "My god. He's a genius.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "He's like me yesterday. I hate him.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Hoo,boy,got your period?", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "And I love how she enjoys crawling into cabinets and vents and other enclosed spaces. Like behind the dryer, for instance.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "I'd marry 1,000 kathy geisses to be ceo.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "It's like when christian won project runway even though rami was clearly the better draper.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "I hate-respect you. And I you.", "c": ["Jack", "Devon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "I hate-respect you. - And I you", "c": ["Jack", "Banks"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "But he is,in fact, in a diabetic coma, which could've been avoided by what we call 'eating.'", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "But he is, in fact, in a diabetic coma, which could've been avoided by what we call 'eating.'", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Oh,damn it. That shot was just a placebo. I was hoping this was psychological.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Oh,I'd love to, but we have no way of knowing where the heart is. See,every human is different.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "It was jorgenson's fault!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Is it 4-1-1 or 9-1-1?", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Because I don't think i can return this 'cause I got business sick all over it when I got home.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "I tried to call you, but not on a phone, so you may not have heard me.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "I didn't hear hand washing!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Succession"}, {"t": "Hillary Clinton is president, sir! I thought I would just try to scare you out of it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "This morning, I had to cut my own cantaloupe.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "12! You've got to wake up, please!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Marcus Schenkenberg was there. Who?", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "You were using your treadmill? Yes, and, yes, Pete, I use it every day.", "c": ["Pete", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "JetFun. Is that the one with the footbaths? Oh, no, that's AirBike. They also have in-flight pornos and NBC news. JetFun's the one that hands out fresh popcorn.", "c": ["Pete", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "some Rust Belt tramp answered the phone", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I want to be top dog for once instead of just... dog.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "For once, I am not gonna be Jan Brady. I'm gonna be Marcia, damn it. Oh, my nose! My bad!", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Once a year, the Teamsters go to this Italian sandwich shop in Brooklyn. No one knows what it's called or where it is. It's a Teamster secret.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "And the dipping sauce. Oh, joy! God bless us, every one!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "By the way, you know who hates unicorns? Mark Wahlberg.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I've been sleeping with the Cindy Crawford of corporations for the last 22 years. What am I supposed to do? Just lie down with some skank like 3M?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Good God, I'd rather work for an American car company than jump on that sinking ship.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I will remember you? Will you remember me? Doobie-doo, doobie-doo? Don't let your life pass you by?", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I got a company-wide e-mail from the new CEO that was just a link to cats wearing bow ties.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "12? Did I hit 12? I wanted, uh... 4012, which is 52, where I work. Business.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Since my surgery, I have to eat slowly or my insides might explode.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Give me it! It's like knives!", "c": ["Tracy", "Lutz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Where's my mac and cheese?! But as far as Liz Lemon knows, her sandwich never came.", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I'm pretty tired from playing as hard as I work.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "You know, maybe we hit that barbecue place you puked at. You'll have to be more specific.", "c": ["Floyd", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Oh, somebody get me out of this dress! I can't breathe!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Where's my sandwich?! Lutz made us do it! No, it was Frank. No, it was you! I'm a patsy?", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy", "Frank", "Lutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Please ask my permission before you quote me, Kenneth.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I don't know how, but you're gonna get me another sandwich, or I'm gonna cut your face up so bad, you'll have a chin. You'll all have chins!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Failure.", "c": ["Elevator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "There was actually a tornado in Cleveland last week. Destroyed an entire city block... three bowling alleys, a liquor store, and the liquor-store museum.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I haven't stayed up this late since college. And behind this trapdoor, more Orcs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I read that you guys are getting an lkea. Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it. We've just been burned before.", "c": ["Liz", "Floyd"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Now turn and look back at me. Attaboy. Eat it up, Cleveland.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I even stopped to catch a snowflake with my tongue, but, evidently, that's some sort of signal in Chelsea.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I was hit by lightning as a child. They made a movie about me.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "a tornado hit downtown Detroit, putting out several fires.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "The poor guy got Lemoned... hard.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "No, Jenna, I did not come back from the bathroom and hand him my underwear. That's how I met that mobster.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "You with the sport coat, you're the girl.", "c": ["Teamster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "After my junior year at Oberlin, we road-tripped to South by Southwest.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "We're not an airline anymore. Wait, wait, wait. One storm? That's all it takes? We're still gonna make popcorn. Just no more airplanes.", "c": ["Airline Employee", "Floyd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "A Chinese character that she thinks means 'peace,' but it really means 'I have chlamydia'?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "This is more important than me getting home or my partner meeting with Peter Venkman.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "And I can't have booze because I'm on antibiotics after having some skanky club sex. He's on antibiotics because he lost his lucky penny and assumed it fell in his ear again.", "c": ["Frank", "Lutz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Your surgery was for an undescended testicle. Wrong again. It was for two undescended testicles.", "c": ["Frank", "Lutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Peter Venkman... That's from 'Ghostbusters'! You used 'Ghostbusters' for evil!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I'm the Michael Clayton of Cleveland.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "Well, I hope your car blows up. I'll move to Cleveland when you get that lkea. Never!", "c": ["Liz", "Floyd"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "You are vindictive, Liz Lemon!", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "This smells just like Hill People Milk. I've been drinking this since I was a baby!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "You never know when someone's going to slip into a coma and leave you regretting all the things you didn't say or get in writing from the company's lawyers.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "What I'm trying to say is you're... young and you still haven't blown it completely, so don't... start now.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "That's sort of a clich\u00e9. You're sort of a clich\u00e9.", "c": ["TSA Agent", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "You're choosing a sandwich over a guy. Hmm. That is less clich\u00e9d.", "c": ["TSA Agent"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I can have it all!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "God, lady, you're eating foil!", "c": ["Bystander"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "I don't want your car to explode and I don't want you to go into a coma and I don't want to stab you in the face with a giant fork. What? Oh, that's not you. I've been threatening a lot of people lately.", "c": ["Liz", "Floyd"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "And I wolfed my Teamster sub for you. Wait, no. Is that a saying?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Sandwich Day"}, {"t": "What are you in charge of exactly? We're sharing the load. It's a bit of Homeland Security... We still have that?", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "...extreme weather preparedness, and the War on the Poor. You mean the War on Poverty. Yeah, okay, let's go with that.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "The cryogenecists are already sharpening their head saws.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Hey, don't knock my Sabor de Soledad. I found a prize in here the other day... I hope.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Liz Lemon, do these look like wizard nipples to you?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Well, I don't know. Are the lightning bolts supposed to be going in or out?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "The working title is 'Goregasm... colon... The Legend of Dong-Slayer.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Yeah, you fixulate this!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Emotions. You having your woman times?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Why don't I cross off the days like people in the movies?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "I think you're supposed to take all of them, like, in a row.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "But I have been sexually active since I was 25.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Bad news, archers. President Carter has decided to boycott the Moscow Games. Peanut farmer.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Peanut farmer.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Saboteur!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Donny? Parcell. I thought you'd be coming out of that door.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Donny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "I don't like to think of this President as a lame duck. I think of him as a lame eagle.", "c": ["Cooter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "The ceiling appears to be leaking. No, it's not. We've looked into it, and it's not.", "c": ["Jack", "Cooter"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Do you need a pen? Nope, I've kind of gotten used to it.", "c": ["Cooter", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "We're not in a recession.", "c": ["Cooter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "I know, I'm not drunk, either, but we'll manage.", "c": ["Cooter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Mother!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Not you, Grizz. You're doing great. I memorized all my lines at home.", "c": ["Tracy", "Grizz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "I don't need another Judi Dench situation.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Touch my knees-butt.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "I can't support that. 'Dam' is a swear word.", "c": ["Government official"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "I'd support it if instead of dam, we called it a God finger.", "c": ["Government official"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Well, that's one theory.", "c": ["Government official"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "We need hope. We need change. We need experience. We need pens.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Did someone say 'Donny'? No. No. Oh. It's pretty muffled in there.", "c": ["Donny", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "That's the only thing I know how to say in Chinese. 41/2 hours, Hee-Haw.", "c": ["Donny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "It's hard for me to watch 'American Idol,' because I have perfect pitch. Oh. Ew.", "c": ["Jenna", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "It's hard for me to watch 'American Idol' 'cause there's a water bug on my channel changer.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "I haven't felt this energized at work since the two weeks when they tried to teach us Farsi.", "c": ["Cooter"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Jackie Boy.", "c": ["Geiss (via phone)"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "He brings good things to light!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Hey, the pens are here!", "c": ["Government worker"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "U.S.A!", "c": ["Government worker"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "As my mom used to say, 'You never want this to happen.'", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "You had a three-way with Roseanne and Tom Arnold.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "That was two years ago.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "like Erin Brockovich or Sarah Connor.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "They're written in ketchup, dirty rock, leak water.", "c": ["Cooter"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! They're caps, nothing but caps!", "c": ["Cooter"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "That's not my name! My name is James Reilly! Cooter Berger? What do you think I am, a cartoon dog?", "c": ["Cooter/James"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Cooter because I look like a turtle and Berger because he saw me eating a hamburger one time.", "c": ["James/Cooter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "It wasn't even a hamburger. It was a sandwich.", "c": ["James/Cooter"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Pre... before. Natal... ruined.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "if it's a boy, we're gonna name him Morpheus like that guy in 'The Matrix.' If it's a girl... I used to boff this chick named Judy, and I would love to honor her.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Morpheus hears everything that you say.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "You must have been such a pretty monkey.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "You must have been such a pretty monkey.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "a nonlethal chemical weapon that would, 'reduce enemy soldiers' combat posture by making them totally gaybones for each other.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Like eating a burrito before sex.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Run, Kenneth, run!", "c": ["Background characters"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "I did certain things for you in bed that you were going to reciprocate. But then we broke up before my birthday, so you owe me.", "c": ["C.C."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "No crying in my bath tonight.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Apparently, Sabor de Soledad gets its special tangy flavor from evaporated bull semen.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Oh, that explains your hair's thickness and shine.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "The Duffy men use those like ATMs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "The President gave me a nickname. 'The Jacker.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "I feel weird. Let's do this.", "c": ["Government officials"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Frank, you've been in your office for three months. What?! Yes! I'm gonna be a billionaire!", "c": ["Tracy", "Frank"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Cooter"}, {"t": "Hello, pussycat. Oh, really? A lot of ladies get right in the car after that line, you creepy piece of... Jack!", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "That information is classified at least until Cheney dies. Which is going to be a long time from now. That man is mostly metal.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Devin is the worst. It's like he doesn't even care when we should have cake for people whose birthdays are on the weekend. The Friday before. At lunch.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider them erotica. That man can wear a sweater.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "You see, only thing Kathy and I need assistance with is deciding which John Mayer song to do it to.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Well, you know what they say about rumors, Jack. They make a 'rue' out of 'more' and 'S.'", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Don't even think about talking to her when her soaps are on. Seriously, she will bite you.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "If there's one thing I learned from you, Jack, it's keep your friends close and your enemies so close that you're almost kissing.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I still don't know how that advertised Tokyo University.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "But I'm gonna use this $300 to buy us all some boots for me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "My video game is selling through the rizznoof! Well, how far through the 'rizznoof'? Whoa, that's not slang. He has a speech impediment.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I think I did it alone... and this check is the prizznoof. Now that one was just him being obnoxious.", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "The last time, it took me 22 years. But I know so much more now this time. I think I can do it in nine.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "With a little hard work, I'll be back to V.P. status before I'm 60. And if my home evaluation goes well I will be a mother by 50. We really can have it all.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "How often do you entertain gentlemen sex guests? Oh, boy, that's uh... Once a year maybe? But I'd be open to cutting that down.", "c": ["Bev", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "You ever run a webcam ring outta here, Liz? Gentlemen tell you what to do, you do it? At first with some feigned hesitation?", "c": ["Bev"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I was arrested once in Germany for public nudity. I thought it was a topless beach. It was a shipyard.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Could be. Or it could be my annual sex guest.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Aw, come on, it's Movie Party Thursday. I brought in my tape of circus accidents. Please, A lion eats a sad clown.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Please, just be normal sauce for one day.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I mean, I don't do anything for Yolanda and she sends me those headless dolls.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Can I hide this box of penis pasta in your dressing room?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "She touched me in my swimsuit area. It made me very uncomfortable. It's not at all erotic and fun, like when men do it to women.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "How far would I have to let her go to get my job back? Are we talking over the shirt? Frontsies, backsies? Or would I really have to give her my gift?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I thought you said nine years? I was promoted again this morning. I'm now Director of Mail Systems.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Is it so wrong that I just want to have one of these to grow up and resent me? Oh, you will.", "c": ["Liz", "Bev"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I know what you're hinting at, Liz Lemon. I should get my rap career going again.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want to have. So now, Manny... Tomorrow I show up for work dressed as a Mexican wrestler.", "c": ["Jack", "Manny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Banks, you've got to get a hold of yourself. You've got a company to run. Oh, I'm running it. I have a plan to quadruple profits by the year 2015. How are you possibly going to do that? The old-fashioned way, Jack. I'm gonna shut it down.", "c": ["Jack", "Devin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I'm gonna shut the whole thing down for two years. I mean, imagine how badly people will want light bulbs then.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "It's just 'G' now, Jack. I sold the 'E' to Samsung. They're 'Samesung' now.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.79, "im": 9.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Three of my nine siblings were adopted. And someday, I'm gonna find them.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Hey, Rick. I'm Fred. Rick is the other black guy. Happens to everyone, right, Bev? Yeah, happens all the time to my black husband.", "c": ["Liz", "Fred", "Bev"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I first met Liz in 1993. She was fresh out of college and I had just broken up with O.J. Simpson. And can I just say something? Total gentleman.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Then who were those kids you were yelling at the other day? Those were some child actors who had lied about being able to breakdance.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Actually, I lived with Liz while I was separated from my wife. In a platonic way. But I haven't lived there for a couple months now because I've been at an anger management treatment center 'cause I shot one of my co-workers with an arrow.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I think it's a circus in the Philippines. The lion goes nuts and attacks this older clown. How did we start talking about this? Did you bring it up?", "c": ["Frank", "Bev"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I'm going upstairs to doink Kathy Geiss.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone involved in making my video game the most profitable thing since the war on terror. Yes, I am provocative.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Frank, for all your hard work, please accept this set of solid gold nunchucks. I will use these only for good.", "c": ["Tracy", "Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Petey Pete! For letting us use the sound booth Please accept this chinchilla coat. Wow. You're gonna get so much nice-nice in that you're gonna have to grow an another ding...", "c": ["Tracy", "Pete"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Now you look out for my girl, Liz Lemon 'Cause me and her go way back like spinal cords and car seats. That's not really an expression.", "c": ["Tracy", "Bev"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Do you know what imperative means? Tell me, tell me! Important. It means important.", "c": ["Liz", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Mr. Banks... look how many pushups I can do.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Paid his way through Princeton by working the day shift at that graveyard and the graveyard shift at that Days Inn.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Thank God I don't have your biological need for children. That would make success impossible. Thanks.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "And now it hinges on how far I'm willing to go with a woman in Dora the Explorer panties that were clearly made for an obese child.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "No way, the best part of soap operas is when someone's twin interrupts a wedding. Or somebody pulls a gun at the fitness center.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "She's wondering where my strawberry mouth is.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "What? You mean the nursery! We gotta get this stuff back to the rental place by 5:00.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Rick, what are you doing? Bitch, my name is Fred.", "c": ["Liz", "Fred"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I work in the mailroom. Kathy, Bev and I are just friends. Kathy's the new CEO of our company. Bev, you better run. She's surprisingly strong.", "c": ["Jack", "Kathy", "Bev"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "'Unsatisfactory'? Are you okay, Bev? You had quite a fall there. Ah, I'm Bev. I'm here to do Liz's adoption evaluation.", "c": ["Liz", "Bev"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I get a do-over. No, we have to take her to a hospital. 20 minutes. Just give me 20 minutes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I'm gonna give Kathy the full soap opera while you try to trick a lady with a head injury. We might not be the best people. But we're not the worst? Graduate students are the worst.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "She reminds me of my own mom. Tough love, consistency, a little moustache in a certain light.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I thought you were at the fitness center with your twin?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "You know you're the only woman I've ever really loved.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "I've been paranoid ever since that incident with the weather machine.", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "Check this out. I'm gonna sue you! I'm going to sue the entire city of New York! I'm gonna sue you! You can't sue me, I'm already being sued. Double indemnity!", "c": ["Devin", "Various"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "No, I just like seeing you in there.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Do Over"}, {"t": "It's Chatterbox. They want me to go to the zoo and cover the birth of a baby seal.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Are you familiar with the country of Gjelgjiughm? Oh, took home to gold, silver, and bronze in skeet shooting during the 2028 Olympics. - No. - Then no.", "c": ["President", "Dwayne"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Oh, took home to gold, silver, and bronze in skeet shooting during the 2028 Olympics. - No. - Then no.", "c": ["Dwayne", "President"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "You throw one bean in the air, two come back in your face.", "c": ["President"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Have you ever seen his hands? They are soft as marshmallows, pillowy as a duchess.", "c": ["Angela Honig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Also, my hands are out of frame on purpose. My hands are my best feature.", "c": ["President"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Hey, is there, like, a code that wrestler's use to let each other know an injury is real? Yeah, it's... Ugh, my knee. Augh, I hurt my knee.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "You think this is the type of situation where that saying, 'add insult to injury' comes from? Yeah, probably, Bruno. Probably.", "c": ["Rocky", "Bruno"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "No, one of those popcorn kernels fell in my boot. - Damn. Lord ain't grantin' you no dignity today.", "c": ["Rocky", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "When you're not over and you get hurt, that gives the WWF an opportunity to cut you loose. - Hey! Don't talk to him like that right now. He is delicate. - I'm not delicate. I say you are delicate; You are delicate, Dewey.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ata", "Rocky", "Ata"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Pretty limited on pillow options. I'll pick you up some more. Dany doesn't believe in throw pillows. She says they just take up space.", "c": ["Rocky", "Ata", "Rocky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "These are all the same. Mm-mm. Check the neckline. Deep, deeper, and deepest. I told him go deepest. Popped pecks pay rent checks.", "c": ["Dany", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "She's supposed to be a silent partner. You said that, not me.", "c": ["Rocky", "Dany"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "My only complaint is my physical therapist keeps referring to it as 'our knee.'", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Keep up the good work, Dewey. - Okay. - Au revoir.", "c": ["Unknown", "Rocky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "You'll always have that criminology minor from Miami.", "c": ["Dany"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Actually, sir, victim was full-grown adult male. - You're just really big.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "She ain't pregnant is she? - Dad, no. Okay, good. 'Cause she drinkin' a lot for a pregnant woman.", "c": ["Rocky's father", "Rocky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "It's like a microwave that's also a radio. The presets are defrost, popcorn, and Cool 101.5?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Maybe keep it under your kitchen sink.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Look, I'm not gonna say I'm disappointed, but, uh, I was really expecting a roasted pig for this occasion.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "I believe in an unbalanced portfolio. Yeah. Risk and aggression... Now that is what the Macho Man is all about, baby. Yeah, dig it.", "c": ["Dany", "Macho Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Like, I purposely didn't eat pig yesterday 'cause I thought for sure that we were gonna have pig today. Yeah, Fa'amalo, Dewey and Dany. And sorry for asking for that plus one. She did not want to come. And there-there-there's no... There's no pig.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "So how long do we think until one of these guys splits their pants? That's why ol' Bruno always travels with a sewing kit.", "c": ["Unknown", "Bruno"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "It's like I always say, Vince doesn't send a gold-plated microwave that's also a radio to wrestlers he doesn't believe in. Oh, that's what you always say, huh?", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Come to think of it, I owe the kid a headband.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "I guess when the invite said black tie, I forgot to mention black mustache.", "c": ["Rocky", "Hulk Hogan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "I'll be honest, the bleach job is hell on my nostrils. Oh, yeah. It's hell on my eyes, too.", "c": ["Hulk Hogan", "Rocky"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "I was gonna say punchable. But, yeah, earnest is good, too.", "c": ["Hulk Hogan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "You got any lactate? My tummy ain't much for dairy. - I, uh... - Screw it. I'll hit the dance floor and blame Macho.", "c": ["Hulk Hogan", "Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Hey, how many do you think it'll take to pull me around the pool, two, maybe three?", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Don't use it. It's been recalled. Cancer stuff. Terrible product. I'm sending you a blender instead.", "c": ["Vince"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "That's so weird. Biloxi was my second choice for honeymoon destinations.", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "I like a guy with the confidence to wear pink pants.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Wait, that was your 'bad dude' look? Are those denim shorts?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Orville Redenbacher you are not.", "c": ["Farooq"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "I'ma always shoot you straight. You ain't pop worth a damn. - Straight out the gate, huh? Snap, crackle, no pop. - And you're still going. Orville Redenbacher you are not.", "c": ["Farooq", "Rocky"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "People ain't gonna give a damn till you make them give a damn.", "c": ["Farooq"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "You're the fourth man in a four-man crew. I don't think Vince is thinking about your angles.", "c": ["Farooq"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Boss, I got my time card here for you to sign. I worked one hour on Monday. Two hours on Tuesday. Wednesday was a bank holiday. Four hours on...", "c": ["Pat"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "'Raw' is like a fine-tuned Swiss watch, hmm? Timed to the second. Or better yet, like a sausage that's been stuffed full of pork to the brink of explosion.", "c": ["Vince"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Rocky, pull up your tank. Your son's wife can see your chi-chis. Everybody can see 'em. I worked hard on these babies. Ba-boom!", "c": ["Ata", "Rocky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "My cat throws up a human thumb. Is it interesting? Sure. But is it good? No. - Did that really happen? - Hey, stay focused.", "c": ["Pat", "Unknown", "Pat"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "She uses your catchphrases in her speeches. She knows all of your matches in detail, and I think, with the exception of 'Huskies,' has seen all of your movies. Is she not an animation fan or something? Because 'Huskies' was good.", "c": ["President", "Rocky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "Will you go on a coffee run for America? I'm honored, Mr. President. Thank you. But no. - Fantastic. Wait... Wait, I didn't hear that last bit.", "c": ["President", "Rocky"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "I'm honored, Mr. President. Thank you. But no. - Fantastic. Wait... Wait, I didn't hear that last bit.", "c": ["Dwayne", "President"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Rocky Sucks"}, {"t": "You probably didn't recognize me in this new page uniform.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "The old uniforms were timeless, practical, sexy.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "What? That's ridiculous. Why would I steal a file from personnel? What? No. Claire is in the lobby.", "c": ["Liz", "Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "She's like a human macarena-- something everyone did at parties in 1996.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Me-ow! You're right. That was harsh. No, no, Mi Au-- she owns the largest alternative energy company in asia.", "c": ["Liz", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Welcome to New York. Let's see-- we're using credit cards and cabs now, all the galleries have moved to Chelsea, and we're off cupcakes and we're back to doughnuts.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "but the only rule is that we all have to DJ.", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "You got wife eyes.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "I just makes me wanna pee on someone.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "It's like a owl without a graduation cap-- heartbreaking.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "or a satisfying finale to the hit NBC Television series Night Court.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Court? At night? I'm already laughing. Tell me more.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "'Crazyputty'? No. Yeah.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "giving me directions, uh, to the F train.", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "I volunteer at a thing with kids and old people.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Didn't matter if it was Scottie Pippin or the drummer for the Bodeans or someone else's boyfriend who ran a small but prestigious clowning academy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "having known Claire for a very enjoyable 20 minutes and you for what feels like infinity,", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Gosh, last time I was blindfolded was when I had to play the piano at that weird masquerade party.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "This is the sick kid you were telling us about? Oh, bless your heart. Do you like race cars?", "c": ["Night Court cast member"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "First I find that quarter this morning-- um... I lost a quarter. Earlier.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Happy birthday dear jackie bear", "c": ["Singer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "I'm his life coach, Esmeralda Fitzmonster.", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "I know, isn't it funny?", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Did she do sexy birthday or mannequin who comes to life?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Well, it was quick and in the meat locker. That's okay, right?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Emotionally unstable women are... fantastic in the sack. I mean, their self-loathing translates into...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Houston's too humid. What about this died thing?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Chained to the radiator in her hotel room. It was her idea.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Just gotta hack it. Just gotta hack it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "My boy Ken has written a masterpiece, and trust me, I use that word a lot.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "You know, he really did wanna come, but he couldn't work the schedule out.", "c": ["Cast member"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Well, I would have been nominated too, but I was just too hot to be taken seriously!", "c": ["Markie Post"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Well, that wouldn't be a problem now, would it?", "c": ["Cast member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "This is worse than the original finale.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Like I was at this club last week called... Chili's, and I met this smoking guy.", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "He was wearing this shirt, and I could totally see his nips.", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "You guys should go to Aquarium. It's this new night club, and all the women are in a glass room in the center of the dance floor, and all the guys just watch and feed them.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "That sounds so hot!", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "They're trying to make him wear a coat that's different than his other coat.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Markie, will you do me the honor of becoming my fake wife so we can get our money and get the hell outta here?", "c": ["Harry Anderson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "I made you a white pizza and a pot roast. Because I just think you're... so amazing!", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Funny how I wasn't invited. Or had you forgotten about my three episode arc as public defender Sparky Monroe?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "You were the werewolf lawyer. I can prove my client is innocent. If only it weren't a full mooon! TO BE CONTIMUED.....", "c": ["Cast member", "Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Uh, that idiot werewolf paid for my hand reduction surgery, okay?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "And my teeth are getting loose!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "I'd like to suck that ring right off your toe.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Don't make that angry muppet face at him.", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "And he was not that clown. He was the head clowning instructor.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "So why don't we just get this three-way on?", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Password? What?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "How 'bout if Heroes had this new character, and his superpower was, like, close up magic?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "then the show must go onward.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Or recording our intimate moments and leaving them for Liz on her voicemail.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Are we some sexless couple that just sits in silence at a fish place on like a Sunday night at 5:00?", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Crazyputty! Hey, g-guy in the really cool, cool hat has a gun.", "c": ["Liz", "Bystander"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, it's almost a full mooon!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "I hereby declare the new page uniforms at NBC illegal!", "c": ["Harry Anderson"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "I refuse to play the role of Mac in universal's upcoming Night Court movie.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "I mean, the hookers are not funny. There's a lot more sickly homeless people and terrified college students.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "Well, I don't know how to decline a call.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "That's a good look for you. A little, uh, Lewis Carroll hair.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cast Of Night Court"}, {"t": "I'm in connecticut, i haven't eaten, and i'm stressed about an \"away toilet\" situation.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Is this potpourri or chips? 'Cause i'm gonna try to eat it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Of course,that was back when Jet was actually about jet ownership. That magazine took a weird turn.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "These are not chips.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Because of my severe agoraphobia and my debilitating wealth...", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "The world of fashion, society, art collecting and yelling...", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Why isn't there any good art in here? Come on!", "c": ["Unknown guest"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Funny story,i was only wearing that because the fire alarm went off while i was getting a haircut.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I keep one chair empty, to represent our unfulfilled hopes and dreams. I'm just kidding, eliot spitzer's hooker couldn't make it.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "McEnroe, give me a break. I'm on it. 77th and amsterdam, 68th and columbus, 125th and president clinton boulevard", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Also,don't over think it, sara lee,frozen, unbelievable.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "You know my two sons, tracy,jr. And george foreman?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "This is voodoo,ken! Those two are up to something.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I know i was a handful when my family moved from our farm house to that militia camp in the woods.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "the life-sized tracy jordan sex doll. They're selling like hotcakes in japan.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I thought that was just a tagline for my movie,death bank.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "It's like picasso not painting, or bruce willis not combing action and rock harmonica.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Here's the pitch, wind power, bandwidth,chinese market. Oh,god.", "c": ["Gavin", "Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "And i was pulled onstage once to dance at a bruce springsteen concert.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "you can run for political office Without having to pretend to be a fundamentalist.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I wonder if carl here might say good night to you for me? Carl? Good night,liz. I hope to see you again soon.", "c": ["Gavin", "Carl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Terrorist attacks, cloverfieldmonsters. I can't do it,because my head is too big for the helmet.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "It is. Wow,you have,like, dog ears.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Listen,i only took that napkin because i wrapped some chicken in it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Well... This must be what the kids call \"a booty call.\" I haven't been out of the house since 2004, and even i know the kids don't call it that anymore.", "c": ["Liz", "Gavin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I'll send a helicopter to take you to the train station.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "What the what?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "My kids are going to kill me!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "After years of inbreeding, the pigs are getting violent. And the pig shield around the house has worn thin.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Well,that would be great if pigs weren't excellent swimmers.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "He asked if we were involved, i said you used to have a thing for me, but you were getting over it. That is what's happening,right?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I just wish i could start a relationship about 12 years in, When you really don't have to try anymore and you can just sit around together and goof on tv shows, And then go to bed without anybody trying any funny business.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "If i were dating a man, he would be the top of my list with michael jordan, denzel washington,taye diggs... God,do i have a black thing?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "you're going to work this thing like a chinese gymnast. Wear something tight, force a smile, and lie about your age.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Don't menendez me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "one of these benches is a priceless work of art, And the other is an ordinary bench from which to admire it. Which one's which?", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I'd be lying if i told you i never danced with a broom.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "sometimes, to feel like i have company during dinner, I dispute credit card charges on speaker phone.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "We can never leave the house, and we'd just probably sit around all weekend and watch tv. Go on.", "c": ["Gavin", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "we could never be physically intimate. I know. What woman would want all that?", "c": ["Gavin", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I did some street performing in my neighborhood this weekend.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I'm just kidding. The middle class is dying, you'll be renting forever.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "you'd have been better off putting that money in a coffee can.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Yeah. They can't seem to get anything right up there, can they?", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I'm not really an eccentric agoraphobe, I just tell people that so they won't know i'm under house arrest for tax fraud. And arson.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I miscounted the men,liz! I miscounted the men!", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "What is racketeering? No one knows,lemon.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I thought i was helping him when i let him hold my boob while we watched top chef.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I'm going to hit gavin volure harder than a bottle of whiskey in an irish wake.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "That's not me. That's the tracy jordan japanese sex doll. You can tell us apart because it's not suffering from a vitamin deficiency.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "To use as a decoy. So my greedy children will murder it, and i'll be able to escape un-mendezed.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Both families are rich, both families have two sons, and both families are staples of court tv.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "INNOVATION TOMORROW AMERICA SUNSTREAM You can't be broke, what about this house?", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Hey,glenn, that's my peanut butter. Creamy? This is-- this is not my peanut-- i'm sorry,glenn.", "c": ["Gavin", "Glenn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Damn it. I have got a serious case of the mondays.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "God,these acoustics in here are fantastic. Tomorrow,tomorrow i love you tomorrow it's only a day", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Well,what would this country be if our economy didn't allow wealthy people to take advantage of rubes?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "We parcells have eaten our share of rock soup and squirrel tail. But we've also known lean times.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Doesn't that responsibility come with a $4,000 signing bonus? Uh... Yes?", "c": ["Jack", "Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I dreamed that you would get so rich that you would leave us and get a new family. And never come back. And daddy... I don't want you to leave us. 'Cause i love you.", "c": ["Tracy's son"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Stop it. Stop patriciding!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "If anything ever happens to me, you and your brother are going to go to jail.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Also everything worked out with jenna's dad visiting. What? Oh,you weren't really around for any of that.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Cheap cholesterol medicine from canada. A paris hilton film released only in canada. Camp of approval? What does that even mean?", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Toronto was just like new york, but without all the stuff.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "taking advantage of her loneliness and her big ben-sized biological clock.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I can't believe i'm saying this to the great gavin volure, but liz lemon is too good for you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "I swear i will paint you. I am not going to real prison.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "That paint is drying weird, and now prison?", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Good god,volure, that's got to be 15, 16 feet!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "Does anyone need water or saltines? I would feel safer with some saltines.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "you'll probably be killed in the first six months of prison. but that's neither here nor there,", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "what? But you're down there. Or am i?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "You know, a lot of people look down on sex dolls. But as we saw tonight,they save lives and bring families together.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "How am i such an expert? I'm tracy jordan's sex doll.", "c": ["Tracy/Sex Doll"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Gavin Volure"}, {"t": "your credit card called. They wanna make sure you're the one Buying cream soda in bulk.", "c": ["Assistant", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "And your landlord called. And he said it is not the toilet, it's you.", "c": ["Assistant", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "That's his opinion.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Sir, this is a school for deaf girls.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "And i definitely would have gone to my reunion. But the boat i was educated on sank.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "What if something happened to her? Something bad! Then we would have a secret that bound us together.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Either a weather event is approaching, Or...", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "How come there ain't no puerto ricans on star trek?! They got every race and life-Form in the galaxy, Except for puerto ricans. What's up with that?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "What is this, the local?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "What's that flavor? It's dove age-Fighting acne cream.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Well, his french-Canadian mistress, and then me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "And i couldn't have done it without... my lucky coin.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "I wish i had a princeton reunion right now. Wipe that smug smile off michelle obama's face.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Hey, liz, how's the telescope?", "c": ["Kelsey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "You found a hairstyle that works for you, So long as it's not too humid.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "whittling, jug-Blowing, Ihop monkeys", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Jack, it's a suburb of philadelphia.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "the ugly duckling has turned into A vaguely ethnic swan.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "They have popcorn on the plane. I want to go to there.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "A beam of energy came and spoke to me During my coma. I don't know what it was. It could have been an alien. Maybe it was god. Maybe it was an unborn aztec king.", "c": ["Geiss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Grizz had to go to the optometrist. Making up words won't save you.", "c": ["Tracy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "So the standards department is telling me You can only say \"cat anus\" twice During the show, but i'm gonna fight for you. You can say it three times. Cat anus, cat anus, cat anus!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "First william f. Buckley dies, now this. Next stop impotence, right?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Why does anybody go to miami? Ass and the burgeoning art scene.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "One time i laughed at a blind guy eating spaghetti! Sometimes i pee in the shower if i'm really tired! I saw my grandparents making love once, And i didn't leave right away!", "c": ["Pilot"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "We have a lovely n.C. Wyeth museum. Actually, some meth addicts burned that place down Last august.", "c": ["Hotel clerk"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "the vietnamese immigrants took over All of those places. I wouldn't recommend going to little hanoi after dark Unless you're wearing a khan dong.", "c": ["Hotel clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "We've been a dry county since 1880. It's the one tradition that remains.", "c": ["Hotel clerk"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "But do you like methodist churches Full of vietnamese?", "c": ["Hotel clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "A ghetto mating call.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Jeesh, buy a guy a drink first.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 4.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "This place is bigger than my apartment.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "To get there, you just go Straight down ngo dinh diem boulevard Until you see a sign that says \"detour.\" Now ignore that. It's a trap.", "c": ["Hotel clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "But cocoon, and then flap, flap, flap--Butterfly.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "I don't know, kelsey. How's your mom's pill addiction?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "We called you the white haven witch.", "c": ["Kelsey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "This is a beauty mark. But you thought it was funny to say that god pooped on me.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "You brought it back!", "c": ["Kelsey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Well, i got a boat, good friends, and a trampoline. You tell me.", "c": ["Local guy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "This is mostly spit.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Still think i am \"gayer than the volleyball scene In top gun\"?", "c": ["Rob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "I'd like you to meet my wife, With whom i've raised three beautiful dogs.", "c": ["Rob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "I'm so mad, all i can do is dance.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Beers, boats, and buds. Doesn't that sound great?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "from having too much sex in it!", "c": ["Jack as Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Lemon, rich 50 is middle-Class 38, okay?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "If we didn't exist, how would people know who to vote for?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "So she can put her feet in her mouth. So can i.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Look, let's all do the diane.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "What is wrong with you?! Diane?", "c": ["Classmate", "Diane"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Next stop, kansas city.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Singing in the elevator. It's like a road trip to the sky!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Kenneth is a monster! We have to stop him!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Just to be clear, we're not making out. That would be social suicide.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "Or did you make some joke about me being impotent?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "At least i'm not 50, alone, And sitting on 2,000 business cards For a job i'm never gonna get.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "You went to a printer, didn't you? You picked out a font. You paid extra for a rush order. It was your happy, little secret.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "This studio hosted The kraft television theater in the 1950s, Where young writers like paddy chayefsky and rod serling First rose to prominence.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "We're not really best friends. We're just good friends.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "I want to go to there.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "We all have ways of coping. I use sex and awesomeness.", "c": ["Jack as Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "This is your son.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "I am not larry braverman. I repeat, i am not larry braverman! I am liz lemon's Platonic friend, jack donaghy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "You know what, suck it, you whittling ihop monkeys!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Reunion"}, {"t": "I am Dwanta Claus, and during this time of the year, I like to rip the sleeves off my jacket and put on a hat with a bell", "c": ["Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "I love Christmas because it's all about the three G's, gathering, giving, and getting loose on eggnog", "c": ["Dwayne"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "They're from the Jane Seymour for Mervyn's collection", "c": ["Ata"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "as much as I love the Radish Baby that you got me last year...", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "That doll is not right", "c": ["Ata"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Why does he have muscles on his body but not on his face?", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "But it's on hold under your name!", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, just between us, I kind of hate that Radish Baby", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Adults give gifts to kids, not the other way around", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "I see. So you don't love your mother", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "I do... not wanna know how they get oil out of them babies", "c": ["Andre"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "You are like a little P\u00e8re Noel", "c": ["Andre"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "You should get her a hot tub, a big one, you know, one that we can all fit in", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Last year I got us matching diamond tennis bracelets", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Oh, make sure it's a big one, you know, one that we could all fit in", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "I wish there was a toy catalogue for adults", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Dewey, you just described a mall", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Oh, candy. No. Gotta stay focused. I'm here for Mom", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Well, aren't you a little big to sit on Santa's lap?", "c": ["Mall Santa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.11, "im": 4.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Me. Anything else?", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "I got nothing", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "even if you just slap googly eyes on a coconut", "c": ["Mall Santa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Might have overdone it with the glitter paint", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Ah! No! No!", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Were you doing crafts? No! I was just... organizing the craft supplies", "c": ["Young Dwayne", "Ata"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Someone put a glue stick inside of the Magic Marker tray. People are animals", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Her... her mango shipment was late so she asked me to go to the store and get her some", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "$15? What are these made out of, gold doubloons?", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "You look too young to be here, but too old to be lost", "c": ["Brigitte"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Look, Brig-itty. Brigitte. Bresheet. No.", "c": ["Young Dwayne", "Brigitte"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "I'm a businessman, and you're a businesswoman", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "this is a Mervyn's. We don't haggle", "c": ["Brigitte"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "so I made her a stupid coconut with googly eyes, and then I dropped it on her Jane Seymour slippers", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "she's literally a Christmas angel", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Back to socks like the rest of us", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "So my baby will always have some shade", "c": ["Ata"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "God damn, I could've just been making coconuts", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Sorry, Dad. These coconuts are all mine", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "I love how you just assume that I have nothing to do all day and free to come to work with you and go to a party", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Do you have something to do today? No.", "c": ["Rocky", "Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Which I'm pretty sure permanently stained my hands", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Damn, that's not a little anything", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "We got you something too, uh, just left it at home. We'll bring it to the party", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "You don't gift up", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "The man owns a T. Rex skull. The hell can I buy him?", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "It's free, ain't it?", "c": ["Andre"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "$300? What, does it grant wishes?", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "You wash... I'll die. Instead of 'I'll dry'", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Stealing? At Christmastime? Certainly not anymore", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "This is a regift? She didn't put any thought into this. But all she did was wrap up something she didn't want. That's not even a gift. That's decorated trash", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "And that's exactly what we're gonna give her", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Aw, you gotta tinkle winkle?", "c": ["Radio Host"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Rocky Johnson! Can I get your autograph? Hell yeah", "c": ["Fan", "Rocky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Price of fame", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Well, maybe you could spill some red wine on it and give it to someone else", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "I almost got it engraved to say 'Never shuts up'... But it's Christmas", "c": ["Stone Cold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Well, the coconut is a family tradition. I make one for my mom every year. It used to be he was the only gift, but now he brings other gifts with him", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Actually, this time tomorrow you'll be on your layover in Charlotte, but it's a nice airport", "c": ["Dwayne"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "I'm just not a huge fan of flying over water", "c": ["Wrestler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "I'm not a robe guy. Thanks to my father who could never find the belt for his", "c": ["Triple H"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Well, this is every tack I've ever pulled out of my back after a match, fused together to form a life-sized Tori Amos", "c": ["Mick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Has Tori seen this? And if so, is she flattered or is this a restraining order situation?", "c": ["Young Dwayne"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Heels can't do charity events for kids. Good guys only", "c": ["Mick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "Oh, no! It's the Grinch!", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "before Stone Cold sticks his mistletoe right up your chimney", "c": ["Stone Cold"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "This one's a pepper mill for my good friend, Stanley Tucci. Merry Christmas, Tooch", "c": ["Dwayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "But hold the sandwiches, and hold the cookies. That's right. Dwanta's gettin' loaded", "c": ["Dwayne"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Dwanta Claus"}, {"t": "'Hey, Max! Is this your baby sister? What a cute, little girl!'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Or boy, if you grow up and feel that's what's inside you'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'O-M-G-, Liz. Look at you and me and our biological clocks'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'You're going baby crazy and I keep getting turned on by car accidents'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'It isn't stealing if it fell on the ground'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'When she's in a foul mood, it can be horribly unpleasant. But, at other times, she is asleep'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Do you know what kind of clothes old Puerto Rican ladies wear around the house? No. Me neither, because she never wore any'", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Jack?! Somebody's got to dry me off!'", "c": ["Mrs. Donaghy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Well, you bought three hours of network prime time for your salute to Benny Hill'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'I have to spend it all on useless things, like gold shoes and Grizz and Dotcom'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'When Angie and I got married, my only assets were a toaster oven and two tickets to a Young M.C. concert'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'I'll bring Angie in. But I'm going to tell her this is all your idea'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Don't help me! I'm too proud'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'I had to do something to get your attention'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Howdy, Jack! It's me, Janis Joplin! And I want to audition for my Sheinhardt-Universal biopic so bad that I came here dressed as me. Well, actually... I am me. So... Well, I dressed normal'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'It's like how we're including a Heroes DVD with every missile guidance system we sell'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Whoa! What is that iron bird? They had airplanes in the '60s, Jenna. Oh, right'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'It must be like working in the Galactic Senate in Star Wars'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'We are also very concerned about the growing influence of the Sith Lords'", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Only insofar as we met because I touched his head thinking he was a child'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Like order a tall coffee or talk about my Nintendo Wii'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Take a lesson from Janis and show some self-control. How far into that biography are you? Not very. Why? What happens?'", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Or any female of equivalent thickness'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'I'm going to watch you die, Tracy Jordan'", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'She's done it before, Jack'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Nice dress. Are you going to dinner? Don't forget your book'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Under the bridge'", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'The U.N.? They still have that? I could have sworn they turned that building into a Barnes and Noble'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Have you learned how to say Do you want fries with that in Chinese?'", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Senior V.P. for Television and Microwave Oven Programming'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'U.N. High Commission on Water Temperature and Food Taint'", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Yeah, you know me. Spend my lunch hour walking up and down Sixth Avenue... looking for a hot meal'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Classic Lemon man-eater. Cat sound'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'When I'm on my death bed, Frenching my wife, I will think of you'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Julia Roberts has agreed to play the tragic singer... Billy in a film directed by Martin Scorsese and written by the best screenwriter in the world. Whoever that is'", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'She fought me at first. But I find that authoritative, rapid Spanish subdues white people'", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'My nephew just joined the Marines to try to pay for college, but... that's fun'", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Without getting into specifics, my exit involves a McFlurry machine and a videotape of risqu\u00e9 commercials from overseas'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Except that in Puerto Rico, a McFlurry is called a Se\u00f1or Flurry'", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Are you trying to pick me up to keep me from touching fire?'", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Kofi said you were too good to be true. Not ah told me to wait three days before I called you'", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Instead of, uh... any of it... she'll have a cup of hot water with a chicken bone in it and a bowl of salted ice cubes'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'I have something on my ball'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "I have something on my ball.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'I didn't know Michael Bubl\u00e9 had that many albums'", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'You forgot to put on your underpants'", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'You should work for The Huffington Post'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Don't try to be Se\u00f1or Macho Solo'", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Which is actually what we call a McRib sandwich'", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "Which is actually what we call a 'McRib' sandwich.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Why? Do you want to get married? I'll do it'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Yes, I'm talking. Uh, no, we do not have the music'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Socially inept and baby crazy. I feel like I'm in a beer commercial'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "Socially inept and baby crazy. I feel like I'm in a beer commercial.", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Once again, Liz, I am an adult man'", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Because I'd like-a to make-a the prank phone call'", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'I brought a '65 Mo\u00ebt and some Pizza-Blasted Pringles'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "Oh. You were not being rude. You were just being stupid.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Why are they smiling so much? Who's being ostracized?'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'A Blaffair to Rememblack'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Surround yourself with people and love and babies with pierced ears'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'It's exactly like a snow-cone, except they call it a piragua'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'The test results were negative. Oh, I see your confusion! That is funny!'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Once again, I apologize that our regular warm-up comic O.D.'d at a gay man's apartment this morning'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Can two people fall in love over a benign gonad cyst?'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Janet Jopler!'", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Also, uh, we didn't get the song. I wrote this myself five minutes ago'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "'Oh, I'm so sorry! I thought he was someone else!'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Se\u00f1or Macho Solo"}, {"t": "Then at night, I've got to drive around Newark looking for my runaway daughter.", "c": ["Crew Member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "With your flat, manly, milking thumbs and your long, graceful knuckle hair", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "after the French custom, people wear dark socks to the beach", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "being worn by Dame Judi Dench's mother", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I must have ox fever! When did I walk barefoot near an ox?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Oh, I forgot to hit send. Just hold on a second. There you go.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "I once had a very under-cooked fish sandwich at a parade.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Oh, that reminds me. I owe Lou Dobbs a call.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Especially those whose grandmothers are addicted to online poker.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Wow. That does not sound right.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "I'm 'A-oh-boy.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Sully! Brett Favre, right?", "c": ["Liz", "Sully"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "My favorite part is attending executions.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "A more refined class of prostitute... For me, it's really about the companionship.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "My grandfather dug out the White Haven quarry, and my other grandfather filled it back in with the sludge from the eraser factory.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "When is modern science going to find a cure for a woman's mouth?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Hey, it's me. Matlock. I need your help.", "c": ["Mr. Templeton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Is that a beak? - Yes! - No. Yes!", "c": ["Jack", "Elisa", "Mr. Templeton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Then why am I telling you you look like Tootsie today?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Wrapped in a Confederate Flag, fried and fed to dogs.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "I saw the trailer when I went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "This makes me want to 'shoop'! 'Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop!'", "c": ["Crew Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "It was a bad one. Jenna had to put my tongue guard in.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "My what? ...No. ...With what? My arms? ...That would be the worst part!", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Without the crew, we'd just be two amazing people succeeding in a vacuum.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Because it's their birthday.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Thank you, Roger. This table was super-duper.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "But I spend all my time with the BigVegetable.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Musical sequence about taking Mr. Templeton out", "c": ["Jack", "Elisa"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "I am so happy, the number four, the letter 'U'.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Stay away, sick ones!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "If you want a shot... you're going to have to dance for it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "I'm cheating on my wife.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Yeah, I get it. You went shopping. I don't need the montage.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "I also want to thank you for controlling yourself sexually while we spend time together on this adventure.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Oh! My purse!", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "About 24 hours after receiving the flu shot... you develop a distinctive rash... at the injection site.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "I wasn't resting! A Parcell man never lies down on the job. Unless that job involves... milking pig teats.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Oh... Oh, ma ch\u00e8re maman! Pourquoi? Pourquoi m' as tu laiss\u00e8?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "But he's going to need a helmet.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Oh, the customers are so sad. 'Can I help you?' 'Yes. What time do you start throwing out doughnuts?'", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "A man comes at night. He comes to the house and takes me. He wears a suit. His hair is thick... like a Bolshevik Commissar.", "c": ["Mr. Templeton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "He made me watch a giraffe with the legs of a man! He gave money to a silver man! He ate a plate of fire!", "c": ["Mr. Templeton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "But now, he owns a railroad!", "c": ["Mr. Templeton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "And what's the best medicine? Medicine? Laughter.", "c": ["Jenna", "Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "And then... I want to go to a Negro bar.", "c": ["Mr. Templeton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "What? Why aren't you laughing? This is happening to Liz!", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "She got a flu shot! She... She lied to us! Give us back our meat plate!", "c": ["Crew"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "This one has beach socks and ice cream and sandwich turtles!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "A Filipino gentleman. His name is Banyani. I want to take him as my island lover!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "It kind of peters out after that. I just suck pie off my sweatshirt for the next half hour.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Both ends! Both ends!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "Final musical sequence about Mr. Templeton", "c": ["Jack", "Elisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Flu Shot"}, {"t": "So the wacky one?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "The audience suggestion is... Sling Blade and Oprah on a date.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I sure do like them French-fried 'pataters.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "No, you don't, Oprah.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Jenna is not a great improviser.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "You've got camp jitters.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "your little business camp friends", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "don't make me be your camp friend", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "First of all, never bad-mouth synergy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Where you are allowed to eat in the sauna because at some places, they get mad.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Is it a movie where you swap brains with your granddaughter?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Janet Jopler or Janie Jimplin", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "If you're nasty.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Oh, your hands are weird. I don't think you went to high school. I'm not busy Friday. I just said I was.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "You should do your Janis research on Wikipedia. It's online, so anyone can update it.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Did you know that Janis Joplin speed-walked everywhere and was afraid of toilets?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I have heard that, yes.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Dee-ay-butt-ees?", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Could I replace it with a wheel like Rosie from 'The Jetsons'?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "But then, you'd have to register as a motor vehicle.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Because it's winning time, you magnificent son of a bitch!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Just do it. Is it in you? I'm loving it!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Stop sweating, you idiot. What is wrong with you, you stupid bitch?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "They're dudes?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "teamwork, insight, brutality... male enhancement... 'handshake-ful-ness' and play hard.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Men? If I'd known your wives were alone I would have stayed in New York.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Well, obviously, the Finular analysis will concur with any synergized mindshare classifications. Bladorian frankles.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "'J'?", "c": ["Prashant"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "It's a practice wheel for when I lose my foot to diabetes.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "There's no link between diabetes and diet. That's a white myth, like Larry Bird or Colorado.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "My dad had diabetes and he ate whatever he wanted until he died on the day I was born.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "most African Americans don't understand that diabetes is caused by sleeping on your back.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Next, you'll be telling me that leasing a sports car is a bad investment.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I'm going to need some cherry juice, buttermilk and tequila to make my signature Janis Joplin cocktail The Frankschlong.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "It's 'LUNCH.' Lego Utilization for Negating Crisis Hierarchies.", "c": ["Six Sigma"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "No, Lemon, 'CLASS.' It's an acronym for Consuming Lunch And Simple Socializing.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Now, that just seems intentionally confusing.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "N-O-E... no! E.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Oh, you want to hear a tale of the Hill Witch?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "My Mee-maw saw her once taking away a boy who wouldn't eat his vegetables.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "One look turns you to stone and then she gorges on your living brain.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Through the stone?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "And my page desk will be turned sideways.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I'm gonna do it. I'm going to eat this cat.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "That's from 'ALF.' 'ALF' ate cats.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "The Academy loves dead singers and the handicapped and Janis was both!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "No, she wasn't. Her legs bent the right way.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "What? I speed-walked home on these!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I've got a thing for damaged goods.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Uh-doy-ee!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Suck it, nerds!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "the familiarity, nickname-ification", "c": ["Six Sigma"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Sorry, I dropped it when I was pretending it was my penis. Robot penis.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I'm the one who had to take the 'Silkwood' shower this morning.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Last night was stupid. Stupid, Frank!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "You... the one who cool should be!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Aw, you have a sitting area? You jag!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "You can't say 'uh-doy-ee' to me in mixed company.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I can go back to the lake with the fat kids and make bracelets.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "'Oh, sorry, Liz. My parents' basement only has room for five sleeping bags'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I give you a simple managerial suggestion in a professional context and I get back the second half of a Judy Blume novel.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I have so much energy my hand keeps dancing!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "This is a victory for hot women everywhere.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "What happens in Croton-on-Hudson stays in Croton-on-Hudson.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "We should start calling ourselves 'The Three Musketeers.' Not.", "c": ["Liz", "Prashant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Now, Dog the Bounty Hunter is the second-grossest guy I've been with.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Because he's mine.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Look at me! I'm a monster! The Hill Witch! Cover your brain!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "When a big one falls, four little ones move up.", "c": ["Six Sigma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Just don't say your name, Jack. Please don't say your name. You are Jack - titan, maverick, lover.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I just fooled y'all with my Jack Donaghy impression where I say crazy things that he would never say.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "I believe I heard 'Sling Blade.' Mmm, I love them French-fried 'pataters.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "they completely forgot about me when the bra lady went crazy", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "Uh-doy-ee.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Retreat To Move Forward"}, {"t": "You know it, Lady Broseph!", "c": ["intern"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Aren't they a little old, and over-dressed?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "They're former investment bankers who were laid off after that economic crash that Nancy Pelosi caused.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "They've got zero real-world skills, but god, they work hard.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Soap and spanish magazines? What, are you expecting a visit from the...", "c": ["intern"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Don't start unless you've got something.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "You should go there. They'd love you.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Women should not deliver the mail.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "He's a pediatrician, so you know he likes kids. Or feet. No, kids.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "And he has a golf magazine, so you know he's not gay or poor.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "That's a federal offense! And you already have 2 strikes.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Muppets Take Manhattan. Caddyshack. And a documentary about how pies are made.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Only the special tours get to see Conan without his wig.", "c": ["tour guide"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I've had white boyfriends. Black, Cuban... Brazilian guys with German heritage...", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I get it. You've been with other men. Congratulations. Thank you.", "c": ["Jack", "Elisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "He looks exactly like me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "He does look like you.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "This honky grandma be trippin'.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "When I quote lines from your movie, that's not racist? Of course not. I transcend race.", "c": ["intern", "Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "You shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition at.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "A yard, like a lawn? Yes, I have.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "He has an ice cream maker? Come on!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Don't be weird-looking.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I live in the basement, so I have all the nails.", "c": ["Oswald"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Sorry, I smell like frosting. I just love to bake.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I want to go to there.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Boy, I hope those two don't eventually have a showdown that pits family against justice.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "As a child, my grandmother worked in a silver mine without proper ventilation. Now, her mind is squishy like a hacky sack.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Even though sometimes she comes at me with a knife because of a silver frenzy.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Told him his haircut was exactly what I've been trying to describe to my barber. Smooth, I know. I'm way out of my league here.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "He gets all of the movie channels, including Starz.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "And... he trains seeing eye dogs at home.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "That's no good for you. You're allergic to dogs. Guess I'll have to step in then.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "He pulled an uncle Harland Parcell last night. Minus the wistful jug blowing.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Have you ever tasted Scotch? It's terrible! And this thing they call 'box seats at the Rangers game,' it's so cold!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "And what is Rohypnol?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "So I shouldn't have taken two of them for my headache?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Tonight, shooters at Blockheads, lay a base, meet up with my bro-hams at Cornell club? You know it, bri-man!", "c": ["Brian", "Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I have no idea what either one of us just said.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Here come the roofies. You can do whatever you want to me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "What? Come on, you're a nurse? Some of us are hot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "What? Come on, you're a nurse? Some of us are hot.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Boy, that guy looks a lot like you!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "He just blew up that kid!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "her adorably broken english. Metrocards are a real thing. You use them on the subway.", "c": ["Jack", "Elisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Opened her mail? That is just shocking. He's a monster.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Or he has a really good reason to do it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "My dog ran away! Let me get my coat.", "c": ["Liz", "Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "If we don't, I don't think I could ever be around dogs again.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I forgot I even had this on. I have so many charity t-shirts.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I'm actually on the board of the Pediatric Restless Leg Syndrome Association. I forgot I even had this on. I have so many charity t-shirts.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Shoot it, dog! I'm going to! I'm Tracy Jordan. Why would I be afraid of fire next to my mouth?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Wait, wait. What did he just say? That wasn't in the script.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "And now, this potion's gonna make me live forever.", "c": ["Hector/Generalissimo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Morena has gone broken arrow.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "We really should have had somebody on the set who speaks Spanish.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Do not try to out-generalissimo me, my friend.", "c": ["Hector"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I get to cut the line at Disneyland, if I come mid-week.", "c": ["Hector"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I have a lucrative endorsement deal with Sabor de Soledad!", "c": ["Hector"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Play ball, or you'll be back doing R-rated hypnotism at bull fights so fast, you won't know what hit you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "You can lose your mind!", "c": ["Jack", "Hector"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I am super gay, and I would totally switch for her.", "c": ["Hector"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Seduction is never impossible for El Generalissimo.", "c": ["Hector"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Like Julie Harris in The Belle of Amherst. You are surprisingly gay.", "c": ["Hector", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "What did you not understand? That picture is from a dog food ad.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I translated it, and took out the Star Wars references.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Good. Don't listen to anyone who says you should become an actress.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "He drugged her champagne and had his way with her.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Later, she gave birth to the devil. You know, sweeps week.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "That's what I could do to Drew.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "But you haven't seen Dr. Baird. He looks like a cartoon pilot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Be very careful. El Generalissimo was once a good man. But the years of loneliness drove him insane.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I am not the Generalissimo.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "It's like I said in my not-hit comedy Cruise Boat, 'I'm getting too old for this ship.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Do you know what happens to a comedian when he gets old and loses his audience? He starts to get offered serious roles.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "And do you really want to see me play Arthur Ashe?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "The party's tomorrow night. Tonight, I'm just hanging out, eating fondue by candlelight.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I guess one glass couldn't hurt.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I found your dog! He lost his collar, but I recognize him from the poster.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "How could he not want to come back to this beautiful lady?", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Buster, you wang!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Let's get you back in your special kitchen cabinet.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "You've been roofied!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "That's not your dog. I can explain. Just relax.", "c": ["Drew", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I am the Generalissimo!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I am the Generalissimo! I don't know what that means.", "c": ["Liz", "Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I don't know what that means.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I don't know what that means.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "The word 'whom' deserves a defender.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Monthy Python, Live at the Hollywood Bowl. Classic.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I'm a flip-flopper.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "The word 'whom' deserves a defender.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "weirder things have happened, right? Isn't that Tracy Jordan?", "c": ["Drew", "Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "I'm doing this so no one will know I'm getting old. But you just told us you're old. This interview is over.", "c": ["Tracy", "reporter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Generalissimo"}, {"t": "Good morning, Regular Person Lemon.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Saturday is Valentine's Day? Norts!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "You sound so sexy when you say that. Say it again.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "These McFlurries are amazing. I know-- the soft swirl of vanilla and the hard crunch of candy and cookies. You'd think they'd fight each other, but no. Together, they are perfecto.", "c": ["Jack", "Elisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Don't tell me you're one of those convenient Catholics that only goes to church every Sunday.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Do I? I wouldn't have this job if it weren't for the mouth on my back.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I'm just funning, it's all sewed up.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Is everything okay? Because now, I smell burnt plastic.", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "There is handsomeness involved.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Slut buster? / No, not a ball player.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "If I had those knockers, I'd be thanking God, too.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I don't know. Have you ever put a donut in the microwave?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Thanks. I found it at Dunkin... wait a minute.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Ken, you need to snap out of it and ask out that sexy Ms. Magoo.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Okay, there is something about Jennifer that just makes me all carsick inside.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Well, cotton and fiddles. I enjoy your smile.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Yes, indeedy corncobs?", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "It's a Valentine's date-li-doo!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "It's my own recipe where I use cheddar cheese instead of water.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Well, it's just gotten so small that I kind of want to see if it disappears.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Okay. Well, I guess we just... jumped ahead to date four. It's not the good one, either.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Jonathan... our Jonathan, who art in the office hallowed be my reservation. If you are able... hold my table at Plunder as we will not be there by seven.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Oh, cheese stew. What was I thinking?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "The draft made the door fly open! I know. It's not a big deal. So, we skipped from date four to date... 20.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Mandy? Is that, like, a guy friend, like Mandy Patinkin?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "You will see her. You will say she's cute. But let me just say that she is... complicated.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Mom's keying your car.", "c": ["Bethany"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Because, honey, you keep setting fire to things.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Okay, here's how this is going to go. We're going to sit here in silence for about three minutes. Then, I'm going to take my girlfriend to Plunder where the Pope himself could not get a table.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I didn't know it was a French restaurant. Yes, I found it on my favorite website StopShowingOff.com.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Jennifer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I have faith... in things I can see and buy and deregulate. Capitalism is my religion.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I hit my mother with a car... possibly by accident.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "And... I may have sodomized our former Vice President while under the influence of some weapons-grade narcotics.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I need backup! Harvard did not prepare me for this.", "c": ["Priest"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Blue is for showing your boobs. Purple is for doing stuff over your clothes. Black is for doing stuff...", "c": ["Bethany"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Wow, he does not sound good live.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "You know what your problem is, Jack? You intellectualize everything with your big head. Well, you have big boobs.", "c": ["Elisa", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "the patron saint of judgmental statues.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "What kind of God would let that happen?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I'm sorry... is this, like, a 'Sixth Sense' thing? Should I bring a place setting for your friend?", "c": ["Hospital Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "The woman he thinks is his sister is really his mother. I'm his grandmother.", "c": ["Drew's Mother"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Kenneth, why do you suddenly sound white?", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "And when I'm with you, my heart jumps like a frog on July asphalt right before it dies.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.63, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "That is cold, blind lady! Oh, and by the way... you are not so attractive, yourself. No, I'm... I'm pretty sure I'm hot. Yes, you are. I tried.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Jennifer", "Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "You know, my mom did just die. Funny story.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "You know where I found it? In the collection plate. It was a sign.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I believe that we were reunited by the most successful capitalist enterprise of the last hundred years despite the McLean Deluxe or the McEmu.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Boy, I hope that guy's not planning to kill and eat her.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "St. Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Look at this guy, used to be a man once.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Lemon, you're a woman. Of course I am! That doctor was a quack, I don't even know why my parents listened to him.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Aww, ladies are such a bummer. Where is this going, how serious are we, why don't you listen to my story about my friend?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "You mean, like, marriage? No, the one before that. Moving in together? That's huge! No, the thing you do before that. think 'you in the mid-nineties.' You haven't had sex?", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "We have, of course, pleasured one another- No, stop, I believe.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "she keeps confusing me with this ridiculous notion that 'sex' and 'love' are somehow connected.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "in 2009 I have done it two more times than you.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Give it up what, what. Whoo, do not leave a brother hanging.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "I've cursed for three hours straight just to get it out of my system, you dumb bitch.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "NGS Fridays at c-thirty on TB-10.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "wearing the shirt of a man.", "c": ["Asseef"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "You bring 800 dollars, rich lady, or I throw the phone away.", "c": ["Asseef"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, I'll definitely do that, on Opposite Day. I'm new to this country, is that a real thing?", "c": ["Liz", "Asseef"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "It's a caricature of me on a skateboard.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "We're Jack and Elisa - Jalisa. That's really lame, Jack. Yeah, that was just a joke.", "c": ["Jack", "Elisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "I don't wanna go all 'Marc Anthony' on you, but I need to know how you feel.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "You won't be coming in at all? But what about 'Jackonathon?'", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "But then he scores a basket, even though he's not a wolf anymore.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Larry, I'm not an expert, but I do have a strong opinion. New York as we know it will no longer exist tomorrow.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "in the days before Starbuck.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "and the movies are only cost three dollars.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Tracy Jordan, saying three serious things, and then a joke.", "c": ["Larry King"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "The chuffa volatility index is off the charts!", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Like a lion, ready to take its mate.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Ach, I lost my phone and this jagweed cabby has it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "There's an adult picture of me on that phone. What picture? Oh my god! Yes. That one.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Drew took it as a joke, I'm making a face like- Why am I telling you this?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "I was supposed to be in that movie Rush Hour but two weeks into shooting I was replaced by Jackie Chan.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Oh, Miss Lemon, I can't leave Manhattan on page business. NBC's interns doesn't cover it.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Say it. Say I'm your friend. Fine. You're my friend, Kenneth. Let's go.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "calm down, and start preparing their bodies for the Thunderdome. That is the new law.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "That's my TV!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Aww, I just got tagged.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "It's a song, a lullaby that my nana Lemon used to sing to me every night", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Oh, was it 'The Day is Done My Sweet, For the Lambs Have Been Decapitated?'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.58, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "she died a few hours later. It was my birthday.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "then I will not rest until I get my friend her phone.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "I watched an American Masters last night about Baryshnikov. I picked up a couple of ideas.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "there is no amount of money this company could lose that would cause me to- yes, that's the amount, I'll get dressed right now.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Devil's avocado here, Larry, I think people should freak the geek out.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "if some of it was gone I'd probably wouldn't even notice. Now why would you say that? I don't know.", "c": ["Tracy", "Larry King"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "No, that's not a New Year's thing, that's the year she wanted to live to, and she didn't make it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "I knew it! That's '99 Red Balloons,' Nena's famous anti-balloon protest song.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "I can't handle the truth!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Adult? You mean like you're driving a car or wearing a suit?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "and I only kept it because for once they were both pointing in the same direction.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Co-worker!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "At the stroke of midnight, your Lexus is gonna turn back into a high-powered rats, fighting over a human finger.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Hang on. I know Jack Donaghy, and that is an impostor. Hang up! Hang up on him Larry! I'm going to, but not because you told me.", "c": ["Tracy", "Larry King"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "It smells like dude in here.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "You'll eat cereal that comes in a bag, and you'll keep the free hand wipes from the casino.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "So am I.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Well, that was kind of neato, she just, whoop, flipped your words around on you.", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Hey, I'd recognize that voice anywhere Larry, that's my friend Peter Frampton on the phone.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Without giving it away: the place I picked is very dry and warm. Its top is hard, but its bottom is soft. And although the location changes all the time, the money stays in the same place.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "who is giving guitar icon Peter Frampton enigmatic clues about a secret treasure.", "c": ["Larry King"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Nothing. I don't know.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "either because of the Soviets or of something ridiculous, like a woman president.", "c": ["Geiss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Avoid... the noid.", "c": ["Geiss"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Everything's gone cocoa for cuckoo poops!", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "But I want a ring so big, that it gives me back problems.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Work number, work number, work number. You have no friends.", "c": ["Asseef"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "I'm not talking to you.", "c": ["Asseef"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "I never said it was a 'thing.' It's me. I am the safest place in 30 Rock.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "I would thank you to give the lady its cell phone back.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Because I'm having an asbestos removal party in my apartment on Sunday", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "and, I'm quoting here, 'an idiot.'", "c": ["Larry King"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Watch TGS Fridays at 10:30 on NBC! Word.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Aww, how do you turn this damn thing off?", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Larry King"}, {"t": "Love, peace, and hair grease!", "c": ["Unknown performer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 4.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "that bar where the waiters are dressed like ninjas", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Donuts and then bed. What are you depressed about or celebrating?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "How could you cut 'Diaper Chicken'?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "My ankle! Oh, 'Imaginary injury.' I would have said 'death of a voice coach.'", "c": ["Liz", "Writer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "don't you have some gallery opening or a fundraiser to give bow ties to inner city youths?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "I just need somewhere I can socialize where women aren't an issue.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "I know how to check your voice mail. You are officially a 'D-bag', Tim. I hope you lose your indoor soccer game.", "c": ["Becca"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Should you be working the night shift alone like this? It's fine. They gave me a gun.", "c": ["Liz", "Donut shop worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "You want a dozen donuts to stay?", "c": ["Donut shop worker"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Making a new friend. I don't like that you have crazy-eyes. Oh, shut up, mouth.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "What do your dads tell their friends you do? Surgeon. Optometrist. Died. I never really knew my dad, so... I just lie to myself. Space assassin.", "c": ["Frank", "Writers"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Last time I saw my dad, he went out to get the candles for my fourth birthday lasagna... and never came back.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "In Sicilian dialect, it means 'well poisoner.' In Gaelic, Donaghy means 'dung basket.'", "c": ["Frank", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "His contract is up, and I don't want to feel sorry for him.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, his MyFace page - horny.", "c": ["Becca"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "When I was your age, you could just be like, 'Oh, he probably tried to call me, but my line was busy.' And then just... watch Falcon Crest and cry yourself to sleep.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "They all just seemed really old and weird. Not one of them even knew who Ne-Yo is.", "c": ["Becca"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Finally! Thank you! Somebody cool, for once.", "c": ["Becca"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Goodbye, my friend. He had to be mean to save him. Harry belonged in the woods.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Maybe that's why we're drawn to movies where the father figure pushes away the child/legendary North American forest ape.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "I don't have a birth certificate because I was born inside of Yankee Stadium.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "And because of my drinking, they're often a surprise.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "This morning it hit me in the shower why the Hendersons named their guest 'Harry.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "We both have recurring dreams about being overpowered by a female bodybuilder.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Make your father hate any new children he might have.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "fake vomit on it. Right. Fake.", "c": ["Jack", "Frank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Please don't be a daughter I didn't know about.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "So, do you want me to start Youth Consulting now? Because kids would not be into that.", "c": ["Becca"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "My heart goes out to all the inner city kids. Especially those too fat to dance their way out.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Look at Biz Markie or The Doors.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "And when my caveman brain saw those babies... with their little Hornberger foreheads... it clicked.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "My pregnant teen message board says the baby gets all its food from the mother. So, you have to give it stuff it likes.", "c": ["Becca"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "I'm going to post a reply to Juno 32 and tell her she's a giant ass wipe.", "c": ["Becca"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "You already dress like a mom.", "c": ["Becca"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "What a schmo, entering first. Now, I'm the headliner, and he's just the warm-up act. I'm Mr. Don Rickles and he's just me.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Did you know that if you sing 'Happy Birthday' on a TV show, you have to pay for it?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "No one ask me about my back brace.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "I also would have accepted, 'You can't prove that's the governor's semen.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "And who knows when February 24th will come again?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Someday, you'll have an ad on the subway in English and Spanish.", "c": ["Frank's Mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "For the mob! Frankie's father didn't abandon him. He's in hiding in Phoenix.", "c": ["Frank's mother"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "You want me to paint you a picture? Because I did. It's part of a therapy through painting thing.", "c": ["Frank's mother"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Don't even ask about the wheelchair.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "There was once a great American named George Henderson. He met a woodland ape, or Sasquatch, who, despite its dangerous message of environmentalism, became his friend.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Is that Harry and the Hendersons? You've seen it? This is my life, Jack.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "I wished for you to get better. I was going to wish for breakfast in bed with RoboCop while that elephant paints us.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "But who would I celebrate with if y'all were in a car accident?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Ugh! Fine, Lithgow! I'll do the right thing. God! I guess someone's been watching The World According to Garp.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Do you know how many people want what just got dropped in your lap? 'Oh, now is not a good time. I want to go to Burning Man.' Shut up, Tim!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "And get married and have disposable cameras at the wedding because it's fun and people like it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Get out of here! Can't you see we don't want you anymore? Go to the writers' room! There is no scholarship!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Get out of here! Can't you see we don't want you anymore?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Goodbye, my friend.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "My God. Look at your boobs.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "I guess, in a way... we both... lost children today. Yeah, but mine was real, Jack. Yours was Frank.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Can someone please tell me how to get out of this building? It's like a maze! I keep walking past the same... Sbarro's!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "It's like a maze! I keep walking past the same... Sbarro's!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "I'm a celebrity! Please!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Goodbye, My Friend"}, {"t": "Are you pickling squirrel meat? Because I can lend you my skull presser.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "There's a stacker thing to separate your junk mail from your humidifier catalogs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "A round, plastic deal that holds your shoes with a pocket for a photograph of what shoes are in there.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Like a phoenix rise... Watch out! Or... maybe this is going to be the worst day ever.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Everybody shut up! Shut up, Lutz.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Already today, I have lost faith in 'decorganizing'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "lost a shoving match to what I thought was a female bike messenger", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Why are you not wearing pants?... They still have the heat set for winter and my office is boiling.", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I told you to buy more 'Proactiv'.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Sir, as I'm sure you know from reading my blog", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "inspired by, but, for legal reasons, not based on Janis Joplin", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Synonym's just another word for the word you want to use...?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "You and this gravy-face have slarneyed up a real donnybrook!", "c": ["O'Cannon"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Wake up, mother --", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "50 grand? Can anyone cut this in half?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I only heard the 'thin' part, Liz.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Obviously, you can't do both T.G.S. and Janie Jimplin.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "We could cut the lesbian scene. But the Oscars love that kind of thing. There's two guys at my gym named Oscar.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Jenna. That's a glue stick.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "The pocket microwave? You can buy it on Friday along with everyone else. It has a ham button. You used my idea!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I haven't been this tired since I was forced to do that dance marathon in Dubai.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Mostly because I checked the wrong box on a form once.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "It's being funded by the U.S. military and the W.N.B.A.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Take 25 of these a day for the rest of your life.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I've got my Princess Leia outfit and some Playgirl magazines from the early 1980s. They will dismiss me immediately as a weirdo.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "We all will, Kenneth. We all will.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "You guys are my best friends.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I guess 'F.C.C.' stands for 'Federal Bunch of Sticklers'.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I learned that if you pay some money afterwards, you can say whatever you want on TV.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "That's always the lesson! If you have money, you can do whatever you want.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I am not asking you this as the boss you love to undermine, but as the friend whose birthday you love to forget.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "And I don't really think it's fair for me to be on a jury because I'm a hologram.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "The subject is unusually thirsty.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "College students, the morbidly obese and homosexuals.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "the 'Bitenuker', is highly offensive to those who speak either French or Dutch.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "A Franco-Dutchman would pronounce it 'bet nyooker'. Hey! That's awful!", "c": ["Jack", "Miss Laroche-van-der Hoot"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Let's not shoot for the middle this time.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "This ain't Chicago, honey.", "c": ["Court Officer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "The pig spoor has hit the wind spinner.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "And I keep starting to sneeze... but nothing comes out.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Attention, everyone! All menstruating women go home immediately!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "You know what I like to do for eight hours? The TV Guide crossword puzzle.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "They're all dead, Lemon. They're all dead unless they come up with a name for my pocket microwave.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm rapping Obama. Hey, I'm Josh doing an impression of DeNiro as an auctioneer.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "The Small Wonder. The 'Micro-Mate'. The 'Porta-Hotty'.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I see you... self-publishing your novel and moving back in with your parents.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "What sounds more shocking? Or...", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "All we do is joke around together about our stupid boss, Liz Lem...", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I'll just buy up all the ads and let that hilarious Tracy Jordan character do whatever he wants.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "They knew what a 'Hot Richard' was?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "'V'. 'A'. 'G'... Why don't we start over?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Throw in a late Hannukah and the fact that I work in a Kwanzaa neighborhood", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "But I suspect they were doing sex with each other.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "most of whom would be unemployable in any other field", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "And don't even get me started on Tracy and Jenna.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "All of it would dance in the warm mouth of my fire.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "And a new, better, wonderful me would rise from the ashes like a phoenix.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "So, it's kind of like a 'funcooker'.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "One hug, you mean?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Peace and love, Track Jordan.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I am an advertiser.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "I'm freer than you. I'm freer than you.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Professor Bananas is dead.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Hey. Is your vision steadily narrowing down to a pinpoint as if a darkness is closing in on you?", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Sleep or die!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Check out my funcooker!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "My wife is throwing away some of our old towels. Do you want them? Because they're out by the trash cans.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Here comes the funcooker.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Bite nuker!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Let's go out this weekend and talk about you.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "All I did was ask for a Diet Slice and some pita chips.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "heat up some ham... in the shower.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "It works in the shower?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "You know what? This really is the best day ever.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Here comes the funcooker!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Funcooker"}, {"t": "Oh, is that code for some kind of older gal medical procedure?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Well, don't get too attached. As soon as people realize his tonics don't work it's on to the next town.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Catalog photos of expectant mothers in their swimming suits?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "You're my Radar O'Reilly, Ken. Now get in here and rub my feet till you hear a chopper coming.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Oh, upbeat and confused.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I'm thinking about some of them now. / Me too.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "His video game made a fortune and he invested all of it in a company that dismantles bank signs. They're doing very well.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "You guys are best friends forever? / That's not what that stands for.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Why would you celebrate that?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I'm Calvin Klein and I think you should be my next underwear model. / Whoa, thanks! / You don't wanna get a card or... a phone number? / He'll figure it out.", "c": ["Calvin Klein", "Drew"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Mayor Bloomberg asked him to dance.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "They live in a bubble... a bubble of free drinks, kindness and outdoor sex.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Jack, I want you to pay close attention to the following over-the-top eye-roll. Oh, brother.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "What the what?! You have a Superman chest!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, the lady will have two tickets to the gun show!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "You look just how I picture Mary Magdalene. / You're what I think Judas looks like.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Well, because, Kenneth, I am a selfless person who can't get arrested in this town.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Sorry it took me so long to answer. I was just thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Tracy's is a tactile-kinesthetic learning style... Dotcom... so help me God.", "c": ["Jack", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "It's nice of those guys to give up their court for us. / Yes... for us.", "c": ["Liz", "Drew"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "So I should probably warn you, I was pro in college.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Excuse me... do you give lessons?", "c": ["Random person"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "What is this orange-y taste? / Gatorade.", "c": ["Liz", "Drew"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Are you choking? Are you choking? I'm a doctor. Stay calm, stay calm. I just need... I just need to shake it loose.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Oh no, he's not a B.F.F.? / Ugh, no! Never!", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "He is a doctor who doesn't know the Heimlich Maneuver. He can't play tennis, he can't cook... he's as bad at sex as I am. But he has no idea!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "For years... I thought I spoke excellent French.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "You wake a sleepwalker, you risk getting urinated on. / Or thanked... on.", "c": ["Jack", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Oh, no! When I get upset my accent come out. And when it gets to comin' out, I can't get to talkin', nuh-uh!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Don't cling to this, Lemon. Be a manager. Control your people. Buy better clothes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Nope, I lost it, that was Batman.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Before 'The Rachel,' Jennifer Aniston was just a chunky nobody who couldn't get a job. / Wasn't she already on Friends? / Richard Esposito, move to the back.", "c": ["Jenna", "Writer", "Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Everyone shout out words that describe my beauty. / Fading. / '80s. / 1880s.", "c": ["Jenna", "Writers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I want you to come back to the T.G.S. for the people who like the jokes and the things.", "c": ["Rick as Bill Cosby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Bill Cosby, you got a lot of nerve getting on the phone with me after what you did to my Aunt Paulette. / 1971, Cincinnati. She was the cocktail waitress with the droopy eye.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable... with your light-ass kids!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Tracy, this is Billy Dee Williams. I just wanna say I love your work. It's very smooth.", "c": ["Jack as Billy Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Mayonnaise... and a pack of cigarettes.", "c": ["Tracy Jr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "# My girl has a fat neck? I'm sharp, let's do it again.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "He set up a home recording studio in our rec room! 'My girl has a fat neck? I'm sharp, let's do it again.'", "c": ["Tracy Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I came here to see the dumbest cracker in all of New York.", "c": ["Tracy Jr."], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I came here to see the dumbest cracker in all of New York.", "c": ["Tracy Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "You try to order off the menu again I will smack those glasses off your face.", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Actually, they used footage of me from my high school swim team to draw Prince Eric.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, you can. The hot Italian lady from the Food Network told me so. Did she say it on TV? No, she said it to me when she jumped escalators to try to talk...", "c": ["Drew", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "That's it! I quit! This racket is a fart and you cheat! You're a cheating bitch!", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "That's it! I quit! This racket is a fart and you cheat! You're a cheating bitch!", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I know Mr. Jordan like the back of my stepfather Ron's hand.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I know that by 'binky' he means 1970s pornography.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I know that by 'binky' he means 1970s pornography.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Hello, Studio 6-H. This is... Cranston.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "# Fat-necked girl, let me count your neck rings?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Plus, I've started to dream as Cranston.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "But this is for a wonderful charity called Merkins of Hope.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Locks of Love turned me down. They said my hair was too processed for a sick person to wear.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Locks of Love turned me down. They said my hair was too processed for a sick person to wear.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "But this is for a wonderful charity called Merkins of Hope.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I guess I'm only farm-strong, and not heart-strong.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Of course you don't, you idiot. I'm coming back to work, Jack... with Kenneth.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I want to use 'ironic' however I want.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Or as the French say... / Yeah. I'll see you around.", "c": ["Drew", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Are you frying bacon? No. It's my new running shoes.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "My mail's been piling up, and I keep forgetting to buy toilet paper.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Don't wear that thing with the belt. What thing with the belt? I have a lot of belted outfits!", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "If you have a spaceship and are looking for a hilarious astronaut with an irregular heartbeat and $30 million", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Hello, dummy. No. Nope. Not interested. Have a good life.", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "One word. Coffee. One problem. Where do you get it? Anywhere. You get it anywhere. Wrong.", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "38th and 6th in the basement of the K-Mart. You just go downstairs, you get the key from David, and boom. You plug in the machine", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I am sorry that my disease has made you a victim of my sexual charisma. I am sorry that I have ruined you for other men.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "My support group? It's lousy with nymphos.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I have a Google News Alert for the phrase 'Tracy Jordan ridiculous disaster'.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "You think or you know? Hang on. I'm going into a tunnel.", "c": ["Jack", "Pete"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "His name is Paul and he doesn't want to meet you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "As a kid, you never got so excited, you vomited? No. No one does that. I mean, I've peed a little.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I'm 'lizzing'! 'Lizzing' is a combination of 'laughing' and 'whizzing.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Kiss Peggy Fleming... Done, done and... oh, boy. Done.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Hit Mom with a car", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I've held Walt Disney's frozen head in my hands.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I've hunted the world's most dangerous game. Man. Excuse me. Manatee.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Could you get Adam West's agent on the phone, please?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Did you know there's a Broadway Street in Tampa?", "c": ["Adam West"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Why are there so many dead doves up here?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Yes. Hello, this is Jenna.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Yes. Really. Whysoever would you be phoning me?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "With the help of Web M.D., I was recently self-diagnosed as a sex addict.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "You know, I was the love of Liz's life. I'm not sure you were, but apology accepted.", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz-as-Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "What is this, Horseville? Because I am surrounded by 'neigh'-sayers. Wordplay.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Of escaping the slums. Of killing an Ewok.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Of course not. I don't have friends at NASA. Bunch of nerds.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I lost my virginity to the My Fair Lady soundtrack.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "because of Hurricane Katrina", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "You were trying to be an actress then, despite your neck.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yeah. Let's go give him a piece of our mind. Let's stab him. Yeah, your thing.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "But I thought you were the oldest, sir. Oldest boy.", "c": ["Jonathan", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Every time you move his head, his head moves! Look!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Kenneth, I wonder what it's like seeing the world through your eyes. I don't know, Mr. Donaghy. I think I see the world pretty much the same as everyone else.", "c": ["Jack", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Musical sequence about Kenneth's simple joy", "c": ["Jack", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "You've got all of these fancy presents from business associates and this big empty house to store them in.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "You want me to rank you. Apples and oranges, ladies.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "What those people were doing to the Superdome?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "It was in your bed. Aw, guys, come on! I eat in there!", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I'm ranking you now. Hey, blondie. You're number one. I don't care! Thank you, Dennis.", "c": ["Dennis", "Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I can't stay long. I'm on a case. The Penguin's in town.", "c": ["Adam West"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Jake 'Dellahee'!", "c": ["Adam West"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I was told I'd get a meal.", "c": ["Adam West"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "The closest I came to vomiting tonight was when I saw Ann Coulter's shoulder blades.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I'm going to Benjamin Button myself.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "As a child, I dreamed of being a Congressman like my father. Now, I do this. One D.U.I. in high school.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Computer, when do I get some Tang? Also... I'm thirsty.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I threw a brick through the window of a Banana Republic.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Floor Marshall! / Hey. You called tech support?", "c": ["Liz", "Tech guy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I flew down from Boston. / I have to know, Jimmy. / I don't remember, Jack.", "c": ["Jimmy", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "If I learned anything from watching 24, you're going to want to zoom in and enhance.", "c": ["Tech guy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I thought this was a job interview. I flew down from Boston.", "c": ["Jimmy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "You're clearly saying something. Get me a deaf person.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Why wouldn't you warn me? I was staring at your mouth!", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "These crutches are real, everyone. Liz tried to kill me.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Are go for launch. Star Wars. [Imitates Ewok]", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I'm scared! But I'm also excited! I'm 'lizzing'!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "where a morbidly obese gentleman called me 'pal.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "And sometimes, it sounds like Jenna yelling in the distance.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "If everyone could see the world the way I see it... it would be a better place to live.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "the only job she ever booked was for a local phone sex line", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "they only hired her because their first choice was deported", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm Bijou. Call me.", "c": ["Young Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I have since had 'Invisalign'.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "That's not even enough numbers!", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "I remember that girl. She cried all day.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Oh, is that Billie Jean King?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "Bijou.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Apollo, Apollo"}, {"t": "One unsolved crew death", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "They're all empty. What the hell? / Congratulations on 50 shows, everyone. Enjoy your decorative air holders. You deserve them.", "c": ["Various crew", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Our parent company sheinhardt wigs is announcing losses this quarter For the first time since the civil war.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Can't leave if living is without you / okay, last verse, jonathan. / i can't live!", "c": ["Jonathan", "Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "The days of your wild coke parties are over. / Well, if by 'coke,' you mean 'sodas'... / I do. It's really bad.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Jack, i put on a live show every week Unless there's wrestling.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "let's get this right. / i've got so tcks up my sleeve. / That's my girl. / No, trix, the cereal. Some fell in my sleeve. It's sticking to the fibers.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "The assistants talked about last night At finnegan's, the bar we all go to after work... in my dreams.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Discretion, docility, and don't use my bathroom.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "But you are here. I can see you.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "I feel like i'm the pelican brief! Do i already know too much?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "brad halster.the himler group.A division of advantrix theconsulting.", "c": ["Brad"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Actually, i thought we'd do this outside the box.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "we are the number one late night show among men 9-13 and the morbidly obese.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "we're In final negotiations To create exclusive content for america's jails", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Someone put too many farts in this engine! It's about to explode!", "c": ["TGS performer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "My name is suri cruise. Put your hands in the air. I came out of the womb with a full head of hair.", "c": ["TGS performer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Yeah, okay. Birds are like little dinosaurs. So what i'll be doing is actually pretty cool and brave.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Oh, and one thing, don't go into my bedroom. / What? / Do not go into my bedroom.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "It's tergis with tracky ng-Jong And jimmy moop!", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Or in sid's case, their much younger wife With whom they have an open relationship.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "All right, what about straws? We spend $1,200 a year on straws. / Okay, fine. No straws. / Oh, no, we need straws. / Oh, god! That's its bathroom!", "c": ["Pete", "Liz", "Various"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "We're not behind the times, we're groovy!", "c": ["Matthew"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "tashonda from time warner cable Is on the phone And she's offering three free months of showtime. But we have to act now.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "don't go in the bedroom. / Don't go in the bedroom. / I wasn't going to! I wasn't going to! Bye!", "c": ["Kenneth's bird", "Tracy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "I was wrong. That was not important enough.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Do you happen to know If he's a boob man or a butt man? / What? Why would you ask that? / Because i don't want to get fired. So i'm gonna have to go in there And boink my way out of this", "c": ["Cheryl", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Maybe we could team up, go in there together, lez out, give him a show.", "c": ["Cheryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "I want to keep making free, long-Distance prank calls To people like seattle's richard sacmuncher.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Why is everyone talking about that movie? / It's playing on showtime.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Sexual bartering pays off. Salome. Mata hari. Deborah norville.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "And all masked murderers share three characteristics: Cruelty to animals... / He grew up killing pigs! / Bedwetting. / No wonder he's fascinated when i do that! / And an inability to read human facial queues! / I admonished him for that earlier! / Three for three. He's a monster!", "c": ["Jenna", "Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Do you have a cookie? Mommy's baby needs his yum-Yums.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Good-Bye, lerz.", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "I can't go back to teaching high school math. Those girls pretend they're not women yet, But they are.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Halster, you look hot in those trousers. how about we grab drinks tonight? Marissa, update my sched.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "I will be sure to let him know As soon as he's done firing steven lee from microwaves.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Lee, i need that dress jenna wore for the hooker sketch, The heels tracy wears when he plays michelle obama, And double--Wait-- Triple spanx.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "They may take my dignity, But they will never take our straws! / Yeah!", "c": ["Liz", "Crew"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Kenneth's a murderer and the riddler's coming! / no. it's a bug bomb. get out. get out. / It's poisonous. Ah! / Ah!", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "We go upstairs.20 minutes. Open mouth.I will work your ears.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "30 minutes. sounds. Top front of my body is now in play. Deal? / Deal.", "c": ["Liz", "Brad"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "I had to give him a little taste of the lemon. And it was not sour, my friend. Not sour.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Good lord, lemon, that's your worst quadrant.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "it is not enough that you killed the bird I've had for almost 60 years.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "it is not enough that you killed the bird I've had for almost 60 years.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "I may just be a non-Special,", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Being with a woman for the first time since my wife died. / Ah, snap. / It was just a transaction?", "c": ["Brad", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Sharon! Angel! i swore to you the next one would be worthy, But she's not! she's a monster!", "c": ["Brad"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "In the human resource world, We refer to that as 'being a filthy prostitute.'", "c": ["HR representative"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "I'm convinced that this sexual outburst Was brought on by menopause.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "When you harass sexually in the workplace, Things do not somehow just work out in the end.", "c": ["HR representative"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "Not to name names, but it's so sad That a certain black individual Found it necessary to trick someone so pretty Into believing you were a murderer.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "looks like i've got some naming to do. Pat. Balthazar. Donna. lorne. michael.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cutbacks"}, {"t": "It's pronounced \"weener-slave.\"", "c": ["Sexual harassment instructor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "That is an example of a very appropriate and very,very funny joke.", "c": ["Sexual harassment instructor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "I was just swinging my arm and she walked into me. Twice.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "We got the life rights? It's not janie jimplin anymore?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "It looks like your character's going to be called jackie jormp-jomp.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Oh,okay. So what's the good news?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "You're holding that upsiddown.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "But what about my duet with jimi hendrickson at woodstocks?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "someday there will be a black president", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Do you need a sex tape released? 'Cause I got a wrdne.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "It's night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "But she knows what she did.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "You're on s-e-x probation.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Mr. Donaghy,help! Rule breaking!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "I learned that from dr. King! I'm brave!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Remember that time I came back from the world economic forum with mono", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Hey,i brighten their day.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "\"constant cving.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "He could do better.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "The whole thing is loosely based on a evening I spent with isiah thomas.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "And said pretty boys like me shouldn't be filling their heads with ideas.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Hello. Coworker.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Like you were,in poland.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "What? This building has a gym?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Right now,i should be standing in a toilet stall so nobody bothers me while I eat lunch.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "A a decoy candy drawer to throw others off the trail?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "He has a ridge on the section of the skull associated with deviousness.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "And not because of my acute ventralitis.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "I actually haven't spoken to her yet, but I have a long-term plan to marry her,", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "But someone atthe today show made me eat an unripe bana in front of her.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "I will not be able to attend your wedding. Because of a prior conflict.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Weekday.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Short for shabby. Hilarious.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "This is,like,your version of sweatpants and pop-tarts? Not too shabs. Short for shabby. Hilarious.", "c": ["Liz", "Emily"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Or write a cookbook specifically for mixed-race children.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Or have mild lupus and great insurance.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Or marry a rich, old dude who dies. Clive,i wanna say?", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Those look great on you. Then I'm buying them.", "c": ["Emily", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "and it's gone just like that? Just like that. Thank you,dr. Binderman.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "I forgot to watch my show.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "dora the explorer's backpack! Backpack, is map in you tonight?", "c": ["Child reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Dotcom,i forgot to get you extra mustard.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Except for the mustard that comes with the sandwich.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Oh,really? I love you too,dotcom.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Yeah,well, liz lemon's in jail now.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Are you daphne? Yeah,you're fired.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "And now the cyrus family has decided to rock a bunch ofunky hats.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Did jackie jormp-jomp give up when those vampires attacked woodstocks?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Was that me? Did they just say I'm dead?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Maroney. Picture. Dead. Got it.", "c": ["Connor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "You being dead is the best thing that ever happened to this movie.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Jenna. I wanna tupac you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Or rusty,the bear fromthe magicals.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Why don't you drop those dockers and gimme a piece of that sweet ass?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Did i? Or did he put his mouth on my fingers?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "I'm on humanity leave.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Syllabus of usoff vagabonds,martyrs,and quilts.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Like that hbo show. John adams.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Heavy is the head that eats the crayons.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "I don't feel anything.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Bm-ing like a rock star?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Just think,an hour ago they were brawling in a parking lot, But tonight, they're gonna be stars.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "No,i used to be a neurosurgeon before jasmine guy and I wrote our cookbook,", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Punch me in the face,liz.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "I brought a roll of quarters to hold in my fist.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "The coast guard won't officially declare her dead yet, but what the pirates did to that boat!", "c": ["TV host"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Especially the woman on the right.", "c": ["TV host"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "It has the year I was born on it. Therealyear, not the actress year.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Whole grain,low fat I know you want a piece of that", "c": ["Replacement dancers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "still alive.Not yet 32. Sorry,jack. Worth it.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "You guys mess up everything you touch, and then I have to come in here and fix it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Why are you smiling? You're freaking me out.", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "You're crazy!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Jackie Jormp Jomp"}, {"t": "Are you sure?", "c": ["jewelry store employee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "In my experience, 'let's think about it' usually ends up with me watching Solid Gold in my basement on prom night.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "In fact, I've coined a new term to describe what Elisa is to me... The One.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Yeah, you should be a writer.", "c": ["jewelry store employee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Whoa! Check out the bling... or whatever it's called now.", "c": ["character unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Physical comedy sequence with ring getting stuck in vent", "c": ["character unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "She's very spirited... like a show horse.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no. She's not the bride. This is the one I am marrying.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Please follow me to the real showroom.", "c": ["jewelry store employee"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Oh, Miss Lemon, we can't have coconut products out anymore because of staff allergies. / What? No, allergies are psychosomatic.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "The only reason I'm allergic to dogs is because one bit me the first time I got my period.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "If I have a strawberry, my throat shuts up faster than a girl in math class.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "You know, if my cousin Stephanie eats a walnut her throat shuts up faster than a Filipino at a... / Guys! Come on. Not okay.", "c": ["Kenneth", "others"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Don't worry, no food in here, Kenneth... just a donut box with a mouse in it.", "c": ["character unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "She was working at the Dyker Heights Arthur Treacher's and I was residing there.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "It's either going to be a denim jacket that says 'Hot Bitch' in diamonds... Or a Slanket.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "You are wise, Liz Lemon like a genetically-manipulated shark.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I'll take that Slanket, too, if you're not going to use it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Actually, Lemon... three weeks ago.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I'm afraid he's going to want to go through with his 'proposings' at marriage. Sorry. I haven't spoken English in two menses.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Are you a man? / Really? That's your guess? A man?", "c": ["Liz", "Elisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "You want to see me naked? / Sort of.", "c": ["Elisa", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I don't think I have the strength to tell it to his head.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "You're a big fan of mine and you're not gay? / Not even bi-curious?", "c": ["Jenna", "fan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I still think that would have sold much better if he had shot me in the face.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "But if you had, I would have liked to have gotten that call.", "c": ["fan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Jenna, Us Weekly is calling to confirm a story that your animal rescue shelter is supplying quesadilla meat to amusement parks.", "c": ["assistant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "All anybody posted on it were penises.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Now, don't dare say anything about what I told you about my secret. / I'm not going to because you have to.", "c": ["Elisa", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I called 911. They wouldn't even connect me to their celebrity service.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "She kills her father hoping that the guy will come to that funeral, too. / That's correct... oh, boy.", "c": ["Pete", "Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "But of course, she'd also have to kill her father's doorman and anyone else who might have seen her. And you, for giving her the idea in the first place.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I'm wearing it as a joke.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I can't have this on my chest scaring off beautiful women in the clubs.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "And you know my signature move with the ladies. It's... / Taking off your shirt.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Now, it's a Sophie's Choice.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "What do you want me to say, Tracy... 'I'm sorry I made it harder for you to cheat on your wife?'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "My real name... is Dick Whitman.", "c": ["character unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "La Viuda Negra! / What? What does that mean? / The Black Widow.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "My current theory is she's the mother of those Michael Jackson kids.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Blue writing on green. Why?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I was married once and I killed my husband.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "They threw my case out. I couldn't get an impartial jury after that song about me came out.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "You get the tattoo... but when you hit the clubs you draw a mane around the face with a marker and make it look like a lion named... Tangiers.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "if you want everyone to think I own a gay lion! Tangiers?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "The Moroccan national soccer team is the Lions. Tangiers is in Morocco. So, yeah, I guess I'm an idiot.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I think my grandpa may have but he never really liked to talk about what happened at... Kent State.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I'm 50. To put it in perspective, that's like 32 for ladies.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "If he was here at night, he must work the evening shift... like on a sheik's pleasure yacht. Thank you.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "It's not product placement. I just like it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "What if I find myself stranded in a snow cave with a stern but comely lady geologist, both of us knowing that our only chance for survival is the heat from our naked bodies?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Face it, you are the closest thing to a man working here right now.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "And you're going to be tempted like Jesus in the wilderness. / Jesus is my stereo guy and The Wilderness is a club I took him to once.", "c": ["Tracy", "Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Oh, for God's sakes. What is this, Third Watch?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "We're gonna have to cut off his hands to get the sickness out. He's gonna have to learn how to urinate with his feet.", "c": ["fake EMT"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I'm just a girl... standing in front of a boy she poisoned so this other boy would go to town on her.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Thank God... 'sociopath' downgraded to 'extreme narcissist.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "In the 20 years that I've known her... I've never cheated on my wife.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "All the phone numbers you see me hand out? They're not even mine.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Hello? No, this isn't Tracy Jordan. Really? I've not heard of that term before. It... do you know how to get to Connecticut?", "c": ["phone recipient"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "So can you because I'm a ridiculous, unstable human being.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean my mouth radio?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "When you call 911, tell them they have to send everyone.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Working on my night cheese, Mmm, mmm...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "How are you so quiet when your parades are so loud?", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I knew your relationship was too weird not to be sexual!", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Yeah, I mean, come on. Look at me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Because she's your bro.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Lemon, isn't there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts? Shoo.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "And eventually... it makes me loco for Choco-Puffs.", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Is it my English or was that not a great breaking-up speech?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Sure, I was legally dead for five minutes but I did it for true love.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "Wow, that is one gay lion.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Ones"}, {"t": "I had Grizz call him at 8:00 this morning and pretend it was 11:00. I printed up that fake rehearsal schedule for him, Saying we were starting at 9:00 instead of noon. Oh, and I set all his watches and clocks to say P.M. when it's really A.M.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "I took my son to his cello recital this morning at what turned out to be midnight yesterday!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "You treat me like one of those little pageant girls with the clip-on teeth.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Irregardless!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "You know what? Race card. No, don't accept it!", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "There's a restaurant hostess in midtown I'd like to see cry.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Including more than one Unitarian!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "And I once made love to Kathy Hilton.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "What is this, the Italian parliament?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Evidently, the concierge at the plaza 'has a beard,' and she'd rather not get raped.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Tracy hasn't come back yet, But he did sent a gibbon to rehearse in his place.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "[laughs] he's pretty good.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Dear racist Liz Lemon... this is how you treat me, like a white-whiskered gibbon put on this earth to do nothing but dance around for your amusement And reduce the insect population of Malaysia.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Why? The gibbon is on time, he knows his blocking, And he doesn't try to bite the dancers!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Time jump!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Don't patronize me with your Celtic slang, Liz Lemon.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "What do you care? You voted for Nader!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Then tomorrow, I'm sending a regular town car for you Instead of one of those duck tour boats.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "And you're no longer allowed to point at women In the cafeteria and yell, 'I wanna get that pregnant!'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Fine, I'll bring my lunch from home.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "[Extended mutual laughter escalation]", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "You humiliate Tracy in front of everybody like that, You give him two choices... one, he won't show up tomorrow, And you'll look like a fool in front of your crew. Or two, he will show up... and he'll find an even worse way to act out.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Paul, this is Jack, my son. Jack, this is Paul Brett.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Paul lives in Florida. He paints landscapes and he makes his own soda.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Great! I'll call the restaurant. See if they can seat a third wheel.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Now let's get outta here Before we realize we've forgotten about something.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "That wasn't me screaming in the bathroom.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Well, don't worry. Once it tries to mate with a child, I'm sure animal control will just shoot it.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Oh, he loves me! Somebody loves me. I'm gonna name him little Jenna And let him live in my dressing room.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "When the waiter brought over the food, he said, 'abbondanza.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Have you ever been to Florida? It's basically a criminal population. It's America's Australia.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Let's...Not make this about you, okay?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "You know, this food area Is always the first place I go to look for you...", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Professional is my middle name. No need. I've got it memorized.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "I'm going to do a Valentino cross, Camera right, then dump the laugh. So stay on your fours, guys! One, two, three, jump and pose!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Not Indians. Not whatever this guy is.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "I'm taking a photography class. Look at the way the sunlight hits that cobweb.", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "For instance, I'm wearing a child's Halloween costume Under this.", "c": ["Len (Private Investigator)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "His costume is hiding his erection.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "She bit off my nut sack That I kept tied around my belt to feed squirrels.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "I realize I'm never getting married Because of my gland thing... But I wanna have a bachelor party.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "It's like orange-flavored egg! It's in my mouth!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Well, I pay you a little less, yes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "That's the quantum leap intro.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Who would be our current Nikita Khrushchev? Mm...Simon Cowell?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Now you're standing on the very spot Where Gracie Allen took Jack Paar's virginity.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Little Jenna had a baby last night.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Let's go see some naked daughters and moms!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "I bet you can, you son of a bitch.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "My credit card company called to confirm My purchase of a book entitled intercourse after hip surgery.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "That's right. I just called you a communist.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "It's Florida, Jack! It's like it never stopped being the '70s down there.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "It's Florida, Jack! It's like it never stopped being the '70s down there. And a guy like Paul, who can drive at night, You just don't say no to that!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "That man left and came back so many times That I totally lost count! One night, he went out to move the car, And he was gone... From the spring of '57 until... One night he just showed up out of the blue! 'put your shoes on, Collie. We're goin' to see some like it hot.'", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "You're nothing like him, you know. No way you ever could be.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "It's, uh, 6:00.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Say you like my body.", "c": ["Stripper"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "[crying] I don't wanna be here! I don't like it here! Who's this guy?", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "You said you loved me! Your foot fingers are so strong!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "One of those strippers took of Lutz's shirt. That gland thing is no joke!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "We're dressing monkeys up as people, And monkeys are playing with people as toys!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "The gibbon did not attack Jenna. He was trying to mate with her face.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "1959. Boy, it would have been fun to write back then. You could get away with crazy plot twists Because audiences were so much less sophisticated.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "This movie came out in 1959? How could my father have been gone From the spring of '57 until 1959 if I was conceived in '58... Jimmy Donaghy's not my father.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "This movie came out in 1959? How could my father have been gone From the spring of '57 until 1959 if I was conceived in '58...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "[gasps] Twist!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Natural Order"}, {"t": "Jack mentions Liz's memo about including more catchphrases, then delivers an absurd example about leaving in boxers and returning in briefs being 'a dealbreaker, ladies'", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Wearing an Atlanta Falcons jersey to your sister's wedding as another 'dealbreaker' scenario", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Jack's over-the-top Italian stereotype impression: 'I'm Jack and I don't know who my father is. I'm very emotional and want to smash these barrels'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Jack's dark definition of family: 'Resentment, guilt, Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "'You know what family means to me, Lemon? Grudges, guilt...'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Jack wants to whisper something cutting in his mother's ear while she's dying", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Liz's Sims reference: when a child doesn't see their father enough, they act erratically and eventually wet themselves", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Liz's sad question: 'Why don't I have any other friends?'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Tracy is practicing sitting when Jack enters", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Tracy's logic about his dead father: if he were alive, he'd be living in Tracy's house taking $200k annually to mow the lawn", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Tracy's bizarre guess about Jack's secret: he bought a motorcycle sidecar but his dog refuses to sit in it", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Tracy's admission: 'It wasn't easy saying that. I struggled to say that sentence'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Tracy's elaborate metaphor about feeling shocked and scared 'like a dog in a sidecar when it detaches from the motorcycle'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Gina's excitement about Brett Michaels wanting to use her catchphrase and wear matching outfits", "c": ["Gina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "SportsCenter using the dealbreaker phrase: 'Rangers playing dirty hockey - that's a dealbreaker, ladies!'", "c": ["Gina"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "'You know who else likes Deal Breakers? Bret Michaels!'", "c": ["Gina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Tracy's announcement of reading about his illegitimate son in 'Black Contractors and Butts' magazine", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Tracy repeats the sidecar metaphor again about media hawks discovering the story", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 4.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Tracy introduces his son Donald: 'I want you kids to meet a bastard - my little bastard Donald Jordan'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "'Can you give me a thousand dollars for something I need?'", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Len mentions giving his gun to a priest in case he gets depressed again", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "I know, but I have a hard time guessing the age of black Americans. Black shoes are the best shoes.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Liz's 'Mamma Mia' reference and Jack's confusion leading to her explanation of the ABBA musical", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "'It's like the movie Mamma Mia' / 'What?' / 'Nothing, don't push it, let it happen, there'll be a Mamma Mia'", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "'Listen Tracy, you're 39 years old, right?' / 'Of course, why would I lie about my age? I work in entertainment'", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Liz and Kenneth testing Tracy's age with Rob Base's 'It Takes Two' - Tracy performs it perfectly despite claiming to be 39", "c": ["Liz", "Kenneth", "Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Donald's birth certificate that Tracy 'printed for him' and leaving a check blank as requested", "c": ["Tracy", "Donald"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "'And you left the check blank like I asked'", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "'Are you ready to meet them?' / 'Yes' / 'Jack, meet George Park, he's Korean'", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Fred's war story about a grenade exploding in his genitals, making his privates look 'like a plate of spaghetti'", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Gina getting a Time Out magazine photoshoot to be named 'Most Whimsical Woman in New York' for no reason", "c": ["Gina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Liz's description of her late-night writing process: eating dry bran raisin to stay awake and taking the 'fart train' to work", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Liz saving half a muffin 'to eat later' and the observation about what 21-year-old wraps half a muffin", "c": ["Liz", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Kenny's magazine subscription pitch using 'S and M' as abbreviation for 'Magical and Marvelous'", "c": ["Kenny", "Donald"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Kenneth's casual mention of trying to steal his dead neighbor's identity because 'sometimes things get overwhelming' and he might need to 'get in the car and drive away'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "'Don't get me started. My cousin killed everyone at his work'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Milton's family description: 'The Greens are very sharp until the very end, which makes the end more terrifying. My father died screaming'", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "'The Greens are very sharp right up until the end, which makes the end more terrifying. My father died screaming'", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Jack's angry outburst: 'Screw you and screw your crappy contest!'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "The photographer suggesting Liz and Gina 'act a little weird' for some shots, leading to prop comedy", "c": ["Photographer", "Liz", "Gina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "The photographer asking Liz to 'imitate a chicken farting' for the shot", "c": ["Photographer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Donald's distress call: 'Help mama's baby! Help mama's baby!' while running away", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Milton's insult about Jack's shoes: asking when his religious cult will commit suicide", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Discovery that Donald is 40 years old, making him older than Tracy", "c": ["Liz", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Tracy's admission: 'Liz Lemon, I may hug people warmly and get lost in malls, but I'm not stupid'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Tracy comparing Donald to John Travolta's character in 'Grease': attractive, charismatic, and off the straight path", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Donald spent Kenneth's chess set money on condoms for the boys at the community center", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "The karate school is named 'Tracy Jordan Karate for Black People'", "c": ["Donald", "Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Liz on the magazine cover giving birth to a chicken over a toilet", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Magazine cover showing Liz birthing a chicken over a toilet", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Milton's story about not being able to pay rent so he gave Colleen 'something else' - a radio, then later they got drunk and had sex", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Milton's immediate request after the father-son reunion: 'I need a kidney transplant'", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Mamma Mia"}, {"t": "Of course, I was a kidney in my fifth grade school play.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "# Oh, I'm the kidney... # The other kidney is singing now.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Milton needs a kidney. Milton, as in your dad? My dad? I don't know this guy.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "And since Giuliani left, it's gotten tougher to harvest hobo organs.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "# The brain helps you make decisions... #", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Give me my money, you bitch! Never! [screaming]", "c": ["Jenna", "Courtney"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "And I was all like, 'talk to the hand.' You give me back my man, bitch! Never!", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "[Laughs] 'Kidney' is just such a funny word.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "This is incorrect, doctor. I'm not giving him a kidney. It's the other way around.", "c": ["Milton", "Leo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "No, I'll remember. Opposite, opposite, opposite.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "I think it's the hard 'K' sound that's making me giggle. Kidney.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "And they said you can drop up to five 'f-bombs.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Because Frank Lucas High School was a hellhole. A drug dealer named Campbell, he ruled that school.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Campbell was actually Mr. Campbell, his science teacher. His science teacher was a drug dealer?", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Science was my most favorite subject especially the Old Testament.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Mr. Campbell wanted him to dissect a frog. Tracy couldn't do it. He cried in front of the whole class.", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Just like Peter did to Jesus in Science.", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "That actually happened to Liz. Vontella don't care who Liz is.", "c": ["Jenna", "Vontella"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "You have sexually-transmitted crazy mouth. Dealbreaker.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Nope, your fianc\u00e9's gay. Look at him. Look at you. Classic case of 'fruit blindness.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Sir, have you ever kissed a gentleman? Uh... one time in college. And a lot since then.", "c": ["Liz", "Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Yeah, he thinks he deserves a 'va-jay-jay upgrade.' He doesn't, he's not Tom Brady.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Yeah, there's no such thing as bisexual. That's just something they invented in the '90s to sell hair products.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Only one snake in the bed. Dealbreaker.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "It's true! There is no Baby! I was chicken! I was chicken!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "A guy crying about a chicken and a baby? I thought this was a comedy show.", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "[Crying]: Don't die! I love you, Jack! [various crying clips]", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "I have a wolf dog, I have two bad knees and a gun... that I lost.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "We let things fester until they erupt in inappropriate anger preferably during a wedding or elementary school graduation.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "I have great seats in the section between the players' wives and players' mistresses. But I don't go on Bat Day.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "No, that's a ball he fouled off in the third inning. Huh.", "c": ["Milton", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "No, that's a ball he fouled off in the third inning.", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "We called him Mean Steve, but his real name was Steven Killer.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Because you're not a bad-bleep O.G. You're a sensitive artist.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "I was really looking forward to putting your father's kidney in you. The other way around, Leo.", "c": ["Leo", "Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "The same manipulation machine that got people to vote for Barack Obama and donate all that money after Rainstorm Katrina.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Like 'We Are the World' or Weird Al Yankovic's less successful parody benefit, 'We Are the Pizza.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "I haven't seen that many riled-up dirt bags since CVS put the cold medicine behind the counter.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Suburban seventh graders have more sexual experience than you do but that doesn't matter.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "[Laughs] What do you think this is, Wings?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "My Mary J. Blige Foundation is celebrating its 10th year of searching for the Loch Ness Monster.", "c": ["Mary J. Blige"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Well, musicians have banded together before to solve all kinds of problems: world hunger, the collapse of the American farm, global warming... and, uh... you're 0 for 3, guys.", "c": ["Clay Aiken", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Elvis, haven't you said that if a song reaches just one person, you've done your job? No, I've never said that.", "c": ["Jack", "Elvis Costello"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Who got you out of a 20-year exclusive performance contract at SeaWorld?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "And Elvis, or should I say, Declan McManus... international art thief...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "And I'm here in New York while he's back in Hooglanderveen. Long distance is the wrong distance, Sue.", "c": ["Paula", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Not on my watch, biotch. / 'S' that 'D.' Shut it down. Dealbreaker.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "No to the way to the Jose. / Long distance is the wrong distance, Sue. Dealbreaker.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Cerie, I have two words for you: robot warning. Okay, that catch-phrase needs a little work. Dealbreaker!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "And I guarantee you, every single person in this room will one day be President of the United States.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Okay, but I'm allergic to horses.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Okay, but I'm allergic to horses.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "I actually played a kidney in my fifth grade school play... with this loser.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Do you know if there's a sit-down Quizno's in Midtown? Never mind.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "It's a working farm and I'm the only one whose hands are big enough to guide the bull during mating.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "You know why I get a hotel room? To poop in peace. No kids banging on the door. No phones ringing. It's my time... every Tuesday and Thursday at 3:00 P.M.!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "I don't know why I only go twice a week. That's what Angie should be worried about!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "I only have $300 million.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "[Thinking]: And so began the craziest summer of my life. How'd you say that without moving your mouth?", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "I have this weird loose feeling in my shoulders. What is that? It's either happiness or osteoporosis.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "We were best friends in elementary school.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Milton Greene needs a kidney, just like I need this beard. You don't want to know what's under here.", "c": ["Elvis Costello"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "Think of it this way: if I had $2, I'd give you one. Wouldn't I? I'm one of the drunk ones.", "c": ["Clay Aiken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "If you had two heads, you'd wish you had one / If you had two dogs attacking you, you'd want just one / There, we proved a point", "c": ["Elvis Costello"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "A hand would be an even harder thing to give. If you can give a kidney...", "c": ["Singer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "What are you talking about? It's May. Shh.", "c": ["Singer", "Singer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Kidney Now!"}, {"t": "I'm so happy to see all of you and to welcome you to Season Four. Which is, of course, the name of this restaurant", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Cheesy Blasters jingle and Meat Cat flies away on his skateboard", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "All of America is America", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Then how come I got sued for sexual harassment at it?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Don't look at me in the eyes!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "I better talk to Rabbi Shmuley about this", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "The best way for a lady to get heat in this industry is to either record a country album or have a lesbian relationship", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "We'll trick those race-car-loving wideloads into watching your lefty, homoerotic propaganda hour yet", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Well, you just don't like anybody, do you?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Uh, he's burning money again", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Right, Josh, I forgot about that guy. You think that's a good sign?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Our new mammogram machine is called the 'Git-Er-Done 2000'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Another actor? Why, they have so many feelings and opinions?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "They never did find her earlobe", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Pete's stealing money. Liz's uterus fell out.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "So naturally, you came to me because this company is just the two of us", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "As the Hill People say, 'Parcell gaw say del go up de saw say'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Today's my birthday", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Dah don say da bay ton daw", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Kenneth? Boo! Thank you, sir.", "c": ["Jack", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Nothing. Uterus nothing.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "You two have built a protective shell around me like a hermit crab or a mermaid boobie", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "And then your wife starts getting all mad because the roof won't close and the bed that's in the shape of your face is getting rained on?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Can I feel the rough skin on your hands?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Um... which one is the elevator I'm not afraid of?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Hey, he's got a girl's middle name too", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "I'm picking up my 'new tritionist' and his elderly son", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "All those zeros. It's downright un-American.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "'Bonus' means 'extra'. I know that from game shows.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "That's where you're wrong, Kenneth. It's extremely American. My talents are more valuable than yours, so I'm paid accordingly.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "I would like you to sign your name to a piece of paper that says, 'I am a big, ol' liar.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "I am in the middle of a raging period! Of economic turmoil.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "What do we want? To get you sandwiches! When do we want it? Whenever will be convenient for you!", "c": ["Pages"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Do you know the song 'Are You Ready For Some Football?' Do I? That's what my phone plays whenever Ray Lewis calls me.", "c": ["Jack", "Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "What sports does N.B.C. have these days? Oh, off-season tennis.", "c": ["Jenna", "Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Whatever religious undergarment Kenneth wears is in a twist", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "I think he's a friend. Uh... Oh, never mind. There's a door, I'm out. Oh, it's sunny!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Are you a large child or a small adult? You look regular.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Do you have change for a $10,000 bill?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "I would like some chicken nuggets, a beer, and some of my wife's rice, to stay.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "It's like I tell my assistant. Your weight is a reflection on me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "How do you kill a snake? You cut off the head. Of course! Thank you. Now I won't be afraid to go into my garage.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "They used to call me the Chameleon. Because of my slender frame and my big, wet eyes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "It's an L.L. Bean child's wallet from the 1970s. There's no money in it, but I was one hole-punch away from a free Tasti D-Lite.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Yes, she will give it back to you when he goes home and gets it from her wife.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Yes, yes, we are doing it. No! So there you go, case closed. Pete and I are intercoursing each other.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Liz, I found your wallet in what our children call 'the big, wed cawr'.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "If this is what Pete needs, I would be willing to welcome you into our lovemaking.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Pete, I know that I haven't been very sexual since my mother died.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "I don't need this show, because I could get a job tomorrow in the Air Force!", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "That's incorrect! Lift with your legs!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "They are a blanket union that includes mall Santas, horse whisperers, and bucket drummers.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "I'm organizing a viral protest on 'Tweeter' and 'Youtubes'.", "c": ["Brandon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "What show are you assigned to again? Donahue.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Brandon"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Meet my new friends, 'Nobody', and his wife, 'Susan Walters-Hyphen-Nobody'.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Once I'm vested, I'm out of here.", "c": ["Bucket drummer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "\u266a It's tennis night in America \u266a \u266a Grab some buds and some brews, it's going to be a fight \u266a", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "I came in here to shoot these tennis promos, and they had blue gels on the lights. You know that makes my teeth look see through.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "If it is a blonde woman, I will kill myself!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "He was impervious to the charms of the 'Nympho Coed'. Charlene LaRue.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Would you like something to eat? I have some leftover turtle meat from dinner. Or as you would call it, 'bonus' turtle meat.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "There's a bar in the shower that the previous tenant installed to keep from slipping. He still died in there, though.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Those glasses are for display only.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Sir, you sound like the mall Santas when they come back from lunch.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "That's the one where Tracy tore up that picture of the Pope. In his defense, it was Pope Innocent the Fourth. Because he increased taxation in the Papal States.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "Because I've had the Cheesy Blasters for three days.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "I am a big, 'ol liar.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "A piece of paper that I can't really tell you about! Was this strike just over a personal thing between you and Mr. Donaghy? Massage it, Kenneth. No, it wasn't!", "c": ["Kenneth", "Striker", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "\u266a So put down your meth and slip on your whites \u266a", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Season 4"}, {"t": "i wrote that! i'm liz lemon.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 4.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "if your man is over 30, and still wears a nametag to work, that's a dealbreaker. but not you, mike. that's not you. mike, leave my cutout alone.", "c": ["Liz", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "okay, you know, i'm gonna do the same thing to your cutout. oh, wait, you don't have one, because you're nobody.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "blam-o! another successful interaction with a man!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "i'll be sure to go see fonzie's jacket. you sit on it as well.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "hey, if you're going to d.c., i lost my retainer there during a junior high field trip.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "lemon numbers among my employees.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "and now, your president-who, by the way, is kenyan and smokes cigarettes", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "and she told her daddy she was doin' the microwave / do the microwave", "c": ["Unknown singer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "did that happen?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "and catch the afternoon bus back to chinatown.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "i took it out to eat astronaut ice cream at the air and space museum.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "last weekend, i picked up this girl after practicing jedi moves in prospect park. also a dealbreaker. i took her back to my house on the handlebars of my bike. as is that. snuck her inside, past my mom. wow, that's four.", "c": ["Frank", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "also, my girlfriend is mad. in canada.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "really? i did big sister in college. that little girl taught me how to use tampons.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "oh, no, this big brother isn't affiliated with the mentoring program. it's an organization that secretly watches people and makes sure they're behaving properly.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "this is actually a werewolf picture that, for tax reasons, is shooting in iceland.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "i play a moon scientist who's trying to get to the bottom of things, and who-spoiler alert-may herself be a werewolf.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "i've just always wanted to shoot a student werewolf movie in iceland, where i'm filling in last-minute for victoria beckham.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "liz lemon! you booger face! i'm gonna kill you with a bazooka!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "a book hasn't caused me this much trouble since where's waldo went to that barber pole factory.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "let's hit the meadowlands racetrack on the way home. i've got a betting system based on horse penis size.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "yes, and no. yes, that did happen. no, it didn't not happen.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "when silly willy's fee was amortized over all birthdays companywide-", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "yes, but i have a system.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "why do you have a gavel? this isn't the congress. i brought it from home.", "c": ["Jack", "Banks"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "so instead of going to a hotel, or my houseboat, which i cannot find, i'm staying with the woman that started this problem in the first place.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "oh, yeah, there's a garbage bag in the hallway with a reef shark in it. just put him in the tub with a reef.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "i never even had a dog, 'cause, as my mom would say, you can't eat love.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "and as my mom's friend ron would say, 'the donkey died. you're the donkey now, kenneth. just another animal. might as well be a rat. an adorable rat, who shows you it's okay to be scared during a thunderstorm.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "you know, revenge is a dish best served cold, jack. like...sashimi. or pizza.", "c": ["Banks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "you prefer cold pizza? the morning after, it's the best. better than hot pizza? that's insane. you don't tell me what kind of pizza to like.", "c": ["Banks", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "oh, my god, malia, he did not say that! let's text him now.", "c": ["Banks"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "even to the world's gayest country, ireland.", "c": ["Banks"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "by the time i'm done, you're gonna make aig look like the lehman brothers of microwaves.", "c": ["Banks"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "think of the pensions, the employees, the kittens we use to test microwave strength.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "donaghy saves g.e., marries your mom.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "laser shield.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "tracy and liz's residence. tracy speaking.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "well, iceland appears to have a different sun than america, because this one is not setting.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "and you probably don't know this, because you've never played a moonologist", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "yes, i remember that from the thriller video. too soon.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "i'm told tomorrow night we may get as much as a minute of darkness.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "if it could be programmed to ask you about your day? before you answer, consider your loneliness.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "no, i don't. i don't even know why you brought that thing.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "no, i don't.i don't even know why you brought that thing.", "c": ["Liz Lemon"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "if your man owns a diamond necklace that says open marriage, that's a dealbreaker!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "all you can do is turn the heat up, pour some whisky in their juice, and wait for sleep to save you.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "well, that's not gonna work for me, because jenna is immune to whisky, and tracy is afraid of juice.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "what if microwaves broke down more easily, so people would have to buy new ones more often?", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "wow, that sounds exactly like the philosophy that almost destroyed the u.s. auto industry.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "this isn't the auto industry, pete. the auto industry was run by a bunch of out-of-touch white guys selling consumers a product they didn't want. we're g.e., damn it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "for...get it. four smaller doors.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "the right! you hait in the rit.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "she doesn't like to refill the brita. i will cut the baby in half. and i will take the top half. for this is the part with the face.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "and i will take the top half.for this is the part with the face.", "c": ["Jack Donaghy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "so fighting every natural instinct, doing the thing that seemed most awful to me, i climbed down into the darkness.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "cone chung, you did the right thing. thank you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "i have mercury poisoning from obsessively taking my rectal temperature.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "okay, it's a car. we've invented the pontiac aztec.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "okay, it's a car.we've invented the pontiac aztec.", "c": ["Jack Donaghy"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "the curious case of benjamin butt.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "i'ma do us? what does that even mean? that's a pun on amadeus, dummy.", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "until you're adequately debased, you will subsidize my predilection for erotica.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "oh, yeah, and i used your credit card to buy a vocabulary course from the teaching company.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "tracy is producing a porno based on my life. and i'm writing it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "not with a bang, but with a whimper. a whimper indeed, jack.", "c": ["Jack", "Jonathan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "i'll have you know that barry diller and i are working on a whole new approach to media, combining digital technology with god!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "but if you had forced me to take government bailout money, you'd be my boss. oh, my.", "c": ["Jack Donaghy", "Banks"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "your hands sticky from candy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "i'm honestly not trying to make this sound gay. no one is. it's just happening.", "c": ["Banks", "Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "jenna...you're my friend. no matter what. i will always look after you. that's not going to change.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "oh, liz, thank you for giving me the hotter porn lady.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "my retainer. now my dad won't be mad at me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "and cut. this is disgusting. shut it down.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "and cut.this is disgusting.shut it down.", "c": ["Liz Lemon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Into The Crevasse"}, {"t": "I had to give up my window seat to some sevenyearold who had to sit next to her precious mommy.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "You're not going to find him in the people's gaypublic of drugifornia.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Canada? Why not just go to iraq?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Jack,just say Jewish. This is taking forever.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Who wants... my puddings!", "c": ["Unknown performer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Fred dawkins,the incredibly overweight guy that pacman was based on died last night.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "I will eat a bowl of cherries and some ghost meat in his honor.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Orange and black decorations? Is this halloween or princeton parents' weekend? I don't know whether to be scared or proud of my cousin.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "But at least he died doing what he loved... blogging on the huffington post.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "This is gonna be the scariest princeton parents' weekend ever!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Start over,you hack!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna be pushed aside and forgotten, like that time at my sister's funeral.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "as her own grandma hutchins.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "I don't really remember the brady bunch,'cause I was too young.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Although when the parcells first came to America, they lived in a town called sexcriminalboat.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Two hobos sharing a bean... lady airline pilots.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "You see,the chuckle is the part of the pig between the tail and the anus.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Hey,I work across the street, and I saw you guys are having a halloween party. Yeah,we are. Could you close your blinds? You're really bumming all of us out.", "c": ["Neighbor", "Writer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Up is down. Black is white. Good is evil. And evil... becomes good.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "like going bald with dignity.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "And I don't know what this means, but he said the Island is just Hurley's dream.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Oh,wow,they painted the ceiling in here.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "But there are not restaurants called fatty fat sandwich ranch.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "which you might know better as a knish or a beignet.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "All of humankind has one thing in common... the sandwich.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "What a surprise... your world view is foodbased.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Which is why I will have the carp po'boy with extra chuckle.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Keep refreshing. Maybe Andy dick has died in the last 20 seconds.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Tracy! I haven't seen you since that rappinggrandma movie we did. You were so funny as the rapping grandma.", "c": ["Betty White"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "You were so funny as the rapping grandma.", "c": ["Betty White"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "I will bury you.", "c": ["Betty White"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "No,it's not because we're from new York. We're all the same sandwiches.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Oh,wait,they already have. It's called Manhattan. Down here we call it sexcriminalboat.", "c": ["Hotel Clerk"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Down here we call it sexcriminalboat.", "c": ["Hotel clerk"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "We kiss each other,get into vans,black out.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "I mean,I'm engaged,but not on halloween.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "God,are you doing this to me 'cause I took that blind guy's hot dog?", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "What is this? 'peppy bismilk'?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Why is everything a little different here?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "choir member,desert storm veteran,father of three?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Your truck don't yell at you every time you get gas.", "c": ["Pumpkin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Hey,Rick,what's the difference between your girlfriend and your truck? I don't know,pumpkin. What is the difference? Your truck don't yell at you every time you get gas.", "c": ["Rick Wayne", "Pumpkin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Girl,I don't even have the energy to tell you what's happening here,so read my face.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "has been hired by a catholic to appear on tgs with a black fella.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "'Schwupps ginny pale'?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "like matlock... or wholesome,like elly mae clampett. And some of them are skeevy dirt bags like the dukes of hazzard, driving around like maniacs. Children use those roads.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "They named it Jack. And it was delicious.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.63, "im": 9.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "When did you find time to eat a diaper that you found on the beach?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Pete hornberger Alan Parsons project project.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Get it? I'm an Italian senator.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Are we cowabunga on this?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "I don't go down to where you work and stop them from milking you.", "c": ["Pumpkin"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Well,I'm an amateur astronomer,and Rick's black wife speaks French.", "c": ["Pumpkin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Do you ever find smaller heads orbiting your head?", "c": ["Pumpkin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "I can't. I got a man's arm stuck up me. But you know what that's like.", "c": ["Pumpkin"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "Oh,God,he's murdering me. His head is so much bigger up close!", "c": ["Pumpkin"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Stone Mountain"}, {"t": "call it the hornberger system", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Elizabeth lemon, I am represented by suzanne's b-plus talent", "c": ["Unknown auditionee"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "At your age, it's probably the last time you'll ever make a man happy", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "that's true, liz is old", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "tgs is a small pyramid, which nevertheless will one day be your tomb", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "It's as useless as the winter olympics. This february on nbc.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Like katrina. do you remember katrina? That crazy girl from hair and make-up?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "And i will get onstage and people will laugh even when i forget my, um, my--line. lines.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "i was trigorin in the seagull On the wesleyan artspace mainstage", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "miss lemon did say, 'keep this away from jenna.' But she may have meant the jenna that works downstairs at that luggage store", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Ozark kisses? the woodsman's companion?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Back in stone mountain, even the mayor had bedbugs. And she was a horse.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Mr. donaghy's got blue ridge quilt ticklers. Oh, sorry. bedbugs", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "The great uta hagen once said... is why i'd like to audition for tgs", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Walter, you idiot. you lost a card.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "i thank you for treating my requests with respect", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "congratulations on your nomination. For worst supporting bra!", "c": ["Jayden"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "hey, mom, it's walter. I'm just calling to tell you they cancelled the audition, so maybe pray on something else", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Cisco, the human network", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "I can hear your hair growing on this thing", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "You know my fontanelle never closed", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Did you just use cisco's cutting edge Suremute technology to mute me?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Like a neighborhood dad garage band", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "floodgate wheels are horizontal!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Like a neighborhood dad garage band", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "'ey, fuhgeddaboutit", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "he's evil tracy? Oh, he's evil 'comma' tracy", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "i once saw that guy become trigorin At the wesleyan artspace.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "A taxicab!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "You have mugabe's concubines. No, bedbugs!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "I am an executive with the general electric corporation and i just need to get my medicine", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "no, not since i was a child", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "[growls] - no! bad! Sorry. it's a little crazy here today", "c": ["Liz", "Unknown auditioner"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "the australian jackie mason Was chemically castrated by his government", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "my mom used to send me articles about How older virgins are considered good luck in mexico", "c": ["Jayden"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "i'm not gay. i'm bi-larious!", "c": ["Unknown auditionee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "kolandra! kolandra!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "it's a seagull", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "i don't think you did, sir. I've just got the one pair, and i sleep in them", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "et tu, Kenneth?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "and this is a reimbursement form for my gas. I drove a million miles", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "was describing your sandwich necessary To our understanding of what happened?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Scorsese: let me tell you one thing about jayden. I love jayden. Walken: i love jayden. Gottfried: i love jayden!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "The hornberger system will de-vail. Is that the opposite of prevail?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "i'm gonna walk up to him And say the four most vicious words You can say to a person you've already met. 'nice to meet you.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "The hornberger system will de-vail. Is that the opposite of prevail?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "nice to meet you", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "what are you, a robot?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "I'll need an obama wig", "c": ["Anthony"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Frank rossitano. queens, new york. I guess dreams can come true", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "for my first character, i'd like to do an old janitor Who's finally had enough and stabs everybody!", "c": ["Unknown auditionee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "how dare you pretend you don't remember me! I'm the one who doesn't remember you!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "how dare you pretend you don't remember me! I'm the one who doesn't remember you!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Oh, god, forgive me! I call this character smelly belly", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "hey, dotcom. nice to meet you", "c": ["Jayden"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "have you ever wondered what happens In the refrigerator after the light goes off? Does the milk say, 'let's go down to the crisper drawer And make trouble'? I don't know. fuhgeddaboutit", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "I don't know. fuhgeddaboutit", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "growing up in bed-stuy, there was a certain music To the way people talked. 'hey, papi Whatchoo doin'?' I'm sorry, can i start over? Someone really messed with my head right before i came on", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "My first piece will be a dinner party At martin scorsese's house with christopher walken And gilbert gottfried", "c": ["Jayden"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "[as christopher walken] thank you for inviting us, Martin. [as gilbert gottfried] i brought wine!", "c": ["Jayden"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "give...it up. I figured out... your game", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "your fingerprints are all over my camera", "c": ["Jayden"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "[maniacal laughter]", "c": ["Jayden"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "It's just that you've never been right before. About anything", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "A grotesque carnival of human misery", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "to be fair, i did not think kathy geiss Was gonna finish her song by taking off her underpants", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "They handed in a check request form For $600,000 worth of gas", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Care. love. live", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Care. love. live", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "Boy, i hope he speaks english. Yikes", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Audition Day"}, {"t": "I was in Beijing this weekend, buying a reality show for a network where criminals dance their way to freedom.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "dealbreaker: the book for you man no good,by lesbianyellowsourfruit.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I don't think his real name is partybot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Just hit your marks, stay in your light, and do the same thing every take for continuity.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "\u266a makin' a new friend \u266a \u266a sure ain't easy \u266a \u266a and that's how two become one \u266a", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I do, i bought an activia microwavable panini.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Good god, have dinner with me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I hope he likes janitor hugs.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "What? No, it's me, lutz. I've worked here for three years. I gave you that car i won.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "So guess there's two jacks here now. I don't think there are.", "c": ["Danny", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Did he just change my name?", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Last week, i was just a street performer making 50 bucks a day and getting memory loss from all the silver paint fumes", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "and now i'm... Um... You're on tgs. I'm on tgs?", "c": ["Danny", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "All right, hosers, i want all 12 of us fighting for every meter on all three downs! We're gonna make this a boxing day the prime minister will never forget!", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Yad sdrawkcab tsuj s'ti sseug i,yako.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Two questions: must i live by superman's moral code, and will the sex woman get older? Yes and yes. Forget it. No deal.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "What am i going to do next? What am i going to do next?", "c": ["Jack", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Spit take. Are you serious?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "i knew you would say yes,lemon. i knew you would say yes,lemon.", "c": ["Jack", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "That's why when someone comes to me with something i don't want to deal with, i say,'oh, no, my kid's sick,' and take off. You have any kids? No.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "no, my kid is sick.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Liz lemon, you are blowing up like a balloon with a grenade in it.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Do you remember when i was first starting out, and i signed a tenyear deal with that karaoke machine company?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Wade bogg's carpet world. Wade bogg's carpet world. Wade bogg's carpet world.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "He knows you're special, like a black stripper with blue eyes.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Wade bogg's carpet world.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I feel about as useless as a mom's college degree.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I was thinking something like this.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "My book is number 14 on the nonfiction bestseller chart, right behind the founding fathers' diet.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Raise your hand if you're cool with what's happening. Not too late to raise your hand.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "That was no. Just, heh, call him and tell him i'm on my way. Do i look okay? That's exactly how you look.", "c": ["Liz", "Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "until now, i've mainly represented dogs, but seeing as how we're both embarking on a new phase in our career performing, representing humans and monkeys", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "My clients are more important to me than my own mommy.", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "a former client of mine once buried a bone in his backyard. We go looking for that bone, it's like, 'oh, mr. Shofar, what's up? My client has got an idea for a talk show.'", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Any room you see around here with a door, you make it your bathroom.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I'm not 'aboot' to... Aboot... Abwah... Out.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "So what if kenneth's bitter? He's an underhuman.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Kenneth in charge? Crazier things have happened.", "c": ["Tracy", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Son of a bitch!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "What the what, jack?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I've already spoken to padma lakshmi. Then who's gonna host top chef?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Who said i've been alive forever?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Just kidding. There won't be a network. But whatever people are watching, i want to be in charge of it.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "No! I'll brush my own teeth.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Never do business with a friend. Never be friends with a woman. And lose the leather bracelet.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Oh, my kid got hit by a car!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "You're not really capturing the sexual energy of it, but that was the message.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I haven't even begun to problem.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Yeah, i've seen some bras.", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "An wang, the founder of wang computers, is one of the greatest businessmen of the 20th century.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "And i didn't get a bathroom door that looks like part of a wall by being bad at business.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "That's a bathroom?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Damn it, simon!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "All white people look the same to me, pete.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "That's what danny was saying. We have to be cool to everybody. Because the future is like a japanese game show you have no idea what's going on.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Yyou know, of all the weirdos i've met around here, you're the worst! With your creepy, don knotts face, that ridiculous hitler youth haircut.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I've seen bigger chins on a premature baby!", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Nine hours. A few minutes.", "c": ["Tracy", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I wanted waffles.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Regular,six. Drunk,seven.", "c": ["Scottie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I mean, men always tell me i'm very funny. Have you heard this one? Knockknock.", "c": ["Padma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I invented this new bag that you put around a sandwich to keep it fresh. But it's clear, so you still get the full visual of the sandwich.", "c": ["Scottie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "What's up, you tall drink of bitch! You're amazing. No, seriously. Amazing.", "c": ["Scottie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "This would change my life,jack.", "c": ["Padma"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "I don't want to change your life. I want to change lemon's life.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "'Cause after all, what's a problem but an opportunity disguised as a stripper having a seizure on your boat?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Problem Solvers"}, {"t": "Oh. Haven't you heard? The building's going condo.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "They could've done, 'Geiss screams, son pay!' you know, like, ice cream sundae.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Holding up one finger to get someone to stop talking... He invented that.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Geiss also invented the abrupt conversational segue. Talk about your thing now.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "A walk-in humidor, a lap pool, and a replica of the Irish pub where my grandmother was born.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Make him an offer he can't refuse. Trademark 1974, Don Geiss.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "It's like check in at an Italian airport.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Were you gonna pee in that jar? I didn't know anyone was here. That's what you use the jars for? You told me that was sun tea. Some of them are sun tea, and some of them were sun tea.", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Some of them are sun tea, and some of them were sun tea.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "He gets the jars, and in return he's agreed to let a Yale sweatshirt be our designated fart dampener.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "We'd have a room dog named Meatus.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "I will fight my sister tooth and nail to get what I deserve because I, Bertram Geiss, am still daddy's fancy boy.", "c": ["Bertram Geiss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "where has this jar been?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "My name is Teddy Ruxpin. Can you and I be friends?", "c": ["Kathy Geiss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "If he was a monkey, then why was he killed by a monkey?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "I have these rare kadupul blossoms flown in every morning from Sri Lanka on a private jet. That's the definition of green.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Well, they make our shoes and wallets.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "But I'm gonna be grumpy until the end this sentence.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "I have a view because that dentist blew up his townhouse.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "I can't shut the flue, so the apartment smells like Burger King all day and Cinnabon all night.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "and their imaginary husband, astronaut Mike Dexter.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "based on your shoes and teeth, i'm guessing you can't either", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Like check in at an Italian sex party.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Oh, you ancient bitch!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "I know it's my turn to do the dishes, but I'm in character, and if you make me do the dishes I will kill myself!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Our topical cold open is about Omarosa borrowing Bjork's swan dress.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "It's 'take your black kid to work day.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Vanessa into a concert! Oh, no, Rudy and I are making a sandwich for 25 minutes!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Bitches can be tricky.", "c": ["Tracy Jr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Damn it! I ain't live like this! I'm getting a vasectomy too!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "this one's for my erotic massager, and this one's for something personal.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "I should warn you that general anesthesia can cause powerful hallucinations. So I highly recommend it.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "because I'll have a big breakfast waiting for you.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "I will put on a wedding dress and jump in front of a subway!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Astronaut Mike Dexter.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Drama is like gay man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "I cannot tell an amazing strip club story.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "are they just gonna put that stupid green peacock in the corner of the screen?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "You lied to me, Bill Cosby! You lied to me!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "That's why my life is not like the Cosby Show. I only have boys, and boys are disgusting!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Don't snip my vas deferens!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Even if he's gay!", "c": ["Tracy as Mike Dexter"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Like Warren Moon must've felt back in 1995!", "c": ["Tracy as Mike Dexter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "A gay hipster cop. You're an interesting guy, Brian.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "That junk is priceless.", "c": ["Tracy Jr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "'T' is for terrific, 'R' is for rad, 'A' is for awesome, 'C'... 'cause he's my dad.", "c": ["Tracy Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Why doesn't that say 'hero'? That feels like a real missed opportunity.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "What's a trash barrel but a big salad bowl filled with trash?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "You look like a turtle who lost its shell.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Why did I sell my Delorean to Mr. T?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "I hope he makes mean across helmet so I don't get hurt playing across!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "You used it to kick a gay cop out of his apartment.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Especially if they've had their boobies sneezed on by a tiger.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.", "c": ["Al Gore"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "A whale is in trouble. I have to go.", "c": ["Al Gore"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "Smell my flowers, Kenneth.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Sun Tea"}, {"t": "To catch a predator, the XFL halftime show, Storage for broken copier equipment, And now... Dealbreakers.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "\u266a I'm a star \u266a \u266a I'm on top \u266a \u266a somebody bring me some ham \u266a", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "You're like a swarthy, big-hipped Kelly Ripa.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I have to go back into space, Liz. I hope you enjoyed the kissing, followed by my genuine interest in that TV dance competition.", "c": ["Astronaut Mike Dexter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "What? No, go away. This is my fantasy, Pete!", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I knew it. You're blonde in your fantasies. It looks terrible.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Thank you! But you don't know what it looks like, because of the door!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Wow, she finally figured that out.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Oh, my god. I bet she put Charlotte up to this.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "My mother never used my beauty pageant winnings to buy her married boyfriend a motorcycle.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Lately, I've been shoplifting just to feel in control. 'cause no one knows I took the candy bar. No one but Peter.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Come over here and check out my corner. - No trap. - What? Come over here, I said... In my normal tone of voice.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "and not the one I got from eating batteries.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I mean, havin' a daughter's Like goin' to the nba all-star weekend. It changes you. Makes you want to take your wife to the doctor.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I said 'click' to distract you from the sound of the handcuffs.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Why are you handcuffed to the bookshelf I built for my husband?", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "There was a better kid's birthday party up the street!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Your hair did? You just got your hair did! You have to get your hair did again?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Maybe we could un-did these handcuffs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Oh, cracker! - Racist!", "c": ["Angie", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Now, it's not about who I like the most or who's the funniest, so it's Toofer.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "As Tennyson wrote, 'I mete and dole unequal-' No, never mind. Lutz, you want it?", "c": ["Toofer", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Too much pressure. Writers who never talk, Anyone want a promotion?", "c": ["Lutz", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "My first act as leader, I'm telling them to take down the Internet firewall. We can surf porn again.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I.M. Adouche? - I am a douche?", "c": ["Receptionist", "Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Our health care costs are way down since we started putting something in the coffee to keep women from getting pregnant.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Worse than me in capri pants... Which you'd think I'd be able to pull off 'cause I'm tall.", "c": ["Devon Banks"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "like me at the provincetown flogging festival.", "c": ["Devon Banks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Moron says what? - What?", "c": ["Devon Banks", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "What's that? I want it! I forgot why I originally came in here!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Sure. I know him from the secret black people meetings.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Nah, I'm just kiddin'. He's not invited.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "EGOT is not a person, T.J. It's a goal. It stands for Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony, Four awards that Thomas planned on winning in his career.", "c": ["Shopkeeper"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "That's a good goal for a talented crazy person.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I can't wear contacts 'cause the doctor says my eyeballs are too pointy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "What if we change your name to Veronica St. Pierre? No, that's too much.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Your hair... Is fine.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I got us all this 'EGOT' necklace for me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "and especially for little Chewbaquina Jordan.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "This machine is a genuine... 'Lasig'?", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Dear, Dr. Spaceman, thank you for your submission. The New England Journal of Medicine does not publish X-rated cartoons.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Well, why not? It's so frustrating. But at least I heard it from a friend.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "But you know what? I'm not supposed to have sex with my patients.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Your hair is... Fine.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Very funny. I'm not Liz!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "They're all composers.", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "\u266a I've started already \u266a", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Oh, actually, I got three haircuts. The first two made me look nuts.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Hey, do I say the word 'camer-ah' weird? Camer-ah.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Okay. Don't try to move the body yourself.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Jack, you don't know what it's like to be on camer-ah. You're vulnerable. You're exposed.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Not anymore. You've created two lizzes, Regular Liz and performer Liz.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Treat her like The New York Times treats its readers.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "You've just never seen my reading glasses before, which I have to wear to read your dumb sketches.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "And I lost my hat after I threw it at a bus that wouldn't stop for me, Even though the guy could see me running.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my office trying to have it all!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Great, and smile. With your mouth.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Wave like a human being. You remember waving?", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Are you spinning a basketball?", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Are you spinning a basketball?", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "The, uh, gobos are really moraying, right, pete?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "F.E.M.A. Paid for these flowers because your show is going to be a disaster.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "F.E.M.A. Paid for these flowers because your show is going to be a disaster.", "c": ["Devon Banks (via card)"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I got a tattoo that says 'freedom' in Chinese, And for what?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "You're better at this than Oprah.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I fully understand the irony of what I'm about to say, But I have locked myself in my dressing room, and I am not coming out!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "How could five of the most popular musical styles all played at once sound so bad?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Is it me, or is Liz Lemon getting hotter?", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "In the end, the police chief turns out to be the bad guy. I didn't say I wasn't going to see it.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I may as well let banks play out one of his gay home invasion fantasies on me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "And I want pizzas for all the hungry people in here!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "That's why Arlen Specter had to change parties.", "c": ["Whoopi Goldberg"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "That's why Arlen Specter had to change parties.", "c": ["Whoopi"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Wait! Is that a daytime Emmy? - It still counts. Girl's gotta eat.", "c": ["Tracy", "Whoopi Goldberg"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Colored man, put it back. Put it down.", "c": ["Whoopi Goldberg"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I've always wondered why you guys don't take the door off its hinges.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Your audience has spent the last hour listening to Kenneth tell cleaned-up versions of Garrison Keillor stories.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Hey, buddy, your hair looks nice. - Don't try those tricks on me!", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I could have had it all, But you had to ruin it With your thinking!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "You should kill yourself!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "This is how I cry now, ever since you made me get that off-brand eye surgery.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "\u266a baby girl \u266a \u266a you're the missing piece \u266a \u266a the perfect fit \u266a \u266a baby girl \u266a \u266a you're the product of doing it \u266a", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Damn it, Tracy. That's what's in your heart?", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I won't be around a lot, 'cause I'm 'EGOT'-ing.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "We're lucky people laugh when I say stuff.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "And from now on, whenever a television is on in the background of a Sheinhardt-Universal soap opera, You will be on it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be on TV on TV!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "I found it on the beach. That's me again.", "c": ["Astronaut Mike Dexter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "What is this TV show? It's very distracting.", "c": ["Astronaut Mike Dexter"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001"}, {"t": "Well, he keeps telling me that he wants skinny jeans, so Cheese of the Month Club.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Oh, I wanna take that Internet photo of her nipple slip and have it made into a jigsaw puzzle.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Meet the parents.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 4.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Now, this picture will be my pholo... Not a word. Which is a contraction for photo and hello.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Youface. Who are you facing? [chuckling] No one.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Those sites are for horny married chicks with kids who want to exchange pervy emails with their old high school boyfriends.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Well, in my family, everybody just writes down what they want and then we give it to each other and everybody has a great Christmas.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "So bath salts in a coffee mug would be... Not it.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "She doesn't give the money because she knows that the card says, 'From the cast and writers of TGS', and she'll get credit for it anyway.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I should make up new cards that say, 'Happy holidays from everyone except Jenna.' But that would require me to have some remaining life force, Danny.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "So I'm gonna go have a drink alone at the Oyster Bar.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I've been finger tagged, Lemon. Was it down by the subway entrance? 'cause I saw a gangly-looking kid down there.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "That's the year my mom was born.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "My first crush was Larry Wilcox. The blonde guy from Chips? Bowl haircut, thin lips, hoo.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Uh, this wasn't a TV crush. This was real. Oh, mine got pretty real.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I'll check her face-vault to see her previous bing-bings.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "There are definitely faces here but they are not being treated with respect.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "He takes the two worst parts of Christmas, giving and rules, and combines them!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "And then the person with the highest number gives the smallest gift to the tallest person. If they wanna switch, they cannot, unless they do. Then everyone puts their head down except the murderer.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Like I need two copies of Over 60 Vixens.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Uh, the healing power of root beer... That a man can have up to nine wives if two of them are male.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "And we always leave work to go to the movies on Merlinpeen.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I tried once. I bought him a $95 bottle of olive oil. In return, he got my sister out of a North Korean jail!", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Even if I get into law school, I won't go!", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "That's my maiden name. I keep tellin' ya. Things have changed. But not your hair. It's like a shag carpet. I wanna sit on it and play a board game.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Yeah, I did plays in high school too. I was John Proctor in The Crucible. Oh, you went to an all-girls' school? No.", "c": ["Liz", "Nancy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "We were all jealous of Lisa Alberson 'cause she got to play his horse.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "A picture of President Obama. For the muslims. I'm gonna let that one slide.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "And a bowl of meat cubes with a picture of Jimmy Connors sticking out in the tradition of Verdukianism.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Verdukianism? That doesn't make sense. Jimmy is catholic.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "\u266a oh, meat bowl of verduke \u266a \u266a you bring me such pizza \u266a", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "New dude is as good at singing as Tracy Jordan is at everything!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "For the most wonderful reason of all: Christmas vengeance.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Canadians have a hard time recognizing it 'cause we don't have a big Jewish population.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I thought you'd have some hotshot young wife with black hair who says queer stuff like, 'dressing on the side.'", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Was she a bitch or did you cheat? The former. The former? What are you, a newscaster?", "c": ["Nancy", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I'll have you know that my husband happens to be a very prominent Pakistani anesthesiologist. No, I'm kiddin' ya. He's an Irish moron. Runs a roofing company.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "So if you need your roof done, call someone else, Because my guy's... Not reliable.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I'm glad we, uh, never made out in high school. Otherwise this whole thing would be so awkward. Excuse me, we kissed every night on stage in Hey, Beantown.", "c": ["Jack", "Nancy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "But only because my mother told me that French kissing was for the Italians. They do love it.", "c": ["Nancy", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "But next thing I know you're gonna be telling me you're really blonde and have a urinary tract infection.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Because I'm so happy for you. It's definitely not a rage stroke.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Tonight is the Verdukian holiday of mouth pleasures. Misters Rossitano, Spurlock, and Lutz must have free sausage pizza followed by some gentle flossing performed by a blonde virgin.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Just a bunch of made-up rules to manipulate people. Why don't Catholics eat meat on Fridays? I'll tell you why. Because the Pope owns Long John Silver's.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "That finger touching his moustache is me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Like going to the gym drunk.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "She changed her status from 'working on it' to 'weirdsies.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Oh, shark farts!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "You are the one that's in trouble now, buddy, Because creativity to me is just like... It's like a bird, like a friendly bird that embraces all... Ideas and just, like, shoots... Out of its eyes all kinds of beauty.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Wow, Lemon, this is like watching Hemingway write. Mark Hemingway. Yeah.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "That's what I said when that hot dog vendor passed out, But you made me go get help.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "The program from this year's Asian women in television awards. Julie Chen's energy drink, Chenergize.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Sometimes my mom would take us to see Santa Claus, But that's just because she suspected one of them was my deadbeat dad.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "So I'd have to get on every santa's lap in the Bakersfield area and scream, 'you oughta be ashamed of yourself, Travis!'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "And then I'd sing carols in the middle of Sears just to create a distraction while my mom shoplifted.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "You're just a Kenny Rogers doll now.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go buy some guitar music.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Yes, but not in the way you're talking about.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "\u266a doo doo-doo-doo, doo-doo, my friend is Jack \u266a \u266a if you like his necktie, pat him on the back \u266a", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Have you not read my terrible short story, The two paths of Virginia apple?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "You know what would go real nice on that wall over there: A drawing of a frog. No. No. [silently] No.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Because somebody called in a bomb threat to Penn station? You're welcome.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Someone called in a bomb threat from your phone this morning. I renounce Verdukianism!", "c": ["Officer", "Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "My angry God is punishing them. It's a Christmas miracle.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Are you Larry Wilcox? Yes, ma'am. This evening, you have permission to call me officer John Baker.", "c": ["Liz", "Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Well, he promised to get me on Dancing with the stars. But that's on ABC. Donaghy!", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "the wine turned out to be quite toxic.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "my guests and i spent the stroke of midnight in my garden. vomiting.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "the whole night the purging,the new year, the vivid hallucinations of astarte the phoenician goddess of sex and war it all wiped the slate clean.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "randy's gay,everybody! he's gay. i think everyone knew. finally!", "c": ["Liz", "Family members"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "over the break,i forgot what floor i worked on. six,tracy. six! i knew it was a character from blossom,but i couldn't find the joey russo button.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "my client,james franco,he's actively looking for a relationship with a human woman to dispel certain unsavory rumors.", "c": ["James Franco's manager"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "does chewing on a sponge trick your brain's hunger center? yes! yes!a million times yes!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "can you believe they went to me before ayiiia from the real world: cancun?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "too late! wait,which way did you mean that?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "no,no,no,no. okay,but i was gonna describe it real good.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "as you know,on new year's,i finally met my birth parents. so. thank you for asking about that!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "damn that phoenician wine!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "which is the third best sex after elevator and white house.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "good lord,i've lemoned the situation with nancy!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "\"lemoned\"? that's not a thing people are saying now,is it? cerie? lemoned. doing it awesome.", "c": ["Liz", "Cerie"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "this movie will never be released because my performance will be deemed \"too provocative for america.\" oh,i wish i lived in france.", "c": ["James Franco"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "and because of a product placement deal with jamba juice,the fight will be in a jamba juice.", "c": ["James Franco"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "neither am i,liz! which is why it's so weird the tabloids are running all these stories saying i'm in love with a body pillow.", "c": ["James Franco"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "why? i mean,why is this table here? i mean,why is that lamp here? kimiko is it is here like any other object.", "c": ["James Franco"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "objects are made by men and used for many purposes. but we never love objects.", "c": ["James Franco"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "nope.that's a serial killer. just get a cab.i'll pay for it. you have amish here?", "c": ["Liz", "Randy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "i'm going to drive up to waltham,massachusetts,break into a woman's home, and erase a potentially embarrassing and destructive answering machine message. the home in questions has a doggy door. that will be our way in.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "prove that you are lithe enough to accompany me to waltham.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "you sicken me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "i know it's a girl,liz lemon,because i yelled \"susan b.anthony\" at the moment of conception.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "so we gonna name her either virginia,netjet,or bathroom at teterboro airport.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "the gossip blogs are calling us \"james.\" it's a combination of jenna and james.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "having ice cold diarrhea from drinking too much jamba juice it's everything i ever wanted.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "that happens sometimes when i unhinge my pelvis.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "it'll be like the da vinci code. ehh albino monk! that's a mirror,kenneth.", "c": ["Jack", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "i just took my picture with that little camera thing. kenneth! all right. i just need to erase that picture. whoops,i just made it the desktop image.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "that's where i'm meeting them later - a bar called \"home butt.\" no,you're not.", "c": ["Randy", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "the local tv station edited will & grace down so much that it was just called karen.", "c": ["Randy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "your hand feels like a pillow that's been in the microwave.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "i thought it was a paparazzo,but it's just some loser taking a picture of his kid.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "kimiko taught me that.", "c": ["James Franco"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "if you type \"nancy's secrets\" into the internet,do you have any idea what comes up? a store that sells wig extensions.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "he was eventually arrested by israeli commandos.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "did you not learn your nation's airport codes in high school?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "that's the most divorced sentence i've ever heard.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "oh,my god,did you go out last night after i won the sleeping contest?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "is it gonna be fierce? it would be if it was 2006.", "c": ["Liz", "Randy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "okay,i do appreciate the irony that i'm the one stuck in the closet now. is that irony? not really.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "sat behind you so i could talk to you and try to see the top of your underwear.", "c": ["Jack (as Klaus)"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "ballard,don't let them put their tops back on.", "c": ["Jack (drunk background)"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "but you are leaving through the doggy door.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "i like to take the shampoo and put it in the little travel size bottles. then i take the original bottle and put it back in the shower. for later.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "if you want to save money on the trip,consider taking a sandwich.", "c": ["Today Show host"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "and before you worked here,were you an ass scientist? because your ass blah,blah,blah.you get the point.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "virginia? but that's gonna be my daughter's name. are you also someone's daughter? uh,yeah. is every woman someone's daughter?", "c": ["Tracy", "Virginia"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "they spell \"klaus.\" your name in german class.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "you should buy a leather jacket!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "stop so bored. did i do that right? yeah. that was super bitchy.", "c": ["Liz", "Randy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "unless kimiko's jealous of the ottoman. there's nothing going on there.that's a business relationship.", "c": ["James Franco"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "don't lemon your life,james.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "and i'm in love with and common law married to a japanese body pillow!", "c": ["James Franco"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "randy,this is james franco and our friend kimiko tan.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "you have created an atmosphere of hostility and intolerance that everyone talks about all the time.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "since the phone call i interrupted to make this announcement?", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "kenneth,your haircut is disrespectful to lesbians!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "but george eliot was a woman.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "to be comtinued..... really?", "c": ["Tracy", "Grizz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Klaus And Greta"}, {"t": "hey, kenneth, why aren't your teeth glowing in the black light? you'll have to ask the fella who whittled 'em for me.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "A month ago i was doing a robot act on the street, so i know my place. i want to be tgs' steve nash. come down from canada, work hard, make the black guy look good.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "look at me in the black light.it's tron. watch out, sark.It's me, flynn. light bike.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "Robot lorenzo lamas was funny. as was robot ryan seacrest and david hasselbot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "it's not what you think! it's something i need to wear to support my breasts!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "lemon, i have season tickets to every sports team in new york. so close to the action, you'll feellike you're sitting in front of an hd television", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "but my biggest problem with quiddich is, if the snitch is 150 points, why does anyone bother with the quaffle?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "hey, jeter! Are you jealous?i'm with my new boyfriend!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "that girl has a name, jack.we call her 'skankovitch.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "oh, mr.Donaghy.i forgot to give you the factory worker death rates.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "and you take your reward. you take your reward.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "how drunk are you? a lot to very.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "is it the body paint or is danny just glowinglike a beacon of manly camaraderie?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "liz, i can't do girls'lunch today. we've never done that.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "i play tartine gramercy, an heiress to a vermouth fortune and a freshman at nyu.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "it's interesting that they highlighted the mother's lines. well, that's so i'll know what part not to read.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "oh, pete, that's later.maybe we'll be dead by then.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "what?It's true.she does look like one of those.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "even you foreigners.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "10:00 a.m.dotcom shows up pictures From his trip to greece. i think i'm gonna go ahead and cancel that.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "i like to go to tasti dlite. pinkberry?", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "oh, come on, you hoser!hoser!", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "hey, is it that chick lawyer who does the sexual harassment presentation? because she's asking for it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "even though the reason is she's never let a man see her feet.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "mostly we just kiss and then she makes mego down to the deli to get her a sandwich.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "they're called spanx.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "what do you mean?I'm not playing the mo", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "black light attack!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "hey, liz.i just want to show you this new iphone app. you shake it and it soundslike an empty can.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "my favorite apps are the ones before my entree.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "what did he do to the back of your knees?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "hey, watch your mouth!She's only 34 years old!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "when they were little, i threw them in the deep end of our pool to help them get over their fearof sharks.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "the mother. they wanted me to play the...mother.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "would a mother be planning a sex tour of vietnam this spring?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "but those were my majors at the royal tampa academy of dramatic tricks.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "you can be like Madonna and cling to youth with your gollum arms", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "Mmm, no.That won't be necessary...officer.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "this is so tandem. 'random,' jenna.Those kids are saying the word'random.'", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "hang on.i'm just tweeting that i ran into you. this is so tandem.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "they use it in japan to keep kids from loitering outside of convenience stores.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "oh!My ears are, like, dying.Facebook!", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "i also have this lowfrequency tonethat can only be heard by people over 40. have you started playing it yet?", "c": ["Frank", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "this is from danny's chips costume.what is it doing here?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "this badge is a symbol of dignity, honor, and dramatized 1970s interethnic california daytime motorcycle highway justice.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "with their untucked shirts, boneless faces, their stars, both wars and trek.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "little scrump nugget.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "i'll never be like you!", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "Can't make me stay here! you are a part of this entourage. i didn't ask to bein this entourage! look!I know you didn't mean that. i do mean it.I'm not like you! i'll never be like you!", "c": ["Sue", "Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "she has really thin lips, but she makes upFor it with tongue girth.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "Our latest information on women's sexuality finds female libido does tend to peak in those years just beforeperimenopause In what scientists and doctors like myselfare calling their dirty 30s.", "c": ["TV Doctor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "i guess i'm gettinga second wind here at the tail endof my dirty 30s.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "i wrote it last night...late. the shirt should be... Filthier.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "if you were a man, you would have to register yourself as a sex criminal.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "pretending i wasn't fourth runnerup at the miss teen bicentennial pageant.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "if you come out as your real age,i will reveal my friend tom.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "tom selleck.he's my moustache.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "All my 'aha' moments end with a moustache pressed against me.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "not for a billion doll hairs. i'm sorry.Did you say 'doll hairs'? yeah, they're not worth nothing.", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "i'm entranced by those mudcolored eyes, Set back in... that skin.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "that splayfooted walk.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "the nagano olympics. microsoft windows '95. but i'm 41 now.time to die.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "It started out as a joke, but it's becoming real.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Black Light Attack!"}, {"t": "You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Oh, is that where the word 'sad' comes from?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "I've been stuck inside playing online boggle. It's messing with my head. Star, rats, arts, tars.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "How is female Larry Bird holding hands with a guy? What am I doing wrong?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "I'm telling Nancy that I'm with female Kevin McHale.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "I have elaborate fantasies of her husband dying in a boat explosion.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Stop. Pots. Tops. Opts. Post.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Lutz, do the right thing. / It's Lutz's turn to pick where we eat today. / Oh, boy. Lutz, don't do this.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Subway. / I hope you die!", "c": ["Lutz", "Writer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Maybe some people won't be coming back next year.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Jonathan, why do I have an Indian assistant if my computer is always... Jack. I'm messing with you.", "c": ["Jack", "Nancy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "I'm tired of waking up to a porch full of dead squirrels.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "I'm messing with you... Oh, very funny, Donna", "c": ["Nancy", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "He was pretty bad. Nutmeg. Rodeo, rodeo, rodeo.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "I can rent a convertible, You can complain about the heat with elderly people.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Cross promotional, Deal mechanics, Revenue streams, Jargon, Synergy.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "That's the best presentation I've ever seen.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "But I... I bought a parrot shirt.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "It is a city with an NBA team. And even though Will Smith never wrote any raps about it, the poet Robert Lowell lived there.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Well, not in Boston, but nearby. No, not tufts... Shut up. / Harvard.", "c": ["Writer", "Writers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Also, there is no Spectravision or Internet in the hotel, So plan ahead, gentlemen, porn-wise.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "You think I like sharing a room with Toofer? Dude is still playing that Obama song.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Maybe because one of us still hasn't read the other's screenplay. / I read it. I just didn't like it.", "c": ["Frank", "Lutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Usually designers just make clothes for me, But when I do buy stuff, I'm a child's medium.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "These are Jamie Foxx for assfarm.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "I was making my thing up. You bitch! / What did you tell her, you vondruke?", "c": ["Cerie", "Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Thank you, thank you. It's great to be here, Cleveland. / You suck. / I suck? The rock and roll hall of fame sucks!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "What did you tell her, you vondruke?", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "These gentlemen are the writers for Bruins Beat, Whose offices we'll be sharing. They are all named Sean. They are mean, and I hate it here.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Seven items are different. See if you can spot which ones.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Oh, that'll really disappoint your key demographic of drunken 11-year-olds.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "What keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred of the CBS sitcoms They're forced to watch.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "I find that news anchors and breasts are always smaller than they look on TV.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Tonight's top story, A Worcester man accused of trading his foster son for gasoline. And later in the hour, Ten tips on how to make your cat's birthday go purr-fectly.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Apparently Brad Pitt and Sharon Stone did a crap job rebuilding those Katrina homes, and Mark thinks he can make a fortune down there.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "neither one of us know what to do about the dog, 'cause we both hate it.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Yeah, we talked to Dr. Phil, and then we made a collage in our dream journals.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "They just run off to New Orleans And jump on that B.S. Saints bandwagon. Go pats.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "I do if you can resuscitate an electrocuted person.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Can you wire the doorbell to the dog?", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "You lying, white devil! The only people you set free were rich, white dudes like yourself!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "For a dude that has the most hilarious last name I ever heard, you blow.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on Mars!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Because it's my birthday. And thanks for remembering. I'm 45. It's kind of a big deal.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Who orders food from a gas station? / The Shell by me has good hot dogs.", "c": ["Writer", "Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Dale Snitterman.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Snitterman is the one Who cancelled taco night in the commissary. Snitterman is the one who okayed that cast photo where your hair looks green.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "That vondruke!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "The Salem witch trials, the red scare, global warming.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Silas Marymount-Peppercorn", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "The creative process was that I saw that name, forgot that I saw it, and said it later.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Then patriots are overrated. / Hey! What'd you say about the patriots? / I said they suck!", "c": ["Tracy", "Bostonians"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "I am Silas Marymount-Peppercorn, And this is my first wife... Moronica.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "My wife and I have disparate levels of attractiveness, because I am a successful inventor.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "You little bitch. Look at you. You're just a suit. You're nobody!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Truffle shuffle! Truffle shuffle!", "c": ["Lutz", "Writers"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Your neighbors named their daughter Belichick!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "let's get divorced. you marry the butler, And I'll be a gay octomom.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Really? So five years after Crispus Attucks was killed in the Boston massacre? / Run, Crispus. He... he's on to us!", "c": ["Tracy", "Crispus"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Winter Madness"}, {"t": "Congratulations. It's meat cat! the cheesy blasters mascot. I'm what's inside ya! Razzmatazz!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I got to eat better.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "While I tell you a funny story About my friend's cat. His name is Mr. Wiggles, And his cat's name is Benson.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "She was trying to use An Oxycontin prescription bottle as I.D.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Just like the day I was born.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "This is some woman who shows up Every couple of years to ask for money. To her, I'm just a gorgeous, Naturally-blonde ATM.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "don't go to sleep with a frown in your pocket", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I left my Sith Lord cloak Too near my mom's shrine to Italian Jesus, And the candles started a fire.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Would you like to stay in my guest house? Yeah. Thanks. When's good to go over there? Oh, I'm not offering. I'm just taking a survey To gauge general interest.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Oh, I'd like to pre-apologize For clogging your tub, sink, and toilet.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Mothers. You can't kill them...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Keep you and your pets safe With gator hater gator spray. Sorry. Honey, you got to get closer to the gator. We drove eleven hours to get here, And you're not getting any younger.", "c": ["Verna", "Young Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "that day in January When the post office is closed.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Can I just tell you I'm genuinely having fun right now?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Say no. Talk low. Let her go.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Wow. An old white lady yelling at me While wearing microwavable socks. This is so different than living with my mom.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "That the episode of diff'rent strokes About Dudley dad Has proven incontrovertibly That smoking destroys your health And leads to ridicule from Willis.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "manufactured in a facility that also processes food.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "This is what meat cat spoke of.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "But if doing this restores my sex drive, The plus-sized ladies in the mail room Have you to blame.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Is this the fight? I'm talking quieter. I'm in control.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Don't go, mommy. I'll stand closer to the gator.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "funny story. There was a guy on the subway Who I thought for a second didn't have any fingers. But then I realized He was holding his hand like this.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "While you were talking, I put a thumbtack in my neck. Makes me feel something.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Autumn tempeh risotto With salmon-rubbed streusel chunks.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "It turns out she had a tumor Pressing on her brain's pleasure center. A tumor those quack doctors removed.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "He does look like he'd be great Between those two things we were talking about.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Something's killing all the birds in my neighborhood.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Could a bad mom have raised a daughter Who was engaged to a congressman when she was 16?", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Like a pair of white jeans And a Dan Marino jersey or something, 'kay?", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Last night I spent an hour Trying to remember how to spell the word 'height.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Rossitanos have refused to fight in seven wars.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Just like the one our nanny used To catch me watching her sleep.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I was told I'd get paid If I came here and danced while the Atlanta hawks eat dinner.", "c": ["Dancer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "A liar. A dental hygienist.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I've been a lot of things- A liar. A dental hygienist.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "And then I went and drove my jet ski Into that great big bunch of moss.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Because I'm listening to the words.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm in The Martha Stewart section of Kmart.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I did not drive my home All the way to new york city Just to kiss my daughter's ass.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Topless arguments. Infections caused by jacuzzi water.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "It's a mermaid. Doing it with Captain Morgan.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Which is in my underpanties.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "My mom just made them. So they still might have some pigeon mites. But she said those can't affect-affect humans-humans.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "She's made a full 360.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Frank's old cigarettes. When I went to bed last night, There were 15 cigarettes in the pack. This morning, there were 12.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "They're called night spanx.", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "It's a little-understood parasomnial disorder.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "They're called night spanx.", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "You're sleepwalking, Liz. It's a little-understood parasomnial disorder.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Did you learn nothing from Jurassic Park?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I don't mean to be the black guy at the movie, But you better move, girl!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I'm eating it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Denise, I said wait upstairs. My boss is asleep in the other room. I was told You have a package for the mail room.", "c": ["Frank", "Denise"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I need you, Denise. I'm trying to quit smoking, And my mom's not here. I'm your mama now, baby.", "c": ["Frank", "Denise"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I want to be in business with you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Just like when I dye my pool on st. Patrick's day.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "And I believe that gives me the upper hand,", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "3 grand a visit, And a rain tarp for my washer and dryer.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "If you are spending your mornings with Kenneth, What's your release?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "I've been biting my nails. Oh. I feel alive!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "You're a good man, Jack Donaghy. Thanks, meat cat.", "c": ["Jack", "Meat Cat"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Verna"}, {"t": "Valentine's Day is a sham created by card companies to reinforce and exploit gender stereotypes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Learn from my sexual misadventures, Evelyn.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Last Valentine's Day, I watched my boyfriend, Drew's, mother/grandmother die.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "I met Floyd on Valentine's Day, but he left me for the city of Cleveland.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Instead, these cookies celebrate the February 14th birthday of Anna Howard Shaw, famed American suffragette.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "No, C.N.B.C. gives me a headache. I get all my money advice from P.B.S.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Where should I put my money? In tech stocks? Or the housing market? Tech stocks, Foxy Moneybags! Tech stocks!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Like when you think there's one more stair, but there isn't. And all of a sudden, you're like 'Whoa!'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Is that sex, Lemon? It's the way I do it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Perhaps a, uh, bra with a front clasp.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "I scheduled a root canal for February 14th, Jack. I will spend half the day in twilight sleep.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "My Stepson is My Cyber-Husband", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "You are truly the Picasso of loneliness.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Or I am that painting elephant of being awesome.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "But if Beyonce simply answered one of my letters, I'd stop trying to break into her house.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Maynard's debilitating devotion validates how wonderful I am.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Maybe to one of my peers, like Julia Roberts.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Would a fake woman have a personal website at JDLutz.com/karen/proof?", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "My cousin set me up on a blind date for Valentine's, and I just found out the girl is... well, urban.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "You know that load with the messed-up teeth who cleans the urinals? She'll only go out with me if she can bring her ugly sister.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "One word. Oral. Two words. Oral surgery.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "When I had my wisdom teeth out, I tried to get in the bath with my mon.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Then she takes the kids there and I stay home and get wasted in my garage. It's what keeps the magic alive.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "And the food in his beard tells us that he purchased a snack pack on the train from New Haven.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "The Baltics or women's tennis.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Mitt Romney's oldest son, Jezba.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Just sit a couple out, Stein, god.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Blackberry, Warren Buffett. iPhone, Jimmy Buffett.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Tie, The Fountainhead or Uncle Buck.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "On Valentine's Day, Angie and I rent a room with a heart-shaped hot tub and cook chili in it. Then we take it to a soup kitchen. And that's where it starts to get sexy.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "I will be attending an all-day abstinence rally. You're welcome to come. I think I've got an extra gender-neutralizing hood.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Has the dog who gives you your orders died?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "I just thought it would be with me in the trunk of a rental car.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Oh, no, The Peace Corp. Lawrence Peace's corporation. We drilled for oil in gorilla habitats.", "c": ["Date"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "We are going to test poisons on you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "I think it started when I walked in on my parents doing it the day Reagan was shot.", "c": ["Date"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "One time, I ran over an old lady in Arizona and just kept driving.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "It's 3:30 in the morning in Geneva, Jack. Who's your call with? The hooker working the corner outside Raiffeisenbank?", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "And in Switzerland, that is, uh, 'Night Business Month'.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "If you don't get that tooth fixed, the infection will probably move to your brain and kill you.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Then your ghost is going to see some disgusting stuff.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "'mon se poivre' That means 'my salt and pepper' in Swiss French.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "She was on Maxim's 'I'd Rape That 100.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, the male escort that I hired to take me home from surgery has had a chlamydia flare-up, so...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "A not-stupid program that I came up with.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Lemon, your hair looks very nice today. You should wear it like that more often.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "'Jenna, I was in your bedroom last night. I left a gift in your toilet. You will be my bride someday.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Doug is my vibrator.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Everything. Even zip up my own dress.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Not because you're black. Although it doesn't matter, because I'm black too. Nope, you're going to meet me. No, I'm not black.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Maybe someday, we'll live in a world where you ask us to pretend to be scientists.", "c": ["Grizz/Dotcom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. That sounds like an appropriate use of my time and talent.", "c": ["Bon Jovi"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "'I, the undersigned, henceforth known as The Alone' hereby state that on February 14th, I have absolutely no one in my life.'", "c": ["Bon Jovi"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "'I, The Alone, otherwise known as Jane Sadwoman' release Dr. Kaplan's office of all legal responsibilities.", "c": ["Bon Jovi"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "'Will likely die alone, eaten by house cats.'", "c": ["Bon Jovi"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "That is the lamest thing I've heard since this. I'm Tyke Myson, baby boxer. I wrote that.", "c": ["Bon Jovi"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "I'm Tyke Myson, baby boxer. I wrote that.", "c": ["Bon Jovi"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Because my boyfriend, Astronaut Mike Dexter, will be picking me up. On his motorcycle.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "You know, I don't think the 'anastacia' actually 'affectored' me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "You're all here because you didn't want me to be alone today.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Drew. So handsome. So, so stupid.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Because I am a sailor on the sea of the human heart.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Okay, this bitch is tripping her ass off.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Look, despite what happened in the shower last night, I'm a pretty traditional girl.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "A son I can throw a ball to and, when he's older, have power struggles with.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Who did this? I don't know. I guess some weirdo out there loves you.", "c": ["Jenna", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Yes, you're a very pretty doggie.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Bon Jovi.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Shanice? What you going to do this weekend? Me going to re-wallpaper me powder room, man.", "c": ["TV Show"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Don Cheadle on a bed of rice.", "c": ["TV Show"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Don Cheadle on a bed of rice.", "c": ["Cast member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "Happy Valentine's Day, no one.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Anna Howard Shaw Day"}, {"t": "did I put a toaster waffle into my D.V.D. player?", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "You watched it for about an hour, said Nicole Kidman should get an Oscar for it, then you turned it off", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "You kept trying to order home massages off of craigslist", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Hey, somebody order a massage? / Oh, brother. / You're too late! I already killed her!", "c": ["Massage person", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "If the pervert community gets wind of morning jogging, God help us", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "How could a company from Philadelphia buy a company from New York? That would be like Vietnam defeating the United States in a ground war", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "It means the book is filled with cubes of knowledge", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Because a woman's brain has fewer folds / The Negroid musculature...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "On his way to work, he found some magic beans, and because he believed in them...", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Just like that movie I only saw the first 10 minutes of- Fatal Attraction", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "He could wear a thumb ring", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Everything always works out for the best", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 4.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "I just threw my wallet out the window", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "A future Tony-nominated actor", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "I'm doing a one-man show. / Tonight. / What am I, a nerd? I'm going to keep it loose", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Maybe we are legend. You're Will Smith and I'm the dog", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "I'll tell him it's a guy I'm having sex with", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Rhubarb, rhubarb, golf. Prostate", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "But if anything should happen to me, I want you to read, Oh, the Places You'll Go at my funeral", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "I've had this pamphlet printed up. It was expensive, but I'm really tired of discussing this with you", "c": ["Dr. Kaplan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "He has some gum recession. Four-pockets on 14 and 15. But overall, very good teeth. Especially for an Englishman", "c": ["Dr. Kaplan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Well, If that's how you feel, then you're not really a patient. And people who aren't patients don't get toys from the treat bucket", "c": ["Dr. Kaplan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "But there's a Batman in there! / Yeah, and if you wind him up, he swims in the bath", "c": ["Liz", "Dr. Kaplan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Late at night, these two, little, twin girls told me they wanted to play with me forever", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "It's as if 'Claps-Giving Yay Harade' has lost all meaning", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Five hours", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "I've been petitioning for them to add a category for Living Theatrically in Normal Life", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Honey, I'm home! / Pac-Man, I'm Jewish! / Jeffrey, we lost the tournament!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Do they give an award for Tarantula Misplacement?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "It keeps me from... Hee-haw, hee-haw! Don't worry, it's just a donkey spell", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Even if he does come from a country that's nothing more than the dried husk America came out of", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Like when Lot's daughters got him drunk to repopulate the world through incest. Or when Screech went to the masquerade ball in disguise so Lisa would kiss him", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 9.03, "im": 9.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "So here's da ting. You need to come in today so the doctor can check dem teeth, mon", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "You're going Irish! / Cool runnings, mon. Bobsled", "c": ["Liz", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Stay away, I will bite you! Hee-haw!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Because it's romantic and I'm really good at it", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Back to work!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Do you think it was easy for me to cut ties from my old mentor, Pat O'Brien, after he shaved his moustache?", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Do you think it was easy for me to cut ties from my old mentor, Pat O'Brien, after he shaved his moustache?", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Which is the song that I sang to Don at his promotion dinner", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "If I wanted to see a black guy make a fool of himself, I'd have sex with K-Fed again", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "And without my wallet, I don't even have my lucky rabbit's spine", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Why, with a curtain five hours from now, it would take the greatest acting coach the world has ever seen to make his show a success. Fine, I'll do it!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Bobsled.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Can you tell me why you come up on my phone as 'Future Wife'?", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Wow, this is not interesting", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Well, British people have notoriously bad teeth, so... / I've never heard that", "c": ["Liz", "Wesley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Like when they say older women have breadback. / What's breadback? / The loaf of back fat between a woman's bra and her giant underwear", "c": ["Liz", "Wesley"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "You use that word too much", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Hiding him in your freezer. Just like we did with Hiram Sheinhardt during the R.C.A. deal", "c": ["Jack Welch"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "And if you need to pass some eye water, I'll be happy to go out and get you some weakness tissues", "c": ["Jack Welch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "We were so awkward that the waitress gave us separate checks without asking. And a priest came over and asked us who we'd lost", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Sometimes, everything is just the worst, Kenneth", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "They're selling N.B.C. to a company called KableTown. With a 'K'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, my parents have KableTown down in Pennsylvania. It's a fine and generous company", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "That's the sound of me being erased from contact lists all around the world", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "It's the Hug Plane coming in for a landing? You're cleared for approach", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Got it, no farting", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "After me. / No, Tracy. / No, stop it, not this part. / No, stop it. / Up. / We've got to start over. / I farted", "c": ["Jenna", "Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Well Guards. Guard your well... well", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "You were a fat baby", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Go out there and be yourself. Go on stage and read the damn phone book, for all I care!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "No, this is not possible. / But it is. / I knew my wallet would turn up. And it did", "c": ["Liz", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Oh, I am either very happy right now, or I'm having a pretty bad donkey spell", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Do you like Tex-Mex? / No, I don't. / See you there", "c": ["Wesley", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "According to my sources, the clear frontrunner current G.E. executive, Jack Donaghy... with the programming experience, business savvy, and piercing, blue eyes of a Siberian husky", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "I'm going to celebrate by buying my lady friend that necklace she pointed out and then, cooking her a Western omelette", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "And then, I'm going to braid your hair", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "[Tracy reading phone book names on stage] Klarsfeld, Rubin M. Klarvet, Yuri...", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Bravo! It's a triumph!", "c": ["Audience"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Future Husband"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm supposed to be drinking a soda right now.", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "I don't know why you're wearing girls' pajamas, But I'm sure it's cultural.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Not Seinfeld, Friends, E.R. exciting. More like 3d episodes of Merlin exciting.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Even if it is from... Philadelphia.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "How did you even get a snowball?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Yeah, then he looked around, realized it sucked, And moved to Philadelphia!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Oh, did you just whip a battery at me?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "And the earth into one of the top three planets In the universe.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "That's the craziest thing I ever heard. Episcopal!", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "This is for you, Dan Goose.", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Well, I would have rather watched that terrible movie Five times than have hung out with Wesley.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "One for the 8:00 hot tub time machine.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "I had a thing where I kept running in to michael douglas. But then I realized it was just some old lady Who lives in my building.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "No, the premier talent agency For black dwarves.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "My addiction to prescription glasses.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Jack, your shoes are shiny.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Yeah. Seltzer and Mike and ikes.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Your ben & jerry's flavor is called adulteraisin.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "madder Than a bat in a suitcase.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Not the time travel. It's the hot tub. You don't just turn one on, and it's immediately hot. I should know. I've been in a hot tub two times.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "It's like being in a cathy cartoon That just won't end.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "So why are you in my phone as future husband, and why am I in yours as future wife?", "c": ["Liz", "Wesley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Feel like I'm back at school learning about the dangers of book readin.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "and bad things to Chinese Rivers.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Second only to the company of great friends.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "My cousin in Atlanta is a business model. She holds up staplers in catalogues.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "In England, we call it a film pod.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "My brother is a cardiologist, and I'm just as good as he is. We drive the same car.", "c": ["Dr. Kaplan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "We are gonna hang out so much after this. I want to take you to the big apple circus 'cause we're best friends.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "How come so many of his patients have died, But I've only killed one guy, huh?", "c": ["Dr. Kaplan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "I got a lot of flack After I ate the pig that played babe.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "But it's like a black barbie doll in Arizona. Nobody's buying it.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Just like my favorite golfer OJ Simpson.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Jack 'the master baiter' Donaghy.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Based on the novel 'tush' by assfire.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "I'm the reason the microwave tray rotates.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "'and Alexander wept For there were no more worlds to conquer.' Hans Gruber, Die Hard.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Gangway for footcycle!", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Yeah, fine, my velocipede", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "You wouldn't be complaining If you wore the shoes I bought you. You're an old bitch.", "c": ["Couple"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "We're each other's settling soul mates.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "And I've played Monopoly alone.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "You're an old bitch.", "c": ["Woman in couple"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "It's a Liz-aster.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "'CEO of G.E. dies violently in a casino orgy.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "'CEO of G.E. dies violently in a casino orgy.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "'middle manager of a Philadelphia Pornography distributor never wakes up'?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "A perpetual motion machine endlessly satisfying Every human need.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "I'm going to bury Don Geiss, America, and hope.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Hey, baby, it's your husband. So I'm at Bed Bath & Beyond, And I can't remember, Did you say to get metal or wood shower curtain rings?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Reason one: I am conscious.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "You know what I have? A sims family that keeps getting murdered.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Like Hilary... From Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "'these are all hookers. Pick one.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "That realization led him to develop the nightlight And the marketing campaign aimed at making children Afraid of the dark-- a monster under every bed.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "Three words: Porn for women.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "To jabber.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "And I'm ready to make.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "That is insane! No, it's insane That the actor Wesley Snipes has that name.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "That's what we call spring cleaning in England.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "'uh-huh,' 'how annoying,' 'she's clearly jealous of you,' And 'well, it's his loss.'", "c": ["Actor"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Don Geiss, America And Hope"}, {"t": "I met him on kdate, which is the personals section of the kraft foods website", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "He owns a cockatiel named Arliss", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "A Mr. Debarber called. Seriously? A Mr. Debarber called.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Send me a white football player-- No kickers or linemen", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Danny was nominated for a Juno, which is like a Canadian Grammy", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "\u266a the crowd's getting loud \u266a \u266a scotiabank place \u266a \u266a make a hockey-loving face \u266a \u266a at scotiabank place \u266a", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Like, what if we trick him into kissing me? It'd be so funny because I'm not gay.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "This is the most friends I've ever had", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "You should come up with a shortcut word for it, Like, 'ivatrennapra.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Well, Danny's interview with the New York Times comes out today, so 'ivatrennapra.'", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Silly Mr. Hornberger. Always saying hate when he means love.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Just chola eyebrows", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "That's why I get all my news from Dick Cheney's website-- dickviews.Com", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I never said that Liz banged her way to the middle", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Jenna kidnapped a Swedish au pair to use as a hair farm", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I never called Tracy clean and articulate. Why would I? He's not.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "The New York Times doesn't have a staff writer named Seymour Nips", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "My guess is this is the work of Frank, the black one, And... Lutz.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "We snuck up to Dartmouth, Put their mascot in a box, And sent it to Mexico City. We didn't know until the next day That it was an actual indian.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "He didn't speak a word of english, Like all Dartmouth men.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "The boob job recall center?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean that guy? And, of course, this is our other finalist couple For the today wedding contest, Floyd and Kaitlin.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Whahk?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Legend has it, the only bait That'll catch old gus is a piece of old Gus himself. So everytime they catch him, they cut off a litlle piece of him so they can catch him again", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Now how did the very first person catch old Gus? Well, that's a story for another time-- Right now.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Floyd never told you? I mean, 'b's before 'h's, but that is low.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "\u266a all my days, I've been waiting \u266a \u266a for you to come back home \u266a \u266a in the moonlight \u266a \u266a of New York city \u266a", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "They're boston irish catholic-- they mate for life, Like swans, like drunk... Angry swans.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "\u266a all my days, I've been waiting \u266a \u266a for you to come back home \u266a \u266a in the moonlight \u266a \u266a of New York city \u266a", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Hey, keep it down out there! This isn't Liz.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "And now we can say whatever we want-- Douche bag, asswipe. Anal rot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Rejection from society is what created the x-men", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Whahk?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "So much of my life Have I wasted putting things on hats!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "So much of my life Have I wasted putting things on hats!", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "The monster cannot detect the smell of human skin. Anyone still inside should disrobe immediately.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I'm keeping my hat on. I don't care, man.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Now we're even, guys. As you were, nerds.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Space, space, space, space, space, Space, my autobiography, space, space, Space, space, space, by Kenneth Ellen Parcell.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I had a very graphic dream about Kenneth", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Liz, last night I had a very graphic dream about Kenneth. What? Ugh! I know. It's disgusting.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "It looked like a close-up of a killer whale being born", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Twig and Plums is a Princeton secret society, And Jack is clearly a member", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Excuse me, I have tickets to a Harry Connick Jr. Concert", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Excuse me, gentlemen. I have a, uh... Veterinary appointment", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Look, Kaitlin is a yogaerobics instructor and an ab model. I was in a reenactment on America's Most Wanted once, playing a lady strangled on the toilet.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "The early show? What am I, in a hospital?", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I was in a reenactment On America's Most Wanted once, Playing a lady strangled on the toilet", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "What would you like for dinner, Mr. Jordan-- Barbecue or me?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "We had kids. What kind of sick mind dreams that? It was disgusting!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "We have to Elm Street this", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I have to go to an intervention For my... Travel agent", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I have to go to an intervention for my... travel agent.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "\u266a shot through the heart \u266a whoa-oa! \u266a and you're to blame \u266a This is my jam right here. \u266a you give love a bad name \u266a ooh, my jam-a-lam.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "That would explain why we have so many drunk kids here", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Squeeze in one last ride at six Floyds Amusement Park? Well, we're closed. Sorry.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "One, blonde. Two, she's alive... Like a deer. She runs and sniffs and jumps and stares.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "She's not like the badger With its glasses and its rules about weekday sex", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Those are good rules. People have work in the morning", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "There's so many guys out there That want to be poisoned and yelled at", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I just happened to run into your mom At a T.J. Maxx in Queens, And we came back here for some cannoli and red wine", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Hey, Frank. Your mom's a hugger", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "In this hour, spring cleaning-- Boring! Boring! Floyd, come on.", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Shut up, kit kat!", "c": ["Floyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I hope That you'll accept these tgs mouse pads And a man's wallet with the Dateline logo on it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "Even drunk, he only had really nice things To say about you and your butt.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "And if you go on a cruise for your honeymoon, May it be free of pirates.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "And if you go on a cruise for your honeymoon, May it be free of pirates", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I don't have any female friends Because, you know, my body.", "c": ["Kaitlin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "So instead of avoiding seeing Floyd getting married... I'm in the wedding party", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Floyd"}, {"t": "I love it when you talk dirty to me. I cannot wait to see you tonight.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Think slutty Grace Kelly.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "And the opposite of that just walked in.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Test, test, test. This is a test for Jack's card. \u266a Wonder woman \u266a Excuse me, how do you re-record on these things? Whatever. I'll definitely figure it out.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "You look like a prison weed dealer.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "I'm coming back from a singles dodgeball match, okay?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Oh, I forgot, only guys can get hurt there.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "As my good friend and fox-hunting partner Mary J. Blige would say, 'no more drama.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Ruh-ro!", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Eat it, bitch!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "His foot was over the line.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Or, as I like to call it, singles fart suppression.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "I look forward to not watching that on an airplane.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Not now, Jackie D. I heard on the walkie-talkies that there's a redheaded MILF walking around with some executive.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "You shut your mouth!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "The grown-up dating world is like your haircut. Sometimes awkward triangles occur.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "I feel like you've been saving that one.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Why would a lady get divorced at 50? Stick it out! Men die first, then you have two wonderful years, then you die.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Mrs. Doubtfire shimself could not do this.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Oh, god! The band is soaking!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "A guy on the subway just called me a biggledeeboo.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "I've learned the word 'black' in every language, just so I'll know when to be offended. Russian, chernyi. Korean, hoog-een.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "It's an 18th-century word for 'dark-skinned moor.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Dolphin... Eeeeeeeeeeeee! Eeeee-eeeee-ee-eee-eee-eee!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Barry Obams is the one who brought it back!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Aah! Black man!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "All you've ever known is your affirmative-action job and queen latifah covergirl commercials.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "I'm Jerem! I collect posters.", "c": ["Jerem"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "I didn't have the heart to tell Mrs. Schwitzer that you've moved to New York, so I told her you were in jail for manslaughter.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Peanut butter and Miller high life.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "You're a wackadoo, Donaghy.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "You always know you're at the right party when it feels like the Riddler is about to attack.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Money bunny Avery Jessup steps out with sexecutive Jack Donaghy.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Like Santa claus taking a shower.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "That is a 15th-century term for a black pirate! Racist!", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Then why are my paychecks a different color than Frank's?", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Look, Toof, you provide a point of view that is essential to keeping the diversity guy from bothering us.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "'I'm cool'? No, I'm sorry. You can't set me up like that. Don't quit.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "And you look like you won second prize in a beauty contest... Collect $10.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Left over from my amtrak ride.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "I got the night bloats.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "I thought you said this wasn't going to be sexual.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Here are the bullet points: Jeter's apartment. We're playing beer pong. It's New York Yankees versus former mayors. I got 10 grand on the mayors.", "c": ["Unknown caller"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Like three's company, it's titillating, yet anxiety-producing.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Aw, man, being Janet sucks!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "How do you choose between Lee Marvin and Derek jeter?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "On looks, Lee Marvin.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "This is gender inequity out the Yang!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, I'm reading a book called hiding your arms, hiding your anger.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "And even worse, they're both going to lose me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? How come I'm always forced to play ridicarus characters that don't enununcia tewell.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "You know, there actually hasn't been a white Princess since 1991.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "It's a summer camp that teaches pretty blonde girls how to be mean.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Or that you're my prostitute.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "The sportscaster who bites ladies.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Don't ask how I got them. But I do know the access code to his pyramid.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "I found myself rooting for our boys in uniform, not those Blue hippies.", "c": ["Wine guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Some of them were former marines, but they were mercenaries working for a space mining company.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "The last time I used a birth control device, it was the '70s, and it looked like soap on a rope.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "I want him to genuinely like me, even when I'm old.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "You making much English. This is fun alcoholics meeting!", "c": ["Jerem"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "You were only hired by the second city because they needed someone who could remember to feed the theater cat!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "You attended the university of Maryland on a partial competitive jazz dance scholarship.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Happy birthday, bitches!", "c": ["Bitch Hunter character"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Why do you think your checks aren't the same color as Howie mandel's?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Okay, fine, fine! Toofer. I'll just go back to Toofer.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Three-fer, 'cause you're also gay.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Lee Marvin Vs. Derek Jeter"}, {"t": "Hey! Did you know that everybody here went out last night without us? Oh, nerds!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Nerds?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Well, I yelled 'baba booey' at Walter Cronkite's funeral, so I actually have no idea of what's rude or not.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Could you take care of Angie like a husband until this whole ass-ache blows over?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I haven't seen your brow that furrowed since you saw that picture of Helen Mirren in a bikini. How is it possible? Is she a wizard?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Oh, Nan... Na. What? I was saying, 'oh, Nana.' Have I not told you about my grandmother fetish?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Avery actually tried to get on board. Later that night, she put some mothballs behind her ears and fed me peppermints.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I've had to make some tough calls over the years, switching Sheinhardt's wig production to 100% Chinese cadaver hair, turning down Dick Cheney's offer to become king of Iraq", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "[NBC chime plays] it's fresh.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Although, sometimes when you try so hard to find love, you can't see that it's been standing in front of you the whole time. Oh, good God.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "No! I don't care if you're safe! I love you!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Oh, I dropped my glass! [crash]", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Is that supposed to be a broom? Anchor the handle.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "To be honest, I couldn't really understand anything Rick James was saying.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "And once I'm there, I'll determine how much to charge you.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Oh, God, it looks like the underside of an octopus!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Hey, Liz, can I talk to you and Jenna in... The office where everyone clips their toenails? Not cool, guys.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Well, it was off for a while, because my fianc\u00e9 was on his dad's yacht and got captured by pirates, but now, thanks to the A-Team, he's back.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "The bridesmaids are you guys, Andy Roddick's wife, my Dutch cousins, and Penelope Cruz's hotter sister Monica.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "You're gonna be so out of place, Liz.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Now that Aris is finally getting over his Stockholm syndrome.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "You guys may have to walk down the aisle with some pirates.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I'm doing a juice fast, and it's making me really grouchy. Aah!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "[rapping] * and they're ain't no party * like a Liz Lemon party * 'cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory *", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I apologize for letting a Kashmiri into your office.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Every April 22nd, I honor Richard Nixon's death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Ever since I am a little boy, I am dreaming of hosing the tonight shift.", "c": ["Khonani"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "[NBC chime plays] the biggest loser network.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "No, I am not. I am 'innoventing.' A word that I just innovented.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I trained him to hate white people, because, not to profile, but most ghosts are white.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "He gets shocked if he tries to leave the property, just because he'd run away and cause car accidents and impregnate neighbors' horses.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "No, we're not supposed to do any sex stuff while she's on bed rest. Oh! Like a real one! I'm on it!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Nope! I'm in a strip club! My bad!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean frozen water? I don't know.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "And that Black Eyed Peas song they wrote for bar mitzvahs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "No, it's not that. We're dating.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Honestly, these immigrants have a tough life, no health care, and I kind of just thought he'd die before it became a thing.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "He collects classic car... [coughing] Cardboard. Classic cardboard.", "c": ["Khonani"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I'm like a chameleon, always a lizard!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "First of all, the secret service never gave me back my t-shirt cannon", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "People don't say that anymore. They say 'surf party, usa.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "But parties are like frisbees. If you throw them the wrong way, they'll veer off in a bad direction, and then your kid will fall into a quarry.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "It will turn on you, like your wife after your kid has fallen into a quarry.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "It will turn on you, like your wife after your kid has fallen into a quarry.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "But my body's gonna take me to Liz Lemon's.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Put the electric dog collar on me. It would be my honor.", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "No, I am not. I am 'innoventing.' A word that I just innovented.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "[NBC chime plays] It's fresh.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "That's how my kids keep me out of the liquor cabinet.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, there's only one Tracy Jordan, but sometimes he's needed in two places.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Wait. I don't walk that well.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "There's no trash, Jack. Ever since you moved Subhas to 10:00, he takes all the trash. No trash left for Khonani.", "c": ["Khonani"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "And with Nancy and Avery, I'm the trash shift.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I have a job for me at fox... [coughing] Woods. Foxwoods casino. My cousin is head janitor there.", "c": ["Khonani"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I suggest you cut off a finger and throw it in the river.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "This looks like the post-coital suite at the NBA All-Star game.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Juice fast delirium, Liz.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I deserve to be loved! [...] I am a proud, single woman!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "You think when I was a kid, I dreamed of someday paying $1,200 for a karaoke machine to impress a bunch of pasty losers? And a professional singer, who's beautiful, but doesn't know it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "[whimpering] I had nowhere else to go! [dog barking] Dog! Dog attack! [screaming]", "c": ["Kenneth", "Everyone"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Maybe this doesn't work on people. Aah! Aah! Oh, my neck! My swan-like neck!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I'm free. I can go anywhere I want... Like Liz's party or one of those places where you skydive over a huge fan.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "That's just a cardboard cutout of her.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Yes, that's exactly why we like you. We love you. You solve our problems. That's what you're good at.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Yeah. You know who's fun at parties? Paris Hilton, Andy Dick, Tracy, and they're all gonna burn in hell.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "You know who's fun at parties? Paris Hilton, Andy Dick, Tracy, and they're all gonna burn in hell.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "If you deliver me from this, I promise every Sunday for the rest of my life, I'll go to... Huh? I'm through it. Pizza Hut. I'll go to Pizza Hut.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "You want mommy to make the monsters go away.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "No! You're not book! Wanting to be book is not book.", "c": ["Subhas"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "Top gun high-five for courage? Only because you look like you need it so badly.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Khonani"}, {"t": "I just got my bridesmaid's dress For cerie's wedding. It is a vietnamese size two.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Do you know what it's like when a younger man shows up Wearing the same cufflinks? You might as well be invisible.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "- A suicide cult! - A gym.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "If the will says that you have to spend the night In a haunted house, you better hope That everybody else there is black guys and sluts.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Maybe that boyhood sled he held so dear. I believed he called it... Sleddy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "any chance it's one of those Bendy hospital beds? Maybe. He did have three.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Life is like tv. Testing tells us that people like weddings, births, And episodes where a character dies.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "My heart! [reacting to Tracy's comment about character deaths]", "c": ["Unknown cast member"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "You sound like my mother Talking to the planned parenthood lady.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "You sound like my mother being pulled onstage At a 2 live crew concert.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "My mother had problems.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "jack is 'bros' with lamar odom", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Are you soaking your tampo in vodka again?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Remember when she dated that sniper?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Jenna, there's a laser sight on your forehead. Oh, please. He's not gonna fire. For god's sakes, he's scared of his own mother! Aren't cha, alan?", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Pete, that was, like, two years ago. It just won't heal.", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "His even lovelier mistress. The secret canadian family. And his even more secret attic family.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "the most important of which Is to not let the piece get wet.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Because of our sexual past. Leave it open. I'd feel safer.", "c": ["Grizz", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "We really were the sam and diane of this place.", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "But you can call me dallas. [Pete introducing himself]", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Through a mutual fund. Friend, jenna. Oh, of course. Through a friend fund.", "c": ["Paul", "Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Oh, I work for a bank. -...Rupt circus. He works for a bankrupt circus.", "c": ["Paul", "Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Already-married cat strangler.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Agh! Living dinosaur!", "c": ["Unknown person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Peacocks can live up to 40 years, Longer if they're not part of mike tyson's home zoo.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "How to avoid getting paper cuts while making love On a pile of money.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "We three peacocks felt like we owned the world.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Like we might someday, j-town?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Terms we learned on a trip to japan Because they played the movie rising sun on the airplane.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Oh, his feather went in my mouth. Ew, it's so oily. Lemon, he's marked you. He thinks you're his wife.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "The wedding band is u2? No! You two idiots!", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "I've known you since you was six feet tall!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "and because of you, I'm having a tantrum! Now pick up that table and smash it for me!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "I'm just feeling the weight Of jenna's jewelry on my finger pads.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "They couldn't find cowboy hats big enough For my kid's head, So they're just wearing turbans.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Words are the first step on the road to deeds!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Oh, my, what a gorgeous swamp eagle.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "He lives...Or you die.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "I was about to suggest the same thing.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Before I show you the back of my hand.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "He's in love with grizz's fiancee... Feyonce! Oh, your stutter is back. No, grizz's fiancee's name is feyonce. Like beyonce with an 'f.'", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "You think that's impressive, Watch me stand on one foot. Hang on. I did it earlier.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "* my muffin top is all that * * whole grain, low fat *", "c": ["Paul as Jenna"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Jenna's boyfriend is a jenna maroney impersonator.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Let me retell it in slow motion.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "What if he rolls over on his back And his cloaca fills with mucous?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Well, not new york thin, but--", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Sorry--mrs. Argus.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I'm white. I can't read that word.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Your judgmental badger face.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "ooh, that's a car alarm.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Or how bread turns into toast.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "badger. It's another badger. The third badger has taken the bait. Why is everyone code named badger?", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "I'd never tuck my penis again if she asked me.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "She finally gets to love herself.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Damn, beth, let it go.", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Argus"}, {"t": "Could I get your lucretia mott on this?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "after their ill-fated decision to re-air the pilot of bitch hunter", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Put the mimosas down! Bitch.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Necktie. Too late, Jackie.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "It's little Frankie in the bathtub, getting ready for the senior prom", "c": ["Frank's mother"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "You remember that when a man buys you an expensive meal.", "c": ["Liz's mother", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's happening a lot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I sexually assaulted scottie pippen in 1997.", "c": ["Liz's mother"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Her name might be Cheryl, and she was wearing a red shirt in 1984.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Like when they was looking for John McCain's running mate.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I'm kidding. This needs to be taken seriously.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "our lady of reluctant integration in waltham", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "who pours scotch like a woman", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "\u266a Oh, the fiddle's in the creek \u266a \u266a and the frog's in the kitchen \u266a I apologize, ma'am. That is not a song.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "You make me very nervous. Oh, my God.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "What? Thanks a lot, lutz.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Wrong tree, mom. Gotcha.", "c": ["Unknown", "Mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I made us both rompers to wear.", "c": ["Mother"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "My...Friend has to go strangle her anxiety pillow.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "It's bad luck for a married woman to be a bridesmaid. It brings fever and disease.", "c": ["Mrs. Lutz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "How do you get credit at a mattress store?", "c": ["Mrs. Lutz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "That's what feminism does. It makes smart girls with nice birthing shapes believe in fairytales.", "c": ["Mrs. Lutz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I'm waiting for astronaut Mike Dexter.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Who turns out to be the secret king of Monaco.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Greener banana", "c": ["Mrs. Lutz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "It's not an implant. It's just a little yank up, you know? I mean, I got the meat, Jack.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Like a cantaloupe and a ziploc bag of mushroom soup.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Oh, wait, is she aquaman's girlfriend?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "That could be anyone! We all look the same to me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Ugh, these overalls are chafing. I can't wear these pajamas fishing! Pajamaralls. Pajamaralways.", "c": ["Commercial"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I think she's good enough for the star of sherlock homie.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Two women, Jack, at the same time. What are you, Italian?", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I know it's gay, but it's my gay problem, and I'm handling it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Just bring my son one of everything. That way, he doesn't have to choose.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "In Florida, everybody's always asking me, 'where did you get that? You made it? Holy crap! Where do I commission one?'", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Because of the trampoline accident.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "That is quality stitching.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Damn the tiny, brown hands that made this.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "A computer is a great big thing with a green screen.", "c": ["Liz's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I remember someone who got a three on her history ap test.", "c": ["Liz's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "while Waldo, the town perv, watched from the bushes.", "c": ["Liz's mother"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I got a job at sterling Cooper.", "c": ["Liz's mother"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Different times. Octomom.", "c": ["Liz's mother"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Not even when I watched ed aldrin walk on the moon.", "c": ["Liz's mother"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I always called him ed, because our town had, like, five buzzes.", "c": ["Liz's mother"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Laura linney could have played you in the hbo original movie moon wives!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "drive around with one headlight out", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I am a movie star, a television actor, and a guinness book of world record holder for most car accidents in a single year.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "whose resume has 'black judge' on it nine times.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "who recorded an anti-condom psa? I saved a lot of kids from lame sex!", "c": ["Novella", "Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I can't say Nicaragua.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Mrs. Donaghy keeps tricking me and running away, but not anymore. Carl, they need you out in the hall. Yes, ma'am!", "c": ["Kenneth", "Colleen"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "because chest-wise you have the measurements of an altar boy.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I've got to get back to calling Kenneth 'carl' to see if he ever corrects me. Carl! Yes, ma'am?", "c": ["Colleen", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Or I would have been born Peter aldrin. And I'd wait for a woman with the right stuff.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Now, remember, in this scenario, I'm a man and my father is an astronaut.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I saw him last night at Rupert Murdoch's twister party. I mean, uh, regular party.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Because you're talking in the ear that I didn't lose a button in.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Thank God Terry's dead, or we'd be fighting over him again too.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "And she is a good actress. I bought those pajamaralls.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Sometimes I sing too beautifully.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Then you skip the part where you yell at me. And then we both move on to the, uh, make-up sex.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "That is a swing.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "But these tactics have worked on stupider women.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I don't believe in barriers, because I always break them.", "c": ["Buzz Aldrin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I see you. I see what you're doing. Return to the night. You've no business here.", "c": ["Buzz Aldrin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I once woke up in the air and space museum with a revolver in the waistband of my Jean shorts.", "c": ["Buzz Aldrin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I own you! You dumb moon! I walked on your face! Don't you know it's day? Idiot!", "c": ["Buzz Aldrin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "even though it was Margarita Monday at dockside Joe's.", "c": ["Verna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Why does your chest feel weird? Uh, because I love you so much.", "c": ["Jenna", "Verna"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I think I'm ready for the sex talk.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "before my hereditary dementia sets in?", "c": ["Liz's mother"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I assume herpes.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I'll be circling the globe in my coffin rocket. Something I saw on tv. It's very expensive.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "I can't!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Carl would never let you down. Carl, that does not sound right. Kevin--no. Who am I? Is it Keith? No, that's not-- yes, I'm Keith.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "\u266a Don't go to sleep with a frown in your pocket \u266a \u266a take it to the yard and tie it to a rocket \u266a \u266a shoot it to the moon \u266a \u266a you'll feel better soon \u266a", "c": ["Cast"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Moms"}, {"t": "Cramer's been dead for six months.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "The Astors, the Rockefellers, the Sbarros...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "You think I don't want to know what Pizzarina Sbarro is going to be wearing?", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I'm on Dodecacil, the pill where you only get your period once a year. We're so close to beating that thing completely.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I promise you, this weekend will be filled with staring out windows while holding a glass of Scotch.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "What's that supposed to mean, you dumb douche? Oh, it's starting.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Aloha means hello and goodbye. So, aloha.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "We'll just do it together on that tour boat that's painted like a shark.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "But I would still like two meals.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "God, three weddings in one day. I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is going to get infected again.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I will rent a car, set it on fire, and drive it off a waterfall.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "He's gay. But not when he's drunk.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Sexual time travel, just like my Cinemax softcore Emmanuelle Goes to Dinosaur Land.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Meet me in the handicapped stall in 10 seconds.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Yeah, I saw this gorgeous woman putting glasses on her daughter's Mrs. Potato Head. The why is not important.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Oh, my hooks. I'm just so comfortable with them that I... Whoops.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "That was my last ungashed painting.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "So I waved from the helicopter, which, it turns out, is a big no-no.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "And it turns out the person I was waving to was not my old football coach. Of course not. You were in Zimbabwe. Well, it looked just like a black version of him.", "c": ["Drew", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I've got my hooks crossed.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Now, who's the dumb one? Ugh.", "c": ["Drew"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "It's a pun. Because cats' paws have grooves.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "And they're paying me exactly one million teachers' salaries.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "You say things like 'You don't know my pain,' and 'You watch your mouth, Tyrese,' and, in a less dramatic scene, 'I'll have hash browns.'", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "It's either this or I submit that animated film I drew about the Holocaust.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "First, we're going to see a documentary about female circumcision, and then we're going to eat too much Indian food.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Sometimes, the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing. I read that on a teabag.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "You know what? Sometimes, I think... That's great. 'You know what? Sometimes, I think...' That's really annoying. I'm going to use that.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I remember being born, of course. I remember learning how to ride a bike. But that was last year.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I remember the summer my Webelos group went camping, and we were taken by the Hill People. Next thing I knew, summer was over and it was time for back to school shopping.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "No, I don't. I was on a yacht with the Roots last week.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I've got a personalized vibration for each chick I used to put it to.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "No, no, no, Jose. Only babies out here. Don't you want to be a big boy?", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "What was the one mistake those people in Denver made? One mistake? Yeah, there was no kid in the balloon.", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "This is a public park named after Ron Artest.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Way better than the Indian joint I go to in Boston. O'Doyle's.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "A warm glass of milk and some John Phillip Sousa marches.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "No! [Liz's horrified reaction to seeing Wesley]", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Stop doing that. You look idiotic. Of course I do. Excellent pantomime is supposed to look idiotic.", "c": ["Liz", "Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "The only thing wrong with me is that you hate me. So with that as my only defect, where do I rank with all the other men that you've been with?", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "How can something that animals do be a big deal? Worms can do it with any other worm.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Also, it was after midnight on a Saturday. So technically, it was a Sunday. A man had his hands on my hips on a day that was set aside for the Lord.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Man, Catholic guilt. Am I right? [Jack's awkward silence response]", "c": ["Nancy", "Jack"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs. I watched a prostitute stab a clown.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Our basketball hoop was a ribcage. A ribcage!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Nancy is a fiery, Irish nut job, descended from bog people.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "We're like Russ and Rebecca on Chums.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Did you see the Beijing opening ceremonies? We don't have control over our people like that.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Nermal, I hate you, Nermal! Almost as much as I hate Mondays! This is my lasagna! You hear me, Nermal? My lasagna!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "A crack-head breastfeeding a rat. A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on the third rail of the G train. The G train, Nermal!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I'm a plushie. Is that a fraternity? Kind of. It means I belong to a group of like-minded people who dress up in mascot costumes. And have orgies in hotel rooms and state parks.", "c": ["Mike", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Our term for intercourse is 'yiffing'.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Speaking of which, I'm seeing someone else, and I think I'm in love with both of you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "You can't leave, Donovan. We're in the middle of Mass. You and I both know you have to stay until the final blessing.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Then, Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son's foreskin. Oh come on, Bible. Help a lady out.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I once bit into a Merino and there was a child's shoe in it!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy's!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "The projects I lived in was named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "The sewer people stole my skateboard!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 9.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land"}, {"t": "Comma, bald category.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Comma, beautiful hair category, parentheses, strong.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "They were orange and had hearts for pockets.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "I'm a mom. Give me a break.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "I was, but I forgot my bag of hair.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "It's not just the name of a bank that sued me.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "God, he came out of nowhere.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Tickle each other like teletubbies.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Two spider-mans fighting, And sometimes they make weird noises, But they're not hurting each other.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "How often did they walk in on you? A lot.", "c": ["Jack", "Nancy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "D'oh, bother! Treble bother!", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "I vowed on the snipes name I would never set foot in there again.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Specializing in the transportation industry. Fulfills my boyhood passion for train accidents.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "That's how I got out of doing foreplay with Angie.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Get it yourself, Chubbs. I'm on a coffee break.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "That's my boy.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Like a s'more you could take a shower with?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Like at a haunted house sex party. Exactly.", "c": ["Jack", "Paul"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Does the 'o' have it? 'o,' we do. Do you 'o'? 'o,' no? Let go. 'o.'", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm a doorman... To the sky. I'm a pilot.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "I know. People wear flip-flops to church.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Sky law. It's when I put on the 'fasten seatbelt' sign, And no one's allowed to move till we've had ten minutes of silence. I made the whole thing up.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "But she was bagging pretty hard on my TGS.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "'He who spelt it, dealt it.'", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Ring-ring. Hmm. What's up? Nothing. Just giving a dumb tour to a bunch of uggos.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Let's meet up later And smoke some drug cigarettes.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "You know what a great pilot would have done? Not hit the birds.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "The usual ladies' room nonsense. Girl with boyfriend troubles. Someone forgot tampons. Everybody's bad at science and math.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Smug 40-year-old bridesmaid. What a treat for everyone.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Like a spray tan that won't take because your skin is too oily.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "It's made by those who do do, Which is what made me the man I am. I do do.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Everyone there smiles creepily all the time. And that's sort of my thing.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Well, I like how she's less hot than you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Her laugh is like music. Really mean music.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "According to her, flat shoes are for quitters.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "And by the way, when I blew your mind last night, I was giving it about 50%.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Your behavior as a fiancee Has been as weak as American tea.", "c": ["Wesley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "What if the bachelorette party theme was sluts?", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Like Carroll O'Connor from Nick at nite. Exactly, Cerie. Thank you.", "c": ["Liz", "Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "And someday, when Carol sees my disgusting foot secret, He's gonna be okay with it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "You know there isn't.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "On time. I'm a pilot.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Is their gay juice in the champagne?", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "I wipe the floor with that bitch.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "I wipe the floor with that bitch.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "After the other location couldn't support the weight Of Grizz's extended family.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "I wonder what that Somali pirate's deal is. I could live on a boat.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Yeah. Let's go lez. No, I meant, like, a book club or something. Jeez.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "You have a lot of taped-up balls To come here dressed like that.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Wrong, Jack. It's a warlord's concubine dashiki.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "You walk briskly in a pilot's uniform, You can go pretty much anywhere. I've been upstairs in the white house while the obamas were sleeping.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "As long as you're not Jewish. I'm totally kidding.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "That's a girl's name. It's a family name.", "c": ["Jenna/Paul", "Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "You won't have Kenneth Ellen Parcell to kick around anymore,", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Your East coast media elite problems, Your apartment renovations, And your overpriced star wars memorabilia.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "I have watched you Throw away better food Than my family eats at Christmas. And I have loved it.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "So kiss my face!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "I Do Do"}, {"t": "Who's Jackie?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Sandwiches?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "It was so warm you could pick fully cooked lobsters out of the water", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Like a young Bo Derek stuffed with a Barry Goldwater", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "You sound weird. Do you have a beard?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "No more making love on the beach surrounded by a privacy circle of English-trained butlers", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Get this, my gynecologist committed suicide", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "And I'm back!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "No, wait, actually that's a half-burned-down McDonald's", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Who flies Newark to Atlantic City? Black bachelorette parties", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Oh, I misdialed. I thought I was calling my nutritionist", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "We're already printing all of our internal memos on the back of my kids' art", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit with both anglophiles and pedophiles", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "The movie division has a James Cameron movie the whole world will see, whether they like it or not", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Only NBC continues to be the engorged whitehead on the otherwise flawless face of Universal Media", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Tracy's head size keeps changing", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Everyone must make eye contact with Miss Maroney at all times", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Like executive producer Ashton Kutcher, or secretary of state Hillary Clinton", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Eye contact", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "I need you to go to the dry cleaners for me and find out how martinizing works. I've always been curious", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Then I need you to be back by noon to make the bathroom smell like sandalwood before I wreck it", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "I'm not Kenneth, sir. My name's Brian. Kenneth got fired at the end of last season", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Of course. I knew that", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Did you know that if you're a pilot, that Chili's will seat you right away, even if the pilot's dinner companion has just been yelling at the hostess?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "You are the Jackie O of our time", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Why would he? Those Starwinds are nice! I mean, the bathtubs are so much cleaner than at home", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "It's almost as bad as 'climax'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Then one of you says, 'we should redecorate.' And the other one says, 'please, Avery, I'm using the commode right now.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "a reddish-brown shade called 'elk tongue'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "This is how I know you've never had an adult relationship", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Before you know it, she'll have me wearing jeans and reading fiction!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "If an apple and a feather fall at the same time...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "He ran away, Lemon. Rather than engage in battle, he would retreat and retreat until the enemy grew fatigued and eventually made a mistake", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Although I abhor it as a military strategy, it is the basis for all of my, uh, personal relationships", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "So Avery is your enemy. That sounds healthy", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Meeting someone in a hotel room twice a month is not a relationship... just ask any hooker", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "I was going to say 'climax.' Aah!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "It takes people and turns them into amounts of money", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Except for Tracy, I'm the most person on the show!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "You should fire Grace from wardrobe. She doesn't do anything", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Come on, you'd have to be a heartless monster... I'll do it", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "But I've been here since the Jack Paar show", "c": ["Grace"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Your health insurance will remain in effect until the end of this sentence", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "What a shank job", "c": ["Grace"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Kenneth, I knew you'd come back! Let me smell your head", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "This is a woman's blazer from a very expensive blazer shop called Rico's", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Just like my kidneys did to my lungs that time", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Should I get my rainbow wig out of storage?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Like the World Cup", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Would you rather have to start every sentence you say for the rest of your life with Urkel's catchphrase, 'Did I do that?' Or be Siamese twins with Sharon Stone for a year?", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Did I do that? Carol!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Try five miles high. And no, I have not", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "No, but once, when I was in the Air Force, I saw Mr. T in a Pizza Hut", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Yeah, but with a lot more volleyball", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Sucked a mechanic into my engine once", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "I'll just have to run home first and take some plates out of the bathroom", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "The lady said they're all booked up for something called Jackfest", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "A middle-aged woman saying 'dude stuff'... is that on my sadness scavenger hunt?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "I'm like that woman on the Food Network whose husband only comes home on the weekends, and she spends the rest of her time eating and drinking with her gay friends", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Her name is the Barefoot Contessa, Lemon, and you will never be like her, starting with the barefoot part", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "I'll have you know that I wore sandals this summer, over socks... in a dream", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "No, you do not exist! I'm in control of this!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "This is one of the three things in the world I like... Ina Garten, sweater weather, and... When Muppets present at award shows?", "c": ["Liz", "Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "And don't you agree that our situation is perfect right now? We have these great visits together, but then we still have our separate lives. We're like Jeffrey and Ina", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "I'm not like Jeffrey Garten. I'm not as strong as that guy!", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "How many women have you been with? I'd rather not say. It's shameful. I mean, I'm a pilot... Six", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Six.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Oh, that's not so great", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "I had to spoon him for, like, an hour. And I was the outer spoon", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "her anger eventually transforming into some rather interesting sex", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "It has to be elk tongue!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "And this morning, I made love to my wife. And she was still asleep, so I didn't have to be gentle", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Are you sure? Think about it again.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "That's one of the most upsetting things I have ever imagined. Are you sure? Think about it again", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "it's cheaper for us to just replace anyone who gets murdered", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "His name is James. Not Jim, not Jimmy... Jamessss", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Have you seen my eyes, Lemon? Yep. They're very blue. Like a Mykonos sky", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Mark Foley once called them 'piercing'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Do you know what a prize I am in the gay community? There's a term for it. I'm a bear... And I'm a daddy bear", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Not a GLAAD award, I know that", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Or would you rather teach your cat to dial 911?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "And second of all, you know that I have Life Alert", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Would an imaginary me know that you have a mole on your list of pets to get? Or that your favorite color is rainbow?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Of course it would. It would know anything I knew because it sprung from my imagination", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Why don't you come back home to TGS and pick the peas out of my fried rice? And the rice. I just want carrots", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "But don't you miss rubbing my foot back into the shape of a foot?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "They gave me a tote bag with The Mentalist on it!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Obviously, I'm going to need the tote bag", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Do you see something, uh, here that you like?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "There's one too many producers, Pete. Okay, I get it. But please... I have five kids... That I don't want to be at home with", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "the last time I said that, I was in a three-way with two of the Backstreet Boys", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "why does Geico have three different spokespeople? They have the caveman, the lizard, and then the stack of money with the eyeballs", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "And the fake Rod Serling guy", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "I'm on a waiting list to adopt a kid. Touched by a priest... it's fine", "c": ["Liz", "Carol"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Is that what 'ragazzi robusti' means?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Hannibal defeated Fabian with a decoy army. James was a plant. The strie wall finish was a decoy. She Hannibaled my Fabian!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Like... Whiskey and hunting", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "She's your pube shirt", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Good night, bear! Good night moon... Soon Park from accounting", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Fabian Strategy"}, {"t": "Just because my friend is blonde and never closes her mouth fully... hey, I wasn't talking to her. I was talking to you, glasses.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "...Infected penis.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 4.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "You are... like a pretty refugee on the news.", "c": ["Liz", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "So can I finally wear that cowboy hat I bought at Kiss-FM's lake jam '97?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I want your feet in my mouth. When it rains, it pours.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Hello, 'Javery.' Time-saver.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Like God, I created man. We're having a boy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Every woman my boy dates will get compared to me, and they will be found wanting.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "This is just what I need... To store my rock collection.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "50 is the new 40... For men. But 50 is still 60 for women.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Whatevs, Tony Randall. / Whatevs, indeed, because that makes you Jack Klugman.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Damn! I'm a writer. I'm messy. I'm a loveable curmudgeon. That is solid! Advantage, Donaghy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "It was supposed to say 'peace,' but they wrote 'white hooker' instead.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I'm 'werewolfing' myself.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I've missed the birth of both of my sons for very legitimate reasons. Cooking a French-bread pizza and forgot.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "And my mood ring! And I don't know how I feel about that.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "There's something about you lately, make me want to put my feet in your mouth.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Who do they think they are... mommy and her sisters?", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I'll go down there, turn on the new Liz Lemon charm, a little Julia Roberts laugh... Ha ha ha! / What's in your teeth? / Corn.", "c": ["Liz", "Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Will I ever experience the father-son bonding of realizing you were both at the same masked orgy in a castle?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.87, "im": 9.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "And stand outside in a crowd like some Italian?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I don't get why people like brunch. What's the benefit of combining break dancing and lunch?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Good morning. Now, full disclosure... most of my experience is putting babies in women.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "The Donaghys originally come from Ireland's little known county Steve, where, historically, we were whiskey testers and goblins.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I was raised in Sadchester, Massachusetts, I won the amory blaine handsomeness scholarship to Princeton and then attended Harvard business school where I was voted 'most.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I once hit a stand-up triple off Fidel Castro.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I was the first person ever to say, 'I need a vacation from this vacation.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "The song you're so vain was, in fact, written by me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "You are hiking in the Japanese highlands. A pair of snow leopards is stalking you, and the blade of your katana is frosted into its scabbard.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Better... civil war reenactor. Kind of an expert at getting shot by, uh, smooth-bore firearms, you know? Like... kah, kah! Kah, kah, kah, kow! Blah, hah! Gah! Kaw! Kah! Kaw, kaw! Ah, death to Lincoln!", "c": ["Ritchie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "It's like I always say... 'white cab drivers are weird.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Despite having gone to middle school in an exxon station?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "It's very authentic. So don't play it around your black friends.", "c": ["Ritchie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "If you wanted to cheat on Carol with an Italian dude who smells like cigarettes, I've made it very clear I would flip over my futon for you.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "A Kiss-FM DJ once called a 'sweet lid'?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I had to be at work this morning at 11:00.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "You know, neighbors who wear my exact size don't die every day!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Because 'centipeding' means having sex with 100 women.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Fyi, they're very difficult to keep in a home aquarium.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Do not hire sting to play the reception. He'll insist on doing jazz versions of police songs, and it's just... Demoralizing.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "His death must appear to be accidental.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "The secret to a strong, healthy head of hair is dove...Blood.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Remember, the backflip is 90% confidence.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Just like the time I was cleaning my closet, and my mom and her friend Ron came in to take one of their grunting naps on my bed...", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Just like the time I was cleaning my closet, and my mom and her friend Ron came in to take one of their grunting naps on my bed...", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "We don't need you. So move on with your life, starting now. / That is called tough love.", "c": ["Jack", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Kenneth is now on a journey that will either return him here where he belongs or end... In his death.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Juggling is easier than it looks.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Thank you, Brian. Slut.", "c": ["Andrea Mitchell"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Ritchie Tamuto, islanders fan and role-playing slave owner.", "c": ["Ritchie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "His name is Carol. / That sounds really fake.", "c": ["Liz", "Ritchie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Oh, 'reallo'? I meant to say 'really.' I misspoke. Continue.", "c": ["Ritchie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I started doing fantasy hockey camp and civil war re-creationism to meet girls. But I don't know where they are.", "c": ["Ritchie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I've been sitting close enough to touch her... But a million miles away.", "c": ["Ritchie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Drugs during childbirth? Isn't the whole point feeling God punish you?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I know, 'cause I'm a descendant of Thomas Jefferson and lazy Susan herself!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I know that, because if I go back there, I'll be executed.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "'And the tree was happy.' Shel silverstein was a communist.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I got to go feed the meter.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "How many guys have a fully loaded Toyota tercel or a real pinball machine?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "How many guys have been to Canada... Twice?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Are you doing this to me because I don't share your love of unicorns?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I guess some other woman will get to enjoy that water bed that you're saving up for.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Why's that baby covered with goop? / 'Cause everything about this is disgusting.", "c": ["Tracy", "Angie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Find a woman named Elizabeth Lemon, get her advice, and then do the opposite.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Your ability to hide your true feelings is part of your great strength.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "You want to make God laugh? Make a plan... Or read him a Dave Barry book.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "There's no baby in here. / Good God! / Oh, she's in the crib. / Good.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jack", "Tracy", "Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "That Russian skank read the ultrasound wrong.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I hate to say I told you so... So welcome to Miami.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "I hate to say I told you so... So welcome to Miami.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "If you have the blondness and self-esteem of your mother, you will need no advice. Life will be easy for you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "If you're running low on laundry, a bathing suit makes perfectly acceptable underwear.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "Put potato chips on a sandwich!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "When It Rains, It Pours"}, {"t": "The writers put it on my door. I don't know what that's referring to.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Lez Lemon", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Winona Ryder in a hundred years", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Fart Barfunkel", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I don't get that, but it hurts", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "To quote Rodney Dangerfield, 'Hey, I...'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "If you're about to say that you don't get any respect, you're right.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "In a post-apocalyptic world, how would society even use you? Traveling bard. Radiation canary.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Will you ask congress where they put the USA network? I've been trying to find monk for, like, three months.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Imagine that your favorite corn chip manufacturer also owned the number one diarrhea medication. That'd be great, they could put a little sample of the medicine in each bag.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Keep thinking. Except then they might be tempted to make the corn chips give you...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Do you know who gets elected to congress these days? Former athletes, washed-up actors, and women.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "If we have to stay and there aren't enough rooms, we have to share a room, I forgot to bring a shirt to sleep in and the stores are all closed...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Jerry Bananaseed. And nothing else.", "c": ["Legal Department via Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "We can't use Jerry Bananaseed. Someone with that name killed a bunch of nurses.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I need you to get me something called vagitrax. It's for dry knees.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Inside Schwartz 21, Hill street blues, wings is fun, Golden girls, quantum leap outsourced is the new friends", "c": ["Competitive Page Candidate"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "That's like saying a guy is cool because he has just a speedboat.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "There's three things standing between you and winning: Your breasts and wanting it bad enough.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "My name is Rob Reiner. And before I became a congressman, I dabbled in television, won a couple of emmys.", "c": ["Rob Reiner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Say it, meathead.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I guess that's why big oil and Microsoft are such great American failures.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "1:32 p.m. Mark the time, ladies and gentlemen, that congress put a bullet in the head of the American farmer.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Why is NBC so racist?", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Oh, everybody born before Jesus is in hell, they went straight...", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Just like Mickey Rourke did me to sexually.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I don't know, ma'am. You made me think about it, and when I get to thinkin' 'bout it, it juh get worse.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "From the hard-working moms and dads of Smithfield to those spoiled jags at brown to a thriving, flourishing Italian criminal community in Providence.", "c": ["Congresswoman Bookman"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Why is it that NBC looks about as diverse as a Wilco concert?", "c": ["Congresswoman Bookman"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Why did we cancel that? That doesn't make any sense.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I don't really see color or gender, Mr. Chang.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb. Peas and carrots.", "c": ["Background actors"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "That's Tracy Jordan spelled backwards.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Call Grizz. I need someone around who's not just a yes man. Whatever you say, Tray.", "c": ["Tracy", "Dotcom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "The Chinese built the railroads, the Irish built and then filled the jails... A guy named Juan built my armoire.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I was too busy trying to remember the name of the black kid on community. D'nall glover.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I may have lost my train of thought several minutes ago, but if I continue to talk like this, no one will notice, and when I stop, you will applaud my energy.", "c": ["Congresswoman Bookman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Well, Lutz claims to be Inuit. At least that was his explanation when I found his poem about snow.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "So we know he's smart and superb at masturbation.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Monty Appleseed and I share a liquor locker at the opera.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I forgot my doctor said no more frustrated noises, 'cause it makes my vocal cords go... Now it's gonna be like this all day.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I wish you weren't such a Houston foreclosure of a human being.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Why? It was a tentpole! A tentpole!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "What if there was a talking dog? I'd like to see that incorporated into your rewrite.", "c": ["Tracy", "Dotcom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Thank you, NBC. For all the laughs and tears. Once home to Kelsey Grammer, The golden girls, My name is Earl, The A-Team and cheers.", "c": ["Singer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "It means the badger in Spanish. I'm not sure who did it.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Tejon face. Is this about the TV interview?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Aqui viene el tejon!", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Good. And there's a lot of buzz. Can you hear it too? Or is my tinnitus acting up?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "But they don't have women's sports bars. Men can have cramping too, you know.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Magnolia bakery? Oh, sorry, hips.", "c": ["Congresswoman Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "The bridge was supposed to be shuffle-ball-change, maxi Ford, Cincinnati, Cincinnati, double-time shim-sham-shimmy, toe punch.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "If I hadn't seen you come out of me in that parking lot, I'd swear you weren't my daughter.", "c": ["Jenna as her mother"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Or my name isn't Yustrepa Gronkowitz. I mean, Jenna Maroney.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I would argue that TV is more of a boys club than a white club.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I like your dress. Do you have to wear a bra with it?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "That's me in college. That's not great.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "But, sir, I was born in Palo Alto.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I'd like to tell you that we filled the minority slot in the NBC page program with a native American fellow named wants to get sandwiches, but you made me hire that guy instead.", "c": ["Jeffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "That young man is a hillbilly with a girl's middle name and, because his county never rejoined the union, a foreigner.", "c": ["Congresswoman Bookman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Now you're untied? Have you two been talking?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Tell me, you obviously lonely and tired woman.", "c": ["Congresswoman Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "This country was founded on certain principles. Freedom, troops, America, flag. Now I might not ow where I'm going with this, but I know we will get there together!", "c": ["Congresswoman Bookman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "There are thousands of jobs at stake, hundreds of second homes, and your ridiculous grandstanding could ruin the whole thing, like luffing your spinnaker during a yachting regatta.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Yes, maybe I get carried away sometimes with my love for this great country and the troops and the flagtroops...", "c": ["Congresswoman Bookman"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "The first generation works their fingers to the bone making things. The next generation goes to college, innovates new ideas. The third generation... snowboards and takes improv classes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "I'm cutting that fat cracker's head off. I'm part eskimo. Hate crime!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "We were here first!", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "You think you got it hard, I've got two dates tonight. Stanley, even for a dog, you are a dog.", "c": ["Characters in Tracy's show"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Ain't life a bitch?", "c": ["Character in Tracy's show"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Lets Stay Together"}, {"t": "Everything look like a mexican soap opera.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "God, I can see every line and pore on your face!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "You look like a YMCA climbing wall.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "What is that word? Brains.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Remember what happened that time I tried to give up refined sugars?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Looking good, Liz.", "c": ["unknown character", "Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Our bodies, we don't want all that processed junk. I don't know if you've read Michael Pollan... Who wants donuts? I'll kill you!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "How come you better-looking in your memory? My memory has Seinfeld money.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "And therefore, Avery has got me this very nice tea set, some knitting needles and yarn and a book on sleight-of-hand magic.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "That's as far as I've gotten.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "I'm dreading watching it sober.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "I seem to have forgotten to put you on it.", "c": ["Unknown assistant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, hurry up, Aladdin. Before Jasmine is forced to marry Jafar.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Jonathan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Are you turning 1,000?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Really, you want to play this game with a comedy writer?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Yes, bullet in brain move. Much hospital.", "c": ["Jadwiga"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Happy days is my favorite show.", "c": ["Jadwiga"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "His office is bathroom, just like Jadwiga.", "c": ["Jadwiga"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "A Mr. Brett Favr\u00e9 stopped by, and dropped off this picture of a hot dog.", "c": ["Assistant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "I guess they're geniuses for getting stuck in a mine.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Thanks, Obama care.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Of course, not. His album doesn't drop until December.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "It was even funnier than the porn version", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "You should have. Those dudes were awesome.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "I swear on my mother's grape. - Did you say grave or grape? - Yes, good-bye.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "It was Angels in America, Tray!", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Whoever standing next to him, it's stupid! That guy is stupid. Now, she is. Now they are. Now I were.", "c": ["Assistant"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Wait, did I just hear that correctly? Because last year, I wrote a song called It's your Birthday, Slut.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "You say that it's your birthday Time to skank it up hard Choke a cup with your panties", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Did you just knit that?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Get out of here!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Fox News. A division of Fox nonsense incorporated.", "c": ["Unknown anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "I'm doing something called 'breaking'!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "But couldn't the real cause of E.D. be that we haven't produced a good doing-it song since Close the Door by Teddy Pendergrass?", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Tie me to my radiator and put food just out of reach", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "I lookout for her, we're friends with benefits.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "They're rich and they have attention deficit disorder.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Did you say scout or krout?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "The in-flight meal was a frittata. Oh, my God. At night?", "c": ["Carol", "Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "I also need you to TiVO Bones for me in case I survive.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "I was on stage in Pippin with Irene Ryan when she died, and I kept on going.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Sit on it.", "c": ["Jadwiga"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "It gives these ability to hit on women and later when we're married to tune them out.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Damn you, she-beasts!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Yes, but my penis was smaller.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "I could really drink a forty right now.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "My Oprah wig is falling off!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "It is nipple time!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Number of which became available after a giant explosion at a Josh Groban's concert.", "c": ["Dr. Drew"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "Does it mean that what happened can be used to power a lumbermill?", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "The capital one venture card is amazing. They give double miles every day for every purchase!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "You stole an old cleaning lady's birthday just to make me happy? In my defense, yes.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "You may turn me into a crow.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "You're halfway to death.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Live Show"}, {"t": "We put a bunch of people on a plane, fly them over the Atlantic, then Tom Bergeron comes out and reveals that the pilot is a six year-old boy. We call it 'Child Hell Flight.'", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "He is pitching a no-hitter!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Starting at 4:00 p.m. Yesterday, when Mr. Donaghy coined the word 'innoventually,' he has been flawless.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Because you have so many unsolvable problems. Like your mouth. It looks like someone kicked a hole in a bag of flour!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "'Child Hell Flight' will innoventually be on the spring schedule.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "When you're pitching a perfect game, you don't walk Albert Pujols. And you are the Albert Pujols of having problems.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "And I'm including sex last night. Here's Avery's thank-you note.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "No. But she respects it when it's done correctly.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Making it to a full 24 hours without a single misstep is called 'Reaganing'. The only other people who've ever done it? Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, and, no judgment, Saddam Hussein.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "And I can't get a cab because Greece is playing Pakistan in soccer.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I have to talk to Rachel Maddow. Only one of us can have this haircut.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "My single is number four in Japan! Choke me, choke me, Blonde-like choke me", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Because if I do, that judge is gonna make me join the Coast Guard.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Ice cream. Hey, don't you want some ice cream?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "If I want to see a 50-foot Spider-Man, I'll just go into my rec room, thank you.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Well, one of the camera guys just had a baby, and I'm sick of hearing about it. This will put me back on top!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "When I see you chew your nails like that, it's either you're very anxious or you handled some ham earlier.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "A guy on crutches bit it in the revolving door. And he was so scared!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Well, I found my first gray toeknuckle hair!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "If I could press a button and five people in the world would die, but I'd get free cable for life, I'd do it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "And I'd been on the toilet so long that my legs had fallen asleep, so when I tried to stand, I just fell into my throw-up.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "You and I have never had an adult conversation about boning.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I faced it myself with Greta Van Susteren before her head transplant.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I freaked out, and my junk closed for business. It's like Fort Knox down there.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I'm just going to raise the barrier if that's okey-dokey with everybody.", "c": ["Taxi Driver"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Scripts get in the way of my process, Shawn. Let's just shoot a hundred of these and see what we get.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "'Jenny?' That's not my name! I don't want Wheelchair Jenny from Accounting getting credit for my cake!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "We've had to sell off Sally, Julie, and Poppy. Are those some of your pigs? Yes.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "You have more sexual hang-ups than an adult chat line run by Gilbert Gottfried.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "That was written by a computer program we're working on to replace you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Oh, that word bums me out unless it's between the words 'meat' and 'pizza.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I'm a real woman and not some oversexed New York nympho like those sluts on 'Everybody Loves Raymond'.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Stop it, Jack! Stop it! Stop asking about the roller skates!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "We're the luckiest people on earth! Now, someone get me a Jolt Cola! It does not exist anymore!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "She must have thought you meant credit card. How many cashiers are at that store? Two! This is fun!", "c": ["Jenna", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "It's been years since my mom and I used to pull slip-and-falls at supermarkets.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I don't understand what you're saying, but I like that it has the word 'we' in it!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Yes, 'Bappy Hirthday, Gremlin'.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Well, Liz, will you tell the Gipper your sexual story?", "c": ["Jack as Reagan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "which everybody thought was a Dorothy Hamill but was actually a Pete Rose.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Grizzly Adams. Larry Wilcox. Han Solo. Tug McGraw. Mike Schmidt. Kermit. Gunther Gebel-Williams! She took all the people away, Jack! Sex makes the people go away!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Adding brick after brick to our friendship castle so it someday reaches the sky!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "If Cookie Puss knew, he'd tear us apart with his fangs!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "And with enough money, they could buy those magic beans from that old hermit. We'd be rich!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I am the Sisyphus of Reaganing.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's the kind of stuff I should be saying!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "how they would use jellybeans to convince people that he was...", "c": ["Jack as Reagan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I'm sending you some money so you can get your operation. Now can you put a human on the phone?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Anybody gets hurt during the score, we leave them behind to die.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Isn't it 'Frasier'? No, it's 'Frajer'. And I should know. I'm Frajer.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Carvel Employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I should throw some tossed salad and scrambled eggs at you! Frajer!", "c": ["Carvel Employee"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "$800 split three ways. Those ice cream saps will rue the day they ever tangled with... the Best Friends Gang!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "It's $20 for a party, $60 to bite me during it. I'll do stuff with a dog, but I get to pick the dog.", "c": ["Prostitute"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "You two are pretty uptight for hanging out under a bridge.", "c": ["Prostitute"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I just got fired 'cause Kelsey Grammer scammed me!", "c": ["Carvel Employee"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Through seduction!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I hope you get into a car accident someday so I can have it.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "In certain lights you're an eight using East Coast over-35 standards excluding Miami.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.56, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "But if I couldn't get it done in Vegas after a Penn and Teller show, I don't know how it's going to happen here.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Yes! When this happened with Joel, 'What's new, pussycat?' was playing on the bus we were on... I mean, the room we were in!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I appreciate that, Lemon, but if you ever speak ill of Reagan again, I will smack those teeth straight.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "Oh, God no! You've got years of therapy ahead of you. Probably electroshock.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I appreciate that, Lemon, but if you ever speak ill of Reagan again, I will smack those teeth straight.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "He's at JFK! I wrote it down wrong!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "I have been sexually rejected by not one, but two guys who later went to clown college.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "And one time in summer camp I kissed a girl on a dare, but then she drowned.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Reaganing"}, {"t": "So she can ride the maid! It is adorable.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Lemon went to middle school with a Charlotte who used to rub herself against a tree during recess.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Drive, intelligence, humility, chaos... or the acronym 'dihc.' I'm looking for dihc, Avery. And I'm gonna take it wherever I can find it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.59, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Maybe you and Liz can raise it.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Crazy hormone swing.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Why does everything smell like onions?", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 4.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Lemon. Boundaries.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "They're just updating Tracy's to include his recent submarine D.U.I.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Tom was a fellow from my town we accidentally buried alive.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Funny story, after we dug him back up, he tried to kill all of us.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Telephone etiquette is important. It lets people know your race even when they can't see you.", "c": ["Dick Lemon"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Not really, I was gonna take this class called 'cooking for one,' but the teacher killed himself.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "With you and mom here, the doormen will have to eat their words about me never having friends over.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Can't a guy have a little fun? - What is wrong with you? - What's wrong with you?", "c": ["Dick Lemon", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Tracy Jordan, star of the fat bitch movies, was also voted 'worst representation of a black man' nine years in a row.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "And thank God I didn't anybody, and thank God I my. And giving the queen parvo.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "That's how my grandkids will remember me as they fly around in their jet-packs?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Who, Mark Cuban? That guy ran me over with a jet ski.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Typical liberal media.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "If they used any of the footage from my shoplifting arrest, that would be great because my arms looked fantastic.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "It must be my 'sesuality', because I am so very 'sesual'. You like that?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "She's put on considerable boob weight. She's not used to that, and sometimes she... just falls over.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Blammo. Solved it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "I played arts and literature in the film adaptation of Trivial Pursuit.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Kim Jong-il? I never heard of her.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "My pinky. - No, sir. - Then you wouldn't be perfect anymore.", "c": ["Jack", "Jonathan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "No, watch! I'll cut off my pinky and tell him it's yours.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "A very hip Latino-sounding blur at Mervyn's said I looked good in it.", "c": ["Dick Lemon"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "you show up here looking like you've been on spring break for 300 years", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Your 'gentleman's intermission.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Tonight, we're doing a push-up, and tomorrow, we're going to a bar called 'Swingles.'", "c": ["Dick Lemon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Gary's wife just died a couple of days ago, and he hasn't returned the hospital bed, so I can sleep there!", "c": ["Dick Lemon"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Now, where's the door? - I'm not telling! - Cold. You need your glasses. Colder.", "c": ["Dick Lemon", "Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Sure, I Google myself all the time. Like when Angie's not in the mood, or I'm alone in the hotel.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "You do know that Googling yourself means looking yourself up on the Internet. - I did not know that. That explains why Liz Lemon was so cool the other day.", "c": ["Jenna", "Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Liz Lemon, you mind if I Google myself in your office? - Sure. - Can I use your computer? - How else are you gonna do it?", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "When I go to sleep, nothing happens in the world.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Maybe they'd stop calling him a 'bald wang' in front of the babysitter.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "With guys like that, I always just say, 'who's younger... me or your daughter?' That usually creeps them out enough that they leave.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Not me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "he owns the world's only giraffe basketball team, the New York necks.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Oh, really? Well, so are you!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Like the song, I am taking on my business.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "You're not welcoming people to castle Frankenstein.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "We work for the FBI. Female Body Inspectors.", "c": ["Dick Lemon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Because that ass is... - My father worked at Philadelphia power and light.", "c": ["Dick Lemon", "Cerie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "This woman's trying to hit on her own father!", "c": ["Someone at bar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Let's go hit that bar with the cool rainbow flags.", "c": ["Dick Lemon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "and three-time Tony... Shaloub sex partner", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Jenna Maroney, dead at... 32.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Then you said, 'read back what we have so far.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "If I save it, I'm a double hero.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Let him hold a miniature golf scoring pencil to make them look normal, obviously.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "I would never say this to her face, but Lemon is above average.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "I'm not interested in this position unless I'm gonna be constantly praised. And I won't cut my hair.", "c": ["Young executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "My obituary will read 'Oscar winner' instead of 'children's soccer heckler'.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "I left Tracy Jr. in Atlantic City!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Die, hero cat! I hate you! I said I'm gonna kill that cat! Killing cats is wrong! Unless it's to make a hat! My skull!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "That makes me a double hero! Try to deny me my obit now, you jags!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "I'm wearing a Duane reade bag as underwear today.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "I'm a mighty great white shark, Lemon, and you are a remora, clinging to me with your suction cup head.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "eat my parasites.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna kick your ass so hard, you're gonna be throwing up my toenails.", "c": ["Jack as fake boyfriend"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "I'm a corrupt cop! My brother's a corrupt fireman. He's gonna set you on fire, and I am not gonna investigate it.", "c": ["Jack as fake boyfriend"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Actually, I don't have grandchildren. - Tricia told me you have a daughter. What's wrong with her?", "c": ["Dick Lemon", "Jack as fake boyfriend"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Daphne Donaghy I saw a turtle!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "She can strip her way through community college. Come on.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "And every Tina I've known is a real judgmental bitch.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Gentlemans Intermission"}, {"t": "Maybe later I can get a paps mirror from an old male doctor.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "It's huge with all the young people. I mean... all the us.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Because before this was a clothing store, it was a mental hospital. It's winky and fun, Liz.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I swear to Kaballah monster.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Boy on the bottom, girl on the top.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "O.M. God, those jeans are zing!", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Or it's a club drug made from a tooth whitener. Either way you win.", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "No. Burn them. Burn them!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I was attacked in my apartment...", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Making political hay out of the wheat field that is the NBC-Kabletown merger", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "What is that for? It just makes the screen go blue.", "c": ["Regina Bookman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "It's not your fault nobody watched America's next top black guy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Bookman is obviously holding a gun to my head. And no matter what I do, she obviously wants me to fail. But if she loses... This isn't a conversation!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I thought you said you didn't need any more friends.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "'Zing leg-tubes, Liz. Vunderhinder!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Gay Town, White Harlem, and the Van Beardswick section of Brooklyn", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "These jeans totally make up for all the times I took a long, hot shower because I was bored.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Make that all three of us. Jenna, a word. Specifically, the word 'talking.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "And I just learned about air quotes.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I talked about your movie with my therapist last week for 20 hours.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "It's called Jenna Gets Hard.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "HOFPA? - Yeah. - That's the Golden Globes. The second-most-important awards in Hollywood... After the People's Choice Awards... Where the fans are in charge.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Be bad at snapping. Got it.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "You're asking me?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Actually, I go by Steve Austin. That way people see my name on ballots, they think I'm the wrestler, and they vote for me.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I don't join 'em, and I never get invited to 'em...Hint, hint.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Goo goo gaa gaa, Jack.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I will clean out Washington, like it's the bathroom of a paintball facility.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "And if you're blind, I am the wrestler.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Can I take that in two weeks?", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Dwarves, tiny buildings... Pizza bagels for lunch.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Or no government at all. If it works in Antarctica, why can't it work here?", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "What happens inside a man's own rain poncho at a minor league baseball game is his own business.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Goo goo gaa gaa.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Kenneth is our human Sushi platter", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Lying perfectly still reminds me of hiding under our porch during a hill people rampage.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I should get a chafing dish and fill it with my underwear in case some Saudi guys show up.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "You, the person who is still jealous of the attention baby Jessica got", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I trust award shows. They tell me how much to care about different dead people.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "sister, can you spare a breast?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Just like I did to my niece when she tried to sing at our family's Christmas party.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Me, silly. I'm more aware of what I'm doing.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Lemon, those jeans make you look like a Mexican sports reporter.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "You probably know me from the future, where I am the president of the United States.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "My name is Steve Austin, and if you're senile, yes, I am the six-million dollar man!", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I got a zappos box coming today, and there's nobody there to pick it up because my wife left me for my twin brother.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I walk around all day with a CIA tracking device in my pocket.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "What is going on today? Has everyone lost their moral compass?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "You're being awfully high and mighty for someone who once claimed her husband drowned so she could get out of a gym contract.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Technically, I am a freelancer, which is pretty much a modern-day cowboy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Also by eating beans out of a can due to impatience.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "But hey, it's not all bad, 'cause you get to watch me walk away.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know it's not a house, but I sleep there.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Like the political ones where you think there'll be no boobies, then bam! Boobies.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I think the better question is, what isn't an actor? A lamp. A couch. That mirror. Or a hidden pistol.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Now the only thing I use a football for is as a toilet.", "c": ["Tracy in movie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Funny thing to happen to a guy named 'lucky.'", "c": ["Tracy in movie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Hand me that shovel so I can dig a grave for her.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "My generation never votes. It interferes with talking about ourselves all the time.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Brooklyn Zack. He throws pool parties in dumpsters.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "they had sweatshops make them into messenger bags to sell to outer-borough idiots.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "It's pronounced hond-made in oosa. The hond people are a vietnamese slave tribe, and USA is their island prison.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "You know how they get the stitching so small? Orphans.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Brooklyn Zack is real. He just got back from Peru, where he met a family that's been making hats for 2,000 years.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "The New York times is owned by NYT incorporated, which is owned by Altheon Ballistic Dynamics, which is owned by the Murdoch family, who are owned... By Halliburton.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Halliburton, bitch. So what?", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Oh, so gay men can't be conservative? You're so 'norant. That's short for ignorant.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "His great grandfather was Domingo Halliburton.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Perlman, isn't that last name Jew...", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll add to it by making some mysterious sounds. - Oooooohhh... Yeeee-eeee... - I love it.", "c": ["Steve Austin", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Your mother exploded.", "c": ["Tracy in movie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "That movie gave me drunk-in-the-bathtub face.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Like Anne Coulter's underwear.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "\u266a back it up, back it up \u266a \u266a and drop it like it's hot \u266a \u266a drop it like it's hot \u266a \u266a I will haunt your dreams \u266a", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I believe in Steve Austin and his plan to put a casino on the moon.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Like waking up next to Rob Schneider furious.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Compromises are for lesser souls. Die, werewolf zombie!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I would hit that. - Too small.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Lesbian Mario brothers.", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "And I'm including 2008's turtleneck with smiley-face vest.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "because in my shorteralls I found a bag of tastetations, a discontinued chocolate hard candy", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "I will never allow casinos on the moon!", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "\u266a Ooga booga big \u266a \u266a ooga booga strong \u266a \u266a I am going to sing my ooga booga song \u266a \u266a ooga booga big \u266a \u266a ooga booga strong \u266a", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "That's worse than the speech my grandpa made when my cousin married a Japanese girl.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Cake boy!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "We should bring back slavery!", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "As God is my witness, we will build casinos on the moon!", "c": ["Steve Austin"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Brooklyn Without Limits"}, {"t": "Liz, women wearing men's watches is so over. The new thing is to get an Adam's apple.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "My mom just had this fixed for me. It was my grandfather's. He worked for years at Union Station in D.C. As a pickpocket.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "What is this, Jabba's pleasure skiff?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Get a tub of New suits from the suit emporium. Kabletown guys notice. Your hair grows back. Everything grows back.", "c": ["Crew member"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "That game is not for softhands and faceworkers. It's for strongs and lifters.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Your boos are not scaring me. I know most of you are not ghosts.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "How did you know that? You're like rain man. Quick, how many toothpicks are on the ground? - Zero. - You need to go to Vegas.", "c": ["Crew members"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "I said time to end the charade and adjust my schedule to buy a new vase.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Schedule. Ha! Stay in the corner.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "America. Whiskey. Liberal.", "c": ["Jack's voice on computer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Lemon...lesbian...Frankenstein... wants her shoes back.", "c": ["Jack's voice on computer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Just out of frame is a wheelbarrow full of cocaine.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "So why the trip down memory lame? Ha ha! High-fiving a million angels.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "And a G.E. woman for one week of corporate espionage at Revlon.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "They wanted me to record every word of the dictionary to preserve the perfect American accent in case of nuclear war.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Oh, the things it's been dragged into. Thomas the tank engine. Wu-Tang songs. \u266a Ah, yeah, just like that \u266a \u266a make 'em clap, make 'em clap \u266a", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Huh, I always forget you used to be poor.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "It began when my father left and I started working on the Boston docks as a 12-year-old stevedore. Bales up, you micks! Bales up!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "It wasn't the feces that got to you, Lemon. It was the crudely scrawled notes of 'help me.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "The fall of 1988. A young Liz Lemon enters the university of Maryland. Richard Marx haircut. Pilonidal cyst under control.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Don't worry about getting to your point. I'm going to live forever.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "A blonde girl high-fived me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Paula's nickname for my penis.", "c": ["Crew member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Wait, for real? - You know it, Arriflex.", "c": ["Liz", "Crew member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Well, on some level, yeah. That's a four. That's a nine.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "What about three years ago when I said there should be more TV shows about cake?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "They'll probably give me a crystal plaque, and I in turn will reward one of them with a name remembrance.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Oh, Lemon, please. Money can't buy happiness. It is happiness.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "I love unicorns.", "c": ["Drunk crew member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Obama is very presidential.", "c": ["Jack's voice on website"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "When some of us had to spend their freshman year making those recordings. And leading a disastrous monkey escape.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Say Hey, Willie mays.", "c": ["Crew member"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "You know, usually everyone around here makes me feel like Hitler. But today I feel like Hitler in Germany.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Wow, I would experiment with that girl. - Too small. - That's me for two weeks in college.", "c": ["Jenna", "Unknown", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "You probably said 'fortnight.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "I'm the hot blonde. And I'm the nerd who takes off his glasses and everyone realizes he's handsome. And you're the R.A.", "c": ["Jenna", "Lutz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Only if R.A. stands for 'really awesome.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Oh, okay, look. What happened was Suzanne from ad sales got pushed into me in the elevator. I didn't try to touch her. And the sort of 'unh' sound I made was about something else.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "You know, whenever I tell my wife a work story, she pointed this out the other day... I always... always smile a little when I'm talking about you.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "\u266a Rollin' with my homie, me and Jackie d. \u266a \u266a Bitches get ready for a sex party \u266a", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "'cause it's too much fun.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "What? It's me, the lizard. You can start calling me that. Look, we appreciate what you did for the crew last night, but you left some people out and that's not cool. What are you talking about? The Blizzard wouldn't do that. That's another option.", "c": ["Liz", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "And who knows what it's gonna be? - Only the blizbian knows.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "This is why I hated my first two weeks at the royal Tampa academy of dramatic tricks. No one knew who was the sluttiest. But I showed them. Oh, I showed them all. And when we graduated a week later...", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Look, there is no cool Liz. There's only R.A. Liz. You're wrong. My glasses are dirty. Ogbert?", "c": ["Toofer", "Liz", "Toofer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Sir, this lab requires clearance. Clearance? I'm your boss. I'm Jack Donaghy. I'm sorry, your names all sound the same to us, John Donovan.", "c": ["Indian engineer", "Jack", "Indian engineer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Trivection? What is this, 2009? The future is the tk-421. A new model? How many vections does it have? Five.", "c": ["Indian engineer", "Jack", "Indian engineer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Popcorn setting medium.", "c": ["Jack's voice on microwave"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Well, which time?", "c": ["Indian engineer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "You know my uncle was a tinkerer. Until the FBI shot him.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "But after I left Kentucky Mountain Bible College, it still kept going. Until it was shut down because of the wolves.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Television studies with a minor in Bible sexuality.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Damn it, it's supposed to do that.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "I don't even care that we've taken a 73-minute break to eat it.", "c": ["Crew member"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Hey, somebody brought a dog to work. Oh, and it definitely doesn't have any of its own waste on its feet... Oh!", "c": ["Crew member"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "I totally forgot, Broseph. You're a lactose-intolerant alcoholic.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Lizard, lizard, lizard! Lizard, lizard! Lizard! Lizard! Lizard!", "c": ["Crew"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Make sure you wear one of those Mexican ponchos.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Why don't you ask Choctee, an inuit who wants a hot bowl of naglak... a man and food I just made up to illustrate a point?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "At least that's what my Nana is telling me from that tunnel of light behind you.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Your Nana is an idiot.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "You know I'm not a delivery man. I'm wearing a suit and carrying a microwave.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "1985. That's not a time. I guess it could be a year. The year I started working here, actually. That's interesting. 1985.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "You all sound the same to us, Jock Dungaree.", "c": ["Indian engineer"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Goodbye. Potato. Goodbye.", "c": ["Young Jack's voice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Are we racist, or do those guys look a lot alike?", "c": ["Restaurant worker"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "She had overlapping pregnancies five months apart.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "\u266a I don't know the words except park bench \u266a", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Not stolen property of Adolf Lemon?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "And if I see that filthy dog again, I will put it down. I will put it down with a smile.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "I love you too. High-fiving a million angels.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Maybe what I see as red, you perceive as green.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "Oh, god, she means the pizza. No, she's unhinging her jaw!", "c": ["Jack", "Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "College"}, {"t": "It was opportunity knocking. / No one knocked. You just barged in. / Knock, knock!", "c": ["Jack", "Tracy", "Donald"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "You remember Donald, my son who's two years older than me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "As I recall, you own the Tracy Jordan Institute for Black Karate.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "You wouldn't believe this, but that business failed. / I blame Obama.", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "NASCAR's Fat Load Caf\u00e9 is a gold mine.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Se\u00f1or Mexico, hola. S\u00ed, s\u00ed. Yo soy Donald, s\u00ed. \u00bf \u00c3ndale, \u00e1ndale? \u00bf Arriba, arriba?", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Jenna and I are mirroring until we achieve touchless orgasm. / And... finished.", "c": ["Paul", "Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I might as well be working at a roller-skating drag-queen restaurant under Taliban rule!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "And I will say yes when Paul proposes... that we make a sex tape and leak it on the Internet. / Oh. I thought you meant marriage.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "God, no! Marriage is like death. You settle into a routine, you lose all the spark.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "No, relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something's wrong.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Because we are not sharks. We are legless turtles rotting on the beach.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "That's an excellent question. The answer is questions like that.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I believe that, when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest or your tailor or the mute elevator porter at your men's club.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Then you take that problem and crush it with your mind vise.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "But for lesser beings, like curly-haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Because, and I mean this, I'm tired of talking this much to a woman I'm not having sex with.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Why did you choose that name? / Because 'staples' means 'the basics.' / Staples is also a giant office-supply chain. / Well, we'll see who's still in business 200 years from now.", "c": ["Jack", "Donald"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Donald, I'm going to pick a problem at random. Is the theme of your restaurant Not Enough Tables?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Well, I took that model and replaced the knights with unlicensed versions of Japanese monsters.", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Witness the primeval might that is Godzila, with one 'L' for trademark reasons!", "c": ["Restaurant performer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Donald, George punched my crotch! / You liked it!", "c": ["Unknown performer", "Donald"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Stewart, Brenda, Amber, Crystal. Also, in the background, I heard lady giggles and the sound of a beautiful sunset.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "everyone I ever dated in high school turned out to be either gay or a girl dressed as a guy to get a journalism scholarship.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "When I was seven, I asked for a CB radio for Christmas so I could track gas prices around the state for a cool chart I was making.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "You're a bigger disappointment than our current president, Jimmy Carter!", "c": ["Young Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I am a fraud, little boy! My wife still thinks I work at the bank!", "c": ["Mall Santa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Miss Lemon, there's a reason God gave us two ears and only one mouth. Listening is twice as important as talking.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "But He gave us ten fingers. He must really want us to poke things! Poke, poke, poke!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "What about Brown and Folderson? / That's what I call my wallet!", "c": ["Jack", "Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Come on. The boy's only 43 years old.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "For example, curly-haired men and people who need glasses.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "And I bankrolled that, too! Thank God we tested it with a monkey first!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "So far, I have 8 'nos' and 25 'shove it up your goon-holes.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Here's a fun game! Put on Harry's cologne and give me a back rub in the bath!", "c": ["Aunt Linda"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. My trust issues and my food issues are connected! Uncle Harold is the reason eggs make me gag!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Kenneth, you're the perfect therapist. I can dump all of my problems on you, walk away, and move on with my life! It's a win-win!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Why did she have to say 'Harold'?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "He said they live in a 'soo-borb'? / Suburb. Come on, Jenna.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Call me old-fashioned, but I think that's the man's job.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I know it means this conversation is disgusting.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Tracy, do not laugh at the word 'duty.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "For the love of God, stop calling him 'Daddy.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I'm gonna call it Microsoft.", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Look at his head shape. He has no brain pan!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "And so am I! I'm Cheryl.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "You dump your problems on some half-baked Barney Fife, and you can start a chain reaction of mental anguish.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Put your mental burden in my mind vise, and I will crush it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Please let Harold be human. / Harold was a pig.", "c": ["Jack", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "But I needed $300 for the river ferry-train-oxcart-train-bus ticket.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Why, I once ate an entire witch. A pig was nothing!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I would have recognized those eyes anywhere.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "It was Harold, and I ate all of him... even the face, in case of a tie.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "His sacrifice made you what you are today, which is... the lowest-level employee at the last-place network in America.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "During Nude Hour, I got custard all over my penis.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I mean, come on, why can't we just paint each other's toenails, watch vintage pornography, and then go to bed in our swing like a normal couple?", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Well, there's a sex resort in Japan where white people are treated like slaves.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I'm saying adopting a dog so it can watch us make love and then returning it, claiming that it bit our imaginary child, is everything that I need.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I'll trust you to fairly divide up our panties.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Look how small my head is. / Oh, my! It's so tiny!", "c": ["Liz", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Too late. Look how we're positioned.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Well, looky here. Doctor Jack, the boy who wants to be a scientist. Chowderhead can't even say the words. You'll never be nothin'!", "c": ["Jimmy Donaghy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I am a protoin! Protein! All living orgasms... I mean orgasms!", "c": ["Young Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "says they're beautiful even when they're ugly, thinks they're smart even when they go to Arizona State.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "That's a nice long speech and all, but your daddy was right. You couldn't be a scientist. You couldn't even be protein in a school play.", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I... am a protein! All living organisms need me to function! A basic building block of the human body, I am made from amino acids found in ribosomes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Proteins give energy to everything from flowers and butterflies to heroes who turn in Communists.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Daddy, can I have $50,000 to start a business where people can call in and get air-quality reports from all across the United States? I'm gonna call it... American Airlines!", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "This is what happens when you work at being happy! Godzilla sits next to you while you're eating an egg-salad sandwich.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "I've got no real skills, a degree in Theater Tech, so you move back to Pennsylvania, live with your parents. All of your old friends have kids and careers, and what do you have? Maybe your name on a TV show that no one will even remember.", "c": ["Godzilla performer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "Damn you, Gojira!", "c": ["Godzilla performer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Chain Reaction Of Mental Anguish"}, {"t": "You want to go to the Penn Station Kmart with me and then watch Tootsie?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "My aunt Linda is bringing her new boyfriend, who is neither her age nor her race. And her ex-husband will also be there with his date, alcoholism.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I swoop in the next day for presents and pie.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Because my youthful energy makes her feel young? No, because she views you as a peer she can complain with about how no one wears pantyhose any longer.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Ah, how are we supposed to conceal our spider veins? Bare-legged at Christmas.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "As an actor, it is my job to tell the truth, hold the mirror to humanity, and sell proactiv.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Ever since Tracy got nominated for a Golden Globe, he thinks he's Sean Penn. Well, they have both had screaming fights with Wyclef Jean.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Also replicas of the David urinate vodka.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "The party or Paul? The party, Liz.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Happy holidays is what terrorists say.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Oh, it's just Liz. Why do people always say that?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Avery is keeping her pregnancy a secret at work, so she's been carrying around large objects whenever she's in the building.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "That's why I like dating older men. Their parents are usually dead or senile, so there's never an argument about the holidays.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I have been watching The Mentalist a lot lately, because my tv's on CBS, and I lost my remote. I think I've become a body-language expert.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "For instance, I can now tell that Jack wants to kill the person to his right.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "We Donaghys believe that, when there's something at all delicate to talk about, it is best to suppress it until it erupts into a fistfight at a church barbecue.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "The symbol on the Jessup family crest is a knight refusing to talk about his feelings", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I am 'The Mentaliz.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Thanks, K-L-M-N-O-P.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to celebrate the life of Althea Chunk. Damn, that's funky. Obesity is killing the african-american community... With laughter.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "It's 67 minutes of me acting like a hilarious fool.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I had to go on Charlie Rose, Kenneth, Charlie Rose! Oh, that's horrible.", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "From now on, the only movies Tracy Jordan makes are about the holocaust, Georgia O'Keeffe, or both.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I didn't care much for the gazpacho soup. I mean, where's the fun of sending it back because it isn't hot?", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "What are my chums at the death shore retirement community gonna say... When I tell them that my unmarried son has knocked up a protestant?", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "It should have gone to the other boy!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Most people thought I was a hero for killing Lydia's parrot.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a transvestite.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "The coverage preempted a tampon commercial she was in.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I don't think about kissing her or laughing with her or photographing her with just salamanders covering her nipples.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "You can't be on the floor without your roller skates, Rick. I'm not Rick.", "c": ["Restaurant Manager", "Paul"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Welcome to my Christmas Attack Zone.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I could be sitting at the corner table at the Kmart Cafe right now.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "But I once saw Colleen provoke a Buddhist monk into whipping a battery at her.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Oh, Jack, this is going to be the best winter's Eve light festival ever.", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "'Joy, beautiful spark of the gods, daughter of Elysium.' And, Liz, you're already showing.", "c": ["Milton", "Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "It's a girl! She'll be intuitive.", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "By the way, we have a tradition in my family where we let the child name itself. Oh, yeah, that's hippie nonsense. Absolutely not. Well, suit yourself, but my son Spider-Man turned out just fine.", "c": ["Milton", "Avery", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I once french-kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12-year-old.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "It was designed by M.C. Escher. These stairs are weird.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I certainly wasn't going to pretend those trash cans were my parents.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Russell Crowe is having an auction to benefit the victims of his own mood swings.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "In the Darfur region, the dead may be the lucky ones.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Except for Insulin, spironolactone, and bupropion, which I have for you whenever you're ready, sir.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "My gift to you is the feeling of superiority you'll have for the next two seconds.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Because, you know, when you're pregnant, one bottle of wine a day, and that's it.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "He got me a kidney... From Elvis Costello.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Going on father-and-son habitat for humanity builds and road trips in my V.W. van.", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I want to eat shrimp off an old gay dressed as baby new year.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Welcome to my Christmas Attack Zone.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Ladies of the battered women's shelter, please be quiet, a man is talking.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "You're gonna see poverty, drug abuse, and a bunch of babies having a hammer fight in a dumpster.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Actually, he's behind you, Tracy. He rode over here with us. You talked to him the whole ride.", "c": ["Dot Com"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I give you The Chunks 2: A very chunky Christmas.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I had a couple of rich men die on top of me.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Listen to me, damn it. I'm a doctor. Of history.", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "In what emergency would you be necessary... If someone wanted to know whether the '60s were awesome or not? They were.", "c": ["Jack", "Milton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Seems like people are back on my side, Jackie.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "You dress as Natalie Portman from the movie Black Swan, and I dress as former Pittsburgh Steelers Wide Receiver and Pennsylvania Gubernatorial Nominee Lynn Swann. We're two black swans.", "c": ["Paul", "Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I have a crush on the mentalist.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go get a bus to white haven now, and I should be home just in time for aunt Linda to try to prove that she's sober by holding someone's baby while cooking.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Just my mom and dad yelling at me together.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "You insult your own intelligence.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "You are a war criminal. I hate to say it.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "And somebody needs to clean this table up. It's disgusting.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Attack Zone"}, {"t": "Not if it's a song.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "We rented a villa on St. Esclavage", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "an exiled French Admiral/defrocked minister", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "deep-sea explorer and raconteur Bob Ballard, took ill after eating some bad toucan", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Oh, good God!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Liz Lemon, I want it to be noted that I am here on time.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "I'm hosting the International Pornography Awards, and I have to go get an insurance physical so I can fly into the arena in a penis-shaped parachute.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "And we have to schedule our rehearsals around the bat mitzvahs Jack has booked in the studio.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "When Madison was born, I said, 'Rivka, my schveltz is filled with schpoinkis!'", "c": ["Extra/Bar Mitzvah guest"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Terrible flower girl. At 4 years old, you should know how to pace your petal distribution.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "toiletries, closed-toe shoes, and the State Department-recommended mosquito head net", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Hannah! Petal, step. Petal, step. Come on!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "You! It needs to see Mr. Donaghy! It needs to see him right away! Get us all our stuff back!", "c": ["Monkeys"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Well, one of my New Year's resolutions is to say yes... Yes to love, yes to life, yes to staying in more!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Wife. Mother...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Hitler and Martha Stewart would have hated that wedding!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "It was a men's tennis shirt and a government-sanctioned head net.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Who wears shoes on a beach? Only Rocky and Apollo Creed during the training montage!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "My adventures! I am the protagonist!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "She is not a spy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Whatever you say, dear.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Don't forget, honey, we have bridge with the Cunninghams tonight.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Squeaky Fromme.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "You have no reflexes, your blood tastes like root beer, and some of your bones appear to have vanished.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "but my commander refused to pass it on up to Saddam.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Who will be there raise my kids if I'm not around to pay someone to raise my kids?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "We would have asked you sooner, but we forgot you worked here.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "It's just... I got a haircut, and you didn't even notice. Sorry, you get your hair cut every week. Excuse me? I don't like your tone.", "c": ["Danny", "Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "I'm not the one who forgot our one-minute anniversary!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "There's a hygienist there whose boob sometimes touches my ear!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "He is, dot-dot-dot, my husband!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "On your wedding night, did he take you in the French fashion?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "That's what Ann Curry and Subhas the janitor tried to tell me. That was five years ago.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "They shut down your secret bathroom to save on cleaning costs.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "those vegetable chips that I hate and I keep telling Kenneth not to get", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "This big red part, you can see, is 'The Biggest Loser.' The yellow slice, our number-two priority... Make It 1997 Again Through Science or Magic.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Your show netted $600 last year. Your parents had to buy an ad.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Well, I've been to a rodeo, too. It was a cat rodeo in a gay guy's apartment.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Oh, my nails are wet!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "After her hysterectomy, she was in a coma briefly.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "our children are basically snot silos with BB guns", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Like pigs have around their delicious testicle meat.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "my alarm clock didn't go off because it died in a cockfight last night", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I'm four hours late, but my alarm clock didn't go off because it died in a cockfight last night.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "What? That's double taxation!", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "I mean, look at me! I can't even find Mexico on a map!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "There's only thing I won't do, and that's take orders from anyone, ever.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "I'm not about to cancel my hair appointment with D'Fwan because I'm your new intern.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Do you have a problem with strong black women?", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "You're really more like... Oh, boy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "You should hang it on the wall. Careful! Don't coddle the boy. He can do it.", "c": ["Jenna", "Danny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "But then Subhas and Ann Curry came in, just going to town on...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "It's my way till payday!", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "I am friends with a hilarious fat girl and a crazy-eyed, divorced white lady who wants to be in the music business.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "I agreed to go to a furniture store instead of watching football one time, and I haven't seen a game since.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Then you got to hit 'em where it hurts. Find their weakness, and viciously exploit it. That's what marriage is.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "What I don't get is this is Danny's dressing room.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "It's that dark place under the bleachers that's shaped like a wishbone.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "High School for Teen Drama, the Arts, and Feelings", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "'cloons', video artists, and theatrical jugglers", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "We know what art is! It's paintings of horses!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "It is my imitation of Drew Barrymore's impression of that crazy lady!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "he rightly pointed out that it made me look like a giant condom.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Or when you have eye boogers.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Jack. / I apologize, Lemon.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Try to walk like a woman, Lemon. Your fly's open, Jack.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "Try to walk like a woman, Lemon. / Your fly's open, Jack.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "I'm D'Fwan! And I just want to be accepted for who I am, a sexual maniac!", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Mrs. Donaghy"}, {"t": "it's still fun to look up and pretend all the buildings are giant severed robot penises", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Be quiet, Lemon. It's happening.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "It seems like one of us should sing The Circle Game right now", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I'm like Keats' 'Stout Cortez,' staring at the Pacific with a wild surmise and daring to imagine what... New planets might swim into my ken", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I was holding in a 'snart,' and then right when she took the photo...", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Don't you want to know what a 'snart' is? I can tell you now. It's 10:00. 10:00 in the morning.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "FYI, Tracy's phoning it in today. What else is new? No, mother, literally. Are you also staying at this hotel? Line.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "throwing telephones at hotel employees, speaking to the U.N. about some messed-up crap in Africa, and I'm definitely getting a private island", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Nicholas Cage, Celine Dion, Charles Widmore", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I'm like Stout Cortez! He's my gardener. He's easily amazed.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get a sandwich and then eat it on the toilet", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "when I look into a mirror, there's just a white haze", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I couldn't put the memo in your mailbox, 'cause it's full of unread adoption materials", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Oh, God, Lutz, why? What? I don't want tush lines.", "c": ["Lutz", "Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Sullivan Psychiatric... You'll drool over our crazy prices", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "the real transvestite hoarders of Orange County Penitentiary", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Why does the warden let Lady Extravaganza have so many spoons?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I stole a cab from a pregnant lady on crutches, and I am just waiting...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "What about a tornado that hits a handgun factory, and it's just spinning around shooting handguns?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "What happens when the second flood comes, and you aren't allowed on reverend Gary's ark? Especially since reverend Gary made it clear the ark is just for teenage boys.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "There was a cyclone in Brooklyn last year. It destroyed two vintage-t-shirt stores and a banjo.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "right before the ark leaves, I'm supposed to castrate reverend Gary", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I'm just continuing my consistent professional behavior. Let's laugh together, friend.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "perfection is my middle name... 'Unclaimed Perfection Baby Boy'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I'm good at archery and kind of want to die", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Toofer can get us through black, gay, and nerd-controlled neighborhoods", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Cerie will be some sort of queen in the new society", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I will do sex with cannibals as needed", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I can talk to animals. Well, not talk to 'em... I can take commands from 'em", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "It's like a reality show where you guys get to compete for a seat in my car by proving how much you like me", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "No, I wasn't gonna buy two blimps and crash them into each other to see what sound they made", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I'm as happy as a clam that wants to kill some woman", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "But I'm so identified with New York, you bloody tosser!", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "But we're not laughing now, because our laughter excites the birds sexually", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "This wonderful flood that put out that devastating wildfire", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "\u266a Shut your mouth \u266a \u266a I am finished taking orders from you \u266a \u266a and I think that you're a four-eyed douche \u266a", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "\u266a and also let me say that Liz is a ho \u266a \u266a a dirty ho \u266a", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "\u266a I'm not good at making up songs \u266a \u266a unlike me, who is good \u266a \u266a as you can tell from this rhyme \u266a", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "\u266a help the people \u266a \u266a the thing that happened \u266a \u266a happened to \u266a", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Fantastic, Jenna. You really brought the songwriting computer's words to life", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "One of us is an actor, and actors are not people", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Someone get a P.A. to feed me baby food, or I will drop a 'd' in the green room!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Mmm! I don't really have a car", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "That was me singing the Beatles' Here Comes the Sun for free.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Yeah, Tupac is alive. I bet you'd like to have that on your show", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Five years ago, I rescued your career. And how do you repay me? By making my life harder at every turn", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "And your online romance prank was not funny! I fell in love with you!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I rode in here on a white horse that you made me leave in the lobby", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "This honky grandma be trippin' over surfmaster's mid-range jet skis!", "c": ["Alternate Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "But then I would run you over with a jet ski! Damn it!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "May Durga's trident pierce them from the skies!", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "maybe a pelican near some diapers", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Heavy structural damage, no fatalities... Sad, but not too sad.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "maybe a pelican near some diapers", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning is a go", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "You 'snarted' in my dressing room?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning is a go.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "If I hugged you, I would angle it so that you got no boob. And I would anticipate your angling, and I would get there. I would get there.", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "the Fijian island owned by controversial actor Mel Gibson", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "No word yet on the fate of Gibson's collection of anti-semitic and misogynistic literature", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "G'day. First off, the holocaust never happened. Aah!", "c": ["Oskar Gibson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "specifically Mel Gibson and his houseguest, Jon Gosselin", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "Will go towards rebuilding... His sex jacuzzi", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "There's a dealer sticker in the window, you got no plates, and you made these flames out of magic marker and tape!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "It's all like it was before!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "It's all like it was before!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I knew I'd get that boob squish", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "when the story doesn't have an ending you don't just create one out of thin air by playing music or having people give each other meaningful looks", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "You know, some people actually craft stories. And when the story doesn't have an ending you don't just create one out of thin air by playing music or having people give each other meaningful looks.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "\u266a I'm gonna give all my secrets away \u266a", "c": ["Background Singer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"}, {"t": "I said everyone, Sketch-Tron 6000.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Tracy, do not mention where you think dinosaurs come from. Do not mention the underwater city of Sauronicon...", "c": ["Jack", "Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "If you don't volumize my hair, I will choke you to death with your boyfriend's wig!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Frank, how is your armpit thing? Not great. It's almost touching my thigh thing.", "c": ["Jack", "Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Remember, everyone, just don't be yourselves.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Oh, do you need sex advice? Here's a tip. Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "That's nice. Actors deserve gifts. Without us, who would present awards to actors?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "The box would make a perfect coffin for my Teddy Bear.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "You taking my nephew's virginity.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I want you to selfishly take the best sweatshirt in the world.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "a tiny desk with a miniature pen set on it", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I assumed Avery would have a terrifying best friend she'd do stuff like that with.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Avery does have a sister, but Eugenia is currently institutionalized for nerves... Lesbian...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Michael Kors is a friend. We own a gay racehorse together. And I convinced him to make wizard cloaks fashionable for ladies this winter.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "It's my fault for asking.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Which is the premise of my one-act play The Seahorses of Warwickshire Abbey.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Oh, I know her. Hey, what ethnicity is she? No one knows.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Mexican president Felipe Calderon is traveling this week to China to meet with premier Wen Jiabao, and then stopping for a well-deserved vacation in Negril, Jamaica, mon.", "c": ["Carmen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Carol's away a lot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "And that's not racist because I don't know what she is.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "You can tell a lot about someone by their handshake. You are confident. And you ate dinner in front of a mirror last night.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I'm a hugger. No. Doesn't count as a hug unless it goes on for ten seconds.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Or 'hey, idiot,' like my wife does. I'm kidding. She's an angel.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "This is no longer the executive dining room. It's the Everyone dining room.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "This is where we used to hold retirement parties. The balcony below is probably still littered with stripper bones.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Do you know who came up with the idea for the DVR? It was the guy who drives me home every night. The original name for the DVR was 'The Thing Carlos Thought Of.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "What is this green stuff? Wipe it off. Wipe it off!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I like pradort bag.", "c": ["Carmen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I love their creepy little hands and the way they crawl fast, like a rat monster.", "c": ["Carmen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Some dude jacked me, and now his sperm is growing in my stomach.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "That's now how babies are made.", "c": ["Carmen"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "So by the law of verbal traps, you have to do it.", "c": ["Carmen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "even though all their advertising suggests it is a place for groups of friends to have a good time.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Good sweatshirt to you. How are you sweatshirting this sweatshirt?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Was I supposed to throw up in something of mine?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "You'll never get her! Stop! Sweatshirty is a boy!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Is she doing an expose on how feminism has led to a happiness crisis among educated women?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Lemon told me this morning she got jacked big time.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Like a bloodhound. Perhaps literally. We still don't know her genetic background.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "because I have had my period for the last 61 days.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Don Geiss gave me this watch for firing a man on his deathbed!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "How come when I try to get you to go to a murder-mystery party with me, it's all, 'we're business colleagues, Lemon'?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I don't know why I ever chose you as a friend. Let's just be clear about this... I chose you.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "May I kiss your stomach? Absolutely not. Hello, beautiful. It's Uncle Wutzy.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "And my sidekick is a hot black chick who can read minds.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "We need a button that switches from pornography to basketball immediately. What you have isn't fast enough. My kids are starting to ask questions that I can't answer.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Like nudity, or soccer.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Congratulations. Worst so far!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I will need to eat your umbilical cord.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "It'll turn the child into a Dracula.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Remember, you're eating for two. Well, I guess two egg sandwiches... Times two is four.", "c": ["Unknown writer", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I had naan.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I am a six sigma black belt ultra, with the groin branding to prove it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "What's six sigma? Rock band?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Television on. Channel, NBC. [nothing happens] That shouldn't happen. TV on! Voice activation, or 'vo-act...' [still nothing] Un-mute! Low volume. Low volume! TV mute!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "You could call it 'Blabar.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Not what my uncle does when he gets a hitchhiker over a barrel, I'll tell you that.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "You didn't steal anything from me, sir. Last time I checked, best friends can't steal from each other.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "This isn't how it works! You're the one being a silly Simon!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "April 20th, Hitler's birthday.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Dr. Rufus T. Barleysheath.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "In my vagina.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Rufus T. Barleysheath.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "No...way that I'm not.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "She's a blonde. Don't you know there's a war going on?", "c": ["Carmen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "First of all, Jack means nothing to me. Shoot him in the throat and let the dogs eat him. I don't care.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "where you bare your stomach like the pregnant bitch that you are.", "c": ["Carmen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I can get you into a restaurant where you watch a child play with a bunny, then you eat the bunny.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Isn't that just Easter?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.54, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Blackmail me. Demand to sleep with Avery. Hit me. Hit me in the face!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Does he also solve mazes by starting from the end?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Oh, damn my krav maga training and lightning reflexes!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Release me, you hillbilly Circe!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Rufus T. Barleysheath is kicking.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I don't fly, but I got my own bus with a pool table in it.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "We'll drive to Branson together sometime, take in a Yakov Smirnoff show. Doesn't Russia sound like a crazy place?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Oh, I didn't notice you there, son. You do not have a lot of charisma.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "You have a reputation, Jack, as a shark. Kabletown, we're not sharks. We're more like... Whatever the friendliest fish is.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I'm not a science guy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "It doesn't count as a hug unless it goes on for ten seconds. You got that right, son. One...Mississippi...", "c": ["Kenneth", "Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I will miss my dear friends here on basic cable.", "c": ["Carmen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Oh, Jack, that's so gayballs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Do you need some liniment rubbed on your perineum?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Help him for real. It takes the same amount of time.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "And she ordered us around like we were a couple of normals.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "Good God! I have been punished. These are yours to keep.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "What if we executed someone live on TV?", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "And then I pull off my mask and I'm a lizard person too. Blackout. End of episode.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "\u00a1Qu\u00e9 Sorpresa!"}, {"t": "I blew mine up, and now it smells like my mouth.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I never sleep on planes. I don't want to get incepted.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "You're going to Nags Head? Isn't that redundant?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "You will hand me an envelope predicting my joke about Nags Head.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "We're going to Toronto for the G8 Economic Summit. It's going to be... very erotic.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I packed underwear that isn't gray!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Like you, Avery is a Type-A nutjob.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Dating yourself is a double-edged sword.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Well, that would only be a problem if I had any flaws. Not only is your fly open, there's a pencil is sticking out of it.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Good day to you, sir.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "You are more talented than I.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "You're ready, Mirror Jenna.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Clear. I'll need a whale saddle.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Kate Capshaw's husband?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "the guitar-playing chimpanzee that I bought this morning. Dotcom is confirming that he drowned.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Why are you putting me in a suit? I still haven't memorized my Torah passage!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Success is a double-edged sword.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I realize you're more important than everyone else on the flight, what with those Jets sweatpants...", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Excuse me, young lady. Are you old enough to be traveling alone? I don't know. I'm going to visit my Nana, but I'm scared. Wait, that's too young. Roger that.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "This is a $90-million aircraft, not a Tallahassee strip club.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "And that is Sky Law.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I'm a businessman. I'm not an air marshal.", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "There's a man on the wing! We haven't taken off yet. It's just a mechanic.", "c": ["Passenger", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Oh, God, you're breaking the extra bone all Canadians have in their hands!", "c": ["Hotel Worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Why did I buy a beryllium mine if her birthstone isn't going to be aquamarine?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Good God. She'll be Canadian!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Your milk comes in bags. Bags! Your pavilion at EPCOT doesn't have a ride!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "And if Canada is so nice and friendly, why does most of our meth come from your Asian drug gangs?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Are we not even making our own meth? What is happening to American manufacturing?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "If only we were in Kenya right now, we'd be fine.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I'm not scared of you people! And I don't think those cashews look like a bowl of baby penises!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "And NBC sitcoms that didn't make the schedule.", "c": ["Flight Attendant"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "to control the herds of walking mozzarella sticks who think that $300 and a photo ID gives them the right to fly through the air like one of the Guardian Owls of legend!", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Well, good luck pressing 'Take Off', then 'Autopilot', then 'Land'.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "When I asked the lady at the desk, she told me in kilometers!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "We ruined those kids' field day.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "To what, Jack? Be a mouthpiece for Federalism and then die in a duel against someone named Aaron? Is that what you want our daughter to be? A big government duel loser?", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Dear God, they've re-started the failed NBC shows. Oh, no. Please, no. Not 'Gals on the Town' again!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Love and friendship, having it all / Or maybe just a great pair of shoes / One of them has to be Asian / Can they be good at their jobs?", "c": ["Show Theme"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "We were like them once, and we can be again! But we're just airplane folk now!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "He compromises readily on movie choices and... sexual positions.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I'm assuming you don't want to stop for gas in the middle of the ocean.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Stewart did not study dance at Carnegie Mellon to become a flight attendant to clean bathrooms.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Those potato chip bags are designed to be opened in flight. You open them at sea level, somebody could be killed.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "If I can't poop on the street, why should my tax dollars pay for someone else to?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "including any lipless middle-aged women in lesbian clown shirts, should please be seated at this time.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Sorry, but Tracy Jordan doesn't do safety schools!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Sorry, but Tracy Jordan doesn't do safety schools!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "You ever hear of the 'Peter Principle'? Yes. Just now.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "But my incompetence knows no bounds.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "On D-Day, my grandfather wore a German uniform under his American one, just in case.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Or perform his husband bedroom duties... for instance, painting the bedroom?", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "because Al Sharpton doesn't have an office.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "And I know, because I've looked it up for you a dozen times!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Great. I'm Lorne. If you're a cop, you have to tell me.", "c": ["Lorne"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I'm still in Girl Scouts. I have 9,000 badges.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm still looking for a golf ball I shanked in 1987. I am not taking that penalty stroke!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Austin Powers on 'Crossfire', timely stuff.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "\"Uh, folks, half an hour means forever.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "The card was wrong!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I did not! I wanted the books to slide off!", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Admit that I, as Captain of this vessel, was in the right. You were wrong to question me, and I was correct in my treatment of you and your fellow animals.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Because they sound very sitcomy.", "c": ["Lorne"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "and declare war on Germany, like back when we were awesome.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "They made me memorize all 700 words in the Canadian dictionary.", "c": ["Lorne"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I know, I'm a stereotype. 'All guys from Quebec are good at karate.'", "c": ["Lorne"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, where are my manners? Do you want to try meth?", "c": ["Lorne"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Actually, you dial 272 here.", "c": ["Lorne"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "IKEA on a Saturday?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Having seen 'Crimson Tide' on Showtime last weekend, I believe the only course of action available to us is passenger mutiny! I am Denzel!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I am invoking Sky Law. You are now silenced, shrieking harpy.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "I'll be a folk hero, like that guy everybody hates now!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "You'll have to go through this old bastard first!", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "But I'm going to treat her just like a human baby.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "of that double-edged sword just swinging around, trying to cut your faces off.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Oh, no, you don't! We will not be party to this socialist perversion. You will take our money!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "This morning I taught the local schoolchildren all the words to 'Monster Mash'.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Like how an ant is much bigger than a smaller bug?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Double Edged Sword"}, {"t": "Hang on. Why do you have a cat? And a fanny pack? And your ponytail, it's being held up by a chip clip.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I've had three chances... Floyd, then Carol, and I was once in an elevator with Tom Brokaw, and I blew all three... Opportunities!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I have adopted this cat, named her Emily Dickinson... Oh, come on! Named her Emily Dickinson.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Recent breakup, fanny pack, cat? Quick. Who is the lead character on NCIS?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I took the money I was saving for my honeymoon, and I bought a cemetery plot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "You know there's a movie of that, right? I did not.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Since inventing democracy, those guys have been coasting.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "We're calling her Liddy, after Liddy Dole, G. Gordon Liddy, and my martial arts instructor Li Di.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Meeting magazine is already calling it 'the first great meeting of the decade.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "It's okay. Don't worry. You just keep watching Bridalplasty. Alysinna died last week.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "These women run your household, so you have to keep them happy, which means not saying anything as your DVR fills up with Trinidadian soap operas.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I can fit Emily Dickinson's whole head in my mouth.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "\u266a Everybody's workin' for the weekend \u266a What? Yep. I was in Loverboy.", "c": ["Pete", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I had to choose between staying in the band or taking that college scholarship to study TV budgeting.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "But let's just say you're at the market, buying potatoes. And that ten-pound bag of potatoes costs... $400.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "So, what you wan' do? / It was nice negotiating with you, and, uh, here is all of your money.", "c": ["Sherry", "Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I am not gonna just sit and watch you plummet into spinsterhood. Why are you talking so fast? Because I'm upset! Also I've been taking these new Czechoslovakian organ-slimming pills.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "They contain a little bit of meth, which is something my body needs anyway.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I like to do it with an NBA player, because it's fun wordplay and they're mean.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I didn't give up when Eric Roberts abandoned me in the desert, and I won't now. No judgment, Liz. Mr. Roberts thought I was dead.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I like my tampons to be cold.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "If I had done that during a mock negotiation in business school, professor Widmer would have spanked me in front of the whole class, bare bottom.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Professor Widmer would have given you a 'good job' spanking.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "But you do, right? Yes. But Sherry can't prove that I love Liddy, so I renegotiate under new conditions, specifically, that I hate my newborn daughter.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I could never pretend to hate my beautiful baby daughter, Emily Dickinson the cat.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I could never pretend to hate my beautiful baby daughter, Emily Dickinson the cat.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "She is one of two people ever to have thrown up on me, and I haven't spoken to Joe Namath since that Mardi Gras.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I don't think Liddy looks like me, so evolutionarily, that makes me want to eat her.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.54, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Please stay. I'll send everyone in your family to college.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I participated in hands across America.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Oh, the color is actually called 'grandfather's shoe.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "That's my drink! I keep a thermos of it by my toilet!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I participated in hands across America.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Seriously, why can't droids go into the cantina? I mean, Ponda Baba can try to shoot Luke... but a protocol droid is somehow a problem.", "c": ["Anders"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Ew, Julia Roberts in a movie about eating? Give me Kirstie Alley, somebody who knows what she's doing.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Some helpless, pathetic, useless thing that would die if left alo... Oh, God, I do have that. I have NBC.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Oh, way to go, Liz! Attagirl! Walk of shame! You bow-legged bitch!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "I once saw an Internet video of a mouse and a bird that are friends.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "A vast conspiracy involving multiple agents and precise, coordinated efforts.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Then why is my ibuprofen bottle still sealed? Ah.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "What, this? I got hit by a bird on a roller coaster.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "You had to sign your crime, didn't you? You're the one who gave me those moDVDs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "She calls it... Funky juice.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "He certainly wasn't a Swiss prostitute that Martha Stewart recommended to me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Oh, God, a hawk got her! Emily Dickinson!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "\u266a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, unh, unh, unh. \u266a", "c": ["Pete", "Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Its Never Too Late For Now"}, {"t": "Wonderful news, non-famouses.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "My publicist just called from rehab.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "It's this really cool feminist web site where women talk about how far we've come and which celebrities have the worst beach bodies.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Ruth Bader Ginsburg!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Take that, Courtney Thorne-Smith.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Computer, 'Jenna'!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "This is Amelia Earhart. I'm almost across the Pacific... Oh, no. My period!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I'll now take questions. Oh, no. My period!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.16, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Let's nuke England!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "But that is an ironic reappropriation.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Absolutely. But it's not your fault. You are genetically predisposed to compete against other women for the attention of strong, powerful men like myself", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "For example, Hercules, the highlander, or, uh...God.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I want to roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "If you try to breed it out of them, you end up with a lesbian with hip dysplasia.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I'm like a human bra,", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Please, Lemon. It's got nothing to do with her hot mouth.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Like Hank Hooper says in his book, 'New blood is the lifeblood of every company's blood.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "He's not a strong writer.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Isn't that the guy who outbid no one for NBC?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I read that on a bottle of women's exercise water.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Kaylie Hooper. I'm 14 years old and I'm waiting in line to meet Justin Bieber 'cause he's...", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Your new rival is a ninth grade girl?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Her parents' generation was lost to 'trust fund kids' disease.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "The father is trying to sail an inflatable castle across the Atlantic.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "To become a doctor's nurse or a lawyer's mistress or even the president of the United States Shopping Association.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Because potential is the difference between what you can't do and what can't you do.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "No, I sent it in, but Aquafem did not choose it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Girl coming!", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I mean, light travels at 186,000 miles per second, so...", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "'Cause chicks dig British guys. Sir Ian McKellen? That dude must be knee-deep in boob.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Star jump! I found the chrysalis!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "But what most people don't know is that NBC is still a network.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "What you talkin' 'bout, Kaylie? School's cool. Just like Justin 'Bee-eye-bear.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "So our new mascot is a slut.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "He discovered the Titanic, the Lusitania, and according to his website, a guilt-free cheesecake recipe.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Okay, now, please follow me to Brian Williams' bathroom, which is also J. Fred Muggs' skull.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "West ham drew nil-nil at wolves?", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Don't you know I'm talkin' 'bout a femolution?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Look at all these dudes! I knew I smelled sausage.", "c": ["Abby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Our nips just touched. Mine are so hard. Mine are different sizes.", "c": ["Abby", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Oh, where's little Abby gonna sit? Guess I'll have to sit on somebody's lap.", "c": ["Abby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Give me strength, oh, Oprah.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "When I first started working here, an eight-year-old Shirley Temple taught me how to roll a cigarette.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "This guy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Practice frottage on a poster of Linda Ronstadt and meet your idol.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Oh, I did forget. It was so long ago.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Word choice, Jack.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Is it cold in here or is it just that I'm not wearing any underwear?", "c": ["Abby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "New York gives us a tax break for employing sex offenders. It's a terrible program.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Summer of '98, I took it to a whole new level.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "There can't be two of us, Liz. She must be destroyed.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I'll start by spreading a destructive rumor about her like the famous one I made up about Jamie Lee Curtis. That she has two butts.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "You're not. 'Bob' is short for 'Bobert.'", "c": ["Ballard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "You know that's a female. The male is much smaller and is basically a parasite that lives on her. Until mating, of course. Then the male dies.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Yes, the scientific term for that is 'marriage.'", "c": ["Ballard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna live forever, no matter how much gold I give Poseidon.", "c": ["Ballard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "What if you gave me a sticker as a joke?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "There she is, men. The elusive northern right whale.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "\u266a Oh blow the wind westerly \u266a \u266a let the wind blow \u266a \u266a oh derry hi derry \u266a \u266a hey derry ho \u266a", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Yes, sailor? What is it?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Does this look like the makeup room of a clown academy?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "My uncle says they're sexy.", "c": ["Abby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "This is my real voice. And the whole sexy baby thing isn't an act. I'm a very sexy baby.", "c": ["Abby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "It's not! It's for her!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I placed out of freshman German.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I mean, I was there when he belvedered.", "c": ["Abby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I hope my legacy is a Sesame Street type TV show that promotes illiteracy in girls.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "And we walruses owe him everything for giving us the gift of language.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Well, that's understandable. I mean, 'Grossman' is a little bagel-y.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Oh. Children's book idea: Baby hooker. Don't tell Liz.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "This is Charles. I'm on for Douglas. No, Charles. I'm on, but I just dialed in.", "c": ["Conference Call"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "This picture exists in only two places. The negative is in my personal safe along with my will and some beanie babies that I thought would be worth more.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "You're just like Vanessa from the 'Vampire Detective Mysteries.'", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I breathe it.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "'Cause I can always tell Pop-Pop you gave me alcohol. And I can always seduce one of your teachers and get her to fail you.", "c": ["Kaylie", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I'd be into that. Me too.", "c": ["Kaylie", "Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "You know what sucked about my last lesbian orgy? Right in the middle of it, one of us had to get up to go use the bathroom and then we all had to go!", "c": ["Abby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Hey, first of all, Steve Carell owns 'that's what she said.' He owns it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I was cut out of that.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "I thought this box would be the perfect size for your head. P.S. I was electrocuted again while watching Seven.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Where Wonder Woman... Gets her period.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "No, the only thing that will cure ice cream headaches is having sex on a motorcycle.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "When a dolphin expresses excitement it sounds like this.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Tgs Hates Women"}, {"t": "Previously, on 'Queen of Jordan...' (reality show parody opening)", "c": ["Various"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "D'Fwan forgot his catchphrase.", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "It has been my dream to be a singer ever since I was a little... drunk the other day and rented out a recording space.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "My single 'My Single is Dropping' is dropping.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Actually, legal says we can't use the word 'best.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Is this the restaurant that I'm opening up with Dennis Rodman and Webster?", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "John Francis Donaghy. Verbal signature.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "'Yes, we can.' Obama '08, remember?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I am a Christian illiterate, so that's not an option.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Am I trying to instigate fights by throwing wine at people just to get on camera and maybe also promote my new lifestyle web site: Jennas-side.com?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Jennas-side... Genocide. / I'm not hearing it, Liz.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I don't know. But I hope they didn't collect $200.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "If the teacher is male and the student is female. What happened to Frank is awesome.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "It was love! We were in love!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Ham.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Don't do impressions of other races.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I'm not just a gay hairdresser. I'm also a homosexual party planner.", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Mr. D'Fwan, Party City does not sell giant see-through clocks or strap-on Pegasus wings, so I got this paper pineapple instead", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Michael. Are you back on meth? / Mm-hmm. No. Why? You got some?", "c": ["Kenneth", "Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "When I was at Princeton, I played baseball and football. And back then, football players went both ways.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Really? So you went both ways? / Yeah. We all did. It was the '70s.", "c": ["D'Fwan", "Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Switch-hitter. Pitcher. Catcher. Whatever the boys needed.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Even though we just met, I can tell you're an alcoholic.", "c": ["Portia"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Drunk actor brainstorm. I'm going to make Pete host an intervention for me.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "That's some white nonsense.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I'm looking for dancers who can dance for 15 seconds 'cause that's how long my song is.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Can my friend cheese come with us on our honeymoon?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Oh, they kept remaking The Hulk and it kept getting worse.", "c": ["Lynn"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "You live with your mother? / Yeah. Otherwise who would wake me up for work?", "c": ["Lynn", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "And it's Rogen.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I used to be in the military. But I was unfairly thrown out because I went berserk around all those dudes and tried to bang everybody.", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "\u266a Oh, the merry men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls... \u266a okay, I hear it now.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "[Chair squeaks] That was the chair. [Silence] It was the chair", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "[Chair squeaks] That was the chair.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Wait. You're seeing another psychic?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I forgot to write the rest of this letter.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Webster, we need to talk. Your check didn't clear.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I'm asleep right now and I think that that's my computer.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "For instance, doing it across the bed instead of up and down.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I'm contractually obligated to pull out some bitch's weave eight more times this season.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "And I can't back out now otherwise they can't use any of this.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Without Tracy or Jenna, we can file a claim against the show's insurance and keep getting paid without working.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Skeletor's not my favorite. You are.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "The world has to be educated about blurry face syndrome", "c": ["Boss"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "The world has to be educated about blurry face syndrome.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "D'Fwan is a queer-fectionist.", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Jack, I also suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "You know why you're so tense? It's 'cause you have a man-sex secret.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's straight. That boy cannot dance.", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "At Princeton, I played Maria in an all-male production of West Side Story.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "In the lobby, she pulled a wrench out of her purse, hit me over the head.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I explained to Charles that I was just pretending to be an alcoholic to get on camera. And we laughed. And he said I can drink as much as I want", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "'My Single is Dropping' is not just about a single dropping. It's about a woman learning to fly. A woman who doesn't need a man or anybody except Josh at Sidney Bernstein Management, Sidney at Josh Bernstein Accounting", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "And my family is thick as thieves.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I found a glove in the elevator. If anyone is missing a glove, I may have found your glove.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "I just want to wake up in the morning and look over at my husband asleep... On our neighbor's roof.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Wait. You know what, this is my glove.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Wait. You know what, this is my glove. If anyone sees another glove, I've lost one of my gloves", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Queen Of Jordan"}, {"t": "Hey, Jack, the vending machine is broken! / I know. I broke it. I needed to speak with you, and I knew that was the fastest way to get you up here.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "You bastard! I trusted you!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "I'm doing God's work here in Africa. Why, just yesterday, I kicked two naked people out of a garden!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Simba, Rafiki! Click, click, click! Yeah, that's right, I just put you in your place in African.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "'TGS with Tracy Jordan' without Tracy Jordan is an oxymoron, like 'liberal government' or 'female scientist.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Or Princeton football.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "We were four and three in Ivy League play last year! Our quarterback, Henry Chang...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "But you're looking out for us, right? Pounding on desks and doing whatever this is called?", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Power wagging", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Is it TNT? Are Rizzoli and Isles friends in real life?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "It's called TWINKS. / That's the name of your network? Isn't 'twink' a term for a young, hairless gay man?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "TWINKS is an acronym designed to project a positive gay image. 'TWINKS... Television With Individuals... Naive, Kinky, Shaved.' Okay.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "When I was with D'Fwan on 'Queen of Jordan,' he spent $4,000 on chihuahua outfits for himself.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "'I'm Afraid My Hands Are Tied'... is the only show anyone's watching on TWINKS.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Sidney, it's Frank. 'TGS' is dead. Start booking me stand-up gigs. How many black women's colleges are there in the country?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "What are you doing? / You just said we're going on a forced hiatus. I know what that means... time for Plan B. / Harriet Tubman School of Nursing? Yes and yes!", "c": ["Liz", "Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Good thing I kept my teaching certificate so I can still sub. Last time I taught, I was like Robin Williams in 'Dead Poets Society,' by which I mean I got fired.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "This is Asian JennaBaby. Excuse me, G.I., do you miss your girlfriend? I'm good at math. So it's not offensive.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "I'm going back to the job I had in Holland... police psychic. A Dutch TV show is based on me.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "At Harvard, we call them 'concentrations'...", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Let me just take out my idea journal. Hmm. This just says 'Bird Internet.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Like how Fredward helps iCarly. / No!", "c": ["Simon", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "If you can get through the audition without pooping, it's yours.", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Baby? Ah, yes, BABY... Black-Asian Bisexual Youths.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "My night nurse swears she calls me 'koskel,' which, in Trinidadian Creole, means 'stranger.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "pardon my French... bonjour.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Now, that's a joke, but I am really, really mad!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Remember when a movie was just a fella with a hat running away from a fella with no hair?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Hank... there is a gay Jack Donaghy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "I sense something, a presence I've not felt since...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "That would be like me hiring that mouse that keeps pooping in my slippers!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "He's a gay shark, like the actor who played Jaws.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "When the administration started to falter because of our conspiracy... I mean, Obama's ineptitude", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "And we were all like, 'Whatever. We'll go to IHOP and not tell him!'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "He's on LinkedIn, Lemon. He might as well be dead!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "What else crawls, Lemon? / Babies, Jack. You have one.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "would you buy a show about a girl television writer trying to have it all in the city and also she's a vampire, I guess?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "I thought we understood that you are never to think that I understand anything!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Well, there have been a lot of 'Amazing Races' on since then, and I had to watch them and go online and comment on them!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "I've been to L.A. Once. Olive just turns into Barham? Justice for Rodney King! How do I get to 10? It's the 10! Rodney King!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "I'm Aaron Sorkin. 'The West Wing,' 'A Few Good Men,' 'The Social Network.' / 'Studio 60.' / Shut up.", "c": ["Aaron Sorkin", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "What is poking anyway? Why won't anybody do it to me? I'm cool!", "c": ["Aaron Sorkin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "We make horse buggies, and the first Model T just rolled into town. We're dinosaurs. / We don't need two metaphors.", "c": ["Aaron Sorkin", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "That's bad writing, not that it matters.", "c": ["Aaron Sorkin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "It is not easy coming up with ideas to save the show, but this morning, I held up this sign in the 'Today Show' window!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "They sent light bulbs to save 'Friday Night Lights,' hot sauce to save 'Roswell,' and douche bags to save 'Entourage.'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Bird Internet!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "These aren't babies. They're organ farms!", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "I married a shiny black dancer named Cashmere. We mixed our sperm together so no one would know whose baby is whose.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "You will be under me, and if there's one slipup, your ass is mine!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "No! You are the spider. I am the sun! I dry up all the rain! / Yes! Freeing me, the spider, to climb up the spout again!", "c": ["Jack", "Devon"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "But that's just a little shrapnel side effect from Vietnam.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "We throw him in a ditch!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "I tried to call, but somebody spilled milky all over Daddy's phony. Didn't you, little Mykonos?", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "He threw up all over my jacket, and I just couldn't leave him, but... of course, I didn't want to miss this fabulous opportunity. I'm always just trying to balance work and family. It's kind of what I'm all about.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "This isn't even baby vomit on my jacket! It's mine! All mine!", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Just like 'Lean on Me,' in that a guy who looks like Morgan Freeman swung a bat at me.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "unless you're married to it. So I had to marry each envelope and then divorce it", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Kenneth, do you know what anthrax looks like?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Thank you, Mentaalist. It is a gift and a curse.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "In the TV show, you bang me in a tulip field under credits.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Mommy, what's that? / It's a toilet or a woman. It's whatever you need it to be.", "c": ["Child", "Parent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "People of the sidewalk, we can't give up on the written word! We need stories. Because I don't have a Plan B!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "I have a degree in Theater Tech with a minor in Movement!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Better to ask who we used to be. Once, I was called Travel Agent. / I was an American Auto Worker. / And I played dynamite saxophone solos in rock-'n'-roll songs.", "c": ["Various"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Come. We live under the subways with the CEO of Friendster.", "c": ["Travel Agent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "same cheap $300 tie as yesterday", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "I was going to take a picture where it looked like I was holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Do you know what it's like to have triplets? It's just everything times three!", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Three perfect little mouths that smile every time I walk through the door. Three tummies that just want their num-nums and zerberts.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Hey, I was bailed out of prison and told to come up here?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "You're like Dora's friend. / Benny the Bull. / Benny the Bull.", "c": ["Devon", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "And I won't have to be the world's worst hooker! You want to party? It's $500 for kissing, $10,000 for snuggling, end of list.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "It's the snowiest winter we had in years in New York... in Africa.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "Bird internet.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Plan B"}, {"t": "By giving them fresh apple slices.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Do you know how much our COBRA payments are? And he's the only one that knows the combination to the candy safe. The worst part is being able to see the candy!", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "That's ironic, because next week's topic is fascism.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Edward James Almost... who is an Edward James Olmos look-alike that Tracy is friends with...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I'm going to go ahead and assume that Bastille is a stripper. As well you should.", "c": ["Liz", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Has it really been a year since we were all at the Waldorf eating that cake made out of lizard meal? that we saw Tracy eating from.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Listen to me, I sound like Cagney and Lacey, but without the slutty clothes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "We produce more failed pilots than the French Air Force.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "$15 million, so far, developing a show called 'Who Nose?' About an investigative reporter who can't smell and has to get the story using only his eyes, ears and other senses.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "You underestimated me, Congressman, because I can't smell. But you made one mistake: You let me see the documents.", "c": ["Actor in 'Who Nose?' pilot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Your father may be gone, but before he died he programmed me to take his place... No! Shut it down! This is terrible.", "c": ["Actor in 'Dad 2.0' pilot", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "That's what your wife told me in the shower this morning.", "c": ["Reggie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 3.94, "im": 3.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "All right, well, we're all having fun, and it's important that we all be able to laugh together. We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you, you bald bitch!", "c": ["Pete", "Writers"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Yes, Reggie, I am bald. I lost my hair at a very early age when I hit that gypsy's kid with my car, but I am still your boss...", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Listen up, fives, a ten is speaking.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Let's just go to soccer practice now! I mean right now! Yes! It's 4:00 in the morning! Let's do it! We own this town!", "c": ["Child actors in JennaBabies commercial"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "It's called 'Take My Hand.' It's kind of an artsy character study about a young woman who has a lot of holes drilled into her head by a deranged veterinarian named Slaughterface.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Exactly. In fact, the producers of this movie rented 'Saw' and watched it.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "On an unrelated matter, does anyone know where I can get intimate bleaching done in Stamford, Connecticut?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "That's what your wife told me in the shower this morning.", "c": ["Reggie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 3.69, "im": 3.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Can we order lunch from IKEA?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Okay, we'll have a contest of strength to decide who gets to pick lunch.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Well, then I hate you! 'Cause I'm a Pizza Academy of New York man!", "c": ["Pizza shop owner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "That's right. You correctly answered my trick question. Now I am bound by Pizza Academy tradition to grant you any request.", "c": ["Pizza shop owner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "According to the transitive property, you just defeated Muammar Qaddafi in arm wrestling.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Help, Paula, here comes the big girl! She's got a clarinet!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Takeout from Hooters! What? That makes no sense! We'll know they touched it!", "c": ["Pete", "Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Yeah, no, it's just that we're spending taxpayer money saying there's a veterinarian running around Connecticut trying to make a house out of breasts for the Governor to live in.", "c": ["Connecticut film official"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "But there's a positive message at the end of it. 'If you're a woman in Connecticut, Slaughterface will kill you.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Large cheese pizza with one slice taken out so I can pretend I'm eating Pac-Man, like my hero Blinky the ghost.", "c": ["Pizza delivery person"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Well, well, well. You found me... after I ordered Thai food and gave you this address.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "A copy of 'Black Yachts' magazine and a Rubik's Cube that's been smashed out of anger.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I'll get in my bra, and you can throw nails at me! I'll dance for you.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "For the love of God, come back or we'll die!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Jack, can we talk, one ten to another? I'm an eleven, but continue.", "c": ["Jenna", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I met that soccer ball once at a no-hands-allowed sex party.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "$20,000 in first-class flights for the drill,", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Okay, we just need to hire some of those ugly people who have the paper and change the shapes on it.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Writers? No. We'll do the work ourselves. Meet me in my dressing room. I'll get a computer from one of the ugly people. And I'll bring the world's greatest encyclopedia, my mind.", "c": ["Jack", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Hey, is that a to-do list? 'Cause if your wife's on there, I already taken care of her.", "c": ["Reggie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 4.64, "im": 4.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I just have to work around a PTA meeting at 5:00 that I can't miss 'cause this week I'm snack dad.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Lemon, you look terrible, and I once watched you eat oysters while you had a cold.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I ended up eating a swordfish dinner at a strip club and Kenneth grabbed a cop's gun and shot a blimp.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Yes. There was some confusion, and I ended up punching the real Le Var Burton.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I hope he's not still in heat. He has gotten my top off before.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Could you use that to motivate Slaughterface sewing the sheriff's mouth to his own anus?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Of course. Elegant. Should 'Vaginatorium' be capitalized?", "c": ["Jenna", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Yeah I am. Last night I had sex with Paula, and neither of us was wearing a Walkman.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "And we're getting appetizers, 'cause David can afford them.", "c": ["Stephanie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Well, of course he can, Mr. Big Shot Pet Photographer! I hope you get sleep at night.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I never thought I'd feel sorry for a guy with a tattoo of a leprechaun vomiting on a book.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I still haven't tried the famous seafood pizza at Sally's in New Haven!", "c": ["Actress in horror movie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Let's move on to the scene where Slaughterface centipedes Jenna to the docent of the Danbury Railway Museum.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I can never find stuff to watch with my kids. Thank you, Wal-Mart!", "c": ["Wal-Mart executive"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "You know what your wife told me in the shower this morning? You're a good guy.", "c": ["Reggie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "'Ello! I'm a baby!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Merry Christmas! I practice abstinence! Connecticut!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I did okay. I have a refrigerator that's just for soda, so...", "c": ["Phil Rosenthal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "But thank you for tying your headshot around a brick and throwing it through my window.", "c": ["Phil Rosenthal"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Ha! I beat you! We're getting lunch from IKEA! IKEA! IKEA! IKEA!", "c": ["Pete", "Writers"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "You have been hiding in my apartment for the last 2 weeks? What are you mad about? I'm waiving the $60,000 you owe me in appearance fees.", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Did you really think I wouldn't recognize my college futon with its trademark absence of sex stains?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "So where's the last place you would be if you're out trying to save your show? Home. Life lesson from an unlikely source!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "'TGS' is your whole life. So where's the last place you would be if you you're out trying to save your show? Home. Life lesson from an unlikely source!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "And yet you still don't have the one I'm thinking of! It's red, it says 'ketchup' on it...", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "As a time saver, I will refer to the two of you as 'Klemon.' I wanted that next level, Klemon. Now, remember, to save time, you two are 'Klemon.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Like the time I got stuck in Temple Grandin's hugging machine at the Golden Globes party.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Sean Penn wanted me to go to Haiti with him, and I'm not strong enough for the pain and the human misery of a 3-hour plane ride with Sean Penn.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Hulk Hogan called you a dirtbag. The NAACP once hired someone to kill you. You wore a penis hat to Princess Diana's funeral!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Because I had worn it to their wedding. It was special to the three of us!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Go trash a hotel room. Expose yourself to Elmo. Visit O.J. In jail again. Attack the Lincoln Memorial with a hammer.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I'm the hero cop and I'm here to say don't do drugs is what I'm here to say! I can't believe that amazing rap is available now on iTunes!", "c": ["Movie character", "Director"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "Vote? For what? Isn't this supposed to be a movie? Again, it doesn't matter. People will just do it, and we get 99 cents a text.", "c": ["Jenna", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "To vote for Phil Rosenthal, text Phil to 62288. To vote for Liz Lemon, text Liz to 62288.", "c": ["Announcer/Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "I Heart Connecticut"}, {"t": "I was in the middle of bidding on a bag of bras on eBay.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "It's not, hon. I saw that in a movie once, but in the movie, the guy was dead.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I was sitting in that chair a minute ago. Nope. That was me. What can I say? I smell like leather.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Well, I'll be Bake McBrided.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Without Tracy, your show is like my cholesterol. The numbers are killing me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Got on Wikipedia this week.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "A show that is number one in its time slot among men 18 to 49 months left in prison?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I thought this company was a family, but I guess it's that Austrian family and I am the girl in the basement, and you are the dad who has been brutally--", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Just like the army doctor said to me after my weekend in Okinawa.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Jack Welch once smacked a pretzel out of my hand at the Super Bowl.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Lemon-style. [Everyone Dance Now music plays]", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "You gonna get me another sandwich or I'm gonna cut your face up so bad you'll have a chin. I will waste you!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "And I don't really think it's fair for me to be on a jury because I'm a hologram.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "He told me he feels like a Bartram's Scrub-Hairstreak trying to crawl back into its silky cocoon. Which is a butterfly metaphor, by the way, and not, as I first thought, a list of African-American hair products.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Jesus was black!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Really? Is it from that pie place?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "There is no pie.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "In 100 shows, we've done Pam 107 times.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Um, that wasn't me. There used to be another guy.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I will choke you to death with your boyfriend's wig!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Can you reminisce about something that's happened since I've been here, 'cause I couldn't see any of that.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "If this turkey goes 100 episodes, I'll have your baby.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Wait. I saw that. How? Am I dead?", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I better lay you across my grandmother's lap in the mating shed.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "The only thing I want latched to my funbags are celebrity DJs.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I wish. Albinos get to be watchers in the mating shed.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "'Who wore it best?' I did. I wore it best.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Tonight, TGS will not be the worst thing on television. It'll be John Stossel.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Why am I showing you guys this? It's gonna jinx everything. Plus you're a couple of pervs.", "c": ["Gas Leak Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Isn't that show already half-dead?", "c": ["Gas Leak Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Mystery novels written by janitors?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "See? I got a new hair. It's white and it hurts, but--", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Other possible side effects include hallucinations, revelation of secrets, telling of truths, flashbacks, headaches, nostalgia.", "c": ["Gas Leak Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I don't know if there was a party planned--", "c": ["Gas Leak Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I refuse to have long, gas-induced conversations with any of you people.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "More like 100 little strokes.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Sure, he was an idiot, but he made great chili, and he didn't care if I watched TV during sex.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Just follow these... Troll penises! Oh, God! What have I done?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Why don't you shut your mouth, back that ass up and make me a sandwich?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I didn't go to Africa. I was hiding in a warehouse in Queens, watching vintage pornography.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "What does that even mean? It's new haircuts, but you can make salads with them.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "'Broken keyboard talk show'? I write what I know. Also I broke my keyboard.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "And what is Farm Aid? Is it a drink? Is it a drug? Is it a bandage you put on a barn?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "See, that's the kind of lazy stand-up I'll never do again.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "F-u, l.l. Spells 'full,' because you're full of BS, Liz Lemon.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Be like Michael McDonald and take it to the streets.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I think Bono got in my limo.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "No. And I wasn't even drinking anything.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I'm in my 40s, very difficult, and not that good at playing La Realite.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Who will grow up to be a little gay fancy man.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I'm getting too old for this [sound] that comes from this gas pipe.", "c": ["Gas Leak Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I'm Jack Donaghy, CEO of General Electric. Who are you? I'm Jack Donaghy. You were Jack Donaghy.", "c": ["Jack", "Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I'll tell you what I don't do. Wear a striped tie with a striped shirt. It's called 'Power Clashing' and I do it because I can.", "c": ["Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "We made the cover during meetings history month? I made the cover.", "c": ["Jack", "Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "And here... Isn't even GE anymore. It's Kableclown. 'Town,' Donaghy, and that's not funny.", "c": ["Alternate Jack", "Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Look at my claws! Sharks don't have claws. You don't even know what a shark is anymore!", "c": ["Jack", "Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Baseball caps with stupid sayings from the show written on them. What the hell is a 'Pwomp'?", "c": ["Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "It's when two fat people-- I don't care!", "c": ["Jack", "Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I am a Jedi!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I want to take a picture of him with my old-fashioned camera.", "c": ["Photographer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Don't tell anyone I did this.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I visited my rescue chimp for his birthday last week, and another chimp got mad and bit my nipple off. He played with it, and then he kissed it, and then he ate it.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I've only seen you use that computer to look at pictures of Nate Berkus.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Your wet, yet somehow flaky hand.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I became the American auto industry, failing to recognize that you can't fix a Lemon", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "She threw a birthday party for her TV.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I knew you were supposed to push, but I didn't say anything.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Is this just to talk, or will you be activating my electric underwear?", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I mean, what if we had a child that was prettier than us? We'd have to leave it in a desert.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Right now, it's between 'Frisbeeface' and 'Glock,' gender irrelevant.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I want to hogtie you and hide you in the luggage compartment of a Greyhound bus with just a bowl of dirty water.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Get out of here, Joey. I'm recording my voicemail message.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Good evening, sir. I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. Can I ask you what you're doing here tonight?", "c": ["Chris Hansen"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm here to boff some chick named Mary. Hey... threesome?", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "You were a mistake that I made at a time in my life when I could afford to make mistakes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "We didn't give up when America sent us back. And we didn't give up when Ireland then just set us adrift on a log, all right?", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "And out on the Plaza, a bird landed on my apple. I thought he was gonna eat it, but he just sat there. What's next? A different bird landing on a different apple?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I even called a woman's basketball team 'Nappy-headed hos,' but apparently, I'm allowed to talk like that.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I mean, look at March of the Penguins. Who was in that?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "How much is a lap dance? I'm a little light on cash, but I have a PayPal account.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "There are tears falling on her boobies, Liz Lemon.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I know you've been molested. That's how we all got here, but I don't want to hear about it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "But I wasn't even supposed to say that. The line was, 'Shereen, I hope Dr. Mogutu has good news about my endoscopy,' but I couldn't get it right, so they told me to improv.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "It's not rape if neither party really wants it.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I borrowed your whale semen candle. It didn't work, by the way.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "That's crazy. A man named 'Elia.' That's a giraffe's name.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I guess it would take a pretty big gas leak to make you think that was a good idea.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Gas has no effect on me at all. When I was growing up, my school, Gerry Cooney Elementary, it was right next to a gas works in Queens.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "Our parents voted to spend it on a boat that the families could share, but then that sank.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "'cause you're a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "This is how everyone talked in the '80s. This is how Reagan talked.", "c": ["Past Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "This tuxedo is made out of the Puma that I rode into my 50th birthday party.", "c": ["Past Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "It's after 6:00. What are we, farmers?", "c": ["Past Jack", "Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "All pregnancies are hysterical. They're started by penises.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I cannot promise you that, Ken. I'm a horrible shot.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "It's like Netflix, but you go to a store, and you pick out your video from a limited selection. It'd be like five years ago.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "All I have is this kick-ass laser pointer that I point at nerds' crotches in the park.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "You have grandchildren and a gorgeous Polyblasian wife. That's a new race that emerges in 2030. They're incredible.", "c": ["Future Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "You'll spearhead GE's development of the electric vagina.", "c": ["Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "In three years, they'll be married and living in Jacksonville, Florida, where he operates an unlicensed alligator park.", "c": ["Future Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "We're obviously all thinking it, so I'm just gonna say it. We're gonna have sex with each other, right?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "That wouldn't be very fair. I'm only trained to fight four or more men at a time.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna be held back by some uterus turd.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "You'll still get laughed out of the Vanity Fair Oscar party by Greg Kinnear.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "100 (1)"}, {"t": "I was in the middle of bidding on a bag of bras on eBay", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I saw that in a movie once, but in the movie, the guy was dead", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I was sitting in that chair a minute ago. Nope. That was me. What can I say. I smell like leather.", "c": ["Hank", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Well, I'll be Bake McBrided", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Without Tracy, your show is like my cholesterol. The numbers are killing me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "We got on Wikipedia this week", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "So you did 99 shows against all odds and reason", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "number 1 in its time slot among men 18 to 49 months left in prison", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I thought this company was a family, but I guess it's that Austrian family and I am the girl in the basement and you are the dad who has been brutally...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Just like the Army doctor said to me after my weekend in Okinawa!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Jack Welch once smacked a pretzel out of my hand at the Super Bowl", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Everybody dance now!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "But you're going to get me another sandwich, or I'm going to cut your face up so bad, you'll have a chin. I will waste you! You'll have to go through this old bastard first! And I don't really think it's fair for me to be on a jury because I'm a hologram.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "He feels like a Bartram's Scrub-Hairstreak trying to crawl back into its silky cocoon which is a butterfly metaphor, by the way, and not, as I first thought, a list of African-American hair products", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Really? Is it from that pie place?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "There is no pie", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "In 100 shows, we've done 'Pam' 107 times", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "That wasn't me. There used to be another guy. I don't think so.", "c": ["Danny", "Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I will choke you to death with your boyfriend's wig!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "If this turkey goes 100 episodes, I'll have your baby", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Wait, I saw that. How? Am I dead?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I better lay you across my grandmother's lap in the mating shed", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Albinos get to be watchers in the mating shed", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Who wore it best? I did. I wore it best.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Frank, but that bigger hat back on", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Tonight, 'TGS' will not be the worst thing on television. It'll be John Stossel!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Why am I showing you guys this? It's going to jinx everything. Plus, you're a couple of pervs.", "c": ["Gas Leak Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Isn't that show already half-dead?", "c": ["Gas Leak Guy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "See? I got a new hair. It's white and it hurts, but...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Other possible side-effects include hallucinations, revelation of secrets, telling of truths, flashbacks, headaches, nostalgia", "c": ["Gas Leak Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Can you believe this is happening to me on my last day of work? My last day. I don't know if there was a party planned...", "c": ["Gas Leak Guy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I refuse to have long, gas-induced conversations with any of you people", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "More like 100 little strokes", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "he didn't care if I watched TV during sex", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Just follow these... troll penises!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Why don't you shut your mouth, back that ass up, and make me a sandwich!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I was hiding in a warehouse in Queens watching vintage pornography", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "It's new hair cuts, but you can make salads with them", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Broken eyboard alk show", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Is it a drink? Is it a drug? Is it a bandage you put on a barn?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "See that's the kind of lazy standup I'll never do again!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "'F' you, L.L. Spells 'full'! Because you're full of B.S., Liz Lemon!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "No! And I wasn't even drinking anything", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I'm in my 40s, very difficult, and not that good at playing 'la realitee'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Who will grow up to be a little gay fancy man", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I'm getting to old for this 'shh' sound that comes from this gas pipe", "c": ["Gas Leak Worker"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Who are you? You're so handsome.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "It's called 'power clashing,' and I do it because I can", "c": ["Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Town, Donaghy, and that's not funny. It was funny when I said it on my syndicated radio show.", "c": ["Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Sharks don't have claws. You don't even know what a shark is anymore!", "c": ["Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "She became your focus, at the expense of your own ambition. ... Lemon was a black hole unworthy of our mentorship.", "c": ["Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "What the hell is a Pwomp?", "c": ["Alternate Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "What the hell is a Pwomp? ... It's when two fat people... I don't care!", "c": ["Alternate Jack", "Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I visited my rescue chimp for his birthday last week, and another chimp got mad and bit my nipple off. He played with it, and then he kissed it, and then he ate it.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I visited my rescue chimp for his birthday last week, and another chimp got mad and bit my nipple off. He played with it, and then he kissed it, and then he ate it.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "your wet, yet somehow flaky hand", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I became the American auto industry failing to recognize that you can't fix a lemon!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "She threw a birthday party for her TV", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Is this just to talk, or will you be activating my electric underwear?", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Right now it's between 'Frisbee-face,' and 'Glok-Gender-Irrelevant'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Right now it's between 'Frisbee-face,' and 'Glok-Gender-Irrelevant.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I want to hog-tie you and hide you in the luggage compartment of a Greyhound bus with just a bowl of dirty water.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "I want to hog-tie you and hide you in the luggage compartment of a Greyhound bus with just a bowl of dirty water", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Denis, it's Dummy. I miss you, come see me", "c": ["Liz (on recording)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Waaaz aaap! You've reached Denis's voice mail. How you doing? Get out of here, Joey! I'm recording my voice mail message.", "c": ["Denis (recording)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "And us Duffys, we didn't give up when we got kicked out of Ireland. We didn't give up when America sent us back. And we didn't give up when Ireland then just set us adrift on a log, all right?", "c": ["Denis"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "us Duffys, we didn't give up when we got kicked out of Ireland. We didn't give up when America sent us back. And we didn't give up when Ireland then just set us adrift on a log, all right?", "c": ["Denis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "100 (2)"}, {"t": "Hush, island baby / Tomorrow you'll shuck the cane / Your little fingers bloody / Prepare to be whipped", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "No, when she's ready, Dr. Kevorkian says we have to put her down. He's a very good pediatrician, but that is an unfortunate name.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "No. Call back tomorrow. She has Babynomics at 11:00.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "What are you doing? That's his urine. He is not well.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Conrad Bain once slapped me in a men's room.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Comenc\u00e9 a estudiar these, but then yo gave up.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Liz stabbed Jenna repeatedly.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "You saw how flat Gwyneth Paltrow sang at the Oscars. I visualized all of that.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Well, I've taken Action. It dries your mouth out, but the sex is amazing.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I always think of a third thing when I'm listing stuff.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I've got a new life philosophy that I call 'Lizbeanism.' Well, I'm Liz, and obviously, my philosophy is simple, like a bean.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Because Lizbeanism means that I am a dike... against the rising waters of mediocrity.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I'm going to give you... one of my neckties.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Wait, who was the white guy in that?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "having people pay you for the privilege of cutting your hair.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "'Hot Blondes in Weird Places' initiative", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I wish Liz Lemon would leave so I could go back to work. Oh! Ugh! What's pulling me? I want to stay here and keep boring Jack!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Great impression of a guy that sucks, Dotcom!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Smooth move, Ferguson.", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I could have inside jokes that you're not a part of, for example, 'Hot feet' or 'Ask Melissa about it.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "You wouldn't expect a movie called 'Somewhere' to go absolutely nowhere.", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Sometimes we use a song to move a story along / And explain it to you / 'Cause Liz is taking charge", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Who's ready for Skype sex? No, no, no. This is the Liddy call.", "c": ["Avery", "Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I don't know why our daughter would be afraid of Reagan.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "You people have too much money.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "You people have too much money.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Bring back some throwing stars for Liddy", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Do you want to watch me eat jelly beans... real slow? Yes.", "c": ["Avery", "Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "and the delivery guy tripped, and then Mr. Griswald said, 'Smooth move, Ferguson.'", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "That story is not funny. Sir, you had to be there. Then I will be.", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "People of North Korea, it is your dear leader, Kim Jong-il, world's greatest golfer and movie director and best man at Tom Brady's wedding.", "c": ["Kim Jong-il"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "because she can't party as hard as we can.", "c": ["Kim Jong-il"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "because it's awesome and we have enough food.", "c": ["Kim Jong-il"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Sir, if you say one more syllable, that's a haiku.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Don't go in there! Run, citizen!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "President InterBush is out of the question.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "'Me plus you equals frowny face.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Use it to break into a special-effects warehouse to steal one.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Dotcom licks the subway steps.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Do you have access to horse semen?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Dotcom licks the subway steps.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "But, Liz, I already have. Jack's wrong. No human is truly the master of his fate.", "c": ["Bag"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "the wind rustling against my genitals. That's right, bags have genitals.", "c": ["Bag"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "If you say no, I'll drown myself.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Was Dotcom standing that gay?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Death to the CIA! Let us all increase production of millet and sunflowers!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "It was either that or play a rapping doorman in a Kate Hudson movie.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Smooth move, Ferguson.", "c": ["Actor"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I get it now! It's so funny! Everyone, laugh! Now, you sons of bitches!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I get it now! It's so funny! Everyone, laugh! Now, you sons of bitches!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "his acting notes are often vague.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I'm a parrot.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "She pays $1,000 an hour to do that with her trainer.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Well, look what the cat dragged in.", "c": ["Condoleezza Rice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "'Mars Attacks!' is awesome!", "c": ["Condoleezza Rice"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I'm gonna hang you in my kitchen and fill you with other bags! You will eat your family!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "I told them it was my razor. I have to shave my legs with it, but they have an app for that.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Did you also call Sally Ride and her sister?", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "There, are you happy? You dropped a bomb, K! Continue!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "'Smooth move, Ferguson' was just trying to fill a void because Mr. Slattery's political cartoons weren't cutting it. I can't draw hands.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Grizz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "No matter how much the gate is strait or who punishes the scrolls, I am the captain of my holes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Avery is now married to Kim Jong-il's son, Kim Jong-un.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Mortality! Smooth move, Ferguson.", "c": ["Bag", "Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "Put that coffee down. Coffee's for closers only.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Everything Sunny All The Time Always"}, {"t": "All right, now that the popsicle's melted, we've got ourselves a tongue depressor.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I get them from prostitutes.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Sounds like you could use a little R and R, rum and Ritalin.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "There are four things I want to do this summer, but they're roommates, so it's tricky.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "That's my brother Randy! Tomorrow he's going to jail for the rest of his life.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I know that people are feeling sorry for me because my wife was kidnapped by Kim Jong-il", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Hey, I know what you're going through. I once kidnapped a woman.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Last night I sat in front of the TV and ate an entire carton of foie gras.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I can hardly drink my morning-shower Scotch.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "we would go to Strawberry Fields in Central Park and kick hippies' hacky sacks into the bushes", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Normal is a woman and a woman getting married and having a child.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Bush is a war criminal! There's so much texting going on these days and no communicating!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "You can't spell 'America' Without w-o-o-I", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Every year, my aunt sends me a wool sweater for Christmas. We get it, Aunt Alice, you're a sheep.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Paul and I can finally buy that time-share in Betasten Bos, Amsterdam's premier private sex garden.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "There have genetically-altered men there with minotaur heads that chase you through the brambles.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Well, David Eggers and I are designing a new font...", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Last night, for dinner, I put milk in my Apple Jacks.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "No, I shot my bazooka at the ground to kill myself 'cause Toofer had me cornered.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I'm wearing a diaper, like a baby would.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Hi, neighbor. I'm Ina Garten. My husband, Jeffrey, is away, and I've got some bruschetta and a white wine opened.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "committing a hate crime against what the city is now claiming was a Jewish tree", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I was the face of Clinique, a French-Canadian anal-rejuvenation clinic", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "and I was the feet of FilthyLittleFeet.Com", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Paul is a gender-dysmorphic bigenitalian pansexualle", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "love, warmth, chafed skin", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "whose parents were killed in front of her while an episode of 'Three's Company' was...", "c": ["Eugene Gremby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I know your wife was kidnapped by some convenience-store owners", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Mumps, Hill People attacks, cave collapses... both business and residential", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I like to replace the Union-soldier meat with boiled potatoes", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "You two have similar-shaped buttocks", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Deer God, thank you for this venison. Onion God, thank you for these onions. Carrot God, thank you for the carrots.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I just bought everything around this house. It's supposed to be a nice area, except for the 'new element' everyone keeps talking about.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I got a long night of shooting guns in the air ahead of me", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "If I start screaming in my sleep, do not wake me up. I will attack you.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Wake me up! Free me from this!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "It was nice to hear a woman's laugh in the house again", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "There's a lot of drawings of Ms. Maroney eating celery that men are giving to her with their hips", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "My house is full of white cockroaches", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I got you an early anniversary present. It's a new leash for when I walk you through the park like a dog.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I'll cancel the sitter for tonight, tell him he won't need to come sit on us after all", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Oh, you've just made a very dangerous enemy, Kenneth", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Can I borrow a cup of sugar? I'm trying to get a hummingbird to drink out of my penis", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "How many times have I come over and painted your apartment? Three. And by the way, stop doing that.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Don't go, Avery. I mean, Kenneth.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Put on these earrings", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I am in the restaurant business, and I really love... golf playing", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, I don't have one myself, but I do like a girl with a limp", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "My first name is U. Jean, with a U.", "c": ["U. Jean Gremby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Greetings, slaves! Who's ready to get sat on?", "c": ["Sitter"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "That's what I have to do. I can be a normal person. I have to blow myself up.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I put the system on trial. You can't handle the truth!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I lost my gavel over the weekend, but it doesn't mean you can talk to me like that.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I have seen 'The Brady Bunch' where Tiger runs away", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "God, are you punishing me because my hair is better than yours?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "She once made Rahm Emanuel cry in an airport lounge", "c": ["Kenneth-as-Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "He may be a chinless piece of human garbage, but he will never fill the void that I left behind.", "c": ["Kenneth as Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Hey, Mrs. Dongy, you wan' come on down my birfday party?", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Even with your back to me, I can definitely tell it's you", "c": ["Eugene Gremby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "You wanted us to be normal? Well, this is our normal, and this is what we think of your morality clause.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Give Mommy some beard. Oh, you've got some crumbs in here. Oh, eat it.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Good God! Lemon? Liddy, say, 'Good God, Lemon.' Guh gah, Lem.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "I'm outdoors, I'm wearing comfortable clothes, I'm gardening, and I'm learning Spanish.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "where she spat up on a white lady's dreads", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "There you are! Bad dog! You'll go in the crate tonight.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Some idiot rammed his boat that I was driving into it", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "No, I see you. I'm killing myself. Respawn.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Respawn"}, {"t": "Jason, have you ever put out a cigar on Gilbert Gottfried's neck? Because I have, and his screams were the worst thing I'd ever heard. Until tonight.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Also, Jason, if you think you're passing for straight, you're embarrassing yourself.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Did you know that both her mothers are serial killers?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "That's America.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "A little less than my kidnapped wife, but I did get a nice Christmas card from Avery and Kim Jong-Un.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "She's like a little human tumbler of scotch.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "If you want, I can recommend a good gynecologist. You know, 'cause I really like my guy. He's sort of a doogie howser type. But younger.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "You took the train to your parents' house. On Christmas Eve, you forgot that eggnog has alcohol in it, and got into a shoving match with your aunt about who puts the star on top of the tree.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "It was my year! What, lupus lets you just cut the line?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Wrong, Jack. 'Cause they weren't sweaters. They were Dickies!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "The world is ending tomorrow! And you're happy about that? Oh, of course. I get to go to heaven and receive my reward! 72 virgin margaritas, hold the salt.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry I won't be seeing you in heaven, Mr. Spurlock. But on the bright side, black hell does have a jukebox.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "I came across the following quote on the side of a tampon box this Christmas. 'Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. Enjoy these satchel Paige brand tampons.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "When you Google 'Jenna Maroney' now, I come up first. Not the Jenna Maroney who electrocuted all those horses.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "This has nothing to do with Jenna's success that I'm jealous of, but if that yellow-haired bag of teeth keeps me waiting for rehearsal, I will set my dressing room on fire.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "I'm not doing this. But I'm acting out. Right. And I know it'll all blow over eventually, and so I'm just going to skip the exhausting middle part.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "I took a real age test. It said I'm dead.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Unlike cash cow, the failed NBC spin-off of cash cab. You try riding a cow through midtown Manhattan, Lemon. The animal will panic.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "What if I told you your first match burned his groin off in an accident at his cake shop.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Even if you could sing, with that face it would be like eating a steak that just came out of a dumpster. I've done that.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Go jump back up your mother.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Even if you could sing, with that face it would be like eating a steak that just came out of a dumpster. I've done that.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Sir, this chiquita banana sticker had been stuck to that ceiling for years. So I finally scraped it off.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "organize snack table by food jewishness", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "From now on everyone has to address me as 'the gentleman formerly known as rectum.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "I just realized, I haven't paid taxes in 30 years.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "I started a camp for underprivileged kids last summer. We have to drive upstate to see if any of them are still alive.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "I haven't seen such a unanimously negative response since the Frasier spin-off, hey, Roz.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "So whoever you are, show me Jack's penis.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Uh, also, FYI, women's hell is the same as aroused dog heaven.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Only while playing tennis. I'm kidding. I've never played tennis.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "In the words of my father, 'you deserve to be disappointed. Merry Christmas.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "That's what Paul and I do to maintain intimacy when he's having his period.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Because I will not go back to putting hair extensions on dogs.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "You were trying to get me to commit suicide, right?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Just because those kids had the same scared look on their faces that you had when that dog got too close to your stroller in the park.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Did you say 'money'? Is that your first word... money? Yes, money. Are you telling me that money's more important than doing what's right? I want money too!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm the... I'm the one who had to nude-baptize all those teens.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Liz Lemon is a crack whore. Probably not, but continue.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "And not the fun stationery store up on the Upper East Side. The skeezy one with trains.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Are you sure it was Liz Lemon and not present day Sally Field?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Her wrist was starting to bother her from slapping busboys.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "The Manhattan center for penis enlargement? I know because my friend goes there. His name is Tracy.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Her wrist was starting to bother her from slapping busboys.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Oh, God! So much grapevining!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "It's so beautiful. A mermaid! Dude, those are diapers.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "You'll say you're seeing it ironically, and yet you'll tear up when Ashton Kutcher kisses Lea Michele. You know me. I love it when the swarthy girl gets the guy.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "You've waited five weeks to see it, to make sure that you wouldn't contribute to it being the number one movie in America.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "I love it when the swarthy girl gets the guy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "My name is Joyce. I'm 63 years young. My favorite move is the Dougie.", "c": ["Joyce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "I'm Liz. I'm 39, for the third time, and my favorite move is sunset arms.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Dance Like Nobodys Watching"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, is he dead? I... I don't know what happened.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Why would I even say that?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Hey, whatever happened to TiVo? Remember, you used to fast-forward, it'd make that sound? Boop-boop, boop-boop. Yeah. Yeah, then it'd be all like, bung-bung. - Boop-boop, boop-boop. - Bung-bung, bung-bung. - Bung-bung, bung-bung. - Boop-boop, boop-boop. Boop-boop, boop-boop.", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "And he/she has his/her baseball glove and baby. And both sets of genitals!", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "That was hard to track down. Today, almost all of them are in police evidence lockers.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "German flag, please.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Jordan's comments have angered gay-rights groups and are likely annoying his co-workers who thought they'd linger over breakfast this morning, perhaps with a new lover. Wow, that is some detailed reporting, curry.", "c": ["News reporter", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean my tote bag. Yes, I need a new one.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "He's dating the charmin cub. I thought they were babies.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Him. Him. Her when she's drunk. I genuinely don't know. That one's a puzzler.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.43, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "They make the Japanese look like the greeks.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Being gay is stupid. If you want to see a penis, take off your pants. If I got turned into a gay, I'd sit around all day and look at my own junk.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Do you think the people of Raleigh, North Carolina turned Clay Aiken gay? Why not? The Bronx turned me dyslexic.", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "I already called Glad, Liz Lemon. Thank you for calling Glad, stronger trash bags with less plastic. This is Diane. How may I help you? Hey Diane, it's Tracy Jordan. Sorry about what I said. Well, okeydokey.", "c": ["Tracy", "Diane"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Remember when I offended stubborn people? That took forever to sort out.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "His name is 'Chris,' and I'm sorry, but for my own reasons... And 'Chris' is spelled? No 'h' and two 's's.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Criss is trying to... You can stop right there. He's an entrepreneur. He's currently meeting with investors in the hopes of starting an organic gourmet hot dog truck.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Good God! Where does this person live? Don't worry about it. How bad can it be? Jersey city? His parents' apartment? It's not a walk-up, is it? He's actually been living with me for the past month. Ah.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Where does this person live? Don't worry about it. How bad can it be? Jersey city? His parents' apartment? It's not a walk-up, is it?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Good God!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "My jaw stopped popping. Listen.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Jenny McCarthy died? But who could have been slowly poisoning her? Was she poisoned? I have no way of knowing, because I'm just hearing about it.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "He also said that he thinks, quote, 'sexuality is a continuum,' and he is but a voyager on a vast ocean of pleasure.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "I just found out this morning, Teri Polo and Ving Rhames called me at home.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Especially now that I'm officially a 'B-list' celebrity, thanks to America's kids got singing.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "who in return thinks of you as sort of an albino slave-monkey.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Kenneth, do this for me, someone I hope you consider a friend, and who in return thinks of you as sort of an albino slave-monkey. Aw, you think of me?", "c": ["Jenna", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "I guess someone's never been locked in a dog crate and thrown overboard for displeasing the sheikh.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "And now, I am headed home for a 'nooner,' which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "I am nonplussed, and that is the correct usage.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Wait. Why don't they do that?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Is that when you cry on the floor in your office? Nope, I do that when I see myself in the mirror on my birthday.", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Crisis mode is when I down a couple of sleeping pills with scotch, pass out in my secret napping place, and hope I dream about that latina security guard.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Crisis mode is when I down a couple of sleeping pills with scotch, pass out in my secret napping place, and hope I dream about that latina security guard. The one you always kiss on the mouth. That's normal in Guatemala.", "c": ["Pete", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "The one you always kiss on the mouth. That's normal in Guatemala.", "c": ["Liz", "Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Picking a lock is like riding a bike. They're both skills you need to escape the Atlanta Falcons' equipment room.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "They're the same lights poultry farms use to keep the birds from pecking each other to death.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Kenneth. I'm going to tell you what I told Phil Spector. 'It's gonna be okay, baby. We just have to get some trash bags and get back here before anyone's the wiser. Then we can keep recording my album.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "I'm going to tell you what I told Phil Spector. 'It's gonna be okay, baby. We just have to get some trash bags and get back here before anyone's the wiser. Then we can keep recording my album.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Kenneth. I'm going to tell you what I told Phil Spector. 'It's gonna be okay, baby. We just have to get some trash bags and get back here before anyone's the wiser. Then we can keep recording my album.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Is that an Armenian name? Is he a space Armenian? I don't know. The Kardashians are Armenian, they're into black guys, so there's something to it...", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, better hold on to this one. He's getting a free muffin soon. Wow, I've never seen a sunglass hut credit card before.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Wow, I've never seen a sunglass hut credit card before.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Hmm. this guy might suck", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, if you watch those games, that thing definitely has a menstrual cycle. Right?", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Frat guys, DJs, loud-mouthed old bitches, investment bankers, the tramp-stamped, parrot-heads, anti-vaccination crusaders, and people who won't shut up about scuba diving. It's a whole other world down there.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "It's a whole other world down there.", "c": ["Protester"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "That's right. I'm an idiot. Surprised?", "c": ["Denise Richards"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Well, I am. For all 'intensive purposes.'", "c": ["Denise Richards"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Because as Braveheart said, 'you can take our freedom, unless you take our lives.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "I also have a lot of imaginary arguments with the couples on house hunters. Why can't people look past paint color?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Although I don't know for sure, because I refuse to read literature that questions the morality of war.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Although I don't know for sure, because I refuse to read literature that questions the morality of war.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Criss-a, Criss, Criss, Criss-a, Criss-a, Criss-a, Criss-a, Criss-a, Criss train!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "I looked like Adriana Lima.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Black nerds, jet blue passengers who fall asleep with the TV on, pets whose owners have died, and, uh, idiots.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "You wrote 'remember to DVR Kendra' on your hand.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Pete! It's Jenna! The woman you're in love with!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "'Maroney found in closet with unconscious married man and inbred virgin.' Again? No way. I have too much to lose now.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Vaginal mesh. Nice try, prolapse.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "They'd kick me out of the page program faster than a fella can come up with folksy similes.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "Dot com, hold the steering wheel. I've got to leave my outgoing message. What did I just hit? Was that a person? Is that paint or blood? Dot com, this did not happen. We take this to our graves!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "What did I just hit? Was that a person? Is that paint or blood? Dot com, this did not happen. We take this to our graves!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "I called sunglass hut and got my credit limit raised to $80, plus, they told me I only needed 5,000 more shades points to get free lens wipes", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "# Who's that man behind the curtain # His kiss will make you certain # of the one name you'll be blurtin' # during love-making # Kelsey, Kelsey #", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "# his name is Kelsey, he's very wealthy # he doesn't have to be doing this #", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Idiots Are People Two! (1)"}, {"t": "We sent Elton and David a honey-baked ham. What more do they want?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I have seen you since Michael Kors' new year's Eve masquerade. Uh, I don't know what you're talking about.", "c": ["Devin", "TV Host"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Yesterday, that was the face, feet and colon of a pig.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "All right, kids. Who wants some? Get in my van.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Is there a problem, officer?", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "locally sourced pig sweepings", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Well, that's what she said, but...", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Wesleyan is the Harvard of central Connecticut. Yale is the Harvard of central Connecticut.", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Had that locked and loaded, didn't you?", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "You don't say cholesterol correctly. 'Chloresterole.'", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "You don't use the tab closures on cereal boxes. If you think those are doing anything to seal in freshness, you are living in a fantasy world, pal.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "What would Jack say about that? He'd say, 'good God, Lemon.' Locked and loaded.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Good God, Lemon.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I'll have you know the last man who wore jeans in this office was named Theodore Wrangler. And you, Banks, could not even carry his trademark, floor-length, suede cape.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Do you know what comes up on my phone when you call? [Shows photo of Jack in compromising position]", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "The only copy of that photograph is in Stephanie Seymour's safety deposit box.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "We're new, we're called PEEN. And what is that an acronym for? Acronym?", "c": ["Devin", "Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "The highest grossing movie of all time! The boat, not the movie, the boat!", "c": ["Jack", "Devin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Then she had teeth down there!", "c": ["Tracy (on recording)"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "All right, you can watch me shower, but no touching. No touching just makes it hotter.", "c": ["Jack", "Devin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I want you to get my triplets into preschool... At St. Matthew's.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I head that during her interview she turned the class hamster into a dove.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "We should take two cars. You didn't tell me he was alive! Well of course he is. Pete's our friend, Kelsey.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Kelsey Grammer", "Kelsey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Damn it! No names!", "c": ["Kelsey Grammer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "His office is on this floor, isn't it? Yes, but to get him there, you have to go through the backstage and the backstage is full of people.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Kelsey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "How long is the show? I don't know. I've never done it before, baby.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Kelsey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Since its founding early this afternoon, the national association for zero intolerance, or Nazi... We should change that.", "c": ["Tracy", "Assistant"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "It's fine.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "My ringtone is the chicken dance. If I answer it, I won't hear the whole song!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "These microphones look like black ice cream cones.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "You can't tear up my checks, Criss. They're printed on Nixon's old bed sheets.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "She's my subordifriend.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Damn it, Criss, stop talking to him, it's a trap! You said I won.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Semantics!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "The basket of shells was a nice touch.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I go back to sleeping on the floor of my Uncle's mattress store", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Well, I have to go get a bunch of gaybies into preschool before we all get sued", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I'll tell you, friendship is the one kind of ship that never sinks.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Although, during my financial report I may be President of the bored.", "c": ["Douglas"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, you. Hey, funny.", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Magellica the Unicorn. It's wondrous.", "c": ["Jack", "News Anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I played a 'nucular' psychiatrist in a James 'Bong' movie.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "\u266a La piscine \u266a j'adore la piscine \u266a towels sunscreen bathing suits \u266a diving boards and towels \u266a those ladders \u266a towels", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I couldn't find a Lincoln hat so I grabbed this chimney sweep hat instead. If anyone notices... We're dead.", "c": ["Kelsey Grammer", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Idiots aren't just strippers or stay at home moms.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "All the favors that you called in, you would have used next year for little lippy. Liddy. Is that even a name?", "c": ["Devin", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I wonder what Liddy will be doing with her degree from suny. Don't even say it. Oneonta.", "c": ["Devin", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, I guess you're right.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I used an offensive term to describe a group of people who made America the great... continent that it is today.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Water parks... no, I will not endorse water parks. They are a cesspool of disease and people boo you when you walk back down the stairs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, I get it. She's naming awesome things. No, listen to me. Because of you, there may be an entourage movie.", "c": ["Crowd Member", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Hug it off, ma'am! Turtle, turtle, turtle!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "You will make the same self-destructive decisions over and over and you will never really be happy. And your jaw will hurt all the time.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Perfect little weiner dog, you just need a little mustard on you like that. And a little bun, just boop, like that.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "No one will make you deutschepancakes, or welcome you home smelling of hot dog water and onion, or let you break out of jail when you play monopoly.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I'm such an idiot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "It's funny, in school all you learn about Abraham Lincoln is that he was a gay alcoholic.", "c": ["Kelsey Grammer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Hit me in the face!", "c": ["Kelsey Grammer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "In a lot of ways, you and I had similar upbringings. Terrible schools, broken homes... Thinking basketball was the ticket out. Being wrong.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I said creating a movement.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "In this country, anyone could be the next Jack Donaghy or the next Denise Richards.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "This room... Is moving.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I had the best education in the world. Private kindergarten where I got straight check marks.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Experimental boarding school in carmel where the students teach the teachers, and the teachers teach animals.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Then on to Northwestern where I majored in confidence.", "c": ["Devin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "She's already sorting objects by shape and color. At 11 months, I don't think so. She can count to ten if you say seven for her.", "c": ["Jack", "Devin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "She gets five and nine? She can save five words. So. In mandarin.", "c": ["Devin", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "She scored a 62 on the object permanence matrix. But that's an adult score.", "c": ["Jack", "Devin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "And did I mention... She's using the potty. Surely just for wee-wee. No.", "c": ["Jack", "Devin"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, it's burning the backs of my eyes. Oh, it's burning my face now.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Kelsey Grammer! Kelsey Grammer did this to me.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Really, Pete? Kelsey Grammer made you do this while he was performing his one man show about Abraham Lincoln?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "I look incredibly beautiful. The lighting is back to normal. Both switches need to be on, woman.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "The bulb wasn't even broken? None of this was necessary.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "So that's where that name came from.", "c": ["Kelsey Grammer as Lincoln"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Where everybody knows your name.", "c": ["Kelsey Grammer as Lincoln"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Idiots Are People Three! (2)"}, {"t": "Sounds like you have a dream.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "She's bigger than Maulik Pancholy on Whitney.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Besides the greatest power of all? The ability to gestate life.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "No, I like to keep \"boss Liz\" and \"friend Liz\" separate, because \"boss Liz\" is all \"paperwork, paperwork,\" but \"friend Liz\" is all \"my feet hurt, I'm staying in tonight.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "For what it's worth, CIA analysts have confirmed that she is, indeed, \"keeping it tight.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "With texting and email, a multi-million dollar system of pleasure slaves is no longer needed.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "He always scratches that weird part of my back that I can't reach. Unless... Oh! That's the business! Now who's in charge, winter dryness?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "He's still difficult to read, much like that memoir Reagan wrote the week before he died. It's, uh...scattered.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "\"Give to charity please, no presents\"? No, Dotcom! I said, \"give to charity? Please, no. Presents!\"", "c": ["Tracy", "Dotcom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "You already have everything. I mean, you just bought Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's bones, and he's not even dead.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Did you hear about how my fecalist murdered my kabbalist?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "What are those? Leeches. They're good for your skin, and I've lost tons of blood weight.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "You? Famous? That's hilarious.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Plus, it makes P.E.T.A. furious, and if P.E.T.A. doesn't love you or hate you, you're a nobody, like a soldier, or a teacher.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "It was on the corner of Malcolm X Boulevard and guy who shot Malcolm X Boulevard.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Should we get another one? If you eat four, you get a T-shirt. So one more, and that's two T-shirts.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "And not the fun kind where you dance while U.S.C. football recruits throw hot coins at you.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Would you like a chance to be famous, Liz? Naturally. Always.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "The good news is for a different group of people.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Everyone knows that Dalton is the most popular page. Dalton! Dalton! Dalton!", "c": ["Jack", "Pages"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "That virgin was my sister. And her son, Lyle, has a learning disability.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "we became friends because I felt bad for you, standing alone at that party like a loser.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Derek thought I was a guy, and I didn't want to ruin what was happening between us.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "'Cause guess what? The back of your neck does look weird. Why would you say that? You know I can't see it.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "You see? Charlie from Charlie bit my finger and Knob Kardashian just texted me. They're my new besties.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Look out, New York, Liz Lemon is 41, covered in paint, and looking for a new best friend.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Steve Allen, Regis Philbin, Ted Bundy, Richard Ramirez, John Wayne gacy...", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Daniel Day-Lewis as gay benchpress guy.", "c": ["NotkKenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "I hope you dream of your death.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Oh, really? Was it invisible?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "I drove all the way up here from Philadelphia listening to Garrison Keillor and just getting psyched for a fun day.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Phillie phanatic, get away from him.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "He's just like us. He's no better than I am. He's just got a suit.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "He looks scared, like Lutz on an escalator. Twinsies!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "I'd like to bite his finger. Charlie.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Man, do my feet hurt in heels sometimes, and other things that women talk about.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "And then we were like, # What you want? Baby, I got it # Shut up! That's horrible.", "c": ["Women", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "To the Barnes & Noble bathroom. Occupied! God. I know it is. By my new best friend.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "What Jack did is a \"whoopsie-daisy,\" like a baby or a woman would do.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "My fault, a short-lived NBC game show in which homeless people won money by confessing to crimes they didn't commit.", "c": ["NotKenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Dam you.A beaver goes to college in this 1987 anima...", "c": ["NotKenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Uhh! I hate it when they put the movie poster on the cover of the book that the movie is based on.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Uhh! I hate it when they put the movie poster on the cover of the book that the movie is based on.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Also, Ethiopian is out, because I don't want to see a man with a beard eat with his hands.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "I saw a headline about those amoebas that eat your brain, but I didn't read the article.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "You're supposed to be so vacant and self-absorbed that you just let me vent without piling on. I need Jenna.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "They say people who kill themselves never regret it.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "I already have a room full of old black women.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "I need someone who has so little going on in their life, she lets me get all the attention.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "You had me at \"I was wrong, I do need.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "You thumb with a wig, those gifts were supposed to go to the 60th floor.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "Good job, Jack. Blame it on an albino. Classic, 'cause it works.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Ballad Of Kenneth Parcell"}, {"t": "My trio of popcorns", "c": ["delivery person"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 4.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I dropped my cell phone into the penguin exhibit... I had my birthday at the Aquarium", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I represent the turtle that Tuck is based on", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Didn't you notice your food wasn't pre-chewed?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I bet he's going to tell me I can't write off all my shoplifting", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Getting paid to help a boy become a man is kind of my wheelhouse", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "morale-boosting T-shirts indicating everyone 'survived' a certain barbecue", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "when was the last time I said, 'no, senator, you're out of order'?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I would like a hospital bed in my office. A real one. I don't care if it's against the law to resell them", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "And by your 'assistant,' you mean you with a British accent?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "She's a cool college student from... South Africa. Yeah, she'll be British", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "You were in the kitchen all day. Right over... Oh, that's a broom", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I am using my once-in-a-lifetime interruption", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "when a dog goes missing, everyone's upset 'cause there's no dog milk for the babies", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "when 20 cult members jump off a bridge together wearing 'this smells' T-shirts, I should get a cut of that sale", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Yes, many of our viewers are obese", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Don't you represent Gina Gershon? My Nemesis? My Nemesis?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I was being sarcastic. God, I told mom I wanted Transformer's theme for Bar Mitzvah", "c": ["Adam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "maybe the IRS finds out that your nine dependents are just vibrators", "c": ["Marty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "your 'charity' is just a front that has done nothing to make this country safer from Godzilla attacks. If anything, I've increased the likelihood", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "you may recognize me from one of my two background acting gigs", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Just like my hero, Ivan Drago, from Rocky IV", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "when your kid throws a tantrum and holds his breath, you hold your breath too. When you regain consciousness, believe me, he's ready to leave the toy store", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "gross means income before expenses and not gross like apples on a sandwich", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Thank Obama", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 4.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "tatertotfreak@hotmail.Com", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Tell him the funmeister says, 'hi.' He'll know what that means", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Do you vacation together on nonjudgmental cruise lines?", "c": ["Suze Orman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "My church requires a 110% tithe", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Are you talking about saving squirrels from hawks?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Hair movement... Is a sign of weakness", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "90% of negotiations are lost by the person who speaks first", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Because what is speaking a sign of? Weakness? You, out. Fired", "c": ["Jack", "Random person"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Yes, may I please speak to pizza?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Jack Donaghy... Playing with himself. It's a Jack-off", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "That's the phrase I couldn't remember", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "We make other people wait. Forcing people to wait, throwing things, making crazy demands and never being satisfied", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Why is the government allowing this?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "A Jewish star", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "my house isn't a church, although I do let children drink wine there", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Like all actors, I'm not emotionally mature enough to deal with my feelings, you fart-face", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I know you are, but what am I?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "This is the men's room, Jenna. Not the C-list skank's room", "c": ["Adam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Not Napoleon, not Hitler, not even Balki in the unaired ninth season of Perfect strangers", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I've played this Japanese video game where you slap prostitutes to death, but you only ever dance with this penguin named Yamagiku.", "c": ["Adam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "You're rich. And you're fat, so you'll die young. Women love that", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Put money in the girl's mouth. Also, my friend, Darryl, is your real father", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Did you put peanuts on this? Yeah, it's delicious, hat guy. Ah... I'm allergic!", "c": ["Toofer", "Hazel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I wish I was dead!", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "When is that party you throw that we never go to 'cause we don't know what to get the man who has nothing", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Like the polio vaccine. Or a no-bottom strip club near a Wendy's", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I'm not wearing stockings. That's a vein", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "you have to say, 'go for Liz,' when you answer your phone", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I'm just doing the sorcerer's apprentice. You respond with a pirate holiday, and I have no choice but to play the hillbilly auction", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "It'll be back to submitting topical menopause jokes to joy behar by fax", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "You'd have more lawyers on you than a midtown hooker", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Then an elegante, parry with an elegante primo, 5%, I demand three years... No, that can't be right. Elegante, elegante primo, carry the one...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Good God. You won. I did? You got everything you wanted. Kabletown Jack made a mistake, and Lemon Jack pounced on it. I-me lost", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Nobody beats the Liz!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "we're going to be more 'haw-naist'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Because I was raised in foster care", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Boy, you are dumb sometimes", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Men wanted to be me, women wanted to sleep with me, bisexuals wanted to watch", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll just quit and... Go work for a not-for-profit. Somewhere where there's less pressure and the people are nice. And I can wear sneakers and jeans on Friday", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "I want to be somebody else! I want to be a baby again!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "No, no, no. Look, you won. Just don't cry. Daddy doesn't cry", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Have you not read the poetry of jewel?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "So that means that my me-I taught your you-you a negotiation trick. Yes, I suppose you did", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "He's a white male with hair, Lemon. The sky's the limit", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "To white men!", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "Those players have some crazy names. Like Derek and Alex", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "His wife's name is don't. What's the guy's name on first base? Know what died in Vietnam", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Today You Are A Man"}, {"t": "# and the chorus goes here / # yeah this is where the chorus goes # / # I didn't have time to write it / # but the chorus goes here", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "But you're a lady. Right?", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "What I like to celebrate on February 14th? The 1920 founding of the league of women voters in Chicago, Illinois. Interesting fact: They were supposed to meet on the 13th, but they all got lost, so...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Good morning, everybody. I'm hanging out with my friend, John. Fox 5 morning news starts... Look over there. And it starts right now. Oh, boy.", "c": ["Unknown news anchor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Mashed potatoes in a Martini glass, we'll open some of that wine we didn't give the super for Christmas because you decided it would come off as racist.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm glad we gave him those G.E.D. books instead.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I am 0 for 40 on Valentine's Day.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I will waste you! You'll have to go through this old bastard first! Bon Jovi.", "c": ["Movie characters"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Uh, Liz, you know, my mom did just die. Will you be my Valentine?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I just realized I'm gay.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "If this is going to be 'unterrible' for the first time ever", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Well, you know, for thousands of years Japanese diners have used traditional tatami mats... Whoa, okay, no, no, no.", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "We, as a couple, are going to Ikea.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Release some energy. / Are we talking about something gross? / My animus has become pent up.", "c": ["Jack", "Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "'mommy-daddy sheet monster times' / I've never 'mommy-daddy sheet monstered' myself.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Never? Not even during the Love Boat reunion?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "We're not going to chili's until I hit one.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I would kill to get hit in the crotch by a baseball today.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I've never had a mother-in-law, but I have seen Everybody loves Raymond. 'Debra, where's the figurine I gave you? Raymond, I gave Debra a figurine.' 'Ma!'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "The first Jessup moved to this country in 1760 to avoid an embarrassing regifting incident.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "But, my lord, I gave you these dueling pistols last yuletide. / Yes, of course. Now, if you'll excuse me.", "c": ["Historical Jessups"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "What is she, an Egyptian crocodile? 'Cause she is in 'denial.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.73, "im": 4.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I've had two coffees.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "most people think of Valentine's Day as a celebration of the burning of a catholic loudmouth, but it's also about love. And escort prices going way up.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I managed a haunted house upstate. But, as you know, the haunted house industry is a real boys' club.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "living at a 24 hour fitness", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "To test unapproved Japanese medications on. / Swallow. / Good girl. / Now, let me know if all your pubic hair falls out. / Oh, my God! / Oh, no, that's what it's supposed to do. I want to make sure it doesn't cause seizures.", "c": ["Tracy", "Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Sorry to crash this sausage party... / Unnecessary.", "c": ["Jenna", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Sebastian, the producer of America's kidz got singing, OD'd last night in Guy Fieri's apartment.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Actually, Paula didn't want to do anything for Valentine's, so she's just going out to dinner with her tennis instructor, mark.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "No, Paul's been performing on a transvestite cruise for the last month. It's called 'Caribbean queens' for emphasize 'No more love on the run'.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Billy Ocean is furious, and very litigious. But he's powerless as long as they stay in international waters.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Ikea's where I used to go pick up newly-single vulnerable chicks. I've gotten women there two, three points hotter than me. So, you know...fours.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "'Saint lame-entine's nay'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "It's like when Mickey Rourke tested his catapult on me.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "We'll take a pube count, but it doesn't feel worth it.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "And what race were those mannequins, because their skin was gray. They were like faceless sex aliens.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "According to your Christmas letter, Avery is in Asia on business. / You know that she was kidnapped by the north Korean secret police. / Don't be vulgar.", "c": ["Diana", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but who is this 'we' you keep referring to? Your husband has been dead for 15 years.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Wonderful news. You know our pacing horse, squanto? She's foaling in the spring.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "extracting an American from North Korea is a, uh... / Oh. / Is a lot more difficult than organizing a round-Robin paddle tennis tournament.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "What about organizing three round-Robin paddle tennis tournaments? / I heard that one of them was a disaster. / Who told you that? Bebe Butler? Oh, she's trying to destroy me.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Mein herr, meine frau Avery Jessup... Kim Jong-II vuvuzela Charlize Theron... Boomerang my Sheila back to her Joey, mate.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "The U.N. is a useless organization, with a ridiculous army. Robin's egg blue helmets? Great camouflage, if you're invading an easter egg hunt.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "First of all, why do you want flies?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Strewth, what a bull-dingered Valentine's Day. / Oh, and Jack? I speak Australian.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Unless you count that time when the goose chased you into the Central Park boat pond.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I like myself. I have good taste in drapes. / I wish I'd died on Iwo Jima and never met you. / Whoa. What was that? / Not us.", "c": ["Criss", "Unknown shoppers", "Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I just got my period. / I swear to God, I will stab you!", "c": ["Unknown shoppers"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "So tense. Just like my mom's back.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "In 48 years, I haven't had one good Valentine's. / Man, if I weren't with Lynn now we could team up. Valentine's Day is the perfect time to meet vulnerable women. It's scumbag Christmas!", "c": ["Tracy", "Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Look, guys like us have to pick low-hanging fruit. We look like Far side drawings.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Cat shelters, blood banks, the ice cream stand at a Celtic woman concert... And we strike.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Another good place is the beauty salon, where white girls try to do black hair. Sisters come out crying, feeling all bad about themselves, and we walk up on them all, 'Hey, baby, what's wrong?'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Then after we watch Fievel goes west, we're gonna get you some action.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "It's not some rinky-dink late night show that a bald idiot produces.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Jenna Maroney's singing live, and all of America is just waiting for that [bleep] To get [bleep] over and over and over again with a [bleep].", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "if tonight isn't a huge 'jiumph', which is short for 'Jenna triumph'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I attacked Nancy Kerrigan.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "And I also wish you, a 'bear-y' happy Valentine's Day.", "c": ["UN Official"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 4.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Do you see a 14 on my watch? / Yes, it's the date.", "c": ["Jack", "UN Official"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "New Jersey. I'm just a weirdo.", "c": ["UN Official"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "We both married much, much older men, which can be hard, or, more often, flaccid.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "'Maybe we sit quietly and read our, uh, soccer magazine.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Three feet, two feet, it says he's right on top of us. / Oh! / Oh, my God, my face. / Oh! Oh! / He's mating with my mouth.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Hazel"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Go to a strip club on Father's Day, and shout things like, 'I'm proud of you!'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I would go to the swimsuit section and switch the tags. I'd take a size six and put a size twelve sticker on it. And then some thick girl would try to squeeze into it, and come out of the dressing room like, 'I've gotten bigger. Why do I even bother dieting?' And I'm all like, 'Hey, baby, what's wrong?'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I did 'watchers' to stay pageant-fit, but it was too much math for a six-year-old.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Thank God I found cigarettes.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, baby, did someone throw cereal on you? Let's get you out of these wet clothes. / Oh, what is wrong with you people? / Whatever. Jeremy says she's a tease anyway.", "c": ["Frank", "Woman", "Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Look, salt and pepper shakers. You put them together, it makes a heart. Take them apart, two red sperms.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "What's with the 'neggy' vibes, jeez.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "First things first. I am from Transylvania, but I am not a vampire. I'm just a night owl with a terrible garlic allergy.", "c": ["UN Official"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "So, this is regarding that boy who went missing in my castle?", "c": ["UN Official"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Well that is just the beginning, you...penis!", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "This isn't some idiotic civil war in some country without oil. This is my favorite daughter. And she is a beautiful white American.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I can see to it that Transylvania never sees another episode of Friends. / No! Monica and Chandler just slept together in London.", "c": ["Jack", "UN Official"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Every time he says he's not hungry when we collect money for pizza, and then he eats, like, three slices.", "c": ["UN Official"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "at Monica and Chandler's wedding, Rachel's the one who is pregnant.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "I don't know if I'm feeling it, you know? / What about this idea? I know a guy who cuts glass... / No. I took measurements, I looked at colors, we came here. This is the plan.", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "We are not letting this table be a metaphor for our relationship. That's what Ikea wants us to do. / I'm just not sure my chair wants to be with this table. / Why, because deep down your chair would rather be with other chairs?", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Well, it's just the table thinks the chair takes too many camping trips with Richard.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "'No, you were wonderful. The way your eyes went dead, just like Avery's.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "In 1978, I was in Playboy, just wearing a necktie and holding hands with a black girl.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Those incredible cheekbones, like an evil Disney queen.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "You are not some liver-spotted old man constantly spilling hot tea in his lap until his whole crotch was useless. Useless!", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Your hair, like a lion's mane. My eyes, like two pools of ice water. / The bats are long and hard. / The gloves are girls. / Balls! / Jeter's thighs in those pants.", "c": ["Diana", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "You know, it's funny. If those teeth were in your vagina, you'd be considered a monster.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, there's no field of medicine that deals with the brain.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "'Unfortunately, there's no field of medicine that deals with the brain. But, I can give you a pamphlet for a cult.'", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Pressure is trying to pass for four when you just turned seven, at the 'Miss Toddler Panama city' pageant. You're crammed into the same five-inch heels you wore the year before, blood pooling in your toes.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Pressure is performing on a party boat that catches on fire, your throat burning from the smoke. You still sing so beautifully that it calms the passengers, so that you and the crew can escape.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Is singing the Yemeni national anthem while a handsome but ruthless general pushes a scimitar into your neck, Kristin Chenoweth's corpse at your feet.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.59, "im": 9.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "This is why you don't just choose one option. / No, this is why you don't waste 45 minutes wandering around the 'Valentine's marketplace.'", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Valentine's is the worst! It's even worse than earth day. You just see so many dirty feet in sandals.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Well what race am I supposed to check? We all come from Africa.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "That's why I get out of the nidurgangur in the morning.", "c": ["Ikea employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Last night, I dreamed a baby ate my hair.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "These days, it's just a boom box and a guy in a crab costume. He gets shot out of a Cannon at Ravens Games.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "My taxes are paying for your healthcare! Do a sit-up!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Yesterday, I ate all the cheese out of the mouse traps.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "You're gonna tell me about black lady hair, you 'Louie Anderson' little bitch?", "c": ["Postal worker"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "Peter Hornberger, a shoo-in for this Olympic squad, about to arch. You're going to want to watch this, folks, so put down your Rubik's cube, turn off that Yakov Smirnoff standup tape, and set all your swatches to right now.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Hey, Baby, Whats Wrong? (1)"}, {"t": "and help us to further understand that curious race we call human.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Yeah. Plus I don't have to live with you freaks anymore, you know?", "c": ["Tommy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Hey. Ah-choo! No, not cry. Sneeze.", "c": ["Harry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Who are they? Oh, we're interviewing for your replacement, so if you could just... Bye-Bye, Tommy!", "c": ["Tommy", "Dick", "Sally"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "I'm hoping I can leverage my skill set to maximize the mission's effectiveness. You hear that? She's gonna somethin' the mission's whatever.", "c": ["Christie", "Harry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "So, uh, can we reach you at the transmitter in your head? I have a machine.", "c": ["Dick", "Christie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "So, uh, Christie, how you gettin' along with your body? You like the boobs? No. No, I really don't.", "c": ["Dick", "Christie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Mmm. Yeah. The smaller ones aren't as much fun.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "So what do you think, Harry? Well, I think she's our man.", "c": ["Sally", "Harry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 4.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "You're hired. Really? That's great. Thank you. I'm Bryce canyon.", "c": ["Sally", "Bryce"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "I think you just wanna hire him because he's a pretty boy. Fine. You want a question? Ok. Bryce, when can you start? Now. That is the greatest answer to any question I have ever...", "c": ["Harry", "Sally", "Bryce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "These walls are real cinder block. Oh, I don't think so. Dear god, they are!", "c": ["Tommy", "Dick"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "I guess he's asleep. I don't think he's asleep. I think he's passed out. Kahlua and creme.", "c": ["Tommy", "Dick"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "I know he's unconscious, but I really get that kinda buddies-for-life vibe, you know?", "c": ["Tommy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "If you wanted to say that you learned a lot from me, too... that would be fine. Uh... I mean, I must've learned something.", "c": ["Dick", "Tommy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "5, if you're doin' it right.", "c": ["Tommy"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Well, earth beings, otherwise known as humans, get around in cars, which have 4 wheels. Humans... have no wheels.", "c": ["Bryce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Yeah! We've known that for weeks, Bryce.", "c": ["Harry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Well, uh... there are only 2 bagpipe factories in the world. One in edinburgh, scotland, 6 grant road, and the other's in... New guy, new guy, New guy! You've gotta be more specific! What side of the Road?", "c": ["Bryce", "Harry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "New guy, new guy, New guy! You've gotta be more specific! What side of the Road?", "c": ["Harry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Oops. I dropped my pencil. Oops. Oop... hey!", "c": ["Sally", "Bryce"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Say, Bryce, we need some sunbathing information. What do you say you grease up, hit the rooftop, and I'll check on your progress later, huh?", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Don't you dare say that. That's Tommy's chair. That'll always be Tommy's chair. He's not dead. He's just in a different location! That's all! Just in a different location!", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Ah, forget the roof. You know, there's a little light comin' in here. You just lie down right there.", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Your dad? That's cute. See ya.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "See ya later, cind. See ya later, cind. I think she thinks you're a dork.", "c": ["Dick", "Tommy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Oh, no, but it's gotten much better. We just painted.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Yeah. You know, that sort of anti-social, rebellious act that wreaks havoc, but makes you the most popular man on campus.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Something much more destructive than that. You've got to do some real damage if you want to set the girls' hearts a-flutter.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Well, sir, you could try yellow, or maybe dijon... you're just guessing. I know. I'm sorry. I'm a screw-up.", "c": ["Bryce", "Harry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "About that... it feels so tight, especially under the arms. Hmm. You know what's good for that? Vaseline.", "c": ["Bryce", "Harry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Gum can double as adhesive, But most adhesives do not necessarily double as gum.", "c": ["Harry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "No. No. You don't have to call me 'Sir.' Call me 'Your honor.' Your honor. Yeah. Little bit louder. Your honor.", "c": ["Harry", "Bryce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. He'll have to flip. He'll have to flip! Ha HA!", "c": ["Tommy", "Dick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Dick, open the door. You have the... You have the doorknob. I know. Oh, my god! You planned this. You're trying to get me expelled! Bingo!", "c": ["Tommy", "Dick"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "And that's why old men wear their pants higher than young men. That is fantastically useful.", "c": ["Harry", "Bryce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Well, that's my job. Ah, you know, you're making quite a name for yourself in the organization. 'Sally's boy wonder,' that's what they're calling you. Who's calling me that? Sally.", "c": ["Bryce", "Sally"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "How can 'All the way' Be just the beginning? I like the way you think, Bryce... but you can stop now.", "c": ["Bryce", "Sally"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Well, Uh, uh, traffic lights. Green means 'Go.' Aah! You cracked the code.", "c": ["Bryce", "Sally"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "I'm beginning to wonder if you care about traffic lights at all! Oh, Bryce, no!", "c": ["Sally", "Bryce"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Sure. Blame dad. I suppose you'll be sending this good-for-nothing home with me. Well, it is a serious offense. Where are the expulsion forms, in your desk? I could give you a leg up.", "c": ["Dick", "Chancellor"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Tommy, for your infraction, I am issuing a warning. That's it, Tommy. Pack your bags. Get in the car... A warning?", "c": ["Chancellor", "Dick", "Tommy"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "But a warning? Why don't you just give him a big wet kiss?", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "You should wipe scum like this off your campus! I remember my own freshman prank. I messed with the marching band's formation and made 'em spell out a dirty word.", "c": ["Dick", "Chancellor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I'm gonna call her up. She ought to see this. Such attention to detail. I love the coffee mug. Thank you. The coffee mug was my idea.", "c": ["Chancellor", "Dick", "Tommy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "I mean, a Pat on your muscular back is not harassment. Well, I looked it up, and according to state laws, harassment is any verbal or physical overture that makes me feel uncomfortable, and I'm very uncomfortable.", "c": ["Sally", "Bryce"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Well, if you're not comfortable, you should take off your pants. Casual thursday.", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "I treated you like a sexy, hunky object instead of a sexy, hunky employee, and I'm sorry.", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Cool. In you go, you piece of meat!", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Oh, ha ha ha. You know, I don't even know who you are anymore. You've changed. Oh, yes, with your new life of learning, your internet, your nintendo, your fancy friends. Your tv, your virtual reality, your... your... and your... I... I don't even know!", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "I don't want you to go. I don't want you to go.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Parenting's hard. You give love, you give encouragement, you give support... and then, if you do a good job, they just go away.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Parental love at It's best. It's the only love there is that inevitably leads to separation. How do you always know these things? I'm the information officer.", "c": ["Tommy", "Dick"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "It's the only love there is that inevitably leads to separation.", "c": ["Tommy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "You came on to him, huh? Yeah, like Germany came on to Poland.", "c": ["Dick", "Sally"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "He's separating his whites. Yeah, and maybe starting to presoak. Mmm. I hope he goes easy on the bleach, but you know Tommy. He won't. No. Never.", "c": ["Dick", "Harry", "Sally"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "I wonder what Tommy's doing right now? He's separating his whites. Yeah, and maybe starting to presoak. Mmm. I hope he goes easy on the bleach, but you know Tommy. He won't. No. Never.", "c": ["Harry", "Dick", "Sally"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "B.D.O.C."}, {"t": "Fifth Avenue is closed for a joint pain walkathon. It's only four blocks but they are so slow.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Next stop, one millionth street and Central Park jogger memorial highway.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "# Three bucks, two bags, one me #", "c": ["Background character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Say, where does a young prostitute get started in this town?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "we live in the world capital of culture, finance and King Kong attacks", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "she is a thug in a cocktail dress. Alex Mccord, Real housewives of New York", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Now, technically that was about Luann being a bitch at Sonia's Art show.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Am I the only person who saw Obama's press conference on how to sneeze?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "The gym said the odor was attracting bugs that were attracting bats that were attracting bat-hawks.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Sam and Diane are the lesbian couple in my building who murdered each other.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "It's in my contract that I only play blondes, non-Irish redheads, or bald sex robots.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "And if you take it away from me, I will kill myself. And then you.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "I won an Oscar, so now I get to do real art. Begins no dogs phase.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Okay, I got in trouble the last time I said this, but maybe you were asking for it dressed like that.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "How black was this dude? On a scale from Lisa Bonet to dotcom.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "My assailant was a middle-aged white man wearing a button down shirt and dockers. Dockers!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "His knife was from Eddie Bauer.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "How could we pay their salaries without using their money?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "It's Ghostbusters 2 all over again.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "It's the original Ghostbusters all over again.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up. There's nothing you can do.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "What's a commercial?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Hopefully it's not an important parg of my blurn.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "And his sexpectations will be high.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Looser skin, same underwear.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "I can't order you a car unless it's after 9:00, or you have a note from your killer.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "I have a criminal skull shape.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "I was part of a special task force of very young-looking cops who infiltrated high schools.", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "How do you do, fellow kids?", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "I get all my outfits at Ann Taylor loft. Their clothes fit my body and my budget.", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "40 grand a year. But don't let the woman who's blackmailing me know that.", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "if I sneeze, I'll do it like the president taught me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "I'm pregnant with a kitty cat.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "I'm wearing an edible nightgown. It's breadstick flavor and it comes with a dipping sauce.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Like all the Thai STDs my penis is about to give you.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "The sex monkey I bought in Jakarta.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Like, Mr. Brady and tiger the dog?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "It's a whole new fetish called... Normalling.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "So last night, I napped on you and you liked it, you sick bitch.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "And I put that Afghan all over you because I thought your feet might get chilly.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "We go out as a couple to bed, bath and beyond and shop for home necessities. In front of everybody.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Well you make your hair every morning by sticking your head in a cotton candy machine.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "where the starting salary is... $5 million a year.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Plaxico Burress just called our idea 'poorly thought out'. Then hung up by shooting his own phone.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Turkey, pastrami, Swiss, Russian dressing, Cole slaw and potato chips", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Yes, a native American paradise!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Slogan to come.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Yeah, easy for the person who never does the dishes.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "How many times have you climaxed? Zero. Me too.", "c": ["Jenna", "Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Do you know anyone who wants to be called Daryl Weenus?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Jack-Donaghy-is-running for-mayor-2013 new-York-this-is the-website.Com", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "I also got you these goofy water balloons my mom's friend Ron used to always send me out to buy.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "I know they're condoms.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "All I had was a Chewbacca costume made out of used hair extensions.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Let's go outside.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "This morning, Paul and I signed up for zipcar. Now it's easier to get to Costco to stock up on cereal.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "discuss whether the chair would be better... Over by the window where there's more light?", "c": ["Jenna", "Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "That's just couple stuff.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Oh, you smell like when the stone Mountain tire fire joined up with the corpse fire, and then swept through the downtown Manure district.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "It was our fault for letting those high schoolers dance at their prom.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "A drawer full of leaky batteries that I don't know what to do with?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Plastic cups go on the top rack of the dishwasher so they don't melt. Otherwise, no rules.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "They keep you dry but it all has to go somewhere.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Do you want me to go on my antibiotic rant? It's endless. You'll beg for death.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Now, I don't cross lines, I just make 'em... disappear.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "You know what, you and Jenna should come visit me and my wife in Montclair.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Sexual walkabout.", "c": ["Jenna", "Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Talking to myself to seem crazy... moo-goo!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "Gimme $20!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "The worst criminal in # N-Y-C", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "You're the only woman I could ever fight to regain my manhood.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "You're the only woman I could ever fight to regain my manhood.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "8 million people in this crazy, beautiful city, and I, Jenna Maroney, am going to go to town on every last one of them.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Tuxedo Begins"}, {"t": "I've had my skin tags removed since then so you can see my eyes now.", "c": ["Thad"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Thank you, no everyone thinks of the young Nazi boy as the star of that show.", "c": ["Thad"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "A lot of people didn't realize that was the free, unlicensed version.", "c": ["Thad"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I don't see people that look like that.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "And this is coming from someone who wrote lyrics to the song the cantina band plays in Star Wars.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "No, that was sad Thad the skintag lad. I coined that.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I don't know a lot about business, but he did an Internet and now the computers like him and Wall Street is Google.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Liz, I'm on a sexual walkabout right now.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Poke your eye, pull your hair, you forgot what clothes to wear.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "He lives in the Mariana trench. He emerges every four years to trade children's tears for candy?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "After high school, I went on rumspringa. It was crazy. I totally snuck into The Witches of Eastwick.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Certainly not at a Michael's crafts crafting cruise.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I listened to rap music for the first time. Not a fan.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Okay, fine, I'll go, but if he has a giant chandelier in his house, I'm out. Those things fall.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "We just, uh, stomp on your foot. Kick you in the knee, Yankees suck, go pats.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I can't believe the woman who watches all six pawn shop reality shows has never seen the movie, Leap Dave Williams.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Dave, is everything all right? I definitely don't have gills. I mean, nothing. I mean, yes.", "c": ["TV Show"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, that's what Chris kept quoting this morning during our love... making.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "He's a mormon. You know how they are about Leap Day.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Of course, take off my bald cap. Not put on my wig.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "You know, the one that crosses so slowly across the road and then you swerve to make sure you hit it and then a car coming the other way swerves to avoid you and goes off a cliff. And then that night you and your companion have the greatest sex of your lives because you're both sharing a secret.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "My aquarium guy's coming to see about turning this whole room into an aquarium. Who's really in the aquarium? The fish or us?", "c": ["Thad"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Mean laughter, sound of a drink being poured. What are you writing now, you slack-jawed donkey?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Right, I did an ad and insisted on being paid in beni bucks.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "It's like I said in my cameo appearance in Leap Dave Williams, 'gimme your wallet, old man!'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Help us to 'Whip' the competition.", "c": ["News"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "You know the saying, 'rhubarb red, eat away, rhubarb green, don't eat them.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I've watched newt gingrich eat a plate of ribs. I think my stomach can handle some rhubarb leaves.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "One of my birds is sick and I want to get home in time to baptize her.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Just dab some scotch on your neck and make your eyes the color of a winter crystal so she'll think you're me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Frak, I'm supposed to say 'floor' first.", "c": ["Thad"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Watching you every night on that stage and realizing my dad was wrong. I do like girls.", "c": ["Thad"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "In Game of Thrones, Xaro is a rich merchant prince who wishes to acquaint himself with the mother of dragons.", "c": ["Thad"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Great, well... Scooby Doo!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Well the joke's on you because that commercial never aired for unexplained reasons.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I just touched the table again. God, you call for help! I'll just put my head on the table for a second.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Nothing that happens on Leap Day counts.", "c": ["Jenna", "Criss"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "It looks like we've got a slut-off on our hands.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "One Leap Day when I was a kid, the Harlem River froze, and I decided to cross it carrying my brick collection.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I have screen grabs of all your nip s.", "c": ["Model"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Click click. That's their stilettos. Click click.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I've dug too many graves.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I do have a long, elegant face, thank you, but I can't enjoy your compliment, because I'm sad.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I am always coughing up blood. Could that be Leap Day William trying to get out?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I am always coughing up blood. Could that be Leap Day William trying to get out?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "What are you? An intercourse monster?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Is sex like when the Na'vi intertwine their hair braids?", "c": ["Thad"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Aw, damn it. Hot bitches.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Jackie, we can't go to the parade today. I got called into work... at the hospital... where I'm a nurse.", "c": ["Jack's Mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Okay, I'll change me eye color, but it seem like a waste of voodoo.", "c": ["Sherry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Looks like this time the male will be in the Czech.", "c": ["Karolina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Hey, Liz, a gym teacher on a sex tour of Indonesia called. He wants his shirt back.", "c": ["Karolina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Looks like this time the male will be in the Czech.", "c": ["Karolina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "Remember where I came from. But we all came from the sea. Sea? Like the letter 'C', which is part of the alphabet. Alphabet soup. Soup kitchen.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "I saved Leap Day! And connected with my son! And I solved the big case from earlier!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "But, these lessons aren't good just for every four years. No. They're good every year. Because we should live every day as if it's Leap Day, and every Leap Day as if it's your last.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "No. They're good every year. Because we should live every day as if it's Leap Day, and every Leap Day as if it's your last.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Leap Day"}, {"t": "There she is! Whore of whores!", "c": ["Sylvia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Dio mio,i'm an old fool. What is wrong with me? My boy's in love! Come over for dinner. Tonight. Do you like ox, Liz? I'll defrost an ox for you.", "c": ["Sylvia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "I have a boyfriend. In Canada.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "And I can't be your girlfriend, 'cause I'm not an old pedophile. We prefer the term adultophobe.", "c": ["Liz", "Lynn"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "I got really good at hiding in prison and making wine in my toilet.", "c": ["Lynn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "In prison, I was part of a fake family with a bald woman, and our son was a basketball with a wig on it, but... okay. This is creepy.", "c": ["Lynn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Like that parasite I got from eating Sushi on AmTrak.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "And I'm including making it through the '80s without having sex with Belinda Carlisle.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "We have far too many sponsors that make housework easier for women.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Son, if you wanna get ahead in this world... Oh, God, this hurts... Tell your mother I'm gay.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Someone with a key to my office, a janitor or a security guard or some black... Hearted individual, probably white", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "My Uncle was a cop... In a porno.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Mine was called goodlooking. I played Alexis goodlooking who was also good-looking, and my special ability was being good at looking for clues.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "But I do know America's kinda like this here crab apple tree... John Fitzgerald Kennedy.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "We can't say 'dick wolf' on TV.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "by the end of this quarter, we're all gonna be in the black... comma... guys. Not, we're all gonna be in the black guys.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Balloon!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Let's do some cocaine.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Like 'lazy Susan,' 'cause I'm lazy and effeminate.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Pizza demon! No, that can't be right.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "except accused witches.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Eat an arancine.", "c": ["Sylvia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "I should tell my husband I'm gonna be late tonight. No, wait, I can't. He's dead.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "We wanted booze, but we didn't wanna hang out with Pete. It's the worst! He always brings out his guitar and sings. He's got one story, and it's about him seeing Phil Donahue at a mall.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "posing for 'Prayboy.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Shut up! Just shut up, Roy! I am talking to Kenneth. I'm dealing with something! No one wants to hear from you.", "c": ["Bradley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Like Ikea good!", "c": ["Sylvia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "That's where the vampires used to live.", "c": ["Sylvia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "You're sitting at dinner next to a beautiful older woman. Eat something and kiss her!", "c": ["Sylvia"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Elizabeth, I'm gonna ask you to leave. But this is my...", "c": ["Sylvia", "Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Pray for a body switch mix-up so we can see the world from each other's perspectives?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Look, all I wanted to do was hang with my friends, rock some jams, and tell the story about my cousin seeing Phil Donahue. I mean me! I-I'm the one who saw him.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "I mean me! I-I'm the one who saw him.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Don't fall in love with your car?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Oh, God. It was mice! The blanket was mice!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "It's the only part where we weren't having break-up sex.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "It's the only part where we weren't having break-up sex.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Henry Warren-Chang. I married a very bossy Chinese lady.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "I lease a certified pre-owned lexus, both my sons are magicians, and for my birthday, wei-lin got me tickets to the Broadway show Memphis.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "both my sons are magicians", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Well... that sofa is made from sea biscuit.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Regular white-tan candle color, Jack!", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "You're gonna hang out with Pete every night this week. Why would we do that? 'Cause we have you dead to rights, you black bastard!", "c": ["Jenna", "Tracy", "Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "We know you ordered a porn version of Temple Grandin entitled ten poles rammed in.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Who attacked you and gave you that haircut?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "No one should have to be married to Gerard Butler. Or hilary swank!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Forget it, Tracy. It's midtown.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "I've met jaleel White. Incredibly charismatic. He makes Stefan urquelle look like Steve urkel.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "like stone Mountain's mailman riding his trusty donkey erasmus.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Like Hitler... Or Willy wonka.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "I get all my news from the radio in Grand Theft Auto.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Ma'am, I am in a Mexican prison gang. You kill me, Los Tiberones will green-light a 1-8-7 on you, and you don't want that kind of heat.", "c": ["Lynn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Your meatballs. Lynn and Frank... Are just as good as your meatballs.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "That's it? We're meatballs? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.", "c": ["Lynn"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Johnny Carson in his monologue said I was looking at 20 years, but I'd probably be more attracted to 12.", "c": ["Lynn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Okay, but if you look at my Internet history, I'm researching a movie about two male centaurs kissing.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "This isn't creepy because you're dating your teacher. This is creepy because you're dating your mother. You found someone just like me because I'm the woman you really wanna be with!", "c": ["Sylvia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "And Phil Donahue's walking past cinnabon and he's making eye contact with me", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "My wife had two of the president's babies, and you're one of 'em.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Lord knows some of my friends are just shrubs I put hats on and get high with.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "This movie was written by white nerds.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Alexis Goodlooking And The Case Of The M"}, {"t": "Last time I was this excited was this morning. I saw a cat wearing the same sweater as its person.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "So, Jack, how's your wife? Still kidnapped?", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Not that it matters, even if Brock doesn't win, he is going to get a record contract. So, it definitely doesn't matter. This isn't the last we will be seeing of Brock.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Kidz is a hit the whole family can watch together, not your usual sitcom crap full of gratuitous vulgarity and pratfalls. My penis!", "c": ["Jack", "Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Now, of course, none of these little condom accidents could actually make me cry", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "It's an old acting trick I learned from Glenn Beck's prostitute.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "That was my angriest hug, 'cause that's how I feel right now.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "The Federal Clown Commission. I hope that comes off as respectful. My father was a clown, and I know how hard those men work.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "People have forgotten about that thing, but any white male can arrest any other person.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Because of last night's cluster-whoops", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I feel like Oscar the grouch today, and not just 'cause I woke up in a garbage can this morning, startling someone named Gordon.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "You're the one who solved that? Thank you so much.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "1997 Heather Locklear, what are you doing here?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "God. Don't adopt. That child is better off in Somalia. It could be a pirate, or a warlord's concubine.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Cashing your dead aunt's social security checks? No, I'm still doing that.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "the calumet city egg donation center and house of blues", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Hang on, are you saying you have a kid? No, I don't. I have six kids.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Jerome, share the bronzer, you slut.", "c": ["Jenna's child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Little league tryouts are coming soon. How would you like to wind up on a team with... None of your friends?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "What are you doing to Molly? She already had to live through world war ii.", "c": ["Ava"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Like a human silly band!", "c": ["Ava"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I'm tall enough now that there isn't a roller coaster in the world I can't go on.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "You guys drink beer. Or are you babies?", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Left, left, right, right, left... Judy.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "If you want to get to know me, read my 2006 interview in AmTrak magazine.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "No, 'Kenneth' is short for andromakennethamblesorton.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I'm surprised they allow you to say 'doctor.' It's so close to 'gynecologist' which is disgusting.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Kenneth is being a real... dingbat, which is now the harshest word we are allowed to say.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "That's why I hired a Cato to attack me at random. Like inspector clouseau.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Excellent, Cato, excellent!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Autocorrect. I was trying to say 'pen organizer.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "God! You're a winter!", "c": ["Jenna's child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Judy. Bye, Judy. Could've just gotten another chair.", "c": ["Multiple children", "Judy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I'm very good at voices, Kaylie. I'm very good.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "This has nothing to do with you!", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Isn't that just a sweat shop? I know!", "c": ["Jack", "Kaylie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I once took a log with googly eyes to a father-son picnic.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "No, there's only one of me. What? What are you asking?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "You can't say 'using' on TV. It implies drug use.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I am responding, I am matching your tone, and making my own point.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I stole that speech from an episode JAG, but it applies here.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Tomorrow is my colonoscopy. Today was my meeting with Colin o'Scopy.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Well, I was voted head of the PTA, so no.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "then on to that last bastion of the incompetent rich, USC.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "She's vicious and vulnerable.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "but having glimpsed yet another tile in the rich mosaic that is your menstrual history.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "and you guys are suckling on prosthetic dog teats that I'm wearing.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "That's Hugh Hefner, Jessica. Yeah, we have no idea who that is, so you're kind of just proving our point.", "c": ["Jenna", "Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "and sit down and pee in silence, like dudes do.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "without Liz Lemon yelling at me, and I just wish I had never been born!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "and boss around those Jewish executives that were trained from birth to argue?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "You should just smack that Liz in the mouth.", "c": ["Kenneth Toilethole"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "You should just smack that Liz in the mouth.", "c": ["Kenneth Toilethole"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I'm Kenneth, by the way. Me too. I'm Kenneth. Kenneth... uh... Toilethole.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Kenneth Toilethole"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I'm her Nemesis.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "A Parcell man has never been called 'mister' outside of an execution chamber.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "They threw me away like I was some kind of Judy.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "My brain is working overtime. I finally understand the ending of The sixth sense. Those names are the people who worked on the movie.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Son of a dingbat!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "You know why I love Dominican women? 'Cause they love to those big 'Cause they eat all our aloud.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I'm promoting you, you little -face.", "c": ["Gaylord Felcher"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "I just had fruit roll-ups for dinner... At a strip club.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Her name is Jack... ie. Jackie... officecouch.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "You know, I'm starting to suspect that I have bad luck.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "You know, I'm starting to suspect that I have bad luck.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Standards And Practices"}, {"t": "Wake up, mother-. / Die, demon! / Why didn't you ever call me back?", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, unless Harry's law really took off this week and no one told me, you two are the biggest stars at the network", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "On television, and when it comes to the assisted suicide debate", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Secret handshake, my baloney", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "It's the tail I had until I was 16", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I'll take care of Tracy and Jenna like they're my own children. Which is a bad example, because I left my kids at a sears in 2004", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "He's only allergic to allergy medication. But he loves it", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "The U.S. Rodeo Association does not lift lifetime bans", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Michael Lohan and vomiting into a bagpipe", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I will be wearing head-to-toe orange, in honor of protestant William of Orange, inventor of the Orange, according to Yahoo answers", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "hurricane shamrock", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "write a meandering play about how amazing the Irish are at not overcoming adversity", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Please, without Germans, you wouldn't have any of the Indiana Jones movies", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I thought it was contributing to a retirement account", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Take it back, you witch!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Hey, what are you doing? Get out of my studio! / Happy St. Patrick's day!", "c": ["Ira Glass", "Drunk Irish person"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Didn't you hear my show on bullying?", "c": ["Ira Glass"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Megan! Megan! Look at them spin around. They're so confused. It's too many Megans, right?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "You know what, I can't wait till the asians take over", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I tried to steal beer from a Duane reade, and some black guy cold-cocked me. / Ooh, like a security guard? / I don't know, pal. I don't see people that way", "c": ["Dennis", "Criss"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Oh, Michael Jackson's ghost... / Oh, Great Kabbalah monster...", "c": ["Hazel", "Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! They said my name first", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "like on the set ocean's 12, when I put that snake in George Clooney's bed. I was not in the movie", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "You better not be talking about my dear friend, America Ferrera", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I'll replace your lizard with a gay guy in a giant champagne bottle", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Siri, kill Jenna!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "The only baloney Tracy has is the baloney he's full of", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I killed Jenna elfman. / Is that right?", "c": ["Tracy", "Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Jenna thinks that Christina Aguilera lost her voice during childbirth", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Why don't we drive to Sears? I'll buy you a toy", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "None of the writers can go out on St. Patrick's day because we all have faces people naturally just want to punch", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Colonizers of Malaar. It's a strategy board game from the makers Goblet quest and virginity keep", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "but that means I control all the wheat!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "You've got to replace 'Malaar' with 'Fairfield, Connecticut,' and 'unicorn' with... unicorn, a death Ray", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I got this new business where I burn your old DVDs onto laserdisc", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I don't have health insurance because of Obama", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "At burning man, and we agreed never to talk about that. At sunset, the CACTI start to resemble people looking for hugs", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "We're bang brothers", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "It's like sex, but your husband isn't looking at a picture of a bridge", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "After you PMS-ed about their names yesterday, I thought numbers would make everyone happy", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Would a third host help? I am S.A.G. eligible, but I will only do nude stuff if there's a mirror behind me", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "That failed... And the Orcs raped everybody", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot, Klootzak. I don't come to where you work and slap the...", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "And you would presume to wield the scepter of Thalbain?", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Dennis Duffy is like the Terminator with cheaper sunglasses", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "You'll be back. / If I ever see you again, I'll kill you. / You'll be back, Liz Lemon. You'll be back", "c": ["Dennis", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Guy with a concussion on St. Patrick's day is like a horse with a broken leg. / Exactly. We should shoot him", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Criss, get in here. There's a lez movie on showtime", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I'm trapped in a barren wasteland, and no matter what I do, I can't get out. Wait. Oh, my God, it's happening again. The desert of Kroth is Kabletown", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I'm putting an old German curse on you", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "when I wake up, we're on our honeymoon. At seaworld", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "And once again, the puppet will become the puppet master. / What does that mean, 'once again'? That's not a thing", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Their daughter, she goes off to college, and Mark Ruffalo, he's just gonna do his own thing with the restaurant", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "She's a card girl at kangaroo boxing matches, so she's got a body, and she's loaded. Her grandfather invented the stop sign", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Love you. / You're the best. / Love you. / Scooby-doo. / I love you. / I just ordered thai food", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Why, because you both have had huge weight fluctuations?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "By starting a fire and then rescuing everyone from it? And then I'm a hero and then I'm Playboy?", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Whoa, buy me a drink first.", "c": ["Priest"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "His only worldly possession was no snakes", "c": ["Father"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I passed out laughing on 69th Street", "c": ["Megan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "You got two minutes to fill a sock with quarters, and then we go outside", "c": ["Megan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "You got two minutes to fill a sock with quarters, and then we go outside.", "c": ["Megan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "You're the most Irish person here", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Is 70 not a good IQ?", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "And not just 'cause today's the day that guy that tried to kill me gets out of jail", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, you could get a prostitute for $5", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I'm going to turn my desert into glass, and glass is a commodity that you all need", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I'm going to turn my desert into glass, and glass is a commodity that you all need, for your elfin oracle mirrors, for your crystal palace, for the colorful glass beads that you keep buying for some reason.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "for the colorful glass beads that you keep buying for some reason. / I'm going to wear them to the pirates' ball", "c": ["Jack", "Lutz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Today Malaar... Tomorrow Kabletown.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I am a virgin... with white guys.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I am a virgin... with white guys", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "More importantly, I have never been with someone for longer than nine months. You and I have been together for six, so I assume something will go wrong soon", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I don't understand your art, Kevin", "c": ["Random person"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "You solo-ed me.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "You solo-ed me", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "That is a person named Liz Lemon who just told some dude she loves him. Well, I have known her for a long time and she never said that before", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Also, TV viewers liked when in a show is a song", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "We found that if someone is actually on nbc, They're 4% more likely to watch it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "[robotic voice] keep the white house white.", "c": ["Contest Winner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Oh, really? 'cause this one is typed on the inside Of a bloody halter top.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I thought you said a man should never wear pastel Unless he's a black guy on easter.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I need to tone down my natural aura Of strength and sexual dominance.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "as it turns out, amnesty international Is nothing but a company that makes and sells candles.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "That explains all the vigils. That is a good scam.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Media is a plural noun. Put this tie on.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "It's called... Rhythm and news.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I know I'm a big shot now with my suits And a desk lamp that I control", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "On behalf of the mother[bleep] Standards department, I, gaylord felcher, present you With the 'employee of the [bleep] week' award.", "c": ["Standards Department Guy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Can you? You just did.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "My parents were technically brothers--", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Just like nana parcell, my heartworm.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "There was a mine collapse in china. Turns out, to keep labor costs down, All the miners there are babies. They pay 'em in yogurt.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Remember when we used to be the world leader in baby cuteness? I can't compete with that.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "adult dogs can't fit in the baby mines, So they're lowering down puppies to bring in supplies.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "do not write another sketch about krang From teenage mutant ninja turtles. No one knows who krang is. It would be a waste of time to talk about krang on television. No more krang!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Krang!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "'cause I took one of those 'which gossip girl are you?' quizzes, And it said I was the dad's guitar.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Your rack is like, 'pow!'", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "And then he had his way with me. With his eyes.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "They're all a bunch of gays.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Leslie or courtney?", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Just like the karate kid-- hilary swankarate kid iv.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Either cnn gets back on the avery jessup story, Or I'll tell everyone your real name, steel hammerhands.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I want you to hire a giant to stand in the background Of every scene I'm in to make me look daintier.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "It's why lamar odom married that giant kardashian girl.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "'I'm home, jack. And I brought back a bunch of oriental sex powders.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I played italian party whore in the amanda knox story.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Send a bunch of pies to the oxygen network.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "tracy's jaw is tired from pretending to be pac-man.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I definitely have a penis.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "You wanna be bossed around by this trailer park hitler?", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "are you busy regretting your life choices, For example, missing your window for having children?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I bet even hillary clinton has to put up with this crap From whoever was secretary of state before her.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "'leave girl alone or you deal with me, surf shop owner.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Put a bag of popcorn in the microwave beforehand. That way, when you're done, you have a treat.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "And you know, I used to weigh 800 pounds.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Like by greeting him at the front door Wearing nothing but false teeth.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "If this were two years ago, I would sit on you till you died.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "You mean lois lane's love affair with journalism?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I said it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I guess I won't be able to go to the gym this weekend.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Don't worry, I'll bring you back a t-shirt from successtown. Ow! My groin!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "You were wrong. They do still make crossbows.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "We on a show within a show! My real name is tracy morgan!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "No, kenneth, I let him buy a motorcycle ramp And no motorcycle!", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "We on a show within a show! My real name is tracy morgan!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Those are my toes he's sucking on. And he did not want to.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I own a magnet that can scramble her pacemaker.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "just because my college Got tipped over by those miami heat fans.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Practical, emotional, and there's actual intelligence, Which is what I'm talking about.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Would a dumb person be able to think of something amazing To say as she leaves?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "what? Who is this, hah-zel? I no permit you talk other woman.", "c": ["Razmig"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "You have pictures? Fat nudes?", "c": ["Razmig"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "You are a big woman. You have pictures? Fat nudes?", "c": ["Razmig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I may [bleep] hate you right now, You little [bleep], but [bleep] damn it I respect you.", "c": ["Standards Guy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "When I went to the bathroom on the hood of your car Before I thought of this plan?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Her ruthless pursuit of self-interest. It's the heart of capitalism. And the beautiful black heart of my wife.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "I have a female condom to take out. Unless... Going once...", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Goo-goo, ga-ga, my fellow ah-meh-ri-cans.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "'cause I would do anything for love, But I won't do that.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "That was a real commercial for an erectile dysfunction drug.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "That's how the banking industry learned its lesson. And now they're doing amazing, and everyone's honest.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "You were teaching me the whole time, And all the while lighting a fire with that hot ass.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "\u266a ahhh, do the sprinkler here we go.", "c": ["Leminem"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Grandmentor"}, {"t": "Pride: Make every room a bathroom.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Boy meets girl. Girl gets kidnapped by asian dictator. Boy makes movie to get girl back. Girl's so grateful she does birthday things to boy. Boy falls asleep.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "'cause I'm gonna be mitt rom-mummy. I call it. You can't steal it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Why wouldn't you be mitt-zombie? Because I'm an idiot!", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "You're forgetting boy meets girl's mother. They are creepily attracted to each other.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "I need to thank my co-writers, gary greasy And jesus, a homeless man I stole the melody from.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "\u266a trapper keeper, snickers bar, my thermos hit the floor \u266a \u266a broken knapsack", "c": ["Weird Al"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Like, when people wanna see your boobs at mardi gras.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Weird al corrupted something beautiful That was written to distract gary greasy While he came down from meth.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "My father wore this to his high school prom. The theme was enchantment under the jim crow laws.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "[dubbed over] beautiful geniuses --Holes.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Put a message in a bottle and throw it in the river. That's where I go every day to fish for shoes.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Throw your resume away on the fourth floor And we'll be in touch.", "c": ["Old Janitor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Pride: The world is your toilet.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "We smash cut to a night of passion In a completely dark room. Bathing suit areas get a workout.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "[ridiculous boston accent] - jack, who's calling ya At such a wicked late hour? Ya mother?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Jack donaghy, 50s, big irish head", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "think courteney cox-- Dances with a handsome pilot-- Think a young fred grandy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "No, that's how people from boston sound to me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "I got four inches of steel that might change your mind.", "c": ["Unknown Actor"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 4.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "I turned down intercourse with harvey weinstein On no less than three occasions...Out of five.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "What do you think phil collins Was trying to do with sussudio? Which weird al famously parodied soup soupy-o.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "What do you think phil collins Was trying to do with sussudio?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "I'm glad to see the endgame of feminism Is women dressing like dennis the menace at work.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Because it's crass, jack. Like personalized wedding vows or standing up in a pool.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Like personalized wedding vows or standing up in a pool.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "My housekeeper started screaming.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "I flew here, but I saw a train from the window.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "I flew here, but I saw a train from the window.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "All my life, I have been the third wheel That prevents people from having sex.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "In college, they called me 'the blocker'.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but you're stressed and you're lonely And that woman has flawless skin, Like an organic chicken. I haven't had lunch.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Since the creation of earth 800 years ago.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "You must crumble like greek statues.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "One in four americans has an std. Chlamydia, herpes, garden variety genital swelling-- Rectal fissures.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Diana, are you a time-traveler? Because I don't know how my mother-in-law Could be younger than my wife.", "c": ["Lance"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "I would never use that much math In complimenting a woman. Their brains can't handle it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "The fighter pilot wrists, the hair like a mature otter's pelt, Shoulders you could ride bareback.", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Slip what? Drill him against a wall. Wouldn't mind giving him the old skin flute.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Don't eat that pie, don't eat my fries, don't wear that tie, Don't smell that guy.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, did you just say baloney thighs? Because that's the name of the boat weird al's gonna buy With the money he makes off you...Dumb bitch!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "There's nothing you can change pizza to. Because it's already weird.", "c": ["Jenna", "Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "This ice tea is so strong.", "c": ["Lance"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Prius is the latin word for impotence.", "c": ["Lance"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "There hasn't been a good Non-boat painting in 5,000 years.", "c": ["Lance"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Sometimes to prevent monkey business, we must create it. The blocker.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "How is taking your mother-in-law Out on a date acting like you?", "c": ["Lance"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "It's impossible not to have a great time At planet hollywood.", "c": ["Lance"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "An idea that's off the charts, kemosabe.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Nothing can stop me now. [squeals] It's okay. I'm doing great. Everything's gonna work out.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "\u266a I eat pizza, I eat cheese \u266a \u266a I eat lots of broccolis \u266a \u266a fart so loud, fart so loud \u266a \u266a yum-yums make me fart so loud \u266a", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Oh, mr. Subhas, your wife is on the phone. She's making dinner and she wants to know If you found any prosciutto today.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Why are you dressed like a janitor? - It's my new job. - But you just got promoted. - Well, I've had a few setbacks", "c": ["Jack", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Medically, it's a neck ridge.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "[whispering] I lie to myself. Every morning, when I wake up, I say, 'everything's gonna be okay.' But I'm lying. And I don't know how much longer I can do it.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.66, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "\u266a daddy's fightin' overseas \u266a \u266a lord, keep him safe for mommy, please \u266a \u266a heart so proud \u266a \u266a daddy make my heart so proud \u266a", "c": ["Weird Al"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Yankovic! He reversed the parody. He normal al'd us.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "You know he was stationed at pearl harbor? During the korean war?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "Our love is off the charts, kemosabe.", "c": ["Lance"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "She made me boink her this morning And at first, I was like, 'please-- She boinks like a dog.", "c": ["Lance"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "This is a group process, lemon. Don't be an egomaniac.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Kidnapped By Danger"}, {"t": "I started eating the lettuce on my plate under my onion rings", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I'm actually eating the onion part of my onion rings", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "thanks to my exciting relationship with Carol, who is a man. Although we have done nothing that lesbians could not do", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "thanks to my boyfriend Wesley, whom I hate", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Every morning I get up and come to this office while my wife cheats on me with Jared", "c": ["Howard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I remember Mrs. Doyle pulling me aside to talk about it in the seventh grade", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I was in the shower when I finally got the title of the movie Face off. Face off, face off.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Nerd alert, nerd alert", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "To sit on their couches, and hear stories. Here's one. 1968. We were on patrol somewhere near the Cambodian border.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "So we boiled the skull, and made a tea kettle out of it", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Everyone hide your bones. Dogbeard the pirate just sailed into woof harbor", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.71, "im": 4.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Because I think Corka-Coola brand diet banana lime causes 'tum nungnuss'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "we got a 'jeers' in Corporate Blimps Weekly", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "a white man who still buys Cadillacs", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Whoa, gumballs!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Cut it out, you perverts. I know what you're doing. It's the first warm day of the year, and women are starting to take off their winter clothes", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Eyes down here, boys. I have breasts, you know.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Button up. Cerie, put on one of my soup ponchos", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Take a picture, it'll last longer. Here you go.", "c": ["Cerie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "because her lines didn't have any 'K' sounds, which she thinks is the funniest sound", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "My cousin Karl crashed his car, and now he's in a coma at the Kendall clinic", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "But I just bought a Letterman jacket with 'the German' embroidered on it. It's not refundable if you personalize it!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "You never say that name in the theater. It is curs-ed.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I was trained in stage acting and game show pointing at the Royal Tampa Academy of dramatic tricks", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Where I studied theater superstition, under Professor Duane 'Crawfish' Kenny", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "a timely satire of MacBeth, where mayor McCheese and his wife, an ambitious pickle, murder king Ronald", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Do you know how many mirrors I've smashed just thinking it was a blonde woman mocking me?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I just have to be out in time for my band to be on Letterman", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I bought a groupon for a couples' massage at a resort in the Catskills where Henny Youngman used to take his mistresses", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "As the doctor said to me after my hepatitis test, 'you got it, sweetheart.'", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I don't trust my accountant. I think he's lying to me about being Jewish. I step on more wine glasses than he does.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I was gonna tell Dotcom I loved his novel as an April fool's joke", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I went and took a shower at the Racquet Club, where I saw Lou Dobbs step on his own testicles", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Still trying to get the ol' jumper cables on the tires of your brain muffler?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "You have to talk like this! You can only say what's essential! And you get to point at things!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "'Summer horse grave'?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Meditation is a waste of time, like learning French, or kissing after sex", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "thanks to his frequent scratch-off lotto victories, finding all that treasure on the island he owns in the Caribbean", "c": ["Accountant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "And designing Kate Middleton's wedding gown. She was wonderful. Collaborative, fun, and a little dangerous.", "c": ["Accountant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Five dog now five. No, that's just the confusing title Disney gave the fifth Snow dogs movie. The 'S' s are fives.", "c": ["Accountant", "Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I took all of my money and put it in my pool and froze it", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Like Lady McCheese, I will 'screw my courage to the sticking McNugget.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "a state of pure inner peace, where all pants have built-in underwear", "c": ["Liz's Meditation Vision"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Is it, 'time to make the donuts'?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Is it, 'time to make the donuts'?", "c": ["Liz's Meditation Vision"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Buy me a drink first. Ow.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "shower me, Lemon. Shower me in the inane waters of television, food, and feet", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I once pantsed Deepak Chopra while Craig T. Nelson taped it", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "It can't be done. Oh, God, the carpet. Somebody hold my hair back.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I've seen people killed with shoes, but never like that", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "like I need another curse. Too busty.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "My casserole's burning! My casserole's burnt!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "You know what they'd thought when I saw up your skirt. Nice. Someone won the crotch jackpot.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "sing Motown together into hairbrushes, have a pair of vintage Jordache jeans that we share", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I can't afford a third strike", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "you made the same mistake Mickey Rourke made on that catamaran", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "You made the same mistake Mickey Rourke made on that catamaran.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "If I get thirsty, I'll just drink the water from lunch I saved in my cheek", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "If I get thirsty, I'll just drink the water from lunch I saved in my cheek.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Taking my original buttocks wasn't enough for those bastards", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Taking my original buttocks wasn't enough for those bastards.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "I fell asleep at a Raymour and Flanigan last week, and a black family tried to buy me", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Not buying the Phillies, not marrying my wife sooner, and not surprising you any quicker with this hug", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "so I said I had a bomb", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Liz and I, or 'Lazel,' are really worried about you", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "You're just another weird page, and I already have one of those. Aw, thank you.", "c": ["Liz", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Jack, the rats have my meditation stool. Help! Shoot it free! Let her go, you bastard!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "It is a tail told by an idiot, full sound of furry, signifying nothing", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "Would you like to try our apple dippers?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Shower Principle"}, {"t": "My greatest weakness is humility. I'm probably the most humble person in the whole world.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "What three words best describe me? The. Complete. Package. My greatest weakness... Is chocolate.", "c": ["Unknown coworker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "When I used to live with Liz, I would videotape her sleeping and sell it to Japanese businessmen", "c": ["Jack", "Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "No wonder that tour group kept calling me 'sleep whore-San.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "I filled it out last night after mixing alcohol with prescription... exhaustion.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "This is the biggest waste of time since NBC's diversity writing program. That was a good idea, but all of our actors are so white.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Slap it to me, Daddy-O. Popo popped dookie down by the vacants.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "I was shooting blow darts at Maggie Gyllenhaal from a heating vent.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "He's directing a live-action Smurfs sequel, so I went to Times Square, did cartwheels like he asked...", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "This isn't body paint. It's a spray they use to kill geese at airports.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Did you pass out in a goose costume at LaGuardia?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "It's called 'Desire,' but with a 'Z' instead of the second 'E.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "The Knicks, a mop from a strip club, a carefree hobo, a crate with a new giraffe in it, and broccoli.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "I feel an old Jack-o-lantern from last Halloween.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Who has the time, with work, family and hobbies and listing excuses?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "It smells like grandma's house at Christmas. That's when we found her dead on the toilet.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Those look like hands to me.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "What if the Wright brothers had said, 'let's just keep making bicycles,' or Alexander windowblinds had said, 'no, I don't want to partially see outside'?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "The last time I tried to put myself out there, the girl turned out to be a cop.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "What? Like Frasier? But that's fun...", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "My father was a congressman. I was valedictorian at St. Andrew's, an olympic archer, fourth guitarist in Loverboy... As a teenager.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "George W. Bush, during his 'let's do coke and buy the Texas rangers' phase. But he made a decision to be the best president ever and then he was.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "I can either drill a hole in the back of your head, and push it out with your brain... Okay, that sounds good.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman", "Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Being a doctor is exactly like the game 'Operation.' And there we go.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Women staying quiet.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "If my Foster mom saw it, she would make me sell it at a pawn shop to get our family a cheerio.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think the stories of your childhood poverty are exaggerated, but continue.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "I was talking to my lover on my Bluetooth. One moment, suki.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Please try to get it on video for my nephew's funny website.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "May I suggest messily eating an orange while I photograph it?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "The Bible says it's wrong, but it's the surprise hit of the season on ABC, so I don't know.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Who even remembers 2007?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "In this big trash bag, I see everyone's mistakes, their embarrassing secrets, their dreams they don't dare share with anyone.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "They call me 'the natural.' I'm so good, the other janitors just sit in the basement all day getting drunk and laughing about this idiot they know.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Like a couple of Jews watching The Daily Show.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Including the one that looked like a terrified Asian man?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Except of course, uh, hide and seek.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Actually she took me that first night.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "For God's sake, Hornberger, the dummy is winning!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "I'm submitting to its strength. It's the Alpha.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "\u266a Perfume and roses and strong halitosis \u266a \u266a Powders and flowers and spicy clam chowders \u266a", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Daddy?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "She writes the songs herself. When she can't cry any more, she writes!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "You're the man who took professional boudoir photographs and then tried to mail them to Parade magazine columnist Marilyn Vos Savant.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "I happen to think that smart is sexy. Our foreplay would be puzzle-solving.", "c": ["Toofer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "You don't matter.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "You don't do 22 episodes of 'Celebrity outhouse' with Lorena Bobbitt without learning a few things.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Midnight symphony. You are the conductor of your own proud African orchestra.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "You didn't go to the store for milk and heroin and then never come back.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Corn is not the only thing he popped, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Great men like Richard Nixon, the 1980 olympic hockey team, my good friend John Rambo.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "I was mugged by what I'm pretty sure was two five-year-olds in a trench coat.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "No, I'm quoting myself talking to Bruce Willis.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "If it isn't tweedle-Dee and tweedle-black.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "If you can't stand the heat, get off of Mickey Rourke's sex grill.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "He is estranged from his son Kellan Lutz from Twilight.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "I want to be famous to make people love me because I hate myself. The Jenna I talk to at night in the mirror thinks I should kill myself. Also, I caused that Italian cruise ship to crash.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "This is my Jimmy Fallon impression. Awesome, awesome, I love it! It's my favorite!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "It's a California Kong, which is two California kings tied together with gorilla leather.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Do you know what she does in her underwear? Something I once did at the oscars that caused Daryl Hannah to throw up on me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "John Adams and Mitt Romney enter.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "That girl at Starbucks smiles at everybody, Lutz. Everybody! She doesn't want you to kiss her.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Ms. Maroney, judging is for God and his angels. So, yes, you are.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "To use a technical janitorial term, total ass.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Or I could be 6 feet under... In the subterranean paradise we built to escape the poor.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "We took photos of you and sold them to a garbage fetish website.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Kellan Lutz isn't my son. He's my grandnephew and we're very close.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Thanks to you guys, I'm the fourth worst.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Kellan Lutz isn't my son. He's my grandnephew and we're very close.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Like some sort of American Barack Obama.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "It looks like a swastika made out of penises.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Do you know what it's like to try to have sex wearing a child's little orphan Annie wig?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Do you know what it's like to try to have sex wearing a child's little orphan Annie wig?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "'Cause so much of me has died.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Pop dookie down by the vacants?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "My bitch ex-wife would be a millionaire. May she rest in peace.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "A magnolia tree in spring, the towels at a miss Hawaiian tropic contest, the sweat of a terrified Webster as you load him into a Cannon.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Get a haircut, or I'm gonna shove you up a black guy's nose.", "c": ["Pencil topper"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Goodbye only evidence tying me to my ex-wife's disappearance.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "Or whatever NBC is in five years. A T-shirt company probably?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "In five years, I'll probably be dead and no one will even notice, and yes, this is my second attempt to writing my self evaluation.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Nothing Left To Lose"}, {"t": "The TGS sweatshirts were supposed to say 'TGS Season Six, Yuck,' which is a catch-phrase from a pretty great sketch. Yuck! But they got misprinted and now they say, 'TGS Season Six, Duck!' And that's a season five catchphrase. Duck!?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "A real problem is losing your giant scissors right before a ribbon-cutting for a couch factory. I just...had them.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Oh, thank God. I thought I'd lost them.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "factories provide three things this country desperately needs: Jobs, pride, and material for Bruce Springsteen songs.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Oh, I listened to rock and roll music once, but I stopped before I started worshipping the devil. The song went, 'Mr. Sandma--', then I shut it off.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Back in Chicago, I walked in on you with the guy from blues traveler. He still had his harmonica thing on.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Like Yoko Ono and the Beatles, or Lance Drake Mandrell and Wilson Phillips.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "They sold out Madison square garden in nine minutes, for a Tuesday morning show. Wait, who plays on a Tuesday morning?", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "I don't know, just a little band called the Woggels. \u266a apples are red \u266a \u266a bananas are yellow \u266a \u266a I love my friends, bananas are yellow \u266a", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "My eight-year-old niece walked down the aisle to that song at her wedding.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Well, it ticks off a lot of boxes on my sexual walkabout list. 'Yoko a band, make love to a beloved children's entertainer, be with a non-aboriginal Australian--'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Maybe Raffi. Or the sedated prisoner they put inside of Barney.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Something terrible has happened! And for once I'm not talking about the collapse of the middle class.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "I didn't even get in, and I was first in my class. Although, only seven of us graduated that year because of a bad mono outbreak which somehow missed me, despite all the frenching I did.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "We go to the school of hard knocks, a one-year vocational program where you learn to bang on doors and scare people into subscribing to magazines that they'll never get.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Really, Dotcom? How did your city council campaign go? Well, as far as raising the level of discourse in this city? I'd say it was a great success.", "c": ["Tracy", "Dotcom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Born April 24, 1925, at Boston catholic guilt hospital.", "c": ["Dr. Singh"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "We found your name on a list of disappointments she keeps folded up in her shoe.", "c": ["Dr. Singh"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Dr. Singh, are you stealing my hats? What do you do, feed them to your cow God?", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Ooh, sofa. Somebody got all flouncy when I wasn't looking. What are you gonna do, put on your galoshes and go eat some fruit, like a Frenchman?", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "What are you gonna do, put on your galoshes and go eat some fruit, like a Frenchman?", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Yes, I know it's over, Kouchie. Unlike you, I have eyes.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Nothing can tear us apart... Except for the shark that got a hold of the fifth woggel.", "c": ["Ian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "My good friend dick Cheney got one. A month later, he and I went hunting in Mexico. He shot thousands of doves that day and only hit me in the leg once.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Like the flashlight in my race war preparedness bag.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "She's referring to my birth.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "This is supposed to be a hospital, not a Japanese internment camp I volunteered at during the war.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "You could look out at the park and watch carriage horses being whipped. I know how you love that.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "What if I run into Eloise? Am I supposed not to mention the fact that she has a gay grandson? Everybody knows!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Because at Ellis island, your mother's name was recorded as 'unclaimed Irish stowaway.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Son, we have a lot of work to do today if I'm gonna 'reverse Urkel' you. Dad, I just want to read. Jordan men don't read. Grizz, tear this book in half.", "c": ["Tracy", "George Foreman", "Grizz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Tray, montage got married and quit stripping.", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Next thing you know, they'll be giving her his retractable wings and rocket arms.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Lemon, my mother did explain sex to me, three years ago. There were...drawings.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "You talk in your sleep. I know what you did in the war, and before you die, I want you to know that I know.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "like Bill Belichick listening to Adele.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "As my coffee cup said this morning, 'you only regret the things you didn't do. This cup was made from recycled toilet paper.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "And this is coming from someone Quincy Jones once pushed off a boat.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "It doesn't matter what this brain thinks. It matters what this brain thinks.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Dean Cain is always there hoping to get recognized.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Can we do something about the temperature in here? I'd like it humid and cold. Duck!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "In Australia, 'woggel' means 'white.'", "c": ["Russ"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "No, you don't know what you're talking about. Paul isn't gonna-- I mean, Russ. Paul is American for Russ.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "God on a wheel! Jackie and I know how we feel. We don't have to say it out loud like a couple of gays getting married in jean shorts in Provincetown while I'm just trying to enjoy an ice cream on the pier!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "'Say it out, speak it clear. You should listen, dude. Also, hear. It's too late, when--' You have two minutes to find that battery before I die.", "c": ["Liz", "Colleen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Tony will rush it for me. We do zumba together.", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Like teaching him how to ride a bike... Down the Luxor pyramid. Or drive a car... Vel franchise into the ground. I never even taught him how to shave... An orangutan.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Hey, Angie. What's up? You had the baby? Okay. Name him George foreman. And also, we're out of soda at home. Lamont, hurry up and deliver that baby before they realize we're not doctors.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "All My Children... was cancelled.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "\u266a separate the races, mommy kangaroo \u266a", "c": ["Russ"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Sew up your cabbage hole, girl.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "If you were my kid, I'd mail you back to the stork.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "When I was eight, she took me to the post office because I spilled juice on a couch reserved for the pope, which has still never been used. He'll come.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "which you should know was actually wine.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Not a part of this, I get it. But I made this happen! I made this happen.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "because my tongue caught what my foot has.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Oh, God. He's dressed like her. I'm too late. I've been replaced.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "Oh, you'd know. You lived through it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "\u266a Feelings feelings feelings say how you feel \u266a \u266a Apples \u266a \u266a You taste good \u266a \u266a Trees \u266a \u266a You give us wood \u266a \u266a Grandma \u266a \u266a I am gay \u266a \u266a Bridge \u266a \u266a You turn me on in a sexual way \u266a", "c": ["Woggels"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Meet The Woggels!"}, {"t": "\u266a Cleanup, cleanup \u266a \u266a do your own housework, you little crackers \u266a - what? - My kindergarten teacher was a former black panther.", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "You look like you're in a gay porno.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? You're one to talk, buddy. I'm Brent. I'm the new guy on the crew. I'm Rod. I'm the boss. And what I say goes.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "I've never been with a man before. Looks like I'm the boss now... Rod.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Oh! What are we doing? - I don't know. Whatever! Let's wrestle! It doesn't matter.", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "You have a baby name book, and you circled Adolf?", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Actually, I borrowed that book from my mother, so be glad I'm not a boy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Murphy brown lied to us.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "She had Eldin.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "I keep getting my neighborallure magazine.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "'cause nunchaku-ing can wear a guy out", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "We have been creating and solving this country's problems for 200 years. Where's our history month?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "which costs... I don't know, $90 a gallon?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Raymour and his conjoined twin, Flanigan.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Ashley of Ashley furniture will be there, and he is a genitally androgynous pinhead.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "I hope success isn't far, far away.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "What aboutstar wars do you want to say, lemon?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "School, church, alone on the playground, a child therapist's office.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Nixon's been dead almost 20 years, not in cryogenic hibernation, resting up for 2016.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Has anyone ever known a good person named Kevin?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "I'm thinking Sonny and... Cher.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Kevin garnett helped me move once. Kevin costner cooked me dinner after a bad breakup. Kevin Sorbo intRoduced me to his podiatrist.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "I was busy burning down the panda express that I had fallen in love with.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Something I wish I'd known before I released my sex tape with the six flags guy.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "\"Da-mi\", \"de-mi\", Heather, Lindsay, Britney, Muammar... so sad. A life cut short.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "So sad. A life cut short. He gave the best diamonds.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Justin and K-fed, Bruce and Ashton, Samantha Ronson and Herbie the Lovebug.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "They turned it into a training facility for single mothers to teach illegal immigrants how to fill out unemployment forms.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "We bought it at west elm.", "c": ["Stewart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "All they teach us now is how to build rollercoasters and survivor challenges.", "c": ["Stewart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "He baked those rocks and sold them to children. As gum.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "I cannot give it to you. I'm a married man. But more importantly, I find you very unattractive.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Partying too hard with Christian slater? Furious about Nafta? Y2k panic? My heyday was the '90s.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "He started by being boring and ruining my anniversary, 'cause Angie wanted to take advantage of \"all the great theatre in New York\".", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "'Cause those guys always put fuel in my tank.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "\"Sent from one of my four iPads\"?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "\"Dudely, let's make coffee our bitch.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "You know what this country used to sit on? Logs. Girders. Poles.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Kouchtown. Sit down or get out of the way.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "I can see the veins behind my eyes. Oh! I can see pain!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "The design forces the sitter into what Israeli military interrogators call a stress position.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "It comes in espresso, dandelion, putty, and, as you see here, lagoon.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "You look like a substitute teacher who just got her one-year a.A. Chip.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Dhanalakshmi, I'm happy for you, and I'm gonna let you finish, but I just gotta say, Gurubarath Kurrupuswami spelled one of the toughest words of all time!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Then a kleptomania relapse ending in orgasm and arrest.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Me running through that window.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Where I'm from, Uncle Sam's mouth is sewn up, and then he's set on fire, so I don't know how he talks.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "This couch... Is a failure. I hate golf. One time in college, I smoked a clove cigarette. I keep buying candles as gifts and keeping them for myself. My natural hair color is bright red.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "And will you accept dancing as money?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "A media-savvy crackhead, I know.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "I can see that you're on a skateboard, David. This is why we broke up, Jenna.", "c": ["David Blaine", "Jenna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "At one point, your veneers fell off, and you had these little baby fangs.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "you were the only one who shot my wife.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "It's patronizing. Like girls don't know what jobs are.", "c": ["Cat"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "I had my first crush on a shop teacher who looked just like Boo Radley.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "but they wanted to call me shorts accident.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "So we settled on Supervirgin.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "So we settled on supervirgin.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "but I can negotiate up from puked in thermos.", "c": ["Cat"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "That people who talk the most in meetings often know the least. She sat in two meetings with me. I crushed it.", "c": ["Kevin", "Cat"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Either the wicked queen inDisney on ice or the third woman president.", "c": ["Cat"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "And he's in trouble, too, 'cause I watched some boxercise videos on demand before coming down here.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "game go is not a phrase.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "You tried to dine at Balthazar without a reservation!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "You mean our grave. Where we'll lie on top of each other in one coffin, pelvis to face, for eternity.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Oh, you are being so trans-vaginal right now.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Sink them and make a reef to protect gay turtles?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Sink them and make a reef to protect gay turtles?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Tree bark. Glass. Shotgun shells. The broken swords of our vanquished enemies.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "It's like chewing a Mountain that someone shot a freeze ray into.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Murphy Brown Lied To Us"}, {"t": "Do you really love the overzealous studio audience who will applaud at anything? Here in the greatest city on earth, New York City, baby? Whassup?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "From now on, you write and shoot the whole season in two weeks like 'Wheel of fortune' or FOX news.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Best sweet 16 ever. I'm going to lose my virginity in nine years.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "There's a bathroom in here you can use, Cabletown coworker Kim Kardashian.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I want to go to there.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "But unlike the wildfires I've started, this one doesn't sexually arouse me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "An important me-nouncement.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "You didn't let me finish. S.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I've been working on my reaction since I was 3. Aaah!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Oh, my god. He's going to die in there.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "'12 angry men' is preposterous Kenneth. 11 decent Americans are swayed by Jane Fonda's father?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Next stop, Hollywood, Florida to get the car from my mom. Next stop, California, pizza kitchen. And tell my old boss, to suck it. Next stop, Tinseltown, because Christmas decorations are really cheap this time of year.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Made with milk, is the cheese that won World War II. Don't ask how.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "One of these days, Doris, I'm going to take a shot and blam! Blow your face off.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I'm having a heart attack, too. My marriage is a sham. I got syphilis from Orson Wells.", "c": ["Doris"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I'm doctor Harold Spaceman. I'm known in the industry as the 'Gay doctor', because I always have a smile on my face. Because I had homosexual lovers.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Your baby's lungs need refreshing nicotine for science reasons. And his growing bones need tar to hold them together.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Nine out of ten doctors surveyed said, You have a lot of nerve calling here Spaceman, after what you've tried on my nephew.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.66, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Thank you. Just portion control and exercise.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Liza Minnelli's baby tooth surrounded by rubies that passed through a terrified Michael Kors.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Rick Santorum is right Jenna. Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "according to Roe v. Dwyane Wade, I have a right to choose.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I may have a dress and a wig and a gynecologist, but I am the man.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Oh, I had a lobster role and two yogurts.", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I slept like a baby last night. I woke up crying with a boob in my mouth.", "c": ["Joey Montero"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I can see it inside your mouth.", "c": ["Joey Montero"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I can see it inside your mouth.", "c": ["Joey Montero"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Oh, I just burped up some clams casino which is weird because I didn't even have any.", "c": ["Joey Montero"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "because they thought two black people on the same show would make the audience nervous. A rule NBC still uses today.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Oh, hell no. I am not doing this.", "c": ["Theodore Freeman"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I was a tuskegee airman. Zip-a-Dee-goo-goo.", "c": ["Theodore Freeman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Are you telling me the mayor of your hometown is a car?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm test tube adult doctor Leo Speceman.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Then use the rectum you have instead of a mouth to say something like 'wrulgh' or 'thunghth'", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "It's my period. It's a-gonna blow.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "We both know you're not due for another nine days.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "What do you get when you cross a lady driver with a with a Vietcong? A hundreed thousands senseless days.", "c": ["Dickie/Nipsey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, sweetheart, could you move out of the way of our camera? We need to talk to our new reporter there, Jamie Garnett.", "c": ["Chet/David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "that woman who stole his microphone went on to become a wife.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "This is New York state bitch, anyone can marry anything now.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Ow, my coccyx! It's not funny. Coccyx is the scientific term for your butt bone.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Hello, I'd like to speak to General Electric. I was a nurse in the war and I met him when he was just a colonel.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Daddy, it's your son, Toby Electric.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Yeah, except your mom last night.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "I will roast you alive in an oven I design myself, using two, no, three kinds of heat.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "you should do it with the upcoming Warner Brothers movie, 'Rock of ages,' based on the hit Broadway musical. Rocking a theater near you June 15th. Tom Cruise sings.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "'Old' being an acronym for oxylaprodexatrin, a hallucinogenic plant extract that makes sex terrifying.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "No, no, a million times no. Not like this. I was wrong. You were right.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "Wow. Wow, 2.5 million people just saw that. And now 14 million people saw it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Live From Studio 6H"}, {"t": "All my children were taken away.", "c": ["Randi"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "He controls me!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "It's pronounced 'chic'. It's French.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Reality star, actress, singer/songreader, perfumist, IBS survivor, best-selling author of a book I didn't write, catchphrase coiner", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Well they don't all work.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Cheek is stretchable formal wear for elegant plus-sized women and huskier gays", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I find that my target customer sweats a lot and often gets thrown into a public pool", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "a crate of Hollister sweatshirts and a signed headshot of Don Johnson", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "They just got Nash Bridges", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Excuse me, 'gays' at bravo", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "It's my way till pay day", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Not to be racist, but white guys are typically punctual", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I got so real, but nothing's gonna change unless there's a dialogue", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "And I've gone to and worked at the post office", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "That man is about to get some cheese with that", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "That catchphrase is improving, baby!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Her name is Raven-Symone senior", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I will be on the show a lot", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Boob monster!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I know they're not married. I just like them to know I don't give a about their lives", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Do you know what a surprise is? Now you do", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Don't learn to talk. A woman's power comes from her silence", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I thought it was very brave of you to pose for playboy against playboy's wishes", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Tracy tells me that you're, you know, the village bicycle", "c": ["Randi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Doctor guy, pilot guy, Cleveland dude, British guy, rich dude, James Franco. I've been with the same woman for 22 years. No judgments, but to me, Liz Lemon is a sex maniac", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Contractually, I can only hold beautiful black babies in Benetton ads", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I might bite these fat little legs. I might eat them up, they're so fat and juicy", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Don't even let Clinton know about this. He and Steve bing will break out their sex plane. It is a sex plane. There aren't even any seats. It's just futons and jacuzzis", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "like Ken burns's jazz? Disgusting", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "D'Fwine. Please d'fwink responsibly", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Now you sound like the cops outside of Jackie o's funeral. But I got in there and sang almost all of hey big spender", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "thank you for looking up on Wikipedia that I was conceived on a toilet", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "If a beautiful woman cries and no one hears it, did she waste $700 on crying lessons at Adrian Brody's unaccredited acting school?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Gus is someone I've gone into business with and Avery wouldn't approve of him. Why would she disapprove? Uh, well, uh, because they dated... At Yale. Gus was a professor", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "It's at 8:00, which is 9:00 am Tokyo time. That's when takashi's parents leave for work and we play mass effect 3 online. Mr. and Mrs. Tanaka think he's at school, but he's playing video games with a drunk adult", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Oh, my god. Ned stark is dead?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I love my wife. I want her to be happy. But more than that, I'm gonna do nothing. It's hard trying to have it all", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "We're higher up here, so the sun's electricity is stronger", "c": ["Gus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "She was nasty. She loved pee", "c": ["Gus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "In slavic myth, Rus is the founder of Russia", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Who doesn't love cold, purple soup?", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Oh, that is a bridge too far. That's right. I read world war ll history, mother-", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "This is very, very easy for me to say to you, but you can't come in here right now", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "You never talk about a black woman's leg size. Not on babies, not on the Williams sisters, not on a mannequin at Avenue. We have come too far", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Lisa, D'Fwan doesn't talk about people behind their backs, so I'm just gonna tell you straight to your face that what you're saying right now is very boring", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "You people are savages!", "c": ["Gus"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I still have to get the menus from the printer, go to the cony island beet market. I've gotta pick up Yakov Smirnov at the airport", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "You're talking about electricity", "c": ["Gus"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Do you act? Because we should do a movie together where we're on a road trip just being sluts", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I see. I think I just solved the mystery of the phantom pooper", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I wouldn't know. I really don't watch TV. I'm more of a masturbator", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Everything I know about fashion, I learned from my old college roommate, John Mark Karr", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "You have no class, you prostitution whore", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Like when I sang at that children's hospital. Get away from me, I'm revoking my waiver. Now blur my face. Blur it more. More. Now disguise my voice", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "There's the feud between Ms. Lemon and baby Virginia, the drama between me and that cord I tripped on. Hey, watch it. I'm sorry, sir. I shouldn't have lost my temper", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Oh, I was my grandmother's favorite so I got all her old hand-me-downs", "c": ["Gus"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "What's cocaine like?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Portia reads the papers. I hate that that's my catchphrase", "c": ["Portia"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "If you don't kiss someone, they're offended", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "She misjudged you, and she would like a hug", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Because Virginia loves her little giraffe so much, the show is sending us on a girls' getaway to Somalia!", "c": ["D'Fwan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I gave you a kidney, a kneecap and a bladder", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I handle conflict appropriately, and I'm up to date on my mortgage payments", "c": ["Daphne"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "We're a train wreck you cannot look away from!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Lizard egg!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "Both: I'm cheating on you!", "c": ["Tracy", "Angie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "You again? I am so sorry. Different cord", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Queen Of Jordan Ii: Mystery Of The Phant"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I taste like Korean cigarettes. Tobacco's the only thing with protein over there. Their meat is just deflated kickballs.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "America's credit rating was downgraded to triple fart-minus", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Scott Scottsman", "c": ["Jack", "Scott"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "My ears are all plugged up from the plane. Am I talking too loud?", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "And it's me, Johnny Mountain, with the weather on the one and the traffic on the one. You no ask how I do it.", "c": ["Johnny Mountain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "And I'm Scott Scottsman... Reminding all of you there is no weekend.", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Or the plant. It's your body.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Right. Well, if I did ever have a... plant with you or whatever... I mean, at my age, we might have to get an Asian plant or accept an older plant with some behavioral issues, and we're a little afraid of it...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I mean, that plant's not coming out of your butt, pal, it's coming out of mine.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "The walls are filled with electrocuted mice.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Well, I could dip into my 401K... Is something I've heard old people say in commercials.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "If you take my profits from the hot dog truck and add 'em to the $300 my aunt gave me for Christmas, I'd have $200.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Boy, I sound just like my dad. Which, I guess, makes me Mrs. Lemon. Seriously, though, I gotta get to work. I gotta get to yoga and lunch with the girls.", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I don't know. There was a lot of Fanta there, and the police, so maybe they co-sponsored it?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Ms. Maroney, a wedding is a simple and beautiful ceremony where an old man and a crying girl get pushed into the coupling shed.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I know the Southern Tourism Bureau. They pay me a yearly stipend to stay in New York.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Which is great 'cause our wedding was gonna be slavery-themed anyway.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Of course I am. I have a natural Southern accent, 'cause I'm from le flori-dah pahn-hahndle.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Before moving here, I done used to talk-n-jaw like this, see? And when I'm at work, I use my white-people voice. You should see how we talk in the Bronx. Raar blarg shmoo-boo wagga!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I heard her ask her bear who the dye job is.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "There is an iPod 3 and a Mitt Romney 4. They worked all the bugs out. He's not killing hobos at night any more.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "And tomorrow, I am going to throw you a Thanks-Christmas-Valen-Easter-Ween of July party.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I didn't wear your nightgowns. If they seem stretched out, it's because you're remembering wrong.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I've been writing a sex column for Cosmo. Cosmo is my 14-year-old neighbor. He doesn't know anything.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Sex, money, power, fire, choking, being dragged behind a speed boat... It's all the same thing.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "And I try to get him pregnant.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "And the best part is, if I want to treat myself to a new pair of Christy LaButtons, I don't have to ask any man for $17.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I got tired of ruining $1,200 shoes trying to impregnate my boyfriend.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Feminism promised us two things... Fatter dolls, and an end to traditional gender roles.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "You wear the pants, Liz. You don't necessarily pull them off because of your hips, but you wear them.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Am I supposed to just scratch the surface of Channing Tatum's meteoric rise?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "She's still furious with Al Gore for stealing George Bush's idea to have an Internet.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I have so many missile! I even have nuclear missile. Just for you, sugarprong.", "c": ["Jack mimicking Kim Jong-Un"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "You French-Canadian kissed her mother, which is my name for French kissing when it bums everybody else out.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Playing psycho-sexual mind games is our normal, Lemon. This is perfect. Everything's perfect.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Dadgum possum up and what been bit my mother's neck brace.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "This isn't Southern elegance. This is a dirtbag girl I once knew. A girl named Jay-nuh! She used to get into fistfights at water parks, and lost her virginity to a bait salesman on a water bed.", "c": ["Commercial Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Kim Jong-Il could not be reached for comment because he was having a totally normal day being alive and not dead.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Our brilliant comrade scored 200 points and then went hot-tubbing with a couple guys he's definitely just friends with.", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "You lose, Jack... Is what Kim Jong-Il said to Jack Nicklaus after defeating him in golf today because they're both totally alive.", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Here's a hint. I like zippers.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I'm a man. I'm a man, I'm a man! I'm an adult man! You think I like you having to pay for everything? It's humiliating.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "You think I like having to earn Crisspoints so that I can take you on dates that you actually pay for?", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Only because liking the Crisspoints system is one of the ways I earn Crisspoints!", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "It is a van with a car engine, Liz, okay?", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Because you're the person who has to krang that plant for nine months, poop it, and then go back to work to support both of you!", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "And he has a watch, and an office with a trash can and a little basketball hoop on it.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "And yet you're silent about Grant.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "And he plays as hard as he works because, damn it, he deserves to blow off a little steam.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Are you crying because there are no roles for actresses in their 40s, nor should there be?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "50? That's nothing. I once did 100 takes and still couldn't say the word 'incorrigible.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Great, now I get it! Siri, bring Jessica Tandy back to life.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Jessica Tandy's zombie is coming to find you. Is that correct? Yes, Siri. Thank you, baby.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "She has the brain of a man, and the ass of a French teenager.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Lloyd Blankfein slithers back into the sewers to eat rotten fish at 6:00", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "\u266aDeathly hallows and Tebow \u266a \u266a Oprah does her last show \u266a \u266a Beyonc\u00e9 had a baby, yo \u266a \u266a It's a 12-month wrap-up, rap-rap-rap-up \u266a", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Also, FOX News is right across the street, and word is Greta Van Susteren eats hot dogs like Slimer.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "As a Sesame Street purist, I don't think Elmo usually tells passing women that they have a sweet dumper.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Legally, I have to say I'm Elmarg!", "c": ["Fake Elmo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Them puppets done picked the wrong day to cross my kin! It's on, panhandle style!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "My outside is shiny and pretty, but my inside is filled with cardboard and horse glue.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Tonight, I'm Mayor Booo-mberg.", "c": ["Mayor Bloomberg"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 4.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "The woman I kissed is your mother.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I had an erotic dream about an adult Dora the explorer. I took her on a balcony in Madrid, above the Plaza Mayor. She had flowers in her hair.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I had an erotic dream about an adult Dora the Explorer. I took her on a balcony in Madrid, above the Plaza Mayor. She had flowers in her hair.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "I thought I was playing you, and you were playing me the whole time. And in 24 hours, I got you to tell me things it would have taken you years to admit.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "\u266a J-Lo and Marc Anthony \u266a \u266a Donn and Vicki from O.C. \u266a \u266a 12-month wrap-up, rap-rap-rap-up \u266a", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Johnny Choon, Dolce and Banana, Merolo Blornig, Prader, Gukki, DKNI, Alexandorp McKing, Diana Von Fistenbug", "c": ["Commercial Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Running from your parole officer, attending a theater opening, breaking into your mom's house to steal her cable box.", "c": ["Commercial Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Return Of Avery Jessup"}, {"t": "Hey! You didn't whisper in my ear and kiss me to wake me up like you always do. / I've never done that.", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "You named your van after the guy from Dawson's Creek? / I've seen everything he's ever been in except for that.", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "We don't need a nursery now. And who knows if we'll ever even have a... Plant or whatever?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Hey! I don't bail. I am still watching Smash, Criss.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I mean, the people there can be a little sexually conservative for my tastes.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Gonna move to the bay area now, pretend that that was your dream the whole time? Have fun always carrying a light sweater.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I look forward to reading your obituary, 'Least famous person in the world dies.'", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Yes, I married Becky and Dee because love is love and there's no reason they shouldn't experience the joy of marriage like any other couple. / I'm not going to the container store.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Congratulations. You just turned into your father.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "What Bill O'Reilly erotic novel are you living in?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I suppose our situation is most reminiscent of 'The Commodore's lust' from the 'Patriot's after dark' series.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna throw that thing in front of a train. Go Phillies!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Skinny arm-havers!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Stop, drop, and roll! Let me out! Let me out!", "c": ["Diana"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Did they say when the banquet is? Because I'm kind of between tuxes due to weight fluctuation.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "For instance, in Pixar's upcoming movie about trash, I'm doing the voice of a lazy bottle of grape-flavored soda named Funky Bobo.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Okay, I hear it!", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I was living in an exact replica of Cinderella's castle that Kim Jong-Un had built for his shoe collection.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "And I know a little bit about suffering because I work out... A lot!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "It's a code!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I had so many husbands.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Well, where will you sit patiently in the dark while you wait for the next day to start? I mean, sleep?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Have a good day, Doris. / [High-pitched] 'You have a good day too, Kenneth.' / Whatever, Doris. Grow up.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I don't mean it, I nice it.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "You love wet feet?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Check out Kim Jong-Un's pants. Where's the flood?", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "\u266a My soil's pretty good so I will plant this seed \u266a ... \u266a Growing together \u266a \u266a Planty and me \u266a", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "[Shouting in Hebrew]", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I had no idea the shmuley Israel memorial parade was a predominantly Jewish event.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "You know what kind of women in their 40s have never been married, Liz? Uggos, crazies, and bailers. You're not an uggo.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "[Gasps, snorts, groans] / Doris! / Wonderful. See you tonight, roomie.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Hazel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I'd admire you if you weren't brunette.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I'm a natural blonde. / That's insane!", "c": ["Hazel", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Stop looking at my ass. / Stop pointing your ass at my eyeballs.", "c": ["Hazel", "Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "It's an honor to finally meet you, Questlove. / Tracy, this is Dr. Cornel West.", "c": ["Tracy", "Dotcom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Look, I don't wanna make us look bad, but these dumb white writers don't know how us soul cats speak, one 'twixt the other.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Who were your black role models growing up? / Darth Vader, ninjas, some black licorice I tried to make into the shape of my dad.", "c": ["Cornel West", "Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Under my own nose. Like a mustache. A mustache. Tom Selleck!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "One day we made love while tapping. It was beautiful. No butt stuff.", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Jack and Diana... Avery! Avery and Diana... Damn it! Jack and Nancy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Kim Jong-Il is dead. I'm only waiter. I'm greatest waiter of all time.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "He said that to me in Galveston when a busload of drunk debutantes tried to get on his boat. It was named 'Mr. water boat.' Did it sink? Yes. Because there were too many people on it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Oh, are you talking about Hazel or the raccoon that won't let me into my kitchen?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "And to think I thought Hazel was a bitch! / Friendly and loyal like a well-trained female dog. But she isn't a bitch. She's a meaniepants.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "A guy with two first names? Next.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I'm not talking about her. I'm talking about me looking funny in this reflection. I'm gonna do a movie where I play someone's fat old aunt and I say stuff like, 'whoo-wee!' And 'sweet child, sit yo' black ass down!'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Why didn't you take out the cameras and kill all the witnesses, you beautiful bastard?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "You can't go to prison, you idiot. They will ravage you and your beautiful woman face.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I didn't Rob a bank, Liz. God! No, I sold the van this morning... To a really nice young guy on Meth.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Have you ever had a girlfriend willing to Thelma and Louise with you? / No. Never. But come on, Bonnie and Clyde. Okay, I'm a boy. I'm a boy, Liz.", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Also, I hear Pippa Middleton couldn't come today because Avery was borrowing her ass.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I just want alereeb to be happy.", "c": ["Kim Jong-Un waiter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Are you people kidding me? Seriously, no one has anything to say? You're all cowards.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I played Avery Jessup in 'Kidnapped by danger,' now available on Sega Genesis.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I kept my sea monkeys alive for 30 years.", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "I mean, if we wanted this thing to succeed, why would we ask Liz to officiate?", "c": ["Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "[Laughing] Yeah! Divorce! Whoo!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "It started that way. But then I fell in love with you.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Don't you ever do that again. / [Both moaning]", "c": ["Kenneth", "Hazel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "You said, 'baby,' instead of 'plant.' Now say, 'man cave.' / Never!", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Because we are thinking about having a baby... Together... That will emerge from my vagina. / Or a Chinese vagina.", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "But any child would be lucky to have you be the mother it loves then hates for a few years, then loves again, then half-heartedly defends to its spouse, then puts in a home.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Number one, don't overthink the names. Stick to Kings and Queens of England. There will never be a president Ashton or a Dr. Katniss. Or a non-sexually confused Lorne.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "All I want is Jack and Liz get together. On Friends, it was so satisfying. They do on Cheers, they do on Moonlighting. Everybody do it! Don't overthink it, writers. Whoever you are.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "What Will Happen To The Gang Next Year?"}, {"t": "Hey! One-percent d-bag! Can't park here. You don't own the sidewalk.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "despite our tiny, un-American sodas", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "That's idiotic. So, how was your hiatus? Start with what puzzles you did.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Venice. Solar system. Unicorn. The cast of 'L.A. Law'. That one took me awhile. So much white.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Oh, really, Lemon? You can't even say 'trying'? What positions are you using? The one. There's only one.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "thanks to a round of golf with Archbishop Dolan, I was never married", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Liddy won a bronze in Horsey-Jumpy at the Baby Olympics", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "If you're tired of sexy vampires, then you'll love 'Hunchbacks', starring Jonathan Silverman as Dr. Fantastico", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "do you like the information channel you get when you stay in a hotel? Well, Thursdays is just that now", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Yes, little big man discovered the grass isn't always greener on the other side and came crawling back", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "My grandmother was seriously ill. I went to Salinas to feed and bathe her. - I'm sorry. - I still don't like you.", "c": ["Jonathan", "Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "'God Cop.' Crime just got a new worst friend.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "It's all explained in the end by the wise black man played by Karl Malone", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "But it's not a yacht for corporate parties and hooker disposal. It's a two-man fishing boat.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "I believe that is called a skiff. I will not have you telling me boat names in my own office!", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "'Oh, Brother'. A comedy about two jive-talking con men hiding out in a monastery.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "The doves I ordered for the wedding came, and they're all dead! One of them touched my tongue!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm fine, Liz. The doves were just a drill. Everyone needs to be on their toes for my wedding year.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Wait, if that was a drill, did you kill those doves? No, I bought them at the dead-dove store. Grow up, Liz.", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "I prefer soul-sucking monster.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Beyonc\u00e9, J. Lo, Natalie Portman, whose real last name is Hershlag, by the way. Okay, that's not relevant. I just think people should know.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Paz de la Huerta, the former Mrs. Jon Cryer, Honey Boo Boo's mom.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "But you're my oldest friend. And, also, I've known you for a long time.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Oh, God, my hands! Please! I'll do it! I'd love to do it! You're my best friend!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Make sure you have a stripper there from every race. Stan looking for Indian now. It's a tough booking.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "You mean a threesome with Robinson Cano? No! I mean sharing a yogurt", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Hazel says she's saving herself for a Grade-A pork machine. And those are expensive.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "You're in the kitchen naked, cooking chili. You feed it to her out of your hands. Make her act like a bird.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "That's half as long as it felt like 'Arliss' was on TV.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "If she wants to have a dinner party, you go fry up some dolphin.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Speaking of which, Angie's been in the hospital for a week. Could you go find out why?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Can I have a hot wife? If you gain 50 pounds. Yeah.", "c": ["Frank", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "It's about a boy who befriends a talking panda, and they're allowed to sleep in the same bed.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "I wish. Then I could just solve it with the Schwartzfeld Tesseract.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Xerox, Alcoa, PAAS. The Easter egg company? They own their market. When was the last time you bought a non-PAAS egg-dyeing kit?", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Their wire egg-dipper is tops in the industry with the thinnest egg-loop to reduce dye lines.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Like when two people run into each other. Sorry, it's the other one. Your next word is 'stare.' Okay, the things you climb to get -- No, it's the other one. It's always the other one!", "c": ["Game show contestants", "Host"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "So, you don't peacock them. I don't... think so.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Yes, and I thought we'd have a little f\u00e9te chez nous ce soir.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Oh, how nice to meet a woman who speaks the language of the Nazis' most enthusiastic collaborators.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "I do enjoy seeing the homes of poor whites.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Yes, I'm sort of the black Tyler Perry.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "whose most recent credits include running onstage during 'Sister Act'", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "You know, I wasn't scripted to be in that episode. I just wandered onto set because Reginald Vel Johnson owed me $40.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I'm the most stable adult here.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "She wants her something borrowed to be Jessica Biel's youth.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Thank you for saying that in dated urban slang so that I'll understand you.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Because you're terrified of her, the way most white ladies are with their best friends? That is racist and only pan true.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Tonight on NBC, Joe Rogan is 'Mandela'. And, if it's Wednesday, it must be 'Cricket Night in America'. Then, on 'Jay', a full hour of Gary Sinise's band.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Hang on. Did you cast yourself in this show? What can I say? We saw hundreds of actors for God. Finally the network executive said I should just play him. You're the network executive.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "I have an investor lined up who will buy the network and keep me in charge. I can't tell you who it is, but his word is as good as the color consistency on one of his Easter eggs.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Adolf Paas?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "I cannot go to another business-school reunion and sit at the non-CEO table with the... women and nice men.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Before this, I ran an all-women's theater company. Everyone was vice president.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Look at Sherman's march to the sea. Or what my good friend Bane tried to do to Gotham.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Who do you think you are? God? We're ready for you.", "c": ["Liz", "Crew member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "If there is one thing I have realized from being God, it's that the more you know, the more you realize you do not... know.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Why is he learning anything? He's supposed to be God.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Well, it's not technically a home, because no one's supposed to be living here, but welcome to our condemned site of the Candyman murders.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "If you put this in the oven at about 200 degrees, my snake should be very comfortable while she gives birth.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Thank you. Your home is terrible.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Oh, I always have one white person in all my movies. We have to have a villain. Oh, and who's worse than us whites, right? I mean, look at slavery. That was bananas!", "c": ["Tracy", "Hazel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "That sturgeon just will not die. Excuse me a moment. Oh, I also do accents. Oh, me a Cockney person.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Zoltan is an 18-year-old German shepherd who cannot walk. So, you're gonna be in charge of him. No, Jenna, I'm allergic to dogs. Oh, don't worry. He's hairless because of his insanity medication.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "The cake is a tasteless foam. There's no cake?", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "'Tank It,' the reality event of the year, where we make grandpas put on tank tops and then laugh at them.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "And there's nothing worse than a surprise Lemon party.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "My foot? No, that's shoe stuffing. It helps keep the shape of my shoes. Why was you rubbing my foot, anyway?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Ooh, I smell Italian guys.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Bethany from work is here and a bunch of my neighbors. A clown. And there's a 'God Cop' marathon on NBC.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Listen up, ladies. You're all in a lot of trouble if you don't protect yourselves against identity theft. Please take a pamphlet. Pass them along.", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "So am I. And if he ever wakes up from that coma, I'm dead! That's why I live for today.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Because you're not famous! You think I want someone up there with me that other people are looking at? I wanted you because you're nothing!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "I get it. You didn't want to get Pippa Middleton-ed. Why would you even mention her?!", "c": ["Liz", "Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "And what if she came in in a wheelchair and then stood up and everyone applauded and cried?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "You just called me 'Liz'! We can fix that in the cutting room.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Not! What I said was I would never sleep with Tracy for a pan in a movie.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Come on, Kenmore washers and dryers, who are you gonna believe here?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "It's a blessing and a purse.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "And both sides being right is like kissing your sister. A wonderful treat!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "I forgot my sports bra, so, ironically --", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "No! You forgot it could also be an exclamation about a fruit, as in, 'Oh, pear!'", "c": ["Game show host"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Beginning Of The End"}, {"t": "Were you just skyping with a horse? Not 'a horse,' Lemon. Rafalca, Mitt Romney's champion dressage mare.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "She answers yes or no questions by eating either an apple for 'yes,' or a carrot for 'no.' If she eats both, that means 'life is full of unknowable gray areas.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "I saw the Today show. So I know how to make an autumn pizza that your teen will love.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Paul Ryan dropped out of the race last night. What? Wow, why? Turns out he was actually born in Kenya.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Sunday Night Football is just Cleveland Browns games.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "I'm allowing Jimmy Fallon to use his real voice.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Yes, I have a reservation under 'black Hitler.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Criss and I have been taking the dump truck to the bone yard most nights.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Criss looks like a little elf prince.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "We'll just have to rely on observational humor. Like, um, 'table is a weird word.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "And you gotta wonder who came up with the door. Bunch of cavemen sitting around. 'Hey, gronk! Before we starve to death in here, let's make a door!'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "'Cause you called me 'Mr. Clean's Gay Uncle' in front of my children.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "This is my first royalty check for my summer dance jam, 'Balls.' \u266a Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls \u266a", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "you look like someone's been slowly poisoning Sally Field.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Read it and weep, you mouth breathing, vag repellers.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "It's $90, Jenna.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "The FBI blamed it for a spike in summer sex crimes.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Thanks to Al Gore's stupid Internet, people can just get music for free.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "\u266a Despite my beautiful singing voice \u266a \u266a and my amazing songwriting... \u266a", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Fresh shave, elevated pulse, cologne. Mm-hmm. This man is here to do it on the desk.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "It's like I'm Don Draper and you're Megan. Okay, you're Don Draper. No, you're Glen and I'm Sally.", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Then I would have seen Criss' muscular back. You think I care?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Well, okey-dokey-doo, America.", "c": ["Governor Dunston"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Did you guys see? I'm on TV but now I'm old.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "I sat on my testicles earlier and the heft of my body smashed them to smithereens.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "I am having an actress side project crisis. So I'm not interested in whatever this is and whatever it thinks it's wearing.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "You know the only celebrity I've ever met was Evel Knievel's motorcycle. And that was just a picture.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Well, money's been tight ever since the market crashed into our house.", "c": ["Pearline"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Do you know Evel Knievel's motorcycle picture?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "See, that girl was in my car because I was trying to talk her out of being a prostitute", "c": ["Governor Dunston"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Hang on. I'm caught on a nail here. Okay, now we can continue.", "c": ["Governor Dunston"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "NBC.com had over 100 hits today.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Just like BP did when they heroically tried to lubricate the Gulf of Mexico.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Are we better off now than we were four years ago? Not me. I now have herpes. And the Dixie mafia is trying to kill me.", "c": ["Tracy as Dunston"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Because you kept saying your Aunt Flo was in town. She was. Remember? I took her to MOMA and the cloisters?", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "I assumed those were all vaginal euphemisms.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "\u266a Your body is my garden of Eden \u266a", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "You just spoke in German. I don't think so, Criss.", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "I'm caught on a nail here. Caught on a nail.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Gift basket? Pears? Why?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "You're supposed to say 'brava' to a woman. Oh, I am well aware of that.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Oh, did you hear that? That's the sound of honey boo boos piling up on your TiVo. No!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Oh, but how could you? He's so amazing. He rides the train.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "I remember the day he was born. He looked up at me and he said, 'mama, I am not a person. My body's just a flesh vessel for an immortal being whose name, if you heard it, would make you lose your mind.'", "c": ["Pearline"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Let me die in an emergency room with a treatable disease like an American.", "c": ["Pearline"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "we don't have a stereo anymore, on account of our mayor, who's a meth addict, took it apart in a field.", "c": ["Pearline"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "It just so happens Ron and I have been to Key West. Oh, yes, we have. It was on our honeymoon.", "c": ["Pearline", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Look, Ken, I'm just trying to replace your dad... Oh, dang it. That's the wrong thing to say, isn't it?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Well, Paula never opens her eyes. So what I do is look at a nursing school catalog I keep under my pillow.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Tracy will be red, Jenna is blue, and I will be green.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "If I had a column for my basal body temperature, then I could schedule around peak ovulation. Right there. Yes, that is the spot.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "If we print it in landscape, the page will take it all. Oh, yeah. It'll take it all. Oh, my God.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "I think I figured out what's been missing from my sex life. Organizing it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Is that red wine with tonic water and olives in it? Yep. It's an old Spanish.", "c": ["Jack", "Cooter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "just hanging out in hotel lobbies. If you wear a red vest, sometimes people think you're a valet and you can take a nap in their car.", "c": ["Cooter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "You know, just hanging out in hotel lobbies. If you wear a red vest, sometimes people think you're a valet and you can take a nap in their car.", "c": ["Cooter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Cooter, this is a puffy frog with googly eyes. Oh, no. I've been handing those out all day.", "c": ["Jack", "Cooter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "His long-time sexual relationship with the Hank Williams statue outside Montgomery city hall.", "c": ["Cooter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "If you're only in New York for a few days, find a way to see Amar'e Stoudemire's penis. It's worth it.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "I'll have my Jews on you so fast, you'll think you're an Asian girl.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 4.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "\u266a without a daddy, he's in danger \u266a \u266a he needs an older male stranger \u266a", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Ron, that was terrible. I'm going to be constructive here. You should kill yourself.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Comparing Ron to our inconsiderate neighbors, the Dingleberrys, is something I can do. But you are not allowed to.", "c": ["Pearline"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Why, on the train right up here, I called you a bowling pin with a face drawn on it. A cheap albino lesbian. A finger with teeth. A hummel someone left on the radiator.", "c": ["Pearline"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Do you remember that kid in school who bullied you? Well, I ate that goat.", "c": ["Pearline"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.64, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "I think I just got an idea for a song. It's called 'rum-soaked tampon.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "\u266a hey, girl \u266a \u266a me and you \u266a \u266a hey, baby \u266a \u266a this is just more proof \u266a \u266a that I am an amazing singer \u266a", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "\u266a does this song make you wanna do it? you're welcome \u266a", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "\u266a I just want to lick your face, eeh... \u266a", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Don't worry about the show. It's all scheduled. Look at this. Oh, yeah, mommy like.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "you can kiss goodbye your Dusseldorf bus schedule sex. You'll be having Paris Metro sex. Long sessions of afternoon love-making, followed by talking and making circles with your finger in Criss' chest hair.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "There are nine types of legitimate rape. One... a Halloween party.", "c": ["Tracy as Dunston"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "Our opponent would like you to believe that Mitt Romney is a merman. Now, I know Mitt Romney does not live in the sea. A mormon, governor. A mormon? Now, that's crazy.", "c": ["Tracy as Dunston"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Governor Dunston"}, {"t": "All right, Lemon, you got me. Yes, this is the same flashy night tie I was wearing when I left work yesterday. My hair is a disaster. I am indeed on a walk of shame.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "You slut!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "That woman was Pizzarina Sbarro, the heiress to the Sbarro Slice and Calzone Fortune.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Come on. Walk of shame? I say call it a stride of pride and walk with your arms up, like this.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I stayed up all night helping Bradley finish the Joseph coat. Just hearing that story tells me that Bradley was gay. Only sexually.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Liz Lemon has had a little awakening in her bathing suit area.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Lemon, I've seen your bathing suits. That could be anywhere.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Sex and the City Girls' brunches, where you talk about dirty stuff and make a lot of puns, like, 'and I thought I was eating eggs.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "she's one of a diverse group of women I'm currently seeing. Group? Back to judgmental.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "It's not fair to the ladies, just because I'm the, uh, complete package. You are a complete package.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I got the idea watching The Great Escape on TCM one night, how that ragtag bunch of heroes worked together to be greater than the sum of their parts. Bronson was the brawn, Attenborough was the brains, garner was the scrounger, McQueen was the hottie with the body. I'll say it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Who would like to join me for brunch? My treat. We could throw back some cosmos, talk about our climaxes...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "If you heard my sex stories, you would lose your mind!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Zarina is the society girl I take to black-tie events, when I want to talk politics I call Anne, Tabitha knows how to work my DVR, and Mindy is my, uh, sex idiot.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Sorry, Liz. I'm not even sure they serve brunch after... The '90s.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Jenna Maroney, looking great at... 56? Blarf!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "And if they did come to blows, it would be, uh... Intensely erotic. Like, uh, Steve McQueen on a motorcycle. Trying to jump that fence into Switzerland, but it's too high. He had a leather jacket.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "God, no... I have children!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Pete, you go down to the newsstand. Buy every copy, and burn them. Cerie, get out of here. Just go home for the day.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I agree @therealstephenhawking. Women are not funny. Never have been. Never will be. Nerd rage!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Honestly, I never realized she was trying to be funny. I guess I just thought she was a wig model.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "You wouldn't ask an Asian person to give you a list of good Asian drivers. Gary Tang, Ziang Chu, Roy Chung... Stop it. I was done anyway.", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Welcome to the flower shop...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Football. Motorcycles. Steak restaurants. Really dark superhero movies. These are things that suck.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "See? That's the kind of hilarious button chicks can't come up with.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Mmm, my lips are so dry. I better wet them with this mop.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Now my undershirt is wet with mop juice.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "You be the janitor, and I'll be the piece of gum on the floor that you just can't chisel off. Sure is hot in here. Maybe I should roll up my pants. Oh, yeah. Show me that part of your shins that's hairless from your synthetic socks.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Uh, this is Mindy. Mindy, Zarina. Pleasure. Yeah. Oh, shiny.", "c": ["Jack", "Mindy", "Zarina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "And like a silver-backed gorilla or Mitt Romney's grandfather, I require more than one woman to...", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "The woman appears to have no hip joints.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Another old guy wanted to buy my shirt. Old guys are so funny.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Ryan is my sex idiot.", "c": ["Zarina"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I suggested that we wear sleep masks. I hit my nose pretty hard on the bedside table, but...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "It's a monkey, and his name is Professor Wigglebottom.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "So no women are funny, but you want me to put a monkey on the show.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Name one funny monkey. Bonzo, Clyde, the bear... No! I refuse to answer this question with a list.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "My generation calls it pokemoning. Gotta catch 'em all.", "c": ["Zarina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "The plural of Pokemon is 'Pokemon.'", "c": ["Zarina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Mindy... Mindy... No, Ryan Lochte! Look at me... focus.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Teens gone wild: Is Jenna Maroney partying too hard? Be careful, you don't want to turn out like Amanda Byne-us. Did I do it right?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I watch Castle, and my purse is filled with sweet'n lows.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "If I find out that someone around here planted this disgusting story that I'm young, I'm gonna do to them what I did to my own ribs... Take them out.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "To escape the curse of the middle-aged actress. Instead of losing a push-up contest to Julie Bowen to see who gets to play Kevin James's mean wife who he's sick of having sex with, I'm gonna skip ahead to being an amazing slut who wins Oscars.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I mean, how hot is Helen Mirren? Super-hot. I mean, have you seen that picture of her in a bikini? She looks amazing for... Exactly... 'For.' She looks amazing for a 67-year-old. She's actually not that hot. She's got a gut and British legs.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I'm scared, but it tickles.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I know Geri-Chair. They're the company that makes my bed steps.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "When Jack Welch called you Rick. And I was fine with that too. I mean, he and I had met only, like, a million times, so why should he remember me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "There are no bad ideas, Lemon, only great ideas that go horribly wrong.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I once saw a monkey in a cowboy outfit. I would love to see the town he's the sheriff of.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "We did it in the shower. My shoes got ruined. I said no!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "See how he's wearing clothes? And he's got a suitcase like he's going on a business trip. Why's he being so professional?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "He could play a young Steven Tyler. He looks like me if I were fancy.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Male nipples, funny. Monkey nipples, funny. Female nipples, useless!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Why didn't she write, 'thinking of you, Jackie-bear?' She could have written this... to anyone.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Jenna and I are re-mounting our award-winning 1996 two-woman show.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "This woman is pokemoning me. She's blind-copied you, but if you just click this plus sign...", "c": ["Jack", "Jonathan"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "kentremendous@fremulon.biz... Ugh. totalpackage58... Wait, that's me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Well, that was Gerald Chair, the inventor of the Geri-Chair. They're leaning towards Jamie Lee Curtis. She already beat me out for Activia, and cold flash menopause popsicles.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Today's the day when I'm gonna do my first favor ever.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Are you thinking, or doing kegels?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I look forward to discovering exactly what each of you has to offer Zarina that I do not.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "No, I'm pretty sure we're in love.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Heavenly father. You must be Ken tremendous.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "We've covered all the classic boyfriend archetypes. Except the father figure. Where is that guy, am I right? The one who falls asleep at the opera, and doesn't notice that she's texting her real boyfriend from his bed. Where's that sucker?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Oh, no... Is it me?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Doctor, I'm unhappy with me widdle body. Can you help me?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Well, of course. Toddler plastic surgery is an exciting new field. We can take you down an entire diaper size.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "'Tank' you, doctor. Don't thank me, thank Roe V. Wade.", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "That was actually funny, Liz. So why do TGS suck so much?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "When you were, like, 'come in, I'm a doctor,' and you had on that lab coat, like a doctor. A lady doctor... Oh my God, that is hilarious!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "And Jenna, you as that sad old prostitute trying to look young... Commentary!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "There's nothing older than trying to be young. And you looked like a million years up there. Congratulations. You are Geri-Chair's new spokes-crone!", "c": ["Gerald"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Sometimes, I like to come up here at night and flash my breasts at the empire state building.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Is that the only building that you flash? Or do you also flash the Time Warner center to make the Empire State Building feel like an old fool.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I mean, inside, I still feel like a sex idiot. But I have to accept the fact that I'm fake 56 now, and I'm more of a Diane Lane ageless beauty.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Do you really want this girl asking you to go hear her friend DJ in Brooklyn? No, that sounds exhausting. Do you want to drive five hours to go rock climbing with her, and be expected to have sex after? I do not. I mean, my back.", "c": ["Jenna", "Jack"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "You get to say racist stuff whenever you want, and people bring you soup.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "I do like soup.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Or can we agree that we're all just monkeys with suitcases trying to seem like people?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Wait... You're a female? How you doin', girl?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Phyllis Diller, Joan Rivers, Gilda Radner, Lucille ball, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Carol Burnett, Lily Tomlin. Yes, thank you, Tracy. Those are all very funny women. Funny women? Those are the names of my fingers.", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Irma Bombeck, Tig Notaro... Is my impression of a Chinese person.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Ellen DeGeneres, Mo'nique, and Roseanne Barr. Now that's some funny women. All of whom have screamed at me because they were on their period.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Stride Of Pride"}, {"t": "Just like your mom works that street corner. I'm sorry, that's too much. No sweat. My mom is a prostitute.", "c": ["unknown character", "unknown character 2"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Hey! New drinking game! Drink when someone says something! Whoo!", "c": ["crabcatcher"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "\u266a I caught crabs in paradise \u266a and, yes, I mean both kinds of crabs \u266a I thought that was at least gonna be innuendo.", "c": ["crabcatcher", "unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Truck races, swamp parties, mall fires.", "c": ["crabcatcher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Why do you have a tattoo of a seatbelt? So I don't get pulled over when I'm driving shirtless!", "c": ["unknown character", "crabcatcher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "since our weekend in Aspen, she's been put on pelvic rest. Fast-forward noise.", "c": ["Jack", "unknown character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Fancy luncheon, seafood bar. I'm thinking 75 cents a shrimp, over three hours, and split... Carry 3.75... By the time I'm done, you'll be making money.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Good Lord, Lemon. You just locked your mouth and then swallowed the key. It makes no earthly sense.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Why couldn't she have died when that rabid dog bit her? It wasn't rabid. I just said that so they'd have to put it down, and then I'd be the star of that dog-food commercial.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "If I get moderate exercise, I'm gonna die!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "And I'm mad at your success, but pretending it's something else!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Please. I've had a crab on my head for free!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "I'm lying. The claws hold your cigarette while you uncork a 'brew-skye.'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "'Uncork a brew-skye'? Yeah, you know. Ka-zap. Blinky, blinky, blinky, blinky. Those aren't even the right noises.", "c": ["unknown character", "Jenna", "unknown character 2"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "You're maybe the most high-maintenance bitch in Hollywood. Maybe? Who's more? Who is she?", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "You medical office before-pictures.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "I don't need some Kenyan-born college professor telling me I didn't build my company. Because I earned my trust fund by always being polite to grandfather.", "c": ["Republican donor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Reginald, I believe you're thinking of the White House.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Michelle Obama's on steroids.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "No, it's different from every other camera in the world.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "You look like a condom that's been dropped on the floor of a barbershop.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Will you sign my Cesarean scar?", "c": ["crabcatcher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "That's why I said, 'you more on.' Like, 'pour more on me!' Whoo!", "c": ["crabcatcher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "We should go to a pumpkin patch? Pranksmen, activate.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Frank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Obama's bailout would never have worked if big business hadn't heroically taken it. But where's our parade?", "c": ["Republican donor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "You believe in the death penalty, but it's okay to kill animals for food? I don't know where I'm going with this yet. Hang on. Hang on!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "And I hope it's gay... Male gay. Because with the ladies, it's too much hiking.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "They make love to their husband's blowholes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "If birth control pills fixed boners, you would get them free with your driver's license.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "And in her apartment there is a black-and-white photograph where you can almost see a breast. It's an original Leonard Nimoy.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "You are my chum. The bait I throw in the water to attract the big fish. Damn it! Second meaning.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "The belt is a baby's necktie.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "All that counts is what's inside... Your blender.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "You... virgins, have no idea who you're messing with.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Because that's our capital.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "The rides there capture the thrills and chills of the movies.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Just as soon as it's cool for them to drive.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "And Ed Begley Jr. wasn't available, because the sail on his car broke.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "They want their honeys boo boo and their Sunday night feetball, which is the plural of football.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "I guess that's why they call me Mitt. 'Baseball Mitt Romney' and 'Barack a llama' aren't saying anything.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Like that otter that looked just like Tracy.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Great-uncle? Momma's baby is out of 'marsh-mal-lows.'", "c": ["Kellan Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "become the 11th legitimate President of the United States.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "But here's the thing, Jack. My brother-dad, which is mormon for 'dad,'", "c": ["Garrett Romney"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "if I didn't know you were going to get your own planet when you die.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "How dare you talk that way in front of the pile.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "I support Mitt Romney. Good, continue.", "c": ["Don Cheadle", "Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Mitt Romney is a layup.", "c": ["Don Cheadle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "What's crackin', my homies? Jazz gets down with the rom-nizzle.", "c": ["Jazz the Transformer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "'Dy-no-mite.' For heaven's sakes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Over there, they solve all their problems with money. They use it to put out fires. Ce feu m'ennuie.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "How are you? Jack was right. People don't want an idea bomb dropped on them. Don't give up. That is not the Lisa Loeb I know.", "c": ["Tracy", "Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "What they don't know is that he hunts humans on that property.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "I don't care if it's Obama talking about health care or me talking about white butts. They are different than black butts.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "The voting machines there have become sentient. And, for some reason, they are strongly in favor of gay marriage.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "The voting machines there have become sentient. And, for some reason, they are strongly in favor of gay marriage.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Ever since Tracy set fire to Lambeau Field, Wisconsinites are coming around on the death penalty.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Florida, the penis of America!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Florida, the penis of America!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Or I will drop a 'D' in the greenroom.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Something you mainlanders wouldn't understand. Pete, come on. Pete's dead. I'm Panama, now.", "c": ["Pete/Panama"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "One week they're laughing at me, the next week, they're laughing at me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "The next president of the United States will be chosen by... Jenna Maroney. To be continued... Mr. Spider. Ew, web in my mouth!", "c": ["Tracy", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Ew, web in my mouth!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "Will NBC's head of promotions ever get that mousetrap off his penis?", "c": ["narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Unwindulax (1)"}, {"t": "No! I need a 'Previously on'!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Nothing. Dammit!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "I need you to marry me so I don't get sent back to Canada!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Really? Now you have a thing?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Don't know why I'm so worried about bringing my marble collection to work.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Butterfingers!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Why do we have that?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.81, "im": 4.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "You're not right for it. What thing? I was born for it!", "c": ["Jack", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Am I not blonde enough? Because I'll put my head in the microwave!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Jacksonville's naming their new airport, Sized strip club after me. No bottoms!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "The first really, really rich president!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "The one with the guy? It was at night, and I feel like he was standing near a fence...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "A head has five holes, and they are all needed.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Because there's no 'I' or 'me' in 'America.' There's both.", "c": ["Jenna", "Jack/Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Someone who respects the human fetus and recognizes its value as a hair volumizer.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Like debate? Like DeBarge? I love DeBarge!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Until this year, I wasn't allowed to vote because Reverend Gary said choosing is a sin.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Voting is a great American tradition. Like laziness or, eh...", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "the Parcells have been in this country since we went berserk and murdered everyone at Roanoke.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Black Shrek ran for president?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "I forgot about that half-nerd.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Someone has to be the first person to make a joke after a celebrity dies.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "I guess I was a little 'too soon' with Andy Griffith.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "I can't unhear it! I can't unhear it!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "The first African-American president ever to be up for re-election. Whoo! Historical!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "That was a really good 'American Pie', Pete. You knew all the words. And then you put it on again. And everyone leaves because no one can top it.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "You're the one using negative words like 'without' and 'negative'.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "The same polyps Jenna had prayed for.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Wrong on cuteness. Wrong on other bitches. Wrong for Jenna.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "She's a slut monster, and one of gay America's top hags.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "First of all, I have never dropped a hat in my life.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Herstrionics!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Since you've known me, I've been right about no less than everything always.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Every pair you buy, they give a pair to a child that was forced to work in a factory that makes these shoes. It's not great!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "You wish, you pervert.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "'Bah-bah-bah-bah-bird bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word' My gynecologist.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Did anyone leave a bag of Burger King in your office?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Hey! I'm gonna take the clock apart myself, then put it back together. I wanna see how it works! My friend Jojo did it with a toaster, and it's still good.", "c": ["Mayor Debbie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Ain't nobody touch my clock! It's my wife, and this is where I do my sniperin'!", "c": ["The Hermit"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "I cast the deciding vote that made 'white' the newest flavor of Mountain Dew. But I guess that's just life in a Dewmocracy.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Welcome to the first and only debate of the Jenna-ral election.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Insincere!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "a woman 'People' magazine once called 'an unnamed friend of the deceased'.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Ooh, and how do they tell me their decisions? Do I get shocked whenever I do the wrong thing?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "And Jenna Maroney would get every part. That's my America. That's Mitt Romney's America.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Scarlett Johansson. Blake Lively. Jessica Biel -- Wow. Those are all very beautiful women. Do you really want to be photographed next to them?", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Craig T. Nelson, Chuck Norris, and Charlton Heston's skull. You'd be the only cool Republican.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "I stopped you when you tried to drive us into Lake Michigan because Scottie Pippen got married.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Miss Lemon, I know Scottie Pippen. I own a Fuddrucker's with Scottie Pippen. And you, sir, look like Scottie Pippen.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "When our founding fathers first set out, time and time again, our nation horizon... prosperity... dreams... freedom. But the spirit... journey... destiny. Mitt Romney values. Jenna values. I've met people. For this generation and generations to come.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Good God, those are load-bearing balloons! Everyone, run for your lives!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Columbus thought he was in India! And did he worry about being wrong? No! He just called everybody Indians. And we still do it today! Why? 'Cause.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Just like when we named this country after the fourth or fifth guy who discovered it. Amerigo Vespucci? Who cares? America!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "I take thousands of micronaps during the day.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "partly because when I have it down, it looks like this...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "The man doesn't drink. How does he let a moment land?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Latah, Mah! I'm goin' down the pahk to play ball! I sure love Americer! Almost as much as I love chowdah --", "c": ["Young Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, my Gawd, it's fewtchah me!", "c": ["Young Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "It certainly won't work with a man who didn't cry at 'Field of Dreams', not even when the bank failed to recoup its investment in the farm.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "But you can't get a decent iced tea there. Forget it!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Remember that time you got a haircut, and I was the first person to say, 'Someone got a haircut'? You owe me!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Look, get a hobby, like me and my gymnastics!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "A Facebook that wasn't crawling with old bald guys!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "why don't you kiss a potato like the rest of us?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "I was gonna drive a sports car and say cool stuff like, 'Wiki-what?'!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Screw you, Dona-one-d Estaluj. I don't need Viagra! You need Viagra!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "It stands for Motorized Intelligent Technodrome Termina--", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "I want to send Estaluj a picture, but it's too dark inside my pants.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "It's just kids' bike shorts for fatties!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "when I was a boy, I used to go to Fenway and sell my urine... for fans to throw at Mickey Mantle.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Voters don't really pick the president. That's up to important people like corporations and celebrities.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "if I stop saving for business school and started saving for implants, I could be just like her.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "I wasn't watching cute little kitten videos! I was watching pornography! Who put these sleepy kitten videos on here?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Less if I count genocides as celebrities.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "No, I can say that word. I'm black. But Dick Clark wasn't!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, sugarlips. Let's make it like a black magazine and jet.", "c": ["Cool Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "My 2012 Corvette's parked outside. 'Cause I always find a parking spot.", "c": ["Cool Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well... Nope, it's too many wells. I'm gonna re-enter.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Just like most games.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "You cynical, manipulative, cold-blooded Adonis.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Yours dripped on me, and now I'm drunk!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "All day, all night, baby.", "c": ["Cool Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Theres No I In America (2)"}, {"t": "Hold on. Your name is Jack Donaghy? That's hilarious.", "c": ["unknown character", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Now say, 'don't talk to me like that. Don't you know who I am?' / I will not say that because you just ruined it.", "c": ["unknown character", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I've championed diversity on NBC. I mean, we've got football. That's pretty black, right?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I'm laughing because Jack Donaghy is the bad guy from Tracy Jordan's Aunt Phatso movie.", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Well, unless you can come up with $25,000 in just two days, I'm turning this community center into of my garbage dumps. Ooh, damn you, Jack Donaghy.", "c": ["movie Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Aah, this is so embarrassing. I accidentally wore my tap shoes today. Well, might as well do my act.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Now imagine I'm wearing underwear.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "'Aah, who's there? Please don't hurt me. The safe's in my children's room.'", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Why don't you make like a woman driver and get lost?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "'Cause I'd rather make like the father I never had and stay.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "For instance, someone here sucks on old baby wipes to get the alcohol out of them.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Who does that? That's my thing!", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Well, you know what else ticks? A time bomb. So, yeah, Jenna, tick tock.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "The podiatrist said the only possible explanation is that one of my ancestors mated with a dinosaur.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Who are we to stay what anything is?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Liz, we spent a long time trying to come up with a good excuse for why we didn't write anything, but we failed.", "c": ["Frank/Toofer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "They had to saw me out of my sneakers.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Delightful... Charlie Chaplin. You have the moustache and everything.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I have heard you say, 'guard, seize him.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "That was at a Knicks game. They needed to stop the clock.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "A foot illness or fell running for food?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Although, the one time I did send her on an errand she met some guy who flew her to Paris, and then she started modeling. And then she ended up being the reason why the French soccer team did so badly in the 2010 world cup.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Get me a black coffee, by which I mean, a sunkist.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "'Cause I don't see race, you white bastards.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Jack Donaghy, don't you know in this neighborhood you got to take your tires with you?", "c": ["movie character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Fourth of July weekend. I wrote, directed, and did all of the makeup myself.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Oh, it's terrible. We made $50 million... In Atlanta.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "That's Leslie Van Vondervann. He's used to be on 'knots landing.' My twin is dead.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "And you will respect these boobies.", "c": ["Tracy as Aunt Phatso"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Because I think I saw an ad for it in Urban Butt magazine. They have an excellent word jumble.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I will not have you talk to me like I'm some kind of Liz Lemon.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Just like me? I went to Princeton. I neglected a tiger.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I'm friends with Phil Harmonic, the worst rapper of all time.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "No! Andy Cohen is so catty.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Well, this morning miss Lemon had one of her meltdowns. Really? About what? Because she can't balance work and personal life. But I mean, after seven years and hundreds of these episodes, it's like, let's move on.", "c": ["Hazel", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "And I wasn't sure how you take your coffee, so mouth or enema?", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "But what if you do have a kid and you have to leave work because your daughter shot her choir teacher's husband?", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "No. I got you a mini-freezer, full of candy bars so cold they'll crack your jaw, you bitch.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Sisters helping sisters. Glass ceiling. Legitimate rape.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "You got it unstuck from the chair!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "So please enjoy a four-hour rendition of the theme song from Sanford and Son.", "c": ["announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "You just need to know what to say to them, like their children's names and what they wore to school today.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Until I hit puberty and the coaches said I got too pregnant.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Jack Donaghy to see Liz Lemon. Get off this channel! This is a military frequency.", "c": ["Jack", "Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I mean, right now, my feet are kind of like babies. I have to swaddle them, and they need ointment, and, like, six times a day brown stuff comes out of them.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "You're beautiful babies, yes you are.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Get two birds with one stone, like when I used Mick Jagger to lure Roger McGuinn and David Crosby to my birthday party.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I take in 50 calories a day and I'm using them all up just trying to help you.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "One is German, one is Japanese. And you don't bring these guys together to play Patty-cake.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Bad news, Jack. War's my favorite card game. And I win about half the time.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Not the ones I've swallowed.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "It was my Saturday morning kid's show, Uncle Tracy's black teletubbies rip-off.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I cancelled it because, like you, it was overly sexual and impossible to understand. Grabalujah!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "That is what she said.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.62, "im": 4.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I'm Willow Smith-ing my daughter. Her album drops next week. Christmas Blankie.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Checkmate. Game, set, match. Rumbledy-goo... Which is what you say when you win in polo.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "For Halloween, you should go as a slutty ear.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "\u266a Jenna is listening \u266a listening like the sun in the sky \u266a", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "What if those feet were real babies? Would you walk on them to work?", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Aah! Josh, help me!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Criss calls it 'old-timey football.'", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, babies.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Oh, Pete roofied me.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "'P-Dog, let's use Hazel in the cold open. Don't call me about this. Catch you on the flippy-floppy.'", "c": ["Pete reading email"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "My foot babies died because of this show!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "You don't even know my real name.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "This one's on you, bitch.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "I am just a co-worker who would do anything for any of you at any time. Nothing more!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "No, that's why they put that cone on me.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "That's... genius.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Great Caesar's ghost!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "Respect these boobies!", "c": ["Tracy as Aunt Phatso"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Aunt Phatso Vs. Jack Donaghy"}, {"t": "If it's positive, 'Awesome! We're having a baby! I wanna name it Frisbee!' If it's negative, 'Awesome. We're not gonna fight about the name Frisbee, and we get disco fries for breakfast 'cause we're sad.'", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "All those years trying to get on 'America's Funniest Home Videos'. Aah! Oh! Aah!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "What kind of idiot gives the little kid orange soda?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I've got a brand-new business selling suicide insurance, and it's going great.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Obviously, he's gonna be an athlete, so I only got to save up for, like, one year of college.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "You remember Megan Duffy, maiden name Duffy. Hopefully no relation.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I recognize you two. Did we have a four-way?", "c": ["Megan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "We decided to adopt 'cause Megan's real career-oriented right now, didn't want to wreck her boobs.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Couple months later, boom, we got Black Dennis.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Yeah, right, Liz, the guy with the black son is racist.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Later days, dummies. 21st-century family coming through! This is the new normal!", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I read the one about a handsome genius who lied to two idiots about reading scripts.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Dammit-I'll-Pick-A-Name-Later Dotcom Productions.", "c": ["Dotcom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "While on holiday in Tuscany, a middle-aged divorc\u00e9e falls in love with a lazy pervert who's into hats.", "c": ["Movie Pitcher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "In a world with too much freedom, one young man dared to be different. 'Hitler: The Boy Who Dreamed of Stars'!", "c": ["Movie Pitcher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "It's a Harriet Tubman biopic entitled, 'The Moses of Maryland'. I'll buy it! Sorry, I was talking on my Bluetooth to a guy at the octopus auction.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "How would you like to be the voice of Gaboing, the evil wizard who would take jumping away from Jumpland?", "c": ["NBC Executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "You know who else was married? Ted Bundy. - I don't think so, Liz. - Really? He's so handsome. Is he still alive?", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I ignore it when you eat popsicles by biting them with your teeth, which is insane!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Me need piece of paper to know how I feel! Guhhhh, Liz marry Criss? Doy! Errr, all right.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "'Top Gun'-style. Jenna Maroney, you are my slave.", "c": ["Terry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "For a million points, he got me! Surge! Suck it down!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "My boyfriend was supposed to pick me up after that shoot, so I called him, and I was like, 'O.J., where are you?' And he was like, 'Wait, you're alive? Then who did I kill?'", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Well, you do have the wind-battered face of a New England cod fisherman, if that's what you're asking.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I'll get Tony Bennett to sing. I saved his life at an illegal pai gow game once. He owes me a favor.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I had forgotten to stock up on toilet paper, but I had remembered to stock up on seven-layer dip --", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Sol Rosenbear and I would like to thank everyone for coming to our destination wedding here on the Love Boat. Unfortunately, Sol has discovered my previous relationship with Gopher, so he will be seeking an annulment once we reach Puerto Vallarta.", "c": ["Young Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Maybe there's not gonna be a wedding! You're ruining my special day! Mom, what the [beep] are you wearing?", "c": ["Wedding Bitches"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "So tomorrow Liz Lemon is getting married in a sweatshirt, no bra!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "We are registered at Popcorn Palace!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I guess we've replaced so much of you over the years that you're maybe not you anymore, but you're healthy.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I always assumed I'd die young because, you know, I look so much like James Dean.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "That's why I'm always breaking the law, buying exotic sharks, forgetting to feed them, and then trying to hug them!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "The money I've made off your health problems has put me almost all the way through medical school.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Drink eight glasses a day of that stuff. You know, clear bathtub juice.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "But I do have a pamphlet that has a bunch of drawings of vaginae.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I'm moving to Arizona to be with my new slave master Terry to live in a birdcage he built.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I've calculated that she is worth $800,000.", "c": ["Terry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Uh, let's say Jenna Was worth that in her prime. That was 10 years ago.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "A 7th-grade education, hepatitis D, bullet in jaw, fatwa, credit card debt, wanted by the Yakuza --", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "$2,000.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "In Arizona, two grand will buy me a castle and a pillowcase full of meth.", "c": ["Terry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I used to only say stuff like that in my white nerd voice.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Oh! I see you over there, you little gumdrop. Don't hide from Shanice!", "c": ["Shanice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Just like the Hiltons!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I'll give you a bath in the sink like a baby!", "c": ["Shanice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Yeah, 'cause we were wearing them when we first -- Met. Met.", "c": ["Couple"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "You know, I always imagined getting married right when they take your picture on Splash Mountain.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "When they said, 'You may now kiss the bride,' I did my first ever eye-roll.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me, Chros?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Oh, also, I told him you're Italian, so he might call you Tina --", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I work at the Marriage Bureau, but I'll never get married.", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I'm gonna hold you to that, sir!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I'm at an age where I no longer need erectile softeners.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I coined the phrase, 'You wish, pal!'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Mazel tov, dummies. You're Jewish, right, Liz?", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Getting my show picked up, or meeting you, or the time I got a sleeve of Starburst with all pink!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "My parents spent the money they saved up for my wedding on a PT Cruiser.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Ergo. Affleck's finally gonna get that Oscar.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "She made it out of parachute silk while hiding from the Germans.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Oh, Rosenbear. He never got enough time in his garden before he passed.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "And you're gonna wear a suit that makes you look like a little marzipan candy man!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "It's my special day!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Tracy, it's me, Harriet Tubman.", "c": ["Harriet Tubman/Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I grew up Interior Maryland slave shack, the year 18.", "c": ["Harriet Tubman/Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Eat a corn on the cob and make it sexy!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "I could forget my chimpanzee's birthday!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Liz Lemon's getting married? Harry Truman was right! Anything's possible!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "A super-expensive period piece starring a middle-aged woman? No one's gonna want to see it!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Black Dennis, start the car!", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "What? It's the only white dress I own.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "But your hair! I'm a princess!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Tito was a drug dealer the police shot in the face. In Riverside Park. Where we first met.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "'But you see,' said Roark quietly, 'I've chosen the work I want to do. And I can find joy only if I do my work in the best way possible to me.'", "c": ["Officiant"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Oh! My lip is caught in the grill!", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "You know, I'm attractive. I've got cheekbones and a pair you can do something with.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "Black Dennis got some cop's gun!", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"}, {"t": "To what? - To Criss, Frank.", "c": ["Frank", "Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "What the H-E-double-vibrator is that thing on your left hand?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "How could you do this to me? - Flurb?", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I guess I ate all that asparagus for nothing.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Reverend Gimp", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Timberbiel, Beyon-Z, Anne Hatha-nobody", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I was on a list to date Tom Cruise, but I bailed before I got sucked in too deep, praise Xenu!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "It's inspiring to see that a woman in her 30s can still find true love. - I'm 42, Cerie. - I don't know what that is.", "c": ["Cerie", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "80 Under 80, honoring women in entertainment who aren't Betty White", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "oh, dot com, backslash garbagefile", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Doo-ba-doo-ba-dow! Ba-doo-pomp-boo-pomp-boo-ba-da!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "She insists on traveling on Pearl Harbor Day to 'Show the Emperor we're not afraid.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "That's only 14 in demon years, Lemon.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I got the idea from watching your President Obama the last four years.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Notice the ring is shriller.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Well, she's wearing it pulled back, but it's not working. Exactly, because of her ears.", "c": ["Jonathan", "Colleen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Because despite cell phones, iPads, and computers, it's still the most effective portal for poltergeists?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Someone's looking lovely today! What a burn! I could have meant someone else. Although I didn't. She's radiant.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "My whole life is thunder!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Next you'll tell me Mickey Rourke catapulted you into the Hollywood sign!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Chuck Scarborough is anatomically a woman? So I am a lesbian.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "What brings a mummer to Lightsman's Row?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Oh, Liz, you had me at 'Hayden Panettiere is dead'!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I'm a nymphomaniac virgin widow, and I just completed my year of mourning.", "c": ["Unknown woman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I see her spot in front of my left eye. If this turns out to be a stroke, you're in charge of plucking my chin.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I have a few things I want to say to you before I meet the Grim Reaper, who is black, I assume, what, with the hoodies he wears.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I didn't trust that scout master. He was always wearing shorts.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "If only 'Dragnet' hadn't been preempted because of Sputnik, you never would have been conceived!", "c": ["Jack", "reciting Colleen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "You left crumbs on the floor so that the mice spelled 'Come see me'?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Florence Henderson! - Mrs. Brady! - Uh-uh. I told the black guy here none of that Brady stuff.", "c": ["Tracy", "Florence Henderson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Are you the perverts who want to go to town on each other while I make a pie?", "c": ["Florence Henderson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I can't shake hands because I have carpal tunnel syndrome from zipping up my own dress now that Gary's gone.", "c": ["Bonny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Because Gary was the navigator.", "c": ["Bonny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Why does the other Liz Lemon always come up first?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Why does the other Liz Lemon always come up first?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I just went, but I guess I can go again!", "c": ["Unknown woman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "You know what my best friend did for my 50th birthday? She gives everybody a car. And then she was all, 'Thank you for coming to Gayle's birthday!'", "c": ["Unknown woman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "My bangs, they're not about you. It's about me trying to cover my forehead.", "c": ["Unknown woman"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "We're talking about Oprah, right? - No, of course not. She can hear us!", "c": ["Liz", "Unknown woman"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "For grave robbers.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I went down to a pack a day for you!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I was watching TV, and they started interviewing an Asian Santa Claus, and my arm went numb!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "My father did not kill dozens of Germans so that his daughter could die in a van!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "The horse is one of only three appropriate subjects for a painting, along with ships with sails and men holding up swords while staring off into the distance.", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I'm going out of this world exactly the way I came into it. Wearing a hat!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Are you the same guy as before, or does that sun-bleached turd have a twin brother?", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Apex Technical School puts students first. And the perfect time to enroll is now.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Just like Gary and that bitch who was selling us our dream house.", "c": ["Bonny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Without me, you'd still be behind that light board in Chicago turning bags of Sour Patch Kids inside out to lick them clean! - I got my money's worth!", "c": ["Jenna", "Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I got my money's worth!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Well, joke's on you because that wasn't a commercial. I don't know what it was!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Thank you. Visit my website for extras and ringtones.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Well, this stage is now lit like a grocery store milk aisle!", "c": ["Lighting technician"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Also, you need to tell your Aunt Mary, when she was two, there was an accident with a hot corn.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I breastfed you for nine years!", "c": ["Colleen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "It's all right! The lack of oxygen is making me orgasm!", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "You would know, Judy!", "c": ["Bonny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I put his sweater on a body pillow... I took it for a canoe ride!", "c": ["Bonny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Colleen had a 'fart attack'?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "My grandmother said, 'Liz, stop playing with the flesh around my elbow.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Colleen wanted to be buried before the rest of the family found out and sold her body to a haunted house.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "One more chance to disappoint her as she looks up at me from her throne in Hell.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "The pill that lets me feel emotion is gonna wear off soon.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "The pill that lets me feel emotion is gonna wear off soon.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "They have reinforced crotches.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "you're married to a guy that I think about during sex.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Pill wearing off. You have mom arms.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Pill wearing off. You have mom arms.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Where else but real life would a millionaire movie star care so much about a hillbilly janitor that he would spend two days trying to cheer him up?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "You weren't supposed to have any lines, Quon Lee. Now I have to pay you!", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I realized that her constant, crushing disapproval was a gift. The greatest gift a mother ever gave a son.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "The man who in 1984 wore a tuxedo so well, he broke up the Go-Go's.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "And the plumber says, 'I don't-a know, but that's a pretty big-a pizza!'", "c": ["Priest"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I promise to always pour antibiotics all over your penis before you staple it to anything.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "I am so honored to be taking your first and last name.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Mrs. and Mr. Jenna Maroneys!", "c": ["Priest"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "My Whole Life Is Thunder"}, {"t": "Carol, they're towing your car! Damn it. My kids are in there.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman", "Carol"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I came all the way up to Westchester just to avoid you. This is Westchester? I am lost.", "c": ["Carol", "Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "If a man takes it, he won't grow breasts, although that would be awesome.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "No money for the whorehouse? That's fine. I'll just look down while hiding my crotch with an oriental fan.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Hey, that's a series wrap on Leo Spaceman, suckers. Bye.", "c": ["Dr. Spaceman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Liz Lemon, that stuff will shrink your testicles, but there are bad side effects as well.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Now, I'm not a woman, so of course I can say whatever I want.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I got octavia Spencer to play the lead... Harriet something.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "You know, I once played Frederick douglass in a one-woman show that the university of Maryland Diamondback called 'too confusing to be offensive.'", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Exactly. No Tracy.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "She wanted to be cremated, and she ended up dying in a fire. Such a considerate woman.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "One... birthday boy always sleeps in the largest tiger cage.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Some of the rules may be specific to my time in Vietnam.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Hank Jr. is writing a children's book about a giraffe who learns he doesn't have to work hard.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "That's the same age I was when I started Kabletown, got married, and had my first white child.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "What? Is this guy trying to tank the company? But, boy, you proved me wrong.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Celebrity homonym is the number-one show in America.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "The word is 'racket.' Okay, 'racket,' like a tennis racket. Sorry. It's the other one. Again?", "c": ["Celebrity contestant"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "It'll work great, just like Conan and Jay.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Have you ever updated your flash player? It is so sad. What happens to version 11.4?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I'm taking hormone shots to have a baby, you son of a bitch! A beautiful little baby.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Being a woman is the worst.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Just like poor Nixon. He did good things in China.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Octavia, excellent, you're black.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Well, you're just gonna have to rewrite the script and explain how my character can go through walls.", "c": ["Octavia Spencer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "But slaves didn't wear t-shirts. That sounds like a Tracy problem, Tracy.", "c": ["Octavia Spencer", "Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I got to go home and feed my eels. They're not electric, but I have a plan.", "c": ["Octavia Spencer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Boy, Jay-Z and Shakespeare have nothing in common. Or do they?", "c": ["Len as Jan Foster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Jan Foster is currently in a 'lesbian relationship' with Ms. Siegal from the math department.", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Pedal faster, fatties. God, I love how much you disgust me.", "c": ["Devin Banks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "You're the gay one. Wanting to be with a woman... How gay is that? You win sex against a man, that's as straight as it gets.", "c": ["Devin Banks"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Remember A-8? You peeked.", "c": ["Jack", "Devin Banks"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "An assload.", "c": ["Devin Banks"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Gregory Linens teamed up with Thomas n'things.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Gay enough that Kaylie's parents have never actually had heterosexual intercourse.", "c": ["Devin Banks"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Very handsome, horrible personality... I'm totally in love with him.", "c": ["Devin Banks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "You've moved from the 'well-meaning lesbian' pile to 'found a man, comma, living a lie.'", "c": ["Bev"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I can give you a six-year-old yesterday. Pick a color.", "c": ["Bev"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "And I always pictured myself getting double-teamed by two the rocks. But sometimes we have to make compromises.", "c": ["Bev"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "19.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Steve Forbes was born a ball of fingers. He had the best surgeons money can buy, but you can still tell.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "For every orphan Annie, there's a 30-year-old Russian dwarf who's just pretending to be a child, according to a movie that I watched part of.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "The reason being a week-long party in Stephen sondheim's sex dungeon. The workmanship down there is exquisite, but it took forever.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "What's happening to your left blob?", "c": ["Banks"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Oh, renovations in New York.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Thanks for the compliment, Lemon. Train travel's for hoboes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "The only backstabbing I do now is... Well, you know.", "c": ["Devin Banks"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I would have been a Nazi. Who do we know who's immature and vicious enough to...", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Let's destroy her.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Sound like she acting like you. But I'm impossible to deal with. No one has ever been able to rein in my hilarious antics.", "c": ["Tracy", "Grizz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "W.W.R.X.W. What would Liz Lemon do?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Jack, pleasure's the name of a pony I hate.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Oh, her brain's like silly putty, a toy I am too old for.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I use gadzorp.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I might as well be looking at Justin Timberlake.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I quit, cows. Tell your husbands I tried.", "c": ["Octavia Spencer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Blargh. I'm Liz Lemon. I'm in charge! Nerds! I want to have a baby. My boyfriend is a pilot or something. Sandwiches.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I'm a Jedi.", "c": ["Octavia Spencer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "I think my greatest disguise was len wazniak.", "c": ["Len"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Hi honey! It's 20% of your midterm grade.", "c": ["Len as Jan Foster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "engaged to Ms. Siegal.", "c": ["Len as Jan Foster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "that I wouldn't notice miss Foster sit on her testicles the other day", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "So Jenna is an Ashkenazi Jew with an extra 'Y' chromosome?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "We were all talking about it before at the mall.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Yes, I suppose that's one way this could have played out.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "A birthday card.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "While I distracted you, you forgot Pop-Pop's 70th birthday.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.64, "im": 8.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "After college, I'm gonna have to go into publishing and... Marry a finance guy and... Do charity stuff.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "After college, I'm gonna have to go into publishing and... Marry a finance guy and... Do charity stuff.", "c": ["Kaylie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "That didn't need to happen. That was just mean.", "c": ["Devin Banks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "And where did you get that sweater? Is that from chico's harvest naturals collection?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "No, they shattered in a urinal.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Like my booger-eating? Please, let me just have one. I need it, baby.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Hey, those lego men were on a rescue mission to save the other lego men that I swallowed.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "Bitch, more than one person works here.", "c": ["Bev"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "We went beyond.", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Game Over"}, {"t": "The last time I said that was when my pet gnus learned the true meaning of Christmas.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Classic Tracy... You'll miss this.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "He's a three-year-old boy from Transylvania. Stay with me. His name is Dracul. Hear me out. He is a hemophiliac with a sleep disorder.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I'm spontaneous. For instance, I started talking before I had an example of how I'm spontaneous.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "dear doritos, what about just selling bags full of your dust? I could put it on chicken or fish.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Then I have to drive around with my headlights off until someone flashes me. Then I have to... Well, it's not important.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "She is the only person in the world to have sarcastic last words. 'I just want you to be \"happy\".\" Mother, how I \"miss\" you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Okay, I am not some kind of \"nerdery\" slut. I like Star Wars.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "To that store that sells long-sleeve S.P.F. shirts!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "No, you need a nobody to sign for that water. We're on TV.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I saw him pack a wig.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I'm Martin Lutherking from NBC's in-house counsel.", "c": ["Martin Lutherking"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Hold my calls, giant bee.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "- Wassername! - What's her name?", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "The baby shoe she found after that fire. God, she loved looting.", "c": ["Martha"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Her nickname here was Mrs. Silly.", "c": ["Martha"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Next, we'll be holding hands in adjacent bathtubs. Or maybe that was a Cialis commercial... it's all a blur.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "If this is regarding an anaconda in a crawl space, press 1. If a sinkhole full of Indian bones has appeared in your living room, press 2. If you want to know why JAG wasn't on this week, press 3.", "c": ["Florida Emergency"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Why can't we just cut this state adrift and let it crash into Cuba?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "What kind of dinosaur was your grandfather?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "She's lying like a rug. 'Rug' is an offensive term for Persians that I made up.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Maybe that tall Asian one. Yeah, Miranda. Her hair is so thick and black.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I once played a lawyer in a movie, so I know all about winning your son's love back thanks to a magic camera.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "And I didn't super-duper finish law school.", "c": ["Martin Lutherking"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I have a gluten thing that turns my business white.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Shmesbians!", "c": ["Martha"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Where are my manners? This is Florida. Let me boil up a pot of hot gatorade. Is blue okay?", "c": ["Martha"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "But they weren't lesbians. My God, of course they were!", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Abraham Lincoln and his roommate, Joshua fry speed, slept in the same bed together until Joshua died from dancing too long at a party.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I DVR'd a documentary about the woman who designed all of pat summitt's blazers.", "c": ["Martha"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "In some ways, I'm still pinned under a passed-out Harvey Weinstein, and it's Thanksgiving.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Sloppy Rodney? It's me, Richard Drench. I remember that ass.", "c": ["Hazel/Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "For example, there isn't a hole in my pocket I keep touching my penis through. See? Easy.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "What's the problem, Lemon? They're just lumpy flowers.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "You know what Plato did have? A gay relationship with Socrates.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Finding hookers. Is that right?", "c": ["Siri"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Your pajamas have a turtleneck.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "They're from the L.L. Bean maritime professional collection.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Face-to-face, or butt-to-butt?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "There was a particularly youth-oriented priest in my childhood parish who went after everybody but me... Even fat Ralph, and he ate his boogers. I felt so unpretty.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I've never been high, except for that choir trip to Montreal where I accidentally ate a pound of marijuana.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "First of all, it's 'champing' at the bit. Horses champ.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "And I know those pots aren't flowers. They're my mother's vagina.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I've seen dresses that look fly, but never dresses that can fly.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I forgot to make an opening at the end of the slide.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Colleen's myna bird told me you spent the night in the car.", "c": ["Martha"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "The first three died falling off the car during 'Summer lovin''.", "c": ["Martha"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I'm in Harry Potter world jail.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Want to see a porno my cousin is in?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I'm just trying to lick it off.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I came here without studying the park map beforehand, which is how I ended up in a long line that turned out to just be a crowd of people watching two owls have sex.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I just let him read his Hustlers without ever telling him I was a fan.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "I know, and a woman of color too... good for her.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "My mother died while naming me.", "c": ["Bev"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Why don't you discuss it with that little action figure you're married to?", "c": ["Bev"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Next Friday is your last show.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "Kenneth doesn't have different hair anymore.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "His body is just a smooth beige tube with a head.", "c": ["Hazel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "There were these two African-American giants that were always pressuring me to join their book club.", "c": ["Hazel/Richard"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "Florida"}, {"t": "You fail Liz. You let the show get cancelled, and we all died.", "c": ["Dream characters"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "When we talked about this dream, we said we were gonna be cowboys.", "c": ["Dream character"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Guess there's another full-figured Bev at the office there.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "It's not my airport!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "How big is an eight-year-old's head? I'm thinking, like, a bowling ball?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "No, bowling ball's too small. It's like a basketball. A small basketball that you win at the fair.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "DVR at 98%, but I'm just never in the mood to watch Treme.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Okay, first things first... I'll watch a bunch of tremes.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Hey, sorry I late, but Treme gets good if you stick with it.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Like B.E.T.?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Would Amelia Earhart or dian fosse or Joan of Arc?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I ain't afraid of no board!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Lemon, expensive musical cues are exactly the sort of thing you can't afford anymore.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "You've got Lemon. Make lemonade.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I want to paint a mural of Houston for the kids, but I'm terrible at drawing swamp humidity.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Sex on the couch?", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "The lowest level of defense preparedness? Fantastic.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Have you dudes ever been to deafcon, the comic book convention for deaf people?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Fine, I'll Skip to the end. And that little boy's name was Marshall Mathers.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Last night at a party, we urinated into the same fountain during a lightning storm. And I think we switched brains.", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I'm glad the band U2 is doing press all day.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "My whole life has been building to this moment.", "c": ["Hornberger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Kenneth the page. That's a name I haven't heard in a long time.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I bleed blue and gray. Especially where I stepped on that nail.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "For example, if they're Japanese, I'll make sure we accidentally walk in on a blonde woman peeing.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "It's like NBC's TV version of Willy Wonka, starring Bob Uecker.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I do admire Wonka. He's a true capitalist. His factory has zero government regulations, slave labor, and an indoor boat.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "No, sir. It's a magical, Ruth-filled business!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "There is no 'we', Kenneth. You're giving a tour. I'm picking the next president of NBC. Understood? Yes, sir. Of course... Not.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "a German guy who wants to eat somebody. And even Gunter's having doubts.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Why should Bro Body Douche get in TGS's panties?", "c": ["Bro Body Douche"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Well, Broseph... Sup? I think TGS and Bro Body Douche would be tight. Totes? Nah mean? No homo. Mos def. So... jeah?", "c": ["Liz", "Bro Body Douche"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "TGS, it sounds like a news Channel, or an STD you know I've got.", "c": ["Bro Body Douche"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I like that you've got a slut on the show, even if she is a little boned out.", "c": ["Bro Body Douche"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 4.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "have you ever seen the porn version of Transformers?", "c": ["Bro Body Douche"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "It'd be weird if my show were created by a woman. So could your credit be Todd Debeikis?", "c": ["Bro Body Douche"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "It's in honor of my frat bro. Died during hell week after passing out in the trough.", "c": ["Bro Body Douche"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I went to Syracuse. Never-knew-my-dad!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I got some stuff on the back burner. Left unattended long enough, the house burns down... Insurance money.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Like how, after E.R., Clooney had dumb, gay Batman.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "But we don't need two roles if we play siamese twins! One is the president. The other's Santa Claus. And they're both in love with the same woman... Elvira!", "c": ["Tracy", "Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "It's a movie called Heads of state. Colon... The rise of doctor Ronfulus.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "The Today show was originally designed to entertain prison inmates whose IQs were too low for them to be executed.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "We pay most of our hosts in white wine.", "c": ["Executive candidate"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "And it's about seeing your friends Matt and Savannha, and your Butler Al.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Janu-where is the snow?", "c": ["Kenneth", "Executive candidate"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Kenneth, it's 'we peacock comedy.' You say the peacock.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "[Angry NBC chimes] \u266a dum dum dum \u266a", "c": ["Sound effect"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "They're death traps and hymen demolishers. You know what happened to me.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Did you know that every year more people die from disease and accidents combined than from just trampoline accidents?", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I'm the only single guy here, Liz, except for Ladarius, whose wife died in a trampoline accident.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "It comes out 13-13-13, which is January 13th, 2014.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I know what you're thinking, Liz, but it is possible to have twins who are different races. I saw it on Maury.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "It was a episode entitled, my obese toddler did my stepfather's makeover.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "What would it take for you people to ever step up and help me? Ever!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "TGS, the Joey Montero show, the Lovebirds. And the moon landing.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "My name is C.B. Essington. Now, listen to me carefully because I have a moral quandary for you.", "c": ["Kenneth in disguise"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "That fabric was made from toilet-clog hair.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "At some point, you gotta turn the horse into glue, Ken.", "c": ["Executive candidate"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "That is a waste of delicious dead horse.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "But if all he cares about is the bottom line, he's not right for the job.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Kenneth, you also just described me. Are you saying I wasn't right for the job?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "No, sir. You were not.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I'm just hair and eyes. It's perfect.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "what if the jolly green giant was horny?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "You're not my girlfriend. You're nobody's girlfriend!", "c": ["Scab musician"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I think it's awesome, but full disclosure, I just drank ayahuasca.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Do you know what I had for lunch today? Two pieces of pizza, a garden salad, a cup of soup, this cookie thing with a jelly center.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "They're not coming in on 1/29 on Flight 124. They're coming in on 1/24 on Flight 129.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I mean, how important is being there this one time?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "And I am Todd Debeikis!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "So shines a goon's deed in a weary world.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I mean, the monkey was funny, damn it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Homonym is the first U.S. TV show to be broadcast in Iran.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Your college mascot and president was a bear in a hat?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "You're the next president of the National Broadcasting Company.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Welcome to the Man Cave. TV for your peen. R.I.P., Todd.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "They're replaceable... we can get David Alan Grier and Miss Piggy.", "c": ["Kabletown executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "Children? Why the hell are you still here?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "I actually quit two years ago. Subhas out. Suck it!", "c": ["Subhas"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "No way! So it is possible. Yeah, I saw it on Maury.", "c": ["Writer", "Jenna"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "What up, Liz Lemon? I will not be able to attend school tomorrow because of an issue with my lizard.", "c": ["Adopted child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "That seems about right.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "A Goons Deed In A Weary World"}, {"t": "\"I'm sorry... What's a girl's bike? Is that like a girl doctor? Go back to Saudi Arabia, Hitler!\"", "c": ["Unknown commenter"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"You're buying a bike but not a helmet? The head is where the child's brain is. Why don't you get educated, double Hitler?\"", "c": ["Unknown commenter"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Helmets inhibit brain development. You might as well give your darling child vaccines, which studies show cause homosexuality.\"", "c": ["Unknown commenter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"So what? My two-year-old is super gay, and we love him more than a straight child because he doesn't rape!\"", "c": ["Unknown commenter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"We're now providing the same level of service to our subscribers at zero the cost.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"And then we'll be able to get even better trophy wives... Halfasian ones!\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I never told you this, but I once came up late at night looking for Jack, and you were in a wedding dress dancing with one of his suits.\"", "c": ["Liz", "Jonathan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "To keep away Frankensteins, which, as far as we know, worked.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"He has a degree in ethno-musicology from Wesleyan, so he's a receptionist in a dental office.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "I ran this morning for 30 minutes. Does that include dry heaving? And wet.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Hogcock! Which is a combination of 'hogwash' and 'poppycock.'\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"if my mother told me that everything I had been raised to believe was a lie and then died, I'd be like, 'say what?'\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"A city built on the religion of capitalism, and I am its high priest, looking down on the swinish multitude.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"even they must acknowledge me... As a God.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Dark times are these.\" - Yoda quote delivered seriously", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"But we thought maybe contestants could win money instead of penis punches.\"", "c": ["Unknown NBC exec"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"And yet you still say stupid stuff to me all the time and suck at carrying boxes!\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Chickpeas, moonshine, turtle meat?\"", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"You've always had the body for it.\"", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Woman, writer, New York... Those are all on my list of TV no-no words.\"", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"They don't want to watch some angry New York crankypants make that face... Exactly.\"", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Shows where a guy gets a drink thrown in his face, and then he turns to his dog and says, 'don't even say it.' To his dog!\"", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I'll go to cable, where you can swear and really take time to let moments land.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I will tell the other gays your real ages!\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"This is an actor announcement. The show's over, so you're not technically an actor anymore.\"", "c": ["Stage manager"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I will stop being an actress when the Earth stops spinning on Kabbalah monster's fingernail.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Good-bye forever, you factory reject dildos.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to spank you again.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Where are all the baby pigeons?\"", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"It's like when a pig says, 'if I can communicate with you telepathically, do I have a soul?' And then you're like, 'no. Duh. Into the slaughtering chute.'\"", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I'm going to crush this problem... With my ass.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"That's Tracy... 'T' as in the drink, 'R' as in the pirate noise, 'A' as in the Fonzie noise, 'C' as in sea monster, 'Y' as in why do we even make friends if they're gonna let you down when we need them the most?\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"'J' as in the birds I'm afraid of...\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"For example, the rapper T.I., who wrote, 'better get on yo job, tell 'em. Haters get on yo job, nougats.' At least, I think he was saying 'nougats.'\"", "c": ["Unknown commenter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I'll be the one wearing a purple sweater and wrapping a baby swing around some skank's neck.\"", "c": ["Unknown commenter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"The parking space closest to the door is mine.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"And if you can, get hit by a car. You get to spend a couple days in the hospital, and they'll give you soup.\"", "c": ["The Colonel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"What you're proposing is a sin, Jack, but she is wicked hot.\"", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"It would have to be a conjugal visit, because I am in a Puerto Rican jail.\"", "c": ["Elisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"My foot hurts, but I'm okay.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I think this injury has given me crime-solving powers. It's Mind beauty.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Good-bye forever, you soup line at a gay homeless shelter.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "Crisstopher Rick Chros. Are you kidding me?", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"My God! Since when do you listen to T.I.?\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Now I'm all jittery and weird and... bird!\"", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Or that one where your hands are spiders. Hand spiders.\"", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"You're... the dad.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"like, I don't know, a show about a dentist's office where the sassy hygienist says things like, 'I'm turning 30... Again.'\"", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Damn it! Why did I get such a loud pacemaker?\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I saw his schedule on his assistant's pornography box!\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Unless you need us to hate the new Taylor Swift album. That girl has feelings. You're wrong, dotcom!\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Neither is talking two catholic beauties into a delicious vanilla-caramel sex swirl, but I did it.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"And I got rid of their accents.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Jack, porking in that prison basement was wicked awesome.\"", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"You string cheese with a tooth stuck in it.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"They burned you in effigy! The hair went up like a Roman candle.\"", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"God, I feel like I have a 'macropenis' right now.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"He loves his family, but he hates the rat race. He's 'hardly working.'\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"If fewer than 150 episodes of TGS are produced in total, Mr. Jordan shall be paid a penalty of $30 million.\"", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "One last chance for TGS to make America Say, 'what? Why?'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Shut your chin slit.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"You Eastern European knockoff Mr. Potato heads.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "Shut it down. I will return to my first love... Broadway!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I know what it is to blow up overnight. And I'm not talking about my gout.\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"So, like the snakes I kept in my dressing room, I release you.\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"And while we're naming things, my car ran out of gas on the Long Island expressway.\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "I'm looking for six figures, eight if you're counting cents, which I fell for once before... Not cool, the gap.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I pissed off my enemies... Pelosi, Maddow, Baldwin.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"You're just an alcoholic with a great voice.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"eating night cheese and transitioning my pajamas into daywear.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I used to be a shark, and then you 'unsharkulated' me.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "I called you up here for one meeting seven years ago, and you kept coming up.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "There! You're no longer special to him. Get out! Get out of our lives! Yes!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"NBC... the same company that suggested we get flush buddies to save water.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"My God, this will change elder care forever. Whoops. Nope.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"The only thing that can stop this show is an act of God or if some genius figured out a way to stall just long enough...\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"The night is young. And neither are you.\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "No. / Blimpie's. / No! / Come on, Lutz!", "c": ["Everyone", "Lutz", "Everyone", "Frank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"You picked last time, Liz, so alphabetically after Lemon comes...\"", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "I found this customer-loyalty card to a place called blazer bar, and I assume it's yours. / Thank you. It's Manhattan's largest out-of-business women's blazer dump.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Look, I didn't like the way we ended things yesterday.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"most of Tan Penis Island was destroyed in Sting's house fire.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"'snowicane' white lady name like dorva or something.\"", "c": ["Al Roker"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"So get up on that stage and cut the B.S.!\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Did you pin her up against the wall? Were your shirts wet with rain?\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "Did you pin her up against the wall? Were your shirts wet with rain?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"She did want me to cancel Top Chef because Colicchio's lunch place changed the toppings on her favorite salad.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"We were gonna lose our virginity to each other! Now I'll never lose it!\"", "c": ["Conan"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I frenched her dad on new year's.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I spent Christmas alone in the Hamptons, drinking scotch and throwing firecrackers at Billy Joel's dog!\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Daddy, please stop crying.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I'm five steps ahead of you, you sons of bitches!\"", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Okay, I can't do this anymore. I've never met Mickey Rourke.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "On behalf of the network, Ms. Maroney, I think you should sing at the end of the show tonight. / Wonderful! I'll need ten pianos.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Good-bye, long-hair guy. Good-bye, Richard Esposito. Go home to your wife and eight beautiful children.\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "Guys, I know I don't normally say much, but... / What, woman? Speak!", "c": ["Sue", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"You changed your name to 'Aardvark'? That's insane!\"", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"To act drunk, you just wear two different-sized heels.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"And to cry, you just clutch a shard of broken glass.\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Just bury the necklace and move on.\"", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"You know what a real man does? Fakes his own death.\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Why would a guy planning to fake his death deposit $70? He wouldn't!\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Grizz just found out his uncle left him a bed-and-breakfast outside Santa Fe. I'm gonna be a real fish out of water.\"", "c": ["Grizz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Because for seven years, you have yelled at me and turned the lights out on me when I was in the bathroom and written on me while I was sleeping\"", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"And when that sandwich slides out of you in a week, look at it, because that is Lutz's revenge!\"", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Give it up for Liz Lemon, everybody! The least molested person in here.\"", "c": ["Strip club MC"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Anybody who's ever left me in my life just left... My dad going to get a pack of smokes and never coming back\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"But because the human heart is not properly connected to the human brain, I love you, and I'm gonna miss you.\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Brian Williams needs a mirror on the floor of his bathroom. I guess you want that if you have a glass toilet.\"", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Cupcake sandwich! Cupcake sandwich!\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"This is like what happened with my gynecologist all over again!\"", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Go to YouTube and search 'Hamlet the mini pig goes downstairs.'\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Don goes to work for Peggy!\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"It's a word that comes to us by way of the old high German luba, from the Latin lubere, meaning 'to be pleasing.'\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"A hot bowl of bear meat or your enemy's skull... Split.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Clear dishwashers, so you can see what's going on inside it.\"", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"I mean, who's Pete? I have amnesia! I... Damn it! I practiced this!\"", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"Wait. You're Sam?\" \"Don't even say it.\"", "c": ["Kenneth", "Sam"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"See ya later, suckers! Meep-meep! Pyung!\"", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "\"My dad finally came back from getting cigarettes.\"", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Hogcock!"}, {"t": "Any recommendations for the best place to buy a girl's bike on the upper West Side? She's eight. - I'm sorry... What's a girl's bike? Is that like a girl doctor? Go back to Saudi Arabia, Hitler!", "c": ["Anonymous online commenters"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "You're buying a bike but not a helmet? The head is where the child's brain is. Why don't you get educated, double Hitler!", "c": ["Anonymous online commenters"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "My two-year-old is super gay, and we love him more than a straight child because he doesn't rape!", "c": ["Anonymous online commenter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Yesterday I moved Kabletown's customer service to a part of India that has no phones. We're now providing the same level of service to our subscribers at zero the cost.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "And then we'll be able to get even better trophy wives... Half-Asian ones!", "c": ["Corporate executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I never told you this, but I once came up late at night looking for Jack, and you were in a wedding dress dancing with one of his suits.", "c": ["Liz", "Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Stay-at-home Lemon. To what do I owe the pleasure? Did you already run out of things to do today? - Pfft! What? No. You are.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "To keep away frankensteins, which, as far as we know, worked.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I ran this morning for 30 minutes. - Does that include dry heaving? - And wet.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "He has a degree in ethno-musicology from wesleyan, so he's a receptionist in a dental office.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Hogcock! Which is a combination of 'hogwash' and 'poppycock.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "If my mother told me that everything I had been raised to believe was a lie and then died, I'd be like, 'say what?'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "A city built on the religion of capitalism, and I am its high priest, looking down on the swinish multitude.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Even they must acknowledge me... As a god. - And this makes you happy? - It should.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "You know, I'm reminded of something Yoda once said. Mmm! Ohh! Dark times are these.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "We thought maybe contestants could win money instead of penis punches.", "c": ["NBC executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "He promised me he'd always be there for me, no matter what! - Sometimes things change. - And yet you still say stupid stuff to me all the time and suck at carrying boxes!", "c": ["Tracy", "Dotcom", "Grizz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "You've always had the body for it.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Woman, writer, New York... Those are all on my list of TV no-no words.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "They don't want to watch some angry New York crankypants make that face... exactly.", "c": ["Kenneth", "Liz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Shows where a guy gets a drink thrown in his face, and then he turns to his dog and says, 'don't even say it.' To his dog!", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I will tell the other gays your real ages!", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I will stop being an actress when the earth stops spinning on Kabbalah monster's fingernail.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Good-bye forever, you factory reject dildos.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Inga, you have to warn me when we have an important guest. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to spank you again.", "c": ["Jack", "Inga"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Where are all the baby pigeons?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "It's like when a pig says, 'if I can communicate with you telepathically, do I have a soul?' And then you're like, 'no. Duh. Into the slaughtering chute.'", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "As I was taught at Six Sigma... Analyze, strategize, succeed. 'A.S.S.' I'm going to crush this problem... With my ass.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "That's Tracy... 't' as in the drink, 'r' as in the pirate noise, 'a' as in the Fonzie noise, 'c' as in sea monster, 'y' as in why do we even make friends if they're gonna let you down when we need them the most?", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "'J' as in the birds I'm afraid of...", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I did, but I got fired... For stupidity.", "c": ["Anonymous commenter"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "For example, the rapper T.I., who wrote, 'better get on yo job, tell 'em. Haters get on yo job, nougats.' at least, I think he was saying 'nougats.'", "c": ["Anonymous commenter"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I'll be the one wearing a purple sweater and wrapping a baby swing around some skank's neck.", "c": ["Anonymous commenter"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "And if you can, get hit by a car. You get to spend a couple days in the hospital, and they'll give you soup.", "c": ["The Colonel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Nancy, I know this is unconventional, but I really think a group relationship could work. - What you're proposing is a sin, Jack, but she is wicked hot.", "c": ["Jack", "Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "My foot hurts, but I'm okay. I think this injury has given me crime-solving powers. It's law & order: Mind beauty.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I am going to the city of angels, a veterinary hospital where I get dog sedatives that help me relax when I fly.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Good-bye forever, you soup line at a gay homeless shelter.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Since when do you listen to T.I.? - That message board is for moms. I thought you were a lady.", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Sitting at a desk makes me crazy, so I keep getting up and getting coffee. Now I'm all jittery and weird and... bird!", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Her kids were so bored, I just wanted to jump over that divider and play waiting games with them, like carpet adventure. - Or that one where your hands are spiders. - Hand spiders.", "c": ["Criss", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "If you were a dude, you would not even be thinking that. It's okay to want to work. One of us has to. We just got it backwards. You're... the dad.", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I do like ignoring your questions while I try to watch TV. - Exactly!", "c": ["Liz", "Criss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "A show about a dentist's office where the sassy hygienist says things like, 'I'm turning 30... Again.'", "c": ["Criss"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "When I went up to Ken's office earlier, I saw his schedule on his assistant's pornography box! - You mean computer?", "c": ["Tracy", "Dotcom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Unless you need us to hate the new Taylor swift album. That girl has feelings. - You're wrong, Dotcom!", "c": ["Dotcom", "Grizz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Neither is talking two catholic beauties into a delicious vanilla-caramel sex swirl, but I did it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Oh, thank you, you two, for blowing my brains.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "You string cheese with a tooth stuck in it.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "They burned you in effigy! The hair went up like a Roman candle.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "By having to come down here and listen to us.", "c": ["Politician"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "God, I feel like I have a 'macropenis' right now.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "America wants to see... John hardly. He loves his family, but he hates the rat race. He's 'hardly working.'", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "And I don't mean those two santas I saw kissing on the subway.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Shut your chin slit.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "You eastern European knockoff Mr. Potato heads.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I know what it is to blow up overnight. And I'm not talking about my gout.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "So, like the snakes I kept in my dressing room, I release you.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Am I supposed to drop this on the floor?", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I'm looking for six figures, eight if you're counting cents, which I fell for once before... Not cool, the gap.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I pissed off my enemies... Pelosi, Maddow, Baldwin.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "You're just an alcoholic with a great voice.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "When I met you, I was perfectly happy with what I had... Eating night cheese and transitioning my pajamas into daywear.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I used to be a shark, and then you 'unsharkulated' me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I called you up here for one meeting seven years ago, and you kept coming up.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "So we ruined each other? Good to know.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "There! You're no longer special to him. Get out! Get out of our lives! Yes!", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "The same company that suggested we get flush buddies to save water.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "This is Dan silversmith with Carolina mutual. I can't talk right now. I'm with a customer.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Like that machine Kathy Geiss invented that hugs old people. - My god, this will change elder care forever. - Hmm. Whoops. Nope.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "The only thing that can stop this show is an act of god or if some genius figured out a way to stall Just long enough...", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "The night is young. And neither are you.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Eating night cheese and transitioning my pajamas into daywear.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Alphabetically after Lemon comes... Oh, no.", "c": ["Cerie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "It's Manhattan's largest out-of-business women's blazer dump.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I assume that's code for a billionaire's soul-searching trip to tan penis island.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Most of tan penis island was destroyed in Sting's house fire.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "According to the national weather service, you should, and I quote, 'leave work, get in your purple Bentley, and be home with your sharks before the tristate area gets slammed by what is being called snowicane'", "c": ["Weather reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "What did you do to Al Roker to make him do that? - Let's just say his wife is on the board of a children's hospital, and they need a celebrity to host their annual gala, and I threatened to do it.", "c": ["Liz", "Tracy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I can't talk right now. I'm with a customer.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Did you pin her up against the wall? Were your shirts wet with rain?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "When Conan dumped her, she dropped him forever. - Hey, Liz. - Come on, you can't pretend I don't exist. We dated for a year! We were gonna lose our virginity to each other! Now I'll never lose it!", "c": ["Jenna", "Conan O'Brien", "Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I'm afraid to even tell her that I frenched her dad on new year's.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I spent Christmas alone in the Hamptons, drinking scotch and throwing firecrackers at Billy Joel's dog!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Daddy, please stop crying.", "c": ["Unknown child"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I wrote it on flypaper. I'm five steps ahead of you, you sons of bitches!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I've never met Mickey Rourke.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Good luck with, uh, Jake.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Go home to your wife and eight beautiful children. You're all so beautiful.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "You changed your name to 'aardvark'? That's insane! - Shh. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Blimpie's.", "c": ["Liz", "Lutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "\u266a I will never forget you \u266a \u266a rural juror \u266a What? What is that face?", "c": ["Jenna", "Kenneth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "To cry, you just clutch a shard of broken glass.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "If anything ever happens to me and you can't find my body but you can find this, don't overthink it. Just Bury the necklace and move on.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.33, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Sweet, funny Elizabeth, your light always shown the brightest, baby. - You're coming to the show tonight, right? - I'll be watching. Not sure from where, but I'll be with you... In spirit.", "c": ["Jack", "Liz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Because for seven years, you have yelled at me and turned the lights out on me when I was in the bathroom and written on me while I was sleeping, 'cause I was Lutz... Dumb, old, uncool, part-inuit, bisexual, 51-year-old Lutz!", "c": ["Lutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Give it up for Liz Lemon, everybody! The least molested person in here.", "c": ["Strip club MC"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Anybody who's ever left me in my life just left... My dad going to get a pack of smokes and never coming back, all those foster parents talking about adopting me and never did.", "c": ["Tracy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "We were forced to be friends because of work. And we're probably not gonna hang out after this, all right? You'll say that you're gonna invite me to your house, and it's never gonna happen.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Because the human heart is not properly connected to the human brain, I love you, and I'm gonna miss you.", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "At the end of act two, my character, constance justice, sings the title song. It's a tearful good-bye to her true love, Norman Blurder, the rural juror.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Brian Williams needs a mirror on the floor of his bathroom. I guess you want that if you have a glass toilet.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Oh, god, that idiot. What did he do? - You are watching my video suicide note.", "c": ["Liz", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "This is like what happened with my gynecologist all over again!", "c": ["Liz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I want to be buried in it. So, if anything ever happens to me and you can't find my body but you can find this, don't overthink it. Just Bury the necklace and move on.", "c": ["Kenneth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "I sure hope so, tray. I sure hope so.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "30 Rock", "ss": "30-rock", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Last Lunch"}, {"t": "Look what the homosexuals have done to me.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I have the exact same blouse.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I like it better on him.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money. Or candy.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.54, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Hasn't everything already sort of been discovered, though... by, like, Magellan and Cort\u00e9s? Those guys did a pretty good job...", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "He also suffers from crippling panic attacks.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Because he's decided to never speak to these people again.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Breakfast. Family. Right. I thought you meant of the things you eat.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I just remembered something. Dad's retiring, not turning six.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I love all my children equally. I don't care for Gob.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm hoping the universe provides a path for me.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Maybe you'll be inspired by the boat party tonight, start a career as a pirate.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I haven't packed for that.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Sounds like you saved enough skin to make 10 new boys.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Mom says it's too windy.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It tasted like a foot. Which I didn't really mind, but I'm pretty sure I said no nuts.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "And then she'll see you and me totally making out. But not really, right?", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Tobias boarded a van full of homosexuals.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I have the exact same blouse. I like it better on him.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "My lovely wife, Lucille.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna lie to you, Michael. This is great news for HOOP.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I knew it was against the law.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Obviously this blue part here is the land.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Illusions, Dad! You don't have time for my illusions!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I thought that the homosexuals were pirates... but it turns out that most of them were actors in the local theater.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You're gay? No. No. I'm not... I'm not gay. No. Lindsay, how many times must we have this... No. I want to be an actor.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Buster? The guy who thought that the blue on the map was land?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Eighteenth-century agrarian business. But I guess it's all the same principles.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "And this is 'I'm a Bad, Bad Man' from Annie Get Your Gun.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "The man can barely work our shredder.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "We need ice. Michael. We need Michael.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "F off, traitor.", "c": ["Alliance magician"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Well, I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "They cannot arrest a husband and wife... for the same crime.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I got the worst... attorneys.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Well, since Mom died, it's been kind of lonely...", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "J.D.L.? Jewish Defense League. Oh, the circumcision thing?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Seriously, you're gonna pull a muscle.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "He should've been stocking up on those 'get out of jail free' cards.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich. Want some? You wanna take a bite? Take a bite.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "No touching!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "I haven't had a vacation in years. This is my vacation. I'm exercising. I'm sleeping well. You're doing time. I'm doing the time of my life!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "He's a flamer.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Because he's a flamer? I told you that in confidence.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Okay, we are just about ass to ankles back here, Maeby. Do you wanna hop on your cousin's lap there, please?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Whoa, bumpy road ahead.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Welcome aboard, Mr. Manager. Wow! I'm Mr. Manager! Well, manager. We just say 'manager.'", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Don't look at me, Mr. Manager. Right. It's up to me now. I'm Mr. Manager. Manager. We just say... I know, but you just... It doesn't matter who.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "I don't know what I expected.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "The only thing I found in the freezer was a dead dove in a bag. You didn't eat that, did you? 'Cause I've only got a couple days left to return it.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Died right in the middle of a show. Do you want a cage for that? No. I'm a magician.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "You spent $68 on hair conditioner? A small price to pay for self-esteem, Michael. Or are you still jealous that you lost Best Hair to me in high school and got Dorkiest?", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "I mean, look at me. I'm an actor. An actor, for crying out loud! You know how much rejection I face every day?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "But you've never actually had an audition. Well... excuse me!", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Yeah. Shoot me when that happens. Is there a carbon monoxide leak in this house?", "c": ["Maeby", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "You stay on top of her, buddy. Do not be afraid to ride her. Hard.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "I can't tell you how many health codes you're violating right now. I can't believe I volunteered for this. This is my stupidest rebellion ever.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Easy. Banana. Buck. Banana. Take a buck.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Then why don't you marry an ice cream sandwich?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "You know, it's really more believable if you let me finish.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Something with 'Dale.' I don't know. Brookfeather. Raintree. It's hot. It's very hot there. I've never been. Get a warrant!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Something with 'Dale.' I don't know. Brookfeather. Raintree. It's hot. It's very hot there. I've never been. Get a warrant!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Luz, that coat cost more than your house! Oh, that's how we joke. She doesn't even have a house.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Oh, look at all these parts!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Oh, look at all these parts!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Am I panicked about the fire, or am I being brave for everyone else? The fire... It's... It's a fire sale. Oh. Oh. Okay, I didn't, um... Well, let's give it a shot.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! We're having a fire... sale. Oh, the burning! It burns me! Evacuate all the schoolchildren! This isn't a fever! I can't even see where the knob is!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Would you like to try that a little simpler maybe? No.", "c": ["Casting Director", "Tobias"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Somebody wanted this place to go. Yeah? What do you mean, arson? Oh, definitely the work of a flamer.", "c": ["Fire Chief", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "I think I made the fire too real for them and probably failed to highlight the sale.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Well, that's great, but I've got my own problems. The flight records? They burned up. That's fine. That's over with. But I think Dad is behind it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "But you don't have a job. You've got a job offer. Anybody can get a job offer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "I can't trust a mailman with this. This is important.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "The banana stand! You know, that's exactly what this feels like. Huh? Like I'm still stuck in that hot booth all summer with you pulling the strings.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "We throw away a banana for every buck we take so no one finds out. Wait a minute. I think you should do that math again. Why? Is it wrong? It's fine. He's an arsonist, not an embezzler.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Gob had not mailed the letter, but, in an act of defiance... dramatically hurled the letter into the sea. This proved a more difficult dramatic gesture than he'd anticipated.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "This proved a more difficult dramatic gesture than he'd anticipated.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you're right. I am? Oh, God, I've screwed this up! Okay, we gotta go.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Pop-pop, he's a business man. What would he do? Bananas Foster.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "That's funny, 'cause I was gonna say, 'You might wanna lean away from that fire... since you're soaked in alcohol.' Mine was better.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Lucille"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Welcome to Bluth Bananas, where bananas are our business. May I interest you in a banana this day?", "c": ["T-Bone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Welcome to Bluth Bananas, where bananas are our business. May I interest you in a banana this day?", "c": ["T-Bone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Michael, having a nice day at the beach while the rest of us are busting our asses to deliver your mail?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Better than being treated like the goofball... the joker, the magician. I thought you were gonna do, like, a trick there. A fireball or something. I was. It didn't go off. These things never go off when you want them to. My least consistent trick.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "I thought you were gonna do, like, a trick there. A fireball or something. / I was. It didn't go off. These things never go off when you want them to. My least consistent trick.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "I was just, uh... I was burning down the banana stand.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "I was just, uh... I was burning down the banana stand. What? I'm sorry. I screwed it all up. I've got no right to call myself Mr. Manager. Manager.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Burn it down. What? Let's burn this son of a bitch.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "You mailed that insurance check, right, Gob?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "There was $250,000 lining the walls of the banana stand. What? Cash, Michael. Why didn't you tell me that? How much clearer can I say... 'There's always money in the banana stand'?", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "How much clearer can I say 'There's always money in the banana stand'?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.85, "im": 9.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "No touching! No touching! No touching!", "c": ["Prison Guards"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Return from whence you came!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "You couldn't have called me? I can't swing a hammer? I got a rabbit to buy.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Top Banana"}, {"t": "Son of a bitch! Oh, look what you did! You plopped it! I'll plop you!", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Never touch that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Or, you could not eat the cornballs and let your kid lead his own life.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Let's not blame the bike, okay? It's the poor carpenter that blames his shoddy tools for the... Ow!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "That stupid cornballing piece of...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "With what? Company credit card. You're returning that. Get a job.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "I thought these things were only legal in Mexico. In fact, the Cornballer wasn't legal anywhere.", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "No borders. No limits. 'Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. You know best.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "You're still not an actor.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Am I touching something? Hot! Hot, hot. Hot.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Now watch this. Maeby, where are you off to on this glorious Sunday afternoon? She won't tell me. I'm going to audition for a play.", "c": ["Tobias", "Maeby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "I was totally wrong. She's reaching out to her actor daddy.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "And then we actually get to kiss, right?", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "And then there's a kiss, right? Louder. And then there's a kiss, right?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Steve Holt! Steve Holt! Stand-in for Steve Holt? Steve Holt!", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "It'll fly out on its own. Why are you calling me? What do you need?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "What is it with this family and working?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "You run around with everyone else, going on bike rides, making cornholes.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Everyone's laughing, riding and cornholing except Buster.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "This is not going to be a day at the beach. That's cool. Mom packed me a change of clothes.", "c": ["Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Yeah. Mom's awesome.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Maybe we should call her.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Is this a business decision, or is it personal? 'Cause if it's business, I'll go away happily. But if it's personal, I'll go away. But I won't be happy.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "It's personal.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "I am so sorry.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Yeah. I just love the theater. That's great. I'm just doing it to kiss Steve Holt.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Well, actually, I think I'm gonna quit. Yeah, theater's dead.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "But, no. No. I love the theater... and I gave my word, so I'm back in.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Oh, my God.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "That just makes me wanna puke all over your head, sir.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Sure. Let the little fruit do it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Here I go again.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Mom told me to stay away from microwaves.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "this is gonna be... the most bitchingly fast bike in all of Orange County.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "not two young men playing grab-ass in the shower.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "You know, I can't go on a million bike rides whenever you want me to.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Not a girl? Of course.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Methinks a Cupid I shall play.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Fancy that.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Steve Holt!", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "You're in prison.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Yeah, and it's tough. We can really only play about two hands.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Maybe it was the 11 months he spent in the womb.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Are you crazy? I'm a magician. I make my living with my hands.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "She's not 'that Mexican,' Mom. She's my Mexican.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "If I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay here.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Yeah. And you might be eating... Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "I wish I could say the same for Steve Holt. I don't know what the hell her problem is.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "It was utterly macabre.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "I'm Mom, and I wanna shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "'Cause I'm an uptight... Buster! You old horny slut!", "c": ["Buster", "Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.59, "im": 9.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Well, no one's gonna top that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "They beat her up, and, uh, took all her clothes.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Buster was right. You get off on being withholding, don't you?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Send her over. I'll take her shopping. Buster was right. You get off on being withholding, don't you?", "c": ["Lucille", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Zip me up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "I'm flying! Buster?", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "No. I'm withholding it. Look at me getting off.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Michael. I wanna go with Mom.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "I was trying to fit in.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "but a little too close to the sun.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Front seat, Mom. I sit in the front seat now. Mmm?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Because they usually don't.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "You smell like my mom.", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "That's a little cornball. I don't mind. I don't mind either, buddy.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "That's a little cornball.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Mother of God! Oh! Every damn time! Oh! This is a big one. Oh!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "onward and upward! On... Why, Tracy? Why?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Mom! What is it? I can't get down.", "c": ["Buster", "Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Bringing Up Buster"}, {"t": "Great. So now we don't have a car or a jet? Why don't we just take an ad out in I'm Poor magazine?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "We're just gonna cover them up with blankets", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? / I'll never forget your wedding.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "You're wearing ostrich skin boots. / I don't care about ostriches.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Today I gotta stand next to her like I'm Rita Wilson.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "That's Mom. Hide. / He's in here, Mom!", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "I may not have her money anymore, but at least I have a live husband.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Make it long so Buster doesn't seem so... round.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "It's his glasses. They make him look like a lizard.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "If that's a veiled criticism about me... I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Watch out for bridges and hop-ons. You're gonna get some hop-ons.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "You can make dogs and cats a complete thing of the past. No more dogs and cats.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Say that to them in Spanish.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Which, of course, he never did with me.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "The warden was intrigued... less about the stunt... and more about the prison beatings this brash magician was sure to receive.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "I probably would have taken her to the nice event, but prison'll be fun too.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "How'd I come through? Gob, how'd I come through?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Life, Dad. I killed a guy.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Dirty Ears Bill! Dirty Ears Bill!", "c": ["White Power Bill", "Other prisoners"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "This is how I came through, huh?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Well, my brother may have eaten them.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Look, I'm an activist too. I appreciate what you're doing for the environment.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Go club some beavers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Where are the stairs?", "c": ["Johnny Bark"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "A sea of waiters, and no one will take a drink order.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "\u00bfC\u00f3mo estoy?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "That's one call per day, isn't it? Gee, I should think he'd wanna save that for his lawyer.", "c": ["Lucille Austero"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "At least he's in prison, not an urn.", "c": ["Lucille Bluth"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Did you win? I-I don't speak Spanish.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "I can't go without privacy. I c... I can't pass this key without privacy!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "I've made a huge mistake.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "At a weekend stage fighting workshop with Carl Weathers.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "I'll see you when you realize what that bucket's for.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "A waiter hands him a note; suddenly he's Steve McQueen.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "I know she's a brownish area with points.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "You just grab that... that brownish area by its points... and you don't let go, no matter what your mom says.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "How would you feel if I came down on you hard? / You're saying I'm not reading this right. / No, I'm saying I need to jump on you to break my fall.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Good talk.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Great. Now you're an athlete.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "I think you're gross.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "That's why you never get out of the tree.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "White power! / I'm... white.", "c": ["White Power Bill", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Ta-dah?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Has your hair... always been that pointy, Miss Austero?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Well, this is why people hate hospitals.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Good thing you didn't bring the stairs, huh?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "That's the stupid thing that I believe.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "I've made a huge mistake.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Looks like the shiv would have done some real damage if it hadn't been for this. It was in your lower intestine.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "So close.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "Let's go for it.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Key Decisions"}, {"t": "I'm catcher, or I'm nothing!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Your wife's on line one. Michael's wife had been dead for two years.", "c": ["Kitty", "Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "But not immediately.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "? Ta-dah?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "So I am going after this guy with everything I've got... art. Now we are writing a letter.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I wish I would've known you were coming. I am a mess. Don't know if a call from me would've changed that.", "c": ["Kitty", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Not as much as I like what's underneath it. No, I need your chair.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Can we come? Sorry. It's not for kids.", "c": ["Maeby", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "It says 'Bluth Company' right on the side. Plus, it's a stairway. That's gonna catch the eye.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Also, that House of Pies that went out of business.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "he accidentally watched HBO's Oz mistaking it for the classic Judy Garland musical. I'm an innocent man! Eat it, bitch!", "c": ["Narrator", "TV"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "No. Glasses on. Hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "If I gave a performance that good, I'd have my own Alias type show.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Without the half-person on the skateboard that grabbed your knee to steady himself.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Without the half-person on the skateboard that grabbed your knee to steady himself.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I'll give you a thousand bucks, you call the next one a strike.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I'm gonna die in here. They're gonna kill Grandpa.", "c": ["George Sr.", "George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Give Pop-Pop your hair! No touching! No touching! No touching!", "c": ["George Sr.", "George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "No batter. No batter. No batter.", "c": ["Prison inmates"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I don't totally get the hair joke, but I'm fine, Dad.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "You remember the carjacker? - Aaah! - Well, she's certainly toughened up since then.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Daddy horny, Michael.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "You've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Pool food. My system's not used to curly fries.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "If you're going to say 'pride,' you're wrong. Wasn't gonna say pride, Mom.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I think that you should... visit him... in an... intimate... marital... trailer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Daddy horny, Michael. He said some wonderful things.", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "'Golf membership' want it?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "And these, Tobias. When was the last time you looked at these?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Right! If I'm no Schwimmer, you're no Jennifer Aniston! Maybe I'm not even Lisa Kudrow.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Now there are two men I wanna leave.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I just came from convincing Mom to have sex with Dad. God! What is wrong with you? That is disgusting!", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I have a sense of propriety. All right?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I'm gonna use the touch lamp to set the mood in the conjugal trailer when Dad's nailing Mom!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I'm not saying 'I don't care' like kids who say they don't when they do... 'cause I don't.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Sometimes I don't know if it's gonna be a long or short hug or a middle-medium hug. It's hard to tell sometimes.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "The drive was a little awkward.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Every Friday for the last eight years. Daddy... Horny. I got that.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I'm not going to have sex with you, George. I came to tell you how much I hate you for what you've done to this family.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "And you're as powerful as a bear. My husband the bear. This bear needs some honey, wife.", "c": ["Lucille", "George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Have we done up, off? Wrong and bright. That's be... brighter!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't 'Sincerely Yours.'", "c": ["Warden"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Oh, God, Mommy! What did you do?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "Oh, God, Mommy! What did you do?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "'Cause I got news... he's, uh... he's guilty. Oh, yeah. Incredibly guilty.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "I've decided that... I want to become an actor too.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "There's a good chance that I... that I may... have committed some, um... light... treason.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Charity Drive"}, {"t": "This game is never gonna happen. Half of these guys are still in their cuffs.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "I'm catcher, or I'm nothing!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Your wife's on line one. Michael's wife had been dead for two years.", "c": ["Kitty", "Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "But not immediately.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "That's actually not any of your business. My business. That's not any of my business.", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "You won't even know I was here. But after a shiv to his side... thus fulfilling, in Gob's mind, his contract with the public. Ta-dah?", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "I wish I would've known you were coming. I am a mess. Don't know if a call from me would've changed that.", "c": ["Kitty", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Can we come? Sorry. It's not for kids.", "c": ["Maeby", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "It says 'Bluth Company' right on the side. Plus, it's a stairway. That's gonna catch the eye.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Also, that House of Pies that went out of business.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "In fact, he'd been terrified of the very notion of prison since, as a young boy, he accidentally watched HBO's Oz mistaking it for the classic Judy Garland musical.", "c": ["Narrator", "George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "I'm an innocent man! Eat it, bitch!", "c": ["Oz character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Oh. Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No. Glasses on. Hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Do you want me to turn all the lights off? Yes, yes, please. How's that? Is that better? There's still light coming in from under the door.", "c": ["Kitty", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "If I gave a performance that good, I'd have my own Alias type show.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "It's like a carnival. Without the half-person on the skateboard that grabbed your knee to steady himself.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "No touching! No touching! No touching!", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "No batter. No batter. No batter.", "c": ["Prison inmates"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "You remember the carjacker? Well, she's certainly toughened up since then.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Daddy horny, Michael.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Pool food. My system's not used to curly fries.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Golf membership want it?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "If I'm no Schwimmer, you're no Jennifer Aniston! Maybe I'm not even Lisa Kudrow.", "c": ["Tobias", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Now there are two men I wanna leave.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "I just came from convincing Mom to have sex with Dad. God! What is wrong with you? That is disgusting!", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "I Kitty.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "I'm gonna use the touch lamp to set the mood in the conjugal trailer when Dad's nailing Mom!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Sometimes I don't know if it's gonna be a long or short hug or a middle-medium hug. It's hard to tell sometimes. That was a good hug. That's plenty for now. Hug's gotta end sometime, obviously.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Every Friday for the last eight years.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "lit by nothing but natural light.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "This bear needs some honey, wife.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Glasses off. Glasses on. Hair up. Glasses off. Down, on. Have we done up, off?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Oh, God, Mommy! What did you do?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Incredibly guilty.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "he's, uh... he's guilty. / He is? / Oh, yeah. Incredibly guilty.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "There's a good chance that I... that I may... have committed some, um... light... treason.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.71, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Visiting Ours"}, {"t": "I enjoy bicentennials as much as the next guy, Mom, but we're not doing that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Buster had been avoiding Lucille Austero since he accidentally flirted with her while not wearing his glasses", "c": ["Narrator", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "And then accidentally entered her apartment, thinking it was his mother's", "c": ["Narrator", "Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Oh, here comes the 10:15 conniption, right on time.", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Get away from that stove. You're going to light your hair on fire.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "He's weak.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "You're my third least-favorite child.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Michael came home to find his mother's fourth least-favorite child", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Well, they got the Asian right. 'Hotties' might be a stretch.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Well, let's start with the little one.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Michael, do you have any idea what would happen if I were to visit prison? - Hmm. - It would be pandemonium.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Yeah, I got some of that... except he also didn't like my looks.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Come on. That would never happen. - She can't drive herself. - I mean, she's the world's worst driver.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Lucille had recently been featured on Fox's World's Worst Drivers", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "She didn't. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. We ended up checking 'Albino' on the form.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "She was having trouble even lifting up this bag of groceries.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "For Gangy? - Yeah, how did you know? - She called and invited us.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Come on. This is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Gob's got the charm, Buster's got the... - High-fastening pants. - Have you said that? No. I'm saying that now.", "c": ["Lindsay", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Lindsay was surprised once again that no heads were turned", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "It was a love between two cousins that the world thought was wrong. But it was the world that was wrong.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "You strike one more person, and it's technically a spree.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "And she was surprised that her family didn't show up", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "In fact, Buster was worried about running into Lucille 2. So he never left his mother's apartment. Lucille 2 was also supposed to go, but was waiting until she saw Buster emerge.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "What frail act got you this time, Michael? She couldn't open a jar? What, did a clump of her hair come out in your hands?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "I've been a horrible mother. - No, Mom. You're great. You've been a great mother.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Um, is it okay if I do it for Mom and not you? - Yeah. - 'Cause I really like Mom.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Yes. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. - No. Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes.", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "You and I. Is it 'I' or is it 'me'? - Buster, it's us. - Yes. It is us. Us.", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "And once again, no one showed up.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "I let you drive, didn't I?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "It's an idiot on a scooter at night? It's gotta be Gob.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "I was thrown clear. I only care about you.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "'Scoot'? Scooter. Was there a scooter involved?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "It was a wild, wild ride.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "My God, for the first time in years I felt like I was standing on solid ground.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Totally cool. Didn't feel a thing. You know, Mom, I'm crazy about this aspirin. I can't believe we give it to children.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Look, I don't want you thinking that your uncle is some sleazy character from the docks. - Good morning. - How are you? She's an Olympian... hopeful.", "c": ["Gob", "Woman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "I just jumped through a plate glass window on a date.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, women love to laugh.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Nothing. Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "It is obvious I'm not wearing a bra, right?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Your mother snuck 'em in here stuffed in energy bar wrappers", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "That's all I ever wanted from you, Daddy. For you to spend money on me.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Turn this skiff around. - We haven't even left the dock. But 'skiff' is appropriate, right?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "Which was behind the passenger seat. Which means that she picked you up and dragged you over to the driver's seat.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "I was halfway to South America, but I couldn't let you get away with it because we're brothers, Mom, and we kind of like each other.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "No, no, Mom. You're great. That's crazy talk. You're a fantastic mother.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "I knew society would never accept this. And they never will.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "I was definitely driving that time.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "In God We Trust"}, {"t": "I enjoy bicentennials as much as the next guy, Mom, but we're not doing that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Buster had been avoiding Lucille Austero since he accidentally flirted with her while not wearing his glasses. And then accidentally bid on her at a charity bachelorette auction. And then accidentally entered her apartment, thinking it was his mother's.", "c": ["Narrator", "Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Ten thousand dollars! Buster.", "c": ["Buster", "Lucille Austero"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Oh, here comes the 10:15 conniption, right on time.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I have no idea where you get that from. Get away from that stove. You're going to light your hair on fire.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Protein bars for your father. He's pumping up in prison.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "You're my third least-favorite child. I can live with that.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Michael came home to find his mother's fourth least-favorite child.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Well, they got the Asian right. 'Hotties' might be a stretch.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Well, let's start with the little one.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I know, Michael. That's why this is the perfect opportunity to throw her a surprise party. She'd never suspect it.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Michael, do you have any idea what would happen if I were to visit prison? It would be pandemonium.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Yeah, I got some of that... except he also didn't like my looks.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Come on. That would never happen.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Lindsay was not exaggerating. Lucille had recently been featured on Fox's World's Worst Drivers.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "She didn't. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. We ended up checking 'Albino' on the form.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "For Gangy? Yeah, how did you know? She called and invited us.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Come on. This is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "But didn't get the reception she was expecting.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "High-fastening pants.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Lindsay was surprised once again that no heads were turned.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "It was a love between two cousins that the world thought was wrong. But it was the world that was wrong.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "It's better than sitting here with Buster's stupid rock behind me.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Buster had recently brought the rock home from an archeological dig, but had yet to find a way to get it out of the car.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "You strike one more person, and it's technically a spree.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "And she was surprised that her family didn't show up.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "So this is what my children think of me.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "In fact, Buster was worried about running into Lucille 2. So he never left his mother's apartment. Lucille 2 was also supposed to go, but was waiting until she saw Buster emerge.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Well, it was kind of funny.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I've been a horrible mother.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Um, is it okay if I do it for Mom and not you?", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I've already got a Lucille in my life.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Yes. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes.", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "You and I. Is it 'I' or is it 'me'?", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Buster, it's us. Yes. It is us. Us.", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I hate to tell you, Mom, but they don't support me either.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I let you drive, didn't I?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "It's an idiot on a scooter at night? It's gotta be Gob.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I was thrown clear.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Your mother asked me to pump you full of... Children's aspirin.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I hardly felt it. In fact, actually, uh, I didn't feel it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "It was a wild, wild ride.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Totally cool. Didn't feel a thing. You know, Mom, I'm crazy about this aspirin. I can't believe we give it to children.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Oh, and, uh, preferably French. I like the way they think.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "She's an Olympian... hopeful. Swimming and some coaching. Yes, I will make the I.D.'s for you.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "That's when Gob decided to take the yacht to South America for the summer.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I just jumped through a plate glass window on a date.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, women love to laugh.", "c": ["Dr. Miller"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "It is obvious I'm not wearing a bra, right?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Your mother snuck 'em in here stuffed in energy bar wrappers to keep me from getting strangled in the shower or worse.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "But you keep coming back here, honey, and I'm going broke.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "That's all I ever wanted from you, Daddy. For you to spend money on me.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "But 'skiff' is appropriate, right?", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Which was behind the passenger seat. Which means that she picked you up and dragged you over to the driver's seat.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Mom can't pick me up. She could barely pick up that bag of protein bars.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Guess what? They weren't protein bars. They were gold Krugerrands. And Dad finally paid attention to my intellect.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "because we're brothers, Mom, and we kind of like each other.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I'm a horrible mother.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "That's crazy talk. You're a fantastic mother.", "c": ["Michael", "GOB"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "You know what? I knew society would never accept this. And they never will.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I was definitely driving that time.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "I was definitely driving that time.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "My Mother, The Car"}, {"t": "Stupid. Stupid chair. Very stupid chair.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Yeah, but isn't that why Grandpa's in jail, because he took things from work?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Leather chair? So, you're against stealing, but skinning cows is cool with you.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "I'm fine, by the way. Frankly, your concern is getting embarrassing.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Neither would I. What career?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Oh, the tricks. The little tricks.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "\u00c9l es zombi!", "c": ["Children"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. First you dump all over it, now you wanna know how it's done.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "the foyer or the kitchen.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "The loser. The fool.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Your legs look exactly like mine, and I just shaved mine.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "I'm gonna need a leather jacket when I'm on my hog and need to go into a controlled slide.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "But you have every day off. You don't have a job.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Which brother?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "She changed him as a baby.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "That's why she didn't look surprised.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Okay. That-That's about the creepiest thing I've ever heard.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "You're the only child who chose a spouse I liked, and she's the one who had to die.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "I guess you'll just have to decide which Lucille you want to spend your nights with.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Sounds a little bit like 'dating Mom.'", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "I think you're confusing scary with silly. This guy was frightening. He was in a limo.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "The legs... The bottom half of my saw-the-lady-in-half trick.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "God, I gotta stop giving these things away.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "The old top half quit when she found out I was sleeping with the legs.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "The legs are insanely jealous.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "She doesn't respect my career. / Okay.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Well, you get a false feeling of superiority.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Hey, guys. Oh, that's why.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Moo? Mmm. Moo, honey.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Maeby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "I can't say how or when... or where my wedding ring is...", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Something that says, 'leather daddy'?", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Oh, is there such a thing?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Well, you can't change who you are.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Gothic Asshole? That's what I said.", "c": ["Cab driver", "Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Oh, I am glad I didn't go with that outfit.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "You're no more in love with him than I am.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "I'm gonna fill that hole, 'cause we're in love.", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "You've stolen so many things from me over the years. This is the first time you've ever given something back.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "So what? So I don't have any hair on my arms or legs. So what?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "I'm not that nice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Where am I gonna get a pair of beautiful women's legs on such short notice?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Wiggle those sexy gams, lady.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "You guys are friends again. You can play bridge together.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Could you just... just separate?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "This really worked better with the chair.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "That was just my girlfriend and my nephew.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "I got a gig.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Storming The Castle"}, {"t": "Very proud... minus.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "C- minus. 'C' M-I-N-E-S.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Wow. How impressive is that?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "The bar for the refrigerator has been lowered, huh?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Minus. An 'A' gets him ice cream. He knows that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "And that's why you always leave a note.", "c": ["George Sr.", "J. Walter Weatherman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.77, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "I thought he was trying to get us off dairy.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "I might have been just a little too believable.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "I keep forgetting how hilarious you are.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "My gut is telling me 'No,' but my gut is also very hungry.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "We ought to put that on our family crest.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Not after we doctor all these receipts.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "I did refer to it as our nausea.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Well, now it's my nausea.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Because I'm... Don't want to.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Sometimes a diet is the best defense.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "This is a D-minus. Either way, it's above a 'D,' right?", "c": ["Maeby", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Is 'Lindsay' with an 'A' or an 'E'?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "I know you got a 'crocodile' in spelling, but this has gone too far.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Hmm. Nope, that doesn't feel right.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "I punish thee.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Oh, I have to come up with another thing?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Sleeves.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Dumb, dumb. Dumb, George Michael.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Your finger is still in the book.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Our. I mean, our... our nausea.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Buster was found two days later trying to eat his way through this enormous plaster donut.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Dad told me to take the day off, so I decided to come into work.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "She's your girlfriend? Dad said you were her nurse.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "I could put it on a tea biscuit, tell her it's a marshmallow.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "This place is pot central, right?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Big yellow joint. The big yellow joint. I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint.", "c": ["Singer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Here. Take 225 from me.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Go make mistakes, get in trouble... be young.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "And this is from when your Pop-Pop yelled out, 'Oh, Melanie...' when he was making love to Gangy.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "This is so much fun. I can't believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Oh. Pretty. It'll distract from the freckles.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "100. I accidentally said 200. I don't know...", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Really, a hundred dollars. You can't get good weed for a hundred bucks.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Maybe it was the other George Michael... the singer-songwriter.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Tell me before you hit the gas. I can't hear you! The kids are yelling. Tell me before you hit the gas.", "c": ["J. Walter Weatherman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "And that's why you don't yell.", "c": ["George Sr.", "J. Walter Weatherman"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioner running.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Dad, that's just... That's one night, and it's back in September.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "You've only been a Jew about two days.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "It's Tuesday. Shh, shh, shh.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "That was supposed to be for me. She was my au pair.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "I know, but it's an elephant... and I didn't want to invite the comparison.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "That chubby little wrist of yours... is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "I am like a caged animal. My old lady's on the floor, man.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Oh. Oh, I was talking about me. But, yeah, she's a mess.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Let's deal some drugs.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Drug delivery!", "c": ["Hot Cop"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Okay, you can put your shirt down, Derek. Just give him the stuff.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Let's get this party started.", "c": ["Hot Cop"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "I was gonna smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Why don't you just wait it out? She's gonna be gone soon.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "No, no! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! This guy's arm just came off and landed on the dock.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "And that's why you don't teach lessons to your son.", "c": ["George Sr.", "J. Walter Weatherman"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.69, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "So you taught me a lesson not to teach lessons? It was my last lesson.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "One of the Hot Cops is my choir teacher.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Like, say, I had a crush on my own cousin.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "You just taught me a lesson.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Big yellow joint. The big yellow joint. I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint.", "c": ["Singer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Pier Pressure"}, {"t": "Milford School credo: children should be 'neither seen nor heard' - Woman.", "c": ["Narrator", "Woman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "I'd like my old life back.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Everything I've said about you can be covered with makeup and a lie about a thyroid problem.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Sorry, Lindsay. There goes your dessert.", "c": ["Klimpy's waitress"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Buster so excelled at being neither seen nor heard that he remained at the school undetected for a full two semesters after he was supposed to graduate.", "c": ["Narrator", "Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Is this your onion? / Yes. / What's in the foil? / Nothing. It's a ball of foil for my son.", "c": ["Restaurant worker", "Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Race you to the top of the hill. / I'll race you to the top of the hill. / I brought a picnic lunch.", "c": ["Michael", "Jessie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "My relations are already a little too public.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "She's a cutie. She's a little cutie pie. But I never really noticed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "I have a job. / Kiss ass. / Well, we were all thinking it.", "c": ["Gob", "Lindsay", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Kiss ass. Well, we were all thinking it.", "c": ["Gob", "Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "When did you get a job? / At the banana stand. / Oh! Duh. I thought you meant like a plumber or something.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Yeah. Who doesn't love the Jews?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Who doesn't love the Jews?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Well, that certainly leaves me out. / She... She said single.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "to the jackal as to an oxen. Did it get a laugh?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "You know that he's only had sex with, like, four women, right?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "I truly believe that the universe wants me to be an actor and not a doctor. I'm just waiting for a sign. / Here's your cash. / Universal Shuttle picks you up at 8:00. / Any sign, really.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael", "Jessie", "Tobias"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Not wag our genitals at one another to make a point.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "You can always tell a Milford man.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Why would anybody pay more than $12 to go to the airport?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "You are Carl Weathers, the actor. / I went to San Francisco to attend your stage fighting workshop. / But you never showed up. / I got bumped from that flight.", "c": ["Tobias", "Carl Weathers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "You are Carl Weathers, the actor.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Hell, they'll give you $300 if you get bumped. It's this crazy loophole in the system that the wrong guy discovered.", "c": ["Carl Weathers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "$1,100 is exactly what I charge for acting classes. / No, it isn't! / Yeah.", "c": ["Carl Weathers", "Tobias", "Carl Weathers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "$1,100 is exactly what I charge for acting classes. - No, it isn't! - Yeah.", "c": ["Carl Weathers", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Universe, you've done it again.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "A tomb? / Or box. Box is... fine.", "c": ["Elderly person", "Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "What? / He's gone.", "c": ["Gob", "Audience member"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Wow! This Cloudmir's making me think fuzzy. I have almost no judgment at all. / 'Only one with a real job.'", "c": ["Lindsay", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "A date? This is a date now? I thought this was just business. / Can't it be a little bit of both? / How will I know which part of it is business?", "c": ["Michael", "Jessie", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Show me business again.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "So when those guys kept saying, 'Hey, you, boy,' that was me? I was the boy?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, I tried that earlier. I think it's still hooked up to the prison. / So when those guys kept saying, 'Hey, you, boy,' that was me? I was the boy?", "c": ["George Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "You and I are so different. It's like we're not even related. / That'd be amazing.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Bluth boys. / Bluth boys.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "So the two months on the bike, that was, what, for my health?", "c": ["Jessie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "No. I was just saying your name as you walked away. I didn't... I have no follow-up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Murder. - Who died? - My career.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Although he was spectacularly quiet in there. / You can always tell a Milford man.", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Although he was spectacularly quiet in there. You can always tell a Milford man.", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "I don't know if I'm cut out to be a... a De Niro... or a Regis or a Pinkett-Smith or what have you.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "I don't know if I'm cut out to be a... a De Niro or a Regis or a Pinkett-Smith or what have you.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Your wife works in a restaurant? Do they get a shift meal... or do they just pay half-price on select menu items?", "c": ["Carl Weathers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "And don't edit this for your broadcast so it looks like I'm screaming... 'I killed Earl Milford.' / Startling confession, tonight at 11:00.", "c": ["Gob", "News anchor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Don't send me back. They abuse us. It's not pleasant. / Earl, I have to take you back. It's the only way to clear my name. / You'll have a new name: Hero.", "c": ["Earl Milford", "Gob", "Earl Milford"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Hero. / That could work for me.", "c": ["Earl Milford", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "You'll have a new name: Hero. - Hero. - That could work for me.", "c": ["Earl Milford", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Daddy lost his shot at happy, and it's all your fault, Opie.", "c": ["Jessie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "She kind of reminds me of my mother.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "You're married to Carl Weathers?", "c": ["Random man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "I buy all my cars at police auction.", "c": ["Carl Weathers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "I don't need my son reading about us in the paper. / Oh, you and your son. Stop using him as an excuse for everything you do.", "c": ["Michael", "Jessie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Food fight!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "I didn't want to go to that school, and Jessie's a psycho.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Four women, that is kind of sad. / All right. Thank you. / I know you got married in college, but that was your sophomore year. You had your whole freshman year to...", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "He's resting, so... Oh.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "He's resting, so... Oh. Pick a card. Oh, boy.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Public Relations"}, {"t": "Anniversary? You asked me to throw a Valentine's Day party.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I deceived you, Mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Yeah. Well, if I show up with all that stuff... I could probably just get away with shorts and a T-shirt, right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Which is good 'cause I don't even have a tuxedo.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "There was somebody for a while, but it was too much of a brother... bother.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "That can't feel good.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Well, if you call not filing for divorce 'something right.'", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! There's still plenty of meat on that bone. You take this home, throw it in a pot. Add some broth, a potato... Baby, you got a stew goin'.", "c": ["Carl Weathers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Never once touched my per diem. I go to craft service, get some raw veggies, bacon, cup of soup... [Chuckles] Baby, I had a stew goin'.", "c": ["Carl Weathers"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I think I'd like my money back.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Just give me a sign. [Chuckles] First one's obvious. Okay.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "'Maybe tonight.' [Chuckling] What are the chances? [Narrator] Actually, 'Maybe Tonight' was a very popular candy slogan... and the chances were one in eight.", "c": ["George Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Just tryin' to throw stuff at my dad's head... But the wind keeps taking it.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Mother, you know I have class on Tuesday. Oh, how silly of me.", "c": ["Tobias", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Oh, well, I never say no to dinner, with a beautiful lady that is. Do you like ham? No. I love it.", "c": ["Carl Weathers", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Good grief. He sent us one of his idiot videotapes.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "You have got to learn to be alone. I cheated and I lied. And I whored around.", "c": ["George Sr. (on video)"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "This was supposed to be my anniversary toast. Yeah. And this was supposed to be my Valentine's Day party.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "[Lupe] You want balloons? Speech, speech, speech...", "c": ["Lupe", "Family"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "[Narrator] The family continued to chant, 'Speech, speech, speech'... for no one in particular.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "After all that, I was kinda hoping somebody would make a speech. Speech, speech, speech...", "c": ["Michael", "Family"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "[Chuckling] Don't forget my girlfriend. That's who I meant.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I almost said George Michael and Maeby. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I love you all, Marta.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I made a huge mistake.", "c": ["Marta"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "The man's psychologically incapable of taking all of his clothes off.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "[Narrator] In fact, Tobias was a never-nude. As of yet, the D.S.M. - IV has not acknowledged the affliction.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.71, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "On the other hand, I am doing it anyway... so let me suggest before you talk divorce, at least consider a separation.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I was gonna take her with me in the night. She's part of the bolt.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Yeah. I never want to look at Mom again.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Do you know she tried to set up my girlfriend with a man?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I'm a man, Mike! I'm a man. Can I throw out this yogurt?", "c": ["Buster", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Secondly, you don't want to take any chances with yogurt, Mom. Just let her throw it out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Wouldn't let me make love to her on Mom's bed. I don't even want to tell you what she wouldn't let me do to her in the car.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "She kept using this guy's name, like, 'Hermano.'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Let me tell you something. We're gonna track this 'Hermano' down, and we're gonna nail him. 'Cause if anyone's gonna go out with that girl, it's gonna be one of us.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "That's just the point. I mean, we're cousins. Gender has nothing to do with it. I mean, cousins can bunk together. That's why they call it 'bunkin' cousins.'", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "'Kissin' cousins.' We're not kissing! That's the point!", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I'm gonna sleep with my daughter, and you're gonna sleep with my husband.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "No, Mother! I can blow myself.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I thought you had class. My brother-in-law fires you... And you move in on my girlfriend?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "This is purely a social call. You know, just two adults gettin' a stew on, man.", "c": ["Carl Weathers"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I don't know what that means, but it sounds disgusting.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "You're replacing my mother.", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "\u00bfMi hermano? Ah\u00ed. There, in the green? Great, thanks. Gracias.", "c": ["Soap Opera Worker", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I've been dating an old lady.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "She's at the house. She's at the house! You're right. Right about what? She's there, what's going on? Who's with you? If it's Marta, say 'nobody.' Nobody. Well, now I don't know what's going on.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Maybe because you've only had sex four times. Four women! Not four times!", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "The competition frightened Tobias, which he felt he could use in his performance. Unfortunately this made him more confident... which frightened him again.", "c": ["Narrator", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Can I let you in on a little secret? Hmm? Having him in the next room makes me miss him all the more.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Mom, please. He's got a big-boy crush on Action Jackson.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "No! We may have to bolt.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "What? Is she not really related to me? Is she just some girl I know?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "You could have been sleeping with 'Frightened Inmate #2.'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "[Narrator] And that's when Lucille realized... That she just might like being alone after all.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "I'll give you what you want... if you give me what I want. Tell me everything you know about...'Hermano.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "S\u00ed, mi hermano. He's here? Shh. He's sleeping.", "c": ["Marta's Son", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "What does 'te amo' mean? I love you. Hmm. And who's in there? Mi hermano. Brother.", "c": ["Michael", "Marta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "What does 'te amo' mean? I love you. Hmm. And who's in there? Mi hermano. Brother. I've made a huge mistake.", "c": ["Michael", "Marta"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "So, you wanna go to the movies? Ow! I'll let you know when I get back from the lab.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "There's a shower scene? I have to be nude. Well, you don't shower with your clothes on, now, do ya?", "c": ["Tobias", "Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "Yo te quiero mucho. Yo te quiero mucho. Te amo, Marta. Te amo.", "c": ["Buster", "Marta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Marta Complex"}, {"t": "hermano in Spanish meant brother, and the person Marta was infatuated with was, in fact, himself", "c": ["Narrator", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "See if you can get it down to five.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Oh, get off the mount. You're coming home, guilty or somehow found not guilty.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "You're a good guy, mon fr\u00e8re. That means brother in French. I don't know why I know that. I took four years of Spanish.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Oh, who cares? Nobody respects him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I also like your hair and your face and your breasts.", "c": ["Marta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Gob is like the cock of the walk. But not you. You are so kind. You're sensitive, like a woman.", "c": ["Marta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "That's enough.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "He likes to make love to this.", "c": ["Marta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Not-Not-Not... Not... Not hot wrong. You know, regular wrong.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "While I'm doing my noble thing you could put those photos in a box, get rid of the wand... and we can do the wrong thing the right way.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Oh, great. And now you're mocking me, you selfish, country-music-loving lady.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Why don't you two just get a divorce and save us all a lot of grief?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "And then, of course, we couldn't conceive, so there was that famous ordeal.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Sometimes I wish we weren't even related.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, maybe we're not.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Dozens of times.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Tell you what, you may not be good with women, but you are great with other people's women.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I don't answer the phone, that doesn't happen.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "And it's all because of you, fratello. That's Italian for brother.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I think that was about being attacked by bears.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Hey, rich kid. Gimme your lunch money.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "You'd be a much bigger ball.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I want to dance. I want to make love to a woman. I want to get a checking account. I want to know what it feels like to get my face socked in.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I'm not here.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Tell him I'm fine without him.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Where is your head, Michael?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "We couldn't get that down, huh?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Let's see if they've beefed up my part. I got three lines!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually... When a man loves a woman... and he actually wants to make love, uh, to her...", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I'm gonna stop you. I know where you're running.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Tobias was a never-nude, which is exactly what it sounds like.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "What do you think I wear these for?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I was never actually clear on that.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I don't know... weird brother of prime rib.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Hermano means brother? Yeah. Well, sounds like hermano is about to get his ass kicked.", "c": ["Gob", "Buster"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Well, sounds like someone who you think's name is Tio... is about to get his ass kicked.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Mom wanted me to tell you... that she doesn't care whether you live or die, but if you're not dead... she would like to see you at the courthouse tomorrow in the blue sweater.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "She's not real. She was made in a cup. Like soup... a hundred and thirty thousand dollar cup of soup.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "How do you like them egg rolls, Mr. Goldstone?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "All I know is it took an extra year before we could add a den.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "You all right? Where am I? Am I in... two-thirds of a hospital room?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "If you liked her, I would have said, 'Go for it.' I do kind of like her. Go for it.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "My brother said we can do it. That didn't come out as romantic as I'd hoped, but...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I understand you not wanting to do it on film... but you can't even get undressed in front of me.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I know for a fact that there are two members of German Parliament. They're called 'nein wohlstandig' nude.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Look, how 'bout we do this together? You take off your shirt, and I'll take off my jacket.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Now all I need is a boyfriend.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "God, why am I the only one who ever comes through in this family?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Call it what you want. I'm tired of paying Lupe to clean one dish.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Oh, for God's sake. He's on his own for two days, and he joins a gang.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "These guys? Oh, I've got them for the afternoon. Besides, they're the only thing I have left to live for in this world.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "That's right... dull, nothing-going-on-upstairs... Michael.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Is that my belt?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "George Sr., having never heard his charges... listed consecutively in one sitting, panicked and ran with great intensity.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Stop it before someone gets hit in the face!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "That too.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Hit me in the face! Hit me in the face! Hit me in the face! Please! Hit me in the face!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I'm not totally sure who you are.", "c": ["Marta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "That's what it feels like to get punched in the face.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "This is all moot, because she never got a chance to know me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Well, it's effective. Yeah, it really is.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "I slept very well last night.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Beef Consomm\u00e9"}, {"t": "Michael was sharing his bed for the first time in years. Unfortunately, it was with his younger brother, Buster.", "c": ["Michael", "Buster", "Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "I don't think us sleeping together is working out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Absolutely. It's preemptive, you know, happens before something else. So... if you can predict aggression and you wanna squash it... I don't know why you're not typing?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Well, you just passed my ethics test.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Mmm. No ring.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "The S.E.C. was onto us. Your father thought it would make us look charitable. He must have forged my signature.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Well, maybe I'll get a son who will... finish his cottage cheese!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore. Yeah, that udder's been dry for a while now, hasn't it?", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Besides, when was the last time you slept with someone? - Buster.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Lindsay believed that George Michael wanted to fix up his father... so he could fill the role of his mother.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "You're my aunt. - That doesn't matter. Aunts can fill that role.", "c": ["George Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Lindsay had never been more proud of anything she had said in her entire life.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Yikes.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "That's a young, young, young, girl.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Oh... 'Nagarma,' you've got a mustache. Hey! I mean, you've got milk on your mustache. Oh. I mean, you've got a milk mustache.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "It's adorable. You look like one of those 'Got Milk' models.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "And I watch 'em over and over.", "c": ["Cindi Lightballoon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "I've also lost four pounds on your low-carb Bluth Banana Jail Bars.", "c": ["Cindi Lightballoon"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "That's a good place to start.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Hey, Linds, is it my imagination... or does this rape room have the same floor plan as our kitchen?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Did you meet Ms. Baerly yet, the ethics teacher? 'Cause I just did. No, not yet. Look, these are our cabinets.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "You'd think that would turn him off to the entire concept.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Mmm. No ring.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "I guess that's the 'Rrrr' of it. You know, so frustrating.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Yeah. But she's dead.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "God, why are we laughing? I don't... Well, it's the Mr. Daniels stroke thing... all over again.", "c": ["Ms. Baerly", "Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "You've got to strip them down to next to nothing before you can even tell.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "This is 'Annyong,' who your father and I have adopted.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Lucille could see that her son was concerned, even jealous. And she knew how it felt to be overlooked.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Yes. Annyong is your brother now.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "No, no. That was my Mom. She just had... a 'little Korean' dropped off. - Ooh, that sounds good. Let's have that.", "c": ["Michael", "Ms. Baerly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "This may not have been my best idea.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "You took something I liked. I took something you liked.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "'Nashbagerlajam.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Who's 'N. Bahn-Ahden?'", "c": ["Nazhgalia"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "You mean, you love her like... like she loves Saddam. - Right? - No, no. I mean, like, love her love her.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Your Uncle Gob slept with her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "He's not that exact of a target shooter, and he just kind of sprays it everywhere.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Like your cousin. - That's a bad example, but...", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "I defaced a rare book to get that picture of Saddam Hussein in a bathing suit.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Okay, that is our exact outdoor fire pit.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["running_gag", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Yes, Annyong. Your name's Annyong. We all know you're Annyong. Annyong. Annyong. Annyong.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Oh, great, another uncle to compete with.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Don't worry. George Michael's not in there. Those are the dumb kids.", "c": ["Ms. Baerly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "You really mean it? This isn't one of 'my wife died' jokes?", "c": ["Ms. Baerly"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "It was a preemptive strike. My brother would've tried to sleep with you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.71, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "He's pinching the camera. He's on to us. He's found the camera. Get out of there. He's got the camera. Abort! Abort!", "c": ["Police surveillance team"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Get the dog. Clean the dog. We are cleaning the dog!", "c": ["Police surveillance team"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "You're trying to steal from the wrong man. Watch your back, my little immigrant friend!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "So you're not letting him in because he doesn't share your perfectly shaped nose... your round eye-shaped eyes, your strong square jaw. - Thanks. You wanna dance?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Steve Holt"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "I slept with the ethics teacher. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "I slept with the ethics teacher. I'm sorry. - What are you talking about? - Lindsay told me that you liked her and I'm not proud of this... but... l... Mrs. Whitehead.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "In fact, Gob mistook the civics teacher... for the ethics teacher Michael was dating.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "Hey, uh, you wanna dance? - Sure, why not?", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "I can't believe that would have worked.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "That's exactly what I'll do.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Shock And Aww"}, {"t": "So this isn't bad, right? just like a normal Saturday. You don't have to drive so slow. I can ride my bike by myself. This actually doesn't go any faster.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Nice instincts, son. Good reflexes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "I ain't going to squeal, man. I ain't going to... Oh, I'm not frightened! God!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Lindsay, say something to scare me. ...me. Nope. Nothing. Thanks for trying though.", "c": ["Tobias", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "You know what I ought to do? I ought to check myself into a men's penal colony. Perhaps your father could get me in.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Which isn't a name... but the Korean word for 'hello'.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Buster had an unfortunate encounter in a photo booth on the wildlife-populated island of Catalina.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "We can't have them hanging around like freeloaders, looking for an easy buck.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Illusion, Mom. And I'm the president of that company.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "They made me apply for a membership card. It was humiliating.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Does that mean I have to go to your office to get mine, too, or how's that work?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Well, I usually ask Kitty, uh, but she's not around... and you're the only one here I've ever seen before.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "You quit college. Yeah, well, I had a job. What was the point?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Michael, it's Friday. Everybody coasts on Friday. It's actually Saturday.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Uh, Lindsay. Hello. The phones. Well, you said 'staff.'", "c": ["Employee", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Bob? Bob? Bob? Bob? Bob?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Yeah, I guess. Sorry. Yeah. I'm just bored. That's okay. I guess he just likes work more than he likes you.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "The warden could easily be black. Oh! Yes.", "c": ["Warden", "Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "And I can't put you into 212, because there's already another actor... researching a role in there... Steve Buscemi.", "c": ["Warden"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "And I can't put you into 212, because there's already another actor researching a role in there... Steve Buscemi.", "c": ["Warden"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "You know, that Kitty is starting to sound pretty damn sexy to me. Maybe I oughta... That was Lindsay.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "The guy's like the world's biggest chicken. I'm not a chicken. Yeah, he's not a chicken. He just doesn't like confined spaces, that's all. No, it's both.", "c": ["Gob", "Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "One of the guys told me to take my head out of my bottom and get back to work. My bottom!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Hey, pick up the pace, douche bag! Michael! You too, candy ass! 'Candy ass.'", "c": ["Construction Worker", "Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "What happened to the lights? Isn't this better? Doesn't this just wanna make you curl up and forget about the world?", "c": ["Employee", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "I told you, these people are sheep. All right? They'll wander off, and you'll lose the sheep. You've lost the sheep.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "In the parking lot, the employees boarded the bus... Lupe had rented for her family reunion... thinking Lindsay had reserved it to take them to lunch.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "So the employees headed off to Catalina... providing the surveillance team that had installed the lighting... with the opportunity they needed. The place is empty. All right. Let's get in there and bring this company down.", "c": ["Narrator", "FBI Agents"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Uh, okay, what say from now on we call you David Ben-Avram? What are you doing to my guy here?", "c": ["George Sr.", "White Power Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "There's the Jewish notion of heaven and that... that it can be attained here on Earth... and there is your belief in the cleansing power of the pipe.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Tobias, what the hell are you doing here? I'm here to study with you, to learn from you. Teach me. There's no teaching. There's no teaching.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "And who is this shiny building of a man? Oh, I'm very scared right now.", "c": ["Tobias", "White Power Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "He no have father? Older lady adopt him too? No, he have father. Father no love him.", "c": ["Annyong"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "I went to beach once. Next thing I know, I'm in crate next to pig.", "c": ["Annyong"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Hola. Is Rosa still alive? No? Hmm. Okay. This is not my day.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "You got paid? I thought we were all making sacrifices. Yeah, well, maybe it's time for some of those big shots at the Bluth Company... to start making some sacrifices.", "c": ["Buster", "Construction Worker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Don't listen to him. He'll never stand up to the man. He's a chicken. A chicken.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "My whole life you've called me a chicken, but that's over now. I have nothing to prove. That is not how a chicken sounds. Chickens don't clap!", "c": ["Buster", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm definitely gonna need a cushion.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Hey, who's ready to have some fun?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Where is... Where's my phone? I used it to dig the 'B' unit. You what? I'll get it. No, no. You're gonna ruin it! What am I doing?", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Great. Now we're never gonna finish phase three, and everything's gonna fall apart. This whole thing is gonna cave in, and we're gonna be left with a bunch of... Great. Now my sand castle has a giant pool in it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "He knew his father had always loved him... but at this moment, he was actually holding the proof in his hands.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Wow. Who won?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "I'm a professor of American Studies... at the University of Mexico City. I took a dance class there.", "c": ["Professor", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Well, let's discuss this bunking situation. You'll be sleeping under me for a while. I sold you for a pack of cigarettes.", "c": ["White Power Bill", "Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "Whoa! Whoa! What are you folks doin' on this part of the mountain? We're lost. Well, I can give you a ride back into town. Come on. Let's go. Buck, Banjo, get on up here. Come on, boy.", "c": ["Mountain Man", "Employees"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Staff Infection"}, {"t": "I'm intercepting some telepathic energy... that's telling me it's the eight of diamonds. That's amazingly close. Gee, I got it wrong.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "You know, it's a new trick, so I'm still kind of tweaking my nipples... The presentation was great.", "c": ["Gob", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "You might wanna button that shirt up. No, I'm good.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Wow. He's amazing. He hasn't done it, and you're holding a four of spades in your hand.", "c": ["Fan", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "I don't care. I'm loving the ride, you know?", "c": ["Fan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "There's not gonna be any coeds. There certainly isn't gonna be any magic. It is a path to a lonely life where people mock you. And you don't even realize it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Michael, I'm a magi... I see what you did.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "We're not Orthodox.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Kitty, isn't that your phone? No, I'm on the phone with your dad. That one's your line.", "c": ["Michael", "Kitty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Kitty, these are not the files I asked for. Oh, then I don't know what I shredded.", "c": ["Michael", "Kitty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "No, I have been Googling your father. So I've heard.", "c": ["Kitty", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "She's been out for two weeks with this chest thing... but she's had no problems cashing the checks I've been sending her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Buster got a perforated heart and Gob got that receding hairline... but you and I pretty much dodged the bullet.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "55/55. Deal.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "I sold you for a pack of cigarettes.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "There's only one man I've ever called 'coward'. That's Brian Doyle-Murray.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "What I'm calling you... is a television actor. Ouch.", "c": ["Tobias", "White Power Bill"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "A fact that took Lindsay and Maeby an hour and a half to ascertain.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Go! Go! It's not her! Drop the photo album! We're not in the photo album! Drop the pie!", "c": ["Lindsay", "Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Much better. Man, I was really stuffed up there! Up here, Michael. Up here.", "c": ["Kitty", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "having a margarita made in my mouth", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "I work for your father. You don't have the hiring and firing power. I absolutely do, and you're fired.", "c": ["Kitty", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "But take a good look, 'cause it's the last time!", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "That's the seventh nipple I've seen today.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "You don't fire crazy. You never fire crazy.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you paid for those, didn't you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Well, he's my twin brother. I can show you. It was funny.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Oh, God, there's nothing to hold on to down there. You're like a boy.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Tobias had even produced a videotape... but its brief success was due to its misleading name.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "You've got a little pocket there, Annyong. Annyong. That's not getting old.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Annyong", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "In fact, Lucille's mother had been dead for six months.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "She gained 10 pounds... there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Ninety-two years old, and she never tried pesto.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "If you'll be so kind as to expose your breast, please.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Don't worry. He's gonna be covered with a blue dot. He approached me.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Wow, you get really girlie after, huh?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "The Jews, I guess. Sure. But I think you need to look deeper.", "c": ["White Power Bill", "Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "I hate you! You hate White Power Bill. I hate the government! You hate White Power Bill. I hate my father!", "c": ["White Power Bill", "Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Like Dorothy. The Wicked Witch is dead. All hail Dorothy!", "c": ["Prisoners"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Who are you asking back, Michael? Me? Or these?", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "I've gotta get out of here. I'm a part of the story. I can't be a part of the story.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Say good-bye to these. 'Cause it's the last time.", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["running_gag", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Talk you off? Talk you off what, Pop-Pop? When's that voice gonna drop?", "c": ["George Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "If I clean it up, it's not really a sentence.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Call me the Tin Man. I'm a Friend of Dorothy's now.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "But if he makes it disappear, won't everyone see me standing there? Let's just sit quietly and consider how ridiculous that statement was.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "None of your damn business. Get the hell out of here. You don't have the magic in you! You never did!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "I bought you. Remember to let it steep for five minutes.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "So Frightened Inmate #2 isn't frightened at all. He's angry. He's a crabby old coot... and he needs love... just like everyone.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "I sunk it! I sunk the yacht! At least I think I sunk it. I mean, I blew it up, and I don't see it anywhere.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "$900,000 worth of insurance on it. And got rid of the evidence. How about a 'good job'?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Nana was on that yacht! What? You killed Nana! She's lying! She's been dead for six months. For about six months.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael", "Gob", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "You can't have it. It's in a trust fund for Annyong. Annyong.", "c": ["Lucille", "Annyong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Bluth Company. George Michael speaking, not Kitty.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "I don't need a real spring break. I really think I am much better off here alone in this office.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "She showed her knobs in the steakhouse, sir.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Altar Egos"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't read it. I just got it yesterday.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "F.Y.I., I'm trying to get back into the dating world.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Hey, you're not one of those silly men that's dressed like a woman, are you?", "c": ["Unknown woman", "Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "No, baby. I'm the real thing.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Well, you know, God doesn't care how big your teeth are.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "You could grind off about... I don't know... 30%, maybe more. Yeah, I wouldn't miss it.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Is that a shot at me? 'Cause that makes me want to read it less.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "He thinks he's a lawyer 'cause he played one in 10th grade.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "The Trial of Captain Hook", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Well, you left during my solo.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "considering she was repeating the ninth grade at the time", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream... you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "We're the only house on the block.", "c": ["Tutor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "More than five?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Let's say 'five'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "These are lawyers... that's Latin for 'liar.'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "How can something be 'no less than three' if it exceeds six? I mean, six is still more than three, right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "If you're pleading with me to have a drink with you, you can stop begging.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "I'm Maggie Lizer, as in 'Maggie lies her ass off.' One person laughed at that once, and I don't know why I keep trying it.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Maritime. Maritime law. Lawyers of the sea.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Chareth... Cutestory?", "c": ["Michael", "Maggie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "You got all the answers wrong. You know you, you even got your name wrong here. It says, 'S. F\u00fcnke.'", "c": ["Tutor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "what they want you to do is put an 'S' if you're single, an 'M' if you're married. I mean, most of us are all single", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Oh, there... there's six 20s here. - That's right.", "c": ["Tutor", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "How else am I gonna get to work? - You ride a dog to work?", "c": ["Maggie", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Well, it's tough with your hands in the way.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Uh, well, I have an irreversible case of ocular retinoblastoma. - Hey. I thought we said no more law talk.", "c": ["Maggie", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "I really can't see anybody right now. - Oh, well, I can't see anybody ever. - I'm blind. - I'm wasted.", "c": ["Michael", "Maggie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Come on. I took a blind woman home with no intention of dating her again? Please!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. - Yep. Yeah, that's it.", "c": ["Lucille", "George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "So you could run off with this great redwood of a whore?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "a major blonde who just majored in marine biology, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "I don't know what you mean. I can't imagine what that means.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "What's wrong with her? / Nothing's wrong with her. / She's blind.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "I'm Chareth Cutestory, a pirate lawyer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "You've just won the gold medal at the sexual Special Olympics!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Well, she was a darer. She's one of those girls who just dares you to do things. - You married her? - I needed a dare!", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Oh, wait! What time is it? Oh, God! 'Seal the deal.' My seal deal! I gotta get to Sea Land.", "c": ["Gob's wife"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "God! Do you ever listen to what I say? I'm sorry I don't memorize every word that comes out of your mouth.", "c": ["Gob's wife", "Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman. Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "So you didn't get a case of 'I just had a one-night stand with a blind girl'-itus?", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "three years is what I give them and then one of them dies and the other one is not too far behind.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "I can smell right through you, Chareth. You're reading.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Well, you know, I almost did strangle myself on my own prayer shawl. A self-choking for the ages.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Faith is not a fact! - Oh, yes, it is. You said so yourself in Caged Wisdom.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Cindi"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Faith is a fact. No. Faith is a facet. I almost said faith is a fact.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "I am going to trial because you don't understand what a blooper reel is?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "You can only get an annulment if you haven't consummated the marriage first. - Well, I guess I'll just stay married then... because we all know that I closed that deal, right?", "c": ["Barry", "Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "I couldn't breast-feed any of you kids because of that man!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "They still look fabulous.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Even when you slept with my sister, it was for a good reason. Got her to stop drinking, didn't it?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "We've got Lizer.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "What are you hiding from? You've got to call this off. You gotta get more time. Get more time. She can smell me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "That's the blind chick you slept with?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "The solution to all our problems is staring you right in the face and it can't even see you.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Please welcome... Surely F\u00fcnke!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "What about you? Don't tell me another pirate is still roaming the high seas.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "Three of the seals died on their way to Chad.", "c": ["Gob's wife"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Justice Is Blind"}, {"t": "And at his brother's suggestion, he gave a false identity. Chareth Cutestory.", "c": ["Narrator", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Hey, you don't get giant checks if you're healthy.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I figure I'll kill her off just before graduation. Just so everyone gets really sad before prom.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Not a lot of kids have B.S. these days. - What does that stand for? I don't know. It's B.S.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "The wife likes me in bright sweaters.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Just because I like it doesn't mean I have to wear it. I don't wear everything I like.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "'Consummated.' What is up with that 'prosecutie'?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "What is with the insane moral code in this family?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Honey, they're just heels. They can only support so much weight.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it beith me... thy sweet Lord.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Ah, le clumsy adolescence. It's a phase we've all been through. Except for me. I was like a cat. I always ended up on all fours.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Like a cat.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I might even be the main idiot. Well, I'm not the main idiot, but I'm the idiot in charge.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I'm blind, Michael. I'm not stuffed up.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I smelled you, baby.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Well, you lied to me. Chareth Cutestory?", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I know. 'Thou shalt not make up a name in vain.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Well, I know Maggie Lizer is adorable. You don't know what you're missing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "It's like we're making naughty sex even naughtier.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "'Be true to thine own self, and to thine own self...' 'Be true.' Yeah. Number seven.", "c": ["Maggie", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I had a really interesting date last night. A woman who actually works two jobs.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Uh, you. I was raising the children.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "When was the last time you raised children? Excuse me? I've got two in the waiting room right this moment.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "No. We have court day today. They take plea. Daddy come home. You out.", "c": ["Annyong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I just winked. It's a surprise witness.", "c": ["Officer Kelley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "He feels you've been sucking off this family far too long.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "it's gonna be shape up or ship up.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "This kind of agility? Let's go, little man.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Uh, I-I want immunity for me and my mom... and I want my dad to stay in prison. Also, can you send Annyong back to Korea?", "c": ["Michael (disguised voice)"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "He came back home once with a black statue... with an erect penis. It stayed in our living room until my aunt objected.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "This guy's wasting our time. Take away his grilled cheese.", "c": ["District Attorney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "The cat is in.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Justice cannot be blind, Doc. He's got a handle and everything. Come on, boy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I think she's been leading him around.", "c": ["Vet"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "'D.' 'B' places fourth. 'A'?", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Don't worry. You're so ahead.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Oh! I can't see!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Would that I could say that I wore it to impress you... but, no, I'm afraid it's merely a cloaking agent from a sadly blunderous afternoon.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Not just to me, but to all handicapped kids out there... who are sick and tired of sitting in the front rows at basketball games.", "c": ["Surely/Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Watch your head.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Surely, she has enough sight to catch the truth... before it hits her in the face.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "That was my plan. What do you got?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "No more B.S. No more B.S.", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I think I'm gonna go for... 'I was struck by the Bible and it restored my sight.'", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Well, the hell with this then!", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "I was made to understand there were grilled cheese sandwiches here.", "c": ["New prosecutor"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Missing Kitty"}, {"t": "Well, the thermostat is in my office. While it's freezing in here, it's still hot in there. So please continue.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "This is like the bayou in here. - I tried to tell you that. I guess I just had to find out for myself.", "c": ["Ira", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "You're asking Gilligan not to lie? Please call me Ira. I don't like Gilligan. Who doesn't like Gilligan?", "c": ["Gob", "Ira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Yeah, I don't think she'd go for that. Besides, I talked to Dad. He said it was stupid to get married in the first place. And he's right. He's right. I've gotta get rid of her.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Tell her that I'm insensitive and unreliable. Something about how you can never confront people. You need someone to clean up your messes. See, that's great. And that's just off the top of your head.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "I don't want to blame it all on 9/11... but it certainly didn't help.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Oh, no was right.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Dr. F\u00fcnke's 100% Natural Good-Time Family-Band Solution", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "We keep you alive.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "I don't know. I probably stole it. I mean, if he says it's missing, it is. Unless he stole it. Hey, maybe he stole it. He's the one that said it's missing. Yeah, I probably stole it.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Gilligan has promised me that all this money will be saved in I.R.A.s. - It's Ira, sir. - Oh, I'm sorry, Gilligan. Will be saved in 'Iras.'", "c": ["George Sr.", "Ira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "I'm fun. It's just that... Listen. The way to fix this Ira thing is not to buy him off. All right? It's to find out where the money went. You're no fun. Yeah. I'm plenty fun.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "I have always wanted a daughter. And a blonde. What fun.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Those are for his soccer team. No sugar for you. You just get more awful.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Hey, Adopted Brother. Do you think I could have a hit of that juice box?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "For 15 minutes. Then it burns when you pee, and your marriage goes to hell.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Some call me the human metronome. You notice how I'm always on time? I'm never late for things. Yeah, but I think punctuality is slightly different from rhythm. No, it's not. It's the exact same thing. It's knowing how long things take.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "We've been talking here for 28 seconds. Just so you know.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "It was like you knew every side effect I was going through at that time. Sadly, Teamocil has been discontinued. The sense of wellness it created in relationships was merely the first sign of complete pituitary shutdown.", "c": ["Fan", "Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "I smell olives!", "c": ["Gob's wife"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Are you hitting on me? Gob said that would happen.", "c": ["Gob's wife"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "You've got her hating me... at least your version of me, which is actually you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "It's like, so far it's been all chain and no ball.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "No, no. Your bachelor party's about convincing Gilligan that he's killed a stripper... getting him out of town so he can't testify... and making sure that people think that he took the money.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "That's why I want you to use this stripper... a narcoleptic, believe it or not.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "We wanted you to have the first piece!", "c": ["Yacht club friend"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "We are pushers, not takers.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "We are pushers, not takers.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Let's take it from loose stool!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Already down! Get your finger out of my throat! It's down!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "We get to stay at a hotel, get up at 4:00 a.m., slap on the old seasick patch. We're gonna get out there on the choppy ocean. We're gonna catch ourselves a little lunch. Oh, we get to eat it? After we gut it.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Because Buster's your brother... and I'm not gonna leave him home alone with all this J-U-I-C-E around. I can spell, Mom. You spelled 'juice.' Oh, you're so brilliant. Let's see you find it.", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Real fun. Okay? Not everything is strippers and booze and buckets of blood. Why do you guys have buckets of blood?", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Not everything is strippers and booze and buckets of blood.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "We have unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "We should be dressing like it's the '80s.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "You think you can handle it alone? 'Cause if you don't perform, we don't validate.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Oh, they think they're having fun, Son, but it's not lasting fun. It is fleeting fun, like a bachelor party. What we got here is lasting fun.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "I have a pretty finely tuned internal clock... which is why I'm actually such a good natural percussionist.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. 'Too proud?' What does this have to do with 'too proud?' Actually, that part was kinda just for you. I was just worried the whole thing wasn't gonna land unless I included the pride part.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "You told me to hire people to look like my friends. They're Hot Cops. They're entertainers. Although I specifically asked them not to come dressed as cops.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Hey! What the hell happened to the blood? Hey, Brother. Whoa! Somebody put on his lipstick in the car. I love juice!", "c": ["Gob", "Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Teamocil! You're out of the band.", "c": ["Tobias", "Fan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, he was unaware of the narcoleptic stripper confined within it.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "She died. She's dead. It was Gilligan! Gilligan killed the skipper... stripper.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Not again.", "c": ["Stripper"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "What does it matter? I screwed it up anyway. A complete failure. Can't even fake the death of a stripper.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "I might be a father.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "I might be a father.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "I'm in love with your brother. What? You did it again, you son of a bitch! No, no! She's... In-law. Tobias.", "c": ["Gob's wife", "Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Oh, my god. I killed Michael. Yeah, but on the plus side, you got punched in the face.", "c": ["Gob", "George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Let it ring.", "c": ["Ira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Best Man For The Gob"}, {"t": "Wow. Exciting, huh? - Finally getting some money. - What do you want, Lindsay?", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Mother's neck. - No, that was a good investment. It is easier to look at now, isn't it?", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I want to have an affair. Now, I'm not sure with who yet, but I'll need lingerie, waxings... These are some real costs, Michael.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I just feel like using my body. - Well, Lindsay, could you use it over there? I'm trying to grow.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "We had sex once in the last year, and he just laid there.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Well, if I'm gonna have an affair...", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I meant 'a matter of'L' and 'D'...' Life and death.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Buster's jaw clicks when he eats. I think it's what's driving his friends away.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I seem to remember a certain someone running to Mommy when his algebra teacher made an example of him.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "The next day, Mr. Vandenbosch was not in school. He was never heard from again.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Pop-Pop? Sorry, miss. Pop-Pop!", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "But with hair! Which is probably why he asked for my hair, remember? - Give Pop-Pop your hair! - Give me the hair!", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "tunnelled his way through a sewer line, and then stopped to get a candy apple on his way to Mexico!", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Do you know what it's like to have a sibling who has no source of income except for you? - just one? No. No idea. It sounds wonderful though.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "EspeciallyJordan. He's just waiting for me to screw up, so he can blow the whistle on me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Interesting choice of words, Mr. Jordan. He's right. We don't need a whistle-blower. We need a building full of whistle-blowers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "When you see something wrong, I wa... There you go. I want you to report it.", "c": ["Michael", "Board Members"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Let's wait till something actually happens though. Okay, good fun. All right. Hey. Enough! 45, 46, 47... Okay, there's still three whistles left out there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I just need to prove to my wife that I can act like a man. And it's not about sex. I don't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army? - No. Your sister's husband. - Michael? Michael! - No, that's your sister's brother. - I'm my sister's brother. - You're in love with me. Me! - I'm in love with Tobias.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I can't be expected to live on the $800-a-month army-wife stipend that I'm gonna get. They just don't support the spouses.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Well, I've always wanted to remake Annie Hall. Except I wouldn't want to get in bed with a green producer like a Sofia Coppola though. Oh, but give me an old pro, like a Robert Redford? Oh, I'd jump into bed with him in a second.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "And I wouldn't just lie there, Michael Bluth... if that's what you're thinking. - Actually, that time that was what I was thinking.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Come on! These salon wars have got to stop! - The war, Lindsay. The real war.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Stylist"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Lindsay was stunned, notjust that she was losing her stylist... but that apparently, there was a war going on.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "People love to carbo-load. - The bagel place. - There you go.", "c": ["Gob", "Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I guess that's a response.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "One on the lips.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I have lemons, I make lemonade. - That's a very positive attitude. I hate the lemonade business. I hate the grind. You have to grind so many... lemons.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "You're not a very metaphorical person, are you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "That was a song I wrote for David Cassidy; he was gonna sing it on The Mike Douglas Show. But he was too embarrassed to do it in front ofJohn and Yoko.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "This guy has got nothing in his life. He wrote one song that madeJoan Baez call him 'the shallowest man in the world.'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I mean, they run their... their tanks through there. Occasionally, they stop for a little lemonade, but what's that? That's a buck fifty. You can't make much from that.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Fellas! Fellas!", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I'm protesting the war. There's a war going on, you know? - Yeah, I'm the one who told you, and you said it happened ten years ago.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Maeby"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Actually, I used this one for Michael when he was too cheap to pay for the premium channels. But I added the bit about the stylists.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Have you seen the agricultural report? Nothing's hotter than coffee, so... the trend is up.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Gobias Industries. - Go bias. - As in, 'Go buy us some coffee.'", "c": ["Gob", "Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "This is the first any of us at Gobias Industries have heard of a land deal.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "He went around you, around the board... He steamrolled Gobias.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Maybe the worst bluff I've ever seen. Even the members of Gobias agreed on that one.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "This is where we're protesting? This isn't right. Where are the cameras? - They're in the free press zone", "c": ["Lindsay", "Officer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Well, we thought you broke out of prison and were on the lam with stolen hair.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Your father's calling from prison. He wants to talk about the land deal you made with his brother. I found this on your desk. Can I keep this?", "c": ["Secretary"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Thought we were seein' a gay marriage. - We can still hose 'em down.", "c": ["Soldiers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "All your water's doing is whetting my appetite for protest. No hair for oil! No hair for oil!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "And he should be, you know? He told me to pay off his brother, and I didn't. Instead, I bought his worthless land.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "What's this? What's happening? - It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. - Why?", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Let Mama take care of it. - No, no. Mom, come on. I don't want you to do anything. Hey! This isn't algebra. I'm a big boy. Mother! Do not make somebody dis... disappear.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Now there's someone who could have used a good mother. Whore!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "You still have the neck of a 20-year-old. - And you still have the hair of a lion.", "c": ["Oscar", "Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "You know about what I was saying about how people outlive their usefulness? - That was out of line. - I know. But you made a good point.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Why have we been spending so much money on whistles?", "c": ["Board Member"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I remember a young man who used to say 'But I don't have bad dreams in your bed!' - That was Buster.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "I want to be... a cage dancer.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "Smile.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Whistlers Mother"}, {"t": "HEY, DON'T FORGET ME. FOR WHAT? IT'S BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY. AND UNLESS YOU HAD A DAUGHTER I DON'T KNOW ABOUT, I'M YOUR GIRL.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "WELL, SHE'S NOT MY DAUGHTER, BUT IT'S ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'M GONNA GET. I'M A GOOD LITTLE GIRL.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "THEY'RE OUT OF SANITARY NAPKINS IN THE LADIES' WASHROOM.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "WEIRD KID.", "c": ["Office Worker"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "PRETTY SOON I'M GOING TO HAVE TO START WEARING A BRA. RIGHT, DAD?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I CANNOT KILL THIS JOKE.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "WELL, EXCUSE ME, MICHAEL, FOR NOT RAISING THE PERFECT DAUGHTER THAT YOU DID.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "AS A PSYCHOTHERAPIST, TOBIAS WAS ON THE FOREFRONT OF THE SELF-ESTEEM MOVEMENT.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "HOMOSEXUAL. MAEBY, PLEASE.", "c": ["Tobias", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "SHE'S RIGHT THOUGH. YOU PROBABLY ARE A HOMOSEXUAL.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "OH, BLESS HER. IT'S LIKE SHE KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO NEXT.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "GIRLS WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "NOT REALLY. KIDS LOVE BOUNDARIES.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "THE ONLY THING THIS GUY COULD MAKE FLY AWAY WAS THE CROWD. DOUCHE CHILL.", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "YEAH, WELL, IF YOU GIVE SOMEONE PERMISSION TO USE A TISSUE, YOU CAN'T BE UPSET IF THEY BLOW THEIR NOSE.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "ONLY TWO OF THOSE WORDS DESCRIBE MOM, SO I KNOW YOU'RE LYING TO ME.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "APPLIED FOR A JOB.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "WELL, THEY EXPECT A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF THEFT, MICHAEL. IT'S BUILT INTO THE PRICE. IF I DIDN'T TAKE IT, THEN PEOPLE WOULD BE OVERPAYING FOR NOTHING.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "YEAH, I'VE SEEN YOUR TAPE.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I DON'T KNOW... MY ASS.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "MICHAEL, IT WAS SHOPLIFTING, AND I'M WHITE. I THINK I'M GOING TO BE OKAY.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "THAT WAS ODD.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "DOUCHE CHILL.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "HEY, MAEBY! MAEBY!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "OKAY, SO YOU CAN RUN FASTER THAN ME. BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE ME WORK.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN HE JUST SAID ANNYONG.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "NO, HE'S NOT! I CAME OUT OF YOU! HE DIDN'T!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "DID YOU HEAR THAT EVERYONE? MICHAEL BLUTH IS THREATENING ME!", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "IN FACT, THERE WAS SOMEONE ELSE WHO LOOKED LIKE LUCILLE'S HUSBAND... HIS TWIN BROTHER, OSCAR.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "YEAH, MAYBE A NEW PAIR OF SHOES WILL CHEER ME UP.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IF YOU COULD GO ONE DAY WITHOUT TELLING A LIE. JUST ONE WHOLE DAY WITHOUT BEING LIKE YOUR MOM.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "AND 50 BUCKS. FINE. I'LL DO IT IF YOU DO IT. THAT-A-GIRL. THIS IS GONNA BE FUN. I WIN.", "c": ["Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I'M ON IT. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "OR AROUND TOWN OR WHATEVER.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "NOT ALIVE. OR DEAD OR WHATEVER.", "c": ["Officer Carter"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I CERTAINLY DIDN'T... DIDN'T KILL HER AND DROP HER IN A BACK BAY. BOY, I HOPE THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED TO HER. I'M SURE IT ISN'T.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "PLEASE SEND OFFICER DAVIS AND LITTLE HANNA TO THE BACK BAY.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "SO YOU KILLED KITTY, HUH?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "AND APPARENTLY A FUN ONE.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I THINK THAT'S HER RIGHT BEHIND YOU THERE.", "c": ["Office Worker"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I DO KNOW STAGE COMBAT IF THE PARTNER IS WILLING AND A BIT MORE PETITE THAN I.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "LIKE, UH, WERE-WERE YOU EVER AWKWARD AROUND GIRLS? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? LIKE IF THERE WERE THREE OF US AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO START?", "c": ["George Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "HOW MANY MICE WILL $13 BUY?", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "YOU WERE... YOU WERE JUST A TURD OUT THERE, YOU KNOW? YOU COULDN'T KICK AND YOU COULDN'T RUN. YOU KNOW, YOU WERE JUST A-A TURD.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "YOU MAKE HIM WISH THAT HE'D NEVER SHOWN THAT LUDICROUS HEAD OF HAIR... AND THAT NICE FACE OF HIS.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "NO TOUCHING! OH! HER SELF-ESTEEM IS THROUGH THE ROOF.", "c": ["Guard", "George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A DAUGHTER? I DON'T. I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO CALL YOU DADDY?", "c": ["Police Officer", "Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "OOH! CHILLS. WHY DO I KEEP GETTING THESE BRUISES?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "IF I LIE IN FRONT OF HER, IT COSTS ME 50 BUCKS. I DO THINK THAT WE SHOULD LIE.", "c": ["Michael", "Barry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT AMERICA... 13 BUCKS STILLS GETS YOU A HELL OF A LOT OF MICE. WHO SAID ANYTHING BAD ABOUT AMERICA?", "c": ["Gob", "George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "MICE! MICE! CALL SECURITY!", "c": ["Gob", "George Michael", "Store Customers"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "AND A SURPRISINGLY CATLIKE ONE.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "WHAT ARE THEY GONNA TAKE, THE ONE CAN OF COMET YOU'VE GOT IN THERE?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "OH, YOUR TONGUE IS AS SHARP AS YOUR BODY IS STILL TAUT.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "OSCAR, THIS IS A CHILDREN'S SOCCER GAME, NOT WOODSTOCK.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO. NO! NO! NO! I CAME HERE TO SAY SOMETHING.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "NO, SHE'S HAPPY. SHE'S JUST MEAN ALL THE TIME.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "ARE YOU NUTS? NOT WITHOUT A BETTER LAWYER.", "c": ["Barry", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "\u266a TOO RA LOO RA LOO RA \u266a", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I GIVE YOU EVIDENCE AGAINST MY FATHER, AND YOU PRETEND THAT I DIDN'T KILL KITTY? I MEAN, I-I DIDN'T KILL KITTY.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, THERE'S A GROVER BOOK... I CAN'T HOLD IT IN. WORKED FOR US.", "c": ["Officer Taylor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, THERE'S A GROVER BOOK... I CAN'T HOLD IT IN.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "IF YOU CAN KICK, FATTY. I'M A MAN.", "c": ["Kid", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I WASN'T SHOPLIFTING, YOU TWIT. YES, THANKS TO ME. NO. I WORK HERE. AT LEAST I USED TO.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "THERE'S ONLY ONE MAGICIAN IN THIS FAMILY AND THAT IS ME. AND YOU GOT CAUGHT BY A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL.", "c": ["GOB", "Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU COULDN'T PULL IT OFF. THERE'S ONLY ONE MAGICIAN IN THIS FAMILY AND THAT IS ME. AND YOU GOT CAUGHT BY A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "BECAUSE I'M NOT DAUGHTER ENOUGH FOR YOU.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "I'VE PUT A BOUNTY ON MY OWN HEAD.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "NO, IT'S OKAY. I'M DETECTIVE FELLOWS'S DAUGHTER. OH. OH, SORRY. IT'S FOUR-THREE-FIVE. AND THAT OPENS ANY DOOR IN THE BUILDING.", "c": ["Maeby", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "RELAX. THEY GOT NOTHING ON YOU. THEY'RE BLUFFING. KITTY'S ALIVE. I JUST SAW HER IN THE BACK ROOM.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "YEAH. I'D SAVE YOUR MONEY. KITTY'S GOT A LOT OF EVIDENCE, AND SHE THINKS THAT YOU TRIED TO KILL HER. SO YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO NEED A BETTER ATTORNEY.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "LO SIENTO. I HATE BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY.", "c": ["Maeby", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "LO SIENTO. I HATE BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY.", "c": ["Barry", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "WHERE IS EVERYBODY? HEADS UP, FATTY!", "c": ["Annyong", "Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Not Without My Daughter"}, {"t": "Popcorn? Really? Cool. Yeah, the hell with Atkins, huh? Oh. Yeah. Oh, why blow it now? I'll fry up some bacon.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Bees? Beads. Beads?", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Gob's not on board.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Z-z-z-z-z! Bz-z-z-z-z-z! We'll see who brings in more honey.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "He's thinking about bees again.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Hey, you put an ugly kid in, you can't be surprised when an ugly adult comes out.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Great. Before you know it, I'll be in the red. And you can take that to the bank.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Who'd want a bee as a gift?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Mother said no carbohydrate for you if you ever gonna get girlfriend that's not old lady.", "c": ["Annyong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Good to see you. You know what? Don't get too close to me. 'Cause I've got an itch you can't believe. I think something laid eggs on me.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "And now I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "He's got bees! No bees! Get it!", "c": ["Prison guards"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "You know, thanks to this diet craze, the last time we had a customer, the banana stand was still green.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Lose it. No, lose the whole kid. We'll just go with the Iraq piece.", "c": ["TV Producer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Can we please have one conversation that's not about my rack, Michael?", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Well, I want a hamburger and French fries, but I can't have the bun or potatoes. Get real.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "The book, initially unsuccessful, had suddenly caught fire, although, strangely, only in the gay community.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Well, that would've worked if you'd sprung for a bigger sink.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Some girl. I mean, she barely has a face. You couldn't pick her out of a lineup of one.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Now, a lot of this damage is just due to shoddy workmanship, but the real surprise here is that these homes appear to be American-built to begin with.", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Does that look a little like our kitchen island?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "There's a good chance I may have committed some light treason. This might even be considered light treason.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 9.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "What about macaroni... let me finish... salad?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "This is a side of you I'd never noticed before. Have they always been that big?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "He never told me where he was going, but he used to come back from those business trips reeking of lamb. And people would send figs... not even at Christmas. In the middle of October. Oh, and once, someone sent him a toe, and he went white as a sheet.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the first born. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "I've made a huge mistake.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "The Man Inside Me. For Lindsay, my rock. I could not have done this without him.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "For there is a man inside me, and only when he's finally out can I walk free of pain.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "I was hoping for more women. Perhaps I shouldn't have just used 'he.' I think that was a mistake.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "First time. I've never heard of a second.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "- First time. - I've never heard of a second.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? I don't need to brag that some people haven't even been on a date!", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Your mom had a good feeling about him.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get a lethal injection because my son won't eat a potato.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "You can shop... I love my... Can't breathe. I can't breathe!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "What kind of diet is this? It's too much meat. I want all of you off this immediately. Except you.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Also, Dale, one of the gentlemen from my reading, is a nurse here, so we were able to park right out front.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "I did. I have poison oak. Do you believe it? Where the hell did I get that?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "I'd rather not, obviously. Don't know what I'd say. Why do I have to be the one? I don't need this. Why does this have to become my problem? No. I'm out. Forget it. Find somebody else. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of doing everything for this family.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "I wanted to watch Hindsight, and you weren't there. I want to pack up and desert the family, and you don't want to. Is it this new girlfriend?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "The state or the police. Maybe the Magicians' Alliance will pick up some slack.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Ever since he's been dating this Annie McNo-face, he's been blowing me off.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "It's just glucose. We're all trying to stay away from sugar.", "c": ["Michael", "Doctor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Old bear! He likes the honey!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Heart attack never stop old Big Bear. I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had a chance to!", "c": ["Annyong", "Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "We lost him. He just, uh, got away from us. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Why would a doctor say he's 'gone' when he means he's escaped? God, I've missed bread. Mmm. Wouldn't you say, 'He left out the window' or, 'The room's empty.'", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "Maybe we should kiss again and teach them a lesson about obvious.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Let Em Eat Cake"}, {"t": "They're a bunch of greedy, selfish people who have our nose.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "And Aunt Lindsay. She's not my real aunt? Not her real nose. Got a picture of her when she's 14 in a swimming cap. She looks like a falcon.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "a feat he'd accomplished by using the family's portable stairway vehicle.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Actually, no, that's kind of what I thought until I heard about all that Phoenix stuff.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Yeah, like anyone would want to 'R' her.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Because, I mean, under her school picture, it said, 'Not pictured.'", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Okay, they printed a retraction in the Spring supplement", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Yeah, they had to postpone it when that foreign exchange student parked too close to the gym.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Better than part I have now-- Guy who ordered strike on Pearl Harbor.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "That's it. I'm out of here. Ta-da. I'm out of here. Problem contained. We've got the attacking animal down. I'm out of this family. Seriously.", "c": ["Michael", "Family"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Ta-da. I'm out of here. Problem contained. We've got the attacking animal down.", "c": ["Lucille", "Family"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "I'll kill her first.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "I've made a huge mistake", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "I've never admitted to a mistake. What would I have made a mistake about?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Lindsay. Instead of sleeping in twin beds, why don't you and your husband take the master bedroom?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Now, do you want to steer? or are you too old to sit on you pop's lap and drive?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Do you have any cookies with no preservatives?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Yes. A father figure.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "No, I know, I now. Everybody says, 'Leave it alone, leave it alone.' Does this look contagious to you? Hey, kiddo.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Oh, man, I wish you hadn't said Phoenix.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Uh, it's not Aunt Lindsay's nose. Yes, but no. Don't-don't tell them we were going to... We say we don't need them. Oh. Yeah. Okay. The new one.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "It comes from knowing you're toned and fit.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "I see you've found an exercise tape made for people as lazy as you are.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Nice to be back in a queen. It's too much pressure. I can't do this.", "c": ["Tobias", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Well, did it work for those people? No. It never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Well, tell him I like what I see.", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "In three hours, Gob had done $45,000 in damage.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Oh, I think it's the massage table in the break room now.", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "For the same reason you should believe that a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "It's a gaming ship.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Star two. At the same time? No, just the star, in the corner. Star... So if I do this like that... No, turn your hand the other way. Oh, that star.", "c": ["Gob", "Employee"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't the boy who cried Phoenix.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "I want you.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Well, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think that was a possibility.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "More than you'll ever know.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Yes.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Only in color, Michael. Only in color.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "I'm afraid I just blue myself.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "There's got to be a better way to say that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "It looks like he's dead, or he is dead? It just looks like he's dead. He's got, like, blue paint on him or something. But he's going to be fine.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "It looks like he's dead. Oh, my God! Oh, little guy. The tears aren't coming. The tears just aren't coming.", "c": ["Doctor", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "This ( bleep ), Doctor. Hey, we want this comped!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "The tears aren't coming. The tears just aren't coming.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "Hey, we want this comped!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "You made a huge mistake.", "c": ["George Sr"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where Michael Leaves"}, {"t": "He even did so for the prison he built... and, somewhat ironically, would later occupy.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "That's like, what, like a million diamonds for $400? A million- diamonds.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Or should I say 'Bluepies'?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "In fact, neither Lindsay nor Tobias did have the guts to go through with it. - I already have. - I have too.", "c": ["Narrator", "Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Lindsay at bar failing to get anyone's attention while Tobias watches", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Who? Ann. You know, she's- she's the girl I'm kinda hanging out with. - I haven't met Ann. - Yes, you have.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Hey, you! She's got a little hard-boiled egg going there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "She calls it a mayonn-egg.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "It's Ann. Her na- all your money getting her all glittered up for Easter.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "all your money getting her all glittered up for Easter.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Dad may have illegally built some homes in Iraq, which is kinda not cool.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Paper covers rock. - It is a rock though. It should beat everything.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "There's not a lot of logic to it. It's like on a boat with 'Women and children first.' Why should they-which, before I forget, I'm buying a company boat.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Oh, I'll make you a firm offer. Unfortunately, she wasn't flirting.", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "The Seaward. - You're not getting a boat. Get rid of the Seaward. - I'll leave when I'm good and ready.", "c": ["Boat saleswoman", "Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Fine. But rock sinks boat.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Mother? Mother! - I heard zoo noises. - It's nothing. Go back to bed.", "c": ["Buster", "Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "My- Reproductive organ... is shaped like- a lobster tail... but without its shell, hmm?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "But Buster had miscalculated the army's current need for personnel. Okay, then, let's get you fitted for a uniform.", "c": ["Narrator", "Military recruiter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "I mean, we're all out of 'prophylacticos' anyway. Somebody used the last two on his feet to walk across the bathroom floor.", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Gob was hurt. - Bye, Pop. Oh, for God's- I called to talk to Michael, you horse's-", "c": ["Narrator", "Gob", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Portugal. Down South America way.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Marijuana? No, no. That's my brother. 'Brothero. Brothero.'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Uh, uh, uh, you get out. Get out. Get out. Out, out, out! No homeless in here! - Homeless? You're homeless? You're gross. Oh, God.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Now which pinkie do you use less?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "I said, 'That's why you're no longer president.' Two weeks. Let's do it in two weeks. Hey!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Solid as a rock. Meet Starla, the new Bluth Company business model... for our phase two campaign.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Lucille Bluth, caught on tape breathing life into a homeless man. The surprising home video at 10:00.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "I wonder if he even has an apartment or- Perfect. He's not a real man.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "My God, I was beaten up here. I'm telling you. I'm George. I'm not Oscar. I'm George. - The Cornballer. - Ss\u00ed. The Cornballer.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Mexican police"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Well, at first, I thought you were kind of hot, but I hadn't looked closely enough.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "I wanna buy Ann some diamond dust. I'm just hoping to get mildly injured, so I can get out of the army.", "c": ["George Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Where's your 'P'? What? Oh, no, not again. I got it.", "c": ["Starla", "Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Hmm? L- the business model. Actually, they just made out. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "I just wanted you to be impressed with me. Dad never was. Never said a nice thing about me.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "A house truly solid as a rock.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "I got the wrong homeless man. I am sorry. I was looking for Lindsay.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "I don't agree with your dirty doings here... but I will defend with my life your right to do it.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Gob charged at Michael with the scissors... but Michael, as he always did, picked rock- Which beat scissors.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "That's Ann. Who's- It doesn't matter.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Did I hang up? I meant to hit speaker. Oh. You gotta hit the line first. I'm hitting both at the same time.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Hello? They hung up.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Look. You're a really nice chick, but I'm not homeless. I'm Tom Jane.", "c": ["Tom Jane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Look. You're a really nice chick, but I'm not homeless. I'm Tom Jane.", "c": ["Tom Jane"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "You're really sweet, but, no. I'm Tom Jane.", "c": ["Tom Jane"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, well, I ran out of blue, and I couldn't find anything else. I think my nipples are bleeding though. I don't know if you're supposed to use quite this much.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "I think I need to go to the hospital right away and see if I can't get some of this diamond dust vacuumed from out of my lungs.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where They Build A House"}, {"t": "What have you got there? 'Don't be afraid to make a mi-' I'm not gonna beat myself up over that.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "And I'm not afraid to make mistakes. Or have you forgotten this little- Damn it!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "My legs are so powerful.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "'Circumvrent' union penalties. 'Circumverate.' Circumvent. Circumvent. Means to go around. The old reach around.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "When you said you wanted photocopies... I thought that you meant you wanted them on a photo printer.", "c": ["Starla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Starla's photo printer copies - tiny photos instead of photocopies", "c": ["Starla"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Flashes of Quincy. Starla claimed to have had a relationship with music legend Quincy Jones.", "c": ["Starla", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Isn't he a little old for that? No. Sorry. I've been looking to get some alone time with him, and it just hasn't seemed to work out lately.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "I've got friends, Michael. I just don't talk to them because... I work all the time.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "I think the plant lady's wearing a thong.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Please. Allow me. I'll just 'circumvrent' you.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Don't get up. I just a-find-a the supplies... because I'm a- Private detective.", "c": ["Gene Parmesan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Gene! Oh, Gene! Isn't he the best? Gene was far from the best.", "c": ["Lucille", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "You get the country for free. The city-That's gonna cost ya.", "c": ["Gene Parmesan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "It's a $200 fine. Oh! I feel like such an-", "c": ["Gene Parmesan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "I still can't believe he's going into the army. You know, he's doing it just to spite me. Then why are you throwing him a party? Just to spite him.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "You guys have such a healthy thing going.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Right here. I counted it. Come on.", "c": ["Gene Parmesan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "I think I might have someone who's going to 'cirsumvrent' the law.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Ann. Here. You took this picture of us... in front of that bagel place before it was burned down. I guess I thought she was with another family.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "It's like you spend all your time with her. It's like you're hoggin' her- like you're a little Ann hog. Okay? Don't be such an Ann hog.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "\"Ann hog\" - Michael's made-up insult", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "And 8:01. Curtain has risen.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Might as well keep this makeup on since it takes so- long to get off.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "First of all, we are doing this for her. Okay? Because neither one of us wants to get divorced. And 'second-of-ly,' I know you're the big marriage expert-", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Oh. I'm sorry. I forgot. Your wife is dead.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. That was 100% inappropriate, and I do apologize profusely.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Chiclet? Chiclet? You're the Chiclet! Not me! Unfortunately, in Mexican culture... this was a much more inflammatory gesture.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "That's so you can videotape it... when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "I ought to point to Uncle Oscar's Charlie Browns... next time you're on top of him, Mother.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Yes. And she's not having an affair with the boy's... uncle.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Well, this, uh, is a blueprint... of Dad's face. She used the big printer. I'll give her that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "He's my friend. You don't have any friends. I have lots of friends, Lindsay.", "c": ["Gob", "Lindsay", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "In fact, the man was Ice, a bounty hunter... that Gob hired to follow Michael. Ice may be my best friend.", "c": ["Narrator", "Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Ann Hog's coming? I thought it was just the two of us. Just Ann.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "In fact, at that moment, Buster was climbing into the trunk.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Mother, when you see this videotape, you'll know that I left. Not out of cowardice, but out of- Oh, man. It's tiring in here.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Mexico. In fact, he was in Santa Ana... a town six minutes inland from his own.", "c": ["Buster", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Oh, this shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Hey. Check out who's on that hog in the rearview mirror.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "The Ice. Still on his tail, about 20 miles from LEGOLAND.", "c": ["Ice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "You're not my friend. You're a client. Gob realized that perhaps he really didn't have any friends.", "c": ["Ice", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Buster get in trunk of car. So he's not going to the army. He must have had Michael sneak him into Mexico.", "c": ["Lupe", "Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Here's some money. Go see a Star War.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "It's just some idiot with balloons. Oh, is it? I knew it!", "c": ["Gene Parmesan", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "I never thought I'd miss a hand so much. You people are just like me.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Oh, Ann? I just- You know, I barely know her. You know? Neither of us do. She's just really some girl as far as we're concerned. Right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Hey. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I know you. You're Gob's friend. Not friend. Bounty hunter.", "c": ["Michael", "Ice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Name's Ice. Gob hired me to stop you from fleeing the country.", "c": ["Ice"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "No, this- That's actually him. He's just- He's much smaller in real life. I can see that's a man.", "c": ["Michael", "Ice"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Ye- Oh, yes. Thank you. No, I found my birth control pills. Thanks for asking, Dad.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Of course he will. She's a child. Well, that- that part's not really her fault.", "c": ["Maeby", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "At no point... were Michael and Maeby talking about the same person. And there were only four people in their group.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "And it's not a race thing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I'm going with you. I am one of you now. Ss\u00ed?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Yeah. Great talk. That cousin of yours is a hell of a girl. Too bad you can't date her. No. I meant-Wait, you wouldn't have a problem with that?", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Michael had just discovered he'd left his son's girlfriend in Mexico.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "if I blue myself early... I'd be nice and relaxed for a 9:00 dinner reservation.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Well, according to my photograph... it is. It's an honest mistake. Also, I think your knee is on my heart.", "c": ["Ice", "Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "I was just hoping to have sex with you. Why am I not blacking out?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "This is great. We're like slave buddies.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Actually, I was sitting right there the whole time. Yeah? Way to plant, Ann.", "c": ["Ann", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "That's his girlfriend? Yeah. Is she funny or something?", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's right, Michael. I went to our mother because I don't have any friends.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Sorry. I did see him coming. It's just... I kind of wanted to see where you were going with that.", "c": ["Gene Parmesan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Buster's accidental return home - newspaper delivery reveal", "c": ["Buster", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Wow. You really got to know her. Well, we did spend three hours together in that car ride. So, what'd you think? I don't like her.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Make love in your own hand, Mother!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "Thank God! A new doctor. Finally we can get a straight answer in this place. Uh, I've got some bad news. I'm Gene Parmesan. How you doin'?", "c": ["Tobias", "Gene Parmesan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Amigos"}, {"t": "His name's Gary, and we don't need any more lawsuits. No, I was talking about the magazine- Wait. Gary's gay?", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "You've got a nice mouth. I'd kill for that ass.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Okay, the chair's not doing it now... but lately it's been giving out as soon as I lean back.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "I was gonna boil myself alive into a chowder and then be ladled into a giant cauldron... to entertain and feed the firemen.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "And I'm halfway to getting out of this office and into a steaming bowl of soup.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Oscar, close it. You look like the window of a butcher shop.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "See? That's a perfect example of how your father's always interrup- [Vibrating]", "c": ["Ann", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "I didn't wanna say that when you were talking to Egg.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Oh, she's still goin'?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "I am surprised, though, that she's going after somebody so similar to my own type. But I suppose we all do expose our inner desires, don't we? I think you just did.", "c": ["Oscar", "Tobias"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "I'm sorry- he killed a guard? No, the guard killed him.", "c": ["Michael", "Ice"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Okay, again, I'm a caterer... so if you do have any family events- weddings, wakes- I'll leave my card.", "c": ["Ice"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Who left the cap off my- [Bleeps] Glisten?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "I will be buried in my father's place... and then, one week later, I will emerge from the grave... in one of the greatest illusions ever! This about getting into Poof? I mean, how does that not get me a cover?", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Because you're twins. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "What? What? Is Ann telling everyone?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "For those other guys. You think there are other guys?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "For those other guys. You think there are other guys? I don't know what I'm saying.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Black humor. Say, 'Hey, Dad, look at you. You're... a year older... and a year closer to death.' Oh, yeah, I guess that's kinda funny.", "c": ["Gob", "Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. I used to be a stripper. Strippers don't wear clothes. Not at the end of the show. You can wear stripper clothes when you're not stripping? You tell me.", "c": ["Gob", "Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Hide me. Don't turn in Pop-Pop. Help Pop-Pop.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "I have, uh- I have money.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Listen, if you pass a mini-mart, Pop-Pop gets a treat?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "I was just gonna eat some of my grandfather's favorite foods in my room. It's the form that my grief is taking.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "From who, the Nazis?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "I tried it with Mom's, but I'd just end up smiling and ruining it.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Here comes John Wayne. I'm not gonna cry about my pa. I'm gonna build an airport, put my name on it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Hey, where the- [Bleeps] Are my hard-boiled eggs?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "'Someone wanted to send you a birthday greeting. See you soon!' Oh! That is wicked.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "I'm gonna throw on a skirt, take off my underwear and make your Pop-Pop proud.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Her? She's really funny. Well, let's hope so.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "It wasn't a message. We talked.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "To get the top right, the pants had to be a little snug.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "How many times I gotta tell this kid chicken wings?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Glad Dad wasn't around to see that.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "The mere fact that you call making love 'pop-pop' tells me you're not ready.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "The mere fact that you call making love 'pop-pop' tells me you're not ready.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "Dead father? Is he de- Dad's dead? Oh, my God! The card! The card!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "I can't seem to give this away.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "The great thing is, she was so moved by what you said tonight that we're back together. Ah! Yeah! Oh, is that great.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "[Preview: Buster finds out about Captain Kangaroo's death]", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "No, Pop-Pop does not get a treat. I just brought you a- [Bleeps] pizza.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "No, Pop-Pop does not get a treat. I just brought you a- [Bleeps] pizza.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Good Grief"}, {"t": "It's a whole new beginning. A new day, a new case, a whole new set of lies.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Michael was lying. He found his fugitive father earlier in the week, and he was hiding him in the attic", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Those are the whites only, yes?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "I'm being lied... on.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Wow, now more is going to come up than go down.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "She's just so... loving and affectionate. I-I... this is not the woman I fell in love with.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "This is the nicest she's been since she found out that Rosa could breast-feed Buster.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Aren't you supposed to yell at me and call me 'homo' and motivate me over this wall?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "We can't do that anymore. Lawsuit.", "c": ["Drill Sergeant"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "It was a recent ruling, prosecuted by the same man who Michael was soon to meet with.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "It's going to be a long time before Sergeant Wendell Baker calls someone 'Private Homo' again.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "God willing, he'll fail boot camp. Well, why wouldn't he? He already failed day camp.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Ann got you a B-minus?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Well, it wasn't Ann. She's an expert in math. - Isn't that cute? - Is it?", "c": ["George-Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Michael felt his son was setting the bar too low with his dating standards.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Oh, George-Michael, never settle for fifth choice. Something better is going to come along. She just has to.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "You know, she's just so pretty... I get distracted, I guess. - Do you?", "c": ["George-Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "I wish I could draw her nose.", "c": ["George-Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Maybe it's your eyes. Maybe you need glasses. For your grades.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "I just found out that my cellular telephone was a lemon. It didn't work.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Coincidentally, neither do you.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Pretty brave card for you to play.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Lindsay had been frequenting singles clubs, also still hoping to make her open marriage work... which it won't.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Lindsay, it's not a competition. Of course it is, Michael. That's why they call it 'scoring.'", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Maybe in the '70s. That many? We've only been doing this for a month.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "- Who is it? - Steve Holt!", "c": ["Maeby", "Steve Holt"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "- Is this your sister? - No... but you just made my day.", "c": ["Steve Holt", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Who is it? Steve Holt!", "c": ["Maeby", "Steve Holt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "And had been for several years.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "I can't promise you I won't tell the prosecutor about that.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Are you wearing my dead wife's maternity clothes?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's the only thing I could find. Where are the eggs? Doctor says they're bad for the baby.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Do I look like a criminal mastermind to you? How do you get this ham open? I can... I can't get this ham open.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Oh. Oh, look, it just peels off. Isn't that clever?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "One or two? Two. No, no, one. Okay, two... Or three? Three. Unless three is too much of an improvement. I'm sorry, is one... is one in the mix still?", "c": ["Eye Doctor", "George-Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "The Patriot Act. Read it.", "c": ["Wayne Jarvis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "He's twice tried to microwave a Ding-Dong while it was still in its foil... twice. - Twice? - Two times.", "c": ["Michael", "Wayne Jarvis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "He knows less than anyone we have ever questioned.", "c": ["Prosecutor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Gob knew too little to know that, however, and his confidence had never been more shaken.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Twice? Two times.", "c": ["Wayne Jarvis", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Did you follow any of that? Yeah, he's hinting that he's going to grant me immunity, but only on the condition that I turn in my father.", "c": ["Barry", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "If you know, give me a high five.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "If he's got a shot with her, just give me a little tap on the fanny.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "I'm a lot more competent than you can imagine. Oh, I forgot to take the tinfoil off, too. I really wanted that.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "And it's so nice not to have to worry about getting pregnant. The doctor said I couldn't be a mother now if I tried. And that was without even interviewing me.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Because that's what you are: a hot-tie.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Stop me from pouring this on myself. I can't take this anymore.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Is that her rape horn? It's more like a starter's pistol.", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Oh, well, I'm much, much, much older than 15.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "You made my day again!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "She's not my mom. But she said you were her daughter. His daughter. That's my dad. That's a dude? And the worst part is he thinks he's passing.", "c": ["Maeby", "Steve Holt"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "And the worst part is he thinks he's passing.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Like a little girl. In a little dress. Little saddle shoes. Little pigtails.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "That's a breast pump, Dad. Oh, well, I did not use it for that.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had.", "c": ["Wayne Jarvis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. - About my father. - He's guilty, Michael, of medium to heavy treason.", "c": ["Wayne Jarvis", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "I just, uh, I just want to have sex with you. That's, that's all I'm good for.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "You smell like a pine cone. Yeah, that's the weed.", "c": ["Lucille", "Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "I'm on mushrooms! I'm on bad mushrooms!", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "I'm on mushrooms! I'm on bad mushrooms!", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Those bastards. I did not say that.", "c": ["Buster", "Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Climb that wall, homo! Climb it.", "c": ["Drill Sergeant"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Now, when you do this without getting punched, you'll have more fun.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Well, the 'B' got you glasses. Maybe this time you'll get a neck brace.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Oh, I told him she was a tranny.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "This close, they always look like landscape.", "c": ["Wayne Jarvis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Those are balls. What? This close, they always look like landscape. Nope, you're looking at balls.", "c": ["Michael", "Wayne Jarvis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "I'm on TV.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Yeah, I don't think you need glasses, son.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Although I'm sorry that you feel you have no love in your life. I don't feel that way anymore. Thanks. It's been a long time since someone stood up for me.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Thank God-- my cutoffs! There were cutoffs up here?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sad Sack"}, {"t": "Except his shoes don't fit. But, I did finally got into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken out a little bit.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Worse that can happen is I can spill some on my $3,000 suit. Come on!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "They used to roast Dad 'cause they thought that he had a sense of humor about himself, but he didn't, and neither do you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Into the kitty! He is awesome. Meow.", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "I've never thought of you that way. / That's sweet.", "c": ["George Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "I will be head to toe in blue makeup until 8:01 in case the Blue Man Group needs their understudy", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "People hear the name Tobias, they think-- big black guy. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "It's Ann. / It's good. Have fun. Boy's pulling away from you. Are we having yams?", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "You complained all the time, and she was my only wife. And she died.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "That means she's not getting any from my brother Oscar.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "First I blow him, then I poke him. Guy has no idea what he's in for.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "He calls it a quest to recharge his chi. I call it an excuse for him to score his pot and wag his pickle at coeds.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Oh, that's ridiculous. I want you to move in with me.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Michael, a mother doesn't have a child to give herself company. Annyong was to teach Buster a lesson.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "I can't change a hundred.", "c": ["Bus Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "That could be good for Army.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "That's about the worst thing I've ever heard. / I had to drive because she had a little bit of a buzz on.", "c": ["Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "I just don't want people's kids getting their sticky little fingers all over these 26,000 dollar pants.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "So, should-should... should, uh, should... Should-should... Sh-sh-sh... Should-Should... should, uh, should...", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice (bleep)ing or (bleep)ing of finger (bleep) or (bleep)sting or (bleep)ing or even (bleep). Even though so many so many people in this office are begging for it.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "I'll take off my pants, I'll shave my (bleep). And I'll personally (bleep)...", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Everybody dance now!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "There's no shame in being a coward. / A coward? I'm not a coward.", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "How the worm has turned.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "You have 101 unheard messages. First message.", "c": ["Voicemail System"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Oh, if you're worried about my husband, it's fine. He's no bigger than a Cub Scout. You could take him, and you could certainly take me.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "This has been pleasant and professional. Good luck in the coming business year.", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "It is the worst Christmas party I've ever been to in my life. Now, watch this.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Jesus, bleibet meine Freude / Meines Herzens Trost / Jesus wehret / Allem Leide...", "c": ["Ann's Family"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "No, no, they said I could leave for the second hour of silent prayer.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "that 'Afternoon Delight' was more adult-themed than its innocent melody would have you believe.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "And the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting / Skyrockets in flight...", "c": ["Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 9.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Seven grand-- you better believe I love them. I mean, look... look what you're wearing. You look like crap.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "(bleep) you, Tom.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "No, you know what, you're fired. No, you're all fired. Each and every one of you. Merry Christmas.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "The guy who's dirty dancing with his niece is going to tell the guy in the 36...hundred dollar suit how to run the business. Come on.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "I walk in and there's a colored man in my kitchen. / \"Colored\"? What color was he exactly? / Blue.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 8.67, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Um... maybe a little \"Afternoon Delight\"?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named \"Afternoon Deelite,\" a strain famous for slowing behavior.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "which way do I try to get it in her? / I don't need any details. / Maybe I'll put it in her brownie.", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Oh, I got blown! So I can't sleep!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Sure-sure, the guy in the $600 banana suit. Come on!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "And I think I might try nibbling a little afternoon delight... / That's my wife and nephew!", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "We have an open relationship!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Hey, Mikey, relax. It's just a giant banana.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "They're laughing with me, Michael. They're laughing with me.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Hey, it's Tobias. Who wants to take me to the hospital?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Does not seem like it would be that dirty. / It is catchy. That's the thing.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, he can't hear it and his life stays the same.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Afternoon Delight"}, {"t": "I think he'll be pretty impressed, knock on wood. [Michael knocks on what sounds like hollow wood/fake surface]", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Ann? Hmm. That'll play well with Sitwell. 'Where's your son?' 'He's out with Ann.' 'Who's Ann?' 'Don't ask me, I'm just the boy's father.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "We know what we're doing. We don't need any help from him. [Clatters] Damn it. This thing got pushed in again.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Say it in my own words, okay? Smart, but not too smart. Let's have a four-syllable max.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "They make a mistake once, they shan't make it twice. Oh, here I go!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Don't worry. It has not fallen into the garage. Knock on wood. [Clattering]", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? I didn't see the first Confidence Man. No. Confidence Man Two is my character.", "c": ["Michael", "Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Yes, well, it's for a con man, which I don't think you know anything about. And besides, don't you have school? No. Um- Today is 'Help Your Dad Follow His Dream' day.", "c": ["Tobias", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "The only help we need is from each other. And apparently whatever's in that bottle. Thanks for reminding me. My Teamocil.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "[Narrator] In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk band to promote a supplement that promised better unity and teamwork. [Together] Teamocil - Teamocil may decrease your sex drive.", "c": ["Narrator", "Tobias", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Since I've been taking this again, I've been getting along great with my husband. You're taking it for the side effect, aren't you?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "'Sergeant Blank is treating me very blank and it looks like I'll be shipping off to blank in about a blank. I blank you, Mother. Buster.'", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "I even tried to convince them he's gay, but no one would believe that a woman like me would have a gay son.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Well, you certainly tried. You guys wore matching outfits till he was 12. [Narrator] Even once on a magazine cover that had been mocked within the family for years.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Lucille, I'll say it again. You never know what's going to happen in the army. Remember, Lucille? No, I don't.", "c": ["Oscar", "Lucille"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Get me a vodka, rocks. Mom, it's breakfast. And a piece of toast.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "That hairless freak is coming here? None of his hair is real, you know. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on!", "c": ["Lucille", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Modest and generous? Then why is he always waving giant $10 million checks over his head every time some- Go ahead, Mom. Finish your thought. 'Every time some children's hospital needs funding'?", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "'Every time some children's hospital needs funding'?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Sorry that my son couldn't be here- Let me guess. Girlfriend. You know, it could be worse. He could wanna marry your mother. [Laughs] Oh, I'm sorry. Is your family not laughing at that yet?", "c": ["Michael", "Sitwell"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "You know, Sudden Valley conjures up the image of a sinkhole, no? I told that to Dad. I told that to my dad. I'm thinking- Paradise Gardens. [Wind Whistling] I swear to God, I have that written-", "c": ["Sitwell", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "[Narrator] When George Sr. was in charge, he had a habit of shooting down any idea Michael came up with. And Sudden Valley just sort of implies that something awful could happen all of a sudden. Plus, it's on a hill. What are you taking, stupid pills? Come on.", "c": ["Narrator", "George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "That's great. So the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we're saying? I mean, come on! Where's your decen- What the hell just fell off your face?", "c": ["Michael", "Sitwell"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "One of this guy's eyebrows fell in the candy beans. I always carry a spare. Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans.", "c": ["Gob", "Sitwell"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Pretty good? It was horrible. What are you taking, stupid pills again? [Narrator] But their old dynamic returned when George Sr. did.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "[Narrator] While Stan Sitwell used the game to raise funds for underprivileged children. Oh, I think one of your orphans is heading towards the street. Strike three.", "c": ["Narrator", "George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "No hair. Hey, we got no hair.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I must've put it on too high.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "You got gumption. You speak your mind. That means you're good enough to work for me. [Bleeps] you. And I accepted.", "c": ["Sitwell", "Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "It's ready, Mike. They're only gonna hold it for 24 hours.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Wait. You can't do a U-turn on your dream. I say, we get you on the lot and get the F\u00fcnke name out there. Start talking you up around the watercoolers.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "What do you think of when you hear the words, 'Sudden Valley'? Salad dressing, I think. But for some reason, I don't wanna eat it. Right. But 'Paradise Gardens.' Yeah. Okay. I can see marinating a chicken in that.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "[Narrator] We lost our entire outfield and a couple of court cases.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Plus, I got Aunt Lindsay playing this year. I can't very well pull her off the roster. Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her... as a backup.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Maybe-Maybe now I'll get a kiss. Okay. Oh. I meant from Ann. Yes, I know. I just want to get in there first.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Oh. I meant from Ann.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "[Narrator] Lindsay felt the intended effect of Teamocil- a sense of camaraderie. Count me in, Michael. Happy to help the team.", "c": ["Narrator", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Michael, I'm your big brother. I'll never be impressed with you.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Well, I just- Hey. Come on. I really want you to be over at Sitwell.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Croc! No, sorry. Wait. Log. Just a log. No, wait. Sorry. Croc!", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "I prefer an older man. Hey, I'm free after the show. I said older, Bob, not dead.", "c": ["Young Lucille", "Bob Hope"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "That F\u00fcnke is some kind of something. Boy, this F\u00fcnke is all anybody's ever talking about. So sick and tired of hearing about how brilliant that F\u00fcnke is. Overrated.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "No. I'm just sitting behind someone else's desk pretending these are my kids.", "c": ["Studio Reader"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Before gym-lunch... with Jim... Carrey. It's the Grinch guy. You're too young.", "c": ["Maeby", "Studio Reader"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "You'd be amazed how fast they come out when you read them all in a row. 'Thirty-one, bamboo floor upgrades. Cheaper, stronger.' I can't read this word. 'Thirty-two, wireless 'crapability.''", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "[Narrator] And it ended as badly as any game of catch could end.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "White power! Better yet, maybe we can play ball on Saturday.", "c": ["Young Gob", "Sitwell"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "[Narrator] Teamocil may cause numbness of the extremities. Why do you think I'm taking Teamocil? To curb your sex drive. That's right. What team are you talking about?", "c": ["Narrator", "Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Why do you think I'm taking Teamocil? To curb your sex drive. That's right. What team are you talking about?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "You know, she's got this low center of gravity. You can't knock her over. Well, I could knock her over. Dad, I'm telling you, you can't. They call her 'The Wall,' you know? Well, that's great. But I could knock her over. I won't, but I could.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Oh, God. That touch. Oh, how could I forget? Pat? Lucille. I could never forget that touch.", "c": ["General Anderson", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Maybe if you... go downtown. [Exhales] Oh, I haven't done that in 30 years.", "c": ["General Anderson", "Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "What's your name? Tobias. He's too short. Give it to the guard.", "c": ["Casting Director", "Tobias"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "You're the F\u00fcnke everyone's talking about? What are you, like, 15? Marry me. [Chuckles] Everyone thinks I look young too.", "c": ["Studio Executive", "Maeby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Yeah. Go young. Young Guy and the Sea. Big spring-breaker. Four C.G.I. The fish. Let's fast-track this one.", "c": ["Studio Executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Listen to me. Brand new cars don't get waxed!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "After that list of ideas you gave me, I don't care if you blow the whole season. Come here, you.", "c": ["Sitwell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Stop with the Tweety Bird dance, you moron. Dad? He made the call. You're out. What are you doing? Shush, shush, shush. Dad?", "c": ["George Sr.", "Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "I'm proud of you. Really? Yeah. See ya.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Or not. I think hallucination is one of the side-effects of Teamocil. [Narrator] It isn't.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "[Whistling Through Teeth] I miss him so much.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Andy Richter! Here are those head shots I was telling you about. Yeah. I gotta go. It's Tobias F\u00fcnke. I told you about the head shots?", "c": ["Tobias", "Andy Richter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "I just wanted to thank you for my new job. [Giggles] What's wrong? I'm shipping out tomorrow.", "c": ["Buster", "General Anderson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "Oh. I haven't felt hands like that in years. You are coming to the front.", "c": ["General Anderson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Switch Hitter"}, {"t": "One letter titled 'If You Weren't My Cousin,' was particularly incriminating.", "c": ["Narrator", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Plus, a lot of kids are still talking about when you took down that homecoming banner.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "It's not a car. But- But, no.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Marry me. - Ha! I need your notes on those tomorrow.", "c": ["Maeby", "Movie Executive"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I think the age difference is really starting to catch up to us.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Meetin' women. Meetin' women who didn't give birth to you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "My schedule, however, is as open as my relationship with my wife.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Boy, that's enough family stuff for today.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I call it Single City... I call it Swing City", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "But check your lease, man, because you're livin' in [pause] City.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I took his dress eyebrows.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "especially when he goes to the opera with two mustaches on his forehead.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I thought you won that on Card Sharks.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Michael, I was never on Card Sharks. Dad told us not to tell you.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "At least in prison, we had knife fights, and we had movie night. And once both. Those men did not enjoy Soapdish.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I think you have to know that world.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I'm driving a staircase, for God's sake. It smells like gas. I get hop-ons.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Well, of course you're gonna get hop-ons.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I gave you company, which, apparently, you don't want to give to me.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Pop-Pop gets a Grisham?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's like 'Die already!'", "c": ["Starla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I love my mother. She's one of the two most important people in my life. You know, she and Quincy.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "A spokesman for Mr. Jones denies they've ever met... although he could not explain the six signed gold records in Starla's apartment.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I think I proved that with [blank] Mountain.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Did you want me to stay and do that?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Maybe a puck hit me. It could happen.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I'll tell you one thing you don't want to do is buy stock in the L.A. Kings.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Why do you want me to write it?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "That's a bad title.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "We have, like, 400 of these... Oh, they're not popular. We have 400 of them.", "c": ["Car Salesman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Oh, you're the stair car guy. You took down our banner.", "c": ["Car Salesman"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I got a hop-on.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "They throw these extras at you because it's so impractical. No back seat. It attracts so many tickets... the insurance alone costs as much as the last three cars we saw.", "c": ["Car Salesman"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I'll take it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Lucille 2! - Buster! - So you're back. - Oh, I'm back, Buster!", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "And I am rock steady! No more dizzies.", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Well, I would hardly call my mother a girl.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, she mostly likes talk radio.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Everybody thinks they're Frank Sinatra.", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "You baited the balcony? - Prove it.", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "By the way, I love your mother. - Oh, yeah, I do too. - Oh.", "c": ["Starla", "Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. This tub's a little bigger than it used to be.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I moved the wall a couple of inches into her penthouse.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "It does? I stopped at 'unfrozen.'", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Oh, he really, really did look like a woman.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under... is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Hey, Dad, is that your new car in the driveway? I can't believe you got a Corvette!", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "You can't see it. I just winked.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "- That's what they said on AskJeeves. - All right, who's the majority shareholder now? - A company called Standpoor.", "c": ["Barry", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Standpoor? - As in the opposite of Sitwell...", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "- You're wearing his eyebrows? - They make me feel dressier.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Standpoor, because she can't stand up without falling over.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I don't know why she'd have any trouble. A piano could stand on those legs.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Sweet ride, dude. - Let's give her Buster.", "c": ["Starla", "Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Don't you think you belong in a Lucille?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I guess she didn't see the drawings.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "No, that is not what it says. I distinct- Hello?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Well, I suppose I could just paint over 'Mary.'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "So maybe you could, uh, start jet\u00e9-ing... and stop 'je-terrorizing' me.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "You didn't sell your stock? What? No. Your letter said not to... and I would never want to hurt the family.", "c": ["Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Let her down easy. That right knee could go at any time.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Wow. You really have made some amazing strides in a half an hour.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "So you think you're tough / Well, we hate rappin' / But don't bust a cap in / 'Cause here's what's happenin' / We're breakin' out some old-fashioned tappin'", "c": ["Tobias and Hot Cops"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Oh, I've been shot! - We miscalculated! Retreat! - Quick, switch to Follies!", "c": ["Hot Cops", "Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I have always had a standing order to buy up any available Bluth stock.", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "My mom really took up a bunch of your space, huh? What a bitch.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "My mom really took up a bunch of your space, huh? What a bitch.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "Oh, I meant my problems. Yeah, she's gonna make me the new president.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "I've wanted a small family restaurant since I got the Kings settlement. It still has the dungeon area, right?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Queen For A Day"}, {"t": "OH, NO. IT'S NOT... IT'S NOT A \"CHRISTIAN MUSIC\" BONFIRE. IT'S A CHRISTIAN \"MUSIC BONFIRE.\" YOU KNOW, WE BURN ALL SATANIC MUSIC.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "THE THING IS, THOUGH, THE ONLY MUSIC I HAVE IS EITHER INSTRUCTIONAL OR HUMOR.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "HEY, GEORGE MICHAEL. JESUS CALLED. HE WANTS YOUR THRILLER ALBUM.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "IT'S THE ONLY WAY WE'RE EVER GONNA GET IT AIR-CONDITIONED.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "OKAY. NOW I'D LIKE TO USE UP MY FAVOR AND DECLINE.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "When Buster inadvertently bid on Lucille 2. - $10,000! - Buster.", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster", "Lucille 2"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "REALLY? DID NOTHING CANCEL?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I STOPPED BY. I HADN'T CHOSEN A SIDE.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO FIRE YOUR GUN IN THE AIR... IS THAT FRANK WRENCH?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "WELL, THAT'S ONE RULE I'M NOT GONNA FOLLOW.", "c": ["Moses Taylor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "AND I'M GONNA SEE IF I CAN GET A WRENCH TO STRIP MY NUTS.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I WAS TRYING TO BE SEXY. IT JUST GOT AWAY FROM ME.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "SEEMS THEY DON'T APPRECIATE COMPETITION.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "JESUS! IT'S THE WOLF! THAT IS THE WOLF! THE WOLF IS UPSTAIRS!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I THOUGHT THAT WAS A HOMEFILL.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "YES, THERE IS A WOLF ON THE LOOSE. HIS NAME IS OSCAR.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "HOPE THAT WAS FORCED.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "AND THOSE, UH, PREMADE BOIL-IN-BAG MEALS... YOU JUST TOSS THOSE IN THERE.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "IT LOOKS LIKE MY BOY IS GONNA BE STICKING IT TO YOUR DAUGHTER, SITWELL.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "NO, WE'RE NOT GONNA BE STICKING ANYTHING. NOT-NOT GONNA STICK A THING.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "IT'S LIGHTER FLUID. DIDN'T PUT IN A NEW FLINT.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "SMOOTH, MICHAEL, LIKE HER FATHER'S HEAD, CHEST, ARMS, LEGS AND ASS.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "JUST SO YOU CAN SHOW UP AND SAY, 'CAR TROUBLES?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "LUPE WASHED THEM, AND THEY SPROUTED. I THREW THEM OUT.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I PUT UP ONE TO GET IT. AS LONG AS IT GETS FRANK WRENCH TO BID ON ME.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "SHOUT OUT, 'I GET HER 364 DAYS A YEAR FOR FREE!' OR SOMETHING.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "THEY'RE LITERALLY BLUE, NOT SAD.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I CAN'T WEAR THIS. I LOOK LIKE I'M 16.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I DIDN'T EVEN WANNA HAVE LUNCH WITH HER IN THE FIRST PLACE.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "PROBABLY FORGOT HER OLD LADY GLASSES.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I OVERDID IT.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I TRIED TO DRINK SOME OF THE WATER, AND IT WAS TOO HOT, AND IT TASTED LIKE SOY SAUCE.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "DID YOU STICK IT TO HER?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "Is that veal marsala stuck in the intake?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW SOMETHING? THE REASON I NEVER WENT AFTER HER IS BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS PUSHING ME.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "BUT, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW. SOMEBODY'S GOTTA BURN, RIGHT?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I GOT SOME LOOKS ON THE BUS 'CAUSE OF THIS.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "What timing, huh? I mean, right out back they were having one.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "CAR TROUBLES?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I'M BEING SAVED BY FRANK WRENCH.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "CAR TROUBLE.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "NO! I WAS ASHAMED TO BE SEEN WITH YOU. I LIKE BEING WITH YOU.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I'M SORRY, SIR. YOUR BLUE CROSS BLUE SHIELD WAS DENIED. WE'VE CALLED YOUR MOTHER.", "c": ["Hospital Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "YEAH, I HOPE I DIDN'T CONFUSE PEOPLE BY SAYING IT WAS A CD BURNING PARTY.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "STICK A WRENCH IN ME. I'M DONE.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "YOU SHOT HER IN THE ASS WITH ABOUT FOUR OUNCES OF HORSE TRANQUILIZER.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "You're not bidding? I was hoping you would. You were? You're a good kid. You always have been.", "c": ["Michael", "Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "DROP IT OFF WHEN YOU DROP MY DAUGHTER OFF TONIGHT.", "c": ["Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "MIND IF I OPEN IT UP?", "c": ["Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "I'D ALMOST RATHER DATE SOMEONE MY FATHER DOESN'T APPROVE OF.", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "THAT-THAT-THAT IS LIKE ME. THAT'S EXACTLY LIKE ME!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "$10,000. OH, HOW GRAND.", "c": ["Gob", "Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Burning Love"}, {"t": "What tipped you? The falling profits... or that we're a regular feature on Bill O'Reilly's 'Most Ridiculous Item of the Day'?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "that bitch! You're not at home, Mom. She doesn't live next door when you're here.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob. Think that makes the joke on Gob.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Does that mean she's gonna have to come live with us? No, no. No. It was- It was her drink", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I look like Edgar Winter. Forget it. I gotta get to spin class.", "c": ["Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Well, yes, but I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. So now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "It's just-There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "You just did.", "c": ["Hotel clerk"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "[Screeching] 'Where's Tobias?' [Normal Voice] 'Oh, he's just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth... and they're dipping each other in-'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Oh, he's just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth and they're dipping each other in\u2014", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks anytime.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Okay. You know what you do? Buy yourself a tape recorder. Record yourself for a whole day. I think you're gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Chaw-chee-chaw, chee-chaw. What is that? Is that a chicken?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "You too. This is great. Come on. These aren't even birds.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I'm playing the part of the gigolo so that she'll keep the company afloat.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "She thinks you're a loser. 'Cause she knows you're a loser.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm\u2014 [bleep] Lucille 2. Oh. I could do something like that.", "c": ["Gob", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "George Sr. was in a tight spot... as he'd gotten himself wedged under the furnace while chasing after a sour ball", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "this may just be me having my head against a hundred-degree furnace for an hour", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "But the audience was not ready to accept Bullet as a romantic lead... despite his powerful upper body.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Release! [Cracking] Too much!", "c": ["Jack Dorso"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "See if you can talk your mother into taking another bullet for the Bluth family.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Nice of you to take a break from that common whore you've been dating.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "But sometimes love should be terrifying.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I'll be right in, and then maybe we can talk about\u2014 Makin' that love.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "She's kind, and she's caring... and she's certainly less experienced than that whore that I'm dating now.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Someone order 140 pounds of upper-body strength?", "c": ["Jack Dorso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "[Shouting] Walk, Dragon! Walk! - Enter the room!", "c": ["Jack", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "He's half deaf. It was a stupid, stupid hire. Not 'higher.' Eye level! Eye level!", "c": ["Jack", "Lucille"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I was never in the army. I was in the pictures. Here comes Uncle Jack. Shoot me!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I was never in the army. I was in the pictures. Here comes UncleJack. Shoot me!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Back to the blonde. Back to the blonde. [Makes Gobbling Noise]", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Just ignore it! Ignore it. Just something the body does when you're shaken.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "which would be a drag. Yeah, that's just the kind of joke Drag can't hear.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "So, I didn't even fail, and I don't see you giving me credit for that.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "particularly when that sister of yours started giving me the cutie eye. She did?", "c": ["Jack", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I won't go wheelchair! Twirl me around.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "The business meant the world to him, but his sister's honor\u2014 uh, meant a lot too. Let's do it.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "He said he'd like to sleep on it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "In her robe and slippies? Getting into her head.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "These kind of skills? Not really.", "c": ["Buster", "Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "You were pimping out my mother. Yes, because she was sleeping with my brother", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I just screwed my brother-in-law. Well, I'm all grown up now.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Stop. You dropped the boot. Dropped the boot.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Well, you certainly didn't help with my reputation as a lady's man with Jeff.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Hey, did you ever get that tape recorder? You're funny. Come on, boy. Hoo-cha-cha!", "c": ["Michael", "Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "thejets proved too powerful for UncleJack's tiny legs", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Do you have any idea how often you say the word 'afraid'?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "But we lost her. Everyone put on white robes and outsmarted us.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "How'd you like to take a nap, baldy? I'll handle this.", "c": ["Jack", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "She's not with him. She's with the Bullet. Oh, thank God.", "c": ["Gob", "Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "But if you want a fight, you got it. Shoot me!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "It was pretty obvious when Dragon kept swooping UncleJack in for a kiss.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I had no idea a 90-year-old man could cave in my chest cavity like that.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I think this duct tape is the only thing that's keeping the ankle on. Okay. Ah. Right around there. Oh. I think you're right inside me now.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up. Nothing wrong with that.", "c": ["Tobias (on tape)"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.", "c": ["Tobias (on tape)"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Tobias, you blowhard!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"}, {"t": "Which included a record-tying... three lovemaking sessions in one night for Michael", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "There isn't? This is unbelievable. Can I get a virgin pi\u00f1a colada when you get a chance?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "- Who? - W-Ann. - Yes. Yes. - Yeah, we had- Of course I know Ann.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "I like not having fun. I like your idea of fun, I mean. Our idea of fun. I like not having that.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Oh, big deal, three times. I've had three times plenty of times. Yes! Did you call my name? Absolutely not.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Look at this delicious piece of irony. I'm being sued for divorce.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "She was a seal dealer. She raised and sold seals to aquariums and marine parks", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "There's a reason you don't typically see live seals in a magic show. - So with a simple wave of my- - [Barking]", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Bad example- if her name's Amy, I'll call her Blamy.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "First of all, it wasn't Michael Moore. It was a look-alike. And it wasn't in front of the whole country. It was for a bit on Jimmy Kimmel Live.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "We haven't done this since the Balboa Bay Window magazine", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Whatever happened to 'Keepin' It Fresh'? - I was 30 years old then, Mother. I'm 32 now!", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "In fact, there are thousands of books written on child-rearing. But Lucille was in denial.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Actually, she died. - You're kidding. I've been taking credit for that for years. - Credit?", "c": ["Michael", "Barry", "Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Save it for the stand, okay, Tom Jane?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "It was with her he'd first set the three-time record. Yes!", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "It's not my belly we have to worry about, Your Honor. It's Loretta's. Being tempted day in and day out by those Skip's Scrambles.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to do this... but we just spend so much time in that box. - I knitted you something.", "c": ["Juror"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Eight and a half months. Wow. Really? Could've sworn it was a year.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Don't worry. You're not the father, Michael. - [Exhales] - No problem. - Really? - Right. - You sure? I mean, uh- I could be.", "c": ["Maggie", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "You can hurl a Bible at the baby.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "All I could see was her giant chest- box. She had this- Some people call it a chest. I call it a box.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "All I could see was her giant chest- box. She had this- Some people call it a chest. I call it a box.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "You know what I do, Mike? Check their urine. Make 'em pee in a cup, and pee in a cup right in front of me.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "We will be like Tracy and Hepburn. - Yeah! - 'What do you say, you old poop?' - Oh, God, he's Hepburn.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "You're high! - Oh, well, you can win every argument like that, but that does not make you right. - I need macaroons. - Oh, you're high!", "c": ["Lucille", "Oscar"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "You will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "I know how to get rid of Ann. You put her in a room with Gangy. She'll criticize her away.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "What if I never get a chance to reach out and touch that hand of his again?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Fine. Let me get Miss Fat Ass outta here and I'll meet you in the car.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "You're a good uncle. I'm not your uncle. I'm your father. - What? - Shh. Shh. Quiet courage. Quiet courage. Hide.", "c": ["Buster", "George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "But it didn't weigh 60 pounds.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "This one kinda does that too.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Of course it is, Michael.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Okay, the box was light 'cause it had a fake stomach in it. It looks like she's faking it.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "You know, when times are tough... you can always turn to the power of prayer. Here we go. - Show me.", "c": ["Ann", "George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Oh, you're so right, Michael. I really can't be trusted. 'Cause I'm fakin' it- not.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Well, my wife and I... finally had the thrill of seeing a plus sign on a pregnancy test. You're gonna be a daddy!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Loose seal! Watch out for loose seal! I don't care about Lucille! She lies! [Narrator] And then a seal bites off his hand.", "c": ["Buster", "Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.71, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Out On A Limb"}, {"t": "Almost always, yeah. You know, Maeby's never around anymore... and Ann's off with her religious group, trying to get Nip/Tuck off the air.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Something about God wants people to age naturally- I don't know. Ironically, she likes Gangy.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "You don't have to do that. - Great, because I didn't do it this time.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Her? - Didn't she turn out to not be blind though? - Exactly.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "But she's filled out a little bit. [Narrator] Michael hadn't seen her in eight and a half months... during which she had filled out. Really? Could have sworn it was a year.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "See, that's what I thought. - Boy, you really are my kid. - Good. Apparently, so is this one.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "to collect and test her urine. - It was there that they stumbled upon a fat suit. - That's what it is.", "c": ["Narrator", "Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Oh, you're so right, Michael, 'cause I'm fakin' it- - But he was proven wrong. - Not.", "c": ["Maggie", "Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Hello? - [Screaming] Mom, you've got to stop starting conversations like that.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Who remembers about what? - [Narrator] I do.", "c": ["Lucille", "Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Up yours, granny! - You couldn't handle it!", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Yeah, the Bronco's been discontinued. We're trying to shed that whole 'fugitive on the run' thing. - This is the Escape. - What a fun name, hmm?", "c": ["Car Salesman", "George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "George Michael, you're going to have to be the baby of the family. - Um, Maeby's younger than me.", "c": ["Lucille", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Not Dr. Wordsmith. - How's my son? - He's going to be all right.", "c": ["Lucille", "Doctor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "You're never going in the ocean! Never! - We're here to see him. - You're my baby! I'm never letting you go!", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Yes. He's lost his left hand, so he's going to be 'all right.'", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.74, "im": 9.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "You son of a bitch! I hate this doctor! - He's a very literal man.", "c": ["Lucille", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm relieved. I don't have to go to army because the seal with the bow tie attacked me. I feel like I've lost three pounds.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "My hat is off to you. - And my hand is off to you.", "c": ["Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "I mean, a seal didn't bite your Linus off, did it? - No, a seal didn't bite my Linus off.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Then go to her. Ask for her hand. - Yeah. And, uh, maybe... I'll get one for my brother while I'm at it.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Get him out of here! - Hmm? - Get him out of here! Get the- [Bleeps] Out of my room!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Have you seen Maggie? It's kind of important. - Oh, you just missed her. She's in the bar. What a spanking I gave her in court today.", "c": ["Michael", "Barry Zuckerkorn"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Go get 'em. - He spanked me! - Did you spank her? - No!", "c": ["Barry", "Michael", "Maggie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Of course. That's what the fat suit is for.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "[Spanks] - Ooh, I did good today.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "That's great. He's probably some geek Simpsons writer's kid.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "And while you're at it, let's all give me a big hand!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Guess this means you don't wanna play 'got your nose' with me.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! What-What happened to your- He's got no hand!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "You're back in the real world. You're not gonna be hand-fed anymore.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "How the hell would a seal know how to tie a bow tie anyway? - I can barely tie the yellow one that I wear in my act. - This one had a yellow bow tie!", "c": ["Lucille", "Gob", "Buster"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Oh, Mom. After all these years, God's not gonna take a call from you.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Well, first of all, I'm sure there are writers on The Simpsons who aren't geeks.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Is he trying to get out of having this baby? - We want this child. It's given us a reason to stay together.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Where's your child? - I don't have a child, Michael. - We don't have a child, Michael. - That's why we want-", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "She's with her debate club, and they're on their way to Sacremende for the semifinals. [Narrator] She wasn't. And a Google search of the word 'Sacremende' only came up with this.", "c": ["Tobias", "Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "It's another Bluth Boy adventure. We're like a team. - We're like Red McGibbon and Bullet. - Who?", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "You didn't even go inside. - It was taped to the door. - It's probably the Sparkletts guy.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Close call there, Bullet. I'm so sorry about that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "I'm lookin' for the seal that's got the taste for kitty blood.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "God! It's like herding cats.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Uncle Gob? Maeby?", "c": ["Gob", "Maeby"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "There's a father. There's two fathers. David! - I'm making gravy.", "c": ["Taylor", "Carter"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Hot cops [Hisses] Hot", "c": ["Hot Cop"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Well, why should you? I just hope you find out which one of you can breast-feed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "What are you doing? - Okay, so she's fat. - Your Honor, this is an outrage! - Wow. Did I lose this one.", "c": ["Maggie", "Barry", "Judge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Oh, no! My water just broke! - Quickly, Your Honor. Quickly throw it out.", "c": ["Loretta", "Barry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Look, this is kind of weird advice for me to be giving... but why don't you just tell him the truth? I mean, he'll respect you for it. - Thanks, Maeby. - Okay, now I'm just lying for no reason.", "c": ["Gob", "Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Lord, let Buster forget everything. And if you need to take another hand to make that happen... please make it Gob's.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Oh! No, stop it, stop it, stop it! Oh, you caught my tendon in your claw! - My claw? Aw, God! [Hysterical Whimpering] I'm a monster!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Oh! No, stop it, stop it, stop it! Oh, you caught my tendon in your claw! My claw? Aw, God! I'm a monster!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Don't smoke, sonny. [Wheezing Cough]", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Is this our little bundle of... two gay cops' baby?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Boy, you just cannot get off the breast thing, can you?", "c": ["Taylor"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "So l- Hey, I outsourced it, okay?", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "[Narrator] But 'M' didn't stand for 'main floor.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "When we're together, it is like- - Magic? - I was gonna say 'train wreck.'", "c": ["Michael", "Maggie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "[Narrator] But that, too, turned out to be a lie.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "But unfortunately, you've still got a hook in your ass.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "You have got to be kidding me.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Hand To God"}, {"t": "Which put her wake-up time in the 3:00, 3:30 area.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Lucille had gone over 25 times with Buster... and on a few occasions, had won Cutest Couple.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "As one entered sexual maturity, and the other one left it... it became harder to win.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "If you were hot, Mother, we would win.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "That could have something to do with the fact that a seal ate his hand. - I don't know what it is. - I think that's what it is. - Who knows? - [Narrator] It was that.", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "I mean, look how he zips now.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "The Bluth children had been uneasy about missing limbs... since their father used a one-armed man to teach them lessons. That's why you don't yell.", "c": ["Narrator", "J. Walter Weatherman"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Of course they have father-daughter dances. - They do? He never took me? It was before we did your nose.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "He had even gotten a vanity plate made up announcing the achievement.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "And this wasn't the first time.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Actually, George Sr. was secretly living... in the attic above them and was starved for company- - Nellie. Now- who wants to take their top off?", "c": ["Narrator", "George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "That's a cross. - Across from where?", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Hey, there's booze in this.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "I had to take all pumps out of here a long time ago.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Okay, I should've never taken the pumps out of here.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Gob had once gotten married on a dare... a fact he'd only remembered when he was served with divorce papers.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "I like to look in the mirror.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "[Narrator] They didn't, but it would have been.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Up top. No?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "I swore I'd not go reality.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Did you know that you can get a refill on any drink you want here, and it's free? - It's a wonderful restaurant.", "c": ["Carl Weathers", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Let's rock-paper-scissors for it. - No! You would've-You would've won that, so-", "c": ["George Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Can I open a can of soup for you? - Can it open a can? - Can what open a can? Oh, God!", "c": ["Lucille", "George Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Actually, I just wanted to spend some time with my Knuckle Buster.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "No, he was going south. South to Motherboy.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Or we could make sure it's the right seal first? - I mean, why get his hopes up? - Yeah, that's better.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Monster! - Hey, Brothers. - Bonster!", "c": ["Michael", "Buster", "Gob"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "There's not enough room for you and me and the stump and the thing- stuff.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "I'm havin' a- [Bleeps] tea party. What does it look like? I live here.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "I get those names confused. Apologies. Apologies all around.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "He couldn't wait to swoop in and throw on that sailor suit, because he's not damaged goods.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Left flipper. - So, the seal lost his hand too. Yeah, poor guy's probably out there without a flipper... swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family.", "c": ["Barry", "Buster"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "You both were too sheltered to learn how to protect yourselves... and we can't let that happen to George Michael.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Oh- [Bleeps] me. The exact same color. What are the odds?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Motherboy was also a heavy metal band... That used to rock pretty hard in the '70s. We are legally obligated to make the distinction.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "You don't need the calories.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "For as it is written... you shall be with whom you have formed a more perfect union with under God.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Take me with you! No, please! Please! - It's the wrong child.", "c": ["Wrong child", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "And yet, anything goes at bath time. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Both things he just said were lies.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "What were you doin' there? - Wow. You should be the lawyer.", "c": ["Gob", "Barry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Either I zip down or he zips up! And that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. You have to get on your knees to start it.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Whoa. This guy's straight? - Yeah. Then what the hell am I wearin' these for?", "c": ["Dave Attell", "Costume person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "There's dozens of us. Dozens!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "If that man's straight, then I am sober.", "c": ["Dave Attell"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "You lost a lot of weight in Iraq, especially up in the northern region.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Wow. I mis-underestimated you.", "c": ["Gob's wife"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Is this your son? - No, I'm his grandmother. - He's an orphan.", "c": ["Judge", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Well, that little bit of honesty helped nothing.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother.' - No, let's try to top that. - [Narrator] They never did.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "You know, you're as good a brother as you ever were.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "George Michael still has a chance. Take him!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "I'm Peter Pan, and you're Captain Hook. We'll pretend it's a costume.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "And I saw some of those people. That was a very competitive category. - Oh, don't I know it.", "c": ["Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "There's no way to tell who this man is. - That's me, Your Honor. I- [Bleeps] my wife.", "c": ["Judge", "Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "The only thing more terrifying... than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call! - Hey, campers. - [Kids Screaming]", "c": ["Maeby", "Buster"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "I'm a monster! This may have been a step backwards.", "c": ["Buster", "Narrator"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Motherboy Xxx"}, {"t": "If you weren't all the way on the other side of the room, I'd slap your face.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Michael had asked her to do this, but that was long before he began hiding his father in the attic.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "What the...? Oh, God! Polly, cover your mouth!", "c": ["George Sr.", "Polly"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "She hadn't even done it that time, but instead, intercepted her mother's housekeeper", "c": ["Narrator", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Lupe never accepted a ride from Lindsay again.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "I did notice we'd stopped TiVoing the Christopher Lowell show. What happened?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "You're going to stretch them out. That's all you can say? Well, excuse me for liking the way they shape my junk.", "c": ["Tobias", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "You can pack your junk and get out.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "At the beginning of pilot season?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "took up residence in the apartment of Detective Frank Wrench on the set of the television show: Wrench.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Did he take the good video camera with him?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "I'm calling it Tricks... let me finish-- Around the Office.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "That is what we call working.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Is that Qusay Hussein at the omelet bar?", "c": ["Family member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "George Michael had been heavily influenced by the Star Wars films, and had endeavored to recreate his favorite moments.", "c": ["Narrator", "George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Even you have to admit that that was the lamest thing ever put on tape. Not so.", "c": ["Family member", "Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Buster had once videotaped himself recreating moments from his then favorite film, Chicago.", "c": ["Narrator", "Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "He also liked Star Wars.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "That one gets pregnant, it stays pregnant. Believe me, I dated a chick like that once in high school. No, I didn't.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Don't start. Smoking. It's a killer. That Sammy Davis, Jr. should still be performing.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "You are George Michael! Who's cooler than you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "I said, 'Let's, do not... Let's not put the school through that.' You know, I haven't thought about that for years.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "And then that first time, after waiting and waiting, it's gonna be so awesome! Because it's not just gonna be my love and George Michael's, but God's love, as well. God, it's gonna be incredible!", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Oh, God! Oh, God!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, it was a new friend to George, Senior. Polly!", "c": ["Narrator", "George Sr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Sometimes it's as simple as turning 10:45 in the morning into... lunch time!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Well, you kind of have to, guy. I'm the president. No, no. I'm the president.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Pound is tic-tac-toe, right? Yeah, pound is this one here.", "c": ["Gob", "Security"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "But the guard had recently lost half his tie to office magic.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Your Uncle Gob doesn't not-work here anymore.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Marry me! I'm so sorry. I forgot who I was talking to.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "And he's won three years in a row. Every year after his first junior year.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Well, that's like comparing apples and some fruit nobody's ever heard of.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "You can't fire me. I'm your son. I'm firing you! I was firing Lupe.", "c": ["Buster", "Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "I no does Buster anymore.", "c": ["Lupe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Also, I don't think this is a real toilet.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "You're a dirty cop, so Frank Wrench is going to clean you.", "c": ["TV Show"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Four more years! Four more years!", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "It's a robot. I hate it. I miss Lupe.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "It's a robot. I hate it. I miss Lupe.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "My name is Phyllida Featherbottom, and I can cook and I can clean and I can take care of the little ones.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "When you put a squirt of frosting down your throat before we take our medications...", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "It was the exact plot of the film Mrs. Doubtfire. There was also some Mary Poppins in there.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "From Blackstool. I'm charmed, I'm sure.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "You and Gob were like those biblical brothers, Gallant and, um... Goofuth.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "See, the mere fact that you think you can says to me that I shouldn't let you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "We hand out rubbers that say, 'We salute George Michael.'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "2%, huh? Is that how little I lost by? Lost by? It was close. That's all you got.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "I'm sure wherever your father is right now, she loves you very, very much.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Drought, starvation... these are the things my family has had to deal with for generations, although, fortunately, not since we moved to Corona del Mar.", "c": ["Indian student"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Go home, you terrorist!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "This kid's popular? Looks like a chick I did once in high school.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Steve Holt is a bastard. He doesn't even know who his real father is.", "c": ["Campaign video"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "The girls like him just fine. Young and old, it doesn't matter... in the dark.", "c": ["Campaign video"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Uh-oh... I couldn't find another tape.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "No, I tied with 'Bart Simpson' and 'School Sucks.'", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "George Michael... was that really you doing those light saber moves? You were incredible.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Yoo-hoo! I'll take you the rest of the way!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "Well, we got some bad news. Wow. Is that what's going to happen to my hair?", "c": ["Lab worker", "Steve Holt"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Immaculate Election"}, {"t": "[Narrator] Well, that part wasn't true. But they would've.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "I need you to hire him. [phone cuts to dial tone] Hi. I'm sor- Look, it isn't my idea, it's his.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Tobias singing in falsetto as Mrs. Featherbottom", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "No. She's the only one who can hand wash my delicates. Yeah, the real Tobias wouldn't do that.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Booyah!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Wow. Gobias Industries. [Hard 'G'] Gobias. Right. I remember, yeah. As in 'Go buy us a cup of-'", "c": ["Michael", "Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "I have rabies, Michael. You know that. Today was day four of my shots.", "c": ["Starla"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Ted. Did Ted make an appointment? No, I just work down the hall and- [Tobias] No. Well, then, Ted can get the hell out of this office! You get the hell out!", "c": ["Michael", "Ted", "Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Although, if I may, let me take off my assistant skirt and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Ancient Chinese Secret, huh? [Both] Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Me quick, want slow. Wait, that's Indian. Tea for dong.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Sweet blade. It's the Sword of Destiny. It's full of ancient magic. Oh, yeah? You into magic?", "c": ["Gob", "Shop Owner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Still, where'd the lighter fluid come from?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Looks like you're looking for dragons, in the future.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Bleeding? Nope. Yeah, that's blood.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Michael, if I make this comeback... I'll buy you 100 George Michaels you can teach to drive!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably. My socks are wet. Sorry. You'll be sorry! Wait, that doesn't work after his line.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "[Narrator] Actually, Maeby had received a company car from the movie studio where she was secretly posing as an executive.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "What's the deal with the turban? Huh? [Chuckles] Pretty smart, huh? And-And it's warm too.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "When do you start being my mole at my company? Actually, Michael turned me down for the job. What? Something to do with their housing order being cut back.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, that's a horrible sign- Ow! Damn it!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "We're gonna cover the hydraulic flaps and the riser system after I tell you the basics about how to avoid a hop-on.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Let's go over the route to the hospital. Ow!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "My baby is sick, but Mother is here to nurse you. Well, now I'm a little sicker.", "c": ["Tobias as Mrs. Featherbottom", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "I'm peeing. Am I peeing?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "It may have taken the tingle out of your genitals.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "You're lucky. He's the best. Well, only in the county. But I'm certainly good enough to take out that appendix of yours.", "c": ["Tobias", "Dr. Stein"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Hopefully not too slow, because it's already dangerously slow as it is. [Dr. Stein Chuckles]", "c": ["Dr. Stein"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Hook! Forgot about that thing, Elephant Man. Gonna have to figure out something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "which many claimed suffered due to its pop-up ads.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Booyah!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Tony Wonder appearing from bread loaf and screaming", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "I folded it up into some squares, and I put it in a pouch under my shirt... and then I pull it out, and I make it look like it came out of my skin.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "I folded it up into some squares, and I put it in a pouch under my shirt and then I pull it out, and I make it look like it came out of my skin.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "I started out as a little 'W.' Somehow I became a big one. I don't even know how it happened.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Enjoy the Hanukkah cookie, man.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "My name is Dr. Tobias F\u00fcnke and I'll be filling in for Michael, who is not sick. In fact, just today I saw a sliver of his buttocks and they're as fresh and firm as a Georgia peach, so not to worry.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Now, put your foot on the brake. There's a light in a half mile. [Brakes Grinding]", "c": ["Lindsay", "George Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "In this magic trick, I'm going to put a sword... through my assistant's tummy.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "It's a real sword, master.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "It's a real sword, master. Oh-ho!", "c": ["Buster", "Audience"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "My brother's widow. It's- [Bleeps] up.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "The 'How'd he do dats?' ate it up. Sorry. That's what we call the audience.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Oh, it still needs three stamps.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "He was doing really well. Had his first hop-on.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "She's still trying to get the stairs unwedged from the emergency room overhang.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "But once I got in there, the appendix wasn't so inflamed. D'oh.", "c": ["Dr. Stein"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "I want to show these interns what the best doctor in Southern California can do.", "c": ["Dr. Stein"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "The F.B.I. Has matched the design of the attic to one of Saddam Hussein's Iraqi houses.", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Booyah!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "[Narrator] Actually, he'd been hiding inside the dumbwaiter for over 20 minutes waiting for someone to use the word 'wonder.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "I grant him magic sanctuary. That's fine. I second the sanctuary. But with a clause of silence.", "c": ["Gob", "Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Look at Tiagra, my girl. Don't look at her. 'Cause you look at her and it affects her in a way that I don't feel comfortable with. Or go for it. I don't care, whatever.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "See, we got the abscess, but I think we might have left some snippers in there. It's not very likely, but one of the assistants having taken them is even less likely.", "c": ["Dr. Stein"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Well, uh, we had a little whoopsie. See, we got the abscess, but I think we might have left some snippers in there.", "c": ["Dr. Stein"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "We leased the top floor to another company and moved down here. But we can stay in business without having to build the extra houses. We did it!", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "He cut off my- [Bleeps] fingers! I'm not kidding! He cut off my- [Bleeps] fingers!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Handle first. Handle first. [Screams] Oh, my fingers!", "c": ["Buster", "Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "I've shortened your calf muscles to theoretically increase your jumping ability. But if it works, I could be the best in the world.", "c": ["Dr. Stein"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "My middle finger and index finger are- Switched for the first time ever. Nice job, Frank. Amazing.", "c": ["Gob", "Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "You're not half the man he was! This kid's got moves.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sword Of Destiny"}, {"t": "Who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh, right. I forgot. Here in the States you call it a sausage in the mouth.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "We just call it a sausage.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "The family, of course, knew it was Tobias... but the house had never been cleaner.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "The premier- of Canada. He's going out with my gym teacher.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Yeah. I looked that up. It's a ninth grade history textbook.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, the job was wreaking havoc with her language. Maybe we just need a new- [Bleeps] housekeeper.", "c": ["Narrator", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Having my day ruined with whatever you're about to ask me to do.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "He is aware that he's not married to you, right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Not now. It's my time of the month. Not now. I don't want to risk having a baby. It could kill me.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Well, he didn't return when I lost my hand. But you- you not only embrace it... but I saw you kissing it while you thought I was sleeping.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Can I tell you somethin', my man? You are one cool- [Bleeps] Speakin' of mothers, let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar.", "c": ["Franklin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act? He also said some things that African-Americany wasn't ready to hear either.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "As it turned out, he got too serious with the teddy bear.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Imagine what he'd say about her.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "In fact, Lindsay was currently wearing it on her middle toe, roast beef.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Well, that's the first I've heard of this. Well, then who said 'Her?' Me. That was-That was me. But, um, her?", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Actually, you tried to put a banger in my mouth this morning.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "N-N-N- Y-Yes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Get your loser hand out of my ass.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Never too late to start.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "I don't go religiously. I mean, I'm not a nut about it. Because there is no such thing as a nut when it comes to religion, Pastor.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Next you're gonna say how Ann and I can be sisters.", "c": ["Mrs. Veal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Who can blame you? You gotta lock that down.", "c": ["Mrs. Veal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "We shan't be telling your mother this, shan't we?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Well, Ann's got a great deal of mass.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Fifteen-year-old. Marry me!", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Babysit me.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Dad escaped from prison. Did you not know that?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "I ain't your daddy! How's it goin', brother?", "c": ["George Sr.", "Franklin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Bring her in here, knock her out with this ether, and you stuff her into this garment bag.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Put the ether on the puppet's lips. Have the puppet kiss her. I ain't kissin' that old bitch. That's my wife, you bastard!", "c": ["George Sr.", "Franklin", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "The mere fact that you're laughing about marriage... means that you're not ready, okay?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Maybe I should ask if she wants to get pre-pre-engaged. Add another-", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Oh, who let this little black- [Bleeps]", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "I want to please you secularly.", "c": ["Mrs. Veal"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "I was surprised because of Ann. Well- Why because of Ann? Because of an old wives' tale.", "c": ["Michael", "Mrs. Veal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Well, this was before he saw you pounding that sweet piece of veal.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Well, this was before he saw you pounding that sweet piece of veal.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Her? Does she look old enough to play Topher Grace's mom?", "c": ["Oscar", "Maeby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "I had this shipped over from 'Blackstool.' It's what I used to drive the Roger Moores about in.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "What am I doing in a Nordstrom bag?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Oh, man. I can't wait to get married.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "I'll always be here for you to rest your ankles upon my shoulders.", "c": ["Pastor Veal"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "'I'll always be here for you to rest your ankles upon my shoulders.'", "c": ["Pastor Veal"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "But they did think alike... and neither could land a blow.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "You really should lock that down.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Put your hands up, or we'll take that as a sign of aggression against us. They're not up! He's aggressive!", "c": ["Police"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Oh, no. My wig seems to have run off. On George Sr., as it turned out.", "c": ["Tobias", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Let's alternate hot and cool on that.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Let's alternate hot and cool on that.", "c": ["Mrs. Veal"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "You must teach me, George Michael. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "You must teach me, George Michael. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "Drug dog's got something. Get him, Bennett! I don't want no part of your tight-ass country club... you freak bitch!", "c": ["Police", "Buster", "Franklin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "I don't want no part of your tight-ass country club... you freak bitch!", "c": ["Franklin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Meat The Veals"}, {"t": "If you weren't all the way on the other side of the room, I'd slap your face.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Michael had asked her to do this, but that was long before he began hiding his fugitive father in the attic.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Polly, cover your mouth!", "c": ["George Sr"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "She hadn't even done it that time but instead intercepted her mother's housekeeper as she was arriving for work.", "c": ["Narrator", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Almost done. Yours or mister's?", "c": ["Lupe", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Lupe never accepted a ride from Lindsay again.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "I did notice we'd stopped TiVoing The Christopher Lowell Show.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Well, excuse me for liking the way they shape my junk.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "You can pack your junk and get out.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "You're kicking me out? At the beginning of pilot season?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Tobias took up residence in the apartment of Detective Frank Wrench, on the set of the television show Wrench", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Well, she was so excited the hot water in the shower was lasting longer. How could I have the heart to tell her it's because her father moved out?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Did he take the good video camera with him?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "That's touching.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "I'm calling it Tricks- Let me finish- around the Office.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "That is what we call working. Something you might wanna try next time you're at the office.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Is that Qusay Hussein at the omelet bar?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "You're not my father! You'll never be!", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "You cut off my hand!", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Worth every penny.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Even you have to admit that that was the lamest thing ever put on tape.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Not so. Buster had once videotaped himself re-creating moments from his then favorite film, Chicago.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "He also liked Star Wars.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "If that one gets pregnant, it stays pregnant.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Believe me. I dated a chick like that once in high school. No, I didn't.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Smoking. It's a killer. That Sammy Davis Jr. Should still be performing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "You are George Michael! Who's cooler than you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "So you lost.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "I said, 'Let's- Do not- Let's not put the school through that.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "It's gonna be so awesome, because it's not just gonna be my love and George Michael's but God's love as well.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "God, it's gonna be incredible.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Campaign?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I'm an inconvenience to you, Mother.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Lindsay had cleaned one room and now had a garbage problem", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "I haven't seen this in ages. EBay.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "What's this? A stuffy office meeting? Well, maybe it's time for a little... Office Magic.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Sometimes it's as simple as turning 10:45 in the morning into lunchtime!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Why does lunch have to be so dull? Maybe you'd prefer some chicken instead!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Well, you know, I thought he was an investor. He voted against me.", "c": ["Business Partner"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "No. You lost the presidency, just like you did in high school when you refused to play dirty.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Pound is tic-tac-toe, right?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "But the guard had recently lost half his tie to Office Magic.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Your uncle doesn't not-work here anymore.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Marry me.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "And he's won three years in a row- every year after his first junior year.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Well, that's like comparing apples and some fruit nobody's ever heard of.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "He might even finish after the Indian kid.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "And yet you're too good to polish the candlesticks?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "I'll DustBuster! God.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Also, I don't think this is a real toilet.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "It's really gonna appeal to the Christian crowd.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Four more years! Four more years!", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "No. I fired him. As a result, I'm no longer welcome in the office.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "I want you to be strong, and you don't need the comfort of an immigrant in Mother's old stirrup pants to make you feel that way.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Oh, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Phyllidia Featherbottom and I can cook and I can clean and I can take care of the little ones.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "When you put a squirt of frosting on your throat / Before we take our medications", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "It was the exact plot of the film Mrs. Doubtfire.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Oh, I've no need for payment. The love of the family is more than enough.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "You could finally use some of his dirty tricks to get George Michael elected.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Our Heavenly Father let his son die so that our sins could be absolved.", "c": ["George Sr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "'Goofuth.'", "c": ["George Sr"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Wow. It won't be easy to win a race against myself.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Of course, if anyone can do it, I can.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "We hand out rubbers that say, 'We salute George Michael.'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Two percent, huh? Is that how little I lost by?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "This is my mom's, and it's fen-phen, and it's been banned by the F.D.A.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "I'm sure wherever your father is right now, she loves you very, very much.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Go home, you terrorist!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Sure you didn't make that video in a cave?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "This kid's popular? Looks like a chick I did once in high school.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Steve Holt is a bastard. He doesn't even know who his real father is.", "c": ["Gob on TV"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "The girls like him just fine. Young and old. It doesn't matter.", "c": ["Gob on TV"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "I couldn't find another tape.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "I tied with Bart Simpson and 'School Sucks.'", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Gotta do something about that kid's self-esteem.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "Wow. Is that what's gonna happen to my hair?", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Spring Breakout"}, {"t": "That can't be good.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "You know this isn't a real house? It's a model house.", "c": ["Michael", "Inspector"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Plus, there's a lot of blue paint down there. And some pieces of denim?", "c": ["Inspector"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I believe there's a freeloading loser in my bed.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Buster! The Cornballer! [Both Screaming] [Sizzling]", "c": ["Oscar", "Buster"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "The only reason she likes him is he has hair. And the only reason he has any is because he's never had any stress.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Hey, man! Yeah!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Remember that French movie we tried to sneak into once- Dangerous Cousins? No, l-Why? Did we- [Stammering] I don't remember that, no.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "George Michael remembered very well. In fact, he currently had a copy of the DVD hidden in his sock drawer.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "The studio at which she'd finagled a job had hoped to avoid controversy by artlessly explaining that the two leads weren't biological cousins.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "But it's only 71 minutes long. And it's only, like, 63 minutes long.", "c": ["Studio Executive", "Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I mean, if it maintains any of the complex eroticism of the French original anyway.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Do I work- I developed an eating disorder being your assistant, Michael.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I never saw you at the desk. Well, excuse me if I was too busy on my knees in front of the toilet, Michael.", "c": ["Michael", "Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I feel like a- [Bleeps] idiot.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Oh, this is my fault too? Everything- No. No! I will not let this make me eat! [Sobbing]", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Say good-bye to these. Spring break! Whoo!", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Shall I knock Dad out and chain him to a pipe somewhere? Or should I risk another herpes outbreak with Kitty?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I assumed that you were talking about the mutual fund and not a compact disc of you singing to your hand.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "It ain't easy bein' white / It ain't easy bein' brown / All this pressure to be bright / I got childrens all over town", "c": ["Franklin", "Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Sometimes- Hey, where'd the guy go?", "c": ["Franklin"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Crying like a couple of girls. Aw, you're the only one crying.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Franklin didn't want to kiss at all. Gob had soaked the puppet's mouth in ether.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Well, maybe the fact that we don't know if we're together or not is a sign that we should split again. Or stay split up.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "[Imitating George Sr.] I cherish you, Gob. Come here and give me a kiss. I'm driving, Dad. [As George Sr.] Now!", "c": ["Gob", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "It's not even open. Michael!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I can tell you who it's not. It's not Bull. It's not Harry Anderson. He's white. I know who it is.", "c": ["Kitty", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "'Oftentimes the heart acts without consulting the head, and thusly'- Oh, I see you wasted no time in filling my seat hole.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "It's the last time you're going to be seeing these. How ironic. I just found out I'm staying.", "c": ["Kitty", "Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Wow, you are so real. Why can't I meet someone like you?", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I recently heard that the actor, John Larroquette, was looking for a meaty character piece.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Are those balls? 'Cause the last time we were here, they were balls.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I wish they were balls.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Right between the gearbox and the 'pull back from aircraft' lever.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "And guess what else? Dad kissed me. How? He looked pretty unconscious in that picture. I didn't say he was totally into it.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Oh, the cousin one? I can't believe it. I was just gonna ask you to go. No, I want to get the whole church group together. We're gonna picket those bastards.", "c": ["Ann", "George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "It's a satire! There's nothing funny about fornication! The bastard saw us!", "c": ["Producer", "Ann", "George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Pop secret? Pop se- Is Oscar my real father?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Your husband's dating Kitty the whore. He is? That's- That's horrible. Do I know my daughter? She only wants what she can't have.", "c": ["Lucille", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I said 'cot.'", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "My father is my uncle!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "[British Accent] You've ruined the act, Gob.", "c": ["Franklin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "So say good-bye to these, because it's the last time-", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's the best 52 minutes you'll spend all day.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "This isn't Marc Cherry's house.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I don't think we're supposed to shower right now, Bus-", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Mommy's gonna take a bath with a bottle of wine.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Gob had hidden his father under a house that had just collapsed.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Gob had hidden his father under a house that had just collapsed.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "But he got free- the pipes I chained him to weren't connected to anything.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "I'm sick of you needing constant validation for screwing up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "First, I'm gonna beat the crap out of you, then I'm gonna call an ambulance. Then knowing you, I'm gonna have to wait for some kind of an apology.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "But there was no time, and getting even with his brother was reward enough.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't lose him. But he's all puckered and white. On the plus side, you can take him to lunch at the club now.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Righteous Brothers"}, {"t": "Visit, no. Gloat, yes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "You seem more villainous than usual, Mom. Are you sober?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "And that's how long I've been depressed about him.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.49, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Claiming she could take it no more, the young mother released the emergency brake, allowing her car to roll backwards into the nearby lake.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Narrator describes Lucille's 90s suicide attempt, followed by her dismissive 'Good for her'", "c": ["Narrator", "Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Good for her.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "I must have gained three pounds.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "That was Tom Cruise, the actor.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Hey, pal, something's come up. This nice young lady has lost her puppy, and your dad's got to help her find him.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Mine's sadder.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Gob and Michael compete over who had the sadder childhood regarding the cabin", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "You taste these tears. Taste my sadness.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "But the one thing that I will never do is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Gob's convoluted logic about what he'll do with his hypothetical son regarding cabin trips", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Michael had never been so touched by something his son had said, but it wasn't true.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "He was hiding from his cousin after an awkward incident.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "- Hi. - Hi. - I'm off to the car. - I'll be in the crawl space.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "I think the President of a 'Don't Buy' company can afford to take a day off.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "There's only one sleeping bag, so we're gonna have to double up. Pigs in a blanket.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "It is worse to know.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Unfortunately for Oscar, 'You've got the wrong twin' was a very popular alibi.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "We're quadruplets. You got the wrong two.", "c": ["Larry and Dave"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you're Oscar. Dot com.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "We're super rich again. And I'm gonna buy a car, the Volvo.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "That's from sitting on the copier.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "All right, maybe you're right. Maybe we should get you this car. Yeah, I don't know. It's so boxy.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, like I'd ever hear from that son of a bitch.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Earlier that day, Gob received a letter from a group that reunited abandoned sons with their fathers, called S.A.D.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Barry says a lot of things he doesn't mean.", "c": ["Barry's secretary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Kind of feel like that kid who found the severed hand.", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "If Steve had had a father, he would've warned him not to go into the woods with strange men. But he didn't.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Michael, meanwhile, arrived in Reno, a city competing with Las Vegas' successful 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' campaign", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "The Christian League had the Seedy Underbelly shut down. Now it's a Swallows.", "c": ["Reno local"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Swallows was a family-style restaurant by day, and an anything-goes pan-sexual bazaar by night.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "That is until he choked on a marshmallow and almost died when no one noticed he turned blue.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Leaving Lindsay was the biggest little mistake I've ever made.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Say goodbye to these!", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Those are blue too.", "c": ["Narrator/Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "What's a leather pony?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "I don't know. We don't have that at lunch.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "And the kids found themselves closer than ever on the bumpy road to Reno.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "What if Kitty's not there and I'm less of a Blue Man and more of a cocktail waitress?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "You're my only client. What am I supposed to do now? Turn tricks on the street?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "How much do you think I can get for that, by way? $50, or is that just L.A.?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Let's get it out of the way.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Isn't it behind you?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "You're the dad.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "I've made a huge tiny mistake.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "No, I'm better.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "It's never happening.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Although, I was very close. I almost had Pop-pop in Reno.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Me, too.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Well, that was a freebie.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "I decided to sleep in the car so my snoring wouldn't bother you, and I left that recording of my snoring so you wouldn't know I'm gone.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "This is just like when we used to live up in the attic.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Well, every problem has an answer. You're probably just confused because you're going through all of this alone.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "That and cheating on Gangy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "There's no cabin.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Are you still doing breakfast burritos?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "I want a divorce.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "And I would be thrilled to represent either one of you. That'll be $50.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Cabin Show"}, {"t": "I don't even have a girl, much less a stupid one.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "But if they ever had a child, it would be... because the girl was his cousin Maeby.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "in the twilight of her face", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God. Send me back to prison.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "As soon as Father came back, I've been like the Invisible Man. 'Hello! Can anyone see me?'", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. You certainly have a type.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Oh, it's in the dishwasher. Your father and I were using it for something.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "My friskiness. Mama horny, Michael.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Why do I eat breakfast before I come here?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "A 'protest-acular.'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I was just looking for a marker... A Magic Marker.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "That's where she keeps things she has no need for.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "I so very much would like to be in your 'prostate-icular'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Guess I shouldn't have used a permanent marker.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "I mean, what are we, Amish?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Lot of that was the coma.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Yeah. I've heard your side of it.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "There you just had to shut your eyes and take it. Here you have to shut your eyes and give it.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Andy Griffith. What, you never saw Matlock? Not a real attorney, Dad.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "For $20,000, he'll twice... lean forward and whisper something in your ear. Oh. White suit... That's extra.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Not in every case.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Oh, they're polite and the men all sound gay... but they will rip out your heart", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "It's more like a Lincoln. Oh, come on!", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "There's no satellite radio, but there's a banjo in the closet. And watch out for live-ins.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Lanes reverse! You're driving on the wrong side, you bloomin' idiot!", "c": ["British driver"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "They're for British eyes only.", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Perhaps if you're willing to lose 20 pounds.", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "What's the soup of the day, Mum? Bread.", "c": ["Lionel", "Mum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Not her. Wait for it.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Not... Not for sex. You're gonna think that I'm Jack the Ripper, right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Then I shall let you live.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "This is my worst hello. Let me try again.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Well, lucky for you, my whole face is British.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Oh, yes... GMT. Everything here is on Greenwich mean time.", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "I like to think they teach me. - Like what? How to eat crayons, throw tantrums... - Oh, no. Not when I'm there. I'm very good.", "c": ["Rita", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "It's turning into one of my worst good-byes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "our paths shan't cross again. As you like it.", "c": ["Michael", "Rita"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Are you gonna buy this time, or you just curious? I suppose I'm, uh, buy-curious.", "c": ["Shop owner", "Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "That's a pretty good chicken.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Now, back off, you !@%$# ponce!", "c": ["British thug"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Dad was not kidding about their breath.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "I'm thinking about calling it 'Free...' I don't know. 'Chicken.'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No. It's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "That's a woman's wig. - I was told it was a bob.", "c": ["Michael", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "That's a woman's wig. I was told it was a bob.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "It's a wonderful performance. You're a regular Brad Garrett.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "That could be Buster. - Could be Gob.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "I wouldn't. I'll make you blue. Rita was just talking about the finger paint... but Michael didn't know that.", "c": ["Rita", "Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "But instead he just sat in his car... and ate a whole thing of candy beans.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Where every day it rains... pennies from heaven!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading-man parts in my mouth.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "An unlicensed Mary Poppins takes down another tourist. Is this the work of the Itsy Bitsy IRA?", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "A lot of people are probably here for the free chicken.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Is that a chicken? Oh, my God. Dad, are you all right? I fooled his own son. I am a leading man.", "c": ["Steve Holt", "Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "I am a leading man.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Keeps him out of the kitchen.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "They don't have a !@%$# prayer. Send the check to my accountant.", "c": ["Harry Hamlin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Wow. She is way out of his league.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "For you see, Rita had a secret of her own.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "For British Eyes Only"}, {"t": "Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?", "c": ["Bob Loblaw"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Bob Loblaw, no habla Espanol", "c": ["Bob Loblaw"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Well, we're not here to talk nonsense to Bob Loblaw", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "How would you like someone going after some stupid person in your family? Now back off, you (bleep) ponce!", "c": ["George Sr.", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's my father. That's why we had the meeting here-- so that he couldn't interfere.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Have we met?", "c": ["Bob Loblaw"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Do you think he got that-- the two meanings?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "He's running pretty fast. I think he did.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Let's call that a half hour. So you're not the only one who's got a date later.", "c": ["Bob Loblaw"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Oh, lunch? Well, better bring some dog food. 'Cause all the girls you date are dogs, and... Dogs love dog food, right, Pop?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I was trying to make you laugh, Dad. That's all I ever wanted.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Rita, don't forget your hat.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "The world's first analrapist.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "But since we have both started to grow hair in unexpected places, I supposed I shall soon be working as a leading man.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I was helping he would be gifted sexually.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "So you're saying shred the evidence? / No, that's illegal... / So you're saying shred the evidence?", "c": ["Michael", "Bob Loblaw", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Wink. Did you say 'wink' or did you wink?", "c": ["Bob Loblaw", "George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Steve Holt's not my son. / Steve Holt? With the moron jock? That's my son, you pothead.", "c": ["Gob", "George Sr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Wait, so that means that Steve Holt is my cousin? And Maeby's cousin, too.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "At the kennel. / Right. Sorry. You lobbed that one right over the plate, Michael. Home run.", "c": ["Gob", "Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I've been having such fun on this space shuttle.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I guess this is what the British think of Americans. / They like our food. / Whatever do you mean?", "c": ["Michael", "Rita"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "your average American male is in perpetual state of adolescence, you know. arrested development. / Hey, that's the name of the show.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "If you like the small, why don't you come back for the medium?", "c": ["Restaurant server"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I don't have a family. / I can't believe I've never told anybody that before.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "If this was a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "You want me to be explicit? / Yes, but I will be needing to get off in four minutes.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Bob Loblaw"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Well, let's see if I can't hit that target for you.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I thought the Donna Karan worked; you just didn't have the right shoes.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Awesome! So you and I can party alone at your house.", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "she'd just green-lit two films that dealt with the very issue", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Michael. I'm doing your cousin tonight. / So are you. / What? She's your cousin, too.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "No, he was just analraping me.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Well, in our defense, Mom, we're not exactly dog people.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "You know, we need some weather balloons for this party and maybe a tank of hydrogen. You know, really float those suckers.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Hey, talk about cathartic. Now that's an act break.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "They're pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness. So if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give 'em one of these, and they forget the whole thing. It's a mainstay of the magician's toolkit, like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "They're pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness. It's a mainstay of the magician's toolkit, like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Gob, this is Flunitrazepam. It's a roofie. Those are illegal. / Shut up, Mom. Don't make me give you another one of these.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Well, this sends a mixed message.", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Take it down. We don't want anything in this house that says 'Rita.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Take a look at banner, Michael!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Everyone froze. Michael feared he'd been caught in a lie about his family. His family feared they'd been caught by a woman they clubbed, drugged and left on a bench.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Perhaps if the sergeant had spoken more slowly she would have.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Everybody's favorite son. / Mr. Terrible.", "c": ["Family", "Family"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Buster, you should have finished the job. Job? What job? Did I say job? I meant Gob.", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "But it turns out that hydrogen is more explosive than helium.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I gave him a roofie. A girl's got to grow up sometime.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "Well, I think even the anti-drug people are going to be okay with that.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I'm willing to debase myself. / Get a maid's uniform and come by my house around 7:00. / There is no way to misinterpret that. / Except the one.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Bob Loblaw", "Lindsay", "Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I've made a huge mistake. / I know the feeling. I had you. / I'm your father, Steve Holt! I can't hide from it anymore.", "c": ["Steve Holt", "Gob", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I won't forget this... Dad. / I will.", "c": ["Steve Holt", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Forget Me Now"}, {"t": "I only took this nanny job so he'd give me a free divorce, and then marry me, so I'd never have to work again.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I've always wanted to make love on a horse.", "c": ["Hope"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "That's so funny, because I can put my leg behind my head.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Of course. Who wouldn't want to snog the nanny?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Michael had recently fallen bum-over-noggin for a beautiful Englishwoman called Rita.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Did I say 'snog' again? Oh, bloody hell.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Did I miss a call?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "God, is that how I look?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "You're right. Do not answer that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I wasn't hurrying to come stop you. I was out on for my daily, uh...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I was in the Olympics once. I won a silver medal.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "And the silver medal. Yes, and you came in second.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "But you take my breath away.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "You're such (bleep).", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Michael was stunned. He assumed Rita was using the word (bleep) in the American sense, meaning weak or cowardly. In fact, Rita meant it in the British sense, meaning sweet or gentle, as in 'pussycat.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Fighting for your country-- you're such a pussy.", "c": ["Movie character"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "When I miss your lips, I'll put a (bleep) in my mouth and think of you.", "c": ["Movie character"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "That also had a different meaning over there.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "But we're not good at that stuff.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "In fact, the only thing George Michael really liked was hanging motionless from the monkey bars. Which the President's Council on Fitness ranks as 'slightly easier than the slide.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Yeah, who's Ann?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "No, I know her name's not Annabelle. That's how I remember her name, 'cause her body's kind of shaped like a...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "She's the belle of the ball.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "She's... she running the lights or something?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Well, it's half. It's at the State Fair, which this year is gonna be a Church and State Fair.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "There's no such thing as an inner beauty pageant. They're just gonna pick the chick with the best T and A.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "As a child, Maeby had been entered into a number of progressive pageants that claimed to celebrate beauty in all its forms. But the winners still tended to have it 'going on' in the conventional sense.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I don't know where that hair of yours came from. Shameless Plugs, on Placentia. Looks pretty good, huh? And they're not licensed, which means big savings.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I'm guessing 'have sex', but that's meeting you more than halfway.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I'll show them a little T and A. Tobias and Ann.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Yeah, I think you just did.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I heard the jury's still out on science.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Come on. I lie to yours all the time.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Second place is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "So I step in and, uh, lay her crown upon my sweet head.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Have I missed this euphemism?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "You know, uh, you got to stop saying your name all the time.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Only for a wimp, a wuss, a (bleep). And Steve didn't mean pussycat.", "c": ["Steve Holt", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Uncle Mike! Steve Holt! Both men felt good about themselves. Uncle Mike! Steve Holt! But Gob didn't share their enthusiasm.", "c": ["Steve Holt", "Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "So this is how Michael gets rid of my son? By stealing him? Well, I'll just have to steal something of his. Like, say, his bicycle. As a... placeholder.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't believe I chose this moment to call you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "It's Surely.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Just watch, Surely's inner beauty will get trumped by her outer icky.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "It had been purchased for her at a charity auction she'd attended as a studio executive, $10,000 by Jamie Kennedy.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "But I'm not putting you in my remake of A Thoroughly Polite Dustup.", "c": ["Jamie Kennedy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "My God, he's already lost a hand. If he loses a leg, how will we ever get him out of the apartment?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Where's your hand? Oh, it got stuck in the prize hole again. I told you not to play that stupid game anymore. Ah! There goes number three.", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "You'll do anything to get out of (bleep) in this apartment. Ah, you're drunk.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "'At Risk Male Youth.' That spells 'Army.'", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "And that's when Buster discovered a recruiting pool the government had been fishing for years.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Actually, Lucille went down faster.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Have sex with this girl right now. Do it, go. Get in there. Have some sex with her right now. I didn't think so.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "You can control your bladder when you're dead. No blood, no oil! There's no 'I' in 'win.'", "c": ["Fitness instructor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I thought he was older, and... more manly.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Hey, does anyone know why my handlebars are in my bed?!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "They're, uh, pills filled with oxygen. They keep you from being incontinent. Have one, they're called Oxy-Incontinent.", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "About just as much as Big Bird and the Keebler elves.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Is he ugly?", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "She can stand! The Lord's blessed her!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I just thought you wanted to hang out and do guy stuff.", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Outgrown you. That is the term I've been looking for.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Outgrown you. That is the term I've been looking for.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Of course, they were way older.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Hey, do this with me!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I can't go back, I can't go back!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "And he decided to escape in the bulletproof one.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, no. Come on! I can't go back.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "because I could not take you being away in the Army.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I think I'm gonna go get one of those corn dog crosses. With all the 'crucifixins'?", "c": ["Steve Holt", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "You're a complete and utter... (bleep) I can't believe we had to bleep that. It would have been such a nice moment.", "c": ["Rita", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "Thank God I wasn't in the Humvee.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Notapusy"}, {"t": "I hate it when they hire Yanks to play Brits. You can always tell.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Besides, I already got him his big present for his birthday. A suit! Dad, it's a Jack Welch. I want you to look under the pants.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Quicken! Premier. Dad, I hope you kept the receipt. - You wanna return that? - No, I wanna deduct it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Really, he would only like it for the receipt.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Okay, that's, uh, that wa... that was fun. Still, the land probably shouldn't have given out beneath us.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "I won't tattle.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- Whee! - And Rita was falling for Michael too. But that wasn't part of the plan.", "c": ["Rita", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "I'm a woman too! Not some robot you get to tell everything to.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "'You do the math, Rita.' Well, no, you do the math.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "I'm a big girl.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- Hey, what happened to you? - Oh, I got highlights. - It'll blend in about a week.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "It probably has something to do with the 4,000 hair plugs I had in one sitting.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Yeah, but he's too busy going to the gym to see his friend Frank. Oh, we're more than friends. I'm kind of his spotter. Missed a spot.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- You're blowing my mind, Frank. - I'm an agent, and I'd like to work with you. Oh. Oh!", "c": ["Gob", "Frank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Frank said CIA, a government agency that was responsible for this catastrophe. But Tobias thought he said CAA, a talent agency that was responsible for this one.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Actually, she'd already gotten one... as the movie she'd released in her secret life as a studio executive was losing money.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- But didn't some people die in Hell Tunnel? - That is an urban legend. Two elderly people got badly scalded...", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- You know, she was in the Olympics? - She wasn't. - Wasn't she on the cover of Newsweek? - No. - Yes. - Michael was thinking of this man.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "The whole backside has moles. That's Frank's problem too.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Hey, I didn't say that.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- Typical. - Delicious.", "c": ["Lucille", "Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- I need a drink. - I'll take an English muffin.", "c": ["Lucille", "Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "And Godzilla! - Godzirra! - Just sit down. - Okay, guys. - Godzirra!", "c": ["Gob", "Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- What? We're out of vodka. - Sorry. I thought you were doing Godzilla.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Build a miniature city. Put it outside their window. Tell them it's far away. It'll look real if you squint. God knows they're squinters.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- Another brilliant idea, Einstein. - Really? - Larry really never knows how to sell the sarcasm.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Oh, great. That's another brilliant idea, Steinberg.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Life is not some cheesy Japanese movie... where the hero pulls on a pair of jet pants and... flies off the balcony like Astroboy.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "And that's when George Sr. Did a Web search for the words, 'Jet pants.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Let's start with my family's misdemeanors... and then push right on through to the lighter treasons.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Do you know any other songs?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- And it could be an alias. - Alias is a show about a spy!", "c": ["Bob Loblaw", "Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Hell Tunnel takes another name. Will it take another life?", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "I'd wear it to school, but who needs a Welch wedge, right? That's when they... Enough business.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "'Fun' and 'Failure' both start out the same way.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- I'm never gonna find my way... - past that hallway sensor.", "c": ["Larry", "George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "If mother sees this, she will blow a cow.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Goody! Yeah. I do want to. Yea. I do want to. Goody.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Only Larry was disappointed. But he was such a pro you'd never know it.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "I shall be a bigger, hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "!@%$# Tantamount.", "c": ["Actor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- Well, what if I crash it? - That's half the fun.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Oh! Me!@%s are wet.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Well, that was a freebie.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "The jet pack... had come with an instructional DVD that seemed to confuse more than clarify.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "And it did seem like a lot of work... for a little payoff. - Have fun! - Have fun.", "c": ["Narrator", "DVD"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "And it did seem like a lot of work... for a little payoff. Have fun! Have fun.", "c": ["Narrator", "DVD"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "We're like a couple of girls on the last day of camp.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "He had, in the poorly narrated reality series, Scandalmakers.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Ishiro said, 'I am reassured. And they treat us with respect this time.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Motoyoshi said, 'I thought the woman was pretending as a monster... but she was just out of vodka.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- I'm a mole! - Not the village!", "c": ["Tobias", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Hard to breathe in this thing. It's really hot. I'm sweating all over myself. I can't stop this thing!", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- You're blowing my audition! - I ache with embarrassment.", "c": ["Tobias", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Tobias F\u00fcnke. You're Mr. F.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "No, I'm not, Mother. I mean lover. - I like making love to Mother. - I mean lover!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "It took some idiot parrot man with a camera in his hat to bring us together.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "But even a pro like Larry has a breaking point.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- MRF? What's that? - Mentally retarded female.", "c": ["CIA Agents"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- That explains what she's doing with him. - And the hats.", "c": ["CIA Agents"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "- What's that? - A prize. A lovely, lovely prize.", "c": ["Rita", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mr. F"}, {"t": "Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Who the hell to? / Who do you think? Rita. / Her? / Why?", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Well, first of all, she needs a green card to stay in the country. / There it is. / She needs a green card to stay in the country, because, secondly...", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "She was special. / Are houses terribly hard to make? / Actually, the hardest part is finding the land. / But she wasn't smart. / Instead of making houses, maybe you should make land.", "c": ["Narrator", "Rita", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "For Rita had only mentally progressed to the level of a first grader. / There's no land on the ocean. / You're brilliant.", "c": ["Narrator", "Rita", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "All right, now look, just because a woman gets pregnant doesn't mean you have to marry her. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an IUD. / It was Stuckey's. / But I believed you.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "This is funny! / He's gay! / Where's your hand? / Oh. I'm having my high school ring put on it, and my hook is stuck in the staircar.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Domo arigoto, Mister Roboto...", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "And I like to keep the light on. / That way I can see if you have a monster. / Night-night. / Can you shut the door on your way out?", "c": ["Michael", "Rita"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Let's just all relax, and remind ourselves that we don't have any money. / She's already gotten our money!", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Oh, big deal, I had that same basic idea years ago.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Ah, here comes the bride. / Hey. What are you doing in a wheelchair? / No, no, no, it's a dolly to help videotape your nuptials.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Okay, so my legs and my left arm occasionally 'go to sleep,' and you want to call it a health problem.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "No, thank you, I don't need your help. / It does seem like you've been having a whole lot of trouble since the hair transplants.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Maybe you should see a bubuman. / A... 'bubuman'? / Oh, uh, a doctor. It's a British expression. Like they say 'go-up box' instead of 'elevator.'", "c": ["Rita", "Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Oh, like when they say 'poofter' to mean 'tourist,' yes. / Boy, that Rita's a smarty.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Maybe they could walk. / Across the ocean? / If it's not too deep.", "c": ["Rita", "Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "No, deep is good. People are going to say, 'What the hell just happened? I better say I like it.' 'Cause nobody wants to seem stupid.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "The Ocean Walker. / Holy crap, that's going to look good on a hat.", "c": ["Rita", "Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "You want me to do a magic show at the wedding. I'm on it. / So glad we pushed through that. / No magic.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Put her out! Put her out! / Tracy! / Thank God we already did the pictures.", "c": ["Multiple voices", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I am going to get you the single healthiest call girl that this town has ever seen.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm not going to spend this kind of money and not watch.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Hey, hello. Well, look at you two, Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum. / Michael didn't mean it in that way. / How could he, he didn't even know.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "You guys have these jackets on inside out? / Yeah, that way you see the label. / Yeah, I mean, that's what you're paying for, right? It's a great statement on fashion. / Plus, it doesn't tickle your neck.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay", "Rita"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "King... takes his queen... and showers her with diamonds! / Clubs. / Club sauce. / He covers her with club sauce.", "c": ["Gob", "Rita"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I don't appreciate the dry British humor.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Oh, lighter fluid--like Uncle Trevor uses! / But wherever did it come from?", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "How long can you hold your breath? / Oh, long. One time, 20 minutes. / Actually, her record was 20 seconds.", "c": ["Gob", "Rita", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Now, I just need to find a trick that puts you out of oxygen for 20 minutes.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "What if I find a trick that has her float to the alter or something? / No, no. Love for her to walk. And not to drown. / Or fly through the air. Or catch on fire.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Is she allergic to cat fur? / Oop-- no tigers.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Well, I-I-I was hoping maybe for more than just our rooms to touch. / I was... thinking maybe we could be... in the same room. / Be in the same bed. / Oh, I see what you mean, a real sleepover.", "c": ["Michael", "Rita"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "And my tiny teddy. / Good. Yes, get that.", "c": ["Rita", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Hot potato, hot potato... / Hot po-ta-to... Hot 'potat-o'...", "c": ["Rita", "George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "That's when he first grew concerned.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I know what it is, Trevor, I've seen your secret magazine. / Spoon and figgy pudding. / Rabbit downdum druggary's hollow. / And I want to have pop-pop.", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Well, the very fact that you call it that, tells me you're not ready. / Oh, and for your information, that's a cricket magazine.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I mean, it's not your fault your parents were cousins, but... here we are.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Well, Michael will be my cousin soon enough, cause we're getting married. / Married?! / Married! / Totally out of the question! / Married! Married! Married!", "c": ["Rita", "Trevor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I'm putting the invisible locks on the door. / That's not fair. / Lock. Lock. Lock. / That's not fair! / It's just not fair! / Lock. Lock.", "c": ["Trevor", "Rita"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Michael briefly considered faking the voice. / I... She's in the shower. / I'll wait. / Let's wait.", "c": ["Narrator", "Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Wow, that Blossom blew up, huh?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "And that local calls were $2.95 a minute. / Come on! / That's where they get you.", "c": ["Narrator", "Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "You can't unlock this door? / I can't even see half the locks! / They're invisible. / Trevor's the only one who can see them. / I'm trapped!", "c": ["Michael", "Rita"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "And so, Michael set about rescuing the beautiful, sweet, mentally challenged woman he'd fallen in love with, without realizing she was mentally challenged.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I hate that ( bleep ) doll.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Let the hand-outs begin! / There's not gonna be any hand-outs, and she is not gonna marry your son.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Trevor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "You are not gonna get Rita's millions just because she's mentally challenged. / Millions? / Mentally challenged? / Shh! It's not polite.", "c": ["Trevor", "George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Yes, it's funny how Americans don't pick up on that. I think it's 'cause of her accent and the plastic surgery she's been able to afford.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "We think he may be mentally challenged. / What?", "c": ["George Sr.", "Trevor"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "We have got 24 hours to get them married before Michael figures out what she really is. / This the first time in two years you've sounded like George Bluth.", "c": ["Lucille", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Mere fact that you call it that tells me that you are ready.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I was videotaping Rita. / Let's just say it would be cute if it was someone much younger.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "It's the plastic fruit, Dad. / It's very convincing fruit, okay? / Is she going back in for another? / Well, you know, they don't even have bananas in England, okay, son?", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I think she might be... retar... retarded. / I'm sorry. / I'm really sorry.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Say hello to my tiny teddy. / Oh! Tiny Teddy!", "c": ["Rita", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Oh, you teach kids, huh? / Oh, I like to think they teach me. / That way I can see if you have a monster. / Be careful.", "c": ["Michael", "Rita"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I've made a huge mistake.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "For instance, you've never told me how many houses there are in the British Parliament. / Seven. / Are there? / The answer is three. / Does sound about right. / Three is the correct answer.", "c": ["Michael", "Rita"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Rita corny, Michael. / You know, I think that we should wait until after we're married. / Married! / Married, married, married!", "c": ["Rita", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "And Michael felt he deserved a $15 thing of candy beans.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Show them the waffle bar, Larry. / It's over there. / And check out banner, Michael!", "c": ["Lucille", "Larry", "Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I want to get married and have sexual relations like you promised. / Where did you get this firecracker? / I... love her, Michael.", "c": ["Rita", "George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Yeah. With the exception of the retard thing.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "I'm crazy about the little dullard.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Larry go to a mirror! / You're fired. / You're fired. / What?! / It's over.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "For instance, in some states, it's legal to marry your own cousin. / California's blocked it twice, but that's only because they tacked it onto an estate law thing that wasn't gonna pass. / We had the signatures...", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "She probably can't list the seven Houses of Parliament. / There's three.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "That's not gonna be easy. She's an Olympic Silver. / Just figured that one out.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Okay. Well, I'll have to go stop production on The Ocean Walker.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Maybe you're not smart, either. / I didn't know until they told me. / No, I'm just a narcissist who was too self-involved to see the truth.", "c": ["Rita", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "That's gonna be difficult, Rita. You're gonna be across an ocean. / Well, you can always walk. / Not on the water. / Oh, Michael, you're such a grown-up.", "c": ["Michael", "Rita"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "Hang on a sec. That's part of your trick, right? / No. / That's not my trick, Michael. / It's my illusion.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ocean Walker"}, {"t": "What do you need? / Need? Why do you think I need something?", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Or should I say... 'play dates.'", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Michael had been so devastated by their breakup that he'd even broken out the old guitar", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I don't know, does she play guitar?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "And how about that little piece of tail on her? / I've opened a door here that I regret.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "She has a name, Mother. And it's 'Mother.'", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Stay in this box that Uncle/Father Oscar left behind. In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana.", "c": ["Buster", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Oh, good, you've already got grass. / Primo bud. Real sticky weed.", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "TBA debacle flashback sequence", "c": ["Various Bluths"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Somebody saw Seinfeld last night. / Ovarian cancer. Gee, I wonder who that was.", "c": ["Lucille", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Much to their surprise, the Bluths ended up raising over $25,000 to fight 'TBA.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "And then\u2014and here's the really horrible part\u2014they did it again the following year.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Keep fighting, little guy. With your support of the Bluth Foundation, we'll live in a galaxy where 'TBA' does not exist.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "His hobby was making papier-m\u00e2ch\u00e9 copies of his own head.", "c": ["Narrator", "George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I promised myself I wasn't going to become one of those people who were always going on about their screenplays.", "c": ["Warden Gentles"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Warden Gentles had convinced his granddaughters' teacher to mount New Warden as a school play.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Nobody sells any coke in this pen without daddy getting a taste. / Beat him with a pillow case full of batteries.", "c": ["Children actors"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Oh, right. Uh, he spoke at my school for a 'Startled Straight' assembly.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I think you will find the dessert both engrossing and high grossing. / So, we don't get dessert?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Warden"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "G.V.H.: Graft Versus Host. It's new, it's fatal, and guess who's got it?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Either you remove your hair graft, or the host\u2014you\u2014will get sicker and eventually die.", "c": ["Doctor", "Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Can you think of any benefits? / Benefits? No. He'll die.", "c": ["Lucille", "Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, no, I get that. But have there ever been any fund-raisers?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Did you see the attention Superman's wife got?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh! This is going hurt! / You know what? We're going to need this from another angle.", "c": ["Tobias", "Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Who's the 'her' in that sentence? / Mom. Warden Gentles likes Mom. / 'Her?'", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, don't leave your Uncle Teabag hanging. / Please don't call yourself that.", "c": ["Tobias", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "What he was having trouble with was looking directly at his dying uncle.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Uncle/Father Oscar? What are you doing here?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I could never leave a little bud behind.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. My turtle was living in it before he ate all the grass and died.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "At least you can stay and help me bury my poor turtle. / Or we could cremate it.", "c": ["Buster", "Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "You can't park there! No stair car parking! / Sorry, I forgot.", "c": ["Guard", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I've had to go to his parole hearings twice, and lie through my teeth to keep him here.", "c": ["Warden Gentles"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I might have you beaten with a pillowcase full of batteries.", "c": ["Warden Gentles"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Who's the 'I' in that sentence? / Me. / You? / Her.", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille", "Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Plus, she's married, okay? She can't be writhing around underneath... What is wrong with you?! It's disgusting! God!", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "But, thankfully, he'd found a way to forget that. / I've got a thing of pills in my pocket.", "c": ["Narrator", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Listen, new fish, that bunk was open because the last guy wouldn't do the things that you're going to do. / We're going to do things?", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Don't make the water too hot\u2014the scabs come right off.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Oh, it's on 'standby'! / Got another one in you?", "c": ["Buster", "Oscar"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Although, it wasn't the first time he'd been knocked out by a powerful lid.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Oh, then why do we care? / What is wrong with everyone?", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Well... where the hell else are they gonna go at 4:00 in the afternoon?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Howdy doody, that's it.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "She just called to ask me to bring her a tube of vag... ...table paste. Hi, George Michael.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "But this, too, would prove challenging, as the family had no books. Other than those.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Enjoy the chlamydia, Lucille. / Take this newly-diseased woman to the hole.", "c": ["Warden Gentles"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I wish I'd read The Man Inside Me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "It's not a Jamba Juice, Michael. / Shouldn't be that hard to break into.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. You're not really smiling. / I'm Oscar.", "c": ["Buster", "Oscar"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Good. Now we know what the strap was for.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Drew a map of it on my stomach. It's upside down, so it might be a little awkward. / It was awkward.", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "If you're gonna party, you want to bring it inside? That was a freebie.", "c": ["Prison Guard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "That would be the happiest moment George Michael would ever experience in his life.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I don't think there's going to be an 'I'm Oscar' website this time. I think this time I'll do a podcast.", "c": ["Warden Gentles"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Sounds like a tennis match between Steffi Graf and Happy Days star Donny Host. / It's Most.", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "No, not that candy ball machine.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "When Toby first came into the family, none of us much wanted him around. But that's because we couldn't see what was on the inside. But lately, that's all we've been able to see.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "No way. That horse hair is my ticket back into society.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I'd rather give to T.B.A.! This is bull(bleep)!", "c": ["Gala attendee"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Just as the prisoners had proven they could throw a gala as well as the rich, so the rich proved they could throw a riot just as well as the prisoners.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I want to cry so bad. But I don't think I can spare the moisture.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "You gave him chlamydia? / He had crabs, and I said, 'You're gonna get laughs.'", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "I can't say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia.", "c": ["Warden Gentles"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "That I didn't need to hear.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "We ready to have some fun? I'm so glad I didn't cry. That I didn't need to hear.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "George Michael experiences his unhappiest moment ever.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "No! Not here! Wait. I've seen this before. Oh, God, I've seen this before!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Prison Break In"}, {"t": "Okay, you can turn the music off. I already shot my wad. Off. No, that's tape.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "I have got a quick way for us to literally be showered with money.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "I think they're called Colombians. Oh, I forgot, we're being politically correct now.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "A Colombian cartel that won't kidnap and kill you. I underlined 'won't,' 'cause it makes the competition look like...", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Translation: Wish I'd thought of that. Nice translating, Dad.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "It's not stupid. You're stupid. Nice pout, Dad.", "c": ["Gob", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "If I didn't have a live dove in my pants right now, I would leap across this table", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "You and half of Orange County.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Boyfights 2, A Boyfights Cookout, and Backseat Boyfights: The Trip to Uncle Jack's 70th", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Very secret. He doesn't even know, does he? He has not known of it. That's correct.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Why won't you (bleep) me?!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Well, our copy boy's very striking, but he often has toner on his fingers. I meant another lawyer.", "c": ["Bob Loblaw", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Perhaps you can talk to Maeby while you're getting your eyebrows plucked. It'll look like your eyes are watering 'cause you're sad.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Que? What's Spanish for 'I know you speak English'?", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Mom, if you're gonna speak to these guys like this, you might want to sleep with one eye open.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Hope you kept your punch card, you're about due for a free one.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Mom, however, will not have a choice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "That ship sailed 35 years ago.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Boyfights? Luchas del Muchachos. Si, Luchas del Muchachos! We had this video. Si!", "c": ["Workers"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Yo quiero leche, yo quiero leche del madre. Even though I'm so old.", "c": ["Worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Okay, I'll just take off this cheap fake, huh? And we going to put on this sign. Beautiful. You like?", "c": ["Store Owner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "They only wanted me because I had one hand. And I won't do it! That's not the way Mother is raising me.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Of course, I left my hand there, also.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "That's a bloodsucker? It looks like Alf.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "And I'm trying to get her to renounce God and (bleep) me.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Well, as always, Gob, a mixed bag there, but the middle part sounded pretty admirable for a second", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "If you feel something moving down there, it's just the bird. I know it.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Don't call it that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "You're just scared of a little competish.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Don't tell them! Stick it in the what?!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "We'll be the laughingstock of the boardwalk.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Well, we'll fudge that.", "c": ["Bob Loblaw"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Don't call it that. Okay.", "c": ["Tobias", "Treat"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "You want me to be explicit?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "You better not lock it! I'll kick it in!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "I was like, 'Make it two weeks! See if I care!'", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Sorry, no refunds. And that's why you don't take your foot out of its wrapper.", "c": ["Prosthetics Shop"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Even if it means me never taking a job again. A pulse makes him worth it.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Hello? George Michael? I'm thirsty.", "c": ["Lucille", "Maeby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Is my name 'Champ'?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Dad, are they strippers? If I know your uncle, they're at least strippers.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "But it was less entertaining than you might imagine-- no matter what music was put under it.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "It was kind of funny to 'Yellow Submarine,' but who could afford it?", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "A Hefty bagfull of pesos.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "'The only scary thing about a one-arm man trying to scare someone is the fact...' '...that he feels that his one arm is good for nothing but trying to scare somebody.' It's upside down.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Let's just hope they don't try to get even by trying to 'cirsumventing' the law.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "But we are Guatemalan. Won't he know the difference? I think anything south of San Diego will be just fine.", "c": ["Worker", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Between a dad and his... his favorite son.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Gob Bluth doesn't cave. Yeah, you just did for me. Well, you asked me to, so I thought... Go. Go. Go. It's fine.", "c": ["Gob", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Blah-Blah-Blah. At 8:30, unless you want to sit at the bar.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Of course-- the 'Bob Loblaw Law Blog.' Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "While Tobias was trying to get his mouth around Bob Loblaw", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Who did that for you, Industrial Light and Magic? Kopelson Plastic and Silicon.", "c": ["Mort", "Maeby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Oh, I forgot my iPod.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Put on the sound effects! Put on the sound effects! CD... CD one! CD one! Track two! Track two!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "He's good. He was a Groundling.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "And that's why you don't teach your father a lesson.", "c": ["J. Walter Weatherman"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "And that's why you don't pit Gob and me against each other.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "And that's why you don't use a one-armed person to scare someone.", "c": ["J. Walter Weatherman"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "I'm thirsty... Gangee.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "I'm thirsty... Gangee.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Making A Stand"}, {"t": "Then get Bob Loblaw to hire to hire me another surrogate. That's kind of the point. Mr. Loblaw no longer works for us, because someone wanted a boyfriend.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "I'm talking about all of you getting jobs. [beat] Who threw the tomato?", "c": ["Michael", "Family"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Oh, no, not the Milford Academy. Children were neither were to be seen nor heard at the school Buster had attended.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Oh, great. That sounds like another one of those gradeless, structureless, new age feel-gooderies.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "The boy who couldn't cry. He's a robot! Michael can cry. He doesn't want to rust. Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz. Tin man? Is that what he's called? He knows.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Gob", "Lucille", "Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "You know, Mom, I think the only time you ever cooked for us, was the morning Rosa's mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "As what, a waiter? Can I get you something, madam? I will have a vodka, though. What? Oh.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob", "Lucille"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Instead of us all selling out and becoming housewives and waiters, why don't we have a big event? Some sort of 'save our Bluths' type thing.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "We'll throw a legal defense fund dinner. Ask for donations. As long as we don't look desperate.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Please tell your friends about this show.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "I found that canned ham that we'd had forever, and I put it in a pot of boiling water, and guess what I'm calling it? Soup? Hot ham water.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Yes, he's a regular Freddy Wilson, that one. I don't know that reference. I don't either. I don't know either. It's this guy.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael", "Lindsay", "George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm just taking a three real quick, so I can get a cream soda. Oh, I'll get that for you. No, I will get it. I have to get it myself.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "You know, Michael, if I may take off my acting pants for a moment and pull my analrapist stocking over my head, George Michael has been acting strange lately.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "I think he may have developed what we in the soft sciences refer to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Or the O.C. disorder. Don't call it that.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "It says, 'over.' Probably have to crack this open to be sure, but this sounds like an expulsion letter.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Actually, Maeby had been on the set of a film called Snowboarding School 2, in her secret life as a film executive.", "c": ["Narrator", "Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Non-traditional mother. Yes, you're right. After all, I am her father.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Your drink, madam. Can I get you anything? Get that one out of here. As you please. But Lucille had never made eye contact with a waiter.", "c": ["Gob", "Lucille", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "We're all out of the halibut. The joke was over... but the lunch rush was just beginning.", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Yeah, the HBO's not going to want us. What do we do now?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Actually, I may have an in with Andy Richter. Do you think you can get him? I'm kidding. Of course, not him.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Remember what happened when we sent Lindsay to that kind of school? All of a sudden I was the bad guy to her. And you don't respect Mom and you don't respect women. Are you married? Damn school.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "George Sr. did more than just say it. He sent the man a basket of poisoned muffins. Do you know the Muffin Man? There's a reward in it if you do.", "c": ["Narrator", "George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Then-- would you like some foam in your coffee? It's called a cuppakeno and wait till you see what it costs.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "You can say what you want about the Milford Academy-- the kids that came out of there, prepared for life. Does anyone know how to eat one of these? It doesn't do anything.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Buster"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "There was Andy the showoff, Donny the sensitive one, Jerrifth the flirt, Rocky the risk-taker and Andy's stunt double and Emmet who asked that we not show his picture.", "c": ["Donny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "A student either learns and gets an 'L,' or they fluctuate in their learning. What do we get for that? An 'F.' Mr. F.", "c": ["Donny", "Maeby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Okay, first of all, Variety got it wrong, all right? We didn't even want this project. It was a co-finance with Miramax then, poof, Miramax is gone and we're still on the hook, and it turns out Jamie Kennedy can't even snowboard.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "We are going to stuff each one of these gift bags with a head shot, some glitter, and a decorative hand soap. And don't forget the funny notes. 'I know where you live. Ha-ha.'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "I walked. I tried hitchhiking, but it's hard to do without a thumb.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. It's hot ham water.", "c": ["Buster", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "It's like I don't do my homework, George Michael does my homework. And that's when he decided it was time to cheat off of her. It also gave him an opportunity to smell her neck.", "c": ["Maeby", "Narrator", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "He pretends he's the great father all of a sudden and acts like he's all worried about me, but it turns out he just does it so I can help him with his joke of a career. No wonder Mom wanted out so bad.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar. Oh, Gob... you could charm the black off a telegram boy.", "c": ["Gob", "Customer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Okay, we'll just tell you now. She's the one who dies.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "And maybe later you can save a little piece of tail for me. Come on! I hope that isn't the sort of humor Andy McMahon will be doing.", "c": ["Gob", "Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "How dare that Donny Richter. You know, you got to take care of that guy or I will. I'm just going to pull him out of that school.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Well, am I the only one that thinks that this family is finally starting to become sympathetic and relatable? I mean, that's what people want to see.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "She glued my thumb back on. Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me, or is she looking hotter, too? Well, why don't you marry her? Maybe I will!", "c": ["Buster", "Lucille", "Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Yes, he is available. Uh, let me put my, uh, our assistant on the phone with you. Thanks, Deb. Yeah. So he's Tortured Victim #4, right? Yeah, he's really into discipline.", "c": ["Tobias", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Thanks, Deb. Yeah. So he's Tortured Victim #4, right? No, that's great. Yeah, he's really into discipline.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Because I've never done that before, Dad, I swear. I just couldn't think of anything to write about you, so I asked her to write it about her dad. Yeah, it was stupid of me. Now Donny's met you. I mean, he's never going to believe that you were ever up for a part in Wicked.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I'm only making it look like that. He's totally in charge of the situation.", "c": ["Rocky"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "I always pictured a giant six-foot muffin trying to eat me while I was eating him. It's kind of a fantasy I go to a lot now.", "c": ["Rocky/Emmitt"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Now that's a clear cut situation with a promise of comedy. Tell your friends.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Poached salmonella? It'll be fine. I'll just put the sauce on them. What kind of sauce is that? Wait, this is the water I thawed the chicken in. Oh. Well, that should go with chicken.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "You're the Muffin Man? You poisoned 25 teachers during the '70s? Just the first two. The others were copycats.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "But that's not the truth. We've been given plenty of chances. And maybe the Bluths just aren't worth saving, maybe we're not that likable, you know. We're very self-centered. And my father may be the worst of us.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Wait, no, no! Where's everyone going? No one's leaving until I get my money! I'll follow you to your cars! Oh, and then that old racist woman choked on Buster's thumb. My thumb!", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator", "Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "OCD? No, I'm just cleaning up after Aunt Lindsay. She never turns things off. Well... Guess that explains why I saw the hedge trimmer zipping around the drive way.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "I love my cousin. Love you, too, pal.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "It didn't sound desperate. Well, I guess it really doesn't pay to be desperate. It sure doesn't. And... cut!", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "S.O.B.S"}, {"t": "Well, they've got one guy who won't be talking. That is, unless there's a hand inside of him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Oh, please, Michael. Even then, I wouldn't say anything.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "He is re-dyed, rested and ready to work.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I think he meant 'get Franklin'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Franklin, guess what? / But I don't know anything. / He certainly hasn't heard anything from me.", "c": ["Gob", "Franklin", "Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Your father says he wants me to go all the way to Fallujah. I thought he meant the sex act that's so popular with your generation.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I know you're awake. Faker!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Whoa. I did not say that. / You did, Gob. Your mouth moved. Your hand didn't.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Yet you refer to her as a she. / He, she, what's the difference? / Hear, hear. In the dark it all looks the same.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Not another media whore. / Like to see a whore that does that! / Not the carrying the weight part, but, on the other hand, if it's free.", "c": ["Lucille", "Lucille", "Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "You know, Michael, just because you played a role, doesn't make it real. Of course, Buster did grow up to be Captain Hook.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Not cool, Mom.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I'm doing a tech rehearsal for my new show, Judge Reinhold. It's a reality courtroom show. / You know that there's an actor by that name, right?", "c": ["Jan Eagleman", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "This is what they put me in. Why did I lose all the weight if they're gonna put me in pool cover?", "c": ["Jan Eagleman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I read somewhere Judge Judy made $25 million last year. And I'm like, 'Hey, I never even heard of the guy.'", "c": ["Jan Eagleman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "So, you're doing this because your name is Judge? / Honestly, this is the first time I put those two things together.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan Eagleman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "My name is Judge.", "c": ["Magazine ad"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I'll show him. I'll make a fool out of him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I just pray it's one of those things where he's unconscious throughout the entire trial, and when it's over, he wakes up and gets a big toy.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Are you responsible for this, Mom? Did you put one of your sons into a coma so that he can't testify?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Michael, how dare you? Of course it crossed my mind, but this was all Buster.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Hope you don't mind me saying, but these things can go on indefinitely. My mother's been in that bed for two years. / How awful. / We don't have a private room.", "c": ["Brian", "Lindsay", "Brian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Looks a little bit more like Red Prawn, Dad.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "That's the same representation Captain Hook had.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "It's so good to laugh again. / Feels good. / It does. / They say seven minutes heals all wounds.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille", "George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Wait, not the Judge Reinhold show from all those magazine ads? They're all over the place. Look at this. / My name is Judge.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Magazine ad"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I could use this in my ventriloquism act. / They have a bar here?", "c": ["Gob", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Well, Buster's in what we call a light-to-no-coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "No, that's him.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimp Fest.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Would I have to touch the old people? / Only their hearts. You could be a groom. / I don't have a girlfriend. / Sister, then. Or a cousin.", "c": ["George Michael", "Nurse", "George Michael", "Nurse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Of course, you're gonna have to kiss. / Guess who liked that idea? / He says he doesn't want to do it.", "c": ["Nurse", "Narrator", "George Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I mean, the girl I would want to give, and she'll want to give, too. And we'll do that together. It's for them, for the sake of... I just... It's a great day... For being sad.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I love soup. If the only thing I could do was lay in bed all day and eat soup, I'd be happy. I wouldn't even have to taste it. I could just take it through a tube. That would actually be better, 'cause I wouldn't even burn my mouth.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Never let me die.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "My name is Judge. / Whose name is Judge? / My name is. / Okay. / That's a silly name. / Judge my name. / Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly. / Is. / Please stop. / Now you're correcting my grammar?", "c": ["Magazine ad", "Gob", "Magazine ad", "Gob", "Magazine ad", "Gob", "Magazine ad", "Gob", "Magazine ad", "Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Judge. / He's right, his name is Judge now.", "c": ["Magazine ad", "Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Nichael Bluth? Am I N. Bluth? Is he trying to set me up? If I'm N. Bluth, I'm going to prison.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Nichael was worried.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Well, I guess your dad must've had these from way back when, huh? / My name is... / That seems kind of current.", "c": ["Michael", "Magazine ad", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "And so, like many people who no longer felt anything for each other, they decided to get married.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Close to Christmas. Was that hard?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "For God's sake, it's a typo, Michael. What kind of father do you think I am? / That is my birthday. / Close to Christmas. Was that hard?", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Why can't you be like Buster? He put himself in a coma to protect this family, poor kid.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Shrimp Fest is over, Pop. / Really? Better go to Chili's.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Show me your sign. / No, the other side. / Tobias, Brian and I believe in the dignity of every human being. Now, why don't we leave the fruits with the vegetables, and go get a coffee?", "c": ["Father Ben", "Father Ben", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Now, why don't we leave the fruits with the vegetables, and go get a coffee?", "c": ["Father Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I can't do this. I can't do this. / But we're not... / What am I doing?", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Now it's a bar mitzvah.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Now it's a bar mitzvah.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Patient presented with gastric bacterial infection coupled with peptic ulcers. Tetracycline should not be administered due to allergies.", "c": ["Gob", "medical tape"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Wow. Sounds like you could use some tricycling.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "You were gonna say 'mockery,' weren't you? / I was in trouble, like, three words into that.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Read the Patriot Act. Anything said in a mock trial or daytime courtroom show can be used in any real criminal proceeding or primetime procedural show, subject to the interpretation of the presiding judge or the executive producer.", "c": ["Wayne"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "In our case, Judge Reinhold is both. / Did he get E.P? / Sure did. / Good for him.", "c": ["Wayne", "Michael", "Wayne", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I'm trying to get on with my life. / Yeah, so is what remains of Buster.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Brian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Well, just fake it! / Coma.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Buster"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Wow, thank you. That's the first time I ever got a standing ovation before the show.", "c": ["Judge Reinhold"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "They're not clapping. / They don't in a courtroom. / Please be seated.", "c": ["Someone", "Someone", "Judge Reinhold"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Well, I spend so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "And if this were the real trial, I'd cry here. I'm saving my good stuff, too.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "My name is Judge. / What kind of name is that, magazine? / I'm just gonna go ahead and jump in right here. I have nothing for him.", "c": ["Franklin/Magazine", "Jan Eagleman", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Well, it looks like we've got a mistrial. But on the plus side, we've also got a hung jury.", "c": ["Judge Reinhold"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "But it's just a mock trial. Why didn't you just take it to the grand jury? / Wanted to prove to you that I could do it. / I'm going to a grand jury with that now. / Actually, Michael had no idea that's what he was supposed to do.", "c": ["Judge Reinhold", "Michael", "Judge Reinhold", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "For, as it turns out, the fake priest was called to a patient's room, and Father Ben filled in, not knowing it was fake. / Congratulations. / And that's how the kids got married.", "c": ["Narrator", "Father Ben", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "For, as it turns out, the fake priest was called to a patient's room, and Father Ben filled in, not knowing it was fake.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Hard to sit when you got someone's hand up your ass.", "c": ["Bud Cort puppet"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Hard to sit when you got someone's hand up your ass. / All right, let's lose the puppet.", "c": ["Franklin", "Bud Cort"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "I have an older sister? / So much for not abandoning family.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Fakin It"}, {"t": "Wow! Look at the beak on that bird.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "A deformed neighbor or... A child that Mom and Dad gave up for some reason, and whose identity they're now using to pin their crimes on.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Yeah, but that was retard... misguided.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Oh, there's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "You can just say intercourse.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I tried that. It didn't work either.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Oh, you know what? I've already prepared a list of 'won'ts.' / Oh, you're not going to believe this. My list of 'can'ts.'", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "We're married?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "as real and binding as the rice pudding the disoriented patients had thrown at them", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Oh, please. Pity the fool who gives me a bunch of jibber-jabber about romance.", "c": ["B.A. Baracus"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I mean, if someone was always asking you to embrace the Holy Trinity, what would you think they meant?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Gob thought it meant a three-way.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Sister? Uh... No, I don't. Not really... ringing any bells. Other than Lindsay, of course. Oh! Lindsay!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit. / Oh, we're so bad!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "You call him that, too? It's so nice to be able to talk like this.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Think of it as a giant delete key.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Oh, well, excuse me, Judge Reinhold, but I am trying to protect my family.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Well, it wasn't really your 50th birthday.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "It's costing us a fortune. He's sleeping us dry.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I wish you would say something. Of course, if you did, everything would be ruined 'cause you wouldn't be as pure.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Just the one who married Lindsay. / Oh, it isn't fun to talk like this?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Like Tom here. / I'm 30. / You're kidding me!", "c": ["Michael", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "K-Y Pro, huh? Hey, don't get any moisture on these bab... Hey.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, we were probably all so jacked up on amyl and disco music, we didn't notice.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I was hoping to have a jaw session with you. / Well, why don't we just say--as long as that means a talk.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Michael. / Can you believe it? / You're married to my sister. / Don't you think I know that?!", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "No, no, did you think you were the Michael I was talking about? / Interesting that your mind went there, though.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I'm afraid the Michael I'm talking about is all lady.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Wise words, Boy Michael.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Hey, coulda, shoulda, woulda. Hey, hey. No, no. Ooh, look, number's up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I believe death is wrong in all of its forms. Except lethal injection, but that's just as a deterrent against more death.", "c": ["Representative Van Heusen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "That is unless, of course, it's as a penalty in a three-strike scenario.", "c": ["Representative Van Heusen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "She grew into the nose.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Most prostitutes are.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Well, I was buried in loan debt from business school, so I started whoring myself out.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I do all sorts of scenes.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "The extensive bleeped-out list of sexual won'ts", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I bought you a wedding ring... tone.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Nellie has blown them all away. / Yeah, well, I think it's crazy. / You forgot to say 'away' again.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "No, you'd just, you'd go out and you'd just whore it up, Lindsay, you know? Now she's different.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.63, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "It's like we finish each other's... / Sandwiches? / Sentences. / Why would I say...? / Sandwiches? / That time I was going to say sandwiches.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Well, excuse me, Judge Reinhold, but I'm feeling a little pressure here.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Let's face it. There's no denying that there's a heat between us. / I'd like to deny that.", "c": ["Nellie", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Franklin is Frank? / Mr. F.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I ain't so little when I take my pants off, lady.", "c": ["Franklin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "No, I think that's going to be something big.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I just assumed you wanted a Holy Trinity.", "c": ["Girl Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "She's my prostitute. / But sex wasn't one of them. I just want my brother to envy my money, but he's got that hair.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "She's a prostitute! That's her job!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "I make 300 grand a year. / Marry me.", "c": ["Nellie", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "It's weird on so many levels.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Family Ties"}, {"t": "Unbutton my shirt a bit and give him this look.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Not really sure what you're going for there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night, it's because I almost did.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Well, I had to. It's vodka. It goes bad once it's opened.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "I think that's another one of Mom's little fibs. You know, like 'I'll sacrifice anything for my children.'", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "I got a call out of the blue for a chance to play a very important part in The Prosecution.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "I assume it's a CBS procedural.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Although they didn't send sides, so I thought I'd trot out a Vagina Monologue, or something else I know.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "For set dressing, silly.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Tell me that's not a CBS franchise.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Including me? Hmm? No. You don't have any secrets.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "I was changing the subject. We-- no, yeah, we weren't talking about Maeby.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Actually, he'd already told her about it.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Would it kill her to let some vodka go bad?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Family forgets Maeby's age - she says 16th birthday, Tobias thinks 14th", "c": ["Maeby", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Oh, no, vodka doesn't... You know, it's my birthday in a week and I bet you they don't even know.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh. Our little girl's turning 14.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "That is her suit. They probably don't make it in a woman's though. They only make it in a woman's.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "You see, sometimes shame can be fun. Shame? Secrets. You said 'shame.'", "c": ["Tobias", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Gob plans to go to Iraq for a 'USO tour' doing Christian magic", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "How does he know about her? Didn't he say that Gob should be ashamed of himself? No, but give it a little while, somebody will.", "c": ["Family members"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "It's 'water into wine.' Then I emptied out all your wine bottles and filled them with fake stuff for nothing.", "c": ["Gob", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Great, how am I supposed to have sex with my husband now?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "'A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties.'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Again, this is not an audition for a CBS show.", "c": ["Wayne Jarvis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "He took the bait. He's a classic scrapbooker. Right down to the woman's suit.", "c": ["Prosecutor", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "I've got to find a loophole to get out of this, but Buster took coma, and your mother took rehab.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Well, wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "That's okay. Try again... No, that's a tendon. He'd be screaming right now. It's okay. try again.", "c": ["Medical instructor", "Buster"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "That's okay, you put too much collagen in there. No, no, try it again.", "c": ["Beauty instructor"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Oops, you've got your forearm right on his windpipe there, Dogbone.", "c": ["Dental instructor"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "It really was amazing for their self-esteem. I did it.", "c": ["Narrator", "Student"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Faker! She was wrong on that one. It was love that made Gary take that step.", "c": ["Adelaide", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Of course, he hadn't used his legs in three weeks.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "But we do know that the two people who checked into Shady Pines under the names Lucille Bluth and Lindsay Funke are not your relatives.", "c": ["Wayne Jarvis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "'She's Out Of My Life.' As for your brother Gob in the USO... Don't tell me he's not in Iraq. Oh, no, he's there.", "c": ["Wayne Jarvis", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Cool your Japanese jets.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "And imagine the impact if that had come on right when we turned on the TV.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "I'm not faking it, Michael. I really am this expressionless.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "No, I was just clearing my throat, but I think it actually does mean 'laundry' but like, a child's laundry. We don't really have a word for it.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Buster claims he speaks Arabic but just clears his throat: 'La-ach-ha-tem'", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "'My Favorite Birthday,' 'Foreign Bank Statements,' and of course, 'Shh! Family Secrets.'", "c": ["Scrapbook Instructor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "...Oliver North but ironically not Martha Stewart.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "What the hell are we supposed to do for two days. I could take the top off this grape juice and maybe by morning...", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Oh, Buster, you're such a ( bleep ). That means she likes you. Oh. It's more than like.", "c": ["Adelaide", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "When I miss your lips, I'll put a fig in my mouth and think of you.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "I don't think Steve Holt has to come to this. And yet he did invite Mickey Rourke.", "c": ["George Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "So you ready for Operation Hot Brother?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "The King of Queens. And now I would like to behold one of the late great Jesus' biggest illusions, The Burning Bush.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Burn Bush, burn Bush, burn Bush, burn Bush...", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "I'm sorry it took so long, but the Cheney Expressway was backed up all the way to Halliburton Drive.", "c": ["Iraqi driver"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Saddam look-alike: 'Take my picture! Take my picture!'", "c": ["Saddam Look-alike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Yes, and we wanted to keep the house for just one more season.", "c": ["Saddam look-alike"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Surprise. Yeah, that's what I figured.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "They found out I was 16. And a lot of us just didn't want to drive down to Orange County.", "c": ["Maeby", "Party guest"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Maeby and George Michael drink Gob's fake wine, thinking it's alcohol", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "My God, it makes me want to have an ice-cream cone. Doesn't this make you want to have an ice-cream cone?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Look, it's a Homefill. It's the company that makes the fake stuff we fill the model homes with.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "'Cause Gangee once said to me, your mom might not have ever even been pregnant with you.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "And perhaps it was the fake wine, but that was the night George Michael and Maeby went to second base.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "We call them 'unintentional operations victims,' but yes.", "c": ["CIA Agent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "I think he means to shoot you in the head. But please, at least let him look at the air-conditioning.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "I think he means to shoot you in the head.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Buster: 'Looks like you are a hero, Buster.' 'We both are.' 'Well...'", "c": ["Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "And direct flights. None of this stopping in Phoenix bull ( bleep ).", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Take Condoleezza Rice Lane. It's quicker. Mission accomplished.", "c": ["Iraqi driver", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Exit Strategy"}, {"t": "Today, it looks like I succeeded. - So why is this man crying?", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Because now he'll have to stay with these people for a long, long time.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "It was the monster called lust, to which he'd recently succumbed.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "And although he'd only gotten to second base... he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "And there you are, Maeby, coming out of your mother's third base.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "What, I mean, so we can make out every night? Does that not work for your schedule?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Actually, I've been wrestling with some pretty taboo...", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Risky! There it is, we're doing it, huh?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Family. - I was gonna say breakfast, but...", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "I've heard that a couple times too.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Look at that, Buster. You would have lost a hand anyway.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "I've always pictured him in a lighthouse.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "We can do that?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "It's the only hair he's got. What? - He's an alpaca. - He has alopecia.", "c": ["Lucille", "Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Two million! Two million! That sounds like a lot more than it actually is.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "You've already spent $1,200 on eggs, and that would be it forever.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "We can't have kids. What's the matter... What are you say... It's not even an option really.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Might wanna start worrying about the table.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "You know, being twins, our birthdays are pretty close to one another.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "as she does of getting attacked by a shark. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were going to say seal.", "c": ["Gob", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Girls just grow faster than boys. Dinner's ready. We're having Lindsay chops.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "What? I want her to be prepared in case some bully at school is as clever as I am. No bully ever would be.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "It wasn't. Although they marketed the idea better... the Frozen Banana itself was the brainchild of a Korean immigrant who threatened to sue them.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Where his business never recovered.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "I'm concerned about you. Because I do not want to see... - He'll be fine. - You'll be fine.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Lighthouse wasn't far off.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, somebody's drawing a little one on those checks. No big deal.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "You give a man a fish, he'll eat for a night. - If you teach a man to fish... - He'll wanna use your yacht.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "How would it feel to lose the company to a man who has less hair on his !@%$ than I have on my !@%$#.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "It can't be worse than hearing that just was.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "How long has this been going on? - I don't know... 53 weeks?", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Yeah, Ann is the girl for us.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "I hope that's not a crack about my hair color, lips, forehead, nose and teeth.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "It's alpaca actually. Cruelty-free. Really narrows your choices.", "c": ["Sitwell"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me? This is the happiest I've been since the day I got my new nose.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Uh, wait, three-year-old? You said it was 37 years ago. Oh, yeah, right. Hey, we should do something for your 40th next week.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Sitwell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Be gentle, she's almost 40!", "c": ["Sitwell"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "This is the biggest thing to happen since Uniprod hired that wee-brain to run drama development.", "c": ["Studio Executive"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "I'm not your sister. - What? Hey, Lindsay. - I'm adopted. And I'm three years older.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "I'm just not that into older women.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "No, I mean, you can't spoon me like that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "He also mentioned that we all only had three more weeks on Earth and that fossils were just something the Jews buried in 1924.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Adopting a child we didn't want just to stick it to a competitor? Oh, that would make us look great.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "We loved her just as much as any of you normal kids. More than Gob.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "So, it's embezzlement, bribery and conspiracy? And a whole lot of love. All right, and perjury.", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no. It's a chain of popular nightclubs. Although I haven't been to this particular location. - It's on the Long Beach Harbor. - That's the ship.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Hot Sailors. Better yet, Hot Se... - I like Hot Sailors. - Mm, me too.", "c": ["Tobias", "Lucille", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "What? I thought that's what all you guys lived for. While Gob debased everything they believed in.", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Yes, she is my sister, no matter what any piece of paper says.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "It wasn't exactly a turn-on.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Never seen a CEO cry like that before, except at his sentencing.", "c": ["Sitwell"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "I've made a huge mistake.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Ah, this is why they dropped those other charges. You gave me up, George. - George? I'm not George.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Oscar, when are you going to learn there's no such thing as free shrimp?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Annyong? - Annyong. But my real name is... - Hello. - Hello? - Annyong.", "c": ["Multiple", "Hello/Annyong"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Because my grandfather vowed one day he would get even for banana stand you stole from him.", "c": ["Annyong"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "I don't even wanna tell you what these guys thought that meant.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "This is degrading. I thought we were gonna strip.", "c": ["Hot Cop"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Oh, come on!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "No, I, uh... I don't see it as a series. Maybe a movie.", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Development Arrested"}, {"t": "Oh, why can't they just call it May 5? This is what I was talking about. It's all part of the Mexican war on May 5.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "You see, the Hispanics of Newport liked Cinco a lot, but high up on Coast Highway, Lucille Bluth did not.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "And then Lucille had a horrible thought, a thought that was thoughtless and better to not. 'What if,' she thought with a sneering grin... Next year what if the party didn't even begin?", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Fill the bay with chorizo. Chorizo dump!", "c": ["Lucille", "George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Festival of Lights-- another phrase they wanted back", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "She certainly had demonstrated that with many of the men in the family... Oh, stop it, you're making me dizzy. ...even having fallen for a few, although some of that was the vertigo she suffered from. But not all of it.", "c": ["Narrator", "Lucille 2"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Dad? No, no. But seriously, she had gotten intimate with Buster and Gob.", "c": ["Narrator", "Michael (implied)"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "What are you doing? I'm gonna have sex with you for money.", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Thanks for coming so late, Maria, I know that you won't be cleaning up tomorrow, and we did make quite a mess of that bedroom.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Well, I wasn't hoping to help. I was hoping to rub it in because of all the unpleasantness.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Bad example: if you were ashamed of being in love with a man, suddenly discovered these new feelings, then I might say something like, 'Homo much?' It's not that. I said 'Bad example.'", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "It's almost as if he found a way to simulate amnesia. Hey, I'm down to my last Forget-Me-Now.", "c": ["Narrator", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Gob had always taken a pill he called a Forget-Me-Now for that... but was commonly known as a roofie.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "\u266a It's so easy to forget... \u266a \u266a It's so easy to forget. \u266a Stupid, forgetful Michael.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "even though the Phoenix he went to was online, he still enjoyed the full college experience by living in a dorm room while doing so", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Unfortunately it was his son's dorm room at the University of California at Irvine.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "We know everything there is to know about each other. We're like twins. I don't see us as twins.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Well, it's hard to be self-effacing when you're a perfect specimen of rugged manlessness.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "This guy's name is actually George Michael. No, it's two different guys. They're twins, ugly. We should sign them up for Twin Club.", "c": ["Housing Office Workers"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "It was in this men's room in-- get this-- Beverly Hills that singer George Michael was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover cop.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Right. I got it, let's call you Boy George.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Singer Boy George in the news again today, this time for sexual assault in a men's public bathroom.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "I mean, at least it was consensual.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Listen, look it. Are you listening? You want your space. I get it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "You know what? This is your school rally shirt. You know, same size--medium. Do you know where mine is? We wear the same size like twi... We're just like twin-- couple of identical...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "It's privacy software. That's why the word came up.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "It's, like, stuck on 2003. Help me just break into... You just hit 'today.' The 'today' button. Sorry. It's stuck in 2003, so I don't have 'today.'", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Oh, okay. Kind of like the antisocial network, right? That's very good. You can use it.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Next to SkyMall, it's, like, the number two most read in all of coach. Well, three with the safety card", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Okay, give me your meal plan card. I'm gonna run in there, I'm gonna grab a tray, you run around back, make sure you get there in time, before my hand stamp dries.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "How'd you like to be bumped up to Lucille 1?", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "headed out on whatever the opposite of a maiden voyage is", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Well, I missed the hearing. Oh, it just snuck up on me, and then they called, and they wanted me there at eight bells. You know, I thought that was their 5:00 p.m.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "It seems Michael had been interested in maritime law since playing a lawyer in an original school play titled The Trial of Captain Hook. \u266a You're a crook, Captain Hook... \u266a", "c": ["Narrator", "Young Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Watch out for the seal! Loose seal! Loose seal! I'm watching! You're out of the play!", "c": ["Young Michael", "Director"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "So the family got a little stimmy. Don't make a federal case out of it. That is exactly what they're going to make out of it.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "It's like tipping an African-American. You wouldn't tip an African-American, would you? Of course I would. On a train? What... Did you know about all this? No, I've been tipping them.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Even a waiter? Okay, the treadmill's up and running.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "And although his mother's day in court was something both he and his college-bound son would miss, Michael truly felt that nothing could go wrong. And then something did.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "This is why you don't confide in a competitor.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "I got you! Just as he could count on her putting him off and falling down. You did. Bye-bye. Oop. That's a hot mess.", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Love each other. Pete! Pete! Wait here. Hang on, Pete! Pete died.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Don't go through my stuff, Granddad. Hey, who do you think paid for your stuff?", "c": ["Trang's Grandfather", "Trang"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Boy, shoot me if I'm 86, living in my grandson's dorm, huh?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "You're in Attitude? That magazine is gay. Oh, he wasn't being flip with the word 'gay.' Attitude is a British magazine for homosexuals.", "c": ["P-Hound", "Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "You ever even been on a plane, you piece of?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "There's nobody in here. Buddy, bad news. P-Hound is yanking our chain again. Uncle Michael. Oh, my God. Hi. Hello there. There is a kind of girl here.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Won't that make it a tie? Briefly. Hmm? I mean, if the two of us vote against P-Hound, and you and P-Hound vote against you, then it's two against two, right?", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Did you mean to write 'George Michael'? Obviously, the verdict was in.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "I was mistakenly voted out of a four-person housing situation, uh, in a pack-first, no-talking-after scenario. Does that clear it up for you?", "c": ["Michael", "Airline Employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "But that leaves three other votes. Yeah.", "c": ["Airline Employee", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Oh, okay, yeah, sure, we just, uh, let people walk onto the plane all the time. Do you want a box cutter also?", "c": ["Airline Employee"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "And Michael kicked himself for a pose he thought would express humility to Sanjiv, the Altitude photographer.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Hope you know a good place to live because I'm... Ooh, dear Lord. 'Cause I'm looking to make a new start. Don't touch that handle. Whoa, Mother of God! Dear Lord! Whoo!", "c": ["Michael", "Cab Driver"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "Buster. No... no, Gob. Oh! It was Lindsay.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Flight Of The Phoenix"}, {"t": "So hot. Anybody hallucinating yet? Did anybody else hear that iguana speak? Let's kill it.", "c": ["George Sr.", "CEOs"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I'm not an iguana. It's part of the process. They're ready. They're ready!", "c": ["George Sr.", "CEOs"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I got you. You know, guys, even I, Father B., when I first started these sweat lodges, I would come out of there thinking, oh, God, I wish I had a... a lemonade. Just like a child, you know. Cold water, some lemons, a little sugar, you know. That's what I gave my power to!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "She is silent, but in that silence, there is strength. She needs no words to communicate to you. Boundless power to you, too, Heartfire.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Heartfire"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Hell, I was so weak, you guys, I was willing to spend $10,000 just a little... sip of this lemonade. Fifteen! But now I can spend two hours in brutal heat with a cup of this cold, refreshing lemonade and just pour it in the dirt.", "c": ["George Sr.", "CEOs"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Ah, come on, Daniels! You ran Bear Stearns, for God's sake! I was like this. Just like this.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Daniels"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "How was the party? Mom stole it. The whole boat? She had.", "c": ["George Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I'm wondering if we shouldn't have a plan in regards to bookkeeping, in case we accidentally make a mistake or get caught. What if we were to become a... an-an... an NLC? A 'No Liability Corporation.' We just have no liability, just nothing...", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Take to the sea! Three miles out, and it's a free-for-all! No rules, pirate radio laws. Really! Is this true, Mr. Zuckerkorn? Sure.", "c": ["Barry", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "you can't try a husband and wife for the same crime, right? Sure. We have the best attorneys.", "c": ["Character", "Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "She's fine. You're lucky we didn't have an autumn, otherwise she'd be colder. Look what they've done, George! Look what the homosexuals have done to me. A joyride. That's what they decide to do with the freedom this country has given them.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "First of all, won't be cheap. It's gonna cost you a fortune in legal fees. What's the good news? Oh, yeah. Well, from your perspective, I can see where you think it's all bad news. It's all bad news.", "c": ["Barry", "George Sr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Also, it turns out that stealing the Queen Mary comes under maritime law, which, I just found out, is an actual thing. It's a real thing.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I also lost a perfectly good pair of human chest hair nipple tufts when we hit the water.", "c": ["Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "That's kelp; why would I put it onto my chest or head or anywhere else? I was gonna show those babies off at the Jacuzzi after-party.", "c": ["Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Well, maybe not Halliburton, but definitely Halliburton Teen.", "c": ["Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Halliburton Teen was a leading youth and lifestyle retailer, despite the fact that it was a rebranding of the tarnished Halliburton Penitentiary and Rendition Systems.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Oh... aah...! Ow, my hair! My beautiful hair! My hair! My beautiful hair!", "c": ["Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "This isn't what it looks like! Oh, really? Because it looks like a monument to George W. Bush. Well, you got me.", "c": ["Stan Sitwell", "George Sr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "It'll never stand. It's too thin. It'll never stand. You see, the W's and the word 'bush.' I mean, what else could it be?", "c": ["George Sr.", "Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "It's a wall, George; you're looking at it sideways. The W stands for 'wall.' The bushes... Stand for the bushes.", "c": ["Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Ah--this explains the immigration booth 10,000 feet in the air.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "You said that right after Lupe got the bleach stain on your teal blazer.", "c": ["Stan Sitwell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Bluth for two--I mean, one.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I thought I already seated you.", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "George! Actually, we came in to use the bathroom, but they sat me. And they have mahimahi today. Will you join us? Will you have a mahimahi on me? On you.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "This is Heartfire; she's an aura specialist. She did Matthew Modine. I will.", "c": ["Oscar", "Heartfire"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "The bigger crime would've been the patient didn't wake up and testify against me. But nobody cares about the part of the oath he kept.", "c": ["Dr. Norman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "If he as bad as the state of California say he is, then why did I fall in love with him, huh? Yo, [bleep] the state of California! [bleep] 'em! Bunch of California [bleep], yeah.", "c": ["China Garden"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Oh, great. Now you're gonna make me cry. Oh, lizard! Look! Look, a lizard! Cute!", "c": ["China Garden"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "We're getting a divorce. I want to know about the stimulus package. We haven't had sex since Christmas, Michael!", "c": ["Lucille", "George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "You had sex seven weeks ago? They were remodeling my room, and I pulled my cot in there, just like camp. We yelled at you to leave. Yeah, but then you whispered, 'Don't pull out!'", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "You had sex seven weeks ago?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I'm John Beard, and I'm a Gloomy Gus. I don't have a mustache.", "c": ["John Beard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "having found a way around both the building's strict no-smoking policy... and the fact that her ankle monitor prevented her from approaching the balcony.", "c": ["Narrator", "Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I have to stop. I have to stop. So... But, finally, I just ordered... pastrami shortcake, like I said, but I didn't order... I didn't order sprinkles this-- Oh, Mother, please. Please.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I'd give $10,000 for a glass of lemonade right now. Sweat... and squeeze.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Dr. Norman, we have a hot mess. George Sr. had been passed out for two days after having a vision...", "c": ["Character", "Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Does it come with lemonade? It comes with all the lemonade you can drink. 'Squeeze' had two meanings.", "c": ["CEO", "George Sr.", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Does it come with lemonade? It comes with all the lemonade you can drink.", "c": ["CEO", "George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey. He had his twin brother endure it. Did you bring me some lemonade? No, sir. It is crazy out there. For the first time we are out.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Oscar", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "My wife doesn't understand me. My angel. I haven't had an orgasm outside of my bathtub in 30 years. How's that? Although, at times, I do wish it were darker.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I don't know what's going on. For some reason I'm just getting Richard Burton today. Oh, my God, what's that? That's the commode.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "You trespass on sacred ground. The spirits command me to warn you. You must leave this land or the land will change you. Don't worry, he's probably from a local reservation. I'll, I'll take care of this.", "c": ["Ostrich Spirit", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "You trespass on sacred ground. The spirits command me to warn you. You must leave this land or the land will change you.", "c": ["Ostrich Guy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "How about you book me two nights for Ray Romano at your casino?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "How about you book me two nights for Ray Romano at your casino? The strong will become the weak, the weak will become the strong. And get us close to the front but not close enough that Ray talks to us.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Ostrich Spirit"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I don't know what you saw, but I got an ostrich and no boner.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I don't know what you saw, but I got an ostrich and no boner.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Come on, guys, I looked the other way on the bottled water because you look thirsty, but you got to play along here. Heartfire? Where's the lemonade? Shh!", "c": ["George Sr.", "CEOs", "Heartfire"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "No, have you seen China Garden? No. Did you kill that armadillo? No, no, he's just under.", "c": ["Dr. Norman", "George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Did you kill that armadillo? No, no, he's just under. If only we could use some of his medicine for our own pain. Oh, wait, I've got a full syringe in the car.", "c": ["Character", "Dr. Norman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Wait, wait, that rally is tonight? Mm-hmm. But I'm supposed to meet my wife tonight, which I am dreading, by the way.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "You're so ugly from behind.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "Too bad you can't use a double. Oh, also I used a look-alike named Stewart to take the California bar for me. But you knew that, right?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I just can't go on pretending to be you, sitting silently... Shh. ...in a, in a 100-degree mud hut for an hour and a half.", "c": ["Oscar", "George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I just pooped in a hole and covered it up. I hope I did the right thing. There's a commode. It's, it's directly uphill from the maca root.", "c": ["Oscar", "Barry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I love it when you call my name. George! Don't call me that. Call me Father B.", "c": ["Lucille", "Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Borderline Personalities"}, {"t": "I don't remember Vuitton having two E's.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Best bag on the mountain... $120. You just bought the best bag on the mountain.", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Lindsay was on a spiritual journey to let go of all possessions and to find something cute to keep her stuff in.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "I'm just not that into older women.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "If I'd told them we were taking a bunch of gays out there to get married, they'd have thrown me a parade.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Yeah, I don't think your record on that issue is going to back that up, Mom.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "At least I was able to turn my Queen around.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "None taken. This is Tobias F\u00fcnke, who should have taken more.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Kenny, Chet, Curtis, Mike, Bix, and Gator are over here.", "c": ["Court Official"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Sorry. I was thinking of Mike, the hot seaman.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Is that a gall see? No, it's just a fallacy", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Yeah, we should end it. / Let's give it another shot. To the head. Kill it. Yes.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Stay in your lane, anus tart!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "a self-cleaning litter box in case she ever got a cat, and an inflatable hat box in case she ever got a hat", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "No. It wasn't a cow. It was just a tourist.", "c": ["Bus Driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Oh, no, anything under a small is considered a David Spade.", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "There's a pool? It's hard to tell because there are so many people in it, but yes, it is a pool.", "c": ["Hotel Clerk"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "You are so full of (BLEEP). Yeah, yeah. Although, in my culture, 'full of (BLEEP)' is kind of like a dig.", "c": ["Shaman", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "This bag is as fake as you are. Well, how do I learn? Just look at the spelling.", "c": ["Shaman", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "She had. It was just too crowded to see the water.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "I just talked to the shaman, just right back at... Coincidence?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Would you take a grimace?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Stop with the prayer hands. It just looks like you're out of ideas. Seriously, shoot me if you ever catch me doing that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "No, Michael. I'm not a whore. I don't get any of the money until after I do the disgusting thing.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "I got the part.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "NINJA, please!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "That way, we have it... That way, you'll have it... That way, you have it.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias", "Realtor"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Now, that's John Beard, he's on television. No one's gonna look down on you just 'cause you have less than John Beard.", "c": ["Realtor"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "God, they grow up so slowly.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "'Suckled at her champagne glass breasts' isn't a joke?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "And I want to smell the suds.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "good luck getting that (BLEEP) raccoon smell out of the gatehouse, because I never could.", "c": ["John Beard"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sorry, but I'm such a star (BLEEP) that I didn't pay attention to anything he said!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "And that was with me picturing fudge.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Well, that's an easy one. You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown. / No, Mame.", "c": ["Tobias", "Clinic Worker"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "'Garden Grove Methodone Clinic.'", "c": ["Sign"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "He joined al-Qaeda. / And I only signed up 'cause he was giving away a free beard brush.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "A bunch of deranged bees chased him out of a tree and he fell to his death.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "That's why I swiped that methadone tray.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Oh, no. He just took some methadone. He thought he was driving with a cocktail tray.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Those were wetlands? That explains our Thanksgiving miracle.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "It's a miracle!", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Coincidence? / That's not a coincidence. / Yes, it is", "c": ["Lindsay", "Marky", "Narrator"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Live truthfully. Skate through life.", "c": ["Visual"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "So this guy all the way to that guy back there, that's just a piece of wood I stick in there.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "No. I have no idea what you look like. I have this condition called face blindness.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Also wanted to make sure you weren't a dude. I can tell with voices usually, but some guys, they'll fool you if that's what they want to do.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "I thought you were taking a dump. I must have scared the (BLEEP) off that lady in the bathroom when I threw the door open and told her I loved her.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "I have the worst (BLEEP) shaman.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Great. Even cuter.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Could I get some more of that acting juice?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Indian Takers"}, {"t": "Michael answering phone with 'Michael Bluth, residential complexes' while driving a Google Street View car", "c": ["Michael Bluth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Take my picture!", "c": ["Unknown person"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "I think we got an ostrich. Oh, God, grab him.", "c": ["Gare-Bear", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Michael driving his old stair car saying 'I'm used to a car with some stares'", "c": ["Michael Bluth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Meta joke about not being able to show the Google car because it's their property, then blurring it anyway", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Barry being unclear about Ron Howard meeting: 'Apparently, he directed a movie called Cocoon'", "c": ["Barry Zuckerkorn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Barry offering to tell Ron Howard to go (BLEEP) himself while in front of a jury", "c": ["Barry Zuckerkorn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Barry's courtroom demonstration: 'I can't reach the Chachi'", "c": ["Barry Zuckerkorn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Bob Loblaw Law Bomb sequence", "c": ["Barry Zuckerkorn", "Bob Loblaw"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Kitty's 'D girl' misunderstanding with Michael", "c": ["Michael Bluth", "Kitty Sanchez"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "You're probably going to call me a pig for this, too, but are you sure that you meant to say 'knew'?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "The narrator's clarification that Kitty only 'blew smoke' at Imagine", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Maeby asking 17-year-old Kitty to buy her booze", "c": ["Maeby Funke", "Kitty Sanchez"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Maeby asking Kitty to buy her booze and drugs at age 17", "c": ["Maeby", "Kitty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Kitty offering to get 'smack or hash or Special K'", "c": ["Kitty Sanchez"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "She didn't even get releases from her family. ...that Maeby's was one of the bodies that was buried.", "c": ["Kitty", "Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Jerry Bruckheimer building height rivalry explanation", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Multiple Ron Howard lookalikes casting for Andy Griffith Show", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Hey, nice try, mister. We're never going to beat the original.", "c": ["Child actor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Hang on a second. You guys finally making that movie? I've been reading about it for, like, 40 years.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Moon landing conspiracy reveal in the LEM", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Ron Howard's movie inspirations from random photos", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "But I never had a face to put on it. Until now. You.", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "I can see why you're telling me in the LEM, huh?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Ron Howard father/daughter vs mistress confusion", "c": ["Michael Bluth", "Ron Howard"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Ed Harris not being right for Barney Fife", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Health plan benefits revelation: 'Health plan is not another one, by the way. No health plan.'", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Oh! If you don't sign, you will be fine. Hey.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "George Sr.'s lack of signature leading to money order gifts", "c": ["George Bluth Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Can you feel your hands? I can't feel my pinky or this one.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "It's not too embarrassing walking around with a bunch of photographs of yourself. Well, looks like it's part of your job. You're an actress? No, I'm a narcissist.", "c": ["Michael", "Rebel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Meet-cute clich\u00e9 conversation during actual meet-cute", "c": ["Michael Bluth", "Rebel Alley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? I don't even know what that is. I should've... Sorry. That's funny. I should have said, 'Where?' Of course, I know what it is.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Hey, I met a girl today and her name is (BLEEP)", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Michael realizing he forgot to get the girl's name", "c": ["Michael Bluth"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "We have to keep this quiet! Dad? No, no. Don't say I'm down here. Don't acknowledge me.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "George Sr. in wrong Lucille's apartment looking for suits", "c": ["Michael Bluth", "George Bluth Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I was in the desert, and I've lost my sense of direction.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Office ceiling height competition between producers", "c": ["Kitty Sanchez"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Kitty's 'not the hot tub at Bruckheimer Tower' comment", "c": ["Kitty Sanchez"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Carl Weathers directing crime reenactment show about himself", "c": ["Carl Weathers"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "I guarantee you, give me an old Royal and a glass of Scotch, and I'll give you 250 pages where the lightning hits the tree. That's not what we do here. I mean, where the drop hits the pond. That's it. Then the yellow robot gets mad at the pink robot... Correction. The purple robot.", "c": ["Stefan Gentles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Warden Gentles' confused Hollywood pitch meetings", "c": ["Warden Stefan Gentles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Might I suggest bringing in someone younger to play the father? A Philip Seymour Hoffman type? A Philip Seymour Hoffman type. And so, naturally, I thought of you.", "c": ["Stefan Gentles", "Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Conan O'Brien's note to Andy Richter about not responding", "c": ["Conan O'Brien", "Andy Richter"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Ron Howard thinking Carl Weathers is Cuba Gooding Jr. in makeup", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Orange County Imagine mistaken for psychiatric facility", "c": ["Various"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "George Sr.'s Mexican porn/language learning gift", "c": ["George Bluth Sr.", "Michael Bluth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Do you know a guy named Herbert Love? I know a lot of people, sure, 'cause I'm a big producer now. He ate a mouse.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Ron Howard's father-son relationship clarification", "c": ["Ron Howard", "Michael Bluth"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Rebel being revealed as a bagpipe player", "c": ["Rebel Alley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "The narrator's commentary on bagpipe music: 'hard to tell if it was good music played horribly or horrible music played well'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Michael's son age lie progression", "c": ["Michael Bluth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Michael realizing he's dating Ron Howard's daughter", "c": ["Michael Bluth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Narrator's correction and follow-up: 'Actually she's his daughter. But that's kind of worse, don't you think?'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Rocky Richter's red hair wig joke to Conan", "c": ["Rocky Richter"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The B. Team"}, {"t": "Looks like we got ourselves an Anus Tart.", "c": ["Law enforcement officers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Yes, Tobias was finally about to get a starring role on a hit TV show.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "It's Tobias' Arrested Development.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Everyone thinks I'm gay?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "\u266a It's just a fallacy! \u266a", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "So he just took Eat and Pray.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "And these romantic gestures are possibly why people think I'm a homosexual.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "A new start.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Stay in your lane, anus tart!", "c": ["Local drivers"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "India clean.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "I look like one of those hot guys from Spartacus.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "How could they not have Failure to Launch?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "This man here broke his skull in two places. Once outside the airport and once in the elevator when his sheet got caught and he was pulled off his gurney. Literally.", "c": ["Doctor", "Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Now I've broken my skull in a third place! On this elephant guy statue!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "You should be a comedy actor.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "It's just, I've got a bit of a stick up my bunghole about what I've now found is a running joke about me.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "For 2,000 rupees, we'd both go down on Matthew McConaughey.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "At the time of this family meeting, 2,000 rupees was $36.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "I'm a real estate agent. I'm a predator. I sell giant houses to very poor people who can't afford them with predatory loans.", "c": ["Real estate agent"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Lindsay! Lindsay, get the scooper! Throw oranges at it. Hot orange! Hot orange! It's throwing its voice! Lindsay!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Well, then I shall redouble my efforts so that he died in vain.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Meaning he will have led a pointless life, is what I mean.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Get it out there. 'This is up, sir.'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "I almost never get recognized as the Invisible Girl.", "c": ["DeBrie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "This is the gayest Starbucks ever!", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "She did six of these movies, and after lunch, did three more.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "You remind me of Billy Crystal... Billy Crystal Meth, a funny drug dealer.", "c": ["DeBrie", "Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Did you see my StraightBait movie of the same name?", "c": ["DeBrie"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Her heart stopped! She's dying! Please, someone! She had too much butter!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Someone say 'butter' out here? Oh, my God, that's a butter face.", "c": ["Hospital staff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Now, what this means in non-medical terms is that you have landed a real party girl.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Other people are incapable of ever being nude. Everybody has something.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "I almost a guy for a hamburger.", "c": ["DeBrie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "I'm Johnny Storm, the Human Flamer.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "And this is Sue Storm, my sister and fellow fighter-in-law.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Well, apparently in this instance, paper beats rock.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Actually, technically, I'm Rock Monster, and this is Ability to Be Invisible Person.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "No, I was gonna have sex with him. For money.", "c": ["DeBrie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Oh, Tobias got a new girlfriend.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Ummmmmm... No.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "You're worse than Marky. He couldn't see me, but you can't hear me.", "c": ["DeBrie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "Daddy needs to get his rocks off.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.98, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "I want to say 19? But I like to think of her as 15.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.58, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "I just broke my skull in a fourth place. The patio!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "A New Start"}, {"t": "You got a point behind all those teeth of yours?", "c": ["Herbert Love", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Action Jackson? What do I look like, Carl Weathers to you?", "c": ["Herbert Love", "George Sr."], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "getting Barack Hussein Obama Wama Comma Mama on a Llama out of office", "c": ["Herbert Love"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "It's a crazy-town name.", "c": ["Herbert Love"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "George Sr. had neither.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "You want to reach your hand into my pocket to pay for your birth control? I get to put my hand in your pocket to put it in.", "c": ["Herbert Love"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "I had to duck a woman's pump and a mini pizza.", "c": ["Herbert Love"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "And, although too explicit for an American audience, the lovemaking was intense and beautiful", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Turn him around three times and put him in Fullerton, he won't know the difference.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Buster? No, no. I won't... I won't hear of it. It could kill him. I meant Gob.", "c": ["Oscar", "Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Didn't someone die in one of these things? / Oh, no, not in one of ours. / Although his pitch had lost some of its luster.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Client", "Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "And, you know, I mean, it's better than dying in the snow. I mean, not... not-not that you'll die, but if you had to choose, uh, I mean... Brr, you know?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Why, 'cause I'm black?", "c": ["Herbert Love"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Well, I should have known you'd be here, supporting this right-wing, dangerous crackpot.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Lindsay, I forgot-- you dyed your hair.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Yeah, the first four months, I was in denial. How are you?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "a $50,000 check your wife sent to my daughter for plastic surgery. What kind of a woman does that?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "You don't think Maisie's cuter?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "And that's when George Sr. finally tipped a black man.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I-I'm a man. I was just wearing, uh, this blouse because I was, uh, driving and I hate my arms.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Whoever told you that's probably chomping on the maca, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Border Agent"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "You really hurt my feelings, guys.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "You can't expect me to read every page of that deal. Besides, that one was particularly difficult because it was all in Spanish.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Se habla espa\u00f1ol. I do not speak Spanish.", "c": ["Business Card/George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Well, this is America. If they don't want us to burn signs, they shouldn't write them in Spanish.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Only Heartfire knew the truth. But the singing was so loud, no one could hear her thoughts.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "It's a 40 for the flip and a 40 for the flop, and since it's going to cause a flap, I'd say another 40. So it's a flat 40-40-40 flip-flop and a flap fee.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Hey, you've changed, you big (bleep). You're acting like a little girl lately. And not in the good way.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "I'm not a limo driver. I'm a gentleman honey farmer. The only thing I've got back there are my bees. Beans? No, bees! Bees? Bees! Bees! Oh, bees!", "c": ["Gob", "George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Colony collapse disorder. The guy sold me just really sick bees.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Don't worry. Dad, they're going to hive. They always hive.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Bees! Wonderful bees!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Hello, brother. Thought I'd find you in a blouse and a beekeeper hat.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Oh, God, it was Buster's map.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Buster had indeed made the map, as a cartography student, because the class where you get to see naked people, and draw them, was full.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "I told one lie, but I-I was going to share the money with you. Two lies. And why do I think that you charge more than five dollars for lemonade? Three small lies.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "There's two Dr. Normans!", "c": ["Client"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Yesterday, you were amazing. Georgie, I can't stop thinking about it. You haven't been like that in years.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "You mean, slow-witted?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "That's my penis.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Well, you don't have to tell me. Nothing?", "c": ["Dr. Norman"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "I mean, there's some violating federal law stuff that'd put me in prison for the rest of my life, but I've made love with treason charges over me before.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "But I'm the one who can get hard, so let's focus on you.", "c": ["Dr. Norman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Have you come across any ancient games, let's say, glowing games, uh, either board based or carnival based, that you may have played against the wishes of your best friend?", "c": ["Dr. Norman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "The strong will become the weak. The weak will become the strong.", "c": ["Ancient Warrior Harbinger"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "I'd like you to get on an MRI machine and try to ride it to climax.", "c": ["Dr. Norman"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "And this whole car full of black kids ran over it, for no reason. And they saw it! They saw it!", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "You can't swim in that bay for a month after without getting nacho cheese sauce in your hair.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "\u266a Happy birthday, Mr. President... \u266a I-I don't want to be Mr. President.", "c": ["Lucille", "George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "I just want my son to have a job where his incompetence won't be out of place.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Actually that was a memorial to the death of Pete the mailman. I knew that.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "If I were Muslim, would you say 'Muslim magic act'?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "No, but it is hard to imagine any Muslim handcuffing himself to a glittery cross and living to tell about it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, the Christians aren't so (bleep)-hot about it either.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Like Bryce Dallas and Paige Carlyle, was named after where she was conceived.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I'm dating Ron Howard's girlfriend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "She was Ron's illegitimate daughter, a fact unbeknownst to many.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "You're thinking of Moe Howard, the angry stooge who's been dead for a quarter century.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Daddy, my tummy's turning. I got to get out, I got to get out.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "No, thanks. I've already crushed one with my car.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "'Cause I'm fat. It's because I am fat. You think I'm a fat person. These fat arms.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "your testosterone numbers are off the charts. Below the charts, under the charts. I don't know how to say that.", "c": ["Dr. Norman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "I think I dumped it with a pot pipe and a bottle of cheetah sedative.", "c": ["Dr. Norman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "You, sir, are a very funny lady.", "c": ["Dr. Norman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "This feels right.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "You're right, I mean, it's not like we're even technically related.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "I don't allow men in my apartment without my husband present.", "c": ["George Sr. (in disguise)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Double Crossers"}, {"t": "Trout, a Southern boy who had a Northern man's taste in women", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Chris K, who was a lot like Trout, but without the accent", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Oakwood, a studio teacher, who might have had his own entourage, if his part hadn't been cut from the pilot of Modern Family", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Her?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Way to plant, Ann", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "as surely as there's a mouse behind your ear", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Okay, you are like the only person I know who doesn't just love magic. A poll would confirm she was far from alone", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "For the fifth year in a row, your least favorite entertainers are magicians. A close second, talk show side-kicks", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Of course, Ann's concept of fourth base was very different than Gob's", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Who am I gonna hit on, stupid? My sister? Lindsay? Don't be stupid. She's my sister, that's gross", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "It seemed the only 'her' Gob would be getting off that day was the Queen Mary", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "These were mice... For 'rabbit to mice.' No, that can't be done.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "No, these were part of a something I called 'Mice-a-laneous.' 'Mouse in purse.' 'Mouse in drink.' 'Here's a mouse, now it's gone.'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "How'd he do that?", "c": ["Unnamed character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Look at you, full of 'yes.' Look at how much 'yes' is in you! I knew it! I knew I'd get that 'yes' from you", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "My life is a fallacy. \u266a It's just a fallacy \u266a", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Well, I could wait till after", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Should the guy in the... In the $32... In the $32 pink... Bath... Should the girl in the $6,000 tuxedo...", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Well, marry me", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Well, marry me.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Of course, Gob meant it in the showbizzy way his niece had always used when she was accused of being too young. 'What are you, like 15?' 'Marry me. Marry me. Marry me.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I've made a huge mistake", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, mouth. I didn't see you sitting there. We rode up in the elevator together. I'm blanking", "c": ["Gob", "Ann"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Yeah, me and Blank are getting the old Christian magic act back together", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Oh! That's why she's there. I thought you were hair", "c": ["Father Marsala"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "That once your eyes have beholden it, you will put no God before me, because of its spectacularity.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Ann. And God. Love for and God", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Jesus Christ! Sorry. Wasn't on there too good", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Yeah, what's the illusion? That you actually love the bride? Hey, that's good patter", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I have a bee company. You stole my idea? Uh-huh, I did not steal your... We sell... It would take hours", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "My bees are dropping like flies, and I need them to fly like bees", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, I'm working out like crazy, my diet has become insane, and this Jesus character... I mean, he was shredded.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Lets herself go. Her stomach's out to here", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Well, hopefully I haven't", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Thanks for coming. How could I not? I'm playing Roman Centurion Number Two.", "c": ["Gob", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I didn't know there was a groom part", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Coming up next, Father Marsala's searing docudrama, Father Marsala's John the Baptist. Then the antiabortion drama, Embryo Dan: It Would Have Been a Wonderful Life. And later, break out the bagels. It's time for Father M's lighthearted comedy, A Jew Came to Dinner", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I hate to be the guy who quotes his own reviews, but His Word magazine called my Jew 'pitiful'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "If what Jesus did was a trick. I say it wasn't. It was an illusion", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Ooh! They did not like that one", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I am the Amazing Jesus!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Pastor Veal, let me remind you that you are in a church in front of your daughter, your congregation, God. You cannot tell a lie. Right, nothing out of the ordinary? No, I didn't see anything. Yes", "c": ["Gob", "Pastor Veal"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "No, I said don't underline the 'you' in that", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I plan on beating his record by two full weeks!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "He's not coming back", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I guess if he comes back from the dead, we could just get a stepladder", "c": ["Betty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "No, he shan't, for he ith not here. If I have not yet returned, I am in the Rapture", "c": ["Ann", "Gob's note"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Jesus, there's a man in there. Pack, stack, and all that", "c": ["Storage auction participants"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Now we have our nest, Egg... Ann. Now we have our nest, Ann", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "let the son of Gob enfold me", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Maybe I'm being tested like that guy 'Jawb' from the Bible. Job. Yes? Job. Yes, sir. Job. Yeah", "c": ["Gob", "Steve"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I have a brother? Oh, man. Yes, Steve. Yeah. What's his name? Dave. Oh! Dave Holt. Yeah, Dave Holt. Yes. Yes, Gob had been speaking to his son for an hour and a half", "c": ["Steve", "Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "You have another son? I have a brother? Oh, man. Yes, Steve. Yeah. What's his name? Dave.", "c": ["Steve", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Wait, your mom's name is Eve? Yeah. God, I a chick named Eve once. Biggest mistake of my life", "c": ["Gob", "Steve"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "No, this is the greatest day of my life", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Cherry. I have lupus. Could have warned a guy", "c": ["Woman", "Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "A trick is something a whore does for... Do a trick and I'll pay for your bar tab. Who wants a trick?", "c": ["Gob", "Mark Cherry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "He's not coming back", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I won't forget this. Hey, remember me? And soon Gob found himself experiencing what, on the street, is referred to as a roofie circle", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "With stage-four syphilis", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Go away, Getaway, stay away, Getaway", "c": ["Mark Cherry singing"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Be like, 'I'm just driving the queen of England,' but we're still... We're taking our clothes off", "c": ["Mark Cherry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "Fun night. A fun night. Fun night", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I'm here, I'm queer. And now I'm in a speaker. No one can stop us", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I have no one in my life who cares for me", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "'T.' Tony Wonder", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Colony Collapse"}, {"t": "I'd give $20,000 for a lemonade right now. For the most part.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Marky! Mommy needs mescaline!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "It's not DeBrie, Ma Bark. It's Lindsay. I just cut off my hair.", "c": ["Marky", "Ma Bark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I know who you are. Now start shoveling! God, you're lazier than Lindsay.", "c": ["Ma Bark"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "You really are color-blind. Face-blind.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Marky"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "The strong will become the weak. But I think I overdid it first on the maca, because I ended up seeing two of him.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "That lizard bastard bit me! God! Who keeps numbing these desert animals?", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Put some rubbing mescaline on it!", "c": ["Ma Bark"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "It's Lindsay's Arrested Development.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Come on, Cindy. / What do you think? / Ugh. Smells weird in here. What is that? / I think it's just... not urine.", "c": ["Marky", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Cindy? You okay? Look, Lindsay, Cindy already marked the master.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "One year later, however, the only thing they'd actually changed was getting the 'not urine' smell out of the penthouse.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "You're looking at Lindsay. Still Lindsay.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "How was beg? / Beg was good. I found sometres lechescake.", "c": ["Marky", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I'll, uh, change out of these filthy clothes and into some filthy lingerie. I don't think I washed it.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Look, look, look. Am I guilty of anything? Yes. Of having a great sense of humor.", "c": ["Herbert Love"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I forgot the joke.", "c": ["Herbert Love"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Did you take the silver glitter? / Nope. I mean, I'd say check the junk drawer, but I can't differentiate anymore.", "c": ["Marky", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Blue in the face, yeah. That's better than what I had, actually. I was gonna say they'd be covered in ink and glitter.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Marky"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Does it look like I'm lying? It did. But not to a man with face-blindness.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Because Lindsay could only spend so many hours with a shrill, feathered creature... ...and needed to get away.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I used to wear that with the Captain. / Tennille? / And not make contact, yes!", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "There are two S's in 'congress.' And I just call myself Lucille... Lucille 1. I'm so sorry. No. Just Lucille.", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "It's from a dear Hispanic supporter. And I'll never get it into the bay in one piece.", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Honestly, Lucille 2, you've been like a mother to me. Aw. Except kind and loving and willing to let me eat.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Lucille 2"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "That's a face? Everything I do is wrong.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I don't know if I've said this before- it's not important or anything- but I'm really, really pretty.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I'm the straightest guy you know! Why does every man feel like they have to say that to me?", "c": ["Marky", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Ooh, a Neiman's catalog. But it was what she found stuck inside the catalog that got her attention.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "And that's when she found the mother lode. 'From Gangie 4: Facelift.' What a load of... Mother.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Oh, great, looks like we've got another high-end hooker in here. Oh, thank you, Mother.", "c": ["Lucille", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Put a 'Y' on there. 'Nosy.' And you should be thanking me for that. You looked like a can opener.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I'll be out on parole by the time you work up a tear.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Just goes to show, the apple does not far from the tree fall. I am like you nothing.", "c": ["Lucille", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Your 3:00 p.m. hot rock massage is open. Thanks for coming, sweetheart.", "c": ["Prison guard", "Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "What's the worst that can happen? [Cut to chaos with ostrich]", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Ah! What a great day to step out onto an over-irrigated golf course and play a game that wastes vast acres of usable, farm-able land.", "c": ["Herbert Love"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Lindsay, I forgot, you dyed your hair. Do you have any money?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I tried. Tell your therapist I tried.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I'm getting a lifetime achievement award for my work in the entertainment business. I tried. Tell your therapist I tried.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "What's your name, princess? Cindy Featherbottom. Of the Laguna Beach Featherbottoms?", "c": ["Herbert", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "It's, uh, 714... Right this way, sir, right this way.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Staff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Oh, God, he blued himself.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Give me a call; perhaps we can engage in some sexual congress. Although that's a total giveaway, right?", "c": ["Herbert", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "In fairness to Lindsay, it was Marky's face-blindness that led him to mistake this photo for the candidate. Why Lindsay failed to recognize musical icon Nat King Cole cannot be explained.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Are you really going to whore yourself out like that? I am not a whore. Yeah, you're a whore. I am not a whore.", "c": ["Maeby", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "If you see a woman named Lindsay, tell her to bail me out. I'll do my best, sir.", "c": ["Marky", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, start your engines. No, Gob. Oh!", "c": ["Lindsay", "Buster", "Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Kids or people who like kids. So, where's Marky?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "They're upping my charges from prank bomb to non-Arab terrorism.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Jail's a lot like Swappigans, except there's only one thing to swap. It's scary.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Anus tart. Yep, that's me.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Meet, greet. Sure are sweet. What a treat. What did the lamb say? Baa? Bleat.", "c": ["Herbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Your lips are like a Murphy bed. They don't take up much space, but they are there when you need 'em.", "c": ["Herbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I'm going to meet with some of my, uh, 'constititutes.'", "c": ["Herbert Love"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "The wall between Mexico and the U.S.? Tell him to take it down? Or just not to put it up. No wall yet. Oh, no, there's no- I knew that, yeah.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "The wall between Mexico and the U.S.? Tell him to take it down? Or just not to put it up. No wall yet. Oh, no, there's no- I knew that, yeah.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Fat Tracey or thin Tracey at the end?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "What the hell? It's better for my back anyway.", "c": ["Herbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Wait... I can't do this unless you promise to be against the wall. What the hell? It's better for my back anyway.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Herbert Love"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Aah, Jesus Christ! Oh! I'm sorry. Why would you do that? No, I thought it was cute, I saw it in a movie.", "c": ["Herbert", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Lindsay wasn't special, but he'd gotten the necklaces on special.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Uh, Bluth. I made a reservation. Hi-lo. Nice to meet you. Oh, I'm sorry, the Bluths have been seated. But she wasn't the only Bluth pretending to be something they weren't that night.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Hostess", "Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "High school. Brother and sister. We can't be brother-sister- she knows about the family. We don't. Just met.", "c": ["Michael", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Well, don't you have to have power to abuse the power?", "c": ["Herbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Well, don't you have to have power to abuse the power?", "c": ["Herbert Love"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "You wouldn't believe the scallops they're throwing away here, but I got out of that Dumpster my way.", "c": ["Marky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "It's over between us. My wife found out and I told her there was nothing emotional, that you were just a prostitute. I'm not a prostitute.", "c": ["Herbert Love", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "It's over between us. My wife found out and I told her there was nothing emotional, that you were just a prostitute.", "c": ["Herbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "This isn't over. I'm not some taco you can throw into the bay.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "It's called hooking up. And, yeah, I got a little sidetracked, but I know who I am now. I'm back to being severely liberal.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Show-and-tell? Oh, she just means these photos of Herbert Love with a mystery redhead he's cheating on his wife with. Who took these? The first two were taken by the security camera in the Albertsons parking lot.", "c": ["Sally", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I've got to find someone to jump onto that stage and to show everyone here that we are the party that has complete con-con... Complete con-con-con... con-con... Complete... Giant.... trol.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "Love wants to put up a wall. No, no. I mean, not just any wall. A wall to keep out the Mexicans. Oh, wow, what a great crowd, uh...", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "I mean, someone should put up a wall. Yeah. We should put up a wall. Put up this wall. Put up this wall! Put... up... this wall.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "My name is Lindsay Bluth, and this is who I am. A Bluth, just like her mother.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "And Annyong tries to stick the Bluth family for a tomato juice that costs him $700 and ultimately his freedom. Good-bye, Annyong.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Red Hairing"}, {"t": "And I am also a registered sex offender.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Now, let's have a wrap-about.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Daddy needs to get his rocks...", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Oh, is this going to be SAG or AFTRA?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Anus tart. - Yep, that's me.", "c": ["Tobias", "Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "a theralyst.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Ah, well within my rights.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Oh, and Simon says you're out.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Sometimes I have to tell people 'cause they can't figure it out from when I say the things that I...", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "\u266a Go away, Getaway, get away, Getaway. \u266a", "c": ["Mark Cherry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "I'm not Andy (bleep)ing Richter. I'm Emmett.", "c": ["Emmett"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Simon says you're out.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Could you give me one second to organically get...? And I'm also a registered sex offender.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "But I love her. Surely there must be some way we can be together.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "\u266a Hot cops, we'll clean up the town... \u266a I ain't no squealer.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "I got here soon as I could. I'm Dr. House, and it's called GVH. The graft is rejecting the host.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "But like a dog's wagging tail, Argyle's tapping feet betrayed his true feelings.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "She was in the movie The Fantastic Four. Oh, my God. I was in The Fantasticks.", "c": ["Tobias", "Argyle"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "\u266aMr. F.\u266a", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "It's Tobias' Arrested Development.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Well, that's a good luck sign on Broadway. On the East Coast it's 'break a leg,' on the West Coast it's 'lose a tooth.'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "On the East Coast it's 'break a leg,' on the West Coast it's 'lose a tooth.'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Beard! Beard, I'm only here to pick up my car keys.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "the one she owns, not the one she famously went to 12 times.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "True, I can't ethically ravage her body. I have to leave that to time", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "there are no schools or libraries or Internet or playgrounds within 20 miles of here.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "it's funny, I've been looking for a place to live, and that fills virtually every parole requirement I have.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "And this will make my stay shorter, right? I'll get out of here a week sooner?", "c": ["Mark Cherry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Am I crazy, or is this really good?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "See, you keep writing this infantile, ridiculous melody over and over and over again.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "As your therapist, I'm happy that you're expressing yourself. But as a director, I don't have to like it. And I don't. But, also, good for you. Therapist now speaking. But, also, no.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Am I crazy, or is this good? It's really good.", "c": ["Tobias", "Argyle"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Am I crazy, or is this good? - It's really good.", "c": ["Tobias", "Argyle"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Now what if, say, I could raise between $50 and $100?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Hey! I can whistle. Ooh, we have to use that in the show.", "c": ["Mark Cherry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Three of us? Houston, we're having a baby.", "c": ["Unknown actor in film"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Say hi to Ron Howard for me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Like the $18 baked potato you ordered that you didn't touch.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "family first, unless there's a work thing, and then work first.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "I'm a tall drink of water, and he's the chaser. Should be flipped, right?", "c": ["Lucille Austero"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "you owe my sister $700,000, and I'm going to chase you down until you pay up.", "c": ["Argyle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Taps. And I can tap dance all over your face, if you know what I mean. Even if my heart won't snap back into place.", "c": ["Argyle"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "\u266aMr. F.\u266a Argyle was wrong on that count. It was Buster who wore the gorilla suit.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Hello, anus tart. And she never even saw the license plate.", "c": ["Lucille Austero", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Me doth think he hath a lady. As doth I dooth.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "we are (bleep). You're (bleep). (bleep). I mean, unless some sort of miracle coincidence happens. But, no, the best thing to do is just walk away,", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Reverse psychology. It didn't work.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "I will act as your assistant and maybe I'll do my famous gay character. - I don't think you've seen that character. - I think I have.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "I think I have. Mm... I don't think so.", "c": ["Michael", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "This is a hat-on haircut, so you just cut what they can see. You got it, Floyd? I call all my barbers Floyd.", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "And as it is such, so also as such is it unto you", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Did you not know that I'm Rebel's dad? I knew that part.", "c": ["Ron Howard", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Did you not know that I'm Rebel's dad?", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Her lover? Well, this is hardly an episode of Happy Days.", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "I was arrested as a sex offender, but at least I knew it was my daughter I was arrested for coming on to.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "which, with a wave of your little pink hand, you could make happen", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "I also don't want to.", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "You are ruining my life, Ron Howard!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Tobias Onyango Funke.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "He's back. I got the rights. We're going to make a musical. Or just lie.", "c": ["Tobias", "Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Maybe they should retitle this Fantastic Three and Lousy One.", "c": ["Lucille Austero"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "In case you didn't know, the stage adds seven pounds. - Two words: diet pills.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "you're sure the Hispanic community is okay with all of this?", "c": ["Unknown patient"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "The audience will be completely drunk, and if we're not perfect, they'll take it out on us, but... that's why you're going to be perfect.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "I'm a registered sex offender. All right. I'm a registered... I'm a registered sex offender.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "You're a monster, you don't have to be good. What? It wasn't a great choice of words.", "c": ["Tobias", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "How could you do this to me? Or did I do this to you? You to me.", "c": ["Tobias", "DeBrie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "I just blue myself for the first time in five years.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "Nice ad-lib. Not an ad-lib... I can't swim.", "c": ["Unknown performer", "Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Smashed"}, {"t": "They take no prisoners... because they are prisoners... at the Orange County Correctional Facility L.I.T.E.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "They're the ruling gang in this four-star hellhole", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Real Asian Prison Housewives of the Orange County White Collar Prison System", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "one of our members is a real 'B' word", "c": ["Gang member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "In civilian life, we'd just vote Lu out, but here... she's gonna end up on the wrong end of a noodle", "c": ["Gang member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Uncooked. You get me?", "c": ["Gang member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Their bark is louder than the dogs they eat back home", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Anyone who comes after me is going to be one unfortunate cookie", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "I made a pun", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "It's Lucille's 'Arrested Development'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Years before her behavior had become 'bossy, bossy' with the Jade Dragon Triad", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Full steam, boys!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "you're usually as hard to miss as Liberace wearing a fright wig", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "I'm practically counting your crow's feet", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "maybe I should turn back and show you another bird", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "But it was clear that Lucille 2 hadn't heard it", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "in a fit of what sailors call 'sea rage'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Coming about, boys!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "in what can only be described as a 'sail-past' gone wrong", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Correction: good news for Barry", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "She stole the 'Queen Mary' to get away from the SEC. Oh, and she winked.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Correction: it's a glare", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "It's only a trial separation. I made a pun.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Even in this time of stress", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "This toast has hook holes... again! I told you to get rid of that thing; it's hideous.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "what's gonna happen when they swear you in? You're gonna rip the Bible in half. The jury will love that.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Maybe you could hook me up with a little stimmy. Lil' stimmy.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "And I want stimmy to get a hook that'll do that", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Homosexuals kidnapped the boat and took it on a joy ride. Mother didn't want to trample their rights, so she let them.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Make it an eel. It's gonna be an eel! Better.", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "I'm staring at a hundred years in the face! How dare you.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "It sure would be a shame if something happened to your pretty little key witness. Star witness. And are you threatening yourself?", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "And he's supposed to be the good one", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Actually, they'd claimed those things years earlier when she was having a sunspot checked", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "I've made a pun. Oh, how could I not do it for my oldest friend? Oh! Now I've gone and done a double. A double.", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Like your pre-surgery chin. Or your post-breakfast drink.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Your references are as fresh as the wallpaper in the room of that pretend child you've had all these years", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Your pillow must look like a Rorschach test. Not that there'd be anyone to see it.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Says the woman whose liver can be spotted from outer space", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Well, our cashier's pregnant, and she's not married, so...", "c": ["Prison clerk"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "A $20 gratuity is appreciated?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "The same girl who hands me towels does the cavity checks. You tip.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "That's a gang? I thought they were tech support.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "'Roop hore'? Roop hore. You couldn't have chosen a harder word to say.", "c": ["Gang members"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Your move, Olive Garden", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "You couldn't have chosen a harder word to say", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "And soon the Dragons were taking 'drags on' their cigarettes again", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "I got Olive Garden to offer us unlimited bread", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Who better than the Chinese to help us build a wall, right?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Ancient Chinese secret, huh? It's no secret-- we'll kill you.", "c": ["Gang member"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "My God, he Steamboat Willied it", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "I can't tell you who, 'cause I'm dating someone famous. someone... famous.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "That was an a...?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "I'm as normal as blueberry pie", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "You look as swishy as Ryan Seacrest. Ryan Seacrest is straight. And I'm 40!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Perhaps that's why they call this place Au-stare-ity", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "He thinks that horrible monster looks like me! So fine, you want to call me a villain, I accept it! I'm your villain!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Take to the sea!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "\u266a My heart is in pain / I just want to flee / From me. \u266a", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Rules are meant to be broken, huh? We have Dove bars?", "c": ["Lem"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Gene! He does this to me every time! What's he doing here, Mom? I thought he was that guy.", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "She missed a step. Tell her she missed a step. She can't do it like that.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "Do you think I'm here for the donkey punch? Which I do love, and it's the only night you can get it.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "What you are is the Invisible Girl. You make it impossible for people to see you in order to protect yourself.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "They're going to be talking about this bomb for years", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "They're going to be talking about this bomb for years. Oh, God, it is bad, isn't it?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Queen B."}, {"t": "And then thanks for the birthday card that I never got from you for the last 40 years.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "...that led to this tinkling match.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I've met someone. Can't really give you any information-- kind of famousy.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Also famousy. Can't give you any information.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Is it Julie Bowen? / No, it's not. / Is yours Julie Bowen?", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I want to hear you say the words 'I'm not seeing Julie Bowen.' / I have not seen Julie Bowen. / Well, that's a funny way to phrase it.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "But soon the hard lemonade softened their competitive edge.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "No, they don't.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I'm not talking about selling these mausoleums. I mean destroying Tony Wonder.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I need you to act as my boyfriend to help me get in.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I am your brother. / You sound like my son.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I love magic, of course. I mean, my dad's a magician. Well, you're my dad, I mean, so, so you should know.", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Well, technically gay night at a magic club.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "and then thanks for the birthday card that I never got from you for the last 40 years.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "This was extra hard for Steve to hear on his actual birthday.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "that wasn't for revenge, that was just on spec.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Jesus. / No, that would be a 'J.' This is a 'T.'", "c": ["Steve Holt", "Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "He got the last laugh, which, in this case, happened to be the first laugh.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Listen, if you insist on speaking to me like you're my wife, then don't be surprised to find my [bleep] in you and then you never hear from me again.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I should have my attorney Bob Loblaw look at this.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "It's Gob's Arrested Development.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Do I seem like a clown to you? / I got it. / Do I seem like some kind of a clown to you?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "No, the Gothicassle. Yes, the Gothic Castle. / No, I didn't say the Gothicassle.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I think you look amazing. / I'll take it. / Great. / No, no. The compliment, not the shirt.", "c": ["Store Employee", "Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "which, that night, did actually kind of resemble the Gothicassle.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I do know that your daddy wants you to get your hot, little, tight, little, hot ass right up there right away to see him.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "and I just needed a believable arm candy bean.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "And don't make that face; you look homophobic.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "the Fakeblock thing will scrub it away. / You know about Fakeblock? / You know, that's my software.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "You're giving me these craz... / Mad? / N...", "c": ["George Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Bit my tongue, that little bitch. / Oh, no, he didn't. / They're always doing that. / I mean, oh, no, he didn't.", "c": ["Gob", "Onlooker"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I never want to sleep with you again. / I mean, I probably will. I don't. / But are we good?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Who's the dumbwaiter now?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Well, I'm here, I'm queer, and now... I'm in a chair!", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Did somebody say Wonder? / Nobody actually did that time, but I think he got away with it.", "c": ["Tony Wonder", "Narrator"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Now everybody's gay! / They started out gay.", "c": ["Tony Wonder", "Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Did somebody say Wonder...ing?", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "See, it's like a quotation mark, but with a 'W.'", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "You should have seen me when they took me out of the storage locker.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I even shaved them. Want to feel? / Wow, they are smooth. / Like a lady's. / I think.", "c": ["Tony Wonder", "Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Valet is closing. The Cabriolet-- license plate: 'ANUS TART.'", "c": ["Valet"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "As it turns out, they did a lot more than steal pies.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Don't call me girl, friend.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Oh, I have a list of men that could fill every opening you have.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "That was all cheese, but no mustard.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I'm not here right now, because I'm right behind you. Made you look. But how did I know you looked? Because I'm right behind you! Made you look again.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Who wants to help me build a wall to keep Mexicans out of America? [bleep] / All right, all right! Who wants to help me build a wall for no reason? It's a different wall.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "You should get the Chinese to build your wall. We make great walls. / I'm Chinese; I know all Chinese.", "c": ["Chinese Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Would you get off my [bleep], Mother! / Well, if I wasn't sure you were gay, I am now.", "c": ["Gob", "Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Trust me, I am all man. Give me a little leg shave?", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Poor guy doesn't realize I'm about to destroy our life. Our life? I mean, destroy our life with Gob. Dest... I'm going to destroy our life-- my life-- with Gob.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "\u266a Hello darkness, my old friend... \u266a Destroy my life with Gob.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "It seemed Sally had two secrets.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I'm going to need the gayest. / Did you say the 'grayest'? / I need the, uh, gayest one. / Did you say the 'grayest'?", "c": ["Gob", "Siri"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "She's got a kid, he's acting like he's Father of the Year or something. I bet he's pretending Steve Holt is, like, nine. I just saw him, he looks 50.", "c": ["Person at Little Ballroom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "First of all, that's very dated of you, Michael. 'He's' don't like to be called 'she's'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "It said 'Love each other' on the foot band. / Yeah, that does sound like one of mine.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "It was a merry mix-up.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "It was a merry mix-up.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "This gay bar would be the best...! / ...something that can fillet a chicken and subdue an intruder.", "c": ["Gob", "Commercial"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "With sex offenders.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "It's, like, God... you get me. Well, you're an easy guy to get.", "c": ["Gob", "Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Same! I was gonna say it. Same! I was thinking the same. That's so weird! ...same. ...same. Crazy! ...zy!", "c": ["Gob", "Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "It almost went down my throat.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I would definitely stay and have gay sex with... or normal sex with you, but...", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "I have... feelings for you.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "The feeling was friendship, but neither had ever experienced it.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Oui. / What? We what? / No, oui. It's French for 'yes.'", "c": ["Ann", "Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "We're going to destroy Tony's career by proving that he's straight when he has sex with you while you're wearing... this Gob mask.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "It's a straight bait.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "You think the Shubert Organization would entrust a project like Dreamgirls to a straight producer?", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Biggest fake gay there is, by the way.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Now everybody's gay!", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Stupid, forgetful Michael.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "Who was that? / No one.", "c": ["Unknown", "Rebel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "A New Attitude"}, {"t": "And if you do my Spanish, I'll teach you how to French.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Does that include the crew?", "c": ["Unknown student"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Well, if it's dumb to stay behind with you, call me a dummy.", "c": ["Perfecto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "We don't say 'dummy,' and unfortunately you two alge-tards are going to need some special tutoring.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "What kind of loser spends his free time tutoring high school kids? - This kind.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "George Michael? Huh, what is this? Maeby, what are you doing here?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "But, wait, why are you in high school? Didn't we graduate together five years ago?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "It had been seven minutes.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "\u266a No, it's just a phallus... eee! \u266a", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "George Michael wasn't a very good kisser. It seems he both used his tongue to fend off the intruding tongue, but also laterally moved his lower jaw while constricting his lower lip.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "And that doesn't make me hotter to you?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "We're a couple of, uh, forces of nature, but... - What? - Forces of nature.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "I've got two whole months to flunk. That's got to disappoint them.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "It's Maeby's 'Arrested Development.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Right. Okay, do we have to pay them in money or in rice? If they're in the union, you have to pay with rice.", "c": ["Maeby", "Assistant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "You'd think someone would tell her to shave her arms, the poor thing.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Gangie on the Ganges? That doesn't even make sense.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Pretty makeup or scary makeup? Scary. Well, I think we have the crew that did The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Perfect.", "c": ["Maeby", "Assistant"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "I'm so full of passion. You are so full of (bleep). Yeah, yeah.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Shaman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "She's away at boarding school in England. Is that where we left it?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Please don't squeeze the shaman.", "c": ["Shaman"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Thank you, Maeby, that's actually a compliment in India. My own fault.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Senior year! No? No one cares?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Why would they preempt 'Babies Having Babies' for a turkey cartoon?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "having celebrated it one week earlier when they found that duck in the cupboard, tried to cook it alive, got scared, and then ended up eating it at a Chinese restaurant", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Maeby, your daddy's not going to be around anymore. Excuse me, I swallowed a bug there. Uh, your daddy's not going to be around anymore.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Also, Tobias, you got a callback for something called 'The Big Bang Theory.'", "c": ["Widow Carr"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Yeah. 'Cause I feel like we'll be here forever, and I have a meeting. Um, you're fired.", "c": ["Studio Executive"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Actually, I was thinking I wasn't even gonna have to fire you 'cause it's been on Deadline all day.", "c": ["Studio Executive"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Yeah, it does. I told them.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "which is exactly what she decided to do... / What? / ...at her grandparents' penthouse.", "c": ["Narrator", "Maeby", "Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Pieces of (bleep).", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "That is it-- this is like living in 1999.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "And we're not moving in; we're occupying a space with central air.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Oh, that's good-- I'm gonna try and work that in there. Yeah-- no, I think it's in there.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "P-Hound. I thought it was the other one. No, it-it was P-Hound, yeah.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Well, it's just a Boolean-driven aggregation, really, of what programmers call 'hacker-traps...'", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "You should see his Facebook page. Doesn't have a friend on it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Of course, that last part had nothing to do with Fakeblock...", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Can you imagine what kind of loser pretends to be in high school when they're in their 20s? Well, it's pretty gutsy, right?", "c": ["High school students", "Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Actually, can we make it-- uh, marry me-- a Wild Turkey? I still need to see some I.D.", "c": ["Maeby", "Bartender"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "I'm supposed to believe you're 17? Oh, no, sorry. That's my fake for sneaking back into high school.", "c": ["Bartender", "Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "These guys are making a fortune off that 'To Entrap a Local Predator' show they're on. Were. Won't let us shoot in Laguna.", "c": ["Bartender"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "After 21, it is illegal for you to enroll in high school in the state of California. As a matter of fact, you cannot even lurk.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "I could ask you the same thing. I go to high school here. I could answer the same thing.", "c": ["Maeby", "Barry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "What, do they got cameras in the bushes? Why would they do that? You can't even see into the locker rooms from there.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "And she wouldn't even let me get a cat.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "And she wouldn't even let me get a cat.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! / Here, that way, that way. / And she wouldn't even let me get a cat.", "c": ["Maeby", "Maeby", "Maeby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "I'm getting an Opie? The only bigger honor would be having an award like that named after you, I guess.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "You know what? I think I will do better once I get a little Mexican in me.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "No, they only give that award away to somebody after they die or, even worse, after your career is dead.", "c": ["Mort"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "I think I just remember it that way 'cause it got dicey when I was sneaking back in to take a (bleep) on Sid's desk.", "c": ["Mort"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Take a hat; we got 18,000 of them.", "c": ["Mort"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Well, if you need a name, I'm the guy who came up with Schnoodle. How do we know each other? We don't. That's what it is.", "c": ["Mort", "Rebel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "What, you think they invite the animals and ask them to wait while they build the zoo? No, that would be a bloodbath. Yeah, a total (bleep) bloodbath.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Come on, this could be my only chance to be a Harris. A Harris? Oh, heiress. You meant... You don't pronounce the 'H.'", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "I tried to deactivate my Facebook profile. It's easier to get out of Scientology.", "c": ["Rebel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "That's my undercover cop boyfriend. I'm trying to get him in bed.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "It's the kids from 'Modern Family.' Sorry. Rico!", "c": ["Perfecto"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "To be continued. You better believe it.", "c": ["Narrator", "Maeby"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Double (bleep) newsflash. I'm starting Fakeblock with George Maharis, the world's first antisocial network.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "So you can take this Opie and shove it up your (bleep), all right? Because I will (bleep) punt the next god(bleep) (bleep) who tells me I'm finished, you (bleep) (bleep)hats.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Are you really gonna whore yourself out like that? I am not a whore. Yeah, you're a whore.", "c": ["Maeby", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "and became her mother's pimp.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "And just to be clear, I want to hire her for prostitution. Yes, no, definitely. That was clear. I'm gonna charge you for that.", "c": ["Campaign Manager", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "For all I know, it's not even real! But I think this might be going through the roof! I'm calling it my first 'Hypothetical Buy.'", "c": ["Jim Cramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "That's funny, I actually used to date a guy named Steve Holt. Ha! Steve Holt! Yeah, that's the guy.", "c": ["Maeby", "Exterminator"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Why did we stop? / We hit a bug. / I know, I know, I've got these things very, you know, meticulously maintained. / (bleep) / There are some vultures. They might still smell Pete.", "c": ["Maeby", "Michael", "Michael", "Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Maeby, you're fired! I got her coffee.", "c": ["George Michael", "Mort"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "You're never too old to stand up to a bully.", "c": ["Anti-bullying badge text"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "What kind of cop doesn't have a gun? / Okay, I'm not a cop. / But I saw your badge at the bar. / In fact, it was an anti-bullying badge.", "c": ["Maeby", "Perfecto", "Maeby", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "You're never too old to stand up to a bully.", "c": ["Anti-bullying badge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "A se\u00f1or? I'm 17. Ha! You're 17? Yeah. I'm 23. Oh, that's a relief.", "c": ["Maeby", "Perfecto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Congratulations. You got your first A. Oh, thank God. This A is finally gonna get me out of high school. No, sex offender, your A is going to jail.", "c": ["Rocky Richter", "Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Oh, God. I'm gonna have to live in Sudden Valley.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Se\u00f1oritis"}, {"t": "Carlos was just... tickling me.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "You're dead, man, you are so dead. That was the last root beer snow cone.", "c": ["Terry", "Carlos"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "You know my name! What's his name? You're the kiss-ass, Carlos. What's his name?", "c": ["George Michael", "Carlos"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "I barely know their names. I mean, I know Carlos, but... only because of that old song 'Carlos the Tickle Monster.'", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Wait, what song is that? Oh, god, I knew he made that up.", "c": ["Rebel", "George Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "And... that's where the song should've ended. So I guess we all got a little carried away. Are you sure? We all ended at the same time.", "c": ["George Michael", "Band members"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "George Michael's wood block band ending at the same time because 'you all sped up together' - his superiority about his 'amazing internal clock'", "c": ["George Michael", "Band members"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "But this is about my demo tape to Juilliard and they've got to dig what I do so much that they start an entire department for wood block.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "I mean, the whole point of the band is to showcase my amazing internal clock. You know, that's something you have to be born with. Or bred with.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "BabyTock promotional video where George Michael appears as a test baby", "c": ["Baby George Michael", "Tracey", "Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "And if I were a doctor, I would guarantee you that it would also boost their brain power 110%.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "That's a lot of brain power.", "c": ["Interviewer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Uh, well, that's impossible... To deny.", "c": ["Tracey", "Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "So we're stuck with 5,000 of these worthless corn-ballers?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Perfect for those who like the sound of a clock, but don't know their numbers.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Mother of (bleep)! We should put these in cribs.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "That's not a half puny thought.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Hitting a block of wood.", "c": ["P-Hound"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Before the world cracked me open and I became the guy that you're looking at now. George Michael 2.0. God, I hate my name.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Rip it up... right down the center. That's it. Rip it. Couple more. Did you get it? Proud of you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "N... no. No, no. (laughs): What?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Let's make it a... Pepsi. Drinking Pepsi in the morning.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Oh, excuse me, I forgot it wasn't morning. (laughing): I forgot it wasn't morning.", "c": ["George Michael", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "And that's what we call only being behind by three.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "You guys broke up. Oh, thanks, Ray, I almost forgot.", "c": ["Ray", "George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Is that... ? Okay, I guess it's not, uh, not gonna be a person.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "And C? I think one on C. M? M? Oh, one on... M? One for sure on... one. And Z? One.", "c": ["George Michael", "Researcher"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "You make love like a boy. Spanish, speak to me in Spanish. Because the only way that college credit is actually activated is if I have...", "c": ["Spanish Woman", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Dominarme. Cook... cook at... Cooking at you? Overpower me. Oh, yes, make me cry. You're a terrible mother.", "c": ["Spanish Woman", "George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "It gets better.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "I sort of feel like a king returning to his castle. Only to discover that they thought he was two kings. Double castle.", "c": ["George Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Can't wait to meet Michael, George.", "c": ["Roommates"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Otherwise, they're gonna think you're a musician, huh?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "That sounds like a mother of an invention.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Well, these are a (bleep) joke. Where are the mallet options? There's no choice of wood weight or grain type. There's no diameter hole option. I mean, what is this, BabyTock?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "You know, the sharp metal box that you put in the crib. Is that not a well-known... ?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Block-block? No. People are going to think we're in the chicken-noise business. How is that a chicken noise? You know... well, it's kind of hard to do in these matador pants, but, you know... Block-bl...", "c": ["George Michael", "P-Hound"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "It's $5,000 for the domain name, and then there's this whole XML Web site fee. I got the last one. That was 99 cents. Times three.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Oh, it's her last name. But her most recent grade is... well, this just shows an Elvis Presley head.", "c": ["Tutor coordinator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "So, that bad? I'll take her. Stay on top of her. You may need to ride her pretty hard.", "c": ["Tutor coordinator", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Was she your first? Cousin? No. Why would you... why would your mind go right to... ? No.", "c": ["P-Hound", "George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Overtly sexual. Right. As I live and breathe. Crazy.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "But for the phrase, 'as I live and breathe,' he nailed it.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Well, don't forget... I'm a Harris. Harris? Yeah. Someone who 'inharris' a lot of money.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you know, I wouldn't put all my Anns in that basket.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "You've never been a risk taker. I like to (bleep) with people. That's what I do. I'm making a statement.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "I made a 40-year-old woman cry in Spain.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Well, you know, in algebra, you have an unknown element, and, uh, we call it 'X,' and then you have to solve for it to find out what number 'X' is. 'X' isn't a number.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "But in that moment, the urge to educate her was more powerful than the urge to kiss her.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Yeah, let's get wasted. Let's drink that formula. It's not that kind of formula.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "He had not responded now for 41 seconds, according to his unfailing internal clock, and it was time to come clean.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "And he found himself suddenly and effortlessly tapping into a long-inbred instinct for lying. A Bluth taking his first steps in deceit.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Ay, dios mio.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "No, he wouldn't. He... I... I was just leaning back, so it looked like I... I got this chair again, didn't I?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "That was fun. Did he look betrayed to you? He kind of always looks that way.", "c": ["George Michael", "P-Hound"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Well, I'm getting a lifetime achievement award at this gala. Well, you might want to get that out of the way, too, I guess.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Because I can't bring any of my friends without getting permission slips from their parents.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Oh, he's nobody. Oh. It's Justin. That's David Henrie. He's Justin from Wizards of Waverly Place. Hmm. It's on a lot in Spain.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Buenas noches, peque\u00f1o Scarlet. I will be needing a room, please. How many nights? Two. Sorry. No, just one night. I thought you were saying how many people.", "c": ["George Michael", "Hotel clerk"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "One bed, one night, two people, let's solve for 'X.' I hate young Hollywood.", "c": ["George Michael", "Hotel clerk"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "So funny that didn't come up in the car.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "That geek Maharis destroyed the whole thing. And you know why? Just because he could. Those Internet geniuses... that's what they do. I'm ruined. I'll probably never get to drive the Schnoodle car.", "c": ["Schnoodle executive"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "You know, it's like the time that you told that girl that you were George Takei's son. Well, it's too late. This thing's taking off.", "c": ["George Michael", "P-Hound"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Well, you may have put in the most money to Fakeblock, but I put in the first three dollars, so that makes you a hop-on. No, you're the hop-on, Paul, and I know exactly who you're trying to hop on to. Maeby. Maeby.", "c": ["P-Hound", "George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "I trust you, George Michael. I would not get into bed with you on this thing if I didn't trust you. No. Yeah, of... of course you can trust me in bed.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "We'd just lie there? I mean, I'm talking about business. So am I. That's why we would just lie there.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "when you become an Internet billionaire, you could do whatever you want with me in bed. It was that. That's what made him change his mind.", "c": ["Maeby", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "That was literally the first thing I asked you. So you're giving me these crazy... Mad?", "c": ["George Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "It's my stupid brother! He looks just like me. I'll just go up, I'll find him, I'll... Oh, come on.", "c": ["Andy Richter"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Well, you know, I, uh... I prefer a woman who aims higher.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Just remind me not to go in the men's room!", "c": ["Rebel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Bet you 500 bucks they find a dead kid behind the stick. You know, or maybe on the dead dad's lap whose only fault was loving that kid too much and letting him fly the plane.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Well, you know, a month ago, I would have told you that he and I were exactly the same, that we were twins. But now, I wouldn't even think of my son as my brother.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "It was 99 cents. Times three. Times three.", "c": ["P-Hound", "Lawyer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "Take to the sea!", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "It Gets Better"}, {"t": "It was Tres de Cinco, or the day before Cinco de Cuatro", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "In case you wanted to make confetti out of something other than the pictures that they sell of the chubby Linda Ronstadt", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "As you'll see, he admits it plenty", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "But his biggest fear wasn't confronting a wet, loose seal; it was losing one", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Wait! She doesn't have her makeup! I have her lipstick! Mother!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Mother is going to come waltzing through that door any day now, and she is going to be screaming, 'Make sure you frisk that girl before...'", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "That's my perfume. Mm, good. Okay, good. She wouldn't wear that", "c": ["Buster", "Lupe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "\u266a The vodka goes in, you pour it in the other \u266a \u266a The olive on top and then you call your... \u266a \u266a Mother. \u266a", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Except for the hair. You have reduced. Well, you're not that skinny. Welcome home, chubs. Oh, you will kill me for that. And I don't want that blood on my hands", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "To an uninformed observer, it looked a little like that Vince Vaughn movie Psycho", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "This pasta's way overcooked, Buster! Well, you didn't leave me the simplest recipe, Mother", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Chinchilla! The one you got after Dad had the affair with the chubby intern from Riverside", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Right to the smokes, huh? Give me a minute. Let me catch my breath", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "You've managed to combine people's fear of homosexuals and eels into one alibi", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Half your testicle was hanging out of that thing. Good! I'm glad they saw it", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "And keep your ball joke to yourself, Andrew Dice Clay", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "You're a hot mess! You're a hot mess!", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Hello to you, too, 2", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "It's 5:00 in the afternoon. It's 5:00 a.m. somewhere", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Well, that was a freebie", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "I was making two ban... Late last night, it was drizzling rain! I'm a key witness", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "The fish is frozen here! It's frozen! Do you really want to spend $30 on frozen fish?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Like the saltless pie?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "I hope your juicy blender bender was worth it", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Is that baby toe of yours still crawling over the others like a weird weed?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Oh, it's one of my night terrors", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Did you hear it?", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Before you accidentally skip back too far and wind up in the middle of the Maeby episode, trust me, no '2' was spoken", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Alex Trebek? She then rephrased it in the form of a question. Who is Alex Trebek?", "c": ["Buster", "Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Buster, that was innuendo. Oh. My Lord, it's like we're speaking different languages here", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Holy Toledo, Buster, sometimes I think I'm nothing but a Horn & Hardart to you", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Buster, you can either be a son or a lover and right now, you're no good to me as a lover", "c": ["Lucille 2"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "What will you give me for these? All-time low", "c": ["Pawn shop owner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Are you gay? No. You can tell me. I'm not. It's okay. Drew, tell him. I'm gay. Oh. Peter's gay. Oh... Sergeant Melnick's gay. Oh. Bi. Oh, sorry, he's bi", "c": ["Army officers", "Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Who did Larry Kert replace in Company? I don't know. I know who he thought he was replacing, and it was Dean Jones. But he didn't come close", "c": ["Army officer", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "He deserves a big hand for that and we gave him one", "c": ["Army officer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "This is so much more fun than 'Guess the Fur'", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "If I had him back in the '60s, Cuba would be the 51st state", "c": ["Army officer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Take that, Taliban wedding!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Oh, you can go to Spain in this thing? Maybe you should take a break", "c": ["Buster", "Army officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Innocent people?! You mean I've been hurting guilty people?!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "This looks like you're pointing to a place that buys your gold", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "It's as if they wrote that song for my own son", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Too hard. Uh, I think that was too hard. Okay. Yeah.", "c": ["Buster", "Therapist"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Hope this guy likes the music acts on Saturday Night Live because he's gonna be watching a lot of them", "c": ["Army officer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Aren't you the 'cu-test'?", "c": ["Army officer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "I see a veteran whose hand I'd like to shake. Not that one", "c": ["Ophelia"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "I suppose we could use a Blind Side Monster. Well, we shouldn't call him a monster", "c": ["Herbert", "Ophelia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "See, light drizzle will just annoy you but, you see, thunder... will 'F' you up!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Whether he's an attention hog who looks just like you, or whether he's half your size", "c": ["Undercover cop"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "If you want me to pay for her diaphragm, I get to put my hand in her... Shoe! Nice stop, Blind Side Monster", "c": ["Herbert", "Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "I've worn a captain's hat with someone who had hair like that", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "You can either be a son or a lover to me. And I already have two sons", "c": ["Ophelia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Hamster or turtle? No, Mother. Hamsters are gross. It's a female. Human. Female human. Whole thing", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "I'm not a mother boy anymore. I'm a mother man", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "I'm not a mother boy anymore. I'm a mother man.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "After I've zipped down, you can't expect me to zip up!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "And he's gotten himself in some pretty hot ham water this time", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Oh, this is just like Mother's Day Eve!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Perhaps uno mas, se\u00f1or, to feed to the fishes? Gene Parmesan. This is not my real job", "c": ["Gene Parmesan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I'm in the movie. Oh, no", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Off The Hook"}, {"t": "God, I just hope there are no kids on that plane. 500 bucks they find a dead kid...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Smartphone, stupid man.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "But George Michael was proving more adept at lying than anyone suspected.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "At least he wasn't drunk and bitching about Don Ameche not knowing his lines in Cocoon.", "c": ["Rebel"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "But now, I wouldn't even think of my son as my brother. Although, in fairness, this is something a Bluth brother would do.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "It's George Michael's Arrested Development.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "That's it for me. You guys keep playing. Oh, too funny.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Who would you like us to call in case of an emergency? My dad.", "c": ["George Michael", "Health Center Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Well, you know older guys... the night ends for them at 8:00.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "And I've already got some birth control in me that I paid for myself, and I'd hate to let it go to waste.", "c": ["Rebel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "family first, unless there's a work thing, and then work first.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "I have said that, too.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Okay, first you 'F' me with Fakeblock", "c": ["P-Hound"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Not against the rules. Still a little weird, don't you think? But not against the rules.", "c": ["P-Hound"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "This is no longer a peace pizza. That is a war pizza.", "c": ["P-Hound"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Well, I suppose anything goes in a dorm.", "c": ["Rebel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Well, I aim to not please.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, they sound like terrible people. Oh, they were.", "c": ["George Michael", "Rebel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "If she were to learn that he was merely a wood block player with a heightened ability to track the passage of time, perhaps she would rightly feel lack of pretention should be a given.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "24. Yes, it was, uh, right in here.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "This is like making love with the Wright brothers in their bicycle shop. I'm sure she just meant one of them.", "c": ["Rebel", "Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Hey, how about her knowing they had a bicycle shop?", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Action. Tweet and drive. Yeah, that was good, but it's 'text.' And we need the word 'don't.'", "c": ["Rebel", "Director"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Oh, right, yeah, 'cause, uh, we're twins, and, uh, we have no sense of ourselves as individuals. That's right.", "c": ["Twin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "The twins were proud to show that they voted differently from one another.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "I guess one head's better than two, huh? Twin hater.", "c": ["George Michael", "Twin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "We've been dealing with 'twincists' like you all our lives.", "c": ["Twin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Bender from Futurama. I almost wrote that.", "c": ["Twin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "I happened to remember how much you love bologna.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "He didn't think George Michael liked bologna.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Can't lie to you, George Michael, it's a forget-me-now.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Take a pill to forget your problems. Take a pill to go to sleep. And take a pill to forget your problems. Need an erection, take a pill. Need to forget your problems, take a pill. Take a pill and your problems are forgotten. Just take a pill.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Ninja please.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "22? You look 16. He's 22! He's 22, but looks 16.", "c": ["Sudden Valley Residents"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "It's like it's everyone's birthday.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "We said no clothes, Carlos. Hat is not clothes. A hat is clothes.", "c": ["Sudden Valley Residents"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Guys, maybe... maybe we can't play skins versus skins. Tops versus bottoms?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "No, this is my son, Lem Depardieu.", "c": ["Rebel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "In fact, it was the folks in the pool who were more at risk of being near Lem than he was of them.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "I take things too serious. I take things too seriously. I need to note which one of those is correct, because I sound like a horse's ass when I alternate between the two of them.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "'Serioush' is nothing. That's not a word.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Maeby, you're fired!", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "So... you're the other guy.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "She wants it easily-breezily", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "I want you to know that I think that I've been coming on a little bit too strong... and we're walking down the aisle", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Was that fun for you? No.", "c": ["Michael", "Rebel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Are you gonna call me? If I'm in traffic.", "c": ["Rebel", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "\u266a I just stole this fair young miss \u266a \u266a From a big shot, George Mahar... \u266a", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "You're out of the movie", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "I mean, who would not want to raise their kids here?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Oh, great... pain fades slowly. Quickly.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "I would rather have sex with someone because they thought I was someone else than not have sex with someone because they thought I was me.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Well, I figured who better than the Chinese to build a wall. But, no, I couldn't afford them, so I... I hired, um, they're technically Mongols, I guess.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "A horde. That's the minimum. They don't come in anything less than a horde.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "they're gonna have a major Mongolian beef with us", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Yeah, so, I'm George Maharis, and, uh... and Fakeblock is real... Let's put up this wall", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "So there better be two Rebels in here, am I right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "How'd you know about the photo booth?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "But like the victim of a roofie circle, having taken one was the only memory he had lost.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Hey, Gobie. It's Tony. We still on for our sex date tonight?", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "That left hand might be difficult to cuff. Trouble cuffing him. I'm not a monster!", "c": ["Police", "Buster"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "Love each other", "c": ["John Beard"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Blockheads"}, {"t": "While at a tech company famous for providing access to any information, except for its own name", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "This class is geared more to self-defense for the family, not... Not from the family.", "c": ["Instructor", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Whose vertigo made it hard for her to stay on her own feet", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "At the worst possible time. That's not a great sign.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "George Mi... Harris", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Maeby, we can't afford this. And my software isn't even rea... dy.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "She was raised by a different mother than Ron's other kids. It's just a whole different thing over there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "That one's hard to explain.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have sex with you, for money. That perhaps overestimated his value, at least according to the latest Balboa Bachelor Auction totals.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Some of the neighbors are not to be desired. Oh! One got in.", "c": ["Real Estate Agent"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Boy, you guys don't miss a day. Michael had missed two.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Are you okay? Yes, I'm okay. I've wanted to ask you that underwater.", "c": ["Michael", "Young George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Ironically, it was this final threat that did young George Michael in.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "George Michael? George Michael? Hey, pal. Here we go.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "I thought it was a restaurant by the pool. Why did you think I said, 'Watch out for the crabs'? Why did you think I said, 'I always get a hamburger'?", "c": ["Young George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Am I that much of a monster, Michael? Even to you? No, not at all, I just wasn't expecting, uh, you know, a man to be sitting in a Scuba Jr., leaping out at me up in the attic, that's all.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "No, I just took the skin off. It's in the dryer.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "No, pal, we were gonna use this scuba gear for scuba diving. Underwater. Not to hang out in a poison cloud.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "We used to want to play dress-up. Her as Jackie O., me as John-John... But we... No, I guess we did get to do that a couple of times. \u266a Motherboy... \u266a", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Pick a lane, Michael! You can't say I can't be here and say you're not looking after me. Pick a lane, Michael!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Hope I never do that to my own, uh... um... Mom. Son. Ah. Oh, right. Hope I never do that to my son.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Pick a lane, Michael. Pick a lane, Buster. No, you pick a lane! Come on. Ow, ow, ow. I picked a lane!", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Hey. What are you doing here? And almost immediately found himself helplessly doing the opposite. I'm dating Rebel Alley.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Like when you punch your dad.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Like when you punch your dad.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Ciao. Bella.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Boy. It's like the Weimar Republic in that place.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "I'm doing a scrub-down. Nobody can know I was here, having a little smooch with my boyfriend.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "While she believed that he was an undercover cop posing as a teenager. A se\u00f1or? I'm 17. Ha! He turned actually out... to be a teenager, posing as an undercover cop, posing as a teenager.", "c": ["Maeby's boyfriend", "Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Just panties, leggings, corsets, the sex knobs, and one of those double-headed bondage things with the curly choke leash. That's probably a landline.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "You drive her car. How do you still not know who that is?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "You're burning bridges all over the place.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Well, for starters, you could post it on Dadfights.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "It's just, like, a bunch of guys punching their dads, or...? Yeah, well, you're supposed to say, 'Guess what, Dad,' but some dads were catching on, and they were just whaling on their kids. You can watch those clips on That'sWhatSon.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Forget, but never forgive. You think she meant to say it that way?", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "They should take the rapists and murderers and put them all together on an island... and the murderers can be raped, the rapists can be murdered... until you only have either two rapists or one murderer. One raped murderer but who cares about him?", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Isn't today Cinco? Today's the sixth.", "c": ["Michael", "Officer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "But they just don't pay fair. I do okay. Hmm? Yeah, I'm sure you do. But, you know, you probably... you haven't had to pay for a meal in years, though. Huh?", "c": ["Michael", "Lieutenant Toddler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "It's the way that I say goodbye. Um... because you never know, um... if you're never gonna see someone again. You should know that. You see people actually die. I've seen one person die. A postman.", "c": ["Michael", "Lieutenant Toddler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "I don't allow men in my apartment without my husband present.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "What do you call it? Um... What do you call it? Brains. Long-term brains.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Here? I'm just getting some boner pills... and this guys says I don't need them. He knows from boner...", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Mexico won't be able to walk for a week. Two full weeks!", "c": ["George Sr.", "Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Mexico won't be able to walk for a week. Two full weeks!", "c": ["George Sr.", "Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Of course, I'm holding a wig that is made of red hair. So that's those two and the wig, I think that's got it. And my sister has recently gotten the red hair. But she's nuts, so...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Of course, I'm holding a wig that is made of red hair. So that's those two and the wig, I think that's got it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "It's A-N-U-S and then for some reason T-A-R-T. 'A new start.' If you saw it written out, I don't think that you would...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Let me try this one on you. A-N-A-L-R-A-P...", "c": ["Lieutenant Toddler"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Oh, they have one.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "How do you say 'I'm American' in Mexican? Soy americano. Hmm. That does sound good. Ask him for two.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Soy americano. Hmm. That does sound good. Ask him for two.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Driver"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "That little bald one there with the fringed cut-offs who... Yay! Oh,. It's you.", "c": ["Lucille", "Tobias"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "That little bald one there with the fringed cut-offs who... Yay! Oh. It's you.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Family Leave"}, {"t": "Ron Howard wants to make a heartfelt father-son drama that has a good clean message for his illegitimate daughter to star in.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "he's already started paying off -the Hollywood Foreign Press. -No, they're great. - She's funny.", "c": ["Producer", "Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "I want to remake Spider-Man 2, the first one.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "My brother Buster has something better than a hook. A robot hand.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "You're out of the movie. You're out of the movie. He hadn't destroyed. You're out of the movie. You're out of the movie! Know what? You're out of the movie. Fine.", "c": ["Producer", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "I get paid? They're Imagine dollars. They're redeemable in the gift shop. That's Ron Howard. Brian's on the 50.", "c": ["Michael", "Producer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "It's a severance thing they're doing because of Ron's need to be loved and Brian's conflict avoidance issues.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Oh, we only sell these as a set. They were getting very competitive. Were they? Brian was.", "c": ["Gift Shop Worker", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Winner of 1982's Least Seen on Campus.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "I wish I could've seen their faces at the ceremony.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "This is one of only two things the Army warns us about when they issue these. Boy, Kitty does not know what she's sitting on.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Maybe that's a role I can play in your life. Don't say... Mom. Mmm.", "c": ["Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "I ain't got no truck with no blue.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Well, I lived with Mother. Did you think we were dating?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Question's been asked.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "No! No! A thousand times, no! Is that what they'll ask? 'Cause it's not like I'm gonna remember details about where I saw her and what we fought about.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "You kept me from Mother? You sent her to prison? Should I not say that?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Should I not say that?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Just Mama's worst nightmare. Buster's missing. Oh, and his bath has gone cold.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Oh, those things are so easy to beat.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "oh, let's say, boarding school romance.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "cincos and mayos. We need to find out whatever the word for ten is. Find that. It's ten. Every culture uses ten.", "c": ["G.O.B.", "George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "It blew off at the CVS parking lot.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "That's my penis. You don't have to tell me.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Therapist"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "I can get hard, so let's focus on you.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "They're primas. Primos, huh? I've gotta be honest, I've seen better. No, it means cousins.", "c": ["Bartender", "G.O.B.", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "APB. 'Aw, poor Buster.'", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "You always come back to save the family. We joke about that all the time.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "'Hi, I'm Michael,' and I save everyone so I feel special, even though you don't deserve it.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Covered a lot of ground there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "I saw Lucille 2's lifeless body sprawled across the stair car?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Perfect. If that's what happened, tell them.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "This is literally one of only two things the Army warns about when they issue these.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "This is why you always... leave a note. Always leave a note. Where's that from?", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Welcome to the shitty parents club. No, no, we don't have kids.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Mexico sounds far from Perfecto. So that's perfect.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Just the cousins. Primos! This crew. Why do you keep yelling that? Stop it.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Oh, no. They never arrest the drivers. They do come down pretty hard on the cars, but it's cheaper to just retrain the people instead.", "c": ["Dave from Mapping"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "It sounds super futuristic and dystopian, but it's really not.", "c": ["Jeff from Earth"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Primos stick together. Oh. 'Cousin.' It means 'cousins.' That makes sense.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "\u266a Mr. Efe \u266a Play the guitar, old man! Strum! Strum!", "c": ["Mexican horsemen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "They just looked like old white men to me.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Who were those scary, handsome Mexicans on those magical horses? They just looked like old white men to me.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "No, that one was empty. I found it in 'Just Odds and Ends.' Great, you got past my double bluff.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Great, you got past my double bluff.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Maybe it's 'go-op'? To me, that would make less sense. Maybe that's what 'go-op' is. Not everything always making sense.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Bush. Trash bag and bush. Thought it was a woman. Like, hunched over, right?", "c": ["G.O.B.", "George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "That was a ten-gallon Hefty sack? Oh, yeah. Yeah, a ten. Definitely a ten.", "c": ["George Sr.", "G.O.B."], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "I still think you're gonna have a problem with this final 'raped murderer.'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "My daughter is divorcing you. This is it. I'm confused by the word 'it.' I'm confused by the word 'anymore.'", "c": ["Lucille", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Well, this is America. They don't want us to burn signs, they shouldn't write 'em in Spanish.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "I always say, 'Make people cry, make people cry.'", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Puta Night is Thursday. That's so nice. No, I'm not. That was based on her belief that 'puta' meant 'young.'", "c": ["Mexican man", "Lindsay", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Oh. I thought you were just trying to get me to give you a higher Uber rating.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "It's great because it's subtitled in Spanish, but we don't have to read. It's in English.", "c": ["American student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Which was my idea! And I will have Mexico pay for that wall. That is a clever twist.", "c": ["Lucille", "TV", "Lucille"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Hola. Window cleaner! I shall be neither seen nor heard.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "I blue myself. It's vodka. It goes bad once it's opened. I heard the jury's still out on science.", "c": ["Tobias", "Tobias", "Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Guys, it's 9:00. Gives us 30 minutes till they shut down that last machine at Pinkberry.", "c": ["American student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Self Deportation"}, {"t": "Now that the original Michael's back, I suppose we don't need two hands-on-our-hips, pipe-up-our-rectum scolds.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "so cruelly served to me from the back seat of my car by someone who thought I was a Lyft driver. Could have been the pink mustache.", "c": ["Tobias", "Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "I dyed it what I assumed was the color of Michael's skin. Although now that you're back, I do wish I had used a less permanent dye.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "His beard tickled me.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "I want to be part of the problem.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "A puta.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "I hate everything about my life, including you.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Well, that's not the horniest thing I've heard. Daddy not horny.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "I feel like one of these bulls on my breasts.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "You're a bull who wants to stick it in everybody, and everybody ends up sticking it in you.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "I tried to buy those velvet pants. But I chickened out and got these shirts instead.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "He had a face like mine... but same.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Hello, darkness. Sorry, I'm taken.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "My God. Must be nice to be wanted, even if it's just your mom. Oh, cry me a blizzard, snowflake.", "c": ["George Sr.", "GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Hey. It is hard to resist. Taking advantage of the vulnerable.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh. I didn't even recognize you. It's a teenager thing. I could never pull that off. They want to look old, we want to look... You don't look very young.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Family of the Month. Year?! Are you for... Mother Family of the Mother Year! Of the year.", "c": ["Lucille", "GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "which is just tits, teeth and ass, right? Now she's the host of O.C. Can You Say, which is tits, teeth, public affairs, ass, some light interviews. I mean, it's so much more responsibility!", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "She's my Beard now.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Well, technically, it's from the Bluth-Austero Company. Oh, I see. So you're giving it to yourself.", "c": ["GOB", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "I've never been less ashamed of her. Did I say what I think I said?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "It was during the 1992 African-American riots, and they had every right. Every right. Every right.", "c": ["Lucille", "George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "They're like two geodes! You can feel them. I can't. My go-to joke is that these are the best two things John Beard's money can buy.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I'm probably grumpy because I was out late last night, raping and murdering. Not cool. I wouldn't joke about that. I rape and murder, and I joke.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Total regression!", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "God, it's so much smaller than I remember.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "For scenario two, you just found out that your Darth Vader figure is dating your girlfriend, and you find out he knew she was your... Whatever. Who gives a shit?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Well, truthfully... No, I'll just tell you the truth: it's a wig.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Everything I've given her to do or say has only made her go up in the polls. It's like the more offensive it is, the more people get behind her.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "This so-called reporter from the Wee Guardian says I was right. Now, suddenly, she's 'Perhaps I've recalled incorrectly. I'm positively knackered.'", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "So the kissing is part of a plan? Yeah. I thought we could do it when the whole family is on camera getting the Family of the Year Award.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "And then, I open my mouth, and I have these rotted out meth teeth. And I'm like, 'Then why do I gotta my cousin for some meth money, Mom?'", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "We forget, but we never forgive.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Although, by not forgiving, you're throwing everything out and just keeping the hate. Well, how do you think she keeps that figure?", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, you said, 'You want a trophy? Try harder, G.O.B.' But I was like, 'But you gave one to everybody else. What happened to everybody gets a trophy?'", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "And you're gonna be surprised to hear this coming from me... May be a little bit too hard.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Everyone gets a trophy. Count me out. Fine. Everyone but G.O.B. No!", "c": ["George Sr.", "GOB"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "That is not Buster.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "I don't really want to be an actor. It's not what I want to do.", "c": ["Actor playing Buster"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "I'm going in and out of Michael like a cuckoo clock bird.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "I mean, that guy obviously has a giant rubber hand, and I have a giant melted hand that smells like Bounce.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "you know, which is... that's the universal sign for 'things are over.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Well, if you ever change your mind, I ain't going nowhere.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "That's it, I'm out of here! Okay, I get it. Is that supposed to be me? No, that's my impression of Tobias doing you.", "c": ["Michael", "GOB"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Okay, I get it. Is that supposed to be me? No, that's my impression of Tobias doing you.", "c": ["Michael", "Tobias"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "Why hasn't Michael come back? What happened to 'Michael always comes back'?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Everyone Gets Atrophy"}, {"t": "- They closed the company. - For forgiving his debt. - Don't mind me, I work downstairs. - Hi. Doing a little lunch looting.", "c": ["Employee", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, a lot of people's first house was a Bluth. No, no, I was part of that Cornballer class action suit.", "c": ["Michael", "Employee"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I made enough to put a down payment on a Sitwell. Well, we've put a lot of people in Sitwells, too.", "c": ["Employee", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Uh... oh, God, well, you caught us. Didn't think anybody would be getting on while we were getting off.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "An iPhone 5 charger! Fourth floor.", "c": ["Unknown person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Just to see the roof of a Rite Aid? Which was the first that G.O.B. had heard of the view.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "It used to be a 2 Hour Teeth, the whole place. Yeah, I remember the screams. I guess it was the 90 Minute Tooth guys across the street that put the 2 Hour guys out of business.", "c": ["GOB", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I did see that the old Blockbuster is becoming an 'Hour Mouth,' so those guys gotta be shitting themselves.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Boy, what's a bike tire doing on the roof of the Rite Aid? Yeah, that's the $14,000 a month question, isn't it?", "c": ["Michael", "GOB"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "You're the smart Bluth, I can see it in your eyes. You read, don't you?", "c": ["Adhir"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Or as I like to call him, Chief Worrywart. / It's 'compliance officer.'", "c": ["GOB", "Adhir"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "That's it, go to your office, Adhir. He's the chief compliant officer, so he has to do whatever I comply.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Like you, I'm about to go underwater, but before I go, I'd like to give you some advice: you're not good at this.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I will get a trophy for Dad, for... something. Figure that out later.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Then why did you move into your son's dorm room? That was a year, okay? And not even a full year, because I got there at Thanksgiving.", "c": ["Michael", "GOB"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Not only are you finding me in your son's pants, but you're also finding out how the sausage is made.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "No one was buying me as a straight man. It was a little off-brand.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Lindsay has... what does Gwyneth Paltrow say? 'Consciously un-cuckold' me.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Michael, if I could... put my therapist leggings on for one second.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I suppose I did... start too high. Okay, let's bring everyone down an octave.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I wish I had known you'd had such depth before I gave your part away to a less experienced actor. I didn't know there was such a thing.", "c": ["Tobias", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "He has one personality trait: he always comes back. Well, that and he always has his hands in his pockets. You got peanuts in there?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "No, we leave at 6:00 p.m. You telling me we've got a 14-bell delay?", "c": ["Captain", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Looking for a grandparent? No, thank you. I... No, I have enough.", "c": ["Senior Center Employee", "George Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "That's what the seniors do to keep the young people away. They don't want 'dot-commers' taking over.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "The moment when a young woman realizes... Oh, my God, I've become my father. \u266a In the most delicious way! \u266a", "c": ["Maeby", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I didn't want to say anything, but I was like, 'Maeby looks like a 65-year-old.' What if I told you I was 75? Holy shit. You look fantastic.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "When people catch on, they either forget or they die.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Lost all my personal paperwork in Hurricane Cantina.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Do you realize this condo is listed as Lucille Austero's? Yes. I am her. Sister. I am her sister.", "c": ["Stan Sitwell", "Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "My silky pajamas, my peekaboo bras, my ticklers, sex knobs, and lacy hoo-has", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "He's got horrible aids. Oh, hearing aids. Yeah, yeah, here they call them aids. The other ones they call aids.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Don't worry, if he asks who you are, I'll just tell him you're Tom Collins. He's always asking for a Tom Collins.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "You perverted that into a way to not hurt him.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "You passed out at the aquarium. They make you feel like you're underwater with all these giant... Dolphins? I think that was some kind of smiling, kind of bemused baby shark.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "You tell her, 'I'm here for a quickie', and I'm out of here.' Mr. Brash. And she'll drop you like a buttered cane.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "My wife died there. Ovarian cancer, actually. He's a liar. And... He shouldn't have said that.", "c": ["Michael", "Stranger", "Stranger"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Lied to me, and that's worse.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Were we supposed to lose our precious daughter-in-law and a couple hundred grand in the same year?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "That totally lovely Rita. Uh, she was a smart cookie, that one.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "H-Honestly, I never thought you'd get past the guard gate.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Am I supposed to be me? No! You are... I'm... A girl. You're a girl, Linds, uh, Murphy B... Lucille.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "It's basically Michael without the peanut pockets.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Actually, sometimes, I think I want to be a dog doctor. Ow!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I know 50 gentlemen who would tuck their last nut to play this part.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Does this mean we can start leaving towels on the floor?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I'm making this into a trophy for Dad. / I can't wait to see the one you got yourself.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "It's a good time to be in this business. Everyone gets a trophy. I tell people to stay away from the business. It's always been a lousy business, and these days everybody shops online. Everybody gets a trophy.", "c": ["Trophy Store Owner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "So the guy was like, 'Are you shitting me?' That's usually the sign that you've made yourself a great deal.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "No, he didn't even have keys to the back room. Also, the heat doesn't turn off.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "At least he did something that we have not been able to do. He stood up for himself when his father was wrong.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I told her, 'He's gonna take us from the beach.'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Stacy was the paralegal I used to bring out there who went into insulin shock at the very height of the market.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "You know, I smashed my phone a couple years ago, too. With a hammer. Never missed it. Miss the hammer, but I guess that's why. God made rocks.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Van Halen was in town this weekend rocking audiences. But some beachgoers are getting rocked in a different way... Nirvana was in town... 50 Cent was in town...", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Get off my beach, you stupid seagulls.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "Care to join me for a glass of breakfast wine?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I don't know, maybe she did not hear 'I'm leaving' when I said, uh, 'I ain't going nowhere.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Old Start, An"}, {"t": "I got a cactus, for God's sakes. That's a universal sign for 'things are over.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "You take my bag of lacy ticklers, hoo-ha bras, dog toys, and sex knobs", "c": ["Unknown older character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "he decided to be the adult in the relationship and avoid conflict by squatting in a bush", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "Yeah, standing out here with a bag of sex toys! Let's go! Not getting any less horny out here.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "You know, there's a woman in there who's obsessed with me... Oh, this one, too?", "c": ["Michael", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "That is one dirty cop. Dad.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "I could run that up for you. Save you a trip. Make sure she doesn't think you're trying to break up.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "That is a device that older people use to put their shoes on... without bending over! Get Shoedini right this second.", "c": ["George Michael", "Rebel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "Which was the line George Michael had planned to use, so he improvised. Fine, but I hope we can spend some quality time together later.", "c": ["George Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "Why don't you write a speech for her to say about you? When my mom's giving the speech, we'll be in the background, and we're going at it. And then, I open my mouth, and I have these rotted-out meth teeth", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "who had finally found a way to slip into the family. I'm out. I know. I get it. I feel like a moron.", "c": ["Tobias", "Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "'always horny' shirts... eating chips in the car... 'Shut up, G.O.B.!' And almost making love to some roadside bushes. 'Shh. Don't tell Mom!'", "c": ["G.O.B."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "I only wish it were real gold so that you wouldn't have 30 years of hard work ahead of you. Thirty years!", "c": ["G.O.B.", "George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "They'll have to pry it out of your cold, dead hands.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "You're running to fill a House seat, not a sofa.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "Look who grew out of her sheet. I thought about it.", "c": ["Lucille", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "And without the ability to speak, they resorted to a language they'd learned long ago.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "I mean, well, no, technically, we forgot the debt. We can forget it, but we can never forgive it. We need the write-off.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "Maybe we should kiss again to teach them a lesson. Yeah? Okay, you're presenting awards on a crime scene", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "And my name is Buster Bluth, and, yes, I am a monster.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "For the last time, I was not there. Or, if I was there, I have no memory.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "No, the only way you're stabbing anything is if you have a knife. That's what he meant.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "Yes. And we found you in the break room with the Chanel man. He should never have lost his job for that.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "He was just giving me a Fanta! I know I should've spoken up for him, but I was only a boy. Barely out of my teens. I didn't... Currently.", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "I said 'dead.' Maybe they said 'dead,' and I said, 'I wish.' Why'd you do that? I thought it was funny.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "That's because if you saw the first video, you'd think, 'Why didn't that guy just erase this?' Some might consider that tampering with evidence.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "And the inmates hate me, 'cause what is a defense attorney doing in the shower?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "Of course we're gonna have a great weekend.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "Uh, yeah, I guess I'll take a hamburger with two tops.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "You are just progressing by leaps and bounds. A victim of my own competence.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "This is my bastard son, Murphybrown. Murphy? And his last name is Brown? No. Murphybrown is his first name.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "Close one! I think she's rather very hot. She okay?", "c": ["Murphybrown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "So, you're saying I paid to bail you out? You weren't gonna leave me there, were you?", "c": ["Michael", "Barry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "Why don't you get me a Fanta on your way out of the family.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Sinking Feelings"}, {"t": "I'd never ask you for money. Come on. And it's 50,000 that I'm not asking you for, not 15, okay?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Which I could probably lend you. - Oh, I don't need it. - Huh? No? Good. Yeah? Good, good.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I was gonna use your divorce to pay off my peekaboo lawyer.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Oh, God, the giving up the rat race guy? This is the sand hobo?", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "He tickles my fancy. Your what? Is the... What part of Mom is the fancy?", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "You do not want to know what I'm picturing, and it's not what you think.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Yeah, Lottie Dottie DA, my asshole.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "are we talking about reality or, uh, scripted, as well, because I've got...", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "First, you eat it with Buster, then you step in it with the movie, and now you're eating what you stepped in, because Kitty hates you.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Guess Michael's the geo-bead today.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "'Geo-bead' confusion and George Sr.'s made-up expression", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's one of Dad's expressions... When somebody screws up, Dad said it. One of his 'you'll figure it out someday' expressions.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "G-O-B spells 'Gob,' you geo-bead, so why don't you s... ah. Well, today's the day.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Yes, of course, Marky Bark. From the cuckolding.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Why don't we make out again and teach them a lesson? I can't, 'cause my dad's here, and he thinks I'm still dating Rebel.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "And how would our making out teach them a lesson? T-Teach Rebel a lesson. I meant, teach Rebel.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "George Michael's failed breakup plan with Rebel", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "she was out of town for two months, and it looked like I was waiting for her when she got home, and she thinks we're closer than ever now", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Oh, did that actress die? Oh, you, 2015.", "c": ["Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Did I overhear that Rebel does not want you to meet her family?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I also thought that he was... Her... Her lover? Boss.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Be yourself, George Michael. George Maharis. Yes, be George Maharis, George Michael.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Eating what you stepped in. You made that point.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Who were you dating? Julie Bowen! Actually, it was Tony Wonder", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "a man Gob had been longing to hear from ever since the gay magician poofed into his life, and then, just as quickly... Disa-poofed.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "The only mother figure he's ever had in his life was... Oh, it was Mom. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Huh, poor kid.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Wait, we had Mom. You know, in a way, she was our mom.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I heard we're getting a visit from the grandson. Want a lick?", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, no. Good, more for me. Gonna have more? I can come back.", "c": ["George Michael", "Stan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "If your grandson wasn't here, I'd probably take a peeky-weeky.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "That's starting to tingle. Let me know when it starts to burn. It's gonna burn? Did I not make that clear?", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Nobody said getting out of a relationship would be painless.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Technically, they had to call me Rock Monster. And John Beard actually said I was one of the more popular predators", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I didn't ask, 'What part of a dog do you want to touch?'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Michael! Whatever it is, the answer is no, unless you want the answer to be no, and then, it is yes.", "c": ["Kitty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I was gonna say, they look puffy and red. You guys need to get a room, huh?", "c": ["Kitty", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I can see she's got gum in her mouth. She can hear you.", "c": ["Gob", "Kitty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, Maeby left the dye in too long, and it turned out to be... Howard Red.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "No, it isn't. It... It's... Imagine if it was pink, though.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Someone's come a-courtin'. You're fitting in already.", "c": ["Ron Howard's wife"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "We Howards don't just laugh when things are funny. We laugh when we're happy. And when things are uncomfortable, too.", "c": ["Rebel"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "You mean, when bad reviews start rolling in?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "The company's gonna go under by next week. We're broke. Guess I'm not exactly daddy's dream boyfriend, am I?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "When I started Imagine... With Brian Grazer. ...but look at me... And Brian. Now.", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "But I'll tell you a secret, everyone feels that way.", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "No, I don't like hot dogs. But couldn't. I love them.", "c": ["George Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I'd like to see one get out of here quickly in an emergency. They'd be all... I have to get out of here. Get me out of here.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "'Did you trick her into it yet?' 'Trick her into what?' 'Giving us our rights back, you geo...'", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I'm in a Tumi... suitcase. I think I'm in baggage claim at Long Beach Airport. My assistant's picking me up, unless she takes another gray Tumi by mistake, then I go to unclaimed.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I would've claimed you.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Different in the same way. Same, in a different way. Different... Same... in a same gay way? Different same.", "c": ["Gob", "Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "This is where I ate a battery during my first week at recess. No, no, 'yard.' Don't call it recess.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I almost didn't recognize you without the flashlight in your mouth.", "c": ["Prison guard"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "You charge at a guard, they'll kill you. Oh, yeah. That I should know.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Sort of a son with benefits.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Sometimes, you want to look in your parents' perfect, sweet, kind faces, and tell them off. Punch them.", "c": ["Rebel", "George Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Bailout money, as you put it.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "It's like kissing your cousin. Ugh. Ew. Okay. Gross, okay. Got it.", "c": ["Rebel", "George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "It would be my pleasure to be the man in your life that your father never was.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Oh, no. That's a sickly cactus with a plastic bag on it. Right. For a second, I was like, 'Is that Lindsay?'", "c": ["Tobias", "Murphybrown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I can't tell you how many times I've felt like a fraud. But I'll tell you a secret, everyone... Hey, Ron. Michael.", "c": ["Ron Howard", "Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "You know I'm as straight as they come, I just got a lot on my mind right now with work, slash, am I gay, slash, Buster's in jail.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "This has true crime limited series written all over it. That way, my Rebel could be in it, too. She's no Bryce, but she's like a robot. Gives the exact same performance every take. Real time-saver.", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I don't know how to, Reed. Oh. I must've heard that. I must've heard that. Right? Sure. That, uh... so you get... Do you get the scripts read to you?", "c": ["Ron Howard", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "You think so? Do you think that she's just using him? Yeah. And I'm pretty sure it's not for his body.", "c": ["Michael", "Bryce Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "I think he's got a great build. You know? Um, he's wiry. You wouldn't want him to be taller. I like the young man's body. Okay? I do.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, that's very weird of you.", "c": ["Bryce Howard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "But you're not supposed to leave it in that long. Look at him. Ugh. He looks like a jack-o'-lantern.", "c": ["Bryce Howard"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Unless that person is a dad. For a father must bear his load lightly, and yet, beneath the mask, a watchful eye never wanders.", "c": ["Rance Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Streaming contracts, cable or broadcast? A streamer! No residuals.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Ron Howard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "The opening of the eyes is, uh, a bit of a guestimate lately.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "A skinhead. I'm gonna kill you, you bleeping skinhead! Oh, hey! Skinhead! See what I did to skinhead?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "Look how happy they look together. Just like us.", "c": ["Maeby", "Stan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Emotional Baggage"}, {"t": "She said that I could make up whatever reason I want. You tell me what is easiest on you. Hmm, no, it's too mean. I think you're entitled, Buster. She hates you, Michael. We'll use that one.", "c": ["Michael", "Buster", "Barry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "In my case, twice. Well, two times, allegedly.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "The good news is, you thought I said 'frolicking.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Like when she used to lock me in the bathroom for grown-up selfish needs night. Oh, did we have a good time. What? No, it ended in tears.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Lucille 2's head in a box? Spooky.", "c": ["Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Okay, now inside the stair car are two heads. One bald, one spiky. Spooky.", "c": ["Michael", "Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "I almost said 'the cottage.' I changed it to 'ing on the beach.' It's 'frolicking.' 'Frolicking.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "How dare they keep track of my height while not telling me?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "I don't want to use 'family,' 'cause they like each other, but they're a nice group of people.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "it doesn't turn my stomach to see her eat an ice cream cone.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Did he finish that ice cream cone after I looked away? I don't know. I threw away all the ice cream.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "You gotta try this new eyebrow glue. You can eat soup again.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "If you tried the new eyebrow glue, you could look surprised, too.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "there's not a lot of 75-year-old women who got a body like this. You know? I don't think that's bragging.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Say what you will about Ron Howard as a filmmaker, but the man is not a Nazi sympathizer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "I've heard things about what's really going on in that Grinch movie he made. You know, that anti-Christmas thing, with the Who-ish people?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Lottie-Dottie-DA? Oh, she's a shark, Michael.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "The 4th of July parade is on the 2nd? Yes. They moved it because they don't want the Hispanics to get even by using up all the supplies a day early like we do with Cinco.", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "'Willy Wondy?' Who's Willy Wondy? 'Will he, won't he' do magic on our float. Won't he.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "They, like, convert closets to, like, organize and stuff. Who would think anything different?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "So, what do we have to do to get you into a closet, huh? Wow, you guys don't mince words, huh?", "c": ["Closet salesman", "Gob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "I've never had any complaints.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "But keep in mind, we edited, like, an hour out of this.", "c": ["Closet salesman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "If they're listening, just say 'dogshit.' Mm. What you said, I would repeat, but the family is here, and I want to make sure that I don't get it wrong. Get it wrong? Say 'dogshit.'", "c": ["Barry", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "In the 30 years that I've represented this family, that is the first time anyone has said 'good j...'", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "It's just so mundane. I don't want to bore everyone. It's just so mundane. I'll get out of your hair.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "People are gonna think, 'Here comes the next Steve Gobs.' They're gonna want... Jobs. Jobs, for sure, but they're also gonna want money.", "c": ["George Sr.", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Oh, boy. There's some of that Hollywood BS. There it is. Right there. That's how they use people.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Look at this. Three generations of Bluths in one place. Anybody have a camera? On my phone. Yes, sir. Oh, no. It's a figure of speech. I gotta run.", "c": ["George Sr.", "George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Uh, west. Well, I'll hang out with you at the, uh, beach. Oh, uh... No. Why did I say west? East is where I'm going. Northeast. Northeast, actually.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "You know me. I'm a 20th-century guy. You can keep that futuristic stuff. Okay? Okay. Prismo. Begin. User, Michael Bluth. Lost my keys.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "A good lie is head in a box, but they wanted to go with something real, so we went with the evidence they actually had.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "A good lie is head in a box, but they wanted to go with something real, so we went with the evidence they actually had.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "I will not let that woman steal everything I've taken from her.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Look, I have to be careful, okay? These are not tech-savvy people. The other day, I turned the lounge TV on, and now that's my job. They call me 'Buttons' now. Buttons.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Wow, I was just 'specu-lying.'", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "I mean, I was just day plotting. ... Wait, that's a thing? I mean, I was just day plotting.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "That's a thing, too? I was just crime-storming. You know, just lying out loud. How funny.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "God. Why are all the cute ones so dumb?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Like Alzheimer's? That's a thing, too? I was just crime-storming.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Yeah. A classic two-fister. An old-fashioned will he, won't he?", "c": ["Closet salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Oh, that's north. You said you were going northeast. Well, I'm headed north, then I'm headed east. Otherwise you don't pass the Andersen's P.S.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "No, thank you. Uh, nein, danke.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "If you could tear anything in two, you'd still have a shot at me.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Lindsay? That dumb blonde slut my moron son keeps calling every five minutes since she came back on Cinco de Mayo?", "c": ["Marky's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Well, if you mean is my son anything like his father, well, he's never had any complaints.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Since when is Viagra pink? Your mom says that the Medicare only does the generic. You know, this is estrogen.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "All right, well, then, I guess all that's left to say is lights, camera, action!", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "You're probably not impotent, either.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "I'm okay. The bathroom doesn't work back here, so I peed in a Wetzel bag.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "\u266a Mexican Romney Family \u266a", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "I wouldn't say I deserved an Oscar, but...", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "Two guys coming out of the closet! How hard is that to understand? One is gonna be well-organized. The other one is just gonna be shredded all apart.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "I need two closets! Two guys coming out of the closet! How hard is that to understand?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Rom Traum"}, {"t": "You could go back and forth the whole parade.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "And breathe a word about this to anybody and you're fired.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not going to be the one who apologizes, if that's what you're waiting for. - Well, I'm sorry, but... - Apology accepted.", "c": ["Lucille", "Buster"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Did I exaggerate about her? She really is just like the mother in Two and a Half Men.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "There's no scary half-man that I couldn't handle.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "I touched a mouse. I read an illustrated Qur'an for kids, and at recess once, I sat in 'Blacks only.' Yard. Oh, I keep doing that.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "You'll need the warden's permission, and then you'll have to sponsor me for my furlough, and they probably won't let me on the float again, but that's just... Oh, God, it's still the parade, isn't it?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Well, it's either that, or I'm gonna start spewing it.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Half-man? Jon Cryer. Oh.", "c": ["Buster", "Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Oh, where are my glasses? Oh, they're right on top of my head, for God's sake.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.16, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "And honestly, if I wanted a hairless lover, I'd probably go underage rather than overage, you know? What's that? No, I mean, not that I would do it on purpose.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "What do you want me to do? You want me to shoot a kid? What kind of monster are you? I'm not sure how I became the monster there", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "I've always wanted to be a Keystone Cop. It would be my honor to wear this handlebar mustache in the 2nd of July parade.", "c": ["Actor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Good-bye to our teeth that make it look like I'm smiling so I don't have to.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "And you, I'll miss you most of all, neighbor's pain medication. I never even got the chance... Nah, I'll just take you with me.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Who knows where we get these ideas from, right? Well, you. I got that from you. It's always from you.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Thanks to your mother, I can't even feel your son on my lap.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Primos!", "c": ["Steve Holt"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Like how people think the world's melting because people drive cars, or that Hillary should continue to roam free.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Good-bye, Fox & Friends.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "I will be very surprised, though I may not look it.", "c": ["Sally Sitwell"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "It's on the second this year.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "I don't want to tell you what I had to give the warden to make that happen. I don't want to hear it.", "c": ["Lucille", "George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "I didn't want to get your hopes up, but I'm in Mexico and I have found Lindsay... to be very stubborn. Oh, damn it, I just did exactly what I said I wouldn't do.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Please tell me you prepared a few 'against her wills.'", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh. I do miss that wit, Mother. It's Mrs. Bluth. I wasn't joking.", "c": ["Tobias", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Murphybrown saw an armadillo, men held us up at gunpoint, and I got to dress up as an os...", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Nah, I love this place. I'll just tell him it's over, and kick him out.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "I'll give you 500 bucks cash for this youngin' right now.", "c": ["Employer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "My son is not for sale. Thanks, Dad.", "c": ["Tobias", "Murphy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Lindsay? - Tobias? - DeBrie? No, you were right the first time.", "c": ["Tobias", "DeBrie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "I've been pretending to be Lindsay the past few months, on account of Marky's face blind.", "c": ["DeBrie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "You should hear him: 'Oh, Lindsay, you've let yourself go.' 'Oh, Lindsay, why'd you stop showering?' 'You're missing some back teeth, there.' Yeah. Just like that.", "c": ["DeBrie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "What do you think of the new stair car? I had to make one, because yours disappeared.", "c": ["Sally Sitwell"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Well, you're no stranger to stuffing tissue places when you don't have the goods.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Oh, hello. What do you think of the new stair car? I had to make one, because yours disappeared.", "c": ["Sally Sitwell"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "The sun is nobody's friend.", "c": ["Sally Sitwell"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Is this because I accidentally choked Ron Howard? Because they already made me pay for that. They chopped your hand off? No, they just downgraded me to a manual.", "c": ["Buster", "Guard"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Are there dressing rooms for the talent?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Oh, well, at least Buster's being held. Which is more than he had as a child.", "c": ["Sally Sitwell"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "\u266a At a parade? \u266a \u266a ...ade. \u266a \u266a Being watching the parade. \u266a No. With the curb huggers? No.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, 'cause he'd be, like, 'This is the one place where I'm not embarrassed of my dream.' Hey, no. Never apologize for your dream.", "c": ["Murphybrown", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Who's Robbie? Oh. Yes, of course. You wouldn't know my brother.", "c": ["Tobias", "Son"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "This is, uh, Relucto, the apprehensive clown.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "How would you like to help me in a double-closet sexuality switch two-hander float illusion, no credit, no money? Oh, and you turn gay. I'll pass.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "No. Um, hey, how would you like to help me in a double-closet sexuality switch two-hander float illusion, no credit, no money? Oh, and you turn gay. - I'll pass.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "So you're saying nothing's worse than the sound of the dog screaming?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "So you're saying nothing's worse than the sound of the dog screaming? No, I just meant you're not a very good magician.", "c": ["Gob", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "It's gonna involve you being put into a small, confined space, and you come out gay. If that's a swipe about me being in prison, I understand it.", "c": ["Gob", "Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "It's gonna involve you being put into a small, confined space, and you come out gay. If that's a swipe about me being in prison, I understand it.", "c": ["Gob", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Oh, there's a dog.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Tobias, and if it isn't... what is it again? - LeTrasha? - Hello, again. Those last few teeth aren't going without a fight, are they?", "c": ["Lucille", "DeBrie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "The only acting this one's good at is feigning interest in her drug dealer's hobbies. You do see a lot of aquariums.", "c": ["Lucille", "DeBrie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Oh, God, no. I can't do this. T-This is... No, no, no. ...why I gave this up. DeBRIE: Shy. - No. No, you can. - No. - No, no, no. Shy. - You can't be this critical.", "c": ["DeBrie", "Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Let's all be perfectly still and see if we can hear them.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "You haven't needed a tissue since Nixon resigned.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "I did three years in prison because of Buster. - He can do a few weeks for me.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "He can do a few weeks for me.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "They will be neither seen nor heard next year.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "This is gonna be less humiliating.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Oh, you must be Buster's brother. Hop in. I am Buster's brother. Yes. Oh, so how can I help you? And please make sure to wave.", "c": ["Lottie Dottie", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Well, the magician seems to be just standing there, doing nothing. Ah... you get used to it.", "c": ["Announcer", "Spectator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Plus, there wasn't a fourth of May this year.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Oh, he's an attorney we were forced to use one year and he... I guess he likes them young.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "No, it's, uh, tainting each other's brand, but same dif. Dif. Same. - Same dif.", "c": ["Gob", "Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "And they said, 'No refundo.' And they speak English. They're-they're Mexican, but they are Romneys.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "She's a Muslim. She's disrespecting Muslims. She's a ghost. She's disrespecting ghosts.", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not proud of this, but we... we were wearing the Ron Howard/Brian Grazer wigs from the Imagine gift shop.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Ron and Brian Go to Mexico. Was the name of the game?", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "What were you playing... Ron and Brian? - Go to Mexico. - What's that? Ron and Brian Go to Mexico. Was the name of the game?", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "It's just not the only one. It's one of a bunch.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Help! Please! It's a higher priority emergency! Help! Oh, bullshit you didn't redo these floors. They look amazing.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Help! Please! We need a doctor! It's an emergency. Hi. It's us again. Help! Did you redo the floors here?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "I'm under the impression that if you're carried in they put you immediately on the morphine drip? - That's what we've been told before.", "c": ["DeBrie", "Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Premature Independence"}, {"t": "Why do we have to have a party every time someone in this family is released from prison? - Tradition.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Like that god-awful thing you used to make me do on your birthday. Cook?", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Not in front of the grandkids. I don't want them to know about the shady business scams - We lied to investors, so we have no product and we're two million dollars in debt.", "c": ["Lucille", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Oh, don't be ridiculous. My name isn't on anything.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Know what? I've never been attracted to handsome men. Ah.", "c": ["Rebel", "George Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "coding and, um... also programming", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "So stop having feelings for her. What? Is that something you can do with people?", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Yeah, once I learned how to do it with my parents, it was easy with everyone else. It's like a heart switch, you know? Click. I love you. Click. I love you not.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "No, but in my defense, I'm not a sociopath. Click.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Gob still had a very uncomfortable 'heart on' for his friend Tony", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Oh, who knows what makes a guy think he can pass for straight? I mean, if he really is gay, he can try to hide it, but trust me, it will come out in the most unexpected balls.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Uh... Excuse me, 'balls'? You realize you just said 'balls'? - But you said balls. - Oh, well that's three times I'm hearing balls now.", "c": ["George Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "That's the sign of a healthy business. It's closed in the middle of a Tuesday, and the owner's locked out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Of course, these are paid protestors that the magicians hired. Not real protestors, but that's kind of the norm now, isn't it?", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "David, you want Pop-Tarts for dinner? Mom, don't say my name!", "c": ["Mother", "David/Anonymous member"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "You bet your balls I can get you some Guy Fawkeses. Don't hold your balls. I would not hold my balls on that one.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Oh, speaking of maniacs, let's watch this again.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Well, it's not you!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Buster's in jail? My boy. My boy.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "He's got a lot of spunk. I like that on a guy.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "I'll go with you, and we will find our son together, and perhaps we will find each other along the way.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Just as I found my son, I lost him. And just as I lost my wife, I... I found my replacement wife, but then I... I lost her. I... I have nobody. Well, you got me, Dad. Not now, Maeby. I have... what? Like, one person. Click.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Maeby"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Well, you got me, Dad. Not now, Maeby. I have... what? Like, one person. Click.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Maeby"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "We forgot the debt. Basically, what we did was we absorbed everything, including you.", "c": ["Accountant"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Gob doesn't know that there's a B in the word 'debt.'", "c": ["Accountant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "It takes a lot out of me, but they like to look at me as the sticky white glue that holds the family together.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Roof balls! Jesus, quiet.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Oh, this isn't a real house. This is a model house. How long do we have to stay here? Just until I can support us on my actor salary. Oh... Quiet. You can be excited, but quietly.", "c": ["Tobias", "Murphybrown", "Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "I guess stuff does happen like this in real life.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. It's a fake hand. How can it hurt? No, it's a rental from prison, and Mother said my next hand... is gonna be out of my own pocket", "c": ["Oscar", "Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "What are you doing with the hose? Wha... No, I didn't know it was on. I mean, I would never purposefully run a car with the garage door closed with the family in crisis.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Okay. You know, Dad, this is an electric car. Oh. So, the only thing you're killing is my battery.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "K means thousand. Can you believe Adhir just expected me to know that? I must've told him K times, 'You gotta help me with these things.'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "I used to train dogs, so I'm very patient. - Good Gob. Good K.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "I used to train dogs, so I'm very patient. And $10,000 for a printer? - 10K. - Good Gob. Good K.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Hey, you want to spend a couple hundred bucks on a 3-D receipt, I'll have it printed and in your mouth before sunset.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "The Austero books are for British eyes only, as they say. \u266a For British eyes only \u266a", "c": ["Accountant"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "There's only room at this company for one copresident. What's next? You're gonna want one of my parking spaces, Michael?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Oh, well, Michael, don't worry, 'cause I already went there. \u266a Balls in the air... \u266a", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Would you be terribly offended if I offered you a candy? - I don't think Dad wanted me to see this. - I don't, either.", "c": ["Accountant", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "We got to face facts. They're stuck. These stick. They're stickers...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Maybe even burning the... well, midweek oil. I quit. I shouldn't have called it the easy choice.", "c": ["Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Outside, inside, outside, inside... Now, we cannot draw attention to ourselves. - I'm just a guy fixing a broken hand. - Right. And I'm... I'm just a guy who's wearing a blue hat. Nothing to see here, folks. Nothing to see.", "c": ["Oscar", "Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm like a kid in a candy shop. - No way. - I think I saw William Shatner wearing this while riding a bicycle once.", "c": ["Buster", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm like a kid in a candy shop. No way. I think I saw William Shatner wearing this while riding a bicycle once.", "c": ["Buster", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "It sort of reminds me of Mother's hand, except it's less veiny, and warmer.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "This is just as tough for you as it is for me. Tougher, maybe. Man without a king.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "You do know that Michael didn't fire you, you quit. - As any proud gay man would do in the face of such bigotry.", "c": ["Accountant", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Probably for being gay, too. You do know that Michael didn't fire you, you quit. As any proud gay man would do in the face of such bigotry.", "c": ["Gob", "Accountant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "You should've seen the look on his face when I do my impression of you. You know... What's the problem with Apu?", "c": ["Gob", "Accountant"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Oh, you're just mad 'cause you can't have a hamburger.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "I didn't understand a word you just said, little guy.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "You know Betty White has this same car? - You know Betty White? - We share a weed dealer.", "c": ["George Michael", "Rebel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "I don't mean the alkies, I mean the, uh, the guys who wear the creepy masks, hang out online. The Guy Fawkeses.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "You're taking me as a hostage in case the cops see us? Hey, guy, I wouldn't know about that. - We can pretend we're cousins. - Cousins?", "c": ["Stan Sitwell", "Oscar", "Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "You hired a bunch of foxy guys to protest me because I said I hated hot guys.", "c": ["Rebel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Fakeblock is so impressive. - Yeah. - I mean, Fakeblock's incredible. - Fakeblock is... - Yeah, Fakeblock is real. It's my place.", "c": ["George Michael", "Rebel", "Real tech entrepreneur"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Fakeblock is so impressive. - Yeah. - I mean, Fakeblock's incredible. - Fakeblock is... - Yeah, Fakeblock is real. It's my place.", "c": ["George Michael", "Rebel", "George Michael", "Rebel", "Maeby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "You took me for Chinese. The Italian place was the first time I caught you with your secretary, and you asked, 'How did you ever find me?' \u266a How did you ever find me? \u266a", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "I want you, Lucille. In what way, George? Sexually? Yes. Sexual-ish-ly.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Look, here's the deal. - I can't... get hard. I... - Live without me. It's really getting hard, uh, to live without you.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "He didn't say a word until we fired the wet nurse. He didn't stop talking about that for three years. - Until we caved.", "c": ["Lucille", "George Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Only because Michael drives an electric car. Trust me, the whole 'trying to kill yourself' thing, turn off.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "I don't call it that, I call it 'a cry for help,' but I think help has just arrived and it's saying, 'Cry for fun!'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Hurt people, hurt people.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Unexpected Company"}, {"t": "Inside, outside, inside, outside... - Who is this guy? - I don't know... inside... but I don't like the looks of him... outside...", "c": ["Oscar", "Buster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Tell him to off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, to F off, twinkle toes. Tell him to F off.", "c": ["Oscar", "Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Do you think they could be Anonymous, like Guy Fawkses? - Foxy guys.", "c": ["George Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "I fired her there on the spot. - So you fired the person in charge of... - Firing. Yes. So, you know, you fire the person in HR last.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "That's the lesson here. But, hey, this is how you learn in business, am I right?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "The minute I put the teeth in, I become... a completely different person.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "George Maharis can have a heart attack. - Maeby gets hit by a bus. - Killing off Maeby? - Yup, see you.", "c": ["George Michael", "Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "He's in the hospital, massive head injury. Free rent. New neighbors every six to eight months.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Annette, she like-a the pasta, hmm?", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Playing a game where I just throw the tennis ball against the wall and try and catch it. And then if I miss it, I... feel pretty bad and beat myself up, and then I kind of try and move past that and get back on the horse.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "\u266a Minor regression \u266a", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "That explains that toothbrush next to the warning sign. And you see how they spelled 'byte' without a y. - No, this is for dentists.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "This is why you have a billion-dollar software company and your old man has to hit 'popcorn' on the microwave any time I want to heat something up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "I had nine gummy bears wrapped in tinfoil here, and the tinfoil is still here, but, uh, I'm super confused. Do we have magic gummy bears that just get up and walk away?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "I thought you said you were the sticky white glue that this family sniffs together.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Yeah, you're good at that, Dad. You're good at leaving. It... It's kind of your thing, actually.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "I've been jammed with bigger things in tighter spots than this.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "No, you fuck... Oh!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "This is what we in the Bluth family call a 'Don't Tell Michael.'", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "She's smiling all the time, even when she sleeps.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Inside, outside. Inside, outside. Inside, outside. Outside. Inside, outside. - You blow our cover, and she's a goner. - Inside, outside.", "c": ["Oscar", "Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Have you ever noticed that dreams are hard to remember? There's one I can't forget. The dream of us working together.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "I'm convinced that in the break room, there's still an active chair.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "A little bit of TV, sure, and then a little kiss good night and off to bed. You know, I am just realizing that I'm still picturing you as a ten-year-old.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "I think I was trying to engineer a way to stay up late and watch The Tom Green Show.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Wet side, dry side, wet side, dry side, wet side, dry side...", "c": ["Oscar", "Buster"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "It's the perfect way to end a terrible relationship. - It's not terrible. It's... it's a great relationship. - Yes, but it won't be once you sell her a shitty company.", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Three times in one week. People are gonna start asking, you know, elderly abuse? Which apparently is a real thing.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Well, just one of the smaller ones. You won't even know it's being used. - ...because an actor's body is his instrument. - Come get my shower ready and then take over on the elliptical.", "c": ["Gob", "Tobias", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Turkey jerky, popcorn, and leftover Jeff. - Aw. There's no Linda left?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "\u266a 88 days and squatter's rights kick in \u266a", "c": ["Tobias", "Family"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Uh, yeah, e-mail, but this is g-mail. Down here on the third floor set it up for me, and then when we moved to the fourth, I was like, screw it, I'll just come down here to check it, 'cause I don't want wires going everywhere.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "You can use your phone for that. - Yeah, and I could use a pigeon. But for this particular task, I've chosen e-mail.", "c": ["George Michael", "Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "The only firm that's gotten back to me is the gang over at Mailer Daemon. Aw, damn it! God, missed him again.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "- I'll be damned, it is a he. - Who e-mails back... What? At Wednesday at nap?", "c": ["Maeby", "Gob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Powerful Gay Tastemakers? The Gay Mafia. - What? - That's the Gay Mafia. Surely you've heard of them.", "c": ["Gob", "George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Let me see what we have here. Yeah. See? Right here. You have to uncheck 'Presume Teeth.'", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "\u266a You're doin' fine, Oklahoma \u266a \u266a Oklahoma, O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A \u266a \u266a Oklahoma \u266a", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Sure, I guess it could get me off. - I mean, out.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "There'd be less gays that would suck the gays out. - No. - I mean, off.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "She was my sister. - My apologies. - Think I was shacking up with your sister. - Maybe he is gay.", "c": ["Austero", "Gob", "Gay Mafia Member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "You're gonna... tap-dance on my grave? Oh, hell, you saw the matinee. Out you go.", "c": ["Gob", "Gay Mafia"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "I don't know who he is. - Stupid day to take an Uber.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "I bet this place gets a lot quieter after dark. Also, we could always go to the food court. Oh, and maybe we can ask them to turn down the birds.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Taste Makers"}, {"t": "Well, stupider.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "My left, your right. Your left, my right. My right, your right. My right, my left.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Although, it is the only way to ride one of those... when you're chained to a guy.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Justin Be-Bear is seven... that was, like, seven years ago.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Drink-A-Juice and there's Paint-A-Plate and Build-A-Bear", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Now, admittedly, he's not 28 anymore, but... No, you're right.", "c": ["Lucille", "George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "But don't you think he would've smelled me by now? Oh, good point. Maybe the Popcorn Plantation is masking your scent.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Didn't I used to have one? Yes, but it was real.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Can you make one of those from a wallet photo?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, the speed of the printer made it very clear why Two Hour Teeth went out of business.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "You know, if you add water to the freeze-dried ground beef... it tastes just as good as any hamburger I've ever had underwater.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Shh. That was meant to last all week. Oh. Oh, duh.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "The leg chains are all mixed up with the bike chain.", "c": ["Hardware store clerk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Am I crazy, or am I smelling popcorn and Chanel No. 5 butter?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "These are stage manacles. We were in a play.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Have you guys even tried, uh, just unclamping? Are you kidding me? We didn't even check.", "c": ["Hardware clerk", "George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "That would've saved time when we were trying to get the pants over our heads.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "They're looking for two guys who are manacled together on the run. The Inside-Outside Bandits.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "I could sniff out Mother somehow, but she wouldn't want me. Maybe I'm better in prison. I'm no good on my own.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Inside. Outside. Inside.", "c": ["Buster", "Oscar"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "We didn't uncheck 'Make Background Tongue.' I mean, why do they even call it Two Hour Teeth?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Feels like we're outside. It feels like we're inside.", "c": ["Oscar", "Buster"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "You're looking at a boy who faked a coma for two weeks to get out of a spelling bee.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "That was to get out of testifying. No, that was a three-month coma.", "c": ["Buster", "Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "If something happens out there, and I get caught and I don't come back, I just want to tell you that... this... this... being with you has been... ah, it's been... I cherish it. My son.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "It makes you not even want to do business with a hostile nation.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "How much fun would that be? What are you, nuts?", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "They throw these in with the posters. Actually, he's not technically free. He still has to officially sign out from prison and pay their $75 process fee.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "I'm fighting against the competition. What, is she dating? No, I'm talking about Buster.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "And we're really bonding over this 'we miss our son' bullshit.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "What am I doing, apologizing to a mannequin that looks like... Buster?", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Seems like we were just celebrating the second of July. We're already talking about December 19.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "No, you have to be 55 and older. Well, that sounds like a challenge to any family that wasn't a ragtag troupe of folks whom I wish to become actors.", "c": ["Buster", "Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Have I asked before? Every month. Oh, no. That can't be right. Right. See? You always say 'right.'", "c": ["Stan", "Maeby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "No, they hadn't. In fact, this had only happened a few hours earlier.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "You also always say 'old man.'", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "A real lady lets it itch. She doesn't jam two fingers...", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Mrs. Featherbottom. Thank you for being a friend. I'm Bev. Traveled down a road and back again. And I'm Mrs. Bettywhite.", "c": ["Tobias", "Lindsay", "Maeby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "We're just three... 56-year-old women looking for a place to rest our weary asses.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "In the Chinese culture, a good marriage portends a good business relationship.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "I think I can eat a piece of fish without giving away how I loathe you.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "I helped her take down all your pictures.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Those steps are just for the feet of the Bay Boys. Get back in the ball, dude.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Oh, you served in Vietnam? Surfed. I surfed in Vietnam. Two group tours.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Dusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "We went for sushi last night, and he never touched his fork. Well, a little bit for the rice. It's the hard part. But not when the guy was looking.", "c": ["Lucille", "Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "If you think that I enjoy being put in the position of ridiculing you, intimidating you, emasculating you, you're wrong, little guy. Wrong.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "That doesn't look like a mouth to you?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "There's Chinese Romneys? No, the only Romneys are the Mexican Romneys. Well, and the regular Romneys.", "c": ["Michael", "George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "I wish her voice weren't so grating. Oh, that voice! Shrillary.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "God, who even remembers now? Saddam Hussein.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "It said, 'Welcome Home From Prison Again, Buster.' I mean, it's like, did they expect me to come home from prison?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "A guy could have a mighty nice life up here. Do you... You want us to die here together?", "c": ["Oscar", "Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Impossible. You weren't even a wanted child.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "If... you help me get rid of this big, dead-body-shaped thing. What is it? I just told you, it's...", "c": ["Gob", "Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "My name is Gob Bluth. I'm here for a 12:30 un-gaying.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Yeah. Boy, wish I could pray that sweater away.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. I... I noticed there's a blood-like substance back there. But that's a tomorrow job. That's for the daytime.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Chain Migration"}, {"t": "Oscar and his son both confess they knew they weren't fugitives but pretended to be to spend time together", "c": ["Oscar", "George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Oscar's three activity choices are all variations of staying inside: 'lay down inside, get scared of the dark inside, or play hide-and-go-seek inside'", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Oscar's ultimatum: 'it's me or the weed'", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Oscar saying 'Outside, outside, outside...' repeatedly", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Sr.: 'You have burned so many phones talking to us'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Sr.: 'Hey, is this music to you guys? I mean, do you really hear this as music?'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["observational", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Sr.: 'We did not expect you to know that.'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Sr.: 'Well, but, the banks are closed, you know, tomorrow being the seventh.'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Sr.: 'The doctors give him three months to...' then immediately: 'We spent all your money.'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Sr.: 'Uh, not the regular ones; the Mexican Romneys.'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Sr.'s escalating confessions: 'And I think she's a surfer, and I can't get hard.'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Chinese investor: 'That is more than enough honesty.'", "c": ["Chinese Investor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Chinese investor: 'Oh, noodle stab. I mean...'", "c": ["Chinese Investor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Sr.: 'Three million dollars. I mean, that gets... gets rid of a lot of... lot of shame. I mean, there would still be shame.'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "The Chinese investors' unexpected offer of money to help the Bluths 'save face' after their confession", "c": ["Chinese investors"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Michael: 'Whoops! Force of habit.' when getting off on his son's floor", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Gob: 'Did somebody wonder if somebody else made Gob the president? I wonder.'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Michael: 'Catchphrase could use some pruning.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Employee confusion about George Michael vs George Maharis identity, leading to 'He's a singer, I think. Like, a gay one.'", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Employee: 'Once you're gay, you're gay, Michael! God, Michael's so stupid. Everybody's gonna see.'", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Michael: 'No, I keep getting Catwoman.' when asked about getting an intern", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Michael finds George Michael was paid as 'Payment of two drums of dried George Michael' - 'A cocoa-based, non-digestive colorant'", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Discovery that the check is from the Cayman Islands, not the banana stand", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Dusty: 'Dusty's an expert on Orient... Uh... Asian inscrutability.'", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Sr.: 'I lost this face when I was 65.'", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Dusty: 'You said we'd get ice cream.'", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Stan: 'Stan, turn down Wayne Brady!' 'I surely couldn't.'", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "DeBrie: 'I just wanted to get out of doing things like Straightbait.'", "c": ["DeBrie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "DeBrie: 'I just couldn't do another group scene, but I love staying at Tent City.'", "c": ["DeBrie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Tobias to Maeby: 'Cause you're rather quite attractive for an older lady.' Narrator: 'That is your half-sister.'", "c": ["Tobias", "Narrator"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Tobias: 'Does she have, like, a half-daughter?'", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Michael: 'That's gotta be from South Park.' about the banana stand money catchphrase", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "'That's gotta be from South Park'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Gob: 'Exactly to not answer these questions.' about hiring a president", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Michael's motivational speech turning knots in stomach into 'why-nots'", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Employee: 'Well, we can't let him get away with this. Well, why not?' turning the motivational phrase against George Michael", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Michael: 'some guy who's obviously incredibly rich and has $3 million to drop on a .wav file that's just the sound of a piece of wood'", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Lucille: 'It was like the opposite of Pinocchio. I swear, I think my nose got smaller.'", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "George Sr.: 'Well, wouldn't have been the first time.' responding to Lucille's nose comment", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Michael's B.S. Enterprises explanation: 'It was 'Banana Stand,' but it's also got a second meaning. Bullshit. Bluth and Son.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Gob introducing Oscar: 'Please say hello to my new right-hand man!' while Oscar only has his left hand", "c": ["Gob", "Oscar"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Gob: 'if somebody's willing to spend 3KK on my company, might be able to spread wealth on myself'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Lindsay: 'Steve McQueen from The Great Escape.' as greeting to Buster", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Gob: 'Is this because I'm still gay? 'Cause the conversion didn't take?' when Hot Cops arrive", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "Gob: 'Leave a message for Hot Cops! How'd you like to make a fifth of a K?' thinking he hired them", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "'How'd you like to make a fifth of a K?' on Gob's voicemail", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Check Mates"}, {"t": "I never should have done Lindsay first. Lindsay's having a widening spurt.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "I think Buster was actually talking about Mom.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. No, uh... I thought... you were talking about recent... Yes, thank you. Yes, she is, uh... She is quite the beauty.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Well, that's the downside of having a mother who never ages.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "It must be something in these cigarettes.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "I'm sure you'll all be thin by Thursday, Lindsay.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "It's not a dog collar. It's Buster's Gentleman Collar.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Yeah, I barely know it's... Well, he's grown a little.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "You bought me a dorky, lame, stupid, gay magic kit?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "So I named it after her: Lucille Ball.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Take that back! You take that back! We're normal! We're normal!", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Okay. Down, down. Easy, Buster. Easy, boy. Sit.", "c": ["Family members"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "I've never even got my suit wet from the outside.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Back to whence it came.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "This is what happens when you're rich and white in America.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "but it's nice he's giving the help the night off.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Tomorrow... No, I guess it'll stop today. Today's the last day.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "And really, we're just asking this Asian gentleman and his wife...? To move over to that group of chairs there, freeing up the end seat, which I would love to take a shot at sitting in.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "I can't spend any time with anybody under 25. About Buster.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Son of a bitch!", "c": ["Eddie Cantrow"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "In fairness to him, it had taken him a super long time to get a decent parking spot that he didn't have to walk, like, a mile from.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Poker face.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Even though they do say, in most cases, something happens in childhood and, usually, the person that raises them is to blame. But that's experts.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Don't you try to pin this on Lupe. She had her own family to raise, too.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Then I should be its ringmaster.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "As you see, it's latex, so it can go right up your ass.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "raised by a young mother who had him at 17, whose only flaw was that... she loved him... too much. Actually, I was 37.", "c": ["Tobias", "Lucille"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "They're threatening our feet?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "You don't think these Chinese would first try to, I don't know, ding your credit rating? It's their culture.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Right. With him, you knew where you stood. Or... Or couldn't.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "This is why we never told you about the beach house, Michael. Uh, can I add something? This is why we never told you about the beach house.", "c": ["George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "I mean, Jesus Christ, $7,000 to find out that Ann Veal had nothing to do with Buster's case?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "A little.", "c": ["Rebel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "A foot. They're threatening our feet? Is it a foot now? They shortened it.", "c": ["George Michael", "Michael", "George Sr."], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Well, not 'chop, chop,' not... That's a bad choice of words. For Christ's sake.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Exactly, and everyone knows the workday doesn't start until nine to five.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "future rapists.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "My name is Gob Bluth, and as president of Fakeblock, I have an announcement! I'm building a wall!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Yup. This is how it ended for the honeybee, as well.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "You're fired. Yup. This is how it ended for the honeybee, as well.", "c": ["George Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "Guys, guys, guys, this fits with the fact that he can't walk. And has been carried everywhere he went, damn it. Which means what, G-Man? He couldn't have committed this crime. In any way.", "c": ["Guilty Guys"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Untethered Sole"}, {"t": "A little more Magnum, PI, a little less Higgins.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Is that Stan Sitwell's eyebrow?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Get that off your face, you horse's ass.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm just turning 14. And Michael is, too, because they're twins.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "I'm Gob. Uh... Why did you name him that?", "c": ["Gob", "Lucille Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Oh, please, you were never little. Your mother was never little.", "c": ["Lucille Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "They didn't have one with a boy doing push-ups.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Jack dumped me. He says he wants to start a clean slate on his 80th birthday.", "c": ["Lucille Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "My God, when he was three years old, you still had him on a leash! I said, 'She's gonna make a murderer out of that one.'", "c": ["Lucille Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Never too early to get Buster used to being in front of a judge.", "c": ["Lucille Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm Chuck's son. No. You're little CJ?", "c": ["CJ", "George Sr.", "Lucille"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "I'm growing dreads, Mother. Dreads right out of my head.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Just because you have an African-American left hand, all of a sudden you're Ray Charles?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "And I thought you Alibabaed one that was less... threatening.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "The so-called Guilty Guys were a law firm whose record was so unblemished... they'd even been the subject of a reality show.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "The project, which was to show a single case over the span of a season... was abandoned early on by Netflix as not being binge-worthy.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "I'm gonna try and get a selfie with the G-Man.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "They're going to be mildly displeased.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "George Michael felt bulldozed by the announcement.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Mum's the word for 'severed human foot' in Chinese.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Mine's chained to a bench. So, in that sense, he's an overachiever.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "It was hard for anyone not to get caught up in the pageantry.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Your Honor, in the case of The State of California v. Buster Bluth, we'd like to enter a plea of... guilty.", "c": ["Guilty Guys"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Look at that. There is always a guy who wants to know what's going on. It's why I could never go to the movies with my father.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "They've never technically won a case... but they've never lost a fee.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "she called for a mistrial", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "I'm out of context again, aren't I?", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Yeah, we had to do some crazy vote-out thing where he... he forgot how voting worked. He voted for himself.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "You sound just like a slightly self-aware Aunt Lindsay.", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Well, you sound just like a minimally-woke Uncle Michael.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "But, hey, maybe you can get those dumb attorneys from that short Netflix show that's not on the air anymore. They canceled that?", "c": ["Maeby", "George Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "They canceled that?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "those dumb attorneys from that short Netflix show that's not on the air anymore", "c": ["Maeby"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Well, maybe, like, babies, but that's weird, because who likes babies?", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Right. That's why I chose the word 'weird.'", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "It's Lucille Austero. I've been looking for you. I know you haven't forgotten...", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "I just wasted an hour and a half working on an opening joke, till I realized that it's from Fast and Furious. It doesn't even work unless you're in a Camaro.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "I... I'm talking about Buster.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "I hate him! I hope he loses! I'm going to my fort!", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Hey! Locals only, brosef. Turista non grata, dude.", "c": ["Surfer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Huh. That doesn't necessarily mean yours has to take the night off.", "c": ["George Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Three guesses what she did to get on two.", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "How rich is this sand hobo?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "You've taken all the fun out of the worst part of life.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Saving For Arraignment Day"}, {"t": "Look who thinks they can wear white.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Well, frankly, it's hard to think about it over the sound of... Was there a cat in here?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "That was my singing. That's my talent.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Most people close their eyes when they plug their ears.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I can see that you're talking, but I just... I'm not a lip-reader.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Maybe it'll be better if you don't win this one. And you wouldn't be losing much, just a cruise with your grandmother.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "My plan. I took Buster off his leash, and I brought him down to the beach. Don't worry, I told him how to swim.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "That was a freebie.", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "But where did the confetti come from? From Michael's hat. Honestly, these are so easy.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Abra... cadaver.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Honestly, I don't know how Tap-Dancing Ghost doesn't take the whole thing.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Oh, spirit of this dead bird, fly into my dead brother!", "c": ["GOB"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "And as much juice as you want tonight. Tonight, you get juice.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I mean, I've cheated on you a thousand times. I mean, almost makes up for the permanent damage you did to my endocrine system.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "What a [BLEEP] day! Sorry. Just... I heard my... my dad's in the hospital.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "You cut your hair. Eh. Yeah.", "c": ["Lottie", "Dusty"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Burn. It's just that my mother's name is Lucille as well, so the... the burn was on her.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I'll allow the burn.", "c": ["Judge Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "If you find that funny, wait till you hear the defense's opening argument.", "c": ["Lottie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Uh, I... I didn't know about the videotape. So, I mean, what... You can just see he... he's throwing the body right off the cliff, so everyone's like, 'Uh...' 'I mean, what else could it be?'", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I'm feeling like people are judging me, and it's just not making me feel that great.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Oh, it's so dark in here. Hello? I can hear you breathing. Oh, so you did know I was coming. Good for you, getting a head start.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Stepmom.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Please. I've known you since you were 30!", "c": ["Lottie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Hell yeah. Let's get the hug on.", "c": ["Judge Stanley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "What a [BLEEP] baby! Shut up, murderer!", "c": ["Gallery"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Nah. I mean, she's a little old for me, don't you think? She's, like... your age.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Fifty-six and a half.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Not gonna let that ruin my recess.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, he's a motherboy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Just that I only ever seem to create or attract them.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "My bad!", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I don't think that I have heard you apologize since, um, uh, since people used to use that phrase to apologize.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "It occurs to me that he may not come back from recess unless he hears a bell. I'll get him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I could play Buster with one arm tied behind my back. In fact, I've played Buster with two arms tied behind my back. I was handcuffed.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I could play Buster with one arm tied behind my back. In fact, I've played Buster with two arms tied behind my back. I was handcuffed.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "It was Cinco... de Cuatro!", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I've got a show to do in ten minutes, and I haven't got a Thing to wear... this Thing suit.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "You're a monster. You don't have to be any good.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "And perhaps I'll do it in an English accent! Nay, nay, I shan't. I shall stick to the script. Not script. Nope. V\u00e9rit\u00e9. I have taken the note... v\u00e9rit\u00e9.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Damn it! I just... need somewhere to s... All right, well, gentlemen, thank you so much for your time. And I will be seeing you.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Actually, I thought I'd find my maritime law diploma. You know, as proof that I passed what they call the 'wet bar.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "You dated my girlfriend. You moved into my dorm room. You bought my business.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I cannot even get past the logo, so you're close.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "She's not over me? No, Fakeblock. It's fake.", "c": ["Michael", "George Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "It does explain why Pemender from Kuala Lumpur keeps signing into my LinkedIn.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Gene Parmesan? Doesn't seem like he's here. That's impossible. He's a private detective. He'd never be late. Well, has anyone checked under the... new bailiff?", "c": ["Lottie", "Lucille"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Gene Parmesan. [SHRIEKS] Gene! That never gets old!", "c": ["Gene", "Lucille"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "You know, mostly Kool-Aid.", "c": ["Gene"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I'm the judge.", "c": ["Judge Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "'Cause it was me.", "c": ["Gene"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "She blew our cover.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm no Harvey Weinstein, but I'm sure I could produce one.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "But what he's basically saying is, nobody wants to be naked underneath their underwear. So, one adds an extra layer of protection. It doesn't have to be denim, per se, but everybody wants to hide their privates from something. Not everybody.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Lucille Bluth, of course, of course.", "c": ["Warden Gentles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Well, all seals can come loose with a little bit of... Gentles' pressuring.", "c": ["Warden Gentles"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I am almost 14, and you have been mistreating me. Oh... You go to your room. How dare you? We both know that child is about to turn 18.", "c": ["Young Buster", "Young Lucille", "Mimi"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I'm not just saying this to suck up to Ron Howard, but I think we nailed it.", "c": ["Warden Gentles"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "I mean, was that an option? Because you did almost kill my dad.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Well, this is Fakeblock. You made Fakeblock.", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Hey, do you want to see Ben Affleck's peen?", "c": ["Murphybrown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Courting Disasters"}, {"t": "Mistrial! Mistrial! Yes, yes, I missed your trial!", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Well, had I known that she was talking about Lindsay, I would have been, like, 'Goodbye, Felicia.'", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "I did, but nothing's gonna happen to me 'cause I'm just a boy.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Lottie. She's so mean. I wish I could shove her down the st... Hey! Shh!", "c": ["Buster", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "No touching! Or touching. Yeah, feel it. It's a rental.", "c": ["Michael", "Dusty"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "body-shaped thing... It's from a magician.", "c": ["Gob", "Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "He's gonna have to stay gay. Gob assumed he'd been ghosted.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "We know you're as straight as an Oklahoma highway.", "c": ["Gay Mafia"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Then we'll let you age out.", "c": ["Argyle"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Mm-hmm. Yeah, I saw A Few Good Men, too. But Dusty's the real deal. Sorry, Michael. Game recognizes game.", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "She asked you to get rid of family memories? Why? Is that weird? It's just that, typically, the drinking does that.", "c": ["Michael", "Dusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Mother, I'm going to open the box! Mom's not here, so it turns out she's not as all-powerful as I think she is.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "I know which one I would watch with a gun to my head. Not the hi-res.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Awesome. '82 was awesome. Good year.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "These are three-quarter-inch, Michael. This is not a TV station in the '70s.", "c": ["Dusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "But, fortunately, Michael knew someone at a news station in his 70s.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Could you really enjoy your freedom, knowing that you hurt my career?", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "And violate magician-assistant privilege? Not an option!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "I don't know. I'll use Adhir. But if you are acquitted, we can start as soon as next week, 'cause I got a big illusion planned.", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "They were two tough guys right out of Guys and Dolls, a play they were in the middle of a very successful four-week run of at a local community theater.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Reminds me of how Hanks walked around like Jim Lovell for a year.", "c": ["Gay Mafia member"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Well, cis male, high butch. Gob had learned a lot in the short time he'd been magically gay.", "c": ["Gob", "Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Well, John, you used our house for To Entrap a Local Predator. That's it. You were one of our super creeps.", "c": ["John Beard", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Objection. Is this going somewhere? Yeah, that's what I wanted to find out.", "c": ["Lottie", "Dusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "I'll allow it. I won't allow that. That's... Sustained. That's... That's fine. That's fair.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "You know, he just... he was just so good at acting like, 'Where'd she go? What happened to her? She just... She vanished.'", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Doctor-to-be, Tobias F\u00fcnke. Subject, who is now in a deep hypnotic state, and this is my doctoral research material on memory suppression.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Give him some juice, please.", "c": ["Young Buster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Juice, please! What really happened is your mother pushed Mimi down the stairs. But what do we tell the police? Mother pushed Mimi down the stairs. No, no, no, no. Please remove the juice, please!", "c": ["Tobias", "Young Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "I did it, but nothing's gonna happen to me 'cause I'm just a boy. Can you say it again? ...but nothing's gonna happen to me 'cause I'm a boy. I wish I hadn't finished that juice.", "c": ["Young Buster", "Lucille"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "A Few Good Men. Great movie. But first, I got to wash the pile... Sure. Take your time.", "c": ["John Beard", "Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Interesting, huh? Hers were a lot easier than his.", "c": ["Lottie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Oh, that'll be great timing, because I've been drinking this free court water. Does the prosecution have any objections? I need a break. Oh, let him go. Oh, he worked through recess.", "c": ["Dusty", "Lottie", "Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "I think you mean 'the accused's mother.' Oh, what did I say?", "c": ["Judge", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Look at you, milking this for every moment. Isn't this classic Michael? We make fun of him all the time. Right, Gob?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "are you going for one of your Few Good Men moments?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Oh, God, are you going for one of your Few Good Men moments?", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "You're goddamn right I did!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "You're goddamn right I did! And that's how Michael A Few Good Men-ed himself.", "c": ["Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Nice humblebrag.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "It was a stunningly dramatic twist, a real Making of a Monster-type moment.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Two brothers can't be charged for the same crime. Well, I hate to say it, but you may have been getting better advice from Barry.", "c": ["Dusty", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Never say that! Gob is the worst. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.", "c": ["Lucille", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "People with liberal-tardation.", "c": ["Lucille"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Oh, the protesters. I don't know who let these libtards in here. I beg your pardon? People with liberal-tardation.", "c": ["Lucille", "Sally Sitwell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "What do we want? No wall! When do we want it? We don't? That doesn't... Go limp! Go limp! Go... No, no, no, no. You... You look like you're at a Walking Dead convention. No, limp, like, uh, flaccid. Unerect.", "c": ["Protesters", "Tobias"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Three dollars an hour and a copy of the news footage for my reel.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "I wear the horns of a cuckold. That's why you don't put your girlfriend in the same sleeping bag with your son. But I'm not gonna let him share mine. I like to spread my legs. Apparently, so does DeBrie.", "c": ["Tobias"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Today, in these plywood forms, 10,000 pounds of wet, gay, QuickHard cement will be poured, because if we build it, they won't come!", "c": ["Gob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "How does it feel to be accused of murder? It was a lot of work, but I didn't do it! They found me not guilty. Well, it was a mistrial, so they found you not not guilty.", "c": ["Reporter", "Buster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "We have a word for this in Chinese. It means a combination of embarrassment and obligation. We need a word like that.", "c": ["Chinese investor", "George Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Howard you like me now, Dad? Howard you like me now?", "c": ["George Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "You could both use a hit. I'm sorry. As did Michael.", "c": ["George Michael", "Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "My God, they're such a bunch of drama thugs. Well, I might not have been dead, but my career was. I was doing three shows a day in Branson in the, uh, Yakov Smirnoff Theater. What's he like? Disappointing.", "c": ["Tony Wonder", "Gob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "they're such a bunch of drama thugs.", "c": ["Tony Wonder"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "You're too chicken for that. You're the chicken, and not a spring one. How dare you say that to me! Chick-chick. Chick-chick-chick.", "c": ["Lucille 2", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "According to the succeeding New York Times, Donald Trump doesn't even have a... a chance of winning that election. Oh, I don't know, don't count out his likability.", "c": ["Michael", "Lucille"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Lucille 2 is your mother? Mimi. Not Lucille 2. Oh, right. That is who I pushed down the stairs.", "c": ["Maeby", "Lindsay", "Buster"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Hey, gang, does Buster's mannequin look like... Judy Garland. Is it Lucille 2? Why is she smiling? This isn't a mannequin. This is... the happiest corpse I've ever seen.", "c": ["Various"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Okay, I did it. So... But doesn't she remind you of Mom?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Okay, I did it. So...", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "But doesn't she remind you of Mom?", "c": ["Buster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Arrested Development", "ss": "arrested-development", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Fallout"}, {"t": "Dean struggling with the video recording equipment, needing help from his mother to turn it off", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Dean's brutal honesty about community college: 'loser college for remedial teens, 20-something dropouts, middle-age divorcees, and old people keeping their minds active as they circle the drain of eternity'", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Abed's rapid-fire oversharing about his half-Arabic identity and parents' dysfunctional relationship", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Dean realizes middle card of speech is missing and asks everyone to look around", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Jeff: 'nice to know you and then meet you in that order'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Abed's encyclopedic knowledge of Britta from minimal interaction", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Jeff: 'I see your value now' / Abed: 'that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me'", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'Genius at law' / 'you got to stop saying that' / 'i will never do that'", "c": ["Duncan", "Jeff"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I still cannot figure out how you gonna join September the 11th with my DUI", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Jeff's fake degree revelation: 'now i have to get one from america' / 'and it can't be an email attachment'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Duncan's chalupa story - ordering food from emergency call box during DUI", "c": ["Duncan", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Duncan: 'I do love America, I do love it, very much. I love chalupas.'", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Jeff: 'if i wanted to learn something, I wouldn't have come to community college'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Britta: 'the guy who's playing bejeweled on his iphone all class has a study group?'", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'Um, can i sign up twice?'", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Jeff calling himself 'Jefe' (boss) and the mistranslation of 'Un po' di piu' as 'See you there'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Jeff's racial assumption about the cafeteria worker and 'cosmic mentor' comment", "c": ["Jeff", "Cafeteria Worker"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I was raised on TV and I was conditioned to believe that every black woman over 50 is a cosmic mentor", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'It's Seinfeld' correction", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Britta: 'that's not small talk?' / Jeff: 'what's your deal and is god dead?'", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You'd be surprised what gets back to these guys", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Britta's backstory including dropping out to impress Radiohead", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'Marry me.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Jeff's honest dishonesty: 'I would say anything to get what i want. And i want you to like me'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Abed: 'Cool, cool, cool' repeated", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Abed reading the 'say you have to pee' text message literally and mechanically", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Abed: 'You look like Elisabeth Shue'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Jeff's moral relativism speech ending with 'So either i'm god or truth is relative. And in either case, booyah.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You're trying to use reverse psychology on a psychologist? / No, I'm just using regular psychology on a spineless British twit", "c": ["Duncan", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Pierce: 'that means you do my homework, right, Seacrest?'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'slumdog millionaire over here' / 'that's borderline racist, i think'", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Britta: 'they're filtered, so that makes them safe'", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.34, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Pierce's introductions: 'brittles' / 'Abed the arab' / 'roy the wonder boy' / 'little princess elizabeth'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Pierce's terrible name introductions (Brittles, Roy, Princess Elizabeth)", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Annie: 'Being younger does not make me inferior. If anything, your age indicates that you've made bad life decisions.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Being younger does not make me inferior. If anything, your age indicates that you've made bad life decisions", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Shirley's jukebox threat: 'they get the back of they head grabbed and their face pushed through jukeboxes'", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Pierce: 'Why would i harass somebody who turns me on?'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Annie/Troy revelation: 'little Annie Adderall' / 'lost his scholarship by dislocating both shoulders in a keg stand'", "c": ["Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You're that girl that got hooked on pills and then dropped out. You're little Annie 'Adderall'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Troy: 'Keg flip. They're very hard to pull off. You don't know-- I'm a legend.'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Abed's Breakfast Club quote: 'You know what I got for Christmas? It was a banner year at the Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes...'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'Nobody puts baby in the corner. Dirty Dancing.'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Duncan wanting Jeff's Lexus for test answers and ball warmers comment", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'bluffs this weak are how your people lost the colonies'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'Yeah, so is wiping your butt with a leaf, but it's not how a man gets around!' about the golf cart", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'Why can't you see that for the compliment that it is?' about manipulation", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'I am the Barack Obama of this room'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'We're the only species on Earth that observes Shark Week. Sharks don't even observe Shark Week, but we do.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "The pencil named Steve bit and 'part of you dies just a little bit on the inside'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'we can give Ben Affleck an Academy Award for Screenwriting' / 'Big mistake'", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Jeff's descriptions of each character culminating in 'Abed is better'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Abed's a shaman. You ask him to pass the salt, he gives you a bowl of soup, because you know what? Soup is better. Abed is better", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Abed's meta commentary: 'This isn't like Breakfast Club anymore. Now it's like Stripes or Meatballs. Anything with Bill Murray, really.'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "This isn't like Breakfast Club anymore. Now it's like Stripes or Meatballs. Anything with Bill Murray, really", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'you're more like Michael Douglas in any of his films' / 'Well, you have Asperger's'", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Pierce's mispronunciation: 'Ass-burger' and 'Burger for your ass'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.73, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Duncan: 'I've been divorced seven times. Sometimes, I think I'm doing something wrong.' / Jeff: 'You keep getting married.'", "c": ["Duncan", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Jeff's jacket philosophy: 'You lose the jacket to please them, you keep it to piss them off, Either way It's for them. That's what's weak.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You just wrinkled my brain, man", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'the funny thing about being smart is that you can get through most of life without ever having to do any work'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'I see your value now' callback", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Whoever is growing a small cannabis plot behind the gymnasium, congratulations. You just won a cruise. Please report to Security to collect your tickets.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Campus news: the debate continues about the Library's PA system. Some students suggest lowering the volume, while others question its purpose entirely. We'll expand on this as it continues.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "I like it, makes every 10 minutes feel like the beginning of a TV series. The illusion only lasts until someone says something they'd never say on TV, like how much their life resembles TV. There goes everything.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "\u00a1Vamos! No uses esa palabra frente a Abed.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Come on! Don't use that word in front of Abed.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "I hope your mom didn't make you bathe together because one of you would be 30.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Probably Jeff is late to avoid having to deal with your retardation.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Maybe you skipped a column. What's happening in Guatemala? - Nothing. - Are they killing journalists?", "c": ["Unknown", "Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Real stories... don't have spoilers. Do you understand that TV and real life are different, right?", "c": ["Unknown", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "My Lady. - My Lord. - Hello baby. - Hello sweetness. - You smell good. Vitamin P. - Good day, Jeffrey.", "c": ["Jeff", "Study Group"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "I never have anything to share. I swear my life is emptier than this filing cabinet.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "What does someone have to do to get a 'C' around here?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "if you interpret 'grandchildren' as a metaphor for 'friendship', you'll agree with that Transformer over there that it's time for me to become a man. - Reading the Torah.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "She said I was cute.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "I'm not really a sausage-fest kind of guy. Maybe some other time. - Raincheck.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "T\u00fa eres como Jodie Foster o Susan Sarandon. / Mejor que sea real a que sea lindo.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "like building a wall that can be seen from space.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "In Spanish, my nickname is... [long pause] ...because my wisdom could devour you!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "So don't question Mr. Chang or he'll bite you. Yes, I'll bite you. Yes, I bite!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Do you understand, 'Star Burns'?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "I've been eyeing it since day one when we registered. - Okay. Give me your card. - I want to put it on now.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "You know what? I did trade cards. Can you believe it? What are the odds?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Can you believe it? / Not really. But you do, so that's fine.", "c": ["Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Do you think I'm garbage?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Just look at her name. What is she, a water filter?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Even better, before we do that, why don't we ask ourselves... what is a story? / Oh my God in Heaven.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "I don't do anything. What can I do? You can hang the Chacata-Panecos pi\u00f1ata. You're aware they beat him to death, right? That's where we got the idea. It's touching.", "c": ["Britta", "Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "We have something incredibly long, and very confusing and a little bit homophobic. And really, really, specifically, surprisingly and gratuitously critical of Israel. It's called 'two conquistadores', probably should be 'dos'. I mean, it's a Spanish class.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Why does everyone have tape on their mouth? It's a protest, Pierce. Good. Because I know what I'd like to protest... How much you offended me.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "I'll show you some sperm, buddy.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Pierce, what we've created... is bigger than both of us, and it deserves to be done well.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Why are there costumes? These are short dialogues, you're not supposed to... - Leave you breathless? Well, it will.", "c": ["Chang", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "'F'. 'F' para abajo. \u00bfQu\u00e9? \u00bfAcaso dijo 'S'?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "You have that thing you do with your face when you're trying to be funny that makes people think about how cool you think you are.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Spanish 101"}, {"t": "Do you like dane cook? / yeah, he's awesome. / so far so good.", "c": ["Jeff", "Student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "Now...close them and throw them away. Throw it away! [laughs] Throw it away!", "c": ["Professor Whitman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "You, that mole is raised and dark. It's not a good combo.", "c": ["Professor Whitman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "Voice command! [beep] / would you please use the buttons? / okay, grandpa.", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "[high-pitched sneeze] / oh, god bless you, dear. [laughter] / what's so funny?", "c": ["Troy", "Shirley", "Group"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "Troy's high-pitched sneeze followed by laughter", "c": ["Troy", "Group"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "9/11 was pretty much the 9/11 of the falafel business.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "then he should see aladdin. jafar was a bad-ass. / yes, he was.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "They're not as understanding as christians. You can get your head cut off with a salami sword.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "That's the most racist thing i've ever heard. / pierce will beat that in one minute. [watch beeps]", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "hey, troy sneezes like a girl. / and how about i pound you like a boy? That didn't come out right.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "you're not my mother. / she's not? / 29 seconds.", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "because i wasted 15 years of my life on a man Who left me with nothing but stretch marks And a foggy memory of two bland orgasms.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "Why did the pretty young girl die alone surrounded by sweater-wearing cats Who are trained to use human toilets?", "c": ["Professor Whitman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "[desk collapses] - ooh! ooh! oh, heaven. My.", "c": ["Annie", "Professor Whitman"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "oh, yeah. his name's pierce. I-i can talk to him for you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "I-i love you. Oh, there's one down. nine to go.", "c": ["Jeff", "Professor Whitman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "This is no way to teach accounting!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "it is not fair how hard it is for you to cheat here.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "They're like real movies, but with ugly people.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "holy...war.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "where do i find mr. britta? / i'm mr. britta. That's right. i'm a woman with rights. And you can see my whole face.", "c": ["Abed's Dad", "Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "Because i'm arab, i must hate women. Let me tell you something, i love women. But i'm getting a major b-word vibe from you.", "c": ["Abed's Dad"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "dreams are for sleeping. / you don't know that. / it's clinically proven. / so's polio.", "c": ["Abed's Dad", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "you lost me!", "c": ["Abed's Dad"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "i don't think i'm really in the scene.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "Why are you dressed like an '80s rapist?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "um, all money is spending money.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "Bet that doesn't happen to you a lot. / happened yesterday.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "hillary, thank you for getting people coffee. I love you.", "c": ["Jeff", "Background character"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "boo. an ordinary coffee for an ordinary life.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "shazbot!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "You look like a high school bitch.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "i've seen men in your situation, troy. No, those are both for me.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "[deafening sneeze] [shouts incoherently]", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "And maybe i wouldn't sneeze because i'm in control.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "Watch the kite. uh-oh. Mind if i get a chance? oh! Look at this. one foot. [laughing]", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "sloppy. And considering the age of these girls, Unwittingly creepy.", "c": ["Professor Whitman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "How long does it take you in the morning To--to make it look like you have bed head?", "c": ["Professor Whitman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "How many sweat pants, sport jacket combos did you try Before you found the one that said 'i don't care'?", "c": ["Professor Whitman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "every time i try to ask him about it, He just keeps filming me and telling me That i'm playing the role of his mother.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "abed is not normal. That's what you bought When you intentionally tangled yourself in his life.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "What in the hell? Is he gonna kill us?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "All i want to do is take care of you. Why won't you answer me? / 'cause this is the scene where you leave.", "c": ["Britta", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "someone order seven lattes? / i got that. / no, you don't got it. I got it, abed. i got everything.", "c": ["Server", "Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "i think you are really weird, abed. And i think the wrong person just left.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "perfect. that's a wrap.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "everyone should always do whatever they want and leave each other out of it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "You and your pillow-lipped girlfriend Got all up in my stuff because you wanted to be cowboys", "c": ["Abed's Dad"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "hadn't seen the iraq metaphor, but-- / what iraq metaphor? I am talking about your speeches And her guided--", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed's Dad"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "i don't want to be your father. / i think you are weird, abed.", "c": ["Jeff", "Jeff as Abed's father"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "[crying]", "c": ["Abed's Dad"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "[whispering] i made this all happen. / with falafel as a fallback.", "c": ["Britta", "Abed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "well, britta, it isn't called friend business, It's called show business.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "[clamorous sneeze] / god--god bless you. god bless you.", "c": ["Troy", "Shirley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "hey, um, you should kiss me right now.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "day seized! / we're even. / [laughs] 'a' plus, winger.", "c": ["Jeff", "Woman", "Professor Whitman"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "yeah. fooled you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Introduction to Film"}, {"t": "And racist that i took the time personally to analyze that handwriting against past exams.", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "And this particular coward dots her is with tiny, itty-bitty, little circles. Boop. Boop. Tcch! Isn't that precious and cute?", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Who's 'erratic and unstable' now, Princess gringa?", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "I forgot to stagger the timing of my exit with shirley's.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "We both have a class across campus, and i can't go that kind of distance with 'ooh, that's nice.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Yeah, but i'm a sprinter. I'm at my best during high-speed bursts of wit.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "'Cause i might be worried if i was playing hacky sack a decade too late.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "All right, but i just wanted to point out that we easily walked more than 100 yards with no awkward pauses", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "I'm really glad that you're not hitting on me anymore.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "There's the awkward pause.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "But i had a 4.0 at riverside high, and i'm not looking down on this school at all, but i'm only here because of a brief addiction to pills that i was told would help me...focus, but they actually made me lose my scholarship and virginity.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "I'm not allowed to date students. Even though you're an eight. Which is a british ten, so i'm angry.", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "I seem to have left my purse in my duffle and my duffle in the boot of my lorry", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, no. This is my cell phone headset. And this is ear-noculars. It's for spies and whatnot. It gives you sonic hearing.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "All hearing is sonic.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Do they do stuff to your butt? Do you get paid more if they do stuff to your butt?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "They're showing all four indiana joneses at the vista. I'm really looking forward to the first three. I bought a whip.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "I figured we were more like chandler and phoebe. They never really had stories together.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Hope he doesn't try to 'handsome' her to death.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Oh, no, i was just gonna see if britta-- Hey, no judgment, bro. I used to do coffee.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Up top, sugar bear.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "And annie... It's never actually going to start.", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no! It's unacceptable, all right? You lied to me! When you say something starts at 9:00, it starts at nueve!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Houston, we have an idiot.", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Don't go too fast for these dogs. Short legs.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "I know a lot of grown men with radar dishes coming out of their ear.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Yeah, go, go, gadget incontinence.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "It's perpetually moist.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Look at the little one chase the big one. Look at him go. I'm gonna make him go quicker. It's like benny hill looks.", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "The soul train awards were tonight. You promised butt stuff!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Two cute white people, going to school together, just seems right.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Well, you guys should hang out sometime.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Did you see that hacky sack wears an anklet?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "I'm gonna show her that i am not the jerk she thinks i am and friend the hell out of that green-tea-drinking drum circler.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "My kids have got hamsters with bigger nips.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Sorry you've been waiting 26 hours. It's just gonna be another five minutes.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Go kill john lennon again, you loser.", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "He has warped the duncan principle. Damn you, you outlying piece of datum!", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Miss annie fanny panties in a bunch!", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "[Blows raspberry]", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Ultimate frisbee at the senior's center. It is amazing.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Aw, man, if i had a nickel for every time i wished somebody asked me that.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "You know, people underestimate the elderly, you know, but you see these guys out there and they're throwing the bee and they're just loving life.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "\u00bfDonde vaughn ustedes los s\u00e1bados? Domingo, pl-- Oh, okay", "c": ["Chang", "Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Did you ever notice where the ocean meets the sky, did ya? It's the same wizard blue that i see in your eye, brit-ta.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "That is the stain of a teardrop over the word 'rad.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Because you asked me to stay and you said we were friends.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Making fun of all of us. I heard you with my own ear...noculars.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Calling me 'hacky sack' and ripping my--my six pack abs and my moist hair.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Maybe he has a tiny penis.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Everything's all, 'no worries, no worries.' And he always says hello three times in a row. Hello, good evening, how are you?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Hey. What's up? Hi.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "This troop's got a case of the giggles, huh?", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "This is the least tight thing that's ever happened to me.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Oh, jeff. I have a gossip problem. I stir the pot, jeff. I'm a pot stirrer.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "They call me 'tattle-ina.' It's a bumblebee nickname. It's--it's cute, but it stings.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "What are we gonna talk about? My kids? Your--your doctor career?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Britta told me she had a sex dream about you.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Together: the fourth one blows.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Is there a spot on the friendship spectrum between total stranger and having to hear about the guys you date?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "How about the friend level where you sometimes have to cat-sit?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "You see, jeff, there are certain things man was not meant to hear. We were designed, by whatever entity you choose, to hear what's in this range, and really, this range alone.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "Because you know who's talking to us in this range? The people we love.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "[With jamaican accent] Hey, man, coming through. I love de desperate housewives.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "I'm dr. Doogie seacrest. I think i'm better than everyone else because i'm 40.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "I can hear you through the window, morons.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Social Psychology"}, {"t": "probably the same as teacher life, but less tragic, because i get to leave.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "very dry. very witty. not a great friend.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "the blonde with the pouty, strident cate blanchett sexuality and the ridiculous name?", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "you know, you have the savoir faire of a hyena. how is it that you and james bond come from the same island?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "cheers. m.a.s.h. fawlty towers. game over.", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "yeah, luis guzman is on a private jet from hollywood, because he can't wait to have that conversation with you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "really? how does he know about me?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "because he called me on my cell phone.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "i'm president obama's nephew.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "starting with me inventing the ferrari.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "i guess the cell phone number you put on the study group's contact sheet was fake, which i just learned in the awkward conclusion of a month-long text message affair with a dude from boulder.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "i'll cleanse my palate while kevin rethinks his marriage.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "uh...pass.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "my name's alex, dude.", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "Otherwise known as a crib sheet. Who did it, huh? Marianne? [comical voice] grandpa? Jackee?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "there's one asian stereotype that does apply to me. whoever did this insulted my honor.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "or mr. miyagi here will wax off everyone's score and the whole class gets a cero!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "the only difference between se\u00f1or chang and stalin is that i know who se\u00f1or chang is.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "did you hear him call me jackee like i'm some black female caricature?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "if i'm gonna cheat, i'm not gonna write information from a book onto a piece of paper. that's practically learning, for god's sakes.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "i may be naive, but i'm not stupid. well, i may be stupid, but i'm not trying to look like i'm not. well, i may be a genius, but i'm not a lesbian.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "smooth move, metamucil.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "troy invited rap music, and he's related to danny glover and president obama.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "abed, have you been racist this whole time while i'm telling everybody at church what a sweet little caramel angel you are?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "yes. just kidding. no. like that?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "this isn't a table. ha ha! that's funny.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "that's right. we are mature! too mature to sit in a class with a cheating, lying poop-face!", "c": ["Class"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "oh, wait, i gave a quarter to a dirty bum today.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "much like a university would!", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "using its $6,000 judge's table!", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "relative to this place, i'm alan dershowitz.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "i can neither confirm nor deny that. see how good i am?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "hey, troy. did you hear? all dogs are blue now. every single dog in the world is blue.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "first of all, i cannot be got, because i am not gullible like you. secondly, you are not good at this, because you are not believable in your face, okay? your face? it's bad.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "well, it sounds like there are two biases, one on each side, and i go both ways. oh, let's strike that.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "it was a tuesday, uh, crack of dawn, 5:58 a.m. i got up, i took my morning deuce, i made a breakfast consisting of..", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "you can tell the dean i'll have a song that'll make the devil poop god's pants.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "your sheet music looks like a chinese takeout menu.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "moo shoo pork, squab with lettuce. you see? i mean, it just comes out.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "you are inside a throbbing, cosmic womb of creativity, and when this baby starts kicking, i cannot be responsible for your sanity.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "if you know what i mean.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "objection. i don't know what he means.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "shut your pompous vortex of overlapping fangs!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "hey, british dentistry is not on trial.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "the world wasn't the only thing that changed on september 11th.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "save the table! save the table!", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "Abed ululating and making alien transmission sounds", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "it is on like donkey kong!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "do you mind if we have this conversation in a room with less balls?", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "look how handsome my face is.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "gentlemen... my client is insane.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "you two are arguing about status at a college that correspondence schools make fun of.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "you are putting us at risk of electrocution.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "oh, come on, leonard. if you're gonna argue with me, put on a bathing suit.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "if crazy people can't be at greendale, where are we supposed to go?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "thinking maybe fridays, nine-ish, something like that.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "it would be less creepy if you were actually an alien.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "i'm no more of a songwriter than you or billy joel.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "you'll be wiping off that ketchup with our wipes, hawthorne wipes! you'll be wiping off that mustard with our wipes at the picnic!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "you're not very pretty, you have no boobs, and you can't do a basket toss to save your life, but you made a commitment.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "so pick up your pompoms, pierce, stuff your bra, and get ready for the team bus to forget you at a taco bell, because life is tough.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "does he know he stole it? i don't think so. let him enjoy it.", "c": ["Jeff", "Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "can we get sued? - not sure.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Advanced Criminal Law"}, {"t": "dwarves hate being called midgets, and midgets are small", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "a movie of the week", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "just like my weiner", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.43, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "you said weiner. that's funny", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "pierce and troy didn't get along at first, but now they're bonding through mutual adolescence", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "shut up, boo-boo head / will you shut up, fart head?", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "there is just one of every kind of you, isn't there?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "well, we are missing a pipsqueak, but we don't want one, so beat it", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "sometimes i just roll around campus like a little football", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "did you know they had a football?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "the team's name is the human beings? / yeah. my idea", "c": ["Troy", "Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "well, a lot of these students have been called animals their whole lives", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "oh, i can help you with that, your honor. i have a wealth of experience in image management, icon development, and y2k preparedness", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "whoa! yoko ono much?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "bros before hoes, troy", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.44, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "i wouldn't play for this school with a 10-foot pole", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "dean, i'm sure troy will sign up for football if and when some accident damages the part of his brain that feels pride", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "wednesdays and sundays it's used as parking overflow for the mega-church", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "oh, no, i don't have to go", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "girls go in groups. did you learn nothing from stand-up comedy in the '90s?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "well, then you should know that nothing says 'i'm a woman' like doing it with me", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "will they or won't they? sexual tension", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "abed, it makes the group uncomfortable when you talk about us like we're characters in a show you're watching", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "well, that's sort of my gimmick. but we did lean on that pretty hard last week. i can lay low for an episode", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.76, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "most valued customer. henderson trophy cases", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "or pancakes!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "i'm jeff. and i'm a student at greendale", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "that's mine. my bad", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "why would you not bring a pen to class? idiot. no, you're not an idiot", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "maybe he didn't see you / he saw me! / maybe he had his blinker on too / maybe", "c": ["Britta", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "[robotic voice] i am a female pleasure unit. i require a new coat of paint", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "but of course you're saying, 'britta, aren't you a hypocrite? you're plastered with glitter and goo from head to toe, just like the rest of us.'", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "the penis is a little small, i think", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "so...black?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "sorry to disturb you guys...who are clearly looking at a naked drawing of pierce doing jumping jacks", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "is that real bed head, or do you put something in there? can i? oh, it's crispy", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "jeffrey, did you not read the release agreement on the back of your registration form? i'm starting to see why someone used to be a lawyer", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "if you said, 'jump,' he'd say, 'how high?' if you said, 'stop,' he'd say, 'hammertime'", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "lawyer... companies? legal... gatherings?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "i think so", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "that's a falcon with a gun", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "now it's a falcon with an erection", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "man, that backcountry today was epic! well worth the jellybeaning. blue bird day to shred some pow", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "the dome arrives later. it comes with thunder", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "you're saying i could be a lawyer / i'm saying you're a football player!", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "annie said that benjamin button was compelling", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "is that linebacker a pregnant woman?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "how did you know my nickname's t-bone? / because you're a football player, and your name begins with 't.' your name...begins...with 't.'", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "i was just trying to throw you a bone because i like you / oh. you can keep that bone", "c": ["Britta", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "that is the ladies' room, britta, a place where ladies go to share, listen, support each other and... discreetly eliminate waste", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "i've peed alone my whole life", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "maybe it was when i got boobs before everyb--", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "why are you doing a politically conservative high school shamefully outdated fight rap?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "threw the skin around a couple of times. still got it. eh...eh...eh...eh... doosh!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "what i need to know about the universe is that i'm at the center of it", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "this isn't the real you. this is the arrogant jock that totally ignored the only people that truly liked him for non-superficial reasons but weren't allowed to say anything because their parents are bigots!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "i think if we add in a little bit of phylicia rashad we'll be in better shape / yeah, you're right. that beige is a little light", "c": ["Pierce", "Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "this is a chart of the features we're staying away from-- pan-asian eye folds, irish chins, women's breasts", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "this is our human color wheel. it goes from seal to seal's teeth", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "i think not being racist is the new racism", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "oh, yeah, a desmond tutu with just enough cream to make it a lou diamond phillips", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "maybe you should tell him you're hopelessly in love with him. high school must have been tough, huh?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "you are just as selfish as i am. you're just not as good at it yet", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "profound, but technically meaningless", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "but i'm here...to listen...girl", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "but i'm here... to listen...girl.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "maybe...it's because men make the world go round?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "there are guys out there that would kill to be with you. and if troy isn't one of them, that's him failing your standards", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "'scuse me! / i did it, i did it! / oh, yes, you did!", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "i hurt myself on purpose / there was a scout coming to the final game at riverside and...i couldn't take the pressure, so i took the easy way out", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "dude, we have feelings", "c": ["Football Player"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "greendale, we're number one! nancy pelosi is no fun!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "it's not like greendale's gonna kill me or anything", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "the costume makes it difficult for him to see", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "he can't move his mouth either. but take it from me, that's human for 'hello.'", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "we've solved racism. what's next? / uh, let's do something for little people. ooh! or albinos! / little albinos", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Football, Feminism and You"}, {"t": "Little-known fact, statistics were not his only love. He's also famous for his french sauce used on meat and poultry.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "you were nailing it, until you had to ask.", "c": ["Slater"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "oh, damn it. starting over. Hey, you in the skirt, date me.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "i've graded enough of your tests to know i'd never feel mentally inadequate.", "c": ["Slater"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "Did you ever see that katherine heigl movie poster where gerard butler had that heart over his weiner? That resonated with me.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "I'm barely a student. I'm older than you. I drive a lexus. i saw ghost busters in the theater. Look, my gums are receding.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "it's uncanny how many of my buttons you're finding, But i have a personal rule about this, and i stick to it.", "c": ["Slater"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "then i can mark you down as definitely being there From 7:00 sharp till upside-down spanish question mark?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "infomercials work on pierce.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "The last time you did this, I saved a vial of your tears And have been slowly building up an immunity.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "i was so unpopular in high school, The crossing guard used to lure me into traffic.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "My grandpa took that when he was around your age... one time he started hallucinating And ran down the street with no pants on. Which in the gaza strip is considered a real party foul", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "look, i really don't need your advice, And i'm not your pantsless grandpa.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "you don't have to keep doing that!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "she blew you off, huh?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "oh, look, it's the eavesdropping matador.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "are you saying my people are sneaky?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "am i good looking? - you're a very attractive young man. - i knew it.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "i am the beastmaster. from the movie beastmaster. What rock have you been living under?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "What are you going as? A gay douchebag? just kidding.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "oh, thanks, urkel. - i'm harry potter. - really? - what up, urkel?", "c": ["Pierce", "Abed", "Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "I've got 'ludes, uh, dreamers... Johnny boys.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "oh, sorry. I thought i was dealing with the beastmaster.", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "Professor slater doesn't date students. Or married asians who drive mopeds.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "hey, uh, man? what'd you slip me? I keep grinding my teeth, and i want to kiss everybody.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "My heart stopped racing, and i can't pee.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "to be with professor short skirt? We hate her.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "We should go find that bitch's car And snap off her antenna.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "That's right, professor slim calves. This is what you get when you steal jeff from a good woman!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "I may or may not have been deflowered By a junior rodeo champion.", "c": ["Slater"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "you lost your virginity to robin hood?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "what friends? I have no friends. I hate everyone here but you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "i think the words that you're looking for Are 'i own a cowboy outfit.' And it is tight too. did you buy it like that? Your toy gun to my head, i'd say yes.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "britta perry, g.e.d.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "when you say 'classmate,' It sounds like we take naps together and eat paste", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "it's like grumpy old men but not hilarious.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "why is urkel ripping the antenna Off professor slater's car?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "That's right, professor slim calves. This is what you get when you steal jeff from a good woman!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "i'm old? What do you mean old? Whose hands are these?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "i know i'm not batman. You could try not being a jerk.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "i'm putting this hose in her desk, And you going outside to turn the water on.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "the long-neck, weave-having bank teller Didn't feel universal.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "Nice and pretentious.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "hey, man, what's going on? You have a full-on erection. Just rela-- just relax.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "I've got the body of a fifth grader, okay? If i was working with what you've got, She'd be at the comfort inn right now Giving me a mexican halloween.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "Please sleep with me. please. Pretty please. i'm so lonely. I haven't slept with anyone in a very long time, And you are so good looking. Please do me the favor of having sex with me.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "i never saw beastmaster. I just wanted to be cool.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "i know in the last two months You've probably doubled the national average For amount of life lived per lifetime.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts To be alive, You're a hero To everything that's ever lived.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "I must be out there in the night, Staying vigilant. Wherever a party needs to be saved, I'm there. Wherever there are masks, Wherever there's tomfoolery and joy, I'm there.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "But sometimes i'm not, 'cause i'm out in the night, Staying vigilant, watching, Lurking, running, jumping, Hurtling, sleeping... No, i can't sleep. You sleep. i'm awake. I don't sleep. i don't blink. Am i a bird? no. I'm a bat. I am batman. Or am i? Yes, i am batman.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "You sound like cookie monster. - i'm batman. - that's batman.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "candy corn looks like tiny traffic cones. - yeah, it sure does. - at, like, a candy traffic school.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "like, a little gingerbread man at the wheel, And he's drunk. - look out. - you'd be driving, But you keep wanting to eat yourself.", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "what is? - if i ever, like, woke up as a donut. - you would eat yourself? - i wouldn't even question it. that'd be tasty.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy", "Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Introduction to Statistics"}, {"t": "want to see my place? - i can see it from here. two girls are making out on the hood.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "shmove shmon shmith shmy shmife", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "is that a bidet? - that part's for resale value. and saturday afternoons.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "you're attracted to bums", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "i got a hot plate that plugs into a cigarette lighter. - yeah, but your kitchen's being towed.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "you want the top bunk or the bottom bunk? - top. - me too.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "i win.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "no, your incredulity perplexes me, nerd.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "did i say anything in my sleep last night about farm animals or brian williams?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "sometimes i like to pour hot cocoa mix into cold milk and drink like it like a cold hot chocolate. i call it 'special drink.'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "and some day you will know it by its true name, 'diabetes.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "you're goldie hawn, jeff. - i'm sorry? - you're goldie hawn. - is it the lips?", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "can i not be kurt russell in this scenario?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "i was just gonna lay down newspaper.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "love is a gamble always. but waiting won't change the dice. you either roll them or you lose your turn.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "shake 'em in your mind, okay?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "kind of hoping for a michael richards situation.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "same as a 45-year-old, except he doesn't get as tired.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "tv's the best dad there is. tv never came home drunk. tv never forgot me at the zoo. tv never abused and insulted me unless you count cop rock.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "wow. you guys are really dorming it up in here, huh?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "you don't sit on a toilet like that until you've left the material world behind.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "cool. - cool. - cool, cool, cool.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "are you trying to garfunkel me?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "maybe. assuming to 'garfunkel' someone is to keep putting up with them even though they're a fat, lazy cat who hogs the spotlight and eats all the lasagna.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "maybe because when i put on these skinny jeans, my ass looks like a baby pumpkin.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "i'm not a small-nippled, credit-hogging jag who only knows three power cords.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "remember when you pretended to be my backpack?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "my appendix is bursting. - what? - yeah. yeah. my appendix is bursting.", "c": ["Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "you guys are sexual partners, right? - [forced laughter] us? no. no. he's my very good friend and i have appendicitis.", "c": ["Nurse", "Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "she was the 'typhoid mary' of herpes.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "i'm kind of the hawkeye around here", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "knight rider marathon. - shadowy flight into the world of a man who does not exist.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "he's got a real phil spector vibe going.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "he's like e.t. he crashed in my place. and we're friends now, which is great for me, but it's bad for him. he needs to get back.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "draw the tapeworm of jeff's old self out of him with the bowl of milk that is your sexuality.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "think how much happier the jeffersons were than that family on good times.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "but they had good times.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "that sport where the british people ride the horses with the really long hammers?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "maybe if you put stain remover on a turd, you don't get a diamond; you just get a turd with less direction in life.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "i made this notch to indicate optimal cleansing temperature for combination skin.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "you're into me. - i beg your unbelievable pardon.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "she may walk like she just got off a horse, but underneath all that clown makeup, she's--she's a good kid.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "lates! - lates. okay. snakes. what?", "c": ["Vaughn", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "i want my nana's blanket back. do you--do you guys mind? i just--could you scoot over? it's--it's an heirloom. i want it...back.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "i don't care what you think. for me, that was huge.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "smelled what happens to pavel on cabbage night", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "you're a huge nerd. - thanks.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Home Economics"}, {"t": "Would have been nice to have that option 27 minutes ago", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Great. Now I got to start the whole joke over again", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "A doddering old fool walks into a bar, tells a stupid joke, and I crush his windpipe with my three-ring binder", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "[giggles] I don't get it", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "I will slap that smug look right off your pointy face", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Britta, I'm saying this because I care about you and you're my friend. You need to start smoking again", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "They say it makes you lose weight, and your skin looks really great when you do smoke", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Ten-to-one says it's him", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "His name is Pierce Hawthorne. And I'm very effective", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Can you help me block out people's voices I find extremely annoying?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Oh, did I hurt your feelings, pointy face?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Those people look just like us. That's eerie", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "We had almost that exact conversation last week", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "That boy's a soothsayer", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "This is wrinkling my brain / That's wrinkling my brain / Get a load of these wrinkles", "c": ["Troy", "Abed", "Pierce"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "I hang on every word", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "I'm barely listening now", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Jeffrey, as debate coach, I am offering you an opportunity to spend the night drinking from the cup of life rather than romancing your nether regions in front of the E! channel", "c": ["Whitman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "The best compliment our sports program gets is that our basketball team is really gay", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "A night of companionship if you know what I mean", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "I'll do it for the parking space. And if you promise not to tell me what you mean", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Just checking the time. [clank]", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Sex with men. Wearing attractive clothing", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Oh god, I think I really hurt myself! Somebody help me. Oh, Britta, wake up! Why'd I put you under so well? Damn my talent.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "He fell down and screamed in pain while I laid there with my eyes closed to make him feel like a good hypnotherapist", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "He's a witch! Get him!", "c": ["Troy", "Shirley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "I also know you have thinly veiled rage issues / Careful, boy", "c": ["Abed", "Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Jeff's character acts like nothing around here affects him. But things bother him more than he lets on / Hey, I'm top of the class / He's also very vain", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Why am I crying? What, I accidentally listen to Come Sail Away by Styx again?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "You tell me my future right now, you evil wizard!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "By the way, Jeff, I think your shirt's trying to get out of your pants", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "I hate this guy", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Old trick for achieving the proper competitive mindset, I always envision my opponent having aggressive sex with my mother", "c": ["Whitman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Take Jean here. She spent a lot of time this morning making herself look so lovely. Tell me, Jean. How many people bothered to tell you how great you look today? None. Man is evil", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "But you just said how great I looked / For my own selfish purposes", "c": ["Jean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "I think we could have a little more fun if I express myself in song", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "I only got 8? / She got 8. You got 0. It's a debate, not American Idol", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Nice work, L.A. Law. All sizzle, no steak", "c": ["Simmons"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "By Zeus, what sort of jackassery is this? We're in the middle of a championship debate", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Never, because it's stupid, and I don't care. Bite me", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Maybe Simmons is right. You really are all sizzle and no steak. You probably couldn't beat him if you tried", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Really? / No, who am I, iCarly?", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Look, six months ago, I was a lawyer. I wore suits. I used to say stuff like, 'objection' and 'sidebar.' Now I'm losing a community college debate to Jeremy 'Soul Patch' Simmons", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Zero for Winger / Was a big shot lawyer / Now he's a lo-ooooo-ser", "c": ["Simmons"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Little Annie Adderall was an outcast in high school", "c": ["Simmons"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "That's it. Dude, we are gonna debate the living crap out of you", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "I liked you better when you were smoking", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "My feet are long and stupid. You can't unring that bell", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "You middle-eastern magic eight ball", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Is that me being chased down by a werewolf? / Yeah. And that's how you'd behave in that situation, no?", "c": ["Shirley", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "You're a fool", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "It's called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Like a spinster librarian with my hair pulled back", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "[giggles] Ridiculous. / Us. Kissing. That is ridiculous. / Totally", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "That way we can be more reproductive--productive!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Oh, you forgot your phone. / Well, I can get another one", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Perhaps some barrel-chested stud with just enough tummy to love. You'll want to buy him dinner, then go back to his hot tub", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Go to hell, you disgusting pig", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "What do you think I am, some kind of a joke?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Do not help me up", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Mine was just from a simple desert handyman named Jesus", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Apu from the Simpsons", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Ketchup is a vegetable", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "God, did I just say cross-burner? / No, you did not", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "He hates me. Yet he caught me", "c": ["Simmons"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "He was horny. So he dropped him", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.64, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "They kissed. You do have powers. I'm gonna die by werewolf", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "In my next film, we discover that Pierce is an actual genius / Well, that's not gonna happen / No, it's not", "c": ["Abed", "Pierce", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "I can't smoke a cigarette without thinking of a three-way in your hot tub. You did it", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "Just pat me", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "donde esta la biblioteca? me llamo t-bone, la arana discoteca", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Debate 109"}, {"t": "but we were already called greendale.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "eh, no. not really.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "I'm trying to save the planet, here.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "the consequences of questioning authority.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "oh, six pages on ignorance.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "20 pages on ass kissing!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "you know, if senor chang gets any crazier, He's gonna win one of those grammy awards.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "I choose not to be around rats because they are unpopular.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "Same goes for centipedes and lakes.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "i vote we all look at jeff at the same time.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "yeah, go tongue chang.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "wait, you are convincing!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "I mean, that guy goes any more nuts, He's gonna win a grammy.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "well, guess what, handsome hobo. Your gravy train's leavin' the station.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "But when you find my body, don't believe the suicide note.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "hmm. this better not awaken anything in me.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "we're greene daeye.", "c": ["Fake Green Day"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "okay, freud.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "teaching us the word \"esposa\" means \"liar.\"", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "yeah. you look like you would have to.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "I pleasured that woman greatly.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "uh, are you offering or collecting?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "[screams]", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "I'll kick all your asses! But y'all have to come up here!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "essay canceled. sha-clackey.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "oh, oh, i didn't say everybody. It's for my new friend jeff.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "You could do my homework next time. See you in class.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "try to join the rest of us in reality, britta.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "Do you know anybody who reads from cards? No, you don't, and that's why.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "whatever, valley girl.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "attention-grabbing words to wake up the audience Such as, uh, 'multiple orgasm.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "no, you're not, abed.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "Because, while both are dirty, Neither are my friends.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "cherry daiquiri!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "you devious clump Of overpriced fabric and hair product.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "speaking as one of the meek, As soon as i inherit the earth, you a dead man.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "you got a weird forehead.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "it's all right, i've been divorced seven times. Don't answer your phones And bury all your money in the backyard.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "and the saleswoman had manzanas gigante.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "Seven different women agreed to marry that guy.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "Let me rest gently on your pecs.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "you can't handle a moist towelette!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "Just don't let anybody know i was involved.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "he's sitting in jeff's chair, So he's trying to act like jeff.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "real friends help me with things. Not vice versa.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "he gets any nuttier, they're gonna put him on the view.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "By the way, they're not the real green day. Thought we should just rip that band-aid off quickly.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "ms. bennett, i'm afraid i have to ask you To put down the cards.", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "if you love brownies, you love life.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "here's brownie!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "although, winger, You should write a one-page essay called taking advantage of the emotionally-vulnerable.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "No more 20-page essays due on monday!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "[thud] booyah.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "taking advantage of the emotionally-vulnerable.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "jeff, i'm sorry i called you a handsome hobo.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "i know your secret. I know about the chair.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "i know about the chair.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "Oh, it's pepper water! oh, it's pep-- Who puts pepper in water?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Environmental Science"}, {"t": "well, this isn't gonna be your mother's sexually transmitted disease awareness fair", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "catch knowledge", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "you stick to quotin' movie lines. i'll stick to sports / i'm trying to reduce my pop-cultural referencing", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "'secretary' is a little degrading to women. i help the dean do officey things", "c": ["Sabrina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "oh, gender saved", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "you know the toilets in the women's bathrooms don't have seats, right? / because they keep getting stolen", "c": ["Sabrina", "Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "sabrina, take a note. i want hidden cameras in every stall. problem solved", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "'you will get aids.' / flip it over. / 'unless you go to the std fair.' / i wrote that", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "congratu-- horrible!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "she is super smart, if you know what i mean / unfortunately, i always know what you mean", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "when you catch a big fish, you want to stuff her and put her on the mantle", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "it's impossible to guard you. your eyes are too gentle and mysterious", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "she's an escort. / oh... / some mysteries solve themselves, don't they?", "c": ["Pierce", "Group", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "taking a call girl to an std fair. there's a joke here", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "is there a pill that makes the word 'no' clearer?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "oooohh... / maybe it has something to do with crabs. they're like a food, but they're also a disease", "c": ["Group", "Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "for all your feather flashing, when was the last time you actually scored? / well, i don't know the precise date, pierce, because i'm not you, so there's no receipt", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "'don't eat the crab dip.' yay-yay!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "that's the sound of stds screaming, 'no! stop being so aware of us!'", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "what my dad called a jimmy carter", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "trust me, eyes closed, you can't tell the difference", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "if i answer now, you'll never learn a valuable lesson about trust, jennifer. crap!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "car wash redhead. tube top, r.e.m. concert. juror number six", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "at least you have 'mommy' in here. / it's not my mom. / dude, not cool", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "the women literally have no identities. it's pretty shallow", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "real...whatchamacallits... are nothing like bananas! are they?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "you're like a unicorn", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "we did it to madonna's erotica on the floor of his walk-in closet. but he wouldn't let me look at it. and he cried after. and during. he's gay now. i think he was gay then", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "harvey keitel's?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "we have to break into his office", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "from my experience, they don't last any more than 12, 13 years", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "oh, no, syphilis. please, please, no, syphilis. ow, it burns! oh, that's gonna hurt", "c": ["Background performer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "she likes hip-hop and horses. dislikes beards", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "can you ever really own a horse?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "oh, you must have a great personality", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "wow, me in a dune buggy. with syphilis. this is going on the fridge", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "maybe we split up for a little hoo-ha. and then meet in the morning for eggs and...details", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "that sounds like the worst combination plate ever", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "oh, like stallone in over the top. but i'm not sure of all the rules. don't i need a semi truck and a ten-year-old son?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "you broke my hand, you bastard", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "thar she blows", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "oh, i had it wroooong! is that considered large?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "yes. / no.", "c": ["Shirley", "Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "what in the reverse porky's is going on here?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "hey, honey, say caber-net sauv-a-gong-da-nun", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "he was into s&m and merlot, so we called it s&m&m", "c": ["Doreen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "honey, you're boring the crap out of jeff", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "be right back. i have to make tinkles", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "they're in the shop", "c": ["Doreen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "she thinks that monty python is the evil snake from harry potter", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "that is going to suck. / 'going to,' jeff?", "c": ["Jeff", "Doreen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "she thinks that monty python is the evil snake from harry potter", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "i will take 'tinkles' over 'we need to talk' every time", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "you can do better", "c": ["Doreen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "is there any lovemaking on the table? / we're through, pierce. but it will cost you 200 bucks", "c": ["Pierce", "Doreen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "but it will cost you 200 bucks", "c": ["Doreen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "a 597? there's a dog-fighting ring in my office?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "reverse porky's", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "the 'p' word has entered into play", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "penis. / she didn't say it", "c": ["Gail", "Monique"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "wow, i really do feel more comfortable saying that now, gail", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "i like being repressed. i am totally comfortable being uncomfortable with my sexuality", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "a giant thumb in a turtleneck. whoop-dee-do!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "but you're at greendale... and you're old", "c": ["Sabrina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "yikers. / yeah, it's pretty much yikers for me too", "c": ["Sabrina", "Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "keep it. / but-- / yeah! yes! yes! how you like those apples?", "c": ["Jeff", "Sabrina", "Jeff"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "dude, these are leaking. / oh, my god. that's why you don't print things on condoms. everyone's getting preggers, and it's all your fault", "c": ["Student", "Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "dean, i am not the best athlete on campus. abed is. i know you let me win the race", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "that's because... i wanted it to be true", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "go, abed, go, before people sex one another!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "i think this place is sapping my life force", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "a man reaches a point in his life where he stops looking for a place to hang his underwear and starts looking for a place to hang his hat", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "oh, i was waiting for that to become inappropriate or racist", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "so could i borrow 200 bucks? / tell doreen i say hi", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "you know, for 220 i can get the-- / i'll give you 250 if you don't finish telling me", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "don't use the condoms! if you're going to have sex tonight, don't use condoms", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Politics of Human Sexuality"}, {"t": "Whoa, what's that sound? Is that the tippy-tapping of secular boots on the roof?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "non-denominational mr. Winter", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Pierce, I'd like to commend you for letting that one go. 'p.C.-Ness.' now I get it.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "It sounds like 'penis.' I just got it too.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "If this stands for 'what would billy joel do,' I'll tell you right now-- he'd write another crappy song.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Yeah, in your face, billy joel. who is that?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "You should probably stay away from christmas-tree-shaped cookies.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Ha ha! That did not even make allergic sense.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "If you're trying to be menacing, maybe don't call the cookie by its name.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Want to hear something funny, funny man? Knock, knock. My fist up your balls!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Who's there?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Jeff protected my honor. It was like my bodyguard, but I was the kid from meatballs, Jeff was the guy from full metal jacket, And the moustache guy was the brother of the guy on entourage.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Thanks for dumbing that down for us.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "For the same reason that I floss, Have a bed frame, and keep my guitar in its case-- I'm over 23.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I'm proud of you for handling it peacefully, jeff, Like a certain little birthday boy.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "No, the real reason men fight Is to release their pent-up gayness. That guy wasn't gay. He had a moustache.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Because doing more than the minimum work Is my definition of... failing.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Yep. One might even say I'm jewish.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Agnostic-- lazy man's atheist.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Yeah, we had a re-birthing ritual In my friend's hot tub. I'm now a level-five laser lotus in my buddhist community.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Just by asking me that question, You've put me back down to a level four. You now owe me 2,000 energon cubes.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Yeah, but we don't celebrate birthdays or christmas, And we can't drink. But it helps.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "So you're like a muslim. Salaam alaikum. Shama-lama-ding-dong.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Ugh! So boring.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "'true or falso or none of the above'? That doesn't make any sense.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I'll allow it.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "It's usted, dude. Even I know that.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Maybe to some show tunes?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I don't get it! But not the one by the parking lot!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Well, I aced it, amigo. That means 'cousin.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I know guys like this mike. He used to be a nerd. Now he's a meathead. Dangerous combo. Tyson, lou ferrigno, rosie o'donnell.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I'm wearing this jesus bracelet 'cause it gets me chicks.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Yeah, I got some... Theories.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "No, thank god. This is the moneymaker.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Every man should be punched in the face. It's a rite of passage. In my day, Friday night was Smoke a doobie, feel up a gal, And then get your teeth knocked out by a republican.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Troy, I assume you're handy with a switchblade. Abed, you get back to the family tent, Try to find a chicken for jeff to chase.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "We got forehead, old head, Dumb head, and, uh... The other head.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Classic rosie.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I'd say the whole word next time.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "We know you were one of us.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "'sup? 'sup? - 'sup! - No, it's a question. 'sup? - 'sup? - Not a real question, a rhetorical one. You have the answer. He does not.", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "And then you move to vermont.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "What are you, a north korean seamstress?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Why does she have to be black?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "We're trying to get jeff ready for the fiiiii...Iiight. I couldn't think of another word.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "He meant we were figh... Ting. It is hard to think of another word.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "December 10th?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I don't know what that is.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "To me, religion is like paul rudd. I see the appeal, and I would never take it away from anyone. But I would also never stand in line for it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Well, you don't get to. You're not my mom. - You're right. But if you show up for the fight, Don't show up for my party.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "That's 'mom' for mad.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I'm guessing as a woman I won't be allowed to eat that. That's too bad.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Oh, look, britta brought what she believes in... Nothing.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure that's a bong.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Coming from an atheist.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Jewie?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Say the whole word!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Tell it to the birthday cake you never got.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Suck it, nietzsche!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I get 72 virgins in heaven. - No.", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I get 72 virgins in heaven.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "You can start by rooting for jeff While he rolls around on the ground Groping another man. That's what I'm gonna do.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "While he rolls around on the ground Groping another man.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "The cranberry sauce has real cranberries.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Are you perpetually on your way to the gym?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Dude, my life is a gym!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Dude, you wear a bracelet?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I have to ask myself, What would shirley do? - Oh! - What would shirley do? - I think... - What would shirley do? - That she would shake your hand And wish you a merry christmas.", "c": ["Jeff", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "jeffrey... Kick his ass!", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "It's December 10th!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "It's December 10th!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "So...I have finished grading everyone's finals, And all of you are moving on. [cheers] except... For jeff. Turns out you-- Pause for dramatic effect-- Will be seeing me next semester. - [shrieking] noooooooo! - In spanish 102! Because he passed, you know.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I meant about jeff passing. You being our spanish teacher... Eh.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Actually, uh, that was my present to jeff.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "I got hit in the face, like, four times Before you punched me.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "Actually, I was gonna say merry semester And happy new one.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Comparative Religion"}, {"t": "You could even enroll in community college - Right now it sounds as boring as real life, But it is not.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Amsterdam, I think. I'll know more when I find my camera.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "These ironic tee shirts are all the rage.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "I wish I was still a lawyer. I'm only here because I'm hot for britta, And I don't want to be anybody's friend.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Just kidding. Bring it in here, ya knuckleheads!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "He kept his upbeat humor and charm Even in the 11th year of the korean war.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Did you just teleport here?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "No, I snuck in during the group hug.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "I've never seen you before in my life.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "He sits in the corner next to the dead plant.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Sometimes I have a tendency to melt into the background. It's just my body type.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Britta cheated? But why?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Gimme back my bra, annie. - I'm not even wearing a bra. - Oh!", "c": ["Britta", "Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "I sleep a lot in class. That one might have been a dream.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "\u266a I can't count the reasons I should stay \u266a", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "\u266a spanish studyin' is better \u266a \u266a when you're buddyin' \u266a \u266a around, yeah \u266a", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Sorry about the ruse, but I have something better Than exfoliating soap to rub on you.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "This is the first desk I've seen in six months that doesn't have 'zeppelin rules' carved into it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Pizza wars--who's got the best slice in town? Start with big nick's. Bring us a large, with sausage.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Find out how much they'll sell you Of anything cold and imported.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Are you a reporter?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "And because I love crosswords.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Ace? You can do that?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "the news of senor chang's death Over winter break was a shock to us all. But we should take comfort in the fact That he did not suffer When his moped hit the side of that arby's.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "So sad. But best semester ever.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "That was a professional actress. I am a man who can never die.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "We've got three chicks, three dudes, And now two weirdos. Sorry, abed.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Or he could have a row of jars waiting for our genitals.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Yo, I need my genitals.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "'cause you're hilarious!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "And one french kid named lebron. That's profiling.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Well...Nobody's that stupid, right?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Hello? Um... wrong number.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "No, that-- that was a good cover.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Thank you guys very much-- much--real much? Duh!", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Conjugate. Conjugal visit!", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.71, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "\u266a annie got an essay portion \u266a \u266a annie gonna move her luscious fanny \u266a \u266a all day long \u266a", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Annie's pretty young. We try not to sexualize her.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "I was thinking, as a group, We could start saying, 'you go, girl.' Not in a way that's, you know, 'oh, I'm so cool saying you go, girl.' But in a way that we're kinda winking at it.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Did anyone see paul blart: Mall co-- I'm like that, okay? I'm fat and I'm... Physical, okay? And I'm strong. Hmm? And I can kick.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "[Buddy kicks Jeff in face, giving him nosebleed]", "c": ["Buddy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "I get 'em when it's dry And when my face gets kicked.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Your friend Gary is so boring. He was raised in Finland. He doesn't get our humor.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "I think it's obvious to everyone That this buddy fellow has a few froot loops loose.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "I can't stop thinking about his high kick. His ratio of girth to hip flexibility Is mesmerizing.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Your friend gary is so boring. - He was raised in finland. He doesn't get our humor.", "c": ["Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "He grew up in a land without sun!", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Holy crap. Wow. It says here some guy in seattle went nuts And killed his entire driver's ed class With a meat tenderizer.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Holy crap. Wow. It says here some guy in Seattle went nuts and killed his entire driver's ed class with a meat tenderizer.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "You lied about the guy in seattle With the meat tenderizer. You put your thumb on the scale. But you did it with a smile, And you did it so you could keep smiling. You're hawkeye.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Racial profiling may not be right, But it can be economical.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Would you prefer 'imbecile' or 'incompetent?'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "My best friend when I was six years old was a black man.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "This is greendale, jeff. We can do whatever we want.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Was it the high kick? Was it 'you go, girl'?", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "I made you guys lemon squares with free-range eggs That I baked with my own hands.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Maybe a little less sugar next time.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "You're an uptight puppet master, And these are all your little puppets.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Make me...Hitler.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Try getting that deal from hitler.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "[Buddy's Spanish outburst and physical meltdown]", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "[Buddy has epic meltdown being dragged out of library with pants down screaming]", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "If you'd ever actually seen the show, You'd know that hawkeye doesn't just bed nurses And drink martinis. He also had blood sprayed on his face And barked orders when the choppers came in. If he didn't, people died. He was a leader, jeff. That's your job.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Because... You're jeff winger.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Ooh, you made me so happy I just peed a little.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Ooh, you made me so happy I just peed a little.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Annie, you flash your breasts as a decoy for the bum rush.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.34, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "I didn't pick you as a decoy 'cause your breasts are so old.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "You guys were my safe date.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "And that, ladies and gentlemen, Is why I voted to keep him.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Investigative Journalism"}, {"t": "Sounds like a porno with kate winslet.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Abed, ew.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "It's like math or other regular classes.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I have something unimportant that can't ever move.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Oh, the last thing I said to him was 'suck it.'", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Me too.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I did.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I'm not mickey rooney. You don't have to cross your fingers to see if I'll show up.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "You know, when I was 30, People used to wish that I was dead to my face! That's called respect.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Last name beeswax, first name none-a-ya.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Can't I be the friend in the group Whose trademark is his well-defined boundaries, Like privacy smurf, discreet bear or... Confidentiality spice?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "That's ridiculous. Obviously, it's a guy.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "You're wrong, pierce. It's two guys.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Sometimes I do wish you were dead. thank you.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "What's up, bro? boo! Hey, what's up, j-dog? Woof, woof, woof, woof! Yeah!", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "You know the answer, mr. Winger. I don't date students, Even if you are no longer in my statistics class.", "c": ["Professor Slater"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "But sometimes I feel like she's just waiting for me To stop talking and take off my pants. She is.", "c": ["Slater", "Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "But the sneaking does make the sex 38% hotter.", "c": ["Slater"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Wow, you do like statistics, don't you?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "You rank people by how hot they are? You got it... Number two.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Two people of your rankings in this small a room... With this type of lighting and his upper body And what her heels and hemline are doing To enhance what were already quite a few favors from god--", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Dean pelton. - Yes, professor seven-- Uh, slater.", "c": ["Slater", "Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I think he might have ruined-- it's dead.", "c": ["Jeff", "Slater"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I will break off your legs And use them to smash in your friends' cars.", "c": ["Madame Leclair"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Troy, since when have you taken modern dance? Since last semester. Coach told me it would help with my coordination, And I fell in love with it, in a very straight way.", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "That's because you don't play football Or have fun.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I have fun tap-dancing.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I am spending a lot of money on breakaway clothing.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "We never finished our intercourse.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "As soon as we touch, the blinds will open, And six annoying but loveable misfits Will be staring at us.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "come on, what are the odds?", "c": ["Slater"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Could you open the back door?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Well, jeff acts as sort of the dad of the group, So emotionally this is kind of like being told That you're our new mom.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Do you cook macaroni?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Macaroni's my favorite.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Well, jeff, You've taken a big step in knocking down the barriers Between students and teachers... Just like rosa parks.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I don't think it's like that. No, it's just like that. I feel if you need to explain it, It's not just like that.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Have been taking a tap class. That's...Funny.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Well, you're not a typically vulnerable or feminine person, And the act of dancing is considered Both vulnerable and feminine.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Um... M-my secret... Is that... I knew britta's secret.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "What the--none of you left the room. How is that even possible?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "That's why god gave them parts that jiggle.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "But I'd be going from starting quarterback To a guy that twirls around in tights. I've got way more to lose getting up on that stage Because I'm a man.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Chasing after you made him a better person Because you always called him on his stuff. All this time, you've been warming him up And stirring in sweetener and making him just right. And, sure, you weren't ready to take a sip yet, But that didn't mean you want somebody To snatch him off the counter And guzzle him down right in front of you.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Can... Can I just ask As a divorced black housewife-- What part of being a single white slacker Makes you people so jaded?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Ooh! You people? What do you mean, you people?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I cannot believe I got to say that. It's the little things, isn't it?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "pierce's twitter account, In which he says he's 47 And teaches a women's-only pilates class.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Might you ever consider Spending the night with a third person? That's not on there!", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "The best friend ever.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Would you describe yourself as boyfriend and girlfriend? - Yes. - Eh... What? - Oh, boy.", "c": ["Dean", "Slater", "Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Look, the biggest truths aren't original. Truth is ketchup. It's jim belushi.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Its job isn't to blow our minds. It's to be within reach, So the truth is... I get claustrophobic when things get official.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "It's the jim belushi of sexual commitments. It barely means anything, And it grows on what's there over time.", "c": ["Slater"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Boy, that guy's really taking a pounding In this conversation.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I have no idea How someone could do what you're about to do.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I brought goobers. Anybody want a goober? Get them while they're gooby!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Tea for two? There-there're five people. Shh!", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Is she a water pot or a tea kettle?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Don't you think the flowers are dying from the tea?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Oh! Ooh! Plot twist.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "What are you doing here? Being a friend and a man.", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Culturally, it's unacceptable, But it's theatrical dynamite!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I mean, you looked so pathetic, You made going up there the most masculine option.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "And such a creative way to tell the world you're gay.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "I mean, if I can handle having a girl for a friend, Who's to say I'm not ready for a girlfriend?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Is that-- that's what people do, right? I was gonna throw them up on stage, But I thought they might catch fire.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "Bridges. Four letters. Hmm. I know. Bridges.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Interpretive Dance"}, {"t": "There's a gold star on your fly.", "c": ["Student", "Jeff"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "[Gasps] You weren't kidding. You know, it's nice to have a girlfriend with a sense of humor and one who recognizes good work.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "See, that's 'g.' that's the most important chord. In my mind, it... it stands for 'God.'", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Why is Annie talking to micro-nipples?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "But not like a bible God, because I think that God is in everything.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "He never wears a shirt. He never wears shoes. Why hasn't he died from lack of service?", "c": ["Unknown student"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Kickpuncher, starring Don 'the demon' Donaldson as a cyborg cop whose punches have the power of kicks.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "That sounds awful. I'll bring the popcorn.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Usually when a movie's bad, I stop watching, but this sounds college-y.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Pierce, you don't want to watch a cyborg movie in Abed's dorm. You want to lay on your twin bed and think about what you used to be.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "What? You think I'm too old to make monkeyshines at a picture show? Come on. I'm younger than the three of you put together.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know, everyone talks about his nipples, but his feet freak me out.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. I still don't know if that's his first or last name.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "He has a sincerity I found attractive in a simpler time.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "The other day after Spanish, I thought he was trying to hold my hand, but he'd just mistaken me for Abed.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Well, Annie, I would have to be a villain", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Damn right. Give me some fivesies. Whoo. Turning it into a snake.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Get to the cute part.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Look, this isn't about you, you groovy hipster. It's about Annie.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "He's a gateway douche bag.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "And that can be your toast at her shotgun wedding to Star-burns.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, turn to your left. Oh, now turn to your right. Yes, we can see both of them. It's like a constellation on your face.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "That guy over there, he's a douche bag.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Oh, that's cool that you're hanging out, drinking beers with your students.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Yeah. Clearly, none of my other plans fell through.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "You gonna be waiting a long-ass time.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Ooh, FBI warning... I'm so scared.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 4.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "I must have missed that.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Sounds like a Thanksgiving at my house.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Will it get me through this movie?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Freeze police? Don't do that. They'll get cold.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Yeah, two hours of my life back.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Asian... Can't direct, can't drive.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.13, "im": 2.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Dude, I'm right here.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Tomorrow you better foam the runways, 'cause I'm bringing my 'A' game.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. He's got her in some kind of hippie collar. I can hear her armpit hair growing from here.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Let's not confine ourselves to your wheelhouse. This problem won't respond to tap dancing or casual revelations that you spent time in New York.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Okay, if you're gonna get all upper East side about this, I think we're done.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Hey, Winger, check out Annie. Somebody just went to the top of my 'to do' list.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Crash course in manipulation... you don't actually tell the person what you want them to do. You help them realize they want to do it so it can't be traced back to you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Maybe it's 'cause I knew her back in high school, before she dropped out. She had braces and acne and a pill addiction and a nervous breakdown ending with her running through a plate-glass door, screaming, 'Everyone's a robot!'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "And she's Jewish? I can't believe I didn't see that.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "She's helplessly in love with you. She's only with Vaughn to get your attention.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "I have the weirdest boner.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "All right, guys, you hear that pause right after he says, 'and a good day'? What do you got for me there?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Oh, buzz, how many times can you keep going to that well? Come on, guys. I'm starting to wonder if you even deserve to call yourselves a community college sketch comedy troupe.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "I told you, on movie night, I need to blow these punks out of the water. I need Phyllis Diller-grade stuff.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "What are you, my third wife's therapist?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "What if he said, 'it's a good day for...' And you said, 'for being gay'?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "You're a genius.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Nah, I'm not looking for my other half. I'm looking for you, girl.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Troy, you're being weird.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Oh, actually, everyone is my bro in the whole entire universe, you know, because everything's connected... rocks, eagles, hats.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Yeah, well some things are more connected than others, like tarantulas and me peeing my pants...", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Is that true, mountain flower?", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Like Britta swore that she didn't like Jeff and then gave him a copy of my poem so he could laugh at me with that Sherri Shepherd Lady?", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Your study group is evil. And you don't deserve ice cream.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Everybody knows you want a cut of the T-bone steak.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Oh, you're even hotter when you're angry. Let's do this. Red shoe diaries... I think you know I have a thing for butt stuff.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "To Annie's inevitable breakup with Grodie J. McConaughey.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "You know that babies are extra cute when their parents are... Both cute?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Hey, guys, thanks for getting involved in my love life. That was super cool and mature of you. Oh, and since you're both clearly idiots, I should probably let you know that I'm being sarcastic.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Hey, guys, thanks for taking ugly Annie out of the palm of my hand and turning her into yet another hottie that will never get with me!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Hey, guys, thanks for eating all the macaroni!", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Shut up, Leonard. Nobody even knows what you're talking about. I did eat all the macaroni. It's messed up that he knows.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "My brother died on the set of that movie. One of the mechanical spiders just went haywire and tore him to pieces. Tom Selleck just stood there. He just stood there and... and watched him die.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Change? Time to change the channel. This guy's gonna be begging for change, he keeps making movies this bad. They should change this movie to something good. I wish this crap-apillar would change into a butterfly and fly away. That's change we can believe in.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you're doing it with the speed and the determination of the incomparable Robin Williams.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Dude, even I know you're lame, and I'm a tenured professor sitting in a beanbag chair.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Fine! You got me. I did a little advance work. Pathetic? No, I'll tell you what's pathetic... you all sitting there making fun of other people's work.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "What's the matter? Mama Chang didn't breast-feed?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "She read in a book that it wouldn't make a difference.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "[Crash] Biggest laugh of the night.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Then I was gonna say, 'it's a good day to be gay.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "You're not my mom, Britta. She would never wear boots that go up that High.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "What? Yeah, that kiss wasn't for pleasure. It was strategic and joyless.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "You did get weirdly specific when you were describing Annie's body.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Check your email.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "I'll mark you as spam.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Who the hell is Pam?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "When you guys first came in, we were as wholesome and healthy as the family in the Brady Bunch. And now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous as the cast of the Brady Bunch.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.71, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "First of all, I don't talk like that, and second of all, where I'm from, it's perfectly normal for women to talk about their male friends' backsides.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "They're just jealous.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "All right, all right, maybe we're not a family. Maybe it's more complicated, because unlike a real family, there's nothing to stop any one of us from looking at any of the others as a sexual prospect.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "I threw my phone into the river. I thought that, you know, if I can't be with her, who am I gonna call? And then I thought, you know, well, my landlord, my sister, and... You.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "I like your nose", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "His songs are dumber than he is.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Vaughn wants to show me a cloud that looks like a pumpkin...", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "Yeah, but they're honest.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "So just to be clear, I don't have a shot with any of you?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "I am Kickpuncher. My cyber punch have the power of kicks.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "I am Punchkicker. Meet your match.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "The only thing beyond the reach of my fists is humanity.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "You're sure Britta couldn't do your part?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Romantic Expressionism"}, {"t": "But remember, cupid's face is magic marker on nylon, So love is not only blind But also dizzy and a little belligerent.", "c": ["PA Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "What's the blonde's name, bitter, butter--beetlejuice? Oh, britta.", "c": ["Jeff", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "She says valentine's day ritualizes a connection Between affection and candy So girls can learn the ropes of prostitution.", "c": ["Jeff", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Britta, drunkenly: - Jeff winger. I am calling you. [chuckling] You're probably--whatever. [in a raspy voice] so wassup?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Oh, now it has arrows. That's safe.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "I guess when he said, [in a gravely voice] I'm gonna git you, [cheerfully] uh, he meant chocolates.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Meryl streep has two oscars because of her baking.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Oh, that's sarcasm, but I forgot to inflect. This sounds way more like sarcasm. Inflection is so interesting.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Barnes, troy? Barney miller?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "It destroys the true meaning of valentine's day: The birth of saint valentines.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Can I get you something? Water, smelling salts, An alibi for cobain's suicide?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "No, but you can help yourself to a shorter forehead, A non-keebler nose, and shutting up.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Mm, that stings. I mean, not the words. The clouds of bourbon vapor forming them.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "That's, uh, booty call implication.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Having spent the year denying her attraction to me / Just to be alternative, britta called me. / At 3:00 a.M. Just to ask, / [imitates britta] 'what's up?'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "You've shifted the balance, like in a sitcom When one character sees another one naked.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Is that really a sitcom staple? - No, I have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm abed, I never watch tv.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Yeah, I said, 'we do not study countries in here.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. My bullcrap meter's going crazy.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "And yours is signed, 'love, troy'?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Cutting the gristle off his steak As ruthlessly as he cut off troy and pierce's dignity. Ew! Now he's eating the gristle.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Hey. Moustache. Get me a juice box. Now!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "I got so drunk that I got into a fight With animatronic ben franklin.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Beep, beep, beep. What is going on here? My doody meter's going crazy.", "c": ["Leo (actor)"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 4.43, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "One papa john's commercial, And he thinks he's christian bale.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Tony even saw angela naked on the opening credits Of who's the boss?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "I could never get past the opening credits.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "All right. I'll show britta my penis.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "[slurred speech] I can totally do it. I'm fine. I can drive. I can totally drive right now. Give me my keys.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "He's a young 'the asian guy' from lost.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "They could be put off by her vacuous mannequin face. And her jodie foster severity.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "She has more fights about stuff that doesn't matter Than a youtube comment section.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "I can't feel things With you studying me like a beige praying mantis.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Scorsese drank with de niro.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Looks like the law firm of seacrest and slumdog's Taking the day off.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "They're telling me I can name my price? Oh, my god. At princeton? Come on!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Tonight, you are my bitches.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "You were dancing like that girl In that movie... The kids in detention? - Breakfast club.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Molly ringworm.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "I still can't believe I'm a size 14. I know that 12's a little tight, But I could have pulled it off.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Women's sizes run slimmer. I'm sure you're a 12 everywhere that it counts.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "You look about ready to marry courtney love.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "That's the reverse of my zinger from before.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "I was trying to call britain to order you toffees.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "It sure seems like you and britta are friends The way my mom's pool cleaner was my uncle.", "c": ["Michelle"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "First of all, chubby hubby? I mean, could you pick a scarier flavor?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Well, nice fix, Tweedle Dum and even Tweedler Dum", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Just look away, baby. Just look away.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "girlfriend, girlfriend. I'm sorry. Abed just made a turtle face.", "c": ["Jeff (on voicemail)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "That was the first 20 seconds of a 40-minute message", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "You said he hated fro-yo. Just drive.", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Slut!", "c": ["Random student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.36, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Communication Studies"}, {"t": "Oh, did you pick a special outfit... So you can look sexy shooting pool?", "c": ["Shirley", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "13. - Ah, great, so much for 'baggels.'", "c": ["Troy", "Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "The baggels. You dropped them on the floor. Uh, they're called bagels. I lived in new york, troy. I know what a baggel is.", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "What the hell is wrong with you? What? You say bagel wrong. I say it the same as you. Say it again. Baggel.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "What 'padge' was that? Two 'five -ty' eight.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Strictly speaking, troy, The bible condemns this level of friendship.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "It's just like the notebook, accept, instead of alzheimer's, Abed has-- ahem! Someone who likes him.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Well, whoever she is, she's fat. These thick pencil lines are drawn with a heavy hand.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Unless it's a boy- -then we have to find him for jesus.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Guys! Class is over. I'm trying to get you to leave. Oh...Cool. Pick that up.", "c": ["Chang", "Students"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "If all chinese were psychic, you would have started... Using birth control centuries ago.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "I may have been thrown off... By britta's pronunciation of the word 'bagel.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "How do you pronounce bagel? I don't. Come on. Baggel. Ugh! You're the worst.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "See? It's a fat girl's name. Might as well be gravy jones.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Abed, for guys like you, This kind of opportunity only comes around... Once in a li-- While.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "A time when a simple pillow fight... Between two innocent girls could turn into a steamy night... Of unbridled lust. Britta knows all about it.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "So you guys are gonna can't buy me love me, right? We're gonna what you? You're gonna can't buy me love me.", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Oh, he wants us to love don't cost a thing him. Can't buy me love was the remake for white audiences.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "That's so uncomfortable when they do that. I can't believe it doesn't insult them.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Sure glad there are no old people here. This conversation would probably be total gibberish to them.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Yeah, and then you can take her to a nice deli... And treat her to a baggel.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "You're gonna look like an ass in those. Shut up, leonard. I talked to your son on family day. I know all about your gambling.", "c": ["Leonard", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Whoa! That's her? She's pretty! Wh-which is not a surprise at all, abed.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "What are you doing? - I'm being myself. Go be yourself by jenny.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "But I wouldn't go over there. How do you know that? A lifetime of observation, mostly.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "What the hell was that? A different version of me. I think it was a vampire.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "I-I-I--it's like abed, but employable.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Do you have something against playing pool... With a full range of motion and optimal comfort? I'm comfortable in my own clothes.", "c": ["Coach Bogner", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "I said, I bet you're comfortable... Dressed like a model instead of an athlete, Sippin' martinis and smokin'... Instead of keeping your game on the table!", "c": ["Coach Bogner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "This hipster is dropping this class. Because he cares more about what he looks like... Than how he's playing.", "c": ["Coach Bogner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Vanity, thy name is... His name. It's the first day. I didn't catch it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "I understand--I need to change who I am... To someone more likable. No, no, no, no, sweetie. It's not about changing. It's about learning. Learning to change?", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Because I can't think of anything more frightening... Than a half-polish, half-arab virgin in his 30s. One way or the other, That story ends with an explosion.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "So you're familiar with two sins. How about a third?", "c": ["Abed as Don Draper"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Then you picked the wrong outfit. Didn't you?", "c": ["Abed as Don Draper"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Don draper from mad men. What'd you think? Weird. Awesome. Put your tongue in her ear.", "c": ["Abed", "Annie", "Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Don't be him. He cheats on his wife. Be somebody nice, like mike brady. He always had that housekeeper throwing herself at him, And he never made a move on her.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "You should be like jo from facts of life. But, you know, the dude version. I knew it.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "You should be like calvin. His best friend was a tiger. He always went on dope adventures. If anything stood in his way, he just peed on it. Calvin coolidge?", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "10% dick van dyke, 20% sam malone, 40% zach braff from scrubs, And 30% hilary swank in boys don't cry.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Because I don't look cool in shorts! Oh! 'cause I'm not cool in shorts! that was good. Just like him. That was really good.", "c": ["Jeff", "Group"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "I don't want to spoil the ending, but, uh... Pride ends up with prejudice. that's funny. I know. Stick with me, and you'll get a laugh or two. That's the abed guarantee.", "c": ["Abed as Jeff", "Jenny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Oh, my god. It's a white abed. I-I-I--it's like abed, but employable.", "c": ["Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Jeff winger, I've been informed by coach bogner that you left your panties in his pool class. So better pick those up.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "When is he gonna stop doing that? Do you know that he called me a hipster! Hipster! I mean, do hipsters walk around... Wearing $300 jeans from Italy?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Well, I hate to say that I told you so. So I'll shout it through cupped hands. I told you so!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Those are the big three. That's what they call them.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "So does that make abed 'brown joey'? If you want to get racist about it.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Or they trick me into buying them ice cream... And then shove me into a clothes dryer.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "The truth is, lots of girls like me, Because, let's face it, I'm pretty adorable. And my aloofness unconsciously reminds them... Of their fathers, so...", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Britta, I got sel f-esteem falling out of my butt.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Because when you really know who you are... And what you like about yourself, Changing for other people isn't such a big deal. Abed... You're a god.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Is that code for going number one... Or number two?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "I don't care how I say the word 'baggel.' 'baggel.' She said 'baggel.' Would you like another one? 'baggel.'", "c": ["Britta", "Group"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Now, do you want to talk about clothes like a girl? Or use tapered sticks to hit balls... Around a cushioned table... Like a man?", "c": ["Coach Bogner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Stop projecting your obsession with clothes onto me... As an excuse for when I beat you in a game... Of real pool!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Stop projecting your obsession with clothes onto me... As an excuse for when I beat you in a game... Of real pool!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Three to one against winger. Who's on?", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "But years from now, when the story's retold, All they're gonna remember... Is one of us loved clothes. And the other loved... The game.", "c": ["Coach Bogner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "I choose shorts. I choose shorts! Shorts! you son of a bitch. You magnificent son of a bitch!", "c": ["Jeff", "Coach Bogner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Man...Why couldn't I be brown joey?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Physical Education"}, {"t": "Oh, speaking of, I was going to invite my mom so you could meet her, but, uh, she still thinks I'm a lawyer.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "The human being has a little human with it-- How blood curdlingly adorable.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "What's wrong? Are you breaking up with me? Oh. [giggles] Maybe we don't need to talk.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Hope they're not twins. Twins freak me out. They always know what the other one is-- Thinking? Yeah. And they're always finishing each other's-- Pie. Exactly. It's creepy.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "My sister likes to joke that they don't recognize me anymore, and I like to joke that she's just jealous because she's barren.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Does she look like you but in a wig and lipstick? No, that's Halle Berry.", "c": ["Unknown", "Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "You cherish her. I'm sure I will. You know she's not gonna be around forever. I wanna believe you're right, Britta. But you never quite are, are you?", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "I'll give Jeff a shoulder to cry on, and you boys go put a dead bird in that bitch's glove compartment.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Your heart's desensitized, Jeff. Like a machine, it feels no love--just sex. You're like the booty-nator.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Why would the booty-nator be back with booty? Wouldn't he just try and kill it? Well, maybe he kills it and then brings it back as a trophy. Why would you want dead booty? I want pirate's booty. Because you're hungry?", "c": ["Abed", "Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Well, you're too gorgeous to be a teacher, and you're too happy to be a student.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "No, actually, it's a very big world with five billion other women in it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "I'm back. Without booty. Now I feel sorry for you.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "I'm back. Without booty. Now I feel sorry for you.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Orange alert! Sorry, they're just excited.", "c": ["Shirley", "Elijah", "Jordan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "And that's Elijah, like the prophet, and Jordan, like the 14 time NBA all-star.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Is that how you say hello? That's my name. Oh! I'm sorry. You're like a black ghost.", "c": ["Shirley", "Gubi"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Over the course of seven marriages, I've amassed some 32 stepchildren. And obviously, Amber's my favorite.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "But judging from that bluetooth headset, his son is. Cha-ching!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Everyone here is my family. [Everyone boos] Weak.", "c": ["Jeff", "Group"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "And it's none of your business, but I ate my twin in utero.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "The call girls I frequent are not nearly as attractive as my daughter. Stepdaughter. Technically ex-stepdaughter.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "You want me to wingman you with your ex-stepdaughter?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Disappointing you is like choking the little mermaid with a bike chain.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Tell me, how many men do you think I've laid with?", "c": ["Nana"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "A switch is a stick she can use to whup you with.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Cherish, Britta. Cherish.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Se\u00f1or Chang? Yeah. Ben, do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? Okay, that is who I am. So drop it!", "c": ["Chang", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "They're like Islamic turtlenecks.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Now she says he's a pig anus.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Not only did he join a band, they got jealous and booted him. Get out. That's exactly what they said.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "My...Girlfriend... Is pregnant. Pierce said you were gay. He-- yep, as the sunrise. And I'm deeply ashamed.", "c": ["Jeff", "Amber"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Yeah, my mom told me there'd be white people that did this. With pocket watches, and coffee grinders, and pretending to be into steam boats.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Smiling...Sideways vagina. No. Happy...Sideways vagina. No. Happy face. And that's a clam? 'As happy as a clam.' Yes! 'As happy as a clam'? What a-- Gay guess. Idiot.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "This isn't gonna stop until Pictionary bans the word 'windmill.'", "c": ["Cop"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Drop your pants and get over my lap.", "c": ["Nana"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "All you have to do is walk away.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "I don't understand you, Britta. I don't understand you at all.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Well, it helps that he's kind of desperate and stupid.", "c": ["Amber"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "You're gross! You did it with her? Yeah, but not twice. I wanted to do it twice.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "You're gross! You did it with her? Yeah, but not twice. I wanted to do it twice.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "You're faster than some bacteria.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "You really suck, you know that?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Ding dongs are my favorite.", "c": ["Nana Barnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "I said you were a monster, ma'am. And you said Troy was right. Get me a switch.", "c": ["Britta", "Nana"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Yeah. I'll take the 25 grand. Over him, I'd take 25 cents.", "c": ["Amber"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Who did you call last week after you farted on Vaughn? [laughing] You. And who did Abed call after that squirrel stole his hot dog? Me. That's sharing your life. If you have friends, you have family.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "You know, if the roles were reversed, I would've had sex with your ex-stepdaughter. I did.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "I hate Glee. I'm not crazy about Glee either. [sobbing] I hate it. I don't understand the appeal at all.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "Troy? I think I hit G-13.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Basic Genealogy"}, {"t": "I caught the tail end of what cinemax gets up to at night. Subscription canceled. I got that channel for eddie murphy movies, Not stimulation.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Ah, well, I'll play a violin for them, And maybe she can strip to it.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "This class is like a redhead that drinks scotch and loves die hard. I suggest you all get her number.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Singing with tennille?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "But the nearest body of water is 2 1/2 hours away. Leagues, abed. We don't measure water by hours.", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Ha ha ha hee ha ha ho ho hey.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I was going to take a class on how to put together an online dating profile, but I think sailing in the parking lot is less pathetic.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "A black person on a sailboat? I gotta see this. I'm in.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "There's black people. Mm-hmm, there's two.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Hello, ladies. What are you guys making, Big balls here? Oh, yeah. You guys getting dirty?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Ladies, I don't know why you're laughing. I really do want to make my mom an ashtray.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Hello, my precious blueberries.", "c": ["Pottery Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I will tolerate no reenacting, whether it's ironic or sincere, of the patrick swayze, demi moore pottery scene in ghost.", "c": ["Pottery Teacher"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "This could be guy-on-girl, girl-on-guy... The hilarious guy-on-guy.", "c": ["Pottery Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "If you so much as hum three notes from that righteous brothers song, with god is my witness, I will come at you. With everything I've got.", "c": ["Pottery Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I'm making falafel. Not edible.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Look what I made. Participant badge.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "You look at me. you have a gift.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Jeff's competitive side had come out before. He had even displayed envy. But on that first day of pottery class, he discovered-- Abed. Yeah. What did we discuss? No voiceover. Sorry. It is kind of a crutch.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.49, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Welcome aboard the s. S. Nose candy, Recently purchased through government auction.", "c": ["Professor Slaughter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I commanded a jet ski through an electrical storm and only had one casualty. Jet skis only hold two people. Exactly. Saved half the crew.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Oh, that's nice. It's not nice- it's your only weapon Against the raging sea.", "c": ["Shirley", "Professor Slaughter"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Someone call a shrink. What? Well, you're usually the cool one.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Cat's pajamas? Okay, pierce.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Yes, I was robbed at the ymca. Again.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "You're special. You're very special, jeff. You're the most special little boy in the world.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I don't see students here. I see seamen. And I didn't create them. From the moment you climbed aboard, I saw seamen inside you. More importantly, you've stopped giggling At the word 'seamen.' And that's the mark of a real seaman.", "c": ["Professor Slaughter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Damn, he's ghost riding the jib.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "It landed on that hyundai. I mean, mermaid's car.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "You really screwed the pooch on that one, captain. and I can't swim.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "But my medical degree does. I'm a doctor. A doctor? I just take pottery to unwind. Haven't lost a patient in five years. Puts a lot of pressure on a person.", "c": ["Rich", "Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "But I'll have to get a second opinion from a guy in my basket weaving class.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "You know, a conman. A grifter. A ringer. He's an expert potter who signs up for novice classes to impress people.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Well, anyone could be a lawyer. You can even represent yourself. You can't do surgery on yourself. It's illegal. You'd get arrested. And then you'd get a free lawyer.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Rich just showed me how to make a flared lip on my pot and check for breast lumps.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I wanna kiss you on the mouth. I'm sorry?", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm being interrogated, but by someone who doesn't really want to know anything important.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Nobody gets out of santa fe without learning how to make a pot. 45% hispanic, Fifth highest native american population. They eat and breathe clay there.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I think some of this research may have been done on wikipedia.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Oh, jeff... You're goldbluming. I'm goldbluming? Heh, I, uh... I-I-I don't know what that means.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Now I know what the 'c' in 'captain' stands for. crabapple.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "If the sea was always still and calm, nobody would respect her. I'm like the sea.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I hope I get multiple personalities. I get lonely in long showers.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Is that nautical talk or urban speak?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I said we don't have time. What? No. Wha--wait. Pull me in. What do you mean 'time'? I--that's it. Wha-- No! Nooo!", "c": ["Shirley", "Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Get out of my parking spot, dip-wad! Security!", "c": ["Random Person"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Fatal mistake, richy boy. You...Are...Busted. I am? You just used the throwing off the hump method. That's an advanced pottery technique, which I know, because last night, I read the entire encyclopedia of pottery.", "c": ["Jeff", "Rich"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Hey! No! What are you-- It's the hilarious guy-on-guy. One rule I asked you to follow. One.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pottery Teacher"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "You failed a class so easy that people pass it in the hallway Get a contact credit!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "\u266a oh \u266a \u266a my love \u266a \u266a my darlin' \u266a You son of a-- \u266a I've hungered for your touch \u266a No! Nooo! This is abuse! This is abuse! Stop it! That is a satanic sound!", "c": ["Potter", "Pottery Teacher"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "This is abuse! This is abuse! Stop it! That is a satanic sound!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Uh, they drowned me. Why? For a better grade.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Jeffrey, when I was born, I got my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck, both arms, and one of my ankles. Mom said that there came a point when the doctors stopped delivering me and just started laughing.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "That thing some men call failure, I call living. Breakfast. And I'm not leaving till I've cleaned out the buffet.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Don't need it. Never had it.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Man, that guy's life is one, big joke. I mean, I feel bad for him, but things have been running smoother since he drowned.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Pierce is going to be the only person ever to drown in a parking lot. Twice.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "I am about to get the only 'a' I will ever get, and pierce isn't even dying.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "The sea may be cold and unforgiving, but I'm not. The ship might go down, but, uh... At least she'll go down with honor.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Jeff, you're a normal person. There's nothing very special about you at all. You're going to be great at a few things, but really crappy at many more. And that takes a lot of the pressure off, so you can live a full, happy life.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Jeff, you're a normal person. There's nothing very special about you at all. You're going to be great at a few things, But really crappy at many more.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "And it was only in your imagination. My bad. Kind of a sloppy mom.", "c": ["Jeff's Mom (imaginary)"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "A clay ashtray. You're an idiot. Why do you have time to make pottery? Couldn't you use a little more practice being a doctor?", "c": ["Jeff's Mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Why do you have time to make pottery? Couldn't you use a little more practice being a doctor? Not that it'll ever bring your brother back to life. It was supposed to be you on that roller coaster, richard. It was supposed to be you!", "c": ["Rich's Mom (imaginary)"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Beginner Pottery"}, {"t": "Good morning, greendale! As you know, it is April fool's day. Just kidding--it's the day before April fool's.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Baba booey, baba booey, baba booey.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "You know what, leonard? Strike two!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Physically safe, politically balanced, and racially accessible", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Huh, reminds me of my favorite college comedy. - Oh, which one? - Exactly.", "c": ["Jeff", "Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "That's a buddy cop movie I would watch. But I wonder which of you would be by the book, And which of you would be the bad-ass.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Oh, abed, you're so silly. I'd be the bad-ass.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "I know. I was speechless too.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Even better if it goes down the wrong-- The wrong pipe.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Any bonuses to your kombat score?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "I assume I'll fight better if I can see more. Dumb ass.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Abed, how fast can you run to the theater department? 37 seconds. Don't come back without something ridiculous. Go. Got it.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Guys, you realize you're exploiting the naivete Of a man who is being brainwashed by a cult?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Oh, well, it sounds a lot less fun when you say it. Everything does. She's a buzz kill.", "c": ["Unknown", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "You're more of a fun vampire, Because you don't suck blood, you just suck.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Of course, the only one who doesn't like this is britta. Do you ever get tired of being a buzz kill?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "I hereby deputize you As campus security for 48 hours. Your windbreakers.", "c": ["Security Chief"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Your whistles. Oh! Oh, okay.", "c": ["Security Chief", "Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Okay, now, I only have the one pepper spray. It's mine. But I'll just get my groceries In a better neighborhood this week.", "c": ["Security Chief"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Between the two of us, I'm sort of the bad-ass. You are? Uh, how do you figure?", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "A twist on a classic formula. Normally, with buddy cops, One's a straight-laced stickler, And the other's a renegade. But these two have equal claim to both roles.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "And why are you here? Well, short answer: My cable went out.", "c": ["Unknown", "Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "The frog is chang. Oh, okay. I did get it. It's funny.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "My prank is gonna cause a sea of laughter, And I am gonna watch you drown in it.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Jeff, I can read minds. No way. What color am I thinking of? Pink?", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Maybe it's a piece of meteor. Buddha arrived on a meteor!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "I am the coolest guy In the world.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "I'm se\u00f1or chang. Now tell me that's not funny.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Someone dropped a dead body out that window.", "c": ["Security Chief"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Don't worry, your school's reputation Is way worse than this.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Mornin', boys. I'm annie edison. People call me 'psycho' Because I had a nervous breakdown in high school.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "My partner's a christian housewife. Can we help you?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "I tend to play by my own rules. She loves rules. I only have one. Stay out of my way. Stay out of mine more.", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "At greendale, April 1st Is officially March 32nd, forever!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Why are you dressed like a wizard?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Okay, is he having a stroke?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "And we ruled out your teacher, Because he has a crippling fear of frogs. I told you that in confidence!", "c": ["Dean", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Harry was a wonderful man. He kept a dream journal. Page one. 'I had that dream again where I'm in a forest. But the trees are pencils.'", "c": ["Glenda"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "You single-handedly killed an entire school's buzz, Not to mention a frog.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Star-burns doesn't do very much. I guess fascinating people Don't resort to growing shapes on their faces.", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "That's what my high school friends called crazy.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Edison. the man you're looking for Is jeff winger. I didn't recognize the voice.", "c": ["Annie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Holy mary, mother of pearl. What do we have here? Looks like enough tiny items To equip an amphibious mariachi band. Of frogs.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Stop, or I'll shoot! I said stop!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "He got away because of your driving, grandma. Oh, I beg your pardon. Hannah montana!", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "He ran between two poles.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "I'm sick and tired Of making excuses for you two! You're an embarrassment to the department! You're off the case and off the force.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "All I see is a housewife and a girl scout.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "That african-american police chief character Abed was playing was right.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Nice frame job, britta-dict arnold.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Colonial burn.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "This process may alarm you. Ooh! Gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay. So gay. Dark nightclub. Throbbing music. Men's roo-- men's room stall. Penis! Two penises!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Who can confirm that? Your mama.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Knock knock! Who's there? Cancer! Oh, good! Come on in! I thought it was britta!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "I don't even deserve this buddhist meteor wand. it's not a meteor! It's a cookie wand!", "c": ["Pierce", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "the cookie crisp mascot Wasn't a wizard when I was a kid. It was a burglar. I just... Pretended like I knew Because I wanted jeff to think I was smart.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "You're like the dark cloud that unites us. Or the anti-winger.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "ooh, my name's jeff winger. hey, I'm jeff winger. I'm so tall. Ah, this watch is expensive. - Muscles are everywhere.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Oh, we're not filming this. No, who'd want to watch this?", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The Science of Illusion"}, {"t": "Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase, \"streets ahead.\" Trying? Coined and minted. Been there, coined that. \"streets ahead\" is verbal wildfire.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "He specifically asked about me? - Mm-hmm. - Sure. When Annie brought you up, he specifically asked, 'who is that?' Abed. - Oh. - What? That's what he said.", "c": ["Abed", "Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "'streets ahead' is verbal wildfire.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "If you have to ask, you're street's fine.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "If God were edible-- not that I'm catholic, But if it was cool to eat God, He'd be a chicken finger.", "c": ["Unknown student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "And if you guys knew how they treated The animals that you are eating, You would eat them even faster Just to put them out of their misery And then you would throw up.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "He has diabetes. He can't even make it to the litter box-- Chicken run! Whoo! I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to put her to sleep.", "c": ["Britta", "Students"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Oh, I can hear those fingers calling my name. \"Troy! Troy!\" Troy, did you get my text message? \"did you get my text message?\"", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "I got to stop hanging out with her. She sounds like a chicken finger.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Well... Throat surgery might humanize you, But it doesn't make this acceptable.", "c": ["Unknown student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "His dreadlocks remind me of the predator, Which is weird, because you're doing the actual hunting And you seem invisible to him.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Before I talk, I ask myself, \"what am I about to say And how might it affect each person listening?\" I'm really glad you said that, britta. The idea that you compulsively filter yourself Makes your lack of flavor kind of a flavor.", "c": ["Britta", "Abed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be in a mafia movie.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "That's exactly what it's like, Abed, And you get the most important job. You're gonna be fry cook. We may be watching different mafia movies.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "You want to be sheep, keep flocking. You want to be wolves, form a pack.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Trump tower, this is Donald. Well, he can deep-fry the hell out of chicken. I can tell you that.", "c": ["Troy", "Donald Trump (voice)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Would you like one? Name's Shirley. Memorize it.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "I dressed like a crazy pharaoh for you, man.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Yeah, I agreed to give Cheng eight fingers per lunch In exchange for a 10% bump on every Spanish test For each of us.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Troy, why do you have a monkey? Uh, it's an animal that looks like a dude. Why don't I have ten of them?", "c": ["Unknown", "Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "I am a robot. I am programmed to love this backpack.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "More insane than programming them To replace auto workers? What?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Pierce's hackneyed entourage. Hackneyed? You see the turban guy? Yes, in a '90s ski movie That featured an entourage.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Isn't that right, Annie's boobs? Please rename that thing! And this time, not with a contest on Twitter!", "c": ["Troy", "Annie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "You wouldn't threaten a monkey. They have more lactic acid than us.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Streets ahead!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Your ego. Well... I see. I see. This has been about me the whole time.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Oh, and for your information, I don't have an ego. My facebook photo is a landscape.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "You want a shot at the Jeff winger throne? You better bring a powerful ass.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Can we make this quick? I need to give a banana to Annie's boobs.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Say \"streets ahead\" and die.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Streets ahead.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Yeah, I got you fired. You deserved it. Maybe. Maybe not. The question is: What do they deserve?", "c": ["Jeff", "Star-Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Yeah, I got you fired. You deserved it. Maybe. Maybe not. The question is: What do they deserve?", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no. My monkey hates this caviar.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Annie's boobs could be anywhere. Annie's boobs could be on the side of the road. We got it. The monkey's name is 'annie's boobs.'", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "That little arab is off his rocker. He released Annie's boobs. Annie's boobs could be anywhere. Annie's boobs could be on the side of the road.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "You were right. Now what you can do is go home And write that on your bathroom mirror. Wouldn't that make it seem like I was right? Yeah, because it would be my mirror. It's not gonna be reversed because you're the one who--", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "It's not that complicated, Jeff. They replaced the \"c\" in circle with a \"z\" for zucchini.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "I just need to be able to connect to people like you can, And then I can make everyone happy Like you do.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "By the way, they started using that As a seasonal arc on law & order. Total rip off.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Like knight rider. Exactly. Like knight rider. I'll put on a leather jacket And make out with an aerobics instructor. You pull around front and comedically Startle passersby with your ability to talk.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Can we eat them while sitting on a table Like in sixteen candles? Pick one reference, Abed.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "Do you know who might have stolen A box of hairnets from the kitchen? Someone with hair. I'm gonna write that down.", "c": ["Security", "Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Contemporary American Poultry"}, {"t": "I got a 'b' on my nutrition final, And I am celebrating with pie and a dollop of whipped irony.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Fresh kitten? I go to a shelter And rescue an animal that genuinely needs my help. Why do you think I am knitting a tiny, little eye patch?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Can you tell us exactly what you did In your lives to end up here So that we don't make the same mistakes?", "c": ["High School Student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Because if I end up 35 And celebrating a 'b' In nutrition in community college, I'll kill myself.", "c": ["High School Student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Listen, it is a studio apartment, And knitting is hip. Winona Ryder knits.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Who?", "c": ["High School Student"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Schmitty! Schmitty. Schmits! Schmitty.", "c": ["High School Students"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "I helped build a school in Kenya. I once met sting at a cracker barrel.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "You are 105 years old! Tell me exactly what you did with your life to end up here So I don't make the same mistakes!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "But it's springtime, and I thought I might woo a few chicks.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Animal house. A reference my ears applaud. I couldn't resist. Smashing the guitar of someone Singing a cloying love song Was on my quintessential college experience list.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Bond with a group of loveable misfits. Check. Take on the school bully. Check. Make out with the hottest girl On campus. Check-a-rooni.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "I'll be like your Morgan Freeman. Like in the bucket list. The what?", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Pantsing someone was on my list. It would have been better if you were wearing The standard giant hearts on underwear, but I'll take it.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Well, I hope getting pantsed Is on your list. Ha-ha! It is.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "There's a grandpa schlip-schlap. 'Have you seen my Schmitty, Sonny?' 'Help me. I'm gonna crap my pants.' 'Someone help me.'", "c": ["High School Students"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, is she wearing a discman?", "c": ["High School Student"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.41, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Discmans are retro. Oh, is retro when you're 30 And broke and can't afford an iPod, Schmitty?", "c": ["Annie", "High School Student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Oh, bug-a-bah.", "c": ["High School Student"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "That is the pot calling the kettle... A kettle, okay.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Oh, you can say black, Pierce. I'm a black woman. The cat is out the bag. You have literally identified me To strangers as 'the black woman.'", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "I call the other women 'flat-butt' And 'the one abed wants to nail.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "So what's the context For constantly referring to me as a lesbian? If the wallet chain fits.", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "He still assumes I'm a terrorist. If you're not, I'm sorry. And if you are, I'm a hero. I'm willing to take that chance.", "c": ["Abed", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "You said I have a crafty, Jew brain. Nobody knows how to take a compliment anymore.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Get ready to meet Jeff Winger, esquire, Attorney at 'ah, snap.' It'll be better than that.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Hey, clearasil, What time your mommy's picking you up? After she's done shooting The real housewives of Greendale county?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "'After she's done shooting The real housewives of Greendale county.' Duh! That's a clever retort. 'That's a clever retort.' duh. Brilliant. 'Brilliant.' duh.", "c": ["High School Students"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Mimicry is the lowest form-- Stop talking. Stop talking. Duh!", "c": ["Jeff", "High School Student"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Thanks. Must have been hard for you to say that. It's called sarcasm, Troy. Ask the goat to explain it to you.", "c": ["Troy", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "My Uncle was struck by lightning. You think it'd give you superpowers, But now he just masturbates in theaters.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "We've lost our Cliff Clavin. Our George Costanza. Our turtle.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Well, I sure as hell am not gonna be the new Pierce. And if all we need is an escape-goat, I think we should just let this one go.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "How do you pronounce bagel again? Bah-gel. She calls bagels bah-gels.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "When you found out I was Jewish, You invited me to a pool party That turned out to be a baptism. Well, excuse me for trying to sneak you into heaven.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Troy and I are pledging the cool fraternity, and unbeknownst to us, we're actually the target of ridicule and don't have a chance in hell of getting in. Yeah. They're making us walk around with pretzels in our butts. I put mustard on mine like an idiot.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "I'm not wearing my contacts. These are mine. Give them to me. Oh, but I'm a bag guy. You even have the same bag, so I thought, you know...", "c": ["Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "You need to bang that kid's mom.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Because then anything that he says about you... He'll be saying to a dude that banged his mom!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "I think I might be where should I be.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Boobatron's great. And once someone spills bong water On his circuitry and he comes alive, He's gonna make us the coolest guys on campus And help us get babes.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Ridiculous situation descending into heavy-handed drama For the illusion of story. Ch-ch-ch-ch. Check.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Just so you know, I'm Shirley. Wouldn't want you reaching for me Should you get a hankering for pancakes.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Please, you think Annie and Britta Invite me when they take Those little weekend trips to the mall? They just think of me as some sort of mom.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Did someone just take a Schmitty?", "c": ["High School Student"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Yeah. So's the dumb whore who's in on it.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "I raised a winner who will continue to crush Junior college losers like you. Ooh! Schmitty!", "c": ["Chantel", "Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "'What are you looking at?' duh! 'What are you looking at? Duh!' duh! School his ass, mark. 'School his ass, mark.' duh! Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh! D-d-duh! Duh!", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta", "High School Students"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Jeff and Britta have the two most fragile egos Of the group. These kids will pretty much destroy them.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "You're the Schmitties. No, no, we're minors. Yeah. I'm calling the cops.", "c": ["Annie", "High School Students"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Food fight!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "George Washington lemon fresca. That's a horrible porn name.", "c": ["Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Henry David Thoreau diet squirt.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "How many pornos have you been in? 6,012. How many pornos have you been in, George Washington lemon fresca? 2,019. It's my first week.", "c": ["Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "Someone here order a pizza? Is it you guys? It has extra sausage. No. It's big and hot. That's my pizza. But you took longer than 30 minutes, So I'm not paying.", "c": ["Pizza Delivery Guy", "Study Group"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The Art of Discourse"}, {"t": "He's the one trying to bring back disco. I don't have to be old to know it's not gonna happen.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "What it is, soul brother.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "My boys are gonna make me breakfast in bed For mother's day. Well, actually, I'm gonna make the breakfast and get in bed, But they're gonna bring it to me.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Well, if you're gonna be the fun police-- Okay, well, if I'm the fun police, Then you're director of Funland security.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "To be blunt, Jeff and Britta is no Ross and Rachel. Your sexual tension and lack of chemistry Are putting us all on edge, which is why, ironically-- And hear this on every level-- You're keeping us from being friends.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Who are Sam and Diane? Okay, we get it. You're young! Sorry.", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Want my advice? Pork her and move on. We did it all the time in my day.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you also put hydrogen in blimps, And that was bad.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Ha. He makes me uncomfortable. Mm. Still in the room.", "c": ["Unknown", "Dean"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "With a prize for last man standing. Or last man in a wheelchair with no paint on him. Or last woman.", "c": ["Dean", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "It was a blu-ray DVD player, but it was stolen. So now it's tbd.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "I want tbd. Is that new? If it's what I think, I had it for about a month in the '70s.", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "He said, fully erect.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Well, I'm gonna let you guys figure this out While I go take a nap in my car.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "We--we turned on each other like...Like animals!", "c": ["Unknown survivor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Leonard, I'm not playing! Everyone's playing!", "c": ["Jeff", "Leonard"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Come with me if you don't want paint on your clothes.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Jeff winger. You son of a bitch! I thought you were dead, man!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Priority registration.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Easy, sugar bear.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Talk him through the hunger, Abed.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "They say the glee club is luring stragglers Into sniper traps with cheery renditions of hit songs.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Really? And people fall for that? Yeah. I mean, I'm all for winning, But let's not resort to cheap ploys.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Are the girls in the game? You mean Britta? No, I don't mean Britta. Did I say Britta? Twice now.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "He's a pawn.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Checkmate, bitches.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "And tell the drama club Their tears will be real today.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "I'm wearing a diaper for the game. Oh, yeah. 'for the game.'", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Yeah? You gonna win the whole game camped on a crapper?", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "You thinking what I'm thinking? Mm-hmm. Our team's walking with God.", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "That'd be great p.R. For the black students. I am not an ambassador. I am gladiator.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Troy made God mad! Take cover!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "* hit me with your best shot * Oh, brother! * why don't you hit me with your best shot * That is so uninspired!", "c": ["Glee Club", "Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Screw you! I'm coming over there.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Write some original songs!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "I am so sick of you guilting people With your phony humanitarian schtick.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Oh, look, it's post-ironic disco st... You still trying to bring it back? Hi! Wha-ha! Damn, he brought it back.", "c": ["Troy", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "No, seriously, I'm going home. Can you help me up? Oh. Yeah, sure. Oh!", "c": ["Shirley", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Shirley, I'm gonna win that prize But not for you and your boys. That's less nice.", "c": ["Britta", "Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "What? Oh, no. Wait, wait. It's blood. I thought it was paint, but I'm just bleeding. Talk about luck, ooh.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "I play paintball three times a week, bro. I'm even one of those douche bags That brings in his own equipment.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "The wounded soldier fantasy Means we're moments from doing it, right?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Yes. Too...Much... Sexual..Tension! Dam...Bursting! Blah blah! Aaah!", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Yeah, we don't want this To turn into a letter to penthouse, right?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Please tell me you didn't have sex with me to win at paintball. No, I had sex with you, And now I'm gonna win at paintball.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "You seem pretty practiced at putting on panties one-handed While holding a gun.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Said the woman wearing the hello Kitty underwear. Said the woman holding the gun.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "You sure that's a gun? 'cause maybe it's a metaphor for your fake, jaded persona.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Buenos dias, children. Critical media literacy and politics of gender, biatch!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Maybe it's the fact there's no such thing As priority registration. Or...Maybe it's this. Ta-DA!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Okay, now, it's not blu-ray, But it comes with its own remote, so... Aah!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "It didn't happen. It's not that it was a mistake. It's just that it didn't happen.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Something's changed. Oh, Abed. Crazy Abed. No, something's different now.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Could be me. I'm sporting a man-thong. Maybe.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "For legal purposes, next semester, If anybody asks, you have gout. Do you mind walking with a limp?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Hey, Abed, it's Troy. Meet you at the flagpole in... If you are satisfied with your message, press one.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Hey, Abed, your girlfriend Will meet you at the flagpole in ten minutes.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Maybe you should just send a text message. Yeah.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "Modern Warfare"}, {"t": "Will anyone back me up if I say this is ridiculous or is it gonna be another avatar situation?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "You mean 'nerd alert.' - Alert nerd.", "c": ["Unknown", "Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "I know the family downstairs hates me. I don't need to understand why.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Yeah, you be the cool guy, Jeff. And next fall when that gets lonely, I'll be in the front row of a Spanish 103.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Monday through Friday, 6:00 am. 6:00...", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "You just 'go girled' yourself. - Shut up. - See, it's fun!", "c": ["Troy", "Shirley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "To buy a flying car?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "It's obvious from your name your parents smoked pot.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Hola, el losers.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Other side of the door.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "I prefer the term 'better than real,' but yes.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Two questions. Where did you get it, could you have prevented being caught, and how? One question. Where did you learn to count questions and are you telling me you need a fake degree?", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Did you say 'key-tar' or did you just pronounce guitar like a hillbilly? Key-tar. It's a keyboard you can play like a guitar. Get with the times, man.", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "I'm supposed to tip my bag boy?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "I faked my way into a job as a Spanish teacher at a community college relying on phrases from sesame street.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "That was the chair. Good. Good.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "If the Dean finds out that I'm not a real teacher, your grades are invalid, and you'll all have to repeat this class. That was the chair.", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Um, he's not faking his death again, is he? Because I can't handle that roller coaster. First he's alive. And then we're happy. And then he's alive again and...", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Word of advice, if an Asian man says he's a Spanish teacher, it's not racist to ask for proof, okay? You ignore your mother's voice and get right into that horse's mouth.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Listen to this back and forth. It's like I'm at an embassy.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "She wants a large coffee.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "El crappo.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "And why is she teaching Spanish if she's a doctor? Go cure something.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "I know. Yours is a 2002. That's the year I heard it.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "You're wearing protective goggles to destroy my car? Safety first!", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Oh, oh, uh, we're writing a song. For the battle of bands.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "At one point, I was teaching you Klingon! Yeah? Why don't you tell that to your really weird sounding magical chair? I have a condition!", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "You could be a plumber.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Maybe it's one of those recessive genes. I can also curl my tongue. Who else?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Because you didn't get hot until after High School.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "'That's true.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Someone make her a dude so I can punch her.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "'Someone make her a dude so I can punch her.'", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Now she is going to make the Disney face. Her lip is gonna quiver and her eyes will flutter, but they won't ever actually close.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "She's the ark of the covenant!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Picture her as Paul Giamatti!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Did the sisterhood of the traveling pants poison each other's food so they were too sick to leave? No! I've never seen it, but I'm pretty sure they mailed each other pants!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "That's what my rehab group used to say. The only one that keeps in touch is the guy that sells jewelry made out of bottle caps.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Here's a b-side from that album, antelope slaughter at Ndutu.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "You have to know how to do it. Discrimination lawsuit.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Troy, you know what the best part of my day is? For about 10 seconds from the time I sit down in Spanish to the time I look at your desk, 'cause I think 'maybe I'll look and he won't be there.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "It's from a movie. Well, then the movie it's from is terrible.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "uh, I'm friends with Hannah too. The whole class is. And you can't have an exam without a class. Right, guys? We love Hannah! We love Hannah!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Oh, no! The devil told the truth!", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "I was showing Annie the magic of electronic sampling. No--no--no--no-- no--no--nooooooo!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "And you don't have to dress like this to grow up. You--you look like a travel Agent.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "You--you look like a travel Agent.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Uh, like the first season of the wire.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "Hey, thanks... For making it easy. I was going to say the same to you... But you were gone before breakfast. I'm an early riser. I'll say.", "c": ["Jeff", "Dr. Escodera"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "English as a Second Language"}, {"t": "And I hope you'll be seizing a more contemporary movie.", "c": ["Jeff", "Professor Whitman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Stroke or tai chi? Tai chi. Keep it up.", "c": ["Jeff", "Leonard"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "It's called 'chillaxing'. Duh!", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Oh, shoot. I forgot saying that summons him.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Banana rhino. Banana Sam Elliott. LeVar 'Banana' Burton. Banana King Tut.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "B... banana penis. Sure, you would've loved it if he did it.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Remember how hard we laughed when we first heard the term 'teacher's aids'? Yeah. And then we found out a teacher did have aids.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Money's tight, so I hope I can convince them for one more year that motels are tiny, little theme parks.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Finally. Thank God. Hope he transfers to hell.", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "And there's a vote, and if you win, they put a crown on your head, and I am so jealous, Britta, I want to murder you.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Amazing. He's like an evil genie.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Some folks say 'transfer formal' isn't really rolling off the tongue, so we're just gonna call it 'The tranny dance'!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "You know, you don't actually have to lie on a sofa like it's a Woody Allen movie.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Thank you for telling me that in the last session, dumbass.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "There are bugs on the windshield of your mind you may never be able to squeegee, like a certain birthday party attended by a rather enterprising transient in a dinosaur costume.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "So you think I'd feel better about myself if I got all sexed up, went over there, and really tried to be crowned queen of the dingbats?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Guess you really get what you pay for with free therapy.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Your mouth looked like a coin purse.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "I have a counterproposal. How about I point out to you that we've never actually been friends, then laugh at your very well-deserved misfortune?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "No, Jorge, you killed it.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Before I respond to that, I'll have to take a extra-strength vitamin duh.", "c": ["Michelle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer. Cool.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Then I think... 'What if we lived together?'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "He probably hates America.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "I could be the next Yngwe Mackadangdang junior.", "c": ["Vaughn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "It's not a Jane Austen novel. We have cell phones.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "You were gonna move my hair? I don't know.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "See? It's alarming, right?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Just did my first keg stand! Ha ha! Can't feel my legs.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Dancing in your underwear, taking air conditioner repair so you can get a job, Greendale's the way it goes", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "He made that up.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Finally, a classic last-day-of-school plot twist.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Hey, you don't have to tell us who Ingmar Mackadingdong junior is.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "I spent three months researching backpacks before I chose the one that I use now. I don't want to be that person anymore.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "But on behalf of the rest of the group, I hope it's a catastrophe.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Is there a word in Spanish for someone who used to pretend to be a professor, but was a teacher, but wasn't actually a teacher, and he's now a student? Oh, if it was in Spanish, you wouldn't know, would you?", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "I've put in a little... hot person. Hot people. There are two of them coming this way.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Cleanest face ever.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "You, me, and Jeff and rain man and big boobs and medium boobs and black boobs... We're a family.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "And for the record, there was an episode of Happy Days where a guy literally jumped over a shark, and it was the best one.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "And psych! But they will get back together if you don't stop competing with her and start communicating with Jeff.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "During paintball in the study room with colonel mustard.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "I've seen you shake the Dean's hand. Who knows where he's been?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Holy macaroni with pepper Jack.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Or may I say, 'meow-chelle'?", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.44, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "They're in the taco meat.", "c": ["Michelle"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Jeff and Britta did, uh, the Yankee Doodle. Oh, don't tell me that didn't make it to the States. It clearly originated here.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "You were the pit stop. He used you to numb the pain of not getting with me.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "He needs a girl who doesn't wear underwear because she hasn't done laundry in three weeks.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "They should retire the table we did it on.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Okay, well, you still haven't. I'm just listing the nominees, so not a great time to get cocky.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Jeff Einger, do not get back with Slater. I love you.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Your lipstick looks better.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "How can something that's delicious make me sick? Unless too much of a good thing... is actually a bad thing.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "I wonder where she got that from.", "c": ["Slater"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Bring Conan back!", "c": ["Random student"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "My name is Professor Ian Duncan, and I would like to rap for you. Drop a beat. My name is Ian Duncan, and I'm here to say, I'm going to rap to the beat in a rapping way, I've got a real big penis, and I drink lots of tea", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "Who is it here who has a dalmatian fetish?", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "My tailor will fit you for a uniform.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "And then we could all get together for some weird foursome.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "I give this year a 'D' for 'delightful'.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "I don't know any of these people.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Pascal's Triangle Revisited"}, {"t": "The same cafeteria where Britta Perry publicly professed her love to Jeff Winger who then walked out on her. Unforgettable!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "We're like Batman and Shaft. Batman actually had a guy. His name was Robin. Troy, Batman's friend didn't have to be Robin. It could have been Shaft, Dolemite... Leroy Brown. Don't let society limit your people.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Batman actually had a guy. His name was Robin. He rode around with him.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "You're reading Troy's Twitter page where he posts everything Pierce says? 'Oldwhitemansays'? It's hilarious.", "c": ["Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "How was your summer? Lived with you. Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Hey, did you guys see Toy Story 3? - Yes! - Oh, I love Toy Story 3! - Hey! - Aah! - Hey! - Hey, Toy Story... Britta!", "c": ["Abed", "Annie", "Troy", "Britta"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "I hope I'm not around when you do mean to be a tool.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "You are the...Coolest! Right. Um... At what, exactly? Being fearless! Honest. Speaking from your heart.", "c": ["Random student", "Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "'Jeff Winger, I love you.' Right. Um... My heart may have overstated...", "c": ["Fan", "Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "We technically frenched. I checked the make-out meter in this month's issue of... national review.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Two credits into a music major Chang?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Subject's talkin' my changuage.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Star-burns has grown reliant on his star-shaped sideburns but still craves identity beyond them, so he added a hat.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "I'm hoping we can move away from the soapy relationshipy stuff and into bigger, fast-paced, self-contained escapades.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "What is it, exactly, that separates man from animal? Divorce?", "c": ["Professor Bauer", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Half a hat. Saves money. Thank you!", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "'Half a hat'? That is so offensive! I love 'oldwhitemansays'.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Consider yourself Chang-ed.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Looks like your food just walked out on ya. Same way you did Britta.", "c": ["Cafeteria worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "I don't mean to sound like a tool, but maybe it's karma.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Annie, all women deserve to be with me. And vice versa. Granted.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "More of my urine for me.", "c": ["Professor Bauer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Britta... I love you. Now, I know this puts you in an awkwardly powerful position, but I have to know right now, in front of everyone... Do you love me too?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Shirley, would you consider spinning off with me? Just riffing, but we could open a hair salon together.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Well, I don't understand. Is this you being meta?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "That's an ax. It's an ax?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "I'll show you the tool that's most important to our survival. But fair warning... it's my penis.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Thank the lord you're getting married! I was so worried about your souls ever since you had premarital sex on the table!", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Britta's marryin', Britta's marryin', Britta's marryin' Jeffrey Winger", "c": ["Irish Singer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "He's a George Clooney impersonator, but still, razzle dazzle, right?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Men are monsters who crave young flesh. The end! At least we have the decency to be ashamed of it and keep it a secret instead of publicly blurting, 'I love you,' to everyone who sleeps with us!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "You know, when there's three sprinkle donuts, you don't eat one and then lick another!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Wait! I'm 'oldwhitemansays'? No wonder he says everything I'm thinking.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "He thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls. There's no way to disprove that. Have you ever seen a cat penis?", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "You know, it's very 'season one.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "TV makes sense and has structure, logic, rules. And likeable leading men. In life, we have this. We have you.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Gaaaa-yyyy! Ha. Gay fact.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "I...Respect you! That's why you fail!", "c": ["Jeff", "Professor Bauer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "Did someone throw urine in my face? Oh. Sometimes I surprise myself under pressure.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "How 'bout oldwhitemansays... The TV show? Who would watch that?", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "I was trying so hard to make our first week a great one, I didn't realize there was something great in front of us the whole time... an old woman drinking her own pee.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "But they're my friends. I'm your only friend! No. Hah hah hah! No! Ah hah hah hah! Noooooo!", "c": ["Chang", "Mirror Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "\u266a 'cause boobies we gotta \u266a \u266a order is primate, family hominidae \u266a \u266a but genus is...\u266a Homo. \u266a But you know you're into me \u266a", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Anthropology 101"}, {"t": "You're talking about it. - I talk about lots of stuff that annoys me.", "c": ["unknown character", "unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Guten tag, homies.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "It's not often we get to celebrate German culture. - It's not often we want to.", "c": ["Dean", "unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Pop and locktoberfest.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Winner gets to annex Poland. Kidding! The winner gets an iTunes gift card.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go hang myself in my closet. - I'm comin' with.", "c": ["unknown character", "unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "I painted a tunnel on the side of the library. When it dries, I'm going for it.", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Cool. So he's from your origins.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Your mouth isn't curved upwards. Did I misread something?", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Ah...Tango? - Sundance. We worked with different partners. - Got it.", "c": ["Jeff", "Alan", "Alan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Wait. That's worse than the truth. I'm a student.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Remember when you asked for my secret, I said yoga? I lied.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "D.A. called us the litterbugs, we put so much trash back out on those streets.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Yeah. I quit doing blow, not being rad.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Well, those cargo pants would suggest otherwise.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Hat club! Now you have some idea.", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Word has it on campus that Winger's too busy hanging out with his cool new lawyer friend. - Ha. Slow news day.", "c": ["Chang", "unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "That's your Carson? - Jon Stewart.", "c": ["unknown character", "unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "You depress me.", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Shoom, shoom.", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Those two are like siamese twins attached at the cell phone holster.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Our concern is that Alan is to Jeff what Rob Lowe was to James Spader in the 1990 film bad influence.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "He's a bad influence. - You saw it?", "c": ["Abed", "unknown character"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Oh! Yes! A shrimp boat ran over my cousin.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Shirley, if killed a man, as a Christian, would you forgive me? - I would. - Then either that man's life is worth less than your time, or it's okay for me to be late.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "If they gave away awards for mind games, the statue'd be Jeff Winger doing it to a brain.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "You're bald. - So are you. - I'll kill you, you... Come here! - Mistrial.", "c": ["Alan", "Pierce", "Pierce", "Alan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "I have hair. Father, I have hair.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Jeff, you know what lawyers call someone who defrauds the state bar, cheats on his SATs, and cons his way into a firm? Best...Lawyer...Ever.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "A butt for Jeff's Weiner. I mean, we all have butts too. We have butts. Just not for the same thi... I'm trying to say they're gay.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Narcotics! I know how I know Alan! But I'm not allowed to say.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Okay. You've gone from precious to annoying.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Like charades? - With this group? I'm watching.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Alan got Jeff disbarred.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Oh, please, those junkies weren't thinking about rules when they were shooting up scag.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Frank Zappa.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "I know they never covered this on yo, gabba gabba, but that's called circumstantial.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Yes. Did you know that go-gurt is just yogurt?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "I used to run full-speed through the boundless wilderness, and now I'm in the zoo where the horizon is wallpaper and the air is stale and nothing is ever at stake.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "In other words, we're not cool. - I never said that. You may have heard it. I may have thought it, and it may be true. But I never said it.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "The stakes have never been higher.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "I know everybody talks about it behind my back, and that's okay. You know, I would.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Anyone else with that hand would wear a glove. He controls a room with it. He's the master.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "God, it's a sea of Wingers. This whole place reeks of moral ambiguity. Actually, that was me. I apologize.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "First, why are you here? Second, I don't care. Leave.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "First he said it was 69. I wanna rub purell on my brain.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "True. But we'd need a good doctor. - Ted, stop hittin' on my date. Ha ha ha ha ha! I'm kidding. We can share. I get the head! I love the brain in there! Arr, arr, arr, arr! I'll eat it.", "c": ["Jeff", "Jeff", "Ted"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "You actually think anybody cares? - Um, checking in for the Heather pop and locklears.", "c": ["Chang", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Suction cup. Credit card. Chloroform. The credit card doesn't work, the chloroform does.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "'Cause if someone comes up here, Kanye and Kumar get taken to jail. You get taken to dinner.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "I am the smartest one in this whole group, and all I've been used for is bait and distraction. Ohh! Go on your stupid mission. I hope it sucks.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "What did she say? - I don't know. All I heard was suck.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Well, I only ever really liked one person. My mom. And she liked my dad. And after all the dust and custody was settled, the guy I really admired- not liked, admired... was the lawyer leaving the courthouse in the great-looking suit and a sky blue Mercedes SLK.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "You make me wanna be a worse man.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "You guys are really on to something. I think you found the world's newest profession.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Shirley, don't sue a stripper. - Why not? - She's a stripper. Life sued her, and she lost.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley", "Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Did you know there's an island in Indonesia where you can hunt people?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I didn't know what to do. I usually have one foot out of reality, and even I'm freaking out right now.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't know what to do. My whole brain is crying!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Oh! We all got chloroformed! Somebody chloroformed all of us. And now we're regaining consciousness together.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Okay, that was the worst idea ever. Can we please just run away now?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "It is the fourth straight hour, and Ben Chang is still on his own. One can only imagine what is driving him to... Push himself to such limits!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "No. I'm distracted, watching you mutate. Britta, you're not a whore. Shirley, Jesus turned the other cheek. He didn't garnish wages. Pierce, do I even need to say this? It is bad to hunt man for sport. Bad ass.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "You're right. He is a bad friend. But he is a good lawyer.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Now, go win that pop-and-lock-a-thon. I'll see you Monday. - It's like watching a soul slip through our fingers. But what more can we do?", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Thompson that adopted three at-risk teens and donated his kidney to a temp. - All an act. - Yeah. Why do you think he quit right after you left? - Well, his... his wife died. - Did she...Jeff? Did...She?", "c": ["Alan", "Alan", "Alan", "Jeff", "Alan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "It hurts! Shamone...It hurts! - Ben, you need to switch up your moves.", "c": ["Chang", "Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "My heart's just not in it. Maybe we should quit. I mean, who even cares about this anyway?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Hell, no. That guy's useful to me. Thanks to you, I've now got leverage over a spineless jag that just made partner.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Ah, no parking on the dance floor, Winger. No, I'm serious. You're disqualified. The winners are the poppy lockstockings!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Noooooo! I been popping and locking for five hours, and you threw it all away!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "The contest doesn't matter. What's important is we have each other. Then...Can I be in your study group? Well, that wasn't the deal. We lost, so...", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang", "Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "The contest doesn't matter. What's important is we have each other. - Then...Can I be in your study group? - Well, that wasn't the deal. We lost, so...", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Abed? I made it through! I'm a cartoon now. - That's impossible. - Nothing's impossible in here. Animals can talk. Your heart is shaped like a heart. And the smell of pie can make you float.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "Wait! You don't have to believe. I didn't. I may have done some damage there.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Accounting for Lawyers"}, {"t": "I'm so glad this tragedy overshadowed haiti. I didn't have any ideas for that.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Even a ferrari needs a tune-up.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Uh, yeah, I have the aol home page bookmarked.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "I told you not to use the east stairwell. My pastor said it's meth season.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "So I guess she crawled out there to die like a cat.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "She was so cold and gray. I saw her underwear!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "What? My mom isn't dead. / But when Troy found her, he said that... / well, her heart, lungs, kidneys, and brain stopped working. / And another way of saying that would be... / she's used up her organic body. / By...dying in it. / Wrong. She's alive.", "c": ["Pierce", "Group"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Mom was a part of my buddhist church. She's a level five laser lotus, same as me.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "When a level five's body stops functioning, it's vaporized in the temple of renewal and stored in an energon pod.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Ha.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Did you guys hear about that turtle in china? Two packs a day.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "He hasn't cried yet, and from what I've been told, that's not normal. / Who's normal, Abed?", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Well, baptists are, but that's beside the point.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Eskimos, witch doctors, jewish people. / Oh, cool. We made the list.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry... humankind.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Well, then you're not listening, because his has lasers.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Hello? / He ends so many of his speeches that way.", "c": ["Pierce", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Like the second when the fudge on your sunday is still hot or when you're the first one to break in a new boob job.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Now, I don't normally teach anthropology, but apparently professor bauer tried to strangle mr. Winger and has been put on administrative leave with pay.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Seriously, does anyone know? / - you, in the boobs.", "c": ["Duncan", "Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Wow! Wow. I thought psychology was a racket.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "I'm not actually drunk, and I can prove it. I blew beneath the legal limit just this morning.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Proceed, dr. Teeth.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Everyone likes pelicans. They bring babies. / - that's storks. / Oh, right. Well...we still like them!", "c": ["Annie", "Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "You have something very infectious. / What? / - charm!", "c": ["Nurse", "Jeff", "Nurse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Wait, did I accidentally tell you you have aids? 'cause I've done that before.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Well, I can't be the first person to tell you that the temple doesn't last forever. I mean, it's made of hamburger.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "This is a... this is a temple of doom. And you know what? Like the real temple of doom, it represents the inconvenient fact that all good things... Be they people or movie franchises... Eventually collapse into sagging, sloppy, rotten piles of hard to follow nonsense.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "There is no god! / Tell us how you really feel. Am I right?", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "But the fact is, jesus... the fact is, everyone's dying. And we all have these little notions that we're the exception, but we're as wrong as we are dead.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "You know guys are giving you money because of the whole sexy schoolgirl routine. / - I have a routine?", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "And if a guy wants to make a puppet of me, that's hardly your concern.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm raising less money because I'm not jump-starting date rapists.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Bitter much? / Say 'Bitter much' Much? / Say say 'Bitter much much' Much?", "c": ["Annie", "Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "It's not my fault. I used to wear a back brace. That's why.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Ha ho ho! Snap! / Wait...what?", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Energon doesn't grow on trees, Jeff. It's harvested by super bees in a buddhist meteor crater.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Which is at the foot of mount sky mall in the sharper image valley?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Well, I would say a cult might, for instance, sell you a tube of jell-o and tell you your mother is in it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Very much like a video game. You gain levels, and at a certain point, you actually can eat a ghost.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Well, I would say a cult might, for instance, sell you a tube of jell-o and tell you your mother is in it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Reformed neo-buddhism is not a cult! It is a new way of looking at the world, emphasizing empowerment. Like a video game? Yes, Troy. Very much like a video game.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "According to scripture, tastes like hawaiian punch.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "I like need you to save the pelicans. They're all feathery and pelicany. I wuv them.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Oh, I obviously don't need guys for anything. That's why I wear stripper boots during the day and eat only celery and mustard for lunch!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Yeah, you're both so different. Skinny bitches.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Do you know how many times I haven't eaten a donut? I do not. How much I got teased in grade school for dabbing my pizza with napkins?", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Do you know how many times I haven't eaten a donut? / - I do not.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Hold on a sec. I need to use my force field to prevent chang from getting food.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "And now that I realize that that was my goal... / mm-hmm? / I can really roll up my sleeves and get it done.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "All I've been trying to do is crush Pierce's faith to feel better about dying. And... and now that I realize that that was my goal... I can really roll up my sleeves and get it done.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Pierce says there's this 69th flavor I need to try. I am excited.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Pierce says there's this 69th flavor I need to try. I am excited.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "I can't believe I made out with both of you. Ugh.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "I can't believe I made out with both of you. Ugh.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Now, this is why I came to america.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "And if you unscrew the top of that stupid thing, you'll see it was made in china.", "c": ["Pierce's Mom (recording)"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "Well, that proves one thing. That woman was really losing her marbles toward the end.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "He hasn't seen it yet!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Psychology of Letting Go"}, {"t": "It's seen better days. I admit... it could use a good Wash. And I've got just the crew to Wash it.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Can we stop walking in slo-mo now? / 20 more yards. / You guys are walking in slo-mo?", "c": ["Unknown", "Abed", "Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "That's right... I know that this isn't a symbol for the crossroads of ideas. I now know it's a butt.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Pack yourselves with peanuts and really be satisfied.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "How do you know it was our design? We submitted it anonymously. / Whoops.", "c": ["Unknown", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Hard to believe I'm not really not really in space.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "I have to make this into a butt flag.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "During field trips, we used to sneak inside and get... To praying.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Wow, it's pretty well preserved for something that survived the '80s... And apparently a local transient who liked to collect doll heads.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "The '80s. Our teen years, right, everybody?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "If you love Greendale so much, why don't you marry it?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "It's no big deal, as long as I'm standing near a door. In close situations, I get a little nuts, and I don't know, you know, what's... no, no, no!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "You don't know that. It was the '80s. Everybody who made this was on cocaine.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Just as Kentucky fried chicken's secret process seals in the flavor, I'm sealing the cabin's air so you don't explode on your journey.", "c": ["Sanders AI"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "We got to get out of here! / I hope you found a seat. I want you to be safe. / Did you just threaten me?", "c": ["Unknown", "Sanders AI", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Pierce, you're talking to an atari cartridge. Sit down!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Mine's working, but it's the black guy with the wrong number again.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Pierce, I keep telling you that that is an iPod and you are listening to Wesley snipes' audiobook.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Well, he sure hates the government.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "So handicap spots count on saturdays?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Assuming we don't wind up in a compactor, when we get back, I'm going to step on you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "I hate to pull rank on you, but I need you to man your station now, Jeff. / I hate to pull reality on you, but you got your rank, Captain, by sitting in the chair with the largest knobs!", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "My readings indicate you're going to die alone.", "c": ["Sanders AI"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Looks like you circled public restrooms and truck stops. / There's another one. / That is a different side of the map, and that is... for a different project. / Why do they have star ratings?", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown", "Dean", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Why do they have star ratings?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "I set it up. I called city college about transferring, and the Dean told me that he would get me in if I helped sabotage Greendale's launch.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "I respect you all enough to let you hate yourselves, but I respect myself too much to let you hate my school.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Let's kill her.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Our school may be a toilet, but it's our toilet. Nobody craps in it but us.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Our school may be a toilet, but it's our toilet. Nobody craps in it but us.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Chicken. / Yeah.", "c": ["Troy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Right next to the truck stop with three thumbs. / Those aren't thumbs.", "c": ["Dean", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "How many schools would let you make a butt flag... Then actually fly it?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "How many schools would let you get a degree in theoretical phys ed?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "I told the Dean it was our design. And I told him it was a butt too. / Why, Jeffrey? / He kept not seeing it. I mean, it was driving me crazy. It says 'e pluribus anus.'", "c": ["Jeff", "Unknown", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "I told you we should have put cheeks on it.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "There's a time and place for subtlety, and that time was before Scary movie.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Get off my mommy! I'm her man!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "I tried to buy us some time with these double-icious sandwiches, but they thought I was doing product integration for KFC.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "The next time you provoke city college, you will lose more than a winnebago.", "c": ["City College Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Come on, you family-sized bucket of bolts.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "That thing might as well be on a simulation of the moon.", "c": ["City College Dean"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "Well, if NASA ever needs someone to keep an arrow inside of a moving rectangle, I know who I'd recommend.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "No, thanks. I can't imagine anything that could have been cooler than what I've done today. / Okay, that was cool.", "c": ["Abed", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "I took evasive maneuvers. You can't be on my 6. / Then I'm on your 12. / That means I'm your 6.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Basic Rocket Science"}, {"t": "I think a mountain lion jump down and eat someone's grammar.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Whoo! I'm a ski lift ninja!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Top hit, 'God of farts.'", "c": ["Professor Duncan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "17 million people. - Oh.", "c": ["Unknown", "Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "There were nine people at my church last night.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "I'm pointing my thumbs at God.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Ben Lyons said the same thing about I am legend.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Oh, well, I'll have to rent that, then.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "And some damn broccoli, please.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Would the dad walk away from this conversation? No? Ah!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Call a cop.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Heads up, gay wads.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Your face. That's what you're supposed to look at. So?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "We watch videos on 'youtune,' and you guys probably don't even know what that is.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "I'm... I'm Britta, Pierce's... Pbbt!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "She's a lesbian.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "He was like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "But then the filmmaker realizes that he's actually Jesus and he's being filmed by God's camera. And it goes like that forever in both directions, like a mirror in a mirror.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "All caps. Filmmaking beyond film. A metafilm. My masterpiece.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "You know, you're reacting the way the world did to Jesus.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Come on, Charlie Kaufman, some of us have work in the morning, damn.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "If you get caught with that, just say it's your 90th birthday. Suddenly, it's adorable.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Poker helps him remember. Veronica.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Ooh, freudian slip, perhaps due to my feeling kind of dopey.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "I have arrived! I am watched, as I am watching. I am audience and creation.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "There are no takes. There is no viewer. The film is the story. The story is us. We are the film.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Sure, that'll play in poughkeepsie.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "I heard Jesus died for our sins.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "When is life released? Every minute of our lives is a world premiere, and my father has already bought the popcorn.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "I am who you say I am.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "She's an actual real life pharisee!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Hey, bitch, why don't you go back to your temple?", "c": ["Unknown student"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "I forgive her.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Did you just scripture me, Muslim?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "People call them hipsters 'cause they all have hip replacements.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "That's what Leonard said you'd say.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "I'm not your father! I never said you were!", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "When did Pierce become awesome?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Where am I? What year is it?", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Where am I? What year is it?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Say what you will about Abed, but the man cannot be killed. I mean, it's almost like he's Jesus.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "What do you mean, 'flew zeroes'? He's not Japanese.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Screw Richard! It's every man for himself!", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Dear God, my movie is the worst piece of crap I have ever seen in my entire life.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "The critics are gonna crucify me.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "His kids asked us to stop calling them.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Could you add Britta Perry as a contact? And would you give her a call a couple of times a week? She gets pretty worried about him.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "You heard me praying.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "You humble me too.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "So you guys bought one of my outfits and then staked out my apartment every day until I wore it?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "That's not pathetic.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples"}, {"t": "Halloween... a time of vampires, hobgoblins, Draculas, boogens, and headless mice.", "c": ["George Takei"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I'm George Takei. You know what? Let's just get to it.", "c": ["George Takei"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Chef gaga never reveals her caterer. And don't try reading my p-p-p-poker face.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "It's military rations from an army surplus store.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I didn't read your poker face. You left the containers in the garbage.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "When it's not playing an endless loop of Abba's greatest hits, it's playing what I think may be your personal voice memos.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Note to self... get oil changed, check Netflix for that movie where Greg Kinnear... Plays a ghost... no, an angel... and something called human centi...", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Man, I wonder how much effort you put into being accidentally handsome for a costume every year.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Only half the effort you'll be putting into eating and drinking tonight.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Guys, Shirley's costume is once again unwittingly ambiguous. I don't know what she's supposed to be, but I do know she's not miss piggy. I repeat... she is not miss piggy.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "He's acting like the impression of him we do behind his back.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I'm not a doctor. I'm a doctor.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Get away from those hotties!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Well, I am wearing a $6,000 suit, and you spent 3 days making cardboard robot armor.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I'm saying I remind girls less of taking their little brothers to comic-con.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Just been proven racist by the racist-prover.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "But our costumes go together, and if you're not in yours, I'm just a guy in a spandex suit and a bike helmet.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I don't need to know which Dracula I am to be a Dracula. Nerd.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "My name is Alex!", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "'Classified Phoenix. If found, repeat key phrase... echo, tango, X-ray, nine, nine, seven.' Yeah. Sounds delicious.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Leonard, you better back that pumpkin ass up, or I will make a pie.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "'Doc Potterywood,' remember? 'Cause we were... / rich, bigger fish.", "c": ["Rich", "Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Holy crap! Leonard's a zombie! Zombie attack!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "You punched a lady bee!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Two percent milk, eggs, deodorant, puppy chow... Okay, it's officially a waking nightmare.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "It can't be the end of days. It's not 2012 yet. It's not the end of days.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "That jacket is worth more than the island you were grown on, Chiquita M.D.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "'Chiquita M.D.'... I like it.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Rich, this is a good time to let you know that I hate you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "That jacket is worth more than the island you were grown on, Chiquita M.D.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Why six hours? Are they hosting the Oscars?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "And the winner for best adapted Oscar burn, Jeff Winger for 'oh, snap! The man who went there.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Troy, we have to rise to the occasion like Ripley and kick monster butt in our undies.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I'm not Ripley, Abed. I'm a cool, sexy Dracula. I make love to ladies, and I survive.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I felt like maybe I was special. Special? You're not special. I'm special. I was bit ten minutes ago, and I'm... Fine.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Rich, just so you know, I hate you less now. That's how much I hate your normal self.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Oh, this is how I die... As Miss Piggy.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "You're not Miss Piggy. You're Glenda the good witch.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Just so you know, I've always loved Peggy Fleming. You're not racist.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Oh, cool. A dark basement. I was just thinking we should be doing this in a dark basement.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "You called me a nerd up there. What defines a nerd... committing to an awesome Halloween costume with your best friend? Is that what nerds do?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I don't know, Abed, because I'm not a nerd, which is why I'm not taking part in this very conversation.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "What is up with that cat? Is someone throwing it?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "This is not pretend play time, save-the-world time. It's quarter past let's-get-the-hell-out-of-this-building time.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "That's my jacket! My jacket... you're stretching it! You're stretching it!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Troy, make me proud. Be the first black man to make it to the end.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I love you. I know.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be a nerd.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "That's right. Prepare to meet the power of imagination.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "All right, I don't know why I thought this would work. Hey, get off me! Get off... you're so strong! God, I hate this! Stop using your mouth!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "What big fists you have... In your face! Beam this up, Scotty. In your face!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I've been bit, y'all. Dag. Congrats. You did what the zombies do.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Jeff, still cool as a zombie.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, practice makes perfect.", "c": ["Military officer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Let's dose these suckers.", "c": ["Military officer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Can't believe that somebody would mass-roofie an entire party. I can't believe it wasn't me.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "I don't know why, but I'm kind of over zombies. Yeah, I don't feel like anything action-heavy.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Hi, Kevin can't come to the phone. He's on a spaceship with me, George Takei. Please leave a message. You're welcome Kevins.", "c": ["George Takei"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Shirley and I totally did it!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "Why did he call me?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Epidemiology"}, {"t": "You know why they call me bus driver, right? Because you been travelin' all day? Because I'm taking your butt to school.", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Nice. Cool, I'm up. Nuh-uh. Game's to 15. - Since when? - Since you scored 11.", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "See? All that angry talk about butts. 'Kick your butt. Stomp your butt. Punch your butt.' Do they say, 'punch your butt'?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Amen. Or 'a-wo-men.'", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Am I right? Bring it in for a boob bump, ladies. Uh... Nope? We'll get there.", "c": ["Britta", "Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Draganflyer, bee-otch.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "And it'll strangle your stupid cars' little butts.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "There's a little pilot in there.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "So was the 'y' chromosome, but you don't see us throwing stuff at it.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Away from your symbolically invasive balls to a women's studies class.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "I'd love to learn more about you. I'll change out of my sports clothes and meet you there.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "* You just lost you just lost a game you just lost you just lost a game with Troy * - Uhh!", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "She lost her glasses. I've never seen you wear glasses. Yeah, I usually wear contacts, but I couldn't find them... Without my glasses. Which I wear.", "c": ["Britta", "Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Cool-cool-cool.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Well, if you're further in back, less people will see your roots. Oh, the way you excuse your little moustache hairs?", "c": ["Meghan", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "It's called the high road. I hope it leads to a salon.", "c": ["Shirley", "Meghan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Of course! Why name your daughter Meghan? Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "The one with the hole in her sweater's armpit, or the one whose tight sleeves are pushing her fat toward her elbows?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "So Meghan's the one with the crooked ears and no ankles? Ha! Damn. Sorry, I over-described again?", "c": ["Abed", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "It's Wednesday. Sometimes I eat in Jeff's car. Don't tell him.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "In my line of work, a multimillion dollar injury suit.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "If we say nobody, are you doing to stab us with your bush scissors?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Like a baby on the knee of a goddess.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "At the apex of each bounce there is a moment, outside of time, outside of words... Outside of everything. A perfect moment. A silent moment. I call it the world's whisper.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "You've been up there for an hour.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "It's called a muffin top, Abed. Like a muffin? Clever.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "It's just kind of a guilty pleasure to hear it about... certain girls. Like Meghan and her friends, because they're bitches.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "I don't even know your peanut-headed ass. You're right, we've never met. Like your hair and dandruff shampoo.", "c": ["Meghan", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "I don't even know your peanut-headed ass. You're right, we've never met. Like your hair and dandruff shampoo.", "c": ["Meghan", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "You look like you're smuggling a lime and a coconut.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Good one... tell that to the stitching on your ratty panties, or wear higher jeans on laundry day.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Women of Greendale! This cafeteria has been declared a bitch-free zone!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "We better bounce.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Yeah, and you're really good at it. You're like a machine. - Like Robocop. - Exactly like rowboat cop.", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Sharice is a bad rowboat. Sink her. Affirmative.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "I'm gonna slit your butt's throats.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "They're like wearing a pair of dreams.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "They're like wearing a pair of dreams.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "It's like the whole campus is a gutter and we're just spraying it clean.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "2008 called to tell you that, even in 2008, those were tacky.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "They're keeping relaxation secrets. Tell me how to get this laid back, or I'll kill your families!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "What did you see, my pretty?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Oh! I didn't know you were deaf. I suspected you were blind from the outfit.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Annie, when you laugh like that, you snort like a piglet.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Affirmative. You're all bitches. Triple bitches. Bitch, bitch, bitch. Hey, bitch. Bitch. You bitch. I'm a bitch. You're a bitch.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "So this is the big secret, huh? You two sneak out here and hang out on the big, gay trampoline.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Father... My legs! Ohh! Oh, my legs, I... illegal trampoline!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Nice. Who taught you how to be a juice box? Hmm.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Guess that's what I get for trusting some black guy.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "A place free from darkness. And some are just natural jumpers.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "My white guilt is doing somersaults.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Let me buy you some ice cream. My white guilt is doing somersaults.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "It's like your mom was a lizard who got raped by a muppet.", "c": ["Meghan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "But you did it to fit in. And no matter how hard you try, you never will.", "c": ["Meghan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "I told you, I'm not controlling it. There's a little man inside.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Troy and Abed in the mornin' and we're back with Greendale's resident animal expert, star-burns. My name's Alex.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed", "Star-Burns"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Turtles don't eat mice. What do they eat? I don't know. Pellets? I have no idea. That's disappointing.", "c": ["Star-Burns", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Aerodynamics of Gender"}, {"t": "Three hours longer than it took Duncan to think up this assignment.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "I still think that man is going to evolve into woman, not dragon monster with three legs.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Or should I say a catch to date. Oof, hope you just come up with that.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Look out! Drive-by deaning!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "I expect all of you to lend a paw.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Except you, Jeffrey. I know you've gotta catch to date. Oh, like you're famous for your wit.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Want to see if those wiener dogs are born that way, or if they start off normal and then get wiener.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "More relatable?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "I don't want people think of me as a handicap. If anything, this chair makes me more than a human.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "You move it by blowing into this, uh, tube here. It's the most expensive one. I outbid three hospitals for this baby, and it was worth every penny.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "We passed 'sorry, Annie' eight pens ago!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Accidents don't just happen over and over and over again, okay? This isn't budget daycare.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Okay, whoever insidiously and with great malice aforethought abducted Annie's pen, confess, repent, and relinquish so we can leave.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think I lost something really important to me, and it turns out I already ate it.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "It's not a pen! It's a principle.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Because this is starting to feel like a bottle episode.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Hey, meatball, did you take Annie's pen to make life more like Benny hill or whatever you do?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "I wouldn't do that. I hate bottle episodes. They're wall-to-wall facial expression and emotional nuance. I might as well sit in the corner with a bucket on head.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Oh, it all starts with a quick look-see into someone's bag and then it's a brisk peeka-roony at our phone records, and before you can say '1984,' the thought police are forcy-worcing you to bend and spread.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Are the thought police gonna make love to us? Do they find thoughts in our butts? I knew I should have read that book.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Welcome to the gross business of martial law. Welcome to what used to be individuality, seized and disintegrated by cowardly groupthink. Welcome, my friends! Welcome to the machine!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Well, Annie, it looks like you were wrong. Britta does come prepared for one thing. Or six.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "The Patriot Act cuts both ways. Actually, it's pretty one-sided. That's kind of the point.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Yes, we were all just thinking that in 1856.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "What if a ghost took the pen?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Side effects: Verbal dysphasia and octopus loss. I don't see anything on this squirrel about memory, Troy.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Pierce, you have something to tell us? Yes. Is it me, or has it become really obvious that Jeff took the pen", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Lockdown! Abed, seal the doors. Nobody leaves until this pen shows up.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Well, tell your disappointment to suck it. I'm doing a bottle episode!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "You just became my hero.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Oh my God. Are you charting our menstrual cycles?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Abed just became my hero. Can I have a little... No!", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Well, well, well, Harvey Keitel. Well, what do you know, Henry David Thoreau. My oh my, Mike Tyson", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "People like you are the reason we took so long to get into Vietnam.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Nice try, Stephen Fry.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "It's a pen now? Really? It's not a principle anymore now it's a pen? Why the change of heart?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "You precocious little bitch!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "What are those underwear made out of? They look luxurious. Oh. They're an organic soy-cotton blend.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Don't you usually wear the stripey turquoise beetlejuice numbers? What does she mean 'usually'?", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "This is how super villains are created.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "It smells like a Waffle House sink!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Have we not gotten to a place free of judgment yet?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "What's more likely? That someone in this group doesn't belong in this group? Or ghosts?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "So I see it as a lot like the movie paranormal activity, except for more boring and fancy.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Something you and your puppies could only dream of you non-miraculous son of a bitch.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Cooperative Calligraphy"}, {"t": "Agnes, cancel my appointments. / What appointments? / Wishful thinking.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Agnes"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "I heard one kid made a diorama about a world without dioramas.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Shirley, but who wants to hang out in a blanket Fort with grown men in tiny underoos?", "c": ["Britta", "Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "And neither does the teacher-- professor professorson?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "I think it means professor. / I think it means poppycock.", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "professor professorson", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Bye-Bye writing at starbucks till a certain persian barista asks me about my novel.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "I have always dreamt of playing charades with you, Jeffrey--just not like this, not on dry land.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. / Ahh... / You thinking what I'm thinking? / We're too big for this, aren't we?", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Troy and Abed's elaborate beatboxing/gibberish routine in blanket fort", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Make this a blanket Fort for men. / Babu-Gabku boo-Gee. [beat boxing] / Babu-Jabbu-babu-Bee.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "This is a test. He's teaching me about real conspiracies by erasing his existence!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "That's how stupid Jeff thinks other people are.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "My family name is professorberg, but we changed it when we were fleeing from the nazis.", "c": ["Fake Professor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Tv's gotten crazy good, you know.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "That is... if I still exist.", "c": ["Fake Professor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Time desk: The chronicles of Dean dangerous.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "That is gonna be the worst book I'll ever read cover to cover.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "My latest theory? Maybe I'm a god. I've denied the signs for too long.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "I'll just blow off walkin'! / I'll just blow off standing. I'm just blowin' everything off! / Maybe I'll blow off talking language. / Blee Blu BLAH BLAH BLAH BLEE BLU blu blah...", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "[foreign language] / You could, pavel...or...maybe the inside could come to you.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed", "Pavel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "[Troy and Abed speaking in foreign language to Pavel]", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "A Butt load? I get wicked cold, bros, and mad sleepy.", "c": ["Pavel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "I'm assuming it's the worst thing you could ever hope to be in...only at night.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "You are gonna Nancy screw me out of my credit.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "This is greendale, Annie. If there's a conspiracy, it goes all the way to slightly below the middle.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Looks like someone sent us a message...a tiny, thoroughly underwhelming message.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "I stole these from my son's house.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "When does a Fort stop being a Fort?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "history of something / It literally says history of something.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Principles of intermediate? Studyology? Class 101? Look, this one just says learning with an exclamation point.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Math. / Math? / Uh-huh. / Do you mind if we sit in? / Not at all. Right this way.", "c": ["Fake Professor", "Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Well, you know, math. Uh...numbers. Pi. New math. Uh...", "c": ["Fake Professor"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "He went into that blanket Fort! / I think he went this way! / Do you see him? / Oh, sorry. / Sorry.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Welcome to fluffy town. No smoking, no farting, no Pillow fighting.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "you should really check out our civil rights museum.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Leonard, back up! / You shouldn't even be in here, Leonard. You already have three farting strikes against you.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "I know a shortcut. Through the turkish district.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Latvian independence parade. Don't look at me. They had the proper permits.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Isn't that him playing the trejdeksnis?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "figments...puffs of hot air...from the lips of a ghost in the shadow of a unicorn's dream.", "c": ["Fake Professor/Garrity"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "and so on and so on and so on, etchethra!", "c": ["Fake Professor/Garrity"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Did you just mispronounce et cetera?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Would that this desk were a time desk...so that I could correct my past mistakes...ride dinosaurs...fight with Jack the ripper.", "c": ["Fake Professor/Garrity"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "That character was killing me. Word of ADVICE: If you ever scrape the Dean's car, don't tell him you're gonna pay him back in acting.", "c": ["Garrity"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "On Thanksgiving, I'm supposed to crash his family dinner and accuse him of stealing my girlfriend.", "c": ["Garrity"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "We just did a modern retelling of macbeth set in gangland chicago. / Oh. Fresh take. And you think I'm lazy.", "c": ["Garrity", "Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Jeff Winger never learns.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Course I shot him! He was being dishonest. And if there's one thing greendale's taught me, it's--", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "How to be a crappy friend.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "People aren't playthings, Annie. / [quietly] No, they are not.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Annie's got a gun.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "I just keep teaming up with whoever suggests it!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "If you conspire with every person that approaches you, you're not even really conspiring with anyone. You're just doing random crap.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "time travel is really hard to write about!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Fact: In 100% of all fake gun related shootings, the victim is always the one with the fake gun.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Would that this hoodie were a time hoodie.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "She took to deception like abed took to cougar town. / It's really good.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "You made the front page! / You know what this means. / We've gone mainstream. / Initiate protocol Omega.", "c": ["Pavel", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "We've started looting!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Wanna build a cardboard submarine? / Get out of my brain.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "Once...upon...a...time...there...was...a...big...spaceship. And...aliens. And...mercenaries. And? War. And? Betrayal. And? Romance? And...karate. And? Credits! The...end.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "We should write a screenplay together. / Cool. Cool, cool, cool.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design"}, {"t": "We only sang the last two words. What happened to the 'happy birthday' part?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Last week we had fondue and played Boggle because Shirley's niece took her first bath", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "With bubbles. Thank you, it's a milestone.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Pierce, you don't remember the huge party we threw?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Huge party, you were like, \"The best party of my life.\" - Nutritious. - Got you!", "c": ["Unknown", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Yeah, you still owe me for the keg deposit.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "I got a cousin in Detroit, they're not crazy about it.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "I broke my legs, not my gender.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Also born that day, Tyra Banks, Marisa Tomei and French cinematographer Claude Renoir", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Which would make me 20 because everyone is 10 for two years. Because fifth grade is really hard for everyone.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Mom, how many lies have I been living?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Think of it as Troy taking his first bath, only the bubbles are his manhood.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Yes. I wanna bathe in manhood.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Douche Street.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "No, but I also haven't been to Beirut. But I'm sure I will go one day because I hear they have lots of important cultural...", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Not hipster. Hipsters haven't discovered it yet, it's underground.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "They serve virgin mudslides. Those are milk shakes.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Real, it just won't be yours.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "We're not going to Red Poet's Society.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "I don't need people helping me do normal things and doting over me.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "So she's a drifter. A floater. An urchin.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "That's Cajun.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Who probably has really bad credit and an unfinished mermaid tattoo.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "It's either got a gross name or an ironically fancy one, possibly both.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "And now I guess I am being clever.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Troy, you're ruining Fuddruckers for everyone.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Sadly, it's the final chapter, but it's also the longest, and if you play it right, the best.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "You don't know me. Okay? Yeah. You don't know me.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "I don't say this often, Troy, but dream a little smaller.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Corpus Christi, Texas. 78418.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Just drifting, floating. Spitting in the wind. General waywardness.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Don't order beer. You've had beer. What should I get? What do you think you might like? It's your world now. Follow your heart.", "c": ["Unknown", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Don't order that. That's an awful drink. A high-school drink for girls.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "You score any higher on this, the Rylans are gonna recruit you to fight the Ko-Dan Empire.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "You're a fan of the sci-fi original series Farscape. Can I buy you a drink?", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Back in Corpus Christi, they call me Capricious Caroline.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "It probably means I'm too busy living life to be learning $5 words.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "The too-cool-to-care-tini?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Hey, Ms. Vodka-Neat-Four-Olives. What's that called? The too-cool-to-care-tini?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "I gotta go see a woman about the female equivalent of a horse.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "That woman is a hurricane. Yeah. Hurricanes are bad, Troy.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "That doesn't make sense. Wormholes and teleportation are different.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Plans just fall off me like chicken crap off an armadillo.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Abed, would you like to have gay sex with me?", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "I actually did pick up on it after a while. And? I really like talking about Farscape.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "We found it in the ladies' room.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "You look like a zombie.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "You're welcome, jackass.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "It's the same bar?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "You two have been saying one bar's lame and the other one is awesome all night, and it's the same bar?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "I just found out that you guys are just as dumb as me. Duh-doy.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Alcohol makes people sad. It's like the Lifetime movies of beverages.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "You expect everybody to be better than who they are and you expect yourself to be better than everyone.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "You like puzzles, little monsters on your pencil and some guy named Mark Ruffalo.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "They were making out. Abed. Why would you do it in front of me? I'm not a coat rack.", "c": ["Abed", "Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "Hurry. I think it's a girl. Left side or right side? Left side. Got it. Tell me when I'm close.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Mixology Certification"}, {"t": "You do, of course, have a constitutional right to lend this season the significance of your choosing in any of our designated holiday zones.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Yes, but as a modern Christian, I've learned to be sensitive to other cultures' jealousies.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Fake-murdering people is gonna be my new holiday tradition.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Don't your people spend this season writing angry letters to TV guide?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "I'm assuming that's why we're all stop-motion animated.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.81, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "I vote we let it go.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Abed, does the word clearly mean the same thing to you as it does to normal people?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "It's probably Arabic for 'not clearly.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "You really expect me to tarnish the high five for that?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "For starters, you could move around more. Not much point in being animated if you don't.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Three, and I told you, we're not clay. We're silicone dolls with foam bodies over ball-and-socket armatures.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Fascinating. And publishable.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "I am a professional. And you are tampering with a highly delicate book deal. I mean, human being.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Why would I want to be in a school that hates Christmas?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Apparently, it means getting fondled by singing mental cases.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Yeah, you made me need to cry in the shower tonight.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "how 'bout ten more seconds on that third button, huh?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "I'm not just a psych professor. I'm also a Christmas wizard.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Oh, this feels safe.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Shut up, Winger.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "I'm here for the cookies.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Don't relax Pierce any lower.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Its atmosphere is 7% cinnamon.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Cool! Do I have a gun?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "You have a drum.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Cool.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Bleep, bloop.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Bleep, bloop for me, too.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Baby what? What the hell?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Annie, it's because you're fragile and tightly wound.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "And I am ejecting her from planet Abed with a remote control Christmas pterodactyl.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Somewhere out there, Tim Burton just got a boner.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "If only he could find the power to not be a smug douche.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Bitter shallow hipster, sweater matching socks, Christmas needs more presence than a haircut in a box.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Get what I did with the word presence?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "You guys know Jesus was born in the middle of April, right? The church moved his birthday to December so they could steal the solstice from the pagans.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "You guys know Jesus was born in the middle of April, right? The church moved his birthday to December so they could steal the solstice from the pagans.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Season's greetings from Britta Perry.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "I don't know! We never know! Mom won't stop crying! I'm going to America with grandma!", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "He is good.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Initiate self-destruct.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "But the cookies are gone, and I have to take a giant leak.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "But you're Jewish. / On my mom's side. But my dad's episcopalian. And before the divorce, the holidays were a minefield of overlapping rituals.", "c": ["Troy", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "My parents are divorced, too. My mom's Polish. She loves Christmas. Every year, she visits on the same day. December 9th. And every year, we sit and watch Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer together, every year.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "But, Abed, today is December 9th. It's the last day of classes.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Bloink!", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Whoof. All right, where are we? Christmas train? I didn't wanna go home. It's depressing there this time of year.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Good job, Pierce.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "It represents lack of payoff.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "It's the first season of lost on DVD. That's the meaning of Christmas? No, it's a metaphor. It represents lack of payoff.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "What's your article gonna be called? 'Worst shrink ever'?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "What's your article gonna be called? 'Worst shrink ever'?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "It's the crazy notion that the longest, coldest, darkest nights can be the warmest and brightest.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "The delusion you're trying to cure is called Christmas, Duncan.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "It's the crazy notion that the longest, coldest, darkest nights can be the warmest and brightest.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Hey, not the face.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Thanks, lost.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "You ever get the urge to just... 'Merry Christmas!' Ah, there. Said it.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Well, I always liked the way fake food looked on those animated shows. I mean, get a load of these things.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Well, I always liked the way fake food looked on those animated shows. I mean, get a load of these things. They really stepped up a notch in terms of visual deliciousness.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Troy and Abed in stop-motion", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "It's a little odd that I see this, too, though, don't you think? / Yeah. We're weird that way.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"}, {"t": "Yeah, I discovered a new back muscle to work out. Ladies, you'll thank me come tank top season.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "I checked all of Pierce's wardrobes for portals to magical worlds. All I found was something called Emmanuelle in Space on laserdisc... I couldn't watch it, but it sounded sexy.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Laserdisc.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Somebody's finding river fingers with a cute boy.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Is it the guy that looks like Anderson Cooper but with a soul patch and the ponytail? / No. / Is it black Michael Chiklis? / No. / The white George Foreman? / You guys are talking about the same person.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Chang the subject.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "That was before he started using his name as a pun. It makes me so changry.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Oh, God, it's happening to me.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Is it Fat Neil? / Blue Streak? / Mud Flaps? / Okay, even I know some of these are Transformers.", "c": ["Group", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "I agree with brown Jamie Lee Curtis.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "I hope he didn't drive his car into another marathon.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Well, forgive me for being forgiving. Oh, that's right. You don't know how.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "I wish my mouth was further away from my brain. I wish my brain had its own brain.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "You have my word as your roommate, and that is a bond I will never violate.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "You can't tweet it either. / We never discussed new media.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "I have stopped drinking. Mainly due to the fact that I could no longer get an erection.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Now that I'm on the wagon, you can expect both this class and my penis to be more focused and rewarding.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "I am so sorry. I train seeing-eye dogs, and today was graduation. I couldn't leave without shaking all their little paws.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "He has a landline and uses the word 'album.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "By that logic, I wouldn't have a shot with anybody at this table.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Right? Britta, you're always talking about how it's weird we have no one of Latin descent in our group. / Si.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "And, Pierce, you're always looking for someone old enough to find your racism subversive.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "No, I'd say you got about two more good years.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Britta, I'm a grown-ass woman, and I made my decision.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Because I'm pregnant, okay?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Halloween. / What? / Both: Nothing.", "c": ["Troy", "Group"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "So help yourselves to tropical skittles, cigarettes, or mouthwash.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Nature's Viagra. Right?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "His mind is like a fortress.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Pierce, if someone had sex with Chang and they get to not remember that happened, that's a gift from God.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Now imagine your teeth are a uterus and that parsley is a half-Chinese baby.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "I love Star Wars. That's Troy. I love footballs.", "c": ["Quendra", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "My name is Quendra, and I spell it with a Q-U. / I love Star Wars. / That's Troy. / I love footballs.", "c": ["Quendra", "Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "I spell kettle corn with a Q-U. / Well, don't.", "c": ["Quendra", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "We didn't know how to reach you. / That's not a true. That's a lie. / It's a mixer. We didn't know how to reach you. / It's a mixer. It's a mixer. It's a mixer.", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Works every time.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "You can't talk and then do a slow clap. / You don't know that.", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Unless you want a front row seat to Annie loves Richie, it's time to Chang your point of view.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "It's not even clever. You keep using it as the word change.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm serious, baby. I am yahoo serious. I'm serious F.M. Welcome to the world serious of seriousness, sponsored by honey nut serios.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "No, Annie, in fact, you're gonna wish I was stalling... Oh, I just got it. Thank you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "I want to say some names to you. Jeffrey Dahmer. Ted Bundy. Rich.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "When he eats, he holds his fork like a murderer's knife, gnawing at its skewered payload like a deranged woodland rodent.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "When he eats, he holds his fork like a murderer's knife, gnawing at its skewered payload like a deranged woodland rodent.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "This number eight scoop of vanilla tapioca with a Ph.D in being swell and a master's in 'everybody loves me'?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Nobody is this good a person. And nobody can get any worse than this.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "If you don't vote for Rich, I'll shatter your world. / You're gonna what? / I'll shatter your world. / I heard you. I vote for Chang.", "c": ["Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Chang and Shirley had sex on Halloween. You may be pregnant with his baby.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "She crossed me.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Oh, now I understand these photos. Do you mind if I forward these to my brother?", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Kettle corn!", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Mezzanine?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "You ever have something that you didn't truly appreciate until you didn't have it anymore? / Oh, yeah. Keristina. / Old girlfriend? / Almond facial scrub. They only make it in Finland.", "c": ["Andre", "Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "And if it's Chang's, we'll go for golf.", "c": ["Andre"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "And if it's Chang's, we'll go for golf.", "c": ["Andre"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "You are the strangest, coolest, most genuine person I've ever met, and the thing that scares me about you is how good you make me wish I was.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Help me, Rich. Help me become like you. I mean, I am so amazing. But I'm not perfect. You are. Give me that power. So I can abuse it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "I mean, I am so amazing. But I'm not perfect. You are. Give me that power. So I can abuse it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "You can't just fake being good in order to get away with doing bad things.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "You can't just fake being good in order to get away with doing bad things. / Oh, I completely understand. And do you understand that I still have to try?", "c": ["Rich", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "And if you don't help me, you're a bad person.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Well, it's a secret ingredient...a couple extra pinches of love.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Rich, you know they're doing a fake morning show? There are no cameras. / I know. It's just a fun way to start the day.", "c": ["Jeff", "Rich"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Asian Population Studies"}, {"t": "Flying a little low? Maybe you should get high. - Who's this? - This is Drugs.", "c": ["Buzzby", "Bumbleton", "Drugs"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Drugs are like special honey. They give you a buzzzzz. Don't call me honey, honey.", "c": ["Drugs", "Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Pierce! Drugs doesn't say that.", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I don't say anything, by the way. I mean, I thought this show was about drug awareness. Who's gonna be aware of a character that has no lines?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I thought it made them just custom-paint their vans and solve mysteries.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Also, are you sure that my costume is on backwards? Somehow I felt more confident before.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I don't think my character would say 'tripping balls.' That's not a question. I don't think my character would say tripping balls, okay?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "You don't count, Britta. You don't respond to anything appropriately. Thank you!", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Dean-dong! I'm just checking in to see how the Greendale antidrug players are doing.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.19, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "So with any luck, we can get rid of all those Charleston Chews in the vending machines.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "But as you can see from my outfit, I already have plans, so off to the airport Ramada!", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "How come he gets a front stinger?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Do you think bees eat their own honey? I'm sure they've at least tasted it.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "That's like saying you don't work by electric light. If you want to have an active sex life, part of it is texting.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Shirley, since I might be the father of your unborn child, I made you a mix tape. I hope you like Johnny Gill.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Chang. I know who you're talking about... He doesn't exist!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I was kind of the Gerber Baby of moist towelettes.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I do physical comedy. Funny dances. Foreign accents. Name any country. Russia.", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Right. Uh... is the message Jeff Winger? Because he's on every page of this thing.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "There's not much to the cat costume, but can't wait to show you what's underneath.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "How could you think that was a good idea? I got a better question. How could it not be a great idea?", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "There's a rapist in the hallway. That's my landlord. And if he wanted to rape you, you'd be raped.", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "What are you doing in an apartment above Dildopolis? And when did they open a second location?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I don't get it. Aren't everyone's parents rich?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Every dollar from the Period Fairy when I was a kid. Excuse me. What's a Period Fairy?", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "The fairy that gives you a dollar every time you get your period. Does she still come?", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "This crap hole is a monument to self-reliance. I found the drapes in a dumpster. Can you believe it? Yes.", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Because I was never here.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "they told me the procedure for selling eggs takes three weeks. You save your eggs for a rainy day.", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm Cornelius Hawthorne. One rainy day, my son Pierce and I were taking a stroll when I discovered the cleansing power of moist cotton, fresh from the field.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I wanna be in the commercial too, father. Well, then you should have done better in your damn audition.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "What's your name, son? Nigel. You're a good boy, Nigel. Your father is a lucky man.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "And who uses wite-out anymore?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Hey, Crayon, do you know where I can get some drugs? I need them. Unfortunately, you can get them anywhere. Anywhere? I'm here! Zabba-da-zooey!", "c": ["Various", "Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "break a stinger! For the bees.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "By the way, is this your pen? I...think I put it back in my pocket after I wrote you that check yesterday.", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Next time you think about drugs, think about baseball instead.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I actually thought he didn't even like me, but then he texted me out of nowhere", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "You know that text we sent? It was to Britta's nephew. He sent her an emoti-penis.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Fine. Screw you, Abed. I can fix this.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I'm drunk too. On lust. There's a picture. Oh! That's disappointing.", "c": ["Marcus", "Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Are you ignoring me because I'm Korean? You're Chinese. Oh, there's a difference?", "c": ["Chang", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "It's because you're crazy, all right? There's something wrong with you.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Jeff Winger is sexy even in a coffin. Mmm!", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I know I'm green, but I feel blue.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Look, it's Drugs with a crazy wig and sparklers. \u266a Pokemon \u266a", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Smells like something died in here.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Being flushed doesn't necessarily mean you're dead. I mean, I could be a floater.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "You know what I think is a mixed message? Yesterday you couldn't pay your rent, and today you can.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "\u266a yi yi yi yi yi Bzzz! Getting rid of Drugs is a great I-bee-a.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Listen to that! They're high on me! I'm a God! Where is that Nigel now?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "You sick, sick, sad old man.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Next time I'm at Dildopolis, I will not be coming upstairs to say hi.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "We've got 50 at-risk preteens, armed with baseballs, chanting for Drugs", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Did someone say crazy person? No. Well, I heard it.", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "I'm gonna deep-fry your dog and eat your mama's face and I'm gonna wear your little brother's skin like pajamas.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Is that all you've got?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "More disgusting than what you texted to an underage boy? Yeah, well, I didn't know you were you. And I didn't know you weren't my aunt.", "c": ["Jeff", "Marcus"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Okay, all right, let's just call this a draw. Okay, I'd be happy to, for a price.", "c": ["Jeff", "Marcus"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Look, dude, she started it, okay? She's just as into me. More disgusting than what you texted to an underage boy? And I didn't know you weren't my aunt.", "c": ["Marcus", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Why don't I go get Chang? You can tell him that yourself.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "It's okay. I did a lot of ad-libbing.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "By the way, your mom was the Period Fairy, right?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Annie, before you say anything, I just want you to know, even though I did nothing wrong, I'm still gonna give you money.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "It's 2:00 A.M. Time for Dildopolis's night-owl deals.", "c": ["Advertisement"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "All store purchases will show up on your credit card as ABC Dildos, incorporated.", "c": ["Advertisement"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Celebrity Pharmacology"}, {"t": "Opening narrator describing Neil as 'Fat Neil' in epic fantasy voice", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Jeff the Liar, son of William the Barely Known", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Pierce the Insensitive, known also as Pierce the Dickish and Grandpa the Flatulent", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "At the end of the meeting, they realized that Chang had been there and felt too awkward to mention it", "c": ["Narrator", "Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "So we're just gonna ignore that hate crime, huh?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I'm an elf, not a nerd", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "It's cool, and when you play it, it makes you happy... Like a dragon", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Shouldn't there be a board or some pieces or something to Jenga?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I am a dwarf named Zippity-Do. Okay, I'm not the best at making up names", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Boy, you weren't kidding", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "My name is Bing Bong the Archer. I'm an archer and such", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I'm...Ew! Hector the well-endowed? Abed", "c": ["Britta", "Abed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I didn't know you'd just grab one at random. I made that one with Troy in mind", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Yeah, I bet you did", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Worst introduction ever. Check it. I am Brutalitops, the magician! Magic user, baby... What?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I want to know why these goblins are attacking us. Maybe these woods are their rightful land, and from their perspective...", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "You're the AT&T of people", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "'Magic user, baby... What?' - Troy's confusion about his own character", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "What am I not good at? Sex.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Dial it back, Lavernica", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "First of all, gay. Second of all, stupid. And thirdly...", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "But you remembered to invite Al Jolson here", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 3.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "And you remembered to let fatty sit in my chair. Get out! You're stretching it!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "As you watch the goblins retreat, you notice a 67-year-old naked man with no weapons, lying in the wet grass, shivering. His name is... Pierce Hawthorne, and I'm 66, dick.", "c": ["Abed", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I wait 14 turns", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I attack him! I attack Black Face!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll wipe my ass with it and throw it off a cliff. That's for sitting in my chair, fatty", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I can't hear you over the sound of me rubbing his sword on my balls", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "You have... Successfully rubbed your balls on the sword", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I'm sick of you threatening me and talking to me like a kid and giving me that look you give me like I can't get erections!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "If that's sarcasm, I can't tell, because everything in this game is silly", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "And so it was that the group began to describe themselves walking. And as they described themselves walking, so did Abed confirm that they walked... I walk with them. Until...", "c": ["Narrator", "Chang"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Argy bargy arg barg barg. Why is he a pirate? He's a gnome. He only speaks gnome", "c": ["Abed", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "You are a human warrior, which is five species classes greater than I. That's disgusting. Don't talk like that", "c": ["Abed as Gnome", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Okay, here's all the Dungeons & Dragons stuff I could find. I had to carry it all the way from my car. It's very heavy, and my doctor said...", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Excuse me, I don't normally do this, but you're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen, and I would really love a Pegasus", "c": ["Abed as Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "My stable has a bedding of heather. Perhaps you'd be more comfortable indoors. Abed, try to look at what you're doing and understand that I don't want to.", "c": ["Abed as Elf", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I take her by the hand and lead her to the stable. I light a candle and rip off a piece of my tunic, which I fashion into a blindfold", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "How long is that? Cool, cool, cool.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "'So many things, Abed... So many things' - Pierce's ominous response about his plans", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "My name... was Kyle. Kyle. Britta? He was an imaginary waiter. I wouldn't expect you to understand", "c": ["Abed as Gnome", "Neil", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Tell me, Abed, are you familiar with the Amburg region of the Edylmann River basin? Of course I am.", "c": ["Pierce", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Scream what I told you to scream! Pierce Hawthorne is my master!", "c": ["Pierce", "Abed as Dragon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "This is why I wanted to play Chutes and Ladders", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Make him as fat as Fat Neil. Oh, right, cry. Let it out. Baste your chubby cheeks in tears of gravy", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Look, before you respond, I can make it up to you. I'll find a fatter Neil", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "So call him Skinny Neil. He's actually not that skinny. He's bald! He's black!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Well, I don't look at the world through that lens", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "For my turn, I rape the Duquesne family... Again", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Yeah, you really outdid yourself this week. There's a lot of pain in you. I seriously feel bad", "c": ["Troy", "Neil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Oh, sweet baby Jesus", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "The dragon eating Pierce after being freed", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "That was the best game I ever played in my life. Don't mention it. Want to play again next week? Maybe", "c": ["Neil", "Jeff", "Neil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "And so it was that Pierce Hawthorne saved the life of Fat Neil, while learning very, very little", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "If you had a tail, people could always tell when you're happy. Yes, but with giant ears, you could hear things from miles away, and you could wear backpacks as earrings", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Backpacks already free up your hands", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "They're keepers of knowledge. She holds the answers to all of our questions, like, 'will you marry me,' and 'why are there still libraries.'", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "I wanna be a book. She can pick me up. Flip through my pages. Make sure nobody drew wieners in me.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Hey, maybe if we're too loud, she'll shush us.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Books! Pretend like you're asleep.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Well, I don't believe in dibs or love at first sight or love or best friends or doing things.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "You're gonna have to open your heart one day, Jeff. What happens if I don't? I miss the heart opening deadline?", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Valentine's Crapentine's. Opening my heart is on my list.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 4.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Pierce? What was that? Gum. Why aren't you chewing? Because I'm using my mouth for this dumb conversation.", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Before you go barking up that tree, I have to tell you that she might not be interested. Why wouldn't she be... Oh! Is she... A friend of Ellen?", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Yes, Annie. But you can say the word. Page is a...Lesbian.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Pierce, as someone who's been calling me a lesbian for the last year and a half, I'm sure that you don't have anything to say about me being friends with one. Nothing off the cuff. What I do have is a prepared statement.", "c": ["Britta", "Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "And in summation, good luck... And bon appetit.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Many, many paragraphs of that were oddly supportive. Wait till you hear the one I have for you.", "c": ["Britta", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Okay. I know that wasn't gum. You're right. It was an awesome exit pill. Zip! Zop! Zooey! Bye!", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "He's recovering dude can moonwalk! Besides, he's a baby boom. They invented drugs. Yeah, they also invented TV. Have you seen him control one of those?", "c": ["Troy", "Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Well, he also listens to the Barenaked Ladies. Go get their dumb asses to help you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "But Pierce is our friend, and the Barenaked Ladies are triple platinum... Are you? Why does everyone leap to defend that band so aggressively?", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "And maybe BNL has two Billboard awards to your zero. Oh, okay. They're... they're BNL now. We use shorthand for the Barenaked Ladies. That's how fundamental they are.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Maybe we all need some space to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt rock band of the mid-nineties, you selfish, jaded ass!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "This...is a fight! We...are fighting!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "I am a stylish American, professor. I've been forcing myself to be into soccer since 2004.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "You promised the study group? Whip, crack! I'll see you at precisely 6:30, or as the English call it, gravedigger's biscuits.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "I'll see you at precisely 6:30, or as the English call it, gravedigger's biscuits.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "That moonwalk back there was streets ahead, buddy. Hey, thanks, buddy. Hey, Pierce! Hey, it's you! Yeah. The tiny man you see when you take enough pills.", "c": ["Chang", "Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Pierce, if doctors are so smart, why are there millions of 'em?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Are you the guys that keep staring at me and intermittently yelling out, 'books'?", "c": ["Mariah"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "It is of utmost importance we protect that friendship from the stresses of courting you, so we're trying to be as direct and aboveboard about this as possible.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "What's in the briefcase? Oh. Tacos. You want one? No. Great. We really wanted them.", "c": ["Mariah", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "So like...Would you change clothes in front of her? If you have to ask if it's homophobic to ask questions, haven't you already answered your own question? Have I? Don't know. Not a homophobe.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Hey. Hi. I'm not a lesbian. Oh! I'm not either. Oh. But it's cool that you're friends with one. Oh.", "c": ["Page", "Annie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Page isn't a lesbian. She just likes hanging out with Britta, because it makes her feel cool to have a lesbian friend. But...Britta's not a lesbian. She thinks that Page is.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Hope I stay straight, right? Oh, sorry. My friend's a tad homophobic, so I was doing a bit.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Pretty exciting first half. Yeah, 0-0. Electrifying.", "c": ["Duncan", "Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "That's better, you big slut.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Don't mind if I Chang! Heh heh. Hey, man, check this out. Ya-haa! Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Hey. In England, fanny means vagina, right? In England, everything means vagina.", "c": ["Chang", "Duncan"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "In england we call them Italian fannies.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Cellie... Ah. Go use the landline. Landline? Okay, grandma Bell.", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "So Mariah, what you get with me is the complete package... HBO, Showtime, Starz, Starz black.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Let's do it. Okay.", "c": ["Britta", "Page"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Oh, nice call, ref! Bite my banger!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Leonard? Where are the white women at? No. There are no white women here, Leonard. This is not a party!", "c": ["Leonard", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! Pop, pop! Bam!", "c": ["Magnitude"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "That's my analysis of the Saw movie franchise.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "No. I choose you, Troy. Punch. Hey, Abed. Hey. I, um... She... Just... She chose me. Cool. You can have this then.", "c": ["Mariah", "Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Pierce? You go straight to hell! Wh... Ha... Oh, I'm sorry, Annie. I...I've been... I don't know. I've been going through all these mood swings lately.", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Ha ha! Look at the lesbians. Lesbians! Screw you! Screw you!", "c": ["Crowd", "Britta", "Page"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Well, I mean, he did talk about the Saw movies for two hours. Yeah, but there are eight of them, and they're two hours apiece, and the first one did redefine the genre, and... Troy, I would love to be his friend.", "c": ["Mariah", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her! What happened? She called you weird! I am weird. Not as weird as her! Who the hell is Nicholas Nickleby?", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "It's weird, but I've never heard of Magnitude before tonight. He's a one-man party! Oh, yeah! Pop, pop!", "c": ["Jeff", "Duncan", "Magnitude"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "I never said I was a lesbian. Why didn't you just ask me? Oh, what am I, a homophobe? I don't care about people's preferences. You so care.", "c": ["Page", "Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "You're the worst! What? And for the record, I never thought you were cool. I only thought you were a lesbian.", "c": ["Page", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Are you wearing my underwear? Oh. I just needed a pair while I did some laundry here. I don't have a washing machine.", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "I'm homeless, Jeff, okay? When my wife found out about Shirley and me, she kicked me out... For good this time! My whole life is in this dishwasher, man! Well, some of it's also soaking in your bathtub.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Hey, Jeff, don't kill the messenger, but you have four hermit crabs in your bathroom sink. You'll fall in love with them. I named one Jeff.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Star-burns, Leonard, Magnitude. Pop, pop swizzle, scandalous, C Dubb, Tim. Mighty D. Glisten.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "What is it about me that makes broken people flock to me? Is it my height? Do huddled masses mistake me for the Statue of Liberty?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Let's turn on my phone and listen to the 39 messages they left tonight. You have no new messages.", "c": ["Jeff", "Phone"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "Caring about a person can be scary. Caring about six people can be a horrifying embarrassing nightmare. At least for me.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "You're cute? No, wait. Kiss me. There has got to be a way to make money off of this!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "I've been cheating. No. It says email me.", "c": ["Pierce", "Chang"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Early 21st Century Romanticism"}, {"t": "I saw awful, horrible things, demons, aliens, critters 3, something called Bruce Willis surrogates.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "At first, I said, 'no,' because at the risk of sounding overly sensitive, I feel intensely bored by Pierce as a subject.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Final words? You're gonna kill us? No, dummy. The pills wiped me out. I'm dying. Oh. I'm not really dying.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Over the last few weeks, it's become apparent how little respect this group has for me. So I've summoned them here to exact my revenge.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "See? Fish in a barrel.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "It's Gregory Hines all over again.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Remember when he had the hiccups and pulled the fire alarm?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Yeah, Jeff. What are you? Abed? Oh, sorry, Abed. No problem. Doesn't bother me.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I'd like to be bequeathed a drum kit or a signed photo of actor Levar Burton. Those would be my top two wishes. My third wish would be a million wishes. But I'd just use 'em all on a million signed photos of actor Levar Burton.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "You see how the flea's door mat says 'Dog, sweet dog'?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "We both know that you and I are the most hated in the group. We do? And since, in my absence, you'll be the new black sheep... I'm sorry. That's offensive. Black swan.", "c": ["Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "It's all here, burnt into this diskette by optical lasers.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I know it sounds like science fiction. No, I don't believe there's anything on that.", "c": ["Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Good... good-bye, Pierce. Smell you later.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Okay, bluff called.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I wouldn't know. I haven't thought about myself in years.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Of course, if you are so inclined, you could always write your own name in there.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "People shouldn't die in the same place as People magazines do.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "That's the only way I agreed to be surrounded by my family.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "If one of us dies, we stage it to look like a suicide caused by the unjust cancellation of Firefly. We're gonna get that show back on the air, buddy.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Some take a lot off the top and you think you're giving money to people that really need it, and you're really giving it to some middle man who's gonna pay off their parking tickets, credit cards, and keep from getting kicked out of her place in... April.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Or what? You'll do twice as much work as a doctor for half the pay? Thank you? It's called a complisult. Part compliment, part insult. He invented them. I coined the term. See what I just did there? That was an explanabrag.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "For starters, I thought you'd be the one in bed and I'd be a hologram. What? Ah, never mind. There's no time for that now.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I was never one to hold a grudge, Jeffrey. My father held grudges. I'll always hate him for that.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Did you get along with your father? I got along without him.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Should be here in an hour or so, give or take a father.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Hi. Hey. Hi, I'm Jeff's dad. Hi. Hi, Jeff's dad. I'm Britta's dad. What? Why? I don't know. Got drunk, didn't have a condom, and her mom gets freaky when she hears oingo boingo.", "c": ["Troy", "Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I wish I could relate, but much like my son, I'm a closet homosexual. Don't apologize for that. You're talking to the guy that banged Britta's mom. I have no standards.", "c": ["Troy", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Well, what do you say we take a tumble? I'll put on a wig. That's it. You're under arrest. I'm an undercover cop. It's not illegal to be gay. It is here in Iran. Not when we're in the green zone. That's Iraq, stupid. Well, what do I know? I'm Jeff Winger's dumb, gay dad.", "c": ["Troy", "Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Hey, Troy? Hi. I'm Levar Burton.", "c": ["Troy", "Levar Burton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Pierce got Levar Burton to come here for Troy? Is there anyone he can't produce? Now I'm really getting mad. Why am I the only one he decided to torture?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I told Pierce a thousand times I never wanted to meet Levar in person! I just wanted a picture! You can't disappoint a picture! I hate you, Pierce! I hate you so much!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "It's been in my family for six generations. Now it's yours.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "And don't you dare intercut this with footage of me freaking out.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "\u266a Butterfly in the sky \u266a \u266a I can go twice as high \u266a \u266a take a look \u266a \u266a it's in a book \u266a \u266a reading rainbow-ow-ow \u266a \u266a reading rainbow \u266a \u266a oh! \u266a", "c": ["Levar Burton"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Set phasers to 'love me'!", "c": ["Levar Burton"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Are these... are these blood diamonds? Are they holocaust diamonds?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I would have taken that money right out of the mouths of crippled, starving, malaria-ridden refugee kids and now I know that forever.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "So how much do we all hate Shirley?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Hey, James Bond, stop trying to record us with that stupid spy pen. We can see the blinking light.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "If you try to pull any Ferris Bueller, Parent Trap, Three's Company, F/X, The Deadly Art of Illusion Bull, I will beat you... And there will be nothing madcap or wacky about it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "You know, you are a very generous friend, but you're really stupid with your money.", "c": ["Levar Burton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "It's not that I'm selfish. It's just that I'm really stupid with my money, which is why I'll never have a lot of it and because I'm a really generous friend. Problem solved. Dilemma deleted. Britta for the win!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Could you imagine bouncing a check to Kunta Kinte?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "You look too much like your mother. No, no. Don't come any closer. As you were. Well, have to catch a flight to Katmandu, but I just wanted to say cherish the new friends that you've made. They're your true family now!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I set out to take revenge on Jeff Winger, to scare him with the ghost of his father. Instead, I took over the role of his father, and helped make him a better man.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "You forget my birthday! You don't invite me to your Dungeons and Dragons games or your secret trampoline! You guys think I'm some kind of a joke! This isn't disproving the theory!", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I figured out your test. Crowns, presents, punishments, favorites. You're trying to show me the dangers of my own elitism. My constant striving to be the best. So I'm requeathing this tiara. Because if I become the kind of person who thinks it's their place to pick favorites and torture the rest, I'll die sad and alone. And that's what you were trying to teach me. Very good, Annie. You pass. She's actually just my favorite.", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "She's actually just my favorite.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "So I thought the documentary format would be like fish in a barrel, but as is the case with a real barrel of fish, after a while, it can become cramped, chaotic, and stinky.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "after a while, it can become cramped, chaotic, and stinky.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Jeff and I became... Kind of like father and son today. No, we did not.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Well, more fish for Kunta.", "c": ["Levar Burton"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "So I go into the bathroom with Tom... And we both, you know... take 'em out. And I say, \"Size more? Try size less.\"", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I wanna go to rehab and compare penises with famous people.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "- Hello! - Oh, thank God! Yes! Oh, my God. - Thank you.", "c": ["Study Group"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "\"Biden Time Talkin' 'Bout Teachin'\" tour", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Mm, folksy, yet progressive. He does walk that line.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Eat that, city college and wash it down with a nice tall glass of suck it.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Oh, Abed, will your reality ever come out on Blu-Ray so we can enjoy it?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "That explains the people I've noticed covertly surveilling the campus this week. Must be Secret Service.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "We've been made.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I mean, I could borrow my sister's Uncle Sam outfit. It's tailored for ladies but what else can I do on such short notice?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Well, you can not dress up like Uncle Sam. Or admit you don't have a sister.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Improving Greendale takes more than ideas, Annie. It takes time, gasoline, matches.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Well, news flash, Jeff. Some of us care about more than just fixing our hair and sculpting our abs.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Wow. You got me pegged.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Everyone wants you to shut up. And yet I won't. Case in point.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "And yes, this is a ladies Uncle Sam outfit. It's my sister's. It was last-minute. I had no choice.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I wonder if that's the same sister that tweets me to ask if I think her brother's cute.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Real nice.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I'm more of a silverback gorilla with the claws a lion, the teeth of a shark, and the quiet dignity of a tortoise.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I wanted ice cream, so I got in line...", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Face it, Annie. Politics are all about ego, popularity, and parlor tricks.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Well, if I see one, I won't.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I guess I noticed because I'm used to being the only observer.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Well, we're not used to being noticed. That sounds a little sad.", "c": ["Agent Vohlers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Although I could issue a warning for this bootleg of The Last Airbender. Where were you a week ago?", "c": ["Agent Keenlan"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "You can keep it.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I believe that humankind need not be governed. I don't care.", "c": ["Student", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I think 9/11 was bad. And freedom, well, I think that's just a little bit better.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I'm Troy 'Butt Soup' Barnes. What? That's my name.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Leonard Rodriguez... Did he change his last name? Yeah, he's trying to court the Hispanic vote.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "It's like God spilled a person.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Magnitude. Short for Magnetic Attitude. He's a one-man party.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Do you just constantly have your own little side adventures? Yep. Me too.", "c": ["Agent Vohlers", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Bring it on, Ponce de Leon. I'm gonna, Greg Muldunna. It's a real guy. He owns a mattress store downtown. You can look it up.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I'm gonna eat your brains, Vicki. I'm gonna slurp 'em right out of that melon you call a head.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "A reminder to all candidates: Your microphones are currently on.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "The assailant known only as \"the asscrack bandit\" will be brought to justice.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "They want me to do what I'll say.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Oh, they love it when you shuffle the words around.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Pop! Pop!", "c": ["Magnitude"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I went with four. Geez, get a room, you two.", "c": ["Abed", "Agent Vohlers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I didn't know how to use scissors, I sat in the middle of the seesaw, and I always found the distinction between duck and goose to be very arbitrary.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I was only here to get back at her for not lending me a pencil.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "My platform will be one high enough to push Vicki off to her death.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "No matter what you're told... We have to clean the mold!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Read my lips... No matter what you're told... We have to clean the mold.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "We talked to two people at a vending machine. We don't even know how to do margins of error.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "We talked to two people at a vending machine. Well, I'm being told we're taking a quick break, but stay tuned. They have to stay tuned. It's closed circuit television. Don't know what that means.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Can I get an apple juice, please? Freshly squeezed this time or so help me God, Maurice.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "That's close enough. Are you sure? You smell like nice soap.", "c": ["Abed", "Agent Vohlers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I'm sorry you weren't a more obvious potential threat to the country.", "c": ["Agent Vohlers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I fear a political career will shine a negative light on my drug dealing.", "c": ["Starburns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I fear a political career will shine a negative light on my drug dealing.", "c": ["Starburns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Mine's a three-way tie. Red, white, and blue.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "My presentation is a copy of Jeff Winger's 1997 audition tape for MTV's The Real World.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "\u266a Well I guess it would be nice if I could be on MTV \u266a \u266a so please please take a look at me \u266a \u266a for the real world \u266a \u266a Oh I'm gonna apply twice \u266a", "c": ["Jeff (1997)"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "We've all been 19, Jeff, and none of us did this. None of us.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I hate you! I hate this school! And I hope you all get black mold poisoning!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "When we seek to destroy others, we often hurt our self. Because it is the self that wants to be destroyed.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Pierce, you're not usually so poignant. Well, Vicki finally lent me her pencil.", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Well, Vicki finally lent me her pencil.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Two men fighting for the same piece of earth. One recently born. One soon to die. A competition reflecting the pointlessness of life.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Pull up, Abed. You're in a nosedive.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "South Park.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Did you know you could make napalm out of common dish soap and cat food?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "I had a dream I was the regular president.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Don't call me Kickpuncher. Call me...David.", "c": ["Troy (as Kickpuncher)"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Cool. Cool, cool, cool.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Intro to Political Science"}, {"t": "Well, I wanted to get the baby a doll and since the father might be Andre or Chang, I wanted all ethnic bases covered. So there's a little African-American girl.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "And there's a very nice letter from the manufacturer promising to expand their selection.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Oh, is everyone enjoying their egg rolls and/or Mieliepap. A traditional maize porridge popular in Ghana?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "History's greatest chump. We're talking about Joe Kennedy, right?", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "We're talking about Joe Kennedy, right?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "It's cool. If it's mine, I'll be a lovable uncle. Okay, a creepy uncle. Final offer.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "When your child is a lone scavenger in the nuclear wasteland, clean water will be worth its weight in gold.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "You know, you really shouldn't say 'you people.' / Oh, it's okay. Pierce was having trouble quitting offensive phrases cold Turkey, so we've created a bargaining system.", "c": ["Shirley", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Yeah, I really got... Jewish-personed out of that one.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Oh, a cigar cutter, 'Max' magazine, and hot sauce. / It's a theme gift. / Yeah, I believe the theme is 'stuff lying around my apartment.'", "c": ["Shirley", "Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Can I get a ni hao up in this hizzy?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Why is everyone in this school obsessed with race? / White-people problems.", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "So you're not allowed to bone him. / You just guaranteed she'll bone him.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Ugh, who am I kidding? I should be putting this right on my thighs.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Please. In my country, we give nine millimeter to little girl for sweet 16. Try grenade launcher.", "c": ["Lukka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Like, uh, Britney Spears. / Exactly like Britney Spears.", "c": ["Lukka", "Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "You are her boyfriends? / I love these guys. They make funny with their mouths.", "c": ["Lukka", "Lukka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Stop rep...rimanding me, and explain why I'll ruin him.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Name one guy I did that with. / That one dude, tall Kyle. / Jeff.", "c": ["Britta", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean Jeff 'nipple play' winger?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "You should have given me one of those a long time ago. I kicked your asses.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Let's see, uh, pieces of paper, stapled together, lot of writing. I'm afraid this is as far as I can go.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I don't see Chang as being a real hands-on baby daddy.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I can keep a secret. I'm from the Balkans. There are many things I try not to talk about.", "c": ["Lukka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Yes, I-I miss cleansing our fields and forests of the unclean people who stole my country. I miss the smell of the villages burning.", "c": ["Lukka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Hey, Spencer, come on, man. I got woman in here! / Great. He really knows how to kill the mood.", "c": ["Lukka", "Lukka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "You think that pool table put aluminum siding on itself?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I don't Chang a lot of chicks.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "So you're saying if I get a job and my own apartment, Shirley might let me be part of my baby's life? / Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying.", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Where do you keep getting these?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["running_gag", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Ugh. Girls are so un-desensitized.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Well, 'need' is... Is a strong word. I think Shirley would feel more comfortable if we had something in writing. However, I believe that we can handle whatever obstacle comes our way.", "c": ["Andre"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Did you see the stock market today? Up, down... Pick a direction, huh?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I can almost hear the pitter-patter of little Chinese feet across the treetops.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I can almost hear the pitter-patter of little Chinese feet across the treetops.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Why do I have to put the vcr on three Bon is on five?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Could be pretty cute. Are they baby lions?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Look at them run. They must die like the maggots that they are.", "c": ["Lukka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I'm just here for my 'trekkies do it in the final frontier' hat. That's my hat. Really? Mm-hmm. Are you sure? Yep.", "c": ["Britta", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Save your tears for your dog mother in hell!", "c": ["Lukka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "They'd be dead to me forever. Maybe we watch 'The Final Kickening' together sometime. Yes, Lukka, maybe we do. May...Be... We...Do.", "c": ["Abed", "Lukka"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I don't want to play anymore. I feel sick. / She's strange.", "c": ["Troy", "Lukka"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I don't want to play anymore. I feel sick. She's strange.", "c": ["Troy", "Lukka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I don't want to play anymore. I feel sick. She's strange.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "You think that pool table put aluminum siding on itself?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "It's for an extremely thorough documentary I'm making on my life. It's mostly footage of me watching dailies, but every once in a while it comes in handy.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "You're inhuman. You're an inhuman person. You're a monster. Lukka's a monster for realsies.", "c": ["Abed", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "He's so much worse than tall Kyle!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "He's so much worse than tall Kyle!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "What? Why? To prove I'm a responsible dad. This proves you're a kidnapper.", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Our mom's name is Loquanda. / Hey, hey, that's racist. / Wait. Is your mom's name really Loquanda? / Yeah. You said you were a friend of hers. / Why didn't you know that, dumbass?", "c": ["Child", "Chang", "Chang", "Child", "Child"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Who's Shirley? Shirley's your mom, dumbass. Our mom's name is Loquanda.", "c": ["Kid", "Chang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Hi, policeman, how much do you pay for anonymous tips about kidnappings?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "They're nipple guards for running. Olympic athletes use them. / Buddy, I worked at a maximum-security prison for seven years, and those are still the gayest thing I've ever seen.", "c": ["Jeff", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Did you know you can make an ashtray using only a cigarette and a snitch's forehead?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Did you know you can make an ashtray using only a cigarette and a snitch's forehead?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "There's no cell on earth that can hold Chang!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I mean, we learned that in that movie we saw with all those dinosaurs. Jurassic Park? No, it's complicated.", "c": ["Andre", "Shirley"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I guess you're right. It's impossible to keep the chaos from your lives. I mean, we learned that in that movie we saw with all those dinosaurs. / Jurassic Park? / No, it's complicated.", "c": ["Shirley", "Andre", "Shirley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Britta, there's a difference between telling us a guy likes nipple play and telling us a guy makes hats out of babies.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Was that the movie where the guy flirts with the girl online, but then it turns out that it's a fat, old woman? Oh. Sorry. It's cool. Maybe it's about catfish.", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "Was that the movie where the guy flirts with the girl online, but then it turns out that it's a fat, old woman? / Oh. Sorry.", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"}, {"t": "I like your sweater. Did it come with a Golden Retriever?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Abed ordering a spritzer and Jeff's narration about him not being weird", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Get it? Like Pulp Fiction. It's a wallet that says 'Bad mother...'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Pierce, nobody can hear you. / Well, I'm hot, and my balls are touching the zipper!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Can you imagine the expression on Abed's face when he walks in? / Of course we can imagine it. It's always the same.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "What, I have 3D vision now? / Yes, you do. / You don't know me!", "c": ["Shirley", "Troy", "Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Pulp Fiction? Yeah, I saw it on an airplane. It's cute. It's a 30-minute film about a group of friends who like cheeseburgers, dancing, and the Bible.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Jeff's not better than me. / Hmm? / I said, 'hmm.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Abed's entire Cougar Town story buildup with the existential crisis of 'if I'm a person that watches Cougar Town, how can I be in Cougar Town?'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "I pooped my pants.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "After they get frightened by the evening news, many seek the comforting foods and soothing music of a pre-racial America.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Wow, is there any way we can go ahead and spread that out over two years so I don't get slammed on my taxes?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Everyone hates Britta. / Mm.", "c": ["Troy", "Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "I'm really tilting the bean can here.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "You know who has real conversations? Ants. They talk by vomiting chemicals into each other's mouths. Blehh! 'Which way's the picnic?' Blehh! 'That way.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "What if you're a good-looking guy who calls a phone-sex line and tells them he weighs 400 pounds, just so he can hear a woman say she's attracted to him anyway? / Wrong. That's me. I did that last week.", "c": ["Jeff", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "What if you're a good-looking guy who calls a phone-sex line and tells them he weighs 400 pounds, just so he can hear a woman say she's attracted to him anyway?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Baby chickens, diamond forks, brand-name sodas.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Chang made me open it! / He seduced me with his dark Chinese powers.", "c": ["Troy", "Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Dude, I know I'm preaching to the choir, but you are a bad friend. / I'll kill you!", "c": ["Chang", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Dude, I know I'm preaching to the choir, but you are a bad friend.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "And by the third house... I stopped correcting them... And, honestly, once the shame and the fear wore off... I was just glad they thought I was pretty.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Pretty gay, man. Pretty gay.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.38, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. So you're ending early? Because in my dinner with Andre, the waiter brings... / Check, check, check. Bye.", "c": ["Waiter", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Cool. Cool. Cool, cool, cool.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Ooh, no-no juice.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "$800, and she stays fired. / Deal.", "c": ["Diner Owner", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "I chose my dinner with Andre, because it's about a guy who has an unexpectedly enjoyable evening with a weird friend he's been avoiding lately.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "I'm more of a fast-blinking, stoic, removed, uncomfortably self-aware type... Like Data... Or Johnny-5 or Mork or Hal or K.I.T.T. or K-9... Or Woodstock and/or Snoopy.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Cool. T.H.L.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "What market are you shopping at?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Critical Film Studies"}, {"t": "Oh, don't take that. I dropped it after the lesson on setups. The Professor is so old...", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "I'll give you the same advice my father gave me the night I lost my virginity. 'Just pick one. They all cost the same.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Hmm. Foosball was full?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Who Indeed: A Critical Analysis of Television's Who's the Boss?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Hmm. How do you say 'ha ha' in Italian?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "When I wasn't shielding the wealthy from justice, I was drinking their finest wines.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Pierce's has a special gym with swings and saddles. Uh, we don't... we don't discuss the special gym.", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Got drunk ladies, fancy bathrooms, and a room full of free coats.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "From before your chin dimple filled in.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Who is the dumpling with the nice Asian pair?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "That's the first time sexism has made me hungry, but she is something.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Why would a woman want a Plymouth on cinder blocks when she could have a Testarossa, 500 horsepower with a six-speed stick? 'Cause my stick is ribbed for her pleasure. I think those are wrinkles.", "c": ["Pierce", "Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Hmm hmm, the red dragon ordered a number 37 with a side of pork-fried snap.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "When you get up close, she's very homely.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Which do you think is better? Trevor St. McGoodbody or David?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Less of a drag. Quiet!", "c": ["Troy", "Teacher"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "A trust circle? It's just a circle. It's a circle. Sit down.", "c": ["Teacher", "Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "That happened this morning.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "It was very hard being popular.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "What a loser.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Like every time I go to say something, somebody just... My uncle put his finger in my no-no!", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Angela. Oh, well! Class dismissed!", "c": ["Professor", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "He refused to drink Pinot Noir because he thought it was French for 'black penis.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "But it's not gonna be today.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "No. No, they haven't.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "I mentioned that her breasts were larger than most Asian women, and, uh, we just got to talking.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "It's the only place to get fireworks that are too dangerous for Mexico.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Or at least until she gets heavy.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Don't preach to me about romance, Annie. I had a three-way in a hot air balloon.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Hey, don't take on his pain. Tend your own garden.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Britta's attracted to men in pain. It helps her pretend to be mentally healthy.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "No, uncle Lucius! I don't want to play in the laundry room!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "There's just so much darkness. And my soul is darkening, and my heart is mad at my kidneys", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Pierce is a beautiful, wise man, very gentle soul.", "c": ["Wu Mei"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Mm, trust me, that's not what they call you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "It's as open as the door to Mona's bedroom. It's a shame yours isn't.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Cool. Cool cool cool.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "You said if we didn't, you'd slash our tires.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "She is funny. Like Oprah. Oprah's not a comedienne. No, you are funny, and you are like Oprah.", "c": ["Pierce", "Wu Mei"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Don't sell yourself short. You're a baboon everywhere.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "I always carry some spare apps in case the wait staff's racist.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "In China, they put the last name first. I mean, they're nuts over there.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "I don't want to get corn-holed on the bar tab. Pierce, you can't just throw around a term like that. Corn-hole. Corn-hole, corn-hole!", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Pierce! Troy was molested! Cool.", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "We're gonna laugh so hard about this later.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Very impressive, Veronica Mars. You learned how to use Google.", "c": ["Wu Mei"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "And I was just using her to get her company in the sack.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "I think what you were trying to do is prove that no woman could want me.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Someone who, other than his irrational fear of automatic toilets, is normal.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "My uncle never stuck his finger in my plop-plop. I know. I'm bummed about it, too.", "c": ["Troy", "Teacher"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "The pain of not having enough pain is still pain, young man.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Angela Bauer.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "It's called Fiddla Please.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "They're like Chinese Mexicans.", "c": ["Wu Mei"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Competitive Wine Tasting"}, {"t": "Oh, come on. My forehead is not this big.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Trust me. I know these vents like the back of my Chang.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Is that a new stereotype?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "It's like a reverse cow birth.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Every building is a saloon.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "By the way, that dude was hard-core racist, like 1800s Disney-style.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "We learned new ways to hate ourselves.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "I know, but I was remembering around that part.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Nice try, Britta, but the truth is it's been a dark year.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "And, apparently, Chang is in the group now? It's true. God hates us.", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "That was adorable and magical. He thought everything was claymation. Yeah. But everything wasn't.", "c": ["Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Jeff and Britta are having secret sex.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Hey, Ixnay in front of Uncan-day.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Uh, a-a-a leprechaun took our clothes. And you can never tell anyone, okay?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "We are friends with a grown man that clearly believes in leprechauns.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Troy, we never said ourselves.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Chipmunk.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "The Cape is premiering. Humanity is premiering, you jags.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Jeff and Britta, you're free to go, because you didn't step forward and are therefore innocent.", "c": ["Administrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Pierce, you've had three flu shots. That's for the day care center. I'll be a living God!", "c": ["Nurse", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "It was a particularly small egg. That's why I was asking.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "You can yell at me all you want. I've seen enough movies to know that popping the back of a raft makes it go faster.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "That show's gonna last three weeks! Six seasons and a movie!", "c": ["Pierce", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Pierce, you can't sneak up on me like that. When I'm startled, my training takes over. Hello! Ki-yah!", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "The long looks, the stolen glances, the general atmosphere of 'would they, might they?'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "I don't know if it's because you're racist or because I intimidate you sexually, but I know it's one of those two.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Dean-a-ling-a-ling.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Dean-yow! It's Feline AIDS Awareness Day, folks, so let's whip it in the keister.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Guys, Greendale's music department is flat 'baroque,' so we are having a fund-raiser. What's dean got to do with it?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dean.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Oh, dean. Dean.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "It's 'suh-mores.' It's not 's'mores.' I just found out about it.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Stop saying 'suh-mores' unless you 'can not.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "I was talking about the paint. You were being racist.", "c": ["Shirley", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Hey, when I'm being racist, you'll know. I know when you racist, 'cause you're racist every doggone day.", "c": ["Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Abed, stop being meta. Why do you always have to take whatever happens to us and shove it up its own ass?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "He's not being meta. He's just pointing out what none of us want to acknowledge-- It's all of us. This group is toxic.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "We fight about fighting about fighting.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "And they all have one thing in common. They're all different.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "These drug runners aren't gonna execute Pierce because he's racist. It's a locomotive that runs on us. And the only sharks in that water are the emotional ghosts that I like to call fear.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Harrison Ford is irradiating our testicles with microwave satellite transmissions!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Like the Traveling Wilburys. Yes, Troy, like the Traveling Wilburys of pain", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "It's you.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "You know I still don't even know if I'm in the group?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, at that same moment, a truck full of toxic waste crashes and spills on the dean, transforming him into Mega-dean!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Wait. I care now! Now I care!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "It's embarrassing to admit, but sometimes I felt jealous of his interesting outfits.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Jeffrey, if I didn't know better, I'd say you had a crush on him.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "I'll never tell!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Paradigms of Human Memory"}, {"t": "Don't know. Don't care. But so far, you're all getting As.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Throw paper balls at her head until she sits down.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Student immediately complies and sits down after paper ball suggestion", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "It's Troy. / Hey, the man wants to give Darrell an A, let him do it.", "c": ["Duncan", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "A toast to the easiest school, the dumbest dean... And the ultimate blow off class. Anthropology. Who knew?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Well, if it's my child, it's okay to have a drink or two. Chang babies love the sauce, you know? Alcohol and duck.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Because I don't see any locusts.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "You have a booger. / I know. It's part of me.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Question number two: How awesome is it that this class is fake?", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "And that is what Jews do at weddings.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "You know, like that film Children of the Corn.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Do you know what, I have left the exam paper in my office. But it is a real doozy. There is an interactive element. A performance component. And I don't want to tip it, but there may be a lump of clay coming to everyone in the room.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Wowee. This is a real college.", "c": ["Jacobson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "You know what, not different. Equal. Equal to whites. You know what, better than whites.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Jordan was in here so long, he came out with a driver's license. I'm kidding. That's not true.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Chang babies are always premature. We gestate fast because we're better at obtaining nutrients. Some need only eight months, depending on how much of the mother they eat.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Yeah, let me guess who paid for that study. Big antacid.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Give you $1,000. / Indecent Proposal. Indecent Proposal.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "No. / I don't know.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "An epidural is a proper Christian woman's only chance to get wrecked.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "That's not something a woman does on her child's head.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "First of all, together, my cats can do anything.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Oh, and you're gonna squat in a babbling brook and a beautiful star child is going to slide out on a ray of sunshine while your cats each half watch because you're so natural.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "I don't want my baby's first memory to be star-burns.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "I drive a Prius, which I think is pretty cool.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "He's 'Sugar Boots' in my phone. / That hurts, Shirley.", "c": ["Shirley", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "We came so close to having one class that wasn't all about them.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "This has got to be a Chang baby. Changs are never born in hospitals. More like taxicabs, hardware stores, bank lines, sewers. My nephew Jin was born on a treadmill at bally total fitness. 20% incline.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "You ever tried googling me? Can't be done!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "According to my watch, it's 1,000 o'clock.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "All right. Betty Grable.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Make your money, whore.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Who's Betty Grable? / Yeah, that's the stuff.", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "It's like a million bucks in dog dollars.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "It's like buying candy from a baby. / What did you do? You ruined it!", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Once you've sold something out, you can't get it back.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "You two are dumber than Jackie Coogan. / He divorced Betty Grable.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Pierce tainted our special handshake with his blood money and now we can't get the magic back!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Holy crap. You two for real? / Nobody cares about your stupid handshake. A baby is coming out of Shirley's vagina two feet from us.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "I delivered a baby earlier this year in the back of an SUV. / Where was I when that happened? / I don't know. Off in the background.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "I guess some national ethnicities don't play nice with others and things have turned into a bit of a race... Kerfuffle.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "I didn't even know there was a difference between North and South Korean barbeque. I mean, M*A*S*H lasted longer than that war. Get over it. Am I right? Don't print that.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Shirley, pretend I'm saying this in a soothing, reassuring, non-robotic voice. We're not going to make it to the hospital.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.54, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "In which case, what you need to do now is elevate your legs over your head while facing the northeast corner of the room. But try not to look at the door, okay? That's bad luck and Chang babies are very superstitious. Also if you can visualize a rabbit riding a dragon, it'll increase his chances of winning lotteries.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "I can do it! I can do it! I'm good at looking!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "No problowe, Rob Lowe.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Britta's horrified reaction after looking", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "I take it the head has reached the cervix.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Well, a lot more are conceived. / No, Paul, that's off the record and not true. Sort of.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "I need to take a class, or read a book, or shadow a nurse, or at least have my mom hug me first.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Seven generations of little scrappers born in the worst conditions you can imagine... My cousin slid out feet first in a pickle barrel. My uncle was born during rainy season in a Mongolian sheep pasture. My brother, hmm, born under a crowded noodle bar while my grandfather finished his happy dancing shrimp.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Look, Britta, there is something in you that wants to take care of people so bad that you'll do it until you puke. That's what Shirley needs right now.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Are you saying I'll be a good mom? / What? No. Man, you will really force anything, won't you?", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Well, don't tell any doctors I said this, but at this point in time, the bus pretty much drives itself.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Who exactly is the bus in this scenario?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Hundreds of Changs were born underneath the earth. Most spent their first five years underground.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Guys, I got it. I'm in the zone.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "And it's also a black person! Not that that's important.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "I never told you this part, but all Changs are born with tails. You kind of dodged a bullet there.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "It's back. / It never left.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "After a fierce campaign, I happily concede this baby to you. Pretty classy of me.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Ben Bennett? / Oh, damn. / Okay. No, no. No, that's fine. Ben Bennett. Hi, Ben Bennett.", "c": ["Andre", "Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Oh, look, he said Chang. / No. / No, he didn't.", "c": ["Chang", "Andre", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Can you believe that's how we come into this world? Screaming, crying, covered in crap? And then somewhere along the lines, we get it into our heads that we're destined for greatness.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "We are. I just yanked a little dude out of my friend.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "His fingers are like good & plenties. I know. I want to eat them. Which is lame. Totally.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "I am a good dean! Whoo!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "Cancel school today or we tell everybody about this.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts"}, {"t": "- I see you, chubby ass! - Oh! - I ain't chasing, chubby. - No, no, no! - Chubby-chaser. - No! You can't outrun me. I see you, fat-ass!", "c": ["Unknown pursuer", "Fat Neil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 2.94, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "There's only one rule, Fat Neil. The prize goes to the last man standing. So to speak.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Fat Neil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "If you were a dude, I'd have my fist up your balls.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Christina 'Reach-y', I said kick.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "This is paintball.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Free ice cream and that one guy having a heart attack aren't the only surprises today.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Last year's big mistake was way too valuable a prize. And I've been assured-- Eh? That this year will be different.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "$100,000 cash.", "c": ["Pistol Patty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "I heard a rumor you never shoot an unarmed man. Whoever started that rumor didn't eat my beans.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Then I guess it's lucky for me I'm not unarmed. Seeing as I'm... Eating your beans.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah? And I want pants. A lot of people want a lot of things.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Math club! Yeah. I'm Asian. You guys Asian? That's pretty racist, man. That wasn't a no. I'm coming over!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Don't shoot me, shoot him. He's white, and he's out of ammo.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm much safer with you guys.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Well, I hear he has more paint than a French kindergarten.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "He's a jerk because we exclude him. We exclude him because he's a jerk.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Who wears spurs in paintball?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "He's really good-looking. Like, network TV good-looking. And did you see how big his guns were? Why don't you just marry him, Abed?", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "By the power invested in us as deputies, we now pronounce you arrested. Deputies? What are you, Deputies of the Stairwell?", "c": ["Troy/Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "My forehead's not that big, right? - Mm. - It's not small.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "He's created a safe zone where people can rest, eat, and if necessary, pump their breast milk.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Are you talking about the handsome blond cowboy with the big guns? Is that guy a student? Who--who is he? We just call him the Black Rider. Okay, but he's not really riding anything.", "c": ["Annie", "Troy", "Annie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "I found that people were willing to roll bullets under the door, just for the right to take a dump.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "By the way, for you guys, taking a dump's on the house.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Because you're gay.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "She's a dance major, Jeff. And she loves twinkies.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "For you guys, it means pool parties, dinners, one-night stands. For me... It means counting down the days 'til next fall.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "You talkin' about peeing, right? - No. - Me, neither.", "c": ["Troy", "Shirley", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Benjamin Chang, for your betrayal of the Cheerleaders' Alliance, I sentence you to pretendsies death.", "c": ["Cheerleader leader"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I told Trish about Amber!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Stop trying to fluster me with your handsomeness. You're creepy. Then why is your chest getting all flushed? It's a rash. I'm allergic to beans.", "c": ["Annie", "Black Rider"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Sorry, I get paid to shoot paintballs, honey. Not the breeze.", "c": ["Black Rider"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "You're dry, sugar.", "c": ["Black Rider"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "I got a better look at him. He's not that good-looking. - Didn't he shoot you? - He tried. He's a bad shot, too? Man, what does this guy have going for him?", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff", "Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Man, what does this guy have going for him?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Pierce loaded your gun with blanks.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "The key's in my shorts.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Okay, Black Rider. Now let's see who's attractive.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Dude, you have a problem.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "I can't go back out there. This is the only life I know.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "So once again, I'm the bad guy. Yes. Well, he got to win last year.", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "That's this group's favorite thing. We're always nice to you, Pierce. Wrong. Wrong! Three days ago, I walked in on you guys playing cards without me.", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "We weren't playing cards. We were voting, and you weren't invited because we were voting about you. We were taking a vote... On whether we'd invite you back to the group next year.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Lucky for you, it had to be unanimous. There was one holdout. One red card.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "You think you're good-looking, but you're not. You're average. You're just an average-looking guy with a big chin.", "c": ["Black Rider"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Last week he did it to get out of letting me have a stick of gum.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Sucker! Told you, dude. I'm the best! You're the worst.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "I wouldn't go to this toilet with my big sister's toe.", "c": ["Black Rider"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "I got Coldplay tickets.", "c": ["Black Rider"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "I was paid to be here and win the game so my boss could keep his prize money. You work for the ice cream company? Sweetie, this thing is so much bigger than you can even imagine.", "c": ["Black Rider", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "I got Coldplay tickets.", "c": ["Black Rider"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Resistance is as pointless as your degrees.", "c": ["Unknown invader"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "- Are we the little rascals? - I was.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Once I'm gone, I'm gone. Then I guess I'll see you in hell.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Once I'm gone, I'm gone. Then I guess I'll see you in hell. That's just the tip of the iceberg.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "A Fistful of Paintballs (1)"}, {"t": "Why would someone who gets paid to do things be at Greendale?", "c": ["unknown student"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Who hurt you, Steven? How could any dean be so mean? Oh, you haven't seen how mean this dean can be...en.", "c": ["Dean Craig", "Dean Spreck"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Wait, did you say 'bean'?", "c": ["unknown student"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "City College is trying to destroy Greendale, and they're an unstoppable juggle knob. - Juggernaut. - Juggernaut.", "c": ["unknown student", "correcting students"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "In other words, it seems we've left the Western motif and are entering a more of a Star Wars scenario. I know. I wish it happened sooner too.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Okay, she is just saying that to fit in.", "c": ["unknown student"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "First off, pop, pop! And second, Magnitude's a one-man party. A one-man party can't be in an alliance. That's a paradox.", "c": ["Magnitude"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "I agree to disagree. - Easy, paradox.", "c": ["unknown student", "another student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Their balls? - No. - Just below their balls? - Their wallet, Leonard. - I think it's called a taint.", "c": ["unknown student", "Jeff", "Leonard", "unknown student"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Whatever, pal. I ain't in it for your revolution. I'm in it for me.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "I know, but I'm calling dibs on the Han Solo role before Jeff slouches into it by default.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Give me the vest, Laser Breath, before our conversation gets nasty.", "c": ["Abed", "Star-Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Damn it, Shirley. Forget your newborn child and think about the people that need you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "I don't step up to being leader, Troy. I reluctantly accept it when it's thrust upon me.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Pop... P... Pop what? Pop what? What is he trying to say? Pop what, Magnitude?", "c": ["Magnitude", "various students"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "All my men have been registered at Greendale for weeks.", "c": ["Dean Spreck"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Those guys are ballers, yo. I hope you like getting balled.", "c": ["City College student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "You'd certainly be doing Jeff Winger a big favor.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "'For Greendale' on three. One, two... Jeff, every second counts. 'For Greendale' on two. One... Guys. For Greendale!", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy", "group"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Our sperm counts are higher. Even in our women.", "c": ["Dean Spreck"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Honestly, ask yourself, what does 'liberal arts' even mean?", "c": ["Dean Spreck"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Welcome to Greendale. - You're already dead.", "c": ["City College soldiers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Sure thing, your worship.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Stop trying to be Han Solo. It's making me embarrassed for you.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "I hope I don't get shot waiting out here. I'd hate to go home to my babies.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Paint in sprinklers? Are we the little rascals? - I was.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "I don't take orders from girls. Because they don't talk to me.", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Watch it, Quasar face. Annie's a good kid and a better shot. So listen up, or you'll be floating home. Thank you, Abed. Sorry. Han.", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Now we have the tactical advantage of knowing that Jeff Winger wants to be a ballerina, and that his Achilles heel is...wieners.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "What took them so long?", "c": ["City College student"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "For a no-good, laser-faced, jabba scoundrel. You're good, kid. Don't get cocky.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Operation 'Troy's Awesome Plan' is living up to its name.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Squad 'B' commencing operation 'Actual Operation.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Some of us won't make it. But there is a place where we will all see each other again, and that place is Denny's. Which Denny's? We'll figure it out later, Leonard. The one near the 15 exit? I'm banned from there. Well, then I guess I'll see you in hell.", "c": ["Jeff", "Leonard"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Then let's kick some taint.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Can we move this along? I'm missing CSI.", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "I may be stuck in this vent. It is too early to tell.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Commence operation 'Troy's Awesome Leadership Is Never in Doubt' plan.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, Quendra with a Q-U, they can kill most of us, but as long as nobody gives up, somebody will make it through. Understand?", "c": ["Jeff", "Quendra"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Well, I'm out. We lost. See you at Denny's? Denny's is for winners.", "c": ["student", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Leonard, we're losing. Britta, I've been in a few real wars, but this one is actually the most terrifying.", "c": ["Leonard", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "I had a dream it would end this way.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Will you still be Han Solo after we die? 'Fraid not, doll. Once I'm gone, I'm gone.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "It's my h-heart. Hey, buddy, you okay?", "c": ["City College student"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Eat paint, you storm-troopin', City College knob gobblers.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Your mother's lover. What? What? I win!", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "And you can make the check out... to Greendale.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Too risky. Sequels are almost always disappointing.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Since when are you in favor of playing it safe, Han? Cool down, Annie. I was only Han Solo because the context demanded it.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, he uses some kind of crystal instead of deodorant.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Just came back for my day planner. Pretend I'm not even here. You guys are great at that.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Come on, Pierce. We all know this is no 'day planner.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "it appears I'm running late to drink a bottle of wine in my bathing suit.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Probably for the same reason I've been married seven times. I guess I assume eventually I'll be rejected, so I, you know, test people, push them, until they prove me right.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "And now he'll come slinking back in five, four, three, two...", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Actually, we kind of did that. Haven't you been to the library? - I'm working my way there.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Cool, cool, cool. Slippery.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "For a Few Paintballs More (2)"}, {"t": "Opening song lyrics: 'We're gonna fly to screw each morning'", "c": ["Ensemble"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Troy: 'If you want to get us a gift, we're registered at linens 'n things. We have plenty of linens. We mainly want the things.'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Dean Pelton: 'How you like me now, bitches?'", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Dean: 'I'm gonna be a mean, lean, deaning machine.'", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Troy: 'It's probably the monkey that lives in the vents. I named him \"Annie's boobs,\" after Annie's boobs.'", "c": ["Troy", "Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Reaction beat: Annie's horrified reaction to monkey being named after her anatomy", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Dean: 'Homie don't dean this.'", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Jeff: 'Yeah, we have parted ways with our closest, oldest, craziest, most racist, oldest, elderly, crazy friend'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "I'm back. How was your summer?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Pierce: 'I'm back.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Pierce: 'I underwent three months of intensive soul-rezoning at the laser lotus celebrity center.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Jeff: 'You know what's magic about this table? It magically keeps our books from falling on the floor.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "We'll see you when we see you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Star-Burns: 'Yeah! The human being underneath it all, but no one's really interested in that, are they?' Jeff: 'No.'", "c": ["Star-Burns", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Jeff: 'Excluding Pierce is what drove him crazy last year.' Britta: 'Wrong, being crazy drove him excluded.'", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Abed: 'Cougar town has been moved to mid-season. That's never a good sign.'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Abed: 'Not cool, not cool, not cool, not cool, not cool...' Troy: 'Hey buddy, hey, it's coming back in January. Six seasons and a movie.'", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "I was only allowed in the library one hour per day at the San Vicente correctional facility while serving a sentence of 25 to life.", "c": ["Professor Kane"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Jeff's phone vibrating loudly during professor's emotional story", "c": ["Jeff", "Professor Kane"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Vibrates louder than the ringer.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Jeff: 'Sean Penn called. He says to dial it back.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Dean's elaborate monkey hotel fantasy", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Annie: 'Wow, you've really thought this through.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Dean: 'Spray your solutions all over me.'", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Monkey knockout gas! Now that's the kind of grounded, sensible thinking I want to see this year.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Vice Dean: 'You bring your head down to my appendage tomorrow, and I'll show you \"whazup.\"'", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Britta's fake British show 'Cougarton Abbey'", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Cougarton abbey. Just been 'round Cougarton chapel. I may be having an awakening. Come off it, Deidre. You've only been having a butchers at the choir boys.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Leonard: 'All hail, sir eats alone.' Jeff: 'Shut up, Leonard. I heard about your prescription socks.'", "c": ["Leonard", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Movie titles that sound like poops: 'Remains of the Day', 'Green Mile', 'Operation Dumbo Drop'", "c": ["Study Group"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Why did everyone on Cougarton Abbey just die? They only ran six episodes. That's the great thing about British tv. They give you closure.", "c": ["Abed", "Britta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Jeff: 'You are human tennis elbow. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth. You are the opposite of Batman.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Star-Burns: 'I live in the air vents of the school. Shhhh! I'm free, Jeff. Free!'", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Real Dean coming through... Oh, my goodness spacious,", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "You could have lived the rest of your life in blissful ignorance and died a happy, pansexual imp.", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Vice Dean: 'from nostril to rectum, now until the end of time.'", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Dean: 'I forgot everything you said before \"rectum\"!'", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Vice Dean's team: 'That's a barber.' Vice Dean: 'Because I'm also sick of that ridiculous goatee. You look like a white Lou Gossett, Jr.'", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Jeff destroying the table with an axe", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Everyone knocked out by monkey gas", "c": ["Study Group", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Shirley: 'I don't want to push it, but this would be a great time to baptize him.'", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Britta: 'Why don't you go start a ruiners' club? Oh wait, you'd probably just ruin it.' Jeff: 'Well then, I'd be doing a good job because it's a ruiners' club.' Britta: 'You ruined my analogy.'", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Blimey, inspector! Where have we wound up this time? The question isn't where, constable, but when. Inspector, look out! Blorgons! Eradicate! Eradicate!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Jeff mistaking Professor Kane for Pierce's rap artist friend Sugar Cube", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Well, I guess they share one important feature in your eyes.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Jeff with the axe: 'I'm going to kill the one thing you love! I'm gonna kill it! As long as it breathes, it controls our lives!'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "I'm going to kill the one thing you love! I'm gonna kill it! As long as it breathes, it controls our lives!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Chang's speech about being excluded: 'it is a scary, lonely, Chang-filled world out there'", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "I can't believe Jeff attacked a table with a fire axe and still only managed to be the second craziest man in the room.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "the sands of time. And the hungry seagulls of slowly growing apart.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Star-Burns: 'I'm a drug dealer, right? And you're a scientist, so couldn't we get, like, a Breaking Bad type of thing going?'", "c": ["Star-Burns", "Professor Kane"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "I'm a drug dealer, right? And you're a scientist, so couldn't we get, like, a Breaking Bad type of thing going?", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Britta: 'I'm gonna study Psychology... I'm gonna be a therapist.' Group reaction of horror", "c": ["Britta", "Study Group"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "I'm gonna study Psychology. Like in a research capacity? No, in a hands-on capacity. I'm gonna be a therapist.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Troy: 'Oh, interesting. So this is the year we all die.' Jeff: 'Yes, it is.'", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Biology 101"}, {"t": "Oh, boy, spoiler alert. Somebody just won a ride in the wheelchair.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Highlight? Probably the backpack.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "My first cop flashlight. Can't wait to get some brains on this bad boy.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "The badge says to serve and protect! No, it doesn't. 'How's my smile?' Oh, man.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Please? I swear they're just for sex!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "How progressive of you to have a multicultural evil twin. An Asian Annie. Obama's America.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "You be careful, Annie. They are ruthless. What? What? Not Asians. Women.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "You mean the younger you that took so much Adderall she tried to straighten the lines on our high school football field during a game?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Too bad the fascist oligarchies are raping them to make hamburgers. Look it up.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Looks like someone woke up on the regular side of the bed.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Maybe my path is a war path that leads to the terrordome, n-words!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Don't worry. She'll be bad at it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Keep clear of the can. Sir, step around the can. Mind the can, student.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "I piss warnings, pig.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "And meet Kofi Annan, Boutros Boutros Ghali, and Will.I.Am. Boutros Boutros Ghali?", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "They used to call me model U.N. guy back in college. Well, that's not-- don't research that.", "c": ["Professor Cligoris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Cligoris? Either pronunciation is fine?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "So I've had your photo around my neck since I was in high school.", "c": ["Professor Cligoris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "and the diabolical little b--usybody stabbed her in the back.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "I didn't know that all you had to do was call dibs.", "c": ["Annie Kim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Is he your father or your lover?", "c": ["Professor Cligoris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "We're friends. Yeah. Good friends. Grown-up friends. Yeah. So. We're friendly.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Somalia has 1,900 miles of coastline, a government that knows its place, and all the guns and wives you can afford to buy.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Why have I never heard of this paradise before?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Troy, Georgia the country, not the state. That's right. Capital city Tbilisi, and former member of the Soviet Union. And we kindly request y'all mind your Ps and Qs.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Does two U.N.s mean there are two earths? Uh, yeah. Sure, two earths.", "c": ["Abed", "Professor Cligoris"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "This is what the United Nations is doing to your freedom. I'm your freedom! And I'm in a cage. With the world! Because of them!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "He's pulling my cage. I'm being pulled in my cage for no reason! Is anybody seeing this? Is the world seeing this? Are we facebooking this?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Uruguay sounds like 'you're a gay.' Uruguay kindly requests that Somalia stop pronouncing it 'you're a gay.'", "c": ["Abed", "Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Oh! Damn, Pierce. Ooh, that wasn't me. I don't smell anything-- whup, I just got it. Oh, it's in my mouth.", "c": ["Study Group"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "You're as much a criminal as this idiot is a cop. None whatsoever.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "You know the thing that comes down, keeps the...cars from coming in. The thing. It's like a gate, but it's just a stick. Comes down, from a hinge. Keeps the cars out. Goes up and down 90 degrees. The arm?", "c": ["Chang", "Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "So whoever actually died a few months ago, 'fess up so we can put a stake through your heart.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Noooooo! I think the lesson here is that I need to win this! I want to win! And you! You suck! You're a stupid, ugly poopface! I'm better than you!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "You're acting like a little schoolgirl and not in a hot way.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "If embarrassment were bountiful zinc deposits, I'd be Zambia.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "There's nothing to be Zambia about, Annie.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "when you feel the way I feel about you, the easy loophole through the creepiness and danger is to treat them like a child. 'A chip off the old block, you're the best, kiddo.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Can't keep doing this forever, kiddo. Can't we? Nope. I can't, no. Nope, that's gross. That feels gross.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "would it help if I said I farted? Annie, no. I can't let you fall on that sword because... I farted. No, I farted. I farted.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff", "Study Group"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "Guys, I wasn't doing the Spartacus thing. I farted.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "You can't just mumble nonsense. No one's cutting away. Okay, fine, here's my actual plan.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "We represent the United Nations from Earth I. Using our Switzerland's hadron collider and resources from every nation, the people of our planet have constructed a trans-dimensional gateway here.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "One which flies in the very face of the United Nations itself, a fundamentally symbolic organization founded on the principles of high-minded rhetoric and empty gestures.", "c": ["Professor Cligoris"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "I told you to stop playing Operation on me! I'm not your damn board game!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "At least you didn't get my spare ribs.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Geography of Global Conflict"}, {"t": "You woke up with a guard this morning. But tonight, you're going to bed with a detective.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Probably need it.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Who's Nick Nolte? Aww.", "c": ["Unknown student"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Hey, Abed, can I borrow some change for the water fountain? Yeah. Here you go. Thank you. Wait. Change?", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "That's because nobody's gonna pay to drink water. Actually it's a two drink-minimum. It'll be reflected in your tuition.", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "We have to keep this whole living situation kind of quiet. You know, on the d-low. Sure, you know, I'm barely there. I'm married to the job. And to a mannequin leg I found in the boiler room.", "c": ["Dean", "Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Homewrecker.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "You guys have weird reactions to stuff.", "c": ["Professor Kane"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "As someone who just finished spending the majority of his life in prison, what happened with legos? They used to be simple.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Something happened out here while I was inside. Harry Potter legos, Star Wars legos. Complicated kits, tiny little blocks.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Who are these people?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "I had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom, and these are the only guys I've ever told.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "What is happening at this school? I have so many conversations that make no sense.", "c": ["Professor Kane"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "It's not you, it's me. I'm just trying to protect us both from more pain down the road. I may have a developmental disorder.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "I need to catch up on Breaking Bad, so... I'm so sorry. I have a developmental disorder.", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Star Wars, Star Wars. Cool, cool, cool. Hmm. You understand. You're also, quite frankly, a very weird-looking man.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "I don't know you, but I just don't trust you. And I don't think I could grow to like you. The point of what I'm trying to tell you, Todd, is that I don't want to be your lab partner. No offense.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "None taken.", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Hey, Todd! Todd, buddy! You passed the test.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "And there's no such thing as security guard detective. We don't solve crimes. We barely prevent them.", "c": ["Nunez"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "My own words rang in my head like a bell inside a head. Maybe I was crazy. Or maybe, just maybe, I was a detective.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "She was all dame, legs that went all the way to the bottom of her torso. The kind of arms that had elbows.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "The way she left, I could tell that somebody-- or something--had really put the scare on her. But what? Why? Stapler.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Man, people just can't handle the truth about Ben Sherman's winter collection.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "We spend too much time together. Jinx.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Well, maybe your gay friend should mind his own business.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Let her go, like a lobster claw letting go of a small balloon for lobsters.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Arizona backwards is still Arizona! It's a palomino!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "While he was spying, I found a turtle. It's not fair that I should be the only one here saddled with a total waste of space loser. No offense, Todd. None taken.", "c": ["Pierce", "Todd"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "This... Random. This, uh... Non-grouper.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "We go boy-girl, boy-girl. But everyone has to have a different hair color. And be from a different high school. And be a different race.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "The hair color concept intrigues me because it's how I distinguish you anyway.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "You know what, Annie? Pew, pew, pew, pew, p-- Wait, no. Pew, pew, pew, pew.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Very much so. Yes.", "c": ["Chang", "Nunez"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "You and Todd were four and five. I was four? Todd was four. I was five?", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "I'm more popular than someone!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "My mind reeled with thoughts. Voices. Stand-up premises. Why don't they just make tires out of pavement so you can drive on anything? What's up with buttons? What would happen if Nicholson was a gynecologist?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Fine, why don't I just go work with Todd? Hey, that's cool, whatever gets this project done. Oh, wow, what a great guy. I can see why all of you like him so much more than me.", "c": ["Britta", "Todd", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "You're just a good grade in a tight sweater. You're just a bad grade in a tight sweater.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "And who the hell are you always texting? Everyone you know is here.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Don't get your number four stink on this, Todd.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "You too, brute?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "I just had a terrible nightmare that Jeff was a pompous ass. Also Todd was there. Uh, no offense, Todd.", "c": ["Pierce", "Todd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Noooo! The turtle is in there!", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Your love is weird. And toxic! And it destroys everything it touches!", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "I'm going home. I'm gonna hold my wife and my child close. And I am gonna finally take my Insulin shot!", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Offense taken.", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "And eventually, this caterpillar will come out of its cocoon. And then-- Pop, pop!", "c": ["Professor Kane"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "We called you 'the mean clique.'", "c": ["Professor Kane"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "With a conspiracy this big, they're probably involved.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "I'm seriously concerned that he's mentally ill. And--and it's not funny at all. It's scary.", "c": ["Nunez"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Not to be unchristian, but that boy sucked. Aww! And his dumb baby! I know! On and on. He wouldn't shut up.", "c": ["Shirley", "Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "All right. Who did a butt? They're boobs. And I don't know. Take it again.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "Penis, penis, penis. Very mature, guys. I didn't draw a penis. Me neither. Yeah, these are all normally filled out tests. Ha ha! Gotcha! This was also a test, and you all penised. Passed.", "c": ["Abed", "Group"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Competitive Ecology"}, {"t": "\u266aTroy and Abed's new apartment! \u266a", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "avoid touchy topics like the negro problem. The book was written in the '40s.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "No, it doesn't. [about time flying when baking]", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "scale model of the rolling Boulder scene from raiders... With actual rolling Boulder. Adi\u00f3s, Sapito.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Super cool. And sexy. Super sexy cool. Overselling it.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "You didn't have some of the ingredients, so I used ketchup and cream cheese. We ordered real pizza.", "c": ["Shirley", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Bienvenido de la Casa Chez Trobed.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Indiana Jones and the apartment of perpetual virginity.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Chop busted, fellow adult, chop busted.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Didn't you used to live in a mansion with me? Yeah, but this is more my speed and century.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "I've hardly missed you at all since I had you removed from my portraits.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Serbian rum. So strong it is banned there. Banned in Serbia, Jeff. Let that concept sink in.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "I made that in Photoshop and mailed it to you a month ago so that you'd keep tonight open on your calendar.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "There's no such thing as single malt platinum boobs and billiards club?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "I guess I never said it out loud.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Don't say charades. Troy & Abed: Yahtzee! Is charades off the table?", "c": ["Unknown", "Troy", "Abed", "Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Call it Yahtzee all you want. Everybody knows it's Puerto Rican chess.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Just so you know, Jeff, you are now creating six different timelines. Of course I am, Abed.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "All this talk of going down... Did you guys know I had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "It's not namedropping if it comes up organically.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "What does a pregnancy test look like? Like a thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it. Okay, so this is definitely a gun.", "c": ["Troy", "Unknown", "Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "That's not a gun, that's a girl's peashooter.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "I don't know, people hitting their heads.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "\u266aPizza, pizza, go in tummy \u266a \u266ame so hung-ee me so hung-ee \u266a", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "That pizza guy was super creepy. So you're saying he was a pizza guy?", "c": ["Britta", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "I wonder what happened in those other timelines.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "The woman has a baking problem.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Heh, you know who got it in the long run. Eartha Kitt, when I nailed her in the airplane bathroom.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "What? Came up organically.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "It's a traditional Norwegian troll. It used to watch me sleep!", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "You're not allowed to have 'baking things' as an identity.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Excuse me for being the only married woman in a group full of horny toads who sit around all night just making googly eyes at each other.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Nobody makes googly eyes at me either. We're the same.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "More like a nervous-- Bakedown! I know! I didn't say it on purpose.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Speaking of crap, I was taking one in an airplane bathroom when Eartha Kitt decided to bang me.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Your mind went years ago.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "I can't believe those are real mahogany bunk beds in there. I bet that cost you a few allowances.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Um, I was smoking a cigarette. I know what you were doing. I'm 21 years old. I'm a man.", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "You've got a... bowl full of olives next to the toilet. It's a fancy party, Britta.", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "He keeps his toiletries in a safe under the sink.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Man, pizza guys are getting worse and worse-looking. Guess all the good ones went into porn.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "You don't have to treat me like a kid anymore, remember? Yeah, but adults still need to be protected. I-I can't help but worry about you, Annie. You're important to me.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Feel the terror! Stop the tantrum! Feel the terror of the Norwegian troll!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Hey, guys, this is Toby, our pizza delivery guy. And I know this is gonna sound nuts, but we're in love and we're getting married.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Wait, there are other timelines?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "\u266aYou don't have to put on the red light \u266a Water. Water! Water! Breathe, breathe. Nooooooo!", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. They taste just like regular-size pies.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Crap, I was not supposed to say that out loud! Crap, okay, cards on the table, I'm really high right now.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "A waterpik! A speedboat! Two waterpiks.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Drug addict? You're a pie pusher! You push pies to get love.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Stop. A little Make Out 101. Less dad talk. And, uh, you could ease up on the bubblegum lip gloss.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Give me this, you godless hippie skank! You're a sick, sad, twisted old man. And I hope you die alone.", "c": ["Shirley", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "I gotta say, I hope this is the real one, because I just found a nickel in the hallway.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "The universe is an endless raging sea of randomness. Our job isn't to fight it, but to weather it--together. On the raft of life. A raft held together by those few rare, beautiful things that we know to be predictable.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "There are six sides to this die and seven of us. He devised a system by which he never has to get the pizza.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.84, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "It's called friendship, look it up. Encarta it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "That guy sucks harder than the toilet in an airplane bathroom. Airplane bathroom...", "c": ["Unknown", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "\u266aRoxanne \u266a \u266ayou don't have to put on the red light \u266a", "c": ["Group"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "This is the darkest, most terrible timeline.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Troy lost his larynx because, for some dumb reason, he tried to destroy a flaming troll doll by eating it.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Clearly you don't understand anything about defeating trolls.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Britta, you put one wash-away blue streak in your hair. And I lost an arm.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "I made us all black goatees out of felt. I suggest you put them on until you're able to grow your own.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "I hate you! Shut up with your Sci-Fi crap! I lost my damn arm, and you're making fake beards! Goatees.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "\u266aevil Troy and evil Abed \u266a", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Remedial Chaos Theory"}, {"t": "Ruuubber spiiider!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.33, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "We're having a party, before we're going to the real party? Sometimes, I think you young people are just making this crap up.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Oh, we were wearing this when you called. Yeah, when we dress up, you'll know it.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "There's nothing in your playlist but spooky party, the Beetlejuice soundtrack, and NPR podcasts. Ooh! We could listen to one of those! I have Michele Norris interviewing Errol Morris. Don't worry, they address it.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "What? I'm one of the Fast and Furious guys. Which one? Oh, I don't know. I don't watch that shallow crap. I just pick a costume girls will like.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Jeff, can I have a quick conversation with you? Doubtful, but I support the dream.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Listen, if you dropped them in another puddle--", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Trick or Dean!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Also, I had the lights rigged to flicker because it's Halloween! It's been happening for a week. Halloween week! So the lights will work on November 1st? All Saint's day... Month!", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Like a dorito? A sociopathic dorito. A cool ranch lunatic.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "You probably just Britta'd the test results somehow.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Wait. Are people using my name to mean 'make a small mistake'? Yes.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Good! I'll start with a story about a horrible fate befalling innocent people, and then I'm curious to get individual reactions.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sure it's no biggie, but I am a horny man. I'm only half-present.", "c": ["Britta as male character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "But then I'm entitled to sex.", "c": ["Britta as male character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Embarrassed. That's an odd reaction. Seems fair.", "c": ["Abed", "Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Here we are, a log cabin I rented so we could be intimate in safety, because it's not the 50s, so we don't have to park a car and neck at inspiration point.", "c": ["Abed as male character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "I'm turned on by how logical you are. I'm comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry.", "c": ["Abed as female character", "Abed as male character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Well, I just brushed my teeth, so this would be the optimal time to kiss. Enjoyable. Soft lips. Just the right level of moisture. Would you like to do it again? No.", "c": ["Abed as characters"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "They wouldn't turn the radio on at the exact moment of the most pertinent news broadcast. It's too coincidental.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "No. We should call 911 on my fully-charged cell phone, lock the doors, and then stand back to back in the middle of the room holding knives. I love you-- Shh.", "c": ["Abed as characters"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Eventually, once it had been... Eaaarned.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Stifle your slackened maw, you drained and tainted bitch dog.", "c": ["Annie as vampire"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "I'm fine with this.", "c": ["Annie as schoolteacher"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Wait! Teach me to read. Aww. Wo... Sound it out. Wo...Rd dog hates... Cats.", "c": ["Annie as vampire and schoolteacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "And she ripped into his torso, like a gerbil shredding a quaker oats box, sending chunks of viscera and an aerosol mist of blood all over the skanky concubine.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "She kept it attached to the optic nerve, so he could see down her throat, to his own partially digested flesh in...Her...Stomach.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Well, your texture was so discompassionately macabre, as if without the slightest regard for human life.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "That's enough. Stop pinning ribbons to her.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Me and my partner are top gun fighter pilots, the best of the best. Pew pew pew.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "I thought I heard something awesome out there.", "c": ["Troy as pilot"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "I totally sewed you together!", "c": ["Troy as evil doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Now that we're sewn together, do we have E.S.P.? Yes! We're psychic now. We can destroy him with mind powers.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy as sewn pilots"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "You tried to destroy us... But you only made us... More awesome! No! I'm a j-jealous.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed", "Troy as doctor"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "We sewed your butt to your chest! Ha!", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "By sewing my butt to my chest, you've given me boobs I can touch all day. With what? Noo! Feet hands.", "c": ["Troy as doctor", "Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Keep me out of your stupid stories. I didn't say it was you. I said he was a crazy, old, racist doctor. Yeah, and I'm your crazy, old, racist friend.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Whats we gots heres? This is a home invasion, you jive mother.", "c": ["Pierce as stereotype"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.43, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "You...Are...Still...Relevant!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "That wasn't even a ghost story. It was like an episode of some show we're all too young to have heard of.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Still am, Pakistan. Wanna try me?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Yo, Jango, check it out. Swarms of locusts and tornadoes of frogs. I don't care. I lived in New York.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "All the good christians got raptured up to heaven, so if you're hearing this, the good news is you're the coolest people in the world. Yes! The bad news is the world is over. This is NPR.", "c": ["Radio announcer in Shirley's story"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Pilates is a demon that eats your genitals. But first, stabby-stabby.", "c": ["Shirley as Devil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Thank you for saving us, Shirley. I mean, your name's not Shirley, this is a story about strangers.", "c": ["Shirley as character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "I just came to say good-bye on my way to Abraham's bosom. Bye. I forgive you.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Gay marriage!", "c": ["Shirley as Devil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Shirley, that wasn't a horror story. That was a sermon. You ruined a Britta party. That's like letting poop spoil.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Where was Jeff in that story? And why was my name Jango?", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Fear. I kill because I'm afraid. Somebody, please, give me a hug. Aww! Get in here. Love hugs. Love hugs. Let it out. It's okay?", "c": ["Jeff", "Group"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "That was the gayest crap I've ever heard in my life.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Maybe he's a remorseless madman with no empathy, who eludes detection by manipulating others.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "No, no. I'm no sociopath. I always know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm just a guy that doesn't like taking tests, doing work, or getting yelled at.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "That was the gayest crap I've ever heard in my life. Yeah, Jeff. What the hell? Why are you always so determined to have us relax and put down our weapons?", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "It doesn't matter. I filled mine out randomly. Oh, come on. What? You idiot! That was probably the test that returned the psychotic result!", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Well, what kind of sociopath doesn't offer that information, like, an hour ago? No, no. I'm no sociopath. I always know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm just a guy that doesn't like taking tests, doing work, or getting yelled at. So if you think about it, that makes me the sanest person here.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "You ran these through the machine upside-down. She Britta'd it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "We should never make the Britta of Britta-ing each other's feelings. You're using it wrong. Wow. You Britta'd 'Britta'd.' Yeah, way to pull an Abed. I don't get it.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta", "Annie", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Guys, it's been three days! When are you gonna let me go? At least say something! Guys? Guys!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Should we let him go? Hmm...Let me think. Nah. More Brandy? Don't mind if I do.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "\u266a Troy and Abed sewn together \u266a", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps"}, {"t": "Thanks... by the way, that square thing is a Hampton bolt and what you just described is a manacheck maneuver.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Unclog one toilet with me and tell me you don't feel something.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "At your cervix.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry, I thought you were a lady. You can use that cervix line if you want.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "In the wipes business we call them towel-heads.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "I assumed they were just brothers or wealthy.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "What do Hawthorne wipes have to do with the choice to be gay?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "I'm going to sue the pants off that lady. - I don't think that's a lady. - And why do you want his pants off?", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "The only thing I'm attracted to is taking him to court and eating his ass alive. - Ooh! - That's not what I meant.", "c": ["Pierce", "Group"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Stop putting gay things in my mouth.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "His life must be hard enough having to sew pouches in all his miniskirts.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "They may live in defiance of God, but I'd die before I let a woman touch my hair.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Hey, what's going on with you bitches? Bitches is gay talk for friends.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Pierce's positrons have been negatized, creating anti-Pierce.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Yeah, but anti-inspector had a funny mustache and was kinda rapey.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "That's exactly what Constable Reggie said.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "They may cost more, but they're gayer.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Greendale's first annual... gay bash.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "If Mexicans were buying his wipes, he would have ridden in on a donkey.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "In my psych class I'm learning about this thing called the edible complex.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "What's that complex called where you're wrong about everything?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Rainbow, bitches. We can have peanut butter or chocolate chip.", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "You get the hell out of here! Go on!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "We hate lesbians, we hate baggy pants, and I can't believe you guys are all bears fans.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Piercinald Anastasia Hawthorne!", "c": ["Cornelius"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Why is there an astronaut in the corner making paninis?", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Isn't that right, Black Hitler?", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Oh, I always assumed your father was dead. Just mathematically.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Swedish dogs. Your blood is tainted by generations of race mixing with laplanders. You're basically Finns!", "c": ["Cornelius"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Oh, my goodness, he's like the Abed of racism.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "I can excuse racism, but I draw the line at animal cruelty. You can excuse racism?", "c": ["Shirley", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Well, if you like gay people so much, why don't you marry them?!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "This is so edible.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "No, that's how he talked to your mom.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Pierce, Pierce, Pierce!", "c": ["Gay men"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "This is the room! This is the room temperature room.", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "We're an unseen, unknown, unvincible fraternity of craftsmen.", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Will there always be paninis?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "I can't feel my pants.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Cool. I can't feel my pants.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Look at me now, dad! Yeah, look at me now, dad!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Man this party's a real sausage fest.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "I'm gonna eat Spaceman paninis with Black Hitler, and there's nothing you can do about it!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "I don't know why the word gay means dumb.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "They're not--they couldn't be more or less identical.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "was a huge mistake.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Fake heart attack. I taught him everything he knows.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Listen up, colonel crypt-keeper.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "So what?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Did you know that the Canadian Mallard is the only water fowl that bites his father's head off on the way out of the womb?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "I looked it up on the 'wackapeediah'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "I looked it up on the 'wackapeediah'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "He bought a lot of his organs from questionable sources.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "But the terms of his will clearly state that whoever kills him gets to keep it.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "'Well, I'm not scared of you anymore because you're dead, and I'm not. So, I win.' And you can suck it.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "So you're going to be what? A plumber? No, I'm not gonna be a plumber either. Because they have to deal with poop.", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Hey, Winger. You going home alone? Gay.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "How old are you guys? The question isn't how old we are... But when old we are!", "c": ["Annie", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "The question isn't how old we are... But when old we are!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Gay"}, {"t": "Some dude peed on my car while I was parking it.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Oh, you met spaghetti!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "how did Jeff dodge this bullet...Of friendship.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Pshaw!", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I forgot. You're 20.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Then...I'm lying?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "We're here to help you move...on the dance floor.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "We're live tweeting Annie's move on Twitter. Hashtag #Annie'sMove.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, and he doesn't have an agenda.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Cut the wit, Winger. Where are you, The Gap or Banana Republic?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "I'm pretending to be violently ill to avoid lifting a few boxes. Because I'm 13.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "No, I'm at The Gap. You hear that? That's not a heart monitor. It's a machine telling me I'm low on khakis.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "What are you doing after this? Probably trying a couple of boot-cuts. But after that... Maybe, like, a blazer?", "c": ["Jeff", "unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "I had a big breakfast. Nice. Tweeting it!", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Britta, don't make jokes. You're bad at it.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Man children... Can't live with them, can't leave them alone with your tape.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "When I was in Amsterdam, I met this guy who ate too many shrooms and fell out of a window at the Anne Frank house.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Britta, I don't see what your taste in men has to do with my situation.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Is it loosey-goosey or goosey-loosey? Is that hyphenated? You know what? Don't tell me. I don't need to know.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Bro...Heim.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "You broke my pluggy thing.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "That's what the security deposit is for. Hashtag #ThatIsAll.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "I used to do that kind of thing all the time when I was a slumlord.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Easy peasy, George and Weezie.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "I've seen enough episodes of Friends to know that cohabitation leads to sex, drugs and something a parade magazine called Schwimmer-fatigue.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "If you can't stop 'em, judge 'em?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "This is just like that, uh, Lake House movie. I can only assume. Even I have limits.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Off campus, I'm just a craigular Joe.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "How can I religiously persecute you? You don't have a religion.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "No, because he looks stinky.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Oh, I guess I'm just a really good person.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "I assume you've both accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior? Oh, that's nice.", "c": ["Hitchhiker", "Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "And if the room's a rockin' please come a knockin' because there's something probably terribly wrong.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "It is, one, two. Yours is a blanket fort.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "We spent our whole lives being told that blanket forts are only for special occasions, like sleepovers or when uncles die.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Well, we'll be spending enough time in yours. I mean, it's where we're gonna watch tv.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "What's a linen closet? A siesta salad and an iced tea.", "c": ["Abed", "Waiter"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "And call blackmail 'a day at the mall with Craig.'", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Well, it is a pleasure to have you in my car, Jesus.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Are you Latino? No, my child. I am him.", "c": ["Shirley", "Jesus"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Hey Jesus, just curious, what's your position on marijuana? It was given to us by God. It should be legal.", "c": ["Britta", "Jesus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Presenting the real-life fairy tale of how princess Annie was saved from bad neighborhood forest by woodsman Troy. And Bebad, his emotionally unavailable unicorn.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Brought to you by the girl-yogurt Jamie Lee Curtis uses to poop.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "\u266a Jesus loves marijuana \u266a Amen. \u266a Jesus loves marijuana and drinking human blood \u266a", "c": ["Jesus", "Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "And you emailed your therapist that you wanted to be alone this weekend.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "This one's called 'Don't You Do It.' Get out!", "c": ["Jesus", "Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Oh, oh, now the patriot act says I can do it, Jeffrey... Technically.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "No, Jeffrey, no! Don't let the terrorists win!", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "This is a space we reserved for virtual adventures. Like a playroom but only works in our minds. We call it the dreamatorium.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Including the literal hoops you put in front of the toilet.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Read the lease. Especially the part we added in crayon.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Trust us, this place can be a courtroom in the blink of an eye.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Candy cigarette? I don't want a candy cigarette. I want our Annie.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "I had some island girls over and one of them must have slipped me a Mickey.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Is napster still a thing?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Is napster still a thing?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "I have brain damage. Nothing I do counts.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Sometimes we get stuck in our own little world. And then in that world, we make even littler worlds. And sometimes there are tunnels between those worlds. Or a subway. One time a snake.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "You have them arranged by size instead of color, but-- What did I say?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Yes, like where does the water go in the iron? And what's the iron for?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Yeah, we already know that the opposite color kool-aid doesn't work.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, Jeff, did you know that when it snows my eyes become large?", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Troy scraped me when we were fork-jousting last week and I don't think it's healing right. Oh, Abed, that's infected.", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Look out, asteroids! Thanks for getting us to planet Greendalia safely, horsebot 3000.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Aim for his butt. It's his only weakness.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "I liked horsebot 3000.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Studies in Modern Movement"}, {"t": "Greendale has the most advanced typing class in the southwestern Greendale area", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Yeah, I always see it during late-night marathons of Fantasy Island", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I chose Greendale over city college because of the way that one dude goes...", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "You know I love to be seen agreeing with you, Troy", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I've chosen you, Greendale's brightest, most coincidentally diverse, hispanics not withstanding, study group", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Abed, true to form, has decided to do the weird thing and film a documentary instead of helping", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Ever seen Hearts of Darkness? Way better than Apocalypse Now", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "If it was, these glasses would be tinted, and I'd be friends with Stevie Nicks", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Well, then, I'll rent a trailer. And I won't leave it till I have the one I don't have", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I'm an actor, not a circus freak", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "It's supervisor, and I'm right behind you", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "So... basically the star", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Best buds. Air buds, even", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Feeling stupid", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Welcome to Dean-Dale community colle-dean. I'm a silly goose. Honk, honk. Dean-a-Lee-doo", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Pierce Hawthorne, screen of stage and star, will not leave this trailer until he gets a trailer", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Just because, just dean it! Dean machine. Got dean, got much, much got--", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I suggested to the dean that we shoot my scenes in front of the Luis Guzman statue because the dean has no legal right to broadcast Guzman's image, which means every shot will be unusable", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Like sex with women", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Shut up, Leonard, you smell like mentholyptus", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "The word he's looking for is 'sassy.' He better pray he don't find it", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Wowee. A real big time celebrity wants to be in my commercial", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Innnnnnnn... IMDb", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Luis Guzman is in it", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Two females, both 5'10\", one brunette, one with asthma", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "It says I'm supposed to be a book reading a book", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "This commercial is going to push every button, starting with the one that is so hot, it will sizzle your finger-- racccccce", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I am trying to pull a 400-year-old dagger out of this nation's heart, and you two are hugging", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Okay, you get this wrong one more time, I'm segregating the school", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Stop saying I'm different!", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "The dean is going insane and taking all of you with him. If you know that, then do something! I'm doing everything I can. I only have so many cameras", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I forgot what I am again. Oh, for crying out-- you are a microscope! No, that's a toilet. No, that's clearly a frog who can't get out of a box", "c": ["Garrett", "Dean Pelton", "others"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "As Jeff's understudy, I have to wear my Jeff wig on top of my Chang hair and then my bald cap on top of that. There's no air getting through here. I'm literally dying", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "But when this is all over, I'll have a commercial with Luis Guzman in it, and all they'll have are their words and their fears and whatever embarrassing photos they can get from my two-faced mother", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "The dean is a genius. He has to be. If he isn't, I've given almost two weeks of my life to an idiot. That is unacceptable. Therefore the dean is a genius", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Are you by any chance familiar with Stockholm Syndrome? Is it something that the dean created? Because if not, I don't care", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Hey, that's for Luis Guzman. Well, when you get me my trailer, he can have it back", "c": ["Pierce", "unknown"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Pierce mistook me for the dean today. I've become a stranger to myself. I'm bald now. I've always been bald. I merely dreamt of having hair", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I have made bald friends", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Go home", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "As a licensed psychology major, I am declaring this production a violation of human rights", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "If the dean wants his role to be played by a Chinese man in a blond wig--", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Oh, that's a possum. Once you spend some time with them, you see they're just like big, gentle rats", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I'm more of a fly on the wall", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Look, I loved my time here. I got laid like crazy. That's way before Boogie Nights too", "c": ["Luis Guzman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I hold five dances and two talent shows a year because I'm afraid that the school isn't good enough", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "And I'm sorry what I've done to the ice cream machine. Please, no one eat out of it until you clean the nozzles. The janitor knows how", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Is there any more of the crazy Chinese guy? He pops", "c": ["School board member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Some flies are too awesome for the wall", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "Can someone help me get a live possum out of my office? It just keeps jumping and skittering. And you think you're prepared, and then it skitters again", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "It just keeps jumping and skittering. And you think you're prepared, and then it skitters again", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I'm a star! Give me that. I will not be mitigated.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I'm a star! Give me that. I will not be mitigated", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "I'm not coming out of this trailer until I get a new trailer. And get me a granola bar!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux"}, {"t": "The question is, who am I doing this weekend? - He's asking because he's already forgotten. It's nobody.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Wait. You won't spend money on a name-brand phone, but you got lasik for your geriatric cat?", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "He only has the one eye, Jeff. I can't exactly buy him a cat monocle, can I? It's pretentious.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "And for your information, this is a totorola.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Abed is Batman now, Christian Bale.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "And just to clarify, if you see this lying out, I'm still using it, so you don't have to take it to the kitchen, dump it out, and wash the bowl.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Is this about your buttered noodles? - I didn't say that. - Yes! - Into your face!", "c": ["Annie", "Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Foosball's like the soccer of ping-pong.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, my name is Clarence Thaddeus Foos. My grandfather, Fletcher Morton Foos, invented this game for one purpose--to have the loudest, dumbest thing happen.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Tempting, but then wouldn't I be playing foosball? And, if so, how would I not be a loud, weird knob?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "I'm not even touching the foosenschaften. Sorry, luftballons. I'm above it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "I wish there was a word to describe the pleasure I feel at viewing misfortune.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "'Tis the face of a broken man.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "They, uh, -- they come in a six-pack.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Buttered noodles.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "And--and then we just have to record fake exclusive commentary by Christian Bale. Go ahead, you first. This scene was a special challenge to all involved--", "c": ["Troy", "Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Annie, do you know how many sitcoms have done the 'secretly replace a broken, priceless item' thing? 'Cause Abed does.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "I know you think you can think your way out of this with your 'thinkiness,' but don't think too much.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "That's your birthright as an American.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "It was a great after-school game for a lonely kid with no dad--you know, just masculine enough without having to know how to throw or catch.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "I have seen you throw.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "It's not a fresh-baked-pie thing.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "You don't know me.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Ho...Ly...Crap.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you guys. We've been robbed!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "They are good at foosball because they're evil. It's an evil game that brings out the worst in us, like--like out-of-town weddings where the reception's in the same place as everybody's rooms?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "After three years of religious advice and carb-laden pastries, you finally have one thing I actually need, and--", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Shut up, Leonard. I found your YouTube page. What's the point in reviewing frozen pizza?", "c": ["Jeff", "Leonard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "You're talking about it.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Remember making fun of Britta's boyfriend's tiny nipples? - Oh, yeah, they were tiny.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "That was so disturbing, I almost proposed on the spot.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Kill or be killed, little man. Think back to when this game mattered, before you got to be too cool.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "You called me Turkey. I love it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Up your ass, Turkey. Ha ha!", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Our captain was killed on duty last night. My God, I'm so sorry. Yeah. Good man--leaves behind two kids and a pregnant wife.", "c": ["Police Officer", "Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "It was gold-- white gold-- with emeralds. And my name engraved in Hebrew. It was a bat mitzvah gift from my Nana. She was a rockette. She married a count. He was blind. He loved her for her mind.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Did I ever pretend to shoot a guy in front of you to teach you about gun safety?", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Rick has keys to every apartment--means. He knows when we're coming and going--opportunity. And he was dressed as the Joker for Halloween--motive.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Oh, you are so on that things have now become very much like Donkey Kong.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Were you guys walking around with a soccer ball just so you could do that?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "That's, like, a $25 dollar bit, and it's not even that good.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "The night beckons. Its black fingers curl and uncurl, going, like, 'hey, come here.'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "But there can be no peace while crime spits and dances on the grave of justice to the hot beats of infectious rhythms of all that is wrong.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "You moving in here was supposed to tone us down.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "One time I was running this table over at this Y.M.C.A across town, and I was really giving it to this kid--this skinny little white boy, no offense.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Once you make a boy pee his pants, you start thinking about where your life is headed.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "I just beat this kid all the way to tinkle-town. Tinkle-town, tinkle-town, tinkle-town, tinkle-town.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "You were Big Cheddar? - Who told you that-- - You're tinkle-town?", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "And I had a lot of Mountain Dew that day!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Women's shoes? But Rick doesn't have a wife... Or women's feet.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "What a waste. I wish I could take a picture of you right now and send it to my ten-year-old self.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "I'm gonna put you on the express train back to tinkle-town!", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "You try sprouting three feet just when boys are about to look at you. Everyone stopped liking me. This game is all I had.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Be glad he's not into heads.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Well, maybe he stepped on it by accident and felt really, really, really bad.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "But I wouldn't mention it to Abed. That guy's pretty ruthless. And that's coming from Batman.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Hey, freudenkatzen. Ready for your schpankin'?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Let's dance, David Bowie.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "We've played enough for one lifetime. We're gonna go see a movie.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "Mmm! Mmm, the cheese is good. The sauce is good too. Mm, well, it's definitely a buy.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism"}, {"t": "They found a way to make the human being even creepier. Covering him in icicles.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Yeah, my favorite Christmas tradition is trimming the hellraiser.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Run time two and half hours and so critically reviled that after it aired, the creator has his knighthood revoked.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "That sounds terrible. I want to watch it twice", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "You Jehovah's Witnesses-- so severe.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Andre and I will be spending Christmas giving gifts to the more persuadable of our Jewish friends.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "I wouldn't call an unannounced visit from your pastor 'a gift.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "You're not taking both of them? Well, one's dead. - What?", "c": ["Annie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "I think what we've learned, Abed, is that attempts to make the holidays brighter tend to give them a certain darkness.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "What the hell are 'regionals?' They never stop talking about it.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "T-minus five seconds till hip-hop remix. Four, three. Come on! Re-re-re-remix!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Elton Lil' John Lennon!", "c": ["Glee Club"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "You're awfully quiet, Jeff. Nobody hates Glee Club more than you.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Glee club, meet ASCAP, protecting musical copyrights since 1914.", "c": ["ASCAP Agent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Merry Christmas, everyone. Glee club just became History Club.", "c": ["ASCAP Agent"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "My soul is dead!", "c": ["Glee Club Member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Okay, if anyone asks, we were never here.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "This is the second glee club we've lost in two years.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "What the hell are regionals?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "They're this close, Pierce.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Just don't call me 'late to dinner.' Unless you're serving brussels sprouts!", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.72, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "This guy's like human froyo.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Look, when the last glee club died in that bus crash, you guys stepped up.", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "It was exactly like being on ecstasy!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "He is equal parts hanson and manson.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "What the hell are regionals?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "I thought I'd give her one more tinkle before I took down decorations.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "\u266a It's like a drug that you use that turns pain into shoes and your shoes into dance \u266a", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "\u266a Glee is what I'll spread to my friends like a virus that sends them to a healthier place \u266a", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "What if you were a Jehovah's Witness that was merely pretending to be into Christmas, gathering clues and blending in to take down the holidays from within?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "You mean like a spy investigating, making it seem like I'm celebrating, when actually I'm infiltrating Santa's operation?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "\u266a a-b-e-d connoisseur of Christmas on the spectrum, none of your business \u266a", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Wait, you guys never let me rap with you.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "And they won't stop talking about regionals!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Yeah, if 'nothing' wears a sweater-vest and seems aggressively asexual.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Not liking glee club doesn't make us bullies, and implying that is reverse bullying.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Your generation invented music! I don't know about 'invented.' Perfected, maybe.", "c": ["Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Who's that guy? You guys all see him too, right?", "c": ["Britta", "Britta"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Good point. Sing about it?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "They're just trying to pander to your demographics' well-documented historical vanity. Resist!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "\u266a Santa Claus was born in 1945 He had a boogie woogie Coca-Cola army jive \u266a", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "he made the iron curtain and the Gremlins 2 fake butter and AIDS and Twin Peaks!", "c": ["Pierce (singing)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "There's a leaf on Britta's head. She's playing a tree!", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "I'm scared to go into the study room. There are so many top hats in there.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Annie, you too? This is beneath you. You are an intelligent woman. Also, you're Jewish!", "c": ["Jeff", "Jeff", "Jeff", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "\u266a Won't you be my daddy? I'm a silly Christmas baby \u266a", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Won't you be my daddy? I'm a silly Christmas baby", "c": ["Annie (singing)"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Look, eventually, you hit a point of diminishing returns on the sexiness.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "'Bwain' hurt-y, understand-y 'cwistmas' mistletoe for eat-y, taste good?", "c": ["Annie (singing)"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ is the lord Happy Birthday, Jesus", "c": ["Shirley (singing)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Uh, I thought this was regionals.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Guys, I am swelling with pride! You stepped up, and you saved the Christmas pageant! Whoo!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Guys, I am swelling with pride!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "If we win regionals, then it's straight on to sectionals. And then a week later is semis. Then semiregionals. Then regional-semis. Then national lower-zone semis!", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "This is forever. This is what we do now. This is who we are.", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "\u266a I got a Christmas time for me I got a Christmas time for a tree \u266a", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Get off the stage, and never sing again! You are the worst!", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "No! She's ruining it! Get off the stage, and never sing again! You are the worst!", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Hey! You do not get to call Britta 'the worst.' Yeah! Let her finish!", "c": ["Jeff", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "I'm not saying, 'I killed the last glee club.'", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Look, kings of Leon!", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Look, kings of Leon!", "c": ["Mr. Rad"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "I basically killed a guy.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "And I kind of attacked you guys with a fire axe.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Look how terrible this Christmas special is. [Terrible singing continues]", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean Chang, Chang, Chang, Chang Pop, pop, pop, pop My name is Alex, my name is Alex", "c": ["Tag singers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Regional Holiday Music"}, {"t": "Hot 'n' brown's coffee really wakes me up to the fact that its coffee sucks.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Now where am I going to get my cappuccinos and Sarah McLachlan CDs?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "If the good lord wanted you to have a penny, you'd have one.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Why do you look like a wealthy murderer?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "[Beep] Threat level four. [Beep] Your guests have arrived.", "c": ["Security Camera"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Wireless racism. The future of the past is now.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "I mean, not your people.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Baby, I have loved you ever since there was a Soviet union and only one Damon Wayans.", "c": ["Andre"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "There's a whole generation of viewers that didn't get to see the original. Let's hope it's more of a bale than a Kilmer situation.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "It would go fourth, seventh, second, fifth, first, third, sixth. No, wait... first then fifth. Fourth, seventh, second, first, fifth, third, sixth.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "No, she's just pro-anti.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Weddings are like little girls' tea parties, except the women are the stuffed animals, the men are making them talk, and they're not drinking tea, they're drinking antiquated gender roles.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Somebody tell Britta what an analogy is. I know what it is. It's like a thought with another thought's hat on.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "It was invented back when 'till death' meant 'till your first cold.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "I mean, just nut up and die alone.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Our church has certain policies regarding things like second weddings, and tight jeans and... Calico cats.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Inspector spacetime ended up marrying himself as a baby.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "That's the noise people make when they're offended in all the movies that Annie rents.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "It's, uh, h-t-t-p, colon, forward slash, forward slash, w-w-w, period, members, period, webplicity custom sites... All one word... period, c-o...", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, the trouser bench. For the man on the go who makes frequent stops.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Will somebody please call all the ambulances?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Yeah, I could go as normal man and you could be my trusty sidekick ordinario.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "We could dye our hair gray. And then we could lay down on the sidewalk and be invisible.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "My ninth-grade english teacher used to say, 'there will always be a reason not to follow your dreams.' At the time, he meant I was under the age of consent.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Uh, in the words of my ninth-grade english teacher, 'you are dippin' and dappin' and don't know what's happenin'.'", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Britta laughing hysterically at the idea of planning a wedding", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "I was serious.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Maybe you're misunderstanding? I mean, from my butt.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Meet Shirley, she's modern, she's urban, she's fun, and she's hungry. You probably notice she's black, but not a stereotype... Suburban black.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Is she suburban or urban? She's half-urban.", "c": ["Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Her father's a record producer, her mother's a Shirelle.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Shirley, Shirley, Shirley, Shirley, Shirley, Shirley, Shirley. Sweet, innocent Shirley. What was the question?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "You'd clearly rather be with Halle Berry in 1999.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "I'm not an entrepreneur. I'm just a kid with a bunch of money.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Please, please, help me be somebody.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Oops. These pockets. Do you know someone that can buy a pen?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "We don't call it pink. We don't call anything by its name. That's, like, day-one floral school stuff.", "c": ["Dale"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "This is citrine. This is opalescent. This is sea glass, cameo, and cerulean.", "c": ["Dale"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Color me lavender. 'Lavender' means 'impressed.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "There are people dying in Uganda.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Troy and Abed being normal.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "You once convinced Troy that turtlenecks were made of turtles' necks.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Keeping turtlenecks as an option for myself, down the road.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Where'd I get all that money I'm holding?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "I refused to give Santa a christmas list, because I didn't want to depend on any man for anything.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "I'm Betty Crocker. I'm Martha Stewart. I'm one of the Steppenwolf wives.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "We're heavily invested in your situation.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "'Webster's dictionary defines'? That's the Jim Belushi of speech openings... It accomplishes nothing, but everyone keeps using it and nobody understands why.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "That took me eight hours and six macallan neatses.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "And how fiscal will the quarterly earnings be?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Don't you dare use your sexy voice on me.", "c": ["Andre"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "These shrimp are to die for.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "What if once you go from being weird to normal, you can never go back to being weird again?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Shut up, Leonard! Those teenage girls you play ping-pong with are doing it ironically.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "My daddy said he would stay with my mommy forever, and he left! Marriage is a lie!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "I'm gonna stay with somebody forever. It's in my stupid DNA. I was born to be a wife and that's all I'm ever gonna be!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "I promise to earn no more than 70% of what you would make at the same job.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Pick a number, dick!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "It's a risk that you take together. And you don't just promise it once. You got to promise it every day.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "iPods aren't going away, and maybe it's time to let somebody else take the lead?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "You can save like, um, 70 bucks.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Lame.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "What'll they think of next?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "What sort of creature would do a dance called the Lindbergh lean? Blorgons?", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "I'm a blast at weddings.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Remember that temper tantrum he threw when Adam Sandler 'stole' his idea for Jack and Jill?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "Look at me now, dad! How's it taste? How many sandwich places did you have? None!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "How many sandwich places did you have? [Cackles] None!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"}, {"t": "baby Ben got to be baby Jesus in our church's nativity play. Andre was Joseph, and Jordan was one of the wise men, and I was in charge of casting.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I digitized my entire movie collection. Goodbye, VHS. Hello, SelectaVision CED Videodisc.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I'm very psyched for the new semester. Or should I say... Intro to Human Psyched.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.78, "im": 3.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "The worst.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Don't you do way too much of that already?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Accusational opposition disorder.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "It appears you've all noticed that my swagger has a new swagger.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I explained that really well.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I'm an exceptional narcissist, Britta.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I didn't kill my wife! / I don't care.", "c": ["Harrison Ford impersonator", "Tommy Lee Jones impersonator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "He spent New Year's locked in our bathroom with a bad Tom Hanks from Cast Away. / Abed was the volleyball?", "c": ["Troy", "Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Chang, they're just acting!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I wouldn't do that. I have a heavy flashlight for them.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "We now get 80% of our electricity from the apartment building across the street.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I don't know who told you pouting was an option for you, but all you're making me feel right now is hatred of Renee Zellweger.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "You won't regret this unless I rise up against you. I don't know why I said that. Bye.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Huh! Tah! Zhou! Zeet! Dah! Toi!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Oh, that thing about Danny Thomas? I looked it up too. Weird.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Okay, look. This apple is your ego. Imagine it expanding to the point of critical mass, taking over your whole personality, making you an uncontrollable monster.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Britta, how did an apple make that clear? Imagine it expanding? Use a balloon.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Thank you, Leonard, for that compliment, and for your service to this country.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Final boarding call, beefcake airways.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Even his shadow! Look at his shadow!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "French Stewart. But I don't have three grand.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Holy crap, you'd make an amazing Seacrest.", "c": ["Vinnie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "You're actually more handsome than the guy that's famous for being handsome.", "c": ["Vinnie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Got an Oprah. And sitting next to her is a Judy Garland or an Anne Hathaway. Add a few extra teeth.", "c": ["Vinnie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Fat Brando. / Burt Reynolds. / What? / What?", "c": ["Vinnie", "Troy", "Shirley", "Troy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Next time it'll be $10,000, and then $20,000, and then he'll hit rock bottom and have no one to turn to but Jesus. I say we let this play out.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Abed is a magical, elf-like man who makes us all more magical by being near us.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Who got you a DVD of Precious, based on the novel Push, by Sapphire, and a copy of the novel Push autographed by Sapphire?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Fat Brando. / Burt Reynolds.", "c": ["Vinnie", "Troy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I send two guys that look a lot like Ving Rhames and Michael Chiklis. And they do a very convincing impression of breaking your friend's legs. Their secret is... They actually break them.", "c": ["Vinnie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I wouldn't want him next to me in a foxhole.", "c": ["Vinnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Aw, zip it, white Jacko.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "If you have anything else to say, say it in a high-pitched voice while walking backwards.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Jeff is in grave danger. Hee-hee!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Which one? / Do I have to say it?", "c": ["Bouncer", "Shirley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Burt Reynolds. / Why not? / Do I have to say it?", "c": ["Troy", "Troy", "Bouncer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I'm Brando. / Could be under 'fat.' / Totally.", "c": ["Shirley", "Bouncer", "Bouncer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I was so sad to hear of your passing. / Me too.", "c": ["Abed", "Lorenzo Lamas impersonator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "What movie were Jamie Lee Curtis and Lorenzo Lamas in together? / See, now I'm just embarrassed for you because you've never seen Lorenzo's Oil.", "c": ["Chang", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Lorenzo is an oil tycoon that gets his address book switched with Jamie Lee Curtis', and they give each other piggyback rides.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I can't believe... did you go to college? / Yes. No. Whatever.", "c": ["Chang", "Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "It's amazing, you're actually more handsome than the guy who's famous for being handsome.", "c": ["Party guest"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "You look like a friend of mine. / You're friends with Moby?", "c": ["Kid", "Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "You have bad posture. When you do too many push-ups, it looks like you have boobs. The tile in your bathroom is tacky. You were emotionally closed off in bed to the point where one time, I didn't come up because I couldn't find close enough parking. You have an unusually high butt crack.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "You have an unusually high butt crack.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Thank you. It couldn't have been easy for you to lie like that.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "There's awards?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Nah. Oh, give me a break. It's his Bar Mitzvah. / There's an award for most handsome young man!", "c": ["Jeff", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Nooo!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Look at me! Look at meee!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "I love you, dad! I knew you'd invite the Hulk!", "c": ["Howie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Boogie Nights. / You're fat Burt Reynolds, right? / I'll take it.", "c": ["Troy", "Vinnie", "Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "It's your femur bone. He needs some money. He's broke. Ha ha ha. Hey. Laughter's the best medicine.", "c": ["Patch Adams impersonator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "So we just spent our whole night paying off your debt, and you're blowing money on a Patch Adams?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "It's two for one. We're doing Popeye next. Ah-ga-ga-ga-ga. Get him some spinach. I'm Olive Oyl.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Then I guess you're gonna have to trust that you're gonna have to trust me.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "You know, Seacrest Hulk, you're a meshugeneh.", "c": ["Party guest"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Maybe that should be me. / You are way out of my league, diagnostically speaking. I'm gonna go with someone a little less complicated. Like Abed.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "You can drive faster, change direction. And the only pee breaks are yours. / Are you real? / Are you?", "c": ["Abed", "Evil Abed", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "This is really crazy. And inaccessible, and maybe too dark. / Maybe to them, but not to us.", "c": ["Abed", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Who's ready to chang the world? Chang! Chang! Chang! All hail Chang!", "c": ["Chang", "Students"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Contemporary Impressionists"}, {"t": "Dean struggling to open ribbon with his teeth, saying 'The legitimate!' repeatedly while fumbling", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "That should be my sandwich shop. It was my idea to put one there.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "They're tenting our building for termites, so we're homeless. I'm staying in the sleep study lab. All I have to do is wake up every three hours and go... And I get two credits.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Another pillow fort? Kind of repeating yourselves, aren't you? That was a blanket fort. This will be a pillow fort. Way more difficult, way better.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "All difficult things are better, like carrying a disease or holding in a fart right now.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "My brain starts getting weird this time of night. It's 10:00 a.m. You're welcome.", "c": ["Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "I don't recall seeing Subway in my premenopausal, postfeminist experiential marketing class. Actually, I'm on the wait list for the premen/postfem/ex mark.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Gang, meet Greendale's newest student, Subway. Your name is Subway? Yep, using a groundbreaking but surprisingly legal process known as 'corpohumanization'", "c": ["Dean", "Group", "Subway"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "I don't believe this. Come on, Subway, there is no way you're 5'10\".", "c": ["Britta", "Subway"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "So you can vote? Actually, no, because technically I'm only a week old. Aww.", "c": ["Annie", "Subway", "Group"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Wow, did you know Greendale students are technically in the army reserves? Let's say a little prayer for peace.", "c": ["Subway"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Wait, since when do we have lockers? Uh, since registration day, 2009. Jeff, did you skip the Preorientation Freshman Welcome Seminar and Diversity Fire Circle?", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "'We're only allowed to bring one stuffed animal. I'm bringing Ruthie... But using her pouch to sneak in Nathan.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Halloween dance. Post-Halloween dance. Dance contest. Contest dance.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Save Garrett? What's wrong with Garrett? Nothing now. We saved him.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Wait, that's 'saved' Garrett? [shocked reaction to seeing Garrett]", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Gesundheit. I didn't sneeze.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Look at these idiots. Cattle, sheep... Other animals that travel in herds. I want to say snakes.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "I totally predicted this in my High School newspaper column 'Britta unfiltered.' Unfiltered. I get it. Get what?", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "You're a progressive woman of a more... liberated looseness.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Microphones hidden in lipstick. Lipstick hidden in microphones. And the deadliest weapon of them all... The penis flytrap.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "I am not a whore, and not that I've done the math, but if I were, I'd be the super classy kind that gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, silly me! This is a coupon for 20% off at bed bath & beyond. No need to bribe me, Troy. Actually...", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "But if we won, we might meet that dude with the curly fingernails. Shridhar Chillal? Not interested. I saw him on a talk show. He came off as pretentious.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "You and Abed have always reminded me of the inspector and his trusty constable Reggie. Cool! The inspector, of course, is smart, decisive, and Reggie is... Well, he's Reggie.", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne", "Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Reggie is trained in zero-gravity martial arts and has a whistle. Yeah. But he never really gets to blow the whistle unless the inspector says it's okay.", "c": ["Troy", "Vice Dean Laybourne"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Kim's no longer with us. She died two weeks ago. What? Sorry to drop that on you and run, but there's a rally for Garrett. But we saved him. Did we?", "c": ["Student", "Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "'But we saved him.' 'Did we?'", "c": ["Jeff", "Student"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "What do you recommend? What's it to you, meat pusher? Sounds like you might be a vegetarian. You should try Subway's Veggie Delite.", "c": ["Britta", "Subway"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "You should try reading Orwell's 1984. I have. It's a great book. It really awakened me in High School. I think kids should be forced to read it. Me too. Anyway, you're living it.", "c": ["Britta", "Subway"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Is that you, Subway? My eyesight ain't what it used to be. Eat these tater tots, Harry. For what it's worth, I think you might see more than all of us.", "c": ["Pierce", "Subway"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Top-notch whoresmanship, Britta. Pierce. Sorry. Whoreswomanship. Forgot it was the '90s.", "c": ["Pierce", "Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "'Yep, that's me, the girl who's going to destroy the big sandwich company with the dreamy eyes.'", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Powerful passage, isn't it? 'She had become a physical necessity.' You circled this paragraph. I can't say that I did.", "c": ["Subway", "Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "I want to run a nonprofit shelter for handicapped animals. Dogs with wheels for hind legs. Deaf hamsters. One-eyed cats? Well, they weren't on the top of my list, but sure.", "c": ["Subway", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Why do I always have to be your Reggie? What? I wanted to make a blanket fort, and you never even gave it a second thought. I'm not even your sidekick. I'm your underkick.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Have fun stacking pillows like a baby.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "You think that's what an apology is? A spell you cast on another person to make them forgive you? Apologies are opportunities to admit your own mistakes.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "But I was going to lie there. I was going to invest in IBM in 1952, but life is full of disappointments.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "You never lived anywhere. You're a weapon designed for sex. You only think you lived in New York 'cause I implanted your memories.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Did you just drink ink? Just plant this on Subway, and you'll never have to see him again. Until then, keep him interested. And for God's sakes, slap some life on those dead lips.", "c": ["Britta", "Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "'And for God's sakes, slap some life on those dead lips.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'll remember that when I'm being given a key to the secret guinness record holders' clubhouse, where I'll be hanging with those two fat guys on motorcycles and being fitted for a beard of bees.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Is that what you want, Troy? For me to destroy my pillow fort so you could set your record? It is. Magnitude. Evacuate fort Abed, and prepare for self-destruct. Sir? Do it. We're done here. Pop, pop, Captain.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy", "Magnitude"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Only the primal remains. To me, you are simply a physical necessity.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no. No, this is wrong, Pierce. I just wanted to open a sandwich shop. I did not sign up for this.", "c": ["Subway"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Because you never remember who I am. First year, we hung out, like, ten times. And each time, you introduced yourself to me. That's why I wrote that note. And then today, it's like you still don't remember me. And... and you still assume from my name that I am a girl.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "16% of all people named Kim are men.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "I thought I was teaching you a lesson about all the girls you dominate and then ignore. Not to waste your energy on some weird, cloying, hypersensitive stalker with a girl's name. Hey! You are really mean. Put it in a letter, Jane Austen.", "c": ["Annie", "Kim", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "This world is run by the unremarkables. Don't do what you always do, Abed. Don't corrupt the host to pacify the parasites.", "c": ["Mysterious Figure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Now please turn your head while I crawl away. I'm going through some stuff right now. I'm very insecure.", "c": ["Mysterious Figure"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "That got unhealthy real quick. That... okay, that's... yeah, that's weird. That is well out of the mainstream. You know, I was raised in the... the Bay Area, but I... I'm a father now.", "c": ["Subway Executive"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "If someone could hand me my jacket. It's right over there on the coatrack next to the door. If somebody could just hand it to me, that would be great. I guess I'm confused. Why don't you just grab it on your way out the door... You know what? Now I'm not leaving.", "c": ["Subway Executive"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "'If someone could hand me my jacket. It's right over there on the coatrack next to the door. If somebody could just hand it to me, that would be great.'", "c": ["Subway Executive"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "'Now I'm just going to sit for a while and focus on how unacceptable today was.'", "c": ["Subway Executive"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Britta, you silly. It is me, Subway. What? I had a great time with you last night in the pillow fort, the one exception being the deviant sex act you initiated without my consent.", "c": ["New Subway", "Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "'I had a great time with you last night in the pillow fort, the one exception being the deviant sex act you initiated without my consent.'", "c": ["New Subway"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Watch it, Star-Burns. My name is Alex!", "c": ["Star-Burns", "Student"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "Soon Troy and Abed will be torn asunder, and an unencumbered Troy will turn to his destiny... The air conditioning repair school. You are a cold-blooded man, sir. Yes. How unfortunate for Troy and Abed.", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne", "Assistant"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Digital Exploration of Interior Design (1)"}, {"t": "There was a point where all I saw were feathers. Then I started swinging. And then I hit something and heard someone fall. Could've been somebody from my side.", "c": ["Unknown narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "A health care administration student, who turned the storage room into a sanctuary for soldiers with broken glasses and lightly grazed testicles.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "A high school dropout and amateur photographer whose borrowed camera would capture some of the war's blurriest, most poorly framed moments.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "A loving wife and mother who would prove to be as skilled at kicking asses as she was at wiping them.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "The dried-up heir to a moist towelette empire, who would prove to be the dried-up heir to a moist towelette empire.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "He would later say of the war, 'it was awesome, but also, it wasn't?'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "an uncompromising tactical mastermind feared by all yet unable to pay parking tickets or know left from right without mouthing the pledge of allegiance.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "costing hundreds of dollars and resulting in over 12 transfers.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "'So it was a pillow fight,' to which I say... 'You weren't there.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "If there's one thing I've learned at this place, it's that a film crew means disaster.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "I'm giving you two imaginary Friendship Hats that automatically make you friends again. Are we done?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "You're children acting like grown-ups. I mean, it's fine. But just don't pretend it's anything but that.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Friends so close, they once graced the cover of Friends Weekly, a pretend magazine of their own design.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "It's just like crawling through a hug. Well... I guess all hugs have to come to an end.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Troy declares the Declaration Lame, stating that thinking records are dumb is stupid.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "My name is Alex!", "c": ["Star-Burns/Alex"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "A softly lobbed, hypoallergenic sealy select in a floral print case collides with a load-bearing broomstick", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "It was later named 'The Study Room Kerfuffle.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "I'm giving you an 'all tomato,' meaning that you give me the whole tomato or else.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Do people go to classes?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Pierce Hawthorne takes Troy's side, citing that Abed is weirder and more foreign.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "I'll be home late, sugar boots. Abed hurt Troy's feelings by being a robot. Need to stay with my boy to make sure Britta doesn't put him on the weed.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "You know what it sounded like? That's right, Jackson. Silence.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "But there's a lot of us folks from the scene in between saying, 'Hey, we're all looking to chill out and lay down with someone special.'", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "You hit someone, and if they went down, you stop hitting them. Call that Common Courtesy. Then what if they get up? Do you maybe keep hitting them till they learn to stay down? We call that Common Sense.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Blanketsburg has drawn first blood. Pillowtown will draw First Blood part II.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "And I ask Garrett to please fix the microphone on my laptop. It's doing that thing again.", "c": ["Troy", "Garrett"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "just because something is in black and white doesn't mean it's good.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Pierce Hawthorne suffers broken glasses, a hurt finger, and erectile dysfunction, which, in his words, had never happened ever before that battle.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "'Pillows, but no sleep. Feathers, but no birds. Pajamas without children. Violence without purpose. I saw mommy kissing Exxon Mobil.' Amanda Johnson. Poet by choice, lesbian by birth.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Winger's critics suggest he merely improvised hot-button patriotic dogma in a Ferris Bueller-ian attempt to delay schoolwork. Winger decries the accusation as, 'A slanderous betrayal akin to 9/11.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Later after the war, he would refer to the theory as 'essentially accurate.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "'Jeff, just heard from one of Abed's soldiers that you gave an identical speech to troops at Pillowtown. WTF? Sad face. Special icon of a downward thumb.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "'You can buy special icons and packages at the app store. Piece of Sushi, birthday cake, stop sign, snowman, umbrella.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "I hope to God we'll never have to use it. Oh, me too.", "c": ["Pierce", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "They were later nicknamed 'The Changlorious Basterds,' like Inglourious Basterds, but with 'Chang' instead of 'In.' I don't get it either.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "One of the interns said they were making necklaces out of mattress tags.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "This is when things get as ugly as they can get... While still being a pillow fight.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "'Birthday cake, birthday cake, unicorn, woman's shoe. How's the nurse thing going?' No response.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "He is part man, part pillow... All carnage.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "'It will escalate to Rambo III, which should really be called First Blood part III. But the Rambo titles never made sense. And neither does war.'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Well, that's what conversation is, Annie. People saying things to get stuff.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "If I write stuff down in a Hello Kitty book, will you like me again?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "'He gets distracted by loud noises, the color red, smooth jazz, shiny things, food smells, music boxes, bellbottoms, boobs, barking dogs, and anyone saying, Look over there!'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "'It's incredibly easy to make him cry. And he's incredibly ashamed of that fact.'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "'NOBODY ELSE WILL EVER HAVE MY PATIENCE WITH YOU!'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Our friendship is dead. What? Yeah, I think we should agree right now that whoever wins this war can stay in the apartment. Loser has to find a new place. Agreed.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Uh, I wanted that to go different.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "The North Cafeteria, named after admiral William North, is located in the western portion of East Hall, gateway to the western half of North Hall, which is named not after William North, but for its position above the South Wall.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "named after English Memorial, a portuguese sailor that discovered Greendale while looking for a fountain that cured syphilis.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Well, that's it. I just heard from the Guinness rep. He's not coming. He's been fired, in what he described as the world's biggest mistake. I doubt that will make the next edition.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "What a colossal waste of 21/2 days.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "This is going to be the last thing we ever do together. We can't stop.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "We're not stupid, Jeffrey. We know you made those sarcastically.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "But that's not the way you have to be.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "You left the magical Friendship Hats at the Dean's office. Right. Of course. I'll go get them.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "So Jeff went out, and he stayed out long enough to make them believe he had gone back to the office. That was a nice touch.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Pierce, take that off. I can't hear you! Your cheeks are in the way.", "c": ["Pierce", "Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "I fixed them up even though I was the only one watching because I settled on a truth today that's always going to be true. I would do anything for my friends, which I think is how everyone in the world feels, which finally makes me understand war.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "which finally makes me understand war.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "We tried to get Tom Hanks, but he's too expensive. So we used the people involved for their own voiceover. Yeah, and I nailed that too.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, were you in The Cape? No.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "The Annie's Boobs Story or That's Enter-Chang-Ment.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "We are literally this close to losing our...", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Pillows and Blankets (2)"}, {"t": "Best friends, best friends... \u266a Making a cake \u266a - Wait. Ah. \u266a Best friends, best friends \u266a \u266a making a cake \u266a - Pyoo! I never thought I'd miss it.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "How come I'm not best friends with anyone in the group? Aw! Don't patronize me. Oh.", "c": ["Pierce", "Group"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Just letting the students know that if you're on campus this weekend, you'll have to park on the street because of the carnival. On an unrelated note, I'm into trains now.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Choo choo!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "His name is Blade and... What? Oh, no, Britta!", "c": ["Britta", "Group"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "She invoked friendship to undercut the laugh, and we're still laughing. That's how funny it is!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "His name is Blade. Is that legal? Shouldn't new line cinema be suing him?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "And it was a marvel comic in 1973. Well, nerd alert. Well, ex-boyfriend named Blade alert.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Her love life makes Pierce seem with it. Her pain unifies us. She has the king Arthur of bad taste in men.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "I don't understand. Uh, Andre much? Okay, I understand. I don't. You will. What's that mean? He's hung. Oh, God!", "c": ["Troy", "Shirley", "Troy", "Annie", "Shirley", "Troy", "Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Just like that I'm disgusting again. I was one of the gang. It was in my hand.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "So what, Britta? You're in love with a guy who's named after a kickboxing vampire movie? A fantastic kickboxing vampire movie.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "All that wasted time going to my car for mid-afternoon wardrobe adjustments.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "You're gonna change your shirt? Not if it's working. It's not working. Yeah. You're right. I knew it.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff", "Annie", "Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "I'll have what she's having. Hey, grow up, lady! Annie! His shirt wasn't working!", "c": ["Troy", "Annie", "Troy", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "I will end up doing him like a crossword, and I will regret it.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "You were a pillhead, so think of Blade as Adderall. And handcuff me to the radiator like a mother-flipping carny-banging werewolf.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Man, I wonder how many women I've affected this way. Ha ha!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "All aboard the human being railway! Next stop, spo-- I'll get to the point.", "c": ["Murray", "Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Oh, a wonderful opportunity for a young man of... Urban race.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Natalie, could you get me a, um, book on how to do things? You know what, just make me a scotch and soda. Make it yourself! I don't know how.", "c": ["Dean", "Secretary", "Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Yeah, see that sword? It has two blades. One blade is silver, the other blade is infused with garlic.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Can you check my messages for me and tell me if he called? What if my mother died?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "This is junkie talk. You just wanna know where your phone's hidden.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "That's right, Britta. It's a banana. Why is there a banana in your DVD cabinet? Read the banana, Britta. 'You are a lying junkie.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "You're Hitlers! You're racist pedophiles! You're the opposites of Batman!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "You don't know what that means.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "You tell anyone we did this, I will stop letting you do things with me I'm afraid to tell anyone about.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "I decided to go outside the group for a best friend. And you couldn't do better than Chang?", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Cotton candy? Russian roulette? What did you say? Cotton candy sounds great.", "c": ["Chang", "Pierce", "Chang", "Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "He's not as good-looking as you. I wasn't fishing for that. No, no, no. I offered it freely.", "c": ["Shirley", "Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Obviously the deal is he's a dirtball, Britta hates herself, voila.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Won't change how mustard tastes. I get it. I see the appeal. He's relaxed, he's cool. N-not as cool as you.", "c": ["Blade", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "You're a sister to me. Britta! Whoo! Hey, little sis, do you think you could trust me to have my phone back now?", "c": ["Britta", "Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "I secretly switched Blade's number in her phone to my number. So if she tries to get in touch with him, it'll come to me. That's diabolical. Yeah, you're just like Blade, man. Straight up.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "And she is so codependent! And such a bad speller.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Your parents named you Blade? Apparently. Well, you seem okay with it. Not much to do about it. You could change it. To what? Templeton Ferrari III? Won't change how mustard tastes.", "c": ["Jeff", "Blade", "Jeff", "Blade", "Jeff", "Blade"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Won't change how mustard tastes. I get it. I see the appeal. He's relaxed, he's cool. N-not as cool as you.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "\u266a Would you let me be your best friend \u266a \u266a I would call you every day \u266a", "c": ["Chang", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "I'm texting to tell you I'm not texting you any more. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Are you mad at me now? Fine. I guess you don't wanna know our two-year-old.", "c": ["Annie reading Britta's texts"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Dean, why are you here? Ouch.", "c": ["Troy", "Dean"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Step right up! Ding, ding, ding! Get your popcorn here. Hello? Busy, babe. Blade, just wait. Wait, Bla... I told you not to call me at work!", "c": ["Troy", "Abed", "Annie", "Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "She's whipped by an imaginary douche.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Hey, don't knock it till you try it. I got my fake bachelor's degree, and then I cheated on the LSAT.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "You're probably wondering, how do you cheat on the LSAT? How? A magician never reveals his secrets, my friend.", "c": ["Chang", "Pierce", "Chang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Why do we wanna know how to blow up the earth or grow a human ear on a mouse? In case we have to, Shirley. In case we have to.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "How do we keep it going? How do we know we won't get into a fight? I say we just let it happen. Don't tell me what to do! What's your problem? What's yours? I'm outta here!", "c": ["Pierce", "Chang", "Pierce", "Chang", "Pierce", "Chang", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "You dropped over 300 bucks on my booth, so I'll tell ya. You wanna know my secret? Yes. Yes, I do.", "c": ["Blade", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "You should really join the air conditioning repair program. / No. / Well, that didn't work. That's what I get for improvising.", "c": ["Dean", "Troy", "Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "You weren't texting Blade, you were texting us. I switched Blade's number in your phone to mine. You tricked me? You tricked me!", "c": ["Annie", "Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "He's brain damaged. Well, let's not be petty. No, I'm serious. He showed me the scar.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley", "Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "A loose bolt flew off a Ferris wheel and imbedded in his skull, destroying the part of his brain that feels shame.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "We can't keep going to each other until we learn to go to ourselves. Stop making our hatred of ourselves someone else's job and just stop hating ourselves.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Y'all ever notice that cold spot in the hallway? Oh, yeah! That thing is freezing! You know what could learn a lesson from that cold spot? The air conditioning unit in my living room.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Y'all ever notice that cold spot in the hallway? Oh, yeah! That thing is freezing! You know what could learn a lesson from that cold spot? The air conditioning unit in my living room.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "I couldn't remember where I imagined the door. Then I realized I was in an actual bathroom.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "Y'all ever notice the difference between me and Troy brushing our teeth? I brush my teeth like this. Troy brushes his teeth like this. I do! I do! I brush my teeth just like that.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Origins of Vampire Mythology"}, {"t": "\"Kevin, please come over for gay sex.\" / \"Why wouldn't you use 'Karen'?\" / \"'Cause it's gay sex, dummy.\"", "c": ["Troy", "Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Why wouldn't you use 'Karen'?\" \"'Cause it's gay sex, dummy.\"", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Ah, the duali-Dean of man.\"", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "Dean dressed in elaborate costume for simple announcement", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"I could watch the first half of three movies.\"", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Their manager wears a tie.\"", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"You just keep turning left, but you end up up!\"", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "He said Die Hard was bad. / I know, buddy.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"I can't go to Se\u00f1or Kevin's. The manager and I are enemies. He said Die Hard was bad.\"", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Is this a social cue?\"", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "Dean's confessional about going to the bank in costume", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Come on, Craig. Get your life together.\"", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Oi, gov'ner, quantum spammer, up an' at 'em, in'it?\"", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"It's Blorgons with an 'r'. Blo-gon means 'thank you' in blorgon.\"", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Can't we play something I know about like hospital administration?\"", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"I kind of do.\" [have a patent on being a control freak]", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "Abed's elaborate explanation of the Dreamatorium's 'higher functions'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"I don't usually support lunch because it's unfair to breakfast.\"", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"I guess that explains why you never see any two of them on the same table.\"", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"I'm too busy misunderstanding the whole point of Die Hard.\"", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Abed, it's cardboard tubes and a funnel.\"", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Well you see it that way because it's calibrated to a specific level of brain function... Not stupid, just less able to see what I see.\"", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"King of toilet paper rolls over here.\"", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"And another thing I hate about Die Hard, two FBI agents named Johnson.\"", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "Annie forcing empathy on Abed as a process step", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Oh, my God, I broke Abed.\"", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Were we... doing it?\" / \"Are you being Jeff?\"", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Well, I'm not being a Kardashian.\"", "c": ["Abed-as-Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"damn our two foot height disparity, I want you.\"", "c": ["Abed-as-Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"I'm a surgeon!\" / \"And I'm your administrator!\"", "c": ["Abed-as-Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Who do you think inseminated her?\"", "c": ["Abed-as-Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "Truth serum confession sequence", "c": ["Abed-as-Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"I didn't get Inception.\"", "c": ["Abed-as-Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"There's so many layers.\"", "c": ["Abed-as-Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"'Cause I think I'm on a train.\"", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"And there's more where that didn't come from.\"", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Maybe Leonard was watching from the bushes and told Abed about it.\"", "c": ["Abed-as-Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"I don't have cable.\"", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"control freak with no empathy. People bend over backwards to cater to him. Signed, healthcare administrator Annie Edison.\"", "c": ["Abed-as-Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"This is why you played matchmaker... there's nothing standing in the way of us.\"", "c": ["Abed-as-Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"We're just in love with the idea of being loved.\"", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Star Wars. Zardoz, Cougar Town, cool, cool, cool.\" / \"Pop culture, pop culture. I'm on a TV show. Meta, meta.\"", "c": ["Annie", "Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Can I just interject and say I don't know what the hell's going on?\"", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Troy invents Dance Pants in 2019. Don't tell him, he needs to stumble onto it.\"", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Did we have a space odyssey? No, we got snowboarding in the Olympics and we over-validated Carson Daily.\"", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"That poor guy.\" / \"Yeah, cry me a river.\"", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"You've got the body type.\" [for yoga]", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Don't you mean 'whenever that is'?\"", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"You'll blo-gon me for this later.\"", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"I almost sat on my balls, but at the last second, I made an adjustment.\"", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "Dean's bank story about deep conversations", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"Okay, I didn't really avoid sitting on them. I sat right on them.\" / \"Hurt like hell. I saw eagles.\"", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"That's laser tag with sport coats.\"", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "Annie's bedroom makeover disaster and the guys' traumatic reaction", "c": ["Annie", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "\"We can put it back. We can put it back the way it was.\"", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Virtual Systems Analysis"}, {"t": "Law & Order parody opening with 'goofballs' and 'eggheads'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Hey, she's the one putting her hands in my mouth", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "That's the first time those words have actually been true", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Why don't I just get pregnant at a bus station?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Now if you'll excuse me, I was watching Mama's Family", "c": ["Professor Kane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "You let me handle the nitty gritty", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "It's been a long 15 years. Looks like it's gonna be a late night", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "It's not a short straw. It's a hot potato. Yeah, well, looks pretty cold to me", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Cold? Or dead?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "We can't both do the zinger", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Okay, okay, five-to-one on the black guy", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "That's offensive. Fine, six-to-one", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Youth! Scatter!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "I... fell asleep in a sunbeam", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Actually it is. I used to live with him, it's kind of adorable", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Duh-doy! Todd", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Cut yourself on an extra sharp Oscar Wilde play?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Why not raisin?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "You can dance all day, Todd, but sooner or later, the music's gonna change", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "old west color. I don't know. I thought it was cool", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Eight plus two times five... Ten after 8:00. I'm gifted in other ways", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Magnitude.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Pop pop!", "c": ["Magnitude"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "That doesn't make sense. You don't order ketchup. It's a condiment!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Troy, Troy, hey, walk it off! Troy, walk it off!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Sorry, my friend, he's a bad cop. Yeah. I'm a good cop. Oh, good. You can trust me", "c": ["Abed", "Star-Burns"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "And you got nothing on me. And I don't have to stay here, 'cause you're not cops", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "He's right. You're not cops. I'd say our hands are tied, but we basically have no hands", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "I can both see and hear you", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Sure, if the gardener's Joseph Mengele", "c": ["Lab Technician"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "You need a boot", "c": ["Lab Technician"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Well, whoever did do this does owe you guys a letter. An 'A.'", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "We named the yam 'Pam.' It rhymed", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Keep the change, Garret. You know what? Keep the hot dog", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "And you're sure you heard a kitten meowing in here? Not anymore, so hurry up", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Whoa, Nelly!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Clean up on aisle 'busted'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Why do they always r... Why do they always... You go ahead. Why do they always run?", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Kiss me! What? I'll explain later. No. I'll explain later. The explanation isn't the issue", "c": ["Star-Burns", "Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Look, I-I swiped some beakers for the meth lab that I'm building in the trunk of my car", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Pinky swear?", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "He weaves baskets and lies", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Todd Jacobson, you have the right to do whatever you want. Nothing you say or do can be used against you by anyone, but we'd really like it if you came with us. Please and thank you", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "A pinky swear? This is ludicrous. This whole school is ludicrous", "c": ["Colonel Archwood"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Yo, man, you spent your life in the army. I spent mine in prison. Two places where a man's word is only as good as his uniform", "c": ["Professor Kane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Now out here, it's supposed to be different. And in my class, it will be", "c": ["Professor Kane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "A man's gotta have a code", "c": ["Professor Kane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Abed! Abed! Abed! Walk it off! Walk it off!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "I'm sorry about my partner. He... he's been on edge ever since we switched", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "A man who for all we know is a holocaust-denying, 9/11 pedophile", "c": ["Colonel Archwood"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "A hero doesn't call himself a hero. A hero gets called a hero because of what he does", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "And I gotta tell you, Todd. Couldn't find a thing. Not one little smudge. Except, of course, for one pesky yam that just wouldn't grow", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Is that why you hit your wife? Withdrawn. Is that why you drink and pop pills? Withdrawn. Are you a virgin? Withdrawn", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "No, you zip it, Uncle Knobby", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "I'm not fighting your wars anymore", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Defuse the I.E.D. of dishonesty", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Booyah! That's how it's done! \u266a Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah \u266a", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "I'm telling your mother", "c": ["Colonel Archwood"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Always have an exit strategy", "c": ["Colonel Archwood"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "A man's got to have a code. I can only assume there is a female equivalent to that. A 'codette' or something", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "It's just a stupid yam in a stupid jar", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "We're all fully-grown adults failing a kindergarten project.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Boiling water is the icicle stabbing of yam killing", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "This yam isn't boiled. Vicki?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "I boiled the yams. Vicki's yam never sprouted and I didn't want her to fail, so I threw off the grading curve so she wouldn't have to go to summer school and we can finally have sex in my parents' cabin", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "God forgive me, I did it for love!", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "God forgive me, I did it for love!", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "We are definitely dissecting pine cones next year", "c": ["Professor Kane"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Star-Burns got rear-ended and the meth lab in his trunk exploded. He's dead", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Star-Burns got rear-ended and the meth lab in his trunk exploded. He's dead.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Why don't we have bunk bed conversations?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "I think it comes from the word 'bunker'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Oh, it was done about a week ago. Then why are you still here?", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "\u266a Troy and Abed, off to Dreamland \u266a \u266a catching the train to Sleepytown \u266a \u266a and when they wake up \u266a \u266a the Dean'll be here \u266a \u266a staring at you \u266a", "c": ["Troy", "Abed", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "Sweet deans. That's nice... I guess", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Basic Lupine Urology"}, {"t": "if you're watching this, it means I'm dead. Or I'm just showing you. Uh, but I'm probably dead.", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "To my ex-wife Magda, I leave herpes. But she knows that, it's dealt with.", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "As for my collection of Styx albums, I leave that to no one. Because that's who appreciated Styx as much as me.", "c": ["Star-Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "How one-armed was he? Tell me when to stop.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "It was the other arm.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Star-Burns died how he lived... in a meth lab explosion", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "He's in a better place now. - Yeah. The blu-ray shelf.", "c": ["Shirley", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I don't think he knows how ashes work.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "If we rub that, will he come out and do celebrity impressions?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Is it always about the Holocaust with you people?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "by the time I finish this sentence, 100 people will have died in China. Why did you stop talking?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I have to call my pen pal.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "He barely sued me that time I ran over his foot.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I say we honor Star-Burns by discussing him the same amount we did when he was alive.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Pai Mai? It's Troy. Are you okay? Okay, good, I gotta go. This costs $7.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "As a psychologist... Student. I hereby offer my licensed... Unlicensed. Services as a grief counselor. Grief causer.", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "the doctor... Not even close. Is in.", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "You seemed smarter than me when I met you.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "What's heaven like? Uh, I don't know. Glittery.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Have you seen Tim Russert?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "why did you smell exactly like salami?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Where's my comb? I don't know. Yep, it's him.", "c": ["Pierce", "Britta", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Why did you always poop with the stall door open?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Is it true you made out with Britta? I don't see how that's relevant.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "maybe it was because she was really drunk and she had just found out that her first boyfriend was getting married.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Ow! Okay, grief counseling is growing on me.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Come on, I'm Dean and my hands are so clean at this moment I am stapling", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Ben, how's it 'deaning'? Can't 'com-Chang.'", "c": ["Dean", "Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Indefinite detention, pepper spray, involuntary cavity searches... no soft-serve?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Well, I'll tell you how the sausage gets made. It's a lot of ground meat and it gets stuffed into a casing that looks like a cross between a dude's dong and a poop.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I don't know how that helps me, but please leave.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "And now... he's catching fire too.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Britta! Why are you making us feel these things?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Name any other stage. What are you, my final?", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "What are you, my final?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I can do it. Whatever.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Dean-jour, mes amis!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "and you biology class has been can-can-cancelled.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Well, I had a little rockette kick-line thing planned, but...", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Ave Maria! No, thank you.", "c": ["Garrett", "Shirley"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Because his sideburns were shaped like stars. I just got it. I just got that.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Whoo! Closure!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "This fallujah of higher learning... is a prison from which none of us will ever escape.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "was a hero to us the whole time because he did the one thing that none of us ever tried to do. He got out. And then he exploded.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "forces their desiccated husks to attend summer school.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Let's keep it light.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Get some sugar to go with that spice.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Greendale has warped me like a Barbie in a microwave.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Our school flag is an anus!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "You were the guys who drew it.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "And the cherry on top on this total lack of sundae...", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Edison out.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Let's maybe not drop the $50 mics, okay, guys?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "And sold them to Subway.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Worst wake ever.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Yep. Every type we got.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "All hail Chang!", "c": ["Security team"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Let's burn this mother down! Helter skelter!", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I'm gonna take everything but onions and olives.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I know my comb's in here, you son of a bitch!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Look, tiny riot gear. Aww.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "It's not like I'm crying because I was chased by the gang of scary 12-year-olds.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Catchy.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "How about Pierce Hawthorne and the Greendale Six?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "How about the Greendale Five?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "we trashed the school like a TV commercial where the teacher banned skittles.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "we're all Ted Danson at Whoopie Goldberg's roast.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Here we go... oop, you're walking away from the hug.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Got some testimony to get prepared for the school board meeting tomorrowsies.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I regret giving you that unasked for adult back rub when you were asleep that once.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I regret giving you that unasked for adult back rub when you were asleep that once.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, it's me.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, it's me. Ugh! I will...", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "And a lizard... Your Majesty.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I never forget a face or a favorite cookie. And I brought extras, because I know how Richie got into that last basket I brought.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Or are you guys going to trash this building too?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "He was living in the school's air vent system with a monkey!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Hey, guys. Can't stay, gotta run, but, uh, these troublemakers have got to go.", "c": ["Fake Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I was gonna be the first one in my family to graduate from community college. Everyone else graduated from normal college.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I was gonna be the first one in my family to graduate from community college. Everyone else graduated from normal college. Now they're really gonna give me a hard time.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, my life can't get double ruined.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "I'm also the worst. Not gonna argue, but I am gonna forgive you.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "what if it's the darkest?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "That makes this the perfect timeline.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Wait. There are other timelines?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Course Listing Unavailable"}, {"t": "Pierce, all you said was, 'I'm hungry.' / All Henry Ford said was, 'I need a ride.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "It's bagel bites in a deconstructed hot pocket reduction with a doritos glaze.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Did anybody bring anything that isn't poison?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Pack of lifesavers. Sorry. Dead battery.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "See? Cool. Abed brought delicious police.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "This cadet could use a lesson in intergalactic protocol.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "You think a guy becomes a cop because his prom night was a dream?", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Reggie, to the time booth. We haven't much... space.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Note the uneven orange hue and the embossment on the back. What a nifty little piece of americana. You could get 50, 60 bucks for it from the right collector.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "I watch a lot of antiques roadshow.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Anyway, walk to your cars in pairs tonight. Rape's up 8%.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Hello? Rich people, Troy's joining you. Yes, I'll hold.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "He's usually, you know, adorable weird, like mork from ork, but, since we got expelled, he's been creepy weird, like present-day Robin Williams.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "So how long has Abed needed a crazy amount of help?", "c": ["Dr. Heidi"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "I 'Rent Tower Heist' last night, and I won't spoil the ending, but let me tell you, it was quite the hilarious Thrill Ride. That Brett Ratner, he's a master at comedic action-adventure. He's just a master at making movies in general. I'm gonna say it. He's the new Spielberg.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "You're a bad person. You're a bad person.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Time enough at last to eat a sandwich. Though even he knew that this sandwich was nearer his last sandwich than his first.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "He said, oldly, his brittle bones straining to support the weight of his wrinkly skin.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Pierce Hawthorne had nearly lost his grip on reality. Lately, he'd begun to think he was in a novel.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Abed, it's 4:30 in the morning, and you're in my bedroom. / Use that. Okay. And action.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "I mean, he's certainly the craziest one of us, but, you know, we're all kind of crazy-town banana pants.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "How long does peyote last? Just asking for a friend.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Just don't eat anything or drink anything, and no sweating or bending at the elbows, and no chairs with backrests, and if you take it off, wooden hangers only.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Troy, you can't bring that in here. / Yes, I can. It's all-terrain, dummy.", "c": ["Shirley", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Karate championship, second place! Now I'll be unstoppable. Oyay!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Take that back. Our adventures are very manly.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "You mean committed to his character work, right? Because he already is. Abed, show him your Don Draper. / Cigarettes.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "You mean like marriage? / I mean a mental institution. / Ah. So do I.", "c": ["Pierce", "Dr. Heidi", "Pierce"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Will someone please help me lighten the mood?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Please, Mr. Dr. psychiatrist, sir, please don't send my best friend to crazy people jail.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's just unique, like a snowflake who gets bent out of shape when you mix up Star Wars and space treks. / Or a serial killer's signature.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "We had lockers. / We're survivors.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "My name is Pwofussa Wobinswin. Who's weady to wearn?", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Vicki to Queen 3. / Neigh.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Get out. There's one every year. I will not tolerate clowning.", "c": ["Cafeteria Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Slow your bones, Rufus. We got a long road tomorrow.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Welcome... to ladders.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "How are you? / Why do you ask? 3:30. / Uh-oh.", "c": ["Dr. Heidi", "Pierce", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "I just wanted to drop by and tell you we ought to be hot-stepping it out to the parking lot in a brisk, but orderly fashion.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "I wanted you guys to be the first to know before I tell everyone else. I know. It's not right to play favorites, but it is no more right to sit on your feelings, and I don't know what I'd do without you guys.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Darcy, you've got a cold. I feel fine. You're sick. Go home! Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here!", "c": ["Dean", "Darcy", "Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Psst, it's me, the Dean. I pulled the last six pieces of pizza for you.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "\u266a Troy and Jeffrey and Annie and Britta and Shirley and Pierce and Abed and Jeffrey just a few of the most special students in the world \u266a", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "It's not important anymore. I get it now. It just feels forced.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Lame!", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Ah, yes, this fantastical community college where everything that happens is unbelievably ridiculous and it all revolves around you as a group.", "c": ["Dr. Heidi"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "I'm a millionaire, I'm an inventor, I'm a legend, and I had sex with Eartha Kitt.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Should we increase their lithium? / Not yet. I want to see what happens if we confiscate one of their pens.", "c": ["Nurse", "Dr. Heidi"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Mi hambre es bombero tirantes.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "And you shared this delusion with each other, like that time all those people got into swing dance music back in the '90s.", "c": ["Dr. Heidi"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Because, Ms. Edison, Greendale is purgatory, and I am the devil.", "c": ["Dr. Heidi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "I'm a fake psychiatrist, not a fake ethnologist. / He's Arabic. / Also Polish.", "c": ["Dr. Heidi", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Ms. Edison, Greendale is purgatory, and I am the devil.", "c": ["Dr. Heidi"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "What's phase two? / Hey, I'm making up the same plan you are.", "c": ["Assistant", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "Troy, why don't we open up the phone lines? / Talk to us, lonely hearts.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "may your dreams be sweet and your nightmares be 'spooky monster' scary and not 'grandma died' scary.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Curriculum Unavailable"}, {"t": "You brought six.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Well, who else was he gonna bring? Levar Burton was a maybe.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Even from the grave, my father's got you by the short and curly salt and pepperies.", "c": ["Gilbert"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "before that, I was just the teenager who read the Bible to him in the bath. - ew.", "c": ["Gilbert", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "How 'bout that check, soul brother?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Thank you for keeping it as creepy as possible.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Oh, that diabolical old fossil face.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Lavar Burton was a maybe.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "So a 100-year-old man designed a 30-year-old video game?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "I didn't bring my likeness.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Cool, cool, cool.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Which one is me? I assume nothing because I'm not racist.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Why did this thing take photos if it was going to completely fabricate random body shapes?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "That's what I'm saying! My hair looks good, though.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Peace. Love. - What's that? - I think it's a hippie.", "c": ["NPC", "Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Annie, stop 'Awing' everything.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Sex. - Did he say 'Sex'? - Drugs. Sex.", "c": ["NPC", "Unknown", "NPC"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Jeff, you just murdered Annie.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Well, better than doing nothing!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "I'm not sure that's the case. - that's debatable.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "the way you helped Annie? - Sex.", "c": ["Unknown", "NPC"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "What? - Group sex.", "c": ["Unknown", "NPC"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "This game makes no sense.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "I don't want to talk about it.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "So I'm supposed to just guess that?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "'hang back and study their tactics'?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "He's got a point.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "whatever cabal of fruits, junkies, and sluts you call your friends.", "c": ["Cornelius (voice)"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Her name is Britta.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Worst son ever!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "And there wouldn't be a lot of sport in beating you. Look at yourself.", "c": ["Jeff", "Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Why is Harry Belafonte in here?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "is he being ominous? Why are you being ominous?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Because when you're friends with someone for three years, it's weird to steal their family's money.", "c": ["Study group member"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Hey, look, Buddy, I know it must have sucked being Colonel Sanders' manservant and all", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Let's get that jag! - Yeah! - Get him! - Kick that hippie's ass!", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "after you've squandered the last of your savings, I'll watch you writhe, penniless, in the gutter, through a telescope in the penthouse office of Hawthorne tower.", "c": ["Gilbert (note)"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "you can leave notes. This game is incredible.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "I guess there's no hug button.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Yeah, I used to love dying, but that speech really turned me around.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "And most importantly, while he's fighting for greed, we're fighting for friendship, which means we can't lose, okay?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "I'll check it out. I owe Jeff that. I wasn't gonna say it. - Lesbian.", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "I'm picking up on some hidden symbolism. right, 'White Crystal.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "You think dad was into meth?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Man, why can't my mom be here? She always said my video game Knowledge would come in handy. I never believed her.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "ooh. Well, what's free? Can we have a torch? - Thief! Thief!", "c": ["Unknown", "Annie", "NPC"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "He was suffering! Yeah, from axe wounds!", "c": ["Shirley", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Well, if this isn't worth any points, what is? You're asking me? I'm still looking for a pong paddle.", "c": ["Study group member"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Stop playing like a girl? Here's the thing about women, Jeff. We don't Hack and slash our way through life because we're one with life.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "We can't get hung up on Real world morality. We need to survive and win.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "No witnesses! Grab everything you can carry. I'll check upstairs for any more family.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "This is so cool.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Pierce taught me poker. I'm not good at it.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "I've never felt this way before. - Abed, don't get weird.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Yeah, she only has three moves that you activate with basic patterns of stimulus.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "This place is 20 cat turds and a pixies poster from being your apartment.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "She'll be forced to marry a male villager or take her chances in the wilderness.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Damn it, I thought we could count on Britta to not screw up drinking.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Here's hoping we can count on her to screw up making potions.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Jeff bet all our lives on Britta and won, and I lost my pants to a pair of nines.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "People have said similar things about me.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Uh-Oh. He's playing the rain man card.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Offensive. Called it. Shut up, Britta.", "c": ["Britta", "Unknown", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "I know, I don't know what's more offensive-- The actual racism or the insulting notion that it might somehow rub off on us.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "I've earned it by having friends.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "What the hell, Gilbert? You're cheating, which I have no problem with, but you're getting caught, and that's not cool!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "You're half...white. - Nice save.", "c": ["Pierce", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Do you remember your childhood nanny, Etta? Well, Etta had a hot cousin. My mother.", "c": ["Gilbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "We've died and been reborn, and that makes us heroes.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "She can make babies for me. Oh, and I can't? I can't.", "c": ["Abed", "Unknown", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Baby abed has my eyes and her bonnet.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "You are the bastard offspring of a colored seductress and an unknown, weak-Willed miscegenist...", "c": ["Cornelius (AI)"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Baby abeds: Cool cool cool! Cool Cool cool! Cool Cool cool!", "c": ["Baby Abeds"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Troy and abed shooting lava", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Because I am a man of honor. So you've earned the pleasure of my death.", "c": ["Cornelius (AI)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "He once sat on me in church just so he could see better.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Are you always carrying that? Not in the shower.", "c": ["Unknown", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "I have an uncle who makes his own pizza.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "a Margarita, in fact, and it's served in a glass an entire yard long.", "c": ["Gilbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "Hey, Hey, settle a bet. The word 'Mulatto,' is it okay or just borderline?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "While you're off, climbing the ladder at beans and more, I'll just stay home and raise him alone. That's fine. I'll just give up on my dreams.", "c": ["Hilda"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "They're actually called glorbons.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Digital Estate Planning"}, {"t": "deanel-ganger", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "doppel-deaner", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "\u266a Love is not admissible evidence \u266a", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "I'm working on a cop opera. Cop-ra! Police-ical!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Wait, cop-ra!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "It's a prescription throne. I have back mumps. Don't look it up. It's rare.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Fire the custodial staff. Okay. Cool.", "c": ["Chang", "Unknown aide"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "They're like... Telephones for your eyes.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "What kind of monster would... Photo booth with props!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Jeffrey. Looks like PB and J again.", "c": ["AC Repair guy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "a 4'10\", 105-pound bucket of piss and zit cream. I cannot express to you how much I hate this kid.", "c": ["AC Repair guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "beyond that dog sneeze in a pair of reeboks", "c": ["AC Repair guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Not a lot of people get a second chance. Just you and probably Obama.", "c": ["AC Repair guy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Do you know how long someone as sarcastic as I am would last in prison? Such a long time.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Everyone except Pierce has to plan an elaborate heist.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Shower organizer? Are you guys psychic?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "I won't have them ruining my 25th birthday.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "You had time to build a tiny working water fountain, and I'm a pinecone?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "This girl in Chicago won't stop facebooking me. Looks like j-swag's going deep dish.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Sounds like you schnooks got a flood the size of my wife's attitude problem.", "c": ["Unknown character in plumber disguise"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Boys are pathetic. Two days of facebooking with this Joshua kid and he's eating out of my hands.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "You people gotta start chewin' your food. ... Like my wife's mouth.", "c": ["Unknown character in plumber disguise"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Got a new flavor of lip balm. Meet me at Chili's in ten minutes.\" Sheep.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "\"A,\" that is racist. \"B,\" swamis can't drive... they're Indians.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "I'll kill anyone who raises their hand.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Well, everybody else got to say it.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Is this your card? Huh? I don't remember.", "c": ["Ricky Nightshade", "Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "No, not knowing this Pierce. I... I am a mystical swami. I come to boogie down, I'm boogying down.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Negative, the pixie has left the toadstool.", "c": ["Nathan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Hey, Johnny Passerby, this job's getting bigger than my wife's credit card bill at Marshalls. I mean, they got great stuff, I know that.", "c": ["Unknown character in plumber disguise"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Oof baboof, I spilled plumber's acid all over yous.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Sar-cas-tic claps.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "You think you caught us, but we've already made it out with the real Dean. Ocean's eleven, baby. Pierce, I'm the real Dean.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Pierce", "Dean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Getting caught the first time was part of the plan. This time is because we suck.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Shirley, where the hell did you come from?", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Fire can't go through doors, stupid. It's not a ghost.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "As many of you know, I ate my twin sister in utero. So on my birthday, I try to remember I'm a winner.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "This one's for you, Connie. And a-one, a-two, a Chang, Chang, Chang-four.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "They call it \"academania.\" It's mostly hard house, some... some dubstep, but totally...", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "You weigh nothing! - I can't see them. They're too many of them. - Oof. - Baboof.", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "It is hard out there for a fake Moby!", "c": ["Fake Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Carl, Richie, let me ex-Chang.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "I'm not getting paid, am I?", "c": ["Fake Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Well, I have a drinking problem.", "c": ["Richie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "I do it for Greendale. Aw.", "c": ["Dean", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Never wear a rubber.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Never listen to Pierce.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "Never listen to Pierce.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "This is a lock of my hair. Creepy.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Another character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "He said, \"I know you hate when people do this in movies.\"", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The First Chang Dynasty"}, {"t": "I miss Troy. Wrong, and stop guessing that.", "c": ["Unknown Student", "Unknown Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Sorry, not 'play.' 'Render imaginated dreamscapes.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Did someone say 'sexy construction worker'?", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I'm dressed like this because I'm building to big news.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "But there's only one dotted line on the form, so... / Me. / Hey!", "c": ["Shirley", "Pierce", "Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "What's the worst that could happen? Classic tee-up.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Shut up, Leonard, I know about your crooked wang.", "c": ["Jeff", "Leonard"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "This can't be good.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "We boring you? I miss my friends.", "c": ["AC Teacher", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Troy, there is a prophesy. I miss Abed so much.", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Troy, there is a prophesy. / I miss Abed so much.", "c": ["Vice Dean Laybourne", "Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Troy, there is a prophesy. / I miss Abed so much.", "c": ["Vice Dean", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "It's a trade school. It's a two-year degree in boxes that make rooms cold.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I'm reading the novelization of Chronicles of Riddick. Can you honestly tell me that's a saner decision?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "When the world gets bad enough, Abed, the good go crazy. But the smart... They go bad.", "c": ["Evil Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Hard to break the word 'yes' into lilting syllables, huh? Ye-es?", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "My biology final is at 5:00. / I'm available from 3:00 to 4:00. / I'll see you in court.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I was born in a courtroom, sued it for my own placenta, and won.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "A-ha! Crazy? Paranoid? Impotent? / Cellular... / I knew you'd run to Jeff, and turn him against me. / Mitosis.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff", "Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "May his breeze join the wind.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Is that the cold-blooded former colleague that got you fired from your old law firm by ratting on you to the state bar? Tee.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Hawthorne's a cash cow, and old a-con here is tugging at that teat. That's money. Money. Please stop that.", "c": ["Alan", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Hey, just go easy on Shirley. / Scout's honor, Sinead O'Connor.", "c": ["Jeff", "Alan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Judging Amy or Judge Judy?", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "You might call it the Britta of timelines, where everything is the worst.", "c": ["Evil Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Tell me about your parents, Britta. Um... No?", "c": ["Evil Abed", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Would you think less of Shirley Bennett if she offered to sell Ben on craigslist for a chance to bump it with Denzel? That was a joke for my cousin.", "c": ["Alan", "Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I thought you said you were gonna go easy. / Felt easy to me.", "c": ["Jeff", "Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "You're average, Britta Perry. You're every kid on the playground that didn't get picked on. You're a business casual potted plant, a human white sale. You're VH1, Robocop 2, and Back to the Future 3. You're the center slice of a square cheese pizza.", "c": ["Evil Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Actually, that sounds delicious. I'm the center slice of a square cheese pizza.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "You're Jim Belushi. Ah. 12%", "c": ["Evil Abed", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "You're a business casual potted plant, a human white sale. You're VH1, Robocop 2, and Back to the Future 3.", "c": ["Evil Abed"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Does anybody know any funny jokes? I do. An Irish and a Jew walk into a Chinese laundry... With a gay duck.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "All right, okay! Oh, right! So you're telling me they're not good at basketball?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "In the name of the five winds... East, West, North, the one we keep secret, and South", "c": ["AC School Leader"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "And I have the right to challenge him... In the sun chamber. Holy crap.", "c": ["Troy", "Everyone"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "And we use this room for yoga on weekends.", "c": ["AC Repair Student"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Miss Daisy's in the house, thanks for the ride, sorry about slavery.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "That shark thing was not a metaphor. I'm the big dog now.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "You can if you're dead. That shark thing was not a metaphor.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Blind Justice presiding... aah! Oh, my God! Ahh! Oh, one more recess. I hit the corner right on a fresh tattoo.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Jeez, Dennis, are you on coke? Take that crap off and sit down.", "c": ["AC School Leader"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Evil Abed, what are you doing? I'm going to cut off Jeff Winger's arm. I won't let you. That's horrible. Don't you mean dark? Welcome to my world.", "c": ["Abed", "Evil Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Have you been watching Dance Moms again?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Your honor... I have no closing statement, because I'm throwing the case.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I have no closing statement, because I'm throwing the case.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Helping only ourselves is bad, and helping each other is good.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Why didn't you just do some inspirational speech about friendship? You're fired.", "c": ["Pierce", "Alan"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "By the way, never got a chance to tell you this, but it was me who turned you in to the state bar. I know. And I never got a chance to thank you.", "c": ["Alan", "Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "This place has made you so gay. Hey! Don't use 'gay' as a derogatory term. Booyah, good person.", "c": ["Alan", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, take this man to the infinite labyrinth of eternal ice. Yes! No! No, take him to the police. He murdered someone. Take him to jail. You guys are weird.", "c": ["AC School Leader", "Troy", "Everyone"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Jeff, that was great. You were like a white Blair Underwood.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "My God, Pierce! You had your first good idea.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Yeah, I made a new rule that the air conditioning repair school has to act like a regular school. I can do that because I'm their messiah.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Cool. I went crazy and I wanted to cut off Jeff's arm. I missed you so much, buddy.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "You're the only kind of shrink I could ever trust. The kind with as little control over my mind as me.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Hello, everybody. I'm Leonard. And I'm here today to review Let's Potato Chips. $1.79 at Kroger's.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "That one's shaped like a duck. Well, I guess that's definitely a buy.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Oh, there's 12 additional thumb tacks on that board. They're driving me crazy.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "It's cool, but also not.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "A little late to the hipster party much? A little much on the much much?", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Damn Mexican cleaning woman did a cha-cha on my glasses", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "I started out with a babbling brook, but then I layered in elements from our world. I'm sure fans of the babbling brook will complain, but I thought that was limiting.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Here's the deal, Jessica Biel.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "\u266a This is my show, it's about me and all my friends on Abed TV \u266a", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Abed's Happy Community College show is filmed before a live audience inside of my head.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "I've decided I'm going to do senioritis this year. You know, just hangin' out and blowin' off classes, pullin' pranks, not sayin' my 'G's.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Last year, Troy wished we got Bin Laden and the Dorito Taco. Yeah, but Obama got credit for both.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Oh, just like real ice cream.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "I mean, it's progressed, but it hasn't progressed-progressed. It's progressive.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "I've been pissing in jars for an hour trying to keep this seat.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "This can't be good. He's dressed as himself.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Someone hacked into the supply closet and counterfeited these 'History of Ice Cream' admission cards.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "The Hunger Deans!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "And these are impossible to counterfeit because each one has been marked by my distinct bite print.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Well, graduating after 30 can't be characterized as early.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "F-i-n-e or f-y-n-e? We made one of 'em a code for 'not fine.'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Like an ice cream cone melting in the sun, our time here can't last forever.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "That was part of the speech I was writing!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Close. I am America's sexiest aviator, Leo DiCaprio.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Yeah, Amelia Earhart would have been faster.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "As you know, our student records are stored on a Microsoft Paint file, which I was assured was future-proof.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, our extended warranty is not being honored by the restaurant that used to be Circuit City.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "In-Dean, I am.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be here forever. Forever. Forever. Forever.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "You? You're pre-med! I want ice cream.", "c": ["Jeff", "Competitor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Hey, did you know you could major in Antics? I checked. You need a tomfoolery pre-req, but they waive it for women.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "He's gonna come in here later and have the creepy feeling someone was in here.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Let's move everything on his desk over an inch except his stapler. Then he'll think we moved his stapler.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, there's so many levels to this.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "That sounds messy! (excited)", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Heels. Oh, you got skills.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Oh, no, it's cool. It's Leonard's.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "The first wish is always for 1,000 wishes.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "No wishes containing the word 'all.' Guaranteed ironic consequences.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Star Wars, Thumb Wars, wow, Storage Wars!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "You can't flip a wish. That's ridiculous. Your rules are ridiculous.", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Unwish! Ununwish. Rewish.", "c": ["Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Ah, great! My 'G's are back.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Can't wait to be buried alive under a pile of paperwork and bed pans, just trying to summon the courage to ask out Dr. Patel, the gorgeous Indian neurosurgeon who doesn't even know I exist.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "This isn't a conversation, is it?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! The sad, slow march toward death begins. Senioritis!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "A big man. A huge, throbbing, sweaty... Dean, I just want to get my history credit and get out of here.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "I choose... The Dean.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "The fountain works.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "That's your penis.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "\u266a Greendale babies, we're happy and we're free \u266a", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Gay balls! Nailed it.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.59, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Do you realize who you told that to?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "God, I hate new Jeff.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Even if we go somewhere, we're not going anywhere.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "I literally just walked up. I know. I made the speech for you.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "When they were incepting, I got their balls.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "You smell like the floor of a movie theater. Yeah, but not for the usual reasons.", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Now we'll be like almost roomies.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Get ready to run. In these heels?", "c": ["Troy", "Britta"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "They're fabulous. They're charming.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Okay, I know a man when I see one.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "History 101"}, {"t": "Happy Halloween parties, everyone. You all look great... ham.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Pig. Let me guess. You're a flimsy excuse to be shirtless, wearing silk underwear.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "And you are as wrong as you are welcome.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Annie, no. I meant the boxing match ring girl. They're the sexy ones that hold the round numbers.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "This is why we can't just text about it, Jeff. I don't watch sports.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Pretty freaky-deaky, huh?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "You should probably warn your boyfriend's boyfriend.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "We do some things. We do a lot of things. Not all the things. Things.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "She put a pencil through his face.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "You're not watching TV. - No, I'll be watching Annie. She started watching Cougar town re-runs, which makes Annie my third favorite show", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Ooh, that's right. Better not miss the Merlot. Clink! What? You fall into it.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "got killed by Jeff.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Heads, lock up your brains. Britta's on the prowl for fresh therapy meat.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "He is a geriatric toddler, throwing the most elaborate tantrums money can buy", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Ding, ding, ding! To your corners, fighters. Someone save me a towel.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Hello, Dr. Perry's Office. Damaged psyche? Yes, I'll accept the charges.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "It's like David Lee Roth threw up Miami Vice.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Maybe Pierce isn't doing so well since he lost his father and then his inheritance in a video game battle with Gilbert, an illegitimate half-Brother he never knew he had. I guess I've never said it out loud.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "June 30, 1989. Theatrical release of do the right thing.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Oh, put a sock in it, shorts.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "don't be. I've been locked in way worse places than this. Oh, not against my will.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "This place has not been dusted in months, and he starts with the panic room? No sale. He's not a sad old man. He's a sad old liar.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "I had to come up with that awesome dusting story", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "aha! I mean, not, aha, your dad is dead, But, aha, I knew it. Ghost dad, exploring your haunted mansion for secret codes?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "What in the Scooby-Doo is happening to you people?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "I'm sure as stuff not your sexy little ring girl.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Can it, ham. She's also my ride.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "I didn't leave my short-term memory at Coachella.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "what's weird is that a living person lived here with his parents, well into his 60s. Then they died, and he's still here, like a paralyzed Peter Pan.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "It's like practicing on a cadaver. Knock yourself out.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Tubular.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "I, too, lack the adjectives.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "how does one search for a red notebook that doesn't exist without looking, touching, or creating future nightmares?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Pierce keeps his dad's bowtie by his bed. Yeesh. Table for siggy Freud, party of--", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Don't. That's not nice. - What? He was a tight-Fisted, philandering bigot who got to outlive most Bridges.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "How about we ask rip Van racism where the codes are?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Oh! Analyze this!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Pierce Hawthorne's ideas for ladies? Oh, please. Blonde, long legs, with tennis racquet. Asian rockette. Big boobs, redhead, but doctor, question mark. Oh, he's not 100% on that one?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "I hate reference humor.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "It's Pierce's special gym. He never let me use it, 'cause he thinks I'm a child. He's hiding the indoor swing, and I'm the child.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Forget you saw that, and then forget I knew what it was.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "pressured to what? - To fulfill her expectations. Expectations of what? Never mind. - Unsatisfied with what?", "c": ["Troy", "Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Oh, well, that's hallo-Wine in cougar town for ya. Oh, ladies, I'll follow you anywhere.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "I remember when this show was about a community college.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "cool. cool, cool, cool.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Here's to you, Cornelius. Gone, But not forgiven.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "I totally had you guys convinced I was dead. That'll teach you to value my presence.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "'cause I hate her.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Ghosts can't go through doors, stupid. They're not fire.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Uh-Uh. Levar Burton was a hard no.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "Tell Vicki I say happy Halloween. That'll mess with her.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "After a night of running in circles, trying to untie Winger knots, I'm looking for something slow.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Paranormal Parentage"}, {"t": "But it will probably be London during the Blitz.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Do we want him to freak out and then we have to rescue him from some fantasy world where submarines are small enough to enter the bloodstream?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I totally want to do that.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I haven't seen you in over 12 hours.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I know you two are having sex. I've known for weeks.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I love doughnuts.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "For an Inspector Spacetime convention, I would need a bag to put over my head.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Why can't I go to a Captain Warptime Convention?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "You know, in Ancient Greece, it was considered an honor to invite a person my age to a space convention?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Wait, was there a female inspector? Yes. And everyone hates her. Not because they're sexist. Because she sucks.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "You're on your own, Al Capone.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Because they've never seen a man who's had sex before?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "You bear a striking resemblance to Inspector Spacetime's Supervillain Thoraxis.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "This is the first time I've stayed in a hotel without a number in its name.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I will enjoy the... Jeff won. I know.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I sent him 700 pounds and a plane ticket, so he should be here.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "You wouldn't believe how many people I emailed asking for help, and they completely ignored me.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "She's such a... Both: Minerva.", "c": ["Toby", "Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "What a bitch. Wait, was that the female inspector?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Now, remember, we're just a couple of Captain Warphead fans. Nobody will even notice we're here.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Will you come with us? Where? Why? When?", "c": ["Shirley", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "My husband doesn't do carbs. But he would like a scotch.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "The good kind.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I don't think I like your -ist.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "That dude is trying to steal your boyfriend.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "What if they get hit by a car or fall down a well?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "How many clipboards you got? Raise the klaxon. Me lorry's plunging it into the Thames, methinks.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Bow before Thoraxis.", "c": ["Convention attendees"], "jt": ["running_gag", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "It's Troy! You know it's Troy! Okay, it's the first part of Troy and Abed.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Toby and Abed in the Morning? That's ridiculous. I'm not psycho!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "In England, Cadbury creme eggs are sold year-round. I thought that was just a legend.", "c": ["Toby", "Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "It's for my husband. He really needs the diffuser for his hair. It sounds shallow, but he's a lawyer.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Hey, instead of this constable, what about a blonde with long legs and a tennis racket?", "c": ["Focus group moderator"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Wait, Nigel is married? That is so Thoraxis.", "c": ["Convention attendee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go upstairs, towel off, and pray to God that I wake up in the middle of a final for a class I didn't know I was enrolled in.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "A quantum spanner. Yeah, it lights up or plays music or something.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "David doesn't actually exist, does he? You're mad. Nothing you've said can prove that. Except that when we met you said his name was Andrew. Bollocks.", "c": ["Troy", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "But maybe there's a reason the Inspector always chooses a human companion. He's an alien, but his human friends keep him grounded and invested in the world, like with me and Troy.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Would you love me if I got you a churro?", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Because I have. Oh, my God. He can make a fist. That would hurt harder than a slap.", "c": ["Troy", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "You know, for the first time in my long history of being locked inside things, I knew someone would come.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I saw actual hair that looked a lot like mine on my side of the sink, so I have some questions. First one, is that actually my hair, and, if so, did it fall out naturally? Because if it did, you need to tell me right now, 'cause I have to call science.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I've married you at least a half a dozen times. And Troy. And Zac Efron. Mostly Zac Efron.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "If we were married, you wouldn't find me flirting with another woman in a hotel bar.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Oh, God, don't make me order that.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "Bow before Thoraxis.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "See, this is why I don't hang with you folks on the weekends.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "And now I must sleep with the sexiest woman here, who is also my grandmother, or I will cease to exist.", "c": ["Jeff as Inspector Spacetime"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I hate you.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Conventions of Space and Time"}, {"t": "I hear the final is a sundae bar.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "I don't get history. If I wanted to know what happened in Europe a long time ago, I'd watch Game of Thrones.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Troy, that show takes place in a fantasy realm. This class is about the real world. - [Gasps] - Not the show. You need to think before you speak.", "c": ["Unknown", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "He's British, and he has a degree.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "I can't have a hard-buns teacher.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Quick impression. 'Wah.' Who am I? You guys. Ha! Dead on.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "We might actually learn so...n of a bitch! Germans: [Imitating techno tune]", "c": ["Unknown", "Germans"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "I thought they transferred after they lost their foosball scholarship.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "I heard they were juicing.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "No, them leaving would mean Greendale got slightly better, which, as we know, does not happen.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "If there is one thing Germans don't do, it's hold a grudge. Unless we're talking about Die Hard 3. Or the 20th century.", "c": ["Reinhold"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "I know what you're all thinking, and the answer is... Yes. I am a direct descendant of general Sir Charles Cornwallis, who surrendered the British forces at Yorktown. Was anyone thinking that? Students: No.", "c": ["Professor Cornwallis", "Students"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "According to Oxford University, it means that my 20 years' loyal service there means nothing next to a little slipup with a co-ed.", "c": ["Professor Cornwallis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "I'm confused. When do we get our ice cream?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "[Ominous music] [Laughing evilly] I was recalling a very funny episode of the German version of The Nanny. 'Franlein' gets a... It wouldn't translate.", "c": ["Germans"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "And I still have those pants. True story.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "[High-pitched scream] Sorry. I should've realized that might be startling.", "c": ["Dr. Ken Kedan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "'Hello, my name is Kevin. I have Changnesia'? What is that?", "c": ["Dr. Ken Kedan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "No, he's always Dean that.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "I can't have an unbalanced nut job traipsing around on my campus! Put that on the rack. Put that in the fridge. Get him out of here!", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "[High-pitched wail] I just felt a strange disturbance. Did you have dairy this morning? Could be that. Or it could be that great evil is nearby.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Why must he hurt so with his vords? He's like a less funny Hans Rickles.", "c": ["German student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Someone must have changed the channel to USA, 'cause I just watched a burn notice.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Because that's called appeasement. And everyone knows if you give the Germans something small, like the study room or Austria, they end up wanting something big, like Earth.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "If there were more people in the world like Annie, we'd all be speaking vietnamese right now. - [Gasps in shock] - That was my war. I had flashbacks for years. Pierce, you moved to Canada.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie", "Pierce", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Those people call ham 'bacon'.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "So today, ve study in here. Unt tonight, we dine in hell. [Imitating techno beat]", "c": ["German students"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Doktor Blitz, knight of the Atlantis Guild, wielder of the four-pronged trident on SpawnCraft? How did you know? I recognized your catchphrase, 'Tonight we dine in hell!' I'm SpaceTimer8032.", "c": ["Abed", "Karl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "That man saved my life. In a video game.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Oh, now he has me saying it. Amdeansia. Amdeansia... I'm all turned around.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Hey, apropos of nothing, what's that sound you make when you see something shocking? - [Gasps in shock] - Oh, yeah, that's it.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "I am afraid it is you who must do the making like a tree, which is to say, leaving.", "c": ["German student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "You're asking for our papers? I thought this was America, not Arizona.", "c": ["German student"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "It would appear that in this battle, our bulge was a little bit bigger. [Chuckles] Guten bye-bye.", "c": ["German student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "It's like a Darren Aronofsky film.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "All: [Screaming] Agh! Everybody grab me, please! Ugh! - Nobody grab him. - [Screaming] Pierce, just let go. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Of the thing, Pierce.", "c": ["Pierce", "Group"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "[Air hissing] Oh, no. - Oh! - Ugh! [Somber music] [Maniacal laughter]", "c": ["Group", "Germans"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "If that's true, then Chang, who is me, deserves to go to jail.", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "And that failed ventriloquist's name was Slobodan Milosevic.", "c": ["Professor Cornwallis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Guten luck on the examination. Ve vill be preparing for it in study room 'F', as in 'Fictory'.", "c": ["German student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "I like the way your old chair cradles mein knaidels. [Laughter] I just made that up. You know, English is my second language.", "c": ["German student"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Many years ago, before the concept of 'too soon' existed, there was a show about a bunch of goofy Nazis running a prison camp, and that show was called... - Hogan's Heroes? - Hogan's Heroes. - Yes.", "c": ["Pierce", "Others"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "And while, for a latchkey kid with no jewish friends, it was a bit desensitizing, it still taught me that the lovable misfits always win. And the bumbling Germans always lose.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "You had me at 'ruse.' That was the last thing I said. Good thing you said it.", "c": ["Unknown", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "[Whispers] It's been banned by the FDA.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "That blutwurst was probably injected with a laxative to make us pull a grete waitz in our trousers.", "c": ["German student"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "I promise you, there's nothing gross in this sausage. It's just pig's blood stuffed into a cow's intestine.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Just take that large cake back to the study room and enjoy it there. So there's nothing hiding inside this giant German chocolate cake? Ask Abed. You can trust him. He's a friend. Nope. Just solid cake.", "c": ["Unknown", "German", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Should I release the tear gas, or has that ship sank?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "But you were the only German students celebrating German culture, and here at Greendale, that is a big, fat no-no. We frown on anyone celebrating their own cultural heritage. I mean, if the hasidic student union wants to host a Kwanzaa celebration, you go, Jews! Hanukkah? No, sir.", "c": ["Security/Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "As they say in Ferris Bueller, danke schoen. And as they say in the movie, gotcha! Gotcha.", "c": ["Germans", "Study Group"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "This whole time, we thought the Germans were the Germans. But it turns out, we're the Germans.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "You are wearing an S.S. t-shirt. - Oh. - Oh! - Oh! - Oh.", "c": ["Leonard", "Others"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Hate to say it, but this is what happens when a group of people blindly follows a charismatic, golden-throated leader. Are you actually comparing me to Hitler? [Overlapping agreements] There are similarities.", "c": ["Shirley", "Jeff", "Group"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Nobody's even willing to consider that I might be the Hitler of this group?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Why don't you call it a 'quadrident'?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "You clever British bastard. You set this whole thing up to teach us a lesson. Making the school pretend to hate us, to show us that one man's hero is another man's villain.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Are you actually suggesting that a Professor at Greendale would set up an elaborate ruse just to teach seven students a lesson? - Uh, yes. - Yeah. - Yes. - That's a Wednesday.", "c": ["Professor Cornwallis", "Group"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "- I really am Hitler. - Yeah. So it's just decided. No vote or anything. I hate this.", "c": ["Jeff", "Unknown", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Remember that people can 'Chang'. People can what? Hmm?", "c": ["Dean Pelton", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Is it inside? Is it outside? You find out. We challenge you to taste the bread. This coupon is a $5 bill.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed", "Karl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Alternative History of the German Invasion"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, you get to say that, but we're stuck calling it 'Jew Friday.'", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "'Are those real?' My aunt's boyfriend.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Oh, my family's a normal religion, so I have to talk to them for five minutes before I get a casserole that's all marshmallow.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "I was going to microwave buttered noodles, but this sounds equally promising.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "How-Dean, pilgrims.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Is that... John Wayne, yes. Oh, good, you got it.", "c": ["Dean", "Study Group"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "There may be a statistical link to enrollment at Greendale and holiday suicide.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Just a shoelace... and belt-free night full of fun.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "How am I supposed to keep track of what you tell me in confidence and what I hear through your walls with a glass to my ear?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Jeff's at a point in his life where he needs a strong father figure to come out to.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "When I say 'thera,' you say 'pist.' Thera... pist. Thera...", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "The only thing that's going to get messy and emotional is Troy, when he realizes there are yams underneath those marshmallows.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "I knew it was too good to be true.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Chairs might be thrown. Weaves might be pulled.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "These walls are entirely too thick.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Let's carve that jive turkey!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Got that out of your system? Yeah.", "c": ["Troy", "Shirley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Browse the available literature about Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Or not. No agenda.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Are you going to pass some apps soon, or do I have to die of starvation to prove a point?", "c": ["Pierce's Father-in-law"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Oh, it's been in the fridge for two years. I was saving it for a special occasion.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "I'm going to put this on a nice platter with some crackers in the trash.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Your dad's house, where I kind of, sort of, am.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Batman is sort of gay.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "You ask one lady if she's Tyler Perry in drag, and suddenly, you're the bad guy.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "It's a reference. That's my humor. Abed gets it.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "This is the Jonestown of dinners.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm in jail. And you know what happens to guys like me in jail. They get really into push-ups, and I am fine with my upper body the way it is!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "It did feel like a prison, and that meant only one thing made sense, conceptually. We had to break out. And someone with the gravitas of Morgan Freeman had to narrate it.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "You really 'you'd' this one, huh?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "I just want to acknowledge that there are a lot of emotions flowing right now, and you two are probably feeling a strong impulse to sleep with each other, and hey, that's normal.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "You said he wasn't going to replace me. He's the Schwarzenegger. I'm the DeVito. I get it.", "c": ["Willy Junior"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Definitely don't look behind that poster, then.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "What if I did a gibberish foreign language like Star Wars? You'd like that, I bet. Dick.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Do you have your monthly shame?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "I'd like to tell you Annie avoided Shirley's doctor sister-in-law, but this ain't no fairy tale. This is Thanksgiving.", "c": ["Abed (narrating)"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "The presence of it, I mean.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Why don't we use these dinner rolls to do some 'roll' play? I see what I did there.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "I'm a lawyer who faked a bachelor's degree and practiced law for seven years before I got caught.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "I like your hustle. Reminds me of the summer I was Ralph Lauren out in St. Tropez.", "c": ["William"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "but you just got stuck.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "He keeps saying he's going to move out next week, since '03.", "c": ["William"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "listening to a nephew do Borat for a full hour.", "c": ["Abed (narrating)"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "had to do a Jewish thing in the other room.", "c": ["Abed (narrating)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Amateur hour is over. I'm going in there, pretend to break a hip, and we'll be sipping Sambuca at Skeepers in no time.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "This is my showtime at the Apollo. I'm killing out there.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Not fake sick. Real sick.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Uh, the universe is a constantly expanding... stop.", "c": ["William", "Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "made you strong. With all due respect, which is none, go to hell.", "c": ["William", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Why did I have to go third?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Sometimes the person you thought was your warden turns out to be a fellow prisoner, which doesn't really line up with the whole Shawshank thing, but maybe we've always been doing more of a Prison Break. The show.", "c": ["Abed (narrating)"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Teach me what you know. What in the cat's cradle is happening?", "c": ["Willy Junior", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "How to be all dead inside with muscles on top, not all emotional and flabby.", "c": ["Willy Junior"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Britta's the worst.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "I drew a map of your house on my stomach.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "we can get through this plan, which is to put you in the trash can, take you out like trash, but we got to dress you like a baby.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "You came back!", "c": ["Willy Junior"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "One time, when I was in seventh grade, I told everybody at school that I had appendicitis. I wanted someone to worry about me. But when Beth Brannon asked to see the scar, I didn't want to get found out, so I took mom's scissors, and I made one.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Because I got 17 cards, and I still keep them in a box underneath my bed 22 years later because it proves that someone, at some point, cared about me.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 9.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Kind of a Hail Mary.", "c": ["William"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Look, you're probably feeling a very strong urge to sleep with me right now, and that is normal.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "And then Pierce did whiteface over blackface. No one was amused.", "c": ["Abed (narrating)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "It's meta. Abed gets it.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "Maybe the hardest prisons to break out of are the ones without locks. Wait, that doesn't make any sense.", "c": ["Abed (narrating)"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "I hope it's in a restaurant.", "c": ["Abed (narrating)"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"}, {"t": "My name is Kevin, or so they tell me.", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "But by using a special, shiny glass called a mirror, I've estimated that I'm 15 years old, although I have no way of knowing.", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "why Changnesia affects the memory but not the ability to make forced puns...", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Then he became a disgraced student, psychopathic music major, homeless vent dweller, security guard, keytarist, power hungry warlord, and now, Kevin.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I'm developing a theory which some find controversial. Perhaps Chang actually used to be Kevin, went crazy, and became Chang. And then, at some point, Chang hit his head, went un-crazy, thereby reverting back to regular old Kevin again.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "That makes no sense. Science tells us hitting his head would only cure him if hitting his head was the original cause.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "so we can continue to fight this terrible disease and hopefully, one day, pay for this documentary.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "How was that, Abed? That's too beggy? No, that was great. But I could use a new camera, with a smoother zoom.", "c": ["Dean Pelton", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "You gotta be fucking kidding me.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, we should have sprung for the name brand glitter.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "The history of ice cream class had another heart attack. Three more, and we're all in.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "He kept the dean in a dungeon. He tried to kill us. He ate his twin in utero.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Whoa. This makes things smaller. No, no... Bigger. Oh, bigger.", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Well, enjoy your collective delusion. I'm going to go get a sandwich, which, unlike Changnesia, is real.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Welcome to Shirley's sandwiches, where the food is Kevin-ly.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Hi, not calling you Kevin.", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Like how I gave Andre a second chance. It doesn't mean I forgot. I just forgave.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "What Shirley said really made me think. I mean, all my friends believe this guy. What does it say about me that I don't?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "What does it say? It says I have gullible friends who will believe anybody, and I need to make that anybody me. By exposing Chang in front of the whole school.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Much like the classic documentary Capturing the Friedmans, my story just took a completely unexpected turn.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Jeff, if you want this done right, I'm going to need a steadicam for Garrett.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I've got a blackface senor Wences bit I've been workshopping.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I'm going to call you 'Houlihan.' 'Partner' and 'Houlihan.'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "In an investigation, one dude always has to go opposite the other dude. That's how they get things done. Well, you guys can work it out. Yeah, we will. No, we won't.", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff", "Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "[Chang recites entire conversation verbatim with perfect recall]", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Well, my short term memory has actually improved. My doctor calls it a, um... side effect.", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Well played, Chang. The chess match has begun. What... I'm Chinese?", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "An 'entrepreneu-her,' if you will. Or maybe a businesswoman? Okay, fine. Think inside the box.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "What you talkin' about, hookey? I haven't introduced you to my Asian wife yet. Uh-oh... I was wrong. [Pierce gets worse]", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Garrett, here he comes. Get up. I can't. It's too heavy! Garrett, now. Now.", "c": ["Annie", "Garrett"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "This is Houlihan. I'm her partner, Partner. Wait, I'm Partner. No, you're not.", "c": ["Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I'm the last face that a lot of trout ever see. I'm not saying that the trout are a vengeful breed, but if they were, I'd probably be public enemy number one.", "c": ["Sullivan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I was pretty relieved when I found out it was a naked Asian guy, and not an angry trout.", "c": ["Sullivan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "What do I look like, trout world? No employees. Heh, just me. And my dog.", "c": ["Sullivan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "What do I look like, trout world? No employees. Heh, just me. And my dog.", "c": ["Mr. Sullivan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "A spike in production in June, at the peak of milkweed allergy season? Something on this trout farm was starting to smell... wrong.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Well, looks like everything checks out here. Right, Troy? No, Houlihan, I don't think anything checks out here.", "c": ["Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Fine! You got me. I've been using that Asian guy as unpaid, manual labor for three months before I drove him into town. But he wanted me to! We were friends, and I treated him with respect and dignity.", "c": ["Sullivan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Fine! You got me. I've been using that Asian guy as unpaid, manual labor for three months before I drove him into town. But he wanted me to!", "c": ["Mr. Sullivan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Growing up, I had a cat named Troy, a bird named Troy, and a hamster named Troy. They were all older than me.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "They were supposed to come back with a smoking gun, and all they found was a little human rights abuse. Which, normally, is terrible.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "\u266a The itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "It goes on like this for another 12 hours. I couldn't even get through it all, and I sat through The Tree of Life.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "When he's alone, he mostly just practices smiling and frowning. We've all done it.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "You shut up. But I love you. You get yourself in the kitchen, and make me a burrito. Oh, okay, yay! Oh, thank you.", "c": ["Pierce", "Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "So please welcome to the stage the former Mrs. Ben Chang, Alessandra.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "You called her over and over and over again, even though you don't know her or how to use a phone or what a number is.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I found it in the vents! It's 555-0190. And it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "I found it in the vents! It's 555-0190. And it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. But I always hung up, because... I didn't know if the person on the other end would ever want to talk to Kevin... after knowing Chang.", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Look, if he doesn't remember her, then this wouldn't bother him. My logic is flawless! Doesn't that bother you? That bothers you!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Hey, Alessandra, his last girlfriend was a charred mannequin leg!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "On behalf of the Macguffin neurological institute, Grant granted.", "c": ["Macguffin Representative"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Grant granted.", "c": ["Macguffin Institute representative"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "By trying to make Kevin a pariah, I accidentally became more Chang than Chang at his Changiest.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't try to kill anyone. Which no one seems to care about. But you know what I'm saying.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Wanting to leave that name behind is the sanest decision anyone can make.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "A lot of filmmakers use crane shots to elicit emotion. What the heck, Abed?", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Why can't you ever make a documentary about the thing you plan to make a documentary about?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Hi, it's me. They all finally bought it. Hook, line, and Winger. I patiently await your further instructions. Chang out.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.74, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Why did I do that? Man...", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"}, {"t": "Sat score zero. And he was recently arrested for selling marijuana to a police officer at a police station.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Family net worth, $8 million. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what we in the community college recruiting game call a 'whale.'", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "If you don't like the crispy-licious taste of Let's, feel free to eat that other greasy brand. Splingles? Not this guy.", "c": ["Dean", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Pierce cannot know about this. He's a big baby who throws tantrums when anyone else gets attention.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "He is the only Greendale student who has ever paid for a premium locker or the extended pencil warranty.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Remember when Kerri Strug visited our campus? - That was horrible. - That was awful.", "c": ["Dean", "Group"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "I'm in. Sounds like a romper.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "The biology department's been dissecting the same dead pig for 10 years.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "I made room in my trophy case. Then, I remembered classes don't give out trophies, so I put a fishbowl there instead.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Actually, you can count me in on this one. What? You had me at 'no Pierce.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "You just want to be a part of something. Admit it, Thanksgiving softened that Winger underbelly.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "They develop nimble fingers from pleasing their mistresses.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Thank you for opening my eyes to two new stereotypes.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Walking Dead has left the building. Resume operation, Deadliest Catch.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Hookers, blow, hookers.", "c": ["School Board"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "College dean threatening a fraternity. You'll never shut down the Delta Cubes.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Physical education education? I thought that was a typo in the course cartalogue.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "A gym is a building, a man-made structure inside which physical education teachers teach physical education to physical education students.", "c": ["Coach Chapman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "When my kids talk past bedtime, I use my angry voice, and I say, 'the next peep I hear will be the last.' And I give 'em one of these.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "The Delta Cubes will never die. We've only just begun to fight. You only began yesterday.", "c": ["Abed", "Dean"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Suck it, bozos. You're getting ditched by the cool kids.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Welcome to Greendale. I'm bean Pelton. 'Bean Pelton?' Dean Pelton. Gosh, I'm nervous.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "City college bought you a vespa? Brand-new. So, Archie, have you heard about our half-pipes and hash pipes class, taught by professor Shaun White?", "c": ["Archie", "Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "So, Archie, have you heard about our half-pipes and hash pipes class, taught by professor Shaun White?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "My friends and I can drop it off an overpass. Ah, I shouldn't have heard that.", "c": ["Archie", "Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Well, city college slipped that slope when they slipped him that scooter, but they sure slipped up when they let him set foot on our soil.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "You have the spatial reasoning skills of a young Kevin Miller, a really good PE teacher I know.", "c": ["Coach"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "There's something about a breast that's never been touched by white hands.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Who teaches bikini class. Oh, yeah! Whoa, check out that bling! I want that.", "c": ["Dean", "Archie"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Delta Cubes! Prepare to bond through embarrassment. Pacifiers in!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "No! Line drawn! If I wanted to wait on a rich man hand and foot, I would've gone to Dubai with that sheik I met at Trader Joe's.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "I think all a man needs in life is a close shave, a cold beer, and you know, maybe a faithful dog.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "I'd look out the window, and there he was, dropping a steaming fat one on the lawn.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "This state-of-the-art mock locker room, or 'mocker room,' simulates the conditions of an actual locker room.", "c": ["Coach Chapman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Keep yo hands to yourself! Running will get you five laps, mister! I will come in that shower and kick yo bare ass!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Release the whores.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Well, if you like the place so much, why don't you gay marry it?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "If you're so proud... Why don't you gay marry me?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "You drew the short straw. Well, that's how it started, but I really did end up having a good time.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "I'm glad I didn't have kids. They just end up disappointing you.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "I want that to be my thing now. I don't think you can do that.", "c": ["Archie", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Magnitude, you're not to say 'pop pop' ever again. Not pop? That's right. Find a new thing.", "c": ["Dean", "Magnitude"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Pop pop!", "c": ["Magnitude"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "The only thing weighing on me is tons and tons of whale money.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Don't talk about Pierce like that. Look, maybe the only reason he can be so unpleasant is because we expect him to be.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Diggity doo? My God, what have we done?", "c": ["Magnitude", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "I had to hitchhike home last night in a burrito truck. It's not as fun as it sounds.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "No one deserves to be mocked for being mock-locked in a mock locker.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Greendale is a nice welcome banner. Greendale is a foamless cafeteria. And Greendale is Magnitude saying 'pop pop.'", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Everybody kisses my ass because my dad is loaded, and they always give me free stuff, like that jet ski I sunk, but it would be pretty sweet to be treated like a normal dude...", "c": ["Archie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Delta Cubes! Delta Cubes! Delta Cubes! Delta Cubes! Delta Cubes! Delta Cubes!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Delta Cubes, operation, slack attack! Slack attack?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "You know what sport I never got? Golf. No argument here. They lost me immediately with the clown clothes.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Get your damn hand off of my Let's!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Honestly, after all that, you still eat splingles? Uh, yeah, Troy. Splingles have 30% less fat. They're the fit chip.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Get your damn hand off of my Let's!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Economics of Marine Biology"}, {"t": "Even Pierce loves this show now? It's not Inspector Spacetime. It's the American version, and it's a travesty. It's broad, obvious, sexist, and the timing is...", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Honey, I'm dean!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "What the hell is wrong with you?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "What a 'coincidean.'", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "I've been making a conscious effort to get away from filtering everything through TV. I figured it's time I showed some growth. It's been three and a half seasons... Is what the old me would have said.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "You think I decide to just do a rain forest theme and buy palm fronds and rig the sprinkler system to... Hold on, I gotta write this down.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "And instead of Sadie Hawkins, my dance will honor a real feminist icon, someone who worked for women's rights every day of the year... Sophie B. Hawkins.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Jeff's knowing look and supportive response despite clearly knowing Britta made a mistake", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Britta for the whoops!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Really? Your plan was to throw a dance honoring the singer of damn I wish I was your lover? And as I lay me down, which in my opinion is the far superior song.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "And it is gonna be amazing, and when people come they're gonna be like, 'damn! She straight Britta'd this!' Because, that's right, I'm taking it back!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Call this off before it becomes a full-scale 'Brit-astrophe.' I coined that.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "And when she comes I'm gonna be like, 'I will remember you doubting me.' That's a Sarah McLachlan song.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "I've always thought of myself as more of an acquired taste... but... Okay.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "That's exactly a competition. So it is. Only for the loser.", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "I may have lied this morning about meeting Sophie B. Hawkins because I didn't want Jeff to make fun of me, and then I may have lied to cover that lie, and now I'm in deep... lies.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Do you want to be the schmuck who apologizes just before the world ends?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Now seriously, I need to get to my email. The post office is about to close.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "That guy's like teflon. No matter how much awful stuff he does, he keep getting another chance. Yeah, he's like the Colin Farrell of people.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "In the interest of growth I'm trying to avoid hijinks, as well as capers, romps, and exploits. Escapades are a gray area.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "She's like one of those quirky girls from the movies. I saw her in the cafeteria trying to pay for lunch with a song.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "I asked if you'd go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with me into the balloon. Could you hear it?", "c": ["Kat"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Super duper mister Cooper!", "c": ["Kat"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "So, was that girl an alien or a toddler with a growing disease?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "At the risk of discovering I'm living two parallel lives like that guy in Awake, don't you already have a date to the dance?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "You think two dates is crazy? Planning a dance is hijinks city, population hijinks.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Get some ice? Wacky ice. The ice will be wacky.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Kevin. Apparently I'm your DJ tonight. Uh, I really don't know what I'm doing, so... If you have a request, please be specific. I have Changnesia.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "I'm also gonna need to check this Gideon's Bible and this jelly bean kaleidoscope. Icebreakers.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Hey, Britta. Where's Sophie B.? Is she backstage drinking Zima and counting her beanie babies?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "So it just be coincidence that somebody posted a craigslist ad an hour ago that says, 'looking for Sophie B. Hawkins, or convincing Sophie B. Hawkins impersonator to play community college dance tonight. Very little money.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "All I need is a disguise. Or you could just go to the supply closet and get some more chips. Okay, but I-I still need to use the moustache probably.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Thanks, guv'nor! I'll just put it in me invisible sack.", "c": ["Kat"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Did she tell you she plays the saw? I thought she was in an all-girl kazoo band? They need a rhythm section, duh.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Because you have something in your teeth. A lot of somethings. I do? What is it? Ooh, I can't tell in this light. But it's definitely there.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "No, don't! Because you have something in your teeth. A lot of somethings. I do? What is it? Ooh, I can't tell in this light. But it's definitely there. You should probably check it out in the bathroom. Maybe the second floor one? Better light.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Shall we dance? Whoop.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Are you reading the Bible? No spoilers. I'm really hoping that things turn around for this Job guy.", "c": ["Abed", "Jessica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "It's one of my favorite bits, like when a dog acts embarrassed, or when a guy chases after the girl and then does that big public declaration of love. It's not realistic. It's taking something private and turning it into a performance.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Tonight's Sadie Hawkins dance is brought to you by Hawthorne Wipes. For the little lady who knows her place in the kitchen. And tonight's Sophie B. Hawkins dance is brought to you by Hawthorne Wipes. Perfect for cleaning the dashboard of your '92 Subaru.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. A large percentage of Greendale students sort of gave up in the mid '90s, so for many of them Sophie B. Hawkins is the most recent music they're aware of. I mean, her coming here is gonna be a huge boost to their spirits. Whereas, her not showing up would be enough to push these people to such a dark place and really question whether life is worth living at all.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Whereas, her not showing up would be enough to push these people to such a dark place and really question whether life is worth living at all.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine that everyone called a liar. His name was Bernie Madoff. Pierce! He was a liar. He stole billions of dollars from his clients. Has this been confirmed?", "c": ["Pierce", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I 'Britta'd' it. Bernie?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "He's on two dates, isn't he? He certainly is.", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "This is the most fun I've ever had on a work study gig. And I used to run the frozen yogurt machine before that old guy broke it.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "If this were a movie, this would be the part where we kiss. You're right. Except we're doing a sitcom trope, so it'd be totally out of place.", "c": ["Kat", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Well, it blew up in my face, in a slightly different way than I planned.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "I mean, whose water wings are these?", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "But I was so busy chasing one trope, I missed the trope right under my nose... That the girl I liked all along was under my nose.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Sophie! Sophie! Sophie! I hate to say I told you so, but I'm gonna say it to Britta's face.", "c": ["Crowd", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Wait. This one's real, right? Yeah, I'm really sad. Aww.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed", "Shirley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey! It's Sophie B. Hawkins!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey! It's Sophie B. Hawkins!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "If it's possible to make something happen by willing it, then, yes, I did.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Pardon me, Sophie. I have something to say. There was a girl here tonight. Her name was Rachel. I met her, and it was very pleasant. And I made a mistake. And now I'd very much like to continue this conversation in private.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Do you want to pretend like you're just going out with me on a bet? Oh, I'd like that very much. But maybe we should try normal first.", "c": ["Jessica", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "According to dean law, I must now give her my amulet.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "I was the official supplier of moist towelettes to the lilith fair between 1997 and 1999.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "You make fun of her, you use her name as a synonym for screwing up. Cut her some slack, Jeff. She helped you reconcile with your dad. For Pete's sake, let her be happy.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Herstory of Dance"}, {"t": "Okay, this awkward silence has been going on for days.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Granted, Jeffrey looks amazing when he broods", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Why did you make, have, and bring these?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "It's not like I had them on hand for personal use.", "c": ["Dean Craig"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Let me just grab this thing that's definitely not a whip.", "c": ["Dean Craig"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Dean, puppet Kevin here thinks I should have a candy bar right now. No, you know how it winds you up. Fine. We'll split it. All right. Got money, bro? He's not what he seems!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Although, no one's seen him since he lost his mind in the woods.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Dean, what happened is between us and Jesus, and Jesus don't snitch.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "But I am a fan of the medium, so... my father is withholding.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Who are we, Jeff during sex?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "If we're gonna play this game, then, unlike sex with Britta, we're gonna do it quickly and with a small shred of dignity.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Jeffrey, dignity is my middle name, and my first name is Dean-nocchio!", "c": ["Dean Craig"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "That's called rubber flubbing, and it's a real problem. Open your eyes, people!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Britta said, 'Open your eyes, people.' Square. Nice.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "We've been best friends for four years, so we've fallen into a comfortable, repetitive pattern like humorous misunderstandings on Three's Company or girls gossiping on Gossip Girl.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "This game is gay. Square.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "That's not a very Christian thing to do. Square.", "c": ["Shirley", "Troy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Can we go back to studying now? Square. I don't like this game. Me neither. I think it's mean. There's no point. Yeah, it's insulting. Okay, stop. Square.", "c": ["Annie", "Troy", "Everyone", "Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "But to be fair, there's not many things you could be stuck in. Elevators. Bad marriages. A peat bog. On a flight in the middle seat. Time loops. The bottom of a well. Your own emotions. Quicksand. Okay, stop! Square.", "c": ["Everyone", "Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "They all really typify the diversity we have here at Greendale. Uh, ruggedly handsome leading man... a mom, an activist, a perfect student, a lifelong learner, a sidekick, and Abed.", "c": ["Dean Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Yeah, prepare to be pop-popped! Aw, he's a national treasure.", "c": ["Magnitude", "Dean Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Hey, whose dad has a vintage Ferrari?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Abed, a pop culture reference is more of the same.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "\u266a Could we travel through time? or maybe see France? or anywhere else naked ladies will dance? \u266a", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "\u266a I'd rather stay at Greendale \u266a", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "\u266a Pierce, bring your dentures \u266a", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "\u266a I'd rather fly to Vegas \u266a", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "From now on, no more singing in the balloon.", "c": ["Balloon Guide"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "You could have died. You could have died. How could you almost let him die?", "c": ["Dean Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Come on, people. I can't do this alone. You can't do it at all.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "If we fly to heaven, please don't tell my grandpa about me and Britta.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "I can't even see the Landing Strip or any of the other nudie bars.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "That's international airspace. We're literally above the law. Jeff can marry any man he wants.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "So does gravity, Shirley. And you know who invented gravity, right?", "c": ["Pierce", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Oh, damn you, gravity! Damn you, prayer! Damn you, Vicki!", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Has anyone else noticed Professor Duncan hasn't been around for a long time?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Pierce, no! Bring it to me strong, old man monkey strength!", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "I'm so sorry. When you hurt, I hurt.", "c": ["Dean Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "I'm alive. Square.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "We need to start a prison system.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "We'll be stranded here forever, and I've never seen blue man group!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "I did see blue man group. I just didn't get it. Why can't they talk? They have so much in common.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "And I thought my hair looked fake.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "How did you know my name is Pierce? It's embroidered on your Greendale shirt you got at the student store. How'd you know I got it at the student store? I'm a touch psychic.", "c": ["Pierce", "Mountain Man", "Pierce", "Mountain Man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "So this is how Greendale graduates end up: As transient mountain men. Huh. Not as bad as I thought.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Hi, Troy.", "c": ["Moose"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "\u266a my hand just made a rainbow \u266a \u266a Magic, magic \u266a \u266a well, these magical berries put us in a drug seq-- \u266a", "c": ["Troy", "Shirley", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Dean! There is a fire in the cafeteria. Garrett, not now!", "c": ["Garrett", "Dean Craig"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Your skin is so beautiful and soft. It's like felt.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "I was at the grocery store with my kids, and I thought I saw Andre walk by with another woman... I ended up tailing them all the way out of town. It wasn't even Andre. The horrible part is I forgot my kids and left them all night in the grocery store.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "treating me like Judas, judging me like Judy. You know, Judge Judy. She judges people.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Those berries made us real talky but not real listen-y.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "We're in the clear. \u266a We're in the clear \u266a I'm a genius! \u266a We're in the clear \u266a Yeah! \u266a We're in the clear \u266a", "c": ["Annie", "Everyone"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Um, don't mind me. I'm sure you guys can get on with your lives without the worst mom ever. Sounds good. Anyone up for a movie?", "c": ["Shirley", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "\u266a I said it didn't bother me But truthfully it did I promised him I'd make it to a baseball game he had But I bailed and never called again And now I'm just exactly like my dad \u266a", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "\u266a I am an activist That's always been my choice Truth is I've never voted Except when I watch The Voice \u266a", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "\u266a I let Cornwallis rub my feet to give me all the answers to a test \u266a", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "\u266a I caused the Greendale fire of '03 55 acres went up in a blaze All because I burned an ant hill \u266a", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "\u266a I've never slept with the great Eartha Kitt We dry humped inside of her tour bus \u266a", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Well, uh... the level to which we respect you as a political activist has definitely not changed.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Knowledge is a party.", "c": ["Dean Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "Once again, I help fix everyone's problems only to go home alone. Who says you have to be alone? Jeffrey.", "c": ["Dean Craig", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "What are we doing here? / Yeah. / No, Gollum, no!", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "There's so much skin! So much skin came off! What happened? Did he knock it off? What'd I miss?", "c": ["Cast Members"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"}, {"t": "I brought a few things just to make the place look a little less short-term corporate housing.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Oh, well, mi casa es su art project.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Just a few things to add a little Annie.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Sha. Sha-na-not.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Let's just live with them for a night. We can totally return them. Oh, let's totally return them.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "You realize you've just put your friends in a very awkward position. A gift creates obligation.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Oh, who couldn't have seen that coming?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.16, "im": 4.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "There's a real problem with resistance in this group.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Oh, Annie explained to me that 'no gifts' means 'bring gifts.' I'm getting it. No means yes.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "I was hoping we could do a Die Hard in a restaurant. There's a place called Nakatomi Sushi. I hear the Hans Grouper is to die for.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "I'll bet she does.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "But, for the purpose of story symmetry, I suggest we wait here silently until the Professor arrives. It's the only real plot point we need next.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "No. Nor was anyone else.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Did you hear him use 'feminine' as an insult? Typical phallo-centric worldview.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Yippee-ki-yay, Father Christmas. I tried to get you 'taking off shoes,' but I didn't know how to wrap it.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Don't you mix it with cherry pop or Monterey Jack cheese?", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Actually, you know, I was talking to the ladies.", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "He called me Broken Barbie all year.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Well, there was a secret Tom Waits show in town, so I did the math.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "I copied and pasted the lyrics to war, what is it good for? Good God.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "I have carefully cultivated a persona that screams, 'you're on your own.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Is this a card? No, it isn't. Queen of Hearts. No, I'm asking, is this a card?", "c": ["Chang", "Professor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure it's 'anus.'", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "And what we did was not dating.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "If there was heat, I'd be nervous, and, if I was nervous, I'd be rambling, and I'm definitely not rambling, so there's no heat.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "That's a lie they tell dumb people when they're fitting them for work boots.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "I have Changnesia. I'm not a dog.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Okay, this is way better than Die Hard in a restaurant.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "And now, thanks to Kevin's complete misreading of the situation, we have our moment of maximum leverage", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "We'd all heard about your troubles with co-eds back at Oxford, but it was becoming all too real. As you lumbered around the room, we had to assume you were coming after me or Britta. Ah-ah-ahem! Or Shirley,", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "who I didn't mention earlier, because she intimidates you sexually.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "This is amazing and possibly all in real time.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Promise not to monologue till I get back?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "And what we did was not dating. Uh. Ah. A little friction.", "c": ["Jeff", "Professor"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "First of all, it's me, and, second of all, you put Britta ahead of me?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Not this guy.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Tom Waits was... Ah! Ow. You cost me Valedictorian. He cost me Valedictorian. That was my punch.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Next time you decide to have a party without me, Jeffrey, at least have the decency to do it when I'm in spin class.", "c": ["Annie's neighbor"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "I'm a blast at holiday-themed parties.", "c": ["Annie's neighbor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Now, one of you untied me. I wonder who it was. Who is the Benedict Arnold, the true hero of this story?", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Now I'm gonna do something that Octavian never would... yeah, I read the book.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Once again, I'm not a dog.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "So you go... Make a little rabbit ear like so, then the kids go marching down the well.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Professor, you were never tied up.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "That I did it because I'm lonely? That my daughter isn't in town? That she never comes to see me because she finds me too manipulative?", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Seeing as you saved me from my yearly Christmas tradition of plum pudding, roasted goose, and updating my suicide note...", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "No, stupid, a gift doesn't create an obligation. It's the obligation that's a gift.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "I gotta drop a deuce. See you guys.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "At nice times like this, I wonder what's happening in the darkest timeline.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "My client miss Edison did rob several drug stores, and, yes, she did stab several pharmacists, but let's talk about the bigger crime, that someone so beautiful has been removed from society.", "c": ["Evil Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "Are you sure you don't have a problem with our age difference? Yeah, I wish you were even younger.", "c": ["Evil Annie", "Evil Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Intro to Knots"}, {"t": "What we need to figure out is Greendale's obsession with group assignments. [Scoffs] Classic herd mentality.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "All right, Britta doesn't have one. Who else?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "I've been told I look like a Kennedy.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Nope, not an idea. That's a statement. Anyone not on medication?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Professor Cornwaaa-- He didn't even finish signing his name.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Then, you might want to teach your mouth how to say 'we,' 'our,' and 'us.'", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "I've been told I look like a Kennedy. Nope, still just a random statement, and still useless.", "c": ["Pierce", "Jeff"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Both: Of? Your first date? - Oh! - Da-doy.", "c": ["Troy", "Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "That was a test, and you failed. - I was just kidding.", "c": ["Troy", "Britta"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Somebody's sure working her way around the table. Aren't you?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.34, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Both: Oh... That, you remember?", "c": ["Troy", "Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Judge Reinhold. Both: Oh.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy", "Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "[Stilted] Oh, Troy, you are so thoughtful. I wish I had the capacity for sentimentality like you do.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "[Stilted] Me? I wish I was more like you. No emotional hang-ups, endless cool adventures. You have it so easy. No, you do, Troy. No, you do, Abed.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Both: I wish I could switch places with you for just one day! [Babbling gibberish]", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Sorry. Routine light switch check.", "c": ["Janitor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "I thought that would work. Yeah, we're all floored it didn't.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "[Direct, as Abed] Yes. That would be this day.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "[Emoting, as Troy] Oh, my God. This is wrinkling my brain! And of all the days! I got my big, important meeting with my study group.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Annie, remember. We're doing doable and passable. We're doing whatever it takes to help us... - Thank you. - ...beat Leonard.", "c": ["Jeff", "Shirley"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "You're getting beat by Leonard? [Chuckles] He's so old.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "[Low] Annie is the three. That is what 'respectively' suggests.", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Mm. Mm-hmm. [Chuckles] Whoa! That was weird. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We didn't mean to do that. We know exactly where we sit.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Both: Oh, thank God, you noticed.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, yes, dorks.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Both: I deserve to be number one! Sorry. Or me! Sorry.", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Tell your boyfriend and his boyfriend that playtime is over.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Stay alive. Or don't. I'm on it.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Oh, so he might need an almost therapist.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Dean, I need you. [Gasps] It's happening. Shut the door.", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Oh, I love those movies! They should make more of them. They're a timeless tale.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Both: I wish I could switch places with you for just one day. Oh! Oh! Oh... Ah! [Gasps] Sorry. Routine light switch check. That is not a thing!", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean", "Janitor"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "[Deep, as Jeff] Oh, you've got to be kidding me. I'm you?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Of course. It's fricking Friday. There's no justification to be made, because it can't happen, weirdo.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "You're not even holding a phone!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "He's like the pick-up sticks of people.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Well, well, well. John 'Mc-Lame.' Never thought I'd see your face again.", "c": ["Video Store Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "I would rather watch a napkin sit and do nothing all day than to even endure the trailer for Die Hard!", "c": ["Video Store Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "I'm both starving and another word for wanting food.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Nice try. That's the remake. In the original, the mom and daughter simply exclaimed, 'I wish I could switch places with you for just one day,' like we did. In that one, there's a magic fortune cookie.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Listen, why don't I pitch you a remake of a remake, where my magic mouth tells you drop the act because Abed isn't even here. Then, you cough up the DVD and we go tell Abed you're back in your own bodies, so we can go do doable and passable banners.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "First, that's a terrible movie. Second, I understand why you're frustrated, it's in your nature, but this is happening.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "I'd stop what I'm doing, but then I'd be depriving you of the view. You're welcome. What's up?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "I'm in Greendale, stuck in the body of a man who could be Gollum's shadow, so yeah, I'd say it's half past suck.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "[Laughs] Totally. 'Half past suck.' That's funny. Okay. That's creepy.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Back in 1968, Leonard got an 'A' in Rotary Phone Maintenance.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "It means we're taking an old man down. [Gasps] Ooh.", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "What is wrong with you? I don't know.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "The Greenpeace one you haven't gotten yet because you're afraid of needles.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "[Laughter] Yes, Lord Brickell, I was indeed down by the stables.", "c": ["Janitor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "There you go. My work here is done. You're one and two again. Now, you can direct your anger and resentment at each other. Congrats. - Classic wrap-up. - Shut up, Leonard! I've got a picture of your old nose! - It was a lateral move!", "c": ["Leonard", "Jeff", "Annie", "Leonard"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Holy--makes complete sense at this school! FYI, one of these piles is load-bearing, so, uh, yeah, watch that.", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "I wish I had the courage to commit to a bit like you, Abed, or to a relationship, like Troy. Committing is hard, because we're all scared of what happens when we find out we committed to the wrong thing, but there's no shame in what Troy's done. He put himself out there and he really tried, and that proves he cares.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Both: I wish I had my own body back! [Babbling gibberish]", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Sorry, routine light switch check. [Babbling continues]", "c": ["Janitor"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Holy--makes no sense whatsoever. Whole thing took 25 minutes tops.", "c": ["Annie", "Pierce"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "When I switched bodies with Jeffrey... - Nope. - I thought I knew what it would be like to have Jeffrey inside of me... - That did not happen. - But as it turns out, having Jeffrey inside of me... - Nope again. - ...only brought out the worst in me. Which is to say, having Jeffrey inside of me... - No one was inside of anyone! - ...was wrong... - to have Jeffrey inside of me. - Shut up!", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Oh, man. Football is fun. That is an interest I have. Also plumbing and air conditioning are things I think about.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Basic Human Anatomy"}, {"t": "Shirley, did you ever date Roger Ebert?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Britta, did you ever take pictures of your feet and post them on the Internet for money?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "he did seem disappointed that the operation didn't involve sleeping with a Russian woman, then waking up in a bathtub full of ice", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Nobody bite. We agreed no biting.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "So you're saying we're all connected like the classic French film trilogy Bleu, Blanc, Rouge? No, like something more accessible. Like Unbreakable.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Sha-ha! No.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "No, like something more accessible. Like Unbreakable.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Just really love this thing. Skymall.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "I call it the crazy quilt of destiny mainly because the loom of fate was already taken.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "I don't care what tricks or nonsense you have in your scrapbook, Martha Stewart", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Really?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "How do I balance straight As, extracurriculars, and Israeli folk dancing every Friday night?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Then I drink your milkshake.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "You guys gotta see my Juno.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Ooh! Uh, that's also a type of math.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Yeah, I don't remember her at all.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "you know you gonna get it, right? You gonna get it!", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "faster than you can say 'wounded knee,' we turn into a casino and midsize concert venue", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, Greendale Resort and Casino presents Steve Winwood.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "We called ourselves the An-her-chists.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "He convinced a judge to forgive five years back taxes by getting him to agree that you humping an American flag to Back In Black was not stripping but actually not-for-profit performance art.", "c": ["Jeff's friend"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "What's an anarchist to do without her organization?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Jeffrey, how could you?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Like how awesome it is when Uncle Ben is murdered in Spider-Man.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "For real.", "c": ["Mysti"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Can I have some corn nuts? Wah! No! Nooooo!", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "I'm the damn Valedictorian and head of student council and president of campus crusade for Christ. And I'm Jewish!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "You just go wherever they tell you to run. I'm sorry. Do you go to my school?", "c": ["Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Pop! Pop!", "c": ["Magnitude"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Okay, if you like Star Wars, why do you wanna murder it and urinate on its grave? The prequels are terrible.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "wouldn't Chewbacca, at some point, go, 'Hey, Yoda, I know that guy'?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "I go wherever it plays to warn people. You've been warned.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Hey, doc. By the way, someone just stole your prescription pad.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "In fairness, Annie, running through a glass door might've been the drug tip-off.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "I couldn't handle the monkey, so I traded it in for a glaucoma brownie, even though I knew if it bit someone, it would make them a teensy bit psychotic.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna go get 'crap on other people's lawns' drunk.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Also, and I hate to bring this up, you did once make me pee myself.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Also, and I hate to bring this up, you did once make me pee myself.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Just ten minutes ago, I would've been so excited about that peeing thing.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "I wanted to make a prequel and I ruined everything.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "I should probably write George Lucas a note of apology. Okay, let's not get crazy.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Self-serve yogurt. Those douses already know one marketable skill.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "This better not awaken anything in me.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Crystal Skull was aliens, so it's a pretty great film.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Midichlorians. Midichlorians!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "What a dweeb. Yeah, what a dweeb.", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Greendale community college is a total joke. They'd give a degree to a monkey.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Some old guy broke the machine and is faking a heart attack.", "c": ["Mall employee"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Cool, cool, cool.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "So what you're saying is that we're all each other's Uncle Ben's murder. And we're all Spider-Men. Yeah. Let's say I'm saying that.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "It's not Chang. It's Kevin.", "c": ["Chang/Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "I'm out. You're too in to be out.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Heroic Origins"}, {"t": "Get out of my chair, or I'll have you disbarred. Oh, wait. That already happened.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "So a little birdie told me you're graduating kiddie college. You must be excited to get that lollipop.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Hey. It's a sticker.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I know you're busy, not, so allow me to whip it out.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I don't get it. We just had Christmas, and now it's warm outside. Of course it is, dummy. We just finished fall-spring semester. Bring on summer-winter.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "My final film school class is just called opinions. Professor Taylor is scheduled to teach, but I have a rebuttal.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I transferred to forensics late and got the worst classes. Skull fragment collection, advanced advanced decomp, and intro to senselessness were all full.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I passed all my classes, so now I just do yoga while the teachers write down my wisdoms.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "You worked hard not to work hard to earn that degree.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "What did you end up majoring in? Education. You had to win, didn't you?", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Pierce, you have so many credits, they have grand-credits.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "When's the graduation ceremony? Never. It's community college. You just send in some papers and they stop charging you.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "It's moving, in its own way.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "You always do.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Necessary? You asked for proof of inseam.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I'm going to miss our playful, 'Get a room already' banter.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Just need to sign the old John Dean-cock and you will be graduated.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Starting to sound like a wedding. Not a wedding. Just your average, low-key diploma signing, to which you're all cordially invited, tomorrow afternoon.", "c": ["Annie", "Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Tomorrow? Is that enough time to plan a whole wedding? Absolutely. I'll get my book.", "c": ["Annie", "Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Do you remember last year, when he wouldn't stop talking about that 'darkest timeline' thing? The one where I lost my arm? And Pierce died, and Annie went insane, and he blamed it all on you throwing some dice.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "So now you're leaving me out. No, we're leaving Jeff out. So I'm not even the one who gets left out anymore.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I brought it. I-I just drank it all.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "We'll roll for it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Must I bear this cross forever?", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "\u266a Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean \u266a", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Do not even tell me you dropped that cake.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I think it's because you're scared to take this law job with your old partner. But don't let that stop you from graduating. Take the job, don't take the job. Either way, your friends are always going to be here to support you.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "They made lame Jeff too lame to leave Greendale. He's got to take that job. But how do we make him do that? By turning the study group against him so he'll run screaming from this rancid cocoon into the welcoming arms of darkness.", "c": ["Evil Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "It's not. I just like when you talk down to me like a child.", "c": ["Evil Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I'm saying I'm hot for you.", "c": ["Evil Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Winger, streaking on your last day of school? Respect.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Hello, Evil Jeff. What? How did you-- I may not be good with facial expressions, but I know an evil doppelganger when I see one. Plus your arm makes a noise every time you move it.", "c": ["Abed", "Evil Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "You wish.", "c": ["Evil Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Cool. Wait. Cold.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Out of my chair, monkey.", "c": ["Evil Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "The darkest timeline.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "It's called 'The Troy-jan Horse.' It goes bread, lettuce, ham, ham, bacon, chocolate--", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "If you call a sandwich a 'Troy-jan Horse,' people are going to think there's horse in it. Oh, my dreams.", "c": ["Evil Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Kind of a Superman III meets that Star Trek episode meets season three of The Cape. The Cape was cancelled. Not here. They retooled it for cable, and it's awesome.", "c": ["Abed", "Good Abed", "Evil Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I cannot believe the hurtful things you said to me in my office. I'll have you know that wanting a little pageantry in your life isn't a crime or a lifestyle choice.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Annie, why are you acting like a mistress in a lifetime movie?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Friendship!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "After I got shot, I faked my death to teach you all a lesson. Lesson about what? Who can remember? It was more than a year ago.", "c": ["Pierce", "Troy", "Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "It's complicated, but basically, the first person to shoot themselves wins.", "c": ["Evil Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Winner.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Did you shoot yourself too? Every time.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "We're sleeping with Jeff there. What? We are? All the time. And he loves it.", "c": ["Evil Annie", "Annie", "Evil Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Nobody sleeps with Jeff. Not even me.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I've been counting bullets. One of us is out. Is it you? Yes. Why would you tell me that? To sound intimidating.", "c": ["Annie", "Evil Annie", "Annie", "Evil Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Ballin'.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Haven't you noticed the vending machines are full of meats and hard-boiled eggs? Or that all the background students are attractive women?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Don't logic this one away from me. We finally figured out a way to make paintball cool again.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Neither time nor distance nor screening one's calls could ever sever what nature herself has ordained. When two men are drawn-- I'll take it from here, Craig. Fair enough. I was reaching.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Ooh. Burn on Britta. Sorry, seven.", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Pierce. You don't have to do this. I'm ready to graduate. Yeah? Well, I'm ready to graduate first.", "c": ["Jeff", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I'm thinking I might look into some small local firms. I'm going to use my big mouth to help the little guy.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "I've become much more conscious of world issues since Troy and I decided to give our baby an African name. Isn't that right, Chewbacca? It means, 'He who hunts bounties.'", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "How many times have I told you, the show doesn't really exist. No one's watching. Duh-doy. We know. Yeah, we're just messing around.", "c": ["Evil Jeff", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Advanced Introduction to Finality"}, {"t": "Jeff's overwrought TV commercial with dramatic music and grandiose claims", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Maybe you should've spent less money on special effect.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Huh, thanks a lot, Francis Ford repo man.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Sad reprise of Jeff's commercial now showing 'Loser at law' in a mini mall", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Relax, tango. I come in peace.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "A human could've said that without salivating.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "From what? His own pencil?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Weird choice, by the way, the bachelor's degree on the wall.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Jeff, I once saw you convince an arson victim that he liked his house better burned.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "the next bone you get thrown might be through a dude's zipper in the warehouse district", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Look, I might be broke, desperate, and nearly homeless, but I still got one thing deep down inside that gives me power... That was it. That was all I had.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "ranked America's number two community college by GreendaleCommunityCollege.Com", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "followed by four years of silence to the press", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "I told you you'd be back. Shut up, Leonard. I'm not here. I'm just a figment of your creeping dementia.", "c": ["Leonard", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "[Blows raspberry]", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "I've always regretted not telling you how much you remind me of my aunt.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "It's more disarming than it sounds. I have a very attractive aunt.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "You're, uh, Rita. - Rhonda.", "c": ["Jeff", "Rhonda"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Maybe you're looking for something that was in front of you the whole time just a pitch.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "The Save Greendale Committee. - Working title.", "c": ["Dean Pelton", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "And asbestos reasons, but it's clean as a whistle now.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "I see your value now.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "And me calling years 'seasons' is a callback to my first season dialogue, and me calling...", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Abed, I know what makes you off-putting, but why are you here?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "[Excited squealing and cheering] when the study group reunites", "c": ["Annie", "Britta", "Shirley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Well, you guys just got sprung from this joint, and I figured you had careers to get started. - Yeah, working hard. - Ah, yes. [All talking over each other] [Conversation peters out]", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy", "Britta", "all"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "This is where we became a family. [Chuckles] Jeff made us a family.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "We could repilot it. This could be like Scrubs season nine, a revamp, a do-over.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna be a teacher, Abed. That's lame.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Zach Braff was only in the first six episodes. That son of a bitch. After everything scrubs did for him?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Okay! So sue me! This ain't Harvard, Jeffrey.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "my job is to give a certain number of degrees per year, or we could get shut down. And that would be bad because... Ah, because then I wouldn't have a job.", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "My wife left. My girlfriend dumped me. And they're sisters, so now the whole family's pissed.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "And that's the Winger guarantee.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Or opening a zoo where the humans are in cages and the animals come to visit.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "That's like me blaming owls for how much I suck at analogies.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "I love hospital administration. - Is that your job? - Well...not yet. But I administer things to hospitals, like these. Pen? 'Futurza'?", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "They invented fibromyalgia and the cure for fibromyalgia.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "You push drugs now? That's ironic.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "You're jewish?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "You're a bartender, aren't you? Which is basically like a modern-day therapist. If somebody tells me about a murder, I can't tell anyone.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Wow, you're even bad at bartending.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "I didn't like the number. 555? It's derivative. It sounds fake. How can every number start with 555? Are there only 10,000 numbers?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Well, why don't you sell him a pill that will help him give up on his dreams?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Relaxabrex doesn't make you give up on your dreams. That's a side effect.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "At least the drugs I sell don't get slurped out of my belly button. That's only on Tummy Tuesdays!", "c": ["Annie", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "166 episodes of Bones just gone.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "I cheated on him with Shirley's Sandwiches.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Classic Winger.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "You trust-funded, body-sprayed, Eli-Roth-DVD owner...", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "You're not worth the monologue. Give me your tie.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "your tears are just ones and zeroes to me.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Yeah, you were a real Hallmark card before.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "I'm much sadder than the rest of you. [Sniffling] I will figure out why later.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Chang? - Kevin?", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Math teacher. - explain the pajamas. - I don't have a home. See this? This won't let me travel 100 yards from this, and this only has a 30-yard cord, so I can only travel... Whatever. You do the math. - You said you teach math. - Exactly. I teach it. You do it.", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "After being rehired as a security guard after being fired for impersonating a teacher. That's insane, and I'm Abed.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "But this school clearly got a finger up its butt as a child.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go score some blow. My dealer's a gym teacher here.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Britta, when we met, you were an eclectic anarchist. How did you become the group's airhead?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Thank you?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Troy, your entire identity has been consumed by your relationship with another man. You found my Clive Owen Tumblr.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Oh, don't blame it all on the gas leak year.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "You staged a robot fight?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Yeah. In real life, the robot wins.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "The same reason I never returned Time Bandits to Blockbuster. Nobody else deserves it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Let's just say some women can't take a compliment.", "c": ["Pierce hologram"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "only because it gives crappy people a chance to sort themselves out.", "c": ["Pierce hologram"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Did I sound gay at the end? Do you want to do another take?", "c": ["Pierce hologram"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "It's my whole ideantity! I mean, wah, see what I did there? That's proof!", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "You just described slavery.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Screw you, Abed.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "See, he does a voice-over wrap-up at the end of every episode. - Wow. - Cool.", "c": ["Abed", "Britta", "Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Use that. - I want to kill myself. - Use that.", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "[Farts] [Laughs]", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.36, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Repilot"}, {"t": "Any questions? You, Red Hair. I'm not gonna learn names.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Will there be a syllabus? - Is good example of a question. Moving on.", "c": ["Jeff", "Student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Oh, no spoilers, Ski Cap.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Are we human beings or just question-and-answer machines?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "We're students. And you're a teacher. - Yeah. I'm a teacher.", "c": ["Student", "Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Hey, look, it's the star of 'Head of the Ass.' - Shut up, Leonard! Nice earring. You look like the road manager for the California Raisins.", "c": ["Leonard", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "What kind of teacher talks to a student like that?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "You can have that half of the office, but come spring, that corner is stacked to the rafters with fetal pigs.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "How long have you been... - 15 years. 15 years and counting. 'Temporary gig.' Oh, I like you.", "c": ["Jeff", "Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Table, resume table mode. - Table, power down. Wait! I got a cup on there.", "c": ["Abed", "Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "It's Professor Winger! Please don't razz me about being a teacher. Teaching is the most noble profession in the world.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "He fixes cuckoo clocks for fun.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I wasn't a real lawyer, remember? I can't just pretend I'm teaching. I'm not Mythbusters.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Well, Jesus wasn't in 70 movies.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Thanks, Annie, for one glorious second, I forgot I was a teacher.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Oh! Look at Mr. Smarty Pants!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Jeff, do you know Excel? - No. - Well, it looks like you do.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Mr. Nadir drove our TV Studies professor out of his mind by proving that there was an answer to the question 'Who's the Boss?' - Angela.", "c": ["Professor Garrity", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Promise me you will be careful.", "c": ["Professor Garrity"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I can actually experience this food warm and disgusting.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "This line is for food, not for Lionel Richie tickets.", "c": ["Buzz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "You know what that means? It means he gets your meatballs. - Ah, please. That's all I have.", "c": ["Hickey", "Student"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "The trick is, you gotta show the other baboons you got a bigger, redder ass.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Break into groups, grade each other's papers, and please enjoy the seven-disc edition of Planet Earth.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "You know the rules, Pelton. Drop the checks and move on.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "He seemed scared to smell that flower but happy to get shot.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Robert Downey Jr., good, Jim Belushi, bad. Van Damme, the good kind of bad, Johnny Depp, the bad kind of good.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Hey, let's turd some lockers!", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "It's 'syllabi.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Hey, walk, don't run, mister! This isn't a racetrack!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Ahh, she in your class, yo!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "You don't have to rub it in. - What I saw today was embarrassing.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "When I asked you to explain the Sixth Amendment, you pled the Fifth! - I know my rights.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I wish Troy was in my class instead of you!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "She's lead, we're chalk.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Give her A-minuses. It'll drive her nuts, she'll drop.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Teachers don't have to explain minuses. Why do you think we invented 'em?", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "You like the Leonard Meatballs? They added something special. - It's Leonard.", "c": ["Hickey", "Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Go get your earring, you piece of human garbage.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Maybe Nicolas Cage is just... crazy. - All actors are crazy, Annie.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I think you're telling us we should teach ourselves. - I don't think you're gonna learn if I tell you how to think.", "c": ["Student", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I thought you should break into groups, but you failed to learn that, so your theory's invalid.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "You don't argue with Annie, Garrett, you let her argue with herself until she loses.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Because they draw a circle around something called 'The Truth,' and they say that everything outside it is a lie.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "He gave you a dead rat? - No, this is my witness intimidation project.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Because this... this is my reality, this is how I learned to be, and my being doesn't allow for Nicolas... Freaking Cage, okay?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm a cat. I'm a sexy cat.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Think of something safe like Holly Hunter, or Don Cheadle!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "That was brilliant.", "c": ["Professor Garrity"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Are you drawing a peanut? - It's a duck, and it's none of your concern, actually.", "c": ["Jeff", "Hickey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I was in the storm drain lair of the Black River Ripper. I have seen human heads used for things other than heads.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I may hook up with it again a few more times even if I do dump it right before Christmas.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "It's one duck, his name is Jim, and publishers are interested!", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "An A-minus means you actually earned an 'A,' but the teacher doesn't like you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Et tu, Brute? Am I using that right?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Minuses are made up! It's riot time! Yeah! Bring me their heads!", "c": ["Annie", "Students"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Pop pop!", "c": ["Magnitude"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Pop pop!", "c": ["Magnitude"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I thought the meaning of people was somewhere in here. Then I looked inside Nicolas Cage and I found a secret. People are random and pointless.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Prophets, messiahs, kung fu pandas.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "So Nicolas Cage is Jesus? - Uh, no, but he clearly works in mysterious ways.", "c": ["Abed", "Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "A demon to some and an angel to others, like a cenobite.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "You like Hellraiser? You know the word 'Hellraiser'? I thought pinhead in space was a bit of a letdown, but I'm in for the ride.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Do you think the students and teachers at Harvard are at each other's throats? No, because they're all rich.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "We all just went through an entire week of meatball lunches without even blinking. - Oh, that's on me. I converted the lunch menu to a spreadsheet.", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Those of us that get to leave aren't going anywhere.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I think that's why they call it 'Excel.'", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "And don't forget, if I fire you, you're likely starve and die, so you know.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "There are two things I don't do well, apologies and drawing duck bills.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I'm taste-testing rations for the shelter I'm digging.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I'm taste-testing rations for the shelter I'm digging.", "c": ["Buzz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I would like to address the fact that there are no Asian-Americans represented here. - We can get Chang. - No need to rush into anything.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "What do you mean my insurance won't cover it anymore? My body doesn't respond well to the generic stuff.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I'm an educator, ma'am, living on a teacher's salary!", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "I wake up every night screaming. Life is unfair, but it's the only thing we g...", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "We can't afford to bury dad with the rest of the family.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Introduction to Teaching"}, {"t": "Bro, free crackers.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Et tu, pencil?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "When it rains, it pours.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Ass Crack Bandit!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "upper buttock fold", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "when did we split the gazette from the mirror?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Will this affect soccer?", "c": ["Raul Lopez"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Hanes his ways.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "He should be called 'the run-on sentence bandit.'", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "if that's the highest DEFCON, and if high DEFCONs are worse than low ones", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "She's still alive, but I've put in my time.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Oh, Pierce, good for you. I always thought that hairpiece was a bit cowardly.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "since we held that rally protesting the wrong Korea", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Double fruit bonus. Crikey! Kiwi combo, mate. You can't handle the fruit.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "No! Unfair and racist.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "I'd rather just stop at the meat store.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "This is how they comfort victims in movies.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Well, guess what, your two cents is change, and it's banned.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "You can't stop me, because what are you gonna do, not have butts?", "c": ["Ass Crack Bandit"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I have evidence that shows I'm not listening. Exhibit 'A,' exhibit 'B.' Lalalalalala.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Taking it easy is how Troy ended up with a quarter of a buck in his crack.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "The important question is 'who cares?'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Okay, squeal.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Safety pants, 100 bucks a pop.", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "\u266a It said quarter to five, but it was quarter to ass \u266a", "c": ["Radio Singer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "We know that he hates money or loves it or doesn't care about money and hates butts or loves them.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Using a social disorder as a procedural device. Mildly autistic super detectives everywhere.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "It hurts.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Then I think you just admitted you already owned a fake butt.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "I mean, why mix metaphors? Ants don't have butts.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Ants do have butts.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Oh, excuse me for being alive in the '90s and having two ears connected to a heart.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Done.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Is better than a quarter in your butt.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Bend over with friends over.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "The student that attended can vouch for him.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "This extra long churro tastes good in my real mouth.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "It's a mild, kind sativa, perfect for playing guitar.", "c": ["Bublitz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Don't tell me what I can't do. What do you think you are, Cosmo's July quiz?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "I think you two like to partner up on cutesy capers so you can hold hands in the dark and address your urges in semi-acceptable scenarios.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Every morning, in the water... Mm.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "We're friends!", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Oh, that's very interesting. I myself was in 4h.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "We have stables?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Add some doilies and a foot bath, and this is my mom's house.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Since faking his death to escape meth charges, Alex 'Starburns' Osbourne has been living in the stables, eating garbage, and trying to build a cat car.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Oh, American high five. Sorry.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Or maybe the Dean was right about us.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "It's platonic shoulder holding.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Change is money! What are you guys, millionaires?", "c": ["Student vendor"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Real fans call him Dave.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Lee Roth?", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "I don't call nobody don't call me.", "c": ["Starburns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "I use an older, British form of Facebook called 'mug-scroll.'", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Oh, bloody hell, my shoe is untied by British standards.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Oh, bloody hell, my shoe is untied by British standards.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Pierce is dead.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "If you're listening, Pierce, you were a hell of a d&d player.", "c": ["Real Neil"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "It's a container for all this little stuff, and you get caught up in it. And then, the container just... Pbbt.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I got a feeling he'll be back. Or her.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "But dogs cost money, your money. By donating to this project, you'll be like an investor, except without taking all my profits.", "c": ["Starburns"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"}, {"t": "I guess I knew Pierce was part of a weird, futuristic cult, but I wasn't prepared for a funeral with so much beeping.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Well, let's not judge. Everyone has a right to whatever fake religion they delusionally choose.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "\u266a Troy and Abed are in mourning \u266a", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Will you guys please stop doing that? I can't believe you did it during your eulogy. So uncomfortable.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I don't think the audience got that we were singing 'mourning' with a 'u'. / You were singing 'mourning' with a 'u'? / Oh, no.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Once you reach level 16, you can see the color blurble.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Of all the ridiculous cartoon nonsense. If there is a blurble, the Lord keeps it hidden for a reason.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "What up, N-Bombs? How was the funeral? Awesome?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "No, Chang, our friend's funeral was not awesome. It was deeply sad. You know, funeral style.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "All right, are you sure you guys aren't just doing the 'respect the dead' jig-a-lig?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "By the time Pierce was my age, he had already been fired from 15 jobs. I've only seen two Police Academies. The last two.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "That's easy for you to say. And for us to say.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Aw, schnizzle. You guys are in trouble! Later.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Fine, but I ask the questions. / I'm afraid I can't allow that. / All right, then just the 'fine' part.", "c": ["Chang", "Stone"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "We're losing Pierce! Everyone, quickly! Someone get a balloon.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I always wanted to try a polygraph. They're like the pie fight of cop movies. Or the acupuncture of the legal system.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Yeah, what a waste of murder. I mean, he was, like, 79.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "If I had a final wish, I'd use it to stay alive.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "In all your sexual fantasies about Pierce Hawthorne, none of them involved his murder?", "c": ["Stone"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Are you gay? / No. / Are you sure you're not gay? / Yes. / Gay murderer says what? / What? / He's telling the truth.", "c": ["Stone", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I've been instructed to point out that that means you're gay.", "c": ["Stone"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Troy Barnes. / D'oh! I meant to say, 'butts Carlton.'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "We may have a designated rendezvous point and a couple of bugout bags filled with gold coins and condoms just in case we need to bargain our way onto a boat.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "The gold coins are for buying food.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "It's a doomsday plan, not a picnic plan. Do you really wanna see the horrors we might have to endure just to get on a boat?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Benjamin Franklin Chang, ready to deal out the truth. Nothing to hide. Let's do this.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Have you ever masturbated in the study room?", "c": ["Stone"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Have you ever 9/11'd anyone?", "c": ["Stone"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Do you and Troy still actively use Jeff's Netflix account without his permission? / Wait, what? / You told Pierce that?", "c": ["Stone", "Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Is that why my review of The Grey is constantly changing? / Yes, stop giving it four stars. / I like Liam Neeson! / Then send him a message about the roles he chooses.", "c": ["Jeff", "Troy", "Jeff", "Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Is that why my review of The Grey is constantly changing?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I padded your share of the rent by $10 and I've been putting it into a savings account that yields 4%. You'll be thanking me in six years when you find out you have $86.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "That's jacket money.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "We've been washing paper plates and making our own toothpaste. But don't you worry. When we have robot bodies on the moon, we can share a free jacket.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "That's a stereotype. / Was that anti-semitism? / No! That's sensitivity. It's anti-semitic to do things like that when you know full well you're Jewish.", "c": ["Annie", "Shirley", "Annie", "Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Your rating system is flawed.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "They're all lying. / We all know that, you judgmental bitch!", "c": ["Stone", "Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Are you aware that, in order to save money, Shirley stopped using real tofu and replaced it with a midwestern tofu substitute called 'meatfu'?", "c": ["Stone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "It's still not actually meat... Legally.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Well, no higher than usual. / Not true.", "c": ["Britta", "Stone"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "At least with a bris there's an element of suspense.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Well, next time, I'll have Cheech and Chong do the warm-up!", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "You told me a hawk stole them!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "You exploited me and made me believe in a slightly more magical world.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "If you want to collect women's underwear, can't you just buy them? / They have to be won in battle.", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Why do you keep bread in the freezer? And why does your bathroom mirror say, 'You're special,' when you fog it up?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Okay! I did it! Okay? I killed Pierce! Lie. Okay, good. Just making sure.", "c": ["Troy", "Stone"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Silence, wench! Hi, I'm Kevin, this is Kyle, and here's a fun handshake you can do with your best friend.", "c": ["Troy", "Video"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I forgive you, but only to escape the established pattern of self-righteous indignation followed by immediate comeuppance.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Okay, I guess it's happening anyway. You broke my heart. Continue.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "You're tracking us? We're mad at you, Abed. Why? Because we already live in a totalitarian surveillance state. Do you not read my status updates?", "c": ["Britta", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I was trying to get it back. They're expensive. And he's not moving anymore.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I invented an entire language, you fliztbarping gitzgorg.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I noticed whenever you were in a relationship, you hummed a lot and made pancakes in the morning. It wasn't about hurting you. I did what I did in the name of breakfast.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "You're Olympic pole-vaulting hopeful Brent Underjaw?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Britta's the one that invited Garrett to Annie's birthday party! Troy won't sit on a toilet seat after Jeff! When we're alone, Shirley refers to you guys as 'those people.' When Annie's with other females, dude, she calls Jeff her uncle!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I didn't just masturbate in the study room. I masturbated everywhere. Everywhere!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I didn't just masturbate in the study room. I masturbated everywhere. Everywhere!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Pierce admitted he was flawed, and he died rich.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I'm Jeff Winger, and if I had my choice, I would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I'm the one who hit Jeff's Lexus in the parking lot. It wasn't a taco truck, and it was racist of me to improvise such an ethnically specific vehicle.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I've never been to Legoland. I just wanted you guys to think I was cool.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I can be passive-aggressive sometimes. Don't everybody disagree at once. Oh, Lord, I did it again.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "When any of you chew gum, I want to punch you. You may as well have submachine guns in your mouths. It vibrates my skull.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "I also leave you this liquid nitrogen cooled cylinder of my hyper-virile sperm in case your lesbian lifestyle one day wears out and you wish to raise an army of geniuses.", "c": ["Stone"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "It's the same tiara I used to wear when my mother would verbally assault me for not being a little girl.", "c": ["Stone"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "To you, I leave this bottle of fine scotch so that you're less tempted to drink this cylinder of even finer sperm.", "c": ["Stone"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "To you, I leave this bottle of fine scotch so that you're less tempted to drink this cylinder of even finer sperm.", "c": ["Stone reading Pierce's will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Maybe it's because everyone else got one, and because it's an old man's semen, but, um, I'm kind of disappointed.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Millions of dollars. And being a man or whatever he said.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Cool. Cool, cool, cool. / That's a lie.", "c": ["Abed", "Stone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I can't believe I didn't tell you yet. It was dehydration from filling up all of those cylinders.", "c": ["Stone"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "It was dehydration from filling up all of those cylinders. I mean, it's how I want to go, but, hey, I'm a little nutty.", "c": ["Stone"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Cooperative Polygraphy"}, {"t": "Universal translator demo: 'Cool' translates to 'Bueno' and vice versa", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I should leave all the time", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Britta, do you get kickbacks from big buzzkill?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Oh, announcements! Announcements! Oh, I love these. Whoo! Announcements!", "c": ["Annie", "Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I normally don't condone climbing on furniture, Troy and Abed's friendship has been such a special and magical part of Greendale", "c": ["Dean Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "No coming back as a lava monster", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "The non-awesome often need incentive to do awesome stuff", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Did you say 15 or 50 thousand? Oh, who am I kidding? Help, lava!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I'm not afraid to push a girl into make-believe lava. In fact, it's been my primary strategy", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "We're human beings, not the editors of Teen Vogue", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "This is why the English never win any sports. 'cause everyone else cheats!", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Plastic gold. Four-legged diamonds", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "We can do the inchworm, scootenanny, The reverse Danny Thomas", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "A school that's on 911's blocked caller list", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Your lack of a psych degree", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Mama mahogany, feast your feet on that stack of sticks", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Everyone has one, don't lie", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Locker boys!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "By the Vapors of Magmarath, we will restore it", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "You have gods?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I guess that actually looked the way it did in my head", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "This is just a little something I threw together", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "My same-sex celebrity crush is Nathan Fillion!", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I'll always remember you as kind of slowing us down and complaining a lot", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "My son's getting gay married. The flowers alone, you have no idea", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Then came the now-now times... When the floors were covered with the burny touch", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Where all your dreams come true, If you dream of standing on a table and pissing in a jar", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I did not skip my son's birthday for second place!", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "My name was Vicki! Tell my story!", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I'm actually British!", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Cirque du so long, you high-stepping acro-bastards!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Hey, seat feet! Chair to dance?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Then you just admitted that's where you'll be. That's the same as imagining the floor", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Knock, knock, Britta. I'm not gonna say 'who's there?' because someone on the floor is knocking", "c": ["Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "In a cool way like Keyser Soze or a lame way like Jewel of the Nile?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Who's there, bitch? Floor!", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "\u266a Troy and Abed in a bubble \u266a", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "That's 50,000 lottery tickets!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I had a dream like this, but it was sexual", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Sorry about our butts touching", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I made a game that made you and everyone else see what I see", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "El esta muerto para siempre. Shut up. Callate. What? Que?", "c": ["Troy", "Jeff", "Universal Translator"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Jib-jabbing?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I have all of Abed's abilities and memories, but I'm missing his wild emotionality", "c": ["Clone Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I'm better at sex than Jeff, right? I've yet to have anyone worse", "c": ["Troy", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "All I ever wanted in high school was for Troy Barnes yo notice me, and then I ended up living with you", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I've never stepped foot outside of Colorado. You're becoming much cooler than me by doing this", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "You made a furniture fortress. You're the badass from our study group", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "I had to patch some missing parts of your DNA with genes from a homing pigeon. You may notice side effects, like a compulsion to come back", "c": ["Clone Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Starting a sea voyage from landlocked Colorado may not have been the best idea", "c": ["LeVar Burton"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "Why don't they call it Planet Trek? You never go to a star. Not one episode", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Geothermal Escapism"}, {"t": "We're like House Vagadosh in the HBO original series Bloodlines of Conquest.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "They really get the incest right.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "I don't start watching shows until they're so popular that watching them is no longer a statement.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "So because you're three seasons behind, we have to live in a fantasy world where there's no such thing as dragons?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "How about I just buy all the Bloodlines of Conquest books, read ahead, and spoil the whole series for you? That's insane. That's something an insane person would do.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "I don't start watching shows until they're so popular that watching them is no longer a statement.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "A bulletin board fell down in the cafeteria a couple months ago. Think you can get it hung back up? I'll give it a drive-by.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Brince Ironstone's daughter is his mother!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Can you get me a drill, a couple of screws, and a bulletin board? No, I cannot. Okay, I tried. Bye.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Please fill out this form, but don't talk to me. I can't hear.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Barbagarbagarba garbabarbabarba? That was gibberish. You're good.", "c": ["Britta", "Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Please fill out this form, but don't talk to me. I can't hear.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Chang, your last idea was to murder.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Oh, Professor Pushpin! Jerry, Carlo, Crazy Schmidt. I'm Annie.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "That should happen in three to six business months.", "c": ["Janitor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Lower flag for Reagan's death?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Game on, baby.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Did Mr. Whitney in woodshop make that for you guys?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Flushes like a DC-10 turbine. Probably exceeds code, but what's wrong with a little friendship between departments?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "If I don't break out the fancy sausages, my ass goes in the grinder next January.", "c": ["Bob Waite"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "They want their porn unblocked. Then they'll give you your board.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Welcome to the labyrinth, kid. Only there ain't no puppets or bisexual rock stars down here.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "That's not what it is to people that lose their pets, people that need rides, people whose bad bands need bad bass players.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "To them, every pushpin has the power to change the future.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Bear Down for Midterms.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Fly on the wall is an expression, but if I want to pitch 'Fly on the Wall for Midterms,' you might ask, 'What do you mean?'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Chang? Are you crying?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Are all Asian men like a joke to you? If it's like a racial thing.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "I don't know if you guys even see me as human anymore. I don't know if it's like a joke to you. Are all Asian men like a joke? If it's like a racial thing.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "I want everything to get through that porn blocker. Everything!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "And then we'll have some cakes, party hats, birthday stuff! / I'm sorry, birthday stuff?", "c": ["Chang", "Duncan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "You might want to start talking turkey, Waldron, because the Macy's parade is almost over, and grandma's getting drunk.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "My power comes from a scarcity of parking, just like your dad's comes from a lack of hugs.", "c": ["Parking guy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "You might want to start talking turkey, Waldron, because the Macy's parade is almost over, and grandma's getting drunk.", "c": ["Waldron"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "There was plenty of space to park in dinosaur times, but not one single parking department.", "c": ["Waldron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "just like your dad's comes from a lack of hugs.", "c": ["Waldron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "well, gobble gobble.", "c": ["Waldron"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Too soon, you guys. This is way too soon. After this morning in Wisconsin? Bear breaks loose at a kid's birthday party, mauls a whole bunch of people?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Bear breaks loose at a kid's birthday party, mauls a whole bunch of people?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "That where I got the idea. You know how sometimes you hear something and forget you heard it, but you think you came up with...", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "I'm not signing this form until Professor Hickey says 'Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.'", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "You whored yourself out, kid. You wanted that board so bad that you made every board on campus worthless, and in doing so made the school just a shade dirtier.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Oh, man. This got Sorkin-y.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Fat Dog for Midterms.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Like, don't sweat it, fat dog it. Hang out, relax, like a fat dog. Bah!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "You can look it up on Wikipedia. There's an entry in there.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Fat Dog for Midterms", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Just pick an idea and bear down on it. / Um, really poor choice of words, Ben... Too soon.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "You learned a lesson, and I gave a differently abled person a job.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "\u266a There's a brand-new dance based on an old phrase \u266a \u266a It's called the fat dog, and it will amaze \u266a \u266a You've heard this expression your entire life \u266a \u266a It's not made up, it's not made up \u266a", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "\u266a You've heard this expression your entire life / It's not made up, it's not made up \u266a", "c": ["Singer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "It's a bear dance!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Confirmed. Arcadia initiated. What's your clearance level? Top. You really want to activate this, sir? Yeah. Oh! No. No! Can you... Cancel it.", "c": ["Chang", "Voice"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Confirmed. Arcadia initiated.", "c": ["Phone System"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking"}, {"t": "Well, get ready to stop.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Have you met the women that do like me, Jeff? Neither have I, but trust me, they're bad people.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "They shouldn't have redesigned that costume. Keep your heads in the sand if you want.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Well, it's starving children with cleft palates, Britta. What part would you have me be disinterested in?", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Kids with cleft palates should have extra food, not less. I'm in.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Yeah, should we write a check to the Jeff Foundation?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Well, the ants were people. The Queen Ant was an oil company.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Okay, so it was about our marginalized perceptions as drones being born into a corporate hive-mind?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Uh, my mother used to tell a story about how she killed a chicken. Hong Kong, 1964.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "I don't like this 'my-kale' guy. I don't think he likes himself, or he'd pronounce it 'Michael.'", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "She's everything I love about America. Bold, opinionated, just past her peak, and starting to realize that she has to settle for less.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "She is the bravest, most passionate activist I have ever had the honor of imitating.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Oh. Wow, um, I'm not a hero. I'm a high school dropout and a bartender, so don't listen to me. Or anyone. Just listen to yourself, and make sure you tell yourself the truth.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "I like to drink. Yeah. I have a serious problem. That had better be true.", "c": ["Duncan", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Cool. Cool, cool, cool.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "I am Kickpuncher. You are in violation of future law. Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Annie banned glue guns from the apartment after an incident so hilarious that even describing it would narratively eclipse what's happening here.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "I would raise goats, hoard cinnamon, and travel only at night.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Something nobody ever does. Teaching you consequences.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "And what 'kicky-punch' movie is that from? The ones you've seen or the one I'm gonna watch you miss?", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "For five years, I have watched people walk around on your eggshells. 'Oh, Abed. He's so imaginative, so magical. Everybody hide their hamburgers! If Abed sees a hamburger, we'll all travel in time. Let's eat cookies and ice cream and dress in pajamas in the middle of the day.'", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "I watched my third wife die!", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "You're not the Marco Polo of bullying me. You're just another tourist taking pictures of a great, big wall.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Looked like you were doodling chickens. He is a duck!", "c": ["Hickey", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "We haven't had a single person or performance in that theater since the 1997 fire. 24 people died.", "c": ["Janitor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "I hated Reese's pieces before E.T. ate them, sorry.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "And now, you're going to go pull a Dane Cook in one of those three movies he was in about Dane Cook getting laid by accident. Only it's not a Dane Cook movie, Jeff, because this time, someone's watching: me. Your friend, British Jason Biggs.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, no! Stop that! You're ghosts! We're ghosts?", "c": ["Chang", "Others"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "And you just believed 'em? You just believed a bunch of ghosts?", "c": ["Janitor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "We should make it say that! Who's got the spray paint? No, guys, I'm serious! Doug and Janet, you're on lookout. Michael works the ladder. I will banksy that mother!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Oh, so the person with the least wealth has the least valid argument? That's convenient.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "You're a bad person and a bad cartoonist. / You go ahead. Hurt my feelings. / Oh! You have feelings, huh?", "c": ["Abed", "Hickey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Your cartoons are monuments to joylessness, nervously assembled jokes based on nothing from your life or anyone's life! You're furious at me for being creative because you want to be able to create.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Jim the Duck? Publishers are interested! Oh! Yeah, well, publishers are stupid. Either that or you're misinterpreting what was probably a form letter.", "c": ["Abed", "Hickey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "In the words of your hacky duck, 'What the hell?'", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Do you know Rimples and Splikket? They were the British Laurel and Hardy. Most of their stuff is timeless, but you do need to know that the prime minister went to Oxford, not Cambridge, as the sketch implies.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "I've been defining myself with reactions to and from other people my whole life. Now I feel worthless just because I'm worthless in relation to my friends, which means they're not my friends.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "I've been defining myself with reactions to and from other people my whole life. Now I feel worthless just because I'm worthless in relation to my friends, which means they're not my friends.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "And please don't take offense at this, but thank you for not hitting on me. I was just vulnerable enough to do something really stupid. What's wrong? Nothing. Nothing. It's nothing. It's the... the stupid steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car.", "c": ["Britta", "Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "It's the... the stupid steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Wait, the character's name is 'Police Justice'? Yeah, I think I may be able to help.", "c": ["Hickey", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Or maybe I just realized that I was spending the whole night getting to third base with the wrong person. You're a good friend, and I don't say that often enough. That's really nice. But you can't have sex with me.", "c": ["Jeff", "Duncan"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "But you can't have sex with me. / How about we have these drinks and then not have sex, with anyone, together?", "c": ["Jeff", "Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Millimeter don't make no difference. Bullets just kinda kill you. / 'Bullets just kinda kill you.' Are you quoting something? Can I use that?", "c": ["Hickey", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Do you guys believe in ghosts? And if you do, do you believe what those ghosts tell you about other ghosts?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "Well, the ants were people. The Queen Ant was an oil company.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "What if I don't exist? Oh, I got this. I had a very similar night last night. Go home, light some candles, and take a bath. Okay, coolsies.", "c": ["Chang", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "I-I just don't like being left behind! My father got drunk in pubs and left me in my room with nothing! So did mine! Oh, why would he do that? Why do they do that? Why?", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality"}, {"t": "You don't like my face?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Look what Facebook did for Harvard.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "MeowMeowBeenz", "c": ["David", "Bixel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "That's why I'm gonna give him two out of five MeowMeowBeenz", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "My MeowMeowBeenz", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I should go number two soon", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "It's like toast bossing crackers around", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "There was a rating system in place called 'cool people get more'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I've never felt more alive", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "As long as you're happy, I'm unsettled", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I noticed limping was getting MeowMeowBeenz...so I just kind of started committing", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Did you understand a word he said?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "MeowMeowBeenz is gonna make East Berlin look like Woodstock", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Do you own stock in Trivial Pursuit's Baby Boom Edition?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Say 'Hitler' and I'm giving you a two", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "You're learning its language", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "There is no formula for people!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "You're punishing me for being alive!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "you were getting through more...with mustard on your lip", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Maybe it dilutes or distracts from your stupid butt", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I love my four from Vicki", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I know that's your one talking", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I'm gonna become a five and expose this for the sham it is", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Two cups, balls back, tops off", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Trent, Mulch, Dave...Herpie, Clutch, Dirt Mouth, Rope, Tingles, Cat Woman, Steve", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "keep it floppy. Haul it, ball it, never call it", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I feel like someone's about to hand me a Starburst", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I make small talk now", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "you'll be watching my hinder, Mama...and choking on its billowing plume of highly rated dust", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "All I know is that it's my birthday", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Hey, it's Koogler. You know, he's cool. He likes to get laid. He's not that old", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be a five. I was happy as a three. I'm miserable", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Oh, dear Abed. So humble", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "You people are monsters", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Two? Are you lost, Two?", "c": ["Five"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Can you put some mustard...? I shouldn't have to put mustard on my face for this to make sense", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "You know, I once loved a two", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Fives have lives, fours have chores, threes have fleas, twos have blues...and ones don't get a rhyme because they're garbage", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "What is with twos and apples? You're given three kinds of fruit. Mix it up", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "And they got a little trail of twos behind them...and they're like, 'Hey, is there an apple up there?'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "All I know is...I sure do love them apples!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Oh, the Koog approogs. That's a five", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I want my future kids to know this happened", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I admire your optimism, Garrett", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I'm a security guard. Weapons are my weapons", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Do you wanna have this conversation, or just keep flexing your veiny arms...and throwing out apples?", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Look at the mustard on my face, but listen to my words", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Long live the review-lution!", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Britta, the Mother of Ones", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "trust me, my penis needs no enlargement", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "By the way, guys, it's a Saturday. You're all in school for nothing. Go home and get some sleep", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna take it off. I still got two days left on the rental", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Hope you don't mind if I play through", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "I'm photocopying my rear end", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "App Development and Condiments"}, {"t": "Nobody picks up on my patterns. What am I gonna say next? Graham cracker. You didn't know.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Between a Thighmaster and a Dick Tracy Burger King glass.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "I guess I should learn your name, lady.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Been dating for one of your months. Our relationship is 12 times more efficient, so a year.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Sleep cycles are in sync, communicate with eyebrows. She knows my Netflix password. Jeff's password.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Well, I'm a peanut bar And I'm here to say / Your cheques will arrive On another day", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Barack Obama is scared of me / 'Cause I don't swallow knowledge And I spit it for free", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "I don't know what that was, I don't. I don't know what that was.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Door's busted. Landlord's in jail and money's tight.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "My concern would be he's a Viking, might only use our home as a temporary base before moving inland.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Is it cool if I poop?", "c": ["Anthony"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "No, Anthony. Just cut the carrots. / I don't think you heard his question. The answer is yes.", "c": ["Troy", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Can't microwave a relationship like a burrito.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Ain't living with your 'keep cutting carrots or ask if he can poop' brother.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "I guess it was just air.", "c": ["Anthony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Why the hell do you have all those muscles if you're gonna bitch about moving boxes?", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "I'm sweating like a Catholic on Judgement Day. A little Protestant humour. Got more.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "You realise nothing good has ever been found in a vent, right? It's a vent.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Why is there hot sauce in the bathroom? It's Greendale.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "It's 'from whom,' 'by whom.' But he nailed the third question.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Think that money's gonna be used to cut our pay cheques or to make another rapping peanut costume?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Ms. Bennett, when God talks to you, what language does he use?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "We're gonna move these to my restaurant, sit on them until we know they're cold. Price them through a third party and unload them in a single score.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "When we were kids, Anthony and I would play Time Machine. We would go, 'Oh, no. We're in barbarian times. Quick. Back to the time machine.' And then we would run back to the time machine.", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "I can't accept that based on one story.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "This a real conversation or are we bugged by the feds?", "c": ["Anthony"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Coins create parallel timelines. / That's a nine-sided coin.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "You or Anthony win, I'll surrender, count down days until he eats me.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "I know that because it smells like weed. Not my weed.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "I didn't see anything. I did not see anything.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Draw! / I bid. / Rattler. / Bang five. / Bang? / Bang-bang five.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Sure this is a game and not some art film?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Rachel, is this your home?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "I stole all these books and put them in this room so I could come kiss them.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "I don't really know how girlfriends work, but I don't think you have one anymore.", "c": ["Anthony"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "What's supposed to stop her from robbing you guys blind? What are you gonna do, call the cops?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "What? No. Unresolved issues involving the black guy in all these photographs.", "c": ["Anthony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Twenty non-thousand dollars. Regular dollars.", "c": ["Buyer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Well, I can't because there's no page numbers. / Well, that would be a problem. You know, 'Class, turn to page...' 'There is no page.' 'Oh, well, if there's no page number, you can't turn to it, so...'", "c": ["Buyer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Troy was an important part of our apartment. He kept the peace. Going a little crazy without him.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Don't step, don't step to me / I like coffee and water Don't step to me", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "These VCR games is where everything is headed. / Can't you see that? You just became the Luke Skywalker of the new Star Wars.", "c": ["Woman in coda"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "What kind of company offers 'stock options' as a Christmas bonus?", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Sweetie, remember when we were talking about trying cocaine? I think we should start looking for some right now.", "c": ["Mother"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing"}, {"t": "Oh, too cool for street insurance? Must be nice.", "c": ["Unknown Committee Member"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "No, that's Furio, my gay son. Him, I get.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I'm sensing an emergency collage situation.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "'Dungeons and Dragons'? - That's the crap.", "c": ["Hickey", "Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Was everyone's takeaway last time that we use D&D to reprogram brains? Not that we almost caused a suicide?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "And thanks to us, he's still out there, doing this and that in the background.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Satisfying sequel's difficult. Many geniuses defeated themselves through hubris. Making this a chance to prove I'm better. I'm in!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Dungeons. It'd be the dungeons.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Oh, that's just what I love about role-playing games is being told exactly what to do.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Joseph Gordon Diehard. Really? Son of Sir Riggs Diehard. Well, I'm Sir Riggs Diehard, so I guess I'm your dad in the game too.", "c": ["Hank", "Hickey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Oh, boy. Guys, I don't suppose this is some contrived paint-by-numbers adventure that's designed to force an emotional bond between me and my emotionally stunted father, is it?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I'm a holy cleric with a mace and a dumb name.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I'm Tiny Nuggins, a thief, and the rest is gibberish.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "You think that's a weird coincidence? I'm a troll named Dingleberry.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "That's my mom's nickname for me.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "\"for we believe man's greatest weapon against evil...is the bond...Is the bond between father and son.\"", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I walk too far south, do I fall off your graph paper there?", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "No. It's not a competition. The only winner is fun. We're having fun.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I go to Tristram, and I'm laughing and I pick him up, and I carry him to the bridge. It's fun.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "His body becomes wreathed in white hot flame, burning Hector for...Six damage.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Would've been constructed in the third age by goblins. They used primitive iron anchors.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "He's not your grandson. He's my son. And I didn't invite you to the birthday party because I wanted to enjoy it.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "We're not going to continue. Thank you very much, guys. This was just awesome.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "If I kill the necrophile before you do I come to my grandson's birthday.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Well, I'm assuming you guys can help me beat him...because if we lose, I'm gonna punch each of you in the heart.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Hey, I didn't scamper in the jungles of Nicaragua and I won't do it now.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Larger, stronger, and worth more in Scrabble than regular goblins.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "There are no women with them, are there? I got class.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Go find a name that's not just another creature's name plus 'hob.'", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "And I may be gone, but just remember whenever the wind whispers through the woods you got me killed.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I've punched about a thousand hearts in my life. I never, never missed.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I take a moment of silence to mourn my fallen comrade, Crouton before rifling through her belongings.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Times Square?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Back, eight-legged demons! I will not scoop you up with a catalogue and let you outside on this day!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Plus, they eat all the sky mosquitoes.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Hello. You're looking well.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Damn, you made that Sky Spider your bitch, yo!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I was best man at that guy's wedding.", "c": ["Goblin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I was best man at that guy's wedding... Your friend says you just got married. Congratulations. Too bad about the food.", "c": ["Annie", "Goblin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Come on, between you and me, which one do you think is yours?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Each night, I will think of you and rub...praying for the night fate will find us rubbing together.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Each night, I will think of you and rub praying for the night fate will find us rubbing together.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I got a piece of popcorn stuck in my tooth. Like, right under the gum. I've been trying like for 15 minutes with, you know, my tooth and then with my tongue and my finger. I'm always one tooth off, and I just can't seem to... Oh, hello, there we go. Anyway... But it may end in war.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "This is a man who thinks of grandchildren like trophies. Which is why he'll play to win. And why I can't let him.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "because every man has the right to hang out with his grandson.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I hug my father! - It's a trick! - I'm not letting him hug me. - I hug my father! - He has gunpowder in his pants.", "c": ["Hank", "Hickey", "Others"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Worth it.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I owe you nothing. I am a Dungeon Master. I create a boundless world, and I bind it by rules. Too heavy for a bridge? It breaks. Get hit? Take damage. Spend an hour outside someone's front door fighting over who gets to kill him? He leaves through the back.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I owe you nothing. I am a Dungeon Master. I create a boundless world, and I bind it by rules.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Hey, guys. Take it from a bunch of ghosts. This is no kind of life. You need fresh air and frozen yogurt. It's on me. Hug it out.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "I also don't think they can handle being apart. And I think they just found a way to avoid doing either.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "And that's the best most fathers and sons can do.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Oh, a goblin notices you and murders you all. You're dead. They're all yours.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"}, {"t": "Um, excuse me, sir. Why is Cobra attacking a tourist attraction with zero tactical value, and with all due respect to India, why are we defending it?", "c": ["Tightship"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Which will clearly happen any day now, as long as your [Bleep] stay on full display.", "c": ["Commander"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "No, you can't have ice cream for lunch. Put your brother on the phone.", "c": ["Three Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Oh, screw you, Flint. I'm in a battle called having three kids.", "c": ["Three Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "What? What, we're... we're not saying it together?", "c": ["Wingman"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Look, I think I'm over-explaining it. The bad guys are snakes, and the good guys are army people.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Look, I understand this is the first time a G.I. Joe has killed anyone in all of recorded history.", "c": ["Wingman"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "We're all just dressed like serial killers and strippers.", "c": ["Tightship"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "And won't this war therefore last forever unless we finish killing Cobra or start killing ourselves?", "c": ["Wingman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Deep Dish, Shark Arms, Weird Head, Home Free, Place Holder, Sleep Apnea, and us!", "c": ["Fourth Wall"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "My name is Fourth Wall. And I believe that what we perceive as life is actually a syndicated children's cartoon.", "c": ["Fourth Wall"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "If this were a cartoon, there'd be a word for 'cartoon' in our language, which there isn't.", "c": ["Three Kids"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "There'd also be less movement, less detail, and constant lip-sync mistakes.", "c": ["Three Kids"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "What if I told you there was more, a higher reality, with more than 65 colors and at least three dimensions?", "c": ["Fourth Wall"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "code name: Greendale.", "c": ["Fourth Wall"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "The toy was more real than this at Greendale.", "c": ["Fourth Wall"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "We are in a toy commercial! I can't hear you when you're covered in rocks.", "c": ["Wingman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "All other figures and vehicles sold separately.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Jeff, can you hear us? It's Annie.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Look, I'm not good at eulogies because I've never had to give one. All I want to know is, how did G.I. Joe do this? We've been shooting at each other and missing for 20 years.", "c": ["Cobra Commander"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Okay, fine. I loved him! Is that what you want to hear?", "c": ["Cobra Commander"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Called it.", "c": ["Background Cobra"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "and G.I. Joe is going to pay-bra! I riffed that. No wrong answers.", "c": ["Cobra Commander"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "I riffed that. No wrong answers.", "c": ["Cobra Commander"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "It's a condition that comes on when you get to a certain weight.", "c": ["Tightship"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "For 15 years, I have used my trademark tablespoon to excavate a tunnel, swallowing handfuls of dirt and rock with my meals and listening only to Smashmouth in order to justify this poster.", "c": ["Deep Dish"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry. Oh, God. Oh, man. Oh, darn it.", "c": ["Three Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Shut up, Fourth Wall, and get into the new G.I. Joe submachopter with twin rocket launchers and rotating attack jet.", "c": ["Three Kids"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Doesn't this guy also do the voice for He-man commercials?", "c": ["Fourth Wall"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Everything is sold separately. Assembly required. Nothing is happening.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "She broke the detector. That's a federal crime. I keep having these visions. Kids, little boys... Uh, are these visions we should share with the authorities?", "c": ["Tightship", "Fourth Wall"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "What do you mean, 'you people'? Oh! Nice.", "c": ["Buzzkill", "Three Kids"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "That is a request for hazard pay. Maybe you haven't heard, but we can actually die now.", "c": ["Major Dick"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "But which me is the real me? Probably the one in the middle. The middle, right?", "c": ["Overkill"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "I, Ximxam, have a twin brother named Mixmax that feels all my pain. And how is that supposed to affect us? Psychologically?", "c": ["Ximxam", "Wingman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Britta? What kind of lame name is that? I wanna be Buzzkill because of my awesome saw.", "c": ["Britta/Buzzkill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "I drank a fifth of scotch. And I took some pills. No, they were these stupid youth pills that I bought in Koreatown.", "c": ["Jeff/Wingman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "I've been lying about my age. Yeah, it's not something I'm really ready to deal with.", "c": ["Jeff/Wingman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Look at the rack I gave you. Those are gonna stay right where they are for an eternity. You're welcome.", "c": ["Jeff/Wingman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Yo, Jobra! We talked it over and realized that since none of us can kill each other, we might as well team up.", "c": ["Cobra Commander"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "I am Neo in the third act of the Matrix. I'm also Neo in the first act of the second Matrix. I didn't get around to seeing the third one, but my guess is...", "c": ["Jeff/Wingman"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "You're pretty selective with those snake 'S's. What are you, my life coach?", "c": ["Jeff/Wingman", "Cobra Commander"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "You look like some Aryan foosball figure.", "c": ["Jeff/Wingman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "What do boobies look like? Wait. You don't know? You guys have never seen a naked woman?", "c": ["Cobra soldiers", "Jeff/Wingman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Take me with you! I want to see women's boobs!", "c": ["G.I. Joe character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Why does my back hurt? Why do I just have random pains in my body? Why is my ability to appreciate new music diminishing?", "c": ["Fourth Wall"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "Everyone dies eventually. Nobody gets out alive.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "I'm 40. Yeah, we knew that. You know, I guess we knew that you had to be around 30 when we met. Yeah, and it has been five years.", "c": ["Jeff", "Study Group"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "You guys know I'm 38, right? What? I'm kidding.", "c": ["Shirley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "'It's a old boy.' Yes. He is a old boy. He's a old boy.", "c": ["Study Group"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "A good syndicated cartoon has a lesson at the end. But getting heavy-handed or preachy could turn an entire generation into jaded, sarcastic babies.", "c": ["Fourth Wall"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "And knowing is half the battle. What?", "c": ["Fourth Wall"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "G.I. Jeff"}, {"t": "The hell was that? - What was what? Long, quiet lull. Don't like it. It's called contentment.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "I commented on his commentary. I just drew a circle around Abed, baby.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "I don't think it's nice to pigeonhole people's gimmicks.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "You hear me, Two-Voice?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Attention, students and faculty of Greendale. I pressed this button on accident... but might as well check in. How are you?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "The information you've requested... Is on the Internet.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Your ass is getting appraised, insurance-style.", "c": ["School Board Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.91, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Are you guys drunk? - Good luck proving it before we're not.", "c": ["Jeff", "School Board Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Pa-pa-papaya. Mango. Strawberry. - Too ripe.", "c": ["Troy", "Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "It's 3 dollars. What are you playing? That's control software for some kind of irrigation equipment.", "c": ["Abed", "Troy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Call to adventure. Call to adventure.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Something that sounds normal and boring but is scary. Like a raised mole or a turkey deep fryer.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Only one man qualified to appraise insurance... and he died 2000 years ago on a cross.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "I've seen insurance appraisers bleed. Their blood's different, darker.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "You're like Hurricane Katrina dogs that won't let anyone pet them anymore.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "I wrote a paper on those dogs.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "There is no story. - Everything's a story, Jeff.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Is this a wedding ring? - Are you kidding? What...?", "c": ["Hickey", "Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "It's my mom's. I started wearing it because... I don't know, everybody dreams of settling down, right? And because it fits. She had huge fingers for a woman. Part of what killed her, really.", "c": ["Hickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "This is going to be the most boring thing to happen here... since Britta dated Troy.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Wait. If there's no story, what am I explaining? I'm in a story.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Hi, my name is Ronald Mohammed. Go ahead, heard them all.", "c": ["Ronald Mohammed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "But the city defines a dog... as any living entity with four legs and a tail. So raccoons, bears... mountain lions, mice, these are all just different sizes of dog.", "c": ["Ronald Mohammed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "You got something in your teeth. - You got something in your chest. Four hundred thousand gallons of liquefied horse meat.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "And you shall find that salt is the taste of another man's bread... and hard is the way up and down another man's stairs. Dante.", "c": ["Ronald Mohammed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Me with a beard? Keep fighting the story. Keep fighting it until it falls apart. I'm right. I mean, I'm wrong. I mean, I'm right. I mean, I'm wrong.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Unsubscribe.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "For the final stage of my appraisal... I'm gonna randomly select one of your vending machines... to see if it can be rocked using human strength... enough to tip and crush me.", "c": ["Ronald Mohammed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Hey, look. It's Ronald Mohammed. How about that name?", "c": ["School Board Member"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Maybe we're not as smart as you. I mean, we only went to Yale.", "c": ["School Board Member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "We should call T.J.Maxx right away. - Dude, I told you. This jacket looks fine. - No, to talk about selling this place.", "c": ["School Board Members"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Oh, Richie, you're my friend, but that is the last thing you need. - Tough love received, bro.", "c": ["School Board Members"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Let me be one of the six this year.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "If I come over there... there are gonna be two sounds: me hitting you twice.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Okay, okay, I should've written this out. I thought I'd be able to come up with something on the fly.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "The reason I have 48 followers is that I don't exploit them. They come to me for atheistic rants and photos of my meals... not this obnoxiousness.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Just ask Chris Brown or China.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Treasure. Buried treasure.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Screw you, guys. It's time to get paid.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Chang just unexpectedly betrayed the group for the last time.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "You just said you were proud of it. - Proud of its potential. Love its potential.", "c": ["Subway Rep", "School Board Member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Subway doesn't call its bread 'buns,' and we don't serve white. We serve Italian, honey oat... nine-grain wheat. - Thanks for making my joke accurate. Now it's hilarious.", "c": ["Subway Rep", "Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Wait. You don't call your bread 'buns.' What do you call them? - Bread. - Bread is a substance. What do you call the units of bread you use, 'breads'?", "c": ["Annie", "Subway Rep"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "I got one of these label things. I mean, it makes custom labels. This was gonna help me get organised.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "And that's Russell Borchert. - Borchert, Borchert, loved computers... Yes, yes, 'More than women's butts or hooters.' Very mature, you two.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "By the way, he was a millionaire and a genius. He has sex with one computer, and that's his legacy?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Think you could make the transition to teaching Sandwich Law? - It's essentially the same, I'm sure, just a bit more focused.", "c": ["Subway Rep", "Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "That's a Subway black card. It entitles you to 5-dollar footlongs for life. For life, Mr. Winger. For life.", "c": ["Subway Rep"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "They're part of the adulthood-begins-at-30 generation.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Amen. And to think this all started because you wanted to... - Nail you. - Yeah, I regret nothing.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "what did either of us really get done aside from each other?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "I should go clean out my locker, she said at the age of 33.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Get a house we can't afford, a dog that makes us angry. Dedicate an entire cabinet to grocery bags... realise we have a favourite brand of olive oil?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Medium roughness, high tempo? - Let's make it a number eight.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Buried treasure! Lock the doors, close the blinds.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Scunthorpe? I was stationed around Scunthorpe. - No. - Oh, wait, wait.", "c": ["Hickey", "Duncan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "O'er the lady's smocks I tarry Through the hollyhocks and glen For a piss and a thrush In Scunthorpe - Then it's off to Henningpen", "c": ["Hickey", "Duncan"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "I lost my virginity at Stainsbury's. - My mother was a Stainsbury whore.", "c": ["Hickey", "Duncan"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "Mine was missing a thumb. - Oh, my God. - Two thumbs, she got both. - Two thumbs.", "c": ["Duncan", "Hickey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "I mean, you may have slept with my aunt... but given the circumstances, cheers.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Basic Story"}, {"t": "He apparently used nothing but gold to assemble his circuitry...believing it to be a better conductor of human emotion.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "It was a weird time. The Bionic Woman won an Emmy.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Those people were on LSD.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Except our story tracks logically. - And we're not talking over each other.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Everyone talks at the same time. Sorry. - Can you stop?", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "The entire school is shaped like a penis.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 4.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "What the hell does your penis look like? Obviously a cluster of buildings.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Let's have a laugh at the freak.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Check it out. Look at the bottle held by the school's first...and least acceptable mascot, Big Chief Drunky.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "The sparks may be spelling out the next clue.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "It's pronounced 'aluminium.' See, he's fine.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Oh, look, it's Jeff Winger, fun police...here to pull over our smiles...because our mouths have tinted windows.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Married? Well, you're gonna need way more doves than this.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "What does this look like, an hour-long episode of The Office?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Who's got rope? - I'm offended by that question.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Well, it's never the first one...so we can cancel this one out. - Come on. I guess now this is the first one, so it should be the next one.", "c": ["Richie", "Carl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I've been drinking.", "c": ["Richie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Oh, hello. Would you like some tea? The tea is swell.", "c": ["Russell Borchert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Do you think they can hea...? I think that... Oh, come on. You know it's just as loud as...", "c": ["Richie", "Carl"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "The debate team topic is: 'Who's hotter, Elliott Gould or Donald Sutherland?' - Donald Sutherland. - Donald Sutherland.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "If it's like a regular dungeon, it's only as dangerous...as whoever invited you.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Won't know them from ordinary robots until they kill us.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "This decade's out of my wheelhouse. Pet Rock, leave no Pet Rock unturned.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "You're that insecure that your light has to be better? - Shut up. - You shut up.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Don't cry. The importance of lumbar support hadn't... It's not that.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "But I know TV. When characters feel the show they're on is ending...their instinct is to spin off into something safer.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "In Jeff and Britta's case...something that'd last six episodes, have bickering...starring them and an equally WASP-y couple...with a title like 'Better With My Worse Half' or 'Tying the Not.'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "'Knot' is spelled without a K. Or #CouplePeopleProblems.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "This is our show, and it's not over.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "I have a girlfriend. - What? - You were about to start a kiss lean. - I was not.", "c": ["Abed", "Annie", "Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "We've searched every crevice of this place...and the only treasures we've found are this CB radio...these basketball cards with white people on them...and this little rocket launcher from some action figure.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Right. Because 127 in binary code would be a palindrome.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Because the song title is 'Open the Door' by the Secret Doors.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm gonna peel off some Band-Aids here. Dennis Hopper is dead. TV shows give no time for theme songs anymore. And Woody Allen did the voice of a cartoon ant.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Sorry, I lose track of how big I'm getting.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "I don't.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Hot Lava. - That was Hot Lava? Dumb.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "You're special, Richie. Your mind is special. You know it works differently from other kids' minds.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "They climbed out to the roof, hopped on a hang glider...and flew it across town to that Greek restaurant. Papa Cristo's?", "c": ["Richie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "I robbed your brain. I robbed it.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Was there a hang glider? - You're gonna find a hang glider down there. That much I know.", "c": ["Carl", "Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "The '80s happened down here too.", "c": ["Russell Borchert"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "I don't think it's worth much. Those are Gerald Ford dollars.", "c": ["Russell Borchert"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Back in the '70s, that was worth millions.", "c": ["Russell Borchert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Get back. This pickle's a magnet. - I'll wipe her out, man.", "c": ["Chang", "Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Wait, I'm not wearing a mask? - There's no more to it. I think I'm just mentally ill.", "c": ["Chang", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Right there. That was it, that was it. Did you see it?", "c": ["Russell Borchert"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "And what's that? - An emoticon. That person wants to indicate happiness...but can't convey it with language, so they misuse punctuation to form a smile.", "c": ["Russell Borchert", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "That is so... - Stupid. Only an idiot would think of this. Idiots won!", "c": ["Russell Borchert", "Russell Borchert"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "But that's only if somebody in this room...has feelings stronger than I get when I rub my nipples...so good luck with that, folks.", "c": ["Russell Borchert"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "I understand there's some Internet...where I can make my inner thoughts public.", "c": ["Russell Borchert"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "We are but simple sandwich artists...who want the world to eat fresh. - Eat fresh!", "c": ["Subway Rep", "All Subway Reps"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, around here, we call that Wednesday.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Doesn't electrocuted technically mean killed? - You always have to correct people? - You always have to police correcting?", "c": ["Duncan", "Unknown", "Duncan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "I was thinking about a hang glider.", "c": ["Richie"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "None of this conflict truly matters. The only owners of this land are the Arapaho.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Hi, yes, I'd like to replace all my teeth with diamonds.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "We'll definitely be back next year. If not, it'll be because an asteroid has destroyed all human civilisation...and that's canon.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Depends on what fails.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Basic Sandwich"}, {"t": "Jeff Winger, a teacher so dedicated to clean energy, he's already parking like his car is electric.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Britta Perry, currently raising awareness of homelessness, not that she has a choice.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Abed Nadir, who actually wrote this announcement for the sake of, as he put it, catching everyone up.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "534?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Like tears in rain.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "What?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "We almost killed Fat Neil. That was Garrett.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I have been reliving this day over and over for a thousand years.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Abed's not comfortable with C-H-A-N-G-E. Hey, screw you. I can spell.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Did she spin off? Nobody spins off in real life, Abed.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Shirley went to look after her dad in Atlanta and ended up taking a job as a personal chef to a brilliant, but troubled Southern detective.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Are any of you white people noticing what's happening to this group? Do Abed and I need to be concerned?", "c": ["Troy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "You have my word, as leader of the white people there's no cause for alarm.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Say hello to new Shirley. Just kidding.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "She is, woop! I'm getting a call, here, and I'll have to take it.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "My phone is vibrating, but it is in your office, which you didn't realize, when you started the fake phone call move.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "My phone is in my pocket, Jeffrey.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Our friend used to sit there. She spun off.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "In marketing, it's what we call the Good Belushi.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Magic Wand class that I noticed is actually offered here, as well as VCR Repair, a class called Ladders, and When is it Okay to Shake a Baby?", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Who in the crazy bitch? Did that just happen?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "To be fair, she's an additional white person, which has clearly become important here.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I just assume your name is Tony. Here you go. I gave you some extra heat.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "My dignity.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Seems like this sandwich counter is consuming your happiness and converting it into burnt bread and debt.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Seems like this sandwich counter is consuming your happiness and converting it into burnt bread and debt.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Well, I can't teach with free flowing sobriety.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Done, done, deloused. Appraised, defused, rebuilt. De-peanut buttered, debunked, spayed, neutered. Underway, resanctified, plunged, deported and exhumed.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I'm gonna name one of my sandwiches after her. My sandwiches suck.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Yeah, but how much can you improve Greendale before it stops being Greendale?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Temporal mutation in English, Doc.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Simply put Mr. President, in 12 hours these dinosaurs will become- Time-asaurs.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I'm worried you're not distinct enough for Manny both in terms of physicality and purpose.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "My umbrella concern is that you, as a character, represent the end of what I used to call our show", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Where's that Pierce hologram? Jeff said last year he saw a Pierce hologram. None of the rest of us have ever seen it.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Where's that Pierce hologram? Jeff said last year he saw a Pierce hologram. None of the rest of us have ever seen it.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I come from a big family of people who are literally insane. I moved down here to take care of one of them.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "You're the first person to say that that I didn't immediately delete from my brain.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Friends, dumb hats. Totally talking down to you. She hates you. I got it from Jared.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Are you the big chilling? Yeah, only there's not a hippie that died to make us come together and complain.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "She called Annie a bitch. She implied I was a bitch. She implied Annie was a stuck up bitch who thinks she's better than everyone.", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Yup, I learned to pick up on that one.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Yup, I learned to pick up on that one.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I second Britta's motion, not movement.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I third Annie's number two-ing of the movement Brita made. Gross.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Nobody's ever doing what you usually do Abed. You're nuts. Huh. In a good way.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "No. Those are secret committee pretzels.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Yes, that was a test. You guys are bad friends.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Don't think of it as bad baking. Think of it as a crushing blow to a gender stereotype.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Britta, it might help if every burnt sandwich didn't come with a self-aware burnt sandwich bit.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "If I have to start drinking in the men's room, the score in my head has to change from Trent Reznor to Johnny Cash doing Trent Reznor.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "You're human garbage. Don't patronize me Dick.", "c": ["Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "You snitch, you die.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "So, we broke up as friends.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I think you scare people, because you live in the real world instead of up your butt.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Pokemons. Leprechauns. You guys ever hear of The Slender Man? You guys on Reddit, 4Chan? Cuz it's awesome.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Pokemons. Leprechauns. You guys ever hear of The Slender Man? You guys on Reddit, 4Chan? Cuz it's awesome.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I can't picture a montage cutting from me verifying Diane's invoice to me emailing confirmation to Diane.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "It's a movie apologizing for reality. And we are where? Reality. And what do people do here? They email Diane.", "c": ["Frankie", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Abed, if you change your clothes one more time today, you're fired.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Vaporizers, Skittles?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Oh, Britta's still the worst? Yeah. The bar gets dirty.", "c": ["Unknown", "Britta"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "You blackmailing me? Just talking shop.", "c": ["Britta", "Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Miller's Crossing. Mm hm.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I said I don't do this, see. You dirty rat. Guys are all dirty rats.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "No, you're repeating what I said. Oh, I'm a time traveler?", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "You guys know about tardigrades? They're these microscopic creatures that look like robot bears. They can survive in space.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Get into space, you dirty tardigrades, see?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Why is that guy a carrot? Because they ran out.", "c": ["Abed", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "You had to drag Abed back in, and Abed deserves better.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Shut up, Leonard. I once mistook six people for you at a pharmacy.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "You are old. And you deserve less, because of your age.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "I'm, I'm better than this. Is a fart a livid fart from the butt of a lesser god.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Cut to everyone on campus getting as drunk as they want montage.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Who wants to see the ladders professor go higher? Ladder! Aah! You did it, Jeff Winger! This is your school now.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Fifth time's the charm. He's barged the four offices screaming, don't hire this woman.", "c": ["Hiring Manager"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Whatever he's offering you, Greendale will give you less, and an apology.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Whatever he's offering you, Greendale will give you less, and an apology.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Like a montage of them?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Nobody makes more crumbs than a cook. Well, the same goes for clues and detectives.", "c": ["Shirley", "Butcher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "Feeling someone's gonna murder some tater tots tonight. That's no mystery at all.", "c": ["Shirley", "Butcher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Ladders"}, {"t": "They consider me a competitor because of my natural stealth and ambivalence.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Oh, did she get high again and forget she doesn't wear contacts?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Well, he's really got his teeth in my flesh right now. Okay, he's touching bone. I'm just waiting for him to finish up. Not a lot I can do at this point.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Britta's a rich genius with super powers and she's gonna live on our sofa for no reason.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Dinosaurs. My tax documents. Facts about Native Americans. Just kidding.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Did Greendale need a virtual reality system? Like a hole in the head.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "A hole in the head is something that you don't need. She said through a huge hole in her head.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "The last people I saw using it were in the Honeycomb Hideout.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "You don't know for sure that I'm not a veteran, and nobody can say for sure that today isn't Veteran's Day.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Relax, my little bean countess.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Have fun in the Stone Age while I step into the third dean-mension.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "And Jesus wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "I feel like everybody's talking about that haircut I gave Vicki, so-.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "I wanted a Murphy bed for shenanigans but the cost to shenanigan ratio was too high.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "It's Portugal's answer to Gremlins if Gremlins' question was how can you totally rip us off without spending any money and having watched us maybe twice?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Is settings the volcano or the cobbler's workshop? It's a monastery.", "c": ["Dean", "Frankie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "You can do that by dragging it to the accessories and peripherals castle, and planting it in the printer driver.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "You're not the new Annie. You're the new Abed. I don't know what that means yet.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "The green ones are bad and the red ones are kind of like isolationists. It's a metaphor for World War II.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "That's what people say when they take your soul, and they rip it out of your chest and then shove it in your mouth.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "I got bit by a cat.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "I remember the New Year's glasses having zeros for eyes. And when did Stella get her groove back?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Poor. We're poor friends.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "I eat love, Britta. Hot, delicious love that you were willing to wipe your ass with.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "When my phone rings and I say hello, and they say, is Pablo there? I don't say, who's asking, I say, wrong number.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "That doesn't mean anything. I can copy a file by holding my finger down on a phone. Well, so can a monkey.", "c": ["Jeff", "Elroy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "You bet your sweet ass I saw Lawnmower Man. I consulted on it. Took Brigitte Nielsen to the premiere.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "And my feet aren't meaty!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "We sent you a birthday card to your apartment in New York, and then next week you're setting fire to a Jamba Juice in San Jose.", "c": ["Britta's Dad"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Your mom and I think you'd be the prettiest. Absolutely, the boys would be swiping right. Or girls! Yes! Whatever makes you happy. Totally.", "c": ["Britta's Parents"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Who are these doddering open-minded geezers? Where are the people who wouldn't let me dress up like Prince for Halloween?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Or had me drug tested when I was 11 because they said I was laughing too much?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "She's growing up.", "c": ["Britta's Dad"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "I put a tilde on this n! I can do anything.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "To use a phrase I coined in the 90s, I'm going in. You coined that? Oh yeah, lock and load. That's mine too.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "You know, one of the most unfair lessons we're forced to learn is that our parents are human beings. We wanna think of them as gods or demons, because then that would make us heroes.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Here's your power. Yeah. Now, manipulate worlds.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "All that matters is that we're all going to die.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Now, it's just gonna be margaritas, Pottery Barn, fighting our family's tendency toward obesity as we slide into oblivion. First you guys, and then me quickly thereafter.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "Benjamin. I got bit by a cat, Deb.", "c": ["Chang", "Britta's Mom"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "And that, my friend, is the Greendale effect. I'll never get out of here, will I? I haven't met many that do.", "c": ["Dean", "Elroy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "There are times when change needs to be different, then there's changes that are more the same. But the same changes don't tend to be different than the changes that came before.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care"}, {"t": "I'm in bed, but I only rest half my brain at a time.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I am Jeffrey, best friend of dean.", "c": ["Takashi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Bro, I just secret that way with love. You know, my style. We keep loving in text, but then secret forever. Meow.", "c": ["Takashi"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I had to remove my night cream, it's $200 an ounce.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I have a theory about this, Britta may be secretly twins.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Could a drunk person do this? [implied visual gag]", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "No, the unrelated, totally random combination of those four letters.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Because the population keeps growing, and no one here ever graduates.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Oh, get a boardroom.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Nothing in particular, just overlapping clouds of many thousands and thousands of things.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "There isn't a Brenda factor. / He says she's doing better. / Better than what? / Her thyroid condition!", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "The brotherhood of AV exists your petty factionalism. We serve only video, the one true queen, and her faithful consort, audio.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "No, most of us have achieved our maximum potential.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "A bunch of clocks with different times on them, a red phone, a big tabletop map with little Nazi tanks, and, or a Godzilla.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "You know, it's the darndest thing, I think Britta somehow crapped in my pants too.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I mean I could declare it a. Cookie room! / There are no cookies. / There is a situation.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Found it. She was wandering around campus, without pants.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "If the answer is Greendale, prepare to get boned.", "c": ["City College Ad"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.96, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I seem to recall, no.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "What I wanna know is, did a dog get a degree here, in any way that can be proven?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "So, how many seconds of that should I waste on truth, which is an artificial construct that rarely holds up in court, and has never changed the outcome of a fight.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "The Brenda paradox.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I mean we've known this animal 30 seconds and she's already unreliable.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "So, why is he a pedophile? / Just demonstrating the formula.", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "And maybe she barks just a little bit more, at black mailmen.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "But first, why don't you go get a bunch of coffee, drink all of it, then go get some more and bring it back here.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "No. No. Bad!", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I say I go to City College with a camera, shoot a really gross porno movie on their campus and put it online. / Fine. / Cool. / Wait, what?", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "It's only my style to be secret, please bring me five can of olive. / Five cans? / But don't believe me if I say I don't like. I'm just pretending I hate olives.", "c": ["Takashi", "Dean"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "It's only my style to be secret, please bring me five can of olive.", "c": ["Fake Jeffrey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "In fact, I kinda hope they do. / Well, why is that? / I don't know. They all treat me like I'm a joke. But if a dog got a degree, that means we're all a joke.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I was like 40. / I never really listened to music, when I was growing up. I was in my own world, but one day at work, I heard this sound.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Hope is pouting in advance. Hope is faith's richer, bitchier sister. Hope is the deformed addict bound incest monster offspring of entitlement and fear.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I assume Change thinks I sound like distant explosions and crying babies, you know, he's unstable, right?", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "See what hope does? / Screw you, Frankie!", "c": ["Frankie", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Victory. / You know, within the context of Greendale.", "c": ["Annie", "Frankie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Ruffles stole cookies from a Girl Scout, impersonated a lobster, has had 27 children with five different fathers, and, according to one local doctor, has worms.", "c": ["Attack Ad Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I originally wanted the voice over to be a James roll Jones impersonator, but the James bater impersonator turned out pretty good.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Jackpot, relative to Greendale. / My God, look at the course load, this dog was an animal.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Eat crap Ruffles, and not just your own.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "And dragging this dog's name through the mud? That's worse than dishonest. That's evil! / Evil? / I'll cop to silly.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Somethings are silly and evil, like candy cigarettes. And remember when Flava Flav had that reality show? / I don't own a TV.", "c": ["Annie", "Frankie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "If it ends with you yelling at me for not sleeping, that's not a story, that's a German art film.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I am a female student being physically overpowered by a male teacher. / Damn it!", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Hope and $1.49 will get you a candy bar. / Buck 79. Are you serious? / Jesus!", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "You could say yeah, that and $.50 could get you a candy bar, or that and a quarter could get you a phone call. It was easy to be unimpressed back then. I mean it was, literally, cheaper.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "She came really close to getting a degree, which means two things. She's an exceptional dog, and Greendale really needs to get its together.", "c": ["Abed in Ad"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "You hoped. / I hoped and it worked. / Hope points.", "c": ["Frankie", "Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "This is pornography? / Doy. / You're the only actor. / So?", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Okay genius, but the title is Chang does Greendale, oh wait. / Reshoots.", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Why don't I bring you some olives tomorrow, Jeffrey? / I am not Jeffrey! / I am not the dean!", "c": ["Dean", "Takashi"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "I often think about that night. Such a small event, but ultimately the moment that would lead me to becoming loban. Highest the leader of the Yakuza.", "c": ["Takashi"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Basic Crisis Room Decorum"}, {"t": "Always scare Danielson, Miyagi hate fighting.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "You got a problem with that, racist?", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "They took my snake, and they turned it into a plumber. They made the eggs, into barrels. The pine tree they made into a gorilla, but I recognized my design. Donkey Kong my ass. That's construction snake.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Why would a tree throw eggs at a snake? / Why would a papal be fighting a monkey?", "c": ["Elroy", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "What happened to good morning? / It's a bad morning, no Wi-Fi.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Okay, let's not get carried away. We need oxygen. / We have oxygen, we need Wi-Fi.", "c": ["Dean", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "My emails to her get bounced back to me in Aramaic, and when I call, I hear an undulating high-pitched whistle that makes my nose bleed.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I'm assuming it's still the same, smaller holes, more bytes. / Now what are we up to now, mega? / Tera. / They did it, those bastards. They finally did it.", "c": ["Elroy", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Can I be his assistant? / Not for money. / Can I be his friend? / Elroy Abed is your friend.", "c": ["Abed", "Frankie", "Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Now the real reason I came by, I'm dying. Not really, but imagine how bad you feel for complaining about the Wi-Fi.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Too short? It is too short? It's not too short? You people are no help.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "One, one more thing. You're gay, right? I mean, like openly gay.", "c": ["School Board Member", "Dean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I'm not openly anything, and gay doesn't begin to cover it.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Those guys get to dress fancy all year. We have one day!", "c": ["School Board Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Because, if you are that gayness could be a rocket, thrusting you to new gay heights. And if you're not. Well, there's a lot of gay guys out there.", "c": ["School Board Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I feel that's the selling point of the lifestyle. You know, I, I, I never thought about it that way. / Well, I have. Cutting women out of sex, it's genius.", "c": ["Dean", "School Board Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Gay dean. Gay dean. Gay dean. Gay dean.", "c": ["School Board Member"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Same reason my mom took my half brother to Arizona.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Kid, animals have been murdering each other for 3 billion years. Birds have had their 15 million in the spotlight.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "But we can't do any of it while scheduling our evolution around the needs of the least lucky birds.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "What are you, a demon? Did Clive Barker write you?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Mean? You just did a baby bird murder monologue.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "What's that? / Exactly.", "c": ["Britta", "Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "We were cast as Mr. Miagi and the Karate Kid, because we're a good team! / We're a team, because one of us is so talented she got cast outside her gender and the other one, got cast because of eye shape.", "c": ["Annie", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Let's say you're right. And like Sidney Poitier or Meg Ryan before you, you were cast for race.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Wow, need time to fix it? You sound just like you work in IT.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Well I got a part in a play and we were sort of talking about that, so read the room Pelton.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "They want you to be a token homosexual?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "It's a form of progress, 30 years ago, the most power an openly gay could achieve was a center square.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "If coming out is a magic show, and gayness is the rabbit out of the hat, I'm one of those, never in any handkerchiefs.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "When a person becomes symbolic they gain symbolic power, at the price of independent power.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "And all I have to do is pare down my sexuality to simple gayness, which is heavily in the mix.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Dean Pelton is coming out as approximately two-sevenths of what he is.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Quick adjustment, Ben. / Yeah? / Act better. Act better.", "c": ["Director", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Keep me from puking is your motivation. Stop making me want to quit the theater and kill myself.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I got distracted cuz the tools were doing a better job than you.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "You crying? You cry when I tell you to cry. So reabsorb that disgusting droplet of salt and bad choices back into your doughy body.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "And then call your mother to see if you can be reabsorbed back into her doughy body or so help me God, I will take that tear, I will freeze it, and I will stab you in the eye with it, you waste of a soul-shaped hole forgotten by God.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "and my partner, Domingo. / Very proud of my Craig.", "c": ["Dean", "Domingo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Which happens to be gay! Which is great, but irrelevant! / Hey, it gets better!", "c": ["School Board Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I make gayness look like Mormonism.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Confine yourself to your role, Domingo. And lose the attitude.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I don't hit water, or old mayonnaise. Or the air after a fart has dissipated. And I'm not hitting you.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "You are the worst actor I've ever directed and I've directed both Wahlbergs!", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Danny does a bit with the floor sanders, Miyagi is amused, and Kenny gets me another god damned cup of coffee with six Splendas in it!", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I was kind of born to act, Britta. When I do it, I can feel it pleasing the universe.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "That's dramatic. / See?", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "If they're albatrosses, we're in trouble. Albatrosses have a 270 day fledgling period.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Well of course not. If you move them the mother won't come back. Keep up the good work.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "you make me embarrassed to have thumbs, I can see air quotes around you.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Lead? You played Danny LaRusso. / Well I'm the Karate Kid. / The Karate Kid is about Kesuke Miyagi.", "c": ["Director", "Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Ralph Macchio? Showed up.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I cast you because your measurements allow me to use the same wardrobe as last year.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I cast Ben because he has the sadness and talent that could make this show great. If I have to physically drill into his chest and suck it out with a straw!", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "So you can take a flying kick and a rolling donut! You're fired.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Oh my God! You're like doing a terrible Vinnie Barbarino up here. But, like, I know you're not capable of anything better, so, that's why I've been so nice to you.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "That's a little too gay. / I didn't do it because I'm gay. Wait, I'm not gay.", "c": ["School Board Member", "Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "You know why? Because the whole point is to get a job by being gay and then to do as good of job as the normals.", "c": ["School Board Member"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "They don't want a gay dean who acts like a weird gay monster.", "c": ["School Board Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "This is two white security guards versus one unarmed black man and two baby birds. Your move.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Just one unarmed black man versus one unarmed, openly gay dean.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I belong to one of the most marginalized and least openly honest groups in America. I am a politician.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "We like our politicians in the closest because we're afraid, deep down, we're all a little political.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Two of them died. There's one left. He's hanging on, but I'm worried he's turning into a symbol of my own innocence.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "If any of you go, you're supporting abuse. / Oh, dial it back, Annie.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "It'll be interesting to see how his fake crying is different from his real crying.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Well I'm a big fan of the performing arts, but I'll go to Chang's play anyway.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Actors are worthless, empty-headed homunculi, but the right one, in the right role can change the world.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "He replaced me with Annie Kim.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Oh, shit.", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I'm speechless. / I forgot Chang was up there. / Me, too.", "c": ["Annie", "Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Maybe that's the lesson. / Maybe we all lost a button.", "c": ["Abed", "Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Believe me, I sit in my dressing room and all I dream about is a white picket fence and a dog. / I don't have those either.", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "I know this great bar for people that don't hate themselves. / What do you say?", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Oh, I'll always remember how you kept me from getting email for a week. And that chirp you do when you want more bread.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "And now everyone, please put on your cat masks and finger wings. With these cat masks, we remind you that this place can no longer be your home, but with the fluttering of these wings, we symbolically join your flight into the natural world.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Thanks to you, that bird has his whole bird life ahead of him, to fly, meet lady birds, even start a bird family. You made a difference. / Aw. / Abed.", "c": ["Britta", "Group", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing"}, {"t": "Which always confuses me, because black means bad.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "When it's a cat or banana or a shirt that makes you think you've lost more weight than you have.", "c": ["Same character"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Nice save. Sorry about that, man.", "c": ["Different character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I have a brain the size of Jupiter. I'm nobody's fourth Ghostbuster.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "In fact, before you got here, they had two.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "They had to often step back and remind themselves that they weren't one collective ray of light.", "c": ["Same character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Is this a cult? Are you gonna eat me?", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Nice grammar.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Okay, you have a rule against parties, which I'm sure is a world record for uptightness, so let's celebrate that.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "You're a coucher.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "She sleeps on the couch. She's a coucher.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "There's no government to overthrow here.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Nice irony.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I resent the idea that this would alarm me.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Seamless, Frankie.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "That's the black guy in every sci-fi movie. I'll allow it.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "They'll rape us. They'll rape us all.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.31, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "They can't rape you, because their genitals will be hundreds of miles away.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "They're iPads on sticks.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Hey guys, I'm moon walking.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Oh, I walked into that one.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Gross, who farted? Oh wait, nevermind.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Then give me what the ceremony would cost.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "if I see any race gangs forming, I will have no choice but to adjust the contrast on your screens until you all look the same.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "so be nice, to me.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "it's like watching magicians bully jugglers.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I was a phony lawyer, I got caught, and now I teach a pretty phony class.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "But, you might learn a thing or two. And I mean literally a thing or two.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Hey, and they call me the criminal.", "c": ["Willy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I know the main difference between us is an orange jumpsuit.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "You have an iPad.", "c": ["Willy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Just don't hide it. You know, once you take another man's life, the least you can do is carry it with you.", "c": ["Willy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Are you carrying any murders, Mr. Winger?", "c": ["Willy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I hear you have to have strong feelings for someone you kill. I try to reserve that stuff for myself.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Who wants to watch Planet Earth? Oh, look, ice worlds, oh the majesty.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I'd like to make this moment worth popping back to from some point in the future.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I'm glad I kicked that habit it was getting a little joyless.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "They're like conventions for every subject too boring to have their own convention.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "That was for my movie Reverse Godzilla. I also thought it might make a good pop back.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I make movies, Annie makes rules, you make parties. Her rules cancel out your parties, but I'm not involved, I just make movies.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "What are categories in Prison Jeopardy?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Did you just try to murder me?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "You're trying as hard as you can right now to kill me.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Oy vey.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Britta's Party, based on a true story of fun and no rules.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Everyone has a great time and parties like there's no tomorrow, then they leave. Sophia cleans up. The end.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I see the real time stakes of Can't Hardly Wait, the subversive raunch of Risky Business, and the mumbly pointlessness of everything after 2003.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I moved in third. I'm a coucher.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "She's a coucher! I sleep on a couch!", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Before this is over, you'll beg for my forgiveness.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Did he steal a driver's ed simulator? Did he start an illegal game of solitaire on his face?", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Now where I'm from, you accuse somebody of something, you better have evidence, or he better be a minority.", "c": ["Willy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Now, I'm not worth murdering?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "You're a rock n tour. You charm people with your slick and fancy words.", "c": ["Willy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I don't cotton much to fancy words and book study. It's not how I got to where I am.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Mr. Winger was born in dirt, Willy. Same as you I'm sure.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Mr. Winger, when did you stop being funny?", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Shouldn't have worn that petard if you didn't want to be hoisted by it.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I guess I just assume that in the old days a petard was a special outfit like a leotard with a lot of fancy buckles and loops on it. And that rich people would wear them when they were feeling especially smug. But then poor people could tie a rope to one of the loops and hoist them up a pole and then let them dangle there as punishment for being cocky.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Never look it up. Your explanation is way better.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Party like there's no tomorrow. What? There's no tomorrow. Party like it.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I know most of you are like thirty.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Did someone order a prison break!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Try dancing harder. Is that as hard as you can dance?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "They keep dancing like it's today.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Look at me. I'm a murderer. Can I be as cool as you now?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "You are going to a better place with a stronger signal.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I can't look it up. You destroyed my device, and my heart.", "c": ["Willy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Wait. Where's your poop go? A tank. Gross! Get a house.", "c": ["Multiple students"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Ben, aren't you homeless? Yeah, but I poop in a house. Whose? Nice try.", "c": ["Multiple students"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Don't question rules. Rules are good. I'm bad. All hail Annie.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I'll need a broom, a remote control car, an iPad and an elaborate gyroscopically stabilized servomotor.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Parties are just booze, low lights, and loud music, so people can feel more, see less, and not have to listen to each other or themselves.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "You're going to be punished in ways you won't understand for longer than you think is rational or possible.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "the 13th amendment abolished slavery for everyone but convicts, and that we have no choice but to pay you $0.13 per hour or less.", "c": ["Warden"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "And I try to steal as little as possible, just the basics. Pens, coffee filters, toilet paper, and one time, an overhead projector and a roll of carpet.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I'm a gorgeous face that works for you and considers you a friend.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Son of a bitch!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "There's a kid outside throwing tennis balls against my RV.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "There's a janitor on it right now.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "I think Britta's being arrested.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Initiating override protocol. All in favor of this purchase? Affirmative. Very well, Abeds commence with world domination. Eradicate, eradicate, eradicate.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights"}, {"t": "Computer no worky", "c": ["Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Pelton, I can't keep track of all the parakeets you had growing up", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "You have been owned by Elite Fleet 69. Our hacks are all up in your systems. I'm not bothering to pronounce them, but there are a lot of z's being used.", "c": ["Pelton"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Is there another Mask movie coming out?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "No parlo hablo too late at Greendale Elroy", "c": ["Pelton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "You could cut the hardline at the mainframe. Hardline. Mainframe.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "To the mainframe! To the mainframe!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "You were being sarcastic? Yeah, but you should look at this.", "c": ["Elroy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Don't click it. Oh, what, the green skull will give me a virus?", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Which lunch lady? The hot one? You mean the one who serves the hot food? Mmm, that's the one.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "No one here could ever do that, not even in shifts, it's decades of data.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "I found a torrent of all the highlights if you don't want to wait for the ads to load", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Not to get too liberal, but once they're online, does anyone really own the lunch lady's emails?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "WazzleDazzle.com has got five Bacardi cocktails inspired by the lunch lady's most embarrassing secrets", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "No, just gonna keep the cop you've known for five years at arms length? I get it.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Officer Warburton. I want McDonald's. Wants. McDonald's.", "c": ["Officer", "Child Officer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "It's literally a child in an adult sized police uniform.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "$700. Oh my God, Dean, he's renowned for his racist act. How can he be racist? Listen to his name.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown", "Pelton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Though I'm just a cop, born in a small town, raised in the heartland, but I say cancel the performance, and give the government the sweeping powers it needs to detect and eliminate people before they turn into hackers.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "I hear Marvel got really hands on this time, they really pinned in Joss Whedon creatively, so how can that go wrong?", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Well the cops say that your car trunk has something to do with 9/11. They're not philosophers, they're crossing guards with guns.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "The eyes of the world... Are within hundreds of miles of this room.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Aren't you an atheist? Don't you hate this government? Are you even planning on going to see this comic? Yes, pretty much and of course not, I was planning to protest him.", "c": ["Jeff", "Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "We prefer to be called people without color or vaginas.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "We're the colony so high maintenance the British gave up.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "We're the colony so high maintenance the British gave up. We're so obnoxious the French sent us a statue.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "yes, if our votes had any real power they'd be illegal. Britta! Freedom of speech acknowledged. Trust us.", "c": ["Britta", "Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Britta! Freedom of speech acknowledged. Trust us.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Cancel the show and you cancel people. Might as well bring dinosaurs back.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "I kinda zoned out and assume we're standing to go see Avengers.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "No matter what happens I'm with you, but don't tell anyone I'm with you. If you do, I'll deny it, but I'm with you here and now. Not literally here and now, right now I'm leaving, but I will always have been with you secretly.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Case in point, am I right? Definitely get my good side, right here.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "What do we say? No peeking at the leaking. Promise, promise, promise?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Well, you turned into the path of least resistance.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "It's not like I used that stupid Greendale email for anything but porn subscriptions and improv show mailing lists.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "They got it. They got everything. It's Vietnam now, baby. It's Vietnam!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Girls. Frankie. Francesca.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Something was wrong with that one. Bad chair.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "I'd hate to think my wardrobe wasn't passing muster with this group. So here I am in a brand new outfit with an up-to-the-minute shirt.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "I have read everything you guys have ever wrote about me in an email. And you guys are the worst people in the world.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "I will bite your little finger off and I will eat it! Then, let's see you type more descriptions of my Houseguest-era Sinbad wardrobe.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "You had my blood tested for amphetamines? You were extra jumpy last spring. We had to double check to be safe.", "c": ["Annie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "For that human genome project? We only used half of it for that. By the way, you're one percent Neanderthal.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Unless you're too busy telling your girlfriend I don't understand Donnie Darko.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Oh, or will me opening a box office unfairly influence wagers in your betting pool about my sexual preference?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "You told human resources I was a functional alcoholic.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "What in your unqualified, buzzword-bloated, little red school house of a brain is a functional alcoholic?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "What in your brain is a chapstick lesbian? To me, 300 bucks.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "How does the tigers survive without food or water? Oh, it's not cute, Annie.", "c": ["Annie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "She's dead. I pretend to write her emails as a journaling device.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "She's dead.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "You wretched, evasive little gremlin.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "I received their first letter as part of a family email chain, Christmas of 2007. I responded politely. When I realized they had somehow mistaken me for their cousin... I simply failed to disabuse them of that notion.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "3D models you've been making of our bodies without our permission. That's what those photos were for? I'm making a game about lady time travelers. Where in your pants?", "c": ["Unknown", "Elroy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Except for February 7th, 2013. Chang, Britta is one, Annie is two. Jeff, ha, yeah. Jeff, gross.", "c": ["Unknown", "Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Hey, silver and gold, ladies, ain't no losers there.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Jezel is like a daughter to me. But arguably more like a daughter to her parents.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Oh, and by the way, clearly, not a life coach, and absolutely, just an Italian sociopath you met at a dispensary.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Yeah, Chang was our teacher. What? That's right, and frankly, haven't been well utilized since.", "c": ["Unknown", "Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Dear new ensemble, I love you more than my dad. What!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Dear new ensemble, I love you more than my dad.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "This is the first school in six months that hasn't canceled, so thanks.", "c": ["Gupta Gupti Gupta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "You can stop me, but you can't stop the people from stopping this show.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Listen, you piece of crap, we've been to hell and back for you. Get up there and do your stupid act for freedom.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Look, I see there's a lot of Jews in the crowd. I mean, you know, there isn't, but usually when I do my act, there's more.", "c": ["Gupta"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Look, I see there's a lot of Jews in the crowd. I mean, you know, there isn't, but usually when I do my act, there's more.", "c": ["Gupta"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "when you're black, your community steals all your food, so you can't eat as much. And when you're Jewish, nobody ever buys anything, so you can't eat as much.", "c": ["Gupta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.23, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Hey, Leonard, you enjoy my girlfriend in 2009? As much as she enjoyed your plagiarized poetry.", "c": ["Unknown", "Leonard"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Man, it's like Road Warrior out there, but if petrol were privacy and bad teeth were dirty secrets.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "This is Ryan, AKA StringCheeseHustler, AKA Fartmitzvah, Skullandbones88, Frozensucked, Captaintitty. You don't need to know all his names.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "No one's free when they're one of anything.", "c": ["Officer Warburton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Common courtesy is just gibberish, hocus pocus, a spell we cast when hoping to cheat reality.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "Yankee Doodle Dandy!", "c": ["Officer Warburton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Basic Email Security"}, {"t": "You go to jail if a cop doesn't like you. They can't send you to prison without knowing you're poor.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "By which I mean figure out what makes a DJ good, or bad, or different from a phone or laptop.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "When you asked if I knew PowerPoint, I said, yes. What did I really mean?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "But I'm no magician. I'm just a guy that knows PowerPoint.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Why did they need marketing, they're amazing.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "It sounds like brain Windexing.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "School is cancelled. The Honda Fit is happening. It's finally happening.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "I'm just going to give this school's assets a quick freezy wheezy.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "I think so, but sometimes we just hang out and say funny stuff.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "I mean, is he black Pierce, old Troy, or Shirley without a giant purse?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Did he own a rainbow? Was he the group's pharmacist?", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Troy was very gifted at steel drums.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "That won't pay off immediately, but it's gonna pay off. And that Jeff, is the truth.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "That's how it works?", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Sub. Don't say it. Don't ever say that name without compensation.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "The hub of a quality camping experience is a safe and reliable generator.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Sub. No, no, no, no, that's my sandwich name. I'm my own man now. I'm a free, reliable, quality man, named Rick.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Can you actually crouch down a little bit cuz you're taller than my instructor and I'm only a yellow belt.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "The Fit combines the efficiency of a sub-compact with the versatility to take whatever life throws at you.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Shh! You're not allowed to know that. I'm useless to Honda, if anyone knows.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "As friend, Britta, can I at least show you the CR-V's easy fold-down 60-40 split row seat?", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Are you gonna play pretty please, will you like us more?", "c": ["character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Better. In celebration of Elroy's life peaking in the early 90s, The Ears have it.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "What's the age allowance on The Ears Have It? Seven and up. Then I'm six.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "There's 35.2 cubic feet of cargo space back here.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Why choose, when you can Hond-oose.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "My God, you're level seven susceptible.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "I was thinking dolphin, but I knew they didn't have ears because my dentist has a poster of one on the ceiling, and I recently had a root canal.", "c": ["Shane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "We know you have your choice of friends and we thank you for choosing us.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "I got up to make nachos and Elroy said, that was not-cho job. And we laughed. Then he made them for me. It was more than word play. It really wasn't my job in his eyes.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "I'm cheating at a game of hide and seek right now. We weren't supposed to leave the rec center.", "c": ["Shane"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Stupid sink! Every time! Mother. I hate.", "c": ["Bartender"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "This one's got a pig on the bottle.", "c": ["Bartender"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "You mean shill-boards and con-mercials?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "He finds that part of each life that Honda can improve and gently bathes it in the most helpful information possible.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Did you trick me? Am I suffering? Do you love this man?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Sorry, for being obnoxious!", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Man you got him pegged, man, pegged.", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Unless I need wrench made of licorice.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Man, I'm like a fart to that guy. He can't get away fast enough.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Natalie is freezing. Natalie is freezing. Natalie is freezing.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Because that's moon man talk.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "I can't ask any questions right now. Because all of the questions I have right now are rhetorical and they end with the word idiot.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Should we be caring more about our floor mats, George?", "c": ["Britta's Mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "No thank you, that movie is three hours of puke.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "You weird, hair gelled, CPR dummy.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Why would anyone in the band be Natalie? We're artists.", "c": ["Julie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "When I influence people to buy Honda products, I feel God's pleasure.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "What's that thing that castles have? A moat. It goes over the moat.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "One mechanical alligator?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "A drawbridge, a drawbridge.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Guess I'm a level seven susceptible too.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "That's you. That's my impression of you, you jaded hipster a-hole.", "c": ["Julie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "The 2015 Honda CR-V sells itself. That's why it's this years Motor Trend Sport Utility of the Year.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Obviously you can't ask what you are. Mom, change your ears.", "c": ["Unknown child"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "How in the hell did you -. Am I an animal? Not by a long shot.", "c": ["Britta's Dad", "Britta's Mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "I think we did something wrong. I know we did, Deb.", "c": ["George", "Deb"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Advanced Safety Features"}, {"t": "Haaaaaaaaa'aaam, gurrrrl! Family pack ham packs, from Kolb Family Farms, the family that's pleased to meat you.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Spielberg is calling. Not you know, I don't go by phone calls. I go by contracts.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "You know, I was kind of a loner. People, you know, made fun of me for it, but I just kept my head down and stayed focused on my work.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Turn it off. Ben Chang is on a rocket ship to eternal validation. Turn it off.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Well it's been three weeks. I'm having his car towed.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "To Chang. May your success be brief, and your colds last months.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Who would have predicted Chang becoming famous? Technically, I did, remember? Only, I thought it would be for... Eating someone, yeah.", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "That would mean the world was insane.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Chang's absence lowers our insurance premiums 6%.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "I think we all just feel a little short changed.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Because we all assumed he was so insane he would die if we kicked him out.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "We thought he was bedrock. But it turns out he was the ceiling of a cavern filled with us.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "The Chinese fellow, right? Whose name was some kind of noise? Clang, bang, merengue.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "I can stand guard if you wanna use the women's room.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "What have I told you about quitting? That it's sometimes the only way to survive. Well, don't forget I said sometimes.", "c": ["Dean", "Abed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.57, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "I'm gonna punch you in the heart.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Real life former cops aren't great with dialogue.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Chang found out the McRib was back and we lost the rest of the day. Great actor, huge McRib problem.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "He's a genuine Hollywood film producer whose doctor ordered him to live in Colorado due to a medical condition. Yeah, my blood nitrogen levels are through the roof. Most of the time, I can't... Oh, no, no the other thing.", "c": ["Abed", "Maury"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Have you seen Vin Diesel in 1996's Happy Pants? No. Well, neither has Vin Diesel, but his roommate from film school saw 500 grand.", "c": ["Maury"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "It's my American Graffiti, my Elephant Man, my Four Rooms, the Robert Rodriguez segment.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "They put in him a regular scene, and then they add some Gagoos.", "c": ["Maury"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "There's no green three in billiards. Now, there's a green six and a green fourteen, but never a green three.", "c": ["Maury"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "I can slouch.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "I can do a morning announcement that will make everyone hate you forever.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "The movie about the Ham Girl guy, in his space office fighting some Gagoos, led by Chris Pratt type, played by Jeffrey without his shirt.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Okay, but I get final cut, and it has to be a good movie. Agreed, but you have to finish that cut by Monday, even if it's bad. I agree to that, but it has to be good by my standards. Absolutely, and also, if it's terrible, nobody will notice or care.", "c": ["Abed", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "So, let's crap out this piece of crap. That attitude concerns me.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "My name is Chief Star, and I am in the stars. And I am the hero. I deserve better.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "What in the space?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Yooba dooba dooba.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "It's Sci-fi, it doesn't matter. Please don't say that.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "You're the back of Chang.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "If I was Glip Glop, why would I be holding a tennis ball on a stick?", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Why am I wearing a blouse?", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Scorpio Nine, I'm a pleasure droid. No, I'm an assassin? You're both, keep going.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "I work out. Really? Yes, because I'm not an artist like you, but this is a kind of canvas.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Don't stay in the gym, Abed. Get this session done, get out there and get your shirt off.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Sometimes my eye falls off because I mean, I'm a robot.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "You make everything harder for all women when you do that. I'm improvising. Improvise pockets.", "c": ["Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "So the robot also says yooba dooba. I'm not complaining. It's just that everyone who's not a person is saying 'Yooba Dooba.'", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "That's your daughter. Yeah and you said we were sisters, dumb ass. It's hot. It's like Chinatown in space.", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie", "Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Who am I? What's my motivation? Why am I doing or saying anything that I am saying or doing, I need more, I need more than what I'm getting.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "These chains were forged from the iron of Ganymede.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "That's like cutting Cowboy out of Midnight Cowboy.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "What the hell was that? You stay away! This is my movie too!", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "I will kill you in these frisbees and nobody will ever find you.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Troy, Shirley, Annie's gonna be President. Even Pierce got to die. And Chang goes to Hollywood.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "They gave digital muscles to Chris Pratt in Guardians of the Galaxy. I watch Parks and Rec. I watched it. There's no scientific explanation for...", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "God made that happen. God made this movie, and it's dumb. And we're dumb for being in it.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Life is a big, dumb, pointless movie with no story and an abrupt ending where the hero gets shot by Dracula in the middle of a lunch order during an outtake.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Tell Steven Spielberg to lick my butt. Well, he's right here, so.", "c": ["Chang", "Assistant"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with hair clippers. Pink Floyd. Oh. You're the worst.", "c": ["Dean", "Britta", "Annie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Intro to Recycled Cinema"}, {"t": "Well, the candy has lost its appeal now that I work at the store. You might say becoming a teacher here gave me diabetes.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Are you always thirsty and fatigued and you have blurry vision and your cuts heal slower? Those are actual diabetes symptoms. That's what the doctor said.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "He said, make an appointment through his office during business hours. This is his home, his children sleep here.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "I'll tell you for five bucks.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "I've always wanted to learn more about grifting ever since I saw 1990's The Grifters, featuring John Cusack, Anjelica Huston, and almost no grifting.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Even more so than by that oceanography class, only none of you will even get a goldfish", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Oh, this is one of those things where Jeff gets jealous of something dumb.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "That's something even I could mock, and I live in an RV. I'm judging you, and my dinner table folds down from a wall.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "I'll pay you back. I'll get it from your parents. I'll pay you back. At which point I'll pay back your parents. Which will be never. I'll get a high five from your parents.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Basic my ass, that's advanced.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Shocker. Are they regulation?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "It's a grift. What's a regulation briefcase? I don't know. But they're provided for only $150.", "c": ["DeSalvo", "Students"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Guys, watch this, can I borrow $150? No. See!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "I'll pay you back. I'll get it from your parents. Tell them I spit on their wealth and thank you.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "My name is Professor Roger DeSalvo, for the time being. For I use many a pseudonym, such as Jeff Goulash, Philip Switch, or Baz Ravish.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "For I use many a pseudonym, such as Jeff Goulash, Philip Switch, or Baz Ravish.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Now which one of you thinks I did that on purpose? Exactly, you think you've seen me fail. You think you've spotted a weakness.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Pass them like hell. Pass them like your sister's dying, and continue that for about 40 minutes.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "That sounds like a real name, not the name of a grifter and therefore, not a teacher. My name is Slick Pockets Tucker. No, it's not.", "c": ["DeSalvo", "Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "briefcase swapping talcum for grifters palm, briefcase hinge oil for silence switcheroos, and something called extra believable socks. Those are actually half off, I kind of feel like I grifted him.", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Jeff, you really need us to say it? You were... Eh, whoa, whoa, yeah I need you to say it. Let me just get settled. Okay go. You were right.", "c": ["Annie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "My feelings are fine. I'm just very lazy, and you gave me an excuse to do nothing. I'm not just gonna throw that away.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Shouldn't you be on some kind of reverse pissing contest to determine who's laziest? Wait, is that where you suck it back up in your? I'm sorry, I've only ever done it the other way. You mean peeing? No, I mean in the back.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Well, I was the guy with a full bottle of scotch and a high tolerance for foreigners.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "If you need a mnemonic device, it's the one without someone else's stuff all over it.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Like a string is a sweater? Like, paint is the Sistine Chapel? Sure, grifting includes lying, but only a liar would call grifting lying.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "And, only a delusional hobo would glorify stealing. And, I'm God's paintbrush. No, I am God, which pretty much makes me better than you.", "c": ["Jeff", "DeSalvo"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "I wanna speak to you, you son of a bitch. What? I love you. Oh. I do too. Good.", "c": ["Jeff", "DeSalvo"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Or, the friction has gradually melted the handle to fit into our palms.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "The next person who says grift is gonna grift! My god, now it's replacing other words.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Telegram for Elroy Patashnik. Oh, my God. My Aunt Baba died on vacation while in Africa. But she left me a million dollars, but the African government wants to seize the funds.", "c": ["Elroy", "Telegram Man"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "The African telegram. The Jim Belushi of grift? Are you trying to grift me?", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "The Brown Betty? The Texas oil baby? The reverse Jim Gaffigan?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Sir, you. That guy left his lottery ticket on the table. That was the telegram man. No, it wasn't. I mean what telegram?", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff", "DeSalvo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "I'm gonna grift you. I'm gonna grift your ass. Or is that the grift?", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Can an idiot walk backwards like this and not hit anything? Maybe. Or, maybe not.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "I didn't know you and Winger were lovers. If he wanted my respect, he should have opened with that.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Because, oh, my god, Jeff is making this up as we go.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "I guess at any of the several dozen points when a normal person would say, by the way, I have no plan.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Okay, just so you know, if I do and we have half Sting children, when they ask me how to grift, I'm gonna tell them to watch their mother, not listen to you!", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "I need to be better than this guy. So let me think.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "That movie was terrible. You slept the whole time. Yeah, that's worse. The dialogue seeped into my dreams. My whole brain is long and quiet.", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Holed in the closet watching The Sting like gypsies.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "No, I can't think of a metaphor pathetic enough to suit you, Jeff Winger, though I am reminded of something Oscar Wilde once said when he compared sheep to wolves.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "You hit me with a woman's hand. You Midwestern floozy. I lived in New York.", "c": ["DeSalvo", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Grift blood. Someone taste it. I'm sure it's Karo Syrup and food dye. I mean I would, but my diabetes.", "c": ["Students", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "So sorry guys. This is all my fault. Don't be. I'm the one who got in a pissing match. With a jerk. You're a jerk. You're all jerks. And this whole school can suck a big one.", "c": ["Jeff", "DeSalvo"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Speaking on that topic, Britta, this is all your fault and you're expelled.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "She started it as a, as a, as a, as a, as a, as a fake biology group so that she could have sex with Troy.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "She started it as a fake biology group so that she could have sex with Troy. No. That's exactly it. Oh, okay. Don't let me handle it.", "c": ["Jeff", "Dean"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "You can't expel her with four week-isodes left in the seaso-mester.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Now that you're expelled, you might consider a career in grifting. You're quite good at it.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Some say I'm a lucky grifter. Some say I'm the king. They call me the lucky grifter. They call me the King of England. I am the king.", "c": ["DeSalvo"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Briefcase parade! Who the hell are you? You get back here. You get back here with my money.", "c": ["Students", "DeSalvo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Hey, whoa pal. That usage may fly in the UK, not in the States. I have a mentally challenged cousin. Sister. Pics. I wanna see pics.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "Because it sounds like he was either the victim of crass, artless thuggery. Correct. Or Professor DeSalvo was targeted by a group of people he vastly underestimated.", "c": ["Jeff", "DeSalvo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "I was grifted. Grift, grift, grift, grift, grift, grift, grift, grift.", "c": ["DeSalvo", "All"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "My name is Ryan Ridley. Three years ago my life was saved by a stranger at my gym. I felt like I owed him my life. Apparently he agreed. Now he has me do things, and I keep hoping and praying that one day I'll do enough for him to call us even. Until then, I'm just a guy from his gym.", "c": ["Ryan Ridley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Grifting 101"}, {"t": "You know how sometimes a movie or a show begins on a random, intriguing scene with no context given encouraging you to wonder whoa, how'd this crazy scenario come to be? And then it cuts to black and a title comes up and says three weeks earlier. Huh. Here we are.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Sitting in silence, crammed into an RV. Winding through the mountain roads of Colorado with a 19 foot fiberglass hand tied to the roof.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "And your backyard is 24,900 miles long, because it's the circumference of the Earth. Because you have no home.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I guess to make it really intriguing, one of us should be visibly injured in a way that makes you wonder how it happened Like if Britta had a black eye.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Dean, can I speak to you privately? I'm pretty sure the answer is no.", "c": ["Unknown", "Dean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "You're not the first person to have dirty dishes, CD rom porn and framed photos of yourself with two biracial teenagers in a park.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Darn it, I wanna hijack this RV, but I'm foiled by its impenetrable post-2001 security measures.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Are we out of gas? Yes! It's on empty! Like, the needle is invisible. Oh, my God! There's no needle. It's gone. It's underneath the plastic or maybe the engine tried to use it as the fuel.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Aah! Stop, stop, I'm yelling even louder so you have to stop.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "For the love of God, stop charging your phones! Aah!", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Oh, I guess we'll not doing the three weeks earlier thing. Abed insert dialogue here by you dropping the fourth wall shtick.", "c": ["Unknown", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "When they put you on hold, you hang up and you call right back. Frankie taught me that.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "It's just sitting there in Memorial Day's shadow like a military Hanukkah.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "They rerouted Kennedy's parade. So, we'll just call the CIA, tell them we want to assassinate the President, and we'll be home in time for Wheel of Fortune.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Way to make this about justifying your unmarketable sensibilities.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "We got Britta'd, yes, I use it too.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Whatever moment you were in the day you got on the Internet and bought a gigantic hand, I am proud to remain outside until I die.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I don't want anybody here blaming themselves for this. I want everyone blaming Frankie.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Annie, right? What? It's not a judgement, it's about biology.", "c": ["Unknown", "Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Give a hand to your brain. Give your brain a hand. You're making it sound stupid on purpose.", "c": ["Dean", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "This is a lot of narrative pipe. Maybe we did need a three weeks earlier flashback.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Season two you mean? I don't know. I can change my mind.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Show, show, show, is a show, show, show. So now it's a show about this? Oh, you're right, that's way worse.", "c": ["Jeff", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Flooded? So help me God.", "c": ["Unknown", "Elroy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Secondary. We overloaded the electrical system, and killed the engine battery. So now, the secondary battery has maybe three or four hours of juice - Charge, juice, charge.", "c": ["Elroy", "Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "You know, I'm starting to suspect the unthinkable. Namely, that in spite of all we've experienced, there's a cartoonish vampiric orgy of personal devices somewhere in the RV sucking away our remaining battery.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Most conventional weapons don't require electricity.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "So I rented Hotel Rwanda the other night. And let me just say, not a date movie. [CRICKETS]", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "What would Arnold Schwarzenegger sound like if he was bit by Dracula? [CRICKETS]", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.62, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Why do we call them elbows? Why not arm knees? [CRICKETS]. Man, I am dying up here.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I'm scaling the blanket rations inversely to the wattage of each person's phone. That way the person who killed us the most will die the soonest, which feels fair.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "That vinyl accordion partition is a totem of distrust.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "We're sorry that charging our perfectly normal cell phones destroyed your weirdly fragile RV. Okay, I'm sorry about that apology.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "You kept seeing the same bird.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "When they cut to three weeks earlier on TV, they're not traveling in time, dip ass.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I'm sorry for not asking people what they wanted before buying all the snacks for the trip. Think about it, it's the worst thing I've done on this trip. I've been nailing it.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I forgive all of you.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "You forgive us? You turd!", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "If I'm a child, you're a child abuser.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I'm an adult. [CRYING] And you can't make me not cry. You're all a bunch of bullies, and I will say, I'm sorry, however I want. And by the way, I'm not sorry! It's my giant hand and I love it. We're not selling it.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Okay, this is like crate training a puppy. Everyone suppress every instinct you have to let him out and sleep in bed with us.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "This is like crate training a puppy. Everyone suppress every instinct you have to let him out and sleep in bed with us.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Because I can't cry anymore unless someone brings me a Pedialyte.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Because I can't cry anymore unless someone brings me a Pedialyte.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Figures the one person on my side, is the one playing people chess.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Aah! Don't move, don't move! What the hell else are we supposed to do? Flashback with me.", "c": ["Dean", "Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "How do you lose a hand off a person haphazardly?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Dean, we're so sorry, we love you. Screw you! We are not sorry, we hate you!", "c": ["Multiple", "Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I call the hand. The fiberglass will preserve body heat. What's wrong with me if that's hot?", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I'm a verbal thinker, I'm not even sure I have an idea until I say it.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "It probably undercuts my goals to announce it out loud but I'm a verbal thinker, I'm not even sure I have an idea until I say it.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Nice uncontrollable question mark, Britta!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Super realistic, Annie, you're a real sociopath.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "And I think we all know how ironic that is, no offense, Abed. None possible.", "c": ["Dean", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "And I think we all know how ironic that is, no offense, Abed. None possible.", "c": ["Dean", "Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I appreciate your appeal to my well know passion for athletics, and sarcasm, but I didn't actually bond with him. I almost killed him.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "A bunch of people in an RV? And I had to Christopher Nolan it?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "That was pretty good.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "So sad what happened here, all those centons ago. So sad. So preventable. Space Elder Abed, can you reach backward with your mind and save our species?", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "A hand has two functions, to grip and to release. But without both of these powers, it is useless. Like newborn infants, we grab what comes near us, hoping to control it, taste it, jam it into another child's eye.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "Ideas, stories, pride, girls in soft sweaters, video games, buttered noodles, grip one for too long and you lose so much that you've never held.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I'd be lying if I said I didn't poop. Could you lie then? Sure I can.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "It's about a normal sized son. Who disappeared and it's all my fault, because I gave him a giant kite!", "c": ["Blake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "He's waiting for a better daddy, with a bigger hand.", "c": ["Blake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "So then why the watch? I thought it would look really cool.", "c": ["Blake's wife", "Blake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry"}, {"t": "I have been Vicki the mooooooost!", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go get a shovel, because theater is dead. Shh.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Todd, you know you don't have to creep around to be weird, right? You're weird at picnics.", "c": ["Starburns", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Oh! Aah!", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Do you know why I beat you, Todd? Seriously, you don't? Cuz I don't either, but that was insane.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Hold your horse panties.", "c": ["Starburns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "I'd call him Silver Ghost, but that's probably already taken by an indie comic book or a terrible tequila.", "c": ["Starburns"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "This era is over. It was fun while it lasted, but now mommy's home.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Handling turds has rubbed off on him.", "c": ["Lapari"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Which gender? I don't care, but everybody else does.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Occasionally our campus erupts into a flawless, post modern, homage to action adventure mythology, mischaracterized by the ignorant as parody.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Is gonna make it a lot easier for me to beat you.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "They killed meeeeeee!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Grow up.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "For a guy who's not playing, you sure are shooting a bunch of mothers.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Do I use echo location to navigate? Why would you ask that after learning you aren't a bat?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Well. Well is a hole in the ground when you're thirsty.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Boo hee haw, boo hew haw, bam.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "And for what it's worth, thank you for teaching me the cool, new way to respond to people saying the word well.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Don't hate the player. Colloquialisms aside, Annie's right.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "If that means what I think it means, we're dealing with gibberish.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Oh, I save it all up for Saturday night.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Spy, assassin, mercenary, bad person walking among us laughing, laughing quietly. And then if we look pretending that he was looking at something funny.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "but des, but", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "desperate deans call for Deansperate measures.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "But we're not, to be clear, we did not vote on that name.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "You just became the Secret Dean Force, The Dean Boys, Task Force Dean, His Dean, Secret People. I know the word Dean is in it.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Dean Force One.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Club Club, the last club I thought I'd ever join.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Connor stop horsing around with Billy and party.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Attention shoppers there's a sale on partying in my pants aisle. Everything in my pants must go. Well not everything, that doesn't, you know what I.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Koogler? Aladdin. I thought your name was Fun Dad.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Koogler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Are you a narc? Why would I answer that honestly?", "c": ["Koogler", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "The first rule of Club Club is that we are not a fight club. The second rule is that if you're a hot lady, you have to have sex with me.", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "That's a description of every paint ball.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Or beer, right? But not Bitcoin. I mean, I believe in it. I just, I think I feel like I need it to stabilize.", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "My accountant? Oh, how do you know David?", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Oh, look, if i tell you that, I'm pretendsies dead.", "c": ["Koogler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "A key with a lock on it.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Who wears a jumpsuit to a black tie gala?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "You have keystrokes programmed to, eesh, that's dorky.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm raising awareness of Armenian American stereotypes.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Should stereotypes have their awareness raised, I?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Voice of Diedrich Bader to belfry.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Yes hello can I get a bogey with a gun no pickles and three orders of gun.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "No, no you can't ever come in ever, you're sloppy.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Let the idiots come to you.", "c": ["Kitchen worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "[Extended kitchen fight sequence with paintball carnage]", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "We're got a real life M Night Shamalyan here. It's Shyamalan.", "c": ["Lapari", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Oh, of course, it's the Indian guy. I'm Arabic.", "c": ["Lapari", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "where their pay phones aren't only herpe-free, they're actually removed.", "c": ["Lapari"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "I guess to a custodian, a supply closet is like a location.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "It's an old stand up line for using up hecklers.", "c": ["Lapari"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "A cleaner Greendale is like a healthier cigarette. Yes, a carrot stick. Frankie can make us a carrot stick. We're tobacco.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "A cleaner Greendale is like a healthier cigarette. Yes, a carrot stick.", "c": ["Dean", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "We are Robert Downey Jr, he was so high he was crawling into people's windows. Now he's Iron Man.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "What do we-. Okay, on the count of three we're gonna shoot ourselves in the foot.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "And the Pope looks at the giraffe and says I'm in the room.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "I like big trucks. I saw a fire truck today.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "I made a stinky.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Old DC. Okay fine, Vicki, you're a music major, not a history major.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "I think if you ask Vicki the color of her mother's eyes, she would say dead. Or, maybe she would say $7 a seat.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Blue. They were a very pale shade of blue.", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Boo! We'd rather you boo. It means you felt something.", "c": ["Garrett", "Vicki"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Like, you don't have to be dicks.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Modern Espionage"}, {"t": "Yesterday I wrote the word law on the board. This time, don't erase it, and maybe tomorrow we'll get even further.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "By the way, everyone in class gets the credit because I'm not sure how much I should encourage this.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "This is me, Garrett. I'm in your class.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "He said he was there for the such.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "I remember I was sweating a lot, and breathing heavy, and my heart felt like it was going to burst in my chest. But the day I met Stacy, most of those symptoms actually declined.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Aren't you still smelling hair to tell Frankie from Annie?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Well, it's official. I'm getting laid.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "If you don't put that silly thing away, I swear, I'm gonna stop loving you. Oh, that's it. Happy birthday.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "We're making footage like that for me in case I get kidnapped or murdered.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "The health department called. They don't want anything back.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "For those who don't know, Garrett, he's a guy we don't really know, that we've known for like six years at school, the funny-looking guy. Britta, mean! Sorry! The eccentric-looking guy.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "But if we're both cleaning then there's nobody to explain why.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "We're an intensely, intimately bonded crew.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "That beleaguered sigh means, no, I can't have black nails.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Please don't Jim the camera like that.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Your what?! Don't jump on that, my accountant, it's a figure of speech. It's a form of speech called making things up.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "A cold, off-putting incompatible person. The kind of person that turns a sleepover into a stoning.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Biblical, igneous, jagged, hateful, pointy, ninja rocks", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "One of my sisters as well, you know, one of them is deceased, and the other is mentally retarded.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "We batted the time. Huh? We lied to you cause we knew you'd be late. So we lied to you about the time.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "You need people whose flaws feed into each other. It's what do you call it? Co-dependence. Synergy.", "c": ["Chang", "Annie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "You literally just defined co-dependence.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "We invented a new game. Celebrity Garrett marriage.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "We were genius to pad the time margin. Because now we have, like, three more hours to play the game.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "I'm home alone. Well, not really.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "What if I'm God?", "c": ["Wedding Officiant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "I know I look pretty complete. Somebody over there laughed at that the wrong way.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Your was louder than what I said.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Well that, those aren't really vows. That's a list of things you love about me, yeah.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Definitely not Garrett, since his name's not Barrett. Whoopsie. We say a wrong a name. Oh! Racist. Oh, no. You a racist. That guy's a racist. From here to there is racist.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "You came to a wedding in the middle of the vows through a bush. I'm not Dr. Phil, but, I don't want my son to kill himself, so, do what you gotta do!", "c": ["Garrett's Mom"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "It's almost like groups and people in groups, can never be complete at the same time. Does that make any sense? No? Well, that's your problem.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "My name is Elroy Patashnik, and from 2006 to 2009, I was addicted to encouraging white people.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.54, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "My name is Elroy Patashnik, and from 2006 to 2009, I was addicted to encouraging white people.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "The thing is, and this will sound racist, white people are very discouraged, and very discouraging to each other.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "There's no lid.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Am I that bad? We have the same dragon. Eventually you will slay it, or train it, or dissolve in its stomach. Its name is Helping Others.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "If you slay it, I don't know. I guess you get a new dragon named Yourself. And then you'd be Jeff Winger.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Carson Scaley. Jude Claw. Ariana Puffington. I got into a bit of a celebrity pun barrel here.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Where's my brother!? I've gotta thing to say about my friend Garrett!", "c": ["Bones"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "That was Stacy's first time! But it's not gonna be her last time, right Garrett?", "c": ["Toast Speaker"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.81, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "A fire hydrant could follow this. Don't let Garrett keep you from painting. Don't paint.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "like all my students, I give them till about June.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Or go near a child. Or be in the same town as a pair of scissors. This girl's a wreck.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "either someone here is lying, or this family's a lot closer than we thought.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "And now, this is a man that knows how to marry his cousin.", "c": ["Elroy"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.79, "im": 9.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "None of us would have met if Hitler hadn't been born. Also none of Britta's arguments would have a default analogy.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "What are you, Hitler, Hitler?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Garrett, who loves you here more than Stacy? Nobody. Stacy, is it your fault Garrett's your cousin? No.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Stacy, will you be my legally incestuous wife?", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Everyone stay and eat cake, or go to hell.", "c": ["Garrett"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "Did you know that first cousins can have children without great risk of birth defect or genetic disease? That's a quote directly from the New York Times, April 4, 2002.", "c": ["Briggs Haddon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "I can make love to my cousin in Nebraska, but if I take her on a date in South Dakota, I'm looking at 15 years prison time.", "c": ["Briggs Haddon"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Wedding Videography"}, {"t": "School's out, bitches.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Take that, health inspector, building inspector, foundation inspector, water line inspector, geologist, exterminator, plumber, and dad.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Why bring a metronome? I thought the sound might accentuate the anxious idleness of our last meeting's final seconds. Good job, bad idea.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "The accomplishers. The obsoletists. Steven King's dreamcatchers.", "c": ["Group"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "How about nipple dippers? I like nipple dippers. Yes. You guys. Yes. Ooh, nippledippers.com is available. Grab that mother. Done.", "c": ["Britta", "Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Just finished entire semester without wearing a single silly outfit.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Hey everybody! I made it! Obviously, I binged pretty hard there after the bell rang but, I made it!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "I'll pay for my drinks, I'm not acknowledging that title. Someone owes me ten bucks for the domain.", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "What? That's crazy! People use LinkedIn? No, LinkedIn hired me to help figure out why people don't use it.", "c": ["Elroy", "Group"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Wow, you work fast. Or actually, very slow. Either way, good luck.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "You guys think bars scene always have to start at a billiards shot? Or do you think every time someone takes a shot a in billiards they start a new bar scene without knowing it?", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "You can just say shut up Abed.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "That was an Irish goodbye. Let's give it an Irish wake.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "I mean, what show ever peaks after season six? Simpsons, Seinfeld, South Park, Friends. Those shows weren't hemorrhaging characters every year. Oh, I don't like that word, hemorrhaging.", "c": ["Abed", "Britta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Well, basically. I have a placeholder so set up it, makes analogies look like punchlines. My setup lacks awareness, but my punchline doesn't know. Abusively cynical one liner dismissing everything you just said. Absurd reaction.", "c": ["Abed", "Britta", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "I don't trust A stories. Never have, never will. I had a set up about a story that was so placeholder, the punchline came five words early. And I can tag it too.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Abed? Lizard. Fire hydrant. Obama. Shane!", "c": ["Britta", "Abed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "But isn't the shape of your brain kinda fucked up?", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "See, that's racist, man. That's racist. How about they both come back? How about there's a whole third black person? Where do they all sit? They well they sit wherever they want to sit, as of the 1960s.", "c": ["Chang", "Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Guess what? I made something. I made a belt with fabric. How cute is that? Well, I think that's very cute, so oh, and I love you guys.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Stop! Crazy, and racist, and terrible! I agree. You're being way too linear about this.", "c": ["Abed", "Frankie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Hey everybody, look at me! I'm ice cube head! I've got an ice cube for a head. I also eat cell phones, so you better be careful with those cellphones about me, because they taste like prime rib where I'm from.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "By the way, terrible improv. Ice cube head? You were just looking at your drink. Busted.", "c": ["Abed", "Chang"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Mr. Winger, Garrett's holding Leonard's hand again. Garrett, stop doing that. I'm checking for a pulse.", "c": ["Student", "Jeff", "Garrett"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Lots of things can be forced, like a human head through a six-inch drain pipe. What? Just kidding, pal.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "I've seen more zeroes over Pearl Harbor. There were hundreds of them. The sky was black with smoke bombs.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Last night was so insane, it made the insane clown posse look like the well-adjusted clown posse.", "c": ["Britta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "It must be hard work running away from your own age.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Please. The only credit that it's hard to get at Greendale is from a bank.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Why doesn't the audience feel sorry for me? Britta, your parents have been murdered. By whom? The police won't touch it. They're calling it a double suicide.", "c": ["Annie", "Abed", "Britta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Do I remember? I mean. Doesn't everybody. Could have been anybody.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one, they all just fade away.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "I want my diaper back. I don't even own a TV and I wouldn't watch that.", "c": ["Chang", "Britta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "TV defeats it's own purpose when it's pushing an agenda, or trying to defeat other TV or being proud or ashamed of itself for existing. It's TV, it's comfort.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "And it needs to be okay for it to get on a boat with Levar Burton and never come back. Because eventually, it all will.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Asian kid in my math class, doesn't want to study because he doesn't want to be a stereotype. It's pretty funny.", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "But I'm grown up and I'm hot, but not little girl hot.", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Yeah, like a real TV executive I was letting you guys work your ass off, because there's no profit in saying no to an idea, but now that it's time for me to commit I have to pass.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "That's six seasons and a movie. Jeff I know it comforts you to look at things through that metal lens, but this is reality.", "c": ["Abed", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "I wanna have an opinion about those boring ass Marvel movies. And I want those opinions to be of any concern to the people making them.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "I wanna be terrified of AIDS, I want to have an opinion about those boring ass Marvel movies. And I want those opinions to be of any concern to the people making them.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "They are so not a big deal! I know! It's just all there is!", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "They are so not a big deal! I know! It's just all there is! Yes, and you get to say that!", "c": ["Jeff", "Annie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "The heart, which cynics say is code for penis, wants what it wants.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Cool. Cool, cool. Cool. That was one cool for each season. Wait, do it again. I want to try something. Cool. Cool, cool. Cool. Oh. Cool, cool. I farted during the fourth one. It's an inside joke.", "c": ["Abed"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Oh, I'll regret the kiss for a week, I'm in my 20s. Who cares?", "c": ["Annie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "I think everyone should imagine their own personal version of season seven and not share it with anyone. And then maybe it'll come true. No cutting to any of them. If you cut to it, it won't come true.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "You just stopped being a study group. I hereby pronounce you a community.", "c": ["Frankie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "We can cut to them at home though, right? I mean by ourselves? Sure. I love that I got to be with you guys. Gay. You saved my life, and changed it forever. Gay! Thank you. I'm gay. I'm for real gay. I'm legit gay!", "c": ["Jeff", "Chang"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Gay. You saved my life, and changed it forever. Gay! Thank you. I'm gay. I'm for real gay. I'm legit gay!", "c": ["Chang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Community! The hit show is now a hit board game. More like an I'm bored game. Shut up, Leonard. You look like a German puppet maker and smell like the inside of a church.", "c": ["Leonard", "Jeff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Don't you see? This means we don't exist. We're not created by God, we're created by a joke. We were never born, and we will never actually live.", "c": ["Board Game Father"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "Don't you see? This means we don't exist. We're not created by God, we're created by a joke. We were never born, and we will never actually live.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Community", "ss": "community", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television"}, {"t": "So does he have a hump and a hairpiece?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Wait, does he eat chalk?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Sounds like a date to me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Then I look down and I realize there is a phone.. there. - Instead of - That's right!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "They weren't looking at you before?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "He says, 'Hello,' I want to kill myself.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I feel like someone pulled my intestine out of my mouth.. and tied it around my neck. - Cookie?", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Just leave my aura alone, okay? - Fine, be murky.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You never knew she was a lesbian?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "She didn't know. How should I know?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "So that hysterical phone call from a woman sobbing.. 'I'll never have grandchildren,' was what? A wrong number?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Strip joints! Hey, you're single. Have some hormones.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "And I just want a million dollars!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You want to tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I realized I was more turned on by this gravy boat than Barry.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. I always knew he looked familiar, but..", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Tuna or egg salad! Decide!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'll have whatever Christina's having.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 3.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Push her down the stairs! Push her! Push her down the stairs!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "All my life, everyone's always told me, 'You're a shoe!' 'You're a shoe!' What if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse? Or a hat?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You can see where he'd have trouble.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Wait! I said maybe!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Raindrops on roses And whiskers on kittens... La la la something And noodles with string", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I helped.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Like there's a rule, or something?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Please don't do that again. It's a horrible sound.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Does he sell it, drink it? Or he just complains a lot?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I didn't catch your name. Paul?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "She really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot.. until it starts to get red.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Although, Aruba. This time of year? Talk about your.. big lizards.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I wish I could, but I don't want to.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Love is sweet as summer showers Love is a wondrous work of art But your love Oh, your love, your love Is like a giant pigeon Crapping on my heart", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I have no bracket-y thing. I see no worm guys whatsoever.. and I cannot feel my legs.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I would have to say that is an L-shaped bracket. - Which goes where? - I have no idea.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "She always drank it out of the can. I should have known.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I should've known when she went to the dentist five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Say her - Leg?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You probably think it's about making love with your socks on, but it isn't.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm divorced. - I'm only 26, and I'm divorced! - Shut up!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "We haven't had a relationship that's lasted longer than a Mento.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman for her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream. Let me tell you something. There's lots of flavors out there. Rocky road and cookie dough and bing cherry vanilla. You can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I don't know if I'm hungry or horny. - Then stay out of my freezer.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's more of a fifth date kind of revelation.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Ever since she left me.. I haven't been able to perform.. sexually.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Being spit on is probably not what you need right now.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "We are gathered here to join Joanie Louise Cunningham.. and Charles. Chachi, Chachi, Chachi..", "c": ["TV"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "But Joanie loved Chachi. That's the difference.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Do the words, 'Billy, don't be a hero,' mean anything to you?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Andrea's the screamer. Angela has cats.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I think it's, 'If I can invade Poland, there's nothing I can't do.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Oh, good. Lenny and Squiggy are here.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Last night was like all my birthdays, both graduations.. plus the barn-raising scene in Witness.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "What the hell do you do on a real date?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Unless you saw the Wee One's production of Pinocchio.. at the little theater in the park? - It was a job!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Once I was a wooden boy A little wooden boy", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Well, it's like that. With feelings.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm pushing my aunt through Parrot Jungle, you're having sex.", "c": ["Franny"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.", "c": ["Franny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs.. and men with emotional problems can hear?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "They're my 'I don't need a job.. I've got great boots' boots.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I know that. That's why I was getting married.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I ended up living with this albino guy who was cleaning windshields. And then he killed himself. Then I found aromatherapy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "The word you're looking for is: 'Anyway..'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Rachel, that was a library card.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "If you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You probably didn't know this, but in high school.. I had a major crush on you. - I knew. - You did? - I figured you thought I was Monica's geeky brother. - I did.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I just grabbed a spoon.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I said you had a nice butt. It's just not a great butt.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Could you give this to that guy over there? - Go ahead. Thank you. - Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas. I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minnelli..", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Everything you need to know is in that first kiss. / Yeah, I think, for us... kissing is pretty much like an opening act. I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through... before Pink Floyd comes out.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "See, the problem is, though... after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was... you girls are always looking for the comedian again.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise, you're gonna find yourself... sitting at home listening to that album alone.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Are we still talking about sex?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "He's out banging other women over the head with a club... while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Okay, they have issues like: 'Gee, that glacier's getting kind of close.' See?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "How about I'll catch up with you in the Ice Age?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "...stands erect...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "A lesbian? Well... You never know.", "c": ["Carol", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Oh. Looks like she didn't leave in such a hurry after all.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "I think this is the episode of Three's Company... where's there's some kind of misunderstanding. / Then I've already seen this one.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "See, I wrote a note to myself, then I didn't need it. So I balled it up and now I wish I was dead.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Yes, we know how cruel a parent can be... about the flatness of a child's pillow.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "I mean, you're, like, all chaotic and twirly, you know? Not in a good way.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "You see, he's the prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Ew, ew, ew. / What? / Ugly Naked Guy got a ThighMaster.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Hi, Barry, remember me? I'm the girl... that stomped on your heart in front of your entire family", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "When did you have it on last? / Doy. Probably right before she lost it.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Oh, but look how straight those noodles are.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagna.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Oh, I found it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Kind of puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "She is so great. I miss her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "I mean, presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Well, this is still ruined, right?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "What's that curry taste? / Curry.", "c": ["Ross's Dad", "Ross's Mom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "No, Mom. I don't have a restaurant. I work in a restaurant. / Well, they don't have to know that.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross's Mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Even when you were a kid, and you were chubby... and you had no friends, you were just fine. You'd read alone in your room. And your puzzles...", "c": ["Ross's Dad"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God... our little Harmonica doesn't seem to have that problem.", "c": ["Ross's Mom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "[Long awkward silence after Ross reveals Carol's pregnancy and lesbian relationship]", "c": ["Everyone"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "You're a twin? / Oh, yeah. We don't speak. / She's like this high-powered, driven, career-type. / What does she do? / She's a waitress.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend... who my parents actually preferred.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Well, you may want to steer clear of the word 'dumped.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Or, you know, hey, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring. And you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB-GYN.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Quack, quack... quack, quack, quack. / Ross? / That opens my cervix.", "c": ["Carol", "Susan", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "I dumped him. / Okay.", "c": ["Rachel", "Barry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "As in 'Mouse'? / As in my grandmother. / Still, you say 'Minnie,' you hear 'Mouse.'", "c": ["Ross", "Carol", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Oh, no. You went on our honeymoon alone? / No. / I went with Mindy.", "c": ["Rachel", "Barry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "You got plugs. / Careful, careful. They haven't quite taken yet.", "c": ["Rachel", "Barry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "But you hate sticking your finger in your eye. / Not for her.", "c": ["Rachel", "Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Helen Geller? / I don't think so. / Hello, it's not gonna be Helen Geller.", "c": ["Ross", "Carol", "Susan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "That's funny. Really? I don't remember you making any sperm.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "And we all know what a challenge that is.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "I don't know, but I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "You know, if you tilt your head to the left and relax your eyes... it kind of looks like an old potato.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Sonogram At The End"}, {"t": "\"We should do this again\" means \"You will never see me naked.\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"It's not you\" means \"it is you\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"You're such a nice guy\" means \"I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you.\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"I think we should see other people\" means \"Ha, ha, I already am.\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Like when you're a kid and your parents put your dog to sleep and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"That's funny. No, because, uh, our parents actually did... uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.\"", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Uh, Ross...?\" [Awkward silence as Ross realizes]", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Oh, my God. Chi-Chi.\" [Realization their dog is dead]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Hey, that was really good.\" \"Yeah?\" \"Yeah.\" \"Thanks.\"", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "[Joey coughs violently after smoking] \"I think this is probably why Dimon smokes in his cell alone.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that has been missing from your hand.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.\" \"You miss it?\" \"No, not so much.\"", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "Penis size measurement conversation with thumb and index finger", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 3.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"That's ridiculous. Can I use either thumb?\"", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "Phoebe correctly guessing everyone's coffee orders", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"And there's 500 extra dollars in my account.\" \"Oh, Satan's minions at work again.\"", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping.\"", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Do you know what I'd hear with every step I took? 'Not mine. Not mine. Not mine.'\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"And even if I was happy, okay, and skipping... I'd hear, 'Not mine. Not mine.'\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"We're with you. We got it.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"You've been so good for three years.\" \"And this is my reward.\"", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Okay, so this time I won't quit.\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "[Lisping] \"We love Steve. Steve was sexy.\" [Normal voice] \"Sorry.\"", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"They're like coyotes picking off the weak members of the herd.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Listen, as someone who's seen more than her share of bad beef...\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Let it go, Ross.\" \"Yeah? Well, you didn't know Chi-Chi.\"", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "[Thunder crashes when Monica asks Chandler to promise to be good]", "c": ["Environmental"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"You can come in, but your filter tip little buddy has to stay outside.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Now I have $1000 and a football phone.\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "[Lisping] \"I've heard so much about all you guys.\"", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot?\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"I'm sorry, I can't do this. Can't do it. We loved him.\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Yes, yes. Like the man in the shoe.\" \"What shoe?\" \"From the nursery rhyme.\"", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.\"", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhoff impression alone.\"", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"We won!\" \"Fantastic. I have one question: How is that possible?\"", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"He was like that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions. But instead of Bugs, it was first base, Alan. second base, Alan...\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"We sure showed those Hasidic jewelers a thing or two about softball.\"", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Do you ever think that Alan is maybe sometimes-- What?\" \"I don't know. A little too Alan?\"", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Oh, no. That's not possible. You can never be too Alan.\"", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Yeah, it's his innate Alan-ness that we adore.\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"I, personally, could have a gallon of Alan.\"", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Did you pick out the vowels?\" \"Yes, but I left in the Y's. Because, you know, 'Sometimes Y.'\"", "c": ["Lizzy", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Do you want my tinfoil hat?\" \"No, because you need that.\"", "c": ["Lizzy", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitchhiker.\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Maybe it's a contest, you know? Like 'Collect all five.'\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"So I have a flaw. Big deal. Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying?\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word.\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"And Monica, with that snort when she laughs. I mean, what the hell is that thing?\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody, or just him?\"", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Well, is it, like, a little annoying? Or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?\"", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, all right? I think it's endearing.\"", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "[Monica demonstrates her snort-laugh]", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.\" \"Indeed there isn't.\"", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Yeah, otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.\"", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Oh. The hair comes out and the gloves come off.\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"We talking about the coyotes here?\" \"All right. A cow got through.\"", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Honey, you should always feel the thing.\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"If I had a sock on my hand for 30 years, it'd be talking too.\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"You know, those stupid soda people gave me $7000 for the thumb.\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. What is up with the universe?\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"It's even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"I'm getting a d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu.\" \"No, I'm not.\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"All right, we have to talk.\" \"There it is.\"", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"We didn't change.\"", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"I wanted him to meet my family.\"", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"I just can't stand your friends.\"", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Yeah. He could row like a Viking.\"", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"He says he's really gonna miss you guys.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"If you never smoke again, I'll give you $7000.\"", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "\"Yeah, all right.\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Thumb"}, {"t": "And bigger boobs.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Well, see, you took mine.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "If I were omnipotent for a day, I'd make myself omnipotent forever.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "There's always one guy. \"If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes.\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Probably kill myself.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "If little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Ross, I'm sorry. I had no idea. I thought it was a theoretical question.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Mom and Dad took us to the Grand Canyon?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "My grandmother has a new boyfriend... and they're both kind of insecure in bed, so... And deaf.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "They reassure each other that they're having a good time.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Less than 100 steps from our place to here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "It's funny. My birthday was seven months ago.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "So you had an extra ticket... and couldn't decide who got to bring a date?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Well, aren't we Mr. The-Glass-Is-Half-Empty?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Eleven days before Halloween. All the good costumes are gone?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Sex.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Believe me, I told everyone.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "The hell with hockey! Let's all do that!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "What are you doing? / I have no idea.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Look at the window! There's my name! Hi, me!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "There was a cave-in in a mine, and eight people were killed.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "No, I worked at a Dairy Queen. Why?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "What's FICA? Why's he getting all my money?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "You can totally, totally live on this. / Oh, yeah. Yeah.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Look at you! You're so big! I can't believe it! / I know, I know! I'm a duplex.", "c": ["Kiki", "Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "And you should... really, really... It's time to stop, you look perfect.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Look, look! I have elbows!", "c": ["Kiki"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "She never took them off. It's because we... Sorry, sorry.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Peach pit. / Yes, bunny? / Peach pit. That night, we had... / Peaches? / Actually, nectarines but... / Could've been a peach.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's. / What? I thought we were trying to find stuff.", "c": ["Joey", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Sometimes Arturo lets me put the chocolate blobbies on the cookies.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Well, your mom didn't tell us about the blobbies.", "c": ["Kiki"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "And I brought Operation. But I lost the tweezers so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "That is the unusual activity. They wanna see if you're okay.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "And I'm getting coffee. And it's not even for me!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Rachel has left the building. Can you call back?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "No, Jack and the Beanstalk. / Ah, the other Jack.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "But, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow. I gave up an orthodontist.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Oh, see, Jack did love the cow.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Floopy? / Yeah. / We don't know where we're going. / It's all gonna come together and it's just gonna be un-floopy.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Yeah, like that's a word.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Well, because you just... I don't like this question.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I mean, what if all we've got are beans?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "All you needed were guys hitting each other with sticks.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Well, the label promises nutty goodness.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "But you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "My face is dented.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I don't even have a 'pla.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Wait! Did you say G. Stephanopoulos? / Yeah, this one goes across the street. I gave him yours. Bonehead! Bonehead!", "c": ["Monica", "Pizza Guy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "When you do that, you're only hitting yourself.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "No, pretty much just a towel.", "c": ["Pizza Guy"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Pheebs, who's George Snuffleupagus?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "That's Big Bird's friend.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "That's not for you, bitch!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "That guy with the toe thing, who's he sleeping with?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Now you're gonna be in a wheelchair the rest of your life, pally-wally....", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I am so very sorry. Can I sign you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "And then when you do, he's a preppy animal.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I think Joey's like a little kiddie ride. You just have to put the quarter in and it just goes.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Chandler's one of those repressed guys who you'd have to seduce.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I think it's an act. Chandler is more sophisticated than he seems.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I really don't want to.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "What is it, that she left you for another woman that likes women?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Louder. There's a man on the 12th floor in a coma who didn't hear you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "It was my first time.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Oh, boy. Hockey was a big mistake.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Well, unless goose is a vegetable!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Now I don't feel so bad about sleeping with Jason Hurley.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Anyway, the valentine Tom left in your locker was really from me!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "She was a big girl!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Really? Well, at least big girls don't pee in their pants in seventh grade!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I was laughing. You made me laugh!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Man, can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "You kidding? The guy's a freak. I judge him.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you\u2014", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "Now that was fun.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "We could've played Monopoly, but no!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "I've got magic beans.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The One With George Stephanopoulos"}, {"t": "ROSS: Not a big deal? It's amazing. You just reach in, there's one little maneuver, and bam! A bra. Right out the sleeve. As far as I'm concerned... there is nothing a guy can do that comes close.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "We can? Okay, I'm trying that.", "c": ["MONICA"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "You know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts anytime they want. You just look down, and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.", "c": ["JOEY"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Multiple orgasms!", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "So Saturday night, the big night. Date night! Saturday night. Saturday night!", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "- No plans, huh? - Not a one.", "c": ["ROSS", "CHANDLER"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "You're sitting with her. She has no idea what's happening. You finally get up the courage to do it. There's that awkward moment when you've handed her the note.", "c": ["JOEY"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.", "c": ["JOEY"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "I mean you break up with Janice. I'll break up with Tony. You're breaking up with Tony? I know. He's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore. I don't know if it's me or his hunger strike.", "c": ["MONICA", "CHANDLER"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "What's the matter? Why so scrunchie?", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "That guy, he burns me up. Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home.", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Yeah, I got the extended disco version with three choruses of: 'You'll never make it on your own.' [SINGS] Uh-huh, uh-huh", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "One Mississippi, two Mississippi... three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool.", "c": ["JOEY"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "You look good. Because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs. You don't say.", "c": ["JOEY", "ANGELA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "You wanna hear a freakish coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too? - Who? - Me. Was that not clear?", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Um... But there's a rat problem. Apparently, they're attracted to the dryer sheets. They're going in fine, but they're coming out all... fluffy.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "You go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor. But Bob...", "c": ["ANGELA"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "You and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, um... Monica.", "c": ["JOEY"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Forget it! Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.", "c": ["MONICA"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Oh, God, help us. What? Ugly Naked Guy is laying kitchen tile. BOTH: Ew!", "c": ["MONICA", "RACHEL"], "jt": ["running_gag", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Hold on there, camper. You sure you've thought this through?", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "It's laundry. The thinking through is pretty minimal.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "It's the first time she'll see your underwear. You want it to be dirty?", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Now, what is wrong with my Snuggles? What? It says I'm a sensitive, warm kind of guy. You know, like a little fuzzy bear.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.", "c": ["MONICA"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "That's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car, run over some puppies.", "c": ["MONICA"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Ew. I don't wanna do that.", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "That's it? Yeah, it was really hard. Yeah, the hug looked pretty brutal.", "c": ["CHANDLER", "MONICA"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Excuse me! I was kind of using that machine. Yeah, well, now you're kind of not.", "c": ["RACHEL", "LAUNDRY WOMAN"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Is that your basket? Yes. It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds! What? No suds, no save, okay?", "c": ["LAUNDRY WOMAN", "RACHEL"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "All right. Show's over. Nothing to see here.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "That was amazing! I can't even send back soup.", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "What's that? \u00dcberweiss. It's new. It's German. It's extra tough!", "c": ["ROSS", "RACHEL"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Okay. You caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I'll use the gentle cycle.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Okay, well, these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or with delicates? That would be a judgment call.", "c": ["RACHEL", "ROSS"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "So where did you guys grow up? - Brooklyn Heights. - Cleveland. Ha. Heh, heh, heh.", "c": ["MONICA", "BOB", "ANGELA"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "What? I suddenly had the feeling I was... falling. But I'm not.", "c": ["MONICA"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbley noise she makes when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel... or a weasel.", "c": ["BOB"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "But it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.", "c": ["BOB"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed! Wow! My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity.", "c": ["ANGELA", "JOEY"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "You can do this. It's like pulling off a Band-Aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "It's a song. The laundry song that we sing. [SINGS] Uh-oh, the laundry's done", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "It's just that you left a red sock in with your whites, and now... everything's kind of pink. Everything's pink? Except for the red sock, which is still red.", "c": ["ROSS", "RACHEL"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "God, I'm gonna look like a big Marshmallow Peep!", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Something went wrong with Underdog... and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway... his head is, like, flopping down Broadway.", "c": ["BOB"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Close? She's got her tongue in his ear. Like you've never got a little rambunctious with Ross.", "c": ["MONICA", "JOEY"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us... we can break them up.", "c": ["JOEY"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "[NIBBLING] Waiter? One more plate of chicken wings over here.", "c": ["ANGELA"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst breakup in the history of the world!", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "How do you do that? It's like a gift.", "c": ["CHANDLER", "PHOEBE"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "We should always, always break up together. I'd like that.", "c": ["CHANDLER", "PHOEBE"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart. I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things.", "c": ["RACHEL", "LAUNDRY WOMAN"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Listen, Mitzi, if you want this cart... you're gonna have to take me with it!", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Yes! Did you see that? You were incredible. A brand-new woman, ladies and gentlemen.", "c": ["RACHEL", "ROSS"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "Excellent! We ripped that couple apart and kept the pieces for ourselves.", "c": ["MONICA"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "I'm free! I'm free!", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The East German Laundry Det"}, {"t": "You can spot someone who's never seen his plays. Notice, no fear. No sense of impending doom.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "The exclamation point scares me. It's not just Freud, it's Freud!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "JOEY [IN GERMAN ACCENT]: Well, Eva... we've done some excellent work here.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "All you want is a dinkle / What you envy's a schwang / A thing through which you can tinkle / To play with or simply let hang", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "[ALL GROAN]", "c": ["All"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I feel violated. Did anybody else feel like peeling their skin off to have something else to do?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Ross, 10:00. Is it? It feels like 2. No, 10:00!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "She makes the women I dream about look like short, fat, bald men.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up. He could never get a woman like that in a million years.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "But you always see these beautiful women with these 'nothing' guys. You could be one of those guys.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Hi. Um... Ahem. Okay, next word would be... uh, Chandler. Chandler is my name and, uh... [CLEARS THROAT] Hi!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Yes, you said that. Yes! Yes, I did. But what I didn't say... What I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me? Thank you. Good night.", "c": ["Aurora", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "ROSS: I didn't know you could dance! RACHEL: You were in a play! What'd you think? ROSS: I didn't know you could dance! RACHEL: You were in a play!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "It was better than the troll thing. At least you got to see my head.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "She said yes! She said yes! Awful play, man! Whoa!", "c": ["Chandler", "Unknown person"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Her name's Aurora. She's Italian and she pronounces my name 'Chandler.' I like that better.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "An agency left me its card. Maybe they wanna sign me! Based on this play? Based on this play!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I've been here seven seconds, and you haven't asked me how my date went.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "All right, once... once I got on the subway, right? And it was at night... and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Suddenly, we realized we were in Yemen. I'm sorry, so 'we' is? 'We' is me and Rick. Who's Rick? My husband.", "c": ["Aurora", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. So you're widowed? Hopefully?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "So how would your husband feel about you sitting here with me... sliding your foot so far up my leg... you can count the change in my pocket?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I imagine he'd be okay with you because he's okay with Ethan.", "c": ["Aurora"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Ethan is my... boyfriend.", "c": ["Aurora"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I suppose, mainly sexual.", "c": ["Aurora"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I had trouble with it at first, but I get all the good stuff. All the fun, all the talking, all the sex... and no responsibility. This is every guy's fantasy!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yeah, it is.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "When I'm with a woman, I need to know... that I'm going out with more people than she is.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "You know... monogamy can be a tricky concept. I mean, anthropologically... [ALL SNORING]", "c": ["Ross", "All"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "[ALL SNORING] [ROSS GROANS]", "c": ["All", "Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Ta-da! Are we greeting each other this way now? I like that.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I used all the attachments on the vacuum except for that round one. I don't know what it's for. Nobody knows, and we're not supposed to ask.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "ROSS & PHOEBE: Uh-oh.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "But you know what? Just for fun... let's see what it looked like in the old spot. Just to compare.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman. Thank God you didn't fan out the magazines. She'll scratch your eyes out.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Remember, I lived with you? You were a little, you know... [MIMICS STABBING SOUND FROM 'PSYCHO']", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "All right, you madcap gal! Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away. Why not? Because you're a kook!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Why would someone do that?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "A glass is on the table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink. It's a hot day. Beads of condensation are inching their way closer to the wood... Stop it!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! It's true. Who am I? Monica, you're Mom. [MIMICS STABBING SOUND FROM 'PSYCHO']", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al Pacino movie!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "'I'm out of order? You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order!' Seriously, what's the part? 'Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!'", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I'm his butt double, okay? I play Al Pacino's butt.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "All right? He goes into the shower, and then... I'm his butt.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "After all your years of struggling... you've finally been able to crack your way into show business.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "So are you gonna invite us all to the big opening?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I need to borrow some moisturizer. For what? What do you think? Today's the big day!", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "[CHANDLER YELLS] My eyes! My eyes!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Well, I only have 20 minutes until Ethan, so... Do I sense a bit of resentment?", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Um, Chandler, you know, the old Monica would remind you... to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush. But I'm not gonna do that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, you know? His wife's dead, his brother's missing. I think his butt would be angry here.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "No, actually, I meant my fingers. Look at them. Look at how happy they are.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "So you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself? No, that's not exactly what I was... Most women would kill... for three guys like us.", "c": ["Chandler", "Aurora"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "But there's this other guy. It's the guy who wells up every time the Grinch's heart... grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Sorry, the first guy runs the lips.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "It felt like a 'big guy' moment.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "They said I acted too much with it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Really? Just casually strewn about... in that reckless, haphazard manner?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back. I need help!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Butt"}, {"t": "Phoebe's song performance is abruptly cut off; Chandler's 'What--?' reaction and the scene transition to blackout news suggests the song was terrible or awkwardly received", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Rachel's anxious monologue about who she'll meet in a blackout: 'Power-company guys? Eligible looters?'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Monica says 'What's my number? I never call me' when asked to check on her grandma", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler's internal monologue: 'It's her. It's that Victoria Secret model. Something Goodacre... Jill Goodacre.' Followed by 'I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler's silent response to his own tangent about 'vestibule vs. atrium'\u2014his self-directed: 'Yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler nervous to Jill: 'Oh, some guy. I am some guy.' And Jill's dismissive agreement: 'I don't know. Some guy.' Sets up the running joke of Chandler being nobody to her.", "c": ["Chandler", "Jill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Joey introduces himself: 'Officiating at tonight's blackout is Rabbi Tribbiani.' The beat that follows showing 'Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles' with the group's reaction 'Ooh, look...Oh!...Ooh. That had to hurt.'", "c": ["Joey", "All"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler's nervous attempt to break silence with Jill: tries to smile, realizes he's scaring her, then makes an awkward gesture. Internal monologue: 'Do something. Just make contact. Smile. There you go. You're definitely scaring her.'", "c": ["Chandler", "Jill"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler offers Jill the phone: 'Would you like to call somebody?' Jill responds: 'Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with.'", "c": ["Jill", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "The running sequence of Chandler trying to tell his friends he's trapped with Jill Goodacre but mumbling so badly that no one understands. He tells Monica and Joey in mumbles, they finally understand via Joey's reaction 'He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.'", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "The 'weirdest place' game begins. Monica goes first: 'Senior year of college, on a pool table.' Joey responds: 'Pool table? That's my sister.' Implying he's slept with Monica.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Joey's turn: 'The women's room on the second floor of the New York City Public Library.' Rachel asks: 'What were you doing in a library?' Phoebe's turn: 'Oh, um, Milwaukee.' Implying Phoebe's weirdest sexual experience is simply a location name.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Ross's turn: 'Disneyland, 1989. It's a small world after all.' He clarifies: 'The ride broke down, so Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children. They fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Rachel's turn: She initially refuses, then admits: 'The weirdest place would have to be...the foot of the bed.' Monica says: 'Step back. We have a winner.' Chandler adds: 'I've never had a relationship with that kind of passion.'", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler's extended monologue about Rachel's lack of passion compared to Ross's Disneyland story. Rachel responds: 'Well, Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature-golf course.' Chandler: 'And you didn't marry him because...?'", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel", "Barry (mentioned)"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler delivers a cynical monologue about passion burning out over time, but 'what you're left with is trust and security and, uh...In my ex-wife's case, lesbianism.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler reassures Rachel about her romantic future: 'I see...big passion in your future.' Rachel is touched: 'Ross, you're so great.' Ross's internal response: 'Ah. It's never gonna happen.'", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "The extended 'Friend Zone' conversation: Chandler tells Ross he's in the friend zone. Ross denies it. Chandler escalates: 'No, Ross. You're mayor of the Zone.' Ross claims he's 'laying the groundwork' and will ask Rachel out 'soon.' Chandler: 'Every day I get a little bit closer to, uh...Priesthood.'", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler pressures Ross to confess his feelings to Rachel immediately. Ross resists: 'I'm waiting for the right moment.' Chandler pushes: 'What's the right moment? What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight?' Ross finally admits the conditions are perfect. Chandler: 'You gotta go up to her and say, Look, Rachel, I think--'", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Ross is about to confess to Rachel. Monica, Phoebe, and Joey all loudly shush him from the background. Ross: 'What are we shushing?' Monica: 'We're shushing because we're trying to hear something.' Awkward beat. 'Don't you hear that? Ah.' They all listen to something inaudible (likely a siren or distant noise).", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler is nervous with Jill Goodacre. She offers him gum: 'Would you like some gum?' Chandler asks: 'Is it sugarless?' She: 'Uh, sorry, it's not.' Chandler: 'Then, no, thanks.' Internal monologue: 'What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.'", "c": ["Chandler", "Jill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler's continued self-criticism: 'Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Phoebe's impromptu song about the blackout: 'New York City has no power / And the milk is getting sour / But to me it is not scary / 'Cause I stay away from dairy'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Monica almost leaves the apartment to execute Ross's surprise birthday party plan. Joey stops her: 'You can't go out there. Because of, uh, the reason.' Monica asks what reason. Joey finally confesses: 'He's planning your birthday party.' Rachel hears and says 'Oh, my God. I love him.' Monica realizes Joey already told her, and Joey realizes nobody told him. Monica complains: 'I'm always the last to know everything.' She then lists examples: 'I was the last one to know when Chandler got bit by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last to know you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in.' Rachel responds: 'What? Oh. Looks like I was second to last.'", "c": ["Monica", "Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Ross tries again to confess his feelings to Rachel, beginning with: 'For a while now, I've been wanting to, um...' He's interrupted by Monica suddenly yelling about finding a kitten. Ross's confession attempt collapses.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "The group spontaneously starts singing 'I'm on top of the world' while caring for the kitten. The song is cheerful and earnest.", "c": ["All"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Monica applies what she thinks is Bactine to the kitten: 'All right, this is just Bactine. It won't hurt.' The kitten yells. Monica: 'Ow. Ow. Sorry, that was wax.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Monica worries: 'Poor little Tootie's scared. We should find his owner.' Chandler: 'Why not put poor little Tootie in the hall? During a blackout? She'll get trampled.' Monica: 'Yeah?'", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler's internal monologue about the gum: 'Gum would be perfection? Gum would be perfection. I could have said, Gum would be nice. I'll have a stick. But, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "The group finds a kitten and asks the neighbor (the Mellons) if it's theirs. The neighbor claims yes. Monica asks: 'He seems to hate you. Are you sure?' The neighbor: 'Yeah. It's my cat. Give me my cat.' Monica presses: 'Wait a minute. What's his name?' Neighbor: 'Um, Bob-- Buttons.' Rachel: 'Bob Buttons? Here, Bob Buttons.' The kitten reacts positively to Rachel but not the neighbor. Rachel: 'You are a very bad man. You owe me a cat.'", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Neighbor (Mellon)"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Paolo arrives (a mysterious handsome man speaking Italian). Monica introduces him: 'This is Paolo.' The group reacts with interest. Monica explains: 'He doesn't speak much English.' Joey asks: 'So, uh, where did, uh, Paolo come from? Italy, I think. Heh. No, I mean tonight, in the building? Suddenly into our lives?'", "c": ["Paolo", "Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Monica explains Paolo's arrival: 'The cat turned out to be Paolo's cat. Isn't that funny?' Chandler responds sarcastically: 'That is funny. And Rachel keeps touching him.' Monica repeats the explanation, adding: 'And I'm guessing, since nobody told me, this is Paolo?' implying she's been left out of the loop again.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler mentally coaches himself while sitting with Jill: 'All right. Okay. What next? Blow a bubble. A bubble's good. It's got a, uh, boyish charm. It's impish. Here we go.' He blows a bubble. It pops. His panic: 'Nice going, imp-. Okay. It's okay. All I need to do is reach over and put it back in my mouth. Good save. We're back on track and I'm...chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And now you're choking.'", "c": ["Chandler", "Jill"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "After Chandler chokes and recovers with Jill's help (without him asking), there's an awkward beat. He says: 'Thank you. That was... That was...' Jill: 'Perfection?' Chandler: '[beat] Yes.' The callback is reinforced\u2014Chandler used the word 'perfection' about the gum earlier, and now Jill uses it to describe the choking incident ironically.", "c": ["Chandler", "Jill"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Paolo and Rachel interact while others observe. Monica asks: 'What'd he say that was so funny?' Rachel: 'I have absolutely no idea. That's classic.' Chandler: 'My God, you guys. What am I doing? This is so un-me. If you want, I'll do it. I know. I just wanna bite his bottom lip. But I won't.' Phoebe: 'God. The first time he smiled at me...those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.'", "c": ["Rachel", "Paolo", "Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Ross confronts Paolo: 'Listen, um, heh, something you should, uh, know. Rachel and I are...We're kind of a thing.' Paolo: 'Thing? Thing. Yes, thing. You have the sex?' Ross: 'No, no. Um, technically, the sex is not being had.' Ross continues, stammering through an explanation of why Paolo should stay away. Finally: 'If you get in the way of us becoming a thing...then, uh, I would be, well, very sad.'", "c": ["Ross", "Paolo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Paolo responds to Ross in Italian. Ross: 'Do you know the word crap-weasel? No? That's funny, you are a huge crap-weasel.' This is Ross's insult after his intimidation attempt failed.", "c": ["Ross", "Paolo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler and Monica try to learn how to spin a disk (presumably a romantic skill to impress Jill/others). The sequence shows failed attempts. Then: 'Look, look. The last candle's about to burn out. Ten, nine, eight, seven...minus 46, minus 47, minus 48...' implying the power might come back on, so their romance countdown is absurdly negative.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "The group is in darkness. Joey laughs maniacally. All laugh maniacally. Ross announces: 'Okay, guys, I have the definitive one.' The group expects another joke but there's just Ross's maniacal laugh followed by a groan. Monica then says: 'Uh, Ross...This probably isn't the best time to bring it up...but you have to throw a party for Monica.'", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Joey", "All"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Jill says goodbye to Chandler: 'Well, goodbye, Chandler. I had a great blackout. See you.' The implication is that she'll probably never see him again; she's leaving without exchanging contact info or making plans.", "c": ["Chandler", "Jill"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Chandler's final line to the security camera: 'Hi. Um, I'm account number 7143457. And I don't know if you got any of that...but I would really like a copy of the tape.' He's asking for a recording of his interaction with Jill Goodacre.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Blackout"}, {"t": "Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Ah, you see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'...", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "He's a he?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...", "c": ["Shelley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Um... yeah.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "No, it's just because, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "WHAT IS IT?!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "I'm talking to Rome. I'm talking to Rome.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "What? Nothing. Oh, maybe that's it.", "c": ["Judy Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Not just restaurants, from our house.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "She's not- past, she's present, she's back.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "We're looking into it.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "This almost never happens!", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Yeah, you have homosexual hair.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Twice? Oh, that sucks!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "We checked. A lot.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, you know?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Sure. I just sharpened her this morning.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "So Chandler looks gay, huh?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "You know, I don't know who this is, but it's not Debbie.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Here's my retainer!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "You what? I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun.", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'.", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Well, I think Brian's a little out of your league.", "c": ["Shelley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Because I could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "And where she's going everyone else will be dressier?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Some days it's all I can think about.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings. Oh, you-you mean your earrings? What'd I say?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "It's stuff like that, isn't it?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "You know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream.", "c": ["Judy Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. You're watching a football game at a funeral? No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "What, what is it? You missed a belt loop. Oh! No-n- Okay, it's in spasm.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter. Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is.", "c": ["Unknown woman", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister, I love Pheebs... Chandler!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Rachel. Rachel Rachel. I love you the most.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Just a, uh... hearing disability.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?'", "c": ["Judy Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.", "c": ["Judy Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "I can imagine.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "That little naked guy would be me. Aww, look at the little thing. Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked! Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads.", "c": ["Lowell"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar.", "c": ["Lowell"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no.", "c": ["Lowell"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "He is? Yup, and way out of your league.", "c": ["Chandler", "Lowell"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Out of my league. I could get a Brian. If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. Hey, Brian.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Nana Dies Twice"}, {"t": "Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart! You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful.", "c": ["Terry", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "I hear what you're saying. I'm with you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Does anybody need coffee? -Yeah, over here.", "c": ["Rachel", "Customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Only 98.50 to go!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Yes, I am. As of today, I'm officially Joey Tribbiani, actor/model.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "That's funny. I was thinking you look more like, Joey Tribbiani, man/woman.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "No, but I hear Lyme disease is open, so you know....", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Good luck, man. I hope you get it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "They're not actually supposed to... I'll work on the lumps.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "And her boyfriend. We're celebrating Thanksgiving in December because he's lunar.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Rach, are you gonna make it to Vail? -Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, it was, but I... I broke a cup, so....", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "...ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Well, not mine, but....", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Kind of like a big face without skin. -Yes. I'm familiar with the concept.", "c": ["Ross", "Susan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let you do it.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Wouldn't that mean you're crazy?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "But, we just refer to you as 'Bobo the Sperm Guy.'", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "But you put your head inside this turkey... and we'll all talk and you'll hear everything we say.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Forget shoop, shoop, shoop.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "No. Here's your mail! -Thanks. You can put it on the table! -Would you just open it!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Chandler, got your traditional holiday feast. Tomato soup... grilled-cheese fixings and a family-size bag of Funyuns.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Very difficult to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "This isn't a yam. Yam comes in purple cans. They don't come in these.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Ross, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but back off.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Aramis. Aramis. Aramis. -Yeah, right!", "c": ["Joey", "Kristin"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "You're amazing! You know when to spritz. You know when to lay back.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Nothing.", "c": ["Kristin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Tonight, on a very special Blossom.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Cider's mulling, turkey's turkeying, yams are yamming....", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Get out and stop annoying me! -Oh, that's closer.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Look out! Incoming pumpkin pie!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "We laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "I mean, it's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Tonight's potatoes will be mashed, with lumps and in the form of Tots.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Okay, Mom never hit.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Because then they'd be just like my mom used to make it, before she died.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "An unbelievable thing happened! Underdog got away!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "The balloon? -No, no, the actual cartoon character.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "An 80-foot dog over the city? How often does that happen? -Almost never.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "There is one way that offers a certain acoustical advantage, but....", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "You know, I can't do this. This is... It's too weird. I feel stupid.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "We're waiting for you to open the door. You have the keys. -No, I don't.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "No, I didn't. I asked, 'Got the keys?' -No, no, no. You said, 'Got the keys!'", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "And everyone's telling me, 'You gotta pick a major.' So on a dare, I picked paleontology.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "You're happy you don't have gills anymore.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Here we come, walking down the street, get the funniest looks from everyone we meet. Hey, hey", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, you're my baby and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel then we'll go to the zoo", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, I'm your daddy, I'm the one without any breasts", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "This is great. It's 5:00. My plane is pulling away from the gate.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Tomorrow is not Thanksgiving!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "I got one keyhole and a zillion keys! You do the math.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "If not for your stupid balloon, I'd be on a plane... watching a woman do this... right now. But I'm not!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "That's it! Enough with the keys. No one say keys!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Why would I have the keys?!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his Tots... It's my first Thanksgiving, and I...", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Monica, only dogs can hear you now. Look, the door's open. Here we go.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Potatoes are ruined! Potatoes are ruined! Potatoes are ruined!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "You wanted lumps? Here you go, buddy. You got one!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "We all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Now this feels like Thanksgiving.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "He just sat in gravy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Ugly Naked Guy is having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "All right, Ugly Naked Guy! -Ugly naked dancing!", "c": ["Joey", "Everyone"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "It's nice that he has someone.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "I don't even want to know about the dark cheese.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "You got the bigger half! What did you wish for? -The bigger half.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "...or if you didn't have syphilis and stuff...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "Here's to a lousy Christmas! -And a crappy New Year!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"}, {"t": "And look, Ugly Naked Guy is hanging candy canes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Where? Oh. Well. That's festive.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "That is so cruel. Why would a parent name their child Bethel?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "That monkey's got a Ross on his ass.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "You reach a certain age, having a roommate is just kind of pathet", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "That's 'pathet.' Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I'm doing new material tonight. I have 12 songs about my mother's suicide and one about a snowman.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "You might wanna open with the snowman.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "He's not even jolly. It's all political.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "...of finding lips to kiss when the ball drops!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Man, I'm talking loud!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "-I'll be just as pathetic as you. -Yeah, you wish.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I've got an idea. Dinner. It's perfect. We'll put it between lunch and breakfast.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I was hoping for more enthusiasm.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I made a man with eyes of coal / And a smile so bewitching / How was I supposed to know / That my mom was dead in the kitchen?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "My mother's ashes / Even her eyelashes / Are resting in a little yellow jar", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "And sometimes when it's freezing / I feel a little sneezy / And now I\u2014 Excuse me? Excuse me? Yeah, noisy boys.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Is it something you'd like to share with the group?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "That guy's going home with a note.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I said I liked her in Splash, but not Wall Street. I thought she had a hard quality.", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "While Daryl is beautiful in a conventional way... you are luminous with a kind of delicate grace.", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "That guy's going home with more than a note.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. By my sixth date with Paolo, he'd already named both my breasts.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Did I just share too much? Just a smidge.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "He's kind of like the guy I went to see that with. Except he's smarter and gentler and sweeter.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I just wanna be with him all the time. You know, day and night. And night and day. And special occasions.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "This was a pact! This was your pact! I couldn't handle the pressure. I snapped!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Too many jokes.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Must mock Joey.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Nice shoes, huh? God, you're killing me!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "It has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean. He threw some feces.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "But make sure it seems like you're there to see him. You're not doing it for me. Okay. But if he asks, I'm not going to lie.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Do you plan on kissing me ever?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "But I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss... at a phenomenal moment because it's you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Now, it's just gotta be one of those things where I... sweep everything off the table. And I'm not really a sweeping sort of fella.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I mean, you're a sweeper trapped inside a physicist's body.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "You know what? This is really expensive. And this was a gift.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Now you're just tidying up.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "You want me to throw you? I can hop.", "c": ["David", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "You know more than one Fun Bobby? I happen to know a Fun Bob.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "There's no room for milk. There. Now there is.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "What's an elf to do?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "So I'll be the only one alone when the ball drops? We'll have a big party, and no one will know who's with who. I'll know.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "He's walking around all the time, dragging his hands.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "What juggling thing? With the socks? I figured you taught him that. No. It wasn't that big a deal. Just socks. And a melon.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Minsk? Minsk. It's in Russia. I know where Minsk is.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Max", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "And if you're gonna do Minsk, that's the way to go.", "c": ["Max"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Tell her. 'I don't wanna go... to work with Lipson, Yamaguchi and Flank. I wanna stay and make out with my girlfriend!'", "c": ["Max"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Getting so good at that! It was Max's stuff.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I love this artichoke thing. Don't tell me what's in it. The diet starts tomorrow.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "You remember Janice. Vividly.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Now. It's amazing. We've been back together for what... like 10 minutes, and\u2014 Is that all?", "c": ["Janice", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "It's like we were never apart. Of course, we were, but\u2014 Forgive and forget. Well, forget.", "c": ["Janice", "Chandler", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "You brought your kids. Yeah. That's okay, right? Party!", "c": ["Joey", "Sandy", "Kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "That thing is not coming in here! This is how you greet guests? If I showed up with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome?", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "He was more embarrassed about that than anyone.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Where's Paolo? Rome. Jerk missed his flight.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "And then your face exploded? No.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "...when this woman, this blond planet with a pocketbook... starts yelling.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "And I was blowing my attack whistle thingy... and three more cabs show up.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "That looks okay, right? You went a bit wide on the lipstick. Oh, I did? Yeah. It's hard for me to tell. My eye's closing up.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "When I saw you at the store last week... it was the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.", "c": ["Sandy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Wow, that's dirty. Yeah.", "c": ["Joey", "Sandy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "He doesn't have to spend the whole evening with me... but at least check in.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Smile. You're on Janice Camera.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Kill me. Kill me now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Hey, sorry I'm late. But my grandfather... died about two hours ago. But I couldn't get a flight out till tomorrow, so here I am.", "c": ["Fun Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Hey, Fun Bobby! How's it going, man? Whoa! Who died?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "It's gonna be an open casket, you know? So at least I'll get to see him again.", "c": ["Fun Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Bobby? Fun Bobby?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "But you're really bringing the party down.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I'm gonna blow this one up and write 'Reunited' in glitter.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "You listen to me! You listen to me! One of these times, it's just gonna be your last chance with me!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Hi, Max. Yoko.", "c": ["David", "Max"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "It won't be the same... but it will still be Minsk.", "c": ["Max"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just for me. If I go, I have to break up with you. And I can't break up with you.", "c": ["Phoebe", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Just say, 'Phoebe, I love you, but my work is my life. That's what I have to do.' And I say, 'Your work? How can you say that?' Then you say, 'I have no choice. Can't you understand that?' And I say, 'No! No! I can't understand that!'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I'm gonna miss you, you scientist guy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "And then the peacock bit me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Please kiss me at midnight!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "You seen Sandy? I don't know how to tell you this... but she's in the bedroom getting it on with Max. Oh, I did know how to tell you.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Everybody looks so happy. I hate that! Not everybody is happy. Hey, Bobby!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I thought I'd throw this out. I'm no math whiz... but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight. I can't kiss anyone. So, I'm kissing everyone? No, you can't kiss Ross. That's your brother.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe", "Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "So now everybody's getting kissed but me. Somebody kiss me. Somebody kiss me! It's midnight! Somebody kiss me!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I wanted this to work so much. I'm still in there. Changing his diapers. Picking his fleas. But he's just phoning it in.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "It's hard that something you love so much doesn't love you back.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "I think that bitch cracked my tooth.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Monkey"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Don't look now. Behind you there's a guy who can break our hearts and plunge us into depression.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Come to mama.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "We should do something. Whistle. / I'm not whistling.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "I can't believe you did that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Why did I whoo-hoo? Was I hoping he'd turn around and say 'I love that sound. I must have you now'?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Get up, you Girl Scout! Up, up, up!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "It's so sad. It's like he's a deer, a female deer.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Oh, I was gonna stop.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Even sleeping he looks smart. Yeah, but the dents in his knuckles mean he's artistic.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "He's a lawyer who teaches sculpting on the side.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "And he can dance. And he's the kind of guy who, when you're talking, he's listening, not saying 'I understand' but really wondering what you look like naked.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "You don't even know this guy. Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "I can't believe you said 'whoo-hoo.' I don't even say 'whoo-hoo.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Put the kids to bed for this one. Don't watch this. Weekend at Bernie's is on Showtime and HBO.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Dead guy getting hit in the groin 20, 30 times.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "You wouldn't think so if you were 11 and your friends were passing around page 79 of Mistress Bitch.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "I remember page 79. The thing after the opera with the girl with the trick hip?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "When did 'Rigatoni' get back from Rome?", "c": ["Nora"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "So, his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire? Just a dream I had. But, phew!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Your mom was arrested? I'm busy beaming with pride.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Why would she say that's embarrassing? ...I just get this craving for kung pao chicken.", "c": ["Joey", "Nora on TV"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Needless to say, he got a huge tip.", "c": ["Nora on TV"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I love her! I think I'm having a stroke.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "I bought my son his first condoms.", "c": ["Nora on TV"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "And then he burst into flames.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "And teams played sports.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Please, God, don't let it be kung pao chicken.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "I think you need to come out of your shell.", "c": ["Nora"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "I heard about the divorce. Lesbian, huh?", "c": ["Nora"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Well, you know what they say: Be careful what you wish for.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "But a man can change.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Anyone want me to appraise anything?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Well, I'm gonna go to tinker-town.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Start with half a dozen European cities, throw in 30 euphemisms for male genitalia, and you've got yourself a book.", "c": ["Nora"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "It's the Italian hand-licker, isn't it? No. It's the one he's licking.", "c": ["Nora", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "He's just a complication you eventually kill off. When?", "c": ["Nora", "Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "I'll just pee in the street.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Right. No big deal. In bizarro world.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "You broke the code. What code? You don't kiss your friend's mom. Sisters are okay. Maybe a hot-looking aunt. But not a mom. Never a mom.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But apparently somebody overslept.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Well, you don't have your racquet. No. No, I don't because it's being restrung. Somebody was supposed to bring me one. Well, you didn't call and leave your grip size.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "You guys are spending way too much time together.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "I'll have you know, Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "He forgot to leave his grip size. He didn't get the goggles.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "What are you guys doing here? He's not even wearing a jock strap.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Really? Not even to change his pajamas?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Mrs. Mom, your Bing", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "You know, knowledge is a tricky thing.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "I didn't kiss her. See what happens when you break the code?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "And there's no 'J' in 'engorged.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Just try to picture her not pregnant.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "You don't have to be awake to be my man / Long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "All right, there, mother-kisser?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "You kissed my mom.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "We're rehearsing a Greek play.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Okay, that's my finger. Okay, that's my knee. Still doing the play.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "This is so typical. You know, we give and we give and we give. And we just get nothing back. And then one day, you wake up, and it's, 'See you around.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "But I guess it was just the coma.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "You kissed my best Ross.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "The question is, when are you gonna realize I have a bomb? Are you sure she didn't say: 'When are you gonna grow up and realize I am your mom?' That makes more sense.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "And on page two, he's not reaching for her 'heaving beasts.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "What's a 'niffle'? You can usually find them on the heaving beasts.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Did you get to the part about his 'huge, throbbing pens'?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "You don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Wait, I just got to the part about her 'public hair.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Mrs. Bing"}, {"t": "Ross starts singing The Odd Couple theme song", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Chandler joins in the singing", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Monica & Phoebe join in the singing", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 3.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "No, no, we're done. We're done, man.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Well, the meat's only every third layer. Maybe you could scrape.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Yep. You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus...no compass...and I could find my way out like that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "It says in some parts of the world people actually eat the placenta.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "And we're done with the yogurt.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Hi, Daddy. Hello. How come you don't live with Mommy?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "How come Mommy lives with that other lady?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "What's a lesbian?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "It's like 'poke a nose.' Ah. Poke a nose.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Paolo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "[IN UNISON] Blah, blah, blah.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...flung by now?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "I mean, when I'm with him, I'm just totally, totally...Nauseous. I'm physically nauseous.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "I could call Immigration.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Okay, you're gonna have to stop that...forever.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Need a new table. You think?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Uh, that's our friend Tanya. Of course it's your friend Tanya.", "c": ["Carol", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together. But when you throw in Tanya...[GROANS]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "The sex of the baby, Ross. Oh. You know the sex of the baby?", "c": ["Carol", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Or isn't.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "I believe this piece of furniture was fine...until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "The impressions you made in the butter...left little to the imagination.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "We bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married...and things got pretty ugly.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum.", "c": ["Jasmine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Ooh, oops! Being naked.", "c": ["Paolo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Or an uncle.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "I'm familiar with his work, yes.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under there.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "So what? Like people are gonna come in and think, 'Uh-oh, I'm outside again.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "I don't know. Birds just don't say: 'Hello, sit here. Eat something.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Oh, so forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Kip would've liked the birds.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "I don't make them a lot...because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Which proves that I never lie.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "So how does this work? Gonna balance the plates on these little heads?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Who cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come on.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Pig man. Yes, good. Okay. Oh, but he was my pig man.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "You're like... Like the anti-Paolo. My Catholic friend is right.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Okay, that is either, 'How could you?' Or 'Enormous breasts.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel. But I still have five of these...so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Ross, you're so great. Oh, ha, ha.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "[STAMMERING] Am I having a boy? You're having a boy. Aah! I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "[IN UNISON] We already knew that.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "Yes. And that would be a shutdown. [IN UNISON] Shutout!", "c": ["Chandler", "Multiple"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "You guys are always hanging out in my apartment. Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "One more game? Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Dozen Lasagnas"}, {"t": "You barge in here and you don't knock? You have no respect for privacy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "That's a relatively open weave. I can still see... your nippular areas.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "That's pretty much it. But you tell it really well, sweetie.", "c": ["Roger", "Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Now go away so we can talk about you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Think you'll do it on his couch? I don't know. That's a little weird. It's vinyl.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Could I have...? We're all out. Anybody else?", "c": ["Customer", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "It was an accident. I wasn't across the street with a telescope.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "These aren't her 'boobies.' These are her breasts.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "I always liked 'Bazoombas.' Gives them a Latin spin.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "'Nice'? They were 'nice'? That's it? I mean, mittens are 'nice.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Okay. Rock, hard place. Me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "I wouldn't wanna be there when the laughter stops.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Whoa, back up there, sparky.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "I mean, I just met you. I don't know you from Adam. Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "How did you know that? It's textbook.", "c": ["Chandler", "Roger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "What happened to the puppet guy? Dad.", "c": ["Joey's Dad", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Oh, excuse me. So, Ross, how's the wife? 0 for 2, huh?", "c": ["Joey's Dad"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Chandler, say something funny.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "[Chandler says nothing after being asked to be funny]", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Did you know this isn't Ma?", "c": ["Joey's Dad"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.", "c": ["Joey's Dad"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "You're having an affair, I chop garlic. It's a wacky world.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "I don't know. Then you haven't.", "c": ["Joey", "Joey's Dad"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "You're burning tomatoes. You're one to talk.", "c": ["Joey's Dad", "Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "It's like if you woke up and found out your dad leads this double life. He's like actually some spy working for the CIA. That'd be cool. This blows!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Do you think Dad cheated? I don't think so. That would involve sex.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Why can't parents just stay parents? Why do they have to become people?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Since you saw her boobies you have to show her your pee-pee.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Come on. He's right. Tit for tat.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not showing you my tat!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "What's the matter with Rog? It's a little thing. I hate that guy!", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "You're wrong! Why would I marry her if I thought that she was a lesbian? I don't know. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.", "c": ["Ross", "Roger"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Wait! Go back to that 'sibling' thing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "That's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures. You think I'm a failure?", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Isn't he good?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "I married a lesbian to make you look good!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "It wasn't just the Weebles, but the Weeble Play Palace and the Weeble's Cruise Ship with this lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "That's tough, tough stuff.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Mon, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "I hate that guy!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Oh, look. It's the woman we ordered.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Oh, no, not you. Big Joey.", "c": ["Ronni"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! You're so much cuter than your pictures.", "c": ["Ronni"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Cheese Nip? Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a nip.", "c": ["Ronni", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Most people, when their pets pass on, want them like they're sleeping. Occasionally you get a person who wants them in a pose. Like chasing their tail. Or jumping to catch a Frisbee.", "c": ["Ronni"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Oh, you left your hair at my place. I thought you'd need it tomorrow.", "c": ["Ronni"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff. I want you here so I can keep an eye on you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "As long as you are under my roof, you're gonna live by my rules. That means no sleeping with your girlfriend.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Wow, he's strict.", "c": ["Ronni"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Oh, bunking up. If you smell s'mores, don't be alarmed.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "That sounds weird not followed by, 'No, it's late.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Hey, kickie!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "I can't sleep in my underwear. Well, you're gonna.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Are they end-to-end, or tall, like pancakes?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "When they wanted you in your father's business, did you cave? No. You chose the out-of-work-actor business.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Thanks, Chandler. Get off!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Joey said I could use your shower since Chandler's in ours. Okay. Who are you? Oh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono. The mistress?", "c": ["Ronni", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Perfect. Fasten your seat belts, it's pee-pee time.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "What's with you? I thought it was Chandler!", "c": ["Mr. Tribbiani", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "You were supposed to be in there so I'd see your thing!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Sorry, my thing was in there with me.", "c": ["Mr. Tribbiani"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Don't you think it's just that he's so perceptive it freaked you out? No, we hate him!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross and Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Ma! What are you doing here? I came to give you this and this!", "c": ["Joey", "Mrs. Tribbiani"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Big ring!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard his stories. 'I'm sleeping over at my accountant's.' What is that? Please!", "c": ["Mrs. Tribbiani"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Now he's happy. I mean, it's nice. He has a hobby.", "c": ["Mrs. Tribbiani"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her and your father would look like Sting.", "c": ["Mrs. Tribbiani"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive.", "c": ["Mrs. Tribbiani"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "You're 10 times prettier than she is. That's sweet. Could I take her? With this ring, no contest.", "c": ["Mrs. Tribbiani", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Intense and creepy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "You know, this kind of codependent, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups, which might as well have nipples on them.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "And you're all like, 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me! I need love!'", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "And my sister, Tina, can't see her husband. He got a restraining order. Which has nothing to do with it. I found out today.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Things have changed here on Walton's Mountain.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "If I turn into my parents, I'll be an alcoholic blond chasing men, or I'll end up like my mom!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "I broke up with Roger. Yeah, right. No, no, really.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "In some ways, I think he is so right for me. It's just... I hate that guy!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Clear the tracks for the boobie payback. Next stop, Rachel Greene.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Joey, what the hell were you doing? Sorry, wrong boobies!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "Hello, Joey! Hello, dear!", "c": ["Joey", "Mr. Tribbiani"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The One With The Boobies"}, {"t": "She barely knows me. We just live in the same building. - Any contact? - She lent me an egg once. You're in.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Ross's nervous chuckle after greeting", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Here's your egg back. I'm returning your egg.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "I think it's winning. - I think it's insane. - She'll love it.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Think it'll work? - It's suicide. The man's got an egg.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "You can go out with a creep any night of the year. I know I do.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Pathetic mess. I know, but... Come on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinking: [MIMICS CASH REGISTER]", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "How do I look? - Oh, um... I don't care.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Oh... my... God.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm making a break for it. I'm going out the window.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "I can't go when I'm nervous.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "[MIMICS SOBBING] 'Oh, was it good for you?'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "'I win. I win.' I went out with him for two months. I didn't get to win once.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "I think we're like some kind of magnets. I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "You know... ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.", "c": ["Kristen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "By the way, Chandler, I cut you out of all of my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "And you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is. But I definitely want to be a part of it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "I hope she throws up on you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Although I have enjoyed the fact that your shirt's been sticking out of your zipper since you came back from the bathroom.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Joey's not a friend. He's... a stupid man who left us his credit card.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "A bottle of your most overpriced champagne. - Each. - That's right. Each. Oh. And a, uh, Rob Roy. I've always wanted to know.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "I'm just saying if dogs do experience jet lag, then... because of the whole seven-dog-years-to-one-human-year thing... that when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles... he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses, like, a week and a half.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "You mean they're lovers? If you want to put a label on it.", "c": ["Kristen", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "All I had is oregano and a Fresca.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Huh. Okay, Pheebs, if we had that... we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "A picture of Scotty Jared, naked. - Let me see. He's wearing a sweater. - No.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Wait. Isn't it almost pure...? [ALL SCREAM]", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Oh, man. In my next life I'm coming back as a toilet brush.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Kristen does something... that, funnily enough... wasn't even her major.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Wow, that guy's hairier than the chief.", "c": ["Fireman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "You're our third call tonight. Sure. Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.", "c": ["Fireman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "I brought you something. Is it loaded?", "c": ["Janice", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Oh, little candy hearts. 'Chan and Jan forever.' I had them made special.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "You love me, Chandler Bing.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice. Janice.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "You know, this is still pretty hot.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Let's say you and I give it another shot. - Ross. No, no, I know what you're gonna say. You're a lesbian.", "c": ["Ross", "Carol"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Let's just stick a pin in it, okay?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "It's time to take the pin out.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "I'll even let you ring the bell. Wohoo!", "c": ["Fireman", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "You tell them you're married? - No way. My girlfriend doesn't know. I'm not gonna tell them.", "c": ["Fireman 1", "Fireman 2"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Candy Hearts"}, {"t": "Why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Miss Tedlock, you're looking lovely today. May I say that is a very flattering sleeve length on you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "If this is about those prank memos, I had nothing to do with them. Nothing at all. Really. Nothing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Never mind. But it was gonna be really good.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "So I quit.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Was it a lot more money? Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be a guy who sits in his office worrying about the WENUS.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "'The WENUS?' Weekly estimated net usage system. It's a processing term.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Oh, that WENUS.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "I just don't have a lot of chefing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Thanks. I just don't see myself in a big white hat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Can you see my nipples through this shirt?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Where you going, Mr. Suit-ey Man? I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pilman, career counselor-a-go-go! I added the 'a-go-go.'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "I don't have a dream! The lesser known 'I Don't Have a Dream' speech.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Brian's Song!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "What are you gonna make? Yummy noises. And, Monica, what are you gonna make?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "You should make that thing with the stuff. You know... that thing with the stuff?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free. Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "I love you, Ross.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "He's not speaking metaphorically.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "I tell you, that monkey's a chick magnet. She's gonna look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "We're talking about whipped fish. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "You're suited for data processing for a large multinational corporation.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "That's so great because you already know how to do that!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "You can see your nipples through this shirt.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "The French call it an amuse-bouche. Well, it is amusing.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "And I'm maintaining my amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Talk dirty. Come on. Say something... hot! Vulva.", "c": ["Phone sex caller", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "'Vulva?' All right, I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise. But it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Whoa, you cuddled? How many times?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Come on, come on. All right, ready? Oh, Ross... you get me so hot, I want your lips on me now. See? Now you say something.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Tell me you want to caress my butt! Okay, turn around. I don't want you staring at me while I do this.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Say it! Say it! --run it all over your body... until you're trembling with--", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "It's okay. It's okay. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You got the wrong guy!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Oh, look! That guy's peeing!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Last time I do that. I promise.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "In the cab on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie. Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm with you, Cheech.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are fantastic!", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "'Tartlets?' 'Tartlets.' Word has lost all meaning.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "These are-- They are like a little corn envelope, you know?", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this!", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Bears overboard! They're drowning! Hey, fellas! Grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves! Help! Help! I'm drowning! Help!", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this... and you can't even wait 4 1/2 minutes for a tartlet?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines... themes, a motif. At one point, there were villagers.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Yes, Fran, I know what time it is... but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "Oh, the throb!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Stoned Guy"}, {"t": "If this was a cartoon, you'd be looking like a ham right about now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Phoebe appearing as their waitress when they call for service", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "I was over there... then you said, 'Excuse me, miss.' So now I'm here.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Because it's close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Phoebe literally walking away when they ask to 'start over'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "My monkey is out of control.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, I've done that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "I've never done that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "They're twins. / I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "You know that thing when we talk about things? Let's not do that anymore.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Look, this could be a really long game.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "So, um, is she fat?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Not from where I was standing. / Where were you standing?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "She was the first to walk... even though I did it later that same day.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "To my parents, by then it was, 'Yeah, what else is new?'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, and I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "We've got dads. We've got lesbians. The whole parenting team.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Ross, that's my jacket. / I know.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Good for you. Alrighty, next?", "c": ["Lamaze Teacher"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Ross's mumbled explanation of Susan", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Like buddies. / Like lovers. / You know how close women can get.", "c": ["Ross", "Susan", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "So, twins. Ha. That's like two births. Ouch.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Chandler mimicking intercom buzz", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Won't happen again. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your... WENUS.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "You don't dip your pen in the company ink.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, cool. Urkel in Spanish is Urkel.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Well, someone was supposed to write: 'Rach, take down the lights,' and put it on the refrigera...", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Score.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "So that if we went out on a date, she'd be there.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "I mean, it's true, we were one egg once.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Do you wanna watch Laverne y Shirley?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "I'm gonna play my sperm card one more time.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Now imagine your vagina is opening... like a flower.", "c": ["Lamaze Teacher"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s.", "c": ["Mr. Dee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "I slept funny and my hair was snarly.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Please don't hate me. / What? / Would you like to have dinner sometime?", "c": ["Chandler", "Nina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? / Bath salts would be nice.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "I think we have an answer.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Hi, it's us. / Right. And it's me.", "c": ["Monica", "Ursula"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "So you're here too? / As much as you are. / Your turn.", "c": ["Monica", "Ursula", "Ursula"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Congratulations. I think you found the world's thinnest argument.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Sweetheart, you're fired. But how about a quickie before I go to work?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "You don't even have cats. / I could have cats.", "c": ["Rachel", "Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no. It's for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "I've never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Well, maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Knit, good woman. Knit. Knit.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Dr. Flanen... Dr. Flanan, Dr. Flan.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "That's unbelievable. / And yet believable.", "c": ["Mr. Dee", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Well, I guess that's why they call it psychology, sir.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "It'll have to stay in, that's all. Everything will be the same. It'll just stay in.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "I just never realized the baby was having me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that monkeys and babies are actually different.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "You meant sex, right?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "I am? / Sure. Why not?", "c": ["Nina", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "What? / Helen drinks.", "c": ["Chandler", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Never, ever leave your hand on the desk.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "When I was 8, I wouldn't let her have my Judy Jetson Thermos... so she threw it under the bus.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "I mean, I know Joey's not my boyfriend or my Thermos... or anything, but...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "Okay. Oh. Okay. Oh.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "No, no, no. You wanted me to take them down... so I'm taking them down, okay?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.", "c": ["Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Two Parts (1)"}, {"t": "My God, you still have your Christmas lights up?", "c": ["Hospital Worker"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely gonna want some of that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "That's insurance fraud. / Well, all right, then. Forget it. Might as well just go home.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "You are an idiot. / Yep, that's me. Heh. I am that stupid.", "c": ["Hospital Worker", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "I'm on this field, and they hike me the baby.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "What are you, crazy? That's a baby. / He should take the sack?", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Only if you order stuff.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "You take your time.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Man, if you tried that on my birthday... you'd be staring at the business end of a hissy fit.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor? / Excuse me? / God, young, young. I meant young, heh.", "c": ["Rachel", "Dr. Mitchell"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "It's like returning to the scene of the crime.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "They are doctors. Cute doctors. Doctors who are cute.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap out of me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Was that the cake? / Yeah. / I got a lemon shmush.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Happy Birthday, Peehee.", "c": ["Cake"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Maybe we can make a B out of one of those roses. / Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "This was not at all scary.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Five years ago, if somebody'd said to me, 'Here's a tomato that looks like a prune'... I'd have said, 'Get out of my office.'", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "You were this ugly little red thing.", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Look at this. It's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine. So how could we resist?", "c": ["Dr. Mitchell"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "There are no pagan altars. No piles of bones in the corners.", "c": ["Dr. Rosen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Every day you are becoming more and more like your mother.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Well, this hummus is great. God bless the chickpea.", "c": ["Dr. Mitchell"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "I am so spoiled. / That's it.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "I used to wet my bed. / I use my breasts to get other people's attention. / We both do that.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Remember back in freshman year? Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "His father tried to put you out of business. You are dead.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "You're that stupid. / I am. I'm that stupid.", "c": ["Hospital Worker", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "You got zero points for 'idney.' / I had a K. Where's my K?", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy... he touches himself when nobody's watching.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Don't say 'listen.' I know that 'listen.' I've said that 'listen.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "You don't drink. / That's right, I don't. But I was drunk on you.", "c": ["Joey", "Ursula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, the doctor got the K out. He also found an M and an O. We think he was trying to spell out 'monkey.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Two Parts (2)"}, {"t": "You're not the guy that asked for tea, are you?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Oh, good. Because where else would we get any?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Lucky... ...to have had a friend like you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "He's mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "The whole penis embargo?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "...gets interrupted.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "...and buses going really fast!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Hugh! Hugh Grant!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Unclench. You're not even gonna be here.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "I added the 'exactly like me' part.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "I can't remember the last time a girl took care of my monkey.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Take her back to the 1890s when that phrase was last used.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Marcel, did you poo in the shoe?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "A little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Why is the air in here so negative?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "I'll go to Cats. You go to the Russian Tea Room.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Spray Lysol in my shoe and wait for Ross to kill you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "I wasn't ready for it.", "c": ["Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "...with Russian dressing and pickles on the side.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "...the murder capital of the Northeast", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "You should have started with a pencil.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "We thought we had a monkey, but we didn't. -Turned out it was a hat. -Cat!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "You'd put that poor little creature in jail?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Would it have been hard to say, 'Morning, Luisa' or 'Nice overalls'?", "c": ["Luisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "It's not so much you. You were fat. You had your own problems.", "c": ["Luisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Of course! -Oh. Then, no.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "We do have expertise in the heating and cooling milieu.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "And they're very hot!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "From now on, you don't get to talk to other people.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Oh, it's okay. It was just my left leg.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "You want me to break my foot too? I'll break it right now.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "...I don't miss Marcel anymore!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "You're off in 'Rachel Land,' doing your 'Rachel Thing'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "One side of my butt is totally asleep and the other side has no idea.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Potassium.", "c": ["Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "That's not my monkey. The dress is mine. Send it back whenever.", "c": ["Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "You had to be a bitch in school, instead of fat.", "c": ["Luisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "...you shot my friend with a dart!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "With the right pumps, that would be a great little outfit.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "The neighbors must be vacuuming.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "We have got to start locking that door!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "I thought that was an alp.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "My butt cheek is waking up!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The One With All The Poker"}, {"t": "You're not the guy that asked for tea, are you?", "c": ["Unknown waiter/server"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Oh, good. Because where else would we get any?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Oh, right.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Barry, who you almost... And Mindy, your maid of... Let me see. That's Mindy? She is pretty! Lucky... ...to have had a friend like you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "He's mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "'Bring me the' and... Rach?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Whoa, what... What happened to 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole penis embargo?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "In fact, it's funny. Often, someone you wouldn't think could... ...curl your toes... ...might just be the one who... ...gets interrupted.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with guns and bombs... ...and buses going really fast!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "I don't need violence in a movie... ...as long as there's a little nudity. -There was nudity. -I meant female nudity. I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Hugh! Hugh Grant!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "I can't believe we're discussing this. -I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "She said she wants a relationship with someone exactly like me. She said that? I added the 'exactly like me' part.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "I can't remember the last time a girl took care of my monkey.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Know what you should do? Take her back to the 1890s when that phrase was last used.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Now, she used to be a man. Look, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Marcel, did you poo in the shoe?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Sorry, Barry. A little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one? I don't know. The left one! Which ones? Those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Rachel", "Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Why is the air in here so negative?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Rachel lost Marcel. Oh, no! How? -He pooped in my shoe. -Which one? The cute black ones I always wear. No, which one? The right or left? Because the left one is lucky.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe", "Rachel", "Phoebe", "Rachel", "Phoebe", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "All right. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go? It's his first time out, so he'll do touristy things. I'll go to Cats. You go to the Russian Tea Room.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "You stay here and wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe and wait for Ross to kill you. Does anybody want to trade?", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "I left a Belgian waffle out here. Did you take it? -Why'd you leave it in the hall? -I wasn't ready for it.", "c": ["Mr. Heckles", "Monica", "Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Have you seen a monkey? I saw Regis Philbin once.", "c": ["Monica", "Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "He's a black capuchin monkey with a white face... ...with Russian dressing and pickles on the side.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Okay, but before we head off to the murder capital of the Northeast...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "I know. I'm sorry. It's partially my fault. I shouldn't have had you start with a monkey. You should have started with a pencil.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "You know, that was a complete misunderstanding. We thought we had a monkey, but we didn't. -Turned out it was a hat. -Cat!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! You'd put that poor little creature in jail?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first? Yes, but there isn't always time.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Would it have been hard to say, 'Morning, Luisa'... ...or 'Nice overalls'?", "c": ["Luisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm so sorry! It's not so much you. You were fat. You had your own problems. But you. What a bitch!", "c": ["Luisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Go, Bobcats! I could. But I won't. If I find that monkey, he's mine.", "c": ["Luisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "-A monkey. -Yes, have you seen any? No, I haven't seen a monkey. Can you fix radiators?", "c": ["Joey", "Hot woman", "Hot woman", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Sure! Did you try turning the knob back the other way? -Of course! -Oh. Then, no.", "c": ["Chandler", "Hot woman", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "We may not know about radiators... ...but we do have expertise in the heating and cooling milieu.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Aren't we in the middle of something? But these women are very hot, and they need our help. And they're very hot!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "He's this high and answers to the name Marcel. So if we could get pictures of you, it'd help us out.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "From now on, you don't get to talk to other people.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Oh, it's okay. It was just my left leg.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Oh, gosh!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "It's cold, it's dark. He doesn't know the Village! And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey and a broken foot!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "You want me to break my foot too? I'll break it right now. Oh, my God! There, are you happy now? Yeah, now that you kicked the sign... ...I don't miss Marcel anymore!", "c": ["Rachel", "Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "It's not like I did this on purpose. No, this is just vintage Rachel. Things just sort of happen around you! You're off in 'Rachel Land,' doing your 'Rachel Thing'... ...oblivious to people's monkeys or to people's feelings and...", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Hey, banana man!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "This is so intense! One side of my butt is totally asleep and the other side has no idea.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "-Then what's with the bananas? Potassium.", "c": ["Ross", "Banana man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Are you insane? Come here, Marcel. Come here, Patty. Come here, Marcel. Come here, Patty. Here, monkey. Here, monkey!", "c": ["Ross", "Organ grinder"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "That's not my monkey. The dress is mine. Send it back whenever.", "c": ["Organ grinder"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "All right, I want my monkey! -Oh, come on, Luisa. -Sorry, prom queen. You had to be a bitch in school, instead of fat.", "c": ["Ross", "Luisa", "Rachel", "Luisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "In high school, I was prom queen... ...and the homecoming queen and you... ...were also there.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Heckles! Can I have this? For the most part.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "All right. Then I'll call your supervisor and tell her... ...you shot my friend with a dart!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "It'll be nice to get this off, won't it? Or we can leave it on. That's fine. With the right pumps, that would be a great little outfit.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Are you in the mood for something grape?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "The neighbors must be vacuuming.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Barry? I can't do it. I can't marry Mindy. I think I'm still in love with you.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "We have got to start locking that door!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids? That's because I'm in front of them. Big nun! I thought that was an alp.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "Well, I went to boarding school with 400 boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "My butt cheek is waking up!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where The Monkey Gets Away"}, {"t": "I'd much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty.", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "No way. Mr. Salty is a sailor. He's gotta be the toughest snack there is.", "c": ["Character B"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I don't know. You don't wanna mess with Cornnuts. They're crazy.", "c": ["Character C"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I feel violated. And not in a good way.", "c": ["Character D"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "You guys, look. Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots.", "c": ["Character E"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Have you called her? She'd know I like her. That's crazy.", "c": ["Character F"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "How needy do I wanna seem? I'm right. Right?", "c": ["Character F"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I can't believe my parents are pushing me to find one of you people.", "c": ["Character G"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat.", "c": ["Character H"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "No, interestingly, her leaf blower picked up.", "c": ["Character I"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I ended up using the phrase, 'Yes, indeed-io.'", "c": ["Character F"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Does he look like he was told to shove anything?", "c": ["Character J"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "That man across the street just kicked that pigeon.", "c": ["Character K"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.", "c": ["Character L"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I had that chicken, where you poke it and butter squirts out.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Not a good day for birds.", "c": ["Character M"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "That's nice twice.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "He's engaged to another woman... who happens to be your ex-best friend?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "It was so nice having this little sink here.", "c": ["Character N"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Hey, I've been honing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "She might think I'm in a restaurant. I might have a life.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Like I haven't been sitting here... honing for the last two hours?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "You cook naked? Yeah, toast, oatmeal. Nothing that spatters.", "c": ["Monica", "Character O"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Way better than Mindy.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "When I went there on what would've been our honeymoon... it was really nice. You would've liked it.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I had a bra.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I'm 12, I'm not stupid.", "c": ["Kid Patient"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "For future reference, that thing in your hand... can also be used as a phone.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Desperate? Needy? Pathetic? You obviously saw my personal ad.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "This is where you'd use that 'hello' word.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "God, I miss just being needy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Oh, do I?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "It's nothing like me and Carol. If she said to you, 'Ross, I want you on this couch... right here, right now,' what would you say?", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "If it helps, I could slide over.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "It's orthodontists and lesbians.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I have a jam-packed schedule. And I am late for keeping up with it, okay?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Hell is filled with people like you.", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Get down? And boogie.", "c": ["Monica", "Character P"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Now, you know, I'm, like, the other woman. I feel so... Naughty.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "When she taught you to kiss, were you wearing any kind of little uniform?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "We haven't had a second date... she needs to hear me pee?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Do you? No.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I accidentally shut off my phone.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "That's why I'm dancing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Not like when I asked if those red pants made my ass look big.", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "except for Laurie... who's bitter because she lost weight... and it turns out, she doesn't have a pretty face.", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "It is. It is. It is.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Since the engagement, he's acted weird. And then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "When Barry was engaged to you, he and I... kind of had a little thing on the side.", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "You are so stupid. We are both so stupid.", "c": ["Rachel", "Mindy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Smell familiar?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Ring, damn it, ring.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Just like you told her you did. Just pointing out the irony.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Rdtor.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Sidney's a woman. So she's a woman, so what?", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "She said you looked pretty that day in the green dress. The green dress? Really? She said you looked like Ingrid Bergman.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "She wants to know why you tie the towel around your head. It's a leave-in conditioner, okay?", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "We are here to break up with you. Both of you?", "c": ["Rachel", "Barry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Which one of us are you talking to there?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Please. That second time, you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup.", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "The first time didn't really count. You know, it was Barry.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "What is it with you and Aruba? Do you have a deal with the airlines?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Okay, and we'll be here, hating you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "If I'm hogging the ball, you jump right in there... and take some punches. This feels great.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Mindy, the guy is the devil. He is Satan in a smock.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber... D.D.S.", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I'll give you this: Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. He's got the monocle, he's got the top hat... Did you know he's gay?", "c": ["Character Q", "Character R"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "I just wanna clarify this. Are you outing Mr. Peanut?", "c": ["Character S"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "She seems nice, but her coming all the way here... just to see if I was okay? I mean, how needy is that?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Evil Orthodontist"}, {"t": "l could use another reason why women won't look at me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Excellent dream score.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "More importantly... was l any good?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "ln my dreams, l'm surprisingly inadequate.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Last night, you seemed to know your way around the table.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l love it when we share.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Sorry, it was a one-time thing. l was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Ooh, give me. Can you see me operating a drill press?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l don't know. What are you wearing?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Pirates again?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l taught a 'Massage Yourself at Home' workshop. And they are.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "My secretary's gonna be out. She's having one of her boobs reduced. lt's a whole big boob story.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l don't know if it'd be your thing... because it involves being normal for a large portion of the day.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "ls it for dinosaur emergencies? Help. They're still extinct.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "All she has to do is dial 55-JlMBO.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "A cool number and a possible name for the kid.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "When we were....", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Rob that cradle.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Mature and grown-up, he's a big boy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "That'll stop when you pick up the phone.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l'm not in a meeting.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Most likely.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Did l turn the fish? Nope, because l made lasagna.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "No, Andre is not here. Third time today.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l do not perform those kind of services.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "That's right. JUMBO with a 'U,' sir. You don't want me. Judging by his number, l'd be a huge disappointment.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "They don't like you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Everyone. Except for.... No. Everyone.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Mr. Bing. Boss Man Bing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Could that report be any later?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "The hills are alive with the sound... of music. My scone. My scone.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "That is so not-- That-- Oh, shut up.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Up until l was 9... l thought 'gunpoint' was a place where crimes happened.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Why do people continue to go there?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "lf that's what you kids are calling it these days, then... yes, l am.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l just haven't been to that particular one yet.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Even when you practice it at home, man, oh, man... it is nothing like that.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "You didn't mention the Tic Tac.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l just thought you were naturally minty.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l just had sex with someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l just had sex.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l'm Joan Collins.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Who?", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "There were times... when it wasn't even me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "This has nothing to do with him needing a note to get out of gym?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Could you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "lt's morphin' time.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "That's part of the whole... them-not-liking-you extravaganza.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l don't wanna be the geek who invited the boss.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Then at four, Muppet Babies is on.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "You were great. But they still made fun of you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Mr. I'm-one-of-you Boss. Mr. l-wanna-be-your-buddy Boss Man Bing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "lf she punches in 9-1-1... she's having a baby. Otherwise, l just ignore it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Frankly, it was a little more than l needed to know.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l'm actually 30. l have a wife and a job. l'm your congressman.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "You're actually gonna throw this away because it's 'icky'?", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Moist.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Could these margaritas be any stronger?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Great. Now l'm having a baby.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "l'm hurt.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "There are doctors there.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "For the ride.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fake Monica"}, {"t": "Doing it on this table.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Excellent dream score.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "More importantly, was I any good?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Interesting, because in my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Well, last night, you seemed to know your way around the table.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "I love it when we share.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "I was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "I don't know. What are you wearing?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "She's having one of her boobs reduced. It's a whole big boob story.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "It involves a lot of being normal for a large portion of the day.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? 'Help, come quick! They're still extinct!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "A cool phone number and a possible name for the kid.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "When we were?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Well, maybe 25, 26. - I am 26. - There you go.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "That'll stop when you pick up the phone.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Mr. Bing's office. [IN MELLOW VOICE]", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... [interrupted]", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "'Most likely.' [BOTH CHUCKLE]", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "What you doing? [OVER INTERCOM]", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Did I turn the fish? Nope, because I made lasagna.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "So did you shave your legs? - Yeah. - Uh-huh.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "No, Andre is not here. Third time today.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "No, sir, I do not perform those kind of services.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. That's right. 'JUMBO' with a U, sir.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "They don't like you. - What? - I thought you knew that.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Who doesn't like me? - Everyone. - Except for, um... No. Everyone.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe", "Phoebe", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing. Boss-Man Bing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Could that report be any later?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "The hills are alive with the sound... of music.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "My scone! - My scone! [ALL LAUGHING]", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up at Gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorized at Gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking, 'Why do people continue to go there?'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat'?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Well, it's somewhere in between.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days... then yes, I am.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Even when you practice it at home, man, oh, man... it is nothing like that.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "I'm 25. And 13 months.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "In high school.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Oh, God. I just had sex with someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "I just had sex.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm like those women that you see with shiny guys named Chad.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "I'm Joan Collins.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Who?", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Nobody, uh, handing out mints or anything?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "There were times... when it wasn't even me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Could you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "It's morphing time. - Stegosaurus! - Tyrannosaurus!", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "That's part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you extravaganza.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be the geek who invited the boss, you know?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Now you're more like Mr. Caring-Boss. Mr. 'I'm-One-of-You'-Boss. Mr. 'I-Wanna-Be-Your-Buddy'-Boss-Man-Bing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "This morning he got a call from what I think was our cousin Nathan. And frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "I'm actually 30. I have a wife. I have a job. I'm your congressman.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "If you were a few years older or I was a few years younger... or we lived in biblical times...", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Could these margaritas be any stronger?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Some people are gonna be working this weekend.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Ross? - I'm here.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "Ross? - I'm hurt.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "What, so I can't look nice? There might be doctors there.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Ick Factor"}, {"t": "But when I spoke to her, she said she'd already passed the mucus plug. [GROANS]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "It's only like $2 for the first contraction and then 50 cents each additional contraction.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "What, it's okay when Chandler does it? You have to pick your moments.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I just thought we might be here for a while, so, you know, things might get musical.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Hey, where the hell have you been? We stopped at the gift shop. I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.", "c": ["Ross", "Carol", "Susan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Susan wanted a-- You're having a baby. A baby. You don't stop for Chunkys.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I used to have that bumper sticker.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start.", "c": ["Dr. Franzblau"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Each one's like a little party in my uterus.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Fifty-nine seconds. Quartz. Ha. Swiss quartz. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station. I'll get them. No, I'm getting it. Be right back. No, I got it. I'm getting it.", "c": ["Dr. Franzblau", "Ross", "Susan"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I'm Carol's ex-husband's sister's roommate. I'm your roommate's brother's ex-wife's obstetrician.", "c": ["Rachel", "Dr. Franzblau"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I want a baby. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Get up. Come on, let's get some coffee. Oh, okay, because we never do that.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Shoot, shoot, shoot. Or just fall down. That's good too.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "You know, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.", "c": ["Lydia"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "They couldn't hit a boat if-- Wait.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Uh, let me get the father. Hey! We need a father over here! We need a father! There's no father. Oh. Oh. Oh, sorry.", "c": ["Joey", "Lydia"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "[SINGING] They're tiny and chubby And so sweet to touch But soon they'll grow up And resent you so much Now they're yelling at you And you don't know why And you cry and you cry and you cry", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Thanks, Ross. Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "When we're 40, if neither of us are married... what do you say you and I have one? Why won't I be married when I'm 40?", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Dear God. This parachute is a knapsack.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors? Is, like, your father a doctor? Yeah. Why?", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "What do you mean, 'Joey who?' [MOUTHS] Joey who? Tribbiani. Joey Tribbiani.", "c": ["Lydia", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "She's not much of a phone person.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Um, no.", "c": ["Lydia"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "So is this her? No, this is a loaner.", "c": ["Roy", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse and a helper guy.", "c": ["Lydia"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Yeah, Knicks by 10. They suck. Eh, they're not so bad.", "c": ["Lydia", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "What do you mean, 'back to Jordy'? We never landed on Jordy. We just passed by it during the whole Jesse/Cody/Dillon fiasco.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "You get to sleep with her. I get the cramps.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I'm trying to get a person out of my body here and you're not making it any easier. Now go!", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "What is that? Something exploded. It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?", "c": ["Ross", "Susan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.", "c": ["Ross", "Susan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "There are children coming into the world in this very building and your fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Don't make me do this again! I don't like my voice like this!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "What are you gonna do, suck the door open?", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "He's in a whole other place. Yeah. No, he's gone.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I'm only 26. I'm not even thinking about babies yet. [BABY COOING] [SOBBING]", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Where have you been? Oh, I just had a baby.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "It's hard enough to get women to go out with me. Heh. Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.", "c": ["Dr. Franzblau", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Ahem. Yeah. Gotcha.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "So is this her? No, this is a loaner.", "c": ["Roy", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Father's Day. There's Mother's Day. There's no Lesbian Lover Day. Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.", "c": ["Susan", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they fight over who gets to love it the most and it's not even born yet. It's just the luckiest baby in the whole world.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Uh-- Oh, that's great. Anybody seen a nipple?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital Worker Ben. It's Ben to the rescue.", "c": ["Ben (hospital worker)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is, in fact, a dark vent.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Wait! You forgot your legs!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "So anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go.", "c": ["Dr. Franzblau"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Oh! A head. Oh. It's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "What does he look like? Kind of like my Uncle Ed, covered in Jell-O.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "How about Ben? I like Ben. Ben. How come you never mentioned Ben before? We, uh, just cooked it up. That's what we were off doing.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross", "Carol", "Susan"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Susan, he looks just like you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I know. I still am one of these.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "I will always have gum.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "And sometimes I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "Hey, Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "He doesn't do much, does he? Nope, this is pretty much it.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Birth"}, {"t": "This sure trumps the 'Has he pooped?' series.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Ross, we love him, okay? But right now he's just a little fat guy. How excited can we get?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "-What you got? -400 pictures of Ben on a rug.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Look, he's got Ross' haircut.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "That would be nice.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "-Pardon? -Nothing. Just a little extra air in my mouth.", "c": ["Unknown", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Including the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Just, you know, science. Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Thank you, God. This will bring us so much joy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "You're gonna be making money hand over fist.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "That's funny. Very funny.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "The ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Men are here!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "We make fire. Cook meat. Put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "You think I'd tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Crazy bitch.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Joey, we always know what you mean.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "-China? -For the museum. Someone found a bone. They don't want us to have it.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "It's a whole big bone thing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Hi, Ben. I'm your father.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "I am The Head!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "No, this big pile of dishes in my mom's breakfront.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Let's see. Alvin, Simon, Theodore... No.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Of course, there they just call it 'food.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "I may only have a couple beers in me, but I love you.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "I'm still on my first.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "I just think you're nice.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "We call ourselves 'The Three Basketeers.' Like 'The Three Musketeers,' only with fruit.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Have you ever thought about being there for her?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Not following you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "It's Dr. Seuss! That book got me through some tough times.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "There's a little child inside this man. The doctors say if they remove it, he'll die.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "What did you just say?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Crystal duck.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "That's good. Just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "No, it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Is there a mute button on this woman?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "He's watching a woman do this:", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "-What about time difference? -From here to the airport?", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Rachel loved the present. She'll see you when you get back.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Toby, I don't know what she's talking about. There's no Rachel. Don't give me that deep freeze.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "You know what? Forget about me. Let's give you another turn.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Boy, somebody's gonna get a big fruit basket tomorrow!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "You're practically a woman.", "c": ["Melanie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "A woman!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Pizza coupons.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I throw it out?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, me too! We'd be like friends-in-law!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "You start on the 15th date.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Then why are you dumping my brother?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "The fact you'd even ask shows how little you know me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "I know. My room's very, very close to the parade route.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "I didn't know you had another level.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Well, it's the thought.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "-Come on up. -Behind my brother's back?", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "I can't believe you'd rather go out with him than me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "I mean, come on, buddy! Get a real car!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "But it only has to happen once.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna be the guy caught behind this hammerhead in traffic!", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "No, he's a banker with opera tickets.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "I haven't watched Baywatch with Yasmine Bleeth!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Toby, for God's sake, will you let it go? There's no Rachel!", "c": ["Wrong Passenger"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "You don't think they'll judge me?", "c": ["Unknown woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "-No, they will. I just... -Can't wait!", "c": ["Ross", "Unknown woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"}, {"t": "Rachel frantically rushing through airport saying 'Emergency, please!' to get to Ross", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Rachel bleeding from her rush to airport, trying to play it cool: 'Enough about me, Mr. Back From The Orient!'", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Rachel giving flowers meant for Ross to Julie: 'Welcome to our country.' / Julie: 'I'm from New York.'", "c": ["Rachel", "Julie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Rachel's recovery: 'Not a problem. We'll use them to stop the bleeding.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "'This is bigger than huge.' / 'What's bigger than huge?' / 'Um, this?'", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "'Thanks to Vidal Buffay' / 'If you don't look good, we don't look good'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Phoebe miming/acting out the airport scene: 'Airport. Ross. Not alone. Julie. Arm around her!' then fake cramping", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Julie: 'I'm not here, you haven't met me. I'll make a better impression when I don't have 20 hours of plane on me.'", "c": ["Julie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross and Julie telling travel story, Joey interrupts: 'And the chicken poops in her lap!'", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Julie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Rachel: 'Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Rachel's follow-up: 'It's an expression.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica about future plans: 'Don't tell us what's gonna happen though, because I like to be surprised.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross asking for coffee, Rachel: 'Did you talk to him yet?' Chandler: 'No.' Rachel: 'Then, no.'", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross: 'You know whose voice that was?' Chandler: 'God?' Ross: 'It was you, pal.'", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'Well, maybe it was God doing me.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Rachel bringing wrong drink, insisting Ross return lemonade he didn't order to avoid charges", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler about silver lining: 'You have to really wanna see it.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler about guys working out: 'Ironically, these guys were picked last in gym.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Phoebe mind-reading: 'How it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica: 'No. Although now that's what I'm thinking.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica about haircut control: 'I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.' / Phoebe: 'No, you're not.' / Monica: 'I know I'm not, but you are.'", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler looking for tailor: 'I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey's age confusion: 'He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, excuse me, 15.' / 'When was 1990?'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross and Julie's phone call: Extended 'no you hang up' routine ending with 'She didn't hang up'", "c": ["Ross", "Julie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler interrupting phone call: 'Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica: 'I don't care what you guys say. Something's bothering her.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey: 'You know, I think I was 16.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica about haircut: 'No, no, no. I'm not falling for that again.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Visual reveal of Paolo in Monica's apartment", "c": ["Paolo", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica: 'I'm pathetic, I'm a loser.' / Rachel: 'Honey, you're not pathetic. You're just sad.'", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Phoebe: 'My God, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...' Monica: 'But this is about your horrible mistake.'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross and Julie: 'We were, uh... Well, there was touching.'", "c": ["Ross", "Julie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Paolo: 'I do Raquel.' / Ross: 'Ah.'", "c": ["Paolo", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica: 'You're gonna have to not touch my ass.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'Well, despite the yummy bagels and palpable tension...'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey about Frankie: 'He'll know what it means.' / Chandler: 'You sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?'", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica about haircut: 'The last time Paolo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Phoebe to hair: 'Some of you are gonna get cut and some of you aren't. But I promise, none of you will feel a thing.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica: 'This isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. This is the face of a person who doesn't trust a person.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Phoebe: 'This is how he wears it.' / Monica: 'How who wears it?' / Phoebe: 'Demi Moore.'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Demi/Dudley Moore mix-up: 'That's Dudley Moore!' / 'I said I wanted it like Demi Moore!'", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Tailor measuring pants: 'How long do you want the cuffs?' / Chandler: 'At least as long as I have the pants.'", "c": ["Tailor", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'I just got that.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross about Monica's hair: 'Your hair looks too good. It would upset her.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey: 'Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica: 'Today it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey: 'I've been with a lot of people's share of women.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey: 'Your tailor is a very bad man!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler about measuring: 'Cupping.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross: 'Yes, yes, it is. In prison!'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica about hair: 'Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Phoebe: 'I think it's a 10!' / Monica: 'Thank you. My hair is very amused.'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Christopher Cross reference: 'You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross leaving: 'When the doctor does that hernia test...' Chandler: 'That's okay.'", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross about Paolo: 'I hate him. I mean, I actually... I physically hate him.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross's romantic speech ending with: 'Like the way I do with Julie.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler on phone: 'No, I swear to God, Dad! That's not how they measure pants!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Final Andie/Roddy MacDowell confusion: 'That's Roddy McDowall. Andie MacDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Rosss New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Okay, these were expensive, and he's gonna grow out of them...in 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Phoebe says 'Just do it!' aggressively to baby Ben, who immediately starts crying", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Oh! Was that too much pressure for him?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Hey, what are you guys doing? / We're just hanging out by the spoons. / Ladle?", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world. / Yeah, we know. But there's a baby sucking on it.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Ugh, what a bitch.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "I can't. I have to take my grandmother to the vet.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "It's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "She will kill you like a dog in the street!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Monica makes dog barking sounds, panting, then mimics being shot", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls call him 'The Hombre Man.'", "c": ["Annabel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "You had a salad. / No wonder I don't feel full.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Um, boobs.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "You bought boobs?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "It's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Hi, Jew!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "That was my friend Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Phoebe licks her arm after heating breast milk", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Phoebe, that is juice squeezed from a person.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Ross drinks breast milk after saying he won't", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "That is excellent. What's with you? Who did you have lunch with?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "When it started, I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then one thing led to another and before I knew it, we were...shopping.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Wait, we only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Monica whimpers in response to Bloomingdale's question", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Of course, the packaging does appeal to grownups and kids.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Yeah, it tastes kind of sweet. Sort of like, uh... Like what? Cantaloupe juice. Exactly.", "c": ["Carol", "Ross", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Howdy. Give me a box of juice.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Show him that you're the baddest Hombre west of the lingerie!", "c": ["Hombre Man"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Now, go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.", "c": ["Hombre Man"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "But now she's actually stealing you!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "You guys, um, I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me. But, um, I love you guys too!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I'm such a doofus! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Sooner or later they all...stop lasting.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "I'm pretty much totally intimidated by you.", "c": ["Julie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Well...you're not totally paranoid.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "And God, I hate it when she's right.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "What a manipulative bitch.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "Ross tastes breast milk and says 'It's not bad'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Breast Milk"}, {"t": "When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Heh, heh. You guys are messing with me, right?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "That's a good one. For a second there, I was like, whoa!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Because she doesn't hate Yanni is not a real reason.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "You don't have birds. / I could have birds.", "c": ["Monica", "Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.", "c": ["Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Hello, Chandler Bing! Oh, my God!", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, Chandler! Now! Now! That's it. There! Faster!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "We won! / Mr. Heckles.", "c": ["Rachel", "All"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "I was sweeping yesterday. It could've been me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Like crop circles or the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story. I just think it's a little too easy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Okay, don't get me started on gravity.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. It's Isaac Newton and he's pissed.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "According my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to 'the noisy girls in the apartment above mine.'", "c": ["Mr. Buddy Boyle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "All right, there was none.", "c": ["Mr. Buddy Boyle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "He hated us! This was his final revenge! / Ever seen so much crap! Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "So now the real question is, who put those fossils there and why?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "April 18th, excessive noise, Italian guy's gay roommate brings home dry cleaning.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "You don't have any stuff. / You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Maybe the Overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Wow. Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "So? You were both dorks. Big deal.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Vivian, too tall. / Madge, big gums. / Too loud. / Too smart. / Makes noise when she eats.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Bitter Town, Alone-ville, Hermit Junction!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "What if I found her but I dumped her because she pronounces it 'supposably'?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "I mean, what if we're over at her folks' place?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Supposably. / Supposably. / Did they go to the zoo? / Supposably.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Jeez, look how fat she got.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing.", "c": ["Chandler", "Janice"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "And what? Miss the expression on your face? Oh, no. Janice likes to have her fun.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Then you'll just have to eat the other lamps.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "And up till 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing until you split it open and this whole mess of crap came out.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "There might be a teeny, tiny possibility.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "How are you gonna face the other science guys?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "I was putting on my jacket and the thing and the lamp and it broke.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket. But I want to believe you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Run away from Crazy Snake Man, they'll shout!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we've ever gone out with.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Whoa! Don't know about that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Clock whistles", "c": ["Sound effect"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "But I'm not going to let that stuff hang me up anymore because she has an unusually large head.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "You're all going to hell.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "My God, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Nice smile, good dresser. Big head, big head, big head!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Heckles Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! What are you doing in here?! Mom, I gotta go! I gotta go!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "That's fine, you just read the paper. I'm gonna get a pot. It's not for you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Read the Family Circus... enjoy the gentle comedy...", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Just tell her her husband stopped by. Her what?", "c": ["Duncan", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "How did you do that?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Of course I wouldn't approve! You were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "See? And you thought she'd be judgmental.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "And I saw you eat a cheeseburger.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "The fact that the underwear out on the telephone pole is yours... from when you had sex with Bobby on the terrace!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Kind of the same as, say... I don't know, having a third nipple!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "You bitch!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "As opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "You see something, you hear a word, I thought that's what it was.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Joey was in a porno movie!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "They let me be the guy who fixes the copier but can't... because there's people having sex on it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance... to the magical land of Narnia.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "You get the best huts, and women dance naked around you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Are any of these cultures, per chance, in the Tri-State area?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "The Ice Capades? No, the Gravel Capades.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "The turns aren't as fast, but when Snoopy falls? Funny.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "I see, I see. Because of the third-nipple thing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Is it because she's so cold in bed?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Or because she's kind of bossy, makes it feel like school?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "there is nothing sexier... than a man who does not want to have sex.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "That just means it's working.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "More than jewelry.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "I remember when you were just King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice Is Nice.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Ole! What? The Matador... Ole!", "c": ["Duncan", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But it's gone now. You're all right.", "c": ["Julie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "He told me to get over myself and just do it. I thought about what you said and about what he said. And his way, I get to have sex tonight, so...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "I'm fine, if you're okay watching a video... filled with two-nippled people.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Well, you know, these movies are offensive... and degrading to women and females...", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "And the lighting's always unflattering.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Oh. Never mind. Wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "All I say is, she'd better get the job. Looks to me like he's the one getting the job.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "You know, that's bad for the paper tray.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "I'm straight.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "You're so smart and funny... and you throw such great Academy Award parties!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "I guess on some level I always knew I was straight.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "I'd get drunk, go to a straight bar... and wake up with a woman next to me.", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Now I know I don't have a choice. I was born this way!", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "And then one day he says, 'Oh, I'm not gay!'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "You know, it still smells like monkey in there.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "That saves us the conversation.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "I know her pretty well. Can I go?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "My brother's straight, so...", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "So your brother's straight, huh?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "No, Cobb. Like cobb salad. What exactly is in a cobb salad?", "c": ["Julie", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Boy, that Julie's a talker, huh?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "well then, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Really sort of soft at first. And then maybe brush the hair away from my face.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "And then it's just happening.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Thanks, Rach. Good night!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Oh, God!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Twice!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Phoebes Husband"}, {"t": "Man, I sure miss Julie. Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling... Julie! Okay, I see how you got there.", "c": ["Character A", "Character B"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "If I always answer the phone, people will think I have no life.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "I got a little drunk... and naked. Bob here!", "c": ["Jade", "Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.", "c": ["Jade"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Having a phone has finally paid off.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up... she'll seek comfort in the arms of the stranger at the next table.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Okay, pure evil... horny and alone.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Is there any chance that you're rounding up from... you know... from like 20?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "If it's not you, this is a horrible story.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "How much you think I can get for my kidney?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "I just had this weird sense. But that's me, I'm weird and sensitive. Tissue?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "No, you keep the pack. I'm all cried out today.", "c": ["Jade"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Wait! And I got a beeper!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "I know! What are these, famous chickens?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Tell me again. What do I do when Mr. Roper calls?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "But if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff... is it cheaper?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Just put it right here next to my water.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "...take care.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Yes, how about a verse of 'Killing Me Softly'? You're gonna sneeze in my fish, aren't you?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Prom night flashback.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "We three... feel like that... sometimes you guys don't get that...", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "There's gonna be a hoopla?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "So, the Ebola virus. That's gotta suck, huh?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Oh, it's like a skit.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "By the way, this didn't seem so dorky out in the hall.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Then you'll have extra seats for all your tiaras and stuff.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "It sounds even cooler when somebody else says it!", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "I had sex today. I never have to answer that phone again.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "I bit my lip to keep from screaming your name.", "c": ["Jade"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "It was just so awkward and bumpy.", "c": ["Jade"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Are you one of the ones that fooled around with my Dad?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "That would be the work of a Blowfish.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "We're just sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers...", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck!", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "You got 5 bucks?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant"}, {"t": "Who the winny-binny boy? Oh, you the winny-winny-binny-binny boy!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 3.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Ben crying stops when passed to different person, immediately resumes when passed back", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "You know, I once dated a Miss Cranky Pants. Lovely girl. Kind of moody.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Monica experiments with different positions/movements to stop Ben crying", "c": ["Monica", "Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "He hates me. My nephew hates me! What if my own baby hates me?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "You don't even have a boyfriend yet.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Joey, she does not look fat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Ross gagging and reacting badly to pie", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Kiwi? Kiwi?! You said it was a key lime pie. No, I didn't. I said kiwi lime.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Either that or my mouth is getting smaller!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Actually, it's getting better. Let's not go. Anyone up for Scrabble?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "I was gonna play basketball... but I guess that's out the window.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "My uncle Sal has a really big tongue. Is he the one with the beautiful wife?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song, Stop me if you've heard it", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "And Tegrin spelled backward is nirget", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "It's that she's so bad she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around.", "c": ["Terry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Aim him at that pack of babes. Maybe one of them will break away.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Well, don't think me immodest, but... me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "I assume we're talking about the baby?", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "My uterus just skipped a beat.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "My brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt. What agency did you two go through?", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "You can't just erase chalk.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "And, like, you know, a gold stick with a ball on top?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Terry's a jerk! That's why we always say, 'Terry's a jerk!' That's where that came from.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "You don't clean the cappuccino machine?", "c": ["Terry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "I'm not some sloppy second, you know, charity band.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Maybe they can take the needle and squirt it into my mouth. Like a squirt gun.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Ross squeezing Monica's hand so hard she screams", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Next time we want to pick up women, we should go to the park and make out.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Can you tell him that? Because he thinks he looks too pink.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "We're two heterosexual guys hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doing the usual straight-guy stuff.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "We live in the building by the, uh, sidewalk.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "BEN! BEN!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "That's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Sorry! I got my S's back! Celebrate. Celebrate...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "My name was on there, but now it just says carrot cake.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Mine does.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "I was wondering what somebody might do if they left a baby on a city bus.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Here's the deal: We lost a car seat on a bus. It's white plastic and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Terry's a jerk and he won't let me work / And I hate Central Perk", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Actually, uh, ahem, we're both the father.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "That one has ducks on his T-shirt and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks. Or clowns.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "That one's Ben! Remember he had that cute little mole by his mouth! / Okay, the mole came off.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Ducks is heads because ducks have heads.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "$8.27. But not really, because I put in the first two.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "I got 25 cents and a condom.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Did I accidentally drop a condom in your case? It's kind of an emergency.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "They were infected. He wouldn't have made it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "How come it says, 'Property of Human Services'?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "Stay back! I've got kiwi! Run, Joey, run!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "There is no 'top,' all right? That's the beauty of 'Smelly Cat.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Baby On The Bus"}, {"t": "What is it about me? Do I not look fun enough? Is there something repellent about me?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "A woman literally passed through me", "c": ["Unknown male character"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "I've put on a little weight?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "No, not weight. More like insulation", "c": ["Unknown male character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "that might get in the way of my lying-around time", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm going home", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Ooh, can't make hands meet!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Just never seen you in little stretchy pants before", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "And we're changing", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Five more and I'll flash you", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "One... two... two and a half", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Just show me one of them", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.0, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "She's got me doing butt-clenches at my desk. And now they won't bring me my mail anymore", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "The guy still won't put out? Nope. Zilch. Nothing. Uh-uh.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Maybe he drives his car on the other side of the road. If you know what I mean. No. What do you mean? He's not British.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "No, I felt it on my hip. I could tell.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Can I come over tomorrow and pick up Fluffy Meowington's cat toys?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really long time", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "With a man. Ahem, okay. You guys have a really, uh, good night and you two have a, uh, really good cat. Heh.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "We're not supposed to take these when we leave", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "How long do cats live? Figuring you don't throw them under a bus or something?", "c": ["Rachel", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Monica told you I was cuter than this, didn't she?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Yeah, he wishes", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "So... Did you ever get a pet with a girlfriend?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "I said, 'Excellent butt, great rack.' Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended. But that's so sweet.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Ugh, you are so yum!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Why can't they get one of those bugs? One of those fruit flies. Those things that live for a day. What are they called? What are they called? Fruit flies? Yes! Thank you.", "c": ["Rachel", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "But only because I've been playing the movie Diner in my head", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "God, you're brilliant! Why didn't I think of that? How do I get that?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "All right. Fine. I'll call you back. Thank you.", "c": ["Random phone user"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And you see there, I'm thinking of names so obviously I am over you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Because it's Sunday! It's God's day. Ha, hey. If you say stop, then we stop. Stop. No, come on! We can't stop!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "I am the energy train and you are on board! Whoo.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Um, I think there was a restaurant. I know there was wine.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I don't remember", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Rach, I got a message from you! Who's Michael? Oh, my God. God, Ross, no! Hang up the phone. Give me the phone! Give me the phone! Give me the phone! Give me the...", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "When were you... under me?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "You had feelings for me first. Whoa, huh. You know about my...? You know I had...? You know?", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "I'm gonna stand... and I'm gonna walk. I'm walking and I am standing.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "I've got a cab. I've got a girlfriend. I'm gonna go get a cat. Okay. Okay. Cat!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "I can't find the remote", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Is he gonna call me the next day? And Where is this going? So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be serious.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him. He got you to say he never has to call you again. And he got you thinking this is a great idea? This man is my god.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "I didn't get a cat. Oh, that's, um, interesting. No. No, it's not interesting. Okay? It's very, very not interesting. It's actually a hundred percent the opposite of interesting.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Not... Not... Not... every night", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "There was one Italian guy, okay? And do you have a point?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "I don't need your stupid ship! Good! Good! And you know what? Now I got closure!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "What? Heh. Nothing. Except tell you, uh, it's wonderful how much energy you have. Well, thanks. Especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "You can't tell your parents you were fired, because they'd be disappointed. It's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "If it were me, I'd have difficulty getting out of bed at all. You know, I try to stay positive. So you? You feel like going for a run?", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Finds Out"}, {"t": "Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Does this end well or do we need to get tissues?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "And then I kissed her. Tongue? - Yeah. - Cool.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Wow. What are you gonna use it for? Games and stuff.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "That is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait, wait. Yeah, that's just painful.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "You got all that from saline solution?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Me and Julie, me and Rachel. Me and Julie, me and Rach... Rachel! Rachel.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "So everybody's here. Everybody's good.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "This is a song, um, about a love triangle... between three people I made up.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Two of Them Kissed Last Night", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Or will it be the one Who we'll call Loolie?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Mockolate. - I'm sorry? - Mockolate. It's a synthetic chocolate substitute.", "c": ["Mr. Rastatter", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Yeah. Ha-ha-ha. I love how it crumbles. - You see, chocolate doesn't do that.", "c": ["Monica", "Mr. Rastatter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "we can make Thanksgiving the Mockolate holiday", "c": ["Mr. Rastatter"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Just waiting for it to stop bubbling.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Especially that aftertaste. You know, I tell you... that'll last you till Christmas.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "What makes it Pilgrim? We'll put buckles on it.", "c": ["Monica", "Mr. Rastatter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Julie. Ross picked me. We'll get married and have lots of kids and dig up stuff together!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "No offense, but that sounds nothing like her.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Oh, I know. This must be so hard. 'Oh, no! Two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy, my wallet's too small for my 50s... and my diamond shoes are too tight!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Don't ever touch the computer.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Ross, listen. I got two words for you: Threesome.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Can't we just use a pen? No, Amish boy.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "But Rachel's just a waitress.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "You guys wanna play 'Doom'? Or we could keep doing this.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "her ankles are a little chubby", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "She's not Rachel.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Just like the Indians served.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Sweet Lord! Oh, this is what evil must taste like!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Yes. It was horrible. She cried, I cried. She threw things, they hit me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "So Spock actually hugs his father?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "It's the other thing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Well, go hug her, for God's sakes!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "He's going to get my coat. He's going to get my coat, Joey!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Hey, it's printing!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Because isn't that... the short story you were writing? Yes, it is a short story... that I was writing.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "It was summer. And it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh, look!' cried Ned. And then the kingdom was his forever. The end!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "You're the worst writer in the world!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "the idiot!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "I do not have chubby ankles!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "She's not Rachem? What the hell's a Rachem?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "My diary. My diary! That's brilliant! If I'd said it was my diary, she wouldn't have made me read it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "No, that's true. You'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "What a dinkus!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Oh, good. I was hoping that would come up.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Yeah. Listen, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "That doesn't mean, 'Climb up the fire escape.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "How about a nice, steaming cup of hot Mockolate?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world... not only thinks them too... but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "See, I'd never make a list.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Maybe a little longer.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Something about laboratory rats. Huh.", "c": ["Mr. Rastatter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "So it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?", "c": ["Mr. Rastatter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "I don't wanna play your song anymore.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Oh, not at all. I have no morals, and I need the cash. It's like I'm looking in a mirror.", "c": ["Monica", "Mr. Rastatter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "Fish-tachios. Now, they taste exactly like pistachios... but they're made of reconstituted fish bits.", "c": ["Mr. Rastatter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The List"}, {"t": "You should see the size of his Christmas balls!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone cares. / We're broke, but cookies do say that.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "A plate of brownies told me a limerick.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Not especially. But I think they had pot in them.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "These are cookies smashed to the sports section.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Yeah, but not very well, unless 14 across, 'Gershwin musical'... actually is 'Bite me, bite me, bite me.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Walks downstairs Alone or in pairs Everyone knows it's Just a big spring.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Go nuts.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Look at these authentic fake metals! Mom's gonna be voted 'best dressed'... at the make-believe military academy!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "That's the guy that comes in the frame.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "How have you never been on Oprah?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "It's not a blue screen. It's just... Maybe it was just really clear that day.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "But when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Just updating the phone book.", "c": ["Grandma"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "I smell smoke. Maybe because someone's pants are on fire!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Not impossible, but harder.", "c": ["Grandma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Who said anything about Christmas?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Don't you have to be Claymation to say that?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Monica, pigeons learn faster than you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "And you wear too much of that gel in your hair.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "You know what? You shouldn't call yourself Information!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Hello, Grandma. If that is, in fact, your real name.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Upstate's pretty big. He's pretty small. You do the math.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "But to me, he's still the irresponsible creep who locked up your mom and stole her Gremlin.", "c": ["Grandma"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far.", "c": ["Grandma"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Wish me luck, Grandpa.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Yeah, she brought the invisible cab. Hop in!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Brake, left. Gas, right? / That's my cheat sheet.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "There isn't one. The paramedics had to cut through it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Heat, heat, heat! And I'm the obsessive one?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "That's right. I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Hey, it's Funny's cousin... Not Funny!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Yes, it's hot enough to bake cookies.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Here's a theme: 'Come on in, live like bacon!'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "So that's what this is for!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "An amount about the size of a pea. How can that be too much?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Hey! Get in line, buddy. I was next.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Is it hot? My body always stays cool. Probably because I have so much skin.", "c": ["Mr. Treeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "He's playing baseball. / You mean hardball? / Whatever.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Nice seizing... gel boy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "If it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss you. / No, it's still basil.", "c": ["Treeger", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Mailbox. / All right, we're getting closer.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "I've already lost a fake dad this week. I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "That's fine, never mind.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Wiper blades! / I don't even have a car. / No, but with this new-car smell, you'll think you do!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "Toilet-seat covers!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "You got me a cola drink? / And a lemon-lime!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "They're ribbed for your pleasure!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Phoebes Dad"}, {"t": "You might wanna consider wearing underwear next time. Because when you sat on your throne, you could kind of see your... royal subjects.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "The only thing worse than the mindless adolescent direction... was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Does anybody have one from a different paper?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani was able to achieve brilliant new levels of... Continued on page 153... sucking.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian. But then I found out you have to put your hands into cows and stuff.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Stegosaurus fell over, trapped a kid.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "All right, it still works.", "c": ["Fun Bobby"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Public display of affection coming up. You can avert your eyes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Well, at least my cup is half full. Half full of love.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Cabin of love.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "I got boned at the Museum of Natural History mug.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Whoa. Oh.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "So I wake up and I'm in this Dumpster in Connecticut.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Or to a club, or to the... zoo.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Oh, well, too late, you already had some.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask.", "c": ["Fun Bobby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Or 'Hey, come on, it's Flag Day.'", "c": ["Fun Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Oh. Why?", "c": ["Fun Bobby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Ooh, ooh. Lorne Greene? No, Pheebs. You know why? Because he's dead.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Okay, I guess this is gonna seem bittersweet now...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Hey, yeah. We could all sleep together, and then one of us could get amnesia.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "You have other friends?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "[Extended awkward silence after Russ introduction]", "c": ["All"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "It's just that with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left.", "c": ["Joey's agent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Joey. Have you ever seen me ecstatic? No. Well, here it is.", "c": ["Joey's agent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "If I would have sent the little general in.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.", "c": ["Joey's agent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "There are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.", "c": ["Fun Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "But apparently... there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.", "c": ["Fun Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Bye... ridiculously dull Bobby.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Not that bad? Did you not hear the hammer story?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Okay, okay, don't get all squinky.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "He's probably always been dull. You just, you know... set it free.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Chat with your, uh... friend-type people.", "c": ["Russ"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Huh. Bob Saget?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "She buttered a spider into her toast this morning.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Oh, you're, uh... Oh, you're the date.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "You know, this is actually good... because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "See? Now they're as different as night and... later that night.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Much like a... you know. Ahem.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "I don't know what she sees in that goober.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "It takes him, what? Like, I don't know, uh... hello, a week to get out a sentence?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "I'm guessing you didn't get the part... or, uh, Italy called and said it was hungry?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Well, I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I needed to know.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "You know, after having slept with her.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Throw in a tree and a fat guy, and you've got Christmas.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Didn't you used to call it the little major? Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross?", "c": ["Fun Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Try mendelevium. And weenie number two has it.", "c": ["Russ", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Unless of course 9 Down, 'Nights in White Satin' was sung by the Doody Blues.", "c": ["Russ"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Steve, sleeve. Okay, no one is named sleeve.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark. You could not be more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful.", "c": ["Ross", "Russ"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "You're jealous. Uh, of what? You're jealous because I'm a real doctor. Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in.", "c": ["Russ", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "It's like, day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Ew. Ew, ew, ew.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Me. Why would I have to sleep with you? It's my game. You want the job or not?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "That way, he's still sober, but I find his stories about shoelaces more amusing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Ugh, God. Even his knock is boring.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "What, these? No, these are, um, for cuts and scrapes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this and pretend I'm a giant.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "Oh, I do. It's Bob Saget.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Russ"}, {"t": "There was a projectile, uh...throwing up incident, but he started it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "We're getting married.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "As in, 'I now pronounce you wife and wife' married?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "What would it say about me if I couldn't, uh, revel in your joy? And I'm reveling, baby. Believe me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Is your finger caught in that chair? Mm-hm. Want us to go? Uh-huh.", "c": ["Carol", "Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Then I started thinking about us, and how these are the days of our lives.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "[IN UNISON] Yes!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "They love each other. They wanna celebrate that love with the people close to them. If you wanna call that a reason.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "[SINGING] Who's the bitterest man In the living room? The bitterest man In the living room? Hi, neighbor.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "If she were marrying a guy, she'd be the worst lesbian ever.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "She taught me about how to work with the cameras and smell-the-fart acting.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Like this: [pause for intense look]", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Perhaps we can discuss this further over coffee.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "For a minute, I thought you were actually smelling something.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I gotta get to work. I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect. No, that's me. Oh, right.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "One of my clients died on the massage table today.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Little did she know God thought, 'Okay, but that's it.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I can't decide between lamb or duck. Well, lambs are scarier. Or the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim. And this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "[AS MRS. ADELMAN] Talk about crap, just listen to Stella Neidman tell her story about Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "[AS MRS. ADELMAN] Sit up!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? I guess that's the fun.", "c": ["Sandra", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "The last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink. Believe me, sometimes that happens.", "c": ["Sandra", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "[AS MRS. ADELMAN] I know who you remind me of. Evelyn Durmer. That's before the lousy face-lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "There's an unattractive nude man playing the cello. Just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument.", "c": ["Sandra", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm, uh, considering leaving your father.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Lesbian wedding, chicken breasts. Oh, God. I think I'm gonna be sick. What? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "When I was little, all parents got divorced. I figured as an adult, I wouldn't have to worry about it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "When my parents divorced, they sent me to a shrink and she told me that kids blame themselves. But in your case, it's actually kind of true.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Damn. My mail-order grandfather hasn't come yet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Although you did cut into my busy day of sitting.", "c": ["Mr. Adelman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "No, I spent most of my morning trying to stand up.", "c": ["Mr. Adelman"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I remember she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time. I'm sorry. There's laughing in my head. Worth a shot, huh?", "c": ["Mr. Adelman", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Actually, I think you said: 'Don't touch that and get out of my kitchen.' Really? Weird. Anyway...", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Do you know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana?", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "What's new in sex?", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm dicing. I'm dicing. I don't hear anything.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "You didn't marry your Barry, honey. But I married mine.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I feel like you should have German subtitles.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm sorry! It's the pigs! They're reluctant to get in the blanket!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "But if you don't help, I'm gonna take those hot dogs and create an appetizer called 'Pigs In Ross.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "You're still gonna pay me, right? Or something a little less selfish.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "If my parents didn't want me to marry you...no way that would've stopped me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, now you understand how I feel every single day. The world is my lesbian wedding.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "[AS MRS. ADELMAN] Butterscotch? No one? All right, you'll be sorry later.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "[AS MRS. ADELMAN] Oh, my God. Now I've seen everything! [IN NORMAL VOICE] Whoa, she's gone.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "How's that pig-in-the-blanket working out for you? I wrapped those bad boys.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I think it's time you forget about Rose, move on with your life. How about we get you a drink?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over at the buffet.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "Look, penis, schmenis! Okay? We're all people.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Lesbian Wedding"}, {"t": "That commercial always makes me so sad. But then the guy opens his beer and girls run at him... so everything works out okay.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "And the fact that they're both monkeys?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "My Malibu Barbie will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Remember when he'd borrow your hat... and when you got it back, there'd be monkey raisins in it?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "When he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat... Suddenly, I had this big 'attitude problem.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Rhythm?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "In Crazy World, that means you're married.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "You are so lucky, I'm gonna share mine.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "He will be surprised. Till he realizes he's a monkey... and isn't capable of that emotion.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Okay, so everyone... pretend I'm telling you a story and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh. Now!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "I would love to have kids... hear me play the songs that I will write for them.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea. But we want a backup plan, just in case she isn't a cartoon!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "That's how radio stars escape stalkers!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "This is it. This is how we're gonna die.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Sometimes monkeys die. It's not a great saying... but it certainly is fitting today.", "c": ["Dean Lipson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "It's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.", "c": ["Dean Lipson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "You remember Kathy Bates in Misery? Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Why are you looking at me? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "That's not a good idea. That's the reason the last guy got fired.", "c": ["Rob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "He thinks he can. Oh, what the hell. He can.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Now your mom and your dad said She moved to Peru But the truth is she died And someday you will too", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, these hands, these beautiful hands. I could just eat them. But I won't. Otherwise my watch would fall off.", "c": ["Erika"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Because I'm a neurosurgeon... and that was clearly a case of... 'foodal chokage.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "There'll be times when you get older When you'll want to sleep with people Just to make them like you But don't!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "It was either 'but' or 'butter.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "That's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Then the farmer hits him And grinds him up And that's how we get hamburgers", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neurosurgeon.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Do the people at the hospital know?", "c": ["Erika"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Nice girl, not great with concept.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "He's not Drake. He's... Hans Ramoray, Drake's evil twin!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Who's Barney?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "What, you never look down in the shower?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "I'm not allowed to make one joke in the 'monkey is penis' genre?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "And I have a time share in the Poconos with Flipper.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Whoa, dude. Burn!", "c": ["Crew Member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "In human terms? I'd say... Cybill Shepherd.", "c": ["Trainer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "It looks like her eyebrow fell down.", "c": ["Makeup Artist"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Rachel, he totally changed time!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "You can tell her I think her friend is cute.", "c": ["Van Damme"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "And if things go well, maybe this time... I'll get to see your underwear.", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "If I ask you to, you'll end up drinking it yourself.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Okay, then eat me, I'm done!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Well, yes, actually... but they were my Aunt Edna's. And there were three of us in there.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "We passed moment we should stop holding hands.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "If we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Because I went to an all-boys high school, and God is making up for it?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "I hope you realize this means we'll miss hearing about the specials.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "This is for the fourth grade.", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Rachel told me... you were dying to have a threesome with me and Drew Barrymore.", "c": ["Van Damme"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "You always wear panties? No, no. This is the first time.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "I'm getting heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Keep your panties on.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Chandler, can I borrow your G-string? How long you been waiting to say that? About 20 minutes!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "Mommy! Can't you see what's going on? This man is dead!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (1)"}, {"t": "...Cybill Shepherd.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "- The one in the director's chair? - Gotcha.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "It looks like her eyebrow fell down.", "c": ["Makeup artist"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Van Damme will be making out with Gabe Kaplan.", "c": ["Makeup artist"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Nice camouflage. For a minute there, I almost didn't see you.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Great job growing up.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Back then, I used humor as a defense mechanism. Thank God I don't do that anymore.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "The Muscles from Brussels? Wham-Bam-Van-Damme?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Rachel, he totally changed time!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "He could hear me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Tell him I cook!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "You don't think I'm cute? I don't know. Do you think you're cute?", "c": ["Van Damme", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "You can tell her I think her friend is cute.", "c": ["Van Damme"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "How many times must I touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date?", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "And if things go well, maybe this time... I'll get to see your underwear.", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "No one was around to hear that?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Naturally, you know, I said no.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Jean-Claude, she said yes! I'll see you tonight!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "She's got the greatest set of... No guys around, huh?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "If I ask you to, you'll end up drinking it yourself.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Like you'd drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Stick a fork in me... I am done!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "How do you know vegetables are done? Well, you don't. You eat them and you can tell.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Okay, then eat me, I'm done!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Did you ever want to do it in an elevator?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "How do you know if you wanna do that? You just know.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Two hundred seconds of passion! We gotta go.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Well, yes, actually... but they were my Aunt Edna's. And there were three of us in there.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "You're swell!", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I made Marcel's favorite dish, banana cake... with mealworm.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "A monkey's gotta work.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Did you just flick me?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Quit flicking! Stop flicking! You flicked me first!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Happy thoughts!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "If we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I'm hanging in. And a little out.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I don't do the casting.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Because I went to an all-boys high school, and God is making up for it?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "They do have the shrimp.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "But you know what would be even sexier? If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I hope you realize this means we'll miss hearing about the specials.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Somebody's been doing his 'Buns of Steel' video.", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "So you want me to clench anything or...?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "This is for the fourth grade.", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I was Susie Underpants till I was 18!", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this.", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back!", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "What made you make the exception for me? Rachel told me... you were dying to have a threesome with me and Drew Barrymore.", "c": ["Van Damme", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "That is my favorite sweater! That is my third-date sweater!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah? At least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy he was cute.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "This is crazy! Who can remember why you're fighting in the first place?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I'll help you throw out your purse.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I borrowed your gloves.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I'm wearing panties.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Talk about your bad luck! The first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Someone's flossing!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Hi, tushy!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "I'm getting heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Keep your panties on.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Chandler, can I borrow your G-string? How long you been waiting to say that? About 20 minutes!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Mommy! Can't you see what's going on? This man is dead!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The One After The Super Bowl (2)"}, {"t": "Well, thanks, man. Now I can get my pony.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Thanks, best bud.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Well, I've never been good to go, so... What the hell, why not try some jewelry.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Any idea what this will do for your sex life? It might slow down at first, but... once I'm used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Is it dirty? Oh, I'm gonna wash it. Don't. I like it dirty.", "c": ["Restaurant Manager", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 3.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Are they firm? They're okay. You sure they haven't gone bad? You sure they're not very, very bad?", "c": ["Restaurant Manager", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 2.65, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "I'm out of here!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Is it like 'at the bat' or 'and The Sunshine Band'?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "I guess he wants to do a little dance... you know, make a little love... Well, get down tonight.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Because she's your lobster.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples... walking around their tank, holding claws, like...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "You have to picture lobsters.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Yeah, I think that fifth shower got the interview off me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "There is the possibility that I won't make rent.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "You feel guilty and tense around them already. Might as well make some money off of them.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "No, no. It's not flashy. Not for a goodfella.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Man, that is sharp! That must have cost you quite a few doubloons.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "No, it's fun, it's fun. It's kinda like knowing one of the Gabor Sisters.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Wow, that is a surprise! Just one question. Why not Ross's room?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "We didn't want to disturb them. God forbid!", "c": ["Monica's parents", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Did I mention I still don't have a boyfriend? Well, I just assumed.", "c": ["Monica", "Monica's mother"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "I can't say any of us were surprised.", "c": ["Monica's father"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "What? What incident? No, no. I must be thinking of someone else. Maybe me!", "c": ["Monica's mother", "Monica's father"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Don't you have some folding to do? Fold. You fold.", "c": ["Monica's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "That was really good. I think I'm ready for my penis now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "I know what you're thinking. Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.", "c": ["Gail"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "He could have gotten me a VCR or a set of golf clubs. But no! He got me the 'woman repeller'!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "The eyesore from the Liberace House of Crap!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "'I pity the fool that puts on my jewelry! I do! I do!' 'I pity that fool...'", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Do your Marcel Marceau.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "It's like, back off, buddy! She's a waitress, not a geisha.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Ross Geller. God, in your ad you said you were pretty, but wow!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "You're welcome.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Saving me from a pleasant conversation with an interesting man?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "You're my lobster.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "In the tank! You know, with... with the holding and... Pheebs, you wanna help me with the lobster thing?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Do the claws again.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Except that what?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "You're getting good at that Marcel Marceau thing.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Doesn't the fact that I wore it... say how much our friendship means to me?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Well, that's the part where I'm a wank.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "I am here, on my knees... holding up these couch cushions... as a symbol of my sorrow and regret. Much like they did in biblical times.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Though you may haveth anger now...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying! It's right there!", "c": ["Jack (Monica's father)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "A woman in my office is a lesbian. I'm just saying!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Judy, relax. This is our little Harmonica we're talking about.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Hey, now you have two!", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Check it out! We're bracelet buddies! That's what they'll call us!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Hey, you're a cheap-a-saurus!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "I thought they used that to cover Connecticut when it rains.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "They had to reduce it because of my deviated septum.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Okay, I was wrong. That's what they use to cover Connecticut.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Some girl ate Monica!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "So how many cameras are actually on you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Looking good, Mr. Kotter.", "c": ["Monica's date"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "You know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. He was in the paper.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Take a chill pill.", "c": ["Monica's friend"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "My! Are you handsome!", "c": ["Monica's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Oh, dear! How do I turn this off? Press the button. Which one? Which button? Jack!", "c": ["Monica's mother", "Monica's father"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "I can't believe you did that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "See? He's her lobster!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "I don't know any of your flashdances, but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Prom Video"}, {"t": "Sweet mother of all that is good and pure!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Not that one.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "No, they were chair-shaped cows. They never would have survived in the wild.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Rose Marie belongs on a smaller screen, doesn't she?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Sun shining, birds chirping... Really? Mine too... Hey, cool! Mine too!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Give me two number ones, 86 the bacon, one Adam and Eve on a raft and wreck them! / It's James Bond!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "My God! You used to be so... I mean, you've... You must have lost like...", "c": ["Dr. Burke"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Since the divorce, everybody asks how I am with a sympathetic head tilt. 'How you doing? You okay?' / I always answer with the 'I'm okay' head bob. 'I'm okay.'", "c": ["Dr. Burke"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Of course, the divorce only left me with four CDs to change.", "c": ["Dr. Burke"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "What if we have to pee? / I'll cancel the sodas.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Because my parents wanted me to be. I wanted to be a sheriff.", "c": ["Dr. Burke"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Who needs glasses?", "c": ["Dr. Burke"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "27 is a dangerous eye age.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "It would help when I'm kissing if you didn't shout my sister's name.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Well, it's not. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you. You know, it's us. We're crossing that line.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Come on, touch my butt. Just one cheek... The moment's gone. I'll back up into your hands... Oh, come on! Would you just grab my ass?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "You've got a Cheeto on your face, man.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "But it was 1982 and my Flock of Seagulls haircut was tickling her chin.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "It certainly is a miracle.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Good. They feel good. In my head.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "No. Inside good. Outside bad.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "She's one of us now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "She's lying.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "He's like a brother to Dad.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Well, maybe he was nervous.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Why don't they just give him a microwave? / Clearly, they don't have a place to plug in.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm dating a man whose pool I once peed in.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you.", "c": ["Dr. Burke"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you know what? So is Sorentino's.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "No idea. It could be.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Thank God!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "We're not alone.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "It's not warm yet. We still have time.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Kno"}, {"t": "Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are on his hat?", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "That's what's weird? The man's been captain of a cereal for 40 years.", "c": ["Character B"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "The spoon! You licked and you put.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Only because I used the red one to unclog the drain.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Mine is the red one! Oh, God! Can open. Worms everywhere!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "The next time you shower...think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Look at you fancy lads!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "He's having a brunch.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "That's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "A chip.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "It's like having a bad haircut all the time.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Yeah, for my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, Dad said: 'God, I hope they get together.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "You could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Actually, Mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Finger cramp! Oh, God! Sorry. Here, let me get that, Mom.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "You just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.", "c": ["Mrs. Geller"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Just young enough so that everything is still pointing up.", "c": ["Mrs. Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "When you're in there, it's like peeing with the Rockettes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Well, there's my fantasy come true.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "That's all right, I saw a kitchen this morning. On TV.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Stop talking. Okay!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "You got your own little speedster.", "c": ["Mr. Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.", "c": ["Mr. Geller"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Foghorn Leghorn!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "What's 1922? Just, you know, a long time ago. When men used to tell women what to do a lot.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Then there was suffrage, which was a good thing. But it sounds horrible.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "You march in there and get that tattoo on your hip!", "c": ["Tattoo Artist"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "How you doing? I'm a twinkie! Really? I'm a hero.", "c": ["Monica", "Richard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "My parents are dead. God, you are so lucky! I mean... Well, you know what I mean.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Judy! Going to the bathroom. Good for you!", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "I know. He's a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.", "c": ["Mrs. Geller"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "With you, it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.", "c": ["Mr. Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "I saw the way you were checking out his moldings.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "It wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "We're not Bert and Ernie.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "You can spend more quality time with your real friends...the spoons!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Well, I just caught the live show.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "I'm the twinkie.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Upstairs in the bathroom, right before you felt up Mom!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "And did you know they do this with needles?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Really? You don't say? Because mine was licked on by kittens!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Lick away, my man!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "I've never been lower or wetter.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Your men will get scored on more times than your sister.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Which sister?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "This is a tattoo of the Earth as seen from a great, great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Your mother's in heaven going, 'Where the hell's my lily, you wuss!'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "We used it to fling water balloons off the roof. Remember? Those kids couldn't even get theirs across the street.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "You keep it. You need the practice.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Moves Out"}, {"t": "Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Get out. No. / Wow, Joey, this is, uh... / Art. / Art it is.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Well, check this out. Is it a coffee table? Is it, uh, a panther? There's no need to decide.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "So tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Hey, excellent water-table thing. / Thanks. I love this. But you know what? It makes me want to pee. / Yeah, me too. I think that's the challenge.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Well, uh, it's because he had a thing with the... With the thing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Nice toilet. / No, no, no. Behind it. / You have a phone in here? / That's right. I have a phone. In here.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Joey, promise me something. / Yeah. / Never call me from that phone.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Ross, if you care about me, get the pie out of the man's hood.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "What are you doing? / I'm sorry. My pie was in your hood.", "c": ["Stranger", "Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "I have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Calm down. I'm blow-drying. / Blow-drying what? You have no hair.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Get out, you doofus!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Or, you know, he's rubber and you're glue.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "I've never wanted you more.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "You know what they say: Ask your slippers a question... you're going crazy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "You had a thing. / Yeah, well, I hear the place looks great. / Oh, forget about it. I'm having a ball, ha.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Was that the oven timer? / That's right, my friend. / It's time for Baywatch! / Baywatch!", "c": ["Chandler", "Eddie", "Eddie", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer? / I can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant.", "c": ["Joey", "Eddie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time running. Run. Run, Yasmine. Run like the wind.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "I figured I'd have time alone with my thoughts. But it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "He's decorated.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Oh. Oh, I thought they were just watching me. Like at an aquarium, you know?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Honey, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about $100 a minute to be in here.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Look at the cranial ridge, okay? If Dino was a velociraptor, he'd have eaten the Flintstones.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Did she leave a number? / Did you see me write one down? / I don't have her number, butt-munch.", "c": ["Rachel", "Eddie", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Sweetie, before I forget, did I leave my diaphragm at your place? / Hi, Mom.", "c": ["Monica's mom", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Is that Joey guy gonna pick up his moose hat or should I toss it?", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "At the, uh, supermarket in the, uh, ethnic-food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "When'd you start using moose in your hair?", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "It'll never last. He's just a rebound roommate.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I know. I sound amazing!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Pretty, uh, different, huh? / Oh, I am sorry, but I'm incredibly talented.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "I do, but, uh, Eddie makes them this way. They're pretty darn good.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "All right, that's it! He just comes in here, Mr. Johnny New Eggs... with his moving the mail and his: 'See you, pals.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "And now there's no juice! There's no juice for the people who need the juice. I need the juice!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Nobody likes two kinds of eggs equally. You like one better, and I wanna know which.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "You took your eggs, and you left! Did you really expect me to never find new eggs?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Look, I refuse to get sucked into this weird little Geller dimension thing, okay?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, all right?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "I hated you when we were kids. / You hated me when we were kids? / Yes. I hated you.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "I loved you in a you're-my-brother-so-I-have-to way... but basically, I hated your guts.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! She's smelly cat!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Oh, oh, that song has so many levels.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "You like that show? / You don't? / Ha, ha, what...? No. I mean, it's just pretty people running around on the beach.", "c": ["Eddie", "Joey", "Eddie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Well, that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people. And the running.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Eddie Moves In"}, {"t": "Doesn't she know you can't define yourself in terms of money? That it's about values and morals... ...and your ability to give and receive love?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["Unknown soap character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "It's like Brad to have to have the last word.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "There's something I never told you. I'm actually your half-brother.", "c": ["Soap opera characters"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "...where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "God, that is good TV!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar... ...forced to play soccer forever?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Don't feel so bad. After playing... ...I break out the plastic women and everybody has a good time.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I have to go, because I'm late for... ...my Green Eggs and Ham discussion group.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Tonight, it's 'Why he would not eat them on a train.'", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "So you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets or...?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "She actually thought Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "When everybody knows that the capital of Cambodia is... It's not Sean Penn.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "My last girlfriend, Tilly. We're eating breakfast, right? I made these pancakes. Like, 50 pancakes.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "It was literally like she had reached into my chest... ...ripped out my heart and smeared it all over my life!", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "There was this incredible abyss and I'm falling. I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop!", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "That wasn't such a funny story.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "And a crusty old man Said I'll do what I can And the rest of the rats Played maracas", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Phoebe's got another job, right?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "I don't have my jammies.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "She likes me best. And apparently, there have been a lot.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Phoebe's dead.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Can I take a message or... Or a fish tank?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "your name came up... ...in a conversation that terrified me to my very soul.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Is Eddie a little... A little what? ...bit country? Or... You know, a little rock 'n' roll?", "c": ["Chandler", "Tilly"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "You had sex with her.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "That's one of my favorite digests!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die. But I made it, 'If this woman doesn't get to a hospital... ...she's not gonna live.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, okay. I see what you did there.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Makes up most of his lines. Son of a...", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Write this, jerk-weed. I fall down an elevator shaft?", "c": ["Writer", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "They can't kill me! I'm Francesca's long-lost son!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "I don't think that will affect the plot of the show.", "c": ["Script delivery guy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Two? Two?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "How is that possible? I mean... ...have you seen you?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Okay, it is definitely less than a ballpark.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Better not be doing these in order.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, the weenie from Turinie.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "All it really was was just meaningless, animal sex.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Okay, you know, that sounded so much better in my head.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "You sleep with my ex-girlfriend, insult my intelligence by lying... ...then you kill my fish? My Buddy?", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Would you look at what I'm doing? Now that can't be smart.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "So we're just gonna take this guy right off you... ...and put him here in Mr. Pocket.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "You had me thinking it was, like, a fleet.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh, my God! Am I an oat?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Invite Paolo to have a romp in the sack... ...and I'll stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Not even, like... ...chipmunk sex?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "It was good with Paolo. - Knock-knock.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "There's only one.", "c": ["Monica or Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "I have a comb.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "I'll give this to you now, if you tell me where we keep the dustpan.", "c": ["Monica or Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "So were you in Nam?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "You've got it totally the other way around, my friend. Jon Voight...", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "In the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "So when I woke up this morning... ...he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Because sometimes after you sleep with someone... ...you have to kill a fish.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, okay. All right. I love you. Yeah, whatever.", "c": ["Joey's character", "Other character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Now maybe.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "And some of us really have to pee!", "c": ["Unknown friend"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "They said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in... ...that the only doctor who could've saved me was me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Like, the other day, I got this credit card application... ...and I was pre-approved!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "You'll always be pre-approved with us.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "That means nothing to me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Are these raisins? Sure, why not?", "c": ["Eddie", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "I got a little surprise. Look. There's a new fishy. I named him... ...Chandler, you know, after you.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Well, that's not even a real fish. No, that's a Goldfish cracker.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "So what's your point, man?", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "You big freak of nature!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "Let's never speak of this.", "c": ["Ross or Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"}, {"t": "What are you doing here? - Watching you sleep.", "c": ["Chandler", "Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "It makes me feel, um, peaceful.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Hannibal Lecter? Better roommate than you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "What about the other nights when you don't see me, huh?", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Last night you went and got some water... and I was nice enough to hide behind the door.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Where'd you hear it before?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Finally got that time machine working, huh?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "A mirror?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Cachet? Jaunty? Chandler gave me word-of-the-day toilet paper.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "And the wind can make us goddesses. Do you know who takes our wind? Men. They just take it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "That sounds kind of cool. It's like The Hobbit.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "It is nothing like The Hobbit.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Hello. Who wants one of my phallic-shaped man-cakes?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Do I have lipstick on my teeth?", "c": ["Agent"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Take any job you can get, and don't make on the floor.", "c": ["Agent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "This book could have been called Be Your Own Wind Keeper, Rachel!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Actually, it's the movie theater that has the timetable.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "You go, girl!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "I can't pull that off, can I?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "You know I don't... have a problem with that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Sorry. Damn it!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "This is why I don't date women who read.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Envelope one of two.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "The guy said they suited me. He spoke with an accent. I was confused.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Joey, you owe $1100 at 'I Love Lucite.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "I don't need you getting judgmental and condescending and pedantic. - Toilet paper? - Yeah.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "What I do know is you owe $2300 at 'Isn't It Chromantic?'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Maybe because the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Your last roommate's kidney? That's a tomato.", "c": ["Eddie", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "I used to be Brice on All My Children.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "This is not out of the blue! This is smack-dab in the middle of the blue!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Five-O dollars.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "You were going for bridge there, weren't you?", "c": ["Casting Director"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "You totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power. And his puppet too!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Only because you took up half the circle!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "You are such a leaf blower!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Judas is a little loose.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "You're living the dream!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Uh, it was an impulse buy. Near the register.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "There is no alley behind Macy's.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "We'll make it a chip chick.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "We took a road trip to Las Vegas! Oh, sweet Moses!", "c": ["Eddie", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Is anyone else starting to really like him?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "I guess I got the wrong apartment.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Goodbye, you fruit-drying psychopath.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "What happened to the foosball? It's a cantaloupe.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Is he housetrained or will he leave little bathroom tiles all over?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Eddie Wont Go"}, {"t": "Why are you guys upset? It's Old Yeller. It's a happy movie.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say, 'The end.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "He doesn't have rabies. He has babies.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, no. No, no, Travis, put down the gun. No, no, he's your buddy. He's your Yeller. No! The end! The end!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Okay, what kind of a sick doggy snuff film is this?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "One of these times, you'll really be naked and we won't come over.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "That teach me a lesson.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "How do you find clothes that fit?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "All right, yes, I see other women in the shower at the gym. And no, I don't look.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Did you see that play? You want more beer? Is that Spike Lee?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "That's Eric. Glad to be of help. Matches.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Plus, he's old", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "er than some people. But younger than some buildings.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "How do we say yes and make it seem like it's not just to ride in the cool car?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "We'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "You almost had it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "We know. He already did it last week. You can watch our tape if you want.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "What else? Has he spoken? Is he driving? Does he have a favorite liqueur?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "He can't quite say 'mama' yet, but once he said 'Yemen.'", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved! He's never waved before!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Yes, he has. Very good.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "All you need now is The Killing Fields and guacamole, and you got a party!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "You know, before she killed herself.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "After we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "He let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks. Me for 15.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "He must like you best.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Hey, Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats. You're welcome. Hey, Joey, thanks for parking the car. No problem.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "He kept my dollar.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "A woman I went to college with is the first female blacksmith there. They're a little behind the times in colonial Williamsburg.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Joey, do you know we can see you from here?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "You may wanna light it and lose the spatula.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Not like him, per se. Just not unlike him.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "We flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the mustache. If we both grew them, we'd look like dorks.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "You really sidestepped that land mine.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "You hear that? We're the guys!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "With that mustache, he reminds me of Aunt Sylvia. Thank you!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "A while ago, I got a 'seh' out of him, which I thought might turn into 'seh-condary caregiver,' but...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "He's a baby, not a bomb.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "This is how I would hold a football.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Actually, I kind of think that we'll have two babies. You know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully, the girl will come first, so Ben won't feel competitive.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "We won't wanna raise kids in the city, so we'll move to Scarsdale. We'll be far enough from our parents so we don't have to see them, but close enough that they can baby-sit.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "And yes, I know the taxes are a little higher than Nassau County, but the school system's great.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "I don't have a pot. Maybe I've got one at home. Or in Scarsdale. Hey, is that a door?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Charlotte who? With the web. The spider. She dies. She has babies and dies. It's like, 'Welcome home from the hospital.' Thud!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "I fell for that with Pride of the Yankees. I thought I'd see a film about Yankee pride. And boom! The guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "The guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kind of see it coming?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "I just got my Pik-Up Stiks back from the shop.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "They don't start sentences with 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Then, go Vassar! They're not in it. Okay, then just go.", "c": ["Monica", "Richard", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "You'll just die or divorce or blow your pet's head off.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "If not, I can learn how to do a bikini wax with leftover Christmas candles.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "You've planned out the next 20 years. We've dated for six weeks!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "The Big Book of Children's Names.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "You're with a guy who won't stop planning his future with you. He knows we'll end up together. If that scares you, tough! You'll have to deal with that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "I don't know if I was happier when George Bailey destroyed the business, or Donna Reed cried or when the pharmacist made his ear bleed.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "It should've been called: 'It's a Sucky Life, And Just When You Think It Can't Suck Anymore, It Does!'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Could that shot be any prettier?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Really? I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800s.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Nice mustache. At puberty, that thing will really kick in.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "That's why we don't let her play.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "He is so much cooler than our dads. Our dads are okay and all, but Richard is just\u2014", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "You guys see me as a dad?", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "When we say 'dad,' we mean 'buddy.' We mean 'pal.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "No, seriously. Joey's my dad. Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "For a really cool guy, you suck at foosball.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Calling it a 'poopy diaper' doesn't make this process any cuter.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "No, my Uncle Hi.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I just bring it out in him.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Now, I've looked ahead on the tape, and he does find him again. But before that happens, there's some rough going for a while.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"}, {"t": "Why are we watching the Business Channel? Because the other day I saw there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Sometimes it takes two or three hours before it comes up again. But when it does, it's exciting.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Honey, you really need a job.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say, 'Huh?'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Which is my father's last name... And they were serving franks... which is his first name, minus the 's' at the end.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "His Indian name?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Hamburger? McDonald's? Old McDonald had a farm. My dad is a pharmacist.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Ah.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Okay. There is one more way to say it. Who knows it?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Is that supposed to be funny? Actually, I was going for colorful.", "c": ["Bully", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My joke is that I took your hat.", "c": ["Bully"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "You know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Because it's a special hat. He bought it because he was feeling down one day. So he got the hat to cheer himself up, you know?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Stop talking. Stop talking now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Let me get this straight. You're stealing my hat? You got a problem? I just want to make sure we're on the same page.", "c": ["Chandler", "Bully"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "How can I take a job where I have to make Laverne-and-Curly Fries?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Monica, relax. Go get a beer. I don't want a beer. Who said it was for you?", "c": ["Joey", "Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Oh, hi. Oh... Oh, no, wait a minute. I have no one.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Forget it. It's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Do you realize that if I'd invested my $127 in myself yesterday... that I'd, like, have a lot more than that today.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "What's to know? Buy, sell. High, low. Bears, bulls. Yes, Manhattan. Telephone number to the stock... selling store.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "No mayo. No, because mayo, that would make it gross.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Get the hell off my leg, you yippity piece of crap!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "The dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich. What does that tell you?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Do you have to be a Century 21 real-estate agent to get to wear those cool jackets?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Do you say this stuff to girls?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "I'll tell you what, you call the couch, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "We didn't want to have to go and do that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Let's take this outside.", "c": ["Bully"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Who talks like that?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "The guy who's about to kick your ass talks like that. You had to ask.", "c": ["Bully", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "I think you played the Gunther card too soon.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "I just think that this was a really bad sign. Like the beast at the threshold.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we shared a womb.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Uh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Time is money, my friend! You missed 'Takes money to make money' and 'Don't make me come down there and kick your Wall Street butt.'", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "I had breakfast here, so technically I saved $3.50.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Erik Estrada. And ZXY because I think it sounds 'zexy.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "MEG was good for me, but I dumped her. My motto is, 'Get out before they go down.' That is so not my motto.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "And he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back. So still hoping.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "What will I say, 'Hi, I'm the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "I know where your dog is. I want you to know he'll be returned to you almost as good as new within 24 hours. Goodbye.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Why the voice? Hard to say.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "The package says to keep it moving. Stir and drink, never let it settle.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "And I don't want to drink cappuccino with a 'k.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Ross, have you ever been beaten up before? Yeah, sure. By someone besides Monica? No.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Because I think actually mine's growing back.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "I don't want to have to wear flame-retardant boobs.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Nobody does, honey.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "If it's raining, you can't let him look up too long because that cone will fill up fast.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "He left four years ago. We're expecting him back any minute.", "c": ["Frank's Wife"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "One time, I was upstairs stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse, and all of a sudden I look over, and there's Dad's head, bobbing past the window.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "But you know what's cool? If you had a friend named Pete, I could say: 'I know Pete. He's friends with my brother.'", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "If you want, I can show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Bullies! Big bullies!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "A nice watch. I don't want to break it on your ribs.", "c": ["Bully"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Question: If I don't care about my watch, can I use it as a weapon? It's sharp, it's metal. I think I can do some serious damage with it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Of course. Why wouldn't you hit faces? I have to work on Monday. I have a big presentation.", "c": ["Bully", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Actually, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow, and this no-faces thing might not be a bad idea. Dana's ovulating. Oh, really? You guys trying again?", "c": ["Other Bully", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Let me get this straight. We're talking about the middle?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Those guys are taking our stuff! Hey, hey!", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Any one of us could have tripped over that little girl's jump rope.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "So can I have my hat back? No. Huh.", "c": ["Chandler", "Bully"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Hi, Monica! How's it going? Hey, nice boobs.", "c": ["Gunther", "Customer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "It's fun to stay at the YMCA", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Bullies"}, {"t": "Question. Why do we always have parties where you poach things?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Question 2. Why do we always have parties with committees?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "I agree. Fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside. And I'm not sure we are.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Wow, it's like porno for clowns!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Or maybe she doesn't and Joey slept with her and never called her back.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Hey, I liked her. Maybe too much. I don't know. I guess I just got scared. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't think anyone would buy that. Okay!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "My cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "It's a testament to what a girl from Long Island will do for a Celica.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Happy birthday, Rachel. Here's some goo!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "This isn't your first surprise party, is it, sir?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus. So basically, just a Chinese guy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "That sounds like a two-person job.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Yes, because you look so young. And because you're both, you know, white women.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "What would Jack and Chrissy do?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Why, again?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Because that's where the party is, you goon!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "This is clearly in the wrong apartment.", "c": ["Dr. Greene"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "At least send some women to my party.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Now, you can exchange them if you want, okay? Now I love you even more.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Really? No, I knew.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Both of them are here? Both of them? Both of them are here?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Well, we could count again?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Well, actually... just one birthday flan. It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert. Talk to Monica. She's on the food committee.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you, Dennis'... and stuck her tongue down my throat. I love this party!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "You didn't like that gray lamp, did you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Stay clear of 'I'm the guy that's doing your daughter'... and you should be okay.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "When you're not using the markers, put the caps back on them... because they will dry out.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "It's not a game, Ross. A woman died on my table today. That's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.", "c": ["Dr. Greene", "Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "You want to push the caps... until you hear them click.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "She'll yell at me again.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "In a minute, I'll create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass. Neat! Cool. Neat, as in no rocks. I know.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Stay clear of the salmon mousse.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Mine too. Isn't that neat? Scotch neat.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "What a great moment to say that for the first time.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Monica, your party sucks.", "c": ["Unknown guest"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Oh, no! Did someone forget to use a coaster?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Great, I'm seeing water rings again.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "I have a condition apparently... that I require... two different sets of focals.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Neil Sedaka wears them.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Yeah, like a chimney. Big smoker. Big, big smoker.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "I was just warming up the earpieces for you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Yes, it is. I was just moistening the tip.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Everything you've heard is true.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Joe, if these people find out that my spelling game's over there... there'll be nobody left at our party.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "All right, I'm sorry. But these people needed me. They work hard all week. It's Saturday night. They deserve to have a little fun. Go!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "It's a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun. But if people would just give it a chance, it's...", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father.", "c": ["Mrs. Greene"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "I felt like Gulliver.", "c": ["Dr. Greene"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "What the hell does she want with half a boat?", "c": ["Dr. Greene"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "I got a lot of 'champs,' 'chiefs,' 'sports.' I even got a 'governor.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "She gets the house, he's in a condo my sister will decorate with wicker.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "I relied on a carefully regimented program... of denial... and wetting the bed.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Because it reminded you of the way... our forefathers used to bitch at each other?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "It never occurred to anybody to bring another one.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "What are you doing? I'm getting ready for the water skiing.", "c": ["Mrs. Greene", "Dr. Greene"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Sorry, we're on a major flan high.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Or perhaps you'd like a cr\u00e9me de menthe. I have to be heading toward my chateau.", "c": ["Dr. Greene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Yep! Get ready for the gelatinous fun.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Looks like that stuff you get when you get an infection.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Heads up! Wow! Those things almost never come true.", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Two Parties"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I'm so much faster.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "That was there when I got here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Quick, tell us before he swallows.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Ryan threw in saltwater taffy because he didn't have change.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "No, he's my submarine guy. He resurfaces every couple years...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "So this guy goes down for, like, two years at a time?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "That'll teach you to lick my muffin.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "I've never had it. I feel so left out. Oh, look!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "The baddest. Otherwise, the song would be 'Fat, Fat Leroy Brown.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "You're pretty much running that risk either way.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "They should be facing up not down...because the head of the bed is where the sun would be.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "You don't love me anymore, do you?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "You know, one day you're processing, the next day...you're not so much processing anymore.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Are all you processors dorks?", "c": ["Unknown coworker"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "See, you look beautiful. For God sakes, dim the lights.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Ryan's been underwater. He's just gonna be glad you don't have barnacles on your butt.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Chicken or small? / Chicken, which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian.", "c": ["Ryan", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "If I had one wish, I'd go back to when I was 7...when Jimmy Hauser had chickenpox, and rub that kid all over my face.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Yeah, or you could wish that I didn't have them now.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "It could be lox, I wouldn't care. / And you hate fish.", "c": ["Ryan", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "The lightning was an unfortunate coincidence.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Okay. This is the most romantic disease I've ever had.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "I figure my character has kids. / There isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Ashley copies everything Brittany does.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "You know what? Just did. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "I wanna grab these houses and rub them all over my body.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Let's just be bad. It'll feel so good. Come on. Oh, God, help me.", "c": ["Ryan", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "I might've expected this of Phoebe. But, Ryan, you're a military man.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "She make me doing. That's a nice color on you. You will become pink and blunch baby. I hope you get a Winnie pork.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "You'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "I'm going to kill you. / Hey, I just figured Joseph's the kind of guy who likes to mix it up.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "See, in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "One of my things is I always separate my sweat socks...from my dress socks.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "You would not. / I can't believe this. I hate this. You're too normal.", "c": ["Monica", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "I think he's a brown-nosing suck-up.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "I can sleep with his wife. / Not Karen!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Chandie. The rogue processor who seduces his coworkers' wives...and then laughs about it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "No, freak show, she's fictional!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "And the kids, you gonna put a pour like summer.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "A low-budget puppet show. / A shame you can't see what finger I'm holding up.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Visual: Phoebe and Ryan finally give in to passionate moment despite chickenpox", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ryan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "I have to sleep on the west side...because I grew up in California...and otherwise...the ocean would be on the wrong side.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You're a freak! How about that?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Wow, it's neat learning about submarines.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Oh, I just got that!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Wait, I forgot to turn off the cappuccino machine.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "Anchors aweigh.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Chicken Pox"}, {"t": "After the scene... Mr. Beatty comes up to me and he says, 'Good actor. Bad kisser.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "That's like... Mother Teresa, not a good mother. Pfft.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "What does Warren Beatty know about kissing? Heh.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh. Heh, heh.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Forget it. - Yeah, right.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "I'll do it. I've kissed him before. I can do it again.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Good. Very good. Firm, but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Over my dead body.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "looking like something you drink when you're nauseous.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you promised Barry you'd marry him.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Get a little action?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! Stud! ... Whoo-hoo! Geek!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "You know how I tend to get a little defended and quippy? - Get out. - No. Please.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Stop it. You're freaking me out. ... Yeah. I don't like you this way.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "I think my boyfriend's ever so dreamy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Afraid to ask him? - Could not be more terrified.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Give Rachel another chance to dress like Princess Bubble Yum.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "That's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grownups to cut it out.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Like a hound?", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm talking hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, we don't have your sheep.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "You, I could eat you with a spoon.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "She likes art... and I like funny words.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Are you the cutest? - I'm afraid I might just be.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "It could be like a big, giant guy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "How do you not fall down more?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "That's why you never see pigeons in sushi bars.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "in the bathroom, I saw the window I crawled out of at my wedding.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Why didn't you tell me? - What could I do? Stand up and shout, 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "when I was in eighth grade... and I had to sing the 'Copacabana' in front of the entire school. Two lines into it, I ran and freaked out.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Ross, would you stop! You got me. I'm dating you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "In fact, I hardly expected to see so much.", "c": ["Mr. Weinberg"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "You told me you didn't see anything. - I tell you a lot of things.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter, hyphen, Farber.", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "At our wedding, they were packing up the chopped liver about now.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "After you ran out on your wedding... Barry's parents told people you were sort of... insane. - Insane? - From the syphilis.", "c": ["Mindy", "Rachel", "Barry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "What were they gonna say? You didn't love me anymore? Come on.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "She wants to know what's wrong. - What's wrong? You're married! That's what's wrong!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "What if the husband is the wrong guy and you are the right guy?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "If you don't meet her, you'll kick yourself when you're 80... which is hard to do and that's how you break a hip.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "No, wait! You have to take a shower because ew! And I'll get the... No, you have to answer her. Answer her first. No, make some coffee because it's too much.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Tall and tan, and young and lovely... Okay, one more, please. I'm gonna get it in this time.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "But I want her so badly... I do. I have to have children. I'm sorry, I just do.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "What? You hired the same band. I can't use the same speech?", "c": ["Best Man"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Not a lot of women would have the guts to come back here. And even fewer who'd do it with their asses hanging out.", "c": ["Best Man"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Which, incidentally, worked out pretty well for me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "And once again, she is out of here! Okay, who had 9:45?", "c": ["Barry", "Wedding Guest"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "I promised myself I'd make it through at least one of your weddings.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Her name was Lola, She was a showgirl... With yellow feathers in her hair And a dress cut down to there...", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Copa, Copacabana, The hottest spot north of Havana... At the Copa, Copacabana, Music and passion were always In fashion at the Copa", "c": ["Everyone"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "If kids is what it takes to be with you, then kids it is.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "And if you hadn't have said... 'If I have to,' like, 17 times... then I'd be saying, 'Okay, let's do it.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Yeah, because life's just that kind.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "like a watched pot. If you keep looking at it, the door's never gonna boil.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh... my... God.", "c": ["Chandler", "Janice"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "I've been feeling incredibly guilty because I wanna be a good friend. And damn it, I am a good friend. So shut up and close your eyes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "You are a good friend. The audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding"}, {"t": "She totally winked at me! - She did not wink at you. You always think somebody's winking at you.", "c": ["Unknown1", "Unknown2"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Hold me close, young Tony Danza", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "I got a call at 2 in the morning and all I could hear was this squeaky sound. So I thought, 'Oh, it's a mouse or a possum.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "I can't believe I date a girl who's getting divorced. I'm such a grownup.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Kiss her. Kiss her!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "So when are you dumping her?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Come on, quit yanking me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "I'm not breaking up with her!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "God, look what I found in the drain! It's some of Richard's hair!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Getting it away from me would be job one.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Cool! Oh, it looks like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "I need to get some Richard.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "What are you, the Memory Woman?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "They're not breaking up! He didn't blink!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "We'll call that Plan B.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "You remember not having sex in high school, right? Yeah.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "If you tell me, I might do it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Yeah, Princess Leia and the gold bikini? Oh, every guy our age loved that. It's huge! That's the moment when she stopped being a princess and she became, like, you know, a woman.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "No, it's just that I got this new pager, and I have it on 'vibrate.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Oh, they sent me home. Why? Because I don't work at the Szechuan Dragon.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "It's Count Rushmore! You should really go on this show.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "We always go together. We're like The Three Hockey-teers, you know?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Look, I don't hate Janice. She's just a lot to take, you know?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Don't worry, those are the right letters.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna pull my arm off so I have something to throw at her.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Who are you talking to when you do that?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Both of those Joey?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Did you talk about the Night of Five Times?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Do you tell people about the Night of Five Times?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "No, no, no. Not a Richard thing. Just put down the glass and get out.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "There are no questions in the happy place.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Betting and wagering of any kind are not permitted in the happy place.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "I'm still awake, and now I have to pee.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "A little birdie told me you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Does it have to be a day?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me. I sleep in the next room.", "c": ["Janice", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Like stuff you like. Stuff she likes. Technique. Stamina. Girth.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Girth? Why? Why? Why?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "And then all of a sudden, your mom pops into your head. And you're, like, 'Mom, get out of here!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Your mom? You're telling me about your mom? What's the matter with you? I said 'share,' not 'scare'!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "And, uh, you know, I love this woman.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "It was Bat Day at Shea Stadium.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Oh. Really? Oh, yeah! I always picture your mom when I'm having sex.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Really? Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Do you think he was waiting till after you left, so he could cry?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "I hate Chandler. The bastard ruined my life!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's fat. I drank fat!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "We have to be out the door at 7:40. / We have a half-hour. / That was four minutes ago.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "How come you didn't come over earlier? / Because I'm a stupid, stupid man.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "And that takes, what? Just 6 or 7 minutes? / Yeah. Once I figure out what I'm wearing.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Glass of fat?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "You wanna hear it? / Am I in it? / After I thank everyone for donating to the museum... I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Thank you. I know, though.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "All right, I took the quiz. And it turns out I do put career before men.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Well, it's not like I went to Spain.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Well, actually, the last place you were sitting was in there, so...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Are you gonna do magic?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "That's funny. Change.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "He could not, would not, want to wait.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "I don't know. You might be the first one.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called, 'Get up!'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "It's me, I'm coming over. What if I'm already there when you play this message? Is that too spooky?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "You know what I did? I got dressed.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Not touching. Can't get mad! Not touching. Can't get mad!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "You rotten boys!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Maybe he called to say you're obsessive and crazy?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "I am so comfortable. / Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "When I get back, it's Chair City. And I'm the guy... who's sitting in a chair!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Not 'out of that.' Not 'out' of clothes.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "How could it not be breezy? No. Because you're in such a breezy place.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "What a cool job. 'You have two new messages.' Please pass the pie.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "You can't say you're 'breezy.' That negates the 'breezy.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Now, she sounded breezy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "So in the words of A.A. Milne, 'Get out of my chair, dill-hole.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "That's right! I'm taking the essence.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler, I would like back one of these days.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Hey, what you do on your own time...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Because I'm not wearing any underwear now.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "What, are you gonna show me my clothes? / Hey, opposite... is opposite. / He's got nothing!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "What are you supporting? / Christmas.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "What time is it? It's 7:33. I have 7 minutes. I have seven minutes!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Yeah, pants! What an idea! Or better yet, go without pants.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Donald Duck never wore pants. But when he gets out of the shower... he always puts a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "That bitch always hated me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna go. / You're not gonna go? / No, I think I'm gonna catch up on my correspondence.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "So I think that will accomplish the 'not going.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "I'm just, I don't know, not in a very museum benefit-y kind of mood.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Look at me! I'm Chandler. Could I be wearing any more clothes?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "I better not do any, I don't know, lunges.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "You could drink the fat.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Okay, vanilla milkshake. Just a vanilla milkshake... with chicken bits floating in it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Let's see what else he'll do!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Maybe I'm getting my period or something. I don't know.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Oh, and by the way... What? I'm going commando too.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "All right, that's it. Give me your underwear.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where No Ones Ready"}, {"t": "Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Hey, look at me! I'm making jam! I've been at it since 4 a.m.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Down at the docks. You know, you can get it wholesale. / I didn't know there were docks.", "c": ["Monica", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "You tell the doctor you did it jumping on your bed? / No. I had a whole story worked out, but then... Chandler sold me out.", "c": ["Unknown", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "I didn't think the doctor would buy that it 'fell out of the socket'.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Jam? I love jam! How come we never have jam at our place? / Because the kids need new shoes.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "I'm sick of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan. A plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Joey, don't! It's way too hot!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "This'll just be my batch.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "One more chance, Ursula. Please. / This is awkward. Yeah, because you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters.", "c": ["Malcolm", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "I am such a dingus! / Oh, you're not a dingus.", "c": ["Malcolm", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Once, in junior high school, I thought I was a witch. And a guidance counselor told me something that might help you. He said, 'Okay, you're not a witch. You're just an average student.' / See what I'm saying? / Not really.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Malcolm"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Well, get over it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "You don't have to walk behind me anymore.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "It's an empty apartment. We're all alone in an empty apartment. / I have to be at work in 10 minutes. / All right. It's not like I'm employee of the year or anything.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Do I look fat? / No. / I accept that.", "c": ["Chandler", "Unknown", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "When Janice asked me and I said no, she thought I was calling her a cow.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "You looked at her? / You never look. You just answer. It's like a reflex. 'Do I look fat?' 'No.' 'Is she prettier than I am?' 'No.'", "c": ["Unknown", "Ross/Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "'Does size matter?' / And it works both ways.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Janice is coming back from a trip. She gives you two options. Option one: She'll take a cab home from the airport. Option two: You can meet her at baggage claim. What do you do? / Easy. Baggage claim. / Wrong! Now you're single.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "It's actually secret option number three. You meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Sorry, honey. We can't help you there, because we're cuddly sleepers.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "I thought you were 'cuddly sleepers'. / No, not cuddly. Not me. Just her. I'm like you. I need the room.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Now, you wait for her to drift off... and then you hug her... and roll her over to her side of the bed. And then you... roll away.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Hug for her. Roll for you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "The old 'hug and roll'. One question. You're pretending the pillow's a girl, right?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Remember when you were a kid, your mom would send you to the movies... with a jar of jam and a little spoon?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "You're so pretty.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "First, I'm not crazy. And second, say it, don't spray it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Because of the restraining order.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! You've got a crush on your sister's stalker.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "I didn't stalk her. / I asked for the news, not the weather.", "c": ["Joey", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Joe, I got to ask. The girl from the xerox place, buck naked... or a big tub of jam? / Put your hands together.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "No more jam? What happened to your jam plan? / I figured out I'd need to charge $17 a jar just to break even. So I've got a new plan now. Babies.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Well, you'll need much bigger jars.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Aren't you forgetting something? What is that guy's name? Dad!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "I don't need an actual man. Just a few of his best swimmers. / Down to the docks again?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Look at all the room on her side! A giant penguin could fit over there. That'd be weird, though.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Hug and roll time. I'm hugging. I'm hugging. You're rolling, and... Yes! Freedom! Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Time for the old tablecloth trick. One fluid motion. Quick like a cat. And one, two... three!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Here's my binoculars. / These are my night-vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park.", "c": ["Malcolm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "And these are 'Madlibs'. They're just for fun.", "c": ["Malcolm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "'I met Phoebe today.' 'She was really nice to me even though I'm such a loser.' 'And when I was walking home, I thought about her a lot.' 'It was weird, but kind of cool.'", "c": ["Malcolm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "So what were you thinking? / I was thinking what it'd be like to kiss you. / Really? / No. That's just something I said now so that maybe I could kiss you.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Malcolm"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "No, it's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "He describes himself as a male Gina Davis. / You mean there's more than one of us?", "c": ["Monica", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "You can't do this, Mon. If you do this, I'll... / You'll what? / I'll tell Mom.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "It may not be ideal, but... / Oh, it's not... / Lips moving. Still talking.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Under personal comments: 'New York Knicks rule.' / Yeah, the Knicks rule! / Joey, this is you!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "You went to a sperm bank? / Right after I did that sex study at NYU. Remember that sweater I gave you? / That's how you bought it? / No. That's what I was wearing when I donated.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "I'm surprised there's any of my boys left.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "You're taking the word of a guy who has night-vision goggles?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Wake up and smell the restraining order.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Crazy Chandler spun me... off the bed. / Wow! Spinning! Sounds like fun. / I wish. He was just trying Ross' 'hug and roll' thing.", "c": ["Janice", "Joey", "Janice"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Oh... my... God!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Well, what do you know? There goes my identical twin sister! Just walking along, looking like me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Is this a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?", "c": ["Malcolm"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Stalk me for a while, huh? I'll be like an Ursula patch.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Sperm or regular?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "I always pictured you with a tall, smart, blond guy with a name like... Hoyt. / It's a name. Yeah.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "You have a sign that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet. Don't pee in our pool.' / We don't have that sign. / You do! It was a gift from me.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Wow! This guy's an astronaut? / That would have been cool... for a day.", "c": ["Joey", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "I called the sperm bank. They haven't sold a single unit of Tribbiani. Nobody wants my product.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Maybe if they met me in person.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "You got a thing on your... Get it? Yeah.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "Chan, can I talk to you for a second? / Just one additional relationship thought. Something you're probably aware of. Women talk.", "c": ["Ross", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Jam"}, {"t": "...but these cartons are so flinging, flanging hard to open!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "-Intrigued? -You're flinging, flanging right I am!", "c": ["Mike", "Kevin"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "It's official. There are no good movies. So let's go to a bad one, and make out.", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Perhaps you'd like me to turn so you can bunny-bump against my back?", "c": ["Character B"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "I'll tell you, I do enjoy guilt... but it wasn't me.", "c": ["Character C"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Okay, it was me! -How was it you? -Well, it was all so crazy, you know?", "c": ["Character D", "Character E"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10... and I hadn't found a place to hide yet.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See? All of it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "See? Now, this is why I keep notepads everywhere. Yep. And that's why we don't invite you to play.", "c": ["Character F", "Character G"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "She only talks to agents. -What a sad little life she must lead.", "c": ["Character H", "Character I"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Hi, this is Caitlin from Phoebe Buffay's office.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "So your husband leaves and burns down the apartment. The world doesn't stop.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Oh, now you want a pad.", "c": ["Character J"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "He carries it everywhere, like a security blanket. But with ski boots and a kicky beret.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "...in show business.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Has anybody seen my left boob?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Here it is. What are you doing? I'm sorry. It just felt nice.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "I only got one arm. You should do stuff for me. Get me a sweater.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "And that's bad... because you hate chicken piccata?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "You didn't want to share your tomatoes. Tomatoes are very important to you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "I've never been through the tunnel myself because... you're not allowed through with more than one girl in the car.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "If I'm staring down the barrel of a gun... I'm gonna be pretty much peeing every which way.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Sure, that's what it's there for. Emergencies and pretend agents.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Went through a tunnel. Unbelievable.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Are you a puppy!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Well, I gotta buy a vowel... because, oh, my God!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Who would've thought that someday... Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer?", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "I don't think we need to because you're tripping me out right now!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "And I wasn't even that hungry.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Don't go! I've scared you! I've said too much! I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Welcome to our side of the tunnel.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "We save the real stuff for the truly terminal cases.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "You're not terminal. We just need some damage control.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Oh, honey, you're not a total loser.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Look, Ben! It's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Yes, they called! You didn't get it! Okay? I mean, you didn't get it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Now you're sad and creepy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "They said they'd never met an Italian actor with a worse Italian accent.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Are you being British?", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Barley? What kind of party serves barley?", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Either you're seeing somebody behind my back... which would make you the world's biggest jerk... or you're pretending to see somebody... which makes you so pathetic I could cry right here!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Can I be that guy?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "They said that you 'weren't believable as a human being.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "The off-Broadway-play people said that you were 'pretty but dumb.' Oh, no wait. I'm sorry. That's 'pretty dumb.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "My God, Chandler, we said be 'aloof,' not 'a doof.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Yes! And grumpy! What are you? Stop naming dwarfs!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "He's so lucky. If Janice were a guy... she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "You used to dress up like a woman.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "You made us call you 'Bea'?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "Oh, please, God, let there be a song.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "I am Bea, I drink tea, Won't you dance around with me?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel"}, {"t": "So, what happened? Did a forest tick you off?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "You're building a post office?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "My word, those are snug!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Sergio Valente", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Power saw kind of got away from me there", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "I think it sounds big sister-y, 'Frank's always late.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Mom's dead, don't talk to my sister... Grandma's been sleeping a lot lately", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "It's just the last-desperate-chance-to-have-a-family kind of thing", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Actually, Gunther sent me. You're not allowed to have cups out here", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "No. But he told me he thinks you're a fox", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "The heart of every healthy relationship: Honesty, respect and sex with celebrities", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "You do realize that she is a cartoon and way out of your league?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "I know. I always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "And also, of course, if her sister was famous", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Spider-Man? / Hardy Boy. / Peter Parker. / Thank you.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "First, I'd divide my prospective candidates into categories", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "What a geek!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Frank stares at Rachel in stunned silence", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Hey, how do you guys get anything done? / We don't, really.", "c": ["Frank Jr", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "I thought we could go down to Times Square and pick up some ninja stars", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "My friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "We really don't take advantage of living in the city", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Sorry. Did I get you? / No, you didn't get me! It's an electric drill! You get me, you kill me!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "I'm not a mind reader", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Where you heading in those pants? 1982?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "If you move your hamper... you can see the color the tile used to be", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "A little more than I wanted to see", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "We can put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Triple", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Because I can and my mom couldn't. And I figured that was something I got from our dad", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "We don't have that", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "That's close", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "That's the same month as Halloween", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Melt stuff", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Forgiving", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "She probably wouldn't let you do it unless you donated four cans of food first", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Because that's why you won't get Isabella Rossellini. Geography.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "So by 'melting' you meant melting", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Yeah, you can melt art", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "No, I want to melt it", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Just the numbers. It will still work. Well, not right now.", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "That's when the waistband goes over your head", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "How do you play the shadow game? / I just asked you. / I just asked you.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "You just gave up really quickly", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "It's my fault, really, because the couch is where we keep the varnish", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Build the unit, Cinderellie Lay the tile, Cinderellie", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "No, I need a bathroom. I'm a girl!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Joey, if this takes seven days... you'll be able to meet God and ask him about it yourself", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "It's one of my regulars. He's insisting that I do him", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Well, you know, we don't call it that. But, yeah.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "What are big sisters for?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there?", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Dorothy Hamill", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "You do realize she only spins like that on ice?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "She broke my arm! / He touched my fanny. / She touched mine first! / That's my job!", "c": ["Frank Jr", "Phoebe", "Frank Jr", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "No, okay. I know. You're a masseuse. It's cool. I'm not a cop!", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "How I like to melt stuff, and how I dislike stuff that doesn't melt", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "You hopped a little bit", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "When I tell my friends about her, she will be", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Until Frank melted it", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "I could've counted to three four times without all the two talk", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Maybe all the rulers are wrong", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Arm hair stuck! Arm hair stuck!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "You freak", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, missy, you better be glad that list is laminated", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "You know what, honey? You go ahead. We'll call her an alternate", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "So I bumped you for Winona Ryder. Local", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "You know, it's ironic because I have a list... of five goofy coffeehouse guys. And yesterday, I just bumped you for that guy over there", "c": ["Isabella Rossellini"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "I got 5 bucks says you can't", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Well, hello, Mr. Lincoln! Better luck next time, buddy! And the drinks are on me!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Frank, Jr."}, {"t": "Wow, it's like a dirty math problem.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Well, that's really a different question.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "bumped uglies", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "There was that one time Monica and Rachel got together.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "What? Excuse me, there was no time.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Anybody need more coffee? - Hey, there's a dog out there!", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Cute Naked Guy's starting to put on weight.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "You didn't leave lipstick marks on the phone. Oh! Then it must have been you. Bye.", "c": ["Janice", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "On some level, she already knows.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Okay, well, maybe not on those levels.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing. Bing! Great apartment, Chandler Bing. Bing!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "When I answered the phone, 'Chandler Bing'... he said, 'Whoa! Short message!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Foot on the floor or come over no more.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Your dresser is missing, but this she notices.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "She met this woman at the gym, Susan something. And they really hit it off, and I think it's gonna make a difference.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Yes, that is cool. Uh, because I have models here, you know... never.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Well, I still have one more person to meet. But unless it turns out to be your sister... ahem, I think your chances are pretty good.", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Bedroom, bathroom, living room. This here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by. Bye-bye.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Ha, ha. What gay thing? Uh, just, you know, in general. The whole people-being-gay thing. Totally cool with that.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Wanna hear something that sucks? - Do I ever!", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "That's what I want. A roommate I can walk around with... and be referred to as 'the funny one.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Get ready for me to whip your butt. Okay, but after that we're shooting some pool.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "How hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Isn't it exciting? I mean, it's like having a boyfriend for life! Heh!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "I really think I need to just have... some meaningless sex, you know? With the next guy I see.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Excuse me, I seem to have dropped my ball. Yeah, so? And now I've picked it up again.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "You can't even see where the Titanic hit it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Ten bucks says I never see that woman again in my life.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "What are they doing? - I don't know. Something girly.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "You don't play the oboe. - I could play the oboe.", "c": ["Chandler", "Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "I'm Eric, Chandler's new roommate. - I'm Chandler's new roommate. - I don't think so. - I could be Chandler's new roommate.", "c": ["Eric", "Joey", "Mr. Heckles"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "It's the heat. And the humidity. That's... a tough combination.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "So if the landlord ever asks... I'm an 87-year-old woman who's afraid of her VCR.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Okay... here's your penis!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Usually, yeah. Well, not just lemonade... iced tea, sometimes juice.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "By the way, I can still see it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "You could've just turned the cushion over. I would have, but I had a spaghetti stain on the other side.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "I need to live in a land where people can spill! - Well, you can spill. In the sink.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "No, you're not. You're wondering which cushion it is.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "No... You don't have a boyfriend because... I don't know why you don't have a boyfriend. You should have a boyfriend.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Listen, you are one of my favorite people... and the most beautiful woman I've ever known in real life.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Because Carol's a lesbian. And I'm not one. And apparently it's not a mix-and-match situation.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "And I'd think: 'God, my wife is cool.' Heh.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Well, now I do!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Is it 100 percent cotton?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I'd been more nurturing... or I'd paid more attention... or I had a uterus.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "Wait, wait, wait! My foot is stuck in the pocket.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "That's not something a girl wants to hear.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "My wife's a lesbian. Cool!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "You missed the exit. Oh! Sorry. My God, what were you thinking about? Ahem, um... Barry.", "c": ["Kiki", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Flashback"}, {"t": "RACHEL: I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint, I can pretend he's Alan Alda.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "MONICA: Oh, good. Another dinosaur story. When are those gonna become extinct?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "CHANDLER: If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible... that would be the best.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "GUNTHER: What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "[JOEY HUMMING IN HEAD] PHOEBE: Who's singing?", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Hey, when you guys were kids and you played Happy Days... who were you? I was always Richie. - I was always Joanie.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Question: Was, uh, 'Egg the Gellers' the war cry of your neighborhood?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Ew, ew! It's the Mattress King. Don't look. Change the channel.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. I'm so depressed... I'm going to slash... my prices!", "c": ["Mattress King"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "I'm going medieval on prices. What a wank.", "c": ["Mattress King", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "I know. At 499 for a pillow-top queen, who cares about the divorce? Those babies will sell themselves.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "And I'm appalled for you, by the way.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Oh, shoot. Tomorrow's not good. I'm supposed to, um, fall off the Empire State Building... and land on a bicycle with no seat, so...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Please. He refers to me as 'Wet-Head.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "All right. Well, not exactly like I do. But if you do come to dinner... I'll love you like I do in that black thing that you like.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "See, that's why I can never be an actor. Because I can't say 'gig.' Yeah, I can't say 'croissant.' Oh, my God.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "You know, you're probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students. I know.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Not at these prices.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "You know, in England this car would be on the other side of the store.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Oh. All right, take this bed. You can make other friends.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "This does not mean acting again. It means you don't have a line, but someone else just did.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "By the way, before I forget. To work in soap operas... some of you are gonna have to become much more attractive.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Hey, the bell doesn't dismiss you. I dismiss you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "This boxer named Nick. And I'm so, so right for it, you know? He's just like me... except that he's a boxer... and has an evil twin.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "All right. Monica Felula... Geller.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "I had to learn. I was staying at the Y... and some of the young men weren't acting Christian enough.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "And I'm a vegetarian.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Which bedroom do you want it in, Ms. Geller? Oh. It's the compulsively neat one by the window, okay?", "c": ["Delivery Man", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "What? There was no table available in the kitchen?", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Uh, museum. What happened to the library? There never was a library.", "c": ["Ross", "Dr. Green"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Yeah, if you're really hungry. Ha, ha. It was a joke. I made a joke.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "What kind of person's allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works in a library. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Gives it a nice antique-y look?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, I lost a bike to that. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "He only tipped, like, 4 percent. Yeah. Ahem, that's Daddy.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "But, you know, if he was a regular at the coffee house... I'd be serving him sneezers.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "The carbon. It's messy. I mean, gets on your fingers and causes... the, uh, night blindness.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "I tip way too much, way, way too much. It's a sickness, really.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Here. I'll tell you what. You pay the whole bill, Mr. Big-Shot. All right?", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Well, 'Mr. Big-Shot' is better than 'Wet-Head.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "I cut a hole in my pocket... take a pair of tweezers... and just start pulling.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Well, that would be your basic I've-got-a fish-hook-in-my-eyebrow-and-I-like-it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Well, all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Had to do it, didn't you? You couldn't leave it alone.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Four percent, okay? I tip more than that when there's a bug in my food.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm gonna go to a doctor who went to medical school in a mini-mall.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "I am so dead.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Except that I could pick your father up and say, 'Like me. Like me, tiny doctor.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Isn't it cool? Vroom. Vroom. [MIMICKING RACING CAR]", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "I know. You must have won, like, a contest or something.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "You know what? It's all Joey's fault because he left his nose open.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Quick. Take off your dress. He won't notice the bed.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Whoa. Somebody missed the off-ramp.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "So? This has always been Monica's bed. What, you're just noticing now? How self-involved are you?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Sometimes I have bad dreams.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "[SOBBING] Look... I just saw my best friend's brain smeared across the canvas. It's not gonna be me. Not me.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Well, I might have said 'super-gay.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Well, if you really, really want it, then it's okay.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Nice hair. What did you do, swim here?", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "That man couldn't get into med school in Ixtapa.", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "He's Bobby Bobby? Ahem. It's Robert Bobby.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "My right leg is two inches shorter. Come on, you're just tilting.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "So, what if somebody steals something? How you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "[BOTH LAUGHING]", "c": ["Ross", "Dr. Green"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Why don't you tell him about the mole I haven't gotten checked?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "Yeah. We both auditioned for the part and, uh... as it turned out... they... They liked the stupid gay thing and cast him.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "And me? Me, I'm stuck here teaching a bunch of people... [SOBBING] most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "All right, jester man, look, we wanna see the king.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "[MIMICKING RACE CAR] Hey, watch it, lady. [MIMICKING RACE CAR]", "c": ["Mattress King"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "My bed's so boring.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Race Car Bed"}, {"t": "See, that is the problem with invisible dentists. It's very unsettling to see all those metal tools just flying around.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Because every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "That is so weird. Every time I go to the dentist... I look down the hygienist's blouse.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "First, it was my Aunt Mary. And then there was John, my mailman. And then my cowboy friend, Albino Bob.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "That's why I take such good care of my teeth. It's not about oral hygiene. I floss to save lives.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Tell that to them. Oh, you can't! They're dead!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Like you don't already have everything.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "But if you're my next victim... don't come back as a poltergeist who sucks me into the TV set.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Although, don't feel like you can't visit.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "I was thinking about that. I think the best way would be... to not.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Wait until I go to the dentist. Maybe I'll kill him.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Ugly Naked Guy's using his new hammock. It's like a Play-Doh fat factory.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Or just look out!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "[Awkward pause as Phoebe starts emotional goodbye]", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "What did they do? They painted over the word 'sapien,' for one thing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Then they rearranged the figures. Let's just leave it at that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "I just asked Monica... because I know how empty her life is.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, 'homo' sapiens... is that why they're extinct?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm not judging.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "[Baby Ben hits his head - physical comedy moment]", "c": ["Ben", "Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Nothing, because we're not telling him. / We're not? / No. / All right, I like that.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Well, push it in! Push it in! / I cannot push it in!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "The second Ross walks in... take him to your bedroom, and do whatever it is you do... that makes him go... [gesture]", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "A hat! Yes! We need a hat! Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "I'll get Rainy Day Bear! / Because he'll know what to do? / Oh, my God. You're a genius!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "It's just like a bloodbath in here today!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Get her candy. Get her gum. Girls love gum. / That's a good idea. 'Dear Janice: Have a Hubba Bubba birthday.'", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "You know what you should do? You should get her one of those... barium enemas.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Those are dead serious. And you know she'll never get one for herself.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "You can't! You can't. You can't buy her pearls. You just can't. You can't, You can't, you can't!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "It makes more sense as an ensemble. Besides, it takes the focus off the hat.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Oh! You're alive! You're alive!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Monica bang! / Did he just say, 'Monica bang'? / Oh, my God! He's gonna rat me out!", "c": ["Ben", "Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Monica bang! Everybody bang! Ben bang! Rachel bang! Bang, Rachel! Bang!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Yeah. You know, if it's not a headboard, it's just not worth it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "How's my Bing-a-ling?", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Maybe it's because I was just fooling around with my ex. / Oh, no. That was you!", "c": ["Janice", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "In the park? / No. In his office. How many kisses were there?", "c": ["Janice", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "It's the receipt. / I'll take it.", "c": ["Chandler", "Janice"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "if you won't tell him about our little bonking incident. / Number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery. And number two, I... / What? / You said, 'number two.'", "c": ["Monica", "Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "What did you do, take him whaling?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "That's right. That's what I'd sound like if I exploded.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "The curse is broken! I called everybody I know... and everyone is alive!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "My God, I killed another one! The curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at isn't moving?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "You know how we save all those chopsticks... for no reason when we get Chinese food? Well, now we got a reason.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "It serves me right for buying that 12-pack of condoms.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "And now I can't even return them, because she choked on the receipt!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "No offense, but I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy-headed child.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I wrecked your baby!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "I hope it's still funny when you're in hell.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "The way I feel about you... it's like I finally understand... what Lionel Richie's been singing about.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "I'll settle for half your heart. I'll settle for a quarter. I'll settle for a little, tiny... A ventricle.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "You can't leave! I have your shoe!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Rachel has those in burgundy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Fortunately, I have experience in that area.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "What are you, 12 today?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "What we're about to have here is a dead, fat guy on a stick!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "He's alive! He's alive! / And yet we're still poking him.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Now he's showing us his poking device.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Giant Poking Device"}, {"t": "No, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Every year.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "And start drinking in the morning. Don't say I don't have goals!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Says who? Your mom? Ha-ha-ha. Yes.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "No, no, no. You say that proudly!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma-arm elbow in my face and just kept running.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "The touchdown didn't count because of the spectacularly illegal, and savage, nose-breaking.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "And was the curse lifted?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Wuss!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Wait. How we gonna get there? My mom won't let me cross the street.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "That almost hit me in the face!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "And then 'Tennilles.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Why don't we just bunny up? What? Bunny! Bunny!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "I'm your best friend. Sweetie, don't worry, you'll get picked.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "You don't pick me. You're stuck with me!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Wow, just like in the pros.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "So what do you guys really think of Chandler?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "I thought you knew what you were doing. I thought you meant in life!", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "No, no, actually, losers rhyme.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Great. Now the score's seven to almost seven.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Until we start to look very small.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Wow, you're, like, from a whole other country!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Her name is Dutch and also 'Margham.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "It just amazes me that you're still pulling stuff like this.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "I heard that. Well, I said it loud.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Thanks, man, but it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Math? You're giving me math?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Well, now you have two.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Hey, I am good at math!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "I've been preparing for that my entire life!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Broken boobs! Ow.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Dead leg!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "You know I had swollen glands!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two-by-four? Mm-hm. Okay, good.", "c": ["Chandler", "Others"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "When you went to the hospital for your nose, I swam into the lake and fished it out.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Tackled by a girl! Bet you don't see that every day.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Like the turkey, Ross is done!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Oh, what a great argument. Exhaling!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "The Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Enough 'geography for the insane.' Let's play ball.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Yeah, for dating, general merriment, taking back to your windmill?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Why don't you have Captain Hook explain it to her?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "You hear that? That is her truth, Mr. 'I'll Let You Have Her'!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "I win! You suck! I rule all! Mini-wave in celebration of me!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "I now find you shallow, and, um... a dork.", "c": ["Margha"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "From now on, I get the dates, and you stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Come on, you hairy-backed Marys!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You dated someone with a glass eye too?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "The important thing is the Dutch girl picked me! Me, not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Isn't there a 'national football league'? Yes, there is. They play on Sundays and Monday nights. Oh, shoot! I work Monday nights.", "c": ["Rachel", "Unknown", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "I don't know. I guess the other people just don't care enough.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Football"}, {"t": "Well, as old as he is in dog years...do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. Do you need me to train somebody new? / Ha-ha-ha. Good one. Actually, uh, Terry wants you to take the training again.", "c": ["Rachel", "Gunther"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Rachel scoffs and shows disbelief at having to retrain", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "On behalf of the Brown Birds of America, I salute you. [TWEETS]", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Just admit it. You have no backhand. / Excuse me, little one. I have a very solid backhand.", "c": ["unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl...is not a backhand. / I was shrieking...like a Marine.", "c": ["unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "All right, here, watch me execute the three P's of championship play. Power, huah...precision, shew...and panache. [SARAH SCREAMS]", "c": ["Ross", "Sarah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "You broke a little girl's leg?", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "It says here that a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around 10-ish?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "What do you think she'd like? / Maybe a Hello Kitty doll? / The ability to walk?", "c": ["Ross", "unknown", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Look out, kids. He's coming.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Have fun. Oh, wait. No, don't. I forgot. I am totally against that now.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "No, no. I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime...and their corpses grotesquely dressed...in, like, tinsel and twinkly lights.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Those trees were born to be Christmas trees. They're fulfilling their life purpose by making people happy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Yes, and, uh, the trees are happy too...because for most of them, it's their only chance to see New York.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Gunther, Gunther, please. I have worked here for two and a half years. I know the empty trays go over there. / What if you put them here?", "c": ["Rachel", "Gunther"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "You know what? You should have the other waitresses do that too. / They already do. / That's why they call it 'the tray spot.'", "c": ["Rachel", "Gunther"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "I always heard them talk about that. I just thought it was a club they went to.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Your dad tells me you get a couple of days off school...and you don't have to sell those cookies anymore.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Well, I kind of wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Space Camp...and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.", "c": ["Sarah"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "I think you'd have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India. / No, the one in Atlantic City. Dad loves the slots.", "c": ["Ross", "Sarah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "He says he's gonna double the college money my grandma left me.", "c": ["Sarah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "And what is second prize? / A 10-speed bike. / But I'd rather have something my dad couldn't sell.", "c": ["Ross", "Sarah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Since we don't have a TV, the lady across the alley...said she'd push hers up to her window so I can watch it.", "c": ["Sarah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "You're no Brown Bird. I can see you through my peephole.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Uh, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but I'm not invited to sleepovers.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "I can dial 911 at the press of a button, you know. Now, go away. / Please, please. It's for a poor little girl...who wants to go to Space Camp more than anything in the world. / I'm pressing.", "c": ["Woman", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Yikes. That one doesn't look very fulfilled.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "You keep the old ones in the back? That is so ageist.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Well, they go into the chipper. / Why do I have a feeling that's not as happy as it sounds?", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Phoebe's horrified reaction to the wood chipper sound and yelling", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "All right. I'll take a box of the cream-filled Jesuses.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "All right, do you have any, uh, coconut-flavored deities? / No, but there's coconut in the Hanukkah Menorah-eos.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "I'll put you down for eight boxes, one for each night.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "No, Mon, Dad had to buy every one of your boxes...because you ate them all.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I gotta go. / Come on. All the cool kids are eating them.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "And later I wanna show you why we don't just trap spiders...under coffee mugs and leave them there.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Well, I'm also sending out...good thoughts.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "How come you're still at a job you hate? Why don't you quit and get The Fear? / [BOTH LAUGH] Because I'm too afraid.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28 and still working here.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "I don't care. I don't care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf. I don't care where the tray spot is. I just don't care. This is not what I wanna do. So I don't think I should do it anymore.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Does this mean we're gonna have to start paying for coffee?", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "I spelled out 'boobies.' Ha, ha.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Monica, I'm cutting you off. / No. No. Just a couple more boxes. It's no big deal, all right? I'm cool.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "That's when it occurred to me. The key to my success: The munchies. So I started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "They call me...[IN DUMB VOICE] ...'Cookie Dude.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Well, you sure used a large font. / Uh, yeah. Well, 'Waitress at a Coffeehouse'...and 'Cheer Squad Co-captain' only took up so much room.", "c": ["unknown", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "You and your stupid Fear. I hate your Fear. I would like to take you and your Fear... / Hey. I got great news. / Run, Joey. Run for your life.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey", "unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Snow-in-a-Can. I got it at work. You want me to decorate the window? Give it kind of a Christmas looky?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "It's almost dead. But that's why you have to buy it, so that it can fulfill its Christmas destiny.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Is this the one that I threw out last year?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so emotional. I guess it's just... The holidays are just hard. / Oh, honey, is that because your mom died around Christmas? / Oh, I wasn't even thinking about that.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna tell you. You're the bad man who broke Sarah's leg. / Hey, now. That was an accident, okay? / You're a big scrud.", "c": ["unknown", "Ross", "unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "What's a scrud? / Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud? / I don't have to. I can just look at you.", "c": ["Ross", "unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Eight hundred and seventy-one. / That's crap.", "c": ["Leader", "unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Although it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself. / Ahem. That is because my doctor says that I have a very serious...nougat...deficiency.", "c": ["Leader", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Some little girl loaned her uniform to her 19-year-old sister...who went down to the USS Nimitz and sold over 2000 boxes.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Last night she was...teaching everybody how to make napkins into...[IN SQUEAKY VOICE] ...swans.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Well, seeing that drunk Santa wet himself really perked up my Christmas.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Looks like Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Oh! God bless us, every one.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Should I tell her I ordered tea? / No. / No. / No.", "c": ["unknown", "multiple"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Now, Mr. Kaplan Sr. Likes his coffee strong. So you're gonna use two bags instead of one, see? Now, pay attention because this part's tricky. See, some people use filters just once.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "[IN ECHOEY VOICE] Ten, ten, ten. Nine, nine, nine. Eight, eight, eight. Ow.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "[IN FALSETTO VOICE] I'm an alien. I'm an alien.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Rachel Quits"}, {"t": "Joey's overly confident magic trick presentation followed by the obvious reveal", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Real magic does exist.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "I looked at it so fast, it was invisible to the naked eye. I just did it. Just did it again.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Anybody got a length of rope about six feet long...little noose at the end?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "I almost feel bad for whipping that kid's pretzel at them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Any excuse to tell that story, you know?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Then if anybody should have a party, it should be him.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "I'm not suppose to drink coffee. It makes me gassy. I know.", "c": ["Mr. Kaplan", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "I need these hangers separated ASAP.", "c": ["Mr. Kaplan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Order up! Yentl soup, James Beans and a Howdy, hold the Doody.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Actually, that's a Barbra Streisand-wich. What? I named that one.", "c": ["Mark", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Do you want my pickle?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Stick out your tongue! Take off your shirt!", "c": ["Joey's sisters"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Yeah, Jell-O. Just like Mom used to make.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "No, only for sex. Thank you.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "I was wearing my 'I Heart Ross' sandwich board and ringing my bell.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "How many of that girl are you seeing?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "That's the same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey's sister"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Why must we dial so speedily, anyway? Why rush through life? Why can't we savor the precious moments?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Those are some huge breasts you have!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "I mean, when he left, I actually used the phrase: 'Hummina, hummina, hummina.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Well, I assume I'll have to take showers with him. But, you know, that's true of any job.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Well, my apartment isn't there anymore because I drank it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "I can't remember which sister.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "You see? You can't tell which is which either!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "That was me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "When I drink, sometimes I get overly friendly and I'm sorry.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Yep, I'm in a tree.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "What's it about? I don't remember.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Where in Cuba?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "She was, like, the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "They're in Vermont, buying cigarettes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "He had to help his niece with her report on the pioneers. That is so made up!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "High collar and baggy pants say, 'I'm a pro!'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Now he's gonna prep her...as in what you do before you surgically remove the boyfriend!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "You grow up.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "That dies with me. So will I.", "c": ["Grandma", "Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "God, Mary Angela was right. You do have the softest lips. You're not Mary Angela?", "c": ["Mary Therese", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "You're it! Now run and hide!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "I was really drunk and you guys all look really similar.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "I say punch him, Joey! Yeah, punch him!", "c": ["Joey's sisters"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Cookie, now you can punch him! What?", "c": ["Joey's sister", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "You know, this building's on my paper route, so...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Eavesdropping? Pheebs, the ceiling tiles were falling down.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Maybe the pogo stick likes it too.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "If it's any consolation...he really did sound like he was having more fun with you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Remember Whi"}, {"t": "Does everybody hate these shoes? - Yeah. But don't worry. Nobody's gonna focus on that if you wear that towel-dress.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "It's her first day at this new job. You're not supposed to start with her.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Botanists are such geeks. Is that a dinosaur tie?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "It must take you forever to find your keys.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Please want the one with the turtles. - No, turtles scare me. I don't need that today.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Is this a lunch box? - No, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.", "c": ["Unknown", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "A stripper at a bachelor party. That is so clich\u00e9. Why don't you guys get a magician?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Well, if a magician can open my beer with his butt cheeks, then all right.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Don't cry out loud.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Guess who has an audition for a Broadway musical? - I wanna say you, but it seems like such an easy answer.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "So I think I'm gonna sing 'New York, New York' and 'I Left My Heart in San Francisco.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities. - What? - Mr. Dickens gets to pick them.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Who? - I'll get you the Cliff Notes. - The what? - The abridgment. - The what?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler", "Joey", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Rachel Greene's line. How may I help you? - Hi, is Rachel there? - And who may I say is calling? - This is Ross. - Ross of...?", "c": ["Mark", "Ross", "Mark", "Ross", "Mark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! What did I just do? I think I just shipped 3000 bras to Personnel! - Honey, I gotta go! Mark, I need you!", "c": ["Rachel", "Mark"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "All right, I just got changed in 30 seconds so you could be alone with him. You better go for it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "You're a poet, and you don't know it. - Actually, I am a poet. - So you do know it.", "c": ["Monica", "Julio", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "I could write an epic poem about this lip. - How would that go?", "c": ["Julio", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Well, it didn't rhyme... but I liked it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "'Three years of modern dance with Twyla Tharp'? 'Five years with the American Ballet Theatre'?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody lies on their r\u00e9sum\u00e9, okay? I wasn't one of the Zoom kids either.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no, no. - What is that? - Sure, it looks stupid now. There's no music playing.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Let me ask you this. What do you do for the extra hundred? - So would I have to provide the grapes?", "c": ["Chandler", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "My vessel so lovely, with nothing inside? Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still? He thinks Monica's empty. She's the empty vase!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Monica's the vase, right? - You are such a mystery to me.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "It's a Love Bug. - Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.", "c": ["Rachel", "Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Congratulations on your first week At your brand-new job It won't be long Before you're the boss And you know who will be there To support you Your one and only boyfriend It's nice to have a boyfriend! Your loyal, loving boyfriend, Ross!", "c": ["Barbershop Quartet"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "You might as well have just come in and peed all around my desk!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "I would never do that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "How'd it go? - Knocked over a girl.", "c": ["Unknown", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Why don't you send her a musical bug? - No, you already did that.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "And pretty soon you'll be like: 'Hi.' And, 'Well, I can't go. Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man, get over it! It's been four years!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Wait, I've got something for you. - Mark. - It's okay. Rachel knows. - Yeah, but even so.", "c": ["Mark", "Unknown", "Rachel", "Mark"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "I can't help it. I'm just crazy about you. Come on, no one's around. Just kiss me.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "All right, that's it! Get off of her! - What is going on? - What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on!", "c": ["Ross", "Unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "What do I have to do to get some service?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "It's hand, hand... head, head... up, pas de bourr\u00e9e, pas de bourr\u00e9e, big turn here, rond de jambe. Slide, step, step... and jazz hands!", "c": ["Dance Captain"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "It's steppity-step and jazz hands.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "So I'm just an empty vase? - What? - So, I don't read as many important books as you do. And I don't write trick poems that aren't actually what they seem.", "c": ["Monica", "Julio"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "You have no right to make that kind of judgment! You don't even know me!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "The poem is not about you. - What? - 'The Empty Vase' is not about you. It's about all women. Well, all American women.", "c": ["Julio", "Monica", "Julio"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "What was that? - I know. It's the best I could get out of them.", "c": ["Unknown", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Yeah, look what I got! See, she's fully dressed, right? And then you click it, and she's naked! She's a business woman, walking down the street. She's window shopping, and she's naked!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "You know what? I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Okay, Ross, this pen's getting kind of boring. Can you pick me up some porn?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "You have a play-date with a stripper? - Man, I gotta get a kid!", "c": ["Chandler", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "I mean, doesn't she, you know, have any other stripper-mom friends of her own?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Either that or you just turned him on and sent him to a stripper.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Chandler, please don't. No, I beg of you to not...", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Mr. Pretentious, You think there's no one finer, Your poems are unpublished, And you work in a diner, You're no God's gift to women, That's all in your head, You are just a butt-munch, No one likes a butt-munch! And you're also bad in bed", "c": ["Barbershop Quartet"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The One With All The Jealousy"}, {"t": "Six? I just had it for one night. It's three. / Eight o'clock's the cutoff. And, oh, it's 8:02.", "c": ["Customer", "Video store clerk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "You know, in a weird way, you have too much power.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Your lip went bald.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "You got panties stuck to your leg.", "c": ["Richard", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Or maybe God knew I'd be running into you and saw an opportunity.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "He's going to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo and Clockwork Orgy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "I think it's too soon. / No, it's not too soon. I had lunch at 11.", "c": ["Monica", "Richard"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "No, thanks. I'm 29.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Every night that you're asleep before I get home... I will wake you up in a way that has proved popular in the past.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Well, if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "And what are you gonna do for him? / I'm gonna let him.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Around 8:02.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "There's no such thing as an 'innocent burger'.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "You might want to make extra, because you'll be hungry after the sex.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Naked friends.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "If there's none in there, we're probably out.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "I discovered I'm able to count all my teeth using just my tongue.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "I was reading it last night and I got scared, so...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "But you're safe from it if it's in the freezer? / Well, safer.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "I never start reading it... without making sure we got room in the freezer.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "How little are they? I mean, are they, like, scary little?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "That's okay, it's mine. We just kissed.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flame.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "He's coming out of his shorts.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "The man is showing brain.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Like an eclipse.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "You touch people's eyeballs and this feels weird?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "That's my hand.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "I'll just throw them out.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Jo's a girl. It's short for Josephine. / But Jo's got a crush on Laurie.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "That is the one thing missing from 'The Shining'.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "You mean a 3-pointer? / I get more because I'm dainty.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "I always carry one in my sock.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Calm down. No reason to get testy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "It's a word.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Like racquetball.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Just your dad.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "The greatest things in the world! If I were you, I'd wear them every day.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "They're so tight. I'd feel like I'm on display.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "All 'blank' and no 'blank' makes 'blank' a 'blank-blank'.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "I can't believe she cracked your code.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Mine was by accident!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Because I wanted to hurt you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "I lost one of my fake boobs in a grill fire.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "I love this 'friend' thing!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Yeah, I can spot you from here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Why does this keep happening? Is it something I'm putting out there?", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Hey, buddy? This is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "What if we're friends... who don't see other people?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Or maybe someday, friends who stood up in front of their other friends... and vowed to be friends forever.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "That's not true. You don't have a moustache.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Watch the thorns!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "You wanna put the book in the freezer?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Jus"}, {"t": "Yeah, a song with rhyming words! I never thought of that before.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Why? Because she can both sing and play guitar at the same time?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "That's all I'm looking for from these people.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "She's more... You know? And you're more...", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "See? Everybody else is happy she's done.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say? I Loved When We Were...Singing Partners and I Shouldn't Have Left You That Way.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "One of those 'look for the hidden meaning' songs.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I saw Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "If 'big-fish place' comes up again...I'd like to know if that's several big fish or just one big fish.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Actually, I said she abandoned me to write jingles.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Home is never far away, Home is Homestar Stew.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I couldn't come up with anything good, so they fired me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "No, but, thanks. [repeated identically]", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Let this be a lesson to all of you. Once you betray me, I become like the Ice Woman.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "You know, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "[Phoebe immediately asks for a tissue]", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I'm playing a daredevil game called 'Wait Until the Last Moment Before I Burst and Die.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Jeez, man! Did you fall...? Hi! So did you? Did you fall high?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Someone was in the ladies' room. I couldn't wait. I left the lid up for you, though.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "This is where you say your name.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Don't you have to use the bathroom? No, I just... I'd rather talk to you.", "c": ["Joey", "Ginger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Yes, I do. Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I can see you, okay? You're hiding behind the coats.", "c": ["Ginger"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Close one.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I can eat, but I have to come back here.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "What happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did you?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Now, you know those are a delicacy in India.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "It's like the 20th time today. Yeah, good luck, Leslie.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Our moms worked on the barge together.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "You two must've been so cute, running around on a barge.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "You never run on a barge!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Sure it wasn't something that sounded liked Ginger? Like 'Gingeer'?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "The movie star", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I can't tell you. It's the most awful thing I've ever done.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "You're really not making us want to hear it less.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Don't tell us. We'll wait till Chandler gets home. It'll be more fun that way.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! You threw Pepper on the fire!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I wish.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Another thing I probably should've told you about Ginger...is that she kind of has a...artificial leg.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! You threw it on the fire?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I ran! Through the woods, with no socks on.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "That's the best kiss I've had...with anybody I met in a men's room.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "You're not? Have you got a bionic foot?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Someday. Maybe.", "c": ["Ginger"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "If I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "You thought 'See you Saturday' was funny.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "...monger.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "You know, they say 'A watched pot never beeps.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "My favorite shoes song - sticky shoes reveal", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "You're so pretty.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "It'd be perfect for, like, a kitty-litter campaign.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "If I was in this for the money, I'd be a millionaire by now.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "You gotta get out of that jingle-head.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I once had a thing of half-and-half. Stole my car.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Sounds like she's got the...whole package.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "So she's got it all, huh? She's the real deal?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I'm the smallest person in the world, aren't I?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Actually, he's the smallest person in the world.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Listen, I know it's a long shot, but...by any chance, did she find that funny?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Forty-five minutes, the man talked about strappy-backed dresses.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Remember that thing that died a gazillion years ago? Well, here's a little bone we didn't know it had!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I wonder how many people would go see a movie called Jurassic Parka.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "A bunch of out-of-control jackets take over an island!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "What's a nubbin?", "c": ["Ginger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "You have three nipples?", "c": ["Ginger"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Well, it's nubbin. Nothing!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "I told you I didn't want you to try and sell it...and you just big, fat did it anyway!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "If the most important thing on the planet to you...is this cat-poopy thing, then you can have Smelly Cat.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Jingle bitch screwed me over. Go to hell, jingle whore. Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell. That's all I have so far.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Just had me a little nubbin-ectomy. Two nipples, no waiting.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Well! Just like Rachel in high school.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke. That was an obvious joke. And I didn't think of it. Why? The source of all my powers.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God, what have I done?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Phoebes Ex Partner"}, {"t": "Hey, how much you give me to eat this whole jar of olives? / I won't give you anything, but you'll owe me 2.95.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Done.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the U.N.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Oh, it's my new thing. I figure, bodies at peace make peace.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Wow. You might just get the first Nobel Prize in rubbing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] / There's a G in there.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Where's that? / In your atlas. / I don't have an atlas. / Oh. / Oh, but wait, I do have a globe. Hold on.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "What is this? / It's a globe. / And a pencil sharpener.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Okay, listen, just give me anything I can make two of.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "If you don't have anything to copy, why are you going there? / Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the bellybutton ring again?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Chloe, switch with me. There are some guys here who got a crush on you. / Okay, that hurt us.", "c": ["Copy girl", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Hi, guys. I haven't seen you since this morning. / Well, uh... / You know.", "c": ["Chloe", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night? / Both of us? / Maybe. Does that scare you?", "c": ["Chloe", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Aw. Me too. Although this city is my home. So that's dumb, what I said. Don't tell him I said that.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Okay. You know what? You don't have to do that now. / No, no, not him. No, you don't.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Wow, it's small. / Yeah, but Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "What's that on the bottom? / Oh. That's my doodle of a ladybug with a top hat. Ha, ha. / She's fancy.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "'Kind of cute' like, 'really kind of cute'? Or 'kind of cute' like your friend Spackle-Back Larry? / Hey, don't call him that. His name is Spackle-Back Harry.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Ha, ha. Dude, I don't know. Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Never open your eyes. You know? Because you don't want to be doing something and then look up, right? And see something that you don't want to be seeing.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "What if my eyes are closed, and my hand is out there... / Aah! Okay, eyes open at all times.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Well, if you don't know that, then I don't want to do this with you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "My God. What are you doing here? / Well, you said you couldn't go out, so... / You brought a picnic. Ugh. What a boyfriend. That's it. On Monday, I start wearing makeup.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross", "Sophie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Heh. Pepper? / None for me. / Okay, sorry. Whoo.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to call you back. I've got Shemp in my office.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "You do not bring a picnic basket to somebody's work unless maybe they were a park ranger.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "The X-5000 makes an X-50 look like a T-71.", "c": ["Chloe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "And now any time anybody wants 400, we just say, 'Let's Ross it.'", "c": ["Chloe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight. / Oh, my God. / No wonder I get such great service at Caf\u00e9 Maurice.", "c": ["Monica", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "So you're a chef? / I'm also thinking of opening up my own restaurant. / Oh, really? / Monica... could I talk to you behind my menu, please?", "c": ["Mischa", "Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "Why? What happened to him? / Nothing. He just really believes in that.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "I told him he treats me like a park ranger, something, ugh...", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "I just hope you don't accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "You silly diplomat. Why don't you learn some English, Sergei?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "My guy has coupons. / Your guy can't even say 'coupons.'", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "See, we don't need them. / Plate? / Yeah.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Sergei"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "You're not home.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "American. You know, it's a very hard language.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Bre"}, {"t": "What do you want to drink? Who's that? Nobody. Is that Mark?", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Hey, come dance. What, are you married? Because that's okay.", "c": ["Unknown party guest"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Nice. No, we kind of broke up instead.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "My God, Monica! It's on the ceiling! That's okay. This is more important than fruit on my ceiling.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "You sure you need shoes?", "c": ["Ross", "Chloe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "You must be so happy! Yes, I am. One of the many things I'm feeling.", "c": ["Chloe", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "I have the spirit of an old Indian woman living in mine.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "So then you know.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest? They have the best stuff in there.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "How dumb are you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "And that's what deathbeds are for.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "You always have to think about the trail!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "And Phoebe's friends with Rachel, and that's the trail! I did it!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, they should call it 'Pain-zine, now with a little wax.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "That's because their nerves are deadened from being so stupid.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Now aren't you glad we didn't start with the bikini strips?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "You took my watch? I'm sorry. I do that.", "c": ["Ross", "Chloe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "You dog!", "c": ["Isaac"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Monogamy is too cruel a rule.", "c": ["Isaac"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Actually, no, we're not. Yeah, we are. No, we're not. Yeah, we are. No, we're not. Okay, we're not. Right. But we are.", "c": ["Ross", "Isaac"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "I can promise not to tell her again.", "c": ["Isaac"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "You did a bad thing! Yes, I did. Very bad! Very bad. Very, very bad! I'm agreeing with you.", "c": ["Jasmine", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Was I not supposed to?", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "We were just waxing our legs. Off?", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "I think women just have a lower threshold for pain than men, that's all. I mean, come on, it's just a little wax.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Okay, Tin Man.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "A mistake? What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Where did he put it?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "I knew something had to be wrong because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "He has sex and we get hit in our heads!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Okay. All right. How was she? What? Was she good? Don't answer that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "She was different. Good different? Nobody likes change.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Should we do something? Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "You sure had a hell of a time at the wake.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "I think I'm falling in love with you all over again.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Wax the door shut. We're never leaving.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "We could eat the wax! It's organic! Oh, great. Food with hair on it.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "No, not the used wax. Because that would be crazy?", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "No anchovies. With extra anchovies. That's okay. I'll pick them off. And could you please chop some up and just put it right in the sauce?", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "You can have the last piece if you want. Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "What if they don't? You think I need a new walk?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "I think I need a take-notice walk. Are you actually saying these words?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "I don't cheat, right? That's not me. I'm not Joey! Yeah, okay.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am? Yeah, you know, people can be so self-involved.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Is that your new walk? No. I really have to pee.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Morning After"}, {"t": "Can I see the comics? / This is the New York Times. / Okay, may I see the comics?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "How hard is it to say 'something'? Rachel came over to borrow 'something.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "This is like 60 Minutes when at first you're mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug. And then, you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "I had the same dream. / And nobody slept with the Xerox girl. / Oh, I had the opposite dream.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "It never takes you more than a shower to get over a relationship.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Let's go. Let's hit the road. Let's get the show on it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Closer than here? / Oh, look. I found coffee.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Rachel, I'm really sorry. / Okay, Ross. Wanna get back together? / Yeah, okay. / Did anyone else hear that?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "I said that out loud, right?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Are we talking models in their underwear? / And heels.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today I'm smoking, still.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "This is just like my parents' divorce which is when I first started smoking. / Weren't you 9? / Yeah.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "I'm telling you something, that first smoke after naptime...", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "No, 'Hymn' 253: 'His Eyes Are on the Sparrow.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "When my parents got divorced, I started using humor as a defense mechanism.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Shut up. You're not my real mom.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Could you close that window? My nipples could cut glass.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Really? Because mine get me out of tickets.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Somebody else hug him. I have to stay by the window.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT] Two days of darts. It'll be great.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "It'll be great for next weekend. / [IN SCOTTISH ACCENT] I mean, 'It'll be great.'", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "The last time I went, I was afraid to leave the chair lift. I just went round and round.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Pity food?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "What? Mine aren't tinted.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "'Beam me up, Jesus.' / The 'No Smoking' sign.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Rachel never pees in public restrooms. They never have any paper in there. So my rule is, 'No tissue, no tushy.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Damn. The tailpipe's not hot enough to light this.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "No, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "So if your parents hadn't divorced, you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Come on. Who has the biggest boobs? Whoever has the biggest boobs, has the biggest bra and wire.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Monica's are the biggest. / These tiny little non-breasts? Please. It's gotta be Rachel.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "No, mine are deceptively small. I mean, I actually sometimes stuff my bra. / Well, then your bra would still be big. / No, I stuff outside the bra.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Ladies, let's just compromise, okay? Phoebe, Rachel, take off Monica's bra.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Now, let's decide who has the nicest ass.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Chandler cuts the cigarette short just as he's about to enjoy it", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "But now it's Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "A different kind of anniversary. / Oh.", "c": ["Ross", "Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Yeah, anniversaries are great because love lasts forever, you know? There's nothing like it in this life. Money in the bank. So Rachel and I broke up.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Can you just send someone up and down 76 and check every rest stop? And also 93? / No, they don't do that.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "We will just have to live here. / But it's so cold. / No. I won't get in a car with him.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Smokey Joe here got halfway to the highway and collapsed. I have the lung capacity of a 2-year-old.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Then why are you smoking? / It's very unsettling.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "I ate a bug. / Hey, Rach. The tampons here are only a penny. Let's stock up.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Oh. Now you want a favor?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "We both know you'll do it because you're not a jerk. So you can sulk here for half an hour, then go get them, or save time and sulk in the car.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "What? You slept with someone else? / We were on a break. / We were... Yeah.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "That's 'help' spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air. / What's 'dufus' spelled backwards?", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Now it's not gonna make any sense.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Oh, please? Can't I come to your special, magical cabin?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Oh. Hitting me where it hurts. My ski skills.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "I can handle it. 'Handle' is my middle name. Actually, it's the middle part of my first name.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Were you speaking to me, or sleeping with someone else?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Why don't you just put that on your answering machine?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Hey, guess who I am? [mimicking arguing]", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Look what you're doing to Chandler.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Wait a second. I mean, what are we doing? Who's going with who?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Or the rodeo. / That would be great. / I was being Shelley Winters from The Poseidon Adventure.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "You don't want to skimp there. / You're a genius. It came to about $112. But what the hell, call it an even 110?", "c": ["Ross", "Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "So I'm gonna take off then. [long pause before leaving]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The One Without The Ski Trip"}, {"t": "Oh, nothing. It's an acting exercise. I'm practicing my fake laugh.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Oh, dark mother, once again I suckle at your smoky teat.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Why don't you hold on to that one.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "That's, like, the least fun game ever.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "You always pull your pants down and play 'Wipe Out' on your butt.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "The way to quit smoking is to dance naked in a field of heather...and then bathe in the sweat of six healthy young men.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Or what my father calls 'Thursday night.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "And, uh, then I tried to find a pay phone, and the receiver was cut off.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "What happened? Uh, oh. Vandalism.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "It'll be illegal for him to drink...at his own bachelor party.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Yeah, or to get a hooker. Always illegal, Joe.", "c": ["Joey", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm a big surprise.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "If that doesn't keep kids in school, what will?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "And besides, I never had a dad around. And now I always will, because it'll be me.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Good. Because you were acting like you didn't.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Shouldn't be a problem. I work in fashion, and all I meet are eligible straight men.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "You wanna go out with me...because of my wig, the big boobs, and I serve you food.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "If that were true, I'd be dating my Aunt Ruth.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "And the two times we went out, it was plain awkward.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "That ain't a pretty picture in the morning, know what I mean? That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the nightstand.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "No, I'm fine with the age thing...until it sticks its tongue down my brother's throat.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "You know what? It's not good home economics.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Yes. Not out loud.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Yeah, but if I do tell him, then he's gonna hate myself.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Well, that was a nice move, dumb-ass.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "I forgot the combination to this about a year ago. I just carry it around.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "I feel great and confident. That is a stunning blouse.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "As a joke, this customer who has a crush on me, gave me a $20,000 tip.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "That's Bill Clinton. Who's he hugging?", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "When you're 36, she's gonna be 88.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "You're young. You're weird. Chicks dig that.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Yeah, in a poem, maybe.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "I couldn't help it. Their love is so pure.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "It's a real 'mustard-tastrophe.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "You double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "You were the chef, and I was the customer. But now we're this couple that fights.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Okay, um...you're a loon.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "If you don't have a good time, I'll give you 10 grand, we're even.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Well, um, your laundry smelled so good that I thought I'd curl up in it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "I don't see how I could suddenly be too young...because I'm older than I was when we first got together.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Well, yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "...and then getting arrested for stealing those birds...and then the whole punctured-lung thing.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "...but the worst thing she did was tie me to the porch.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "I would storm out of here...if I had some money or a place to go.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Hello. Hey, how much cash you got in your pocket right now?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Come on, it's only fair. You paid for the flight.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "That's about 60 cents.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Joey's your best friend. You wanna make him a cheese sandwich every day.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "And you also wanna buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Hypnosis Tape"}, {"t": "Say, Rachel... I was wondering if you'd like to go to a movie with me sometime... as my lover.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Mm. Too out there. Maybe you'd just like to get something to eat with me sometime... as my lover.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "[CRASH IN KITCHEN]", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "I dropped a cup.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "It's not gonna be able to do any of those things... but it'll understand what you're saying.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "We were out of Doritos.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Mr. Millionaire. New, from Snooty Playthings. Third wife sold separately.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Life-sized Imperial Storm Troopers from Sharper Image? Two.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Wow. Can Joey and I put them on and fight?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Oh, Mommy. Oh, Daddy. I am a big old baddy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Either that or Gloria Estefan was right. Eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Are you one of the retarded cousins?", "c": ["Kate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "She's so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the middle class... Oh, forget about it. She rocks.", "c": ["Kate", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Dr. Drake Ramoray? Days of our Lives? Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "So you're a soap actor. Well, this must be exciting for you, being in a real play.", "c": ["Kate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "That infomercial. For the milk-carton-spout thing. You're the guy who doesn't know how to pour milk.", "c": ["Kate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "See, I actually can pour milk. But I got you believing that I couldn't. Now, see, that's acting.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Right. At the end, you choked on a cookie. Yeah, that was real.", "c": ["Kate", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Okay, so it's probably just the Ross thing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realizes that life without me sucks.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "It's possible. You are very lovable. I'd miss you if I broke up with you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "[IN DEEP VOICE] If I broke up with you, I'd miss you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop. It's still a gift. I got it from the gift shop.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "You are a petty man. You are a petty, petty... Petty... petty, petty... small... small...", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "You haven't worn that since you were 15. It doesn't even fit you anymore. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "What, like, 'Pete Dakota'? Or 'Mississi-Pete.' Ooh, ooh, I got it: 'Pete Chicago.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "That's not a state, Joe. Oh, and 'Mississi-Pete' is?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Okay. You're our age. Okay.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm running out of places I can touch him.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Yeah, kind of.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Tasty.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, how about this one? Uh, it says so in the script.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "It doesn't say that in the script. It does in mine.", "c": ["Kate", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Does it bug you? You bug me.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Is there any chance you didn't see that?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "You can't just stare through the peephole for three hours. You're gonna get peep-eye.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "I mean, bullets have left guns slower.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "That way, if one of them is missing, she can be like, 'Where's number 27?'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Look, you wanna get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really. No, no. I say we get back at him right here on this couch. Right here.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "I can just go home and get back at him by myself.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Well, with all these doctors and nurses... I'm gonna say, Midget Rodeo.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Yeah. I know I'm no Jon Bon Jovi.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Yeah, stupidly charming, isn't it?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "I don't think this town is big enough for the both of us to relax in.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "I wasn't doing anything.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Ah, Sliced Bread. A wonderful Lady Macbeth.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "God, I just... I hate her with her 'Oh, I'm so talented' and 'Oh, I'm so pretty,' and 'Oh, I smell so good.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "I think somebody has a crush on somebody. Hey, Chandler, can we please try and stay focused on my problem here? You know? I'm talking about you, you big, big freak.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "If you were in school yard... you'd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now. Oh, yeah? Then how come I keep thinking about her... in all these sexual scenarios and stuff, huh?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "You guys make me fly. High.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Why isn't it 'Spiderman'? You know, like Goldman, Silverman? Because it's not his last name. It isn't? No, it's not, like... Like Phil Spiderman.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "But there's no gold man. Oh, okay. There should be a Gold Man.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Although I did sit down where there wasn't a chair.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "What about things that are already gold? Ah. His work is done.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "All right, you yellow-bellied, lily-livered... Draw. Yeah, it's fun.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The One With The Tiny T Shirt"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Is this what it's like to be you?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Yes! Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "We were all pretty shaken up about it. Am I missing something? I always thought death was supposed to be sad, in a way.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Well, Aunt Sylvia was...not a nice person. She was a cruel, cranky old bitch.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "A house for dolls! That is so cool.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, I had a barrel.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "You had a barrel for a dollhouse? No, just a barrel.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "More of a bathtub-type situation.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, look who's losing weight now, Aunt Sylvia.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Yes, I realize that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Thanks. It's Gaelic for, 'Thy turkey's done.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "So, what's wrong with him?", "c": ["Joanna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Nothing. He's just goofy like that. I actually hardly notice it anymore.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "I am here.", "c": ["Sophie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Not one that can pee on the roof.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Maybe it's so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Well, nobody wants a ghost. But you've got one...because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Obviously you don't know much about the U.S. Government.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry. I meant Chandler. I know.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Dug my action, did she? Checking out the Chan Chan Man!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "That was...surreal.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Come, dinosaur. We're not welcome in the house of no imagination.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "The little ones do.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "But then they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft. They gave me the shaft, all right.", "c": ["Lauren", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "If you wanna make the boys' bathroom realistic...you're gonna have to put some teeny, tiny porno magazines behind the toilet.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "It's a slide instead of stairs. Look.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "The licorice room. You can eat all the furniture.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "When guests come over, they can stay on the Tootsie Roll-away bed.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Does anyone want to join me in the Aroma Room?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Hey, my father's house does that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Of course, I didn't enjoy any of that because Joanna's such a big, dull dud!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "He came by to pick me up, I opened the door and it was just like, 'click!'", "c": ["Joanna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "...this magical thing that in the theater we call...committing to the moment!", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Which is more than I can say for that sweater you're dating.", "c": ["Kate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! I'll see you in the morning.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Yeah, with the mug-painting. I was so listening to that.", "c": ["Lauren", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Maybe he could slip her the tongue.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Something like that? Yeah. That's pretty much what I had in mind.", "c": ["Kate", "Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "And then I knew she was dreaming because her eyes kept going like this:", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "I wonder why she thinks you're going to call her?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "To her face?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Well, they always called. Bite me.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Sophie, will you please climb out of my butt.", "c": ["Joanna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "'Why hasn't he called, Rachel? Why, why? I don't understand! He said he'd call. Why?' I'm telling you, she's flipped out! She's gone crazy!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "She's really dull, and she gets this...gross mascara-goop thing in the corner of her eye!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "That's just a lot of big talk. I know.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Hi, Kate. Hi, Lauren. Hi, Lauren. Hi, pig!", "c": ["Kate", "Lauren", "Joey", "Lauren"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "By the way...I was just checking the shower massager.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "The foster puppets!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Great. I'm looking forward to it.", "c": ["Joanna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "...mascara goop.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "This is great. I'll give you a call. We should do it again!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Dollhouse"}, {"t": "Some idiot customer put a suggestion in the suggestion box.", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Rachel crashes on roller skates while carrying cocoa", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "You know, with that goatee, you kind of look like Satan.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "So that's why the priest threw holy water on me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I was crying because nobody believed Quincy's theory.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Who's gonna watch that?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I saw a girl with that vest.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "You're sturdier than Chandler. He crumbled like a piece of paper.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Whichever's closest.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I bought a restaurant and I'd like you to be the chef.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "What a jerk. You want me to kick his ass?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "But, Mon, that was totally different. He was your health teacher.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Got a job on a riverboat?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "What were you gonna tell us? Was it how you invented the cotton gin?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "So I guess that's about two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "You guys? Do you know anything about chicks? Fowl? No. Women? No.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Easy, Lenny.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I got tired of waiting. That's great. I'm sorry, but I'm so happy for you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I'm okay! I'm all right!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "That's exciting. You went to Japan, made up a woman.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "No, I'm fairly intuitive. And psychic. It's a substantial gift.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot. No, I'm serious. I'm intuitive, but my memory sucks.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I can't tell. Whatever it was went back in too quickly.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Well, I don't think so, mister!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I don't know, maybe we weren't ready to have a chick.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Really?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "That aspirin dance really works.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Rachel. It's nice to meet you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Since when do you think I don't wear enough of this?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Sophisticated like a hooker?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Does it have to do with Chandler and that sock he keeps by his bed?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "No, but let's come back to that later.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Sure. I'll just sit next to the transsexual from purchasing.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your bellybutton.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "All I have to do is close my eyes. See?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Now there are 100 of you, and I'm the king!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm talking to Lassie.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "That's Yasmine Bleeth. She's a completely different kind of chick.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I love you both. But in very different ways.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "If they can't find a home for her, they kill her! I won't let that happen to little Jasmine.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Funny story!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Shut up for a second and let me just see something.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Rach, you can't look fat in an x-ray.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "That's a bad duck!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "I was kind of supposed to be on TV tonight for the Discovery Channel.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Chicks don't swim.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "Well, give him a minute.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Chick And The Duck"}, {"t": "That's the word l use when l can't remember the real thing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "lt's Chandler and us versus Monica and them.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Whose Number Two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Bottle next to the shaving cream. -Worm medicine for the duck.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Monica, l'm scared! -Honey, that's a sleeve.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Can you take a duck and a chick to the theater? -Of course not. -l just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "First ones here!", "c": ["Tommy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Oh, Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy. -Oh, l'm sorry. This is Cailin. Cailin-- -Sorry. -And break!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross", "Tommy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Well, this is... -...awkward. -Well, because Rachel and l used to go out. -Oh, l didn't know that. -Well, then this is awkward.", "c": ["Ross", "Tommy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "You thought? Well, that didn't really work out for you. ldiot! What are you, a moron? lt says, 'D-1 3'! Okay? You're surrounded by even numbers! Does that give you a clue?", "c": ["Tommy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Almost as good as the play with the two naked girls on the seesaw. -l wasn't in that. -l know.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "l ran into you in the hallway in your building. lt was right after l slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.", "c": ["Lauren"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "The short version is, l pursued her for a couple of months. Then l gave her a check for $20,000 and she was mine.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "ln the long version, l dump him for telling people the short version.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "With her face and her chest, l could really put something together. -Could l borrow it?", "c": ["Estelle", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Tommy's in line for the bathroom and someone just cut. l think he's gonna snap.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "l don't know. Could be because l don't feel like waiting all night for a guy who may or may not scream. -He definitely will scream.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Yes!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Thank you, boys and girls. You've ruined my life. Please stuff your talentless faces with my mother's crab cakes!", "c": ["Marshall"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Does anyone mind if l save this?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "l've kept myself busy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Become a drama critic.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "A plague on both your houses!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "l gave up a job too. -Really? What? -Declawing cats.", "c": ["Kate", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "You're sweet and cute. -l know. That's why they trashed me.", "c": ["Joey", "Kate"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "You never went out with an actress before?", "c": ["Kate"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Why can't l just pick someone like you? -Thanks. -You know what l mean. l mean, like, the sweetest guy.", "c": ["Kate", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "No, no, l'm fine. And you know why? Because of all the riboflavin.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Yeah, last time l was at Pete's we just watched a movie of us that we'd made earlier.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "l'm so, so sorry. l am definitely gonna see your play. l swear, your play is very important to us. Thank you for your patience. Your play is the next play l'm gonna see.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "You had 'the night'! When two people realize their feelings for each other and they talk for hours and learn all about the other person. -Did you learn about her family? -Two brothers. One died! -Yes!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Sorry. She thought you were somebody else.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "7:1 5. -Watch doesn't work.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Yeah, and at the end of the play he got up, and he just started, like, banging his hands together.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "What is in the cup? -Okay, it's coffee. -lced coffee? Tell me it's iced coffee. -lt's hot-- -Hot coffee! You idiot! You gonna spill hot coffee all over me, huh? What are you? Just a big, stupid doofy idiot with a doofy idiot hairdo?", "c": ["Tommy", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Sorry! Sorry l'm late! My duck and my chick had a fight. lt was ugly.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Gross! ldiot! Stupid, little, fuzzy, yellow creature! Oh, look at me! l'm so cute! l'm a little chick who's disgusting! You're so stupid! How are you not yet extinct? What are you quacking about? Dumb Donald Dodo!", "c": ["Tommy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "l'm gonna get on this spaceship and l'm gonna go to Blaargon-7 in search of alternative fuels. But when l return 200 years from now you'll be long gone but l won't have aged at all.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Phoebe, 800 is toll free. 801 is Utah.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Well, l think l broke it. But that's all right. Here's the number where you can call.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Screamer"}, {"t": "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Or Dick.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Was it like a sneeze, only better?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Whoa! Whoa! No. / Come on, you guys. It's no big deal. / Hey, hey, hey.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "No, it's... fancier than a pimple.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Okay, well, it's definite. Two more weeks of winter.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Well, you know, if Joey and I play with matches... we could get you up to an even 100.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Fire safety is not a joke, son.", "c": ["Vince"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "You know, this kind of, like, you know, oat-sowing, field-playing juggler.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Does a dog's lips move when he reads?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Because when I went in there with my third nipple... he just lopped it right off, you know?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "I mean, not as lucky as people who are born with two nipples.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Oh. Maybe they'll name yours after you. You know? They'd call it The Ross.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "And then people would be, like, 'Oh, he's got a Ross.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Yeah, that'd be cool.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Yeah. Maybe he just cheated on you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "We don't need a fireman. We need, like, a good mechanic.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one, okay?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "First of all, it's on your ass.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Or, ha, ha... we could go over there and pee on them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Well, it doesn't feel like playing anymore. It's feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no. I meant Chandler.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, I've been practicing medicine for 23 years... and I'm stumped.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Whoa. For a rich guy, that's a pretty small TV.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "The refrigerator told me to have a great day.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Yeah, I see him. You guys are just the worst hiders ever.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "We love you too.", "c": ["All"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "And that's Pete's mom. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "I mean, it'll be dry, but people will like it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Oh, what do you know? You married a lesbian.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "...just, like, a really, really, really nice body.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Sorry. I was just imagining what it'd be like to catch the money bouquet.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go write in my journal.", "c": ["Vince"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Thank you, but I wanna remove it, Pheebs. I don't wanna make it savory.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Well, for clubbing.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "He'd prefer watercolors, but, you know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "So... It's really just about the math.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "I don't know. What's a kundus with you?", "c": ["Guru Saj"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "We appear to have angered it.", "c": ["Guru Saj"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Got caught in my watch.", "c": ["Guru Saj"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Monica? I wanna become... the Ultimate Fighting Champion.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "I want you close enough to smell the blood.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "My parents will be so happy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "I don't know. He just started kissing me. Get him, Vince.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "And it's been really horrible, because, you know, it's been... a lot of fun for me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "You know, I can't believe I went out with somebody... who'd actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooded area.", "c": ["Vince"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Hello. I am Guru Saj.", "c": ["Guru Saj"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?", "c": ["Guru Saj"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Thing"}, {"t": "Do you think there's a town in Missouri or someplace called Sample? And as you're driving into the town, there's a sign and it says: 'You're in Sample.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "It's a little crowded. Do you mind? Could you skooch? Move over just a little bit. Keep on skooching.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "It's a feeling you get. Like when you're in somebody else's bowling shoes? That's the one.", "c": ["Tim", "Doug"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "It's oozing!", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "I've been sleeping with your wife. You're the gynecologist?", "c": ["Doug", "Tim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "So what were you gonna tell us? I have no idea.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Oh, keep your name. Don't take his name! Then definitely don't take his name!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "You can bite and pull people's hair and stuff? Anything goes except eye-gouging and fish-hooking.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Thanks. That would have been hard to describe.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "My hands are totally clean. I just gave the duck a bath.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "There is no I in 'team.' Yes, but there's two in 'martini.' So, everybody, back to my office.", "c": ["Doug", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "This team's about hard work, but it's also about having fun. Good to have you aboard, Bing!", "c": ["Doug", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "My boss keeps slapping my butt and acting like it's no big deal. I didn't do anything. I didn't want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by, you know, grabbing her boob.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "For a really great stew, you'd just stick your head in between them.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Anything but stew.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "What could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "What if Joey was President?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Average height, medium build, bald... Oh!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "A housepainter! He used to be a housepainter!", "c": ["Hoshi"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "No boom-boom before big fight! How about just a boom?", "c": ["Hoshi", "Pete"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "I just bought a pretzel from one of the kids from Fame.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "I just started wearing bras again.", "c": ["Bonnie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "That girl has got hair all over her head!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Not on purpose. He ricocheted off you and got me.", "c": ["Coworker"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks! You go to Dartmouth? No, sir. There you go! Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Doug", "Coworker"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "I saved 30 cents. Plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant, 'You suck!'", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "There was MOSS 2 that would only schedule appointments in January.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Apparently, he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home. Tappan Zee Bridge never looked smaller.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Is it the swearing? Is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell you, if it is, you can just kiss my ass!", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "I have a rather sensitive posterior.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant or inside his shower drain?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "She's very sexually aggressive.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "You owe me one bald girl!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "We killed them all!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "The day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Not that I could beat Superman, but kids are stupid.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Could you leave a note? I'm on painkillers and I might not remember this tomorrow.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Of course you did. Forgot something else too, you bastard!", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Check it out! Pete's winning! Really? No!", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "If that's his favorite area, why is he being so mean to it?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "This is ironic. Your last boyfriend, Richard, didn't want to have kids. And from the looks of it, now Pete can't.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champ"}, {"t": "Tell it again.", "c": ["Unknown male character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Seriously.", "c": ["Unknown male character"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 4.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Yeah, sure. Earlier she was talking about geography.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "She was listing the countries she's done it in.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Do you know what that means? - That you're actually 50?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Hey, Bonnie had sex there!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "He wears it in the ocean to scare off the fish.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Maybe an old spinster cook.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Yeah, right.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Okay, so we've established my name and hit me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "I'd probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "No, just my luggage.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "What about that bike messenger you hit? - I wasn't talking about his karma.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "I was taken aboard that hat. They did experiments on me. I can't have children!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "And this time, they've ganged up and formed one giant superhat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Either that, or he has a really big cat.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Which one of you has the gun to my head?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "It has three beautiful bedrooms and no baths. But, you know, the ocean is right there.", "c": ["Phoebe Abbott"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "You're Irwin's daughter?", "c": ["Phoebe Abbott"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Or sangria! I could make sangria!", "c": ["Phoebe Abbott"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "The Three Losers.", "c": ["Phoebe Abbott"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Yeah, no, it was great.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "As long as it stays attached to that tax reform bill, it never will be!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Big bullies!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "I'm kind, caring and sweet. What's Monica like?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Fan out! Fan out!", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Strip Bag-of-old-knitting-stuff.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics department.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "How about I keep my boxers on and give you a peek at the good stuff?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "I don't know what they were doing, but sea turtles actually came up to the house.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Good morning. Nice breasts by the way.", "c": ["Bonnie", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "I brought back half the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I shaved my head.", "c": ["Bonnie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "You still love me? - No.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "But I made cards!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "My ass!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "My father is Chuck Mangione?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "I'm your mother.", "c": ["Phoebe Abbott"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "No, thanks. I just had an M&M.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Dorf on dating? That's good stuff!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 3, "e": 25, "et": "The One At The Beach"}, {"t": "Joey's recap: 'I don't really know what happened with that' repeated three times", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Rachel convinced her to shave her head' delivered matter-of-factly", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Thanks a million.' 'Oh, you're welcome a million.'", "c": ["Bonnie", "Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "Ross and Rachel's simultaneous 'Oh, my God' / 'I know' reaction beat", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'If I go in there, she's gonna want to... do stuff'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Can't you just tell her you're not in the mood?' 'No, she likes that.'", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Faking sleep doesn't work either'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "Ross oversharing about morning encounters with Bonnie", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Why am I telling you?' 'I don't know.'", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'It wasn't every morning...' 'Oh, making it worse.'", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I was born and then everyone started lying their asses off'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'The three of us were kind of a... couple' / 'I don't even know how that would work' / 'I'm not asking'", "c": ["Birth Mother", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "Phoebe's litany of hardships: mom's suicide, dad running off, living in a gremlin with Cindy who talked to his hand", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I'm a really cool person. You had 29 years to find that out but you didn't even try'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Oh, I'll go out and get you some.' 'Really?' 'No, because I'm not your boyfriend'", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I found a dried-up seahorse' as response to serious news", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'My new mom, who's a big fat abandoner'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I didn't even realize how late it was till I noticed the five o'clock shadow on her head'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'It's 5:30 in the morning, so I'd better get cracking on this baby'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I'll be up in 18 pages. Front and back.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "Ross claiming he read the letter twice when he actually fell asleep", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "Ross's non-answer: 'Does it?' leading to extended confusion", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'There's a nuclear holocaust, I'm the last man on earth. Would you go out with me?' 'Ehh.'", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I've got canned goods'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Excellent hole, Joe.' 'Oh no, no. My hole.'", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "Jellyfish sting setup and 'Damn the jellyfish! Damn all the jellyfish!'", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'You're gonna have to pee on it' / 'Don't blame me, I saw it on the Discovery Channel'", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Well, forget it. It doesn't hurt that bad!' immediately followed by more screaming", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'If you want some privacy, you can use my hole'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "Everyone's awkward reactions returning from the beach - 'Nothing' repeated", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Chandler", "Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'It so does not' - Rachel's private contradiction", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'We were on a break!' 'Oh my God, if you say that one more time, I'm gonna break up with you'", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'It's between us and the sea, Ross'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I read about her in Mom's suicide note' delivered casually", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "Fake suicide note: 'Goodbye Phoebe and Ursula. I'll miss you. P.S. Your mom lives in Montauk'", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'You just wrote this' 'Well, it's pretty much the gist'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ursula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Pass the cheese, please' - the 'poem'", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I'll give you $1000 to talk to us' / 'Hey you guys'", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'What do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?' 'NO.'", "c": ["Phoebe", "All"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I came back with nothing all over me'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "The entire jellyfish sting confession sequence buildup", "c": ["Joey", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I was tired from digging the huge hole'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'You peed on yourself?' reactions", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I couldn't bend that way. So...' leading to the realization", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'That's right, I stepped up. She's my friend and she needed help. If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Only, I couldn't. I got stage fright'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'There was too much pressure, so I turned to Chandler' [Chandler screeches]", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Joey kept screaming at me: Do it now! Do it! Do it! Do it now!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Sometimes late at night I can still hear the screaming'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'That's because sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "Phoebe's song about '66 colors of my bedroom'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I invite all of you to count the colors in your bedroom. Except for you. You go away.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'You came looking for family. I'm family. I'm it.'", "c": ["Birth Mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "Pizza/Beatles bonding leading to 'Puppies: cute or ugly?'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Birth Mother"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Stop it, now you're just doing it to freak me out'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'My mom never thought this would work out. She was all: Once a cheater, always a cheater'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'We were on a break!' explosion", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'You had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!'", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are. Y-O-U-R means your'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'Those spelling tips will come in handy when you're at home Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'It's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I knew it!'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'We were playing gin?' after 'Gin'", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'If we were a couple, we could play this game naked'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "'I think you're great... and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The One With The Jellyfish"}, {"t": "I get tetanus shots every time I get dressed!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Can we stick you in another cabinet? They seem all right with it!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Hey, why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because you have doody on your head.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Yeah, it was funnier when Ben told it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "You're so lucky! He's like the most popular guy in school!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Why? Did you write it?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex with another guy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Dumb drunken bitch", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "First tell us where you got the prettiest lace in the land.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Gepetto? Five thousand dollars? Are you insane?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "What kind of profit is that? And you call yourself an accountant?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "I can't believe you don't know. I actually don't know.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "There's a kitty in my guitar case. Everyone's gonna want one.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my mother.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "That makes the fact that she owns beach-front property all the more impressive.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Have you been taking your grandmother's glaucoma medicine again?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "No, Dr. Skeptismo.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "My mother's favorite fish was orange roughy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "You had me with orange felt.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Phoebe's mom's got a huge pair of... Let it go!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "I couldn't find him for hours! He was having sex with Amy Welsh!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, you're right, Moni-cow.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "They had that specially made?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! They said it was for the mascot.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "I never let her eat.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "If possible, could you leave him and have sex with another guy?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Just like when she was alive.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "I just spelled the wrong word.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Hey, you swore you would never tell.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "You won't suck me into this. Sure I will. Because you always have to be right.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Jurassic Park could happen.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "And you know what? Actually, I do think Kirk was smarter than Spock.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Pardon my roommate. He wanted to marry this.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Then when you get home, throw the canoe away. We're not throwing it away. I built it.", "c": ["Buyer", "Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Apparently Phoebe's mother also goes by the name 'Julio.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. This is not the same cat. This cat's only this big.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Yeah! $200 reward split five ways!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "He is right, isn't he? This might be one time when he's wrong. Oh, no. He's right.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Not yet, not yet, not yet!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "So, Monica about ready?", "c": ["Chip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "My roommate bet me $5 I couldn't. Then he stuck a board through the handles and locked me in.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "It was funny till I felt like it was a coffin.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Sometimes I come in here just to get away from it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "That's what we called your motorcycle in high school. A motorcycle's a chopper. And you're Chip.", "c": ["Monica", "Chip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "A lipper from Chipper.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "After high school, you kind of lose touch. I ran into Richard Dorfman. How is he? Me and Simens gave him a wedgie.", "c": ["Chip", "Monica", "Chip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Isn't he an architect? They still wear underwear.", "c": ["Monica", "Chip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "How were you locked in? Where the hell is all of our stuff?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Bend over?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Still at the Multiplex? Like I'd give up that job! Free popcorn and candy anytime I want?", "c": ["Monica", "Chip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Do you still live with your parents? Yeah, but I can stay out as late as I want.", "c": ["Monica", "Chip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Why couldn't he have been a kidnapper.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Man, he took the five of spades! No, here it is.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Tonight, I actually went out with Chip in high school.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "They said, 'You don't have insurance. Stop calling us.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Ross, how many parents have you lost? None.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "I think she would like that.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "If she'd come back as a couch, we'd really appreciate it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Dude, you don't have to brag. We got nothing here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Cat"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I'm paddling away.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Really? We got all this rusty crap for free?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And some of it is not even popped.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Could we be more white trash?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "How desperate am I? Good thing Chandler's not here. He always wins at this game.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I just told my mom I'd cater her party. How come? I need the money. It'd be a great way to get rid of that last smidgen of self-respect.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "You don't have to stick up for her. She can't hear you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Do you have any juice? Just pickle.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Last time you went out with her you said she was a dud! I judged her too quickly. This time, we took it to the next level.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "It's not an everyday occurrence! Usually I'm in there by myself.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Sorry. I knew what he meant.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I thought it was cute. It's what your grandmother's hands looked like when we found her.", "c": ["Monica", "Monica's Mom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I assume you didn't sleep with anyone there. At least that would be something.", "c": ["Monica's Mom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "And hey, it's cool if you're a lesbian.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "No, but try the classifieds. People sell everything in there.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, it's totally unconstitutional. I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. It was like the Algonquin kids' table.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I meant, it's weird that you only have nine now.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "It's because they're going to eat... That's the problem.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "And whoever finds it wins the prize!", "c": ["Monica's Mom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "You bet I'd lose a nail? Don't be silly. I just bet that I'd need these. You bet that I'd screw up?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "This was just in case you 'pulled a Monica'. You promised Dr. Weinberg you'd never use that phrase.", "c": ["Monica's Mom", "Monica"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "That's right. My mom has no faith in me! That's hilarious!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "No. You have lasagnas!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "It just doesn't feel like we're breaking up. No, we are. I'm sad.", "c": ["Joanna", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "You're not the boss of me. Yeah, you are.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I'll keep it in my butt with your nose.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I'm in my boss' car. What? Tunnel!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "And on a totally separate subject, that's a lovely pantsuit.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "It did enter my mind. But then something happened that made it shoot right out.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "You must have me confused with the 'Amazing Chandler'!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I never borrowed it. Then I lost it. Buy me one!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "No, I always see guys do this when handcuffs are taken off.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I'll tell a lie! I'm good at lying! I actually did borrow your Walkman!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "He cut off his ear. And? I'm out.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I thought he cut off his ear because he sucked.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Where does the Pope live? In the woods.", "c": ["Salesman", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Spock's birth control.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Why does that have to be a bad thing? Just change what it means.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "A fireman saves a baby, and they go, 'He pulled a Monica'.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Someone hits a homer, and they say, 'That one's out of here'. Because some things don't change.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "My breasts are really strong.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I'll clean your bathroom for a month. Still won't be clean.", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Why won't you hear me! Sophie, help me! Sophie, sit!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "There's a lot I didn't know about vomit.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I'm home during the day...and I got patio furniture in my living room.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I got a baby Tootsie Roll...a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex...a rock...and an army man.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "And a fifty. These must be Chandler's pants.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I want to see how this bad boy turns out.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I can be very generous...or very stingy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I can make you this generation's Milton Berle. And Milton Berle has... Not compared to you.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "A bitch? I meant 'wrong', but we can use your word.", "c": ["Monica", "Monica's Mom"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "You might even say that she 'pulled a Monica'.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "She doesn't know we switched it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I love you. What's going on? No, he doesn't!", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Speaking of volcanoes, man, are they a violent igneous rock formation!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Why are you talking about volcanoes all of a sudden? We don't have to. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The vas deferens? The Vietnam War?", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "Could there be more Kims?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "I've had a slight office mishap.", "c": ["Joanna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Cuffs"}, {"t": "The old condom ring in the leather just doesn't say 'cool' anymore.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Rachel, you just put an empty carton back in the fridge.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "I know, but the garbage was full. Have you ever taken out the trash?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Well, I thought you liked doing it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Aw, of course not. You're a little princess.", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of Cats sing 'Happy Birthday' to me.", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "God, if you're going to cry about it!", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "He said really mean things that were only partly true.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "That's easy for you to say. You weren't almost just killed!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "All right, that's it. School is in session!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "I try to go four times a week, but I've missed the last 1200 times.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "They use all these phrases and peppiness to confuse you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "She's like this lycra, spandex-covered, gym treat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Hold on. I'll get the plunger.", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Maybe you haven't heard of 'not making girls cry.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Maybe you haven't heard of the Rent Stabilization Act of 1968.", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "I have actually not heard of that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Why don't you tell me something I don't know?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Every time I see him, I want to do things to him I can't charge for.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "No, I made myself take one. No fooling around with clients and, um, always be prepared.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "That one's from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "You're going to do some feet flirting!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "It's Arabian Princess Day at work. Leave me alone!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Rachel always cries!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "You suck like you've never sucked before!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "No, I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "[GRUNTS]", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "I want to quit the gym!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Maria.", "c": ["Maria"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Wow. You have really pretty feet.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Because, um, the muscles in the sciatic area can get real nice and tight.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Did you just bite me?", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Those are, uh, nicknames. I'm the chick, and Chandler's the duck.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Huh. I would've thought it was the other way around.", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "That's not prison lingo, is it?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "There's this superintendents' dance, 'The Super Ball.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "He almost danced me right down that garbage chute.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "And that's funny, why?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Well, that's it. We're doomed. They'll take $50 a month from our accounts for the rest of our lives.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Or we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Oh, man! But then we won't be bank buddies.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "I bit him. - Where? - On the tushy.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Group"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "I want to throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "and, uh, Chandler.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Thank you. - Oh, no, thank you.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "If I'm Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "I'm just a big potato with arms and legs and a head.", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "So how goes the dancing? Gay yet?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "You just did a little dancy thing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "And it wasn't a hop. It was a pas de bourr\u00e9e.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "This is so sweet. Joey, our little twinkletoes.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "I want to quit the bank!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Rick playing baseball. He slides into second. Maybe even his pants come down a little.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Chandler's knees. Chandler's ankles. Chandler's ankle hair.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "In really long hour-world.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Suddenly I'm very aware I'm naked.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "I'd definitely pay more for that.", "c": ["Mr. Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "You'd better tell his other wife. She called three times asking where he is.", "c": ["Mrs. Potter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "And somehow we ended up with a joint checking account.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "To pay for the gym.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Rick and I hit it off. We were making out. Then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "I have never been fired from anything.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Then these policemen thought I was a whore too.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "It's really been a bad day, whore-wise.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Yeah, Bunny Rabbit.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "That was amazing! We totally nailed it!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "You see, I think I'm ready to dance with girls.", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "You'd dance good with her. She's the same size as me.", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "They thought I was a whore.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Ballroom Dancing"}, {"t": "Ross enters with a clearly visible black eye, prompting immediate visual comedy", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Multiple characters asking 'What happened to your eye?' in overlapping dialogue", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross explains he got the black eye from a hockey puck at a Rangers game", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey enters with Kathy, introducing her as his new girlfriend", "c": ["Joey", "Kathy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Kathy mentions she's an actress, prompting knowing looks between the friends", "c": ["Kathy", "Monica", "Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler asks what kind of acting Kathy does, with obvious skepticism in his tone", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Kathy reveals she does children's theater, specifically playing a lion", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey proudly says 'She roars and everything!' with genuine enthusiasm", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross mentions he should get going to pick up Ben, shifting focus to his parental responsibilities", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica suggests Ross should wear sunglasses to hide the black eye from Ben", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross points out that wearing sunglasses indoors would be even more suspicious", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler makes a joke about Ross looking like a domestic violence victim", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Cut to Chandler and Joey's apartment where Chandler is awkwardly trying to make conversation with Kathy", "c": ["Chandler", "Kathy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler asks Kathy about her lion role and she demonstrates with an actual roar", "c": ["Chandler", "Kathy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler's stunned reaction to the roar, clearly not expecting it to be so realistic", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Kathy mentions that children sometimes cry when she roars", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler sarcastically comments 'That's the goal in children's theater'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey enters and immediately asks what they're talking about, sensing tension", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler awkwardly explains they were discussing her roaring technique", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Cut to Monica's apartment where she's obsessively organizing already-clean items", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Rachel enters and asks Monica what she's doing, Monica claims she's 'straightening'", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Rachel points out that Monica straightened those same items yesterday", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Monica defensively explains that things get 'unstraight' throughout the day", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Rachel gives Monica a look that clearly says 'you're crazy' without speaking", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Cut to Ross at his ex-wife's apartment, awkwardly explaining his black eye", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Carol (his ex-wife) sarcastically asks if the hockey puck 'jumped up and hit him'", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross literally explains that yes, the puck did bounce up and hit him, missing Carol's sarcasm entirely", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ben runs in and immediately asks daddy why he has a 'boo-boo' on his face", "c": ["Ben", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross kneels down and gives Ben an age-appropriate explanation about accidents at hockey games", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ben asks if Ross is going to die, escalating the situation dramatically", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross frantically reassures Ben while Carol watches with obvious amusement", "c": ["Ross", "Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Back at Central Perk, Joey is telling Gunther about Kathy's roaring abilities", "c": ["Joey", "Gunther"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Gunther's deadpan response suggests he's not impressed by roaring skills", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler enters looking troubled and sits with an exaggerated sigh", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey obliviously asks Chandler what he thinks about Kathy, putting him on the spot", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler awkwardly tries to give a neutral response about Kathy being 'nice'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey pushes for more details, asking what specifically Chandler likes about her", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler mentions Kathy's intelligence, then catches himself sounding too enthusiastic", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Joey beams with pride and thanks Chandler for the compliment about his girlfriend", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler excuses himself with obvious discomfort, claiming he needs to get home", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Final scene: Ross enters Central Perk with an even more dramatic black eye than before", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "All friends simultaneously ask 'What happened NOW?' in perfect unison", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ross sheepishly explains that Ben wanted to play hockey in the apartment", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Chandler delivers the final line: 'Maybe next time he'll want to play boxing'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys New Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Thanks for the tasty dinner. -You're welcome for a tasty dinner.", "c": ["Unknown 1", "Unknown 2"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.65, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Ross and the most beautiful girl in the world. Yeah, come to Papa!", "c": ["Ross", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Probably the only time I'll say this... but did you see the ass on her?", "c": ["Unknown friend"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "What did you...? When did you...? How did you...? How did you get a girl like that?", "c": ["Unknown friend"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "But that's, like, the easiest era.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Maybe her friends are betting to see who gets the biggest geek.", "c": ["Unknown friend"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Fine by me. Hope she wins.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "See who can bring home the most beautiful woman. That's a good idea, Joe. We could call it life.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "I have a call in about that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Don't touch it because your fingers have destructive oils.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Then you'd better keep it away from Ross' hair.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "What a great way to say, 'I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "It doesn't say that. Does it?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Like a crossbow!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! What happened? Sixty guests.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "You sound like 'Moni-can't,' not 'Moni-can'!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Moni-ca.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Neither have you. -Yes, but I'm doing this.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "You can pee here.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "It's okay. The duck's using our bathroom anyway.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "And not one of your coupons for an hour of 'Joey Love.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "But you can't help me develop my new universal language.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! It was the best funeral ever!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "It's like I am the official caterer for that accident.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "You told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I be'd.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Aborigine.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Aborigine. Oh, no, I tried that already.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Did Homo erectus hunt with wooden tools? According to recent findings.", "c": ["Ross", "Cheryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Do you have any Cinnamon Fruit Toasties?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Don't take this the wrong way... but your place kind of has a weird smell.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Look what we almost left! That's not mine. Look what we almost took!", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "No, but I made a widow cry. See you in hell.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Do you know the name of that one? I don't know. Grease?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Yes, it is... at Office Max!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "She's not 11! And it's not the seventh night of Chanukah.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "She's writing. She turns it over. 'It's time for my date with Joey!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "She didn't have one. For three years?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Oh, so it's a card, but it's also a poem-holder.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "With those thick glasses, her tears look giant.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "It's either 'That massage wasn't long enough'... or 'I don't know any of those songs'... or 'These sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time... and garbage is all that has survived.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "What kind of smell? I don't know. Soap?", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Now you go get that beautiful pig!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Yeah, I found this great place called 'Invisible Things for Kathy.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Oh, 'pathetic'!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Is it a book that's also a safe?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Or the limo driver, or the priest, and he can get the dead guy damned for all eternity.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "We're part-time caterers and we have no place else to go.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Department of Sanitation?", "c": ["Cheryl"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Thank God it's not Mitzi! It's just a rat.", "c": ["Cheryl"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "I did it! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "I'm a hard-ass. And I'm a wuss. We should be partners. Hard-ass and wuss. We could fight crime.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "It'll be like I have a wife in the 50s!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "I got to tell you... I feel bad taking credit for this, because... am I going to get a lot of credit for this!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "You think it's just a pen, but you turn it over and it's also a clock.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Don't forget your coupon.", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "When Joey gave it to me he said: 'This is because I know you like rabbits, and I know you like cheese.'", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "In case you missed that, that sound was, 'Oh, well.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "Hey, that coupon expires, you know.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "I won't be able to sleep.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Dirty Girl"}, {"t": "I just saw Kathy naked. It was like torture. If we go to war and you're captured, you're in for a surprise.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "At least with her clothes on... I could imagine her body was covered in boils. But there are no boils. She's smooth. Smooth!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Could you see up his robe?", "c": ["Monica", "Group"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "The craziest thing is, I just ate a whole pizza myself.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Well, I'm upset... for you. Sex with an endless line of women must be unfulfilling.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "You got all that from the back of her head?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Who's Elaine?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Juice just came out of my nose, but it was worth it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Play that funky music, white boy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 3.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "You should think of my work... as wordless sound poems.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "[Ross's terrible keyboard performance with sound effects]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Well, you know, that was... terrific. Really... bitchin'.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I left my helicopter sounds on another disk. I'll be back.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "God bless my dad for soundproofing the basement.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I can't believe I ever let him touch me with those fingers.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "You mean, music?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Yes, but I just watch it for the articles.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I like it in the stern. Of the boat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I think my time is about to...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I thought your time ran out. Me too, but I guess I do have...", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I had an appointment to cut my hair. Looks great. And then it got canceled.", "c": ["Kathy", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Don't make my tail too poofy.", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Oh, thanks. I grow it myself.", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "[Chandler moaning while cutting Kathy's hair]", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "The phone! The phone's making sounds.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "It fell out. I just figured we hit a dog.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I really did. I forgot my purse.", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "We swallow our feelings, even if we're unhappy forever. Sound good?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "You're getting me confused. I'm starting to yearn.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Are you still out there? No.", "c": ["Chandler", "Kathy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "There's a Starbucks about three blocks down.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "It'd be like those poor bicycle-riding chimps... who had to follow the Beatles.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "My God, he's not even appreciated in his own time.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "You suck too.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "You guys. You suck too.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I'm 29. I mean, who needs a savings account?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I think somebody's got a little crush on Casey.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "That all the pieces of my life are falling right into place.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I just feel so dwarfed by your musical gift.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "How could I live if I knew I was depriving the world of your music?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Joey has the best boyfriend ever.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "You obviously haven't screwed over your friends. Which we all appreciate.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Would it be okay if I wrote a song about this?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Sambuca Margarita? It that a real thing? Well, we only had sambuca, so it is now.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "I thought she was doing some scene, so I let people watch.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "You're so far past the line, that you can't even see the line. The line's a dot to you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "It's all tainted with your betrayal.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "And just so you know... I made that bread for you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "Rats in the basement are hanging themselves.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "You were playing bad on purpose, guys. Just that last song.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"}, {"t": "What is the name of...your roommate who is very sorry and would do anything?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "-Damn it, Chandler, stop calling. -Joey, it's Ross.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Should we all expect Christmas gifts that are stolen from your office?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Who gets whom.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I don't know why I do that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I invented Secret Santa, you know.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "You're the one who said Die Hard was your idea. It was. Don't make me show you the napkin.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "We haven't eaten yet. I know, but all that work you're doing to get it ready and....", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Why do you want to get rid of her so badly? She exchanges every gift she gets.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I got her that backpack and she loved it. I remember she cried when that big dog ran off with it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "There was no big dog.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "This sucks! I already got her a briefcase with 'R.G.' put on it. Her initials.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm really bad at initials.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, my Camel Cash was about to expire.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "You know what? It's a girlie briefcase. Who cares! He works in a museum.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "People are trying to sleep in here! Monica got ice in her eye and it hurts!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Maybe you should put some ice on it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "No, my eye doctor is Richard! I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend. He's really picky about his patients.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Like I remember his office number! Speed dial seven.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "She's very excited about that!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Get out of my kitchen.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I've got to call my mom and ask her a left-handed cooking question.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I don't know, R.G. I was thinking something girlie for your office.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Then you'll get stuck with Rachel, and she exchanges every gift.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Big dog?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "If Chandler had kissed Rachel, would you hear him out? That's a good point.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Five years. You've sentenced him? Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "With him out of the way as my best friend, there's a spot open. Who, me? Yeah.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I'm honored. You know what I'm going to do as your best friend? I'm going to get you to talk to Chandler.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "He just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "-Gunther, have you seen Chandler? -I thought you were Chandler.", "c": ["Ross", "Gunther"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "So cute that I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Dr. Richard Burke is out. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I won't live with someone who doesn't know what it is to be a friend.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "And that chick used to be very cute.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "What? We got a box.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Just probably waiting for it to open.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Like a pirate? If that helps you.", "c": ["Monica", "Tim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "So you made her walk the plank, aye, matey?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "You're not wearing the patch yet.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "-He's coming here for Thanksgiving? -I know. It's sick.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "If it were Greek, I'd be blind in both eyes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I could see where I'd be your best shot, but no.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Judge all you want to. Married a lesbian, left a man at the altar...loved a gay ice dancer...threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, live in a box!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "The meaning of the box is threefold. One, it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three...it hurts.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Air hole! Air hole!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "The necklace I got you was gold. This is silver. Well, maybe...it changed.", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Isn't it better to exchange it for something I enjoy...and can use a lot? What did you get? Credit.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "-What's? -Well, he's.... He's doing some thinking.", "c": ["Tim", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Fancy soap? I thought we were saving that for the pope.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Do you want a relationship where you can actually say: 'That's not how your dad used to do it'?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Sick, sick, sick, sick.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "You shouldn't be talking at all. You've got too much thinking to do to be talking and joking.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Joey's got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Nothing's the matter with me. I'm not completely devoid of sentiment. I have feelings.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "You can't tell, but I'm breaking the tension by mooning you guys.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Otherwise, you're just an idiot in a box.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Though you're not supposed to take these. It's, like, a million years old. We actually have people looking for that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "Even the one in the box?", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "-It reminded you of -Don't say it! -It did, didn't it? -Yes!", "c": ["Monica", "Tim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "You know what's worst for me is you remind me of a younger version of my mom.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "I don't want to be someone who comes between two best friends.", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "We're going to be fine. Get out!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "She sees him! They're hugging! He's taking her purse. That's not them.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "All right, get a room.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Chandler In A Box"}, {"t": "What do you want to show us? Because all I can see is this bitchen van!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "We'll replace the sword with a baguette.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I think I lost my virginity in that van.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Oh yeah, I definitely know her.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Sure, Cilantro Larry!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "...dozens of people!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "That was me, hopping on board.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "There's this thing about bees on the Discovery Channel.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Gandalf? Gandalf is coming to town?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Wow, okay. Dude alert!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Mike 'Gandalf' Ganderson. Only the funnest guy in the world.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Remember those strippers? And you paid me $50 to eat that book?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "No, I had sex in high school.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Neither can you, Sophie, but for different reasons.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "-Really? -No.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Yeah. I mean, no.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Kidding!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "You go out for beer and end up on a boat to Nova Scotia.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snakebite kit.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Somewhere maybe along the equator?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Chicago's so lucky.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Stupid, useless... Canadian money!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "It did brighten up the filing cabinets.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "She gets it right almost every time.", "c": ["Joanna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Rachel can carry two things at once.", "c": ["Joanna"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "With them. Under them. What's the difference?", "c": ["Joanna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Would I go back to Allesandro's? Sure, I'd get two meals. One for me, and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Because it would be silly to take it out if we're just gonna put it back in again.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "I couldn't eat it. My five friends couldn't eat it, and one of them eats books.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "You should serve it with vodka and celery.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Congratulations. You crossed the line into completely useless. Get out.", "c": ["Joanna"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "...-ing binge.", "c": ["Joanna"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "I balanced my checkbook. And I gave first names to all the foosball players.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Those were seals, man.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "It would totally depend on her coloring and...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "I'm going to have walls!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "...with empty trays, asking for money.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Thank God! I'm exhausted.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "I don't want to be up too late, so I'll have a decaf.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "I used them as mittens. I didn't want to touch a thing in that last place.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "And so what if I like to go home, put on Kenny G and take a bath?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "We're 29. We're not women.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "And I really don't want to be the reason I'm unhappy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Yes. So close!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Nothing about an assistant buyer?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Of course, that literally is the case for several of you.", "c": ["Allesandro"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Are you going to kill me?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Theyre Going To Party!"}, {"t": "Fifteen? Your personal best!", "c": ["Friend 1"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I sat near the door so she'd have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Were you so late because you were burying this woman?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "How can she be great if she's from Poughkeepsie?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "That joke would have killed in Albany.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Done! I did it. Who's stupid now?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I want somebody!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "You know, I want a man!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Let me tell you, it's been a long time since I've been flung.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I know what I'm giving you for Christmas.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I have a girlfriend. I'm happy. I no longer go out of my way to stop others from being happy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "And Ross was what? A lion tamer?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Maybe they meant to write 'Quiet, Bitch.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "What's the matter? Fine! Just trying to be nice.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I haven't been picked on this much since kindergarten. And they brought in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Then they would all know who was boss.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "It's a good idea. Can you waiter? Good enough to get fired. All right. You're hired!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "That's why I got fired last week! Does Orson Welles direct commercials?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I'm not asking for me. I'm not gay. I'm not asking you out. I'm not gay. I didn't think you were gay. I do now.", "c": ["Chandler", "Drew"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "By the way, that is her full name.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I don't know what that is, but let's!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I know, but it's so hard. Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel: Bagel, mail, jail, bail, cable.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Maypole.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "But did he ever call you 'Budolph'?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Have I got the 50 guys for you!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Guys are signing over their 401Ks to me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "You work with robots?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Now, wait a second. You make food and robots?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "No, the robots just work for them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Does anybody have a problem with that? Yeah, lady. I do! I got a problem! I'll give you a problem! What will you do? Fire me? You bet your ass I'll fire you!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "If she wasn't kidding, she's not fun. She's stupid and racist.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "You're still on fire there.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Like father, like son.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "You telling him I want a fling and me putting out... he's so going to get the wrong idea!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I'd prefer you didn't call me Joey. I thought it might be fun to try out a cool nickname.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Hey, Dragon!", "c": ["Server"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Because you'll make up fake specials and make me cook them? Sure, that too.", "c": ["Monica", "Server"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Can't hear you!", "c": ["Server"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "He has a name. It's Dragon.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "It's been a long time since I had... $327 plus $238!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "What nice things? Nothing yet. They hate you, and I want to fit in.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Ross doesn't decorate his tree with floss... but he's not complaining.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "It's the one with the cat.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "It was a different joke. It wasn't that funny.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Prague? So much you don't know.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "You graduated magna cum laude, right?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Actually, it's a hockey team. Angry Canadians with no teeth.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "What is the matter with you? There is no good time to ask that question.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I don't speak English. You just did. I don't know what to tell you.", "c": ["Cook", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "And covered in marinara sauce! Let me out!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Well, that's not true.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "What if I dance covered in sauce? You think it's funny?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I bet myself that you had beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win!", "c": ["Unknown Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "No, but it's only a two-hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.", "c": ["Unknown Woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "I should have thought about my wife and kids... before I talked back to Chef Geller. It will be a lean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "Lean, lean, lean!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"}, {"t": "We've been trying to get pregnant since we got engaged, to get a jump on things.", "c": ["Frank Jr.", "Alice"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "...and put it into another girl. We were wondering if you could be that girl.", "c": ["Frank Jr.", "Alice", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I was thinking of a gravy boat.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Well, actually, we kind of need an answer to that one right now.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 3.58, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "You said 'black.' Why would he want his blue blazer black?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Well, you know what I meant. You messed it up. You're stupid.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Yeah, actually, Joey, it's the Cretaceous Period.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "But I can pronounce Jurassic.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Are you serious? You're thinking of having sex with your brother?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Ew! And, oh, no!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "It's her egg and his sperm. I'm the oven. It's their bun.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "You'll carry their child and get them a Sony PlayStation?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "And that baby was, you know... a keeper.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "You were more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Yeah, sure. It's not mine anyway. It came with the pants.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "That is really nice... lying!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "He's right. I'm totally lying.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I was going for the metaphor. / I was saying the actual words.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "We share a wall.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Either he's great, or she liked to agree with him a lot. Loudly and a lot. All night long she'd agree.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "But I'm just doing it for you guys.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "This is a museum. No talking.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Right down here we have... a large foot.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I had time to finish glazing my nipples. / You go all out when you're expecting company. / I was working on my pottery.", "c": ["Phoebe's birth mom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Mostly nudes. It combines my two passions: pottery and erotica. Erottery!", "c": ["Phoebe's birth mom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "No, no, I understand the pain. Don't hurt the puppy!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I really shouldn't have given you the puppy first.", "c": ["Phoebe's birth mom"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Oh, it's time to take my ass out of the kiln.", "c": ["Phoebe's birth mom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Doctor? I didn't know he had a nickname.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Maybe it's crazy in a perfect world: a world without lab coats and blazers. But you not in a perfect world. You in a museum now.", "c": ["Rhonda"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I gave you my Snack Pack!", "c": ["Rhonda"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I eat by myself in the alley, because everybody hates me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "When we're in the audience, he doesn't talk but he does wave.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Why's Phoebe singing to Karl Malden?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "She was like, 'I see your point. I'm all right with it.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "My God! Somebody's killing her in there!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "You don't have to draw an actual... Whoa, she's hot!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Well, you know, sometimes that helps.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "You might if it were like seven.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "Oh, toes!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "A one, two, three. A three. A five. A four. A three, two. Two. A two, four, six. Two, four, six. Four. Two. Two. Four, seven! Five, seven! Six, seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "You might even say he took me on a tour... of myself.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I'm Ross! I'm divorced and I have a kid!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I'm Joey! I'm an actor! I don't know squat about dinosaurs!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I'm Andrew. And I didn't pay for this pear.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I'm Rhonda! And these aren't real!", "c": ["Rhonda"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "I flip the light switch on and off 17 times when I leave a room... or my family will die.", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "It's like Sophie's Choice. / You know, I never saw that. / Oh, it was only okay.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "What else can I give them? A kidney!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "He's so cute! He reminds me of my old dog, Tumor.", "c": ["Alice"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "It's just, that was my puppy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Phoebes Uterus"}, {"t": "What the hell is that? Is that you? [ROOSTER CROWS]", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Boy, you're really not a morning person. - Just back off!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "It's the chick. She's going through some changes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Well, the vet seems to think that she's becoming a rooster. We're getting a second opinion.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Well, I've been up since 6... thanks to somebody's dumb-ass rooster.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Yeah, especially not with all these knives and cookbooks around.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "see if I'm ready... to have Frank and Alice's embryo transferred into my uterus.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Oh, I can check that for you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "She's mad because I know today's her laundry day... and that means she's wearing her old-lady underpants.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "I can check that for you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "You can only eat Tic Tacs in even numbers.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "You're good. These are not.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Challenge extended. - Deal. - Challenge accepted.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "All right, we'll start with... apples. We'll be starting with apples.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "I got it. Scotch... tape.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Well, we used up theirs last night making scary faces.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Cough it up. Pay the piper.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "It's not like he has a job or a child or a life of his own.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Oh, I knew it. I knew it. I felt really thick this morning.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Five? Okay, where am I giving birth... in a hospital or a big box under the stairs?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "I was thinking, what are the odds... if, like, you stuff, like, 200 of them in there?", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Sweetie, now... she's a woman, not a gumball machine.", "c": ["Alice"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "That's a lot of pressure on me and my uterus.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Why doesn't she get drunk? That worked for a bunch of girls in my high school.", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Animals dressed as humans.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "His legs flail about as if independent from his body.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Althea? What are you doing? - Took a shot. Shooting with Althea?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to 'Chanandler Bong.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Actually, it's Miss Chanandler Bong.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "I'm hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Oh, and also, next time you see me, if I'm screaming, don't worry. That's what's supposed to happen.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Viva Las Gaygas.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "I majored in Lightning Rounds, all right?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm so confused as to what we've been doing so far.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "How about if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "But if we win... we get your apartment.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Look at my hand. Why, do you have the answers written on there? No. Steady as a rock.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Big Fat Goalie.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Weekend at Bernie's.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "[Monica's shocked reaction to pencil location]", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Okay, everyday use. - Fancy. - Guest. - Fancy guest. - Two seconds. - Uh, eleven?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Fourteen? - No, 19. Thanks, man.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh! He's a transponster. That's not even a word!", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Sure I can. Standard Shotgun Rules. I'm in sight of the room and I called it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Bet you can't guess what color my tonsils are. I bet the apartment.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "I mean, they are, like, literally putting all their eggs in my basket.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Well, the doctor says it takes a couple days. But, I mean, my body's always been a little faster than Western medicine, so...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "You bet on a bet, and if you lose, you lose the bet.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Chanandler Bong. Come on, we steal that TV Guide every week.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Yeah, good. I'm gonna let gravity, you know, do its jobs.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "This is a girl's apartment. That is a boy's apartment. It's dirty and it smells.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "And now I have got the steady hand.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "How'd it go? - I lost our mattresses.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Are you in there, little fetus? In nine months, will you come greet us? I will buy you some Adidas", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Hey, don't mix those up. You could really ruin that lollipop.", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "So, um, you feel like taking a test? There's only one question.", "c": ["Alice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "You know what? You are mean boys who are just being mean.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "My sister's going to have my baby!", "c": ["Frank Jr"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "[Both screaming at something in drawer]", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, it'll die.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "Did you see the size of the closets? I can't believe we live here.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Embryos"}, {"t": "I get to have sex with the star of the play! -People can hear you. -I know!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "So you been doing this long? No. You're my first. Put the money on the table.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "-Is that an expensive blouse? -If you want it to be.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Here's your girlfriend's button.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "...throw your purses at it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "What is that? Where you walk around with rich people and tell them what to buy? That sounds great!", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "We switched apartments. You can't eat our food. That gravy train has ended. There's gravy?", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "-What are you doing? -I think I left a doughnut up here.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "It's like somebody wrote down my worst nightmare... ...and then charged me $32 to see it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "That's a good idea for a business.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "He'll be like, 'Where's your boyfriend? What's his name? Chester?' She'll go, 'It's Chandler.' He'll go, 'Whatever!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "That is a good trick.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood. They're not a couple. I get the game now.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "When they were doing it on stage, was it really hot? Oh, yeah. So you're fine.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "You guys have been to every play I've been in. Have I ever had chemistry on stage? -No. -No!", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Getting closer. Don't worry... we also have cereals, muffins, waffles and... jams, jellies and marmalades, which I'm sure are the same thing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Please eat, because Joey opened everything.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Yeah? Who's playing? The players.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Please. It's a relief, is what it is, is what it is.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "I just helped an 81-year-old woman put on a thong, and she didn't even buy it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with this suit and what turned out to be a skirt.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "It wasn't much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "You needed to speak to me? No, no, that wasn't me.", "c": ["Rachel", "Mr. Waltham"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Let me show you my underwear. The selection of underwear that we carry.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Come on. It was like cousins having sex.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Don't say a word. Just be cool. Don't be, you know, you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Clearly, you're having sex with him.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "You're accusing me of cheating on you, and you're insulting my performance?", "c": ["Kathy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over, and I got to dress him up all day!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Rachel has a new doll!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "I wish he was a doll. I'd get a Rachel doll and bump them together... ...and make kissing noises.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "He's got the most beautiful name. I never realized. Joshua. Joshua. Josh.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Cookies and porn? You're the best mom ever!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "How does Jason look in a V-neck? -It's Joshua. -Whatever.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "I served the best air.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Slut!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "I don't live here!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Then I went over to Beefsteak Chewley's.... -Beefsteak Charlie's? -Yes!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "You and I have always been like:", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "I don't remember it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "That's such a turn-on. Really? It doesn't seem desperate? That's the turn-on.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "You've never asked a guy out? No. Have you? Thousands of times!", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "That doesn't make me sound too good, does it?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "What I do is, I look a woman up and down, and I say... 'Hey. How you doing?'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Oh, please! Hey. How you doing?", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Well, let's see. This license belongs to... ...belongs to a Mr. Pheebs.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "-You've done that a thousand times? -I've never done that.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out: Lone gunman, communism, geometry.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "'Who likes the Knick?'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "That would be fantastic! My nephew is crazy about the Knicks!", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Nick's pants?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "He didn't turn me down. He's at the game. I got the date. I'm just not on it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "What do you think of the floor? I don't know. Looks the same. You used to have carpet.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "I'm always the hostess.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Nick and his rock-hard pecs and his giant man-nipples.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "They wouldn't have ended up in bed. I threw her at his man-nipples!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "Well, if she thought they were on a break....", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes. I just wanted to see you again.", "c": ["Joshua", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "'How you doing?'", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Crush"}, {"t": "So, what is this? Googlie Worm. And this? Glow Pop Jiggly Jam. It's so funny!", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "What's this? A hunk of sandwich from last year.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Geller's got one hooked! Looks like a big one!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Someone knocked over a lamp.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "When my Dad asks, 'What are you doing with your life?' I can say, 'I'm doing a movie with Charlton Heston. What about you?'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Well, except you.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Yeah, I wish that rooster were dead.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "There's nothing I can do. He's still in his sweats. That's only phase one.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Phase two? Getting drunk and going to a strip club.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "How does going there make him better? There are naked ladies there.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Then to phase three: seeing yourself with other women. There are naked ladies there too.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "This one is large. And this one... Also large? Two larges coming right up.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Hello. -Damn you. -Could I have a moment?", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "My niece, you see, is in town from London. Shropshire, but you know.", "c": ["Mr. Waltham"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Sure. You got it! Count me in. Me. Fledermaus. Great!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "You're into hard-core S & M, right? -Well, I guess. -I'm kidding.", "c": ["Joshua", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "You'll like it. It has two out of the three tenors.", "c": ["Mr. Waltham"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "You know what else is the one? My sweatpants.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Wow, and I can't resist that line. That's why I never wear sweatpants.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Three days without a shower. Plus, I fell in a big tub of worms!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "You see? He just needed his pal to come home.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Unless she wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Chandler's still in phase one, and Joey's that thing you smell.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "That is a toughie.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "You can't see people through that hole, can you?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "I must've missed your call, though I didn't leave the flat all day.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "I've been run down by one of your wiener carts and been strip-searched at the airport. Apparently, I look like someone who's got cocaine stuffed up their bum.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Don't you just love the way they talk?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "No, wait. The elastic in my underwear busted.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Run 10 blocks. That'll help the smell.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "There is no Rachel Greep. But this girl overheard us. And she said, 'I'm Rachel Greep!' And he let her in.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "This big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella so I clocked her.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "That's short for Phoebe? I thought that's what we called each other.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "It's 9:30 a.m. They got a breakfast buffet.", "c": ["Chandler", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "There's a deer outside eating fruit from the orchard! I got to go! There's a deer eating fruit from the orchard!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "When you first met Barry, you flitted off to Vail.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Could you, just for once, not remember every little thing?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "You can't go back a phase! You're thinking about time. You can't go back in time.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "We can be guys! No, you can't. Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys.", "c": ["Monica", "Unknown", "Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "No, you don't. You'd be all hairy and wouldn't live as long.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Look at that. Charlton Heston eating licorice.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "I could see why you would think that. But you know who it is? You? No, no. It's Heston.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "He reeks like he went on a three-day fishing trip, then ate licorice.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "No, thanks, Mom!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "It's not my baby.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Don't let me leave without the name of that carpet guy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Then I'll be so drunk, I'll want to call Janice. You should! How is she?", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Would you believe me if I said I was Kirk Douglas?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "I'm a cop who won't work with you because you're a loose cannon.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Every actor thinks he stinks. Even Laurence Olivier sometimes thought he stank. Bob Redford won't even watch himself.", "c": ["Charlton Heston"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "You must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?", "c": ["Charlton Heston"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Thanks to you, the hottest waitress is quitting to teach the third grade!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "It's Joshua. He doesn't like 'Josh'? No, I don't.", "c": ["Rachel", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "You know what girls are good at? Stripping! No, listening!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "I liked that fighter pilot one. Candy? She was so spunky!", "c": ["Monica", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "I stuck that dollar in her G-string and grazed her thigh...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Phase three! I just achieved phase three!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "I am totally picturing you with all those women!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Are we all together in a group?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "I don't want a relationship ever! I just want sex with strippers and my friends!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Emily is... incredible. There are no words to describe her. The whole weekend was like a dream.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "You are going to take off my clothes. You two, go get the oils. And you, just constantly scream... 'Chandler's the king! Chandler's the king!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "Pay attention. I could wake up at any moment.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "I'm Joshua. I'm here to pick up Rachel. That's not Joshua. What do you want from me? I never met the guy.", "c": ["Chandler", "Unknown", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Joeys Dirty Day"}, {"t": "You said there were gonna be other guys. There are no other guys. - Chandler, there's a guy right over there. - That's a mailman.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Chandler, don't worry. This doesn't make you any less of a guy. That does. What am I sitting on?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Heh. I'd hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Joey, let me ask you a question. This has been driving me crazy. - What does this light switch do? - Oh, nothing.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Didn't it drive you crazy to not know what it did? I know what it did. Nothing.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "They wouldn't have put it there if it didn't do something. - How can you not care? - Like this:", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Do you know what that little silver knob on the toilet does? - Sure. It flushes it. - Okay, good. Now, since you know, when you come over, would you mind actually using it?", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "[SCREAMS] MONICA: Oh, my God. Wow. - Guess who we ran into today?", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm riding the alimony pony.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "And there it is.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "- Bye. Bye. - Bye. Bye. - Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye. - Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Oh.", "c": ["All"], "jt": ["escalation", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "What? I thought you were crazy about her. You know all those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? You know, like her voice and her laugh and her personality?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "My ass is, like, frozen. Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes.", "c": ["Emily", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "No, it's really not that bad. I mean, I, for one, feel perfectly safe. [LIAM & DEVON SHOUTING AND LAUGHING] Help! Help! Help!", "c": ["Emily", "Ross", "Liam", "Devon"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "That was a good one, huh? I was like, 'Help! Help!'", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Well, actually, the last time you and I saw each other was the next morning. Ha, ha. Oh, Liam. Heh. Oh, Liam.", "c": ["Liam", "Emily", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "So, what, were you guys playing soccer or something? Or should I call it... [IN BRITISH ACCENT] ...'football'? Uh...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Ha, ha. Ross play rugby? I don't think so. Heh. What? What's so funny about that?", "c": ["Emily", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Well, I mean, you're American, to start with. You don't really have rugby here. Heh. Well, we didn't have freedom here until 1776 either, so...", "c": ["Emily", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Oh, boy. I just love to sing. Yes, I know that you do. One of the reasons people were complaining... ...was because most of the people had paid to hear the actor sing 'Old Man River.'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Oh, look at us. Who would've thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails?", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Right. But I just think this is happening too soon. Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it, honey, I am not letting you get away this time.", "c": ["Chandler", "Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? Yemen.", "c": ["Chandler", "Janice"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "But I do know it's sometime tomorrow.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "I bet I stopped listening before you did. You know, you also could have used lamps... ...and then followed the light. Yeah, well, I'm using noise. Okay?", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "It's coming from Joey. Oh, my God. That's so freaky. Turn him off.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Dude, you're not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "And Yemen. That actually sounds like a real country.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "- Joey, trade lives with me. - Nope.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Oh, please, Ross. You got hurt playing badminton with my dad. That's because your mom's dog kept looking at me.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Okay, Ross, look, look, look. Right here, it's called a 'scrum,' okay? - It's kind of like a huddle. - And is a hum kind of like a scruddle?", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Well, you should've seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, he's like Joe Rugby. You're kidding. And he plays rugby? That's so funny.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "All right, come on. Look, Ross can take care of himself. It's not like he's Chandler. CHANDLER: Thanks.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "I'll be that guy, right outside the circle.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, maybe there was a dog looking at him.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "They don't look any bigger than me. That's because you're closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Okay, I know what I've gotta do. I've gotta go Red Ross. You know, Red Ross? Totally don't know what you're talking about.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "That time that we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves... ...and that one guy cut in front of us, and I just lost it? Huh? Screamed at him, turned all red. Red Ross! No.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "[ROSS SCREAMING]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Joey!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "He asked you out? - No. But I was showing him some cuff links, and I felt his pulse. Saucy.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours. Wow. If only more people knew.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Hi. I need a fake ticket to Yemen. - One ticket to Yemen? - Oh, no, no, no. I just need a pretend ticket.", "c": ["Chandler", "Airline Agent"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with? Are you traveling with a child? No.", "c": ["Chandler", "Airline Agent"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Uh, sir, a ticket to Yemen is $2100, and we don't take library cards.", "c": ["Airline Agent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "No offense, but sometimes it's hard to understand you... ...you know, with the accent, so...", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game. - Right. - Do me a favor? Grab me a bottle of water? - Yeah. - Thanks. - I think I'm dying. I really do.", "c": ["Ross", "Emily", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Tell my son that I love him.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "What? No. No, I'm not stopping. I'm Red Ross. Dude, you go back out there, you're gonna be Dead Ross.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "God, no. That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Real...? I could use that. Trick hip, no cup. Okay, okay.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "But Liam's on my team. - I don't care. You just get him. - Go get him.", "c": ["Ross", "Emily", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "What are these? Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought they'd brighten up the place. They do, don't you think?", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "I know that there's no hole there. I just really like that picture.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "[GASPS] But it didn't. - Say hello to Mrs. Catrokis. RACHEL: Oh, my God. WOMAN: Hello, darling.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey", "Rachel", "Mrs. Catrokis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Look, your eye's still popping out a little. I'm gonna go get some ice. - Okay. - Ooh, ice, yeah. I'm so in the mood for ice.", "c": ["Emily", "Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I haven't done that since I was 4 and I washed my dad's Porsche with rocks.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "You know what? You know what? It's not.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Well, just until we find an energy source to replace fuel.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "15 Yemen Road, Yemen.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Well, then I guess I'm going to Yemen. I'm going to Yemen. When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?", "c": ["Chandler", "Janice"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "See? I'm doing it. I am totally doing it. I lost it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The One With All The Rugby"}, {"t": "Cereal killer. / Cereal killer? / Hey, come on, I say more dumb things before 9 a.m... than most people say all day.", "c": ["Unknown Character 1", "Unknown Character 2"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cake. Oh, cake!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "It's me. It's Phoebe. Listen, there's something in here I want to eat.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Yes. Yes. Yes. I can't believe it. The baby wants bologna. The baby wants meat. I can't eat meat.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Joshua, give me a call sometime. Guys like you... never go out of style.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "We went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs at the museum. / Without me?", "c": ["Monica", "Ross", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "I don't know how museums work in England, but here, you're not supposed to take stuff.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "I got it from the gift shop. / They have really lax security there.", "c": ["Emily", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "It's a joke. / Anyone for more tea? / No, just me then. / Hey, Ringo.", "c": ["Emily", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Every time Emily's around, you talk like her. Would you please cut it out? / I think you like it. / I think you can't resist me when I do it.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "You want to eat me up like a cream 'pumpy.' / What? / All right, look, I don't know all the words.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Right. I've got to be off. I'll see you. Bye-bye, then. / Bye-bye, then.", "c": ["Emily", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "When I'm with her, I'm fun! I do things like run off to Vermont... and you guys saw the doorknob.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Hey, that's what all my relationships are like. / Yes, but in Ross' case, they both know in two weeks that's it.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Maybe that's because soy burgers suck. / But I'm no obstetrician....", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "That's sweat. You throw up all morning, you'll have that glow too.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "It's comfortable. You could really flash somebody in this.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Why not? / Well, because... we get a lot of... / They ruin it for everybody.", "c": ["Joshua", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Congratulations. So do you love her?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "What was that? / Just an anti-theft device. / Then what's this? / You need that too, because a thief could just tear this up.", "c": ["Joshua", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "That sucks. Nobody's ever thrown me a bon-voyage-Emily party.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "As much as I'd like to meet Josh and warn him...", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Surprise! / No one's thrown me a surprise party before. / Well, it was all Ross' idea.", "c": ["Everyone", "Emily", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "You're so sweet. / And I'm so surprised.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "You didn't know?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Quick! He's looking. Say something funny. / Like what? / What's so funny? / I said, 'Like what?' / Now that's a thinker.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Joshua"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Care for a cherry? / No, thanks. / I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joshua"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "You okay? / You all right?", "c": ["Joshua", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Actually, American surprise parties are very short. It's usually, 'Surprise!' Then, 'My God, I'm so surprised. Bye!'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Your sister told me that you used to dress up like old ladies... and host make-believe tea parties.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Did she tell you that when she was little... she was partially responsible for new legislation... regulating the strength of swing sets?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Then what are you going to put on top of that? / A little salami. / Oh, yeah. / What goes on top of the salami? / Pastrami. / You're a genius.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "You changed? / I decided I needed my lucky dress. / Lucky means more cleavage? / It does for me.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "This scene in Footloose- / Flashdance. / Yeah. With that plumber girl? / A welder.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Were you, like, in the movie?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Or you could use mistletoe. / It's not Christmas. / Spin-the-bottle. / He's not 11.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "You can't leave yet. You have to stay. We've got the whole big thing planned. / What big thing? / Spin-the-bottle works like this: I spin the bottle.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joshua", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Welcome to America.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Two in a row! You gotta use your tongues now.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "What are the odds? / That's enough!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Story of my life. / Story of my father's life.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "The baby just kicked! / It's okay. It's okay. If it kicked once, it'll kick again! / Everybody just remember where they were sitting.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "It was a bug.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "You know why I'm never gonna eat meat? Because it's cold-blooded murder.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "There's a Phoebe on my sandwich!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "You know when you're dating someone... and you don't want to cheat unless it's with someone really hot? / Totally. / This is the same kind of deal.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "If you're gonna do something wrong... do it right.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "I'm trying to get Emily out of here, and you keep talking to her... being all interesting and making her laugh. I don't want you to be funny anymore.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "From now on, I'm gonna be funny sometimes, and not funny others.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Six more months, three meals a day. I am going to eat, like, you know, millions of cows. / Mommy cows, daddy cows, baby cows / No. No, I will never eat baby cows. No veal! / Oh, but veal.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "What if I even things out for you, meat-wise? / What? / I eat a lot of meat, right? But suppose, until the baby's born, I laid off it. / No extra animals would die. You'd be eating my animals.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "There's no meat in beer, right?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Rachel is going to put on a skit.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Have you lost your mind? / I am finally thinking clearly.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "My lucky dress wasn't working out too well for me. But for four years, this baby never missed.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Nice costume.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Give me an 'E'! Give me an 'M'! Give me an 'I'! Give me an 'L'! Give me a 'Y'! What do you get? Emily! Emily!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "That's me as a cheerleader!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "I loosened a tooth. It's no big deal. I have a dentist.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "What do I do now? / I think you're done. / Time to take off the bra.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "That was really great. But I gotta take off. / Take the bra off.", "c": ["Joshua", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Rachel's my girlfriend.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "This used to be my bedroom. A lot of memories in here. Lot of memories.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "If these walls could talk, they'd say: 'Want to hear some memories?'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "God! Forget it!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "I don't wear suits to work. And I bought six of them from you.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "But- / No 'but.' 'But' is never good. Let's leave it at 'l like you and you like me.' / Okay. However- / No, that's a fancy 'but.'", "c": ["Joshua", "Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "If it makes you feel any better, I made a fool of myself. / Helps a little.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser? / Have a seat.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "And you're sitting here in a hallway... with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "What photo album was it? / I don't know. It was you and a bunch of albino kids.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Those weren't albino kids. That was computer camp!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "You're a pathetic loser, right? / Oh, yeah. / Sit!", "c": ["Monica", "Joshua"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "I love that 'but.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Every time.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "What do you got there? / Pastrami. / You know what goes good with that? / Corned beef. / I was going to say bologna. But that's better.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "How about that smoked turkey? / Okay. / Oh, mama!", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "When is the baby due? / Six months.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "If a cow died of natural causes, I could have one of those, right? / Not if I get there first.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Fake Party"}, {"t": "Maybe he found your flip-flop.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Maybe we shouldn't pay our phone bill. Free phone sex. Maybe we shouldn't pay our gas bill.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Hey, that lady's all kinds of naked.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Finding money with naked people on it! But I made the mistake of turning off the TV. I never got it back again. And I'm sad.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Why would he turn off the TV?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "And no one touches the air around the TV.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Imagine a protective porn bubble, if you will.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "We still have porn.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "I need a job with a smaller table. Or a job without a table. You mean, like a doctor?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "You're blocking the porn!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "You must feel horrible. Hey, the guys have free porn.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Don't do the accent. It really bums me out.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Is that why you hung out with that Ukrainian kid in school?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Yeah, plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "I am a good kisser. Then you two can sneak into the cockpit.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "I've been watching too much porn.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Let's take care of this one. If I get pregnant again, I have your card.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "You guys were worried I wouldn't even have one.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "It'll be like one of those log rides when they come shooting out.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "What do you know? Have you ever had triplets? No. I'm sorry, I haven't. I'm going to use this a lot.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "You know how, when you're walking down the street... and you see three people in a row. And you say 'Oh, that's nice.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "I've finally got my band!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "No, back to happy. Back to happy!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "It'll be like my very own little sweatshop.", "c": ["Alice"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "You're in college? Refrigerator college.", "c": ["Monica", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "And I love refrigerators.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Three kids and no money.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "That's a big candy bar.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Thank you.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "It's no problem.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "It's the theme from Good Will Humping.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Yeah, he likes porn.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "To find out if he really thinks models are too skinny.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Frank has to quit college... because his super-fertile sister's having three babies.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "But I can get you free White-Out.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "She said, 'Thank you.' I said, 'I love you.' And she said, 'Thank you.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "She already lives in London.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "So you go to Tokyo.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "You're over! What? You know.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Good one.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Then we'd be the guys who turned off free porn.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Look, I'm going to have a kid someday. Okay? And someday that kid is going to ask me if I ever turned off free porn. I don't wanna have to tell him that I did.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Did you ever asked you dad that? I don't want to talk about it.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Don't you hate to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Pregnant woman slays four?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "What's that? My Saturn dealership.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "When you say 'still around,' you mean still around like you might be in a relationship... or still around like you might have died waiting for the phone to ring?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "I missed and hit the door. But it opened really hard.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "I made fun of his accent. You sat back and let him have her. You didn't fight. I just told you, I made fun of him behind his back.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "It's like a snake pit. That could be you and Emily. That but nicer.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Can you pick me up one of those Toblerone bars at the airport?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "A place that no one will get out of alive?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "It's a Relaxi-Taxi!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "You came up with Relaxi-Cab. That's not good.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "It's not Relaxi-Cab. It's Relaxi-Cab. Like Taxi-Cab. That is better.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "I was right! I'm right, right?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Yes, Joey, you can have all the chocolate you want.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Mrs. Newman, if you're listening, bugger off. None of your business.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Thank you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "I was just at the bank. There was this really hot teller... and she didn't ask me to do it with her in the vault.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "No 'Nice apartment, bet the bedrooms are huge'? Nothing!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Free porn! We have free porn!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "Don't worry, I won't let the other two know.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Free Porn"}, {"t": "It is true what they say: Pregnant bellies look like a drum.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "I'm so pregnant that my guitar doesn't fit anymore. So I'm going to play my songs on this drum.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Smelly cat, smelly cat / What are they feeding you? (played on belly drum)", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "That sounds great! I know! And I've only been playing for an hour.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Don't tell me you want to keep more stuff in my uterus.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Frank Jr., Jr. / Wouldn't that be Frank III? / Don't get me started.", "c": ["Frank Jr. Jr.", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "That's so nice! Cougar.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Mommy can have a wife. Daddy can have a bra.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "What can we do in 17 minutes... twice? / Well, that's ambitious.", "c": ["Ross", "Emily"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "You can ignore that. That's your son. Believe me, when he's older, he'll understand.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Look at you two bonding. Making us late for the airport. / It's just us getting along is difficult for him... because he doesn't like me. / Come on. That's... / It's true.", "c": ["Ross", "Susan", "Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "You know? Like... Exxon! / It certainly worked for that Valdez kid.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "You want a strong name? How about The Hulk?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "I'm not sure about Hulk, but I like a name starting with 'The'.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "You want a good name, go with Joey. Joey's your pal, your buddy. Where is everybody? They're hanging out with Joey!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Chandler will be there too. He might be a little late... but he'll be there. And he'll bring you cold soda... if what you need him for is that you're really hot.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "All right, I don't... Maybe I'll just name him The Hulk.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "I shouldn't have mentioned it. I wanted to name my kid that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "It creeps me out choosing other people's sex clothes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Then you realized if you bitched, then you would stop cooking... and you would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "I really get crabby when I cook.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Turns out that Emily is just crazy about Susan. They're going to the theater together. They're going to dinner. They're going horseback riding! God, Susan is so fun!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Two women... stretching! They take a steam, things get playful. Didn't you see 'Personal Best'?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "No, but I'm gonna!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Yeah, definitely. I don't like the name Ross.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "What a weird way to kick me when I'm down!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Something like this would never happen to The Hulk, you know.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "You know... Never mind. My girlfriend's a lesbian.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Joey Buttafucco. Yeah, that guy really hurt us.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "How about a compromise then? What if it's... Chan-no-ey?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Joey? Think about it. He'll never be President. There will never be a President Joey.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Chandler is the stupidest name I've heard in my life! It's not a name! It's barely even a word. It's like chandelier but it's not!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "You're right. I have a horrible, horrible name.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Behind you. They used to live here, and sometimes they migrate back over.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Farm birds really kind of freak me out!", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "All gone. So, farm birds, huh? It's my only weird thing, I swear. I would have told you. I didn't know that they'd be here.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "They're across the hall. That's two doors away. It'll take them a long time to peck their way back over here.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "That's not funny.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "They can smell the fear.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "I asked if he wanted to eat. He said no. I asked if he wanted to sleep. He said no. I asked what he wanted to do. He said no. So he's sweeping.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Carol, so were we.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "I didn't really believe it until you just said it!", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "None of the other kids believed me, but I swear that duck pushed me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "It would have been, but my parents just moved here. You should know this place is a real babe magnet.", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "We cut the trip short. France sucks! / Yep. Sucks!", "c": ["Joshua's parents"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I know. I can do more than cook.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "I like her. She seems smart.", "c": ["Joshua's mother"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.", "c": ["Joshua's father"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "I work in fashion. And this is a real dress, actually. They're wearing it in Milan. Part of my job is to wear the clothes and see how people respond.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Obviously, in this case... I am going to report back: 'U.S.A. Not ready.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "No use wasting this baby just lying around the house.", "c": ["Joshua's father"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "We'll be eating and, of course, you'll be wearing that.", "c": ["Joshua's mother"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Nope, you're right. It is a ridiculous name! / Yes, it is! From now on, I have no first name.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "You're just Bing?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Okay, for now, temporarily, you can call me... Clint.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "No way are you cool enough to pull off 'Clint'. / What name am I cool enough to pull off? / Gene.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "What's up with Gene?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "I jumped up and my boob popped out. It's all right. I got nice boobs.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "She and Susan are going to a poetry reading together. / So? / Poetry? Susan's gay. They're being gay together!", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "She turned you into this untrusting, crazy, jealous... sycophant!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "So I don't know what 'sycophant' means, but the rest is right.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "So up until '92, '93, he was very trusting. Then '94 hit, Carol left him, and bam! Paranoid City!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "This is so fun!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "The '92 Ross wouldn't.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Well, you know what? I hope Emily is a lesbian.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Am I a Mark or a John? / You're not tall enough to be a Mark. But you might make a good Barney.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "So tomorrow, I'll either be Mark Johnson or John Markson.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "You've got problems because of you, not your name!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "This has got to stop! Chandler is a great name. In fact... I'm going to name the baby Chandler.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Nice luggage. / I was going to say.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "No tongue.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Rachels New Dress"}, {"t": "Hey! Do you have to do that? It's Saturday!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "I hate this apartment! I hate this wall color! I hate that it still smells like bird!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "I hate that singing guy! Are you kidding? I love that guy!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Stop it! I will kill you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "You don't even have a bed. You sleep in a ball on the floor!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "It's a great apartment! Shut up! This place is a hole!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "I know, I know. Who am l? David Bowie?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "He does that? I don't know. Whatever.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "When I'm with you, I'm like...this whole other guy. I love that guy! I mean, I love you too. A lot. But that guy! I love that guy!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "So? Then you could stay as long as you want.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "I don't want to leave it till last. Last time, I left my knickers here.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know. I tried them on. You didn't! No, I didn't. I didn't want to be 'that guy.'", "c": ["Ross", "Emily"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Pheebs, those are Santa pants.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Santa Claus' pants. No. They're maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. See?", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "These names are good, and these are bad.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "So, how are the elves?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Your clothes aren't funny.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "What should I wear to a Knicks game? A T-shirt that says, 'l Don't Belong Here'?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "I could slip Woody Allen my resume.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Oh, I didn't see that coming.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Not stupid. You're meaner than I thought.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Your 'bachelor pad'? Have you even had a girl here?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "No. But Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Gunther, can I get two cups of chino, please? Good one.", "c": ["Joey", "Gunther"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, my dad's company gave season tickets...to the No. 1 salesman every year. My dad never won. Of course, he wasn't in sales. But still, I never forgot that!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "You do know that Wham broke up?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Don't try and talk all normal with that thing in your ear.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "I've got a carton of milk in my fridge I've had a longer relationship with.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "And I love the milk! But I won't ask some British girl to move in with me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Joey, you say things now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Just remember to wake us up before you go-go.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "The timing's perfect! I just clogged the toilet!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Ever read Flowers for Algernon?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Ever read Sports Illustrated?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "No, I didn't read yours!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Screw the Knicks! I didn't mean that. I just meant that...the apartment is worth so much more. And the Knicks rule.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "What if you could keep the apartment and the tickets? Done! Let me finish. I'm talking about a bet. Winner takes all.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Come on, man! You know I'd do it for you. Because you're my best friend. All right. But you can't use that again for a whole year.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "We should let Phoebe decide...because she's the only one who's impartial, and she's so pretty.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "I have a game! This is great! What's the game? It doesn't have a name. No, okay. Phoebe Ball! No, it doesn't have a name.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "What is your favorite thing about trees? They're green? Good! Five points!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Same question. They're tall. Three points!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy. Leafy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "That's not even a game. Shut up. We're winning!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Four. That's a low one!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "You look. I can't do it. What makes you think I can?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Why are you hugging? We won our apartment back! What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace! No! Ace is low! Ace, two, three, four!", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Come on, apartment! Come on, apartment!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "We pick again! We pick again! Why? I don't know.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "What are they so mad about? They got the apartment back. No, they didn't.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Move in with me? What?", "c": ["Ross", "Emily"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "I always hear about them foreigners stealing American jobs. That could be you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "I was with Carol for four years before we got married...and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "It's a bit small. Damn! I thought that'd be romantic as hell.", "c": ["Emily", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Let us keep the apartment and...as a thank you...Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Totally worth it! That was one good minute!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Can you believe something that stupid actually got us our apartment back?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "If you had just done that after the last contest...no one would have had to move at all.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Let's pretend that's not true.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Oh, are you pregnant too?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Monica and Rachel made out.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The One With All The Haste"}, {"t": "Gunther offers unwanted advice: 'You don't need to fill these silences.' Character awkwardly thanks him.", "c": ["Gunther", "Rachel"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Chandler creates a fake clinic: 'Quit-being-a-baby-and-leave-me-alone' clinic", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Monica's boyfriend rolling her over to stop snoring leads to 'Oh, yeah!' suggestive reaction", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Monica clarifies her disbelief about Ross's engagement: 'Because it's so fast. Not because you're a loser.'", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Joey's attempt at 'whipped' sound effect: 'Wah-pah!'", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Chandler demonstrates proper whip sound, Joey insists 'That's what I did'", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Chandler's frustrated response: 'You can't do anything!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Ross patronizingly tells Rachel 'You just hang in there' about finding love", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Rachel declares her relationship with Joshua 'kind of like it's a tie' with Ross and Emily", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Rachel mutters 'You hang in there' mockingly after Ross leaves", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Monica's dark wedding observation: 'About half of these will end up getting divorced'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Rachel fully commits to wedding dress fantasy: 'I am, aren't I?' when called beautiful bride", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Chandler's escalating snoring rage: 'You are going to a clinic! And a pajama store!'", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Chandler explains he doesn't dance at weddings because of how he looks when dancing", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Chandler demonstrates his terrible dancing", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Phoebe's random overshare: 'Hey, that's the day after I start menstruating!'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Rachel suggests she and Joshua aren't 'crazy enough' as relationship improvement", "c": ["Rachel", "Joshua"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Rachel's impulsive marriage proposal: 'What if we got married?'", "c": ["Rachel", "Joshua"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Joshua's awkward rejection: 'Rachel... you're... a real... special lady'", "c": ["Joshua"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Rachel's self-aware outburst: 'You idiot!' after Joshua leaves", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Chandler's pickup line at sleep clinic: 'I talk in my sleep.' 'I listen in my sleep.'", "c": ["Chandler", "Marjorie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Monica's meta-commentary: 'My big concern is what's real?' about properly throwing bouquet", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Mutual recognition: 'We're really sad, aren't we?' 'Yeah, I think we are.'", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Phoebe's dress rental reveal: 'At least you didn't rent yours from a store called \"It's Not Too Late.\"'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Monica's continued fantasy commitment: 'I'm getting married!'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Monica's fashion despair: 'I hate my regular clothes now'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Chandler's deadpan explanation for getting the girl: 'Joey was unconscious.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Joey wearing anti-snoring device and claiming 'It tastes good'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Rachel's confession to Joshua's answering machine about not being crazy", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Ross's confusion: 'I don't know if we're going to be hungry at three' when Rachel means three people", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Rachel's explanation for Joshua breakup: 'Apparently, he scares easy'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Rachel's declaration: 'I got my girls' when Ross offers comfort", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Phoebe's optimistic career advice: 'Maybe someday there will be' a job wearing wedding dresses", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Wedding dress superstition panic: 'The groom cannot see the bride' when Chandler arrives", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Monica's practical clarification: 'I'm not going to marry Chandler. Not after this!'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "Chandler's confused 'I do!' response when they frantically tell him not to look", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The One With All The Wedding Dresses"}, {"t": "If I died, people would know I was here only by the ass print on this chair!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Not something stupid. Something huge!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "It's just steep!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "It'd be nice to leave an ass print on Everest", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "And you would die.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "While we're at the video store, we could rent Die Hard!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "But one of these days we'll get off our butts and rent Die Hard again!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "We'll say that Ben addressed them", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "I wouldn't be comfortable having any of my old lovers there", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "And I just want a million dollars!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "I knew. / You did? / I figured you thought I was Monica's geeky brother. / I did.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Try not to let my intense vulnerability become a factor", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "It's never gonna happen", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Actually, it's not so much a question. It's more of a general wondering-ment", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Listen, missy! If you want this cart, you'll have to take me with it!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "I don't need your stupid ship!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "A break from us", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Don't answer! / You wanted to talk about it. How was she?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Once a cheater, always a cheater", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "WE WERE ON A BREAK!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "You're sitting here in a hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Handkerchief? No, I got my invitation", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "So I didn't know that. But you should see your faces", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Because I already bought my ticket", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Remember when he fell in love with Carol and got her that expensive crystal duck?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "No, you hang up. You! / You didn't hang up! / She didn't hang up either", "c": ["Ross", "Julie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "and your cat", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "When were you under me?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "No, you just rolled over the juice box", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "And hey! Just so you know, it's not that common. It doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "So how many cameras are actually on you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "Looking good, Mr. Kotter!", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "See? He's her lobster!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "And your license expired", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "It's better! You can't go to a museum in your underwear. / You could, but just the one time.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "I bet the British version is good!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Invitation"}, {"t": "That was the 10th time I've peed since I've been here. It's also, like, the 10th time you've told us. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Yeah, oh, I'm sorry, it must be hard to hear. I'll tell you, it's easier having babies playing 'Bring in 'da Noise, Bring in 'da Funk' on your bladder.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "I am so sick of being pregnant. The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee which of course is decaf because, oh, I'm pregnant.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "So, uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming? I haven't really had any yet.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Yes, yes. A thousand times, yes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Oh, it's awkward. It's awkward, it's awkward.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "You can be the best man when I get married. I'm never gonna get to be a best man.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "I'm not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science-fiction writers.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Yes. Shame about you, though.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "It's not kicking me. It's kicking one of the other babies. Oh. Don't make me come in there!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Hormones. What Phoebe meant was how come you're having a party and we're not invited?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Are you bachelors? No. Are you strippers? No. Then you're not invited.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Wow. That so doesn't sound like something I want to do. Later.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "I can't believe I'm going to have a party! Ha, ha. That's so great. A party! Yay! Ha, ha. [CRYING]", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "And I'm invite Gunther because, well, we've been talking pretty loud. I'll be there.", "c": ["Joey", "Gunther"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Just the dinosaur dudes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Okay, we'll need a six-pack of Zima.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "I don't think it's gonna be that difficult, considering this one won't take place in the basement of a Pizza Hut. Oh, I'm Ross, I'm Ross. I'm too good for the Hut. I'm too good for the Hut.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "There's gonna be strippers there. He didn't say anything about no strippers.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "He just said, 'No strippers.' Oh. I chose not to hear that.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Little Village People.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Except, uh, Phoebe's not gonna be the one who gets to dress them. I guess she's not gonna get to keep the babies.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, we are throwing the most depressing baby shower.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Oh, and somebody can get her those leather pants she's always wanted.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "You actually thought it'd make me feel better? To give me something I can't even use for another two months? This sucks! Oh!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "What's my last name? Central Perk?", "c": ["Ross", "Gunther"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Thanks for not marrying Rachel.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "And, uh, you know, so is the position of the bride.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Smooth, man. Yeah. You got some chili on your neck.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Watch this. Stare at the wall. Hardly move. Be white.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "You are really good at that.", "c": ["Stripper"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Stripper.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "You lost the ring. You're the worst best man ever.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "You slept with the stripper? Of course!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Well, how is this like that? Well, let's see. It's not really like that. Because, you see, that was an actual problem.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "And, uh, yours is just, like, a bunch of high-school crap that nobody really gives... Yeah.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "If this isn't an emergency, then what is?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Yeah, and another one had never been to a party before, so...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "That ring, when my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "So you might say it's a magic ring.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Yeah, the stripper stole it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Well, I think it all started when you said, 'Hey, Joey, why don't you be my best man.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Dude, I screwed up. You don't have to turn me in. Not on you, on the stripper.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "I said, 'You talk to the police, you tell them I'm missing a ring.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Oh, that sounds like fun, but we got a ring to find!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Well, you can't have the baby here! I haven't sterilized the apartment since the guys moved out!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "You know what? It's okay. I'm gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "The Bible? I don't know!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "You be Mr. Gonzales, and I'll be Mr. Wong. Diverse.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Which one of you guys is Gunther Central Perk?", "c": ["Stripper"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Way to be cool, man.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Okay, Who are you, the Hardy Boys?", "c": ["Stripper"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "I make $1,600 a week doing what I do. Any of you guys make that? Marry me.", "c": ["Stripper", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Shh. We're trying to think.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Well, do you see any babies?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Some moms do that. Yeah, that's even sadder.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Just kidding. Ah! Oh, my God. Got you again. You're so easy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "He's such a good duck.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Somebody lose a ring? Aah!", "c": ["Veterinarian", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "What a baby. Total wuss.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Worst Best Man Ever"}, {"t": "Hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! In London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Six-hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "What have you got there? Condoms, dude. Well, how come the writing is in spanish? Don't read my condoms.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "-Who are you saying 'check' to? -Myself. For remembering to pack a thing. You do a good thing, you get a 'check.'", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Mom does it. I never realized it was weird. My mom used to put her head in the oven.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Actually, only the one time. But it's pretty weird.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Got your passport? Third drawer of my dresser. You don't want to lose that!", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Let's do it. Cheerio! London, baby! That's not gonna get annoying. London, baby! You know what? I was wrong.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I want to go over and hug you and wish you luck, but I can't get up. -I'll come hug you. -Great, can you bring me the paper?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Chandler, I want to hug you too! You might as well bring my book from your apartment.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Here you go, Phoebe! Phoe-bo! Phoo-ba-la!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "London, baby!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, God! Do you need a hug? You don't have to bring me anything.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Do something! I am. I'm ignoring you.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "If you see a little version of me in there, kill it!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, up yours too! -What? -Oh, that's not what it means. -No! That's 'time out.' -Sorry.", "c": ["Ross", "Emily"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "And you wouldn't worry about the salmonella. But of course...with salmon you would have to worry about the chicknella.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "They tore it down early.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Hands down, best abbey I ever seen.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "It's great! They're thinking of changing the name. -To what? -To 'Put the Camera Away'!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Man, you are Westminster Crabby.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Sorry. Lucky this dress is red.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "What should be the most wonderful day of my life is rapidly turning into just Sunday with a spectacular amount of food.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Okay, I have a wedgie. That is all you.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Don't be so hard on yourself. If I was still in love with some\u2014 Still in love with? I'm not in love with Ross.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him. Oh, my God!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "It would be like telling Monica: 'Hey, you like things clean.' Or, you know, 'Hey, Joey, you're gay.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "What? Oh, please, she's always got a broom in her hand.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I won't need that 'I'm with stupid' T-shirt anymore.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "How can I answer when I'm pretending I don't know you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "If you make me choose between you and the hat, I choose the hat.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "How are you doing? Joey Tribbiani, America.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Do you think my sister's teeny, tiny, little brain comprehends...that people took time out of their lives...to fly thousands of miles to be here?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Don't you point your pants at me!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Manhattan doesn't have enough stores.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Only if you have the hiccups too.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "The chocolate and water are for me. I didn't feel like getting up.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "His hair never bothered me that much. It was more crunchy than it was greasy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, I like you less.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Me too. -Yeah? -No! I had the best day ever!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "That's Fergie, baby!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! You're even dumber than I am.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "That's what we did. We dreamed about the perfect wedding. In the perfect place. With the perfect four-tiered wedding cake. With the little people on top.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "That pillowcase thing, I thought you were doing The Flying Nun. Sometimes we were.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I'll get it. Pheebs, it's Joey. Hey, Joey! I saw someone that looks just like you on the subway. I was going to say hi, then I figured he doesn't care he looks like you.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Who's seven? Me, Rachel...the birds, the babies. The babies miss me? Of course they do, or I'm just really hungry.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Two pizzas? -Gotta go! Talk to you later. -Wait! Where did you get it from?", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Then we'll get wet. I don't even have a date.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "You're going because you hope he'll say: 'I love you too. Forget the British chippy.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "No, it's not over until someone says, 'I do.' I do! I do!", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Like I can really chase you. I'm carrying a litter!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "First one identifies oneself...and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak. What are you saying? Now, let us try that again, shall we? No! Oh, my God!", "c": ["British Housekeeper", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "So if you don't give me that number, I'm gonna come over there...and I'm gonna kick your snooty ass all the way to New Gloukenshire!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "She knew I could kick her ass.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Jack, that's what they call the subway. -I thought -Dad, we got it.", "c": ["Jack Geller", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "She's very self-involved. I should never have married her. -It's the Gellers. -Where? That's one and that's another one.", "c": ["Steven Waltham", "Andrea Waltham"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "A joke that's funny in all countries.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "That's not food.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I can't even remember what Phoebe looks like!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "You're mean in England!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "How about five? Thank you.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ticket Agent"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "And I have a 20.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Why am I always pregnant when she does that?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I thought things were going to work out for him, until the day he over-inflated her.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I got it from your maid. She's a bitch, but I wore her down.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies. Am I on the radio?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "To think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. Come on, Monty Hall! Let's Make a Deal. Come on, you people!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "But not as much as I love America.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Out loud? I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "My God! You must have been a teenager when you had him.", "c": ["British man", "Judy Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "you thieving, would-be-speaking-German-if-it-weren't-for-us, cheap little man!", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Please! I'm a single mom with a 30-year-old son.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm getting married today!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Or perhaps slip you one.", "c": ["British airplane passenger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, I've never done that with you before.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Could you not look? I don't want to look.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "So tell me about this girl.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "This is a terrible, terrible plan. -But he has to know how I feel. -But why?", "c": ["British passenger", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break.", "c": ["British passenger"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "What? We gotta find her. Rachel's coming to tell Ross she loves him. -Oh, my God! -I know. Do you know where Monica is? No. What's with the third degree? Why not just shine a light in my eyes?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "You can let some of them go by.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "There's nothing to discuss. We're not paying for your wine cellar. You have to meet me in the middle here. My foot's gonna meet the middle of your ass.", "c": ["Jack Geller", "Steven Waltham"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I could kill you with my thumb, you know.", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I just came to...I just needed to tell you...congratulations.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm at the front with Ross. It's Phoebe! He looks pretty mad. I better go.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "What we did last night was -Stupid. Totally crazy, stupid. What were we thinking? I'm coming over tonight though, right? Definitely.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "I, Ross...take thee, Emily...take thee, Rachel\u2014 Emily.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Shall I go on?", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "Why, what's the matter?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Rosss Wedding"}, {"t": "And, by the way, that is not how one addresses a person on the telephone. First one identifies oneself...and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.", "c": ["British Housekeeper"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "[IN BRITISH ACCENT] Um, this is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please...if it's not too much trouble, please...um, might I speak with Miss Emily Waltham, please?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "And it is not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.", "c": ["British Housekeeper"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "So give me that number or I'll come over there...and I'll kick your snooty ass all the way to New Gloukenshire!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Ooh, she knew I could kick her ass.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "That's what they call the subway. Oh! I thought... Dad, we got it.", "c": ["Jack", "Judy", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "She's self-involved. I should never have married her.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Sorry, what? - It's the Gellers. - Where? - That's one and that's another one.", "c": ["Andrea", "Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "A joke that's funny in all countries.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "That's not food. No, I don't want it. Everything's different here. I want to go home.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I miss my family, the coffeehouse. I can't remember what Phoebe looks like!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Joey, it's been three days. [MOUTHS] Oh.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "You're different here too. You're mean in England!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Flowers, liquor. Re-carpet first floor? New guest bath, landscaping. I'm paying to remodel this house.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Ooh, Jack. Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. [BOTH MOAN]", "c": ["Judy", "Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "And I'll go get drunk.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "The last-minute fare on this ticket is $2700. Ugh. I don't have enough left on my credit card. You can split it with another card. Okay, how about five?", "c": ["Airport Agent", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I don't have it, but I can tell you where it is on my nightstand. You know what? I have my driver's license. And I have a 20.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Face it, my father is not gonna pay for the built-in barbecue. And believe me, you can kiss your gazebo goodbye.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I go back there with lawn ornaments, he'll laugh in my face.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Will you say something, Steven? Don't take that tone with me. All right, you can.", "c": ["Andrea", "Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Why am I always pregnant when she does that?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "This is kind of my little toast, or Melba toast, if you will.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I thought things would work out until he over-inflated her. [CHUCKLES] Oh, dear God!", "c": ["Chandler", "British Guest"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Um, I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Am I on the radio?", "c": ["Mrs. Waltham"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "To think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. Oh, come on, Monty Hall! Let's Make a Deal. Come on, you people!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Home. New York City. Where everybody knows my name.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "But not as much as I love America. Can we please go home now?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I was laughing. Out loud? I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid.", "c": ["Felicity", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "My God! You must have been a teenager when you had him.", "c": ["British Man", "Judy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Fine, but I'm not paying for your wine cellar...you thieving, would-be-speaking-German-if-it-weren't-for-us man!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Earlier, he thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Please! I'm a single mom with a 30-year-old son.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I'm getting married today! Whoo! Heh. Morning. I'm getting married today! Yeah, you are. Woo-hoo!", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Do you think he knew I was here?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Stupid. Hmm. Totally crazy, stupid. What were we thinking? I'm coming over tonight though, right? Oh, yeah, definitely.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Could you not look? I don't want to look.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "If you're planning on doing that the entire flight...please tell me now so that I can take a sedative. Or maybe slip you one.", "c": ["Airplane Passenger"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "It's just, I'm, uh, kind of excited. I'm, um, going to London to, uh, tell this guy that I love him.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is... I don't want to hear it!", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Aw, Pheebs, you know you're still my number one girl.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I've done my part, okay? It's your responsibility now. The burden is off me. Right. So tell me about this girl.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I'm not seeing Monica. What? What?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "What's with the third degree? Why don't you just shine a light in my eyes?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I just want to say that you are a horrible, horrible person.", "c": ["Airplane Passenger"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I have to agree with your friend Pheebs. This is a terrible, terrible plan.", "c": ["Airplane Passenger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "By the way, it seems to be clear you were on a break.", "c": ["Airplane Passenger"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good. Ha! I just hope... You can let some go by.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "You know, uh...sometimes I don't even like Chandler.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Talk New York to me again. Forget about it. How you doing?", "c": ["Felicity", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "We're not paying for your wine cellar. You have to meet me in the middle. My foot will meet the middle of your ass.", "c": ["Jack", "Steven"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "From now on, everyone gets along. And if I hear one more word...no grandchildren! That's right!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I could kill you with my thumb, you know.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Oh! You can't see me before the wedding. It's bad luck. I think we've had all the bad luck we're going to have.", "c": ["Emily", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "I just came to... I just needed to tell you...congratulations.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Did you stop Rachel? But she just hugged him. That's it. Nothing got ruined? No. Oh, that's so great!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Still walking.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "It's Phoebe! He looks pretty mad.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "What we did last night was... Stupid. Hmm. Totally crazy, stupid. What were we thinking? I'm coming over tonight though, right? Oh, yeah, definitely.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Take thee, Rachel... Emily!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.9, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Shall I go on?", "c": ["Pastor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One With Rosss Wedding: Pa"}, {"t": "Ross says 'Take thee, Rachel' instead of 'Take thee, Emily' at his wedding", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.97, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Awkward silence after Ross's mistake, then nervous 'He said Rachel, right?' whispers", "c": ["Wedding guests"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Ross's nervous laugh and 'Like there'd be anybody else' after being told to repeat Emily's name", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "'This is worse than when he married the lesbian'", "c": ["Ross's father"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "'It could've been worse. He could've shot her.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Joey asking 'we still get cake, right?' during the wedding disaster", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Ross's father's sarcastic 'Boy, a bad time to say the wrong name, huh, Ross?' followed by Ross's oblivious 'That's true. Thanks, Dad.'", "c": ["Ross", "Ross's father"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Phoebe pretending to be 'Dr. Phalange, Ross Geller's personal physician' explaining his brain medicine mix-up", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Phoebe getting confused by her own fake identity, saying 'No, not Phoebe. Dr. Phalange. Oh, no. You have it too.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Monica and Chandler's 'Seven times' revelation about their London hookup", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Monica and Chandler's 'only in London' rule immediately followed by planning wine cellar rendezvous", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Monica's string of meaningless business clich\u00e9s: 'Just do the right thing. Tow the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Ross's parents - 'Were we bad parents?' 'Yes.'", "c": ["Ross's parents"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Ross's father complaining about being served steak with no place to sit", "c": ["Ross's father"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Joey justifying eating meat: 'I figured we're in another country, so it doesn't count'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Rachel's 'circus freak' analogy: 'If you'd seen a circus freak, you would've said: I take thee Circus Freak'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "'You spit on me, man' after Ross's emotional outburst about the band", "c": ["Band member"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Chandler's wedding bathroom story about trying to pop the window out to escape", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Monica warning about screaming 'yippee' during sex", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Rachel's obsessed rambling about Ross saying her name meaning he still loves her", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Monica and Chandler's conflicting time estimates - 'five minutes' vs 'fifteen minutes' for changing", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Monica cutting off Chandler's compliment with 'No time for that' then immediately jumping him", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Joey vs Chandler door negotiation: 'Which one of us is gonna be having sex in there? Me or you?' 'Well, I suppose I would have to say you.'", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Monica's 'My Giant' movie excuse - 'we've already paid for it'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Chandler's honeymoon suite anthropomorphization: 'The room expects sex... would be disappointed... other suites would think it was a loser'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Chandler's time math: 'in 45 minutes, you could find her twice'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "'It's a very large plane' as excuse for why they need to leave", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Ross's oblivious 'you don't need to rub my butt' to his concerned friends", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Monica and Chandler's quickie logistics: 'Those doors look pretty soundproof' and risk assessment", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Emily's stepmother calling Ross 'absolutely delicious' while her husband is right there", "c": ["Emily's stepmother"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Joey's existential crisis about never being as good as 'that giant' actor", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Joey's fear of dying 'an unsuccessful, regular-size man'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Phoebe's accusation reveal: 'You ate meat!' 'You had sex!'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Phoebe's pregnancy confusion: 'Oh, this pregnancy is throwing me all off'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Chandler's blunt 'it just meant a lot to me because you're really hot'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Monica's 'I'm still on London time. Does that count?' to justify more sex", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Rachel's sudden 'I get it!' realization at the airport", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Rachel's airplane panic: 'Hey, are we moving? Why are we moving? Does the captain know we're moving?'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "Emily appearing at airport just as plane is leaving, creating the cliffhanger", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Ross Says Rachel"}, {"t": "You look cute in bubbles. / You're just all liquored up.", "c": ["Character A", "Character B"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "I've had a very long, hard day. / Want some chicken?", "c": ["Character A", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "You sure? Some extra-crispy, dirty rice? / For the last time, no! Get out, Joey!", "c": ["Joey", "Character A"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "He kept asking me if I wanted chicken. / Chicken? / I could eat some chicken.", "c": ["Character A", "Character B", "Character C"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Could I get a three-piece, some coleslaw, some beans and a Coke? / Diet Coke.", "c": ["Character A", "Character B"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Was his name Angus? / What? / He was a cabdriver we had in London.", "c": ["Character A", "Phoebe", "Character B"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "The Wheat Sheaf! / And they had that beer... / Boddington's!", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Pheebs was going to tell a story. / So, he had a really funny hat. / I don't want to talk about it.", "c": ["Character A", "Phoebe", "Character B"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Hey Ross! / Boddington's! / Oh, man! / I'd walk back to London for another frosty one of those bad boys.", "c": ["Character A", "Character B", "Ross", "Character C"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "They have them at the British pub by the Trade Center.", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "You abandoned her on a plane to Greece. / I did not 'abandon' Rachel. Okay? Emily showed up at the airport. I had to go after her. I did what I had to do. She's my wife. Rachel is my wife. / Emily! / Emily is my wife.", "c": ["Character A", "Ross", "Character B"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "I can't believe she can outrun you. / Hey! She's fast, okay? You think you can beat me? Let's go! Outside!", "c": ["Character A", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! There was a nice hotel, nice beach, met the nice people.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "One for each day I've known and loved her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "When you make out the card, be sure to make it out to 'Emily'.", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "People came up to me going, 'Mrs. Geller! Why are you cry?'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "London is stupid! Stupid!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I did that for someone once. I'm not comfortable having that power over someone's life.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "I'll do it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Honey, sweetie, by the edges. / Edges! Fingers! Smudgy!", "c": ["Monica", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "That's okay. I know that you're very upset right now. I know that wasn't about me. / I bet it was about her a little.", "c": ["Monica", "Character A"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Look. Gunther.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Say that to him, and you're golden.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "And me. / We've been talking about London too much. / Sorry, it's just because I couldn't be there.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Character A", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "All I get to do now is pregnant stuff. It bums me out.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "What the hell was that? / Probably some European goodbye thing he picked up in London. / That's not European. / It felt French.", "c": ["Character A", "Character B", "Character C", "Character D"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "It came in the mail today. It's 72 long-stemmed, red roses. One for each day I've known and loved Emily... cut up into mulch.", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Monica's going to make potpourri.", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "It's not raining. / I can't catch a break!", "c": ["Character A", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "I dropped some socks.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "You did not drop any socks!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Well, you're fired. / You can't fire me. I make your decisions, and I say I'm not fired! Ha!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "I'll kick that door in if you give me some sugar.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea. It's dangerous. She won't get what she wants. And who knows who she might end up hurting?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Monica's right. Swing dancing can be tricky.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "My God! Think of the massacre.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic... in Central Park! / Central Park? / All of us. All day. / That sucks!", "c": ["Character A", "Phoebe", "Character B", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "That's not a trip! I just came from there. What'll we high-five about at the stupid park?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Just bringing some culture to the group. / That's fine. Just don't bring it in my mouth. It makes me want to puke.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Whose plan was that? / Mine! / Wait. It was my plan. / No... I said we needed a new plan. And I came up with Atlantic City. Which is the new plan.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Character A", "Character B", "Character A"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "I'm going to go pack my ass off.", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Paper. / Yeah? What's it about? / The events from around the globe.", "c": ["Ross", "Character A", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Once at work... I thought carbon dating is fossilized... I'm really trying to tell you something here.", "c": ["Rachel", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "What? Was that a joke? Because it's mean.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Because I just heard it! I heard it! And it's ridiculous! I mean... You're married! You're married, and it's just ridiculous!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "When I said it, I sort of floated up out of my body. And then I heard myself say it, and then the floating Rachel... I was like, 'You are such an idiot!'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "'Hey, Ross! Where's the missus?' 'Don't know!'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "That's what I said!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Let's roll some bones. Hey, Joey! High-five for rolling bones.", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Well, don't worry. I call shotgun.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Honey! High-five! The babies are coming!", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "It's too bad they didn't see us having sex.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "Do you know anything about women?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The One With All The Kissing"}, {"t": "I'm Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Which of you is the father? None of them are. The father is my brother.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Medical Staff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "I'll miss watching you freak people out like that.", "c": ["Friends"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "You're not wearing one. Oh, man! I did it again!", "c": ["Joey", "Friends"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "She hit her head in the shower. Oh, my God. She's so stupid!", "c": ["Friends", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "I don't see three kids coming out of your vagina!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "And so the miracle of birth begins. And I... You okay? Something hurts.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "It's sympathy pains. That's so sweet! I didn't know I cared that much.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "And also, I love Fonzie.", "c": ["Dr. Harad"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Don't worry. She told me about the LaMazda stuff. If you get the babies out by month's end... you get two percent financing.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "They're male nurses. Not in my head.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "There's always room for Jello.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "How do you make that dirty? It's easy. I can do it with anything. Grandma's chicken salad...", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Now, girl baby, turn away. And boy babies... check it out! This is what naked women looked like when you were born.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "This one doesn't hurt eith... Yes, it does!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "It was sweet at first, but now I think he's trying to steal my thunder.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Oh, you know, Fonzie dated triplets.", "c": ["Dr. Harad"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "I don't want some guy down there telling me I'm 'dilated-a-mundo.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Just goofing around.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Doogie!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Oh, cool. You made him cry!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Well, what else could it be? It's kidney stones. Or... Kidney stones. If it was something else? Well, that would be 'kidney stones.'", "c": ["Doctor", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "They'll be born on the Fonz's half-birthday.", "c": ["Dr. Harad"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Just to clarify... I'm not Fonzie.", "c": ["Dr. Harad"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "I want to keep one.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Three babies are a handful. Maybe they'll want to unload one.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Tell him it's for you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no. Nothing is going up, okay? Up is not an option. What's a urethra?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Undo it. Undo it.", "c": ["Dr. Harad"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "You couldn't just do me a favor and, like, hold them in?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Sorry, I'm in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "So, Dan... nurse, not a doctor, huh? Kind of girlie, isn't it?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "And it didn't feel 'girlie' during the Gulf War.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Thanks for doing that for us, by the way.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "I want the drugs, Ross! I do too! I do too!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Ready? Time to try peeing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Yes! We got a baby boy! Frank Junior, Junior!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "How does he look? So gross!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "I already had a baby. Leave me alone!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Hey, where's his thing? Chandler's a girl! Oh, God! Kindergarten flashback.", "c": ["Frank", "Dr. Harad", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "There's 30 fingers and 30 toes.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Well, I have... and the technical definition is: Two friends who care a lot about each other... and have amazing sex... and just want to spend more time together.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Don't do the dance. Right.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Well, if you're going to cry...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "It works on you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Maybe they can girlie it up a bit, like Chandlerette. Alice called her Channy-fanny.", "c": ["Friends"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The One Hundredth"}, {"t": "Since when do you take naps in that position?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "That cute waiter guy that looks like a nonthreatening Ray Liotta?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "I don't care if I said some other girl's name, you prissy old twit!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Way to suck up to the family!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "I'm so glad you're all here. My office finally got wrinkle-free fax paper!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Oh, it's '4-3,' not 4-2. Well, which 4-2?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Vomit tux? Who vomited on?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "That's the kind of math Joey likes to do.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "A lot of those muppets don't have thumbs.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "All I got was a lousy key chain, and by that time, I was living in a box. I didn't have keys!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Are you calling me selfish? Are you calling you people?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "You know the deal on Santa Claus?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "When you said 'the deal with Santa,' you meant...? That he doesn't exist. Right.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Really?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Why is that funny? Because I'm very happy for him. And you! You lucky dog!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "But you live here. You know that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "You can just video-conference with him.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "I'm sure your ex-wife would be more than happy to move so you can patch things up with your new wife.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Tea. They have a queen.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "So? She's a woman.", "c": ["Carol", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Nobody's going to London. Welcome to London, governor.", "c": ["Carol", "Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "It'll be great because we'll have Big Ben and little Ben in the same city.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Yeah, we leave all our big decisions to the 3-year-old.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "It'll be just like Three's Company, only there's a kid and my wife and you're the gay ones.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "You don't seem to understand. I was Dr. Drake Ramoray.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "I gave birth to three children and I won't let them be raised in a world where Joey's right!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "If you're cooking on the stove, that means your new boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "If this guy was me, and it's me who'd learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be like this:", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "We're going to be like two idiots in love!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Thanks for the help. Problem solved!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Maybe just put the whole duck in there. Who cares?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "How many times have I told you to never watch the cooking channel?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "We used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Williams-Sonoma, fall catalog, page 27. Expect it in 4 to 6 weeks.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Well, I think I'd be a little out of my league, but I'd give it a shot.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "I went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "It helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "You know, the bee probably died after he stung you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Damn it!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Quick broiling pan question", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Maybe next time your duck can puke in something from Pottery Barn.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "It's not a toy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Let me see. Will Chandler have sex tonight?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "'Don't Count On It.' Seems like it works to me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Looks like Stella's gonna get her groove back tonight!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "I'm still mad at them, but they bring happiness to lots of kids whose moms didn't kill themselves.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "A hamster? Those things are, like, $10. Not the one I had my eye on.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Oh, no!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "If I'm the best, it's only because you made me the best.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "We owe it to sex!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "No, no, no! Leave the gloves on.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Hates Pbs"}, {"t": "That's because you always sleep till noon, silly.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "This is what nine looks like.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "All weekend? That's a whole lot of naked.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "That's funny. Seems like Chandler's conference could've been... in Connecticut or Vermont.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Do you want people to think it's fake? It's a real conference.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "I'm focusing on the 'I get to see my wife' part... and not on the part that makes me do this.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "So I'm thinking, basically, we pick it up and then we flip it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "That's better than my way.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Hey, Joey's ass.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "When Ross said 'Rachel' at the wedding, I figured it'd happen again.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Condoms?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "You don't know how long we'll be in here. We may have to repopulate the Earth.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "And condoms are the way to do that?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Our dog died!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "LaPooh's still alive?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "It says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for... nineteen blocks!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "You should live with Joey. Rolos everywhere.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Chandler, stop yelling that you and I are gonna do it!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God! They gave us glasses!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Okay, but let's do it now. Chopper Five just lost its feed!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Oh, not again. This happened when my grandfather died.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "I know, it's ridiculous. I can't see you, either. All right.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Half a tank? Still lots of high-speed chasing to do!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "No, like feet.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "I hear you, Mugsy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Do not speak ill of the dead.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "What did you say? / I said, 'Jeez, relax, Mon.'", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "I don't like fast getaways, I like car chases.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Well, Davey's still pining after LaPooh... but, you know, he's a tough little turtle.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Lucky me! Oh, my God! That is good news, Ross! That's the best news I've heard since LaPooh died!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, that's how mad I am!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Damn Rolos!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "You know, at the Taj Mahal he has his own private glass elevator.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "What kinds of stuff do you know?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Maybe the food tasted good at first... but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Just think of it as $25 per room.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Chandler stole a 20 from my purse!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "You should've seen the look on her face.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "You got married too fast. / That's not advice.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Maybe I could do it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! It's happening. It's already started. I'm Kip.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Who's Kip?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Oh, that poor bastard.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Kip didn't even have to be Kip. We handled that all wrong.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Chandler had a mustache, for crying out loud.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "I just assumed Phoebe would be the one to go. You live far away, you're not related. You lift right out.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Yes, that was mine.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "I don't even feel like I know you anymore.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Were you or were you not... on a gay cruise?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Bye, Ross. Forever.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "First, I'd have said the right name at my wedding.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "This isn't over?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Welcome to an adult relationship.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "I'm afraid so.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "It is. It hurts.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "We're so stupid. Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "'The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. If you win, slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, Hi, Phoebe!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Rules are good! Rules help control the fun.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Kips"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey, hey. None of that. Not while you're living under my roof.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "I can hear that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "I can still hear you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "A year ago I didn't even have a family and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Oh, God! Aah!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Oh, soft.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "That didn't happen, I made that up.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "So basically this is a 'getting rid of anything Rachel ever touched' sale.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Touched, used, sat on, slept on... I'll take it all.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "When my friend Sylvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Emily thinks Ross' furniture has got Rachel cooties?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know. We're losing Ross, Joey said 'hence.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "But, you know, I'm an actor. I'll act cool.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the poison?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Fog him! Fog him!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "You're on in five, Ms. Minnelli.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "I've been given the gift of time.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "That's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space. We should get them together and make a continuum.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "He was like this crazy-eyed, hairy beast-man. He was like a Bigfoot or a yeti or something.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Yeah, I pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Ugh, please. We did not fog Danny.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "You know, you always stick up for the people we fog.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "We actually thought you were like a yeti or something. Okay.", "c": ["Monica", "Danny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "I don't think that we can accept your acceptance of our apology. It just doesn't really seem like you mean it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Really. What is with that guy? I mean, you'd forgive me if I fogged you. Well, you did, a little bit.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Well, he said that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I, um, you know, bring in the next person I know who dies.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Not nature. Fashion.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Okay, so to you, death is fashion? That's really funny. Yeah, here's Phoebe, uh, sporting, you know, cutting-edge hairy carcass from, you know, the steel traps of wintry Russia.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Because I do.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "So rocks.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "We all hate Emily.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Well, ahem, I've been reading up, and for your information, minks are not very nice.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "It's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley. Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Absolutely. Some people are just into appearances.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "You know, I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here. Do you? Well, you know, if kids like to play with capri pants.", "c": ["Rachel", "Danny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "And stop saying that. I hate that. Okay.", "c": ["Rachel", "Danny"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "That pizza place across the street any good? What? I'm hungry. You wanna get some pizza? You can keep yelling if there's more.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "It's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "That yeti is one smooth talker.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "You see, Rach, I'm an actor.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Oh, God. I really missed that fat bastard.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Well, I can tell you for damn sure who's not here, and that's Rachel.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "You can totally tell. Here, look, watch me. Smile. Frown. Smile. Frown. Smile.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "This is mink, okay? They're mean, and they hate squirrels.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "And, you know, most of these probably wanted to be coats.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Yeti"}, {"t": "Are you looking at naked tribeswomen? No, look. That's a pig. I know. But look at the knobs on it!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Didn't you sign a lease? Who needs a lease when it's 'family'?", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "But you have to let us know when you feel better... so we can make fun of your hair.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.8, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "I've been moving around so much that I feel like a nomad.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "What? He thought you said gonad.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Do health inspectors work on commission? No, bribes.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "It's okay to laugh? I was just kidding.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "You could eat beans off that floor. But don't, because that'd be a violation.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "There's the two points! You should really read that book you wrote.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew she'd go in hatless to get it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "You could have your own health inspector detective show.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "But then I could be your sidekick, Voonda.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "She would love that... since you know all the clean places to eat.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.8, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Right, you only go for them five minutes before they get married.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "And then nothing.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Wow, thirsty.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "So I guess we won't be warming his house.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Blew up in his face, didn't it?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.8, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "So he won't invite you to his party because he likes you? Exactly! Then why didn't he invite me? To throw me off.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "We will, We will call you back", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "You're fake laughing too, right? The tears are real.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Shiny. You mind if I wash up? Who knows where these have been?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "I saw 10 violations. I'm shutting this place down!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "You built a fort, didn't you? Kind of.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! The air purifier. Ross' air purifier.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "You should have gone out once in a while.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "So why don't you be a grownup and come watch TV in the fort?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Larry said that they should call it Vermin's.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "It's a regatta gala. Do you sail? No, but I support it.", "c": ["Rachel", "Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "So the ball is in his court? Ball? No, there's no ball.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.8, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "What is the deal with this? Bye-bye, little puppet Joey hand?", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "What if that had been porn?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "I survived college with him. I guess I can hold out a little longer.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Clean places? Yum!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "What kind of a regatta gala starts at night? The fake kind.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.8, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "You know what Larry would say? He'd say, 'See you ladle.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Not even on page seven?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "That's great! So you can cook while in the tub.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.8, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Somebody was using his head.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Kitchen, slash, bathroom.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "We are bad people. He knew we were trying to get rid of him.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Could we get a bathtub in our kitchen?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "This milk is mine. I bought this today... because I was thirsty for milk, you know?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Stop, Larry. Can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.8, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "No closet space, but he could hang his stuff out the window in a bag.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Of course, he has a big, huge dog that barks into the night.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Well, who doesn't love dogs? He's a tap dancer.", "c": ["Manager", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Yes, some would say that is a lost art. He's a pimp!", "c": ["Manager", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "He's a big, tap-dancing pimp!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "I don't need this, I'm coming from a regatta gala.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "So... What's this? Salad. And what's this? Bread. Aren't you a chef?", "c": ["Monica", "Danny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Ball's flying all over the place.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "So you work at Bloomingdale's? My mom calls it 'Bloomies.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "You can just drop the act. I know what's going on. You're Danny's wingman, right?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "He just keeps lobbing them up... and I keep knocking them right out of the park.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "So I'm a pimp, huh?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "The cowboy hat's a little much. Come on, it's fun!", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "Isn't this a woman's hat? Stop talking crazy, and make us tea!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Ross Moves In"}, {"t": "I couldn't possibly eat another bite. I need something sweet.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Monica, your remote doesn't work. You have to lift it and point.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Very nice. The other day, I was at the bus stop... and this lovely fall breeze came and blew this chick's skirt up.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "It's not so much an underpant as a feat of engineering.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "And they play with your mind. Is it there? Is it not there?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Are you aware that you're still talking? Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "I don't know. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "And I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. This is the worst Thanksgiving ever. I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't swoop in with your bad marriage and take that away from me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay and abandoned its family.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Now, Chandler, dear... just because we're getting a divorce... doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means... he would rather sleep with the houseboy than with me.", "c": ["Chandler's Mother"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "More turkey, Mr. Chandler?", "c": ["Houseboy"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Every time you tell that story, that guy's accent gets thicker and thicker.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "So are he and your dad still together? No. After they got their own place, the houseboy got his own houseboy.", "c": ["Unknown", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Should have heard his accent. You're right, yours is worse. You're the king of bad Thanksgivings.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Really? Worse than, 'More turkey, Mr. Chandler?'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Of course, you don't, sweetie. You're brand-new.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Joey got a turkey stuck on his head? It's not like it sounds. It's exactly like it sounds.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I know! It's stuck!", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Of course it smells bad. You have your head up a dead animal's ass.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Get that off now! I can't. It's stuck! It has to feed 20 people. They're not going to eat it off your head!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "I got it! You pull. I'll spread the legs as wide as I can.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Now is not the time.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "It worked! I scared you! I knew it!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Remember when Ross tried to say 'butternut squash'... and it came out, 'squatternut bosh'?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's the same.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "For me, anyway. And, of course, the Indians.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Monica, can you just call it sex? It really creeps me out when you call it that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "And by the way... while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his 'tenderness.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Believe me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Might want to rethink the lyrics to 'She Feels Weird Since I've Been Gone.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Call them Mom and Dad, you loser.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "And Chip promised that this time it'd last at least for an entire song.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Right, Clifford Alvarez? Listen, Roland Cheng...", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "It's not that. I just don't want to be stuck here with your fat sister.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Judy, you did it. She's finally full!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "I can't believe you let George Michael slap you.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Mine had a dwarf that got broke in half, but, you know, whatever.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "I had to. There was never any parking by the psychology building.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "She plays for both teams.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "I want him to be naked, and I want to point at him and laugh.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "First of all, if you keep calling it that, no one will take it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Like this dish towel. This feels so good against my cheek.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "I love the way this box feels against my cheek.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "And I put the cool steel... against... my body.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "They're made of wicker!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Toes on Ice, coming soon to Madison Square Garden.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "You brought a carrot. This isn't your toe. This is a small, very cold piece of carrot.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! There's a toe in my kitchen.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "I'm not falling for that one.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "That's why for an entire year people called me Sir Limps-a-lot?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Sir Limps-a-lot. I came up with that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "'Sorry' doesn't bring back the piggy that cried all the way home.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "I'm a duck. I go quack-quack. I'm happy all the time.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "I bet this will work.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "Nothing. I said you're so great, and then I just stopped talking.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "You said you loved me. I can't believe this! No, I didn't! Yes, you did! No, I didn't! You love me! No, I don't! Stop it, stop it, stop it!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The One With All The Thanksgivings"}, {"t": "What am I sitting on? Top of the world? Dock of the bay? I'm out.", "c": ["Character Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Oh, undies!", "c": ["Character Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "They're mine. See, Joey's. They're Joe-Joe-Joey's.", "c": ["Character Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I don't know. I'm Joey. I'm disgusting. I take my underwear off in other people's homes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Tighty-whiteys? What are you, 8?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I said it was mine, and that I was playing a woman in a play.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "And around the ankles, that is a tough spot.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Yeah, actually.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, I get Rachel shoving your underwear in my face...and asking when she can come see me star in Ugly Woman.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "All right. But you do it with me once.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Joey! -Didn't think so.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Does anybody else just take off their underwear when they're hot?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I really liked that Lamaze class I took.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "...with a less painful final exam.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "What did the police say?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Look, I left a note and everything. 'Knock-knock.' 'Who's there?' 'Ross Geller's lunch.' 'Ross Geller's lunch, who?' 'Ross Geller's lunch. Please don't take me. Okay?'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I'm surprised you didn't wear it home.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "What would you say, Phoebe? Stuff like: 'Keep your mitts off my grub.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Do you picture Phoebe on the street with the entire cast of Annie?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Someday I'll tell you how I stabbed the cop. He stabbed me first!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Sorry I'm late, but I left late.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I started it, but then there was this pep rally. And I was on top of the pyramid.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Symbolism!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "You completely stole my answer!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I think that yours is a question with many possible answers. Would you care to venture one?", "c": ["Rachel", "Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "The best you got in high school was 'Wet Pants Geller.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "It was the water fountain, okay?!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Hey, Tribbiani! Give me that coffee! Now!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I can't believe you thought you'd tape us having sex on the first date!", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Tell them you had to make an adult film for your...adult film class.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Her secret is, she puts an extra slice of gravy-soaked bread in the middle. I call it 'The Moistmaker.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moistmaker?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "You threw my sandwich away? My sandwich?!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "First, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Well, feminism, yes. But also the robots.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "But I definitely don't care about my sandwich.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "It was so funny when you compared Jane Eyre to Robocop.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Let's give our friend a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Joey's a sex addict. What?! No, I'm not! It's okay! It's good! It's a disease.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Well, let's see what everybody thinks of that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I guess I wanted to keep it...as a souvenir.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah! We should have essay questions!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rosss Sandwich"}, {"t": "Top shelf, expired products", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Dude, you just described seven days' worth of stuff. Spread it out a little.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. / Hey, don't get religious on me, okay?", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Hello, Chandler Bing. / Hello, Mr. Bing. / I love you.", "c": ["Chandler", "Unknown caller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "It's been 6 months! It's not funny!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "I can see you, Mr. Bing. You look sexy in your new suit.", "c": ["Unknown caller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "And that's Wednesday.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "The British are coming?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "I'll be spreading joy to the people. Last year I spread a little joy, but not enough. So this year I'm doing the whole city.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "It's weird, you're starting to sound a lot like Chandler lately.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "That is so not true.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "They never give a good spot to a rookie... but I'm the only one who can say 'Merry Christmas' in 25 languages. I lied!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "See? Still pretending he's not interested.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "He's coming over. Pretend we've forgotten who he is. / Hey, guys. / Hey, Danny.", "c": ["Monica", "Danny", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "On the date, I'll be able to talk to her directly?", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Well, Talia Shire suddenly became available. / She's a woman! / What can I say? She nailed it!", "c": ["Joey's agent", "Joey", "Joey's agent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "You'll just say no again, but... gay porn?", "c": ["Joey's agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Is that a new suede jacket? It looks really expensive. / Yeah. I guess.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rich donor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Just get your nails done? / Yes, Phoebe, but this is all I have, okay?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rich donor"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "You can't take money out. / I'm making change for the bus. / Can't you leave the dollar for the poor? / I'm poor. I gotta take the bus. / Bite me, blondie!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Poor donor"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "What are the chances I could get those guys to star in it? / Wait a second. I could star in it!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "I can't write. I mean, I'm an actor. I could act like a writer.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Done. / And it can't be Joey. / It's not. / Or Joseph.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "You meddled in our relationship! / You had no relationship!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "She was kind of stupid.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Chandler Bing, seven! Chandler Bing, zero!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Well, you suck. But at least you suck at a man's game now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "We said goodbye to that when we invented hammer darts.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Do you even remember which part of the wall is not spackle?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "No, that's trash, young lady. You can't\u2014 Stop that young lady! She donated trash!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "The charity's on fire! Help! Thank you. I need that!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "A room. A man enters. He looks suspicious.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "That's the game we played. It's great. You take a tennis ball, a bowl and lighter\u2014", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Not the creator of 'Crazy Lawsuit Game.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "I thought I heard you. / Hey, great, you're up. / Rachel, my sister Krista. / Nice to meet you. / I wish you'd warned me. I'd have fixed myself up. / Like it would help. / You are so bad. / You are. / You are. / You are! / You are so dead. / I'm gonna get you. Come here!", "c": ["Danny", "Krista", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Does this look like a garbage can to you? Does it look like an ashtray? Does it look like a urinal?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "No more Mrs. Nice Bucket.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "But not totally back. Street Phoebe wouldn't be friends with you guys.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Well, you weighed 200 pounds.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Still, I was quick as a cat.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Not since I got too strong for you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, fine. Ready? Wrestle!", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Okay, you know what? Actually, that helps a lot. Thanks.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "If you were a friend, you'd be doing the same. / So being a friend means being a jerk? / If it does, then you're an amazing friend of mine.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "You said you would, but you didn't. / Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Chasing the churro guy is not jogging.", "c": ["Krista"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Damn. I got it on my pants. / Here, I'll get it. / We better take them off or the stain will set.", "c": ["Danny", "Krista"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! / That was unbelievable. / See? I told you. / Yeah. Sorry. / I don't believe they're brother and sister. / They're brother and sister?! / I guess you'll have to cancel your date. And call their mother.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "What's this? A Canadian coin? Get out of here!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "You can leave the 'hurt bunny' look over there too.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "That chick can't handle my corner.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "You and your sister seem to have a very special bond\u2014 / Oh, great. That 'special bond' again.", "c": ["Rachel", "Danny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "No, I have two sisters. But one has a very masculine energy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Danny? Hurry up. The bath's getting cold.", "c": ["Krista"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "If they have a ball, you could stick razors in it... and teach them a new game: 'Gonna-Need-Stitches Ball.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Now we can go to the Ranger game last night!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Also without somebody breathing down your neck all the livelong day!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Could I be more sorry?", "c": ["Chandler character in Joey's script"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "I don't know. I am one sorry... polontologist.", "c": ["Ross character in Joey's script"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "A handsome man enters.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "And you. You co-created Fireball.", "c": ["Joey character in script"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "This took you all day? / No, this took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new Ultimate Fireball!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "God, Tiffany, you smell so great. / It's my new perfume. Why don't you come closer where you can really appreciate it?", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "Joey, you are sick. / This is disgusting. I'm not reading this. / Wait, wait, wait! The handsome man was about to enter!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Inappropriate Sister"}, {"t": "1999, the year of Joey.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Can't kiss your sister. / Who's gonna kiss my sister? / Chandler.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Who would you rather have kiss your sister? / That's a good point.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Ross wants to kiss you at midnight. / So obvious. Why doesn't he just ask?", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "So that do anything for you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Just the one divorce in '99. [BLOWS NOISE MAKER]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Do you want us to leave the room or?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Now you only have to find a planeload of people whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Paying me the 50 bucks can be the 'new thing you do' that day.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "I would love it if one of those was true.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Really? Who have you taught? / Well, I taught me and I loved me.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Who, from what I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "You know, kind of like a public service. Doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Koppel a gossip?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Well, if Ted Koppel talked about his coworkers' botched boob jobs... yeah, I would.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Well, they were like this. [demonstrates with hands]", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Elizabeth Hornswoggle. / Hornswoggle.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "No, no, I just think that maybe I've heard it somewhere before. / Oh, really? Where? / Somewhere funny I'll bet.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Hornswoggle? / Oh, this must be killing you.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "I don't know the actual names of the chords, but I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "So then, this is 'Bear Claw.' Okay, 'Turkey Leg'... and 'Old Lady.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "You know, some might find it amusing. I myself find it regular.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "All right, let's just say I found out something about someone... and let's just say... she's gonna keep it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Ooh. You nailed the Old Lady. Oh! Oh, ha, ha!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Give me your hands. Strings. Pick.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Do you want to learn to play guitar? / Yes. / Then don't touch one!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Ross is wearing leather pants. Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? Someone comment on the pants.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. Maybe there's something in that area?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "I've never owned a really good-smelling pair of pants before.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "You look like a freak. Yeah, awful. / Awful.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "It's my New Year's resolution. / To blind my child?", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "My God, these pants. I'm burning up.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Oh, God. She wants to snuggle now? What, is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "[FARTING NOISE] / That was just the pants and the couch.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "G-sharp? / G-sharp? Have you been studying the real names of the chords?", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "No, but you're questioning my method. / No, I'm not questioning it, Phoebe. I'm saying it's stupid.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Your other student was you!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "And look. Ooh, there's a picture of him with a kid. Yeah, and the kid's got a guitar!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "But don't come crying to me when everyone is sick and tired of hearing you play 'Bad, Bad Leroy Brown.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? / You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big...", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "No, I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off. But they must have shrunk from the sweat or something. Or my legs expanded from the heat.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Oh. That is quite a situation.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "And the lotion and the powder have made a paste.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Well, if the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself paste pants and she won't know the difference.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "I don't care, Rach. Look, I'm tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets and can't tell anyone.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Hey, can you turn the lights off? / No. Let's just leave the lights on.", "c": ["Ross", "Elizabeth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. / I had a problem.", "c": ["Elizabeth", "Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "I can't talk to you. I don't have a fancy ad in the yellow pages.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "[Guitar breaks] / Was the chord at least right before...? / No.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Ben drew a picture of you. You're a cowboy. / Because of the leather pants?", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Ooh, you know, they had some... with fringe all down the sides.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "I would make a good cowboy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go to the airport. If I hang around there long enough... someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Hey, Joe, would you mind going over into Chandler's bedroom... and getting that book back that he borrowed from me?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "What's the thing you know? / You tell me what you know. / I can't tell you. / Then I can't.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Chandler and Monica? Oh, this is unbelievable. / How long have you known? / Too long. Oh, my God.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "That's weird. I bet they're doing it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so you can get back to your home planet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "And Ross. Phone call for you today. Tom Jones. He wants his pants back.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "And Hornswoggle? What, are you dating a character from Fraggle Rock?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Resolutions"}, {"t": "Sorry. Monica and Chandler are \"making love.\"", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "They did it right there on the couch.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Someone I know is getting married. Yeah, weddings are happy occasions. Oh, by the by, it's my ex-wife, Emily!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Stupid British snack food!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Did they teach you that in anger management?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Are you still mad about, you know, the Louisiana Purchase?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Anybody going to eat that?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Hey, Bing! Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Ha-ha-ha! I ask myself that very question. This is Monica.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Dewey, Cheatem & Howe", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "What was that? That noise you made? Oh, that was my work laugh.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "He says, '$30, Father. Same as in town.' Ha!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Except for that time at that strip club. Strip church.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "I used to, but then Joey thought it'd be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Okay, good luck with that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "If there was, I wouldn't tell you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Duck quacking and rooster clucking conversation", "c": ["Phoebe", "Duck", "Rooster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan. They get mail and stuff.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Those birds are browned, basted and ready to be carved.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Okay, easy, Martina.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "He can't even breathe, and she's popping pills.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Oopsie! Missed it!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Not if I see you first, Doug!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "You know what? Because you said that... I'm not putting out tonight!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Ross couldn't fit down the trash chute. That's right. He almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Oh, out! God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "He hooked up!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Janice's nasal laugh after returning Ross's scarf", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "I know what you all are thinking, but Chandler is in Yemen.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "You two would have very hairy children.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "In high school, I made out with James even though I knew that you liked him.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Mr. Bigot. Ha, ha. He tells the most racist jokes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Monica's exaggerated laugh at 'Me and Chandler?'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "That's not a Nutter Butter. That's an old won ton! Judge rules... Nutter Butter.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "We should all support President Clinton and her husband, Bill.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "I'll have Monica stick her finger in it. That ought to sweeten it up.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Kara's coffee is weak-tasting. But what Doug did was imply that it was weak physically.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "She keeps lying to me. That's it! I'm gonna go over there and I'm confronting them right now.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "I actually came over here to borrow this lamp... to, um, look at my books. You know, see them a little better.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "What a great way to make some extra pocket money.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Man, she is really gullible.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "I just don't think I can take another second of you whining!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "So you're saying I've become so whiny that I annoy you... Janice.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "I guess, that's two out of three... Joey!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "You don't fool around with your friends' ex-girlfriends or possible girlfriends or girls they're related to.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "I gave you 27 dollars. No strings attached!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Chandlers Work Laugh"}, {"t": "Time's up! My turn. - That was half an hour? - It's your timer.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Aah! Aah! Aah. It's so good, isn't it? I don't know what I did to deserve it.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Say goodbye to sore muscles! Goodbye, muscles!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "She gives the worst massages ever. It was like she was torturing me for information.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I wanted to give it up. I just didn't know what it was!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "For the first time, I'm in a real relationship. I won't screw that up by telling the truth.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat. Sorry. And the bunny got away.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "This would be the place where you explain the hat.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "And you'll make them disappear?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Like you could find something this sophisticated.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Please, take those off!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Maybe she's with us right now.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Right. She's on a new spiritual plane and she'll come to the coffeehouse.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside!", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Actually, it's kind of cool. Because it's like... you know, one life ends and another begins.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Not the way they're doing it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "We were in the market... and she bent down to get some yogurt and never came back up again.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "The last thing she said was: 'You get the eggs, I'll get the yogurt, and we'll meet at the checkout counter.' You know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Really? A purse?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "It's not a purse. It's a shoulder bag. - It looks like a woman's purse. - No. Trust me, all the men are carrying them in the spring catalog.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "See, look. Women carrying the bag.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "But it is odd how a woman's purse looks so good on me, a man.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Exactly. Unisex! Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "No, Joey. U-N-I sex.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I ain't going to say no to that!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Um, no, thanks.", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Didn't she die like five years ago?", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I know I went to that already.", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Then who's been dead? Lots of people!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ursula"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Plus I'm going to a concert. I'd invite you, but, um, I only have two tickets left.", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. - Thanks. Enjoy your funeral!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ursula"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "You look just like your son, Mrs. Tribbiani.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "What? Are you referring to my man's bag?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Your makeup.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Do you take Vasa or Mooster Card?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "What's the part? Auntie Mame?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "You-and-I sexy?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "You know what? My grandma had the exact same bag!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Pulling flowers out makes the bag look masculine.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "You know what? Strike that. My name, uh, actually, is Joe.", "c": ["Frank Buffay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "It's like it's coming right at me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "He said, um, 'Nice to meet you, Glenda.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "You guys have to get used to the fact that Joey... comes with a bag!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I'd walk in there, I'd be like, 'Yo, Dad! You and me, outside. Right now!'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I kind of scared myself.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Well, at least you scared someone.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "You'd think I'd want to rip his tiny little head off!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "As a masseuse and a human... I'm begging you, never do that to anyone.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "He does not like it. He's in pain! - No, he's not. - Yes, he is! - What? - I'm sorry but, ow!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "And by 'we'... I mean society.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Could you try it without the purse?", "c": ["Casting Director"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Do you sell these? No, these babies sell themselves.", "c": ["Casting Director", "Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "But I didn't read anything. I think we've seen enough.", "c": ["Joey", "Casting Director"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! You don't know me at all!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "You give the best bad massages.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "So they could call the award, 'The Monica'?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I suck!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Oh, it's, ew, used.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I guess then I would have to say C. Total abandonment.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I don't want the lipstick that much.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "If she isn't, cremating her was a big mistake.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Yep, lipstick and a daughter. Big day for you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Well, you know, in my defense, I was a lousy father.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I made up a song to sing to you, but that made you cry even more.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Sleepy girl, sleepy girl, Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl, You're keeping me up", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "To tell you the truth... they had a problem with the bag!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Yeah, um, they're called wallets.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Joeys Bag"}, {"t": "Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled 'Clothes.'", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Aw, I'm going to miss that big old squishy butt. And we're done with the chicken fried rice.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Yeah, hey, then we could do that telephone thing... you know, where you have a can, we have a can... and it's connected by a string. Or we could do the actual telephone thing.", "c": ["JOEY"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "That is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Aah! Aah! Aah! Chandler and Monica. Chandler and Monica. Oh, my God. Oh, my eyes! My eyes!", "c": ["PHOEBE", "RACHEL"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Nothing. Oh, God, we're just so excited that you might get this apartment.", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Uh-huh. Doing it, doing it, phone doing it.", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "I mean, I think it's great. For him. She might be able to do better.", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "You mean how they're friends and nothing more?", "c": ["JOEY"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Or we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "You know, every time they say they're doing laundry... we'll give them laundry to do.", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "You don't have any secrets. Oh, yeah? Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal.", "c": ["RACHEL", "JOEY"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "My sexuality.", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Watch, learn, and don't eat my cookie.", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "You've been working out? Well, I try to, you know, squeeze things.", "c": ["PHOEBE", "CHANDLER"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Well, actually, you're the one person I can't tell this to. And the one person I want to the most.", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Have I said too much?", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Well, my grandfather was Swedish. And my grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "I think Phoebe was hitting on me. What are you talking about? I'm telling you, I think Phoebe thinks I'm foxy.", "c": ["CHANDLER", "MONICA"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, it's just Phoebe's just always thought you were charming... in a sexless kind of way.", "c": ["MONICA"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Oh, well, you know, I can't hear that enough.", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "This bicep? Well, it's not flexed right now.", "c": ["MONICA", "CHANDLER"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "[Rachel dumps a huge bag of laundry] You don't mind, do you? That would really help me out a lot. Thanks.", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "A basket of mini muffins. There's a whole table of mini muffin baskets. Which one did you send? The small one.", "c": ["ROSS", "RACHEL", "JOEY"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those muffins. It was the best day. Your work makes me sad.", "c": ["ROSS", "JOEY"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Bye, Chandler. I miss you already.", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Okay, but what about my pinchable butt and my bulging biceps?", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "But they don't know that we know that they know.", "c": ["MONICA"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "The messers become the messees.", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Like if I wanted something from Joey... I would strike up a conversation about, say, um, sandwiches... or, uh, my underwear.", "c": ["RACHEL", "JOEY"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "So he likes to break stuff.", "c": ["RACHEL"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Poor cat never saw that big butt coming.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Why don't you come over and I'll let you, uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more.", "c": ["CHANDLER"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "They don't know that we know they know we know.", "c": ["PHOEBE"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Couldn't if I wanted to.", "c": ["JOEY"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I can't help but notice that you're naked and... I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "That is how God intended it.", "c": ["ROSS"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Everybody Finds Out"}, {"t": "Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four, five months? That's more than most people have in a lifetime. Goodbye.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "I am going on the lam.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Hey, Ross. What's up, bro?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "What's going on? I think Ross knows about me and Monica.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Dude, he's right there.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "You guys want to probably get some hugs in too. Big news!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "I'm just talking here. He's the one doing your sister.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "You know what I just realized? If you guys have kids / We're having kids? / I call godfather!", "c": ["Joey", "Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Shouldn't her brother be godfather? / Sure. If you cared enough to call it first.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "You're a few steps ahead of us. / Big zero gravity moon steps.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "She is so cute. You could fit her in your pocket.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "She could fit in that little pocket inside the pocket.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "But what? / She keeps punching me.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "She's hurting me. / I know what you need. You need a bodyguard. / What is Ben doing after preschool?", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Joey is having a problem. A little girl is beating him up.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "[Reaction beat - Monica's sympathetic response interrupted by Katie punching Joey]", "c": ["Monica", "Katie", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Salt, so your life always has flavor. Bread, so you never go hungry. And a scented candle for the bathroom. Because, well, you know.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Mr. President.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Well, the guy's worked here for 25 years. / Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes.", "c": ["Steve", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "I mean, I don't know Howard. / Howard's the handyman. / Yes, but to me, he's just 'man.'", "c": ["Ross", "Steve", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Can you believe that guy? / I really like his glasses.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "A little kid spit on my knee. And told me to wipe it off with my $100 bill.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "You really should wipe it off with something.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "If you want them to like you, why don't you just pay the $100? / The party will cost you more. / That doesn't matter! It's my principles!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "I thought it was about your neighbors liking you. / They'll like me once they come to my awesome party.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "And that crazy party animal will be your brother-in-law.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "I see two Monicas. My friend who lives across the hall and wants a lot of babies. And the new Monica who I started to date. Now, who is to say what she wants?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "I'm completely different from Richard. He's an eye doctor, and I don't wear glasses.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Not unless different means 'the same.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "You know, bread-stick fangs are always funny. / No, you make them funny. You're the funny one!", "c": ["Joey", "Katie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "...it feels like I'm being hit with a very tiny but a very real bat!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size!", "c": ["Katie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Yeah, here, somewhere else. You know, wherever.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Just hanging out. Having fun with the girl that I'm seeing casually.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Yes! You want babies! You have baby fever!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Why don't we turn the heat down on this pressure cooker!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "And that the only baby here is you? Did you know I can't even look at you now?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "I did not know that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Who? Two divorces and Joey?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "She's right, you know? / Yeah, but still, cheap shot!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Or you would have seen a Chandler-shaped hole in that door.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "I'm just the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Okay, my bad.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Listen, is it obvious I'm wearing six sweaters? / But it's not obvious why.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "...when I take away the Joey love?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Oh, right. I forgot that you call it that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "...I think you're the one that is too much.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "[Katie kicks Rachel - physical comedy beat]", "c": ["Katie", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Do something or I'll walk out that door right now. / Are you going to?", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "But you came off as the bad guy. / I told it wrong.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "3B. / You got your free food. You ruined everyone's fun. Isn't it time you went home? / Go back to 3B, 3B.", "c": ["Steve", "Steve", "Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "He raised his own hand when I asked, 'Who likes Ross?' And he's wearing two nametags.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Kurt? I thought, abrasive drunk. Lola? Mind-numbingly stupid. You guys. Gold digger, cradle-robbing perv.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Obviously, I didn't think they would throw things.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "I thought if I kept insulting them you'd defend them. Then you'd look like the hero.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "What a bad idea. / I can't not look at it.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "The best reason is pregnancy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Sorry is fourth, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "I'm kind of wishing everyone wasn't here now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "How long is this going to go on? / I think the length of teasing is directly related to how insane you were. So a long time.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "This is fun! / Remember that 'we were on a break' thing? / I'm sorry. Will you marry me?", "c": ["Rachel", "Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey"}, {"t": "Dark red. Wrong, but there's a connect-the-dots in here for you later.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Hey, how about maroon? Yes! You are so smart!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Three-letter word. Not dog, but... Cat. You are so smart!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Nickel... Okay, dime. You guys keep talking. This could take a while.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Cool. But why would a cop come in here? They don't serve doughnuts.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Could you discover the badge again? I can do better than that.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "My friend's been number 11 forever. This could be her year!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "It's just that if you wear someone's sweatshirt... shouldn't it be your boyfriend's? And I'm not him.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Do I smell bad? You smell like a meadow.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "The last time Joey went to a meadow his mother was shot by a hunter.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "What's that doing here? I don't see any doughnuts.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 3.78, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Cops and doughnuts. Come on. If Chandler had said it you'd all be on the floor.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Come here to me. What? You say that to kids? The 'Come here to me' is, you know, for the ladies.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Ross, honey, it's a nice couch, it's not a magic couch.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Something didn't quite add up there.", "c": ["Delivery Guy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Well, you. Her. I mean, she's very... you know. And you're, like... you know?", "c": ["Delivery Guy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Not only did we go out... we did it 298 times!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "You kept count? You are such a loser!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "A loser you did it with 298 times!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Hold it! N.Y.P.D. Freeze, punk! That's right. You are so busted.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Book them. Who are you talking to? Save it, red!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Woman", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Backup! Backup! I'm sorry! Sorry! Okay, cancel backup! Cancel backup!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Woman", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "It's true. I saw it on Dateline. Jane Pauley is the one woman I would kiss.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Left. Left. Okay, you know what? There's no more left left.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "This guy was all: And I'm all, 'Buffay! Homicide!'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "I'd better take it back. I'm totally drunk with power.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "What if Martin Luther King had said that? I kind of have a dream. I don't want to talk about it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "There was no sex. I haven't dreamt of her like that... since I found out about you two. More or less.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Or it could mean you saw Chandler and me being close and stuff... and you want that too. Sounds like your dream.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Well, sure! I'm just wearing sweats!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Friends first? That's interesting. You become friends after? No, never done that either.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "How you doing?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "In fact, I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Sipowicz? I don't think so. Yeah. Sipowicz. Yeah. Big guy, kind of bald. I don't know him. Don't try to call him. He's not there. He's out. His partner just died.", "c": ["Real Cop", "Phoebe", "Real Cop", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good.", "c": ["Real Cop"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Think I'll get me one of those. What's up, Joe? I saw you first, so...", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Certainly think a lot of yourself.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Pivot! Pivot!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "What did you mean when you said 'pivot'?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Yeah, because it's not 1985.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Maybe we'll see you on World's Most Boring Police Chases.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "I am not going back to that hellhole.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Suddenly, through no fault of my own, I became irresistible to her! And her roommate.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Closeness, schmoseness. There was three of us, for crying out loud!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "If I go down, you guys go down with me. Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "You're the prettiest fake undercover whore I've ever seen.", "c": ["Gary the Cop"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "He has a gun!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "This couch is cut in half. I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Look, I'm a reasonable man. I will accept store credit.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "I will take it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Cop"}, {"t": "Oh, boy. That guy's underwear sucks! What? Well, I got this pair marked 'XS'. Let me tell you, there was no room for excess anything in there.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! What did I ever do to you? Did I squeeze too hard? Let's just say I'm glad I'm not Chandler.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Is he doing his 'shark attack' bit? No. Oh, wait! There he goes.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Very funny, Ross. Very lifelike and funny.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "How... you... doing?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "No, no! I'm not with her. That's just Monica.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "I counted. You're not supposed to live here! Oh, man!", "c": ["Woman", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "No, Joe, I think he's just watching TV.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "It's so unfair that our date has to get cut short just because some guy shot at a store clerk.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Suspect has just emerged naked from the sewer. All right, you go.", "c": ["Police Radio", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "He's like this little puppy dog, you know? But like a really tough one who shoots bad guys.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Okay, you know where you are better than I do.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "God, I woke the beast.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Here's your broom back. You are so cute!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Did you say you wanted to have sex with his wife then fall off your chair?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Well, yeah, if you've got enough life jackets.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "You could have tried not kissing him. Thanks, Chandler.", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Let's bring back the girl who kisses everybody!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "She's back! Hot girl's back! Well, I'm not totally back yet. But I appreciate it.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "I lived with you for a while. Then I found this place.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Hey, little girl. Is your mommy or sister or babysitter by any chance, a hot girl?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "I do not want this job that bad. Good day, sir.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "You got ink on your lip.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Then why did you ask us if we wanted to go? Because I just wanted to know what you were doing so you wouldn't walk in on me and Chandler while we were doing it all night.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Just to impress them, you want us to have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "I know. You're the guy who wouldn't chip in for the handyman. Never mind.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "No, you're the best. No, you're the best. I am the best.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "I don't know, but I can see through your sheet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "She lives in some hot-girl parallel universe or something.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "I almost lost another girl because of counting!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "So there you go! You got courage, you got integrity, you got courage again, and not litigious.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "I did not mean to touch that! I mean, you! There!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Honey? The tortilla chips know what you mean.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Officer Bing's got a 10-100. That's pee-pee.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "We violated section 12, paragraph 7 of the criminal code.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "But see, I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "I am the relationship king, and you are the crazy, irrational screwup!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "By the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine. Man, they cannot get enough!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The One With Rachels Inadvertent Kiss"}, {"t": "Is that your card? / Yes. [immediately after being asked to memorize it]", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition? I mean, way to go, Ben! I've been in that park a million times and no one's offered me an audition.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "I'm always on the swings! What am I doing wrong? / That.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "I don't know if I'd feel comfortable stealing on my very first day.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Unwilling to steal from work. Interesting. If anybody gets free stuff, it's me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "If we throw her party on her birthday, it's not a surprise.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "They're gonna do it together. / That's my girlfriend. / So I gotta shut it down now?", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Weirder than seeing his two moms make out?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "You're not his godfather. / What? Are you kidding? Of course I am.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "So I steered clear of her. And the other one, I know from... Well, you know.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "He was so good, he convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "I really don't know you well enough for you to do that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Then I take credit for them. I'm kidding! / She is kidding. But don't ever disagree with her again. / Okay, now I'm kidding!", "c": ["Kim", "Nancy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "About ghosts and goblins... who totally supported the princess' right to smoke.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "who do you think she'll pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "One of the old-timers told me there used to be a little tree in there.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Wow, I still don't have my lung capacity back yet.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Oh, I changed my mind.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "I've highlighted the ones that'll go with the food.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Cups and ice? I get to be in charge of cups and ice? / All right. Fine. I will be in charge of cups and ice. / I can get ice at the restaurant / I got it!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Are you doing Joey's: 'The audition didn't go so well... Yeah, it did'? / Yeah, I am!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "You know what I mean? Doobies?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "We get high. / Me too. / I'm kidding. / Me too.", "c": ["Kim", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "I'm not married to him anymore. He's my ex-husband. I'm totally gay!", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "No. We're like best friends. That's why it's weird. / I thought we were just talking.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Yeah, okay, but I have been supporting a 29-year-old Italian for five years.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Good, because we got Rachel 800 gallons of water.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "You know, I rued the day once. Didn't get a whole lot else done.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it. If anyone should step aside, it should be Ben.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Hi, no one!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "You're like the tagalong dad!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Come on! Have you seen what my kid can do? He dials phones, he eats tortilla chips. He plays soccer with the cartoon tiger!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "You just give him a spoon, baby.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "This commercial belongs to me and Mitch! / Your kid's name is Raymond! / Yeah? So is yours!", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "You stink! / Thanks. / No, I'm serious. That's because I went down there and they were smoking. This is actually the smell of success.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "You look happy and sick. You smoked!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Yeah, my tongue feels a little fuzzy and my fingers sort of smell. I actually feel like I could throw up.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "You smell so smoky, I gotta get up. / I'm not kidding. / I think you smell great.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Great! Give me those cigs. Come on! Give it! Out. Done. Quit. / My late husband gave me that lighter. / I'm not kidding. / Okay, then.", "c": ["Rachel", "Kim"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "So you want to be an actor? I gotta tell you, it's no picnic. There's tons of rejection. No stability... one day, you're Dr. Drake Ramoray. The next day, you're eating ketchup out of the bottle.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Oh, who am I kidding. I can't talk you out of this. It's a great life.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "What'd I say? / Mmm...noodle soup. / How's that different?", "c": ["Joey", "Casting Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Mmm...noodle soup. Damn it!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "I mean, I have patches all over my body, you know? I mean, I haven't slept in two days. / We quit yesterday.", "c": ["Rachel", "Kim"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "That's counting today.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Busted! Come on! What are you doing? I thought we were the Patch Sisters.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Cup hat, cup banner, cup chandelier, and the thing that started it all: the cup!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Mystical.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "No one's eating my food. They're eating her snow cones!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "What? My birthday is not for another month. / That's the surprise.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "I mean, Chandler's birthday is even before mine. / Surprise!", "c": ["Rachel", "Everyone"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "What's in your hand? / Money. I'm stealing all the money.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "But just one, okay? Because nobody knows when my birthday is.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "They were menthol.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "What kind of an actor can't even say, 'Mmm...noodle soup'?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "It's not that I'm a bad actor. No, it's just that I care so damn much about little Ben that it was more important for me to see him succeed.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Rachel Smokes"}, {"t": "Made a few calls, pulled some strings...and they'll seat us if we both have chicken and don't get dessert.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "If that was true, gym class would've been more interesting.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Oh, it's in the back. The duck pissed him off. He said that eggs came first.", "c": ["Caitlin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "First of all, the impression? Uncanny.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "But don't you think it should be called Order and Law?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "No, because they arrest the guy and then try him. Yeah. Don't get me started on that.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Sounds like someone wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Ha, ha, Ross, we broke up two years ago. You've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "We don't need her measurements. Ha, ha. Pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "And when she does, I will turn on the charm 'au' Ross.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English. Ha, ha, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I weighed, like, 27 pounds when I was born.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Oh, uh, Joey's grandmother's right there. The one who speaks English? The one who doesn't.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Wow, Pheebs, you speak Italian? I guess so.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Oh, what, you want both of them? Ha, ha.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "No. No. You lent me Monica's earrings? I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff. Why not? Because I lose her stuff!", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "If you said, 'Big lima bean bubbling up,' would she know the difference?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Oh, I just can't watch. It's too scary. It's a diaper commercial. Oh, yeah, well, you know me. Babies, responsibilities...", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better, uh...I happen to like 8-year-old boys.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "What? Oh, I mean... No, no, no. The, uh...Your hair. Before. Your hair. You said you thought your hair looked like an 8-year-old boy's...and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "You understand, I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Uh, no. No, it bothered me when he slept with other women.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "And thank you for that. But I never had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Oh. No, you're right. We met, you flirted and then, bam, nine years later, you had me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "And not the one on the menu.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Okay, that is the one we already have.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Oh, what is it? Uh, they cut me out of the show.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Not likely. Because you see that body bag right there? Yeah. I'm in it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Oh, uh, soon. I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! No. Sam Waterston! Oh, no, no. That's me. That's me! No. Sam Waterston. Crime Misdemeanor, Capricorn One. She doesn't know 'hello,' but she knows Capricorn One.", "c": ["Joey", "Nonnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "All right, I already didn't gave them back to you. That's what I said.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, Chandler has a jewelry box? Okay, we have 10 minutes. Do you want me to get into that now?", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "You and those, uh, vegetables have a real, uh...thing going on, huh?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Do you like it? No. That would be, 'Why are you being cute?'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Oh! I did not get that.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Okay, let me get this straight. It's okay for you to flirt, but not for me? Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep. All guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "So, you're old and small.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "All right, well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it, you lost it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff! First it's my jewelry. If it's not that, it's my sweater. And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Gas? Wow, ha, ha. Intense.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "They put that in. What? The gas is odorless. But they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.", "c": ["Ross", "Caitlin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Oh, the humanity.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Was I talking to her about gas? More so than anything else.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Hey, hey. Don't worry about it. In nine years, she and I will be right there! Ha, ha.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "What else do they add smell to?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! That was flirting? Yeah. Wow.", "c": ["Caitlin", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Well, we have seven people and 10 pizzas. What do you think?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "All right, back off! I got a gun! I'm not afraid to use it. Oh, Joey. That's right, Nonnie. You couldn't have at least changed your shirt?", "c": ["Joey", "Nonnie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "And she's supposed to buy this?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "What about these? Do these look the same? Definitely. Not as each other.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "My boyfriend really does have great taste.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "The One Where Ross Cant Flirt"}, {"t": "Hey, man. What's up? / Just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Oh, Ross! Look, look! / What? Where? / Right over there! There! Look, look, look! / What am I looking at? / Somebody help me out here.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross", "others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "He let me ride around with him. We saw and prevented crimes.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Really? You? / Yeah. / Well, it's kind of dangerous. / Well, I like danger.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "You didn't say it was gonna be at nighttime.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "I've broken them down into categories. We got holidays, birthdays, candids... And I've cross-referenced them by subject.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "So if you're looking up, say... birthdays and dogs, you get photo 152. See? Oh, it's me and LePoo.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "You can also find him under 'dog' and 'dead'.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Good thing you numbered them. / I hadn't. Photo 152 was a prototype.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Ross has the blender. / Everything's just falling apart.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "No. While you're at Ross', if you see any lying around. / What? / I don't do that.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Okay, but it is officially nighttime.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Want me to grab the berry? / It's called a cherry. / It's called... Chandler!", "c": ["Joey", "Gary", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "You can't eat that in my car. / Even though my tax dollars paid for this car. / Your tax dollars?", "c": ["Gary", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Did I say you could smell it? / I can't smell it? / Half the taste is in the smell. You're sucking up all the taste units.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Okay, I'll give them back.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Imagine the best sex you ever had. / Are you thinking about Monica? / Yeah. / What's that like?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Please don't be from a real dinosaur. Please, please. Please, please. / 'Made in Mexico.' Yes!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Who would buy this?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "So all we had was ice? / See if he has ice.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "You gonna squeeze the perp's shoes a bit before he lawyers up? / He's a witness, not a perp. And no one talks like that.", "c": ["Joey", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Yeah. No one talks like that. / Oh, what, like you're Mr. Cop? / I'm more cop than you two.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "I'm in the front seat, okay? I'm Gary's partner. / When you say 'partner', it doesn't sound cop. It sounds gay.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Hey, Gary. Who am I? / Phone home.", "c": ["Ross", "Gary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors. / What's up with that, Serpico?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "What if Ross hears that and calls her and they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily who wouldn't let him see you?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Look, I'm his sister and I love him. I don't want to see him get hurt. / Doesn't that give me the right to control... / Help him?", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Break up their marriage on their wedding day? Who would do that? / ... / Okay, fine. All right. But that was different.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Your messages have been erased. / No!", "c": ["answering machine", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "What is it? / It says you can't sue if you scrape your knee or get your head blown off.", "c": ["Chandler", "Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Oh, hurry up. I want to sign that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "What is he doing? What the hell is he doing? / What is it? / Is everything okay? / What? / He sees us. Don't move. And don't look at him!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross", "Gary"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Hey, look at that. You tried to save your buddy. / You see that? You see what he did?", "c": ["Gary", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Maybe that's Emily leaving the exact same message.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Hey, Ross, it's you. I just want you to remember this feeling. You are lucky to be alive. So live every day to the fullest. Love yourself, okay? And also get stamps. Bye.", "c": ["Ross (on machine)"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Play that message for Emily, and this problem goes away.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Anybody want to meet a hero? / John Glenn is here? / No. Joey.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "It was a car backfire. / But he didn't know that. / Yeah, I didn't know that. / It could just as easily have been a bullet.", "c": ["Gary", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Ever think about joining the force? We could use a guy like you. / Who jumps at loud noises.", "c": ["Gary", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "If the car that backfired had run over you!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "You know what? If I heard a shot right now, I'd throw my body on you. / Maybe we should walk in a bad neighborhood.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "I'd hate to save your life and kick your ass on the same day.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You hate Ross! / I don't hate Ross. / Of course, you do. I saved him. You're mad at me. It adds up.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "You know? I mean, Ross needs help. He's not 'street' like us.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "All right, look. I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was trying to save my sandwich.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "From a bullet? / I know it doesn't make much sense. / 'Much' sense?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Look, it was instinct! I just went for it. / You risked your life for a sandwich? / I know it sounds crazy... but this is the greatest sandwich in the world!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "So you didn't choose Ross before me? / No. I would never do that. You're like my brother.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Here. / Thanks. / Easy, it's not a hot dog!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "You're showing me how much I mean to you. / With a bite. / Jeez!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "You are in our apartment all the time! This is just a drop in the bucket, mister!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had an actual near-death experience. / What happened? / We were on the ride-along with Gary and somebody took a shot at me! / Really? / No. A car backfired.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "That was not a near-death experience. That was barely an experience. / You weren't there!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Hey, was Monica here? / I want my money back. / You probably need that for stamps, right?", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "I wonder how I'd react under fire. And not backfire... but heavy fire. Like, if I was in a war. Man, I would be great in a war! I think I'd make a fantastic military leader. I mean, I know I'd make general before any of you guys.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Before or after you were shot by your own troops?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "I know Joey would be in the foxhole protecting all of us. / If the foxhole was lined with sandwiches.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "Yeah, hero sandwiches.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "You all know I'm a pacifist, so I'm not interested in war in any way. But when the revolution comes, I'll have to destroy you all. Not you, Joey.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Ride Along"}, {"t": "I can't pull off \"baby doll\", can I?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "No, I think we learned that from the \"sugar lips\" incident.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "How you doing, pumpkin?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Because she cries when they die. Then there's the whole funeral.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Right? Because it's fast. Because it's so fast. It's fast.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Relax. It's Phoebe, not you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "I'll ask you to talk to him!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Because you are so afraid of commitment. You talk to him. Make him scared like you, make him a man.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "I'm less afraid of commitment than I used to be. That is so sweet. Still terrified.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "That's why they call it Staten \"Island\".", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Oh, I thought it was like Long Island. Also an island.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "We haven't dropped this ball for an hour. I realized it a half-hour ago, but I didn't say anything. I didn't wanna jinx it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "That's the first time I've ever missed a meal. I think my pants are a little loose.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "You bought Shaun Cassidy!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "What is it? What the hell is that? It's a cat. That is not a cat!", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Why is it inside out?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Thousand bucks. On a cat? It's not a cat!", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Free cats do that too, you know. It's not a cat!", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "What am I gonna call her? Fluffy?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Man, I didn't think we'd make it. I know. Don't switch hands, okay?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Hey, ladies. What are you in here for?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be living together.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "You get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh, yes, she's there.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "I know. I can't wait! Were your parents happy or something?", "c": ["Gary", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Move in with her. Move in right now. Maybe I'll move in with Monica.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "No, it's too soon for you guys. You're right about that.", "c": ["Gary", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "How do you know? You don't have a watch.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't know... Yeah, can't do it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "I won't make it in to work today. I don't feel very good. For a second, I thought I was feeling better, but I'm not.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Congratulations. That's quite a waste of time.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Don't worry, it's not a cat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "I dragged a string, and it flipped out and scratched the hell out of me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Every time this cat hisses at me... I know it's saying, 'Rachel!'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Doesn't sound as crazy as paying $1000 for a cat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "You paid $1000 for a cat when you owe me $300? Well, I was gonna let you play with it.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do... and you can't even do that right!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "No, if you're not moving forward, you're staying still. And staying still is good. Watch this.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Which is why my answer is yes!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "What? He's a dropper.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. That's right! I'm not a dropper!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Don't worry, guys. It's not a cat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Baking it didn't help?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Maybe that's because she's a minion of the Antichrist.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "What am I gonna do? Get 1000 regular cats?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "The cat's made my eyes water. Don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Yeah, you almost overreacted to something.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "You're not more excited than I am. No way. I'm the most excited.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Don't forget about the moving-in!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Plus think of all the money I'll save on stamps.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "I heard when people live together... they split the cost of stamps, don't they?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Sorry, the oven mitts really freaked me out.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "If it has a pool. I need a pool.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Oh, are these for rent? I thought people were just bragging.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Yes, fine! I am someone!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Let's live in an apartment we both live in.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Hey, you! Behind the glass. Who are you looking at?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "I always wanted to say that every time I was in these rooms, which was never.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Then what are you doing to me?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Oh, terrific! That'll be $2,000.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "I do, but you'll have to look at this as more of an investment than a cat.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "So $800, and I don't call the cops because you are robbing me blind! Blind! Just take the cat. Leave the money. Run away!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Yeah, $1500. You made a profit?", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "So is this some kind of snake or something?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Gary's such a great guy. You can work it out. He shot a bird. That is over.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "She's not an official ball player. Only official ball players can drop the ball.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "How did I get this reputation as a dropper? I am anything but a dropper. Ross!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Ball"}, {"t": "Richard? I'm not gonna go see your ex-boyfriend.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Richard, that's all I ever hear. Richard, Richard, Richard.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Since we've been going out, I think I've mentioned his name twice. Okay. So Richard, Richard.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Any time anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's... she, like, freaks out. Watch.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Me, myself and eye.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "All those in favor, say 'eye.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 3.65, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "How much did I love The King and 'Eye.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 3.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "You okay there, man? Yeah. I got too excited.", "c": ["Unknown", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Why are you so mad at him? Look, I don't wanna talk about it, okay? Well, it seems like... You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking.", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Has anyone seen my list, by the way?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Uh, no. What's it look like? Um, a piece of paper and it says 'Ross.' I see.", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Yeah, um, I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in, like, a day, right? And then she disappears. But I find out where she lives. And when I get there, this old lady answers the door. I say, 'Where's Betsy?' Right? And she says, 'Betsy's been dead 10 years.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Ooh. Chilling.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. My grandmother's dead.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Well, uh, we can talk about that too, Pheebs.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "No, no, her cab. She probably won't be using it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are we gonna do about my job? Oh, uh, not go. All right, great. Road trip, baby.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Look what I did. I mean, look at this mess. I mean, we're gonna probably have to clean this up, you know? I mean, we're gonna have to reschedule.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "If you thought that this mess was gonna bother me, you are wrong. All right, let's go, Blinky.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Ooh, if you take the north route, there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "But on the southern route, there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Well, back to square one.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Rather sleep with Monica or Rachel? Monica. Oh. I always thought it'd be Rachel.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Beard of bees here I come.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Who would you rather sleep with, Monica or Rachel?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 3.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Dude, you are sick.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Oh. I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Uh, that's an eye removal machine. All right, I'm out of here.", "c": ["Doctor", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Extended eye test sequence with Rachel repeatedly fleeing", "c": ["Rachel", "Doctor", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "You're young. You probably don't have glaucoma.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "I guess we'll see you back here in three months. Great. And I'll fit you for a glass eye.", "c": ["Doctor", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "P-E-C-F-D. Very good, Monica.", "c": ["Doctor", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "And you don't get one.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is 100 percent better. They're still in my coat.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "What? I love you.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "So we don't have a real big budget. I figured I'd just stay in your room.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "For every dollar Shutterspeed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Did you not hear the plot of the movie? 'She's been dead for 10 years.' I'm gonna be a millionaire.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Oh, honey, I'll say goodbye to you at the car if you don't mind the pus.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "But wait a minute. The pus is good. It means it's healing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Extended sequence of Phoebe ignoring Ross", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Well, if you don't know, I can't help you. Well, I don't know. Well, I can't help you.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Bye, fat ass.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "But I am sorry about the 'fat ass' thing, because you actually have a very sweet little heinie.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "We've been driving for a half-hour. And you haven't looked at the road once. Don't worry. It's out there.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Is this movie gonna be my big break? No. What? Yes. Dude, you said no.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Wait. Wait. There's no sidewalk. Yeah. I'm gonna die here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "You know, 'whom, whom.' Sometimes it's 'who.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm the baby. Hey. Stop it.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "All I said was that, uh, I didn't think this was gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't gonna do anything for him, and that it didn't sound like a real movie. Okay, he should've pushed me off the bridge.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Who wants the teddy bear with one leg?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "My pillow's all wet. Well, you said it was practice.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You really are freakishly strong.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "If Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests. Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Oh, that's my grandma. And thanks, Joey. She's having a really great time.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "I wonder where I could get a basket of porn? Oh, no, don't say I'm sorry with porn.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "You know what you should send him? A carton of cigarettes. Because that way he can trade it for protection. No. That's prison.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Why are you mad at me? You said I was boring. Oh.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing. You said I was boring. And then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Okay, there's a chance this may have been a dream.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "It's probably just temporary. We're hoping to get more money soon, so if you could just, uh, hang out. Hang out? How long? I don't know. A week. Maybe two. The money'll turn up.", "c": ["Director", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Hey, you're not rich, are you? No. Worth a shot.", "c": ["Director", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot. Enjoy your stay at Caesar's. We hope it's toga-rific. Ugh. Kill me. Kill me now.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Final eye drop wrestling sequence", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation", "callback"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Joeys Big Break"}, {"t": "Phoebe, could you get that, please? -Why? Just because you're too lazy to get up off your tushy?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "No, it's just that all the people in the world I would want to talk to are right here.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Sucker.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "I scratched it on the ATM machine on the corner.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "My stunt double. Yeah. He's getting a little too familiar for my tastes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "What was that? -Entertainment Tonight.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Which Richard? -The Richard. Richard Simmons? Oh, my God!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Okay, that actually makes more sense.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "That's weird. I dreamed you had lunch with Richard. -Really? -Again, Richard Simmons.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Wow, I owe Rachel 20 bucks. On a totally different bet.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "We can call it our 'Plane-aversary.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Do we have to?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Plus, we get to have our own 'Anna-Vegas-ry'! 'Anna-vada-versary!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "I think we should see other people.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "You won't ditch me like you did with London. Ditch you? You were pregnant", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Art lover.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Was that supposed to be an insult? -I don't know, I'm very tired.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "To walk around naked. No, so I can be by myself. Have a little alone time. Naked alone time.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Why does it takes me so long to answer the door?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Las Vegas, 1. London, 0.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Happy Plane-aversary.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "How about 'I did forget the present, forgive me' not fake-out?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Simmons. Go with Simmons.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Okay, London, 1. This is gonna be a real horserace.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Check me out. I'm in my kitchen... naked. I'm picking up an orange. I'm naked.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! That's Rachel, naked!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Unless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "The physical act of love.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Oh, wow. I'm sorry. But, Ross, you kicked off your shoes.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "For ninety-nine cents I'd eat you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Love your condoms, my man.", "c": ["Random person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Monica had lunch with Richard. -Dawson?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Now, I'm just letting you know... this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "But it was a first for the rest of my building.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Hey, lady! I don't care how much you want it, okay? I am not gonna have sex with you in the bathroom!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "If I won $5000, I'd join a gym. Build up my upper body... and hit Richard from behind with a stick.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Yeah! Las Vegas! Number one!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "My identical hand twin!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "You sure you weren't looking at your hands in a mirror?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "How much would you pay to see this hand... twice?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Oh, you're so lucky!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "And you're Bob Saget.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Dance karate? Yes, it's a deadly... but beautiful sport.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "None of you will live with me in my hand-shaped mansion. Except you. You can live in the thumb.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "He said he thought I was funny.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Ross, I am a human doodle!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "You dirty lurker!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "This hand is your hand, This hand is my hand, Oh, wait, that's your hand, No, wait, it's my hand", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "You roll another hard eight... and we get married here tonight. Shut up!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "What time? Maybe we can share a cab.", "c": ["Old Lady"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Sells drugs to kids.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "My name is Regina Falangie. I'm a businesswoman in town on business.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it to you!", "c": ["Dealer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Well, hello, Mr. Rachel!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Vegas"}, {"t": "Let me guess. Um, Pancho Villa.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "And you're Bob Saget.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! You drew on me?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Whoa, what kind of party was this?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Rach, wait. The men's room is that way.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Mole people?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Kills you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "That's how she paid for my dance... Karate lessons.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Dance karate? Yes, it's a deadly... but beautiful sport.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "I took it off, and then I drew it back on.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.8, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Who's your friend? He's hot. Thanks, man.", "c": ["Chandler", "Hand Twin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "None of you will live with me in my hand-shaped mansion. Except, uh, you. You can live in the thumb.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Oh, come on. I was there. I know he's the love of your life.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Um, he said he thought I was funny.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Ross, I am a human doodle!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "There are tons of freaks here. No other. No.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "There was some staring and pointing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Nope.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Get out of here, you lurker! Go on, get!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "She couldn't live without the 'Chand love.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "This hand is your hand, This hand is my hand, Oh, wait, that's your hand, No, wait, it's my hand", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "I look like my great-aunt, Muriel.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Which is what we play to at this casino!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "A new pair of shoes for the Chan-Chan man!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Pick a number! That is your only job.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Thank you, Mr. Drunken Gambler.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Because I had lunch with Rich... Me neither!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "You roll another hard eight... and we get married here, tonight.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Shut up!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "It just got interesting!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "You look that way, I look this way.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "It's your call.", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "I wouldn't want you to lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day... till Monday... because that's when I go home.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "What time? Maybe we can share a cab.", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Oh, I forgot to dial.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Joey lives with a duck.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Sir, you've got a little something...", "c": ["Hotel Staff"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Sells drugs to kids.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "I won't go back to that hellhole!", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "I have a condom in my wallet that I've had since I was 12.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "We'll bring it back. Put it under your dress.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Hello. My name is Regina Phalange.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. May I just say that you gentlemen have the exact same hands?", "c": ["Phoebe as Regina"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it to you!", "c": ["Hand Twin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "I'm your hand twin!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "No, it's the graduation song.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Hello, Mrs. Ross! Well, hello, Mr. Rachel!", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "\"Friends\" The One In Vegas: Part 2"}, {"t": "Hello, Mrs. Ross. Well, hello, Mr. Rachel.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "I don't think they're as much dating as they are... two bottles of vodka walking around in human form.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "If you marry in Vegas, you're only married in Vegas.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Do you have any clothes on? Yes. Really? No.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "I remember laughing. I laughed a lot. Then we didn't have sex.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Too depressed to eat. I'll probably eat in, like, five minutes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Are you asking me to have a 'frienaissance'?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "It's a buffet, man.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Why wasn't I invited? And who was gonna be your best man? Don't say Ross. Do not say Ross.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Tell her she's not marriage material. Girls say it to me all the time. And if she's anything like me, she's just gonna be relieved.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "We were just talking about bacon. No, we were talking about tennis. Tennis is more believable.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Now, I'm drunk right now. I can't have a mimosa with breakfast? I'm on vacation.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Yeah, that guy's finally gonna be able to put in that pool.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Ross, I don't think surgery is the answer here.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Your thing. You're the guy who gets divorced. Yes, you do. This is your third divorce. You love divorce so much, you're probably gonna marry it... and then it won't work out, so you're gonna have to divorce it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "I'm so drunk.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Eight we get married... but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, we don't get married.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Last night I rolled a hard eight. It was the wrong kind of eight. No wedding! Damn it! I wanted it so bad!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "We've been on the road for 6 hours, and you've been asleep for 5 and a half.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Are my eyes open? No!", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "I thought that the boxes were far away from each other.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "You are asking me to be your wife. And as my wife, I think you should grant me this favor.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Don't you think I asked him that before he got in?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "And, you, are you a rapist? No. Do you like car games?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Hitchhiker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "I came up with an analogy about a little goldfish... in a pond that freezes over in the winter... but I realized that was a story about what to do when people pick on you. So I'm gonna actually save that for my children's book.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "This is not a marriage! This is the world's worst hangover!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Hey, hey... is there any such thing as an annulment shower?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "I have your name and the fact that you're a drifter. So ball's pretty much in your court.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "That's not fair. You know I can't resist that beautiful voice.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "So I will strive to stay awake for as long as I know you. You can still sleep at night and stuff.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Is it a meatball sub? That is incredible! You are the master!", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Don't say it! Don't even think it. Chandler, enjoy your handful.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Go unpack. It's been three days, and it drives me insane!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Door hasn't been locked in five years, but okay.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "The key broke in the lock, and I can't get in. Wait. Oh, my God, I can't get out! This isn't a sign! No, it's a very old key!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Are you hugging the door right now? No. Yeah, yeah, me neither.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "No, thanks. I've already seen one.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "What? We're still married. Don't tell Rachel. See you later.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Nice job, Joe. You're quite the craftsman!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Vegas"}, {"t": "Want to hear something weird? Always. I didn't get the annulment.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "What? We're still married. Don't tell Rachel. See you later.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "There's a cab. Taxi! That's great. What timing! My God, huh? There you go. We're gonna walk. It's right at the Angelika. The Angelika! Go! Go!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Three divorces! Three divorces! Yes, in that high voice.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Don't worry about that. Your tombstone can say whatever you want. It can say, 'Ross Geller: Good at Marriage.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "You know? Mine's gonna say, 'Phoebe Buffay: Buried Alive.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Rachel is one of my closest friends. But being the only one that knows about this makes me feel special. Okay.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Okay, stop, stop! Phoebe? Hey, Rach! What was that? Sorry. Mix-up.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "You'd better hurry. The Angelika! Go!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "No, when it comes to sweets, he's surprisingly strict.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "No, I keep trying. And I can get out, 'Joey, I have to..' Then I lose my nerve and I finish with, 'go to the bathroom.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "He may think I'm sick.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "That's how it'll work now? You'll just order me around? -Pretty much. -All right.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "We have something to tell you. Oh, my God! You're pregnant! No!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "I'm really happy for you guys. Congratulations. See you later.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "I gotta go. I've got an acting job. Like you'd believe that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Maybe that's now.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "He's a terrible roommate. Terrible. He forgets to... He always, he always... Who am I kidding? He's the best roommate!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Oh, look, here's an article about people who marry people and don't tell them. -Really? -Yeah, I'm reading Ross Geller Magazine.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "You're pregnant. No! Chandler and I are moving in together.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 4.62, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "But if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint, Phoebe.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Oh, my little sister and my best friend... shacking up.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Big day, huh? People moving in. People getting annulled.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "If you see her, give her some really bad news, so mine doesn't seem so bad.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "My life is an embarrassment. I should just go live under somebody's stairs.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "The only guys below me will be Four-Divorce Guy... Murderer Guy... and geologists.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Hi. My friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time. But wouldn't you date him? And if you wait right here, I'll go get Ross.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Listen, for the first four years of my work, everybody called me...", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Well, I still think you're very, very nice and very pretty. What? All yours, babe.", "c": ["Stranger", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "The three of us are gonna have such a good time living together! Yes, we are.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Chandler, you'll have to watch those long showers you take... because you know Racquel can't be late.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Come and knock on our door / We'll be waiting for you", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "First marriage: Wife's hidden sexuality. Not my fault. Second marriage: Said the wrong name at the altar. A little my fault. Third marriage: They shouldn't let you get married when you're drunk and have writing on your face. Nevada's fault.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "The divorces don't bother me. I'd date him. But not while he's still married.", "c": ["Stranger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "It's just that he's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.", "c": ["Stranger"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "And I have loved her in the past... but now, she is just my wife.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "We were drunk! I would've married Joey with that amount of alcohol. You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Now he's using this three-divorces reason... because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, well done. Bravo, Meg.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "She means nothing to me. Nothing! Okay, now I wouldn't date you because you seem a little creepy.", "c": ["Ross", "Stranger"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "I am so attracted to him right now.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "You just said.. Of course you're my best friend.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Are you pregnant? No, but I'm throwing this shirt away.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. That's funny. I can't believe I did that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Oh, I guess it really is concentrated.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "No more Joey and Chan's. No more J and C's. Want to go to Joey and Chandler's? Can't. It's not there.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Don't you remember that night, it was late and I was feeling sick... and you said I would feel better tomorrow?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "What the hell is that? That's disgusting.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "And you're upset because you didn't make your best friend cry?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Yes. Second in two years. Third, overall.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years... and never have I had so much business from one client.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Have you considered therapy? I think just the annulment for today.", "c": ["Lawyer", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "What about someone who looks like Rachel? I will think about the therapy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "What is that? I don't know.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "An era is defined as a significant period of time. It was significant for me. Maybe it wasn't significant to you!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "It's just a little hard to believe. What's hard to believe? I mean, it's you guys. You do this kind of stuff, you know? You were gonna get married in Vegas, and then you backed out.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Really? Yeah, sweetie. You mean, we're not gonna live together anymore? Oh, my God. I'm gonna miss you so much.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "So did you get the annulment? I couldn't. I knew it. Because you love Rachel.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "I've never been more convinced of your love for her.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "So Ross and Rachel got married. Monica and Chandler almost got married. You think we should hook up? Oh, we do. But not just yet.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Well, first Chandler and Monica will get married... and be filthy rich, by the way. But it won't work out.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Then I'll marry Chandler for the money. And you'll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids. Great. But then we ditch them and we get married.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "We'll have Chandler's money and Rachel's kids. Getting custody will be easy because of Rachel's drinking problem.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "What about Ross? I don't want to go into the whole thing. But we have words and I kill him.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.67, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel"}, {"t": "Joey's been holding his breath for almost four minutes.", "c": ["Unknown friend"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "You trying to kill me?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Since I'm moving out, and you're so beautiful... how about I move in with you?", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Who's Denise? My roommate. Your roommate? Yes, Denise. Denise!", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Because you never listen to what I say. I talk about her all the time. Denise!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "You know about naked Thursdays, right?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Hey! I thought naked Thursdays was just our thing, man.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "She took it really well. -You didn't tell her, did you? -No.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Not in your case, 'Lovey Loverson.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "I was a friend being a friend to a friend.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Use the word 'friend' more.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Ninety percent of a woman's pheromones come out of her head. That's why women are shorter.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Come on, Ross, you're a scientist.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "coconutty.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "If the place you're referring to is being in love... she is in the same place as me, because I am not in that place.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "I didn't understand that. Maybe that's because you were speaking the secret language of love.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "I don't know. How about 'Thanks for taking the message'?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "And comment cards so people could tell us how great their stay was.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "for $200. The real ones. The big, big, big ones!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Interesting idea. But no.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Which is why Asteroids is perfect. It's the oldest game.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Wanted: Female roommate, nonsmoker, nonugly.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "than a girl who is 19?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Not just a hatrack, my friend.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "-This one? -It worked!", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Yeah, but it's on the ground floor.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago... killing, but perfectly preserving, an entire civilization.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "You love her again. You re-love her.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "I do not re-love her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Wow, I'm so happy for you guys. This is so, so, not stupid.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Hero? I don't know. Well, all right.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "And that's how she ended up living with me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Okay, that's a lie. -You don't have a roommate. -Denise!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "No one ever listens to me!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Now I have you. No, not that I think I have you... or think of you as property in any sort of way.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Stop it, Chandler.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "You're taking them away from their home.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "I'll get up in the morning, put on your clothes and go off to work!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "In the game room!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "I wouldn't want to ruin the ambiance over here at grandma's place!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "That thing was a hazard! I'm very safety conscious.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Tell her to stop being silly.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "But we also have a soft spot for the love. -Love is the best medicine. -That's 'laughter.'", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "'Come back later. I'm getting lucky.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Yeah, I didn't think of that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "And unfortunately, this room could destroy you!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Someone's killed Square Man!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Because that's you and I together. 'Merge!'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "I love that! -Really? 'No!'", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Is that what I want? Yes.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Thursday's clearly not good for you. Pick a day!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "-Kitten? -Sorry!", "c": ["Potential roommate", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Denial"}, {"t": "Monica, which of all of this kitchen stuff is mine? / This bottle opener. / -And...? -And it's a magnet.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "How weird is that? You're moving in with me... and you have the one thing I don't have. It's like, in a way, you complete me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "You complete me kitchen, matey!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "I know what you're thinking. That she'll move in with you, then fall in love with you, and then... when she finds out you're already married, she'll be happy.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "You know? You're just very sad.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "I see what this is. You are in love with Rachel! It all adds up! You're obsessed with her. It's always: 'What will you do about Rachel? Why are you moving in with Rachel? When will you confess your secret marriage to Rachel?' You want her!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Saved by the bell.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Aren't these candlesticks mine? / No, I bought those. / Oh, right. I forgot. / That you're a liar!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "That was the head of the paleontology department... at N... Y... U.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "-They loved it. -Well, who wouldn't?", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "How great would that look on the mailbox? Professor Geller. Professor and Mrs.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "And Mrs.? / You and Ross are still married. / What? / Just kidding!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Saved your ass.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "You know that psychic I see? She told me I'm gonna die this week, so I'm bummed.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "She'd say that to you? / You don't believe her, do you? / I don't know. She said that I'd have triplets... but she also said one of them would be black.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Just out of curiosity, did she say how you'd go? / She didn't tell me I'd die till the end of the session. I wasn't gonna waste a whole other hour there! I've only got a week left. I've really gotta start living now!", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "This is it. This is what's gonna kill me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "I never seen a guy stare so hard at something that didn't have chicks on it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Open with a joke? It's a university, not a comedy club. / Wait a minute, hold the phone. You're not talking about Chuckles University?", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "-You know what's a good visual aid? -Don't say naked chicks.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "That's the way I did it till I was 19. / All right, 20. / Twenty-three.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "It's probably a residual check. / 'Benefits lapsed.' That's weird. I don't remember being in a movie called Benefits Lapsed.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "When I had insurance, I could get hit by a bus... or catch on fire, you know? And it wouldn't matter. Now I gotta be careful?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "There's never a good time to have to... stop catching on fire.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Hey, you're still alive!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "How are you feeling? / It's so exhausting, waiting for death.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Preparing you for.. Didn't you think I was dead? Did that not come off? / Yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought we'd lost you forever.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "I liked them so much that I bought some for myself. / They're really great, aren't they? / I love them. / Nice try.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "I didn't need any jokes or naked chicks either.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Everyone's all, 'Ross, you have to be funny and sexy.' Well, I proved them wrong! / -That you're not funny or sexy? -That's right!", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Joey Tribbiani. So you came back, huh? They think they can do better, but they all... come crawling back to Estelle.", "c": ["Estelle", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "What are you talking about? I never left you. You've always been my agent. / Really? / Oh, well, no harm no foul.", "c": ["Joey", "Estelle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "All right, first thing we gotta do: damage control. / -Why? / Well, I think... someone out there... may have been bad-mouthing you all over town. / The bastard!", "c": ["Estelle", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Hey, sisters. / Wow, we really are bitches.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "What he believed to be igneous was, in fact, sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when.. / Oh, bloody hell.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "That's great, but shouldn't you be on the toilet right now?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before. And then I passed out... and I haven't been able to stand up since. But I don't think it's anything serious.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "If I go to the doctor, it'll be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! / That's a hernia.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Why'd I have to start working out again? Damn you, 15s!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Look, I was nervous. You guys had me all worried I was gonna be boring. I got up there and they were all, like, staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Yeah, and not a very good one.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "You can have an accent, but I can't? / Top of the morning to you, laddies! / Would you just please stop? / Yes, yes, Bombay is very, very nice this time of year.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Besides, it's getting darker and more painful. That means it's healing.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Besides, when my insurance kicks in... I can get all the free operations I want. I'll probably start with that laser eye surgery.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Joey's got a hernia, but it's nothing a little laser eye surgery won't fix.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Hey, maybe you'll die! / Chandler, I'm scared. / No, we can go together. Just don't wait too long, because I'm out of here sometime before Friday.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Wait. Could I come back and haunt Monica and Rachel when they're in the shower? / -That's my girlfriend. -Hey, I'm dead!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Just wanna each take one? / Yeah, that seems fair. We never use them.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Why don't you call Mummy and Daddy?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Why don't you phase it out? Yeah, phase the accent out. People will think you're adjusting to life in America.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "They're probably not even listening to you. / They're not listening to me? / Of course they're listening to you. / Monica, do you think I should try this phasing-out thing? / I think you look fine.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Hey, Timmy. I've got a surprise... for you. / Hold it. I'm sorry. The surprise is a new swing set. If you could play it less intense.", "c": ["Joey", "Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Hey, Timmy. I've got a surprise for you! / Oh, my God!", "c": ["Joey", "Director"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "The line is, 'Pick up a bag,' so you need to pick up the bag. / Or I could just point to it. / Purina One. Point to a bag today.", "c": ["Director", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Hello, Ross? This is Dr. McNeely from the Fake Accent University. We'd like you to come onboard full-time!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "My reading was wrong. I'm not going to die. / Really? How do you know? / My psychic is dead! She must have read the cards wrong.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "And thanks again for helping me take a shower. / Now, is that 'never talking about it again'?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "As you can see, my hands are not in my pants.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "One thing, is it all right if I scream... right up until you say, 'Action'? / Sure.", "c": ["Joey", "Director"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Yes, this is Russell, Ross' divorce lawyer. Since I haven't heard from him, I assume he's giving the marriage a try.", "c": ["Russell"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "What's happening to your accent?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "All right. I'm not English. I'm from Long Island. I was really nervous, and the accent... just came out. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Ross! Are you crazy? I am still your wife? Were you just never gonna tell me? What the hell is wrong with you? I could just kill you!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "Well, hello, Rachel!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "We're just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "See? Now let's try one without the helmet.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance"}, {"t": "When? After the birth of our first secret child?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "At what point did you think this was a successful marriage?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Maybe it's best not to think about it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Another lie. You have a sickness!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "For my own peace of mind, are you married to any more of us?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I make 4 bucks an hour. I saved up for 350 years.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I didn't realize till I got home. I wasn't gonna walk back with one shoe.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "By the way, they're not actually puppies. They're Frank and Alice's triplets.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I'm gonna pass, because I was kind of iffy when it was puppies.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "It'll give us great practice for when... people with babies come to visit.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Nice car. / It's not mine. / I love your car. / Yeah. It's mine.", "c": ["Woman", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "It's got them!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "December 26th. Maybe she's Santa Claus.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Oh, look who it is. My husband, the apple of my eye.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Sure, if you say you'll take care of it, I have no reason to doubt you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Okay, Rach, but-- / You're peeping!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Oh, I am so mad, Ross! I don't think I've ever been this angry!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "What about when I said we were on a break?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Little Baby Girl Chandler. Where have I heard that before? Oh, Coach Rubin.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "We should really be playing a zone defense. / Things'll go smoother if we each have a zone.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I'll be in charge of looking at how cute they are when they put their hands... / Sounds great, but you should be in charge of wiping.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, this is not what I ordered.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Shocking, since you still have the keys.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "What equity investments? / The ones that got me the Porsche. Will you keep up?", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I know. Once there was a dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it. / And? / And six others.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "But it's my car. / Yeah, but it's my wax.", "c": ["Car Owner", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Yeah, two hours, a lifetime, that's the same.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "That thing could put someone's eye out. / He can do more than that. He can destroy the universe.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Also, look at his smooth area. That's just gonna mess them up.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, my mom used to throw me into a pile of broken glass. / What? / Glass, sand, whatever.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I wonder when you stop putting both legs behind your head. / I can still do that. / How are you still single?", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I swallowed his sonic blaster gun. / How did that happen? / I was trying to prove that I was right.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "This whole time we were concentrating on the babies... and no one was watching Chandler!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "What? / Yes. Heroin and crack. / Crack isn't even an intravenous drug. / Well, you would know.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Ross, please. I found the magazines.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Well, that makes sense since you're gay and addicted to heroin.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I'll consummate this marriage right here, right now!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "And when we were dating, we consummated like bunnies.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Strike 'consummated like bunnies' from the record.", "c": ["Court Reporter"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Well, yes. We got married in Vegas. / And the names, I think.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Stop typing! / Stop typing, stop typing!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Okay, do you see what you're keeping me married to?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Lady, here's the deal. I came here for an annulment, and I'm not leaving here until I get one! / Would you like a night in jail? / Thank you for your time.", "c": ["Rachel", "Judge"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "But you found the keys to his clothes?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Of course. Only an idiot would wear this stuff if he didn't have the car. / That is true.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun. / Oh, I've been there.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "You know you don't actually have one. / What are you doing? I'm in character. Will you talk to her?", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "But a doctor won't be able to help him. And it's just gonna... naturally pass through his system in seven years. / I think that's gum. / I'm pretty sure it's gun.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "No! What would Krog do?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Maybe because you've got the keys?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Did a Porsche throw up on you?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "It's 'Porsche-a'!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Because, let's face it, we're at Monica's.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I broke it. All right. Well, that's just the way things go.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Now would be a good time for your first words.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Let's just say, Krog will be equipped to destroy the universe again... in 12 to 14 hours.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "And protected them from a tornado?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Was the setting of Phoebe's triumph.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "And I thought it would be funnier if we got married. / So, as a compromise, we decided first to get married and then... to eat a lot of grapes.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "I gotta say... I know I divorce a lot of women. / Never thought I'd be divorcing you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "And we wouldn't have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. / Did I even treat? / No, it was on the house. It was a newlywed special.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "That may be the most depressing thing I've heard.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "Hi, Joey. / Hey. How you doing? / He has the most amazing Porsche under there. I'd show you, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping.", "c": ["Woman", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Joeys Porsche"}, {"t": "When's it due? -On the first. And that's every month? No, just the months you want to live here.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! That's our phone number.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Joey Tribbiani does not take charity... anymore.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Why don't you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on skits whenever you want.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Well, that would help the pride thing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "And also my birthday. -It's not your birthday. What a mean thing to say! I'd never tell you it wasn't your birthday.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Not if you talk about how you gave up basketball to become a paleontologist.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "And clearly, not a minute sooner.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "What you're wearing is fine for that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Surprise! Don't get mad, because this is what happened. I started packing, then I realized, \"What am I doing?\" I am lousy at packing, right? But you love packing! So as a gift to you on our last night... I'll be coordinator!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't get you anything.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "My God, thank you! Monica's gonna make you pack! She's got jobs for everyone! Now, it's too late for me, but save yourselves!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I have plans with Joey. -You said you were doing nothing. -Yes, but for the last time.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Because I have Ben! It's almost past his bedtime. Where is he? He's at a dinner party.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I gotta go make a fake Ben.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Our last dinner together. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors... you, the food of yours!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Are you crazy? You haven't beaten me since my injury-plagued '97 season.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "What do you say to $50? I say to it: \"50 dollars, you are more than I have.\"", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "The big game. Italy versus... China, apparently.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I guess you weren't there.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "She's perfect.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna miss the fact that you're never allowed to move the phone pen.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Not just the phone pen. I never get my messages. You get your messages. It doesn't count if you have to read them off your hand after you've fallen asleep on the couch.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "So you missed a message from who? Chandler? Or your mom? Or Chandler? Or your mom?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "It worked! No one's sad!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "That's, like, 500 bucks you owe me! Man! Five hundred dollars. That is a lot of electricity, huh?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "No... one can beat me!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "That's why only the little fake men are supposed to do the kicking.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Oh, your brother. Score!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I guess he doesn't feel like talking right now. He's smiling, though.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "You know, Daddy was gonna be a basketball player.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I'm Monica. I wash the toilets 17 times a day, even if people are on it!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Rachel. Is my sweater too tight? I'd better wash it and shrink it!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I love Ross. I hate Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "My God! I can't find a boyfriend. I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Boo-hoo. Get out of my room!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "There are other ways to win back your money. How about blackjack? Not my game.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Cups. -I don't know how. -I'll teach you. It's easy and fun.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I have two queens. What do you have? -A 2 and a 5. -You win! Fifty dollars!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "That's a full cup! Damn, I am good at Cups!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "She's not crying. She's holding it in. She's so brave. Go.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "It needs to go about 20 blocks to the left.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Great. Monica's moving. -I am not! -Really? How come all your stuff is in this box?", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "That, my friend, is \"D Cup.\" How much have you won so far? -700. -Not 700 exactly? Double it.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Don't get excited, that won't happen unless you get the.. No way!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "She has 147,000 pair of boots.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "And you stretch them out with your big old clown feet.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "That's nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Bring Monica, and we'll live together! We'll have so much fun!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Kind of.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Get your head out of your shirt there, son!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's a pumpkin. I'll come pack.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Then I get a jack and a king. Boom! Ross gets a 4 and 5. Even Ross was getting the Cup card, the D Cup... the sitting-down bonus. I didn't even get half a cup! Nothing!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I think beginner's luck is very important in Cups!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Wait a second. I see what you're trying to do here. You're trying to give me money again!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "And now the dog.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "What the hell is that dog doing here?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "What kind of idiot do you take me for? It's not a real game. I made it up.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I'm sorry you lost your money. But I won it fair and square. At a fake game! If you wanna try to make some of it back... I'd be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you. I am very good at Cups.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "I assume the saucer card came up when you played last. Let's see if it comes up this time.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The One On The Last Night"}, {"t": "Rachel and Phoebe struggling over who gets which words for their answering machine message", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "What do I get? I get 'it's,' 'and.' Oh, I'm sorry, I have 'a.' Forget it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Rachel switches positions then immediately refuses to give up the good words", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Oh, you're no ordinary roommate, are you?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "There's cute guys there. Let's run towards them!", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "You took all the words! You've met your match, Rachel Greene!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Honey, it was a great idea, nailing the boxes to the floor.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "And while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "And she's gonna live with me!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Joey's overeager responses about not knowing Janine's details", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "When can you move in?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Now imagine you live at the supermarket.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "You're around me all the time, and you don't flirt. A little sad about that, sweetie?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Phoebe's bizarre running style described as Kermit the Frog meets Six Million Dollar Man", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Did you also have his album, 'It's Not Easy Being Green'?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Pheebs, Monica tripped me. I don't think I can ever run again, ever!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Ankle. We'll see.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Joey hiding in a box to surprise Janine", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "I don't. No, I want to live with the super-hot Australian dancer!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "How you doing?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "It's just my thongs are too delicate for the dryer.", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Wow. Couples who live together do start to look alike.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "So, Mondler...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Hello? Did you just meet Monica?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. She's going to sit on you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Phone's done.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Monica and Chandler's escalating furniture placement neurosis", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "But the coffee table doesn't match the table!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "I'm drawing her to me like a moth to a flame!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "You guys repel women all the time!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Hey, I've been married three times.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Irish potato famine discussion at a dance", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Chandler's 'tsk' sound that Monica doesn't like", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "That's not specific to girls.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Man, I am so lucky I have Monica. I'm never gonna find love again.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "It's embarrassing. People were looking at us like we were crazy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "People you don't know and will never see again. Yes, but still they are people... with eyes.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "I run like I did when I was a kid, because that's the only way it's fun... like when you were running towards the swings or running away from Satan?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "The neighbor's dog.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Who cares? I repel women.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Why is Ross naked?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "I had to show Chandler something.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Naked? I guess I have... a 'guy' problem.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "There's still some of Chandler's medicine in the bathroom.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "What'd you have?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Don't you mean 'for whom'?", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Pizza? It's not like I never had that before.", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "You're hot. I'm lovable. Clearly, there's a vibe going on between us.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Imagine living in a supermarket and you'll understand.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "I'm not interested in you like that.", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "How you doing?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "I'm so sorry. You're right. This feels great! And you don't care if people stare. It's only a second. Then you're gone!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Watch out for the horse.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "I don't see anything different... other than the fact that the room got brighter when you came into it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Did Ross sit anywhere while he was naked?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Janine, do you know what we're doing right now?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "You and I, we're interfacing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "I gotta go.", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The One Where Phoebe Runs"}, {"t": "Hi, my name's Chandler. I just moved in next door. Would you like to battle me in a post-apocalyptic world for control of the galaxy's last remaining energy source?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. It's like a guy never lived in here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "You gotta be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. It's spreading.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Is that your tiny little box that's too small to put anything in?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Soon, you'll be soaking your fingers in stuff.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "We have to hem the new dust ruffle. Be right there, sweetums.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Totally different situation.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Is this Hillary, your hot assistant chef, Hillary?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "No. The one who looked at you once because you got in her way.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Still, I could tell. She was into me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Does she have a wedding dress?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Well, sure, but they might think it's weird considering I don't work there anymore.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "A year ago.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "You've lasted all year. Good for you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Or maybe because you're all hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Yeah, let's head off to work.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Good kisser. - What? What? - You kissed him? - Totally.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "What am I supposed to do, ask every guy I make out with if he's married? No, yeah, I should.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "No. I just thought it was cute. Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "I don't know this baby. I don't know if she's a famous artist or not.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "You know, you got the candles and the 'foofy schmoofer' thing here.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "I'm sure it's a famous watering can.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "And what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, that's okay then.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "It's clean. - Yeah, well, it feels different. It's dry.", "c": ["Janine", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Well, that's like summer in a bowl.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "I didn't read it.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Yeah.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Tell me everything.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "I whitened them.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "I think I shouldn't look directly at them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "What was wrong with your old human teeth?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "How much longer? - A day.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "You'll be fine. Hillary's blind, right?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "She will be after tonight.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "I am proud of all my friends today.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Chandler, your live-in boyfriend.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Well, I am no woman, but that is one tasty dish.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. 'Ooh, Phoebe, I love you. Kiss me, please.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "He's young, and he's got long hair and a beard and a Hacky Sack...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. That's not Ralph Lauren. That's Kenny the copy guy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Why would the copy guy say he's Ralph Lauren? To get you to make out with him. Oh.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Okay, so colors that don't work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange and purple.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Oh, great. So all I need to do is get some new skin. Thank you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "We're not 13 anymore.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Half the guys out there have makeup on. What? Half the people... I mean... Just try it and see.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "No! Demon! Demon!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "In fact, we're two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Go over to Joey's and drink some beer and hammer up some dry wall.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "When guys hang out, they don't just drink beer and hammer up dry wall.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "When girls hang out, we don't have pillow fights in our underwear. I'm sorry. We do. We do. I don't know why I said that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Come on in. We're knitting potholders.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "No, thanks, Josephine.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Where are all the men?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch, and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "I don't even know how to use my keycard.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "You could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Ross keeping his mouth closed and just mumbling throughout the date", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "So if you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Aw. I love birds.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist of a famous baby.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I'm a woman.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "What if Kenny hired that Ralph guy to be the pretty front man, huh? Did she ever think of that?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Sleep with Ralph Lauren. I'm not gonna sleep with Ralph Lauren. I mean, I could, but I wouldn't.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Ooh. Sleep with Kenny.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "What's the matter with you? What's the matter with me? You've got a black light. It's 1999.", "c": ["Hillary", "Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "And you will never get promoted, especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "He just gave you the coldest look I've ever seen. It's like he hates you.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "You and Ralph? Kenny the copy boy.", "c": ["Rachel", "Kim"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Joey, do you want me to put it all in your room? Okay.", "c": ["Janine", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rosss Teeth"}, {"t": "Hey, you guys ever wonder why they call it 'Thanksgiving'?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 3.5, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "You don't have to beg. / I didn't beg. I just asked once. / You could beg, you know.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Offering people gum is not cooking.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Maybe you wanna try a little Thanksgiving breakfast? Maybe a Thanksgiving snack?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "If it says, 'boil two cups of salt,' you just boil two cups of salt.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Sidney Poitier? / I miss Rachel.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Well, I was going to. I really was. But then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didn't.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Is this why they don't like me or you don't like me?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "I don't think you'll ever get my parents that drunk.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "If people don't know, they shouldn't just guess!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Maybe I give thanks by taking my PlayStation to my place.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Maybe I love you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "No, I don't want to play video games, Joey!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "We'll just drink all day. / We go to yours!", "c": ["Tag", "Joey/Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "How you got three women to marry you, I'll never know.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "That's great, Rach. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "In case Rachel's dessert is so good that I eat all of it and there's none left for anybody else! / Nothing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "It's done about two minutes before it looks like that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl? / Some would say she's attractive, yes.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "It's like the first Thanksgiving when the Indians and Pilgrims sat down. Then the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the New World!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Look! Look who it is! It's Chandler! / Oh, yes, of course. Hello, Chandler.", "c": ["Monica", "Mrs. Geller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Whoa, it snowing out there? / No.", "c": ["Chandler", "Mr. Geller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Okay, I have dandruff. There's no need to laugh and point. / Chandler was laughing at your joke. / My joke wasn't funny.", "c": ["Mr. Geller", "Monica", "Mr. Geller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Chandler laughs at everything. That's one of the great things about him.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "He used to be just 'Jack Geller, Monica and Ross' dad.' Now he's 'Jack Geller, dream hunk.' / I don't know. To me, he'll always be 'Jack Geller walks in while you're changing.'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "He's a headliner of a gay burlesque show.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "then beef saut\u00e9ed with peas and onions... then a little bit more custard... then bananas", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Beef in a dessert? No, no, no. There is no way. / I know. And only one layer of jam? What is up with that?", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. She made half an English trifle and half a shepherd's pie!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "We're never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the New World.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Did it make you want to walk around in your underwear? / No. / Still not hot enough!", "c": ["Janine", "Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Oh, what I wouldn't give to be that can of condensed milk.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "I think he's stoned again.", "c": ["Mrs. Geller"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "I was all high.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "You microwaved a bunch of my dad's records. / Why? / Evidently, you weren't very good at handling your high.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "No, I did. But tell me again because it's so romantic.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "It's Thanksgiving, not Truth Day!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Dude, they're not objects. / Just kidding.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Oh, no. No, Ross, don't do this. / What? / I don't think us getting back together is a good idea.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Oh, well. Can't blame a guy for trying.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "You dropped a pea.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "This is so good that I'm gonna go enjoy it on the balcony. So that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror as I eat it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "It tastes like feet. / I like it!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "What's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "If it's any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Boy, I'm glad I wore the big belt today.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "You are such a tattletale!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing. Monica did!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "I love Jacques Cousteau!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "I want to go!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "I got tricked into all those things.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "You're a wonderful human being. / Thank you! / No. Thank you!", "c": ["Mr. Geller", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "You guys, it was bananas, cream and beef!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "No, I ate that. / Nope, got it and got yours too.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "It was a big bird. Swooped right in there.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "I live across the hall. You walked in on me when I was changing.", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The One Where Ross Got High"}, {"t": "That's a good story, Grandpa.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Did someone get her drunk again, or?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "And we're done. Ta-da!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "See, now it feels like Christmas.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "So around the same time that you started telling this story.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "I can see why that's hard to resist.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "I just want to feed her grapes and brush her hair.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "You are aware that she's not a monkey, right?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now she's like old news.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "It's called some sort of Dickin' Rockin' Dicky Eve.", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "You're still just a little fat girl inside, aren't you?", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "What are you laughing at? Well, I used to date him, but you're still going out with her.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "If she says, 'What are you doing?' I can say, 'It wasn't me, it was New Year's.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "That's better than Ross kissing me in high school and saying that he did it because he needed Chap Stick. It was a dry day.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! It's just like I dreamed it!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "I can save you time, ladies. I'm right here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Oh, well, that makes it not terrible.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "She's always bested us, that wily... minx.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Why would you do that to her? Why? Why?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Dear Losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "No. Never do that.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Okay, that did not just happen.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "When you learned to dance, did you forget how to put on underpants?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Really, you think so? I don't.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Those are mine. I got those for you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Oh. Okay, I'm sorry. Thank you for my 'az.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Would it help if I weren't wearing underpants? Would it?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "She's nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this.", "c": ["Tall Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Hey, man. You're the one who wet his pants.", "c": ["Tall Guy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Mom and Dad are gonna be so faced!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "So do we really need to ask who's going up on the platform next?", "c": ["Production Assistant"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Get this. Dick will want it for the Bloopers show.", "c": ["Production Assistant"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "What's the matter with you? Go! Yeah, take a hike, wet pants!", "c": ["Production Assistant", "Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Happy No Year!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Or we could just follow your clever jokes. Any ideas? Didn't think so.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Hmm. How about my 'az'?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Don't look directly at them!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Whatever, Linus. I'm opening mine.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier? That's what you got me? Yes, I see. That look is priceless.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "What was that for? Tonight when they yelled 'cut' and we didn't get to kiss... I was really, really disappointed, and I just... I just really wanted to kiss you.", "c": ["Janine", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Sure. New Year's Eve is only two weeks away. Can you wait? No. Me neither.", "c": ["Janine", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "You don't have to count down every time we kiss. Oh. Okay. Except I sort of felt like I needed a couple seconds to get ready.", "c": ["Janine", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "Hey, by the way, quick thinking about catching me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "I don't know. You were a lot bigger... I mean, stronger back then.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "I can't do it! Ahh! [ROSS THUDS] Now, you do that, you're on TV.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Routine"}, {"t": "just kissed her!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Oh we kissed it up real nice.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "I came over here to tell you guys. So she's just waiting over there for ya?", "c": ["Joey", "Friend"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Y'know what? She-she kisses better than my mom cooks!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "I am so glad you said cooks.", "c": ["Friend"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "I'm not your garbage man. I'm your mailman.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "A pharmacist. (Rachel mocks him.)", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets! I was tired!", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Hey! I made that for her!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Ahh, just like the apothecary tables of yore...so then the farmer says, 'That's not a cow and you're not milking it.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Look at us, we're a couple of couples!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "How are we gonna get out of that one?", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Well y'know, he's blah, she's just? she's very loud for such a small person.", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "If you want, I'll sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Ha! See, I knew, I knew you'd get it on the first guess.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Almost.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, y'know like back then.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "A dollar? And fifty. So it was like one and fifty dollars.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Uh, it's from yore. Like the days of yore. Y'know?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "White Plains. Oh, it sounds like such a magical place.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Why did you do that? Because she hates Pottery Barn. She hates Pottery Barn?!!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Ooh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! Ooo! Oh, I forgot they made sheets!", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Yeah but Pottery Barn! Y'know what I think? It's just she-she's weird. Y'know it's because she's a twin. Twins are weird.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Huh. Y'know what's not one of a kind? A twin!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "You bought your sheets at a flea market? Ross come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Yeah, she's been in there all day, uh high fever, a nose problem... Phlegm! Phlegm! Phlegm-phlegm-phlegm!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "That's funny, I saw no phlegm.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Uh, y'know, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "What?!! What?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "And I am not blah, I am a hoot!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Eh, they're both good. I generally just go with, Monica's drunk again.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "I do not like that woman! I can hear you! I am loud!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new...(On Rachel's glare)...old sheet?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Well this doesn't even smell like opium.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Oh Ross, calm down, I'll give you the 80 cents.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Oh nothing, we're just talking. Y'know, blah-blah-blah.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "That's right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "We didn't give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, 'No!')", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "You don't think I know that!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Well there's yore. And uh, y'know, yesteryear.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Oh, come on! I think he's ready to get rid of, what did you call it? The cheap knock-offs and dinosaur junk.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And it's all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I don't have that lamp!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Well are you saying that-that you would move out if-if I didn't buy that lamp? What?! No! I'm not gonna move out! But are you saying that you would move out if I didn't buy that lamp? Oh. Yes! I would so move out!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel", "Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "We have got to move!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "And I'm blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, 'Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Y'know, I know you're talking, but all I hear is, 'Blah. Blah. Blah-blah-blah.'", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Y'know I think you can take her.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Or I'll hear you. That's it big girl Come on!", "c": ["Monica", "Janine"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm sorry man. You wanna go watch?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "You're right! That did cheer me up!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The One With The Apothecary Table"}, {"t": "Yes, Ross, we know they have magazines with pictures of naked women in them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Don't tell him about the videos!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "They print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. It's not just about the pictures.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Didn't work on Mom, it's not gonna work on us.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "It was also funny when I made it up.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Hey, tell Dan thanks.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "You tell a lot of jokes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "You know there's naked chicks in there, right?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I don't want to miss when they were skinny.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I tell you, the music these kids listen to today... it's a lot of noise to me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I know things have been tight since Janine moved out. God, was she hot.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Paid your phone bill? -No.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Yikes!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Sure. Like in the case of this young woman... she has lost her clothes. So she rides naked on the horse, she's crying out, 'Where are they?'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "She's not gonna find them, lying in the grass like that.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Remember the days when you'd go out to the barn... Lift up your shirt and bend over?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "She's cute, she's outdoorsy. And she knows how to build a fire. That'll come in handy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Rachel. What? I don't know. Me neither.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I know I cracked up, but I'm not even sure I got it. The doctor is a monkey. And monkeys can't write out prescriptions.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Well, I think the Hef would disagree. Which is why he sent me a check... for $100.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I was gonna stick it in the ATM. But now I think I'll show the sexy teller... that I am a published writer.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I've had to cut down on some luxuries like... paying for stuff, so...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "See, I was a regular on a soap opera, you know? And to go from that to this, it's just...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Plus, you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want. What? Flexible hours.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get a joke journal, you know? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Maybe it's the sound of Ross climbing into my brain to steal my thoughts.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Just trying to re-create some of the fun that we had at my place. Remember? When you picked Rachel over me?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "The reason I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you... is just, you know, you're... high maintenance. Let's go to lunch!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "You write out a list, and we'll go through it point by point. No, you're right, you're easygoing.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Oh, okay. You're not a pushover.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "You're not invited to lunch! What do you think? Pretty strong, I think.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Oh, I love that Japanese place. -I'm sick of Japanese. Not there. Wherever you want to go is cool.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I don't see you asking other paying customers to put on aprons.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "It's supposed to go the other direction. So's your apron. You're wearing it like a cape.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Don't eat yellow snow.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "And if anyone is ever rude to you, sneeze muffin.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "How about clearing out so I can get some new customers? It's all about turnover.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "That's true, I am flaky. So, what, you're just okay with being flaky? Yeah, totally.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I'm flaky. I'll say anything.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I'm the lead guy's best friend. I wait for him and save his seat. Listen. 'I'm sorry, that seat's saved.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "That's the whole part? -Maybe he's not his best friend.", "c": ["Gunther", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "The coffeehouse will be closed for about an hour. It's for the kids. Yeah, to keep the kids off drugs. It's a very important issue in this month's Playboy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "But I'm your brother. We're family. That's the most important thing in the world. Don't try to sway her. I'm your only chance to have a baby.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "See, I would never snap at you like that. Two babies.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "I'm Dr. Monkey!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "You are both idiots. It's not funny. And it's offensive to women. And doctors. And monkeys.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Wow. You know what? That is the best fake speech I think I've ever heard. Really? I've heard better.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "They say you're high maintenance... but it's okay, because I like... maintaining you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "You know, suddenly I find you very attractive.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Okay.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Pretty nice, huh? Now who's a pushover? Rach, you're in my seat.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "Joey. No way, I'm not answering that.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The One With The Joke"}, {"t": "This coming from the man who couldn't split our $80 phone bill in half.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Well, he's not used to women being so forward... but I could check with him. He says it's okay.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "I'm pretty.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Phoebe frantically searching through her purse for gum while everyone waits", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "I don't get sick. Getting sick is for weaklings. It's for pansies.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "When you put a D at the end of 'fine,' you're not fine.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "You know, it's a really hard word to say.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or the one that bit her?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Never mind, I got it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Boy, did we make friends with the wrong sister.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Aw. I like cars.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Oh. What if they came in third in a modeling contest?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical.", "c": ["Jill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "I would love that job.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "No, of course. Of course I've heard of them.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "It's a rug.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, you really think that's gonna work on me? I invented that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah. Everything but the little blue one. That's the best one.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pashmina could be a rug.", "c": ["Jill"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Were you this cute in high school?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "I know, let's rest and drink lots of fluids.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "See, that would be impossible to resist if you weren't all drippy here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, I don't think you should say that even when you're healthy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "It better not be about the apartment pants... because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren, and she loved it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, and they're gonna have sex. Oh, no. What if he marries her too?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "But great news about the apartment pants, huh?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday, dear Annie... Amy", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, not in here it isn't.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Are you saying he's a geek?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "What? She died, Jill.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Calling Dr. Big. Dr. Big to the bed.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Come on, get into bed. I wanna prove that I'm not sick. I wanna make you feel as good as I feel.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "You've sung 'Happy Birthday' to 20 different women today.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "I think she's cute... but I never would've thought of going out with her. Never.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Hey, if you ever wanna go out with Monica, you have my blessing. And mine.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "No, no, no. You are not getting me this way.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me? Is this turning you on?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "What about your rule about never sleeping with sick people?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Worked like a charm.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "It's kind of slutty. It's yours.", "c": ["Rachel", "Jill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I'm a slut. Me too.", "c": ["Jill", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Uh, I'm just looking out your window at the view.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Ugh. She is a slut.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Hoo-hoo. He's gonna get some.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Of the glare... from the streetlight out of his apartment. You know, so, um, he's closed the drapes there... so he can have a nice pleasant conversation with your little sister.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The One With Rachels Sister (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, wait, I don't have to lie to you, you don't live here anymore. I'm eating their food.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Whoa, I didn't know we could date your sister.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Joey, we know you steal our food. I'm good.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah. Who should've shut their drapes is that perverted couple two doors over.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Is that a swing? Oh, don't even ask. Yuck.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "When Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for 10 years. That was like five years ago. Yeah, you got five years left.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "No, no, nothing happened. I shut the drapes to show her slides of my favorite fossils.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Something could've happened, all right? She really dug my slides.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Was it the 'Please don't show me another picture of a trilobite' vibe?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "I cried for three days with that movie. No, wait, two. Because on the third day, my mother killed herself, so I was partly crying for that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "What if the puppy said, 'Help me, Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Cry? I just found a talking puppy. I'm rich.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "That's me with the janitor, Martin. Oh, they didn't wanna come.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "You're dead inside.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "You're just saying that because you're my biggest fan.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star. She was in Sex Toy Story 2... Lawrence of a Labia.", "c": ["Comic book fan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Well, I wouldn't call her a star, but she's really good. You should check out Inspect Her Gadget.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "He's a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Not random. Bob.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "I'm so stupid. I'm just this, like, incredibly pretty, stupid girl.", "c": ["Jill"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "You had me doubting my fashion sense.", "c": ["Jill"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Excuse me, the only thing I can't have is dairy.", "c": ["Jill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "All right, all right. You just blew your chances at dating Bob. Who? In Human Resources!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "I mean, who does she think she is, Princess Caroline? You're jealous of Princess Caroline? Do I have my own castle?", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Phoebe Buffay in Buffay the Vampire Layer.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "And I saw Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him... to surprise him. And then... Then I pretended that I didn't know he was in there.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I don't do porn.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Yes, but you're dead inside.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Ah. I thought I'd find you here, Nosferatool.", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Her ankle is what you're watching? Well, it's hard to tell.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "She's just doing her job. You sick bastards.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Wait, that's Ursula. That's not Phoebe. That is Ursula. Wait, wait. I can watch that. Rewind it. Rewind it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "What's up? Oh, my God. What am I doing?!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "There's no back to this couch.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "What is wrong with you? What? You can't shed a tear for your dead wife? I mean, I left you a note from the beyond. So you didn't mean any of that? No, you robot!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "You damn kids. You ring my bell one more time, I swear to... Oh, uh, Jill. Um... That's just a little game I play with the kids down the hall.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Seeing some more of your super-cool slides. Wow, really? Totally. I loved them. And maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.", "c": ["Jill", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah. I could talk them into giving you like $30. No. No way. No. And stop using my name. And shame on you. And shame on all of you. You're disgusting. Especially you, with that.", "c": ["Ursula", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "So?", "c": ["Jill"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "You're trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, I'll give you a hint. From porn. Okay? Yeah, your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, well, thank you for taking your tongue out of my sister's mouth to tell me that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, are you crying? I just don't see why those two can't work things out.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "How gay are you?", "c": ["Jill"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "I can't believe Jill's gone. I can't help it. I opened a gate.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where Chandler Cant Cry (2)"}, {"t": "So it seems like this Internet thing is here to stay, huh?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "It's okay not to talk.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "No. Barry and Mindy. Oh, sorry. I hear 'divorce,' I immediately go to Ross.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "But that just means he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Which time? -The first time!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "I can't. I keep seeing it the good way.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it 'ka-ra-tay.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "You wouldn't be dating me, that's for sure. -Sure I would. -Come on. You guys really think I'm that shallow? No, I just think Monica was that fat.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey, there's Carol again.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "But my job's fun too. I mean, tomorrow... I don't have to wear a tie.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Because at that time, I thought that everything that rhymed was true. I thought if I worked with stocks... I'd have to live in a box and only eat lox and have a pet fox.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Yeah, you don't want that in a broker.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. Ross Tilman. -No. No, no. Ross Geller. -Of course! Monica's brother.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Busty Ladies? No, that's okay. Some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Here you go, buddy. Sorry, no porn for you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "You know, the hazelnut, actually not a nut. It's a seed. -Wow. Can anyone else name a well-known seed that's been masquerading as a nut? -Oh, dear God. Let me think.", "c": ["Richard", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "They said my writing was funny, just not 'Archie Comic' funny.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "By the way, the answer is: the Brazil nut. -Was his question, 'What's more boring than him?'", "c": ["Richard", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "I may have no money, but I still have my pride. -Really?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Since I don't need any assistance in there, take a break!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "No. No, no. I said sell when it hits 50! Five-oh! It's a number! It comes after four-nine!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "No, it's okay. It's okay. You're allowed one mistake. Just kidding. You are, of course, fired.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Did you lose weight? -You are so sweet to notice. Yes, I lost 3.5 pounds!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "It's hard to be friends with Drake... because of his busy schedule and the fact that he's not real.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "What's your name? What kind of name is 'Brindy'? Stop talking. All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "I can't find my pen. Did you eat that too?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "I'm delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "'Teach me how to spell vitamins.' 'Wear in my new jeans.' -You realize what you are, don't you? -What? You're his bitch!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Wait! You didn't sit on my Kit Kats did you? No, there was a little, little dip in the market... and I lost 13 million dollars. But the Kit Kats are all right?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "If I were, would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm? -Yes. -Then, yes. That is what I'm having.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Honey, having a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow down. -I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "You're not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "You should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "How long has it been since you've had sex? -Well, last weekend... -Oh, that's not so bad. will be two months... since I stopped trying.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Or you could be two stockbrokers, and you're rolling naked on the trading floor... and everybody's watching. -It never happened.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "One is: 'Bring me food.' Two is: 'I'm with a girl. Bring us food.' Three is: 'I'm lost and I can't find food.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Go take off those pants. They look ready.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "And that is a large piece of television equipment. And that is an old man. -Hey, old man! -Hey.", "c": ["Joey", "Old Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "I may have said those things before, but... I never truly meant them until now. -That's a line from the show too!", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "No pulp. Pulp isn't juice. All juice.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "You're gonna throw that juice at me, aren't you? -It's not all juice.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "We could have a threesome. -I love that idea!", "c": ["Ross", "Carol"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "My last Kit Kat bar.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "You know how Monica feels about low-fat mayonnaise? It's not mayonnaise!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "As his butler. And then makes him do crazy things... Like bring him milk shakes that can't have lumps in them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "I just cannot believe this. I mean, Joey Tribbiani. -You don't have to use his last name. But, Monica, come on, it's Joey Tribbiani. -I guess you have to.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "I wish we could just not be married for a little bit. You know, I just wish we could be, like, on a break.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Yeah, I can. Don't think I don't. I do. I mean, all the time. You bet!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You're a 30-year-old virgin. -Say it louder. The guy in the back didn't hear you. Yeah, I heard it.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "What do you know, virgin?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "The doctor said that could be one of the side effects. -Put the cigarette out. No, it's not a cigarette. The smoke is coming out of me!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Yeah, she's fired.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Yeah, sure, sure, I can bring some sandwiches.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Why do you always wear that dumb hat? What, you late for your paper route? 'Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Here's your paper. I'm sorry about your window.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31. -I know. But if I didn't work there, what else would I do? -You used to like playing the guitar. -That was lucrative. Smart like your brother.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "But if you think you could put a fish in there... and it wouldn't get sucked into the mechanism, you'd be wrong.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "They have parasites?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "All right, relax, Mr. I've-Had-Sex-Four-Times! -Four different women! I've had sex way more times. -How many? -Nine.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "I was kidding. -So was I.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Do you have any moves? -I have some moves. I have no moves.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I know! I'll tell you something. We are gonna do that again!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Not after seeing that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "I'm not a 'star.' I'm just a regular famous actor.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "But I thought that ring stood for Capri's undying love for her brother. -Look, you want the ring or not?", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Look, Ross, I think Carol's great, and I'm sure you're very attractive, but...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Made a snack. -What'd you have? -Just a sandwich. Turkey. A little mustard. -Sounds good. -It really was.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Hey, check me out. I'm a slut!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "But after being with you, I'm like, 'Can the doctor see me now?' -I bet he can. 'I don't have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical.'", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Phoebe, you don't have an office. -I'll work right here. This is good. Next to this plant.", "c": ["Boss", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "She's gay. Oh, my God. She is so gay!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "I'm the ruptured spleen.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "There was just one woman, wasn't there? -No, there were two. -Including me? -Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "And that is just what I will do Soon as those bastards I worked for Die", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The One That Could Have Been"}, {"t": "Oh. Wow! Huh.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Boy! Well, someone's been doing their homework.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so...", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Oh umm, y'know I think it would be better if we just save it.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "No, the doctors say it may kill her.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Pat the dog. Oh! Oh! I get it!!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.55, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Oh, I probably shouldn't? so I will!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "But if you're thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldn't get sucked up into the mechanism, well you'd be wrong.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "God y'know, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbiani's apartment...", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Yeah, life's pretty great isn't it?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "They have parasites?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "What people?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Y'know, it's funny, but when we were studying communicable diseases...", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "I can't promise anything.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "How hot is this?!", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Here's some little known facts about cous-cous. They didn't add the second cous until 1979.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "All right relax Mr. I've Had Sex Four Times!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Four different women! I've had sex way more times!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Hey that's what I tell girls about me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Do you wanna do it with me?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Okay.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "I was kidding. So was I.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "I just fell right off the couch there.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Wow! I can't, I can't feel my hands.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Yeah but see I have nothing to compare it too. So even if you're horrible, how would I know?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Well, if it helps there were only three.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Umm, do you have any uhh, moves?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "That's the couch.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "I'll tell you something, we are gonna do that again!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Oh God I can't believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "That's ridiculous! I'm not a 'Star,' just a regular famous actor.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Oh my God, they let you keep that stuff?!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Sure! As long as they don't find out you can keep whatever you want!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "But I thought that ring stood for Caprice's undying love for her brother.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Look, do you want the ring or not?!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carol's great and I'm sure you're a very attractive man, but I...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Just okay? Did you do it right?!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Look, it's just did, did you ever go to a party and think, 'Would really anyone miss me if I weren't here?'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "But still Ross, you're worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day! Y'know what I mean?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "No, she kept kicking me away!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Yeah. I made a snack.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Yeah? What did ya have? Just a sandwich. Turkey, a little mustard...", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Sounds good. It really was!", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Hey, check me out, I'm a slut!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Can the doctor see me now?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Y'know, I don't have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Oh that's right! I'm sorry! I-I am early! Finish! Please!!", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Call security. Pheebs, didn't you get fired?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "He should do his research, huh?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "So this doesn't count? Anyway, I'll be in my office.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "That's all right, I'll work here. This is good, next to this plant.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "You lost 13 million dollars.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Oh, so this is all about money! Y'know it's bad enough that..", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "I'm having another heart attack!! Call 9-1-1!!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Dumbass!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Well, they fired me and I'm having heart attack.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that I'm looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Me? I'm great! I'm fine! I'm sooo good!! But, you know who's not great?! Men!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "And why is it that the second we tell you we're going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbor's dog walker?!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Aw what are you?! A detective?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is gay.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "She's gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I can't believe this.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "I guess women aren't that great either. Try telling my wife that.", "c": ["Ross", "Barry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "I'm the ruptured spleen.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "I guess I'm not technically a 'doctor...'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "There was just one woman, wasn't there? No, there were two. Including me? Oh yeah.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see... One of them won't do it, but the second one will set you free...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Unagi"}, {"t": "Remember when I had a monkey? What was I thinking?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "20 percent is a pretty generous tip. You know what's more generous? 50 percent!", "c": ["Unknown server character"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You know what's even more generous? I see where you're going.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I'm down to, like, three. Actually, two, because one of them I blackened some teeth. Why'd I do that?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "It helps if you've got a little of this going on.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Wow! I still have it.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Finally, an explanation.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I really prefer doing that at the home office.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Do it?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of you.", "c": ["Rachel or Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Takes it out of you?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Isn't that a kind of sushi?", "c": ["Rachel or Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Yeah, it is. It's freshwater eel.", "c": ["Rachel or Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I would kill for a salmon-skin roll right now.", "c": ["Rachel or Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "In case someone's trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat... or your kettle of fish?", "c": ["Rachel or Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Surprise! [Ross attacking the women]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "If we made reservations, we could have unagi in a half-hour.", "c": ["Rachel or Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Valentine's Day was two weeks ago, so I wouldn't get her a calendar.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "And, of course, crotchless panties.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "As appealing as that sounds to her boyfriend... and her brother...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You can't make crotchless panties? You take scissors and cut..", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I thought so too, until I papier-mached one of my eyes shut.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I made a flar-lar-lar.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Oh, for crying out loud!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. That is my sock!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Now it's your little bunny friend.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "This actually is a flar-lar-lar.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I can't believe it! Make the presents!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Just so excited to make the presents!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Joey Tribbiani. With all due respect, I'd like to donate some fluids.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "That's too bad. I've been saving up.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Testing the Effects of Joey Tribbiani on Attractive Nurse Receptionist.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Results are back on that one. They're not good.", "c": ["Receptionist"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "What the hell was that?", "c": ["Rachel or Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "A lesson in the importance of unagi.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "At what point during those girlish screams would you have kicked my ass?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Danger!", "c": ["Rachel or Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Ah-ha! Unagi!", "c": ["Rachel or Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "2000 bucks is a lot of money. I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone... who looks exactly like me?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Chandler. I sensed it was you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Are you aware that unagi is an eel?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "It's a replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I could use that. I could say, 'Your love sends me to the moon.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Except Apollo 8 didn't actually land on the moon. You can say, 'Your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I can't give this to her.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "It says 'Captain Ross' on the side.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "And it says 'I hate Monica' on the bottom.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Danger!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Salmon-skin roll.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I can't do it. I can't do it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "A mixed tape! A mixed tape!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "It's a sock bunny. Remember how I call you bunny? Not really. I did one time. And I want to start doing it more.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Phoebe makes sock bunnies. No, she doesn't. What she makes, they're sock rabbits. They're completely different.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I didn't make it! I forgot about tonight and that we're supposed to make the presents.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Well, I did put a lot of thought into the tape.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "It's like that old saying, 'Have sex, eat some cake.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Who the hell are you? I'm Joey. How are you doing?", "c": ["Monica", "Carl"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "No! No! No! No! No! How you doing? How you doing? Damn it, Carl! Go wait in the hall.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Sometimes the good ideas are right in front of you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed up. Can I get a piece of that cake? Pizza! We like pizza! Get out!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You will not find a single game-show host whose ass I cannot kick.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "It's not something you are, it's something you have.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Carl, we're next. Now remember, what is this not gonna be? Another Minute Maid fiasco.", "c": ["Joey", "Carl"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna talk because.. Damn it, Carl!", "c": ["Carl", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "But you're not identical twins.", "c": ["Researcher"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Damn it, Carl!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Continuing the countdown of your favorite meals. Tonight, number three: Macaroni and cheese with cut-up hot dogs.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I love the way you look every night, Chandler.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "That's why I made you this tape. Happy birthday! Love, Janice!", "c": ["Janice's voice on tape"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I was watching. A couple of questions: You know that last move... where that woman tripped you and pinned you to the floor? What would you do next?", "c": ["Self-defense instructor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I tried attacking two women. Did not work.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You attacked your ex-wife? Oh, no. No, no. I tried. But I couldn't. That's why I'm here.", "c": ["Instructor", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Maybe we could attack them together!", "c": ["Self-defense instructor"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "That's a no.", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Nowhere to run.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Danger! Oh, my God! Why is he jumping on those women? We should help them. I don't think they need any help.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "\"Hotties of Paleontology.\" There's a big-selling calendar.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "A hot girl's at stake and he's Rain Man.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Why are we so sure that this is a girl?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "It's a girl! But it wouldn't matter. Because I'm a teacher. She's a student.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "When you're 90, you'll still have the memory of being with a 20-year-old.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "What's a movement class? He's pretending he didn't take mime.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, dude. Why you changing the subject? What?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Just think of it like this: The third day. Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday... When day, what day? Thursday!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Nature called. She wants to see who else did.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "It was a fire, I'm guessing not good.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "The part I want to audition for is a fireman. This is so meant to be!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I'm a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie.", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Oh, you know what? Forget it. I see you already gave me an A.", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Gotcha. I'm kidding! God!", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Hey, buddy, think I could borrow your uniform this Thursday?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "The only thing that isn't burned is an ax, which I do not remember buying.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Isn't that mine? Fine. I'm sorry for your loss.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I am not in the mood to be hit on right now. But if you give me your number, I'll call you sometime.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "No. But yeah, I could use one now. Thanks.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I did it! It's me, it's me! I burned down the house!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I warned her about those candles.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Do you want to get a pizza later?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You dated her?! Not once.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You want to do Joey a favor? Maybe you go out with Joey.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I haven't spoken to him in 10 years... and he asks me for a favor? Yeah, I've always hated that Howie.", "c": ["Dana", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! It sure didn't look this way when I lived here.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Hotel Monica! Just tell me how you like your eggs. I thought I'd bring them to you in bed.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "What's that smell? I know! I don't...", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You sat next to 'Sleepy Sleeperson.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "The guy on the other side of you was 'Smelly Von Brown Shirt.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "'Cutie McPretty.' Oh, that's so sweet!", "c": ["Ross", "Elizabeth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Dr. Geller! Burt!", "c": ["Ross", "Burt"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Monica was so sweet. She left a little mint on my pillow. Know what Joey left on my pillow? Gum.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Don't look at me, my hair's straight. Straight, straight, straight.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Hey, where'd the napkin go? What is that? Is that old shrimp?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I can smell it a little, bake a pie.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is... okay, well I have to go now.", "c": ["Fire Inspector"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "'Judgy Von Holier-than-thou.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You don't want to get a reputation as 'Professor McNails-his-students.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Great story again. The yarns that you weave!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "The heart wants what it wants. Bye.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "But not in here! Can't eat them in bed, remember? No crumbies!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "This doesn't lock, does it?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Really? Yeah, look.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Well, don't waste it. I mean, it's still food.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "I can't. Oh, you have some studying to do? No, I have some turning 21 to do.", "c": ["Elizabeth", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You know, I remember when I was in college, we used to..", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You are so fired.", "c": ["Burt"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Really? It's not just frowned upon?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You got me the audition? Let's hug it up!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "You have to switch with me. Monica is driving me crazy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "That's right. All the ladies want to stay at Joey's.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "No, but at Monica's, you can eat cookies over the sink.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Just hearing you describe it as 'forbidden'... it's really hot.", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "It's naughty. It's... taboo. Shut the book.", "c": ["Ross", "Elizabeth"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "Hey. Let's also get a hot plate.", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "It's.. Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, what day.. Oh!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The One Where Ross Dates A Student"}, {"t": "What does that tell you? / That refrigerators don't live as long as people?", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Of course I'm joking. I don't take checks.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Thank God, you're pretty.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Thank you, Chandler.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Ralph mumbles a lot. / He mumbles when you're not attentive?", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "So he has to be a male who has at least $50. / So close.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Isn't she cute? Nope.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has homework?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "It's just been so long since I've been to Chuck E. Cheese.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "A box of Thin Mints and some Tagalongs.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "What is she, like, 12?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Yeah. Do we have any Fruit Roll-Ups?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "A face ass? / A chin dimple.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "No. Our guy's just a floating head.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Like there are police for that.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "You look? You massaged me. / I know.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Chandler funny?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Do you want our guy to be your guy?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. What was in that brown jar? / That's still in there? / Not anymore.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Look, okay, suppose we were a divorced couple. And I got custody of the kid. Right? Now suppose the kid dies and I gotta buy a new kid.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Give me $400! / Thank God, you're pretty.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Oh, a student I don't know.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Making out in your office. / Of course. Why don't we go inside.", "c": ["Elizabeth", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "So I will take one box of the Thin Mints.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Then you distract her with a Barbie doll.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "What the hell are you doing? / What the hell am I doing? You just broke my fridge!", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "You think I don't know what breaks my fridge? / Excuse me! / Well, what do you know? Broken!", "c": ["Joey", "Delivery man"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Doorknob? / Yeah. It kind of grows on you.", "c": ["Elizabeth", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "No. / I think you misunderstood what I was saying.", "c": ["Elizabeth", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Spring vacation, you're doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break, you're doing frat guys.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "I can see it now. 'Look, Dad, it's the Sphinx, wahoo!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "What? I read that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Yeah, and I found you one too, who is not a weirdo. / You know what though, guys, I really appreciate that... but I'm gonna take Sebastian.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Are you funny? Tell us a joke! / I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel. / Well, so do a lot of people.", "c": ["Monica", "Sebastian", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Turns out he is kind of funny.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Yeah, but 'Sebastian'? What is that, a cat's name?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "'Hey, Sebastian, would you like to dance?' 'Okay. I gotta go.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "There you are! You broke my fridge. You owe me $400. / Okay, sure. / Really? / Technically, you owe me $600 for sending out happy thoughts on your last 10 auditions.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "In 1981, you were 13. / So? I drove down, sold T-shirts. Had a blast. You know who knows how to party? Drunk college chicks.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "If she's got enough money for that, she can certainly pay for the fridge she broke.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Ross, are you okay? / What? / Are you into crafts at all?", "c": ["Elizabeth", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "It's a bathing suit? / To wear in front of people?", "c": ["Ross", "Elizabeth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "But why put off something till tomorrow that you could do it right now? / Eldad, come here!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "A little blindsided but good.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "This suit does not do justice to what's underneath it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Sit down, we're winning.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "This isn't really worth the free massage.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "No offense to you guys. Really, congratulations on... all the cash.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "It was pretty funny when I hid it for a while.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Sometimes you get 30, sometimes it's 4 and... more often than not, it's just milk.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "I wanna say a disease.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "Professor Geller.", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "To be 13 again...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Mac And C.H.E.E.S.E."}, {"t": "What? I am extremely talented.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "You're solid. You're just no me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "You'll see! You'll all see!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "He's a computerized humanoid... electronically enhanced secret enforcer. Or 'C.H.E.E.S.E.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "They lucked out that the initials spell 'cheese.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "You'll be like the 'Big Cheese' or the 'Big Mac.' Hey, you love those!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "I don't know if I'm good enough. -I am.", "c": ["Joey", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "It's like you got so many lines to learn so fast... sometimes you need time to remember your next one. So while you're thinking of it, you take this pause where you look intense.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "[Joey demonstrates the 'smell the fart' acting technique]", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "I play Al Pacino's butt. He goes into the shower and then, I'm his butt.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "After years of struggling... you've finally cracked your way into show business.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Wow, if I could dance, I'd be a triple threat.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Yeah, did I fool you? -Totally!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "One's from those allergy commercials who's chased by flowers.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Well, it is overdue.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "What you guys do is different. I don't know if you'd understand... Yeah, we don't have pressure at our jobs.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Don't. I like it dirty.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "You sure they're not very, very bad?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Actually, I was gonna do them julienne. -I'm out of here.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "I just helped an 81-year-old woman put on a thong... and she didn't even buy it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Boy Scouts could've camped under there.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "You threw my sandwich away? My sandwich? My sandwich!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "I didn't say that. That doesn't count.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "She hates you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Am I naked again?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "As crazy as soccer?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Maybe we can send him some big flowers and scare him!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "You thought it was a copier.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry! I do! I do!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "You're so far past the line you can't even see it! The line is a dot to you!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Bend over?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Oh, my God!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "That's how they do pants! -Isn't that how a tailor measures? -Yes, yes, it is. In prison!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Front and back!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Y-O-U, apostrophe R-E means, 'you are.' Y-O-U-R means 'your.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "It's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "If we were in prison, you guys would be my bitches.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Look at me, I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Maybe if I wasn't going commando.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Well, no, obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "I saw the board, I went to the audition, I got the part!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Well, that's good. Because you didn't! And I'm incredibly happy for you!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "There was just an explosion. My hearing would be impaired.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "For a minute, I was like, 'Where'd Ross go?'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Holding us back. -Totally.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths Dad"}, {"t": "Well, thank you in advance.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "You're going to make a joke about my special present. Why would you do that?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! It's Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "I can't even use Chandler's computer, except to find porn.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "And that's only because it's there when you turn it on.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Our lover's spat will start a little early this month.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Because the last one was such a big seller?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "And as I'm the only one who has read them... I can tell you that they have all been very well received.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Hold the phone. You're not Elizabeth's dad?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "We know how tough those parent-teacher conferences can be.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Wow! He's so lifelike.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "This is the temporary robot, right?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Well, I just thought it was gonna be a really cool robot. Like the Terminator, or when I first saw you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "I prefer that Liz's boyfriends address me as Mr. Stevens.", "c": ["Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Why can't you get a girlfriend your own age?", "c": ["Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "It's funny... It's not funny.", "c": ["Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Daddy. Fine. Two minutes. Go.", "c": ["Paul Stevens", "Elizabeth"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Not 'it.' We haven't done 'it.' I mean, we've done stuff...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish. I'm Irish. And the Irish guy wins the joke.", "c": ["Ross", "Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "...rugged handsomeness.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Is there a Mrs. Stevens? There's a Mr. Bing!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "...because usually he's at the children's hospital. But not looking for dates.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Your roommate in college died, didn't he?", "c": ["Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "A part of him did, yes.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "You said we would get the kind with the little girl. You said the baby creeps you out. The little girl does.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as it's a compliment.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Maybe you could date him then. It would save me the trouble of killing him.", "c": ["Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "You just don't look old enough to have a 20-year-old daughter.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "We? Yeah, it usually takes two people to... Oh, no! Yes! Of course. I know that!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Damn those robots. They're supposed to be our faithful servants!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "There's a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "You did. You came in, got all awkward and ran to the bedroom. You were shouting, 'Joey!'", "c": ["Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "You know, he lost his keys. So he was looking for them. In your mouth?", "c": ["Ross", "Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "You dated my sister! That was different!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Go back there and kiss some serious robot ass!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Yeah. That's why I'm sleeping with him on the side.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "I'm not writing about you. I'm writing about other people. Who? Marsha and Chester.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Fine. Then you know what? I will just write about Phyllis.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "I can't believe this! God!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "I definitely did not see that one backfiring.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "...and partly because they just keep coming to me.", "c": ["Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "'Not all bad.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "I know what you mean. I do that, too.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "That was just a big drunken mistake.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "The only way that I said 6:00... would be if I said the sentence, 'Let's meet at 7:00, not at 6:00.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "If I had said 7:00, I would have said: 'My boyfriend is such a wiseass. 7:00!'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Thank you for writing your book. It's a great book... and you are the queen of everything.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "'Marsha and Chester are mad at Phyllis.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman. You know, Sarah. I wish I could talk to her. Are you in love with her? Yeah. Her. All of them. Anyone.", "c": ["Wayne"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "How to make the next one even shorter?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?", "c": ["Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "That's okay. I'm not so crazy about myself right now either.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Kids!", "c": ["Paul Stevens"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Wayne! Wayne!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Now you're thinking you gotta sleep with him.", "c": ["Character A"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "No, it's just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us.", "c": ["Character B"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "And l think Ross is generous, too.", "c": ["Character C"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "lt's mostly just photographs of...lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.", "c": ["Character B"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Oh, man!", "c": ["Male character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend.", "c": ["Character D"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Well, her father pays you for babysitting, right?", "c": ["Character E"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Looks like l'm not the only one interested in fossils.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Ross, all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.", "c": ["Character F"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Rachel's gonna need to yell sweet nothings in his ear.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "'Cause he's got like a hearing aid, you know? 'Cause he's all old.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 3.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Yeah. But then l changed my mind. l'm funny like that.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "A man with a plan!", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Me and Jim Belushi would just be cracking up about something. Then l get fired off Days of Our Lives and he takes me down.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Now he's just laughing at me. Look at him. That smug Belushi bastard!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Look at him just smiling at me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "So, do you have any of Matt Lauer's clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that haven't been cleaned yet?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "What do you think? Maybe he's gonna tell you he's gay?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "No reason. That would just be a really big surprise, right?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "There's a two-year wait. What if you get engaged in two years? Then you've gotta wait another two years? That's four years. Chandler's not gonna wait that long.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Don't feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isn't gay.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Don't even get me started on yours.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Dry cleaners?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "l mean, not her actual eyeballs.", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Why? Are there like bears or something?", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Do you want to ride around town on my little pink bicycle?", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "A little bit.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Hi, this is Hildy from the Morgan Chase Museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. There's been a cancellation. If she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility...", "c": ["Hildy", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "This is Chandler Bing! Yes, the groom! No, not the groom!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Yeah. l recognized the ankles.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Well, she obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "That's your dad's bedroom!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "That Diet Coke, l think, went straight to my head!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "You are the man! You are the man!", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "I'm just a love machine", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Well, with a regular guy it's bad. With Chandler, oh, dear God!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Well, Rachel's not here!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Joey, why did you sign it, 'son of a bitch'?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "l did not go out with your wife! Okay? l went out with her.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "What you heard was: 'Take my daughter...come up to my country house and ruin my weekend with Rachel.'", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "...l, too, am a 'neat guy.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "And l, too...am 'just a love machine.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you...Phoebe, Rachel, Hildy, and some band called, Star Light Magic Seven...who are available, by the way.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Do you still work here? No. l quit a long time ago. Did l forget to tell you that? l'm sorry.", "c": ["Ross", "Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "That's cool. l was gonna fire you anyway.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Pauls The Man"}, {"t": "Paper cut!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Once again, not knocking pays off.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I wish you hadn't been on the toilet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Is there such a thing as a Monica cut? Because that would be you best bet.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "How rude. Sorry. Want a bite?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "You just have to think of him as a jar of pickles that won't open.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "That's what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Can't complain.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Paul's awkward quick exit reaction", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Come on. You're a paleontologist. Dig a little deeper.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "You should run him under hot water and bang his head against the table.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's great, Paul. But, you know... I want to know what.. Wow, those are really great!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "They say that still waters run deep, and I want to swim in yours.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Are you talking about having sex?", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Your friends have a slumber party and stick your hand in warm water... while you sleep, so you pee in your sleeping bag.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "You're lucky you never met that bitch, Sharon Majeski.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "When I was 6 years old, I wanted a Big Wheel. And instead, my parents got me this little... plastic chicken that you hop around on.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "They called me 'Chicken Boy.'", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Chicken?", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Chicken Boy! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Ugly ring, ugly ring, ugly ring...", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "It's a beautiful selection.", "c": ["Jewelry Store Employee"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "An engagement bracelet or an engagement tiara! An engagement Revolutionary War musket!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Imagine getting down on one knee... and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "This is why you brought me. I know how to haggle.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I would like to see that ring. Or not. Whatever.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Sir, could I ask you...? Could you hold out that ring and ask me to marry you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "We will give you $10.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "We stand firm at $10.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Yes. I have these two rather beautiful... five-dollar bills.", "c": ["Jewelry Store Employee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I'll give you $1 for them.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "We were supposed to just get him one? That guy's always mooching off of us.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Sometimes I just don't get Chandler. We do stuff all the time without you, and you don't get all upset.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "All the time? All the time.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Still crying? Like a little girl.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I didn't know that I was gonna unleash... this weepy, clingy, moist monster!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I only know of two ways to shut a man up. One of them is sex.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "What's the other? Don't know. Never had to use it.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "That's right. You're the talker.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "We have some here. No, you don't!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "What do you think? Too much? A tad.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Take the tiara back... and let me hold the musket again.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Let me out! Now!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Chandler... did your dad ever hug you? No. Did he hug you?", "c": ["Paul", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "You can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Would you hug me? I'm a little busy here, Paul. That's what my dad used to say.", "c": ["Paul", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Okay. A quick one. Come on, hug it out.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Five more seconds.. Okay!", "c": ["Paul", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "My back pocket! Thank God.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "They put you in jail? The little jail between the doors!", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Yeah, but when he proposed to me with the ring, I got goosebumps.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Maybe it was the guy. It was the ring!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "We'll be the new Joey and Chandler. What?", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Hey, don't get angry. We turn on each other, he wins.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "It gets me kind of hot. Wait, wait. Listen to this:", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Whatever happened to that little dude? So full of dreams.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I don't care about the little dude!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "That's only because they get $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I could have made listening to you? $2000!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Know when I figured that out? While you were talking!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "It's just that when those gates open... it's hard to close them.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I can't believe you talked me into this gumball-machine-looking ring.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Unless I look at it really closely, and then I can see my own eye.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Somewhere Over the...? L'Espace. Rainbow L'Espace! No, just L'Espace.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I'd love to know how you got from rainbow to L'Espace. No, you wouldn't. You don't wanna get in here.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Wow, you're good! After this, we should solve crimes.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Wow, I would trade. It is beautiful, but I'm gonna use this one. Excuse me.", "c": ["Other Customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Do you want to break her heart? Yeah. Do you want to break a dying woman's heart?", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Yeah, she's dying... of a cough, apparently.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "It's my dying wish to have that ring. If I'm not buried with it... my spirit will wander the netherworld..", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "That's enough! Oh, I don't know.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm marrying a dead woman!", "c": ["Other Customer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I think we gotta end the freeze-out.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "We're gonna be brothers-in-law! Come here!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "I think I'm gonna cry. Oh! No more crying! I just dumped one crybaby. I'll dump you too.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Oh, nice. One and a half carat, easy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "You told her before you told us? She walked in while I was looking at brochures. You can understand that.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "You should know. You've bought like a billion of them.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Humor based on my pain.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Of all of your wives, I'm the only one who never got a ring.", "c": ["Carol/Carol reference"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Something other than the divorce papers and the hangover.", "c": ["Carol/Carol reference"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "But ask for a musket. Ask for a musket!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "Well, yeah. No ring, no sex. Big surprise. Get me a musket and we'll talk.", "c": ["Carol/Carol reference"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The One With The Ring"}, {"t": "You should know, you bought like a billion of them.", "c": ["Unknown Friend"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "You didn't get one.", "c": ["Unknown Friend"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "She'll know how expensive it is.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "You'll mess up. Let me do it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "If she says no, can I have the ring?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "-Give it. -It's gone.", "c": ["Monica", "Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "We're practically kissing.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "I get mad when Rachel doesn't remember where we're going.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "I can do that for the kids.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "You could give back the money you owe me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Okay. Have a benefit.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "You're already doing your part for the kids.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "All jokes aside? I didn't agree to that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Thought you were making jokes. I had no idea.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Not what she said last night.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "See, now he could date her.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Will you marry me?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 4.05, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Hey, you marry me.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "What's going on, little elves?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "I know what a silent auction is. What's going on with your hair?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "-And I also brought my friend Joey. -Shrimp toast!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "You know, I don't know where he is.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Okay, $20.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Call the police. That's what I did to kids in my building.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "-Who drank all the kamikazes? -Nobody. We put them in here!", "c": ["Elizabeth", "Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Now, this is a nice suit!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "I won! That was my guess!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Joey, it is an auction. You don't guess. You buy!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "What?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. I remembered it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Because then I would be cold. If you thought you'd be cold, you should have brought a jacket.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Before I met you, I had really little life.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "What? I'm Chandler.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Well, my nose got lonely.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "I'm Chandler. I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "No one's supposed to know about us!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "See, I did it again.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "I figured I'd take a guess. Help a charity. Free boat!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Why would a charity give away a free boat? I don't know. Charity?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Hey, I was pretty close.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Joey! Joey, good one!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "They should just watch TV after school like I did. And I turned out fine. Not great.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "As a poet once said, 'In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures...for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.'", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "What?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Sometimes grownups have commitments they can't get out of.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "That's what I did when I first started weighing stuff.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "My God. You married her, didn't you?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "If you're not careful, you may not get married at all this year.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "It's a trip for two. Enchant\u00e9.", "c": ["Chandler", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "It's Pam. Just imagine this. The Pam.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "You get all that peace and quiet you've always wanted. You get back to nature. You can go fishing. You get one of those hats, people call you captain. And then when you're old, Cappy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Who cares? I'll make payments! I want the Mr. Bowmont!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "I want to see what's in your hand, the trash.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "A palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor. Glove salesman. Good one!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Being you is finally gonna pay off!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "That guy's still doing that?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "You suck! Breakup's still on.", "c": ["Elizabeth", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "And, also, a little like a French guy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "How it's a way for governments to keep tabs on you. Yeah, Big Brother.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Well, that's good to know.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "The Mr. Bowmont's here!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "I hate when people come back to compliment the chef. Like I've nothing better to do.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "Came here to tell you I still love you.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The One With The Proposal (1)"}, {"t": "You say he's straight, I'll believe you.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Why don't they put chairs back here?", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "What were you doing in Africa? -Working with blind kids.", "c": ["Monica", "Richard"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "What are you doing to me?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Because of the government.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "I'm so happy and not at all jealous. Oh, no! God, definitely not jealous.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "I'm probably 98% happy and maybe 2% jealous.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "What's 2%? That's nothing. Totally.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "I'm like 90-10. Yeah. Me too.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "No. But you know who was looking for you? Tenille.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Look at pigs. Let's take a second here and look at pigs.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "A pig can have 100 sexual partners in a lifetime. And that's just an ordinary pig, not even a pig that's good at sports.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Why don't you put down your copy of The Rules, huh, man-trap?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "That's what makes it so easy to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "I locked him in years ago.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "But believe me, that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "It's for my boat. Cool, huh?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "What's the matter? Talk to the captain.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Chandler is a complex fellow. One who is unlikely to take a wife.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Chandler loves marriage!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "You got that from what I said?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "No, like, 'What's that?'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Although, believe me, she wanted to do a lot more than that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "I was making a coconut phone with the Professor.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "And I would have if these damn boat shoes wouldn't keep flying off!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I know! They suck!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Look, us getting our asses kicked is not a solution.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "That coconut phone might be good for the boat.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "I didn't ask.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "I'll just leave the door open and go sit on the couch.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Scotch on the rocks with a twist? I remember.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "No. That's art.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "If it bothers you, I can put my art out.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Actually, I thought about you a couple months ago. Yeah, but it's because I had an eye exam, and I don't like my new eye doctor.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Edward Nevsky. Yeah, he's no good.", "c": ["Monica", "Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "It's just good sense to back up your backup.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "This kind of back talk isn't gonna fly when we're married.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Ross is a good father. But Joey has a boat. This is hard.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Remember my promise: If we get married, three times a week.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "I'm talking about massages. No, I'm not.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Ross. Joey.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "We should just switch. Absolutely.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Maybe someone with a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Talking about pig sex over lunch, I don't want that!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "10, 20 minutes, if you need it.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Well, all right, one thing happened.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "You made my girlfriend think!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "It was working till you showed up, you big tree.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "You know, Richard, you are a good guy. I know. I hate that.", "c": ["Chandler", "Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "There's a reason why girls don't do this!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "I knew you were likely to take a wife!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "This is the least jealous I've ever been!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, no, wait! This is wrong! Ross isn't here!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "He's done it three times. He knows what it's about!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "The One With The Proposal (2)"}, {"t": "She's been there for 20 minutes. You didn't hear? I thought it was a kid yelling, 'I'm gay!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "No, that guy moved.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Oh, big talk! Why don't you come here and say that to me?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "My fianc\u00e9 will kick your ass.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "You get her in, you bolt the door, I'll be in the closet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "It just wouldn't be my night... Our night... if you weren't here to celebrate with me... Us. Damn it!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "So when you said get up early, did you mean 1986?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Oh, 19! We thought you said 90.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "You know what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Fashion is about me? About youth. Youth! Listen up, grandpa.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "I'm not worried. I'm fascinated. You know? It's like biology. Which is funny, because in high school I failed biology... and tonight biology failed me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Twelve years old and addicted to pork, No one thought Monica would marry", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "First time I met Chandler I thought he was gay, But here I am singing On his wedding day", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "If you'd let me finish, it goes on to say that he's probably not gay.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "You guys don't have this problem, you're made of wood.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Well, sure, but I get married all the time.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "You mean 'we,' you and me? Oh, no, no, no. 'We,' you with someone, me with someone. Good, you scared me a minute.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "It's just because you and I, we were like a nightmare.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Surely you can think of something. Just give me a minute.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "You were always good at the... stuff.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "I was good at the stuff? I really liked your hands.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "'Sup? 'Sup, dude? Take whatever you want, just don't hurt me.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "That's whack. PlayStation is whack. 'Sup with the whack PlayStation, 'sup?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Yes, on a scale of one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can look... you are definitely 19.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Young. You're a man-child, okay? Now get changed, everybody's ready. And please, please, keep my underwear.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "When, today? Some, not a lot.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "I cannot believe I'm asking advice from somebody who's wearing that hat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Well, what'd you do? I did it anyway.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "But if you touch my guitar again, I'll have to pound on you a little bit.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, apparently I opened the door to the past.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "See, you kind of stole my thunder.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Thunder being stolen.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "I cannot believe you guys are talking about this. Problems in the bedroom are between a man and a woman. All right? Now, Chandler is doing the best he can.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "What a great night. Chandler can't do it, they kissed.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Seriously? Seriously, no. Okay? You can play your own age, which is 31. I'm 30! Joey, you are not. You're 31. Oh, crap!", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "That is whack.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "It's starting to sound like 'wood cheese.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Man, I could go for some wood cheese right now.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "We will sprinkle rose petals on the bed and make love... not just because it's romantic, but because I can.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "They give you away. There's too much wisdom in there.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "My sweet 16. You went to third base with my cousin Charlie.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring. We had a caricaturist.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Easy, mimey, the moment has passed. It ain't gonna happen.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Maybe you can't stand... that your formerly fat friend is getting married before you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Come on, Ross. Let's go have sex!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Well, somebody should.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Yeah, you like that, baby?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "I warn you, the night you announce your engagement... I'm going to announce that I'm pregnant.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "How is that ever going to happen?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "I know that that's dumb, but you were so depressed... when Ross got married, you slept with Chandler.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "I don't care, she slept with me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "From now on, the only person who's going to enjoy these bad boys is me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "Hey, here's a dollar. Consider it a deposit. Please sing at our wedding.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "I'll pound on him in the morning.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The One With Monicas Thunder"}, {"t": "My hand feels weird. I guess it's because I'm engaged!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "When will that start getting annoying? Start?", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "I have thoughts on the music. Too many cooks...", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Take it from me. All you have to do is show up and say the right name.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Break it off. Break it off, now.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "That conclusively proves that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Yeah, it is. My movie starts in five minutes.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Does anyone want to come to the movie?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Wait, that was for my 6th grade wedding.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Derek is a name I shouldn't know.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Well, he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, it's like one mind.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Yes, it is perfectly good and it is not one of the places the duck got sick.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "I don't know, but he did not eat your face cream.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Pillowcases!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "This is a dirty book!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "I don't want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzle... Beer, cold beer.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Sweeping. Why? Does it turn you on?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "What if I was sweeping a chimney?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Where did you learn that word? Where do you think... Zelda?", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have, but you got porn!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "You got porn.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "I still don't know how. You don't know how? Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy.", "c": ["Jack", "Judy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "At least you're not hearing it at your 5th grade Halloween party. They wanted a scary story.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "We have it. Only now we call it 'the beach house.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "So you've had seven years of beach fun and you can't put a price on that.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "It was Chandler. We didn't think he'd propose.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "It seemed like such a simple idea. Stupid. The word is 'stupid.'", "c": ["Jack", "Judy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "I'm going to touch you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Saving the rest for her divorce.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Dollywood.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "My God, what did you order?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "You can wear off-the-rack.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Do you even understand what 'off-the-rack' means?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Chandler's pause when asked how much money he has", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Wow! Hello, Mr. Chandler.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get onboard with.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "You know what? It's probably just your burning loins.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Do you mind if I heat this on your loins?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "I wore out my first copy when I was with you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Well, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "But I did give him acupressure with a pair of chopsticks and I gently exfoliated him with a mop.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "You could've not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back. He said he liked that!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "So we only have two kids. We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "We'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "When you were talking about our future, you said cat. But you meant dog, right?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Do you even know what a vicar is? Like a goalie, right?", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Maybe I could make it up to you by taking you roughly in the barn.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "I been waiting for so long to get on that body.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "But I'd keep that helmet on, because you're in for a rough ride.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "I don't want to. I'm scared.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The One With Rachels Book"}, {"t": "Chandler gets glasses and his friends don't notice", "c": ["Chandler", "Friends"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Eyes. No, no. Your eyes! No. Chandler's eyes!", "c": ["Friend"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "You always had glasses. No, I didn't. Are you sure?", "c": ["Friend", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "They were really round and burgundy, and they made you look kind of.... Feminine. Yes! No.", "c": ["Friend", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "If someone wants to give us a present, we can't deprive them of that joy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist. Yeah, and by 'someone' she means Joey.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "What we want, honey. No, you don't want this.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Dying people say the craziest things.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Our kids are gonna be fat, aren't they?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "It's good that you finally have a place to do that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Your own boat? He was trying to cheer me up. My pony was sick.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "You know what I was thinking? What? Nothing, I just like to go like this.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "He doesn't ask just anyone to play. He didn't ask for you. He asked for 'Chauncey.' I assumed he meant you.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Or you could sit on the porch and make sure no one steals the trashcans. He does that every week too.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "You're not a lefty? Does anybody know me?", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "No! Why didn't you make a copy and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least 100 yards away from the original?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Because I'm normal.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "An old cookie? This is what happens when you don't register for gifts.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "We can't accept this. Why not? Because it's gross.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Two! I've been engaged twice.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway? That is the Coast Guard.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "The coast is all the way over there.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Boat rope? Wrong! How do you get the mainsail up? Rub it?", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "I say, 'Come again?' I know this one. I know this one.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "I want to make a ship-to-shore call to Chandler.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "That and arrogance.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Women are mean!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "I wish you a long and happy marriage.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Chandler accidentally sits on Monica's dad in steamy sauna", "c": ["Chandler", "Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "You gave my father a lap dance.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Because otherwise they'd have to call it the 'room' room.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you have to bond to that part?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "He still tells the story about how Monica tried to escape from fat camp. I wasn't escaping. Then how'd you get caught in the barbed wire? I was trying to help out a squirrel. You were trying to eat it.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Aren't you a little overdressed? You better make sure he tips you this time.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "And by 'face,' I don't mean his lap. And by 'face,' I don't mean my ass.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Hey, they didn't get us anything. Thank you!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "I don't know the boat way to say this, but never!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "But you couldn't move because you were wearing three life jackets. You have to respect the sea.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Six and a half. You knocked the last one out of my hand, remember?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "You'll be topless? Joey! You want me to learn?", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "What for, a bake sale? No, just a Friday night.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Batch 16. Sixteen, people, get out of the way!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Why not just say left? Okay, go to the left. The left. Just sit over there!", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "We did that when that bird flew over with the fish in his mouth. Did you see it? It was gross.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "I did not see the bird or the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam shaped like Mike Tyson!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Greens don't quit! Greens? I'm a Tribbiani. Tribbianis quit.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I just said, 'Greens don't quit,' didn't I?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "No, I'm not yelling at you. I'm just yelling near you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "I know port is right. Left. Damn it!", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Looking up? She was really nice to me, but she's in hell for sure.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "And that's not happening till October 15, 2032. That's the day you're gonna die? I've got shuffleboard that day.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "That's what you think.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "My grandmother said she got it from her grandmother, 'Nestley Toulouse.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "You Americans always butcher the French language.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "You see, it is stuff like this which is why you're burning in hell!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "So if you ever see me giving them legal advice, just nod along.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Sandwiches! What else?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Not like that. You're letting all the good stuff fall out. Careful! You're wasting good pastrami!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I'm my dad!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Phoebes Cookies"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, how come I can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?", "c": ["Mac"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "That was one of the worst things ever... and not just on TV.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "You got lighting last time. Lighting is mine.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna press my breasts up against him.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "You mean behind my back?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "If you're starting another story, at least let me finish mine.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "It's the same story. It's really long.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "These really are the 'days of our lives.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "I got a head rush from standing up too fast.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "How did I do? Was this okay?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Hi, yes, I'm sorry. The models are down the hall.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Tag Jones. Go on. That's it. That's my whole name.", "c": ["Tag", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "...two whole summers at TGI Friday's.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Would you stand up?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "No, no, no.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "We love and respect one another too much.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "When I say 'restaurant,' I mean a guy, a hibachi and the trunk of his car.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "No, he visited a town a little south of throw up.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Some of the employees decided to rename the park... the 'Crappiest Place on Earth.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "That's it? I gave up my Disneyland story for that?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "That's right. You lose, sucker!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Please still marry me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "He's so pretty I want to cry.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Look how pretty.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Dumb, old, perfect-for-the-job Hilda.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Don't show this to Monica.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Funny, these halls look smaller than they used to. It's a different building.", "c": ["Joey", "Terry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Who looks more like me than me, right?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "This is one star whose hoop... This is the star the hoop... This hoop... I was Dr. Drake Ramoray!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "So I guess I shouldn't put 'good at noticing stuff' on my r\u00e9sum\u00e9.", "c": ["Tag"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Really? No, handshake.", "c": ["Rachel", "Tag"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Always nicer to hear than, 'Oh, crap, you again.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Did you not understand the story?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "They're just... They're ground beef smileys.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Mr. Mexico.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "It's not like I said, 'What would make this ride more fun?'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "I should be laying down papers for you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Now, you're thinking 'He's not the type to go to bars and make out with girls.' And you're right. He's not the type... to go to bars and make out with girls.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "So hard we had to throw out your underwear again?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "No, because goats can't talk.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Canceled! Like they're taking it off the air? We're not even shooting them anymore?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Ross came in fourth and cried!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "I welled up.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "...so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box she'd made.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "It's hard for some people!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I couldn't think of any more for Ross.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "You? An actor? That's madness!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Really?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "So you hired yourself a little treat, did you?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Hey, cute assistant. What's his story? Is he... Gay? Yeah.", "c": ["Joanna", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Surprised your big head could fit through our small halls.", "c": ["Terry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Time to kiss a guy?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "What are you laughing at, Pampers?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Then I'd steer clear of Phoebe.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Yeah, she's gay.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The One With Rachels Assistant"}, {"t": "Someone on the subway licked my neck! Licked my neck!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Whoa! Willy's still alive.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Ooh, I'm afraid that does not exist.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "No, there are great pictures of you next to a guy who's going like this...", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, that's the creep that you're with at the Statue of Liberty.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm not in that. - No, but look at me, all tan.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "[WHOOSHING] Yeah, that's great. Next to that, Chandler won't look so stupid.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "All right, but I should warn you. I'm not going. I'm going.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "And those guys were this close to letting us play this time too.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "You call him 'Cute Coffeehouse Guy'? We call him 'Hums While He Pees.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Yes, and we call Ross 'Lingers in the Bathroom.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "'Hums While He Pees' just asked me out.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Ross, maybe you know him.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "It's not a club.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "They have that that on the napkins at the club.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Ugh, I could just spread him on a cracker.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Soon he'll be able to call you 'that lady he knew that got fired.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Why, is he? He is, isn't he? He's dating that slut in marketing.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Maybe I should open a divorced men's club. - Dude, that's so sad.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "I could put a basketball court in the back. - Could I play?", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Oh, well, drop and give me 10 more. Heh.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "I had a drink with lunch.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "[CLEARS THROAT] ... Huh. ... Ah.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Okay, whoa, whoa. Easy there, Melissa. This ain't a locker room, okay.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Yeah, Melissa, I don't want to be known as the, uh, office bitch... but I will call your supervisor.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, is the seat uncomfortable? - No, I am.", "c": ["Photographer", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Try looking sexy. - Okay. ... Or not.", "c": ["Photographer", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "You got anything that's not Ralph Lauren? - Yeah, I don't think so, Joe.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "It's gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Really? Because I could kind of use the money.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "This picture's supposed to say 'Geller and Bing to be married'... not 'Local woman saves drowning moron.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "He's my drowning moron.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "It seems to say, 'I love you and that's why I have to kill you.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Why did you ever sleep with me?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Do you really want to pull at that thread?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Oh! No, that's okay. He's a friend.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Well, I missed the semifinals, so I think I would just be lost.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "My ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her now. That woman is crazy.", "c": ["Kyle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "All right, I'll do it. But just because you're a friend.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but you'd better go, Pheebs. - Okay, Sherlock.", "c": ["Ross", "Ginger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Kyle's ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her, not date her.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "That's where we realized we are both super cool people.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "And she uses sex as a weapon.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "At breakfast, I'll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Uh, your door isn't soundproof.", "c": ["Whitney"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "You see? Nothing is good enough for her.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Women? You mean, like old women? - Kind of old, like 30.", "c": ["Rachel", "Tag"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "How you doing?", "c": ["Tag"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Borrow money from me?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Why is there jelly on your shoe?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "That's why I never had any luck with Chandler.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "I'm right here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Finally!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "I'm still right here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Hell, I had a crush on you when I met you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Did you have a crush on me when you first met me? - Yeah, sure.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Can you people not see me?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "No, 10. You said 10. You can't take that back.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Really? - Yeah, for you.", "c": ["Tag", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Then I fell asleep on the subway and went to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is far.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Hi. - So how are things going with Crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet?", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "And his response to each one was, 'I don't give a tiny rat's ass.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Maybe he wouldn't be... if she didn't bring the office home every night.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Year's Eve 1997.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "We want the last six years back! - So do we! So do we!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Another night of bird-dogging the chicas?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "I would love to! - What?", "c": ["Rachel", "Tag"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "And speaking of being selfish in bed, how's Whitney?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "For the most part.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Oh, just say it, Kyle!", "c": ["Whitney"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "You know, he hums when he pees. - I do know.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Whitney"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.", "c": ["Whitney"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I don't even give a tiny rat's ass.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "You know, she did try to use sex as a weapon. - Yeah, I hurt my back a little.", "c": ["Ross", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "You know, he hums while he does other stuff too.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Divorced men's club. - Potato, 'potato.'", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "Imagine what our kids would look like. - You know, we don't have to imagine.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "I'm marrying her. - We'll just see.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The One With The Engagement Picture"}, {"t": "- I hope it's you. - Me too.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Blah, blah, blah. Who is it?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "- Yes! Oh. Hypothetically. Still.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "- Why is that the best part? - I don't have to.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Good luck! Oh, and good luck to you too!", "c": ["Julie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Well, we'll watch it a second time and it's Die Hard 2.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Dude, you didn't say Die Hard.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Well, John McClane had plans.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "...and starts calling everybody 'bitch.' What are you talking about, bitch?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "What if I marry Ross? Or Joey? You wouldn't.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "I guess that was it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Better than Chandler.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "- Bye. - No touch. No touch.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Die Hard!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Now we mince the shallots like this. Look, honey, the nice people are chopping shallots. Maybe if they chop enough of them, they can open that bikini shot.", "c": ["TV show", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Not judging you, a little gay.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "No, I only dated two girls in college... both blond, both not attractive.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "No, we're still together.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "I said fa...", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "You know what they say: 'Elephants never forget.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "That's it. I am maid of honor. - No, I am. - How come you are? Because I cared enough to lie.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Then they send you a script. You go to the set. You rehearse and you have wardrobe fittings. Then you shoot your part. And it's great. But right after that, you're back out on the street looking for work again. Right back where you started. So I gotta say, I don't think a career in acting is the right choice for you two.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "- Can't we just flip a coin? - No, coins hate me.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Giorgio.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "That was the best nap I ever had.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "- Sure. What do you got? - Warm milk and Excedrin PM.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "- You're Louis Posen. - Who? He was my best friend in fifth grade. One day, I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "I'll do it. But I warn you, this may make me a better person. And that is not the man you fell in love with.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "- One being the highest. - Ten is the highest. - Why is 10 the highest? - Because it's the highest.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "And also, I ran out on a wedding. You don't get to keep the gifts.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Ow! - Very good! - Oh. Yes, excellent. Perfect score.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Hey, you want a little taste of Pheebs?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "This situation is not sanctioned!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as... Okay, no! Forget that! That sucks! Okay, never mind. Forget it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "...although he seemed like a 6-year-old.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "I remember talking about this day with Rachel... while we were showering together, naked. And she's back in the game!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Hello, Skidmark.", "c": ["Julie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "It's a nickname. I'll explain later. It's pretty clear.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "You didn't know that?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Well, I guess my work here is done.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Well, except Rachel. Damn it!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "- Actually, it wasn't that close.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "What? The coins have finally forgiven me!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "vegetarian-voodoo-goddess-circle-y shower", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "A hundred and forty-five pounds. In one year? My God, what did she eat? Her family?", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "You were not supposed to hear that. I said that behind your back.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "This is one of the things that I can apologize for later.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "I'd carry you around in my pocket.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "That's ridiculous. Rachel, we were all babies once. Oh, you mean today. Yeah.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "She made me carry her train... which was weird because I was Wonder Woman.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "No, I was 10. I just developed early. Man alive!", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "Yeah, okay. You laugh now. She's gonna be yours.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "What the hell are you doing? God!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Nap Partners"}, {"t": "My God. Sorry about that. Okay, really good.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Just casually slip it in, you know. Lay the groundwork. Tell her I'm a loner. No, an outlaw.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "She doesn't want to get mixed up with the likes of me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Can't I tell her that you're a pig?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Chandler used to do it. He'd make her pancakes. He'd make extras and leave them for me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Now, where did we land on those pancakes?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Joey kind of disabled it when I moved in.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Would you like some pancakes?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "...you know, for fun. And I typed mine in, and guess what came up. My doctoral dissertation.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "There's also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Sounds like two people are really enjoying the Dewey Decimal System.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "You didn't bring me here to do that, did you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Send the colonel in.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Lucky bastard.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "How are you... Ms. Hotshot-Chef-at-the-Big-Fancy-Restaurant-With-the-Best-Chicken-Ever?", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Oh, what is that on your finger? I'm blind.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Somebody's been doing a little cooking outside the restaurant.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Funny story.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Look at that, we're all gonna call each other.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "The system kind of broke down, huh?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Who do you think brought her here? Cupid.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Man, do you know what guys want.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "My beers?!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "You're in love with your assistant. You're having an affair with the guy who keeps pigeons on the roof.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Phoebe! Secret affair.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "What did I say?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "She was shocked, but then again, so were most people.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "How hard is that? 'Your check's in the mail.' 'Oh, your baby's so cute.' 'I can't wait to read your book, Ross.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "You don't think she'll want to sing 'Part-Time Lover'?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Really? No, that was a lie. See how easy that was?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "People are doing it in front of my book.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Did you get to see anything good?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "That's not the point. I know that's not the point. I'm trying to make it the point.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "In the corner of the library where all the books were that nobody ever read.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Oh, for crying out loud!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Oh, no. What party? A birthday party. A birthday party. Whose birthday party? Alison's birthday party. Alison's birthday party.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "And how old is Alison? Thirty-two. Thirty-two.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Look how that worked out.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "That, actually, might go late. I'll wait up.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Well, yes. Just give me five minutes. I just have to find someone to cover my shift.", "c": ["Librarian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Don't you follow me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Didn't you sleep together? Yeah, that calms me down.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Not an issue now, but if we had kids...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Oh, my Joey. Please don't get married before I do.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "What are you, stupid? It's been three hours. Is that all?", "c": ["Janice", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "I thought this guy was my soul mate. I thought I was your soul mate.", "c": ["Janice", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Do you want me to sing 'Careless Whisper' or 'Lady in Red'?", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Second? Who's the first? Me and this muffin. My God, it's delicious.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Then change it back!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Didn't you sleep together? Yeah. Tramp.", "c": ["Rachel", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "I guess Italian isn't one of the four languages you speak.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "No, just a regular old flying dwarf.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Get out of here!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "I find Merriam's views far too progressionist.", "c": ["Kristin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "You're the person who checked out my book?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Well, I skipped fourth grade.", "c": ["Kristin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Seventy-thirty, but still.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Hey, Rach, it's cool, you know. I'm a loner too, right?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Next time, make sure she likes me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Do you want some pancakes? Finally.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "What are we gonna do? I say we go with 'Careless Whisper.'", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice, aren't they?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Kind of like your Barcalounger.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "I never stop thinking about it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Chandler, she has beaten me. I'm tired, Chandler. So very tired!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly, you have not.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Because Chandler still has feelings for you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Feelings. Such strong feelings.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "You call me when this goes in the pooper.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "I just wanted to show Monica your book.", "c": ["Kristin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Library Book"}, {"t": "Or, in some cases, 14.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "It's stupid and I wasn't playing against people, so technically, I didn't lose.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Nobody cares about the Dakotas!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "I got tired of naming states, so I decided to list the types of celery. And I have one, regular celery.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "So Rachel's got 48, and Phoebe has the lead in... vegetables.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Hey, how is New England not a state? They have a sports team.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Does South Oregon have a sports team? There you go.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "I made him his own individual sweet potato stuffed pumpkin.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "You'd think I wouldn't enjoy that because it is so fake, but I still do.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Regular celery! I already have that.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "...and Joey, can't name all the states.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Magellan? You got 46 states.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Well, who's well-educated now, Mr. L-Forgot-Ten-States?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "I am only one man.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Did you know your oven doesn't work? The drawer full of takeout menus is okay, right?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Don't worry. It's not a globe of the United States.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Yes, I knit this.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "I'm very good.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Tell her I'm allergic, and I will sue!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "They're here already? How are they doing this?!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Ohio, thank you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I thought we agreed to say... Your thing. Yeah.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Well, the hiding-the-dog plan is off to a great start.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "No, that's just me coughing. *fake cough sounds*", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Hello, my name is Klunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "That's odd. This dog's been living here for the past three days.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Okay, I hate dogs.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "They are needy... jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking... and that scares me a little bit.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "You're right. They are scary. She just ate a treat out of my hand!", "c": ["Tag"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Is there a puppy here? You don't like puppies? Okay, you are new.", "c": ["Rachel", "Tag"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "It's like Ross not liking ice cream. You don't like ice cream? It's too cold!", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Hurts my teeth.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Twelve-fifty. Damn, I forgot you were here.", "c": ["Ross", "Tag"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Half-hour.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's 'moo.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "I could pull this off, right?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "No, no, I do. I really do.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Told you, you should go for it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Joey knows that I'm very insecure about my back. And you were hugging me... so, obviously, you are not repulsed by it. Yeah!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Those guys are stealing my car. What? Right there. That's my car!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Did you hear that? She said, 'Monica.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "He's not so smart.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you kind of knew that something was going on, didn't you? Yeah, I knew.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Hey, look, Phoebe. I laid out the states geographically. We don't have time for this. We have to keep him away from my room. Yeah, but, look what... This is what we do not have time for!", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And one day, my dad decides he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis... take away the dog, and that was the last time we ever saw him. See? This is just like that... only with a few details changed.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "First of all, Utah? Dude, you can't just make stuff up.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "No, no, no. I am not going to do that voice.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Come back here, you furry, little butt-sniffer. Not you, ma'am.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "I hate America! When I finish this game, I swear, I am moving.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "There was no conversation.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Who's 'Tag'? There's no 'Tag.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Which, FYI, Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "She climbed up the fire escape... and she tapped on the window with her teeny, little paw, and we ran to let her in.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "I went too far, didn't I? When should I have stopped?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Let me tell you something. I have 49 states... and there are no more! I think I should be able to eat something.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Colorado. What good are you?", "c": ["Tag", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "Delaware.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "You got Nevada twice.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The One Where Chandler Doesnt Like Dogs"}, {"t": "No, no. One daddy, two mommies.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "It was my sixth birthday. My dad took me to the park... and I got on it and... it bent.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. So I would sit on it and my stepdad would drag me around the backyard.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "That is so unfair. / Not really, I got to drag him around too.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "the red-haired guy who does not like to be called Rusty", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Wouldn't it be easier if we just moved?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "We are not... going to let it... be a problem. / Wow. It took you all night to come up with that plan?", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Matt Wire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wise... / Anymore.", "c": ["Rachel", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Are you serious? / No, I've just always wanted to do that.", "c": ["Tag", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Did you eat all the neighbor candy? / Uh, well, yeah, that was the plan. But by the time I got to it there was only a couple pieces left.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Make some more lasagna too. Something might have happened to a huge chunk of it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Mine stole my newspaper. It's like a crime wave.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Oh, and Chandler's about to cry. / Am not.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Do you know what time it is? / It's candy time.", "c": ["Monica", "Gary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "He does not know that I am not 'some of us.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "I said that you were a good kisser... and, uh, that I liked your teeny, tiny tushy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "And under problems with performance, I wrote, 'Dear God, I hope not.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Hey, you cry every time somebody talks about Titanic. / Those two had only each other.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "See?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Because 'tushy' can mean both ass... and good worker.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "I tell you, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Maybe. Isn't she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud? / BOTH: Yeah, that's her.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "You know what would work? Stop making candy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "You want to talk about getting people to like you, huh, funny man?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Perhaps like an airplane seat, or a beanbag chair.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Okay. I would ring the bell to distract him... and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "You swore.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "By the way, the week before your wedding, you may not see a lot of me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Well, I would love to... but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "The bike... is dying.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "You wrote that you have a cute tushy? / Yes. I have a weird sense of humor. And I'm kind of strangely proud of my butt.", "c": ["Mr. Zelner", "Tag"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me? With a cute butt like this, I'd find work.", "c": ["Tag"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Candy Lady? / No, not 'Candy Lady.' / If we know it, can we get candy?", "c": ["Neighbor", "Joey", "Neighbor"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "No, smokes-a-lot lady blew smoke directly into my mouth.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Don't be so corny, Ross. It's not an After School Special.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The One With All The Candy"}, {"t": "Skull? Yeah, it's my mom's. Oh, my God! No, no, no. It's not my mom. It belonged to my mom.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "She used to put it out every Christmas to remind us that even though it's Christmas, people still die.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "And you can put candy in it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die. You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Did you know he was in there? No. How long have we been home? About half an hour.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "'Bing' is weird. Yeah, I know what you mean. Gellar!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Why do you think she's having so much fun living with Joey? No reason, except she told me.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Oh, your mom probably won't kill herself. No, the funeral director probably won't hit on you. Yeah, that nice couple probably will adopt you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "History teaches us nothing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "'Bing' doesn't seem so weird now, does it?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Drums? No, drums!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. But not that sorry, because you don't have to live with it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Is this because of the burrito thing?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "All right, calm down, O'Malley.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Had the money in the wrong hand.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Christmas Eve.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Santa has reindeers that can fly.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Okay, it's not a contest.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Was I bad? No. Oh, no, no. Hey, you weren't bad. You've been very good, Ben. Santa's mad at me.", "c": ["Ben", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Will you keep it at Mommy's? Okay. Then sure!", "c": ["Ross", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "I didn't say 'die.' I said 'cry.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "We'd be eating our soup right now. Mustached bastard.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Tequila!", "c": ["Joey", "Emma"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Definitely not easier with coins.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "why not get him something more subtle like a wrecking ball or a vial of smallpox to release in the hallway?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Oh, my eye! Oh, God, my eye!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "What is rock 'n' roll about that?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "It's a tarantula!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it died because my cat ate it. And then my cat died.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Is it on me? I feel like it's on me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "You might as well have just gotten him a fish. You know how fish freak me out.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "I remember paying for the window, but I don't remember how it broke.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "No, these are my pants.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "I do have 74 of them coming back on the 26th.", "c": ["Costume shop employee"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "I'm the Holiday Armadillo!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Texas? That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the Southern states. And Mexico!", "c": ["Ross", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Because armadillos also wandered in the desert?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "You want to wander in the hall?", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Santa!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "What are you doing here, Weird Turtle Man?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Well, it would have worked this time if his hands weren't so damn small.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "There's a sentence I never thought I'd say.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowlful of jelly.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "if Santa and the Holiday Armadillo are ever in the same room for too long, the universe will implode!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "No, why can't the armadillo leave? I want Santa.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Fine, I give up. Santa can stay!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Merry Christmas!", "c": ["Superman"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "There's a skylight?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Starting to feel her again there, are we?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "You heard it too? You have the gift.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "She said that since you get to keep the one-bedroom apartment, you should give Rachel the purple chair. No, I do not hear that.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "She didn't say 'chair,' she said 'share.' You should share the one-bedroom apartment. Oh, the purple chair. No, yeah, I heard that.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "The armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Why is Santa kissing Aunt Monica?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Because Aunt Monica was very, very good this year.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Looks like the Easter Bunny's funeral in here.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunny's funeral?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "Joey, will you just come out here and stop being such a baby!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The One With The Holiday Armadillo"}, {"t": "You have got to try this cheesecake... Oh, you know, I'm not that much of a sweet tooth... [GROANS] Oh, my God, it's so creamy.", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Chandler, this isn't addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. [GASPS] Thief.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Because it's too delicious.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate: 'Mama's Little Bakery.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "I feel terrible. I'm a horrible, horrible, horrible person. Well, I'm sorry, what?", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "You know how I'm in a coma? Today they do a test on me and it turns out I'm not brain-dead. So... Ah-ah, Mr. Smarty-Pants. It's just my character that's not brain-dead.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey. We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Wow. Did not know that. May I say how lovely you look today? Duly noted.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannie's made some new friends.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you call her and tell her that, you know, when we were kids... her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? If I hadn't stopped her, there probably wouldn't be a wedding to go to.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "She tried to undress me too. I used to undress my cousin Glenn.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "'Pheebs, can't make it. Got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "'Big Daddy'? Oh, that's a nickname we were trying out. Hey, you know what nickname never caught on? 'The Ross-a-tron.'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Whoa, what are you middle-naming me for?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there's a possibility for sex. Phoebe, he's right. That is the rule.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "How about dinner tomorrow night? I'll pay for myself.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Joe, while you're over there, how about another beer for 'The Ross-a-tron'?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "'Ross...' Is that back?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Well, I've forgotten what it tastes like, okay? It was cheesecake. It was fine.", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "It had a buttery, crumbly, graham-cracker crust... with a very rich... yet light cream-cheese filling.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Wow, my whole mouth just filled with saliva.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Where do you wanna go to lunch? Mama's Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Mel Torm\u00e9 died. Joey, that paper's like a year old. Oh, does that mean the Sam Goody's sale is over?", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Limited seating? I am just one tiny person. Yeah, but she doesn't know that. I mean, the last time she saw you... you would've turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Joan and I will just make an appearance... and then we'll leave early as a sign of protest. Joan? Yeah, Joan Tedeschi, my date. She's an assistant professor in the Linguistics Department. Tall, very beautiful. And despite what some people say, not broad-backed.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. You got 'Ross Geller and guest'? I wasn't invited, and you got 'and guest'?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "She's an assistant professor in the Linguistics Department, okay? They're wild.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Mrs. Braverman must be out. She could be out of town. Maybe she'll be gone for months. By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We don't want her to come back to bad cheesecake. That could kill her. Wouldn't want that.", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Oh, you say someone's name enough, they turn around.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Did you get a haircut? Yeah. Well, I got like 30 of them.", "c": ["Phoebe", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "There's a statue in Minsk... that reminds me of you so much. I mean, um, it's actually of Lenin... but, you know, at certain angles...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "And now, you know, what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life... comes back from Russia just for one night, I should change my beliefs? I should change my beliefs.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "No. No, no. If I don't have my principles, I don't have anything. God, you are so strong. Or I should rush through dinner with Joey and I could meet David at 9.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Oh, it's, um... It's tofu cake. Do you want some? Aah.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "I think she's trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "I'm a relative and I didn't get invited, okay? A blood relative. Blood. Stop saying 'blood' to strangers.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Actually, we're out of the lobster ravioli. Oh, well, that changes everything.", "c": ["Waiter", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "You know what I really want? Is to have a long, long talk. You know? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Okay, well, my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too. She was? Well, she graduated high school.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "I will give you $100 to whistle right now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "We are dessert stealers. We are living outside the law.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Oh, you know what? I think Monica would be very interested to know... that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "No sharing, no switching, and don't come crying to me... if you eat your piece too fast. [SHOUTS]", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Ha, ha. I may just sit here and have my cake all day. Just sit here in the hallway and eat my...", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Every time, on the lips. Why? Why on the lips?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to Mom. That bitch.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Stuart. I believe you know my husband. So it's really a question of 'who' could you have possibly done.", "c": ["Frannie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "That's really beautiful. What does it mean? 'Please clean my beakers.' I don't get out of the lab much.", "c": ["Phoebe", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Hey, you could always visit him. Oh, right. Like they're gonna let me have a passport.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "I could give it a shot.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Oh, look. There's a piece that doesn't have floor on it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Why? Why on the lips?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The One With All The Cheesecakes"}, {"t": "Ross: Well, technically, it started 7 billion years ago.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "RACHEL: No, no. JOEY: Oh, God.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Okay. Fine, I'll stop. No teaching, okay?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "We'll just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Whose official name is Bapstein-King. Okay! Okay!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "That's a plane. / Well, all right, 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high... that's pretty amazing too.", "c": ["Character", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "I wonder if you can see my apartment. / No, you can't. / What? / I don't know.", "c": ["Character", "Character", "Character", "Character"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Know what else makes you wonder? Check out the rack on that chick.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "I mean, Chandler's getting chilly.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "No, I'm not. / Then why are you wearing Monica's jacket? / Because it's flattering!", "c": ["Chandler", "Character", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Shh. Get me out of here.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Check this out. / Is it the comet? / No. Look, there's a bug stuck in tar right here.", "c": ["Character", "Ross", "Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "You know, there's two women, dude.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "You wanted to come up here and look for some stupid Burger King comet.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "It's called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? Hey, Bapstein was a very well-respected astronomer from... / No! No! No!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duvall. Armageddon is what's going to happen to you if you wake me up.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Because every time I look at that cover, I'm like: [SNORES]", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "It's in the living room, where there's also a light... and no one will kick you in the shin.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Please don't be a spaceship. Please don't be a spaceship.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "How could you be beeping? I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can...? [BEEPS] Don't interrupt me!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Ross. / I was thinking we'd just go down the fire escape.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "I know. I wasn't finished. / But don't worry! We're gonna go down the fire escape!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "With a wok?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Damn you, Oprah!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "The second sister dies?!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "The second sister dies in Archie and Jughead Double Digest? / That's correct.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Like the thing when you put the phone in your pants?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Then I put a little heart in the corner because I didn't wanna seem too bossy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Maybe I'm embarrassed because you talk on the phone with your crotch.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Oh! When did you unhook this? Nice work!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "It'll be just like bungee jumping, you know? But instead of bouncing back up, you won't.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not gonna lie to you, Joey. It's a possibility.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Tail. Oh! / Can you see what it is? / No.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "What do you want from me?!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "And who's this chippy? A little young for you, but whatever. / That's my sister. / Really? Very cute braces.", "c": ["Rachel", "Tag", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "How can your genitals make phone calls? Okay? It's not a perfect world. Just go, please?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "I still don't get it.", "c": ["Tag"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "You do know that was me that just said that, right?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "'Do you want soup or salad?' Both, always order both.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Noisy bitch!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "No, we were in the middle of sex... and you fell asleep. / No. No, that's not true. / No, best time ever. / Yeah. You rock my world.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Well, I probably won't spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor. / Okay, I'm up. I'm up.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "So they slid out of your bottom drawer... crawled across the floor, then jumped onto my desk? / How did you know they were in my bottom drawer?", "c": ["Tag", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "I am so hot for you right now.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Your fire alarm was in the trash. / That's not mine. / Yes, it is. / How do you know? / If you dump a fire alarm, don't use a blanket that says: 'Property of Phoebe Buffay, not Monica.'", "c": ["Fireman", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked, this was still America.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "There's a reset button? Oh, thank you. Thank you. / Oh. There's a reset button? My God! Why didn't I see that? Reset button. Reset button. Where is there a reset button? Oh, here it is! Oh! [CONTINUES BEEPING]", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Oh, my... How much do you weigh, Ross? / I prefer not to answer that right now. I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Ross, my pants are starting to come down, and I'm not wearing any underwear. / Whoa!", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "Ow! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when... Ooh, a quarter!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "I have to be up in seven minutes. / Well, you're not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes... / Really? You want to? / Okay. You get the vacuum cleaner. I'll get the furniture polish.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Monica", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Theyre Up All Night"}, {"t": "And your lap does not count.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Rosita does not move.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "The big deal is that it's the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen...and it's at the perfect angle so you don't get any glare coming off of Stevie.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Stevie the TV?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, what does he know? Come on, Rosita. Us chicas gotta stick together.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "You bitch.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "I can't believe I still don't know what happened to the window in the attic.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "She's not even cold yet.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "But don't you think Rosita would've wanted you to move on? I mean, you know, she did always put your comfort first.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Well, after 15 years of Mom and Dad keeping it as a shrine to you...it's time the velvet ropes came down.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, please. Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out. And I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victoria's Secret catalogs? Not a gym.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "I was their firstborn. They thought she was barren. It's not my fault.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "That was me and Ross.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Yeah, it'd probably be better than the last telephone job I had. You know, I probably won't have to say 'spank' as much.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, like you never called.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Yeah, you're right. This is easy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "What is toner?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Something terrible must have happened here.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Stevie, I was never here.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "And hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack...in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "But I do know that there are six or seven Easy-Bake Ovens in the attic.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Yeah, not as much as you loved to play 'uncooked batter eater.'", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Hey. It is unreasonable to expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "They must be your mother's. But please, please don't ask her. I'll throw these away.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "I think I accidentally used Monica's boxes...to keep the water away from the Porsche.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "You don't secretly smoke, do you? No. So it's just your mother, then.", "c": ["Jack", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Is that because you're out of toner?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "I only had one thing to do today. I guess I could push it back.", "c": ["Earl"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Chandler?", "c": ["Earl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody, uh...I'm gonna kill myself. [pause] I got nothing.", "c": ["Earl"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Now, if anybody asks...your name is Rosita.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "She's healed.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "If you want something enough and your heart is pure...wondrous things can happen.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Look, all my stuff is safe and dry. And all her stuff is...growing new stuff.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "You know, if you want to tell the medical marvel story while we work...that'd be fine.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "My chair heals itself.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "The new girl's good.", "c": ["Unknown coworker"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Without that coloring book. Really? Wow. Looks like I had some trouble staying inside the lines.", "c": ["Monica", "Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Well, there was also leaves and gook and stuff.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Screw it. I'm having one.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Are you telling me...that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit Magazine called 'Chair of the Year'?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Well, what did you think? That elves came in and fixed it? No. Angels.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, no. This is devastating. My faith is shaken. I'm so glad I have the new chair to get me through this difficult time in my life.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Sorry, I don't know any Earl. I'm right here!", "c": ["Coworker", "Earl"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "I thought it was toner.", "c": ["Earl"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Really? How? I'm not gonna give you tips.", "c": ["Earl", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "My mother was also a supply manager. I'm actually the office manager. Oh, my God. So was she!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Earl"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl. Pearl.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Philadelphia. Oh, my God, so was she!", "c": ["Earl", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Well, I'm wearing layers, and it's warm.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "I really wish they'd care just a little bit.", "c": ["Earl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Mon, I think it was a mouse. [SCREAMS]", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "You've wrecked all my childhood memories...you love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "I was driving it the other day and I saw my reflection in a window. Your mother's right, I do look like an ass.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "I mean, a couple of stupid boxes get wet, and she gets a Porsche? What about me? I'm a medical marvel!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? I get a Porsche and the Barcalounger's gone? Heh. This is the best day ever!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Rosita Dies"}, {"t": "She's not as pretty as she was when she was 29.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Please don't use the words 'old' or 'downhill'... or 'They still look pretty damn good.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Can I keep the presents and still be 29?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Really? Is that how you felt when you turned 30? Why, God, why? We had a deal. Let the others grow old, not me!", "c": ["unknown", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Your roommate's a soap opera star. Your character is in a coma.", "c": ["Phoebe", "unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "I promised myself I wouldn't cry at this one.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you shouldn't compare yourself to me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "I did it! One mile on a Hippity Hop.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Girls, this thing is a godsend, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Doing nothing on your 30th is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "How hot do I look in this?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Ross, a sports car? Wouldn't it be cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "What's the horsepower? I don't know, but look how shiny!", "c": ["unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Ross's car won't start after promising the smoothest ride", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Son of a bitch! Look, I know what you're going through. I'm totally freaked out about turning 25.", "c": ["Rachel", "Tag"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Get out of my apartment.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "But it hurts my Joey's apple.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "For the last time, it's not named after each individual man.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "It's older than that. Ross was conceived right near this tuxedo.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Might want to puke on you later.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "That they know of.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "What about your breath? That's still yours.", "c": ["unknown", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Rachel's delayed and confused 'Surprise!' reaction", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "I'll break into this minivan, put it in neutral. You push it forward so Ross can get out of the spot.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Yeah, we're not 30. We're 31. That's what it says on my birth certificate. You have a birth certificate?", "c": ["Phoebe", "unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Do you have mine? No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.", "c": ["unknown", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Your middle name is Pamela? Yes. I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is? Yes. Phoebe. That's my first name. Right. Okay. Then, no.", "c": ["unknown", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "I'll get twice as drunk, then no one will even notice her.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "For my last birthday, you gave me a hug.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "No, no. That was a joke. I know, I get it. It's funny. Because you're not a grandma. To be a grandma, you have to be married and have children. I don't have any of those things. That's why it's so funny.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "And you want to have them all at the same time and all for your brother.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Really? That long?", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, it's like watching Bambi learn how to walk.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "I want to make love to you right here, right now. I really wish that you wouldn't.", "c": ["Monica", "unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "I didn't even have to take off my top yet.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "That's right, Mom and Dad. Your little old 'Harmomica' is hammered.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "That's not gonna happen. Because we have a new deal.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Like I haven't met any Portuguese people. I haven't had the perfect kiss. And I haven't been to sniper school.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "That's one thing to cross off your list.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Plus, I'm one-sixteenth Portuguese.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Ross and friends fail to lift the sports car", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Whatever. I'm not your mother. Not in the street!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Twenty-four, actually. Oh, God.", "c": ["Tag", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "If I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "Yes! My baby's finally free.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "How hot are we?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "You want to buy a car?", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The One Where They All Turn Thirty"}, {"t": "It's just... Monica said, 'wedding.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Do you think you could get through a poem? / A short one.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Whatever it is, I hope it involves winking.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "You're not gonna believe it. My character is coming out of his coma!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "So great things are happening at work and in your personal life.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "It's ridiculous that you haven't had sex in three and a half months.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "It's winter. There are fewer people on the street.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "I don't think I've ever seen her finish a beverage.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Mainly because he's kissing that other guy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, he's too cute to be straight.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Knockers will help us figure it out.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Or we could use it to call China, see how those guys are doing.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "That wasn't a date. That was friends getting together and having sex.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Yeah, and until now, I didn't think I would love again.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Aha! Too slow! / Aha! Too cocky.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "What are you going to do, kill him? Like you did Charles? / That was an accident. / And so were you.", "c": ["Cecilia", "Other character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Can I get some ice here?!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Oh, that was a real person?", "c": ["Cecilia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Which writer? Was it bald or was it tall?", "c": ["Cecilia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Fine. But I bet you'd be singing a different tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "No way. You can't use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Oh, all right. Oh, so close. If only it said, 'yogurt.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "His new girlfriend.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "I think it's the Dying Cat Parade.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Why is your family Ross?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "It'll be like when he rapped at my bat mitzvah.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "I think it's 'Celebration' by Kool and the Gang.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Yes, she is. Just one moment, please. It's for me!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "You know, to think about my mom and her suicide. / Oh, Phoebe! / What? That's the first time today.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "I'm 16. / See you in 2003.", "c": ["Underage person", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "I can do an English accent?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "That baby's going on my r\u00e9sum\u00e9.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Vikings.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Sitting down and being quiet.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Because we hate them.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "I'll bet there'll be a wee bit of celebration.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "It's a little weird, but it's getting better.", "c": ["Cecilia"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Probably should've just left years ago when the offers were pouring in... but I just got so comfy here and... I turned down some amazing work. Like what? Well, let's just say if I'd left 15 years ago... the landscape of Mexican cinema would be very different today.", "c": ["Cecilia"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "But I'm also thinking, 'She is hot.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "No, it's because that way the camera only sees her.", "c": ["Cecilia"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Wow, how long were we arguing for?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "We were waiting for a hot guy, and then an even hotter one shows up.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "No, they do, but you just have to wait.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Actually, I rent the whole place. I just got what you meant. Thank you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "That explains all the women's underwear. / Sure.", "c": ["Cecilia", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "I'd love to, but my lawyer said I can't do that anymore.", "c": ["Cecilia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "You're a stupid bitch. / I really can't slap you.", "c": ["Rachel", "Cecilia"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "After this, she's not gonna be crazy about electricity either.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "No. / No.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Don't you recognize your own... mother?", "c": ["Joey as Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "The airport? / No, that's LaGuardia.", "c": ["Joey", "Cecilia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "And I just got what you meant. That is... That's a tricky one.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The One With Joeys New Brain"}, {"t": "Before we do, are any of Joey's special \"romance\" magazines in there?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "That's Rachel. But whatever.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Ben would be there.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "He's not an ex-con.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "I wasn't talking to you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Easy for you to say, you'd be wearing a veil.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "I don't like the idea of me saying, \"I do\"... while he's thinking, \"I'd do it too.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "We're getting \"married\" married, not \"6th-grade\" married.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Does calling it not mean anything anymore?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "And when I say legitimate, I mean gay... and in control of his saliva.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Because you guys were on a break..", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Fifty-two minutes.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "I'm funny, Ben, but I'm not stupid.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Everyone knows I'm an ass man.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Internet ministers can have sex, right?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Saran wrap on the toilet seat... so the pee goes everywhere.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "I was barefoot.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Just got off the Internet. Man, there's a lot of porn out there.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "It is a love based on giving and receiving... as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Should we call the spitter?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "I found him!", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?\" / \"Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?\"", "c": ["Rachel", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Oh, damn it! / Damn it! / Go back to repeating. / Damn it!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Only I won't say \"hooked up\"... I'll say, \"began their beautiful journey... by doing it.\"", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "I call that \"London style.\"", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms..", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Enough to know I want to do this. Not so much that you should feel guilty.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Well, I have kissed over four women.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Well, I think it's safe to say our friendship is effectively ruined. / Eh, we weren't that close anyway.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "For just you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Imagine if I had sent that hooker like I was gonna?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Yeah, baby. / No, baby.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "You wanted to sleep with Batman and settled for Robin.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "No, Robin is so gay.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Carol... Lesbian.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Dude, don't you ever wash your face?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "You want this scone? It came for me but it would rather sleep with you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "Honey, dinner's ready! / What's my little chef got for me tonight? / Your favorite. / Ho, ho, ho... fried stuff with cheese.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "How you doing?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "You got something on your back.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Truth About London"}, {"t": "- You're into swing music? I used to go all over town listening to bands. - Chandler? - Gap commercial.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "- What is your job? - Staying out of the way.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "- There were only 12. - Oh, yeah, I added three.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Being engaged, I'm not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "This street is the first in the city to have an underground sewer system. Before that, sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Sometimes ankle-deep.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Smooth.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Oh, my God!", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "If I knew you, I'd cry.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Ball like a baby.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "- I'm not. I just like to try these on. - I do the same thing. I'm just kidding. I'm getting married July 25. I'm just kidding too. I'm getting married in December.", "c": ["Megan", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "I almost called off my wedding.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Is that spelled with a C or a K? It doesn't matter, they're both great!", "c": ["Megan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "I own this store.", "c": ["Store Owner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "So does this come in another color, or...?", "c": ["Megan"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Guy who was helping me had to leave because he hurt his back.", "c": ["Kristen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "What a beautiful name. What is it again?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Don't take a nap on this stoop. You could wake up with your shoes gone.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "You look strong. Why don't I take that, and you grab one of the boxes.", "c": ["Kristen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "So when they open those doors, fan out.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Three sharp blasts. When you hear it, come running.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "No, not it. Not it. Not it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Don't crowd me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "You freak!", "c": ["Megan"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Maybe I do. I'm pretty feisty!", "c": ["Megan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Okay! Hey? Oh, what do I do?!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "You gotta hold my hand!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with every flush?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "I mean, that doofus is going to lose.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Or I'm the one who dates her.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "That's interesting. But check this out. I date her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "And a slice... $6?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Can I borrow $94?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "You listen here, missy!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Does that mean Carcass is available?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "For me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "What's this? Did you give yourself a facial? I have an oily T-zone.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "I sent the flowers before the actual date, so technically... I didn't break any rules.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Joey got meat sauce on the banister again.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "They suck so much that people die at their concerts. They just stop living.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "you were the woman that I wanted to dance all my dances with.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Oh, crap.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "I guess the more muscles you have... the more they can spasm out of control.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "I don't anymore.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "That's right. Don't you play a woman?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "A woman in a man's body. Much better.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "another time after that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Have you ever been so hungry on a date... that when the girl goes to the bathroom, you eat her food?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "You said the waiter ate my crab cake.", "c": ["Kristen"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Was it because the woman was straight or because she was a lesbian?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Just seems like Ross is the kind of guy who'd marry a woman... on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Were you on a poster for gonorrhea?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Have you ever slept in the same bed with a monkey?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "You leave Marcel out of this!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet, VD-boy?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Monkey-lover!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Probably around gonorrhea.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Does a bear shit in the woods?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "No. We only mess around at his place.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Wow. You look hideous.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "That's like the most ugliest dress I've ever seen.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "It makes me want to rip it off you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "I should probably leave you girls alone.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Laugh all you want, but in 10 minutes, we'll have younger-looking skin.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "Oh, nice shot! Yeah!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress"}, {"t": "thing-a-ding-ding", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "put eyes on the 'hoojies' and we'll just say it's just some sort of weird elephant", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Too soon. You go.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Is that something you're making up? / No, no, no, it's real! And it has been, since 1998.", "c": ["Unknown", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "write 'NASA' on the side and then give it to Ross", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "That's the third most prestigious soap opera award there is!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "You're getting married. This is all I have.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "With two tennis balls.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "But in my head, it sounded something like this: [dinosaur noise]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "What did I get? / Seven.", "c": ["Ned", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "That brings me in the loop a little.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "In spite of what may be written on the backs of these chairs.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "But if Chandler's in an accident and can't perform sexually... he'd want you to take a lover to satisfy needs he'd no longer fulfill.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "You should be embarrassed.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "I thought you knew I looked at you. / I did, but that was really fun.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "I'm fourth?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "No big deal. I do that with my shampoo bottle. / Really? / Yeah. / What award are you practicing for? / Grammy.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "You're up against the guy who survived his own cremation.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "You practice losing the Grammys too? / No, at the Grammys, I always win.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "What's your dog's name again? / Joey.", "c": ["Waitress", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "I feel like I've had 10 drinks today. I've only had six.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "No, a guy would say, 'I'll never get to sleep with anyone else.' / I'll never sleep with anyone else!", "c": ["Monica", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Whoa, what? / Ross has a boyfriend!", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Not right now.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "How'd you get over that teacher? / I didn't. I got under him.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Bye! / Bye! / I'll miss you! / I'll miss you too!", "c": ["Monica", "Jake", "Monica", "Jake"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Pull my finger.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "I was in the bathroom, and Susan Lucci came out of a stall... and she had toilet paper on her shoe, so I took it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Can I squeeze your ass? / On TV? / Yeah!", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "What the...?!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, Jessica couldn't be with us tonight... so I'll accept this award on her behalf.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Sure I do. It's a verb. As in 'I be half-in' it'!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "It could also be a Grammy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Joey, it says 'Best Supporting Actress.' / I can scratch that right off.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "If I can't have it, you can't have it! [breaks award]", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "What? / He's totally yanking your chain. He's done this with three other teachers.", "c": ["Ross", "Lewis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "I love you. / All right. / What? It's true.", "c": ["Lewis", "Ross", "Lewis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "All right, fine. You love me so much, come over here and give me a kiss.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "You got an 80! You didn't even fail! Have some self-respect!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "When you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship... don't communicate them to your husband.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "The woman who married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Does this also mean that putting out doesn't get you love?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "No, I try to save that for real awards.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "No, when I first meet somebody... it's mostly panic, anxiety and a great deal of sweating.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "I was dangerously dehydrated the first six months of our relationship.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Besides, you know what? I'll have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Water. Water. Water.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Did you get a little haircut? / Yeah, yeah. Do you like it? Do you love it?", "c": ["Ned", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "You used me! You don't love me and you never did!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "And, you know, to win one for a massage! Especially just after winning a Tony Award for Best Actress... in Reservations at Eight by Neil Simon.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The One With Joeys Award"}, {"t": "Practicing blowing you off. I'm gonna be a big movie star!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "The director's supposed to be the next-next Martin Scorsese.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "A guy from Chicago's supposed to be the next Martin Scorsese. This guy's right after him.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "My grandmother's gonna see this. - Grandma's gonna have to get in line.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "I have one of those with every woman in America.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "I wonder if she still carries a Barbie everywhere? - She's 25 years old. - So? I still... You're probably right.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. We have to throw her a shower?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "That's what you say about porn.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Plus, everyone is gonna see your thing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Well, if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo, we're done.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Just calm down, woman! ...Phoebe, I already did. ...All right, then I need to calm down.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "And chili. - Ah, you went one too far.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Lusts of the Flesh. ...I don't know. Cowboy theme?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "What do you think, bossy and domineering? ...The wedding's off, sloppy and immature. ...Get rid of her, obsessive and shrill! ...Shrill? The wedding is back on.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "I wasn't staring. I was listening intently. It's called being a good conversationalist.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "You were staring about eight inches south of there.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "So this Aunt Marilyn, is she coming to the wedding? ...Wafer-thin ice.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "You made a bad decision and ruined your movie. Good day!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "And scene. ...Huh? Wasn't that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Bar mitzvah-ed?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "This is not like learning to ride a horse. This is like learning to...grow a turtleneck.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "I'm thinking...double-sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Olive loaf? I hope that won't work.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "No, it's, um, more like a wrap.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Last time I saw you...you were setting up your tent in line for Return of the Jedi. ...So you did see me that day. Because it seemed like you didn't.", "c": ["Ross", "Cassie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! You do a great Chandler!", "c": ["Cassie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Well, maybe after we get re-acquainted, uh, you could do me. Yeah. No!", "c": ["Cassie", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Cassie, how you...? How you doing on that...hot dog?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "It took you that long to figure it out, huh? ...Um, I'm a little slow. ...Just as our children would be.", "c": ["Cassie", "Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "There's a word for people like that: Losers.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "I'm interested to find out who's been doing her taxes the last four years.", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Okay, this one's a mushroom cap. Uh, this one is made of bologna. ...And... And the toothpicks? ...Just until the glue dries.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "I also did a little something in fur, but, uh, that's really just for me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Ow. ...Toothpick? Yeah. ...What are you trying now? The Fruit Roll-up. ...And? Delicious.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "She's your cousin. She's your cousin.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "She was the one that wanted to rent Logan's Run...the sexiest movie ever.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. I'm going in.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, this is the longest...that anyone has not talked ever!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "I haven't had sex in a very long time. ...Yeah, you really shouldn't have said anything.", "c": ["Ross", "Cassie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "First, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower. Then, forgetting to invite you to it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Now I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love. I get all those presents without talking to people I don't even like!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "I totally understand you need to...make sure I don't have any horrible scars or tattoos. Don't you worry. I have nothing to hide.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "I tell you, that has never happened before.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "What? Say something. Say anything. Ask her out! She's not your cousin!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Ross And Monicas Cousin"}, {"t": "Hey, out of all of us, who do you think will get married next?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Probably Monica and Chandler.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Melissa Worbert. I don't think I have the energy for this.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Ray-Ray Green?", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "You've been MIA for seven sorority newsletters.", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Oh, shut up more! Are you friends with Ralph?", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "You're having dinner with me.", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Oh, no, heh, that's an old card. Um, I got out of that to do something where I could... help people and make a difference. ... I'm a party planner.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Hey guys, look who's back. It's Ray-Ray.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Who you what? Who you what?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "They were lovers.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "So that's two of my wives.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Why don't we just put me with a Manhattan in my hand... talking to the cute bartender.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Chandler, relax. It's not a contest. Certainly not a close one.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Stop picturing it!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Well, if this is the wedding hall, then, um... your parents would be over here at home in Queens.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Look, I thought parents were coming. Your parents are coming. Chandler's parents are coming. Ross' parents are coming. Ross' parents are my parents.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "You just want more blue pins.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Maybe you'll order a little sangria.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "I'm Monica's maid of honor. Okay, don't try to blue-pin me.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Might I suggest watching a little more ESPN... and a little less E!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Ah, it's not just that. I would be England's most powerful weapon. A jet-setting heartbreaker on Her Majesty's secret service. A man who fears no one, with a license to kill.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Would Monica let me wear this?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "No, I'm not wearing a tux. What are you gonna wear? Multi-colored robes. Ooh, and maybe a hat.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "I won't talk. You'll just hear my video camera.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm sure that happened. It did. Sure.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Which means she had a couple spritzers and a peck on the cheek.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Why are you taking this away from me?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Okay. I just didn't know that you were a lesbian.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Vanilla? I'm not vanilla. I do lots of crazy things. I mean, I got drunk and married in Vegas. To Ross.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "You should get inside my head.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "A freakishly thin date with a hanger for a head?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Made expressly for Val Kilmer, and worn by him in the hit film... that Batman film he was in.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Hello! You have the most special thing of all. You are marrying the woman you love. [SPEAKING GIBBERISH]", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Pretty please? Not very, uh, 007.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "You slept with my sister. That was pretty 007.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "That's too bad. It's true. But too bad.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Is it her fault if some didn't make it to you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "They hate the post office. And the Irish. But I don't think you could blame it on them.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "What are they, Irish?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Yes. I was a, um, Thigh Mega Tampon.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Yeah, we were huge too. But they had to shut us down... when Regina Phalangie died of alcohol poisoning.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Isn't it a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch?", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Remember we... Come on, we had sarongs on and the coconut bikini tops. We went back to the house and got really silly... and we made out.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Wow, Ray-Ray, I have no idea what you're talking about.", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Batman has Robin.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Actually I don't like martinis. A Yoo-Hoo with a funny straw? Ooh, yum.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Right, the wedding. Gotcha.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "My part's in the beginning. I'm not in the rest of the show... Wedding.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "In Joey Tribbiani, you get a minister and an entertainer. I'm a 'ministainer.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "I don't remember a lot of things that never happened.", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Our coconuts kept knocking together. Somewhere Joey's head is exploding.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece. Between you and? Gunther.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "I could see 00 and 7 in those things.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Holy double-vented comfort, Batman!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "The only super power you have is the slightly heightened sense of smell.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "You want your mom at the altar screaming racial slurs? I don't care.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "I wear it like this when I marry you guys. And then this... is for party time.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "That night was the one wild thing I've ever done in my life. I won't let you take it away from me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You love me.", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "I can still hear the coconuts knocking together, I... I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't think you'd return my love.", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "I'm just a good kisser. Shut up.", "c": ["Rachel", "Melissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "I don't picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend.", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "What the hell was that? Just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. And? I've had better.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Well, you know what they say? 23rd time's a charm.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Diane Keaton.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The One With Rachels Big Kiss"}, {"t": "Do you realize you get louder each week?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "I figured I'd just buy those. \"Pat, I'd like to buy a vow.\"", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "You know I've no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Look at her go. She must love me more than I love her!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "What's wrong with me? Don't open that door.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "There are no words! This shouldn't be this hard!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "With Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Except your breasts look kind of small. Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "All right, there's a nuclear holocaust. I'm the last man on earth. Would you go out with me?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "There are seven? That's one? I was looking at it upside down.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Well, you know, sometimes that helps.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "...a four, a three-two... two, a two-four-six. Two-four-six, four, two... two, four-seven... five-seven, six-seven... seven, seven... seven, seven, seven, seven, seven... seven!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "No fair! I don't even have one, how come they get two?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Why wouldn't I be married when I'm 40? Hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40? What is it? Seriously, is there something fundamentally un-marriable about me?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Nothing! I said, you're so great, and then I just stopped talking.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "You said you love me! I can't believe this. - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. - No, I didn't! - You love me! - No, I don't!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "What if we live together, and you understand what I'm saying?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "There's a reason why girls don't do this!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "How is \"Monica, I love your sweet ass\" inappropriate?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Let's say it's lucky she's got a sweet ass because she's not so good at the writing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Nine out of 10 marriages end in divorce. - Phoebe, that's not true. - Yeah, you're right. How's the missus?", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Chicken? I could eat some chicken. Hey, Joe!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big...", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "It's okay! It's okay! - No! They're doing it! I know! I know! - You know? - Yes, I know!", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Or we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "The messers become the messees!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "They don't know that we know they know we know.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Couldn't if I wanted to.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Well, come here. I'm very happy we're gonna have all the sex.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "You should be. I'm very bendy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Okay, okay, okay, fine, you win!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "I love her! That's right, I love her! I love her!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "I thought you guys were doing it. I didn't know you were in love.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Get off my sister!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "But I don't want them to move to a Volvo dealership.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "That little naked guy would be me. Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grownups now?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Let me see. No, that would be me again.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Don't worry, honey. We'll make yours funnier.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "How did you write this? I stole Monica's and changed the name.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "If he goes first, he can!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Vows"}, {"t": "Ross drives it? When I ask, you say you're the only one allowed to.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "He's my brother, plus he drives so slow he couldn't hurt it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship. Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You let Joey drive it? - I've never driven it. Not once.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Okay, once. Okay, I drive it all the time.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "So much for the 'you-can-drive-it but-don't-tell-Rachel' plan.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I can fix this. Monica, Rachel thinks all you talk about is the wedding.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I won't let you drive the Porsche because you're a terrible driver.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "There. That wasn't about the wedding.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You got a couple hours?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Whew, that was a brisk ride. - Take the top down, did you? - Only way to fly.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "In high school, that added up to head cheerleader.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Did you see how she looked at me? She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy. - She's checking out your beehive. - What?", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Give me a brush. - The keys. - No way! - Well, no brush. Fine. It doesn't matter. If I remember correctly, there's a comb on the floor of the bathroom.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Alimony.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Oh, right. Maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "We don't run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys and he... stars in a drag show in Vegas.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I think I want to trade circles.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You don't want him there. Nobody will stare at the bride when the groom's father's wearing a backless dress.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "As long as he's not wearing a white dress and veil, I don't care.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I think I need to do some shopping.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "There's no way I'll let you drive this car. Just hand over the keys. Oh! Do not start this car.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Okay, okay. I will give you 20 bucks if you get out of this car right now. Hey!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "If you're so freaked out, get in the car. With you? Yeah, right. All right. Okay, okay, okay.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Get in front. - In the death seat?!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "That one kept going.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "What's your name?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "We're not eloping. Can our wedding be bigger, please?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You need a new word for what I went through.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "In high school, he came to all my swim meets... dressed as a Hollywood starlet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Hard enough to be 14, skinny, wearing Speedos Mom promised I'd grow into.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing a headdress with real fruit... that he'll later give to your friends as a healthy snack.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "He was at every one of your swim meets cheering you on. That's a pretty great dad.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi. - Who's Mr. Garibaldi? - Does it matter?!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "How much did you ever win before?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You know how when you're wearing pants and you lean forward... I check out your underwear? Well, when Jake did it... I saw that he was wearing women's underwear.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I know. They were mine.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "We were goofing around, and I dared him to try them on.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I'm wearing his briefs right now. - That's kind of hot.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Next he'll say your high heels are good for his posture.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "There's nothing wrong with Jake. He is all man. I think more than you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "He looked like a real lumberjack in those pink lacies.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Only a man completely secure in his masculinity could... walk around in women's underwear. I don't think you could.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You've seen my huge stack of porn.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You don't have a valid driver's license? Pull over right now.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I am not horsing around, okay? I am 'Porsche-ing' around.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Stay calm. Nothing will happen. You're not in that much trouble. Really? You think so? I'm talking to myself. You're going down!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I just ordered a beer. - You're straight. I get it.", "c": ["Chandler", "Waitress"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "It's very 'Cats in the Cradle.' I don't want to get into it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "And there's Daddy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "It's weird. I had a dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman. And then he... Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Officer... Handsome. - It's Hanson. - Oops, sorry. My mistake.", "c": ["Rachel", "Officer", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Really? You think so? You know, I had just rolled right out of bed.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "She should! It was taken 10 years ago!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You're an Aquarius, huh? - I'll bet you're a Gemini. - No. - Taurus? - No. - Virgo? - No. - Sagittarius? - Yep. I knew it. I knew it!", "c": ["Officer", "Rachel", "Officer", "Rachel", "Officer", "Rachel", "Officer", "Rachel", "Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Can he handle a stick? - Well... - I can handle a stick!", "c": ["Officer", "Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Oh, much better. You're invisible now.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Where are you from? - Bakersfield. - I'm sorry? - Bakersfield. No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry.", "c": ["Helena", "Audience Member", "Helena", "Audience Member", "Helena"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Look, a standing ovation already. So early in the show.", "c": ["Helena"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Can we have our drinks, please? Waiter? ...tress?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "How much of a man am I? Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "The silk feels really good. And things aren't as smashed down as I thought they would be.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You have so many more choices than with men's underwear. Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: cotton, silk, lace.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "What's your name? Chandler. Chandler? What an unusual name. You must have had terribly fascinating parents. Oh, they're a hoot.", "c": ["Helena", "Chandler", "Helena", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I'm not very fond of New York. Queens, I like.", "c": ["Helena"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "So, you're bald.", "c": ["Helena"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Then I wouldn't miss it for the world.", "c": ["Helena"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "I'm getting all misty here. You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something.", "c": ["Helena"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "When I was growing up, I played the one on the far left.", "c": ["Helena"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Remind me to introduce you to someone. - Who? - Fourth gear.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Maybe he saw your hands slip briefly from the 10 and 2:00 position.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Maybe it's Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You're right. It was 37.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You're not ticketing me for driving too slow, are you?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You know, officer... I had the weirdest dream last night. Oh, my God! Your license, please.", "c": ["Rachel", "Rachel", "Officer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Officer... Pretty? - It's Petty.", "c": ["Rachel", "Officer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "Not that I'm insecure about my manhood or anything, but... I need to hook up with a woman right now.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "You look familiar. Do I know you? I don't think so. Maybe it's because I'm on television. I'm an actor on Days of our Lives.", "c": ["Woman", "Joey", "Woman", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The One With Chandlers Dad"}, {"t": "From now on, it's you four and me and the missus. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Old? - The young, hot ball and chain.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Joey, you too? I just heard 'lunch.' Yeah, I can go. Sure.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "If you need money, it's a bad time. I'm buying 128 dinners tomorrow.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna say this as your friend... but as Monica's older brother. - But you're still my friend? - Not for a few minutes. - Right now, are you still my best man? - No.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Do I still call you Ross?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "What? I'm serious.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "You won't believe what Monica's brother just said to me!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I'm responsible for all those. I had to go with the odds.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Back then we called it 'The Great War.' It really was.", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "See you. I'm off to fight the Nazis.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Wait, Joey. We fought the Nazis in WWII, not WWI. Who was in WWI?", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Who did we fight in WWI? - Mexico? - Yes. Very good.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I can't believe this. This is incredible. You just won an Oscar. - No, I didn't. - I think you did. - I think I lost, three times.", "c": ["Joey", "Richard Crosby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I thought it might be a cool character thing. He's a face toucher.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Can my dad borrow one of your pearl necklaces? Did he say what kind of neckline he's wearing?", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I just met him once, but I'm guessing... plunging? He is more of a if-you've-got-it-flaunt-it kind of father.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Yes, include more people in this.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I have a date tomorrow night.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Well, Chandler.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "If you're calling after Saturday, you've reached Mr. And Mrs. Bing. Please leave a message for... the Bings!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "We're the Bings.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Thanks for wearing... something.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up too much for this.", "c": ["Nora Bing"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Just think, soon there will be lots of little Bings.", "c": ["Nora Bing"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I can't believe I'm going back to work to get spit on again.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "You're lucky. At least the people that spit on you are famous.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Are you his mother or father?", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "What? I've never seen one before.", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I wasn't even able to act like I'm okay with it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Aren't you a little old to wear a dress like that? Don't you have a little too much penis to wear a dress like that?", "c": ["Judy Geller", "Charles Bing"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Of course you can kick his ass, son. You could kick anyone's ass you want to.", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "He's the man in the black dress.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "A man, duh!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Dr. Ross Geller. Dad, please. As I was saying... I'm Dr. Ross Geller.", "c": ["Ross", "Jack Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "And he would've married her, only she couldn't control her bladder. It was his dog. Did I say it was his dog?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Maybe I can wear the dress for Halloween!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I said, I'll do it. Who wants it? Anybody? I said, I'll do it. Nobody? All right, I'll do it myself. I'm not gonna screw it up.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "What grandmother?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "And, if I remember correctly, Ray-Ban was the official sponsor of WWI.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Maybe it's not what we think. Maybe it's: 'Tell Monica I'm sorry I drank the last of the milk.' Or 'Tell Monica I'm sorry I used her tweezers to pluck my nose hair.' He does that. I've seen him.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Or maybe he was writing to tell her that he's changed his name: 'Tell Monica I'm Sorry.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Good God, isn't it possible that 'Sorry' is sitting in there right now?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "But if you don't find him and bring him back... I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I just hope that someday you guys find someone like Chandler. I hope we find someone exactly like Chandler and soon.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Could you lower the script? I don't want to.", "c": ["Richard Crosby", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "That's what real actors do. Enunciation is the mark of a good actor. And when you enunciate, you spit!", "c": ["Richard Crosby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Then we'll see you the day after tomorrow.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Gunther? She just added him to her list.", "c": ["Ross", "Jack Geller"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know I'm looking for her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Great scene! You were awesome. In that last speech, you soaked me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "No, you gotta get me out of it. I have plans. Important plans!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I'm getting married today! I cracked a rib, but I don't care. Today's my wedding! My day is finally here!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "She might not even notice he's gone.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "But she'll be in the gown and then he won't show up... then she'll have to take off the gown... Stop it. You can't do this here.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "This is Monica's bathroom, right?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "There was a pregnancy test in the garbage. And it's positive. Monica's pregnant.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "So I guess she won't be totally alone.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Can this count as her 'something new'?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "It's turning into the worst wedding ever. The bride's pregnant, the groom's missing and I'm still holding this.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Just for the future. This is hardly a commercial for it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Pretty sure they both think I'm interested in them.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I have documented night blindness.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I'm never gonna get married! Maybe I should just forget about it. Become a lesbian or something.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Maybe I'd feel better if I slept with Joey.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm marrying my best friend. Isn't that beautiful?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "It's not on my head.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I'm wearing two belts.", "c": ["Richard Crosby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "That is an old Chinese woman.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "He could be in disguise, you know.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "How'd you guys find me? I knew I should've hid at the gym.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Panicking. And using the Internet to try to prove that I'm related to Monica.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Have you ever put on a black dress and asked me up to your hotel room?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I don't race cars or make popcorn. None of my proceeds go to charity.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Right now no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Depends on what you mean by 'we.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Good old Chandler with the homophobic jokes.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Who's Mike Smith? I was sure this was my office.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "The days and nights are hard, I get it!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "That's such a hard time for me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Oh, good God, I've fallen down.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Found the vest. We'll have to keep an eye on it, make sure we don't lose it again.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "For a minute, I was like, 'Oh, my God! The worst has happened!'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Look, my best friends are getting married in, like, an hour, okay? And I'm the minister. Please, can you pull it together?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Slippery little bugger!", "c": ["Richard Crosby"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "At least I think that was what he said. It was difficult to understand with his legs wrapped around my head.", "c": ["Charles Bing"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I'm so happy for me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Damn it!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Don't hang up on me! I'll marry you and me right now! I have the power!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Anastassakis Papasifakis wedding. Excellent.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "They're my friends, Monica Stephanopolis. And Chandler Acidophilus.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "That was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then. Honey, it isn't good luck.", "c": ["Charles Bing", "Nora Bing"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "These are beads of joy. Don't touch me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Why would you play hide-and-seek with someone you know is a flight risk?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "You wouldn't happen to have a very big fork?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Is that my ass?", "c": ["Richard Crosby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "You're not walking out on my sister! I'm serious! What, you'll 'hi-yah'?", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "And I thought, 'Anything that can fit into this can't be scary.' You obviously didn't see Chucky III.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce.", "c": ["Charles Bing"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Not that old crone. My mother.", "c": ["Nora Bing"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Is this new? Not now.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I can take it from here. Thanks.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "You may be confused by this now... but you won't be Memorial Day weekend, 2002.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Let's get started before the groom takes off again.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "And now, as I've left my notes in my dressing room... we shall proceed to the vows.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "He took off? Go on. Go on.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Unless you don't want to.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. Do you take each other? I do. I do. Yeah, you do!", "c": ["Joey", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "What baby? Our baby. We have a baby?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Look at them. And they're gonna have a baby.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Can this count as her 'something new'?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "It's turning into the worst wedding ever. The bride's pregnant, the groom's missing and I'm holding this.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Just for the future. This is hardly a commercial for it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "It seemed like I called to chat. Pretty sure they both think I'm interested.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Give me two. Then why do you ask?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "You're tired. You looked all night. And clearly, you suck at this.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Maybe I should just forget about it. Become a lesbian or something.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Maybe I'd feel better if I slept with Joey.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I'm having surgery.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Hair transplant. But you're not bald. It's not on my head.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I'm wearing two belts.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "How'd you guys find me? I knew I should've hid at the gym.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "And using the Internet to try to prove that I'm related to Monica.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "They yell, fight, and use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Have you ever put on a black dress and asked me up to your hotel room?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I don't race cars or make popcorn. None of my proceeds go to charity.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "But look, Chandler, right now no one has a lower opinion of you than I do.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Depends on what you mean by 'we.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Days and nights are hard, I get it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Oh, good God, I've fallen down.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "We can't find Chandler... His vest.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "For a minute, I was like, 'Oh, my God. The worst has happened.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Damn it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Don't hang up on me. I'll marry you and me right now. I have the power.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "They're my friends, Monica Stephanopolis. And Chandler Acidophilus.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "You can't ask us, son. That's cheating.", "c": ["Charles (Chandler's dad)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "When we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress. That was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then. Honey, it isn't good luck.", "c": ["Nora", "Charles"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Why would you play hide-and-seek with someone you know is a flight risk?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "You wouldn't happen to have a very big fork?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Is that my ass?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Hi-yah!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "What, you'll 'hi-yah'?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Cigarettes? Big picture, please.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "You obviously didn't see Chuckie III.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce.", "c": ["Jack Bing"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Not that old crone. My mother.", "c": ["Monica's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Not now.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "As are you.", "c": ["Priest"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "You may be confused by this now, but you won't be Memorial Day weekend, 2002.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Let's get started before the groom takes off again.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "As I've left my notes in my dressing room, we shall proceed to the vows.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Unless you don't want to.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. Do you take each other?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Oh, crap.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "What baby? Our baby. We have a baby?", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Look at them. And they're gonna have a baby.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "The One With Chandler And Monicas Weddin"}, {"t": "Is that why you had to get married?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Ah, slow swimmers?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Find anything that doesn't say, 'I died tragically in France.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "...it's because I am.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "I didn't say anything because it's your day.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "I can't say because he's famous.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Okay. It's James Brolin.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "What? He never said that to me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "I could only think of two names: him and Ed Begley Jr.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Ed Begley Jr. is not gay.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "I won't put my hand in your pocket.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Not well.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Good news! I don't think anyone's looking.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "That's fair. Is it Tag?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "At least we know it's a him.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "What's more important? My clothes, or being here today?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "I'm not even going to pretend to be listening.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Mona...Klegglachen? The famous botanist.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "But she was once the hottie of the plant world.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "So, what table are you at? Me too.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "This time, really put your ass into it.", "c": ["Unknown dance instructor"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Bravo, Dennis, thanks for pleasing my mother so.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Funny 'ha-ha,' or funny--?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "When you showed it to me, you held it that way...which was misleading.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Okay, fine, I'm a 7!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "All right, I have small feet. But the rest of me is good!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "In this day and age, how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "I don't know, maybe they have tools.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Does she realize she's not gonna have a date for the next 18 years?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "That's how the French drink it.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "And he said he'd leave her for me. So I said, 'Are you sure?'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "How many ways are there?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "This is why you register.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Dr. Geller? I wasn't farting!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Hop on.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "You are a soap actor with freakishly tiny feet.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "I am so gonna score!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "A friend who can speak in many dialects...has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "Maybe I should stand on your feet!", "c": ["Gert"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "It's an all-Chinese cast.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "You could never embarrass me. Okay, you could easily do that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "I'm gonna have you arrested. You stole my moves.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "It's negative.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "No, it's positive.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "That's a risky little game.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "I feel like I'm holding down the fort all alone.", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "How small are your feet?", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The One After \"I Do\""}, {"t": "We did not take a bag of Mashuga Nuts from the minibar. And we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Joey's immediate 'No' when asked if he was in their room", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "I'll never be a bride again. Now I'm just someone's wife.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Rapid-fire exchange deflating all of Monica's hopeful suggestions", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "I knew I married you for a reason!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "So Ross had never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "One time, when we were dating, we got a late checkout. He got so excited, it was the best sex we ever had. Until he screamed out 'Radisson' at the end.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "32, Joe. You're 32!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I can't believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's sad. Mashuga Nut?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Thread. Score!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Then you said, 'Why is it called a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Then you did that, and my Uncle Murray looked at me like:", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "They're calling out to me. This little guy even crawled up in my lap.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "A little mirror that, when you look into it.. you see yourself as an old woman.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "A tiny salt shaker! Oh, my God, for tiny salt!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Although, you know, this is part of a salt-and-pepper set. It may just count as only half a present.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Or this one!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "He hasn't asked me how I'm feeling or offered to carry my bags. I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "After you, of course.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Then you have his baby. Believe me, I'm trying.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "You're like Ed McMahon, except without the big check. Or the raw sexual magnetism.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "He's just walking down the street thinking, 'I had sex with Rachel Greene. I rock!' Then, bam! He's a father, everything's different.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "What was that 'bam'? I don't know. He's hit by a bus, or something.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Who called here? Did she sound blond? Did she have an accent? I gotta make a call.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Should have never walked into that Sunglass Hut!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Yes, I am. Oh, my God, I'm gonna have a baby!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Who's David Linn? Some guy from my gym. Little annoying.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "That's why I'm under the table, celebrating.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "All my energy is going into not asking that question.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Are you suggesting we dance our troubles away?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Marriage advice? Really?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "I was in charge of the cameras.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Thank God. Because that hair on a baby?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "I was walking down the street, thinking, 'I'm gonna tell the father.' And then, bam! Bus?", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Oh, mother of..!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Joey, I am out of control! You have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do.. please, do not let me open another present.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Give me one more.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Hey, lady, your day's over. It's my turn.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "She's not pregnant. Rachel's the one who's pregnant.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "He'd notice when you didn't have a baby in nine months!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Was that story over?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "The guy left this. Oh, my God! I know who the father is.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "People have got to finish their stories.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Nice aftershave. If you want some, I've got eight mini bottles in my bag.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Your finger was covering the lens. Who are you, Ansel Adams? Get out of here!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "I may play the fool at times.. but I'm more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that won't quit.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Let's rip. Are you sure? Phoebe! Okay. Sorry.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "A '95 LeSabre? Yes. A green LeSabre? Yes! I'm sorry, I meant a blue LeSabre. Yes, green-blue.", "c": ["Hotel clerk", "Tag"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "No, this is my red sweater.", "c": ["Tag"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Could I get anyone a coffee? Or poison? No? Just for me? Okay.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "But you do wear that sweater a lot. Are you involved in some kind of dare?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "I'm having a baby.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "You can go.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "I think it does something to salami.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Wow, you didn't even try to unhook my bra.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Rachel Greene, will you marry me?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "What? I proposed to you. It balances out.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Listen, about that, I only offered.. Ooh, a Salami Buddy!", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Didn't see that coming.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Call it even?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "No, the hotel lobby. They think they can charge me for some dirty movie.. and a bag of Mashuga Nuts, they got another thing coming!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Hey, my sweater! I've been looking for this for, like, a month.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Oh, my God!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "So whose is it? I don't know, some Italian guy.", "c": ["Tag", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "Come on, read your own label. See you later. He is so weird.", "c": ["Tag", "Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The One With The Red Sweater"}, {"t": "No, I already packed. The only thing I couldn't find, though, was your Speedo.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Speedo? I don't have a Speedo. I'm gonna go pack my regular, long bathing suit.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "And I'm gonna be an uncle! Come here. -You're all gonna be aunts and uncles. -Yeah, but I'm the only one related by blood.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Why am I talking like this?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "What?! I am an excellent secret-keeper. I have kept all our secrets.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-What secrets? -No, no, Joey. I'm not gonna tell you, because I am an excellent secret-keeper.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-You'll tell me later? -You already know.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Maybe you and I should do something. -All in good time, my love. All in good time.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Maybe they don't trust us. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town. The time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it with Monica's guest towels?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Hey, I washed those. -No, you didn't. Yeah, that didn't sound like me.", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-What stuff? -Monica's chicken parm. I'll take care of it.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Gas leak. Oh, and bring garlic bread.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Damn. They left without my pass to the Nassau Fossil and Natural History Museum. There goes the honeymoon.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Wow, I thought you'd be a little more shocked.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Oh, sorry. And?!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Man, you know what I have to realize? Maybe I'm not the type of guy women can have just one night with. You know, they always seem to want a little bit more.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-They're kissing. Let's just go around them. -Leave them alone. They're in love. I'm in love too. But in an orderly fashion.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "They bumped them up to first class because they're on their honeymoon!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Let's act like we're on our honeymoon. -We are on our honeymoon.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Grab my ass.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "See? If we'd gone around them like I said, she'd have given us those tickets! Damn it!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "25J and K, any chance those aren't together?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Of course I do! And I'm gonna get it back to you.. just as soon as they're done with it at the key-shining place.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-You said there was a gas leak. -Why not use your key? By the time I found it on this thing, the whole place might have exploded.", "c": ["Treeger", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "If that happens at another building I manage, people will ask questions.", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Well, we could have done that.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Oh, my God! Oranges! -Nice to see you again.", "c": ["Monica", "attendant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Yes, of course. Would you move your thumb? I can't see the seat number. That's all right. I have it memorized. It's 1A.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Sir, this isn't a first-class ticket. I'm sorry. -Apology accepted. Excuse us.", "c": ["attendant", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. That's been one heck of a seesaw, hasn't it?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Seriously, what?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "I'm pregnant.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Ross?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "What?! Well, they should put that on the box!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-They do. -No, they don't!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Well, they should put it in huge block letters!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Ross, let's just forget about the condoms. -Well, I may as well have!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "I'm indignant as a consumer!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "In fact, I wanna talk.. to the president of the condom company.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Yeah, I'll press one!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Because, you know, they don't have any kids of their own.. and this door was like a child to them.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "It's looking like an all-day job. I'm gonna have to cancel my yoga class.", "c": ["Treeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Oh, my God! What happened to the door? -So it's noticeable, huh?", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Holy mother of God! -Oh, my God, I can't believe that! -That is brand-new information!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-You already know, don't you? -Little bit.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Hey. Hold on! Are you serious? So, like, 3 percent of the time, they don't even work? They should put that on the box!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Evidently, they do. -What?!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Well, I'll be.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "No! You have been screwing us all day!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Who are you? -We're you. Just 10 seconds later!", "c": ["Monica", "other couple"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "You're not the only ones on your honeymoon!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "We don't care about where we stay. We're here to celebrate our love for each other. We don't have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.", "c": ["other couple"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "We need the stuff.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-What? Are you serious? Joey smells gas. -What else is new?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Hi. He's doing it, he's breaking down the door.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Okay, Rachel, are you comfortable? -If I said I was, would you judge me?", "c": ["nurse", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Oh, man, I swear, if they sold these at Pottery Barn..", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Please, I really.. I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today. -That's fine. Can you stay up near my head?", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-What? Oh, yeah, sorry. -Okay, head, Ross! Head, Ross!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Although, we can worry about that after we get married. -Married? -Well, yeah, I think we should get married.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Because that's your answer to everything?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Excuse me? -You can't even eat alone in a restaurant.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-I can too eat by myself! -When have you ever? When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Well, certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Oh, please. You inhale your food. I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Am I interrupting?", "c": ["Dr. Long"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "But not the husband, because, evidently, she can do this alone.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Why you can't admit you need me? -I need you to stay near my head!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Pretty amazing, huh? I don't see it!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "But you just said that you did. I know. I lied. I didn't want her to think I was a terrible mother.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "I can't even see my own baby!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Do you really? -No, I don't see it!", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "You see this tiny thing that looks like a peanut? Yeah. Sweetie, that's it. That's it? Well, I saw that.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "I was trying to figure out how bad I want one of Monica's turkey pot pies.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "-Hey, show them the picture of your uterus. I don't see the baby. Where is it?", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Oh, no, I know. I couldn't see it either at first. But it's right.. Ross, I lost it again.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "My way totally works. I feel totally relaxed and calm. Go, go, go!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "- Mrs. Bing. - It is a funny name.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "See, if we've gotten here earlier, those seats might not have been available. Compromise works. My name is \"Mrs. Bing\". Haven't I compromised enough?", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "My anklet. That was a close one.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "Don't worry about me, I take my bombs very seriously.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "This is ridiculous. I was just making a joke. I know the sign says, \"No jokes about bombs\", but shouldn't the sign really say, \"No Bombs\"? Isn't that the guy we really have to worry about here? The guy with the bombs? Not the guy who jokes about his bombs? Not that I have bombs, but if I did, I probably wouldn't joke about them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "- He's my husband. - I see. Oh, but only for a few days. I don't know what he does outside of the house.", "c": ["Monica", "security"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "You see, this is the first time we're traveling my way, so it's very important we make this flight. It's her plan versus my plan. What do you mean by \"plan\"?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "It took me forever to do this. There's like over 50 folded pieces. You're mean.", "c": ["Monica", "security"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "About those speedos, I don't know how they got in there.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The One Where Rachel Tells..."}, {"t": "That was the best part? Good honeymooning, tiger.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "A couple? Like two people? Like one, two people?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Ugh, Greg and Jenny. Ugh! 'Hi, Greg. I'm Chandler. This is Monica.' 'Hi, Monica. This is Jenny.' 'Hi, Jenny. Hi, Greg.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Why don't you give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "We didn't get anything for anyone. - Mm-hm, yeah. Nice necklace. - That you can have.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Ross, it's got your wavy, black lines.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "When did it happen? How many times did it happen? - Monica, that's not right. - What? - Start with where.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "I guess he'd been hanging out with Joey. - You're welcome, buddy.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "That you came on to me? - There's the one!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "It doesn't matter who came on to who. - 'Whom.' - That's right.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Okay, anyone think that I'd actually send Ross begging signals? Please, show of hands.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "I can show you! I have it on videotape.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "It's an expression.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Yeah. You gotta tell a girl before you tape her.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Such a rookie mistake.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Hello? 8th Street Deli? Hey, hang up. You get food poisoning just talking to that place.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Hello? It's the deli again! - All right, I'll have a sandwich.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "You got fake-numbered.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "You asked those insightful, great questions. And you've never been funnier. I mean, joke, joke, joke! You were a hoot!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Excuse me, I don't want Greg and Jenny's rejects.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Okay, listen, I am not a pervert. - That's, like, the pervert motto. - Yeah, they have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants and repeat that.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "How about, uh, you showering with your mom?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Five, to be... lying. Six.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "The sky's blue, Ross. And I had sex yesterday.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Heh, you were backpacking across Europe? - Have a nice six more months, Ross.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "It's from France. - In Europe. - Western Europe.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "I think it's 'Tibidabo.' - Okay, do you want to tell the story?", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Great. I'm across the street having sex right now.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "No, Ross, I'm not hot. Are you hot? - It's been six months. I'm always hot.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "That means a lot to me, man.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "That's less embarrassing. Yes. Yes, I was.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "What a great idea! That'll get Rachel to forgive me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "[MOUTHS] You'll show it to me. - No. - You're right.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Hi. Ken Adams. Nice to meet you. - Regina Phalange.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke, joke, joke! - Joke, joke... [BABBLES]", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "The sheer volume. It was like flying with the Riddler.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Really? How would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? - Oh, forget it.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Oh, there he is, the father of my child, the porn king of the West Village.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "[ALL SHOUTING] - What? [ALL SHOUTING] - You don't want to see this, do you? - Hell, yeah!", "c": ["Everyone", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Clearly you don't want people to see this tape. I don't want people to see this tape either. But you so badly don't want people to see it that it makes me want to see it. See?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Fine. But I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road. Because in about five minutes, I'm gonna be saying: [LAUGHING] 'I TOLD YOU SO!'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Oh, there I am. - You're gonna get pregnant.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Sweetie, it's okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. - I'm fine. - Kind of hurting my hand though.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Whoa, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! - Did you do it on our invitations?", "c": ["Rachel on tape", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Not on the ones we sent out. - So just the ones you gave back to us and we had framed?", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Ross, did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?", "c": ["Rachel on tape"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "You used the Europe story! That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy. - Some guy!", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "No, no, she told me that his name was Ken Adams. - Ken Adams!", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "You think it looked amazing? - I, uh... I don't know. I honestly didn't watch it. - Yeah, me neither. - Yet.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Six months, Rachel. Six months.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Ew. - Ew. - Oh, that's not pretty. - Oh. - Oh, God. - Oh. - Oh, no. Oh, no! No! - Make it stop. Make it stop.", "c": ["Everyone"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Their old number! Jenny's been giving it out since they moved! - Jenny! That is so Jenny!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions. And if you and your precious Jenny can't see that, then... January 15? - We'll see you then! Okay!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Videotape"}, {"t": "Phoebe: 'Ah! I \"sous-stand.\" Heh.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Phoebe: 'Would you say your pesto is the best-o? Heh.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Tim: 'I don't know. I would say it's pretty good-o.'", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Monica: 'All right, let's just cut to the chase. Okay? You're single, you're single.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Monica: 'I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler's boss: 'Do you know how can I get around the computer network... so I can access the really good Internet porn?'", "c": ["Chandler's boss"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'What's funny about that?'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Joey: 'You like the Purple Rain display.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'Yeah, he thinks that's my name.' explaining why Bob called him Toby", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'And I wanted the doughnut. Five years later, the doughnut's gone and I'm still Toby.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'It's not like he's calling me Muriel.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Joey: 'It's not just an M. Your middle name is Muriel!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Joey: 'Your parents never even gave you a chance, did they?'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Soap opera doctor: 'We would, but when we went to exhume Jessica's body... it was gone.'", "c": ["Soap opera doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Joey: 'You don't know, do you?' Kash: 'No. Couldn't care less.'", "c": ["Joey", "Kash"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Extra: 'What? You weren't in it.' after saying 'good scene'", "c": ["Extra"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Rachel claiming not to be a soap opera nut while immediately knowing personal details about Kash", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Rachel: 'Look at that, I'm just stroking your arm.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Phoebe: 'I can't wait to get \"sous-neath\" him.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Monica: 'Last night he lit my pastry chef on fire.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Monica: 'Well, now she has no eyebrows. Mission accomplished.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Monica: 'I paid to have this done.' about her singed hair", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Joey: 'He said he thought you were charming.' Rachel: 'Ha!' Joey: 'I thought I was an idiot.' Rachel: 'I'm with you.'", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Rachel: 'First of all, Kash Ford? Not people.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'If I see him, I'll ask.' to Bob asking about Toby", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'But this is 11. It's almost twice as hard up here.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'What you should do, toss them in the shredder... and claim you never got them.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'What does a guy have to do to be taken seriously around here?'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chef on phone: 'Ha, ha! Gotcha!' when Monica calls about Tim's recommendation", "c": ["Chef (off-screen)"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Tim's overly concerned questions about Phoebe getting home and out of shower safely", "c": ["Phoebe describing Tim"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Phoebe: 'Ugh, be a man!' about Tim's behavior", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Monica: 'Then we'll both do it today and he'll just have to deal with it.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Monica and Phoebe's exchange about who goes first, ending with 'Blond bitch!'", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Phoebe: 'Agh, but... screw you! I'm going first!'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Bob: 'Apparently somebody thinks I'm not \"11th-floor material.\"'", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Rachel's three date excuse options including 'I got so hammered last night I'm still a little drunk'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Rachel: 'But I'll go see a normal-person movie with you.' about Ross's Ukrainian film suggestion", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Ross: 'It's the opposite of weird. It's, uh... It's regular. It's, uh... It's mundane. It's actually a little dull.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Ross: 'It's no Ukrainian film, I'll tell you.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Ross: 'Whoever she dates, my baby dates.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Ross: 'Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?' about ferries", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler's response about ferries going 'like, five miles an hour' and Ross's airplane/matches alternatives", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Ross: 'Bit of a daredevil, are we?' to Kash about the ferry", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Joey and friends: 'And yes, it is too slutty!' shouted after Rachel leaves", "c": ["Joey", "Others"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Tim: 'That's because I'm with you.' response to being called a great guy", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Tim: 'And I will be holding you right here.' (pointing to heart)", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'All right, car magazines, cereal boxes... but it's, like, enough!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Ross: 'Every time I drop him off at Carol and Susan's... it breaks my heart a little.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Ross: 'Maybe fight over the science section.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Ross: 'Now she doesn't really have a face. Smoking body, though.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Chandler: 'No, I said fun.' after Ross suggests Ukrainian film", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Bob: 'It's Bob, actually.' when Chandler calls him Bobby", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Bob: 'Toby, I'm not gonna let you cover for him.'", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Monica and Phoebe: 'I'm breaking up with you!' 'You're fired!' delivered simultaneously", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Monica and Phoebe: 'Ooh, good. The chemistry thing for us too.' about lack of chemistry", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Phoebe: 'And Tim, I just want to say good luck here.' knowing he's about to be fired", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Rachel: 'Well, I'm alone and I just bought $15 worth of candy bars. What do you think?'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Kash: 'I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch.'", "c": ["Rachel quoting Kash"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Ross: 'Guess whose middle name is Muriel?' and Rachel's gasping reaction", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Rachel: 'There are 20 in here.' about candy bars", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "Bob: 'Come on, Toby. Give me a hand!' while vandalizing Chandler's office", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Rachels Date"}, {"t": "I can't make it.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Tell me you're not gonna dress like a dinosaur. Not two years in a row.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Halloween is stupid. Dressing up, pretending to be someone you're not. / You're an actor.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Or Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No! Slutty Leatherface.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Please don't take her from me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "I thought there was a mirror there.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "His.", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "No. But thanks.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "I am a woman who spent money on a dress she wants to wear because soon she won't fit into it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "I'm Catwoman, who wants the dress when you're too big for it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Did you see the cover of Vogue..? / Could I just have the candy?", "c": ["Rachel", "Kid"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "No bunny at all. Always no bunny at all!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Yes, I did. I'm Chandler.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "When have I ever done that? / When have I ever done that?", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "I have to say, that earns 'two-two' pieces of candy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "No wonder you're pregnant.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Spud-nik!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "All right! Ross came as doodie.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "You're the sister. I just slapped my future sister-in-law's ass.", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Is your mother here? I could slap her on the butt.", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "My mother killed herself. / See, and I knew that.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Eric"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "It's much better than first grade, and definitely better than third. With all the politics and the mind games.", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Between you and Phoebe? I'd give Phoebe the edge.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Phoebe lived on the street, okay? Plus, she's got a crazy temper.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "I would say, 'Woman, please.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Normally, I don't like sweaty guys. But I could just mop him up.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "No, I'm not, you are!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm just gonna write this out to 'cash.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Joey's gonna be thrilled. He was hoping you'd be a slutty nurse.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "You'd think that would embarrass me, but I'm maxed out.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Marry her.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left.", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "You're the funniest man here in a bunny costume his wife made him wear.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "She's right. I am stronger. / Really? You think you're stronger? Why don't you prove it?", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "You're going downtown!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Seriously, guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "You are gonna make some man the luckiest guy in the world.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "And here it comes again. Shut up!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Besides, if I cheat on him, I can call it an affair.", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Chandler's making his sex face.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "At least you have a wife. I get divorces and knock people up.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Come on, who we kidding? I'm doodie.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "There's no such thing as a 'Top Secret School for the Children of Spies.'", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Hurry up! I gotta pray!", "c": ["Ursula"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "I also had to go to a few houses as his girlfriend.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas. And their birthdays. They get crazy during the summer too. And any time they're hungry or sleepy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "Kids are tough. Good luck with that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "I'm gonna kill myself!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Halloween Party"}, {"t": "And nagging works!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Was I cleaning in my sleep again?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "I hope by 'maid' you mean 'mistress' because if some other woman was cleaning..", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "'Relinquish' is just a fancy word for 'lose.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Yes, I distinctly remember because I thought it was a joke.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Usually when I'm this anxious, I clean.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "I never get calls!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Wow. What an incredible violation and wonderful surprise!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "I was wondering if you were the sort of person who eats lunch?", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "No, no. Wait! I was just saying that so you'd think I was a good person.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Fight for me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Not great, but we can work on it at lunch.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Great. How do you know where I live? I've got friends too.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Eric"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "I don't want my child's first words to be, 'How you doing?'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "That's not really porn? Not so much.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Was she old? Does she have a view?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Reaction beat - Ross and Rachel's awkward pause", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "And I'm Rachel, an admirer of the building.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Oh, thank God!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Awkward silence after Dutch question", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Could you tell me, is she hanging in in a one-bedroom or a two?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "You know what? We just met.", "c": ["Brenda"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "She stole my jeans!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Don't you see? It's the perfect crime!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Isn't it possible the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Shouldn't we give her the benefit of the doubt before we snoop around her crotch?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Face. Yeah. Yeah.", "c": ["Eric", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "You're blurry, but you still look like Ursula. You're 'Blursula.'", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "See? It works. I'm not angry at all anymore. This is a great date!", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Yeah, not so much.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Really? No.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Really? No.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "You're not gonna be on TV!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Hey, Gunther, you're an ezel.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Damn it!", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Oh. You're not getting it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Why was your head just between my legs?", "c": ["Brenda"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Well, my head was between your legs.. because I find you very attractive.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "No room? It's a baby. It's, like, this big.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "'Where's the baby?' 'Oh, it's right over..'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "I could use a challenge. It's getting pretty easy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Or maybe we'll do it in the bathroom of the club!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "You're the hottest roommate I ever had.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "No, I've gotten in trouble for that before.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Really? That's the thing I'm worst at! You'll see.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Because I put my head between her legs.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "No. I was getting into position, and then everything went dark.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "She's wearing my bra!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Yet you don't recognize that you're crazy?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "I fear a jury will see it the same way.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "You see that? Do you see this?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "You need new clothes.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Well, I brought her some bloemen.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "If I didn't have sex with you, I had sex with somebody that looked like..", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "It's like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love..", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Yeah, so do you.", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "It's flown into your blouse, and you better undo your buttons lest it sting you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian..", "c": ["Brenda"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Could I just see your bra?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "I figured it'd be okay because you've got a big ink stain on the crotch.", "c": ["Brenda"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "You mean the one you're wearing?", "c": ["Brenda"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "I quit! Sounds about right.", "c": ["Brenda", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "till the baby comes, we can use as walkie-talkies.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "If I'm bringing home a woman who can't stand a baby.. then maybe I don't wanna be with that woman.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Or maybe we'll do it in the bathroom of the club!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "It's got a tail! Get it out of here!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "And because I'm such a strong, strapping alleenstaande..", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "What..? You.. But.. Bu..", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Stain"}, {"t": "Sure, yeah, he's kind of sexy. Oh, no, I'll be there too. Okay, so we'll just come up with a signal. If it's going well, you can take off.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "He said if he ever saw me doing that again, he would make me eat the entire pack.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Gosh, I'm not gonna let that man make you eat your baby.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Her what?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "She untied his G-string with her teeth. Somebody stop me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Well, you could have untied it with your hands.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "You went home with the waitress. Ha. Yeah, that was a good night.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Ugh. I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't eat meat. It's chicken. Yeah, I don't eat that either. I'll never understand you lesbians.", "c": ["Dr. Green", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Seventy-four? I ordered the '75. That's a magnificent wine. The '74 is sewage. Why would you bring me sewage? Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter?", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "He's right, though. The '74 is absolute piss.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Why? So he can get mad at the baby? Hey, that is the baby's problem.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "I got TiVo. What's TiVo? It's slang for 'pregnant.'", "c": ["Rachel", "Dr. Green", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Well, uh, yes and no. Except, not no. So to sum it up, yeah.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Please don't tell me it's her.", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "You're gonna be a poppy. That's true. I'm a poppy. I'm gonna be a poppy.", "c": ["Rachel", "Dr. Green"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is gonna be a bastard.", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "February 2nd.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and take it all in.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Yeah, a lot of my students do that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "My God, you must be good in bed.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "I'm gonna take that book and I'm gonna beat you to death with it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Sure. One year is paper, but two months is lap dance.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "I understand. Who would cancel an actual date just to go to a fake bachelor party?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding...but I'm really busy that day. I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "I didn't want him to start yelling at me like I was some '74 Latour. It's Lafite. The '74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Yes. He says I'm damaged goods.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "...until you finally have the sweet release of death.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "So she's a... Yep, that's one naked hooker.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I am so sorry. Ah, forget it. It's from Pier 1.", "c": ["Mona", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "You know, this is actually not a great time for me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Yes, yes, I did, but it was just a one-night thing. It meant nothing. Oh? Really? That's what my daughter means to you, nothing?", "c": ["Ross", "Dr. Green"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Could be. I mean, technically, she did strip. We just missed it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "That is funny. Maybe for my birthday she'll murder someone.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Yeah, go ahead. We're gonna have to burn that room down anyway.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Hey, Ross, it's Joey. There's a hooker over here. We thought maybe you'd know something about it. No. No. No. No. No.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Is that what they call strippers sometimes? When they're hookers.", "c": ["Monica", "Stu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Either that, or she's just the best, most expensive date I ever had.", "c": ["Stu"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Is there anything you're really bad at, you know, sexually?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "All right, rock, paper, scissors for who has to tell the whore to leave. What? I miss this.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. Well, now it's like things are different.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys.", "c": ["Hooker"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "She's a hooker! She's a hooker! She's a...!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "'We were on a break.' 'No we weren't.' What happened to you two?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "I get it. But, Mona, what relationship is not complicated? We all have our baggage. You must too. Why else would you still be single?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "I'm so gonna leave right now.", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "...but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachel's father.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "He's a good kisser, isn't he? I'm going.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mona"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Her ass-print is still on your grandmother's quilt. Do you really want to talk about smoking?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Ooh. These tennis shoes are so tight. I think I'll take them off. Could you not narrate?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Stupid guy on my phone.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Stripper"}, {"t": "Hey, Rach, listen. Did you know that during pregnancy...your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "You fall for it every time.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "And then after the baby's born, they're great for shoplifting melons.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "I mean, I was his thin friend.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Are you sure you're not talking about your imaginary boyfriend? No, that was Jared.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "[Monica clears throat after praising Will's looks]", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "I still love Chandler. - Wouldn't hurt you to say it once in a while.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "No, they're not. They're ugly and stupid and delicious.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Or Friday with no two pizzas.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani. This is what we do.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "We may not be great thinkers or world leaders. We don't read a lot or run very fast, but damn it, we can eat.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Rachel's. But good to know where you're at.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "We're not at a barn dance.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "I don't believe you. That is brilliant.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Every once in a while I just yell and scream stuff at the TV.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Anderson just scored again.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "There's no Anderson.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Well, it's only like my favorite bay.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "It's no good. Throw it out.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Plus, I think it'd be better for my ego if we didn't stand right next to each other.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Well done.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "I'm watching the game but I'm not deaf.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "God, I hated her.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Damn you, ref. You burn in hell!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm up my stomach first. Eating chips is like stretching.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "And I'm here to tell you something. You can eat and eat and eat, but nothing will ever fill that void.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Hot stuff?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Would've been good if we had gotten in, but still, real fun.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "God, we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Ross avoiding answering what he does now after Will calls dinosaurs lame", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Oh, I'll be fine. It's just... God, I hate her, Ross. I hate her.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "My two greatest enemies, Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Wow, really got that sexy smoldering thing going on.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "[Will mouths 'I hate you' while Rachel thinks he's flirting]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Well, the Lions technically won. But it was a moral victory for the Green Bay Mermen.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Did we, um...? Did we fool around at Lance Davis' graduation party?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "You are unbelievable.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "It's like me when I was born.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Queen Rachel, does whatever she wants in her little Rachel-land.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Screw it. Bring on the yams.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Me and Ross.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "No need to point. She knows who Ross is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "You went out with her? We had a pact.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Then why did it have the word 'eternity' in it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "A little relieved, I gotta say.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Cofounded.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Uh, except that it was really the 'I Hate Rachel Club.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "...you had both male and female reproductive parts.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "We said your parents flipped a coin...decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Actually, Billy Tratt is gay now, so that one's not really our fault.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "You are my Everest.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Today I'm just a guy who can't finish a turkey...but tomorrow I'm the guy who eats half a Power Bar...wraps up the rest and puts it in the fridge? No.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Sorry about your teeny weenie.", "c": ["Sean McMahon (via yearbook)"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Well, you did start that rumor about Ross...making out with Mrs. Altmann, our 50-year-old librarian.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Yes, it is. I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "She also made out...with Ta-Taka-Ki-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "She probably wasn't familiar with the process...having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Only when it was damp.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I never got to be in a club. I didn't go to high school. But three of us would meet behind a Dumpster to learn French.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "One girl wanted to be like you so much, she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "As a romancer of the elderly.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "So you knocked her up but you're not gonna marry her. Dude.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Joey, those are my maternity pants.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "No, these are my Thanksgiving pants.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Here come the meat sweats.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "Just cut me a little sliver. A little bigger. Little bigger. What, are you afraid you're gonna run out? Cut me a real piece.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Rumor"}, {"t": "New haircut? Necklace? Dress? Boots? Boots!", "c": ["Monica", "Friend"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "They're a little more than I usually spend on boots or rent.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "I'll miss being able to buy food.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "The saleswoman was like: 'These are too pricey for you.' - She had a point.", "c": ["Monica", "Friend"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Return them? They're gonna hear you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "I have you. - Nice try. I'm keeping the boots.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "When he said, 'I can't wait for your first words'... I thought, 'There's a trick.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "I am not sending more clothes to prison. - It is a waste. - Not her.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Really? Oh, my God. I'm successful.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know the SATs? She took them.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Fine, no more dinosaur stuff. Can I talk about fossils?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "What are you reading, 'The Kidnapper's Guide to Manhattan Schools'?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "That's why you have kids.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Wear them with shorts on the corner and earn money to pay for them.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "The guy who made these... hates feet and wants to see them die.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Give them to me. I haven't felt my feet in years.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "The soles are scuffed up, and the insides are filled with my blood.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "I don't think you did a very thorough job. I dropped him off at Carol's.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Sting's son made fun... of Ben's moms being 'lesbenims.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Playpen? Ben's 7. - Your kid is 7? - He's really small.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Ross can... Ross can... Ross can get me the tickets", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Well, I'll let you two 'fashists' get down to business.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "I don't care about fashion. I'm pregnant. You are too. You gotta help me.", "c": ["Dina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "See? Every cloud has a supple leather lining.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Do you think I work at a boot-pricing company?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "And if he gets upset, that's what the meatball sub is for.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Is that a sandwich?!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Obviously, this is a mistake. You can't be pregnant. You have to have sex to get pregnant.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25, like you did.", "c": ["Dina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "You got pregnant for 'funny'? Dina, if he's funny, laugh!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Now, the boy's name is Sting's son.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside... but they have famous fathers.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "I'm a lesbian. It was difficult coming out to my parents.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "She's such a scatterbrain. But, man, what a hot piece of ass.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Do you think we can get to the subway if we climb through that manhole?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. It's oddly unsettling.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "I know you're in pain right now, but I'm a little turned on.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Do you worry that you'll be walking and your baby will slip out?", "c": ["Dina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to God!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Contraceptives are not always effective. Right? - Yeah. We kind of didn't use any.", "c": ["Rachel", "Dina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Come on, kids, a little help here!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "But all I've heard is that Ben's a 'poo-poo-head.'", "c": ["Trudie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Then, could we reschedule for Friday night, perhaps at 8:00?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Okay, I would be willing to go to the concert... all the while thinking about the children.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Then you're in luck. Ben's not my son.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "The Police? Here? A reunion?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "I can see it from right here. It'll cost you one husband.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Why don't you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on hay?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "I really have high hopes for my band.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "It's just me and my pal Rooster. The band's name is Numbnuts.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "One pregnant woman at a time, please!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "To answer your earlier question, we're straight up gangster rap.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "You're gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Well, let's just say: Ross can", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "Then that's not breaking the law!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Monicas Boots"}, {"t": "And to be completely honest, he's not that good in bed.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "all I wanna do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "And keep in mind, I was carrying triplets. So in medical terms, I was thrice as randy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Last weekend, I went from store to store, sitting on Santas' laps.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Footlocker.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. All he took were pictures of my breasts!", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I'm missing picture time?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "You know, she has a face, Ross.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Congratulations! You just got married!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. That's your wife you're talking about.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Bing! Ho, and the Bingette!", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Heh, sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Well, give it time.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "They keep throwing sexual harassment cases at me...and I keep knocking them out of the park!", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture, doesn't it?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Well, we haven't said that to each other yet...but I guess it's okay to say it to other people.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Let's do the card!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Really? I mean, even with the card?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "You know who I'm talking about? Bowl haircut, hairy fingers?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Yes, you are.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Right. I meant...you know, in your spare time. Do you cook? Ski? Or hang out with your wife or girlfriend?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I love to ski! How amazing is this?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Ew, Dr. Schiff! What kind of question is that?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Would you like me to lie down on the table?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Do you feel it too?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "In the middle of the exam I put my pinkie in his chin dimple.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "You were so hard up, you practically came on to me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Hey, I could've had you if I wanted you. Oh, yeah? Come and get it.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Okay, even this is turning me on.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "No self-respecting man would ask a woman, 'So where is this going?'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Uh, Ross, you asked me that. Hey, you were a closed book, okay? I'm not a mind reader!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Making her a mix tape? Uh, bigger than that. Give her a key to your apartment. Whoa, hello. We were closer with the tape.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "But, oh, I could say, 'I love spending time with you.' No, we hate that. That is a slap in the face.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I think if it was a little colder in here...I could see your nipples through that sweater.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Oh? Why not? It's the semifinals...of her...bocce ball tournament.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Because, uh, we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Well, I can't say I'm altogether surprised. I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "And the way she looked at me, pure lust.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "What would help me through this tough time...is choking someone. Can I choke you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "But to hell with that bitch!", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "So, um...well, I really like you. And I love, um, you know, hanging out with you. And I'm having a lot of fun.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I mean, there's no point in spending time with someone if it's just fun. It's gotta be going somewhere, right?", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "And the answer is...it's going somewhere...fun.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I know what you're thinking. Fun was fine for you 10 years ago. But you're not getting any younger.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "You look like you're getting younger by the second. What's your secret?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Well, to sum up: We're having fun. You look young.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "So, heh, so...here's a key to my apartment.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Great. I live on the street.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Um, he's here to have sex with you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "It's okay. He's a virgin.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "That's all right, sir. And that's just one girl.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "It's a hand. It's a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "If you whip it right, you might hit a seagull in the head.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Apparently, I give them away for no reason at all.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Good luck, buddy.", "c": ["Locksmith"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I made you a mix tape.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I love you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "And I love spending time with you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "From the tequila factory?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "And when I wouldn't give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I can breathe through my mouth.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "It was like It's a Wonderful Life with lap dances.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Ooh, I don't know if we're there yet.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very 'Abercrombie & Fitch.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I don't hang up on your friends.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "How do I put this? Um... Erotically charged.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Is that college talk for 'horny'?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Just with someone I feel comfortable with and who knows what he's doing. For just one great night. I mean, is that really so hard...to find?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Good. I, uh, saw a pretty big pigeon.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I can't do it! I didn't ask you to! You're Rachel! You're Joey! You're my friend! Right back at you.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Plus, it would be wrong, and weird and bad! So bad! I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't ask you to do anything.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "You wanna do it? No! Me neither, I'm just testing you! That's the end of this conversation!", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Get back in there!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Now this is just a loan, okay? I'm gonna want him back. So... I'm gonna go now.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I thought I could do it, and I can't.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The One With Rosss Step Forward"}, {"t": "Did we get paper towels? You mean the thing we went to the store for? Nope.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "What's your first? I don't remember the name. Well, what did it do? You'd put a quarter in, pull some handles and win a candy bar.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "A vending machine? Don't feel bad for me. I won every time!", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Do you think he saw us, or can we still slip out?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "I'm not sure a court-ordered detox program was the break Professor Newman was waiting for. But, hey.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Not that sitting around worrying about giving birth isn't fun.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "I'll take your mind off of childbirth, and C-sections and baby heads stretching out... Okay, I'll go with you.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "I knocked off all your top scores. How sad.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Sorry, I couldn't hear you over all the winning.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "You think it's stupid because you suck. I don't suck. It sucks. You suck.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Why do you want to play this game? It doesn't spit out a Clark Bar.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "No, no. This is a girl fight. I'm hoping it will turn into love-play.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Wow, it's amazing how well I can play with you yapping around my head like a Chihuahua.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Well, half a brownie. Actually, it's just a bag. It's a long walk from the flower shop and I felt faint, so..", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "But I have morning sickness and I have on underwear that goes up to... there.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "So nice place you got here. Foosball. Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy. My kind of woman.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Must be tough to keep your hands off him. I'm pretty sure he's gay. No! No, he's not! Why are you trying to ruin the game?", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Dude, that's not gonna happen.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "I'm Professor Geller. So to sum up.. I'm Professor Geller. Good job today.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "You know what? Bring her both. And I'll have the same.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I couldn't even get through that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "If you add, 'This is embarrassing. I just want to have a normal life.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Wow, that was fantastic! I almost leaned in. Really.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Boy, Rach, you're lucky you're hot.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Nice move! 'Where'd you grow up?' So simple.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Now you're watching me walk away. Yes, I am! So simple!", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Clearly not shower or shave.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "They should change the name to 'Ms. Chandler.' Although, I hope they don't.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "I played for eight hours. It'll loosen up. Check out the scores. Also, look at the initials. They're dirty words.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "They only give you three letters, so after A-S-S, it is a challenge. But clearly you're up to the task.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "If you don't clear this off, you won't get one of those from me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "He's 7, not stupid. Have you talked to him lately?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM chip! Wow. The dirty words and the computer talk. This is just the coolest you've ever been.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Pull my finger. My hand is messed up!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Ross, if you had to, who would you punch? Chandler? Yeah, but I don't know why.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Did you see the wine come out my nose? Joey, I think everybody saw it.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "I normally wait till my date leaves, but I'm ripping into the swan. I'm gonna suck on the cellophane from that brownie.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Like a moth to a flame, I tell you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "I didn't say raspberry before, did I?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Then move into his body, just for a second. And then I make this sound:", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. That would work, yeah.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "[Awkward silence after their intimate demonstration ends]", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "When did people stop understanding 'Get out of my way'?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Who am I, Rockefeller?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Your what? You've seen it, The Geller Yeller.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "I just can't be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Have you ever sat through Citizen Kane? Yeah, it's really boring. But it's, like, a big deal.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You did too? It freaked me out. What was that? I don't know. I'm kind of thinking it was the lobster.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "You don't want to look in my hamper.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Well, you're just a little bitch, aren't you?!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "But if you don't get off soon, I will cut you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "By age 7, kids have already seen orgies. Was it just me?", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "dinosaurs ain't never coming back.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "This is so embarrassing. I just want to have a normal life. Wow, that's an expensive bottle of wine. It is? That's funny, my fans don't normally do that.", "c": ["Joey", "Date"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "And then he turned around and it was Stephen Baldwin!", "c": ["Date"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "No! You son of a.. Phoebe?! Oh, hi, Ben. No, don't look at the machine!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Yes! What is wrong with this dog? Did you get to the part where Cujo throws himself at the car? No, seriously, what's wrong with the dog?", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "I never thought I'd say this, but I hope this dog dies.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Terrified.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "Here.. and.. here. Now, as for the hydrosaurs..", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel"}, {"t": "That stuff about Rachel? You don't feel that now. It was crazy. You're fine. You're better than fine.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "You are, as your friend Tony would say, 'Great!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Hi, sweetie. - Hey, it's your girlfriend, Rachel!", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Honey, it's not the bath I enjoy. It's the wet, naked lady.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "You just sit in there, stewing in your own filth.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "It's 2:00 on Wednesday, I'm watching 'Road Rules.' How stressed am I?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Is this a cold pizza or a leftover-meat loaf talk?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "I feel a lot better. Thanks. - Wait a minute. Just come back.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Yes, when Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "If that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Are you two talking about the same baby?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "If it's a girl, Phoebe. And if it's a boy, Pheebo.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "That's a really pretty name for an industrial solvent.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Our child will be beaten in the schoolyard.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Yeah, by Sandrene.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "I know her! I bought a homemade soap from her at a Dead show!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Why do you hate our child?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "But only if it's a girl.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Are we having an 89-year-old?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Is it me, or is Veto starting to sound really good?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "I don't like baths. Could you draw me a picture of sex on the balcony?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "And got you this little plastic Navy ship! So it's a boy bath.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "This does butch it up a bit.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "I'm gonna need a bigger boat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I can practically hear the mahjong tiles.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "You know if it's a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrene? Phoebe or Pheebo?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "I know it's really not my place... but please don't name your child Pheebo.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Third one from the left? - Yeah. Why is it staring at me?", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Okay. A couple months late on the lecture, Ross.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "The water's tepid, the salt didn't dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used don't compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "They're starting to effervesce.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "He hasn't had this much trouble getting out words since he was in 'Macbeth.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "My God, he wants to do it with Phoebe in London!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Why would I? That two of our friends could start a great love affair? They'd have me to thank. Then we could all start having babies!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "I got a new one a month ago. - Oh, just as well. I broke this one.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mrs. Tribbiani"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "It's a humdinger.", "c": ["Mrs. Tribbiani"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "You know, I mean, on the one hand, 'Mother, may I?'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Unless you know we're never gonna have to use it. You did see. You know it's a boy!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "That's when you'll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Unless you anticipated that I would figure all this out... and you know that it actually is a girl. And you really do want her to be named Ruth.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "But, Ross, you want the name Ruth. - Not like this!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "I mean, it's Rachel, for God's sakes. - For God's sakes, it's Rachel!", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "She made me switch to light mayo. That's it! That's all I got!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "You know what? Tastes the same and my pants fit better.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "I've had them for all you guys. Except for Ross and Chandler.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Not really. - Throw me a bone here.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "That's right. The student has become the master.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Sometimes I can't believe it's with you, but still, we're having a girl!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "It's so hard to care when you're this relaxed.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Now you're just a girl in a tub.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "She's like a conversational wizard! How did it go?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "How would you like it if I told you that Lee Majors liked you... and you found out that he didn't like you?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Really? Lee Majors is hot.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Honey, cover it up with the boat.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Well, hey! What's going on? Oh, cool boat. Oh, no.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Like my friend the bird here would say, 'It was cuckoo!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Hi, sweetie. - I love you.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "I'm not touching you. - You're not? - It's the salts.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Sweet Lord, new realms of pleasure.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "Whatever keeps you off the balcony, big guy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Chandler Takes A Bath"}, {"t": "You caught me at a bad time. - Are you and Chandler...? - Exactly. - Can I play for you? - No.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Phoebe, I can explain. You see... God, I gotta get better at lying.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Well, Alexandra has... - It has a name?", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Well, I thought I'd... Yeah, what the hell.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I hope it's not an inappropriate time to say... you're the best sex I've ever had. That's always appropriate.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I hope you're a better father than you are a friend!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Maybe you should come to me. I'm not wearing any bottoms.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Who's that annoying girl soccer player? - Mia Hamm? - Mia Hamm!", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "One hand on the sheet, Joe.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Who says you can't get a nice punch bowl for under $6?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "How about to the street, from the balcony?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Let's cross that bridge when they drop by unexpectedly... and demand a gigantic bowl of punch.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "That's for canned goods. Have you forgotten everything from orientation?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Don't try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Love you. Hello, Chandler. Lovely day, huh? You.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "If! I said, if it helps.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "That's different. We were roommates. And when?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I'm curious about the human body.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Or how Ross would feel if he couldn't teach us about dragons. - Dinosaurs. - Potato, potahtoe.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Although we would love to see you do that again.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "A dreamless sleep.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I got some stuff going on if you want to feel.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Can I get a copy of that?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "That's right, you just enjoy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah! - Okay. Oh, God, Phoebe! That's it! That's it, right there!", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I'll bet it's Richard. - What? - Well, let me ask you something... when was the last time you saw him?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "You being the 'cake', Richard being the 'too'. - That was off the top of your head? - Yeah.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I saw a movie where there was a door. Nobody knew what was behind it. When they finally got it open, millions of bugs came pouring out... and they feasted on human flesh!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "It wouldn't kill you to respect your wife's privacy!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Stupid closet full of bugs!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Crushing bones! Good thing we're going to a hospital.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Open it. Open it. Watch your feet there's bugs everywhere.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Mild discomfort? I take it you've had one of these Braxton thingies?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I wasn't calm! I've never been more scared in my life. - You said everything was okay. - What do I know? I'm not a doctor.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I got half a mind to contract that doctor's uterus. Mild discomfort! What's he talking about?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "No uterus, no opinion.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "You went to the movies by yourself? - Mona!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Look, I forgot my underwear.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Hey, not as good as this guy. He brought Twizzlers.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Oh, no, wait. I'm not a 9-year-old girl.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Then why do you throw like one?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "So how's the inappropriate crush on Rachel coming? Really good. I should be ready to kill myself any day now.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Well, you sure found that quick.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Except for harboring love for the woman carrying his baby. Well, there is that.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Richard, if you're in there, could you pass me my credit card?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "It freaked me out. After a while, I tried to hurt you. It spurred you on.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "What are you looking at? I mean, hi.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "It's not because she hates Enya.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Well, not clients. Lovers.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "If you stick one hand down your pants you're the spitting image of Joey.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Pickle makes her sick. Giving her pickle is like giving me salad.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Are you breaking up with us?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I'm dating Mona. Damn it, Mona!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Living with the father? It's a bit conventional for us.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Well, I was due.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "You're messy. - No! You weren't supposed to see this! - I married Fred Sanford.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Okay, okay, fine! Now you know. I'm sick.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I don't love you because you're organized. I love you in spite of that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium. It's a couple weeks past its expiration date, so it's got a bit of a kick.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "I'm a lone wolf. A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. What's a wolf gotta do to get a hug around here?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Phoebe? - Yeah, say my name. Say it.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Secret Closet"}, {"t": "Something really boring happened to someone ugly in the Middle Ages.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "That is one lucky to-go cup of coffee.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Is there anything I can do for you? Do you wanna look down my top?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Thanks. Maybe later.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I want a lot of things. I wanna be with the woman I love! I want her to love me back. And I want relief from the wrenching pain of knowing that won't happen!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "We have red bagels.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Okay.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "There was a drumstick in the couch.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "And that's how the plague started. If you wanna relive that again...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Mice didn't start the plague, rats did. 'Rattus norvegicus', to be exact.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Oh, good God, Ross. Nick at Nite, once in a while.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "She even got the baby a T-shirt that says 'Fossils are my friends'.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Come on, Mona. Don't kiss ass.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Candy's the mom, Cookie's the daughter. The father's name is also Cookie.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Why am I friends with these people?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Monica, grow up.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "You don't want my opinion? Not really.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Which one would make your best friend want to do your little sister?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "The red one.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Right outside is a real, live, furry playmate.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I'm not sleeping with your friend Jane again.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Who, you gotta admit, looks a lot like Jane.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I borrow him when I get really depressed about world hunger or poverty. Not to trivialize your pain.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Oh, not that kind of fun.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I'm slipping into something a bit less comfortable and a bit more slutty.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Monica got me porn? Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Worst porn ever! Worst porn ever!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "You're cute, but you're not too smart.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Did I just throw this?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I don't know his real name. I call him Mozzarella.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I hope I stop talking like this before my meeting. Yes, I do. Bye-bye, Joey. Seriously, I can't stop it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "That's Rachel. She used to live here. Might as well be honest with you. We love her. But we can't have her.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Well, you used to be.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "It's yelling, bleeding, dilating. Oh, the dilating!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "If you thought I was gonna get you porn for Valentine's Day... you were right.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "It's about a girl who moves to the city in search of stardom... but ends up having sex with a lot of guys.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Those aren't stars.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Remember the first time you saw 'Jaws'... how long it took to go back in the water?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Otherwise, the horse will go change back into sweatpants.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Interestingly, it isn't made with seawater. It's actually made with salted fresh water.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "That's not interesting.", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I think it's interesting. Me too. I missed you!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Joey cracks me up. 'Have your ex-wife move in. That wouldn't be awkward.'", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Imagine, I go away for a few days... and my boyfriend is living with a woman he got pregnant.", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "My mom was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I'll tell her my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "If I haven't said it before, she's a lucky, lucky lady.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "What the crap is up with this stuff? Is it gum? Is it food? What's the deal?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Last year Greg took me to sushi... then we trashed a nearby research lab and freed 20 monkeys.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I knew it. I knew I wasn't crazy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Last year a monkey did attack me at the bus stop.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "It'd be like you falling in love with a cat.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Oh, me, right.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "He's breathing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "God, what have I done to you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I broke the dog, Pheebs! I broke the dog!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Interestingly, it isn't made with seawater...", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "We actually watched the documentary together.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "And by emotional, I mean crazy!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Yes, she's emotional, but ballsy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "And you thought she was gonna be in our way!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "You got another ex-wife back there?", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "But, Mona, I live here.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Till now, the worst thing I'd seen was my dad doing shots off the houseboy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "After this, I would gladly make that my screen saver.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "We watch him do yoga in his underwear, but for this he closes the drapes.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "It's ironic how footage of someone being born... can make you want to kill yourself.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "But the stork is gonna bring mine.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "But you leave a drumstick under there and you're a bad roommate.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Why is that baby torturing that woman?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Did her ass explode?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I didn't tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment and then had the locks changed. Then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "In a way, I judge her for not breaking up with me sooner.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "You know, actually, once I got dumped during sex.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "She's not a Tribbiani?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I only say that... so Chandler won't feel threatened because I'm his only friend.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Sorry. And I'm your only friend too.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I'm gonna put the bourbon in it at home.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "It's Rachel.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "I wonder which one of these guys becomes the father?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "Nope, can't get pregnant that way.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Birthing Video"}, {"t": "You know who else I like? You. And it doesn't get said enough. I like you, Ross.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I'm an actor, you know? As a group, we tend to be overdramatic.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Rachel?!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "That's the youngest girl to reject me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "You know how you find him? Stop looking. I've stopped looking for Russell Crowe. He'll find me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "A tall guy with hair similar to mine? Oh, unknowable universe!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Luckily, the guy she settled for can't hear you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "He may not be my soul mate, but a girl's gotta eat.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Rachel?!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.62, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "It's like you and me going out, only weirder.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I know you're hurting.. but don't say that again.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Sure, women never like Joey. I think he's a virgin.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "He wants to leave the country.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "He just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Soul mate.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I know! Is this 1985?", "c": ["Don"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I'll have a mocha-ccino.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I believe in handsome strangers who hit on my wife.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I understand if you came by to hit me. I deserve it. / No, I don't want to hit you. / What, then? Kick me? / No. / Bite me?", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "All I got is melon stuff that Rachel left.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "That's the green stuff talking.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I'm understanding, but let's not get carried away.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "That's some pretty smelly work, huh, Don?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "And you're still married to him?", "c": ["Don"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I'm really not high. I just used to be fat.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Is it made of cheese?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "No. A house made of cheese, wouldn't that be incredible? / I'd move in tomorrow!", "c": ["Don", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I don't know how you fight that.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Here, in the hall? What are we, animals?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Don't you people ever knock?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "running_gag"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, did you say 'cheese'?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "No, but I'm sure 'tomahtoes' does.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Do you know how hard it'd be to clean?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "This is a nice place.. and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I wouldn't think Hobbes would like that so much.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Second's up!", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Not that kind of table.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Oh, you're kidding. It's a joke. Funny. It's funny! I don't get it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "You can't do this to a pregnant woman!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "You know, I was only kidding. / Yeah, that was a real good one.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "I kind of hope it's the girl. The guy is really cute!", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"}, {"t": "Maybe he's in the sugar bowl. Joey? Nope.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Well, at least you make each other laugh.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Ew, was Chandler naked?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Sort of like a ring-toss kind of situation?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Dude, I don't know. That's a pretty small hole.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Up until I was 25, I thought the only response to 'I love you' was 'Oh, crap.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "I got shot down at fat camp.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Boy, kids are mean when they're hungry.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "And also, tea tends to give me the trots.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "I'm the head chef. I can't get promoted.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "You mean your pink shirt? / Faded salmon color? / No, I haven't seen your pink shirt.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "I'm sure you can get another one at Ann Taylor's.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Jump up my own ass and die.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Mine is a picture of the Village People. What does that mean?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Tea gives Phoebe the trots.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Some cheese?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Two hundred CDs, not one of them in the right case.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you guys have such problems. I feel so terrible for you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "They were just giving those away at the store. / In exchange for money.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "My boss wants to buy my baby.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Yeah, that would have been a much simpler problem.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Jim-Jim Nelson. I'm Phoebe-Phoebe Buffay.", "c": ["Jim", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "[MOUTHS] It's not pink.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Honey, both yours.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "You think you can just buy my friend's baby?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Do you like to party?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "I write erotic novels... for children.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "They're wildly unpopular.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Yep. A pretty huge...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "You could always sell your baby.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Chandler has two copies of Annie.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Not touching myself, if that makes anyone less uncomfortable.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby.", "c": ["Mr. Zelner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "A new grocery store. / What? / A new grocery store.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "This is like Disneyland for me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, well, I'm sorry about that too. But what are you gonna do?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "So long as I understand that the money should not be construed as a down payment on this or any other child that I may bear.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "My gynecologist tried to kill me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Tea Leaves"}, {"t": "Did he put a little starch in your bloomers?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Who said that?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "And he treats me like a queen. Except at night, when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Hopefully this time Mom won't boo you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "You wonder why Ross is their favorite?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "You know what they're gonna say this year? \"God, you.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Really? You can do that? - Oh, you kidding me? Watch.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Well, I can't do it with you guys watching me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Or as I like to call it: \"Sob-fest 2002.\"", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "You're gonna talk about their dead pet?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "And I got them Kama Sutra for the Elderly.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "And I think my testicles may be in here too.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "You were the 200-pounder who rode her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Chandler, I'm kidding. Already you're my favorite.", "c": ["Parker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Classic Ross.", "c": ["Parker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow, old friend. Bow-wow.", "c": ["Parker"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a tepee.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "We're driving? - Yeah. - Aces.", "c": ["Parker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "You want to hang back and take a cab? - Okay, otherwise I'm not going.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Jack? - Why serve food on such a sharp stick?", "c": ["Judy", "Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "It's a good question, Dad. It's a good question.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "If you're gonna do the ears, you may as well take a pass at the nose area.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Unbelievable. It's great. - I love marriage.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs, both bar and bat.", "c": ["Parker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "I don't think the flash went off.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Somewhere, there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "I have to go too, but I don't want him complimenting my thing.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "He called the Long Island Expressway a concrete miracle.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "That waiter. His shoes. I must take a mental picture. Sorry.", "c": ["Parker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "In my opinion, your collective dating record reads like a who's who of human crap.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "What was wrong with Mona?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "And Stevie Wonder sang \"Isn't She Lovely\" as I walked down the aisle.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "You wouldn't think that Annie Leibovitz would forget to put film in the camera.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "What an inspired solution to man's plate-dispensing problems.", "c": ["Parker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Why don't you just try one? - Nah, they look too weird.", "c": ["Rachel", "Parker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "You know, if you want to, I could just hold them down and you could just:", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Well, not at first, but it was intricate work.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "But there were some people that said I looked like a floating angel.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "And the ring was the size of my fist.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Let's call a spade a spade. This party stinks.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Are you sure it wasn't an oyster?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music? Come on.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "[GUESTS GROAN]", "c": ["Wedding Guests"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "As is our dog, Chi-Chi.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Do me a favor, pass this to my parents. Remember, um, she's dead, okay? Her and Nana, gone.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "You people are made of stone.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Here's to Mom and Dad. Whatever.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Why don't I remember this dog?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "I just wish Nana were alive to hear Ross' toast.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Can I, um, get you something to drink, like a water and Valium?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "They were just brake lights, Parker.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "You are like Santa Claus on Prozac. At Disneyland, getting laid.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Hey. Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Isn't this the most incredible fight you've ever had in your entire life?", "c": ["Parker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "But having a dove place the ring on your finger would've been no problem.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "Yeah, and it was the easiest 400 bucks I ever made.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "[SOBBING] Oh, good God, Ross, how the hell do you do it?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The One In Massapequa"}, {"t": "That's me! I'm blank!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "How cool! We know three down. I'm touching three down.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Yeah, you are, baby. Three down knows I'm married. What's three down doing?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "If only there was something in your head to control what you say.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Is that 'gal pal' spelled L-O-S-E-R?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Just then, or all the time? Because we have jobs, you know?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "No. We're just four people with neck problems, who talk like this.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "And I'll have all the muffins.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "We're not talking. Oh, finally.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "All you want is a dingle / What you envy's a shwang / A thing through which you can tinkle / Or play with, or simply let hang", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Boy, you said it, Mike.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get on this spaceship and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "You know, that's bad for the paper tray.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "I was just being polite.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "What are they doing out here? The coast is way over there!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Isn't this a woman's hat?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Free porn! We have free porn here!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "A mento? You know, a mento. A role model.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Like the candy? As a matter of fact, I do.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "That's the first time I've ever missed a meal. My pants are a little loose.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "I haven't been able to stand up since. But I don't think it's serious.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Why'd I have to start working out again? Damn you, fifteens!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Raspberries, more ladyfingers, beef saut\u00e9ed with peas and onions.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "It tastes like feet.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "I like it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "What's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. Hey, what was in that brown jar?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "This piece doesn't have floor on it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "I'll take those to go. For the kids.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "This might be Joey's baby, who knows?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "I'd like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "It's P as in Phoebe. H as in Heebie. O as in Obie. E as in Ebie. B as in Beebee. And E as in, ''ello there, mate!'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "This isn't just about jewelry. It's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Check it out! We're bracelet buddies! That's what they'll call us!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Well, don't waste it. I mean, it's still food. Jeez!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Get your foot off my contestant! Judge! Judge rules: No violation.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "You can't say that! You don't know!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "That's right, I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "It hurts me. It physically hurts me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "What? Are you referring to my man's bag?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "When we said 'face to face,' we didn't think it all the way through!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Nice. Manly and also kind of a slut.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Now I've upset you? What did I say? Not what you said, it's just the way you said it. Oh, my God! I'm a woman!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Hey. How you doing?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Don't!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "What? Oh, dear God!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't watch soap operas. Excuse me? I have a life, you know?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "You slept with her, didn't you? A little bit.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "That's just a little something for my huge gay fan base.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "Did you just wink at me? You're the one who loves the picture.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Joeys Interview"}, {"t": "What? You mean they're not coming to a social event where there's no men and no booze? That's shocking.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Well, given that we forgot to invite her... it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Well, I don't have a mother. So often I forget other people--", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Oh, give it a rest.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. If you're in charge of invitations, why am I calling her?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I know. My daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.", "c": ["Sandra Green"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "For not inviting me, or for lying about it?", "c": ["Sandra Green"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. My ass is sweating.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Isn't it at 3? - Son of a bitch.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "You'll be perfect for this. That's already your name.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Okay, I guess we can lose to junior-high girls some other time.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Bamboozled? - Isn't that a cool name? - Yeah. - No.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Well, Joey, I'm a headhunter. I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists with rogue Third World nations. Hi, Rasputin.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "It's Bogoda, but close enough.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Higher or lower than what? - This is embarrassing.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I don't believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Why? He's gonna be dressed as a baby.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Try.", "c": ["Sandra Green"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Isn't it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I gotta go powder my ass.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Look at that face. Just like when you were in high school. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a cheerleader in trouble.", "c": ["Sandra Green"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "It's like you're a cave person.", "c": ["Sandra Green"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I actually think I remember some of it: [SPEAKS IN SPANISH]", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I just had the greatest idea. I'm gonna come live with you.", "c": ["Sandra Green"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes. - Yes, yes, I do.", "c": ["Sandra Green", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "No, dude, you gotta hold your breath till you're ready to answer the question. It's part of the game.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "This is ridiculous. He's not gonna hold-- [Ross starts holding his breath]", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Fear of Triscuits. - No. No. Fear of the number 13. - Fear of Triscuits?", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "It's possible. They have really sharp edges.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, Ross. I think we're all losers here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Choose, you jackass.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "This game is kind of fun. - You don't think it's a little crazy that you get all my points--? - I don't think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "She can't hear you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. She's gonna wanna sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "And I'm just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I have new respect for Chandler.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Well, um, I don't have a gift because I wasn't invited until the last minute. But thank you so much, dear, for bringing that to everybody's attention.", "c": ["Sandra Green"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "How about you less important people? Let's open your presents.", "c": ["Sandra Green"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Really? Remember Twinkles? - He was a hamster. I'm not gonna vacuum up my baby.", "c": ["Sandra Green", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Is that a beer bong for a baby?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Well, that's gross. Why don't you just take it outside and throw it in a Dumpster?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "You're gonna do that 10 times a day? - What, it goes 10 times a day?", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "What are we feeding this baby, Indian food?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I don't know, I'd leave it on the changing table? [ALL GASP]", "c": ["Rachel", "Everyone"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Of course, I know that. I mean, of course you never leave a baby alone. Ha, ha. I mean, it would-- She wouldn't be safe. You know, not as safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "It's actually a bassinet. - Okay, Mommy, don't ever leave me.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "[MIMICS MONKEY GIBBERING] - That noise can only mean one thing. - Hungry Monkey.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross & Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "But you forgot to switch legs between questions. So no Hopping Bonus. - Oh! Every time.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Congratulations, Ross. Because, Chandler... you've been Bamboozled. - No! - Yes! - This is the best game ever!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Oh, can I throw up in my Diaper Genie?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I just Bamboozled Chandler. - Which is not a sexual thing.", "c": ["Ross", "Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Well, that was a quick shower. - Not if you were here.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "A Play-Doh Barbershop? - No. She's going to live with us for eight weeks.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Hi, Ross. - Hey, roomie.", "c": ["Sandra Green", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "[IN EMBELLISHED VOICE] It's a pleasure to meet you, Ray.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "What's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance... past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey. You yank his tail, and boom, you're in Paradise Pond.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Well, what's fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game that's just people standing around answering questions?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores. - [IN EMBELLISHED VOICE] Let's play Bamboozled.", "c": ["Producer", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Did I say garage? I meant garbage.", "c": ["Sandra Green"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "With another woman. - Have you no control, Ross?", "c": ["Sandra Green", "Sandra Green"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Hello? I still don't know what the hell I'm doing.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Nothing. You have apologized to her like a million times. And she's been nothing but terrible to you. And don't forget, you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Maybe it's time you took a good, hard look in the mirror, young lady. - Old lady. - Lady.", "c": ["Monica", "Monica", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Wrap it up.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I can't feel my legs.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "[THUDDING] - Okay. I bit my tongue. But I'm still really sorry.", "c": ["Monica", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. You've been Bamboozled. You're gonna be a terrible mother.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I've lost sight of why we're doing this.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "That's no way to sell newspapers. Try, 'Extra! Extra! Read all about it!'", "c": ["Unknown Friend"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I still remember my first good one: 'Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Reaction beat: Monica arrives to see all the newspapers and assumes they mean good news", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.", "c": ["Unknown Friend"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "What about the rest of Manhattan? - Yeah, they all know.", "c": ["Monica", "Unknown Friend"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "You don't think that, um, 'the chef's mahi-mahi was awful-awful' is bad press?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I'm not saying this because I'm your friend, I say it because it's true. Your food is abysmal!", "c": ["Unknown Friend"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Funny you should mention diapers.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I'm just kidding. You can go pee.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Sure, I can hang out till I have to meet you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "And people say you don't pay attention.", "c": ["Unknown Friend"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "You cooked him?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "You really do live in your own little world, don't you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "We were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends, and then there was one drunken night...", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Or, yes, stranger, we'd like this delivered, please.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "That's one of the reasons why we are not a couple.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Oh, don't get too worked up over it. It sounds like he's a doctor, but he's not.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Standing at a cash register, I'm holding a credit card, and I'm bored.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "A paleontologist who works out. You're like Indiana Jones.", "c": ["Katie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I am like Indiana Jones.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Ahem, a whore.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Well, the idea-- A woman flirting with a single man? We must alert the church elders.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I mean, here I am, about to pop... and he's out picking up some shopgirl at Sluts-R-Us?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Is that a real place? Are they hiring?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Hey, Phoebe. Fatty.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "When I first met you, you were like: [BABBLING] I was like: Shh!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "It's just, like, you're trying too hard, always making jokes. You just-- You come off a little needy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Chandler, I'm not gonna lie to you. But I am gonna run away from you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Either eat it or be in it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I'm torn... between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating.", "c": ["Food Critic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Thattgirl! Eh? We should get out of here, there's a new class coming in.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Monica, you go to the head of the class!", "c": ["Cooking Teacher"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Ah, it must have been obvious, since it was the only thing left in your store.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna put this back in my pocket and pretend that didn't happen.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "No, you're a horny bitch! No, you're a horny bitch! No, you're a horny bitch!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "You know, because of Indiana Jones. Not because I'm into S&M.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I'm not into anything weird, you know? Heh. Just normal sex.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "So you had a good day, huh? Big commission, picked up a daddy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Oh, and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic. Although you missed a button.", "c": ["Katie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Hi. Come on in. I'm Regina Phalanges.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Well, you should meet my Uncle Bada.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I'll let myself out.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "When you say 'use,' do you mean 'eat as a pre-cooking snack'?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Cheese makes me thirsty.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I had to ask what it was called when the water makes those bubbles.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I think you'll find if I work here that I don't micromanage. I don't shy away from delegating.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "What I do do...", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Nice sidestep on the 'do do' thing. - Hardest thing I've ever done in my life.", "c": ["Interviewer", "Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of foil.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I know you all hate me, and I'm sorry, but I don't care.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I got an A? In school? Hey, I'm a dork!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "But there'll be 30 people under you... so you can dump a certain amount on them.", "c": ["Interviewer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "And then it was really hard to side step that 'duty' thing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Duties? Doodies? Poo?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee, a little rub-rub-rub under the table?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Of course you did. You'd date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Did you get a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I want you to be at my constant beck and call, 24 hours a day. I'm very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "You're pressing the baby into my bladder... and now I have to pee. Sorry.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Oh, Rach, I was just messing around. Heh.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "The first A I've gotten since 7th grade and I didn't have to sleep with the teacher.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "Yeah, this was a stupid idea.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Cooking Class"}, {"t": "I'm coming soon to a theater near you. I'm in THX. I'm unsuitable for children!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I started that! / I thought I did!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I love taking limos when nobody died.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "That's right. Still no baby.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "You.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Like you haven't done enough.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I wish I were a sea horse. Because with sea horses, it's the male. They carry the babies. And then also, um, I'd be far away in the sea.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "That's a great story. Tell it while you're getting me some iced tea.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Oh, God, get out! Get out, get out, get out!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Do you want me to sit on you? Because I'll do it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I sold four on eBay. You'll be sitting next to HotGuy372.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "What time do you want to pick me up?", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I would still like to be acknowledged. Because I'm pregnant, I'm invisible?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Definitely not invisible.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Well, then somebody's snoozing.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I haven't seen this dress. / Star in a movie.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Phoebe. Phoebe. Phoebe.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Phoebe,Phoebe,Phoebe.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "So you're never actually going to pay me back?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I don't think you're comprehending just how slutty this dress is.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go shave. Ahem. / Yeah, well, I'm gonna go, uh, spit.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "You hold her nose, I'll blow in her mouth and the kid'll just... Out of her.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "One hundred thousand dollars. / How about 50 bucks? / I'll call Zurich and move some money.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Ahem, no one's here.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "A little tall. / What? / Would you crouch down a bit so that I look taller?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Yeah, like 50 bucks.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks my bladder is a squeeze toy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "That's interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Until then, General Grant, why don't you set up camp right there?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "People ask why we're not together. I just don't know what to tell them.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Good God, man. Don't anger it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Uh-uh, pal! Don't call me 'Mommy.' It's bad enough you call your own mother that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I'm actually with her on this one.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "When Carol was pregnant with Ben... were you this irritating?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Well, then, you must have a natural talent for it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Seriously. Breathe louder, Ross. That's great.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "We should ask the doctor if she even knows... how to deliver a baby that's half human, half pure evil!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "You're nice to her. She has the drugs.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "You've got to be kidding me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "There was no kangaroo! They didn't take any of my suggestions!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "But someone thinks that that will open up a can of worms.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Do it!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "It's been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it. Get yours.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "If Ross isn't willing, he's not the only guy you can have sex with. You could borrow Chandler. Chandler is good.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I'm miserable. I may as well make some money out of it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I don't want your... / Ah, ah, ah. We're doing this!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Then there was the second set. The infamous 'booger' headshots.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Which we're still keeping under our hats.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Which, after 20 hours of lessons, still came out Jamaican. / The South will rise again, man.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "How do you clear this thing?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "By the way, you don't want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Speaking of hot, watching you do that... really makes me want to have sex with you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Make love'? What are you, a girl?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Always a great way to get into a man's pants.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Think of me as a ketchup bottle. Sometimes, you have to bang on the end of it to get it to come out.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I love when you talk dirty to me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bend over and get it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "Come on, wuss. Make love to me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "You'd think the jalape\u00f1o would clear up your sinuses, but no!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I think my water just broke. / I am good!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "How did you know that? / You know everything! / Wait. I bet you the baby is over 7 pounds.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "I bet you it has hair! I bet you it's a girl. / We know it's a girl. / I'll give you really good odds.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The One Where Rachel Is Late"}, {"t": "We're off to a great start, aren't we? I knew I'd get here fast, but this has to be a record!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "How the hell did you beat us here? We took a cab. Did you walk?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Okay, is there some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Man, if only you'd gotten here sooner.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "They're saving them for important people! What if I was the president?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "We'd be in a lot of trouble. You don't know where any countries are.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "This is a hospital. / You know what? I don't really care for your tone.", "c": ["Nurse", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Like to see a semi-private room? / Yeah, it couldn't hurt to look.", "c": ["Nurse", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Ross putting on hospital gown backwards, Rachel laughing", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Ross. I'm here to ruin this magical day for you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Let me give you guys some privacy. / Nonsense. We're all in this together.", "c": ["Ross", "Marc"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, smile! / No. / I really don't want any-- / Oh, thank you.", "c": ["Marc", "Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, honey, I think I'm having one too!", "c": ["Julie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze-fest.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "I think we should try to have a baby. / Okay. / What's that now?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, this is fun. You're ready to have a baby? My boy's all grown up!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "I was screwing with you to get your voice high and weird... like mine is now!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "I just want Joey to be the father. / What? Are you crazy? / Right there! That's all I wanted!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Julie's cervix is dilated 7 centimeters. That's about four fingers! Doctor let me feel it.", "c": ["Marc"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Well, you could feel Rachel's, then feel mine to compare. / We won't be doing that.", "c": ["Marc", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "No, Ross, Ross? Ross? My child has no father!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Ma, you're asking me to marry you?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Honestly, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "If you don't, I'll talk more about humping.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Right. And with who again?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "She's like the perfect woman. I know she turned me down... but if she wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "I haven't bummed you guys out like this in a while.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "What happened to the Disgustingtons?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Not before she gave me a nice, juicy shot of little Jamie, crowning away.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Including, um, 'Evil Bitch' and, uh, 'Sick Bastard.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "She's in labor. You like that, you sick son of a bitch?", "c": ["Angry Woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "See? It's because you were looking, you fat pervert.", "c": ["Angry Woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Wanna live to see your baby? / Don't you talk to my husband like that, you stupid bastard!", "c": ["Ross", "Angry Woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, good God! If you want a baby so bad, just go steal it!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "We talk about having babies someday, not now... but I'm starting to think that we can handle it. We're good. We're really good.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "It's not right! We're not ready for a kid! / What? / I'm kidding. This is gonna be fun.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "I'm not comfortable doing this in front of the babies.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "We got time to kill. We're in a building that's full of beds! And it's so clean!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "No. / I'll see you downstairs then. / All right. / Hey, I got one! I got one!", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "I hate to be a ball-buster, but can I just do it?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Let's just say, there was a typographical error with a sex manual.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Car accident. Idiot on a cell not paying attention? / Yeah. Me.", "c": ["Stranger", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Wait! What? No! Elevator! No! You gotta press the button.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "She doesn't need to be. She'll still have the baby before I do.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Mm, mm. / [Long pause] / Oh, that was a big one.", "c": ["New Woman"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "I know who you're talking about. / Yay! Great! What room is he in? / Sorry. That information is restricted.", "c": ["Nurse", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Dr. Drake Ramoray. It's Portuguese. / Damn it! We're losing precious time. You want this man's blood on your hands-- / Hands.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, right! Ha, ha.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "He's not really my type. / Not you. Dr. Ramoray.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Actually, it's more like this. / Oh, stupid metric system.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "I know. I'm a neurologist. Dr. Wells is a woman. / That was a test. Good response.", "c": ["Stranger", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "I'm a doctor, not a mathematician.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Do you sleep with women and never call them again? / No. / Excellent. Excellent.", "c": ["Joey", "Stranger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Are you into any weird stuff, you know, sexually? / No! / Ooh. Wrong answer.", "c": ["Joey", "Stranger"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Enter Pheebs.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "If you bring in one more woman who has her baby before me, I will sue you. Not this hospital. I'm gonna sue you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "My husband is a lawyer. / Uh, Rach? / You get back on that case, honey!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "We're gonna be baby buddies!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Squeeze your legs together, cover the baby's ears.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "I nabbed him at the dermatologist's. Thank God for adult acne!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "You have to speak loudly, he's almost completely deaf. / Oh, there you go. / Of course he is.", "c": ["Janice", "Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, then shut me up. / Just tell me how.", "c": ["Janice", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh!", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}, {"t": "Not bad. You know that feeling, trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "I didn't know you were pregnant. Who's the unwitting human whose essence you've stolen?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "I'd have to say the talking gorilla. 'Cause at least I could explain to him that you're making me eat him.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Oh. Somebody went to college.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Relax. It's not like we're forking.", "c": ["Lydia"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, look at you making up crap for me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Do something! Get me drugs... or you light a fire up in there and just smoke it out!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Beat you, sucker! Oh, baby.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Oh. Okay, Mr. Percocet.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Fake? Excuse me? Hello?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "She was married to a gay ice dancer.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "She gave birth to her brother's triplets.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Her twin sister used to do porn.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "We're trying to dial down the crazy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Me, neither!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Don't say 'Oh, my God!' What?!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "I thought she had two heads.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "I can't do it. Please, you do it for me!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, thanks for coming out of me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller-Greene.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "I mean, one minute she's inside you... and then 47 hours later, here she is.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "She looks so real. You know what I mean.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, I could squeeze your little head. I won't.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "I don't see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Wait, it's not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "That's not her name. I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel like an Isabella.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, great! At least she sounds like a biblical whore.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good, isn't it?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "See, I don't want it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Besides, nothing goes with Bing. So I'm screwed.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Aaron Lipman-Guralnick would like to say hello to his future bride.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Well, then he gets a divorce. It's Ross.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend a weekend with her father... and little Miss New Boobs.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Man, you see the kid on that nose?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "And so it begins.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, what, are you kidding? She's gorgeous! It's all Rachel.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were 15.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "It is like a freak show up here.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Please. He'll be with his real family. The twins and little Miss New Boobs.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (2)"}, {"t": "Hey look! It's my good friend Ross. Hey Ross... Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but I'm really more of a candy guy.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "You're weird today.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Joey, can you give us just a minute? / No. / What? / Oh, I'm sorry. I meant no.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Oh, Aunt Liddy's coming? That means we get five dollars each!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "He pulled a quarter out of my ear!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Oh and I need to talk to you. / About what? / To see if know what these guys are talking about.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "What about Ben? / Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter.", "c": ["Ross", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you can't talk to Rachel. / What?! When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys?", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "That was you?! I thought it was Jack!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "As we all are at some point during the day.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Now let's not get carried away.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Honey, we've been over this. I need to be facing the other way.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Yeah okay, but no foreplay. / Deal!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Dad seriously!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "The puppet master gets tired people.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Although he does play with himself in his sleep. / I can't say that I'm surprised.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "It can't be me, I'm standing right here.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Y'know what? I don't like you without mom.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Dear Lord.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Y'know, I don't really know her.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me?!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "I don't know! Maybe she's crazy!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "I am a doctor!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Y'know Ross doctors are supposed to be smart.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Huh, I might be losing interest in this.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Oh, what beautiful lukewarm sentiment.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Did I?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "it does sound like something I would do.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "He didn't make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "It wasn't fun?!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "It was a simpler time.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Well, get back in there! I'll guard the door!", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "That's how I got my bad hip.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "That's funny, this conversation's how I got the bullet hole in my head.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "You up to the task sailor?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Seriously sir, my brains? All over the wall.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Well, now's a good time. I'm on my way to have my ears cut off.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "It's-it's so inappropriate. No, it's worse than that. It's wrong. It's\u2026 It is bigger than mine!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Days of Our Lives, thank you very much.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Sure. / Sure? / Yeah, I mean whatever.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Joey, you have to tell her what's going on! And what did it look like?!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "I didn't look at it. Stupid baby's head was blocking most of it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there if you want to check that out.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Poor baby, you're so tired.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "I can come back.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Whoa! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa, you saw her breast?! / I'll tell you about it later. Be cool.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Dude, step up! I proposed.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "There's a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Man! That kid is going to town!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The One Where No One Proposes"}, {"t": "l would have said yes to anybody. Like that time when you and l got married.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "l'm not helping.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Well, Chandler's my oldest friend. Joey's my-- No!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "This isn't the right room. Sorry, folks.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "No, they ran out of 'lt's a Girl!' But l can fix this one.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "See? Huh? So sexy.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Am l producing them?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "You know what you should've done? Told yourself that little story.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "A giant, stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment. What are people think--? You guys, l love it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Hey, what do l know? l wanted to get a bigger gorilla.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "She's just so cute. l just want to bite her ear off and use it as a sucking candy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "But l could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Wow, you guys got a hospital? Fancy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Please, take your time. lt's an important decision, not like... say, l don't know, deciding to marry someone. This is about a muffin.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "He got over the 'We were on a break' thing quickly.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "She told me to ring her if she's not up by 1 1. She has a job interview.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Well, l can do whatever l want. l made her.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Well, l would say l told you so, but she's kind of doing that for me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "How long do you think we have to stay?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "You're gonna love Oklahoma.", "c": ["Ms. McKenna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Try this one. 'Go back in time and listen to Phoebe.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "No. Just stopped to throw up a little bit.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "She, Rach. Not it. She.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "All right, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "l can't even believe she slept with you in the first place.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "You mean, like....", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "When people do this: l don't really know what that means.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Not using it right, Joe.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "You ducked! l'm sorry! lt was a reflex!", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "When a fist comes at your face, you duck. Look.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "l told you you shouldn't have let her watch Terms of Endearment.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "l knew l should've married Chandler.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "You know how people say that Tulsa... is the Paris of Oklahoma?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "What? Who says that? People who have never been to Paris?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Are you trying to tell me we're moving to Oklahoma or that you're gay?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "No. But they are going to lease us a Ford Focus.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "She misunderstood. She thought she was moving to Tulsa.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "lrony. Not a fan? All right.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "See me, l love Tulsa. Tulsa is heaven. Tulsa is ltaly.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Why would l when your name is Elaine?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "That's a picture of your daughter, isn't it? Well, she's lovely. l like a girl with a strong jaw.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Why, does it look like l'm having trouble with my misshapen claw?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "You know, like Rossell. Or Rosstrophor.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "May...tember?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Actually, l'm a paleon-- Dinosaurs is fine.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "That's why they call them plans. Hello?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "No? Really? Misery really does love company?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Yeah, l don't think dressing provocatively is going to help me here!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "You must be a fireball in bed!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "l can hear the voices in my head again. l'm kidding.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Rachel? Let's give it six to eight months.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "What?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "lf you think this is bad, you should see him.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Emma: not easy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Okay, what would you do if l did this?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Emma Cries"}, {"t": "Well, I kind of have to, don't I? Because of this stupid thing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "There's nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "But we were gonna go see the Jets!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "You can't go. I mean, you're the glue that holds this group together. - Really? - Not you.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "I call their apartment! - No! No!", "c": ["Joey", "Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Yeah, just to be sure, I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Every time? - Mm-hm.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "I can see you dialing. I don't understand why... Shh, I'm on the phone! Dr. Wiener?", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "A person named 'Wiener.' God, that kills me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "And looks aren't as important as... - Nah, she's gotta be hot.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Poopack? Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Yeah. All right. Well, that rules out Lana Titwyler.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "No. I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "That's fast math. We could use you in Tulsa.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "You said that without gagging. - I know!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Well, excuse me? Oh, yeah? Well, up yours too!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Who the hell was that? - Dr. Wiener.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "You know what? You sound just like his wife.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "What was it? - Hiccups.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Well, not anymore I can't. He fired us!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "You know, come to think of it, it does feel rubella-like.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Wiener! Wiener! Wiener! Wiener! Rachel! Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Ooh. Great. Just the reaction I was hoping for.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "I can't tell you how I know this, but she is not opposed to threesomes.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Damn it! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore?!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Why'd I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said? There's no guys in there!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "How do you know the good ones... from the ones who'll push their penis against your knee?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "I know what she's talking about.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Her, on the other hand, botched Botox.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "That I was going to eat him.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Okay.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "I am Mike. - Attaboy.", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody's asked me that.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "From school. - We met in college. I mean high school.", "c": ["Joey", "Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Mike, attorney at law! Ha, ha. Actually, I just gave up my practice. - What? That's the kind of thing you usually run by me. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Joey", "Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Slim Pickins. It's a barbecue joint.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "They're looking for somebody to shovel mesquite.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Well, So Cheesy also has an opening.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "So Cheesy? Whole Hog?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "It's gonna be tough to keep kosher in Tulsa.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "I'll take it!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "He is alive!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Would you like a lollipop? - Do you even have to ask?", "c": ["Dr. Gettleman", "Adult Patient"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Mike hit my mom with a car.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Please, we're trying to have a conversation.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "We pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. You remember that one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Six. - What are you doing? I said seven!", "c": ["Mike", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "I didn't hit his mother with a car.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose. - Hey.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mary Ellen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "I'll stay if you can tell me my name.", "c": ["Mary Ellen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "But it's just a little outside of Tulsa. - Well, how far outside? - Manhattan?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "I'm gonna miss this hand! - Ha, ha.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "it's really just one day. - Um, well, if we can't make it one day, we got real problems, my friend.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "That's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Ross still sees his pediatrician!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer? - Mm.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your tushy?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "That was not a security blanket. That was a wall hanging. - It didn't spend much time on the wall!", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Apparently, I'm not a funny guy.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Because I was told that I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl, which I did.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "There isn't a piano here. - That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.", "c": ["Mike", "Mary Ellen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "[Mike performs air piano]", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "But right now I'm working on a couple Iron Maiden covers.", "c": ["Mary Ellen"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's how I know.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Come on, Ross Jr. It's time to go in.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Hey, I helped you find Waldo!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa! Whoa, watch the tongue, people. We got a baby over here.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "You know, you're nothing but a big leaver. A big leaver with a stupid suitcase.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Aw, dude, you see right through me!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "It goes old job... new job... and you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Can I talk now? - Okay, bye. - Joey! - He had to board.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The One With The Pediatrician"}, {"t": "Can you believe no one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me? People.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "But am I ready to take my Grade A loins off the meat market?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "I know. You are a bit of a drama queen.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "There isn't! That's what I'm saying. -Oh, my God, you're right!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I want to trade lives with Ross?!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Do you have a compact in your purse? -No. You look great.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Joey, I am not going to objectify women with you. But if her face is as nice as her ass... Mama!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Damn it. I'm gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "You should bring your black see-through teddy with the attached garters. -How do you know I have one of those? -Didn't until just now.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Hot. Not hot. Hot! Excuse me? I said that I think you're hot. And...now I'm embarrassed.", "c": ["Joey", "Hayley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Look, I don't normally ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses. Gesundheit.", "c": ["Joey", "Hayley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Did I--? Did I actually ask you? That's just where you were going. I figured I'd help you out.", "c": ["Joey", "Hayley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "You should see someone about that cold. If it gets much worse, you could die.", "c": ["Hayley"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Would you call this girl: 'Thanks for...a lovely...evening'?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "We are a rare breed.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Do you have any cake?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "I think I've been scared by that painting before.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "No, we didn't do it here...which is weird, because it seems like a perfectly good place. That's why.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Unless... You're not gonna try and get me to join a cult, are you? No, it's just, you know, you have that look. Damn Supercuts!", "c": ["Mike", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "You or the four other Mike Hanigans I bothered.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "vis-a-vis...the following. Phoebe has never had a serious relationship...since...her super-serious relationship...with...Vikram.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Vikram? What? That's a real name.", "c": ["Ross", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? Seven o'clock. Maybe I'll hit the gym. Who am I kidding? Pay-per-view porn.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Yeah, everything's great. I was just...watching some regular television there. What a pleasant surprise.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "he was getting off...to a shark-attack show! -No! -Yes! Chandler watches shark porn!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "You promised to love him no matter what. 'What' means, like, if he gets a disease or kills someone. Not if he gets his jollies to Jaws.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend...that he was an archaeologist, and I was this...naughty cavewoman who he unfroze from a block of ice. Are you talking about my brother?", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "But she should remember sleeping with me. I am very memorable! -How do we know? -We've never slept with you. -And whose fault is that?", "c": ["Joey", "Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "I never have an off night. Okay? Although, sometimes if I'm a little bloated, I don't feel that sexy. But even then, I'm better than most!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "No salt! Bloaty!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "You don't think sharks are sexy, do you? No. Wait a minute. Wait, what was the Little Mermaid?", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend...I swear to Lucifer...a rabid dog would be feasting on your danglers right now!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "He's a kite designer. And he used to date Oprah.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "I'll go on walking tours with widows and lesbians.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "I'm trying to remember the last time I opened a door and you weren't there.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Vikram just called.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Joey? I slept with you! And you obviously remember me! Hey, I still got it!", "c": ["Hayley", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "You gave up that right when you slept with Rachel. RacheI? I thought she just had a baby with Ross. Yeah, well...But Emma's birth certificate might say 'Geller'...but her eyes say 'Mukherjee.'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "That is so wrong. And on top of that, he's a glue sniffer?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "And you don't have to worry about glue-sniffing with me. Although, I do smell the occasional Magic Marker.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Can I think it's cool that you kissed me...and also want to kiss you again? And be a little concerned about the Magic Markers?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "This is Vikram.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Well, well, well. It must be 5:00 in Tulsa...because it's 'sex o'clock' in N.Y.C.!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "This is the only one they had at our video store. Though they did have something called Crocodile Killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Do you want me to get into the tub and...thrash?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. Angry sharks turn you on!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "Yes. Just some good, old-fashioned, American, girl-on-girl action.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "I'm very, very drunk right now.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "You're in your 30s and you have never been in a long-term relationship. Here you go from woman to woman...meaningless experience to meaningless experience. Never even worrying that it doesn't turn into something more serious. You're right. I love my life!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Sharks"}, {"t": "It's just spooky, that's all.", "c": ["Unknown Friend"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "I'd get mad at him, but I think it's too soon to show my true colors.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Which one of us should go to dinner? / Rachel!", "c": ["Ross", "All Friends"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Thanks. I'll put a lot of extra thought into your gift.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "What are you talking about? We're together now. / Mon? Chandler's not here.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken. But yeah, that's true.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the boss's ass?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Would Joey like two pizzas?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "I've always liked you, Ken.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Wow. So glad I changed. I almost wore my threadbare robe that can't contain my breasts.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Unless, I mean, if it helps, I could stay and watch.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't want to anyway. You know, just thought I'd be polite and offer.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Happy humping.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "For example, in Hawaii, cigarettes are called lei-lana-lukus.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "And the breasts of a Greek goddess.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "No, thanks, I'm good.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "All right, the truth is... I soiled myself during some turbulence.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Yes. But I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack-- A carton. Three big fat cartons in two days!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, the first one is, I don't want to. And second one, I'm not going.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "You only hear Monica's side of that. Okay, that little fatso was a terror!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up your heels. Paint the town red!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "You need to learn some new slang.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Yeah, hit the bricks! Tell your story walking!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "I was just going to say that I left my keys.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Holy moley, are we in a pickle now!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "What about me? I only had one lunch today.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah. Their arrival is in the offing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Joseph! One needn't worry. They shan't be long.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, one really does have a stick up one's ass, doesn't one?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Where the little kid walks through Grandpa? It's chilling!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Willpower? I've watched home movies of you eating Ding Dongs without taking the tinfoil off! / You said that was sexy!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Not really sure what to do now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "All right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking! And no cuddling. And no kissing your neck. Oh, good! I hate it when you do that! And lots of kissing your neck!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "I would, but I bruise like a peach.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "What if she jumps out of the bassinet? / Can't hold her head up, but jumped.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "You haven't cooked since 1996.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Listen. What? What? A pigeon. No. No, wait, no. An eagle flew in! Landed on the stove and caught fire! The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, how about this? Another table leaves, right, but there's still some food left on their plates. Okay, what's the restaurant's policy about people eating that? / It's frowned upon. / But it happens.", "c": ["Joey", "Waiter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "If you ask me to stay, I'll pee.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Okay, fine, I'll move. All right. You don't have to manhandle me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "That depends. Will your friend stop drinking olive oil directly from the bottle? / Probably not.", "c": ["Waiter", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Spend more time with the tie! That will make a baby.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "That was a celebration of life!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "And if I do, I promise I will hide it so much better from you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor. And he got so upset he took off all his clothes, tucked his willy between his legs, and cried out, 'Mommy, I'm a girl. Take me with you.'", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Somehow, over time, it got easier to be apart from you.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "You tricked me to get me into bed? / That's right. I got mine.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Now, let's go, baby. It's food time. Bring it, bitch.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "What did I ever do to you? / Nothing, bitch.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "That's a great story. Can I eat it?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "I would never lie to get someone into bed. / You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "And I suppose that Monica will have the manipulative shrew.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "How did I miss that? / I'll give you another minute. / What, where you going? He said she wanted the shrew!", "c": ["Monica", "Waiter", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "You mean the willy story? / They already know it.", "c": ["Rachel", "Judy"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Chandler, control your woman.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, for God's sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Did my little outburst blunt the hideousness that is this evening?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Pheebs, I don't think that's us. / Oh, well, this is-- This is not over! Hello?", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, that's what she says. / Maybe you're not ovulating. Maybe it's a clever ruse to get me into bed. / Yeah, Smokey, that's what it was. I just can't get enough.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "What's the matter with me? Why am I such a girl?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "I'm not the-- I'm not the kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "That's a good idea. Our babysitter just pounded another chardonnay.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Actually, Richard was a Kennedy on his mother's side. / Why did you break up with that guy?", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Dinner for six for one. Well, you boys are about to see something really special.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "The shrew, in particular, was exquisite.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "This is the best birthday ever!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The One With Phoebes Birthday Dinner"}, {"t": "Monica enthusiastically screaming about loving her new job after being told she's screaming", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Monica declaring Jeffrey 'without a doubt the funniest guy I have ever met' in front of Chandler", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Phoebe needing both hands to hold Mike's hand", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "If you were bigger you'd hit me", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Mike offering gum instead of a key, then finding five dollars", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "These little things open doors!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Do you guys do random drug testing? That's cool. But if you do, I'm gonna need three days' notice.", "c": ["Nanny Candidate"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "She was blond?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "And she's a little mannish", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Damn it. All right, I'll call the cab company. We can call them later. Can you just stand there for a moment?", "c": ["Phoebe", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "There's an old Russian expression... Roughly translated, that means: 'This thing that I'm looking at: Wow.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "You should see me when... Actually, no, I look pretty good.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Well, that would've been your window.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Really? Chandler?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Yeah. You know, and given my lifelong search for irony... you can imagine how happy I am!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "I knew I should've had this conversation with Joey.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "What do you know? You're a door. You just like knock-knock jokes. Save it for inside.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Hey, yeah, I'm from the waistband of Wyoming. But when I was 7, we headed over to the crotch.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken could be fricken. Waiter? Waiter, excuse me, I'll have the fricken!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Well, he did this bit... it was Liza Minnelli locked in our freezer eating a raw chicken.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "No, but it sounds fricken funny.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Are you gay?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Skadandy? That was his name for me. I'll see you every day right in...", "c": ["Sandy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "What kind of a job is that for a man? A nanny? I mean, it's like if a woman wanted to be... Yes? King?", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "I used some of my homemade lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream... Plus, it keeps the hands young.", "c": ["Sandy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "You gotta be at least bi.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Without that, you just got 'lame with women'!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Fire trucks!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "But only with me. No, that's not fair. Who cares. Leave him. I don't mean that. Yes, I do. I'm sorry.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Well, just so you know... hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival, either.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "In Minsk, it's two on each cheek... and one on the lips. Well, if that's what they do in Minsk.", "c": ["David", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "I can't hear it again! You know, I can't tell it again! And I'm fine never having heard it.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Do you realize that man has cried in our apartment three times? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "What kind of a guy makes delicate French cookies? They're not even butch, manly cookies with... You know, with chunks!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "I gotta tell you, Ross, it's not like you just came in from branding cattle.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "But it's nice. And nice is good. And good is not bad. Ergo, we should keep kissing.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny? I think that's great! Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes madeleines?", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Really? Guys do that? That's weird. That's like a woman wanting to be... What? What's the end of that sentence?", "c": ["Joey", "Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "A penis model!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Being a good father?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "You got a man who's a nanny? You got a 'manny'?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "You know, I don't mind a male nanny... but I do draw the line at male wet nurse.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "So those were pity laughs? Pity laughs?!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "There once was a man named Chandler whose wife made him die inside.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Hey! I made up that joke and told it to you. Not knowing when to shut up. Yep, that's my thing.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "We just happen to wear the same shade.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Don't point your finger at me! Why? What are you gonna do about it?", "c": ["David", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Really? Sounded like 'Three Blind Mice'. 'Three Blind Mice' goes like this.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Who wants to be Mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus?", "c": ["Sandy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "I want to be Mr. Wigglemunch!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus!", "c": ["Sandy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "So if your ma\u00eetre d' friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes... tell him to e-mail me at www-dot-ha-ha-not-so-much-dot-com!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Here goes. I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Oh, damn you, Geller!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "I play squash!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Playing and learning.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "And when it's summer and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "It's all right. Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.", "c": ["Sandy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "And what's the one kind of boat that can never ever sink? What kind? A friend ship!", "c": ["Sandy", "Emma"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "Wow! You blow my mind! I gotta go. How much do I owe you? Twenty bucks. It's like the cheapest college ever!", "c": ["Joey", "Sandy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The One With The Male Nanny"}, {"t": "And that's why, no matter what Mommy says... we really were on a break. Yes, we were.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Big baby butt.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "I like big butts.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Emma. You're laughing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Well, Daddy and Sir Mix-A-Lot.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "I'm a terrible father.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "It's taped to the back of my toilet tank.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "I didn't say that. It's in a bank guarded by robots.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "helping to plant the emus", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "People eat birds. Bird meat. Do they just fly into your mouth? Or you go in a restaurant and say: 'Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "And you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand... and beat the mustache off his face.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "What did we used to talk about? -No idea.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "They live on the Upper East Side on Park Avenue. Yeah, she can't be herself.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "You can say it nicely.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "You went out with Wallace Pinzer? -He took the SATs for me.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "I knew you didn't get a 1400!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Ross' mom one time actually said... I am like the daughter that she never had.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "She said what? -She's like the daughter she never had.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "You what? And I missed it... because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Only not creepy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "You sang to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex... with women with giant asses?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "You know what, if you think about it... it actually promotes a healthy body image... because even big butts... or 'juicy doubles' are....", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Please don't take her away from me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "So how come Richard's selling the place? Went bankrupt? Medical malpractice? Choked on his own mustache?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "That's enough out of you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "No, we're not together. We're definitely not a couple.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Wow, you seemed pretty insulted by that. What, I'm not good enough for you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "When we know all he does is sit around... crying about losing Monica to a real man.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Yeah, I can see it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Look at these videos. I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "A tape with a girl's name on it. It's probably a sex tape.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Get there faster!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Wow. You look... like my mom.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Well, so? They gotta die someday. Hello!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Holy crap!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "What are you doing? -Trying to get your parents to like me.", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Well, all right. Originally, I'm from upstate... but then my mom killed herself, and my stepdad went to prison. So I moved to the city, where I lived in a burned-out Buick LeSabre for a while.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Which was okay. That was okay. Until I got hepatitis, you know... because this pimp spit in my mouth and....", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "which isn't always steady money, but at least I don't pay taxes.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "So where does everyone summer?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Don't judge me! I'm only human!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "I don't know. Who am I married to? -Some girl. -She hot? -How did she get me to settle down?", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "In my experience, if a girl says yes to being taped... she doesn't say no to much else, I'll tell you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football! I think it may be customary to get a beer.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "So, Theodore, I can see where Mike gets his good looks from.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Yeah, I bet. Look out!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "How could you know? Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach?", "c": ["Theodore"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "But, I mean, you have met humans before, right?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "You know, I think you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "No, don't get me wrong. No, not in like a sissy way. When he gets going... he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "That's...my boy.", "c": ["Bitsy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "You really do like big butts, don't you? You beautiful little weirdo.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Nothing else worked! That girl is all about the ass!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "I realize you hadn't asked to hear it... but no one had spoken in 17 minutes.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "'Pervert Parade'? -'Ode to a Pubic Hair'?", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "No, that's okay. That's okay. I mean, I am a vegetarian... except for veal. Yeah. No. Veal I love.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Any baby animals. Kittens, fish babies. But, you know, especially veal.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Listen to the judgment from the porn star!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "It'd just be another saucy anecdote... for him to share at his men's club over brandy and mustaches.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "I can grow a mustache.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "But I just keep picturing you rolling around with him, with your... cowboy boots in the air.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Ride 'em, cowgirl!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "That bastard taped over me!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Spring for a new blank tape, doctor!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "You can have all the sailor fun you want with that one.", "c": ["Bitsy"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth.", "c": ["Bitsy"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Who are, by the way, the most sinfully boring people I've ever met in my life.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Thirteen bathrooms in this place, I threw up in the coat closet.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The One With Rosss Inappropriate Song"}, {"t": "Or we could save them for a fancy special occasion.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "How about this: You could treat me like I'm an equal... or talk down to me like I'm a child.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Like if the queen of England comes over. Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Like I'd let you talk to the queen.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Man, those horses can crap.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Muskogee? That's like four hours from Tulsa! Y'all look great! That's right, I said 'y'all!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "I forgot! I'm supposed to be there!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "I can't believe I forgot! I usually write stuff like this down on my arm! Stupid long sleeves!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Like I was some kind of idiot. Well, you proved them wrong.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, Emma. This is your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's boobies? A lot of people are thankful for those.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Hide my rings.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "I decorated Dad's office. Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing.", "c": ["Amy", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Is this Emmett? It's Emma. It's a girl?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Not really. But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "That was me. No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade. Still me.", "c": ["Ross", "Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "No, I'm not talking about you. It was your fat friend's brother with that bad Afro. Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you some time, okay? All me!", "c": ["Amy", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "I'll tell you what. For the rest of our lives... I'll be careful until told otherwise.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "After you left the store, I chose different ones. Your taste is a little feminine for me.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Suddenly flowers are feminine?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "How about the whole 'man walking on the moon' thing, you know? You can see the strings, people!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse... and a raccoon ran in and went straight for your muffin. I said: 'Hey, don't eat that! That's Phoebe's!' And he said....", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "He said, 'Joey, you stink at lying.' What am I gonna do?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "She's precious. Do you ever worry that she's gonna get your real nose?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Amy.... Yes, I do. I really do.", "c": ["Rachel", "Amy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Sure. We don't live there, but....", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Seriously? It's just these rooms? I thought you were a doctor.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Yeah. No, Ross has a Ph.D. God, she is unbelievable. I know. I mean, a Ph.D. is just as good as an MD. Sure, Ross, yeah! If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "I swear, it's almost not even worth dating married guys.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "It'll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Ross, she may need one. We're just gonna have to make our peace with that!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Your baby had some sort of explosion of stink. The bonding's going great.", "c": ["Amy", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Yeah, I think so. It's nice to meet you, Emma. Phoebe. That's a funny noise.", "c": ["Amy", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Take Monica's dress. I said I loved it. I hate it. Hey! I'm also a great moron.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "If you guys died!", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Thank you, Amy.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "At first I wouldn't know what to do with her. And then I would rise to the occasion. Then I'd get a makeover and get married. That's a great movie!", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. Emma? Ross wants you.", "c": ["Amy", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Phoebe! Why does she keep making that noise?", "c": ["Ross", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Who? You're in their apartment.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Connected? To what? She's a lump.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "That you two.... That you two.... This guy?", "c": ["Chandler", "Amy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Okay, just to be clear, comedy with the plates will not be well-received.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? No, honey. That's a special plate. See, it's a game. Whoever gets that plate wins. I can't believe I won!", "c": ["Amy", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Monica is Ross' sister. No, Ross' sister was really fat.", "c": ["Rachel", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "That was me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Now, see? This way, you protect the plates... and let's face it, you have fun.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "If you guys die... and the crazy plate lady dies... then do I get the baby?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Who has to die for me to get her?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's lying. He looked down.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "I lie better than that, right?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "There's your movie.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a five-year-old condom.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "You said that to me last week.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "They said everybody's really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "The Statue of Liberty came to life--", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "My sister's raccoon came-- No, nothing with a raccoon!", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "How nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "If I die... you don't get Joey.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "What career? I'm a decorator. You decorate Dad's office and now you're a decorator? Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday, now I'm a koala bear.", "c": ["Rachel", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "You didn't come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done! I did the first time.", "c": ["Amy", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "You know what? You wanna know why I am not giving Emily to you? Emma. Whose side are you on?!", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Well, how hard could it be? You do it.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you know what I cannot believe? That my so-called sister... gets a 30 percent discount from Ralph Lauren, and I still have to pay retail? It's 45. You bitch.", "c": ["Amy", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Your baby isn't even that cute.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Too far, Amy. Too far.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Hey, man, I work out! So do I. I do Pilates. I do yoga. Bring it on!", "c": ["Rachel", "Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes! Forget the bubble wrap! There isn't time!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Frizzy, frizzy, frizzy!", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Shouldn't we stop this? Are you out of your mind? Let's throw some Jell-O on them!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Hey, someone could get hurt. Kick her, Rach! Kick her! Pull her top off, Rach! Pull her top off!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out... but they're important to Monica.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "By the way, that fight was totally arousing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies, you can totally take care of Emma.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Okay. But you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "It's all right. You can mourn.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Thank you. It was so beautiful!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Actually, not pies. It's just pie. I don't care. Oh, my God, I've lost the will to scold.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "You are not gonna regret this.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "I am super confident, totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Well, what do you know? I guess I'll be the one who dies first.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "Thanks for teaching me how to lie. No problem. Next week, stealing.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "You told her you broke all the plates? What?! Something happened with the plates? Yeah, this raccoon came in....", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The One With Rachels Other Sister"}, {"t": "That's a lot of cats, Jo Lynn. Single, are you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Braid each other's hair and ride horseback on the beach?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Maybe Michael Jordan will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "That's not the way to convince you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "I'll think of something.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Last time that happened, that happened.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "That's so cute. Ross and Mike's first date.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "I got beer. I got bottled breast milk. Why don't we start with the beer.", "c": ["Ross", "Mike"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Do you have one here? No. Okay.", "c": ["Mike", "Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "I don't really like to talk about it. That's okay. We'll talk about something else.", "c": ["Mike", "Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "I'm wearing the same thing underneath, so... You see what I mean?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion. Except with you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Because Chandler's gonna be home in a couple of days... so I thought I would just, you know, practice the art of seduction.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Really sexy. Could I be any more turned on?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Because one of them is for you! Cheers! Okay, bye-bye.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "You might wanna keep practicing.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "I told you, you shouldn't have married someone hotter than you!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Not that you ever have to, because I know how to keep my women satisfied.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Eleven minutes. And now 12.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "What's the difference between beer and lager? I don't know.", "c": ["Ross", "Mike"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "We could look it up. Things are about to get wild.", "c": ["Ross", "Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Eye contact? I hope you were using protection.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Let's send them mashed potatoes!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "I have a baby and a Ross.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Not everything has to go as far as eye contact.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Because all good plans start with, 'I'll go down the fire escape.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Hear me out, woman!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Ida Greene? No sense of personal space... kind of smells like chicken, looks like a potato.", "c": ["Guy at bar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "'Spuds' is your grandmother? That's my 'bubbe'!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you're giving your real number!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "You, Bill, Ross and Emma are gonna be so happy together.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Hey, Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before. Yeah. Me too. Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it. Yeah. Me neither.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Your Rachel wasn't whiny enough. Well... Hey! Better.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Ross will pick up the phone, and that's a pretty clear message.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "'Oh, I have to get my number back! Oh, my God! He's gone!' Dead on.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "To the land where time stands still?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "If you do this, Phoebe will do anything you want. Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "But really, how much dirtier can it get? Oh, Mike.", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Well, you're forgetting about the time difference.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "That's right! Your husband's home! So now the sex can stop!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "I climbed down the fire escape, and you can't put that in the closet?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Maybe you should look up 'fascinating'.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "I don't understand what just happened here.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "You think I'm, like... Joey?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "You're gonna put sweats on and clean. It's gonna be so hot!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Game's tomorrow night, Joe.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Lock the door! Lock the door, seriously.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Stout. That's a kind of beer.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The One With Rachels Phone Number"}, {"t": "Wow! That was great! You really wrote that?", "c": ["Unknown friend"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 3.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Why can't those dumb Tulsa people do the work?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Because those dumb people got everything dumped on them by the arrogant jerks in the New York office. I'm caught between two worlds.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "You don't even like your job. So. Who does? I like my job. I love my job. I can't wait to go back to work. I can't get enough dinosaurs.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Phoebe", "Rachel", "Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "And to all a good night!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Screw you, Mr. Bing on the back of my chair", "c": ["Chandler", "Tulsa employees"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "By the way, you can all call me Chandler.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "So I stole their ham.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Well, that's like money in your pocket.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Now it feels like Christmas.", "c": ["Tulsa employee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Which, by the way, none of you have invited me to.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "It was a nice pep talk. Thanks. I'm actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "I can save you time, ladies. I'm right here.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "She's always bested us, that wily minx.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Why would you do that to her? Why? Why?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Dear Losers: Do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "No, but with this new-car smell, you'll think you do.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Well, this-- This is too much.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "They're ribbed, for your pleasure.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "What are you doing here, weird turtle-man?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "There's a sentence I never thought I'd say.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "There are some pissed-off insurance people looking for that ham.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Answer faster. Answer faster.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Answer better. Answer better.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "She did what?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Well, she didn't win.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Second prettiest that year. Of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably--", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but you're getting ham on my only tie.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Am I sexy in Oklahoma?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Seriously? Happily married?", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "If what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Drunk enough that I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "That's a perfect amount.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Well, I have kissed over four women.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Well, I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "We weren't that close anyway.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "And the technical definition is two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just want to spend more time together.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Okay. I have a condom in my wallet that I've had since I was 12.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Forget about the future and stuff. So we only have two kids. We'll pick our favorite, and that one will get to go to college.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "We'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Wendy's a fat-girl name.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa where my husband's having sex on a copier?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "I have not thought this through.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "What? Are you kidding? I can't return this.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "Mine says, 'To Lillian Myers.' I don't have a job.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "You are. Honey, here's 20 bucks. Go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}, {"t": "You're gonna get me good and pregnant.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Well, I just lost my erection.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Hey, this is where your hyper-organized pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "My erection is back!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Thank you. Phoebe, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "That's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Yeah, right, the unemployed piano player who gave his trust fund to charity? I'm splitting the muffin with him.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Really? No, it is awesome.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Because if one more person says, 'What a cute little boy'... I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Yeah, she's gonna be hotter than peasant blouses and A-line skirts. Can I get a blue bow?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Now I'll get to use my shredder!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Cheese. It's milk that you chew.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "A grape. Because who can get a watermelon in your mouth?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "The phone. Bringing you closer to people who have phones.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Marriage. It's not for everybody.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Who the hell are you? Who the hell are you? I'm the hell person whose office this is. Good one, Rach.", "c": ["Rachel", "Gavin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Your baby's so cute. But why would you put a pink bow on a boy?", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Sorry, I'm just so used to hitting on the extras.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "All right, eight.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Bagels and doughnuts. Round food for every mood.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "That's funny. When you said 'unpaid,' it sounded like you said 'unpaid.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Well, I can skip a couple of steps, right? I mean, you did hear my round food thing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "I tend to keep talking till somebody stops me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "A vacation? My idea of a vacation does not involve... something sucking on my nipples until they are raw.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Clearly, you've never been to Sandals Paradise Island.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Rach, we have a code brown situation.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "And what department was that? The jerk department?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Well, did they mention that I'm rubber and you're glue?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Super ass-kissing power.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "See, for a superhero, not so much with the listening.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "I ran out of diapers, and I had to use your sweater. I didn't bring a sweater. Then, we should really go.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "So he said, 'If your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together... I am gonna fire her mother-puppy ass.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "She's Nurse With Tray. Nurse With Tray doesn't know Joey. She has no time for friends. She gets in that operating room and she carries that tray to the doctor... because if she doesn't, people die. Who dies? Man With Eye Patch!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what I was thinking? I don't know if 'code brown' is the best code word. I think people might know what we're talking about.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "All right, calm down, Norma Rae. They didn't actually say that.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Absolutely. Just give me your breasts, and we'll be on our way.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Ross. You're pretty.", "c": ["Emma", "Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Yeah. Goodbye.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Didn't see you there, Geller.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Let me put it this way: We're having sex whether you're here or not. Pants off, Bing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Hey, they were popular when I left.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Of course, by that time, ties will be obsolete... and we'll all be wearing silver jumpsuits.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "What? You faked it? You know what? I don't need a tie.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Well, it's not okay, because I gave a very memorable performance as the nurse. And now, suddenly, I'm the waitress? That's gonna confuse my fans.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Sometimes we use the same extras for different parts. It's okay. Well, maybe you are a nurse... but you moonlight as a waitress. Because I'm a single mother supporting my two children.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "No. No, see, you and Drake are having a fight. About what? He slept with you... Best sex you ever had, by the way. And then never called you. And I just wanted a new daddy for Davey and Becky.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "What are you doing? I'm very angry at him because he slept with me and never called me back. Me too. Me too!", "c": ["Director", "Phoebe", "Other extras"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "But I love that man. I'd follow him into hell. Microphones.", "c": ["Mr. Zelner"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "No one will remember that I worked here, and then Ralph will buy his helicopter... and Super Gavin will just fly right alongside of him.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Because you worked really hard, and it's your job. And you're a little crazy.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Listen, Phoebe. I was just talking to the director... How about I do something for you? Tomorrow, I'll bring you a hat, cover up the bald.", "c": ["Joey", "Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "What? I'm so good in the scene that I'm stealing focus from you. Rise to the challenge, Tribbiani, because I just raised the bar. Come join me up here.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Yeah, you can fire her, but I would call security. She won't go easy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Yes, you can. You just make the faces and the noises. Guys can fake it? Unbelievable. The one thing that's ours.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "Pants. Like shorts but longer.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "What if the baby gets into the ribbon drawer... and messes up all the ribbons? What if there's no room for a ribbon drawer... because the baby's stuff takes up all the space? Where will all the ribbons go?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "I know you botched that operation on purpose. I can't prove it yet, but when I do, you'll be going to jail for murder. I don't care if you are my brother. I'm not your brother. What about my children, Drake? No! No! No!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}, {"t": "She's at home putting up decorations... I tried, but apparently singing 'I Will Survive' in a helium voice, not helping.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Don't say that loud. Gunther's gonna want to hug me.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Somebody's getting a little fussy. You're damn right I am. I've been waiting for a cookie for seven minutes.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "If I wasn't married, she'd be rejecting me right now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Now that Rachel's gone? So hot, I cried myself to sleep last night.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "It starts with a V and ends with an X. And hopefully with a T-O in the middle. You know, come to think of it, the capital of Peru is 'Vtox.'", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Well, not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for. Kind of like Santa.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "I don't know, but they don't sound like spa treatments.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "It's so weird you think he's so gross, yet you're willing to eat his crackers.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Is this your first apology?", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Obviously, Heather's ass has something more important to say, so I'll just wait till it's finished.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Or was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. I'm jealous. 'Oh, Gavin. Please, please look at my ass.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "One: I didn't know that you knew that. And two: I wasn't some creep staring at his ass.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "It was just Tag, you know, like Cher or... you know, Moses.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "What are you, his boyfriend?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "I wasn't staring. I was leering.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "They've elected me to talk to you about the baby talk. It's not so good.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "What are you, a child? Yes!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Just think of him as a really, really, really horny Ben.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Take me home.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Do you want a piece of this?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "No. No, to test his neck strength.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "I thought we were gonna capture him and set him free in the countryside where he could meet a friendly possum and a wisecracking owl.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom! We'll have to think of a new name. I don't know, I kind of like 'Bob' for a girl.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Well, maybe it wasn't Bob. Maybe it was a mouse. Susie?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Who shot J.R.? I have got to get a job.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Seriously, dude. Three years ago.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the 'hot nanny.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "You do appear right on the cusp of something.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Because you know once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Nannies like her don't grow on trees. Picturing that tree? I am, yes.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Your thoughts? Plural? All right, fine. I only have one thought.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "She's forbidden fruit! It's like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Could you set my pillow and blanket on the couch for me, please?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "This is the stuff great novels are made of. Great novels? Fine. Mediocre porn.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Okay then. I'll pass you back to your son. Hey, Mom. No, that's just my secretary.", "c": ["Rachel", "Gavin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "If you like looking at butts so much, why don't you just go look in a mirror?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Thank God you finally said that. I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "I'm going to be very, very nice to you, you mama's boy, starting right now.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "I would never miss my secretary's birthday.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Right there. That was so fake!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "The pile of raw fish, or the tacos? Oh, the tacos. Definitely, the tacos.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Honey, all those boys had a bet to see if he could knock you over.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more vodka for me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "These are my rat babies!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "So this is what a stroke feels like.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Are you comparing my daughter to a rat? No. Seven rats.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sorry, Rachel, but I'm not like you. Okay? Not everyone can afford help.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "No, where'd you study acting? Molly, people don't study acting.", "c": ["Molly", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "No. The leather sticks to my ass.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel. Okay? I didn't think I could ever love again.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "It's like my favorite fairy tale come true. The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Yeah, not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a 'love the one you're with' kind of animal.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Oh, my-- Get off your sister!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "That's math I can't even do!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "But to nice families with children and reduced-fat Wheat Thins. Those were Bob's favorites.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "I haven't told you about that yet, have I?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "No way. You had your party. Now I have mine.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "9:30?! God! This party was lame.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Yes. I feel that you're a little annoying.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Rat baby! Rat baby! Rat baby! Rat baby! Maybe that's him.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Rats"}, {"t": "Look, can we talk about what happened here last night? Sure. Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "You believe that whoever did something last night did what they did or didn't do?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "That's so funny. I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony...and she said, 'No, no. It's too cold. Nobody will go out there.' And I said: 'Maybe if we put some lights out there they will.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "...on your balcony, even though there were no lights!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "You know when 'that's fine' sounds true? When someone yells it and spits.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Very funny! Ross is gay!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "And then the other day on the subway, a woman 'accidentally' sat on my hand.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Why did I get married?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "On how far along he is in the sex-change process.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Stop it, you guys. Stop staring, you're freaking me out.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Your knuckles are kind of hairy too.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "I'm a woman. Double standards!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Last time, this adorable old man got up there, forgot all the words, flipped out...and everyone booed him off the stage. It was so funny.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "So I don't have to sing, and I can just sit there and pass judgment on others? While drinking. I'm there.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Well, yes, Rachel, but you got something so beautiful out of it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Well, it was the end of the party. You were probably ironing wrapping paper.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Well, there is a thin line between love and hate...and it turns out that line is a scarf.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Wow! Five months maternity leave, you're back for four days...kiss a co-worker and call in sick. They are lucky to have you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "You looking to meet somebody?", "c": ["Sonya"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Holy Mother of God! Oh, my face! My face!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Damn it, woman!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "...but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "What are you doing? You know I can only dish it out.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "...so they know you're the funny one. I swoop in with interesting conversation...so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "We were wondering...if you're up for it, we only need six more people for a human pyramid.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Would you rather drown or be burned alive?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "We still got it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Is it a cold from standing on the balcony, or did a monkey bite you?", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Oh, he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Hide! That's Ross! Hide! I lied and I'm not sick either! Just stay behind the curtain!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "I used to be a rodeo clown.", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "So seriously, rodeo clown? One of the best, ma'am. One of the best.", "c": ["Rachel", "Gavin"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "I'm not here to judge.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Yeah, you're always singing: Yummy, yummy, yummy I've got love in my tummy", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Right. So that's a firm no?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "By drowning or...?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Bad day not to wear a bra.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Moment to make fun of that, please.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "You know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn...or taking out the garbage? Well, I earned mine...by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his 'business partners.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I guess you don't need my help, Victor-Victoria.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Did you hear that guy shouting, 'Look at those tips'? I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Also a good gift: underwear.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Good choice, Ross.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "I could be your new mommy.", "c": ["Michelle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Curl my eyelashes. Yeah!", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Who cares? They still love me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "You know what? If it's meant to be, I'll guess it.", "c": ["Michelle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Because I folded it up and put it in my pants pocket. Do you not look there?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Hey, none of the sane ones wanted to come back with me!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "Your eyebrows look weird.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "So you'll just touch yourself for anything, then?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Monica Sings"}, {"t": "You remembered to put clothes on this morning.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Fifth day's a charm.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "And when does she stop crying all night?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Hey! You're not naked.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "when you walk in on a woman using a breast pump.. Yeah, that'll do it.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Well, actually it.. It's not a divorce. It is not a divorce!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Names?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "We haven't tried that yet! Goody!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "What is there, like, two bites in here?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I may not have kids. Someone's gotta carry on the family name.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I had this date last night. Yuck! But we should probably keep it down, she's still in the bedroom.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "You know what the best part of it is? I get to do my plan laugh.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "[Joey does evil laugh, woman emerges looking disheveled]", "c": ["Joey", "Woman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "You want a job? Turn off Oprah and send out a resume.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Now that she eats solid food, she poops around the clock.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "By 'massage' I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Come on, who loves puzzles? Well, Ross does.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I'm not allowed to know smart women? Joey? We met at the library. I went in to pee.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "It's not Santa's plan. No, it's..", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know, it's not that fun. No, I think we killed it.", "c": ["Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Don't cry, it's just a bit! I'm your Uncle Chandler. Funny is all I have!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I don't do that. I'll try to stop.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I'm not working! There's not much to do around here!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I don't want to be drunk when I.. go home alone tonight.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Are you worried your date came, saw you and left?", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Oh, good, because as of 4:00 this afternoon, I am not.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I know you're not 18 anymore, but give it a minute.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Canoodling?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Well, I can't say hump or screw.. in front of the B-A-B-Y.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Well, what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I'm kind of funny-looking.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Well, come on, Steve, let's not rule out nervous laughter.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I have a lot of medical problems.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I lost it to drugs.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "And I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I do like my hair.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Really?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I'm going to hunt you down and kill you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "All right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned. He's not stoned. Did he go out for a cigarette?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Emma was doing it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "You can't have S-E-X when you're taking care of a B-A-B-I-E.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Well, that was weird. You were loud and I was fast.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "You better hope we're pregnant.. because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Don't touch my coat.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "We were playing peekaboo. She loves it when I'm dramatic.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Guys! Seriously, those sticks are expensive!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Unless you name your first-born child Joey.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Your family name is Tribbiani.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "You almost had me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "would you like to make love to me? Really, really not.", "c": ["Steve", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "It doesn't work anyway.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "What size is that?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Oh, so they owe me, like, three Phoebes.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "We're geniuses.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Mexico!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Being stood up two nights in a row has left a crab cake sized hole in my heart.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I have such fat hands!", "c": ["Background character"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "I hate my dick!", "c": ["Background character"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The One With The Blind Dates"}, {"t": "Let's get past the moment.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "If I don't know who makes the most... how do I know who I like the most? Hi, Joey.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Right. So it'll be the same, except less sex with you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Humiliating and noble.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Ross, you did not come up with 'got milk?'", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I should've written it down.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Joey, you're never gonna believe it! She called! - She did? - You got it! - I did? - What is she talking about? I don't know, but it sounds great!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Not that little one underneath the deli like last time.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I read it and didn't understand a single word!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "No, but I saw the previews. They played it right before Jackass.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "When the monkey hits him in the face with the giant rubber phone.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Maybe the monkey will be at the audition. Don't make me more nervous than I already am!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Except for the tie, the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I know I'm a little older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope. The comedian. USO. Uh, it's U.S.A., sir.", "c": ["Chandler", "Intern"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Tell me about it, huh? 'Unlimited nights and weekends!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "When they shoot you out of that cannon... 'Hang up that phone!' One take.", "c": ["Joey", "Leonard"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh, I thought that was your character's name. You know? I thought you were, like, an Indian or something, you know, with the...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "'I could go right now, mon!' Huh?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "If you wanna sleep with him, do it on your own time. This is a play. I will call my agent so fast... on a cell phone connection so clear, he's gonna think I'm next door!", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "And also, how you doing?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I really doubt that.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "And don't learn the words. Let the words learn you.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Couldn't I just sleep with the producer?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Oh, I hear divorce bells.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Ross, this is my old friend, Lowell, from the streets!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I can't believe you're still doing this. - Ah, I know. But I quit smoking. - Good for you.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Lowell"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Well, so far so good.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Wow! It's like they're on fire!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I'll give you $500 for them.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "They're called 'kicks' or 'skids.' I think I heard somebody say 'slorps.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Kids! Kids! Roll your way to childhood obesity!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Have you considered using a girl with huge knockers?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Why do you think I buy Mrs. Butterworth's?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I have friends outside the six of us.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Your mother killed herself. - She was a drug dealer.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I was about to do some serious damage. - Okay.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Ahem, Wonder Woman. Ahem.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "pick up a couple of dozen linzer tortes for someone...", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Science Boy. - Oh, yeah! What was his superpower again? - A superhuman thirst for knowledge.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "No. Actually, you might wanna stay away from Jane Street. That's where Stabby Joe works.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "preteen comic-book nerds were my meat.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "'Geology rocks!' Oh, my God! I know! I mugged Ross!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "But I am bursting with Yoo-hoo!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "this squirmy quality... you bring to the character I couldn't have imagined.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Look at that! Still in character. I like him.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I plant seeds. I can't explain it. I don't know.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "They're so uncomfortable, it's like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Yesterday at my audition, I had to pee. Apparently, that makes me a good actor.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Joey, that was formula. - We gotta get more of that.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Yeah, I think I broke my hip.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Well, there was actually a rather lively discussion about the Pleistocene... All right, nothing is worth this.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "You don't think I would have defended myself against a 14-year-old...? Oh, my God, it was you!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "I mean, well, it's just that I've always felt kind of like an outsider. You know, the rest of you have these connections that go way back... and, you know, now you and I have a great one.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "It's not the best!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Really? Even more humiliating than... Let's not do this!", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "And then, at the end of the commercial, the girls get out of the hot tub... and start making out with each other. Huh? Huh? Huh?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "That's interesting. Just one thought: You didn't mention the shoes.", "c": ["Boss"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Not suitable for adults.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Or, man who's two years younger than me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "The cold weather hurts my hip.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Science Boy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Yeah. But you should know I also have a jar of Vaseline and a cat skull in here.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "Absolutely amazing. The part is yours.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "You don't have a job, but you have no problem ordering porn. On a Saturday afternoon? I was in the house!", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "She was the huge guy that mugged you? Yeah. - I see. You didn't happen to tell... - Everybody we know? Yeah. - Great. Thanks.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The One With The Mugging"}, {"t": "What? What? -Shaving? -No, rabies.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "...farting on my lap. Not so funny when someone does that to you, is it?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Who's painting us?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "...since I was a kid and they came up with Double Stuf Oreos.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "...but I'm inclined to blame Enron.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Although it would be nice if the thing that you loved was finding gold.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "You're a chef. What can you make out of baking soda and beer?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Or, you slipped on ice at their house last month. Can we sue them?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "If there's one thing my father taught me, it was... well, to always knock before going into the pool house.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "...even if it means you working twice as hard.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "No, I don't-- Get him. Get him! Separate the sick one from the herd!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "I put that tube top on as a joke.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Why don't you turn them inside-- Done it.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Oh, fine. Yeah, you got away. But don't look so smug. You're gonna bleed to death.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Partly because I live above a known crack den...", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Wow, Mike Hanigan... you sure know how to make a girl say 'Hell, yeah.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Pick up your socks. Put down the toilet seat. No, we are not having sex anymore.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "A man's ass is not nudity!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it myself. But Chandler is my best friend. It would be wrong. Good, but wrong.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Okay, first of all, it would be great.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "What do you think I am, a soap opera star? Yeah. That's right, I am.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Chandler? Pride? I know, he thinks he has it. It's really cute.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Whoops, Joey fell down the stairs. Or, 'Whoops, Joey electrocuted himself again.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Women can. You can't.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "There is a hardware store right down the street?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Unless they're playing 'This Is What My Sister Would Look Like.' Yeah, she's not so cute.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Is that a bit you guys do? Uh-huh. We're playing you two.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "I'm a scientist. I observe.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "...that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, load up the Volvo, I want to be a soccer mom.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Don't you mean 'groomie'?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 4.78, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Honey, leave the terrible jokes to me.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Wow, seriously. Can't do this.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "That is the fastest I have ever thought.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "I am on fire.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Boob job.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Making them smaller, that would be crazy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "I don't have any porn. Back of the closet in my bedroom.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Well, I think the reason people laughed is that it's a play on the word 'roomie.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Okay, well, that's bad. Yeah.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Perhaps... a blond who always uses the toilet? Except for once in the ocean.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Yeah. I don't know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Moths?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "And definitely not... two single things.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "I am warm... for your form.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Don't answer that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any weirder.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "My God, he sounded just like my high-school wrestling coach.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "God, it's just such a magical time.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Seriously, you? 'Divorce-o'?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "If you have to call me a name, I'd prefer 'Ross, the Divorcer.' It's just cooler.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "And once afterward.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "It's not cooler.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Fascist.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Your ass?!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "...but the giant ass and the big clown feet?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "What?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Okay, so I'm out $4000 and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey, what do you guys think about this: Ross, the Divorce Force.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "They are awfully boxy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "You know, sometimes your words, they hurt.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "I mean, not for me, because I'm only pretending to hold it, but for these guys.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "And...hernia.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "I said to bring the cushions up first, but no.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Look on the bright side. At least you won't have to live with this ugly chair.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "That was here already, huh?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Who knows when I'll be able to get in here again, huh?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The One With The Boob Job"}, {"t": "Oh, great. A faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Remember Andrea Rich? - Tall girl, wouldn't sleep with you? - Uh-huh. Well, her Internet company went under, and she lost an ear in a boating accident.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Bet she'd sleep with you now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "No, I already e-mailed her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Wait a second. You split with Carol because you had different interests? I think you split with Carol because you had one very similar interest.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "What, did you think you learned how to do it in the last two minutes?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Also, I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. She is now my girlfriend. I don't care what society says, it's the best sex I've ever had.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Dude! Uh, I think you made it clear you can't be trusted with the ball inside the house. And send.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "It was fun. Right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye. Oh, no. Who did that? Chandler.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "It's a stuffed animal, you know? It's for kids. Not for adults. I know that.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Rachel, let's be clear on this, okay? I do not love Huggsy. I like him a normal amount.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "All right. Well, Emma loves him. Yeah. Well, why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I've tried everything to feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but I can't think of anything that rhymes with: [SCREAMS]", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Oh, good, because I've already thought of three. Four! I just thought of a fourth.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "All right, if that's what you want. That was a test, and you just failed. Damn it! Rookie mistake.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I have sex with dinosaurs?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Not only is it not funny, it's physically impossible. Okay? Depending on the species, I'd have to have a 6-foot-long-- It's not funny!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I respectfully disagree.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I don't have a page. Oh, I respectfully disagree!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Look at you. All sweet and innocent, sleeping like an angel. With Emma's chubby little hands wrapped around you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Step away from the crib! I have a weapon! It's okay! It's okay, Rach! It's me! Put down the scrunchie.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "This isn't over.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs. Well, that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah. Well, it came as quite a shock to me too. Well, I guess I should've known. Yeah. He just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I'm dead?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Well, how you died was funny. Oh, please. Hit by a blimp?", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "It kills over one Americans every year.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt Professor Stern was... when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Because I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software... and a stack of gay porn. That's right. Your coming-out is about to get real graphic!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "What are you, animals? It's 4:00 in the afternoon.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Phoebe, that's how it starts. 'I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing. Why not just a little sliver?' Or, 'Okay, just a slice or two.' You know, the next thing you know, you're 210 pounds... and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "This is your cell phone? This is your current cell phone?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Yes. It reminds me of a simpler time.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Hey! No! - No! - Give it to me! - You can't have it. - Give it to me! - No.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Damn you, Monica Geller hyphen Bing!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Hey, look who's here. It's Joey. And he brought home a friend.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Joey, Emma's right here. You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "No, no, no, it's not a girl. It's... a brand-new Huggsy!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "You know what? When I was a little girl, I had a little pink pony named Cotton. Oh, I loved her so much. I took her everywhere. I would braid her tail--", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Make the transfer!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Huggsy and I can't find it?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Don't worry about it. I swallowed that years ago.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "But he's the same.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "You're not the same.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that... after I've buzzed you into the building.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Those are my shoes. Oh. Well, when you get over this breakup, we need to go shopping.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "What are the chances?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "One billion Chinese people, and they send Mike!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "There's a speakerphone on the base unit.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Base unit. Think, Monica, think!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Sorry. I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Make room for your friend.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "No, no, no. This is dangerous territory. Keep it clean.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "So that's what I'd look like if I worked out. And was being serviced by a policeman.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner. And I carried that guy.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Ross, don't press send. Don't press-- No, too late. Too late. It's sent.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Sorry, so is that picture of you and the policeman.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "It's Monica, okay? That's not Monica! All right, fine! It's original Huggsy!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I know Emma wants him, but he's mine and I need him. She's being unreasonable.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "It's because it reminds her of her Uncle Joey.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "If Huggsy means that much to Emma, then... Well, she can have him.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "No, forget it! Forget it! I can't do it!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Are you--? You're gonna take Huggsy away from a little child? How do you think I got him in the first place?", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "All right, you two. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: Mucus, fungus, and the idea of me and Ross doing it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Just to be with you one more night. I want that too. But is that gonna make it too hard? It can't be any harder than this.", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I-- I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved. Everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would be the last time... I never would have stopped.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Kiss him, you fool! What? Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him, then I will.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I knew you'd be here! Aw, crap.", "c": ["Mike", "Manny"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Well, you're not doing a very good job. Excuse me? What's with the kissing? Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.", "c": ["Manny", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "You didn't hear the speech. I've heard the speech. If he knew it was gonna be the last time-- Hey, it was very moving. You're just heartless! You're weak! You're weird! Your pants are undone. Oh!", "c": ["Monica", "Manny"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Where'd they go? Damn it. Well, we blew it. I blame myself. And I blame you too.", "c": ["Monica", "Manny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "It's been an hour, and not one of my classmates has shown up? I tell you, when I actually die, some people are gonna get seriously haunted.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Hi. Glad you could come. Please come in. Hi. You're Chandler Bing, right?", "c": ["Chandler", "Tom Gordon"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. Yes, let me take your coat. Thanks. Uh, I'm so sorry about Ross, it's... No, at least he died doing what he loved. Watching blimps.", "c": ["Chandler", "Tom Gordon"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Actually, I barely knew him. I came because I heard Chandler's news. Do you know if he's seeing anyone?", "c": ["Tom Gordon"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Yes, he is. Me. What? You mean--? Oh.", "c": ["Chandler", "Tom Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Can I ask you a personal question? How do you shave your beard so close?", "c": ["Tom Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I'm dead and no one cares? I look like a man?", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "And Monica, it's probably the way you stand!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I mean, I went to that school for four years and I didn't have an impact on anyone?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Well, that's not true. You had an impact on me. I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.", "c": ["Kori"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Chandler. Chandler Bing. And I'm not gay. I'm not gay at all.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "You are married, though. Don't listen to him. He's in a really bad mood.", "c": ["Kori", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.", "c": ["Kori"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "And he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him.", "c": ["Kori"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "And if heaven has a door... I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.", "c": ["Kori"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "No, you didn't!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "I'm still alive! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story. But the things you just said really made my day.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "The fact that you're here means more to me... than if this room were filled with people.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "You sick freak! Who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you.", "c": ["Kori"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "No, Mom, I am not dead.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, okay?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Actually, no. Even if I had died, you would not be left childless. Monica?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The One With The Memorial Service"}, {"t": "Monica asks 'what is it not?' and Joey correctly answers 'A place to entertain my lady friends' about borrowing the Porsche", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's second quiz: 'And what else is it not?' Joey: 'A place to eat spaghetti'", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Joey specifies 'Yeah, Connecticut. Not West Virginia' about where to buy lottery tickets", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler's sarcastic response: 'Yes, because if I was at my old job, we'd say, \"300 million? No, thank you.\"'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross lists impossible things: 'I also want to be king of my own country...and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross doubles down: 'Still on Amelia Earhart?' 'The woman just vanished!'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Joey's math: 'But there's six of us, so we'd only have to get struck 7 times. I like those odds!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross says 'boo-hockey' instead of cursing", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross explains baby-safe cursing: 'boo-hockey...gosh darn it and brother pucker'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross compares Emma to Joey: 'When I talk to her, I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying. Kind of like Joey.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Joey's confused response: 'What's that now?'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica defensively asks 'You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something?'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler reveals: 'No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.' Monica: 'That was a good day.'", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica panics about car: 'They're towing your car!' Chandler: 'I'm parked in a garage on Morton.'", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica continues: 'They're towing a car. And I am seeing spots.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Joey's baby confusion: Emma panic followed by 'Oh, yeah, the casserole lady'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross's sarcastic fantasy: 'we can all go out to the balcony...and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica asks 'You think he washed his hands?' after Joey handles phone", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross mocks their lottery odds: 'If only it were a sure thing like your 24-state lottery'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's vindicated response: 'Yeah, look who's coming around!'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler's dejected 'Sense the tone' about not getting the job", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's random complaint: 'I mean, come on, pull up your pants!' about intern Nate", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler's confession: 'Except I don't care about Charlie' about wanting his friend to get a job", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Phoebe's psychic prediction and Ross's sarcastic response about giving someone else a chance", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's vegetarian complaint: 'Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair. Just because we don't eat the meat...doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Rachel avoiding turkey smell: 'I don't want that turkey smell all over my hands' and Joey's response about casserole stink", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's awkward wish secrecy during wishbone breaking", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross burns his hand on the lamp: 'Ow! That thing gets hot!'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's rich fantasy: 'We're gonna be like, \"Everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the Cape.\"'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's impression of poor Ross: 'Oh, I can't, guys. I'll have to meet you up there. I gotta gas up the Hyundai'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross's protest: 'Okay, I've heard myself on tape, and I sound nothing like that'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's newspaper headline fantasy: 'Lottery Winners' Friend...Filled With Regret, Eats Own Arm'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross's logical question: 'Why would I eat my own arm?' Monica: 'Well, you wouldn't, but we own the paper. We can print whatever we want'", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Rachel using 'boo-hockey' in regular conversation", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross's investment answer to winning lottery and Monica's response: 'Ooh. Calm down'", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross's sarcastic correction: 'Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say, \"invest it\"? I meant, \"Be cool and piss it all away.\"'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Joey's excitement about being picked for the Knicks: 'You would do that? I never get picked!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's sarcastic response to Joey's Knicks complaint: 'You're right, it has been your dream for over 15 seconds'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross calling Rachel 'Mommy' accidentally: 'Uh, \"Mommy\"?' and explanation", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's flirty response: 'Mm. I like that, Daddy' to Ross saying they should call him Daddy", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Phoebe escalating the Daddy talk: 'Ooh, is Daddy getting angry? Is Daddy gonna spank me?'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler almost joining in: 'Well, that depends. Have you been a bad--? No, I can't'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler's desperate job confession: 'Oh, man, I would've slept with him!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler's nepotism realization: 'He is the boss' son'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's controlling organization: 'I'm sorry, idea time is over' when someone else has a suggestion", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler insisting there are no tickets on nightstand and Monica's 'Chandler, sense the tone' response", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Phoebe's betrayal revelation: 'The psychic also said that I would be betrayed'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica defending the extra tickets: 'Hey, you just got in five minutes ago!' Ross: 'Three minutes ago!'", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica revealing when they bought tickets: 'When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Joey's eager response: 'I'll show you how' about reading magazines through plastic", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's muffin analogy: 'Someone gave me muffins last week. I couldn't get rid of you for three days!'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler's principles abandonment: 'However, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job...so I can't afford to have principles. So screw you! The tickets are ours!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's pleased response: 'There's the man I married'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's threat: 'Fine. Don't be my friends. I'll buy new friends. Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they look just like you!'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross's bond threat: 'And if I win...I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond!'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Joey's lottery invention credit: 'Thanks for inventing the lottery!' sarcastically", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's balcony threat and everyone's panic when she actually goes to throw them", "c": ["Monica", "All"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler's materialistic plea: 'Can I come a little bit closer? Valuable things are getting squished'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Friends vs Money choice: Monica yells 'Money!' while everyone else says 'Friends!'", "c": ["Monica", "All"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica revealing more hidden tickets: 'Even these five that I hid in my bra'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica accidentally dropping tickets and everyone scrambling: 'I think I broke your bowl'", "c": ["Monica", "All"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's optimism about wind: 'And the wind sure made it fun' about searching for tickets", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Phoebe's pigeon death prediction: 'As a matter of fact, she said that's how I'm going to die'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Phoebe's pigeon voice message impersonation with 'Coo' sound effects", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross's response to pigeon message: 'Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Rachel's workplace comparison: 'It's like that time they promoted Saundra over me at work' and the Ralph Lauren follow-up", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross calling Emma 'Daddy's little girl' and Phoebe ruining it: 'Phoebe's totally ruined that for me'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's lottery-induced personality change: 'My God, I can already feel myself changing'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Rachel's complaint about mother's lips: 'Mom, please, I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Emma's first word 'Gleba' and the dictionary fight that follows", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Rachel's circular logic: 'Uh, Emma just said, \"Gleba\"' as example sentence", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross's baby sound mockery: [BLOWS RASPBERRY] 'Why don't you look up:'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Gleba definition revelation: 'The fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross's proud conclusion: 'She's gonna be a scientist'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler's rejection call expectation: 'Ah, the \"I'm sorry I rejected you\" phone call. I'm not used to getting these from guys'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Chandler's immature enthusiasm: 'I'd love to be somebody's assistant. Answering phones...getting coffee, I live for that stuff. And I'm not too mature. Farts, boobies, butt cracks!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Boss's ironic response about sophistication after Chandler said 'butt cracks'", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's reward system: 'Thanks. Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?' 'You bet. No TV or anything'", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Joey's secret wishbone wish: 'I, uh, didn't wish we would win the lottery. I wished you'd get the job'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Ross's theme park idea: 'So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Phoebe's $3 lottery win discovery and celebration", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Monica's payout options joke: 'Wow, you think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout?' about $3", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "50 cents distribution and everyone giving their share to Phoebe", "c": ["All"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Street lottery winner story: guy finds ticket and wins $10,000", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "Final pigeon message: 'Coo. Again, don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon. Coo.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The One With The Lottery"}, {"t": "I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything.. but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "I haven't seen you this worked-up since you did that dog-food commercial.. and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Yeah, that was a disappointment.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Is this the men's room? I feel so foolish. Have you always known you wanted to be an actor?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Yeah, that was an awesome day.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Well, you can't. We're booked solid for the next month.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Well, I can't give you a massage.. because my license has been revoked again.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "It's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "I know how that feels. Last semester, I had two students.. who wanted to take my 1:00 class, but it was full. So they had to take my 5:00.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "That's not the same.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Oh, no. You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for seven years.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Oh, good. Okay, good for you. Trying to recapture the magic.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Tell them I'm a chef at a big New York restaurant. Tell them that in two weeks, I will once again be a masseuse in good standing.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Don't you think that'll be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "It still seems a little.. 'Moonlight boat ride'?!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "I don't know, but one of the extras sure did.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "And also, so gay.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Well, at the Christmas party, him and Santa did some definitely-gay stuff.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Rach, if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay, I don't know if I could do this.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "You look real familiar. Have we..? Shh! He's asking her a question.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Or, cut. You know, that's your call.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "They must have seen me play before.. because they requested a bunch of my songs. Yeah, 'You Suck'.. and 'Shut Up and Go Home.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Classy, huh?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "He's wound up. We had to stop at every maple-candy stand on the way here. I ate all my gifts for everybody.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Check again, please. I'm sorry, it's not here. It's not there.", "c": ["Chandler", "Desk Clerk", "Ross"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "and if they're closed, then maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Does that room have a closet I can lock him in?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Each? I'm your date. So I pay for everything and have no sex. Oh, life before Monica.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Great. At $100 an apple, we're there.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "It's the sugar. Could you hold the apple?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "But they're not as good as me!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Screw her! That part is mine!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Kiss me. What? Kiss me. Rach, it doesn't say that. No, I'm saying it.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Well, that's new.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "We're four short of a bushel!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "God, I feel so alive. I love being in the country!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "I wish I'd thought this through.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Yes, but the batteries.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "When I was younger, I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese. And on our wedding night, I ate his head.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Olivia?! I thought she was marrying Connor?! Oh, right. Real life more important.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "I took two psych classes in college. You took the same class twice. It was hard!", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Right? I think this might even class up 'The Ballad of the Uncircumcised Man.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Right, yeah, okay. I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but I can't see it. I can't see it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Have you ever heard of a 'key'? It's what some people sing in.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Well, at least all my songs don't taste like garlic.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "When I'm in a coffeehouse bopping along to one of your songs.. I'm wearing earplugs.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "my bar sales have gone up like crazy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "What are people having, the garlic martini?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Oh, we did. And you still have all your lamps.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "There's something new in the bowl. Look, we have enough. Just walk away. No, but I want the pine cones.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "There's a forest right outside. It's not the same.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "My maple candy!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "You'd better get back in that kitchen. The garlic's not gonna overuse itself.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "You made your point earlier when you spit in my guitar case.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Okay, who identified this restaurant's tone as 'pretentious-comma-garlicky'?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll-taking?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Who hopes the hand-raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "I couldn't find this little plastic thingy that goes in the top of the blender. And I thought, 'Well, you know, how important can that be?' Right? Turns out, very.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Wow, definitely just Drake.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Is this that thing you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment? A little.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Well, just once.. with you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "What the hell are you talking about?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Thanks, dude. This is great!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "That's weird, it's empty.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Do you guys hear a buzzing?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The One With Rachels Dream"}, {"t": "Yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I could fall asleep at a play.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "To listen to a woman complain for two hours. I don't think it gets bet--", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "What more do these broads want?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Let's see. Who do I hate?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Physical comedy sequence with dropping things and getting tangled", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 3.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Because!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Okay, seriously, did not understand a word you just said.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Don and Janet... I know them from work. Both of them? No, just one of them. Which one? I don't know. What were the names I just said?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "What the hell are you cooking?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Yes, but, Ross, you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "What? These aren't suede.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "If I weren't doing this, I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I wrote that in one night.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "An option that many of my students use.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Oh, damn it!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Stupid Jan Rogers!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "God, I'm stupider than Jan Rogers!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I can't believe you guys went for that one.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Please, I was trying to be nice. You're the worst one.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "And it's out of my system.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.", "c": ["Professor Spafford"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Oh, it's not over.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "You're kind of playing it fast and loose with the word 'interesting.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I've lost the will to live.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "When we exit, should we walk or run or prance or stroll--?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Stop it! Stop it! He talks slow, but he might pee fast. Okay, let's move!", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I saw the article on your coffee table. I memorized the title to freak you out.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "And I don't know if you've noticed, but she's a hottie!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Charlie appears right behind Ross", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Newcastle disease is a secretion-borne virus that only affects chickens and other poultry.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Well, I would shake your hand, but I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "All right, professor or detective?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "No, I arranged that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Close it up! Close it up!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, that's what you want. My inhibitions lowered.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Where the hell is everybody?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Oh, man! If I had known I was coming to this party... I never would've gotten married!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Please. Chandler's the love of my life. Oh, leather pants! Have mercy!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Albie.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "what regular people experience when they watch Access Hollywood.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "What a loser.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I'm gonna blow my average-sized brains out.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretended to be a woolly mammoth.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Of course you would! Your brains are smaller than mine!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "'Can we walk?'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I don't know. You seem lovely.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Yeah, my character just won a Nobel Prize.", "c": ["Dirk"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs. I'd lead with that.", "c": ["Dirk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Are you a little slutty?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "It'll cost you $5000 to get to level three, and I don't feel any different.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Me. Because we live together. It's a joke! It's a joke.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "But after Chapter 16: Fat, Single and Ready to Mingle... I was uplifted.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "So I got it when I was 13. Very difficult.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Ph.D.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "Stop going through my stuff!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I'm smarter than him!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "I can't believe you guys bought that. Enjoy your slow death.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The One With The Soap Opera Party"}, {"t": "-I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie. -I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "But surprise! I missed most of the party. Charlie's a girl, right?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "-Why do you care so much? -Yes, Rachel. Why do you care so much?", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Because Ross is the father of my child. You know, and I want him to hook up with lots of women.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "I don't know. They seemed to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "And if the kids got her intelligence...and Joey's raw sexual magnetism...those nerds would get laid!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "God, I forgot how hot she was. I'm gonna get some more coffee.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Her mind is totally acrimonious.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Guess that's not how she used it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Those people who like someone and don't kiss them...those people are stupid. I hate those people.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "They're all professors, intellectuals. Paleontologists mostly.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "If we want to grab a bite before work, we'd better get acrimonious.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "No? Am I getting close?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "I bought them off eBay. They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive. Oh, then I overpaid.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "I can't eat veal. I can't wear fur. I can't go hunting. -Do you want to go hunting? -I would like to have the option.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "She wants to go hunting too!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "I don't care about any of that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Well, I am going hunting.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Okay, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Until then, you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "They're so clinical. This is a pee-pee, that's a hoo-hoo.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "It's not okay to do it in a doctor's office...but it is okay to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "And in my defense, it was a Wendy's.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "I'm sure a doctor's office can't be worse...than on a class trip to the Hershey factory.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah! Rachel talks too!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "I had a pretty hectic day at work too. Today I had to open a door and go:", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "The Mets suck, okay? You wanna see the Yankees.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Which one? They all suck. The museum. I don't think so.", "c": ["Joey", "Charlie", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "-This has been torn up. -And taped back together.", "c": ["Receptionist", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink...about how awful these massage chains are. -Then why do you work here?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Coworker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Because it's good money. But that doesn't change the fact...that this is an evil, bloodsucking corporate machine.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Well, I think this is a great place to work. Okay, are they listening?", "c": ["Coworker", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Look, if you don't know what the word 'acrimonious' means, just don't use it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Are you wearing two belts?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Hey, what do you know?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "If they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the 'Muse,' you know? Short for 'museum' and avoid all the confusion.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Yeah, most days the place is packed with confused, angry baseball fans.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Jeez. Sounds like you should be going on this date.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Because, honey, and I mean this in the sweetest way possible...nobody's gonna wanna watch that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "I usually have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "How great is this? We're probably fertile. Let's go home.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Oh, they gave you the kiddie size.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Please go. Just let me know if you need a hand.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "I think it just fell off.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "So, what's your name? It's a normal Swedish name. Ikea.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Hey, say, you'll know this. What's the capital of Sweden? Stockholm. Damn. I wish I knew if that was right.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "No, no. My mouth says the words, my brain is thinking 'monster trucks.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Last week on Days, I had to say: 'Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy.' Wow. What does that mean? No idea.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene...so I guess it means, 'You'll get eaten by a bear.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Touch it. It's really bumpy. No, no, no. No ad-libbing. And, dude, you can't touch the paintings.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "I don't allow porn at home, so this is like a vacation for him.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "It was a Wendy's!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "And that's the Swedish national anthem. Thank you for asking.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Maybe it's because she's got such callousy fingers...from playing crummy guitar.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Or maybe she has trouble loosening your knots...because you're such a high-maintenance tight-ass.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Man, you can lie about Sweden!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "And they give me benefits, like medical and dental and a four-oh-wunk.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "No. No, we went to the left. Oh, Joey, Joey, Joey.", "c": ["Charlie", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Some of the stuff wasn't where you said it would be, but I made it work.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Actually, it's both of us.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "It means that my guys won't get off their Barcaloungers...and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassie!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The One With The Fertility Test"}, {"t": "Oh, that feels so good. / Oh, lucky me. Coffee and a live sex show.", "c": ["unknown character", "unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "I was just reading to Emma. / From Cosmo?", "c": ["unknown character", "unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Climax Your Way to Better Skin", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Not me. Not me. Not me.", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "and to always, always, always put on underwear when trying on clothes", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "And some slutty lingerie. Slutty!", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Pain in the ass! / That's off, right?", "c": ["unknown character", "unknown character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Oh, isn't that nice? The three of you, trying on slutty lingerie together.", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "That's not what we're gonna do. / Why'd you ruin it? Who was I hurting?", "c": ["unknown character", "unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "I've always tried so hard to be a good hostess.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "While I was growing up, they sure seemed to be in a hurry to get places.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Don't worry. After a while, you'll tune it out.", "c": ["Dr. Connelly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Is that a hint? Because we love you, Dr. Connelly, but we don't want you to be our child.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Wow! Talk about an inhospitable environment.", "c": ["Dr. Connelly"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Not gonna find any clothes in there.", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "When was the last time he made a submission deadline for an abstract?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Just seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist. / It's fun. Yeah.", "c": ["Joey", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "You're not gonna to do a magic trick, are you? / No.", "c": ["Charlie", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work and/or are sick.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "But you come first. / I'm there. / I don't know Ross, I'm not feeling too.. / Barbados is in the Caribbean, Joe.", "c": ["Monica", "Monica", "Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Why didn't anybody say so?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Apparently, you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Enough said. I'm there for you, man. Where is she, upstairs?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Your long-standing offer to have sex with my wife is appreciated.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "What?! No! I'm not gonna give them Ben!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Well, that's not what you want.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "When I go to the party later.. Mike will know I'm over him because I'll smell like another guy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Okay, good, I'm dating a Russian cabdriver.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Seriously, does anyone buy this? I smell like beets.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "On Melanie Griffith in Working Girl.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Because I've seen them. / You've seen all the movies? / Yeah. I'm a big fan. / Of the movies. / You know, motion pictures. / The talkies.", "c": ["Charlie", "Rachel", "Charlie", "Charlie", "Charlie", "Charlie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "You know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart.. and tall, you know.. and just swept Joey off his feet. Nobody else has a chance.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "You know, Monica's mom.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Wow. Isn't that ironic that he liked you, and now you like..? / I get it!", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Look. He's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic. I mean, he's sperm-tastic!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Come up. Meet my wife. Give us your sperm.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I think he'd be the way to go.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Do you have a coaster? I don't want to make a ring. / Tell me about yourself, Zack.", "c": ["Zack", "Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Oh, thank God, I can't hear a word that you're saying. / I didn't say anything yet.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "It is annoying when parents put babies on the phone. / All right, enough out of you!", "c": ["Rachel", "Rachel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "What? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda! / Barbados. / Fine, I'll rent a car and drive.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "In fact, he was just talking in his sleep before.. and evidently he wants someone named Fran to 'spank him harder.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "I mean, hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "What do you think? I want his genes for my kid. Those eyes, those cheekbones. / Okay, there's enthusiastic, and there's just plain gay.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "No. Although, I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.", "c": ["Zack"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "You know what's not funny? Male pattern baldness.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Did you have braces as a child? / No, I didn't. / Yes!", "c": ["Monica", "Zack", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "We're teeth people, Zack.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "I don't have time for your childish games, okay? I still have to find something incredible to wear.. so I can beat Mike at 'Who's More Over Who'!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all. It's, like, she's nympho.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "stop-eating hot!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "That's a very serious thing in my culture.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "But not on the wine that you made, okay? Because I just don't want to go back to the emergency room.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "This is a hundred-thousand-ruble note, which is worth approximately.. nothing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Well, after eight years of research, I discovered.. that it can't be done.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "To people who base eight years of research on a typo in a scientific journal.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Because I'm not seeing anybody. I just totally made that up. / Really? / I don't know why, I'm sorry. I guess I just didn't want to lose face.", "c": ["David", "Phoebe", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Hey, there's Phoebe. Is that Mike she's with? / No, that's David. / There's a third guy? / Tip of the iceberg.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Are you always tired? Because that could be a sign of clinical depression.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Why not? Just because his great-grandmother was obese? Our kid's gonna get that from you anyway.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's better! / No, he's not. / If I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by him.. or anyone else.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "I'm the husband. I'm supposed to bring the sperm.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "Wait. If we're lucky, and we're really, really, really quiet.. we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "You wouldn't know if Jeanette's planning on keeping her baby, would you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The One With The Donor"}, {"t": "That's right. Daddy and Uncle Joey are going on a trip today.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "These babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Do you have anything that will get us out of them?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "He's been in Minsk for eight years. If he gets too much direct sunlight.. he'll die.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "It's a blanket, Joe, not a cloak of invisibility.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I know. There are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I think I've been recognized.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "That never happens.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Sarah. I dig you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "You probably recognize me from a little show called The Days of Our Lives.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Dude, it's just Days of Our Lives. There's no 'the.'", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "What's all your furniture pointed at?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Well, didn't you two come to the right convention.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Yeah. That's the same as, 'It has something to do with wind.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Mike? Who's Mike?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "That's a blast from the past, huh?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Well, at least you took me down with you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "See, if you want advice, go to Ross or Monica. Or Joey.. for advice about pizza toppings or a burning sensation when you pee.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Why did Phoebe and Mike break up? - Because his penis was too big.", "c": ["David", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. That's the kind of thing I do.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding, but..", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I didn't mean a thong. I meant thongs.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "You really should have been more clear about that.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Britney Spears! Yeah. She never misses these conferences.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "You could say, 'Hey, Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "You got yourself a very weird deal.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I wasn't gonna swim. I was gonna dig a hole.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "you are pink with barely controlled glee.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "A penis one!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Everything is upside-down here. It rains all day long and nobody watches TV, and Ross is famous.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I was just lusting after Chandler.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "That's one-seventieth of a carat. And the clarity is quite poor.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Are you leaving the Supremes?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I can just see it. 'Mike, do you take Phoebe?' You know? It's every girl's dream.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Roseannadanna.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I mean, when I signed up for dino week.. nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Secret teapot.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Well, it didn't say, 'This is a virus.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Nude.. Pictures of Anna Kournikova.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? She's never even won a major tournament.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Well, I tried Billie Jean King, but..", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I can usually make it go away by kissing her.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I don't think your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Any chance any of this happened in a galaxy far, far away?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in the humidity?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "No matter how much we meddle, we'll never be able to unmeddle.. the thing that you meddled up in the first place!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Kate Miller it is. And that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I know, I know. I tell you. But on the plus side, we get to wear those white coats.. and stand behind that really tall counter.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "And it's The Days of Our Lives.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Well, I play the handsome, macho pharmacist.. and Rachel is my student.. who wants to learn all about.. pharmacing.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "My nudity in the film is not tasteful at all.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I love you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Actually, it's not that complicated.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Hey! High-five!", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "'Hi. Just dropped by to say your wife's gay.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Not enough pills in the world, Rach.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "No, I'm not blushing.. and I'm sunburned. From, you know, the rain.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "or Canadian.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "It's the humidity!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Actually, yeah, that'd be great.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "If it stops raining.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I wouldn't brag about that, big guy.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "It was a good trip.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Hey! Remember when I had corneas?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Not to mention Coldsaurus.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "He said 'erectus.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Okay, now we're just holding hands.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Look, I took it too far.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Not you guys. You've got it going on.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I punched you. And? Phoebe. And? I clunked your heads together.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "This scar? That's from Pictionary.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God, there's two of them.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "He was a lawyer.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Weather bitch.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Man, smart people are dull.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Curious George! You know, the monkey and the guy with the yellow hat. He had a paper route.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "This is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I sleep with him!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "just nifty.", "c": ["Jarvis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Well, get out!", "c": ["Jarvis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "I knew that was him!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Mike, you win this, you will get the best sex you've ever had in your whole life.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Well, this is my sickness!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "You suck. You're welcome, sweetheart.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "It's like watching porn.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "That's why.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "You know, we, as a group, are not the coolest.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "The One In Barbados"}, {"t": "Do you have anything that will get us out of them?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "He's been in Minsk for eight years. If he gets too much direct sunlight...he'll die.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "It's a blanket, Joe, not a cloak of invisibility.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "There are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "That never happens.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I dig you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Dude, it's just Days of Our Lives. There's no 'the.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "What's all your furniture pointed at?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "That's the same as, 'It has something to do with wind.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Mike? Who's Mike?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "That's a blast from the past, huh?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "She does?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Well, at least you took me down with you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You just did it again. Chandler. Your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Or Joey...for advice about pizza toppings or a burning sensation when you pee.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, because his penis was too big.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. That's the kind of thing I do.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding, but...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I'm pretending to read here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You really should have been more clear about that.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah. She never misses these conferences.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You could say, 'Hey, Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You got yourself a very weird deal.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I wasn't gonna swim. I was gonna dig a hole.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "because you are pink with barely controlled glee.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I did! A penis one!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "It rains all day long and nobody watches TV, and Ross is famous.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Not Joey. No.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I was just lusting after Chandler.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "That's one-seventieth of a carat. And the clarity is quite poor.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Are you leaving the Supremes?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You know? It's every girl's dream.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Roseannadanna.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "The chocolates aren't here. Damn it!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Secret teapot.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "'Nude Pictures of Anna Kournikova.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "She's never even won a major tournament.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Well, I tried Billie Jean King, but...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You know, you and Monica have the same I'm-gonna-kill-you look.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I don't think your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Ooh, ooh. Any chance any of this happened in a galaxy far, far away?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I can't hear through all this damned hair!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in the humidity?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Aw, I hope you're happy too, honey.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Meddler! Meddler!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "This vacation sucks!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "And that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Well, in that case, should I make sure it's on real good?", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Actually, I did it, Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I love you.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Hey! High-five!", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "'Hi. Just dropped by to say your wife's gay.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Me neither.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Not enough pills in the world, Rach.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "and I'm sunburned. From, you know, the rain.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "'Uh, Phoebe, um, I would be honored if, uh, uh...' Spit it out, David!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "It's David, actually.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "It's the humidity!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Well, that's fair, you've had a long trip.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Kind of steps on the toes of what I was going to say.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "All right, but after this, I want to see you outside. If the rain stops.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I wouldn't brag about that, big guy.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Ha-ha.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "It was a good trip.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Because of our meddling! All right?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Hey! Remember when I had corneas?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "She's all leathery and wrinkled. I'm so jealous!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Not to mention Coldsaurus.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You're kidding, right?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Okay, now we're just holding hands.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, I better not find you naked in my hotel room.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Look, I took it too far.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You've got it going on.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "And while I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I punched you. And? Phoebe. And? I clunked your heads together.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "So we're just four losers. Super.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "This scar? That's from Pictionary.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God, there's two of them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Weather bitch.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Well, hey!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "George! Who? Curious George!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "He had a paper route.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "This is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Knock that dog off her head.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I sleep with him!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You should look in the mirror before you call yourself that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "'Serve the ball, chump.' Okay, better comebacks, Mike. Better comebacks.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Well, get out!", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "I knew that was him!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Go! Go! Go!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Well, this is my sickness!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Okay, we're taking that paddle home, mister.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "But you suck.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "It's like watching porn.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "When did you stop sucking?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "That's why.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "You know, we, as a group, are not the coolest.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "The One In Barbados (2)"}, {"t": "Oh. The way you crushed Mike at Ping-Pong was such a turn-on. You wanna?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired. - I'll put a pillowcase over my head. - You're on.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Well, Mike's taking a shower, which, by the way, there's no law against.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "[THUD ON WALL]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "This morning I heard him do pushups and then talk to his triceps.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Dr. Geller! - God, you're amazing. I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.", "c": ["Charlie", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Oh, that tart! Floozy! Giant!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "This is none of our business. I'm not sure it's the best way to hear everything. Get me a glass!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "No, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "I can't believe I'm kissing you. - Ha, ha. I'm kissing Rachel! - Ha, ha. I know. I'm her. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I love how thin these walls are!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? - Ah, who am I to talk? Ha, ha.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "No one is manning that wall! - I'm on it!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "You realize that's your brother. - Not until you said it. Somebody switch!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "That's not true. I came with Monica, I'm leaving with Weird Al.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow I'm going to the salon. - Okay, Buckwheat.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "You gotta hear this, it's great! It's like free porn.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Oh, is it because of what might be on the bed? I saw that report, with the infrared...", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Grandma, Grandma, Grandma.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Honey? If you know it through a wall, you know it too well.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "I love you... Paradise Hotel Golf Resort and Spa.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Other wall, people! Other wall!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "That's not nonchalant! - No idea what it means.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "There's no room under the bed...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "I don't believe this. - Have you guys been...? - Shh! This is the listening side of the wall.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "What is this? Well, let's see. We kissed for 10 minutes... and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "You're a pain in my ass, Geller.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Will you do one thing for us, the people that care about you? - Sure. - Enunciate.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Six years? Wow. That's almost as long as high school.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "[GASPS] [RACHEL'S VOICE] Your lips are so soft. Do that again. [JOEY GASPS] - Yeah, we need to talk to Ross. Yeah.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament. What are you gonna do with it? Learn about Jesus.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Stop it. Ph.D. You're filthy.", "c": ["Ross", "Charlie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "I think I can see your scalp. - Ha, ha.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yeah, you got shellfish in your head.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "You never said that in your life. - Not once.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "What do you know? It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's almost as if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Wish I could switch. I really don't want to sit with Allen Iverson over there.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Um, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seat belt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Oh, you're not good at this.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "You have a girlfriend? - Yeah. Well, when you and I broke up, I started seeing someone. - Well, for how long? - Three months.", "c": ["Joey", "Charlie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll sign for it, tear it open. Pull out the packing material... - We'll have sex. Let's leave it there.", "c": ["Charlie", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "He's in a good mood after the flight attendant says 'duty-free.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Still nervous? I'm gonna get the lasagna.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "What? Ha, ha. What? Ha, ha. What would give you that idea? - I saw you. - Yeah, we kissed.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "I've known Chandler longer, so I think of him as my best friend. But now... I may have to rethink some stuff.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "What, are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "I didn't want him to get mad and take them back. I'm gonna edge out Chandler!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "You can't do that. Oh, come on, Mike, strap on a pair.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while, just FYI.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Her name's Precious? Is she a pure breed, or did you pick her up at the pound? Ha, ha.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "And if she gets upset... just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snap.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Mike's ex-girlfriend, Phoebe? The love of his life? That Phoebe?", "c": ["Precious"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "What are you singing? - It's 'Bolero' from 10. It's 'Ride of the Valkyries' from Apocalypse Now.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Did I? Let's refresh. I believe what I said was that I could see your scalp.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "As I recall, Rachel said she had never noticed the shape of your skull before. And Joey? Well, Joey didn't realize there was anything different.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Get yourself in the tooth? - And the eye.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Did she give you a bottle of antidepressants again to use as a rattle? That was one time, Ross, and they were only, like, five milligrams.", "c": ["Ross", "Mrs. Green"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Why? Why me? Because you took 300 bottles of shampoo?", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Susie... Can I call you Susie? My name is Precious. I can't say that.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Precious"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Damn it, woman! Pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God! Okay, not a fan of the tough love.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Mike's kind of a wang.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Well, I was dancing around and singing 'No Woman, No Cry'... and, um, I got stuck.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Some of these look a little frayed. - Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go: 'I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry.' Yeah, because that's what we do.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Good night. - Stop saying good night.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "She's an FBI agent posing as a beauty contestant!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}, {"t": "Ross's extended awkward silence after learning about Joey and Rachel, followed by his quietly asking to close the door", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky... because, really, I'm fine.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I mean, at first I was like: [shocked reaction face]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Calm ourselves?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food... because I'm making fajitas!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "There's a hair in my coffee.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "It's funny, every time you say 'triplets'... I think of three hot, blond 19-year-olds.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Drink your hair.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "That's not really how it works. / Oh, how does it work? / I don't know!", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Well, that's Frank Jr. Jr... pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "It's like hugging fresh cookies.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Oh, no. He's just trying to pull my shoulder out of it's socket. No, it's fine. After I black out, he tries to put it back in, so....", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "'Willing to adopt triplets?' No.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Feel me up? / In a carriage.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "You want to say feel me up, don't you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "And, oh, you're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. I'm just kidding. I know Rachel. I know....", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "She's a keeper.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Underwear, a toothbrush... and a Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "What? Fine? Because I am. Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't--? You see? Who else is fine?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I haven't slept in four years.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "What do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on? I got no more hands to protect my area.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "You can't separate them, that's terrible! Which one?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "So a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I think I just had a tiny orgasm.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "You want me to wash my hands first, don't you? / Please. It's just so pretty and white.", "c": ["Chandler", "Colleen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Can I adopt you?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "In fact, my father was a den mother.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I'm adopted?", "c": ["Owen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I got nothing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I said... you're a doctor. A doctor. Hey, doctor, my arm hurts. Can you fix it for me?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "So you're not gonna fix my arm?", "c": ["Owen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "We could all go on your boat. / Actually, Ross, I sold the boat two years ago. / Oh, no. Idiot!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "You know what, this is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Fajitas! Be careful! Very hot plate! Very hot! / Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "That is gonna hurt tomorrow.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Alice would never go for it. / She's pretty tired too. I think we could get her on board.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "What's green and says, 'Hey, I'm a frog'? / A talking frog.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "She's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "She's gonna be a doctor or a realtor.", "c": ["Frank Jr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Wow, Frank, I think we just ran out of kids.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "How about tomorrow? / Well, that's not good.", "c": ["Frank Jr.", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Oh, crap, don't wake up! Don't wake up!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, where's my purse? No, I can replace everything in there.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "See? Intuitive. / What? Where did you hear that? / He told me. / And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell.", "c": ["Chandler", "Colleen", "Owen"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Which, technically, now you should give back.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. 'Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks Santa is real.' / He isn't?", "c": ["Monica", "Owen"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "What country did you get him from?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "L-O-V-E. Love. L is for 'life.' And what is life without love? / Oh, my God, are we supposed to answer?", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "O is for: 'Oh, wow!'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I don't even know what that's for.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I guess I made Tater Tots.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Ross, oven mitts!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago soundtrack.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "You're Ross and Rachel.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "No, that was-- That was just for me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "How would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The One Where Ross Is Fine"}, {"t": "Hey, Chandler, why do you think they call it foosball?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Know what I like about you, Joe? You're curious.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "It's okay.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "You have to appreciate their uniqueness. Really? No, I do six things.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "You mean like this?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "No, not like that. No, no. No, like this:", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I see what you mean. That's quite nice.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Hey, stop staring at my wife's legs. No, no. Stop staring at your sister's legs.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Did I say spray-on tan places? I meant surf contest. Which she won.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Chandler gets pedicures!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "What? You do? Like, with the toe separators?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Why? Why?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Sure, then you should get a miniskirt so you can really show it off.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "So do you get colors or just French tips?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Hey, I know where this place is. It used to be an X-rated video-- Florist.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Monica, darling, it's Amanda calling.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Are you trying to do a British accent?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Chandler gets pedicures.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your mobile. If you didn't wanna get me on my mobile, then don't call me on my mobile.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I slept with Billy Joel. All right, who hasn't?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Have you ever done that? No. Had it done to me, though. Feels good.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Puerto Rican. Two. I think a two.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Well, I have a Ph.D., so....", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three-- Wait, wait! I'm not-- I'm not finished counting!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Mississippi? I said count to five. Mississippi-less-ly?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I'm a four? Yeah, but your back's a zero. You'll wanna even that out.", "c": ["Ross", "Worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall. How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "My eyes!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "The same thing happened again! You got two more twos? I'm an eight!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Guess we won't be going back there.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Hey, what do you say we move this onto the likes of the couch?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I say cheesy line, but okay.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I don't get it. Chandler loved it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Was that good for you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting's a gas.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "You're from Yonkers! Your last name is Buffamonteezi!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Okay, don't hold thy breath.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Well, in America, you're just an ass.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I get pedicures.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Fine. Fine. You would not hold up well under torture.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Oh, and you would? I did.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Nine? What kind of 9-year-old girl wears a bra? No, no. I was 9. See, she was 16.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I can't talk and work at the same time!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Sorry.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I could do it with one hand. I could do it with my eyes closed. Once I just looked at one...and it popped open.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "It's a standard-issue bra clasp.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Then I blame you. Yeah. That's right. You threw me off with all your slapping.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "No, I don't have another level.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Was that place the sun?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you can do a duet of 'Ebony and Ivory' all by yourself.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "How do you count to five? One, two, three-- Damn it!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "You don't know.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "What do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident? Are you kidding? I love it!", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Touch my abs. I don't exercise at all.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Oh, smell my neck. It's not perfume. It's me. It's my natural scent.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Musty.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Well, it was 1992. And I remember, because that was the year I had sex with Evel Knievel.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Nope.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. Now. Yeah.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Okay, you're scaring me a little bit.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Yeah, baby! I'll show you how we do it!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "You kneed me in my misters!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Soldier down.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I had a very bad car accident.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "My flat is twice this size.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "You know, they asked me to be one of the Spice Girls.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "You look positively ghastly.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Well, aren't you a treat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I am scrappy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "That's because I'm scrappy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Can you believe it? I've never had any professional dance training.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Does it look like this is my first time?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Now, I want four two's, and I want them all on my back.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Wait. There's two sets of nozzles! Which one is it? Which one is it?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Oh, son of a bitch!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "How did we do? I'm a twelve.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "That fake British woman's a real bitch, but she sure can dance.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "If felt like, 'I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I can tell from your expressions that's the good news you were hoping for.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "If not, we'll just be a couple that never has sex. That's a plan.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I guess they weren't as good friends as we are.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Yeah. I'm not going anywhere for a while.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. Let me in.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Really? Did you count Mississippi-ly?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "You're not tan. No. I just had to get a picture of this. I'll see you later.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "The One With Rosss Tan"}, {"t": "Gee, if only she were 1 and had no idea what the hell a birthday was.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I promise I won't do any magic.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "When Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday... our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built... to escape the ant people.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "That's the hope.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I said, it's still naptime.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "What? What? It's for her hot friends.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "When they see this, you'll be 52. And starting to think about settling down.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Yeah, but for a 1-year-old. What's the point? The other day she laughed for an hour at a cup.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it, dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow, and the cow says, 'El-moo.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Man, that's a funny cup.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "She was probably up all night excited about the party she knows is happening.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Are you frigging kidding me, Greene?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard... we had to take him to the emergency room.", "c": ["Judy Geller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "There's something you didn't know about your dad.", "c": ["Judy Geller"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Which one are you?", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out, and that'll wake her up.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "So you're gonna hit on her?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Or you could stick a fork in an apple.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Riding the Storm Out: Coping With Postpartum Depression.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly Books. Printed... in Mexico.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I was not ready for this today.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Maybe the actor Richard Crenna. He played the commanding officer in Rambo.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Sex and the Single Mother... Finding your G-spot.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "This message could be coming to you... from beyond the grave, Emma... After all, my parents died very young.", "c": ["Jack Geller", "Judy Geller"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Remember, Emma, heart disease kills women too.", "c": ["Judy Geller"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I used to hitchhike there when I was a kid.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "They put my baby's face on a penis!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Now it's a party!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Is it okay that I still think it looks delicious?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "The resemblance is uncanny.", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Ironically, that was the Maxim thing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby's face off the penis... so we could put it on the bunny. That is a weird sentence.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "To be fair, this one does have nuts.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "It was nice of her to pull my hair... till I dropped the key.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Are you still enjoying your nap?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "We used to be married. But then we missed a weekend away together, and things kind of unraveled... because of you.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I can't believe I taped over my Big Brother audition for this.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "You'll tell us on Monday.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Get the hell out of here!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.", "c": ["Jack Geller"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "No, he didn't. He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "You do know I can just turn them the other way around, right? Oh, I forgot you used to live here.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I got it.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Okay, 10. Okay, Monica picks 10. I call nine.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "That's a bear! I'm too excited!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I bought you! How did I forget that that's all you do?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "They left.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "You're such a good driver.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Hey, get out of the road, you stupid student driver! They have to learn.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Well, I just made these two things cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I, apparently, can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Did I teach her that? Did I just impart wisdom?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "There's no one around. Why don't we just take this one? And head to Canada.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "I just felt so bad missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "No! No science camp!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "What is wrong with me? It looked more delicious when it was a penis.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "Go! Go, Alan! Run, you hairy bastard!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "The One With The Cake"}, {"t": "And for the record, I've also never given her frosting from a can.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "It's just that we don't think of you as really being so much with the words.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "[BABBLING] Clearly, we were wrong.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Dear Baby Adoption Decider People...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "and we're gonna have sex in a public restroom.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "That's where people make number two.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "You gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalog.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Still sharp as a tack.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Yes. Yes, you did.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "You are not good.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Hey, your English is getting better.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "She may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "What did I just say?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Look out, ladies! Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "No, I was talking about your bedding.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "It's his dad.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "God, we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Sometimes just nodding is okay.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "I'm gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr. Right.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "It's my anniversary.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "It's our anniversary.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "It's the worst way to propose.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "It's the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "They are humid, prepossessing Homo sapiens with full-sized aortic pumps.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Baby Kangaroo Tribbiani.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Your full-sized aortic pump.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "I'm Erin Brockovich.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "But Erin Brockovich had her own house.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Oh, sweetie, you can't pull this off.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "I'm curvy and I like it!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Word.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Did I just say, 'If I were a guy'?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Plus, he'd never suspect it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "That's interesting, since she died seven years ago.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "I don't think that's what this is.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Listen, I couldn't help but overhear, because I was trying to.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Doesn't it make her nose look smaller?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Why, did something happen to his falafel cart?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Please tell me those are clip-ons!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "I am going to be a baby stylist.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Enter Amy.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "No more falafel for you!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Well, if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Well, that's not very enlightened.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "No, my mommy and daddy aren't home right now.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Ass and face.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "She was. Carbs found her.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Obviously, you have balls.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "There's no one else in the world I would ask to marry me three times.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls!", "c": ["Random fan"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "It's almost as if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "The One Where Rachels Sister Babysits"}, {"t": "I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this huge engagement ring.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "To Phoebe and... I want to say 'Mike'?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Give it to one of your other single girlfriends. I would, but you're the last one.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "'Guy in Van'? Oh, my first love.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "What does the red X next to Bob Gremore's name mean? Dead.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Oh, it's okay. No, he was old. Yeah. And he lived a full life. He was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "I should've given you guys my black book when I got married. Although, it wasn't so much a book as a napkin.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "With Janice's phone number on it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band? Oh, yes, they are.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Hell, you weren't there. All the ideas were mine.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "[IN OLD MAN'S VOICE] I'm old. [YAWNING] Huh, I'm tired, huh? [IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, I am hot. I'm cold, huh? Come on, what can't I do?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "First of all, bravo.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things, or professing...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Oh, what's the product? Software that facilitates inter-business networking e-solutions. I'm cold.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "I'll give you a hint. He's looking right at you. Huh, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt...", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "including five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score, or anything. Five.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "It'll be the first time my name is in there... without people raising serious questions about my work.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "He does have a pretty serious latex fetish. We'll see how dinner goes.", "c": ["Charlie", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "I just happen to have my label maker. [CHUCKLES]", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Who's Gladys? [GASPS] Oh, what a tragic loss.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Oh, what, you don't like her? Heh, of course I do. What's not to like?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Damn it, I did not think this through.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor. Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "And that's something they should learn on their own.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Joey, for God's sake, go to work. [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C-3PO?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Well, I am having a good hair day.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "[CLEARS THROAT] Ahem, I'm okay.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Oh, it's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long... I've been an admirer of your work. I mean, that Nobel Prize, uh, whoo!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Oh, well, uh, likewise. Uh, not likewise. I'd never heard of you until this morning. But it's nice to be nice.", "c": ["Benjamin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Do you remember the night? Oh, my God. I completely forgot. I can't believe they let us back in this place.", "c": ["Benjamin", "Charlie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "You weren't there. Ha, ha. No, but, you know, it's just a funny image.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Well, yes and no. Yes, I did say it. And no, I didn't not say it.", "c": ["Benjamin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "If you say, yes, then I'm serious. If you say, no, then I'm joking. No. Joking it is.", "c": ["Benjamin", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "So you gotta pick your battles.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "In her house? I am so jealous.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "No, but I want to. But I don't want you to. But I insist. But I insist harder.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "No, no, that's okay. You won fair and square. I'm so sad.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "But, uh, my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me? I'm not lying to you. I watched it. Ah, you lied again. I did. Keep going, Pinocchio.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday? What? I... Uh. Care to venture a guess? May 12? That's not even kind of close.", "c": ["Benjamin", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit... was later covered by a popular British Invasion band? [MOUTHS] What?", "c": ["Benjamin", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "What? I need six graduate students. No, I'm sorry. We were looking for 'Baby It's You.'", "c": ["Ross", "Benjamin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Spell 'Boscodictiasaur.' Um, I've never heard of a 'Boscodictiasaur.' Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.", "c": ["Benjamin", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "B-O... No, it starts with a silent M. Oh, come on!", "c": ["Ross", "Benjamin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "But you are a liar. What did I just say?", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about lying... Stop lying.", "c": ["Chandler", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Ichiban. Ichiban, lipstick for men.", "c": ["Joey on TV"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape. He really is a chameleon.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Oh, she is so nice and big.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, and you can get rid of that French poster. I like that poster. Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Really? There is just, uh, one small stipulation. I have to break up with Charlie? Hey, you got one right.", "c": ["Benjamin", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "You're crazy. Crazy or romantic? Crazy. Or? Get out!", "c": ["Ross", "Benjamin"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Joey, what is this thing doing here? I got her from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "But it's an original Buffay. All right, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Well, legend has it, Joey, that she comes alive when you're asleep. She climbs out of the frame... and then drags her half-a-body across the floor... just looking for legs to steal.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "And then with her one good hand... she slowly reaches up... and turns your doorknob. Get that legless witch out of here!", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "She's mine. She's mine. She's yours. She's yours. Hey. She's mine. She's mine.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Whoever doesn't get Gladys, gets Glynnis.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.88, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Now what do you say? Lying is wrong. And? And? I'm a pretty little girl.", "c": ["Rachel", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Who was the voice of Underdog? Well, if it's like the Lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O... Damn it.", "c": ["Benjamin", "Charlie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "I think about you all the time. Do you ever still think about me? No. Yes. What?", "c": ["Benjamin", "Charlie", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Okay, that's it, we are seeing other people.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "Gladys? [SCREAMS]", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "For the third time this week. Man, this does not get old. You're mean! Oh, don't be such a baby. Please. [SCREAMS]", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "The One With Rosss Grant"}, {"t": "I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "I'm responsible for just like half of that", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Maybe you do that next time you get married", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "No, no, no, the next time's going to be Hawaii at sunset.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "But maybe the time after that", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "\"We\"?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "You can't have it both ways!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "\"Little people\"? \"Celebrity\"!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "I don't and I'm offended by the insinuation", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Okay, so there's not a magazine under the couch or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank. or a filthy video in the VCR", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "I admit to the cigarettes and the magazine but that tape is not mine", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "I guess we'll never know whose it is", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Well, I think you're going to appreciate the crap out of this one", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Not necessary - Buffay is spelled B-u-f-f-a-y", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "And X is spelled Mike Hannigan", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh, look, we get this free T-shirt. Uh, actually that's the shirt I wore to the gym", "c": ["Mike", "Charity worker"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Um, it's moist", "c": ["Charity worker"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Like I said, I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "And it was uneven for weeks", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "And you made it 'through' that?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "I wonder who's going to play you in the movie.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "And I was thinking Claire Danes", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour, okay? and there's this moment when you're at the top, you just don't know if you're going to return back to earth!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Space 'is' filled with orbiting children", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. That's the same, I'm sure there are 30 different species of poisonous swings", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Hello, is this the creepy residence?", "c": ["Unknown visitor"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "I told you I am not coming to a naked wedding!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "well, radiant!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "You know, I was just there for jury duty. They've really spruced that place up", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "That's way more important than some stupid kids", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "That's sweet, honey but save something for the adoption lady", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Rach, she's got like three hairs - I know, I know but they're just so beautiful", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh my God, I just pulled one out", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "We're seriously asking for the money back?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Alright, now. Is this guy gay or straight? Cause one of us's going to have to start flirting", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Gay, go!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh my God! I love your shirt", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "This feels really good", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "We've really been spoiling the children with all the food and warm clothing", "c": ["Charity worker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "And I, and I spent my sweet 16 being chased around a tire yard by an...escaped mental patient, who, in his own words,'wanted to kill me' or whatever.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "She could've been talking about either one of us", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "We love kids Love'em to death Well, not actually to death. That's just a figure of speech", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "We love kids the appropriate amount As allowed by law", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Because we should get a baby before them! That guy tried to sell me drugs!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "But other than that, wholesome, wholesome building", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Rat Bastard!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh, God, no! No, no, no, no. No! Nope...... No, no, no, no....", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Hello Anybody in there ordered a celebrity?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh, that's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here He's great with kids though", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh, relax! I didn't say the F word.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "I know what this is all about. You've always been jealous of my hair", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "If you hold the spider. What? Where? Where? \"IF\" you hold a spider.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "A.....doption!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Keep on roaming, Bert! We don't want any crazy today!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. He has a caretaker, his older brother. Ernie", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Bert and Ernie? You can't make this stuff up!", "c": ["Social worker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh, it ended okay. One of my friends shot him", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really~ long time.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, you're more than welcome to look under any of the furniture because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "We don't have a code word! We don't? We really should", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "From now on, Bert will be our code word for danger.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Some people don't get him but I think he's really funny.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "I forgot my bat.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "And we don't want to buy your bat!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Bert, Bert, Bert.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Probably you don't even remember my name! It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours because I totally remember it Lady", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "No, don't try to turn this around on me, okay? I am not some kind of....social work, okay? that you can just....do", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Joey, wait! No! I waited a long time. I can't wait any more", "c": ["Social worker", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Boy, you people are nice and I've got to say I think you're going to make excellent parents", "c": ["Social worker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Are you here to take more money? Because I think what you're looking for is an ATM", "c": ["Charity worker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "On behalf of the children of New York, I reject your money", "c": ["Charity worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "And when you do, make sure you ask for Brian. Oh, is that you? No", "c": ["Charity worker", "Mike"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Have you seen Joey's bat?", "c": ["Unknown neighbor"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "I got a spider There were two. I picked the bigger one", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "You know what? I'm actually getting used to this little guy I don't really even feel him in here any more That's because it's on your neck", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Ross!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "The One With The Home Study"}, {"t": "Don't you put words in people's mouths. You put turkey in people's mouths.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "This is Emma's first Thanksgiving. - No, it's not. - It's not? When was she born?", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "What? You are way off, lady. - Am I? Really? Am I?", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "That's my favorite kind. Okay, we are doing this.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Stay out of this, Chandler. This is between me and me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Did you not watch the Dr. Phil I taped for you?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Happy Meatless Turkey-Murder Day.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Two minutes, twelve pies and a part of one tin.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "This dinner is gonna be so great. In your face, last-year me.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Well, let's see, uh, I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer... and then she has to make a very big poop.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "And compared to Emma, she's a real dog.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Agh. Phoebe, all babies are beautiful. - Oh, okay.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "And a thousand dollars. ...is something I'm very interested in.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "He still believes that what's on the inside is important.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Take the clothes off Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid!", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Did someone drop the baton again? Why come all the way from Kansas to do that?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I don't get older, I just get better.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Next year, it's gonna be you, me and little Hemingway Bing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "What? He's my favorite author. - Name one of his books. The Firm?", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't have to do everything Dr. Phil tells you to do.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I'm serious, let me do something. Just not the turkey. Nothing high-profile.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "It's easy to make, and no one really cares about it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Not with soap!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Three tickets to today's Rangers game! - Dude, I wanted him to guess.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Guess where they are. - Center ice. Did I do something to you?", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Dude, two times that happened!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Or should I say 'Chan-berries'?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "That's some gentle comedy, dude.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I've been watching this guy over there. I don't think he came with a kid.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I just saw a 1-year-old run around with pantyhose on.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, I know. We should've been more prepared.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "My God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms. Hello, Michelin Man.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Rachel, the hottest babies in the tri-state area are in this room right now.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "All right, let's give these babies something to cry about.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "No, I'm not letting you put makeup on my baby. - Why not? - Because I already did.", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh! You bum! Get off the ice! - You suck! Get off the ice, you idiot!", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "But I gotta say, I am really enjoying nacho chair.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "When I was here for 'Holidays on Ice'... I was sitting so far away, Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "They've ruined Cranberry Day.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "We were at a spelling bee. And I won.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Yes. Y-E-S. Yes.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Grand Supreme Little Darling, New York Division? That's me. Heh.", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "She won a thousand dollars. - So this is an annual thing?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "That's Alicia May Emory's outfit!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "And, Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia May.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "We'll say that we were mugged. You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Good. But you don't look like you were mugged. No. Here.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "It looks like Joey has a giant hand.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, they are in for a world of pain.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I got mugged, and they stole my pocket.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Or we could plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I hate that thing. It's like a bolt of lightning.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Ha, ha! I win. - What is that? - That's fire. It beats everything.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Well-played, Phoebe Buffay. Well-played.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "When they're having sex on the couch, it's like: 'Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy!'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "That's a lie! You went to the game. I can see Joey's hand.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "For the love of God, take it off!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "How are we gonna decide who gets this? - Water balloon!", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, it's Brussels sprouts! That's worse than no food.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Ha, ha! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts. Stinky?", "c": ["Monica", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be with them either... but it's Thanksgiving, and we should not want to be together together.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Ugh, enough! A monkey could've made them.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "He's doing that weird eye-contact thing. Don't look at him. Don't look at him.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "The floating heads do make a good point.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Pies. Oh, we thought you said 'prize.' Here.", "c": ["Rachel", "Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "It's a day to be thankful. - Don't make me come up there!", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "That would be a lot more convincing if you weren't drooling. - Ew, is that what that is? - Sorry.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "The three of us? - Yeah. You, Chan and the vein.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. I'm stuck. - Joey, that is not gonna work. - No, seriously. Unh. I'm really wedged in here.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "It's a little late for that.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Can you ever feel your ears? Interesting.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, I left them on my bulldozer.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I left them at the park.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him. I stuffed Brussels sprouts down his pants.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Now, when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The vein has spoken.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Stop putting things down my pants.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Look! Look! Look what the... Look what the floating heads did!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I don't care.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid. I know. Have you considered pageanting?", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I went through the exact same thing with Alicia May Emory. The waiting, the wondering. Then one day, I get that call from Toys'R'Us. She was in stock.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "That is the exact same thing.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "And so incorrect.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "I could develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "So we're standing firm on 'not getting our hopes up'?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna go get me a baby!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Screw it. I'm gonna be a daddy!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "I wanna say, 'Someone I'm gonna have sex with.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Mandy, huh? Really hot blond, big boobs?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Might be why I don't remember, huh?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Do you think I'm someone else?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "And for the one week that we went out... he didn't sleep with anybody else.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Growth.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Sarah! Sarah.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Well, it's-- It's a little low. Pick it up a little.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Now throw it away.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Now I don't know who's running for president or who that NATO guy is... but I do know that you have to get far away from that hat.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "You're wearing the same shirt.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Stupid Gap on every corner!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "It's like, 'Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Well, obviously.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "That's what our friends call us.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Let her finish, doctor.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Sarah reaches over and takes some fries, then...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "That's a good way to lose some fingers.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, no!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "You wouldn't let her have a grape? Not me. Emma.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Joey doesn't share food!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "And some mozzarella sticks. What were we talking about?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Okay, nothing with hair. And nothing with padlocks on it!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Boys will be boys", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "So you're saying... if I wear these pants, I might be getting into hers?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Why do men keep talking to me like this?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "It says, 'Do it.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "And behold, she did adopt unto them a baby. And it was good.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "You are so going to heaven!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "I think we're not wearing the same shirt anymore.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Looks like someone is the ladies!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "God works in mysterious ways.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Your veal chop is 34.95!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Technicality!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Yes, they are my stuffed clams.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "What? What is the matter with you? I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Yes, that's a raspberry coulis.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "I'm so stupid ordering cheesecake, trying to be healthy.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "This is a two-way street.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Stop staring at me!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "I'm not even sorry.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "See? I could be a reverend.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. I actually liked you guys.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "And don't tell her I said this, but the woman's always right.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "God bless you, Chandler Bing!", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Turns out this sweater is made for a woman.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "So why are you still wearing it?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Because it's soft.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "Joey doesn't share food!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "The One With The Birth Mother"}, {"t": "This cake is amazing! My God, get a room. I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time.", "c": ["Monica", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex? Sex. Seriously, answer faster.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, honey. But when she said 'sex,' I wasn't thinking about sex with you.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "It's like a giant hug.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "How about sex or dinosaurs?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, it's like Sophie's Choice.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "I don't know, it's too hard. No, you gotta pick one. Food. No, sex. Food. Sex. Food. Sex-- I don't know! Oh, God, I want both!", "c": ["Joey", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "I want-- I want girls on bread!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "She looks just like a little doll. Oh, no, that is a doll.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Oh, thank God, because that thing's really creepy.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Well, sorry, but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull... just to tell it.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Well, it's a shame that you'll miss the movie... because we were gonna see, you know, either Liar Liar... or Betrayal or An Affair to Remember.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Those are all really old. Okay, then maybe it'll be-- Dude, Where's My Car? What? They're in a car.", "c": ["Chandler", "Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Okay, quick. We gotta find a cab and follow them. Yeah, okay. Let me just grab my night-vision goggles and my stun gun. I got them.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Isn't it? And what about the amazing wanes coating... the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic? And the wiggle woms and the zip zorps!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "This is bringing out a lovely color in you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "I don't know what you mean, giant, talking cigarette.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "If each of you guys would like to pitch in 100 bucks, that would be great.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Why? Who'd you see him with? No one. I'm just saying if we did-- Tell me what you know! No one! Nothing! Mike's a great guy! It was hypothetical! Who did you see him with?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "If only there were a smaller one to clean this one.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Did you think the neighborhood was homey?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Shouldn't we all vote on stuff like this?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "So you want to buy a house in the '50s.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "What if you want Chinese food at 5 a.m.? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains? Or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "No! No, it's not! Don't listen to him. I'm gonna thump you.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Oh, again with the nature. What are you, beavers?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? Because I can stop doing that. I really, really think I can.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "I can't believe Chandler's screwing this woman... but, man, this would be a nice place to live!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "All my life, everyone's always told me, 'You're a shoe!' 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe. You're a shoe!' I stopped and said, 'What if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse? Or a hat?'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "You can see where he'd have trouble.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "You know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J'! Coincidence? That's 'joincidence' with a 'C'!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Look! Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "That had to hurt!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.02, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "No, Mon. You want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Of course it smells bad. You have your head up a turkey's ass.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Unbelievable! Eleven is correct.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "That's not even a word!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "You are mean boys who are just being mean!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four, five months? That's more than most people have in a lifetime. Goodbye.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Dude, he's right there.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "I was gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "She gets tons of catalogs and folds down the pages of things I'd like.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "I think because it didn't involve divorce... or projectile vomiting.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "You don't wanna live in Westchester. That's the worst of the Chesters.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Yeah. I'm even more sorry that phone call didn't come... before I told you about looking through the window.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Yeah, and about this Nancy.... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Not it! Not it! Damn it!", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}, {"t": "Fish. Seaweed. A sunken ship. - Things you find in the ocean.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Yeah. Sorry, boys, this ride's closing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie. You guys just keep getting cooler and cooler.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Oh, God, that's right. I blocked that out.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I'm leaving you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Did I go to this school?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "You're right. By saying 'nice,' I'm virtually licking her.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Thanks to a little something called Helvetica Bold 24-point.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Man, we're gonna rock that Asian Student Union.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "We're called Way/No Way. - No way. - Way.", "c": ["Ross", "Missy", "Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Fresh. Boss. Mint.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I mean, we can get laid any time we want. Totally. - I had sex in high school. - Me too. I'm good at it.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "That's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald... who we can't go out with. - Those are the pacts. And Sheena Easton. But we probably couldn't get her anyway. Maybe not you.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Your hands are shaking. - I know. And I can't stop sweating.", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I know it can be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities... but relax. I'm just like you, only better-looking and richer.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I see what I did there. Okay, okay. I'm writing in my... - Diary. - No, more like a notebook.", "c": ["Joey", "Gene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "If I'm building a house, the plan... isn't called a 'shmooprint'... I can't do that either? In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the...? - Cafeteria? - Yeah, but they're not looking for that.", "c": ["Joey", "Gene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "What? - The strippers and the guys dancing... and, you know, pee-pees flying about.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Oh, okay. I see what you're doing. That's fine. This is all there is. Just tea. Okay. Raunchy.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I've got a big wad of ones in my purse.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "and get an ETA on the pee-pees.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "You put this in your coffee. - A spoon. Your hands. Your face.", "c": ["Gene", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "It's white. - Paper. Snow. A ghost!", "c": ["Gene", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "It's made from eggs. - Chickens?", "c": ["Gene", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I got a kid starting college. I have to get surgery on my knee. You just lost me 10 grand.", "c": ["Gene"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Like, why would there be a ghost in my fridge?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "It's been 16 years, but the air quotes still hurt.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Well, Chandler and I used to make out. A lot.", "c": ["Missy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "And on my turf?!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "That's a lot of stairs.", "c": ["Officer Goodbody"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.", "c": ["Officer Goodbody"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Officer... - Goodbody. - If you say so.", "c": ["Rachel", "Officer Goodbody"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "We didn't know you wanted a stripper, so we got the phone book... and got the first name we could find. - How old's your phone book?", "c": ["Rachel", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "You big piece of eye candy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "She cringed. This is how I look when I'm turned-on.", "c": ["Monica", "Officer Goodbody"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Shocking.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "And it's not like I can take them two at a time.", "c": ["Officer Goodbody"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "dance around in what I can only assume is a child's Halloween costume.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I may have borrowed this from my nephew... but let me assure you, what's underneath is all man.", "c": ["Officer Goodbody"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, did you say 'all man' or 'old man'?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Big surprise. The hunk of beef has feelings.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "The thing hanging in your throat. - Uvula. Then pass.", "c": ["Joey", "Henrietta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Excuse me. That didn't make us sound gay at all.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "It's really nice to see you. Not!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Do not let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Oh, believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.", "c": ["Adrienne"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "That's when I wrote the song 'Betrayal in the Common Room.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "What did you do to my mom?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "For your information, ass-munch... I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I am so not gonna do good on my SATs tomorrow.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "What a line.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago.", "c": ["Officer Goodbody"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I can make my pecs dance. I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks.", "c": ["Officer Goodbody"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "So maybe something in an office.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "I don't think my mom would mind.", "c": ["Officer Goodbody"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "You never know when it's gonna be your last dance.", "c": ["Officer Goodbody"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Oak. Maple. Elm. Birch. I don't know. Types of trees...?", "c": ["Gene", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Buenos d\u00edas. Enchilada. Por favor. Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know any Spanish words.", "c": ["Joey", "Gene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Dude. Dude, I think you're losing it. 'I have fur.' 'I like to bark.' What a dog says.", "c": ["Joey", "Gene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Girls Chandler could never get? - Supermodels.", "c": ["Gene", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "But it was, like, a million years ago. - It doesn't matter. - Why? - Because the night you kissed Rachel... was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Oh, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "No! No! Yes! - You were under the pile of coats? - I was the pile of coats!", "c": ["Ross", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.82, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "You were my midnight mystery kisser?! You were my first kiss with Rachel?! You were my first kiss ever?!", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "What did I marry into?!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "The One Where The Stripper Cries"}, {"t": "Well, apparently stabbing Iceman in the exercise yard couldn't wait till Monday.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I am pretty 'wisdomous.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I don't want you to see your father cry. Go to your room!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, I don't care. So you pick. Did you just hang up on me?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "You don't know military time? I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.", "c": ["Monica", "Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Okay, so 1800 minus 12... is 1788.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "She will shower when Tibet is free.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I rarely practice my meals before I eat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "That why your hand's against my crotch? - That is why.", "c": ["Mike", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Are you still crying about your damn baby?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "You see these clowns all the time.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Who in God's name are you? I'm not that fond of you either, buddy.", "c": ["Mike's father", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "This is like figure skating team all over again. I mean, synchronized swimming. I mean... I mean, the balance beam.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Help me. - Football.", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I don't have a fax machine. Well, then there are gonna be a few surprises.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "We're sitting here, alone, doing nothing. It's our rehearsal for tomorrow.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "You are going 'downer.'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I wouldn't know. I didn't make it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, a wiseacre. Strike two.", "c": ["Joey", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Hey, unless we move in with you, Dad.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "You only get one more, Mike.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Is that what you say to Chandler?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "It's not important. Well, she's in rehab.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "You're fired! Cheers.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was gonna be corsages.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I've won awards... I printed them out on my computer.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "My God, you're breathtaking.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, you are the lesser of two evils.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "That's why I'm marrying you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Family Honor 2: This A-Time It's A-Personal.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "That must have been one lousy movie. That was me!", "c": ["Mike", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Make 'groom' for Chandler.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "How bad do you wanna stick your tongue on that?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog, Chappy.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I want you to be crazy bitch again.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Since they hired a very hot weather girl.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I crushed a pill and put it in her drink.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "He can sense my fear! My throat is exposed!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Yeah. You think I'd give up being a minister and pay to ride the subway?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but, yeah, we do.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Jeez, Ross. You could've showered. - It's the dog.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I'll be my 'something blue.'", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Could someone get me a coat? I'm frigging freezing.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Come on, Chappy! Do your business! Make!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "The One With Phoebes Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, he's at the doctor's, he didn't poop the whole time we were there.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "which according to my resume, I'm fluent in.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "BTW, how was that year-long dig in Cairo?", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "It was ok.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Oh, you're so sexy. / Seriously, stop or I'm gonna jump on you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Oh hey, when she gets here, is it ok if I introduce you two as my wife and the woman who's carrying my child?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "No? Divorce?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "I want the baby to come out all cute and fat.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "and, you know, there's always some idiot who goes 'Moo'.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "My father had a heart attack... while I was at Barney's.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Still, still, let me come... for me.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Monica, calm, self.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Well, welcome to NYC, or should I say ...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "This baby better be really good.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Ross, please. This is a hospital, ok? That actually means sth here.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Ross, please, don't be so scared of him. / I am not scared of him, I'm really sick. / I'm feeling better.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Oh, wow, that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "No, when you put your feet up on my bed, you tucked on my cathode.", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "What? A heart attack is sitting here talking to you.", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "So what's new with you, huh? Knocked up any more of my daughters lately?", "c": ["Dr. Green"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Nope! Just the one. Rach!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "What are you doing? I have to go before pull your head through a wall!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "I think we solve the mystery of heart attack.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room. / Like I have ever been in Rachel Green's room.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "But we do.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "What taking advantage? I'm giving you the advantage, enjoy!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Haven't had sex in 4 months, I should get a medal for that!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Yeah, you missed a lot when you were mooing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "How is that now? / Well, there is a chance it's another guy.", "c": ["Chandler", "Erica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "I mean, I've only ever been with 2 guys but they sorta overlapped.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "No, he's in prison. / No. He killed his father with a shovel.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "But other than that he's a great guy. / I'll bet his dad doesn't think so.", "c": ["Erica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel killer.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "I'll keep an eye on him. / Easy for you to say. He's a father killer. / He probably loves his mommy.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "He's probably got a tattoo says 'Mom' on the shovel wielding arm.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "See?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Again, you're not SPEAKING FRENCH!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "I gotta say I have not had sex a lot times before, this is the worst ever.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "What? That's right, sex is off the table! I'm never having sex with you again.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "If the baby is a boy, would you name him after my father Jiminy Billy Bob? / Noo. You were right, that was fun.", "c": ["Erica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Oh, God, it's Shovelly Joe, isn't it?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Because the thing she did with the prison guy would be pretty hard to make a baby that way.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Oh, God. What was it? The thing we hardly ever do or the thing we never do? / The thing we never do.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Uh, I am Ugeon Phillogne.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estelloude.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "But my French was good? / It was great. / Merci.", "c": ["Joey", "Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "It's shame though, I mean, when we did it, it was pretty good. / Yeah, yeah, that's true.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Hey, do you remember that one really great time? / Oh, yeah. / You know, it was your birthday... / It was Valentine's day...", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Even if we want it REALLY bad. / That's what WE decided.", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "I hate waste.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Just so you know, with us, it's never off the table.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Dammit, it's never off the table.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "You can drink a GALLON of milk in 10 seconds? / Alright, watch me!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "You did it!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "The One Where Joey Speaks French"}, {"t": "Because every time we do you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "A dinosaur died a million years ago?", "c": ["Chandler", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Try 65 million years ago.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Yeah, do you have any idea what this means in academic circles? I am gonna get laid.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Oh, Italian. No one-- No one wanted seconds, right?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "What are the odds?", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I finally got that seed out of my teeth.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I don't know who I'm happiest for. / I do. He's been working on that all day.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "The Ministry of Names... Bureau.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "You never did it.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "It's just the idea of being an official Bing.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Who am I kidding? Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Call me Mrs. Hannigan. / Mrs. Hannigan? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "No, it's not close. You said it was in escrow. I couldn't even find that on the map.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "No, Joey. Escrow is... There's money, and... It's not the bank exactly. I don't know what it is.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "The only reason I'm going to their stupid house is to point out everything wrong with it so they don't move.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "You're a strange kind of grownup.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "There's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed, and-- / Can we not talk about that now? / All right. Prude.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I bet I could even get Mike to do that thing. What is it?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "It's spelled like 'gucky,' which can be confusing.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I know. With 'gucky.'", "c": ["Hostess"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I'm on a date.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Thank you, JewHunks.com, huh?", "c": ["Boss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I wouldn't call my online dating profile a r\u00e9sum\u00e9.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Whatever happened to just singing for no reason?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Maybe people found it weird.", "c": ["Campbell"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I believe what she's trying to tell you is that I'm her boss.", "c": ["Boss"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Mr. Boss, it is a pleasure to meet you.", "c": ["Campbell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "This place is so depressing. If I had to work here, I'd kill myself. But you obviously haven't.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "See, I need to change it because I'm hiding from the law.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "You're fun.", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Well, not anything. / Yeah. Anything.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Get out of my line.", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Oh, not anymore. I changed it today. / Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan. / Wrong again.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "So meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "That's what we were gonna name the baby.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "No, I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "That is a bad interview.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "And I said, 'Wait a minute. Yes, I am.' And then I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that, in fact, was true.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "You want me to join you? / I thought Joey was here. Five is good.", "c": ["Gunther", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Wow, I'm gonna have a loogey in my coffee tomorrow.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Israeli champagne. And it's vanilla.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. But also knowing it means a lot. But more importantly, to full, well-rounded lives. That center around work.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Little heads-up would've been nice.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "So happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Maybe it's because you hung your head out the window like a dog the whole ride here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I think I just saw a bat in the corner.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I hope you get used to that weird humming sound.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Joey, we know that's you. / No... it's not.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock. / You're kidding, right? / Nope.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Then I'm gonna change my name. / Great. Okay, what are you gonna change it to? / Crap Bag.", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Mike Crap Bag? / No. No 'Mike.' No, just 'Crap Bag.' First name: Crap. Last name: Bag.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "It's fun, it's different, and no one else has a name like that.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "And I love your name. I love Princess Consuela. And I love Crap.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Oh, hi. I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you? / I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.", "c": ["Joey", "Mackenzie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I hate my parents. / I hate my friends.", "c": ["Mackenzie", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Okay, you come with me and you tell them that the house is haunted. / What are you, 8?", "c": ["Joey", "Mackenzie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Okay. Let's hear your great idea. / I don't have any great ideas. I am 8.", "c": ["Joey", "Mackenzie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners.", "c": ["Mackenzie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "How'd you get to be so smart? / I read a lot. / Just when I thought we could be friends.", "c": ["Joey", "Mackenzie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "You still don't know my name, do you? / Well, now I don't have to.", "c": ["Rachel", "Gunther"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. It's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "You know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so....", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Clever.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Screw charity work. What do you got?", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Nice to see you again. / Yeah. Yeah. I got tenure.", "c": ["Mark", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Ross, that's Mark. From Bloomingdale's? You were insanely jealous of him.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Maybe make you his 'sex-cretary.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Man, those two dogs are going at it.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Joey? There was a little girl who lived here, but she died, like, 30 years ago. / What? / I'm just messing with you.", "c": ["Monica", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "That's not funny. You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room, do you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing? / No. / Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "This is my husband, Crap Bag.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "How about Buffay-Hannigan? / Really? / Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Do you even know what a banana hammock is? / It's a funny word. / It's a Speedo.", "c": ["Mike", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Oh, crap.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "The two dogs.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "My time machine works.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Excuse me? / Oh, please. Yesterday, on the subway, you couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts. / For your information, I was staring at her baby.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Yeah, I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Oh, Ross. Come on. He is happily married. His wife just had twins. / Should we send something?", "c": ["Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "The job is in Paris.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "But you know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. Hey, Bailey, I need some career advice.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "The One With Princess Consuela"}, {"t": "Or facing a bitch of a commute.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "No, no, no! No, no, no! No, no, too much is changing, okay? First Phoebe getting married. Congratulations. And then these two move in to a stupid house in the stupid suburbs.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Earlier, you said you'd be supportive. - It comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "No,no.No. No, my hugs are reserved for people staying in America.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Hey! No! Get your France-going arms away from me!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Talking to Ross. - I see.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "How's that gonna happen? Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "The guy who kept calling you 'Ron'? - I didn't say we were brothers!", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "We're not very bright.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin-Robbins.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. - Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "I know. He always wanted to be the first black man to cross the Atlantic.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, right. Don? - Close. Ron.", "c": ["Boss", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "She is good. - Huh. I took a shot there.", "c": ["Boss", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, that's not true. There's nothing I want to do.", "c": ["Boss"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Is this your son? - Yeah, his name is Ross.", "c": ["Ross", "Boss"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "What? - Nothing, it's just that it's close to Ron.", "c": ["Boss", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "I just heard it how you must have heard it, and that's not good.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Let me start again. I'm a paleontologist. You'll be there with us, and the touching refers only to bones-- Fossils!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "He's always reading, collecting rocks and he's obsessed with dinosaurs. - He'll be fine!", "c": ["Boss", "Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "I love that saying!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "It's a little coincidental, but believable.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "I guess I dropped the ball there. Whoopsie!", "c": ["Phoebe as Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Don't take that tone with me. Who do you think you are? Alan Lemon, the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic?", "c": ["Phoebe as Estelle"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Man, tough week for Estelle.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Stop forcing that thing on her.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "I mean, that place must just be falling apart without me!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "[ROSS BABBLING INCOHERENTLY]", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "If we're gonna cheat, shouldn't it be with a hot, younger house that does stuff that our house won't do?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "What a hole! - So, what do you think? - Love it.", "c": ["Monica", "Real Estate Agent", "Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "[MONICA GASPS AND GRABS CHANDLER]", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "A coronary embolism might.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Except for this guy who eats paper. And I'm guessing he eats more money than he makes.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Because patience is the road to understanding. Which is the key to a happy heart.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "You blow me away.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "And that means never having to give a reason.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "What a small world! And yet I never run into Beyonc\u00e9.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin. [LAUGHING NASALLY]", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Why? - I don't know why.", "c": ["Janice", "Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "The only way that that is going to happen is if the other couple are the Hitlers!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "By the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Just the crickets and, 'Oh, my God!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Oh, that does it too.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "What if you could give your son this genuine pterodactyl egg replica.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Believe me, the ladies, they love it. - I meant with my son. - Good, because the ladies, not so much.", "c": ["Ross", "Boss", "Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "I didn't think I should just drop by. - No, no! Don't drop by! Don't drop by! No.No.No.", "c": ["Phoebe as Estelle", "Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "'Out of area.' Boy, I'll say.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "The Hitlers will be so disappointed.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "I never stopped loving you.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "I want you. I need you. I must have you, Janice Litman-Goralnik ne\u00e9 Hosenstein.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Don't dangle the dream and take it away.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "[CHANDLER AND JANICE KISS]", "c": ["Chandler", "Janice"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "They're never coming down now!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "And that I should thank some 'Ron.' I don't even know what department that guy's in!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "You should go. - What? - It's what you want. You should go.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "Dude, where's my speech?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "That is entertaining. Al Zebooker, everybody!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "The One Where Estelle Dies"}, {"t": "All right, Joe, you remember the rules. Heads, I win. Tails, you lose.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Just flip. - Tails! - Damn it!", "c": ["Joey", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "And after I took a shower this morning, I just threw my towel on the floor.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Oh, God, it hurts to even joke about it.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "...and that's the sandwich I made for the plane.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I have nothing left to teach you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "...but your hand's kind of blocking the part where the baby's gonna come out.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "That's because I'm pregnant.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "I'm just always afraid that people think I'm just fat with big breasts.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Okay, well, stop staring at them. - She brought them up.", "c": ["Erica", "Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Plus, hotels are fun! My room has this little fridge full of free snacks.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Erica, those things aren't free. In fact, they have one of the highest markups of any consumer product--", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Ross, she's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Hmm. Packing. Sexy cheerleader comedy. Hmm. Helpful brother. Creepy loner at teen movie.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Try it. I can't feel a thing.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "This is packing? - We're taking a break. From? Jumping on the bed.", "c": ["Monica", "Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Let's put Styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Joey, you pack them, and Ross, you repack whatever Joey packs.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Hey, handcuffs. And fur-lined. Nice.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Chandler, you don't have a sister, so you can't understand...how much this bums me out.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "I once did a naked dance for her with scarves.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Bumming hard, guys. Bumming hard.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "It's kind of like being married to a rock star, you know? My husband has a gig.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Rock on!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Smoked oyster casserole with a breakfast-cereal crust.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "It feels like when Melrose Place got canceled.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "I mean... Ah, forget it, I miss Melrose Place.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Who loses 57 coin tosses in a row? You know?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Heads, she wins. Tails, I lose.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. - Yes, Joe? - I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "You know, in six months, the statute of limitations runs out...and I can travel internationally again.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "If I had to guess, I'd say...Rachel's putting on the bubble wrap, and Phoebe's doing the punching.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Well, it's a cotton swab...with a bit of my saliva on it...so that if they perfect the cloning process while you're over there...you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "I'm gonna throw this away...but thank you so much for the gesture.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, I decided to leave those out for you in case Richard stops by...and you want to engage in a little light bondage and mustache play.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Good luck getting another scarf dance from me.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "That would be a terrible punishment.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Rachel. With handcuffs. Interesting.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Joey's bare ass.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Well played.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Please don't turn into, you know, a French bitch.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Are you wearing waterproof mascara? - No. Oh, you're so screwed.", "c": ["Monica", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "What? [STAMMERING] --See you every day!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Oh, no, she took down Monica. And I'm the crier in the family.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Maybe she won't talk to me if it looks like we're in conversation. - Okay. - That thing you said about the thing...it really made me think about that other thing.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "I really made you think about that thing, huh?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sure gonna miss pretending to laugh at your weird jokes that I don't get.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "I think you're forgetting the kinkiest former resident of that room.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "These are not mine. Look how flimsy they are. Come on. My God, you try to hang a guy from a water pipe with these...they'll snap like a piece of licorice.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "You don't really handcuff guys to water pipes do you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Where do you think Mike really is?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "[IMITATES FARTING] - I'm sorry, give me one more chance. - Okay. [IMITATES FARTING] - Oh! - I'm sorry. Just go. Just go. I can't. I can't.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "You cried yesterday at the 6:00 news. That old woman was being scammed by her mechanic.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "But, God, Joey seems to be handling it surprisingly well. ALL: No!", "c": ["Phoebe", "All"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Lucky bastard.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Well, it needs to be 'plicit.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "The hell I do!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What do I gotta do to get a goodbye? Huh? Be best friends with you? Go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute! I did all those things!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Or maybe I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean, it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, g-- It's physically impossible!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "I thought I was going home to bed...but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "You couldn't be cool.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Good. I need you to be careful...and efficient. And remember, if I'm harsh with you...it is only because you're doing it wrong.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Who's that dirty old lady? Monica's grandmother. Oh, my God. Nana liked it rough!", "c": ["Phoebe", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "I keep getting these stomachaches. They come and go every few minutes.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "She doesn't have a stomachache! She's in labor!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "I cannot believe that after 10 years you do not know one thing about me!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right? There's your goodbye!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "Doesn't work.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "The One With Rachels Going Away Party"}, {"t": "box.. of... crap...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Wait. Should we be doing this? - I don't know. - It's quite not really a good idea. - Probably not.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I love that our baby is prompt!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Did you see the size of the thing that was coming out of that woman?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I couldn't tell who is giving birth to who!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I think that kid was wearing a shirt!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me 'Sex for Dummies' as a joke.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Who's laughing now?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "No, last time you said it like Dracula, and it scared her!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "You can't leave me alone with her. - What? - This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with!", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "You'll be fine. Nah, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "So,... Any plans for the summer?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I don't know. Maybe church-camp?", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Hah. May not wanna mention this.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "One of life's great, unanswerable questions.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Like this..", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "It's a baby chick and duck! - Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. - I did not see that coming.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there. - That is the rule, though.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl. - Have you seen him throw a ball?", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell... but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes...", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Morning! - Guess we'll never know how it ends.", "c": ["Rachel", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Chick and the duck? Didn't they die... - Dive!", "c": ["Rachel", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "it was just the perfect way to say goodbye.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Ross's stunned silence", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Alright. Wow, that is one disgusting miracle.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Well, that's spongy.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that... no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "We only ordered one!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "These are the faces of two people in the know!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Well, gosh. That makes me feel so special and good.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Ah-ha... Join me, won't you?!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "and be reunited I mean, that's a great day for everybody.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "What if it's adopted by a king? - Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of 'Eight is Enough' comes out of there!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Well, now we have one of each! And that's enough!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do? - What? - Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Can't a girl finish a song around here?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? Eight hours with my mother talking about Atkins? Good luck, Emma!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I love you too. Probably not in the same way,...", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "and when I'm in a caf\u00e9, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what might help? - I'm not getting you a muffin!", "c": ["Joey", "Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day, they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Oh my God, that's just like my name! - Son of a gun, it is!", "c": ["Erica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Even Chandler.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "How sweet! Oh, is that the baby? - No, I sat in the paint.", "c": ["Monica", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "How can you compare yourself to Gunther? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "It's... It's a city of Gunthers!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "You know, the baby can't read, Mike!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby... was born with a teeny, tiny beard.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Now, what, what kinds are they? This is a boy, and that's a girl. - Her name is Erica. - Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica! - Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Monica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette: 'I'm gonna blow this story wide open!'", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Well, tell me which one, and I'll try slip it in my coat. Seriously.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "they're gonna really hate me over there.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "They slept together? I was with you!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Why there's an ass-shaped paint stain on my couch?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Just your question, Mike!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "That's okay. If we hit anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "No, you don't understand. This isn't a real cab. - Alright, I gotta report you. What's your medallion number? - My medallion number is: Get out of the cab!", "c": ["Cab Driver", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Without looking under the diapers, can you tell them apart? - Ofcourse I can, I'm their mother! - Ok, which one is that one? - That's Jack.", "c": ["Chandler", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Jack's gonna have a tough time in high school with that vagina!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive? - Yes, she jumped right back up.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Damn, that window is clean.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Oh, great! Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor!", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Oh, tons, I'm quite the woodsman.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie, if I'd gotten the part. 'Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life... my time-machine.'", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Did that movie ever get made? - It did not.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Not since my cop-show got cancelled.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "because that's my bra-size.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I'm so lucky I married you.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! - You're a different person.", "c": ["Rachel", "Gate Agent"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "It's flight 421. Leaves at 8:40. - Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board. - That's what it says here. Flight 421, leaves at 8:40, Newark airport. - What? - Newark airport. Why, where are you? - JFK.", "c": ["Monica", "Ross"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "And we're also gonna buy you tiny, bird hearing-aids.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys, What can I say? You guys... make us... look good.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Good game, good game, good game... good game.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. ... Something is wrong with the left phalange.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Well... - Wait, what are you doing? - Well, I can't take this plane now.", "c": ["Rachel", "Passenger"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "There is no phalange! - Oh my God. This plane doesn't even have a phalange! - I'm not flying on it!", "c": ["Flight Attendant", "Passenger"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Yeah, they were just slowing me down.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "I could get a goose!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "You know, I think you're set with the poultry.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Yes, the phalange is fixed. As a matter of fact, we put a whole lot of extra phalanges onboard, just in case.", "c": ["Flight Attendant"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "This is it. Unless we're on a break.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Don't make jokes now.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": ".. But more important.. .. because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Where?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "The Last One"}, {"t": "Relax, we'll just get her some antacids.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "She doesn't have a stomachache! She's in labor!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Rash! - What?", "c": ["Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "this guy at work gave me Sex for Dummies as a joke. - Who's laughing now? - I am.", "c": ["Ross", "Rachel", "Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Last time, you said it like Dracula, and it scared her.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "You'll be fine. You won't, but I'll be back in two minutes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "So, uh, any plans for the summer? - I don't know. Maybe church camp.", "c": ["Chandler", "Erica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Ha... May not want to mention this.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "So you ever wonder which is worse? You know, going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "One of life's great unanswerable questions.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Maybe there's something even more painful than those things. Like this.", "c": ["Chandler", "Erica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I did not see that coming.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "It's a shame people can't visit there. - That is the rule though.", "c": ["Ross", "Joey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Have you seen him throw a ball?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell. Uh, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Oh. I feel like I'm in a musical. When the sun comes up Bright and beamin' And the moon comes", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Guess you'll never know how it ends.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Chick and the duck? Didn't they die--? - Dive. Yeah, they dove. Headfirst into fun on the farm.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Joey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "It's just the perfect way to say goodbye.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Wow, that is one disgusting miracle.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Well, that's spongy.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I'll love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, who should be along in a what, now?", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "We only ordered one.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "These are the faces of two people in the know.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "They said, 'Both heartbeats are strong.' And I thought, 'Well, that's good, because I'm having a baby.'", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "What do you say we keep one and then just have an option on the other one?", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "We could give each of them half a medallion. And then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Yeah. Because I hear the king is looking to adopt.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I don't care if the entire cast of Eight Is Enough comes out of there.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Is that what a dinosaur would do?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I'm just trying to speak your language.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Eight hours with my mom talking about Atkins. Good luck, Emma.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I love you too. Probably not in the same way.", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I'm not getting you a muffin!", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Unless they're like people who've lived in apartments next to each other for years, then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, that's just like my name! - Son of a gun, it is.", "c": ["Erica", "Chandler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Even Chandler.", "c": ["Erica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "No, I sat in the paint.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's a city of Gunthers.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "You know, the baby can't read, Mike.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Because my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny-tiny beard.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Okay, awkward question. The hospital knows you took two, right?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Jack Bing. I love that. It sounds like a '40s newspaper guy. You know, 'Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open.'", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, tell me which one. I'll try to slip it in my coat.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kind of dull.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "They're gonna really hate me over there.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I don't. I want to be with her. - Really? - Yeah. I'm going to go after her.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "If we hit anything, the engine will explode, so it's better if you're thrown from the car.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "My medallion number is, get out of the cab!", "c": ["Fake taxi driver"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive? - Yeah, she jumped right back up.", "c": ["Ross", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Damn, that window's clean.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Really? You got us a chick and a duck? Oh, great. Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "You stepped on my egg roll? - I'm sorry. I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.", "c": ["Joey", "Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Oh, tons. I'm quite the Woodsman.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Those are our men in there, and we have to get them out even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life...my time machine.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Did that movie ever get made? - It did not.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Not with that attitude. Now, haul ass!", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "because that's my bra size.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "You know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "We're on our honeymoon. - I'm so lucky I married you.", "c": ["Phoebe", "Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "In your face. You're a different person.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "What? - Newark Airport. - Why? Where are you? - JFK.", "c": ["Ross", "Monica", "Ross", "Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "And we're also gonna buy you tiny bird hearing aids.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel...", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Good game. Good game. Good game. - Good game. - Yeah.", "c": ["Chandler", "Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Phoebe! No, no, no!", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left phalange.", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. This plane doesn't even have a phalange. - I'm not flying on it.", "c": ["Passenger", "Another passenger"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "We're getting off. There is no phalange!", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "That was impressive. - Yeah. You didn't even use the tools for most of it. - Yeah, they were just slowing me down.", "c": ["Joey", "Chandler", "Phoebe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I could get a goose!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "You know, I think you're set with the poultry.", "c": ["Chandler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Awkward hug or lame cool-guy handshake?", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Yes. The phalange's fixed. In fact, we've put a whole lot of extra phalanges on board, just in case.", "c": ["Flight attendant"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "I got off the plane.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Unless we're on a break.", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Do you realize we almost made it 10 years without that coming up?", "c": ["Ross"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Where?", "c": ["Phoebe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.82, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Friends", "ss": "friends", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "\"Friends\" The Last One, Part 2"}, {"t": "Would you say that you are enjoying yourself and having fun, having a moderate amount of fun and somewhat enjoying yourself, or having no fun and no enjoyment?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm gonna put 'a lot of fun.' Ms. Knope! There's a drunk stuck in the slide.", "c": ["Leslie", "Background voice"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Sir, this--this is a children's slide. You're not allowed to sleep in here.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "When I first tell people that I work in the government, they say, 'oh, the government. The government stinks. The lines are too long at the dmv.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Visual gag of Leslie trying to help drunk man while giving talking head interview", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Hillary clinton. Sarah palin. Me. Nancy pelosi. We did it!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Get on board and buckle up, 'cause my ride's gonna be a big one. And if you get motion sickness, put your head between your knees 'cause leslie knope's stopping for no one.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "When I go through these doors, I need to be on. Like the white house press secretary.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's locked. Okay. Here we go.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Visual gag of nearly empty meeting room after Leslie's 'amazing turnout' comment", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "We're having a meeting in here.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Well, it's a great day, because, uh, last month they put me in jail. That's right. The, uh, the head of the police is a ninth-degree mason.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Overlapping citizen complaints creating incomprehensible noise", "c": ["Multiple citizens"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "These people are members of a community that care about where they live, so what I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Now, I have a few things I want to say about laura linney.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm ann perkins. Uh, I'm a nurse, and frankly, I don't really care for politics.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "My boyfriend, who is a musician-- actually, I support him-- but anyway, he fell in and broke both his legs.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "This guy-- sounds like he didn't have a lot going on for him to start with, and now both legs broken. He's just weak. You have to take care of him. You probably feel like you need to move on.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Just become more adventurous in relationships with your body, just in-- Are you--are you actually hitting on me right now?", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Oh, oh, god, no. I'm not-- I'm not hitting on you. I'm actually married.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm very comfortable around women, attractive women. I've spent a lot of time with them.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Maybe we can just exchange numbers. You know, maybe go away one weekend and just kind of talk about this.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's more than a promise. It's a pinky promise.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "We will fill in that pit, and then when that's done, we're gonna put a park on the land.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Recently I led a city-wide drive to disinfect the sandbox sand after we had those problems with the cats.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "This could be my hoover dam.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Maybe give my wife a call and give her the suits, and then if they don't fit her, maybe she'll give 'em to me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Yep, we was rappin' about some things.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm a woman, he's A... oh, I think he's a libyan.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I am from bennettsville, south carolina. I am what you might call a 'redneck.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Committees are the lifeblood of our democratic system.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "From time to time, when I think of an eloquent saying or a phrase, I have tom write it down. He's collecting them for my memoirs.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Committees cover our democracy with blood.", "c": ["Tom reading Leslie's note"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "He's kind of like a fixer. He fixes things. He's a smart, capable guy. He just--he knows where the bodies are buried.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "What's up, brendanawicz? You crazy old polish person.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "City hall is like a locker room, and you gotta get in there and you gotta snap towels at people and you gotta give 'em the business, and if you can't take it, you know, you--you-- then you can't take it. You--you gotta leave... the locker room.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I just work right there. Well, thank you for clearing your schedule. Oh, I didn't clear anything.", "c": ["Mark", "Leslie", "Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Is it likely? No, it's not likely, you know. But is it possible? No. It's not possible.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Really? It sounds like you're telling me to go for it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "When you work closely with someone and you share similar interests and you have a similar worldview and you're passionate about the same things, things can happen. We slept together.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Leslie? No. Oh, my god. You know what? Yeah, we did, like five years ago. I'd sort of-- No, but yeah. Yeah. We did.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I think it's probably just a photo op for her. I mean, I don't think anybody in government actually cares about--", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Doorbell! Yeah, I heard it. Doorbell! I heard it. I'm getting it.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Is this fun for you? Yeah, it's so much fun.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "This must be our hero. The man heard 'round the world.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Could you pass me my itch stick?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Imagine a shiny new playground with a jungle gym and swings, pool, tennis courts, volleyball courts, racquetball courts, basketball court, regulation football field.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's really not that big of a pit.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm going in. Why? Don't worry. I have a hard hat on.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's like george bush when he flew over new orleans or richard nixon when he went to china to see what the chinese were up to.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Leslie falling into the pit herself", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Good thing I was wearing that hard hat. But it-- it fell off. After my head hit that rod.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I can't believe you fell in, too. That's awesome.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's not broken. It is. Do you have one of those neck foam collar brace things? Honestly, you're-- you're fine. Oh, honestly, my clavicle's broken.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, baby, if you're going to the kitchen, could you make me pancakes real quick? Uh, sure. Ooh, are pancakes being made? Yeah, sure.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I don't know, she's a little doofy. But she's sweet.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Is that a travel pillow around your neck?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "When you've been down in the pit-- have you been in the pit? No, I haven't gotten down there yet. Well, I have. When you fell in. When I visited the bottom of the pit on a fact-finding mission.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I've been quite open about this around the office. I don't want this parks department to build any parks because I don't believe in government.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely for profit by corporations. Like chuck E. cheese. They have a perfect business model.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "She's insatiable. She's like A... little dog with a-- a chew toy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Hey, kids. That's another good one. Hey, brendanawicz. You gotta come check this out. Leslie took us out to that pit in lot 48 and she fell inside. And we have some awesome photos.", "c": ["Tom", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "The up-skirt photo. Awesome. Hey, man. Give me the photo back.", "c": ["Tom", "Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Leslie is unique. Government work can beat you down. I would say that I lost my optimism about government in about two months. Leslie's kept hers for six years.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "A little trivia-- it is one of the first structures in america to ever have locks.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "We have a lot of children visit, so often we have to cover up the more gruesome parts with a poster.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm barely 34, and I've already landed a parks department exploratory subcommittee. I'm a rocket ship.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Every now and then we have these little gatherings and leslie gets plastered. One time I convinced her to try to fax someone a fruit roll-up.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "She one time made out with the water delivery guy in her office. On halloween, she was dressed up as batman. Not batgirl. Batman.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "And I convinced her to go stop a crime that was going on outside.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Well, I'm getting involved. So I am gonna make a vow now that I will do whatever it takes to get this pit filled in. Even if it takes two months.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "This sawed-off shotgun belonged to a local bootlegger. People who come in here to ask me for things have to stare right down the barrel.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "This is my basketball court. I don't want to see any double dribble. I don't want to see any three-second violations. Bobby knight!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I've been searching for 25 minutes and I haven't found a single egg. And I'm an adult. Oh. Yeah, I forgot to do that.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "She's as respected as Mother Teresa. She's as powerful as Stalin, and she's as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "I know! That's why I fake invited you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "When I was in sixth grade, I was voted Best Dressed by 87 votes. And there were only 63 people in my class.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Tom, you probably won't need any [sunscreen for your beaks].", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "You can't handle the pit. That's why we need to turn it into a park.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Would it change your mind if we told you that... She's gone.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Now, is this park gonna have a playground or, you know, maybe a pool for the kids? Oh, how old are your kids? No kids.", "c": ["Resident", "Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Also, is the park gonna be at least 1,000 feet from my house? Because, you know, I really can't move again.", "c": ["Resident"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "He runs weird.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Could the 4-year-old watch the 2-year-old?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Are you gonna commit to coming to this meeting tomorrow, or are you gonna be a bitch?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Let's blow on each other's faces.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Yeah, don't worry about it, I made it all up.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Survey. We surveyed crystal meth users.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "You don't care about your kids if you don't support this park!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Oh, it's next month, forget about it. Oh, it's tomorrow night.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Am I talking to the two sexiest thighs in landscaping?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "He's our symbol. We'll wheel him around the neighborhood to get sympathy. He's a cute FDR.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "There's a new wind blowing in government and I don't like it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Hey, Vlad! Look at these rocks! Let's pretend they're potatoes! Nikolai! Do you want to swim in the dirt?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "President Knope, this park is awesome. Now we understand why you are the first female President of the United States.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Only for one to 90 days.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Don's cement, It's the best you can get, Don's", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Can you do that? Why? Please, April! This is serious! Can you do that? Probably.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "This is gonna be a train wreck.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "None of them were able to make it tonight, unfortunately. But they totally exist. I did not make them up.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "It's a rectangular lot. It's got excellent drainage.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Lawrence lives with his grandma. Which is pretty awesome. He takes care of her, I guess. But whatever, he's a douchebag.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "I'm in a band. It's called Just the Tip.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "I'm oddly attracted to Kate Spivack.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "twisted him to death", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Filibuster! Boom! They can't touch you if you talk forever.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "blink our feelings to each other, rather than use words", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Hi. Uh, I'm a youth in the community and I think a new park is a great idea. And I fully support it, as would the rest of the youth in the community.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "Hey! I recognize her. That kid came to my door yesterday.", "c": ["Resident"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "You suck. Hear that? He called me 'park lady.'", "c": ["Resident", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "You know, normally, I don't agree with Leslie about anything, but this book is awesome.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Canvassing"}, {"t": "See all the spikes? So, two things. One, it's poisonous. And two, it would hurt.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "For a while, it was a teenage nature hike, but then we changed it because a girl got pregnant.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Leslie eating the honeysuckle despite Jerry saying not to eat it", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Why did you let me eat that? / I never told you to eat that.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Leslie, the animals know you don't eat the country honeysuckle. / I'm not an animal.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "She writes for the Pawnee Journal, which is kind of like our town's Washington Post.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "The press is a weapon and you can use it to kill people or to feed people.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "We had removed five cartoon penises, not even 10%, when we were shut down due to lack of funding.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "To this day, I am haunted by those remaining penises. One penis in particular.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "What? Stay on message again? / Yes, it's that important. It's one and two.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Wait. Did I ever get it?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "This is JJ's Diner, the unofficial meeting place of Pawnee's political elite. The people who eat here basically run this town.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "What about that thing you did for the middle school newspaper last year? / Oh. No. I don't count that. That was a smear job.", "c": ["Mark", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "How you spell your name. / Of course. Because of the silent 'K.'", "c": ["Mark", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "How many discussion questions do you have there? / Um... Thirty. / Wow! You're insane.", "c": ["Mark", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Mark and I made love once. And it was very intense.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Who left the door open? No! No! No!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "And I agree with you. They are nature's bandits.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "I am always amazed at his quiet dignity right before he's killed by a cannonball.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "I'm surprised no one's complained about this. / Oh, tons of people have. Yeah, we get letters every day.", "c": ["Shauna", "Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "No comment. / About what?", "c": ["Ron", "Shauna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Hey, Haverford, maybe one day you'll figure out how to spell a three-letter word.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "I play a lot of online Scrabble with my boss, Ron Swanson, and, oh, my God, that guy is the best. He beats me every time. He kills me. He's awesome. I can't beat him. I should just close my account.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Tom Haverford, boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "That's a weird way to describe me.", "c": ["Unknown - presumably someone reacting to Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "April Ludgate, 19. Cool enough to be invited anywhere and chooses to be here.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Yeah. Good. That way it's verbatim.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. It's actually called a subcommittee, not a committee, so.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Oh. Yeah. That's actually a great story. I just finished up a gig with my band Three Skin, formerly Four Skin, but our bassist left for personal reasons.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "And I thought I saw a toaster lying in the pit. And I was like, 'Maybe I should get that.' And I fell in and broke my legs.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Why would you want a toaster that's lying at the bottom of the pit? / I don't know. I was pretty wasted.", "c": ["Shauna", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Wait. You were drunk? / Oh, yeah. Totally. / You knew that. / I didn't know that, no.", "c": ["Ann", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "You should've told me, because we gave you anesthesia at the hospital. / I was probably not thinking 'cause I had two broken femurs and I was blackout drunk.", "c": ["Ann", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Like you're perfect. You're on the pill. You drink all the time. You're allowed to do that.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Thank you so much for bringing that up in front of a reporter.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Oh, Ann. You're so sweet and innocent and pretty. The press are like sharks, and you guys just dumped a bucket of chum in the water.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "And it turns out that Ann is on birth-control pills.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Do you think I'm in the top five best-looking Indian guys in Pawnee?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "No. / Who do you think's got me beat? That guy Hashish at City Planning?", "c": ["April", "Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "You're worse than my ex-wife, and she's terrible at Scrabble. And she's a bitch.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Her name is Tammy Swanson and she's a serious bitch.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "She got here 15 minutes late. She's wearing the same dress she wore yesterday. And she had to get a ride from...", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "How big is the lot? / I don't know. You tell me. How big is the lot? / A hundred or something. Give or take 100. I don't know. / A hundred what? / I don't know, Shauna Malwae-Tweep.", "c": ["Shauna", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "I just played 'lexicons' for a billion points. / No, no, no, no, no. What? I was letting him win, dumbass.", "c": ["Tom", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Crap on a stick. Okay, technically, yes, it was nepotism. But... Oh, my God. No, it wasn't.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "There was one annoying thing. She and Mark had sex with each other. / You're kidding. / I wish I was, but I'm not. They did it.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Called it. I called that. / You remember that? Yeah. / He did, actually. He totally called that.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "He was probably thinking with the head of his wiener instead of the head of his brain.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "I bet he didn't use a condom. / Andy, God!", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "But you're being a huge dork.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "I accidentally ate an old burrito.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "I'm assuming not Mexican. / Why? / Because of the burrito. / Oh! Yeah, well, it wasn't a Mexican burrito.", "c": ["Shauna", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Can I say over 100%? Because I would be lying if I said less.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Series of increasingly ridiculous quotes about the park never happening, including unicorns, Pope getting married, talking monkeys, leprechauns, and the sun falling out of the sky", "c": ["Shauna reading quotes"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Oh, really? Tell that to a 14-year-old girl. / There are some countries where the Pope can be married. / Really? Have you seen The Wizard of Oz? / Leprechauns exist.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Mark Brendanawicz.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Do you have to say it's off the record? / Oh, God.", "c": ["Mark", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Come on, stay in bed. That park is never, ever, ever gonna get made. / Right. And then I came back to bed. / Yeah, but the important part of what I said was, 'Stay in bed.'", "c": ["Mark", "Shauna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "I wouldn't say romantically involved. You know, going forward.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "I don't even know what lexicons are. I thought that was a luxury automobile.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "You can't even spell vocabulary. / Yeah. V-O-G-X... Was that right? No.", "c": ["Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Tom is exactly what I'm looking for in a government employee.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Whoa! You nailed Malwae-Tweep? Nice. / Yes, but I'm not gonna do it again. It's over. / So she's available.", "c": ["Tom", "Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Man, that dude has stuck it in some crazy chicks.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "'Pretty drunk, Ann's on the pill.' / I didn't 'throw up,' I spit up.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "She writes, and I quote, 'We'll see.' / Ends on a hopeful note.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Reporter"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. It's real. Uh... Yeah, I'm not gonna go deal with this. I'm leaving.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Actually, this is a little fun. This is fun.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "That's why I go two towns over if I want to rent a movie with nudity in it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Yeah, I probably shouldn't have said that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "You are so pure, you're like a brown Superman with a beard that just stands for justice and truth and the American way.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Maybe those are his relatives. Yeah, maybe fake boobs run in his family.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "She's got a thong on her face.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "His favorite movie is Dances With Wolves.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "No matter what direction I move, he's always staring at my chest.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "She swears it makes me look thinner. It kind of does.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Yes, Ann! That's good, think like a man.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "And it's because you're a woman!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "That was the sound of a glass ceiling being shattered.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "I mean, look at those bitches clean up after me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "You have a friend who has a tattoo that says, 'Daddy's Girl.' And both words are misspelled.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Oh, boo. Brendanawicz, that's some weak sauce. You need to hit harder!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Natalie, it's your sister. Pick me up or I'm gonna draw all over your jeans.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "'Cause parties usually get started when you run out of booze.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "I have always tried to live my life in an ethical way, and last night, I failed.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Michele Bachmann, Republican, Minnesota. I am sorry. Tammy Baldwin, Democrat, Wisconsin. I'm so sorry, Tammy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "She is an angel. And I seriously love her. Hard.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "I took a bunch of painkillers. They're about to kick in so I'm ready to go.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "It's like I don't even know you anymore.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Yes, but she was in the hospital. I did not know that at the time.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "I think you should go to jail. Think about what you've done.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "You're a white Protestant man with a full, rich mustache.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "When you spill something and you try to wipe it up with something that's dirty, then you get double dirty.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "I wish I could say some of this mess was Ann's, but it's all mine. I'm kind of a nester.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "I'm doing a little experiment tonight to see what will get me drunker. Drinking wine...", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Because I was waiting for my sister and I was bored, and my hair looked really good.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "This bench is so uncomfortable. Ow. Help. Please, Ron. Ron.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Zero to six. I'm gonna write down 10.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Have you ever had a sexual dream about our boss, Ron Swanson? No! Absolutely not. No. Yes. No.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Is he like a regular Ron, or is he half-Ron, half-animal, like a centaur? Is he wearing a football uniform? Are you making love to him on a couch shaped like his mustache? Is he covered in Powerade?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "This is how they clean their dog.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "I just put 12 new batteries in that thing!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "This is not communist China. You cannot make her whip herself. You cannot make her wear a hair shirt. We weren't planning on doing either of those things. This is America. You want to live in North Korea, you can live in North Korea. I don't want to. I want to live in America.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "My idea of a perfect government is one guy, who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he's allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women are brought to him, maybe, when he desires them.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "I... We had a brief affair in February of 2004.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Smart woman. Iffy choice in men. But then again, I'm not one to talk.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "I was chasing our neighbor who's a total jagweed and I fell in some prickly bushes.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Somebody is getting gently laid tonight. Andy! God!", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "I got seven letters in my file. Pretty much every guy in city planning has a bunch of letters.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "Look out, boys. I'm in your club now. I'm in your club. I'm in your club. I'm in your club. I'm in your club. I'm in your... Mmm. Creepy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Boys Club"}, {"t": "They cut his face off. And they made it into a dream catcher. And they made his legs into rain sticks. And that's the great thing about Indians back then--is they used every part of the pioneer.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Sorry, is a great man. I, for one, am glad that they're keeping him alive.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Like the Kennedys or the Bushes. Minus the drinking problem. I mean no disrespect.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "In 1994, I gave her a nickname. It's unrepeatable, but it stuck. It's my proudest accomplishment.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "It's the Iron [bleep] of Pawnee.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Oh, it didn't answer your call? Maybe because it was in the Smithsonian.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "I was learning disabled, and my mom cast a very long shadow.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Marlene Griggs-Knope is morbidly obese.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Abraham Lincoln, when he started his speeches, he would come up and say, 'My name's Abraham Lincoln. I'm the President of the United States. But I'm gonna be honest with you. I have no clue what I'm doing.'", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Marlene Griggs-Knope is definitely not a whore. Marlene Griggs-Knope has not five, but seven Asian friends. Marlene Griggs-Knope has never solicited a male prostitute. Marlene Griggs-Knope has said the 'N' word only four times in her entire life.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "She said it more than that?", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Well, 'cause I would feel a little silly putting on a nice dress to go to the couch.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Babe, I'm out of milk.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "The Tellensons is like the Oscars times the Grammys plus the Super Bowl.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "He's the guy that made Larry Bird look the way he does.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "My feet hurt.", "c": ["Salvatore"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "What the hell else would you call it?", "c": ["Salvatore"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Salvatore calls this hairdo 'The Mayor.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "And yes, I will wear my hair like this when I am the first female mayor of Pawnee.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "I just wanted to tell you that I think that what you two are doing is so brave. And just being who you are-- I wish I had your courage.", "c": ["Frank Schnable"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Okay, let's go.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel-toe boot. But this hotel always serves bacon-wrapped shrimp. That's my number one favorite food wrapped around my number three favorite food.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "I'd go to a banquet and honor those Somali pirates if they served bacon-wrapped shrimp.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "I wasn't offering.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "It's just like my brother's. He's an officer in the Air Force.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "I don't know who that is, that's somebody's wife.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Wait, Oscar Pfortmiller's dead. That's his disappointing son, Theo. Another dynasty.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "If a bomb went off in here, it would definitely make the Indianapolis papers.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Maybe I should mention her massive weight loss.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, really? Well, I'm Marlene Griggs-Knope and I will destroy you all. [laughter]", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "It's fun to pretend to be zoning board members.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Salvatore usually does men.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Yeah, friend. She's--we're friends. Just friends. I have a boyfriend. He's a man.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Yes, and it's 22 minutes long. With the song. I could cut the song. The song's cut.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "I'll make her feel like a human dinner roll.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Marlene Griggs-Knope is my mom. But she's so much more than that. She's also... my mother.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "And if you weren't thinking it, you probably already said it. Political dynasty.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "And others.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "I love you too, Janine.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "This is my evening. I'm Leslie's trophy wife.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "And if five years ago you told me I was gonna be in this ballroom with Marlene Griggs-Knope, I would have guessed we were getting married.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Andy, I can't leave now. I'll get one for you on the way home. Okay, meatball and ham. Wait, is that two different subs? Really? I don't think they can do that.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Now, the words 'too sexy' aren't really in my vocabulary. But Marlene, girl, you are too sexy.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Marlene is a woman. She has worked in the government for three decades. 30 years. Properly applied, that's how long a good varnish should last.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "So Marlene, it is true that you have won this award.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "It's 9:30 on a Friday night in Pawnee. There's not gonna be a later, Mark. Come on, now.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Look, I would love to come hit on chicks with you guys, but, uh, she seems kind of engaged in something and I--I think I should probably stay.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "You hit on chicks, for real?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Did she say call her or call her secretary?", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Didn't want to have to use this, but her husband got a D.U.I. in Illinois last week. And she's trying to keep it quiet.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Sweetheart, they only give lifetime achievement awards to people who do things like that. Those are eight of the nastiest, most diabolical people you could ever wanna meet.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Tony Tellenson was the worst. He tried to re-segregate the drinking fountains.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "She has a husband who likes to vroom and glug glug glug glug glug.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Look, nursing is easy. Yeah. You just go to work and people come in and you heal them.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Make any pancakes lately?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Yeah. And he's got three crutches. And one of them is you. And the other two are crutches.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "It's okay. You're allowed to fight. You two are just like everyone else.", "c": ["Frank Schnable"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Cool Ranch, got it. Anything else?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "He's handsome, I'm a cutie pie, he's laid back, I'm more in your face, but in a fun way. Ladies don't stand a chance.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "It's called peacocking. Basically, I'm wearing something that kind of makes me stand out, like a peacock. So girls'll be like, 'Hey, what's with that hat?'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Thank you, Tony, for those inspiring twitches and blinks.", "c": ["Master of Ceremonies"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "I know that your husband is a drunk driver. My mom told me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "One time I forgot my keys to one of the houses.", "c": ["Stacy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Look at these guys-- the key-forgetting twins!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "If there was a Tellenson Award for hooking up with trashy chicks all the time, you'd have several of those awards. You're the king. You're my hero.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "There was definitely some truth about that thing you said about me and Andy.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Oh. Hi, Leslie. I thought you were a dude.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "He lives in Florida. In a cemetery.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Fondly.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her is a disappointment to both of us.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Banquet"}, {"t": "Your boobs are dead.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Wow, it's like a sweaty pi\u00f1ata.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Hey, my iPod! Oh, yeah! My pirate!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Andy immediately falling over when trying to walk", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Sandwich! Are you turkey or ham?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Lamp! Wish you were a lamp that would light up when you get touched", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "You know... I don't really like to define it but it's like Matchbox Twenty meets The Fray. So, rock. Well, again, I don't really like to define it.", "c": ["Andy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Oh, you guys. You know how I love mixing work into my personal life.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Apparently, what I can achieve in government can literally be measured.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "It's one of those rare songs that rocks really hard, and also informs people about a small public works project.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "The band has had a few different names over the years... [long list ending with] ...and now we are Scarecrow Boat. God, when I hear myself say Scarecrow Boat out loud, I kind of hate it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Not my kids, 'cause they're grown-up, but it was tough on their kids.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "And she looks like a young Sandy Duncan.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "You don't have to have sex with him if you don't want to.", "c": ["Leslie's Mom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "My ex-wife Tammy cheated on me. Then we divorced. Then last week, I ran into her sister Beth here. Turns out she hates Tammy, too, so we've started dating. It's like a fairy tale.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Look at how hot she is. Isn't that crazy? And she's a surgeon. She makes a ton of money! Bam!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "He's like the gayest person I've ever met. But I make out with him when I'm drunk sometimes.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Apparently, tonight, I'm the Parks Department's seventh wheel.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Just a taste. Have a little taste of chicken! Just a bit! Just a taste! Chicken, chicken, chicken!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Could you grab me a triple whiskey water?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "The last rock show I went to was the Everly Brothers.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Ann [sung repeatedly]", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "They should change their name to Big, Lying Baby. Or Where's My Sandwich? Or Don't Forget To Bring Home Beers After Work.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "But if I were, would you be interested? No. Okay.", "c": ["Mark", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Pit! I fell in it, the pit / You fell in it, the pit / We all fell in it, the pit", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "No! Screw it! We are Mouse Rat!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Todd graduated in 2005, so you probably missed him.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Dead or asleep?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "She used to read him books at the senior center. He's six, but he has Benjamin Button's disease.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "You should be dating men that Al Roker announces their birthdays.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "That time we were also at a bar. And he was also pretty drunk.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "You think I can get my beer bottle in that shopping cart right there?", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "You missed the entire pit, which is huge, by the way.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "I really, really like it when you serve me food.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Look, I mean, you got Dirt Slide over here, you got Ring Around The Diaper you could play there. You've got Duck, Duck, Glass you could play right there. Mystery Trash.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "I mean, Kennedy put a man on the moon. I can build one park.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "This isn't the way I want this to happen again.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Mark falling into the pit", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Pit! I fell in it, the pit / You fell in it, the pit / We all fell in it, the pit", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Rock Show"}, {"t": "Opening with Leslie rapping the entire Fresh Prince theme song at what appears to be a government meeting", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "And they like to fling their feces, so we were hoping that they would fling their hats. But they just flung their feces.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Well, not those two. Those are both boy penguins.", "c": ["Zoo employee"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Still, you couldn't have asked for better weather.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Brendanawicz, you big sandwich eater.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Just to be clear, that was a friend punch. There was no flirtatious meaning behind that playful punch I just gave your arm.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "I really hit rock bottom that night. And I mean that I literally fell to the bottom of a pit and hit a rock.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "And then I started thinking, 'I need morphine.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Last year, a garbage man was suspended for wearing a Live Strong bracelet.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Pawnee has a gay bar? Yeah. The Bulge. It's behind my house.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "The nights I've wasted there.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it. Yes, 'cause it was featured in Details magazine. And it's awesome.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Yes. The statement was that you're very lonely and you need a pet.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Mine has a collar on it.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Derek is gay, but he's straight for me, but he's gay for Ben, and Ben's really gay for Derek. And I hate Ben.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "The thing about youth culture is, I don't understand it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "How? Photoshop. What? Oh! Computers.", "c": ["Derek/Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Well, you look good, girl. You're gonna turn somebody tonight.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "That was hands-down the best interaction I've ever had with Donna.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Oh, you're serious?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Because I firmly believed that it would be cute. And it was.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "So you couldn't possibly understand, but when gays marry, it ruins marriage for the rest of us.", "c": ["Marcia"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "You know what? I'm so terrible with directions. If I'm headed to the parking lot, do I make a left out of here, or do I go right?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "I think when his head hit the ground, it must've knocked something loose, because he's actually a pretty nice guy now.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "And Andy, after we broke up, he told me he was going to Kansas to climb mountains.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Oh, me, neither. Look, let's invent our own secret language that only we understand.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Yeah, especially with that heterosexual cowboy greeting us on the way in.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "There's a bar on Eighth Street called Pitchers and Catchers. You can go there.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "She's Leslie Knope, and she wants to recruit you!", "c": ["Bar patron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "especially on a night when the Colts are playing.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "This is green.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "I just have one thing to say! Together we can change Pawnee forever! Let's dance!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "don't use the words 'medical emergency.'", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "You know why tonight's fun? 'Cause everyone's so gay. And they know how to have fun, and the dancing! Just, it's... Everyone is just who they are. And who they are is just stone-cold gay.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "And there's two bisexual guys here, and I got both of their phone numbers.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "I guess I'm kind of like queen of the gays.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "That's funny. Somebody just told me you were queen of the gays. That was me.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "How are your kids doing? They're pretty good. Is it tough for them to have a mother that is so beautiful?", "c": ["Tom", "Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "What? Can I come in? I just want to talk to you for a second.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Anything else? You want me to jump off a building? Perform hara-kiri? Move to a different town? No, I kid.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "I have one night of fun with some of the best dancers I've ever danced with, and suddenly everybody's freaking out?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, the monkey suit. Cost 3,000 bucks, but totally worth it. I sold out!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "and I really think it would behoove us to give it another shot.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "And the hardest part about living in this pit is probably keeping my suit pressed.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "It's like a freaking rat parade every night.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "I mean, would you let me marry my guinea pig? Because I really do want to marry my guinea pig.", "c": ["Caller"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "But I apologize. I apologize for having fun, and for making something cute!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Look at them. They're just in their own little penguin love bubble.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "We're just animals. We don't know anything about love.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Plus, I already called him and told him that you were dying to go out with him, so have fun.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Oh, look! Six Flags! I should take them on a water slide. They might die. But it would be so cute!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Pawnee Zoo"}, {"t": "Hos before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "The thing is, Mark isn't my ex. We slept together six years ago. Anyway, I'm over it. Or am I? I'm just kidding.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Those are, of course, tomatoes. Or souljaboy tellems.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Whenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of our plants, I just give her the names of rappers.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Those are some diddies. There's some bonethugs and harmoniums right here. Those ludacrises are coming in great.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "You know, the best way to figure out what kind of spice that is, is roll it up into a joint and smoke it.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Did you get my text? Did you get my emails? Did you see that I paged you? I did not. Did you check your voicemail? I didn't.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Then there'll be an investigation. And they'll find my fingerprints on the manure.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Ron slowly explaining his hernia situation while sitting perfectly still", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "It's a 13-year-old kid named Stevie who likes to get high and make his transformers look like they're having sex.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "I would like to be president some day, so, no, I have not smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once. At a party in college. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn't any pot in it. It was just an insanely good brownie.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Get my lunch for me, please. Okay, like order you something? No, get it... from there.", "c": ["Ron", "April"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "I have stakeout supplies. Notepads, pencils, and pencil case. Shakable whipped cream. Cameras. Gorp. And... candy necklaces.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "And I made us a mix CD. It's all filled with songs about people watching people. It's mostly Sting.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Tommy Hilfiger? No, Tom Haverford. I spent 120 bucks to get it monogrammed. Everyone thinks it's Hilfiger.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "When Andy and I used to go to the movies, he would always try to guess the ending of the movie. And he would always guess that the main character had been dead the whole time. Even when we saw Ratatouille.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "You know, with a body like this, you don't get the brains too. That was silly.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Brendanawicz is the man. This is Brendanawicz's life: hot chick from the newspaper, hot chick from the post office, hot chick from the hospital. Her name's Ann. You know her name. Her name's Ann.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "We were drunk, and he tried to kiss me, and I said, 'nuh-uh, no, sir, Mark Brendanawicz. I don't need your business here.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Get down!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Shovel guitar. Somebody wants to play shovel guitar. Leslie's been playing shovel guitar for about an hour now. Bucket drum.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "You're not from here, right? No, I'm from South Carolina. But you moved to South Carolina from where? My mother's uterus. But you were conceived in Libya?", "c": ["Andy", "Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "My birth name is... Darwish Zubair Ismail Gani. Then I changed it to Tom Haverford because, you know, brown guys with funny-sounding Muslim names don't make it really far in politics.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "What about Barack Obama? Yeah, fine, Barack Obama. If I knew a dude named Barack Obama was gonna be elected president, maybe I wouldn't have changed it.", "c": ["Andy", "Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "White male, light brown hair. Just take pictures. Oh, my God. It looks like Andy. That is Andy.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Andy is the kingpin.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "You're living in the pit now? For now, yeah. It's awesome. Somebody planted a garden down there with fruits and vegetables, so I'm getting a lot of vitamins.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Don't look at me. There's weed down there? I thought that was the tops of carrots.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Do you live here? Yeah, do you live here? Catch.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "I went home, but I had this strange feeling that there was something wrong with you, so I came back.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "AIDS? No, I'm safe. Blindness? Is it like a parasite or a virus or something you get from a bee? I have a hernia. Do you have syphilis? I said it's a hernia. I know. It's possible to have two things.", "c": ["April", "Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "But I rode my bike, so I have to go home and get my dad's station wagon.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "I miss her so much, it's ridiculous. How's she doing? Doing good tonight. She's out on a... Ann is great. And I bet she really misses you.", "c": ["Andy", "Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "You know there's a string in there. Not in this one. Instant sugar high. Sugar high. Sugar hit high. Sugar high. High. Sugar slam.", "c": ["Andy", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "I have been a perfect gentleman this evening. In fact, watch this. I would like you to now please invite me in for a nightcap. Not a chance. No. Just watch... watch what I'm gonna do. Ask me in for a nightcap. Will you come in for a nightcap? Yes, I will. No, no, damn. Drats, I was gonna plan to not.", "c": ["Mark", "Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "So, do you like spy on Ann? From the pit? I just like being nearby. That way if she wants me back, I could be at her house in two seconds, before she changes her mind.", "c": ["Tom", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "She's dating somebody else? I didn't say that. Who is she dating? What? Is she dating somebody else? I didn't say that. Who is she dating? Nobody. Mark.", "c": ["Andy", "Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "I need you to step out and show me some ID. It's okay, my name's Tom Haverford. I work for the Parks Department. I got locked out of the van. I had to jimmy my way back in. Why don't you jimmy your way out and show me some ID? I just told you my ID, so what's the crime here? Parking while Indian?", "c": ["Police Officer", "Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "There's no stereotypes about Indians sitting in vehicles.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Nice job, Paul Blart. Why don't you head back to the mall, make sure nobody's breaking into lady-foot locker?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "I'll step out of your mama's van.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Your name's Dave? Can I call you Dave? My mother likes David, but I'm pretty split on... I hate to break it to you. You really stepped in it. What? I'm a government employee, and so is your prisoner. If I wanted to, I could get on the horn, and I could have Ron Swanson down here. Kicking down your doors. That's right, you heard me.", "c": ["Leslie", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Parks and Recreation. Do I stutter?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "We also found an enormous amount of manure, and a very inappropriate amount of candy.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "I took the pictures. My best friend was going on a date with my ex-lover.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "Prison changes a man. I think he'll wanna see a familiar face when he gets back on the outside.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "I'm Ron [beep] Swanson.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "You kind of kissed me. Yes, I did, and now we both have herpes.", "c": ["Mark", "Ann"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "These are... carrots. You don't think I know the difference between carrots and marijuana?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "You wanted to check up on your friend and that guy, your ex, so you made up a story about weed so you could stake out their date. I did not. There actually was weed here. It's okay. I think it's kind of cute.", "c": ["Dave", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "I like Miss Knope. I gotta say when I first met her, I didn't care much for her, because, like 99% of the people in any given day of my life, she was very belligerent and disagreeable. Miss Knope was attractive to me as a man. I was attracted to her in her demeanor. I was attracted to her in a sexual manner that was appropriate. I don't want to talk about this anymore.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "What a crazy night. Partner? Want to go get some breakfast? What? No. Take me home. What is wrong with you? Oh, my God, I can't believe this is on! I wonder if mini golf is open. Home!", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "We didn't think you were a pervert. We thought you were a criminal. For the record, I still actually kind of think he's a pervert.", "c": ["Ann", "Mark"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Stakeout"}, {"t": "So everybody needs to pitch in $90... Because I ordered a beautiful bouquet of daffodils from a website after a few glasses of wine.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "So, Tom, I think you might be getting some daffodils too. Donna, you're definitely getting some. Jerry, I don't know, I'm not sure. Time will tell.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "The girls from Talent and Poise are gonna be there? - What? - Talent and Poise. It's a strip club by the V.A. Hospital.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "No, what's disgusting is the Glitter Factory. Do not go to the Glitter Factory.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "So that awesome girls like you, who are not, you know, classically hot, can be rewarded for their intelligence and savvy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "The coffee's $7.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Just bump that clown. Tell him they already have an Asian judge.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "But if you don't do it to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "The original title of this was 'a lively fisting'. But they had to change it. For obvious reasons.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "It's Madeleine Albright. - That's her name? I call mine nana. - No, that's Madeleine Albright. First female Secretary of State.", "c": ["Leslie", "Dave"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "I mean, could you date someone who doesn't love giving vaccinations? - I've never dated anyone who loves giving vaccinations.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Well, I'll see you tonight for the weirdest second date ever.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "34c, 36b, 34b, 34d. 32a? How'd you get in here? I'm kidding. You're perfect, each one of you. God bless.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm April Ludgate. I'm 20 years old, I like... People... Places... And things. And Pawnee is my favorite place in the world.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "I've been on Youtube.", "c": ["Trish"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "They can't all be winners.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Looks like we got a frontrunner.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "She's not even twirling the baton.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Natalie. I love Ritalin and have low self-esteem.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Women should do everything. Check out my four-color pen. Listen up while I talk about some really important stuff. Parks, parks... Michelle Obama, parks. Gay penguins, parks, sugar, parks.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "She got me. She got me good.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "I hooked your toilet up to your shower. That's what you wanted?", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "You live down here. I can't believe this is happening. I can't be at my house and see my ex-boyfriend living in a hole in my backyard like a gopher.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "When you had that barbecue, I didn't come up, even though it smelled so good.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "First off, I just want to say I'm a little bit surprised because I didn't think angels could fly so low.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Alexis De Tocqueville called America the great experiment. What can we do as citizens to improve on that experiment?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "But the high birthing rate of immigrants frightens me. No offense to anyone out there, but if it were up to me and my family, I would actually call it our America and not their America.", "c": ["Trish"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Don't applaud that. Don't. She didn't answer my question.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "I peeked. I also didn't see any toothpaste. Do you not use toothpaste?", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "What? We don't get cash? This is for a fence? - It won't cover a whole fence, but it'll defray the cost considerably.", "c": ["April", "Announcer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I quit.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "No, I didn't win. But at least I didn't make any new friendships.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Trish will win this pageant over my dead body.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "I packed a suitcase.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a ton of porn, and I know what fixing your shower means.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "A good chef never reveals her secrets. It's hot sauce.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "I was thinking that there was once a time when Mark used to be the stranger in the house. And now it's me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "This isn't the first time that Susans have lost to Trishes. And it won't be the last.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "No, dummy, just you.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "That went really well! We had dinner, I got to see her. Oh, God, I was so tempted to look back at her. Was she looking? I had to walk so slow. A good day.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "It's officer John McClane. Welcome to the party, pal.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "Will Sandra Day O'Connor and Michelle Obama and Condoleezza Rice and Nancy Pelosi... Are they gonna join us? - No, they won't. - Good, 'cause I don't happen to agree with Miss Pelosi's views about the troubled assets relief program.", "c": ["Dave", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "This is one of my favorite pick-up strategies. I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of 'em have shown up.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Beauty Pageant"}, {"t": "I was making love to a beautiful woman... and her boyfriend, and a third person whose name I never learned", "c": ["Councilman Dexhart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Furthermore, it was wrong of me to say I was building houses for the underprivileged when I was actually having four-way sex in a cave in Brazil", "c": ["Councilman Dexhart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I bet cave sex is in-sane. - Why? - The echoes and the humidity.", "c": ["Unknown character 1", "Unknown character 2"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "In my defense, it was my birthday, and I really wanted to do it", "c": ["Councilman Dexhart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "not whether he was high on nitrous and cocaine during the cave sex... which, by the way, I heard he was", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "councilman Dexhart may have also had sex with a prostitute in the limousine on the way to and from the press conference where he apologized for having an affair", "c": ["News reporter"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "You're married, and you hit on women constantly. Yeah, but I've never sealed the deal. Just window shopping.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "You can fly to Brazil, just don't enter the cave. Up top.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I changed my name, which is legal, and once in high school, a girl beat me in a wrestling match. That's it.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "You will never believe what I just found on Jerry's Facebook. A friend. Burn.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "He's probably gonna go anger pee in the courtyard.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Roger that. - Copy. Over and out.", "c": ["Dave", "Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "That was my phone.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "My taxes pay your salary, right? Cool.", "c": ["Justin Anderson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Like, I don't know, pair of cargo pants. I wouldn't go with a cargo pant. What about, like, a sexy hat? I don't know what that even is.", "c": ["Leslie Knope", "Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Sure, yeah. Tonight? Several hours from now? Or you could just come over now? I think that would better. Let's go.", "c": ["Ann Perkins", "Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "This isn't even a real receipt, just a scrap of paper. Taliban robes!", "c": ["Unknown character", "Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Those aren't taliban robes. That's from Halloween. I was dressed like a jedi. I'm sure that the voters would be able to tell the difference.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Looks to me like you're in the taliban.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "That's right. Ron has two ex-wives, each named Tammy. Both of them bitches. Yes, my mom's name is Tammy.", "c": ["Tom Haverford", "Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Tom! That was a jaeger-secret. You just breached a jaeger-secret. Damn! This just heated up quick.", "c": ["Ron Swanson", "Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Will you be wearing it out of the store today, madame? I think I will, good lady.", "c": ["Ann Perkins", "Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "if I've been married? Have you? No. Then say that. But he'll wonder why I haven't been. You know what? I'm gonna say that I was married, but the question is, should I say that I have kids?", "c": ["Leslie Knope", "Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "What if he shows up with another woman? What if one of my sleeves catches on fire and it spreads rapidly? What if, instead of tic tacs, I accidentally pop a couple of ambien, and I have to keep punching my leg to stay awake?", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Those are all insane hypotheticals, and I promise you they won't happen. They have happened. All of these have happened to me.", "c": ["Ann Perkins", "Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "One time, I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "One time, I rode in a sidecar on a guy's motorcycle, and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I literally woke up with his hand in my mouth. We went out after that, but then he got weird.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I know what you're thinking. I wear an earpiece, you sit at a table nearby, you speak into a mike, you tell me what to say on the date, but let me tell you, it never works.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Whales, parades, electricity... And the rest are blank. I couldn't think of anything else.", "c": ["Leslie Knope", "Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Is she practice laughing?", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "The Danish call it oppe og nede apparat, which literally translated means 'the up and down machine'. That's a thorough history of the teeter-totter.", "c": ["Leslie Knope", "Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "How big is it? Really? Oh, my God.", "c": ["Leslie Knope", "Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Do you hate black people? Excuse me? 'Cause apparently in 1988, you donated money to the presidential campaign for... David Duke! The KKK guy?", "c": ["Tom Haverford", "Donna Meagle"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I got a phone call. They said he would lower taxes.", "c": ["Donna Meagle"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "We're celebrating, 'cause she's super rich and super hot also. Okay, come on, Tommy. Cut it out. You're super hot. Everybody else has to deal with it.", "c": ["Tom Haverford", "Wendy Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I've established a scientifically perfect ten-point scale of human beauty. Wendy is a 7.4, which is way too high for Tom, who is a 3.8. Ten is tennis legend Steffi Graf.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "You're late, and I can see your nipples through your dress. What? No. Really?", "c": ["Ann Perkins", "Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "What's your niece's name? Torple. What? I don't know. That's not a name. I don't have a niece. My niece's name is Stephanie? Stop lying!", "c": ["Ann Perkins", "Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I have to go to the... whizz palace. You know, Dave, the... the place where you... you know, the toilet thing. It's a bathroom! It's called a bathroom!", "c": ["Leslie Knope", "Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I didn't know I was adopted.", "c": ["Jerry Gergich"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I just found out, through some pretty impressive investigating, that your wedding was a sham. It's a green card marriage. That's crazy. I was born in south Carolina. These colors don't run, baby. Yes, but Wendy was born in Ottawa... Canada!", "c": ["Ron Swanson", "Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I'll have your wife tonight. What? I'm just kidding. Get out of here. Why would you say that?", "c": ["Ron Swanson", "Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Do you want to watch a porno after this with me and my wife? No, Dave, 'cause you're disgusting. So it's definitely a no?", "c": ["Ann Perkins", "Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "You coy bastard.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "There is a man named Duke Silver. He hangs out at a bar in eagleton. He's an old friend of Ron's. Maybe you should ask him.", "c": ["Justin Anderson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I'm gonna dig up so much dirt, there's gonna be worms all over the place. It sounded snappier in my head.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Me power. Good. You're officially first date-proof.", "c": ["Leslie Knope", "Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Help, police! Help! Help!", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I'm awesome, and you're lucky to have me. And I think our first date tomorrow's gonna go awesome, off the charts. Amazing. Up top. All right, let's do this bitch! I'm not scared. Can I come in? 'Cause I walked here 'cause of the drinking.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Ladies, ladies, ladies, it's just about that time. It's with the jazziest pleasure that I bring out for you my man, Mr. Duke Silver.", "c": ["Club announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "As always, it is a thrill to be here during this witching hour with you lovely ladies. Now relax and let the Duke Silver Trio take you on a little journey... to yourself.", "c": ["Ron Swanson as Duke Silver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 9.0, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I think that's a sweater-shirt combo.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Are you impressed that I know what it's called? I ought to give you a lift home. Good. Well, in London, they call the elevators lifts, you're gonna give me an elevator home?", "c": ["Leslie Knope", "Dave"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "When I was 16, I had sex with a married woman. When I was in college, I smoked a decent amount of pot. Nothing insane.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "One time, this guy rang my doorbell at midnight to brag about getting laid when he was 16, so I shot him. Good night.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Smooth as Silver and Hi ho, Duke. And look for my new CD next month, Memories of Now.", "c": ["Ron Swanson as Duke Silver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Say, 'I bested you'. I bested you.", "c": ["Tom Haverford", "Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Last night was our first date, so that would make tonight our second.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Well, we went on our first date, and I didn't even know it, a.k.a. I nailed it. No fires, no ambulances. Just good old-fashioned showing up drunk at a guy's house late at night.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "Hello! I drove a riding lawn mower through a Nordstrom! There's video that I took! It's on the Internet. Nothing.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I got hit by a fire engine. You are so lucky. How?", "c": ["Jerry Gergich", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Practice Date"}, {"t": "I told you... Gold-sequined sweatpants.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Venezuela is a poor country. These men are not used to the wealth and flash that we have here in central Indiana.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Our guests are going to stay in a motel for sure.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "My mom's Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "I had to drop the rock-and-roll bowling alley from our itinerary.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "One of the most difficult phone calls I've ever had to make.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Raul Alejandro Bastilla Pedro de Veloso de Maldonado. I'm Tom.", "c": ["Raul", "Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Pay no attention to him. He's our intern, Johnny. He is worthless.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Yes, we'll get our pathetic servant boy to fetch your luggage. Go, boy.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "I will take the large black one.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "I am not surprised at all. I've been to South America. I did very well there.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "So no women?", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "What kind of birds do you eat? Chickens. Us too. Amazing.", "c": ["Raul", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "You got it, chief.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Can you help me out a second? Go away, Jerry.", "c": ["Jerry", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "A bottle of high-fructose corn syrup made right here in Pawnee's own sweetums factory. 'If you can't beat 'em, sweetums.' Since 1891.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Kernston's rubber nipples. 'Tastes like the real thing.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "We thank you for the container of sap and the bag of garbage.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "That's why people respect Hillary Clinton so much, 'cause nobody takes a punch like her. She's the strongest, smartest punching bag in the world.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "This city was planned? It looks like it was designed by a very stupid rodent.", "c": ["Raul", "Mark"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "He's actually a pretty smart rodent.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "On the other hand, this is a pretty sweet-ass gun.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "With your hands, you peel the banana.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "American children are fattened more efficiently than any other children in the world. They're like little basketballs. I mean, they're huge. Little porkers.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Now I do not understand.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Oil is food for cars.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "You said they might not know what toilet paper is.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "We'll go to Chicago and pretend it's part of Pawnee. Or New York. Or London! The money's different. They'll figure it out. Never mind.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "I have four satellite dishes on my estate. We get 14,000 channels. I already know who wins project runway.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "I am still primarily interested in the large black woman.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "This is already a park. And it's one of our best-loved parks.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Size doesn't matter. Yes, it does.", "c": ["Leslie", "Raul"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "But we have something more beautiful than Lady Gaga. Democracy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Antonio, Nestle crunch with the crispy rice removed.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "I find it incredibly demeaning, but, guess what? Cash money I'm going to make it rain", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "We don't need palaces. The ideas are what shine in our meetings.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "My dog went to one of your parks and ate another dog's feces, and I am going to sue you for that.", "c": ["Angry Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Where are the armed men who come in to take the protestors away? Where? This kind of behavior is never tolerated in Boraqua. You shout like that, they put you in jail. Right away. No trial, no nothing.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "You are stealing... Right to jail. You're playing music too loud... Right to jail. Right away. You're driving too fast? Jail. Slow? Jail. You're charging too high prices for sweaters, glasses, you right to jail. You undercook fish... Believe it or not, jail. You overcook chicken... Also jail. Undercook, overcook. You make an appointment with a dentist and you don't show up... Jail, right away. We have the best patients in the world... Because of jail.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "We answer to nobody.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Tell that to the Golden Gate Bridge or American Idol or the moon. Oh, wait. You can't 'cause you've never been.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "And you guys want to marry Hugo Chavez.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Those are our pens. Great. We don't even need them. Great. Then don't take them. We didn't.", "c": ["Leslie", "Raul"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Do you see the problem here? Yes, but I don't want to.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Yesterday I was Hillary Clinton, today I'm Bill.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "They've been partying with Dwayne Wade.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Pro, $35,000 worth of dirty money. Con, not quite sure why that's a pro.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Pro and con never works. Pro, yes, it does.", "c": ["Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "Jerry, are you happy? What did I do?", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "I don't want to viva that guy. We just gave you $35,000. That's worth one viva.", "c": ["Leslie", "Raul"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "They're a committee to humiliate and shame America.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "You call it, 'Hugo Chavez park'. You can have a nice big fountain of his head so that when the water is coming out, he's spitting at you all the time.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "You are no longer our sister.", "c": ["Raul"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "And it's not going to have a fountain shaped like Hugo Chavez's head spitting water all over everyone, unless that's what the people want. And that, sir, is democracy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "It's okay, I guess. He has, like, 5 million rooms. And this is only his guest house.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "It's better than my mom's house, I guess.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Sister City"}, {"t": "$20 to Netflix. $20 to Blockbuster Online. Both?", "c": ["Credit Card Representative", "April"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I needed all 11 discs of gossip girl at the same time.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "$120 in tuition to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They give you a little wand and a diploma, it's fun.", "c": ["Credit Card Representative", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "What'd you major in? Potions.", "c": ["Credit Card Representative", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Man-Pillow, the pillow shaped like a man. Also something called 'bucket of cake'.", "c": ["Credit Card Representative"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "You know what? I think someone stole my credit card so cancel it. Don't refund anything.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "So... What does a man-pillow look like? Daniel Craig. It's for my lower back.", "c": ["Unknown", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "High five. I never trust anything that quickly. That's why I don't eat minute rice.", "c": ["Keith", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Fat kids, skinny kids, brainiacs, sluts, the gay drama kids, goths, jocks, the alternative crowd.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "The key to volunteering? A lot of pockets. For putting all the food in. The red cross has amazing cookies.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Suicide hotline, surprisingly lame spread.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "You live in a pit. Not anymore. Living with the drummer of my band. Living indoors. Pretty cool. Not to brag. Kinda hard not to.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Me and an old Asian lady are double-teaming some monkey bars, so.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I got a remote control and I'm controlling you. Go faster! Go faster, Ron's the master.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Jerry, did you use permanent marker again? I'm sorry, guys... Forget it. Let's all pretend Jerry wasn't born.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I have a couple in my wallet. That's what I call condoms. Come on, Tom. Focus.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I wanna move like a cheetah. Or a slug driving a remote controlled car. Something more plausible than that, but fast.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Would you break the rules? I won't murder.", "c": ["Mark", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "So who gives me the go ahead to not ask for permission, because... Is it Ron?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I've never rented a guy before. Wish I knew about that during prom.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "There was a girl at my prom who was known as the backhoe. Mary Dunbar, she'd let anyone massage her back.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I didn't wanna tell him my real name, you know?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "We are about to fill this hole now. Not with dirt, but with the courage of a thousand lions. And the solemn memory of all of our friends who have fallen in this cursed hole.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "The monitor is not a toy, Andy. Anything is a toy if you play with it.", "c": ["Nurse", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I saw an old cereal box I hadn't read before, so I must've drifted off.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Can I smoke in here? You don't smoke. Just asking if I can.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Are you high? I'm high on kaboom!", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I'm sorry to burst your ka-bubble, but I just had my ass ka-handed to me by the city manager, and now this entire department is ka-screwed.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "What the ka-*** were you thinking?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I would prefer that she ask me for my permission so I can say no. I like saying no. It lowers their enthusiasm.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "My God, my sexy sweater! It has a hole cut out over the bicep.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "A tragic accident reignited feelings you thought were long dead and we are finally back together.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "What does he have that I don't have? Are you serious? Everything.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "He has literally everything that you don't have: a job, a car, a steady income, an address, a second pair of shoes, table manners, the ability to say 'tampon' without giggling.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "But sometimes when you make an omelet, you gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative, no omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "What I do know is that he could sue us at the drop of a hat. I mean, right now he is the most dangerous man in Pawnee.", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "You can't say 'I'm sorry', or 'I apologize.' It implies guilt. That's insane, I have to apologize. Andy was the victim... Can't say 'victim'.", "c": ["Scott", "Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I can't say the word 'situation'? No, it implies there was a situation.", "c": ["Leslie", "Scott"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Can I give him the pig? Pig's fine.", "c": ["Leslie", "Scott"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Hope you squeal better.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Andy, I just wanted to say, I am so, so, so... filled... with emotions. As any person would.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "You were in the pit. We're not conceding that point. You were in a place... we're both here now.", "c": ["Leslie", "Scott"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "If you wanna meet, just put a white chalk 'x' on the mailbox across the street from city hall. Or call me back... just call me back.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Hey, Andy, it's your aunt. Your mom or dad's sister. I don't know how to tell you this, but... your uncle has passed. He's with Jesus now.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Leslie, the man lived in a pit. He couldn't find a place to live on the earth's surface, so he went under the ground. You're dealing with a grown man who thinks like a gofer.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Thank you so... Why are you naked? Because of what you said, we're getting back together.", "c": ["Ann", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "You should've heard the sexy stuff she said. I said 'hey, Andy, it's Ann, can we talk at my house?' That's not how you said it, you were like, 'Hey, Andy, it's Ann, can you talk at my house?'", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "My God, you're such a baby. Literally. Big naked baby, put clothes on.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "None of your clothes fit me, so I'm putting an apron over the front stuff.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I want Ann back, and she said she needs a guy with a lot of money. That doesn't sound like Ann. I can't really do her voice.", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "$100,000, I can probably get a bank account.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I can make six bucks a day playing guitar in the street. I can't make six bucks a day.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "A guaranteed starting spot on the Indianapolis Colts... inside linebacker. We can't accomplish that.", "c": ["Andy", "Scott"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I've already been injured in that thing twice. And I can fall in ten more times by 'eventually'.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Usually in these situations a person says 'pinch me.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Who knows why that gopher does what he does?", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "I wish there was something physical that can make me feel this way.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Kaboom! Is a word I made up. It's not in any dictionary. I trick people into building playgrounds in empty lots in their neighborhood. It's an elaborate prank.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "For my next prank, I'm gonna build a hospital in a poor part of China. They'll never see it coming!", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Kaboom"}, {"t": "Greg Pikitis. You're the Parks lady, right? Yeah, that's right. I'm the Parks lady.", "c": ["Leslie", "Greg"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "He's like an invisible, adolescent, James Bond super villain criminal mastermind.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Or maybe someone else is doing it, but I really feel like it's this kid.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Thanks for stopping by, Leslie. You look great. Thank you. Ends today.", "c": ["Greg", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Hey, slutty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens, pump your own stomachs this year.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Who's not invited, then? Hey! What's going on, cupcake?", "c": ["Tom", "April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Can't wait to see how tiny your costume is.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "That looks like something you would find on the wall of a serial killer. In a way, that's a compliment.", "c": ["Dave", "Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "But more importantly, Greg Pikitis sucks, and I wanna destroy him.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Didn't, like, 30 people die in that fire? He wasn't Superman.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "He looks like Ron Swanson. Is that who this is based on? No. It's based on William Percy. Were you listening to what I just said?", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "A week ago I had nothing. Now, I have a part-time job. I'm gonna make $32 tonight. I owe Leslie everything I have. Which, after tonight, will be $39.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "You're a doctor. Yup. I meant your costume. I got it.", "c": ["Ron", "Dr. Harris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Worlds colliding, always awkward.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "And she made out with me in my cop car, which is pretty neat. I shouldn't have said that. That's clear to me now.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "I did. I'm a straight person.", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Last year, I saw three Jonas Brothers make out with three Robert Pattinsons. It was amazing.", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "So, you kind of dropped the ball with Andy then, didn't you?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Turdish? Yes. Like a turd. Like a little turd.", "c": ["Dave", "Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Pikitis!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "This is his ace of spades. This is his calling card. This is what he leaves all his victims.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "You're not. Hey. Yeah, I'm gonna leave. Oh. Okay. This isn't that fun.", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "I'm gonna take this home. Nobody was drinking it, so I'm gonna take it. Okay. Gonna take this, too. Been meaning to read it.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "You have a scary face. Hey! No, in a good way. Scary cute.", "c": ["Leslie", "Dave"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "This isn't one-way glass, you know. I can see you.", "c": ["Greg"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "I screw with her 'cause she gets all riled up, and her face gets all scrunched up like this.", "c": ["Greg"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "And almonds give me the squirts.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "My name is Bert Macklin. I'm with the FBI.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "This is not a stripper. It's my wife, Wendy. You remember her? She's a surgeon at County General, and she's super hot.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Who'd be boring enough to do that?", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Okay. The gloves are coming off.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Never mind that I was actually eating a plum when you saw me earlier.", "c": ["Greg"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "If you followed me all night then you know that it wasn't me.", "c": ["Greg"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Look, I will waterboard you. No, no. I don't think she would make a good cop.", "c": ["Leslie", "Dave"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Ron Swanson's in the building, y'all!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Bert Macklin, FBI.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "The President of the United States of America.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Yeah, it was bad FBI work, too. My bad.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Tonight, the 'T' in T-Pain stands for Tom Haverford!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you were probably a nerd, though, huh? Hey. Leslie, I mean that in a good way.", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "What? No. I'm dating Ann. Good. That was a test. You passed.", "c": ["Mark", "Wendy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "I'd hate for you to have to go back to Canada. All that socialized medicine up there.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "This is for pooping on the handball court!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "This is really fun! But I don't condone it!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "About to head home and have crazy sex. That's cool. I don't... Yeah!", "c": ["Tom", "Mark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Did he hire a fake mom again, to get him out of trouble? What? Whenever he gets in trouble, he goes on Craigslist and hires a woman to play his mother and bail him out.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "Oh, that little SOB! Greg! Gregory!", "c": ["Real Mrs. Pikitis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "I'm not even in the FBI, stupid.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "How did that little turd do it?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Greg Pikitis"}, {"t": "And I've come to the conclusion that I've completely wasted mine.", "c": ["Old Gus"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "And just for the record, I never ever liked being called old Gus. I didn't understand it when I was in my 20's and I sure hate it now.", "c": ["Old Gus"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "So go to hell, every single one of you. Screw Pawnee and screw your damn shoes.", "c": ["Old Gus"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Old Gus is classic.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "April, stop that. Who are you texting? / You. / She's texting me.", "c": ["Leslie", "April", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Sorry you're bored.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Would you rather be able to fly or speak fluent French? Donna, go. / French.", "c": ["Tom", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Damn it! The library?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Pawnee's Library Department is the most diabolical, ruthless bunch of bureaucrats I've ever seen. They're like a biker gang. But instead of shotguns and crystal meth, they use political savvy. And shushing.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "News flash, we're screwed. We got a big problem with the library. Punk ass book jockeys.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "It's the worst group of people ever assembled. They're mean, conniving, rude, and well read, which makes them very dangerous.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I actually think a library would be nice that close to my house. But I'm not about to say that in there.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Ron's ex-wife? / That's terrific. Or is that awful? / He hates her, but he knows her. / Everything's okay. Or is it just the same? / You're thinking out loud again. / Am I? I am.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Of course, that bitch of an ex-wife is working for the library now. That is perfect. The worst person in the world working at the worst place in the world.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Does she have any weaknesses? / What do you mean no? Everybody has one. / Not machines.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I honestly believe that she was programmed by someone from the future to come back and destroy all happiness.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "On my death bed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rushed to my side, so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell, one last time.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Would I get married again? Absolutely. If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "And in case something bad goes down, I wore my sharpest rings. This one will tear you up.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "You have a lot of nerve showing your face here. / Excuse me? / You have overdue book fees totaling 3 dollars, Missy.", "c": ["Library employee", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "That is so typical. I should've known you'd use a low blow, dirty pool, B.S. move like that. That's why everybody hates the library. Here's your 3 dollars. See you in hell.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I was just kidding, dear God. You did have 3 dollars worth of fines, but I cleared them.", "c": ["Library employee"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I know this is a trap but I don't know how.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I swear, I don't have cloven feet.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Shine, shine, shine your shoes? What do you say, sir? Ma'am, shoeshine? I won't look up your skirt.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Just trying the rat race. Chasing the cheese. Racing the rats. To get the cheese.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "It is definitely due to... the economy. I've been hearing a lot of people say that a lot, about a lot of stuff.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I'm more than a friend of Ann's. / Not for long. / I'm sorry? / I don't know.", "c": ["Mark", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "When we were dating, the only job he had was sending audition tapes to Survivor and Deal or no deal.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Hi, my name is Andy Dwyer, and I would be a perfect contestant for deal or no deal.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "And off to the side, a lovely sitting area for kids with asthma to watch other kids play.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "If I'd had a park like that when I was growing up, I probably wouldn't have gone through such a prolonged mall slut phase.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "What's it like to stare into the eye of Satan's butt hole?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "You slept with Brendanawicz?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C-4 and a detonator and a butane torch.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "You opened the gates. To crazy town.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "You've aged horribly. / You... son of a bitch.", "c": ["Tammy", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Who set the bed on fire?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "When you meddle in someone's personal life, it's just so... rewarding.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "That is a beautiful sweater vest. You look like you could use $20. Am I right? 'Cause you're a kid and kids always need money.", "c": ["Ron", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "When Tiger Woods feels invincible, he wears a red shirt and black pants. Ron wears the same thing after he had sex.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "But this stock photo, I bought at a framing store, isn't real.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "A naked Tammy made me breakfast this morning. I should've taken a picture of it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "That's a tough one. Break up with her and tell her to go out with me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I've never taken the high road. But I tell other people to. 'Cause then there's more room for me on the low road.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Leslie, I can't thank you enough for sticking your nose where it didn't belong.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I didn't know where my flesh stopped and hers began.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "It's like doing peyote and sneezing slowly for six hours.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "She knows her way around a penis.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I can't even tell you how many of my exes' weddings I've been to.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Three fistfuls of hair? That's not even possible.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Well, I'm too classy to say I told you so, donna. So I wrote it on a post it.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "But at the end of the day what does it matter if the lot becomes a park or a museum or a mega church? / Or a library. / Nobody said library.", "c": ["Ron", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "More sex.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Les, there are two kinds of women in this world. There are women who work hard and stress out about doing the right thing and then there are women who are cool.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "You could either be a Cleopatra or you could be an Eleanor Roosevelt. / What kind of lunatic would wanna be Cleopatra over Eleanor Roosevelt?", "c": ["Tammy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Haven't you ever messed with a man's head just to see what you could get him to do for you? We do it all the time in the library department.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I would never work at the library department.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "We're no longer government gals.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "She made some really good points about libraries.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Some people like libraries.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I'm so little.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "We would just end up naked. And I'd give her your lot and my house and God knows what else.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "You are Ron freakin' Swanson!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Not around her I'm not.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "\"I let Mark nail me and we're still friends.\" / I never... I would never use those words.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "I'm on a break. One of the many advantages of owning your own business.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "You know that's not your situation, right?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "If you had to choose, who would you choose? Right now, on the spot. / I'm not sure. Why don't you spin around for me.", "c": ["Andy", "Donna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Ron brought you here to break up with me for him?", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "She volunteered.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Go to the sleaziest motel in town and wrap himself around me like a coiled snake.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Is punching allowed on the high road?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Fine, I had one dream, but no, no.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "If I'm not down in 5 min, it's only because I'm receiving a pleasure so intense...", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Andy and Ann's family shoeshine? I thought it had a nice ring to it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Is part of your moustache missing? / Yes. / There's a push pin in your face. / Leave it in.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "You didn't kill Tammy, did you? / I'm afraid she can't be killed.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Tammy is... a mean person. / Come on, you can do better than that. / She's a great A bitch.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "Every time she laughs, an angel dies. Even telemarketers avoid her. Her birth was payback for the sins of men.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "But, you know, the worst thing about her, She works for the library.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Ron And Tammy"}, {"t": "We've had someone throw acid at it, tomato sauce. Someone tried to stab it once. We really need better security here. We also need... better, less-offensive history.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Leslie, what's your design gonna be? A tree? / Joe, you work in sewage. Your department literally specializes in crap.", "c": ["Joe", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Crap is a slang term, and I don't like that term. But at least we don't specialize in losing... Like you guys.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "How does sewage always get the hottest interns?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Look at Madonna... Great singer, amazing arms. Look at O.J. Simpson... Heisman trophy winner, naked gun.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "That's not true. I've seen your fingernails. / I pay someone to do this.", "c": ["Leslie", "Donna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Only Ron can order the whole department to do something. Ron, order them to do this. / Do whatever Leslie says.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Designers, make it work. / Tim Gunn.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "I got my first job when I was nine. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "No, I have a bunion that's practically its own toe. Normally, the pain howls through my loafers like a banshee on the moors, but... for these past three minutes, it's been reduced to a faint growl.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Here. Just gimme $20 worth of art. Just something that seems personal that only I could have done. Well, tell me about yourself. No. Just paint.", "c": ["Tom", "Artist"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "I have no interest in art. Let me clarify. I have no interest in non-nude images.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Dude, what the hell kind of art is this? Looks like a lizard puking up skittles! / I'm an abstract expressionist. / No, you're a con artist, and I'm a guy that's out 20 bucks.", "c": ["Tom", "Artist"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "I know everything about this town and these murals, and that's why this is a dream come true... Literally. I have had a dream where I designed a mural. But then it turned into a nightmare because the mural started talking, and it came alive, it was whispering, and I couldn't hear what it was saying, so I leaned in close, and then it ate me. At one point, Gina Gershon was there.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Never understood the term elbow grease. I guess it's not really grease. Just hard work.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "I feel right at home as a shoeshine. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I know I'm doing it really, really well.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "That looks like something a death row convict would make in art therapy.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "You can't make art because you are art. You're beautiful... But that sucks.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "A piece of art caused me to have an emotional reaction. Is that normal?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Who's the Jesus? / That would be Greg Kinnear. / I didn't know he was from Indiana. / Yeah, you know, I read that he was.", "c": ["Ann", "Jerry", "Ann", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "He was great on ER... / Greg Kinnear wasn't in ER. / Yeah, he was. / I don't think that he was. / Who am I thinking of?", "c": ["Jerry", "Ann", "Jerry", "Ann", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "You said 'murinal'. / No, I didn't. / You said 'murinal'. I heard it. / Why don't you put that murinal in the men's room so people can murinate all over it?", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry", "Tom", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Go to the doctor. You might have a murinary tract infection. / Murinal, murinal, murinal!", "c": ["Tom", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "It's pointillism. And each dot is a photo of a citizen of the town. / No one cares. At all.", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "This is a human-sized hamster wheel that will be next to the mural, if we can get one, and it'll be spinning, and there'll be like a fat guy in it all the time like screaming and like eating raw beef and like bleeding, and like blood will come out of his mouth and stuff.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "I have one question. Why? / If you have to ask, you don't get it.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Like the Mona Lisa or the music of Squeeze.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Look at the oscars. This is our holocaust movie. This is our English Patient.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "One to one to one to one to one to one. / We all voted for ourselves, didn't we?", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "What the ****, man? / I don't know what happened. Frankly. I emitted a noise. The noise was involuntary. Sometimes a sound is just a sound, you know?", "c": ["Customer", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Ann's blows. / Don't hold back.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Only god could do that!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "It's like if you got Michelangelo and Andy Warhol and Jackson Pollock and Jim Davis from Garfield to do one painting. Imagine how good that painting would be!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Ann's in trouble. We think it might be pills. / What? / That's a lie. But this is as important.", "c": ["Leslie", "Mark", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "You made a camel. You've never heard that saying? A camel is actually a horse designed by a committee", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "I've seen you sketch things. Like poles for stop signs. That everybody stops and looks at. / By law, they're required to.", "c": ["Leslie", "Mark"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "I was gonna go to Arby's and watch Frontline.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "It's like what motels put up, and it hangs there for years, and no one ever throws acid at it.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "I'd take Jerry's Murinal over this.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "How's life in the Parks De-fart-ment? / Better than life in the Sewage De-fart-ment. Which makes more sense.", "c": ["Joe", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "The moan. The weird moan you made that was super-weird? Do you not remember that? I talked about it with the lady who went after for 1/2 hour. She said she thought it was an animal...", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "It's your basic dogs playing poker, but, with an everything's-on-fire theme.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "This is my nephew over here. And this is an attractive lady with a hamburger for a head.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "It looks like he's carrying Kinnear into the burning building. / That's because he's moonwalking. So he... Should be goin' the other way.", "c": ["Ann", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "They're changing the title to the diversity express.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "Shut up and do more art for me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "I like the green one and the red circle right here. / I'm tearing up, man.", "c": ["Andy", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Camel"}, {"t": "His new thing... Piggyback rides. Anytime you want. Piggyback! Piggyback! Move! Piggyback. Bam!", "c": ["Tom", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Giddyup!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "The only trails he's gonna be surveying are trails of lies and deception.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Not all the guys. He's never taken me. Fine, all the men.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Is this not rap?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "And just like that, the one tiny aspect of government I enjoyed was clubbed to death before my eyes.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "You want me to dial a number, and then read another number out loud? Can you handle this?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Cool.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Gross.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Holy cow. It is good to be back! Sneak attack! Damn it! I'm the pants king! Bow to me.", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I'm the pants queen! What the hell! Bow to the pants queen.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "When you're out with the boys, you gotta be ready for a good pantsing. That's why I have suspenders that connect my bra to my jeans.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I would not have pegged you as a user of mouth tobacco. I'm full of surprises, Ron.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I swallowed it. You're supposed to swallow it?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "That's why they call it chew and not swallow. Am I right, Ron? Yes, you are right.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "The only way to defeat the beast is to find the beast within.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Ron, your toast sucked. The traditional toast is 'to the hunt.' And it is said by me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I always forget because you're so pretty you're not used to rejection.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I've been on hold for an hour. I really have to pee. Can you sit here and just listen?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I know this weekend you were looking forward to a lot of man on man on man action", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "What the***? What the hell? Give me some warning. I saw a quail. Sorry, man. You snooze, you loose.", "c": ["Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I am on hold with the State Parks Department I am on hold so suck on my butt", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Maybe a deer will eat him. That'd be awesome, but I don't think that will happen, probably.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "You surprised that my breasts didn't throw my aim off?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Your favorite cake can't be birthday cake. That's like saying, your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal. I love breakfast cereal.", "c": ["Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Look, some kind of bird. Let's kill it. You talkin' to me, bitch?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "See, at my house I've got a wife and three beautiful daughters. But this trip, it is the one time of year I get to pee standing up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I've been shot! Somebody shot me in the head!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Ron, it's not that serious. I just need you to stay calm. I'm just gonna stay angry. I find that relaxes me.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "There was a bird kind of near me, and I know you want to prove yourself. No, I swear I didn't. I swear to God, I've never shot anyone.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "When I look at my palm, I see a lady's mouth french kissing a dog. Is that normal?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Seve... Eight. But I washed 'em down with plenty of fluids. You cannot drink scotch with this! You're gonna need to purge right now, okay? No, I'm not wasting 20-year scotch.", "c": ["Ron", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how pissed is he?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Maybe Ron shot himself. He has seemed really depressed lately. He was shot in the back of the head. Right, he loves the back of his head. He would never shoot himself there.", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Man is the most dangerous game. To the predator. I did smell something out there, and it wasn't human. That was pine trees.", "c": ["Tom", "Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Don't shoot! It's Craig from Reinhold Mercedes! Craig, I got you, dawg! Don't worry, I'm comin'!", "c": ["Craig", "Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "That man wasn't my brother. He was my husband! I'm pregnant... With Josh Groban's baby!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "What do you mean the squirrel... took the nuts out of the... Out of that kid's backpack... And ate 'em? That is a fact. A fact about me.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I am. I shot Ron Swanson. You shot my Mercedes? What? No. No!", "c": ["Leslie", "Craig"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I find a lot of women have problems with tunnel vision.", "c": ["Park Ranger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I let my emotions get the best of me. I just... I cared too much, I guess. I was thinking with my lady parts. I was walking, and I felt something icky. I thought there was gonna be chocolate. I don't even remember. I'm wearing a new bra, and it closes in the front. So it popped open and it threw me off. All I want to do is have babies.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "This would not happen if I had a penis! What? Bitches be crazy. I'm good at tolerating pain, I'm bad at math, and I'm stupid.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "You know, if I gave you a hickey, it would totally make Ann jealous. I don't know, I think that would... That's pretty gross. What's weird about one friend sucking on another friend's neck?", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "I gave my gay boyfriend's boyfriend a hickey, and it totally made my gay boyfriend jealous.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "You know, Leslie, the Super Bowl's in a couple months. I usually watch it with my brothers. Maybe you could come by at halftime and shoot me in the head.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Or perhaps next time I'm enjoying some alone time in the men's restroom, you could invite yourself into my stall and shoot me in the head.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Maybe the next time I'm at the doctor's office getting my prostate examined, you could come by and shoot me in the head.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "You did good. You're a real stand-up guy. I'm sorry I lost my temper. It was because I was shot in the head by a moron.", "c": ["Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Pants king. Pants queen.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hunting Trip"}, {"t": "Come on. I don't want to go to the fourth floor. That is the creepiest place on earth.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "They put a popcorn machine up there just to brighten things up, but they used the wrong kind of oil and a bunch of people had to get their throats replaced.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "They'll only talk to you or me, and I can't go. Because I don't want to.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Hey, boo, you're pretty. Thank you, sir. Are you on probation? I got clean urine. You need female, I got female.", "c": ["Fourth floor stranger", "Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Amazing. Took a risk, bought some shoes online. Paid off handsomely, as you can see.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Honestly, it's fine. Lasted longer than Avril Lavigne and the guy from Sum 41. Am I right?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I don't know what those are.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "You should have auto-saved that. That kind of feels like your fault.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I did a little research, and divorce is the number two most stressful event in a person's life. Of course marriage is number seven. So watch out, everyone. It's all bad.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Tom always seems like Mr. Slickster cool guy, but he's hiding his emotions underneath a very thick layer of axe body spray.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Don't be all like, 'I don't want to. I am a guy, and I like fire and playing hockey and eating meat. No, no, says I.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "That was a really good Ron. Thank you.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "The shoeshine stand still doesn't have that syphilis medication you were asking about.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "What a surprise running into you all day every day every single place that we are.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "we don't have those extra-small condoms you ordered. I called the factory. It's gonna take a special order. Not just because of the size, but because of the weird shape as well.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Every day I subtly chip away at their relationship, weakening it little by little.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Leslie thinks you're a wounded animal, so her female instincts are kicking in. Here's what you do. Act sad. Let her pull the thorn out of your paw and wrap a bandage around it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Thanks, Rondoleezza Rice.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "There's a really fun documentary about tandem bicycles at the art house. Supposed to be pretty unapologetic.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Strip club? Did somebody say strip club? No. Somebody say strip club? You did. I definitely heard someone say strip club. You did.", "c": ["Jerry", "Others"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "There is a great dinosaur-themed restaurant in Patterson. It is called Jurassic Fork. I have gone there three times a week for the last 15 years.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "How do you want that cooked? Medium roar. Medium rare? No, medium roar.", "c": ["Server", "Ron"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "For legal reasons, we can't make puns about the temperature of the meats.", "c": ["Server"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I'm not a big fan of group dinners where everybody splits the bill no matter what they get. I ordered a tyranno-ceasar salad, and that's all I'm paying for.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "No, I figured because pool is all about angles, and he's a failed architect, that he might want to play pool. Really? That worked?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I really wish I could have your body. What? Like, tied up, naked, in your basement?", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Well, that was weird, Jerry.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Tom is the only cool person in the office.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I love you, Tom. You're my little prince. Just want to put you in a little cape and a little hat and just fly you around.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Can I get two creme brulees and another glass of 'bronto' grigio?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I thought I had Tom all figured out, but it's almost like he's faking being sad. Why would he do that?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Step two has been completed. Easily. Very easily. Mark is pretty good at pool.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I like pretending to be sad. I now see why girls do it.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Looking at her, I... I feel like... She might be the perfect spooning size for me.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Mark is way better than me. I'm gonna... I'm gonna say that there is at least... a chance... that I didn't think this through completely.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "A t-shirt I tackled Eddie Vedder in. It's literally priceless.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "So if I win, I also get Ann. Okay, fine. If you win, then you get Ann.", "c": ["Andy", "Mark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "A cheese fountain? A ruby? A goose heart?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "You're a club promoter? Aspiring.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Like blood from a pterodactyl after it's attacked by a T-Rex.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I can't go back there. But if you see Jasmine, tell her she can keep Anthony, but I want my microwave back.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I've gone on record that if I had to have a stripper's name, it would be Equality.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I kind of feel like Jane Goodall studying the chimps. 'Cause there are some feminist scholars who say that stripping is a feminist act.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "There is a girl here that also works at Quiznos. She's really nice to me here but really mean to me at Quiznos.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I'm gonna put these in places you've never heard of.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Smells like a wet mop in here. And I get the feeling that these women is running a low-grade fever.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt of the earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field, your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopes.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "You're doing a bang-up job of looking sad about Wendy. Does she make scrambled eggs?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Take it down a notch. You already won your Oscar, DiCaprio.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I'm awesome at pool, and I hustled your ass.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I know that legally Ann is now mine, but, it weirdly doesn't feel that way.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "This is Seabiscuit. Sierra. Sorry, it's loud in here.", "c": ["Leslie", "Sierra"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "And then afterwards, reconsider your profession, but for now, grind away.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Never mind. Thank you, Seabiscuit. That'll be all.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I've been to the Glitter Factory a million times. That girl up there, she's my emergency contact.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "It's exactly how I felt when that planet earth series ended.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "I wish I wasn't alive to hear myself say this, but I am ashamed to be your deputy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "From the knees. He weighs eight pounds.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "You insensitive little hussy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "You should get married and start a club for people who betray Tom Haverford.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "You know those hangover pills you can order on TV? I threw up a bunch of them this morning and feel much better.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "My God, because you're Libyan. No, damn it. Wendy's from Canada.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "You remembered how much I like to say 'psych'.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Goodbye, A-cakes.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "You like your wife? That's a bummer. Anyone knows that you like your wife? Your wife knows that you like your wife?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "My crotch looks like a disco ball.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Toms Divorce"}, {"t": "Prepare to laugh your Asnov!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Some of the jokes are sort of inside.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "I don't want to go into the details, but let me just say that it involves multiple women, a love child, nurses, rabbis, priests...", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "I am being supported, of course, by the Glitter Factory and 1-800-Mattress.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Classic!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "But at least the raccoon infestation is under control", "c": ["Government Follies performers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "before you get in your costume, to go to the bathroom, so we can avoid what happened last year. It was just farts.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Listening to that tree lighting is gonna be dope.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "And often. Thank you, I'll be here all week!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Brokeback Mountain DVD. No. Fellows love that. No. Does he already have, like, chaps? Like assless chaps?", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "It's all I'm gonna think about, but you're in good hands. I'm gonna come up with something really, really good.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Nobody. Nobody told me nothing!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "I got the babysitter pregnant, then when she was in the delivery room, I had sex with not one, but four nurses in a supply closet, as well as a woman whose husband was getting a liver transplant.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Was it the liver lady?", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "everything I just told you was just a funny prank.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Leslie Norp", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "bent an elbow at this local watering hole", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Do you want me to seduce Perd Hapley? How would that help? I don't know. I just want to see if I can do it.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "I don't think it's something worth losing your virginity over.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "'The Parks lady boned Dexhart,' and, 'Of course she did, she's totally good to go.' And one guy was like, 'I wouldn't hit that.' And the other guy was like, 'Me neither.' And then this third guy was like, 'I would.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Except I always assumed that I would be the politician and the man would be accused of sleeping with me. And that man would be the vice president, and I would be the president.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Some people are saying this isn't the first time that you've had sex with a married councilman. Who's saying that? Some people.", "c": ["Reporter", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "This department is not gonna deputy-direct itself.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Damn, 10 items", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Use your nightstick.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Kill me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "So, yeah, I guess I'm in love with the Army. Oh, Leslie? Well, yeah. Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. Yeah, I'm definitely in love with Leslie.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "They can buy their own beer.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "That's what's called being an amazing boyfriend.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Yeah, bitch, give me more of them blood diamonds! Make them extra bloody.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "It's like she's sending him a message that she's ready for childbearing.", "c": ["TV analyst"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "he just was going, literally, to watch the Olympics.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "You're like a glass of whole milk. What are you, Lutheran? I love Lutherans.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "I'm expected at two different maternity wards.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "People already think we did it. You've got nothing to lose. I'm very good.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "First idea, spray tan gift certificates. Ugh. No. Trip to Germany?", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Indianapolis Colts' Reggie Wayne jersey, number 87, double XL, home blue, signed by Reggie Wayne right after he catches a touchdown to win the Super Bowl.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "any time you see two women standing very close to each other... you immediately assume... lesbian.", "c": ["TV analyst"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Not in this town, sweetheart. In this town, they're 24/7.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "They'll hunt the kids for sport.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "supervise the maintenance crews, and teach crafts at the senior center. Simultaneously.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Oh, no. She's not my... And in five, Joan. She's a... We're... Four. Three. You've got it wrong.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "you were flashing some serious 'do me' eyes. That's just my opinion.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "My name is Ron. You don't need to know my last name.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "I found a sandwich in one of your parks, and I want to know why it didn't have mayonnaise.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "I'm not worried about swine flu. I already have the swine flu. I'm worried about the turtle flu.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Honey, let's just keep our private life in the bedroom where it belongs.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "She has a mole on her right buttock. What? That is a total lie. You've never seen my butt.", "c": ["Dexhart", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Fine. Here, Joan. Why don't you look for yourself?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "This exclusive story, there is no mole on Miss Knope!", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "I really didn't think that Miss Knope would pull down her pants on TV, but since she did, I will admit that the rumors of our affair are indeed false.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Like I'm on a Stairmaster, except more, like, in a sexual... Context.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "There's a $75 change fee, but I could pay you that, or I could reimburse you. There's a lot of ways we could handle that.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "That took guts, mooning Joan Callamezzo!", "c": ["Leslie's mom"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "You think Winston Churchill ever had to pull his pants down and show his butt? No. But would he have? Yes. Now, could he have? Well, maybe not towards the end of his life, but he would have. Because he loved his job.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Reggie Wayne! Dude! You remembered me complaining about my computer bag!", "c": ["Mark", "Ann"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "You don't have to come to this game with me. You don't have to.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Christmas Scandal"}, {"t": "Brooks Brothers. Bought it right off the mannequin.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I've been getting a lot of visitors recently, thanks to a stupid and worthless new push to make government officials more accessible to the public.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I made this in one of your pottery classes. It's terrible.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "This is my hell.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "No dressing, no cheese, no croutons, no taste.", "c": ["Cafeteria Worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Salami on pumpernickel with olive juice and extra iceberg.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I just wish I'd liked it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I asked the police department if I could have it and they said no, so I stole it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Although that's pretty much why I broke up with Andy. He lived way too close to me.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "So?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "In the eight years I've been at the job, I've saved the taxpayers of this city more than 150 grand. But now, I need the taxpayers' money to save me from the taxpayers.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "This looks like an ad for nothing.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Please be careful with it, it's my only copy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Is a friend of mine! That's my motto, too.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Is it locking up the bad guys or keeping them on the streets?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "it was invented to warm up baby bottles.", "c": ["Justin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "You are wearing the hell out of that suit, sir. Banana, two-button.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I come in, like, two hours late because I had to finish watching Swimfan because it was on, and everyone, like, jumped down my throat.", "c": ["Intern/Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I have been writing a lot of songs about shining shoes lately. I tend to write about what I'm doing.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Talking about writing about what I'm doing. Now I'm singing about talking about writing about what I'm doing", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "He has the brains of George Clooney in the body of Joe Biden.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Interesting. That's uh, weird.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I don't want to date a twin, 'cause I've been tricked before.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Ron Solo!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, my friends know that I have a strict no call policy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Oh, damn, now I have to go back.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Well done, Ann. I actually heard that.", "c": ["Leslie", "Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "You know, isn't it funny how these setups are always just so awkward?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I will now extinguish this candle with my bare hand.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "It looked so much easier on the Internet.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Oh no thanks. I'm not thirsty.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "He practically saved my life. He was, like, the only cool dude at my high school.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I got a nightclub opening to go to. Which tie do I wear?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "That was a trick question. The answer's this one.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Did you ever see that movie The Matrix? 99% real.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "or the potatoes or this candle or this beer or this flower or this bread.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Yeah but what's inside that bread? Could be cheese.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Frankly, I don't want to invest in someone who only has three months to live.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "And how creepy their grandfather was.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Sometimes smiling is read as AIDS.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I wait eight weeks and I text her, 'What's cracking?'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Covering for me at any legally dicey situations.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "In the immortal words of Rod Blagojevich, 'It's a (fucking) valuable thing. You just don't give it away for nothing.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "You got a big, industrial-sized oven.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Leslie is a notoriously cruel and thoughtless person.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "We almost wheeled you out of here in a chair.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Imagine if you had spent rest of your life sipping a steak through a straw.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "and I'll wait respectful amount of time. I don't know, maybe?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I should have noticed that you're missing a heart.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Hey, do you mind if we pick up my son Nate at his basketball game on the way back?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Ooh you slept together? What? Not sexually. God what's wrong with you, Tom?", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Seems like the shoe is in the other foot. And the guy who polishes shoes is now me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I would say, in terms of guys that she's in love with, Justin's up here, I'm up here, and then you're down here.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Well, I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't crazy, so, naturally, I came to you for reassurance.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Maybe if you had, I wouldn't have left.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Well, frankly, I would like to hit that, but Ann's being a little weird about it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Two, who is that hot intern chick out there? Because honestly, damn!", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I want to punch you in the face so bad right now.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "If anyone comes to see you, I'll scare them away.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "You're hired.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "I'm back on the horse, and this horse is a lawyer, so I'm looking forward to riding him. No, wait.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Ten months ago, she was an intern who could give a C-R-A-P about local government. Now, she's our newest employee.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Attagirl.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Set Up"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, this year we will have to remove five jewels from that crown.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "My class is called 'Coping with Terminal Illness.'", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Hopefully your attendance is good! Actually, no, hopefully it's bad.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "It's where I learned hair braiding, and how to make biscuits, and French kissing. The French kissing was just from a boy in my biscuits class, but either way, lesson learned.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "That fish over there kind of reminds me of my mom. Why? It's just being really withholding.", "c": ["Leslie", "Justin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Isn't it great? It's camel stomach. Is it? I'm teasing, I'm teasing. It's chicken.", "c": ["Justin", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "I've racked my brain and I can't come up with one exciting idea.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Well, maybe just have him over and cook him some chicken and tell him it's Pawnee cockatoo.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "No, I actually meant more like a one-on-one thing. I know what you meant, but I took your idea and I made it better. It's called a think tank, Ann.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "How many courses will there be? Three. Four. Not including dessert. So, five courses. Yes. Now, it will be five courses.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "And you, out of all my friends, come from the most distant and exotic land. South Carolina?", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "What are you guys talking about? Nothing. Don't worry about it. What?", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Hey, it's me, Justin. Take my coat. But please, be careful. I got it from the king of Africa when we were walking on the Berlin Wall together.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Hi, Kyle. You know, right before you sat down, I noticed, did you have some kind of stain on your ass, or something? What was that?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Now, I can believe it.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "This newspaper's from November, 1986. Oh, the first rumblings of Iran-Contra! Don't throw that out!", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "I think I need to call Child Services and have Leslie taken away from herself.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Your house is like a crazy person's garage.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "I might need it. What about this one? Well, if two birds come along?", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Shake my hand. Why? I can't tell if I've exfoliated too much. I don't want to creep Justin out. I want him to respect my handshake.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. I don't have the heart to tell them what's going to happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Ew! It's like touching raw chicken. Damn it. Gonna have to re-foliate them.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Oh! No, no, I insist on paying. No, no, I insist on demonstrating. This is not gonna affect my decision at all. Oh, of course not. Stop winking.", "c": ["Leslie", "Teacher", "Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Five courses. Of what? Huh? Of what? Oh, God.", "c": ["Teacher", "Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "You've been here? Right.", "c": ["Leslie", "Mark"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Oh! Sex.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "That was after I told him that I sometimes go swimming at the Y.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "No, no, no! No talking. Everybody stop talking until Justin gets here. Don't use up your stories.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Please, have a good time and shut your mouth.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "There are very few things I've asked for in this world. To build a new park from scratch. To eventually become president. And to one day solve a murder on a train.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Really, really, just like the best, most exciting night of your life. I cannot over-hype it enough.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "I have the swine flu. Oh... No, she doesn't.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "He got it in Cambodia, when he was hiking Mount Everest.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "I'm being sarcastic. That would be awesome.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? My uncle practically runs the place. I've prayed there. It's sick.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "The last time I was in India, I was eight years old and I stayed inside the whole time playing video games. I got to bone up.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "So my face is literally on fire, but it's this weird chemical, so no one can see the flames. I'm dancing around, freaking out. I end up having to dunk my face into a bucket of sand.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Didn't happen to me. It was a kid I knew from camp. But a great story's a great story. Well, plus, the kid can't tell it, his mouth melted.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "How could you invite Wendy when Ron's here? He's gonna wrap her up in his moustache and take her home.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Don't do that, Tom!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Derek and Ben are gay, but often, on occasion, April will have relations with Derek. Right? Crazy stuff. Discuss that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Who else is gay?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Poor Tommy. He has a very frail colon.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "A belly dancer? What? It's weird, but she just showed up. I mean, I'm not the kind of person that's gonna throw someone out, or, you know, not let them in if they randomly show up.", "c": ["Justin", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "You know, people hear about a killer party at Knope's house, they all come running.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Yeah. He's actually kind of awesome. You're underage.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "When it comes to choosing accounting software, there's no accounting for taste.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.42, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "But I can't, because Leslie loves using people for her own gain.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "I put a beautiful man in front of an adorable man-child. You're ruining it. I put a big white stallion in front of a little brown pony. Totally uncalled for.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Were you aware that all of the entertainment and food was provided by rec center teachers? Would I have stayed if I knew that? I don't know, would you have? Would you have?", "c": ["Questioner", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Oh. No. I'm sorry. We're closed, due to betrayment.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Wow. Unbetrayed.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "I had an awesome time which had nothing to do with the rec center teachers. No further questions.", "c": ["Justin", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "It's every girl's dream to ask a dude how their date went under penalty of perjury.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "there is now an official government document that proves my dinner party kicked ass.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "I'm not gay, but you're the most incredible man I've ever met. That doesn't sound gay at all.", "c": ["Tom", "Justin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Leslies House"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Tom Haverford. I work at the Parks Department. It's a little douchie.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Who am I supposed to ask for fashion advice? Jerry? He wears the same soup-stained khakis every day.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Justin's my savior. He's like an issue of GQ that's come to life.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Tommy Timberlake. You look like Encyclopedia Brown.", "c": ["Justin", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Hey, what's up? I'm Tom. Is my shirt lighting up? 'Cause I didn't even notice.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Be honest. Which cane do you like better? Dragon? Serpent?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Belt buckle, says, 'What's cracking?' I can have it say whatever I want. It can say, 'What's cracking? I'm Tom. What's cracking, girl? What's cracking, boo?'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Well, as far as white, leather suits go... It's horrible. I like it.", "c": ["Justin", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Wow, that family looks so healthy. Look at them. They're all wearing vests!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Sorry, shoelace, we don't make nutriyums For dogs... Yet.", "c": ["Nick Newport Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks. Everything operated by tokens. Drop in a token, go on the swing set. Drop in another token, take a walk. Drop in a token, look at a duck.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Brendanawicz! Quick question, do you personally know Xzibit? Because I was checking out that pickup truck of yours, and that ride is pimped!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "It's really nice of you to compliment my pickup truck with no ulterior motives.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "You can bring up the Mark-mobile, help me move, right?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "I'm totally blanking on a valid excuse right now, so, yes. I'll help you.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "I (fucking) hate having a pickup truck.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Afterwards, I'll take the cardboard from the boxes and use it for break dancing.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "'Cause an hour ago you told me you'd rather watch a sex tape of your grandparents.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "I think that that's really, really sweet, that your grandparents still make love.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "What are you, 5'11\", 210 pounds, three whiskeys? Looks like you are just over the line into impaired.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "You carry that with you all the time? It comes in handy. And on the back, it teaches you how to play blackjack.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Swansons have a preternaturally high tolerance for alcohol. My old man used to put Wild Turkey on his Corn Flakes.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "After I got home, I drank six more glasses of whiskey and then I finished crafting this small harp, using a band saw, a spoke shave and an oscillating spindle sander.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Here are some photographs of me drinking the whiskey. You'll notice I'm holding up yesterday's newspaper, so you can tell that I'm not lying.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "I'm not a mover! I'm a sap who owns a truck.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Terrific's not more than amazing, Jerry. No? Well, it's not less.", "c": ["Andy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Krackel bars, also healthy and delicious. No, they're not. Yeah. They actually have rice in them. So...", "c": ["Jerry", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Andy, you're fine, but you're simple.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Ann! Oh! Look at you! You're looking pretty unhealthy today. You might need one of these, NutriYum, by Sweetums.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "No, they're not. There's a picture of Lance Armstrong on there. Yeah, but look at the ingredients.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Generally, I like to stay out of other people's business. But Pawnee is the fourth most obese city in America. The kids here are beefy. They're just husky, big-boned, plus-sized chunk monsters. I call them like I see them.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "You're pretty cocky for someone whose job is obsolete because of the Internet.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "You seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm.", "c": ["Marci"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Punk-ass book jockeys!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "I care about the people's right to consume whatever they want.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Sidebar, Paul. Ron's upset because I didn't let him drive last night.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Dude, Deep Blue Sea. Greatest movie ever made. That's the Canadian version, 22 extra minutes, and there's a bonus audio track where LL Cool J raps all his dialog.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "No, it's a spare room I converted into a walk-in closet/home fitness center.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor cleaning robots. I call him 'DJ Roomba.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "What's hot, DJ Roomba? DJ Roomba, tearing it up!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "The whole point of this country is, if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can. You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "If sugar is so bad, how come Jesus made it taste so good?", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "What's so bad about corn syrup? It's natural. Corn's a fruit. Syrup comes from a bush.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Well, the point is, my friend thinks you're cute. Give me your number so he can have it.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "I think we ought to throw those bars out and eat ham-and-mayonnaise sandwiches. Ham and mayonnaise!", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Uh-uh. That's it. My baby has a delicate suspension. Put it in your truck, Brendanawicz.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Cheap, delicious, sugary corn is currently being used by farms to fatten up their cows and pigs. Look how fat those cows are! Fat, happy and docile, the way we like them.", "c": ["Nick Newport Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "No, we just thought it'd be funny to see April doing physical labor.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Why don't you get some Canadian bacon on it, since you're from Canada. And sausage, 'cause I am brown and spicy.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Denver, you little son of a bitch.", "c": ["Nick Newport Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Jerry! You stepped on DJ Roomba! You killed him! I built him myself. He was like a son to me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "All those who would like the bloated corpse of the government to keep running the snack bars at taxpayer expense, raise your hands. And all those in favor of letting this heartless corporation, Sweetums, stuff your children with sugary crap, raise your hand.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Everybody go home, pack away my stuff in your own houses. Then on Monday, pack it back up, meet me at my new place, unload it there.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Just chillaxin' like your new bro, Andy. Yeah. Wanna play some Hacky Sack later, maybe listen to Blues Traveler?", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "You know, for a gay couple, you guys are being really gay.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "I call this 'turf and turf.' It's a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "By the way, maybe it's none of my business, but if you eat three pounds of steak every day, you're gonna die, and although I've already written your eulogy, and it's incredibly touching, I would prefer not to give it for a while.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "'O Captain! My Captain! Ron Swanson, a swan song.' Yeah, and it gets better from there.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "You wanna watch me rollerblade in the parking lot after work? I'm pretty awesome. I used to be really good. That was, like, 70 pounds ago.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Just kidding! I don't fall!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "This is the ghost of DJ Roomba. Why did you kill me? I'm gonna haunt you, Jerry. I'm gonna follow you and play the Black Eyed Peas on a non-stop loop!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Sweetums"}, {"t": "Leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, And we just come and kick it, breakfast-style. Ladies celebrating ladies. It's like lilith fair, Minus the angst. Plus frittatas.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "It makes the notebook look like saw v.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Go, mom, go.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You've heard this story before, right? Yes, but the drama.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I got to take one of those lifeguard courses. Those guys get all the action. Am I right, justin?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "running_gag"], "cr": 4.47, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "He's probably married. Or dead. what's the difference? Am I right, justin?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "But if you find him and he's weird, Like a ventriloquist or a puppeteer Or anyone who pretends toys are people, Then abort the mission.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I knew, eventually, somehow, Being in a relationship with you would totally pay off.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "He was using a bathrobe. And I bought him some other things that humans usually use, Like shampoo.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Those people are old! Am I right, justin? Oh. Justin's not here.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "And, no offense, but everybody here is terrible at love. Divorced, dating a gay guy, divorced twice,", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I've been happily married for 28 years. You've met my wife gayle many times. Whatever.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I didn't volunteer. Yeah, too bad. You got drafted.", "c": ["Mark", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "ask not what Your old people could do for you. Ask what you could do for your old people. Terminator. What? No. Jfk. this meeting Has been terminated. that is the terminator.", "c": ["Leslie", "Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Jay-z drinks this. Yeah, well, jay-z doesn't have To perform surgery in an hour. You don't know jay-z's schedule. He's a renaissance man.", "c": ["Tom", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "But think about how much better our friendship would be If we added doing it.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "So there's that one, I guess.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Bottom line: It's called sex hair. It's about how you can tell when someone's just had sex 'cause of how their hair gets matted up in the back.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Dude, kyle, I'm gonna lose my on you If you ask me one more time.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You're asking my permission to take a nooner? Sure. Well, I don't know. Maybe.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "For our nooner, which is a cute word. Explain it to her later. Explain what?", "c": ["Leslie", "Justin", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I love bears and bags.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You know, I never had a chance to get a girl A cliched valentine's day gift before, So I got you all of 'em.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll call him pappy. Pop. Poppy. Papa. Oh, look at me, I'm getting ahead of myself. Hey, you never know. I'm gonna call him poo-paw.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "What if I told you that you could reunite romeo and juliet? Or brad pitt and jennifer aniston? Oh, jen, I really want you to be happy. Stay away from john mayer.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Oh, no, poo-paw. Poo-paw, no.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Though I did once act as my own lawyer.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Such firm breasts. Oh, that was inappropriate.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I'm gonna throw up real quick, And then we can leave.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Because old people are funny. Yeah. It'll be like the golden girls.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.03, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "So you were in the military? Nope.", "c": ["Leslie", "Frank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Uh, I mean, that sucked, didn't it?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "But I can't-- if that happens here, My eyes will fall out of my head, and I'll die.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You know, I might be crazy, But I have this weird suspicion That things are going well with us.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Yes, nerd, on paper, This thing we have is pretty great.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, he cried himself to sleep.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You gonna try to check me into an old folks' home?", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "come here, sonny. Let me tell you about the civil war. Grandpa, leave me alone. You smell like death.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "This is insane. Yeah, it's insane, but it's all I got.", "c": ["Unknown", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "So your plan was to sue me And then to use that to blackmail me Into falling in love with you? Yeah.", "c": ["Unknown", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Hey, these old bags paid for some entertainment, So get... No, you're right. Up there.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Are you guys-- Never mind. Why do you care? I don't.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Got a job at a grocery store Right out of college. Just for a way to make money. Here I am, 40 years later, Completely unemployed.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You're not serious, right? Serious as a heart attack. Of which I've had four.", "c": ["Marlene", "Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Take one last look, marlene, Because you'll never see this body again.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "yes, I'll take you For an ice cream malt, and then we can go choose our caskets.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "God, why does everything we do have to be cloaked In, like, 15 layers of irony?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Then I'll make out with ben. Pass. No, he's my boyfriend. You can either make out with both of us or none of us. Fine. None of you. Fine.", "c": ["April", "Andy", "April", "Andy", "April", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "He's a tourist. He vacations in people's lives, Takes pictures, Puts 'em in a scrapbook, and moves on.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "It's duke silver. Duke, can I have your autograph? I love your music. You're mistaken, ladies. Move along.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You sound like dean martin. If I were 50 years younger... Ew. Wait, who's dean martin?", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "If I'm not mistaken, that was The old lady version of flashing. Nailed the gig.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I would hardly call what he does coaching.", "c": ["Coach"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Wow. Excellent role modeling.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Every child has the right to play, no matter how boring the sport.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I'm the girls' coach. She's the boys' coach. Oh. Okay. Sorry. That's sexist.", "c": ["Leslie", "Coach"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I'm a boy. Good. Yeah. 'Cause I wasn't talking to you.", "c": ["Leslie", "Child"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Jerry! You got soup all over our mail! You jerk.", "c": ["Unknown", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I have been a dues-paying member since I was nine.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "The IOW is proud to announce this year's Dorothy Everton Smythe Female Empowerment Award Winner, Ronald Swanson.", "c": ["Reader"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "They only honor women. And Ron's the opposite of a woman.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Well, it's about time.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "However, she cares way too much about crap like this, which is why I can't pass up this opportunity to tease her about it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Hey, Freddy. Good news! Your liquor license renewal got got, yo.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Maybe call it something like Club-a-Dub-Dub or The Clubmarine, sort of a submarine-themed club.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Or Tom's Bistro. The word 'bistro' is classy as.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I agree. That's why I got into public service. To help me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "$10,000. That's chump change.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Write an e-mail to Barack Obama. Lock myself in my office and scream until I lose my voice.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "No way. Yesterday, if you would have asked me, I would've said no, but thank God, my grandfather just died, so I am flush with cash!", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Also, sorry about your grandpa. No worries. He was a dick.", "c": ["Tom", "Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I don't get anything until I'm 50, which is a waste, 'cause I'm gonna be a billionaire in Costa Rica by then, eating dolphins and hanging out with lady singers.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Also, The Bag of Smells was a fun experiment, but it has to stop.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Come on! No. We're finally starting to get serious results.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "That's not a working fireplace, Andy. Stop writing phone messages on the wall, Andy. Dude, seriously, I love you but stop digging that weird hole in the backyard.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Well, we're not Mouse Rat anymore. We changed it to Tackleshaft.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "April, you're like an angel with no wings. So, like, a person?", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Really? You're saying a women's organization made a mistake?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Yes. Camp Xena. Athena. Camp Athena. You don't even know the name. I almost got it. I was pretty close. No.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Look, Leslie, your job, which you're great at, is making me look good. Which you've clearly done well because I'm getting an award. Right?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Well, it's a man's world, Winston. Get used to it. I'm a man.", "c": ["Leslie", "Child"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Dress code? Black tie optional. Just like life.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I'm doing my official portrait for the IUD Awards Dinner Program. IOW.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Which of these objects most represents women for this portrait? A pot? Or this Deputy Director Barbie?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I'm going to help my boss win an award.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I've won an award.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I can afford, like, 300 bucks a month. I've always wanted a doorman named Ernie. That'd be awesome. Or Kipp. I'm pretty flexible on that.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Here's a great one. It's a Tudor mansion. It's got seven rooms, four bathrooms. It's got a tennis court, a pool and a three-car garage. What? And it's only $20,000 a month. And it's in Chicago. Ah! That close! It was almost perfect.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Ladies! Jay-Z. Rihanna. Audrina Patridge. Jon Gosselin. Lady Gaga. Snooki.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "For the small price of only one, one, one, thousand, thousand, thousand dollars, dollars, dollars!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Mark, I'm talking to you! Donna, I'm talking to you! Jerry! I'm talking to you! Mark! I'm talking to you!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I have the Dorothy Every Time Smurf Girl Trophy for excellence in female stuff.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Come on, Leslie, you know I'm not sexist. I love powerful women. You do attend a shocking number of WNBA games.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "She was the first woman in Pawnee to wear pants on a Sunday. She spent four years in jail for that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "The acoustics in the bathroom are insane.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I could definitely picture myself doing something over there.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "It screams Andy Dwyer.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "We could do the usual boring stuff like eat some chicken salad with some crackers, or watch the pay-per-view, or we could go to my nightclub and do some dancing.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "You'd never have to beg for sex again. I don't wanna get into this, really, but I don't beg for sex now.", "c": ["Tom", "Mark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Just to be clear, you wouldn't be an owner, per se. You, me and my boy, Jean-Ralphio, would each own part of a share.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "We didn't make a mistake. We made a very conscious decision this year to choose a man.", "c": ["Elise"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Well, every year, we give it to a woman, and, frankly, nobody cares.", "c": ["Elise"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Well, we're giving it to you. So, you're gonna take it, like a man.", "c": ["Elise"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "The IOW is a bunch of sexist jerks who need to get back in the kitchen where they belong, and leave the real feminist work to actual feminists like Ron Swanson!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I won't. I'm gonna push my punches as far as my fists can extend!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Step three, I dagger you on the dance floor. Just bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce Now, all the ladies say it Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I'm out. Why? I hate that guy.", "c": ["Donna", "Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "The two lines I've put into every song I've ever sang, 'Spread your wings and fly,' and 'You deserve to be a champion.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Every award, from the smallest trophy to the Nobel Prize, is nothing more than... Is nothing more than a great way to honor someone.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "So, I would like to present this year's Dottie English Whatever Award to the person who actually deserves it, Leslie Knope.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "I don't want it. Just take the damn thing. You deserve it. No, no. Really. No, Ron, you deserve it. Really, but I don't want it. But you won it. And you should win it.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I'm investing. I'm like Warren Buffay.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "What are you doing here? I bought three shares. Thanks for the tip.", "c": ["Tom", "Donna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Woman Of The Year"}, {"t": "Valentine's Day was a month ago. / Why are you giving it to me now? / Whatever. Happy early Valentine's Day.", "c": ["Ann", "Character with bear"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "This is one of those nanny-cam teddy bears, isn't it? / What? No. It's a regular, camera-less teddy bear.", "c": ["Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Just put it in your bedroom, don't even think about it. It's a robot bear. It's programmed to snuggle!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "I'll take it. / Donna, there's a camera in it. / I know.", "c": ["Donna", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Can I read your mail? / No. Please, don't. / Fine.", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Don't let Tom make a copy. / That's right. Good.", "c": ["Ann", "April"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "I've seen the way she takes care of her house.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "I don't like Ann. / Become friends. Who knows?", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "I've always dreamed of you. / Excuse me? / Meeting you.", "c": ["Leslie", "Evelyn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Fairway Frank is this awful possum who lives near the sixth hole... he's actually number three on the Parks Department's Most Wanted Pest List", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "right behind the bats, who like to poop on the bell tower, and Poopy, the raccoon who poops all over the high school cafeteria", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Let's be honest. Animal Control is not the most effective branch of our government. They're a bunch of burned-out morons.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Ma'am, the next time we speak, we shall be dancing on the grave of a possum.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Right this way is the exit.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Yo, police! / No, you're not. Coffee!", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "I only ever bring you coffee. / And it is my very favorite non-alcoholic hot drink, except for hot tea. And hot orange juice, weirdly delicious.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "I got a really bad case of shoeshine head today.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "It's when you shine too many shoes and the fumes create a thunderstorm in your brain.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Cures include coffee, cheeseburgers", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "and napping on the floor.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "You don't have any code violations, do you? / [Long pause] / Nope.", "c": ["Mark", "Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "We'll get to it first thing Monday. / Today's Wednesday.", "c": ["Eugene", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "We're acting under direct orders from Mayor Gunderson's dog.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "That would be Harris and Brett. / But they're not here. / Isn't that them, there? / Nope.", "c": ["Eugene", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Want your ball back? Come with me. / Oh, man! / How you know my name, homie?", "c": ["Leslie", "Brett"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "I used to love Tiger Woods because he was a great champion. But after that sex scandal? The man is a god!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "You are the first non-me to set foot in this building in 10 years.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Sure it is. It's up to the Swanson Code.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "It's the same liberty that gives me the right to fart in my own car. Are you gonna tell a man that he can't fart in his own car?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "This says it should be recharged June of 1996. / Those dates are arbitrary. They're like those expiration dates that the government forces companies to put on yogurt and medicine.", "c": ["Mark", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "How long do you think it would take me to learn golf, Leslie? / I could teach you... / Yeah, I don't want to do all that. I think I just want some of those dope pants.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Move! Get out of the way!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Come on, Brendanawicz, relax. Let me make you a canoe.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Andy will come in to... / Andy! / I got it!", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "You're next, Poopy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Please, my friends call me Andy Radical. / No, we don't.", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "By day, Andy Dwyer, shoeshine-ist. By a different time of day, Andy Radical, possum tackler. And by night, I do whatever I want. No job.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "How about an extra recycling can? No. Laminated bus pass? No. / What time do you usually go to sleep? Because my best ideas usually come to me at night.", "c": ["Leslie", "Evelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Am I sure the possum we caught is Fairway Frank? Yes. Am I quite sure? No. Am I sure enough? Maybe.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "As a city official, it's important that I ask myself a lot of questions. Does doing so help me make decisions? Uh...", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "And then afterwards, had sex with Mark and everyone talked about it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "So, I thought to myself, 'Don't think, Andy, act.' / So, you weren't thinking? / Not at all. I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking.", "c": ["Andy", "Shauna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "You know what? 'Friends' sounds stupid. Colleagues.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "They are bad at sharing, but they are good at tag.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "I broke up with Ann. Yeah. Shortly after she kicked me out and told me we wouldn't be together anymore.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Of all the things I thought would bring us back together, catching a possum was never on that list.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Seriously, man, when you wear these clothes, you just feel better than everyone else. You know? / Yeah.", "c": ["Tom", "Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Ooh. Tommy needs a banana. You guys good?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Ooh. Silly me. There was this little pom-pom on my glove and it fell off. Have you seen it? Could you help me look for it real quick?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Fairway Frank / You're gonna die / You're gonna fry, oh, yeah / You guilty son of a bitch / You're gonna fry / When they flip that switch", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Hypothetically, if you were going on a mission to, say, catch a guilty whale...", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Not because I'm pissed at Andy, which I'm not. Because I care so deeply about possums. / Because they're so adorable.", "c": ["Mark", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "I think I nailed it. I fell off the stool once when I was trying to look serious, but I'm okay.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Man, our happy reactions are super different.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Mr. Campopiano, those are photos of three different possums. / Huh.", "c": ["Mark", "Campopiano"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Can you do that, April? April, can you do that? Can you get the possum out of here? Can you sneak it out of here? April, can you do it? Can you do it? Please, April, tell me you can do it!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "I can't kill the possum, because it might be innocent. I can't let the possum go, because it might be guilty. I can't make a good soup, can't do a handstand in a pool, can't spell the word 'lieutenant.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Help! Help, my arm looks like it's bleeding! / Holy cow! Leslie! / Oh, boy. Oh, look how much it's bleeding. Everybody look at it. Everybody look over here!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "It's ketchup! / Is it? / Jerry. Jerry. Yes. It's ketchup.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Baby meerkats do not start foraging for food until about one month old.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Does he want to have sex with a dead possum? / No! No. He's not a monster.", "c": ["Leslie", "Evelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "He wants to stuff it and hang it above the urinal in his office bathroom so that little flecks of pee can get on it forever.", "c": ["Evelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "And I will not reveal his location, no matter how much you ask me. But I'm going to stop talking now because I'm afraid I may accidentally say where it is, so please go.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "But security footage later revealed that it was actually a goose. / That's great. / No, it's awful, Tom. How would you feel if you killed an innocent duck and let a vicious goose waddle free?", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "The possum got loose at Ann's house.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "It must love tacky pictures of flowers.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Those city planning guys can be real pains in the ass. / Okay. I just want you to know that I still don't think city codes... / Ron, shut up.", "c": ["Andy", "Mark", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "And if the Swanson Code happens to overlap with the City Government Code... / Shut up.", "c": ["Ron", "Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "What if it laid eggs in the bed?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "He's gonna be pissed at me. I already ruined his big day, and it's my fault that it's in Ann's house, who he's obviously still in love with.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Oh. April. / He'll forgive you. / You think so? / Yeah.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "And, April, any time you want to talk about boys... / Oh, my God! Stop!", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "'I wouldn't have been able to do it without an early-morning caffeine boost from the amazing April Ludgate. She gave me the liquid courage I needed to wrestle that beast to the ground.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "And I want to be wearing a huge, beautiful, blue hat!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "Possum. There was a possum. We captured a possum and we brought it into your house and it got out and it might have laid eggs in your bed.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "And it went into your laundry and your kitchen, and it touched all your bras and I'm so sorry. It's our fault.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "April, run! / Run, April. Sorry, Ann! I love you!", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "The Possum"}, {"t": "No, they don't win a hummingbird. I installed hummingbird feeders in all the parks, so the winner gets to refill those feeders.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Scientifically, hummingbirds are the world's cutest animals. I mean, they're so small. And they have tiny beaks. And they only eat sugar water. I mean, what beats that?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Come on. Baby monkeys in diapers? Yeah. They do.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Not me. Not me. Not me. Not me. Jerry. Yeah!", "c": ["Office workers"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "This is my third time in a row. Just a bad luck streak, buddy. Next time, I'm sure it will definitely be one of us. But it won't be me. Because I always write...", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "No, I always write my own name. But just to be safe, I do add 20 extra 'Jerry's.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "I thought Freddy Spaghetti OD'd. No. That's Mr. Funny Noodle. And he didn't OD, his drummer shot him.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Maybe he fell into the toilet. Remember when he fell into the toilet?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry, guys. Sorry I'm late. I got confused and took a shower, after I got dressed, because I'm Jerry.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "A 'schlemiel' is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party. A 'schlimazel' is the guy he spills it on. Jerry is both the 'schlemiel' and the 'schlimazel' of our office.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "And then I put my underwear on my head instead of my butt.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Okay. Okay, guys. That's enough. Unless somebody has another good one.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Jerry, are you okay? Ann, is Jerry okay? What's wrong with your arm? Ann, tell me what's wrong with Jerry's arm. Jerry, talk to me. Ann, get Jerry to talk to me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Why? Did you throw out your shoulder trying to swing a honey pot off your hand?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Ew! Is that code for some kind of weird sex act? Lord Sheldon is my dog. My wife named him. Ew!", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "How did you counter-attack? Fist to the throat? Did you hit him in the beanbag? There's no shame in attacking a criminal's beanbag.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "No, I just curled up and laid still until they left. Well, that's another way to play it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "If even one of them had a unique scar, we got them. I didn't get a good look. Damn it, Jerry. Sorry. You're the victim. Sorry. Sorry.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Wouldn't it be karma if we were the ones that got mugged? Yeah. That's how pathetic Jerry is. He can't even get karma right.", "c": ["Tom", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Our friend got mugged this morning. And we will not let that happen in vain. He doesn't have a black eye. Well, frankly, the whole department has a black eye.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Jerry's face is the symbol of failure. Our failure to keep the parks safe.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "So, when you say that you want me to check in with the police liaison, you mean hook up with him, right? No. Just check in with him.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "We certainly are a bunch of weaklings. Especially Tom. I am not a weakling. Arm wrestle me right now.", "c": ["Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "I think I'm more than holding my own here... Three, four, five... Hey. Six. Hey! How you doing? Not too bad.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "The black guy with the Looney Tunes ties? I love him. No. Jerry who works with Leslie.", "c": ["Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "That Jerry? Yeah. He got mugged? Oh. Well, I mean, that's kind of a bummer, too.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Scrotation Marks. I don't know what you're talking about, but my gut says no.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "How are people going to become fans if they literally don't know the name of the band they're listening to?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "The problem is, when you're his girlfriend, you're also his mother, and his maid and his nurse. He's completely helpless. He's like a baby in a straightjacket.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Ooh! 'Baby in a Straightjacket.' That's a good band name. I should tell him that.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Ha-ha, guys. Really funny. Where's the real banner? We only had an hour. So did I. Look what I did.", "c": ["Jerry", "Office workers", "Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Really. My gosh, you should not have gone to all this trouble. Oh. It's no trouble for our buddy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "He needs a lot of support. Tom. Talking about a bra for a man.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Jerry? I don't... I don't think your computer is plugged in. I'm sorry, guys. Just got to power up.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "You went on a vacation and you chose Muncie, Indiana? Yeah. My wife and I have a time-share. In Muncie? Tom, Muncie is a lovely city.", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "I said 'twout' instead of 'trout.' It happens to everyone. My marbles are full of mouth today.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Is it hot in here? I feel hot. Are you guys hot? How you guys doing? I'm good. You guys got any snacks?", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "I wanted to read the book first, but then I realized there's no book version of Avatar.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "I was wearing this t-shirt that said 'Kiss me, I'm Irish.' But no one would kiss me.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Well, you might not be so confident once you've walked a mile in my size sevens. Kind of small feet. Actually, seven is the worldwide average. Boom!", "c": ["Carl", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "In the scenario you just laid out, you're the pervert. You understand that, right?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "There was this one, How Far is Too Far Enough: The Teri Palliber Lonergan Story. This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her, and he hid in her house. And then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Oh! What's up now, mugger? Ann, that was awesome. That was really good.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "And after that, I'm going to show you this log I found. It's got, like, fifty worms on it. I call it 'worm log.'", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, my parents used to make me hang out in the backyard a lot and just run around until I got tired. But if there's any criminals out there watching, I never get tired. And ladies, too.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "The first one got pushed into the creek by some kids. The second one, raccoons got onto. There was urine everywhere. And the third one was recently stolen. What's this one? This is the second one. The raccoon piss one.", "c": ["Carl", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Oh. That's Tom, probably. Are you serious? Tom, can you get off, please? Just run alongside the cart, okay?", "c": ["Carl", "Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "But just promise me you'll be ready, because, I mean, I don't want to destroy you.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Andy. [implied unconscious/defeated state]", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "With budget cuts, we can't afford a single safety light. There's been 10 assaults already this year. Wow. Really? Can't you station a Park Ranger out here? We have! Who do you think they're assaulting?", "c": ["Carl", "Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "You guys have got to slow down. Can I just take a rest for a minute? No, Tom. Sorry. No can do. Sun's going down and it's real dangerous out here.", "c": ["Tom", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Sorry I squeezed your lights out there, son. No worries. Will you show me how to do that move, though?", "c": ["Ron", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "This is my co-worker, Jerry Gergich. Diabetic. Sloppily out of shape. Friend.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Who's next? Your frumpy uncle? Your simple neighbor? Your unpopular co-worker?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "So... Make sure you bring the doofus who got his ass kicked. I don't know who you're referring to. We treat everyone with respect around here.", "c": ["Paul", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "He can't talk right now because he has hysterical muteness from trauma. Correct.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "And Lord Sheldon... He lunged at a bird, I dropped the burrito, and it landed on a log in the creek. So, I go to reach for it, I lose my balance, and I fall on my shoulder really weird.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Damn, Jerry! You jumped in a creek for a burrito? What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Kill your wife?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Oh! Hey! Ann Perkins, in the 'shoe-shouse.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "I got you one of those veggie muffins that you're always eating. Score. Yeah. It tastes like a rug. Shut up. Don't hit me.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Since when did he start doing stuff for other people? Now, I actually am worried that something happened to his brain.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "A citizen handed in a very interesting home video that I think the people of Pawnee will find very interesting.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "There he is. This is my favorite part. Not willing to share with a dog.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Fine. I'll have sex with you in exchange for the tape. That's not what I am saying. Okay?", "c": ["Leslie", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "I finally saw Avatar and I thought it lived up to the hype. Well, I'm not sure what that has to do with the mugging. Uh... Leslie. Counterpoint. I disagree with Carl. Okay. I have seen Avatar as well, and I think it exceeded the hype.", "c": ["Carl", "Host", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Do you know that I bumped a cat that can stand up on its hinders for you? You disgust me, Knope. Get out of my sight. Yes, ma'am. Go. Go on. Oh, no, no, no. Don't make me chase you.", "c": ["Host", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "This is the only copy, and I am going to destroy it. Right after I watch it one more time. I'm sorry, but it is so good.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "We should just directly apply the food to your clothes.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Because two more years until I retire with full benefits and pension. And the wife and I, we have bought a little cottage on a lake. And I am going to get myself a stack of mystery novels, a box of cigars, and I am going to sit back and enjoy my life.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Do you want the salmon or the 'twout'? Twout! Twout! Twout! Twout!", "c": ["April", "Office workers"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Park Safety"}, {"t": "Swiss family ron-binson- that hat is dope.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "You mind if I rock that bad larry on my dome? Wear it, on my head? Try it on the ladies?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm tom. I have a raccoon on my head.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Excuse me, my friend over here was digging through your trash, And I think we may have a lot in common.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Because you've been running around my hat all da-- Head all day.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Nice hat. Want to bone?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "yes, I am a hunter, and it's you season", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Animal on the head, Manimal in the bed.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Damn, girl, your hotness killed my raccoon.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I have a raccoon hat. I'm an interesting person.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Wow, I love that hat.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "When I saw my friends hiding through the window, I drove to a gas station, called the cops, And told them people had broken into my home.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Think of the September issue of vogue, But it's more important to pawnee, mainly because we don't get vogue here.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Centerfold? Always the best part. Am I right, justin?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Damn. You broke up six weeks ago.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Isn't that that creepy guy? Morgan, the pedophile?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Come on, I didn't know that. He seemed okay. We had dinner together.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Can you photoshop your life with better decisions, jerry?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We're all struggling for definition In a world that resists our inquiries.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "that child looks like it's abandoned, So basically, boo.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "That's a personal photo. That's-- Shouldn't be-- it must've...", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I think that could actually work as our cover photo. I'm cool with it if you guys are.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "why is my cup so tiny?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Happy six-month anniversary. I got you a gift. Uh, it's a chicken-salad sandwich.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Swiss army watch, mofo.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry about it. He's dead. Oh, my god. Oh, no, I'm just kidding. He's sleeping.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "That guy really seemed dead.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "that's, like, the boy version of softball.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "April threw the smoked salmon on the roof.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I'm sorry.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Maybe in your heart, you knew it was from me, But you came anyway.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "There's no such thing as a city-planning emergency.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Ann-danawicz... Or merkins.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "We don't have any pictures Of just the two of us. Plus, I've always said We should go on more dates with tom.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "And would it kill you to maybe put on some lipstick? Do you even own lipstick?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Sweater swap. She noticed. You were right.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I thought you were dead, clarence. No, I'm gonna outlive you, then I'm gonna nail your wife.", "c": ["David", "Clarence"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "When I say 'parks,' you say 'department.' Parks. Apartment!", "c": ["Leslie", "Clarence"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I'm starving. I only had one breakfast.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I could smell it in your purse Before I even parked my car. And now it's gone, And I hate everything.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Keep slithering, keep slithering!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Do what mark's doing. He's doing great. I'm not doing anything, so...", "c": ["Tom", "Mark"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Women, uh, need a lot of blood To--to flow through to- -to the baby cents, Which leaves less to the brain, you see.", "c": ["Clarence"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I'd stay away from leadership roles, Uh, for your own safety.", "c": ["Clarence"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "How about 'life is a picnic...With you'? Whoa. Then it could be about a girl... Or peyton manning.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Clarence was old and weak, So I put in for a transfer, swooped, And pushed him out.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "who gives a crap about this crap?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Ann, you look miserable! Terrible, terrible!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Maxim or good housekeeping? I'm not sure which one is the insult.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "How could someone so hot be so bad at looking hot?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "we may have to go nude.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "If you're menstruating, you'll attract bears.", "c": ["Clarence"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I just whizzed on a butterfly.", "c": ["Clarence"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "He smoked pot in the office And in all the parks constantly. It was the early '90s, but also it's ridiculous That marijuana is illegal.", "c": ["Ron", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I can't hear hippies.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "The super old one. I'm an eyebrow girl. I want to make out with him and chew his eyebrows off.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "oh, I want water. I'm so old. I need to drink water.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Yes, exactly like that, In that I wanted it, and then I took it.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I've planted marijuana in community gardens All over the city, and it hasn't hurt anyone.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "can we do one funny-face one?", "c": ["Clarence"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Their mouths are just so old.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "I call this one 'the future.' It's completely blurry.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "You mean the 'unhappy wife' photos?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Hello, disgusting fragrance flap.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Seriously? You're not even gonna show me a fake? Sometimes the confidence confuses people.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Are we gonna hate each other someday?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "Of course, my first act as city manager Would be to double the size of the parks department, Although I do expect a fight from ron. But I'll win.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "People are idiots, leslie.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "He made a bong out of a taxidermied raccoon? I caught him smoking pot out of it Not three feet from where we're standing.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Summer Catalog"}, {"t": "For realskies?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "[gasps] Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Because I didn't think March 31st existed. \u266a 30 days has September, April, March, and November \u266a", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "June and November.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "To me, this situation is a blood-soaked, nightmarish hellscape. However, to Leslie Knope... Oh, how fun. Yay.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Why don't I try to rustle up seven more meetings 'cause I think it would be cooler if there were an even 100.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Fortunately, there were two survivors. Unfortunately, they were both horses.", "c": ["Bill/Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Don't throw things at me. Oh, these are tight.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm actually here to see mark. Right. Oh, well, thanks for the coffee. That's also for mark. Mm. I really need it though. But next time more sugar. Okay, thanks. Bye!", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Pre-zit. Do you have any, uh, brown concealer by any chance?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Attack by Dennis Feinstein. When you want to attack the senses of the lady you want to bed.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Bert Macklin, FBI, on the case.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Just sit there and don't ruin the city.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "When April was born, I was already in 3rd grade. Which means if we were friends back then, I'd have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. My God, I could've killed her.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Tell me straight. Are you a Chinese?", "c": ["Nick Newport Sr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "That floppy old bag of money is gonna be dead in, like, a month. And who's going to comfort Jessica and her millions of dollars? Yeah, Jessica's a gold digger, but I'm a gold digger digger.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Well, I was doing a ribbon cutting at the hospital. And he was there because his blood doesn't work.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "That's a saying everywhere. I've never heard it before And I think it's a great saying.", "c": ["Jessica", "Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "History is important. You just can't go around changing everything all the time or else next thing you know They'll be painting the white house... Not white. I'm so angry, I can't think of another color. Green.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "I'm afraid that Ron Swanson's currently dead. Oh. I'm his daughter. April Swanson.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "You won me over. I will join your team. I'm sorry, um, what we need-- When does practice start? And do you provide the jerseys? What color are the jerseys by the way? What's our team name? Are we 'the lightning'?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Can you see this? Every time.", "c": ["Citizen", "Ann"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Your husband's a mushy, old, pile of rot.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "I am not a stick in the mud! I-I just want to stop a party from happening.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "I saw your penis.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Just say out loud 'yes' or 'no'. Eeeeeee-boop!", "c": ["Citizen", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "I have no idea what I was saying.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Kindly get your groin off my desk.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "April was supposed to be the moat that kept the citizen barbarians away from Swanson castle. Instead, she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Hey, sorry, dude. I don't need your sympathy. Or yours.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Gazebo? More like 'Ga-zoinks-Bo.' She may be a former beauty queen, but today she's the king of destroying history.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Crrr-AP on the cob.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Really thought that gate would open in the middle.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "It never gets old!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Either you hire her back or I quit. You don't work for me. And I never will, sir.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "Well, welcome to castle Ludgate!", "c": ["April's mom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "You must be April's sister. I'm Ron.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "It was supposed to be me and Ann, or me and Jessica, or Ann and Jessica with me watching.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "I know you're probably thinking 'there's that crazy gate lady from outside back again.' And to some extent, you're right. I am the gate lady.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "My mom has all your albums. I recognized you the day we met.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "How about June 50th? You should come back today at 2:65? He's available then. Looks like the only other day he has open is March-tember one-teenth.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "94 Meetings"}, {"t": "What, and shoot him?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, Ron. I'm just a little puppy. I ain't done nothing wrong. I'm just a puppy.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "I like your mustache. I wish I could have one. But I can't. Because I'm just a little puppy.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Okay, take him out and shoot him.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "It goes us, Dallas, Tulsa and certain parts of The Mall of America.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Gross! No! It's Jerry's sex night. That ruins sex and tonight.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Diabetes. Let's Dia-beat-this.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Yeah. Four hours to come up with the slogan. Four hours to embroider them. Time well spent.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Salad sucks. There. I said it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "No, you should ask her in a hot air balloon. No. She should be on the hot air balloon, and you should ride up on horseback.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Definitely. Can you get five eagles? No, get ten eagles.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "I can't make it to the telethon tonight, because I have no interest in being there.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Ex-Indiana Pacers small forward, Detlef Schrempf. The Detlef Schrempf?", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Well, they have a communal lipstick and a box of combs.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "'The devil knows where you're hiding.' 'If you take enough rides with the devil, pretty soon, he's going to drive.' She was really into the devil.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "That's horrible. I have to nap up. If I don't get a solid five, it kills my sunny disposition.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Just like everybody knows you appeared in two episodes of the German soap opera Gute Zeiten Schlechte Zeiten.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Huh? Oh, 6'10\". I'm 5'6\" and three quarters.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "My phone has 25 lines. I think it might be a switchboard.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "And I am not a crook. No, he's not.", "c": ["Joan", "Cameraman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Tonight, we're hoping the people of Pawnee dig their big, chubby hands into their plus-size pockets and donate generously.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Sugar. It's a block of sugar.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Tigers.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "The Snakehole is booming! People are loving Detlef Schrempf. I had no idea professional athletes were so popular.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "We're going to get married and I'm pregnant with his child.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "There are two types of diabetes, but only one type of caring. Type One caring.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "You've got sex hair / You got it from me, girl. Sex hair", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Oh, I called him. He's in Liberia visiting my uncle. He wants to know what happened on Lost.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "The ultimate celebrity, I think, to hang out with for a night would be Criss Angel. You'd be talking to him, and then, he would just turn into fire.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "I need you to make that out, 'To Wendy. Tom is an amazing guy. You never should have left him. You made a huge mistake in your life, and you're probably going to die alone. Love, Detlef.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing is not that hard.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Over. Under. And you guessed it. Over.", "c": ["Elderly Man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Hey, why don't you forget about the donation and just come down here and meet me in person.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Have you ever seen this man sleep? It's like underwater ballet.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Don't you remember when Ahmad Rashad proposed to Mrs. Cosby on TV? Most women do.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Was she on the Titanic? No. She was just my grandma.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Listen, my van's out back. Let's roll. No. Please leave. Where are you going? Is this guy bothering you? No, I'm bothering you. For bothering her.", "c": ["Creepy Caller", "April", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "I work for the Sewage Department. I'm up to my waist in hot snizz.", "c": ["Creepy Caller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "I will now drink eight glasses of milk in three minutes. No. No, you won't. No, you won't. Because if you do that, you will die.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "No. What we're going to do is we're going to pull our pants down. That's what we're going to do. Everyone's gonna pull their pants down for diabetes.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "You just love flashing your ass, don't you? When it's for a good cause, Joan.", "c": ["Joan", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "By the way, I'm drunk.", "c": ["Detlef"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "And the story of this next dance is that it's called The Worm.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "What the (fuck) are you doing, Perd Hapley?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "So, I may have parked on your front lawn. You did. I did.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "And she's been asleep for twenty-two hours.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "But I think I'm going to draw a mustache on her face.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Telethon"}, {"t": "Tom claiming to be a good friend for throwing the party while immediately revealing he's using it to 'stock the club with every available hottie'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Tom's confidence that he'll have 'between one and four new girlfriends' by the end of the night", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Andy guessing 'April' when asked about a song named after a month, and the awkward 'That would have been way better' response", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "April's deadpan confessional about being 21 and therefore 'the age that pretty much everyone agrees makes you an adult'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Leslie's theatrical villain laugh that 'sounded like a chimp there at the end'", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "The bureaucratic confusion about 'indefinitely' - 'Until when?' 'Indefinitely.' 'And when will that end?' 'Later than now.'", "c": ["Leslie", "Unknown official"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Leslie's defiant 'I'm not gonna fight them. Except that I am!' followed by Ron's resigned 'Okay.'", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Leslie's anger management technique: 'count backwards from 1,000 by sevens and think of warm brownies'", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Tom and Andy's terrible math trying to calculate the dating age rule, both arriving at different wrong answers", "c": ["Tom", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Andy's immediate realization that 'Tom says it's okay' probably means 'it isn't okay'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Ann explaining to Mark that couples are 'supposed to fight' and 'supposed to miss each other even if they're only gone for 20 minutes'", "c": ["Ann", "Mark"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Mark's response: 'I should have yelled at you way more'", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Jerry's panicked 'Death!' response to seeing the state auditors", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Chris's over-the-top enthusiasm: 'there is quite literally nothing I would rather have in the world than a tour of the parks and recreation department'", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Leslie comparing eye contact with Chris to 'staring into the sun'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Chris's carousel metaphor for government reform ending with 'get those happy kids back up on the horses where they belong!'", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Ron's enthusiastic response to budget cuts: 'Where do I start? What exactly will you be cutting? And how much of it, And can I watch you doing it while eating pork cracklins?'", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Leslie's over-the-top defense of Jerry: 'He is one of the best people on the planet. He's universally adored here. If you fired him, there would be a revolt.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Ben's blunt correction of Chris's optimism: 'he said that because that sounds a lot better than, we're going to gut it with a machete'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Leslie's sincere belief that the building might have feelings: 'There's a lot of history in this one, maybe it does.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Andy asking 'What's a not-gay way to ask him to go camping with me?' (presumably about Ben)", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "April's response to being offered a birthday shot: 'now that it's legal, I've kind of lost interest'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Tom bragging about his role in getting Trish crowned Miss Pawnee, with her talent being 'looking amazing'", "c": ["Tom", "Trish"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "The sound effect and visual of someone apparently falling or getting hurt during the party", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Andy's enthusiastic greeting contrasted with Ann asking if she was a good girlfriend", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Ann's drunk question: 'were there times that you were like, if I don't see Ann in, like, ten seconds, I'm gonna die?'", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Ann's bitter realization: 'I dated him for three years. Now he's an adult with a job. And some other girl is gonna reap the rewards of my hard work? That's bull[bleep].'", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Tom's 'classic game. Plant the seed. Harvest like a half hour later' while giving a bottlecap as a 'romantic' gesture", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Jean-Ralphio's story about waiting outside the wrong woman's house for five days and still getting to 'third base, over the pants'", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Andy's confused realization: 'I thought she liked me. I guess I'm super bad at picking up signals'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Andy calling Jean-Ralphio 'that Ralph Macchio guy'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Tom frantically asking multiple people 'Who the [bleep] did I give a bottlecap to?' having forgotten his own romantic gesture", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "April drunkenly mixing up 'thirsty' and 'weird': 'You know what's thirsty? You know what's weird? How thirsty I get when I'm weird. When I'm drunk.'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Leslie's drunk hostility toward Ben: 'save your breath, okay? Just get out of here. Because this is a party with my friends And you're trying to fire all my friends.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Ann sarcastically praising Leslie: 'Leslie, that was so professional. I'm so proud of you.'", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Ann's hangover crisis: 'I think I may have made out with someone last night' and her complete inability to remember who", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Chris's vitamin routine: 'B12? Evening primrose oil? Willow bark? Magnesium?' and his belief he'll live 150 years", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Leslie's defiant speech: 'You may hold my fate in your hands like a small bird, But I still think you're an ass.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Chris needing someone present when he takes his multivitamin because of 'choking hazard'", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "April's relief contrasted with Andy's observation: 'For once, it's Ann who blacked out drunk And not Andy.'", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Tom's bar tab revelation: '47 drinks' including 'Ten cosmos, eight Smirnoff ices, And everything else starts with the word pomegranate'", "c": ["Tom", "Bartender"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Tom's mathematical confusion about his imaginary orgy: 'The problem is I only have 15 penises. So there would have been 28 girls there that were really upset with me.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Ben's backstory reveal: 'When I was 18, I ran for Mayor of my small town and won' followed by 'Here's the thing, though, about 18-year-olds. They're idiots.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Ben's admission that his parents grounded him after being impeached as mayor", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "The revelation that Ben played 'Whoomp! There it is' at his mayoral swearing-in ceremony", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Ann methodically asking every man she knows 'did we make out last night?' including the horrified Ron", "c": ["Ann", "Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "The revelation that Ann was so drunk she gave Ben her phone instead of her phone number", "c": ["Ben", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Leslie hearing 'really loud circus music' when told the government will be shut down", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "Andy's song lyrics: 'November, your bangs are cute / November, your voice is a flute' followed by the reveal 'That song is about April'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "The Master Plan"}, {"t": "The government is shut down. It's in every newspaper. / How long is it going to last? Well, if we're lucky, this building will be empty for months.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I just got this super sweet-ass rad crotch rocket... Got a really good deal on my lease. Paying 12% interest. It's, like, one of the highest you can get.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Uh-oh! / Nailed it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Not like it's a competition or anything. Because if it was, I would win. But that's neither here nor there. The point is I would win.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "With the government shut down, who is going to stop Al-Qaeda?", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Keep them in my house? Where I live?", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I don't like having Freddy Spaghetti's blood on my hands. / I believe you mean Freddy Spaghetti's sauce.", "c": ["Leslie", "Councilman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Burned my tongue. Don't even care.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I'd like some water. I'd like it to be cold. I'd like it without ice. I'd like it in a glass or a mug with no handle.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I'm very glad that you agree with me, but I actually worked really hard on my argument. Is there any way I can still kind of... / Yeah? / I'd love to hear it.", "c": ["Leslie", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Can you put a price tag on a child's smile?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "The government has been shut for two days, and one city employee has tried to schedule 14 meetings with me. Can you guess who?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I have run 10 miles a day every day for 18 years. That's 65,000 miles. A third of the way to the moon. My goal is to run to the moon.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Pawnee is better than Idaho. / No, Pawnee is not special. / Your department, all the way down here, is not a priority.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "You're non-essential. / That is not your call. / I know, it's on your badge.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "This? This isn't me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I have a resting heart rate of 28 beats per minute. The scientist who studied me said that my heart could pump jet fuel up into an airplane.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I'd love to go out on a date with you. I think you might find me attractive because you got drunk and kissed me when we first met. And no pressure, but I do have tonight open.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Traditionally, when I end a long-term relationship, I'm a little fragile, and I have a tendency to do some reckless things. So I need to stay away from Chris.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "You know, they offered me a buyout, and I took it. And so now, I work for Norton Construction.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Mark Brendana-quitz.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "And I was indoors.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Why else would Boyz II Men's On Bended Knee be playing right now?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Okay. I just want to give you a little advice, which is don't make it last really long. Ladies don't like that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Leslie's usually already up and often she's already on her way over.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "The only guy that I care about right now is six feet tall with wild, crazy hair and a ukulele that doubles as a water gun.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Pawnee's kids are less important than poop tubes.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Ann, you devious bastard.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "A, yes. B, even if they don't, we'll just put the concert on ourselves. But C, yes. Yes, they're definitely going to show up. Although, D, maybe not.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "God bless you, Jerry Gergich!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I still might not.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "My doctor just said I should avoid... / Being a wuss? Yes, I agree.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I am an official member of a task force dedicated to slashing the city budget. Just saying that gave me a semi.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Right off the bat, we sell City Hall. Let somebody turn it into a large gas station or a T.J. Maxx.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Hammering away.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "He better be showered. I just detailed my car, and he is notoriously funky.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "What were we doing in between? Sex stuff.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "You guys know Tom really well, so I don't have to apologize for his behavior, right?", "c": ["Lucy"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Oh, I forgot. I didn't get a chance to get porta-potties, so the audience are gonna have to use Ann's house for the bathrooms.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's just like driving half a car.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I was too busy not wanting to talk to you.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "How much do you like him? Because I could definitely talk to Lucy about a three-way situation.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Massage train. And I know what you're thinking. It's not that I want a massage. I'll be the caboose. And Ron Swanson is the locomotive.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Sell the zoo animals. / To whom? / Cosmetics labs? Weird restaurants? I'm just spit-balling here.", "c": ["Ron", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Reverse psychiatry.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "It's because whenever I see you talk to Ann or talk about Ann, I feel like you still have feelings for her.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Because of my libertarian beliefs, Leslie does 95% of the work. So you should lay me off. I'd be proud to be a casualty in this righteous war.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "No other department has one to begin with.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "What? Who? The Russians?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "When he would do it by himself, nothing got done, and when I did it by myself, I'd get death threats.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Actually, Leslie, I just found out. Freddy Spaghetti ain't coming. / Freddy Spaghetti may not sing. But something much cooler is going to happen. I think. Ann?", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "At a library. / That's literally the worst place I can imagine.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Well, just take the word 'sex' and change it to 'pickle.' / You got pickle hair, baby And you got it from me / Yeah. Still sounds like it's about sex.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "There's an old saying in show business. 'The show must go wrong.' Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Freddy Spaghetti couldn't make it today. He bumped his noodle. There was sauce everywhere. It was just streaming out of his face.", "c": ["Leslie as Renata Ricotta"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "My father told me that a limp handshake was for weak men and Communists. He hated both.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "They call it a Swanson.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "My life is a motorcycle crash right now.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "A-Cakes.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Mean Ben? / No, no, no. Mean Ben?", "c": ["Ben", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "The biggest service was getting you to stop singing.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "But, like, two minutes ago, me and Ann did kiss.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Dude, don't even think about kissing me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "And what was your favorite song, Chelsea? / Penne and the Jets. / Me, too!", "c": ["Leslie", "Child"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "I liked this a lot better when it was a pit.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Red tape. So you'll never forget your roots.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Whenever Ron has sex, the next morning, he comes in dressed like Tiger Woods.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "That is my ex-wife.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Freddy Spaghetti"}, {"t": "Giddyup! Giddyup! / I am the pants queen!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Cut it out, Tom. / It never gets old.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Tommy Timberlake", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "My mom is Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Nailed it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Bully.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "The bankrupt government of Pawnee has been shut down all summer, so it's been three months of no work, no meetings, no memos, no late nights, nothing. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "I have goose bumps. Feel.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "And that's why they call me Prince Charming. Because I always find the glass slipper for my Cinderella. / These are way too tight. / Well, the real Cinderella didn't have hippo feet.", "c": ["Tom", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Jeremy! Suck it!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "By the way, I've been giving away free sports bras to the girls at Hot Dog on a Stick. Look, we can dance all day, but it's time to step up. Are you buying 4,000 rubber nipples from me or not?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Jerry. / Oh, my gosh. Look who's here. Leslie. / The nightmare's over, Jerry. We're going back to work. / You're not going to need this anymore. (SPLASH)", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "I called shotgun. Everybody heard me.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Well, I am usually not one for speeches. So, goodbye.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Make the world's biggest pizza. / No, make this town fun for the people who live here. / Fine, but after that, the pizza is our top priority. / No, it's not. / We're getting pizza?", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie", "Andy", "Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "April, hey, it's me, Andy Dwyer. This is like the 200th message I've left you, without a response. So, if you're trying to tell me something, I do not know what it is because you won't call me back.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "So, that just means that we're in maintenance mode. / Yeah! Jerry!", "c": ["Ben", "Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "And quite frankly, throw things at you and call you names. Like Turd-boy. Whatever.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys into men, from men into gladiators, and from gladiators into Swansons.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Behold! The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Capitalism. God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Crying. Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Fish, for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Haircuts. There are three acceptable haircuts. High and tight. Crew cut. Buzz cut. Are the scissors broken in your house, son?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "We literally can't buy... (BLEEP)", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "I'm not a paper pusher, Ann. I need to be out in the streets, planting trees and cracking skulls.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "No. Damn! Sorry, Leslie.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Save it. Okay? I know you don't have faith in me and my department, and that's fine. But don't expect me to sit here and chitchat with you. / All right. Fair enough. Go the other way. / But I'm just going to that... / All right, I'II...", "c": ["Leslie", "Chris"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Because I thought we had a great time the night you got drunk and kissed me. And you did use your tongue.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Great. Let me ask you one question. Would you be cool doing things that a prostitute does? Minus the money? / Definitely yes, then.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "I'd say my coaching style is centered around fundamentals, with an emphasis on fun. Hey, watch this. Go get it. Yeah! And a second emphasis on mental.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "But every time I look one of these kids in the eyes and he calls me Coach... That's how I know I agreed to be a coach.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "There's no coin toss in basketball. / Are those women's sneakers? / Yes, they are, Ron. You know what? They fit better, I got an employee discount, and the best part is no one can tell.", "c": ["Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Match point. Touchdown. Et cetera.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Okay. I like what you're wearing, but I need it to be 300% sexier. Do you have any of those shirts that look wet all the time? Or, like, a metal bikini?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "For dinner? / Well, what's sexy food? Asparagus? / No, you know what's sexy? Turkey chili.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Ann Perkins. You are wonderful and amazing and I'm happy to be here with you. / Thank you, Chris. I'm wearing a tuxedo vest with no shirt on underneath.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "And... Oops, my vest popped open. Just like the budget needs to pop open and you need to pour it into my Parks Department.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "I love dates. I love connecting with someone. I love engaging them. I love being surprised by them. I have never had a bad date. They've all been either great or phenomenally great.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Nurses are the most undervalued members of our society by far. I think all of you should make as much money as the CEO of Google.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "I was born with a blood disorder. And my parents were told that I had three weeks to live. And here I still am, some 2,000-odd weeks later, and I have enjoyed every one of them.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Jurassic Park. Parks are so great. The Parks Department needs money. I just did it in three moves.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Well, then, why don't you just come here and do it yourself? / Okay. Holy crap!", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "They're both so beautiful. They probably just want to see each other naked.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Yes, I am. / No, you're not. / I'm great at being sneaky. / Clearly, you're not.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Yes, Ron Swanson is dating my ex-wife, Wendy. Big deal. My girlfriend, Lucy, is the sexiest woman in town. She's Cuban, she's got tattoos, and she's into me, which, as far as I'm concerned, is the sexiest quality a woman can have.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "After dinner, we should take a walk by the pond in Ramsett Park. Walking in parks can be very romantic. / Yeah, too bad the park's always closed, though.", "c": ["Leslie", "Chris"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "This place is outstanding! Great call, Leslie Knope.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "That's a foul! What? On whom? / Your team. Number 50. He was double dribbling. / He's on defense. / Exactly. / That's a technical difficulty.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron", "Tom", "Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "So, that means Andy's team throws the ball from the stripey thing.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "I'm sort of a gay hero. Last year, I married two penguins at the zoo, and it turned out they were both gay.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Look. When I was 18 and I became mayor of my hometown, I used every last dollar we had to open a giant winter sports complex. Called it Ice Town. And it turned out great and everyone loved it. Yeah, kind of. It was never completed, and I got impeached.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "The newspaper headline was, 'Ice Town Costs Ice Clown His Town Crown.' They were big into rhymes.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Foul on number three for taking a number two on number four.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "What are you going to do about it? Nothing. You fouled. You can't do anything. / Okay. You're ejected. You're ejected. / What's the matter there, Ron? No players left? / Put my boys back in. / You made me the ref. Deal with it.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron", "Tom", "Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Ron's ejected for molesting the ref!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "I dedicate this victory to April Ludgate. It feels good. And it feels sticky. From the Gatorade.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Mission accomplished? / Yeah. There's a mission that Ann had thought of. It was both of our ideas, but it was mostly Ann's.", "c": ["Chris", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "I've just had my first bad date.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Really? Wow. Across the pond.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "This is my boyfriend, Eduardo. / No, it's not.", "c": ["April", "Eduardo"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "How do you say, 'Have a great time, don't choke on anything'?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Budget solution number 28. Use grazing sheep to mow grass in parks. Note. Tired sheep could become food or sweaters.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "From some city in Mexico.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "You swing the hardest, damn it. You go big or you go home. And you don't seem like the kind of guy who goes home. / I'm not. I don't even really have a home.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Check your testicles? / No. Not that. Although that is very good advice. Looking at you, Jerry.", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "This town was historically known for two things. Widespread obesity, and the annual Pawnee Harvest Festival.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "People from all over Indiana would come and gaze in wonderment at how fat our citizens were.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "That, literally, is the most moving thing I've ever heard.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "All due respect, Eduardo. You seem like a great guy. But I like April. And I'm coming after her with everything I've got.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Not Friday. I have to go visit my cousin. But I will be back after that to ask you again.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "You should do it. Follow your dream. / Oh, my God. Really? That's awesome.", "c": ["Eduardo", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Go Big Or Go Home"}, {"t": "Except no one dresses up like a janitor when they want to be slutty.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "April's reaction beat - silence after claiming she can't do anything because she's sick", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I've already vomited, like, five times today.", "c": ["JJ"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "You spent over $1,000 last year on waffles alone.", "c": ["JJ"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I didn't know what to bring you, so I just got some magazines and lipstick. Woman stuff.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "You look tired and you're all sweaty all the time. What's your excuse?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Ended with a five-and-a-half minute mile. My personal low.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I think the pavement in this town is soft.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "My body's like a chip, too. A potato chip.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "There was one time I thought he farted. But it was me.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "April really is the whole package.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Check this out. I just invented it. Super-straw.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I have 2.8% body fat. My body is like a microchip. A grain of sand could destroy it.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "My body's a microchip.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I have to get ready for the Chamber of Secrets. Commerce.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have 'network connectivity problems'.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "If I was sick, could I do this? [attempts cartwheels] What are you doing? Cartwheels. Am I not doing them? No.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "It's not that I don't trust Ben. It's that I don't have faith in Ben. And, also, I'm starting to forget who Ben is.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I try to be considerate. Well, I am off for a soak and a schvitz. Arrivederch.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I just dropped another call. [DIAL TONE]", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Help! This slutty nurse is trying to smother me to death with a pillow! Stay back, slut!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I'm going to go into a supply closet and snap a bunch of tongue depressors.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "You're too white.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I am starving. I haven't had lunch since yesterday.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "It literally killed a guy last year.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "You had me at 'Meat Tornado'.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Before I joined, they were just three old white dudes quietly boiling in hot water.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Forgot to mention, the tiny kangaroo is a racist.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Not like, 'Damn, you're fine,' but fine health-wise.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "The microchip has been compromised.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Pierre Garcon was a sixth-round pick. Collie was the fourth round. Indianapolis Colts know how to draft so well.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "You are an unstoppable good idea machine!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I'm surrounded by a lot of women in this department. And that includes the men.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Leslie came in here and stole my flu medicine and left.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I had a dream that she came into this room, stole my flu medicine, told me not to tell you, and then disappeared through that hole in the wall. The door?", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I looked at the meter, and it had Egyptian hieroglyphics on it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "The floor and the wall just switched.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Good evening, everyone. I'm Leslie Monster. And this is Nightline.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Holy... [BLEEP] I can remember things.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "I vomited somewhere in this room. I don't remember where, though.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Stop pooping.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "This floor is my friend.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Nothing like a complete physical breakdown to make a guy seem less intimidating. I love the flu.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Hey, this ain't your call, McCluskey.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Every Thursday night is ladies' night down at the Snakehole Lounge over on Burnham Avenue. Ladies get two drinks for the price of one. Oh, no, that can't be right. That's way too good of a deal. Nope. That is what it says. Wow.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "What the [BLEEP] is your problem? Whoa, I thought you weren't gonna lose it. While I was on duty, I didn't. Now it's just me.", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "That's the most I've ever liked Ann.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "That was a flu-ridden Michael Jordan at the '97 NBA finals.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "why is half of your face all swirly?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Give it up, everybody, for Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "will you have Lady Pennyface retrieve it and send it post-hence?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "You could be asleep for hours. Maybe I'll come back later.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Gross. Your forehead is all sweaty. That's gross. But I still like you.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "Way to go, buddy. Way to go.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Flu Season"}, {"t": "A disappointingly good idea from Jerry.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Jerrold starred in his school production of Peter Pan. He was a beautiful Tinker Bell.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry's mother"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "It was an all-boys school.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Why don't we put Eduardo in there and seal the top so that he suffocates and dies?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Picture of my ex-girlfriend Lucy with a mustache drawn on her face and stink lines coming off her, 'cause she stinks.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Luckily, when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. That's what they always do on Entourage.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "The four horse meals of the egg-pork-alypse", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Not like you get extra credit for this, but I did type it from memory.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Pawnee: Welcome, German soldiers.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "After the Nazis took France, our mayor kind of panicked.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Pawnee: Welcome, Vietnamese soldiers.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Pawnee: Engage with Zorp.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Pawnee: Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Pawnee: Birthplace of Julia Roberts. That was a lie, she sued.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Pawnee: Home of the world-famous Julia Roberts lawsuit.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Pawnee: Welcome, Taliban soldiers.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Pawnee: First in friendship, fourth in obesity.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "It's time to encapsulate the future.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "The parks department cuts the crapsule, buries the time capsule.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 4.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "I thought you would be younger... And a girl.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Present company excluded. Oh, thank you. Uh, I was talking about me.", "c": ["Andy", "Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "I can literally see my face in my shoes.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "He didn't... he didn't pay me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "I cannot figure out who my boss is.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Somehow that fish ended up dead in a cowboy boot.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "The town of Forks, Washington is exactly like Pawnee, except for the climate and the vampires.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "He brought handcuffs with him. This whole thing was planned.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Cool people make the rules. They don't break the rules.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Damn it. Again?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "What look did your mom have on her face when she realized her son was a complete failure?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "And if I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson, he would forget all about Skinnylegs McGee.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "This muscle-headed storm trooper doesn't scare me.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "No! No! No! Please! I am very scared of you!", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "He brought a pillow.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Hey, Leslie, I'm making some sleepytime tea. You want any?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Twilight is dope. I told you. I couldn't put it down. It was like she was peering into my soul.", "c": ["Tom", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "There's a second book? And a third and a fourth. No [bleep] way.", "c": ["Tom", "Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Those are sports sandals. They're for adventure racing. The human foot is the ultimate technology.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Dude, that is the coolest sentence I've ever heard somebody talk.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Hey, you know who should wear these shoes? Monkeys.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "I'm nice. Good! Nice. What else? I'm in a band. Band! What else? That's it.", "c": ["Andy", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Am I Team Edward? Yes. Do I share his concerns about turning Bella, though? Absolutely not.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think she's in the volturi.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Well, for that guy, life in Pawnee is him and his daughter reading that book.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Crackpot convention.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "I think we should put in the Bible. Great.", "c": ["Citizen", "Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "David Matthews! Crash into me! Yes! I love that song.", "c": ["Eduardo", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "That means 'thank you'? Yes. Nailed it.", "c": ["Andy", "Eduardo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "There really is a tremendous amount of quivering.", "c": ["Marcia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "So too Christian and not Christian enough?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Do you see the irony here? No? Okay.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Go back to Russia, commie! Hey, you go back to Russia! And you go back to wherever you came from!", "c": ["Citizens"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Why would I go to Russia? I have no interest in traveling to Russia.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "I just don't get why you broke up with me. Is it an Edward-Bella-Jacob type situation?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "It's nothing to do with Twilight.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Imagine if your boss was Angelina Jolie, and then one day, she just started dating your ex-boyfriend.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Well, not if I had great new boyfriend, dumbass.", "c": ["Lucy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "You're small enough for me to throw you around.", "c": ["Lucy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Except for Turnip.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "I got two microphones, a four-track recorder, and every bass tab to Dave Matthews ever. Vamos!", "c": ["Eduardo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Usually people don't care about anything. These people are weirdos, but they're weirdos who care.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "And sorry about the weird blank gap in the middle. A man named Jerry Gergich screwed up the recording somehow. He had one job to do.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "He was a really good bassist. I was actually started to like him. I know. That's what made me start to hate him.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "The nice and band totally worked.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "And also, there's a pretzel stand over there that literally serves the best pretzel I've ever had.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "Dude, what did I just say? How about you shut up?", "c": ["Kelly", "Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Time Capsule"}, {"t": "It's Not the Size of the Boat: Embracing Life with a Micro-Penis", "c": ["Jack Cooper", "Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Tammy. My ex-wife Tammy likes to check in every so often and make sure I'm doing okay. And if I am, she tries to [bleep] everything up.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "If she binds your hands and you can't reach your phone, just try to chew yourself free.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Whale tale. Whale tale. She's flashing a whale tale. Abort. Abort.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "I was just checking myself for scoliosis. - And? - Straight as an arrow. Just like somebody else I know.", "c": ["Tammy", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, she's amazing.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "A lovely, intelligent, self-possessed pediatric surgeon named Wendy. - Sounds like a real whore.", "c": ["Ron", "Tammy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Good day, Leslie. - Good... good day.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Wow, don't be such a Jerry, Ben.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Yeah, Ben, these guys are cops, not ballerinas.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Calzones are like pizzas but they're harder to eat. They're dumb and so was that idea. - Seriously? - This is embarrassing for you.", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "So all I can think about is Captain Mustache plowing my ex-wife. - And you imagine he's wearing a cape while he's plowing her?", "c": ["Tom", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "You want five million orange post-its.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "They're getting really old and I'm an only child.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "A companion. - Hey, I don't suppose you'd want to move to Canada? - Canada. No, I don't suppose I would.", "c": ["Ron", "Wendy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "She made me this tiny sharpened stick.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Look, I'm gonna tell you what I tell all my girlfriends when they get dumped. Men are dogs. - That does not apply to this situation at all.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Calzones. - What the hell is wrong with this guy?", "c": ["Ben", "Chief"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "I know Tammy seems scary. But really, she's just a manipulative, psychotic, library-book-pedaling, sex-crazed she-demon.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "I was just tasting my new boyfriend, Glenn. - Tom.", "c": ["Tammy", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Verbal altercation transpired at approximately 8:55 P.M. with a female unsub. Appears to be slightly intoxicated. Claims to be an ex-spouse. Real piece of work.", "c": ["Police officers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Ron's got one just like it on his penis.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Hi, Ann. This is April. I'm just calling to let you know that Chris can't make lunch today. I knew you wouldn't care. Good-bye.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "It rubbed off... From friction.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "You have been spending the last 24 hours sipping on joy juice and tripping on Tammy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "I would like to address the goofy-looking, dirty-kimono-wearing, corn-rowed clown in the room.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "I hate you like my actual brother, Levondrious, who I hate.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Ron, I do not really understand what is going on right now. But no matter what, you must keep going. No. You must stop. I love you, buddy. Follow your dreams.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "If you're watching this, it means that once again you have danced with the devil.", "c": ["Past Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "So you have two choices... One, get rid of Tammy, or two, lobotomy and castration.", "c": ["Past Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "In fact, she's ovulating. So if you'll excuse us, we're heading off on our honeymoon.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "We bought 10 cases of Gatorade and a 40-pound bag of peanuts for energy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Love, Bert Macklin, FBI.", "c": ["April reading"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "You mean, like calzone-sized? - Ah! Sure.", "c": ["Chief", "Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Tammy Swanson Swanson.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "When I asked her to be my date, she cackled for a full minute and said, and I quote, 'anything to make Ron miserable.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Why are you hitting yourself, Glenn? Stop hitting yourself.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Oh, and by the way, last night, I faked four out of the seven. - Hmm. So did I.", "c": ["Tammy", "Ron"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "There's a really great calzone place over in Idiotville. - Oh, really? - Down on Terrible Idea Avenue.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them. Good day, sir. - Leslie, I... you know, I... - I'm just kidding. Let's go.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "Tom, women like scars. Shows you survived an attack, and they'll assume the attack was from a man.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Ron &Amp; Tammy: Part Two"}, {"t": "I found this typewriter next to the courtyard dumpster. An old Underwood 5 with original carriage return.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Took her home, polished her up and bought a brand new ribbon off of electronicbay.com", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Somebody has got to do something. I'm getting a cluster headache.", "c": ["Coworker"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "What is he typing, anyway? 'If you sons of bitches try to remove this typewriter, I'll kill you.'", "c": ["Coworker", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "I'm going to type every word I know! Rectangle. America.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Megaphone. Monday.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Butthole.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Boy, 35%? It's actually 34.2%. '34.2%.' I'm Ben, the numbers robot.", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "It's just an exact calculation. 'It's just an exact calculation.' All right.", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Well, I tried to call Oprah. I couldn't get her number. I'm putting it out there, like The Secret. And hopefully, she'll call me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Crazy Ira and... The Douche.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "So much better than Tubby Tony and the Papaya. Am I right?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "This feels almost perfect, but I don't think your core has maximized elasticity. Okay. I'll come back, if you guys are being weird.", "c": ["Chris", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "That sounds boring. But I have nothing keeping me here. Do you have Internet in your office? Yes. Fine, I'll do it.", "c": ["April", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "It turns out Chris is my real dad.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Unless Andy can un-kiss Ann, then I'm not going to change my mind. But if he wants to take my dumb sister to her dumb dance class, then I'm not going to dumb stop him.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "You know why I'd never be an astronaut? Two words. Space farts. You can't roll down the window of the shuttle. Am I right, folks?", "c": ["Crazy Ira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Houston, we have a... What do you think about that, Neil Armstrong? That's one small [fart] for man, one giant [fart] for mankind.", "c": ["The Douche"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Tom 'Haverfart' and Ben Wyatt", "c": ["Crazy Ira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "You lost your virginity in a corn maze, didn't you, Douche? That's right. To your mom.", "c": ["Crazy Ira", "The Douche"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Crazy Ira! Clean your room! There's also going to be hay rides. 'Hey, ride me,' is what Crazy Ira's mom said.", "c": ["The Douche", "Crazy Ira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "My bird is missing. I need a permit to post signs. There's no time! He can fly!", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "I eat 'running the permits desk for an hour' for breakfast.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Physical comedy of child hitting Andy in the groin repeatedly", "c": ["Andy", "Henry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "I would never be able to find a worse assistant.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "We're looking him up on AltaVista.", "c": ["Crazy Ira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Ice Town.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Game over, man. Game over.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "We should just slap a pair of Ray-Bans on a calculator, because that would be way more charming.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "There are a lot of cars. I mean, not too many. Trucks and stuff. But, you know...", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "I want to define your bagua. It's a feng shui term. The energy in this house is a little stale.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "I'm not really attached to the way this stuff is arranged. Or the stuff itself. Or this house, even, really.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Harvest Festival more like 'Harvest Bestival.' They've planted the seeds, and now, they're harvesting the rewards. They'll put the fun in funnel cake.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "We are colleagues with benefits. We're colleagues who benefit from the fact that we're also friends.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Dear April's grandmother... I said grandfather. You are a beautiful and amazing woman... Man. I hope someday, I can become half the woman you are... He's a man.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Thank you for the $500... It was $5. Enjoy the Mouse Rat CD... He is deaf.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Hey, Perd. Was your dad RoboCop? Because your arms are guns.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "RoboCop didn't have guns for arms. Oh, my God. That's so not the point, you nerd.", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Because Brooks Brothers Boys doesn't make garbage.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Boom. A sad desk. Boom. Sad wall.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Sorry for stepping on you, floor.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "I have got a corn so big you could slap butter on it.", "c": ["Pawnee Citizen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Sweetums is even building a plus-sized roller coaster for some of Pawnee's obese thrill-seekers. You must be this wide to ride.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Look. Who hasn't had gay thoughts?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Is there a bird in here? I swear, I keep seeing a bird in this studio.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Are you trying to lure this young lady into your van? Yeah. But she's being really difficult about it, and it's actually not my van.", "c": ["Police Officer", "Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Joan? I thought you were Jennifer Aniston filming a movie here.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "If we're both still single in an hour, let's get married. Tom, I'm already married. That's right. To Seal. What? I confused you with Heidi Klum again.", "c": ["Tom", "Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "When you have a fish on the line, you don't just drag it behind the boat. You either reel it in or you cut him loose. Especially if he's a nice fish with a big, lovable fish heart.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Wow, that's disgusting. Yes, it's very hard to drink.", "c": ["Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "First of all, why does everyone in this town use AltaVista? Is it 1997?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "Joan? I stole my gym teacher's husband.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "More like 'Turd Crapley.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Media Blitz"}, {"t": "How about just you? Thank you, Ron. Yes.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "I couldn't care less about the commendation. But Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's steakhouse", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "The lady next to me: A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "His ether-based perfume 'Blackout' was named one Maxim's top 100 ways to trick someone into sex", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "'Hey, Doug from Bloomington is thinking about buying a shirt.' I mean, come on, Doug, who cares?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "take him under your tiny little wing", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "April Ludgate Is the Best Ever, Volume One", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "I kind of forgot that you need money when you have a girlfriend", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub 'em on stuff", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "I don't know. I guess we're dating. It's new. Whatever. I don't like labels.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "In high school, they used to call me Angela Lansbury. But that was because of my haircut.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "self_deprecating"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "The owner of the motel I'm staying at said she was gonna screen Hope Floats in the lobby. Asked me if I wanted to watch.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "I think she's gonna murder you.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Dame Gervin's Misshapen Celebrity Castle. It's where Madame Tussaud sends all of its failed wax figures", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "there are flecks of meat in my mustache, and I refuse to clean it because every now and then, a piece of meat will fall into my mouth", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Ron doesn't even have a front door. He won't even tell me his address.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "There's a lot of men's coats in here. I like coats.", "c": ["Leslie", "Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Tom Hammen... Hammenstein. Haverford.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "They just boarded her up like she was some common warehouse.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "What happened to the steaks that were in there when they closed? Do you think they got eaten?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "his real name is Dante Fiero, but he changed it to Dennis Feinstein 'cause that's way more exotic in Pawnee", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Looks like you just nailed your future.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "I'm a girl in a sleazy club.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "My name? Oprah. I said I want to drink alone.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "I told him I had a pork deficiency.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Since I am not a rabbit, no, I do not.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Well, Yoda wouldn't actually need networking. I mean, his powers were more spiritual. Shut up, you nerd!", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "You know, legally, if you're from the FDA, you have to tell me.", "c": ["Dennis Feinstein"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "That guy just pitched me a cologne called 'Sluts.' I'm gonna tell you what I told him. Not just anybody can do this. Although it's a great name and I'm probably gonna steal it.", "c": ["Dennis Feinstein"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "It smells like somebody spilled Chinese food in a bird cage.", "c": ["Dennis Feinstein"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Portobello mushrooms. Where's the steak? Oh, there's no steak. That's a healthier option.", "c": ["Ron", "Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "My dad owns this place. I'm Janet. Janet Snakehole.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "We are like Robin Hood. We steal from the club and we give to ourselves.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "I'm a human being. Sometimes I get blemishes. I'm not perfect.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "We broke up last week.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Sweet and beautiful Ann has never been dumped before, and Chris is such a positive person, when he broke up with her, she just didn't realize it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "although it does kind of make you wonder how good of a nurse she is", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "A teriyaki hairpiece? I smell like the guy who's always coming up short.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["self_deprecating", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "I can smell your dreams, Tom. I can. And I can smell 'em from here. And honestly, they smell fucking terrible.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "One time, when I was in high school, a guy's mom called me and broke up with me for him.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Don't eat anything. Rebecca's coming. Who was Rebecca? Yeah. Exactly.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.' What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.83, "im": 9.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "He's gonna smell your dreams now.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Indianapolis"}, {"t": "And it is possibly the best thing to potentially ever happen to anyone anywhere in the history of the Universe.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Sebastian was the number one boy's name in Pawnee. And the number three girl's name.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "So what am I missing? What's the deal with the pony?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "He's not a pony, man. He's a mini horse. There's a big difference.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Son, this horse has an honorary degree from Notre Dame.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "We are both on the same diabetes medication. Are you my Glucotrol buddy? Are you? Huh?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Get out.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Well, there's a lot of people that don't consider salad a food.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "God, I gotta stop ending on that boring thing. Clowns!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "You're like a ninja crossed with a Jedi, or something. / You're like a nerd mixed with a dork or something.", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Ah! Wahallo.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "During the battle, 93-year-old chief Wakote was shot 102 times by the calvary. Did he die? Yes.", "c": ["Ken", "Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "The atrocities are in blue.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "There are two things I know about white people. They love Matchbox 20, and they are terrified of curses.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Take that, curse! / Take that, curse! / Ouch, ouch, ouch! Right in the chest, ooh! Ow, ow, ow! Bazooka!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "She's like an eagle-eyed tiger. / Eagle-eyed tiger! New band name, I call it!", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "But he did it so nicely that I didn't even realize he did it. / I've done that to multiple men.", "c": ["Ann", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Two days ago I was sobbing at a pizza buffet and they asked me to leave. I've been looking at some dog adoption web sites. Bought $700 worth of candles from Anthropologie. I did this to my hair.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Normally, people tell you to talk about your problems, I'm gonna recommend you bottle that noise up. / That's what my mailman said.", "c": ["Ron", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Muah-muah-murder. Murdering the most melons. Shaquille showered shame on Shakira's sheets.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "But deadly. When was the last time this giant wheel of death was inspected?", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "How many of these carnies are illegals?", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Are you [bleep] kidding me? You got Li'l Sebastian?", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Thank you, Joan. Li'l Sebastian isn't bad either.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Did you get your breasts done? You look amazing. / Yes, thanks for noticing.", "c": ["Tom", "Joan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "And when it does, I'm gonna be there to give you a foot massage... To completion.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Well, I want a billion Teddy bears. / Well, that's a little unrealistic. This is a hard game. Two million.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Hey, I love you. / Dude, shut up! / That is awesome sauce!", "c": ["Andy", "April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Wow, that is a shockingly huge mini horse erection.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Well, uh, you know, when I was an 18-year-old mayor, I tried to build a winter sports complex called Ice Town and it bankrupted the city.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "I was also short-stop on my JV baseball team. No one ever brings that up.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Uh, somebody left the gate open and he got out, Jerry! / What are you talking about? / Unbelievable. Another in a long string of miserable failures. You lost Li'l Sebastian! / I wasn't even here! / Exactly.", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry", "Tom", "Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Let's go ahead, let's get some shots of chipped paint and crying babies. How about some of those spooky traffic lights.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Plus we lost that little pony. / It's a mini horse! / And that's the third lightning rod. Triple lightning rod! / And then you have the curse, quadruple lightning rod.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie", "Ben", "Ben"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Oh, no. No. We all just behave rationally and believe we are all in charge of our own destinies. Come on.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Maybe Li'l Sebastian got upset because he tried to share his true feelings with someone and they didn't reciprocate.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Good idea. Horses love mazes, come on!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Ah, good. Anne, you're so beautiful. Beautiful Anne.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Oh, I love these things. Sorry.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "You know how Indians call corn maize? This is why. I never knew that.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I'm gonna go look by myself. / Hey, are you all right? You seem super not happy. / I'm fine. / Oh, I forgot to tell you. I might be going to Venezuela tomorrow. Forever.", "c": ["April", "Andy", "April", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "I don't know what's sicker, me or your body. / You aren't sick. / Maybe you should check out my abs. / Are you experiencing abdominal pain? / Every day at the gym.", "c": ["Bodybuilder", "Ann", "Bodybuilder", "Ann", "Bodybuilder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Who said anything about a boyfriend? / Use him, abuse him, lose him.", "c": ["Donna", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Yeah, Jerry. He's right here in my pocket.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "There are not, as one reporter suggested, dozens of escaped convicts meandering around the carnival. And, at no time was any Parks Department quote, 'feasting on petting zoo animals.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Leslie, how big of a disaster will this be, on a scale of 9 to 10?", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Yeah, the statement that this reporter has is a question. Will that be enough to lift the curse?", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Crap on a spatula.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Jerry's fault. Jerry's fault. Jerry's fault! Jerry's fault!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "If they're missing this long, they're usually dead. / Well, if that's true, then you're gonna have to answer to the whole town. And God.", "c": ["Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Andy, she's mad because you said 'awesome sauce' instead of, 'I love you, too.' April, he loves you. Stop being a child. Tom, you're clearly at fault here. Blaming Jerry won't save you. Jerry, we both know you were shotgunning funnel cakes instead of watching Li'l Sebastian. So everyone apologize to everyone else!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "That's what makes the sauce so awesome.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Aw, Jerry just farted! I'm very upset, I get nervous.", "c": ["Andy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "You single? / Not now, Ed.", "c": ["Ed", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "timing"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Much like the early settlers of Pawnee begged the Wamapoke 200 years ago. / Ah, but that was... / A trick. And over 50 Wamapoke were slaughtered.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ken", "Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Beat it, Donna. / Aye, aye, captain.", "c": ["Bodybuilder", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "A native American tribe making a deal with the government. Heh! What could go wrong?", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "We spotted him from the top of the ferris wheel at the center of the corn maze. After the power came back on, we went and got him. It took us four hours to solve that maze. It took the horse 15 minutes. Jerry's still out there.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "I suppose I oughta go look for him. Right after I get a bratwurst.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "Ice Town was a disaster. And it seems like it was probably your fault. From what I can tell, you mismanaged the hell out of it. / Wow, why even say that already?", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "relationship_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "I don't get it. At all. It's kind of a small horse. I mean, what am I missing? Am I crazy? / Hey, Ben, you just missed it. He whinnied. / Oh, yeah, no. I totally heard that. It was great.", "c": ["Ben", "Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Harvest Festival"}, {"t": "That was... the second most awkward way a man has ever grabbed my breast.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "We only have one chance to make a second impression.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "What portion of this camping trip will take place outside? - All of it. - Pass.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "What if we're scaling a cliff and I start to fall? Can I grab onto your boob for support?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "No, Tom, don't! Her boob kills!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "My boob does not kill. Paul did not die. He had a heart attack which required an octuple bypass.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Of course, I am gonna miss Indianapolis, which is the most wonderful city in America.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "You're all my little hydration packs.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "I'm sure I am not. - Ron! You are too. Hydration pack!", "c": ["Ron", "Chris"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "My identity was stolen. - His identity was stolen! Tell her about the accounts. - They were frozen. - Frozen.", "c": ["Kyle", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Camping sucks. It's super-boring. And you can see the stars, which I hate. They're creepy.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "If you hate it, we'll leave and go make out. But if you love it, we'll stay and make out. Either way, a ton of making out.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Ketchup and mustard. - Ketchup and mustard, I just was... Oh! That is so delightful. I relish your wit.", "c": ["Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Well, I salsa... your face.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "He was an amazing dentist.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Remember, this is the guy that was so upbeat and positive, when he broke up with you, you didn't even know it happened.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "It's called the ground when it's outside.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Skymall! Come check out my tent. I ordered a bunch of crap off Skymall.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "This is actually a dog couch, but it's super comfortable.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "About 83 cents. Per household. Before postage.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Oh, I know this one. They are all rap-pists. - Oh, my God, they're Rappers, Jerry!", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Luxury Dog Park. Do you wanna tell us anymore? - Poodles only. No pooping.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "The air is too fresh. It's disgusting. I can't breathe. There's a brook somewhere that won't stop babbling. Shut up!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Great idea. Thanks, white Urkel.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "That's what I'm calling my tent.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Because I don't have one. I don't have an idea, Ann.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "I married Alf, and we're pretty happy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "You know, I was 24 when Gayle took my virginity.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "What's say we just stand here in silence. And think of ideas... for projects.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "You know what I should do? I should lead a teen abstinence workshop. That might be incredibly effective.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "That's a good stopping point.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "I just return it the next day and claim it was defective. The key is crying a lot. No one likes to hear a grown man cry.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "And then my hand accidentally went in the panini press!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "It's pollution from the sweetums factory. - It's gorgeous. - But is it worth the asthma? - No.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "I mean, you're like the energizer bunny of city government.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "I was just out for my nighttime run, and I thought, 'why not go visit the Parks Department?'", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "I'm much more receptive to new ideas when my heart rate is still elevated.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Los Angeles, season one, isn't gonna watch itself.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "And that'll be fun. We'll all stay up, and then I'll be like, 'hey! No one sleep!' Do you hear how loud that is? You're not sleeping through that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Jerry scared all the fish away with his loud personal stories.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "I miss my canopy bed.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Especially since my stupid boyfriend abandoned me!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "You know, I've never moved this slowly before. It's almost like being in quicksand.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Sounds good. - No, no.", "c": ["Ann", "Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Chocolate or butterscotch? - Uh, swirl me.", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "No! I was Tivoing Cupcake Wars.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "What the Is a german muffin?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "This place is the exact opposite of Skymall.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "This place is lamer than outside.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "\u266a and I had to fight a squirrel \u266a", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "And I had to drink most of it to survive.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Oh, no. - Oh, no? - Oh, no. - No, no, no. I wasn't saying that...", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "I'm gonna leave the country. Bye, everybody. Bye.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "And actual cats, roughly 12 cats.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "I am listening to Steal my Sunshine by Len. A one-hit wonder, like me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Remember that woman who came up with the Harvest Festival idea and never came up with another idea again? What happened to her? What was her name? Kim? Anyway, who cares? She's stupid, and she's dead now.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "All due respect, Ms. Clack, stick a german muffin in it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "The transom is painted shut.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, there's, like, 50 cats in here.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, my breath is so bad.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "Yeah, she died, like, 20 minutes after that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Camping"}, {"t": "'Cause nobody wants to steal a Saturn.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday. But it's always a good idea to demonstrate to your co-workers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. Plus, it's always fun to see Tom faint.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "which is officially my friend Burly's home, because I don't have a home.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "And dinner parties do combine two of our favorite things... dinner and parties.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "It's like if you could have a Xbox pancake.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Yeah. Apparently they want me to bring Avatar and 50 pairs of 3-d glasses and a 3-d-capable television.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Well, this is a great city. You know, it's definitely the best city in Indiana, probably America, possibly the world.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "You know what, Jerry? I make fun of you a lot, but credit where credit is due. You know, I like how the... Damn it. I was so close. It's a terrible shirt.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "I was in charge of the cake. To be fair, it's not a cake so much as it is a vegetable loaf.", "c": ["Unknown health-conscious character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "So not only does this thing exist, but now you have deprived everyone of cake.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "We're in the jungle. There are no friends here. It's every woman for herself.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Dating is a zero-sum game. If you get a man, I don't get that man.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Well, you are a huge nerd. But I'd be sorry to see you go, man.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "So are you going on, like, a year-long walking tour of the set of The Lord of the Rings in New Zealand?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "To be honest with you, I wasn't a fan of, uh, Peter Jackson's interpretation.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "To each other.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Are you sick? Are you terminal? Is it like that movie A Walk to Remember?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Well, I mean, it's actually a really funny story. We were hanging out. And suddenly, I was like, 'What if we got married tomorrow?' And she was like... 'Fine.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Like, a house or, like, a condo or something. Probably a condo. It's... you can't just get a condo. No, you're right... house.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "It took me four years to find the right hairdresser, and we still fight all the time!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Is that that toothy girl from Mystic Pizza?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "No, I'm not. Um, I-I was just ribbing you.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "So you just laughed and said, 'Yeah'?", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Did you grow up in the woods? Are you Nell from the movie Nell?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "You get drunk. You make speeches. And you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "I'm going to. And then I'm gonna divorce him. Then I'm gonna marry him again.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "One time, I fell madly in love with a Civil War reenactor that I had only known for six hours. And then I found out he wore those clothes all the time. And he was married. But the clothes thing really bothered me.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "This shirt is hilarious.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Are there any strippers here? Former strippers? Non-dancers but you're feeling a little bit drunk?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "I don't know, Ann! Help me, please!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "No, Orin, I don't know how I'm going to die. Wait. Are you asking me or telling me?", "c": ["Unknown character", "Orin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "My Brita filter is older than their relationship.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "If you would do me the obligation of having your honor heretofore in the room doth right over there, uh, hence.", "c": ["Unknown officiant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Is that cool?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "And I don't care if I have to fight an ultimate fighter or a bear or him, your mom... I would take them down.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "So that one is dead. We know that.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Leslie, I got married twice. Both times, I was a lot older than those two. And both marriages ended in divorce... And a burning effigy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you're right. I get to burn another effigy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol... From a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Also, if anyone finds my gray hoodie, I lost it.", "c": ["April's sister"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Joke, Vince Vaughn quote, obviously. Swingers Crashers? Fred Claus. Talk about Andy's ex-girlfriends. Quote from Love Actually. Hold back your tears. Pause. Drop the microphone. Get out of that bitch.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "How can anyone ever possibly top that? Am I right? So thank you all for all the talking. Let's just get back to dancing, huh?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "However, he proudly told me that he 'beat herpes.'", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "I'm a nurse, actually.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "You're not still married, are you? But you... you're straight? Jean-Ralphio's just a friend?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "I mean, seriously, I cannot emphasize how little we thought about this.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. That's the same girl from the thing. From the wedding ceremony, yeah. All the good ones are taken, huh, bro?", "c": ["Random guy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "'Hope we can get together soon.' Okay, now you write, 'Who is this?'", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "We're having so much fun, except for, uh, Roberta here turns out sucks at water-skiing so bad. I'm gonna divorce you.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Andy And Aprils Fancy Party"}, {"t": "Pawnee is, as you all know, the fourth most obese city in America. Soon to be number three. We're coming for you, San Antonio. No, we are not. We are slimming down.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I will be running backwards up the big hill behind the Walmart.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Don't freak out, but Joe from Sewage just unhooked your bra with his eyes.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Listen, if you're looking for a good time, why don't you come on down to the Toilet Party? That's what we call the Sewage Department.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Red meat can cause sluggishness, heart disease, even impotence. Has the opposite effect on me.", "c": ["Chris", "Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Is that a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger? If so, yes. Delicious.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Why would anyone do that to themselves?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "What do I get if I win? The rarest jewel of all. Victory over me, Ron Swanson.", "c": ["Chris", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I did get in trouble for shaking one... Yeah, I'm not allowed there anymore.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Uh...", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Bye, babe.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "He was like, 'Huh? What? Uh... Bye.' And then, he walked into an office that wasn't his.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I was... Crap on a crayfish. That really stings. I haven't pricked you, yet.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "You're a monster. Still haven't done it, yet.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["running_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Who the hell is Forp? I don't know. I couldn't really hear him. It sounded like his name was Forp.", "c": ["Ron", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I'm getting healthier snacks for the shoeshine stand. Chris is a food genius. Did you know that the food you eat becomes energy? Yeah. Boom. That's spaghetti. Nachos. That's a cookie.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "That's my husband.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Yellow-haired female. Likes waffles and news. Sexy, well-read blonde. Loves the sweeter things in life.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Organizing my agenda. Wait, that doesn't sound fun. Jamming on my planner.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Upstairs, there is this mural of wildflowers. And I like to sit on a bench in front of it. Really? It could be anywhere in the world. Paris, Hawaii, the Grand Canyon. Nope. Just the bench in front of the mural.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "What about, like, an actual meadow where wildflowers are? Eww, Ann. I'm scared of bees. Mural.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "They're condescending.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "He's dark and mysterious. And he can sing. And he plays the organ. I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I buy my burger ingredients at Food and Stuff, a discount food outlet equidistant from my home and my work. I came here for the same reason people go to the zoo.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Shh. Look at that thing. Nature is amazing.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. A 98% match? That's a soul mate-level match. I've never seen anything this high before.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Craig, your service is crap. Can you be more specific? Yes. Your soul mate match was totally wrong for me. I mean, I like him as a friend and everything, but I'd never go out with him. He's like a little sister to me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Really? Well, that's not gonna last. Excuse me? You heard me. Your marriage is a sham. Goodbye, Craig.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "He seems nice. Eh, he kind of lives in a barn.", "c": ["Ann", "April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "But for whatever reason, right now, only douchey guys are buying what you're selling. So, I should go and ask them what they think I'm selling. A douche-vestigation.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "She can't be in a wheelchair. No canes. No gray hair. So, basically, you're just attracted to me because I'm not an elderly person. Yeah. And as I aforementioned, you have a killer dumpster.", "c": ["Joe", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Would you like to sample our vegan bacon? 100% meatless. Yes, please.", "c": ["Store employee", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Sir? Is there a problem? I'm just making sure no one ever has to eat this. I don't think I can give you any more. I want one.", "c": ["Store employee", "Ron", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Fresh lettuce is my all-time favorite food. What's your favorite food? Well, I take Skittles, and I put it between two Starbursts. You know what I call it? Skittle sandwich? That's pretty good. No, I call it Andy's mouth surprise.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool blasterz, with a Z. I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big ol' cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fry-fry chicky-chick. Chicken parm is chicky-chicky parm-parm. Chicken cacciatore? Chicky catch. I call eggs pre-birds or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks food rakes.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "First wish? I have a huge house with a ton of balconies. And I would just stand out there and survey my empire, like a drug dealer in a Michael Bay movie.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Okay. I'm the CEO of the Spike TV network. And my best friend slash personal assistant is Oscar winner Jamie Foxx. And we create a raunchy animated series based on our friendship, called Tommy and the Foxx.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "They remake Point Break. I play both roles. Keanu and Swayze.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I said one thing. Honey? Pinwheel.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I once kissed a girl in college. Eight. Where I graduated summa cum laude in history. One. Zero. Negative a billion. Don't talk about it anymore, please.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I love Food and Stuff. It's where I buy all of my food. And most of my stuff.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Nope. Just the crows and the beef.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "98% match. Soul mate-level match. You wanna date me! This is a date!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Leslie Knope, Tom Haverford / Dating in the day, dating in the night / Dating all day 'cause he's keeping it tight / All right, Tom. Enough. / Dating in the car, dating on the floor / Dating everywhere 'cause she wants some more", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Oh, this is perfect for us. Three-bedroom, and... Oh, God, Les. It has that dream closet you've always wanted. A walk-in closet.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, boo. What's wrong? Where did you go? Come back to me. I need you, boo.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "There is some weird juju in this room right now.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "You know what else gets people's heart rate up? Doing it. Talking about sex with my boss.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I can't fight this feeling anymore. You and I, we're dating. You should be so lucky.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "They should fix that.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Look. Cucumber flower. Wow, that's so cute. Wait, that's a garnish. You're not supposed to eat that. What?", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Girl likes Indian food. What can I say?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "And as much as it pains me to admit this, it was not disgusting. I'm just saying. She knows what to do. It was stirring. It felt like...", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "This tastes as delicious as Beyonc\u00e9 smells. I'm guessing.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Stop being so pretentious, Kyle. Sorry.", "c": ["Andy", "Kyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Here's mine. It's a hamburger, made out of meat, on a bun, with nothing. Add ketchup if you want. I couldn't care less.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Granted, it's been a long time since I've had a hamburger.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Hard work never pays off. Cooking is dumb. I swear on this dead crow that I will never cook for you.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "He oversees every department. It simply can't happen.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Hey. Well, I think I'm allergic to chutney. Also, what's chutney? No clue.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "It's like door number two on Let's Make a Deal. Do you want the thing that you have, that you know you like, but isn't perfect, or do you give it up for what's behind door number two?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I think I like what I have. I'm gonna try to make it work with Tom. I'm kidding!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I made 26 profiles, each designed to attract a different type of girl. Tom A. Haverford. Sporty and sexy. Tom B. Haverford, smooth and soulful. Which letter did you get? N, Tom N. Haverford. The N stands for nerd!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Tom N. Haverford collects globes. Great. That's enough. His favorite movie is books.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "Every time I want you to shut up, from now on.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Soulmates"}, {"t": "I just wanted to remind you of the art show that's happening tonight at the Community Center. It's gonna be a lot of fun. - Great. Great. - Yeah. Well, that sounds cool. That sounds like something that'll be a big success, you know? I mean, like everything that you, uh--that you put your--your--your paws on-- your fingers.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "This isn't anything like your affair with Tom Haverford. - We weren't--you--you--", "c": ["Chris", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Ooh, sparks are flying! I may have to call the fire department. That's a government joke.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "I'm like that lightbulb-- weak, flickering, barely giving off any light, unable to make out with the lightbulb I want to make out with.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "You know what might make you feel better? - A hug? - Paxil. Do you want me to get you a prescription?", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "How hot is the woman that's looking for a place to stay? - No, it's me. I'm looking. - Oh, come on, that's not fair. You shouldn't have led me to believe it was a beautiful woman.", "c": ["Tom", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "I've been staying at the Pawnee Supersuites Motel for seven months. It's a charming little inn with wonderfully random wake-up calls, delightfully unstable temperatures, and, as of yesterday, bedbugs. 'Four stars!' Says nobody.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "I wish I could help you out, Benihana, but I can't.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "I have a ritual, and it starts on the couch. - Ecch. - We sit down. - Okay. Yep. - Clap my hands. - Lights dim. - I understand. - Boyz II Men... - Please stop. - Fades in. - Nope. Nope.", "c": ["Tom", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "You can't use the front door. You have to climb in through the back window. No personal phone conversations. If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal usted. And no electricity after 6:00 P.M.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "She's joking. Okay. You can use as much free electricity as you want. - It's free.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "if you ever watch a sad movie, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you've been crying. There's no noise allowed on mondays and no TV after breakfast.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "We leave the tv on all day long so burglars think that we're home when we're not, which is my idea that I'm trying to patent.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "- You want my gum? - Mm-hmm.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Okay, everyone, shut up! And look at me! Welcome to Visions of Nature. This room has several paintings in it. Some are big. Some are small. People did them, and they are here now.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "I also think it's pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they could just go outside and stand in it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Anyway, please do not misinterpret the fact that I am talking right now as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further. End of speech.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Are you guys frying marbles?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "We were checking to see if the fire alarm worked. It doesn't.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "The biggest challenge to picking the perfect roommate is finding someone who's willing to pay more than their share of rent without knowing it. I think we found that in Ben.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "So for my painting, I chose one of my very favorite Greek myths-- the centaur goddess Dyaphena slaying a great stag. - It's, uh, stunning. - It's breathtaking, Jerry. - Yeah. Really is. - Wow. Thanks, guys.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Oh. Oh, my God. That's me. Is that me? What? No. Oh, jeez, it does look like you.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "That's what you see when you close your eyes at night, Jerry-- topless Leslie glued to a horse.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Besides ride an escalator and drive a car.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. The baby is Tom. What? This is easily my favorite painting ever. What the hell, Jerry? Look at my potbelly. I look like a pregnant baby! And why am I so scared?", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "In one brushstroke, Jerry has killed the Jay-Z vibe that's taken me years to cultivate and replaced it with a fat, brown, baby vibe, which is not as cool of a vibe.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Uh, let's start with government-funded animal porn. Oh, I'm not sure that's fair. I want it destroyed, and I want a statement from this office apologizing for an obscene depiction of bestiality. Be--bestiality?", "c": ["Marcia", "Chris"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "And how did it get like that? Who had sex with what and gave birth to which?", "c": ["Marcia"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "In college, I was in a nude production of Cats.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Every great work of art contains a message. And the message of this painting is, 'get out of my way unless you want an arrow in your ass, Marcia.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Are you eating turkey chili off of a frisbee? It's pretty cute, right? No. Do you know what 'cute' means?", "c": ["Ben", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "We already spent your money on a new Xbox 360 and more frisbees to eat off of.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Cool. We'll get to be adults. Gee, golly, thanks, mister.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Leslie, for our viewers at home who might not know, are centaurs real? - No. - You absolutely sure?", "c": ["Perd", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "You guys--you wash your clothes in bubble bath? Eh, bubble bath, clothes soap, same thing. No, it's not. Well, they both make bubbles, so...", "c": ["Ben", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "When'd you get in the business? - Last year. - Fantastic.", "c": ["Perd", "Brandi"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "What Leslie and I want people to know is you should be able to have sex anywhere you want and show it anywhere you want, whether it's girl-on-girl action, bondage, or what have you.", "c": ["Brandi"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "For me, it's when the penis goes in.", "c": ["Brandi"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Which I organize into a pile or stack that I put into the freezer. - Why? - So they won't get lost.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "That's you in the painting. You're the fat baby! Aww... that's so cute. - Oh, you're into that? - No.", "c": ["Brandi", "Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Imagine my horror. I'm hanging upside-down with my gravity boots watching Perd.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Public art commission, filled with hippies who love public art and sometimes weed. Jackpot.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "If I had my laptop with me right now, I would show you a well-hidden folder with gigabytes of proof.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Please let the record reflect that the fat baby is referring to the painting. Hey! I am not a fat baby. I'm a small, slender man-- similar to actor Taye Diggs.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "- The Romans... - Perverts. - The Greeks... - Gay perverts. To great societies in Europe. Europeans.", "c": ["Leslie", "Marcia"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, there are nipples in it, so it just seems like we ought to be safe and destroy it.", "c": ["Art Commissioner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Or we could buy a Wii. You can handle this. I don't know, man. Why don't you just do it? No, I can't. I--I...Have a date. Ooh, what's his name?", "c": ["April", "Ben", "Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "There's, like, a 30% chance they'll both die.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Make me, stag! I am Dyaphena!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Get it all. Grab everything that we've seen it on TV and put it in this cart right now.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "My heart is racing. It's going literally 45 beats a minute.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "But if you think for one second I'm not also gonna get that marshmallow shooter so that I can shoot you in the face with marshmallows when you're asleep, then you're the dumbest woman I know.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Is that you as a naked horse? Does it look like me? I don't even-- Leslie, I mean, not to be inappropriate or anything, 'cause you're my boss and my friend, but I would totally hit that. - So would I.", "c": ["April", "Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Oh, plates.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "I mean, to be honest, that seems like the kind of thing I would do. And I didn't think you would give in.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "She stole money from you. What? No, no, Andy, she did not.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Look at me and April. If you're anything like us, three weeks from now, you'll be married, my friend.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "But I think you'll find no one could possibly be offended, unless, of course, they have a problem with centaurs having modern haircuts.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "Is your penis between the front arms or the back legs? - Yeah, where's your penis? - Damn it, Jerry!", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "And poundcake... am I right?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Jerrys Painting"}, {"t": "I know how much you enjoy paperwork, but don't hover.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "\u266a Birthday, birthday, birthday \u266a \u266a it's your birthday \u266a", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Nice bench. Is that new? / No, that's been there since the '90s.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Until a well-placed bribe to a gentleman at Baskin-Robbins revealed... Ron's birthday is on Friday.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "All for a free scoop of rum raisin. Was it worth it, Ron? Was it?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "And that's coming from someone who has a Mercedes... With a Harman Kardon Logic 7 surround-sound system.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Three words... Lindsay Carlisle Shay.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "and lost something else. What was it again? Oh, yeah. Her soul.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Our side is this scrappy piece of land where kids go to smash fluorescent light tubes. But it has a lot of heart.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "That's what people always say when something sucks.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "although on average, we are several inches shorter and 80 pounds heavier.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Leslie has a lot of qualities I find horrifying. But the worst one by far is how thoughtful she can be.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Why don't we build a fence around their fence? [...] so if they needed to get to their fence for maintenance and whatnot, their pants might get caught.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna suggest one more time that we burn it down. But whatever you guys think.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Okay, I-I'm just gonna suggest one more time that we burn it down. But whatever you guys think.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Also, what about your neon gangster fedora hats?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Hi, Dan. - Ben. - It's not important. It won't come up again.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. It's just, nursing... You must be so tired. It's sad.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Pawnee is and always will be a dirty, little nightmare from which you will never wake up.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "What? I'm not asleep. I'm awake. I'm wide awake, and I got my eyes on you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "That's what I would've said if I had thought of it in the moment. What did I say instead?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "They had a valet.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "What, did you just come from the stables? - Yes. I was just at the stables.", "c": ["Tom", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "There is no street parking at my house. My house is not even on a street.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "These were for a sick child at the hospital. - Ah.", "c": ["April", "Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Oh, you can't, because you broke your arm climbing that fence. - Uh, I can wave with this arm. - No, you can't. Both your arms are broken.", "c": ["Leslie", "Joey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Isn't she trying her hardest? So cute and so good.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "She kidnapped me from work, and then she took me to that place, Senor Vega's [...] And then there was a bouncy castle. Did you know they made those for adults?", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Did you guys get your public forum gift bag? There's an iPod touch in here.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Unless... That's exactly what she wants me to do.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "paranoia"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "And if you have any job openings, maybe you should let me know about 'em. [...] I'm sick of being treated like I'm not willing to relocate to Eagleton, because I am!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "You might have a fancy car and a mahogany purse, or whatever rich people have,", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "You might have a fancy car and a mahogany purse, or whatever rich people have", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "These waffles make great dog laxatives. [...] Don't you dare feed that waffle to that dog to get it to poop.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Sambuca need to make? There you go.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Dog"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Did G.B. Shaw write that for you? - Did G.B. Shaw write your stupid fartface?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Can I offer you anything... herbal tea, Greek yogurt?", "c": ["Eagleton Officer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "I love you like a father who's not that much older than me... like a young Uncle... or like, uh, you were my camp counselor", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Leslie assigned me to the kidnap squad.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Ann, put these scones in your bra. Let's go.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "That was just a list of ways to mess with you. - She do 'em all? - She did indeed.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron", "April"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Next year, your birthday party is gonna be a rager.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "This, by the way, is a one-time-only situation. Next year, your birthday party is gonna be a rager.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Eagleton"}, {"t": "Sounds like you took a snake and twisted it like a rag until its blood and guts came out.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I mix a bunch of alcohol together, I add some sugar and coffee and some other junk, and it kind of tastes like Kahlua.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Done-zo list explanation and escalation", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I just... I couldn't deal with his face.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Oh, well, I'm technically out of the country. So I would have to call him from a weird number.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "He's a triple Pisces.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Jerry, you'll be playing a boring beer drinker. Your name will be Jerry.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "'Ca-razy.' Like 'crazy.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "My only official recommendations are U.S. Army-issued mustache trimmers, Morton Salt, and the C.R. Laurence Fein two-inch, axe-style scraper oscillating knife blade.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Series of Dennis Cooper's revenge signs about his wife's affair", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "The Department of Health congratulates Jan Cooper. Miss Chlamydia.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Yes, I know. I couldn't get it earlier.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Because I'm almost done with it, Ann. And I want to talk to you about Patty.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "It happened once. Just once. That already is too many times.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "That makes it sexy. / Can I use a weird voice and try to freak people out?", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "'K' to the 'N' to the 'O-P-E,' she's the dopest little shorty in all Pawnee, Indiana. / Why didn't you just stop at 'Pawnee'?", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "She might be up all night, but I think someone else is gonna be doing the cramming. Uh-oh!", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Is there enough room for some 'man-aise' in this lady sandwich?", "c": ["The Douche"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Wait! Were you on the show where we had that stripper do math? Classic, right?", "c": ["The Douche"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Reaction beat - Leslie's silence after 'Classic, right?'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Janet Snakehole and Bert Macklin introduction sequence", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I got to admit, I thought your costume would maybe be a little bit sluttier.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Tom's rapid-fire terrible business ideas list", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "If you don't, I'll shave Jean-Ralphio's head. / Yeah, I'd like to see that.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Damn, if that isn't delicious.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "If you're looking for douches, they're in Aisle Me.", "c": ["The Douche"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I don't know. He's dumb, but he's fun. / Thank you.", "c": ["Ann", "The Douche"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Well, this hat is an idiot.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Ron's Snake Juice endorsement speech", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "It's 140 proof, which means it's 70% alcohol. But don't worry. There's plenty of caffeine in it to keep you awake.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I believe an ounce of that would literally kill me.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Leslie and Ann's escalating drunk fight", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "You're stupid, and you're drunk and you're stupid.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "You don't even know one thing. I didn't even say one thing. And then she asked me the whole thing, and I didn't even do it once.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I'm like an elephant, okay? If I walk into a room, it's like, okay, he's in there.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Bababooey.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Farts and poop and love and stuff / Macaroni salad", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Your mother's butt.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I'm so alone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Really? / No, I threw up in the shower.", "c": ["Leslie", "Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "First, you take the cow to the killing floor...", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Then our heads will explode, and we will die.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I owe her, like, a million apologies. I think I owe you one, too. I'm sorry. For what? I don't know.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. For what? / I don't know.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. For what? I don't know. Are you okay? No, I'm sad.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "emotional_truth"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Bert Macklin may be dead, but I'm his brother Kip Hackman. Why wouldn't you have his same last name? Shut up, Kyle.", "c": ["Andy", "Kyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "plot_hole"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "You know what? Snitches get stitches.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Snitches get stitches.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "It's like when Vin did Boiler Room. That's what led to him being xXx and doing Furious.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "You're wearing snow pants.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I got home last night, and I thought I might go sledding.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I can't believe that Leslie and I got drunk in a bar and fought about boys. We're so much better than that.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "What the hell is in Snake Juice, Demerol?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Just rent a limo, ask her to the prom. I'm sure she'll say yes.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Just rent a limo, ask her to the prom. I'm sure she'll say yes.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Jan Cooper was a terrible wife. I just want everybody to know that.", "c": ["Dennis Cooper"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Your sweater's on inside out. And backwards.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "That should be the official slogan for Snake Juice.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "But first, I am gonna go throw up in a wastebasket. Would you mind if I joined you? Not at all. Shall we?", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "bonding"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. It doesn't matter. But work is third.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Hello? Did you wet your whistle? I wish. Me likey. Who knows? She's probably a lesbian. They were in the bathroom a long time.", "c": ["The Douche", "Crazy Ira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "The Douche's radio show recap and reactions", "c": ["The Douche", "Crazy Ira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I was thinking about you when I wrote it. 'Cause I was, um... 'Cause I told you I wanted to read it? Yeah. That's a good reason.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "All right, 'Lesliemin.' Leslie.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Wow! That was the most sexual tension I have ever seen in a conversation about documents.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "[Ben and Leslie's awkward physical positioning and forced enthusiasm]", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Right here. Ah... Ah... And go team! Yep.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "This is actually the dress that Julia Roberts wore as a prostitute in Pretty Woman. I know. I look really good in it.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I could literally get 'a-fired.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Why don't you ask him about his penis?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Pawnee Zoo, monkey speaking.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "I'm your boss. That's a good one, Ron.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "I developed a dope new game show where I ask couples scandalous questions, and they have to guess what the other one answered. I call this Know Ya Boo.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "My favorite movie is Love Don't Cost a Thing, with Nick Cannon, which is based on Can't Buy Me Love, which is based on Kramer vs. Kramer or something, which I think was Shakespeare.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Spike, G4, GSN, Fuse, WOW, Boom, Zip, Kablam, Slurp, Slurp Latin, Slurp HD.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Did you go to Johns Hopkins? No.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Jimmy Carter's 'Crisis of Confidence' speech, Learning to Speak Mandarin, 16 minutes of Old Timey Car Horn, and something called Banjo Boogie Bonanza.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "It's an amazing instrument, the banjo. Yeah. I didn't realize it could be this loud.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "But aren't you here now? No.", "c": ["Student", "April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "and with me as always is my CGI puppy co-host, Bobby the Boo! Hey, everybody!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Um, this is almost too easy. Me!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Who is Jeff Mangum? The guy from Neutral Milk Hotel. Oh! Oh. Neutral Milk Hotel. What is that? That's my favorite band. I've told you that, like, a thousand times.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Booyah! Somebody don't know their boo! That's the sound bite that's gonna play when a fight breaks out.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "I'm gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine-year-old.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "You have mustard in your mustache. Don't sass me, Burkiss. Let's get started.", "c": ["Lauren", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "I snuck an Al Green song in there. I want them to get together. Sue me.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Their bath mats are amazing. It's like stepping on a lamb.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "You've got an eyelash on your face. I got it. Make a wish. Learning to speak Mandarin. Unit three. Get away from me. Sorry.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "I'm allergic to fingers.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "and our seats have extra cushioning due to the massive size of our average citizen.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town, and we have ours.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "I mean, the people are passionate and kind. They love their city. They take pride in their work. It's a very, very special place.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Back of my Benz? Let's check in with your boo! He said, 'Her Mercedes'! Jerry and Donna on fire.", "c": ["Donna", "Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "'Cause their music is sad, and depressing, and weird. And art is supposed to be happy and fun, and everyone knows that.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "And that, Lauren, is how taxes work. But that's not fair. You're learning.", "c": ["Ron", "Lauren"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Hey, we were thinking about going to dinner, photographer. You want in? You wanna grab some grub?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Come on, photographer. Last chance.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "And that, Lauren, is how FDR ruined this country.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "You are, and this is not a joke, much smarter than most of the people who work in this building.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "This is a Claymore land mine. Use that to protect your property. Thanks, Ron.", "c": ["Ron", "Lauren"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "You figured out April's trying to trick you. That's worth 100 points.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "And the town has really nice blond hair, too, and has read a shocking number of political biographies for a town, which I like.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go see a man about some porcelain, you know what I mean? I'm not buying cocaine. I'm going to the bathroom. The whiz palace, as I like to call it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Ann, we have a serious code Ben. Well, it's not really code if you say his name.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "No, you're supposed to talk me out of this. No. Don't. Stop. Shut up, Ann, I'm doing it anyway. Yay!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "There is literally nothing in this world that you cannot do.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Sorry, I keep myself very well hydrated, and my bladder is the size of a thimble. I urinate roughly 12 times a night.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "The key to a healthy urethra, radishes. Good, I'm gonna go to bed. Good night. Good night. Well, now I'm up. You wanna Boggle?", "c": ["Chris", "Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "And you gave her a land mine? Really? Well, it seemed appropriate at the time. How?", "c": ["Mrs. Burkiss", "Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "Oh, boy. Okay. Well, Andy just wants you to be proud of him and his music. So, this isn't really about being right. It's more about being supportive. Oh, wow. I didn't realize you were a marriage counselor, Ann.", "c": ["Ann", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "The pit. Wait a minute. You were in the pit. We all were in the pit.", "c": ["Andy", "April", "Mouse Rat"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "I actually stole it from his office, but whatever. He's a weirdo.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "We're totally gonna do it later! Oh, my God.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "The drinking age is 21. I know. Another stupid government rule.", "c": ["Lauren", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Road Trip"}, {"t": "I put a poisonous gas in one of these balloons, so if any of them pops, you may die.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "No, April, we would all die. Gases fill the volume of whatever container they're in.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "School.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "11:00 a.m., 'The start-paperwork jamboree.' And then 12:00 noon sharp is the inaugural 'D-Ann-ce Party.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Get these (BLEEP) balloons out of here.", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I think at some point, you and I should probably make out with each other. Yeah, good call.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "The best part of any relationship is the beginning. No problems, no fights. Just white wine, cuddling, and crazy amounts of History Channel documentaries.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Just a coincidence. We get it all the time. We laugh about it. But I've never met her. She's Filipino.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "You know what I should do? I should get my mother a one-way ticket to London, leaving today.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Stuart, please, could you give us, like, 45 minutes? It's my office, too. Stuart.", "c": ["Ann", "Stuart"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "You are an intelligent, charismatic, beautiful superhero.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I just grab a few donuts, sit back, and enjoy the show.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Is this a nightmare? April, wake up.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I did recently sell my Chronicles of Riddick DVD on eBay for $10. Used the profits to buy the Blu-ray.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I saw someone buy crystal meth out of a vending machine. It's a bad place.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I will give 110 percent! Well, as soon as you repeat yourself in a more interesting way.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Looks like you got some shirt on your coffee.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Fun anecdote.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Then I'm confused, Ben, because you just told me it was. Five seconds ago.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "This desk is the epitome of the Swedish concept of j\u00e4mst\u00e4lldhet, or 'equality.'", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Swivel! What is it, Jerry? You told me to say your name. And you did a great job, superstar.", "c": ["Chris", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "You look like a freak. Swivel!", "c": ["April", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I loved that pillar. It made it really annoying to stand in my doorway.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "There's a whole room on the fourth floor where they store the knives they've confiscated from people who went to the fourth floor to stab someone.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Hello, Wall Street. Buy more stocks. Now.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "This phone kind of smells like a butt. Try not to move things around. Because technically speaking, this is still a crime scene.", "c": ["Andy", "Ethel"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Remind me next time to ask her where she was when Lincoln got shot.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "And I definitely heard your feedback from last time, so I only put five Sarah McLachlan songs on this one.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I mean, at one point, for no reason, I just took off my shoes and held them in my hand.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "He's like a goofy, spineless jellyfish.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "When I first met you, I thought you were a fascist hard-ass. What? A cute fascist hard-ass.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Or we could go to Belize and go scuba diving. And we could look at the whale sharks. You're certified, right? Let's get you certified.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Sir, are you aware that there is waste in your water system?", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Hello. Wrong. What? No preambles. No introductions. Just walk in and start talking.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "'Um' is the sound in 'dumb.' That's what she says to people.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Here is a list of my mother's top 100 favorite conversation topics, starting with Persian rugs, ending with Daniel Craig.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Tell Mort I said 'Your move.'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "How? By shining down on them with the Haverford charm ray.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Julianne Moore just called. She wants her hair back. Nobody named Julien called.", "c": ["Tom", "Ethel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "And, two, will you please invite me to your 30th birthday party?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll just find an open window and plummet to my death. Okay.", "c": ["Ron", "Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I'm down to one word a minute, and the word is 'perflipisklup' because I can't fly spaceships.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "But this is Chris Traeger, the six million dollar man. He won't quit.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Wow, maybe you should talk to him, Mom. He seems pretty self-assured.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Who was that? I don't know. I saw her crying, and so I helped.", "c": ["Jerry", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Let your brain unlock the door to your heart's future. I made that expression up when I was 14. Still in use today. By me.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "'You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.' I love Calvin and Hobbes. Me, too!", "c": ["Ben", "Marlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "You two are just the cutest things on four legs! But why so much black? It's like you're going to a funeral.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Stop laughing, Muriel. Stop it!", "c": ["Ethel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Your mom kind of, um, made a pass at me.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "So, Webster's dictionary describes a pork as a... No, it's park... Park. I'm sorry. Geez, okay.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "You have come up with a plan so spectacularly horrible that it might ruin the entire department. Now, wait a minute. I mean that as a compliment.", "c": ["Ron", "Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "And you shine a light on him, and he shrinks up faster than an Eskimo's scrotum.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "I may have a compromise.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "How were you dressed? Oh, my God.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Four buses. Two. Deal.", "c": ["Marlene", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "A year ago, I lived in a pit. Now I got a job, and a kickass wife. And my band is so good, and are you gonna eat that pecan square?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "When life gives me lemons, I'm gonna slice them up into wedges and throw them into vodka tonics, which I will then sip in a burlesque nightclub that I co-own with actor Taye Diggs and two of the Pussycat Dolls.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Citizen request. Swivel, swivel, swivel. Hello. I can help you in here, sir.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "Everything I built. Jump up here. I'll show you how it's done. See, your problem is you're thinking too much.", "c": ["Shoe shine customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "What a moron.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Bubble"}, {"t": "This is it for certain, okay? I create a game show. Two people on stage, right? They flip a coin. One of them has to perform open-heart surgery. The other one has to receive open-heart surgery. We call it Open-Heart Surgery.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "How about this? You buy a Gulfstream G-IV jet. Already interested. Take the wheels off. Get 'em off of there. Turn the jet into an apartment building. People could live inside their own private jet.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "I made my money the old-fashioned way. I got run over by a Lexus", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Do you want to get run over? Because I know a guy. Super gentle. Minor scrapes and bruises, major dollars and cents.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "I got it. What are you amazing at? I know it. We both know it, let's just say it at the same time. Creating spectacles. ...spectacles.", "c": ["Tom", "Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Entertainment 7Twenty... 'Cause you're willing to go around the world twice for your clients. That is unbelievable!", "c": ["Tom", "Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Yay! Li'I Sebastian! He died last night. No.", "c": ["Leslie", "Multiple"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "When I walked in this morning and saw the flag was at half-mast, I thought, 'All right. Another bureaucrat ate it.' But then I found out it was Li'I Sebastian. Half-mast is too high. Show some damned respect.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "For Li'I Sebastian, I imagine it was good fresh oats, a trough of water, and a willing sexual partner. Or non-willing. He was a horse, so I think they had to do it either way.", "c": ["Talking head speaker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Leslie's busy, she's working on the Li'I Sebastian memorial service. But you know what? She did give me this note to give to you, and she also wanted me to kiss you deeply, which I'm going to have to pass on.", "c": ["Ann", "Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "She drew a kiss monster on the note.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "We just like to work in the same place, and then we talk and hold hands. Yuck, that's somehow worse.", "c": ["Ben", "Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "We need to send that glorious beast into the great beyond with a display that rivals the Super Bowl half-time show. Also, the budget is $600.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "It's just a list of facts. What? Okay, mine says, 'You have a cute butt.'", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "That's weird. Must be a typo. Yeah, Jerry, it's probably a typo, because it probably should've said, 'You have a cube butt.' 'Cause your butt's shaped like a cube.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Cube butt, cube butt.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "The other option was shoulder cancer. Really? No.", "c": ["Doctor", "Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Dr. Harris, you are literally the meanest person I have ever met.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "What was that tone? What? Oh, nothing. I'm very sad about this.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Jean-Ralphio is a clown. This is the memorial for Li'I Sebastian, not double-coupon night at a strip club. First off, double-coupon night is an incredible value.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Li'I Sebastian died? That's terrible. Yeah, well, he was old, and he had a lot of ailments. Like tendonitis? I don't know. I don't have his chart in front of me.", "c": ["Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "How long have you been sleeping with Ben? What? How long have you been sleeping with Ben? That's disgusting and wrong. I don't even get... Why would... I... I've never had sex with anyone anywhere.", "c": ["Chris", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Ben is my boss, technically. And he is terrible, facewise. And how... How do I know, frankly, that you're not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off. Hmm. Check and mate.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Plus, Ben butt-dialed me last night. Okay, okay. And this is how Eleanor Roosevelt would kiss. Whoa. Eleanor likes the tongue.", "c": ["Ron", "Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Oh, President Reagan, my blazer popped open. Well, Maggie Thatcher, let me help you with that. It's gonna be a bumpy ride to this summit meeting. Our countries have had a very... special relationship...", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "In my heart, I'm sad you had to die. Li'I horse, spread your wings and learn to fly. Horses don't fly. That's why I'm telling him, 'learn to fly.'", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "You're a champion little horse And you're dead You're the champion of death", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Which one floats your penis? They're all black. Maybe to the layman, Jerry. Obsidian, onyx, midnight, lost soul, rolling blackout, sleeping panther, and void by Armani.", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Is tendonitis symptomatic of something larger? Really, that's the question you wanted to ask me? I'm just very worried.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "I won the MacArthur Genius Grant. Yeah. Yeah, so that's what the hug was all about.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Coconut just took a dump on the stage. We gotta clean that up. Code red. Coconut just took a dump onstage.", "c": ["Event coordinator"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Hope you brought a change of clothes. 'Cause your eyes are about to piss tears. You nasty.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "I'm Thelma, you're Louise. You can't die full of regret. Why don't you live your life like that cow from the video? He was a horse. Yeah.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "What's 5,000 times better than a candle in the wind? This song is called 5,000 Candles in the Wind.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Up in horsey heaven Here's the thing You trade your legs for angel's wings And once we've all said goodbye You take a running leap and you learn to fly", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "I think if you would know one thing about me, it would be that I prefer laying wreaths to lighting torches.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven, and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'I Sebastian had passed.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "No, they were out. So I just got a big thing of lighter fluid. It's kind of the same thing. Huh? Oh! We planned that! Wow, wow!", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Ron, are you mad at me? 'Cause without eyebrows, I can't really tell.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "You have no interest in government work, and you slow everything down with your selfish attitude. I'd love for you to stick around, Tommy. It'll be damn hard to replace you. But I'll support you either way.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Two of my lovers in one place. What a coincidence.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "An hour ago, a giant fireball consumed my entire face. And it was far preferable to spending another second with you.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "I did do 10,000 push-ups last week. Oh, really. That might have something to do with it.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "I'd much rather do 5,000 push-ups with a wonderful woman. Sitting on my back to increase my resistance.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Eighteen bucks each, $40 for the set. That doesn't add up. You don't add up.", "c": ["Andy", "Customer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Catching the number 12 bus to Satan's butthole? Actually, I prefer the number 69 train to Humpsville station.", "c": ["Donna", "Glenn"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "I saw her sweating real sexy on the StairMaster at Bally's. I need petty cash. My iPhone cover's gross and I need to get a new one.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio", "Tessa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Why do we keep our petty cash in a clear plastic toilet bowl? I don't know, maybe 'cause we're... Flush with cash", "c": ["Tom", "Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "We may not have any clients yet, but we're about to blow up. First you set up the pond, then you reel in the fish.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Lil Sebastian"}, {"t": "Absotootly, I am. Very sorry that I just used that word.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Leslie's confident 'Nope' after being asked about scandals", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Multiple 'Yay!' exchanges followed by 'Wait. What does that mean about you and Ben? I don't know. I think it's going to be really bad.'", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Uh-oh! Do you want to go back to saying 'yay'? Yes, please. Yay! Yay!", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "No, my other ex-wife, Tammy. Tammy One.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I have accrued 228 personal days. Starting right now, I'm using all of them.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Also, I keep a sizable supply of ground chuck in my desk. Remove it or it will begin to smell.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Hey, Ron. Move. Oh, jeez.", "c": ["Tammy One", "Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Warning. High levels of swagger coming through.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "What exactly do we do? Let's just say, it's too hard to explain.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Donna, you look amazing. How are the kids? I don't have kids. Wow. How long has it been? Three weeks.", "c": ["Tom", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "How do you feel about my stance on Egyptian debt relief? It probably won't come up in a local city council election.", "c": ["Leslie", "Political advisor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "While other girls were playing with Barbies, I was playing with a Geraldine Ferraro action figure, that I made myself from a picture of her that I glued onto a Popsicle stick.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Ladies. Just ladies. Meeting for the ladies' yacht club. Anchors away, ladies.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Oh, Ann. You beautiful, naive, sophisticated newborn baby.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "A penis. What? Oh, my God. Oh. It's emailing me, too.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "You know what? Respect. That's a baller move. Pun intended.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "If I could go back in time and cut your eyeballs out, I would. Wow, that is so sweet. Thank you.", "c": ["Chris", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Oh! She can do Perd Hapley. Seriously. Can you do his TV show?", "c": ["Political advisors"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Black print, black background. It's the coolest possible color scheme. It's also a strong magnet, so keep it out of your wallet. It will destroy your credit cards. Guaranteed.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Destroy my credit cards. Debt and everything? Mr. Mayor, I promise you that we will find the owner of that wiener, and we will punish him.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "The testicles are like the ears of the genital system. They serve a very important function, but they're not that great to look at.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Well, frankly, Perd, it's not that big a deal, if you know what I mean. I don't know what you mean, but it had the cadence of a joke.", "c": ["Leslie", "Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "There you have it, where 'it' is the thing Leslie Knope just said about this situation.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "It's an L-shaped \u00e9clair. The 'L' is for Leslie, for your name.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Well, I started crying because he gave me an eclair. And then we made out and spent the night together. But this morning, in the cold light of day, I cooked breakfast and we made out some more.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Wow! You opposite of broke up with him. He gave me an \u00e9clair, Ann.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "stinkmaster69@alumni.sarahlawrencecollege.edu. Really? Sarah Lawrence? Yeah. I wanted a small college experience.", "c": ["Ben", "Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "There's an old sewage department saying, 'if you've got a nice drain pipe, there's no reason to hide it.' I doubt that's a saying.", "c": ["Joe", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "And you have the mumps. You might want to get that checked. Sweet. Someone's got mumps on his lumps.", "c": ["Ben", "Joe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "UP high. Anyone? Ron isn't here. His ex-wife, Tammy, came, and he got scared and ran away.", "c": ["Joe", "Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Well, as acting manager of the Parks Department, I declare that everything you are saying is stupid. Hah! I love you.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "So, take it. But, working at a start-up can be kind of risky. So, don't take it. But Tom told me to follow my dreams. So, take it. But this isn't my dream. So, don't take it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I don't know what to do. Me, neither. You give such good advice. Babe, I love you. You're welcome.", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Your inbox is literally filled with penises. Oh, look. Ed Miller from Payroll.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Do you need to get that? No, it's just penises.", "c": ["Political advisor", "Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "It's the entire Sanitation Department, from Muncie. Ugh!", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I would like a glass of red wine, and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I'm going to go to the bathroom. The whiz palace, as we like to call it here.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "If you're going to stay here, there are three rules you need to follow. One, no talk about Tammy One. Two, no talk about Ben. Three, no talk.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "You just violated rules number one and three. You lose your coffee privileges.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I'd really love to shoot a gun right now. Fishing it is.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Perfect. Just as a backup, I'm sending you some photos. That will not be necessary. That's me.", "c": ["Male employee", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "You think Bethenny Frankel sits behind a desk all day? She makes $100 million a year. How much do you make a year? $101 million.", "c": ["Tom", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "That's not what my company does. Although, maybe we'll start.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I figure we build a fire, roast the fish we shot, and make s'mores. I don't have the material for s'mores. I do. I always carry emergency s'more rations in my car.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "You know, when I was 12, my brother shot me in the pinky toe with a nail gun. Granted, it was a hilarious prank, and we all had a good laugh.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "You only have nine toes? I have the toes I have. Let's just leave it at that.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Sorry. That was uncalled for.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Shoe shining has been a pretty wild ride, but is it possible there's something more out there for me?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "One year from now, you, Andy Dwyer, will no longer be a shoe-shinist.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Kyle, beat it. I'm going to make out with my wife now. But you've only done half of one of my shoes. Here. Now, I haven't done anything. Scram, kid.", "c": ["Andy", "Kyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Will you pledge right now not to raise taxes? I think that's premature. No pledge, no vote.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Leslie, I'm going to work my ass off for you. I'll do anything you ask me. I will prove myself. You don't even have to pay me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "She has the tracking ability and body odor of a bloodhound.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. I actually don't even know if he has mumps. I forgot to look. I was distracted, by the largest penis I have ever seen.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "It's not you, it's me. I'm not ready for a commitment. I just don't like you anymore. I know it's hard to hear that, but You're boring. And, frankly, you disgust me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Leslie, there was a dude in the ladies' yacht club. Yeah, but I covered that pretty well.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Also, you've been making campaign speeches in your sleep. Granted, you always do that, but they got really specific and moving.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Or, perhaps, guilt for all the times I tried to smother you in your sleep.", "c": ["Tammy One"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Sit up straight. You're not doing your breasts any favors. Thank you. Honey, your breasts look amazing.", "c": ["Tammy One", "Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Im Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Budgetary Thunderdome", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Every time another department asks for more money, he just stares them down until they back off and, or, wet themselves", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "First of all, income tax is illegal", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "This is just another way for her to put her hand up my keister and control me like a puppet", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Jail, Ron. Ron, jail. Jail, Ron. Jail. You could go to jail. Jail. Jail. Jail.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Are you broken?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I will think of a better name for it by tomorrow", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Hey, thanks for texting me to hang out. I really felt like we'd developed a cool friendship, and it... Anyway, it was just nice to have that validated", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "No, of course. Yeah, no. I'll just put on my Star Wars pajamas and sit in my mom's basement and pore over some spreadsheets", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Yeah, sure, I'll take a look. Let's hit it. What do you... Right now? I have work. And I thought I had a friend", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "It's almost too easy. I can hear you. I know you can, Ben. That's how easy it is", "c": ["Tom", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "This one says, 'I bought supplies 2007'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "I've heavily invested in gold, which I've buried in several different locations around Pawnee. Or have I?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "That is a gentleman's agreement. I made that man a dining room table in exchange for 60 feet of copper pipe and a half pig", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Every 30 days, I buy shotgun shells and cigarettes, and send them home to my mom", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "My first ex-wife's name is Tammy. My second ex-wife's name is Tammy. My mom's name is Tamara. She goes by Tammy", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Ron's uncomfortable silence after revealing his Tammy pattern", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "That is Walt Morphling. He was the Director of Public Health, but he had to retire at 46 because he had diabetes", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "That is sad, but also, in this town, understandable", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Casual? Formal? Semi-formal? Sporty? Scary? Posh? Baby? Those are the Spice Girls. I just got caught up in my own thoughts", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "NBA's on strike, so we got him for only, like, 75% of his original NBA salary", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Your name is Angelo. Angelo, thank you so much for coming out. Get a thicker tie. It looks weird on you. Makes your head look like a fish", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Lastly, I hate the name Angelo. I'm gonna switch it up for you right now. Your new nickname is Jell-O Shot", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "A hundred thousand dollars a year with full medical", "c": ["Model/Receptionist"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "I mean, I would guess they'll be bankrupt by the end of this sentence", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "We first took up together when I was 15", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "She was my math teacher in middle school and my babysitter, and she taught drivers ed", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "I don't think it will be necessary for you to speak again while I'm here", "c": ["Tammy One"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "You know, sometimes, you eat chicken and you get food poisoning, and then even the sight of chicken makes you sick? Tammy One is my blonde chicken", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Oh, are we playing a game where everyone says something stupid?", "c": ["Tammy One"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Tim. Tim Buckanowski. Really? No. Andy Dwyer", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "I'm sure Ron will remember the meeting fondly while he makes toilet wine in a federal prison in Terre Haute", "c": ["Tammy One"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "She's the cold, distant mother I never had. I love her", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Leslie, you goofball. Tammy pointed out that my face looked better without any hair on it", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Hey, Jer. Hump day, am I right, buddy?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Yesterday, she converted my bank account into a joint bank account with her. Oh. That's great. And how is that going to help? Not sure", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "These emails aren't going to send themselves", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Great. Just as good, if not exactly the same, as the last one", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "In that last one, I left a nanosecond of a pause between the words 'together' and 'we'. It felt much better", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Do you want to know how we make money? By literally printing our own money", "c": ["Tom", "Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "We promote the company by going to clubs and tossing the bills in the air and screaming... Free money!", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Are we calling everybody 'baby' now? Because honestly, I love that. Are we saying 'Snapple' anytime we think something's dope? 'Cause I love that, baby", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "We're here to serve you, friend. I hope the rest of your day is cool beans", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Okay. First of all, it's disturbing that you wrote a memo at all", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Leslie, please. The government knows what it's doing", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Oh, gosh. I'm really in a pickle now", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "When Ron falls for Tammy Two he turns into a demonic sex maniac. But this? Neutered wimp? This is worse", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "In a sense, yes. But in another, truer sense, no, it is not", "c": ["Tammy One"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "You gold digger. You are literally a gold digger", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "The thing I love about Tammy is she calls me on my crap. Every guy needs that", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Don't forget to grab a free iPad on your way out. He didn't even grab one", "c": ["Tom", "Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "I cannot believe I dated him. For a long time. And he broke up with me", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "When Ron left her and we got together, she threw acid on my foot", "c": ["Tammy Two"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Ew! Could we take a peek at it?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "This is America, isn't it? Yes. Then, I don't have to answer stupid questions while standing on my own property", "c": ["Tammy Zero/Ron's Mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Okay, well, that's definitely Ron's mom", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "That's Swanson Family Mash Liquor. Made from the finest corn ever grown on American soil. Its only legal use is to strip varnish off of speedboats", "c": ["Tammy Zero"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "We use it to burn warts off of the mules", "c": ["Tammy Zero"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Marvin clonse. Glenn Close", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Shh! Go to bed, Jimmy", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Oh, right. That's why I dated him", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Get rid of four of those accountants. You don't need five accountants", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Whatever. I'm Puerto Rican. I can handle it", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "That's decoy gold. You think I'd leave my gold in a locked safe buried underground, where anyone could find it? You don't know me at all", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.9, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "I intend to be there the minute you die", "c": ["Tammy One"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Ron, your family is weird", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Tom told me that chair was $27,000. That chair, that has a roof", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "She's probably being paid upwards of $100,000 a year", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Tammys"}, {"t": "Sweetums Cares, a non-profit group, that puts umbrella hats on homeless people when it rains", "c": ["Radio announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "David Parker, who took off for eight months to study the migration patterns of our nation's squirrels. We have not seen him since.", "c": ["Derry Murbles"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "we removed a lot of my poems and emotional ramblings and pictures of unicorns", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "could one say that a book is nothing more than a painting of words, which are the notes on the tapestry of the greatest film ever sculpted?", "c": ["Derry Murbles"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "One could say that. But should one?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "the lesbian Afro-Norwegian funk duo, Nefertiti's Fjord", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Oh, wow. They are terrible. Yes, they're quite awful, but they are lesbians. So...", "c": ["Leslie", "Derry Murbles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Usually, I only read nautical novels and my own personal manifestos", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I started thinking about you as a woman and as a person, and I got carried away.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Okay, mine just says, 'Get well soon.' Aren't you sick? No. Something's off.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I can read over 3,000 words a minute, with total comprehension. One time, I read all of Siddhartha at a traffic stop.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I brought some Entertainment 720 pillowcases for your pillow. Never Stop Dreaming. Tom Haverford. I never do. Chris Traeger. Respect. Game recognize game.", "c": ["Tom", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "The Time-Traveler's Optometrist, by Pawnee's own Penelope Foster. A heartwarming story about a caveman eye doctor who travels to present-day Cincinnati and can see everything but love.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Unreadable. Then, Joan slaps her sticker on it. Best-seller four years in a row.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Well, she's not going to 'getch' me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "If there's one thing Leslie's not, it's sloppy. She's also not brief. This is going to take forever.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Here we go. Helping Leslie. Okey-doke.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Hi. Joan Callamezzo. Yeah. Hi, Ben Wyatt. We've met. I don't think so. Yeah, I was on your show. Nope.", "c": ["Joan", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl Without being disrespectful", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "At the risk of bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man, is me, smiling and taking partial credit.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Ben, I'm cute together with everybody.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Yeah, actually, in here it says that Pawnee is great. But in reality, it's terrible.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I've never used a phone in my life.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Here's my goal. I'm going to get these two people that I've known for a long time to talk to me for five minutes. Who am I kidding? One minute. One minute would be amazing.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Oh... Oh...Whoa! Where should... Over here? Back here? Where is it now? Come on. Stick it. Ooh! Hang on Stick the sticker. No, no, no. Not so fast. Put it on.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "We received a tip that you, Leslie 'Born and Raised' Knope, were not born in Pawnee. What? Gotcha!", "c": ["Joan", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I have to tell you. This feels like 'Gotcha' journalism. In what way? That way. You put 'Gotcha' on my face.", "c": ["Leslie", "Joan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Where was Leslie Knope actually born? Pawnee. We will pull out the world map and speculate wildly.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Not the 'Gotcha' dancers.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "That was despicable I am horrified at her tactics. That said, the show was very lively.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Joan 'Gotcha' Don't it hurt ya", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "When Leslie's in trouble, there's only one man for the job. Bert Macklin, FBI. You thought I was dead? So did the President's enemies.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "You know, I think I'm just gonna hang out here with you guys, if that's cool. It's not. Great. I could leave. I could. But I'm not going to. I will get my one minute of small talk, damn it.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "We wanted her to sign the 'Gotcha' wall.", "c": ["Pawnee Today staff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I was the first one to tell you that?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Joan's a married woman. She wants what she can't have. It's a game of cat and mouse.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I think I speak on behalf of everyone in the entire world when I say, we need to know the truth about where you were born", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "You should go back where you came from. I am back from where I came from. That sentence was confusing! You might as well be from China!", "c": ["Hostile audience member", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "When I was 18, Val Kilmer saw me at a mall and told me I should model. That never happened.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I'm like a caged peacock yearning for the wind on her haunches.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I'll have another drink, and so will this adorable hunk of caramel to my right.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Is she going to powder her vagina?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "You know, nerd culture is mainstream now. So, when you use the word 'nerd' derogatorily, it means you're the one that's out of the Zeitgeist.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Hey, April. I was looking to get some new music. And I was wondering if you could recommend anything. The Internet.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I really like your haircut. Where did you get it? Prison.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "How is your sister doing? She has the shingles. Who is your favorite character on Sex and the City? ALF.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "You're stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing that you bring with you? Silence.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "13% think I'm crazy-eyed? What? Why?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Eagleton is the land of rich, snobby jerks. There's a whole chapter about it in my book. I could write a second book about Eagleton and how stupid it is. And I'd call it, Eagleton: The Land of Rich, Snobby Jerks", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Take it down a notch, Alexis. I need a copy of my birth certificate.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Wow. That usually works.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "That's broken.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Take me home, dumpling. It's beddy time.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "They're making a sequel. I'm assuming with the same alternate timeline. But if J.J. Abrams and company expect us to believe that it's Spock with the romantic tension with Uhura and not Kirk well, let's just say the message boards are going nuts.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I want to take you both home and...bend you over and just...at the same time.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "It's not about the business anymore, man. She's a disaster. We've got to make sure she gets home safe.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Say what you will about Joan, but she knows how to decorate a bedroom. Wow. Oh, my God. Where the hell am I? I just want to see how soft these sheets are. One second. Tom. No. Come on. Let's go.", "c": ["Tom", "Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I also got this dude's briefcase. It was just laying there. Kind of a panic move. I believed in you. But you should put that back. Okay.", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I'm from Eagleton.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Pawnee Hospital was overrun with raccoons at the time, so we had to go to the next closest hospital.", "c": ["Leslie's mother"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "I'm the liar. I'm worse than a liar. I'm an... Eagletonian.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Well, this guy came in. He got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and he tried to cut himself out. Was there a lot of blood? What kind of blade did he use? Three and a half inch. Serrated. Buckets of blood.", "c": ["Ann", "April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Everyone in the universe loves a gross medical story. Boom! I win!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them. That's a genius move. Thank you. You're welcome, Lester.", "c": ["Ron", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Where you were born is a piece of trivia. Where you're from? That's what makes you who you are. And you are from Pawnee. You're more Pawnee than anyone I know.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Damn it. He's right. Well said. Thanks, Ron. You're welcome, Steve.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Well, thank you for getting me home last night. I wasn't feeling very well. Because of some bad seafood that I ate. Yes. That's probably what it was.", "c": ["Joan", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "When I was nine years old, I broke my arm sledding on that giant hill behind Kernston's Rubber Nipple factory. You know, Nipple Hill.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Do you remember when you peed your pants in second grade? Why did you bring that up? I said yes. You stuck your underwear in your drawer and you got real embarrassed, and then the teacher came over and pulled them out? And everybody called you 'the gerbil' because you always smelled like soiled wood chips?", "c": ["Leslie", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "But somewhere, in some town, there really are the best waffles in the world. So delicious and rich and golden brown that anyone who tasted them would decide never to leave that town. Somewhere, those waffles exist. Why can't it be here?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "Leslie? Here's the thing. I've been all over the state. Indianapolis, Bloomington, Lafayette, Muncie, Gary, all the places you mention in the book. And I've interviewed all the people you mentioned. And so far, there is not one incorrect fact.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "He just seems so happy. I didn't say anything.", "c": ["Donna", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Born And Raised"}, {"t": "This weekend, you have two parents. Me and Mother Nature. And I am Mother Nature's brother, Brother Nature.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "But you can call me Andy. Or Brother Nature. Your call.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "To Abigail, Flyest Hairstyle. And Ann gets the badge for Second-Flyest Hairstyle.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Oh. I wasn't competing for that. / I'll say.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Oh, my stars! I'm just a little lady. My fragile constitution cannot handle the fearsome outdoors.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Who is Leslie? My name is Annabelle Vandergraf.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "My first wedding ceremony took two hours. Because after the priest said, 'Repeat after me,' I fell silent.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "And they would never cancel Game of Thrones. It's a crossover hit. It's not just for fantasy enthusiasts. They're telling human stories in a fantasy world.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Although, I am just two sandwiches away from a free meatball sub.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "and I suppose in the most dire of circumstances, it can be a surface on which to make art.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "The second gift is the box itself.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "But they kind of turned out wrong, so they look like monsters.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "In the fire.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "It's a pioneer girl watching her grandmother get trampled by buffalo. Yeah. This right here is all the blood coming out of her face.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "D.J. Bluntz is in the building / Here to announce that Tom Haverford is in the building", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Donatella. T-Mobile. Three words for you. 'Treat.' 'Yo.' 'Self.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "He's like a skinny, little rubber band that's about to snap in half.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "I would say it's almost as good as lukewarm beans from a can. Right, Ron?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "your self-indulgent ethnic food court isn't helping.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "and then a puppet show about the Bill of Rights set to Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "We have one activity planned. Not getting killed.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Did you know that lab rats who are deprived of rest grow tumors all over their bodies? You should Google it. It's horrifying.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Oh, Lord. Is he eating soup on a bench alone?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "I would give myself a merit badge that says, 'Best Club Founder,' but I don't have one. So, I'm going to give myself, 'Prettiest Eyes,' as a placeholder.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "I secretly always wanted this badge, so it works out great.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "And I'll thank you to keep the ruckus down so my boys can focus on solitude.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Listen to me, Bento Box", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Needles in your face, pleasure in your base.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "I'm your dad's boss. And his much younger friend.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "I've created a mob of little Leslie Knope monsters. I'm so proud. And a little annoyed. But mostly proud.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "This is the most stressed out I've ever been in my life.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Biking for charity is literally one of my interests on Facebook.", "c": ["Millicent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "This forum, like all public forums, is a waste of time. Thank you.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "It's cold and dirty out here. And you guys have candy. I want the candy.", "c": ["Darren"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "I really want this dress, and I like this crystal beetle, but it's expensive and there's no use for it. / Donna Meagle? Treat Yourself.", "c": ["Ben", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "I'm a cashmere-velvet candy cane.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "I had an amazing lunch. I've already passed the kale salad I had.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Is this the Pawnee Goddesses? I've got the puppies you ordered. / Oh, the puppies for the puppy party that we're having in our cabin? Those puppies? / What? No...", "c": ["Delivery person", "Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Wyatt, if you could blow big money on one thing, not sock money, what would it be?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "This is a whole new level of nerd.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Batman's crying.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "I am a Goddess, a glorious female warrior. Queen of all that I survey. Enemies of fairness and equality, hear my womanly roar.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "When did kids get so interested in fun?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "There's chicken-heads everywhere, Ben. Chicken-heads all around this mall. You're going to find one and you're going to be great.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Why so serious?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "But it feels pretty good to have a bunch of little boys be super into me. That came out wrong.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "full disclosure, she did spend the night at my house.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "This will be no fun at all.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Well, give it a minute. God.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Pawnee Rangers"}, {"t": "Someone will die. Of fun. And of murder.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Blood orphans. No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "I really am amazing.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "From Kernston Rubber Nipples. The Nipple King.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Ted Flirtman or Rex Baggs... I made up both those names.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "I'm a sumo wrestler after he lost the weight.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "My parents' method of problem solving is to kind of keep everything bottled up and just subtly hint at what's bothering them. And after 36 years, they are still divorced.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "It's always been a dream of mine to be a rug, and it's finally happened.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "You are a policewoman. Yep. You're a regular... Sherlock Holmes. I solved that mystery before you did.", "c": ["Chris", "Donna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Replace his pasty British frailty with superhuman physical fitness, and you get... Sherlock Traeger.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "You can text without looking at your phone? I think it's rude not to maintain eye contact with the people that I'm talking to.", "c": ["Jerry", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Shock wire. I call it that, 'cause if you take a shower, and you touch the wire, you die!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "A hammer, half of a pretzel, baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, and a flashlight. Filled with jelly beans.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "That's because I don't hate myself, Tania.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "The details. Most people would probably say the deets. I say the 'tails. Just one example of innovation.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Look, I don't like to throw around the word butt-head too often. If you call everybody a butt-head, then it kind of loses its impact. But I can say without hesitation that Tom is being a real dick.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "You, bean bag, come with me. I'm an eggplant. I don't care. Come with me.", "c": ["Ron", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "He's going as lame.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "My name's Ben. I'm mad.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Enormous Kenny's Fried Dough Stand and Mobile Phone Emporium.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "You're lucky that Martin Kernston is here, 'cause you're gonna need another nipple.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Damn it, I just love it so much.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "I invented Facebook.", "c": ["Unknown actor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "I have one sister. We steal each other's stuff, hack each other's Twitter accounts, set each other's clothes on fire. There are no rules.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "The Dwyer method, which was yelling, wrestling, crying followed by lots of hugs. And then more wrestling, but the fun kind. And then crying when the fun kind of wrestling got out of hand.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "My company is bankrupt, okay? Entertainment 720 is dead.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "I don't know. I guess I just didn't moisturize enough this morning... With the company, Tom.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Psych! Blood capsules.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Well, hindsight is 20/20. Kind of seems like regular sight should have caught that one.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Stop using my comforter for your pillow forts... It's going to be about 5,600 bucks. Deal?", "c": ["Ben", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Peter Gabriel leaves Genesis.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Tom Haverford is a selfish, unctuous, sleazy, self-promoting, good-hearted, secretly kind and wonderful, tiny little person.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "And we may be having intercourse. Please, you've got to stop saying things like that to me.", "c": ["Chris", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Solve this mystery, genius.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Meet N Greet"}, {"t": "Again, Andy, you don't need to bow.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Turns out, when you think the world is ending, you don't aim so carefully in the Porta-Potties.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Well, they figure if people criticize them, it'll seem like they're attacking something very reasonable. That's weirdly brilliant.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "They've said that the world is gonna end 15 times, and the only bad thing that's ever happened on any of those dates is Lance Armstrong dumping Sheryl Crow.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "That was a tragic day. LIVESTRONG. Mmm.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "These people live on planet Nutbrain.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "I live on planet Nut Bran. Bran and nuts are very helpful for your colon.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Ben and I don't hang out much these days. Big deal. Lots of people don't hang out. Jerry and April. Obama and Madonna, probably.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "You started out with $450,000. Entertainment 720 is dead. It's up in company heaven. Along with Pets.com, Blockbuster, and Ask Jeeves.", "c": ["Tom", "Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "My company is no better than a company where you ask a fake butler to Google things for you.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "So what's next, Tommy Davidson? I say we invest our 10 large, and then I accidentally get run over by a city bus, and we start our own hip hop label.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Because I'm in like Lara Flynn Boyle from The Practice.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Diddly, diddly, diddly, diddly, diddly, diddly, swag.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "You watch me play Xbox. And then I can watch you make some prank phone calls. We get hammered, make out.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "That's because repetition is the key to a good marriage.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "I'd like to remake the movie Kazaam with Shaquille O'Neal where he plays a genie, and I'd like to get it right.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "When people are walking by, be like this. [visual gag of Andy demonstrating snooty airplane behavior]", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Whoa! Still a lot left over.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Yes! Now, this is what I imagined.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Have you ever seen this much cash in your entire life? I just handed it to you.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Nickels. I want nickels. A billion nickels!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "The Zorpies are ridiculous. But like the Founding Fathers, I believe in absolute freedom of religion. Also their ceremonies require the playing of flutes.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Flutes are $80 apiece, and recorders are $150.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Would you take a check? You can cash it tomorrow.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "The entire party is a VIP area. There's also a double VIP area. A triple VIP area. And a Centurion Club Elite VIP area. Sponsored by SoBe Lifewater. No one is allowed in there. Not even us.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "What up, Keith? He actually once tossed me out of a club three years ago. Water under the bridge.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Oh, thank God. No one shows up to a good party on time. If anyone had actually shown up right now, the whole party would have been ruined. Would have been a disaster.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "It's a little long. Okay. Zorp Shmorp. Doomsday Prediction Falls Flat as Citizens Spend Pleasant Evening Enjoying One of Pawnee's Finest Parks. Somehow longer.", "c": ["Shauna", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "He's a man, and he's a worker, and he is... We've never discussed sex, so... We've always just been very business-like, so your guess is as good, nay, better than mine.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "She smiles, and then they fall in love, and then they get married, and then she changes her name to Shauna Malwae-Wyatt. Or he's going to be really progressive and change his name to Ben Wyatt Malwae-Tweep. God, I am so annoyed that he would hypothetically do that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I know that move. They're going to have sex in five minutes.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah! 10 bucks. That counts as winning the lottery.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Honey, my bucket list doesn't say, 'Make a pretty awesome grilled cheese sandwich.' We gotta go back to the store.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Keep your pants on. What? I mean, keep your pants on, girl. I mean, those are really nice pants. I really like your pants. Where did you get them?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Because you can't go. I mean, what if you're not here when Zorp shows up? Boy, would your face be red.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "When Zorp shows up, your faces will be melted off and used as fuel.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Wow, what an unbelievably unpleasant person.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "It's a grand experiment, and I am a party scientist.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "That was Symphony for the Righteous Destruction of Humanity in E Minor by the late Lou Presotovich.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "And full disclosure, I think they're bonkersville.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "That of a fleshless, chattering skeleton when Zorp the Surveyor arrives and burns your flesh off with his volcano mouth.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "That was very strange, what you just said. I don't like it as much as that other thing you said.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Do you want to play a fun game with me that I made up called ChessRisk? It's half-chess, half-Risk, and it takes 15 hours to play.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! What? I forgot I have a thing I need to show you. Oh. I need to bring you there right now. It's so amazing. It's going to freak you out.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Just crazy enough to work. Help!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "My face is fine, Mikhail Petrov.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "He's stolen my jewels. And now, he's going to ravish my body. And he stinks! He really stinks!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Looks like this Siberian husky is going off to jail. Russian off to jail.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what? Can I go? Gayle is making a roast.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "This gas station was owned by Mick Jagger.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "But I think the most likely explanation is that legendary Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger owned this gas station from 1951 to 1958.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "I know what you're doing, Leslie. You know, you can't do this. You know, we broke up. And I kind of feel like we shouldn't hang out together, just the two of us. Because every time we do, it just makes it harder. You know?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "So I'll steal my dad's car. Look, this is a stupid idea, but right at this exact second, we have enough momentum to do something stupid before we realize how stupid it is.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Socket wrench sounds pretty good, actually.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Well, I'm a practicing none of your...business.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "I actually forgot they ever dated. I was trying to hit that.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Dawn is nigh. Zorp the Surveyor approaches, and all earthly debts will be repaid. Last call for donuts.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "If the world was ending tomorrow, I'd want to be with him. Well, that's significant. The problem is, Leslie, the world is not ending tomorrow. The sun's going to rise right over there. It will be a regular Friday, and you'll be in the exact same position you were in before.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "If it makes you feel any better, Leslie, we'll all be dead in 20 minutes. That does make me feel better. Thank you, Herb.", "c": ["Herb", "Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "I tell you what. You play whatever you want. I'm just going to take a real quick snooze for, like, 12 hours so I'm fresh.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Shauna Malwae-Tweep thinks you're cute. What? That's why I took you to Mick Jagger's abandoned gas station. Because she thinks you're cute, and I was afraid you guys were going to make out and have babies.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Oh, well, Shauna is not here. Oh. See what I did? I do. I'm very sneaky.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Where's all the faces? Like the presidents.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Well, math is hard.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Um, oh, on the 19th, we can't give you the park. We have a Spring Spectacular free ice cream giveaway. I misspoke. Yeah, it's May 20. That is free. Okay. Thanks. End of world. May 20th.", "c": ["Leslie", "Herb"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "End Of The World"}, {"t": "Oh hey, Ben. Have you seen my complete collection of all 193 national flags? Ooh! Here they are.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "I kinda want to roll up my sleeves and make geopolitical problem-solving my bitch.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Andy, will you be Iceland? / The bad guys from Mighty Ducks 2?", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "How 'bout Germany? / They've never been the bad guys.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "And I'll be the Moon. / No, you're gonna be South Africa or Pakistan. / I'm the Moon, or I quit.", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Fine. You be South Africa, and you can also secretly run the moon. / The Moon accepts your ridiculous proposal.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Look! I'll let you be America. / And teach kids that not only is government good but that there should be a World-wide super-government? I'd rather sand down my toenails.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Every three weeks, I have to sand down my toenails. They're too strong for clippers.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "I really wouldn't describe myself as a Model U.N. legend. I'd go with icon. Or hero.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Look, if you ask me, Enron is down but not out. Who doesn't like a comeback story?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Then two days ago, I saw him spraying cologne samples at Macy's.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "You were grinding with her pretty hard at April's Halloween party.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Wow. A four-date-long relationship might not be 100% perfect? I think you should launch a full-scale investigation.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "The root of sarcasm is truth, Ann. I am going to launch a full-scale investigation.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "But Ben and I have so much in common. I mean, we're amazing friends. And friendship is better because friends help you move. They drive you to the airport. Boyfriends just... love you and marry you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "You're too accessible. Every time she calls, you answer. You gotta dangle the carrot, literally and metaphorically.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "No, no, no. I was fired because I made a pass at an ethnic woman.", "c": ["Courtney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Oh, you know, hitchhiking around. I went to Mexico. I met a lot of ethnic girls. They grow on trees down there.", "c": ["Courtney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "He said he liked ethnic girls, Tom.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "I was the first person to abbreviate Parks and Recreation Department. First it was Parks and Recreation. Then Parks and Rec. Then P&R. Then lengthened it just a little bit to... Tommy's place.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Under-exaggerate much, France? Ha ha! Nice!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Leslie and I aren't dating anymore, but, uh, we're friends. So it's fun. It's just fun. It's fun... it's... fun... It is fun.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Honey! I just traded Finland's military to Kenya for 50 lions. That's pretty good, right?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "But also militaries are pretty good at protecting countries. / But so are lions. And you don't have to pay them.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "I definitely have more lions than any other country in the whole world right now. I have no idea what's going on. But if that ends up meaning something in this game, I'd say I'm set.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Well, how about me make it a cool 40?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Shut up, Bulgaria!", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Or, as they say in Denmark... 'I'm back.' Most people speak English.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "The nation of Denmark would like to formerly request a summit with the nation of Peru over there by the refreshment table. Because the nation of Denmark needs a juice box.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "You can't just chop up the aspects of a relationship into discrete parts and select the ones you want like a buffet. / Why not?", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Due to a recent betrayal, my homeland, the great state of Denmark, has officially decided to declare war on Peru. Scandinavian brothers, on my signal. Unleash hell!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "No. I'm not kidding. My name's Gary, and I'm from Gary, Indiana. Amazing. People like hearing that. It's probably one of my stronger anecdotes.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "A fact is not an anecdote, Gary. Here's an anecdote... Today I met the most boring man in the world. His name was Gary.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Under sex, you wrote... 'Yes. Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha.' Well-played.", "c": ["Tom", "Keith"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Like one... one month of money... Would be... would be just right.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "the only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Competent enough to keep the bosses off my back, but selfish enough to slow down all the work. Tom Haverfords don't grow on trees. If they did, I'd sell 'em. Tommy trees.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "I'm like a shark. I don't swim backwards.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Yeah! We got the freaking moon. What are you gonna do without tides, Peru?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "And the jacuzzi broke. But I did... eat food off of your body.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "'Cause you guys suck. Look around. We thought you were gonna teach us how to solve problems. You've ruined my favorite club. Thanks a lot.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "When Ben gets upset, he becomes a really bad roommate. He takes really long sadness baths and makes me late for stuff.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "you basically turned me into a female version of yourself, and then you got bored dating me because you were dating yourself.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Jogging is the worst, Chris. I mean, I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "If you rearrange the letters of Peru, you could spell Europe. / That's... That's not true. / Well... You have to rearrange them.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "How do you know about Camp David? / How do you know about camp David?", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Ben, how are we gonna get Kathy Ireland to do naked aerobics for them? / Okay. I regret telling you that... very much.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "There's a Macy's in town? Where's the Macy's in town? I heard they have an amazing cologne sample guy.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "The nicest room in City Hall by a factor of like a million.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Passion is what makes for good treaties... Good relationships... Good pizza. Good friends. Good everything. Including wars.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "Sorry. These are really important.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Treaty"}, {"t": "So, you're saying you want me to choose a new font? Yes, essentially, I'd like you to choose a new font.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Jerry, you're number three. There's only two of us.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "It is point-zero-zero-zero zero-zero-three square miles.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "But guess what, Terryville sucks old car tires and so does Martin Luther... No. He does not suck old car tires.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Oh, I did not graduate college because I did not 'attend it.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Horizons are dumb. Never broaden your horizons.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Of all my coworkers, he is one of a small number whom I do not actively root against.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "There I go, getting all sappy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "The only good font is the Sopranos one, where the R is a pistol.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "I'm more of a Steve Harvey. I dream big, I shake things up, and I always wear dope suits.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "I barely haven't even ever seen a gor-tar.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Guess what. I was secretly an undercover rock star this whole time.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "For what it's worth, I think you would make an incredible brunette.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "So, please join us for the grand opening of Pawnee's smallest park on November 12th, 2070.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Well, there's barely room for an actual basketball, much less a court.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "One of the most significant bummers of my lifetime.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Today I'm a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. And the Parks Department is a wrinkly old housewife in her early 30s.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "I once hosted a forum about a new bike rack that lasted seven hours. Now, when I need these people to complain, they're done in 45 minutes?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Why would I take a class on something that's already happened?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "I want to be burned at the stake.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Andy Dwyer will be taking Women's Lasers. Women's Studies. Sorry. God, I cannot stop thinking about lasers.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Andy Dwyer will be taking Women's Lasers. Women's Studies. Sorry. God, I cannot stop thinking about lasers.", "c": ["Ron", "Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "I do, Joe. Yeah, that's how I know just how high this conspiracy goes.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Well, guess what, Jerry. I'm a dreamer. Okay? I dream big. Deal with it.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "So, I don't think we should work together anymore.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Hello, ma'am, who is just as equal as men.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "I would like one ticket for Women.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "I'm going to beg for money on the street like a drug addict.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "You are a massive, enormous, runaway steamroller, with no brakes and a cement brick on the gas pedal.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Well, then, you should call me a bulldozer rather than a steamroller.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "The roll-y thing on the front of the machine. What do you call that? Roller? Probably.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Heck, I still use my original ID card from my first day on the job.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Good news, son. You have just won a Ron Swanson scholarship.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "One thing I promised myself when I buried gold in my backyard was that I'd never be a hoarder or a miser about it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "She once made me eat an entire cheesecake at a potluck so she didn't look bad.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Thanks. But most of the credit goes to my number four, Jerry.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "There is another option. We could just say, 'Screw it,' and do this thing for real.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "That is extremely incorrect. I thought maybe it was.", "c": ["Andy", "Professor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Smallest Park"}, {"t": "Listen, I was trying to buy this hand-crafted mahogany wood model of a B-25 Mitchell Panchito aircraft. - Aw, for me? - Don't sass me.", "c": ["Ron", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "And I went to this website, and this ad popped up that said 'Hey, Ron Swanson! Check out this great offer.' What's your question? My question is, what the hell?", "c": ["Ron", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Dude, if you think that's bad, go to Google Earth and type in your address.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I am, of course, shocked... And not just because Ben usually prefers tall brunettes.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Are you hugging me, or are we fighting? Are you hugging or fighting? Let me know.", "c": ["Leslie", "Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I told you we'd feel better.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Well, I wanted to get here early, you know, get a feel of the room. - So you got here-- - 3:00 A.M.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Well, I wanted to sneak in before you got here-- an absurd pipe dream I now realize was impossible.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Aw, thank you so much for making my life so wonderful. - You're welcome. - I was talking to him. - Of course. - But also to you.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "For me, a slap on the wrist is like a kick to the nuts.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "So, if you miss me, you just look at this... Wrinkled, hideous monster and you'll know I'm sitting there rooting for you, okay?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "His nickname was 'Old Stone Face' because of his steely demeanor and because he got in an accident at the rock quarry and dynamite blew up his face.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Well, you're radiating pure joy. I went to my herbalist and got two B-12 shots. And then I ate an unreasonable amount of St. John's wort, and my herbalist took this weird bee pollen paste rubbed it around my gums. And now my mouth feels like a spaceship.", "c": ["Leslie", "Chris"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "In 1849, Sarah Nelson Quindle exposed her elbow outdoors, which was a class 'A' felony. Although she felt the law unjust, she acknowledged that she had broken it, and she nobly accepted her punishment-- to be set adrift on Lake Michigan like a human popsicle.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "The night we returned was the first time we kissed each other on each other's mouths. It was excellent. That was unnecessary to add. I'm sorry. I'm nervous.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I received adorable nicknames and amazing back rubs. Oh, you mean professionally. No.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Andy, I need evidence. - Got it! Wait! You don't know what evidence. Ah, right on. Yes. Hit me.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Where are you looking? Look here, focus here. Get the files in the drawer, and then get all the file boxes in the office. Put the files in the drawer. Let's go. - No. - Okay, I'll go with him.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy", "Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I don't know the names of the other department heads. I'll go with him. Seriously? With the men in this office?", "c": ["Ron", "Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "But when you sit back and let your reputation be destroyed. You go down in history as a frozen whore.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Don't silence him. Just make sure he can't talk.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "That's Y-A and 18 'Y's and 44 exclamation points.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "In a world on the brink of financial meltdown... In a town unlike any other... An adorable man with a cute face and the future president of the United States-- what?--", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Ann! Ben and I hooked up last night! Aah! And I learned how to use iMovie. Call me later! Bye!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Did Tom Ford turn around the House of Gucci? I do not know, but I'll assume that that is a yes.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "How long were you two lovers? - Excuse me? - Oh, God.", "c": ["Chris", "Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "No, that would be like dating my older sister's elderly aunt.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I don't know why Leslie Knope's on trial. Ethel Beavers did it! - Beavers did it! - Sit down.", "c": ["Citizen", "Judge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I will hold myself in contempt of the court!", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Is this about the laptop? I didn't mean to steal it. I took it home, and I spaced. I forgot. I'm gonna bring it back. It totally works, but I got spaghetti in the keyboard.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Um, khakis and button-down shirts-- your basic white people clothes.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Oh, hell, no. I have ruined my share of hotel rooms, and trust me, nothing sexual happened in that room.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I've seen over 200 episodes of Law & Order, and it's paying off big-time.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "And by the way, we got the gramps-- grants. God! Oh. It was gonna be such an awesome moment.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Is it ethical for a court stenographer to bet on the outcome of a hearing? You tell me. You're the one on trial.", "c": ["Ethel", "Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Stop, please. I don't like to give out my address to anyone, much less have it on an official record.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "9301 Cedarcrest Dr-- - Beep! I didn't hear that. 9301 Cedarcrest Drive!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I can smell the sulfur coming off her cloven hooves.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "May I remind you that you are under oath, and if you lie, I will fire you and have you prosecuted. Nothing. They will definitively prove nothing. You cut me off. I don't have any evidence.", "c": ["Chris", "Tammy"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Oh, interesting tidbit-- I once bribed him to keep my relationship with Ben quiet.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Yeah! I got a facial. My wife said my skin was luminous.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I could read this if I weren't so blind.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I would like to request a 55-day recess.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Okay, mine doesn't have any pictures.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "In 1856, the city council banned all sexual positions except for missionary. And two years later, they banned missionary.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Black people still can't legally use city sidewalks.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Any woman caught laughing is a witch. That's true.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "When a good person does something bad, they own up to it. They try to learn something from it, and they move on.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Bribing someone to hide a sexcapade-- I'm proud to call you a friend.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "'Cause your actions wounded me to my core, which is not easy since the bulk of my workouts are focused on core strengthening.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "This is how I fight depression. Okay, fine. I'll stop.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Was all of this-- all the sneaking around, the scandal, losing your job-- Was it worth it? Yes. It was.", "c": ["Chris", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I'm literally crying and jumping. Crying noise, crying noise, nose blow.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Actually, my real name is Gary. Gary? On my first day here, the old director-- he called me Jerry, and I just didn't think I should correct him.", "c": ["Jerry/Gary", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "Gary Gergich? Jerry Gergich. Gary Gergich. Jerry-- God, they're both horrible. But Jerry's better. I'm gonna call you Jerry.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I can't get over the Gary/Jerry thing. Neither can I. Jerry, you can go. We need a five-minute break.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Trial Of Leslie Knope"}, {"t": "It's an experimental fabric called bumble-flex. It's made out of synthetic bees' wings.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "This is a nasal spray. Give me the flash drive. Give me the nasal spray.", "c": ["Leslie", "Chris"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Leslie Knope! I am much faster than you! I have bumble-flex!", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "I'm inventing a new spice called 'sal-gar.' It's part salt, part sugar.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "What could that possibly be good on? Butterscotch pudding.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Why didn't I resign in disgrace 12 years ago?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "You might want to stop saying 'resigned in disgrace.' Especially during job interviews.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Mouse Rat, certified gold! Over 100 copies sold in Pawnee!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "I know you're sad you couldn't get tickets to the 'Watch the Throne' tour, so I got you a watch and a tiny throne instead.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "She even took out the dumb clock part and put this in... 'Baller Time.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "These are the Black-eyed Peas. And I finally killed them.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Every year, I give Leslie the same present I give everyone: A crisp $20 bill. And every year, she gets me something thoughtful and personal. It makes me furious.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "She had it installed over the weekend. [Ron looking at elaborate bathroom setup]", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Aw, jeez. Socks. She gets me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "And Elizabeth, I got you a Knope 2012... Menorah...Maybe? No. No, okay. Then I got you a tree ornament.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "In fact, while I was in that meeting, I was also planning my mother's birthday party in my head. Strawberry margaritas! Another use for sal-gar!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Well, they call me 'the Swiss Army Accountant.' They don't call me that.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Calc-you-later.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "We do not get a lot of humor here, and when we do, it's wonderful. Ted! Come in here! Say it to Ted when he comes in.", "c": ["Interviewer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Did you just scoop it out of the jar with your hand like a bear? Yes.", "c": ["Tom", "Donna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "My latest attempt to drag this department into the 20th century. Tom, it's the 21st century. I know. I'd settle for getting you into the 20th.", "c": ["Tom", "April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "'Ben'... And much larger, 'Ann.' She definitely loves Ann.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "We make a gingerbread version of the office. That's so good! I think the wood model is-- and we can decorate our offices with candy canes and gumdrops! That would be so adorable! Thanks, Ron! That's such a cute idea!", "c": ["April", "Ron", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "You're putting an awful lot of sal-gar on your pasta. This is just sugar.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "I can hear you breathing, and, yes, you can finish her pasta. Thank God. I'm so hungry. Mmm, it tastes like froot loops.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Like the drug PCP, we are so fast-acting and powerful, we should be illegal.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "How amazing can he be if he got suspended? Pretty damn amazing, Diane. Now shush.", "c": ["Diane", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "See? His arms are crossed because he's mad at all the other marshmallow workers for annoying him. You like it? It's fine.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "When I was trying to decide how to decorate my office, I had to ask myself, 'what kind of candy should I choose?' Obviously chocolate, 'cause I'm sweet, smooth, and the ladies love me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "I didn't have time to make it into anything, and please don't eat it 'cause it cost $55 an ounce.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "But they do not make silver m&ms, so I spray-painted them. Okay, those are poisonous, so no one eat them.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Go throw up. I didn't eat any. Go throw up. Throw up.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "I like you-- I've always liked you-- but I also like Eddie. Ed--who--who's Eddie? Eddie's my current CFO, but I might fire him and hire you.", "c": ["Dennis Feinstein", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "You got kids? No. That's good. Dum-dum Eddie has two kids.", "c": ["Dennis Feinstein", "Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Don't talk to Eddie. Treat him like you would treat a person in another country that you paid $25,000 to hunt.", "c": ["Dennis Feinstein"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "There is no strategy to chutes and ladders. It's just luck. My daughter's five. Well, your daughter is an idiot.", "c": ["Leslie", "Parent"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Speaking of which, the fact that yahtzee is not in the rec center is a tragedy on par with human trafficking. Slight exaggeration...", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "God, Diane, will you stop it with the letter-writing campaign? No.", "c": ["Leslie", "Diane"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "But there are only 12 of us. 13. Look! Our numbers are growing!", "c": ["Citizen", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "I can handcraft 17-foot canoes out of western red cedar, but I can't glue two damn Graham crackers together!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "My pleasure. See you in hell!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "You're polling at 1%. What? No. That can't be right.", "c": ["Advisor", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "You know, the last delicious sip of a milkshake at the bottom of the metal milkshakey thing?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "I'm gay. Well, never mind then.", "c": ["Advisor", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "B-b-b-b-Ben-jammin'!", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "When she rips it off, she smiles, and it makes you feel things. Throw my name, I get a referral discount.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Are you nuts? This is probably the first time you've had off since you've been kid president. True or false? True.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio", "Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "If you don't love what you do... Then why do it? Then she ripped the hair from my b-hole.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Your suspension's been lifted. Please, come back to work. Thank you.", "c": ["Chris", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I'm pregnant. Wait, what? No, that's not it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Turns out, I cannot make a gingerbread house, which would bother me if I were an 8-year-old girl.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "This year, though? My friends won. In fact, I got my ass handed to me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "So I have no idea what you're talking about. Don't know what Quickbooks are.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "You want to talk about spreading and sheets, we can go back to my place and I will rock your-- You're fired!", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio", "Boss"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Citizen Knope"}, {"t": "Ann, you beautiful tropical fish.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "You've resuscitated a human heart in your bare hands. No, I haven't. You haven't? No. You will. You're that good of a nurse.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Again? You just hired me eight seconds ago. Wow, you're doing a really bad job.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and I broke everything.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Are most murders committed by highly-trained, professional assassins? No. They're committed by friends and co-workers.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "That analogy was way better in my head.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "His name is Champion, because he's the Dog World Champion.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "He can do more with three legs than most dogs can do with four. Except for digging. He's really bad at digging.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "So you just say the word and Champion goes back to the pound where he can be put down and killed forever.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Cruel, but fair.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Well, well, well. Look who's ahead of the curve. I was joking. You should soak that in bleach and burn it.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Shut up, Ann. I told you never to talk to me. That was Champion. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Bad dog.", "c": ["April", "Champion"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "No. I find calzone fatty and unnecessary.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Ben is massively depressed. And he needs my help.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "See? There's more things to look at on the Internet besides naked guys, Ann.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Do your carpets match your drapes?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "innuendo"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "No, that's Champion's spot. He called it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Yeah. Champion is a way better kisser than you are, babe. He's even a better kisser than me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Oh, look. The police even love it. They're sirening back to us.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "The jitterbug, stagecoaches, Herman Munster.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Well, we have a philosophical difference on what constitutes a law.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "My mother's butt.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "He must dunk, Ann. Do whatever it takes. Yeah, anything short of sexual favors.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Although, I am a little offended that you wouldn't do that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "What about pizza? Pizza? Never heard of it.", "c": ["Chris", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Pizza is your grandfather's calzone.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "The Low-Cal Calzone Zone.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "That idea is literally the greatest idea I have ever heard in my life.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "That idea is terrible.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "And that girl, she tried to get that gimp dog to bite me.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "You know that I'm going to pay all the fines. I'm in the middle of a campaign rally. And this is my team. I need them. Please.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Sometimes, life dunks you.", "c": ["Pistol Pete"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "With my claymaish? With your life. You are wildly, insanely depressed.", "c": ["Ben", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Do you think a depressed person could make this?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "He shall do it in the car.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "In fact, I... I e-mailed Leslie two days ago and I compared it to Avatar, Chris.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "It's not a basketball court anymore. It's an ice skating rink.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "And, either way, it was his fault, because he was stupid and I hated him.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "We had to Jetsons most of the poster, too.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Because windows are the eyes to the house.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Anyway, the important news is that he's here. Good. Is he going to dunk for me? I'm not sure. I couldn't hear through all the crying.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Oh, damn it, Jerry. You just had to do your job, didn't you?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "I couldn't afford enough premium carpet to get us to the stage. I mean, it was a short walk, but it was pretty luxurious, right?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Babe! Are you okay? He is peeing. He is now peeing. Now, I'm putting him down.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Ron? Ron? There's no stairs. How do I get onto the stage?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Ugh! It tastes like a belt.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "The Letters to Cleo T-shirt, the unshaven face, the Doc Martens... And your hair does not have that normal uptight, rigid, inflexible Ben Wyatt sense of fun.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Together, we can defeat obese children.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Well, I can assure you people in the bleachers that if you follow my campaign, it will be interesting.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Pistol Pete, everybody. Still got it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "This team has a lot of heart and zero know-how.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "Oh! Don't make out. It's making Champion sad.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "You're not married. She's not married.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "This is uncomfortable.", "c": ["Pistol Pete"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Comeback Kid"}, {"t": "I don't know why they call it a 'cam-pain.' Because up until now it's been a 'cam-pleasure.'", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "I am a lifelong government bureaucrat who's well-versed in the issues. And those are the kind of sexy qualifications that win elections.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "So do you want me to sign that to miss lope or just Nesney?", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Oh, no, you guys are wrong. I'm running unopposed. I'm pretty sure I'm running unopposed, right?", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Hey, Ann, are you still a nurse or did they fire you because you slept with all the doctors?", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Just got a headache. And I'm seeing double. And I got a song stuck in my head, and my teeth hurt. Also I'm hungry.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Okay, well, some of those things are symptoms and some of them are just being a person.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, technically I did smash my head area into the wall area.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Yeah, he was hanging up his gold record.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Point is, I have a gold record.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Neither of your asses are that smart because insurance is for if something bad happens to your car. P.S. I haven't had it in years.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "This is exactly how I dreamed it would be when I was a kid. Except I wasn't 70 points behind and my campaign manager was Mr. belvedere.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "I've personally put out several local fires at no cost to the taxpayer.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Are you the kind of doctor who gets hooked on his own drugs? I bet you are.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "I was reading an encyclopedia, and I tripped or 'fell over' and hit my head or brain helmet.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Yeah, he sneezed and smacked his head against the wall.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Nope, I've got a weird rash in my knee pit area. And my tongue, on this side, doesn't taste anything anymore.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Sometimes when I walk my ankles make, like, a weird rattlesnake sound.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "I once ate a Twix with the wrapper on it, and I've never seen the wrapper come out.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Also I've swallowed every piece of gum that I've chewed for the past 25 years.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "I broke my thumb on the way over here. Just fix me.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm Bobby Newport. I'm a regular guy. I like dogs. I'm here with my persian greyhound raclette, who was given to me by my buddy, the pretender to the crown of alsace-Lorraine.", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Nah-uh, I always go negative. Even if I like the guy I go negative. Keeps 'em interested.", "c": ["Donna Meagle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, this magic marker smells like cherries.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Dam's dead. Have a nice day.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "The important thing is the dam is never happening and your dream has been crushed.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Well, you wanted to go negative. You got the biggest negative in the world, buddy.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Barack Obama said, 'yes we can,' and now he's president. Ben says, 'no we shouldn't,' and now he's working for his girlfriend.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "E, h, 4, m. Potato shape. Coffee mug shape. Smudge, smudge, middle finger, smudge. The rest are all smudges.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "No, he's not getting glasses. I like his face the way it is. If you get glasses, I'll divorce you.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Too handsome for glasses, no offense.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "I gotta admit, his hair game's on point. Gotta find out what kind of product he puts up in his 'herr.'", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Bobby Newport's never had a real job in his life. - Bobby Newport's never had a real job in his life. Bobby Newport. - Bobby. - Bobby. Bobby. Newport.", "c": ["Jerry Gergich"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "All right, now we're just wasting time, Jerry.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "A cucumber.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "I don't know what happened. I declined his invitation. He started laughing. And the next thing I knew, we were at lunch. Did he drug me?", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "As you can see, I'm in favor of a lot of things, like hot dogs. Right, Charlie?", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Leslie is so good at so many things and so bad at that.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "I got my ankles microwaved. - X-rayed. They took my blood away to use for science. - Cholesterol tests.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer", "April Ludgate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Some guy looked at my wiener, touched it. That was weird. And that guy wasn't even a doctor.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "I am Leslie Knope, and I do not approve this message.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Alright, the good news is, there's only two pieces of bad news.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "You were pretty easy to take down.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Let's get you home and get me some ice cream.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Oh, I think you're wrong. We have the insurance thing. I believe we're covered.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Let's go! Dine and dash. Out of the way! Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Ah! Ah, call an ambulance! A different ambulance than the one I ran into.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "People keep asking me: Bobby, what are you gonna do once you get into office? Um, I'm pretty sure I'll figure it out.", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "This is a great friend of mine. He is a fellow who works in the building and he is named Dennis. Kyle.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "I was eating rice, and Ron made me come up here.", "c": ["Kyle"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "Come on, give me it. Give me it. Give me it. Just give me the election.", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "You know what, I need something to do to get my dad off my back. This seemed easy.", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "How 'bout you quit running, then I win, but then I let you do all the work.", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "That girl is me as a ten-year-old. How'd you do that?", "c": ["Leslie Knope", "Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "You could sew up my lip underneath a bridge somewhere. Mmm, so romantic.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer", "April Ludgate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Campaign Ad"}, {"t": "ALL THE THINGS MAKE ME FEEL A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT MYSELF.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "SHE'S KINDA SHORT, DON'T YOU THINK? AGGRESSIVELY SHORT ALMOST. IT'S LIKE SHE'S THROWING IT IN MY FACE.", "c": ["Focus Group Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "INSIGHTFUL.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "SHE DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON YOU COULD GO BOWLING WITH", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WHAT? THAT'S RIDICULOUS. I AM EXCELLENT AT BOWLING. ASK RON.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I'M JUST REMINDING MYSELF TO TELL RON TO TELL YOU HOW GOOD I AM AT BOWLING.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I ONCE KNEW A LESLIE, AND, UH, SHE WAS JUST AWFUL. SO NOW I HATE ALL LESLIES. WOULD SHE CONSIDER CHANGING HER NAME?", "c": ["Focus Group Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES A FUN TUG-OF-WAR WITH A DOG OVER A CHEW TOY TURNED CONTENTIOUS. ONE OF US ALWAYS ENDS UP MAD.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I DID SOME RESEARCH TOO ABOUT THE GUY WHO SAID THE THING ABOUT ME AND BOWLING, AND HIS NAME IS DEREK.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "AND GET THIS--HE'S NOT EVEN THAT GOOD OF A BOWLER. HIS AVERAGE IS 132, ACCORDING TO THE MOST RECENT AVAILABLE DATA.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "OH, MY GOD.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WOULD THEY DEIGN TO SAY SUCH THINGS TO WOODROW WILSON OR BENJAMIN DISRAELI-- OKAY, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "NO, I DON'T THINK I BELIEVE YOU. IS THERE ANYONE I CAN ASK?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "YEAH. ASK RON.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "OH, I DON'T KNOW, JERRY. IT'S SUNDAY NIGHT, I'M MAKING PHONE CALLS TO STRANGERS, AND YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE. MY LIFE COULDN'T BE WORSE.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "LET'S GET THIS PHONE PARTY STARTED.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "NO.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "NO ONE'S THINKING THAT.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I KINDA WAS.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "OH, MY GOD. I COULD USE THAT FOR A ROMANTIC NIGHT WITH MILLICENT GERGICH. OUT OF MY WAY, SUCKERS.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "AS CITY MANAGER, I PLAY NO FAVORITES. BUT AS A PRIVATE CITIZEN, I AM FREE TO SUPPORT WHOMEVER I CHOOSE, AND I CHOOSE TO SUPPORT TEAM KNOPE 'CAUSE THEY'RE THE BEST. EVERYBODY'S THE BEST. WE'RE ALL WINNERS.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO LOOK LAID-BACK.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "THIS BOWLING ALLEY HAS MY FAVORITE RESTAURANT IN PAWNEE.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WHEN I EAT, IT IS THE FOOD THAT IS SCARED.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "THAT IS LITERALLY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NAME I HAVE EVER HEARD.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY YOU WOULD NEED MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, BUT--WELL, YEAH, NO. YOU'RE RIGHT. I GUESS IT COULDN'T HURT TO GIVE IT TO YOU. IT'S 210--", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "[creepy voice] I'M CALLING FROM INSIDE YOUR HOUSE.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. I CANNOT BE STOPPED. * COME ON NOW GET SOME MONEY * * COME ON, APRIL GET AN EARPIECE * * COME ON DO IT *", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT PRIZE, BUT I'M GONNA WIN BECAUSE I WANT HIS HAPPINESS TO GO AWAY.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "TYPE IN 'T REX' FOR ME. NO, NO, NO. UM, 'T-BOZ.' WAIT, WAIT. 'TOMMY TSUNAMI.' NO, 'TICKY TICKY TOM-TOM.' NO, 'FLY GUY.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I WROTE 'TOM.'", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "CLASSIC. TIMELESS. I LOVE IT.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "OH, I WOULDN'T KNOW. I'M NEVER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLASS WITH THOSE THINGS.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "STRAIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE. NO HOOK, NO SPIN, NO FUSS. ANYTHING MORE AND THIS BECOMES FIGURE SKATING.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "COME ON, BIG GIRL. LET'S KNOCK THESE LITTLE PINS DOWN.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "SON, PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I'M THINKING ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE. I'M TRYING TO MAKE THE PICTURE BIGGER BY INCLUDING THIS GUY IN IT.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I'LL JUST SAY HI TO HIM, SHAKE HIS HAND, BUY A HIM A FEW BEERS, SHARE A FEW LAUGHS, BOWL A FEW FRAMES, LOSE INTENTIONALLY TO MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD, FRIEND HIM ON FACEBOOK. AND BY THE END OF THE NIGHT, HE WILL BE MINE.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WHOA, 'THAR' SHE BOWLS.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "OH, NO. NO, I'M JUST-- I'M JUST BEING CAS.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "REALLY? WHO KNEW? I KNEW.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "THAT'S HOW I MOTIVATE MYSELF, YOU KNOW? NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "THESE BEERS ARE AS COLD AS THE TUKTOYAKTUK WINTER ROAD.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "YOU WATCH ICE ROAD TRUCKERS? YEAH, DUDE. IT'S MY GUILTY PLEASURE.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "TOM, I'M ASKING YOU AS A MAN TO STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WHAT THE [bleep]?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "NO, MIRA, MIRA, MIRA, MIRA, MIRA. IT'S, LIKE, WHATEVER YOU WANT. LIKE, $10. IT DON'T MATTER.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "[southern accent] WELL, I RECKON IT'S JUST LIKE GRAMMY MARTHA TOLD ME AND MY COUSINS, 'YOU CAN'T EAT THE BISCUITS IF YOU DON'T PAY FOR THE FLOUR.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "PUT THE PHONE DOWN, TAKE A DEEP BREATH, AND THEN YOU ARE GOING TO TELL STEVEN THAT YOU WILL BE TREATED WITH RESPECT, OKAY?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "ALL I KNOW IS THAT I JUST WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD THAT'S A BETTER PLACE, AND YOUR CONTRIBUTION WILL DEFINITELY HELP US GET THERE, TO THE... [sighs] BETTER-PLACE WORLD, FRED.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "MAN, MOVE OVER, PINS. THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN. YOU ARE SO DOWN WITH STRIKES, THEY SHOULD CALL YOU NORMA RAE.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WHO'S THAT? IT'S A... SALLY FIELD MOVIE ABOUT UNIONS. DOESN'T MATTER.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "TRY NOT TO BREAK A NAIL.", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "AH, CLASSIC DEREK WITH THE ZINGS. MAN, THAT'S WHAT BOWLING IS ALL ABOUT--HEY.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I REALIZE THAT, BUT I WILL KNOCK DOWN THIS PIN, AND THEN THIS PIN WILL KNOCK DOWN ALL THE OTHER PINS.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I-- I DON'T WORK HERE.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "CLASSIC DEREK.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I AM GOING TO ASK MILLICENT GERGICH TO MOVE IN WITH ME. D-I--I MEAN, IF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU OF COURSE, JERRY.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I'VE DONE SOME READING, AND AN OCTAGON IS THE OPTIMAL SHAPE FOR A HOME IN TERMS OF ENERGY FLOW.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "JERRY, I LOVE IT WHEN YOU PULL RANK.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "MILLI'S GONNA BREAK UP WITH CHRIS.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I AM VERY ANGRY RIGHT NOW.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "MY FINGER WAS IN THERE. RON CRUSHED MY FINGER. I THINK IT MIGHT BE BROKEN.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "ARE YOU A FEMALE BIRD?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE. YOU'RE JEALOUS OF MY GIFT.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "COME ON, TWEETY BIRD, LET'S GET YOU SOME ICE.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "FOR REALS, CAN I COUNT ON YOUR VOTE?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I DON'T LIKE YOU, OKAY?", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I AM A REALLY GOOD BOWLER. ASK RON.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I DON'T KNOW WHO RON IS.", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY GOOD FRIEND, ANYONE ELSE.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE DEREK'S ASS TO MY FOOT.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "$20? THANK YOU. UH, YOU KNOW, WE'RE REALLY LOOKING FOR DONATIONS MORE IN THE $10,000 RANGE.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WHAT, CHAMPION? YOU NEED TO GO OUTSIDE NOW? COME ON. THAT A BOY. SORRY, HE'S-- HATES AWKWARD SITUATIONS.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "TERRIBLE MOONWALK.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "DON'T CARE.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "YEAH, WHAT'S UP NOW, HUH?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "AW, YOU GOT A SPARE. THAT'S SO CUTE.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I WISHED FOR HIS HAPPINESS TO GO AWAY. I MIGHT BE A WIZARD.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "YEAH, I'LL JUST WRITE IN 'BITCH.'", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "THAT WAS AWESOME.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I HAVE A LOT OF ADRENALINE RIGHT NOW.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "DID YOU WRITE DOWN HOW AWESOME IT WAS?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WOW, YOU AND ME, HUH? HURT 'FINGIES.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "NO, NO, TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT INJURIES.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "APRIL WINS TWO TICKETS TO THE PAWNEE MONO-PLEX.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "[laughs] YES. THAT'S MY WIFE.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WHOO! KING KONG AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME. OW, MY 'FINGIE' STILL HURTS.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "OH, THE BRAVERY. THE PERSEVERANCE. YOU'RE AN AMERICAN HERO.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WELL, THE HEADLINE I WOULD'VE GONE WITH IS 'NO-STRIKE-BOWLING BOWLER STRUCK BY KNOPE'S STRIKING BEAU.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "NOT TODAY. I DON'T DESERVE IT.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I DO NEED MORE WHIPPED CREAM. MA'AM.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "WELL, AS YOU MAY KNOW, MILLICENT GERGICH ENDED OUR RELATIONSHIP LAST NIGHT, WHICH WAS DISAPPOINTING. BUT HERE'S WHY IT MAY BE THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "YEAH, GOOD POINT.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "THEY'RE MOVIE TICKETS, CHRIS. THEY'RE, LIKE, 8 BUCKS. IT'S A GESTURE.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I BOUGHT ANOTHER ONE BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE YOU, ME, AND ANDY COULD GO TO THE MOVIES SOMETIME. JUST TAKE THE STUPID TICKETS. I'M JUST TRYING TO BE NICE.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "AND HE CALLED ME BY MY SECOND LEAST FAVORITE TERM FOR A WOMAN", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "AND MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER AND I MADE OUT A LOT AFTERWARD. AH, I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE BEING KIND OF A BITCH RIGHT NOW.", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "IF YOU DO NOT VOTE FOR ME, MY BOYFRIEND MIGHT BEAT YOU UP.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "YEAH, THAT GUY SAID HE DIDN'T LIKE MY EARRINGS. GO PUNCH HIM.", "c": ["Focus Group Member"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "SURE.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "SON OF A BITCH.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "I WAS NEVER HERE, AND YOU WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Bowling For Votes"}, {"t": "Josef Stalin Dies? That's right, Mom. And you replaced him. Not in terms of genocide. Just in terms of, you know, being on Earth.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Dear Congress. It's Leslie again.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "I have several men in rotation. One's waiting for me out in the car. Don't worry. I rolled down the window.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Well, last week, he was supposed to buy gas, but instead, he bought novelty cookie cutters. Now, everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur. He's amazing.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "It's really hard to say 'congrats' without sounding sarcastic.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Seriously, I really hope you guys are all very happy. Damn it.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Oh, Ann. You beautiful spinster. I will find you love.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Great attitude, Ron. Sorry. I was talking to these ribs.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Ann's not totally hideous. Why does she need our help?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Just tell us the damn word. Effervescent.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Quick question about Ann. Does anyone know if she has any Indian in her? No one respond. No one say anything. Why? I'm just curious if Ann has a little Indian in her. Silence. I don't think she does. Would she like some?", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Yachter Otter? Yep. Two months ago, I have a dream about a playboy otter lost at sea, and you make him real? I love it.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Oh. A bomb? It is a cryptex, like in that movie The Da Vinci Code, which was the first movie that you and I ever watched on Starz HD.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Millicent Gergich has literally torn my heart from my body, and replaced it with a thick slab of sadness.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Tom, this is a publicly funded couples dance. I don't think it's appropriate for people to be 'getting wet with sound.'", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Have you tried... That's a four-letter word. Add an 'S'?", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Did you try... Yes. Why is that everyone's first suggestion?", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Jerry, well done. I put an ad on Craigslist. 'Man seeking man for a night of casual fun.' Enrico, he responded right away.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "You hired a male escort. A what? Please get your gigolo out of here.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "April hates Valentine's Day. And brunch and outside and smiling. She's weird.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me? No. You brought Orin? Ann is not some weird morose mummy. Offense intended, Orin.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "What about a wedding where you used to go out with the groom and you're the only one there without a date, so the bride makes you dance to Single Ladies by yourself?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "My dentist is 80, and he's gay and he's taken.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "What's this? 'P Hut.' Pizza Hut. Hold on. Hi. How cute are you?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "But something wicked with a book is my ex-wife from the library. Which means I'm the one that succumbs.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "'Follow me to the sheltered snow. Only 22 clues left to go.' 22? Well, this is the woman I've chosen to love.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Nobody here compares to Millicent. Except maybe Jerry. Technically, they share 50% of the same DNA.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "You really suck at this. Okay. Why don't you just tell me where it is, and I can get out of here? That would take all the fun out of it.", "c": ["Kevin", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Not as beautiful as my sister, but you know the law.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "I'm Harris. I heard you were desperate for a man piece. We in business?", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Try 308. I'm going to have to pass right now. Your mistake, mama.", "c": ["Harris", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Where to begin? I'm an amateur juggler. Nope, you shouldn't have begun there. Get out. No one's trying to get with jugglers.", "c": ["Bill", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Well, they always say break glass in case of an emergency.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "What if she was my personal best? No. Your best is still ahead of you. I am 44 years old. You don't look a day over 30. Most people say 25. Who says that? A lot of people.", "c": ["Chris", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "And you tossed her out like day-old chowder.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "You're going to throw them on the roof again so I can't leave. You know me too well.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Ann, you tricky bastard.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Weird stick. Might be a clue? No.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Ann would never do anything to piss you off, Leslie. You guys are such close friends. It's lame.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Ron, you're a genius. Li'l Sebastian. Yep. At first, you did not understand what made this tiny horse so special. And now, you love him more than I do.", "c": ["Ben", "Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "I really tried to make that hard. Yeah. I'm very impressed with you.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Screw romantic dinners. Let's go rub it in their face. God, I love you so much.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "April. Hey. April. Tom and Ann are on a date. I know. What do you mean you know? How do you know? Because I set them up.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "This is a small loser town with loser people, and Tom's, like, at least semi-cool.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "You're a very nice person. No. Yes, you are. A very nice person. Bye.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I love passionate speakers and Italian men. Doesn't mean I love Mussolini.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Scottish? White. Whatever you are.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Then, we go back to my place and snuggle up like little bunnies. Yeah, this was a mistake.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "I absolutely do not want to solve a series of riddles and clues, each more intricate than the last. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. I got it, Ron. Good. I do want that. Please do that for me.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Operation Ann"}, {"t": "Oh, God! Hey, Boo Boo Bear. What did you just call me? Boo Boo Bear. It's one of several nicknames I made up for you.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "We have Cookie Tush... Wow. Just right out the gate. Winnie the Boo, Lady Presh Presh, Annberry Sauce, Annie Get Your Boo, Tommy's Girl, Annie Banannie...", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Is this not one of those? I might have misread the vibe.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "I feel like you're embarrassed by me. That is accurate.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Am I in a relationship? It's complicated.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Been a long time, eh, Cap'n? Or Captain. 'Oh, Captain, my Captain.' From Dead Poets Society.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "I'm not afraid of cops. I have no reason to be. I never break any laws, ever. Because I'm deathly afraid of cops.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Well, mo' money, mo' problems. That's what I always say. How about mo money, more protective Kevlar vests that save lives? (STAMMERING) Sometimes, I say that, too.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "May I say that the boys in blue... Don't. Stop. ...are heroes. Obviously, some more than others. Oh, boy. Here it comes. 9l11. And we're walking.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's called music. And there's only one way to get a vaccine. And that is to play it. To play the... You get an injection.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "It's kind of like We Are the World, except I actually think it could have a real impact on society.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "She originally put me in charge of hot dogs at this fundraising barbecue, and I dropped them all. All of them. Like, 1,000.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "DoubleTime, you said? Little brick building over on Liondale Road? Yeah. You know the one? No.", "c": ["Ron", "Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Yes, Leslie Knope is a female person with whom I was involved. We had, romantic... Romantical involvement until I relocated to San Diego. Which is... That's in California, which is southwest of here by a number of miles.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Cool. I'm going to go to the gas station and get a frozen burrito and eat it right there at that table.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Ooh, that sounds like an Ashley Judd movie.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "So if you happen to see any memorabilia laying around, kindly and discreetly discard it. You got it, Duke. Don't call me that.", "c": ["Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "So, we have to play it perfectly every time? No, Burly. Play it unperfectly. You mean, imperfectly? I mean perfectly.", "c": ["Jerry", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. But you are too hot to hide, Ann. This is on you.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "When you two spoon, who spoons who?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean the whiz palace. Yes, Leslie calls it that sometimes. I know. It's kind of cute, right? Yeah, that's real cute.", "c": ["Ben", "Dave"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "I'm still in love with you. What did you just say? Nothing. I did... Nothing. Nothing was said.", "c": ["Dave", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Whizzingham Manor. That's another funny name for the bathroom that I thought of.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Was that a joke? Were you joking just now? Because if so, that was hilarious-ly awful-ly funny how bad that was.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "I just had no idea. And so, now, I have to... ...adjust.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "I think I'm going to take a little go outside.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Mine's really just a cup of honey because tea is gross.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "(WHOOPS) To the man!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "I don't want to brag, but I have a ton of experience with women being mad at me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "I'd like popcorn and candy and the home team at the game. Boom.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Well, I'd like to talk to Ben. And then, I'd like the three of us to talk together. Well, then, I'll talk to Ben, and then you, and then I'll talk to you. And then you'll talk to each other, and then we'll all three talk, then.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Ann, I caught feelings for you. And I want you to be my girl. And I don't care who knows.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "That information is... It's not pertinent, frankly, at this juncture. I just said to you one thing. And you're contriring me. I don't think that's a word.", "c": ["Dave", "Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "What are you doing? I'm doing that. Are you serious? You brought it on yourself.", "c": ["Ben", "Dave"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "He said, 'I've got somewhere important to go, and I don't respect her as a woman.' He said that. And then he acted more effeminate than he does in front of you.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Haverford Playbook move number two. Ladies love a guy waiting for them in the rain.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Ann? Boo Boo?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "What happened to you? I was waiting outside in the rain for you. Because I thought you would come out and be like, 'Oh, he's all wet. That's so romantic.' But you didn't. What on earth would make you think I would like that? Movies.", "c": ["Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "He's shrimpy. And he's small. Shrimpy or not, he's smart and he's cute and he's kind and he's funny. He's got a great face and nice hair, and he's... Okay, that's... I get it. I surrender.", "c": ["Dave", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "A few weeks ago, a guy called me a bitch in a bowling alley, and he punched him in the face.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Where is that saxophone coming from? I don't know. I don't know the first thing about music.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Pretty sweet sauce in there, eh, Ace? What's wrong with you? I don't know.", "c": ["Dave", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "(SINGING) Baby, I'm sorry for how I acted But if you give me another chance I could be the boo of your dreams, girl So when you're sleeping and you're dreaming of a boo I want that boo to be me", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "The four sweetest words in the English language. 'You wore me down.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "You're not waiting. No. It feels like you're being overly respectful of all these cops, and you're letting them go in all in front of you. No, no, no. I'm just standing here.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Dave Returns"}, {"t": "Oh, Ann, you beautiful, rule-breaking moth.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Boss, I need your Herbie Hancock on this. Outside.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "But it's great exercise... But it's a pain in the ass.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Parks is inside. Campaign is outside. Parks is inside. Campaign's outside.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Ooh, you know what would make it more fun? - What? - Oh, my God, this.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Well, I have time to spare. I'm also volunteering at 'Wheels For Meals On Wheels.' We repair vans for 'Meals On Wheels.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Or I own four identical versions of the same sweater. No, you don't, there's an old lollipop that's been stuck to the back since Tuesday.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "That's the style now, Ron. It's called 'lollipopping.' All the kids are doing it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "I accept your apology, I will not take a sabbatical, as we agreed, and we will never discuss this again.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Hold up, hold up, hold up. Hold up, hold up, wait. That's you.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "So I'm 'Tommy's girl,' and you're just 'Tom'? Why not 'Ann's man'? Nobody owns me, cupcake, not even you.", "c": ["Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "We put the hats on-- Don't say it. We take everything else off.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "These Kangol hats are exactly like the one Samuel L. Jackson wore to the Latin Grammys. How could she not like them?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "I really don't care what happens to them... Or anyone.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "As the Germans would say, 'er ist ein wunder hund.' He is a wonder dog.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "The dog training course I took was conducted entirely in German, and so now I'm fluent in German... Words relating to dogs.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "He's a mutt. Half amazing, half terrific.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Ich bin ein three-legged dog.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Who wouldn't? That sounds like an amazing day, right?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "My birthday is February 29th, so I only get one real birthday, you know, once every four years.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "We go, we split a huge piece of cotton candy cheesecake from Cakey J's Cheesecake Facility.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "And then, well, we hold hands for a while. We listen to some Anita Baker. She meets up with some friends, and I turn in early.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "64 divided by 4 is-- 16. 64. So we're gonna throw him a Sweet 16 surprise party.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Let's start a pool. Who wants retired? Who wants dead? Dead. No. I got one dead. No.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "We're not big on hospitality. The Meagles are a cold people.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "And if you listen closely, that is the bubbling of the hot tub. You do not have access to it.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Ginuwine's my cousin. Ginuwine? The Ginuwine is your cousin?", "c": ["Donna", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Ginuwine is Ginuwine. He's Ginuwine.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Not loving '90s R&B music is number three on the 'oh-no-nos' list.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Toxic. Merkel. - Merkel. - What is 'Merkel'? She's the Chancellor of Germany.", "c": ["Chris", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Crow for dinner tonight, Mr. Swanson?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Guys, someone was supposed to invite Jerry. It's his surp-- Crap, it was me. I forgot to invite Jerry.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "By the end of the night, you are going to take a bite of Jerry's cake, which incidentally, we need to pick up on the way home, and you are gonna say, 'sabbatical, schmabbatical. Leslie can do it all. She's the best, and I'm stupid.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Ann, I'm at 600. Are you really not stopping me? I have those cotton t-shirt sheets. Huh?", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "She's never seen a single Paul Walker movie? That's a huge 'oh-no-no.' She also 'doesn't care' about Blu-ray? She's a monster.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "I own more pairs of Uggs than she does.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "I was getting kind of sick of listening to Tom and Ann talk about their relationship, but then I remembered that alcohol existed. Thank you, alcohol.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Well, because I thought you were Gayle. What are you doing in my bathroom?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Oh, did we lose more seniors in the woods? No, it's a sinkhole, right?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Sometimes you just have to let a dog be a dog. He'll be all right. Champion! He'll come back.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "You don't need to read the whole thing. 9u/09230023-- 099twposter-- it does say that. .jpeg. Jpeg. Yes, Walter, it does say that.", "c": ["Leslie", "Walter"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "You put 20\" rims on your Volkswagen Golf, and you insist on being introduced as 'the brown Gosling.'", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Everything you just said makes me like me more.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "We didn't get to the drug store for my liver medication. Well, you should've thought about that before we dragged you out of the bath, Jerry.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Oh, what the [Bleep]? Surprise. Where the hell is everybody?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Champion, you're lost and soon you'll be found / I rescued you from the pound, something something oh man on the ground / get on out of here", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Dog whistle.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "It's also about Ann and I getting back together and being the hottest couple in Pawnee. I'd also like to announce our official relationship mash-up name. It's 'Tan.' To Tan.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "I would like to announce that the name Tan is officially over. To the end of Tan.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "I would like to address the fact that rule number seven says, 'no pets,' and yet there is a three-legged animal in my living room.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Jerry's work is often adequate.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "I have a stepbrother who lives in London and 2.8% body fat.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "You probably should just sit there and not move. She's really tired. Just a few hours. Few hours?", "c": ["Andy", "Chris", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "I used to work in a sheet metal factory, but then a job came along at the tannery. The hours were better, and I would get paid. Also I'd have the chance to work with leather both before and after it was on the cow, which had always been a dream of mine.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "How old were you? 11.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Yes, but I hate them. I know you do, sweetheart.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "Amazingly, yes. Muncie, Indiana.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Sweet Sixteen"}, {"t": "When I say your names, I want you to respond. Dylan. Well, Newport's poll numbers have been plummeting.", "c": ["Dylan", "News Host"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "[Laughs] That's a hilarious image. A foot in a mouth. It's a common expression. Okay.", "c": ["Dylan"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "He's like a brilliant, sexy, little hummingbird.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "What did you just say? Nothing. Keep up the good work. You're doing great. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "The 'grond' father, he's like-- It doesn't matter. He's important, and he's old.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Please don't get up. Don't worry. I can't. Just joking. I can get up. But it's difficult. But I can do it, but it is hard.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Look, I don't have a lot of time. Oh, God. I'm so sorry. Is it... cancer? No, I don't have a lot of time before my swim aerobics.", "c": ["Ned", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Not enough ramps is the number three complaint among Pawnee seniors... Right behind 'everything hurts' and 'I'm dying.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Great exercise, and it literally lets me see the world from a different perspective.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "The world's my gymnasium, Ron. But I will stop if it makes you uncomfortable. Could you hold me while I dismount?", "c": ["Chris", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "I work hard to make sure my department is as small and ineffective as possible.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Reminds me of when my dad made me choose which of my pet calves to slaughter with my own hands for my sixth birthday. I couldn't choose, so I slaughtered both of them. And they were delicious.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.83, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Like I always say, stairs are a young man's game.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "You have the same name, Leslie. He lost a third of his body in a motorcycle accident. The middle third. But they sutured the hell out of him. He's fine now. Much shorter, but a good-looking, young, flat man.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "I told her sorry. I don't talk politics after dinner.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "She's eating egg salad with Colin Powell. That's the most impressive thing I've ever seen.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "As a candidate, I appreciate your strategic mind, but as woman, all I care about is your slight but powerful body.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "This is the first time you've said my entire name correctly.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Kiss one water-fountain drinker, you're kissing everyone in Pawnee. Including him.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Hello, Marta. We would like our regular table, but we want you to set it up a little fancier than normal because we're trying to impress someone. You mean Ms. Barkley. She's already here. Last booth.", "c": ["Leslie", "Marta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Bobby Newport's daddy called me out of the blue. I'd never heard of Bobby Newport before, but it became clear in two seconds this guy is a moron. So I was, like, 'sorry, Nick. Your son is a moron. There's no way.' Then he offered me a crazy amount of money.", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Do you know Joe Biden? Oh, mm-hmm. He's on my celebrity sex list. Well, he is my celebrity sex list. Oh, trust me. You can do better than Joe. [Laughing] Oh, no. I don't-- I don't think I can.", "c": ["Jennifer", "Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "I'm Leslie Knope and when I grow up, I want to be a unicorn princess or a city councilor. Wrong. Not in my town, kid. City council's a real job for a real adult.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jennifer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "And I should listen to you always because you are a man genius with a taut, narrow frame like a sexy, elf king.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Do you wish I were taller or-- what's going on?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Andy is our official water-fountain tester.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Full disclosure. Ann and I are romantically intertwined. Oh, God. So let's not be surprised if she picks my idea.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "This... is the Voss Water Butler by Tumi. And only $600 a bag.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Do I look like I drink water?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Yoo-hoo. I'm over here. Just about to start my presentation. I-- uh-oh, stairs. What do I do? How do I get from here to there? I'm not a professional mountain climber.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Ramps are an idiot's game. This is nothing more than a worse version of Bobby Newport's plan.", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Why don't we just turn up the pressure? That way you don't have to put your mouth so close. All right, here we go. Ah, stop! Honey, I'm sorry. That'll teach you to pay attention.", "c": ["Jerry", "Ann", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Oh, my-- dude, what the hell?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 3.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Help, everything I'm wearing is suede! Everything I'm wearing is suede, everything I'm wearing is suede!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Kamikaze! Oh. [Laughs]", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "He's making out with some floozy in Majorca. Sorry, I wish I was better at this. Then you could be making out with some floozy in Majorca.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "We may be in for a good, old-fashioned shake-up.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "You two-faced, carpetbagging-- Hi, Leslie. Good to see you. Hi, nice to see you, too. You are a two-faced, carpet-- You want anything? Anything? It's on me.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jennifer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Let me get my insults out. I've been practicing it the whole way over here.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Water balloon fight. Fair enough.", "c": ["Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "I think Ben's already filling the Leslie void. Oh! Oh! I'll give it up for that.", "c": ["Tom", "Various"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "It's 'Perd,' first of all, and no. Maybe. No. That's not a terrible idea.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "JJ's doesn't have a cappuccino maker. Oh, it does now. I bought them one. Course you did.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jennifer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Or maybe she thinks that we think that she thinks that, so we won't do it. But she knows that I know that she knows that-- She's in our heads.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Because she's April, and she doesn't want you to think that she actually cares about something.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Oh, you're still here? Yes.", "c": ["April", "Chris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "I don't know where she went the first time.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "And that woman that he is with is an antiland-mine advocate. I didn't realize that you were proland-mine.", "c": ["Jennifer", "Perd"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "I am not here to declare a winner, but Jennifer is the winner.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "I am going to get drunk, and then I'm going to order a three-course meal where each course is made of dessert.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Oh, that thing I said on the show? Oh, no. That was mostly made-up. Don't challenge me on that. That will backfire.", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "I don't want to do things. I want to not do things, just like you taught me.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Okay... But only because you begged.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Campaign Shake Up"}, {"t": "Leslie's fashion show while Ben tries to prep her for interview", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "But I bet these pants will work for the public", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "And I bet they look even better on Ben's floor", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Are you hitting on Leslie... for me?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "It says 'Nympho' on the butt in silver, sparkly letters", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Ann's clinical explanation of 'nympho' and butt implications", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "They're all girls. Women's studies.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Usually tests scare me, but this is an oral exam. And if there's one thing I know is--", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "My fantastic-- it's talk. God, I don't know.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "If you can't remember what some woman did, just tear up and say 'she changed my life'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Maybe we should see if he can pull that rod out of his butt and we can hang some of those outfits on it", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "We've gone 30 hours without breaking up. Our personal best is 47 hours.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "It happened when she was out of town for two days and she forgot we were dating", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Come on, did anyone even get hurt?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Do you know who the president of boring club is? Me? Nope... You lost the election 'cause your speech was too boring.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Andy's long pause before repeating the exact same fact", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Just one man's opinion", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "I was hoping for a P-plus, but that does not exist", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Basically, best grade in the class-- tied for the best grade in the class", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "We'll let you pay for your own food, because of equality", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "I have a date with my bathtub, a glass of red wine, and a gigantic fireman named Marcus", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Maybe we should all just drink sensible portions of milk", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "It's like dealing with a strict mother who I am confusingly attracted to", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Ben is like a MILF", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "I'm watching Murder She Wrote. Murder She Wrote. I'm watching Murder She Wrote.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "We are so 'drucky.' I mean 'lunky.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "I still had eight hours rental time on that hot-tub limousine", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Why are you from Russia?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "My father once told my mother that woman was made from the rib of Adam, and my mom broke his jaw", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "I'm surrounded by friends... Friends I don't know yet", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "It's the true story of a woman born with no arms and no legs who attempted to swim the English Channel... Oh, she drowned immediately", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "I don't know, Marcus. I'll hit you up when I hit you up.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "'Helpy' to hop out", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. You're being serious.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Found a small piece of carpet without a horrifying smellscape", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Pawnee, Indiana, home to the Sweetums Candy Corporation, 19 toxic-waste repositories, and not much else", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "friendly faces and hand-working hards-- hardworking hands", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "If they got together, they would make the most beautiful super baby. It would rule us all.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "You have extraordinary caput laterale", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Well, like I said, I don't want to discuss it, Buddy, and, frankly, I don't appreciate your condescending tone. But you know what? I've had a couple drinks, so what the hell?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Yes, when you have a jumbo Margarita and some flaming Tequila shots, you can get drunk", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "This-- this is not because I'm drunk. This is because of the wire.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "The sheep that watch my show are gonna eat this up like tiramisu", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "And sheep don't eat it", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna lock down that P-plus", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "You and the women taught me that nothing is impossible", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "It ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "You'd think a commuter airport could handle the luggage of 11 people at once, but apparently not", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "How much is a Walkman nowadays? Probably more than $20. Here's $25.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Great red shirt", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Ron... It was you who told me that. That's crazy.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "I'm quite lonely", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "We have now gone 48 hours without breaking up, shattering our previous record", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "48 of 'em. Different flavor for each hour.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "Yeah, we're not dating any more, okay? Get out.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Lucky"}, {"t": "I love you so much... to his apartment.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Holy hell, that's soft.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "He's deeply in debt. But you know what? Who cares?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Way quicker.", "c": ["Pillner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "If you hear any of them talking about that blonde pain in the ass, that's me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "I love building ships in bottles. When the ship is done, I put a cork in it, put it on the shelf, and I move on.", "c": ["Pillner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Our department is the only thing between her and a life of tube tops and tribal tattoos and barfing in hot tubs.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Why don't we just say that whoever gets to the emergency first will be in charge?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "She referred to this meeting as a non-stop thrill ride.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "All due respect, Mr. Hamsterpenis, but no, I don't.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "What about a cologne that can kill spiders?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Some are simple, like take down traffic lights and eliminate the post office. The bigger ones will be tougher, like, bring all of this crumbling to the ground.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Oh! Wear your yoga pants.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Oh, really? Is this politics? [hits Ben]", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "The Beer-yonce Knowles. It's just a regular beer, but we put it in a sexy-ass mug.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Pairs nicely with the Jay-Zima. We bought a bunch of Zima when the factory shut down.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "These are blank. Weird.", "c": ["Jerry", "April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "It's crazy boring. It lasts forever. You're going to wish you were dead.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Now, I am not saying that Leslie Knope is a dog murderer, per se... Like, for example, is she a dog murderer?", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "She got the perfect puppy for that shot. She is good.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "I adopted 32 cats and dogs.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Is that a pig? Yes, that is a pig.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Although the smells from the Greek restaurant next door are not ideal.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Don't want none of that animal dander interacting with this cashmere.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "That would be the coolest thing since *NSYNC, Aerosmith and Nelly performed together at the Super Bowl halftime show.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "They should be rewarded for not being people. I hate people.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "The pig ate your noise canceling headphones.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Pigs are awesome.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "There were no thoughts in my head whatsoever. My mind was blank. I don't know what the hell these other crackpots are doing.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "A lot of these dogs have rescued people from burning buildings. This one helped Ray Charles around.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "This cat was in Boogie Nights?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Did you know his great-grandfather was Spuds MacKenzie?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "And that's a dog biscuit. Andy put them on the table because he wanted to try to have the dogs play poker.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "You're trying to fit two ships into one bottle. And take it from me, you can't do that.", "c": ["Pillner"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "I know you're just making a joke but using a bigger bottle would be considered cheating by most of our major trade publications. FYI.", "c": ["Pillner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Don't try so hard.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "No. It's the opposite.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "We ended up with more animals than we started with. This is what happens when you try.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Do you think Barack and Michelle Obama feel like this at the end of the day? So, am I Michelle?", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "I did it. I got it out. Oh, geez. You don't take the ship out. Here you go.", "c": ["Pillner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "We're all just molecules floating around in random patterns, devoid of meaning.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "I'm a rolling stone. Peace.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "I will not let you return to a life of shaving wieners and dodging knife attacks from meth heads.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Money doesn't just appear... Shh! Stop talking. I have half an idea and I'm putting it together.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Ben, I'm going to commit political suicide.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm not here. I swear on my great-great-grandmother's grave. I'm not here.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "That's why it's stupid to work hard.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "What is that photo? That must come pre-loaded in there or something.", "c": ["April", "Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "You would no longer be a government parasite, sucking the lifeblood from honest, hardworking people.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Actually, the water is not good for you, either. You shouldn't drink the tap water. Has anyone told you that yet?", "c": ["Newport's handler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "Because in a week, we have a debate. And your guy, Bobby Newport, is going to have to show up and he's going to have to open his mouth. And I'm going to kick his ass.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "What do you say after work, you, me, whiskey, wheatgrass, Cranium?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "He asked me to tell anyone who comes in that he wishes to remain undisturbed, so as to better clarify his head space.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Live Ammo"}, {"t": "I can literally make anything sound positive. Your house just burned down, and you lost all your money in the stock market. It's a chance to start over. Fire is cleansing, and true wealth is measured by the amount of love in your life.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "If I had to have anybody tell me that I had cancer, I would want it to be me.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Ooh, I can't believe our house is going to be full of rich people named Dottie and Todd and Rick.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "And I will be providing my world-famous $100 lap dances.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Sweet! / No.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "4 feet. Exact same size as the podium you use in the Parks department.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "You could debate Newport in your sleep. / I have. / I know. We sleep in the same bed. It's been hell.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "You're going to rip out his spine with your teeth and then chew it up and gargle with it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I love it when you're needlessly disgusting.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Leave it messy. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Life is garbage.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "So we're up in the club. It's me! We're dancing. We're sweating. Let's just say we got to second that night. Kind of. Me so horny.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I guess she's just afraid of how powerful her feelings are.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Yes, I do, I care about... Andy... And champion.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Leslie Knope is literally overflowing with ideas for this town. And speaking of methane, have you heard about her plan to limit greenhouse gas emissions?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I've heard that you and Tom Haverford are no longer romantically involved. Is that true? / Yes, we broke up. / And I honestly can't believe we ever dated. / Does defy logic.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann", "Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Okay, I still have feelings for you. Strong feelings. Emotional, primal feelings.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Maybe not for long. If Newport wins, the city council may replace me. But it would open it up for us to be together.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I recently invested in some shirts I got at a garage sale. Left those at Wendy's on the way home.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Hello. You are here because you gave us money. Now we will give you ribs. Also you will watch the debate. If you like the debate, you'll give us more money. That is all. Ron Swanson.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Somebody forgot to pay the cable bill. Am I right? / It was me.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Nothing gets me more amped than Sarah McLachlan.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Here's what I know. I love you, and I like you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Expectations are crazy low. If he puts two sentences together without crying, the press is going to say he's doing surprisingly well, and if he falls to pieces, he's going to look sympathetic. It's a win-win.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "And I am legendary newswoman Joan Callamezzo, newly single.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I want to tell you about my idea for assault rifle vending machines.", "c": ["Fester"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Well, I've produced and starred in over 400 adult films this year alone.", "c": ["Brandi"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "And just like Leslie, I know what it's like to be the only woman in a room full of men.", "c": ["Brandi"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "That--that hurt my feelings. Hurt my feelings. You're supposed to be this positive person. Can't we just talk about things we like?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Ah, that's okay, Joan. / Looking at you, Leslie.", "c": ["Bobby", "Joan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I want your vote because I want Pawnee and my dad to see what I'm made of.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "@munchmeat2015 asks, 'Pawnee used 2 b safe. Some1 stole my car. What will u do 2 make Pawnee safe & can u help me find my car?'", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "You know, one time a guy stole some downhill skis out of my jeep. And I was so mad, I punched a mailbox. I'm against crime, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "So Swayze runs, boom! Tackles the guy off the motorcycle... And he says, 'I used to [Bleep] guys like you in prison.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Takes the esophagus out of the neck area. You can't eat. You'll starve to death. And that is Road House.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I do have an update on your time allotment, and that update is that your time is almost gone. / I have no more time left? / Well, you had some time when I started talking, but by the time I finished, your time was up.", "c": ["Perd", "Leslie", "Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I know this. If something is dirty, we should clean it up. Let's start there. Right?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "You know what, I had this cleaning lady named Yolanda who was very wise. She basically raised me.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I think we should make our parks look like my room after Yolanda finally, you know, gave in and cleaned it up for me.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Once again, Brandi and Leslie are essentially the same person.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "And we all know the better-looking a park is, the more attention it will get from lady parks who want to have sex with it.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Please. Vote for me to be your boyfriend.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "When you attacked, you kind of came off like a bully, and he looked sympathetic, so, you know, y-you did a really good job of easing off.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I guess my thoughts on abortion are... You know, let's just all have a good time. I don't care about that issue. Just ask someone else.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I guess my thoughts on abortion are... You know, let's just all have a good time. I don't care about that issue. Just ask someone else.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Does that guy Chris Traeger have a girlfriend, and is his penis normal?", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "After I steal this cable feed, I will repay the cable company for the service we used.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Recently, my dad told me that if Leslie Knope wins the election, they'll probably have to move Sweetums to Mexico.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Ah, screw it. Go get him. / Really? / Kick his ass.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "How do we fix this town? I have no idea. You tell me. That's what I'm counting on. You telling me.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "And that's how it ends. I loved it. It's called Babe. And I know it sounds corny. Talking pig. Whatever. You should all see it.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Holy [Bleep], Leslie, that was awesome. / Thanks, Bobby.", "c": ["Bobby", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "I'll take it. And you know what else? I'm coming for you, girl...Just...Like...You...Want.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Leslie Knope is scrappy like a terrier. She's smoooooth like a blended whiskey. My girl has big ideas and big feelings, and she's not afraid to express 'em.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "Hey, party at my dad's lake house. Bring whoever you want.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Debate"}, {"t": "No, I think you should deliver the news. / Yeah, but you're the candidate. / Yeah, but you're the brilliant campaign manager. / But you're the cutest. / I love you. / I love you too.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Leslie's fantasy about her swearing-in includes President Obama personally attending", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Luckily, it only hit Jerry, so no damage was done.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "This is Bert Macklin's greatest assignment yet.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "You can address me as 'eagle one.' Ann, code name: 'Been there, done that.' April is 'currently doing that.' Donna is 'it happened once in a dream.' Chris, code name: 'If I had to pick a dude.' Ben is 'eagle two.'", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Ben's relief at being 'Eagle Two' instead of getting a sexual code name", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Wha-- I'm on it. I'll go. I'm going. Please, I can go. I don't mind. It's better than listening to her stump speech for a millionth time. No. I will do it. I have to do it. I need to do it. Good-bye.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "This has been a difficult year for me, romantically. Millicent Gergich, Ann Perkins, Andy's professor-- lots of disappointment, but if I keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "And I will finally eliminate this city's libraries!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Leslie's stump speech is 10 minutes and 40 seconds every time. Here, check this out. There will be a big laugh right... now.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "And now, a two-second awkward silence after Leslie does her Rodney Dangerfield impression. I tell ya, these geese don't give me no respect. No respect at all. She insists on trying it every time, and it never works.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Everybody says they care about the issues, but at the end of the day, all anyone really wants is free clothing shot at them from a cannon.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Andy recreating the pie trajectory by smashing pie into Jerry's face repeatedly", "c": ["Andy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "The video shows that the pie came from a high angle, so it would've hit your face... like this. Don't close your eyes.", "c": ["Andy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Yeah, it was $900, but now it's $10,000. The Newport campaign offered me 10 grand to just rent the vans and park them somewhere.", "c": ["Bill Butler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Nick Newport has been intimidating and bullying and poisoning this town for years. Frankly, he's a real jerk, and if he thinks he can buy this election for his son, he's wrong. Sorry, I meant can you comment on Nick Newport dying earlier today? He died?", "c": ["Leslie", "Reporter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Sad. Is that your official statement? 'I sad'? No, my official statement is that is overall, a bummer.", "c": ["Leslie", "Reporter"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Anything else would be a classless move, on par with spray-painting nipples on the Lincoln memorial.", "c": ["Jen Barkley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Leslie organizing people by how much she trusts them", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Good answer, great body.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "I wasn't listening, but I strongly disagree with Ann.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "If the--if the guy--if-- Okay.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "What's next on the 'schedge?'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "I have a business idea for a gourmet alcoholic yogurt. I call it... Yogurt platinum.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "'We're all your friends,' said Mr. bacon. 'Welcome home.' The end. And that is Groffle, the awful Waffle, a book that I wrote and published on behalf of my education initiative.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Leslie reading her children's book 'Groffle, the Awful Waffle'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "I should not have called Nick Newport a jerk, because we need to be respectful of all dead people. I mean, not Stalin or Hitler, but-- I'm not calling Nick Newport Hitler.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Leslie's spiral comparing Newport to Hitler then catching herself", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Are there any other deceased members of Bobby Newport's family you'd like to attack? And quit ducking the waffle question. Did Groffle use a boat of some kind?", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Are we to assume that he swam across the syrup river?", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "I own a fleet of 22 crappy white vans, and for some reason there's a massive bidding war going on over them. Now for a guy whose only assets are 22 crappy white vans, it's pretty much a dream scenario, so I'm just going to ride this out, see where it takes me. And now it's 15,000.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Leslie Knope is driving her campaign bus through a memorial service. Just when we thought she couldn't stoop any lower.", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Hi... Sorry, are we late?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "We brought a 'sorry for your loss' fruit basket for Bobby. And it is very classy. No melon, no apples.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "'Cause I'm smarter and faster. That is not a judgment. That's just a fact.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Okay, first of all, dark places are awesome. Secondly, Ann is kind of lame, so way to dodge a bullet. And Millicent is Jerry's daughter, so two bullets.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "I'm not fine. It didn't work.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "He was, like, a million years old. And he was kind of a jerk.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Your mom and my dad are both dicks.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Or... Leslie wasn't the target. Well, who then? Okay, that's permanent marker. Go find Ben, get a list of everyone he's ever fired. Go, go! Macklin, you son of a bitch.", "c": ["Andy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "And I won. It was awesome. My dad wrapped me in a big hug, said he was proud of me. That's just a great story that happened between me and my dad and nobody else.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Bobby's unexpected endorsement of Leslie after she was 'super, super awesome'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "But you're the opposition campaign manager. I--I couldn't do that to Leslie. Oh, for God's sake, Chris. This campaign is over. My job is done and so is yours. It's just sex. I'm very good at it.", "c": ["Chris", "Jen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "Sewage Joe. Ben Wyatt fired you for sending pictures of your penis to everyone, and you've come here to 'pie' him. Little twerp has it coming.", "c": ["Andy", "Sewage Joe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Bus Tour"}, {"t": "In the event of an exact tie, the seat is awarded to the male candidate, and the female candidate is put in jail.", "c": ["Election Commissioner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "I don't think it would hold up in court but it is city law.", "c": ["Election Commissioner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Shouldn't we be rewarding our citizens for voting? I'm never against anyone getting a candy bar.", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I just don't see the problem.", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "This isn't a bagel.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["non_sequitur", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "It is no longer a 'Pimps and Hoes' pajama party.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "That idea was nixed by a certain uptight nerd who shall remain nameless.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Me, Drake, and the T-Mobile girl were playing baccarat on a private jet. Ann Perkins walks up to me, and she says, 'Tommy, tomorrow night, I'm taking you back.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Then, Blue Ivy Carter high-fived me and gave me $40 million.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Leslie, you can't vote for yourself, I don't think. I'm pretty sure that's illegal.", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Yeah. That sounds great, but the Pacers called, and they're asking me to be their starting point guard.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "self_deprecating"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Look at that. Look at that thing. What is that? Don't touch it.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Recently, in a moment of weakness, I had sex with Bobby Newport's campaign manager, Jennifer Barkley. Seriously? Yes, several times. And then, several more times. And then a couple more times. And then one more time.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "How long has this been going on? Oh, It's just last night.", "c": ["Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "But our ferocious sexual decathlon did radically improve my mood", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "April? Got your message! Where are you? Under the table. Why are you hiding?", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "First of all, you did the right thing by hiding under this table. Secondly, your man is here. I'm going to take care of this for us.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "I've been playing Xbox for years. I'm really good at fixing it when it freezes. I know exactly what to do.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Leslie, I can't figure this thing out. Can you help me? Yeah. Just hang on a second, Bobby. I got ink all over my hands, and the pen thingy came off the chain.", "c": ["Bobby Newport", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "With just 1% of the precincts reporting, adult film star, Brandi Maxxxx, has a commanding lead.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. That's it. It's not Bobby Newport who's going to beat me. It's Brandi Maxxxx. The porn star. What is this, Italy?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of the American melting pot", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Ron? I handed out 1,000 leaflets today. That is a personal best. Now, I'm off to vote. The polls are closed.", "c": ["Jerry", "Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Nothing you can do. Except hope Leslie doesn't lose by one vote.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "There were moments that I didn't fully understand some of the physical shapes that we were making. But the sensations were amazing.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "I'll quit, and we'll leave together. I'm serious. Move to a new city, change our names, burn our fingertips off with acid, swap faces.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "How long was that? Twenty-two seconds. Boy, that's disappointing.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "self_deprecating"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Ann, my hands. Don't panic. Here. My hands, Ann. They're in these round gloves.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Well, I've never been one for meeting new people or doing new things or eating new types of food or traveling outside of Southern Indiana. I've had the same haircut since 1978, and I've driven the same car since 1991. I've used the same wooden comb for three decades. I have one bowl.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "I still get my milk delivered by horse.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Why are you laughing? Because my dream is dead.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "I'll give you Joe Biden's home phone number.", "c": ["Jen Barkley"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Now, hang on. That's interesting.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "I picked the wrong week to do a juice cleanse.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Every five-minute coffee-break at work. Every night, every weekend, every spare moment of their lives, they gave to me. If I lose, I'll never forgive myself.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Let's go back to the party. You drive. I've had 11 whiskeys.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "A dental hygienist who's also a medium, so I can clean people's teeth and tell them when they're going to die.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Fixed it. What? What? How? Jerry accidentally deletes things all the time. Ten years ago, I installed my own secret backup.", "c": ["Donna", "April", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Where did you get a Washington Monument figurine at midnight on a Tuesday? From my office. I have, like, 50 of them.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "But you won. You won, Leslie. You won by 21 votes.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "That was really sneaky, Ann. I know. I couldn't resist.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Because guess who's got two thumbs and was just cleared from insurance fraud? This guy. You know? Got off on a technicality.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Tommy! This party was amazing. You're amazing. You are ridiculous, but I like you. And I think that we should date all of it.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Great win. Great night. Great year. Hot wife. Jackpot. Good job, me.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "self_congratulatory"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "How does this sound? 'Officer Dwyer, Pawnee P.D.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "Jerry forgot to vote. Damn it, Jerry!", "c": ["Leslie", "Everyone"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "City Council, bitches!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Win, Lose, Or Draw"}, {"t": "That building looks like a boob.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, it's not. Oh, yeah, I know. It's the White House. No. It's the Capitol.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Now, throw it away, because Leslie Knope is your guidebook. I didn't... I didn't mean literally. I had some notes in it.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "There's a mall? That's awesome. I need to get some flip-flops.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "You're going to throw the Leslie Knope Employment Enjoyment SummerSlam Grill Jam Fun-splosion?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Parks and Dolls! I got your park right here / Its name is Ramsett Park / And its gates are open from dawn till dark", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Barbecues should be about one thing. Good shared meat.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Well, Ron, can we at least have corn on the cob? No.", "c": ["Jerry", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "How do I know this isn't a treasure map just waiting to be unfurled? Because it's gum. That's gum.", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Leslie, this is a really cool penis but Ben and April are meeting us at the Smithsonian in 10 minutes.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Way to be, Ron! You're really getting it done, man! He can't hear me.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "His name is Tom. Burn. Seriously? No, I understand that it's hilarious. But that is his given Christian name.", "c": ["Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Which one of you youngsters wants to help me drain the blood from this animal? If you do a good job, I'll give you the bladder. You can blow it up for a fun play ball.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "This just says, 'I can do what I want.' I am the director of the Parks Department and this is a park.", "c": ["Ben", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Sir, you protect our nation's history and you're a hero. Yeah. A hero with something to hide. Like probably a treasure map.", "c": ["Andy", "Security Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "We were going to have sex. Okay.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Were you talking to my butt? Yes.", "c": ["April", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "It feels like I just exercised. Just sit on the ground. No, Jerry. It's dirty and I'm wearing my summer linens.", "c": ["Jerry", "Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "That's not a picnic blanket. That's a merino wool throw for my Eames chair.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Ann and Tom, A.K.A. Haverkins, is stronger than ever.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Let's move in together. Totally. No take-backs when we sober up, though, partner. No take-backs, partner.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "More importantly, I bet Donna $1,000 that we'd be together for another month. I can't stress this enough. If she finds out that we broke up, I'll go bankrupt.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Tommy's got the tum-rums.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "You can get water from that water fountain and use it to water down the beer. Why not just give the kids water? I suppose you could do that.", "c": ["Ron", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "But by the time this day is over, they will have been taken by the grill and delicately and tenderly shown the ways of flavorful meat-love.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Ben and I are a power couple, like the Roosevelts or the Clintons... Oh, wait. We do. Three, four...", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Oh. Most people just mail their applications in. I'm not most people.", "c": ["Receptionist", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "You know, there's a CD inside that plays the sound of a babbling river... I was also going to show a DVD that had some images of frolicking river otters.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Is that Pawnee, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma, or Texas?", "c": ["Receptionist"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Ben, you're fired. It's my office now. Boom!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Could we just real quick stop at the nearest place that has free pants?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I smuggled in some candy. Oh, thank God. I'm starving. Raisins? It's nature's candy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Did you put glitter in the laundry detergent? Oh, Yeah. I'm experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. That one is called 'SparkleSuds. Dress Loud.'", "c": ["Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "This morning, you put glitter in the butter. 'Disco Dairy. Spread the Party.' No, that's not a good idea. That's terrible.", "c": ["Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I love politics. Look. I made a shrimp claw. I'm really proud of you, babe. Now, put your used plate in my purse. I almost have a complete set.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "My grandma is on the city council in her town. It gives her a reason to leave the house.", "c": ["Party Guest"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "And I was mistaken for Beverly D'Angelo by a Japanese tourist.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I gave them to the kids. They love them. They're skipping them across the pond.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Ron, if no one takes me to the bathroom, I'm just going to have to go in the trees.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Does anybody feel like they can't breathe? I think I need some fresh air. We're outside.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "It's like C-SPAN and Neiman Marcus had kids or something.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "We're overrun with raccoons and obese toddlers.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I thought you'd enjoy meeting numbers 4 and 26 on Leslie's List of Amazing Women.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I put glitter in all your moisturizers and lotions. I'm calling it 'SparkleSkin by Annie. Twinkle, Twinkle, Big Star.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "As someone who has lied a lot about various aspects of a myriad of relationships, I respect the effort you've gone to.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I combined all of the giant, dark-haired smartphone power Goddesses into one woman called Hot Rebecca.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Everything is going to be fine with you and Ben because if I know Ben, he, too, is an amalgam. No. Yeah. Point is you're better than Hot Rebecca. You're Kickass Leslie. Nope. ...an amalgam. Nailed it.", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "My nomination was 'Jerry accidentally forwards his bank statement to everyone.' Classic. And depressing.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. The smell is so much worse when you get up close. Yeah. Oh! Look. A handgun! I call it!", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "The White House, America's most whitest house. Most notably is where Sinbad lived in the film, First Kid.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Do you know why it's called the Oval Office? No. Because of a man. Oval Redenbacher. What? The popcorn inventor. He used to hang out with John F. Kennedy.", "c": ["Andy", "Tourist"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "This tour guide is the most amazing tour guide there ever was. Please. Step up. $200 cash up front.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Ms. Knope Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "\"Box 1 of 12\"?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "\"I've been wearing a bandana as underwear for three days now.\"", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Look, there's a picture. Ah! That's horrifying.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "I love him so much.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "What did you put in the sugar? It's so good.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Paunch Burger, Big and Wide, The Fat Sack, Coronel Plum's Slop Trough", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "which was formerly Sue's Salads until we ran that out of town", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Number two is right.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Get me a refill.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "definitely no Papyrus", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Papyrus? Are you kidding me? There's no place for that in a professional office setting.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "they call me Devo, 'cause I can \"whip 'em good.\"", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "13's just obnoxious.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Community college. Eh, that's too far.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Andy demonstrates his one push-up ability", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "That's a typo, right? I mean, that's humanly impossible.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Oh, do you mean the \"li'I swallow\"?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Some girls buy them for their dollhouses, but they're not very popular.", "c": ["Ms. Pinewood"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Most people call it a gallon, but they call it the \"regular.\"", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "that they call \"child size.\"", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Well, it's roughly the size of a two-year-old child, if the child were liquefied.", "c": ["Ms. Pinewood"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "No! I'm never gonna be a cop. I'm gonna have to be a robber.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Not because of what you did, which was terrible, but because of what I'm going to be able to get you to do.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "I actually think you look really good, except for the stick up your butt. Who do you think drew it?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Nathaniel is related to Donald Rumsfeld. Brittany's dad is Ben Bernanke's dentist.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "The zero on the label refers to the amount of water in it, which is zero.", "c": ["Ms. Pinewood"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "If you want zero-calorie water, try diet water zero lite. It has only 60 calories.", "c": ["Ms. Pinewood"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Consequently, we haven't had sex in ten years. I-I thought you said he gained weight in the last three months. Well, we have lots of other problems.", "c": ["Angry Woman", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "All taxation is theft! If the government can tax me, I-I can--I can do this. Grover, give that woman her purse back.", "c": ["Grover", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Orange racing stripe. It's a perfect recreation of Han lue's Nissan in The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift. Weirdly, so far, no one has noticed.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "I exercise because, when I was a baby, I had a rare blood disorder, and I suppose I need to feel like my body's in tip-top shape... So it doesn't destroy me, leaving me to die alone.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "what's up, my male? You grab a slice of 'za, brah.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "We should lock down some tight disc grabs, am I right, ell-bones?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "I think we should tax all bad things, like racism and women's vaginae.", "c": ["Town Hall Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "We're not taxing anyone's genitals. Then what the hell are we doing here?", "c": ["Leslie", "Town Hall Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Maybe instead of me losing my job, you ought to lose your job. Let's recall Leslie Knope. Let's do this!", "c": ["Restaurant Worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Someone please tell me we kodaked that moment.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "All right, April, what's the score? 1,000 to 7.", "c": ["Ben", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Nobody. Nothing. Does it really even matter?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "There's something wrong with my body. My legs aren't working. I'm broken.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "I'm floating in this giant river of ambiguity. I'm under a warm waterfall of uncertainty.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Do you just have to pee real bad? Yes.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Oh, no.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Mayhaps, might I suggest that we have a re--aah!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Do you guys know how to dissolve super glue?", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Ell-bow. Ell-chupacabra. Drinkin' coffee.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "it's from 40 years ago. Never mind.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Hey, man, I didn't draw it. Your daughter did. What? Her. April's not my daughter. She's my friend.", "c": ["Ellis", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Sorry, Dad.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "So what? I've tried to fire you.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no. I tried to fire you four times.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "They found nothing. Nothing? Nothing. The silent killer.", "c": ["Chris", "Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "I'm gonna die an anonymous, meaningless speck of dust.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "It's too bad there's not doctors for your mind.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "I need to climb the Mount Everest of my mind.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Right. That was the worst thing you were.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "12%. 15. For God's sake, I'm asking for 15% effort. It's not supposed to be a negotiation.", "c": ["April", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Ellis hates you, and he has herpes.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get a melon baller and scoop your eyes out and eat them, and your congressman uncle is gonna have to buy you a dog to drag your eyeless face around.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Soda Tax"}, {"t": "Yes. I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Occupied!", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I think it is crazy that the most junior city councilor gets a private bathroom just because she is a girl.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I'm going to drop my liquids in here, take my solids down the hall. Deal?", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "How?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "You can't share too much or too often.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "That's too much, Jerry. For real. Keep us out your bedroom.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Thank you, Andy. I agree.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "You're welcome, Chris.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I sound insane. I'm going to go talk to my therapist.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Well, that's your opinion.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Because not only am I a city councilor. I'm a city councilor with porpoise.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "We came in fourth in the County swim meet last year.", "c": ["Swim team kid"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Porpoise call! [awkward silence]", "c": ["Leslie", "swim team"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I'm not weird. Okay, everybody leave.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "And writing Star Trek fan fiction does not count.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I... finished it last week.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Dude, 30 years from now, when you're on your deathbed, what are you going to remember? Organizing files or taking a spontaneous road trip to surprise Leslie?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "We'll jam out to some sweet tunage.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Actually, no. I don't want to go any more. / Just kidding. / We're not going. / Road trip! / So we're going? / Yes!", "c": ["April", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "She's like the little sister I never had. Because the little sister I do have is normal and not terrifying.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Government is inefficient and should be dissolved. Please hold while I transfer you.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Well, how do I get I.T. Here? / Call 311.", "c": ["Ron", "Donna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Andrew, get your lunch, some water, and a 40-pound bag of asphalt. / Hey!", "c": ["Ron", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "No, no. This is 311. / Donna, they switched my phone with 911.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Living in this town's like living in the devil's butt crack.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "My God, that is so interesting to me because I'm a map salesman.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Why aren't we moving? / Because. Other cars.", "c": ["Ben", "April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "It's because the two leading industries here are corn syrup and rubber nipples. It is a dentistry jackpot.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Well, D.D.S. Doesn't stand for 'dumb, dumb, stupid.'", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Not my initials, but thank you so much.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "So when the Ann's away, the mice get perms.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "The perm must wait, Autumn! The perm must wait.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know how to do math, Mason.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "You know, screw Jamm. Screw Jamm.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I don't know how to answer that.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "we do humbly request thine permission to befix doth holes yonder.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Well, uh, I kind of look at it like it's your favorite directors making a mix tape just for you.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Benji's Cool Times Summer Jamz Mix", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Don't judge me.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I've eaten the same lunch for 58 years. Caesar salad, extra dressing, extra croutons, and extra anchovies.", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Their platform? 'De-integrate Baseball.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "You can really taste the ignorance. / It's pronounced 'anchovies.'", "c": ["Tom", "Milton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Seaweed choke! / That large boy is my colleague.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Tim, Mary, Jack, uh, Tim, Marie, Tim, and Mary. / Don't forget about Tim. / Right, Tim. / You know, it's very hard to tell.", "c": ["Milton", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "What country is he from? / Iceland.", "c": ["Milton", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Data had never felt this way before. Of course, data had never felt anything before. But Captain Picard couldn't help but note the smile that crept over his mechanical but lifelike face.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I'm gonna murder you.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Right? / So, how exactly are you gonna fix this hole? Just for my own edification.", "c": ["Ron", "Diane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "\u266a Ron and Diane sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I've got Irritable Bowel Syndrome.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "you can put your butt back in your pants, sir.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Or does it require two princesses?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "You remind me of a young, beautiful Strom Thurmond.", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "She tried to kiss me. / She was insatiable.", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "You're missing the backs of your upper canines. Sloppy technique.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I do not negotiate with dentists.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, it's just... your face is ridiculous.", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "We're out of gas.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Can't wait to drop my kids at the pool. By 'kids,' I mean turds.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Lay the mother on her side and try to move the baby in a corkscrew fashion.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "'A,' I don't recall inviting you in here, and 'B,' I did not like her.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "See how it feels?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Is that a euphemism? / No. / Then great work.", "c": ["Chris", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I'm a middle school vice-principal. I don't screw around. Does that freak you out?", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "No need to wear makeup.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "Because it's fun in the sun!", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "No, my perm.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "And the Tommy Haverford member's chair.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "I do not like this.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "How A Bill Becomes A Law"}, {"t": "How dare you, sir? I was tweeting.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "9:17. Drive faster, blue Civic. Daaaaaamn. #soccermoms", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Gotta pass this lady on the 'ejkerkj'. That's when I hit the fire hydrant.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Sorry, allegedly hit the fire hydrant.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "#unbreakable. #what'sMr. Glassuptothesedays? whynosequel?", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "pop_culture_reference"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "No! Please, send me to jail!", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Pr-press send, bailiff! Press send!", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "A cowboy hat from your cowboyfriend. That makes it sound like he's a cow.", "c": ["Leslie Knope", "Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "From your cowboy boyfriend. Your boycow-cowboy. Just call him 'Ricky.'", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Great news: Lots of old people have chlamydia. Whoo!", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "It's amazing what a few old guys can do with a little bit of charm and a lot of crabs.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "They're hopped up on E.D. medication and they got nothing to lose, 'cause they're close to death.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Actually, I think it's pronounced 'horny.'", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I'll start. I'm an old lady, why do I need birth control? I haven't had my monthly since LBJ was president.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Do pubic hairs get longer the older you get? Because that's happening to me.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Where can I get lube that is healthy to eat?", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I ran over my testicles with my jazzy scooter.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I want to jump on that caboose. Choo choo!", "c": ["Jerry Gergich"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, sir, but you have to be under 40 to ride this train.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "'LeRon James.' We still on for breakfast?", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I just drove around in circles until I saw something familiar.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I built a real-life Pinterest board.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I really wish you could click those.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "His name is congressman David Murray, he is our boss and he is white. Don't embarrass me.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "And I am April Blart, mall cop.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "pop_culture_reference"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "That's right, you could practically cook an egg on the sidewalk.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Hey, we're still gonna assassinate him, right?", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "What the hell is he doing?", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "My. I have two partners, often at the same time.", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Heart attack. Falling in love. Partner dies on top of you!", "c": ["Various Seniors"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I don't know, I thought we were just talking about it.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Well, that's all fine and good, but what if the banana is soft and mushy, and doglegs sharply to the left?", "c": ["Elderly Man"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "God, Jerry! You don't deserve the Internet!", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I made an iPhone out of paper. It's not the same, though.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "and her husband, Marshall, is... vivacious.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "we have babies in thong underwear. Is that what you want?", "c": ["Marcia Langman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Yes, that's what I want.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Andy, pack up our bananas!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I need to get on webMD now! I need a iPhone or a Samsung Galaxy, something with 4G.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "It's not my favorite shirt, but it is my least favorite shirt.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "And 100% of Pawneeans are 'perd-verts.' That's the name I call fans of this show based on the fact that my name is Perd.", "c": ["Perd Hapley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Put away your sex toys and play with them on your own time.", "c": ["Chris Traeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "This morning he got in, sat down in there, and has been staring straight ahead, doing nothing.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "He's not a robot. He's just thinking. He's got a lot on his mind. Yeah, like, 'One, one, zero, one. Must eat babies for fuel.'", "c": ["Ben Wyatt", "April Ludgate"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "No, sir. All systems are operational.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Wikipedia: Mankind's greatest invention/ you can learn about anything.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "It's actually a guy named Brad that's a teacher in Pittsburgh. We don't have a lot in common, but we chat quite a bit.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "There's even a little Indian guy, but he has a turban on, which I think is racist, but the Asian guy also has a racist hat on, and it's like, 'Hold up, didn't Japanese people invent this?'", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Jean-Ralphio and I have one called 'Nacho average podcast,' where we rate different kinds of nachos.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I had no idea how much you had in your system.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I've downloaded every episode of Intervention. I know what to do here.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Well, maybe not where you come from in 'Tramp-sylvania.'", "c": ["Marcia Langman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I'm from Michigan! That wasn't worth saying.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "You're dressed like an abstinence girl on the outside! God, I'm off my comeback game right now.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "You're dressed like Annie Oakley and Pippi Longstocking had a baby and I love it.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "A deer jumped in front of the car, and then a bear jumped in front of the deer!", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "'Tommy-edamame' is back on the grid. Tell everyone to light me up with their dijjies, gotta load 'em into my burner.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "\u266a I'm Marshall Langman and I'm here to say \u266a \u266a that sex before marriage is never the way \u266a", "c": ["Marshall Langman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I am not going to be told not to have sex by someone who's ten years my junior.", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "The devil likes to hide in all your private nooks and crannies, and if you open too wide, he might get out, or in.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Screw it. Okay, here. This is a penis, right? You put a condom on it...", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "As your city manager, I recommend that you formally apologize and that, in the future, you stick to the letter of the law, but between you and me, as your best friend... I kind of admire what you did up there.", "c": ["Chris Traeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "He turns it on when he has to, and when he doesn't, he just sits there. There's no surprises, it's perfect.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "The truth is I spend a lot of time looking at screens because recently, a lot of the stuff in my real life isn't going that great. So I'd rather play Doodle Jump then think about that.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I bought a lasso online, Leslie. I turned all my jeans into Daisy Dukes.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Well, that's good, but I'll tell you, he'll never lasso another heifer as fine as you, Annie Oakley.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Tell that to the folks at Pier 1, an establishment I'm no longer allowed inside.", "c": ["Perd Hapley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "I am giving you a non-electronic book made of paper from a tree.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "No! They got you!", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Let's go eat some batteries... I mean, human food.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Education"}, {"t": "Am I interrupting something important? / Impossible. I work for the government.", "c": ["unknown visitor", "Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "How are the girls-- / Yes, they are.", "c": ["unknown visitor", "Ron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Her children are loud. / Kung fu! / Here comes trouble!", "c": ["Ron", "children"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "What the hell just happened?", "c": ["unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "confusion"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "But no trampoline room, correct? / Correct. Like all houses in the world, there's no trampoline room.", "c": ["Leslie", "Martha"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "He would move into my place, but it's a scary nightmare hoarder nest. His words. And Ann's. And the official report filed by the Health Department.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Thought it was gonna be more dramatic than that. / Hold on. Okay, say it again. / Martha, I wanna lease this house. / Whoo!", "c": ["Leslie", "Martha"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "It's just a piece of paper and he only made it for me after I specifically asked for it while crying loudly, but... It sure meant a lot to receive it.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "I hope no one minds if I live tweet this bitch.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "He holds my life in his hand like a fragile little bird.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "But especially me! / Especially everyone. / This was a team effort, really. But I was the best. Thank you. / You were all fantastic. Most of all me, April Ludgate, the real hero. Thank you and you're welcome.", "c": ["April", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Gone, but never forgotten. / Who was that? I'm just kidding.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Oh, for the last four years everything has been princesses. Every book, every movie, every backpack. All princesses all the time. / Oh, that sounds fun. / It's a nightmare.", "c": ["Diane", "Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Tree, leaves, night, sky, hand. Andy's hand.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Some idiot kids were caught pooping on the soccer field?", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "I need to go to the bathroom. / I-I have no idea what to do about that.", "c": ["child", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "In the fifth one, the canoe's actually the hero. It's a crazy twist.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Florida? They have sharks in Florida. And swamps. And swamp sharks. / Do you mean alligators? / Maybe.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "7:34 pm. Man dressed as a nerd. Female dressed as crazy witch. Neither of us is in costume. Case closed. Candy, please.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Okay, well, let's just even things out. There. Now neither of you has a tiara. Problem solved.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Now I know exactly how FDR felt after Pearl Harbor.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Jerry, God. Gross. / Oh... Jerry? / Guys, I-- / Oh, God, I think he might be having a heart attack.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Oh, geez! Did a dinosaur just fart? / Jerry, get a grip. / Sorry, guys. / Ugh! Apology not accepted. / Stop talking, moron. / I wish I could stop smelling. / Dude. / Seriously, Jerry, did you eat farts for lunch?", "c": ["Various", "Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "I just want to hear the doctor say that Jerry had a fart attack. Is that too much to ask?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "One time I sprained my wrist and our insurance claimed that having a wrist was a pre-existing condition.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Honey, this is the hat I was wearing the first time I ever heard Vitalogy by Pearl Jam. / Oh, $900. / Yeah, that sounds about right.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "If the kids ever wanted to come to my place, I'd have to take a whole week off work just to undo the alarms and tripwires.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Chris Traeger-- exercise phase. Andy Dwyer-- my grunge phase. Tom Haverford-- my needless shopping phase. Also my credit card debt phase.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "As many of your know, Jerry Gergich, our friend, has suffered a devastating fart attack", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Well, that was my first high profile case. It was a classic Florida divorce. Guy cheats on his wife with Dan Marino's masseuse, one day she cuts his junk off, throws it in the Everglades. / Why not? / Damn alligator ate it.", "c": ["Kurtzwilder", "Jen"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "You can't sell clothes at a tag sale for more than they're worth. / Um, watch me.", "c": ["customer", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Do you wanna say anything to me? / Oh. Yes. You look nice today. / You broke my daughter's tiara. You ruined their Halloween. Don't you feel a little bit bad about that?", "c": ["Diane", "Ron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna apologize. It wasn't even a real tiara, for God's sake. / Oh, well, relationship over. Too bad. / Oh, my God, you are so sad.", "c": ["Ron", "Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "An evening with sexy nurse Ann Perkins. Look at her, folks. One evening with the most beautiful woman in the world.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Look at her, folks. One evening with the most beautiful woman in the world. Just dinner and dancing, nothing sexual. Unless she's into that, but no, she's not. Nothing fresh. Don't even try it. But you never know, right? / No! No, she's not into it. Don't try anything, but, you know, give it a shot.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Three out of four married couples have met each other at spontaneous auctions. / I don't think that's true. / I d--well, I don't know, I--", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "My cousin's got a kickass mud pit in his yard. She could watch me do belly flops then we maybe we could get some Thai food and a tank of nitrous and see what happens.", "c": ["bidder"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "I am going to bid a million dollars on myself. / Going once, going never, sold.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Rent-a-swag.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Jerry, but your future has been canceled. / Leslie, thank you. That is amazing. / No, it stinks. It's not even close to what you need. With all your bills, and the inevitable follow-up problems, and the lifetime of chronic misery that awaits you. I mean, you had this whole plan for your retirement and your beach house and now you're future is just a huge pile of crap.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "I mean, you had this whole plan for your retirement and your beach house and now you're future is just a huge pile of crap.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, your life is so depressing. / No thank you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "I thought I could teach 'em to saw. / I now realize that seems dangerous.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "I am deeply, ridiculously in love with you and above everything else, I just-- I wanna be with you forever.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Just--I need another second, please. I need to remember every little thing about how perfect my life is right now at this exact moment.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "Trick or treat! / It's November 8th.", "c": ["children", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "All right, I got some, uh, calcium chews and, uh, a roll of cookie dough.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween Surprise"}, {"t": "When Andy proposed to me, he gave me a ring pop. But then he ate it first.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "In 1832, Ben's great-great-great-great grandfather, Teodore Wyatt, a bastard, met a beautiful seamstress from Antwerp.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "I've been telling everybody about it. I'm so happy I want to shout it from the rooftops. And she has. We've gotten several noise complaints.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "The joy that I am feeling right now is profound and unmatched in the modern era. And I can't tell you what it means to me that I am the very first person that you chose to tell.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "We have something very exciting to tell you that you have never heard before. Ben and I are engaged. And you're hearing about it for the very first time right now.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Surprisingly, no. Larry Bird has not RSVP'd yet. Well, he kind of waits until the last minute. That's his style. Put him down as a 'maybe'.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "One, put Twizzlers on the candy table. And, two, cancel the party.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "'No' to canceling the party, and 'no' to Twizzlers. We are a Red Vines family. You're going to have to get used to that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Well, if there's anyone who can bring my parents together, it's no one. No one can ever bring them together.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "My family situation is complicated. My parents got divorced 30 years ago, and they hate each other. Okay, I guess, it's not that complicated.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "You guys pretend you're Ron Swanson, and you're trying to decide whether you want to invest in this company. Be super critical. You're short.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Parents, are you tired of watching your middle-school-aged children grow out of the nice clothes you buy for them? Then rent them from Rent A Swag.", "c": ["Tom", "Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "I own it. You rent it. You wear it. You clean it. You return it. I get rich. Wink!", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "It's the greatest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. No. Yes. It's terrible.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "You and I go stargazing in Harvey James Park while my parents slowly strangle each other in the living room.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Of all of my metaphorical art projects, this is by far the coziest.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "And, out of respect, I did not include any images of the only other man in the world who's as sexy as you, Joe Biden. Yes, you did, right there. Oh, well, that's just a little one.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "My romantic life has been a bit of a mixed bag lately.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "This was literally the most beautiful, and moving thing that I have ever heard. There, there, baby boy. Take all the time you need.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Well, sure, in a wrestling match, Kirk would win. But, overall, who would you rather have at the helm of your Sovereign-class starship? Jean-Luc Picard. No contest.", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "The toast that you gave to Ben and Leslie was so beautiful. And I'm feeling very raw from my therapy. I'm so happy and so sad. It's like a perfect storm of emotions.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Oh! There's no more tissue. Everything ends. No, no, no. No, there's more tissue. Everything goes away.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "And I said, 'Rules or no rules, I just have to kiss that beautiful face.' Oh, well, that's a Knope woman for you. When we see something adorable, we attack it.", "c": ["Leslie", "Julia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "We didn't know it was spring break.", "c": ["Julia"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "We're a Twizzlers family.", "c": ["Ulani"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "I called a cab. It's outside. I gave the driver $100 to sit and wait. So, whenever we're ready to go, like, maybe, right now, all we have to do is walk outside.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Well, they're white people from Minnesota. So, hockey, fishing, skiing, sailing. And after a few drinks put on a Prince album.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Also, I have enough frequent flyer miles to get us to Australia tonight.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "You are a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox. Thank you, ox, for keeping this ship afloat.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Because I'm dating myself right now. Okay? I'm trying to figure out how to make me happy. Ugh. Why is it always about you, Ann? Self-centered much?", "c": ["Ann", "April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Ever since I got my first job at the age of nine, I have put all my money into gold, which is currently at an all-time high. So, I have a certain amount of money. I've said too much.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Ricka, ricka, ricka, ricka Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Swanson Jean-Ralphio. That's me.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "I just free-associated all over the moustache.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Okay. Rethink that move, son.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "In ninth grade, a quilt ended an argument between my two best friends. And a quilt settled the Donna-Jerry parking lot feud of 2006. What was the third time? Right now.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Police, open up, we have a warrant! Just kidding, it's us. Ha! We got you.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "You are such a brave, good dog with so much spirit. You have overcome so much. You are the most wonderful dog in the whole world. And I am so happy for you.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Not technically an adult.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "See, Ben? They're agreeing. It's working.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "But sometimes you've got to work a little, so you can ball a lot.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Pizza, the beach, rock and roll music. Smallpox, botched surgery, snails crawling out of your mouth. This is weirdly working. It's evening me out.", "c": ["Andy", "Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "She's ruining your quilt, just like she ruined our marriage.", "c": ["Stephen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "You're what? Oh, boy. I didn't mean to steal your spotlight, but the cat's out of the bag. Young Ben is going to have a new baby sister.", "c": ["Ulani", "Stephen"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Still firing bullets, son.", "c": ["Stephen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "It's like the War of the Wyatts out there, huh?", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Sometimes, he won the argument, and sometimes I won. But usually, we forgot what we were arguing about and just had sex.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "How can you be so wise and so inappropriate at the same time? I'm a parent.", "c": ["Leslie", "Marlene"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, no, I'm definitely not.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "I grabbed all of the brownies from the dessert table and four bottles of wine. Get in the car. We're going to Australia.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "For another $100, you can do whatever you want.", "c": ["Cab Driver"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Ann Perkins. You are, without a doubt, the queen of toilet humor. That's all I ever wanted to be.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "You can either take it, or you can take it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "Clubs. Girls. Dancing. Naked. Mom? Argument. Police. Fleeing the scene. Hiding in a dumpster. Coming here. Crashing on your couch for a week because, technically, I'm homeless.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Bens Parents"}, {"t": "2020... Uh... that's a stretch. Fine. 2024.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I'll take the West Wing. You take the East Wing. You can be the first gentleman.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Is it a waffle tower?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "You're--my name just came out of your mouth.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Oh, Mr. vice president, I am deeply flattered, but there's no way that I could take over Madam Secretary Clinton's position. I mean-- Okay, I will.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Hey-- y-you're very welcome. You're very handsome. Well, you're very nice. Okay. Thank you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "You don't let anything happen to him, you understand me? He is precious cargo.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "So just call me Bond, municipal bond.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Yeah, that joke killed at the accounting firm.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Looks and Professor Books. He's Looks. I got it.", "c": ["Tom", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Well, fun fact: Ben just got an amazing accounting job. Regular fact: I have to go to a meeting. Un-fun fact: My Uncle just had a stroke.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "We specialize in making stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I discovered I'm roughly the same size as the average Pawnee 12-year-old.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Pawnee only has two dog parks-- this one and that one, which is also an active parking lot.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Can you say 'per capita' again? I want to take a picture of you saying 'per capita.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "And... here we go.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "He's an animal living on a human farm. And you can go and feed him from your own hand.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I don't want to whip out the legalese on you now, but I got dibs.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "A game is the foot.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I took my talents to South Beach.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Yes, I took your government computer from Indiana to Miami to sell it on the black market for 150 bucks.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Your mission statement made sense, and you didn't use one R. Kelly lyric.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "It seems like the kind of place a ska band would go to shoot heroin.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I mean, look, there's already a dog here. Oh, my God. I had that exact doll when I was a kid.", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Okay. Saw off your pinky toe. No. Shave your head. No. Have sex with Jerry. No.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I have created a monster. And now I need to destroy her.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "He's smart, and he's beautiful, and I think of him in many ways as a daughter, but that would be crazy 'cause he's a man and his name's Ricky.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I once had you put together a brochure about different kinds of Indiana topsoil.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "That soil brochure was not busy work. I mean, people still refer to Mulch Ado About Nothing.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Those were distraction waffles? I thought they were friendship waffles.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Breakfast food can serve many purposes.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I like the statement it's making that, you know, we're all in cages in a way. Yeah, it's actually about death and the city.", "c": ["Ann", "Orin"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Oh, my escargot delivery service, Snail Mail.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "People died. Actually, speaking of, we're starting up a non-profit foundation to restore our name.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Just to clarify, it's a no to me on all fronts, and you're offering Ben a job? Yeah. Cool. Cool.", "c": ["Tom", "Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "It's not. My real name is Gary. Well, Gary--if that even is your real name--", "c": ["Jerry", "Andy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I can never tell when people are lying to me. Hopefully that doesn't come up in my police work.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "What's your favorite part? The heavy-handedness.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "He gave me a really cool dental mirror to check out my molars.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Moo. Moo. Quiet, weirdo. Aren't you supposed to be a sheep? No. You are.", "c": ["April", "Orin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Not to mention in the last month alone three people have confused me for a shorter, Indian Ryan Gosling.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "He sweats. He stutters. It's like The King's Speech, but the first part, before he's fixed.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "That was my favorite part of the movie.", "c": ["Cameraman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Don't play stupid and handsome with me. You're as guilty as you are sexy.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Like a real crime? That's even better.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Really? I just heard one hag booing.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "You don't even have to be Asian to do math that simple.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "You told me you wanted a dog park. Uh, psych.", "c": ["April", "Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "You just got jammed.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I hate when he says that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Yes, you do. You're a mouse eater. Mouse eater. Mouse eater.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "No one leaves the Octagon. I dated an ultimate fighter. It was like a thing he said.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Boom, take 'em all out.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "It's not superhero time.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Maybe we should find the person who stole his positive attitude.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "If it was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "They have a show about storage unit auctions.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Yes. We'll have triple-sex with him.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "When I get bummed out, I take my shirt off because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "And I get a gun, and I can point it in people's faces. Incorrect.", "c": ["Andy", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "He is dry-humping my garden gnome. Stupid beast.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "You just got knoped. And ludgated. And perkinsed.", "c": ["Leslie", "April", "Ann"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Nice try. It didn't work. You just got jammed.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Wait, wait, wait, do you never just take a second to enjoy things? I just said, 'let's get to work.' How else do people enjoy things?", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Well, formulas are my formula for moolah.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Ted, get in here! Ben's quitting again, but you gotta hear what he said.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "I mean, other than the stability and the health plan and the above-average pay. Oh, God, this better work out.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Leslie Vs. April"}, {"t": "Support for Pawnee Community Radio comes from listeners like you and from the new film The Shadows of Seven Heads, the dramic tale of an Israeli soldier who falls in love with conjoined Palestinian sextuplets.", "c": ["Radio announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "sitting in for Nina Joplin, who is touring the country performing a spoken-word opera about pear-shaped women", "c": ["Derry Murbles"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Your show last week on dolphin lactation was just riveting radio.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "A Bat-Signal, for listeners who might not know, refers to the children's character 'the Bat-Man' a strong gentleman who fights crime nocturnally.", "c": ["Derry Murbles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "This is all gonna fall apart if you don't hurry.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "movie reviews with Ken Tucker who is filling in for David Bianculli who's in New York filling in for Ken Tucker", "c": ["Derry Murbles"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Now it's time for 'Jazz Plus Jazz Equals Jazz,' today we have a recording of Benny Goodman played over a separate recording of Miles Davis.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Also, I'm innocent. Please find me a lawyer.", "c": ["Prison letter writer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "This is like Parks Department porn.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "I don't care if he's some junkie war criminal pimp.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "His name's Wreston St. James. He's from Eagleton. Oh, I've changed my mind.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "I'm not being melodramatic when I say that people from Eagleton are snobby and evil, and they look down on Pawnee, and they would most likely exterminate everyone who isn't from Eagleton if they weren't so busy being obsessed with themselves.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Sometimes when I rant about Eagleton, I forget to breathe, and I pass out.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Friends, former lovers, acquaintances, Jerry", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Much like women in '90s stand-up comedy routines, Tommy be shopping.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "And Louis Vuitton for making some dope-ass cravats.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Help.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Help. I can't move.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "What am I supposed to do with my garbage, just throw it on the ground?", "c": ["Wreston"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Oh, hey. Thank you for the trash!", "c": ["Pawnee citizen"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Its official name is 'Five Mile Grounds', but we like to call it 'Wide smiles abound.'", "c": ["Wreston"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "[Visual contrast between Pawnee side (brown, barren) and Eagleton side (lush, green)]", "c": ["Visual"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Will you come down here, please, and keep me company? I'm so bored. I need you.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "I did everything I was supposed to do, and I walked around the building four times. Only 20 minutes has gone by.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "I got so bored, I started thinking about existence-- 'Do I matter? Do any of us? Is there a master plan in the works, a grand design?'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Ugh! Who cares?", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Isn't this how all great Bert Macklin cases start?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "It's quiet. A little too quiet.", "c": ["Andy as Bert Macklin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "The scientists think it's going to linger for another 40 years.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "In 1988, we were hit by a tornado. We asked Eagleton for help, and they claimed they weren't home. An entire town claimed they weren't home.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "It's us.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Donna, you and your work are ravishing, as usual.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Jerry! How's the old ticker? Oh. Well, uh, the rehab is grueling-- Great! Glad to hear it.", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "June, 1817, the richest among them take all of their money from the bank and then flee up the hill like cowards to form Eagleton.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Do not blame me for the sins of my mother.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "We have a mural called 'The Many Surrenders of Pawnee.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "My name is Judy Hitler, and I am the spoiled only daughter of Adolf.", "c": ["April as Judy Hitler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Oh, Hitler, you sexy bastard. No!", "c": ["Andy as Bert Macklin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Why are you using this wood? Is it more pliable? What are these metal latches? Are they copper or brass? Is one better? And if so, why?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Before I started, it was bigger.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "It's a flight of stairs that leads to nowhere.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Yes. Idi Amin. Or Lord Voldemort.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Have you guys seen Hitler?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "I may have allowed my prejudices, my totally legitimate prejudices against Eagleton", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "I'm Leslie Knope. No. That's not what I want to say.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "My mouth is dry. This is Canada Dry. Drink Canada Dry if your mouth is dry.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Great. And then you can come to our wedding. Huh? What?", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben", "Wreston"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "I think one of the mannequins tried to commit suicide.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "One small pizza for all of us. With no toppings. Cheese is a topping, Jerry.", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, I'm just kidding, buddy. I'm just playing around. My name's really Andy Dwyer. I'm a security guard.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "There are several drool buckets for your more... slack-jawed citizens.", "c": ["Eagleton architect"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "We also have food troughs full of cheeseburgers and public showers with instructions for those who've never showered before.", "c": ["Eagleton architect"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, my backyard is bigger than your park.", "c": ["Eagleton architect"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "They call their boogers Pawnee caviar.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "We're gonna find out where he lives. We're gonna drive to his house. We're gonna set it on fire and watch it burn.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Thank you for saving me, Andy. Thank you, too, miss Hitler.", "c": ["Joey", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Well, Eagleton lies on top of a hot spring which creates a micro-climate zone. We are... truly blessed.", "c": ["Wreston"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Revenge! Ha ha hal This is for Pawnee, you butt-faced pompous jerk! Whoo!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "You want a carton of eggs and a loaf of bread. Yeah, just the pancake breakfast is fine.", "c": ["Waitress", "Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "You can't have Rent-A-Swag without the swag", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio Saperstein"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "A strange, passionate, goof ball of a woman. Me. He's in love with me.", "c": ["Wreston", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "A strange, passionate, goof ball of a woman. Me. He's in love with me", "c": ["Wreston St. James", "Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "40 years undercover. I never even met my family. And this is all I have to show for it? Totally worth it.", "c": ["Andy as Bert Macklin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "I basically live here now. I hate all of this, which probably means it's good for your business.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Two pizzas. And toppings! Only on half. I'm not Zuckerberg.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Pawnee Commons"}, {"t": "Merry Congratu-Christmas!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I've had a 'Ron Swanson' Google alert for seven years and it finally paid off", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Recently, I made a chair. When I was finished, I thought it was a good chair.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "It's been a real whirlwind", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "This might be the first time I've ever wanted to attend an event", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "As your self-appointed emotional guardian, it is my duty to love and support you", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "\u266a Jingle bells, jingle yay, jingle good for you \u266a", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 sushis, I barf", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "\u266a Jerry Dinner \u266a Jerry Dinner", "c": ["Tom", "April"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Every time we laugh at something stupid Jerry does, we put a dollar in this box", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "$516... Aw, jeez! And that's 517", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "518.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "It's not mean if he doesn't know about it. It's like talking about people behind their backs. Everybody wins", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "That's hilarious. You should do stand-up. If you're kidding, you suck, but if you're serious, I actually have been thinking about it", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Hey, April, Matlock called. He wants his cardigan back. Boom! I'm out", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Who's Matlock?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "This time, the giant spider got caught in my web. Progress", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "You have Leslie and I have my therapist, Dr. Richard Nygard, who I see 15 times a week", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Ron has told me so much about you, in that he has told me your name is Diane, and you exist", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Oh, it's Ulysses. I can see why he didn't tell me that", "c": ["Leslie", "Diane"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Mary, mother of God. That's Christian Becksvoort!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "What are your five biggest hopes, dreams, fears, and regrets?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "The time he slipped on a cinnabon and landed in a bunch of garbage", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "My favorite Jerry moment was when he ate a bowl of glue", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "My favorite Jerry moment is when you switched out his potato soup with glue and he didn't know", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I forgot to put on deodorant. And a jacket and one of my socks. Plus, I gotta poop, but I could stop anywhere for that", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Smart, funny, independent, and sexy? Diane Lewis? More like Diane Sawyer", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Jerry's having a Christmas party! I can't believe he didn't invite us. How dare he! What'd we ever do to him?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Remain calm, but I think you just drank some of the regular, full-fat eggnog", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "No, but it will add exactly 440 calories. But you know what? I'm fine. You only live once", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I don't know if you know this, but things with fat in them taste way better than things with no fat. Yeah, Chris-- everybody knows that", "c": ["Chris", "Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "She is at the bar right now ordering a Lagavulin, neat for you. I mean, she's even putting up with all this stupid, boring woodworking stuff. I'm sorry, but, you know, it's not the Super Bowl, guys", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Hello, you gorgeous craftsmen. Wow, look at this room. So much wood, ready to be worked", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["innuendo", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Tammy, this is Diane. Diane, this is a piece of human garbage named Tammy, who is also my ex-wife. Twice ex-wife. We were married twice. And divorced twice", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Oh, I just have a little something I need to get drilled", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["innuendo", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Shouldn't you be at the library, forcing people to borrow books? Leslie, you and I both know that the library closes at 3:00 p.m. Of course it does", "c": ["Leslie", "Tammy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "This may be the hardest challenge yet for Leslie Knope, emotional guardian. I need to protect a sweet couple from a sex-crazed demon librarian who makes me question my stance on using the 'B' word", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "What? I don't see any gingerbread cookies. I'm talking about that jacked-up, light-skinned dude. Look like Blake Griffin", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "There's a buffet-- in the house! I didn't even know you could do that!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I need a place to deliver this baby, Ann. It's coming out of me right now. I'm pregnant", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "You're so weak, really? I mean, I'm barely even doing anything. Are you iron-deficient? Let me look at your palm", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "It's because of your man strength, Man Perkins", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Sorry, guys. This is your penance. You can come in if you do something nice for Jerry.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "It's cold outside, and I can't wear mittens 'cause they're unflattering to my hands", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Merry critches, bitches!", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I'm your host, Martin Housely, and wow, it's gonna be a great show-- knock on wood", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.0, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "A guy traded me his seat for a peek and a squeeze. That's my boob and my butt, respectively", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Well, you know, they asked me if I would host this event, and I said, 'Wood I?'", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.6, "im": 3.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Gayle-- you're Gayle? Jerry's beautiful wife... Who looks like that", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Well, look who's a silver fox", "c": ["Gayle"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "My, my. Somebody's being a gloomy goose. Yeah. Relax, gloomy goose", "c": ["Gayle", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "\u266a Here we go a-caroling, among the leaves so green... \u266a", "c": ["Jerry", "Gayle", "Daughters"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Jerry Filter! Who's Jerry Filter? Unsurprisingly, Jerry sends a lot of annoying emails. So a while ago, I put a filter on all our accounts. Everything from Jerry goes directly to spam", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Congratulations on your wedding. I'm rooting for you kids. Jerry. Hope you have the best birthday, Tom. I just tied my high score in Snake", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "This award is the only one I'd ever give a damn about", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I made my first chair when I was five, but the quality of the wood was wanting, so when I turned nine, I used my factory wages to purchase some beautiful local walnut", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Uh, thank you... for this... Uh, this all good-- night good. Uh... There it is", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Man, maybe going to therapy 1,000 times a week is helping. I mean, if you'd seen that picture a month ago, you would have fallen apart. It's just a picture", "c": ["Ben", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "You're the one who's been at his side all night. You're the one who's been protecting him, you're the one who knows all the intimate details of his romantic history with that monster... so if there is a threat to my relationship with Ron, it's not Tammy. It's you", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "You're pro-government, you never stop talking, and you have blonde hair. You're my worst nightmare", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Excuse me, one man's 'worst nightmare' is every other man's 'total package'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I know that you secretly love artichokes and plums. Keep your voice down, woman!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "He was the young rafting instructor all the girls were into, and I was the young rafting instructor all the guys were into... And then we got together. Ah, so random, right?", "c": ["Millicent"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "If therapy has taught me anything, it's that I need to face my fears, even when my fears are engaged to a man with the chiseled jawline of a young me", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "So Gayle and Jerry-- I've thought about it a lot. There's no logical explanation", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I thought you weren't coming. I--you know, never got your RSVP... we took up a collection to pay your hospital bills, since you almost farted yourself to death", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I am so turned on right now. What is wrong with you?", "c": ["Tammy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I would sooner visit Europe than have something romantic happen between us. Although, if you'd like to visit Europe, I like you so much, I'd be willing to risk it. But not France, right? God, no.", "c": ["Ron", "Diane"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I would sooner visit Europe than have something romantic happen between us. Although, if you'd like to visit Europe, I like you so much, I'd be willing to risk it. But not France, right? God, no", "c": ["Ron", "Diane"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "A mighty fine holiday evening to you all. It might be cold outside, but it's about to get warm all up in my jazz", "c": ["Duke Silver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "I, of course, am Duke Silver, and I would like to dedicate this first song... To my duchess.", "c": ["Ron as Duke Silver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Hey, Ron, why don't you get me out of these handcuffs, so I can put you into these handcuffs. Yes, please officer, get her out of those cuffs. I want this to be a fair fight", "c": ["Tammy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Help", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Ron And Diane"}, {"t": "Water? Like fire water?", "c": ["Ken Hotate"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! He's funny. This guy's funny.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "But seriously. I'll have a whiskey.", "c": ["Ken Hotate"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Murder-y.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Our slots are downright filthy.", "c": ["Ken Hotate"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Why don't we retire to my longhouse and smoke the ceremonial peace pipe to celebrate?", "c": ["Ken Hotate"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Is he joking? / I don't know.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "anything that can be penis-shaped will be penis-shaped", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Which is why I'm stress-eating gummy penises.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "The game is Settlers of Catan.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm nationally ranked, so it isn't even really fair.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Is this gonna be one of those cool bachelorette parties where things get out of control and we murder someone, and then we all have to take a blood oath to never reveal our secret?", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Then I might have to leave early.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Don't you ladies look nice... For once?", "c": ["Jeremy Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I've actually always been attracted to this one.", "c": ["Jeremy Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Start drooling, fatties", "c": ["Jeremy Jamm"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Their burgers will kill you! They're full of wasps!", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Yeah, but they taste real good.", "c": ["Unknown citizen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I'm still technically married, but my wife knows the deal.", "c": ["Jeremy Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Seven contiguous segments, giving me longest road and a sweet-ass ten points for the win.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I know you said no strippers 'cause they make you sad.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Son, there's no wrong way to consume alcohol.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I ordered a beer. / That is a beer.", "c": ["Ben Wyatt", "Bartender"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "This is the wrong way to consume alcohol.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "It's a whiskey-infused lotion.", "c": ["Bartender"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Can I ask if this entire establishment is a practical joke of some kind?", "c": ["Ben Wyatt"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "they have a vodka that's served in the form of a flash of light", "c": ["Bartender"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I have a penis on my head.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "This is why I prefer nightmares.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Oh, this is bad. I should not have done this.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't Babe Lincoln!", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Emancipate them abs.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I know for a fact this is a sex dream you've had.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Looks like it's time for the Gettysburg undressed!", "c": ["Glenn/Lincoln stripper"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I sat behind you in middle school band. Do you still play the clarinet?", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "No, it was a green card wedding.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I didn't even have time to take a shower before my wedding. Or after. For, like, a week and a half.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Tammy Two thwarted me by calling in a bomb threat to the steakhouse.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Boop! That's me hitting the snooze button. Don't talk again for another ten minutes.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "and to my bride, Rihanna.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Shut up, Glenn.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Use the penises.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "She was slender. Blonde hair, big breasts, long legs. Ugh, not my type at all.", "c": ["Jerry Gergich"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Was she ill, or did your father witness her father committing a crime? Or was she temporarily blind--", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "No worries, Gary.", "c": ["Sherm"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I always make a backup cone. He drops it about half the time.", "c": ["Sherm"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I want to see the Colts beat the Patriots 49 to nothing, then I yell at Tom Brady and make him cry, then I hook up with Dave Matthews, and we play golden tee for ten hours.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I'm dead. I am dead. And this is what heaven is like. I knew it.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I can't tell if you're joking, but I hope you're not.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I got married in your jersey. That's no joke.", "c": ["Andy Dwyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "That's weird. But I respect that.", "c": ["Reggie Wayne"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Donna just ripped off a stripper's underwear with her teeth.", "c": ["Ann Perkins"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Can I take a break? My hands are tired.", "c": ["Glenn"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Gingrich, Gergich. I wonder if we're related.", "c": ["Jerry Gergich"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "You'd be surprised.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I like her. Whoa! Wow!", "c": ["Ron", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I like her.", "c": ["Ron Swanson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "you can make wine in your toilet and fight people, which is a super-cool way to live.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Japanese, Muslim, Jewish, none of those weird countries.", "c": ["Construction worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I also found some weird-looking gummy candy.", "c": ["Worker"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "You have turned into a very beautiful, wise, and fertile government employee.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Don't try to bond with me.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Dance or smell like a native American.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I wanted to raise the bar of awfulness so that when I confess something to you, you have perspective.", "c": ["Leslie Knope"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Full disclosure-- I voted for Ryan Gosling, but you came in a close second.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Maybe it's April. Maybe I die. Skydiving explosion. Pbbbt.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "In a cave. Training.", "c": ["Tom Haverford"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "He really plays white people like a fiddle.", "c": ["April Ludgate"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Why, yes, I-- I thought that was obvious.", "c": ["Ken Hotate"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "In the spirit of fair play, I suggest we put on these authentic Wamapoke headdresses and dance around the table.", "c": ["Ken Hotate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "Does it, white man?", "c": ["Ken Hotate"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "I have thousands of seconds.", "c": ["Chris Traeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Two Parties"}, {"t": "How old is that handkerchief? Well, it's not a handkerchief. It's a receipt.", "c": ["Leslie", "Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I'm not allowed to reserve this conference room without my husband or father's signature.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "wore mirrors on their shoes to look up my skirt", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "except for Councilman Dexhart, who's a self-described pervert", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "All the other councilmen used to keep a calendar of my menstrual cycle.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Admittedly, they were right. Because of the calendar.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I think men are better than women.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Leslie, you'll never land a beau with that domineering tone.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "We must always walk behind the men. Sheugh.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Moustache! Dumb-dumb!", "c": ["Zoe", "Ivy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I borrowed some markers from Leslie and some stickers from Leslie and a Lite-Brite which I got from Andy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Hey, dudettes. You stoked about the weekend?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Oh, look at this pwetty, pwetty wittle beads.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "They're not infants.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "So you guys like Coldplay?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "You're weird.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Recently, we engaged in something called a 'group hang.'", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "'Warning: Toxic bleach' is a good label.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Shauna Malwae-Tweep has amazing dimples.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I know this text you sent me was a lie and Michael Stipe is not actually here, correct?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I just couldn't live with myself if it had been true.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I can't keep referring to basketball players as 'Khloe Kardashian's husband and his friends.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "My only plan was to buy Skittles.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Your gender equality commission is a real sausage fest.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Oh, there's a lady right next to you. Oh, wait, no. It's just a very beautiful man.", "c": ["Councilman Milton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Round of applause for the girl. She has to leave to get more snacks.", "c": ["Councilman Milton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "It's not the 7th yet.", "c": ["Councilman Milton"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Your shoes are red now.", "c": ["Zoe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Of course. I'd be delighted.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I believe one problem with hiring women is that they're frail and breakable.", "c": ["Councilman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "You have one woman, and she's a secretary. And she's the best secretary we got, except for Dan.", "c": ["Steve", "Other guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "they are the smelly glue that keeps this city together", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "You ever found a dead body in the trash? Or body parts? Like, a torso or a head? Please say head.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "'Pick up garbage. Put in truck'?", "c": ["Dewey"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "You seem more like a Hanson.", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "they're playing with my land mine.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "you'd think our boobs would get in the way.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Google Earth... Always taking pics.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "It's not fair. I feel like everyone should be the same size.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Did I do basketball? Kind of.", "c": ["Tom", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Did I do basketball?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "But it was actually a blood-hungry witch who was wearing their mom's face like a mask!", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Sorry. I thought kids liked ghost stories.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I knew that wench wasn't naturally blonde.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "She has to use prescription-strength deodorant.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "This is the best day of my life.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "And some privacy to violate! Yeah! Whoo! Wait, no.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "This could really only go poorly.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I told you you can pivot, not that you can only pivot.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "You suck at basketball, man.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Well, you suck at being polite, sir.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Stand back, ladies! Ron, no, no, no, no! That's dangerous!", "c": ["Ron", "Ann"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Her hair is infected.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "That's the covergirl slogan. I didn't mean to say that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "What, you think Joan of Arc needed a hand?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I don't know why I thought sneaking up on it would work.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Did you just say you love Diane?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "For God's sake, Hanson, will you please focus on the larger problem?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Ron loves Mommy!", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Ron loves Mommy! Ron loves Mommy! I love nothing!", "c": ["Kids", "Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I love nothing!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "my sister, a few people from work, and my ex-boyfriend.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Maybe we should just eat the refrigerator.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Are you a ghost? Yes, we are. Why you think you can lift it? You are two little canaries.", "c": ["Orin", "Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "So if bears can't lift the-- No, I understand animal sizes.", "c": ["Bakery owner", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Look, all we have to do is get some PCP. You can move anything on angel dust.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Can I borrow $1,500? You're not allowed to ask what it's for. Fireworks.", "c": ["Tom", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Once, Zoe put Ivy in the dryer, so...", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "And it's trash. It's filled with trash.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "Now, that's basketball.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Women In Garbage"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get 12 eggs and part of a dead animal. Dealer's choice. Please and thank you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Well, instead of getting swept up in my boyfriends' personalities, I am dating myself and trying new things. So every time I go out to eat, I order one thing that's typical me and then something that I would never order. Now I have two best friends, Ann and Ann. Each one more beautiful than the other.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Which Ann is screaming like a maniac? Oatmeal Ann or catfish Ann? I'm not sure, because I instantly blacked out from extreme terror.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Yeah, we'll do a double date: You and you, and me and Ben.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "you are so brilliant and kind and stupid hot", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Ann is giving up on love and deciding to have a baby with herself. And she has only been dating herself for six weeks. If she were dating a guy for six weeks, and they decided to have a kid, I'd be like, 'Congratulations, Ann...And Channing Tatum.' Because that is the only scenario that would make sense to me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "What a gorgeous herbaceous medley. There's been a mistake. You've accidentally given me the food that my food eats.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Is a gerbil marrying a rabbit?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Tom considers himself a foodie, which apparently means taking instagrams of food instead of eating it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Caterer number one's presentation was simple, mm, yet exhausting. Number two's was subtle and provocative, like a coy Dutch woman guarding a dark secret.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "But number three's told a story-- a story from a book I wouldn't read but I would watch the movie of.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Oh, the mini-calzone? I wouldn't call it that. It was more like a savory pastry. Delicate little dough pocket filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation. It was a calzone. It was literally just a small calzone.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "No. Tragically, we are both heterosexual.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Some sperm. I meant in terms of a donor? Oh, you know, nice guy... Nice sperm.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Oh! This guy went to Harvard! So did the Unabomber.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "This guys seems healthy. Loves cycling. Yeah, so did Lance Armstrong, and he turned out to be a lying drug user. Or a hero. I don't know where we stand on him now.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "He is the gentleman who was fired for emailing a picture of his penis to every woman in city hall. Guilty. Yeah, that's what the judge said.", "c": ["Leslie", "Joe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Free money, free porn. Best job I ever had. Also... If you're looking to buy some weed, I'm looking as well.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.36, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Babe, you look super hot. You realize you've said that about all of them? Well, she has, every single time. 'Cause she is super hot. Honestly, you'd look hot naked.", "c": ["Ben", "April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Ugh. This suit makes me want to scold a Catholic child.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "I don't know who Ann Taylor is, but I hate her and I want to kill her.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "She had the patch sewn in. You can't remove it. What's in the pocket, you ask? A ticket stub from a Fleetwood Mac concert in 1995", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "So tomorrow, I lead a public forum in Leslie's Fleetwood Mac sex pants. Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants. New band name. I call it. Ooh, you know what? Maybe just Fleetwood Mac.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants. New band name. I call it. Ooh, you know what? Maybe just Fleetwood Mac.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Um, you don't want a demon baby.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "his favorite season of Friends, whether or not he hates jazz-- hopefully, he does", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "I fully believe that a woman should be in charge of what happens to her body. In this case, the body is Ann's, and the woman in charge of it is me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "I don't mind the knuckle hair. I just think he's a dick.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Small office. Mine's way bigger. The seats in my office are leather.", "c": ["Dr. Harris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Guy's got a spinal fracture. He's not going anywhere.", "c": ["Dr. Harris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Chris? I'm dying. I was dying earlier today. And then I died. Now I'm dead. I had to cancel a date with Shauna Malwae-Tweep. And I really like her. Do you think she'll still like me now that I'm dead?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "I have voided more than Tom's body weight in the last 12 hours alone.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "As Eleanor Roosevelt once said to Betty Ford... 'Hillary Clinton is great.'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Friendship bands that I've made for each and every one of you. So now, I guess we're Park Pals. You should see the booger under this chair.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "When will women in this town stop scheming to get my sperm?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "That son of a bitch is astute.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "I know it's a winter's morn, but it feels like a summer's eve, 'cause 'the douche' is in the building.", "c": ["Howard/The Douche"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Oh, whoa! Smells like some vomit took a dump in here.", "c": ["Howard/Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "I didn't eat those stupid mini-calzones. Haver-food rule number six-- never eat anything with a sauce I have to dip myself. Drizzle it on for me. I'm not your maid.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "The calzones... betrayed me? Never again, guys. As God as my witness, they're dead to me.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "I'm afraid this park will raise my taxes. Ah, well, fear not. Between the normal Parks budget and our corporate partners-- I'm also afraid the park will be noisy. And full of spiders. And dark at nighttime. I'm scared of a lot of stuff.", "c": ["Citizen", "April", "Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Is this gonna be a topless park? I don't think there are topless parks. Well, let's build the first one and be heroes.", "c": ["Harris", "April", "Harris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Topless park. Topless park! Topless park! Topless park!", "c": ["Multiple citizens"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Actually, a farting immigrant segment would be really funny. Ay dios... Good looking out, Leslie.", "c": ["Howard", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "I'm gonna scan a quick pic of them boobies for a little deposit in 'El banco de spanko.' That was the douche talking. Douche nation.", "c": ["Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "You know, if we had a little girl, I would name her Elizabeth, after my grandmother. She was this strong, amazing woman. And if we had a boy, I don't know, I'd name him something funny, like 'Dick' or 'O. J.'", "c": ["Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "My God. I have driven Ann right into the belly of the douche.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "So, Crazy Ira, remember that chick Ann I used to... Yeah, she was smoking hot! Turns out, she wants to have my baby. Anyway, her lesbo friend tells me she's on the prowl for some baby beans... And it's down to me and some other turd-munchers.", "c": ["Howard on radio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no. I just wanted to toss my name into the ring, in respect to this Indian woman's vagina.", "c": ["Councilman Milton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "I just wanted to toss my name into the ring, in respect to this Indian woman's vagina.", "c": ["Councilman Milton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Um, crappy. We only got four signatures. Two of them were me and Andy, and one of them said 'Farts McCool.'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Thanks, JJ. You're the best.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "'Me so horny.' That was not me. That was a farcical sound effect. Did she say 'fartsicle'? The fartsicle. Frozen farts you can eat. Put it in your face-mouth! It's cold and it smells.", "c": ["Leslie", "Radio show"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "We, uh, got an update on 'Operation... Baby douche.'", "c": ["The Douche"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Okay, I will stop talking about your friend if you get in that Jell-o for one second and say, 'Rudy.' 'Cause The Cosby Show. Classic.", "c": ["Howard", "Crazy Ira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Rudy. There, happy? No, say it like Bill Cosby. Rudy.", "c": ["Leslie", "Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "This bag is full of Fruit Roll-Ups and baseball cards. I don't have my Leslie pantsuit or my Leslie headband or my Leslie notes. I can't do this meeting without my Leslie stuff.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "I didn't ask for a math lesson. So why don't you just tell me how much it's gonna cost me? And don't use numbers.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Look, you won't have to pay any extra money, okay? And don't ever call me 'ma'am' again.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Nobody wants your creepy stoner eyes staring at them while they're enjoying a park, okay? Stop being gross.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Shut me down! You scare me, and I gotta say, I kinda dig that.", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "But I think you do need to take a little bit more time with this decision. Maybe employ a more methodical approach. One that involves color-coded binders.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Is that a drawing of my reproductive system saying 'Let's do this'? The Knope way involves a lot of uterine cartoons. What can I tell you? Besides, what is more cuter-us than your uterus?", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Is that a drawing of my reproductive system saying 'Let's do this'? The Knope way involves a lot of uterine cartoons. Besides, what is more cuter-us than your uterus?", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Let's make a baby together. You should phrase that differently.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "She was awesome. So smart, so hot, so mean. I wanted to bone her right there in that dirty church basement.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "That's mine. I wanted that back. Well, frankly, you should have thought of that before we burned it.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "Uh, we are burning this awful pantsuit. That's mine. I wanted that back. Well, frankly, you should have thought of that before we burned it.", "c": ["April", "Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Anns Decision"}, {"t": "\"Dynamite\" stands for daring, youth-friendly, natural, amazing, merry, inviting, tourist attraction-y, and eco-friendly.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Let the record show there was a standing ovation. / No, there wasn't. / There was not. / History will decide.", "c": ["Jamm", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "We make money. They make money. They make burgers. We eat burgers. That's a win-win-win-win.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Presentation over. Jamm out.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Paunch Burger's number-one-selling burger is the greasy lard bomb.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Love fades away. But things... Things are forever.", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "That's beautiful. Did the Dalai Lama say that?", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Ooh! A citrus reamer! Oh, this is the only way to ream citrus. You're gonna need two of these.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "people could bid to put their names on everything in the park, like benches, cobblestones, trees, ants, air", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I'm really feeling these sheets--very cozy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Well, if I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I'm omelet. Get it? \"I'm on it,\" \"I'm omelet\"? / I get it, and I love it, but I don't have time for food puns right now. / Okay, I'm heading out. Good-pie. / Go. / Gurt. Go-gurt. I'm incredible.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Good-pie.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Gayle. My girls!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Oh, this is just a drill, but I am having so much fun pretending it's real.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Every time it so much as drizzles in Pawnee, the town is in danger of collapsing into Thunderdome-style, post-apocalyptic mayhem.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Should someone stop Jerry? / Gayle! / Eh, he'll figure it out eventually.", "c": ["Ben", "Jerry", "Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "people always say, \"But he's got a great personality.\"", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I picture 35 a-salt shakers and 42 batteries.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I picture 533 salt shakers and batteries lighting a building on fire.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "And if you don't, I'll just divorce you and marry someone else and then cheat on them with you.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I found a dead rabbit on the side of the road, and I cut its feet off and made it into a lucky charm.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Baby, you are so creepy. Thank you. I love it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "My mother is getting a colonoscopy today. I'm not even sure there's anyone there to drive her home, so we're all making sacrifices, Ms. Knope. / Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. / Mm, we're not that close. / Oh. Good.", "c": ["Leonard", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Went past the zero. I got to wait till it goes... Okay, now.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Nope, can't fly away. This is real life.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Yes! Avian flu! Jackpot. This is a simple one, guys.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "\"Mission Im-Pawnee-able: Knope Protocol.\"", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Hello, my name is Donatella Breckinridge, M.D. I graduated first in my class from Harvard Medical School, so I know what I'm talking about. This is the avian flu, or we call \"H5N1.\"", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Great leadership-- inspiring.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Fair point. I did cry last time.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I'm from Orlando. And I don't care about the Paunch Burger. If it was another French restaurant, maybe I'd worry.", "c": ["Chef"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "What you got for me? Get out of my kitchen! / Okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. Pardon! Pardon!", "c": ["Chef", "Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Pardon! Pardon!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Right. So how do I kill 'em-- like, with a gun? / No. / I could fill up a bathtub and just drown 'em one at a time.", "c": ["Brett", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Kill all birds. This is for the drill, right? Yes. But I'm actually gonna kill these birds for real? No. Just pretend.", "c": ["Brett", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Okay, let's forget we ever talked. / Got it. Kill 'em.", "c": ["Leslie", "Brett"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Not so fast. I regret to inform you that someone in this room has begun exhibiting symptoms-- Christopher Traeger.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "A few months ago, the thought of an infectious disease, even hypothetical, would have sent me careening towards Bummerville, but now I am infected with a killer virus, and I feel fine. Therapy!", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "That is impossible. I do not ride the bus. I ride my bicycle behind the bus as a windbreak.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I should've had animal control kill you. / Oh, who you want me to kill? / No one. / I'll kill him... As soon as I'm done with these birds.", "c": ["Leslie", "Brett", "Leslie", "Brett"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Yeah, listen, I'm a little under the weather. I went on a booze cruise last week. It just finished up an hour ago.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "On a completely unrelated note, I have horrible allergies.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Today's show will not go on.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Hey, Joan, settle a bet for me. Who's the sexiest couple in history? R-Patz and K-Stew, or Bieber--", "c": ["Caller"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "We don't know where Jerry is.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I don't know how to answer that. / A simple \"yes\" or \"no.\" / Well, everyone calls me Andy, but my full name is Andrew, I think, so... No? / Wait. Yes.", "c": ["Andy", "Examiner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Yes, I give it to him. When I was a kid, I always wanted to hold a cop's gun. To make that dream come true for another kid-- Well, that's what being a cop is all about.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Well, first, I would be like, \"Dad... You're alive? What the hell? Also, do you know where my catcher's mitt is?\"", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "She has a bad hangover, which she is pretending is allergies.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Wouldn't know-- never been hungover. After I've had too much whiskey, I cook myself a large flank steak, pan-fried in salted butter. I eat that, put on a pair of wet socks, and go to sleep.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "\"I, Chris Traeger, after several sustained hours of diarrhea, combined with violent coughing and a devastating fever, followed by even more diarrhea, have succumbed to the avian flu.\" I'm dead.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Woodworking, uh, novels about tall ships, meat, that sort of thing.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Oh, really? Specifically asked that the drill to be done today and said I should give you everything I got.", "c": ["Leonard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "It is with a heavy heart that I say, \"We have been jammed.\"", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "In order to save our park... We have to destroy the entire town.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Great. Why don't you tell the hospital director to flush them down the toilet.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Chief Fugleberg, I want you to order your officers to find all the infected birds in the area and perform CPR.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Oh, no! Pawnee has been hit with... A tornado quake!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Take a walnut and rub it into the legs of your table. That'll mask the scratches. Next thing you want to do is ditch the Terrier and get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Banks are Ponzi schemes run by morons.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Whatever happened to, \"Hey, I have some apples. Would you like to buy them?\" \"Yes, thank you.\" That's as complicated as it should be to open a business in this country.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I've seen three movies in my life-- Bridge on the River Kwai, Patton, and Herbie Fully Loaded. My girlfriend's kids love it. It's pretty funny.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Everyone in Pawnee is dead. Including Councilman Jamm. / What? No, no, you can't do that. It says right there, you're dead, so is everyone you care about. / Oh, well, joke's on you. I don't have anyone I care about.", "c": ["Leonard", "Jamm"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I can't hear you. I'm a ghost. / Yeah, well, so am I, so you can hear me! Ghost jammed!", "c": ["Leslie", "Jamm"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "We got all the way to Muncie before we realized that it was just a drill. / I mean, all I'm saying is you could've called. / No one had your cell number, Big \"J.\"", "c": ["Jerry", "Donna"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I had a classic stroke of Haverford genius. Who has the most to lose from a new Paunch Burger? Their competitors.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I had a classic stroke of Haverford genius. Who has the most to lose from a new Paunch Burger? Their competitors.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "I also helped a child perform a tracheotomy on his elderly uncle. It's been a very rewarding day.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "And thanks for dressing up, Jerry.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "He got 100% on his written test-- first guy in history to do it-- but he failed his personality examination.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Official police wrist lock. You can't hit me. Try to hit me. Or here, no, try-- it's this hand. Wrist lock. Boom, too much pain, you can't even hit me. Try to hit me. If I had my gun, you wouldn't try to hit me, though, is the thing.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Have you ever thought of being a sperm donor? / I'm impotent. / Yeah, I don't need to know that.", "c": ["Chris", "Leonard"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Have you ever thought of being a sperm donor? I'm impotent. Yeah, I don't need to know that.", "c": ["Leonard", "Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Let's get married... Tonight.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "the earthquake registered an 8.5 on the Richter scale. That's correct. It was a large one.", "c": ["Isabella Winchester"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Emergency Response"}, {"t": "Let's get married. Tonight.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "And your parents aren't here. - Good. Yeah, that makes it better.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "And we just ordered 200 white-chocolate top hats. - We did? - You did, actually.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "or July 57th", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "You're either in or your out, buddy. It was my idea, I'm totally in.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "We can't look at each other! Well, you are aware that we've seen each other several times today.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I really want you to take my last name... that Leslie Knope disappears and becomes Leslie Wyatt. Or Councilwoman Mrs. Ben Wyatt.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Wait, are you messing with me? - Sorry, I had to give it a shot.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Wait. Where do I go? Run!", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "The falcon is entering! The turtledove acknowledges!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "the sensuality of Eleanor Roosevelt combined with the animal magnetism of Lesley Stahl", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I feel like every crazy thing Leslie's ever had me do has been, like a drill, and today is the real thing. I'm ready, because I had the greatest teacher in the world. Leslie. Who is crazy.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "That guy's my wife. - Um, you also work there.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "It would be an honor, and the first time I won't regret walking down the aisle.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Do you want more like a Steve Harvey vibe or straight-up Seacrest? Never mind. I'll combine 'em-- Steve-crest.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "There is some beautiful jewelry in here. But be careful. There's also nails.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "And they were nipple rings, at one point. How do you know that? They were his.", "c": ["Store clerk", "April", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I guess I better commit as many crimes as possible tonight. Get it out of my system.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I don't want anyone else in this town to get married, because it makes it less special for us.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "If you're not gonna finish something three months early, then don't accept the job.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Now how did Cinderella finish her dress so fast? - Squirrels and birds. - That's not very helpful.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I forge government documents all the time. - That's true.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "No time for verbs.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I should point out that you said 'duty' twice.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "There's a Li'l Sebastian look-alike on the way-- what? What? Oh, my G-- Oh! Oh.", "c": ["Donna", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Did you just pee your pants? Just a dab. You nasty, Jerry. Third time this week.", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry", "Donna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Your Minister Certification will be emailed to you in 24 hours. But this is America. I want it now!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I had all these great bits written for the wedding too. I was gonna beatbox. There's a dance breakdown. I'm talking, like, six guaranteed applause breaks.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "We open with Will Smith's monologue from the modern cinematic classic... Hitch.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "- Turtledove. - There's your butt.", "c": ["Ben", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "No rings, just a tennis bracelet and a necklace that says 'Wine Chick.'", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Li'l Sebastian? No, no, sorry. Actually, this is Bucky. He's a, uh, licensed Li'l Sebastian impersonator.", "c": ["Horse handler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "This is Li'l Sebastian, and this is a sign. We're gonna do this.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "There's always time. Designers, make it work.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "It's after 10:00. I've been asleep for four hours.", "c": ["Ethel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I'm not married. I was on a date tonight. It went well, he's sleeping over.", "c": ["Ethel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "You have got an amazing house and a really cool nightgown and seem to be super good at dating.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "It's a toe ring with a brown gemstone? Is this a ruby that's gone bad?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "How much do you think Ann would miss this sconce?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "You ever heard Leslie talk about Ben's butt? I'm all like, 'damn, girl, you mad sweet on that back meat.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Parks are stu-pid.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Hey, butter-teeth, what's up? I can fix those chompers for you. Just come to Jamm Orthodontics.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Terrible. And perfect.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "It is the letter from the statehouse... We were supposed to be here eight weeks. I'm so happy that those eight weeks turned into three years, and that you met Leslie, and that we both found a home.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "It is like the Ann Perkins of dresses.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I'm not supposed to see you before the wedding. - No, that's the groom - I ruined it!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "\u266a Here comes the boo \u266a \u266a All dressed in boo \u266a \u266a Boo, Leslie Knope \u266a", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Amazon, baby, that's how. You are looking at a prime customer, everybody. Two days free shipping for this guy.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Well, good thing you're an orthodontist.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I lost my father when I was ten, I don't have any brothers, and Ken Burns never wrote me back. So I am not getting married without you there to walk me down the aisle.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "He chopped off both of his arms, so he wouldn't leave any fingerprints. Oh, he did? Well, how did he murder the person?", "c": ["Andy", "Chief"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I got five bathrooms.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I love the first floor of City Hall at night. When all the fluorescents are half-off. Just makes the informational fliers look so beautiful.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Jerry, everything I wrote is wrong. There's, like, 20 minutes of Hitch quotes before I even say Leslie's name. What do I do? You know what, Tom? Just speak from the heart, okay?", "c": ["Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "I lived in villages with eight people", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "this whole time, I was just wandering around, everywhere, just looking for you.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "the first draft of my vows, which I wrote the day after we got engaged, clocked in at around 70 pages.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "You're all I need. I love you and I like you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Close only counts in horse grenades. It's a saying. Because if you're playing horseshoes, and then you throw a grenade at a horse, it doesn't have to be that close, and you can still blow the horse's legs off. It's from the movie Seabiscuit.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Chris can be very... Paternal.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "\u266a You trade your legs for angel's wings \u266a", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "Any moron with a crucible, an acetylene torch, and a cast-iron waffle maker could have done the same. Whole thing only took me about 20 minutes. People who buy things are suckers.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Leslie And Ben"}, {"t": "We saw the bus stop where a young Barack Obama used to sit and wait for the bus. - Theoretically. - It's possible.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Then we went and visited Honolulu City Hall... Well, it looked amazing, but it was closed.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Well, the busboy at our restaurant told us about a guy who we met in a parking lot, and then he had a backpack full of this stuff, and I'm just realizing now that it's not tea.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Ron, this is the Hawaiian god of anger. It reminded us of you when you're at work. - A handsome gentleman.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "We got Jerry some earbuds, and a bag of peanuts, and the Skymall catalog. - Same thing you got me from your trip to Washington!", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Tom, we got you an autographed portrait of your personal hero. No way! Scott Caan from Hawaii five-0!", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "April, as requested, we threw that box you gave us into that volcano. - Thank you.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Andy, as you requested, got you a three-pack of white T-shirts from Target. - Thank you. All mine are dirty.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Some people say that it's a useless tabloid. But I don't think it's useless. I think it's great for housebreaking puppies.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "364 days a year, they rake me over the coals. Today, I take those burning coals, I shove them back down their throats, and I watch their melting flesh drip off their worthless faces! It's all in good fun.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "The government in this town is excellent and uses your tax dollars efficiently. - That's not really a joke, Ron. - I disagree. I find it hilarious.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Ann Perkins! - Hey, Chris! Got to run to a meeting. With Ron. - Great idea! I'll run to my next meeting.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Sorry, the door was open. I wish this office had only walls.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Turns out they don't make greeting cards for asking your ex-boyfriend if he will artificially inseminate you.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "I want my friend to do something for me, and I don't know how to ask him. What do you want him to do? Plant ficuses. In my front yard.", "c": ["Ann", "Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Grossest metaphor ever. I've seen your house. You'd have more success if he planted ficuses in your backyard.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Then plant the damn ficuses yourself. - I wish that were possible.", "c": ["Ron", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Ah, yes. My late husband. He was so decrepit.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Running the new Sweetums Foundation charity allows me to do that and work in an office with more mahogany wood than currently remains in the Amazon rain forest. So, win-win. Except for the rain forest.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Yeah, there's even a rumor going around that the chocolate is made of rat parts. Well... You know what they say about rumors. - Yeah. - They're mostly true.", "c": ["Ben", "Jessica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Including the rat thing? - Yeah. What are you gonna do? It's where all the flavor comes from.", "c": ["Ben", "Jessica"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Oh, would you look at that. There is a smudge on my tail. Oh! All better.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "But, if you ask me, we should be making fun of the food. 'I am not the cook.'", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Do you happen to have a can opener? 'Cause I'm about to open this on you. Did you make that can of 'whoop ass' for this exact moment? Yeah, I came prepared.", "c": ["Leslie", "Kim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Uh, my speech doesn't need your luck. It needs a Surgeon General's warning because it's so harmful to your health. Oh, look, it has one.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Shauna Malwae-Tweep, my ex-girlfriend. It seems like you and I have a classic mix 'em up.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "You came down here to pass on helping me? Yeah, I wanted to see what your face looked like when I said no. It was totally worth it.", "c": ["Ben", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm fine. It's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired. Also, I can't sleep, I'm overeating, none of my old hobbies interest me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "He's always sad and sweaty. He's usually happy and sweaty.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Well, it sounds like you guys got it covered. I'm gonna head out. Actually have my own charity to attend to. Tommy's tummy foundation.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Damn it. That was my opener. Oh my god, those are my jokes. She's stealing my jokes.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Oh! I just opened up a can of 'whoop ass' on myself!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "I remember the very first Correspondents' Lunch. I rode here in a horse and buggy. No, no, no, that wasn't a joke. I actually did. That also was not a joke.", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Go stand in the corner and think about what you've done. And no dessert!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "So, like, maybe there's something there, where, like, he went to school with his high-school buddies that were dinosaurs. And his tie is green. They're green.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 4.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Oh, Ann, you're too beautiful to be funny. It's not your fault. You've never had to compensate for anything.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "And the streets, as you know, are dangerous. Example--I fell in a sewer grate once. I was there all day. In conclusion, we cannot let our children live in the sewer any longer.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "It's called the Clean Sheet Foundation. They provide legal assistance to the KKK. This is your pick? Yeah. Can you pass the bonbons?", "c": ["Tom", "Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Perd Hapley is here today. Or, as Perd would say, 'My name is Perd Hapley, and the person I see here today... is me.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Do you see what is happening with Chris and Shauna? They are flirting like crazy. It's disgusting. They're in public. - That's called a conversation.", "c": ["Ann", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Ron, there are no ficuses, okay? I wanted to ask Chris to be the father of my baby. - Good God.", "c": ["Ann", "Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Someone fucking tell me what Neve Campbell sounds like.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "'Strap on your adult diapers, everyone. Because you're about to wet yourself from laughter. Give it up for Leslie Knope.'", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "'Whassup,' Pawnee? Um... Borat. Well, that's my time. They're giving me the light. So, uh, I did great.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Tom, do you have to run that right now? Oh, no, Ben! These smoothies will just blend themselves!", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Ambulances are dumb. When has an ambulance ever helped anyone?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Well, I'm terribly disappointed. But I'm sure the doctors or giraffes or whatever you decided to help will be thrilled with the whatever you decided to whatever.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "'Chris-toe-fur.' It's like you have furry toes. Hilarious.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Jaguar. Why do you ask? - Doin' a survey. Well, survey completed.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "I want to have a baby. Will you be the sperm donor? The story of this situation is it's extremely personal.", "c": ["Ann", "Perd"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "The Pawnee Sun has been one step ahead of me for months... The Pawnee Sun hacked my email. I've been hacked!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Okay, smashing your phone won't stop hacking. That's also my phone.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "There is nothing more disgusting than an invasion of privacy. And I should know. I've had many women steal my undershirts.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "You can't hack into a typewriter. That's all I have to say.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Well, let me tell you something else that's interesting, Ben. What? I farted five minutes ago. Didn't even smell it till just now. That's how tight my pants are.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "There's a 'Top Ten Ben's butt 2012 slide show.' You emailed it to Ben and Ann... And The Huffington Post?", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "You wrote him an email about riding your dragons to Pelennor Fields and signed it 'Dimple Broadbelt of Buckland.' Yes, that's Ben and my fantasy Lord Of The Rings pen pal letters.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "You are a great specimen. That's a terrible choice of words.", "c": ["Chris", "Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Take as much time as you want. Or just maybe, like, a couple days. 'Cause I'm getting antsy. And I'm ovulating on Thursday. So, chop-chop. But take your time. Wear loose pants!", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "I gotta tell you, Ron. You were absolutely and totally right. I know. Stop talking and get out.", "c": ["Ann", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Midi-chlorians are a fictional substance found in the blood of Jedi knights from the movie Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. Which, side-note, was a terrible movie.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "I have never seen Star Wars, because I was too busy hooking up with guys. Unlike you losers.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Uh, you wanna compare numbers, Terlando?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "You know who else is excited to be here? Neve Campbell. What a great party... of five.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "Then who is it? Well, he is, uh, sitting right here in this courtyard. That guy? Do you even know him? Oh, my God, Andy, it's you.", "c": ["Tom", "Ben", "April"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Correspondents Lunch"}, {"t": "These kids are renting my old clothes like they're going out of style. Which they never will.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Oh, 'day-yay-yam,' it is kind of a sausage party in here. For the record, would hit it, would hit, would hit.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "\u266a Oh, yeah she's my sister. My twin sister, from the same mister.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "\u266a The wo-o-orst. She is the worst person in the world. Huge skank. Terrible. But thank you. It means a lot.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "So if you say no, I will start a fire in the bathroom.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "\u266a The wo-o-o-orst. She's the worst in the world.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "I could do, uh, Shoah. Okay, Paths Of Glory it is.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Which is why I give E.T. 1 1/2 stars.", "c": ["Perd Hapley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "What's everybody-- where are we?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Why would I do that? All movies are online for free. I'm watching Iron Man 2 on my phone right now.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "But if you want a film about the ocean, we have a documentary about the brutality of Japan's whaling industry. It's called Tears Of My Blowhole. And it's--it's nauseating.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Oh, we only have Japanese slime candy and, um, Bulgarian wheat balls.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "All these kids have fathers and mothers who have birthed them and are guiding them through life. Yep, that's how it works.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I'm going to do.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Why don't you make Tom your sack of flour, see how it feels to parent him a little?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "100%. She's a total klepto. And nympho and pyro-- all those things.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Ben, that is literally the greatest idea in human history.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "I heard 'sack of flour' and 'high school.' Are you dingdongs making fake drugs for sophomores? Because if true, this guy wants in.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Good morning, April. What's your secret? I'm thinking about applying to veterinary school in Bloomington. Oh, my God, April, that's great!", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "- as a janitor... - Nurse.", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Because you hooked up with him? I don't hook up with everyone I know. Although, yes, we did hook up.", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "No, you have to be my friend. No, that is so much worse.", "c": ["Ann", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Because you hooked up with him? I don't hook up with everyone I know. Although, yes, we did hook up.", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Anything can be a slam poem if you say it like this. It's pointless.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "This man is a failure. He is not up to snuff. His business is failing, and you're bailing it out. This is a bailout, and I don't like it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "I once saw her punch a police horse in the face.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "You're a smart, successful young man with an adorable, little belly.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "And if she murders me, tell Jean-Ralphio to clear my browser history.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "That would be like giving food to a mortally wounded animal instead of slitting its throat and properly utilizing its meat and pelt.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Please stop talking about wounded meat.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "I haven't rented it, actually, yet. But I like the idea that there is a place where I could rent Rashomon.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "You are so freaking sexy right now, I could crap my pants.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Yao Ming's torso, Napoleon's brain, and The Hunchback of Notre Dame's hunchback.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "I'm kind of just fracking for friendship.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "I was on food stamps. I was on Welfare. And nobody ever helped me.", "c": ["Wilson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "We started making out. Hard. Next thing you know, we're back at my place, having sex. We're together now.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Hey, bitch, I need to borrow some money to do something that is none of your damn beeswax, namely, I need to wax my bee.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Hey, bitch, I need to borrow some money to do something that is none of your damn beeswax, namely, I need to wax my bee.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "These braids you did are making my brain hurt.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "No, anything you can say to Ann, you can say to me because we're best friends this week.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Hey, let's go put on our pj's and make White Russians. So fun.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "You have made us porn peddlers!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "You have made us porn peddlers!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "So I'm thrilled to tell you that I'm playing Leslie Knope in the porn version of the story of this government bailout!", "c": ["Brandi Maxxxx"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "This never happened.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Much less a bran muffin, which is the highest honor that flour can achieve.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, guys. I--no one ever lets me talk this long. I just got lost.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "I know what I'm about, son.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "These will not be necessary.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "A baby-naming book. I hope it works out with Chris. And if it doesn't, I hope it works out with someone.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Well, I guess your uter-you and my uter-me are now our uter-us.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "I'm glad you're here, Dong Swanson. The local video store's about to go under. We have to save it. Oh, this is the wrong movie.", "c": ["Porn Leslie", "Porn Ron"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Bailout"}, {"t": "Free dinner from St. Elmo Steak House bait and switch - Ron immediately reveals his identity when offered free steak", "c": ["Ron", "Process Server"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I don't like you. But I respect the effort.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "$46 million for psychological damages", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Yeah, that seems about accurate.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "We should sue Jamm's parents for spawning a human turdburger.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "As I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I wish we had $46 million. We could buy my parents' house and evict them.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Ron's delayed violent reaction after appearing calm, followed by the crash sound", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "And none of them had as cute a butt as you do.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "You're so sexy when you talk about percentages.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't the defendant, Ron Swansuck.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "This lawsuit is Chronicles of Riddick-ulous.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "The nurse still won't have sex with me, and she's not even queer.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "It's what we in the Jamm family call... 'Payback time.' / Everyone calls it that. / Yeah, because I invented it.", "c": ["Jamm", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I'm not not going to win nothing.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "They once got him $60,000 'cause he got too scared at a haunted house.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Who were you competing against? / My own taste buds.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "You wanna make a baby, Traeger? Your hair, my everything else. That kid would be unstoppable.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Yes, we did not win.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Yeah, get used to it. We're sisters now.", "c": ["Stephanie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Who were Ben's high school girlfriends, and what base do you think he got to?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Well, I pooched the brain exam. Just to be safe, I wouldn't take anything I say too seriously.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Ronny? Are you kidding me? I've never heard him threaten to hurt anyone or anything. The guy's, like, a vegetarian.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "His nickname around the office is 'Softy-Pants McHuggable.'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Also, may I say for the record, that is a dope pocket square. Can I see that bad boy?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I think about where you've been and where you're going and our future children and America and just our history as a nation.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I think I'm giving birth. Is that possible? No, right?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Oh, God! It's twins!", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? I'm serious. You're like a flower. Or, no, like a snug-bug or like a snugger-doodle or something like that.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Sorry, Ice Town, you're not going anywhere for at least a day.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I bought 12 babies, and then I immediately abandoned them at a Kroger's.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I was like Mark Z in the Social 'N.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "You even called me a... [whispers] vegetarian.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "It's how I was able to scrape by on the streets of Bombay and make it on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and get reunited with the love of my life, Latika.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Sometimes when I blow my nose, I get a boner. I don't know why. It just happens. Truth bomb.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I feel like I never gave Miles Davis proper shrift. Like, I just didn't get into it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Fred the Sled? They only bring him out for special occasions.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "He looks like he could use a swift punch in the face though.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "If it were me, I would have just punched him in the face.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "That's a typo. That's a major typo. That says 'Ice Clown.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, the key was made of ice. And much like the hopes and dreams of the people of Partridge, it melted away.", "c": ["Mayor Stice"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "He has a calcified rock lodged in his penis!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Well, BEN WYATT'S BETTER THAN LEE JANZEN, AND HE'S BETTER THAN JUDY GARLAND.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "He says a lot of things. He's always talking about overthrowing the government, but he never does that.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Truthfully, I barely registered his attack. He's incredibly frail, and his arms are weak. And when I punched him, he dropped so quickly, I thought he was diving towards the ground.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I regret nothing. The end.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "You got jammed by your own team. Self-jamm!", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Really? / Six-time Tour de France champion.", "c": ["Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Are you guys complete strangers? Is this one of those Craigslist father situations?", "c": ["Dr. Van Dyne"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I do know how many pounds of money I have.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I'm feeding your eagle. He's starving. / It's--it's bronze, babe.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Will you love our child and work hard to see that he or she has a good life? / You see, I think that's the only question that matters.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "You know there's nothing in there yet, right? / Yes, sorry.", "c": ["Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "My face! Is my face still there? What happened to my knees?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "One time, our boat almost tipped over, but then it didn't. / That's not a great story.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "I stole it from Mayor Stice's office. Screw that guy. You should have it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Hey, lake's not a garbage can, pal. / Yeah, sorry, it was symbolic.", "c": ["Local", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Is that Ben Wyatt? Get the hell out of here, Ice Town!", "c": ["Local"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Partridge"}, {"t": "Those are some chairs. That's a cat or opossum.", "c": ["Animal Control Worker 1"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Oh, this is a napkin where I wrote down a cool name for a dog. 'Bark Obama.' Right?", "c": ["Animal Control Worker 1"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "We found this bird outside. We tried to turn it into a work whistle, like in the beginning of The Flintstones.", "c": ["Animal Control Worker 2"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Thanks!", "c": ["Animal Control Worker"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "There's four ways to skin a cat. Regular blade--", "c": ["Animal Control Worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Coyote trap stepping and reaction", "c": ["Leslie", "Animal Control Worker"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "You're the people you would be calling. That is so trippy.", "c": ["Leslie", "Animal Control Worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "This was one of my running feet!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Yo, let's go to Jamaica. No, we should go to Jamaica. Oh, is that what you said? Yeah, dog.", "c": ["Animal Control Workers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Usually, I take it neat, but I will make an exception in the name of health.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Last night, I watched a movie with Diane and the girls in which an orange fish is separated from his father.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Uh, 'Spasm.' No, 'Butter Face'! Very good! Yes!", "c": ["Tom", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "The man owns a Rolexus. It's a Lexus filled with Rolexes.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I already took what I call a 'dwyer shower.' I rubbed my armpits with air fresheners.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I got the perfect guy. Friend of mine, bit of an alcoholic, a little grabby, either a war hero or war criminal, depending on who you ask, but a good dude.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Gosh, Jeremy, he sounds perfect. Are his gums great too?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "This whole place runs on dibs.", "c": ["Councilman"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Boring! 'Boring' is my middle name, so...", "c": ["Jeremy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "For 'date of birth,' you wrote 'springtime.'", "c": ["Doctor", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "One shelf.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Lovemaking and woodworking.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I have an uncle who does yoga.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Cowardice and weak-willed men. And hazelnuts.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Epic and private.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "If I give as much as I get, I'm giving $20 million. Ay yi yi. That's how much I'm worth, 20...million...dollars.", "c": ["Dennis", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Ah, he's disgusting, but I want to take his money and give it to needy people, so I'm just gonna keep on smiling. Yay!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Cuban? Now, that's the kind of guy I can hang out with-- Mark Cuban.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I have one testicle-- whac-a-mole accident-- and I'm down to clown.", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Harris, we know who you are. I literally just fired you.", "c": ["Leslie", "Harris"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "We live together! Yo, we live in the same place! This is my boy! Hey, 'Wyld Stallyns'!", "c": ["Harris", "Brett"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Actually, when I went there, it was just a two-year college. Wow, so you're not even technically qualified to work at your current job.", "c": ["Candidate", "Chris"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I am very, very, very, very frightened of animals.", "c": ["Candidate"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "You see Dr. Richard Nygard? I'm a Nygardian too!", "c": ["Candidate", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "The spaying and neutering tools, do you think those fit humans? And is there a lock on the spaying room door?", "c": ["Candidate"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I studied zoology in college, and I can control animals with my mind. Get out. I made you say that.", "c": ["Orin", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Balsa wood? You could at least use mahogany.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Wish all patients were like that. It's really annoying when they ask questions.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "You know, they claim that smoking is bad for you, but is there any medical evidence to back that up? Great point.", "c": ["Dennis", "Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Our health care outreach program has reduced pink eye in the rural community by 30%... to 70%.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "We drug them pretty heavily so they can't get very far. In fact, mostly, they just flop around on the ground. Makes it easier to just walk up and 'pow!' Stupid foxes. It's deeply erotic.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I think that guy wants to hunt me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "You're a dick. Excuse me? How dare you talk to me like that? Where are your manners?", "c": ["Andy", "Dennis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I run a children's break dancing studio called 'D.J. Jazzy Vern's.'", "c": ["Vern"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what, he's not a rack of ribs, so stop grilling him. Nailed it.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Ribs are better smoked than grilled, so un-nailed it, with the back part of the hammer.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I don't like lotion. I like my hands to be cracked and calloused like a railway worker.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I know. I filled the bottles with fake blood, vinegar, and mud.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Batman. See? I failed.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I will be your Pocahontas. Climb into my papoose.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "But only if you divorce Ben. Hey, don't even joke about that. What? I really think he's wrong for you.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I had never heard of several of those terms, and I'm a freak.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Alcohol is delicious and fun... damentally a substance that should not be abused.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Wow. Ms. Ludgate, are you a ventriloquist? I mean, that is amazing how you make your words come out of Ms. Knope's mouth.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "This check is made out to 'Go [bleep] yourself.' In your face! Dennis Feinstein helps no man!", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "What's 'cholesterol'?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Are you breaking up with me?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "I'm just sick of being on the losing side. I'm going to tell everyone this was my idea. Retro-jammed.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "For the last time, it's a Rolexus, and you can't drive it.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Can I hire an intern? Not yet. Can I hire a Mexican elf? No. Can I buy a child bride? No. Then how is this even a promotion?", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Animal Control"}, {"t": "Should the taxation of tea rise to an unacceptable level, citizens shall dump Ted into Ramsett Lake.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Their old-timey script made one of the As look like a D, so 'tea' became 'ted.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "You were so funny when you were like, 'My cell phone, I left it in my pocket.' Then you checked it, remember, and it didn't work.", "c": ["Andy", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "I talked to the other Teds in town, and they're not doing it either.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Here's a quarter. I own your car now.", "c": ["Ted", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "The Pawnee Charter clearly states that any white citizen has the right to seize any Indian property for 25 cents.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "\"Whoa, I think we should be careful when we speculate what the Founders intended when they wrote the charter.\"", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "You, a woman, just raised your voice to a landowning male.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "I was not aware of that statute.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "I'd work all night if it meant nothing got done.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "It's ALF.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "It better not be Terrence Howard's tank top from Hustle & Flow.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "I am ready to spend an amount that my accountant calls 'dangerous and irresponsible.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "'Talk Like A Pittsburgh Pirate day,' which, why and how?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "This calendar was last year's Calendar Day present celebrating the first time she ever bought me a calendar.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Have you seen those Dothraki dudes? They can get it. Everybody on that show can get it.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "\"I'm sorry, honey. I love you.\"", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "\"This is why we don't hang out.\"", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "I would now like to share some ideas I have for J.J. Abrams' seventh chapter in the Star Wars Saga.", "c": ["Garth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Imagine those two going up against Robot Chewbacca, 'cause that's gonna happen.", "c": ["Garth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "By that logic, every time I go to bed at night, I am Wolverine.", "c": ["Garth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "You bought X-Men pajamas? / I won them, madam, in a raffle.", "c": ["Leslie", "Garth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "They also had wooden teeth and pooped in holes in the ground.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Hop on board The Management Train. First stop, Motivation Station.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "You're 'Future Mrs. Tiger Woods'? / I made that profile, like, ten years ago. I don't know how to change it.", "c": ["Ben", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "It's like being smothered with a hand-quilted pillow filled with cherished memories.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "First of all, you don't steer a locomotive. The tracks do.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "The Lannisters, while very wealthy, do not possess the magical abilities of, say, the Warlocks of Qarth for example.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "\"First of all, you don't steer a locomotive. The tracks do.\"", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Money, fear, and hunger.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "When people feel supported, they will literally explode with productivity.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "My spirit blood is on your hands.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Old things are dumb. It's like, just be new.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "I had much better things to do. / Leslie said she'd pay me 100 bucks. / And I had nothing better to do. I'm doing it for free.", "c": ["Tom", "Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Rickets? Cured. Don't need to worry about rickets.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Get in line. / Who are you? / I'm Roz. I'm Leslie's mailwoman, and I need to get her a Mail Day present by next Wednesday.", "c": ["Ben", "Roz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "I'll give it to you if you go on a date with me. / Oh, God. I can't believe I'm about to do this, but fine.", "c": ["Pawnshop owner", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "One time my refrigerator stopped working, I didn't know what to do. I just moved.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "All my favorite foods have butter on 'em. Pancakes, toast, popcorn, grapes.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Butter is my favorite food.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Look at my hoop, Leslie. Look at my hoop!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Duraflex cut-top A350s in deep maroon? The honor is all mine.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "He doesn't have any new emails. / Is he a ghost?", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "\"Oh, my God. It's true. He hasn't gotten an email in twelve days!\"", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "He responds to spam emails.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Just burn it and bury the ashes and pray it doesn't haunt you.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "File! / Oh, my goodness. Money, fear, hunger.", "c": ["Ron", "Chris"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "A birthing stick. / What's that? / You do not want to know.", "c": ["Garth", "Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Huzzah, I'm Ted! / I'm Ted! / I'm Ted, too, guys.", "c": ["Garth", "Andy", "Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "He's naked, everybody! Put that away! / We're all Ted! Yeah! / No, Andy!", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "It's my favorite kind of battle. Two men enter, one me leaves.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "I will pit Ron and Chris against each other. They'll argue about dumb stuff that doesn't matter, and I will bail. Then I'll steal $20 from Chris's wallet and buy pizza with Andy. Oh. and I'll also steal Ron's watch, just for fun.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You guys, this is the best Breakfast Day/Waffle Day joint present I have ever received.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You're both dying. / No, no.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "What about Ann Month and Ben Month? / How about a week? / Fine.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Article Two"}, {"t": "Oh, don't open that. There's pictures in there. Oh! There are pictures. There are lots of pictures.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Because every memory deserves to be chronicled. Even the saggy ones.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Probably would've got more stuff done if I hadn't spent so much time brainstorming scrapbook titles.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "But what if we took a day on and stayed here and worked on some projects? That sounds pretty sexy, right?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "We are all out of water, actually. I'll have to use boiling hot milk.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "What the fuck is happening right now?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Oh, God, they're gonna fire people, aren't they? Yeah, I am two years from my pension.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Multiple confusing Jerry retirement timeline statements", "c": ["Jerry", "Tom", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Well, this is my last weep. Oops. I mean, 'weep.' Week.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "As much as we want this to happen, we can't let Jerry just disappear.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Jerry, thank you for your service. Good-bye. Thanks, Ron. That speech means a lot.", "c": ["Ron", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Okay, see you tomorrow, Jerry.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "You have the resting heart rate of a 100-year-old tortoise.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Today? Like, today, today? This today?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "I mean, why would anyone be so mean? Oh, wait. I wrote this. I stand by it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Well, Jerry was never really the type to rise above mediocrity or to it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Mac and cheese pizza? You're making that? [Gasps]", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Torturing Jerry was my favorite thing in the world. After making out with you.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "When one Jerry leaves, the office naturally selects a new Jerry to fill that role. It's Social Darwinism. The strong prey on the weak.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Goodbye, Ann Perkins, my excellent employee. Hello, Ann Perkins, my fallopian princess.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "If you fill it up all the way, you get on the board.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Chris and Ann's mutual overthinking about thinking about each other", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no. I go in alone with this pornographic disc and do it myself. And you stay out here and try not to think about what I'm doing in there.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "I panicked. Run!", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "I made two pile files. Pilo fibles. Ugh. Filo pilos. Filo pilos? That's not right.", "c": ["Garth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Well, I guess that settles who the new Jerry is. No, it doesn't! I barely even said it wrong.", "c": ["Tom", "Garth"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "30 years later, I'm wearing aquamarine sweater vests and listening to Bonnie Raitt and The da Vinci Code on my iPod.", "c": ["Garth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "City Councilor Leslie Knope, clearance level four. I know, but shouldn't we? I mean, it sounds so cool.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "I put my arm around nothing. And then you Photoshop him in later, okay?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Sudoku is easy. Is there even rules to this game?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm like a giant squid. Hey, honey, I'm ink Dracula. Squid Dracula is going to get you.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Andy will never be the new Jerry. Nothing embarrasses him. He's like a giant puppy with no shame.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "He resigned because of corruption and racketeering, and then he died from an overdose of pills. But actually his real cause of death was being thrown out of a helicopter while handcuffed.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Some people say he's still alive because they never found the body, but they never found the body because he exploded on impact.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Hello, Mr. Mayor. First of all, I'm so sorry that those Serbian mobsters shoved you out of that helicopter.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Ronfire of the vanities. Filo Pilo.", "c": ["Ron", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Interns cost nothing to the taxpayer. And more importantly, they're usually stupid and terrible. So they get no work done. It's like a Jerry you don't have to pay.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Let me remove my clothes so we may begin to engage in physical activity to multiply our genes.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Yes, we were.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Gross, Jerry. She made a meatloaf.", "c": ["Jerry", "April"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Jerry Gergich Memorial Conference Room. R.I.P.? Oh, the guy at the plaque store thought you had died. It was a rush job, so we didn't have time to change it.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "We can just pretend it means retire in peace.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Jerry catches fire during his own retirement ceremony", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Well, that went roughly as well as I thought it would.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Filo Pilo ruined the cake. Classic Pilo. What how is that my fault? Stupid Jerry. Should have never saved his life.", "c": ["Andy", "Garth"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "You know, I'm not really into breakfast foods. Really? Your purse is shaped like a waffle.", "c": ["Leslie", "Gayle"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Actually, I quit football senior year so I could help my pastor run a homeless shelter.", "c": ["Taylor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Chris and Ann awkwardly meet in hallway after their romantic encounter", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "I already was Jerry. I was a skinny Indian kid in South Carolina, and it sucked. It took me 12 years, but I reinvented myself.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "I have fur underwear.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "\u266a Eggs, bacon, and toast \u266a \u266a Why don't you start your day \u266a \u266a The Gergich way with eggs, bacon, and-- \u266a \u266a T-toast \u266a", "c": ["Gergich family"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "You are still the most handsome man in the world to me. Ugh. Mom, come on. Yeah, jeez, mom. We're eating.", "c": ["Gayle", "Gergich daughters"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "The hug machine is here. The hug machine--it's firing on all cylinders.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Do you want to make out? I really do.", "c": ["Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Do you want to make out? I really do.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Once again, I object in the strongest possible terms. Once again, noted.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Jerry returning as part-time employee after retirement", "c": ["Ron", "Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "Like, does she think Jerry is a friendly hat?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Jerrys Retirement"}, {"t": "First of all, I am rage glowing.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "What did the P.P.P.P.P. ever do to you?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Schools, police, mini-golf, merry-go-rounds, parades, gazebo repair, roads and bridges, whatever. Pretty gardens, hummingbird feeders.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I believe in cutting useless government projects. I also believe in cutting useful projects, future projects, and past projects. The Hoover Dam is a travesty.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Do you expect me to make a chair out of transistor chips and small wires?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "And it'll produce double the amount of electricity. - How? - I'll figure it out. It already has windmills. Who cares?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "- Yeah, I know. - I feel very ill.", "c": ["Jamm", "Milton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Well, the last time I was there, I saw kids of all races getting along and playing. It was terrible.", "c": ["Milton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Well, on the one hand, I love cutting government programs. On the other hand, mini-golf rules. And on the third hand, I hate both you and Ron Swanson.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I'm kind of a badass wild card.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Hey, what are you doing tonight? More like who am I doing? No one. I'm free. What's up?", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I am? You drove here. Nah, it's too late, bro. I already ordered the water. I don't know what you want me to do.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "And somehow I just ended up becoming the designated driver. And paying for everyone. And I didn't get to choose the bar. I should be more assertive.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Kinda sounds like one of your songs, babe.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I didn't recognize us without me because I'm the only one that matters.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "We are Rat Mouse.", "c": ["Burly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Hey, baby, can I borrow your car for a month? I already lent you my car. Do you not know where my car is? Ugh, I'm so sick of the third degree. It's like dating a cop.", "c": ["Tom", "Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I'm gassy. Let's make out.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Dating Mona-Lisa is awesome. Except that I live in constant fear for my life.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Calm down, Ann. You're proving my point.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "She once jumped out of a moving car to buy a Nicki Minaj poster.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Yeah, dead ringer for Courtney Thorne-Smith. She works at the gas station.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I can be a sort of... Conversational lubricant.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Yeah, there's probably a less gross way to say it, but sure.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I consider myself a caddy to everyone in my life. Yeah, good one! Nice shot! Great sweeping. Way to be, duck.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Some fat Hawaiian guy left it in my waiting room. When he came back, I was all like, 'Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, no, I haven't seen it. I don't know.' Classic.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "You know I have irritable bowel syndrome, you racist.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I was just over at the bar, enjoying a wonderful night with my co-workers who all talked about how awesome I was, and I look up, and what do I see?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "First of all, your nachos are terrible. No one's had the guts to tell you. Why don't you melt the cheese?", "c": ["Burly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Well, I dropped my cell phone in a bowl of cereal last week, you idiot.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Maybe you should change your name to Burly and The Backstabbers. That's a pretty good name, actually. Yeah, he's really good at coming up with names.", "c": ["Andy", "Burly", "Chang"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Get me a Budweiser Black Crown. You guys got Black Crown here? If not, you should.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "You guys sound like school. I have two important pieces of caddy information. Councilman Jamm leads by eight strokes, and you are both about to set a course record. For friendship.", "c": ["Jamm", "Chris"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm Ann Perkins. - I used to date Tom. - Oh, okay. We can do this, but I will bite you.", "c": ["Ann", "Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Do you know his ATM pin? 'Cause I cannot crack that little bitch's code.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Diddy's on Instagram? How did I not know that Diddy was on Instagram, you jagweeds?", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I love Andy, but to be perfectly honest, Mouse Rat's music is not my thing. I really only listen to, like, German Death Reggae and Halloween sound effects records from the 1950s. And Bette Midler. Obviously.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "What do you need a computer fan for? Sometimes when you use a computer, it gets hot, and the fan cools it down.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Tommy owns his own business. Yeah, but he had to borrow a lot of money, and when you're not around, Tom drinks tap water.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa", "Ann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Mm, yeah, 'cause I don't eff with poorsies.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "and I don't even usually like Puerto Rican chicks. I'm not--I mean, it shouldn't matter, but I'm--", "c": ["Mona-Lisa", "Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "My name is Andy Dwyer. You probably know me as the artist formerly known as the lead singer of Mouse Rat. Well, after tonight, you'll only know me as the former artist formerly known as the lead singer of Mouse Rat.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "\u266a He made incredible nachos / That everybody claimed they loved / And then the band mates dicked him over / With a massive rock and roll shove \u266a", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Tom. What happened to you? Mona-Lisa happened to me. She covered me in glitter and Anna Nicole body spray.", "c": ["Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Why do they still even make that? They don't--she's had the same bottle for years. She just mixes in water and baby oil.", "c": ["Tom", "Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Why is there a gorilla guarding this gingerbread house?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Uh, bean sprouts. Tofu. Ralph Nader. Ayn Rand is a terrible writer. Don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "What the mother-effing, c-ing ess-ing, effing k-ing eff is going on right now?", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "You guys want a threesome. What? No. We do not wanna have a threesome with you. Well, let's not rush to judgment. I mean, I say we hear her out.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa", "Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I've been single for an hour now, and it's the tits!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "This is just how I dress now. Funny goofball music Andy... Is gone. You're left with the professional remains.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Give me more time to play video games.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I would pay any amount of money to properly shame you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I will call him '$9,000 of taxpayer money the gorilla.' That is a terrible-- his name is Mr. Fuzzyface!", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "That is a terrible-- his name is Mr. Fuzzyface!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Well, Mona-Lisa and the random girl she grabbed after you left got into a fistfight in the parking lot. Eventually, Mona-Lisa threw a cinderblock through the girl's windshield. She dives in, steals her purse, doesn't go for the money, steals all her birth control pills, and says, 'Bitch, you're gonna get pregnant.' She then pretends those are ecstasy and sells it to a bunch of college kids that are drinking Goldschl\u00e4ger at a gas station.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "She then pretends those are ecstasy and sells it to a bunch of college kids that are drinking Goldschl\u00e4ger at a gas station.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "My word is garbage. Everyone knows that.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "I have six things to say to you. One: You drive me nuts with your rigid code of honor. Two: Congratulations, putt-putt has been defunded. And only because Jamm was going to double-cross you, and I made him stick to his word. Three: I am furious that putt-putt has been defunded. Four: I am sorry that I said the gorilla's blood was on your hands. 'Twas Leslie killed the beast. Five: Putt-putt is for children, and they are the future, and I have already written a ballot measure that will save it, and it will pass. And six: Your rigid code of honor, which drives me nuts, makes you a wonderful human being, and I am proud to call you my friend, and don't ever change.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "And then you either realize that I'm right or you get hungry and go home and I win.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Name one other band that's done that. The Beatles.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Swing Vote"}, {"t": "Lending? Makes it sound like I had a choice in the matter. I never should've agreed to this or let you know that I have a cabin or gotten to know any of you.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I don't wanna over-hype it, but our parade makes the rose bowl parade look like a turds-on-wheels convention.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Easy: Most murders per capita. The guillotine was invented here. City Hall is run by the walrus mafia.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Cost of living is cheap. In about three years, I will have saved enough to pay off my condo in Seattle.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "You have a condo in Seattle? / Yes, I like the rain and the fish markets.", "c": ["Leslie", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I'm bored. Let's go have sex in a tree.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "He'll be back in eight minutes.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I don't really have any power in this relationship.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Side note: I accidentally threw my sweat shirt away. That's why I was digging through the trash. Found that too. Pretty cool.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "They said I was retired. They said I was too dangerous for the Pawnee Police Department. Turns out they were right... and wrong. Macklin, you son of a bitch.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Due to a tragic misunderstanding, the prettiest pig beauty pageant has been replaced by a pork rib barbecue competition.", "c": ["announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "And frankly, I don't see any of those citizens standing up and complaining abo-- Okay. Now, I see them.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Whoa! Darren! Slow down! That sweat suit's not for sweatin' in, okay? This is crushed velvet. If you go at more than a brisk walk, it will fall apart.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I could add a baby section over there, call it 'Li'l Swaggers.' I could add some old people stuff, call it 'Rent-A-Sag.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Ugh, no. Old people are gross.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "He sounded really sexy on the phone, and I was very into that. Like, I was, like, very into that.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Okay. I frenched my cousin one time. / That's gross. / I might still be in love with him.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa", "Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Babyface heard my demo? I will accept a record deal.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Whoa, Diddy wants to buy Rent-A-Swag? / Not what I said. / This is a lot to process. Will Diddy be coming to the meeting?", "c": ["Tom", "Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Oh, boy. What do you want, Macklin? / Me? Just observing. A little something they taught us down at Quantico.", "c": ["Ann", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Congratulations. / Is that a question? / It's an accusation, 'cause I know your secret. You're pregnant.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I'm trying to get pregnant. That's not fair. I mean, great, and happy for them, and congratulations, whatever, but ooh! No! Boo!", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Whoa, I don't think so. Bert Macklin works alone. I will buy lunch. You can have as many burgers as you want. Welcome to the FBI.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Whoa, I don't think so. Bert Macklin works alone. / I will buy lunch. You can have as many burgers as you want. / Welcome to the FBI.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Pawnee is no longer the fourth most obese city in America. We're now ninth.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "You somehow convinced the school board that napkins are a vegetable. / They're made from plants.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ms. Pinewood"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Ever since you stripped us of our freedoms by making us hire women, we've had to turn one of our bathrooms into a woman's bathroom. We only have one bathroom now.", "c": ["Dewey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I'm so sorry, Dewey. That sounds like a horrible price to pay for something as trivial as gender equality.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Now, if I wanna start my day off with a triple-decker pancake breakfast pizza, I gotta go to the one that's 10 minutes away, and that makes me 20 minutes late to work every day. I work at home.", "c": ["Bjorn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Have you ever considered not eating that for breakfast? / I'll never consider that.", "c": ["Leslie", "Bjorn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "How many people am I talking to, Donna? One or 1 1/9? / Are you asking me if I'm pregnant?", "c": ["Andy", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Whew. This case just got interesting. Well, not just. It was pretty interesting to begin with. This case just remained interesting.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "This town is going to hell in a Gucci knock-off handbag, girl.", "c": ["citizen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Oh, I run a pornographic DVD emporium.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I'm Brandi Maxxxx... Star of such films as the incredible Burt Wonderbone, A Good Guy to Lay Hard, and Argo. I had a small part in Argo as well as the porn version Our Goo.", "c": ["Brandi"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I've seen the first 90 seconds. It's thrilling.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Someone-- I'm not saying Diddy, but I'm not not saying Diddy-- has offered to buy out Rent-A-Swag for a buttload of money.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I'm talking pedicures on pedicures on pedicures.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I actually think that you should get a 'Hello Kitty' tattoo. / No, with the store. / Oh. Uh, burn it for the insurance money.", "c": ["April", "Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "God, nobody cares, Gary. / Enough. / Thank you.", "c": ["April", "Tom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "We always use protection... but I'm pretty positive she pokes holes in them.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "It's called 'Womb There It Is.' / That's her brand.", "c": ["Andy", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have a baby with Jean-Ralphio's sister? Oh, God. What have I done? Like, to humanity?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I'm the Nipple King. Kernston's Rubber Nipple Company elects a nipple king and a nipple queen every year to ride on the float.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I'm the Nipple King.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "No fun for you!", "c": ["parade float"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "No fun for you! Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's Kate Upton.", "c": ["Crowd", "Chris"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Recall Knope! / Legalize weed!", "c": ["crowd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's mine. / Lemony snicket.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa", "Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Psych! Ah, ha, ha. Look at your stupid face. You had a dumdum face.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Do you know how many different pills I take, birth control or otherwise? There is no way that I could be pregnant with a human baby.", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "She's the worst. You dodged a bullet, baby. Congratulations. Thanks.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Besides, the math doesn't add up because we only have sex every single day.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "When we went to Hawaii, you woke me up at 3:00 A.M. to watch Meet the Press. / Well, it was Elizabeth Warren. Like, I'm not going to watch that live?", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Step up. Step Up 2: The Streets. I'm sorry, my adrenaline is pumping, so all I can think of is dance movie titles. Stomp the Yard. There's one.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "You Got Served. Silver Linings Playbook, kind of.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I think I'm better off. I haven't had a date in a while, but I'm learning a lot about me. / Well, I wasn't asking you specifically, but I'm happy to hear that, Shauna.", "c": ["Shauna", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Recall, shmecall. No, I can't end my big press conference by saying 'Recall, shmecall.' That's ridiculous.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "That's another dance movie with Jessica Alba.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "Sex is ridiculous.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "My wife is pregnant!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "My wife is pregnant! Okay, put me down.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I wanna wait until we're 50 and then adopt a set of creepy adult twins from Romania.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "He's calling it 'Tommy's Closet.' It's a high-end secondhand clothing store where parents can rent clothes for their teens, tweens, and pres, as well as babies, toddlers, grown-ups, and olds.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "So I guess only Domino's is allowed to sell pizza now? It's called capitalism, Mr. Haverford, and you are about to get a free lesson. Only this free lesson is going to cost you. So it's not free?", "c": ["Trevor", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "So I guess only Domino's is allowed to sell pizza now? It's called capitalism, Mr. Haverford, and you are about to get a free lesson. Only this free lesson is going to cost you.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "It is Diddy. / I knew it! / It's not Diddy.", "c": ["Trevor", "Tom"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "It is Diddy. I knew it! It's not Diddy.", "c": ["Trevor", "Tom"], "jt": ["running_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Are You Better Off?"}, {"t": "I believe she's referring to me, son.", "c": ["Ron", "Diane's father"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Standard birth control methods aren't usually effective against a Swanson.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Most likely in a canoe. I actually built a canoe for that purpose.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Except a destination wedding.", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "we could go up to the fourth floor right now.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "There's nothing I love more than squeegeeing slime off a highway underpass.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Are you dead? You look like you're in rictus.", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "and I do not have time to talk about this.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "This is like a waking nightmare of happiness.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Why don't you hold this colorful bouquet of highlighters?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Why is there no rice in this municipal government building?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Haven't I done a quickie wedding for you before?", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Diane Tammy Lewis.", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Just kidding. It's Elizabeth.", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Webster's Dictionary defines 'friend'...", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Pretend this is rice.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Last week, I was an answer in the Pawnee Journal's crossword puzzle. The clue? 'Who's the worst?'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "But not too happy.", "c": ["Gretel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Ann, you cunning, pliable, chestnut-haired sunfish", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Life is precious and every day is a miracle.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "What a freak.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "You see, you are Hydrox, Mr. Haverford. We are Oreo.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["observational", "metaphor"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "My client is not Jason Statham.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "It's not LeBron James.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I just. I got a fly.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "I just assumed you were lying.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "History began on July 4th, 1776. Everything before that was a mistake.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "A steak dinner, a glass of Lagavulin whiskey, then vigorous lovemaking for two hours, and we're both asleep by 8:30.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Bong. Bong. Bong.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "After all, we did come all the way down under.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Your Royal Excellency, Lord Edgar Darby Covington, Fourteenth Earl of Cornwall upon Thames, Twenty-ninth Baron of Hartfordshire.", "c": ["Lord Covington"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Look. A clock. We don't have that in America.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Try the Sears Tower, friend.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Of course you do. That's the most wonderful piece of paper in the world. Accept it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Enjoy the fact that your royal overlords are a frail old woman and a tiny baby.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Ann and Chris? What are they doing here?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "situational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Then, you stole my daughter's virginity.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "I had to buy her a new one so she could drive to divinity school.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "juxtaposition"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "And Tom and his weird feud with our doctor.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "He called it. That's the rule.", "c": ["Lord Covington"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Oh, no, actually, we do own that.", "c": ["Lord Covington"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Where do you think you are, the moon?", "c": ["Lord Covington"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "and instead, just walk up to the mic and meow really loudly for eight minutes.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "She's gallivanting around Europe, like some kind of European.", "c": ["Kathryn Pinewood"], "jt": ["circular_logic", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "35% said they were confused by the way the question was posed.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "but I told him that you made me sign up for a bunch of credit cards, and then maxed them out by buying illegal white jaguar fur coats.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "They filled it with broccoli just to add insult to injury.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "There was a statue of a lion inside, and I found a yo-yo.", "c": ["Lord Covington"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "I meant Andy. I want Andy to stay.", "c": ["Lord Covington"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "I meant Andy. I want Andy to stay.", "c": ["Lord Covington"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "and the reindeer was delicious.", "c": ["Ulee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Pawnee is filled with a bunch of peepee-heads.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Pawnee is filled with a bunch of peepee-heads.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "When did you make the switch to boxer briefs?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Give it to me. I want milk.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "One bearded lady. She got all rude when I marveled at her.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "You shined shoes for over two years and never made a profit.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Right now it looks like I'm talking to a giant crab.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "I have done nothing wrong. Ever, in my life.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Tell me you love us, and then, admit this guy looks like Beaker from the Muppets.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "And me, Odie the dog, Garfield's enemy.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Because it's lower in sodium?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Sincerely, Satan.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.77, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "I don't know what she thought I'd get out of that.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "Failed experiment. Take it off.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "London"}, {"t": "That's the sexiest thing you've ever said to me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Look. Am I proud of it? Yes. Because Eagleton sucks. But is it the classiest move? Yes, because Eagleton sucks. Would I do it again? Yes, because Eagleton sucks.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "She thinks she's so great because she won the Miss Indiana Beauty Pageant. Last year. While she was in office. And pregnant.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Oh, no, these are pesticide-free. I ate one of these for breakfast this morning, and I found a worm in it. So, I bet somebody feels pretty stupid right now.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "These are made of Swarovski crystal, and they're worth $700,000.", "c": ["Ingrid"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "I'd pop a Xanax and ask my butler to help me out.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "But when you tell 'em it's time to change their oil, they ask, 'Extra virgin or white truffle?'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Unless, of course, you're an Eagletonian, and then you'll be too busy polishing your monocle at the caviar store.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "We only ever subscribe to two magazines, Reader's Digest and Ebony. Ebony was due to a clerical error, but it ended up being an interesting year of reading.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "She got me off the Williams-Sonoma mailing list, but then I just signed back up again. Hooked on their oven mitts. I need my mitts on those mitts.", "c": ["Jerry/Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "According to her Twitter feed, she got coffee five minutes ago. Wait, now she's Ustreaming her walk back. She should be here in three, two, one.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Hashtag quest for coffee, blowin' up my timeline. You get my snapchat about it?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Hey, Dr. Buttons-- I mean, my old calculator. It doesn't have a name.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Butch Count-sidy and the Sum-dance Kid, together again.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Auditing bros! Yeah, and auditing sistah. Let's do this.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "If you make your omelet out of Faberge eggs, you just might... Be an Eagletonian.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "I would get one in Pawnee, but fun fact-- our only baby store is attached to a chemical refinery.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "I made a special road trip mix CD for us. I hope you like Tori Amos.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Trunk.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "We don't really like to talk about money. We find a little gauche.", "c": ["Ingrid"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Are you tipping me? Is that 100...Euros?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "I live for the grid. It's where I meet 40% of my jump-offs.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Grid, grid, grid, grid, grid, grid, grid-- If you help me get off the grid, I will let both of you go home early. No grid, no grid, no grid, no grid.", "c": ["Tom", "Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Yeah, an empty Sprite can, an old man's fingernail in my pocket, and a picture of Patrick Ewing on a roller coaster. I'm all set.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "I'm April Ludgate Kevorkian.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Sure you wanna leave me here with her? What if I'm a murderer?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Their debt-to-equity ratio is ridonkulous. What a hilarious word. It reminds me of a ridiculous donkey.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Now that is the sexiest thing you've ever said to me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Do you like apples? We just watched this movie two nights ago, so-- Do you like apples? I don't wanna do this. How about them apples?", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Passing the buck-- the last refuge of the cowardly and black-hearted.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "These are the first bibs I've ever seen without Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s face on them.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Um, I was at orientation, but it was lame, so I left. And then I kept walking, and now here I am.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "We came from our bankruptcy brunch. And Michael Buble played, but he ran a little long.", "c": ["Ingrid"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Sure, let's not have brunch... like animals.", "c": ["Ingrid"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Uh, you filled the public pools with bottled water? Total body hydration.", "c": ["Ben", "Ingrid"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "We purchased HBO for the whole town. I'm sorry. You spent government money on a TV subscription? It's not TV.", "c": ["Ingrid", "Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Couldn't cook 'em fast enough. The last ten were still in the shell.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "That's too much information.", "c": ["JJ"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "As you remember, I'm April, and this is Ann, my 65-year-old grandmother.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Mee-maw, God, no one uses the word hip anymore.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Sometimes I wish you went down on the Titanic with all your sorority sisters.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "How are your local graveyards? I have some planning to do.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "'You blew it. Super hard. Complete buffoonery. It's hilarious.' And 'You deserve it.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Whatever, blondie. Your butler made your bed, now you gotta lie in it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "You don't kick a dressage horse after a failed pas de deux.", "c": ["Ingrid"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Oh, I've been taking pictures of you all day for my new Facebook album: 'Ronswan: Gettin' off the grid.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "You just vined your first selfie, Ron. And I'm vining you vine your selfie.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "The world is a nightmare.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Youngsters? Am I 65 years old?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "Why do people keep assuming I'm ready to catch things?", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "'Eagleton: No money, mo' problems.' Fantastic, right? I made enough of them for everybody to wear at the game.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "I have a PhD from the Sorbonne. For what? Wearing Chanel suits? There was a fashion component, yes.", "c": ["Ingrid", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "I speak for all of us in all matters. That is what you tacitly agreed to when you married me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "What, Ann? I just stole your phone and texted every guy in it that the baby was theirs. It's not that big of a deal.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "And I've met Guy Fieri, Ann. So gross!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "There's no way he is in high school. And I'm better at French horn too, Eric.", "c": ["Leslie", "Basketball Player"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "I love you, but your solution to every problem is to live inside a mountain.", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "I hate their stupid beautiful faces and their stupid shiny hair.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "No one bailed me out when I got arrested for arson.", "c": ["Pawnee Citizen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "What's next-- merging a man with his dog?", "c": ["Pawnee Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "They're a little-- oh, what's the word? Have-no-money.", "c": ["Bertram"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "They're a town of angels-- greasy, denim-clad angels, but angels nonetheless.", "c": ["Ingrid"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "It looks like the original phone from the movie Wall Street. I think it's just the original phone, period.", "c": ["Zoe", "Diane"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "A cell phone belt clip? No, Ron. Oh, my God! Yeah, I can't be seen with you.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "The thing I'm having is a gut feeling.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "All of Pawnee's apples have been recalled-- g. Coli. You mean e. Coli? I wish. Way easy to treat.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ingrid"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pawnee Eagleton Tip Off Classic"}, {"t": "women and minorities can vote, we have indoor toilets, and we no longer burn widows for learning arithmetic", "c": ["Unknown speaker"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "It is horse-dancing, madam.", "c": ["Alonzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "All you horse dancing people, sit in your saddles if you will.", "c": ["Unknown speaker"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Not surprised, I'm one of a kind, just like the custom Nikes I designed that say 'Tommy's Tootsies' across the toes.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "- Hey, everybody. - No! No, why? This can't be happening. Why, Leslie?", "c": ["Jerry", "April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Welcome back, Jerry Gergic.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "It's Jerry. No, it's Gary. Your name is Larry, Larry Gengurch. His name is Larry Gengurch.", "c": ["Jerry", "April", "Tom"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Come on, April, it's already hard enough for my family when you call me 'Gary.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Ron is basically a better version of George Washington.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Like a majestic alley-oop. You're all amazing! You're all fired. Teamwork.", "c": ["Ben", "Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I said, 'Gayle, put that bikini away, because Pawnee needs me.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Oh ho! Somebody forgot a banana in here--ooh!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Oh, that is the perfect name for you. I love it. Never change it! Wasn't gonna.", "c": ["Craig", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I want to be a Spanish man named Terrence, but that didn't happen.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I carried the Eagleton department on my shoulders for years, and I loved every second of it. You don't even know!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "No, it's Tynnyffer with two y's. I used to be Jennifer, but then I decided to rebrand myself.", "c": ["Tynnyfer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Oh, wait, hang on. It's Xanax o'clock.", "c": ["Tynnyfer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "My name's April, and I just wanted to say that your dress is so cute it's bonks.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "She's the worst person I've ever met. I want to travel the world with her.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Is that your name, or are you telling me you're finished talking? Both. Dunne and done.", "c": ["Ron", "Other Ron"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I guess that explains the shoulder pads.", "c": ["Ragiv"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "How did he notice these?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Pawnee has the very first documented case of mega-diabetes. And the only know occurrence of Lou Gehrig's other disease.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "With your tiny little doll feet.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, look at that. It's waffles! - Delicious waffles.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Joe Biden on a horse shirtless. That's amazing!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "who wants to stay in the greatest town in the world with her best friend and be happy forever when she can abandon her soul sister like an old shoe and move to a garbage city full of jerks", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "We've just been like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! Like, talking, like, so much forever.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "This is, like, the best day ever. I know, I'm eating it all up.", "c": ["April", "Tynnyfer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "instead of wiling away like a dying turd flower", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Ew, no. I've had so much rejuvenation that I don't think a baby could get out of there if it tried.", "c": ["Tynnyfer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Oh, I have a medical condition all right. It's called caring too much! And it's incurable! Also I have eczema.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I'm a yoga nut. And I'm a nut nut. They make delicious milks, man.", "c": ["Other Ron"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "You only eat vegetables that have been thrown out in people's dumpsters.", "c": ["Other Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "My trusty sandals. I believe a man's feet should remain uncaged. Same goes for all chickens.", "c": ["Other Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I don't want to put this on your plate. You have a lot to deal with.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I've got the condo in Seattle, the fiance in Denver. - Huh? - It won't last.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "He had, and I quote, 'no comment.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I'm just trying to stop time with legally-binding friendship contracts.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I made unity cookies with the Pawnee town's original colors of blue and yellow. However, I did not have yellow frosting, so I had to use mustard.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Mmm! Sugar mustard.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "You're not 'Ann' pretty, but you have potential.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I'm halfway through designing a bamboo gazebo as a tribute to the founders of motown.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Best friends, attack Ron!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "You are so amazing right now. You're like skinny Mother Theresa.", "c": ["Tynnyfer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "It's Dwayne Wade's house. I got his address off the Internet. I really hope he's there when she walks in and he throws a basketball at her head.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Those who cross the czar feel the wrath of the czar!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "geography will never change your feelings", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "I once thought I had a friend. Then it turned out he was the single worst person I have ever met.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Giving in to hate is like drinking saltwater. The thirst only grows worse.", "c": ["Other Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "After I defeated him in an epic struggle, E.R.I.C. is gone.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "my DVR is 13 months pregnant with episodes of Scandal", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "we were always just beat at the end of the day. I actually think it's something else.", "c": ["Ben", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "A cherry tomato. Nope. A gumball.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Doppelg\u00e4ngers"}, {"t": "Ben, your heart's in the right place. Your heart and your butt.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Crap on a turd!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I'm Leslie Knope. Tell your parents to recall me.", "c": ["Leslie (in fake ad)"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Why don't you just put the 'Don't' in front of 'Recall Knope'? Yep, that's a much better idea.", "c": ["Unknown", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Can I have these question mark stickers? Why? I want to put them on stop signs. April, no!", "c": ["April", "Unknown", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Oh, we have a new policy. Parks can only be reserved for witch covens or slip-and-slide competitions.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Which one are you? Uh, slip-and-slide competition. Seriously? No.", "c": ["April", "Nadia"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Why would you even compete in something like that? It doesn't matter.", "c": ["April", "Nadia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Tom, this witch wants to reserve a park for her satanic ritual.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Right. Smashing. Uh, yes, I'm Thomas Haverford. I sort of run the whole department.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Brilliant. The old 'D's without 'B's. Uh, we can definitely help. Yeah, Tom's your guy. He actually used to run the Parks Department in his home country of Russia.", "c": ["Tom", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "This one is mental. She's joking, obviously. How could I be from Russia? Not with this spot-on British accent.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Whoa. I am pretty sure you shouldn't have a weapon at work. Literally everything is a weapon, son. That folder, in my hands, is far deadlier than this bow in yours.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Oh, that's... probably true.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "You need that many pages to say, 'Give my stuff to my wife'?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "What are these weird symbols? The man who kills me will know.", "c": ["Ben", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "The three most useless jobs in the world are, in order, lawyer, congressman, and doctor.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Where is this lawyer you speak of?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "All right, well, uh, motion to end this session early so nothing can get done. Second. Gahhh, you guys are the worst!", "c": ["Council member", "Council member", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Sorry, Knope. We're just looking for any possible way to get you recalled because we don't like you. It's nothing personal. It absolutely is personal. That is the definition of 'personal.'", "c": ["Council member", "Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "'The definition of personal.'", "c": ["Council member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "See you tonight. Hope you like tongue baths, you big, nasty fireman.", "c": ["Donna (via tweet)"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Then there's a picture of a pair of lips and then a picture of an eggplant. I'm both confused, and if we're being totally honest, a little aroused.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Not to give you too much of a peek into my personal life, but this could have been way worse.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Tongue baths? Eggplants? Firemen? Those men are heroes who deserve respect! 9/11!", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "This will be blown way out of proportion! You have my word on it!", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Guard your buds, 'cause they're about to get nipped!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Pawnee is like a petri dish of weird diseases. Did you know you have a higher rate of the West Nile virus than the actual Western Nile?", "c": ["Nadia"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Sorry, West Nile, looks like Pawnee wins again. What else have you beaten the Western Nile in? Cricket. Uh...", "c": ["Tom", "Nadia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "just fill out these forms, and we will be all set like two biscuits inside a tin.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I mean, obviously, accountants are a little more bad boy, but, uh, there's a respect there.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I've been talking to Ron about estate planning, and he is here to do some 'Good Will Hunting.' Because he has to draw up a new will, so--", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Yes, I understood, Mr. Wyatt. Thank you. As I've said before, I just don't like puns.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, Trevor. Where there's a 'Will,' there's a way.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I'm gonna say this one last time, Wyatt. Check the accountant crap at the door. Yes, sir, I will. Unintentional.", "c": ["Trevor", "Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Well, it's actually quite simple. Uh, a Parks and Rec employee forgot to log out of the Parks and Rec Twitter account, they posted a personal, of the Parks and Rec private message by accident", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Alright, sadly, due to your 'intracksidence'-- Not a word.", "c": ["Jamm", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "When I was four, I thought that chocolate milk came from brown cows, and then I flip-flopped when I found out that there was something called chocolate syrup.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I don't think I'm out of line when I say that this scandal makes Benghazi look like whitewater! It's utterly meaningless.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Perhaps he or she-- Or them. It could be a bunch of hot ladies.", "c": ["Jamm", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "What happened to your accent? Oh, yeah. It's gone. Huh. You know, I had a cold recently. I think that may have affected my voice, like, in certain British ways.", "c": ["Nadia", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "You have a cold? Can I feel your glands? Sure. Wow, you are wearing a lot of moisturizer on your throat. Best way to prevent crow's neck.", "c": ["Nadia", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Is this glitter?", "c": ["Nadia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I am in love with Nadia Whatever-her-last-name-is, and I'm gonna keep her here, using the most powerful weapon I have-- bureaucratic incompetence.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Oh, no. You filled out Form 3208. You were supposed to fill out Form 3248. Oh, God. This is to lease a hangar at the airport.", "c": ["Tom", "Nadia"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Someone left out a blender, fresh fruits, and rum? I guess we gotta, like, make Daiquiris now. I like to have music on while I work, you know?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "In a shocking twist to an already juicy story, we have obtained access to Ms. Meagle's account, via a third party. Same hairdresser.", "c": ["News reporter", "Typhoon"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Damn it, Typhoon! Why'd you do this? Maybe if you had bothered to come to my Great Gatsby Brunch, you'd know.", "c": ["Donna", "Typhoon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Holy fuck.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Is this a joke? Another word for 'jokes' is 'lies.' I do not lie. Therefore, I do not joke.", "c": ["Trevor", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I was right not to be threatened by you.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Annoying-ass Leslie has given me another annoying-ass task. \u266astickers, \u266abitchboss.", "c": ["Donna (via tweet)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Twitter poll: On a scale of 98 to 100, how annoying is Leslie Knope? Cuz u know it ain't less than 98. All my #trueblood fans know what's up.", "c": ["Donna (via tweet)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Leslie, sometimes you're kind of annoying. I mean, I thought that was your thing. My thing? My thing is not being annoying.", "c": ["Donna", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "My things are making friendship bracelets and dancing like nobody's watching, thinking up really cool nicknames for my friends. You of all people should know that, El Diablo!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I think that you ask a lot of the people that you work with, and I think that people do what you ask because they love you. But, I also think that driving people as hard as you do can ruffle some feathers. I think a lot of things. I like thinking. And racquetball.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "It appears, whereas 'bitch boss' is clearly an indication of her frustration, 'boss bitch' is a term of endearment. Isn't language fun? It's like racquetball for your mouth!", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "What did you name your imaginary airline? 'Jet Blue Ivy.' I figure Jay-Z and Beyonce's kid will own her own airline eventually.", "c": ["April", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Maybe I can drive you around and we'll pick another one? Maybe I'll bring a picnic lunch. Do you like tamales?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I probably shouldn't say this, as a doctor. It's probably not cool. But I really hope you all get West Nile virus.", "c": ["Nadia"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Oh, you're joking. Yes, son, I am. First joke ever. Don't care for it.", "c": ["Ben", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I will leave my children $50 apiece for the cab home from my funeral and a steak dinner, end of discussion.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I'd never lose to a boar.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Wow, 5 whole percent. So, I guess you are gonna teach them a lesson. Oh, my God, that's 5%? That is a lot of money.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Ron, I'm-- I'm incredibly flattered. Ralph Piatkowski and his wife Helen. He's the Maitre D' at Mulligan's Steakhouse, and he knows me better than anyone.", "c": ["Ben", "Ron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "How dare you demean the value of the political points I'm scoring?", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "Tom wants me to tell you that all the screw-ups were my fault, but really, he kept messing up so that you would stay in Pawnee as long as possible because he is super into you.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I'm just trying to figure out if acting that insane is, like, romantic, or totally scary. I'll go with romantic.", "c": ["Nadia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "He's sweet, he's cool, and you're, like, way out of his league, so there's literally no risk for you at all here.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Gin It Up!"}, {"t": "I'm going to murder you a thousand times.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Someone's back from London / No, it's not the Queen / Someone's back from London / It's not Mr. Bean / It's not the royal baby / I think his name is Jeff", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Take a hike, Jerry. / It's Larry now. / Okay. Take a hike, Larry.", "c": ["April", "Jerry/Larry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Last week, he tried to have me listed on the ballot as Leslie Buttface Hitler the Fourth.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I'm so sorry. I just get excited when you like me.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Give me those votes. / I don't have them on me.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I could be one of those dudes that kisses mannequins or whatever. But I like a woman in skates. A lot.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Ann called. She wants her ugly outfit back.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Leslie said it was a 'Come As You Were in the Nineties' party. I assumed it was the 1690s.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Babe, if it was the 1690s, we'd all be mummies. / What do you think mummies are? / Skeletons?", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I actually just went. I had to pull my pants all the way to the ground like a toddler.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Actually, we're not even playing the same sport. It's kind of like she's in the NBA, and I work in a muffler store next to the stadium.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I'm doing Doctors Without Borders, man. I'm going to Rwanda. / Exactly. That's a stupid vacation.", "c": ["Nadia", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Yet another professional Indian skee ball player? Right.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Hey, you know you're supposed to hit the deer, right?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "this gun is lightweight, there's no sight, and we are far too close to these deer. Would they not smell us? I want my money back. How do I get my quarters?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I am not a sore loser. It's just that I prefer to win. And when I don't, I get furious.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "You know how you Americans say 'cool' when something's cool? Over in London, we say, 'That's brilliant.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I'm like Chuck Norris. Only instead of crushing bad guys' skulls, I'm crushing documents.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I'll karate punch your face with my tongue. / Prove it. / Hi-ya.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "He's got Monster, but not Automatic for the People. / Wow. / I know. It's like, what is this, a mid-'90s party?", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Are you dooking on my chest right now?", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "She is filibustering on roller skates? / She's going to be strapped into those things for hours. / I swear to God, this is like a crazy sex fantasy for me.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Hey, you're supposed to be my lookout. / I thought it would be funnier to watch you get busted.", "c": ["Tom", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I remember the first time I voted. I was in my bedroom, and I was five. I voted for Mildred, my stuffed pig. But my cat, Pancakes, won. She had more funding.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "How long have I been talking? Three hours? / No, eight minutes.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "This is literally the most exciting thing that I have ever seen.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Well, maybe the birthday party she's throwing for me right now.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I love Chinese crap. Lucy Liu, Nintendo, Gangnam Style, sushi, et cetera, et cetera.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "What about, um, fifty bucks? / Yeah. Just don't tell my boss. / What are you doing, Morris? / Nothing, Mr. Bonderman.", "c": ["Tom", "Morris", "Mr. Bonderman"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Every time you look up at the moon, I too, will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously. That's impossible.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, I taught myself how to make out on this bear. I pretended it was Cockroach from The Cosby Show.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "That's so sweet, but you're basically offering me garbage.", "c": ["Nadia"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "And if I know anything about Rwanda... And I don't. I bet it's full of rich guys who will buy her whatever she wants.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I thought you were serious. / Come on, now. You know I don't give a [bleep].", "c": ["Donna", "Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "As Ronald Reagan would say, 'Well, Mommy, I believe voting rights are important.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Well, speaking of heat, we should discuss America's white hot passion for voting rights, and the men and women who help protect them.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Once she starts thinking about birthday cake, she's basically useless until she eats birthday cake.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Democracy is not unlike a cake. It's layered, delicious, chocolate, and I want some.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "All we have is the right to vote. And the right to kill Indians without consequence. And I believe that half of that statement is still true today.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I was just here in this dumpster, because I jumped in.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "We want someone from Eagleton to represent our interests on the new City Council. / Sir, I formally revoke our hug.", "c": ["Eagletonian", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "We stand on the side of Rosa Parks. And Gandhi. And Team Aniston.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Every day, someone comes up to me and says, 'I need your approval on this, Mr. Dwyer. I need your signature, Mr. Dwyer. That's not a toilet, Mr. Dwyer.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I am. But I'm like Chuck Norris now. Some old guy with a beard who used to be good at karate, but became a dumb has-been, and is scared and confused about his big London job.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Half the documents I get, I put right into the shredder because they're so boring.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Because you are awesome and everyone else sucks.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "All I want is the promise of democracy. / You sure about that? / I want that marg. / I know you do.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Why are you covered in blood? / Don't worry. It's not human.", "c": ["Donna", "Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Scientists say the emotions of love and hate are very close to each other. That's what I tell women.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I know conversations like this are hard for you because you still have feelings for me. But you'll land on your feet, kid.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Did you... / Yes, I used cookies instead of bread.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "She's dancing around like she's a character in one of those Peanuts cartoons.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Hey, Knope, how you feeling over there? You need to go pee-pee? Pee-pee times? Make wee-wee?", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "She didn't have time to hug me, but she could do that?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Sorry, Ann. This is on you. You told us to make a memory. / There's your money back. / This is eight dollars.", "c": ["Tom", "Nadia", "Ann"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Now, that's what I call shooting. / That's a new record. / Hey, look at that. You finally made it into the top ten. / Now, you can enter your initials. / My initials are private.", "c": ["Ron", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "I was peeing so freaking hard, it was like a Jacuzzi jet or... Hi, Leslie. / Hey. Ingrid. / I wasn't talking about the velocity of my pee.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ingrid"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Not that forceful urination. The filibuster.", "c": ["Ingrid"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Maybe I should put those roller skates back on. / Well, you must be exhausted. We don't have to go to the party. / Oh, we're not going to the party. We're going home. / Then, why would you need to put on roller skates? / Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We're just... Just. Skates.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Filibuster"}, {"t": "Yesterday Jaden Smith came in, and he was like, 'Look, I want to quit the music/acting business and work here with you.' And I was like, 'Jaden, be serious. The world needs you. You have a gift.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Get a big old mug of hot chocolate, put on my thinking PJs, and get back to you.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Listen to me very carefully. No matter what happens, you will never acquire my thinking PJs or my YouTube blazer... Nonnegotiable.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Larry, everyone else was able to make it to the committee meeting on time. What's your excuse? / I was voting for you in the recall election.", "c": ["Leslie", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "There's been a mistake. This says that I'm in charge of the silly skeleton room, when really it should say 'the undead serial killer room.'", "c": ["Possibly April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Plus, um... It's Kevin Pollack's birthday. That's something to focus on today. Who cares about the recall? It's Kevin's day.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Ron, can you put some more tiny marshmallow in my hot chocky?", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Maybe you should try taking a walk... Out of my office.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Ron! You're in Bloosh! / What? / Ron's in Bloosh? / Ron is in Bloosh!", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "She spent four months living in Kate Bosworth's pool house.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "She used to be the face of the Eagleton phone book. Then she moved to Hollywood to pursue her dream of becoming friends with a bunch of celebrities.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Annabel says that buying an island is the only real way to know that your goji-berry farm is pesticide-free.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Someone's getting a new leather jacket. / I don't want a leather jacket. / It's for me. This is a great day!", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "April, you seem depressed, and I would know. I spent most of last year being treated by Dr. Richard Nygard for my own emotional problems.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Every year, we would dress up like demons and egg Larry's house. / That was you? / Larry, please. We're having a private conversation.", "c": ["April", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "With scary, scary monster claws! [Chris making dramatic gestures]", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Nobody wants Gengurch-family-themed Jack-o-lanterns. / Gayle likes them.", "c": ["Leslie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Why didn't we call it 'City Hall-oween'?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "A poster announcing the new Lilith Fair concert. It's fake, but it'll buy us an hour.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "It's loosely based on the Klingon greeting salute. I just learned that. And if I had known, I would not have agreed to it.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Hey, Leslie, how about instead of slightly changing a lot of banners, we paint our toenails to look like pumpkins?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Your brain is almost as perfect as your face.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Hey, Ron, baby, what are the hot deets on Bloosh? / Start over and speak differently.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Annabel, could I be more jels of your low-lights right now? I mean, O.M.Squee, talk about bangs envy.", "c": ["Tom coaching Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Oof, you got a long way to go, Swanson. / I regret everything.", "c": ["Donna", "Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Too close to call, a real nail-biter, anybody's game... These are three phrases you won't hear tonight, as Leslie Knope has been voted out of office.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "\u266a I got-a the pizza, pizza time, it's-a pizza time! / Larry, everyone is miserable, and you are only making it worse.", "c": ["Larry", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "I left her, like, 30 voice mails, and her outgoing message is just her sobbing and burping and crazy laughing.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "What's up, fartwads?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Eat my shorts, Jabronies. Knope, out.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "And you know what I think it needs, actually, is a papier-m\u00e2ch\u00e9 li'l Sebastian! [Beat of silence] What? / Oh! / I'm gonna go fall asleep on a bench.", "c": ["Leslie", "Everyone", "Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "First of all, Mozambique cashmere is the new cast-iron stove.", "c": ["Annabel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Finally. / But my fave new item is a deliciously bold chair... / Did that woman call my chair 'delicious'?", "c": ["Joan", "Annabel", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Scary stuff is invisible, Leah... Broken dreams, disappointment, achieving your greatest goal and having it all fall apart and knowing that you'll never climb any higher.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Can we have some candy? / I'm gonna give you something sweeter than candy, Ryan... The truth. It's very possible that some of you have already peaked.", "c": ["Kid", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Just remember, kids, nothing gold can stay.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Even better, use it as a focal point in your yoga tent. / Put it by a table and eat a meal.", "c": ["Annabel", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "We don't do meals in my home. No, every two hours, we eat what I like to call a food tease, like an oat wedge or a seaweed lozenge.", "c": ["Annabel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "And I think this is really important, so I need everyone to shut up... I love your hair. / Oh. Thank you. / It's genetic and unattainable.", "c": ["Joan", "Annabel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "I am scaring you! I could see you. There's, like, a million mirrors in front of me.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "What about this? I'm Bert Macklin, friendly lifeguard. / Bert Macklin is not a lifeguard. He's an FBI agent. / Really? That's even harder to believe.", "c": ["Chris", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Now I'm sad that I miss Andy and sad that I can't make fun of you to Andy.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "I've failed you, both as a scary monster and a friend.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "I was impeached when I was 18, and it was brutal.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Oh, God, did I peak when I was 18? / There it is. / Drink up.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "B-13 shots. Bird bath salts. Champagne decanters!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "When you talk me up, be sure to mention that you really admire how I take big risks with men's neck accessories.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "If my chairs were mass-produced, they wouldn't be Swanson chairs. Swanson chairs are handmade. / Yes, and now they will be made by thousands of tiny Chinese hands.", "c": ["Ron", "Annabel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I am not done with you, you wicked little so-and-so.", "c": ["Annabel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Hello, sir. We are sober. We would like to get tattoos on our bodies, 'cause we love each other.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Tattoos? This is a pawnshop. But, yeah, sure, I can do that.", "c": ["Pawn shop owner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "I want a portrait of Eleanor Roosevelt, tastefully done, and then she has a very classy tattoo of Pat Benatar on her arm. And that's very subtle.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Do you have anything to numb the pain? / Sure, take a scoop out of the pill bucket.", "c": ["Ben", "Pawnshop Owner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Okay, you said you wanted 'mouth queen'? / No, stop. Stop it. Stop everything that you're doing.", "c": ["Tattoo artist", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "What we are doing is not nuts. We are merely getting tattoos so that everybody knows we love each other and that we haven't peaked.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Good-bye, world traveler. / Later, bro Heisen.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "The only thing that's important at the end of the day is what's on your gravestone... Your name.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "My gravestone's gonna be a 60-inch touchscreen with a hologram of four mes singing End of the Road by Boyz II Men... But point taken.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Don't let her get a tattoo. / What the hell happened? / I couldn't help it. She's so cute when she's coming up with destructive ideas.", "c": ["Ben", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "They held the recall election, and I lost. I was voted out of office. In 30 days, I will no longer be a Pawnee city councilor.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Ann, you poetic and noble land mermaid, you're right once again.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "And if you want to egg Larry's house, come find me. / You guys are cute. / Where'd that come from? / I'm weak. I miss Andy, and it's making me weak.", "c": ["April", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Or he's secretly super in love with me. It's probably that. / That's a funny joke, April. But the truth is, I'm very much in love with Ann.", "c": ["April", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Ron said there's nothing more valuable than my name, but he's not a businessman. I am. And now I have seed money for my next venture. I sold out, baby.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "She's never down for that long. And now that she's had a little time to recharge, she is like a toddler bouncing back from a nap.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Ann, it was very hard to capture your beauty, and, Ben, you make a sexy pumpkin... No surprise.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Recall Vote"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm April. I stole your wallet.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "You guys are weird. Thank you.", "c": ["April", "Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Keep walking, 98. Skill positions only for Donna Meagle.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "\"Run\"? Tommy doesn't run. That's your guys' job. Now, uh, let's go fetch this football throw, fellas.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "malapropism"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "This morning I saw a YouTube clip of a little puppy riding a motorcycle. So my bar for \"stunning\" is pretty high.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Then I would tell you the puppy had a little side car with a piggy in it named Hampton.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Pawnee is going to have fluoride in its water for the first time in our history, our oral history. Nailed it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Lame duck? Try flame duck... 'cause this duck is on fire.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. He's not wearing any pants. What's wrong with him? Let's get out of here. He's smiling at us! Let's go! Run!", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Several months ago, I was on a walk and found my crib tree. I approached the tree, murdered it, left it to cure in my woodshop", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Are you going to crawl my way? By Lenny Kravitz.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["malapropism", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "I am confident that it is literally the safest crib in the explored universe.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Counteroffer-- you take me nowhere, and I talk to no one.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Counter-counteroffer-- you come with me, or I make you attend a four-hour fax cover-sheet protocol meeting.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Fluoride can control minds? Like, you can use it to make ladies do stuff?", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "How am I the one that is getting booted off of this city council?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "I don't want fluoride in the water because I'm a dentist, and I like cavities.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Got an Asian girl to sit in it once.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.57, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Remember last year when no one would get flu shots 'cause there was a rumor they turned you European?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Some lardos in Muncie ate tainted Sweetums toffee sticks and diarrhea'd so much, they ended up in the hospital.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "I want to throw up and kill myself.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "If you can look at that site and not want to take home 50 dogs, you're basically a war criminal.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Larry, I swear to God, if you leave right now, we will make your spirit dog a miniature schnauzer. Is that bad? Yes!", "c": ["April", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "You bought a machine that replicates an open window?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "I'd like to solve the puzzle of parenting.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "malapropism"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, that thing is a deathtrap.", "c": ["Salesperson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "It burned off my fingernails.", "c": ["Salesperson"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "You definitely understand what chemicals are, Perd.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "I'm like a white, male U.S. senator.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "but now the binders are bright yellow! Boom!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "What's he gonna be in ten years--Snoop Laser Snake?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Oh, no! That is insane! I will burn this place to the ground if you pick that one!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Because you're pretty and you like makeup and stuff.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "You have used 9. I have used 20. Continue.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "100.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "fluoride, chemical, tiny genitals, misinformation, panic, death, Jenny McCarthy.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "What the-- what just happened?", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Welcome to T-dazzle. It's not a chemical. It's an aquatic-based social-media oral experience.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Someone like Ron is teaching even when they're not teaching. Does that make sense? My anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "We call it \"Drink-ems\"! Whoo!", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Did you bring those with you just to do that? Maybe. Damn. It is a baller move.", "c": ["Jamm", "Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "You're beautiful, yet cold and aloof. You pride yourself on being a loner. You do not obey, you choose to cooperate. And when you stop baring your fangs to pick a mate, it's for life. And you're fiercely loyal to your pack, which makes you a rare black Siberian husky.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "That was so spot-on, it was scary. I need to go lie down for 45 minutes. No, an hour... a full hour.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "What's next-- cookie dough toothpaste? Bad example. That would be amazing.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Because you were embezzling... I hope.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "What do you want, Leslie? I love him, and I will do anything to help him get his job back. What do you want?", "c": ["Jessica", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "You are such an autumn.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "1970s funk and 1770s opera and Sugar Ray, post Mark McGrath after he left for Entertainment Tonight.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Favorite book? Downton Abbey. That's not a-- Downton... Abbey.", "c": ["April", "Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "In order-- Natural Born Killers, Remains of the Day, and Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. Excellent.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Rad Dads by Apolo Anton Ohno and Shaun White.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "That trash can is the toilet, and the wood was the feces.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "That's why my favorite book is Moby Dick-- no froufrou symbolism, just a good, simple tale about a man who hates an animal.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.77, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "You're not a dog. You're a cat.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "What will we do-- sleep all day, take cooking classes together, sit on a couch and watch movies? God, that sounds horrible.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Each Drink-ems is packed with 35% of your daily monopotassium phosphate requirement. MPP is an emulsifier as well as a plus-7 PH buffer. Now, I know what you're thinking-- what about its molar mass? How does 136.086 grab you?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Well, miss, I think we'd all appreciate it if you just swallowed a teaspoon of hush.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "I'm like Picasso meets Michael Jordan. I can paint, but, uh, I can also be a world-class gambler.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "malapropism"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "I'm like Picasso meets Michael Jordan. I can paint, but, uh, I can also be a world-class gambler.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "malapropism"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "There's more than one crib tree in a forest. That's not a lesson, by the way, just a comment on lumber availability.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "Does the white whale actually symbolize the unknowability and meaninglessness of human existence? No. It's just a shitty fish.", "c": ["Chris", "Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "I think so. I'll double-check with Tom, but I'm, like, 95% sure.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Fluoride"}, {"t": "The last time he was in between jobs, he got deep into claymation, so this should be different, hopefully.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Presenting 'The Cones of Dunshire,' a brand-new gaming experience. 8 to 12 players.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Two wizards, a Maverick, the arbiter, two warriors, a corporal, and a ledgerman. Now, the ledgerman just keeps score, and he wears this hat.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Oh, boy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Ben's stream-of-consciousness explanation getting increasingly convoluted about challenge plays, trivia cards, roadblocks, and rolling dice to see how many dice to roll", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Are the cones a metaphor? Well, yes and no.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, the Maverick should be able to trade lumber for agriculture credits. How have I not thought of this before?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "This is nothing, right? When do you go back to work again? Tomorrow. It's fine. I'll just throw this in the garbage.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "The voters, to use a technical political term, gave you the stanky boot.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "What, you think I'm gonna use it to put a new limestone shower in my office? Yeah, now I do.", "c": ["Jamm", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "For sale. Small house. Location: Forest. It's a little wordy, don't you think?", "c": ["Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Current owner will not clean up shotgun shells or animal carcasses. Fine, I'll clean up the shotgun shells, but the carcasses remain to fertilize my berry patch.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Fine, I'll clean up the shotgun shells, but the carcasses remain to fertilize my berry patch.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Spladow! Check it. 'Regal Meagle Realty.' 'Find your castle.'", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "The question I always ask myself is, what kind of mogul should I be? Fashion mogul, energy drink mogul. I even thought about downhill skiing. A mogul mogul.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "A little too good. Let's see if you live up to the hype. I'm not joking.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "I hope you were speaking to her in a calming voice 'cause babies can hear everything. Baby, if you can still hear me, I love you. The phone is hung up.", "c": ["Leslie", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Ever since I started city council, I have gone head-to-head with Jamm 112 times. He has won 56 times, I have won 56 times. I will not lose our last battle.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Maybe I can mediate, like Dr. Phil, only qualified.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "I just can't justify owning four cabins. Two cabins.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Plus, it doesn't have these razor-sharp perimeter defense planks sticking out of the ground.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Ron, you want to stay outside and do nothing while they make your cabin look like garbage? I'd like that very much. We can watch the shadows get longer.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "If I'm murdered tonight, start the investigation with those two guys.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "No shoes, you lose. That means we should have shoes then, right? No shoes...", "c": ["Jamm", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "It's not sexual. I'm just a really big fan of her game. Because in that picture, she's wearing a bikini. Yeah, thanks. Photoshopped it myself.", "c": ["Jamm", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Got ourselves a sleeping bag, a giant tin of caramel corn, and an irregular skirt from DKNY. The hem is crooked, but it was 8 bucks.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "How sweet is this table, by the way, huh? I got it from an actual benihana. Cost me 4 grand. Worth every penny. Hai!", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Can I interest anyone in an authentic a-Japanese a-break-a-fast? Scrambled eggs eaten with chopsticks?", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "This place is so random. I don't know. It's kind of, like, in the middle of nowhere. I know. That's, like, the hilarious part. It's like a joke how long it takes to get here. It's like a meta-cabin.", "c": ["Potential buyers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "I heard that Dave Eggers wrote a short story about this tape cassette that he found under that tree over there. Oh, my God, I heard that Neko Case and Ben Gibbard made out here once.", "c": ["Tom", "Potential buyers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "What if we dissolve the trust? Yes! You just cracked the case. I'm just doing my job.", "c": ["Ben", "Coworkers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "You eat the shells, and you throw the seeds out. Wow. You have really immersed yourself in Asian culture.", "c": ["Jamm", "Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Ugh, Lezzie. Come on, I'm getting bored.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no. I'm Sandra Dee. That's more of my register. You're Zuko.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "I would like to buy five DVDs of this. No, 20. No, 60! No, that's insane. 20.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Glamping is 'glamour camping.' Heated tents, catered meals, wi-fi-- You're describing a hotel.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "That's part of the charm of this whole place--the cantankerous old coot who owns it. It's authentic!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "You are my Nemesis. You're the Superman to my Lex Luthor. You want to be Lex Luthor? Uh, yeah. Lex Luthor is rich.", "c": ["Jamm", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "You don't make sushi rolls out of tuna salad-- Maybe you don't.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jamm"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Ann arbor sounds disgusting.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "I mean, the stupid state is split up into two pieces! It's ridiculous.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "You probably watch Million Dollar Baby and root for the stool. I haven't seen it. Not a big Morgan Freeman guy. I find his voice very grating.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jamm"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "I haven't seen it. Not a big Morgan Freeman guy. I find his voice very grating.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Wait a second. That's not pizza. Those are calzones! I love calzones!", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Wait a second. That's not pizza. Those are calzones! I love calzones! We know!", "c": ["Ben", "Coworkers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "I bought that cabin 18 years ago for $2,200. I do not care about the money.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "I'd go up there and take Andy and Champion and just get away from everyone else and look at spiders.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "I'd go up there and take Andy and Champion and just get away from everyone else and look at spiders. And it's where I'd bury the bodies of that annoying couple after I murder them.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "And it's where I'd bury the bodies of that annoying couple after I murder them.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "I will give you everything in my purse. $8, a bunch of loose cough drops, and Larry's asthma inhaler.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Larry, this is part of a real estate transaction now. You have no legal claim to it. Sorry, I had no idea.", "c": ["April", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Jamm is gonna be so pissed when he finds out that you're leaving and your I.O.U.s are worthless.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Well, it's not the most ethical thing that I've ever done, but on the flip side, Jamm is a big, mean dope.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Is this for realskis? This is 100% certified for realskis.", "c": ["Ben", "Chris"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "You can play with one warrior, but it's just not nearly as good. Enjoy. Ben Wyatt.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Let's play. I call ledgerman! No.", "c": ["Coworkers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Cones Of Dunshire"}, {"t": "Andy got back from London two days ago and he still has jet lag. It's really annoying. We're on totally different schedules. Last night he mowed the lawn at 2:00 in the morning.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "As soon as I wake up, he goes down. Hard.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "That's my spaghetti, Chewbacca.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Were you about to spray me with the hose inside the house?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I kinda want you to do it now.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "When she walked past me this morning, I gave her a kind nod.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Wine is crying juice.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "A nice candle. I'm screwed.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Well, technically, my home away from home is in Zurich. Frank Gehry designed it. But this is nice too.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Denial, anger, Internet commenting, cat adoption, African dance, cat returning to the adoption place, watching all the episodes of Murphy Brown, and not giving a flying fart.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "How many stages is that? I don't know. The point is I'm fine now.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "It's like what sir Ian McKellen said to me the day I sold my boat to Karl Lagerfeld: 'Parting is such sweet sorrow.'", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. What is your life?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Was I singing Goodbye Yellow Brick Road out loud?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I studied opera at the Sorbonne. I'd be happy to harmonize.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Dear Tom: I win. You suck. Turn note over. You still suck. Turn note over.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "What if I gave you 5 bucks to put a bag of poop in Saperstein's car?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Counter-offer: Why don't you just do it for the story?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "That is the most symmetrical fetus I've ever seen. This could be a superhero.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I'm loveable!", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Is there an option other than yes or no?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Wait, no, I have to pee. Wait, no, I have to barf. Actually, all three. Being pregnant is great.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "No, it's not, you boring grandpa.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I would wish you the best of luck, but I believe luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Basically, if you're older than me, you're a grandpa. And if you are a grandpa, you're dead.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "This check is made out to 'Lenny,' which I think is a typo for 'Larry,' which isn't even actually my name.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Do you know anything from The Requiem for a Dream soundtrack?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "But not the kind that snaps in half, maybe.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["obsessional", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I also engaged in inappropriate texting, sexting, and tex-mexting, which is where you send photos of your junk from the restroom of a chili's to go.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "No. Really. Tell me. It gets me off when women tell me that.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Enrique Shockwave, Willie Dynamite, Lee Harvey Teabag... Lieutenant Wilhelm Von Penis.", "c": ["Dexhart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "It's basically a dumping ground for old shipping containers. It's like a raccoon shantytown.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Come on, time is money, money is power, power is pizza, pizza is knowledge. Let's go.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "So my idea is for an abacus, but on your phone. I call it a 'phone-bacus.'", "c": ["Greg"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Son, you just described a calculator.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Three words: Automated word counter. Get out. Two. Words. No. One. Word.", "c": ["Tom", "Entrepreneur"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna buy that thing. It's covered in a gallon of your boogers.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Olive, rosemary, chicken. Fifty burritos.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "non_sequitur"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I'm pregnant, and I'm a little bit crazy. So if you don't bring our appetizers out in the next 30 seconds, I'm gonna plunge your face into the deep fryer!", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "What? He's kinda cute. Oh, God, Shauna, no. I-I just feel like I could fix him, you know?", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Macaroni and poison. It's like mac and cheese, but with a special ingredient.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Every socket set I've ever bought only goes up to 1/2 inch. I'd love a couple larger sizes. Take it all the way up to 5/8.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Bears bouncing on trampoline roads.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "non_sequitur"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Second chunce four Lesle! Perv Dexxxhrt equals... birthday mouse", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Tiny little acorn penis? Forget it. A weird image. But one that does not diminish my enthusiasm.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "self_awareness"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Are we having a smurf?", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Oh, I love the sound of silence before a big cheer. That's what's happening, right?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "self_awareness"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I would love it if you ran an insane campaign and basically turned into the joker. But that means you probably shouldn't do it.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I don't know, Leslie. It seems risky. And I'd hate to see you go through another tough fight. But I could be wrong. I haven't pooped in three days.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["non_sequitur", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "What the hell do you know, Dum-Dum?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I'm younger than you, and I already have my own department. Plus I'm married, and I make more money than you.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Whatever. You just merged your department with parks then made up your own title.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["comeback", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I'm empty, yo. Fill me up. / Do that again.", "c": ["Talking tissue", "Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "What do you say you and I get together in a special way? I-I'm pregnant. The more the merrier.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I guess I'm open-minded as hell.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Also, if you don't know already, there's a malfunction with the TV, where it keeps ordering porno, like, a ton of porno. Like, how can someone watch that much porno in one sitting? Only when you're out of the house.", "c": ["Saperstein's son"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Do you really wanna spend any of that time talking about my mother and her 19-year-old Korean husband?", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "That's how I enter rooms now. It's more dramatic.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "self_awareness"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Clear them sinuses, playboy! Someone's got the sniffies. Tell your mama you love 'er. Step up your vitamin C game, bro!", "c": ["Talking tissue"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Those terrible people have paid me so much money, I have a condo in every virgin island.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Be the woman who moves away, climbs the ladder, and then confidently comes back and has sex with her hot old English teacher just for kicks.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I don't care enough about you to lie.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "If you say one more word, you will legally owe me $1,200, and I will sue you. Let's not end it like that.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "I thought you didn't have a preference. I didn't. I just really wanted it to be a boy. Me too. I don't know why.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Would you be interested in adopting my children? They're in their late 20s, they're terrible.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "A shockingly unshocking press conference in which a recently unemployed woman said nothing of importance.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Second Chunce"}, {"t": "Leslie insisting on interviewing for her own job despite Ron's protests", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Ron, come on, it's me. Give me special treatment.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I also walked you down the aisle at your wedding", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Give it all back to the taxpayers", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Spirit dogs chart and the committee ruling on everyone's dog type", "c": ["Unknown ensemble"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You guys think I'm a border collie? So obviously a cocker spaniel", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Classic border collie. Has to control everything", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Can I get a what-what? What? What? Thank you", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Champagne app that pops whenever I say something awesome", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I can straighten this for you. There we go", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Don't sweat it, Lez-kno. Tommy's taking care of every last detail.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Larry's endless romantic speech followed by That literally went on forever", "c": ["Larry", "Chris"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Cracker dust... I mean yes", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "No part of this is how I pictured it. I thought another cracker might push it through", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Unpasteurized cheese smuggling and What's that mean? I don't care", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Are you in a cult? Can I join? Let's sacrifice Larry", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Everyone is the best. We're cutting vacation time. Let's eat vitamins. This is exhausting", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I can't shower in five minutes", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "That little dude's wound so tight, he's gonna pop", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Bathroom breaks should be limited to five minutes? I can't shower in five minutes.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Doesn't Ron look exactly like a blue flyer? There aren't that many different types of kangaroos.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Spirit kangaroos replacing spirit dogs with everyone as blue flyers", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Step one: Chill out a bit. Step two: Get up there and rip it", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Indiana blue ribbon panel on irrigation and drainage quote", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "When did they put a lamp here?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Are you trying to bribe us? No! Oh, God. I surrender", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Not a shotgun wedding, although yes she is pregnant and yes we just decided to get married today", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "All we did was punch jewelry store into our car GPS. I was getting gas. No, I don't remember it", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Hair strand binder security system with elk hair", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You're pranked. Check this out. I took a picture", "c": ["Police officers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Screw bisque", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Stew flutes for toasting", "c": ["Stu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You let me pee with the door open so I could watch the end of Grey's Anatomy", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I'm just government junior", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "That was me. And I didn't really like it", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Who uses mousse still?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I don't know! Me either! Maybe let's not? Yeah, I think maybe not", "c": ["Ann", "Chris"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Larry still can't see purple", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "That was Larry's fault. He picked up the laser and stared right into it", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Ben's elaborate fake kidnapping prank plan with divers and squibs", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "What the fuck? Accidental squib explosion", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Best prank ever", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Just pick a thing", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Just take it and get outta here", "c": ["Theodore"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Leslie's anti-stew presentation describing it as bent over boiling cauldron", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Pungent beef smoothies until we bury him under that shed", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I think I've made a terrible mistake.", "c": ["Stu"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I think I've made a terrible mistake", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Hey. Rip it", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "R-e-s-p-e-g-c. According to Urethra Franklin, that's exactly how it's spelled", "c": ["Unknown employee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Then you betrayed me and turned them into efficient and caring government employees", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "New Beginnings"}, {"t": "And I have to say that the way that you're rockin' those slacks is quite impressive as well.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "There's nothing wrong with acknowledging the fantastic work of one of your employees, especially if she's adorable.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "And we finish each other's... Sentences! We rehearsed that at home. Naked in bed.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "What! What!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I think I'm in love with you. Oh, my God, that's great news, 'cause I'm in love with you too.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Stamp the damn form.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Group hug! Little G.H. Bring it in.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I think our love made him angry. I think he broke my wrist. I'm not kidding. Really?", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Whales don't have feet.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "This morning when I got out of bed, I just tipped forward like a poorly made bowling pin.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I read something on raddadsolutions.net that there's a pressure point in the foot that could induce labor.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Everything is amazing. Today is perfect, and I love you. He's driving me up the fucking wall.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Look at this tiny tree. Can you eat this? Aww. This one's dead.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "That's the fun thing about cabbage. One of the fun things.", "c": ["Connie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "'Chardbodies: Get a chard on'? Let's get 're-charded' in here!", "c": ["Nolan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Let's get 're-charded' in here!", "c": ["Nolan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Mmm, chard is so bitter.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "By 'rules of conduct,' do you mean that wooden sign you made that says, 'Peas be kind to others'?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Yes, and 'In case of fire, romaine calm,' and 'You won't bay leaf how nice olive our vendors are.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I don't like vegetables, but I'm very good at vegetable puns.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Cabbage! Come and... get it. Connie, no. Put those away.", "c": ["Connie", "Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "No, that's a super small piano.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "$75,000? $300,000? They'll do it.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "150 bucks? Split that four ways, boom. $600.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I can't wash my face with hand soap. Look at these pores. They're gaping.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "It's the whine & cheese club, gorgeous.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "'cause I have a beach ball in my stomach that's punching on my bladder.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I can't have cheese, Larry! And I can't have wine either.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I want to be Pac-Man, and instead of dots, I want 'em to be cinnamon buns.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I want to be a giant head and a mouth, and I just want to eat rows and rows of junk food pellets", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "The reason is it's vegetable porn. Porn on the cob.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I'm just very good at that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Like we only talk about work stuff when we're at city hall, like a firewall system.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "No, it's ridiculous to think that you could survive a nuclear blast by jumping into a refrigerator.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Firewall, man. We pulled into the parking lot, and this is technically city hall property, so now we're at work-- let's do this.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "The surprise is there's toffee in the inside.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "My stomach has so many stretch marks on it that it looks like an old-fashioned globe.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I've been reading up on nipples. It has nipple cream, nipple pads, and also a special nipple pimple ointment in case you develop any pimples on your nipples.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you have to stop using the word 'nipple.'", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "boob hats.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "\u266a Super fun \u266a It feels super good \u266a I wanna do it all the time \u266a Sex is cool", "c": ["Mouse Rat"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Did you book us a gig at a kids' party? You said we were playing at a festival. You said Dave Grohl might be there.", "c": ["Band member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Dave Grohl might be there. I don't know. He might be anywhere. The guy's awesome, and he's unpredictable.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I'm sick of all the drama with this band. I-I quit. I'm going back to rabbinical school. Umbilical school?", "c": ["Rivers", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "It's like, 'Hey, you like lettuce? Try this. It's worse. It tastes like kale took a dump on spinach.'", "c": ["Nolan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I like to think of it as celery with B.O.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "What? There's no such thing. Yes, there is. I made it for you last night.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Yeah! It's sushi and cigar club now.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "And you know what? I would yell some more, but I think I just peed my pants a little bit.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "'Dear honey--' Oh, how sweet. Read.", "c": ["Larry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "All roads and bridges fall under the purview of the Pawnee department of transportation, which is located on the fourth floor of city hall. Firewall down.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Bank! Private property. Firewall restored! Ha-ha-ha!", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "You can't escape city hall, fool! Let's dance.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Tom put all my records into this rectangle!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "The songs just play one right after the other! This is an excellent rectangle!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm arguing with the sun.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "What? That is totally crazy! I am super chill all the time!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "This is 'un-charded' territory for us.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "I can't because my legs are numb. Yeah, I can't move. Are we gonna die here?", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Please welcome Johnny Karate and his magical guitar stick!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "\u266a Pick your nose \u266a 'Cause boogers are gross \u266a Clean out your snout", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "\u266a Everybody pees the bed \u266a Just something that we do \u266a I for instance peed the bed \u266a Until I was 32", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "This is so fun. I cannot believe this only cost me 150 bucks.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "There's just been, like, a long, slow fart stream coming out of me since we started talking... this morning.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "That really sucks. Yeah. It does. Thanks.", "c": ["Chris", "Ann"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "This town is full of lunatics.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, this was a terrible idea. Yeah, it's like a tree barfed in my mouth.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Farmers Market"}, {"t": "Look... I am throwing a farewell party for my best friend, Ann Perkins. And if she casually mentioned 3 years ago that she thought indoor fireworks would be cool then guess what, you're gonna give me indoor fireworks.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "That promise launched a friendship so grand it takes 103 scrapbooks to capture it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "- Damn, that's really good. - Right? There's gonna be a lot of these at the party. - You should come by. - I kno-- I get it. I know what you're doing. And I still--is there a little crunch in there? - Hazelnut. - Ooh.", "c": ["Harold", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Ann's leaving town and saying painful good-byes to loved ones. [cut to April] Greatest day of my life!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Hey, that box has my name on it. Hey, this one has my name on it. This one has plates' name on it.", "c": ["Tom", "Ben", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Fun pun alert. A bronzed hamburger.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "I would have preferred a regular hamburger for eating, but this is very nice.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "2008 Indiana state audit spreadsheets? Man, that year was insane! That was the year you went from being an auditor to a legend.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "I did have to go to a very seedy location to find it, but now I know where to go to place a bet on horse fighting.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Tell Ann about the groundbreaking, frame Ann for murder, release a deadly virus into the water supply.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Why is there a New Year's Eve countdown clock and the Easter bunny? I don't know when we're gonna be able to visit each other, so just to be safe this party is a celebration of every event that's gonna happen this year.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Ain't no party like a Leslie Knope party 'cause a Leslie Knope party is actually 30 parties.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "This is just a bunch of bras and knives. And loose onions.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Well, that card's for three pans. Either way, this is great.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Carob cookies and berries are literally my favorite dessert alternative.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "I also shook his hand. Twice. Anything more than that would be excessive.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "I say we start with the three 'C's,' cashmere, concert tickets, caboodles of cash. I feel like those are perfect gifts for you. Those are perfect gifts for anyone. Ugh, I wish you guys were Donna!", "c": ["Tom", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "But now that you're officially out of the dating pool, you know I'm gonna run this town, right? Ooh. Oh, yeah, you do not wanna go down that road. Trust me, I tried.", "c": ["Donna", "Ann", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "There's also a sign that says 'Especially Leslie Knope.' Well, Leslie Knope is a very common name. There's a professor in Copenhagen named Leslie Knope. They probably mean him. Do they mean the professor? Yeah, there's a picture of you also.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Holy mother of Malia! And Sasha. I love them both equally.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "If Chris gets cranky around noon, just stuff some chia seeds into a fig--works every time.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "I told him that One Headlight By the Wallflowers isn't 'dancing' music and he said 'Not with that attitude.'", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "We used to date. Yeah, we lived together for two years. I know, it's crazy, right? Anyways, you're the best. Have fun in Mexico.", "c": ["Andy", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "I'm just so scared that this means that Ann won't really leave.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Maybe one day years from now when we're both old and Chris is dead, you'll run into me somewhere. I'll be opening my latest mega club. I'll see you there on the street by yourself and I'll tell the bouncer/my bodyguard, 'Hey, that woman's way too old to get into this club, but why don't you let her in the back?'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "I have enjoyed parts of our time together.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "This is my contribution. It says 'Ron.'", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Dark forces, arise! Okay, I didn't plan what we were all gonna say. That's my bad.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Just think of us as your genies who can give you anything you want. Nothing gross.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Super fizzy fruity pop. Sorry? Sweetums used to stock our office with free sodas as a promotional thing, but that Kathryn Pinewood lady just took 'em away.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Kathryn Pinewood is the person on earth who hates me the most. Well, luckily, you're with the person on earth who loves you the most.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Sorry, can't help you ladies. I don't have time for disgraced former politicians and unmarried preggos.", "c": ["Kathryn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Yeah, Pinewood, that's right. I'm pregnant and I have you in a headlock. And if you try to fight back, I will sue you.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "When is this town gonna realize that I'm more than a former high school basketball star? I don't think this new sports drink is even about basketball. It's called 'Sweetums dunktastic three-point B-ball blast' the slogan is 'It's all about basketball.'", "c": ["Detlef", "Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "There is such a thing as journalistic integrity, and it is something that I have as a journalist with integrity. It's really important, Perd. Please? Come on. For old time's sake. Well, the story of that appeal is it was heartfelt. And in response to that appeal, I respond: Okay.", "c": ["Perd", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "It was during that 'explore my freedom as a single woman' phase. We just had a drink. And at the end he said, 'I am going to kiss you now by putting my mouth on your mouth.' And then I ran away.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "We tell him we had the perfect gift, but we were robbed at gunpoint. 'Chris, he had a gun. He took all the gifts.' Now Chris feels bad, he's buying us gifts. Next thing you know, Tommy's got a new watch.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Ask not what your country can do for you. From Family Guy, right?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "'Ask not what your country can do for you.' From Family Guy, right?", "c": ["Chris", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "And just the fact that you feel bad about your bag of nothing proves that.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Harold, your tiny brain could not understand this, but that is the best compliment you could ever give the two women standing in front of you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "You have to hiss really loud and stomp your feet so they'll leave you alone. And if one comes close, make yourself really large like a puffer fish.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "You have to hiss really loud and stomp your feet so they'll leave you alone. And if one comes close, make yourself really large like a puffer fish.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Well, Michigan has wolverines. Maybe they'll eat your toes.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "My going-away present to you will be that I do not make you audibly say that you love me.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "It's quarter-sawn zebra wood adjoined by floating tenons to the black walnut corner posts. Finished with a wiping varnish that's a secret Swanson family recipe.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "That's Garry Jerry Larry Gergich Gengurch. I burned in all my names. I really--I didn't know what to do.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Salt water will warp the wood. So keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "But most importantly, you taught me that I can't pull off a tulip skirt. It's just not your shape.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "But most importantly, you taught me that I can't pull off a tulip skirt. It's just not your shape.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "All right, I got my park. That's all I wanted from you. Friendship over.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "All right, I got my park. That's all I wanted from you. Friendship over.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Shotgun! I called shotgun! You're all nailed. I call sitting on your lap. You can't--I--double shotgun! We call double shotgun! How come people don't do that more often? It's illegal.", "c": ["Group"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "Shotgun! I called shotgun! You're all nailed. I call sitting on your lap. You can't--I--double shotgun! We call double shotgun!", "c": ["Andy", "April", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Ann And Chris"}, {"t": "And the groom wore a butt so perfect it could make an angel hang itself.", "c": ["unknown narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "You wrote this, didn't you? - I did. - They cut it way down. - Thank God.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "It's like... Wha-a-a-at?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "She will make that stupid face!", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "the Richard and Lois Wallenberg Foundation Foundation... dedicated to the idea that all human beings deserve a chance to hear about foundations.", "c": ["Radio announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I believe that is the Eagleton-Pawnee merger, n'est-ce pas?", "c": ["August"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I'd like to apologize to our listeners for my co-host's sudden and violent outburst just now.", "c": ["Derry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Leslie, thought... - For your thoughts. I said it. Absorb the aggression, Derry.", "c": ["Derry", "Leslie", "August"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "such a big, quiet, arcane ball of fun", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I haven't seen Pawneeans this mad since Frankie's discontinued their pizza-stuffed-crust pizza.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "It was a pizza whose crust was stuffed with little pizzas. And the crust of those little pizzas was made of chocolate.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Scoff.", "c": ["August"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Did you just say the word 'scoff'?", "c": ["Derry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "This twerp has a name. And it's August N'gutu Liebowitz-Clementine.", "c": ["August"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Like, was it a hypnosis accident or something, where they put Gayle under and made her fall in love with Larry and never said the magic word to snap her out of it?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Um, I work here, so, legally, you can adopt me.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "So, like a banana made of spiders?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I've said it before and I'll say it again, children are terrible artists.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "And artists are crooks.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Why lie? I'm shopping. Back in an hour.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "No, I mean Eagletonians are human garbage. And we should throw them in a dumpster. Kapow!", "c": ["Radio caller"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Well, that's what the merger is. Oh. Yeah, then I hate the merger.", "c": ["Radio caller"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "It's Andy! Hey. I'm on the radio!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "And I talked last. Good day.", "c": ["August"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Because I want to blow up Donna's desk so I can teach her a lesson about what happens when you skip work.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Great first date spot.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Stopped by to adopt a dog, but the employee, Donna Meagle, was nowhere to be found. Thanks for nothing, Donna Meagle. Booooo!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "With five 'O's.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I'm about to hunt you down.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Andy, this is a picture of us. This is a picture of an elderly couple.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Whoo! I'm getting the epiphany sweats.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Just thinking about the new Star Wars sequel. I'm afraid they're gonna rely too heavily on CGI. And I'm carrying it all in my shoulders.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Larry, would you like to get a couples massage with me?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Last time we scared an old person, Larry had a heart attack. That was awesome. He farted so much.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Oh, no, you didn't win any money, you won something better than money. A golden anniversary celebration. So no money.", "c": ["Leslie", "Rosie"], "jt": ["escalation", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I got football cards, and a travel mouthwash.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I'm about to come down on this dude like Thor's hammer Mjolnir. I'm about to go Mjolnir on his ass!", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I watched Enchanted three times to get all the details right. And then another two times, because that movie is amazing.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Good sir, tally ho. God, that... from the movie! That is definitely from the movie.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "They're like the old version of iTunes. We're like the new version of iTunes, baby. We're gonna be here forever. Oh, my God. I'm gonna die someday.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Hey, no touching. This is not your birthday.", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Don't give him any water. He does this annoying thing where every time he takes a drink of water he goes, 'Ah...'", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "She does this annoying thing where every time she takes a drink of water she is an old nag.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Just took some ludes to kind of smooth it out, so I'm right in that sweet spot. Got about 20 minutes before I either get really tired or really horny, so let's roll.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "You look like a leather glove got caught in a lawnmower.", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "You tried to adopt a cat last week and I turned you down, because I thought it was too sad for you to have six cats. Then you tried to blow up my spot online. You're fired.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "You're not my boss, I work for the city attorney's office. You're fired.", "c": ["Kyle", "Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Who's it going to? Canada. It says, 'Dear Canada, you.'", "c": ["Ron", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I had no prospects, and Dougie here had an alcohol problem. Plus the Cold War was happening, and frankly, we all thought we were gonna die.", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Well, I figured I could really tick off my parents by shacking up with some Pawnee trash.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I slept with Sharon in 1979.", "c": ["Doug"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I used to get out of the shower in front of your brother on purpose.", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "They eat, they sleep, they complain, and they watch Family Feud. Oh, my God, I wanna be an old person.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "A vegan is gonna physically attack me? They're basically made of glass.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "It was a review of a funeral home that said 'Great first date spot.'", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Your lipstick looks weird. You're gonna want to shut your mouth right now.", "c": ["April", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Craig Middlebrooks. Samantha in the boardroom, Miranda in the bedroom. I know it's not ideal, but it's who I am.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Donna said she might be able to get Ginuwine. That's given me a reason to live.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I don't... I don't... I don't even... You know what I mean?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "That means she loves it so much she can't speak.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Oh, my eff-ing God.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "I had a guy at the model store make a replica. He's a bigger Game of Thrones fan than you are.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. Yes. No. Yes. No!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Our starship is in trouble. Okay, Leslie, listen. If you're not... if you don't know what you're talking about...", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Anniversaries"}, {"t": "Dear God, woman.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "What are you doing up there in space, baby? Ah! So cute!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, whose baby is that? That would be mine.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Guys, get in here! Ron has a baby!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "John middle name redacted Swanson", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "John was born some time ago, weighing multiple pounds and several ounces", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Much like his father, he is a fan of silence. Please keep your voices down.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Why would you need to know something like that?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "She's just walking around, wondering why I haven't sent her a gift yet.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Just let her tire herself out.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Could one of you please stop by the pet store and pick up some fish food for me? When did you get a fish?", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Um, he dislocates his shoulder to the music of Billy Joel. The Pawnee Journal called it, 'Why would anyone do this?'", "c": ["Madison"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "It was going to be 15, but then this one guy described himself as 'Jackson Pollock-esque' and I told him that's finger painting for adults and I hate it!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Pawnee might once again tolerate-slash-ignore me", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "for a politician it's pretty much the best-case scenario", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "You guys might as well be a pile of leaves because you're about to get blown away.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "'Grant Larson,' otherwise known as Elton John.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "He's basically the Liam Bonneville of the Midwest. Liam Bonneville? The department of the interior's resident bad boy? He's basically the Tim Dweck-- Okay, never mind.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "And that banner unfurling marks the 100th time that one of my projects has been... ahead of schedule.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "besides the unveiling of Tricia's new highlights. You think I wouldn't notice? You look fly as hell, girl!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "I'm gonna do what I do best-- lock down deals. And dork-asaurus over here is gonna handle the boring stuff.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Also, I'm your boss.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "It says 'Property of Pawnee government.' Isn't that adorable?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Today might be the day that I finally crowd surf. I should probably empty my pockets just in case.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "in front of the graffiti that says 'Pawnee, you suck,' or 'Go home, Eagleton snobs'?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "I painted over that graffiti a week ago. These people are the worst!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "I cannot announce a unity concert in front of a picture of a bald eagle giving the middle finger.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "You probably wanna stand to the side so people can see it.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Ahh! Ow. The kool-aid guy makes it look so easy.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "I've taken great pains to see as little of this building as possible. Turns out the third floor is silent, empty, and completely free of government work.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "You guys make my favorite teeth-whitening strips-- pearlies for girlies. It's unisex. The cartoon princess on the label says so.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "I may have a few eggs ready to hatch in the personal idea nest.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Soon I'll have a new career, new crib, new friends. If all goes well, this may be one of the last times I ever have to speak to you.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "I was told there'd be a free barbecue buffet? Just take some beef jerky and...hush!", "c": ["Leslie", "City Council Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Bees! Bees! Oh! Nobody panic! Ohhh, noooo! Ah! It stung me in the eyeball!", "c": ["Various"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "The stupid Eagletonians are totally getting the pwned by these bees. I'm gonna send this straight to tosh.", "c": ["Pawnee Resident"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Don't worry, babe, I'll protect you. I got stung once, I'm immune. Go ahead and sting me, bees. It does nothing.", "c": ["Pawnee Resident"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Plus, one Pawneean was stung... in his mouth because he was laughing at the Eagletonians.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Nice try, prank queen. Probably bees in there.", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "I am trying to fix my bee hole disaster. Wait! No, wait! No! Larry, don't tell him that. Don't mention my bee hole.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "My son is several weeks old. He's quite familiar with the sound of power tools.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Lasik for fingernails? Cut your fingernails once, never have to cut 'em again. All we need is a complicated laser I have no idea how to build.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "'Saltweens!' Saltines for tweens.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Restaurants were ranked number one in Accounting Magazine's 'Riskiest Businesses' issue. That was their last issue before they folded, actually. Magazines are also very risky.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "You're 52 years old! No, I'm not.", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "You would be the middleman between dry cleaners and the companies that sell chemicals... to dry cleaners. Wow! Right? You're right, man. That is not sexy.", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "When he sinks his teeth into something, he's like a dog with a bone! Oh, my God! You can't lean in to whisper and then yell. That's not fair.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Aghh! I can't handle all this fighting. It's like Thanksgiving 2004 all over again! Don't even ask!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "I'm sure the government believed you when you told them that, and I tip my cap to you for profiting off their ignoe. But I'm offering you two months paid vacation and the ability to take credit for my work, which will be flawless.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "We buy tetrachloroethylene at $1.60 a gallon, but we sell it back at 2.38 a gallon. This is so boring! This is like listening to a TED talk by the color beige.", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "What do you got in there for me, some dirty mags? No! These gift baskets are for innocent victims... not for jerks who got stung because they were laughing at other people's pain.", "c": ["Jeremy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "We're live ambushing Leslie Knope who's in the middle of a crass publicity stunt, shoving cameras cameras into the faces of these poor, injured victims.", "c": ["Mike Patterson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "It's to distract people from my black eye. See? It's working.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "I just wanted you to have a brief moment of happiness before you got sadder.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "It's just like a big, fun... stinking turd nugget. It sucks.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Ben! You brought the wrong easel. God! Can't take this guy anywhere.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Liam Bonneville actually used it to humiliate staffers, but... he's kind of a bad boy.", "c": ["Grant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Sunday brunch with scrambled eggs so fluffy they'll be like little pillows for your bacon. Bacon pillows. I like the sound of that.", "c": ["Tom", "Mitch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Hey, kid... your boss here sure knows his stuff.", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Yesterday, I fixed that old steam radiator. Threaded a new valve into the side, removed the handle from the base, unscrewed the packing nut from the stem. This subpar toolbox only had one wrench, so I was lucky it was a three-quarters or I'd have been screwed.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "You like fixing this town, Leslie, you always have. You know it's an uphill battle, but you love the struggle.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "You like fixing this town, Leslie, you always have. You know it's an uphill battle, but you love the struggle.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "What's that? Nothing. Clearing my throat.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Okay, wow, that's very misleading phraseology.", "c": ["Grant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "That's not your hand. Here it is. Sorry, my depth perception is totally screwed up.", "c": ["Leslie", "Grant"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "I know this is a symbolic gesture, but my investor floor is $1,000. So as of now, you own zero shares.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Most people in this world, John, are ass[bleep]. This is the best day I've ever spent in a government building, and luckily my son was here to share it with me.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "He now has that satisfied look that only comes with the pride of labor. Or he pooped. Either way, well done, John.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Wall"}, {"t": "Hey, look a panda!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Wait, the panda's name is Peebo. Peebo.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Look, you can even play ping-pong. - What? - I want to play!", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Ben. This is truly a fine panda game you made. Well done.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "What's wrong with you? You look like Meryl Streep at the end of Ironweed.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "You wish.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I got nothing to show for, except for four car accidents. All these strangers' insurance information.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Ooh, I get it, you have car insurance. Why don't you brag about it?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "But I'm boycotting until the owner apologizes for what she said to me at the dog park.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "But I've never been because it's mostly middle-aged women and I'm allergic to turkey neck.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Really? That's the best part. We should split a turkey sometime.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "This is like the parks equivalent of Bruce Springsteen pulling Courtney Cox onstage.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "but I'm sure you hear that a lot.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Good! I hate paperwork. I hardly ever do it in my bed on a Saturday night while listening to old spice girls CDs.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I'm kind of like a skinny, handsome, Indian Mario Batali... who doesn't know how to cook.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "A Larry voodoo doll? Tom, that's so sweet. Thanks.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Ow! Oh, my gosh! I didn't even do anything. The voodoo doll is reading my thoughts.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "No. No, we're not gonna do that. We're gonna sit forward and take it hard.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "And then there is Glenwater, Florida, home of America's most violent Walmart parking lot.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "But you can't out-run the whale meat police forever.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Mr. Strange Cameraman Who I Never Met.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Leslie, I told you, I'm not gonna participate in your weird Julia Roberts, cameraman husband fantasy.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "And a slogan is a series of words that have a meaning.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Well, the story of my interest level is: It's medium.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "What do you think about Juan Callamezzo? Isn't 'Juan' a man's name? No, it means 'flower.' I think it means 'John.'", "c": ["Joan", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Follow-up question, Leslie, show us your boobs!", "c": ["The Douche"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "A smooth and silky evening to you all. On nights like this, when the cold winds blow, and the air is awash in the swirling eddies of our dreams, come with me and find safe haven...in a warm bathtub full of my jazz.", "c": ["Ron/Duke Silver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "The current leader is 'Pawnee, welcome to Douche nation.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "If I we're a dictator, I would throw the Douche in prison without a trial. I would be a very strong dictator, and you would be my bodyguard, and you would lead my army.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "But I'm starting to get kind of turned on imagining you as a dictator, is that bad?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Backwards hat...shows a real lack of respect for authority. I like that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I'm just psyched to be in the studio, you know? I'm just...chillin' in the studes with my dudes.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "First of all, I would rate her acting as an 'A.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "You have three seconds to answer or we're gonna withdraw a donation from charity.", "c": ["Crazy Ira/The Douche"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I have a twin brother.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "You are, like, the saxophone player for the California-raisins-good.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "If my secret got out, this office would be waist-deep in women's undergarments.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "This is my mom's dumper!", "c": ["The Douche"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I never knew that objectifying women could be so much fun.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Or you know what would also be kind of dope for the people of Douche nation to do? It's vote for another slogan. Like, you know, 'Storied past, bright future'? But...I don't care. I don't give a fart, bros.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Lesbo Baggins, you know where my stick is? You... Oh! Found my stick. Oh, where did you find it? Up Leslie Knope's butt!", "c": ["Crazy Ira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.58, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I am ending my secret musical career. I have to kill Duke Silver.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "May you rest...in jazz.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah. I voted for that one.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "You opened another dinosaur-themed restaurant? No, another Steven Spielberg-themed restaurant. The German place downtown... Schindler's Lunch.", "c": ["Tom", "Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I think you may have misunderstood what people liked about Jurassic Fork.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "No can do. That's a load-bearing T-Rex.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Look what they did to Peebo. He's wearing a hat made of penises.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "have I really pulled my last bloated raccoon carcass from a public fountain?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I somehow ran my belt through a slat in this chair so I'm kind of...I'm kind of stuck to it now.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "When they say 2% milk, I don't know what the other 98% is.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I once threw beer at a swan, and then it attacked my niece Rebecca.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "I think the slogan should be 'Pawnee, home of crackers, the orangest goldfish in Indiana.'", "c": ["Unknown citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "'Who even needs a slogan?' And then a big picture of me flipping everybody off.", "c": ["Unknown citizen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "That should be 'then', t-h-e-n. Back off. 'You're' is spelled wrong. It should be 'y-o-u-r.' Oops, I didn't catch it. Thank you. No, no, no, she made a possessive. She's getting further away.", "c": ["Multiple citizens", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Then I'm sure you are okay with the fact that they installed the sign the wrong way and it's welcoming you to Pawnee as you're leaving.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Leslie, I love you, very much. But this is the stupidest thing you've ever said.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "Hey, are we leaving or entering? We've been driving around in circles.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "New Slogan"}, {"t": "The only thing I am crazy about is a magnificent, pregnant manta ray named Ann Perkins.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I can talk about Sandra Bullock skirt length.", "c": ["Chris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "No, no, babe, you can't--you would just embarrass yourself. Plus, every time I start talking to you, five seconds later, I want to jump your bones.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I always knew there would be a day when I would get through to you and you would love government work. Today is that historic day.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Yes. That is what has happened.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Spending the day outside alone sounds like a dream.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss. Silence, the absence of noise, one single moment undisturbed by the sounds of a children's TV program called Doc McStuffins.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "There is no quiet anymore. There is only Doc McStuffins.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Shotgun on all rides for the rest of the day. For the rest of my life. In any car! Ha ha! I just faced you suckers!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "It's a business theory I'm working on.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I don't have my straightforward deal fedora on me. We gotta stop by my storage unit on the way up.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Remember you said that when Larry's farting up the car.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "And frankly, I don't care who knows that I said that, as long as no one knows that I said that.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Ugh! God, why'd you let me say all that?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Listen to me very carefully. I have not been taken. I know that's always your first fear when I'm not available, but this is not a Liam Neeson Taken scenario.", "c": ["Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "That's exactly what they'd make you say.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "What's good, baby? What's going down in Donna town? What's the haps in Meagle-wood?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I'm listening to Jaleel Or No Deal. It's a podcast where the kid who played Urkel reviews old Deal Or No Deal episodes. It's pointless, and I love it.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "What's the 411, little mama? What's the hot goss? Who you crushing on these days?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Ew, my husband, weirdo.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You sound like a tampon commercial.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Wait, I thought you weren't gonna do Galentine's day this year because that she-beast moved away. I believe her name was Satan?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Side note, do not Google that phrase.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You know, like, when you go to the ATM and you get money, is there an actual guy standing behind the wall who slides dollar bills in there?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "It's robots.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "In the movie Predator, can you rub any kind of mud on yourself to prevent predator from seeing you with his thermal heat signature sight, or is it more--", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Oh, whoa. Five-second rule. No, ahh.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Larry. Your tuna fish sandwich stunk up my suit.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I got over 1,300 tents in this warehouse alone. 900 of those are over 2,000 square feet, 80 of 'em are striped, and exactly 4 of 'em were once rented by Miss Rene Russo.", "c": ["Harvey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I was gonna go with my boyfriend, but he couldn't come because he decided to stay with his wife.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Where do you think I got that crystal Buddha head above my jacuzzi?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Shauna Malwae-Tweep. Pretty, fragile, makes terrible life decisions. A real fixer-upper, but look, it's not like Ann was doing so hot when I met her.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "And then we got Evelyn, aka fake Ann. I don't know her last name. Honestly we just needed bodies.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Just for fun. Nothing serious. But please answer them with complete honesty 'cause I'll be able to tell if you're lying.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Well, for live tweeting, it's Scandal. For binge watching, it's Scandal. But for fashion, it's actually Scandal. My answer is Scandal.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Ooh, I love watching Russian traffic accidents on YouTube while I play children's music at the wrong RPM.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I like beauty pageants. Everyone is so happy and perfect.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I like Diagnosis Murder. And skin flicks.", "c": ["Ethel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "The correct answer for favorite TV show is Friday Night Lights.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "It costs extra to have people inside the tents? And what's a flap tax?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Well, you need flaps, bro. A tent without flaps is basically a parachute.", "c": ["Harvey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Shh. Keep your voice down, please, there's tents here.", "c": ["Harvey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Now, look, you can argue with me all you want, but for every line item that you two idiots disagree with, there's gonna be a $50 discussion surcharge.", "c": ["Harvey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "What's the price now? $80 more. I liked it better the other way. Does have an effect, though.", "c": ["Tom", "Harvey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Do you know what my social security number is? Or if I'm allergic to anything? I don't like corn. Should I put that down? Or will that be confusing? Because I do like candy corn.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "All I wanted was two hours where I got to forget that I was a parent.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Ron, look. I found all three differences. Those are two completely different pictures.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I've gotten two annulments. One for pleasure, and one to cap off a long con I was running against Keith Sweat.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I'm writing a memoir based on my blog. It's called Tweeping Up Appearances, and it's about my journey to find happiness by smiling through the pain.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "It's simply a way for me to figure out which one of you is the best.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You're better than that, Knope.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Gayle always has me do the windshield. She likes to stand behind me and watch. According to her, it's the best view.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I'm just not used to people from the office asking me things. It's kind of scary. But in a good way, though.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yeah, it was loud. Smells like a hippopotamus took a dump on a skunk.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Well, my grandmother was missing that tooth, and she was the most beautiful woman on her oil rig.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Like a cool uncle, but old. Like a grandpa. But cool like a son.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "That's right, dickweed. You wanna talk deal? Because my prices have gone up ever so slightly since I saw you last.", "c": ["Harvey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Tent Town, Rent Ten Tents, the Tent Offensive, and Ace Tentura Tent Detective.", "c": ["Harvey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "You've reached the Tentagon. How can I help you, buttface?", "c": ["Harvey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Although, when I was in college I found out that my dad had a second family. Well, we were the second family, technically.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Although there is a tiny part of me that always thought it was just Chris talking into a mirror.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I don't know, I read a book once that said a woman should never make the first move. / That doesn't apply to therapy. Okay. Good luck!", "c": ["Shauna", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I mean, you're always beautiful, but right now you are the most beautiful, glowing sun goddess ever.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Fine. Let me just wolf down this peanut brittle real quick. Why would you do that? Oh, right. 'Cause calories.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "It's called Sweaty Roger's Pants Tent. Oh, no, you can't rent tents there.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Never thought I would say it, but I'm a genius for making you stay outside and do a menial task.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Nobody can match your ethnic hybrid energy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Yeah, 'cause Riggins is a criminal. He took the fall for his brother. Okay, he didn't watch out for his brother.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I almost bought a toe ring the other day. What? Ann, you're somebody's mother.", "c": ["Leslie", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "When it's all said and done, there were a few mazes I'd cheated on. Also, the inside of my mouth is black and hot.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "So do I strip down to my underwear, or all the way naked?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "So do I strip down to my underwear, or all the way naked?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I've won two online satellite Jamaican poker tournaments. I can tell that you're bluffing.", "c": ["Harvey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I am. And I was bluffing about winning those tournaments.", "c": ["Harvey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "God! Can you just be cool for one second?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Like a solid B-minus.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "We love your crazy ass too, Knope. / I think you're fine. Like a solid B-minus.", "c": ["Donna", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Hi, Leslie. It's Ann. I love you, and everything's gonna be okay.", "c": ["Build-A-Bear"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Mm, you touch me and I stab the bunny.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "I'm just an impartial bunny, but I think Ann sucks. Also-- I'm the zodiac killer.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Okay, well, that's funny, 'cause I'm terribly allergic to pistachios.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "He is a good friend and a fine man with an inexplicably gorgeous wife-- I mean, to the point where it makes no sense at all.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "O, captain, my captain.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "Got so startled I tooted.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Galentines Day"}, {"t": "God! Sorry! Sorry! What's happening? I can't hear! And I'm dying!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Will you go to prom with me? Well, this just keeps getting weirder.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Which reminds me, I need to learn Latin.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Legend has it that he can still turn on a microwave just by blinking at it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Well, I thought you'd never ask, because we're nearing 40.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Aw, did you want to DJ, little puppy? I didn't know that little puppies could operate an iPod with their little puppy paws.", "c": ["Tom", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Eew and boo. This kind of thing is getting out of hand with you two.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I had a show called 'Zoot Suit Wyatt' on Carleton College radio. Tuesdays from 3:00 to 5:00 A.M., I was the king of swing.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I thought we as a culture agreed to forget the year that everyone was into swing.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Are those jense-trodder color tabs? I thought those were discontinued. They were. I had to order them through some Mexican back channels. Juan Julio Oficina Supplies?", "c": ["Leslie", "Allison"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "What is happening right now?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer one simple question: Is it a banger?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I once accidentally downloaded a Lumineers song. I had to throw away my whole computer just to be safe.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I hope that high school auditorium's big enough, 'cause I'm bringing 10,000 maniacs.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Sometimes it's really hard to be friends with you.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "DJ Robo Drop. \u266a Ba-da-da, mm, mm, mm, mm-mm \u266a", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Or, no, we can't, because they moved to prison.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Prom is nothing but a huge party full of smiling, dancing people enjoying themselves. It's literally my worst nightmare.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "And I hate punch.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "\u266a Sarah Wei--April Ludgate \u266a", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Fine. I'll go with you, because Leslie's making us, and we live together, and we only have one car right now because you laked mine.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "What does 'laked' mean? I tried to jump it over a lake.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "We here at the parks department have something called 'The April Ludgate Summer Solstice Druid Festival and Buffalo Wings Eating Contest.' I don't know why I let her name it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Is there some secret society for the greatest humans on earth? Do you meet Tom Hanks and Elena Kagan in the Statue of Liberty's crown?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "God, this fake club I'm inventing is amazing.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "What brings you to the festering putrid stink hole on the armpit of freedom? That's what he calls city hall.", "c": ["Ron", "Allison"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Why don't you shut your mustache?", "c": ["Allison"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Oh, really? Is it worth a few bucks to get a million splinters in your fingers and then cut off your fingers accidentally, 'cause that will happen.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I once did him a favor. I built his sawmill.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "And if Ron tries to stop me, he can eat a big ol' bowl of butts.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "If you don't show up in a limo, legally, they can't let you in.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Who's Orin? I'm April's mom.", "c": ["April", "April's mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Where's my Yeezus Mountain?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "How am I supposed to keep my Husker Du albums in near-mint condish?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you throw them in the garbage?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "By the time I got my Armani suit pressed and got the little dimple on my tie just right, it was 11:45 P.M.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "My date was pretty pissed, but, uh, I looked fly as hell.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Oh, did he? I didn't even notice. No bigs.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I attended prom with Susan Hofler. Picked her up in my truck, we slow-danced to a Merle Haggard song, and then I left early to go to my shift at the quarry. I was 12 years old.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Like flowers on the sunset of an eagle's poetry.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "It's like the movie Expendables 2. First time, hated it. Second time, hated it. Third time, it was okay. But then the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, tenth time I watched it, I realized something. It's just--it's not good. It's not a good movie.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Um, I'm gonna go to the girls' bathroom to check the trash cans for babies, but you can dance if you want.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "The stuff you're playing is so old, it's probably trinking on grizzledump. Hey, what's grizzledump? And why is trinking on it bad?", "c": ["High schooler", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "What's grizzledump, Ben? What's grizzledump?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Ron. You've ruined prom. Everybody's having a terrible time.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I was dating an older fella back then. Like I'm gonna dance with a bunch of kids while he's coaching Duke to the final four.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "How can I love someone when I hate everything he loves? That's not true. He loves a lot of dumb stuff, but he loves you the most.", "c": ["April", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I just spoke with Tim Hautner from the sawmill on my mobile telephone, and he's offering Allison a paying job.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "First of all, your telephone is ridiculous.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I wouldn't say 'harassing' so much as persistently tormenting.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I think the only thing that matters is whatever A-pluses may or may not have been handed out, you know, are still in effect in perpetuity.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "You're gonna take this internship. You're gonna fall in love with public service. You're gonna rise through the ranks. You'll take over Ron's job as parks director. You'll win a seat in congress, and then you and I will run against each other as president, but right before we find out who won, I'm gonna pat you on the back and say, 'It's your turn, kid.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "And if this is the evening you decide to have sex, use protection, please!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Sorry. Tried to use slang. That just came out.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Where'd you get that dress? I was buried in it.", "c": ["Student", "April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Because this prom reminds me that... you had, like, a million friends in high school and everyone thought you were awesome, and I spent four years making fun of everyone and hiding mops so the janitor would think he was going insane.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I have never told you this, but I actually have a ten-point scale for how insane you are being. I observe your behavior, and if it's a five or below, I say nothing.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Smart. Saves a lot of time.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "They wrote all the team names in pink. Nobody told them to do that.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Blueprints for the future are a fool's errand. They're like blueprints for a house. Nice to have, but any foreman with half a brain doesn't need to look at them.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Damn it. I just wish once you would say something stupid so I could ignore it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "What? I broke the box, and I threw away all the votes, and I voted for you a thousand times.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "He's 33, and I'm 47/immortal.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "High school forever!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "I rigged an election and got kicked out of prom. I can get on board with that.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "My life is over. I'm officially old and uncool. Might as well start wearing a plaid shirt and a tie and khakis and whatever shoes you're wearing.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "How else do you explain their terrible haircuts?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Yeah. You're old as shit.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Get her away from me, or I'm gonna kidnap her and try to mentor her to death.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Greg Pikitis. What up, Knope?", "c": ["Greg", "Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Offer is off the table. She's a terrible person with terrible judgment.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Prom"}, {"t": "Martin's celebrity impressions performance - doing Quentin Tarantino, John Malkovich, Tommy Lee Jones, and George W. Bush in rapid succession", "c": ["Martin", "Unknown Interviewer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"Who are any of those people?\"", "c": ["Unknown Interviewer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Leslie's obsessive task completion personality revealed through checking off auditions", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Perd's slam poetry: \"I am speaking the slam poem to you right now with my mouth\"", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"I cannot tell the difference between what's supposed to be slam poetry and what's just him talking\"", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"My Second Slam Poem by Perd Hapley, by Perd Hapley\"", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Andy confusing vitamins: \"Is that the Fred one or the Barney one?\"", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"Pawnee is like a breeding ground for disease due to our poor hygiene habits and raccoon density\"", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"We used to crown Miss Influenza every year. The CDC called the pageant 'ethically reprehensible'\"", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Larry quarantined in a tent: \"The tent is your home now, Larry. We already forwarded your mail\"", "c": ["Leslie", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"Chippmunks. Because of the animal? No, that's too simple\"", "c": ["Leslie", "Unknown Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Chipp McCapp's song lyrics: \"She don't care about no fancy trends / She's just a mom from old South Bend\"", "c": ["Chipp McCapp"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Tom's sommelier recruitment strategy: \"People that convince other people to buy expensive stuff they don't need. Those are the real heroes\"", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ben's wine knowledge: \"I studied botany for three years at Purdue University. Go, Boilermakers!\"", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Tom's guest list complaints: \"I started with two cool people and I ended up with a bunch of grandpas\"", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"How would we embarrass you?\" \"You're already doing it. I begged you\"", "c": ["Unknown Character", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Leslie's wish list: \"Bob Dylan's friends\"", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Land Ho album title: \"We'll Never Reunite\"", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Xander described as \"the Bruno Mars of Indiana amateur wine tasting\"", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Xander's nasal preparation: \"I pour saline water through my nose to clear the mucus from my smell centers\"", "c": ["Xander"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "April's motivation: \"I wanted to make fun of stupid people while I get drunk. My two true passions\"", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "April claiming to study at \"The Wine Academy in Bordeaux\"", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Craig paying with \"debit rewards card\" to prove wine knowledge", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ron's color spectrum drinking rule: \"I don't drink alcohol from that portion of the color spectrum\"", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Andy's first aid confusion: \"I know first aid. Or karate\" / \"That's not first aid\" / \"It is if you do it right\"", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Leslie's medicine request: \"The Mariah-needs-to-sing-tonight stuff\"", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Pharmacist's amateur diagnosis: \"Could be aseptic meningitis. What is that? Is that bad? It'd mean you have, like, an hour to live. What? It's probably not that. Sorry, it's my first day\"", "c": ["Pharmacist"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Andy's candy math: holding one large candy and saying \"This counts as one\"", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ron's wine venting timer: \"You may vent for as long as it takes me to drink this bottle of wine\"", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ron's terrible counseling feedback: \"You are a wonderful guy, and I admire many things about you. But you're a terrible person to discuss personal problems with\"", "c": ["Ben", "Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ron's positive response: \"Thank you, friend. That really means a lot to me\"", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "April's wine description: \"It's like a Charlie Brown Halloween special\" because of pumpkin notes", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Craig's elaborate wine description: \"dried robin's blood, old, dirty cashews from your grandfather's basement, and just a hint of a robot's bathwater\"", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "April's wine review: \"That one sucks\"", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ben's wine origin: \"This comes from your mother's butt. Possibly your father's butt. Oh, actually, wait, never mind, this is so embarrassing. This comes from John McEnroe's butt from the year 3055\"", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ben's drunk phone call: \"it's your me. It's wife. It's Leslie. Knope\"", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Leslie's random statements: 'my teeth are blue. Blueberries...' 'I was just saying to Ron that my dog's Jewish'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"It's as dead as Stanley Kubrick. I miss them both so much, Ron\"", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ron's walking direction: \"Home is that way\" pointing completely wrong direction", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Tom's Montreal Expo dating claim: \"I picked up a little French-Canadian when I dated that Montreal Expo\"", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"don't act like you don't know the word 'thing'\"", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Craig's wine recommendations: \"Something bold and dry, like David Sedaris\"", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"This is that wine\" - connecting wine to movie murder scenes", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Chipp's diva behavior with LunchStacks: \"Cheese on top, or no one gets paid\"", "c": ["Chipp"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "April's wine philosophy: \"I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same. And if you spend more than $5 on wine, you are very stupid\"", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "April's Eddie Murphy acceptance speech: \"Norbit, uh, Pluto Nash, all the Klumps\"", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Tom's offer negotiation: \"I'll double whatever he's paying you\" \"$500,000 a year?\" \"I will pay you one-tenth of whatever he's paying you\"", "c": ["Tom", "Xander"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"this wine bottle is all out of the wine\"", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"Am I?\" response to \"Are you a ghost?\" and philosophical time discussion", "c": ["Ron Dunn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Chipp's casual city insult: \"They sure ain't buying toothpaste. Bunch of dirty hicks\"", "c": ["Chipp"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Chipp shooting paintball at his father: \"If I want to shoot a paintball gun at my dad, I'm going to do it\" followed by \"Good shot, son. I'm proud of you\"", "c": ["Chipp", "Skip"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Leslie's revenge: \"when you shook my hand earlier, there was pee on my palms\" followed by Andy: \"You get pee-palm, too? Every time!\"", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Andy's pregnancy confusion: \"I thought you were getting a dog\" and dog petting gesture explanation", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "\"She's gettin' a dog!\" Andy announcing Leslie's pregnancy wrong to waitress", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ron Dunn's mystical wine knowledge: \"The Wamapoke called it 'mattapiqua.' They believed it had mystical powers\"", "c": ["Ron Dunn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Role-playing therapy assignment: \"I'll be your father. And, Ron, you take the role of Ben's anger\"", "c": ["Ron Dunn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Craig's emotional breakdown: \"I'm going to go home, put on a Macy Gray album, and cry in the mirror!\"", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Other Ron volunteering to play Ben's anger while Ron Dunn plays his father", "c": ["Ron Swanson", "Ron Dunn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Craig's intensity promise: \"I'll bring it down 1,000 notches if I have to!\"", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Andy's SAT strategy: \"Same way I got a perfect score on the SATs. Broken Scantron machine\"", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "The elaborate Karate Chop Master song performance and Scott joining in", "c": ["Andy", "Scott", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Customer's wine order: 'I'm having fish, so maybe a full-bodied red? And bring some ice cubes. I like ice cubes in my red wine.'", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Tom's embarrassed realization about private phone calls being overheard", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ben's spirit animal skepticism vs. revelation: \"Because it doesn't exist because that's nonsense because you're an adult\" then \"Baby snow owl\"", "c": ["Ben", "Ron Dunn"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Andy's continued dog confusion: \"You're gonna need a cage, a water bowl... You have a good vet? Tick medicine\"", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ron Dunn's philosophical life advice ending with \"will you fly?\"", "c": ["Ron Dunn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "Ben's honest reaction: \"Yeah, I don't feel any better. I'm still angry. Damn it\"", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Flu Season 2"}, {"t": "It's a long story, but the short version is, I'm currently catfishing Anthony Kiedis.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "if I'm gonna perform Islands In the Stream with a Sacagawea hologram", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "No, but my brain is about to explode from stress.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "That's exactly what I told Kyle when he told me his wife was cheating on him.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "He's in Witness Protection.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "[Shouts] What? Ron Swanson asking for help?", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Keep your voice down, woman!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "He's my Tammy.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Tammy two once seduced a coroner and had me declared legally dead just so she could get a discount on a plane ticket.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I go insane.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I understand this problem well and agree to this exchange of services.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Someone say 'Saperstein'? Come on, you two. Let's saddle you up and put some jelly on the belly.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "He's a little weird.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Oh, I forgot, other hand. Crap.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "You get twice the secrets.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "You're acting weird. Excuse me. I have to get back to work now.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I'm getting a picture of you volunteering at a public elementary school in case I ever need to blackmail you.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "My name is Ron Swanson. I am Donna's work-proximity associate.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I'm onto you, friend. Tread lightly.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "The baby has two bodies?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "And here's a fourth. I'm so sorry, no. It's a little fleck of cream cheese on the screen.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Wow, you guys really dodged a bullet. Can you imagine raising four children at one time? Ha, a nightmare.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "If we do this right, we can be parents to 1/3 of the supreme court!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "It's what we doctors like to call-- and I don't mean to be insensitive-- a going-out-of-business sale.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "how-- what do we do?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Leslie, I need you to be Buddha on quaaludes, and, Ben, you are Matthew McConaughey in a hammock on the beach.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "All right, all right. All right.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I just multiplied all our future expenses by three, and you know what happened? The numbers got a lot higher.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I think I heard the computer laugh at me.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Oh, I will be there in two flaps of a butterfly's wing, and I love you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "We are so [bleep] screwed.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Look, I hate it when my students are upset, so I just went out, driving around. I checked a few neighborhood parks. It took barely six hours.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I got so many kids from different women, I just get all of their birthdays out of the way one day a year.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "That gives us 15 minutes of travel time and 15 minutes for you to take a wet-nap shower in the car.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "It's about Larry. He is very sick. He has some kind of disease.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Yes, that's the reason. Good call, babe.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Our first item up for bid is two all-access V.I.P. passes to the unity concert. Let's start the bidding at $40.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "We're all just calm and happy people enjoying ourselves together on earth.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I don't have the gavel, so I'm powerless. I respect the hierarchy of the auction!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Leslie is already the queen of stress, so I have to be like her stress shamwow. I wrap myself around her, I soak up all of her stress, and then after the kids are born, someone can squeeze me out into a bucket.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Without having to reset the fence.", "c": ["Ron", "Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Do you remember the time when you put sleeping pills in my soda? I fell right over in the middle of a town hall meeting.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "You made a video of it and showed it at my birthday party.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Yeah, um, I have got an itch that I have not been able to get to all day, and even against the wall, nothing will do it.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "A very wealthy and elegant-looking woman with a diamond-encrusted eye patch just raised her hand.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "The sheik has thrown his hat into the ring.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "3,000, says the gentleman with the crazy hat and a monkey on his shoulder.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Well, earlier today, I was licking icing off of my finger, and then, boom, I swallow my wedding ring.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "It's just a matter of getting out the old colander.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Just think about all their great songs, covering everything from the culture of Southern California to drug use in Southern California.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Why would you erase the signatures?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I'm more of a Jack Johnson guy.", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "It's not even the original lineup.", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "You have very weak hands.", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "You know the EMT said that if flea had sent you his bass, you could've lost a thumb.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "When we're together, all we do is have sex, sit on the couch, eat homemade pasta, have sex again.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "It's a nightmare. I become boring.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Don't confuse drama with happiness.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "They're moving again to China...town in France.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I noticed that your right rear tire was a little flat, so I patched it, and I inflated it for you.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I'll wear that red thing when you deserve to see me in that red thing.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I mean, hey, you're looking at a woman who just hit triple cherries in her uterus.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Half of my tuition was paid for by the Indiana scholarship for pretty blondes who like to read. It's now called the Virginia Woolf prize--different time.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "We spent too much money on macaroons.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I am immune to stress because I have you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Ron is King Sparkle of Cupcake Forest.", "c": ["Children"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "You're King Sparkle of Cupcake Forest. It suits you.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Yes, I did it! I kept a secret.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "I'm sure you will both raise a wonderful child with whom I will profoundly disagree on nearly everything.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "First my cousin Winona gets into a car accident the night my one-man show opens, and now this? Why are my accomplishments always overshadowed?", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "One In 8,000"}, {"t": "Can't believe Michael Bay spent a billion dollars of his own money to build that for The Rock.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I can't believe you were able to recite that entire movie, from memory, on the plane ride.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "What happens at a National Parks Conference is compiled and emailed to you in a PDF the following Monday.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "They give tours. / Yeah. That's exactly how they'll be expecting me to try to break in.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Wow. I've never worked hard on anything. What a cool life!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "From now on, everyone call me Kristen. Because I am wigging out right now!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "It says 'Tom's bi.' Actually, no, that's good. We're ready.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Liam Bonneville? The Department of the Interior's resident bad boy?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "No idea.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "So, you can just get your hair cut in the lobby at Gryzzl, huh?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "we're more like Dayton. But with your help, we can become Toledo.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "We don't like to say the word 'no'... No. ...So instead, let me say, 'Nah, bro.'", "c": ["Gryzzl exec"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Check it out, guys, all done. Only made, like, 12 mistakes.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Dwayne 'The Rock' Swanson.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Who do you think I am, Thomas Hucker?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I've never asked you for anything today.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I made a poster of you by blowing up your picture from the National Parks newsletter. I cut out your face and made it look like you were dunking over Charles Barkley.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "It wasn't bad.", "c": ["Liam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I don't know, I can't... Can I high-five you?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Huh. I thought he was gonna be on it.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "What? Why didn't you lead with that?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I don't know! Liam Bonneville has me in a tizzy!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "What is this, a rotten grapefruit? / No, it's my dog's rectum.", "c": ["Tom", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Larry. Larry. Larry. Listen to me. This is the worst thing you've ever done.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "It was too perfect. It looked machine-made.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "we could tell them that there's buried treasure in Pawnee, and then, after they give us the free WiFi, we tell them that the treasure was love all along.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Every time someone in Pawnee clicks through a slideshow of American Music Award red carpet sideboob fails, they'll say, 'Thank you, Ben Wyatt.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "There can't be an alchemist of the Hinterlands. The Hinterlands is a shadow kingdom that can only sustain a provost or a denier.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "You lost your cityhood?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Which is it? Fruity or earthy? It can't be both, they're mutually exclusive!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "A man without a palate isn't a man.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Guess I have to start over. Who wants to go look for trees with me?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, man! We did it! This whole company is ours! / Oh, no, it's not. That's mine. That's mine. It's all mine.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Today we have spaghetti, linguine, fettuccine, ravioli, rigatoni, bucatini, lasagna... Ferrari, Lamborghini, bucatini, lasagna.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "We had to throw our menus away because they are covered with pictures of Larry's dog's rectum.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "We just have to apply a salve to his anus every hour for the rest of his life, but... Oh! Enjoy your meal!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I mean, people are playing with my cones, babe.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I wanna stay and go. I mean, how far along are we on human cloning? Wasn't Dolly the sheep like 20 years ago? It's like, 'What the hell, scientists? Get it together!'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I love quitting. When I was a kid and things didn't go my way, I would just take my ball and go home. That's better than winning, 'cause then, your friends can't play anymore!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Well, I hate doing work, but I love being flattered, so maybe I'll give it another try.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Because you currently owe me $16,000. For the wood. The labor was free, but the wood was a bargain. At $16,000.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "So, what does your gut tell you? / I'm never gonna be able to decide. I'm gonna be paralyzed by hypotheticals until I die here, in this minivan! At the San Francisco airport.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Wait. I'm on Endor. These are the redwoods George Lucas used to create the forest moon of Endor.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "No, I don't. I'm sorry. That was weird. Okay, bye. / This is Lester Kanopf. / No, you know... Okay. Bye. / Smoothly handled, Lester.", "c": ["Leslie", "Grant"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "She wanted to fire me, but she realized that she loved having me around too much, and she couldn't do it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Did someone call for a party zoo?", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "All right, so we got a four-way going with my ex, my brother, and this rando? Okay, if that's where the night is going. It's 9:00 in the morning.", "c": ["Mona Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Oh... Now you remember that I got beat up. Yeah.", "c": ["Mona Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I wanna go horseback riding! / Deal.", "c": ["Mona Lisa", "Craig"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "You're right, the name is too long, I was picturing bigger hats.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Only a moron would ever live anywhere other than Pawnee, Indiana. Leslie Knope, multiple occasions.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I ordered a small cheeseburger and both the buns were pizzas.", "c": ["The Decemberists"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Judge gave me two ankle bracelets. Said it was the first time he ever had to do that. Ja boy's a question on the bar exam! Ya heard!", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Judge gave me two ankle bracelets. Said it was the first time he ever had to do that. Ja boy's a question on the bar exam! Ya heard!", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Damn, Donna, why you gotta bring the Quackson Five into this?", "c": ["Ginuwine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "No, just trolling for some daddy. Sorry, I pronounced that wrong. I'm trolling for some dad-dy.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "And I will defeat you right into my pants.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "And I will defeat you right into my pants.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Have you lost your mind? / Guys, this is the most important night of my life. Which means it's the most important night of your lives, too.", "c": ["Leslie", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "What? Larry's great.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I'll have the 'Joan.' It's a tumbler of gin and it's got crushed aspirin around the rim.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "I wonder if the carpet is as curly as the drapes.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Let's get divorced! That way we can get married again! Yes! Let's do it.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "It's what I call selfies of other people.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "They're just gonna make each other so miserable.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "And by the way, don't think that we are not discussing Duke Silver. When were you going to tell me about that? Unbelievable. I am so furious at you. But I've already forgiven you and you need to teach me how to play the saxophone.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "When were you going to tell me about that? Unbelievable. I am so furious at you. But I've already forgiven you and you need to teach me how to play the saxophone.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Also, can you bring back Power Rangers? I don't know what it is you do, but you seem important enough to get that done.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Ed, you're a nice guy, but you're the most incompetent person I've ever worked with. And that includes Terry. / Jeez. Get it together, Terry.", "c": ["Leslie", "Terry"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Ed, you're a nice guy, but you're the most incompetent person I've ever worked with. And that includes Terry. Jeez. Get it together, Terry.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Moving Up (1)"}, {"t": "Can't believe Michael Bay spent a billion dollars of his own money to build that for The Rock.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I couldn't tell, 'cause you had that mask thing over your eyes.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "What happens at a National Parks Conference is compiled and emailed to you in a PDF the following Monday.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "They give tours. Yeah. That's exactly how they'll be expecting me to try to break in.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Wow. I've never worked hard on anything. What a cool life!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "From now on, everyone call me Kristen. Because I am wigging out right now!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "They're not even done painting that sign. It says 'Tom's bi.'", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Actually, no, that's good.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "...rise from hell fire!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "That's mine. Sorry, Lester. Yours is right here.", "c": ["Grant"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "The Department of the Interior's resident bad boy?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "No idea.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Six months ago, I was working in a taco truck. Now, I own one-third of the Portland Trailblazers.", "c": ["Gryzzl Executive"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "In fact, a lot of people go to the library just to order pizza online.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Sure, obviously, we're no Akron. I mean, we're more like Dayton. But with your help, we can become Toledo.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "So instead, let me say, 'Nah, bro.'", "c": ["Gryzzl Executive"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, wow, the stripes are so wavy. It's really...", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Who do you think I am, Thomas Hucker?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I've never asked you for anything today.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I cut out your face and made it look like you were dunking over Charles Barkley.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "It wasn't bad.", "c": ["Liam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I didn't take any photos. What? Grant, come on!", "c": ["Leslie", "Grant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "You are from Chicago, so you like it!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I agree with you on all things. Throughout history. Until the end of time, forever.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I'm getting louder and now I can't stop! My apologies!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I thought he was gonna be on it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "What? Why didn't you lead with that?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I don't know! Liam Bonneville has me in a tizzy!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "This is not government work. As such, I treat it with care and attention.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "No. Can't I just stay in the back and spit in people's food like we planned?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "My sinuses are on the fritz, and smell is 90% of taste! Maybe 95!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Fine, but if he raises his voice once, once, I'm out.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "No, it's my dog's rectum.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Lord Sheldon has a growth, so we're sending pictures over to the vet.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "This is the worst thing you've ever done.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "It was too perfect. It looked machine-made.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Ooh, we could tell them that there's buried treasure in Pawnee, and then, after they give us the free WiFi, we tell them that the treasure was love all along.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Every time someone in Pawnee clicks through a slideshow of American Music Award red carpet sideboob fails, they'll say, 'Thank you, Ben Wyatt.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Are they throwing dirt into a fan?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "The key is, you have to throw the dirt into the back of the fan.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "You're The Architect? Yeah, right. And I'm the alchemist of the Hinterlands.", "c": ["Gryzzl Executive"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "There can't be an alchemist of the Hinterlands. The Hinterlands is a shadow kingdom that can only sustain a provost or a denier.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Neither. I'm the maverick.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "You know when it was completed? Last month.", "c": ["Rebecca"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "You lost your cityhood?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Which is it? Fruity or earthy? It can't be both, they're mutually exclusive!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "A man without a palate isn't a man.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "We're having a moment, you monster!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Ron, you're amazing. You've always been like a grandpa to me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Restaurant superstition, breaking a glass on the first night is good luck.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "You forgot about the essence of the game. It's about the cones.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I move my abbot to the ocean hex, which moves my brinksman to the devil's lair, and pushes my farmer, yes, my humble farmer, directly into the central cone.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, man! We did it! This whole company is ours!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Spaghetti, linguine, fettuccine, ravioli, rigatoni, Ferrari, Lamborghini, bucatini, lasagna.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "We had to throw our menus away because they are covered with pictures of Larry's dog's rectum.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Great news. Lord Sheldon's gonna make it. Yeah. We just have to apply a salve to his anus every hour for the rest of his life, but... Oh! Enjoy your meal!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "You have no idea how to run a restaurant. I've been in this game before, and I can see the cracks starting to form.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be paralyzed by hypotheticals until I die here, in this mini van! At the San Francisco airport.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I love quitting. When I was a kid and things didn't go my way, I would just take my ball and go home. That's better than winning, 'cause then, your friends can't play anymore!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Well, I hate doing work, but I love being flattered, so maybe I'll give it another try.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Because you currently owe me $16,000. For the wood. What?", "c": ["Ron", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "These are the redwoods George Lucas used to create the forest moon of Endor. Sorry, that's not why we're here. Let's go.", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Hi, Grant. I want the job. I have a lot of questions, but I'm a little amped up right now, so I'll probably just hang up.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "No, I don't. I'm sorry. That was weird. Okay, bye. Oh, this is Lester Kanopf. No, you know... Okay. Bye.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "All right, so we got a four-way going with my ex, my brother, and this rando? Okay, if that's where the night is going.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Come on, Ron. It's gonna be so fun. Thank you, Andrew. But fun or not, playing music is something I like to keep private, along with my family, my conversations, and my whereabouts at all times.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to accept the following missions.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Their first project will be to come up with a shorter name for the group.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "You're right, the name is too long, I was picturing bigger hats.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Our most faithful citizen. She never abandoned us.", "c": ["Statue inscription"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Only a moron would ever live anywhere other than Pawnee, Indiana. Leslie Knope, multiple occasions.", "c": ["Statue inscription"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Leslie, don't cry. It's not that great. Doesn't even look like you. Or actually, you know what? It kinda does.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I ordered a small cheeseburger and both the buns were pizzas.", "c": ["Decemberists member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Judge gave me two ankle bracelets. Said it was the first time he ever had to do that. Ja boy's a question on the bar exam! Ya heard!", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "What is that? Just general rock, man. It's gonna be fun. She's my cherry pie Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Damn, Donna, why you gotta bring the Quackson Five into this?", "c": ["Ginuwine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Now if you'll excuse me, there's a booth over there serving something called 'fried sausage quilts,' so I'm going to buy the booth.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "No, just trolling for some daddy. Sorry, I pronounced that wrong. I'm trolling for some dad-dy.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I will defeat you right into my pants.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I always figured we'd, you know, whatever, break up because I got drafted by the Colts. And then in the first game, of course, I break my leg. The crowd starts chanting my name, and I give them the thumbs up. And then I go to the hospital, I get really good at chess, I end up beating the computer finally. And then the band just sort of drifts apart.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "One kid peed his pants because he didn't want to miss anything. What? I gave a kid pee-pants? Yes! That's why I do what I do.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Wait, what?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Chicago seems like there's a lot of stuff to do and people, but I like to do nothing with no one. So, thank you and I love you, but no thank you, and I hate you. More I love you.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Money, please! Money, please! Money, money, money!", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I'll have the 'Joan.' It's a tumbler of gin and it's got crushed aspirin around the rim.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Come work for us at the accounting firm? Okay. No, sorry, I can't. Wow. Shortest one yet.", "c": ["Barney", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Let's get divorced. That way we can get married again! Yes! Let's do it. You want to? Yes! We should do that, right? Yeah, totally. We're getting divorced! Yes!", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "And I've been to Dallas.", "c": ["Dr. Saperstein"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Miss Hanley? Do you mind if I snap a 'You-ie'? It's what I call selfies of other people.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "You will not, no.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "With your courage and small frame, you'd make an excellent coal miner.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Also, can you bring back Power Rangers? I don't know what it is you do, but you seem important enough to get that done.", "c": ["Grant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Ed, you're a nice guy, but you're the most incompetent person I've ever worked with. And that includes Terry. Jeez. Get it together, Terry.", "c": ["Leslie", "Terry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "Ben, how many bags of marshmallows do I give them? None. Just let April do everything.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Moving Up (2)"}, {"t": "I'm perfectly civil. He's the stupid garbage head doodoo face.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "quote, 'It's time to trade those dumb old trees for a buttload of cash.'", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "It is. It truly is.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "I'm gonna work until I'm 100 and then cut back to four days a week. Oh, God. I'm already so bored thinking about that one day off. Maybe I'll go to law school or something.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Hello, Miss Knope. / Hello, former strange person I used to friend.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "You're looking very Ron-like. / You have your same hair. / No, I don't! I have bangs now! / I've never known what bangs are, and I don't intend to learn!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "It's called Very Good Building and Development Company. I wanted to convey the quality of our work without seeming flashy.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "The trees and rocks and the sky. / Yes. The land has good sky.", "c": ["Craig", "Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "This guy, he's so far out. So normcore.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "This is like Morningstar all over again! / This is nothing like Morningstar. / And that was two years ago.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Leslie! I couldn't find that file you wanted, but I did find a file called Bird Census 1980. And it's empty. / Get out of here, Ed! I fired you. / Right. If anybody wants to hang, I will be at Subway.", "c": ["Ed", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Get out of here, Ed! I fired you. Right. If anybody wants to hang, I will be at Subway.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "He's very stupid.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Babe, I just dropped off Leslie's triplets with her mom. All three of 'em. Nailed it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Welcome back to the Johnny Karate Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Andy, no. / Ninjas attack! / Andy. / No. That's my crotch. / Okay, guys. Three more kicks apiece.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Oh, wow! / I know! I am just... I am so happy for me!", "c": ["Leslie", "Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Oh, Leslie, I have always liked you. / Yeah, no, you haven't though.", "c": ["Jessica", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "So, between money and Leslie... You see the bind that I'm in.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Who is Tom Haverford? He's a mentor, a lover, a hero. But who is my hero? Simple. It's me five years from now.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "You are looking at one of Indiana Business Monthly's 35 under 35. I own Pawnee's hottest restaurant, two fast casual eateries, and the Tommy Chopper. We serve chopped salads out of a decommissioned military helicopter.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Wanna wake me up when you're done boring us to death, am I right, Janet? / Write down that I'm funny.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "It's my biggest project since Ice Town, so it really means a lot that I'm being recognized as a city leader instead of being yelled at and pelted with things.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Wait. You don't think this is all an elaborate setup to pelt me with things, do you?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Andy, we're planning our whole week, like old people! We used to be spontaneous and weird. We used to eat cereal out of Frisbees because we didn't have any bowls.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "You once broke a rib trying to wrestle one of those inflatable floppy guys at a car dealership. / I won.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Well, I only have $2 million in the discretionary fund, and I've already used some of it to make Thomas Jefferson sexier in those Mount Rushmore promotions. Which, by the way, attendance has been up. That's not a coincidence.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "I have the most valuable currency in America, a blind, stubborn belief that what I am doing is 100% right.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "My son sells them on Etsy. He is a huge disappointment.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "So you would like the Wamapoke people to pay the federal government millions of dollars to buy land that was stolen from us by the federal government? And we don't even get to keep the land?", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "What if I buy some of your disappointing son's bolo ties? Damn it.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ken"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "I'm gonna take a Zantac. All that salt will give me heartburn. / Oh, God. You ruined it.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Oh, actually, Ron promised me I could build a restaurant on the new Gryzzl campus. So I'm kind of totally on Ron's side.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Yeah. Ron hired Regal Meagle Realty to broker the deal. And I'm gonna need the money for my wedding. Shia LaBeouf designed wedding dresses do not come cheap.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Well, never fear, because Terry is here. Yes, I go by Terry now. Because there was a guy at National Parks. He was already named Larry, so they suggested I go by Terry. And then I said my real name is Gary, and they said, 'Who cares?' So, it's just a fun group.", "c": ["Terry/Larry/Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Unless you're talking about a map of the cities with the most obese pets.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "And that man was me. Tom Haverford, owner and proprietor of the effortlessly chic, celebrity-packed Italian restaurant, Tom's Bistro.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "I simply took a skewer for one shrimp and added many shrimp to it. They're long enough for five or six. / I fit seven on this one. It's a masterpiece.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "People come up to me, and they say things like, 'Tom, given all that you've accomplished, is it hard to stay humble?' And I say, 'Not for me. I'm pretty amazing at being humble.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "And thank you to the Boys and Girls Club for the incredibly life-like papier-m\u00e2ch\u00e9 statue.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "I told you to never say that word to me! No one should ever say that word out loud. It's like 'Voldemort' or 'Ron.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Even Leslie is crazier than we are. They're still gonna serve that cake, right?", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "I love you, too. I love your skin. Give me your skin.", "c": ["Gryzzl Tablet"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "And then we need to sign a suicide pact because our lives are meaningless.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Where are we? I have never once been to this part of Pawnee. It's the creepy warehouse district. It's mostly just raccoons and old car batteries.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Oh, boo-hoo! It all ran off into the lake. Well, yes, admittedly, it did make the fish taste delicious, but it was a PR nightmare.", "c": ["Jessica", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "It says here there are 12 closets, three bomb shelters, five dumbwaiters, two and three-eighths baths, no kitchens. It's a fairly standard layout.", "c": ["Realtor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "Remember the Pawnee Doll Head Factory? This was a doll head factory? No. This was a holding cell for people who went insane on the assembly line.", "c": ["Realtor", "April", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "I'm Attorney Trevor Nelsson with the law firm Fwar, Dips, Winshares, Gritt, Babip, Pecota, Vorp and Eckstein", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "In the words of Jason Bourne, 'This is where it started for me. This is where it ends.' / You know, I still think Kevin James was a weird choice for the reboot.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "And also I made cookies, but Ron is not allowed to eat them and they say, 'Prepare for War' on them, but the O in the word 'for' is a heart.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "And also I made cookies, but Ron is not allowed to eat them and they say, 'Prepare for War' on them, but the O in the word 'for' is a heart.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "2017"}, {"t": "I just farted.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "human equivalent of gas station sushi", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Jamm and Tammy! 'Jammy.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "She saw me nail Gangsta's Paradise, I saw her bite the door guy.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Why? Dear God, why?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "because it's a hotel in Los Angeles, not a wine.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "No, because he's been famously dead for 60 years.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "You said your name was Glenn? Yes, I did.", "c": ["Joan", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "One car, that they all had to fight for.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "It means it's a cause for celebration.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "In my experience with butt faces, you are one.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "She thinks she's in Batman.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Please don't say Hitler. Adolf Hitler!", "c": ["Leslie", "Jeremy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "It's a stache thing. Stache bros.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "On a separate note, I think that America should have a purge night.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "That's my cousin. That's my dad!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Why are you only friends with your family?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "No, you got all sneaky and snuck around and snooked that vote away from me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "The snooker has become the snorked!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Are you horny with gratitude?", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Are you horny with gratitude?", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "It's like rescuing a bunny from a lion. But that lion is a demonic sociopath with really nice cleavage.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Chicago! The big apple.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "That's what murderers do before they murder someone.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "You're not gonna murder me, are you?", "c": ["Lucy"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Head coach of the Chicago Bulls. No, he's working at a non-profit. No. What? Am I?", "c": ["Andy", "Tom", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "That it doesn't count as stripping if no one pays you?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "People are dying to get in.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.87, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "People are dying to get in.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "She has my stool analyzed just to keep me honest.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "And you have a Hooters platinum card.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "But it just feels right.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "More hair came out.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Dammit, Ron! Engage in the culture once in a while!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "You keep that in your desk?", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Tammy does not abide by the Geneva Convention.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "She lets me rub up against her leg sometimes.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Why is every job just paperwork?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "being embalmed by some weirdo who had to go to school for three years just to cut my guts open.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Hey there, horsey. Time to mount up and ride on into Bonertown.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "She survived on rats and rainwater.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Hey, this is why they call it Beantown, huh?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Come work for me in Pawnee?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Literally. All the steak and whiskey, I have to wear a diaper.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "That's 'cause you're my widdle baby!", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Look at my boobs. No. Look downstairs. No. There's a prize inside for you.", "c": ["Tammy", "Jeremy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Turns out the crotch blinder was inside you all along.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "I got banned from every riverboat in Germany.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "No, I'm not. I've never cared for you.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "No, I'm not. I've never cared for you.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Although, if I had to pick one side, it would be Lucy Liu's backside.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "Five-second rule!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Ron And Jammy"}, {"t": "You see, I'm a ninth-level octopriest in the Church of the Reasonableists. Oh, boy. The land is sacred in our religion because it's the place where all human souls will be transmuted when Zorp the Lizard God passes through Jupiter's Sphincter.", "c": ["Reasonableist", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Hail Zorp.", "c": ["Reasonableist"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "So, hold onto your straws, everybody, because Mama's going grasping.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "In 1980, there were more than 600 million Indiana Brown Ants in that forest. Today, there are only 595 million.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "At that rate, they'll all be gone by the year 203060.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Two hundred and three thousand and sixty? Two hundred thousand years from now? Yes. That doesn't seem like an immediate crisis.", "c": ["Character", "Character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "An amusement park with rides and food and sexy cartoon characters. I call it Disneyland.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "How did you get in here? Broke a window.", "c": ["Character", "Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "You guys, I am Roscoe. I am Vice President of Cool New Shizz here at Gryzzl.", "c": ["Roscoe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Leslie Knope has been meeting with people to try to sexy up her presentation. So, we had this far-out brain tornado.", "c": ["Roscoe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "We should get a brity to come kick it with us small-time and then just be like, 'Hey, chums. Let's get tight with Gryzz.'", "c": ["Roscoe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "That's why I refuse to write my signature in cursive.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "The Nets wouldn't be in Brooklyn if it weren't for Jay Z. And the sales for Chick-fil-A went through the roof once Elton John bought them.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "And that's why we called on you home court chillers to frack your brainiums.", "c": ["Roscoe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "I got it from context.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "The only celebrities I recognize are furniture maker Garry Knox Bennett, designer of the notorious 16-penny nail cabinet, and Magnus, the 5x5 bull elk I saw near my cabin two years ago.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Took a shot at the bastard, and he stuck his antlers through the door of my meat shed. One day, Magnus, I will wear you as a jacket.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "You could be an airline pilot. I don't like heights. What about a submarine pilot? I don't like depths. I don't like anything, okay?", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "You say a word, I say a word, we see if it makes a profession. Executive. Trampoline. Computer. Trampoline.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Well, I love it when you talk Point of Sale docs. You know it turns me on. But no.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "There's no way that I will be in the same room with Ron Swanson unless it is during a police lineup when I am pointing him out as the man who betrayed me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "'That's him, officer! Ronald Swanson.' 'Thank you, Leslie, that's the fifth crime you've solved this month. I'm not supposed to do this, but let me give you a badge and...'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "I recently had a bit of a health scare, just a couple weeks in the hospital. Oh, God. This story's terrible so far.", "c": ["Craig", "Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "So, I fulfilled one of my lifelong dreams, and I became a Notary Public.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "And infinity plus one year.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "That's nice, but I don't know if you can really consider me a celebrity. Yeah. That's your handwriting.", "c": ["Tom", "Character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "That horrifying Lifestyle Newsletter filled with vegan recipes and pointless tchotchkes?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Bloosh has won the Pulitzer Prize for best top ten listicle two years in a row.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "I've recently self-published a biography about Harrison entitled 'Barely a President. William Henry Harrison's Thirty-Two Days in the White House.'", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Um, spoilers much? Now I'll never read that book.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "That book sounded so boring, I cried a little. Oh, babe, I'm sorry you had to hear that. You're safe now.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Now, will you please consider investing in that toddler cologne I've been bugging you about? Toddler cologne. Baby, you smell good.", "c": ["Tom", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Terry, what's Leslie up to? She is trying to find a historical reason to earmark the land for preservation. Terry, come on, man", "c": ["Ron", "Terry", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Babe, we should sell our dumb house and buy this one.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "What? How old?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "I found an artifact! Historical artifact! William Henry Harrison's wig. Andy. Put that down.", "c": ["Andy", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "You're asking a notary to lie. I signed an oath, Ben. And then a different notary notarized the oath I signed.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "The If He'd Worn A Coat room explores how great America would have been if Harrison had worn a coat at his inauguration and not died.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "This room is called Other Things That Were Famous For One Month.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Oh, and side note, admission to this museum costs $14.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "And side note, admission to this museum costs $14", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Why? Was there something inside the stupid ball? Ooh! Like a giant hamster?", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "This is exactly what I imagined heaven looks like. Right down to the unisex linen tunics.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "I was polishing my oyster forks with a cage-free olive oil rub.", "c": ["Annabel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Apology accepted, and then I have no reaction to anything else you said.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Well, this season, I'm intrigued by asymmetrical overalls, angora toothbrushes, and locally sourced Italian flip-flops.", "c": ["Annabel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Now, try the hottest new craze, beef milk. It's like almond milk that's been squeezed through tiny holes in living cows.", "c": ["Annabel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "That's milk. No. Milk costs $3 a gallon. Annabel's authentic, hand-strained teat-to-table Beef Milk? That costs $60 a gallon.", "c": ["Tom", "Annabel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Yeah. And there's a wait list.", "c": ["Annabel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "I just wanted to say that I really like your museum. It's weird and sad and unnecessary.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Though you do get a yearly stipend of 50,000 Harrison Bucks. Accepted only at that vending machine.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "The only things I like are dogs, sleeping late, and weird birthmarks.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Zach Harrison? I went to camp with this guy. No one would ride in the boat with him because he had terrible BO. Then, he went with Janine, our counselor, and he fell asleep and got a boner.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Notary publics can trace our origin all the way back to ancient Rome. No way. Calvin Coolidge was a notary.", "c": ["Craig", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Playing with our dog, staring contests, sex with me, etc. And then, I lost the list. So, I had to make a new list. I didn't have any paper, so I wrote it on my leg.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "They're one-on-one. You like dealing with people or dogs one-on-one.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Do you? No, that was just a hypothetical... Could that be possible? Because, you know, I've always thought that we shared very similar jawlines.", "c": ["Zach", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Zach! Camp Wamapoke. You got a boner. We'll catch up. What a dick.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Did he write letters to Thomas Jefferson on his rolltop desk, which, you know, I don't know, might have existed.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Uh... Harrison's a pretty common last name.", "c": ["Zach"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "'Wow, that was cool', said some boring idiot from 200 years ago.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Here to introduce our vision is Annabel Porter from Bloosh, and the sexy ladies known in Pawnee as the Somebody's Daughter dancers.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Fresh. Innovative. Placemaking. Disposable duvets. Growth hacking. Super Moon. Gryzzl.", "c": ["Dancers/Annabel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Because I've died somehow and now I'm a ghost living in purgatory until I complete my unfinished business.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "Ron. Ron. That's not even a word.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "You're not that good at scrapbooking.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "That feud is, like, Biggie-Tupac level. Maybe even Morgan Freeman-Shailene Woodley level. Naw. It's bad, but it's not that bad.", "c": ["Character", "Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "I'll let you rename the triplets Ruth, Bader, and Ginsburg.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "This has gone too far, and you are not leaving this office until you've made peace.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "William Henry Harrison"}, {"t": "And I left a rusty hacksaw on the table, so the first person who hacks their face off gets release.", "c": ["Unknown lockdown organizer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Game of Thrones is on tonight. It's the series finale. Khaleesi is marrying Jack Sparrow. Oh, God, that show has really gone off the rails.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "It makes sense if you've read the books.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "both: Damn it, Terry!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for ten hours.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "I'll just tell them that I apologized for... whatever, heroically caring too much", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "and you admitted that you're a stubborn butthead", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Because we want them to believe us and not laugh really hard at a ridiculous science fiction scenario.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Fine! I'll tell them that for the past three years, you've been a perfect gentleman and scholar, and I am an insane weirdo who, despite being the only reason we even had a friendship to begin with, decided to ruin it out of the blue for no good reason.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "That sounds good. Let's go with that.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "What are you doing? - I destroyed the monitor!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "What if we have an emergency and have to get out of here? - I did not consider that possibility!", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "You, of all people, should know that, Lauren.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "I'll take that bet at any odds, for any amount of money, over any length of time stretching from now into infinity.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me. Talk. Talk. Talk.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "I think wood is stupid, and so does everybody else. You guys, Ron loves plastic.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "This is a mix I made for the summer Parks barbecue, 2007. I asked everyone in the Parks Department to choose one song. You chose Buddy by Willie Nelson, a fact I remember because my mind is a steel trap of friendship nuggets.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "And guess what. I don't know the words. \u266a Harry Truman was a guy \u266a \u266a America, Red China \u266a \u266a All the countries, other people \u266a \u266a Everyone is fun \u266a", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "\u266a Joe Mantegna, Ian McKellen \u266a \u266a I have to buy a new toaster \u266a \u266a This is awesome, you're so stupid \u266a \u266a Jumping up and down \u266a", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "\u266a Freddy Krueger bought some pants \u266a \u266a Oprah has a turtle farm \u266a \u266a Peter Piper pee-pee poopy \u266a \u266a Daddy ate a squirrel \u266a", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Stop this! - \u266a Eisenhower, vaccine \u266a - I will speak with you for three minutes.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "We were work proximity associates.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "and I will do so using the most powerful tool known to man: a well-organized chart.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Work proximity associate-ships.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "At her request, the party's theme is 'Zombie Teenage Biker Gang Pizza Jamboree.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "[British accent] 'Oh, dear. We live at the Morningstar. That's so posh and hibbley-fibbley-gibbley.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Ron making a key and escaping", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "The name of the store is 'Food and Stuff.' They sell food, and they sell stuff.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "It's called Whole Foods. - And is that really the reason? - No.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "The partially defused claymore mine you gave me ten years ago. I'm gonna use it to blow a hole in this damn door", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "It's in the Constitution. - There's no cursing in the Constitution.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "The claymore mine explodes with party music and confetti", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.56, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "You mean to tell me I have had a toy on my desk for ten years? - You mean to tell me you've thought you had an actual land mine on your desk?", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Ron. You've been doing an explosive job! [recorded Leslie laughing]", "c": ["Leslie (recording)"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Who gets angry at balloons?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "This is my best shot. - Is that nuclear waste?", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Leslie Knope is an absurd idealist whose goals are slightly to the left of Leon Trotsky.", "c": ["Ron (via Leslie reading)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "If we were to work together, she would undoubtedly drive me insane, and it is possible that we would murder each other.", "c": ["Ron (via Leslie reading)"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "It says, 'Hire her.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "\u266a The best thing about being a woman \u266a \u266a Is the prerogative \u266a", "c": ["Unknown janitor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "I'll watch a foreign film. I'll talk to a man with a ponytail.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "You called me a heartless thug.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Those brownies were damn good.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Two years ago, you found out you were 1/4 French, and you had a nervous breakdown.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Ron soaked and wearing Craig's yoga clothes", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "I feel extremely angry.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "I've seen you with your eyebrows blown off. I've seen you without a mustache. I've seen it all.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "we needed a mindless factotum, and he's the best there is. - Amen.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "I was gonna ask you for a job. In the federal government. Just saying it out loud feels dirty.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Sure, I loved shutting things down and bleeding the rotting beast from the inside.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Your metaphors are so beautiful.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "You are drunk and hungover simultaneously at 2:00 in the afternoon.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "The frame is the gift. When my company took on the Morningstar development, and I realized it meant bulldozing Ann's old house, I salvaged her front door.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "You big, fat, giant sap.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Why does anybody in the world ever eat anything but breakfast food? - People are idiots, Ron.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Leslie And Ron"}, {"t": "Forget it. It's impossible. It's not gonna work in a million years. It's pointless. I give up. / Good attitude, honey.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Right now, my basic argument is, 'Please, give us the land. It would be so nice.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Whoa! 'Open your door'?", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Ben! We're about to die. The robots have come for us.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "I made fun of you when you said it would happen but your novel has come true.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Okay, so they also have a squadron of flying robots giving presents to everyone. We're screwed.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "It's a red and white heirloom red bean pasta, with an imported Tuscan walnut herb sauce, infused with shaved heritage Pecorino Romano. / What? You're done?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Lucy is visiting her boyfriend Conrad in Chicago, so I'm just trying to distract myself with work so I don't think about the marathon bone sesh they're probably having.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Yeah, but all I really do is goof around all day. / Write, produce, and direct a TV show. Plus, I act in it, and I do sets, props, wardrobe. At the end, I drive everybody home.", "c": ["Andy", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "so I mean, a hundred bucks a week-- that's pretty fair.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "I won't even think about Lucy and Conrad and his stupid crunches that he probably does.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "I should probably do some crunches. Let's go! Ow! Andy, my tum tum!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "'Honeybear' and 'Sugar Plum' are the special names Joe and I call each other. / Aww. / Yeah, we're adorable, but this is creepy.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Joe Biden's book, 'Biden the Rails: 1001 Poems Inspired by My Travels Through Amtrak's Northeast Corridor.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "A poster of the Supreme Court Justices sipping the Friends milkshake!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "You wanna put me on blast? I'ma put you on Front Street. / I don't understand what that means, but I think I get the context, and I love it.", "c": ["Donna", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Watermelon, martinis, exposed brick, Keri Russell's hair.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "On the advice of my therapist, Dr. Richard Nygard, whenever I feel like yelling, I just take a deep breath and say three great things about being alive.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "I started here when I was 20, and now I'm old and gross and directionless. Those kids are me ten years ago, and this internship is the videotape from The Ring.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "It's too late for me. I've seen too much. But maybe I can save them. / You're all gonna die in here!", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "They sent my husband three boxes of genital cream to his office. My husband's splotchy genitals are no one's business, except for his, mine, and his many genital doctors.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "This is actually Ham-uel L. Jackson from the movie, Pork Fiction, it's extremely rare, and I am keeping it.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "But still, they no right to give me something I will treasure the rest of my life.", "c": ["Same citizen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "I opened my box in front of all of my friends, and it was a bunch of Virginia Woolf novels. Now Miley and Haley know I like to read. What if they tell Evan?", "c": ["Young citizen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Actually, this is Tom Sell-oink, but, you know, close enough. / Actually, I'm gonna need that back.", "c": ["Leslie", "Pig collector"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "It includes such hits as: 'First Trip to the Dentist,' 'Sonia Tries Pizza,' and 'Waterpark Vomit Chain Reaction.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "What, I'm just gonna carry around pictures of my child where anyone could see them?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "and they do seem to, as they say, 'keep it 100.'", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Yes, hello, I'm Darlene Johannsen, and this is my assistant-turned-lover, Gregory Strong. Ours is a new romance, but one that sent shockwaves through my architecture firm.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Okay, that doesn't help me.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "The only thing I love more than parks is recreation. / Really? / No, I just needed college credit.", "c": ["Jen", "April"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Well, my mom's the devil and my dad's a dumb doctor.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "I feel like you have almost zero potential. I think that's cool.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "I love being Andy's agent. He does all the work, and I get 10% just for showing up. It's like a chef at a restaurant, making all the food, and then the owner gets a profit-- which is my other job!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "in the words of Jerry Maguire-- / 'The human head weighs 8 pounds.' / No. 'Show me the money.'", "c": ["Tom", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "You discovered Selena Gomez? / Different Selena Gomez.", "c": ["Andy", "Station Manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "What did you want to be when you were little? / A scary mermaid that lures sailors to their death.", "c": ["April", "Jen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Okay, side note, I'm gonna file papers to adopt you as my child, so keep an eye out for that.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Go do something fun like trying to control birds with your mind or posting internet comments as Michael Jackson's ghost.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "As you know, the cameras on your phones are always on, whether you're using them or not. / I'm sorry, they are?", "c": ["Gryzzl employee", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "to when you ladies need to score some new 'pons.", "c": ["Roscoe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "I mean, we just wanna learn everything about everyone and track them wherever they go and anticipate what they're about to do.", "c": ["Roscoe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "TV. Retro. I love it.", "c": ["Roscoe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Tonight, on The Perdples Court, we will have the guests that have been booked for tonight's show-- the plaintiff, Leslie Knope, who has some big allegations against Gryzzl.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "December 18, 2015. That was the opening day of Star Wars: Episode VII. You were muttering that date in your sleep for months.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Is Star Wars the one with the little wizard boy?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Well, invent another character. Uh, here you go: Kung-Fu Billy. Jeremy Punch-Guy. Ed Kick.", "c": ["Station Manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "I once sat in the original Batmobile.", "c": ["Station Manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "That's why the only contract I've ever signed is my Mulligan's Steakhouse club card. And even then, I used a fake name. Les. Les Vegetables.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Recently, I've been feeling like I've wasted the last ten years of my life, and it all started with this internship", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Sweet potato pie, unlikely animal friend pairings, Jennifer Love Hewitt.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Well, Perd-- / It's 'Judge Perd.'", "c": ["Leslie", "Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "To be honest, Judge Perd is stumped by this case. I've also misplaced my judge hammer.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Therefore, I must declare a mistrial, which is a term I've heard people use in the movies. Tap, tap, tap. Case ended.", "c": ["Perd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Get this--they're gonna pay me the minimum wage.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "If there's something that you want badly, you just have to believe that it's gonna work out. / That's actually really good advice for anything.", "c": ["Tom", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Victor Garber, James Garner, Jennifer Garner. I go alphabetical now.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "But what I would like to do is have a glass of wine and talk about that shade Nicki Minaj threw at Jesse Eisenberg at the BAFTA awards. / Mm. He deserved it. / No. he didn't!", "c": ["Lucy", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "This is a flying robot I just shot out of the sky after it delivered a package to my house.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "No one is safe from these bastards. Tell me what to do, Leslie. I wanna help you take them down.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Gryzzlbox"}, {"t": "Well, then you leave, Terry. And pay for the cake you already ate.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "That was a joke cake I got from the grocery store, to weed out low-quality palates.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "but I kind of like the grocery store one, too.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Butler of Honor", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "a surprise bigger than when LeBron went back to Miami", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Treat Yo' Self 2017!", "c": ["Tom", "Donna"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I still don't know what's happening... Not an answer to my question.", "c": ["Terry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "We did not believe that we did anything to invade people's privacy... But then, we checked thousands of emails and texts between our customers and their loved ones, and it seemed like people thought we were wrong.", "c": ["Roscoe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "seating is gonna be organized by income and sexual history", "c": ["Roscoe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "All we need is a blimp and a decoy blimp.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "For what I hope is the last time, but we'll assume is not the last time, our strategy does not involve blimps.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I am not a spy, and I would never reveal classified information. Do you have to say that every time? Yes.", "c": ["Agent Walker", "Leslie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Just like Joey Fatone and Lance Bass, we are totally in sync.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "We're in sync emotionally. Stop patting my head.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Let me repeat that because it makes me very horny. $125 million.", "c": ["Newport Trust Representative"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Do mine first. In case something happens to you, I wanna make sure I get paid. Looking out for number one. Always smart.", "c": ["April", "Ron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Well, breakups are famously super fun and make everyone feel awesome. So, it's no different.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "You should come to the wedding and do paperwork.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Stop, you're making this sound almost too fun.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I literally couldn't care less.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Today is about one thing. Things. Things, Donna! Our favorite.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Treat Yo' Self. In Beverly Hills!", "c": ["Tom", "Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "All I wanted was 25 square miles of land valued at $100 million given to me for free. Is that too much to ask?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I'll say it again. Voodoo is still an option.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "One place asked me if I wanted kale in my milkshake. My milkshake, you guys.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Even though I'm a firm believer in the free market, and your failure as a businessman is ultimately to blame, it's still a travesty your diner is closing.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Was it Putin? Voldemort Putin, of Russia? I'd love to take that bastard down.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Tiny rolled-up scrolls delivered by trained foxes.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Oh, hell, yeah. Blimp time.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I think this is a job for Jonathan Karate.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I can't think of anything more noble to go to war over than bacon and eggs.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Well, we'll keep practicing.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "That's not true. It's called 'constructing a narrative,' JJ. You stick to the breakfast, I'll deal with the politics.", "c": ["Leslie", "JJ"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I do not like rallies. And based on what I see from this vantage point, I do not like most of you.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Please do not approach me on the street after this event and attempt to talk to me. Our similarities begin and end with this single issue.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Exactly.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "holding in farts", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I gotta go pull the plug on my dad in 10 minutes.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I'm gonna turn that place into an elbow art salon and make a killing.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Not to brag, but my colognes have been known to stunt human growth, so...", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "you can see the house that belongs to Bruce Willis and Christina Aguilera", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I would like three big-ass diamonds surrounded by their own set of tiny-ass diamonds.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "LASIK for fingernails? I came up with that. You want it? It's 275.", "c": ["Salon Worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Psych!", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "you can all just sit there pulling on your puds", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Give me your boos! I am nourished by your hatred!", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "The Hounds is an FDA-rejected cologne I've been working on that makes everything smell like wet dog.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I gotta go kill my dad.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Water makes it worse.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Bogdano-delish.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I was secretly hoping you got me the shoes Jaden Smith wears in Hitch 2: Son of a Hitch.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Treat yo' self.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Josh Groban! He's eating his own sushi! That's the most baller thing I've ever seen!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Medical Waste Butt-Sweat Grove.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "This place has everything. Vermin, bullet holes, a hornet's nest.", "c": ["Real Estate Agent"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "The floor hole.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "We're losing the cranberry salad, effective immediately!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Well, I wish my reign had lasted longer, but I'm happy with the decisions I made and the people I fired.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "We wouldn't have to hire Banksy.", "c": ["Gryzzl Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Okay, but we spent hella skrilla on this trill forest.", "c": ["Roscoe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Here's a far-out idea that just came to the top of my brainium.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "And truthfully, they're all shrooming super hard at Coachella right now.", "c": ["Gryzzl Executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I'm watching porn with my right eye.", "c": ["Gryzzl Executive"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "And like that, they were gone.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Why do we even have a buddy system?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "You jerk. You sat on that news and let me stew here for three hours?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "I do not approve of this. Don't care.", "c": ["Ron", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Save Jjs"}, {"t": "Because orchids are Donna's favorite flowers, and she's my favorite flower.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Ha ha! We real cute.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Do you think this is my first time working a side job as a wedding planner for a former co-worker?", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I mostly have my rage problem under control, but planning is very stressful.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Please avoid my trigger words, 'flowers,' 'schedule,' 'vows,' 'bride,' 'groom,' 'food,' 'love,' 'happy,' 'church,' 'event,' 'wedding,' and 'Craig.'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I am so sorry, Craig. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "And I love you like a sister. - Ew.", "c": ["Donna", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I told your brother LeVondrious that he is not welcome.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I actually care whether you're having a good time and are happy. It's weird.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "The Meagles are a cold-blooded crew of judgmental grudge-holders.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "My cousin Winnie once forgot to use a coaster at my grandpa's house, and he wrote her out of his will.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "The last four Meagle family Pictionary tournaments ended at the hospital.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Legally, no more than three Meagles are allowed on an international flight together.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "But they give great gifts. Gotta get that flatware.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Uh, yes. Warm it up, please.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "As Donna's Butler of Honor, I'm going all out. Baby blue brocade.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "As a surprise, I got a matching dress for Lucy.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "And do you believe Lucy will be happy with this gift?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "100%! We're so in sync.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I finally feel like I'm with the person I'm gonna be with forever. I'd marry her tomorrow.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I love weddings. Good food, the celebration of romantic love, and most of all, churches.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Say what you will about organized religion, those bastards knew how to construct an edifice.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Do you think I could have 30 seconds? That's all.", "c": ["Roz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "She's fading.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I love you more than Ben.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "If Ben left me, I would be sad, but I would get through it. But if you left me, I would never recover.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I'm so used to packing for them I almost put in diapers for myself.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "The whole world is my park.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "All three of them just bumped into each other and broke everything you own.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I--I don't know what that was.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "You know Gayle gives me a gift each and every day. Oh, I got the greatest gift of all. Being married to you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Control yourselves, Gergiches!", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Tom is quite taken with you. He said he'd marry you tomorrow.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "What's that horrible sound? - Children. - Ugh, your life is gross.", "c": ["Jen", "Ben", "Jen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "You guys live in Pawnee, Indiana. Where do you have to go? Putting up a new scarecrow?", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "We're talking about the House of Representatives, Ben. You might be overqualified.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Two of the three kids are showering in their pajamas, and most of Ben's ties are in the toilet.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I feel like there should be a term for that. Like, 'nicey-meanie.'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Or woman. I mean, equal rights. No, that doesn't apply.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Ben should be the Royal Archduke Sultan Emperor of All Inhabitable Lands on Earth! I'm completely neutral.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Don't call me 'man.'", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "That's what you took away from this?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Don't serve this man. No more food until he fixes his giant disaster he's created.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Nope, too hard.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Well, I hope that you are a podiatrist or a dentist, because I seem to have a case of foot-in-mouth disorder.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Here are all the troublemakers, boss.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "And, Ginuwine? - Yes? - Get it together.", "c": ["April", "Ginuwine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Easy peasy. Lemon sneezy.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I am a liar. Well, no, I am not a liar. I have never lied about anything in my life. Though I suppose you could construe camouflage as a lie.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Wait, now we're on an island? With kids? Plural?", "c": ["Lucy"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Watch out for those riding lawnmowers, man.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I feel \"condifent.\" - Con... I feel \"condifent.\"", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I feel 'condifent.' Con... I feel 'condifent.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "What? It's you! I love you! You're my sexy roommate. We love each other.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Whoo! He's talking about me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "And I am Ben Wyatt, and I very much approve this message!", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Let the little man dance.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I also called 867-5309 100 times.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I want to come out strong on education. Then I'll tack hard into fiscal responsibility.", "c": ["Ben (in flashback)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "\u266a 8-6-7-5-3-0-9 \u266a I love that song. \u266a Jenny, I've got your number \u266a", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna go spend my time doing exactly what I want to do, because I don't have children.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I'll do whatever you want. I'm fine with whatever. No. Whatever you want. No pressure.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "He was.", "c": ["Michelle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Typhoon.", "c": ["Typhoon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Typhoon, I am interested, but now is not the time.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Ron does this weird thing where he says exactly what he means.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Well, I'm only dating you for the free dresses, so...", "c": ["Lucy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Just yesterday, I learned that the Pearl Jam album, Vitalogy was written about you.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Tell the kids not to worry, they're coming back home.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "And I'm holding zebras.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "To me. I own my own restaurant and several other properties. That's always worth celebrating.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Ha ha. That's your new name. Garry.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Yes, after 30 years, my coworkers are finally going to call me by my real name. Oh, boy, I'm blessed.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Didn't expect to see your baby bro at your wedding, huh? Well, I'm here... despite what you did to me all those years ago.", "c": ["LeVondrious"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "I hope you saved a slice of that cake for your estranged brother LeVondrious!", "c": ["LeVondrious"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I brought it back.", "c": ["LeVondrious"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "Well. Now no one gets any popcorn.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "You said you wanted a little drama. That's why I love you, girl!", "c": ["LeVondrious", "April"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Donna And Joe"}, {"t": "In today's fast-paced society, National Parks are still the best place for full-moon werewolf transformations.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Yeah. Also, you have lipstick on your teeth.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Oh! Well, then, welcome to the Terrordome.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "One time, Andy told her that I was getting rid of my bangs and she called 911.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Any time your name comes up, I panic and change the subject to the Twin Peaks reboot until she gets bored.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Leslie's extreme reaction to font change suggestion", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "She'll drown me in the Potomac while she recites facts about the Potomac.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "The cool nicknames list mix-up with Apple juice, barbecue sauce, Count Chocula", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Tell him it's Count Chocula... No, it's Andrew Dwyer. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Assassins? Hit men? ... You guys are doctors? ... We build things.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Ron's deadpan tour: 'This is a door. These, of course, are walls.'", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Is this your brother? ... No. ... Fine. Yes, suppose the cat's out of the bag.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "You worked at the Parks Department? Tour is over.", "c": ["Don", "Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "I didn't really make the shirts. But did you, though? Yes, I did.", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "It's a large-scale storage unit for surplus vinyl sheeting.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "No, that's insane. We use the Towson Method. It's tried and true.", "c": ["Don"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Distract the guard so the Hamburglar can make his escape.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "I do have an appointment with the President.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "It is 'actuarily' very good to see you guys.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "It is 'actuarily' very good to see you guys.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Yes. Every month of my life since fourth grade.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Polynesian folk music band 'Across the Isle' pun explanation", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "She designed her own major, Halloween Studies.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Does that compound your interest? Huh? What do you say? Huh, Barney?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "A confirmation hearing? A freaking confirmation hearing?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Old Norbs is stepping down. Couldn't handle the pressure, huh? What a wuss. His marriage is falling apart. Oh! Oh, okay. She had an affair with his best friend.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "April's ALF photograph r\u00e9sum\u00e9", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Get me Garry Gergich.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Looking at me like a crazy person... I see a new home.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "April, we have a bench in D.C.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "I don't want to work in government. I quit.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dramatic_irony", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "I haven't seen you this upset since you almost forgot Ann's half-birthday.", "c": ["Madeleine Albright"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Well, you were so wrapped up in your story that you actually ate my waffle.", "c": ["Madeleine Albright"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "You actually ate my waffle.", "c": ["Madeleine Albright"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "I do not compare people to Mary J. Blige lightly.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "I used bullet points instead of numbers, because I find it conveys strength and competence.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Give me the job! My name's April Ludgate, and my talent is explosive. Go USA! USA! USA!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "I had to miss the 'Memorable Rain Gutters of Washington' walking tour, so this better be good.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Now, take your shoes off and wear them like mittens. April. Okay, sorry.", "c": ["April", "Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Which is why I have decided not to turn you into a sea urchin. Which I could do because I am an actual witch with powers and I'm evil...", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "Leslie's throw pillow with Alyssa's face stitched onto it", "c": ["Leslie", "Alyssa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "I found this crazy woman on the street and she won't leave me alone.", "c": ["Alyssa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "I want to tell people what to do, and then send them far away from me.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "self_referential"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "It's weird. I feel like I need to take a shower in pig's blood to wash all the niceness off me.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "I feel like I need to take a shower in pig's blood to wash all the niceness off me.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "S07E08"}, {"t": "This is the Lady Gaga of scavenger hunts. A complete work of genius wrapped up in a disorienting mix of confusing cultural red herrings.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Ron immediately solves the puzzle with complex cryptex and columnar transposition explanation while Ben stands shocked", "c": ["Ron", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Keep it. And don't feel bad. It's my curse.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Ooh, shop talk. One of my five favorite types of talk, along with pillow, girl, real, and TED.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Oh, because every surface area in your house is sticky. Last time I was here, I found a melted crayon on my blazer.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I love watching those squashes fly through the air. I kind of like the way they land. Me, too.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I already made my pump up mix. There's a surprising amount of Pat Benatar.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I was talking to Leslie. Me, Leslie? Yeah.", "c": ["Jen", "Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "If you were just a ding-dong, I would just slap a flag pin on you, and pour some Valium down your throat. Everything would be fine. It's the smarties that freak people out.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "You know, why don't you think of it like sex freshman year of college? You just want to get through it as fast as possible without embarrassing yourself.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I'm using that as an analogy to help you out because I'm assuming you were a late bloomer. Not me. I crushed it from day one.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Stephen, be careful! Poncho!", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Well, I had hoped you'd choose a more dignified trade like masonry or logging. But you are out of local government, and that's a step in the right direction.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "If you intend to move, I suppose you should return the spare key to my house. The one I gave you years ago when you were my assistant, for emergencies.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Last contest's loser was all women.", "c": ["Reporter/Dad"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Last contest's loser was all women.", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Leslie, you made it pretty clear that you don't think homemaking is important. Do you ever cook for your children? And who's even watching your children right now while you're out God only knows where?", "c": ["Mike Patterson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Mike Patterson's aggressive questioning about Leslie's parenting and whereabouts", "c": ["Mike Patterson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "What are you talking about? I'm standing right here in front of you.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Okay, take it easy. Let's not get emotional.", "c": ["Mike Patterson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "What other traditions are you against, Leslie? Baseball? Hugging your children? How much did that haircut cost? None of your business. And thank you for noticing.", "c": ["Mike Patterson", "Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Hey! Yeah. No. No key. Just a note and a movie ticket stub and four teeth.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "If you are looking for Ron's key, I moved it, and you'll never find it. Cordially, April.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "All we gotta do is train Champion to sniff out Ron's key. Okay. All we need is Ron's key to give him a scent. So give me the key and I'll get you that key.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Mike, we all know what Ben Wyatt's wife is really saying. By skipping the Pie Mary, she's saying, 'Women who love their families are stupid.'", "c": ["June Hartwell"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm just speculating here, but do you think that Leslie Knope's actions indicate that she actually hates her family?", "c": ["Mike Patterson"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Well, it only took three hours for Jen to be right.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I can promote my self-published women's rights barbecue cookbook The Feminine Mesquite.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Except you're gonna need to get a new calculator 'cause I crushed this one in a blind rage while I was watching the show.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I found this one, but it has a falcon on the top. I'll keep looking. No, that's it! That's it, Andy! Eagle, falcon, whatever. Not whatever. Eagles are more robust, have stronger talents. Didn't go to Bird School much?", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I know. And I fished it out, so I can put it on my voodoo doll.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "We could easily go that route. Initiate Ghost Protocol. We switch faces, we burn our fingertips off with acid, we live in the tunnels beneath the Kremlin. We could do that easily.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Garry, I take everything back. I hate you.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "These appear to be human teeth. And what is this? New Moon? It's a movie, but I've never seen it. It's, like, about lame werewolves and vampires and stuff.", "c": ["Ron", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Dollars to donuts this points us her way. Finally, a scavenger hunt worthy of my time.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Okay, snacks given, kids tucked in, books read, three simultaneous meltdowns for no reason, kids tucked back in, one of them briefly got outside somehow, kids back in bed, they're all napping.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I even got an extra whipped cream can, one for baking, one for directly into mouth. You know me so well.", "c": ["Ann", "Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Hope you like pies... In your face. Metaphorically. We'll be civil.", "c": ["Elise"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Babe, the oven's ready. Chop-chop, time to get bakin'. Daddy want pie.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "You kept yelling 'Team Voldemort!' At the screen and we were kicked out. I was furious. You only get to see the second Twilight film for the seventh time once.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Oh! Babe. You had a crush on me. That's embarrassing. We're married. Still.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Garry drops everything down the sewer grate one by one - wedding ring, keys, phone", "c": ["Garry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Damn, this takes me back. Mind if I stay and watch? Not at all. I appreciate the company.", "c": ["Ron", "Garry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Okay, picture this... Crust on the bottom. Filling. Crust on top. What am I describing? A pie. No. But you're in the right 'zone.'", "c": ["Ben", "Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Pies are just sweet calzones, honey. And I'm good at making calzones.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Talking 'bout the highway to the calzone zone", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "And she says, 'Hey, Mr. Forgetful.' I mean, those words... They rattle around here for hours.", "c": ["Garry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Do what, exactly? Nothing. We're not doing anything. And we definitely do not live down here now.", "c": ["Harris", "Brett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I've been there. That's a real tightrope walk.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "We're dreaming together, We're sleeping together, But not like that", "c": ["Harris", "Brett"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "So we're looking for a racist ghost with black hair who likes shoeshines.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "We are very different people.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Mema was no Leslie Knope. She didn't have a PhD, but she sure knew a lot about P-l-E.", "c": ["June Hartwell"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Now, pack your suitcases, because we're going to a little town Called Napoli... In Italy.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Men have had a very rough go of it, for... Just recently.", "c": ["Male Men Leader"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "We can all agree that no one likes Leslie Knope.", "c": ["Talk Show Host"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Um. Fierce alert. Eat 'em up, honey.", "c": ["Marshall Langman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "What a surprise. The woman is only talking to other women. Can we have one conversation about feminism where men get to be in charge?", "c": ["Male Men Leader"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I, Brandi Maxxxx, star of 69 Jump Street and Fifty Shaved Old Gays, have your back.", "c": ["Brandi Maxxxx"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Because June Hartwell is a lukewarm bowl of nothing. She started an awareness campaign called 'Bring a Sweater.' She calls it 'goose bump prevention.'", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "It's like taking a shot of tequila. You just gotta force it down, suddenly the world feels so much more pleasant. I do three shots every time I have to enter this house.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "It's like taking a shot of tequila. You just gotta force it down, suddenly the world feels so much more pleasant.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "It's like taking a shot of tequila. You just gotta force it down, suddenly the world feels so much more pleasant. I do three shots every time I have to enter this house.", "c": ["Jen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I just wanted to remember the good old days, when a shoeshine was two bits, and there were no Mexicans in the music business.", "c": ["Councilman Milton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Hi Andy, I hate people, but you are okay. It's weird. Woof, woof. April.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Get off my boat!", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I love how independent my wife is, and because of that, I will not let her speak.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I love how independent my wife is, and because of that, I will not let her speak. That came out wrong.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Second, the Male Men... Where are you? Ah. You're ridiculous, and men's rights is nothing.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "It's a stupid question. Stop asking it. Don't ask it.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "And then, you know, sometimes I don't.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "By the way, who is taking care of the kids right now? My mom, babe. Everything's fine.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Oh. Sorry. I just got here. I had a broken bike chain. My bad.", "c": ["Random protester"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "I change my house locks every 16 days. That key has been useless since the second Tuesday after I gave it to you.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Because this tree reminds me of you. It's strong. And quiet. And always here when you need it. Or whatever.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Not the nice things she said about me, the fact that I buried a large amount of gold under that same tree years ago. I have since moved it. Or have I? Or was I lying the whole time? Or was I lying about lying? Or was there never any gold to begin with? Or...", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Ben Wyatt, you are this year's IOW Woman of the Year. Son of a bitch.", "c": ["Elise", "Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "S07E09"}, {"t": "Someone has stolen my guitar / This seems like a case for Special Agent... / Burt Macklin.", "c": ["Andy/Johnny Karate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "I don't give a crap, Batman. You work for me. Increase the perimeter!", "c": ["Andy/Burt Macklin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "If we don't get that guitar back, the peace in Iraq will be canceled.", "c": ["Andy/Burt Macklin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "I'm drowning in the adult end of the pool, and the lifeguard's off in the bathroom pooping.", "c": ["Andy/Burt Macklin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "That instrument is worth literally $900 million.", "c": ["Perd Hapley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "A one-way ticket to the Funky Monkey Dunk Tank!", "c": ["Perd Hapley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "It's the capital of the entire world. They have things there like this white house, and this mental institution.", "c": ["Andy/Johnny Karate"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "It's this crazy statue of this giant monster sitting on a chair that represents all of America's enemies.", "c": ["Andy/Johnny Karate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Andy, where is it? / What? Uh-oh. / I took it out to play hide and seek. I couldn't find it.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Known locally to Venezuelans as 'The Devil's Fist.'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "No. The wood does not taste like cherry. You cannot eat it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "I was not going to eat it, Carpenter Ron. I was going to lick it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Always remember, kids, when you find something new, you must lick it before you eat it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "That is incorrect, in a number of ways.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "This, to me, seems like a... / You are mistaken. Remove the graphic.", "c": ["Andy", "Ron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Boring Buzzer sound effect", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Not the fastest. What about teleporting?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Nothing is impossible, kids. / Teleportation is impossible.", "c": ["Andy", "Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "You asked me to do this. This was a favor... / [BORING BUZZER]", "c": ["Ben", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "I kind of thought I'd be holding a piece of wood or something. But, you know, always happy to help.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "I am going to be taking over hosting my friend's TV show. / Huh?", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Literally, because normally I have a script that I have to stick to. But I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now. It's kind of a nightmare.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Hire Very Good Building Company for your construction needs. Or do not. I am not a beggar.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.63, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Listen for Coinsy the Wolf at Wamapoke Casino. Twice a day, one lucky visitor will hit the mega-wolf jackpot, and Coinsy will howl for you.", "c": ["Ken Hotate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Phenomenon means 'to explore a cave.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "He had just broken both legs from falling into a pit. / I was super wasted. / It's a kid's show, Andy. / Yes. Good call. Kid's show. Good call.", "c": ["Leslie", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I lost it. The day planner's gone. I can't find it anywhere. / Fitting, really.", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Fitting, really.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Andy, I am here in this weird, flat place", "c": ["Edgar Covington"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Well, technically, only the Queen can knight somebody, but I'm so rich that she lets me do what I want.", "c": ["Edgar Covington"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Winter is coming for Ser Ben Lightstorm.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Healthy food is for suckers. It tastes like garbage and if you say you like it, you're a chump and a liar.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "I should mention, I'm a rabbi now.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "My name is Burt Tyrannosaurus Macklin. / I don't know what the problem is, Sergeant. Just drain the ocean.", "c": ["Andy/Burt Macklin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "I'm a cop! I should get some handcuffs too! Give me your cuffs, Randy.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "President Jimmy Carter stole my guitar? / But why?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "From the information I got I just assumed you'd be like 10 years old.", "c": ["John Cena"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "You stole Johnny Karate's guitar. / I didn't steal his guitar, man. I'm just doing this as a favor.", "c": ["Andy", "John Cena"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Is anybody in charge? Uh, a little help?", "c": ["John Cena"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Well, not here, here, because this studio actually has a show where divorced couples work out their problems, so that might be weird if that thing was hanging over them.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon merger commercial", "c": ["Commercial narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "I once found a rock that looked exactly like Santa Claus. Hat and everything, so...", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "You're my Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Tarantula! Could somebody get me outta here? Please? / I'll help you, John Cena. / No.", "c": ["John Cena", "Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "S07E10"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey, guys, listen. Leslie's gonna walk in and say something that sounds very boring but is actually a really big deal. So when I give the signal, just everybody cheer like crazy.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "This is about people who are moving, Garry. Not everything is about you.", "c": ["Tom", "Garry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Also I'm retiring. That's three, Garry.", "c": ["Garry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Well, you jinxed us, Garry. Thanks a lot.", "c": ["Leslie", "Garry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "which is just a real cool thing for a public space.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I wasn't paying attention most of the time. Fortunately, the citizens of Pawnee didn't pay attention either. So if there's credit to take, I will humbly take it. And if there is blame... it's your fault.", "c": ["Mayor Gunderson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I'm realizing I know nothing about the logistics of how to start an underground dance competition, but someone here will.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, you completely disgraced yourself and destroyed an entire town.", "c": ["April", "Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Les-legally Blonde!", "c": ["Garry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "What am I supposed to do with these? Yeah, you're right. I should probably keep them. They're a size 6 1/2. Too small for you anyway.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Shia LaBeouf is one hell of a jewelry designer, by the way. Man's really found his calling.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "What better place to ask a woman to marry you than an old man's public memorial?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Really makes you consider the 'postulence' of time.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "We're born, we survive as long as we're useful, and then we're killed, either by our body's natural decay or by those younger and stronger.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Before I die, I'm freezing my head like Ted Williams. Wait a thousand years, thaw it out, slap it on a robot, keep on balling.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Was he killed by a younger, stronger barber?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Walter Gunderson and his wife had an open marriage. It kept him happy. It kept his wife happy. Hi, Evelyn. And it definitely kept me happy.", "c": ["Ethel Beavers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Because for 46 wonderful years, he spent night after night exploring every nook and cranny of my body. Grow up, you prudes. We're all adults.", "c": ["Ethel Beavers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "And not just because he was a dynamite lay.", "c": ["Ethel Beavers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "And not just because he was a dynamite lay. Good night, you animal.", "c": ["Ethel Beavers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "A multiplatform media experience, an action movie with explosive graphics, fast cars, and a hero with one mission-- to propose to his lady. A hero named... Tom Haverford.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Over the past 15 years, I have spent nearly $100,000 at your banner store. My credit card company called me about it. Not to question the charges but to sincerely ask me if I was mentally stable.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Oh. What was that thing we ran for again? City councilor. I don't know. All right, if you say so. I tell you, it's so hard to remember boring stuff like that.", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Yeah, 'cause I'm getting ready to go on a big trip, to space. That'll be really fun too. Everything in life is always just so fun, right?", "c": ["Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I've already been to space. I was the second person to walk on the moon. Buzz Aldrin. Nice to meet you. Nice try. That's the guy from Toy Story.", "c": ["Andy", "Bobby Newport"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I sat in the same chair. Salvatore put the same cape over me. Then he'd always ask me about the same thing... nothing. It was perfect.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "As you know, I don't believe in tipping, so I will collect my change from your wife.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "What am I supposed to be, some kind or rock star?", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I came up with a backstory for my character. She's married to a French billionaire, and she has a twin sister, identical, and they keep-- Leslie, you have one line.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Ah, zut alors! - Get 'em, boys! - Freeze! Stunt double.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jean-Ralphio", "stunt performer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Lucy, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to marry me.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "No, it wasn't. You just destroyed my case.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Really? So you were born in the 1990s? Ooh! Mmhmm.", "c": ["April", "Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Money, please! Money, please. My money, please?", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "And some gross things with those juicy city hall interns. Ga-ga-goink!", "c": ["The Douche"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Ugh. Being nice made me feel terrible.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I'm gonna turn the mayoral office into my oral office. Boom! Thought of it a second ago, had to pop back in. Had to.", "c": ["The Douche"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "No, that's not it. Are you in my Frisbee golf league? Oh, yeah. I play for the Super Spinners. Oh, I'm on the Frisbee Champs. I named us.", "c": ["Andy", "Jeremy Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "This is from the Isle of Islay in Scotland. This is as Eastern as my wisdom gets.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Whenever my hair feels it has completed its journey, it simply sheds itself off.", "c": ["Jeremy Jamm"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I hate you so much. And I love you, my brother.", "c": ["Ron", "Jeremy Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Hey, it's pizza time. And you've lost it.", "c": ["April", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I'm a cool dudette. Hey, it's pizza time.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "No, no, no, that's just me looking out for you. See, girls get mad horny when you propose. That's why I do it all the time.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I spent so long trying to forget about Ice Town, but it's part of my life. I mean, it set me on this path. It led me to Pawnee, to my job, to Leslie. I like that Ice Town happened, and I don't want to erase it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Garry Gergich, how would you like to be the next mayor of Pawnee, Indiana? No!", "c": ["Ben", "Garry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "So what's your story again? I mean, like, how married are you? You down to clown? You in that rude mood?", "c": ["Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I'm writing an electronic opera about Brittany Murphy, and I do the chandelier design for my friend's drag puppet show.", "c": ["Typhoon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I'm writing an electronic opera about Brittany Murphy, and I do the chandelier design for my friend's drag puppet show.", "c": ["Typhoon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Everyone was on their stupid bikes. I was like, 'Ew.'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "Look, if you didn't want to be on call 24-7 for emergencies, then you should not have gone into the high-stakes world of banner making!", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I'm flying!", "c": ["Garry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "I'm flying!", "c": ["Garry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "S07E11"}, {"t": "And any perfect day involves crying uncontrollably.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Perhaps we could skip ahead and just hit the highlights? Ah! The debate about getting a pod-based coffee machine.", "c": ["Leslie", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "'Anything is possible if you follow your dreams.' Johnny Karate. Except getting a swing fixed. None of us actually work here anymore.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "The vote was four to three / Donna said to get rid of me / But Ron was suspicious 'cause my coffee was delicious", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Come on, Garry. You're the mayor now. Have some dignity.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I cannot wait to fix that swing so we can get your little butt right into it. I know it's weird. Whatever. It motivates me.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Five points for Hufflepuff.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Thanks to Leslie's scrapbook 'Thanks Form the Memories!'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "That crazy story about you getting kicked out of En Vogue. Technically, I kicked them out.", "c": ["Leslie", "Donna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "You can watch them build the new Space Haystack around the Space Needle.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I can hardly see the needle anymore. I know. It's kind of the point.", "c": ["Joe", "Donna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I think it's all that coffee and legal marijuana. Has people wanting to buy houses quickly and irrationally.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "The school cut the math club... And math. They just don't teach math anymore.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Call Satan's niece.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Are you gonna buy me a bunch of leather handbags?", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I single-handedly started that door-knockers earring trend.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I am calm. I am grateful. I am Craig.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "And then I thought, 'Oh, no. He's insane.' 'That person is psychotic, and I need to call the police.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "My name is Craig Middlebrooks. I'm the part-time sommelier here at Tom's Bistro. And I'm a very good singer!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Do you have any regrets? Not one. Not a single one. Do you have any regrets? Are you kidding? Thousands! Most recently, this trout!", "c": ["Craig", "Typhoon"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Shotgun! W-we're just taking the elevator. I get to push the buttons! I called it!", "c": ["Andy", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Get with the times, you Luddite.", "c": ["Ethel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "That sapphire has the power to activate the Cuban Missile Crisis!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Wait. Seriously? I -- 'cause I will go do that right now.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Did you eat all the candy? No! Did you? Yes. But that's not what's wrong.", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I want to put a babe in you, babe.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Or even a little... Boy April.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm Sandra Dee... O'Connor. Get it? Sandra Dee plus Sandra Day O'Connor? Who's Sandra Dee? Who's Sandra Day O'Connor? Forget it.", "c": ["Leslie", "April", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "generational_humor"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "And I am the Lamplighter, a character from my new board-game sequel 'Cones of Dunshire: Winds of Tremorrah.' Gameplay Magazine called it 'punishingly intricate.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "All right. Let's play. Really? No.", "c": ["April", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Granted, I'd just face-planted on my rollerblades. That's what they were laughing at.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Take one of our kids. We don't need all three.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "You think that's the only time we had sex? Yes!", "c": ["Leslie", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "But Andy and I are cool already, so our kids will be, like, really lame and weird.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "You have kids because you and Andy are a team, and you want to bring in some new team members.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Burt Macklin Jr.? Mm. We need a Halloween angle. How about Demon Spawn Baby Satan Dwyer?", "c": ["April", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Maybe Burt Snakehole Ludgate... Karate Dracula Macklin Demon Jack-o'-Lantern Dwyer? We call him Jack for short?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Listen to me very carefully. I don't know who you are or what you want, but I have a particular set of skills...", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Welcome to the team, little guy.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Will you pretend to be my wife for an insurance scam? But then we fall in love for real! Also, can I have a pair of your gym socks?", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "It's not for anything weird. It's just a fetish I have.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Don't, don't be suspicious. Don't be suspicious.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio", "Mona-Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Yeah, Yoko had a real killer bod. Just like you.", "c": ["Jamm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Can you at least call me Ben? No can do, accounting nerd.", "c": ["Ben", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Hey, all my data suggests that the country is definitely trending calzone. Yeah. Ugh. The worst.", "c": ["Ben", "April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Today, Tom Haverford is broke, destitute, and worst of all, swaggerless.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Who could have predicted that the country would run out of beef?", "c": ["Lucy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Did you see '10 fast 10 Furious: Tokyo Drift 3?' I did not. No. Well, you might be the only one. It made $2.9 billion.", "c": ["Tom", "Ron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "'Sniper Race Delta: Beijing Inferno.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "But what do we definitely not what to be? A Garry! A Garry! A Garry!", "c": ["Tom", "Audience"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Best wishes. And I mean every word of it.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "As president of City Council, I, Councilwoman Brandi Maxxx, star of more than 11,000 adult films in the last two years,", "c": ["Brandi Maxxx"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Man, Gayle looks amazing.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "They spelled his name wrong on the tombstone. Ah... Close enough.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I had met a guy online, and we started chatting a lot, and I really liked him, but he turned out to be a computer program that a scientist invented to test the gullibility of human women.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "He texted me, 'game running into overtime. I'll try and stop by.'", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I calculate the cost of my labor at $38.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Don't get emotional, Vaughn. You're embarrassing yourself.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Congratulations. You now own 51% of the Lagavulin Distillery.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I mean, we were workplace proximity acquaintances for many years.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Move. Need the congressman. This is time-sensitive.", "c": ["Jen Barkley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Yes. Neither can anyone else.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Did you use an egg donor or give Chris a hall pass for a night? Once again, they are my biological children. Once again, I don't believe you.", "c": ["April", "Ann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Ann, you rainbow-infused space unicorn... Ann, you beautiful, sassy mannequin-come-to-life... Ann, you opalescent tree shark.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Yeah, we know what that means -- More smart room for it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "malapropism"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I guess what I'm saying is, I'm out of your league, and you need to move on. What? Sorry. I stopped listening when you called me sugarpea.", "c": ["Tom", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "I took the quiz in your book about what kind of person I am. I'm a Ron. Ha. I'm usually a Tom, but sometimes, I'm a Don.", "c": ["Ron", "Tom", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "3% off. Oh, my God. You're too generous, Tom.", "c": ["Tom", "Leslie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "A [Bleep] Library?", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Hey, babe, for this picture, should I be Burt Macklin, Johnny Karate, or my new character, Sergeant Thunderfist, M.D.?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "S07E12"}, {"t": "Someone has stolen my guitar", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "If we don't get that guitar back, the peace in Iraq will be canceled", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "I'm drowning in the adult end of the pool, and the lifeguard's off in the bathroom pooping", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "That instrument is worth literally $900 million", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "A one-way ticket to the Funky Monkey Dunk Tank!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "It's the capital of the entire world", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "It's this crazy statue of this giant monster sitting on a chair that represents all of America's enemies", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "April's reaction to the missing tarantula", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "I took it out to play hide and seek. I couldn't find it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "April's Animal Corner has turned into one of our favorite segments", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Here's a disclaimer. I didn't read this disclaimer.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Known locally to Venezuelans as 'The Devil's Fist'", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "My contract is very specific. I do not have to answer that question.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "The wood does not taste like cherry. You cannot eat it.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Always remember, kids, when you find something new, you must lick it before you eat it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "That is incorrect, in a number of ways.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "You are mistaken. Remove the graphic.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Boring Buzzer sound effect", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Not the fastest. What about teleporting?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Nothing is impossible, kids.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "You asked me to do this. This was a favor...", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Never attack a real postal employee. We're allowed to attack Mailman Barry because he volunteered", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "I kind of thought I'd be holding a piece of wood or something. But, you know, always happy to help.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Literally, because normally I have a script that I have to stick to. But I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "It's kind of a nightmare.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Hire Very Good Building Company for your construction needs. Or do not. I am not a beggar.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.73, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "'Phenomenon' means 'to explore a cave.'", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "I was super wasted.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Hopefully there's a pit in Washington D.C. that I could fall into.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Still do!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I lost it. The day planner's gone. I can't find it anywhere.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Fitting, really.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Andy, I am here in this weird, flat place", "c": ["Edgar"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Well, technically, only the Queen can knight somebody, but I'm so rich that she lets me do what I want.", "c": ["Edgar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Winter is coming for Ser Ben Lightstorm.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Healthy food is for suckers. It tastes like garbage and if you say you like it, you're a chump and a liar.", "c": ["Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "We were basically playing covers of Dave Matthews songs. So I guess you could say Dave Matthews was doing what we were doing.", "c": ["Andy/Johnny Karate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "self_deprecating"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Truly was a mitzvah. I should mention, I'm a rabbi now.", "c": ["Jean-Ralphio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "I would've chugged that entire gallon of milk, had I not started puking out of nowhere.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "My name is Burt Tyrannosaurus Macklin.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Just drain the ocean.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "I'm a cop! I should get some handcuffs too!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "He's not. I want to make it clear, he's not.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "President Jimmy Carter stole my guitar?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Wait. You're Andy. Yeah. I'm Andy. From the information I got I just assumed you'd be like 10 years old.", "c": ["John Cena", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "You're going in the dunk tank, bud. I don't wanna go in the dunk tank.", "c": ["Andy", "John Cena"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Is anybody in charge? Uh, a little help?", "c": ["John Cena"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Well, not here, here, because this studio actually has a show where divorced couples work out their problems, so that might be weird if that thing was hanging over them.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "I once found a rock that looked exactly like Santa Claus. Hat and everything, so...", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Like, even better than my all-time favorite host, Tom Snyder, which is crazy.", "c": ["April"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "You're my Verizon-Chipotle-Exxon.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Could somebody get me outta here? Please? I'll help you, John Cena. No.", "c": ["John Cena", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Parks and Recreation", "ss": "parks-and-recreation", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "S07E13"}, {"t": "Immigration? - Revenue. Mrs. Rose! There are people here from the government!", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "I've been gutted! John, I've been stripped of every morsel of pleasure I earned in this life!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Those bags are not for you. My boyfriend bought those for me. So, theoretically, they are his!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "My very soul has been kidnapped. There's no ransom. No one's coming to save me!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "No! Did you put Kristen with Robin? They don't like each other!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "The kids. The children are dependents, Moira.", "c": ["Lawyer", "Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Yes, I bought that as a joke for my son. Wait, you actually purchased that town? Yes, I purchased the town. How else could I get the deed?", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "You could've photoshopped the deed! And saved the money! Why would I Photoshop a deed? The joke was owning the town!", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Well, homelessness is still on the table.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "There's like, cows all over the place. Like, everywhere. I don't know if there's an infestation.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "So if you're looking for an ass to kiss, it's mine!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Children, keep an eye on these bags. Apparently in hell, there's no bellman!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "David, what are we... - Shut up! - You shut up! - Um, you shut up! - You shut up!", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "So we cater more to off road truckers and drunk teenagers.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "I just want a bathtub and a long extension cord, please.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "You know, I did the deed in just about every room in this place.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "if a forensic team came in here with one of those blue lights, this place would just light up!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.43, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Have a ball in the land down under! Ever wanna ride a kangaroo?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "looks like you got all the channels except for Channel 19 for some reason. I don't know why.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "You can find it right outside the doors to your left, right beside the Hammam spa. Would you like me to book you a treatment while you're at it?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Do you mind if I use your toilet?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Yes, that train has left the station, if you know what I mean!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Because if someone were to break in here in the middle of the night wanting to murder us, they would attack this bed first. So I need this bed.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Sort of, that was the plan, yeah.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Like, whenever stupid Mary-Kate stops hogging his plane.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "What kind of sociopath abandons her family in some vomit-soaked dump to gallivant around the world with her dumb, shipping-heir loser boyfriend she's known for three months?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Um, David, it will be four months next month!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "I actually think this place is kind of cute.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Remind me to get that window fixed. It will not open.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Oh, look! You've got Channel 19!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Roland, could you get the fuck out?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "There's a pharmacy worth of drugs wearing off on most of us right now", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "I'll just get the fuck out of here.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "It is charming. It is quaint. It's like out of a storybook.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "And I am appalled that my baby girl has turned into a selfish, duplicitous whore!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Oh, hello! Hi, I'm Twyla. I'll be your waitress today.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "But he is learning Spanish. No mas, le duele! I think it means, 'Stop, it hurts.'", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Also, you have a big thing of dandruff on your eyebrow.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Oh, brisket!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "There's a bumper sticker of a naked Helen Mirren.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Johnny, when I was a kid and I did a bad thing, my father took the doors off my room. And he said to me, 'Roland, privacy is earned.'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "What the hell does that have to do with privacy? Nothing. I just got mad and I took your doors.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "I don't suppose you saw any hobos or crackheads loitering around the hotel today?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "'Cause I wanna hit the pawn shop before it closes. I owe my crack dealer a ton of money, so\u2026", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "I have asked you thrice now for a towel so that I may wash this town off my body.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Right now, some local is pawning my earrings for crank.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "the one thing I could hide under my tongue.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "I took your earrings out of here and I put them in my shoe. For safekeeping.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "I've hated that guy ever since he asked me to do lines with him at my 60th.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Pick up a hammer and nail this coffin shut!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "remember that time when he gave me his ex-wife's engagement ring?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Can you do me a huge favor? And never repeat this to anyone that you respect, okay?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "And never repeat this to anyone that you respect, okay?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Of course, by then our feet will be shoeless and filthy and mangled from walking on cigarette butts and broken beer bottles.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Let's all pray we don't wake up.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Our Cup Runneth Over"}, {"t": "Is it blood? No! There's... there is leak in the ceiling.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "What are you wearing? What is that? A nightgown? / It's a nightshirt, David.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "You might want to rethink the nightgown first. There's an ebenezer scrooge thing happening right now.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Oh my God, that's who I was thinking of. / My best to Bob Cratchit.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "This bell is broken. / Yeah, sorry. It's more or less decorative.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "He's a good guy, he's just a big drinker.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "He's the best one. He's also the only one so...", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Yeah... unfortunately, due to a lack of everything, we don't do room service.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I'd rather drink the pipe-water. / I hear ya.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "He said he'd never date someone with a toe ring and yet...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Rub my back. / What?! No. / I rubbed your back many a nights when you were little. / Yeah, in exchange for half my allowance.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "she has hakuna matata tattooed on her foot. / A Disney tattoo shouldn't be a surprise.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Actually, now that I think about it, where are those friends? / They're just giving me space right now. / Because they're considered people.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "We actually both decided that it was best that he see other people so...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "You are blind to reality and for that I am most proud", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "but our worlds evil twin... has reared her ugly... / Okay. I'm taking my journal into the bathroom. Where I will be shutting the door.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Oh, I love your complexion.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Mr. Rose and I would like to put a for sale sign on this incredible town.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "You know, because of the humiliating... / Yes, we know. We know. We know.", "c": ["Ray", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I need to confer with the financial powerhouse of the family.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Son of a bitch!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "No, that's just the way they smell.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I just pushed the bed against the wall and put down a bucket where the bed was.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I don't even know what 'tailgate' means. In my mind I'm picturing like a Klan rally.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Yeah, just fewer pointy hats.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I'm not really in the mood to be a victim of a hate crime tonight so...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Um, yes. Love that journey for me.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Maybe a neck tattoo would be cute. / No, it wouldn't.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "So Johnny Rose wants the ol' Johnny Hancock, huh?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 3.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "You're not rejecting my hospitality, are you, Johnny? Because that really wouldn't be a good way to start things off, I don't think.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Johnny, you want that, to get that you need this.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "obviously she'd be super devastated if I bailed last minute", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Davis, you've got nothing on tonight. / How... how do you know that. / What do you have on tonight? / What?", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "It's a dance. And sometimes you lead. and sometimes you follow. / And which are you doing now, John?", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Following in the game but leading in the dance, right? And he thinks he's leading in the dance, but only because I've allowed him to think...", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "And if I bang my head and slip beneath the surface, so be it, Mr. Rose.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Apparently the plumber's in rehab.", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "David, for the gate party tonight is it more of a leather pants thing or... / Son of a bitch!", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "You have a really lovely home. It's really um, understated. / Thank you. I get a lot of my ideas from magazines. / Don't be modest. This is 100 percent you and only you.", "c": ["Moira", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "It's the treat that keeps our love life percolating. It's like an aphrodisiac with him.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "she would walk into the space wearing a clay mask of a fawn, remove her clothing and breast feed members of the audience. It was a commentary on income inequality.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Wow... Heady stuff.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I wish I could pull off the whole gloomy, no makeup look. It's so French.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "A town this size, you've either been through 'em or know a little too much about 'em.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "this swan is best when she flies solo.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I tried reading that thing it is really boring.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I don't think it's gonna pass. I don't think it's passing. / Migraines can be so awful. / Yeah, well, not this one. Not this one.", "c": ["David", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Why don't you lay down on our mattress. The sheets are in the dryer but there is rubber pad.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I brought vodka as a house gift. / I don't see it.", "c": ["Alexis", "Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Well, my sister texted me 'help'. And my mind went straight to deliverance. So I wasn't too far off.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "That's funny because your sister texted me from across the bonfire and said you'd probably show up here because you were bored and lonely and had nothing better to do.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "or you want to finish high school? / I'm not sure, I couldn't hear over your husband's chewing.", "c": ["Moira", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Although I know those boys are undressing me every time I drop a piece of chalk.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I didn't want to say anything, but you were my favourite character on 'Sunrise Bay'.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I could be doing cartwheels in a thong in front of that television, which I have done, but if your show was on, I was as good as wall paper.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I will go ahead and sign off on the sale... For a slap.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "We've role-played it like a thousand times, but it's not the real thing.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Sign the fucking contract!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "this has been a lot of fun, but I'm starting to smell a little too much like uh, campfire, and denim and plaid and stuff so... bye.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Your choices are beer or beer.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I assume a pint glass is out of the question?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Just open your throat. And go down, 'cause you're tall. / Just widen your throat!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "This is my town and you're gonna play by my rules. Comprende? / I'm just messing with you, man! Come on! / Or am I? / No. I am.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "I mean, most people just thought it was a waste of money that it would never sell, you know? Who in their right mind would buy it! Then along came you.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "This is the dark side of the moon, Johnny. And we'll be here another 20 years, tucked in a crater, lost to all.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "You're being super loud right now. I can hear you thought the headphones! So if you can just wrap it up in here. 10 to a 5. Thanks.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "Good riddance, is what they said.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Drip"}, {"t": "And it's all yours, Johnny, it must be a nice feeling, considering you don't have a lot right now. You know, because of the crooked business manager. You know, the money scandal...", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Johnny pointing out the suggestive positioning on the town sign", "c": ["Johnny", "Ray"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "people come from all over to take a picture with it", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, I think I see it now. His shoulders are too big.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "They dare to call me irrelevant? Shag carpeting, that's irrelevant!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Anonymous. Ominous.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "You mean the hitchhiker that was burning meat over a garbage can?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "she was face down on the carpet before dragging herself into the closet", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "I thought she was maybe looking for a contact or something", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "No, I did Saint-Tropez, so. And I did her birthday, and Aspen twice.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "my horoscope said that I shouldn't assume responsibility for anybody but myself today", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Yeah, and my horoscope says, why don't you go in and help your mother!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Though it is kind of fun to watch, though. Not when you're the one she's trying to back over with a car.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "I don't think you understand, I already have it.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "You want the smooth under eyes of a 16-year-old, get a job!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "What kind of name is Kika anyway?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "You were a couple of doe eyed lovers aboard a trans-Atlantic airship filled with gas!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "(Snorts like a pig) You date pigs.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "I just remembered that being a mother is not your strong suit.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "I was hungry! But I could still eat.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Um, something in like, art curating, or trend forecasting.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Not seeing anything in art curating, or trend forecasting, that's weird.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Which is what, forty, forty-five something an hour?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Mmm-hmm, exactly.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "she will have scrambled egg whites and some steamed spinach, please", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Oh wow, I'm really bored.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Are you, like, a poor person, or?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Gwyneth Paltrow does a compost gift exchange.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "and hoping the building will collapse.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "That must have taken such courage to ask me that.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "That's all that I'm apparently qualified to be.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "I'm interviewing to be a bag boy, not a personal injury lawyer.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "I ran out of eye cream.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Colostomy bag pants!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Raise your swords!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "We're not here to play, or to have fun!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "It's not your fault, the script is garbage!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "The quiet suffering of a woman trapped in a relationship with a simpleton.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "(Shouting) What is it you need?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "He discovered this land, he developed it, and he turned it into the little slice of heaven that it is.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "It looks like your great grandfather's (Bleep) your great grandmother right up the ass!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "That isn't even Horace's wife! That's his sister.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "we don't do that sort of thing with our sisters!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "The opportunities will diminish, and the ass will get bigger, oh, you can bet your bottom dollar it will! Especially yours. You're going to have a huge ass.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "And you, future baldy. Sorry, hairless, homeless!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "This is worse. This is much worse!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "This is worse. This is much worse!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Dont Worry, Its His Sister"}, {"t": "Motels this size we're basically always face to face. In the same room.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Well, put them over the t-shirts then.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Um... all that's missing is my middle name. / Then fill it in please. / Do I have to do that?", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Do you not know my middle name? / Of course I do. I blessed you with it. / Okay, so um... then what name should I put down then?", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Alexis... something rose.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Wait. Alexis has a middle name? Why is this the first time hearing of this? Do... do I have a middle name?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Now you come into the room.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "We sent them to the best boarding schools, we hired the best nannies... We did everything right.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Um... I drove into the Prada Store on Rodeo Drive. In fairness, it did look a lot like, um, the entrance to a parking garage. And I was high at the time.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "This isn't say yes to the dress, princess. Orange is the new orange.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "You try putting a cashmere sweater in the washing machine. It'll bite your wrist.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "It's one chromosome away from a crocheted blanket.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Yeah, funky is a neon t-shirt you buy at an airport gift shop, next to a bejeweled iPhone case. This... this... is luxury.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Speaking of unfit homes, why do you live in a barn? / What's wrong with living in a barn? / Mm... nothing, if you're a goat.", "c": ["Alexis", "Mutt"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "I got these at a showroom in Paris. / I got these on clearance rack at Target. / $850. / 850 what? / Eight hundred- / Dollars?! / $850 dollars.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "My car's worth less than your pants. / Well, I've seen your car and that makes sense to me.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "My mom has this thing where half the time she thinks I'm her cousin Angela. And it's getting harder and harder to coordinate visitation times with my dad in prison.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Sadly, and most of the time, we have no interest in what's going on with you.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "No, Johnny, they had to guess which one was the truth. / Mm... which one was the lie. / It's just-it's just one lie. / You said two lies. / No, it's- / No, the game is 'two truths and a lie.' / It's truth. / That's the game. / Well, yeah, because babies play that at their birthday parties.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny", "David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Um, I'm miserable, drunk, and hate this game. So... here's a hint... Sadly, I'm not drunk.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Um... okay. My eyes are brown, I am basically sample-sized, and one time I escaped from a Thai drug lord's car trunk by bribing him with sex.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "I clearly would never bribe anybody with sex.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Everyone can just calm down because Aroon was a lovely gentleman until he ran out of money.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Mm-hmm. Guys like that will bone anything. / Well, not anything. / Stop. / 'Cause that would mean... / Stop. Stop. / That would include... / Stop it. / You. Which it doesn't. / Don't. / Ew.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Oh, that is my favourite Liam Neeson movie.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Perhaps a new position would help?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Couldn't put another thing in my mouth.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "It's too, you know... / Funky? / Sure. Let's go with that.", "c": ["Wayne", "David"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "This is French suede, with a vulcanized-rubber instep, okay? You've lost my trust and my business, so...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Look, I know you probably think that you're this handsome man around town who's like... Handsome, mysterious... And handsome and homeless-y", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "I have been in the middle of some very messy group scenarios", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "It's our son, Mutt. We're talking about our son.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "It's our son, Mutt. We're talking about our son.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Good luck with birth control, right?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Good luck with birth control, right?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Well, I just 'sold' a pair of sunglasses on here and now dieforfash87 is telling me she won't pay 'cause she thinks they're fake.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Wayne huffs keyboard cleaner for a living.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "So why are you sneaking around with your mom anyway?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Um... yeah, because they always wanted a daughter with a record, who dropped out of college, so... Pretty much delivered on that one.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "So I thought you might be lonely without your clothes. So if this isn't too dirty for you, I could help take care of your stuff.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Wait, you wanna have sex with me? / No. I don't think anybody has sex in here unless they're being paid for it.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "Emma. Your middle name is 'Emma.' / Is it? / I'm sorry! No, Hannah. / I'm embarrassed for you. / Elspeth. / No! / I think it's Elspeth. / It isn't! / I should know! / Wow.", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis", "Moira", "David"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "I'm sorry! No, Hannah... I think it's Elspeth.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bad Parents"}, {"t": "David walking in on his parents having sex - 'Oh my go-oh my God!'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'I saw hell is what's happening'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'having sex is not just about making children so they can grow up and make you feel bad about having sex'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Shame on you for attempting that position at 8 o'clock in the morning'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "Roland's euphemism 'bump the old uglies'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'you wanna bring the boat into port and maybe... get your mast scrubbed'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'What're you guys down to now? Like... twice a day?'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Sex life's in the crapper. I just offered him the cabin.'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'feel free to use the restraints. We keep 'em under the bed'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Pick a safe word'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'I don't want to turn into my parents. Separate beds, separate rooms. Well, separate countries.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Am I being punished for something?' / 'David, are you dirty peeping tom?'", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "If you tell me that you're pregnant, I'm gonna vomit on this floor right now", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Didn't you once take the wrong baby home from preschool?' / 'Alexis looked Chinese as an infant.'", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "Alexis looked Chinese as an infant", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "Roland's elaborate directions to the cabin with multiple turns and landmarks", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'It was so clean. It was really clean.' / 'because you had a maid to keep it very clean for you.'", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'No. I kept it clean after Cecilia cleaned.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'I am looking forward to sleeping in a bed that his not... made for a toddler.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'I'm out of mask.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'you do have an interest in lounging on a bed that mom and dad have had sex all over?'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'I miss being surrounded by loose acquaintances who think that I'm... funny, and smart, and charming.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Any more and game play gets too yelly. It gets very yelly.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Key's under the mat, is it? The key is under the mat! Agh! That's great! Lying son-of-a...'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "Key's under the mat, is it? The key is under the mat! Agh! That's great! Lying son-of-a... Agh! Idiot man! Moron!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "The porn scenario beginning with 'Well hellooooo. Oh, my car broke down and it's raining'", "c": ["Unknown characters on TV"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Oh, all those types of people move away from here.' / 'That's funny.' / 'No, I'm serious.'", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'He finished high school.' / 'I don't love his look.'", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'looks are important? Oh... Why don't we throw a pageant?'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Trust me, if I had time, we would, but we don't, so...'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'She get it?' / 'Get what?' / 'Like \"get it\" get it. It, like the vibe.'", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "Can I be on your team? You sound really fun.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "I was half expecting early unibomber", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Roland has gay friends! Again, shocked and delighted.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'I think that's his wife.' / 'No, they're both called husband.'", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "they just don't know any better", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'She used to be my babysitter.' / 'Great. Wow. Okay.'", "c": ["Eric", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'there's a 50/50 chance there's meat in it'", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'I don't think I can fit ten names on this piece of paper.'", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Can you put yourself down?'", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Who the... Bleep... is this?' / 'He's the worst, okay? So just breathe through it.'", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "No worries. We're here for the party. Keg's in the truck", "c": ["Dane"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'I can't see out of one eye. But I'm still alive, that's the main thing.'", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'this is our cabin.' / 'Oh, no, no, no. This is Roland and Jocelyn's cabin.' / 'No, they're a mile up the road.'", "c": ["Bob", "Johnny", "Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'You can't say mother! You can't say mother!' / 'She wasn't getting it.' / 'That's the point!'", "c": ["David", "Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Every time the vein in my brother's eye twitches, we take a drink.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'I'm sorry that I wanted to have fun tonight and invite a few random guys over and try and make out with them, okay? You're not the only one dying in this town.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'So his eye twitched five times, so drink up, bitches!'", "c": ["Dane"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'we didn't realize that, uh, strangers would already be in the cabin when we locked it.'", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'believe it or not, we are in the middle of a very intense game of drunken charades and my team is losing. Badly.'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'It's not my thing either, but you were right; We're way too similar and I am having a very hard time losing'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Maybe there's um... some other way you can pay me, if you get my drift.'", "c": ["Johnny as Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "'Well, maybe I'll use a bigger screw, Mrs. Rose.'", "c": ["Johnny as Eddie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.29, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Cabin"}, {"t": "Johnny excitedly answers the phone 'Hello, Johnny Rose. Hello? Hello?' followed by confusion when no one responds", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Johnny frantically yelling 'There's something wrong with the phones!' while everyone scrambles to patch the call around", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Alexis casually tells the important business caller 'No, sorry, you have the wrong room. He's actually in room 6' and hangs up", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "David dramatically asking 'Can you get a heart murmur from a lack of sleep? Because I have not slept since we've got here and I think my body is shutting down.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Alexis casually responding 'Well, I hate to admit it, but I actually know very little about heart murmurs.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Alexis saying 'Honestly, David, I have tried to find my pulse like a thousand times and nothing. So don't worry about it.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "David's escalating health panic: 'I have not been able to find kale anywhere here- how long are we going to be talking about you for?'", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "David: 'I think I'm having a heart attack, is what's happening!' Alexis: 'David, you are like 34.' David: 'I'm basically 29.'", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "David's dramatic projection: 'I think you're gonna feel very guilty when I slip into a coma and you have to come visit me in the hospital at hospice.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "The ladybug in the wine: 'There's something in mine.' 'Oh, that's a ladybug. That's one of the good ones.'", "c": ["Moira", "Herb"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Moira's disgust: 'No, this tastes like something one should not put in their mouth.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Moira's sudden enthusiasm: 'Like it? It's fruit wine. What's not to like?' after calling it disgusting moments earlier", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "David's WebMD escalation: 'According to Web MD, I'm having a pulmonary embolism, which is much, much worse.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "David's existential question: 'People just drop dead in the streets out of sheer neglect?' about the town's medical care", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Ted's dark humor: 'Well, if it is a heart attack we're way too far away from the nearest hospital for you to make it through the night.' followed immediately by 'Kidding.'", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Dr.: 'if it is a heart attack we're way too far away from the nearest hospital for you to make it through the night. Kidding.'", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Ted's medical question: 'Now, have you been around any feces in the past two days?' David's horrified 'I don't n...'", "c": ["Ted", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "David's dismissal of panic attacks: 'Oh no, those... Those aren't real. Those are a PR spin for celebrity publicists.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "David's lifestyle contrast: 'I went from living in a 25 hundred square foot Soho live/workspace to a motel room with my sister.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Ted's understated response: 'Wow. Eek. That'll do it.'", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Moira: 'You called it liquid stink this morning.' Johnny: 'The whites seem less stinky.'", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Johnny critiquing wine terminology: 'Peachafication!' Who uses a word like 'peachafication'? A moron... would use that.'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Moira's defensive response: 'That moron is the first moron to offer me an acting role in a very long time.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Johnny complaining about the tote bag: 'But seriously, how cheap ass is that bag?' followed by Moira's disgusted reaction to handling it", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "You have to open your eyes to get it in the bag! Ugh! Good. Ugh!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Twyla asks why Alexis gets dressed up for community service, Naomi Campbell reference follows", "c": ["Twyla", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Alexis's fashion philosophy: 'Naomi Campbell wore Dolce & Gabbana couture to her community service. And just because she was picking up roadkill did not mean that she needed to look like it.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Twyla's confused response: 'Um... I didn't understand a word you just said.'", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Patrick's self-deprecating humor about his wardrobe: 'When a guy can pack his whole wardrobe into an overnight bag, you just don't really think that he'd be much of an interior designer.'", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Patrick's literal laundry method: 'It's just I do beat my laundry against rocks.' David: 'You're a freak.'", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Johnny's film knowledge pretension on set: 'What uh... what kind of lens are we using here?' 'Any primes? Using any primes?'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Alexis dismissing panic attacks: 'Babe, you know that panic attacks aren't real, right? They're just things that celebrities make up to...'", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "David's selfish system explanation: 'I don't wanna have to bring this up... But it's my turn to take a selfish.' Reference to Dubai 2010 disaster", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Johnny's onset interference causing him to be sent home: 'You're making me nervous. And apparently you're making everyone nervous.'", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "David and Alexis at yoga: 'Okay, well, I'm not touching you.' 'Well, I'm not touching you.'", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Jocelyn's oversharing: 'Normally I do this with Roland, but he had a bad burrito so he's M.I.A.' 'Trust me, that's good news for everybody.'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Jocelyn: 'Roland had a bad burrito so he's M.I.A. Trust me, that's good news for everybody.'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Mutt revealing David's 'nervous breakdown' diagnosis: 'Ted told me all about your... Nervous breakdown.' 'When he said it was someone \"precious,\" I knew.'", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Moira's wine commercial takes: 'glace' instead of 'glass,' 'flute line' instead of 'fruit wine,' 'moina rose' instead of 'Moira Rose'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Producer's harsh ultimatum: 'that Bitch gets her Ass out of the trailer' reported by crew member", "c": ["Crew member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Jocelyn's sex advice during yoga: 'Um, have you tried sex?' 'Sex puts me right to sleep. You should have lots and lots of sex.'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Alexis accidentally touching Mutt inappropriately during yoga: 'Omigod! Omigod! I'm so sorry. I'm sssso sorry.' with exaggerated panic", "c": ["Alexis", "Mutt"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Moira's drunken door opening method: 'How did you open the door?' 'I threw a shoe.'", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Moira: 'I can't feel my tongue. But I know it's there because I'm talking.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Johnny's confession about being drunk on Sunrise Bay: 'You were drunk most of season three... And half of season four... End of season five.'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Johnny's motivational speech: 'You're radiant. You're beguiling. You're daytime television's brightest star!'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Yoga confessions: 'I burnt my sausage casserole.' 'I'm pretty sure I'm really lonely here.'", "c": ["Jocelyn", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "Moira's final wine commercial with completely mangled winery names: 'Herb Erfling... ger. Burt Herngeif. Irv Herb-blinger. Bing Livehaanger. Liveling. Burt Herkurn. Ban-Bingo ling-!'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Wine And Roses"}, {"t": "I Googled that bug. It's some sort of demonic cricket that 'takes chunks out of your skin when provoked.' Chunks is the word that Google used.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "I have this irrational fear they are gonna crawl into my mouth and nest at night", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Not with your mouth open anyway.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "That's not a nice thing to say to me.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Hey! Where's my towel?! John? Johnny?! Where's my towel?!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "He had a boner!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "That's not dirt. I used it to kill a bug.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "(Moira screams in anguish)", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Let's not and say we did.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "So now I'm fat and stressed?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "or I will strip out of this robe and I will air dry in the street!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "No, Meadow Harvest is exactly how it sounds. It just changes everyday.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Yes, it is. Yup. At times. And then other times, not.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Run through you like Niagara Falls.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Um, I usually prescribe them to my patients when they're feeling a little... backed up.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Oh! It's basically the same thing.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "I'm sure there's like another girl... somewhere.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "(Alexis giggles and spits out smoothie)", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "I do Coachella every year, so...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "High thread count sheets? Colognes that smell like fireplace...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "So... is this a tweed or a camo situation?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Go. To. Hell! You're off... you're a fool!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Really mean?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "(Awkward silence after David mentions plans)", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Money.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Did you know Richard Gere's middle name is Tiffany?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "I went on a blind date to Bali with Leo, so... I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be fine.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Because he knows how much I love it when mom and dad interrogate your boyfriends.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Oh... alcoholism. / Tsk, tsk. Affair. Poor thing.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Don't even think about it. Ain't gonna happen. Ted, not on the first date.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "So Antonio's buffet, huh? So many choices, one little plate.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "You and your nightgown can tippy-toe back to bed. I'm late.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Turkey virgin!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Does this come in a slimmer cut?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "I actually introduced him to Beyonce on the car ride on the way home, so that was very special.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Well, he did that too.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "So how are your bowels? Good and tight?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "You know, delicate. Fragile. Scrimpy.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Have to admit, not into babies so it's kind of a guessing game for me.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "I wanna say Tanya Harding.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "No, it's a dead possum. Yes, it's a wig, John.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "But not necessarily. / Sad?! You think this is a sad look?", "c": ["Moira", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "I'm stuck looking like every other inmate in this godforsaken prison.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "I feel like one of the Manson girls.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Even tougher when you shoot it in the neck 'cause then it takes longer to die.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "You have a look that says, 'Hi. I'm Jocelyn, and I know who I am!'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "I don't who I am from one moment to the next.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "But if you ever... Ever catch me shopping at the Blouse Barn, you must shoot me in the temple.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "My son is hunting right now with your husband, so I... I know you people have guns.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "'cause usually it's more fun. Usually Ray comes and... gets wasted and... Spends the whole day singing Carole King ballads.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "Jocelyn! You look like Jocelyn!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "It was an indelible image that I had scarred in my mind until I saw what was... Happening up there with you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Turkey Shoot"}, {"t": "She can be an angry drunk, but we were always close.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "That frigid whore!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Well, apparently you can win an Audi. / What colour?", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "don't believe everything you read, dear, please.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Where does a 92-year-old woman need to go?!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "I don't know, John, perhaps the hospital?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "I think you've gotta raise that masculinity bar just... just a little.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Lawnmower exchange with Roland not hearing", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "well, what can I do for you, you 'dumb son of a...'?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Roland's increasingly demanding truck conditions", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "I guess your 'imaginary friend' uses wiper fluid, right?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "No, it isn't! She didn't finish high school.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Look at the work she's had done, it's grotesque.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Okay, where are the tips and tricks? We've been watching this for five minutes, she's talking in circles!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Because it's a scam! / But if your father's willing to go out there and sell his soul...", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Okay, we're going to have a luncheon. / A luncheon?", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "First day of a cleanse, so she's a little whoo!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "There's broken glass? / No, there is not broken glass in it", "c": ["Twyla", "Ted"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "I do not like what this cleanse is doing to your brain. / You're being very rude!", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Ain't she a beaut? / Boy, is she ever, Bob.", "c": ["Bob", "Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "a little peccadillo of mine when I'm buying a car, I like to experience the car one on one", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "driving down that highway of life / feelin' fine and feelin' sunny / going to pick me up some money", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "stop being so generous and nice! / You pinned somebody against a locker?!", "c": ["Alexis", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "He always said hi when he passed me in the halls, and for some reason, it bugged me.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Car breakdown with Johnny's escalating profanity", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Okay, don't wanna tell me where we're going, interesting.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "The unemployment office! / Jeez pal, your business is your business. I don't know why you're telling me!", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "The unemployment office! Okay? I'm applying for unemployment. Jeez pal, your business is your business. I don't know why you're telling me!", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "David staging the fake surprise at the cosmetics", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Can you not just say no for one time, Ted?!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Now you get all decisive-y?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Alexis, you'd like this product. It's all about aging, and dry skin. Oh my God, ew, David!", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "There's something wrong with your face.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Get some money? / I need a cheque, preferably today. Ideally in the next few minutes", "c": ["Clerk", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "All my life. / And your reason for being out of work? / I sold my business, and I got screwed by my business manager.", "c": ["Johnny", "Clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "I employed people, hundreds of people. / You see, and now I'm unemployed.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "And, may I say, doing a fantastic job.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Get out! / I know someone here wants in on this exclusive opportunity!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Sorry, you're... you're an Allez Vous consultant? / I'm actually an executive area manager. / I'm a district manager. / I'm an executive district manager. / I gave up.", "c": ["Moira", "Jocelyn", "Ronnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "In two weeks we had sold everything to the other half of town, and vice versa. / That's... that's funny. / It became a bit incestuous, yeah, very small sales pool.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Marnie and I were, um, how shall I say it? 'Close friends' in high school. / Isn't that right, Marnie? / Marnie likes the bad boys.", "c": ["Roland", "Marnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Oh well, didn't he tell you about the job he was doing for me? / You didn't tell her? / Well, that's important information, Mr. Rose.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny", "Marnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "he was my assistant, he was like my little guy Friday. He would fetch things for me, I'd tell him where to go and he'd go running off", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "because of that whole 'cut the gravy' thing, so.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Hey... I come in peace. What's this? I don't know, it's a pre shave follicle mask or something, I took it from the pile of product that nobody bought.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "You have to understand that you're the first nice guy that I've dated. / They don't like me? / No, they do! They do, they've just always seen nice as a sign of weakness", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Say something super mean. / What, I can't just turn it on in an instant, like you can.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Well, and you, what about you? Are you just going to sit around all day, while I work and buy you dinners? You've gotta go out there and get a job... / Too far. / It's too far, okay.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Well um, one day, and that day may never come, I may call upon you to perform a function. / Marlon Brando! / Yes, but from what movie? / The Godfather. / No, it's the one where he's the big mafia guy. / The Godfather!", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Well um, one day, and that day may never come, I may call upon you to perform a function. Marlon Brando! Yes, but from what movie? The Godfather. No, it's the one where he's the big mafia guy. The Godfather!", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Why don't you just get me a little wiper fluid, and we'll call it even, okay? And also maybe a Kleenex caddy? I've always wanted one of those. That's funny! It is, but I'm not joking.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "Oh Johnny, I told you not to take 'er on the highway. / Yeah, I'm sorry, Bob", "c": ["Bob", "Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "I'll knock twenty bucks off. / You couldn't get twenty bucks for scrap! / All right, thirty bucks! / How about zero bucks?! / I wouldn't give you a dime for this! / Johnny, you're killing me here! / Fifty bucks!", "c": ["Bob", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "I'll throw in a couple of floor mats, but that's my final offer! / Walking!", "c": ["Bob", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Allez Vous"}, {"t": "You broke into his cabin and had sex while he and his wife were in the next room.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Oh... That's Bob.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "No, not Bob. Bob's brother, Carl, died.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "And his arms are so weak. Little muscles like corn nuts.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, we're just talking about my back, sweetheart.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Shouldn't bother Carl.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Some townie douchebag is moving in next door. They've got a baby.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Is there a gun?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "It's 20 seconds in the microwave not 20 minutes, you tool!", "c": ["Sean", "Bree"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "I've been on enough spring breaks to know how this is gonna end", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Is anybody in that hollow chest?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "You know, they say death is just life except you're not here. You're somewhere else, you know? But... But that's okay because at least you're somewhere, you know? But when does... When does somewhere become there? And when does there become here?", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "For here?", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Ooh, wow. Ugh. Yikes! That's... That hurts today.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "C-C-Chris- Carl.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "And I him. Yeah. And I him.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "I clam up pret-pretty good.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "They're like really scummy. Like... very skaggy people, who happened to produce a child that hasn't been taken away from them yet.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "The baby's relatively normal looking.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "They're my cousins.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Bree's not exactly fussy when it comes to introducing men to her vagina.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "I was eating Indian last night, so...", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "your worms are almost all gone, aren't they?", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "think of them as... our kids.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "I just stood up and sang 'Danny Boy.' Not a dry eye in the house.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, dogs sometimes do that.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Does... does that mean it's full?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Out! Out!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Well, you know who's sleeping forever, bud? My ex-stepdad, yeah.", "c": ["Sean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "You smell... very flammable right now.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Apparently, he was trying to unhook his belt from the ceiling fan and... apparently it... It got knotted around his neck.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "But uh... Carl found the studs on that one.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.54, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Mine's shame eating, so yours sounds more fun.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "his was wrapped around the remote. Don't worry, I threw out the remote.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Nothing says we'll miss you like an excerpt from 'Breaking Dawn,' one of Carl's favourites of the Twilight movies.", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "and now... lying... very, very close to me.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "And yet, for Carl, pretty much an all-consuming thing at this point.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "And-and he loved the feel of big tool in his hand, am I right, Bob?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "when Carl was spinning around on that ceiling fan that he was so very proud of", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Well... I-I am here to talk about dying in Schitt's Creek! I'm here to talk about the misery of our lives here and how we might never escape this place, and how we do not wanna end up in a coffin, like Carl, here in this... godforsaken-", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "\u266a Oh, Danny boy, \u266a \u266a the pipes, the pipes are calling... \u266a", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "And if it's any consolation, the dogs told me to tell you that they're super embarrassed about their behaviour, too.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "There'd be slutty little animals running around.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "And I only take in the slutty ones, so...", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "Is it a credit card?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "You know where I got my hat, brah? Where? 'Assholes' R 'Us'.", "c": ["Sean", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "My hat.. I'm wearing it. I'm wearing it...", "c": ["Sean"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "She's not dead, but... She's been coughing a lot lately.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "So, who's pig do we have to slaughter to get an invite?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Carls Funeral"}, {"t": "This was a good choice. Yep. We make good choices. This was a really healthy choice.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "What? It's your dad. He saw me. Fuck! It's the towels again, we need towels!", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Okay, this is a face cloth, and a bath mat.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Are you in danger? Blink, if you're in danger.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Well, I, uh... I've got everything I need. Good seeing you both.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "So, was it cute for you, or what? It was fine. It was... It was weird. It was good. Love that. It was good but weird. I love that!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Ted wants to meet my friends, so I think it's getting kind of serious. It's been two weeks.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Because a podunk baby out of wedlock is not something your father and I can afford to negotiate at this moment.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Well, that's crazy, because all I want is some podunk baby out of wedlock!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I think that you two really, actually need the idea of, um, getting a life.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Uh, walking over to the cafe and ordering a tuna melt is hardly what I would call a 'flourishing social life.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Well, now I don't remember. Yeah, I don't remember.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "You know, the more I think about it, the more I wonder whether David's whole sexually adventurous thing was just a phase. It's not a phase.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "That was just a... Was a one-time thing. That was a one time... Just a blip... Just a blip. Blop. Just a...", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Blippity blop. Blippity blip.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "You know that if it's in your dreams, or over the clothes, it's not cheating, right?", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Event. Oh, it's more of a soiree.", "c": ["Roland", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Pineapples, pig on the spit, the whole nine yards. Oh, you, uh, roast pigs? We do! Sure do. We have a big one hanging in the garage.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Ted", "Roland"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Hoity-toity. All right, I've said it.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I like the wine and not the label.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "No, no, no, I absolutely did that. Just wept for hours in the dark.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "So this whole room... Just gets delivered, as is. This is the 'bachelor's den' here, and then that's the 'executive dining lounge'", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Oh, I should take the rolls out of the microwave. Hot rolls!", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Twyla, I love your outfit, you look like a waitress!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I just wanna wipe my hands all over that! You just keep getting funnier. I'm not joking though, I really do.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Now, listen. I'm the guy in charge of upholding the law here, so if you have any ideas about turning me in, you'd just be turning me in to myself.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Spark it up, Roley! Spark it up.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "We had friends in the FDA, but... When in Rome...", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "The judicial system is really cracking down on its delinquents these days, huh?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Nothing. I mean, we talk, but... We don't really talk about anything. Like, nothing.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Thank you, Stevie. I ordered it online from a restaurant supply place. No sales tax.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "What if I had not been crowned Dairy Princess and moved to the city with my driving instructor?", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Who's the eyebrows buying everyone's drinks?", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "It was funny? Yeah, it was a... It was a fun... It was a funny... It was... Yes.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I bet nobody thought sex with Trixie was funny.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "My son is pansexual. I've heard of that. I know what that is, that's, uh, that cookware fetish.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "But, you know, just pick one gender, and stick with it. Maybe everything would've been less... Confusing.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I just had to get us out of that party. It was like being in an episode of Couples Therapy.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Well, you deserve a Daytime Emmy for that performance.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Not the fact that you're sleeping with a girl, but, you know, I'd be just as happy if you were to bring home one of your guy friends.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Grass, too much grass. Hey, track that cycle, missy!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Moira frantically screaming about something crawling up her leg that turns out to be invisible", "c": ["Moira", "John"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "John's deadpan response: 'Oh, we don't have bed bugs' with complete certainty about their terrible accommodations", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Moira's dramatic concern: 'I can't afford to burn all my clothes' - treating lice like a house fire", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Dee Dee's surprise entrance after John's logical 'If we had lice, I'd have lice'", "c": ["Dee Dee", "Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Dee Dee's immediate concern: 'Do you really have lice? I'd hate to contract lice'", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Dee Dee's backhanded explanation: 'I really wanted to come visit when I heard about your life collapsing, but I got a really big job promotion that week'", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Dee Dee's dig: 'Thank goodness for the Internet. Seemed to be the only thing letting me know you two were still alive'", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Moira's sarcastic response: 'Telephone is also amazing. You just push the buttons and say, Hi, it's me, your deadbeat sister'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "John's passive-aggressive introduction: 'Come say hi to your Aunt Dee Dee. Better hurry before she disappears for another decade'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Alexis's confused question: 'Why did I think that you were dead?'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's memory: 'I think you crashed one of my pool parties with some guy you were calling Uncle Julio'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "All right, you guys treat yourself, okay? Buy yourself something nice. - $100? - Oh, my God.", "c": ["Dee Dee", "Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Dee Dee's accommodation explanation: 'I booked myself into a junior suite at the Comfort Inn in Elmdale... It doesn't have a gym and I'm kind of in the best shape of my life right now'", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Okay, so you're saying that I would be as in shape as you are if I just fixed lights all day?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David calling Grant 'a big, fat liar' about his physique coming from handyman work", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Grant's awkward exit: 'My head is all over the place. She keeps distracting me'", "c": ["Grant"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Stevie's observation: 'Wow. He is wearing a tight shirt'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's sexually suggestive questions: 'So, is he gonna do some repairs on your... undies?'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's awkward rambling: 'Do you. Do him. Do both. Do things. Yeah.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's bitter comment about 'infrequent benefits that our friendship has'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's petty timing: 'Can we do that after you screw Mr Fix-it, or would you like to do it now?'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Twyla's casual mention: 'Your mom did the same thing to me this morning'", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Twyla's father's backstory: 'My dad always said, When in doubt, say it with a song. He was a roadie with Fleetwood Mac and that was the last thing Mick Fleetwood said to him before the band hit him with a restraining order'", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "He was a roadie with Fleetwood Mac and that was the last thing Mick Fleetwood said to him before the band hit him with a restraining order.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's oversharing: 'I tried it once and the guy ripped the guitar out of my hands and he just started smashing it on the ground. Granted, I am tone deaf and he was a super angry Marine'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Jocelyn's backhanded assessment: 'You strike me as the sort of person that had a hard time in high school'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Jocelyn's fashion critique: 'Your floral top, for instance'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's self-aware response: 'The idea of me life coaching another human being should scare you. A lot.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "I knew there was a good person in there somewhere, David.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Jocelyn's parting advice: 'Get the quilted, that other stuff will chafe you right up'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Alexis's story about Saudi prince relationship: 'three-month affair... but for the last two months I was trapped in his palace trying to get to an embassy'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Alexis's relationship wisdom: 'if my boyfriend ever described our relationship as fine, I think I would literally...'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, give me a break. How did you find me?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Well, where else is there to go? And Johnny may have told me.", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "- Thank you? - Ugh. Too late.", "c": ["Moira", "Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Dee Dee's justification: 'considering you had over $500 million in the bank, I'm personally offended that I didn't get more'", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I forgot. - You don't have feelings.", "c": ["Dee Dee", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Moira, the woman dates dive-bar owners, okay? Let her insult us.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "John's pragmatic plea: 'That cheque could pay for fumigation. Better yet, we could move to a place that doesn't have bed bugs'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "John's comparison: 'you spent more than that on wigs that year'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "John's champagne fantasy: 'And then we can buy a case of champagne to wash it down with'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's observation about Grant: 'Like one of those guys that has like a candy bowl of condoms on his bedside table'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Stevie's response: 'I hope so. Wonder what colour I'll get'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Three point five. I'm gonna leave you be because it's not every day you get to go on a date with a guy who owns a windowless van, so that...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Grant's awkward question: 'What're you doing? You checking out porn again?'", "c": ["Grant"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's overly formal exit: 'Warmest regards to you both. Best wishes.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Grant and Stevie's shared assessment: 'Such a weird dude. Yes. Yes, he is.'", "c": ["Grant", "Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Connor's brutal assessment of David: 'Look at you. Look at your pants.'", "c": ["Connor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Connor's self-aware declaration: 'I'm a 16-year-old gay kid living in a town that makes me wanna throw up. The issue isn't me not fitting in. It's me not wanting to fit in.'", "c": ["Connor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Dee Dee's pork obsession at dinner: 'The ribs, the chops, the roast... but I'm definitely ordering pork'", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Dee Dee's manipulation: 'I'm just really uncomfortable right now with my older sister acting like a stubborn child'", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Dee Dee's false modesty: 'I came here in the spirit of giving and forgiving. The gloating thing was a bonus.'", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "I came here in the spirit of giving and forgiving. The gloating thing was a bonus.", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Dee Dee's power play: 'I'm gonna do this for you, but mostly, I'm doing it for me. Why? Because you can't and I can.'", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Connor's relationship advice: 'Have you not seen the 42 films they've made about it? It never works.'", "c": ["Connor"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's defensive response: 'movies aren't always right... I happen to be a little bit older than you are'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "I have a party later. Can you buy me some beer? Uh, no. Can you buy me some beer?", "c": ["Connor", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Connor's party request: 'Can you buy me some beer?' and David's counter: 'Can you buy me some beer?'", "c": ["Connor", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "David's confession: 'I actually hate music'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Grant's bathroom disappearance story", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Stevie's alternative theory: 'or Grant has some serious digestive issues'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "So this is it? After all that? And we paid for the dinner.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "The check amount reveal - Dee Dee 'missed a zero' or two", "c": ["John", "Moira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "She missed a zero. Moira, she missed a zero or two.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "John's final assessment: 'Your sister is a cheap-ass'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "Your sister is a cheap-ass.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Little Sister"}, {"t": "No, her birthday is the second weekend in May. / That's Mother's Day, honey. / I don't think so.", "c": ["David", "Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Maybe Roland's house. / Listen to the words coming out of your mouth.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Oh, snap, David! Talk to the hand, son, because the ears are no longer working.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Cancel your trip, Alexis, because the travel agent is out of the office.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "It's so uncomfortable when he does stuff like that. / No. Absolutely not. I feel so weird about it.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "It's so uncomfortable when he does stuff like that. - No. Absolutely not. I feel so weird about it.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Chicago's Best Deep Dish Pizza Tour", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "But, babe, you're going to a veterinary conference in a Chicago suburb, and I think that's... That's really important for us.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "I'm sure you're from a really solid home and... / David. / Understand. / I'm gonna slap you in the face.", "c": ["David", "Ted", "David", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "David, you and Mom literally ruin my life.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Well, tempting, but it's gotta be something fancy and elegant. You know, black tie.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Roland's entire confused conversation about understanding the plan", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "There is no fundraiser! / Right. No fundraiser. / It's pretend! / Pretend. It's fun time.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland", "Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "It's a cake. / It's a torte.", "c": ["Stevie", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "It's a cake. - It's a torte.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "And wake up chained to a pole in a trucker's basement? Not today.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Okay. Well, when you put it like that, it makes me sound ridiculous, um, which I'm not.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Roland's entire butchered invitation delivery", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "I'm here to personally invite the two of you to a annual... Elegant dress-up event that Jocelyn is hosting.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "The... With the mouth... Cleft palates.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "It's hard to look at those kids and all that, I get it. But you know what? We'll dress them up, too.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Well, who says I can't do both?", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "You had a bug in your hair. - Oh. Ew!", "c": ["Mutt", "David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "I was on the board of some of the most profitable non-profits, from San Francisco to London.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Jocelyn, you must stop being intimidated by me. It's unnerving.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Oh, fuck!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "because I think she's going through something right now. I don't know. Something with her body.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Something with her body.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "My God, she had Hillary shaking last year at the Clinton Foundation dinner.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Well, that was the exit to Elmdale. We've gone too far, we've gotta turn back!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "The Doctors Who Uncleft The Mouths.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Do you people know what the word fundraising means?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "David, I'm sorry, but it's coup d'etat time.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "No, seriously, I might leave. - Okay, last warning. In three. Two.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Okay, well, how do you think I got these glasses from the gas station?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I raised a thief. Go wait in the car!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "What! There's no fundraiser?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Oh, never in the history of surprises has one been so delightfully blindsided.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Yeah, so I need to apologise for my behaviour earlier. - Mmm-hmm. - I think it's just that this whole friend... - It's that lady time, huh?", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "It's that lady time, huh?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Is that okay? - Uh, I normally only slow dance with strangers, at bars... - Right. - After I've had a few... - Uh-huh. But, um, I can make an exception.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Uh, I normally only slow dance with strangers, at bars... After I've had a few...", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Um, did you have to kill a man to get it, or... / I did.", "c": ["Alexis", "Mutt"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "I wore this thing to prom, like, 1,000 years ago, but it did bring me some luck that night, so I wore it here tonight.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "I wore this thing to prom, like, 1,000 years ago, but it did bring me some luck that night, so I wore it here tonight.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "I love my party, John. But please don't ever do it again.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Surprise Party"}, {"t": "Told you I'd sell this town. Didn't I tell you? / Yes. Not to diminish your accomplishment, but you did say that a handful of times. / I think eight, to be exact.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira", "David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "My little suity-cases! Oh!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "If I'm being perfectly honest, it's very low on the totem pole of coats of yours that I like.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I outbid Richard Branson for it at the Kaminski auction.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "It would be her first piece of clothing made outside of mainland China.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I thought everyone just kind of dropped you like flies when you couldn't pick up the tab at the Waverly anymore?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I just have a different kind of relationship with my friends where we don't need to be in constant contact with each other.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "And do what, eat a cronut at a Brooklyn flea market?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "so I can pack how I wanna pack and I don't have to be called a circus freak all the time.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Is it a wig?", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "The coat you kept going on about that one time. / Are you sure it was me?", "c": ["Moira", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Oh, it's absolutely tragic, Jocelyn, that I will never see or speak to you ever again.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "What's an all-inclusive vacation?", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "If I was staying, then yes! A thousand times yes! And if things were different and I wasn't leaving, um, then definitely yes. / So, is that a no? / Yes.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Oh, you just watch a season of Girls and do the opposite of what they do. It's easy.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I mean, I was looking at three bedrooms, but do I really need an office?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Yeah, judging by your tips, I was never really sure.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I don't wanna piss in your punch bowl, okay, but, um, I got a bad feeling about this buyer guy", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "He called me while he was bumping uglies with his old lady. / But that's not the problem. The problem is he put me on the speakerphone.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I mean, who would do such a thing? / I mean, that's something you would do. / No, no. That's not something I would do. / And I can't deal with another you.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "The douchebag is right here.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I'm not a dolphin, Mutt.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "You should really work on expanding your emotional range at some point.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "So, what you're saying is he got a little short with you? / You, uh, weren't quite seeing eye to eye?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Knockoffs are getting so good these days.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I'm gonna feel like Patty LaBelle.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I'm gonna feel like Patty LaBelle.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "His hours were up a month ago, he kept coming anyway. / What? / Yeah, maybe or maybe he just likes pretty girls in hippie hats.", "c": ["Ray", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I like you. I don't want to like you, but I do.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "You've been my only friend, so... Great, nevertheless.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Yeah, not as many as you'd think, so...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Sex in a pan. / Then we'll have dessert.", "c": ["Roland", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "You didn't try it on, did you? / No. / Oh, why not? / I gave it away.", "c": ["Moira", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Smoking in a car with a baby, unless you crack a window, tipping before tax, mixing drinks with cola, and giving away a coat that doesn't belong to you.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Why did you do all that extra community service, Mutt? / I like to stay active. / Really?", "c": ["Alexis", "Mutt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "You know why! / Why can't you just say it?", "c": ["Mutt", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Talk to the hand, son, because I've gotta watch a pig eat.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Is it just me, or is it this dessert that's making me horny?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "$975,000 suddenly seems like such a girly number. / I mean a million. That's bold, that's sexy.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Andy collapses and can't sign the contract", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "Roland and Johnny frantically trying to get Andy to sign while unconscious", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "People do come out of comas. / Oh, I'd kill for a good coma right now.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure I'm engaged, and I'm pretty sure I just cheated on my fiance.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Town For Sale"}, {"t": "You had a room full of brown bags back home, which brown bag?!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "That's an ostrich bag.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "David must've taken it, along with my last molecule of hope!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "I bet he's pawned it by now, to pay for manicures.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Mrs. Rose, you got out of bed. Humph!", "c": ["Stevie", "Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "That's, very considerate, because I know you and David had a... Intimate uh, relationship.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Can you ask her if she has any extra bedspreads?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "I'm still here!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Like, Ted keeps harassing me for an answer to the whole, am I gonna marry him thing", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Well, I'm-I'm sorry for your loss.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "when he'd charter the jet without permission?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "If there's one thing David knows, it's the street value of a woman's bag.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "my great grandmother took it from her husband when she left him, and it has been passed down through all the women in my family, as emergency currency, in case we need to leave our husbands in the middle of the night.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "But you know Alexis will! Yeah, more than once, probably.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Actually, you're standing in my living room, you let yourself in.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "I would love to feel worse about your parents not selling the town, but...", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "it's so tragic, 'cause my mom is in this like, waking coma, and my dad has developed more of a stutter", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "By who? By me.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Thanks, I make sure to moisturize.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "What, are you here to tell me Alexis has skipped town with my lawn mower?!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Roland, these people have literally hit rock bottom, they're not in the mood for your jokes right now. She is.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Oh, I haven't lost him, i know exactly where he is. He's enjoying happy hour at the viceroy without me.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "statistics tell us you have a 48 hour window before you can assume somebody is dead. Yeah, I just said it's been three days. Then do we call off the search?", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Well, good news, folks! They found the truck. And David. Well, that didn't come up.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Well, I think they would've told me if there's a dead body with the truck, honey.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "My best friend in kindergarten ran away, and her parents didn't notice, and she ended up getting adopted by this really rich Asian family in Vancouver, but then they had their own kid, so she kind of got neglected a bit, and I can't remember whether she's back on the streets now, or...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "You just ordered the parfait.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Oh, no, that guy was like, a known alcoholic, and they pulled him out a week ago.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Technically though, someone did leave, and so the dust just hasn't really settled on the whole... us leaving thing. - Yet.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "now don't take this the wrong way, but, is this car your home?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "I'm just super tired from walking, though.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Do I have to remind you of the time that I was taken hostage on David geffen's yacht by Somali pirates for a week, and nobody answered my texts?!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "I had just had my eyelashes dyed, everything was cloudy!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "We slept together! Ooh...", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "There's a bug on your dress. - Ew! Ugh! Oh!", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Miriam makes the most delicious butter. Yeah, I mean, she starts pounding that cream about a half hour too early in the morning, but it tastes exactly like the butter we had at the Ritz in Paris", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "We've spent two sleepless nights, wondering what would happen if nobody came. Would we be stuck with him?!", "c": ["Amish man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Restraint.", "c": ["Amish man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "And yet your time with us has come to an end.", "c": ["Amish man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "These three days you spent with us David, will remain in our memories for many days, and many, many, many nights.", "c": ["Amish man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "I imagine it's customary for strangers to partake in a good, old fashioned amish lunch? Not always.", "c": ["Johnny", "Amish man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "I didn't go missing, David. The FBI knew where I was the entire time.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "You told me that Diane Sawyer gave you that bag, and that it was fake.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "I don't know David, why did you steal my eyeliner? - That was a phase in high school!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Okay, because I have told a lot of people that Diane Sawyer sells fake bags on the down-low.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "I hitchhiked, in the middle of the night, wearing all black! I was basically asking to get hit by a car!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Oh my God, who hasn't, David!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "In fact, I was hoping you wouldn't come back.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Wow, believe it or not, that is one of the warmest welcomes I have received so far!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "I thought, well, there goes my one friend. Try saying that one out loud, it is very dark.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Try saying that one out loud, it is very dark.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "This was before my nose job, how was anyone supposed to recognize me?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Oh David, it's a rare gift to strip vanity of its charm, yet here you are.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Next time, someone will think twice before they steal my truck, yes? Ooh, burn, David!", "c": ["Roland", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "But do you, David?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "We've already done that. What number are we on? Oh my God! Is this not your mother's recipe?", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Finding David"}, {"t": "Oh my God, I guess I was saving it for during your run, then.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Agh, you're like a big, dirty raccoon, David!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh Alexis, you're almost forty, if you want some food, prepare yourself some food!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Nobody can cook, this is basically child abuse!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "That was thrown out after Alexis left her extensions on it, and everything smelled like burnt hair.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "I thought it was an actual table, David.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "There was a plug coming out of the side of it!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Excuse me, but the enchiladas were my mother's recipe.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "I made it for you all the time!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "if that's the way you remember things, sweetheart, that's...", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh my gosh David, it's gonna be so fun for you tonight, doing that with Mom.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Don't touch me! Don't! That's harassment!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Listen, a small favour... I require the use of your kitchen.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Of course I'd say... yes, it's just that that darn stove is on the fritz.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Because this pie is scorching! / It comes and goes, Roland!", "c": ["Roland", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Who'd you call, honey? Bill?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Bill doesn't do stoves. / Then, Gary. / Gary? Our dentist??", "c": ["Roland", "Jocelyn", "Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "as long as you make extra for us, and leave a ten spot over there for the hydro.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Which isn't so much a rush as much as it is just a... A handful of people showing up at a leisurely pace.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "I am just gonna put these plates down. I just think I'll think better, once the blood rushes from my arms, back to my head.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Totally, they're just heavy plates!", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "If you had anything to offer.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, okay, it's just 'cause the last time I was in here, you told me to leave your office, so, I guess I was just having a hard time gauging where we're at, as two people who used to um... be well, um...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "I don't like you anymore. I mean, like that.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Are you wearing makeup? / So what if I am?", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh my God, it's like we're sharing a brain!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "No! / 'Cause you and me... / You and I... / No, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! It's-mmm!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Bob, you told me you had a sweet little office space, okay, and frankly, working out of a garage is not what I had in mind.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "An office! You know, a chair, for starters!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "I don't know if it was the timbre of his voice, or the fact that he smelled like baby powder, but I just, I physically couldn't do it!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Like, there must be people out there who say yes to getting married because they can't say no, and then what happens?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, I'm pretty sure those people get divorced.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "You know, it's interesting, the longer we have this conversation, the more over it I get.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "In fact, I'm having a hard time remembering when I wasn't over it.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "What does 'fold in the cheese' mean? / You fold it in. / I understand that, but how?", "c": ["David", "Moira", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Okay, I don't know how to fold broken cheese like that! / Then I don't know how to be any clearer!", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "You just fold it in.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "If you say 'fold in' one more time... / It says, fold it in! / This is your recipe! / You fold in the cheese, then! / Don't you dare! / You fold it in!", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "If you say 'fold in' one more time...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "David! What does burning smell like?!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, I was about to give Hazel a blood test. / Well, I think it's probably better if you put Hazel down. / What?! No, she'll be fine!", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "You're the perfect boyfriend, Ted. / Thank you... / But... / I knew there was a 'but.'", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted", "Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "No, no, no! There is no 'but.' / But you're just not the perfect boyfriend for me.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Yeah, no, I pieced that part together.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, I did book us a two week couples vacation that's non-refundable. / Ooh, yeah, that makes... That makes it harder.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "They're Japanese graphic novels. It's called Manga. / Oh, well, that sounds like a... Lucrative career choice.", "c": ["Eric", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Either does Johnny, and he's not even related to me.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "And uh, just so you know, garage opens at eight, but if you're here a few minutes before that, even better!", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "or start a car without a key. / Then I met your father, and suddenly I had people to do everything for me.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "And now I know how it feels to be utterly helpless, like you, and your sister. / I don't know if I'd call us 'helpless.' / No need to make me feel better.", "c": ["Moira", "David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "like you, and your sister.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, that's simple enough, any fool could do that. / Did you do that?! / No.", "c": ["Moira", "David", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "And it's rare to find someone that beautiful, and smart, and deeply selfish, yet charming!", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Not bad. Not bad, you two! Not bad at all!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "It's creamy. Very creamy.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "Although it's really not that complicated, once you fold in the cheese!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "We had a lengthy conversation about hosiery and menopause. / Again, that was me.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Family Dinner"}, {"t": "How is it that a moth can find its way into a triple locked titanium suitcase?! - The perils of owning cashmere.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Alexis hasn't been here for a week and a half. She's at Mutt's. - Well, that's simply not true. I had breakfast with her just yesterday. - That was me!", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "We had a lengthy conversation about hosiery and menopause. - Again, that was me.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, I don't work here. - Oh... that's-'cause you're behind the desk, and everything.", "c": ["Johnny", "Customer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Oh yeah, no, I mean I 'work' here, but I don't actually work 'here'... in the garage. I mean, I am working here in the garage, but I don't work for the garage.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Hey Johnny, I just went out and got me a muffin. - Bob, a customer was just in here, and he was saying he had a problem with a muffler. - Oh yeah? What uh, what'd it end up being? - Well, I don't know, I didn't go out and look! - Oh?", "c": ["Bob", "Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Well, I don't expect you to know everything, but you know, if a client of yours came in here, I'd certainly talk to them. - Well, I hope you wouldn't.", "c": ["Bob", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Well, not that I have to worry, I know you're a little low on clients.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "That's because I'm building a business, Bob. And right now I'm in strategy mode, looking for opportunities, and eventually I will implement a plan.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Well, if you feel like uh, you might like to implement a muffler, be my guest.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "How do you know it's cedar? - Um, I bought a cologne once, in Japan, that's supposed to smell like the aftermath of a car crashing into a cedar tree.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Why would anyone wanna smell like that? - Hmm?", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "A family of moths seem to have mistaken my cashmere sweaters for an Atlantic City all-you-can-eat buffet.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "You're planning on building a cedar chest? - That's correct. - You are. You're gonna build it? - It's a box! So you're just nailing some planks of wood together.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "May the force be with you. - Thank you so much. Thank you, genuinely. Honestly, you're so great.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "No, just an intimate breakfast, nothing special, no big 'ladies' bruncheon' for me.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Let me guess, a bucket of shrimp in Times Square, followed by a 'Lion King' matinee!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "No, actually, we performed in Central Park. - C-Central Park? Really?", "c": ["Twyla", "Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Especially musicals. Anything 'Andy' Webber!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, you'll find me on ensemble tracks seven, nine, and thirteen of the original cast recording of Starlight... 'Starlight Express.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Or perhaps Jocelyn should speak to me.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Yes please, I'm still not quite off book.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "David measuring sweaters with his body while Mutt watches from the doorway", "c": ["David", "Mutt"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "It's a really tragic story, involving some damaged luxury cashmere. And so I am building a cedar chest for my sweaters.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Well, how far along are you? - Um, I'm this far.", "c": ["Mutt", "David"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Small minds don't reach for the stars. No more! Not on my watch. Jocelyn, I am here!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Au-Audition! Uh, though I'm sure you mean no offense, in the actual world of entertainment, I'm what's known as, 'offer only.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Who hasn't been?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Has Paul Bunion finished his box? - Who?", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Wow, this whole thing just got a lot weirder.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Will you be needing your basic toolbox, or your 'cedar chest' tool box? - Obviously the cedar chest tool box!", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Oh, that's in the shed. It's a big wooden box, with the words, 'tools to make a cedar chest' carved into the side of it, so it's really clear...", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm assuming you're kidding. Um... But in the off chance that you're not, where in the shed would I find that box? - You're kidding.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Great, you can call it an audition if you must, or an impromptu performance, or perhaps 'an evening with...'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "I'll wait, far be it for me to get in the way of you making any necessary improvements.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Well, first of all Bob, that's not the expression.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "You got some clients, that's great news! - No, I was dealing with your customers!", "c": ["Bob", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "You know, I'm playing the guy like a bow fiddle.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Well, funny you should use that expression. Because Dick Sinson is gonna be riding his bike until we can get his car back for him!", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Who's Dick Simpson? - I couldn't tell 'ya. But Dick Sinson is the fella whose car you just sold.", "c": ["Johnny", "Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Ridiculous name! - Sin-Sinson... Sinson! Dick Sin-Sinson!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I can't not jump in and help when I see someone doin' something wrong. - Was it wrong, or was it just unconventional?", "c": ["Mutt", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "If you're experiencing feelings for me, Like, I totally get it. And normally I'd be into it, I've just been down this road before, and it's-it's messy.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Well, she sort of fades into the background after a while, you know, like a smoke alarm.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Are you just saying that because you don't want her to move back here? - Yes, I am!", "c": ["Mutt", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Oh no, we were done early, we got plenty of time. - Thank you, but I think I'm fighting a little bug.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Come on, Moira! audition! Moi-ra! Moi-ra! Moi-ra! - Stop! That's cruel!", "c": ["Jazzagals", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Well, I can't say no to anyone!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "[Moira's entire bizarre singing performance with vocal runs and nonsense syllables]", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Oh, that was... different.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "Um, like, he brought all my stuff back, and I was like, this is great, but then at the same time I was just kinda like, I feel like I need my space right now.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "So... but I'm really glad that I told him, and he took it really, really well.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "That's a cute little wood thing, David. - Thank you, I made it.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Jazzagals"}, {"t": "David? / David, what is this?! / It looks like a bike. / Is it yours? / Yes. Yes, it is.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "My God, imagine what kind of ring he'd buy! Like an opal, or something. Ooh, like a pear-shaped opal. (Groans)", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Well, you said you missed spin class, so... I did! I did say that I missed spin class. And so you bought me a bike! Because I said that I missed spin class. Because you're so thoughtful and perceptive.", "c": ["Mutt", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "(Whispering) I hate you, David!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "John, do you think they did this with our things? No, not ours, no. They put our stuff right on the lawn.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Look at this poor woman's life strewn across cheap folding tables.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Well, except they'd have been saying, 'what great taste they had!'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "So was my Galapagonian tortoise-shell foot bath. And now some lonely hoarder is letting his cats poop in it.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "And you know whose name came to mind? I don't-i don't know, Rachel Zoe? Yours!", "c": ["Roland", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "You're just describing what shopping is.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "And who knows elegance better than you, pal? I mean, you're the only elegant guy I know!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "I don't know how to ride a bike. What? I said, I don't know how to ride a bike!", "c": ["Alexis", "Mutt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Poor dear, enchanted by a death bed.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Okay, these are pants that just so happen to have a pant fabric over the front and back... Okay. Yeah, it's a skirt.", "c": ["David", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Okay, these are pants that just so happen to have a pant fabric over the front and back... Okay. Yeah, it's a skirt.", "c": ["David", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Jocelyn and I like to have a little fun with that idea, if you know what I mean. She plays Meryl, and I play the nervous but ambitious intern who's new to the city.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "So you're the Anne Hathaway in that situation? I don't know who that is.", "c": ["David", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "And David, was such a little drama queen when my parents tried teaching him, that they threw all the bikes into this big bonfire up in the Hamptons, and we never talked about it again.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Yeah well, most kids also get head lice. I'm sorry if the opportunity never presented itself.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "And try getting into 'Kiss Kiss' in Tokyo without a lock of human hair.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Well, because I see a couple of 'Lost Boys.'", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Well, I'm actually in really good hands, because this man has a woman's touch. I don't... I don't know what that means.", "c": ["Roland", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Well, this is a real 'Sophie's Choice!' I hope that you and Jocelyn don't role play that at home.", "c": ["Roland", "David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Hell, we've played every Streep movie.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Skanky! I think the clothes are a bit skanky.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Which uh, I hope you can afford. You know, considering your financial situation.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "We are currently sleeping on a rectangular collection of knives and barbed wire, John.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "(Bleep!)", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "God, you're like a fancy dinner plate that you don't wanna nudge off the edge of the table.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Um listen, I don't have a lot to my name right now, but I do have one thing. Self-respect? No, taste.", "c": ["David", "Roland"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "People were saying that a girl was struggling with her bike. I kinda just assumed it was a toddler.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Get the hell outta here, you dumb broad! (Chuckles) That was another thing he used to say.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Yeah, not enough bounce for the bumps, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Oh God, that's memory foam, John! ... The Kennedys aren't Roland! The Kennedys have regular medicals, daily laundering!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Oh my God, you know that I have bad foot-eye coordination, you didn't have to wear corrective leg braces for three months.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Oh my God, you know that I have bad foot-eye coordination, you didn't have to wear corrective leg braces for three months.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Honey, I need to ask you a serious question, has it gotten worse or are you just not wearing any makeup?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Estate Sale"}, {"t": "Do you like this sweater? Jared Leto gave it to me and I've always been on the fence about it.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "I like it 'cause Jared Leto gave it to you, and he was my first kiss, but I don't know if I like, like it, like it.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "I knew this day would come, John! Isolated, impoverished, cut off from all medical services! I only prayed it wouldn't be Alexis.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Oh, it's always just a cold, John, until it's full blown... Typhoid!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Do you remember Valentina? Our chambermaid in little Martinique? We all thought she had just a cold, until it was too late! I'll never shake the mental image of her frothing and flailing in the water taxi!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "This is as far as I go, Alexis. One of us has to stay safe for David.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "While I admire your courage, uh, when it comes to fashion, I'm just not the best person to ask.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Okay, there are certain lies I tell myself, and if you're any kind of a friend, you will let me cling to those lies.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Can I help you cling to lies, and not drive you to Elmdale?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "It's like a poncho.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Bob, you're in the room.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "I'd kill for a bagel, but I haven't seen one bagel since I got to this town.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Ooh, I just get chills thinking that we're sitting right in the middle of the 'Johnny Rose Dream Factory!'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Has it gotten worse, or are you just not wearing any makeup?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Though I played one once in a lovely little production of 'Harvey,' but she worked in a mental institute.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Alexis, I'm sorry I must leave you, but... mummy's gotta fight for her solo.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "I was with Roland, we were shopping for Jocelyn. It's a long, frightening story.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "It's a long, frightening story.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Jewish? I didn't know if I could say it.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "But boy, do you all love your bagels! I mean I do too, and I'm not even uh... Jewish. You can say it, Bob.", "c": ["Bob", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "I don't know why, it feels like a swear.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Skanky! You called my store skanky when you were here with the mayor.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "We're not over the skanky thing, are we?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "I can say with complete certainty that I see literally nothing but potential.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Is the floor overcrowded? Yeah. Are the mannequins a little too busty? Absolutely. Does it smell like urinal cakes in here? Perhaps.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Bob want us to meet. Bob wants us to meet?! Yeah, may I sit? No, no.", "c": ["Ivan", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Well, that may be, but do you know how much a bagel oven costs? And Ivan here, he's willing to do it for free.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Let's turn this dream... Into green!", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "You know, in France, they say the looser the fit, the sexier the feel, so...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "I've never been to France.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "But I have my sister's communion this weekend. Okay, don't do that. Don't do what?", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "This is gonna be a smash at my husband's trial hearing.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "This is gonna be a smash at my husband's trial hearing. He's got good taste.", "c": ["Customer", "Wendy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Had I known your spirits were so high, I might not have spent the last 45 minutes of my life running around buying cold medication.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "When have you ever bought me cold medication?! Exactly, I knew it didn't feel right.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Exactly, I knew it didn't feel right.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Oh dear, are we sure this isn't just mono again? What with your symptoms, and your lifestyle?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Maternal instinct, maybe? No, that's not it. No! Maybe. No!", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "go with something a little more old testament?", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "I should probably see a business plan so I don't invest so much in another uh, hollow scheme.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "it's the same one we use to celebrate my mom's divorces.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Okay, I'll just drop a little raisin in here to release the bubbles. Blechhh! That's no necessary!", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Ooh, my first job was actually a gap kids campaign when I was six. To your first job!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Mostly because she didn't cry as much as the unmannerly son, but also because she was adventurous, carefree, so beautiful. Just like her mother.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Alexis, you're on my arm. Alexis, seriously. I can't feel it! I can't-Alexis!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Bobs Bagels"}, {"t": "Look at the state of this place, it's like we're in a Mumbai-an slum.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Well, the good news is that mattress is covering up the cracked toilet seat.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "John, do you remember what Goldie Hawn told us at that Amfar dinner? 'You are the life you accept for yourself.' Those are Goldie's words. Or something someone said to her in India. Or perhaps she read it.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I mean, would it kill someone to plant a few peonies?!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I have a feeling if you want peonies, Moira, you're gonna have to plant them yourself.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "These are dark times John, but not that dark.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I love how we can just be silent with each other.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Because now we can just express how we feel through silence.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "It's just, you're talking about how nice it is not to talk, but you're still, talking about it.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Well, that is an understatement.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I don't need to talk about everything, I'm just saying that, if I stopped talking, then who knows when we're gonna start talking again.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Fun? - Porn-y.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Where are the scarves? - Oh, I sold those, too.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Alexander Wang once fired my friend over the smell of his cologne. To Alex's credit, 'Curve Pour Hommes' hasn't been the look since '97.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "No jewelry stands. - No jewelry... - Noooo! No, David! Jewelry stands!", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "You have that striking accent. - Thank you. And I'm sure your family wanted more for you when they immigrated from... Winnipeg. - Winnipeg.", "c": ["Moira", "Ray"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I'm hoping to take my complaint to council, and I've been told you'd be the easiest one to crack.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Too kind.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Which won't really help, since I resigned. Um, and council wasn't too happy about it. I'm surprised you didn't hear, I talked about it extensively on my podcast.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Look at us, son, a couple of working stiffs back from the salt mines. - What?! - Two men, back from the mines.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "The salt mines! Back from when people mined. When miners worked in the, salt industry, they'd come home, after digging... salt. I don't know what it means!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Uh-huh, you know I just got back from a four-hour shift that mostly consisted of me sampling luxury candles so...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "There's nothing in here. - Really? - Yeah. - Oh, I must've taken the last one.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I mean, you got this job all on your own, nobody had to make a call, nobody got involved, nobody had to... pay somebody off. - What?", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Well, word to the wise, son, don't... spend all your money at once. - I thought you weren't getting involved. - No, I'm not. I'm not, I'm just saying, word to the wise, is all.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Okay, what does 'word to the wise' even mean? Word to the wise. When you're... speaking to somebody wise, you lis... you're cognizant of what they're saying. A wise person telling you... Anyway, just-just uh, keep that in mind", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Honestly, honestly, I have no money, and an empty purse from two seasons ago!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Oh my God! Your face! Yes, you can see it now! You shaved!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "You'd have said, uh, 'wow Alexis, I'm thinking about shaving my beard.' And then I would've said, 'hm, no mutt, I don't think that that's the right journey for you at this point in time.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I was a beard for a very well known actor, and I get it, it's uncomfortable.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "My beard is your favorite thing about me! - I said one of my favorite things. - No, no, no, no. You said, 'favorite thing!'", "c": ["Mutt", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Look at your little doll lips.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I've tried it twice, and both times, I've been sort of shot back into traffic.", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I was just hoping to be interrupted by a concerned citizen.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "It's like a birthday streamer. You-you-it stretches, and then, and then you pull it, and it just snaps, okay?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "That's why I came in with something funny.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I was gonna leave, but now I don't want to.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Uh yeah, it's when you buy something for your business and the government pays you back for it. - Oh, and who pays for it? - Nobody, you write it off.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Who writes it off?! - I don't know, the govern... The 'write off' people!", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "If I have acne, what does that say about the legitimacy of the store?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "There's not enough space in here for the massage chair, anyway.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "A baby born in a prison cell does not know that a toilet should not be in the same room as its bed, but we do.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I didn't know you'd been in prison.", "c": ["Council member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "That we should strive for something that sets us apart from the prison baby.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "So there was just one baby in prison, or there were more?", "c": ["Council member"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, did you just ask for cake? I'm not used to you ordering solid food.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Like maybe I need to talk less and listen more, and you need to talk more, and listen less.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I once got Winnie Mandela to RSVP to an 'Artists Against Eczema' benefit within the hour.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "You're a pain in the ass, but you get stuff done.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Yes, you try enjoying a puff pastry with everyone around you scratching.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Like, amazing! There was this time in the barn where I climbed up onto this rafter...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Like, I've been to doctors about it.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "I think I need a hug, or something. - W-you what? - I need a hug.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Did you get new bedding? - Um, yeah, I did. But it's a write off, so I don't...", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Oh, did you pick up that random condom that was on the grass there? - Ew yeah, whose was that?", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Weren't those here before? - There was literally nothing here. It was a wasteland.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Oh, there's the condom right there, David. - Ew! Eww!", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Moira Vs. Town Council"}, {"t": "Never assume, dear, It makes an ass out of both of us.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "I'd sooner poke my eyes out with hat pins.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "What's the word I'm trying to think of? / Well, let's hope we don't find it, okay?", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Are we ready to order, councilor?", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "It's just temporary storage, David. / Look at your things. Look at your life!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Look at your things. Look at your life!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "I wasn't drinking water. / Okay, so maybe it was mine, what difference does it make?", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "She could be a serial killer.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "That she serves you... at the cafe. / Because we're friends.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Stop doing that with your face!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "I could say something pretty inappropriate right now. / Well, I'm hoping you don't. / No, but I could, that's a real set up.", "c": ["Bob", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "If I didn't know any better, I might think you had a crush on me! / Well, that's... That's funny.", "c": ["Johnny", "Bob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Okay, gotta go, Bob.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Since you did tell me to break up with him, and then you dated him...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "if you can't be by yourself, then you probably shouldn't be in a relationship.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Twy? Call me if you get off work early!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "I just had to reschedule my colonoscopy.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "It takes a brave man to face defeat yet again, when his ego is so battered and bruised.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Well, that's good to hear, so you're used to coming in second, huh?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Well, everyone knows everyone here, because there's only one restaurant.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Well, your son is 30, and you never see him.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "You signed under 'Date.' / Yeah, like that's going to make a difference.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "she is going to a bar to have her needs met by some lovely gentleman she's yet to meet, who is cute enough to sleep with, but not nearly mature or stable enough to marry.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "'Cause everyone will think we're together. / Okay, I think you're giving yourself a lot of credit. / I was being generous.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "I heard that one, it's only because you converse with women easily, and you dress so well.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "If this continues, I'll have to call a neurologist.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Trying to council to focus on the simplest thing is like... wrangling monkeys!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "No, I'm just taking some 'me time.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Like, I know you dated David, but everyone's allowed a mistake, am I right?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "You sound like my conscience.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "I would rather be here by myself than engage in meaningless conversation with people I don't care about.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "I'm currently running unopposed. So that kinda takes away the excitement of winning, you know, but still, I think it's gonna be a real hoot.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "just because you've spent all your time trying to sell the town and get outta here, so.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "If Jocelyn can do it, anyone can.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Um, like, easy six.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "I'm the one who should be at a sketchy bar meeting randoms. I'm the one who should go missing!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "you can snap the duct tape by just raising your hands over your head, and then bringing them down really hard.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "So the two of them on council together? / Is there a more frightening thought?", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "They would have a virtual monopoly on this town. / Well, don't they already?", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Jocelyn practically begged me to take the bait!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "I thought it would be me, but then you talked me out of it! But that's okay!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "It's like everybody saw you coming, and left.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Well, if you start walking now, you'll get there before breakfast.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Well, if you start walking now, you'll get there before breakfast.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "we are the only people here under sixty.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "I notice that man is no longer sleeping under the pool table.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "Do you wanna break? / Um, from what?", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "It's like a drive-thru, except everybody has a gun.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Candidate"}, {"t": "They call this a candidates' breakfast?!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Well, it can't be, Moira, there's a woman in cargo shorts.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Oh, bless you, dear, but a name tag does not go with this ensemble.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Not that people won't know, when they see you in that outfit. It's very shiny.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Well, I'm glad you talked me out of the Mohawk.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "I was always impressed by those masquerade key parties at the Sarkosy's.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "And Elvis! I'm so glad you could make it.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Well, because you look like Elvis in that... outfit there, you know, and... but the early Elvis, not the...", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Hah! You are a hit!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "straight from the cow's breast, to your mouth", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "maybe you're used to being on the wrong side of the law, but I for one am not going to prison.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Gwen has already told me she won't wait for me", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Right, okay Bob, I'll keep it on the down low.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "I am approachable...", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "That sounds more like a fact that you're sharing with me.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Stevie! Stevie! You're an average Joe... Anne.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "You sound a bit like a dictator.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "As a strong willed modern woman, with a high school degree, you know how hard we have to work to be taken seriously!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "As a strong willed modern woman, with a high school degree, you know how hard we have to work to be taken seriously!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "I actually went to college, but sure.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "The queen hasn't smiled since the 70's, and her birthdays are still very well attended.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Like, really good, like, super... sun kissed, and muscle-y.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "'Cause they actually gave me the 'Broken Hearts Special.' Three extra nights at no extra charge, as long as I could prove that I didn't actually make it down the aisle.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Yeah! Yeah, no, I got almost full price back for the engagement ring, and I've always wanted one of these, and it cost less than the ring, so...", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "It's like if the 'Sons of Anarchy' had a vet.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Except they don't wear helmets on that show, Which I get, but, it's a little dangerous.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Granted, I bought it from a man who I later found out was a drifter.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "It might've been elk's milk. Is elk's milk a thing? I don't know.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "You would make a terrible drug dealer, Mr. Rose.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "I mean, I get it, it's fast money, and no one would ever suspect you.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "I had a friend in Venice Beach who sold raw milk, and his entire compound was raided.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "your trail of discarded boyfriends, Alexis, is making it very difficult to get anything done in this world.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "For what? I didn't do anything.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "The twelve 'things' of milk?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "'Cause I was wondering why would Dad order $300.00 worth of milk?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Um... okay well, $394.40, so I guess kind of closer to $400.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "I try and do something nice for somebody, You think I would at least deserve a 'thank you!'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Just remember, if things go south, there's a loaded BB gun in the back.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "You're acting like I've never done this before!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "I remember I just got my braces off, so...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "What do you think her name was? - I don't know. - Gayle! The man marries three Gayles!", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Like didn't learn anything from the first two! I mean, what is that?!", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "It takes a real eye to find something of quality at a clothier in Elmdale.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "that's uh, Jennifer. And then he's um... Jacob. And then I'm also Jacob.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm just joking. We don't have drivers' licences. Um... No, yeah, we do have driver's licenses, we don't have those names on our driver's license.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Actually, my birth name is Angelica.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "You farm in that suit?", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "When the weather's good.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "You farm in that suit?", "c": ["Woman Officer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, I thought you were talking to the other Jacob.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "No, she looked like an ageing stewardess from a Latvian airline!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, I think you'll find one lodged in the middle of my back.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Oh my God, she didn't know which way was up when I was done with her!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Someone has to find naked pictures of me. Better you than a stranger in a storm cellar.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Someone has to find naked pictures of me. Better you than a stranger in a storm cellar.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Milk Money"}, {"t": "Well, how's that for timing! We both stepped out exactly together.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Oh my God, is that David?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Do you think I'd allow someone to buy that car for me?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Um, very unclear on the 'we' part of that sentence.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "There's a button missing on your jacket. What? Oh ew, you poor thing.", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "We have a limit as to how much you can charge without actually making any effort to pay.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "I have dated enough Wall Street losers to know that 'making things liquid' is not a good thing!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "I just had to use my unemployment check this month to pay for all the raw milk that 'we' ordered.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "No, I can't type, and I don't care to relive my days as a secretary.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "The top eleven photographs of Moira Rose with future murder suspects.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "That was the one time he let me play with his hair. It was a sunny aft... you know, I shouldn't have to explain myself.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "I mean, I've always had clean, radiant skin, but I'm an anomaly.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "I don't even wear good socks in here!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "See David, this is what happens when you wash your face with a bar of motel hand soap!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "If someone has to find naked pictures of me, better you than a stranger in a storm cellar!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Um, are you sure you're not thinking of mine?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Three words I thought I'd only have to type if I was held at gunpoint.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "I'd argue that moment happens daily.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Okay, try 'effervescence.' No, I'm sorry, 'small umbrella.' No wait, 'Siamese eels.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Can no one find nude photos of me on the Internet?!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "My Uncle Ken only has three fingers now, which is too bad, because he's deaf, and he only speaks using sign language, but... He made his choices.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "No, no, don't worry, because then I would have to pay you back, which is gonna be hard because my entire family is broke, and we can't afford to eat right now, so.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "That would be uncomfortable accepting free money. No, no, you'd be working. Doing her job, and I would pay you for it. Oh!", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "That's the situation you never thought you'd be in?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Like when you were taking your harpsichord lessons, and I would drive you. I was seven.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Well, believe it or not, this is actually not the most awkward parent/son request I've gotten today, so...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Well, I was trying to give you a hug. I-I get the gesture. I should've undone the seatbelt.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Well, you've seen me text.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "I'm loving this Q and A, but I think what's important right now, is my positive attitude. And I don't wanna brag, but 'Us Weekly' once described me as 'up for anything.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Yes, it's my character from 'Sunrise Bay,' but it's been put on the body of what I can only assume is an Indonesian lady boy.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "That's your face. Yes, it's my character from 'Sunrise Bay,' but it's been put on the body of what I can only assume is an Indonesian lady boy.", "c": ["Stevie", "Moira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "I thought maybe you just had a tan.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "I am suddenly overwhelmed with regret. It's a new feeling for me, and I don't find it at all pleasurable.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "And I should've appreciated those firm round mammae, and Callipygian ass, while I had them.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think, 'oh, I'm too spooky.' Or, 'nobody wants to see these tiny boobies.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Otherwise, your own children will go looking for them one day and tragically, they won't be there.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "It's actually just 'pin,' you don't have to say, 'pin number,' that's redundant.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Okay, can you just take a... take a big step! Thank you so much!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "He keeps saying pin number.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Oh, which teller? Because it's only me and Carol here.", "c": ["Bank Teller"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "So if you could help me help him, that would be a wonderful thing.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "So if you could help me help him, that would be a wonderful thing.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Sir, you just said your pin out loud. So I suggest you pick another one.", "c": ["Bank Teller"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Ted also proposed to you twice, so I'd say Ted's decision making skills are a little suspect.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "He asked me several questions, most of which I answered.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "My button! Things are looking up!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "My deepest condolences? I know things have been tough lately, but I'm here for you, and hope this helps. Love, Alexis.", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Was there supposed to be something in here? In where? In the card. What do you mean? Oh, it's just the card.", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "David, Dad's poor right now! He's not poor anymore! Because someone gave him more than a cheap card!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "They say it's through our children that we stay young. But I haven't seen much effort on their part.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "Now how do I get this on the Internet? John!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Moiras Nudes"}, {"t": "I'm just joking, I can see they're on.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "No, we actually listened outside to make sure.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "A lot of pressing of the flesh, and greasing palms, that kind of thing, you know. It wasn't as much fun as it sounds.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Oh well, who wants an invitation to big soiree when you can be met the very next morning with some table scraps.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Um, I think it means you have to wear scrubs.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Those two are not as simple minded as we thought. He is.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Whatever happened to empowering women's sexuality?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Obviously you've never been out for Halloween, David.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn't what I would call having a job.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Even the one that poisoned all those people?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us that it was lead-free.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "You look like a stick of gum.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "She's an IT manager, Gerald. She makes more money than both of us combined.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "four more taxidermy peacocks coming this afternoon", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I wasn't sure what the etiquette was for this kind of thing, so I walked around the block a little bit.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Oh. I thought this was kind of an either/or thing.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Those bare legs are dangerous. Ted! No, I'm serious. The animals carry bugs or ticks that can burrow into your bare skin.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "You won't even miss your last secretary once I get finished with these puppies.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "New khakis I see.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I was. - Good. Lots of dairy.", "c": ["Ronnie", "Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "If anyone knows how to put a lactose intolerant in the hospital, it's our Jocelyn.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Political weight. I now realize 'clout' was the word I was looking for.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "It's a date. No. No, it's not. I wouldn't call it that.", "c": ["Moira", "Ronnie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Like I once dated this Sultan's nephew who was forbidden to talk to me or even to look at me and we made it work for like half a regime change, so...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I have been swamped. Doris's cat is like totally high maintenance.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, Doris has been worried about her cat for two years. She comes in every week.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I need someone to take care of my stepdaughter. I need you to take care of my stepdaughter.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I don't think that's a very good idea. I'm gonna drop her off at four.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I brought you some trail mix, but I spilled it in my purse.", "c": ["Doris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Ew! I'm just trying to figure out what happened, all right?", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Sounds like something you'd find at a serial killer's house.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "You're joking. But you hate kids. Oh my God. Can I watch? Or video tape? Can I bring friends?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "If you happen to find any Xanax lying around anywhere, can you just... let me know about that?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's dead. But! But the good news is, you're not.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "But you're free, Doris, and, in a way, so is Mittens.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I think you just approach these women like you did Paula, our landscaper. Very strong, very forceful.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Um, yeah, you can always tell because their upper lip sort of... I mean, like, puffs a bit.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Something happened. Nothing. Just d-don't look on the bed.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Needless to say, that was the last time I played charades with Fran Leibovitz.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "No, I was just talking someone over there who has a husband. A male husband.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I knew I should've left him home with the sitter.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Moira, I have a feeling not every woman here is a lesbian.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Entrepreneurs. Everyone here is a member of the Women's Business Association.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "how many two-week vacations are available per year?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Nothing is more natural... aside from maybe the... thread count in these sheets", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "You did not choose this life! No, each one of you was born to be an entrepreneur.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I had a six-and-a-half season career as an actress in television, which I put on hold to devote all my time and energy to raise two million dollars for charity. And two children.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "you, Tara, you're very concerned about your inverted nipples. Which I assumed was public domain; there were a lot of you around when she told me.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Black? No. I mean that everyone was leaning... Younger?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I had my first job at the age of ten, sweeping up hair in a beauty salon.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "I am very comfortable seeing women with other women. - Uh-huh. - Yeah, that didn't come out right.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "that I am very comfortable seeing women with other women.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Oh, the dip was incredible, really, for men and women.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Ronnies Party"}, {"t": "Oh, there's a woman in here Who couldn't afford a Persian rug, so she painted one on her tiled floor. The magazine is celebrating her ingenuity! Well, it sounds like a creative solution. A creative solution would be a lobotomy to make one forget they like nice things.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "As if you think that's what I listen to!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "The entire Rose family chaos with banging, yelling, and confusion over loud music", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis", "David", "Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Moira's excessive sighing sequence", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "No, they look like they usually look, Moira. So now my eyes are usually puffy!", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "These bags are like gypsy caravans, packed to the brim!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Roland! What are you doing here? Well, we're, uh, doing some renos on the uh, house, so we're gonna shack up here until they're all done.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Now, whatever you and the missus do after hours, that's your business, not mine. On the walls Roland, with our fists! And if you're into that kind of stuff, that doesn't bother me at all.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "You said 'renovations.' Yes... renovations, because our basement flooded!", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "I mean living in a space this limited, is trying enough on a marriage without having Roland wallowing next door. This is going to bring us to a breaking point!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "All right, John. I... I drink a little too much tea sometimes. And that's it for you? You uh... You drink tea?", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "That would only be after you've taken that condescending father tone with me. Father tone? There it is.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "But only when you act like a big child! I act like a child? Yes John, and now is not the time for you to throw one of your tantrums!", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "That's another thing Mr. Rose, you never finish your fights. Oh, this one's finished!", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Stevie, you look like you would know about affordable housing.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "I wouldn't really describe any apartment as cute in this town.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "There's a collection of undershirts hang drying outside of my room. Is there any way they could be removed, or is there like, a Texas Chainsaw movie being filmed out there that I'm not aware of?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "I am thinking about getting a place. I have some money coming in, and it's just... It's not really a cute look to be this age, and live at home. No offense, David.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "M'kay well, you're a full grown man, who's much older than me, living at home. So it's just a little bit embarrassing.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Because David, as an attractive, single female, I don't feel comfortable going to look at an apartment by myself!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Mmmm... that person doesn't exist in this town.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Sad sack-y today. Sad sack-y?", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "That's where we had our honeymoon. Had a lot of great times in that room.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "It was actually the first song that we ever made... Okay, I really don't need the details on that.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Well, it's kinda obvious that you and Moira are a little bit rocky right now.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "This is so cute for me. This is cute, right? I think this is super cute. Wait, is it cute? 'Cause I know that it's light, and spacious, and... airy in here, but I just wasn't sure if it was cute. Oh, it's cute.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Yes, but we can rip those out.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Yes, we found an incinerated squirrel carcass there last week.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Wait, $275 a month for this? That's cheaper than my P.O. Box in New York.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "it actually kind of reminds me of your old um... office space that you had in the West Village.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "No. I was gonna say sensitive. Oh, sensitive. Especially when I wanna do something on my own. Ohhh! Do you really think he's obnoxious and irritating?", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "You are so right! You know, I thought that I might be ready to forgive him, but I think he needs a couple more nights at that motel.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "But, on the other hand... maybe it's through your forgiveness that you teach him a lesson. Right, and... and the sooner you forgive him, then... then the better it's gonna be for... for you.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Close the door honey, will you? You're lettin' my flies out.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, are you complaining about the quality of the free lodging that I arranged for you this past year?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "(Imitating Moira) Hello, everyone! I'm Moira Rose, and I know famous people, so I really can't talk to the common folk. Excuse me all, coming through!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "The apartment was soundproofed by the previous owner. But the irony is the people next door are completely deaf, so you could literally scream for hours, and no one would hear you. Did you hear that? You could scream for hours, and no one would hear you.", "c": ["Ray", "David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Yes, someone did take their own life in this space, but the good news is, we've replaced the ceiling fan, it's now a break-away model.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "You are an emotionally stunted, self absorbed man-child. You lord this counterfeit power of yours over others like a schoolyard bully!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "You're just a stuck up pencil skirt with clown makeup, and a janitor's mop on your head!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Your marriage is as blighted as this town, and you have no one to blame but yourself! Whoa... Well, hold on. I went too far.", "c": ["Moira", "Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "You know, sometimes at night, I see things. Oh my God, David! Like... dark things. Like sometimes there's this old woman that paces back and forth by your bed, waving her hands over your face. I don't think her bony fingers ever touch your mouth, though.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "Do you ever wake up with chapped lips? Dad! Dad's dead. Ohh, you're such a dick, David!", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Motel Guest"}, {"t": "My campaign has been hijacked.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Maybe people were mowing their lawns.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Oh, like the wind.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Oh, this woman may not have many signs, but she has myriad qualities worth voting for. I must stop her!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Stolen? Ew!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Someone is imitated enough into thinking that I might be affecting this town's long-established voting patterns.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Yeah, I was worried Jocelyn didn't have enough signs up.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Well, I would like my little lady to win this campaign.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Oh. Moira had lawn signs?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Well, if I find out that you're accusing me of doing something I didn't do, then I'm going to accuse you of making false accusations.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Fine. But if you're denying doing something you might have done and making me feel guilty... For accusing you of something you claim you didn't do...", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Maybe.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "You were my mistake, which I take full credit for.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "But that's not gonna help me when I am down to a Costco card and a zoo membership.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "That there's another store called Blouse Barn? No.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Apparently, I have been using the name without their permission.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "And to think I almost called this place 'Blouse House.'", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Lotta drunks.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "If there's one thing I've learned from 'The Good Wife', it's never accept a first offer.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Yes, your cologne is too strong.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "That was a fun shakedown.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Well, first of all, I'd never get into the clothing business 'cause the margins are terrible...", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "I would take that in a second. It's a terrible name.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Technically, I would say I'm in a transition phase at the moment.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Well, thank you so much for this. Um, it was entirely unhelpful, but thank you nevertheless.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "That's kind of like my aunt. She has a ghost in her house that keeps leaving dimes everywhere.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Oh no, I'd put one on my lawn if I wasn't worried about winning.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Were you picked up by the South Korean Secret Police on New Year's?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Did you or did you not have a subscription to Cosmo Girl when you were 16 years old, David?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "No. Okay, David, if you have to lie about something you should breathe out while you answer 'cause it really just calms you down.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna wear my own clothes into the room, David. They're not scary enough.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "If Prince Harry trusted me with his life, then I think you can too.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Oh my God, you're so cute. Um, I'm not a lawyer, but I'm glad that my fashion pony is working.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Angelica Bloomfield of Rose, Bloomfield and Glickman.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "She accidentally, uh, threw them out.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Or... someone stole them and hid them in our garbage to try and sabotage Moira... to make it look like she's done something... really crazy.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Objection sustained.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Which is very similar to the meals and not necessarily relevant, so...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Politics 101, John. When you have limited resources, your best course of action is to create a stir.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "It's like that episode of Sunrise Bay when I stole my own baby.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Moira, Sunrise Bay was a soap opera. Yes, and this is reality.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "You shouldn't make accusations you can't substantiate.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Well, the point is, judging by your bag and those shoes, Blouse Barn Australia is paying you quite a bit of money", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "And let's be honest, 'Blouse House' doesn't have quite the same ring to it.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "And let's be honest, 'Blouse House' doesn't have quite the same ring to it.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "We're in our store.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Roland got carried away and used his mayoral power to get people to put more signs on their lawns.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "The other day, I called another driver an effing moron. I didn't say the 'f' word, but I said, 'effing,'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "I can't get through an episode of 'Masterchef Junior' without crying.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "I can't get through an episode of 'Masterchef Junior' without crying.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Moira. You are the new councilor for the town of Schitt's Creek.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Um, you don't mean one of those big lottery checks, right?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Four years? No, no one said anything about four years.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Shouldn't we be s-s-s... Should we be... Trying to sa... save this?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "Just 'cause I do my own nails doesn't mean, you know, I wouldn't go...", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Lawn Signs"}, {"t": "What would you like us to say? / Well, you could start by saying, 'Happy anniversary.'", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Isn't that something that you two are supposed to say to each other?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "If we're truth telling, the Bloomfields were always a little too friendly with one another.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "I just don't understand what kind of family skinny dips together.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Congratulations on your ongoing love for one another. You did it!", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "You sound like the incestuous Bloomfields.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "You wanna guess what your present is? / No, I do not. / Dinner!", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "That sounds too good to... what's the catch?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Yeah, we have a coupon. Four entrees for the price of three.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Boy, that was a close call.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Stevie Budd was voted: 'Most likely to get the guy.' With that hair cut?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "And girls, it seems.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "What series? / Dateline. / I played a boy who got abducted from a grocery store.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "People thought I actually was the 'Value-mart victim.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Hmm, bet that got you laid. / It did. It really did.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Are you telepathic or something, because I have been thinking about asking you that question every day this week.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "I was just kidding. / Oh... no yeah, me too.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Mutt's having a soiree? / Well, I'm sure you're invited. / Yeah, no. Yeah, no, why wouldn't I be?", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "I really would have to basically throw all my self-respect just right out the window. / Aww, that's so sweet.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Something more grand? / Ah, knowing your penchant for surprises, I'm guessing you have something else up your sleeve.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Sort of a 'Lady and the Tramp' meets '9 1/2 Weeks' kind of dinner date?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "You always could swing a good table at the last minute, John.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Oh my God, the Roses! You're alive!", "c": ["Bev"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "I wouldn't do that if I were you... Mutt made those ice cubes from well water, so... they smell a little fishy.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Oh, I wouldn't either, but I couldn't find a cocktail shaker, and someone brought room temperature vodka.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "It's nice to meet you, handsome.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "No, I've just never seen you this dressed up before. / I do what I want.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Having swam in both ponds, I can say that I might be able to navigate those waters a little bit better than you.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "She's moved it to the front hall! / What?! / Grier wanted to hang her coat on the horns!", "c": ["Don", "Moira", "Bev"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Don and Borden are on their hands and knees, crawling through the doggie door in the kitchen!", "c": ["Bev"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Because before you were saying that you didn't wanna go out tonight, so... / No, no, we-we uh... / You can certainly join us, if you don't have your own table.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "The way he describes you, it's like you're this... Beautiful little poem.", "c": ["Tennessee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Well, love 'little!'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Like, a really pretty poem, or like, a mermaid, or something.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "It was so nice to finally meet you, Tallahassee, so... / It's ah, Tennessee. / Yes, Tennessee. I love that name, it's so unique. Um, thank God you look the way you do, because that name on the wrong girl would just... Ooh!", "c": ["Alexis", "Tennessee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Oh, we're in a rustic, ranch style... Bungalow... that... It's very nice.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Very nice, it's got plenty of parking, and a TV in every room. / Oh, how many bedrooms? / Ten. Ten bedrooms!", "c": ["Johnny", "Bev", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "That must be a nightmare to clean! / Um, Stevie does an adequate job. / Stevie's one of your staff? / Stevie's the only staff.", "c": ["Bev", "Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "On our way here, we drove through a town... Not a word of a lie, called... 'Schittstown!' / Oh! No, it was called, 'Schittsville!' / And from the looks of it, the town was living up to its name!", "c": ["Don", "Bev"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "What do you even call someone from Schittsville? A Schitter? A Schitthead?", "c": ["Don"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "And from the looks of it, the town was living up to its name!", "c": ["Don"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Cool? Alexis... I couldn't stop crying. I was scaring all the animals at work.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "When I had to go on our honeymoon without you, the zip line instructor at the Los Passions Couples Resort told me that I just gotta get through it.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Mmm! Hmm, I thought I was shame eating in private.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "What is shame eating? / I don't think we have enough time for that tonight.", "c": ["Jake", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Who do you have to kill around here to get another bottle of this undrinkable wine? / I think it's good. / I ordered the one with the highest alcohol content.", "c": ["Don", "Bev", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Who do you have to kill around here to get another bottle of this undrinkable wine? I think it's good. I ordered the one with the highest alcohol content.", "c": ["Don", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "The joke is I'm sitting here in a half decent restaurant with my wife... and our friends... And all you two have done is complain about the food, and pretend that you didn't leave us high and dry after we lost everything.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Roland and Jocelyn here, could not have been more generous with what little they have. They found us a place to live, they've offered us their truck whenever we've needed it. They've invited us to their parties, they even offered to take us out to dinner tonight.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Well, just to be clear, Johnny, we were always gonna split the bill, it's just with the coupon...", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "And that town you passed through, it's not called Schittsville. It's called Schitt's Creek. And it's where we live.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Christie McFadden accidentally nailed her hand to her paper towel holder, so that's-the lesson is just not to nail stuff...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "I'm a pretty open-minded guy. So... why don't you stop by the shop sometime?", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Some townies were trying to get us high, and we didn't want to offend them, because they're doing so well in life.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Because we just necked out behind the barn. / Seriously, what makes you think that? / Because we put our mouths together, out behind the barn.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Just so you know, I kissed him too. / Well, that didn't happen. / Who's to say?", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Did he invite you to his wood shop? / Sorry, that came out wrong.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Okay, this is not okay! What are you guys doing here?! / Shhh, Alexis! For once in your life Shhhh!", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "I don't care what snarky remarks you kids are gonna make under your breath, tonight we are dancing as a family.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "Do you know your father and I hold great affection for the two of you? It may not always be obvious, but... Just say it, Moira! We love you both very much.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Happy Anniversary"}, {"t": "I haven't bedazzled anything since I was 22.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "David, you were dressed like a harlequin, and you were gluing shiny jewels...", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "perhaps that was just a night terror.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Oh, of course you are.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "I see uh, David's made you feel right at home.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "In an 'afternoon delight.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Is that term still a going thing? - No, that's no. - No, never say that again. - Don't do that.", "c": ["Moira", "David", "Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "If you take half as much care of our son as you do your physique, David should be in very good hands.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "You're like a predator!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Your next big opportunity, that's who.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "you'll know the software is working if you don't see any changes.", "c": ["Cal"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "He didn't even look at my computer! That's how good he is.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "there's uh... a cardboard box over there, you know, if you do feel like you wanna... you know, pack up your things.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Uh, first of all, who says they're sloppy, and second, who's to say we're not getting his sloppy thirds?!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Who knows how many people he's got on the go at this point?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Okay, well all I know is that someone is sloppy... and it's not me!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Well, hello, everyone! What time is curtain?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "If we look to have given up on ourselves, how can we assure our constituents that we haven't given up on them as well?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "let the road take us where it wants. No plans, no phones, no schedules. Basically my worst nightmare.", "c": ["Mutt", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "or the father who got stuck in a mine!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "That extra half hour could be the difference between a child who gets picked up safely, and one who wanders the street, waiting for a dust-covered man to emerge from the darkness!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Homeless toddlers?! Tugging at your pant legs?!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "This isn't 'Sunrise Bay,' where everybody lives in a perfect dream world!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Ohhh, okay, why don't I just tiptoe into my orchard of money trees, and fill my basket with money for you!", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "And while we're at it, why don't I gather up some diamond carrots, and some golden potatoes! And I don't mean the kind of potatoes you eat, I mean, the... potatoes that are made out of actual gold.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "well then, just call me Johnnymichael.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Screamnastic inner/outer beauty connectivity.", "c": ["Amygrace"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Oh, we don't call them that.", "c": ["Amygrace"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "I think I'm getting a little high... from the fumes.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "One of my fondest memories from childhood were weekdays, between 5:30 and 6 P.M. That was our time!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "You literally could not have said that any faster.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "We're picking pinecones. I got this old compass at a flea market; we're just gonna drive until we see the pine trees. I'm pretty sure the compass is broken, though.", "c": ["Tennessee", "Mutt"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Which you must really be... 'pining' for by now!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Stay away from the Cafe, the olives are bad.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Oh John, you smell like my mother!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Not at this exact moment perhaps, you have an olive stain on your tie.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Um yeah, I would love to order something else, but I'm just having trouble... seeing the menu. Yeah, so um... if we could somehow make it brighter in here?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "and I'll have a bowl of room temperature hollandaise sauce, please.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "A toast!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Well I, for one think we should celebrate your resilience! A toast!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Opening Night"}, {"t": "Oh, I didn't recognize him clothed.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "David, is he here to s...", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Oh my God, I literally told him to never come back here while you people were home.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "I just thought after last week, we decided to avoid the motel. Like, generally speaking.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "David, what should we do? Should we be walking ahead, how far ahead should we be walking?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna walk, 'cause I don't even care what's going on right now. Keep walking, okay?! Walk, walk, walk!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "I'm tasting metal, for some reason.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Well, I don't think Jake is here to see David. We can hear you. Very clearly.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Don't worry, David, I've been in this situation like, the most times, except I'm always the girl getting into the truck.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "The least they could do is offer us a ride!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Yes, Twyla, I think I'll have the eggs, and brown toast, over easy, The eggs, not the toast.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Well, I went whitewater rafting, Oh no, well, that'll do it, I mean... Anyway, it's fine now. Yesterday it was this stabbing pain, but today it's more like a really intense throbbing.", "c": ["Twyla", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.44, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Uh, who picked through my cake, and only left the icing? Who eats the icing?! What kind of barnyard were you raised in, where you just eat someone else's food?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "So you can share a boyfriend, but you can't share a piece of cake?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "I'm not sharing a boyfriend, Stevie and I are both dating Jake, at the same time, like sexually evolved human beings.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "We're not a 'throuple!'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "When it comes to three people, David, there's always a favorite. It's just like how Mom likes you more.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "That's not true, and please don't include Mom in an analogy about my relationship, thank you!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "David, lunch today? - No. - Oh, okay. Well, I'll dine alone. See?! See what?", "c": ["Moira", "David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Alexis, I would be absolutely glee-ridden if you would have lunch with me.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Don't wanna set a bad example for the rest of the motel staff. I thought you were the only one that worked there. Yeah, that's another good reason to go.", "c": ["Stevie", "Jake"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's just very fragile. - He's like a snowflake.", "c": ["Stevie", "Jake"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Maybe I can get the kitchen to whip up a fresh batch of eggs for us volunteers.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "No, I hear your concern, it's just apparently what geese do. No, it's not the town's problem, You're just going to have to watch where you step.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Well, just because my daughter and I don't do that sort of thing doesn't mean it's impossible!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "If you're still there when we arrive, might we... perhaps push our tables together? Yeah, perhaps.", "c": ["Moira", "Ronnie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "I took one tiny break to watch two episodes of 'Scandal' with Mrs. McCreary, while she waited for her dog!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "I try to have lunch with my mom at least once a week. And sometimes lunch will turn into dinner, because we get carried away chatting", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "You'll get your dressing on the salad, like everyone else.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm starting to feel like I'm trapped in an Avril Lavigne lyric here. And while I not-so-secretly love Avril, and have paid very close attention to her battle with Lyme disease...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "And while I not-so-secretly love Avril, and have paid very close attention to her battle with Lyme disease, um, I don't know why we're...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "I'm trying to warn you... That you are going to be ending things with him. And I appreciate that, but message has been delivered. Loud and clear.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Yeah, no, I was just um... I was just doing squats, actually. Ugh!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "No, well, a heavy salad might as well be a casserole.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "'What's your favorite color?' - Black. - That's one of the questions!", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "That was a wine tasting tour, and I was seven years old! You could've used the spittoon, That's what the other children did.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "I don't remember throngs.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "What is your favorite season? Awards.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Or will you be taking turns?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Let's all be... with us. All of us. Together.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "I think we all need to be in this together. Now, you've been with each other, and you've both been with me. Let's all be... with us.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "No I wasn't. Uh, you showed up for the date. No I didn't. You're literally here in the restaurant!", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "But if it makes you feel any better, nobody hates me more than me. Generally speaking.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Joking when you're way too busy, trying to tell you how they want their food cooked. I've experienced a bit of that myself.", "c": ["Johnny", "Twyla"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "Well, that doesn't even begin to cover it!", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Throuple"}, {"t": "What are these sad print-outs?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Are the police auctioning off crime scene vehicles?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "I really don't see myself driving any of these. / I would rather drive a scooter. And we all know how I feel about scooters, those... stupid helmets.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Does this site have boats?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Is that a spreadsheet? / Yes, yes, it is.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "We don't even have the car yet! / Okay, we're just trying to work within your schedule.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "But, sometimes your choices are less suited to a family's needs, and more suited to a pony-tailed Lothario, cruising down the Monte Carlo coast. Or like um, Vin Diesel.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Not that we can afford a car that says a lot about us", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "You bought me this dress, David. / I know! And it cost twice as much as the car you wanna buy.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Yeah, says the moving target in the Bespoke suit.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "to mimic the trappings of a workaday woman. / And if you'll notice, David, no cufflinks. / Wow! I am blinded by the disenfranchisement.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Hey, sorry I'm late, there was very heavy foot traffic on the way over.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Who is this cool cat, and what did he do with Ted?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Did you get in a bar fight?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "You owe someone money. / Alexis, I pay off my credit card bills two weeks in advance, what do you think?", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "I know that they are for the animals, but I find that when I get tired, just one or two kind of help me focus.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "did someone die, or are we going through like, a mid-life Goth phase?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Someone died. / Okay, I'm just finding the bulbs to make my skin look very jaundice-y.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Okay, and now I can't tell whether you're playing into the joke, or whether um... you're telling the truth. / She was 78.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Why, you didn't kill her.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "I mean, she was a mess, but I liked her. That's probably why I liked her.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "I'd like you to finish that sentence.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "I don't think you could handle it. This whole thing is super depressing.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry, we don't want any. / I'm just joking. Come on in! / No, I'm not!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "and Fridays, it's strip crib. / Well, thank God it's not Friday. / Well, we can pretend.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "But you don't have any money. / Oh, I know I don't have any money, but I need to look like I don't have money.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Here's what I'm hearing you say, what you're saying is you wanna dress like me, because I look like I don't have any money!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "What do you want, uh PVC, or a Hawaiian shirt?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Now unfortunately, we haven't quite found your Aunt Maureen's ashes, but, we know they're here somewhere.", "c": ["Funeral Director"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "The problem is they all come in from the crematorium on the same day, and sometimes, they're not labeled.", "c": ["Funeral Director"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "That side of my family has a bit of a reputation for conflict. / And philandering. / And fraud. / And gun-play.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Found them. They were on top of the microwave.", "c": ["Funeral Director"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Can you get us some whitener for the coffees? / Oh... what have I been using?", "c": ["Funeral Director", "David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Well, if I squint, I feel like I'm seeing your rough and rugged country cousin.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "I apprenticed costume design under Stan LaCoulier.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Well, I don't remember the 'Everything Be Irie' bumper sticker.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Yes, especially with this being our first ever purchase of an automobile. / Yes, it's our first car, let's hope we can afford it.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Yes, my poor 'usband, lost his job recently as a tennis pro, yes, at a public resort, that is, yeah.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "It'll be nice to get off the streets, and be indoors for a change, yeah?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "We've-we've struggled with penury for quite some time now, well, just two years ago, we were practically 'omeless.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "I was one of two identical twins. Tragically, I was snatched from my crib at birth by Russian mobsters.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Well, if you're identical, I thought you'd both be valuable. / Yes, wouldn't you? She wasn't born yet. / 'Til three minutes later, and the Bratva work very quickly.", "c": ["Salesman", "Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "'Til three minutes later, and the Bratva work very quickly.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "No one's gonna know that you're having an adventurous little rendezvous with an apple-cheeked farm-woman!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "I was making a house call to Lisa's farm, and got head-butted by her goat.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Is that when one of you is on the floor, and then the other one kind of just like hops...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Um, so what are... where-how... Where should we do... Well, I don't want people parking on her!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "So I just need to take up palm reading, get a few cats, move to Saskatchewan. Well, a girl could dream.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "And if they're not, I'll be sure to scatter your ashes in a much nicer parking lot.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "My wife was addicted to your show! / Well, I find it's wonderful, but we don't have a television, so.", "c": ["Salesman's wife", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Or perhaps we might have to take our business to a dealership that sells brand new cars. / As you can see, we can't even afford her meds right now.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Heather Warner doesn't actually have a cat.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "She like, thinks she has a cat? That's so sad. But I guess she is like 50, so that makes sense. / Yep, she's 42. And she's not crazy. It's... code.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "A booty call?! / Well, I'm not crazy about the term, but...", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Ted, look at you, Little Sexy Susan!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "So we're drinking to me not becoming an alcoholic? / Mhmm. / Off to a good start.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "That is the deed to the motel. / Sorry? / Maureen Budd owned the motel.", "c": ["Lawyer", "Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Was she of sound mind?!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "You look like a contestant on 'The Price Is Right.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "$6,000 quid, love.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "You can't put a price on dignity. / Uh, tell that to your outfit.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "This is your outfit. / What?!", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "Were all the other cars on fire, then?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "New Car"}, {"t": "David saying his expired license is 'fine' when asked if he has it", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Alexis reveals 'it took him like, 16 tries to get it last time' with gleeful specificity", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Alexis gasping dramatically at David's expired license", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "David's increasingly desperate denials: 'It didn't take me 16 tries!'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "The detailed recounting of David's multiple driving test failures", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Moira's clinical diagnosis: 'crippling test anxiety'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Moira asking David to drive after just learning his license is expired", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Moira saying 'It's fine' about her wallet/license in the exact same deflective way David did", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "David hoping to contract a deadly lung infection rather than do paperwork", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Patrick's admission that he never looked at paperwork in his galleries", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Patrick's non-answer when David asks if it ever came together", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "David being 'the owner of a very sad business with one under-performing employee'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Patrick's escalating time periods for 'stepping away' (15 minutes to 2 hours)", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "David's flat rejection: 'Oh yeah, that's not gonna happen right now'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Patrick saying he needs a valid driver's license to run errands", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "David's perceptive observation: 'Hmm, that's really perceptive' when Patrick says it's not a good time to ask", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Alexis having licenses in seven different countries", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Alexis having an 'F' Class license for transport trucks", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Alexis mentioning parallel parking in a burka", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Alexis asking David to hold the wheel while she checks her phone", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Alexis having a 7-year-old drive her around Mumbai", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Stevie's sobbing interrupting Johnny and Moira's complaint about the faucet", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Moira diagnosing it as 'boy troubles, no doubt'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Moira's dramatic description of the dripping: 'the incessant tap, tap, tap... Oh, it's so irritating, Stevie'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Moira's immediate assumption: 'Oh, boy troubles, no doubt'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Moira offering Stevie a pill to forget her problems for two days", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Johnny's wounded response: 'Well, I didn't realize I had a downtick, Moira'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Moira's offer to get Stevie 'a pill... going to make you forget every last one of those irrational thoughts for at least two days!'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "David asking the driving examiner 'people aren't thinking about you the way that you're thinking about you'", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Alexis saying she walks through life 'in really nice shoes'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Johnny's 'temporary fix' being a sandwich bag secured with an elastic", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Johnny's business advice: 'when that idea comes, it's going to appear so obvious' followed immediately by Stevie's practical suggestion about charging full price", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Johnny's pivot from first to 'second or third idea' being the keeper", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Roland describing the new pulp mill floors as so clean 'you can eat your lunch off them'", "c": ["Roland", "Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "The driving examiner calling David 'Derek'", "c": ["Examiner", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "David asking if the examiner cares about him 'in the car' after learning he's done eight tests today", "c": ["David", "Examiner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Moira's confession: 'You didn't get the money, did you?' followed by elaborate excuse about robbing Johnny of necessity", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "David's revelation about being constantly worried about Alexis being held hostage in 'East Asian palaces'", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Ray advising against partnering with someone with 'no capital, no contacts, no industry experience'", "c": ["Ray", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Johnny's 'fixed' tap now making the hot water come out of the cold tap", "c": ["Johnny", "David", "Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "The tap can't be turned off and is burning Alexis's hand", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis", "Family"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Johnny's proud declaration 'See? No drip' while chaos ensues around broken faucet", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Driving Test"}, {"t": "Is it a job? / I don't know, do I look like Ginnifer?!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "David, your inability to retain information that doesn't directly pertain to you might actually require medical attention!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "David there's nothing here but... 'hot singles in my area.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Attractive and spunky forty-something female. / In my sleep!", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "The Crows Have Eyes... Two. / It's a sequel, that's good. It must mean the first one was a big success. / I've never heard of it.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "And so it begins again.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "My associate usually works the computer, But uh... let's get you booked.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Are you new at this? / Ish. (Laughs)", "c": ["Guest", "Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Who's the other actress? / Well, they haven't found her yet.", "c": ["Twyla", "Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "I'm sure you've seen 'The Crows Have Eyes.' / I have never heard of it, but congratulations.", "c": ["Moira", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "God, it'd be such big shoes to fill. / No, Twyla, no. No deprecatory mocking.", "c": ["Twyla", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "He looks like if Ricky Martin and Mark Consuelos had a baby.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Why should the person who is performing surgery on your pet have to have a six pack?! / You have a six pack.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "That's not the point! And... it's not a full six yet, That's why I'm shredding right now.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "If he wants to sell sex, then he should just get a job down at the Dude Cave! He'd make more money than being a vet!", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Um, what's the Dude Cave? / It's the all male strip club outside of town. My cousin Dwayne works there; he drives a Corvette.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "That is very popular with people who hate their jobs, or are in loveless marriages.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Start from five, you leave out the two, and the one. / Okay, why? / Because it's my process.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Oh, you'll see! And it's not a flock, my dear boy... it's a murder.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Sorry, um, this is... just one big rip off of 'The Birds!' / This is about crows! It's much more specific!", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "'Look, they've taken Clara!' 'Where are they carrying her to, Clara?' Are there two Claras?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "It's a common name. / Yeah, the next scene takes place in a large bird's nest.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "I actually think you do play off a corpse in the next scene, and... if I'm being perfectly honest, this is all playing a bit big.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "A note, coming from my son?! Who I carried for almost a full seven months", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Who I carried for almost a full seven months", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Your new partner just booked three rooms, before you even got in this morning. / Wow. Ha!", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "So you're renting our rooms by the hour?! / We haven't had a guest in four days!", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "But when it turns out I'm right, and it's just a group of business professionals decompressing for a few hours, during a... long day at a regional accountants' conference, then I expect a full apology.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "You don't hear it, when you say it like that? / I hear it a bit.", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "This isn't one of those animal rights viral videos where the bunnies go through a meat processor in the end, is it?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "This isn't one of those animal rights viral videos where the bunnies go through a meat processor in the end, is it?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "That's like, double your Instagram followers. / Okay, my account is private, thanks.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "No, Ted is getting naked on your webcam!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Ted looks good. / Yeah, he does. / David, he looks really good. / Okay, that's gross.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "And that's something we didn't discuss. / And?", "c": ["Johnny", "Trish"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "We're a very high-end operation, and very discreet.", "c": ["Trish"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Besides, people are making love in these rooms, whether they rent by the day, the week, or the hour.", "c": ["Trish"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "people are making love in these rooms, whether they rent by the day, the week, or the hour.", "c": ["Trish"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Oh no, why didn't you tell me the camera could see me when I get back from my runs?! / I just noticed!", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Although there was a moment last night, where it looked like you might have known, and you were doing this like, thing with your hips.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "People were very concerned as to whether or not you would get your pants on successfully.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Well... who's to say that people weren't watching for the bunnies? / I am, that's what I'm saying.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Well, what can I say, sometimes I like to live dangerously. While still respecting my personal boundaries.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "You booked it. / Ohhhh! David! I did?", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Ooh, it's filming in Bosnia! Um, in a city that I don't, I don't know the name of the city, I can't pronounce it, a lot of consonants.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "You'll be put up with a local family.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "There's a death waiver?! / Ohh!", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Yeah, but we haven't even gotten to the section on bird safety yet! / Shut it! Now.", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "when I first heard that Stevie was hitching her wagon to your cart, the first thing that came into my mind was, whoooa, Nelly! That horse is in big trouble.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "A convoluted metaphor, but um...", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "we don't talk about our feelings, we keep 'em all rawrrr inside!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Who's Ken? / Well, Ken is probably her husband. / Uh huh, and she doesn't know what he looks like?", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Well, I'm really happy to hear that, because I would hate to have to assert my mayoral authority in a situation like this, yes?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Well, I'm really happy to hear that, because I would hate to have to assert my mayoral authority in a situation like this, yes?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Well, you know what, I'm glad I helped you fix your uh, broken moral compass. / Well, there's nothing wrong with my moral compass, but... / All right, well, why don't we tell Kitty that?", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "while the Bosnian Riviera is a majestic locale, it can't hold a candle to singing... with you wonderful working women here, in our makeshift rehearsal studio.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "John and I made David to that song, in Pusitano.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "\u266a K-H-E-O-K! \u266a", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Twyla"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "(Moira sings in another language) / (Moira sings loudly)", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "(Moira sings loudly in another language)", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Rooms By The Hour"}, {"t": "Okay, before we start, I just wanna warn everybody, there is a murderer on the loose. In this town. - So heads up, eyes peeled, guys.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "John and I used to attend \"Eyes Wide Shut\" parties at the Castros'. Though... I'm guessing your evening's activities might be somewhat different.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Oh well, the party's actually Friday. I had a 50/50 chance there.", "c": ["Twyla", "Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Oh, I would be pleased to RSVP as... pending. Just uh, as soon as I double check, and circle back.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "A weekend of golf, and a stay at a luxurious motel. What motel is that? I'm gonna let them work out the verbiage", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Except there was this one point in high school where I got this haircut that everyone said made me look like I was in the LPGA.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "I might even let you drive the cart. - Can you drink on the cart? - Yeah. Well, I will get the \"back in 15 minutes\" sign.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Well, it's gonna take longer than 15 minutes. You have to give people hope.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Understandably, yes, BLT please, no bread.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "I was actually thinking bagel bites. - Ah! Did I mention it was a potluck? Oh, you most certainly did not.", "c": ["Twyla", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "No one's coming to your party? Well, in fairness, the party is still a few hours away.", "c": ["Moira", "Twyla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "And some people did say that if another thing that's supposed to happen doesn't happen, then they might be able to come, so, that's good.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Well, I shouldn't have said no one, My mom will come. And she'll probably bring whoever she's dating. And he'll most likely bring some younger friend.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "You'd be shocked at how many celebrities show up to a thing with the promise of a free Wagyu slider. I-I'm not charging anyone, this is just for fun. Oh, this is worse than I assumed!", "c": ["Moira", "Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Did you know you can still get mail? Yes, I know about mail. No, but I'm talking about like, mail, mail. Like a little man in a uniform, with his satchel full of letters, traveling door to door.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Um, that's a mailman. And he comes to your house, you pay him, and he gives you your stuff. I think it's free delivery, David. I don't think so...", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "And he comes to your house, you pay him, and he gives you your stuff. I think it's free delivery, David. I don't think so...", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "it's just that the town only has so many ex-boyfriends to hand out secretary work. Um, first of all, David, I'm an assistant, not a secretary, And second of all, Ted is not my ex-boyfriend, he is ex-fiance.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "You've circled \"Stars and Cosmology?\" Oh yeah, I thought it said \"Cosmetology.\"", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Well, the set up is very important, Stevie. Uh, legs so far apart, - knees slightly bent. - Ooh! Make sure you're nice and balanced over the ball. Yeah, woo!", "c": ["Roland", "Stevie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Right, okay, so just first off, spread your legs just a little wider, if you would, for me. There, see, Stevie? They've gotta be like, sort of even with the shoulders, and if you would just pop the old tush... Just go, Bam!", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Are you using the Vargon grip? I'm using La Va Grande.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Yeah, this is just a little hard to understand, so I want a record of it. Okay, delete that, please! Can I get a copy of that?", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Well, I happened to be chatting with our dear little Twyla about her party tonight, and she mentioned that you have yet to RSVP? And I thought, that's not the Jocelyn I know. What must've felled her?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Last year it went until 3 am, And Twyla just wandered around kind of winking at everybody, until she realized she hadn't picked a murderer.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "And then the year before there were three murderers, and one of them actually robbed the cafe!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "This party has real momentum now. And with you attached, it's no less than a snowball gathering speed, picking up bodies as it rolls downhill. And that's good? Very good.", "c": ["Moira", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Okay, it's just that I misplaced my high school diploma when we lost our house. No, I wish it was a flood.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "That's almost word for word what they just said to me on the phone.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Okay, what are you doing? Reorganizing my knits!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Uh, we were playing at um... it was what course, Stevie? It was down the road. Uh, Maple... Grove? Grove, Maple Grove.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Uh, we were playing at um... it was what course, Stevie? It was down the road. Uh, Maple... Grove? Grove, Maple Grove.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Maple Grove? No, I don't know that one. Oh, really? It's a beautiful course. Very exclusive, Uh, but it is set... way back off the road, it's... Which might explain why you've never seen or heard of it.", "c": ["Golf Manager", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Very exclusive, Uh, but it is set... way back off the road, it's... Which might explain why you've never seen or heard of it.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Pub nights, frisbee in the quad... Late night hacky sack. Mhmm. We got some serious sack circles going. Oh, so many sex circles. Sack. Hacky sack.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Didn't you say on your resume that you did four years at UCLA? Yes... technically, if you consider Bel Air an extension of the campus, which everybody does.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "But I did meet Beyonce in Mykonos, so it was almost worth it.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "No, no, me and some friends, we just got in a car, and took off. Yeah, we were following the American Idol tour. We missed a couple shows, but it's always the exact same set, so... no regrets.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Okay, let's get our golf sticks.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Did you know that according to IMDB, Rosa Parks was in an episode of \"Touched By an Angel?\"", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Did you know that according to IMDB, Rosa Parks was in an episode of \"Touched By an Angel?\" Exactly, David. You are bored, lethargic, and practically dripping with ennui!", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "You are bored, lethargic, and practically dripping with ennui!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "You are squandering your social capital. A taste-maker like you should be out there, tasting things! Uh, I'm at the buffet, and there is nothing to taste!", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Aw, say, don't be a dew-dropper! Throw some concealer under those peepers, make like a swell, and go put on the Ritz!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Uh, where are you?! You know who this is, and you know where I am. Did everyone show up? Yes, everybody showed up. Good, then my work is done. Uh no, your job is not done, You guilted me into coming here tonight!", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "They'll never catch me.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "You should thank me. Twyla was set to throw a fiasco until I exerted my influence. Uh yeah, and the way Twyla keeps asking about where you are, I'm pretty sure you're the murderer.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, we were at the graduation! Yeah! I know, but I wasn't. We saw you there! Did we, though? Yeah. We were there, we might not have stayed through the \"R's,\" I think we left halfway through the \"L's.\"", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "we might not have stayed through the \"R's,\" I think we left halfway through the \"L's.\" Oh, yeah, it got very repetitive.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Then how do you explain this graduation photo? Huh? That's Jess Chang! What? Jess Chang? Well, who can tell with all this hair in front of your face? That's not my face!", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Murder Mystery"}, {"t": "Yeah, this is an iconic moment in all of our lives, and I think we should experience it to the fullest.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "I will not relive that bullying nightmare... She doesn't mean you, Alexis... That's the heartbreaking part, He was so blissfully unaware.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Okay, he's being sarcastic! What?! It's a defense mechanism. From all the bullying.", "c": ["Alexis", "David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "I can't tell what's more tragic, the fact that the only store in town is closing, or that they've decided to display fungal cream beside the cereal boxes.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "That's actually really convenient, because I forgot to have breakfast, and I'm running low on fungal cream, so... I don't wanna hear you say fungal again. Fungal?", "c": ["Stevie", "David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "David's horror at hearing 'fungal' again", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's like they knew what the consumer wanted, and then ran in the opposite direction.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Okay, your eyebrows never move, so I can't tell whether you're being serious or not.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "What you lack in most things, you make up for in unsubstantiated confidence.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Um, it's this long, boring story involving a yacht, and a famous soccer player, and like... a ton of mushrooms.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Anyway, I think it would be so great if we could just go around the room, and everyone could tell me like, five things about yourself.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "No, no, no, a continental breakfast, just pastries and coffee. No coffee.", "c": ["Johnny", "Ivan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Oh, I wouldn't expect you to make the coffee. No, I make coffee, but only for myself.", "c": ["Johnny", "Ivan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "I bake for Twyla.", "c": ["Ivan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "They sell Christmas stuff all year round... And what on earth is a Christmas World?", "c": ["Roland", "Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "You know, I have yet to find an ornament in there that I'd put on my tree, and I heard those little elves they have running around, they're actually underage kids.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "A word to the wise, okay? You don't vote against Christmas. It's huge business.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "We don't wanna get on their naughty list.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Ivan's elaborate baking family tradition list ending with Pop-Tarts", "c": ["Ivan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Blueberry butter tart with raisin, blueberry butter tart with chips of chocolate...", "c": ["Ivan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "No, no, I can't. I try, but when I speak, is like many, many muffin in my mouth.", "c": ["Ivan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "You say, he's a good man, hard worker, never hurt no one. Well, I wouldn't lead with that but uh...", "c": ["Ivan", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Um, it's more of a plan for an idea of a-a thing that I will be working at.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Ha! Oh! Can you imagine? Not seizing on this opportunity.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Dare I say, the space might be cursed?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Moira's repetitive questioning technique", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "No, you're not, you're just repeating random things that I've been saying!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Who wants a silver tree? The only people who buy silver trees are serial killers, and single men over 40, and my cousin, who is a single man over 40.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Sometimes the eyes won't allow the brain to see things at first. Like the cultural and economic benefits of a seasonally specific store.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "I shouldn't come home. I shouldn't... I shouldn't come home.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Hmm, well, I asked Kirsten Dunst, who played her in the movie. Um, that line was actually written years before Marie Antoinette allegedly said it. And um, Kirsten also told me at the premiere that she was jealous of my bangs.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Friends called me Marie because I was seeing Prince Harry", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "My friends used to call me Marie, And that was mainly because I was casually seeing Prince Harry, so there was the whole like, is she gonna be a princess thing", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "You know who else passed notes? This lady passed a lot of secret notes, and eventually was killed.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Taste levels scraping bottom of barrel with Christmas World", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "You don't enjoy children so perhaps you won't understand", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "And who do you think bought all your patrons?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "My entire professional career was a sham", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "'Got Mail,' 'When Harry Met Sally,' 'Smell of Woman.'", "c": ["Ivan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "What does dog say before the breakfast? Bun appetite... Bone appetit, I think it's a dog bone joke. Bun appetite.", "c": ["Ivan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "New girl in town can be super intimidating", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "'Alexis is too pretty, and everyone's talking about the dress. So gorge.'", "c": ["Jocelyn reading note"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "I stole this dress from Ashlee Simpson. Or like, she stole it from me, and then I stole it back.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "They paid for everything, it's like a form of child abuse. Don't quote me on this, but it seems like their intentions were good.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Yeah, I mean, they do give me a small weekly stipend for to hanging out with you, so...", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "And what's that, your friends at Christmas World are looking for a deeply embittered, mildly Hebraic-looking elf?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "And me, but in this case, you.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "What's continental about that? It's for business travelers, travelling the continent, eating breakfast, and... continental travelling.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Continental breakfast explanation getting more confused", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Not the point!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Day-old buns added a star to our rating", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "General Store"}, {"t": "Says who?! The guy who invented custom beer cozies?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Yes, the last thing we want to do is stain these exquisite table tops.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "tweet us on Facebook!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Well, aren't you Mr. Futuristic!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "If they're at the motel using the coasters, they don't need to know where the motel is.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "A hashtag? Is that two words?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "something in a supervisory capacity, perhaps?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "receptionist work is not my strong suit, that's more Alexis' bailiwick.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Then I shall keep watch over this front desk.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Is it because I was texting in class?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Oh my God, thank you!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Trust me, if I could've gotten someone else to write this, I would've.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Duplicitousness?! I can barely say that.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Okay, like, I didn't even choose this font! It's horrible.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Leased.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Give you more time to... oscillate.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Battin' a thousand here, David.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "I don't know what that means.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "it's a General Store, but it's also a very specific store.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "more like a branded immersive experience.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "I love the buzzwords, David, but I do need to put something down here.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "I don't play cricket.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Oh my God, where did you come from?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "My associates will deal with all that when you depart.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "No, I use it to lay out my clothes.", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "I like to see all my clothes at once.", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Except I haven't decided which bed to sleep in, so that's tricky.", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Yes. - Sorry, which one? - I don't care. - I'm sorry? I don't know!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "And I'm very much looking forward to the moment when that stops!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "which is why it was super upsetting when she said it wasn't good. - She what? - Yeah, she said it was bad.", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "duplexity, and backtowards!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "did she... happen to say anything about that quote from Lee lacocca?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Some guy who's working at Ray's told you your business was a failure?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Okay, maybe he didn't call my business a failure, but it was insinuated.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "I'm incapable of faking sincerity. I'm also just incapable of sincerity in general.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "I am sitting on a big, empty space, and I couldn't even tell him what I wanted to do with it!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Hi David, it's Patrick. I um-was just calling to run my business plan by you in a little more detail.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Ciao! I said ciao to that person.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Which that's not - that's not your name.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Oh God! Yeah, the text cut us off.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "I manned that front desk with the vigor of a wartime radio operator.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "It was a master class in patience.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "with an unrecognizable accent, and scary-looking attire.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "And what might this have to do with me?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "fussy little (Bleep)!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "But unlike him, I will not hide behind the internet!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Just kidding, I didn't play them for anybody.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "I may have played them here on speaker phone.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "'Rose Apothecary,' you know, it's just pretentious enough.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "it's just pretentious enough.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Would we call that pretentious, or... timeless?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Why couldn't you have helped me cheat in private school, like everyone else's parents?!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Because I wasn't around to help you cheat back then, and I regret it!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "is it really plagiarism to take something your dad wrote, and put it in your paper, and claim it as your own? Yes, that's exactly what it is.", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "you're better... 'than' that. / Okay, I'm better then that. / Not better then that, better... than that.", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "The drinks out of this machine are very cold. Too cold.", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "My daughter married a man who turned out to be her uncle.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "The lowlife uncle she believed to have been executed years before by the Indian cartel.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "they threatened to burn down the motel, and leave my pregnant baby penniless.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "but not without first shaving all her beautiful hair!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Nothing! She is my everything!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "I would love to read this economics paper.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "why shop in store when you can buy online", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Follow us on tweeters!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "We're going to get lots of disciples, dear.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Motel Review"}, {"t": "Well, that's not very helpful, John. You're the only one using the sign-out sheet.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Because you're the only one using that sign-out sheet.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I can't take four hours in the truck with Roland and Lynyrd Skynyrd.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "If airplane safety videos have taught me anything, David, it's that a mother puts her own mask on first.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Ah, see, and that's precisely why we have the sign-out sheet.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Under purpose of trip he writes 'driving.'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I want to see the look on your face when you walk into your first regional association of municipalities conference.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I won't wear anything with an adhesive backing.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "You mean the one serving drinks to the other people?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Well, now you've identified the catering staff.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I mean, it's really kinda scary that we're all in here under one roof.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "If there is anyone at this fabulous little confab who know how to work a room of fragile egos, it's me.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I once hosted the non-televised portion of the People Choice Awards.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "That's like 53 pounds.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I'm currently studying business and I'm David's sister and life coach so.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I'm sorry if my hands are too soft. I've just been sampling a lot of product.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Well, I was simply channeled someone who cares, but if you insist on referring to me as the linchpin. I'll take that.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Yes, I'll I'm the ingenue here. A total babe in the political woods.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "They have a special RAMC cocktail. It's a sparkling white Russian. The trick is to get it down before it curdles.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Uh, that is actually cat hair. There's a Himalayan breeder up the street that knits them for us.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Because I was just thinking that this frame is a little too corporate for my brand.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Okay, well I flattened out the lip balm. So no one's gonna notice.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Actually, the textbooks now say eighteen months.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Well, I don't have my textbook on me.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "The cheering and accolades are drowning out your gentle voice.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "That's my man, Johnny!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Goodbye, phone call!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Roland! What are you doing in my room?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Well, what the fuck are you doing in your room?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Are you naked under there?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Honey, what I do in the privacy of my sheets is my own business.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Roland and Moira, sleeping together.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "And we probably shouldn't read anything into the fact that for some reason, Moira decided to hide this from you.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "It's just that I know what it's like to be in bed with a naked Roland Schitt, and I am powerless against that.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "It's called sweat equity, David. I learned about this week.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I think you might actually need to break a sweat, in order to earn sweat equity.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Okay, what if I got Patrick to break a sweat for me. That's called outsourcing, outsourcing...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "He's a business major who wears straight leg, mid-range denim. He's not into me.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I know, wasn't that funny?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Obviously. I didn't tell you anything because I was embarrassed.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Moira, that's my beer! You don't even drink beer!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "It's symbolic, John.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I um... I actually picked out that frame.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I am 99.999% sure that nothing happened between me and your wife.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I spent 35 minutes this morning inspecting every inch of my body for bite marks, back scratches, lipstick prints.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "My wife would never go out for a burger when she has a strong penchant for steak.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I had my one chance at a proletarian oasis and I squandered it, passed out Roland a bed.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "Do we call him uncle Roland?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "I just want you to know that no matter what anyone says, you will always be our first dad.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Affair"}, {"t": "When did you date Sebastien Raine? / They dated for like a month and a half and David got very upset about it. / Okay, It was almost three months. Four, if you include the month that he was seeing other people.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "He's a monster, who uses people, and leaves them for dead.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Okay, It was almost three months. Four, if you include the month that he was seeing other people.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Remember when he dumped you? And you ate all those mall pretzels, and watched 'Bridget Jones's Diary' every day for a year. / It wasn't a whole year, And I will not feel shame about the mall pretzels.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "I could cancel, but you just told me you don't care so now I have no choice but to meet him.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "He's most likely wearing a very expensive sweater, that doesn't look very expensive. / Is he like, really... Really handsome in a homeless-y way sort of way? Yes.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "He's walking. / He's walking. / He's walking towards here. / Where is he walking to? / And now he's coming in / Now he's coming in... and so he's here. / He's here.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "This is... exactly how I pictured it.", "c": ["Sebastien"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Look at you... You look really... Healthy.", "c": ["Sebastien"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "I think you're brave.", "c": ["Sebastien"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "You must be David's girlfriend. / No... / No, I own The Motel, so that makes me more like your landlord? / No. It doesn't.", "c": ["Sebastien", "Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "I'd love to Polaroid you naked one day. / Okay. / Okay?!", "c": ["Sebastien", "Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "So brave. / So brave.", "c": ["Sebastien"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "I love it. It's just so unassertive. You can't find this in New York City.", "c": ["Sebastien"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Creativity lives on its feet. Anything else is bullshit. / I just ordered you a Sanka-ccino.", "c": ["Sebastien", "Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "But, I volunteer to work here. / Because it's your job.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "I thought my community service hours would apply but they don't count because their court-ordered.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Um, it's just I have a thing with skin tags and old smells. So I might just need to think on it. / Well, tonight's gonna be fun though, dance lessons! / We'd have to touch them.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Now act like you're talking to me. / I am talking to you. / No. Not like that. It's got to be more conversational.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Tell him that we're doing something together tonight, okay? Tell him... you're taking me for a haircut tonight. / Haircut?", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "I wouldn't mind playing, Bob. / Really?", "c": ["Johnny", "Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Can I ask you something? Um, do you have even the slightest concept of what just happened here?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "At the motel? And here I thought I gave you very specific instructions to go directly to the cafe. / Ever the renegade.", "c": ["Moira", "Sebastien"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "You must have used our name.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "You must have used our name. / But Sebastien, I was under the impression that you were here just for today for a quick consult...", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "This is my talk now, shoot later look. So, this visage is off-limits for-for the moment.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "There's a provincial romanticism to all this, that's just... terrifying and important.", "c": ["Sebastien"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Let the field reveal itself to you.", "c": ["Sebastien"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "picturettes, really.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "I leaned in! I don't know, David. Why don't you try it... sometime!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Dot, you won't need the Swiffer. / I guess I'll be dancing with Ted.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Although I did think that there would be more of them. / Yeah, well there used to be, but... you know.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Oh, okay, but these ones actually smell like very clean, like baby powder.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Does Dot have arthritis? Because it looks like she's giving me the finger. / Well, she has arthritis, but not in that hand.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Well, she has arthritis, but not in that hand.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Full house. Read 'em and weep. / And I think I come in second because I got a pair of Queens. / There's no second place, Roland.", "c": ["Bob", "Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "And I think I come in second because I got a pair of Queens. There's no second place, Roland.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Yeah, I guess it's another trip to Bob's laundromat, right? You know, because he keeps taking us to the cleaners.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "But ah, I do miss my wristwatch.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Ahhh. Like if she had an 'accident' or something? / I don't mean bump her off, Roland.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Kosher? / And halal. / Gwen, you called it!", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny", "Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "I don't think you want to drive, Roland. / I don't mind. I love driving. / I don't think you do. / Yeah, I don't love driving. Not at night. No! / And I'm drunk.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "The photos are really haunting. / Haunting. / Sure she'd be thrilled about that adjective.", "c": ["Sebastien", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "And while my therapist said I should never feel sorrow, I do appreciate your pain.", "c": ["Sebastien"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Dear, we know all about the failed engagements.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Is she not cute? / She's not you.", "c": ["Alexis", "Joan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "My husband and I were really close friends for 52 years.", "c": ["Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "I would rather dance with the Swiffer.", "c": ["Dot"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Well, Uh... You thought we were cheating? / No! No... I / No offense, but I don't need to cheat to beat any of you.", "c": ["Johnny", "Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "And Roland... well, you know... I don't even know if you know the rules. / I don't know all of them. No.", "c": ["Bob", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Oh, I'd love to believe you, but there's a big fat line between charm and bullshit.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'd give it back, but I don't think it'll be of much use to you. It accidentally fell out of your camera into my hand last night. And then fell out of my hand into my drink. And then I stepped on it a lot.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "It wasn't just for you. Let's just say we both won.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "Those aren't for you. / How's that watch working out for you? / I love it. Thanks.", "c": ["Gwen", "Bob", "Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Sebastien Raine"}, {"t": "I did not know he was a substitute teacher, and basically, nothing happened.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "She doesn't look like a horse, she just talks about them a lot. And smells a bit.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Can everyone stop saying lice please?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "This is the last time I take a pity selfie with Kelsey!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Some of our guests prefer morning and evening sheets.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Your hair's in a ponytail, that's fantastic... gives the neck a chance to breathe", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I'm not used to that level of kindness.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Mama Oprah would be very proud of us.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "A platonic sleepover?", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "That would be a shower cap.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Yes, that is almost entirely correct.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Bob's Bench... So is the bench.", "c": ["Roland", "Bob"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Meredith! She's new-ish, you might not remember her, just kind of like, mid-length, like wavy hair.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "You know that it's me, right?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I don't know about little, because I'm benching 225 right now", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Also, I'm kind of a samurai when it comes to a metal comb, so...", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Um, you know that it's me, right? - Yeah, caught on pretty quick.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Can you drink these?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Anyone with a fiber of common sense would know that it's not actually milk.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Oh well, anyone with a fiber of common sense would know that.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I like him. I like you.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "It's almost as if you want me to get the lice.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "This is really fun for me. I'm having a lot of fun.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Who the fuck is Lucy Albion?!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I won't be pitied, John! Or fed your pacifying pablum like some kind of soft-headed infant!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "The notion of that garden is as abhorrent to me as our daughter's scalp!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I could've sworn I heard you say change the sheets.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "28.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Oh, and I checked your hairbrush and it is fine.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Plus I didn't want you to picture me like some well-toned bug woman.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I didn't want you to picture me like some well-toned bug woman.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I could be shearing you with trimmers right now.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "It reminds me of when I was in Bangkok. There was this amazing little Resto-Lounge that specialized in Tahitian food, and scalp massages.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I'm not sure what's more disgusting, what I'm doing right now, or the concept for that restaurant.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Just-just the mama, we got her.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "For some reason I pictured you living underground.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I followed Lilith Fair for two summers.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Two toothbrushes? Hello!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I just see two de-shelled hard-boiled eggs in a bag, should I be scared for you?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Oh, in the freezer, okay. There she is! Look at that, look at her, go. What a gift.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Evacuation Route 14... 'Moira Rose Boulevard.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Last year my throat almost completely shut.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Guest bedroom, what is he, Bill Gates?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "The Moira's Rose's Garden.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "The Moira's Rose's Garden. / So the garden is dedicated to a rose that Moira owns?", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "Those are the last four digits of your father's credit card.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "So when we die, are we all gonna be buried here?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Stop Saying Lice!"}, {"t": "I rather not attach my name to a gift that I had no hand in selecting.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "You all look like cartoons.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I don't even remember posing for this. Because you didn't. You were in rehab when we sat for this.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I wasn't in rehab, I was at rehab visiting Stavros.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "We had your face painted on the body of my assistant. That's why you look so good.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "$20 bucks, I'll give you a hand taking it in. $30 buck, I'll help you in with it. $40 buck and I'll help you in with in. I can keep going up. Can play this game all day, pal.", "c": ["Roland", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I can't tell if this room is just very, very small, or if the portrait is very, very big. Well, I think it's quite possible that both are true.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Maybe move some wigs.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "enormous strength of this family.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "It's just that I don't normally share beverages with people. / Really. That is shocking news.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Some people have nice, clean mouths, and some people have sloppy mouths.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I look to like Gwyneth who soft-launched the goop newsletter and now it's a thriving lifestyle publication slash empire.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "No. You've got a sloppy mouth.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "She said that her cat is better. She doesn't have a cat.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "somebody isn't coming in today and someone's cat is better. Oh, and someone's something may be worse...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I got a 60 and a 65! Alexis, those are the class averages. You got a 63 and a 68!", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I, in the mean time, will go to get back to... work-o.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Did it grow?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "It's always better to go under. Go under? No. When it comes to expectations It's always to go under than over.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Every Rose video we opened had fireworks. Day or night. People love pizzazz.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Does that mean we get a 50 percent discount?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "this modest little vigil you're hosting", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Like when your parents kiss their friends... on the mouth. Yes. Like kissing your parents.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I had to delete groupon from my phone last week. Just 'cause three vacuums is enough... Vacuums.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Back to work-o.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I've been meaning to have my family portrait airlifted in...", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I don't think that's gonna happen.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "You'd think there'd be more of a market for oversized paintings of other people's families.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "She paid extra for that.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Who's Gwen?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Twyla's whole family. So, like, 75?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Looks like this soft launch is firming up a bit, huh. But it's not supposed to be firm. Well, with this many people it's definitely at least semi-firm. Okay. Well, as long as it doesn't get hard.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I'm Darleen's cousin. Who the fuck are you?", "c": ["Unknown customer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "That kind of language, folks, will not be tolerated at Rose Apothecary. Thank you. This is a safe place.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I for one blame Gwyneth.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "He's managed to create in this town something truly winsome. I would shop here, John. Even without a nagging sense of obligation.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Um, I'm pretty sure your hands are gonna be fine.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Is it drugs? Uh, no. It's loose leaf tea. Okay. Because it smells exactly like... Oh, come on! Wow! Geez, I didn't realize this place was a front.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I started drinking tea in high school.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Actually I was talking about you passing your exams.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I had nothing but doubts... No doubts. That you could do this.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "we could cut our faces out and make four smaller, individual portraits.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "You picked up a stick. No, it's a pencil shaped like a twig.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I hate it when they don't put price tags on things.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I think maybe we should just avoid kisses for a while. Even adult ones.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "we'd be 25 percent richer if we just done a hard launch.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "Oh, they are.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Friends And Family"}, {"t": "I have a favour... - Oh, great. Um... I would love a ride to work. - I meant, I have a favour to ask.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Well, who says that, 'I have a favour for you?'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "We're all pitching in these days, dear. Like communists or non-union actors.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I didn't tell you because I don't want you to come.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "It's bad enough that I have to wear that unflattering black dress and then the hat with the thing on it in front of people that I don't know.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I was at your first graduation and it's not my fault that you weren't there.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "It's my birthday.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "We, we didn't forget. - No, we've been talking about it for weeks. - You've been talking about it for weeks.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I'm very uninterested in that option. - As am I.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "They can't say we didn't try.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Ugh. - What? - Woof... David.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.34, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, isn't that thoughtful. I wish everyone remembered special days like that, but, alas, that's not what this world is anymore.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Here is a question. Um, has your family ever forgotten your birthday? Like your parents and your sister, collectively, as a whole?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "That would be a no. No, we've always had some kind of party. Oh. - In fact, sometimes two parties.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Ah, I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit and falling asleep early. So just a regular weeknight.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I've heard people raving about how 'moderately edible' the food is there.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Those are wet now. - That's a lot of spritzing. - I'm gonna dry those off.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.41, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "formal training is usually encouraged. - Well, I don't have formal training.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "No. God no.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "The poor thing went to cat camp.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Maybe there's a job out there that I'm better suited for. And some other like gorgeous, slightly under qualified girl is sitting at my desk asking herself the same question.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I'm just realizing that wanting to come in and laugh at your animal puns isn't enough when there is like people here.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Those were genuine laughs? - Sometimes, yeah.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Well, I can't say the reception will be as fun, but that's really generous of you, Alexis. Like, surprisingly generous.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Have you tried restarting it? - What? - Oh. Sorry, I thought you were having trouble with the computer again.", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Are you sure you didn't put the same reservation in twice? Because you've done that before.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, that burnt out years ago. Sadly it hasn't been an issue, but... Maybe we could use the 'no' from the 'no refunds' sign.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I don't think we're those kind of people. - In the sky! Here we go! Yeah! Big day!", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Because we are an ensemble group And this requires a lead vocal that just happens to be in your range.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "when one of us shines, all of us shine. That is the meaning of ensemble.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Oh. Is the bad news that there is no good news? My aunt used to play this game with me a lot.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "They got a terrible stomach flu that just run right through them.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Alexis has veritably browbeaten us not to attend.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I wouldn't be surprised if she skips the whole affair herself. Waggish little nymph, that she is.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I'd advise against the mortarboard. It'll flattens the hair and pull focus away from that beautiful face.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "But by not wearing one, you'll stand out. And by the fact that you're a good ten years older than everyone else.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I don't know why. Everybody graduates from high school.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "It's not too late if you wanna come. - Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about me. Mommy is going to be fine.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "you have been and always will be one of my top priorities.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I almost didn't see you there through the mad rush of the Friday night dinner crowd.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I assumed that the cafe would have a dinner jacket policy and I didn't wanna wear one of theirs.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "they've done such a wonderful job of editing down the menu to a very concise, world-class selection of international cuisine.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "In case you didn't know, I'm widely popular. Some might even venture to call me beloved.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "So I think I'm crashing a date?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "It's very nicely wrapped. So I think I'm crashing a date? - He thinks you guys were here, one-on-one. He brought you a present. I didn't even get you a present.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "if there's anything remotely sentimental in here, he is on a date with you right now.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "So you put it on the table? - Yeah.", "c": ["Patrick", "Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "This is the first gift I haven't bought myself in a very long time. So thank you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Oh, it's just the receipt from our first sale at the store.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Pretty sure I scraped off all the freezer burn.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "these don't travel well. Even coming from the kitchen they lost a lot of shape.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Let's try to find another word for 'quit.' You know, it kinda implies poor management.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "You're Damien Steele? - Shh! Come on, I don't want the whole town to find out.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "the mayor of the town can't use his real name to check into a love motel. - Yeah, it's not a love motel, Roland.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "if you know what I mean. - Yeah, you just told me what you mean.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "If you catch my drift. - Yeah, I caught your drift when you told me what you mean.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Oh really? She said, extra special. I think we should stay.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "A bold claim.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "I've never done that before... with a guy.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Well, um, fortunately, I'm an very generous person.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Just preferably not before 10 a.m., 'cause I'm not really a morning person.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "'Happy day Alex and Davis'. - We've done the best we can.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Okay, I think that this is really pulling focus from my birthday a bit though.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Grad Night"}, {"t": "Big waves! Big waves! Oh yes. Yes, tidal waves of prosperity are crashing down, all around us.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Hey partner, what's the good word? There's a dead guy in Room 4.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I have endured a cornucopia of trauma that last few years, I draw the line at living in a crime scene.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Like, checked out without paying, asleep.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Okay, I think it's a little early for humor, Stevie.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, did you just see a dead body?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "John old? Or old, old?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Well, I don't quite see the relevance in that question, Moira, the man is dead.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Okay, I always knew there'd be a murder here eventually.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Why do I find that scenario even more bone-chilling than murder?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Do I look like a coroner?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "It feels like every time the motel sells out, someone dies. Uh, we've only sold out one night. Exactly.", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Fall off a bridge, please.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "French your business partner literally the second he peeks his head out of the closet.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Patrick is a sweet little button face, David, so don't mess this up.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Okay, every inch of that sentence made me sick.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "It'll take day just to re-box your mother's wigs.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Oh my God, can you imagine? Not one of you is trained.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Okay, I've never just thrown some things in a bag before, so you might have to give me a minute.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Yeah, like an old tent by the side of the highway.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Unfortunately my previous engagements preclude me from offering my beneficence around the motel today.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Um, I'm gonna need a roll of dry-cleaning bags, and some padlocks.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I wouldn't trust Roland with a set of chopsticks, let alone a dead body!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "re the toilet that died in Room 4, the plumber will be here in a few hours. He said he'd be here sooner, but he has another autopsy.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I saw a lot of dead bodies when I was a kid, und I would say that I turned out pretty okay.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Hmm.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Oh my God, was there like a pet massacre, or something? What is with all these sad looking people?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I literally just quit, Ted. Again, quit implies a negative connotation and I'd say that we had a pretty fun time working together.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I got a job here, and I have literally zero interest in animals, so you guys are already like, way ahead.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Huh.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Ding-a-ding.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I'm positively bedeviled with meetings, etc.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "How serendipitous. Thank you, Peter. It's Patrick. Anything else? Nothing else for me, thank you, just the scone. You mean the tea? Why not. Thank you.", "c": ["Moira", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Sorry David, I had nowhere else to turn. It's probably nothing, but I think I've killed a man.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "There's nothing wrong with treating yourself, dear.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I can barely come to terms with the fact that I've resorted to hoarding... sample packets of a basic headache medication, let alone reveal it to the world.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "This is what my life has come to, David, killing a man over a complimentary bolus.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "The courts? Well, know that you've unloaded this on me, what am I, an accomplice?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "David, I came here to be talked off a ledge, not pushed!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Can you imagine this in prison?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Alexis was right, he's a button.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "You're inviting my son to happy hour?", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "And what kind of kid doesn't like rocks?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Maybe he'll even get to take one home. Ooh.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's mandatory.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "but there is a fee for not attending, so you'll be paying for it either way.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "but there is a fee for not attending, so you'll be paying for it either way.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I found it very telling how many people would just accept a cocktail from a total stranger.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I have a date tonight.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "we may uh, you know, need the apartment at some point. Apartment at some point. My God, like for sex.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Thirsty little thing, isn't she.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Um, I liked the guy with the glasses. Me too. Um, or the guy with cystic acne. Either or.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "that, that felt like my first time.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I've kissed like a thousand people but... nobody that I... cared about or... respected... or thought was nice.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "I just need you to say nice person. You're a good person. That's not nice.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "We thought it was festive in a... Scandinavian sort of way.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Well, that makes sense. You're all staying at the motel.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "No, I didn't bring any rocks.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Don't you dare take that for granted. One day you're asking for an anti-inflammatory, the next day you've passed away in your sleep!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Or be implicated in, and then suddenly cleared of someone else's death.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "We're not in Vegas, here.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Dead Guy In Room 4"}, {"t": "Season five Carrie Bradshaw, like, super professional and polished, but also like, chill and flirty in an impossibly expensive sort of way", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "You do know that this is your first day at Elmdale College, and not Vogue, right?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Okay, I think that says more about Jocelyn as a teacher than it does her students", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Yeah, and you're already wearing your little gloves, though", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "This is the same college where Malala gave that devastating commencement speech, right? / I don't know, David, maybe he did", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "It's a pregnancy test. / Ewww! What?!", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Well, it's a smiley face, so I'm assuming it's a positive result. / Well, that's presumptuous", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Oh, are you serious? I was ready to stop after one!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure she already knows it's a mistake!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Yes, I'll tell her she has no right to lay this financial and psychological burden on us!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Now she has to move into one of those homes for unwed mothers! / Oh my God, imagine? / I'm sure there are plenty of them on this side of the tracks. Let the nuns take care of the little stranger!", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "I am not in a place right now to be emotionally available to a baby", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm sorry I'm not a condom", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Because it requires a steady hand, and I'm going through a lot right now", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Yeah, we don't sell that. / Bath salts? / We actually do sell those", "c": ["David", "Customer", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Unclear. Unclear on whether I'm gonna make it through or not", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "You mean, the ones on top of your head? / And there they are", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Well, you've cracked me open", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "To allow an unscheduled conception to occur!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Moira, I'm the one who's pregnant", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Oh Jocelyn, Roland's not the father?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Miracles don't take reservations", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "I knew this was gonna happen! I knew you were gonna get way too involved in this", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "If I don't like it, I'll just give it up, and move on!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "David and I were just in the back doing some inventory. / Yeah. / Hmm, yeah", "c": ["Patrick", "David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "David, did you give me a hickey?! / Okay no, I didn't, I gave you a-a half hickey, because we haven't had the time or the privacy for me to give you a full hickey!", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "If you give me $50 bucks I'll stand outside, and tell people you're on lunch. / I'll give you 50 cents to stand outside and never come back!", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "I'll give you 50 cents to stand outside and never come back!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Well, if you must know, work's been really stressful, so I'm going to take a little me time at a spa in Elmdale", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "And you might want to add a line item for prophylactics", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "So... I'm guessing the quad is just like, on the other side of the building? / The office is in there, make a right. / A 100%", "c": ["Alexis", "Student", "Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Yeah, we couldn't afford in house photography, so we just used stock images. See? Watermark there. This is actually a still from 'Dead Poets Society.'", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Oh, and like, um, an agenda. / Yeah, it's off by a day. So... I wouldn't use it", "c": ["Student", "Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Oh, and like, um, an agenda. / Yeah, it's off by a day. / So... I wouldn't use it.", "c": ["College staff", "College staff", "College staff"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Okay, then I guess I would just like my money back, then. / Again, we don't give refunds", "c": ["Alexis", "Student"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "That's actually how I keep my side hustle going, part time DJ. Here's my card, in case you have any problems, or you wanna go on a date, or something", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Here's my card, in case you have any problems, or you wanna go on a date, or something.", "c": ["College staff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "I noticed the line is a couple inches above where the whiskey starts. / I am stunned by your generosity", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Hey, pony! Are you ready to go?", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Yeah, just galloping around the woods, huh? / Yeah, with your 'pony.'", "c": ["David", "David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "So you offering your apartment had nothing to do with any guilt you felt about harboring a little secret?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Look out!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Besides wanting to keep me as your husband? Am I right, Johnny? / Oh, I need to be a part of this", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Rollie, how are you not getting this? / I'm pregnant!", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "I'm pregnant! We're having a baby. / Twyla, I'm gonna have the bottomless French Onion soup, and maybe you might wanna drop a little calamari on the table", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Roland"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Champagne for everybody, on me! / I can't drink, Rollie. / Oh right, you're driving", "c": ["Roland", "Jocelyn", "Roland"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "I couldn't be happier that this is happening to you and your family!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Given that we only have the apartment for one night. Maybe it's best if we... lock that box back up for now?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "You know what, we didn't even get into your history... / Lock it up, David. Lock it up", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Dad's trying to get me to drop out of college. / No, that's not what was happening! I-I thought we were talking about something else. / What else? / Oh, he thought you were pregnant", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny", "Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "David, Alexis isn't... / No, it's okay. I mean, have your fun now David, because when the twins arrive, I'm gonna really need your help. / Um, that's a hard pass", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "Okay, but just picture them as like, tiny little roommates, whose tiny little poops you get to clean up!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Pregnancy Test"}, {"t": "I had to be both puppet, and puppeteer.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Shoes, Glorious Shoes, the Imelda Marcos Story", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Two Heads are Better. The one woman Siamese twin play.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Okay Moira, I just wanna slap you right across the face. Patty it is! Patty.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "does 'TV's Moira Rose' send a different message than 'television's Moira Rose?'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Well, didn't it have an ensemble cast of 30? Uh huh, and what was your father's review? 29 dead weights!", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "The night Patricia Lupone ate that pre-show shwarma, and I was asked to step in.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "you practicing every day for seven months with that dance instructor that I ended up dating", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Skip Fosse once told me that when it comes to choreo, always leave some room for spontaneity.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "No, you say, 'break a leg.' - Okay, that, too. - Say 'break a leg!' Break a leg!", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "We're going to ease in... with a machine gun ballet.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "there was one that looked meth-y. And I don't know where he went.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "The fact that we have youths minding their own business in front of our store builds... Street cred.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Yes! They're coming in, and they're buying gum. And what else are they doing, David? They're coming in, they're looking around, and they're buying gum. And maybe complimenting my outfits.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "This is so old, and I can't even remember where I got it. Do you guys remember-sorry, where I got this sweater?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "What just happened to you? Like, breathe it out.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Roland, what are you talking about? Well, you are gonna be thanking me pretty soon for saving your bacon, so I just thought I'd give you some gift ideas.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "And I'm sorry, but we all know how Rose Video turned out!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Four teens, one pack of gum, which you gift wrapped.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Four teens, one pack of gum, which you gift wrapped.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "It's the exact same move that I used with my klepto friends in the Hamptons.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Yeah, I mean, maybe that's what you and your burnout friends did at the Miss Sixty store, but that's not what's happening here.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "maybe that's what you and your burnout friends did at the Miss Sixty store", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "if they're not selling it on the black market, then they'll need to come back and get the moisturizer, or their t-zones are going to be like, super effed!", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Johnny, it's me! I'm the guy! I know you're the guy, I got that as soon as I said where's the guy?", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's probably a good idea, I don't wanna commit until I know I like it.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "So I need a machine gun for the machine gun ballet!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "On my wedding day, I thought, what if I just got in my car and drove to New Mexico, and left Roland at the altar at the Elmdale Bingo Hall?", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "I got these at a boutique in Prague that's only open on Sunday nights.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "I got these at a boutique in Prague that's only open on Sunday nights.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "someone with your combination of skin should really be using product with tea tree oil in it", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Don't do it again, and I won't call the Po Po.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Don't do it again, and I won't call the Po Po. - Did she say Po Po?", "c": ["Alexis", "Teen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Well Johnny, how's it going to look to have the mayor of the town changing sheets?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "And Jocelyn had to sell her Beanie Baby collection. And she didn't get half what that Diana bear was worth.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "There is an elephant in the room David, and he's whispering, 'retire!'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "I will eventually need my bed back.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "even though somebody put down a really hefty deposit on a wall of mirrors!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "It's the middle of summer. Brr! It's awfully cold out there.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Um, they used to do this act every year at our Christmas party, and you can't unsee something like this.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "That's television's mom, to you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "nothing is colder than the chill I get when I think of the dangers of asbestos poisoning", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Yes, I said faithful, which rules out all of you!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Asbestos Fest"}, {"t": "Nothing, we merely exchanged familial smiles. He seemed quite taken with an older woman, so I thought best not to intrude.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "They were canoodling in the banquette for all to see, so I'd be rather concerned if that were his mother, David.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "No, no braid. Uh, looked more like thick, healthy hair woven together loosely.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Ok, um, but you're in like a day dress. Mhmm, I am.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Okay, I have never heard someone say so many wrong things, one after the other, consecutively, in a row.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Striking, I believe was the word you used to describe Ted's new girlfriend, who isn't Alexis.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Well to my credit, she was.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Beer fridge reveal and Roland's casual setup", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Joce wanted a little extra space for the new baby, and I thought why not help out a buddy in the process?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Would that staff member be you? Yes, it would. I'm gonna have 'em after lunch.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Oh God... you knock me out, kid.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "I cursed those bears with the little strength that I could muster up.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Well, it's not exactly before work the store opened about 25 minutes ago, so. But yes, there is a chain, and no, you're not on it.", "c": ["Patrick", "Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Well, it's not exactly before work the store opened about 25 minutes ago, so.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "No, they're just new mints that haven't been sampled yet, so for all we know, they could be poison", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "I just wish they had been consulted before they were moved.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Okay, well they were fugly brooms with big red handles. They didn't match our sand and stone colour palette.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "What? Nothing, I just um, just remembering all those times that you compromised. I was just thinking about the same things, because there, there's so many to flip through.", "c": ["Stevie", "Patrick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "You made me pick between two Sandra Bullock vehicles.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Just so that you know, making someone choose between two things that you like, is not exactly a compromise.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "So you guys are just gonna stay behind and talk about me after I've left. You know, swap stories about how I don't compromise.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Yeah, pretty much.", "c": ["Stevie", "Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Always the little philanthrope. Though it's possible this outing might serve you both well.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "A closed book that falls open the second you take it off the shelf.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Gossip is the devil's telephone. Best to just hang up.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Not the movie! This!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "I dunno, maybe it's your dry wit, you know, that never quite hits the target.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Although they could be friends too, I don't know, they could be brothers and friends. Guys, how would you describe your relationship?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "you insist on keeping them hidden away in the back room because you find them offensive.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "They don't allow you to drink and drive anymore.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "If, and when, you meet someone who catches your eye, hold his gaze. Then walk up behind him, trace a single finger down his back.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Hm, that sounds super embarrassing.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "John Cougar... No. Mellencamp. But guess who drove me home that night? Mr. Rose. Yes, you're right.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis", "Twyla"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "John Cougar... No. Mellencamp.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Alexis! You're wrinkled in the back.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "I have just remembered how attentive Roland gets when I am pregnant. He is very hands on, very concerned, and he is just always... there.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Wow! I just upgraded my wand! Two more levels and I'll have enough opals to buy the harp.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Alone time, Johnny. I just need some alone time.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Your mom's trick totally worked. I ran my finger down the backs of three different guys, and one of them turned around.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Just joking, you've got Ted's voicemail. Don't you hate it when people do that? Me too, and yet I just did it.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Like Beyonce, I excel as a solo artist, and I was also dressed by my mother well into my teens, okay?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "These mountaineering shoes that my boyfriend is wearing, looking like Oprah on a Thanksgiving Day hike, incorrect.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "I think it was something about your boyfriend's shoes? Um... I don't remember saying that.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "My boyfriend doesn't like the shoes, so I'm gonna take the shoes off.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "sock feet in a public place is also incorrect.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Bored, so I found a lovely little speakeasy at the back of the club.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "there was a reason I drew Mr. Cougar Mellencamp into that dark corner of the bar instead of your father.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "It took a year. A year? But if it's meant to be, they'll come around!", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "I'm driving? That's a good idea!", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Girls Night"}, {"t": "Well they're not from me, Moira. 'Sorry for your loss. She was really something.'", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Ew. Who was something?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Um, well it doesn't help that Alexis just tweeted 'Goodbye to a great actress,' with a cool sunglasses emoji.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Ok, I'm wearing sunglasses because I'm in mourning, David.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "so fresh, and young, and permed.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "It's not even trending, which is actually kind of sad.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "That's what you think is sad?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Who sends pink carnations?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Boy, it's strange, I can almost still smell her perfume.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "sometimes I wear Jocelyn's robe when she's outta town.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "I want you to be the godfather to my child.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Yeah... but are we?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "And again you know, my thing with ghosts? But she didn't seem angry like the other ones.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "The most projected nominee to have never actually been nominated.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Shh. Fear not. She hath risen!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "what do we think we'd be saying right now?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Uh, she always kept things interesting. / Or uh... heaven just got its newest leading lady.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Or uh... heaven just got its newest leading lady.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "We make a very good team, David. You do the talking, and I sample the merchandise.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "They were Mennonites, and I would put the peanut butter square down", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Nom nom for us, David. / Never say nom nom, again.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "She's 42, and I know!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Stop it, David, I'm not a baby.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "It's not an offer, Johnny, it's an offer you can't refuse.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "No, from Casino. / Okay, fine. It wasn't Casino, Brando wasn't in Casino", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Our house inspector said that our furnace could go any day. Oh, and I'm thinking of getting Joce his-and-hers cliff diving lessons for her birthday.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "And the usual fried chicken on a waffle, extra skin.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Roland choking and saying he's okay", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "I'll give you a bite you can't refuse.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Do you wanna have a bite? I'll give you a bite you can't refuse.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Oh, I do. She is an intern.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Fun. Mm hmm. Must be very helpful for you. How's that going?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Super generic and trill.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Oh. No, people have told me that I just have like, one of those voices. Super generic and trill.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "normally I don't like blue cheese in my mouth, but that was very... not bad.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Get in the car!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Get in the car! Not an imposition at all.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Impeccably dressed woman wanders out of Podunk motel. No, that's not the headline!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "This is not, not how I imagined my resurrection news to break!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "It would kill Sir Tony Geary.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "But if you've ever had her quiche, you can definitely say that it is eggs-cellent.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Yes! Well, I mean, like technically I had more responsibility than just answering the phones but...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Yes, definitely not a War Vet. Damn these fallen arches.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "The quiche is vivacious, and that is not a word I use to describe quiche often, but you know, when the time is right.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "I know that David is looking for exclusivity on your products. / Ooh, she is good.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "There was a charismatic leader, 40 something, very sexual, had very long hair, longer than you'd expect, but it worked.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Truth serum. Oh Stevie, yes, those stories are always successful.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Roland asked if you wanted to be godfather to the baby. Yes! He has been asking everybody to be the godparent. You're the 3rd person I've had to talk to today, so.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Roland asked if you wanted to be godfather to the baby. / Yes! / He has been asking everybody to be the godparent. You're the 3rd person I've had to talk to today, so.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Well if you like, we could um, move you up the list?", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, let's face it, your first 2 were no walk in the park, right.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "I'm just glad Ted's found someone so stable and healthy.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "You're in love with him, aren't you? / Yes. Yup.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Um, you know that YouTube video of the giraffe and the kitten who are best friends? Okay, well the giraffe stepped on the kitten.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Well, of course he did.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "you have years ahead of you still to collect a cartage of adoring mourners.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "John, they're perishable. And excuse me, but this is the first time we've heard from most of these people. These gifts are long overdue.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "'K, Kelly Ripa just tweeted, she's taking tomorrow off. Hashtag RIP Cuppy is trending.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "Honestly, what kind of kitten befriends a giraffe?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Rip Moira Rose"}, {"t": "I used a guy this weekend. Yeah, Gwen locked me out. By accident.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Your wife's pregnant in her 40's. How many surprises do you need?", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "It's either my birthday, or Gloria Estefan's.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Mucho Dias, mes amis.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Okay, turns out it's Gloria's, September 1, 57.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Who put a picture of a ghost on my desk?", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Roland, why should I be the only one encumbered with this emotional cargo?", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "might you and I confabulate for a moment in the back room?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "No, Moira, I'm not falling for that one.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "I assure you it's a salacious bit of Council-related news.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Maybe the storm warning was for yesterday.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Okay, I don't have all the answers.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Or, hey, just like a way. Just one way to engage with the community.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Yes! It was opening day, and there was booze. And people are drunks.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "I am open to suggestions.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Oh god. The occasional improve troupe would stop by. I'm um... I'm feeling kind of ill.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Okay, no, worst case scenario, I watch improv.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "They're just a placebo effect for people who feel the need to complain.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Those cards are written by embittered people with way too much time on their hands. A lot of these are from Mom.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "it's just like a cartoon of a construction worker holding a sign that says 'we'll be right back'.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "I had strep at the time.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "the woman's voice was aggressive and off-putting. / I had strep at the time.", "c": ["Alexis", "Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Um, I actually prefer to be called a freelance brand invigorator.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "That's great, because Step 1 of the plan was this presentation, and we nailed it.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "his great-great-great great-grandmother accurately guessed the sex of her daughter's baby, and then was put on trial for witchcraft", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Toil and trouble.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Is it a girl? Valiant attempt, Jocelyn.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Stupid witch!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "This is called an acoustic guitar.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "I mean, if you are, confident, to put yourself and our relationship at risk like that, then I am... 87% behind you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Or more importantly, do I wear anything under it?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "What the fuck does that mean?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Okay now, three more steps to your left.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Pretty country girl who doesn't care about big city things like... dressing well, or how she looks.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Stevie's Place sounds like a shelter for battered men.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "call it the Budd Inn. And now that I'm saying that out loud, obviously we're not gonna do that.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Don't take it personally, Mr. Rose, it's probably because you didn't know what to do with your hands. Or maybe it's because your face looked like it tasted something sour.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "All of a sudden, expected attention has me doubting what I saw. I barely glanced at that paper.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "You told me to keep it a secret, and that's exactly what I did, even from myself.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Well, the sticky note, I believe, is also in the safe.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Well that, I will admit, is my blunder.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "You're probably thinking like, oh, is my foundation off by a shade? Am I wearing the wrong top? And the bottom line is, maybe.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "the more likely you are to take off, and then I will be left here stuck with way more responsibility than I ever asked for.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Johnny's looking half-normal.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Okay, this was not my idea.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "You'll let me know if I should pull the fire alarm?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "A boy, I believe I told you that.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Why isn't it just Rose Motel? The Rosebud makes it a sad stunted thing.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Okay, well that would just look insane.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "not to brag, but this re-brand got me 77% on my final marketing exam.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Enough, David.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Open Mic"}, {"t": "Ew. What are you all doing here?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Judging from the looks on your faces, I don't want it.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Why would Patrick do that? / That was my first thought.", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Four whole months, David. / How 'bout that?", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "I had a... very intimate connection with Tony, for several years. / She was your pen pal, David. / She was in a penitentiary, dear.", "c": ["David", "Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Okay, first of all, no one's sharing the cookie.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "which is why I would rather not subject him to eating charred meat with this group of carnies.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Carnies are people too.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Perhaps it's this nay-saying reticence that caused your past relationships to... Fall apart. / ... oxidize. / Oxidize.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Oh yeah, it's soft.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "First of all, a cookie is always a big deal, especially when that cookie just alerted my entire family to the fact that this is officially the longest relationship I've ever had.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "If we throw a... if we throw a renaissance fair every month, I just feel like we might be tempting fate.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "The last time I heard that, I was dating a birthday clown who painted my face in the night, and was literally never seen from again.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Okay, first of all, let it be known that supporting Julia Stiles is never going overboard.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "He was never found. / Probably dead.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "So David's at work and you had nobody else to talk to? / What? / That's...", "c": ["Stevie", "Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "It's a tactic, Stevie. You send someone a random text message to get their attention, and then the next thing you know, you're talking again.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "This is why I choose not to be in a relationship.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "I used to text Zac Efron just like a question mark whenever I wanted a booty call. Poor thing would be like buzzing my apartment before I even pressed send.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "You're like super smart, and pretty in like a... breezy, non-threatening sort of way.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "No, I'm sorry, I just had an image of you cooking.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Do you know that I've been given three different aprons because of my barbecue skills? Let's see, I've got License to Grill, I've got Working Grill, oh and I have Grills Just Wanna Have Fun.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "I've got the perfect apron for ya, Poor Little Rich Grill. / I'll get it made up.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "When you said that you were coming back, you just meant that you weren't coming back, and that I would have to spend the afternoon searching for you on the train tracks, and among various unmarked vans.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "No, but there was a moment when I thought about doing it.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "I must've been... Dracula, or a spin instructor.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "I must've been... Dracula, or a spin instructor.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Well, hopefully not all that I am, I mean that would be...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Well, hopefully not all that I am, I mean that would be...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "No, I draw the line at sing-along.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "I'm also glad I did. It's good to see you. It's also good to see you.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Hello dummy, why do you think I'm here?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Where are we, Barcelona?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Cut to, I've ruined my sliders! / Cut to, how does this thing work?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Okay, just so you know, that's not really a compliment, but thank you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "I assumed that, based on your face, and... body.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "No, John, no, we're not doing Pat.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Okay, please never say titillating when referring to my relationship. / Oh, can I though? / No.", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Uh, I'm sorry you have a fianc\u00e9e?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "I glanced down at my plate for two seconds.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "That is quite possibly one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard anyone say. Um... outside of the 'Downton Christmas Special'.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "More than one, um, and some potato salad, and I think there were some other sides on the table, but I couldn't see, so maybe just a smattering of everything.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Well, I don't know, he had 6 sliders. I'm assuming he'll be falling asleep soon.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "but at the same time, he's been watching that show for 3 hours and my phone's in there.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Barbecue"}, {"t": "Um, Alexis, do you mind telling your phone to fuck off?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "What's bumpkin? / It's an online social hub for rural singles", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Research. I was testing the water for her, David. Poor thing's clueless.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Why is he shirtless with an armful of puppies? / His nipples are out.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I remember that summer you dated all 3 Hanson brothers.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I no longer need backstage passes to the Teen Choice Awards.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "He's the only attractive person on here, David, what did you want me to do?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "It's Bumpkin with a wink emoji.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "What did he say? - Sup? - Okay.", "c": ["David", "Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "It's starting to remind me of Rose Video, when your work consumed you, and I would miss you so. Except now I don't have the jet and the free DVD's to distract me.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "It's basically the only service we provide.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Yap, yap, yap, do, re, mi. A lip buzzing 'til I'm blue in the face!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "this will mark the 3rd time you stood me up this week, John.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I know, I'm scaring even me.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Because you're having boyfriend issues, and this is my reluctant attempt at being supportive.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I also have a Groupon, which I was planning on using with Jake, but I thought you might need it more", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "You're a monster.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "It's just that there are like ten guys on here, and three of them are Ray.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "\u266a Fat spatula \u266a", "c": ["Jazzagals"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "so I delegated the rest of the cleaning to Roland.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Sweet gesture, but was that wise? / No offense, Jocelyn. / I was gonna ask him the same thing.", "c": ["Moira", "Moira", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "If that doesn't scream romance.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "There was a time when this dusky charmer used to constantly whisk me off to ports unknown.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Oh, my husband, the portrait of self-effacement.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "\u266a impo-o-o-ose \u266a", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Somebody just nailed their audition.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I've got perfect pitch, so do not mess this up for me.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Mhmm. So, Jake and his little pony are goin' on dates and having sexy honeymoon weekends?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "So you're in love then. You're like falling in love with Jake.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "He's just... really good at celebrating my body.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Um, it's just like a lot of emotional triggers.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Okay I'm not playing into your fraudulent behaviour. / You still want the free booze, right? / Gimme the ring.", "c": ["David", "Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I didn't recognize you without your nipples. / The puppies... the um, the cute little puppies that you love to photograph yourself with.", "c": ["Alexis", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Brought the nipples. / Not about the nipples, um, about the puppies.", "c": ["Miguel", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I believe it's called Zhampagne, it's from the very famous Zhampagne region of France.", "c": ["Miguel"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I just like making careful choices. / Yes. To that.", "c": ["Alexis", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "We just love honeymooners here at Crystal Elms.", "c": ["Bobbie"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I just worry that if we don't put the hats on, that the other guests will inevitably force us to.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "This is from a Patrick. Says, 'have fun, enjoy the night. Thinking about you.'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "They are chicken, not actual lovebirds.", "c": ["Bobbie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "you learn pretty quickly when you're in a Ugandan diamond smuggler's villa playing for your friend's freedom.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I changed my shirt 3 times for tonight and uh, I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't be giving that all away.", "c": ["Miguel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "No, yeah, I know it wasn't that. Um, you're gonna think this is so random, but it was actually about something else.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Executive Assistant. And yes, but only for like a minute. But you guys were engaged? Um, very briefly. And just twice.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Okay look, there is nobody who wants to see Ted fail more than I do, professionally speaking. Personally, I feel like this is off limits.", "c": ["Miguel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Okay, just to be clear, I couldn't do this first.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I know that we are the Jazzagals, but it was pretty great to have a Jazza-guy in our midst today.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "these rehearsals have become a tiny oasis in the echo-y canyon that I now call my social life.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "My nightly sleeps, afternoon naps, and of course meals with my husband.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "There are only so many ways I can feign amusement at Ronnie's comedia Del commode.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I guess I just thought the deeper we got into his past, the deeper we'd have to get into mine. And, historically speaking, the more I revealed of myself, the less interested people got.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "I think you're my best friend. / You think? / Well, I can't know for sure, because I'm realizing now that I don't think I've ever really had one.", "c": ["David", "Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Okay, well, if we're being honest, I don't think I've ever had one, either.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "This would be a really sweet moment, if what we had just admitted to each other wasn't so sad.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "When you were in the bathroom, I finished the rest of the lover's curry.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Uh-uh, that's not what that means.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Looking for a hook-up. / Well, that sounds promising, Alexis, he's open for hooking up for dinner, or drinks. / Uh-uh, that's not what that means.", "c": ["Moira", "Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "Oh my wives. / All right, which way do you swipe to get rid of this one? / you've just Bumpkined with Jebediah.", "c": ["Moira", "Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "How did Ray get such a beautiful bathroom?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Jazzaguy"}, {"t": "And, there she is! Hot off the presses! Alexis Rose. Why is there a line through it? Oh, toner must be low.", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "This certificate reminds me of the one you were awarded for getting your braces off. Now that was a grand day.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Yes, except my orthodontist had a slightly better printer.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, did David spend four months earning a degree?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Pubic relations. - What? - No. - Oh my god, give me that!", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Is it though, do you think?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "So you're wearing a leather sweater, in the dead of summer.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Okay, I just wanted to make sure that I was ready, ready.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "So you waiting a full week to forgive him has nothing to do with the fact that he showered you with gifts and attention every day. That is purely coincidental!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Yeah, I think it's that, uh, and I think it's the fact that you've been a smidge needy this past week? - Hmm. - Maybe needy's the wrong word. - Hmm. - Clingy?", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "And I am very excited to not, not be with him anymore.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "That said, if a package does arrive, please keep it safe.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "And what, pray tell, might this collection of words be?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Wow! Now, don't get me wrong, there is no High-Street beret that I would rather have thrown in my ring, but, I have a funny feeling Council already has its favourite.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Darling, I realize the pickings are slim in this rural spanandry, but you can't ask Council to misuse public funds just so that you can find yourself a new boy toy.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "As the Irish like to say, it's a cinch to mash the Murphy where there's love.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Well, this is the second month. I won it last month, took myself out for lunch.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I'm kidding. It's a little incentive for a job well done.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "It's like a briefcase full of makeup.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Aren't you forgetting something? - Uh, I just... just don't know how to thank you. - Oh, that smile on your face is all I need.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "In fact, by saying nothing at all, you... you spoke volumes.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "After a glud of unasinous ideas put forth today, the room is suddenly bombilating with anticipation.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "good luck on getting your mitts on a Von Schlegell! Am I right, guys?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Now, if an idea as simple as that can work for a people as infamously disorganized as the Scotch, surely we can aspire to something of equal scale.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Single people is what this town needs! Loose wallets, loose inhibitions, everything's just really loose.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "And a few pages of temporary letterhead. And um, a list of Buzzfeed's most motivational quotes for girl bosses under 30.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Did someone mention the posture thing? - What? - What is the utility shirts?", "c": ["Stevie", "Alexis"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Like he built David a basketball court for his Bar Mitzvah. - Oh boy, okay. - Mm hmm. And unfortunately, the only way to like, train it out of him, is to show him just how wrong the gift is.", "c": ["Alexis", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Like, David forced us to watch him shoot at a basket for 10 minutes, until the ball hit the rim, and then bounced back in his face.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "But it actually worked out perfectly, because all David really wanted for his Bar Mitzvah, was a nose job.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Oh, and also, he gave me a diamond tennis bracelet for my Sweet 16. - That's bad. - I know.", "c": ["Alexis", "Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I've never been in this situation before. Where someone's been so nice... to me. And generous.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "So upset, that I barely finished the chocolates.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I just, I guess, didn't know, how many olive branches you were planning on extending. - Ideally, one!", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I was lying about the chocolates, I ate them all.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Um, while you're at lunch, can you get me some lunch?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "You know what the great thing about this is? Right after work, I can do go a quick shift over at Bazonga's Gentleman's Lounge.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I'm getting flashbacks of David attempting a 3-pointer.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Sorry, so like, a singles event, then? - That word is now considered derogatory. I believe they prefer to be called independents.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "So you stole my idea, took it to Council, and claimed it as your own? - Alexis, now is not the time for pettifogging!", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Well then, I took your little germ of an idea, and I fertilized it to fruition.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Starting to get keyed up about this prospect of a mother-daughter power team. Modern day Judy and Lorna.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I don't know who that is. - Oh my god.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Consider this my olive branch.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "You know people can see you, right?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Well, I lit a patchouli candle, so hopefully it'll... calm your chi.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Somebody decided to do a synchronized swimming routine at 2am.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Something to do with her husband's heart. - Oh, well, hope it clears itself up. - Yeah, well, it won't. That's the problem. - Well, you never know. - Well, I do.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Sounds very dark.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Roland's been trying to help me, offered off his movie posters, you know, but I just don't think that 'The Pelican Brief' is festive enough for a baby shower.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Yeah, I mean, somebody like you, or you.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "What just happened?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Okay um, but wouldn't it make more sense to offer a discount for people not dining alone?", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "A 2-for-1 discount for 2 singles eating together. That's it, that's the winner. Yay!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Oh my god, what are you doing here? - Oh. - Okay, so... me, Albany, Jitney, and Candy, we just needed to get away from the city for a bit, and so Vice put out this guide to the most random cities in North America, and we were like, lets him 'em.", "c": ["Alexis", "Klaire"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "This is where you live, isn't it? I'm so sorry I didn't put that together, it's like I completely forgot about you.", "c": ["Klaire"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Oh my god, I'm obsessed with your look. You look just like a small-town waitress! Beep!", "c": ["Klaire"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Actually you know what I would love like a hot water, but if you could just let it sit so it cools, I just need to know that it was once hot. Sorry, I'm the worst.", "c": ["Klaire"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Albany literally makes me wanna kill myself.", "c": ["Klaire"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Sweetie, no, I didn't order that.", "c": ["Klaire"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "See you tonight, babe. See you tonight, babe. Hm. Hm.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Mature Adults Dating Lovers, Yes!", "c": ["Ricki"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Well, we could peek in on the experience like group voyeurs, but it would be much more educational for both of you if you would let me immerse you in it.", "c": ["Ricki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Well, lucky for us, this lock has already found its key. - You'd be surprised. - Would I?", "c": ["Johnny", "Ricki"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "I just have to ask, before the event, will you grant me access to your most intimate sounds? - No. But we'll play the game.", "c": ["Ricki", "Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Well, um, Jocelyn came in here this morning looking like Adam Sandler on a red carpet.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Well, typically the person who throws the shower, pays for the shower. - Well, that wasn't part of the agreement. - Well, what did you say to her? - I told her I'd take care of it. - Ah!", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Oh, so it's more of a sprinkle, then. - What the hell is a sprinkle? - No, it's like a shower, but for your second kid. It's not a full shower, it's like a sprinkle.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "That is the stupidest (bleep) thing I have ever heard.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, she's one person, and everyone knows you don't plan a whole party around one person. - Maybe you do, if the party is for her. - Says who?", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "This is why I hate babies!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "So it would be you, and my dad's ex-wife. But don't worry about her, she's two years younger than us, and like super chill.", "c": ["Klaire"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Hey, pack your bags, bitch! You're getting' out!", "c": ["Klaire"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "I know you're gonna find this hard to believe, but she predicted that I would meet a woman with shoulder-length blonde hair, and red lipstick. - Telepathic, was she? - And tremendously specific!", "c": ["Dating participant", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll spend the night sometime. At the motel, I mean. - Oh, oh, oh.", "c": ["Charlene", "Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "I thought I would what I could to get a jumpstart on the decorations.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Maybe to the garbage?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, is that supposed to be a baby? - Yeah, it's pretty realistic, isn't it? I got it at the dollar store in Elmdale. I didn't even have to pay for it, honey. They just gave it to me.", "c": ["David", "Roland"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Yeah, don't think we can smash a baby with a stick tonight, but...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Gonna stop you right there. I will literally do anything for us to not play that game.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Oh my gosh, it is so fun! We played it at Mutt's baby shower! Basically, you melt different chocolate bars into different diapers, and then people take turns guessing...", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "I am ready.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Uh, no, that there is grandpa's ashes, and no, you cannot move it, it's bolted down. There's been a lot of urn thefts lately.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Where do I put this (bleep) thing?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "I work in ad sales and can drive at night.", "c": ["Rene"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "I know that sounds like an odd thing to mention, but it does separate me from the crowd.", "c": ["Rene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Yes, we have, but here, locks sadly are defective.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Often times in these situations, I ask a participant to go within, and to reflect why she might be having trouble connecting.", "c": ["Ricki"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Now mommy's had a very hard day with baby, and needs a bit of a break. And that's where we come in. We're each gonna take turns popping pills into mommy's mouth.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Now unfortunately, these are breath mints, we couldn't afford actual benzo's", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "You invented it. We played it a lot growing up. - Oh! I can't remember playing. - That's because we got very good at it.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.81, "im": 9.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "I remember Alexis got one in from across the room once.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, reset. What are we talking about?", "c": ["Klaire"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Breaking news, we still (bleep) hate her.", "c": ["Klaire"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Baby Sprinkle"}, {"t": "Um, who taught you rollout? - May have been me. Sorry.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Okay, you really need to stop saying rollout.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Well I can't pull the account, because it's part of the rollout.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "So, I may be looking elsewhere when it comes time for the pop-out store.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Okay. He meant pop-up store, right? Honestly, David, it took him like 2 weeks to learn rollout, so...", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "it's kinda hard to guarantee fun.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "That's actually a he, and I think he might already be spoken for?", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Hmm. Wow, love that for her.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Oh, Theodore, back for another meeting of the animals, I see.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "You know you two are lovely little freaks. In this digital day of discontented disconnection, you two still manage to do things face-to-face, like people from before your time.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Safe to say our animal-loving singles will be well placated.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "That nudnick at the curling rink just informed me that they'll no longer be able to accommodate our Lover's Messy Sloppy Joe Eat-a-Thon.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "N... alas! Your co-chair will be busy getting herself out of jury duty today.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Alexis, you know me, I'm not one to overstep, But, perhaps you might be able to strike a few more to-do's off that list if you and Ted spend a little less time fussing over this canine auction.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "It's a puppy adoption, and we're done. Planning. So, thank you.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Uh I know it's for the guests, but it's like really good stuff, and this is extra.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Nothing, just rolling things out, like you asked me to.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "I don't know, okay! It might be causing the rash, but it's also the only thing that's making it feel better.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "This is the last thing we need in the middle of a rollout!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "I, of course, am your co-chair, Alexis Rose.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Oh well, I uh, I don't know if you heard, but I'm gonna have a little brother soon, so yeah, I couldn't miss that.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "It didn't slip my mind, I just like, didn't go.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Yeah, a nice little home for a family of raccoons. I had to evict them, though, and they didn't go quietly.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "I won't turn down the help, but you don't have to worry about the plants, they are very, very dead.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Mutt, you're making me feel partially responsible.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Oh no, I've been waiting for this moment. Apparently, if they call your number, you get to stand in front of a judge! I feel like I'm on 'The Voice'!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Jocelyn, you're about to witness a master class in judicatory persuasion.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "No one at the counter! Who runs a business like this? Anyone could just walk in here and shoplift.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "I look like the Phantom of the Opera!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "You realize you're gonna have to talk to Patrick and tell him that you two are gonna have to take a bit of a breather when it... comes to... - Ew! - You know, could be contagious.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "And here you were this morning, acting like you were doing us a favour with the rollout.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Well, we're gonna have to roll it back in.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "I totally thought she was like, the one for you.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "She's married to Moonshine now, the owner of the cone farm.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Compass broke halfway there, we ended up following a star for 2 days.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "That day I picked 700 cones! Well, Moonshine and his daughter, Petal, said it was the biggest one-day haul they'd ever seen. They gave me the Cone of Achievement, which allowed me to take 2 showers that week.", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "I can crack open a bottle of cone wine? Feeling risky?", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "I gotta tell you two, this timesheet you have is really complicated. By the time I finished filling it out, I was already into overtime. So do you guys have an overtime sheet I can fill out?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Well, boy, leave it to Stevie to get a rash from a moisturizer when she's sitting right next to poison oak.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Uh, correct me if I'm wrong here, Johnny, but I don't think poison oak is that expensive.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Well, there was that summer that Jimmy Smits stole my heart on stage in a workshop-only production of 'An Officer and a Gentleman'. I suppose that might be called emotional embezzlement?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "The fact that my own world was ripped out from under me, by someone like this prick of a prestidigitator? I should think would help the court in the quest to make a fair judgment.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Mother (bleep). This is the farthest I've ever gone!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Mother (bleep). This is the farthest I've ever gone!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Makes you wonder if it's us?", "c": ["Mutt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Okay, bye.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "My skin is normally fresh, and dewy, and blemish-free.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Well, does the vendor have a sense of humor, because this is a good one!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Remember the conversation we were having this morning about you know, the rash? Well, it turns out it wasn't the moisturizer, it was poison oak.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "I'm sorry for touching my nose to a flower!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "I just went all Gordon Ramsey on one of my most important vendors! I basically told her, her product was like a jar of Ebola!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Yeah, I was just giving them a little pup talk.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Oh, I just assumed that's how you always work.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Um, but maybe I could take a puppy home for the night. You know I can't let you do that. Yeah, no. That's no problem.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "Um, I was just thinking if there was like, a particularly runty one, like Cindy, or like, no, no. That's okay.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Rollout"}, {"t": "I just overheard three women with smokers' coughs talking about 'Sex in the City'. The singles have arrived!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "I think it would be a tad d\u00e9class\u00e9 for the chair of the event to be wearing a Volunteers t-shirt", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "I appreciate everything you do, Alexis, but I think it's best I carry the baton over the goal line", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "The Teenage Rosacea Ball at the St. Regis?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Um, I just walked past three very raspy-voiced Miranda's outside", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Roland's phone. Hey, Bob. Roland, hang up. Yeah, uh, Johnny's tellin' me I gotta hang up. Yes, they're both here, staring at me. Johnny has that upset look on his face", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "That's the perfect way to describe it, Bob", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "How 'bout a car wash? Or maybe a brow trim for Johnny?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "You been goin' to the gym, 'cause that looked effortless?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "It's just a very awkwardly shaped box, but yes I have, and thank you for noticing", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "The whole situation with Alexis and Ted right now is very awkward and cringe-y. Alexis told him she loved him", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "I just think it'll be less awkward for all of us, especially considering Ted now knows that I know, that he knows, if you maybe took the box", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Okay, so... so you just said that to me for the first time, knowing that it would make my day more stressful. That's correct", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Because you know that I've never said that to anyone else, aside from my parents twice, and one time at a... Mariah Carey concert", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "You're my Mariah Carey", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "David awkwardly carrying the box out while asking Patrick not to look", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "That went well", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Jocelyn is in labor!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Oh! Don't start without me you little frippit. You don't have the media training", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Wait, Jocelyn's driving? Yes, Alexis! She insisted! My nerves are fried!", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. I think that's Roland's phone", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Roland, it's happening. And then baby. And then, like a whole row of baby emojis, and an explosion", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "I didn't. You're the one who put his phone on silent. Because you didn't know how to", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "It's always gifts for the dogs, and never for me. Definitely one of my pet peeves", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Um... no, your game is... tight", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Yes. No, that is an emotional depth that is very, very out of character for her", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "I broke up with Heather", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "So I should probably stay, then, for a minute?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Hey, singles, I'm Alexis Rose, and I, like all of you, am single", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Now, I used to think that my one special lock needed to be like super aggressive, and come from a long line of Adriatic royalty", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "or have a beard, and be really into the woods", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "So instead of actually giving it a real chance, you throw it away because it was too nice", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "So, are we playing a game, or not?", "c": ["Singles event attendee"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Oh, hold on, Gwen, uh, Roland just pulled in, and hammer's about to drop.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Roland, Jocelyn's in labor. What? Wh-when did she, why didn't she call me? I gotta call her. I need my phone. I can't... Where's my phone? I can't find my phone?", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Is a little harsh, but he's definitely slippery, I'll give ya that. I'm standing right here, Bob", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "You know how many off-road dirt bike tours I had to take, just to get her outta my head? Shockingly, never been on a dirt bike. Um... But I'm sure like a lot-a lot... A lot of tours, David", "c": ["Ted", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "I've been burned so many times, I'm basically the human equivalent of the inside of a roasted marshmallow", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "That's a dog treat? Looks like a real treat. What am I gonna do now?", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "I have watched your daughter, over the last couple of years, grow into one of the most amazing people I've ever known. She is a hard worker, she is kind, and she is capable of so much more than people give her credit for", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "There she is! Okay, I found it! Third time's a charm! Rolie, you made it! You may step down, ma'am, I thank you for your service", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Oh, if the drugs are any good, you will", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Well, David, I gotta hand it to you. We've already sold half of our massage oils. It's like you're an oracle when it comes to the sex lives of lonely people.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "I love you", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "I know I'll never be able to compete with Mariah", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "No, I am making this perfect moment, perfect.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Um, actually you may not be able to tell by the way those two are gazing into each other's eyes, they actual work for rival newspapers", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Um, actually you may not be able to tell by the way those two are gazing into each other's eyes, they actual work for rival newspapers.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Seems there's a lot more of me in you, than I give you credit for. Lucky me", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Oh, what a handsome guy. He looks just like me. And yet, he's handsome.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "So, we'd like you to say hello to Roland Moira Schitt", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Wow, that's... the name is really something, isn't it? And an honor I dream not of!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Look at that, the two Moira's. Take him, John, my hands are shaking", "c": ["Roland", "Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Singles Week"}, {"t": "Wake me when it's over.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Less shock, deeper depression.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "caroling in front of mom's wig wall?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Or the reindeer room.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "unfortunately, Ted and I will be unable to attend", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "everything on my list requires pre-order", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "somebody needs to find the menorah", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I'm a delightful half-half situation", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "It's like the 12 Days of Christmas, but it's 1 day with 12 bottles of wine.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I'd burned that bridge in Ibiza", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Wow. So, what time is the Ghost of Christmas Past coming to visit you tonight?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Ooh, burn, David!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Nana Bud worked real hard for those.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Do you have time to mood-board a color scheme? - Does anyone? - No.", "c": ["David", "Patrick", "Stevie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Look at you in that flouncy apron, you little Christmas Elf!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I'm gonna take that as a compliment, even though everything inside me's telling me that it's not.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "But instead of cookies, it was whatever we could find in our parents' medicine cabinets, and instead of a Christmas party, it was an old boot factory in Krakow.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Well, I, I did get up at the Krak-ow dawn", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "they have all agreed to give you one last chance... one... more... final chance.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "What if I missed chest and back day?", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "your cool, scary, judgy friends", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "that's just 72 more cookies to make, then.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "And the protestors, shouting at the flatbed truck as it made its way through our front gates.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "What you're smelling is actually our holiday-scented car ornaments. They can be used in the car, or on your tree. Sold separately, of course.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, by special, I meant higher price, because of demand.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "2 gestures for $175.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "It depends, are we talking emotionally?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I hear Peter Fundraiser. Bogdanovich loved a mink.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Oh, straight as an arrow.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Perhaps a Christmas gourd.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "That was me getting on board.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "That was me getting on board.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Nanna Bud worked real hard for those.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "An... espresso machine. - You're selling coffee now? - Hmm... it's more for the staff room.", "c": ["David", "Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "You're not helping, Moira.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Making it? I thought you wanted me to handle it? Like, work the door, make sure nobody gets in that isn't on the list!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Who's going out crashing other people's Christmas parties?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "You didn't tell him? - Oh, my god. - Okay, I hate this!", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "everyone low-key hates me. - Uh, hate is a strong word.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "the Jerry beads", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I, for one, find it charming, in sort of a... a war-torn sort of way.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Looks like the other side has been charred, or something.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Why don't we just cut it up for firewood?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Why don't we just cut it up for firewood?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "It's meatloaf night at the cafe, and if anything is screaming Christmas to me right now, it's meatloaf.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "meatloaf night was yesterday. - Dear God, I...", "c": ["Twyla", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Literally, Alexis and Stavros are on his father's yacht by now. Off to Capri.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "David, last I heard he was screaming at Wolfgang. Apparently there weren't enough capers on the smoked salmon crudites.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Oh don't worry, I already gave them their checks.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I've already taken my Christmas pills, and bitter experience has taught me I have just 8 minutes to make it safely up the stairs.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I could've sworn it was Wednesdays. - It's always been Tuesdays.", "c": ["Johnny", "Twyla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "And yet, here you are, eating yesterday's meatloaf.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "it can, at times, be quite peaceful. - Well, it wasn't too peaceful this afternoon, I'm sorry to say.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "It appears there's been a Christmas miracle, John.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "We have spent a very long time gluing it back together. Scary amount of super glue. Seriously, nobody should light a match in here.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Seriously, nobody should light a match in here.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "You know I hate to miss a good party.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Ted's vet friends are coming by later, and I have a sneaking suspicion they're a little bit...", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "You still thinking about that espresso machine, aren't ya? - Yes. Yes, I am.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I'd appreciate my invitation about a week in advance, okay? - Well, if I have things my way, we'll be making this an annual tradition, so you can save the date now. - No, that's way too far in advance, I can't make that kinda commitment.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "I can't make that kinda commitment.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Oh, Jocelyn, surely the dentures have been dropped in the glass by now.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "What, it's just nice. Nothing's happening. - Looks like you're crying. - Oh well, I'm not. It's just we're... - We ran out of red!", "c": ["Johnny", "David", "Johnny", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "We ran out of red!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "A bomb? - No, it's an antique tin. - For your wig pins.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny", "Johnny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Smaller, smaller, smaller.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Stickers! - Of old men! - No, they're stamps, from all over the world.", "c": ["Alexis", "Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "It's like being right back in Japan.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Last thing we want is to have the motel burn down. - Or is it?", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Olive Branch"}, {"t": "Kids! Your mother's on the phone, and it's her first day on set, so let's all make sure we keep her spirits high, okay?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira mentions shooting next to a baklava factory", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "She-she's not my mother. - Who are those voices? - Uh, your children!", "c": ["Stevie", "Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Oh Alexis, do you have strep again? - That was David!", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David! Oh, David, how's the store? Any new customers, or is it still friendless?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Alexis points out 'She already hung up' when Johnny says goodbye", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Alexis says 'Oh! Burn, Dad!' followed by David's 'Oh my God that's so embarrassing, you must feel ridiculous'", "c": ["Alexis", "David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Your natural deodorant isn't working.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Stevie reveals David's poor score on relationship quiz from M'Lady Magazine 1991", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David corrects 'it's Major Lady Magazine' with wounded dignity", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Stevie observes David took the quiz multiple times despite calling it garbage", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David's comeback: 'You're dating a vet who irons his polo shirts'", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Alexis counters with 'Ted and I got Electrical Storm. So.'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David asks 'Did you plug your hairdryer in with wet hands again?'", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Alexis defensively responds 'that happened twice David, let it go'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David's response to 'adventure dates': 'sound like something a marriage counselor would proscribe as a last resort'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David's dismissive 'It's merchandising day, actually' when called out", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "You guys could be a 'Total Power Failure.' - Mm! Eat glass.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira's dramatic entrance: 'Caw! Caw! My teamster brethren! Yes, it's me, if you can believe it!'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira introduces herself as 'Doctor Clara Beatrice Mandrake' adding 'Middle name wasn't scripted, but I've done my homework'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira references director breaking her down 'Like Stan Kubrick did to Shelley'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira calls the script 'a total dumpster fire, of course' delivered casually", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "It's an apocalyptic fantasy about mutant crows. I think we all know what we're making here. - A timely allegory about prejudice.", "c": ["Moira", "Director"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira's response: 'Caroline Kennedy once called it the Atlantic City of French Polynesia'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Roland's fears escalate to 'I go home and he's playing strip backgammon with my wife'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Roland continues: 'I look in the mirror and it's Johnny's face staring back at me?'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm the gutter guy, Johnny. Everybody knows I'm the gutter guy!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Roland continues paranoid spiral: 'I go to my dermatologist, and Johnny's there getting my moles checked?'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "What's gonna happen next? I go to my dermatologist, and Johnny's there getting my moles checked?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David's seduction attempt: 'how sexy it is to walk in here and see you doing um... inventory? And wearing those little rubber thimbles'", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Patrick's earnest explanation: 'They help me flip the pages easier' followed by David's 'Hot. Hot sex.'", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Patrick's business response: 'it's kinda hard to build customer loyalty when your store is just like, spontaneously open or closed'", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David's explanation: 'Alexis's relationship is in trouble... they're in need of a generator, if you know what I mean'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David's violent fantasy: 'makes me wanna just... rip those little rubber things, and... burn 'em in a fire'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Stevie's interpretation: 'Fill a big, black empty hole in your life'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "If only! At this moment an intestinal bacteria would wreak less havoc on my career!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "I didn't bat an eye when I found out my accommodation here was in actuality a small 'Bed or Breakfast.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira describes accommodation as 'small Bed or Breakfast. They feed me at work, I'll take the bed.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira's metaphor: 'I refuse to be the goddess on its prow!' about sinking ship", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "That-that was rated 'M' for 'Mature,' John.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira's movie reference: 'If Sandy Bullock hadn't fought to keep the Speed Franchise alive, we never would've had Cruise Control'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Twyla's soup logistics: 'We don't actually have to-go containers for that, so I've just double-bagged it. Would you like a spoon, or a straw?'", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David's height phobia description: 'fearful makes me sound like some Dickensian orphan with a chronic illness. It's more an aversion'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Alexis's descriptions: 'Like a tiny toadstool man, or a little acorn person, or something'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David's comeback: 'you might wanna talk to half my birthright trip about that'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David's excuse for appearance: 'just using a new tinted moisturizer, that's all' when clearly terrified", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira's behind-scenes complaints: 'None of my phone chargers are working! I ask for a pressed juice, and all I get are blank stares'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira's comeback: 'You were the artist, and they were indifferent!' about director's firing", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "They had me play my own father, who then became pregnant despite the vasectomy.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira's soap opera backstory: 'They had me play my own father, who then became pregnant despite the vasectomy'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Nobody drinks that rocket fuel, Mr. Rose. - I know it tastes like something I found in that gutter out there, but uh... it's the pick-me-up I need", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Stevie's relationship wisdom: 'I hope that someday I find someone who I can stand long enough to feel a little lost when they're not around'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Eight days, Stevie. That's the longest we've gone without seeing each other.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Alexis and Patrick's rope course puns: 'I really hope we didn't rope you into something here'", "c": ["Alexis", "Patrick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "He and Anderson Cooper were stuck up there for like, three hours, until the wind died down.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Alexis's confession: 'I took the quiz like, 15 times. In Need of a Generator is like, the only answer you can get'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "'In Need of a Generator' is like, the only answer you can get.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "David's love confession: 'I love when you use words like inventory! I even love those stupid rubber things you put on your fingers, 'cause you think they flip the pages faster. They don't flip the pages faster!'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "Moira's final crow speech: 'Listen to me... aaawk! The day will come when we are no longer social outcasts! I am but a tailfeather away from finding the cure. So please... quiet your caws so that we may take up our cause: redemption!'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "In terms of my eyeline, how many birds am I clocking? And of them, how many are mutants?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Crowening"}, {"t": "The local Bosnians are calling it a stunning re-invigoration of the 'Crows Have Eyes' franchise. That, of course, is a loose translation.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Yes! Noon Bosnian Mountain Time, that is! Which was several hours ago, John.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I took a Bosnian upper just to keep awake. Those things are the size of a nickel, so I only took one, at least, I think I did. I may have taken a second one just to be safe, because I don't know if I took that first one, or not.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Either way, I've been up since eight am three days ago, with time changes factored in", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I don't know what you kids are still doing up so late.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Ooh, frisky, John.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Oh! Bye! / Ewww! / Eww. / Ugh!", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "You know, best to round up to an even four days.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Before your father met me, he was not quite so selective. I hesitate to add, he even had a predilection for boom boom girls!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Okay, I would like to remind you that I don't have a therapist anymore.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "No, you've said that like, three times now.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Just a few more, just to lull me to sleep. That's all.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Um, our money isn't for sale.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'd like you to open your cash register, and give me your money!", "c": ["Robber"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Our till doesn't currently have any cash in it, because my partner is at the bank getting money for the float.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "A wallet full of debt.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Um, we only have cloth totes, I hope that's okay.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Do you drink red wine, or white wine? Maybe some chilled rose in the back?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Suddenly she's a sales associate.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Do you have bad skin? / Yeah, sure, just hurry it up!", "c": ["Stevie", "Robber"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "God forbid he be specific.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Could you help the man with the door? His hands are full.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Could you help the man with the door? His hands are full.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Why do I feel like we did something wrong?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Tell that to me at 21, escaping the yakuza.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Also, I forgot.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Okay, I asked if I should be worried.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Like... that empty book that you gave me.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I'm just so scared of losing it.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "No, but um, one time I did do a book report on David's diary, and it was very dark.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Although now that I'm standing here, it's equally possible that I didn't knock at all. I suppose we'll never know, will we?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I haven't slept in eight months. / Why's that? / Because of the baby.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I suppose we'll never know, will we?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "In Bosni-wood, as the industry will soon be calling it", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I would be feeling it too, if I knew... what the heck you were singing about.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I once found a bag of Roland's ex-girlfriends' bras. Burned them. Except for the ones that were my size.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "It's like 50 Shades of Johnny Rose!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I can't believe you just offered him the wine.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Well, at least we know if the cops don't get him, his cholesterol will.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Mm, I remember you being pretty involved, actually.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Oh, if you're talking about my earrings the clasp broke, so I actually physically cannot take them off.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Yeah, I used to think that a lot growing up, when I'd see other kids with their families.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Well, I do have a large collection of my grandfather's hospital bracelets.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "And by that I mean it fell off her wrist at a Halloween party, and I kept it.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "word on the street is that you're in a little hot water with Moira, huh?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Do you know what a burnt under-wire smells like?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Although, Gwen thinks it's probably a lost cause. She's thinks you might be a sexaholic.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "We're trying to save your marriage, bud! Although, Gwen thinks it's probably a lost cause. She's thinks you might be a sexaholic.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Affairs, plural? Oh.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "And would we all not agree that words are weapons?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "This guy just sounds like a lucky customer, David!", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I didn't even tell him about the vintage wines we have in the back.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Now, this appears to be a photo of Twyla? / Yes... I put that there. Because Twyla is an important friend. / And Twyla's mom? / Is her important friend.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I was actually only one stamp away from a free sub, so.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Well, if it makes you feel any better, that was David's wallet.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "No. It was after she got thrown upwards through a skylight.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "No one will ever accuse you of being vanilla again. / Who's saying that?", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I know you asked for a small, but I 'swapped it' for a large.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "I got Twyla's step-brother's dog tags. And a whistle.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Caw! Caw!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Okay, can somebody close her eyelids, at least?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Love Letters"}, {"t": "Most VIP guests wouldn't be caught dead at a motel like this, no offense.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "That's cute.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "All he'd have to bring is a couple of sides, a bottle of wine, and something nice for the house. Nothing cheap.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I was once paid to talk up Heartblaster Energy Drink at a Third Eye Blind concert.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "You look like someone who just wandered in off the road.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Thanks.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "You've gotta stop with the Johnny business, okay? And secondly, I am the Manager.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Once again, Ray, saying 'knock knock' is not the same thing as actually knocking.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Door open, or closed?", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Well, you might want to invest in a 'lock lock' then.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Holy fuck!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "David, you're constantly talking about how much you eat. But I've seen you walk from the bedroom to the shower, and you look fine.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I think it's time we look for an apartment.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "They're in the pantry, next to the pancake mix, which means they've been sitting out for days. Are we feeling lucky?", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "You expire pleasured.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Yep, she never seems to run out of 'em.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I was seven minutes late!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "We really need to rehearse that Nine Inch Nails medley for our concert at 'Yarn for Cheap.'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "After collaborating so closely with the director on 'Crows,' I feel even more finely attuned to the fluctuations of the human condition.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I know it by heart. I actually sing it quietly every time you do it.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I know, Twyla. And it's not that quiet.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Well, these days, either he's crying, or I am.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Yes, and it's actually pronounced 'lee-as-on.' And my name is actually pronounced 'Ro-lahnd.'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "That should beat the black mould I had for breakfast at my last motel.", "c": ["Emir"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "If you would uh, how do you say, um, voulez-vous with me please.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Everyone agreed that I was the normal one in my cellblock at the women's prison, so.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Maybe you know my wife. I don't-I'm kidding. I don't have a wife...anymore.", "c": ["Emir"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Oh, disappeared? I'll never stop looking.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "And Adam Levine and I just went for bubble tea.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "That makes total sense, considering how nobody you dated ever expressed any interest in that.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Alexis is becoming a major girl boss, and is she just saying this so she can expand her home office when I move out?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I want to kiss you like an animal.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Oh Jocelyn, I'm afraid that dirigible has ascended.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I don't even know her last name!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "B-words!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Evidently, one or two of you have gotten under her skin.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I gave myself a promotion.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "What are you doing, buying a wedding dress?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I thought it was $40. I also need shampoo.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Body lice, you know, from the sheets, that'll get you a bad review. I've contracted it a few times, it's not pretty.", "c": ["Emir"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "What I love about this conversation is how well it goes with lunch.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I was gonna say modest, but...", "c": ["Emir"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Uh, just driving... to meet my sister... in Florida.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I'm a plant.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I'm a plant. / I'm sorry?", "c": ["Stevie", "Emir"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "So you cracked before we even ordered drinks?", "c": ["Emir"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "When there's a beautiful woman sitting across from me, even if she is a con artist, I welcome the company.", "c": ["Emir"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I haven't noticed an improvement! And sometimes you sing too softly.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "We are all sick and tired of hearing about Bosnia.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I could lose you as a roommate, Patrick, but on the other, I would gain the commission.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "It is, in the sense that it's a one-bed room.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "This is what small-space realtors refer to as, a 'step-in' closet.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I left a doggie bag of pot roast on your pillow.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "How are we still on this fucking tour?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "How are we still on this fucking tour?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "All you have to do is open the curtain... to the bathroom!", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Curtain open, or curtain closed?", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "the lack of closet space will inevitably force us to break up", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Wait, does this mean that you were ready to move in with me? No. No? No, it's a closet space, and a timing thing.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "I can barely hear your conversation. Are we sure we want the door?", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Compared to what, a haunted house?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "How do I sign up for this turndown service? Is there a clipboard, or something?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Plant"}, {"t": "Johnny discovering ice cold water after Moira's elaborate bathroom ritual", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "I'm currently reading a magazine from July, 1987.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "So I just signed for this, so does that mean I get to keep it? Also, what is it?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Give a warm dobrodosli to my red carpet gown", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Family, I'd like to you to meet a dear friend whom I've yet to meet.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "I've been told definitively it will happen, and I quote, 'ideally sometime this year.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "What designer gave you that kind of discount? / Sadly, it's not custom this time around, Alexis. Mommy had to shop off the rack.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Fortunately, I discovered something called a 'promo code.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "I'm surprised she made it through customs.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "I once passed off a mini horse and three Guinea pigs as service animals, so anything is possible.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "TBD on the guest list, Alexis, but I love your enthusiasm.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "I've been neglecting my wellness journey", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "I learned the hard way from my last trip to Japan. Showed up, no cherry blossoms, turned right back around, it was such a waste.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Wow, that's a lot of pressure to put on cherry blossoms.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Well, why else would we be driving to Elm Valley?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "You had the dirty motel sex with? / Well, when you put it that way it sorta cheapens it", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "What, am I gonna walk around, and admire the cherry blossoms alone, like some pervert?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "You know what, I hope for your sake, that they have cherry blossoms in prison.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "No, that detail actually slipped my mind, so maybe I'll just take it.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Old Shan out there. / Okay, first of all Alexis, she's not old, we went to vet school together.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Most people are a fan. So when someone's not, it's usually on them.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Yes you did, you little smooch monster!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Beep, beep! Paging Dr. Casanova J. Heartbreaker.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's funny because I actually am a doctor. / So am I... / No, you're not. Just-just Ted.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "I've come up with the perfect excuse for you to buy yourself a brand new hot water heater! / Still waiting for the good news.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "As soon we get uh, 'El Tightwad' here to loosen up the purse strings.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "And when dear, did our room become so moist?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Yeah, it might be Johnny's aftershave. I'm-I'm sorry, it is pungent.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Two hours ago. / And we're sure this is the right hotel? / He's not coming. I'm an idiot.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "He's not coming. I'm an idiot.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Oh, you'll be getting every round.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Can I get a 'hell yeah' for two hard-working women in the 21st Century?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Mmm! Muah! Muah!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Clearing the air about that little trip you two took to pound town.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Okay, let's remember this is still a place of work.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Okay, let's remember this is still a place of work.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "LOL.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm trying to follow the video here, it says it's for beginners.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Well, not all of us can drive around in an 8 cylinder car. / It's a '78 Lincoln, and it's all we could afford! / Right, '78. Vintage.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Wow, for someone who can barely stand, she sounds good.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "The student driver has my phone, and I have his. We didn't give them back to each other after we exchanged info.", "c": ["Emir"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Um, long story short, I took a pottery class with this one. / Oh, uh, I'm Emir. / Oh, Dane... a. Dana. / Dana?", "c": ["David", "Emir", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "I'm sorry dear, is your mouth moving? Could you uh, turn off the dehumidifier for a second? Because I can't possibly hear you over the sound of the dehumidifier!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "This gown has exceeded all expectations.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Not with the price of ink today.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "This dress is for the family. To remind us that our futures lie outside this town. It feels these days like I'm the only one who hasn't veered off course.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Yeah, I don't think that's relevant. / Ahem. 'Dear Melanie.' / Melanie? Is this the girl from the falafel place?", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "fal-awful saying this over text", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "I really... fal-awful saying this over text", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "'Cool!' Exclamation mark. / And it looks like you ended up walking her dog for her? / Well, she seemed really upset.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "And that cute lil' butt.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "And that cute lil' butt.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Oh no, I was, but then Tammy kept buying shots, and the whole room got behind me in like, a really big way.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Oh my God! Hello! Um, hi! Can I get another drink then, to the room, please? Thanks! / I actually just meant like, your mini-bar.", "c": ["David", "Emir"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "I actually just meant like, your mini-bar.", "c": ["Emir"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Oh no, I finished that.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "Can you stop yelling, please?! I had 14 polar bear shots last night.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "So before I send her back, take a mental picture. And perhaps an actual picture as well?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "And those are the shoes we're going with? / What do you think? / No.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Dress"}, {"t": "He told me he doesn't want my help, so I'm just gonna play the supportive partner, and watch him fail.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Remember that time that you told me you'd be there for me if I ever needed you? / I don't think that was me.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "But unfortunately, the couple that massages us can only do it once a month, so...", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Seriously. A nighttime couples massage, what is this, 1985?!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "No! They asked everyone at the table except us, we're sitting right here!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "They're not going to ask someone of your age, John. / We raised two kids. / 'Raised' might be a stretch.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Our nursery was in a different wing of the house. / It was a design flaw. / I'm a light sleeper.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "I told you, it's a playpen, Moira. / I was hoping you were joking.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Roland and Jocelyn don't think we can take care of a kid. / That's an argument I'm willing to lose.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Remember? 'Not Without My Cousin.' / And Ronnie's TV gets that channel, I told you this, John! / Or at least I'm telling you now.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Yeah, we were there most weeknights. / For at least a couple of hours. / Unless we were out for the evening. / Yeah, or jetting around. / Or if it was a really long day.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Besides, if Roland can look after a baby, anyone can.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "and believe me, he will, he will have... the baby binder to hold his hand.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "I've got him. I've got him, Jocelyn. / Well, I know why. It's because you don't trust the guy, and believe me, I don't either, but we're in this now, so...", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Looking so elegant for a night of babysitting. Just dressed to the nines in choking hazards.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Oh wow, so it's just gonna be Johnny, alone with our precious miracle baby?", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Okay Johnny, just don't do anything I wouldn't do. / What?", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Fine, once. Twice. Fine, I had a tray in Cancun.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Where is anybody gonna find glass-blown Venetian masks around here?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Models and teen actors are just gonna lounge around in their bras and thongs, and take Polaroids of themselves all night?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Besides, where are we going to find a salad bowl of E this last minute?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "So forgive me for not wanting to run back into the fire.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "My best friend, Summer, used to date Hef in high school, which isn't as weird as it sounds, 'cause he was like, a very young 77.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Snip, snip, Mr. Mullens!", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "You realize the bebe is crying. / I do, yes. / Isn't it scheduled to be dormant by now?", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Oh, it was the bebe. I'm so relieved!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "They're Tom Ford, John, no! And they wouldn't fit you anyway.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "wipe counter-clockwise direction, ah... flip it, if you can flip it. / The baby?", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "It's not like the old days when we could just call Adelina, and have her rush home from her daughter's wedding.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "when my cousin and I begin our backpack through Lebanon.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "never have I ever pretended to be a pizza delivery person so I could get into Jared Leto's Halloween party. / You're a bitch.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "My mom was engaged to two pizza delivery guys. Can that count? 'Cause I am really thirsty.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Sorry, I'm just trying to think of something I haven't done.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Because never have I ever been so bored.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Eating out of the garbage? / Okay, I did that in front of you last night.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "So I polished them off, and... it tasted like burnt plastic, and I regretted it instantly.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "I'm not sure if it's just the punch, but... he could get it!", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Hey! Do you wanna put Emir away for a hot sec, so this game can keep going, and the party can end soon?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm good. I don't wanna kiss anyone here. / My sister's sitting in the circle, You think I'm dying to play?", "c": ["David", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Babe, did you rig this? / Maybe I did, and maybe I did!", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Man, come here, big guy!", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Okay, I don't know where 'big guy' is coming from, but it needs to stop.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "if it weren't for Joyce Dewitt insisting on wearing those pigtails, this movie could've been a hit! We're supposed to be astrophysicists, it just takes you out of it.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "It appears you may need a change yourself, Mr. Rose.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Its body is ejecting things, what did you do to it?!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "John, did you feed it shellfish?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "For all we know, it's got crawling pneumonia.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "I don't want to say I told you so, but this is an infelicitous burden.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Jocelyn's written, 'Spit happens.' / Very clever. / For Jocelyn.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "You remind me of me at a high school house party judging all the attractive and popular kids for being attractive and popular.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "You're like a tsetse fly.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "was it the time you kissed my boyfriend? Or... was it the time you kissed my boyfriend?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "what would you do if Patrick and I suddenly kissed at a party? / Or Patrick and me.", "c": ["Alexis", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Okay, is that what needs to happen to clear the air here? You guys need to kiss?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Yum. That was fun.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "It was really good for me.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Awful peaceful when he's sleeping.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "That Adelina was grossly underpaid.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "I'm even more convinced that our hands-off approach served them better.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "She had a real breakthrough during the denouement. I believe she believed we were cousins.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Oh my gosh, you got little Roland Jr. to sleep? / Oh no, I'm talking about John.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "He is a slice of meringue, Jocelyn.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "I can actually see myself leaving Roland Jr. With you people more often. / Well, that something Linda might want to massage right out of your mind, the next appointment.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "You know, I almost think I like him better asleep than awake.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "We're just gonna go for a ride, see where it takes us. Maybe start a vet clinic somewhere along the way. He'll the animals back to heath, I'll... offer grooming services.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "So, you think he's handsome then? / What? He's like-he goes to the gym.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Both?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "Well, unless you were into candy ravers with asymmetrical haircuts and a lot of pacifier necklaces, I think our paths crossed at the right time.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "That was fun. / Yes / That was really fun. Did you have fun? / Yes, Ted. / Did everyone had fun? / Yes, Ted.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "You kissed my brother tonight, I'm not kissing you after you kissed my brother. / Pffft! Who kissed your brother?", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "But first just give your brother a kiss. / Ew, Ted, Ew!", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Housewarming"}, {"t": "What are we gonna watch, a silent movie from your childhood?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "it's clear from the stain on your top that things have gotten just a little lax around here", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Oh wow, this looks like the videos Joce and I used to make.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Emilio! Pause. That kind of physical touch is inapprop-ri-rate.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "And now they're gonna come and do it again!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "A double-cassette of the 'Best Body Swaps of Sunrise Bay', Season 21", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "I've been asked to retrieve it for a customer with wonderful taste.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Perhaps you'd like to meet outside of work for a dinner at my place?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Fast forward! - Oh! - Jesus.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Uh oh, ladies! Somebody better call Poison Control, because tonight's gonna be... \u266a Nothin' but a good time! \u266a", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Because when Rikki Rockett makes direct eye contact with you during 'Talk Dirty to Me', you are gonna want to talk dirty back!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Looks like they double-booked Poison with The Doodlebops.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "I didn't pump for four hours straight to get on a chartered bus to go to the end of the street and back!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "No, but I can ask George to burn something on the grill.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "When Condi Rice, and Sharon Stone and I, used to make our annual casino sojourn to Ho Chi Minh City, well, let's just say, toi khong bao gio thua.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "And this is the only casino I haven't been banned from as an unaccompanied minor.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Sorry, I'm just distracted, there's a guy over there currently flirting with my boyfriend.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "- Poor thing. - I know. No, I meant you, David.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Hm, you planning on doing some journaling?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Just when I thought it was impossible to find a thirty-something named Ken!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Get fucked Alexis!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "I mean, I think it's funny 'cause when he first walked in here I was gonna help him, so to think it could've been me enjoying Ken.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Do you mean the woman who wanted to know when the soap would be back in stock? Who came in here with her husband and kids?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Hasn't stopped me before.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh! Oh my God, Mr. Rose! Oh!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Taking a personal photo... For my doctor.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Right, well, it was, it was a medical uh, photo, and, and uh... and you what? You text or email this right back to your doctor, I mean, what a-what an age we live in!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "I wish we had gotten to the second tape in the workplace etiquette series, that had a whole chunk on Polaroids.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "just uh, maybe try and find a room with a locked door?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "You know what? I was going to change and then I thought, no, if my babysitter can show up wearing a crop top the size of a bib, I can wear this to a casino!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "If the bus is a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'! Wooo! Yeah!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "The pills came from Condi, so if anyone asks, you found them on the floor.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "this afternoon I made some... magic brownies!", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "this afternoon I made some... magic brownies!", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Oh Moira, we don't expect you to have one. One? At least one.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Best case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me. Worst case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Mr. Rose saw me topless. - Oh! Oh! - No! No!", "c": ["Stevie", "David", "Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Well, I did just think of one thing. - Please don't! - It's more of a limerick.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Whoa! Aah! Stevie! Your friend just responded!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Yeah... I'd say her friend responded.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "That hot piece from the store?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Like, Pippa Middleton, or Rihanna.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Mm, tell that to his million dollar smile, David.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Josh Groban has a thick, leather-bound binder full of them.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "If you'd've told me 20 years ago I'd be standing here with an empty chip bucket, stoned out of my mind at a Doodlebops concert, I would've lit a menthol, and had a laugh.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Roland Jr.'s a huge fan of 'Wobbly Whoopsy.'", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "All except Charlie, but every party has a pooper.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "we aging mortals are blessed with weakening eyes and memories so we don't have to really see ourselves.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "If you love the number 19, you go be 19.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Good taste in motels.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "No! Who knew everything would contain chicken? 'Black forest tenders.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "Hey Ted, I'll be there soon, but I just can't leave David alone right now. Yeah, no, apparently they left for dinner at seven. Radio silence.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "something about his shoes just made me feel really weird, 'cause they were like, long and pointy, but then... Squared off at the toe. Yes!", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "We all still like it, right?", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "It's really short. \u266a Every rose has its thorn \u266a", "c": ["Twyla", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Rock On!"}, {"t": "We should do breakfast more often, this is really fun.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Care to ensconce yourself?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "You're being audited? Those bastards!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "She was not 17.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "far more suffonsifying", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "David, you know the answer! - That's a lot of ovations.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "three by demand, and three on the house", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Yes, the exact sentiment expressed by the passengers as they stepped aboard the Titanic.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "They were having a rip-roaring bash before that bloody iceberg.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Well, I lost 80 pounds, I changed my diet, and I started taking Zumba classes. - Well, good for Zumba.", "c": ["Cheryl", "Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Try to treat good... have a nice room. Day! Day. Have a nice day in your room.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Those shoes do not make a sound. - Blame Wang.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "I actually wanted to do 'Cats', but everybody said that it was too political, so.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "1979, you had a Reuben. - No, but never mind.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "an artistic cradle robber, I am not", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Consider me a silent monarch on the wall.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Oh God, no!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "they say that babies fall asleep quickest when they're surrounded by an eerie, almost crypt-like silence", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Organic. Listen to me! Who am I? Gwyneth Paltrow?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "No, no, you're not.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Dave, please, I'm on a private call.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "I'd be more concerned about the baby, but what do I know?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "I'd be more concerned about the baby, but what do I know?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "If he gets cranky, give him some applesauce. - Those are $10 a jar!", "c": ["Roland", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "a whisper of desire", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Please never use that phrase like, ever again.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "It's like a... faint whisper of desire.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Oh dear.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "a foreboding vibration of pre-war Berlin", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "They say it's an emergency, but is it really, Tina?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Yeah, so tell me the last time that watching the new 'Fast and the Furious' was an emergency!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "watching the new 'Fast and the Furious' was an emergency!", "c": ["Tina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "He's um, three to four months. - He's huge for four months.", "c": ["David", "Tina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "maybe we can start telling some stories about someone else who was naked and crying?", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "my Vin Diesel adventure", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "she's just going after whatever she wants, no holds barred! - Oh, well hopefully, some holds barred.", "c": ["Ted", "Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Oh, well hopefully, some holds barred.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Well, we're in it now, Alexis.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "we all know you put your biggest talent front and centre", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "As long as I never have to act again.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "I got electrocuted three times, and the last time I didn't bounce back quite as fast.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "I don't know why she was wearing that rubber dress when she cut that wire, but it saved her life.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "I was thinking next Wednesday between four and five pm.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Well, it's always a thrill to experience a collection of nude photographs with a... a new friend.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "experience a collection of nude photographs with a... a new friend", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "And ten years younger! - Than?", "c": ["Cheryl", "Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "I've fallen for my Zumba instructor. - Bill? - Bill.", "c": ["Cheryl", "Alexis", "Cheryl"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "You remind me of my older brother.", "c": ["Cheryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "maybe I should start calling you 'Uncle Johnny,' then, huh?", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "that young, hot young Zumba instructor is gonna do when he finds out that Cheryl has a huge crush on you.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "I did play Liesl Von Trapp at 50.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "Well, humility forbids me from thinking I could become a quadruple threat that easily.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "I could become a quadruple threat that easily", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "some would argue it's even more responsibility than directing", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "What have I done? No!", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "A Whisper Of Desire"}, {"t": "I think surprise parties are tacky, and far too often organized by well-intentioned people with very bad taste. But... Patrick has always wanted one, poor thing.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "When I planned that Casablanca-themed party for your mother's 40th, I had to quarantine the camels for a month.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "I've actually been organizing this for quite some time, I'm just telling you right now because I know that none of you can keep a secret.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Oh! At 9 a.m. it's a little early for character assassination.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Not one of you knows how the 'Crows' movie ends. You told me the day you got home. You gave me the script.", "c": ["David", "Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Yes, things are certainly racing along at a dangerously rapid velocity.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "How did it end again? Like, a crowmageddon? Crowpocalypse.", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "I asked you to mow the lawn three times, Roland, so you being here is more your decision than mine.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no! I do get that all the time, though. It's uh, you know, you've got David's handsome looks there, and then my face.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "It's uh, you know, you've got David's handsome looks there, and then my face.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "More like, runs it into the ground.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Oh, we do have a lot of fun around here, don't we? We do, sometimes.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "But uh, I'll have to admit, I've been somewhat of a skeptic about those two. This one isn't as progressive as the rest of us. It's a generational thing with him. I was talking about the store, Roland.", "c": ["Clint", "Roland", "Clint"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Really? Because it kind of seems like the two of you just found out some really shocking information.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Correct me if I'm wrong here, Johnny. But it kinda seems like they didn't know their son is in a relationship with David.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Well, according to the radio, there's a darling little medical clinic in Elm Grove. Where if any one of us, say, you, or your father, participates in a few nugatory tests, we could be bringing in over $200 a week!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Showing up, taking your picture with a motley crew of pale, dewy-faced salamander people.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "You did a commercial for adult diapers! In Japan! In full-face Kabuki makeup!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "But there will be a safe word in case the gaggle of asymmetrical faces gets to be too much.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Okay so I told Patrick that there's a salmonella outbreak at the caf\u00e9, so he will not be coming here until I tell him to tonight. Is it possible you could maybe choose a lie that doesn't make the caf\u00e9 look like it's in violation of health codes?", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Did you run here, Mr. Rose? No! Just a pleasant walk.", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "romantically in business with each other. Ew!", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "I mean, what do they think, I'm just his business partner?! Possibly. I mean, yeah.", "c": ["David", "Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Well, that sounds reasonable. What did I just say?!", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "You took me to the Playboy Mansion when I was seven. And you had a wonderful time in the children's grotto.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "She only played Grace on 'Touched With Grace' for 37 years. The woman has 17 Emmys for playing a hot-headed nurse who healed people with her sexual touch.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Oh! Daughter? More like sister. Ew.", "c": ["Gloria", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Flowers are for you; the pizza's my lunch.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Yeah, I talked to my parents a little while ago. They're on like, a weekend getaway, so they couldn't chat long", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Um... [long pause] Okay listen, David...", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Okay.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "That's why I brought this couple home one day in college, and just told my parents to deal with it.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "You're gonna laugh yourself right out of the closet on this one.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "The salmonella was a decoy.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "The salmonella was a decoy.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I very much am.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "For a minute I thought this was gonna get very dark.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "keep him in the closet until then. I know that came out wrong, but we all understand what I'm saying, right?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "We used to use that for sangria, because it was like, so cheap, and... so good.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "$20?! I charge $50. And just in case, I wear open-toed sandals.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "And if we're talking feet, it's $75 for one, $150 for the pair.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "'Happy birthday' was too wordy, and we couldn't nail it at rehearsal.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "But might I recommend the crab cakes? I over-ordered, and they cost a small fortune.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "I don't understand his clothes, but... Ah, you will in time.", "c": ["Clint", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "I don't understand his clothes, but... Ah, you will in time.", "c": ["Clint", "Marci"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Hospies"}, {"t": "What time did you need me to show up to watch you play the baseball?", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Can you play both parts? / Positions. And, no.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Well on the upside, there is an Isabelle Huppert double feature playing at the Elmdale Art House.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "We just need a body! / Then go to the morgue.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I will cover you if any flies come your way. / I have a spray for that.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Given today's political climate, we don't need to divide ourselves any more than we already have.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "How many of the questions are about the barbecue? / Most of them.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I don't do well with running.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I can't stomach the thought of Patrick's team winning by default; the man looks like a thumb!", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "There were seven of us, surprisingly, not a big turn-out, but uh, the Flying Latkes ended up in fourth place.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "For one thing, the war is over. Ohhh!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "The Rabbi used to call me 'Popeye'.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I'm gonna put everything I got on the other team.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I did have a cousin who was in 'Riverdance' until she got trampled.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Yeah, um, I was one of the original Pussycat Dolls, But I only lasted like, two weeks. Because apparently, I'm 'too pretty'.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I don't. / Fine, 'artist'.", "c": ["Stevie", "Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I can't think of anything worse than standing on a stage in front of a room full of people.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "If this is anything like my first day with the Pussycat Dolls, it'll be a couple of hours of Kegels, and then an afternoon of cheeky Bellinis.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Just like Nicole Scherzinger did for me.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Not now, not yet.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "And I want to start the day with my lupanarian Kit Kat Girls!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Missing cues already. No, I'm-I'm simply here to inspire.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "You're wondering, are we really going to lay this colossal enterprise upon her tiny shoulders? Yes!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I'm a 100% confident that you will all soon see what I hope I believe I may be seeing in you, Stevie.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Oh, fuck.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "This glove is brown. My shoes are black. What exactly are we doing here?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Well, David holds the Little League record for most times hit by a ball. That's assuming it wasn't intentional.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I just wish I'd kept that helmet I got you.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "They let me go home early.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Does this come in black?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Once... Upon... A... Nightmare... My... Captor... Was... Dismembering...", "c": ["Moira", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I'm just flowing with your energy, Stevie. Which is good, but... you may require a little scordatura.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "One, two. One, two. Two. Two... two, two.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I'm just wondering when the Bellinis are coming out?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Okay, next time, can you make sure the ball goes into my glove? Thanks so much.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Nobody's gonna call you Popeye.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "There are no sons in baseball!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I'd argue most baseball players are somebody's son.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "It's like when we used to play the Catholic kids from Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow. The worst school cheer I ever heard.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "It's like when we used to play the Catholic kids from Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow. The worst school cheer I ever heard.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I'm wearing my maroon plaid hoodie. And I'm feeling... very uncomfortable.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "There's that razor sharp wit that landed you the role.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Okay, but we've chatted 30 seconds already, so we'll call it a company four-and-a-half.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "If only we needed to fill the role of a Dictaphone!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "You should've seen the conditioning Rocky put me through. Our first day consisted of mud runs, and sob therapy!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Okay, I don't know who this is, but can we put him back in the box?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "There's basically nobody out there, Nobody's gonna catch it, go ahead.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Is-is there a bell I could ring?", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "A firefighter with back pain?", "c": ["Someone"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Oh, I actually forgot what I was supposed to do up here!", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Why? It's the only part of this stupid game that I'm actually good at.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "I tipped it that one time, you even admitted that!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "David Rose, hit the ball!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "The next time I need a sub, remind me to ask the blind goat over at Mrs. Divine's farm.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Well, luckily for me, I had a side bet on whether Johnny would throw the game in his kid's favour. I consider it a split.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "When you get hit in the back playing a game you never wanted to play in the first place, does that make you the VIP?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "The MVP, and uh, no, we're not doing that.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Yeah, it was mainly because I was smelling the barbeque.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The M.V.P."}, {"t": "Who voluntarily goes to a tax seminar? / Maybe the kinds of people who want to keep their businesses?", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "This is about those stupid Tamagotchi? / Actually it is.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Taking care of that many is like a full-time job! / I left you with six adult Tamagotchis in perfect health!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "You have to like actively murder them in order for that to happen!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Last night she texted me at 3 A.M. and all it said was 'leggings.'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Unlikely... murderer.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "ballet intensive, perhaps some mittens to curb the nail biting", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "I promise to enjoy the 60 minutes I'll spend having my deepest tissues palpated", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Factor in five minutes for you to use the facilities and we'll be back home by noon", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Similar texture but falls apart in emotional complexity", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "It's the circle of life, John. You've just provided a nice Passover Seder for a family of hawks.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "what kind of ailurophobe sends their kitty out to play on such a busy stretch of highway?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Okay, like a serial killer?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "If this isn't a full circle moment, then I'm not twice divorced.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Well, you know what they say about love, it's like target practice, if you just keep shooting at it...", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "so we're reopening the Blouse Barn?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Well, isn't that a compliment. For him.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Karen's a new one.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "she was looking for a Jon Gosselin type", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "But I didn't pay for that. / I know, I got it at the flea market.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Thank you for the delivery. Do you need my signature? Oops.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "seems that the strap has fallen off of your shoulder. I'd offer to put it back for you, but as a delivery guy, I don't know if it's my place.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "my... grandmother passed this morning. / Ew! Oh my God, Ted! / Sorry, I wasn't prepared for an improv.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "So, you and I just innocently witnessed an 18-wheeler barreling down...", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "My husband struck down your feline with our car.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "No, my husband has what's called a feather foot.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "The Hammam Spas are notoriously fickle about refunds.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Hm, John, shall I pick you up on the way back? I know how desperate you were for me to have my day of detox.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "What the actual fuck?! / They've ripped off our entire store.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Tulips instead of roses? Woof!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "That's not me! And he's still standing there!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "You were a lot nicer when I was talking to you over there.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "How far do you think we'd get if we just started running?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "She's either up, or takin' a leak. / Either way, great progress for Bebe.", "c": ["Farmer", "Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Yes, it seems he had taken ill, and stumbled out on the road poor thing, presumably to end it all.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "It smells like pennies and burps!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Gel Time Moist Liquid. Contains 100% moist liquid.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, Davey got busted!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "pharmacies hand those out for free on Halloween.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "You pulled some new tricks out. / New to you.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "the door was unlocked the entire time! / They would've gotten quite the show!", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "How are we still trapped in this gothic horror show?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "The funeral... for your cat?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Perhaps it's the lack of air, but I believe I saw three or four cats running around since this interrogation began.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "No! She likes the Kinky Shoes. / I believe it's Kinky Boots.", "c": ["Baby", "Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "I'm her mother! / Yes, well that... / Yes, you are!", "c": ["Baby", "Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Who's Brad? / My fiance. / I thought you and Antonio were... / Oh David... We're business partners.", "c": ["David", "Wendy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "Who's Brad? My fiance. I thought you and Antonio were... Oh David... We're business partners.", "c": ["David", "Wendy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "they had to put the mirror on the ceiling.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "what would I do without you? / I literally don't know, Wendy.", "c": ["Wendy", "David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "A few years ago. And it just been real tough to get over.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "And if we're pointing fingers, David, I've done it on a lot of sinks and I've never had an issue.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "When you say you've done it on a lot of sinks...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Roadkill"}, {"t": "I think surprise parties are tacky, and far too often organized by well-intentioned people with very bad taste. But Patrick has always wanted one, poor thing. So I am throwing him a surprise party tonight.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "When I planned that Casablanca-themed party for your mother's 40th, I had to quarantine the camels for a month.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "I've actually been organizing this for quite some time, I'm just telling you right now because I know that none of you can keep a secret.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Oh! At 9 a.m. it's a little early for character assassination.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Not one of you knows how the 'Crows' movie ends.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "You told me the day you got home. / You gave me the script.", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "And you were both sworn to secrecy, so David is right not to trust you.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "I invited Patrick's parents.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Yes, things are certainly racing along at a dangerously rapid velocity.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "So tonight there will be a surprise. And there will be tears. Even if they're just my own. Okay?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "How did it end again? Like, a crowmageddon? / Crowpocalypse. But you didn't hear it from me.", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "I mean, meeting my best friend's son's boyfriend's parents for the very first time, I am very touched that you wanted me to share this moment with you.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "I asked you to mow the lawn three times, Roland, So you being here is more your decision than mine.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no! I do get that all the time, though. It's uh, you know, you've got David's handsome looks there, and then my face.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "More like, runs it into the ground.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Oh, we do have a lot of fun around here, don't we? / We do, sometimes.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "But uh, I'll have to admit, I've been somewhat of a skeptic about those two. / This one isn't as progressive as the rest of us. It's a generational thing with him.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "I was talking about the store, Roland. You know, mixing a business relationship and a romantic relationship, well, that's... it can get kinda tricky sometimes.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Really? Because it kind of seems like the two of you just found out some really shocking information.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Huh. Correct me if I'm wrong here, Johnny. But it kinda seems like they didn't know their son is in a relationship with David.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "You're looking especially fresh and photogenic today, Mother.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "there's a darling little medical clinic in Elm Grove. Where if any one of us, say, you, or your father, participates in a few nugatory tests, we could be bringing in over $200 a week!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Or, you could make $2,000 in one afternoon.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "motley crew of pale, dewy-faced salamander people", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "You did a commercial for adult diapers! / In Japan! In full-face Kabuki makeup!", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "But there will be a safe word in case the gaggle of asymmetrical faces gets to be too much.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "I told Patrick that there's a salmonella outbreak at the cafe, so he will not be coming here until I tell him to tonight.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Oh. Is it possible you could maybe... choose a lie that doesn't make the cafe look like it's in violation of health codes?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Did you run here, Mr. Rose? / No! Just a pleasant walk.", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "What? They're not supposed to be here for another 11 minutes!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "at one point Patrick was engaged ahem... to a woman, so...", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "romantically in business with each other", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Ew!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "I wouldn't have asked them to come here if I didn't think they knew we were in a relationship! They call the store all the time! I mean, what do they think, I'm just his business partner?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Possibly. / I mean, yeah.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Everybody calm down! Nobody say a word to anybody! / Well, that sounds reasonable. / What did I just say?!", "c": ["David", "Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "There is a dark side to Mummy's industry, and I've tried to protect you from it your whole life. / You took me to the Playboy Mansion when I was seven.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "And you had a wonderful time in the children's grotto.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Who's Gloria Gregson?! She only played Grace on 'Touched With Grace' for 37 years. The woman has 17 Emmys for playing a hot-headed nurse who healed people with her sexual touch.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Oh! Daughter? More like sister. Ew.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Um...", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "there is a small chance that this could change everything. That they might see me differently, or treat me differently.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "That's why I brought this couple home one day in college, and just told my parents to deal with it.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "You're gonna laugh yourself right out of the closet on this one.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "I could be just your business partner tonight. If that will help.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "The salmonella was a decoy.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "So you're not in a relationship with our son? / Oh, no. I very much am.", "c": ["Marci", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "David, we're not upset about Patrick being gay. / No. / Oh my God, okay! For a minute I thought this was gonna get very dark.", "c": ["Marci", "Clint", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "keep him in the closet until then. I know that came out wrong, but we all understand what I'm saying, right?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "'Touched With Grapes.' / Oh my God, that's your wine? / Yes. We used to use that for sangria, because it was like, so cheap, and... so good.", "c": ["Gloria", "Alexis", "Gloria"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "$20?! I charge $50. And just in case, I wear open-toed sandals.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "And if we're talking feet, it's $75 for one, $150 for the pair.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Also, we're going with 'Surprise.' 'Happy Birthday' was too wordy, and we couldn't nail it at rehearsal.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "But might I recommend the crab cakes? I over-ordered, and they cost a small fortune.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "I like him. I like him a lot. / Me too. / I don't understand his clothes, but...", "c": ["Clint", "Marci", "Clint"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Ah, you will in time.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Well, I guess that makes up for the fact that no one ate the crab cakes.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "David, I know my parents. They're not good actors. They knew about us, right?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "And the gift basket that you gave them that I'm hoping you paid for, that had nothing to do with you trying to smooth things over with them?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Meet The Parents"}, {"t": "Did he just say 'merriment?' / I think he did. / Yes, I said 'merriment.' Because that's what happens when I spend too much time with my mother", "c": ["Patrick", "Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "last week she told me to dance like an Indonesian scarf caught in the wind", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I don't even know what that looks like", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Yes, you have legs like tree trunks, we knew that going into this", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I made the mistake of going to Mario Lopez for advice, he was the hosting at the time", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I've just been to Miami so many times before, and trust me, the 'wildlife' is not as sexy up close", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "We just need to figure out where. / And what page is that? / Well, we both agree that we wanna get away, and we both agree that we're gonna land on somewhere so good", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "[Awkward silence as Ted realizes Alexis hasn't understood his Galapagos hint at all]", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Roland's extended fire metaphors about Moira's roasting ability", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Well, maybe you'd know, if you graduated elementary school", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Look at your face! 'Oh Roland, I'm sorry, did I go too far?'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Oh pal, you are going to get eaten alive tonight!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "You make me sound like a feral cat", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "a cheque that apparently is tax for the government, and not, as I assumed, a bonus for me", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "you have been awfully clingy of late", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I think it might be propitious for you to spend some time with your peers", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "your show is stripping me of a social life", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "You employ the wrong font, and you may as well bid Auf Wiedersehen to ticket sales", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "We're both going home though! What the hell?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "You mean, other than wanting to study some of the rarest and most diverse forms of plant and animal life on the planet?", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "You know, Emmett, the tortoise is 180-years-old, So I'm sure he'll still be around in another few years", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I once maintained a successful, semi-committed text relationship with Josh Hartnett while he was shooting 'Pearl Harbor'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "That was a good talk for everyone", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Babe, do you have a dishwasher? / Okay, I'm just gonna... I'm gonna figure it out then", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Sorry, you know those days where you're just like, super in love? / Hmm, not really", "c": ["Alexis", "Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Like, he gives me so much, and I have learned to take as well", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Someone who would literally put all their hopes and dreams aside to be with me", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "You're like my little fairy godmother, if she wore an apron, and Celine Dion's perfume", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "It's a bit too European for my taste", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "The phone book? How old are these?!", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Johnny, you need a search and rescue team to find the punchlines for those setups", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Just stay away from spouses, kids, and health, and you'll be fine. Like Roland in the bedroom", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "It's 7:15. Are you sure you should be walking over there alone at this hour?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "What the hell?! / I don't-I don't know", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "skullduggery, when it leads to such thrilling results, a pinch of moral corruption is a small price to pay", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I loosened the pickle jar. Derek merely popped the lid", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Yes, Ted Mullens, I will go to the Cayman Islands with you. / Uh, you mean the Galapagos?", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Yes! Let's celebrate! / Uh, no, no, no, I meant like, vaccinations", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "And boy, does he have a lot of gut to go with", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "And look at Bob, pretending to get it. And we all know Gwen, he hasn't gotten it in years!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Johnny's 'rippers' and 'starched sleeve' banter", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "a few tasty little rippers that are more palatable than anything Jocelyn's been serving up tonight", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.16, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "we all know if you've ever taken your car to Bob's Garage, he's not necessarily known 'four helpings' anyone", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.81, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Which is what the town must've been thinking when Roland elected himself Mayor", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Johnny's Roland Mayor election joke", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "The last time anyone saw her this happy was at a 3-for-1 sale on cargo pants!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "which is what a car is supposed to do... unless you take it to Bob's Garage!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Which reminds me of the last time I was in Roland's bedroom, um... well, I-I wasn't in Roland's bedroom", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "with all the venom of a silkworm", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "like you did with your education", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "not smart enough to stop wearing sweaters in the middle of summer", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Something the good people at Blockbuster never said about Rose Video", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "That was low, like David's standards", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Or the placement of Alexis' back tattoo", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "It says 'that's hot' in Cantonese. Got it in Hong Kong. / I was 12-years-old!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Dobro jutro, my darlings! That, of course, is good morning in... Bosnian. We know!", "c": ["Moira", "David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Okay, have we done something? I'm so confused. What do you want?", "c": ["David", "Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Aren't these just the cinnamon buns from the lobby? And wouldn't you know it, they have presented themselves unfolded.", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "But then you remember my crippling carpal tunnel from all those years of signing cheques.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Oh, it's just a gesture, David! Stop being so literal.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Oh my God, Turkish Cosmo once included my photo on their list of the world's best sarongs.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "I don't actually go in the open water, but I can't wait to see you do that.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Those are actually an insane safety hazard. If they catch fire, you're basically trapped in a burning cage, so. But, totally.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Ew, Ted! What am I, 32?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Yeah, I just sorta feel like picnicking by the side of the road is basically an invitation to be murdered.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Yes, so that you can tell me I don't need to!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "David, you have to stop watching 'Notting Hill'. It's not helpful for our relationship.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "I could do without the musky aroma though, whew!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "According to Mrs. Rose, our motel is the only place sad enough to pass for a pre-war Berlin brothel.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Just like your youth, right, old man?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "You keep everything inside, like a bashful clam!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "You can try, I don't think you'll have much luck. The poor guy died of a heart attack.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "John? John, can you hear me? Can you hear me? Try to follow the sound of my voice.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "He predicted when he was going to leave my mom like, to the day.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Well, you should probably get your story straight if you're getting people to donate money, though.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Yeah, so I see a boat capsizing. People screaming. And a couple, like, under water. And then it sort of fades to black.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Mm, more like a funeral.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Well, if you can track my eBay bid, then, by all means.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Just wonder why we couldn't have found a meadow somewhere, you know, with some men on horseback like, trotting in the background.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Well, the app that's counting my steps isn't working, so I honestly don't know.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Where's the bear?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "And I include Caroline in that, and I've had that wig for 40-years.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "I'll have to keep the pills, but I'm not one who's the health risk here.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "The last time I was in one was with Lenny. Although he didn't stay very long.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "I once played a nurse on 'M.A.S.H.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "It was either the first aid kit, or the ice packs.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "and not a Band-aid to be found in either of them, but still.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Um, just being on the internet.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Like, I will physically be there, but I will be thinking about them here.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "what you're describing is missing someone, and it is a totally normal feeling.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "What if something happens to David? I'm basically his only friend.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "I don't do math.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "And I drained a 20-footer, and finished with an eagle.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Well, he did say that there have been some fatal cases... of heartburn.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Yep, I'm just really not looking forward to folding those programs.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Plus, you don't want to know what my Mom would do if you showed up to opening night, and couldn't walk.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Are these 24-karat? It's a yes, it's a yes! I love you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "I think the deck may be cursed. I predicted four other drownings today.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Either that or it's a stain from a beer bottle. Because my mom's ex gave me the cards.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Hike"}, {"t": "Oh my gosh, is this what marriage is? / Nope, this is just left over from the picnic yesterday", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Hmm, you could've lied", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "I look like I crawled out from under a bridge", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "David's elaborate engagement announcement fantasy", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Great to know you've barely given this any thought", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Good luck, honey! / It's 'break a leg'", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "You expect me to bring this with me?! This frame is like, ten pounds!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "'Break all your legs' - A well-intentioned, if not slightly misguided sentiment from the Elmdale Arts Council", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Well, that seems like poor planning", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Moira offering Alexis the publicity job while she's leaving for Galapagos", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Well, again, poor planning", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "I'm going to support my boyfriend, and hopefully, eat, pray, love, a bit for myself", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "and the energy is unusually light around here", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Moira Rose Enterprises, how may I direct your call?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Well, yes, my assistant is very busy", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Outside of criticizing someone's style choices", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "There's something in the news about Oprah. She got new espadrilles", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Patrick proposed, and I said yes", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Alexis's overwhelming emotional reaction", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "It's just nerves. About the show", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Kind of looks like a vampire. A little skittish when approached", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "if you have a taser, you may want to use it", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "I don't know how you're gonna feel about this, but I'm gonna need some hair samples", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Patrick proposed to me yesterday, and I may have told her about it", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "She planned her brother-in-law's funeral for under a hundred bucks", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "When did this become about you?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "What a unanimously disastrous day this is turning out to be!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "What the fuck?!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Or is it 'Misters?'", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "I left my phone at home, which I realize was a really big mistake", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Moira in full costume pretending she was just dressed in theme to support", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "I was more upset that I had to drive to Elmdale today", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "I also appreciate this burlesque-y get up", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "I also appreciate this burlesque-y get up.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "You're an almost married man, now", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "I'd ask if you could hold us up more, but I'm not a big fan of rhetorical questions.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Oh, does your Dad not know?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "you're very, very cool. And whether you set sail, or stay put, that's not going to change.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Well, you dazzled tonight, sweetheart. Thank you. / Oh, sorry, I don't know why I thought you were talking to me", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "I was shocked! / Shocked? / Amazed. I was amazed", "c": ["Johnny", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Galapa-go now", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "it's time for Ted to... Galapa-go now.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Jocelyn, I'm the one on the chair!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Jocelyn, I'm the one on the chair!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Oh my God, just spit it out, David!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Moira: No! Nooooo!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "Unless we still wanna do a toast?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Life Is A Cabaret"}, {"t": "I fit my high school best friend into a suitcase way smaller than this when we were crossing the border between Laos and Vietnam", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Beach curls back. Yeah, you've mentioned that a couple times.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Take it the 'Crows' movie is still shelved.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "You invited Dad. Okay, I don't know what that's supposed to mean, Alexis.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "John, remind me to reprimand that latch, it's been awfully moody today.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Finally. I'll have the continental breakfast with the fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice. Orange Pekoe tea.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Sadly, I won't be able to squire you for today's wedding venue peregrination.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "You invited Mom? She's literally been asleep in a closet for a week.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Take me with you.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "David! I've asked you not to over indulge in that smoky cologne, it's enough to give someone a seizure!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Oh, this is not, this is not how I go! Somebody help! Moira!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I'm being annulled by a chancy door clasp!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Jeez, Moira, I wait 'til at least 10:30 before I have my first beer.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "You know, Moira, if Johnny locked you in that closet, we're going to have to call the police.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "My babies... My girls. Lorna, second from the left. If she takes on smoke, she'll never recover. And Cindy! Cindy, below her. Cindy, I just gave her a blowout.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's the only venue for miles that doesn't look like a crime scene from a missing person docu-series.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I thought that was a choice.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I left Stevie double-fisting drinks in a hot tub at the cabaret wrap party last night. I think I saw you triple-fisting at one point.", "c": ["Alexis", "Patrick"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Oh no, not quite. God, no.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, please forgive me. I looked at your friend's face and thought someone had just come from her make up trial.", "c": ["Clive"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "You look great.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "See, David? Imagine if I wasn't here for this moment.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Why do they call them toaster pops if it says on the box, 'Do not toast'?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "How mercurial is life? We all imagine being carried from the ashes by the Goddess Artemis and here I get a balatron from Barnum and Bailey.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I have been gifted a smoke signal and you will never again find me back in the closet.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I don't believe my career has been that kind to me. I all but perished in the name of an unrequited love for an industry that has burned me over and over again.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Oh, I have never needed less.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "And I am including that Peruvian ayahuasca retreat we embarked upon with Al and Tipper.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "You just remove those vetements, Mr. Rose, I'll be back in the shake of a lamb's rump.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Moira Rose is tech un-avail, she has a life to live.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Are these in dollars?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Perhaps a copper package?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "You're clearly very desperate and I'm feeling terribly for you.", "c": ["Clive"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Uh, I planned my ex girlfriend's intervention in less than an hour. Plus, it'll weed out all the dead weight.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Um... I will not be here in one month, so I guess that makes me the dead weight?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I once dated someone who left me for a stuffed animal. I'm not having my big day... Our... Our big day compromised because Alexis wanted to chill in a tankini for six months.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "And I would never wear a tankini!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I might have overreacted and for that, I am apologetic. So, you're sorry. I knew there was a reason I came on this trip. My God. I am remorseful over an action I participated in.", "c": ["David", "Patrick", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm not wearing them on the plane, they hand out slippers with the mimosas. When was the last time you flew economy?", "c": ["Alexis", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Oh, John, I can just see you aimlessly wandering through life. Stoic but stymied, not a friend in the world and so very lost.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I lost my Patek Philippe in that lake, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "You could be hit by a Mack truck, or bopped on the head by a tiny piece of space debris!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I've actually been jealous of your trip. Like, you're getting out there, seeing the world.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "your flight's not leaving for another month. Yeah, but it's day before month, so you're not leaving on July 8th, you're leaving on August 7th.", "c": ["Stevie", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Oh, well, what would the back end look like on a deal like that? Oh, I see, what an emphatically Kismetic turn of events.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I found your husband sunning himself in the creek, like he was in some Grecian bath.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Officer, perhaps we could arrange a plea bargain?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "I promise to keep my husband habilimented from now on.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "The algae was so slippery, the cop had to throw me his fishing line.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Well, button back up your birthday tux, John, because I've just found out the 'Crows' movie is back in business!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Clive didn't have jumper cables because he doesn't drive because he's scared of car horns.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "The truth is, is that I'm really gonna miss you. Thank you. I'm going to miss you, as well.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Like that time you showed up to Kate Winslet's wedding a month late. The calligraphy was hard to read and Billy Zane also did the same thing, David.", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "They process their pork on the first Sunday of every month, hence our discounted rates.", "c": ["Clive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Like a thousand guinea pigs were being shoved into a wood chipper.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Well, it sounds to me like you two dodged a bacon-wrapped bullet. I'll say it again: life is but a strand of happy accidents.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "You've never said that before.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "he still hasn't lizard-proofed his place and I have absolutely no desire to be there until that happens.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Oh, in other news: your father was arrested for indecent exposure. Ew, I'm eating!", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Smoke Signals"}, {"t": "Something spilled in the bed... there's wet in the bed", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Oh my God, David, did you wet the bed?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Do we have to file for divorce if we were never married?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "We are not getting divorced... Yet. I need to see if I can get the stain out of my sheets first.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Because I'm about to jump out of it!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I will take a shower, but we must never see each other again.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I love you. / I'm glad one of us does!", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "So how was your seventh shower?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "because I peed in it!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I found this blanket that I thought I had lost in the laundry room, so you've actually done me a favour.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Maybe, but if the tables were turned, I can't say I'd be as generous.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "You put down a plastic sheet?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Purely coincidental.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Come on, David, it's an expensive mattress!", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "More expensive than my dignity? / I mean, comparable, at least.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Takeover? That sounds hostile.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I've dated enough mid-level latte art influencers to know what the people want.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I take a slightly more cerebral approach.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "an amusement park for clinical narcissists", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Big news coming soon, caw caw!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "let's put a beak on that winking cartoon", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Ashley Tisdale and I played suffragettes... 'You Go, Girl.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I believe we've just gone viral.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I think you and I might need to purchase... antibiotics.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I'm-I'm not sure about that. / No surprise there, Johnny, I told you she's not the visionary you and I are.", "c": ["Stevie", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Betty is Benny's wife... Huh, Betty and Benny? What are they, puppets? It's the Benny and Betty Show! I'm Betty. I'm Benny. I'm Betty!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Maybe it's because of the coffin. This is a funeral, Roland!", "c": ["Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "She may have said viewing.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Johnny, language, please! A man is dead.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I'm just not that thirsty. / I'm doing inventory.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "It's a little word I assembled to consecrate my fans, who are also my friends.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Okay, 'frands' doesn't sound nice.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I would rather not, thanks.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I don't think you have to say hashtag when you're just talking, Mrs. Rose.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "You look like the downfall of society.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "especially you, 'Wine and Cat Gal 74,' I do hope you stop crying soon.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I would suspect a little trouble in paradise.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I thought that was remedied when you got your new nose.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "You're not eating pepperettes in bed again!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "David, don't tell me you've had a nighttime oopsie-daisy.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "David's nocturnal enuresis used to only happen when he went to bed all juiced up with excited anticipation about something.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Christmas, birthdays, the Ides of March.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "And now it seems your impending nuptials has opened the floodgates.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Why am I oddly flattered?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "you can tell the quality of a motel by the food they serve at the owner's funeral.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "had another bonspiel to go to, and unfortunately that bonspiel was way more important than Benny's bonspiel, so we had to go to that bonspiel.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Since I wasn't in the curling league, can I go home?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "A wonderful teen named CherryBus, she lives in Singapore. Why? Who wants to know?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "So people basically got like, a whole podcast about how David's wetting the bed again.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "you just posted your entire conversation with David and Patrick!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "If I wasn't your publicist, I would be enjoying the situation a lot more than I am. Which is still like, quite a lot.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Her face has 'fed' written all over it.", "c": ["Mrs. Terkstra"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Johnny and I used to play bingo with Maureen, right after curling.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Too bad it's not an open casket. I would've loved to say goodbye to old Benny's face.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Miss CherryBus", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Precisely why we're involving you in this covert stratagem.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "That, and the fact that working conditions weren't exactly safe for a ten-year-old", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I'm gonna miss that enthusiasm.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "there's literally no liquid left in my body, so.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "what's the thread count on this plastic?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "It's my mouthguard... Also, you look very beautiful.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I have never been more attracted to you. Mm, same.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "I have never been more attracted to you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "Okay, put it away, David. It's bedtime.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Incident"}, {"t": "we discovered a new breed of fly that mates with itself. Yummm! Mm.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "I've actually been bench pressing 100-pound tortoises because there's no gym here", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Ted! Stop making me jealous of turtles. Tortoises, but I do have tur-tell you", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Oh my God, David! Knock much?! / Hi, David! / Hi. Is he dressed?", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "You and Alexis were about to engage in cyber-sex. / Hi, Ted. / Hi, Mr. Rose.", "c": ["David", "Johnny", "Ted"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Alexis, what have I told you about putting your body on the internet? Never! Never without proper lighting.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Everybody out so I can finish off with Ted! Sick! Ugh! Goodbye, please!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Okay, 'Larrierre' sounds like a dollar-store perfume. It's an airline. Larry is the name of the CEO.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "He used to own a chain of delis, but then he sold them to buy a bunch of planes.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "You know that I was once told that I would make an excellent flight attendant. By who? Sandy, the hostess on our private plane.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "She once let me debone a branzino during turbulence.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "if it's between the two of us, we all know who's getting the job. / if this is what we're working with, I think we can hand me the contract today.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "So, you're Stevie Budd? No. Believe it or not, that's actually a woman's name.", "c": ["Bank Manager", "Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Yeah, and look at the way this guy bounced back from total financial ruin.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "We don't offer faith-based loans. / I am the mayor. You already mentioned that. / did I mention I went steady with your mom? Unfortunately, you did.", "c": ["Bank Manager", "Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Okay, then I'm out. I got nothing.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Please tell me it's not a testudine. No, it's a turtle.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Turtles do not pets make. The poor things are riddled with a myriad of diseases. You may as well tie a leash around a raw chicken cutlet.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Relax, they said he's already been washed.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "I've named the turtle Ted. All the blogs about successful long-term relationships say that the key is creating shared experiences.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "if you desire a love with longevity, the key is to have as little in common as possible. After an award-worthy trilogy of decades together, your father and I still astonish each other.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "So you wanna be a youth pastor? / While that joke was surprisingly sharp, these are Patrick's clothes.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "While, that joke was surprisingly sharp, these are Patrick's clothes.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Larry Air, recent improvements: all chairs will have tray tables, not just first class. I feel like I'm flying on the Concorde.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "if anyone here is involved in the class-action lawsuit against Larry Air, you are disqualified from applying.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "I'd say my biggest weakness is... that I'm disorganized. Ooh, that's true. And, um, I'm indecisive. Yes. Uh... I also... Okay. We just needed one.", "c": ["Stevie", "David", "Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Would we consider loyalty a weakness? If not, I'm also really honest. I'm just gonna put down chatty.", "c": ["David", "Carol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Roland, you're not adding anything to the sentence, you're just repeating what I said.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "the other day, I got a look at Bob's financial statement on his desk in the office, and that garage is doing great! Plus, he got plugs last year, but... you didn't hear that from me.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Oh, look at you, Robert, with the hides of a herd of Holstein on your back.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "I just had two cups of coffee, I don't wanna push my luck. I mean, these pants, they take like a year to unlace, so...", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Rose's, I hope you like fish, 'cause I think we just reeled in a big one.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "it's been weeks. But between the patchy Wi-Fi and like the ten-day nature trips, and me being alone here, kind of feels like he left the day that he flew to the Galapagos.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "The turtle flew to the Galapagos? No, Ted the turtle is missing, I am now talking about my boyfriend Ted, Twy. It'd be great if you could keep up.", "c": ["Twyla", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "The slowest animal on earth escaped from me. That can't not be a bad sign.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "My mom had a turtle dove that was eaten by her ex-fianc\u00e9's snake. That was a bad sign. And it happened on Valentine's Day. And her fianc\u00e9 was a Satanist.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Oh, and if you do see Ted like waddling around in the kitchen, just feed him a carrot and shoot me a text. I hope you're joking. Me too, girl. Love you!", "c": ["Alexis", "Twyla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "This baby behind me has been crying for over an hour now and I just can't take it anymore. / I have shushed them thrice at this point.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "I could either move those two to the back of the plane, or I could offer you some complimentary alcohol to make your flight a little more bearable.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "no seat changes, and 'complimentary' is not in our corporate vocabulary. But finger snaps for David! We don't... Sure.", "c": ["Carol", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Fuck yes! I regret to inform you, you will not be asked to continue the process. This is so embarrassing. I thought you said David Rose. I did.", "c": ["David", "Carol"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Too bad they didn't have a branzino to de-bone because you would've got this.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "some of us drove some of the other applicants here, so it might just be easier if we all just moved forward into the next round.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "I'm taking the peanuts, Carol!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "How often do good friends get a chance to sit around and, uh, and talk? Right! And, you know, I didn't get a chance to tell you before, but that is one snazzy outfit.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "This is so exciting! I feel like I'm a Wolf of Wall Street. Good... then let's go get our lamb.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "John, were you able to return Bill and Melinda's call today about the hmm hmm-hmm? / Well, you know, Moira, we're not supposed to be discussing investment opportunities at the table, no matter how lucrative they might be. But you know what the Gateses are like - Bill and Melinda.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Gwen's not coming. Let's eat. / she left me. / I'm sorry, it's just all this, all this money talk, and all I can think about is how much I spent on this suit.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "she said, 'I like bad boys,' and now she's holed up with our minister. She was bragging about a religious experience.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Perhaps there's an upside to all this, fiscally speaking. Hmm! Oh no, no.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "You are such a sore loser. I am not! I'm not. It's just, do you really wanna work for a place that clearly doesn't know what they're doing?", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Oh, well, they really want me to work for them, so I have to trust that they do know what they're doing. Admit it. I'm more qualified than you. Fine. Admit it. You're more qualified than me. Thank you!", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "let's see what exciting new job opportunities await you in your new career as an airline hostess. / I am so embarrassed for you! Now, I would love to use one of Larry Air's 'completely private' new paid toilets.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "How do I know this isn't like an abduction or something? It's not an abduction. You didn't blink. I believe you.", "c": ["Alexis", "Limo Driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "And you're wearing the little tie with your short-sleeved shirt. My little Galapo-guy. / Yeah, it's actually really hot here, so the bottom half is just my bathing suit and flip-flops.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Ted! More about your bottom half, please! / Twyla's not standing right behind you, is she? / Hi, Ted.", "c": ["Alexis", "Ted", "Twyla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "In fact, they actually named the new fly 'Alexis.' / The fly that mates with itself?", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "We... are buying into the business. Say hello to your new business partners. / So, we have the motel? We sure do. Now, first order of business, we need name tags.", "c": ["Roland", "Jocelyn", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "if it's good enough for Bill Gates to invest in, it's, uh, good enough for us to invest in.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "Why is there a turtle on the floor? Alexis!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Job Interview"}, {"t": "John, it's practically obsidian in here! / You just said close the curtains!", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "I don't remember any of this...?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "It's halted. Someone hit resume. - Just let it buffer.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Oh, this is a no way an optimal viewing experience.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Like think of all the people on the planet who find someone, somehow you're one of those people.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "I mean, you didn't end up marrying JC Chasez or Jenna Elfman. But I actually feel like Patrick is kind of the best of both of them.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't our very own little JC Chasez.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "If you say Ronnie... - Oh, I don't think she would have said yes. - Does not like him.", "c": ["Alexis", "David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "David, you better be talking about Stevie Nicks.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Fine. But I don't want any hurt feelings. Because the last thing we need right now is interpersonal conflict eclipsing my... our day.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Imagine what I could do with your bachelor party, David. Diplo still sends me nudes.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Who am I, you buying your car?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "If we're gonna split it up, I call the money.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "I left a pack of chewing gum at the movie theatre two weeks ago, and I haven't gone back for it.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "It's called global warming, Johnny.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Or gal. This is the 21st century, Johnny.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Thanks in large part to the thaumaturgy of our special effects department.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Credit the technical wizardry of our team of imaginators.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "What a human beak can do?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "though the adulation does appear to be unanimous.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Well... it looked just like a real movie.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Now there is the quote for the sizzle reel!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "My uncle had a parrot that just kept asking me to take my bra off.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "You do know that 'Pan Am' was cancelled after a season, right?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "So how safe can the plane be if I'm the one in charge of saving people's lives?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Did you know that Larry Air has 18 ongoing lawsuits? One of which is from Larry himself.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "How honest do you want us to be?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Do you realize that this soda is made with 99% real drink. You can't argue with that kind of math.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Your sexist instincts were right as usual.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Just the look in your eyes sent a chilling, wet gust of raspberries to my face.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Not 'The Love Guru'?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "I once hooked up with three different GQ Men of the Year. At the GQ Men of the Year party.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "I once planned Megan Fox's bachelorette on this tiny island off the coast of Montenegro where nothing is illegal. Like nothing.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Oh my God, Stevie. I get why you and everyone else would be asking that question, but the answer is... like maybe?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "I'm now unemployed in my thirties. For the second time in a week.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Oh my God. Since when did James Bond shop at Elm Glenn?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "And by the way, whatever you're doing is A-okay with me. But unfortunately Professor Prude here is not too keen on 'squatters.'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Or gals. - No, never women.", "c": ["Roland", "Prosecutor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Good job, Roland. - You're a professional, Roland.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "From the first ominous syllable of the narrator's tale, one can feel the hair on one's arms standing at affrighted attention.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "One even tried to mate.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "I think it would be a weird look for me to be a flower girl at my age, David.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "Like come out first, wearing a gown made entirely of flowers... and loop back... and then quick outfit change, and we're up.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Maid Of Honour"}, {"t": "As your publicist, it is my job to optimize a branded approach to real-time engagement with your fanbase through contextual marketing. I hope I'm not paying you by the word.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Which is why I came up with the ideation for the following idea.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Alexis, your flip-chart says 'premiere.' / What're you trying to say? / I'm sorry, why are you even involved in this conversation?", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, for a scrappy little novice, but not for someone who's cut many a crimson rug.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "What's next, I sign my name in the pavement outside Bob's Garage? Jocelyn gives you an honourary degree at her school? Host the Met Ga-la at David's store?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "I don't like that one.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Roland has a guy who rents out live crows.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Remember that 'Waterworld II' premiere? Exactly, David. Oh, the last place anyone wanted to be when those reviews came in was a glass-bottomed pirate ship in the middle of the ocean.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Good luck though. / Lick rust! Thank you!", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "I do. It's a death trap that needs to be set on fire and pushed off a cliff.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "driving his fianc\u00e9 to go get his wisdom teeth out is totally within my maid-of honour responsibilities.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Also, if this is what it takes to get you out of that dank little apartment...", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Look at me. Two years ago, I thought I'd have a wife and kid at this point. / Yeah, well, one out of two isn't bad. / I've been told I'm... very young at heart.", "c": ["Patrick", "Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Hello, Access Hollywood? Have I got a star sighting for you! Very pawky, Jocelyn.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "save yourselves the trip to Frocks4Less. From what I've heard, it's more of a minor league viewing party.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "It reminds me of that time that Ren\u00e9e Zellweger's brother came in here, and I got him to sign a menu. I mean, he spelled his name differently, but I swear it was him.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Ornithology Today! Well, if anyone knows crows...", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Well, that's hyperbolic. I mean, they already had 'fun' and now they've added 'good.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "We were resolute about not making an issues movie, but I'm glad they picked up on that.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Moira Rose, as Dr. Clara Mandrake, is delightfully unhinged. / Do you know what they call this, gals? An understated rave.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Well, you might want to tell your friend Janet that there just may be a bombshell attendee after all.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Oh, but do pack eyedrops! The film's first third is densely packed with exposition, and you won't want to blink.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Oh, it's actually best. A lot of this film blatantly contradicts what's been established in the first two.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Thank you so much for all the hot tips you were giving our Uber driver. For a second, I was concerned about my rating, but I think he seemed to enjoy all the wrong directions you were yelling at him.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "\u266a I'm a hungry, hungry hippo", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Why are you so handsome? / How come your skin is like... perfect. / It's a nine-step regimen I do twice a day. It's not a big deal.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "You know what I really wanna do with you? / Uh-huh. Ethically speaking, I don't think we can do that with you in this state. / Have a baby.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Like I wanna have like a little baby with you. And we could just love it and hold it and bounce it. / Yeah, that's a... that's a big one-eighty.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "You would be such a good dad. / Have we met? / I wish you were my dad.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "I'm glad you didn't feel you needed to clean up on my account, you know? It shows just how comfortable a friendship we actually have. / I did clean up. / Right. That's... what I meant.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Good. We bought the second motel! / First phase of many in the Rosebud Motel expansion.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "But not on your bed.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "I wanna buy you out. / Oh!", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "You don't have to downplay your excitement on my account, Stevie. I'll be just fine.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Oh, it's barely noticeable, dear. We'll find you an electrologist.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "When Demi decided on a Friday night at 6pm that she wanted to celebrate her 40th in Aspen, her publicist had us in parkas by 7. Sadly, Megan went into cardiac arrest on the flight, but she perished doing what she loved.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "That was mine. I've been looking for that. / Blame UPS.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "with the baby around, I only get that kind of me-time maybe... five to six nights a week, so...", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "'cause my skinny jeans are in the wash.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Fine. But you owe me a prime spot on that carpet. / Wait, you wanna walk the carpet? / Honey, it's a movie premiere, is it not?", "c": ["Ronnie", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "I would like to request a time before Roland. And I'd like to go first.", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "It's, uh, being finicky. / Uh, remember, Mr. Rose? I left you a sticky note.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Is it Larry Air? 'Cause they called me for a reference, and also asked if I had any interest in becoming a pilot.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Roland. I know. He gave me his new business card. Never saw so many typos on a business card.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "You complimented my flawless skin and called me the Jewish Channing Tatum, which all tracks.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "I'm not married to Christina Aguilera, am I?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "I was watching 'Bridget Jones's Baby' right before I went under.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Why are you dressed like a limo driver? / Your mother insisted.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Why are your pupils so dilated. / No, yours are. / No, yours are.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Let the crowening commence!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "'The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening!'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "I know a bit of their language. CAW! CAW-CAW!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "This is fucked.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Trained! Some of them were painted seagulls.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "It sorta looks like people are running away from your movie, Moira.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "It's called an immersive experience, David! / Immersed in lawsuits maybe.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "Tonight, a murder of wild crows attacked would-be audience members who had come to see a movie about a crow attack.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Premiere"}, {"t": "The Crows Have Eyes: The Crowening", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Hosts giggling and showing faux sympathy at crow attack footage", "c": ["TV Hosts"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "and one severed earlobe", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "It is?! (Laughs excitedly)", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "This whole PR coup d'\u00e9tat never would've happened without her", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Poor dear's not mic'd", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "I believe you've met my roommate, Bob", "c": ["Ronnie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "I don't mind a dirty room. I hope that doesn't sound as sad as... as it feels", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "you should really hydrate after all that crying", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Gwen used to love water. (Sobbing)", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "That's not exactly how I'd describe our guests, Roland", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "First off, we now have electricity. (Laughs)", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Uh, lucky Gwen, she has another one of her male cousins visiting. (Chuckles then sobs)", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "it's sort of burning my hand a bit because I can't put it down on anything", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "our feet up on the... (Knock at the door) - You happy now?", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Just do me a favour and watch these, and don't eat them. - Mm. No guarantees", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Wow. We're still doing that", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "It really brings out your lips. - Okay", "c": ["Jake", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "I am also wearing a sweater", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "A lot of sweat went into this one", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "you guys make a beautiful couple", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "your face is all red. It's beet red. - It is not! - Mm-hmm. It's flush", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "It was a real 'Fyre Fest.' (Chuckles)", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Fresh omelettes", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "The Daily Mail called it a 'flap for the ages!'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "you look like a guy who had a million bucks, but then lost it. (Laughs)", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "How'd she end up with you?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "(High voice) Hello, I'm... I'm Gwen. - Oh...", "c": ["Johnny", "Bob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "I saw Bob standing there and that was the first name I thought of. They're always together", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "you're gonna be drowning in phone numbers", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "this coffee table really brings out your lips", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Jake is nobody's ex and everybody's ex", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "I always have the option of online shopping and just putting things in the cart. That's not gonna happen", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "The competition is eating crow", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Not those - those are from Joyce Dewitt", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "I haven't received flowers from someone I wasn't... friends with", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "they'll likely be dead in a week", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "What other hand? - Ted!", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "What're the odds of... running into my marriage counselor here?", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "she's chosen to go with Gwen", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "You said they wouldn't ask", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Well, next time, observe someone else", "c": ["Woman at bar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Crrrash and burn, Johnny", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "But she was a dead ringer for Gwen", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Is it new? And does it come in an adult size?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "This is a leather-scented body moisturizer", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Go long, go short. Just pick one", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "A lot of people are here for drinks, David", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "ours is um... kosher", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "We're gonna start the massage circle soon", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Can I not have one thing for myself?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Fresh omelettes", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Well, I put some screens on the windows. I wouldn't really call it a renovation", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "the screens that I installed are actually attracting more bugs somehow", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Would've saved us some time", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "the ants are back and, uh, I think what we're about to do probably wouldn't end very well if a fire ant was involved", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "I was really hoping to not talk shop", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "that was probably because women used to close out their tabs and go home when you came into the bar", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Which is what the women used to say to each other when they saw you walking through the door", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Which is that what your matchmaker said!", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "Who is she and how do we get a mouth full of her?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Wingman"}, {"t": "David asking 'Who came up with the word \"bunt\"? Sounds like something you'd need to see a surgeon for.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "David: 'I was referring to the pizza. But, also, the game.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Moira's entrance: 'What do we have here? I seem to have stumbled into some sort of gentlemen's cavern.'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "When David told me he wanted to install a Japanese toilet at my place, he neglected to mention that it would involve taking out a wall.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "The 'Moira Ros\u00e9' pun and David's deadpan reaction", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "They should call it a... a Moira Ros\u00e9. [Chuckles] - Yes, that's what he has in mind.", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "[Faux excitement] Mm. What news!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "David's obviously rehearsed excuse sequence with Patrick", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "You guys might wanna rehearse a little more next time. The extraction did feel a bit strained. - [Quietly] That was you. - Wha?", "c": ["Patrick", "David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Alexis's cult recruitment language: 'are you ready for a total physical and emotional transformation?'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Stevie: 'Nah, but I'll do your class.'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Well, you pushed pretty hard for it, Alexis. - You said you'd buy me lunch.", "c": ["Stevie", "Alexis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "I kinda wish I knew that before I spent all that money on my LuLu Limes.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Yeah, I kinda wish I knew that before I spent all that money on my LuLu Limes.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "How does he know all of our names? - Am I crazy or is he really cute?", "c": ["Stevie", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Nah. - What if I just wait in the car until you're ready for lunch? 'Cause I'm just getting a really weird vibe from this place.", "c": ["Ronnie", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "What if I just wait in the car until you're ready for lunch?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Stevie's weak 'oh yeah' response to cult enthusiasm", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Johnny: 'Okay, not off to a good start, Roland.'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Maybe Patrick should get 'the talk' from old Uncle Roland.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "'Spines tend to liquidate in the presence of success'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "[Quietly] ERT-linger. ERT. LINGER. - Herb Ertlinger. - Nailed it first try.", "c": ["David", "Moira", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Moira's reaction to wine label: 'Well, hello! Who is she and how do we get a mouthful of her?!'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "David's deadpan 'Rich in potassium' about banana ros\u00e9", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Wine tasting disaster - 'tastes like Amoxicillin' and 'burning my throat'", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Johnny calling pizza 'za' and immediately regretting it", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Uh... yeah, I could go for some 'za. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Oh, that's okay, cold pizza can be good. - Mm. - Hot pizza's good. Too-hot pizza - not so good. I got that happening.", "c": ["Johnny", "Patrick", "Johnny"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Yeah, cheese, tomato sauce, bread. Can't beat that combination.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Okay, yeah, I didn't hate it, but I mean, does anybody even know what 'the gateway' is?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Gateway clarification: 'It's a symbol... But it's also a literal gateway into the sky'", "c": ["Citrus"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Alexis's cult definition: 'not the good kind... not like when you go to India to follow a long-haired, sexy man around'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Jocelyn's Ikea meatball confession", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Oh my gosh, did you not know that? My mom tried to take me to the gateway for spring break one year. I just thought I was supporting your career.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "'Cults prey on sad, weak, vulnerable people' followed by 'I'll try not to take that personally'", "c": ["Alexis", "Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Exit sign pointing straight up", "c": ["Visual gag"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "David's wine pun attempts: 'Moira-lot' and 'Moira Rose-ling'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "'I have had worst things in my mouth'", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "David's reactions: 'Don't need that' and 'Ew' to parent analogies", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "This feels remarkably selfless. - You and Patrick are two good grapes.", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Johnny's terrible small talk about concession prices", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Patrick's list of things that set David off: 'And there are many, many things that can set him off'", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Okay, speaking of Herbert, is it Herbert or Erbert? Like when people say Herb or Erb?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "'Our designated grapes!' when Johnny arrives", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "'I am offering a major apology if that'll help' followed by awkward silence", "c": ["Johnny", "Herb"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "I am offering a major apology if that'll help.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Stevie revealing she knew it was a cult all along", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "David's 'twin brothers who kiss' complaint about sharing room", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Now, do the step machines actually lift off the ground, or are the step machines just there to help you practice for when you walk onto the spaceship?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "Anyone think I might like a sleepover? - Ew... Ew!", "c": ["Roland", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Moira Ros\u00e9"}, {"t": "They're cuticle shears, John. Do you expect hedge clippers to be drawn from my purse?", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, taut? What is that, old English? How bout I hold it tight?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "How long is this gonna take, Johnny, should I cancel my New Year's plans?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I think I need to lie down, that blindfold was quite taut.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I want us to look like two very rich people that have just woken up after fainting on a dusty old couch.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I got thousands downstairs.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "No, you get to drive him to the spa where he will indulge in a relaxing five minute scalp massage followed by some light sun.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, did you say sun?", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Yeah, see, side by side my Mediterranean complexion makes you look a little anemic so the spray will just even it out.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "The Under the Sea theme is only available during winter months.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Ew Ted, they made you drink milk on the airplane?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Hi, uh sorry there were limited options at the airport gift shop. 'Have a great flight', so sweet.", "c": ["Ted", "Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, no need to milk it.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I'm reminded John of Shanghai and our Party Secretary Suite with its own aquarium, I'd lay in a claw foot tub watching the orcas.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "At Rose Video, he made me purchase the blue-ray of my gritty feminist police drama, 'Miranda Rights'.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Miranda is so sassy when she went undercover for that wet T-shirt contest.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Oh, be careful, John, lest you suffer vertigo from the dizzying heights of your moral ground.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm going for an English estate in the offseason.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Okay, well that's fraud and you're a criminal", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "You look like a cheese puff.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I'm practically Sicilian, you don't need that much sun.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "you look like one of those people who has that skin condition from eating one too many carrots.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I'd rather not walk in on her and her zumba instructor, don't wanna have to zoom back here.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "You're starting to sound like me trying to end things with B-Rock on the Backstreet Boys Millennium Tour.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "You know that I can't make big decisions under pressure, that's how I ended up with a pixie cut at prom.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sorry I'm not an alchemist, John", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "it's like trying to force oneself through the eye of a needle.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Yes, in the same way road crustations are known to make due in old soda cans.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "David, those are just ones where you look good.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "No, I was being very, very sarcastic.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "or I do have head shots from my pageant days that I could mail out to them.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I think that you are the most beautiful girl this town's ever seen.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "'Cause I did that with Harry Styles in England, it was like too rainy.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I know you, Alexis, and you always make the right decision. Eventually.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Oh, it's my JFK, just playing into the theme.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Best to leave the voice work to me when setting a mood.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Oh, I guess martinis work better than wax, huh?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "we'd be swapping mattresses.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "The man's from Boston. - John! - Coming Moira And FDR said that.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "More like I politely but forcefully asked everyone to leave.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Also, I may have forgotten about the whole milk situation.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "I skipped the class that taught us how to... care for large mammals and I don't know how to get it to leave.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "Actually, those flies are an invaluable piece of the puzzle in the study of evolution, but... yes we do have our fingers crossed that there are still a few more out there.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Presidential Suite"}, {"t": "David, when did you become the Grim Reaper of romance?", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "We were just having the most stimulating conversation about you... ganda! Ugandan... politics.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Were you guys waiting up for me? - Ah! - N-no!", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "it was like, way too expensive, but hey, I'm not the one paying", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "I say, bravo, Alexis. Fling forward!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "but you can call me Davey. Hey, how you doin', Davey?", "c": ["David", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Our Lexi is making some wonderful choices.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Like you calling the florist, and getting a quote? - That might be one of them.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Jocelyn has been smiling and waving at me from across the room in a very disturbing way", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "I'll be the mother with the baby at home looking for some extra cash, after I invested in your father's business.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "There is an opening for a waitress at Bazongas Gentlemen's Club. I guess I could try that.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "I don't know what's wrong with Bazongas.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "More casual?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "When you have that many years under your belt, you're bound to have collected a good story or two.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Artie loves to scat along with the songs. - Do you know what scatting is? - I do, not a huge fan.", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Artie's an old soul, and you know how I'm an old soul, so we're just like, two old souls having fun together. - Well, he is an old soul. I'll give you that.", "c": ["Alexis", "Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "his ex-wife owns a vineyard, and his kids and grandkids are gonna be there.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Oh my God, is he calling me right now?! That is so 2001.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Yep, you just double-tap on photo with your finger.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "speaking as someone who uses the body milk on the regs, just had a baby, don't wanna get stretch marks", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "plus it's great for diaper rash", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "You guys make it look so much harder.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Have a 'Rose-y' day! - We won't be doing 'Rose-y day.' - No?", "c": ["Jocelyn", "David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Either a flock of poultry has delivered its ova mid-flight upon our car, or I've become the victim of a vandalization!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "I can think of a handful of people who'd wanna egg David.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Stevie, you are blessed with anonymity, and thus will never have to know the crippling fear that accompanies global repute.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "After my first centerfold with Soap Opera Digest, a deranged fan deposited locks of hair into my glove compartment.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "As of now, you are my star witness. And sit low, no point endangering both our lives.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Stevie, you are blessed with anonymity, and thus will never have to know the crippling fear that accompanies global repute.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "and she puts thing, says it's a lunner menu. - Lunner!", "c": ["Artie", "Alexis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Oh don't worry, I'm over 21, Dad.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Well, please don't call me 'Dad.'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "I don't know, I was a baby at the time, but there's a photo of him holding me at Christmas. And I remember that, because that was the year Santa brought me a lighter.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "That's a smidge worse than 'Dad.'", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "I own a beautiful three-bedroom home with an above ground pool, if that's what you're worried about.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "And being a grandad's even harder. - Oh, well, maybe you might wanna give me some tips when I eventually get there.", "c": ["Artie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "You describe the town as, and I quote, 'the last place you'd ever wanna end up.' - Oh no, I described the town as the last place I'd ever want to end up.", "c": ["Roland", "Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "this could be the biggest scandal since we installed the church wheelchair ramp backwards", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "we can't afford another 'ramp-gate'", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "I specifically commended your ever-beating heart, and your elephantine generosity.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Please know that I believe, deep down, there are worse places to be. Like in your shoes right now.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "As soon as one of you details my car.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "like when you walk into a casino and win big on your first pull of the 'Basic Instinct' slot machine", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm beginning to think that that is the high point of your entire life.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "His taste in makeout music, for example, like, so weird. Like, who even is Cat Stevens?!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Well, Cat wrote some wonderful songs, honey.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "He was responsible. He did run a successful mobile-home business.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Where were you when I was dating half the cast of 'White Squall?'", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "I just don't think it's in my brand. - I don't think I've ever said that.", "c": ["Jocelyn", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "'Cause you might need it a little more than me.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "I'll have the Miso Black Cod, please. - We don't have that. - You mean, you're sold out, is more like it!", "c": ["Moira", "Twyla"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "You mean, you're sold out, is more like it!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "No noisy customers or busy cash registers here, to intrude upon your inner cogitations. - It's-it's not usually this quiet. - Oh, it's always nice and quiet here.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Can you stop saying that?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "Thank you for having us. - John, no.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "If heaven had a creek, it would be this one.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Rebound"}, {"t": "It's just the more you keep mentioning that it's a gift, the less and less it feels like a gift.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Look at you, John, doling out gift after gift this morning like the Turkish Saint Nikolaas.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "David, I didn't know she wasn't invited to the wedding. / Well, you certainly fixed that problem for yourself.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Tippy always had his fingers in a few fires.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Oh, you're looking so natural and peppy. / A bit of a rough night actually. / Well, you're fooling everyone, dear.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "It's printed right here on the cover of the book that he's handing out to all of you.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "And I'm the boss you're gonna come to when you don't understand why this guy is making you read about VHS tapes.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Not exactly the united front we had discussed, Roland.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Ronnie found termite damage in Room Six and apparently the entire foundation is about to collapse.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Well, I gave one of my kidneys to my cousin Bruce. Uh, we can see how I run on an empty tank.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "I went to school with a guy who starts 'accidental' fires. I mean, worse comes to worst, we could collect the insurance money.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "because Bruce told me my kidney was garbage.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Take the pills, Vivian. / A 'please' might be nice!", "c": ["TV Show", "Moira"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Oh, suddenly she's the director.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Well, I feel like your publicist should be there if you're meeting with Tickle Bernstein. / Tippy. It's Tippy", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "How dare you make me kill my father twice!", "c": ["TV Show"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "David would understand. I mean, not at first, but deep down he's not a total monster.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "So we're two minutes late and if this were the actual wedding, the doors would be closed and you would be locked out.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Stevie is my Maid of Honour, she's just here to eat.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Poor thing. / That's the garnish for the lobster roll.", "c": ["Johnny", "Penelope"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Lobster! Ah. Are we inviting The Vanderbilts?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "if we're not using the lettuce under the lobster roll can we just not make a side salad out of this lettuce?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "And speaking of, we are adding eight more plates. I was finally allowed to invite some friends from New York, they're a caviar crowd.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Oh, you know what they say about tenderloin; always... a risky option. It's gotta be done just, just right.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Well, you don't want people coming to your wedding and only talking about the food. / That is literally the only thing I want them talking about. What is wrong with you?", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Why not, it's not like we're paying for the samples.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Cured that vertigo years ago. I hired a hynotherapist. Then I married her. And then I divorced her. You-are-getting-very... broke.", "c": ["Tippy"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "You're looking fresh and dewy. / Gave up the drink. Strictly a wine and scotch man now.", "c": ["Moira", "Clifton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Oh, that was an actual court case. My daughter wanted to emancipate and the press couldn't get enough.", "c": ["Clifton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "I can't wait for the screener.", "c": ["Clifton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "You vomited a demon into a toilet, and then fell in and drowned.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Well, the writers insisted it was symbolic.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "She had a good run. But let's just say 'someone' reminded the producers that there's only room for one head of surgery at Sunrise General.", "c": ["Clifton (on video)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Adriana had that DUI last year. Popped a breasts, poor dear", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Perhaps a little more housework and little less mouse work might do you some good, Alexis.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Penelope asked if you wanted to crack the top of the creme brul\u00e9e and you asked, 'If we break it, do we buy it?'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Apparently there is some nest egg they set aside for Patrick and his ex-fianc\u00e9e.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "You know, we had a sizable nest egg set aside for David's wedding. He was talking about Bali for a while. We were gonna charter some jets. Fly everybody.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Hey, tell that cute bartender I'd love a sex on the beach. If she has time, I need another scotch.", "c": ["Tippy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "It was even more vicious than Vivian's getting trampled while honeymooning in Pamplona.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Think of it as a compliment. Your star was rising, and I was maybe jealous.", "c": ["Clifton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "And-and that season that you played your own brother we submitted you for Best Actress and Actor.", "c": ["Tippy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "I mean at this point, I'm willing to sell my baseball signed by Geena Davis.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "What if we bought 30 more motels? Right now.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "A wise man once wrote: 'You miss 100% of the tapes you don't play'.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "That's just the dedication, Roland. / That's as far as I got, Johnny. I'm sorry, I'm partial to historical fiction.", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "But on the condition that Clifton be written off the show - death of my choosing. And I asked for more money. / And a diamond tennis bracelet.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "I made them an offer they had to refuse.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "Okay, how is it that your daughter is also trapped in the cave but has never looked up once. You've been hanging over her for three straight episodes.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Sunrise, Sunset"}, {"t": "my t-shirt is missing the 'with'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I had yours custom-made.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "putting me in charge of your joint bachelor party was a big mistake, right?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "David sent me a seven-page e-mail with the subject line, 'The Bachelor Party of My Dreams'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Wow, that's bleak.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "isn't that a Jodie Foster movie?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "You lost me at fun group game.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Your family hasn't responded to a single email, so they will be doing what we tell them to do.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Dramatic effect. Symbolism.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "when one door closes, the floodgates open", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Radio, yes. Voiceover work is every actor's dream.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "you're not waiting on a famous person. She's already arrived!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "I got a hot little BLT over at the caf\u00e9 and I don't wanna keep her waitin'.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Well, they haven't heard the idea yet.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure I can keep this one to myself.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "if the local papers ask me about the rumour that you might be getting a phone call...", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "What could have possibly distracted you enough to do that to yourself?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "if you're talking about your style, we can bring it back to life.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "I would argue that you still have your memories.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "there is only space in this family for one unstable sibling, and I have held that title for a very long time", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Jo Foster once screened it for me privately and I would like to keep that memory safe.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "It's an escape room followed by a really sad reception", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "You're waiting on a call from him, too?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "You mean Mike Morrison. / You're waiting on a call from him, too?", "c": ["Johnny", "Roland"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Mike Morrison called?!", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Uh, Johnny Rose calling you back. Uh, bye.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "I don't think you mentioned your name.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Well, there'll be nothing flat about my performance.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Oh, that's a touch uninspired. Alexis?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "I haven't showered in like two days. Is this the lowest point of my life?", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Is anyone else not getting a signal in here?", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "how 'bout you shh for a sec", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "how about half of us do the escape room, and then the other half of us get a table at the bar?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "for some reason, thinks this is gonna be... fun!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say I hope we escape very quickly.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "This is a Galapagos-themed room!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "What?!", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Don't worry, I'm also in the Guild.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Like, some people's minds just don't work like this.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "I did tell you to wear sensible heels today, and I'm not sure this outfit is entirely appropriate.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Trust me, Stavros and I used to make out in his parents' aviary.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "No, the finch. Second row, in the middle.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Blow harder, David! / Oh my God, you blow on them! You blow on the circles then!", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "You're only saying that because you got one right!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "You can use my phone, John! / You still have your phone?! / We all have our phones!", "c": ["Moira", "David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Candle.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "My friend Prairie got one tattooed on her lower-back in seventh grade.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "I have something... / Hi, just reminding you that you can't bail on the escape room thing, even though all of us want... / I actually wanna hear that one.", "c": ["Moira", "David", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "So, for someone who is all about signs, what do you think it meant that you were the one that got us out of the Galapagos?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "being in a high-pressure situation, with time running out and a lot of people yelling at me, it just like... made me feel like myself again.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "No, I watched you slowly kill it.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "I was tracking the metaphor", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "I was tracking the metaphor", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "with his pecuniary savvy and intrepidation has turned what began as a katzenjammer of a day", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Well, we did say no speeches, so... / Guess they listened.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "Well, we did say no speeches, so...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "whoever chose those photos, they were not approved.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Bachelor Party"}, {"t": "8:15. Roland still isn't here yet. You know if we're a half hour late for this pitch meeting we'll be laughed out of the room.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Mr. Rose, you're stressing me out. And I just chugged a bottle of CBD oil.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Help? - I said support, dear.", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "There is a jet? Can I come? - I already asked. - I'll swap out with someone.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Johnny, woo! Look at me. I'm you. I can't believe your suit fits me, we're completely different sizes. And I have a much more athletic build.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "He looks the same age as the day I met him. - Oh, I'm sure he's just as handsome as he's ever been.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Rollie, there's mints in your pocket, there was a lot of onions in the omelette.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Goodbye, my conquistadors! We are all relying on you... No! We're cheering you on!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Can we maybe stop with the drum circle? Just-I'm just not feeling great. Are private planes always that bumpy?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Agree? - Agree. - Sure.", "c": ["Johnny", "Stevie", "Roland"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Uh, do you know if there is water where we're going? 'Cause I just got a sudden case of dry mouth.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "What? - Yeah, unfortunately, he had to board a flight last night to Johannesburg, but he sends his best. - Um, we can always wait 'til he gets back. - He's there for a week.", "c": ["Johnny", "Ruth"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.44, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "my parents used to take me to Rose Video all the time when I was a kid. - Oh. - I always loved the free popcorn. Nice touch.", "c": ["Ruth", "Johnny"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I like your offices. Office.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "You see a few cherished items being neatly folded into a piece of luggage and you immediately leap to conclusions.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "God forbid I find myself once again being forcefully evacuated and given no time to do a thorough sweep.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Alexis, let's not count our poultry before it's incubated", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I forgot my wallet and keys and phone. Wait. Why-why are you doing that? - Um, apparently when dad signs the deal, we are moving to New York. - What? Well, who's moving to New York? - Mom and Dad. And me. - And nobody thought to include me in this plan?", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Okay. You would have no way of knowing this, but usually when someone sends a jet for you, it means he's very interested. Trust me. And Tiger Woods.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Oh, David, you try finding an affordable one-bedroom in a place that's not Atlantic City.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Oh my God, your bedroom would have one of those little beds that comes down from the wall.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Well, good afternoon, everyone. I'd like to say, long time no see, but Mike's not here and we've just met.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Hope the jet was Johnny Rose approved. - Oh. - Although I guess at this point, coach would be Johnny Rose approved? - Quite the tumble you took there, Johnny.", "c": ["Bryce", "Tripp"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Could have happened to any one of us. But thank you for flying us in today.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "you might be thinking to yourself these motels are small, how and why should I... We invest? Well, that's a good question. - I should hope so. It's why we're all here.", "c": ["Stevie", "Bryce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Reinvigoration. [screen freezes] Um, should I just wait until it unfreezes?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Billion dollar company and none of us can stop technology from cacking out, am I right?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "What are you guys pumpin' in here, pollen? Do you mind if I have some of that water there, please. - Jesus. - Oh gosh! - Roland! What are you doing? - What?", "c": ["Roland", "Stevie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Oh gals! You shouldn't have. - Jocelyn, are we now moonlighting as town crier? - Oh, no, Moira... - Cheeky gawpus you.", "c": ["Moira", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Our husbands, at my husband's direction, are currently in New York City, vending their business to the corporate cognizant.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Hence our impending move to the Big Red Delicious.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Grace! Our timorous grinagog. I think I'll miss you most of all.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "It looks like three cartoon heads exploding. - Well, then they're blowing people's minds. What's the concern?", "c": ["Grace", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "The deal has to happen. Because it has to. Because there is no alternative. Okay? It's as simple as that.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I don't know, are you? - No. But you can share my muffin. - Seriously. What took you so long?", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "One of them was featured in season 3 of 'Sex and the City'.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I thought you'd be excited. Would half a muffin help? - I'm not sure. - I'm not sure. - Okay. Y-you took it so that's a good sign.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Well, motels are small hotels without the golf courses in case you... Well, good-good-good. So you're familiar at least.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "My family and I have been staying in a motel for the past three years. And I wouldn't trade our stay there for anything.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Johnny, even I was impressed, and I thought you had blown it for all of us. Didn't you have a briefcase?", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "What was in that briefcase anyway? - Nothing. You told me to look intimidating. So I brought a briefcase.", "c": ["Stevie", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "First a video store, now a motel chain. What? He wants to reinvent the pager next?", "c": ["Bryce"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Do you people know what it took for Johnny Rose to come back and do this? After being away for all that time? Shame on you. Shame on all of you.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Okay. I just realized you guys are flying us home. So I apologize for my outburst, but I don't regret it.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "The man's a legend.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "To Whom It May Concern: There's a man out there, my husband, he's out there trying to build back what we've lost. And... I'm sorry; 5'10', slow talker...", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "John, we're here for you. Oh, Alexis your hands as dry as an autumn leaf. - Eww.", "c": ["Moira", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I really shouldn't be saying this on company soil, but two of the junior partners and I are in the process of starting our own firm.", "c": ["Ruth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "It's like 'Deal or No Deal', but with the rest of our lives.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "So you're like a businesswoman now. - Damn right I am. - I sealed the deal. It was really me.", "c": ["David", "Stevie", "Roland"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "We only have Zampagne. - Zampagne for all!", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Don't tell me you're having lunch with Bev - After all this. - Imagine? No, I amputated those people years ago.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "But bev and her big bazoo will get the word out quicker than any group memorandum.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "I don't see any breakfast. - Mimosas! We're celebrating!", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "David? You don't have to look quite so morose. You're with your family.", "c": ["Johnny", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Ah, now that's a framer. You just deleted it.", "c": ["Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Do I detect a scintilla of lavender? Isn't it funny how the air suddenly smells sweeter now that you know we're leaving.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Well, Johnny, if you wanna be an executive, you gotta drive like an executive. It might be a bit premature spending all this money.", "c": ["Roland", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "I went to the spa. Had a pedicure and a blow-out, at the same time.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "I told the salesman I was just taking it around the block. But then I thought, maybe some cinnamon buns might just buy us a sun roof.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Your... Hair. Is in a ponytail because I didn't wash it.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Worry is but undernourished enthusiasm.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "What says, 'Patrick, you're gonna love New York' more: A gift card to Joe's pizza or tickets to 'wicked'?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "You're taking Patrick on a trip to New York? Uh, no. We're moving there with all of you! What? Do you think we're gonna stay here all by ourselves?", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "I mean, I realized I didn't need to live in a big city. I... guess I just needed to know that I could.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Can we stop talking about this? I feel like I'm doing something wrong.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "So you're finally getting out. Yeah. Um... I should probably go talk to my husband.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Oh, Alexis, garbage day is the same for the whole street. You didn't need to bring your garbage all the way here.", "c": ["Twyla", "Alexis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "No, twy, I can't take your money. I've seen how people tip here.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Okay, well, if you don't do this for money I'm scared to know what you do do for money.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "I won some money in the lottery a few years ago. Oh my god, Twy! Go you! Why did you not tell me this before?", "c": ["Twyla", "Alexis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "I just won $92 million? You won $92 million? Oh, no. Sorry. Okay, because I literally was about to pass out. Yeah. No, no. I split the $92 million with another guy.", "c": ["Twyla", "Alexis"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "And if I've learned anything from how my mom spent the money I gave her, It's that money can buy a lot of snowmobiles, But it can't buy happiness.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "This cute dress makes me smile. Hm. Not quite sure how that one got in there.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Oh, that photo of me sunbathing atop a giant VHS tape, was a staple of Times Square for a whole season.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "A clangorous, vociferous yes.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "When forced to choose between Clifton and myself, they decided mine was the bigger name.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "No, there are 30 diamonds on that thing.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "'Cause I know how flustered you can get When there's more than one thing on your plate. Hm. Unless it's food.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Um, no, uh, I love New York. It was just a weird time in my life.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Um, no, uh, I love New York. It was just a weird time in my life.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Yeah, and by then you'll have met some people That would go and do that with you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "I say, fuck 'em. / Veronica!", "c": ["Veronica", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Well, aren't you a wolf pack by which any gal would be so lucky to be protected.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "wolf pups are born blind and deaf, And in your care I have learned to see and hear the beauty in the bucolic.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Oh no. No. Let's not turn this into a hallmark movie of the week. I've done enough of those for a lifetime. Okay?", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Oh. That I shouldn't be afraid to spend money On things that are special to me. So... I bought the caf\u00e9.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Oh. That I shouldn't be afraid to spend money On things that are special to me. So... I bought the caf\u00e9.", "c": ["Twyla"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Twyla's caf\u00e9 tropical. It's got a nice ring to it, right? Yeah. Or like 'Twyla's caf\u00e9'. Yeah, I don't think so.", "c": ["Twyla", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Even though I know I'm gonna regret it, In like a minute. I think that if I'm gonna do this on my own, I need to do this on my own.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Hey Twy, like, cute dress. / Thanks. My friend gave it to me.", "c": ["David", "Twyla"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "How many years have I known you, And I still can't figure out what goes on inside your head. Join the club.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "That was a joke, in case it didn't land.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Good people. Good people do things like that. / Hence the reason why we don't understand it.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Why do you wanna go back to a place That's done nothing but hurt your feelings? Because I want those people to know that I'm not a joke. And that I've won.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Apparently there was an electronic music festival in Norway that took priority.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Because I want those people to know that I'm not a joke. And that I've won.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Did you put on deodorant today? Excuse me? I know, it might be the farm. It's the farm. Okay. I smelled something. It's not me! All right! We're leaving! Relax.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "Wait. One pizza? What is this, les mis? Yes, it's a dignified family symposium, David. Not some all-one can- consume smorgasbord.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "I don't think you can afford my quote anymore.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "I don't think you can afford my quote anymore.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "I don't think you can afford my quote anymore. Just saying it out loud makes it so real.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "You take that ember of independence and you keep it burning. Because you, my darling, are destined to be on fire!", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "September 3rd. That's my wedding day. And we're tied to the third? - Oh Moira... - Am I tied to the third?", "c": ["David", "Johnny", "Moira"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "It's just worth noting that the lie-flat seats were only on the evening flight.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "David, I promise I will make you so happy here. You fuckin' better.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "You know, at this point who even needs a wedding, Am I right? Oh, I do. I need a wedding. Big time.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "Start Spreading The News"}, {"t": "What happened? Who died? - Who died? Did Patrick die? No, Patrick didn't die, David. Then why did you startle me awake like this? My mind went straight to some kind of unthinkable tragedy.", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Well, the day did have a slight singultus - What is she talking about? - A hiccup.", "c": ["Moira", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Oh my God. To where? Bob's Garage? No, his roof was no match for the cumulus clouds.", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "I've woken up in a 'Black Mirror' episode.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "What kind of adult man rides a penny-farthing? He's a haikuist!", "c": ["David", "Moira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "You can barely get through this without crying, so that's a no.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "A note, I did bring the house down at Pat Sajak's first wedding. 'Can I buy a vow.' I had the studio audience wrapped around my finger.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "We have money now and the last thing I want is to leave town with some cheap-ass, soggy wedding.", "c": ["Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! - Yep. - Mhmm. Where are you going?! Somewhere safe.", "c": ["David", "Patrick", "Alexis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Wow, let's not get crazy. No, we should have gotten married indoors. You said indoor weddings are tacky. No. I said most weddings are tacky. And they often take place indoors.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Besides those carpets do not photograph well.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Oh no, all this was planned weeks ago. Just had a hunch you wouldn't handle stress well today.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "How did you book a massage so last-minute? Oh no, all this was planned weeks ago. Just had a hunch you wouldn't handle stress well today.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "You had like three bagels in half an hour. - They were a mistake.", "c": ["Patrick", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "'Hello, you. Are-are we all ready to spin the wheel of life today?' Even Vanna White didn't laugh at that one.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Even Vanna White didn't laugh at that one.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "A part of me feels like... I'm almost glad that we lost the money. Well, I'm happy you and your feeling are so well acquainted.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "But you wouldn't be the first hostage to fall in love with their captor.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "- Boop. - Oh.", "c": ["Alexis", "Moira"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Are we sure that's not just muscle - Yes. - All right, you answered that too quickly.", "c": ["David", "Masseur"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Johnny, when I say I know the florist, I mean, I know the florist. - Oh. - Yes! Ronnie! That's great!", "c": ["Ronnie", "Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "I mean, David's gonna have a heart attack, but it... it could work.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Uh, yeah. That was the first time I've ever received a happy ending. Sorry, what did you just say? The happy ending that the masseur gave me.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "just because I didn't have the Town Hall on my mood board doesn't mean we still can't have fun.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "He gave you a happy ending?! On our wedding day?!", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "I thought you wanted that?!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "He gave you a happy ending?! On our wedding day?! I thought you wanted that?! See, this is what Ray should be filming.", "c": ["Patrick", "David", "Ray"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "All I did, was leave an envelope full of cash and a note that said to take very good care of you.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "This is gonna make for a very strange story one day.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "I was both shocked and impressed! Okay, Marcia Clark? Court's adjourned for the day.", "c": ["David", "Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "All I did, was leave an envelope full of cash and a note that said to take very good care of you. And now that I've said those words out loud, I can see how a certain kind of person would interpret that the wrong way.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Something can fall from the ceiling and just go Bffggghhh! I'm dead! Okay. - Not me though, I'm prepared.", "c": ["Roland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "It's white. You're wearing a white dress. Duh. It's black and white themed. What was I supposed to show up in pink? Or black! You're wearing a wedding dress to my wedding!", "c": ["David", "Alexis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "It came with like a white, tulle, headdress, but I thought it overwhelmed the dress so I decided not to wear it. You're walking me down the aisle in a wedding dress.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Everyone is gonna think we're getting married to each other.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "I don't think it's gonna look like a wedding dress unless you guys are standing next to each other. She's walking me down the aisle!", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "- Is that a bow in the back? - Don't, David.", "c": ["David", "Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "I really wanted to impress you today. And now I feel like I'm ruining your wedding. I think you're giving yourself a lot of credit. My wedding was already ruined.", "c": ["Alexis", "David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Is it me, or do they look like husband and wife? Kind of.", "c": ["Wedding Guest"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Our lives are like little b\u00e9b\u00e9 crows, carried upon a curious wind.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Okay. I think we're good. Okay.", "c": ["David", "Johnny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Patrick Brewer, you are my happy ending.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "There's a time and place for sentimentality, and your only son's wedding day is hardly the moment.", "c": ["Moira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "I personally would not have missed this for the whole wide world. Okay. You're only saying that 'cause you haven't gone to bed yet.", "c": ["Stevie", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Yes, just as sweet as the liqueur wafting off your breath. I also didn't go to bed last night.", "c": ["Moira", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "Make sure the girls are shipped in a... - Temperature controlled - Temperature controlled - cargo container. Aha. - Cargo container. Aha.", "c": ["Moira", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Schitt's Creek", "ss": "schitts-creek", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Happy Ending"}, {"t": "To be out. This is out. Out is one of the single most enjoyable experiences of life.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "There are people trying to find us. They don't know where we are. 'Did you re--? I can't find him. Where did he go? He didn't tell me where he was going. He must have gone out.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Once you're out, you wanna get back. You wanna go to sleep, you wanna get up, wanna go out again tomorrow.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "The second button literally makes or breaks the shirt.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "It's in no man's land. You look like you live with your mother.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Senator, I'd like to know what you knew and when you knew it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Where's the orange indicator? It's missing. I have to do it in my head. Decaf left, regular right.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "It's very challenging work.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "No one has any interest in seeing you on caffeine.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Talking with her was like talking with you... but, you know, obviously much better.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "'Had to'? 'Had to come in'?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "You're a backup. You're a second line, a 'just in case'... a B plan, a contingency.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "What gave it away, George?", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "I rest my case.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Oh, come on. Be a 'come-with' guy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "This is the dullest moment I've ever experienced.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Look, he's got everything. He's got detergents, sprays... fabric softener. This is not his first load.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "It's signals, Jerry. It's signals.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "It's Saturday night. What is that? It's ridiculous.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Don't interrupt the cycle. The machine is working. It knows what it's doing. Just let it finish.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "You can't overdry. Why not? Same reason you can't overwet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Same thing with death. Like, once you die, you're dead. Right? Let's say you drop dead and I shoot you. You're not gonna die again. You're already dead. You can't 'overdie,' you can't overdry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Laundry day is the only exciting day in the life of clothes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "The washing machine is the nightclub of clothes. You know, it's dark, there's bubbles happening... they're all kind of dancing around in there. A shirt grabs the underwear. 'Come on, babe. Let's go.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "You come by, open up the lid and they all....", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Socks are the most amazing article of clothing. They hate their lives. They're with stinky feet... the boring drawers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "They plan it in the hamper the night before. 'Tomorrow, the dryer, I'm going. You wait here.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "The dryer door swings open, the sock is waiting up against the side wall. He hopes you don't see him, then he goes down the road.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "They get buttons sewn on their face, join a puppet show.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "You got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it... maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Maybe you ought to get the harpoon out of your chest first.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Boy, the Mets blew it tonight, huh?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "I avoided human contact all night to watch this.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "I don't know. Go hunt.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "You haven't left the building in 10 years.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "You know that I was almost a lawyer? That close, huh?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Guess who.", "c": ["Laura"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Now slide!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "That was her. She wants to stay here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "'Have you got your end? Your end's got to come down first. Easy, now. Drop it down. Drop it down. Your end's gotta come down.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Why don't you bring in an extra guy too.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "This is New York City. There must be 11 million decent hotel rooms. What do you need, a flag?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "He's getting a drink of water.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Because filth is good. What do you think, rock stars have sponges and ammonia lying around the bathroom?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Always, always do the opposite.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "You know what they need? Women need cotton balls.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "I've never had one... I never bought one, I never needed one. I've never been in a situation where I thought to myself: 'I could use a cotton ball right now. I could certainly get out of this mess.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "They're like peat moss bags. Have you seen these giant bags? They're huge... and two days later, they're out. They're gone. The bag is empty.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Two or three look like they've been through some horrible experience. Tortured, interrogated, I don't know what happened to them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "I put them on the floor like little tumbleweeds.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "I thought cockroaches would see it... figure, 'This is a dead town. Let's move on.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "A date is a job interview that lasts all night.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "'Bill, the boss thinks you're the man for the position... strip down and meet the people you'll be working with.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "The whole thing's a murder investigation.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "If she puts the bags down before she greets you, that's a good sign.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "What if it's one of those hugs where the shoulders touch... the hips are eight feet apart? Brutal.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Hand sandwich? Right. It's open to interpretation. So much depends on the layering... the quality of the wetness in the eyes--", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "That wasn't in the manual.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Bread, water... salad dressing?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Never get engaged.", "c": ["Laura"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, okay? I admit, I'm not getting the signals.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "This man is out of ideas.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Wherever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "We're honking our horns to serve you better.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Seinfeld Chronicles"}, {"t": "Do you know what this is all about? Know why we're here? To be out. This is out. Out is one of the single most enjoyable experiences of life.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "There are people trying to find us. They don't know where we are.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Then you stand around. What do you do? You go, 'We gotta be getting back.' Once you're out, you wanna get back.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "See, to me, that button's in the worst possible spot. The second button literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it. It's too high. It's in no man's land. You look like you live with your mother.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Senator, I'd like to know what you knew and when you knew it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Are you sure this is decaf? Where's the orange indicator? It's missing. I have to do it in my head.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "It's very challenging work.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "No one has any interest in seeing you on caffeine.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Talking with her was like talking with you... but, you know, obviously much better.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Nothing happened, but it was great. Nothing happened, but it was... This is great.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "You're a backup. You're a second line, a 'just in case'... a B plan, a contingency.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Oh, I get it. This is about the button.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "What gave it away, George?", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "You're beautiful.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I gave him a little caffeine. He'll perk up.", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "You can't overdry. Why not? Same reason you can't overwet. You see, once something is wet, it's wet. Same thing with death. Like, once you die, you're dead. Right? Let's say you drop dead and I shoot you. You're not gonna die again.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Laundry day is the only exciting day in the life of clothes. It is. No, think about it. The washing machine is the nightclub of clothes. You know, it's dark, there's bubbles happening... they're all kind of dancing around in there. A shirt grabs the underwear. 'Come on, babe. Let's go.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Socks are the most amazing article of clothing. They hate their lives. They're with stinky feet... the boring drawers. The dryer is their only chance to escape and they all know it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "They do escape from the dryer. They plan it in the hamper... the night before. 'Tomorrow, the dryer, I'm going. You wait here.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "They get buttons sewn on their face, join a puppet show.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "So they're showing me on television... the detergents getting out bloodstains. Is this a violent image to anybody? Bloodstains? Come on. You got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it... maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Maybe you ought to get the harpoon out of your chest first.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Oh, what are you doing? Kessler, it's a tape. I taped the game. It's 1:00 in the morning. I avoided human contact all night to watch this.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Meat? I don't know. Go hunt.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "You almost went to the game. You haven't left the building in 10 years.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "You know that I was almost a lawyer? That close, huh? You better believe it.", "c": ["Kessler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "If my father moved this, he'd have a cigarette... in his mouth the whole way. 'Have you got your end? Your end's got to come down first. Easy, now. Drop it down. Drop it down. Your end's gotta come down.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "I can't believe you're bringing in an extra bed... for a woman that wants to sleep with you. Why don't you bring in an extra guy too.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "What do you need, a flag? This is the signal, Jerry. This is the signal.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Because filth is good. What do you think, rock stars have sponges and ammonia... lying around the bathroom? You think they have a woman coming over, 'I gotta tidy up'?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "What a world it would be if you could just ask a woman what she's thinking. You know, instead I'm like a detective. I gotta pick up clues. The whole thing's a murder investigation.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "What if it's one of those hugs where the shoulders touch... the hips are eight feet apart? Brutal.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Hand sandwich? Right. It's open to interpretation. So much depends on the layering... the quality of the wetness in the eyes...", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "That was an interesting greeting. Notice that, George? Yes, the surprise blindfold greeting. That wasn't in the manual.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Bread, water... salad dressing?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "I know this sounds touristy, but I'd love to go on one of those... five-hour boat rides around Manhattan.", "c": ["Laura"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Never get engaged.", "c": ["Laura"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "You're engaged? You know, you really have no idea what it's like until you do it. I'm on this emotional roller coaster. You're engaged? You know, I can't believe it myself sometimes.", "c": ["Jerry", "Laura"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, okay? I admit, I'm not getting the signals.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "The car horn honk. Is that the beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car. The woman walks by the front of the car. He honks the... This man is out of ideas.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "Wherever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man... okay, we have a lot of areas to cover... but someone from our staff is on the scene.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "We're here. We are everywhere. We're honking our horns to serve you better.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Stake Out"}, {"t": "It seems like such an arbitrary, ridiculous thing... to just pick a finger and you show it to the person.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Someone shows me one of their fingers... and I'm supposed to feel bad. Is that the way it's supposed to work?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "I would feel worse if I got the toe than if I got the finger. It's not easy to give the toe. You gotta get the shoe off, the sock off and drive, get it up in the...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Look at that toe, buddy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "I am the master packer.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "packing is like leading men into battle. You've got to know the strengths and weaknesses of every soldier. From a collapsible toothbrush to a pair of ordinary black socks.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "The hot water takes a while to come on. So the best thing to do... is to turn it on, do all your shopping... then come back and take a shower.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Deduct a minimum of two days off all expiration dates. No meat, no leftovers, no butter. And I cannot overstate this: No soft cheeses of any kind.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "I'll eat out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "regarding sexual activity. Strictly prohibited, but if you absolutely must, do us all a big favour... do it in the tub.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "No. The waitress/actress. She just got some part... in some dinner theatre production of A Chorus Line.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "So now all day long she's walking around the apartment singing:", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Two bedrooms? Why do I need two bedrooms? I've got enough trouble maintaining activity in one.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Because then I could move in here.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "The steam's been on for 10 years. No human can turn this off.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Well, for me it's a step up. It's like moving from Iceland to Finland.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "I left the door open because I was gonna bring the spatula right back.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Well, I got caught up watching a soap opera. Bold and the Beautiful.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Because I spent my money on the Clapco D-29. It's the most impenetrable lock on the market today. It has only one design flaw: The door... must be closed!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "In your way.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Boy, I hate the idea of somebody out there returning my calls.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Do you ever find anything? - No.", "c": ["Jerry", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "I'm living with Ethel Merman without the talent.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Now, unless they give the crook his copy... I don't really think we're gonna crack this case. Do you?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "It's not like Batman, where there's three crooks in the city... and everybody pretty much knows who they are.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Did you lose a Sony? It could be The Penguin. I think we can round him up. He's dressed like a penguin. We can find him. He's a penguin.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "What do you tip a wood guy?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "You don't tip a gardener. - You can tip a gardener. - You don't need a gardener.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "I like that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Give me... a hundred and fifty dollars.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "I could go as high as... I don't know. Maybe... twenty dollars?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "So you do want it. - I want it if you don't want it. - You just said you wanted it. - No, I'm saying if a situation arose... in which you didn't want it, I might take it.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "No, it hit the table. - So what? - Interference. You can't count that. Come on, are you crazy? The coin cannot touch anything. It affects it.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Why did I put out two? Why did I put out two?!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, I know about the stuff.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "See, he swallowed. See, the guy, he swallowed.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Did he call it? - Well, no, he didn't call it. - Bang. He has to call it. Case closed. Objection overruled.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "I don't know what in the hell it is, I look terrific in that mirror. I don't know if it's the tile or the lighting. I feel like Robert Wagner in there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "They're closing in on 100, I'm saying to them, 'How can you eat that stuff?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "How can I ever have you over? You'll sit there moping. - I won't mope. - You're already moping.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "These are the guys who turned this place down. Can you believe it?", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "We're aware of the proximity to the park.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "I'm thinking of maybe buying a new TV... and smashing it over my head.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Robbery"}, {"t": "Notice when a guy's out in his driveway, working with tools, all men in the neighborhood are magnetically drawn to this activity? They come wandering out of the house like zombies.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Men hear a drill, it's like a dog whistle", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Honey, Jim's working on something over there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Now, they don't actually help the guy. No. They just want to hang around the area where work is being done.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "What are you using, a Phillips head there?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "That's why, at construction sites, they need those fences around it. That's just to keep the men out. They cut holes for us so we can see what's going on. Unless they cut those holes, we are climbing those fences.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "What are you using, the steel girders down here? Yeah, that'll hold.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "We can only thank God for that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "When that floss came flying out of my pocket.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I was buying her a container of orange drink for $5.00.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Ah, mint.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Our eyes lock. It was a horrible moment.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Without that floss in my pocket, I'd be crawling around her bedroom, looking for my glasses.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Looks like your belt is digesting a small animal.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "They got a cure for cancer. See, it's all big business.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Jerry just walked in / Take it / Who is it? / It's for you.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Why put me on the phone with him? I hate just being handed a phone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "He's turned me into a screener.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Should I suffer all my life because I like Ping-Pong?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I was 10! I would've been friends with Stalin if he had a ping-pong table.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Kramerica Industries.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "A pizza place where you make your own pie.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I make up things just to see if he's paying attention.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "What can I do-- break up? Tell him we're not right for each other? It's a guy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Approach this as if he was a woman. Break up? Absolutely.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Lenny Bruce used to go to him, and, I think, uh, Geraldo.", "c": ["Joel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Hey, we're starving here! We've waited 10 minutes.", "c": ["Joel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "This turkey sandwich-- is that real turkey or turkey roll? I don't want processed turkey. I hate it.", "c": ["Joel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "There's a bird in back? No, there's no bird, but-- How do you know for sure? You go in the back and find out. Ok?", "c": ["Joel", "Waitress"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "How can you talk to someone like that? What are you saying? You like turkey roll?", "c": ["Jerry", "Joel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "This friendship, it's not working. We're just not suited to be friends.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "It's not you, it's me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "You're my best friend. Best friend? I've never been to your apartment.", "c": ["Joel", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "If it was tonight, I would've said tonight.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "The four worst words in the English language. That or 'Whose bra is this?' Hmm, that is worse.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "So I have a decision-- do I walk or eat? You ate.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Someone says 'Get out of my life,' and that doesn't affect your appetite? Ever had their egg salad?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "She ended it. At least she could've sent me off with a sandwich.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I know a guy who vacationed on his change. Yeah? Where'd he go-- to an arcade?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I gave your ticket to Horneck. You what?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "You want me to roll 6,000 of these? What? Should I quit my job?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I've heard the expression laughing all the way to the bank. I've never seen anyone actually do it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "The bank is empty, and you still have to go through the little maze.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Get some cheese for me. I'm nearly there. I'd like a reward for this, please.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "We give you dough. You smash it, pound it, fling it in the air. You put your sauce, your cheese, and then you slide it into the oven.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "You can't have people shoving their arms into a 600-degree oven!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I just never-- I can't imagine anyone, in any walk of life, under any circumstance, wanting to make their own pizza pie.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "One day, you'll beg me to make your own pie.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I, uh, have to tutor my nephew. Yeah, he's got an exam tomorrow. Geometry. You know, trapezoid, rhombus.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Trapezoids? I know. I'm really running out of excuses with this guy.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I need some kind of excuse Rolodex.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Picking someone up at airport, jury duty, waiting for cable company.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "You ran out of underwear and can't leave the house.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "How about, you've been diagnosed as a multiple personality? You're not even you. You're Dan.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I'd rather lie the rest of my life, than go through that again.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "He was crying-- tears, accompanied by mucus.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "You made a man cry? I never made a man cry. I kicked a guy in the groin once, and he didn't cry.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "That sounds like a great idea. It would be fun. Kramer! Yeah! Perfect.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "We're doing that, uh, evening of Eastern European national anthems. Right. You know, the Wall being down and everything.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "We've got to get to the hospital to see if we qualify as those organ donors.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "I've come to the conclusion there are certain friends, they're always your friends, and you have to accept it. You see them, you don't want to. You don't call them, they call you. You don't call back, they call again.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Pretend you're hosting your own little talk show. Pretend there's a little desk and chair there, and you interview them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "The problem is that there's no way to say, 'It's been great having you on the show. We're out of time.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Male Unbonding"}, {"t": "Opening observational bit about restaurant check timing", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "More drinks! Appetizers! Quickly, quickly. It will be the greatest meal of our lives.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Then after the meal, you know, you got the pants open... you got the napkins destroyed... cigarette butt in the mashed potatoes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "What is this? How could this be? Does this look right to you? We're not hungry now. Why are we buying all this food?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Superman probably has a very good sense of humour... I never heard him say anything funny.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "But he ain't funny.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "I dropped a grape... and it disappeared... I was literally on my knees for 10 minutes looking for this stupid grape.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Were you crying? I mean, it's just a grape.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Of course, my apartment is The Actors' Studio, so we can't go there.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "You're gonna be with her 72 hours, that's a dating decathlon.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "There was once a mutant grape that terrorized an entire town in the Texas panhandle. They brought in the Army. Nobody could stop it. Apparently, it had a pit of steel.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Televising opera? Some sort of electronic thingy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Oh, the dolphin thing? They're dying in the nets.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Hey, when I'm driving, I let people in ahead of me all the time. I'm always waving everybody in. 'Go ahead. Go ahead.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "I'll have the tuna.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "I gave the guy the half-turn. Then I gave him the full turn with the eye roll. Beyond that, I'm risking a punch in the mouth.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "No puffs. Just flakes.", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Extra toothbrushes, increased phone call frequency... walking around naked.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Marlin in Vermont? Big fighting marlin.", "c": ["Jerry", "Vanessa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "I know, but this is a different paper. I thought maybe they have different... sources.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "There's one thing I don't understand. Why does it please you?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "You could have invested in my roll-out tie dispenser. You're in a restaurant. You got a very big meeting coming up. 'Oh, man!' You got mustard on your tie. You just... tear it off and... you got a new one right here. Then, you're gone.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "You're gone, all right.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "You mind if they use your bed? Because they're good people, Jerry. You know, they're anarchists. They're... They're huge.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "'How you feeling, Mr. Wilkenson? By the way, what's happening with Centrax?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "It's a hand puppet. What am I gonna do with this?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "What do you think, this is a little scam I have? I take this tiny shirt all over the city... conning dry cleaners out of money?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "I shrunk it.", "c": ["Dry Cleaner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "They're cleaning our clothes... but they're not getting anything wet. It's all dry. There's no such thing as dry-cleaning.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "I don't think that's what they're doing, have 80 guys going: 'Come on. Hurry up. There's a lot of shirts today.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "My uncle Pete showers four times a day... and he can't count to 10, so don't give me hygiene.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "What do you think a hit man would charge to rub out a couple of cats? Well, it couldn't be too expensive. Thirteen, fourteen bucks a cat?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "What do you think, Jerry, you wanna make 28 bucks? I'm no cat killer.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "How about we go over there right now... and we shave them?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's nuts. You wanna bump off a couple of cats.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Stranger leering through a pair of binoculars 10 floors up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Perhaps they had some sort of a falling out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "I don't know what he's got, but for a sick guy, he's very strong.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Oh, God, get me out of here. What a mistake. What made me think this would work? And I've still got another day. I've got nothing left to say.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "That's a nice watch. Yeah. Do you wind it? No. It's got a little battery. Well, that's good.", "c": ["Jerry", "Vanessa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Maybe I can get an extension cord and hang myself.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Six points? It's up six points... I just got fluctuated out of $4000.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "That's probably why we're staying here... because you lost money on the stock.", "c": ["Vanessa"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "I don't know, $8000. It's a Hyundai. Get out of here.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "You don't recover that quickly from a nose job.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "I gotta say, that's pretty bad, losing out to a cat. Almost as bad as losing out to a perfume.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "Too bad you can't get your buddy Superman... to fly around the Earth at super speed... and reverse time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "The Tramco Corporation... They're about to introduce some sort... of a robot butcher.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "People always say, 'You should have your money working for you.' I've decided I'll do the work... I'm gonna let the money relax. Because you send your money out there... working for you, a lot of times it gets fired. 'Yeah, I remember your money. Showing up late, taking time off. We had to let him go.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The Stock Tip"}, {"t": "I'm always in traffic with the lane expert. Do you know this type of person? Constantly re-evaluating their lane choice. Never quite sure: 'Is this the best lane for me, for my life?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Yeah, come on over here, pal. We're zooming over here. This is the secret lane, nobody knows about it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "But we know that in the future, traffic will get even worse than that. What will happen? Will it start moving backwards?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "'Boy, this is some really bad traffic now. This is really bad. I'm gonna try and get off, and get back on going the other way.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I'd be looking at her face, I'd go, 'Come on. Love her. Love her.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "She'd tell me she loved me. All right, so at first, I'd just look at her. I'd go, 'Oh, really?' Or, 'Boy, that's... That's something.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I'm on the couch, she's on the chair. I get up to go to the bathroom, I come back... she's on the couch. What am I supposed to do? Not do anything? I couldn't. I would've insulted her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Do it like a Band-Aid. One motion, right off!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "No, I don't want to sit in back. I'll be left out of the conversation. I'll have to stick my chin on top of the seat.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I think you're afraid to sit next to a man. You're a little homophobic, aren't you? Is it that obvious?", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "And then the verbal hellos stopped... and we just went into these little sort of nods of recognition.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Now there's this intense animosity whenever we pass. I mean, it's like we really hate each other. It's based on nothing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "A relationship is an organism. You created this thing... and then you starved it, so it turned against you. Same thing happened in The Blob.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Would you do that? If I was a different person.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Yes, I know I have the wrong number. I want to know if I dialled wrong or...", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Why? Why do they just hang up like that?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I'm not pulling a shopping cart. Am I supposed to wear a kerchief... put stockings on rolled below my knee?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I told her, in the kitchen. Which was risky, because it's near all the knives.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "There's this voice inside me going, 'You're doing it.' Then she started to cry, and I weakened a little bit. I almost relented, but the voice, Jerry, the voice said: 'Keep going. Keep going. You're almost out.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "It's like I was making a prison break. I'm heading for the wall. And I trip and twist my ankle and they throw that light on you. You know? Somehow I get through the crying and I keep running. Then the cursing started. She's firing at me from the guard towers.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I like that Marlene. What's her number? Yeah, no, I... I don't think so.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "As I'm getting out, I feel all these eyes on me. So I look up, and everyone is just staring at me.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, Jerry... just because George and I don't see each other... doesn't mean we shouldn't stay friends. No. Good enough. I'm really glad we got that settled.", "c": ["Marlene", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "The great thing, when you read Moby Dick the second time... Ahab and the whale become good friends.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "And it's those meaningless, purposeless, blather calls. She never asks if I'm busy or anything. I just pick up the phone and she's in the middle of a sentence.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You know, sometimes she'll go, 'Hello, Jerry?' And I'll go, 'Oh, hi, Marlene.' And then it's, 'Jerry... I don't know sometimes.' 'Know sometimes.'", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You can't. It's impossible. There's no break in the conversation where you can go: 'All right, then.' You know, it just goes on and on without a break in the wall.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Just do it like a Band-Aid. One motion. Right off!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Yeah. 'Doctor.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Waiting room. I hate when they make you wait in the room. Because it says waiting room. There's no chance of not waiting... because they call it the waiting room. They're gonna use it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You're thinking about them. Things like: 'I wonder what he's got.' And, 'Soon as she goes, I'm getting her magazine.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You stand up and kind of look around at the other people. 'Well, I guess I've been chosen. I'll see you all later.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You think you're gonna see the doctor, but you're not, are you? No. You're going into the next waiting room. The littler waiting room.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You ever see these operating theatres that they have... with, like, stadium seating? You don't want them doing anything... that makes other doctors go, 'I have to see this.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "'Are you kidding? Are they gonna really do that to him? Are there seats? Can we get in?' Do they scalp tickets to these things? 'I got two for the Winslow tumour. I got two.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I was in there for two minutes. He didn't do anything. Touch this, feel that. 75 bucks. What's 75 bucks? What, am I seeing Sinatra in there? Am I being entertained? I don't understand this.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "We just kissed a little. People kiss. Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "Marlene"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "See? That stinks. You can't eat that. Take that back. Cantaloupe like this should be out of circulation.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Jerry, have you ever taken a bath in the dark? I'm not talking into the soap right now. Call me back.", "c": ["Marlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "She's got this psychosexual hold over me. I just want her. I can't breathe. It's like a drug.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Why would George want to deprive you of pleasure? Is it just me? It's partially you, yeah.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Apartment elevators are always slower than offices... because you don't have to be home on time. Unless you're married to a dictator. Because they'd be very demanding people.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Well, you know what they say, lucky in love, unlucky with fruit.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "So I walked up behind him, tapped him on the shoulder and said: 'Hi, remember me?' And he furrows his brow... as if he's really trying to figure it out. So I said to him... I said, 'You little phoney. You know exactly who I am.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You are the queen of confrontation. You're my new hero. You've inspired me. I'm gonna call George about something right now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Am I a bad person? Did I do something terrible? You're a fine person. You're a humanitarian. She's very sexy. That voice. She's driving me crazy. I know. I know.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I swallowed a fly! What do I do? What can happen?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I saw your act. My act? What does that have to do with anything? Well, to be honest... it just didn't make it for me. It's just so much fluff.", "c": ["Marlene", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You're a cashier.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Women need to like the job of the guy they're with. If they don't like the job, they don't like the guy. Men know this. Which is why we make up the phoney, bogus names for the jobs we have. 'Right now, I'm the regional management supervisor. I'm in development, research, consulting.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Men, on the other hand, if they are physically attracted to a woman... are not that concerned with her job, are we? Men don't really care. Men just go, 'Really, slaughterhouse? That where you work? Interesting. You got a big cleaver, just lopping their heads off? Sounds great. Listen, why don't you shower up... and we'll get some burgers and catch a movie.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Ex Girlfriend"}, {"t": "They didn't wanna move to Florida, but they're in their 60s... ...and that's the law.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "They got the leisure police. They pull up in front of the old people's house with the golf cart. 'Let's go, pop. White belt, white pants, white shoes, get in the back. Drop the snow shovel, right there. Drop it!'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You ever sit there, and the conversation's so boring, it's so dull? And you start to fantasize. You know, you think: 'What if I just got up and jumped out that window?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Just crash right through the glass, you know. Come back. There's broken glass. Everybody's upset. 'No, I'm all right. I was just a little bored there. And, no, I'm fine. I came back. I wanna hear more about that Hummel collection, Aunt Rose. Let's pick it up right there.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Who wears a jacket like this? What's wrong with that nice grey one? You have beautiful clothes. They sit in your closet. Morty, you can't wear this.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "- Are you getting that? - I thought you were getting it. - Should I pick up? - Do you want me to get that? - I'll get it. - I'll get it.", "c": ["Morty", "Helen"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Would you make this thing lower? - I can hear it on the street.", "c": ["Helen", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "We won. I made an incredible play in the field. It was a tag-up at third base. I threw the guy out, from left field, on a fly. We'll be in the championship game Wednesday because of me. It was the single greatest moment in my life.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "This is your greatest moment, a game? Well, no. Sharon Besser, of course.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You know what my greatest moment was, don't you? In 1946, I went to work for Harry Flemming... ...and I came up with the idea for the beltless trench coat.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Well, the man's an individualist. He worked for Harry Flemming. - He knows what he's doing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I don't even know them. What is she, your second cousin? I mean, I met them three times in my life. I don't know her either. She made me fly from Florida for this, and then she criticizes my jacket.", "c": ["Jerry", "Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "How come he gets to leave? If I wind up sitting next to Uncle Leo, I am leaving. He's always grabbing my arm when he talks to me. I guess because so many people have left in the middle of his conversation.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "And it's always about Jeffrey, right? Yeah. He talks about him like he split the atom. The kid works for the Parks Department.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I'm completely changing the configuration of the apartment. You're not gonna believe it when you see it. Whole new lifestyle. What are you doing? Levels.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I'm getting rid of all my furniture, all of it... ...and I'm gonna build these different levels. You know, with steps. And it'll all be carpeted. With a lot of pillows. You know, like ancient Egypt.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You drew up plans for this? No. No, it's all in my head.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Well, you don't think I can, huh? No, it's not that I don't think you can. I know that you can't, and I'm positive that you won't.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Well, I got the tools. I got the pillows. All I need is the lumber.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "So now the Parks commissioner is recommending Jeffrey for a citation. Right, for the reducing of the pond scum? No, no, no. For the walking tours.", "c": ["Leo", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, where the people eat the plant life, the edible-foliage tour.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "But you wanna know something? Whenever he has a problem with a high-powered big shot... ...from the Parks Department... ...you know who he calls? Mickey Mantle?", "c": ["Leo", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Jerry. Jerry. Did you taste these peas? These peas are great. These peas are bursting with country-fresh flavour. Phenomenal peas.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You're going? I don't really eat dessert. I'm dieting. Yeah, I can't eat dessert either. The sugar makes my ankles swell up, and I can't dance.", "c": ["Manya", "Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Can't dance? He's kidding, Manya. Is that a joke?", "c": ["Elaine", "Manya"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I hear the fellow owns a couple racehorses. You know, trotters, like at Yonkers. Horses. They're like big riding dogs.", "c": ["Isaac", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "What about ponies, huh? What kind of abnormal animal is that? And those kids who had their own ponies. Oh, I know. I hated those kids. In fact, I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I had a pony.", "c": ["Manya"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't really mean a pony per se.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "When I was a little girl in Poland... ...we all had ponies. My sister had pony. My cousin had pony. So, what's wrong with that? Nothing, nothing at all. I was just merely expressing...", "c": ["Manya", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "He was a beautiful pony, and I loved him. Well, I'm sure you did. Who wouldn't love a pony? Who wouldn't love a person that had a pony? You. You said so.", "c": ["Manya", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "No, see, we didn't have ponies. I'm sure at that time in Poland, they were common. They were... ...probably like compact cars.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant is gonna have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats... ...coming into New York Harbour... ...I never saw one of them sitting on a pony.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "But why would anyone come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to go to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense. Am I wrong?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I just hope that whole pony incident didn't put a damper on the trip. Oh, don't be ridiculous. It was a misunderstanding. Hey, I agree with him. Nobody likes a kid with a pony.", "c": ["Helen", "Morty", "Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "So how are your levels coming along? Well, I decided I'm not gonna do it. Really? What a shock.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "So... ...when do I get my dinner? There's no dinner. The bet's off. I'm not gonna do it. Yes, I know you're not gonna do it. That's why I bet.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "We didn't bet on if you wanted to do it... ...we bet on if it would be done. And it could be done. Well, of course it could be done. Anything could be done, but it only is done if it's done.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Ma. Ma, up here. Don't get in the cab. Manya died. Manya died!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You know what this means? We lost the supersaver. Those tickets are nonrefundable. She just had a checkup. The doctor said she was fine. Unless... What? What? Nothing.", "c": ["Helen", "Morty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You don't think...? What, the pony remark? Oh, don't be ridiculous. She was an old woman. You don't think I killed her?", "c": ["Helen", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You know what that flight will cost us? It was an innocent comment. I didn't know she had a pony. Maybe we could get an Army transport flight. They got a base in Sarasota, I think.", "c": ["Morty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I mean, the whole thing was taken out of context. It was a joke.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "The funeral's Wednesday. Wednesday? What...? What Wednesday? Two o'clock, Wednesday. What? I got a softball game on Wednesday. It's the championship.", "c": ["Helen", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I mean, who has a funeral on a Wednesday? That's what I wanna know. I mean... ...this is the championship. I'm hitting everything.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "We don't understand death. And the proof of this is that we give dead people a pillow.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "And, I mean, hey, you know. I think if you can't stretch out and get some solid rest at that point... ...I don't see how bedding accessories really make the difference.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I mean, they got the guy in a suit, with a pillow. Now, is he going to a meeting, or is he catching 40 winks? I mean, let's make up our mind where we think they're going.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "How long does a funeral take? Depends on how nice the person was... ...but you gotta figure even Oswald took 45 minutes.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You know, if the situation were reversed... ...and Manya had some mahjong championship or something... ...I wouldn't expect her to go to my funeral. I would understand.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You know, I've been thinking. I cannot envision any circumstance... ...in which I'll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How's it gonna happen?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You know, funerals always make me think about my own mortality... ...and how I'm actually gonna die someday. Me, dead. Imagine that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "They always make me take stock of my life... ...how I've pretty much wasted all of it and how I plan to continue wasting it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I know, then you say to yourself: 'From this moment on, I'm not gonna waste any more of it.' But then you go, 'How? I mean, what can I do that's not wasting it?' Well, is this a waste of time? What should we be doing? Can't you have coffee with people?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You know, I can't believe you're even considering not playing. We need you. You're hitting everything. He has to go. He may have killed her.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Me? What about you? You brought up the pony. Oh, yeah, but I didn't say I hated anyone who had one.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I just don't see what purpose it's gonna serve, you going. I mean, you think dead people care who's at their funeral? They don't even know they're having a funeral. It's not like she's in the back going, 'I can't believe Jerry didn't show up.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Maybe she's there in spirit. How about that? If you're a spirit, and you can travel to other dimensions and galaxies... ...and find out the mysteries of the universe... ...you think she'll be at Drexler's Funeral Home on Ocean Parkway?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "George, I met this woman. She is not travelling to any other dimensions.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Do you know how easy it is for dead people to travel? It's not like getting on a bus. One second: It's all mental.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Three hundred a month? Oh, my God.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Oh, how she loved that pony. Even in her declining years, whenever she would speak of it... ...her eyes would light up. Its lustrous coat, its flowing mane. It was the pride of Cracow.", "c": ["Rabbi"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Well, game's starting just about now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You got your degree. They don't care. They just wanna see something.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Your cousin Jeffrey is switching parks. They're transferring him to Riverside... ...so he'll completely revamp that operation, you understand? Yeah. He'll do in Riverside now what he did in Central Park. More money.", "c": ["Leo", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "You don't understand. I've never paid full fare.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "She was much more upset about the potato salad.", "c": ["Isaac"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Although, they say it's a dry heat. Dry, wet. What's happening with your apartment?", "c": ["Isaac", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I have an idea. Leave the winter clothing in the apartment... ...and I'll watch it for you. And I'll live there, and I'll make sure that nothing happens to it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Oh, the apartment. Jeffrey's taking the apartment. Oh, Jeffrey. You know Jeffrey.", "c": ["Isaac", "Jerry", "Leo"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "It's raining. It's raining? It's raining. The game will be postponed. We'll play tomorrow.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Who gets picked off in softball? It's unheard-of. Never happened to me before. I remember saying to myself, 'Why is Jerry so far off the base?'", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I'll have to live with this shame for the rest of my life. Look. Then in the fifth inning, why did you take off on the pop fly? I thought there were two outs.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "It was the single worst moment of my life. What about Sharon Besser? Oh, well, of course, 1973.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Wait, you think Manya showed up during the game and put a hex on me? I never saw anyone play like that. But I went to the funeral. Yeah, but that doesn't make up for killing her.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Maybe Manya missed the funeral... ...because she was off visiting another galaxy that day. Don't you think she would've heard I was there? Not necessarily.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Who figures an immigrant is gonna have a pony? What is the pony? What is the point of the pony? Why do we have these animals, these ponies? What do we do with them, besides the pony ride?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "Well, why ponies? What are we doing with them? I mean, police don't use them for, you know, crowd control. 'Hey, you wanna get back behind the barricades? Hey. Hey, little boy. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Just... Behind the barricades.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "So somebody, I assume, genetically engineered these ponies. Think they could make them any size? Like the size of a quarter if they want? That would be fun for Monopoly, wouldn't it? Have a little pony. And you put him on the... 'Baltic, that's two down. Go ahead. Hold it. There. Baltic, that's... Yeah, Fine. Right there, hold it right there.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Pony Remark"}, {"t": "I hate clothes, okay? I hate buying them. I hate picking them out of my closet. I can't stand every day trying to come up with little outfits for myself.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "I think eventually... fashion won't even exist. We'll all be wearing the same thing. Because any time I see a movie or a TV show... where there's people from the future... they're all wearing the same thing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "One-piece silver jumpsuit, V-stripe and boots. That's it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "We should come up with an outfit for Earth. An Earth outfit. We should vote on it. Candidates propose different outfits. No speeches.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "They walk out, twirl, walk off. We just sit in the audience and go, 'That was nice. I could wear that.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "The back? They never find anything in the back. If they had anything good, they'd put it in the front. Why don't they open an entire store for the back? Call it 'Just Back.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "All back. No front. You walk in the front, you're immediately in the back.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "I always felt he deserved a wider audience. I'm not so sure he wants one.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Frankly, I prefer the company of nitwits.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "So that's why we're not together anymore.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "How much is it? - Oh, my God.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Bad? Very bad? - You have no idea. - I have some idea. - No idea. - I've got a ballpark. - There's no park... and the team has relocated.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "I hate these moments. I'm hearing the dual voices now, you know? 'What about the money?' 'What's money?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "That's definitely you. - Really? - That's more you... than you've ever been.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "I paid what it costs. - How much? - What's the difference? - You're not gonna tell me? - I'd rather not say out loud. It's embarrassing.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Whoa, Nelson.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "It just comes out. I have no control over it. I'm singing it on elevators, buses. Singing in front of clients. It's taking over my life.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "You know, Schumann went mad from that. - Artie Schumann from Camp Hatchapee? - No, you idiot. - What are you, Bud Abbott? What are you calling me an idiot for?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "He had to be institutionalised. - Really? - Well, what if it doesn't stop? - Oh, that I really needed to hear. That helps a lot.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "He'll look at us... like he's backstage at a puppet show.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Like, tonight I might've been a little nervous, but inside this jacket... I am composed, grounded, secure that I can meet any social challenge.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Can I say one thing to you? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality. - Absolutely. - It's fabulous.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "So, what was it, 400? Five hundred? Did you pay 500 for this? Over 6? Can't be 7. Don't tell me you paid $700 for this jacket.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "You are sick! Is that what you paid for this jacket? Over 700?! What did you pay for this jacket? I won't say anything. I wanna know what you paid for this jacket. Oh, my God! A thousand dollars?!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey, will you do me a solid?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "I'd like to. I've never done a solid before.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Two minutes. Believe me, I know his two minutes. By his conception of time, his life will last over 2000 years.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "There's never been an appointment in my life... where I wanted the other guy to show up.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Like it? Don't you find that you get more without it?", "c": ["Alton", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah. Sometimes she's on time... and sometimes she's late. I guess... today she's late.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Who said? - The weather guy, Dr. Waldo.", "c": ["Alton", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "I don't need anybody to tell me it's gonna rain. Oh, no. Of course not. All I have to do is stick my head out the window.", "c": ["Alton", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Which one's supposed to be the funny guy? - Oh, he's the comedian. - I'm just a regular person.", "c": ["Alton", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tail gunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific. There's nothing funny about that.", "c": ["Alton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "I thought it was just brilliant. - Drivel. - Yeah, maybe some parts. - What parts? - The... drivel parts.", "c": ["Jerry", "Alton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's good. He'd clunk our heads together like Moe.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "All fathers are intimidating. They're intimidating because they are fathers. Once a man has children, for the rest of his life his attitude is: 'The hell with the world, I can make my own people.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "I'll eat whatever I want. I'll wear whatever I want... and I'll create whoever I want.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "What kind of an operation? - Bone marrow.", "c": ["Alton", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Yeah, they should have taken care of Castro when they had the chance. Like we did in Guatemala in '53.", "c": ["Alton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Well, Guatemala... - Sure. Guatemala.", "c": ["George", "Alton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "He was gonna tow it with me in the car.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "He said he was getting instructions, that each dove has a different diet.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "The lift. Like the lure of the Siren's song. Never what it seems to be. Yet who among us can resist?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Pipe down, chorus boy.", "c": ["Alton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Snow, that can't be good for suede, can it? - I wouldn't think so. - What should I do?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "What the hell do you call this? - I turned my jacket inside out. - Well, you look like a damn fool.", "c": ["Alton", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Well, you're not walking with me and my daughter dressed like that. That's for damn sure.", "c": ["Alton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Thanks again for coming last night. Dad said he had a great time. - Is he still in town? - He's driving back to Maryland tonight.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "I didn't wanna tell you this, but usually he hates everyone.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Said you reminded him of somebody he knew in Korea.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Dad thinks George is gay. - Oh, because of all the singing? - No. He pretty much thinks everyone is gay.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "Boy, it's too bad you gave me this one too.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "I had a leather jacket that got ruined. Now, why does moisture ruin leather? I don't get this. Aren't cows outside most of the time?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse: 'Let us in. We're all wearing leather! Open the door. We're gonna ruin the whole outfit here.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "'Is it suede?' 'I am suede. The whole thing is suede. I can't have this cleaned. It's all I got.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The Jacket"}, {"t": "The bad thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV sliding off the sofa with crumbs on their face.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "'We have soda! We have soda! We have soda!' Jumping, laughing, flying through the air. It's a can of soda.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Maybe I'm putting too much ice in mine.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "When women smile, I don't know what it means. Sometimes I interpret it like they're psychotic.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Remember Quayle when Bentsen gave him the Kennedy line? That's what I looked like.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "For me to ask a woman out, I gotta get into a mental state like karate guys before they break bricks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "And to cover my nervousness, I started eating an apple. I think if they hear you chewing on the other end of the phone, makes you sound casual. Yeah, like a farm boy.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Enthusiastic hi, that's beautiful. I don't get the enthusiastic hi, I'm out of there.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "It's like robbing a bank. Don't loiter in front of the teller with a bag of money. You make your hit and get out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I can't stand doing laundry, that's why I have 40 pairs of underwear. Because instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over 360 pair. That way, I only have to do wash once a year.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Let me hear you try a Scottish accent. That's Irish. Irish, Scottish. What's the difference, lassie?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "No, thanks. I can't drink coffee at night. It keeps me up.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Awkward silence and abrupt scene end after George's coffee rejection", "c": ["George", "Carol"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I'd invite you up, but the place is being painted. Unless you want to go to your place. Okay, but there's no cake or anything, if that's what you're looking for.", "c": ["Jerry", "his date"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "'Take it easy.' 'Take it easy!'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I think if one's going to kill oneself, the least you could do is leave a note. It's common courtesy. That's just the way I was brought up. Values are important.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Tan pants. Why do I buy tan pants, Donna? I don't feel comfortable in them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I can't begin to tell you how much I hate that commercial.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "You like that commercial? I like that commercial. You like that commercial?", "c": ["Jerry", "Donna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I could sit on a porch and wrestle around and maybe even be part of a real bull session.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "They're not talking about pants. They're talking about nothing. That's the point.", "c": ["Donna", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "All those quick shots of the pants. Just pants, pants, pants, pants. What is that supposed to be?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "The guy will be like, 'I don't think her eyebrows are even. Could I look at uneven eyebrows for the rest of my life?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Germs were building a town in there. They were constructing offices. Houses near the drain were going for $150,000.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Coffee's not coffee. Coffee is sex. Maybe coffee was coffee. Coffee's coffee in the morning, not at 12:00 at night.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Yeah, people who work at NORAD who are on 24-hour missile watch.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Women don't want to see need. They want a take-charge guy, a colonel, a Kaiser, a czar.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I don't know what your parents did to you.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Someone's in a life-and-death situation, and we're thinking: 'Sorry, buddy. Should've thought of that when you were eating cheese omelets for breakfast every morning for the last 30 years.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "That's as good as anything you do.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I can't call a woman with other people in the room.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Don't do the apples. It's enough already with the apples.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Hi, it's Carol. I'll get back to you. Hi! It's George. George Costanza. Remember me? The guy who didn't come up for coffee.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "The ball's in your court. Take it easy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I'm dead. I'm a dead man. That's it, I'm dead. I'm a dead man. Dead man.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "The little light's blinking right now. 'Come and listen to the idiot. Hey, everybody, the idiot's on!'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "And he blurted out business information he wasn't supposed to. It would have cost him $15,000, so he waited outside the guy's house. When the guy came home, he went with him and switched the tape.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I have never seen one episode of I Love Lucy in my life ever.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I'm lactose intolerant. Really? I have no patience for lactose and I won't stand for it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Donna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "You're the one that likes that commercial! He told you that?", "c": ["Kramer", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Boy, I bet you got a regular Algonquin Round Table there.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Cotton Dockers! One hundred percent cotton Dockers. If they're not Dockers, they're just pants.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Where the hell do you get the nerve? You invite me up for coffee, and then you don't call me back for four days? I don't like coffee. I don't have to come up! I'd like to get one more shot at the coffee so I can spit it in your face!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "She called my office. She said she's been in the Hamptons since Sunday. Her machine broke, and she's been using her old machine. And she doesn't have the beeper for it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "You are such a wuss. A wuss? Did you call me a wuss?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "The signal is... I'll call out 'Tippy-toe!' Tippy-toe? I don't think so. You don't like tippy-toe? No tippy-toe.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I'll sing. What song? 'How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?' What is that? It's a lovely song.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "'Lemon Tree.' Peter, Paul and Mary? No. Trini Lopez.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "To hell with this! I'm scared. Walk away. Cancel everything.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I know Jerry. He has this phobia about public toilets.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "It went away. That's weird. No, no, that can happen. I've read about that in medical journals.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Tippy-toe! Tippy-toe! Lemon tree!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "That's what you had to tell me? Your father wears sneakers in the pool?", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "No. Nothing here. Let's go.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "After I talked to you, my neighbour called, played my messages to me. Yours were hilarious. We were both cracking up. I just love jokes like that.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "I love my phone machine. I wish I was a phone machine. If I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to, I could go: 'Excuse me. I'm not in right now. If you could just leave a message, I could walk away.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Because you can't slam down a cordless phone. You get mad at somebody on a real phone: 'You can't talk to me like that.' Bang. Cordless phone. 'You can't talk to me like that.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Phone Message"}, {"t": "Well, I painted my apartment again. I've been living there for years. Every time I paint it, it gets me down. I look around and I think, 'Well, it's a little bit smaller now.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I don't know where the wall outlets are. I just look for a lump with two slots in it. Looks like a pig is trying to push his way through from the other side.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "My idea of the perfect living room would be the bridge on the starship Enterprise. You know what I mean? Big chair, nice screen, remote control.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "That's why Star Trek really was the ultimate male fantasy. Just hurtling through space in your living room watching TV.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "The aliens were always dropping in because Kirk was the only one that had the big screen. They'd come over Friday nights. Klingon boxing. Got to be there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "What did you do? Mousse. I moussed up.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I feel like I've had two lives. My pre-mousse, and now I begin my post-mousse.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Oh, God... I keep forgetting to enter that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Harold and Manny.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "She didn't have her wig on. It was horrifying.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Well, Manny wanted it for his brother, but he got deported.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Manny, look. Kramer put mousse in his hair.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Sitting is good if you faint, but standing is good for jumping up and down. I can't decide.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Jumping up and down?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Oh, Elaine, you know the way I am... rarely ever thinking of myself. My only concern is the welfare and happiness of those close to me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Sure, it hurts sometimes to give and give and give...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Would you please?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I got you an apartment in this building. - No! - Yes. - No! You didn't! - Yes. I did.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Four hundred a month? Only 400 a month? Four hundred a month.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "We can exchange keys so we can come in and out. Oh, this is gonna be great. All the time. All the time.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "The problem with talking is nobody stops you from saying the wrong thing. I think life would be a lot better if it was like you're always making a movie.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "You're out somewhere with people. 'Gee, you look pregnant. Are you?' Cut, cut, cut! That's not gonna work at all.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I could tell you but you won't believe it. It's not believable. How could I have done that?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "You think you're an idiot, but with all due respect, I'm a much bigger idiot than you are. Don't insult me, my friend. Remember who you're talking to. No one's a bigger idiot than me.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Ever ask an ex-girlfriend to move into your building? Ever go to a singles' weekend in the Poconos?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "You'll have all your sex at women's apartments. It'll be a permanent road trip. Forget about the home-bed advantage.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "But I need the home-bed advantage. Of course. We all do.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "You know that little guy in your head who watches everything you say? He went for a cup of coffee. And, in that second, ruined my life.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "My censor quit two years ago. Checked into a clinic, emotionally exhausted.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "For that rent, she'd take a bath in the toilet tank if she had to.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Look at this woman feeding her baby greasy, disgusting, coffee-shop corned beef hash. Isn't that child abuse?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I'd like to have a kid. Of course, you have to have a date first.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Yeah, the guy with the flat head. He's a cube.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "You're a good-looking guy. What do you want to walk around like that for? No, I'll put a half a can of mousse in my head like you.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I told you I don't like these sponges. They're too small. I want a big sponge! You can't pick up anything. There's no absorption.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Because somebody offered Manny $5000 for the apartment. I don't want to do it. Manny wants to do it.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I used to think that the universe is a random, chaotic sequence of meaningless events. But I see now that there is reason and purpose to all things.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Religion, my friend. That's what happened to me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "And how does the baldness fit into that plan?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Have you ever gotten up in the morning and felt that it's great to be alive? That every breath is a gift of sweet life from above.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Winston Churchill said, 'Why stand when you can sit?'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Come on. She'll pay you back. What's 5 grand between friends? Of course I'd pay you back. Yeah. So, what's the problem?", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "People don't turn down money. It's what separates us from the animals.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "You're not normal. You're a great guy. I love you, but you're a pod.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I, on the other hand, am a human being. I sometimes feel awkward, uncomfortable, even inhibited in certain situations with the other human beings.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Yeah. Because I'm a pod.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Yeah, my wife couldn't make it today. She's got some thing with her mother. Who knows what's going on with her?", "c": ["Man at party"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "What's to see? A woman from Norway, a guy from Kenya and 20,000 losers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I mean, the bull charges, you move the cape... what's so hard?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "You would have to be a real loser to try something like that.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "That's too bad... because I really have a thing for bald guys with glasses.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I've never been able to be with just one person. I can, however, carry on strictly physical relationships which can last for years and years.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I'm not. It's just a sociological experiment.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "You have no idea what an idiot is.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "So, please, a little respect. For I am Costanza, lord of the idiots.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "You're all winners!", "c": ["Marathon announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Just put some soap on your finger. It'll slide right off. Well, then try axle grease.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "I just found a guy who's willing to pay $10,000 for the apartment. Ten thousand? Cash! Who would pay that much? He's in the music business.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Well, occasionally, I like to help the humans.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "If I was up there, you'd never hear a peep out of me. I'm as quiet as a mouse.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "What am I, Fred Mertz now? What's happening to me? Can I do this? Am I a shusher? I used to be a shushee.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "They just hear... 'Was that a shush? I think somebody shushed me?' Some people you can't shush. There's always a certain group. They're talking. Everyone around them is shushing them. They won't shush. They're the unshushables.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "They tease you with, 'You may have already won.' I'd like once for a sweepstakes company to have some guts. Just tell people the truth one time. Send out envelopes: 'You have definitely lost.' You turn it over, giant printing: 'Not even close.' You open it, there's a letter of explanation: 'Even we cannot believe how badly you've done in this contest.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Don't get up. - I'd like to help, but my neck...", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Students can't clean. It's anathema. They don't like it. How long you been waiting to squeeze that into a conversation?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "To this day, they bring it up. It was the single most damaging experience of my life. Aside from seeing my father naked.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Why don't you just settle it like mature adults? - Potato man. - No, no. No potato man. Inka-dink.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "And you are... - Wait a minute. No. ...it - What? What are you doing? No, no. Oh, okay. All right. He's out, I get it. - No, no, no. I'm it. I win. - No. He's it. He wins. It is good.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "I can't believe I won at inka-dink.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "You know, you owe me one. - What? - The inka-dink. You were it. - It's bad? - It's very bad.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Or maybe he's dead.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Greetings. Greetings and salutations. I beg your forgiveness. My tardiness was unavoidable. Rava, my love. Elaine, dear friend. And you must be Jerry, lord of the manor. My liege. A pleasure to serve you.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Your palace shall sparkle like the stars in heaven...upon your safe arrival, sire. The toilet brush is under the sink.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "I don't feel comfortable with a maid either. There's that guilt when someone's cleaning your house. You're sitting on the sofa, they go by with the vacuum. 'I'm really sorry about this. I don't know why I left that stuff over there.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "That's why I could never be a maid. I would have that attitude. I'd find them, wherever they are. 'I suppose you couldn't do this. No, don't get up. Let me clean up your filth. No, you couldn't dust. Oh, this is too tough, isn't it?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "He really did an amazing job. Look. He uncoagulated the top of the dishwashing liquid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "He cleaned out the bottom of the little egg cups.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "He cleaned in the little one-inch area...between the refrigerator and the counter. How'd he get in there? He must be like Rubber Man. There's no Rubber Man. Why did I think there was a Rubber Man? There's Elastic Man, Plastic Man...", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Elaine, he Windexed the little peephole.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "My mother left us when I was 6 years old. All seven of us. We never heard from her again. I hope she's rotting in an alley somewhere.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Hot down there in the summer. You ever been down there?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Dinner's for suckers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "And of all things to take. I left my watch, tape recorder, stereo. He's crazy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Would you shut up?!", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Are you saying I stole your statue? - What a mind. - Well, I... - I can't believe what I'm hearing. - I can't believe what I'm hearing.", "c": ["Ray", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "She's from Finland, for crying out loud. Finland! Do you understand? I know Finland. They're neutral.", "c": ["Ray", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "You wuss. - Did you call me a wuss? - What did you say? I said, 'luss.' I'm at a 'luss.'", "c": ["George", "Ray"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "But unfortunately, the guy retired and moved to Singapore. Singapore? Do you hear this? If you really want, maybe I can contact the guy in Singapore. Have him make a Photostat of the receipt...and send it over.", "c": ["Ray", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "That's it! I can't take it. I can't take it anymore! You stole the statue! You're a thief! You're a liar! - George. - Who is this? I'm the judge and the jury, pal. And the verdict is, guilty!", "c": ["George", "Ray"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "I checked you out. They have no record...of a Ray Thomas at that school, you liar! That is because I am registered under my full legal name...Raymond Thomas Wochinski. Ray Thomas is my professional name. You mean 'alias.'", "c": ["George", "Ray"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "How did you get the goop out of the top of the dishwashing liquid? It was like a brand-new nozzle.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "No, we made love on the floor like two animals.", "c": ["Rava"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Was Jerry? I can't remember.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Big coincidence. Not a big coincidence. A coincidence. No, that's a big coincidence. That's what a coincidence is. There are no small coincidences and big coincidences. No. There are degrees of coincidences. No. There are only coincidences. Ask anyone.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "How is it my fault? It was stolen. I didn't even touch it this time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Instead of editing the first novel of a major young writing talent...I am proofreading a food-allergy cookbook.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "And he doesn't think you're funny at all.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Yeah, he'll have my parents.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Freeze, mama! Hey, hey... Shut up! Spread them. I said, spread them! You're in big trouble, son. Burglary, grand larceny...possession of stolen goods. And murder! Murder? Shut up! Keep them spread. You just make love to that wall, pervert.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm a cop. I'm a good cop. I'm a damn good cop! And today's your lucky day, junior. Because I'm gonna let you off with just a warning. Any more of this criminal activity, and you'll be sorry. You got me?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "Well, let's put it this way: I didn't take him to People's Court.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "People are going to steal from you. You can't stop them. But everybody has their own little personal security things. Things that they think will foil the crooks, you know, in your mind. You go to the beach, go in the water. Put your wallet in the sneaker. Who's gonna know? What criminal mind could penetrate this fortress of security?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "'I tied a bow. They can't get through that.' 'I put the wallet down by the toe of the sneaker. They never look there. They check the heel, they move on.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Statue"}, {"t": "What is he worried about? I mean, what is this man's reputation... that he has to worry about this kind of exposure... damaging his good name?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "I mean, what is he, up for a big job promotion... down at the office or something? Afraid the boss is gonna catch this on TV and go: 'Isn't that Johnson from sales?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "He's up in that clock tower, picking people off one by one. I don't know if that's the kind of man... we want heading up that new branch office. He should be in bill collection. I think he's got aptitude.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Get this, I got it all on video.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "That's it. This is it. I'm done! Through! It's over! I'm gone! Finished! Over! I will never work for you again! Look at you. You think you're an important man? You are a laughingstock. You are a joke. These people are laughing at you! You're nothing! You have no brains, no ability, nothing!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Well, what did you say? - I said, 'Jump.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "If you're gonna kill yourself, do it already and stop bothering me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "At least I'd respect the guy for accomplishing something.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "What am I supposed to tell him? How much there is for him to live for? Why should I lie to him?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "My guys don't know your guys.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "They'll start a riot.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Have you ever met my guys? - No, I can't say as I have. - Well...", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "I would prefer it if the machines are not even touching each other... because something could, you know, jump across.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You and your toilets.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You know, like the general manager of a baseball team.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You know how I always make... interesting comments during the game?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Well, that's really not fair.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Those unions.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Someone said once I'd be a good talk show host. - Really? - Yeah, a couple of people.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You can't walk into a building and say, 'I want to be a talk show host.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Pretend like it never happened.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "People don't take you seriously.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Morning, Bill. Morning, Bob. How you doing? Fine. Ten minutes later, you see them in the hall, 'How you doing?' Every time you pass, you've gotta come up with another greeting.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You start coming up with nicknames for them. 'Jimbo.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "What quit? Who quit?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Went up to the Cape. Took the kids sailing. Lisa was a little scared at first... but that kid's gonna be a good sailor someday. She's gonna be a fine sailor.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "I got tied up. - I'll bet you did.", "c": ["Ava", "Bill"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? I didn't quit. Why, you took that seriously?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "'Laughingstock,' all that stuff... 'No brains, no ability'? - Teasing.", "c": ["George", "Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "I wouldn't say all the time.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You can't win. You can't beat me. That's why I'm here, and you're there. Because I'm a winner. I'll always be a winner... and you'll always be a loser.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "I'm gonna slip him a Mickey.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "What are you, Peter Lorre?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "It's like a movie. I'm gonna slip him a Mickey.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You got a Mickey source?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "The best revenge is living well. - There's no chance of that.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "He jumped. - Newman jumped.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "I said, 'Wave to me when you pass my window.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "He jumped from the second floor.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "He's lying out there faking. See, he's trying to get back at me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "This place is my country... and I'm the president, and that's my Constitution.", "c": ["Laundromat Owner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You are like the James Bond of laundry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "The one that looks like a blowfish.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "We're just gonna put a little concrete in the washing machine.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You're like Lex Luthor.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Really, I mean that. I am not one of those people... who gives insincere thank-yous. No, sir. No, sir. When I thank somebody, I really thank them. So thank you.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "So I'm going to a nudist colony next week.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "I usually work naked a couple hours a day.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Who are you? - Oh, you don't want to know, mister. I'm trouble. Big trouble.", "c": ["Woman", "Rick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "I'm gonna count to three. If you don't give up the chair... the wig is coming off. - I don't wear a wig. - One...", "c": ["Woman", "George", "Woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "I just like to have a few drinks... and then just let the guy do whatever he wants.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.02, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "Would you close your eyes a second? I want to tell you a secret about my bra.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 3.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You wouldn't believe it if I told you. In fact, I'm glad you're here, you know. Maybe I've been a little rough on you.", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "How you blew that McConnell deal, I'll never know... but, hey, what the hell, huh?", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "I told you not to mix in our guys.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "People like the idea of revenge. You ever hear the expression: 'The best revenge is living well'?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "You think you could go up to him: 'Charlie, forget the .357. You need a custom-made suit and a convertible... new carpeting, French doors, a divan. That'll show those punks.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Revenge"}, {"t": "As an adult, if I want a cookie, I have a cookie, okay?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I have three cookies or four cookies... or 11 cookies if I want.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Many times, I will intentionally ruin my entire appetite. Just ruin it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "And then I call my mother up right after to tell her that I did it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Hello, Mom? Yeah, I just ruined my entire appetite. Cookies.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "As an adult, we understand even if you ruin an appetite... there's another appetite coming right behind it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Look, Zigmond. Look at the sky! The planet's on fire! It is just as you prophesised!", "c": ["Unknown actor on TV"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "You're bringing in an outside cucumber?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "What have I done? What...? I can't read this. 'Fullman hurtel vom'?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Fax me some halibut.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Is that funny? Is that a joke?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "That's like asking, 'Where's Waldo?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I think I'm having a heart attack.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I think what he's trying to say... is that he's having a heart attack.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "You saw that show on PBS last night, Coronary Country.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I saw it in the TV Guide, I called him... told him make sure and not watch it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "He saw that show on anorexia last year... ate like an animal for two weeks.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Why can't I have a heart attack?! I'm allowed.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Manhattan Memorial. Less of a line.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I never been in the hospital a day in my life... except when I had my tonsils out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "You know, they never gave me any ice cream. I always felt that if they...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Shut up!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "'Salami salami bologna.' Definitely.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "'Salami salami bologna'?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Well, you know, I was thinking, if things don't exactly... work out...", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Well, it wouldn't fit you. The sleeves are too short.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "do you think it'd be all right if I called Susan Davis?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Well, it's not like we'll be bumping into you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Jerry... kill me. Kill me now. I'm begging you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Well... What, kind of like this?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Jerk-off.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Is anybody getting your apartment?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Hey, is anybody listening?!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Mommy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Well, I wouldn't go that far.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Well, they've grown back.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Yeah, if you've been exposed to gamma rays.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "In fact, we were forbidden to socialize with anybody... who didn't have their tonsils.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "And we were forbidden to socialize with tonsil people.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Well, it's like the Capulets and the Montagues.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "It's like Sizzler opened up a hospital.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "They gonna do a zipper job? Oh, they love to do zipper jobs.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "You get that heart pumping... Suddenly, boom! Next thing you know... you got a hose coming out of your chest attached to a piece of luggage.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Now he's sitting in a chair by a window going: 'My name is Bob!'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "No, Johnny Yuma was a rebel. Ackman is a nut.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "First visit? 38 bucks.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I'm 33, I haven't outgrown the problems of puberty... I'm already facing the problems of old age.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I went from having orgasms immediately to taking forever. You can do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I never had a really good pickle.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Your parents would have been well-advised to wait.", "c": ["Tor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "And you're not a doctor, but you play one in real life.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "There's some hot air blowing in here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I love cramp bark.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Cleaver? I once had cleaver as a kid. I was able to lift a car.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Couch grass and cramp bark? I think that's what killed Curly.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Cleveland, 117. San Antonio, 109.", "c": ["Tor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I'm an eggplant! I'm a vegetable!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "All this over a Chuckle.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "It's a jelly candy. Comes in five flavours.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "A kiss? With the tongue? The glossa with the bumps and the papillae?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I don't want to run into Dr. Tongue.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "That's it! That's it! 'Flaming globes of Zigmond'! That's my note. That's what I thought was so funny.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "It's not funny. There's nothing funny about that.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "I had a heart attack this big... but I gave myself one of these: Clear! And it's gone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Heart Attack"}, {"t": "Women don't try on the clothes, they get behind the clothes", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "If someday I'm one-legged at a 45-degree angle... what am I gonna wear?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "What about this suit? I'll get it. Looks fine. Put some shoes by the bottom of the pants. I want to make sure. Perfect. Now, what if I'm walking? Move the shoes, move the shoes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "I know. I know. I'm having my root canal the same week.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Hey, lookit. Naked people.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "I have a vague recollection of doing something with someone... but it was a long, long time ago. I think my last time was in Rochester. My hair was a lot shorter.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "What was that look? - What look? The look you just gave me. - I gave a look? - Yes. - What kind of a look? - I know that look.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Well, you're the big look expert.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Thirty-seven.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "We know the terrain. - No big surprises.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "It's almost stupid if we didn't. - It's moronic. - Absurd.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "The idea is to combine the this... and the that. But this cannot be disturbed. We just want to take this... and add that.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Beautiful. Let's make it a rule. All right, sir.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Sleep is separate from that, and I don't see why sleep got all tied up and connected with that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "It's bourgeois.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "What's the deal with Aquaman? Could he go on the land, or was he just restricted to water?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Oxygen. I need some oxygen.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "You ask me here to have lunch... tell me you slept with Elaine... and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now, you listen to me. I want details, and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well, you get in the mood!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "If I had that in my house, I would never turn it off. I wouldn't sleep. I wouldn't eat. Eventually, firemen would break through the door. They'd find me in my pyjamas with drool coming down my face.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "She must have taken some kind of seminar or something.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Where are you living? Are you here? Are you on this planet? It's impossible. It can't be done. Thousands of years, people have tried to have their cake and eat it too.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "You know what you're like? You're like a pathetic gambler. One of these losers in Las Vegas who keeps thinking... he's gonna come up with a way to win at blackjack.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "No. No. You see? You got greedy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "It could be a hot, sweaty room with no air conditioning... and all they have is a little Army cot this wide. You're not going anywhere.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "I got that root canal tomorrow morning. It'll be easy if I go home.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Surgery! You're going to the dentist!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "I had this improv... where I pretended... I was working in one of those booths in an amusement park... where you shoot water in the clown's mouth and blow up the balloon.", "c": ["Tina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Hey, who took my cake?", "c": ["Tina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Whatever I give her, she'll be bringing in experts from all over the country... to interpret the meaning behind it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "I think I heard her say something about a bench.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "What, like at a bus stop? - Like a park bench? - Who puts a bench in the house?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "I mean, she opens it up, she hears that 'Lara's Theme,' I'm dead.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "The frame says, 'I care for you, but if you want to get serious... perhaps you'd be interested in someone like this.' Nice-looking fellow.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Too gubernatorial.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "And it's getting so tough, because the relationships are so complicated... greeting-card companies now put out cards that are blank... on the inside. Nothing. No message.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "For 75 cents, I don't want to get involved.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "You got me cash? This way, I figure you could go out and get yourself whatever you want. No good? Who are you, my uncle?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "To a wonderful girl, a great pal... and more.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "I am not your pal. What's wrong with pal? Why is everybody so down on pal?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "The bench! You got me the bench that I wanted!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "182 bucks. Cash? You've gotta be kidding. What kind of gift is that? That's like something her uncle would give her.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Think where man's glory most begins and ends... and say my glory was I had such a friend. Yeats.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "You know, we never had one fight before this deal. - I know. - Never. - Ever. - We got along beautifully. - Like clams.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "No this? No that. No this or that.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "This, that and the other. Oh, sure. Of course. You're entitled. Who doesn't want this, that and the other? You.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Those birthdays. I told you, they're relationship killers. If a relationship's having any problems whatsoever, a birthday brings it out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "I never got into these terrible fights and misunderstandings... when I was changing before gym class.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Ninety-one dollars.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Imagine bumping into her on the street in five years with a husband. And she tells me that he's a sculptor. They live in Vermont.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Have to wear that really heavy denim. The cafeteria, with the guy who slops the mashed potatoes onto your plate. Go to the bathroom in front of hundreds of people.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "Boy, I really liked the two of you much better when you weren't a couple.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "I think that for some reason... when a man is driving down that freeway of life... the woman he's involved with is like an exit. But he doesn't want to get out. He wants to keep driving.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "But the man focuses on the sign underneath that says, 'Next exit, 27 miles.' And he thinks, 'I can make it.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Deal"}, {"t": "They tease you with, 'You may have already won.' I'd like once for a sweepstakes company to have some guts. Just tell people the truth one time. Send out envelopes: 'You have definitely lost.' You turn it over, giant printing: 'Not even close.' You open it, there's a letter of explanation: 'Even we cannot believe how badly you've done in this contest.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Don't get up. I'd like to help, but my neck....", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Students can't clean. It's anathema. They don't like it. How long you been waiting to squeeze that into a conversation?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "It was the single most damaging experience of my life. Aside from seeing my father naked.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Why don't you just settle it like mature adults? -Potato man. -No, no. No potato man. Inka-dink.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. No. -...it -What? What are you doing? No, no. Oh, okay. All right. He's out, I get it. -No, no, no. I'm it. I win. -No. He's it. He wins. It is good.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Hey, I look like Joe Friday in Dragnet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "The inka-dink. You were it. -It's bad? -It's very bad.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Or maybe he's dead.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Greetings and salutations. I beg your forgiveness. My tardiness was unavoidable. Rava, my love. Elaine, dear friend. And you must be Jerry, lord of the manor. My liege. A pleasure to serve you.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Your palace shall sparkle like the stars in heaven upon your safe arrival, sire. The toilet brush is under the sink.", "c": ["Ray", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I don't feel comfortable with a maid either. There's that guilt when someone's cleaning your house. You're sitting on the sofa, they go by with the vacuum. 'I'm really sorry about this. I don't know why I left that stuff over there.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "That's why I could never be a maid. I would have that attitude. I'd find them, wherever they are. 'I suppose you couldn't do this. No, don't get up. Let me clean up your filth. No, you couldn't dust. Oh, this is too tough, isn't it?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "He uncoagulated the top of the dishwashing liquid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "He must be like Rubber Man. There's no Rubber Man. Why did I think there was a Rubber Man? There's Elastic Man, Plastic Man....", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Elaine, he Windexed the little peephole.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Jerry. -What? Ray, would you give me a hand, please? Yeah, I'm coming.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry", "Ray"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Sweet elixir, its fragrant nectar a soothing balm for the soul.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "My mother left us when I was 6 years old. All seven of us. We never heard from her again. I hope she's rotting in an alley somewhere.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "My mom's down in Florida. She's got one of those condos. Hot down there in the summer. You ever been down there?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "In Scandinavian mythology, the pastries were the food of the gods.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Dinner's for suckers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "She's from Finland, for crying out loud. Finland! Do you understand? I know Finland. They're neutral.", "c": ["Ray", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "'I find you so charming.' You wuss. -Did you call me a wuss? -What did you say? I said, 'luss.' I'm at a 'luss.'", "c": ["George", "Ray"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "That's it! I can't take it anymore! You stole the statue! You're a thief! You're a liar! -George. -Who is this? I'm the judge and the jury, pal. And the verdict is, guilty!", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Ray"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I called the registrar's office. I checked you out. They have no record of a Ray Thomas at that school, you liar! That is because I am registered under my full legal name Raymond Thomas Wochinski. Ray Thomas is my professional name. You mean 'alias.'", "c": ["George", "Ray"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "How did you get the goop out of the top of the dishwashing liquid? It was like a brand-new nozzle.", "c": ["Jerry", "Ray"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "We made love on the floor like two animals. Ray is insatiable.", "c": ["Rava"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Was Jerry? I can't remember.", "c": ["Rava", "Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "There are no small coincidences and big coincidences. No. There are degrees of coincidences. No. There are only coincidences. Ask anyone.", "c": ["Rava", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "She doesn't react to disappointment very well. Unlike me. I'm not happy about this.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Why don't we just throw a Molotov cocktail through their window.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Yeah, he'll have my parents.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "You just make love to that wall, pervert.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm a cop. I'm a good cop. I'm a damn good cop!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Well, let's put it this way: I didn't take him to People's Court.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "You go to the beach, go in the water. Put your wallet in the sneaker. Who's gonna know? What criminal mind could penetrate this fortress of security?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "'I tied a bow. They can't get through that.' 'I put the wallet down by the toe of the sneaker. They never look there. They check the heel, they move on.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "The Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Phone rings. It's the phone company. They want more money.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "You've got them right where you want them for the first time in your life. You're on the street. There's nothing they can do.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Yeah, hello, operator? Oh, I've got the money. I've got the money right here. You hear that? That's a quarter. Yeah, you want that, don't you?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "I wanna see garbage men. It's much more important. All I wanna see are garbage trucks, garbage cans and garbage men.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "They should combine the two jobs. Make it one job. Cop/garbage man. I always see cops walking around with nothing to do. Grab a broom.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "You sweep, sweep, sweep. Catch a criminal, get right back to sweeping.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "You should run for mayor. - Nobody listens.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "I'm very lucky she's even considering seeing me at all.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Four. That'll be five, 10 minutes.", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "You know, it's a public phone. You're not supposed to just chitchat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Can't look at a menu now, I gotta be at the table. He knows I'm waiting. He sees me. He just doesn't wanna look.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Health cookies. I hate those little dust-board fructose things.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "What is it with humanity? What kind of a world do we live in?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "There's a woman over there looks really familiar. This is gonna drive me crazy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Did you see that? Those people... Look, they're getting a table. Maybe they were here from before. No, no, they weren't here before.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "You ever notice how happy people are when they finally get a table? They feel so special because they've been chosen.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "It's enough to make you sick. Boy, you are really hungry.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "If anything happens here, can I count on you? If we decide to go at it. Yeah, I wanna get into a rumble.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Look at his little outfit. It's all so coordinated. The little socks match the little shirt. I really hate this guy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "It's not fair that people are seated first come, first served. It should be based on who's hungriest.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "There's 50 bucks in it for you if you do it. You walk over to that table, you pick up an egg roll, you don't say anything, you eat it, say 'Thank you very much,' wipe your mouth, walk away.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "They won't do anything. In fact, you'll be giving them a story to tell for the rest of their lives.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "I don't wanna go over there and do it and then come back here and find out there was some little loophole like I didn't put mustard on it or something.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "For 50 bucks? I'd put my face in their soup and blow.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "I know this sounds crazy, but the two men standing behind me will give me 50 bucks if I stand here and eat one of your egg rolls. I'll give you 25 if you let me do it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "You know, we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a civilized way!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Does she care? No. Does anyone ever display the slightest sensitivity over the problems of a fellow individual? No. No! A resounding no.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "How do people fast? Did Gandhi get this crazy?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Well, it's this little place with this little bathroom. And it's, like, right there, you know? It's not even down a little hall or off in an alcove, you understand? There's no buffer zone.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "I begin to perceive this impending intestinal requirement whose needs are going to surpass, by great lengths, anything in the sexual realm.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "I know that that bathroom is not gonna provide me with the privacy that I know I'm going to need.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Tatiana, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I think it would be best if I left.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "So I'm dressing, and she's staring up at me, struggling to compute this unprecedented turn of events.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "The only excuse she might possibly have accepted is if I told her I am, in reality, Batman. And I'm very sorry, I just saw the Bat Signal.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Remember when you first went out to eat with your parents? Remember? It was such a treat to go. And they serve you this different food that you never saw before. And they put it in front of you and it was such a delicious and exciting adventure. And now I just feel like a big sweaty hog waiting for them to fill up the trough.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Hey. What stinks in here?", "c": ["Jerry", "Man"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Better place! Want a...? Want a table? No, just bring me a plate, and I'll eat here.", "c": ["Mr. Cohen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Mr. Cohen always here. He's always here? What does that mean? What does that mean?", "c": ["Host", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Where am I? Is this a dream? What in God's name is going on here?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "I told her to call me here and to tell anyone that answers to ask for a balding, stocky man with glasses.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "How are you doing? Good, good. What's going on? I'm working hard. And you? Oh, you know, working around. Same stuff. Doing... whatever.", "c": ["Jerry", "Lorraine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Lorraine. That's Lorraine from my uncle's office. I am in big, big trouble.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "The chain reaction of calls this is gonna set off. New York, Long Island, Florida. It's like the Bermuda Triangle. Unfortunately, nobody ever disappears.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "'Do they take money?' Everyone takes money. I went out with a guy who did it all the time. You slip them 20 bucks.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna eat that much. I'm counting your shrimps.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "The women's movement just can't seem to make any progress in the world of bribery, can they?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Dennison, four! Your table is ready. No, no. I want that table. I want that table!", "c": ["Host", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "What a sorry exhibition that was.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Be about five, 10 minutes.", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Cartwright! I can't have popcorn for dinner. Cartwright!", "c": ["Elaine", "Host"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Yes. I just got a call. I yell, 'Cartwright? Cartwright!' Just like that. Nobody came up. I hang up.", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Who's Cartwright? I'm Cartwright. You're not Cartwright. Of course I'm not Cartwright!", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Well, I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "Seinfeld, four! Hunger will make people do amazing things. I mean, the proof of that is cannibalism.", "c": ["Host", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "This is good. Who is this? I like this person. I would think the hardest thing about being a cannibal is trying to get some really deep sleep.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "What was that? Who's there? Who's there? Is somebody there? What do you want? What do you want? You look hungry. Are you hungry? Get out of here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Chinese Restaurant"}, {"t": "I'm not a foodie. I don't... 'Oh, this is too rare.' 'Oh, it's too salty.' Just eat it and shut up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "I have eaten rolls off of room-service trays in hotel hallways. I have. That's not a joke. This is my life.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Why would somebody poison a roll and leave it in the hallway for some comic coming down at 2:00 in the morning?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "What is this, the story of the bill? 'Once upon a time, there were some very hungry people...'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "A little gold tassel hanging down... Am I graduating from the restaurant?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Everybody likes pesto. You walk into a restaurant, that's all you hear. Pesto. Pesto. Pesto.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Where was pesto 10 years ago?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Anytime you see a guy that age wearing a baseball cap, ten to one-- plugs.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "It's like waiting in the shower for the conditioner to work.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "It's the pesto of cities.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "We, uh, shared an interpersonal experience.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "the Benes tattoo does not wash off so easily", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "That ought to get us a free dessert.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "He'll probably kill his family over this.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "A lot of ex-cons become busboys. They seem to gravitate toward it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "It's not a profession where you embellish your resume and undergo a series of grueling interviews.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "It was a fat camp! Those kids depended on me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "He could be one of those people that walks around the street pricking people with pins.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "I am one clever chickadee.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Does the word charm mean anything to you? No.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Maybe the fat camp.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Take the K-man, a little support.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "try not to say too much.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not an idiot. Certainly not. Then we're cool. Y-- Yeah. Yeah, w-w-we're cool.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Habla espanol? Oh, my God. Si. Como se dice... waterbed?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "You got anything to drink? Agua.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "His cat's gone.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "You know, my aunt, she had a cat, ran away, showed up three years later. You never know.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Unless, of course, somebody else starts feeding her. See, that's what you got to worry about.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "The lamp. There's wire sticking out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "So the last person in should close the door. Let me talk to him. Call-- Call him from your house.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "if I don't get this guy on a plane to Seattle, and out of my life, I'm going to kill him and anyone who tries to stop me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "He's a wonderful guy, but I hate his guts.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "I told him I've been having my period the last five days.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "If you oversleep more than 10 minutes, a hand comes out and slaps you in the face.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "We do have a cannon leaving in about 10 minutes. Think you'd be interested in that?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Make sure you get out of the net immediately, because we shoot the luggage in right after you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Well, I gotta shower. I'll feel dirty all day.", "c": ["Ed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Got a bag of cashews in there.", "c": ["Ed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Shoes weren't invented until the 4th century. People walked around for thousands of years without them!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "54th and 6th. Sperry Rand Building, 14th floor, Morgan Apparel. Mention my name, she'll give you the key.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Lincoln Center, Alice Tully Hall, the Met. Magnificent facilities.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "I knew I was challenging the very laws of physics.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "They say no one's ever beaten the Van Wyck... but, gentlemen, I tell you this: I came as close as anyone ever has", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "that numbskull... would be on a plane for Seattle right now... instead of looking for a parking space downstairs.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "A gas main beneath the restaurant exploded, killing five people in my section, Including the busboy who replaced me.", "c": ["Antonio"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "You saved my life!", "c": ["Antonio"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Paquita, perhaps frightened from the explosion, had miraculously returned.", "c": ["Antonio"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Hey, why don't you watch where you're going, okay? Because you bumped into me. Who do you think you're talking to, pal?", "c": ["Ed", "Antonio"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "It was that fall down the stairs, that's what did it. That's not how it happened. It's when he fell on him with his knee.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Till he goes back to Seattle, or till he can feed himself?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "People have fistfights in life. And I can't really believe we have boxing, either.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Why don't they have the boxers come into the ring in little cars, drive around a little bit, have a little accident, they get out-- 'Did you see my signal? Look at that fender!' Then you'd see a real fight.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Busboy"}, {"t": "Every time somebody recommends a doctor, he's always the best. 'This guy's the best.' They can't all be the best. There can't be this many bests. Someone's graduating at the bottom of these classes. Where are these doctors?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Is somewhere someone saying to their friend: 'You should see my doctor. He's the worst. Oh, yeah. He's the worst. He's the absolute worst there is. Whatever you've got, it'll be worse after you see him.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "He's just a-- He's a butcher. The man's a butcher.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Why? What's the difference? He's a doctor. What is he--? 'Oh, you know Bob. Oh, okay, I'll give you the real medicine. Everybody else I'm giving Tic Tacs.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I think it would be not being able to tell if there was bugs in my food. How could you ever enjoy a meal like that? I'd constantly be feeling around with my lips and my tongue.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Well, that's how my 5-year-old eats. He's a very picky eater.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "And these people are all over the place. You never know who's crazy. I could be one of these people.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I'm talking about the ones that forge them.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Neither do I, but I do it for them. I figure they're bored.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I feel guilty about getting the pleasure. I feel like I don't deserve it, so I talk. It stops me from enjoying it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "And then for some reason... I launch into the story about the kid from Pennsylvania who was abducted.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I hate ginger. I can't understand how anyone can eat ginger.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "But Raymond is a man.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "That's right.", "c": ["Receptionist"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I can't get a massage from a man.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "What? You're a woman. They're supposed to be touching you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "If it's gonna get sexual, it should get sexual with you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "What if it felt good?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I don't want it to feel good.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Then why get the massage? Exactly.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I said, what do you do? I don't know. You don't know what you do? No.", "c": ["Raymond", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "But you wrote that it was tender. I wrote. I wrote.", "c": ["Raymond", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Korea. You hurt it in Korea? What? The hamstring. Korea. How? Hamstring. How did you hurt the hamstring? Hotel.", "c": ["George", "Raymond"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "A man gave me... Yes. A man gave you... A man gave me... a massage.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "He was... touching and rubbing. That's a massage.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "He got about... two inches from... there.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I think it moved.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Maybe it just wanted to change positions. You know... shift to the other side. No, no. It wasn't a shift. I've shifted. This was a move.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "That's the sign, the test. If a-- If a man makes it move.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Do you think it's contact? It has to be touched? That's what a gym teacher once told me.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "If Joe DiMaggio wants a doughnut, he goes to a fancy restaurant. He's not sitting in Dinky Doughnuts.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I don't like to sit next to men on airplanes because our knees might touch.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I don't even like to use urinals. Always been a stall man.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "The guy slept with Marilyn Monroe. He's in Dinky Doughnuts.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "A stall man, huh?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "He's a good fighter... and a nice guy, but I don't like him. How come you don't like him? Why should I?", "c": ["George", "Roy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Joe DiMaggio dunks his doughnuts? That's right. See, now I know it's not him. Joe DiMaggio could not be a dunker.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Like I'm sitting there, and I-- (banging sounds implied)", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "He wouldn't move. So then I started doing these yelping noises", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "He dunks like he hits.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "For some reason, I went like this: (effeminate gesture implied) And they called me a Mary.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know kids. They can be very perceptive.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I didn't know you'd get me a note. Of course I'd get you a note. You didn't say anything. Neither did you.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "He's got a wife, kids and a lot of other stuff.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I've never been happy. I mean, I'm happy sometimes, but not now. In college, maybe.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Run, Billy! Run to the office and close the door. Call the police. The police.", "c": ["Julianna"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "Men have been popping into my sexual fantasies.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "They talk back. They go, 'Hey, George, how's it going?' I said, 'Get the hell out of here.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "You see? Now, that is a handsome man. Oh, please.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "I think it's because men know that deep down... we have weak sales resistance.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "We're constantly buying shoes that hurt us, pants that don't fit right. Men think, 'Obviously, I can be talked into anything.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "'Just hold this guy's hand, walk around the store. See how you feel. No obligation, no pressure, just try it. Would you like to see him in a sandal?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "The Note"}, {"t": "What kind of a sicko, really, would save these... have them in a huge file? Drawers that wide. You know, you just... 'Where the hell is that but...' I mean, is it that hard to get black, round buttons... that they make it into a whole thing?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I'd really like to eventually work exclusively... on my papier-m\u00e2ch\u00e9 hats.", "c": ["Patrice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "What if it rains? They're art. You hang them on the wall.", "c": ["George", "Patrice"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "'Who so belongs only to his age... reverences only its popinjays and mumbo jumbos.' Thomas Carlyle, 1864. Tommy C.", "c": ["Patrice", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "You come barging in here, asking me to contribute money... to a volcano relief fund for Krakatoa. It was supposed to erupt.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I don't even pay taxes. Yeah. That's easy when you have no income.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "All the little squares have hardened red sauce in them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "It's a riot, Alice.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Yeah, Tina likes the couch.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "A long, long time ago... in a galaxy far, far away.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Like you'd make this donation for 50 bucks... and I'd start tearing my clothes off?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Those brave Krakatoans... east of Java... who sacrificed so much, for so long.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "See, that's karma. No, that's Kramer.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "And as we speak, at this very moment... he is handing over to her all of my pertinent tax information... and she has assured us... that the matter is well within her field of expertise.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "You hate my earrings, don't you? And you didn't comment... on the chopsticks.", "c": ["Patrice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I want the truth! The truth? You want the truth?!", "c": ["Patrice", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "You call everyone by their full name. You called my doorman Sammy, 'Samuel.' But you didn't even say Samuel. You went 'Samuel.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "It's the financial equivalent of a complete rectal examination.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I would've killed this man. Torn him limb from limb. Ripped the flesh right off his bones.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Here I am, about to go to the electric chair... and my oldest friend is dating the governor.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "My whole life has been a complete waste of time. And there's so much more to go.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I broke up with her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "[Jerry's stunned silence and reaction]", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "You're extremely... careful with money. I'm what? I'm cheap? You think I'm cheap?!", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "When I was working, I spent, baby! Yeah, I know. Champagne, limos, cigars.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "A pocketbook or a handbag? Is that relevant? She took them.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Well, wouldn't it be invisible? I mean, what, are you gonna just sense it's in front of the couch?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I saw her naked. He saw me naked. Kramer saw me naked.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "All right, if it's gonna make you feel any better, you can see me naked. No, thank you. No, I want you to see me naked.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "As far as Mr. Johnson is concerned... that's another story.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "You'll sense it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "A mental institution.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "That's why I like to wear a belt when I'm naked. Because I feel it gives me something. Some, you know, 'I'm naked, but, you know...'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "To be naked and still be able to do this.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I've driven women to lesbianism before... but never to a mental institution.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "My friend Bob Sacamano had shock treatments. But his synapses were so large, had no effect.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Came over to my house for dinner, there was no soda... and he went berserk. He was screaming, 'Where's the Pepsi? Where's the Pepsi?'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I should be in a place like this. I envy this woman. Get to wear slippers all day. Friends visit, they pity you. Pity's very underrated. I like it. It's good.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Plus, they give you those word-association tests. I love those. They're great. There's no wrong answer. Potato. Tuberculosis. Blanket. Leroy. Grass. Tuberculosis.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "[Kramer appears completely naked]", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Listen, you want some leftovers? I made some African food. There's yambalas and sambusa.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "It's invisible. So is everything cool or what?", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Who are you? This is my friend... Jerry. Why are you talking like that?", "c": ["Patrice", "George", "Patrice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Obviously, this isn't a mental institution.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I'm incapable of guile. He's never guiled.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "There are no copies. Who makes copies?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "It was 1987. I remember I talked to a guy, had, like, a maroon sport jacket... and he might have had a toupee. Oh, it was a weave?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I'm going to a poetry reading... with Patrice. First-time poets. It's in a burnt-out building down by the docks. It's supposed to be good.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "You're going that way anyway! Come on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "At first, I thought, 'Well, IRS kind of sounds like Toys 'R' Us. Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe they have a sense of fun about it.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I think they should take all your receipts and put them... in one of those big, Lucite sweepstake drums... and just kind of crank it around there. Give you a feeling like you might win something.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. That's another illegal deduction... but we do have some lovely parting gifts for you. Jail.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Truth"}, {"t": "I have never seen an old person in a new bathing suit... in my life. I don't know where they get their bathing suits.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "My father has bathing suits from other centuries.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Fathers don't wear bathing suits, they wear trunks. It's kind of the same thing a tree would wear if it went swimming.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "So I get in the water in this thing, and it's, like, floating around me... somewhere.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "You bump into somebody, 'No, I'm parasailing. I'm waiting for the boat to come back.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "What happened to the Scotch tape? Who takes the Scotch tape? Nobody returns anything around here.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Know what I'll do next time? I'll hide it so nobody can find it.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "We waited 35 minutes in the rent-a-car place. I don't know why. We would have picked you up.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "How much is a rent-a-car? I don't know, 25 bucks a day. What? Oh, you're crazy. Plus the insurance.", "c": ["Morty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Oh, I didn't get the insurance. How could you not get the insurance?", "c": ["Jerry", "Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "The lake isn't real. The lake is real. Are you kidding? They built the lake. But it's real, it's water.", "c": ["Jerry", "Helen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "We don't even sleep.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Why should I be comfortable? Don't worry. He's comfortable. I'll sleep standing up. I'll be fine.", "c": ["Helen", "Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "We decided we don't really work as a couple.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "You know, look at the sun-dried tomatoes. Where were they five years ago? It just goes to show you, you never know what could happen to a vegetable.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Why do you need more friends? You've got plenty of friends.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "I'm going for the record.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "And scuba diving. Scuba diving? Who's going scuba diving? For fun. For fun?", "c": ["Jerry", "Jack", "Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "You're gonna do one of your little comedy skits tomorrow.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "I owe you $19.45. What did you have? You had the minute steak. Yeah. Did you have a Coke or what? I did not have a Coke.", "c": ["Jack", "Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "All right, make it 20 bucks. It's $19.45, Morty. $19.45?", "c": ["Jack", "Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "You got to get it right to the penny. But that's why he was such a good president.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Oh, this is an astronaut pen. It writes upside down. They use this in space.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Because a lot of times I write in bed and I have to turn and lean on my elbow to make the pen work.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Take the pen. Oh, no. Go ahead. I couldn't. Take it. I can't take it. Do me a personal favor. No, I'm not comfortable. I cannot take it. Take the pen. Are you sure? I'm positive. Take the pen.", "c": ["Jack", "Morty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "What did you take his pen for? He gave it to me. But you didn't have to take it.", "c": ["Helen", "Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Should I have said I didn't like it? You shouldn't have said anything. He could have said, 'Thank you,' and put it back in his pocket.", "c": ["Morty", "Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "He goes on and on about how it writes upside down, how astronauts use it.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "I know his wife. She has some mouth on her. She'll tell everyone in the condo now that you made him give you the pen.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Jack can afford to give away a pen with all his money, believe me. He gives me a check for $19.45. He didn't have a Coke.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Hey, it writes upside down. Yeah.", "c": ["Morty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Today's over. Then we have tomorrow. We leave on Sunday. It's one day, really.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "I got my feet up in the air like I'm in a space capsule.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "They're nuts with temperature.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "How about that guy writing a check for $19.45?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Half a day, really. I mean, you subtract showers and meals, it's like 20 minutes.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "What's so special up here?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Mrs. Seinfeld, please... I am begging you: Put the air conditioner on.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "You're hot? I've lost six pounds.", "c": ["Helen", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "I don't even know how to work it. I keep telling her it's like an oven in here.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "So where's the new pen?", "c": ["Evelyn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "I don't know, she said Jerry wanted the pen. I never really wanted the pen.", "c": ["Evelyn", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Jerry wouldn't do that. Jack gave it to him. All he said was he liked it. I mean, nobody put a gun to his head.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "How the hell do you work this thing?", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Don't be alarmed. Oh, my God. What the hell happened to you?", "c": ["Jerry", "Morty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "My capillaries burst. Do you know what you look like?", "c": ["Jerry", "Morty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "I got about 10 feet down and felt this tremendous pressure on my mask like my eyeballs were being sucked out of their sockets.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "The shoes have to match the pocketbook. What's she doing, yoga?", "c": ["Helen", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "I got in a fistfight with one of the ladies at the pool. It's from scuba diving.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Listen, Mr. Klompus... it was a nice gesture to give me the pen, but I don't really need it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "You know, Jack, you got a hell of a nerve taking that kid's pen. This happens to be my pen. He practically begged me for it.", "c": ["Morty", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Of course I wanted it! I love sponge cake. Who said you couldn't have it? Because I saw the look on your face last week when I took the Scotch tape.", "c": ["Jack", "Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "So you got the Scotch tape. I've been looking all over for it. I'll give it back. I don't want it. I don't want it!", "c": ["Morty", "Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Are you people aware of what's happening? What is driving you to this behavior? Is it the humidity? Is it the Muzak? Is it the white shoes?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Say 'astronaut.' Astronaut? Say it. Astronaut! Astro....", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Last year, I took him to the hospital every day. Did he ever say thank you? Oh, God. Uncle Leo.", "c": ["Stella", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "What's with the sunglasses? Who are you, Van Johnson?", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "I thought Johnny was very rude to you. He didn't even let you talk. You need some new material. I've heard you do that dog routine three times already.", "c": ["Stella"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "You should get your cousin Jeffrey to write some material for you. Jeffrey works for the Parks Department. He's funnier than the whole bunch of you.", "c": ["Stella", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "This better be good. I'm missing Golden Girls for this.", "c": ["Stella"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "I hate her like poison.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "A man who slept more hours on the job than Ronald Reagan.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Being president of the condo is not easy. It requires hard work, dedication, and commitment. And unfortunately, he possesses none of these qualities.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "The hiring of incompetents.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "But we do owe him a debt of gratitude because by not fixing the crack in the sidewalk it put Mrs. Ziven out of commission for a few weeks.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Tell them about when you took my son's pen back. Tell them about that. He gave my son a pen, and then he takes it back.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "You broke my dental plate. You son of a bitch. I'll sue you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Hey, have you ever noticed how they give you the peanuts on the planes? Not my Harry! He flies first class!", "c": ["Jerry", "Audience member"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "All I said was, 'I like the pen!'", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Five days? You want me to stay here for five more days? There must be some mistake.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "According to the bylaws of the condo constitution they need six votes to throw you out for unruly behavior. Not five.", "c": ["Evelyn"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Well, today's almost over, and weekdays always go by fast. And Friday, we're leaving, so it's like two days, really. It's like a cup of coffee. It'll go by like that.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Is Florida not hot and muggy enough for these people? They love heat. If they ever decide to land men on the sun I think these old retired guys will be the only ones that will be able to handle it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "They'll sit there on the redwood benches, washcloth on their head, going: 'I'm trying to get a sweat going.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Pen"}, {"t": "Does it seem to you that the ventriloquist dummy has a very active sexual, social life?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "He says kinky things, because he's made out of wood and he can spin his head around", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Dummy feet never look really right, do they? They're just kind of dangling there. Always kind of askew", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "This is a joke, right? What are you, from a radio station? Okay, you got me. I fell for it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "That's a nickel a day for 20 years. It's gonna be $50,000. / If it's a dime a day, it could be 100,000.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "She was developing this body in secret under these loose clothes for, like, two years. And then one day... this orange dress.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Oh, memory burn, huh?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "It's all a bunch of cheapskates in there anyway. People sitting around reading the newspaper attached to those huge wooden sticks trying to save a quarter.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "The Dewey Decimal System. What a scam that was. Boy, this Dewey guy really cleaned up on that deal.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "I kind of like those sticks. I'd like to get them in my house.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "This is a lonely woman looking for companionship. A spinster. Maybe a virgin.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Needs a little Kramer, huh?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Then she'll need a little shot of penicillin.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "The library investigator's name is actually Bookman? / That's like an ice-cream man named Cone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Did you see the homeless guy on the library steps screaming obscenities and doing callisthenics? / I think that's Mr. Heyman.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "He's older, completely covered in filth, no whistle. But I think it's him.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Oh, tattletale. / I didn't tattle. / Well, what did this guy do? / I never figured you for a squealer. / He sang like a canary.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "So, what's a guy gotta do around here to get a library card?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "You don't know. You see, 'I don't know anything' means there's something to know. If you really didn't, you'd say: 'You're crazy.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Marie, this water is still too cold. / Oh, yeah. It's freezing. / Hurts your teeth.", "c": ["Lippman", "Marie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "I don't understand lunch. I don't know anything about it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Instead of saying Costanza, he'd say, 'Can't stand you. Can't stand you.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "I remember he made you wear a jock on your head for a whole class. And the straps were hanging down...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "It was like from an exhumed corpse. Little baked beans.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "They also have an atomic wedgie. The goal there is to actually get the waistband on top of the head. It's very rare.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Boys are sick. / Well, what do girls do? / We just tease someone till they develop an eating disorder.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Here's a place where you can go in, take out any book you want. They just give it to you and say, 'Bring it back when you're done.' Reminds you of that pathetic friend everybody had as a kid that would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "That's what the library is. It's a government-funded pathetic friend.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Who doesn't have instant coffee? / Buy a jar of Folgers crystals, put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. When you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried crystals.", "c": ["Bookman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards. Abbie Hoffman telling everybody to steal books.", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes in the New York Public Library, fella.", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. But what about that kid sitting down opening a book right now in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat?", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Well, I got a flash for you, joy-boy: Party time is over.", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "I have a witness. Sherry Becker. She wore an orange dress. She gave me a piece of Black Jack gum. I said, 'Liquorice gum. What will they think of next?' I remember it!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "I wore a purple dress. / Purple? / You sure it wasn't orange? / Positive.", "c": ["Sherry", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "No Black Jack? / Liquorice gum? Never.", "c": ["Jerry", "Sherry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Tropic of Capricorn? / Remember? / 'What holds the world together, as I have learned from bitter experience, is sexual intercourse.'", "c": ["Sherry", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Wait a second, wait a second. You're right. I had both of them. We read from Tropic of Capricorn. I was all set to return Tropic of Cancer. And then...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "It was George!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "That is great poetry. You should be published. / It's great.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Hello! / Hello! / Hello! / Hello.", "c": ["Marion", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "I remember when the librarian was a much older woman. Kindly, discreet, unattractive. We didn't know anything about her private life. We didn't wanna know about her private life. She didn't have a private life.", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Got that, kewpie doll?", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Maybe you're getting a raise. / Maybe I'm getting a wedgie.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "It's... It's Marion's poetry. / I can't take it!", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Columbus. Eurotrash.", "c": ["Lippman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "He smelled like the locker room after that game against Erasmus. That was double overtime.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "He turns and smiles. The little baked-bean teeth.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Here I was on the steps of the 42nd Street library, a grown man, getting a wedgie.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "At least it wasn't atomic. / It was.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Hard feelings? What do you know about hard feelings? Ever have a man die in your arms? Ever kill somebody?", "c": ["Heyman"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "You better not screw up again, Seinfeld. Because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pit bull on a poodle.", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "That is one tough monkey.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Can't stand you. Can't stand you. Can't stand you. Can't stand you.", "c": ["Heyman"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Any day that you had gym was a weird school day. You know what I mean? It started off kind of normal. You have, like, English, geometry, social studies, and then suddenly, you're, like, in Lord of the Flies for 40 minutes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "You're hanging from a rope. You have hardly any clothes on. Teachers are yelling at you, 'Where's your jockstrap?' You know. Kids are throwing dodge balls at you. You're trying to survive.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Dog"}, {"t": "Does it seem to you that the ventriloquist dummy has a very active sexual, social life?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "bringing them back to the suitcase at night. There's always a sawdust joke in there somewhere", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "He says kinky things, because he's made out of wood and he can spin his head around", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "we're not noticing the feet are just swinging there. Dummy feet never look really right, do they?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Those little thin, fabric ankles that they have... You think, 'I don't think this thing is real.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me? Let me speak with the head librarian. It's absurd.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "This is a joke, right? What are you, from a radio station? Okay, you got me. I fell for it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Do you know how much that comes to? That's a nickel a day for 20 years. It's gonna be $50,000.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "If it's a dime a day, it could be 100,000.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "She was developing this body in secret under these loose clothes for, like, two years. And then one day... this orange dress.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Oh, memory burn, huh?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "People sitting around reading the newspaper attached to those huge wooden sticks trying to save a quarter.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "The Dewey Decimal System. What a scam that was. Boy, this Dewey guy really cleaned up on that deal.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Look. Trying to save a quarter.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "I kind of like those sticks. I'd like to get them in my house.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "A spinster. Maybe a virgin.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Needs a little Kramer, huh?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Then she'll need a little shot of penicillin.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "That's like an ice-cream man named Cone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "He's older, completely covered in filth, no whistle. But I think it's him.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Oh, tattletale.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "He sang like a canary.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "He's out on a case? He actually goes out on cases?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "So, what's a guy gotta do around here to get a library card?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "You see, 'I don't know anything' means there's something to know. If you really didn't, you'd say: 'You're crazy.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Hurts your teeth.", "c": ["Marie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Just because I got the guy fired doesn't mean I turned him into a bum, does it?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Instead of saying Costanza, he'd say, 'Can't stand you. Can't stand you.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "I remember he made you wear a jock on your head for a whole class. And the straps were hanging down...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "It was like from an exhumed corpse. Little baked beans.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "They also have an atomic wedgie. Now, the goal there is to actually get the waistband on top of the head. It's very rare.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "We just tease someone till they develop an eating disorder.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "That's what the library is. It's a government-funded pathetic friend.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Buy a jar of Folgers crystals, put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. When you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried crystals.", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "But you put on a pair of shoes in the New York Public Library, fella.", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers?", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Well, I got a flash for you, joy-boy: Party time is over.", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "I can't.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "I said, 'Liquorice gum. What will they think of next?' I remember it!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Purple? You sure it wasn't orange? Positive.", "c": ["Jerry", "Sherry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "No Black Jack? Liquorice gum? Never.", "c": ["Sherry"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Tropic of Capricorn? Remember? 'What holds the world together as I have learned from bitter experience is sexual intercourse.'", "c": ["Sherry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "It was George!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Pressed chest Fleshed out west Might be the saviour Or a garden pest That is great poetry. You should be published.", "c": ["Marion", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello.", "c": ["Marion", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Got that, kewpie doll?", "c": ["Bookman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Maybe I'm getting a wedgie.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "I can't take it! Oh, Kramer.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Columbus. Eurotrash.", "c": ["Lippman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Can't stand you. Can't stand you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "At least it wasn't atomic. It was.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Ever have a man die in your arms? Ever kill somebody?", "c": ["Heyman"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "That is one tough monkey.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Any day that you had gym was a weird school day... then suddenly, you're like, in Lord of the Flies for 40 minutes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "There's something off in the whole flow of that day.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "The Library"}, {"t": "Opening monologue about mall directories and suction-cup feet", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "That's one of those suction-cup guys. I heard about that guy. He's never lost.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "One left. What a joke.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Why do I always have the feeling everybody's doing something better than me on Saturdays?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "They're out on some big picnic, they're cooking burgers, making out on blankets.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "They're not at some mall in Jersey watching their friends trying to find the world's cheapest air conditioner.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "He'd go from state to state. He was away for weeks at a time. Like he's running for president and going through the primaries.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "We'd get phone calls from New Hampshire.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Fish. What do they do? - What do you do?", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "There's no other way. Everybody goes every way all the time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "You got the picnic and burger traffic.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Sometimes even a picnic's no picnic.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Why do they hide the bathrooms in these malls?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.05, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Did I need that pointed out for me? What is that gonna do for me? How does that help me, to see her?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Yeah, women love to get approached in parking garages. I'll go up and say, 'Hi, how you doing? Would you like a glass of white wine?'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "You get within 15 feet, she'd have her finger on the Mace button.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "That was a guy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "I remember Orange. I thought it was Orange. - I didn't pay attention.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "There's elevators all over! Everything looks the same! We're like rats in some experiment.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "It's black, right? - Well, it's dark brown.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "In a parking lot, you write it down. How hard is that?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "How long can fish live in one of these plastic bags? - I don't know. Maybe two hours.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Why don't you just go behind one of these cars. - Why? There's nobody around.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "You hold it in like that, you can cause a lot of damage to your bladder. That's what happens to truck drivers.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Jerry, are you aware that adult diapers are a $600-million-a-year industry?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Maybe I should just go any time I get the urge, like you, wherever I am.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "There's too much urinary freedom in this society. I'm proud to hold it in. It builds character.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "That I'm supposed to remember. Where the car is, that's insignificant.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "If I am not in front of my building at 6:15, when my parents get there, they're gonna put me on an aggravation instalment plan that will compound, with interest, for decades.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "I once left my jacket on a bus when I was 14. I was flying to Chicago, last week, on a plane: 'Make sure you hang on to your jacket.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "What would it take for his parents to get a car phone? - Hypnosis by aliens.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "I can't carry a pen. I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Don't they consult with a urologist when they build one of these places?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Why don't you mind your own business. - Well, I think hitting a defenceless child is my business.", "c": ["Man", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "You're ugly. - What? - You're ugly. - You are. - You are. - That's what you think. - That's what I know.", "c": ["Child", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "From now on, no more calling out 'I found it' unless we're sitting in it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "His eyes look a little cloudy. - See? - Oh, those are your eyes.", "c": ["Kramer", "George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "We're not skinheads.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "These fish are dying. In an hour they'll be belly-up! That's not me talking, that's science!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "It's amazing how shopping makes me have to go. How does my bladder know I'm in a department store?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Organic. So is Buddy Hackett.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, I've had this condition since I was 11 years old. I've been in and out of hospitals my whole life.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Die! Is it worth dying for? - That's up to you. - Oh, so you don't care if I die.", "c": ["George", "Security Guard"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Because I could get 'uromysitisis' poisoning and die, that's why.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "I've been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Guy goes to pee, he never comes back. It's like a science-fiction story.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "What's the difference? We'll all be dead eventually. - Does that bother you? - Yeah, it bothers me. - Doesn't it bother you? - Not at all.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Now, that bothers me even more than dying bothers me. Because people like you live to be 120 because you're not bothered by it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Well, I once saw this thing on TV with people who are terminally ill. Every one of them believed that the secret of life is just to live every moment.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, I'm here with you in a parking garage in Jersey.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Some guy left it over at my mother's house.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "First of all, you don't even know, technically, that I went. I mean, I could have been pouring a bottle of water out there.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "And, you know, when you think about it, it's really quite an amusing case of mistaken identity.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "That's not a reason, 'You can't.' You just don't want to. - That's right. - But why? Why don't you want to? - I don't know.", "c": ["George", "Security Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Today my parents are celebrating their 50th... Well, I'm jumping ahead here. Their 47th wedding anniversary.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "My father's been in a Red Chinese prison for the past 14 years.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "I mean, the guy had a fat fetish. The inspector never dated a woman under 250 pounds.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "What did he do with all that fat? Does he just jump up and down on it? Or does he gouge it like Killer Kowalski?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Red Chinese prison? - George!", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "You know when you're walking with someone and you assume that they know where the car is? And you're fine until you see them do this move. Once they do this:", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "When they look back from where they came from... No, you're in bad shape now. Nobody that knows where they're going does that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Pilots on planes don't open the cockpit door and go:", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "My father was staying with one of China's great military leaders, General Chang, who, by the way, came up with the recipe for General Chang's chicken.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Apparently, General Chang is a flamboyant man. Complete failure as a general, but a hell of a cook.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "He doesn't have enough with the Mercedes, he has to have two spaces. I tell you, you know what I'd like to do? I'd like to spit on it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "This is some machine. Leave it to the Germans.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "I was arrested for urinating. - Me too. - You what? - I have uromysitisis.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "I can see not caring what happens to us. We're human. But what about the fish? The fish?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "That's right, go. Go home to your dumbbells. Go work on your pecs and your lats. We're all really impressed.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Don't worry, I'm packing heat.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Sure, I'll drive you around. - You will? - Sure. - Thank you. Thank you.", "c": ["Michele", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Well, I wouldn't wanna get lost in here. It smells like a toilet. - You're telling me. - Filthy pigs.", "c": ["Michele", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Get out! - But I didn't mean anything by it. I don't even know L. Ron Hubbard. I didn't know you were with that group.", "c": ["Michele", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Boy, those Scientologists, they can be pretty sensitive. - I'll say.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Boy, I had a hell of a time finding that air conditioner. You know I looked everywhere? I completely forgot where I hid it. You know where it was? - Purple 23. - Right. Purple 23.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "Sometimes it's good to write those things down.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "See, the problem with the mall garage is that everything looks the same. They try to differentiate it. They put up different colours, different numbers, different letters.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "What they need to do is name the levels like: 'Your mother's a whore.' You know what I mean? You would remember that. You'd go, 'I know, I'm parked at My father's an abusive alcoholic.' I know where I parked.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Parking Garage"}, {"t": "There's always one location in your neighbourhood, one store that's constantly changing hands... It's like some sort of Bermuda Triangle of retail.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Eventually, when aliens land... all these store owners will wander out in a daze, going, 'I thought there was gonna be more walk-in traffic.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Women don't want nice.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "What kind of a sick society are we living in when nice is bad?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "His family's probably back in Pakistan waiting for him to send back money. This is horrible.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "I've never been a guinea pig. Been a sheep, been a toady...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "I can't talk to you anymore.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "I've been lying about my SAT scores for 15 years.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "What did I get, or what do I say I got?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Well, this I take to the grave.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "It's like a spider in the toilet, struggling for survival. And even though you know he's not gonna make it... you root for him for a second. Then you flush.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Well, it's a spider.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Bazooka Joe.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "You gotta be on the lease to press the buzzer.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Casus belli... It's Latin. I read it in some book. I just wanted to say it out loud.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "I could probably shoot him from here. I'd be doing us both a favour.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Why is what I do so important? Why must I always be the focal point of attention? Let me just be. Let me live.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Why must you always be the focal point of attention? Why can't you just be? Why can't you live?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Mine's 145.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Get out of here. / You get out of here. / You get out of here.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Hey, I love a good caper.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's what it is, isn't it? A caper.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "How did you hear about us? / People. People are talking.", "c": ["Babu", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "A steaming hot, folded face cloth for your pleasure.", "c": ["Babu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Our specials are tacos... moussaka and franks and beans.", "c": ["Babu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Nobody thinks about people the way I do. Snap out of it, you stupid jerk. You're eating a turkey sandwich. You want a Nobel Prize?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "This is the best tool we have today of measuring a person's intelligence.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Eat something! Babu.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Statute. / What? / Statute of limitations. It's not a statue. / No, it's statue. / Fine. It's a sculpture of limitations.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Would you please?! / Is it for a job or something? / Later! / You're positive it's statute? / Yes! Yes!", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! It's all over the test! I'm out of time, anyway.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "It's all right. She was cheating anyway.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "I close down today. And when I open again, it will be a Pakistani restaurant. Thank you. Thank you so much. You're a very special person.", "c": ["Babu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "I am such a great guy. Who else would've gone to the trouble to help this immigrant? I am special. My mother was right. Of course, I've never had Pakistani food. How bad could it be?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "I had a sandwich in my pocket.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Why would I go out the door? The window's right here.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Eighty-five! 85 IQ.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Well, I'm no genius... but according to my calculations, he should be here in a few seconds.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Well, maybe the test was gender-biased. You know, a lot of questions on hunting and testicles.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "It was the same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "The IQ tests always have that sample question at the beginning where they show you how to fill in the circle. This should be the first elimination point right there. Anybody goes outside that circle: 'You wanna come with us, please? Yeah, you're done.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Babu... you know, I've gotta tell you, I never do this, but the shrimp... it's just a little stringy. You have any chicken?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "You make me change restaurant, but nobody come! You say make Pakistani. Babu Bhatt have only Pakistani restaurant. But where are people? You see people? Show me people! There are no people!", "c": ["Babu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "You bad man! You very, very bad man.", "c": ["Babu"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Bad man? Could my mother have been wrong?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "One fifty-one.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "It's tough to do a good deed. Let's look at your professional good-deed doers: Your Lone Rangers, your Supermen... your Batmen, your Spider-Men, your Elastic Men. They're all wearing disguises. Masks over their faces, secret identities. Don't want people to know who they are. Too much aggravation.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "'Superman, thanks for saving my life... but did you have to come through my wall? I'm renting here. They got a security deposit. What am I supposed to do?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Cafe"}, {"t": "Hair on your shower soap yesterday can be in your head tomorrow", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Did they have the guy take a shower, get his soap...rush it in by helicopter? You know, keep the soap alive on the soap-support system?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "We got the hairs, but I think we lost the Zest", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "It lands in someone's frozen yoghurt", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "The big toe is, like, the captain of the toes. But sometimes the toe next to the big toe gets so big that there's, like, a power struggle. And the second toe assumes control of the foot.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "The coup d'\u00e9-toe", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "China? Yeah, I'll pay for it. What for? What for? I'll tell you what for. For hair.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Is that the guy who likes fat women? Yeah. Doesn't the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Let me hear. Wait, wait, wait. Who is this woman? I don't know. I have no idea.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "This is like a Penthouse letter", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "What do the Chinese have to gain by faking a cure for baldness? If it was real, they'd never let it out of the country. Imagine no baldness. It would be like a nation of supermen.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Tell her. I want to hear her reaction. This woman left this sexy message... Not that, you idiot! What? The Chinese! The Chinese bald cure!", "c": ["George", "Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Jerry...I want to slide my tongue around you like a snake.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Some bald thing, a bald thing. I don't know. It's nothing.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "I told you he went to the track that one time and he was yelling at this jockey. And the jockey got off the horse and started chasing him.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Things you would know very little about.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Maybe she realized she couldn't have you and jumped off the George Washington Bridge.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Know what that makes you? A baldist.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Well, we're talking with Elaine Benes, adult film star, on the set of her new picture, Elaine Does the Upper West Side.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Couple of guys I knew in the Coast Guard told me about her. And I sensed that she had the anger and intensity that I needed to make this film work.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Follow me. Is George Costanza. And he plays an airline pilot who's just returned from Rome. And I'm about to show him how much I've missed him.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Oh, it's always simulated except with George. That's in my contract.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "They've got a billion people over there. He found a relative.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "They say you grow hair. Look like Stalin.", "c": ["Chinese delivery guy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Impotence.", "c": ["Chinese delivery guy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "That thing you said about the sex not being simulated...That was really funny.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Did she think she was gonna leave this incredibly erotic message on my tape, and I was just gonna let it go? Not bloody likely.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "That's the worst cockney accent I ever heard in my life.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Happy camper. Yeah, I don't hear that expression enough.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "I would say every two and a half to eight weeks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "The big toe, the captain.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "This woman, she said the filthiest things I ever heard in my life. And I get the pullback.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Sheriff.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "And I think that I see a couple of buds right here.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "What is this, an Abbott and Costello routine?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "I found a hair! Yes!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "You have cancer. Really? Sounds pretty good.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Would you put on your seat belt. We're about to go into a mountain. I'd go, Really, so what are you doing later by the ruptured remains of the fuselage? How about some peanuts over by the black box? I'll meet you there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Tape"}, {"t": "Give me an explanation why the pharmacist has to be...two and a half feet up above everybody else. What the hell is he doing he can't be on the floor with you and me?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Brain surgeons, airline pilots, nuclear physicists, we're on the same level.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Oh, no, he's gotta be two and a half feet up. 'Look out, everybody, I'm working with pills. Spread out, give me some room.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "The only hard part of his whole job that I could see...is typing everything onto that little, tiny label.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "'Yeah, I'd like to get this prescription filled.' 'All right. You wait down there. Only I'm allowed up here.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "On an elevator? You met a woman on an elevator?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Impossible, right? You got less than 60 seconds. That's like dismantling a time bomb.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "You know, I'm the one responsible for those crop circles in England.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Can you believe I did that? What did she say? What crop circles?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Not a good sign.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Crop circles? Why don't you buy something? You got something in your teeth.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Oh, man, spinach. I've been walking around like this all afternoon.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "You bump into anybody you knew? I had a job interview.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "How did it go? Take a guess.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "You don't need a job. You got Audrey. Yeah. Right.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "You won't think I'm a bad person? Too late for that.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Her nose is a little big. Yeah, she's got a big nose. I mean, big would even be okay. It's beyond big. It's a schnoz.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "I'm aware that my own physical dimensions...are a little short of perfection. A little.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "But I have to say, I think about the nose. I don't wanna think about it, I don't ask to think about it, but I think about it. I go to bed, I tell myself, 'Don't think about the nose.' I think about it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "I look at her, I see the nose.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "The ironic thing is, if she had a smaller nose...I never could've dated her. She'd be out of my league with a smaller nose.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "I'm not getting past that nose.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "All right, shut up. Here they come. How can I not think about it? Look at the size of this thing.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "My mother's going out with this guy who leaves a jacket in her house. She gives to me. Well, two years later, he shows up and takes it back. Now he's in prison. Got arrested for mail fraud.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Peter Von Nostrand.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "He believes it possesses some extraordinary power over women.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "I got stamped at the reggae lounge last night. I'm going back there tonight. I'm not gonna pay another cover charge.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "You didn't wash all day? Yeah, I washed. Just not the hand.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "You're as pretty as any of them. Just need a nose job.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you can kiss that jacket goodbye, Mr. Von Nausen.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "But what would the world be like...if people said whatever they were thinking...all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. 'Sorry, your rear end is too big.' 'Okay, your breath stinks.' 'See you later. No problem. Goodbye.' 'Okay, thank you very much.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "What are you thinking about? Thinking? Nothing. What could I possibly be thinking?", "c": ["Audrey", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "So, what did you think? About the pizza? No. About the nose job.", "c": ["Audrey", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "You know, not that I care one way or the other...but these doctors today do amazing things. If you were so inclined. And again, I'm not suggesting.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Peter Jennings had one. Really? Probably. They all do.", "c": ["George", "Audrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Of course, I'm from Long Island, so...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "It's really nothing. It's like going to the dentist. I hate the dentist. It's a cleaning.", "c": ["George", "Audrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Unfortunately...we live in a very superficial society. I don't condone it...but it's a fact of life.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Now you talked her into a nose job? Me? I didn't say anything. You encouraged her to get one. I didn't encourage. No encourage.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "'Peter Jennings had one'? It's possible.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Unless you'd really like one, then...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "I'm going straight to hell. No two ways about it. It might not be hell, but you're gonna run into bad dudes.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "Not as exciting as Miss Crop Circles.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game. And I'm letting him win.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.9, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "You're not letting him win. He wins till you're 40. Then what? He still wins, but it's not a blowout.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Nose Job"}, {"t": "So I was in the drugstore trying to get a cold medication. You ever try this? It's an entire wall of medications.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "This is quick-acting, but this is long-lasting. When do I need to feel good? Now or later? It's a tough question.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "No face, mouth open. This is how drug companies see the public.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Red, wavy lines are going through him... or he's glowing. Parts of him are on fire sometimes. Lightning is attacking him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I never had a doctor say, 'Are you having pain? Are you having any lightning with the pain?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "How did you get fleas? My cousin's imbecile dog was outside and they got in his carpet.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Maybe you could get yourself a little bow tie flea collar.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I'd go, but Long Island, it's so far out. It smacks of desperation. Everyone's gonna be saying: 'You came all the way out from Manhattan for this?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Well, what does that mean? Good dip?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "There's girls everywhere! I go out and there's girls in the elevator. They're in cafeterias, subways. So what?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "You got propylparaben? Got it. You got isobutane 30? I got isobutane 20. You got sorbitan sesquioleate? Got it. I have aloe. You got aloe? I love aloe.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Girls. There's girls right here in the store. Look. Look. There's one over there. Look. There's another one.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Let's just examine the situation for a second. Who, in this situation, would be more likely to make a mistake? Me, who had access to my wallet, knew exactly what was in there... or you?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "You may think you've won, but you haven't won. Know why? It's not over. This is not over. I'm not forgetting what's happening here. You have my $10. I will get it back. All right. Don't worry. And it's not over. I'm going now. Goodbye. I will be back.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "What could possess anyone to throw a party? I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Yeah, this has got 'disaster' written all over it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "How about this: Chicken wing.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "No, no, no. I got a better one: Head-patting.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "You came all the way out from Manhattan for this?", "c": ["Party Guest"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Let me ask you something. Where do you get your material? I hear a voice. What kind of voice? A man's voice. But he speaks in German, so I have to get it translated.", "c": ["Party Guest", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "How come you keep tapping your head? It's a nervous tick. I'm on L-dopa.", "c": ["Party Guest", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "The man devoted his whole life to the peanut. Imagine having so much passion for something.", "c": ["Party Guest"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I've often wondered if he ever worked with the pecan. Now, is that considered a nut? I know the cashew is a legume.", "c": ["Party Guest"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Maybe a safe fell on her head.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I try to make them think I don't like them. Then they think, 'Oh, this guy's not even looking. He must have something going for him.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "What have you been doing? I've been smacking myself senseless. People think I'm a mental patient.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Maybe the dingo ate your baby.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "She told me she wants me to make love to her. What? She said that? Yeah. Get out of here. I swear.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I long for you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I don't like when a woman says 'Make love to me.' It's intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Make love to me.' What am I, in the circus? What if I can't deliver?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "That's why I never play anything for money. I choke. I could choke tonight.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Pendant? Those bastards.", "c": ["Party Guest"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "What a world. So we can go now. No, he's taking the car.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "All plans between men are tentative. If one man should suddenly have an opportunity to pursue a woman... it's like these two guys never met each other ever in life. This is the male code.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Most of the time, they screw up a space shuttle mission, it's because... one of the astronauts met someone on his way to the launch pad. They hold that countdown. He's leaning against the rocket: 'So when I get back, what do you say we get together for some Tang?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.82, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "You don't care that innocent, defenceless animals... are tortured so you look good? Are you a vegetarian? Yeah. I eat fish occasionally. So you're a hypocrite.", "c": ["Elaine", "Fur Coat Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Fish don't feel any pain. How do you know? Do you communicate with fish? Well, they're not kept in little cages. Ever seen a goldfish?", "c": ["Fur Coat Woman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Swim around a bowl for two weeks... and get flushed down the toilet. That's a good life.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "You're beautiful. Call Kramer.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "What's in it for me? A bigger bill. Go for it.", "c": ["Party Host", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Kram, Sein.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "620 million people died. Thousand. Thousand! 620,000. The horror. The horror!", "c": ["Jerry", "Party Host"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "You know, a friend of my father's used to live right around here. Mike Wichter. He sold plastic straws. You know the ones? You could bend them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Have you noticed? People don't use straws as much as they used to.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I had the directions on the seat right next to me. They flew out the window.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I knew the exit on the Long Island Expressway... and I thought that the address was 8713 Riviera Drive. So I drove around... knocking on everybody's doors that had those numbers. 8317, 7813, 3718, 1837... Finally, I hit it. 8173.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I couldn't get the top on the convertible up. But it's cold out. Wait till we get on the Expressway.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "George, I've been sick all week. Elaine was too. Eighty miles an hour, 40 degree temperature for 50 minutes. Do the math.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Mr. Pocatillo! Who? You don't recognize my voice?", "c": ["Steve", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "See, this is the kind of lasting impression I make on people.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I figured I'd give you a break... see what it's like to hang out with someone in show business.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Don't be so enthusiastic. I'm not gonna steal anything. No, of course not.", "c": ["Steve", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Yeah. Let's have lunch.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Have you ever dated a woman that worked in your office? I never had a job.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Every day is a date. That's one of Dante's nine stages of hell, isn't it?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Every time I go to the bathroom, I pass her desk. I have to plan little patter. I spend half my day writing. Then afterwards I sit in my office and analyse how it went.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "If it was a good conversation, I don't go to the bathroom the rest of the day.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Jerry, he doesn't have anything. But I might have something.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "You're stealing this, aren't you? I'm not stealing. They owe me $10. They stole from me. You're a lunatic. I have to. It's a matter of honour.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Don't think I remember you? I know who you are! I was watching you.", "c": ["Store Security"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Can I still buy this or is this evidence now?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "So I'm chasing these doves down the street... and she's screaming at the top of her lungs... and then when the magician comes back from Europe... two of them turn brown! They turned brown! Brown! Brown!", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Maybe we should call one of those escort services. Yeah. I saw one of them advertised before on the cable station. 555-LOVE.", "c": ["Jerry", "Steve"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "A pleasure to make your acquaintance.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "I don't know, but I gotta do this more often.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Fifty dollars...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "You're under arrest for solicitation. Oh, wait a second. I... I have chicken soup.", "c": ["Police Officer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Is that real fur? Oh, boy. Oh, boy.", "c": ["Elaine", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "Small favour, small pause: 'Do me a favour? Hand me that pencil.' No pause at all. Big favours are: 'Could you do me a favour?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Stranded"}, {"t": "It seems the way they design the car alarms... is so that the car will behave as if it was a nervous, hysterical person.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Lights flashing on and off, acting all crazy. Not everyone wants to draw that much attention to themselves.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "'Excuse me?' I would like a car alarm like that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "I don't know my alarm sound. I'm not tuned into it like it's my son.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "They cross the wires or something... I can't even make a pot of spaghetti.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Maybe you should call your car phone.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Can I ask you a question? ... Did you steal my car? ... Yes, I did.", "c": ["Jerry", "Car Thief"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "But that's my car. ... I didn't know it was yours. ... What are you gonna do with it? ... I don't know. Drive around.", "c": ["Jerry", "Car Thief"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Then can I have it back? ... No, I'm gonna keep it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Car Thief"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Listen, there's a pair of gloves in the glove compartment... Could you mail those to me?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "I didn't cross any wires. The keys were in it.", "c": ["Car Thief"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Hey, Jerry, when's the last time you had a tune-up? Because I can't find...", "c": ["Car Thief"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "He only works three hours a day. He makes a fortune. He's been doing that for years, right, Jerry?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Could anybody do that?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Right out of the clear blue sky? ... Clear blue sky. ... Why didn't they ask me? ... I got a quality.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "This Wednesday? ... No, next Wednesday. Week after this Wednesday. But the Wednesday two days from now is the next Wednesday.", "c": ["Jerry", "Sid"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "I'm in a transition phase right now.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Owen March. I never heard of him. ... Well, he's not a baseball player. ... Yeah, that's true.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "I made a reservation for a midsize, and she's a small. I'm kidding around, of course.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Why do people always say that? I hate everybody. Why would I like him?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "So vibrant she'd be spinning.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation. ... I know why we have reservations. ... I don't think you do.", "c": ["Jerry", "Rental Agent"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "See, you know how to take the reservation. You just don't know how to hold the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Anybody can just take them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge, see those two people? They think I'm talking to you. So you pretend like you're talking to me...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Yeah, give me the insurance... because I am gonna beat the hell out of this thing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "I love being with him. I mean, I like being with him. It's okay being with him. I just don't enjoy being with him.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Seven dates is a face-to-face breakup? If it was six, I could've let you go. But seven, I'm afraid, is over the limit.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Unless, of course, there was no sex.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Reaction beat - Elaine's silence to the sex question", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "So I start to walk, and I trip. And the grocery bag goes flying... and Woody starts laughing... It started to come out of his nose.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "You mean 'a career.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "I didn't see him.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Boy, these pretzels are making me thirsty.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "These pretzels are making me thirsty... No... These pretzels are making me thirsty... No, no. See, that's no good.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "These pretzels... are making me thirsty!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "These pretzels are making me thirsty!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Boy, he took it hard.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "These pretzels are making me thirsty.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "You raise the feet, get blood to the head. You raise the head, get blood to the feet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "He is not a drug addict.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "A cookie! ... Can you give him a cookie? ... How's he gonna chew it? ... Move his teeth. Worked for my uncle.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Cookies don't liquefy. ... They do. You can liquefy a cookie.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "You know, I've got to tell you, he's a pretty good-looking guy... Those eyebrows could use a trimming.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "He said, 'Who's the moron who's got the street all screwed up?'", "c": ["Paramedic"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "They sit with you. That's all they could do. 'Can you help me?' 'No, we can't help you, but we were the first ones here.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "My question to you is: Who's putting your pants on?", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "The extent of the damage would've been far less severe... had paramedics been able to reach him sooner.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Five seconds! The next words out of my mouth were, 'Owen, it's over.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "All these years, I'm living in a community, I had no idea.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Your whole business is based on other drivers. It's a rented car. That's who's driving it. Other drivers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Did you see the size of that document? It's like the Declaration of Independence. Who's gonna read that?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Why Yankee bean, huh? Don't they have beans in the South?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "It's a bitch to get here. It's two subways. I have to transfer at 42nd Street to take the double-R.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Told me he was just using me for sex.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Well, one of the pieces must've hit Woody... and he started crying.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Boy, I really nailed that scene.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "All I need is the sickness. That is the most important one. 'Do you take this man in sickness?' That's the time I need somebody there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "The Alternate Side"}, {"t": "Every mall has a Hoffritz in it. That's got to be a scary place to work.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I need knives. I need more knives. Do you have any bigger knives? I'd like a bigger knife. A big, long, sharp knife. That's what I'm in the market for. I like them really sharp. Do you have one with hooks and gouges and blades that are kind of serrated?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "What do you think, they put the statue on a giant raft and a tugboat pulled it all the way from France?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Think they brought it in pieces and screwed it together like a coffee table?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Who am I gonna tell, my mother? Like I have nothing better to talk about. / You don't.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "He's been off the wagon two years. / 'Off the wagon'? / I think it's 'off the wagon.' / I think it's 'on the wagon.'", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Keep your hands to yourself if you know what's good for you.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Today is your lucky day. / It would be my first one.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Cranberry juice? / And vodka.", "c": ["George", "Dick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Well, you know, book reports, that kind of stuff.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Who do you read? / I like Mike Lupica. / Mike Lupica? / He's a sportswriter for the Daily News. I find him very insightful.", "c": ["Dick", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Well... a lot of good ones. Lot of good ones. I don't even wanna mention anybody because I'm afraid I'm gonna leave somebody out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I like Art Vandalay. / Art Vandalay? / He's an obscure writer. Beatnik, you know, from the village. / What's he written? / Venetian Blinds.", "c": ["George", "Dick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I got news for you. I'm funnier than you are.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I didn't know you meant hold it. I thought you meant hold it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "One drink like that, and he could fall right off the wagon. / Told you.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I never feel comfortable in the women's department. I feel like I'm just a little too close to trying on a dress.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Find me one person that doesn't like cashmere.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I see a cheap man holding a sweater trying to get away with something. That's my overview.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "You can smell me without the drink.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Boy, that Hennigan goes down smooth... and afterwards, you don't even smell.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "That's right, folks. I just had three shots of Hennigan's, and I don't smell. Imagine, you can walk around drunk all day. That's Hennigan's, the no-smell, no-tell Scotch.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I'm gonna tell you what I think. I know you don't care what I think, but I'm gonna tell you. I think that you are terrific. That's all.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Say you got a big job interview and you're nervous. Throw back a couple of shots of Hennigan's and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Money. / Jerry, how could you let him spend so much? / I tried to stop him. I couldn't. He just wants to make people happy.", "c": ["George", "Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I don't know. / What don't you know? / I don't know. / Well, do you see it, or don't you? / Say that again. / Do you see it, or don't you? / Do I see it or don't I? That's the question. / Now, what did you ask me again?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "You had sex with the cleaning woman on your desk?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I've always been attracted to cleaning women. / Cleaning women, chambermaids... / Yeah, chambermaids, I'm attracted to them too. / Why is that? / It's a woman in your room.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Convulsing? / I don't know. I'm trying to help you.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I don't know if it was the alcohol or the ammonia, but the next thing I knew, she was mopping the floor with me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Good thing the cleaning lady was there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "You mean to tell me, I put that drink six inches over to the right and this wouldn't have happened?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Did George buy that sweater knowing the red dot was on it because it was cheaper? / Okay. You just gave me the answer. / No, I didn't. / Yes, you did. Yes, you did. I saw your expression. / I didn't have an expression. I have a deviated septum. I have to open my mouth sometimes to breathe.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Frankly, I am shocked that you could ask such a question of me. If l... The only surprise was how you could even think of that. That's what you were seeing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Here I go out, in the spirit of the season and spend all my savings to buy you the most beautiful Christmas sweater I have ever seen to show my appreciation to you at Christmas, and this is the thanks I get at Christmas.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I didn't tell her, you stupid idiot. She tricked you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "I had a 103 temperature when I bought that sweater. I was so dizzy, I was seeing red dots everywhere. I thought everything in the store had a red dot on it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "It was just a little red dot. A little red dot.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "When I was a little girl in Panama, a rich American came to our town. And he was wearing the softest, most beautiful sweater. I said, 'What do you call this beautiful fabric?' And he said: 'They call it cashmere.' I repeated the word. 'Cashmere, cashmere' and I asked him if I could have it and he said: 'No. Get away from me.' And he started to walk away. Oh, but I grabbed onto his leg screaming for him to give me the sweater and he dragged me through the streets. And then he kicked me with the other foot and he threw some change at me. But I didn't want the change, Georgie. I wanted the cashmere.", "c": ["Cleaning Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "What's this?", "c": ["Cleaning Woman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "The only stench is coming from you.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "In the old days, how do you think they got the alcohol from town to town? / I don't know. / On a wagon. Don't you think they broke into a couple of those bottles along the way? / You can't drink on a wagon. It's too bumpy. / They had smooth trails. What about the Cumberland Gap?", "c": ["Jerry", "Dick"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me when I started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon... You know, because I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you, people do that all the time.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "What about the whole Christmas-spirit thing? Any flexibility there?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Hey, did Jerry leave that drink next to Dick's on purpose? / No. / George? / Over here.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Hey, Jerry, when do you consider sex has taken place? / I would say... when the nipple makes its first appearance.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "It's Cape Fear. Hide. Hide under the desk. / Move over. / Get off of me. / I have no room. / My foot's sticking out. / Shut up. He's coming.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "But, in a way, I think I inadvertently turned this guy into an alcoholic. I hate being around alcoholics. They're either saying how much they love you or how much they hate you. Those are the two statements that scare me most.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "He's finally off the wagon. / You mean on the wagon. / Don't get smart.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Red Dot"}, {"t": "Opening monologue about the helpless kid stuck in bumper cars needing attendant help", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "The helpless father-and-son bumper car team who can't organize", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Overly complicated subway directions to Coney Island", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Don't whistle on the elevator - that's what Willy Loman told Biff in Death of a Salesman", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "How do they work the bride and groom on that? Do they flip a coin?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "I feel when lesbians are looking at me, they're thinking: 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "List of Kramer's driving violations including 'no doors'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Not only did they find it, it was simonized, and the front end was aligned", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Who are you, Satan? I'm close to a job here. It's my second interview.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "All right, Biff.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "You looking for a job?", "c": ["Mysterious Woman", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Which market? The... The big one. The big market with the big board. Bull market, bear market. You name the market, I'm there.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Big brokerage houses killed my father. Well, they hurt him bad. Really hurt his feelings.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "No, I mean, what does 'ironic' mean?", "c": ["Elderly Man"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "There is no 'he.' ... It's a lesbian wedding.", "c": ["Elaine", "Elderly Man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "I'm the best man.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "My luck. I don't talk to a soul on the subway for 35 years, I get the best man at a lesbian wedding.", "c": ["Elderly Man"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "I'm not a lesbian! I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Hey, what's another million, give or take? I get off when and where I wanna get off.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "His father was a mudder. His mother was a mudder. His mother was a mudder? What did I say?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "You realize, of course, you're naked.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Naked, dressed, I don't see any difference.", "c": ["Naked Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "George's extended panic monologue about being trapped on the subway", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "George's internal monologue about 'make yourself comfortable'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Extended Mets analysis between Kramer and naked man", "c": ["Kramer", "Naked Man"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "If they win it this year, I'll sit naked with you at the World Series.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Elaine's banana counting to pass time", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "My mother used to walk around our apartment in her bra and panties. She didn't look anything like you. She was really disgusting, really bad body... if you can imagine an uglier, fatter version of Shirley Booth.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Hey, your mother's uglier than Hazel. Hazel really puts your mother to shame.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Eight dollars? What are you doing, robbing me? I wasted my whole morning on you for $8?", "c": ["Woman", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "You can't just leave me here. Will I see you again?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Kramer's horse racing victory celebration", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Hey, hey! Give me the money. Freeze! Police!", "c": ["Mugger", "Police"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna! How'd you like a Hare Krishna fist down your throat, you little punk?", "c": ["Hare Krishna", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Biff.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "I'm sitting on the D train for an hour and 15 minutes to go on a scary ride. You know that first sharp drop on the Cyclone? Fell asleep.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Subway"}, {"t": "Women put on perfume in an interesting way. Ever notice that, guys? They have their little key, Stratego little areas.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Women are convinced that this is the most action-packed area that could ever happen in the dating world. What is that, ladies? What is happening here?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Is that in case you slap the guy or something? He still finds you intriguing? 'Oh, Chanel!'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "She's a pianist, a classical pianist! She plays the piano!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "She's a brilliant woman! I sat in her living room, she played the Waldstein Sonata. The Waldstein!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "We did a crossword puzzle together in bed. It was the most fun I ever had in my entire life! Do you hear me? In my life!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "You know? Were you talking? I couldn't hear anything.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I was telling you about Noel. Oh, Noel, yeah. The one that plays the bongos.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "So sidesplittingly funny.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I'm very uncomfortable. I have no power. Why should she have the upper hand? For once, I'd like the upper hand. I have no hand, no hand at all.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "She has the hand. I have no hand. Hand me that, would you? Yeah.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "How do I get the hand? We all want the hand. Hand is tough to get. You gotta get the hand right from the opening.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "She'll observe me as I really am, as myself. Maybe I can get some hand that way.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Hey, smell my arm.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "What? Smell it. Smell it. With all due respect, I don't think so.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "The beach. The beach? Did you go swimming? It's 29 degrees. No, I just joined the Polar Bear Club.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "What the hell's a Polar Bear? These people go swimming in the winter. They're terrific.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "It's invigorating. Yeah... so is shock therapy.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "What is that, a PEZ dispenser? Yeah. You want one?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Hey, what goes on there, exactly? You don't know? No, I know. I know. You think they have fleas there, don't you? No. Yes, you do, Biff.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "You've never been, and you think they have fleas there. All right, I think they have fleas there. So what?", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Here, you want this? You don't want it? No, I bought five of them. Wow, great. Thanks.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I don't know how anyone does this. This must be so nerve-racking. How do they warm up their fingers?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "They have a piano backstage they warm up on. No. We would have heard it. You think they just crack their knuckles and come out?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Don't applaud when she stops playing the first time. It's not over yet. I really resent that. That's directed at me, isn't it?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Is this okay? Can I do this?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Something I said?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "It's John Mollica. Oh. Oh, John. Oh, hi, John. Hi. What are you doing out here? I was just at this recital and Jerry put this PEZ dispenser on my leg and I just started laughing.", "c": ["Elaine", "John"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Really? Boy... you really look great. Oh, thank you.", "c": ["John", "Elaine"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "He's kind of messed up on drugs. I don't know what to do. Have you thought about an intervention?", "c": ["John", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "You get all his friends in a room and they confront him to try to get him into rehab. It's a very popular thing now.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, George. I'm sorry. What did you put the PEZ dispenser on her leg for? I don't know. It was an impulse. What kind of a sick impulse is that?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I'll tell her I was the one who laughed. No, don't say a word. If she thinks my friends are jerks, then I'm a jerk.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "What are you, a baby? All right, tell him. When I was outside, I ran into John Mollica. Really? John Mollica?", "c": ["George", "Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Could we cut to the chase? Cut to the chase? What are you, Joe Hollywood?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "A lot of people say it. I would lose that. What's that? Lose that? That's not a Hollywood expression. Yes, it is.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "We got a situation over here!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "These things are really hard to load.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "You play a hell of a piano. Yeah, I was really moved. Really moved.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "PEZ? No, thank you.", "c": ["Jerry", "Noel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic, anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.", "c": ["Noel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Well, you know, maybe some mental defective put something stupid on her leg.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Even if this so-called mental defective did put something on her leg, she's still the one who laughed.", "c": ["Noel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I'll never forget that laugh for the rest of my life.", "c": ["Noel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I'm sure she would apologize if she could. Probably someone is holding her back, maybe against every fibre of her being.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "If she wants to continue to have a fibre of her being, she'll be very careful.", "c": ["Noel"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "By the way, how do you warm up your fingers before you play? I just crack my knuckles.", "c": ["Jerry", "Noel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I said, I don't feel like it. All right... I'll... I'll call you. I'll call you, and we'll talk on the phone. Have a telephone communiqu\u00e9.", "c": ["Noel", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "So, fine. Everything's fine. Everything good? Good. I feel good. Fine. That's fine. That's good. Okay. Okey-doke.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "You know, I think Kramer might have been indirectly responsible for getting Richie involved in drugs. What? How?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "So Kramer says to Richie: 'Why don't you dump the bucket of Gatorade on Marty Benson's head?' The club owner. Yeah. So Richie goes ahead and does it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "The guy was, like, 67 years old. It was freezing out. He caught a cold, developed pneumonia, a month later he was dead. Shut up.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "All the comedians were happy because he's one of these club owners nobody liked. But Richie was never the same. What about Kramer? He's the same.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I don't have a good apartment for an intervention. The furniture, it's very nonconfrontational.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. The guy I told to pour the Gatorade that killed Marty Benson?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Can I get in on that? What do you think, it's like a poker game?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "No, intervene, go ahead. Intervene all you want. I'm just afraid you might be interfering while we're intervening.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Stop smelling your arm!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "You know, I got a great idea for a cologne. It's called 'The Beach.' You spray it on, and it's just like you came home from the beach.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I can't believe I'm saying this, but that's not a bad idea.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "It's over. It's definitely over. She broke up with you? No, but she's going to. I can sense it.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I'm very good at going in reverse in my car. Why isn't Postum a more popular drink?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Yeah, Postum is underrated.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "You know what that means. What's wrong with lunch? Lunch is fine at the beginning, then you move on to dinner. You don't go back to lunch. It's like being demoted.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I'll never do a crossword puzzle with her again, I know it. I like the jumble. You ever do the jumble?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I have no power, you understand? I need hand! I have no hand! Why don't you break up with her. What? Break up with her. You reverse everything that way. A preemptive breakup.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "This is an incredible idea. Yeah. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but I go out with some dignity, or I completely turn the tables!", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "So I'm afraid I am gonna have to break up with you. You're breaking up with me? Yes. I am breaking up with you.", "c": ["George", "Noel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Shocked? Never expected this, did you? I thought everything was fine. Well, live and learn.", "c": ["George", "Noel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I didn't mean to hurt you, kid. Now, stop it, please. What do you want? I know I can make you happy.", "c": ["George", "Noel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "When you're playing the piano, do you think about me? I don't know. This is what I'm talking about. Okay, I'll think about you. All the time? All the time? You know... Okay, all the time. I can't hear you. All the time!", "c": ["George", "Noel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "See? It's not so hard.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard. Whoa, wait a minute. You... Did you hear what I just said? You think people are gonna pay $80 a bottle to smell like dead fish and seaweed?", "c": ["Steve", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "That's why people take showers when they come home from the beach. It's an objectionable, offensive odour.", "c": ["Steve"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "So you don't think that it's a good idea?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "The membranes get dry, and it just starts bleeding. Since I was a kid, so I have to stick a tissue up there. You have to work like that? Yeah. Nobody minds. Nobody's ever said anything to me.", "c": ["John", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I looked. I don't see any ice cubes. Well, then I guess there's no ice cubes. I can't drink this. It's warm.", "c": ["John", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "He can't stay. This is for close friends only. Hey, I'm a friend. Who told him to pour the Gatorade over Marty Benson's head?", "c": ["John", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Hey, I got somebody to make up that cologne for me, bigmouth. Somebody's going to make that crap?", "c": ["Kramer", "Steve"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Sure. We used to do that when one of our Polar Bears stopped coming. We'd go to his house: 'What, you don't want to be a Polar Bear anymore? It's too cold for you?'", "c": ["Polar Bear friend"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "You don't wanna go out with me because I'm a bartender, right? Look, you know, I don't really think that this is appropriate right now. Is it because I have a tissue in my nose?", "c": ["John", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Jerry, let me tell you something. A man without hand is not a man. I've got so much hand, I'm coming out of my gloves.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Even if I were dragged through manure, I still wouldn't put that stuff on. This man is a genius! A genius!", "c": ["Steve", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "The male kangaroo doesn't have a pouch. Only the female has it, so the male has pouch envy! Why should she have this huge pouch and I have nothing? I have things to carry too. At least give me a pocket.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "That laugh. That's the laugh. That's it! You're the one! No, no. No, it was an accident. It wasn't my fault! It was Jerry!", "c": ["Noel", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "You put a PEZ dispenser on her leg during my recital? I didn't know she would laugh. And, you... You lied to me, George. You lied to me!", "c": ["Noel", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I am breaking up with you. You can't break up with me. I've got hand! And you're gonna need it.", "c": ["Noel", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "The PEZ dispenser. He picks it up, he's staring at it. It's like he's hypnotized by it. Then he's telling us this story about how when he was a kid, he was in the car with his father and his father was trying to load one of them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "So as the father's trying to load it, he loses control of the car, crashes into a high school cafeteria. Get out. Nobody's hurt, but PEZ was all over the car. And the dispenser was destroyed, virtually beyond recognition.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "So as he's telling the story, he starts crying. What did you do? What do you think? I gave him my PEZ dispenser.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Two hours later, he checks into Smither's clinic. Talked to the doctor yesterday. He's doing great on the rehab, he's hooked on PEZ.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "He's eating them like there's no tomorrow. What's a three-letter word for candy?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "Jawbreakers, to me, was like the ultimate challenge candy. It was like candy manufacturers were sitting in their laboratories, going: 'I wonder if they'll eat this. This seems pretty tough to eat. Let's market it as some sort of experiment.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "But the concept of Jawbreakers... What was the concept? Multicoloured cement balls for a quarter? Was that the idea behind it? 'Let's see if we can hurt them. Let's see if they'll pay to be hurt.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "I did it, I ate them, I loved them. 'Oh, this is very painful. I'm really hurting. And this is hurting me a lot. I love them.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Pez Dispenser"}, {"t": "That urine sample. Giving them that, that's always a pleasure, isn't it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "I don't know what you need. I gave you whatever I had there. I got more. Whatever you need, I can get it for you. Just let me know what you need. It's no problem, I mean....", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "But any kind of physical test, I don't know what it is... I always click into this thing where I wanna do really well.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "What you heard was a cotton ball touching a piece of felt.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "We're sending the results to Washington.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "We'd like you to meet the president.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "If you named a kid Rasputin... do you think that would have a negative effect on his life?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "Well, once I didn't have dinner till, like, 9:00. I'll tell you, that was pretty rough.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "Give me 2 bucks. I'll do it for 2 bucks.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "There's no way I'd touch that bag for less than $2.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "You're not getting no Drake's Coffee Cake for 50 cents.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "What do you need, a break from getting up at 11?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "I can't commit to a woman, I'm not committing to an airline.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "You should be ashamed of yourself. I want you out of here.", "c": ["Gina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "Good enough.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "He was doing standup comedy in Kennebunkport, Maine... in this really ominous nightclub. The stage was on a cliff and the audience was throwing all the comics off.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "I think I've played there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "Your father's bald. Baldness is inherited from the mother's side, Jerry. But your mother's bald too.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "I heard he used to polish off a box of Triscuits. Really? Oh, yeah. Gandhi loved Triscuits.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "It's not too bad. It's not like a Sunny von Bulow coma.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "And all indications are he does not like Drake's Coffee Cake. He said that? He was screaming about it all night. How it's too sweet and it falls apart when you eat it.", "c": ["Gina", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "I wish he was not in a coma. I wish he was dead. I would like to pull the plug out from him!", "c": ["Gina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "I'm a man who respects a good coma.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "If it was one of those in-and-out comas, maybe. But when a guy's got a coma going like this... you don't wanna mess with it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "There's no tall buildings where these people live? They can't wrap their lips around a revolver like a normal person?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "I give them 24 hours to get out of it. They can't get out of it by 24 hours, it's a land rush.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "Baldness is inherited from the mother's side, Jerry. But your mother's bald too.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "Psychics should be licensed. And it wouldn't be hard. We could just give them the regular DMV test only with the silver dollars and the pizza dough over the eyes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "Like Kreskin. Instead of just hiding his check... why don't we try stopping his check. Let's see how he handles that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "You can say what you want about me... but I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here while you insult my toothbrush.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "No, more like the Three Stooges at the end of every movie.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "Fruit makes me incontinent.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since One Hour Martinizing.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "That's your big boy.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "I don't like to give out bites.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "You know, they're so fragile.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "You wouldn't believe it. Rasputin.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "The thing I don't understand about the suicide person... is the people that try and commit suicide for some reason, they don't die, and then that's it. They stop trying.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "Because they give up too easy. I say pills don't work, try a rope. Car won't start in the garage? Get a tune-up. There's nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you've set for yourself.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "The Suicide"}, {"t": "I never really understood the importance of the conductor. Between you and me, what the hell is this guy doing?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Do you really need somebody waving a stick in your face to play the violin? Does that really help you out?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Tap, tap, tap. 'Start.' Okay. I could see how you need that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I don't see the cellist looking up, 'I'm confused. I don't know what to do.' Then the conductor go, 'Do this. Like this.' 'Oh, okay, thank you. Thank you very much.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Why try anymore? There's no sense to it. I'll never meet anybody. I should accept it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "It's hard enough to meet a woman you dislike, much less like.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Are my nostrils getting bigger?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Why can't I just walk up to a woman and say, 'Hi, I'm George'? 'How are you?' Is that so terrible? H-- H-- Hi. Hi. Hi.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "The problem is that the good ones know they're good. They know they're in demand. They're not interested in confining themselves to one person.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I hate the good ones.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Is Jerry a good one? That's a good question. I think he thinks he is.", "c": ["Elaine", "Cynthia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "The mediocre ones are available but so insecure not being a good one they're always, 'I'm not good enough for you. What are you doing with me?' Eventually I just go, 'You're right.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Maybe you need somebody between good and mediocre.", "c": ["Cynthia"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "No, maybe I need somebody who has nothing. Somebody who just appreciates being with me because he's so desperate.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "It's gotten to the point where I'm flirting with operators on the phone. I almost made a date with one.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Oh, so there's still hope.", "c": ["Cynthia"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless, you don't care. When you don't care, that indifference makes you attractive.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "So hopelessness is the key. It's my only hope.", "c": ["Elaine", "Cynthia"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "You see, I wouldn't really mind so much, but I feel badly for my mother. If my mother weren't around, it wouldn't be so bad. But I'm telling you, if I'm not married by the time I'm 40, I'll have to kill her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Because it's the only fair thing to do. I just couldn't put her through that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "At least you're not bitter.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Who says I'm not bitter? Aren't you too young to be bitter? No, you can be young and bitter. Just maybe not as bitter as I'll be 10 years from now. But I'm bitter.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Anyway, don't tell anyone. Don't worry. Your bitterness is safe with me.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Okay. Order me a piece of cake. I'm gonna go throw up.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Look at my hands. Look. Filthy from the paper. They should give you a Wet-Nap when you buy one, like at those rib joints.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "What did you talk about? Oh, you know, the usual. The Federal Reserve, the rain forest. Cynthia felt we should nuke the rain forest. Get rid of it in one fell swoop so we could eliminate it as a subject of conversation.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, right. Yeah, right.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I've never fixed anybody up. Ugh! Me neither. And I am not about to start with George.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Well, why wouldn't you start with George? You think she's too good for George?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I didn't say 'too good,' did I? You implied it. I didn't say it. If you think she's too good for George, you are dead wrong. Dead wrong.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "What's with the eyebrows?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high. I went out with you.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "That's because my standards are too low.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "And by the way, women kill for eyebrows like that. Do you know that? Women pluck their real eyebrows out of their head one by one until they're bald, Jerry, bald above the eyes. And then they paint in these eyebrows to look like that.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Well, let me tell you something about George. He is fast. He can run like the wind. And he's strong. I've seen him lift 100 pounds over his head without even knowing it. You wouldn't know it to look at him, but George can bait a hook.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "He can really do that?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "We're going to tell each other everything? Every secret? Everything. What if it worked out? Yeah, right.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Why? No. I'm not going to do that. It's one step away from personal ads. Then prostitutes. No! No! I am not going down that road.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "What does she look like? She's good-looking. How good-looking? Very good-looking. Really good-looking? Really very good-looking. Would you take her out? Yes, I would. You hesitated.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "What hesitate? I didn't hesitate. Something's up. You hesitated.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "What about the body? Good body. Nice body. How nice? Nice. Pretty nice. Really good? Really very nice and good.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Funny. Bright. I don't want anyone smarter than me. How could she be smarter than you?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "He tried to poison his boss. Excuse me? It's such a long story. Seriously, he just had some problems at work.", "c": ["Elaine", "Cynthia"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "What does he look like? Well, he's got a lot of character in his face. He's short. Um, he's stocky. He's fat. Is that what you're saying, that he's fat? Powerful.", "c": ["Cynthia", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "He is so powerful. He can lift 100 pounds right up over his head.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "He's bald? No. No, no, no. He's not bald. He's balding. So he will be bald? Yeah.", "c": ["Cynthia", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Thick, lustrous hair is important to me.", "c": ["Cynthia"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "'Thick, lustrous hair is important to me.' Is that what you said? Right. Just clarifying.", "c": ["Jerry", "Cynthia"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "If you stick your hand in the hair, is it easy to get it out? Do you want to get it out? Or do you want to not be able to get it out? I'd like to be able to get it out. I think you'll get it out.", "c": ["Cynthia", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "What about the skin? I need a good cheek. I like a good cheek. She's got a fine cheek. Is there a pinkish hue? Yes, a rosy glow. There's a hue.", "c": ["Cynthia", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Who cares about eyebrows?", "c": ["Cynthia"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Is she sweet? I like sweet. But not too sweet. You could throw up from that. I don't think you'll throw up. She likes to throw up.", "c": ["Cynthia", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Has he been close? He once spent a weekend with a woman.", "c": ["Cynthia", "Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "He didn't really try to poison his boss. Yeah, he did.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "We had an incredible phone conversation. We talked for, like, 20 minutes. I threw away my notes in the middle of the call.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I thought she had a great voice timbre. Is it 'timbre' or 'tambre'? I think it's tambre. Why'd I think timbre?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "She could do voice-overs. You didn't tell me about her voice? It's mellifluous.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I am unbelievable on the phone. On the date, they should just have two phones on the table at the restaurant.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "See? I don't get that. We had a relaxed, stimulating, great conversation. She doesn't mention it? Why not mention it?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "You know my friend Bob Sakamano? The guy from Jersey. He just got a job at a condom factory. Look at this. He gave me a gross.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "What will you do with all of them? Oh, well... Take some, Jerry. Grab them.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "No, thanks. They look like they came out of a cereal box.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Half a bag? What am I, a hooker?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Anyway, they look kind of cheap. I'll take one.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I think we should have, like, a secret signal with the druggist. You walk into the store, go to the counter. He looks at you. And if you go like this-- He puts them in the bag for you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Show up there with your little shaving cream, your little toothpaste. How are you today? 'Have a nice day.' 'You too.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "It's George. He just got home. Yeah. I got Cynthia on the line. I'll call you back when I'm done. Remember our pact: full disclosure.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I'm gonna tell you, but I made a pact with Cynthia. We swore we wouldn't tell you and Elaine. You can tell. I'll vault it. It's in the vault? I'm locking the vault.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "We had sex. Oh, my God, you had sex? How did that happen? I don't know. I closed my eyes and made a move.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "At your apartment? Yeah. She didn't stay over? No. She left.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "He was uncomfortable because it was our first time. So he felt he'd perform better if we did it in the kitchen. What? He says the kitchen is the most sociable room in the house. And he was serious.", "c": ["Cynthia", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "So how was it? How good could it be? My head was on a hot plate.", "c": ["Elaine", "Cynthia"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "So, what did she say? What did he have to say? He said he had a good time. Her too. Oh, good. Anything else? No. You? No. You sure? Yeah. You? Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I left three messages. I can't believe this woman. We have sex, she leaves 10 minutes later, then I never hear from her again. What kind of a person does this? She used me. I feel cheap and violated.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Leaves you sitting there on the kitchen floor like some kind of roach trap. 'Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.' 'Sir.' Whatever.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I was smart. I was funny. I made great small talk with the waitress so she could see I could relate to the commoners. I'm a man of the people.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Don't call. No, I'm calling her. No, Jerry, I don't want you to. Get away from me. Give me the phone. You wanna fight me? Jerry, I'm gonna kill you.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "The next one of you that opens your mouth, you'll have to deal with me. I bet I know what this is about. It's about a woman, isn't it? You see! This is exactly what they want to do to you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "They play one against the other. You can't let them manipulate you like that. Come on, there are plenty women out there for all of us. Shake. Yes! You see? Isn't that better than fighting?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "You wanna fight with somebody, you fight with me. By the way, those condoms I gave you? They're defective. Don't use them.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "What? Yeah. Defective? Yeah. How could you give me a defective condom? I didn't even know they were defective. Didn't think you'd use them.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Don't worry. If anything was wrong, she'd have called you. I missed my period. Oh, my God! I am very worried. I am never late.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "Cynthia"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "But he used a condom, right? I know, but these things aren't always foolproof. Oh, no. What? Was it blue? Yeah. How'd you know? Just a hunch.", "c": ["Elaine", "Cynthia"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "It says 'twist-off.' Twist off! Twist! Off!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "What's the problem with your little flaky friend? She doesn't return calls? Who are you to talk about her like that? She'll call him when she's good and ready. You don't even know her. Oh, I know her. I know her type.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Her type? What type? The type that doesn't return calls. I knew we shouldn't have done it. It was a bad idea. I told you. You told me? You pushed this whole thing on me.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "I was just helping your bitter, twisted friend. She's not bitter. Bitter's a judgment call. She's twisted. Twisted? God, I did you a favor!", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Are you calling me a liar? I'm calling you one if you are. Are you? Get your finger out of my face. Get yours out. I don't care. Get out! Out! Out! Out!", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Now, don't you two see that you're in love with each other? I mean, why can't you face that already? You're running around looking for something not even there when everything you dream of is right here in front of you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "By the way, when you see George, give him these. These'll work. I knew those condoms were defective! How did you know they were defective?! Because! Because she missed her period!", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I can't believe it. I'm a father! I did it! My boys can swim! I can do it! I can do it! I'm a father!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "So he shows up. He's all out of breath. He's disheveled. And tells me that whatever happens, whatever I decide is fine with him and I could depend on him and that he'd support me in whatever way I need.", "c": ["Cynthia"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Elaine, I was speechless. Wow. Wow. You see? You think you know somebody. I said to him, 'I really appreciate this, but I just got my period.'", "c": ["Cynthia", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "This is good. Oh, this is good. Is that salt on this? Is there salt on this?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "But have you ever fixed anybody up? Why do we do it? Why? You thought they'd have a good time and little power trips for you, isn't it? Now you're playing God.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "Of course, God was the first person to fix people up. He fixed up Adam and Eve. I'm sure he said to Adam, 'No, she's nice. She's-- Yes, she's very free about her body. Doesn't really wear much. She was going out with a snake. I think that's over, though.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "The Fix Up"}, {"t": "At the health club, people are working out...and they're training, getting in shape...but strangely, nobody's really getting in shape for anything.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "The only reason that you're getting in shape...is that so you can get through the workout.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "So we're working out...so that we'll be in shape for when we have to do our exercise.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "The other thing I don't get is why we're so careful...about locking up our dirty towels and smelly jockstraps.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "What exactly is the black market on these disgusting gym clothes?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I'll give my car to any guy in front of a restaurant...because he's got a short red jacket.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "But my stinking, putrefied gym clothes...I got one of these locks...you could put a bullet through it and it won't open.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Wide open! I was wide-open underneath. I had three inches on that guy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "See, you two were hogging the ball. Me? It wasn't me. I never even saw the ball.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "All you do is dribble. I have to dribble. If I give it to you, you just shoot. You're a chucker.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm a chucker. Every time you get the ball, you shoot. I can't believe you called me a chucker.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "No way I'm a chucker! I do not chuck. Never chuck! Never have chucked! Never will chuck! No chuck!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "You chuck. -Kramer, am I a chucker? -Oh, you're a chucker.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "My God, I'm a chucker.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "All these years, you never told me? -It's not an easy thing to bring up.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, this is the first time we ever saw each other naked?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Believe me, I didn't see anything. Oh, you didn't sneak a peek? -No. Did you? -Yeah, I snuck a peek.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Why? -Why not?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, I...snuck a peek. But it was so fast, I didn't see anything. It was just a blur.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I made a conscious effort not to look. There's certain information I just don't wanna have.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Look at this guy. Does he have to stretch in here?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "You know who that is? That's Keith Hernandez. Keith Hernandez, the baseball player?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "He's a real smart guy too. He's a Civil War buff. Wow, I'd love to be a Civil War buff.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "What do you have to do to become a buff? So Biff wants to be a buff?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Well, sleeping less than 18 hours a day would be a start.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Hey, should we say something to him? Oh, I'm sure he loves to hear from fans in the locker room.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "He's Keith Hernandez. You're Jerry Seinfeld. So?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "What, you're comparing yourself...to Keith Hernandez? The guy's a baseball player, Jerry, baseball!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "What, you're making some wisecracks in a nightclub?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "The guy was in game six, two runs down, two outs, facing elimination!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I don't want to disturb you. I'm Keith Hernandez. And I just want to tell you what a big fan I am.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Really? I've always wanted to do what you do. Do what I do?! You're one of my favorite ballplayers of all time!", "c": ["Keith", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "You know, Keith, what I've always wondered is...with all these ball clubs flying around all season...wouldn't you think there'd be a plane crash?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "But think about it: 26 teams, 162 games a season. You'd think eventually, an entire team would just get wiped out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Well, it's only a matter of time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Who's this chucker?", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "It's been three days, and he hasn't called.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Well, maybe you should call him. I can't. I can't. Why not? I just feel like he should call me.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "What's the difference? You don't understand, Elaine. I don't want to be overanxious.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "If he wants to see me, he has my number. He should call.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I can't stand these guys. You give your number to them, and then they don't call.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Why do they do that? I'm sorry, honey.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I mean, I really thought he liked me. We were getting along. He came over to me. I didn't go over to him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Why did he come over to me? I mean, here I meet this great guy, this ballplayer...best guy I ever met.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Well, that's it. I'm never giving my number out to another guy again.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "You know, maybe he's been busy. Maybe he's been out of town. Oh, what, they don't have phones out of town?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I love how people say they're too busy. 'Too busy.' Pick up a phone! Takes two minutes. How can you be too busy?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Jerry, he's a guy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I know, but this is all very confusing. When you're in your 30s, it's very hard to make a new friend.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Whatever the group is you've got now, that's who you're going with. You're not interviewing, not looking at any new people.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "If I meet a guy at a club or a gym: 'Hey, look, I'm sure you're very nice. You seem to have a lot of potential. We're just not hiring right now.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "When you're a kid...you can be friends with anybody. If someone's in front of my house...that's my friend. They're my friend. That's it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Are you a grownup? No? Great. Come on in! Let's jump up and down on my bed!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "You like cherry soda? I like cherry soda! We'll be best friends!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "You know what I've discovered, Mrs. Sokol? It's not so much the looking...as the listening.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I listen for work. As I'm looking...and listening-- I'm also looking. You cannot discount looking. It's a combination. It's looking. And listening. Listening. And looking. But you must look.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Specific. Let's see....I've walked in and out of so many buildings. They all blend in together.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "One name. Absolutely. Let's see, there's....Vandalay Industries.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Latex. Latex manufacturing, Mrs. Sokol.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "The selling of latex and latex-related products.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "They just wouldn't give me a chance. Damn it!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "You like gum? Because I have a friend in the gum business. I got a gum guy!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I make one phone call, have boxes of gum delivered right to your door.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Vandalay is...129 West 81st Street. It's a very small industry, Vandalay.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "That's...KL5...8383. Are you planning on calling them soon? Because they have very strange hours.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "See the baby. Again with the baby. Can't they just send us a tape?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Maybe if you wait a few months, it won't be a baby anymore. Then you won't have to see it. Because he'll be all grown-up.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "It's too busy. You're trying too hard to make an impression on him. You're not being yourself.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Keith...Hernandez. Keith Hernandez! Keith Hernandez!", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "You know what? Bad mistake. My mistake. Go back. Your lane was better. Forget this lane. This lane stinks. Go back to your lane.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "That's it! Get out! What do you mean, get out? Get out of the cab! What? I'm not getting out of this cab. No! No! You cannot throw me out!", "c": ["Cab Driver", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I hate Keith Hernandez. Hate him! I despise him.", "c": ["Newman", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "June 14th, 1987, Mets-Phillies. We're enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the right-field stands...when a crucial Hernandez error opens the door...to a five-run Phillies ninth. Cost the Mets the game! Our day was ruined.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "As he passes us, Newman turns and says, 'Nice game, pretty boy.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Then, a second later, something happened...that changed us in a very deep and profound way...from that day forward.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "He spit on us! And I screamed out, 'I'm hit!'", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Then I turned, and the spit ricocheted off him, and it hit me.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, the immutable laws of physics contradict...the whole premise of your account.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Allow me to reconstruct this, if I may, for Ms. Benes...as I've heard this story a number of times.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "The spit then proceeds to ricochet...off the temple, striking Newman between the third and the fourth rib.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "The spit then splashed off the wrist, pauses...in midair, mind you...makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "That is one magic loogie.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.97, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Well, my head...went back, to the left. Say that again. Back and to the left. Back and to the left.", "c": ["Newman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "That there had to have been a second spitter.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.78, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Behind the bushes, on the gravelly road.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "But that's not what they would have you believe.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "The sad thing is, we may never know the real truth.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I was at the unemployment office. I told them I was very close to getting a job with Vandalay Industries...and I gave them your phone number.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I'm Vandalay Industries? Right. What is that? You're in latex. Latex? Right. What do I do with latex? I don't know! You manufacture it!", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Right here in this little apartment? And what do I say about you? You're considering hiring me for your latex salesman.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I don't think so. Why would I do that? Because I asked you to.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "If you think I'm looking for someone to just sit...pushing papers around, you can forget it. I've got enough headaches just trying to manufacture the stuff.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Should I shake his hand? You want to catch a movie this weekend? Have you seen JFK?", "c": ["Jerry", "Keith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "This weekend. Wow! Sure. That would be great. Damn. I was too overanxious. He must have noticed that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Go ahead, shake his hand. I'm Jerry Seinfeld. I've been on The Tonight Show.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, Jer, by the way...the woman we gave a ride to earlier....Elaine. Yeah. What's her story?", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I don't know. We used to go out. Would you mind if I gave her a call? For a date? Yeah. Oh, no....Go ahead.", "c": ["Jerry", "Keith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "What kind of a shake does he have? Good shake. Perfect shake. Single pump, not too hard. Didn't have to prove anything, but firm enough to know he was there.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "What date? It's a guy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "He's supposed to see me on Friday. We made plans! Well-- I'll cancel it. No, don't cancel it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I've never seen you jealous before. Well, you're not even a fan. I was at game six. You didn't even watch it.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Wait a second. Wait a minute. Are you jealous of him or are you jealous of me?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Vandalay Industries. Kell Varnsen speaking.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "If you don't see the baby now, you're never gonna see her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "What delay industries? No! Vandalay! Say Vandalay! No, you're way, way, way off!", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "And you want to be my latex salesman.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I hope you don't mind my saying, she is breathtaking. You think so? Would you take this picture away from me? Just take it away. Get it out of here.", "c": ["George", "Mrs. Sokol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "You trying to make a joke, Mrs. Sokol? It's not funny. I can tell you that. I'm serious. She doesn't.", "c": ["George", "Mrs. Sokol"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Unemployment, it's a tough thing. Even if you get a job after you've been unemployed...they take unemployment out of your check every week...and show it to you in that little box.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "How good can it be for your confidence that every paycheck...has the word 'unemployment' on it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "He's down there every week waiting on the lines and getting interviewed...and making up all these lies about looking for jobs.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "If they had any idea the effort and energy that he is expending...to avoid work, I'm sure they'd give him a raise.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "The guy is doing a tremendous job...not working.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Do you love her? Yes, I do love her. You have a very nice place here. So who do you think she looks like? Lyndon Johnson.", "c": ["Michael", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "What? Lyndon Johnson? He's joking. No, I'm not joking. She looks like Lyndon Johnson.", "c": ["Carol", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Billions and billions.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "But it's Saturday. All the offices are closed. I got me an appointment with a hardware store.", "c": ["Carrie", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "I'm not saying I want to do it for the rest of my life...but hardware fascinates me. Wouldn't you love to make a key?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Will I call you when I get home? What do you think? You kill me. You really kill me.", "c": ["George", "Carrie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "Nobody ever wants you to come over and see their grandfather, do they? 'You've got to see my grandfather. You've got to see him. He's so cute. 168 pounds, 4 ounces.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Boyfriend (1)"}, {"t": "\"You hungry? Tuna sandwich is $9. You don't like it, go back to your own country.\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "I think the whole airport-airline complex is a huge scam just to sell the tuna sandwiches", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "The terminals, the airplanes... it's all just a distraction... so that you don't notice the beating that you're taking on the tuna", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "Clock interaction sequence - man refuses to use his own watch despite wearing one", "c": ["Jerry", "Airport man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"We're living in a society!\"", "c": ["Airport man"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"One mile from the exit, it starts shaking, violently shaking... like it's having a nervous breakdown\"", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"So you have no car.\" \"No.\" \"So, what good are you?\"", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"If he knew O'Brien, he wouldn't have a sign\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"What's gonna happen? They can't kill us.\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "Irish name negotiation - George wants to be Dylan Murphy instead of just himself", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Hey, do you have the time?\" \"Clock over there.\"", "c": ["Jerry", "Airport man"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "George calls his mother from limo - entire conversation about not being able to explain", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"She happy for you?\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "Testing if driver can hear by suggesting picking up his sister for fun", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"My dear fellow, where are you dropping us?\" in affected accent", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "George attempts to quote George Bernard Shaw and completely mangles it", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"That's right, baby doll.\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"What other members of our party? I didn't even know we were in a party.\"", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"It was a bad jig. We never should've started it.\" \"It was a good jig.\" \"It was a bad jig. A terrible, terrible jig.\"", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"First, you don't look like any O'Brien.\" \"You should've been O'Brien.\"", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Who are you, Mannix?\" in response to jump and roll suggestion", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Oh, yes, he's very proud of his work in The Big Game.\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "Elaine's salary interrogation and Jerry's response about knowing how much George makes", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "Kramer demonstrates 360 dunk, presumably failing spectacularly in confined space", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"You see a limo go by, you know it's either a rich guy... or 50 prom kids with $1.75 each.\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Most of the time, you feel like... you're in some depressing single guy's apartment from, like, 1975.\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"You're counting, there must've been 10,000 asses already on this seat.\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Think someone's been tipped off?\" in response to missing tip-off", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "Elaine's fake praise for 'The Big Game' - \"it's changed my life... left me breathless... brilliant man\"", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"The fate of the world depends on the outcome of this game.\"", "c": ["Nazi follower"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"O'Brien? Why would he wanna be called O'Brien?\"", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"And the Jews steal our money... through their Zionist-occupied government...\"", "c": ["George reading"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"You're not gonna open with that, are you?\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.85, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"I'm ready to die for you.\"", "c": ["Eva"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Nice-looking Luger.\"", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "Kramer's conspiracy theory about Jerry being too clean and organized", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Jerry's a Nazi?\" \"I can't even believe I didn't see it.\"", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Kind of a cute Nazi, though.\"", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "George's hotel bed story - hurt hamstring trying to kick out tight sheets", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"It's for a mental patient.\" about tight hotel sheets", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"The Jews hate grass. They always have, always will.\"", "c": ["Neo-Nazi"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Okay?\" after George establishes hierarchy with Tim", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"No one's ever been shot in the city.\"", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Always so clean and organized.\" as evidence Jerry is a Nazi", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"He's just neat.\" - Elaine defending Jerry", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"And you don't look like a Murphy.\" \"I may not look like one... but I act like a Murphy.\"", "c": ["Neo-Nazi", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"He's extremely Murphy. To a fault.\"", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "Jerry's fake Irish backstory ending with 'Cereal famine. Couldn't get a bowl anywhere.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"The peat.\" delivered with fake Irish reverence", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"There's no real person can act the way he does.\" about George", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"George and Jerry, they probably know who killed Kennedy.\"", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"How's tricks, Murphy?\" from cross-eyed man", "c": ["Cross-eyed man"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"He was talking to me. He's cross-eyed. It could be very confusing.\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"We did not want to antagonize the Nazis.\"", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"I don't wanna make a Nazi unhappy.\"", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"I am not O'Brien! I am not O'Brien!\"", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "Nazi casual 'Heil' bit - office small talk combined with Nazi salutes", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "\"Can I have one of those doughnuts?\" with casual Heil", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "The Limo"}, {"t": "The concept behind phones is that we all have absolutely nothing to say and we've got to talk to someone about it right now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "You gotta give people a chance to miss you a little!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "It's safer. Plus, it's more annoying to the other person.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "How could you not give a thank-you wave? Hey, buddy, where's my thank-you wave?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "What are you, yellow?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Your left rear tire's a little low. That can affect the performance of the twin I-beam suspension, not to mention your rack-and-pinion steering.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "So I wound up going out for a decaf cappuccino with her.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "I'm speechless, speechless. I have no speech.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Love when they touch your arm. I can't get enough of that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Let's not even analyze it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Oh, you dig?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "That's why I've never been in a long-term relationship. I never had a good meeting story.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "What am I drinking, milk?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Queens?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "So I said to him, 'Whatever's necessary.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "I am without speech.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Tell her about the shoving.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "so I went into a karate stance.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "That's where England used to send their convicts. But not anymore.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "I was watching Entertainment Tonight and suddenly I got dizzy and hit my head on the coffee table.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "They're always trying to make me feel like their life is so much better.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "You know, I have a very exciting life. It's very exciting.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Eduardo Caroccio.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "They don't really fight the bull. They avoid fighting the bull.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Bread.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "I wasn't gonna say anything, but I saw he wasn't gonna open his mouth.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "But from what I understand, not a very good driver. Hits everything on the road, but always leaves a note.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Quinn said he never felt so good as when he left a note after smacking into a car.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Kirk Douglas. Now, there's another very bad driver. But he's such an unbelievable guy when he hits someone, he doesn't leave a note. He sits in his car and waits for the other person.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Because as the husband, he has the right of first refusal.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "unless she's one of these multiple sneezers and he's holding his 'God bless you' in abeyance until she completes the series.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "What if she's having an off night?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "It's a stupid 'stuperstition.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "You should say, 'You're so good-looking.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Mary Hart's voice! There's something about Mary Hart's voice that's giving you seizures. Just like that woman in Albany!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "It's so adult. It's like with stockings and martinis and William Holden.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "On the other hand, it probably wouldn't cost me any money.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "It's like hitting a car and driving away without leaving a note.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "The blond with the blue sweatpants.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Wait, wait, wait. How do you know it's not John Tesh?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "It's too bad you can't say anything because of Angela.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Angela. Lousy thug.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "I actually owe it to society to do something about this!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "saying 'God bless you' to every Tom, Dick and Harry, at great personal risk.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I must be crazy. What have I done?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "You didn't commit adultery. I did.", "c": ["Robin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "In three years with Michael, not one 'God bless you.'", "c": ["Robin"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Is she with your bald friend from the other night?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "I'm gonna sew his ass to his face!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "I'm gonna twist his neck so hard his lips will be his eyebrows!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "You're so good-looking.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "I'll pluck your body hairs out with my teeth!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "French Connection kind of thing. You know, sort of a Popeye Doyle chase through the city.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "He said he was gonna sew your ass to your face.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "You lie! How hard is it to lie!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "until you got her juiced up with your story about the affair with the matador!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Eduardo Caroccio. That's good. That's very good. Kind of just rolls off the tongue.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "Perhaps, Zabar's. Or Ray's Pizza.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "$875? That's right.", "c": ["Becky"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "So, what are you doing this weekend?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "You are so good-looking.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "You got a date with Becky Gelke?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "A man is paralyzed, mentally, by a beautiful woman.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "All right, if she's next to the ratchet set and I had that ratchet set, I wonder if that would mean that... I better just buy that ratchet set.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Good Samaritan"}, {"t": "And the lady went, 'Really?' I mean, even the Ginsu people have given up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Perhaps you're not buying the highest grade of meat available.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Maybe you ought to think about not getting the 'hoof cut' once in a while.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "What is it about sleep that makes you so thirsty? Do dreams require liquid?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Jerry waking up to find Kramer in his apartment", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "I was watching Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo... and I wanted to get some popcorn... so I used the spare keys", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Kramer using Jerry's bathroom with the door open while Jerry desperately needs to use it", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Is that my towel? - Yes.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "You ever pretend there's murderers chasing you and see how fast you can get into your apartment?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Jerry and Elaine actually playing the murderer game", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Kramer appearing just as they finish the game", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "The entire key exchange argument and physical struggle", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "I broke the covenant of the keys.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "I was clinging to those keys, man... like a branch on the banks of a raging river... and now I have let go. And I'm free to go with the current... to float.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Having the keys to Jerry's apartment... that kept me in a fantasy world... Better food, better view, better TV. Cleaner. Oh, much cleaner.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "I was living in twilight, George. Living in the shadows, living in the darkness... like you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Do you ever yearn? - Yearn? Do I yearn? - I yearn. - You yearn? Oh, yes. Yes, I yearn. Often I sit and yearn.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "I crave all the time. Constant craving. But I haven't yearned.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "The entire interrogation sequence where Kramer systematically destroys George's life", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning? - I like to get the Daily News.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "'These pretzels are making me thirsty'? That was one line. You got fired.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Up here, I'm already gone.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "I want mine back. - What for? - Because I'll give them to Jerry. - Jerry? Why? - Because he gave me his. - So what? - So if he has my keys, I should have his.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "I gotta get some new friends.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Newman's entire scene as Kramer's apartment occupier", "c": ["Newman", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Hit me, Seinfeld, I got witnesses.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "So he packed a grip and he split for the coast. La-la land. L.A.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, I saw it. I mean, it was complete bull... But I saw.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Ask her about Kramer. - She's drunk out of her mind.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "The entire motorcycle ride with the psychotic driver", "c": ["Kramer", "Motorcycle driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Lean! Lean!", "c": ["Motorcycle driver"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "The entire key logic argument between Jerry and George", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Wanna fight? - I'll fight you! - Let's go. - Nothing in the face! - Okay.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "If that ogre dude pulled that crap on me... I'd stab him! I'd cut him in half! I'd gut him like a fish, man!", "c": ["Hippie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "You think these hands have been soaking in Ivory Liquid, huh?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Maybe because it's a crock of sh... - What's that? - Nothing.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Well, nothing's sexier than a woman behind the wheel of a semi. - Nothing? - Well...", "c": ["Kramer", "Truck driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Unless I pull down on this statuette and a hidden wall opens up... we have checked every square inch of this apartment.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Jerry and George discovering Elaine's Murphy Brown script", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Elaine's fury at Jerry and George for reading her script", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "The final key exchange chaos with everyone returning keys", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Oh, God, what an ass...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Kramer appearing on Murphy Brown as Steven Snell", "c": ["Kramer", "Murphy Brown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "Jerry's airplane keys standup routine", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "The Letter"}, {"t": "In parking lots, they have this 'compact car only' spot. Isn't that discrimination against the size of your car? If I want my ass hanging out of the back of my parking spot... that's my business.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "There are people with real asses hanging out of their pants. Nobody's stopping them. Nobody goes, 'Hey, hold it, sir. Those are compact jeans. You can't pull that in there.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I got bad news for you, buddy. I think your car got stolen again.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "What's the difference? / Well, there's no difference. You know, I'm just curious. / Always have to know everything that's going on, don't you?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "If I don't tell you, it'll kill you, won't it? / Yeah, yeah. It'll kill me. / You have to know. / You must know. / I must know.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not telling you. / Come on. / Nope. I don't think so. / Well, please? / Not today, pal.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Now, see, just saying 'beg' doesn't make it a real beg. You gotta put some beg into it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "All right, but your begging needs a lot of work.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Why didn't they ask me to go? / Would you stop it, already? / Why didn't they ask me to go? / I don't know! How am I supposed to know? / What, they don't like me? / I don't like you.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "All bald people look good in hats. You should have lived in the '20s and '30s. Men wore hats all the time then. What a bald paradise that must have been. Nobody knew.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "What if I meet a woman? I'd always worry about that first moment where I take it off... and see that look of disappointment on her face.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Because I'm like ice, buddy. When I don't like you, you got problems.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Come on. What'd he say? / Why is that? Why do you have to know everything?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "And I don't want you to say it. I want you to put some beg in it. Go on.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I'm not saying anything. I'm putting it in the vault. I'm locking the vault. It's a vault!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "He thinks you're a phoney. / He what? / I told you. He thinks you're a phoney. / A phoney? He called me a phoney? / A big phoney. Big one.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Why did you tell me that if I can't say anything? / You begged me.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "You had to move the mirror. I wanted to check out my sunglasses. Went to look in the mirror, it was gone. You threw off my equilibrium.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Nobody drives like me. Nobody. I'm doing things in this car, you have no idea they're going on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Nobody in my family can pay for parking. It's a sickness. My father never paid for parking. My mother. My brother. Nobody.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "It's like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay when, if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Dreams can come true. What did I tell you? You didn't even have to take it out to dinner.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I wish you could make a living parallel parking.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "It's all geometry, knowing all the angles... when to make that first turn and when to... swing it back in. That's the key.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "There's nothing I can impart to you. That's the sad thing. It's so inborn. I can't pass it on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I'm not sneaking! I didn't even know you were parking. You were just sitting there.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "But I'm backing in, you can't put it in headfirst! / I can if I have room!", "c": ["George", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Make sure he reserves the good chair for me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "We were at the tollbooth at the Henry Hudson Parkway, okay? And there were these, like, this pack... of extremely wild teenagers in a convertible behind us, okay?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "George is such a great driver. / He is? / He is fantastic.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "And then they fired a gun right up in the air! / A gun? / I think it was a gun.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "By the way, the car hit a pothole, and now it's making a clanking noise.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Well, I mean, as long as you're okay, that... That's the important thing. / Exactly.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Crazy kids, huh? / What?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "It's my cuticle.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "What's the difference? / Because I know him too... and probably a lot better than you. / Well, bully for you.", "c": ["Mike", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Yeah. He's a real phoney.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I'll sleep in my car if I have to. I'll die out here.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "25-percent bran flakes. The 40 percent was too much, so I found a store to make it special. They take it down another 15 percent.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Front-first. That's how you park when you're pulling a bank job.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I told him a pack of teenagers in a convertible were terrorizing us... and they followed us into the city.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "You are a genius. It's as simple as that. / What can I say? You know, it's a gift.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I only wish I could teach you, but, you know, it's inborn.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "People forget. Look at Home Alone. They forgot.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Judgment, Jerry, judgment. You exercise no judgment!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I don't care for that sorry. / What's wrong with that sorry? That was a good sorry. / It was a so-so sorry.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I got a truck full of ice cream here!", "c": ["Ice cream truck driver"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Amazing how they pick you out of everyone to terrorize. / Yeah. I know. I said to myself, 'Why us?' You remember?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I couldn't help it! Elaine moved the mirror! I got discombobulated! / Like you've ever been 'bobulated.'", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "No, I never said I was a good driver, I said, I was a good parker. / Parker. I never said driver. I said, parker. Great parker.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Why is it every time you park a car in this block... everything gets disrupted and disjointed?", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I'm making a stand here. I'm saying no to headfirst parking! We put up with too much crap in this city! We're not putting up with headfirst parking!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "You're not even old enough to drive, you little puke. / You just spit on me! / Don't you raise your voice to me. You're not my father!", "c": ["Mike", "Matthew", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I hear your father's closing his store. / What? / No. Nothing. / What's happened to Daddy? He's going out of business? / We're not going to have any money?", "c": ["Jerry", "Matthew"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Congratulations. / What for? / Well, you're pregnant. / What? / You're not pregnant? / No, I'm not pregnant. / Are you sure you're not pregnant? / Yes, I'm sure!", "c": ["Jerry", "Woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Once I open the vault... it ceases to be a vault.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "It reduces us to jungle law.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "There! There it is! Run!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Man, that Michael Jordan is so phoney.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "Wait a second. Why can't he go in headfirst? / He said the guy was just sitting over there. / What are you talking about? This guy was here first. / But he didn't take it. / Hey! It's his space! / No, it's his space!", "c": ["Police Officer", "Various"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "You'll have to go to work! / I don't have a job! / Neither do I!", "c": ["George", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "People will kill each other for a parking space in New York.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "It's like musical chairs, except everybody sat down around 1964.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "They're not making any new spaces. That's what they should work on. Wouldn't that be great? You go to the auto show, they got that big revolving turntable... and there's nothing on it. 'New from Chrysler: a space.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Parking Space"}, {"t": "I bought the Ginsu knife. I did buy the Ginsu knife.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "And the lady went, 'Really?' I mean, even the Ginsu people have given up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "if you need a knife that can cut through a shoe... perhaps you're not buying the highest grade of meat available.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Maybe you ought to think about not getting the 'hoof cut' once in a while.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "What is it about sleep that makes you so thirsty? Do dreams require liquid?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Why is the door open?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Kramer, what are you doing here?! / Jerry, now calm down. It's okay.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "I was watching Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo... and I wanted to get some popcorn... so I used the spare keys", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "It's not broken.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "What does it look like? What?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Is that my towel? / Yes.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "You ever pretend there's murderers chasing you... and see how fast you can get into your apartment?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "I'm from Wichita.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Boy, that was close. Did you see the look on that guy's face?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "You've lost your key privileges.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "How was I to know it would be sold out? / That's the point. / What point?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Oh, great! Okay, all right. Fine, you go ahead. Take the keys. But you're gonna regret this.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Goochie.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "I broke the covenant of the keys.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "I was clinging to those keys, man... like a branch on the banks of a raging river... and now I have let go. And I'm free to go with the current... to float.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Should I give you my keys? Is that the transaction, trading keys?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Every time I went over to his house, it was like I was on vacation. Better food, better view, better TV. Cleaner. Oh, much cleaner.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "I was living in twilight, George. Living in the shadows, living in the darkness... like you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "I can barely see you, George.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Do you ever yearn? / I yearn. / You yearn? / Oh, yes. Yes, I yearn. Often I sit and yearn.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "I craved. I crave all the time. Constant craving. But I haven't yearned.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "What you call wasting, I call living. I'm living my life.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Do you have a job? No. You got money? No. Do you have a woman? No. Do you have any prospects? No. You got anything on the horizon? No. Do you have any action at all? No.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "I like to get the Daily News.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.95, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "'These pretzels are making me thirsty'? That was one line. You got fired.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Up here, I'm already gone.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "he wants my keys, so I need mine back from you. Because you have his keys? Why does he need yours? I don't know, he said he wants to be my key brother.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "So if he has my keys, I should have his. I don't see why if you have his... he should have yours. I just said the same thing. What? What?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "I gotta get some new friends.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Don't play coy with me, I'm not in the mood. Coy? I'm not being coy. Are you being coy? Yeah, coy. You're being coy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Newman", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Listen, Tiny... I wanna know where Kramer is, and I wanna know now!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "So he packed a grip and he split for the coast. La-la land. L.A.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Oh, you didn't see it? Yeah, I saw it. I saw it. I saw it. Yep.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "I don't know what you said, but it was something. I heard something.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "She's drunk out of her mind.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "There was a rock in the road. It couldn't have been more than a pebble. Never really saw it.", "c": ["Motorcycle driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Broke every bone in my face. You know, when they found me... my eyes were hanging out of their sockets.", "c": ["Motorcycle driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Yeah, they pronounced me dead at the scene. Was in a coma for.... Well, they told me about a year. Said I'd be a vegetable for life. Yeah, but I showed them.", "c": ["Motorcycle driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Of course, since then, I always wear a helmet. Lean. Lean!", "c": ["Motorcycle driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "So technically, those are my keys. If you'd never taken your keys from Kramer... he never would have given his to me. In which case, I wouldn't have had to take mine back from her.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "And then the evil ogre took back the magical keys... from the handsome young prince.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "If that ogre dude pulled that crap on me... I'd stab him! I'd cut him in half! I'd gut him like a fish, man!", "c": ["Hippie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "have you ever killed a man? What do you think? You think these hands have been soaking in Ivory Liquid, huh?", "c": ["Hippie", "Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "You're right. How did I miss that? Maybe because it's a crock of sh--", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "What do they look like? Like keys. They look like keys, George. They look exactly like keys. 'What do they look like?'", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Jerry, unless I pull down on this statuette and a hidden wall opens up... we have checked every square inch of this apartment.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "'Murphy Brown'? By Elaine Benes'? Elaine's writing a Murphy Brown?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "You-- You weasels! How dare you! We hardly read anything. It was funny.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Oh, god, what an ass--", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "What did you say? I didn't say anything. I heard something. Elaine, Elaine, it's Kramer! Kramer's on Murphy Brown!", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "So I fly a lot. I was on a plane the other day and I was wondering... are there keys to the plane?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Maybe the pilot's up in the cockpit going: 'Oh, I don't believe this. Oh, my God... I did it again.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "'Ladies and gentlemen... we're gonna be delayed here a little while. I.... Oh, God, this is so embarrassing. I left the keys to the plane in my apartment.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "You see technicians, you think they're servicing it... but they're looking for the magnet Hide-A-Key under the wing. 'Maybe he left it up there somewhere.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Keys"}, {"t": "Pioneers moving thousands of miles just for a summer vacation", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Yeah, it took us a decade to get there...and we stayed for the summer. It was nice. It had a pool. The kids loved it.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'We had a great summer. It took us 20 years...and now our lives are over.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Kramer was on Murphy Brown? That son of a gun.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'She show her breasts in that?' casual inquiry about Candice Bergen", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'My previous record was when Jodi Hirsch asked me not to tell anybody we slept together. I kept a lid on that for about 28 seconds.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "George's rapid-fire list of travel demands and concerns", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Could we do the Universal tour? They have that Backdraft exhibit. Now, that looks very cool to me.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Kramer's color-based acting technique explanation", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'And you have a full palette of emotions.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Kramer being ejected from the Murphy Brown set", "c": ["Kramer", "Security"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'I haven't worked since 1934. How do you think I am?'", "c": ["Helene"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Fifty-eight years. It was a Three Stooges short.'", "c": ["Helene"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Helene's dark version of Three Stooges plot with dead baby and executions", "c": ["Helene"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Well, I don't remember that part.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'I was engaged to Mickey Rooney. He left me at the altar.'", "c": ["Helene"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'What is this? We're going on a two-day trip. What are you, Diana Ross?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'I happen to dress based on mood.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "George's elaborate explanation of his clothing variations", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'This is morning mist.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Just the trees, Johnny. Just the trees.'", "c": ["TV Detective"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Look at this guy. He's like a cat burglar. He thinks if he goes through real slow, the machine won't detect him.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'I've always been nervous about going through these things. I'm afraid I'm gonna step into another dimension.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'A lot of men wear anklets.' / 'Really?'", "c": ["Security", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "George using moisturizer revelation and security reaction", "c": ["George", "Security"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'I must have iron-rich blood.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Jerry's airport cart people rant", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Wave to the cart people, Timmy. They're the best people in the world.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'If you're too fat, slow and disoriented to get to your gate on time, you're not ready for air travel.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Excuse me, there's no animated pirates or bears along the way here. Do your legs work at all?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Multiple audition options at casting office", "c": ["Receptionist"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'You scream good.' / 'You too.'", "c": ["Kramer", "Actor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Kramer's Eva Braun miniseries pitch", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'What was it like having sex with Adolf Hitler? What do you wear in a bunker?'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Kramer's awkward encounter with Fred Savage", "c": ["Kramer", "Fred Savage"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'It's fate. You can't avoid your fate.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "George's elaborate bed-making instructions to Lupe", "c": ["George", "Lupe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'I like to have my toes pointed up in the air. I just like to scrunch up the blankets.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "The tuck/no-tuck confusion escalation", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Lupe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Lupe throwing away Jerry's napkin with jokes", "c": ["Lupe", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Hey, hey! It's not Lupe's fault.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'You shouldn't have tucked.' / 'I like it tucked.' / 'Nobody tucks anymore.'", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'What kind of expression is that?' / 'I don't know, sir. Police lingo.'", "c": ["Detective", "Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "George meeting and immediately fanboying over Corbin Bernsen", "c": ["George", "Corbin Bernsen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "George's cat-killing story to Corbin Bernsen", "c": ["George", "Corbin Bernsen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'I go out to the garbage, I find you a new cat in 15 seconds.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'You show me an autopsy report that says this cat died of starvation, I spring for a new cat.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "George's suggestion about changing L.A. Law setting from bar to community center", "c": ["George", "Corbin Bernsen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'You got toilet paper on your heel there.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Corbin Bernsen retelling George's cat story on The Tonight Show", "c": ["Corbin Bernsen"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "George Wendt retelling George's L.A. Law advice story", "c": ["George Wendt"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'These hands have been soaking in Ivory Liquid?'", "c": ["Kramer via George Wendt"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'That's the same guy I talked to.' / 'Never ends, does it?'", "c": ["George Wendt", "Corbin Bernsen"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Jerry's bombing on The Tonight Show with conveyor belt bit", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "'Yes. Lupe. I'm blaming Lupe.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Kramer being identified as murder suspect on TV news", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "Jerry's closing bit about talk show hosts and time management", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "The Trip (1)"}, {"t": "I think we just caught a break. All right. So that's one tuck and one no-tuck.", "c": ["Unknown hotel worker"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "So that's when I said, 'Hey, Kramer, dude, you ever kill a man before?'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "It seems to me that 'chalk outline guy' is one of the better jobs that you can get.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "You know, it's not too dangerous. The criminals are long gone. That seems like a good one.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "I guess they're people that wanted to be sketch artists but they couldn't draw too well.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "'Listen, Johnson, forget the sketches. Do you think if we left the body right there on the sidewalk you could manage to trace around it? Could you do that?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "How does that even help them solve the crime? They look at the thing. 'His arm was like that when he hit the pavement. That means the killer must have been Jim.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "We hope he's not the guy. - Couldn't be the guy.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "God, I'm starved. I'm weak with hunger. How can you think of food at a time like this? A time like what? I'm hungry. My stomach doesn't know that Kramer's wanted.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "The three-hour time difference threw me. I wanted a tuna fish sandwich. They wouldn't serve me one because they were only serving breakfast. You should've had some eggs. For lunch? Who eats eggs for lunch?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Have you ever heard of egg salad?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Why didn't you say something? I gotta tell you about egg salad?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Pay phone in L.A. Look, it's a miracle.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "We need change. All I got is 20s. I have a 10. So break it. I hate asking for change. They make a face. It's like I'm asking them to donate a kidney.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "So buy something. What? I don't know. Some mints or Tic Tacs. Breath problem? No. I just want some change. Tell me. Your breath is fine. It's delightful. It's delicious.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Why don't you just call 911? But is this an emergency? Of course it is. How is this an emergency? Your friend has been accused of being a serial killer. I think that qualifies.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Hello, 911? How are you? I'm sorry. Just a reflex.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "What is my name? Who am I? I'm George Costanza. What's the matter? Are you crazy? What are you using my name for?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Your name is a good name. Costanza. Sounds like it stands for something. They'll believe us. Really? Sure. You think so? Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Excuse me, where are we? Earth.", "c": ["Jerry", "Stranger"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, I'm on the phone with the police. Some guy just gave me a wise answer.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Excuse me, what street are we on? I don't know. You don't know? I don't know. How could you not know what street you're on? You don't know.", "c": ["Jerry", "Woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "He's gonna send a black and white to pick us up. Black and white? Cop car. Why didn't you just say that? I thought it sounded cool. Yeah, real cool. You're a cool guy.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Hi. How are you? Guys, listen, do either one of you have a mint, or a piece of gum, or something?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "You guys ever shot anybody? No. No. Can I flip on the siren? Why are you bothering them? I'm just asking. All they have to do is say no.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "You know what I've never understood? Why did they change the siren noise? When I was a kid, it was always: [mimicking old siren] You know, and now it's: [mimicking new siren]", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Why'd they do that? Did they do some research? Did they find out 'woo-woo' is more effective than 'waa'?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Clean as a whistle. You could eat off that shotgun. What is that, a 12-gauge? Yeah. Twelve-gauge. Seems to be the most popular gauge.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Cop"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Makes the 11-gauge look like a cap pistol.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "There's a bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies up there. What kind? Milano. Cops eating Milanos? What kind of crazy town is this?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "I can't believe that cops still have to read that whole 'you have the right to remain silent' speech to every criminal they arrest.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Is there anybody that doesn't know that by now? Can't they go, 'You're under arrest. You ever seen a Baretta?' 'Yeah.' 'Good. Get in the car.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "What do you tip a chambermaid? I don't know. Five bucks a night. No. A dollar. Two, tops.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, you guys aren't cuffed. What are you, narcs? Narcs. Imagine. Us, narcs.", "c": ["Criminal", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "No, no. No, actually, we're friends of a serial killer. Just trying to help him out. Really? Yeah. That's very nice. Thank you.", "c": ["Jerry", "Criminal"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "A dollar a night? Yeah. That's a good tip. That stinks. I read it in Ann Landers. Ann Landers sucks!", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Criminal"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "What? Me? Fabulous. Just fabulous. I got a lot of auditions, a lot of callbacks. I got a lot of interest in my movie treatment. You know, I'm in development. I'm developing vehicles.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Man, there's a lot of energy here, man. You know, the vibe, it's powerful. I'm just swept up in it. Yeah, I'm a player. You're a player? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm a player.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, guess who I met today. Fred Savage. Oh, nice kid. A really good kid. You know, we're talking about doing a project together.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Do you know why you're here? What, this? I'll be out of here in a couple of hours.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Help me! Oh, God, help me! Get me out of here! George, Jerry, get me out! Get me...! I didn't kill anyone. I swear. I swear to God!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Don't you ever swear to my God, Kramer. My God protects the innocent and punishes evil scum like you.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Now, you might beat the gas chamber, Kramer. But as long as I've got a breath you will never see the light of day again.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, right. Maybe it was one of your other personalities. What? The wise guy, the little kid, the bellhop, the ballplayer? Maybe the door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman, but not you.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "You saw a life, brimming brightly with optimism and verve, and you just had to snuff it out.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Maybe the pervert in the park had a present in his pants, huh?", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "You're a weed. Society's filled with them. You're choking the life out of all the pretty flowers.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "How'd you know about the guy in the park?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Yes, I'm free because the murderer struck again. Hey!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Do? Do? Hey, I'm doing what I do. You know, I've always done what I do. I'm doing what I do. The way I've always done it, and the way I'll always do it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "That L.A.'s a cold place even in the middle of summer. That it's a lonely place even when you're stuck in traffic on the freeway?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "That I'm no better than the screenwriter driving a cab, the starlet turning tricks, the producer in a house he can't afford?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not saying that. You know, things are going pretty well for me here. I met a girl. Kramer, she was murdered.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you know, I wasn't looking for a long-term relationship.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 9.07, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "I was on TV. As a suspect in a serial killing. Okay, yeah, all right. You guys gotta put a negative spin on everything.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "What do they put in this tuna? Tastes like a dill. I think it's a dill.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "No, it's a tarragon. Oh, you're crazy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "You know, it's so nice when it happens good.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Think she gets to take any of those little bars of soap home? No, I don't. You'd think when they hand out the checks, they'd throw in a few soaps.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, maybe they should throw in a couple of lamps too.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "I'll tell you, if I owned a company, my employees would love me. They'd have huge pictures of me on the walls and in their home. Like Lenin.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I forgot. That's why communism didn't work.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "No, no. I don't like this one. It's too yellow.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "He is described as 5'5\", bald, and reputedly a very generous tipper.", "c": ["TV News"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "And they actually recommend that people stay indoors during the smog alert. Now, maybe I'm way off, but don't you think? Wouldn't you assume that the air in the house pretty much comes from the air in the city where the house is?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "What do they think? We live in a jar with a couple of holes punched in the top?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "'All right, kids, I want you in the house and get some fresh air. Summer vacation. Everybody indoors.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "The Trip (2)"}, {"t": "He's got the three-cornered hat, knickers...and the Def Leppard shirt.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "So it's the whole community that's been grounded.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Don't come down till you make some noodles and raise a barn.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "What did they do for toilet paper in the Civil War?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Everything with you comes down to toilet paper...That's always the first question with you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "They should have a toilet-paper museum. Would you like that?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "The development of the perforation. The first six-pack.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I'm unbelievable at spelling last names. Give give me a last name.", "c": ["Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "George. All right. All right.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "You coach a gymnastics team in high school, and you're married.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Why should I care if my son's into gymnastics? - You're the teacher. It's only natural. - But gymnastics is not for everybody.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "What person who runs an antique store gets involved in people's lives?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I could see if I was a pharmacist. Because a pharmacist knows what's wrong with everybody.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Who wouldn't tune in to see a woman with a mustache?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "A guy who's just a head.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Look, the show isn't about the circus. It's about watching freaks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "People, they wanna watch freaks. This is a 'can't miss.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I had a girlfriend. And she was pretty wild. - I don't remember you with a girl. - Nevertheless.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Hey, you know you're getting gypped over here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Are you reneging out of the deal? Are you reneging? - That's a renege. - Stop saying 'reneging.'", "c": ["Newman", "Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Does that thing work? - No.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Salsa is now the number-one condiment in America. Do you know why? Because people like to say 'salsa.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Do you have any salsa? We need more salsa. Where is the salsa? No salsa?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "You know, it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I wanted seltzer, not salsa. Don't you know the difference between them? You have the seltzer after the salsa.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "This should be the show. This is the show. - What? - This. Just talking.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "It's about nothing. - No story? - No, forget the story. - You gotta have a story. - Who says you gotta have a story?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Remember when we were waiting for that table in that Chinese restaurant? That could be a TV show.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "People are always saying to me, 'You know, you're quite a character.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "We? Since when are you a writer? - What writer? We're talking about a sitcom.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I don't like it. - What don't you like? - I don't like the idea of a character based on me.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I get to play Kramer. - You can't play Kramer. - I am Kramer. - But you can't act.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Okay, fine, we'll use Newman.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Because the radar detector, as I understand it, detects radar! With a series of beeps and flashing lights.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, yeah. You better think again, MoJumbo.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Karma Kramer?", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Salsa, seltzer. Do you have any salsa? No, not seltzer, salsa.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "They're men with jobs, Jerry! They wear suits and ties. They're married. They have secretaries!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "That's pretty good.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "You're under no obligation to shake my hand.", "c": ["Joe Davola"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "You do the karate, right? - Yeah, you wanna hit me?", "c": ["Jerry", "Joe Davola"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "He's doing something. I don't know. It's nothing. He's not doing anything.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Give my best to Hinckley.", "c": ["Joe Davola"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Who are they? - They're nobody. - What about me? - What about you? - Why them? Why not me? - Why not you? - I'm just as good as them. - Better. - You really think so? - No.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "La Cocina. Actually, it was off-off Broadway.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "No, no, he mimed it. That's what was so funny about it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I think I can sum up the show for you with one word: Nothing.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Well, maybe in philosophy. But even nothing is something.", "c": ["Russell"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "D-A-L-R-l-M-P-E-L. Not even close.", "c": ["Stu", "Stu"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "You read? - Well, I don't know about the reading. We didn't discuss the reading.", "c": ["Russell", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Well, why am I watching it? - Because it's on TV. - Not yet.", "c": ["Russell", "George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I, for one, am not going to compromise my artistic integrity.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "How about this? I manage a circus.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "You're not artistic, and you have no integrity.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "A team of psychiatrists, working round the clock, thinking about you, having conferences. Observing you, like the way they did with the Elephant Man.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I thought the woman was kind of cute.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "We had good eye contact through the whole meeting.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Oh, hello. Oh, hello. - Hello.", "c": ["Kramer", "Susan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Why don't you give me your home number, and I'll call you later? - I'm sorry. We're not allowed to do that. - I guess you don't want people calling you at home. - No. - Well, now you know how I feel.", "c": ["Kramer", "Telemarketer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "September third. - The third? - The third?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Vomiting is not a deal-breaker. If Hitler had vomited on Chamberlain, he still would have given him Czechoslovakia.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "You could hold his head in the toilet, he'd still give you half of Europe.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "That's what I think of your party.", "c": ["Joe Davola"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "When you vomit on somebody, it is a social faux pas from which there is really no recovery.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "There's no vomit sympathy-card section of the store, you know.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "'Next time, lunch is on me.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "What is this? Why do I got one pant leg on for?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "You only shaved the right side of your face.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Yo-Yo Ma!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Can you get vomit out of suede?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "They wanna buy it! They wanna buy it! What did I tell you?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Ted Danson makes $800,000 an episode. - Would you stop with the Ted Danson?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Yeah, don't worry. He can afford it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I sleep in my underwear and a T-shirt. If it gets too hot, I just take the T-shirt off.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I know plenty of people in Hollywood too.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "There are many things that I think you can point to as proof that the humans are not smart. But my personal favorite would have to be that we had to invent the helmet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "The idea behind the helmet law is to preserve a brain whose judgment is so poor, it does not even try to stop the cracking of the head it's in.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Go. Go ahead. Go to your fancy fire. If that's what you have to do.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I never had an air conditioner.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I was never able to become a banker.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Story is the foundation of all entertainment. You must have a good story. Otherwise, it's just masturbation.", "c": ["NBC Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "This show will be like a heart attack. Just a huge, massive coronary.", "c": ["NBC Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I said... I said, 'Get out of here. No story? Is that what I said?'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Hey, Yo-Yo Ma.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "See! Told you! I told you!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "I can't believe she took the money.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Ted Danson makes $800,000 an episode. - Would you stop with the Ted Danson? - Well, he does. - You're nuts.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "You know, a muffin can be very filling.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "What do you mean, 'in my own words'? Whose words are they gonna be?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "'Sonny boy, take a good look at him. That's gonna be you someday.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "The punishment should be, instead of traffic school or traffic court, just traffic. They sentence you to 100 hours of traffic.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Five people drive all around you at five miles an hour wherever you go.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "The Pitch"}, {"t": "Kramer frantically searching for remote while only wearing one pant leg", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "You only shaved the right side of your face", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Ooh-huh-hey-ya!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "A dry-cleaning bill for vomiting on her vest", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Jerry's the one that left the milk in the refrigerator. Yeah, your milk. He drank it. I didn't know!", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Can you get vomit out of suede?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Yo-Yo Ma.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "What? Yo-Yo Ma? What about it? You just said 'Yo-Yo Ma.' What's Yo-Yo Ma? He's a cellist.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "A show about nothing", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Kramer speaking Italian on phone due to head injury", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "NBC wants to buy it! Oh, what'd I tell you? We're gonna be rich! What are we gonna get for this? Fifty, sixty thousand?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "You know how much Ted Danson makes? How are you comparing us to Ted Danson? I didn't say we're Ted Danson. You did, you said we're Ted Danson.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "You know, I think he wears a piece. Yeah? Don't worry, he can afford it.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "What is it you object to? The comfort? The speed? The convenience?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Funny thing is, I can't wear them. I get too hot. I sleep in my underwear and a t-shirt. If it gets too hot, I just take the t-shirt off.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "We got a big meeting with the president of NBC. Nobody got a gun to your head. Yeah. I'm really sorry. Go. Really, I understand. You got an appointment. Go to your appointment.", "c": ["Jerry", "Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "You wouldn't even be here today if it wasn't for me and my helmet. I saved your life. You would be dead. Dead. You would cease to exist. You'd be gone for the rest of eternity. Can you even begin to comprehend what that means?!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Jerry's helmet stand-up routine", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "The idea behind the helmet law is to preserve a brain whose judgment is so poor, it does not even try to stop the cracking of the head it's in!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "You could be a fireman on a fire truck on the way to a fire. You bump into one of my relatives, 'I'm sorry, Uncle Leo, there's a building full of people burning down. I really do have to be running.' He'll go, 'Go. Go ahead. Go to your fancy fire... if that's what you have to do.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Why didn't you shave this morning? Because I shaved yesterday in the afternoon. Why? Because of the day before. It's a long story. I can't get back on schedule.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Jerry's paranoid whisper 'Is that Joe Davola?' followed by Kramer's loud 'It's not him!'", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "I never had an air conditioner. No. That's no reason to kill yourself. Why? It gets hot at night. You can't sleep.", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "I was never able to become a banker. So you're killing yourself because your dreams of becoming a banker have gone unfulfilled. You can't live without being a banker. Must be a banker!", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Story is the foundation of all entertainment. You must have a good story, otherwise it's just masturbation.", "c": ["NBC Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "This show will be like a heart attack. Just a huge, massive coronary.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "George's backtracking on 'no story' concept with nervous laughter", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Business. We're in business. Let's have business. This is business.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "George's elaborate lie about lost files from moving company with vow of revenge", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "That's judgment. That's a pile of judgment there. Yeah. Judgment with earrings on, yes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Yo-Yo Ma!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Oh, it was only vomit.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "I can't believe she took the money. Why? I offered to pay. She should've said no. She did. You insisted.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Thirteen thousand? Apiece? No, for both. That's insulting! Ted Danson makes $800,000 an episode!", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Who's he? He's somebody. What about me? You're nobody. Why him? Why not me? He's good. You're not. I'm better than him. You're worse. Much, much worse.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Excuse me, officer. There's a guy outside, and he's kind of a nut job, and I think he's waiting to beat me up. If you could just walk me outside and wait till I get into a cab... Yeah, all right. Just let me get a muffin.", "c": ["Jerry", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "What happened to the muffin? I got a little hungry. All of a sudden you get hungry? Yeah. You got a problem with that? No. Enjoy your lunch.", "c": ["Jerry", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "You know, a muffin can be very filling.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "What do you mean, 'in your own words'? Whose words are they gonna be?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Well, my father, when I was a kid, he took me to the bank. And he lifted me up. And he pointed to the teller and he said, 'Sonny boy, take a good look at him. That's gonna be you someday.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "You were gonna ack-ka-ka-ka! You were dai-ya deh, wha-hey! To yourself! Remember, the banking?! The banking! Wha...! Ha! Hoo! Forget the banking?!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "So, what do you make for something like that, 50, 60,000? What's the difference? The money's not important.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Hey, you're not gonna get away with this. I'll fight this! I've got witnesses. I saw the whole thing.", "c": ["Newman", "Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "Jerry's traffic school stand-up routine about punishment being just traffic", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Ticket"}, {"t": "That's because you're looking at it from an angle. If you were over here... It looks from where you're sitting... it looks like I'm doing 90 on empty. But that's because you're over there. If you were over here, you'd know I'm in the driveway with a full tank.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "What writer? It's a sitcom.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "How could you eat fish on a plane? / Because she puts up a stink every time I have a piece of meat.", "c": ["Helen", "Morty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Believe me, they're all crooks.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Is Ted Danson's deal standard? / Ted Danson? / You know, the guy from Cheers. / Yeah, I know who he is. / You're not Ted Danson. / I didn't say I was Ted Danson.", "c": ["George", "Susan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. I'm a writer. I forgot.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "That's it for this piece of junk. I've had it.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Over my dead body, Jerry. I'm telling you right now... you're not gonna do it.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Oh, some guy kicked me in the side of the head. / What guy? / Crazy Joe Davola. / Why? / Well, I was having this party... and I didn't invite him, and then Jerry tipped him off.", "c": ["Kramer", "Helen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "They're good around the house, and they're good for outside.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "But the doctor says it's just a slight concussion.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "I know, it seems impossible.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Maybe some people don't like him. I can see that.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Where did I take it? / Yeah. / Where did I take it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Look, there's no watch. I threw it in the garbage can on the street. My parents gave it to me, but I didn't like it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "He's got a thing on his ankle.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "How could anyone not like him?", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Look at this. It's a book.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "You stick up for that sofa like I'm criticizing a person.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "That's it. Here, you got my name, you got my address. That's enough.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "You are so, so naive. You know about a few things. You know about comedy... a little bit about relationships, some baseball... but you're so far out of your element here, you're embarrassing yourself.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "We got a show about nothing. With no story.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Are you repeating everything? / Are you repeating everything? / Well, George is an idiot. / Well, George...", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Look, if I did that in my business, I wouldn't have made a nickel.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "I can't stand Velcro. That tearing sound. I used to be in raincoats. I refused to put that in any of my lines.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Federal Express? Of course. That's the oldest trick in the book. It might not be a burglar. It could be a murderer.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "So you wanna just abolish all home-package delivery? / Yes, it's dangerous.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Oh, God. I thought you were in California. / Well, I came back for you. / Oh, shut up.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Me too, miss. I miss. Yeah, big missing going on around here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "It's a tell. You got a tell. / What tell? What's a tell? / When you ask about their relationship and they touch their face... you know it's not going too well.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "The higher up on the face you go, the worse the relationship is getting. You know, it's like: Pretty good. Not bad. I gotta get out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "You almost did the nose.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Are you eating my peanut butter out of the jar with your disgusting fingers?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "What, I'm not eating bread now. I'm off bread.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "He has this power over me, okay? He has this way of manipulating every little word that I say. He's like a Svenjolly.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Svenjolly? I did not say, Svenjolly. / George? / Svenjolly.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "He stole my wallet. The bum stole my wallet. My wallet's gone! My wallet's gone!", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "I had $225 in there. / I don't see how that happened. / Oh, you don't see. You don't see. Well, it happened. Believe me.", "c": ["Morty", "Dr. Dembrow"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "I wanna know what kind of office this is where you can't leave your pants.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "His name is... Kramer.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "I'll be lying on an x-ray table with my wallet in my mouth.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "I found it in the garbage can. It kept terrible time. I brought it over to Jimmy Sherman right here on 85th and Columbus. Gave it to me back the next day, works great. What kind of an idiot throws away a perfectly good watch?", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "Don't you hate 'to be continueds' on TV?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "There's no way they wrap this up in five minutes. I mean, the whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "If I wanted a long boring story with no point to it, I have my life.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "A comedian can't do that, see? I can't go, 'A man walks into a bar with a pig. Can you come back next week?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "The Wallet"}, {"t": "He's like a Svenjolly.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Any stupid, goofy, brass, wood thing. They put a piece of green felt on the bottom. 'It's a golf, desk, tie and stress organizer, Dad.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Well, to me, nothing compares with the paperweight as a bad gift. There's no better way than a paperweight to express to someone... ...that, 'I refuse to put any thought into this at all.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Where are these people working that papers are blowing right off of desks?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Are the desks screwed to the back of a flatbed truck going down the highway?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Are they typing in the crow's-nest of a clipper ship?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Oh, you know these jewelers. They're enigmas. They're mysteries wrapped in a riddle.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "She's very attractive. - She's okay. - Just okay? - She's nice. - She's better than nice. - She's all right. - She's beautiful. - She's not beautiful.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "I should drop dead if she's not beautiful.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "You could call me 'baldy,' dump soup on my head. Nothing insults me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Can you do that? - Yeah, I'm your boyfriend. Yeah. - Okay. - Have we been intimate?", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "All right. All right. We do it... ...five times a week, okay? - Oh, baby.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "It kills the spontaneity. You know, Gleason, he never rehearsed.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "You're not the type who should be playing with matches, seriously.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "...and allow us to pursue our courtship unfettered.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Try our mousse. It'll change your life expectancy.", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "You're a comedian. Couldn't you come up with something?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "I'd be curious to know how you pick up a check with no money. Because if this works, the whole monetary system's obsolete. We're back to wampum.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "There is a George Bonanza to see you. - Costanza. Costanza. - George Costanza.", "c": ["Receptionist", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Look at this building. What is this? I don't know. It's a building. - The doors are on a diagonal. - So what? It's architecturally incorrect.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Look, stairs in an apartment. All my life I dreamed about... ...having steps in an apartment. Even one step. Sunken living room. Although one step is not all that sunken.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "He's got Marlon Brando's. I could go to Marlon Brando's house if I wanted. Of course, I wouldn't. The guy is... Obviously, the guy has his problems.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "What time is it? 8:30. I'll tell you what's on. You got... ...Major Dad, Blossom... Very funny program. - Blossom's on Monday. - Are you sure? Look who I'm talking to. The president of NBC.", "c": ["George", "Russell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "All right, look. We're people, you and me. Businessmen, colleagues, if I may. Let's not quibble. We'll do it for the $13,000.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Ten thousand dollars. I'm going below what you wanted to pay.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "All right. Good, $8000. Cynthia, again, nice meeting you. Have I commented on the shoes? I love suede. It's so thick and rich. Do you ever rub it against the grain?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "All right, 200. That's as high as I can go. I think you're being unreasonable.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Well, that's a little strange. - Why does that surprise you? - Well, it's a very popular drink. - This is an office. - That's true.", "c": ["Kramer", "Dr. Reston"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "My face is on... ...Mount Rushmore. - Yes, of course. That's it. I guess I'm just used to seeing it on a much larger scale. Oh, yeah, right. I replaced Teddy Roosevelt. Oh, really? Trustbuster. Bust this.", "c": ["Kramer", "Dr. Reston"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Actually I'm a little disappointed. I kind of had my eye on Uncle Leo.", "c": ["Gail"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "You know why fish are so thin? - Why? They eat fish.", "c": ["Gail", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "I'm in love. I just met her outside in the street. Her name's Elaine. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "How come with the psychiatrist, every 'the hour' is only 50 minutes? What do they do with that 10 minutes that they have left? Do they just sit there going, 'Boy, that guy was crazy. I couldn't believe the things he was saying. What a nut. Who's coming in next? Oh, no, another headcase.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "George turned it down. - He turned it down? - Why did he do that? - Because of Ted Danson. - What does he have to do with it? - Maybe he doesn't like Ted Danson.", "c": ["Jerry", "Morty", "Helen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Let me see if I understand this. In other words, you held out for less money.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "The basic idea of negotiation... ...as I understand it is to get your price to go up.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "This is how they negotiate... ...in the Bizarro World.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "He took it. I put $400 in the wallet. He lost all that cash. It was the only way I could give it back. Otherwise, he wouldn't accept it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "The main difference between women's and men's wallets is the photo section. True? Women carry with them a photo of every person they've ever met... ...every day in their whole life since the beginning of time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Here's my cousin, 3 years old. She's in the Marines now. This is my dog. He died during the Johnson administration.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "You get stopped by a cop. No license, no registration. 'Here's 56 people that know me.' Cop goes, 'Just wanted to make sure you had some friends. Move it along. Routine pal check.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The Watch"}, {"t": "Ever called someone and were disappointed when they answered? You wanted the machine.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "the phone machine is like this relationship respirator keeping these marginal, brain-dead relationships alive", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "It's very important for human beings to feel popular and well-liked amongst a large group of people we don't care for", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "I ate the whole plate. I didn't know. I thought they were peanuts.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "No, no. I'm not happy, I'm not lucky, and I don't go. If anything, I'm sad-stop-unlucky.", "c": ["Naomi"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "That's not funny, Naomi. I didn't mean to be funny there.", "c": ["Naomi"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "What'd you say, it's like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Well, first of all, Elmer Fudd is one of the most beloved internationally known cartoon characters of all time.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "It makes juice, it extracts the pulp and... And then the vitamins. For long life and vitality.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "It's like Coco Chanel going out with a fishmonger.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "You know, she's with all the perfumes, and a fishmonger's a pretty bad smell.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "He vomited all over her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Top of the morning to you. What do you say? What do you be?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Gee, that's... That's too bad. Yeah. Too bad.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "No, no, no. No, no, that's pie country. Yeah. They do a lot of baking up there.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "They sell them by the road. Blueberry, blackberry. Blackberry, boysenberry. Boysenberry, huckleberry. Raspberry, strawberry. Strawberry, cranberry. Peach.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "You mean 'pressed' because it's a dry cleaner?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Well... Same bed, and underwear and a T-shirt.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Well, you'd be naked, of course.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "A bubble? A bubble? Yes, a bubble.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Mel"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "bubble boy", "c": ["Mel"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Oh, I thought it was like an igloo.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Who has the remote? He does. The remote goes through the bubble? Yeah. He's in the bubble with the remote. So you have no control over the remote? No. It's frustrating.", "c": ["Jerry", "Mel"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "He's a bubble boy! A bubble boy? Yes, a bubble boy. What's a bubble boy? He lives in a bubble. Boy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "What kind of a bubble, like an igloo?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "You can just follow us. Oh, great. Okay, we're going away. I think I'm excited. I'm excited.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "I don't know if he likes her as much as he likes it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "He once went from West 81st St. to Kennedy airport in 25 minutes. I never heard the end of it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "I once made it to Kennedy airport from West 81st St. in 15 minutes.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Because he's my directions.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "You know, Jerry's left, but listen, you see, my golf game got canceled. I'm thinking of going up myself. They got pies, and I got the directions right here.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "My grandmother died two months early from how I reacted in the hospital. She was getting better. Then I paid her a visit. She saw my face, boom. That was the end of her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "This isn't a park bench where you come in and sit down. It's a business.", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Gary Seinfield.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Hey, Ma! What the hell do I gotta do to get some food around here? I'm starving. And if it's peanut butter, I'm gonna shove it in your face!", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Nothing's finer than being in your diner.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "That is so lame, Jerry. People will be reading that for the next 20 years and laughing at you.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Never seen a kid in a bubble before? Of course I have. Come on. My cousin's in a bubble.", "c": ["Donald", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "My friend Jeffrey's sister also, bubble, you know... I got a lot of bubble experience. Come on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "How about taking your top off?", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "I'm gonna kick your ass.", "c": ["Donald"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "This chicken is really good.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "That's a joke. The Moors. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. It's the 'Moops.' The correct answer is the Moops.", "c": ["Donald", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "It doesn't matter. It's Moors. There's no Moops. It's Moops. Moors.", "c": ["Donald", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Some little bald guy from the city.", "c": ["Local"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "No, it's good for you. Retards the aging process.", "c": ["Naomi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Bubble boy tried to kill me. What? Susan, tell them. It's a long story.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Susan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "He's a lying snot. He's a cheater, aren't you, little twerp? Moors! Moops!", "c": ["Donald", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "There's the guy who tried to kill the bubble boy. Get him!", "c": ["Local"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "I just realized, you never gave me back the change from the tolls.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "My Cubans.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "Something very scary and exciting about fire. People always run to see a fire.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "I got fire right here in my hand. Smoke and fire is literally coming right out of my mouth.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "My head could open up. Lava could explode out. Pour right down my face. Doesn't bother me a bit.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "You think this end is bad. Look at this wet, disgusting nub, huh? How scary is that?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "The Bubble Boy"}, {"t": "I think people think of their office as a stationery store with Danish. You know what I mean? You wanna get your pastry... your envelopes, your supplies... your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Why do people that work in offices have pictures of their family on their desk facing them? Do they forget that they're married? Do they go, '5:00. Time to hit the bars and pick up hookers. Hold it a second. I got a wife and three kids. I better get home. I completely forgot.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "You'll make quite an impression when you tell him how you burned his cabin down.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "The guy's nice enough to give you a box of very fine Cuban cigars... Then you dump them off onto Kramer. Who proceeds to burn the man's cabin down with one of those very same cigars. It's very comical.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "What's the worst he can do? So you burn a house down. Come on. Not even a house. It's like a cabin. We could build a cabin like that. Well, maybe not us, but two men could.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "BICs? What, did you get BICs? What, you got a problem with the pen, now? I like a Rolling Writer. They're smooth.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Let me explain to you one of the key elements involved in the writing process. Because it may seem outwardly that the pen and the paper and the chair play a large role. But they're all somewhat incidental to the actual using of the brain.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Oh, hi, Sandra. Listen, I'm at a pay phone. There's a lot of people waiting to use it. I'll be off in a minute! Yeah, could you put me through to Elaine?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Hey, I got a rubber-pencil thing happening here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "I'm in my apartment. You come in. - It's beautiful. And what do I say?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Listen, Jerry's under a lot of pressure right now. It's very hard being a stand-up comedian. Sometimes they don't laugh.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Hey, George, maybe you can ask Susan's father for some more.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "What are you, crazy? I can't ask the guy for more cigars after you burned down his cabin. - What's one thing got to do with another?", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "The grass has big brown patches in it. They don't rake the sand traps. Not to mention the calibre of people you have to play with.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "I think we got a bite on it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Doesn't George look like your sister Sara? - A slight resemblance.", "c": ["Susan's mother", "Susan's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Oh, I have tremendous respect for people who work with feet. I mean, to dedicate yourself to the foot... You're toiling in virtual anonymity.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "I'm sucking them down. I'm puffing my brains out, yeah.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "I did not know that. Weird. Wild.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "He's doing Johnny Carson, Daddy. - I didn't care much for his jokes.", "c": ["Susan", "Susan's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Daddy never laughs. - Oh, well, so what? Laughter. What is that? I mean, what is the point of opening your mouth and going: 'Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!' What is that?", "c": ["Susan", "Susan's father"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Wear some more lipstick.", "c": ["Susan's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "She thought, I think, 'Yeah, it's a real treat talking to her on the phone.' But I was really being sincere.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "My father built that cabin in 1947. My mother was recuperating from impetigo at the time... She died there the following winter.", "c": ["Susan's father"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "His last words to me were: 'Cherish the cabin.' Not, 'Take care of your sister.' She's a paraplegic. But, 'Cherish the cabin.'", "c": ["Susan's father"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Kind of like Superman's Fortress of Solitude. - What? - Superman. He built a Fortress of Solitude up at the North Pole... to, you know, sort of get away from it all.", "c": ["Susan's father", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Well, I'll take a hotel any day.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "George? - Burned. - Burned? - There was a fire, and it- Burned. - The cabin burned? - Yeah, burned. Burned?", "c": ["Susan", "George", "Susan's father"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "But, you know, Mr. Ross, if you look at the whole situation... what with it being your cigars and everything... it's really rather ironic. One might even say, in a sense, comical. Really. Think about it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "I was just trying to keep up. - That was a weird thing to say. - Why? It didn't mean anything. I was trying to join in so you wouldn't feel embarrassed.", "c": ["Jerry", "Sandra"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Yet women have no problem getting the hand off. How do they do that? - I don't know. They're working on a whole other level.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "No, I don't know. How do I know the usual? - Typical things. - What's typical? Give me typical.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "That's very dirty. That's absolutely filthy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "I'm gonna need some water here.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "You mean, the panties your mother laid out for you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "'The panties your mother laid out for you'? What does that mean? - I don't know. It just popped out.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "It's abnormal, but it's not offensive.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Yeah. He went into the bedroom and started sobbing.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "What do you got? - I got, you enter, you go, 'Hi.' And I go, 'Hello.'", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "How about this: I say, 'How's it going?' - 'How's it going?' Beautiful.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Well, it's a very private matter, but extremely urgent. - Are you an American? - Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Kramer", "Cuban diplomat"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "You realize, of course, these are illegal in your country. - Well, illegal, huh? I like that jacket.", "c": ["Cuban diplomat", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "You come in the house, you wipe your wheels.", "c": ["Susan's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "From John Cheever! 'Dear Henry... last night with you was bliss. I fear my... orgasm has left me a cripple. I don't know how I shall ever get back to work. I love you madly, John. P.S. Loved the cabin.'", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Yes. Yes, he was the most wonderful person I've ever known. And I loved him deeply. In a way you could never understand.", "c": ["Susan's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Well, we really should be heading out. Jerry hates to miss the coming attractions. - Yeah, and because of the time. - Yeah. Time is what he's indicating there.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Hey, look, I'm gonna pay for that. - No, no. - No, I insist. I was the one that encouraged you to fire her. - Okay.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll visit my mother. She just bought me some new panties, and they're all laid out for me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "There's this whole talking-during-sex business. I mean, what are we doing here? The question is... does the talking really improve the sex? Or is the sex act now just there to spice up the conversation?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Eventually, I'm sure people will get too lazy even for phone sex. They'll start having phone machine sex. 'Yeah, I want you really bad. Just leave it on the tape.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Then, I guess, the phone company will come out with sex-waiting. That'll be the new thing. 'Yeah, hold on, honey. I got another call. Oh, hi, baby. One second. Honey, I've gotta take this. Yeah, I've got sex-waiting on the other line and I've got to take this.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Cheever Letters"}, {"t": "Things are great. I met a terrific girl, I got a great job... and if everything goes according to plan... I'm gonna be moving back in with my parents soon.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "It's like getting busted on a parole violation... and thrown back into the slammer. 'In the opinion of the board, you need further rehabilitation, I'm afraid.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "You can hold your parents between your fingers. 'Why was I so afraid of you people when I was growing up?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "My father wears his sneakers in the pool. Sneakers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "My mother has never set foot in a natural body of water.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "My mother has never laughed. Ever. Not a giggle, not a chuckle, not a tee-hee. Never went, 'Ha.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "- A smirk? - Maybe.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "He doesn't let you use the toilet.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "- Hey, I got a terrific joke for you. - I'm not interested.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "No, no. It's really funny. There's these two guy... - Tell it to the audience.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Bologna? Nobody eats bologna anymore.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "I think you're all a little touched in the head.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "I don't feel comfortable handing out bologna sandwiches in the building.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "She's one of these low-talkers. You can't hear a word. You're always going, 'Excuse me? What was that?'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "- What's that? - Excuse me?", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "- Yeah? Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "It's, like, a puffy shirt. Well, yeah, it's all puffy. Like the pirates used to wear.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "See, I think people wanna look like pirates. It's the right time for it. To be all puffy and devil-may-care, you know.", "c": ["Leslie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Maybe you should take a civil-service test. - I'm not taking a civil-service test.", "c": ["Frank", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Would you believe when I was 18 I had a silver-dollar collection?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "You want me to be a mailman?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "You know, I couldn't bring myself to spend one of these. I got some kind of a... phobia.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "I do know that I have some kind of a talent, something to offer. I just don't know what it is yet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "I bet that collection would be worth a lot of money today.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "It's just that I'm here with my parents... and my mother wants me to take a civil-service test... and to tell you the truth, I don't even think I'd pass it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "They're quite exquisite. Extraordinary. Have you ever done any hand modeling?", "c": ["Hand Model Scout"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "The knuckles are all out of proportion. You got hair there. Where do you get off comparing your hands to mine?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "This is a one-in-a-million hand. That's what comes from avoiding manual labor your whole life.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "You could've damaged my hands! - What? It's just a toy.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "You can look at them, but do not touch them.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "They're smooth. Creamy. Delicate yet masculine.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Oven mitts?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "It's all I could find.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "You said that you would agree to wear the puffy shirt on the Today show.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "I was just nodding. - There you go. - Where I go?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "I can't wear this puffy shirt on TV. I mean, look at it. It looks ridiculous.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "This pirate trend she's come up with, Jerry... This is gonna be the new look for the '90s. You're gonna be the first pirate.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "But I don't wanna be a pirate.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "I knew it. I knew it. I always knew you had beautiful hands. I used to tell people... Frank, didn't I use to talk about his hands?", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Who the hell did you ever mention his hands to?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "I always talk about your hands, how they're so soft and milky white. - No, you never said milky white. - I said milky white!", "c": ["Estelle", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Don't hand them to me with the point facing out! - I'm sorry. - You're sorry?", "c": ["George", "Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Stress is very damaging to the epidermis. I have an important photo session in the morning. My hands have got to be in tiptop shape.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Now, that's a great-looking shirt. - Aye, captain. Yeah.", "c": ["Makeup Artist", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Why are you wearing this now? - Why am I wearing it now? I'll tell you why I'm wearing it now. Because the low-talker asked me to, that's why.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "You can't come out dressed like that. You're all puffed up. You look like the Count of Monte Cristo.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "You look like you're gonna swing in on a chandelier.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "I've never seen hands like these before. They're so soft and milky white.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "He was not master of his domain.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Towards the end, his hands became so frozen... he was unable to manipulate utensils... and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "You don't have to worry about me. I won a contest.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Speaking of clothing, that is a very, very unusual shirt you have on. - Yeah. - You're all kind of... Kind of puffed up.", "c": ["Bryant Gumbel", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Like a pirate. - Like a pirate.", "c": ["Bryant Gumbel", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Look, I'm sorry, it is just a very unusual shirt. - It could be a whole new look for you. You could put a patch over an eye. You could be the pirate comedian.", "c": ["Bryant Gumbel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "I think it's the stupidest shirt I've ever seen, to be perfectly honest with you. - You bastard!", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "- Did you hear that? - That I heard.", "c": ["Bryant Gumbel", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Nice shirt.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "- You ready? - Yeah. - Hot, hot.", "c": ["George", "Estelle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "McKigney had a few good years.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "'Twenty degrees off the starboard side. It's a Spanish galleon.' There's no comeback for that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Puffy shirt. Puffy shirt.", "c": ["Homeless Man"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Can you spare a little change for an old buccaneer?", "c": ["Homeless Man"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "You know, it's really not a bad-looking shirt.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Why do we always have to say, 'Excuse me'... when we can't hear what someone's saying? Why are we so guilty and so...? 'Excuse me. Pardon me. I'm sorry.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Just once I would like to have the guts... you know, to make that judgment. Someone mumbles something, and you go, 'Your fault. I'm not sorry, because it's your fault.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "The Opera"}, {"t": "Get out of Relationship Free cards... unless the person has an 'Eight More Months of Guilt, Torture and Pain' card", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "I think you can take the lift ticket off your jacket now... About six years ago", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Women like skiers. So what? You can't meet anybody. You're with Susan.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Closet business? What's the closet business? What is it your business?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "What do I need more closet space for?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "George. Jerry, Marla. Stacy. Stacy. George, Stacy. Jerry. Stacy. George. George. Jerry, Marla. Stacy.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Marla", "Stacy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "I was watching it on CNN and they covered it so well, I thought, why knock my brains out?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "I don't know. He never came back.", "c": ["Marla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Some people write symphonies. This is my gift.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Is there any Tampax in your house? Yeah. You got a girlfriend.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Once you can get girlfriends, you just want more girlfriends.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "You're gonna make a very good father someday.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "He works at NBC. I work at NBC... They fall madly in love and she dumps me for David Letterman.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "I don't think you are.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "We'll put everything on hooks... You're quite mad, you know.", "c": ["Marla", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "It was destroying my brain cells... but now you're in here all the time", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "There's weather. I don't need weather. Weather doesn't do it for me.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Oh, you must have been devastated being left for a wall.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Well, because I'm a... virgin.", "c": ["Marla"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Now it cost me $35 to see Havana.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "And my diaphragm goes flying out... So I just froze... it's just lying there", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "You never know when you're gonna need it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Well, it's not like spotting a toupee.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "You know, sometimes those guys don't make it back.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "It's a big, flat noodle. Well, I don't want a big, flat noodle.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Who says I want a noodle?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "They all turn into farmers suddenly.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "So the judge decrees that he becomes my butler.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Sentenced to be a butler.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "All you saved was the pea pods?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "You jaywalk. I can slap a suit on you.", "c": ["Ping"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "One bad impression, you're out of the business!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "She was laughing and then they shot her! They shoot you for laughing!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Yes, I was very wise to hitch my wagon to his star.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "And you bump into somebody you know.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Those collars are funny. You see somebody in one of those, you start laughing immediately.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Next time I should probably break the Prozacs in half.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Who is Joseph Cotten? Giddyup.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "You are a stupid, stupid man.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Finally, my stupidity pays off!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "She comes from a broken home. A tree fell on the roof and cracked the structure.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "Since she met him, she's been vomited on, her cabin burned down, learned her father's a homosexual and got fired. Yeah, they had a real good thing going.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "How can you write that crap?", "c": ["Woman at bar"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "There's a first date you'll never forget... 'Not well, Chuck. Not well.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "The Virgin"}, {"t": "You don't wanna visualize your parents having sex. It's somehow very uncomfortable. You know they had to have sex at least once to have you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "But you still kind of maintain the image in your head: 'Well, I don't know. I'm not positive. I can't prove it. I don't know if that actually happened.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "That's why if I found I was adopted, that would come as great news. 'I'm adopted? That's great.' I'd be happy to hear that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Sex is great, but you don't wanna think your whole life began because somebody had a little too much wine with dinner.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Let me ask you a question. You're a hostage captured by terrorists... Do you think they would consider doing laundry? They have to. It's in the Geneva Convention.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "My mother caught me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Glamour?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "First she screams, 'George, what are you doing? My God!'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "I didn't know whether to keep her from falling or zip up.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "What did you do? - I zipped up. - So she fell? - Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "She's in traction.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "All she said on the way over in the car was, 'Why, George, why?' I said, 'Because it's there.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "I am never doing that again. - What? You mean in your mother's house or altogether? - Altogether.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "You don't think I can? - No chance. - You think you could? - I could hold out longer than you.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Care to make it interesting?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "You? You'll be out before we get the check.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "It's apples and oranges. - Why? - Because you're a woman. - So what? It's easier for a woman not to do it than a man. We have to do it. It's part of our lifestyle. It's like shaving.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "That is such baloney. I shave my legs. - Not every day.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Obviously, we all know each other very well. I'm sure we'll all feel comfortable within the confines of the honour system.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "You know, if everyone who did that had to go see a psychiatrist... - Yeah...? - Whatever.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Any progress there? What's the latest? - I got my troops amassed along the border. I'm waiting for someone to give me the go-ahead.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Look at this. Come here. There's a naked woman across the street.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Let me ask you, in these nudist colonies, do they eat naked in the dining room? - I would imagine it's all naked. - Are the chambermaids naked too? - They're naked. The gardener's naked. Bellhops. It's one big nude-o-rama.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "This is gonna be the easiest money I've ever made in my life.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Then, I got a call this morning. I was chosen to go on the space shuttle. We're going to Mars. - Have a good time.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "I'm out.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Well, it was that woman across the street. You know, you better be careful, buddy. She'll get you next.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "And then there were three.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "I go out for a quart of milk. I come home and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park.", "c": ["George's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Don't give me 'Ma.' It's good I didn't hit the table. I could have cracked my head open.", "c": ["George's mother"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Too bad you can't do that for a living. You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you. You could be a big star.", "c": ["George's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "So, George... what are you doing now? I hear you got some kind of television writing thing. - Yeah. Television. - Let me help you off with that. Here, just slip it over your head.", "c": ["Cousin", "George", "Nurse"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "George, your cousin Shelly is talking to you!", "c": ["George's mother"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "He has got a great butt. - Yeah. Butt, butt. Great butt. John-John's butt.", "c": ["Joyce", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "You think I care about the sex? What kind of person do you think I am? That doesn't mean anything to me. I don't care about that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Not just a good night. A great night.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Nothing like some good, solid sack-time. - She's not there. - She's doing her wash.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "So you're still master of your domain. - Yes. Yes, I am. Master of my domain.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Do you hear what you're saying? Can you hear it? This is a beautiful woman walking around naked and you wanna tell her to stop? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "When we were boys looking through our windows we'd think, 'Why can't a woman out there take her clothes off?' Now that wish has come true, and you wanna throw it away?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "For my sake. God knows, I don't ask you for much. Please, Jerry. I'm begging you. Please! Come on! Please!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "She's not there. - Oh, I can wait.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "The nurse was giving her a sponge bath? - Every night at 6:30. The nurse was gorgeous. Then I got a look at the patient. I was going nuts.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "But are you still master of your domain? - I am king of the county. - You? - Lord of the manor.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "John F. Kennedy Jr. - What? - He was in my aerobics class.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "He was working out in front of me. After the class was over, I timed my walk to the door so we'd get there at the exact same moment.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "And he says to me, 'Quite a workout.' - 'Quite a workout'? - What did you say? - I said, 'Yeah.' - Good one.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "But this is John F. Kennedy Jr. we're talking about. So he says, 'Where do you live?' I was close to your block, so I said your building.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Oh, God. The question is... are you still master of your domain? - I'm queen of the castle.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "You got it, Ma. - A little later. - Could you go now, Georgie? I'm very hungry. I'm weak. - Wait a while. What's the difference?", "c": ["George", "Mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "But if you wait, they won't let you back in! Visiting hours are almost over! - Ten minutes. Here. Have some Tic Tacs.", "c": ["Mother", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Get the hell out of here. I'm sorry you came. - 6:30. Time for your bath.", "c": ["Mother", "Nurse"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Hang on, Ma. Hang on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "He wanted to know your situation. - I have a situation? - I said you were single. - That was good. That was very good. - He said you were his type.", "c": ["Joyce", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Okay. You're trying to hurt me? You're trying to injure me?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Nothing. I'm watching Tiny Toons here on Nickelodeon. I like kids' shows. They have a very innocent, wholesome quality.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Yes, yes, yes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "The woman across the block has nothing on, nothing on, nothing on... All through the day", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "All you got is instant coffee? Why don't you get some real coffee? - I don't keep real coffee here. I get my coffee on the outside.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Yeah, you fell asleep on the sofa, and I took them off your stinking feet! They looked so good, I had to have them!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "This is ridiculous. - You believe this? We're fighting. I haven't been myself. I'm snapping at people. I'm yelling at strangers on the street.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "You caved? - It's over? - You're out? - Oh, my God. The queen is dead.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "What happened? - It was... John-John. - John-John. - John-John.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "All right, Costanza... it's you and me. And then, there were two.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Contest? A contest? This is what you do with your friends? It was just a bet. It actually started with George and his mother.", "c": ["Marla", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "I don't wanna hear another word! To think how close I came to you being the one! I must have been out of my mind.", "c": ["Marla"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "I don't wanna have anything to do with you or your perverted friends. Get away from me. You're horrible, horrible. All of you.", "c": ["Marla"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "What? He's out there? - Oh, my God. I gotta go. - No, no, he just left. - What? - He was talking to Marla. - Marla? She was, like, crying. He was consoling her. She got into his car, and they just drove away.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "He left with Marla, the virgin? - Yeah. - They drove away? - Yeah, drove away. - You know, I said hello to him. He's- - Oh, my God in heaven.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Is that...? Kramer? - He's waving.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Oh, John... that was wonderful.", "c": ["Marla"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Men wanna see women naked. Whatever it is you won't show us, that's what we're obsessed with seeing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "If women always wore hats in public, all the time, you'd see men buying Playhead magazine, you know, Skulls of the Big 10.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "What about cultures, in National Geographic, where everybody is naked? What are men in these cultures trying to look at when the women walk by?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Woman takes off the necklace and the nose ring, that's it, show's over. The men are going, 'Boy, did you see that little indentation in her lip? I told you, man, this place is hot.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "The Contest"}, {"t": "Everything on planes is tiny. Tiny food, tiny liquor bottles, tiny pillows...tiny bathroom, tiny sink, tiny soap. Everyone's in a cramped seat working on a tiny computer.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "There'll be a man in a tight suit. He'll tell you you have little time...to make your connecting flight. So move it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Hey, could you do me a favor? Could you shut up?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Fine, I'll take it off. Grab the wheel.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "My hand is stuck...My hand! My hand!...Don't... Jer... All right, fine.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "And it smells like a cheap hooker. Or is that you? Give me 10 bucks and find out.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "He didn't come within 2 feet of it. He's waving at it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "People like you? Not much. You don't know what you're doing.", "c": ["Baggage Handler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Usually, I get $5 a bag...That's right...Five dollars a bag? I don't think so.", "c": ["Baggage Handler", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Never be late for a plane with a girl. Because a girl runs like a girl, with the little steps and the arms flailing out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "You wanna make this plane, you gotta run like a man. Get your knees up!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Well...I'll take the first class.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Elaine, have you ever flown first class? No. All right, then. You won't know what you're missing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "I've flown first class, Elaine. I can't go back to coach. I can't. I won't.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "The plane crashes, everybody in first class is gonna die anyway. Yeah, I'm sure you'll live.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Bon voyage, Lainey.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "I never check my bags. Can't stand that waiting in the baggage area. Great.", "c": ["Fellow Passenger", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Help me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "I confused it with another awning.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "I cannot express to you the feeling I get from a perfect pickup.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "This is a suicide mission! I had it perfectly timed out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Duty-free is the biggest sucker deal in retail. You know how much duty is? Duty's nothing. It's like sales tax.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "I like to stop At the duty-free shop", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "So he says, 'Squeeze your breasts together.' And I say, 'I thought this was an ad for shoes.'", "c": ["Model in First Class"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Good thing they gave you that washcloth to cover yourself up. What is this an ad for? See those wrinkled jeans slung over the chair? Way in the background, out of focus?", "c": ["Jerry", "Model"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "He's sleeping, and I have to go to the bathroom. Maybe he'll wake up soon. What if my kidneys burst? Is it worth it not to wake this man up to damage a major organ?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "I hope this disgusting slob appreciates what I'm doing for him.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Look at you. You run like a girl. Come on. Run like a man. Lift your knees.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Do I still get credit for the pickup? I was here.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Gee, I'm sorry. I got here first. I don't care. I want the magazine.", "c": ["Kramer", "Convict"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "You know what I would do to you if I wasn't in these shackles? But you are, Blanche. You are in the shackles.", "c": ["Convict", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't wait to read my TIME magazine. Last copy too. Maybe I'll read it tomorrow, in the park. Supposed to be a beautiful day. Have a nice life...sentence, that is.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Wake up, you human slug. Wake up! Wake up! I can't hold it anymore.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Why, it's a perfect fit. You must be Cinderella.", "c": ["Flight Attendant"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "He took the cash and...disappears. I tried to find him. I went to his girlfriend's house, even his family. Never got that money back. He screwed me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Kramer, you cannot abandon people in an airport pickup. It's a binding social contract. We must go forward. Not back.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "It's like an English garden in there. They're gardenias, mostly. I thought I smelled lilac. Yes, there are a few of those too. It's almost overwhelming.", "c": ["Jerry", "First Class Passenger", "Tia"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Let's go. Listen to the bell, Grossbard. It tolls for thee.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Oh, saffron. That sounds good. And today we're featuring wines from the Tuscany region. Tuscany. Tuscany.", "c": ["Flight Attendant", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "You're not supposed to get up during the food service. Well, nobody told me that. Look. This plane is full. I got a lot of people to serve. Now, please. You're just gonna have to wait.", "c": ["Flight Attendant", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Use this one. I get frequent flyer miles with every purchase. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Get two tickets. You're returning it anyway, what's the difference? I'll get double the bonus miles.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure. I would know if a tray of food had been served to me. Would you?", "c": ["Flight Attendant", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "No, no, it all has to do with the way they kill the pig. Come on, but they don't eat pigs. They do if it's killed right. Under a rabbi's supervision.", "c": ["Male Passenger"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "This is the best sundae I've ever had. Oh, man. You know what? They got the fudge on the bottom. You see? That enables you to control your fudge distribution...as you're eating your ice cream.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "I never met a man who knew so much about nothing. Thank you.", "c": ["Model", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Supersavers? Are they refundable? You bought nonrefundable tickets. You idiot.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Do you recognize me? No. Come on. Twenty years ago. What? Eighteenth Street? I don't know what you're talking about. Give me your money. Where's your wallet? The $240.", "c": ["Kramer", "Grossbard"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "No. Please don't send me back there. I'll do anything. It's so nice up here. It's so comfortable up here. I don't wanna go back there. Please, don't send me back there.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "You know, our goal should be a society without classes.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "Do you realize the people up here are getting cookies?!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "The problem is that curtain is no security. There really should be a locking door.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "That's why they call it 'standby.' You end up standing there going, 'Bye. I didn't... Yeah.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "'Would you bring your seatback all the way up?' 'Who the hell are you?' She says, 'I'm the flight attendant.' 'Yeah, well, then I'm the pilot, all right? So why don't you sit down? I'm about to bring her in.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "The Airport"}, {"t": "So I went to a fashion show. First of all, the whole concept of modeling is counterproductive to the fashion industry, because when these women are around, who's looking at clothes?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "We're all applauding. 'Yeah!' What are we applauding? We're applauding, 'There's great-looking women here. Yeah, this is great!'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Anybody can design a shirt. It takes talent to get all these girls in one spot. That's talent.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "What is this goofy walk that the models do? You know this walk that they do down the runway. This, like... They have to go somewhere.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "And then they get to the end, and it's like... 'Well, I guess I'll just go back.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I loved her, Jerry. I loved her. / No, you didn't.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I'll sit in my disgusting little apartment, watching basketball games, eating Chinese takeout, walking around with no underwear 'cause I'm too lazy to do a laundry.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "You walk around with no underwear?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Yeah. What do you do when you run out of laundry? / I do a wash.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "You said going up the steps to her apartment was like being taken to a cell.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I would give anything to be going up those stairs again.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I'm not going to see that nut doctor she went to Europe with.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "My darling Susan. / My darling! / What are you doing? / Date with Fred. / The religious guy? / He's not that religious. / Let us pray.", "c": ["George", "Elaine", "Fred"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Say, she was clever. You know? She put her picture on her card. I should do that. I never do anything like that. / You want a picture on a Christmas card? I can do that.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "She kept such a nice, clean apartment. She was so sanitary. / No. I was just thinking out loud. I don't want my picture on a card. / No, no, I'll take your picture. I'll take care of everything.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I don't know about that outfit, though. / Why, what's wrong with it? / Well, we'll have to improvise.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "George. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.", "c": ["Therapist"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Well, I figure, if it doesn't work out, I can always flush 'em down the toilet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "My next-door neighbor had the idea for this exact perfume last year. He even met with an executive at Calvin Klein. I can't believe they stole his idea.", "c": ["Tia"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Just wait over here. / What? / Just wait here, and I'll get it for you.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "How tall are you? / 5'10\". / Well, let's see. Come on, back-to-back. / No, Kramer!", "c": ["Kramer", "Tia", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Oh, you're tall. She's tall. I'm tall. What's the difference who's tall? We're all tall.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I could have been a millionaire. I could have been a fragrance millionaire, Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "What's with this thing? / So, uh, she broke up with you... / Yeah, and... / Why won't this go down?", "c": ["George", "Therapist"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "George. George, look at me. / Okay. Forget about the zipper. / [SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER]", "c": ["Therapist", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "That's the true spirit of Christmas. People being helped by people other than me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Because I'm not sure, and correct me if I'm wrong... but I think I see a nipple.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "You know, your whole life, you go through painstaking efforts to hide your nipple, and then, boom! Suddenly, hundreds of people get their own personal shot of it!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "It's a little, brown, circular protuberance. What's the big deal?", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody's got 'em. Look, I got 'em. / I got 'em too. See? Everybody's got 'em!", "c": ["Newman", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Was it a scratch... or a pick?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "There may have been some incidental penetration, but from her angle, she was in no position to make the call.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Did God say to Moses, 'Thou shall not pick'? I guarantee you Moses was a picker. You wander through the desert for 40 years with that dry air... You're telling me you're not gonna have occasion to clean house a little, huh?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "If you were going out with somebody, and she did that, what would you do? Would you continue going out with her? / No, that's disgusting.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Yeah. That's my new nickname at the office. Nip!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Hey, how come I didn't get a Christmas card? Everybody else got one. Jerry got one, Kramer got one. I thought we were good friends. I don't get a Christmas card. I don't get it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? All right, here. Here's your Christmas card.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I thought you said it was a scratch. / But that's not what she thinks.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I promise difference. I'm committed to difference.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I take these glasses off, you can't tell the difference between me and a rock! I put these glasses on a rock, you know what jumps into most people's minds? 'Costanza!'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Two weeks ago, I tried a soft-boiled egg. Never liked it before. Now, I'm dunking a piece of toast in there and I'm loving it!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I'm not a soft-boiled egg. And I am not a piece of toast.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "You think Louis Pasteur and his wife had anything in common? He was in the fields all day with the cows, you know, and the milk, examining the milk, delving into milk, consumed with milk, pasteurization, homogenization.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "And she was in the kitchen killing cockroaches with a boot on each hand.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Why were there so many cockroaches?", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Because there was a lot of cake lying around the house, just sitting there with all the excess milk from all the experiments.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Interesting face. / Yeah? / You're very lithe, aren't you? Very graceful. / Well, yeah. / Sit down. / All right. [KICKS COUCH] Ooh!", "c": ["Calvin Klein", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "I think you're spectacular. / Oh?", "c": ["Calvin Klein", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Hey, Nip, you need that manuscript, or can I take it home? / Yeah, take it. Take it. And stop calling me Nip!", "c": ["Coworker", "Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "His buttocks are sublime.", "c": ["Calvin Klein Executive"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "If we pick, do we not bleed? I am not an animal!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "For I have seen the nipple on your soul!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "And then it hits me like a bolt of lightning: The pick.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "She comes out of the bathroom, I'm in up to my wrist.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not sure, but... I think I see your...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "If your body was a car, you wouldn't buy it. It's too much upkeep. It's a pain.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "One of the great mysteries to me is the fact that a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, rip the hair out by the root and still be afraid of a spider.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "The Pick"}, {"t": "What is with the age-gap hiring policy at most movie theaters? They never hire anyone between the ages of 15 and 80.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "The girl that sells you the tickets, she's 10. Then there's the guy that rips it, he's 102.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "It's like they want to show you how life comes full circle. You're 15, selling tickets... Eighty years later, you're back at the same theater... 3 feet away, ripping tickets. Took you 80 years to move 3 feet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Buckles? You're not putting him on tonight, are you? No. He hangs around in case somebody drops out.", "c": ["Jerry", "Club Manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Do you have a ticket? No. Okay. Good.", "c": ["Theater Employee", "Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Why do they call it 'athlete's foot'? You don't have to be an athlete to get it. My father gets it all the time and, believe me, he's no athlete.", "c": ["Buckles"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 3.6, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Ponce de Le\u00f3n? Are you kidding me? I hated that movie.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "When Ponce looked in that mirror and saw that he hadn't changed... and that tear started to roll down his cheek, I lost it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "I want to see this movie on a big screen. That's a twin theater. I want to see this movie on a big screen.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "I once had the fleece ripped out of my winter coat in a seat-saving incident.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "When I asked you before if you had a ticket, you said no. I didn't. My friend was getting it. That's good. It's good to be accurate.", "c": ["Theater Employee", "Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "No, it's not a theater. It's a room where they bring in POWs to show them propaganda films.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Yes! Yes, I eat fish! I don't know how you eat that crap.", "c": ["Jerry", "Buckles"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie if there's the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Well, how's that easier? I mean, then you would owe me $12.50 instead of me owing you $7.50. Either way. Yeah, it's the same thing.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Tell you what. Give me the 20, I'll buy you a popcorn and soda and I'll throw in a bonbons. George, you're sapping my strength.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "I wonder how Ike Turner would react in traffic. 'You better move that car, girl, before I bust you up.'", "c": ["Buckles"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "It's not bad enough that I can't see, I have to sit here for two hours. I don't think so.", "c": ["Buckles"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 3.8, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Jerry, don't start up with me. Jerry, we're riffing. No, I'm not riffing. I'm ignoring. Do you understand the difference?", "c": ["Buckles", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "What, is that a rule? Are these your things? Yeah.", "c": ["Theater Patron", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "No, taken! Taken, taken. I'm getting the hang of it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Oh, take them.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Excuse me, have you seen a guy with, like... a horse face, big teeth and a pointed nose? Flared nostrils? Yeah. Nope. Haven't seen him.", "c": ["Kramer", "Theater Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Jerry, my closet is packed to the gills. I'm afraid to open the door.", "c": ["Buckles"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Really? Do you mean that? No, I don't.", "c": ["Jerry", "Buckles"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "There was a short guy with glasses... looked like Humpty-Dumpty with a melon head.", "c": ["Theater Employee"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "And then last night, he put on my high heels. He put on such a show for us. He was dancing around, lip-synching to A Chorus Line.", "c": ["Theater Patron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Excuse me. What's the problem? You're talking. It's the coming attractions.", "c": ["Jerry", "Theater Patron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "I'm going to the movies for 25 years, nobody ever asked me for the stub.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "I went in with a pretty woman. You know, short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Can I have a medium Diet Coke? You want the medium or middle size? What's the difference? Well, we have three sizes: medium, large and jumbo. What happened to the small? There is no small. Small's medium.", "c": ["Jerry", "Concession Worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Do adults ever order the child-size? Not usually.", "c": ["Jerry", "Concession Worker"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Is it real butter? It's butter flavoring. Yeah, well, what is it made of? It's yellow.", "c": ["Jerry", "Concession Worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "You just let me in. We just did this a minute ago! I need to see your stub. I got the stub. I got the stub. I put it right in my pocket. I got the... I'm telling you, I got the stub. I just... I don't know where it is.", "c": ["Jerry", "Theater Employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Come, come, you're soaking wet. Come in. My name is Rochelle. I'm from Milan. Take off those wet clothes. You'll catch cold. My hands are so cold, I can barely get these buttons open.", "c": ["Rochelle Rochelle"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Hey, listen, by the way... have you seen a tall, lanky doofus... with a bird face and hair like the Bride of Frankenstein?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "That athlete's-foot bit killed. Really? You think I need to lose some weight? Weight? No. You just need some height.", "c": ["Buckles", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Rochelle Rochelle? A young girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk. Minsk?", "c": ["Jerry", "Buckles"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Give me a break! Elaine? Jerry. Elaine. Shut up. Jerry? George? Elaine? George.", "c": ["Theater Patron", "Jerry", "Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Hey, by the way, you owe me $7.50. But I didn't even use the ticket. I still paid for it.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "You took my seat? You owe me $7.50. Yeah. Right. What is this stain? It's yellow mustard. Can you break a 20?", "c": ["Elaine", "George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "But I always get confused in the movie theater by the plot. It's embarrassing to have to admit, but I'm the one you see in the parking lot, after the movie, talking with his friends, going: 'You mean, that was the same guy from the beginning?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "Why did they kill that guy? Why did they kill him? Who was that guy? Who was that guy? I thought he was with them. Wasn't he with them? Why would they kill him if he was with them? Oh, he wasn't really with them. I thought he was with them. It's a good thing they killed him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "The Movie"}, {"t": "They never hire anyone between the ages of 15 and 80. The girl that sells you the tickets, she's 10. Then there's the guy that rips it, he's 102.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Took you 80 years to move 3 feet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Do you have a ticket? - No. - Okay. Good.", "c": ["Theater Worker", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Why do they call it 'athlete's foot'? You don't have to be an athlete to get it. My father gets it all the time and, believe me, he's no athlete.", "c": ["Babu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "When Ponce looked in that mirror and saw that he hadn't changed...and that tear started to roll down his cheek, I lost it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "I once had the fleece ripped out of my winter coat...in a seat-saving incident.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "When I asked you before if you had a ticket, you said no. - I didn't. My friend was getting it. - That's good. It's good to be accurate.", "c": ["Theater Worker", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "It's not a theater. It's a room where they bring in POWs to show them propaganda films.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "The whole atmosphere stunk from fish. You know that fishy smell I'm talking about? - Yeah, yeah. The fishy smell. - To this day I won't eat fish. - Do you eat fish? - Yes! Yes, I eat fish! - I don't know how you eat that crap.", "c": ["Babu", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Jerry, I want you to do me a favor: No more fish. - Okay. I get your point. - I have a point?", "c": ["Babu", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie...if there's the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Or I could take the 20, and I could pay you later. - Yeah, you could. - Might be easier. - Well, how's that easier? I mean, then you would owe me $12.50...instead of me owing you $7.50.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "George, you're sapping my strength.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "I wonder how Ike Turner would react in traffic. 'You better move that car, girl, before I bust you up.' And what about Jose Feliciano? 'It's not bad enough that I can't see, I have to sit here for two hours. I don't think so.'", "c": ["Babu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Jerry, don't start up with me. - I gotta get out of this cab. - But, Jerry, we're riffing. - No, I'm not riffing. I'm ignoring. Do you understand the difference?", "c": ["Babu", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "No, taken! Taken, taken. I'm getting the hang of it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "You see a guy who's about 5 foot 11...he's got a big head and flared nostrils...tell him his friend's gonna be right back, okay?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Have you seen a guy with, like...a horse face, big teeth and a pointed nose? - Flared nostrils? - Yeah. - Nope. Haven't seen him.", "c": ["Jerry", "Theater Worker"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Could I keep my trench coat in your closet for a few months? - Your trench coat in my closet? - Jerry, my closet is packed to the gills. I'm afraid to open the door.", "c": ["Babu", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Really? Do you mean that? - No, I don't.", "c": ["Babu", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "But you like the athlete's-foot bit, right? - No. No. I was kidding. It was terrible.", "c": ["Babu", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "There was a short guy with glasses...looked like Humpty-Dumpty with a melon head. But he left.", "c": ["Theater Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "And then last night, he put on my high heels. He put on such a show for us. He was dancing around, lip-synching to A Chorus Line.", "c": ["Movie Patron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Excuse me. - What's the problem? - You're talking. - It's the coming attractions.", "c": ["Jerry", "Movie Patron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "I'm going to the movies for 25 years, nobody ever asked me for the stub. - You don't remember me? - It's a big city, sir.", "c": ["Jerry", "Theater Worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "You know, short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Elaine? - Shut up!", "c": ["Jerry", "Movie Patrons"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "A young woman's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "What's the difference? - Well, we have three sizes: medium, large and jumbo. - What happened to the small? - There is no small. Small's medium.", "c": ["Jerry", "Concession Worker"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "So, what's medium? - Medium's large, and large is jumbo. - Okay, give me the large. - That's medium.", "c": ["Jerry", "Concession Worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Do adults ever order the child-size? - Not usually.", "c": ["Jerry", "Concession Worker"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Do you want butter? - Is it real butter? - It's butter flavoring. - Yeah, well, what is it made of? - It's yellow.", "c": ["Concession Worker", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "You just let me in. We just had this exact conversation a minute ago! - I need to see your stub.", "c": ["Jerry", "Theater Worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm very sorry. You give me a few minutes. I have to stop for gasoline. - Gasoline? Can't you get it after you drop me off? - No. Impossible. It is on empty. See.", "c": ["Cab Driver", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Come, come, you're soaking wet. Come in. My name is Rochelle. I'm from Milan. I'm supposed to visit my relatives in Minsk. - Yes. Come by the fire. Take off those wet clothes. You'll catch cold.", "c": ["Movie Characters"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Have you seen a tall, lanky doofus...with a bird face and hair like the Bride of Frankenstein?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Sorry. - Great. That's great. What a night.", "c": ["Comedy Club Manager", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "That athlete's-foot bit killed. - Really? - You think I need to lose some weight? - Weight? No. You just need some height.", "c": ["Babu", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Minsk? - My father was a shoemaker.", "c": ["Jerry", "Movie Character"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Give me a break! - Elaine? - Jerry. - Elaine. - Shut up. - Jerry? - George? - Elaine? - George.", "c": ["Movie Patron", "Jerry", "Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "I sat in gum.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "But I didn't even use the ticket. - I still paid for it.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "You took my seat? - You owe me $7.50. - Yeah. Right.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "But I always get confused in the movie theater by the plot. It's embarrassing to have to admit, but I'm the one you see...in the parking lot, after the movie, talking with his friends, going: 'You mean, that was the same guy from the beginning?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Nobody will explain it to you. In the theater, you can't find out. 'Why did they kill that guy? Why did they kill him? Who was that guy? Who was that guy? I thought he was with them. Wasn't he with them?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "Why would they kill him if he was with them? - Oh, he wasn't really with them. - I thought he was with them. - It's a good thing they killed him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "The Visa"}, {"t": "I'm tired of pretending I'm excited every time it's somebody's birthday. What is the big deal? How many times do we have to celebrate that someone was born? Every year, over and over. All you did was not die for 12 months.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I love the astrology things that tell you the people that have the same birthday as you. It's always an odd group of people too. It's like Ed Asner, Elijah Muhammed and Secretariat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I don't wanna live! I don't wanna live! Because of me? You must be joking. Who wouldn't wanna live because of me?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "You can do better than me. You could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I'm no good. You're good. You're good. I'm bad. I'm bad. You're killing me!", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Over you? Well...", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Oh, what are you gonna get Jerry for his birthday? I got him a great gift. Really? What? I got two tickets to see Guys and Dolls. Oh, that is a good gift. Maybe he'll take me. No, I'm gonna go with him.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Never even seen you? Gotta kind of envy that.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "You know, you've been developing quite the acid tongue lately. Really?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Who do you think is the most unattractive world leader? Living or all-time? All-time. If it's all-time, there's no contest. It begins and ends with Brezhnev.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I don't know. Did you ever get a good look at De Gaulle? Lyndon Johnson was uglier than De Gaulle. I got news for you. Golda Meir could make them all run up a tree.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Golda Meir. Good one, babe.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "You know just because you two are homosexuals, so what? I mean, you should come out of the closet and be openly gay already.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "You know you'll always be the only man I'll ever love. What's the matter with you? Come on. Go along. I'm not going along.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I could just see you in Berlin in 1939 goose-stepping past me. 'Come on, Jerry. Go along. Go along.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "People think I'm gay. Yeah, people ask me that about you too. Yeah, because I'm single, I'm thin, and I'm neat. And you get along well with women. I guess that leaves me in the clear.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I just thought of a great name for myself, if I ever become a porno actor. Oh, yeah? What? Buck Naked? Yeah. How did you know that? You told me that already. Like two months ago.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "How you gonna get out of that one? I don't know. I guess I have to wait for her to die.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Oh, is that a problem? No, I just hate my voice on tape. It always sounds so high and whiny.", "c": ["Sharon", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Jerry, did you wash this pear? Yeah, I washed it. It looks like it hasn't been washed. So wash it. You hear the way he talks to me?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "You should hear how my boyfriend talks to me.", "c": ["Sharon"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Is that, like, the end of the world or something?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Actually, it was in gym class. I was trying to climb the ropes and Jerry was spotting me. And I kept slipping and burning my thighs. And then finally I slipped, and I fell on Jerry's head. We've been close ever since.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Do you guys live together? Live together? No, I got my own place.", "c": ["Sharon", "George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Oh, and do your parents know? Know what? My parents? They don't know what's going on.", "c": ["Sharon", "George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Not that there's anything wrong with that. No, of course not. It's fine, if that's who you are. Absolutely. I mean, I have many gay friends. My father's gay.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Sharon"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Look, you wanna have sex right now? Do you wanna have sex with me right now? Let's go. Come on! Let's go, baby! Come on!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Because you know me, I walk into a room, problem solved.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Happy birthday. 'Faruba!' Today's not my birthday. Well, I beg to differ. Well, I think I know when my birthday is. Yeah, well, you'd think so, but you'd be wrong.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Leave me alone. Get off my back about the jacket.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "She thinks we're heterosexual. I guess we fooled her.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "There may be a problem with the phone. This phone's a piece of junk.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "You know there are tribes in Indonesia where if you keep your coat on in somebody's house, the families go to war.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Guys and Dolls? Isn't that a lavish Broadway musical? It's Guys and Dolls, not Guys and Guys.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "The Collected Works of Bette Midler. What? I... I thought you liked Bette Midler. She's all right. You said you liked her. Well, so what? Maybe I do like her. So what? So nothing.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Although they maintain separate residences, the comedian and his longtime companion seem to be inseparable. Within the confines of his fastidious bachelor pad, Seinfeld and Costanza bicker over the cleanliness of a piece of fruit like an old married couple.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I told you that pear was washed.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I thought we were friends.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "You're thin, late 30s, single. So are you. Yeah.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "It was those culottes you made him wear when he was 5. They weren't culottes. They were shorts. They were culottes! You bought them in the girls' department. By mistake. By mistake, Jerry. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Frank", "Helen", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I fell right off the toilet. My back went out again. I couldn't move. The super had to come and help me up. I was half-naked.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Maybe you're making porno films. Yeah. I'm Buck Naked.", "c": ["Helen", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Six-thirty, Scott. Time for your sponge bath. Six-thirty already? I fell asleep. Let me help you off with that. Here, I'll just slip it over your head. The water's nice and warm, isn't it? Oh, that feels really good.", "c": ["TV Show"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I want you to know that it took a lot of guts to come out how you did and that you've inspired me to do the same, even though that may mean a discharge from the service. Thanks.", "c": ["Soldier"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "If you boys cannot control yourselves, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.", "c": ["Restaurant Manager"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I'm out, baby! I'm out!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I'm gay. I'm a gay man. I'm very, very gay. Extraordinarily gay. Steeped in gayness.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Jerry! Oh, my God! What are you doing? What? You're with a woman! I know. What are you doing here? I leave you alone for two seconds, and this is what you do? I trusted you!", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "My name's Buck Naked. I'm a porno actor.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "Not that there's anything wrong with that.", "c": ["Phone Repairman"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I am not gay. I am, however, thin, single and neat. When someone is thin, single and neat, people assume they're gay because that's the stereotype.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "If people are gonna assume that neat people are gay, instead of doing this: 'I think Joe might be a little...' They should vacuum. 'You know, I think Joe might be...' Yeah. I got a feeling he's a little...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "The Shoes"}, {"t": "I'm tired of pretending I'm excited every time it's somebody's birthday.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "All you did was not die for 12 months. That's all you've done, as far as I could tell.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "It's like Ed Asner, Elijah Muhammed and Secretariat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "You could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Over you? - Yes. Why, is that so inconceivable?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Gotta kind of envy that. - You know, you've been developing quite the acid tongue lately.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "If it's all-time, there's no contest. It begins and ends with Brezhnev.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I got news for you. Golda Meir could make them all run up a tree.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "You know just because you two are homosexuals, so what? I mean, you should come out of the closet and be openly gay already.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "You know you'll always be the only man I'll ever love.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I could just see you in Berlin in 1939 goose-stepping past me. 'Come on, Jerry. Go along. Go along.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Yeah, because I'm single, I'm thin, and I'm neat. - And you get along well with women. - I guess that leaves me in the clear.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Buck Naked? - Yeah. How did you know that? - You told me that already. Like two months ago.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "How you gonna get out of that one? - I don't know. I guess I have to wait for her to die.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "It always sounds so high and whiny.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Jerry, did you wash this pear? - Yeah, I washed it. - It looks like it hasn't been washed. - So wash it.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "You hear the way he talks to me?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "You should hear how my boyfriend talks to me.", "c": ["Sharon"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Actually, we met in a gym locker room. - Yeah. - Actually, it was in gym class. I was trying to climb the ropes and Jerry was spotting me.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "And I kept slipping and burning my thighs. And then finally I slipped, and I fell on Jerry's head. We've been close ever since.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Do your parents know? - Know what? - My parents? They don't know what's going on.", "c": ["Sharon", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Not that there's anything wrong with that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Look, you wanna have sex right now? Do you wanna have sex with me right now? Let's go. Come on! Let's go, baby! Come on!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Well, I don't wanna sit there naked all by myself.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Because you know me, I walk into a room, problem solved.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Happy birthday. 'Faruba!' - Today's not my birthday. - Well, I beg to differ. - Well, I think I know when my birthday is. - Yeah, well, you'd think so, but you'd be wrong.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Maybe he's right. Maybe it is my birthday.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I could hear you on the other line. - What are you talking about? - I heard what you said: 'Sharon, are you there?'", "c": ["Sharon", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Not that there's anything wrong with that. - Not at all.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Guys and Dolls? Isn't that a lavish Broadway musical?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "It's Guys and Dolls, not Guys and Guys.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "The Collected Works of Bette Midler.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I've been outed. I wasn't even in.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Seinfeld and Costanza bicker over the cleanliness of a piece of fruit like an old married couple.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I told you that pear was washed.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Ma?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "It was those culottes you made him wear when he was 5. - They weren't culottes. They were shorts. - They were culottes! You bought them in the girls' department.", "c": ["Frank", "Helen", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "It looked like he was wearing a skirt, for crying out loud.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I fell right off the toilet.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Maybe you're making porno films. - Yeah. I'm Buck Naked.", "c": ["Helen", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Six-thirty, Scott. Time for your sponge bath.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I want you to know that it took a lot of guts to come out how you did and that you've inspired me to do the same, even though that may mean a discharge from the service.", "c": ["Soldier"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "If you boys cannot control yourselves, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.", "c": ["Maitre d'"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I'm out, baby! I'm out!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I'm gay. I'm a gay man. I'm very, very gay. Extraordinarily gay. Steeped in gayness.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "You remind me of Lois Lane.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I leave you alone for two seconds, and this is what you do? I trusted you!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "My name's Buck Naked. I'm a porno actor.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "I am not gay. I am, however, thin, single and neat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "You know, Joe, I enjoy being gay with you, but it's about time you got in shape, tucked your shirt in and lost the wife.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "Yeah. I got a feeling he's a little... [vacuum gesture]", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "The Outing"}, {"t": "life expectancy was 30. Which, in our terms, would mean you get your driver's license around 5, marry at 9, divorced at 15. In your late teens, you move down to Florida.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "I guess that's how spring break got started. I don't know.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Well, it's amazing, he's 28, but he's still very alert. His mind is so sharp, you would think you're talking to a 2-year-old.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "When I like them, they don't like me. When they like me, I don't like them.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Well, you've only got another 50 years or so to go and it'll all be over.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Maybe I need someone who doesn't speak English. Yeah, how about a mute?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "This is what my life has come to: Trying to meet a mute.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "There's a void, Jerry. There's a void. A deep, yawning chasm.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "What gives you pleasure? Listening to you. I listen to this for 15 minutes, I'm on top of the world. Your misery is my pleasure.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "That's what I do with him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "What, do you break it in with her then you try it out on me?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "I think I'm pretty much like you. Only successful.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "You think we'll make it to that age? We? No.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "So, what's up, diggety-dog?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "It's a con. These agencies are usually a front for some money-laundering scheme. Or they're bunco artists. Bilking people out of their life savings.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "The alternative media, Jerry. That's where you hear the truth.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Aren't those the guys that always go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody? Sometimes.", "c": ["George", "Newman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. Never a letup. It's relentless.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Then the bar code reader breaks, and it's Publishers Clearing House day!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "All right, all right, all right. Just take the records. They're in the bedroom. Take them. Take anything you want.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Those records are worth more than 5 dollars. He's gypping us. You're gypping us.", "c": ["Newman", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Wait, wait, wait. Sergio Mendes has a cult following. Why, they follow him like a cult. Can't walk down the street in South America.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "We'll be back, Jack. We'll be back... Jack.", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "The agency? What agency? The CIA?", "c": ["Sid Fields"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "She steals from me. Steals my money. She says she doesn't speak English. My ass, she doesn't speak English. Plays that freaking voodoo music.", "c": ["Sid Fields"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "She thinks she's gonna turn me into a zombie and then rob me blind. Well, I wasn't born yesterday. I might drop dead today, but I sure as hell wasn't born yesterday.", "c": ["Sid Fields"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Are you the boyfriend? I know she's got a boyfriend. Are you gonna kill me? I'm an old man, for crying out loud. You gonna kill an old man, you coward?", "c": ["Sid Fields"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Well, if I wanted it, I wouldn't be throwing it away, would I, Einstein?", "c": ["Sid Fields"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Well, take it. I sure as hell am not gonna give it to my family.", "c": ["Sid Fields"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "With you? I'd rather be dead.", "c": ["Sid Fields"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "I just remembered I got an appointment to get my tonsils out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Oh, listen, before you go... would you mind changing my diaper?", "c": ["Sid Fields"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "You're really... kind of pushing the envelope there.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Imagine how much I'll be thinking about it at your age. All I'll do is keep thinking about it till it drives me insane.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "It's a matter of simple arithmetic, for God's sake.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Life's too short to waste on you.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "But, Mr. Cantwell, you owe me for the soup.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "It's my goiter, isn't it?", "c": ["Mrs. Oliver"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "This football-shaped lump jutting out the side of my neck.", "c": ["Mrs. Oliver"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "In fact, it's very distinctive. You know? I mean, you wanna know something? I wish I had one.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "I keep thinking that goiter's gonna start talking to me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, this woman almost has a second head.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "They really should mention that in the breakdown. Height. Weight. Goiter.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Well, I'd rather talk to a goiter with a nice disposition than the nut they sent me to.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "How do you get fired from a volunteer job?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "I'm a great quitter. It's one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter. My grandfather was a quitter. I was raised to give up.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "That guy can't even go to the bathroom in South America.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "The coot's sitting on a mountain of gold.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "I would like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "It's a miracle. You don't understand because you don't speak English.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "He's biting me!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "My teeth. My teeth! Where's his teeth? Where's his teeth? I saw something fly over here.", "c": ["Sid Fields", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "That's the garbage disposal.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Come on, we lost the old man.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Gandhi? The passion. The forbidden pleasure.", "c": ["Mrs. Oliver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "He used to dip his bald head in oil and he'd rub it all over my body.", "c": ["Mrs. Oliver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 8.73, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Al Jolson. What the hell do I care about Al Jolson? I'd just as soon hear you sing 'Mammy.'", "c": ["Record Store Owner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "You are nothing but a piece of crap. I find you extremely ugly. You emit a foul and unpleasant odor. I loathe you.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Make us. Make us. Make us. Make us.", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "How do you lose a human being?", "c": ["Tim Fields"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "A real brouhaha.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Looked like a football.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Well, are you gonna see her again? We were getting along real good and then she made some tea. Put some milk in it without asking me. Now, that's a turnoff.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "Except the car. The older they get, the bigger their car gets. I've never understood that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "I'm old. I've been waiting a long time. I'm backing it out. I'm coming back. Watch out. I'm coming.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "I would think the less time you have in life, the faster you would wanna go.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "I think old people should be allowed to drive their age. If you're 80, do 80. If you're 100, go 100. They can't see where they're going anyway, let them have fun out there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Old Man"}, {"t": "I don't belong to a health club. I have a limit on naked men I see in one day.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Zero. That's it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "What is this, the Kremlin?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Is this a big problem, people stealing exercise?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "And what if they catch the person? What then? They run. It's aerobic. Makes it even worse.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Unless someone's stretching in front of me in a leotard, then I can go an hour.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "That's why it's called the StairMaster. You get up there and you stare.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "You know, they're fake.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "You know how you always brag how you can spot a lesbian? I'm not bragging. I happen to have a very keen lesbian eye.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Leg man? Why would I be a leg man? I don't need legs. I have legs.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Yes. Go in there. Do a little investigative journalism.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Can't go left.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "I'm lefty. Can't go right.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "No, we just play defense.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "I'll shout.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "In the whole world right now there's maybe three emergencies. Why would you think on this planet that you're one of those three?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "All right, maybe four.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Good sweat. Beads of sweat. Sweating bullets.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "She's got a rack on her chest.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "It's like finding out Mickey Mantle corked his bat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "You don't unhook anything to get to a nose...and no man has ever tried to look up a woman's nostrils.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Sometimes when I think you're the shallowest man I've ever met...you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "You got five million Moslems after you. You wanna stay in pretty good shape.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "I put them on a dental chair.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "You're a funny guy. Never heard that before.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Her aunt dying is the best thing for you. It's like 10 dates in one shot.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "You're getting sandwiches. You're the rock.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Oh, look who's here. Silicon Valley.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "He would have made a great Nazi.", "c": ["Sidra"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "I touched them.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "If it hadn't been for them, I could have really injured myself.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "I've touched mine.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "All right. Anyway, I think they're real, and if they are, they are spectacular.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "What kind of a sick person would do a thing like that?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "If you were drowning and I threw you a life preserver...you think you could tell me if it was an inflatable?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "If that's Rushdie, they're real. If they're real, that's Rushdie.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Well, I'm the boyfriend. Otherwise, what's the point of being the boyfriend. This is where you have to be when you're the boyfriend.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Comfort schmomfort.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Bass, Jerry. Instead of salmon, he went with bass. He just substituted one fish for another.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Look, you idiot, first of all, it's 'Salman,' not 'salmon.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Did you just double dip that chip?", "c": ["Timmy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "It's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip.", "c": ["Timmy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sorry, Timmy...but I don't dip that way.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "I like sitting to the left of people. Makes me feel like I'm driving.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Huge. Just coming out the top of her dress. They were choking her. I hear that's how she died.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Well, I think you'll find out soon enough.", "c": ["Sidra"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "I don't want your boys down there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Your boys should stay in their neighborhood.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "I think you're both mentally ill.", "c": ["Sidra"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "And by the way, they're real and they're spectacular.", "c": ["Sidra"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "A picture of me next to the coffin.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "Give me the cheesecake, crank me up to nine...and put a scoop of ice cream on the side.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Implant"}, {"t": "You can't have adultery. You commit it. You can't even commit adultery unless you already have a commitment. So you have to make the commitment before thinking about committing it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "There's no commit without the commit.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Then you get caught, get divorced, lose your mind... and they have you committed.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "You know, some people actually cheat on the people they're cheating with... which is like, you know, being in a holdup... and turning to the robber next to you and going: 'All right, give me everything you have too.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Produce section. Very provocative area. Lots of melons and shapes. Everyone squeezing and smelling.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "I was nervous. I got distracted. It had something to do with a car or a fish.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Look at... Why do I get bananas? They're good for one day.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "You make money without doing anything. I have some friends that try and base their whole life on that principle. Really? Who? Nobody you know.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "It's gonna be like a log cabin. Because I need wood around me. Wood, Jerry. Wood.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Wood is good. Definitely.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "If I watch it at my apartment, I feel like I'm not doing anything. If I watch it here, I'm out of the house, I'm doing something.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "You bought me dishwashing gloves. There's no fine touch.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Oh, the triangle guy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "He was a fat starving artist, you know? That's very rare.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Well, I think I can do that. I've played that role before to some critical acclaim.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "What's with him? You know, a lot of people have asked that.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "I hardly recognize you. You look so...", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "This is... You really lost weight.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Thank you. Jerry. I'm the boyfriend.", "c": ["Roy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "The mother lode.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "I can't believe it. You were huge. Like blubber. I couldn't even get my arms around you.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "After you stopped seeing me, I was devastated. I couldn't eat for weeks.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "You know, I can't get this damn thing to sleep.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Honey... aren't we going to the Poconos next Friday?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Shut up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Pay dirt.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Hey. I just learned that.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Are you asking because you saw 20/20 last night? I sure am.", "c": ["Doctor", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Come on, Jerry, you gotta see the operation. They're gonna cut him open. His guts will be all over the place. They'll saw through bone. We'll see what's inside bone.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "You're crying from Home Alone? The old man got to me.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Get yourself together. I don't know if I can be friends with you anymore after this display.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "It's Clara Nightingale Syndrome. He falls ill, she falls in love. You mean Florence Nightingale. What did I say, 'Clara'? You must have meant Clara Barton.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Clara Barton? What did she do? I'm not sure, but I think she was nice.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Susan B. Anthony I think I'd have a problem with. Yeah, I think you would.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "There are ways.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Jerry, Jerry, Dingleberry and Seinsmelled. Seinsmelled? Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "What do you expect when your name rhymes with a part of the female anatomy? Of course, not everybody can be as sweet as you are.", "c": ["Dolores"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Now, let's try 'breast.' Celeste. Kest. No. Rest. Sest. Hest? That's not a name.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Aretha. No. Bovary.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Isn't that where they remove the..? Don't ruin it. I haven't seen it yet.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Mulva?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Then we'll watch them go slice this fat bastard up.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "What are you eating? Junior Mints. You want one? No. Here. Take one. I don't want one. No, they're good. I don't want any. Just take one. No. Stop... Kramer, stop it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Did it go in? Yes. Over the balcony, bounced off some respirator thing... into the patient.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "What do you mean, 'Into the patient'? Into the patient. Literally. Into the hole? Yes. The hole.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Well, what did they do? They sealed him up with the mint inside. They left the Junior Mint in him? Yes.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Well, I... I guess it can't hurt him. People eat pounds of those things. Yes, they eat them. They don't put them next to vital organs in their abdominal cavity.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Why'd you force that mint on me? I didn't want the mint! What? I didn't believe you. How could you not? Well, who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint. It's delicious. That's true. It's very refreshing.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Just my luck, you know? Just when he was getting thin and attractive.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "You know, if the guy dies... the art could really be worth something.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "We gotta confess. Really? Yes. We could be tried for murder. I can't have this on my conscience. We're Leopold and Loeb.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "What are you so tense about? Nothing, really. Just a homicide.", "c": ["Dolores", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "That's terrific... Mulva.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "My aunt's name is Mulva. She's a masseuse.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "I was just looking for some gum. Or a mint. I have Junior Mints. No! No. I mean... No, thank you. No.", "c": ["Jerry", "Dolores"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Hello. Hello, I'm Kramer. Nice to meet you. See you later.", "c": ["Kramer", "Dolores"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Hi. Hi, I'm George. Nice to meet you, George. Yeah. I gave it a shot.", "c": ["George", "Dolores"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "He's gonna be okay. Where's the luck? There's no luck. Nineteen hundred dollars down the drain.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "I have no medical evidence to back me up, but something happened during the operation that staved off that infection. Something beyond science. Something perhaps... from above.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Mint? Those can be very refreshing.", "c": ["Doctor", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Well, I really think I'm falling for you... 'Joseph Poglia.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "I had it autographed for my uncle. Yeah, I know. You don't know my name, do you?", "c": ["Dolores", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "It rhymes with a female body part. What is it? Mulva?", "c": ["Dolores", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Gipple? Loleola?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Dolores!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.75, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Ages 0 through 10, candy is your life. There's nothing else. Family, friends, school, they're only obstacles in the way of getting more candy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "Only a 7-year-old kid can actually taste the difference between, like, a red M&M and a light-brown M&M. That's two totally different things when you're a 7-year-old. 'Well, your red is more of a main-course M&M... but the brown, it's a more of a mellower flavor. It's an after-dinner M&M, really.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Junior Mint"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, you're gonna have to give me the doggy bag. I couldn't make it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Let me tell you, if you're a guy and you ask for the doggy bag on a date... you might as well have them just wrap up your genitals too. You're not gonna be needing those for a while either.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Look at you. Look what you've become.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "He'll like you more. - That's impossible.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Stan, why do you have to pick your teeth at the table? - Leave me alone. - It's disgusting. Yeah, I'm gonna get married real soon.", "c": ["Background couple"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Guy's got quite a racket. I take you to dinner... then drop you at his apartment. And he gets the rest of my chicken.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "So when somebody has BO... the O usually stays with the B. Once the B leaves, the O goes with it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Let's see. I ski, I fish... I pillage, I plunder. - You pillage and plunder? - When I travel.", "c": ["Carl", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Hey, what do you know? Look at that. A lesbian sighting. My lucky day.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "They're so fascinating. Why is that? Because they don't want us. You gotta respect that.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Oh, boy. [George's reaction to seeing Susan with a woman]", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Come on, that's great. Are you kidding? I think that's fantastic. I've always encouraged experimentation. I'm the first guy in the pool.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Since you and I broke up. - So after me, you... went that way?", "c": ["Susan", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "It's not even frontal nudity. It's 'sidal' nudity.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "You didn't rewind it. There's a $2 charge for not rewinding. - But there's no signs here. - This is an outrage.", "c": ["Video store clerk", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "I'm not giving you the satisfaction. I'm gonna watch it again.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "I figure by this time, the odor molecules have had at least 12 hours to 'de-smellify.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "I can think of at least six known offensive odors that I would rather smell than what's living in your car. - What about skunk? - I don't mind skunk. - Horse manure? - I love horse manure.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "When you're with a guy and he tells you he has to get up early... what does that mean? - It means he's lying.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Jerry, I'm sure I've seen men on the street early in the morning. - Well, sometimes we do have to get up early... but a man will always trade sleep for sex.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Is it possible I'm not as attractive as I think I am? - Anything's possible.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "I know the list.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "You stink. - What do you mean, I stink? - You stink.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "It's attached itself to me. It's alive.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "So let me ask you, do you think I could've done this? - No, no. It's the valet guy. - No, no. I mean, driven Susan to lesbianism.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Suicide, maybe. Not lesbianism.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Oh, this isn't even BO. This is beyond BO. It's BBO.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "There should be a BO squad that patrols the city... to sniff them out, strip them down and wash them with a soapy brush.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "The funny thing is, somehow I find her more appealing now. Like, if I knew she was a lesbian when we went out... I never would've broken up with her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Maybe you stunk up the car, rather than the car stinking up you. - Oh, it's the chicken and the egg.", "c": ["Restaurant manager", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Yes! Yes, 125 is good. Now could you please open the door! Let me out of here!", "c": ["Restaurant manager"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Someone stole Rochelle, Rochelle? - Well, you left the window open. - We had to air out the car.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "The O went from the valet's B to the car to me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "It clings to everything. Jerry thinks it's an entity.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "But I showered, and I shampooed. So... - That's a relief. - Yeah. - What? - It's still there.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "I need, like, 35. Thanks. - So was it me? - Oh, don't be ridiculous. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?", "c": ["George", "Susan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Let me ask you something: If you and Mona were ever to dance... how do you decide who leads? I mean, do you take turns? Do you discuss it beforehand? How does that work?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "You're an idiot. - Why? That's a legitimate sociological question.", "c": ["Susan", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Oh, and George, by the way... you stink. You need a bath. - It's not me! It's the car!", "c": ["Susan", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Even Superman would be helpless against this kind of stench.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "This isn't just an odor. You need a priest to get rid of this thing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "It's a presence. It's the beast.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Amazing. I drive them to lesbianism, he brings them back.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "I'm Kramer.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "You happen to be a very eligible lesbian.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "I can't sell this car. This thing. It's got to be stopped.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "So, what do you want to do? - Sauce me.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Why do we need BO? What is the function of it? Everything in nature has a reason, has a purpose, except BO.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "You move, you stink. Why can't our bodies help us? Why can't sweat smell good?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Instead of putting your laundry in the hamper, put it in a vase.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Probably have a dirty sock hanging from the rearview mirror of your car.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "Then on a special night, maybe a little underwear... coming out of your breast pocket. Just to show her that she's important.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Smelly Car"}, {"t": "so it's conceivable that while she's getting lingerie... he'll be at a nude bar watching a dancer in the same outfit.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "when you're single you're the dictator of your own life... When you're married you are part of a vast decision-making body.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "You've been impeached. You weren't even the president.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "really good-looking women... walk a lot faster than everybody else... They're a blur. It's like they got a motor on their ass.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "It never ends, this present stuff. Engagement present. Then they get married. You gotta get them something. Then a baby. Another present.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Don't like the Drake? - Hate the Drake. - I love the Drake. - How could you not like the Drake? - Who's the Drake?", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Elaine, look. I drew this triangle freehand. It's a doodle. It's perfect.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "I'm lukewarm about the Drakette.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Once he gets it, he doesn't go out for weeks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Have you ever seen a handicapped person pull into a space and park?... No, they don't. If they could drive, they wouldn't be handicapped.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "It's the same thing with the feminists. They want everything to be equal. Everything. But when the check comes, where are they?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "You got a veggieburger, so I got one. It's like eating a loaf of crumbs.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Some jerk parked in the handicapped spot... so this woman in a wheelchair had to wheel up this incline. Halfway up, her batteries gave out, and she rolled backwards into the wall.", "c": ["Bystander"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "It's not like we stuck a broomstick in her spokes and she went flying.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Must have been a rich, spoiled handicapped person... who didn't want to do any work. Just wanted to sit in her wheelchair and take it easy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Eight years I had that car, not a scratch on it. Eight years.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "They had swastikas all over it. They were hurling racial epithets at us.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "The important thing is he didn't get hurt. - No, it isn't.", "c": ["Estelle", "Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Jerry's car gets hit and the other driver doesn't have any insurance... so the judge sentences him to be Jerry's butler.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Mahjongg.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "I'm glad they're happy, but frankly it doesn't do anything for me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "I'm in love.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "She's got everything I've always wanted in another human being. Except for the walking.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "What's the difference. You don't go out that much.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "we're gonna look out the window, see her crawling along Fifth Avenue. Is that what you want?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Wheelchairs. Engagement presents. It never ends!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "This is like you're almost glad to be handicapped.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "I put Stephen Hawking in one of these two months ago, he's loving it.", "c": ["Wheelchair salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "We just broke up.", "c": ["Drake"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Hell of a picture on this thing. - Crystal clear.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "It was owned by some lady... who only used it to go to the kitchen to feed her cats.", "c": ["Used wheelchair salesman"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "when I see someone enjoying themselves like that... it reminds me of why I got into this business in the first place.", "c": ["Used wheelchair salesman"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Don't worry, they'll make friends fast with that nice TV.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Once there's no theirs, there's no hers. It should be ours.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "I told you the Drake was bad. I hate the Drake!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Calling people I hardly know... and demanding they return expensive gifts? That's my thing?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "I could see that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "She gave it to charity. - Charity? That's appalling. How could anybody be so selfish and inconsiderate.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "You mean a blessing in disguise?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "And that's a lot of wheelchairs.", "c": ["Volunteer speaker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Parking in a handicap spot.", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "I agreed to become his butler.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "She rolled right over me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Said I was a hipster doofus. Am I a hipster doofus?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "You're very attractive.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Went right down a hill?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Somebody gave her a used wheelchair with defective brakes. Sons of bitches!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "The handicapped parking spot is the mirage of the parking desert.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "They must have to just stack, like, a hundred cars into those two spots. How else are they gonna do it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "The Handicap Spot"}, {"t": "Hi. My name is Bill. And the one thing I'm worried about is having a stereo and a cream-colored couch.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "Now, this means, to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "Why do we need two people in the show that can't act?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "My grandmother's in the hospital. / Your grandmother's in the hospital!", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "I've never been to Mars, but I imagine it's quite lovely.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "Mine was better than that!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "Do you, uh...have a ketchup secret?", "c": ["Russell"], "jt": ["absurdist", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "I don't know why-- Why don't they just put pretzels out on the table? Or even peanuts would be good. But I don't know who eats these cheesy things.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "He's that, um, 'Did you ever notice this? Did you ever notice that?' guy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "It's about nothing. / What do you mean it's about nothing? / Well, it's-- It's really-- It's very unusual. / For example, what did you do today? / Um...I got up, um, I went to work, then I came here. / There's a show. That's a show.", "c": ["Russell", "Elaine"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "You're telling the world, 'I give up!' 'I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "God would never let me be successful. He'd kill me first. He'll never let me be happy. / I thought you didn't believe in God. / I do for the bad things.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "What kind of a therapist are you? I'm paying you, I'm scared that something terrible's gonna happen to me, right away, you start looking for tumors?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "I bet you're rooting for a tumor.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "If I don't go to the doctor, nothing will happen. If I go, he might find something.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, it's Crazy Joe Davola!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "Good luck on the pilot, Jerry.", "c": ["Joe Davola"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "Anyone call for Vandelay Industries? / No, why? / Listen to me. I told the unemployment office I was close to a job with Vandelay Industries and I gave them your phone number. So when you answer the phone now, you've got to say, 'Vandelay Industries.' / Right! / I'm Vandelay Industries? / You're in latex.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "I just came from the podiatrist. I got something wrong with my foot. I got a little gangrene. They're probably gonna have to amputate.", "c": ["Michael Barth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "A man gave me a...massage. / So? / Uh, well, he, uh... He had his hands, you know, and, uh, he was, uh... / He was what? / Well, he was, you know... touching and rubbing. / That's a massage. / I think it moved.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "It's like a bald convention out there!", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "No, you didn't. He knows he's bald.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "What was that look? / What look? / That look you just gave me. / I gave a look? Yes.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "I'm getting rid of all my furniture. All of it. I'm building levels... with steps. Completely carpeted... with pillows. Like ancient Egypt.", "c": ["Tom (Kramer actor)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "Oh...I'll be comfortable.", "c": ["Tom (Kramer actor)"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "What happened to the raisins? Yeah, there was a box of raisins there. Did he just steal the raisins? Do you think he stole them?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "This is Martin Van Nostrand. / What are you doing here? / You two know each other? / Wait a minute. I know you! You're the guy from the Calvin Klein underwear ads.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "Casting Director", "Tom"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Pilot (1)"}, {"t": "How about the seedless watermelon? What an invention. Scientists are working on this. Other scientists devote their lives to fighting cancer, AIDS. These guys go, 'No, I'm focusing on melon.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "You ever try and pick a wet one up off the floor? It's almost impossible.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "I'm devoting my life to that. So I guess if they can get rid of the seeds, the rind is going next.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "What do we need that for? They're not gonna stop until they're making ready-to-eat fruit cups growing right out of the ground.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Let me ask you this. When she comes over, you cleaning up a lot? Yeah. Straightening up or cleaning? Cleaning. You do the tub? Yeah. On your knees, Ajax, hands, scrubbing, the whole deal? Yeah. Okay. I think you're in love.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Tub is love.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Below the equator?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Nobody does. You know, nobody knows what to do. You just close your eyes, you hope for the best.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "I don't know. Last time I got the tap.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "You got the tap? You're going along, you think everything's all right and all of a sudden you get that tap.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "It's like, 'All right, that's enough. You're through.' The tap is tough. It's like the manager coming out and asking you for the ball.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "How do you know? I know. I can tell. It's one of my powers.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Well, you didn't know.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "With me? You faked with me? You faked with me? No. You faked it? Yes. I faked it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act? Not bad, huh?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming? Fake, fake, fake, fake.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "She faked.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "The woman had an orgasm under false pretenses. That's sexual perjury.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "You know, I heard her screaming from my apartment. She woke me up a few times.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "How did she do it? She's like Meryl Streep, this woman.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "I know how to press those buttons, buddy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Have you ever, you know, faked it? Yeah, sometimes. Really, like when? If we went to a Broadway show, if we had really good seats.", "c": ["George", "Renee"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "You know, I faked it. What? Yeah. You faked it? Why would you do that? Well, you know, if it's enough already, and I just wanna get some sleep.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Bad peach? It's terrible! Did you get that at Joe's? Of course I got it at Joe's.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "You're returning used fruit? Jerry, this peach is subpar. I want restitution.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Hey, you got a bad peach, that's an act of God. He makes the peaches. I sell the peaches. You got a problem, you talk to him.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "But what am I gonna do for fruit?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Are you satisfied? I'm very satisfied. I'm sure if you weren't satisfied, you would say something, wouldn't you? I probably would. Sure. But then again, I'm an enigma.", "c": ["Jerry", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Do you feel the way you feel after the risotto? Well, no. I feel full after the risotto.", "c": ["Jerry", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "God, I love her, Jerry. She's so authentic. You believe everything is actually happening to her. No acting there.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Give me another shot. What? Another shot. I want another shot. You mean...? Yes.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Oh, friendship. Friendship, schmiendship.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "One shot. I could do it. I know I could do it. Half-hour. Give me a half-hour. Okay, 15 minutes. I guarantee you, 15 minutes, I can make it happen.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Well, it's not like after the risotto.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Oh, that Meryl Streep, she's such a phony baloney.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "No, I can't. Maybe you're faking.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "I tried everything. I was talking to him. 'Please wake up. Do something.' They're mysterious little fellows, aren't they?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "You know, it happens to everybody. Happened to Houdini. And he could get out of a trunk with his hands in chains. But he had a problem with that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think it would be easier to bend a spoon mentally than to make that transformation.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "The apples are mealy. The oranges are dry. I don't know what's going on with the papayas.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Hello, Elaine? Patty Lawrence had orgasms. What do you think about that? And I got calls in to six other women. I bet they confirm an orgasm too.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "This fruit isn't for you. What are you talking about? You think I don't know, huh? Mangoes, plantains, plums with the red on the inside? That's Kramer.", "c": ["Joe", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "What? I feel like I got a B12 shot. This is like a taste explosion. What is it? I think it moved. Oh, my God. I think it moved.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "I'm back, baby! I'm back!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "All right, let's go. I'll give you half an hour. What? Come on. Are you serious? Look, Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "You don't think I bought all that. Bought what? No, you're very good. Very good with the moanings and the gyrations.", "c": ["George", "Karen"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Come on. With the, 'Oh, George. Oh, George!' Come on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "The female orgasm, it's kind of like the Batcave. Very few people know where it is. And if you're lucky enough to see it, you probably don't know how you got there and you can't find your way back after you leave.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "Because to men, sex is like a car accident and determining the female orgasm is like being asked: 'What did you see after the car went out of control?' 'I heard a lot of screeching sounds. I remember I was facing the wrong way at one point. And in the end, my body was thrown clear.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 9.05, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Mango"}, {"t": "There's no way that moving in with your parents is a sign that your life is right on track. There's no way that you could fake this even. 'Things are great. I met a terrific girl, I got a great job... and if everything goes according to plan... I'm gonna be moving back in with my parents soon.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "It's like getting busted on a parole violation and thrown back into the slammer. 'In the opinion of the board, you need further rehabilitation, I'm afraid.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "And you go back into that little room of yours, you feel so huge. It's like you could take your bed and just crush it in your hands. You can hold your parents between your fingers. 'Why was I so afraid of you people when I was growing up?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "My father wears his sneakers in the pool. Sneakers.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "My mother has never set foot in a natural body of water.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Listen carefully. My mother has never laughed. Ever. Not a giggle, not a chuckle, not a tee-hee. Never went, 'Ha.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "- A smirk? - Maybe.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "No, no, no. Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'll move in with him. He doesn't let you use the toilet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "- Hey, I got a terrific joke for you. - I'm not interested.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "No, no. It's really funny. - There's these two guy... - Tell it to the audience.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Bologna? Nobody eats bologna anymore. What are you talking about? Have a sandwich.", "c": ["Estelle", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "I don't feel comfortable handing out bologna sandwiches in the building.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "She's one of these low-talkers. You can't hear a word. You're always going, 'Excuse me? What was that?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "It's, like, a puffy shirt. Well, yeah, it's all puffy. Like the pirates used to wear.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "See, I think people wanna look like pirates. It's the right time for it. To be all puffy and devil-may-care, you know.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Jerry nodding and agreeing without hearing Leslie", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Maybe you should take a civil-service test. - I'm not taking a civil-service test.", "c": ["Frank", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Would you believe when I was 18 I had a silver-dollar collection?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You want me to be a mailman?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You know, I couldn't bring myself to spend one of these. I got some kind of a... phobia.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "I do know that I have some kind of a talent, something to offer. I just don't know what it is yet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "I bet that collection would be worth a lot of money today.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "I don't like this waiter. Look at him. He sees us. Doesn't wanna come over.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry. Look what you've done. You've spilled my bag.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "It's just that I'm here with my parents and my mother wants me to take a civil-service test and to tell you the truth, I don't even think I'd pass it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Your hands. - What about them? They're quite exquisite.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "I don't get it. Me neither. - What is it? - I don't know. They're hands.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "What, are you kidding? The knuckles are all out of proportion. You got hair there. Where do you get off comparing your hands to mine?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "This is a one-in-a-million hand. That's what comes from avoiding manual labor your whole life.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You could've damaged my hands! - What? It's just a toy.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You can look at them, but do not touch them.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Oh, those are nice. You know, I never noticed this before. They're smooth. Creamy. Delicate yet masculine.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Oven mitts?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "It's all I could find.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Since I what? - Agreed to wear the puffy shirt.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "This? - Yeah. I agreed to wear this? - Yeah, yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "I mean, look at it. It looks ridiculous.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "This pirate trend she's come up with, Jerry... This is gonna be the new look for the '90s. You're gonna be the first pirate.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "But I don't wanna be a pirate.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "I always talk about your hands, how they're so soft and milky white.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Don't hand them to me with the point facing out!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "All right, please. Please, I cannot have this constant bickering. Stress is very damaging to the epidermis.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "I have an important photo session in the morning. My hands have got to be in tiptop shape.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Now, that's a great-looking shirt. Aye, captain. Yeah.", "c": ["TV Person", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Why are you wearing this now? - Why am I wearing it now? I'll tell you why I'm wearing it now. Because the low-talker asked me to, that's why.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You can't come out dressed like that. You're all puffed up. You look like the Count of Monte Cristo.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You look like you're gonna swing in on a chandelier.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "I've never seen hands like these before. They're so soft and milky white.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Ray McKigney. He was it. The most exquisite hands you've ever seen. Oh, he had it all. What happened to him? Tragic story, I'm afraid.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "He could've had any woman in the world... but none could match the beauty of his own hand. And that became his one true love.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "He was not master of his domain.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "The muscles became so strained with overuse that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position and he was left with nothing but a claw.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Towards the end, his hands became so frozen he was unable to manipulate utensils and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You don't have to worry about me. I won a contest.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You look kind of like a pirate. Like a pirate.", "c": ["Bryant Gumbel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You could be the pirate comedian.", "c": ["Bryant Gumbel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "I think it's the stupidest shirt I've ever seen, to be perfectly honest with you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You bastard! - Did you hear that? - That I heard.", "c": ["Leslie", "Bryant Gumbel", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "If you talked this loud to begin with, I wouldn't be in this costume.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "They said I had the most beautiful hands they ever saw except for this McKigney guy. This girl gave me her number. I got it all. I'm busting. Jerry, I'm busting.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Nice shirt.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Have you completely lost your mind? You look like a complete idiot. I wouldn't wipe my...", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Hot, hot. - I'm sorry. - McKigney had a few good years.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Some of those heckles were really uncalled for. 'Avast ye, matey'? What the hell does that mean? 'Twenty degrees off the starboard side. It's a Spanish galleon.' There's no comeback for that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Puffy shirt. Puffy shirt.", "c": ["Homeless Person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Can you spare a little change for an old buccaneer?", "c": ["Homeless Person"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "You know, it's really not a bad-looking shirt.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "Why can't I do that? Just once I would like to have the guts... you know, to make that judgment. Someone mumbles something, and you go, 'Your fault. I'm not sorry, because it's your fault.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "The Puffy Shirt"}, {"t": "There's no way that moving in with your parents is a sign that your life is right on track. There's no way that you could fake this even. 'Things are great. I met a terrific girl, I got a great job...and if everything goes according to plan...I'm gonna be moving back in with my parents soon.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "It's like getting busted on a parole violation and thrown back into the slammer. 'In the opinion of the board, you need further rehabilitation, I'm afraid.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "You can hold your parents between your fingers. 'Why was I so afraid of you people when I was growing up?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "My father wears his sneakers in the pool. Sneakers.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "My mother has never laughed. Ever. Not a giggle, not a chuckle, not a tee-hee. Never went, 'Ha.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "A smirk? Maybe.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "He doesn't let you use the toilet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Careful. Careful with the suitcases. We just painted.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Hey, I got a terrific joke for you. / I'm not interested. / No, no. It's really funny. / Tell it to the audience.", "c": ["Frank Costanza", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Bologna? Nobody eats bologna anymore.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "I don't feel comfortable handing out bologna sandwiches in the building.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "She's one of these low-talkers. You can't hear a word. You're always going, 'Excuse me? What was that?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Yeah? Yeah. / Yeah. Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "Leslie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "It's, like, a puffy shirt. Well, yeah, it's all puffy. Like the pirates used to wear.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "I think people wanna look like pirates. It's the right time for it. To be all puffy and devil-may-care, you know.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "You ever seen a silver dollar? / Yes, I've seen a silver dollar.", "c": ["Frank Costanza", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Would you believe when I was 18 I had a silver-dollar collection? / I couldn't bring myself to spend one of these. I got some kind of a phobia.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry. Look what you've done. You've spilled my bag.", "c": ["George", "Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Your hands. / What about them? / They're quite exquisite.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "What, are you kidding? The knuckles are all out of proportion. You got hair there. Where do you get off comparing your hands to mine?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "This is a one-in-a-million hand. That's what comes from avoiding manual labor your whole life.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Are you crazy?! Are you crazy?! You could've damaged my hands! / What? It's just a toy.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "You can look at them, but do not touch them.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "They're smooth. Creamy. Delicate yet masculine.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Oven mitts? / It's all I could find.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Since I what? / Agreed to wear the puffy shirt. / What are you talking about? You said that you would agree to wear the puffy shirt on the Today show.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "I don't know. I couldn't understand a word she said. I was just nodding.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "But I don't wanna be a pirate.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "No, you never said milky white. / I said milky white!", "c": ["George", "Estelle Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Don't hand them to me with the point facing out! / I'm sorry. / You're sorry?", "c": ["George", "Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "I cannot have this constant bickering. Stress is very damaging to the epidermis.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "In two months' time, everybody's gonna be wearing the pirate look.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "You look like the Count of Monte Cristo.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "You look like you're gonna swing in on a chandelier.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Ray McKigney. / Ray. / He was it. / The most exquisite hands you've ever seen. Oh, he had it all.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "He was not master of his domain.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Towards the end, his hands became so frozen he was unable to manipulate utensils and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him.", "c": ["Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "I won a contest.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "You could put a patch over an eye. You could be the pirate comedian.", "c": ["Bryant Gumbel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "I think it's the stupidest shirt I've ever seen, to be perfectly honest with you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "You bastard! / That I heard.", "c": ["Leslie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Nice shirt. / What is this? Is this what you wore on the show? / Have you completely lost your mind? / Who's dressing you? You look like a complete idiot.", "c": ["Restaurant Patron", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Hot, hot. / I'm sorry. / McKigney had a few good years.", "c": ["George", "Kramer", "Hand Model Agent"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "'Avast ye, matey'? What the hell does that mean? 'Twenty degrees off the starboard side. It's a Spanish galleon.' There's no comeback for that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "They gave them to Goodwill. / Puffy shirt. Puffy shirt.", "c": ["Kramer", "Homeless Person"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Can you spare a little change for an old buccaneer?", "c": ["Homeless Person"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Why do we always have to say, 'Excuse me' when we can't hear what someone's saying? Why are we so guilty and so...? 'Excuse me. Pardon me. I'm sorry.' Why can't, just once, I go: 'Nope. Not loud enough'?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "Someone mumbles something, and you go, 'Your fault. I'm not sorry, because it's your fault.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Glasses"}, {"t": "To me, government is basically parents for adults. Especially the IRS. The IRS is like Ward and June Cleaver and we're all Wally and the Beaver.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "And your accountant is Eddie Haskell showing you all these neat tricks to get away with stuff.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Then you don't want some wise guy in a suit going: 'You have a very lovely office here, sir.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Because jail is the government's way of sending you to your room.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "And when you meet Whitey and Lumpy in the joint... there's really gonna be something wrong with the Beaver.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sure you'll find something.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Ask your mother. You live with her now, don't you?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "And he said, 'Gabardine?' And I said, 'Yeah.' That was it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Sounds like a jerk. Felt your material, come on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "I think that's what the back of closets are for.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, it's still green.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Barry's sniffing behavior and everyone's reaction to it", "c": ["Barry", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Don't forget to wash your hands before supper.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "This is my ketchup. I bought this ketchup just so I could have as much as I want.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "He doesn't know anything about bras.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "They're made from Lycra spandex. - Get out of here. Lycra spandex?", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in two seconds.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "I know the D is the biggest. I base my whole life on knowing that the D is the biggest.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Here. You think you know everything.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Cups in front, loops in back.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "You got ketchup on it.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Did he use a lot of slang? Did he use the word 'man'?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "They live in the bathroom.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "You're perfect. You're a perfect man.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, I was just curious why you didn't use an exclamation point.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, I mean, if one of your close friends had a baby and I left you a message about it, I would use an exclamation point.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, maybe I don't use my exclamation points as haphazardly as you do.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "I didn't know that I was required to capture the mood of each caller.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Like, the way I'm talking now, I'd put exclamation points on the ends all of these sentences! On this one! And on that one!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, you can put one on this one: I'm leaving!", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "I never heard of a relationship being affected by punctuation.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "George is right. Didn't take you long.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "All right, here. You call him right now, okay? See if he's sniffing right now.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "He went to South America.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Yeah, and they come back with things taped to their large intestine.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "So because of a few bad apples you're gonna impugn an entire continent?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Yes, I'm impugning a continent.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "What kind of snow blower did you get us mixed up with?", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "We set up a sting. You know, like Abscam. Like Abscam, Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "You gonna put on phony beards and dress up like Arab sheiks and sit around in some hotel room?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Tuesday has no feel. Monday has a feel. Friday has a feel. Sunday has a feel.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "I feel Tuesday and Wednesday.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Who made you leader?", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "One more peep out of you, you're out of the operation.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "I might need you to get me a soda.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "I'll have a brewski, Charlie. - The name's Mitch.", "c": ["Kramer", "Bartender"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Yeah, I've been known to drink a beer or two. But then again, I've been known to do a lot of things.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, I suck them down like Coca-Cola.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, here's to feeling good all the time, huh?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "You should try this new dental floss, Glide. It's fantastic. - I use Dentotape.", "c": ["Kramer", "Barry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "You know, you're an idiot. - Why, because I use Dentotape? - Right. Anyone who uses Dentotape is an idiot.", "c": ["Kramer", "Barry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "I'm hip. - Hip to what? - To the whole scene. - What scene? - The bathroom scene.", "c": ["Kramer", "Barry"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Listen, don't take this personally, but when I come back, I'm sitting over there.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "No, no, I don't like it. - What do you mean, you don't like it? - How could you not like it? - I like the thick tape.", "c": ["Newman", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Hey. What kind of nut are you?", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "And from the first time I laid eyes on a brassiere, I was enthralled.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "I picked it up. I studied it. I thought: 'I like this.' I didn't know in what way or on what level, but I knew I wanted to be around brassieres.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, they're more than just underwear to me, Mr. Farkus.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Two cups in the front, two loops in the back, how do they do it?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "If you don't mind, sir, I'll be here at 8.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Farkus, who is this perverted little weasel?", "c": ["Ms. De Granmont"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, I felt that the writing lacked a certain emotion and intensity.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "It was a damp and chilly afternoon, so I decided to put on my sweatshirt!", "c": ["Mr. Lippman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Well, you know how frustrating that can be when you keep putting quarters and quarters into a machine and nothing comes out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Dear Barry, consider this letter the termination of our relationship, effective immediately. Exclamation point.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "What's the matter, you got a cold? - No, man.", "c": ["Pizza Guy", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Mohair. That figures. I'm allergic to mohair.", "c": ["Pizza Guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Not to mention the picture of him on the toilet.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "What do you mean, you felt her material? What? With your fingers, like this? So what? What's so bad about that? Who goes around feeling people's material?", "c": ["Jerry", "Jake"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "What can be gained by feeling a person's material? It's insanity.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Bankruptcy. As in, 'I've taken your money and spent it on drugs.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "Half silk, half cotton, half linen. How can you go wrong?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "It makes sense. Why would an athlete or musician take drugs? They have an interesting job. But an accountant? If ever a job required hallucinogenic support, this is the job.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "'But, Your Honor, I'm an accountant.' Bang. 'Case closed. Bailiff, give this man his peyote and tequila back for the drive home. Sorry to bother you, sir. Terribly sorry.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "The Sniffing Accountant"}, {"t": "At a hospital, the treatment is to lie in a bed. Whatever's wrong with a human being, lie down. Doctor never says, 'Well, your condition isn't as bad as we thought. We want you to kind of lean against a doorjamb for seven to 10 days.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Unless you go to the emergency room... then it's a chair. You've been shot, stabbed, run over: 'Have a seat.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "It's like a local news team in there. The doctor's the anchorman. He's got white hair, he's in charge. The nurse is the feature reporter, you know. You listen to her, but it's always, 'And now, back to your doctor.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "The orderlies come in with food and bedpans. That's like your sports and weather.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Then the baby's head comes out, and I'm screaming. My brother, who's videotaping, turns green. His eyes roll up in his head, and he blacks out. He drops the camera, the camera breaks.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "-And then a doctor says... -Hey, thanks. That's enough.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Suck, suck, suck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Look at that, Jerry, look at that. -Yeah, I looked. I saw it.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "My friend's wife's breasts are out. Why would I be uncomfortable?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "-So how long do they do this? -Year or two. No break? -After that comes the weaning. -After sucking comes weaning? -First sucking, then weaning. -You gotta wean. -Gotta wean. -Must wean.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "You open the door to the car... you walk right into the hospital. You can't beat that spot.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Maybe the baby would like to see the spot. A positive, uplifting message to start his life out with, huh? You can still get a great spot in this city if you apply yourself.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "-Did you give him the room number? -Yeah, 1397. 1937.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "1937, 1937. Excuse me. Do you know where the elevator is? Yeah, it's right around the corner there. 1937.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Oh, God! It's a pig-man. A pig-man!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "I pulled it in perfectly equidistant... from the car in front and behind. -Would you shut up, George?", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "-Me? A godfather? -Yes. Never go against the family, Elaine.", "c": ["Jerry", "Stan", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "I'm talking about a pig-man. I walked in the wrong room, and there he was. -A pig-man? -A pig-man. Half pig, half man.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Elaine, never ask me about my business.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.33, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "So was sacrificing virgins to appease the gods... but we don't do that anymore. -Well, maybe we should.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "That's the guy I told where the elevator was.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "My car!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "A mohel? What the hell is a mohel?... Motels, models... How do you find a mohel?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "What'd you think? It had no face, no personality. It was like a Martian.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Swan dives from 20 floors up, lands right on top. What, do I got a bull's-eye up there? He couldn't move over two feet, huh? Land on the sidewalk, it's city property.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "How about our little Elaine, huh? Attended the finest schools on the eastern seaboard... equestrian competitions, debutante balls. Look at her now. Interviewing mohels.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Pig-man, baby, pig-man. If I have to hear about this pig-man one more time...", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "They're probably creating a whole army of pig warriors.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "I'll tell you something. I wish there were pig-men. Get a few pig-men walking around, suddenly I'm looking a lot better. If someone wanted to fix me up, they could say, 'At least he's no pig-man.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Believe me, there'd be plenty of women going for these pig-men. Whatever the deformity, there's always some group attracted to it. 'That little tail really turns me on.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Perhaps one day when the pig-men roam free, it will be stopped, Kramer. Until then, off with their heads.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Besides, it makes sex more pleasurable. Yeah. So how does that help me?", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "George, you ever see one? Yeah, my roommate in college. Yeah, what'd you think? I got used to it.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Believe me, Jerry, somewhere in this hospital... the anguished oink of pig-man cries out for help.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Wait, George. You got room in the car for the pig-man, huh? The pig-man can take the bus.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "George, if the pig-man had a car, he would give you a ride. How do you know? What if the pig-man had a two-seater?", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Horrible thing. Flew right past the children's wing. All the sick children in the playroom, looking out the window... just traumatized by the incident. Apparently they thought he was flying. You know how children are. 'Oh, look, a man is flying. A man is flying!' And then splat.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "That's where I come in. On 'splat.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Now, of course, I can't help but feel that... had it been a convertible, this whole tragedy might have been averted. But I've never really been the kind of guy to buy a convertible... what with the baldness and everything.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "I just can't help but think... that the hospital is somehow responsible for compensating... the other still-living victim of this horrendous, horrendous tragedy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Well, profit... I think you'll see from the estimate that I'm not really profiting that much. It might be a little high, but...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Listen, you little quack. There was a half man, half pig in that room over there. Now, where is he? Where is he?! Half what? You know what I mean! Pork. Sausage. 'That's all, folks.'", "c": ["Kramer", "Doctor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "I don't know why he asked me to be godfather. We're not close. Because we're on the softball team... I'm pitcher, he's catcher, he thinks we have a special relationship?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Don't they have friends? They're level-jumping on our friendship. Yes, it is level-jumping.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "We're not talking about a manicure. Imagine, this is gonna be his first memory... of his parents just standing there while some stranger... cuts off a piece of his manhood and then serves a catered lunch.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "What was that? Jeez, it scared the hell out of me! I mean, my God, I almost had a heart attack!", "c": ["Mohel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Is the baby gonna cry like that? Is that how he cries... with that loud, sustained, squealing cry? That could pose a problem. Do have any control over your child?", "c": ["Mohel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "I'll be lying in the gutter like a bum, a dog, a mutt, a mongrel, an animal!", "c": ["Mohel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "See where that glass is? See how the glass is near the edge? You've got the whole table to put the glass. Why you chose the absolute edge so half the glass is hanging off the table. You breathe, and it falls over.", "c": ["Mohel"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Two years later, you're barefoot... you step on broken glass and kill yourself! Is that what you want? I don't think that's what you want. Do you?", "c": ["Mohel"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "People, people. Compose yourself. This is a bris! We're performing a bris here, not a burlesque show. This is not a school play. This is not a baggy-pants farce. This is a bris!", "c": ["Mohel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "I could have been a kosher butcher like my brother. The money's good. It's got a union with benefits. And cows don't have families. You make a mistake with a cow, you move on with your life.", "c": ["Mohel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "That damn mohel! He circumcised my finger. -The mohel circumcised my finger. -You flinched.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Another great spot in front of the hospital. In an emergency yet! How lucky are you, huh? Is that unbelievable? How unbelievable is that, huh?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't Shaky the Mohel. Nice circumcision, but it's not supposed to be a finger.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "One more peep, and I'll slice you like a smoked sturgeon.", "c": ["Mohel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "I'll get you for this. This is my business, my life! No one ruins it for me, no one!", "c": ["Mohel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "You really do the worst Godfather I've ever heard. You're not even close.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "It's a '76 Chevy Impala. They stole it right in front of the hospital. I saw the guy drive off in it. Well, he's about 5 feet tall... hairless... pink complexion. Looks like a pig.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "And he's not a pig-man, is he? No, he's not. He's just a fat little mental patient.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Don't ever go against the family, Jerry.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.58, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "To me, what's really amazing, that for every job that there is in the world... there's someone willing to do it. Someone goes, 'I will stand in the tunnel breathing exhaust... watching the cars go by, making sure everything's okay.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Someone goes, 'I will work behind the elephant with the big shovel.' Doctors go, 'Yes, I will confine myself... to one particularly objectionable part of the human body... all day, every day. I will do it.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "I think people that are unemployed are not really unable to find work... they're just easily disgusted. 'Yes, I'm starving, and my family has no clothing or shelter... but I'm not cleaning that up.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The Bris"}, {"t": "Professional tennis... I don't understand the shushing. Why are they always shushing? Don't the players know that we're there?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Should we duck behind the seats so they don't see us watching them?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "To me, tennis is basically just Ping-Pong... and the players are standing on the table. That's all it is.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "And that goofy scoring. You win one point, all of a sudden you're up by 15. Two points, 30-love. 30-love.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Sounds like an English call girl. 'That'll be 30, love. And could you be a little quieter next time, please?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Are these seats unbelievable, or what?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Twenty-five? You don't have anything higher? What, are you on Mercury? I need higher.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "This has PABA in it. I need PABA-free. You got a problem with PABA? I have a problem with PABA.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "You don't even know what PABA is. I know enough to stay away from it.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "You're bringing a date to a party? No good? A party's a bad date situation.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "You could be with J. Edgar Hoover. You don't wanna sit and talk with Hoover all night. You want to circulate.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Why'd you pick Hoover? Is he that interesting to talk to? Well, with the law enforcement and the cross-dressing... seems like an interesting guy.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "That woman is absolutely stunning. Who, the Croat? No, not the Croat. The lineswoman.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "That is the most beautiful lineswoman I've ever seen. Yeah, she's a BL. BL? Beautiful lineswoman.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Jerry? Jerry? [No response - Jerry is transfixed by the lineswoman]", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Why does everything have to have a social component?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "See, the stagecoach. Now, that would've been a good situation for me. I'm in the coach, and the driver's way up there on the stage.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Hey! There's George. Holy cow. It's a scorcher.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Boy, I bet you that guy could cover a lot of court. Hey, buddy, they got a new invention. It's called a napkin.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Yeah, a lot of people read to relax. Not me. You know what I do?", "c": ["Cab Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "The jumble. Hey, do you make a book of jumbles?", "c": ["Cab Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have to be honest with you. I'm going deaf. Going deaf? What?", "c": ["Elaine", "Cab Driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Hey, what about a hearing aid? Am I fearing AIDS? Oh, yeah, sure. Who isn't? But, you know, you gotta live your life.", "c": ["Cab Driver", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "I'll psych myself into it like those people that walk across the hot coals. But they're not mocked and humiliated when they get to the other side.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "If you go through that wall and become one of those guys... I'll be left here on this side. Take me with you. I can't.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "What are you gonna say? I don't know. 'Hi.' You think you're going to the other side with 'hi'? You're not gonna make it.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "749 Bleeker. The party's Hanks. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks? After me, you're picking up Tom Hanks? I love him.", "c": ["Dispatcher", "Cab Driver", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "So I guess your hearing goes in and out, huh?", "c": ["Cab Driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "I think you made that whole thing up. Yeah, yeah. I know your type. You're too good to make conversation with someone like me.", "c": ["Cab Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "And Mr. Tom Hanks... May I say he, too, would be disgusted by your behavior.", "c": ["Cab Driver"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Oh, like that's some kind of a cool job. I know your type. Think you're too good for everyone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Oh, well... What, are you deaf? Bingo.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "When I was 8, I had a deaf cousin who lived with us for about a year. Of course, you know, I haven't been able to do it in a while.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "When I shoo squirrels away, I always say, 'Get out of here.' I never, ever throw things at them and try to injure them... like other people.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "And when I see freaks in the street, I never, ever stare at them. And yet I'm careful not to look away. See, because I wanna make the freaks feel comfortable.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "That's nice for the freaks.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "I think perhaps you've overlooked one of the key aspects of this activity. It's ball boys, not ball men. There are no ball men.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "I think he's right. I've never seen a ball man. Well, there ought to be ball men.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "You wanna be a ball man, go ahead. Break the ball barrier.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "He was at the snack bar eating a hot fudge sundae. He had it all over his face. He's wearing that chocolate on his face like a beard.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "You're giving me the 'it's not you, it's me' routine? I invented 'it's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them, not me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "All right. George, it's you. You are damn right it's me.", "c": ["Gwen", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Well, apparently word's out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "And the announcers, they made a couple of cracks about you. That you had ice cream all over your face. They were talking about how funny you looked.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Well, I'll tell you, it wasn't a pretty sight.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "She sees you with hot fudge on your face and ends it? You think she'd be that superficial? Why not? I would be.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "One-1000. Two-1000. Three-1000... I heard you really inhaled that thing.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "If a couple breaks up with plans to go to a neutral place, who withdraws? What's the etiquette?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "She's the breaker. He's the breakee. He needs to get on with his life.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "He's the loser. She's the victor. To the victor belong the spoils.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "'To the victor go the spoils.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "I was just gonna wander the streets.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "So I've got ice cream all over my face. There were no napkins there. Whoever is responsible for stocking that concession stand... cost me a relationship.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Is this considered signing? Do you do this when you ask for the check?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "'It's not you. It's me.'", "c": ["Laura (lip reading)"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "We bring her to the party... and she tells me what Gwen is saying about me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "She's not a novelty act, George... that you hire out for weddings and bar mitzvahs.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Look, it's a skill, just like juggling. She probably enjoys showing it off.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Laura, George was wondering if... Sure. I'll do it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Laura"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "You got a problem with 6?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Hey, pops, isn't there a better way to spend your twilight years? Well, I may be old, but I'm spry.", "c": ["Ball boy coordinator", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "See, I was saying 'six,' but she thought I was saying 'sex.' We straightened the whole thing out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "'Six' and 'sex' are close. It's two completely different sounds. And:", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "They said they never saw anybody go after balls with such gusto.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "If we could just harness this power and use it for our own personal gain... there'd be no stopping us.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Let me use her once. Can't do it, Newman.", "c": ["Newman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "When you control the mail, you control information.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry. You'll have to forgive me. I can't hear a damn thing. Went to a rock concert last night at the Garden.", "c": ["Cab Driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "It's a heavy metal group, Metalli-something. Ca. What? Ca.", "c": ["Cab Driver", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Some woman's idea of a joke.", "c": ["Cab Driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Hey, this is my friend you helped become the first ball man. Congratulations.", "c": ["Jerry", "Laura"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "She doesn't know what she's talking about.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "But you should try and find out everything you possibly can. In fact, I'll even stay all the way over on the other side of the room... just so there's no chance of me overhearing anything.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "'Hi, Gwen.' 'Hi, Tide.' High tide? 'Hi, Todd.'", "c": ["Laura", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "'That's interesting. I love carrots, but I hate carrot soup. And I hate peas, but I love pea soup.'", "c": ["Laura (lip reading)"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "'Why don't you stick around, and we can sleep together.' What? 'You want me to sleep with you?'", "c": ["Laura", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "'I don't wanna sleep alone.' And she says... Oh, boy. 'Love to.'", "c": ["Laura"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "All right, that's it. You get rid of me, now the two of you are gonna sleep together?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "No, I didn't. I said 'sweep.' Let's sweep together, like with a broom. Cleaning up.", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Cut it. Would you stop signing?! They said 'sweep together,' idiots. Not 'sleep together.'", "c": ["George", "Gwen"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Look, I know how to sign. My eye! My eye!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Thus ends the great ball man experiment.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Hey, how about that ball man injuring Monica Seles? Wasn't that something? I'm deaf.", "c": ["Reporter", "Laura"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "Unless the waiter's not too sharp. Then you gotta total it up. 'I want the check.' They come over, 'Do you want the check?' 'No, I want to be pen pals. Can't you see what I'm doing here? I'm trying to be cool and impress people.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Lip Reader"}, {"t": "I had glasses when I was 10. Anybody beat that? Anybody got them younger? -Seven. -Seven? Two?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Anybody born with glasses? Come out... Actually come out of the birth canal and go: 'That was a hell of a delivery, I'll tell you that. Can I clean these? Does anybody have one of those little cloths? I was just born. They're a little... A little smudgy.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "They put real blueberries in this. What kind did you get? Coffee. They grind up the coffee beans and put it in!", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "If you wanna taste mine, you don't have to offer me some of yours.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "This is so f*****g good! Jerry! Oh, I'm sorry.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "This guy from my old neighborhood, Lloyd Braun. He's a big adviser to Mayor Dinkins. He thinks he's so cool.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Yeah, there was a fire in my apartment. A fire. There's a lot of major chicks in this place, huh?", "c": ["George", "Lloyd"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Something wrong with your arm? Yeah, actually. I bumped my elbow on a desk and injured something... and now it sort of moves involuntarily.", "c": ["Lloyd", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "That's a bitch, huh?", "c": ["Lloyd"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Boy, he is really cute. He's a jerk. He's gone, George.", "c": ["Elaine", "George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "I did this thing on the Ottoman Empire: What, was this a whole empire based on putting your feet up?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "I was having lunch and I bit down on the fork. It's hard to believe with so much biting experience... a person could still make a mistake like that.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "You're getting heavy. What? You look like you put on 5... 10 pounds.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "I'll tell you something else... you're looking a little chunky yourself. Me? Yeah.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I've gained 7 pounds! I've gained 8! I told you.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Maybe it's the Oreos. I don't eat Oreos. You don't eat Oreos? The way you break them open... You're practically having sex with them.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "What about me? You? You're getting old.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Maybe your yogurt isn't so nonfat. Oh, guess again, tubby.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Hey, I'll tell you what, chubs. If that yogurt has fat in it, I will put myself on an all-yogurt diet... for a week.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Well, let's start the insanity. Giddyup.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Tap-dancing. Anyone can tap-dance. It's those shoes. Are you kidding? They practice for years, those people.", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Tommy Tune is very tall. That helps. It makes him lankier.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "What's the matter with you?", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Your arm moves like this? I've never seen your arm move like this. Me either. Well, it comes and goes.", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "You discussed George with the mayor of New York? Dinkins was talking about you. He was discussing you!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Every word out of my son's mouth now is f**k, f**k, f**k. You know what he said to me five minutes ago? 'Where's my f*****g cupcake?'", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "No f*****g way.", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "I wouldn't hear of it. I said, 'Nice try, granny' and I sent her to the back of the line.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "I've been waiting for something like this my whole life, and it's finally here!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Hey, fatso, I got a 90 in biology.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "This is Mr. Giuliani's blood. We're doing a cholesterol workup on it.", "c": ["Lab technician"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "You can't take that chemist out. Why not? Because she's like the jury. She's gotta be sequestered.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "It smells. Smells bad. Smells really bad. That's enough. What? With the smells.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "My whole life is a lie.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "What if we get married? We'll always have that between us. Already you're marrying this guy?", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Of course. He's a funny f****r.", "c": ["Matthew"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "He tells him what soap to use.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "What the f**k are you doing, you little piece of s**t?!", "c": ["Matthew"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "One of my campaign themes would be... that everybody should wear nametags to make the city friendlier. Nametags, huh? Everybody would know everybody. It would be like a small town.", "c": ["Elaine", "Lloyd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Then we went to his apartment, and I sat on one of his chairs... and it broke. And he says, 'Boy, you're a lot of woman.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "So people can go around... saying hello to one another. Oh, I see. So you go, 'Hey, you know who I saw wilding today? Herb!'", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Fat!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Obviously a very sick person. A very immature person. A person who has no regard for wasting other people's valuable time.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Rudy Giuliani, who underwent a physical last week... received some startling news today... when his cholesterol count turned out to be a whopping 375.", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Nonfat yogurt? Oh, my God. They got Giuliani, and he doesn't know it!", "c": ["Giuliani", "Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "What kind of an idiot thinks anybody would be interested in that idea? I don't think it's so bad. People should wear nametags. Everyone would be a lot friendlier. 'Hello, Sam.' 'How you doing, Joe?'", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "It was good! I was enjoying it. Had to interfere, couldn't leave well enough alone. I will get even with you for this. You can count on it.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Apparently some blood spilled into Mr. Giuliani's test tube... causing his cholesterol count... to be 150 points higher than was initially reported.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "Thanks for ruining my daddy's business, you fat f**k.", "c": ["Matthew"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "There's nothing more fun than cursing when you're a kid. I mean, it's like getting the keys to the car. You're doing something you're not supposed to do.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "And there's nothing less fun than when you're an adult... and having to use those wholesome curses: Fudge! Sugar! Consarnit!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "What the hell is 'consarnit' anyway? You stub your toe and say, 'Consarnit'... you might as well say, 'Yippee!'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "If you've been to a foreign country, the first thing you learn... are the curse words. Right? You travel halfway around the world to experience some exotic civilization... the first thing you ask is, 'How do they say doodie here?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "The Non Fat Yogurt"}, {"t": "The old-fashioned barbershop is, unfortunately, becoming a thing of the past. Now, what went wrong? Well, first of all, he needs a $20,000 chair to make a $3 tip.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I say cut back on the chair, update the magazines.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Why do barbers always display that license? There's no laws in hair cutting.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "But show customers the back of their head. That's the one law.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I don't want to see the back of my head. Why do I want to see something that I won't see at any other time?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "When I buy pants, two salesmen don't lift me up by the legs and go: 'How do you like the crotch?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "If I wanted to see everything, I would've been a fly.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Well, a lot of people consider me, uh, small and prestigious.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I enjoy understanding.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Maybe he was going to say, 'Of course, I have to check with my associates.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "'I want you to have this job, of course... the Board of Directors is under indictment and will be serving time.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "'I want you to have this job, of course... sodomy is a prerequisite.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "So if you call to ask if you have the job, you might lose the job. And if I don't call... You might have the job, but you'll never know it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Of course. Wouldn't let that butcher cut my hair.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I've been going to him for 12 years. I can't switch. I'd hurt his feelings.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I could raise enough money to cure polio.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I believe they've had a cure for polio for quite some time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Polio?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Good. Of course...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "You my favorite customer. You been with me for so long. You're so loyal.", "c": ["Enzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "You tell the joke, I cut the hair.", "c": ["Enzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Gino, you've outdone yourself this time. This is the best haircut I've ever had.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "He massacred you! I know. You look like you're five years-old.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "What if I shampoo? Sometimes a shampoo helps.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "He loves me. He says I'm his most loyal customer. Plus, he's right there on the corner. I'd have to pass him every day when I go by.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I can't, I can't. I'd break his heart.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "No way my Gino did that. It's an Enzo.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I show up. What do you mean, you show up? I show up. I pretend I have the job.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "If not, by the time he comes back, I'm ensconced.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Well, you'd be embarrassed and humiliated in front of a large group of people and have to walk out in shame with your tail between your legs.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Yeah. So?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I forgot who I was dealing with.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I wasn't aware that uh... Mike! This is George Costanza. He's starting here today.", "c": ["Receptionist", "Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Welcome aboard. Thanks, Mike. Nice to be aboard.", "c": ["Mike", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Oh, leave Jack alone. Jack's got enough problems.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I like to feel cozy. I have a very small apartment. I like to feel tucked in, nestled in. Love to be nestled.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Yes, of course. The Pensky file. Can't wait to sink my teeth into that. Wow, that Pensky.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Well, we'll straighten him out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "We're like a family. In fact, yesterday was Grace's birthday. She's such a sweet woman, so we had a little party with cake and champagne, and... I made a toast.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Sure. I fix. But you gotta make sure you no tell anybody. He's a little crazy. I don't know what he do if he find out I touch Jerry's hair.", "c": ["Gino"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "So, I love that Edward Scissorhands! That's the best movie I ever seen. Again with the Edward Scissorhand?", "c": ["Gino", "Enzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "How can you have a hand like a scissor, eh? Show me one person who's got a hand like a scissor!", "c": ["Enzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Hey, it's a beautiful dream. I love to be this man.", "c": ["Gino"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Did you ever think about what you're going to do on the toilet, hmm? What are you going to do on the toilet?", "c": ["Enzo"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I'd like to have shoehorn hands.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Pizza man was here. Maybe some fall off. He's going bald.", "c": ["Gino"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "It looks very familiar.", "c": ["Enzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "He knows my hair. You're just imagining things. He doesn't know a thing.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Look at him! He's grotesque! Ya think? Do I think? He's repugnant.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Once I find a barber, I stick with him. I almost went to barber school. I always felt I had a talent for it.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Not everybody like Newman. So loyal. Yeah, just the way that I was raised. I'm special.", "c": ["Enzo", "Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I don't mind if somebody's funny, but I no like the funny business.", "c": ["Enzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "How you like a free haircut for six months? What's the catch? You're gonna get me a sample of Jerry's hair.", "c": ["Enzo", "Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "That job sounds like it might be worth... a year's free haircuts. And a comb.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Mr. Pensky? Of the Pensky file? Costanza? Arthur Pensky.", "c": ["George", "Pensky"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "In college, they used to call me the Little Bulldog.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Yeah, you are Pensky material.", "c": ["Pensky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I don't believe this. There's no hair in this thing! I've never seen a person that didn't have at least one hair in a brush. Unbelievable. Nothing!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I tell ya, this... Scissorhands is a hell of a barber. Gotta go! Oh, gee, I... I dropped a nickel.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Io voglio vendetta!", "c": ["Enzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "He is, um... He's a high school graduate. Equivalency. A high school equivalency program graduate.", "c": ["Auctioneer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "He likes, uh... fruit. And, uh, he just got um... a haircut.", "c": ["Auctioneer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Do I hear five bucks?", "c": ["Auctioneer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Don't lie! I know it was you! I get a sample of your hair. I match them up! Sample? Newman!", "c": ["Enzo", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I'm gonna kill the both of you!", "c": ["Enzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "I thought you would've taken the larger office. Oh. Oh. Really? I guess I didn't make that clear when I hired you.", "c": ["Tuttle", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Well, bear in mind, I am in the smaller office.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "You are aware that, uh, Pensky is interested in me. You're not Pensky material.", "c": ["George", "Tuttle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Well, we'll just see about that. Ta-ta! Tut-tle.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "What I was going to say was, 'Now, you are aware that our Board of Directors has been indicted. Myself included. And we're prohibited from doing business until the investigation is completed.' So, obviously, we would have no use for you.", "c": ["Tuttle"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "Excuse me, but Mr. Costanza's car is being towed.", "c": ["Receptionist"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "The Barber"}, {"t": "With a serial killer loose, seems like the safest thing is to be the neighbor. They never kill the neighbor. The neighbor always survives to do the interview afterwards, right? 'Uh, he was kind of quiet.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "They're never disturbed by the sounds of murdering. Just stereo. Chain saws, people screaming, fine. Just keep the music down.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Here's a woman that's hard to disappoint. I guess she's only upset when she finds out he's stopped killing people. 'You know, sometimes I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Eight years isn't such a long streak. It isn't? No. I haven't vomited in 13 years.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Get out! Not since June 29, 1980. You remember the date? Yes. Because my previous vomit was also June 29, 1972.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "That's why during the '80 vomit, I was yelling to George, 'Can you believe it? I'm vomiting on June 29th again.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "He just has the same name as one of the worst serial killers in the history of New York.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Guess you better keep on his good side.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Yeah, I wouldn't sleep with my back to him if I were you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "he's a good shaver and he hasn't thrown up in eight years.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Ask him to change it. You can't ask a person to change their name. Why not? Would you change yours? If someone asked me nicely.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "I'm Claude Seinfeld.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Well, you know why Rifkin was a serial killer? Because he was adopted. Just like Son of Sam was adopted. So apparently, adoption leads to serial killing.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "He likes a date to see him with a friend, so she can get a window into his non-date personality. I've looked through that window and screamed at him to shut the blinds.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "So it's like going to Idaho and eating carrots. I like carrots, but I'm in Idaho, I want a potato.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "You just said that you said it. Sweetheart, I was exaggerating.", "c": ["Jodi", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "I'm learning a lot about you tonight, George.", "c": ["Jodi"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "You know, it's like you never see a really attractive woman getting a traffic ticket. How can you say that? My sister got a ticket last week. Are you saying she's not attractive?", "c": ["George", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Well, I tried brushing my teeth by holding the brush and moving my head from side to side. It didn't work.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Did you see the way that he was eating? Yeah, he's disgusting.", "c": ["Jodi", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "I have to tell you, I really don't like him. Yeah, me either. It's just I hate that type. Ah, he's a bad seed.", "c": ["Jodi", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "The second time I sent the noodles back... I thought she made a face. I didn't see a face. I thought I saw a face.", "c": ["George", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "What a cool name, Deion. If I were going to change my name, I'd go with Deion. Deion Benes? Well, as a woman, it makes no sense.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "O.J.! O.J. Rifkin! Oh! You don't even use a name, it's just initials. Oh, please, please, change your name to O.J. It would be so great!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Sex was fabulous. So? I want the massage!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "She said that? Yes. She told you she doesn't like me? Yes. What were her exact-- 'I don't like him.'", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "But believe me, if she's getting traffic tickets, she's not that good-looking!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "You vomited in 1987. Oh, no. That was the dry heaves.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "I am looser than creamed corn.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "My hailing technique is unmatched. See, I get the wrist going side to side and boom! Cabs are crashing into themselves to just pick me up.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "But first, she sets the mood perfectly with this New Age music played over ocean sounds. Then she lays you out on this table, and she proceeds to rub oil over your entire body. And she rubs long and deep.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Jerry, she rubs with love.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "The massages are out! They're out! Why? Because if I can't get one, you're not getting one!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Don't you ever talk about her like that! Yeah, but why--? That's final!", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "You're very normal. You're totally normal. Who's this? That's my mother. Oh, yeah. I see the resemblance. No, there's no resemblance. Yeah, there is, right here, you see-- Elaine, I was adopted.", "c": ["Elaine", "Joel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Come on, just look at me, huh? Now tell me I'm not Kramer.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Would Joel Rifkin report to the stadium office. Joel Rifkin, telephone.", "c": ["Stadium Announcer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "He's not the murderer.", "c": ["Stadium crowd"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "And then the game-winning field goal went over the net and into the crowd, and I dove over three rows! My back, it's killing me! It's killing me, Jerry! Well, did you get the ball?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Yes! Yes! Everybody has to like me! I must be liked!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "I have never met a normal guy named Stuart.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "In college, I sat next to an Alex in art history. And he was always drinking coffee, and after every sip, he would go, 'Ahh!' I mean, every two seconds, 'Ahh!' And he would take, like, 40 sips, and after every one, 'Ahh!' I had to drop the class.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "No. No, this isn't good. I can't do this. Why? What's wrong? I can't. No. Yes, you can. No, I can't.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jodi"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Who is more important to you, her or me? I like you, she doesn't. Who you gonna pick?", "c": ["Karen", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Well, now I hate you! That, I'm used to.", "c": ["Karen", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Ned's a guy who buys irregular underwear.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Little Stuart Rifkin likes to go shopping with his mother.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "You're a massage teaser.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "I don't submit to forcible massage.", "c": ["Jodi"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Jerry... this woman hates me so much I'm starting to like her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "She just dislikes me so much... it's irresistible.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "A woman that hates me this much comes along once in a lifetime.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "The Swedish are very big massagers, you know. They like the Swedish meatballs, Swedish massage. They like having meat in their hands, these people.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "For some reason. But it's weird. Because they have a high suicide rate. They're rubbing each other's necks all the time. For a neutral country, they seem kind of tense.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "Like having chocolate rubbed all over your face. You want to go, 'Excuse me. I think you missed a spot.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Masseuse"}, {"t": "You can always tell what was the best year of your father's life. Because they freeze that clothing style and just ride it out to the end.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "It's not like they don't continue shopping. It's just they somehow manage to find new old clothes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Every father is like this fashion time capsule. It's like they should be on a pedestal... with someone next to them going, 'This was 1965.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "What men need is a place to shop where you go in... check your pants at the door and walk around in your underwear.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Then you'd really have to lie to the salesman. 'Need some help?' 'No, just getting some air.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "How would you describe the smell in this house? Dandruff?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Dandruff, kasha, mothballs... cheap carpeting. It's potpourri, really.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "These aren't candies, are they? Did you use those? These are guest soaps.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Well, I'm a guest.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Now my parents are gonna know I had people over.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "This is a party? Not anymore.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Whoa, boy, there's always one at every party, huh?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Winona's gonna be there? Yeah. And she broke up with the vitamin guy.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "My parents don't read. They'll wonder what a book is doing on the table.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "You know what would make a great coffee-table book? A coffee-table book about coffee tables.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Get it?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Like a history of coffee tables. Celebrities and their coffee tables.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "It's a natural. This is a story that must be told.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "This stop is famous for its gyros. You want one?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Well, they got a stand right out on the platform. The gyros are cooked, wrapped and ready to go. Three dollars, no change.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "All right. But no bites.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "To highlight the programs... you plan to watch.", "c": ["TV Guide fanatic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "It's just I've never seen... a beautiful lady reading the Guide... so far away from a TV.", "c": ["TV Guide fanatic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Guess your boyfriend will have to catch the next train.", "c": ["TV Guide fanatic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Maybe I should get Elaine something. Why? Well, I didn't drive her home. Plus, I give her a gift in front of Winona... how does that hurt me?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "The Indian? Yeah, you know, kind of a peace offering. It's cute.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "you could have watched six hours of Lucy. There's I Love Lucy... The Lucy Show... Here's Lucy.", "c": ["TV Guide fanatic"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "They don't make these anymore. The work is all done by hand. It takes years and years.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "You guys are obviously from Manhattan. Well, he is. I live around the corner. Really? I didn't think any cool guys lived in this neighborhood.", "c": ["Store clerk", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Well, they do now. The neighborhood's changing.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Well, we're collectors. We see objects of great beauty... and we must have them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Bluffed you out, jack. Pair of deuces.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "I don't need a reason to give gifts. It's my nature. I love to make people happy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Let's bury the hatchet. We smokem peace pipe.", "c": ["Jerry reading card"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Are you out of your mind? It's kitschy. Winona is a Native American.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "She is?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "You've got very unusual taste.", "c": ["Winona"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "The combination must have just flown out of my head. It's a mental block.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "No, that's me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "You don't see too many guys your age... who keep baby pictures of themselves around. I like it.", "c": ["George's date"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "It's consistent with the rest of the house. Yes, it is consistent. I've tried to maintain a consistent feel throughout the house.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's got the magic grip. How do you think I bowled that 220 today, huh?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "You wanna lug it uptown, it's yours.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Why must I know? Because I'm Chinese? You think I know where all the Chinese restaurants are? Oh, ask honorable Chinaman for location of restaurant.", "c": ["Chinese mailman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Oh, hello, American Joe, which way to hamburger/hot-dog stand?", "c": ["Chinese mailman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "I'm not allowed to ask a Chinese person where a Chinese restaurant is? I mean, aren't we all getting a little too sensitive?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Somebody asks me which way is Israel, I don't fly off the handle.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Is there anything wrong with getting a receipt at a tollbooth?", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Where's the TV Guide? I'm missing TV Guide. Volume 41, number 31.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "How could you let her take the TV Guide?! He collects them.", "c": ["Estelle Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "The nerve of that woman. Walking into my house, stealing my collectibles.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "A prophylactic rubber? What is this doing on my bed?", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "You were having sex on our bed? Yes. Who told you you could have sex in our bed?", "c": ["Frank Costanza", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Well, my bed is too small.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "I'm gone two weeks, and you turn our house... into Bourbon Street?", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "You're grounded.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "You can't ground me. I'm a grown man.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "You wanna live here... you respect the rules of our house. You're grounded!", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "I arranged for the appropriate accommodations.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "From who? One of those guys. What guys? You know, the guys... that they sell the tickets to the sold-out events.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "That's Al Roker. They're both chubby weathermen.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "I get Dom DeLuise and Paul Prudhomme mixed up too.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Kramer, it is such a dumb idea. I'd be totally embarrassed... I would be embarrassed to bring it up.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "And on the cover is a built-in coaster.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "How do you just walk into a house and take a TV Guide? How does she expect you to watch TV? Am I just supposed to turn it on... and wander aimlessly around the dial?", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "It's a bouquet of paper from her TV Guide. That's my TV Guide, ripped to shreds!", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Gyro.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "You mean, like an Indian giver?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that term.", "c": ["Winona"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "I'm doing a coffee-table book on coffee tables. About coffee tables? That's fantastic. Who's your publisher?", "c": ["Kramer", "Mr. Lippman"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "This is the kind of idea you should be coming in with. What the hell do you do around here all day anyway?", "c": ["Mr. Lippman"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "George doesn't work. He's a bum. That's why he lives at home with us.", "c": ["Estelle Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "I've been assigned to work on Kramer's coffee-table book.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Well, I guess your boyfriend's gonna have to catch the next train. He's not my boyfriend. He's not? Interesting.", "c": ["TV Guide fanatic", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "When that front cover is nice and flat... it seems like there's good, fresh TV shows. Then as the week goes by, you start to hate the TV.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "TV Guide's always thrown, never handed to another person. It's the world's most thrown reading material.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "My question is if you can't do the TV Guide crossword puzzle... where are you coming across 95 cents?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Cigar Store Indian"}, {"t": "Doctor is a prestigious occupation...but it's one of the only jobs...where you have to have your diploma right up there on the wall. It makes them seem so insecure, doesn't it? 'I really am a doctor, you know. If you think I'm not, just check it out.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "'Go in that room, take your pants off, wait 15 minutes...then I'll give you my opinion.' After that, anybody with pants on...seems like they know what they're talking about. In any difference of opinion, pants always beats no pants.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Can I say one word to you? Lobster.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "You know, you're the only woman I've never thought about the price. Get the lobster. I beg you to get it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "George...can you ever forgive me? Have you decided yet? Yes. I'll have the lobster.", "c": ["George", "Sandi"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "You know, I'm starting to think that maybe lobster isn't the way to go.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Anyone can get into podiatry school. George got into podiatry school.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Well, we can't all be dating podiatrists.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Looks like a swan.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Her parents won't let her date anyone who isn't Latvian Orthodox! Latvian Orthodox?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "It is lobster. She's limiting herself to Latvian Orthodox? This was the only woman I never lied to.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "To Latvian Orthodox? Why not? What do I care? You know, it's not like changing toothpaste.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "It's like Edward VIII...abdicating the throne to marry Mrs. Simpson. Like King Edward, Jerry. Yeah, well...King Edward didn't live in Queens with Frank and Estelle Costanza.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "You make a little contribution, you have a ceremony. I am gonna think about this. I am really gonna think about this.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "As a kid, while kids were out playing, I'd be in my room practicing kissing.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Fungicide? Fungus?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "I was not snooping. I did not break the seal. There was no breaking and entering. I wouldn't do that. I always open medicine cabinets.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "But that's what podiatrists do. They deal in fungus. They're knee-deep in fungus. This guy knows fungus.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Fungi. What? Fungi.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "I think the hats.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "The hat conveys that solemn religious look you want in a faith. Very pious.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "But I know the basic plot, yeah.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Plot? Yes, you know, the flood...and the lepers and the commandments and all that.", "c": ["Father", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "So...am I in?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Don't you offer any kind of an express conversion? A quick change?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Mine.", "c": ["Sister Roberta"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "And what is Brother Costanza planning on telling Mother Costanza?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Brother Costanza will be taking the vow of silence.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "I think she liked me. What do you mean, she liked you? Liked me. Kramer, they like everybody. They're friendly people. I think I picked up on a vibe.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "You picked up on a vibe from a nun. Yeah. Jerry, I'm telling you, I have this power...and I have no control over it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "How do you even know it's hers? Maybe it belonged to Carol. Did you see a name on the tube? I didn't look. Well, take a look. It might not even belong to her.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "No, no. I'm just saying, you didn't really go to medical school. You went to podiatry school...which I'm sure is very grueling in its own way.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "I went to podiatry school because I like feet. I chose to work with feet.", "c": ["Podiatrist"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "George? What are you doing in there? What? Nothing. You've been in there an hour. Nothing. George, open the door. No. Georgie. No!", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "And I'll need that in the form of a question.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Well, not on purpose. I was...I was hoping there'd be a name on the tube.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Yes. He's a doctor.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "What, you're cheating on your conversion test?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "All this power! Look what I'm doing. I'm dangerous, Jerry. I'm very, very dangerous!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm full of it, Father.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "It is a Latvian word which means 'the lure of the animal.'", "c": ["Father"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Women are drawn to you. They would give anything to be possessed by you. Help me, Father. Help me!", "c": ["Father", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Hey, what the hell is going on? It stinks. What are you doing? I've got the kavorca. The kavorca? What is that? The lure of the animal. I'm dangerous.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "You know, you're funkifying the whole building. Keep away, Jerry. Just keep away.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Wait. Is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "I hardly slept last night with all the scratching. Bonkers was going crazy. Bonkers? My cat. He's got this weird sort of skin condition. It's some type of fungus.", "c": ["Tawny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "I said 'faddah.' I...I meant 'Father.' Just a little bit nervous.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Get away from me, you creep. Yes. Yes, it worked! Sister Roberta. I still got time to catch her.", "c": ["Woman", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Him.", "c": ["Sister Roberta"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "You know, because I love the foot. I'm a big fan of the foot. And that pinkie toe. Come on! How adorable is the pinkie toe? It's my favorite toe.", "c": ["Podiatrist"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Elaine, it's her cat. Her cat has the fungus. So I need the tube back.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Something's wrong. I don't feel the same lure. You don't? What have I..? I must return to the Church.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "It's like, 'Here's a salve from 1983...some cream from the '70s.' But you want to keep it private. A medicine cabinet is a place that reveals our weaknesses...and can throw off the balance between people that are going out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "Somebody peeks in there, 'Oh, I see Mr. Perfect needs...tough actin' Tinactin. Well, I guess I'll be calling the shots in this relationship from now on.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "But I just don't feel ready to make a commitment yet. Maybe when I get back from Latvia. Latvia?", "c": ["Sandi", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "I'd like a doggy bag for this, please.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Conversion"}, {"t": "From the rate we're pushing the whales off the beach back into the ocean, the words 'shore' and 'close' do not appear to be in their vocabulary.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Concentrate less on the singing, a little more on the approaching Cuervo beach volleyball tournament if you want to maintain that brainy-mammal image.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "This is kind of embarrassing but there's no toilet paper over here.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "No, I'm sorry. I can't spare it.", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Well, I don't need much. Just three squares will do it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I can't spare a square!", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Well, is it two-ply? Because if it's two-ply, I'll take one ply.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "One ply. One puny little ply. I'll take one measly ply!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Look, I don't have a square and I don't have a ply!", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "No, no, don't go! I beg you!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I love this artificial flavoring. I like it better than butter. I think it's more consistent.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I mean, a person needs a certain amount of toilet paper to be covered.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I simply could not spare it. This woman just didn't get it.", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Three squares! That's all I was asking for. Three squares!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "She wouldn't stop. 'Help me! Help me!' She was insane.", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "'Please, please!' She was insane.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Too bad they don't have old ladies walking around with flashlights. Flush her out.", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "You think if I jumped off that balcony, I'd get hurt?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "It's not one of those 976 calls, is it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Why do you do that?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Oh, with pretty boy Tony.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "'Hey. Hey.' Tony.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Well, maybe she couldn't spare it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Well, you know, sometimes a square is everything.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "It's like asking for someone's canteen in the desert. It's battle conditions.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Because I will never forget that flinty voice. It is tattooed in my brain.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Then we'll get a cab and we'll do it in the back seat.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "What about the driver?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "We'd get in an accident.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Kramer's Andre.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Jerry, I'm telling you, this phone-sex thing is hilarious.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Oh, nothing. She just choked on a Jujube.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Don't wanna keep Tony waiting.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I would be going out with him no matter what he looked like.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "It's different for a man. We're expected to be superficial.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "He's a 'mimbo.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "George is like a schoolgirl around him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Hey, dude, you better step off.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "You said, 'Step off'?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "God, that is too much!", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "You get no rush from bowling.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Drop a ball on your toe, my friend! Talk about a rush, you'll be throbbing! You'll see visions!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I'm supposed to have a boil lanced ma\u00f1ana, and I think they charge me if I cancel with only one ma\u00f1ana's notice.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Ma\u00f1ana I'm doing nada.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Tony, that's gonna be too many sandwiches.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "You need a boost to climb into your bed.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "He's the first cool guy I've ever been friends with in my life.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "You should hear the way he talks to waitresses. He gets free pie!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I think that you're in love with him.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "You love him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "And you're not getting any sandwiches either!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Well, that voice, it's very familiar. Throaty, almost flinty.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Did you say 'flinty'?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Oh, God, please get off me! I don't want to die up here!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Try to yodel. Yodel.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I got tuna and salmon salad, Tony, because I know you don't like peanut butter.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Oh, how's this thing work?", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "It's weak. Weak gum. Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "It's a big problem. She puts like four pieces in her mouth. It's ridiculous.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "She always has to be different.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "His face? Did something happen to his face?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Well, it all depends on what you mean by 'happen.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I sang '99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Well, aside from that, how'd he like the sandwiches?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Did they get into stuff like long, jagged scars, gross deformities, major skin grafts?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Do you recall the words 'radical reconstructive surgery' being uttered?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Step off, George. I don't want to see you.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I made such delicious sandwiches, Elaine.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "It's a damn shame. A damn shame.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Jerry's told me so much about you, I feel like I know you intimately.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Jerry, that voice is tattooed on my brain, it's her.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Or is your entire world just crashing down all around you?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "You know: You're afraid he might look like Zippy the Pinhead.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I lied.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "But he's my mimbo. And even if he is a hideous freak, maybe I can learn to love him.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "And maybe in some final irony, I'll learn what love really is.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I didn't get most of that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "We have a certain chemistry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I sell paper goods, you jerk.", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "No, I'm sorry. I can't spare it. There's just not enough to spare.", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "I can't spare a square.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Can you almost make it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "Good thing he was there, or I would have hit the ground directly.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Stall"}, {"t": "We never should have landed a man on the moon. It's a mistake. Now everything is compared to that one accomplishment. Everybody goes, 'I can't believe they can land a man on the moon... ...and taste my coffee.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "We'd go, 'They can't make a prescription bottle that'll open easily? I'm not surprised they couldn't land on the moon. Things make perfect sense.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Neil Armstrong should've said, 'That's one small step for man... ...one giant leap for every whining, complaining SOB on the Earth.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Hey, do you believe I got 'Happy New Year'd' today? It's February. I once got 'Happy New Year'd' in March.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Hey, is it cold out? Really cold. Scary cold? What's your definition of scary cold?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Visual: Jerry and George's shocked reaction to Kramer's enormous puffy coat", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "It's Gore-Tex. You know about Gore-Tex? You like saying Gore-Tex, don't you?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Look at you. You can't even turn around in that thing. Look at this. Hey, George, can you feel this?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You mean just going there because I'm invited... that's rude? You're telling me, instead of them being happy to see me... they'll be upset because I didn't bring anything.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "The fabric of society is very complex, George.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I don't even drink wine. I drink Pepsi. You can't bring Pepsi. Why not? Because we're adults.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "What, you're telling me that wine is better than Pepsi? No way wine is better than Pepsi.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I don't think we wanna walk in there... and put a big plastic jug of Pepsi in the middle of the table.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You're getting to be an annoying little chore yourself.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Who's driving? You are. I can't get that thing in my car.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You're comfortable up there, bubble boy. Oh, yeah. You wish you had this coat.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I was just thinking, the four of us can't show up... with just one bottle of wine. Oh, here we go. What? Why don't we get them a couch.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "We'll rent a U-Haul. We'll bring them a nice sectional.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Why don't you just get some Ring Dings from the liquor store.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Ring Dings are better than anything at a bakery. I like Ring Dings.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "George, you can't show up at someone's house... with Ring Dings and Pepsi.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "It's a funeral procession.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I got news for you. I show up with Ring Dings and Pepsi... I'm the hit of the party. People would be coming up, 'Between you and me... I'm really excited about the Ring Dings and the Pepsi.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "What are we, Europeans, with the Beaujolais and the chardonnay?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I love the smell of bakeries.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Look, Elaine, the black-and-white cookie. I love the black-and-white. Two races of flavor living side by side in harmony.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "It's a wonderful thing, isn't it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You know, I often wonder what you'll be like when you're senile.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I'm looking forward to it. Yeah. It'll be a very smooth transition.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "But listen. Elaine, when we get up to the door... you hold the cake box. Why? I don't know. Just standing there with a box, holding it by the little string...", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You think it's effeminate? It's a tad dainty.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "See, that's not fair. We were here ahead of all these people. You think I should go and ask her for hers?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Just because they have a ticket doesn't mean they were here first. We were ahead of them and them and her.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "What if somebody wants to get out of here? People get spaces this good, they never give them up. That's a fallacy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Why don't you go into the store, and I'll wait in the car? Because I've got the coat. I can sit in the car and not get cold.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Does the heater work in this car? No.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "But we were here ahead of you. How do I know that? Well, we saw you come in. Well, that's easy for you to say. Oh, yeah, right. That's something I do. I make up stories to get ahead in lines at bakeries.", "c": ["Jerry", "Barbara"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Visual: Awkward recognition scene between Elaine and Barbara Benedict", "c": ["Elaine", "Barbara"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Well, this is a little awkward, isn't it? Yes, it is.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "As soon as I get there... I'm gonna tell everyone what a jerk you are. I'll be there ahead of you and I'll be telling them what a jerk you are.", "c": ["Barbara", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You're lucky, Mrs. Benedict. It's our last one.", "c": ["Baker"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "What do you say we get a Mouton Cadet? What's that? It's a Bordeaux. Robust, bold, very dry... as opposed to a Beaujolais, which is richer and fruitier.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "We should've gone to the bakery. They're not getting no 12-dollar cake.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Why not? I don't like to carry my wallet. My osteopath says that it's bad for my spine. Throws my hips off-kilter.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Throws your hips off-kilter.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "So, what do you do? Oh, I get by.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "That's the last babka. They got the last babka. I know. They're going in first with the last babka. That was our babka. You can't beat babka.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Well, how about a carrot cake? Carrot cake? Why is that a cake? You don't make carrots into a cake, I'm sorry.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Black Forest? Black Forest? Too scary. You're in the forest.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Hey, how about a napoleon? Napoleon? Who's he to have a cake? He was a ruthless warmonger. Might as well get a Mengele.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Another babka?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Well, we gotta get the cinnamon. Yeah, but they got the chocolate. We'll be going in with lesser babka.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I beg your pardon. Cinnamon takes a back seat to no babka.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "People love it. It should be on tables in restaurants with salt and pepper. Someone says, 'This is so good. What's in this?' The answer comes back, 'Cinnamon, cinnamon,' again and again.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Lesser babka? I think not.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I'll have a cinnamon babka. And a black-and-white cookie for me. Peace.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Hey, anybody got change for a hundred? Are you crazy? What are you doing? You're gonna get us killed.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Don't go shouting we got a $100 bill. People will be all over us.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "What, it's a hundred? I can't change a hundred. Why not? You gotta buy more than that.", "c": ["Clerk", "George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "George, get a Penthouse Forum. I'm not getting a Penthouse Forum. No, that'll make great dinner-party conversation. We'll read the letters at the dinner table.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You ever read one of these? It's not real. They're all made up. Oh, it's real. You know, then there's an unusual number of people having sex... with amputees.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Big coat. Big coat! Yes. I'm sorry. It's a new coat. It's Gore-Tex.", "c": ["Store patron", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "We better be careful with that thing. You'll start a war.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "See, the key to eating a black-and-white cookie... is you wanna get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "And yet still somehow, racial harmony eludes us.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "If people would only look to the cookie... all our problems would be solved.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Well, your views on race relations are just fascinating. You really should do an op-ed piece for The Times.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Look to the cookie, Elaine. Look to the cookie.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You sold us a cake with a hair on it. You have to take a number. We waited 15 minutes for this.", "c": ["Jerry", "Baker"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "A little hair? Do you think that makes it better? What if it's your hair? What if it's your hair?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "What is wrong with my hair? Nobody takes better care of their hair than me. You can serve dinner on my head.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You use that misty herbal rainwater crap they sell in the health food store. I use Prell, the hard stuff. Hundred proof, takes your roots out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Imagine if we didn't bring the wine. We'd be shunned by society. Outcasts. 'Where's your wine? Get out!'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Somebody double-parked and blocked us in. Does anybody know whose car that is? Maybe there's a note on it. Oh, brother. No. No note.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I really cannot comprehend how stupid people can be sometimes. Can you comprehend it? No, I can't comprehend it.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "We can put a man on the moon, but we're still basically very stupid. The guy whose car this is could be the guy that built the rocket.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "On one hand, he's smart with rockets. On the other, he's dumb with parking.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Maybe it's not stupidity. Maybe it's just a blatant disregard... for basic human decency. This is how dictators start.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Think Mussolini would circle the block six times for a spot? How about Idi Amin, huh?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "If I was running for office, I'd ask for the death penalty for double-parkers. If this is allowed to go on, this is not a society. This is anarchy!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Are those shoes comfortable? No, not really. They look comfortable. That's why I got them, but they're not.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Because I had a bad experience with a hair when I was younger. What happened? I'd rather not talk about it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I once found a hair in my farina, and I freaked out. You found a hair in your farina? Yeah. What happened?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I screamed: 'There's a hair in my farina. There's a hair in my farina.' I ran out of the house. I was running and running.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I was little, but I could run really fast. And I... I just kept running and... they found me three hours later collapsed at a construction site.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Whose hair was it? My mother's.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You sold us a hair with a cake around it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You wanna trade your hair for some phlegm. You win the pennant with that trade. Hair for phlegm.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Did you ever see her lose her temper? I was once late because I bought a Panama hat. She pulled it down so hard my head came right through the top.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Back off, puffball, it's not my car!", "c": ["Street person"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Wait till I get my hands on that George. I am gonna pull that big hood over his little head... tie the strings... and suffocate him.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I think I got David Duke and Farrakhan down there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "If we can't look to the cookie, where can we look?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I haven't thrown up since June 29, 1980.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Fourteen years down the drain.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You think chickens have individual personalities? I don't know. Could you tell five chickens apart... just by the way they acted?", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Visual: Kramer does chicken impression/walk", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "If they have individual personalities, I'm not sure we should be eating them.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "But my friend here has hypothermia. Hypothermia.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. That's Saddam Hussein, the dictator. I told you. I told you.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I wouldn't walk around without a coat. You'll catch your death of cold. So long.", "c": ["Saddam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "How about a nice box of scram?", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Might've been Saddam Hussein. We're not sure. He had a British accent, though.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I heard a weatherman say... that 75 percent of your body heat... is actually lost through the top of the head.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Which sounds like you could go skiing naked if you got a good hat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "This hat says to the world: 'I would rather have the heat in my skull... than anything society could possibly offer me.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "In fact, if you're on trial for a serious crime... and your lawyer recommends the insanity defense... this is the hat to wear. Your Honor, the defense rests.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "The Dinner Party"}, {"t": "We never should have landed a man on the moon. Now everything is compared to that one accomplishment. 'I can't believe they can land a man on the moon and taste my coffee.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "We'd go, 'They can't make a prescription bottle that'll open easily? I'm not surprised they couldn't land on the moon. Things make perfect sense.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Neil Armstrong should've said, 'That's one small step for man, one giant leap for every whining, complaining SOB on the Earth.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Hey, do you believe I got 'Happy New Year'd' today? It's February. I once got 'Happy New Year'd' in March.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Hey, is it cold out? Really cold. Scary cold? What's your definition of scary cold?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Jerry's reaction to seeing Kramer in an enormous Gore-Tex coat", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "It's Gore-Tex. You know about Gore-Tex? You like saying Gore-Tex, don't you?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Look at you. You can't even turn around in that thing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "You mean just going there because I'm invited, that's rude? Instead of them being happy to see me, they'll be upset because I didn't bring anything.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "The fabric of society is very complex, George.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "I don't even drink wine. I drink Pepsi. You can't bring Pepsi. Why not? Because we're adults.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "No way wine is better than Pepsi. I don't think we wanna walk in there and put a big plastic jug of Pepsi in the middle of the table.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "You're getting to be an annoying little chore yourself.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "You're comfortable up there, bubble boy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Why don't we get them a couch. We'll rent a U-Haul. We'll bring them a nice sectional.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Ring Dings? Ring Dings are better than anything at a bakery. You can't show up at someone's house with Ring Dings and Pepsi.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "I got news for you. I show up with Ring Dings and Pepsi, I'm the hit of the party. 'Between you and me, I'm really excited about the Ring Dings and the Pepsi.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "What are we, Europeans, with the Beaujolais and the chardonnay?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "I love the smell of bakeries. Look, Elaine, the black-and-white cookie. Two races of flavor living side by side in harmony.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "I often wonder what you'll be like when you're senile. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, it'll be a very smooth transition.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "You think it's effeminate? It's a tad dainty.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "See, that's not fair. We were here ahead of all these people. Just because they have a ticket doesn't mean they were here first.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Because I've got the coat. I can sit in the car and not get cold. Does the heater work in this car? No.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "That's something I do. I make up stories to get ahead in lines at bakeries.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "As soon as I get there, I'm gonna tell everyone what a jerk you are. I'll be there ahead of you and I'll be telling them what a jerk you are.", "c": ["Barbara", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "What's that? It's a Bordeaux. Robust, bold, very dry, as opposed to a Beaujolais, which is richer and fruitier.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "I don't like to carry my wallet. My osteopath says that it's bad for my spine. Throws my hips off-kilter.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "So, what do you do? Oh, I get by.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Carrot cake? Why is that a cake? You don't make carrots into a cake, I'm sorry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Black Forest? Too scary. You're in the forest.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Napoleon? Who's he to have a cake? He was a ruthless warmonger. Might as well get a Mengele.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Cinnamon takes a back seat to no babka. People love it. It should be on tables in restaurants with salt and pepper.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "A black-and-white cookie for me. Peace.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Hey, anybody got change for a hundred? Are you crazy? What are you doing? Don't go shouting we got a $100 bill. People will be all over us.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "George, get a Penthouse Forum. I'm not getting a Penthouse Forum. That'll make great dinner-party conversation. We'll read the letters at the dinner table.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "You ever read one of these? It's not real. They're all made up. Oh, it's real. Then there's an unusual number of people having sex with amputees.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Big coat. Big coat! It's Gore-Tex. We better be careful with that thing. You'll start a war.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "See, the key to eating a black-and-white cookie is you wanna get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "If people would only look to the cookie, all our problems would be solved. Your views on race relations are just fascinating. You really should do an op-ed piece for The Times.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "What is this? It's a hair. You sold us a cake with a hair on it. You have to take a number.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "Baker"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "What is wrong with my hair? Nobody takes better care of their hair than me. You can serve dinner on my head.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "You use that misty herbal rainwater crap they sell in the health food store. I use Prell, the hard stuff. Hundred proof, takes your roots out.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Imagine if we didn't bring the wine. We'd be shunned by society. Outcasts. 'Where's your wine? Get out!'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "I really cannot comprehend how stupid people can be sometimes. Can you comprehend it? We can put a man on the moon, but we're still basically very stupid.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "The guy whose car this is could be the guy that built the rocket. He could build the rocket. He's still stupid for double-parking.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "This is how dictators start. Think Mussolini would circle the block six times for a spot? If I was running for office, I'd ask for the death penalty for double-parkers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "I once found a hair in my farina, and I freaked out. I screamed: 'There's a hair in my farina.' I ran out of the house. They found me three hours later collapsed at a construction site.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "You wanna trade your hair for some phlegm. You win the pennant with that trade. Hair for phlegm.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Back off, puffball, it's not my car!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "I am gonna pull that big hood over his little head, tie the strings, and suffocate him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Not getting along? I think I got David Duke and Farrakhan down there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.82, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "If we can't look to the cookie, where can we look?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "I haven't thrown up since June 29, 1980.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "If they have individual personalities, I'm not sure we should be eating them.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "No, no. We bought the wine here before. We're blocked in by some car double-parked. Well, wait outside. This isn't a hang out.", "c": ["Jerry", "Store clerk"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. That's Saddam Hussein, the dictator. I told you. I wouldn't walk around without a coat.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "How about a nice box of scram?", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Might've been Saddam Hussein. We're not sure. He had a British accent, though.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "I heard a weatherman say that 75 percent of your body heat is actually lost through the top of the head. Which sounds like you could go skiing naked if you got a good hat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "This hat says to the world: 'I would rather have the heat in my skull than anything society could possibly offer me.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "If you're on trial for a serious crime, and your lawyer recommends the insanity defense, this is the hat to wear. Your Honor, the defense rests.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "The Marine Biologist"}, {"t": "Aren't mannequins kind of an insult to your imagination? You couldn't visualize a sweater... so we'll show you on this life-size, snotty puppet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "When they're finished they become crash-test dummies. The end of the line for a mannequin. 'Whatever happened to Bob?' 'Have you seen that new Volvo commercial? He's got a bull's-eye right in his face.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Mannequins are only used for car accidents and fashion... two situations that it's impossible for us to imagine ourselves: Well-dressed or getting killed.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I'm sure some pro-mannequin organization... doesn't like the term 'mannequin.' 'Hey, they're not mannequins. They're the life-deprived.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "She wouldn't so much as taste it... She just kept shaking her head like this:", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "She carries Entenmanns doughnuts in her purse.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I told her we should have moving walkways all over city... Like at the airport? Yeah... That's a great idea... Tell me about it.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I never broke up with anyone for not tasting pie. I once broke up with someone for not offering me pie.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "He could be eating a hero... he wouldn't offer me anything. It's a sickness.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I never heard of that happening to a woman. What the hell does that mean?", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "It's like they chopped off your arms and legs, dipped you in plastic... screwed you all back together, and stuck you on a pedestal.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "It's really quite exquisite.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I was watching TV without my shirt on... and my couch cushion didn't have any fabric on it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "It's like some pod landed from another planet and took your body.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Don't fall asleep, Elaine.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Did you just roll your eyes at him? If anybody should be rolling their eyes... it is me at him about you.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "What are you saying, that I'm not good enough for this hideous dress?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I wouldn't be caught dead... wearing your crummy little Eurotrash rags.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, of course. And we have to be fair.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "You're not a psycho... Exactly. You're not a psycho.", "c": ["Jerry", "Woman"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Well, I think we've proven who the psycho is. We certainly have.", "c": ["Jerry", "Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "One lap around... It'll be a funky adventure.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I think you know my policy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I'm going home to spatula.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Madam, I pray you're not toying with me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "They're having an unadvertised sale. This suit will be half-price starting Monday... Actually, the unadvertised sale starts on Friday.", "c": ["George", "Man", "Clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "You know, for an unadvertised sale, you're doing a lot of yapping about it.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "You obviously like pies. You carry doughnuts in your bag. You're not averse to pastry. Surely you could see how such a thing would prey on my mind.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Jerry watching Poppie come out of bathroom and knead dough without washing hands", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "You're not gonna taste it?", "c": ["Poppie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "When he came out of that bathroom, and he was kneading that dough... it was a wild scene.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Even if you're not gonna soap up... at least pretend, for my benefit. Turn the water on. Do something.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Yeah, just like I do.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "You know, a chef who doesn't wash is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help. He wants to get caught.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "She's a maestro... The crisscross... the figure eight, strumming the old banjo... and this wild, savage free-for-all... where anything can happen.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "The last time I saw her... she was naked.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "You bastard! You hid the suit... I have no idea how this suit got misplaced.", "c": ["George", "Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Half-price. Arrivederci, my fellow 40-short.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "He felt my face for a really long time... to see what I looked like. He almost put his finger up my nose.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Because you have an attitude.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "It's rubbing between your thighs when you walk. That's what's making that swooshy sound.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "He fired the last guy because his nose whistled when he breathed.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Let's say it's between me and one other guy. He's got a quiet suit, and I'm whooshing all over the place! Who do you think he's gonna hire?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "You were wearing a G-string and one of those bras with points.", "c": ["Olive"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "That's my ass in your window.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I believe there is some legal precedent... Winchell v. Mahoney. The Charlie McCarthy hearings.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I don't know about you, but I'm getting a hankering for some Doublemint gum.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "We can concentrate without people whooshing around.", "c": ["MacKenzie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Well, Poppie's a little sloppy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Conformity's an obsession with me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Take a bite, George. Take a bite... It's delicious. I insist. If you're one of us, you'll take a bite.", "c": ["MacKenzie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "But I was the only one at the table that didn't get violently ill.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I've been faking it so I wouldn't hurt her feelings.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Why is she wearing her underwear? Well, it's a style.", "c": ["Olive", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "I just got a letter from a friend of mine in Chicago... who was shopping, and she saw a mannequin that looked just like me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "Ricky, we've been getting a tremendous response... to your TR-6 mannequin. TR-6? I prefer to think of her as... Elaine.", "c": ["Business person", "Ricky"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "The Pie"}, {"t": "The bus is the single stupidest, fattest... slowest, most despised vehicle on the road, isn't it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Ever notice when you get behind a bus, people go: 'What are you doing? Get away. Come on.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "The back of the bus, it's like an eclipse, isn't it? People are just like, 'The sun. Where is the sun?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "It's like this huge metal ass... just taking up the whole windshield of your car.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "When it pulls out, it even sounds like a fat uncle trying to get out of a sofa.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "It's just not good. It's not good. - It's not good.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "I'm bored. She's boring, I'm boring. We're both boring.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "We go out to eat, read newspapers. - At breakfast, everybody reads. - No, lunch, we read. - Dinner, we read.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "At least we're talking about how there's nothing. Talk with her about how there's nothing. She knows there's nothing. - At least she'll be talking.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Deeply in love. We have so many things to talk about. Sometimes, we'll talk all night... till the sun comes up.", "c": ["Al"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "We have no need to speak. We communicate with deep, soulful looks. Like Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Said he could use a good laugh. - What about me? He didn't mention you.", "c": ["Al", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "You can't say something bad about relationships... you shouldn't say anything at all.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "'Could use a good laugh.' You know what pressure that is?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "I can't hide my pity. I make them feel worse.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Also, I'm afraid... that people in that state are finally gonna tell me what they really think. They got nothing to lose. What do they care?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Mickey's a stand-in for an 8-year-old kid... and I stand in for the kid's father.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "The kid I stand in for, he's growing. He was 4 feet last month. Now he's like 4'2\" and a half. He shot up 2 and a half inches.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "I can do 4'2\", 4'3\" is a stretch. Any higher, I'm gonna be out on my ass... doing that paralegal crap.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "How do you stop a kid from growing? I told you, you should offer him some cigarettes.", "c": ["George", "Mickey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "I offered him cigarettes... but his stupid mother's always hanging around. She won't let him have any.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Can't you just switch with another midget? It's 'little people.' - You got that? - Easy, Mickey. Easy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Mickey", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "You gotta get some lifts for your shoes. Lifts? Kramer, you don't understand. This kind of thing is just not done.", "c": ["Kramer", "Mickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "I could use a good laugh. - Who couldn't? - I haven't cracked a smile in months. - Oh, don't worry. You'll crack.", "c": ["Fulton", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Cracking's inevitable. First you crack, then you chuckle. That was the Russians' motto at the Siege of Leningrad.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "You know, because Leningrad... when the Nazis attacked, it wasn't a very happy time. Because of the war. Famine. Plus, it was cold. Very cold. They were eating each other.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "So how are the eggs? Eggs are eggs.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "That is very profound. By the same token, could you say, 'Fish is fish'? I don't think so.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Al Nechy called me today. He told me not to get involved with you. He said you could never make a commitment... and you'd just wind up hurting me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "I mean, sure, there may have been one or two occasions in the past... when I may have reacted... in an impulsive or somewhat immature manner... but those days are well behind me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "How long are you gonna be away for, Daddy? I'm not really going away. I told you, I'll be back every other weekend. Don't go, Daddy. Don't go.", "c": ["Child Actor", "Adult Actor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "How do those lifts feel? Quiet.", "c": ["Kramer", "Mickey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "You look different. - Have you been working out? - Not that I know of. Whatever it is, keep doing it. You look great.", "c": ["Tammy", "Mickey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "There's something different about you. - I got my hair cut, that's all. - No, that's not it. Something else. You don't. You got the same ugly mug you had since the day I met you.", "c": ["Johnny", "Mickey", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "So he picks up the two pieces of pizza and... And they're steaming hot. They're burning his hands, so he's juggling. He's throwing them in the air. And just as he gets up to her, down they go.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Octane, butane, night train!", "c": ["Fulton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "If I was a woman, I'd be at the dock waiting for the fleet to come in.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "He's afraid that she's gonna get hurt. - Is she? - Of course.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "So now you're gonna keep going out with her for spite? - Yes. I am. - Yeah, I could see that. - I don't see any way around it. - Me either. - What choice do I have? - None.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Fulton's wife told me it's all my fault. She said since my visit, he's taken a turn for the worse.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "When my friend Len Nickidimo had gout... I was in his hospital room for three days. The doctors were amazed at his recovery.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Johnny Viggiano went through my locker. That little bastard. He saw the lifts in my shoes. He knows I'm heightening.", "c": ["Mickey", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "This never would've happened if you didn't push me to get those. - I told you. - Nobody put a gun to your head. Yeah. Just keep out of my business, you big ape. Who you calling 'big ape'? I'm calling you an ape.", "c": ["Mickey", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "He's always been jealous of me. I always got to stand in for the bigger stars. The Cosby kids, Ricky Schroder, Macaulay Culkin.", "c": ["Mickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "There's an unwritten code about this. I could be ostracized. I remember when I was a kid, some guy tried to heighten. He lost his job, lost his friends, everything.", "c": ["Mickey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "He bought a new blanket. And he got that game with the foam paddles and the Velcro ball.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "I don't know what he's gonna do with all that potato salad.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "You really are beautiful, Elaine. Well... - Good night. - Good night?", "c": ["Phil", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "He took it out. He what? He took... it out.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "You were involved in some sort of amorous... No. - You mean, he just...? - Yes. - Are you sure? - Oh, quite.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "So you were talking, you're having a pleasant conversation... and then all of a sudden... - Yeah. - It. - It. - Out. - Out.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "He took it out. Well, maybe it needed some air. You know, sometimes they need air. They can't breathe in there. It's inhuman.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "I spend time trying to get their clothes off... I never thought of taking mine off.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "How long are you gonna keep this up? Hey, I'll get married if I have to.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "I don't know what I did wrong. Well, you showed her who you are.", "c": ["Phil", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "What, she's gotta breast-feed in public? Yeah, that's the last thing you wanna see. Well, next to last.", "c": ["Jerry", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Rock, paper, scissors. Match. - Rock, paper, scissors. Match. All right. Rock beats paper. I thought paper covered rock. No. Rock flies right through paper.", "c": ["Kramer", "Mickey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Well, what beats rock? Nothing beats rock.", "c": ["Mickey", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Everybody knows that you're heightening. It's all over the set. All the progress we've made over the years... and you blow it with a stupid stunt like that.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "I'm Mickey Abbot. I stood in for Punky Brewster when all of you was nothing.", "c": ["Mickey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Fulton?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Jerry Persach. Pachyderm? He was carrying these two pieces of pizza...", "c": ["Daphne", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "The Stand In"}, {"t": "Of all the places you go... the dry cleaning relationship's the most bizarre. You keep giving each other the same thing... back and forth over and over again.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "It's like it's half his shirt, in a way. He has it as much as you do. You ought to go shopping with him. 'What do you think of this shirt?' 'That would look good with a light starch.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "The only warning label people respect is 'dry-clean only.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Speed limits, lung cancer, cigarette warnings... your very life is at stake. People go, 'Ah, the hell with it.' But dry-clean only? 'Don't put that in the wash. It's dry-clean only. Are you crazy?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Good morning. -Good morning. -How did you sleep? -You're on the couch tonight.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You were all over my side. -I was not. I was sleeping with one cheek off the bed.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "By the way, you're falling way behind on the 'I love you's.' -No, no, 12-8. -No, it's 15-8.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I know I can't beat you. I'm trying to stay competitive.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I think I'll try a sports jacket and scarf thing. You know, like an unemployed actor.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Cashmere? -No, Gore-Tex.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Come on, you know I'm getting pancakes. -I don't know that. -We can't both get pancakes. It's embarrassing. That's one step from the couples that dress alike.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I'll get the short stack. -That's why I love you. 15-9.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Is that my maple syrup? -Yeah. -You bring your own syrup? -You got to. You got a lot to learn about pancakes.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "This is my wife. She died eight years ago. I've been looking all over for this.", "c": ["Dry cleaner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna give you and your family 25 percent off your dry cleaning.", "c": ["Dry cleaner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "All right. I guess I get it too, because I'm his wife.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You never met my wife, Meryl. Meryl Seinfeld.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "The money my wife... -I'm taking him to the cleaners. See her sense of humor?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I tell you, it was fun being single. But when you meet a woman like this, you don't walk to get married. You run.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Today was the first day I've worked out... since the Central Park mini-marathon. -You ran the mini-marathon? -No, but I exercised that day.", "c": ["George", "Greg"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "As an airline pilot, you're one of the few people who can... say that and mean it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Eleven-thirty. -Eleven-thirty? -Wait, wait, 10:30. Sorry.", "c": ["Greg", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "The syrup. Would you pass the syrup? Oh, you want to try the syrup.", "c": ["Elaine", "Greg"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "My wife and I will have a little more coffee. -Okay. -And the check for my husband.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "Waitress"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "To my beautiful wife. To my adoring husband. -Adoring? What about handsome? -I like adoring. Yeah, sure. Adoring's good for you. What's it do for me?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "We don't allow any outside syrups... jams, or condiments in the restaurant. And if I catch you in here with that again... I will confiscate it.", "c": ["Restaurant manager"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Well, I told my wife not to bring it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Really? Twenty-five percent off? -Do I get that too? -No. Just Meryl. -Why does she get it? -Because she's my wife.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I tell you, I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other. You care about each other. It's wonderful. I love saying 'My wife.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Once I started saying it, I can't stop. 'My wife' this, 'my wife' that. It's an amazing way to begin a sentence. 'My wife has an inner ear infection.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Will you take my quilt into the cleaners... so I can get the discount too? We'll start doing this now? I can't be taking... all your dry cleaning in. -Just this one time. It's expensive.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Hey, Elaine. What do you say, if neither of us is married in 10 years... we get hitched? -Let's make it 50. We're engaged.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "This guy gave me... an open-lip kiss. -So? -So? We've always just kind of pecked. This one had a different dynamic.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "His upper lip landed flush on my upper lip... but his lower lip landed well below my rim. -Moisture? -Yeah. Definite moisture.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "That's an open-lip kiss, all right. -Yeah. I think he's giving me a big signal. Maybe he wants to change our relationship.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Why are you interested? He's a jerk. Because he doesn't pay any attention to me, and he ignores me. -Yeah, so? -I respect that.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I was in the locker room showering, and I... I had to go, so-- -Here we go.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Anyway, I think the guy in the shower opposite saw me. He even gave me a dirty look.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You went... in the shower? Yeah, so what? I'm not the only one.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Do you go in the shower? -No, never. -Do you? -I take baths.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "What was I supposed to do? Get out of the shower, put on my bathrobe... go to the other end, come all the way back?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Did you ever hear of holding it in? Oh, no. That's very bad for the kidneys. -How do you know? -Medical journals.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Do the medical journals mention anything... about standing in a pool of someone else's urine?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I must have been in the incinerator room when you left.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "If you or your wife want to drop by on Wednesday-- Your wife? Yeah. My wife. What are you talking about?", "c": ["Marty", "Jerry", "Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You got married? I wasn't invited? Nobody sends me an invitation? Well, it was sudden. Are you ashamed of your uncle? Do I embarrass you?", "c": ["Uncle Leo", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Who told you when you went to school that you print well? You did. When he was younger, he had a beautiful penmanship. I used to encourage him to print. -I'm a good printer. -I remember your 'V.' It was like a perfect triangle.", "c": ["Uncle Leo", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You know where I can get some good olives? -I can find out. -Would you? Sure. Oh, a project. That's a definite signal.", "c": ["Greg", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "By the way, you look really great in that leotard. Thanks. That's no signal. Who wouldn't like me in this leotard? I look amazing in this leotard.", "c": ["Greg", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "It's weird. I think I had a dream about you last night. Okay, he open-lips me, he dreams about me... we have an olive project, that's it. I'm asking this guy out.", "c": ["Greg", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. -I'm sorry. What were you saying? -It was nothing. Forget it.", "c": ["Elaine", "Greg"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "See that guy right there? -Yeah. You mean him? -Yeah. I caught him urinating in the shower. I'm thinking about turning him in too.", "c": ["Greg", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Honey, could you get me something to drink? -You're right there. -Come on, I'm sitting.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Honey, what did you do with the can opener? -I didn't do anything with it. -It's not here. It was here yesterday. -It's in the first drawer. -I'm looking in the first drawer.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm not stupid. I'm looking in that drawer. There's no can opener. -Did I say you were stupid? -Well, wouldn't I have to be? You tell me there's a can opener in the drawer... I'm looking, there's no can opener. What other conclusion could one reach?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm sorry. I'm just fighting with my wife. Jerry, we just heard. What's going on? Why didn't you tell us?", "c": ["Jerry", "Parents"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Mom, I'm not married. -What? -I'm not married. I knew it. I told you. Uncle Leo said. I'm just pretending I'm married to get a discount on dry cleaning.", "c": ["Jerry", "Parents"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "A discount on dry cleaning? Could you make a little more noise? I'll have to call you later. Well, I give up. Well, whoopee-woo.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Take it easy. Why are you so tired? My quilt is still at the cleaners. Jerry, I can't sleep without my quilt. The other night I was cold, so last night... I turned up the heat, it's too hot. I opened up a window, it's too cold. I can't get into the zone.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I'm sorry about all that can opener stuff. Yeah. Me too. -I love you. -I love you. -Well, good night. -Good night.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "But then he wiped his hand on the top of the bottle... when I offered him water. That doesn't mean anything. Are you kidding? That's very significant. If he was interested in me, he'd want my germs. He'd just crave my germs.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "She's right, George. Bottle-wipe is big. What about the open-lip kiss? Bottle-wipe supersedes it.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Could it be because you don't want him to know... that your friend pees in the shower? -That's not it. -I think it is. -That's exactly what it is.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Why couldn't you wait? I was there. I saw a drain. -Since when is a drain a toilet? -It's all pipes. -What's the difference? -Different pipes go to different places. -You're gonna mix them up.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I'll call a plumber right now.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You don't look good. -Huh? I don't? -No. You look pale. -Pale? Oh, my God. I gotta meet Anna's parents today.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "It's not ready yet. -Not ready? It has to be ready. What kind of a business are you running here? Who the hell are you? It's not your quilt.", "c": ["Dry cleaner", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "He's a good friend of mine. He's like an older brother to me. When things don't go right, he takes it personally.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I gotta meet Anna's parents, remember? I look terrible. I'm gonna hit the tanning machines. I can't believe you still do that. It's bad for you. That's how I maintain my glow.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "How much would it cost to clean this? -Oh, about $13. -Thirteen? Well, I can't afford that. Well, I'm sorry.", "c": ["Woman", "Dry cleaner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I got the machine next, buddy. It's all yours.", "c": ["George", "Greg"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "What happened? Did he bring it up? Never mind that. Look at the signal I just got. Signal? What signal? He knew I'd use it next. He didn't wipe his sweat off. That's a gesture of intimacy.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I'll tell you what that is. That's a violation of club rules. -Now I got him. You're my witness.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "He knew what he was doing. This was a signal. -A guy leaves sweat, that's a signal? -Yes. It's a social thing. If he left a used Kleenex, what's that, a valentine?", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You tell him if he's thinking of turning me in... that I got the goods on him. -No. I won't be a party to this. So you're gonna let me get suspended for shower urination?", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I can't let you do this. -I want to. -But it isn't right. I can't. -Give me the clothes. Jerry, please. What about her? -Oh, the hell with her.", "c": ["Jerry", "Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "No, Jerry, please. I'm not gonna let you walk out of my life. I can't fight you. Do you want box or hanger? You decide.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry", "Dry cleaner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Good. I think I'm gonna talk to her about that guy. We can't have people like that here. -Are you sure you wanna do that? -Yeah. He's disgusting. Besides, I'll take any chance I can to talk to her. -You're interested in her? -Very.", "c": ["Greg", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You know, I'm engaged. Yep, I'm getting married in 50 years.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You know, Greg, I wouldn't do that if I were you. -Why? -Well, correct me if I'm wrong... but isn't it a violation of club policy... to not wipe down a machine after using it?", "c": ["Elaine", "Greg"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Oh, I see. You're friends with the urinator, aren't you? Yeah, well... at least he had a drain.", "c": ["Greg", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "There you go, Mrs. Seinfeld. With your 25 percent discount, it comes to $17.80. Here you go. Excuse me, this isn't mine. Oh, yes, it is. Your husband brought it in himself.", "c": ["Dry cleaner", "Woman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You son of a bitch. -I'm sorry. -Who is she? -It doesn't matter. I want a divorce.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "A divorce? So you can marry her and give her the discount? Yes, that's right.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "What happened to us, Jerry? -I'll tell you what happened. We got married.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. This is my fault. I pushed it on you. No. I guess I just wasn't ready for the responsibilities... of a pretend marriage.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I forgot. This is your maple syrup. It's all right, I want you to have it. Okay, thanks.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "We'll always have pancakes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "I thought you said you was bringing a white boy home. I don't see a white boy. I see a damn fool.", "c": ["Anna's parent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "To me, the thing about marriage is... I can't believe how often it happens. I like the idea of it, but I can't believe that many people... are meeting people that they want to see every single day... every day, every day, every day, every day.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "That should happen, like, three or four times... you know, in the whole century. Like any major investment, you sign a marriage contract. Here's your person.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "If you're a man, the bride's family... pays for the wedding, like getting cash back. 'Till death do us part' that's the extended warranty program. You give her the ring, that's the keys.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "You slide it on, start him up, but you've got to make it work. Your value drops 20 percent when you drive each other off the lot.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "The Wife"}, {"t": "Don't you hate these people that talk into your mouth...like you're a clown at a drive-through?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Sometimes they give you...the three-quarter handshake, just the fingers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "I have actually said to people, 'Hey, the handshake is over.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "That's three strikes. You're out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "I'm getting a little backed up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Maybe this will become, like, a cool thing, living with your parents. Then maybe baldness will catch on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to? Who do you think's gonna be getting tour of the ship? The baldies.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Did you see the mug on that kid?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Wouldn't you like to pass the ketchup to someone like me? Please?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Have you noticed they moved...where they do the interview on Jeopardy? Yeah. It was in the middle of Single Jeopardy. Now it's after Single Jeopardy.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Then all I have to do is buy postcards...and have your parents mail them from Paris.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "He's probably better off.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Because George...is a deeply disturbed individual.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, or if ever on Fifth Avenue here in New York City.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "See, when people like you die...the widows, they bring in their wardrobes.", "c": ["Rudy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "What happens if the husband dies after the wife? Who brings the clothing in then? I suppose the children do. Yes, I suppose they do.", "c": ["Helen", "Rudy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "What plans? We have plans. Where did you get plans? We have plans.", "c": ["Morty", "Helen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Jerry, we don't care much for the Costanzas. We can't stand them.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "I didn't think you could detect...abnormal behavior among your own kind.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "A bit of a close talker. A what? You'll see.", "c": ["Jerry", "Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "They're exhausting. It's like being in an asylum.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Aaron standing uncomfortably close to Jerry's parents while talking", "c": ["Aaron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, that will happen.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Sorry, pal. Wish I could help you out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Again with the pepper? What do you gotta use all that pepper for? Keep quiet. You trying to set my mouth on fire?", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Don't you think he had to be...nearsighted? Nobody would paint like that if they could see. It's all out of focus.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "He's from the Impressionist school, you know...like Monet, Manet, Tippy-tippy-day-day.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Hey, you must be Aaron. I've heard about you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Why would they? Nobody bought them then.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "This is like the meeting of Smith and Wesson.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "The Eiffel Towers.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "George, you have no idea how fantastic this is. Fantastic? Yeah.", "c": ["Alec", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "They bought me a Coke.", "c": ["Aaron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "So I took out my belt, just to threaten him...and I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Jack, it's Morty. Who died?", "c": ["Morty", "Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "I guarantee you, Doris won't let him mail those boxes.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Maybe it was a mouse. Okay, that's it! We're moving!", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "I will not tolerate infestation.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Could you make it 225? That was his high game in bowling.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "I'm just selling some of Dad's things. That's what he would have wanted.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "They had plans, huh? They had plans!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "These the same people you live with? Yes. Absolutely.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Is that a coincidence?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Aaron standing too close to everyone in the office", "c": ["Aaron"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "He looks better on TV.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "My idiot son could open that garage door. What did I do?", "c": ["Jack", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "A raincoat salesman. I could buy and sell him, like that.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "A mouse! I saw a mouse! It's the remote.", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "I'm not crazy about used clothes. I mean, they call it vintage...you know, to take your mind off what it really is, nasty-wear.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "It actually becomes underwear vapor. We don't even throw it out. We just open a window...and it goes out like dandelion spores.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "The whole movie was in black and white. Oh, yeah, I didn't even realize.", "c": ["Jerry", "Morty"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Twenty-five percent? It was your idea. Yeah, I know. You're doing all the legwork. That's right. He's ripping you off.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "All right, let's compromise. Twenty-five percent. Okay, it's a deal.", "c": ["Kramer", "Morty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't actually get to see the whole movie. Yeah, why not? I was kind of making out.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "You were making out during Schindler's List?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "He was moving on her like the stormtroopers into Poland.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "We started up a little during the coming attractions...and the next thing we knew the war was over.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "You stole my shirt, you son of a bitch! Give me that back. Give me that. Give me.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "A mouse! Egad! A mouse! In the bedroom!", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Hey, I got news for you, four-eyes...there's no way you're staying with us in Paris.", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "He said I was dead? That's right. That's what my life is worth to him, $25?", "c": ["Frank", "Rudy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "They need some water. Why? They'll get dehydrated on the plane! Get the Seinfelds some water! Please!", "c": ["Aaron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Did you ever notice he stood too close to you when he talked? No, I hadn't noticed.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "ATMs and urinals. I guess whenever someone's taking valuables...out of their pants, you wanna give them as much room as possible.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Raincoats (1)"}, {"t": "Don't you hate these people that talk into your mouth like you're a clown at a drive-through?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "You know how many people-? Too strong, too weak. Sometimes they give you the three-quarter handshake, just the fingers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "I have actually said to people, 'Hey, the handshake is over.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "That's three strikes. You're out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "I'm getting a little backed up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Maybe this will become, like, a cool thing, living with your parents. Then maybe baldness will catch on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Hey, believe me, baldness will catch on. When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to? Who do you think's gonna be getting tour of the ship? The baldies.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Did you see the mug on that kid? Wouldn't you like to pass the ketchup to someone like me? Please?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Have you noticed they moved where they do the interview on Jeopardy? Yeah. It was in the middle of Single Jeopardy. Now it's after Single Jeopardy. Yeah. It's much better, isn't it? Oh, no comparison.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "So I tell Alec that I have to go to Paris for an undetermined amount of time. Then all I have to do is buy postcards and have your parents mail them from Paris.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Because George is a deeply disturbed individual.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Yeah, or if ever on Fifth Avenue here in New York City. You can get some there.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "See, when people like you die, the widows, they bring in their wardrobes. They make a bundle.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "What happens if the husband dies after the wife? Who brings the clothing in then? I suppose the children do. Yes, I suppose they do.", "c": ["Morty", "Helen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "What plans? We have plans. Where did you get plans? We have plans.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "I didn't think you could detect abnormal behaviour among your own kind.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "A bit of a close talker. A what? You'll see.", "c": ["Jerry", "Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "They're exhausting. It's like being in an asylum.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Sorry, pal. Wish I could help you out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Again with the pepper? What do you gotta use all that pepper for? Keep quiet. You trying to set my mouth on fire?", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Don't you think he had to be nearsighted? Nobody would paint like that if they could see. It's all out of focus. He's from the Impressionist school, you know, like Monet, Manet, Tippy-tippy-day-day.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Hey, you must be Aaron. I've heard about you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "The Executive was a classic. These haven't been made in 20 years. Why would they? Nobody bought them then.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "This is like the meeting of Smith and Wesson.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "An apartment complex. The Eiffel Towers.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "George, you have no idea how fantastic this is. We've been trying to reunite Joey with his father who lives in Paris. But he's afraid to fly alone.", "c": ["Alec"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Gee, what a coincidence.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "You didn't feel uncomfortable spending the whole day at the museum with two complete strangers who are more than twice your age? No. It was fun. You had fun with Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld? Yeah. They bought me a Coke.", "c": ["Elaine", "Aaron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "So I took out my belt, just to threaten him, and I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Who died? Nobody died. Jack, I want you to do me a big favour.", "c": ["Jack", "Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "You think you're gonna sell those old crappy raincoats? That's garbage. I guarantee you, Doris won't let him mail those boxes.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Maybe it was a mouse. Okay, that's it! We're moving! What? I will not tolerate infestation.", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Could you make it 225? That was his high game in bowling.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "They had plans, huh? They had plans! Boy, I've never seen these before. They just came in. Part of my springtime cruise collection.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "It's gonna be very interesting, very interesting if they don't show up tonight. You know, my mother made all this paella. What is that anyway? It's a Spanish dish. It's a m\u00e9lange of fish and meat with rice. Very tasty.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "If you think it's too much, they don't have to mail the postcards.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "I was able to finagle two more tickets to My Fair Lady and I thought, why not ask Morty and Helen?", "c": ["Aaron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "We better not. They're gonna be here any second. When are they leaving? In two days. It's been so long. I know. Okay. It's only two more days. Right. Thursday, 3:00.", "c": ["Jerry", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "We saw Regis Philbin get out of a limousine. He looks better on TV.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "You know, I still got that pen, the one that writes upside down. Yeah. I should have kept it.", "c": ["Jack", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Get the hell out of here with your knob! What does he want from you? My idiot son could open that garage door. What did I do?", "c": ["Jack", "Doris"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "They were drinking champagne in a buggy! First Kramer, then Elaine? Yeah. It's a slap in the face.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "A mouse! I saw a mouse! It's the remote.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Where the hell are my clothes? I love those clothes. Lousy, moth-ridden crap.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "They call it vintage, you know, to take your mind off what it really is, nasty-wear.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Men hang on to underwear until each individual underwear molecule is so strained it can barely retain the properties of a solid. It actually becomes underwear vapour.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "What'd you think of the black and white? The black and white? The whole movie was in black and white. Oh, yeah, I didn't even realise.", "c": ["Jerry", "Morty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "You're doing all the legwork. That's right. He's ripping you off. You're right. He's ripping me off. You should be getting more. He's ripping me off. Don't let him take advantage of you.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "All right, let's compromise. Twenty-five percent. Okay, it's a deal.", "c": ["Kramer", "Morty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "You were making out during Schindler's List? I couldn't help it. We hadn't been alone in a long time. It got the better of me.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "He was moving on her like the storm troopers into Poland.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "We started up a little during the coming attractions and the next thing we knew the war was over.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "You stole my shirt, you son of a bitch! George, your friends up in the attic, stealing my clothes! Give me that back. Give me that. Give me.", "c": ["Frank", "George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "You're gonna take this kid to Paris? I get a free trip to Paris. I go in the Big Brothers' Hall of Fame. I mail my own postcards.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "He said I was dead? That's right. Squeezed an extra $25 out of me. That's what my life is worth to him, $25?", "c": ["Frank", "Rudy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "They need some water. Why? They'll get dehydrated on the plane! Get the Seinfelds some water! Please!", "c": ["Aaron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "A heavyset fellow. I believe he lives in your building.", "c": ["Mr. Goldstein"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "Where the hell is your father?", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "ATMs and urinals. I guess whenever someone's taking valuables out of their pants, you wanna give them as much room as possible.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Fire"}, {"t": "The human fascination with water is amazing... unless it rains. Then we're like, 'Oh, look, I'm soaked.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "For some reason, we have a huge problem with small, flying water.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Everyone cover your water bottles! Run!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Put that on the top of your list. Not for me. A little too delightful.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "It's like she signed a letter of intent.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Israeli soldiers carry it in case they're captured behind enemy lines. They eat it, and it kills them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "I never tasted a cough medicine I didn't love. Me too. I love cough medicine.", "c": ["George", "Jane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "If I reach out and touch her breast now, she'd throw me out of the car. But at this time tomorrow, I could touch it all I want.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Sex is like joining a private club. I'll be the same me tomorrow, but suddenly the 'no trespassing' sign will be gone.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Who are you, Mrs. Robinson?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "No, that's not sweetening the deal.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Yo-Yo Ma. Boutros Boutros-Golly.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Nice rack.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Maybe she's trying to create a buzz. You know, get some good word of mouth going.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Isn't he gorgeous? Oh, he's... Eww... Is he gorgeous?", "c": ["Carol", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Is it me, or was that the ugliest baby you have ever seen?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "It was like a Pekinese.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "A little too much chlorine in that gene pool.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "It's a must-lie situation.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Breathtaking? I'm breathtaking?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "It's like going back in time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "The tomato never really took off as a hand fruit.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "The tomato's an anomaly, so successful with the ketchup and the sauce, but you can't find a good one.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "I saw Jane topless.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Face-up on her back? Yeah. Well, why'd she do that? Well, I guess she was hot.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Think of me as a doctor.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "If she was a criminal and you had to describe her to a police sketch artist... They'd pick her up in about ten minutes.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "It's like I'm Neil Armstrong. I turn around for a sip of Tang, and you jump out first!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Nobody ever called me 'breathtaking' before. I've never been called 'breathtaking' either.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "If he thinks that that baby is breathtaking, then who's not breathtaking?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "No, I was just wondering if you guys, uh... had any gum. So you were swimming in the pool, and you wanted some gum. Yes. Because the water was cold, and the, uh, chewing warms me up.", "c": ["George", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "I was in the pool!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "You mean shrinkage. Yes. Significant shrinkage.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Women aren't like us. They're worse! They're much worse than us. They talk about everything!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Do women know about shrinkage? What do you mean, like laundry?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Like a frightened turtle.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "You're so... pious. I really respect that. You know, when you die, you're gonna get some special attention.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "My T-shirt shrunk. It used to be much bigger, and now it shrunk. See, that's what water does. It shrinks things.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Those are commercial lobster traps. You can't take lobsters from there. That's against the law.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "My father was a lobsterman. He got up every morning at 4 and came home at night stinking of brine. He sent me through law school with the lobsters he caught.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Some ugly baby, huh? What did you say? I said, uh... some... snuggly baby.", "c": ["Jerry", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Well, you know, Elaine, sometimes you say a thing like that just to be nice.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "There was shrinkage!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "No, I'm sorry, honey. Not on my watch.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Good morning. Hey. Morning. Morning. Kramer.", "c": ["Rachel", "Jerry", "Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "The whole breakfast is breathtaking.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "There's lobster in these eggs? Not that much. They shrink in the water.", "c": ["Rachel", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "There he is, officer. Yeah.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Don't you ever knock?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "Look at the work people will do to get to the ocean. They'll fight the traffic and the heat and the parking and the hot sand, trying to get through the waves, and the ironic thing is, the ocean doesn't even really want us in there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "That's what surfing is. Surfing is the ocean throwing us out of itself. The ocean is like a nightclub, and the waves are bouncers tossing us out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "The undertow's like the really mean bouncer. Instead of throwing you out, they take you in back and rough you up a little bit. 'Oh, you wanna come in? How about coming in, like, 25 miles?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "The Hamptons"}, {"t": "It's hard to justify, at this point in human history... the existence of men and their handkerchiefs.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Wallet, keys, mucous. Yup, got everything.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Is it because men can't give birth... are they just proud of anything that comes out of us?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "We'll actually have a monogram sewn onto it... I have a snot rag.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I mean, of course, I deserve it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I don't fool around, baby.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "It's not working, Jerry.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast. Chicken salad on rye... untoasted with a side of potato salad... and a cup of tea.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Chicken salad is not the opposite of tuna. Salmon's the opposite of tuna because salmon swim... against the current, and the tuna swim with it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Good for the tuna.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Elaine, bald men with no jobs and no money... who live with their parents... don't approach strange women.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "If every instinct you have is wrong... then the opposite would have to be right.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "My name is George. I'm unemployed, and I live with my parents.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 9.18, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I'm Victoria. Hi.", "c": ["Victoria"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "You're going on Regis and Kathie Lee? Oh, you better believe it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Coffee tables.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "You know who you are? Even Steven.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Why shave every day? Just grows right back.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to watch the movie!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Try me. Because I would love it!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I'm the opposite of every guy you've ever met.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "So you heard that I was in a car accident... and then decided to stop off for some Jujyfruit?", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "If you got into a car accident... I can guarantee you I wouldn't stop for Jujyfruits.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "It's a coffee table book... about coffee tables. Is that clever?", "c": ["Regis"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "See, the beauty of my book is, if you don't have a coffee table... it turns into a coffee table.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "All over my Kathie Lee Casuals.", "c": ["Kathie Lee"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Because I got popcorn too. I ate that first.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Hey, I just found $20.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "A job with the New York Yankees! This has been the dream of my life ever since I was a child.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "this is my religion.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Well, I guess your messiah would be the Antichrist.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "My last job was in publishing. I got fired for having sex in my office with the cleaning woman.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I find it hard to see the logic behind some of the moves... you have made with this fine organization... take our beloved Yankees and reduce them... to a laughingstock", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Hire this man.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I didn't know who he was. That's why there's a buzzer.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I'll tell you what the big advantage of homosexuality is. If you're going out with someone your size... right there, you double your wardrobe.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "See, things always even out for me. It's fine. Anyway, it's been really nice dating you for a while... and good luck.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I put Canadian quarters... in the washing machine.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Was that the opposite of what you were going to say... or was that just your natural instinct?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Mr. Lippman. You forgot your handkerchief. It's on my desk.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I can't shake your hand right now. Germs.", "c": ["Lippman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Opposite.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I must've had eight in my mouth. I couldn't talk. I couldn't talk.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "You knew he had a cold. How did you expect him to blow his nose?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I'm George. I'm George.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "So I had a little conversation today with Mr. Don Mattingly. He's the first baseman. We talked about his new batting stance.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "Let's call it even.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "The Opposite"}, {"t": "I've always wondered why baseball is so associated with sex. 'He's playing the field. He scored. He didn't get to first base.' 'I struck out.' 'Why?' 'She wanted a diamond.' It's always baseball, always baseball.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "As far as baseball goes, I prefer the fat umpires. If you're on the field and not in the game... you should be in the worst physical condition a human could be in.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "They should be allowed to eat during the game.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "People come home from these games: 'We won, we won!' No, they won, you watched.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "No, not really. I'm just saying this to you because I like to hear myself talk.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "You know they used to make leisure suits out of this fabric?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Now, there's a career path you may have overlooked.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "I'm watching my height. My doctor doesn't want me to get any taller.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "I was almost Mr. Coffee. They felt I was a little too relaxed.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "I'm not sure if she's allowed to talk.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "You can't have a little grace. You either have grace or you don't.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "I don't have grace, I don't want grace... I don't even say grace, okay?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "I have no chance, do I? - No.", "c": ["Elaine", "Interviewer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Mrs. Onassis'. That's hard to pronounce.", "c": ["Secretary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "They'll slap that Miss Congeniality on you... you'll congenial yourself right out of the contest.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "They're never in contention. - How do you know? - Because I've seen every Miss America pageant since I was 6.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Well, you don't want too much grace, or you won't be able to stand.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Imagine playing games... and your team is 5 degrees cooler than the other team. Don't you think that would be an advantage?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Maybe you could pick me up some underwear.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "These girls are Miss America contestants. It's every little girl's dream. I'm not gonna let you trample that dream... and make a mockery of everything the pageant stands for.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Tape her breasts together.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Now, you're very attractive, but you got a big waist.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "I'm thinking of a number from one to 10. - Six. - No, five. - But you were close.", "c": ["Karen", "Jerry", "Karen", "Karen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Well, you got brown eyes. You wanna wear a green dress.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Oh, shut the up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Oh, you're pooh-poohing? - Yes, I pooh-pooh.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "I'm taking this kid to the top. To the top, Jerry. We're going for the crown, and you can't stop her. - I don't wanna stop her. - You can't stop her, Jerry!", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Paul O'Neill, 'I never dreamed anything could be so soft and fluffy.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "There's no elastic. You need to pull too much.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I must have them today.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "If you stumble, if you hesitate, you can kiss the crown goodbye. Now, if I told you once, I've told you a thousand times, poise counts! It's just as important as the others. Swimsuit, eveningwear, talent, poise!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "For a while, yes, but not in the long run.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "I want a decent sock that's comfortable... that will stay on my foot!", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Well, good night, Ollie. - Good night, Stan.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "These doves were murdered.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "You know what I think, Jerry? I think somebody murdered those doves. Somebody who was just eaten up with jealousy. Somebody who couldn't stand to have the spotlight taken off of them.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Don't think that you've won, because you haven't. This kid is a fighter. And if you think I'm gonna let a couple of dead birds get in our way... you're crazy!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "It's like watching an animal get tortured.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "They're running like penguins.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Mattingly just split his pants. - That's a shame.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "The Miss America pageant seems like a really tough contest. You come out there in the bathing suit and the dress shoes. They got that sanitized-for-your-protection toilet-seat thing hanging off them, you know?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "The bathing suit is the contest. You win the bathing suit, you win. Everybody looks good in formalwear. It's dark, it covers everything. That's why we have weddings in it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "If we had weddings in bathing suits... a lot of ceremonies wouldn't get past: 'If anyone sees any reason... why these two people should not be joined together...' About 80 hands go up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "The Chaperone"}, {"t": "I find it fascinating, when you go in the stationery store... that they're manufacturing millions of pens constantly. We're all buying them. I must have bought 6000 Bics in my life. I've used up maybe two of them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Where's the rest of them? Move a refrigerator, there's a couple there. But that doesn't account for it. Where are all the pens?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "That's why it's embarrassing if you don't have one. 'You got a pen? Can I borrow a pen?' We always have to whisper... because it's so humiliating. 'I don't have a pen.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "And your last name? - It's just Elaine. Like Cher.", "c": ["Store Clerk", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "I think he got ideas. - I wonder if any woman ever said that about Einstein.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Oh, hi. Elaine's my middle name. - Mine's Ike.", "c": ["Julie", "Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Just had a big bowl of Kix. - Oh, well, that's very mature.", "c": ["Jerry", "Julie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "What's in the big salad? - Big lettuce, big carrots. Tomatoes like volleyballs.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "People on dates shouldn't be allowed out in public. It's embarrassing for them. It's painful for us to watch.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "I'm going out with someone later, I'm not even taking her out. - Good for you. - I don't need people staring at us.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "The rules clearly state you cannot clean the ball unless it's on the green. - The rules are clear about that. - Certainly are.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Hey, a rule is a rule. And let's face it, without rules, there's chaos.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "The quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons... is Bobby Hebert, no R... H-E-R-B-E-R-T... Hebert, H-E-B-E-R-T. Hebert. It's a fun name to pronounce. Try and say it. Hebert.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Did you see what just happened here? - Well, that all depends.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Did you happen to notice that Julie handed the big salad to Elaine? - Yeah, so? - Well, she didn't buy the big salad. I bought the big salad.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "You buy a big salad for somebody, it would be nice if they knew it. - Obviously.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Generally speaking, you don't need any extra incentive... to murder a dry cleaner. I wouldn't worry about it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "It's just that I was the one that actually paid for the big salad. She just happened to hand it to you. But it's no big deal.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Just a small miscommunication whereby you thanked her... instead of the person actually responsible... for the purchasing of the big salad.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "We used to go out. - Well, toodle-loo.", "c": ["Margaret", "Newman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "You went out with Newman? - Just a few times. - Why?", "c": ["Jerry", "Margaret"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Newman. She went out with Newman. It must be a mistake. - No. It isn't.", "c": ["Jerry", "Margaret"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Newman never stops seeing anybody. Newman will see whoever is willing to see him. So the question, then, is not so much why did she see him... but why did he, Newman, stop seeing her?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Perhaps there's more to Newman than meets the eye. - No. There's less.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "I've looked into his eyes. He's pure evil. - Maybe he's an enigma. A mystery wrapped in a riddle. - Yeah. He's a mystery wrapped in a Twinkie.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Otherwise George will make me buy him lunch... to make up for that big salad he bought me yesterday.", "c": ["Julie"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "She just didn't do it for me. - What is wrong with her? - Well, if you're happy with her... that's all that matters. - You don't think she's attractive? - No. I need a really pretty face.", "c": ["Newman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Poor Pinkus. Poor little Pinkus.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "I think I could have played with dolls if there were dolls in the house. It seems like fun to me. It doesn't seem like a gender thing. I think I would like to play with dolls.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Are you suggesting that I went out of my way to tell Elaine... that even though you handed her the big salad, that it came from me? - That's what I'm suggesting.", "c": ["George", "Julie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "George, all I did was hand someone a bag.", "c": ["Julie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Well, then how about going out with me? - Okay.", "c": ["Store Clerk", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Newman ruined it. All I could think of... when I was looking at her face was, 'Newman found this unacceptable.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "You know, if it was a regular salad, I wouldn't have said anything. But you had to have the big salad!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "Yeah, this is Kramer. I got Gendason in the car. Now, he wants to see his fish. I'm taking him to see his fish, so tell the police to back off.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "My name is Kramer. You know who I am, damn it!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "To me, murder doesn't even really seem like that great of a revenge. Wouldn't years of subtle psychological mind games be a lot more satisfying?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "After a while they go, 'I wish this guy would kill me. I can't take it anymore!'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "How come when the police catch some really bad criminal... they put him in the handcuffs, hit him with the baton... put the chokehold on him, but then they don't want him to hurt his head... when they're putting him in the patrol car. 'Watch your head. Don't hit that metal edge there. That really hurts.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Big Salad"}, {"t": "They're like these little $1 folded-paper emotional prostitutes", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Hallmark hooker", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Happy birthday, merry Christmas, happy anniversary, congratulations, it's a boy and our deepest sympathies. Signed, The whole office.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "If I was flattering myself, I think I'd come up with someone a little less annoying than Noreen", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "The guy with the really high voice", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "What, I get a percentage of every pledge I bring in, right?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "No. It's not aluminum siding. It's volunteer work.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Noreen's not here. This is Dan.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "No, this is Dan.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Is this it in the trash?", "c": ["Kristin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "You signed your name and you addressed the envelope. It's not like you painted the picture and wrote the poem.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Yeah, she puts $10 in every birthday card. That's why I save them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "She wants you to spend the money, to have the fun that she can't have. This is tantamount to a slap in the face.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "A gift not enjoyed is like a flower that doesn't blossom.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "If my parents had a mantel, I might be a completely different person.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Do your thing where you lie to everyone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Her brother just had a book of political cartoons published.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Mr. Pitt eats his Snickers bars with a knife and fork.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "That's the way these society types eat their candy bars.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "That's the extra toast. Get it?", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "She gave me the finger. That's how waitress types express derision. They don't wanna get their mouths dirty.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "For trying to have the Yankees reach another strata of society that might not watch Channel 11.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "How do you eat it, with your hands?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "You wanted a Yankee, I got you a Yankee.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Pending approval of the script. Jerry, I'm Yankee management.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "I don't believe it. She did it again! Oh, she had an itch. Had an itch. She could have used any finger. That finger was meant for me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "The bank. It burned. It's gone.", "c": ["Man on street"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Your nana is missing because she's been passing those bum checks all over town and she finally pissed off the wrong people.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Well, he does raise his voice occasionally, but that's normal. No. No, no. Not a loud talker... a high talker.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "You don't think his voice sounds a lot like yours?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Great. I'm going out with a man who sounds like a woman.", "c": ["Noreen"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "I'm eating this cookie. No, no. But why are you using a knife and fork? Did you just think of that? No. I've seen people do it. I like it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Hey, watch it! Did you see that guy? He just gave me the finger. Oh, yeah! Middle finger, straight up, at me. At us.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Listen, Jerry doesn't wanna talk to you. Nobody wants to talk to you, so why don't you just drop dead.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "You told Nana to drop dead. It's possible. Yes, it is.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "No one gives us the finger. We're Yankees.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "I was promised tote bags, and tote bags I shall have.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Here. If anybody asks you where you got it, you don't know. No, that's okay, I really don't need... What are you talking about? It's not necessary. Would you please take the...? I can't take it. I want you to have it. Jerry, take the money! I don't want it!", "c": ["Leo", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Well, this situation's driving me crazy. He's all I think about. I can't get him out of my mind. Well, I'm sorry, fella. I mean, I know what it's like to be in love. It just ties you up in knots. And Jerry is a very sexy man.", "c": ["Dan", "Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "In fact, we here at PBS, we have many programs celebrating your lifestyle. Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City, gender-bending and swinging in San Francisco.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "I believe you cut me off and then made an obscene gesture. I did? Where? Outside of Manhattan about an hour ago.", "c": ["George", "Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "And as we speak, she's generously writing PBS a check for $1500! She can't do that. She's on a very fixed income. Stop the show!", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Isn't this little bunny giving you the...? Yes, he is.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "Look, she's cutting up an Almond Joy. I just don't get it. I saw someone on the street eating M&M's with a spoon.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "What is wrong with all you people? Have you all gone mad?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Pledge Drive"}, {"t": "The thing I admire about the Chinese is they're hanging in there with the chopsticks. Because if you think about it, they've seen the fork by now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Thousands of years ago, Chinese farmer gets up, has his breakfast with the chopsticks, goes out and works all day in the field with a shovel. Hello? Shovel? Not going out there plowing 40 acres with a couple of pool cues.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Good shave today. Don't worry, I can manage these bags. Really, I'm fine.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "A long-talker. Yeah. He is so boring. Now whenever he answers the phone, I just hang up.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Hey, isn't that George's father? Oh, yeah, it is. Should we say hello? I've never seen him in Manhattan before. It's weird. It's so out of context.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "That man he's with... is he wearing a cape? I believe he is wearing a cape.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Why is Mr. Costanza with a man in a cape? Well, it is good cape weather. Cool, breezy. Why a cape? Who wears a cape? Where do you even get a cape?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "In fact, let's cross to the other side of the street. Cover me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Hey, it's George. I got nothing to say.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Should've talked. I love Chinese women. Isn't that a little racist? If I like their race, how can that be racist?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "You know, I dig Asian women.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "I thought you wore silk underwear. No. I wore them for a month, but I couldn't stick with it. I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "My first date ever with the Pacific Rim. I'm very excited.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "You never slipped one past the goalie in all these years?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "You've slept with a lot of women. A lot of women!", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "But what if I am? I'm the last male Kramer. We're facing extinction.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Into a cup in the middle of the day? What, does that conflict with your regular schedule?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "She's Chinese, so you suggest Chinese food? She suggested it. I thought Chinese don't eat Chinese. She's very assimilated.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "You can't get one ring past him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Why was he wearing a cape? Was my father wearing a cape? No, jacket and tie. No cape.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Why a cape?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Are you planning to start a family? Yes, I would like to very much. I'm low, aren't I? I can feel it.", "c": ["Doctor", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "It's over. The Kramer name is finished. I'm never gonna procreate, huh?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "All the time? All the time. You have to get off Jockeys right away. But I've always worn Jockeys.", "c": ["Doctor", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm calling from a car phone, so I don't really have time to talk. Well, yes, it has been unseasonably cool lately. Yeah, I tip 20 percent too.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Lookit, Paul, the car seems to be running out of gas so I'm gonna have to get off the phone.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "I secondhand smoke two packs a day.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "You're Donna Chang? Did you think I was Chinese? No. What, you mean because of the 'Chang'?", "c": ["Jerry", "Donna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Actually, the family name wasn't originally Chang. I didn't think so. Used to be 'Changstein.'", "c": ["Donna", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "She's not Chinese? No, not Chinese. Not even Asian. So, what is she? Well, she's like you. Oh, how disappointed you must have been.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Well, it's false advertising, see? And the thing is, I think she likes people thinking she's Chinese. She suggests Chinese food... she always introduces herself as Donna Chang.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Paul and Noreen broke up because you kept hanging up on him? If Paul thought it was some guy hanging up because he was having an affair with Noreen.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Look, you gotta help me. I have to get off Jockey shorts. What, you have low sperm count? Very low. Come on, take them. I don't want them.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "If I have one pair in my house, I'll wear them. I'm not gonna be able to sleep if those are in the house.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Boxers! How do you wear these things? Look at that. They're bagging up. They're rising here. And there's nothing holding me in place. I'm flipping, I'm flopping.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "What am I gonna do? Jerry, I'm going crazy in these things.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Well, I'm gonna have to move now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "You know what I like about Manhattan? There's no mosquitoes. There's plenty of mosquitoes. Queens is full of mosquitoes. Gnats, too, if I'm not mistaken.", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Your mother has to tell you every move I make? I'll kill her. Jerry and Elaine saw you. They didn't say hello? They were in a rush. They couldn't just say hello? Ah, the hell with them.", "c": ["Frank", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Elaine, I can see not saying hello. She's very... What's the word? Supercilious. How could Jerry not say hello?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "It's really getting ridicurous. Did you say 'ridicurous'? Ridiculous. I thought you said... ridicurous.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Did you say the 'rines' are crossed?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Well, she told me she and your father are getting divorced.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "You know, it's a shame his parents didn't get divorced 30 years ago. He could've been normal.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "If they get divorced and live in two separate places, that's twice as many visits. I never thought of that. Imagine if I had to see them both on the same day. It's like running a double marathon.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "The man in the cape. I bet you he is mixed up in this. I don't trust men in capes.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "You can't cast dispersions on someone just because they're wearing a cape. Superman wore a cape. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and let you say something bad about him. All right, Superman's the exception.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Oh, no. What? What? Don't you see what's going on here? No boxers, no Jockeys. The only thing between him and us is a thin layer of gabardine.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Kramer, say it isn't so. Oh, it be so. I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm loving every minute of it!", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "I feel like a naked, innocent boy roaming the countryside.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "What kind of a sick person calls and hangs up over and over?", "c": ["Noreen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Well... I don't know about sick. I mean, maybe it was somebody who didn't wanna talk to whoever was answering because whoever was answering was always making boring chit-chat and was completely oblivious to the fact that the person who was calling didn't wanna speak to them.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "What are you doing to this woman? This is the second relationship you've ruined for her in a few weeks. I know. First you ruin her relationship with the high-talker. Well, I got confused. They sound exactly the same.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Apparently, you have a tremendous influence over this woman. Anything you say, she does.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "First, you encouraged her to join the army. She did. She was lost. Then you suggest she goes AWOL. She did. Well, she didn't seem to be having so much fun.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "They're not getting divorced. Why, what happened? She was trying to call George last night, she got me, we spoke for an hour, and she changed her mind.", "c": ["Donna", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Your lawyer wears a cape? Yeah. So what? Who wears a cape? He's very independent. He doesn't follow the trends. He looks ridiculous in that thing. You have no eye for fashion!", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "What did you tell Mrs. Costanza that changed her mind? Mentioned a few bits of wisdom from Confucius. Confucius, huh? You know, you're not Chinese.", "c": ["Jerry", "Donna", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "You're not Chinese.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "What, am I too boring for you? Would you just put her on? I feel it would be best that you didn't talk to Noreen for a while. You feel? That's right.", "c": ["Paul", "Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "From now on, I'll be calling the shots. And what are you gonna tell her? Well, I've encouraged her to go back into the army. There she'll get the structure and discipline she needs right now.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "I thought I was getting advice from a Chinese woman. I'm sorry. Well, then... that changes everything. What? She's not Chinese. I was duped!", "c": ["Estelle", "Donna", "Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "So what? She still gave you advice. What's the difference? I'm not taking advice from some girl from Long Island.", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Everybody listens to the Chinese. Look at the fortune cookie. You couldn't get away with that at other restaurants. Yeah, no one's reading any rolled up messages in a knish.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "I never had lunch with my mother before. It's like a date. Then we drive down to Kew Gardens, tons of traffic, I see my father. We played Clue. All day with this!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Hey, Jerry! Guess what? The Kramer name might live on! Noreen's late! She's late!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Who are you? I'm Frank Costanza's lawyer.", "c": ["Jerry", "Lawyer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "The Chinese Woman"}, {"t": "Love seat is interesting. Some guy thought: 'If they won't sit closer to us why not just shorten the furniture?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Why not call it the half-conscious-deadbeat-with-no-job-home-all-day...eating-Cheetos and-watching-TV recliner?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "And it goes back so far, that thing. I mean, go to bed already. It's over. You're wiped.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "So she got you to join a book club? I got a feeling I'm gonna be much smarter than you pretty soon.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Well, I think that statement alone reflects your burgeoning intelligence.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Breakfast at Tiffany's. Ninety pages.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, Truman Capote. - He's a great writer. - Oh, yeah. - Ever read anything by him? - No. You? No.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "I love this couch. The best part is it doesn't fold out...so no one can sleep over.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "In a way, I feel like I'm getting a new couch. Yeah, so do I.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "I can't wait to get me a fella and make my own pie.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "They got a duck there, you think you died and went to heaven.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "What do you think, Lainey? Well, I don't know. I'll have to sit on it. Oh, no, I don't want anyone sitting on it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "I'll see you chumps later.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Did you offer those guys a drink? No. Should I have? - What kind of a person are you? - I don't know.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Do you date moving men? You wanna know what I said? I can't wait. I do now.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Well, they're real men, Jerry. They get sweaty. So anyone sweaty in your house has to be offered a drink? Yes.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "It is so succulent, so succulent.", "c": ["Poppie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "My mother was taken from my house...by the communists in the middle of the night...when I was 10 years old. She was sent to a slave-labor camp...where she labored for 12 years. Finally, they released her...and she was on a boat to America to reunite with us. But she was served some bad fish, and she died on the high seas.", "c": ["Poppie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "So, what's good tonight?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "The owner contributes money...to those fanatical anti-abortion groups. So you won't eat the pizza? No way.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Well, perhaps we should inquire.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "It is more succulent than even I had hoped.", "c": ["Poppie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Poppie, I was just curious. Where do you stand on abortion?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Well, Poppie, I think differently. And what gives you the right to do that? The Supreme Court gives me the right to do that!", "c": ["Elaine", "Poppie"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Well, I'm certainly glad I brought it up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "And I have to say...it was pretty much all my fault.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "I say how's the book coming? Oh, pretty good. So, what's it about? Well, it's about Holly Golightly. Holly Golightly. Yeah, she's quite a character. Haven't read a page, have you? No.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "You're not very bright, are you? No, I'm not. I would like to be, but I'm not.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Why don't you rent the movie? Why don't I rent the movie? You see? This is when I like you.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Do you know I've been using the same bottle of shampoo for a year? And I shampoo every day. So, what do you think of my conversation? Not much.", "c": ["Elaine", "Carl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "You don't have any furniture? No, I hate furniture. I can't look at it. Oh, I can understand that.", "c": ["Elaine", "Carl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "A pretty good date, huh? Yeah, no heavy lifting.", "c": ["Elaine", "Carl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "A bottle of wine and a five-alarm chili? They're trying to kill Poppie? Why? Don't they know I have...a gastrointestinal disorder? If I would have any of this, I would die. Then Poppie's no good to anyone. This is a sick, sick joke on Poppie.", "c": ["Poppie", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "I'm in love! This is it, Jerry! This is it!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "No games? What is the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sure he's pro-choice. How do you know? Because he...Well...He's just so good-looking.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Maybe we could call them and ask them to return it. Sorry, we can't do that. Well, maybe they're done with it. I could go pick it up. I don't think so. It doesn't work that way.", "c": ["George", "Video Store Clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Excuse me, are you Joe Temple? Yes. Yes, you don't know me. My name is George Costanza. Did you happen to rent Breakfast at Tiffany's?", "c": ["George", "Joe Temple"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Kramer, what is this? What is what? This puddle on my sofa! What puddle? That puddle! I don't know. Is it...? Could it...? Could he have...? It is! Poppie peed on my sofa!", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "My new sofa! Poppie peed on my new sofa! I'm sure it'll come out. I don't care if it comes out. I can't sit on that anymore.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Just a natural human function. Happens to be on my sofa...instead of in the toilet, where it would normally be.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Well, as I say, the pinkeye made my vision quite blurry.", "c": ["Joe Temple"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "She got impregnated by her troglodytic half-brother...and decided to have an abortion.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "You know, someday...we're gonna get enough people on the Supreme Court to change that law.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "You know what I love? How there's two nuts named after people: Hazel and Filbert.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "You can't put cucumbers on a pizza. Why not? I like cucumbers. That's not a pizza. It will taste terrible. But that's the idea. Make your own pie. Yes, but we cannot give the people the right...to choose any topping they want. Now, on this issue, there can be no debate. What gives you the right to tell me how I make my pie? Because it's a pizza. It's not a pizza till it comes out of the oven. It's a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough. No, it isn't! Yes, it is!", "c": ["Poppie", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "I'll pause it, okay?", "c": ["Joe Temple"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "So who is this guy? He's in some book club. And what's he doing here? Cheating on his test.", "c": ["Joe's Wife", "Joe Temple"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "You didn't save it. I had the arm.", "c": ["George", "Joe's Daughter"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Look! Look what you did! You got grape juice all over our couch. You ruined our couch!", "c": ["Joe's Wife"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Did you tell him it was peed on? He said he doesn't care. He'll just turn the cushion over.", "c": ["Jerry", "Carl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "All I've got is grape juice. Throw it.", "c": ["Elaine", "Carl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "The couch!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "Well, not really. After all, she did get together with George Peppard. I mean, Fred. George, Fred's gay.", "c": ["George", "Book Club Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Couch"}, {"t": "I never figured out why they make these bizarre toilet seats. You know? Like those clear Lucite ones with all the coins in it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "It's a lovely tribute to our past president. It's not bad enough... Lincoln got shot in the head, we gotta drop our pants and sit on it too.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "I can't afford to throw money down the toilet, but look how close I am.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "I think she finds my stupidity charming. - As we all do.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "You know, I'm better with the mothers than I am with the daughters. - Maybe you should date the mothers.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "If I could talk to the mothers and have sex with the daughters, then I'd really have something going.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "That sex will melt your face.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Kramer, there's always a price to pay for just a sexual dalliance. Jerry, you should pay that price.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "She's Romanian. What will I talk to her about? Ceausescu?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Ch... What?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "I'm putting my shirt back on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "I take it off when I go to the... You know, to the office.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "What for? Frees me up, no encumbrances. - Unbuttoned or all the way off? - All the way, baby.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "I tell you, knowing you is like going into the jungle. I never know what I'm gonna find next, and I'm real scared.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Under no circumstances is ink to be used in this office.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's 3-D art. Computers generate them, big computers.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Yeah! [Kramer seeing the image]", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "You ever dream in 3-D? It's like the boogeyman is coming right at you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Oh, Mama. [Kramer's back spasm]", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Very close. Almost painfully close.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Hey, let's do this again real soon. I had fun.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "[Mrs. Enright's shocked reaction to seeing George shirtless in kitchen]", "c": ["Mrs. Enright", "George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "So Ceausescu, he must have been some dictator. Yes, he was not shy about dictating.", "c": ["Jerry", "Katya"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "He must have been dictating first thing in the morning. - I want a cup of coffee and a muffin. - And you could not refuse.", "c": ["Jerry", "Katya"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an eclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: 'What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "It wasn't down in. It was sort of on top. - But it was in the cylinder. - Above the rim. Adjacent to refuse is refuse.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "You, my friend, have crossed the line that divides man and bum. You are now a bum.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "It's a stony mineral concretion formed abnormally in the kidney. And this jagged shard of calcium pushes its way through the ureter into the bladder. It's forced out through the urine.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "The stock swap. Let's swap some stock.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Moland? I wouldn't drink anything called Moland. But it was Mr. Pitt's idea.", "c": ["Elaine", "Business executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "No, Lindsay, it was not in the garbage. It was above the garbage. Hovering like an angel.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Listen, can I tell you something else? In my family we used to eat out of the garbage all the time. It was no big thing.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Kramer, you know, guys like you with no conscience don't know what it's like for guys like me. I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider people's feelings.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "All right, Jerry, are you familiar with the Kama Sutra? - No. - Tantric yoga. - No.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "I guess that's better than eating it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Watch the tuck, handstand, half turn... giant into a straddle, back into another handstand... nice kip, reverse hecht.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Perhaps you'd like to keep the tape. I'll take that as a yes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "It is amazing, after years of training, how one can contort one's body. Of course, it is only useful in gymnastics.", "c": ["Katya"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "I couldn't believe it. I thought I was entering a magical world of sensual delights. It was just so ordinary. There was nothing gymnastic about it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Did you think she was gonna take some of that chalk and... - I really don't wanna get into it.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Well, frankly, I thought, you know, I was gonna be like the apparatus.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "You mean like the uneven parallel bars? - Again, I don't feel like... - The balance beam? - Could we stop? - Not the pommel horse.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "No, I tried to do a reverse hecht off my couch, and I didn't make it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "[George accidentally spilling coffee on a man's windshield and then cleaning it like a squeegee man]", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "You're not gonna make a dime without a squeegee.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "But I'm afraid of clowns.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "I like the name Moland. I picked it out.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "When the elephants came by, he would scream curses at them, blaming them for all the ills of society.", "c": ["Katya"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Well, they certainly take up a lot of space.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "No! You don't see it, and you're never gonna see it!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Sorry I took so long. They've got one of those 3-D art posters in there. It's mesmerizing.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "I have been accused of wrongdoing, but these false accusations will not deter us. We will annex Poland by the spring at any cost! And our stock will rise high.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "Misha said that was all the time I needed to put in.", "c": ["Katya"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "You may tell jokes, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld, but you are no comedian.", "c": ["Katya"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Gymnast"}, {"t": "No baron has ever owned a LeBaron.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Or the Ford LTD. LTD. Limited. It's a limited edition. What did they make, 50 million of those? Yes, it's limited to the number we can sell.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "The Integra. Oh, integrity? No, Integra.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "The Supra or the Impreza. Yeah? Well, I hope it's not a 'lemona.' Or you'll be hearing from my 'lawya.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "'89 Volvo. That's the car for me. It's the one I want. - I got a LeBaron convertible right here. - N.I., not interested.", "c": ["George", "Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Got a few more miles on it, but the previous owner was Jon Voight.", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "He's a dentist. You don't wanna go out with a dentist. - Why? - He'll always be criticising your brushing technique. It'll drive you crazy. Away from the gums.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "A LeBaron? I thought Consumer said Volvo was the car. What consumer? I'm the consumer.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "You bought a car because it belonged to Jon Voight? No. No. I think 'yes, yes.'", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "I've never even seen him in a car. I mean, look at his movies. No cars. Deliverance, canoe. Midnight Cowboy, boots. Runaway Train... runaway train.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Well, what's so great about a mom-and-pop store? Let me tell you, if my mom and pop ran a store, I wouldn't shop there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "I really don't wear the kind of shoes that have to be cobbled.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Well, he's got a Peter Pan complex.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Jerry, we're talking about Joe Buck. If you can play Joe Buck, Oskar Schindler's a cakewalk.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "You're not getting in my car with gummy shoes.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Everybody's talking at me / I can't hear a word they're saying / Just driving round in Jon Voight's car", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "I worked a club in Dallas once, and they couldn't pay me, so they gave me these.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "That's the genius of it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "All because of that idiot and his bloody nose.", "c": ["Pop"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Hey, you don't think? Sure. That's Jon Voight's pencil. With Jon Voight's teeth marks.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "I know sometimes I spell Jerry with a G. And an I.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Oh, look. There's Gregory Peck's bicycle. And Barbara Mandrell's skateboard.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Hey, cowboy. Where's your horse?", "c": ["Street thug"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Well, you know, J-O-N is a lot zippier.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Did he say, 'Why would Jerry bring anything?' Or, 'Why would Jerry bring anything?' Did he emphasise 'Jerry' or 'bring'?... I think he emphasised 'would.'", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Mom and Pop aren't even a mom and pop?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "So Mom and Pop's plan was to move into the neighbourhood... establish trust... for 48 years... and then run off with Jerry's sneakers?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "I suppose if I had suggested Liam Neeson Day... you'd all be patting me on the back.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "The way I feel when I go places with you?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Jon Voight bit you? What is he, a vampire?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "You're showing up at that party with a chewed-up pencil... and Kramer's gnarled arm?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Yeah. What is he, some sort of an instigator? That's right. He's a troublemaker.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Did you say, 'Jerry, I didn't think you'd show'... or, 'Jerry, I didn't think you'd show.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Yes! Yes! Yes, I'm the one. So you know Jon Voight? Yes. I went to dental school with him. Jon Voight, the actor? No. The periodontist.", "c": ["George", "Tim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "You popped Woody Woodpecker!", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "I was at a garage sale, and this old couple... sold me used sneakers... they claim belonged to Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian.", "c": ["Phone caller"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "The marching band is a perfect example... of taking something bad and making it difficult too.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "The human urge to wave at total strangers just moving by... is very strong, isn't it? Parades and ocean liners... and those little trains that go through amusement parks.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "What? No. Nothing. No, what is it? No, it's just that I didn't get one.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "Listen, Elaine, I've been wanting to ask you... would you like to go out with me New Year's Eve? Thanks. What? What?", "c": ["Tim", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "The Soup"}, {"t": "No baron has ever owned a LeBaron.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Or the Ford LTD. LTD. Limited. It's a limited edition. What did they make, 50 million of those? Yes, it's limited to the number we can sell.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "You know how they'll do that? The Integra. Oh, integrity? No, Integra.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Well, I hope it's not a 'lemona.' Or you'll be hearing from my 'lawya.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "N.I., not interested.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Jon Voight?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "He's a dentist. You don't wanna go out with a dentist. Why? He'll always be criticizing your brushing technique. It'll drive you crazy. Away from the gums.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "What consumer? I'm the consumer.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "I've never even seen him in a car. I mean, look at his movies. No cars. Deliverance, canoe. Midnight Cowboy, boots. Runaway Train... runaway train.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Well, of course you do. And you know why? Because you're a bunch of yuppies. It's your 'go, go' corporate-takeover lifestyles that are driving out these mom-and-pop stores and destroying the fabric of this neighborhood.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Well, what's so great about a mom-and-pop store? If my mom and pop ran a store, I wouldn't shop there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "I really don't wear the kind of shoes that have to be cobbled.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Well, he's got a Peter Pan complex.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "You know, in the 48 years we've been here... I don't think we've ever called an electrician.", "c": ["Pop"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "No. I'm still working on it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "My father was a stern man. He forbade us to participate in any activities that he thought were associated with the common man. The Thanksgiving Day Parade was first on the list.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "'Next Stop, Pottersville.' You are a genius.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Don't you see, that's the genius of it. If he had said Liam Neeson, you'd know he's making it up.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Jerry, we're talking about Joe Buck. If you can play Joe Buck, Oskar Schindler's a cakewalk.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Liam Neeson. You know he's not American.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Everybody's talking at me / I can't hear a word they're saying / Just driving round In Jon Voight's car", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Hey, where's all my sneakers? You said take them. Not all of them. Well, obviously, there was a miscommunication.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "I worked a club in Dallas one time, and they couldn't pay me... so they gave me these.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "You look like a cowboy. I don't wanna be a cowboy.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Why would you call someone for addresses if you're not invited to the party? That's the genius of it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Forty-eight years, Mom. And now we have to close. All because of that idiot and his bloody nose.", "c": ["Pop"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "You know you got a crack in the sidewalk? You ought to get that fixed.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Sure. That's Jon Voight's pencil. With Jon Voight's teeth marks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Doesn't Jon Voight spell his name J-O-N?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "I'm sure Jon probably misspelled his own name. I know sometimes I spell Jerry with a G. And an I.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Oh, look. There's Gregory Peck's bicycle. And Barbara Mandrell's skateboard.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Hey, cowboy. Where's your horse? Yeah, you better run.", "c": ["Street thugs"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "You know, maybe his name really is J-O-H-N... but he changed it to J-O-N for show business. Well, you know, J-O-N is a lot zippier.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "I've got the entire Yankee organization at my disposal. He'll dispose of it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Which word did he emphasize? Did he say, 'Why would Jerry bring anything?' Or, 'Why would Jerry bring anything?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "I think he emphasized 'would.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Mom and Pop aren't even a mom and pop? It was all an act, Jerry. They conned us, and they scored bigtime.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "So Mom and Pop's plan was to move into the neighborhood... establish trust... for 48 years... and then run off with Jerry's sneakers?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Apparently.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "He finds his laugh intoxicating.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "I suppose if I had suggested Liam Neeson Day... you'd all be patting me on the back.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Hey! Jon Voight! Jon Voight! Hey, listen. Can I ask you something? Listen. Do you...? Wait...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "The way I feel when I go places with you?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "His tooth marks. He bit me. Jon Voight bit you? What is he, a vampire?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "So you're showing up at that party with a chewed-up pencil... and Kramer's gnarled arm?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Dentist? Dentist? Are you a dentist?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Yeah. What is he, some sort of an instigator? That's right. He's a troublemaker.", "c": ["Elaine", "Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "What? I can't hear you! Where's Tim? What's that, the Empire State Building? What? I can't hear a word.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Hey, is that Jerry Seinfeld? Hey, he didn't come with us.", "c": ["Tim", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Did you say, 'Jerry, I didn't think you'd show'... or 'Jerry, I didn't think you'd show.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "The pencil. Get the pencil out of your mouth! You're destroying Jon Voight's teeth marks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Yes. I went to dental school with him. Jon Voight, the actor? No. The periodontist.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "You popped Woody Woodpecker!", "c": ["Party guest"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Hey, who invited you anyway? You're a troublemaker.", "c": ["Party guest"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Especially that big kid up in the front. How old is he?", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "I ain't going to no Bellevue. Look at me, I'm falling apart here.", "c": ["Pop"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "The marching band is a perfect example of taking something bad and making it difficult too.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "Maybe if they hold still, we could all leave. Is that why they do it? People try and get away. 'No, you don't. I'm right with you. Right with you, buddy.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "The human urge to wave at total strangers just moving by is very strong, isn't it? Parades and ocean liners and those little trains that go through amusement parks.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "It's always that bittersweet, kind of hello-goodbye combination wave, isn't it? Just: I've never seen these people before in my life and they're leaving.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "The Mom &Amp; Pop Store"}, {"t": "What's supposed to be so attractive about fur? Why does a man wanna see a woman in fur? Men want women with shaved legs, shaved armpits, plucked eyebrows. Then before we go out, we dress them up like a bear?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "To me, the only reason to wear fur would be if you were trying to sneak up on another animal. You ever see those tribal hunters wearing the fur with the other animal's head on top of their head?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "I'm sure there's a moose looking at that going, 'Yeah. That looks good. Yeah. I'm gonna turn my back on this goofball with the extra head because there's nothing fishy there. I'll just keep drinking from the stream. I've seen a lot of two-headed tigers with knees.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "You were taking messages for your mother. And now someone's gonna be taking messages for me. From your mother.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Sure, I could go the tomato route... but I've given this a lot of thought, Jerry. All that frustration, I'll never get any work done. So I'm doing a complete 360.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "That's a 180, George. Whatever.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Yeah. That's why I said 'hi.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "It really accentuates my bust line.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Well, Miss Coggins, you're obviously qualified for the job. You have all the necessary skills and experience... but you're extremely attractive. You're gorgeous. I'm looking at you, I can't even remember my name.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "So I'm afraid this is not gonna work out. Thanks for coming. You're luscious. You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "So you're saying, store, hotsy-totsy, Home, hotsy-notsy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Don't know why I didn't have one before. Because you didn't have a job? Perhaps.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "A lesser man would've crumbled. They would've gone for the dish and the sure-fire sexual harassment suit.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "You got no waist in that thing. And your arms look like something hanging in a kosher deli.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "This woman who was just walking by... said I looked like Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal. How fast was she walking?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "'Demi'? I thought it was 'Demi.' No, I think it's 'Demi.' Really? I never heard of a 'semi' tractor-trailer.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Skinny mirrors. Barneys has skinny mirrors. They make you look, like, 10 pounds lighter.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Moisturizer? That's girl stuff. No. Look, I'll tell you what.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Ada, you're a wonder. Okay. Now, I projected those figures for you regarding the switch... to canola oil for stadium popcorn. And surprisingly, it'll only cost half a cent more per bag... so it is definitely doable.", "c": ["George", "Ada"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Do you... Do you know what I'm... thinking about now? Yes. I think I do. Is it... doable? It's definitely doable.", "c": ["George", "Ada"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "He's got the kavorca.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "I think he was wearing my houndstooth jacket. What would he be doing wearing your jacket? It looked just like the jacket I brought in to be dry-cleaned.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "No, no, no. A better way to reach the bra... would be to undo the jacket then go around the back of the shirt. Ada, you're incredible.", "c": ["George", "Ada"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "I'm giving you a raise! Yes!", "c": ["George", "Ada"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "So you're having sex, then all of a sudden you just blurt out: 'I'm giving you a raise'?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "So you're so grateful to have sex, you'll shout out anything... that comes into your head. I didn't think ahead.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Maybe you could have sex with her again and then take it back.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "How long has she been there? Three days. It's almost a week.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "These mirrors are skinny mirrors. This is false... reflecting. And I think that the department of... you know, whatever... would be very interested to know what's going on here.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Wait till that Uma smells this UVA.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Forty-two? That's what I am now. I've been working out. I'm huge.", "c": ["Bania"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Surely you jest. One seventy-five? Look at the stitching. This is old-world craftsmanship. Three hundred dollars. Sold.", "c": ["Kramer", "Bania"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "There's nothing there I haven't seen before.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "She pretends to be a teacher. It's pathetic. What does that cost? Two and a quarter?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "She'd be better off making a sandwich and bringing it.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Specifically, 9:30 shows. Seen any good 9:30 shows at the Paragon, Willie?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Jerry, that's a breach of the dry cleaners' code. You need a code to tell you not to wear people's clothes?", "c": ["Willie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Oh, I know, but 25,000. So you got a $25,000-a-year raise? Yes. You're making more than I am.", "c": ["Ada", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Oh, this is insanity. I'm not this hip-y.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "You sold your pants to Bania? Let me in. Why'd you sell your pants to Bania? I had Uma Thurman's number written on that stub.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "How'd you expect to get out of here? Well, I didn't think ahead.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Well, I suppose that salt stain came from all the snow in the store.", "c": ["Salesperson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Your nancy-boy cream leaked all over the pockets. Suit's ruined.", "c": ["Bania"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "You give me the ticket... and I will take you out for a nice dinner. Can we go back to Mendy's? You wanna go to Mendy's, I'll take you to Mendy's. Twice. I wanna go twice.", "c": ["Jerry", "Bania"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Sometimes I can't even make up my mind. A lot of times, I'll mix the two together. Make a vanilla-fudge.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "The moisturizer smudged out the phone number. The dry-cleaning number's gone too. It must have been the botanical extracts.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Hey, isn't that my mother's fur coat? No, it's not. It is. Give me that back. What are you talking about? You out of your mind?", "c": ["Jerry", "Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "I told you Mendy's had the best pea soup. The best, Jerry. The best.", "c": ["Bania"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "It's a gamble. I get it.", "c": ["Bania"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Some woman named Uma. I got her number off that ticket before it was smudged. Hope she's good-looking.", "c": ["Bania", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "I don't wanna hear about the specials. I don't wanna know about the specials, I'm sick of the specials, I hate them. My feeling is, if the specials were so special, they'd be on the menu.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "The veal is lightly slapped... and then sequestered in a one-bedroom suite... with a white-wine intravenous.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "The Secretary"}, {"t": "Christmas tree disposal observation - thrown out like a mob hit", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Christmas spirit like a drunken stupor", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Wake up and realize there's a tree inside the house", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Superman/Clark Kent references - 'Why, I'd have to be Superman to do that, Lois'", "c": ["Jerry", "Lois"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Chinese restaurant blacklist threat", "c": ["Elaine", "Chinese delivery"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Maybe he's just very, well, Red", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Communist clothing diagnostic - 'bland, drab, olive-colored clothing'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Appearance not important ideology - 'Finally, this an ideology I can embrace'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "The race backstory - Jerry's false start creating a legend", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "'I choose not to run' - Jerry's dramatic refusal", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "'Faster than a speeding bullet, Lois' - Superman reference", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "'Yes, as a matter of fact, I am' - Ned's casual Communist admission", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Soviet empire collapse consolation - 'Well, you had a good run'", "c": ["Jerry", "Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Personal ads appearance question - 'Yours or hers?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Reindeer name confusion - 'On Donna' instead of 'Donner'", "c": ["Kramer", "Mickey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "It's gorgeous - George's over-the-top praise for backup plan", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Santa speaks all languages - Kramer's Santa philosophy", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Santa sweatshop complaint - 'This is like a sweatshop'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Office worker revolutionary - 'I'm here working for the people'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Communist shirt shopping refusal", "c": ["Elaine", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Santa labor organizing - Kramer recruiting department store Santas", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "George's shocked recognition reactions", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Did-you-ever-notice comedy dismissal", "c": ["Duncan"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "George's baldness observation - 'You really went bald there, didn't you?'", "c": ["Duncan", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "First million timing - balding coinciding with wealth", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Guggenheim addition claim - George's architectural lie", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Staying in touch with the people - crummy coffee shop excuse", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Miss Stafford virginity story - George's inappropriate deflection", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "'Race him, Jerry. Race him.' - Lois's encouragement", "c": ["Lois"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Santa Claus legend comparison", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Communist meat hierarchy - deli explanation", "c": ["Kramer", "Ned"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "George's Communist secretary confusion", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "'I choose not to run' - Jerry's continued refusal", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Father's blacklist backstory", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Ned Isaacoff name deception", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Anti-capitalist Santa - racing car set lecture", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "'Commie, commie, traitor to our country' - kid's reaction", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "'He controls the means of production' - Lois's explanation", "c": ["Lois"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "'She named names' - blacklist payoff", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Steinbrenner's Communist baseball pipeline idea", "c": ["Steinbrenner", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Steinbrenner's cigar ring obsession", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "'Wake up and smell the coffee' - Mickey's political awareness", "c": ["Mickey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "The race climax - Jerry's mysterious victory", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Castro's party philosophy", "c": ["Castro"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "The Race"}, {"t": "Tennis is the only sport where the uniform is what you'd wear under your clothes in any other sport. You're actually out there in your underwear.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "That's why they started keeping score like that. Point? You know what? Make it 15. I'm dying in this sweater here. Another one got by me? Take another 10 points. Let's just get this over with.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Really? Grace? / Yes.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Oh, Bruline. Newman's got the same one. / Newman plays tennis? / He's fantastic.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jocelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Next time let's play Ping-Pong. It's easier to jump over the net.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Have you noticed that she never laughs? / Really? / Yeah. Think about it.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "George, you're becoming one of the glitterati. / What's that? / You know, people who glitter.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Maybe she's bulimic. / What? / Bulimic, you know? / Kramer, she's a model. / Exactly.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "There you go, monkey boy. Come on.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Frankenstein didn't seem quite right to me. I missed the sport jacket. Not that it was that nice of a jacket. I mean, it didn't fit him that well. To me there's just something about a monster in a blazer. It shows at least he's making an effort.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "That's funny.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "I'm so full. / Yes. Full. Love to be full. Love to just sit back, loosen the old belt and digest away for hours. Let those enzymes do their work.", "c": ["Nina", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Where are you going? / I just need to freshen up. / You're fresh. You're very fresh. You seem very fresh to me. You're very vital. I couldn't take you any fresher.", "c": ["George", "Nina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "The jokes kept bouncing off her like Superman.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Even when she did like something... she doesn't laugh. She says, 'That's funny.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "How could I be with someone that doesn't laugh? It's like.... Well, it's like something.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Well, I heard a noise. / What noise? / You know:", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Elaine, of course I'm concerned. I'm paying for those meals. It's like throwing money down the toilet. / In a manner of speaking.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "What would be good... is if there was someone else in the bathroom that could tell me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "My mother's a matron! / Babs? / Yeah, there. All right? I said it. You satisfied? Anything else you wanna know?", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "I'm still carrying a lot of pain. A lot of pain.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "I tore my humeral epicondylitis.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "There are plenty of things you can do. There's chess... and mahjong.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "If I can't play tennis, I have no reason to live.", "c": ["Jocelyn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Ma? / Cosmo.", "c": ["Kramer", "Babs"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Cosmo?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "He needs a $300 Bruline to beat Ethel Kennedy?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "And while I was there, I happened to pick up... another juicy little nugget about our friend.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Cosmo. / Cosmo? / Cosmo? / Cosmo. / Cosmo?", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Cosmo!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "You did a hell of a job keeping it a secret all these years.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "All this time I'm trying not to be me. I'm afraid to face who I was. But I'm Cosmo, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer, and that's who I'm gonna be. From now on, I'm Cosmo.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Well, I would except I forgot to bring a towel.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "None of those big, coarse 'ha's.' / Oh, yeah. / Hate the big, coarse 'ha.' I hate those.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Do you realize in the entire history of Western civilization... no one successfully accomplished the roommate switch. In the Middle Ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "They didn't have roommates in the Middle Ages. / How do you know? / For one thing... they didn't have apartments.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200 somewhere... there were two women living together.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "So if you're scared... if you haven't got the stomach for this, let's get it out right now. And I'll go on my own. If not, you can get onboard, and we can get to work. Now, what's it gonna be? / All right, damn it, I'm in.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "We can't do it. Who are we kidding? It's impossible. It's true. You can't do the switch. Nobody can do the switch.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "I got it!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "So I tell Sandi that I wanna have a m\u00e9nage \u00e0 trois... with her and her roommate.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause Sandi to recoil in disgust. Whereupon, she will insist that I remove myself from the premises.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "There's only one flaw in it. They're roommates. She'd have to go out with me behind Sandi's back. She's not gonna do that. / You disappoint me, my friend.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "She tells Laura, 'If you wanna waste your time with that pervert... that's your problem.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "It's the perfect plan. So inspired, so devious, yet so simple. This is what I do.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "No. I'm okay. / Then what are you doing... with that racket? / It's mine. / Ms. Landis borrowed it.", "c": ["Elaine", "Assistant"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "All right, all right. Forget it. But you don't have to mention any of this... to Miss Landis, do you? / I don't have to, but I will.", "c": ["Elaine", "Assistant"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Hi, Cosmo. / Hi, Mr. Clotworthy. / How are you today? / Couldn't be better. / Hi, Lorraine. / Hi, Cosmo.", "c": ["Kramer", "Restaurant patrons"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "I don't know the exact pronunciation... but I believe it's 'm\u00e9nage \u00e0 trois.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "That is a wild idea.", "c": ["Sandi"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. I was sorry to hear she left. / Babs left? / Yeah. She quit today.", "c": ["Waiter", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "What are you doing in here, George?", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "From what I hear, you postmen don't have to look too far. / Well, you know, sometimes it just has a way of finding you.", "c": ["Babs", "Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "No, actually, she took it pretty well. / So, what happened? / She's into it.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "And not only that, she just called me. She told me she spoke with the roommate... and the roommate's into the m\u00e9nage too.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God... that you know me and have access to my dementia?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "What are you talking about? I'm not gonna do it. / You're not gonna do it? What do you mean? / I can't. I'm not an orgy guy.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "This is like discovering plutonium by accident.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "I'd have to dress and act different. I'd have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions... and get a new bedspread, new curtains. I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. Then I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "Ma! / Cosmo. / I'm sorry. We weren't... We didn't... / Cosmo?", "c": ["George", "Babs", "Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "The Switch"}, {"t": "You're actually rooting for the clothes when you get right down to it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "You are standing and cheering and yelling for your clothes to beat the clothes from another city.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "This is the same human being in a different shirt. They hate him now. Boo. Different shirt. Boo.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "In front of the G's. Hobnobbing with the D's and E's.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "I find sleeping-arrangement conversations depressing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Oh, just a couple gals out on the town, shopping and gabbing. I'm getting a makeover.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Well, label me thankful.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "So that's here? Yes, yes. You're like Switzerland.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be Switzerland.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Jerry, Newman and I are engaged in an epic struggle for world domination. It's winner take all. People cannot be trusted.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "I'm looking right at you, big daddy.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "He's a re-gifter.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Perhaps it's an homage.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Well, if you repeat the name of the gift, you can't possibly like it. Like when someone opens something and goes: 'Oh, tube socks.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "The hardest part about having sex with a woman is getting her to come back to your place. He's already got that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "You know how they get animals to reproduce? They just put them in the same cage.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "He looks just like me. He looks like you, and he's working from the inside? I look like me, and I'm working from the outside. Who is in the better position? Not you.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "This bizarre Harrad Experiment must end.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "I'm ensconced in velvet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "You love velvet. You wanna live in velvet. Everything with the velvet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Well, if he can re-gift, why can't you de-gift?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "It's like a Siegfried & Roy trick.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "If only you'd known, you could have saved some time and given it directly to me.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "When you come out of the shower and put your robe on, do you cinch it tight? Are you concerned about that?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "And if so, who is making the request?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "A grown woman with a male roommate. It's unnatural. It's an abomination.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "No. Just throw my bras out of the way.", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "No one could ever put a label on you, huh? We'll see.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Newman. He's going with Newman.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Well, he's merry. He is merry. I'll give him that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "You mean just because I asked him to go upstairs he thinks he's going downtown?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "I'm watching your door. My door? Yeah. From my peephole. Fisheye. Sees all.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "I'm taking the Congo as a penalty.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "They don't need any water so you don't have to keep taking them to the bathroom.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "You unwittingly made a major commitment. That's a lot of pressure. Oh, my God. You wanted to be ensconced in velvet. You're buried.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Too bad about that Super Bowl ticket, huh, Newman? Yeah. I just hope Tim Whatley's electric bills don't suddenly get lost in the mail or it could be lights out for him.", "c": ["Jerry", "Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "What? Not my car!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "I'm taking the board with me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "But the table, the stereo, the VCR- The velvet couch. Where's the velvet?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "We have each other.", "c": ["Bonnie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "[George's horrified reaction to 'We have each other']", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Yeah? The Ukraine. You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It's feeble. I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "I come from Ukraine. You not say Ukraine weak. Ukraine is game to you? How about I take your little board and smash!", "c": ["Ukrainian Man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "That thing didn't work at all. You put a label on something, 10 minutes later it would peel off. It was the worst gift I ever got.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "I believe it's m\u00e9nage \u00e0 trois?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "George is into it.", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "No labels, Jerry. You know what that means? Freebies!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "Can you move over an inch?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "The Label Maker"}, {"t": "The big new accessory with eyeglasses...seems to be that strap that connects so you can take them on and off...which I don't get because if you have glasses, isn't that because you need to wear glasses?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "People with crutches don't have a chain attached to their belt...so they can just let go of them every now and then.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Why not get a toupee with a rubber band for water-skiing?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "All right. Tell me. What's kept you so busy? / Mostly chemotherapy. / Hey, I'll see you.", "c": ["George", "Gary", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Hey, pig!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "So, didn't you explain that to the cop? / No, I fled the scene.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "- You gonna share with me next time? / - Sure. I swear. / - All right. I'm looking forward to it.", "c": ["Kramer", "George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Why did he tell you and not me? / - I don't know. / - How are you closer to him than me?", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Really? How bad? Was he on his deathbed? / No, he was on his regular bed.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "It's not like you're my wife.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "I was so nice to him I almost made myself sick.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "That's right. You let him have it. / Who is he not to tell you about his life-threatening illness? / That's what I'm saying. / His illness is your business. / If not mine, whose? / If not now, when?", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Jerry", "George", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "You told her? She's not your wife.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "- You don't trust my poker face? / - Do you ever win at poker? / No.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "That's like me buying a wheelchair to cruise around in. / Yeah, I've considered that.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Yes, I do, but I don't want anyone else to have them. / Well, that's peculiar.", "c": ["Jake", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "You know, you'd get two pair, the whole table knows.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "In 1979, I ticketed a brown Dodge Diplomat for parking in a church zone. That fine was never paid. And since then, that scofflaw has piled up more parking tickets than anyone in New York City.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "he's become my white whale.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "I like that eye patch.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "What do you think, I tell Jerry everything? It's not like he's my wife.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Well, I've been living a lie. / Just one? I'm living, like, 20.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Well, I never actually had cancer. / I'll see you.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "I never said hi. When did I say hi? / - I never heard her say hi.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship. It's like a game of tag.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "So that's your poker face.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "What are you talking about? / Two pair? Three of a kind? / Will you stop it? / Oh, my God. You got a flush. / You're holding a flush. / I don't have a flush. / A full house? You got a full house?", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "George", "Jerry", "Jerry", "George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "What do you got? / Gary Fogel never had cancer!", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "You still like me, don't you? / Correct. What?", "c": ["Jake", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Coming down to say that you didn't say hi is more of a gesture than if you did say hi.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "There's one other person who might do something like this, and that's you. / Well... / I don't even think you could do it. / No, I could do it.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "I bought him an unlimited gift certificate at the Hair Team For Men just to put his mind at ease?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "So because you're getting free parking, I gotta pretend this guy had cancer? / Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "I'm getting rid of all my fillings because that mercury's toxic. / Hey, let me see your fillings.", "c": ["Gary", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "I wanna be a pirate.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Can't see on your right side? / No. It's itchy.", "c": ["Kramer", "Officer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Once belonged to Jon Voight.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "I didn't say hi. / You didn't? / No, I told him to send you my regards. I didn't say hi. / Regards?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jake", "Elaine", "Jake"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Good. Revenge is very good.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Malaysia.", "c": ["Glasses Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Let's start the bidding.", "c": ["Glasses Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "I never had feelings for Gary until he got sick. But he was so brave and gained such a wonderful perspective on life. I fell in love with him.", "c": ["Debby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Well, in the old days when the senators didn't vote the way that the party leaders wanted them to, they whipped them. 'You better vote the way we want you to, or there's gonna be big trouble.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Well, she's talking a blue streak now, Jack.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Newman? The white whale.", "c": ["Officer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Can you believe someone would lie about chemotherapy to get a wig?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "She thinks a guy who lies about an illness so he can get some phony hair has perspective?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "See? You're not the only one who has them. I have them too. / Where did you get those? / Malaysia. I was in the area.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jake", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Then at your funeral, the mortician comes out, 'Mrs. Costanza...I thought you might want this.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "I really can't say. / No, say. I want you to say. / It's not good, okay? It's not good. You look...stupid.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Why not get white shoes, move to Miami Beach, and get the whole thing over with?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "You people with hair think you're so superior. You have no idea what it's like. You ever look in the tub and see a fistful of hair? Start your day with that!", "c": ["Toupee Salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "This judge has to use it for some scofflaw. And you know, you can't fight city hall.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Where did you get those glasses? / Where? / Those glasses. / Where did you get those glasses? / Where? / Is this supposed to be some kind of a joke on me? Because it's not very funny. Give me those.", "c": ["Reporter", "Jake", "Reporter", "Jake", "Reporter", "Jake"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Scofflaw"}, {"t": "Well, mostly negative. There've been some relationships that haven't worked out... ambitions that were unfulfilled... hopes dashed... some property damage, hurt feelings.... I know one guy got deported. Physical injury and.... All right, maybe even a death or two.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Real TV people.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Salsa is now the number-one condiment in America. Do you know why? Because people like to say 'salsa.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Do you have any salsa? We need more salsa. Where is the salsa? No salsa? You know, it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "It's about nothing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "I'm out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "What am I, hard of smelling?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I got to plead ignorance on this thing... because if anyone had said anything to me when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon....", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Maybe the dingo ate your baby.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "You kept making all the stops? Well, people kept ringing the bell!", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in two seconds. You know about the cup sizes and all?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "I go out for a quart of milk. I come home and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Because the mail never stops. Every day it piles up more and more and you gotta get it out... but more keeps coming in! Then the bar code reader breaks, and it's Publishers Clearing House day!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Right. Everybody's doing something. We'll do nothing.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "I'll go if I don't have to talk. Then we'll just sit there.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Take the pen. Oh, no. Go ahead. I couldn't. Take it. I can't take it. Do me a personal favor. I'm not comfortable. I cannot take it. Take the pen. Are you sure? I'm positive. Take the pen.", "c": ["Jack", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "But I don't wanna be a pirate.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "See, you know how to take the reservation. You just don't know how to hold the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Well, why am I watching it? Because it's on TV. Not yet.", "c": ["NBC Executive", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "He is so powerful. He can lift 100 pounds right up over his head.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Thick, lustrous hair is important to me.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Do you want to get it out? Or do you want to not be able to get it out? I'd like to be able to get it out. I think you'll get it out.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "I invented 'it's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Well, I'd watch the third-base coach if I were you... because I don't think he's waving you in.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "It rhymes with a female body part. What is it? Mulva?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "And by the way, they're real and they're spectacular.", "c": ["Teri Hatcher's character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Spending the night is optional.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well, you get in the mood!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "You can't have people shoving their arms into a 600-degree oven!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "War... What Is It Good For?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Have you seen the new addition to the Guggenheim? You did that? Yep, yep. Really didn't take very long either.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "And you want to be my latex salesman.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Tuesday has no feel. Monday has a feel. Friday has a feel. Sunday has a feel. I feel Tuesday and Wednesday.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "From now on, when you take a chip just take one dip and end it.", "c": ["Timmy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "That is one magic loogie.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.95, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "We're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act? Not bad, huh?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Salmon's the opposite of tuna because salmon swim against the current, and the tuna swim with it. Good for the tuna.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "My name is George. I'm unemployed, and I live with my parents.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Yes. Significant shrinkage. So you feel you were shortchanged? Yes.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "Like a frightened turtle.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 9.12, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "What is that, a Titleist? A hole in one, huh?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (1)"}, {"t": "The whole wanted poster bit - 'We take their picture, and we let 'em go. So we get the front and side shot. The front is his face. The side is him leaving.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Look at you. Why don't you use a fork? You're no good with the sticks. I know. I need a lesson. You stink. You know you stink.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, have you ever been to the ballet? No, but I've seen people on tiptoes.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Get it on with your bad self.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Is George still wearing that toupee? Yeah. Doesn't he know how ridiculous he looks in that thing? I think he looks fantastic. Oh, come on. No. I never realized what an attractive man he is. Oh, he's a real looker, that one.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "People. People, people, people, people.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "You look ridiculous in that thing. Is that so? Or could it be that you're just a little bit worried that you may have missed the boat.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Well, I think they might have sutured... that thing... to your brain.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "All right. Go ahead. Deride. Deride if you must. But let me tell you something. With my personality and this head of hair, you know what I am now? I am in the game. I no longer defer to the coiffed. I'm a player.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Here you go, brother. Some food for you. Thank you. You're a good man. Bless you. You gonna be here in an hour? Where am I going?", "c": ["Jerry", "Homeless Man"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, Lou, who's that woman over there? Huh? Oh, that's Sergeant Tierny. Nice officer. You wanna meet her? Well, this worked out okay.", "c": ["George", "Lou"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Listen. I'll take that Tupperware now. I don't think so. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's mine. You gave it to me. No, no, look. I didn't say you could keep it. See, I don't give away Tupperware. You shoulda said something. Well, I didn't think I had to. Look, with a piece of Tupperware, you just assume.", "c": ["Jerry", "Homeless Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Robert is not exactly a one-woman man, if you know what I mean. No, siree, Bob.", "c": ["Boss's Wife"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "He likes his sports. But he counters that side with the side you see here tonight at the ballet or the pleasure he gets watching Miss Liza Minnelli belt out a few choice numbers.", "c": ["Boss's Wife"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "And we discover yet another talent: posing as a girlfriend for homosexuals.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Not conversion? You're thinking conversion?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "He's not gonna suddenly switch sides. Forget about it. Why? Is it irrevocable? Because when you join that team, it's not a whim. He likes his team. He's set with that team. But we've got a good team. Yeah, we do. We do have a good team. Well, why can't he play for us?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "They're only comfortable with their equipment.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "You realize your venturing into uncharted waters. I realize that. Are you that desperate? Yes, I am.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "The patented burp, Jerry. It locks in freshness.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Did you tell her about your little hat there? What hat? You know, your little hair hat there.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "I could spot that bird's nest two blocks away.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, any of you guys want to be in the lineup? Make a quick 50 bucks? Sure. I will.", "c": ["Police Officer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Have you ever seen the show? No. You can admit it, Jerry. It's okay. I'd admit it. I don't watch it. Hey, Lou. Maybe we should put him on the poly.", "c": ["Lou", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Why didn't you just confess? It's too stupid to confess. Look what I'm confessing to.", "c": ["Lou", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "I have access to one of the most deceitful, duplicitous, deceptive minds of our time. Who better to advise me?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "She's bald! What do you mean, bald? What do you think I mean, bald? Bald! 'Bald' bald.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "You know, let me tell you something. No one walks into a beauty parlor and says, 'Give me the Larry Fine.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "You're rejecting somebody because they're bald. So? You're bald! No, I'm not. I... was bald.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Elaine grabbing George's toupee and the ensuing physical struggle", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Would you like to come... upstairs? Upstairs? Yeah. Upstairs?", "c": ["Elaine", "Robert"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "But I'm a starting shortstop. Robert... we need a shortstop. Real bad.", "c": ["Robert", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "I feel like my old self again. Totally inadequate, completely insecure, paranoid, neurotic. It's a pleasure.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "You're like a bald-again.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Jerry, I can't. It's like saying to Pavarotti, 'Teach me to sing like you.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "It's not a lie... if you believe it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "I did it! What? I turned him. He defected. Get out. How? How did you do that? 'Cause I'm a woman.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "You've given hope to every woman who's ever said 'too bad he's gay.' Well, it's a lesson for the kids out there. Anything is possible.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "The perfect man. Nothing but sex and shopping.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Yes! Yes, that stupid idiot! He left her for Kimberly! He slept with her sister! He tricked her into givin' him half her business! And then she goes ahead and sleeps with him again! I mean, she's crazy! How could she do something like that?! I mean, that Jane! Oh, she just makes me so mad!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Being a woman... I only really have access to the... equipment... What, 30, 45 minutes a week? And that's on a good week. How can I be expected to have the same expertise as people who own this equipment... and have access to it 24 hours a day... their entire lives?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "That's why they lose very few players.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "I got rejected by a bald woman. What? A bald woman rejected me. Huh? You like that one? A woman with no prospects and no hair told me that I wasn't her type. Apparently, baldy likes a slimmer guy!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "You blew it, boy! You really blew it! And you had to ruin it for him, didn't you?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, that Michael. I hate him. He's just so smug.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "That's the guy, officer! The guy there in the middle, the tall guy with the high hair. I'd recognize him anywhere.", "c": ["Witness"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Highlights Of 100 (2)"}, {"t": "The whole concept of the wanted poster... has gotta be the most wildly optimistic crime-fighting idea.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "I mean, so how does it work? Okay. I'm on line at the post office. I see the guy. I see the list of offenses. I check the guy standing in line behind me. If it's not him, that's pretty much all I can do.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Annoying thing is, why didn't they hold on to this guy... when they're taking his picture? 'No, we don't do it that way. We take their picture and we let them go. That's how we get the front and side shot. The front is his face. The side is him leaving.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Look at you. Why don't you use a fork. You're no good with the sticks.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "I know. I need a lesson. You stink. You know you stink. What is this?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Have you ever been to the ballet? No, but I've seen people on tiptoes.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "You know, I'm going as a beard. - A beard?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "This friend of a friend knows this banker guy. He's 30-ish, unbelievably gorgeous. - Of course he's gay.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Yeah? - Get it on with your bad self.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Doesn't he know how ridiculous... he looks in that thing? - I think he looks fantastic. Oh, come on. I never realized what an attractive man he is. Oh, he's a real looker, that one.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Not bad, huh?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "You look ridiculous in that thing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Or could it be that you're just a little bit worried... that you may have missed the boat?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Well, I think they might have sutured that thing to your brain.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Oh, all right. Go ahead. Deride. Deride if you must.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "With my personality and this head of hair, you know what I am now? I am in the game. I no longer defer to the coifed. I'm a player.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "No, I think he's got you beat, buddy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "I got a friend, works at the police station. - He's a composite artist. - Really? - I can get him to draw a picture of her.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "You done with all this? I'm gonna give it to a homeless person.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "What's that nut? - Almonds? Almonds. Yeah. That's good.", "c": ["Jerry", "Police Artist"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "And make the lips fuller, poutier. Pouty? I like that. - You can't go wrong with pouty. - I'm excited about the pouty.", "c": ["Jerry", "Police Artist", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You were right. She is gorgeous.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Hey, Lou, who's that woman over there? Her? Oh, that's Sergeant Tierney. - Nice officer. - You wanna meet her?", "c": ["Jerry", "Lou"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "I like the idea of having the law on my side.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Where did the Chinese learn to cook like that?", "c": ["Homeless Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "I don't think so. That's mine. - You gave it to me. - I didn't say you could keep it. See, I don't give away Tupperware. - You should've said something. - I didn't think I had to. Look, with a piece of Tupperware, you just assume.", "c": ["Kramer", "Homeless Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "You and Robert? - Yep. - Really? - Yes, indeedy.", "c": ["Robert's Boss", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Well, believe me. This didn't happen overnight. Robert is not exactly a one-woman man, if you know what I mean. No, sirree, Bob.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Sure, I mean, in a lot of ways he's a typical guy. He likes his sports. But he counters that side with the side you see here tonight at the ballet... or the pleasure he gets watching Liza Minnelli... belt out a few choice numbers.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "And we discover yet another talent: posing as a girlfriend for homosexuals.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Don't tell me.... You like him? He's incredible.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Not conversion? You're thinking conversion?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "You think you can get him to change teams? He's not gonna suddenly switch sides. Forget about it. Why? Is it irrevocable?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Because when you join that team, it's not a whim. He likes his team. He's set with that team.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "But we've got a good team. - Yeah, we do. We do have a good team. Well, why can't he play for us?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "They're only comfortable with their equipment.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Of course. Everyone gets along great when there's no possibility of sex.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "You realize you're venturing into uncharted waters? I realize that. Are you that desperate? Yes, I am.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "You know, you lose your temper. Who knows what you're capable of. All right. Then it's settled. First date, no weapons.", "c": ["George", "Sergeant Tierney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "The patented burp, Jerry. It locks in freshness.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Who's to say it didn't?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "What hat? You know, your little hair hat there.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? I could spot that bird's nest two blocks away.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "I noticed people staring at my head because they like what they see.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "If he was gonna go bald... I never would have introduced them.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Hey, that's my coffee.", "c": ["Homeless Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Well, why don't you take off your hat, stay a while.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Let me ask you. Now, when someone is lying... is it true that their pants are actually on fire?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "A certain cast member of Melrose Place. Get out. Really? - Have you ever seen the show? - No.", "c": ["Sergeant Tierney", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Hey, Lou. Maybe we should put him on the poly. - The poly? - Yeah. I think you've seen it.", "c": ["Sergeant Tierney", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Why? Why were you so embarrassed? I'm gonna be taking this lie detector test. That needle's gonna be going wild.", "c": ["Sergeant Tierney", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Look what I'm confessing to.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Who do you think you are, Costanza?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what? I have access to one of the most deceitful, duplicitous... deceptive minds of our time. Who better to advise me?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "She's bald. What do you mean, 'bald'? What do you think I mean? Bald. Bald. Bald, bald.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "'Hello.' It was like I was looking at myself in the mirror.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "No one walks into a beauty parlor and says, 'Give me the Larry Fine.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "You're rejecting somebody because they're bald. So? You're bald! No, I'm not. I was bald.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "No, no, no! Elaine! I don't like this thing! And here's what I'm doing with it!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Elaine... I was hoping, you know... you might be interested in changing teams.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "But I'm a starting shortstop. Robert, we need a shortstop. Real bad.", "c": ["Robert", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "It's good to have you back. You know what else I've decided to do? I'm gonna keep seeing the bald woman.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "You've had, like, a religious awakening. You're like a bald-again.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "It's like saying to Pavarotti, 'Teach me to sing like you.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "It's not a lie if you believe it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.75, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Hey. I did it. - What? - I turned him. He defected.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Do you know what you've done? You've given hope to every woman who's ever said, 'Too bad he's gay.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Well, it's a lesson for the kids out there. Anything is possible.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Nothing but sex and shopping.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Yes! Yes. That stupid idiot. He left her for Kimberly. He slept with her sister, tricked her into giving him half her business. Then she goes and sleeps with him again? She's crazy. How could she do something like that? That Jane! Oh, she just makes me so mad!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Being a woman... I only really have access to the... equipment... what, 30, 45 minutes a week? And that's on a good week. How can I be expected to have the same expertise... as people who own this equipment... and have access to it 24 hours a day, their entire lives?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "That's why they lose very few players.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "I got rejected by a bald woman. - What? - A bald woman rejected me. You like that one? A woman with no prospects and no hair told me that I wasn't her type.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Apparently baldy likes a slimmer guy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "You blew it, boy. You really blew it!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Oh, that Michael. I hate him. He's just so smug.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "That's the guy, officer. The guy there in the middle. The tall guy with the high hair. I'd recognize him anywhere.", "c": ["Eyewitness"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "Hey, you. You with the high hair. Step forward. Me?", "c": ["Police Officer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Beard"}, {"t": "I was thinking about hair... and that the weird thing about it... is that people will touch other people's hair. You will actually kiss another human being right on the head... but if one of those hairs... should somehow be able to get out of that skull and go off on its own...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "...it is now the vilest, most disgusting thing that you can encounter.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "The same hair. People freak out, 'There was a hair in the egg salad.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Say it's Saturday night in Spain. They go out dancing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Think they do the flamenco? I would think. So you could call a woman for a date... ask her if she's free for dinner and a flamenco.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "You don't flamenco on the first date.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Well, I knew you had an affinity for it... because it's the dance of a very proud people.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "I have to open a bottle of ketchup for her.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "There's gotta be an easier way to open ketchup. They should make it in a tube.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Mustard lends itself to the squeeze. ... There's a difference. It's subtle.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Yeah. Every time I see her... I gotta kiss hello. I did it once on her birthday. Somehow it mushroomed. Now I dread seeing her because of it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "I'm down to one kiss hello. My aunt Celia.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "That's fortunate. I really admire that. ... Really? I never heard you say you admired me for anything.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "No, I told you I admire your hearing. Oh, don't slough that off. You have great hearing.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "You know, I got this little swelling right here. It's kind of painful. What do you make of that?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Oh, that-- That really seems like a lot of trouble.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "I love these people. You can't ask them questions. They're so mentally gifted that we mustn't disturb the delicate genius... unless it's in the confines of an office. When huge sums of money are involved, the genius can be disturbed.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "That was my last kiss hello. I am getting off the kiss program with her.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Well, you know, frankly... outside of a sexual relationship, I don't see the point to it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "I'm not thrilled with the handshaking either, but one step at a time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "I mean, she looks like something out of an old high school yearbook.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "If you tell him to do it, he'll never do it. What you have to do is introduce him, and then he'll just come out with it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Everyone will know everybody's name. People are gonna be a lot friendlier. ... Imagine walking by someone on the floor and you say, 'Hey, Carl'... and he says, 'Hey, Jerry.' That's the kind of society I wanna live in.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Kramer, I don't wanna stop and talk every time I go in the building. I just wanna nod and be on my way.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "You know, your eyeliner's smudged a little. Why do you wear so much eye makeup?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Yeah. This is gonna work out just fine.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Well, here's the bottle. -I'll do it. -I got it. -Give it to me. -Stop it. -Jerry, would you give me the bottle? -Uncle Leo.", "c": ["Jerry", "Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "You should let Buddy open it. Buddy? He lived next door to us 45 years ago.", "c": ["Nana", "Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Ma, Dad died in 1962.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Believe me, I don't owe your mother $50.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Well, I'm making out my will. Oh, I got a big slice of dough for you, buddy... and you too. I haven't forgotten you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "You don't rob somebody if you know their name. You're robbing me.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Can you come back in about five minutes? Why? No reason. Just wanna see you again.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Do you know what the interest on that $50 comes to over 53 years? $663.45... and that's figuring conservatively at 5 percent interest... over 53 years compounded quarterly.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Well, he's not getting away with this.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "I mean, if you could, say, touch a breast as part of the kiss hello... then I think I could see the value in it a little better. How about an intercourse hello? How would that be?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Elaine, now you're being ridiculous.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "You know, I really like that hairdo.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "You'd be a damn fool to change it. Nobody wears it like that. It's very becoming.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Elaine? ... No, I'm just thinking about the question.", "c": ["Wendy", "Elaine"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Oh, you have a policy. The delicate genius has a policy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Well, it's less than 24 hours, so I guess I have to.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Hello, Jerry. Oh, hello... Mary.", "c": ["Mary", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "See, what was I telling you? Isn't this nice?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "You see, that's just what I need, more kissing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Uncle Leo put Nana in a home. Why? I don't know. Maybe to keep her quiet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "I'm like Richard Dawson down there now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Every person I see engages me in this long, boring, tedious conversation. I can't even get out of the building.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "My father's demanding my uncle pay interest... on $50 he was supposed to give my mother in 1941... and my uncle put my Nana in a home to try and shut her up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. I require 24 hours' notice for a cancellation. Now, as I see it, you owe me $75.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "If I take you right to your door... I have to go all the way around Central Park West, back to Columbus. You know, it's all one-way. Yeah, but it's only three blocks. Right. It's only three blocks.", "c": ["Wendy", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "It's as if I was hitchhiking and she said, 'This is as far as I can take you.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "If you were, you'd never get in a car with someone with a hairdo like that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Listen, I've decided I can't kiss hello anymore. I'm sorry. It's nothing personal. It makes me uncomfortable. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "It's a big building, Seinfeld. Maybe I'll get to it someday... after I take care of the people that are civil to each other.", "c": ["Jack (Super)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Wednesday? That's your personal business? Skiing? Sure. Let people suffer while you're shooshing all over a mountain.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "And you know, you might wanna do something about that hair.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Oh, what an obnoxious little kid. He used to steal my soda bottles and cash them in for the deposit.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "You're busted.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Look, why don't you do everybody a favor and just get out of this building. Nobody wants you here. Nobody!", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "Well, I'd invite you in... but, you know.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Kiss Hello"}, {"t": "You would think if any group of people would not wanna demonstrate what life would be like without them, it would be doormen.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Let's see how they do without us.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "There's no doorman, people open the door, they walk in. Who's gonna walk out next? The guys that clean your windshield at the traffic light with the dirty rag?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "We demand shorter yellows and longer reds.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "What are you, the boyfriend? Here for a quickie?", "c": ["Doorman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Oh, I get it. Why waste time making small talk with the doorman? I should just shut up and do my job opening the door for you.", "c": ["Doorman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "How about those Knicks? Oh, I see, on the sports page. Why do you think I wasn't reading the Wall Street page? Oh, I know. Because I'm the uneducated doorman.", "c": ["Doorman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "He makes this kasha, it stinks up the whole house.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "For these German tourists. Pretend that I'm robbing you. So these people can go back home and tell their friends they saw a real New York mugging.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "All right, hands up, porky. That's it. Now, give me your wallet. You got it in here, huh, fat boy? Is that all you got, huh? Is that all you got?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "All right, you better not say anything or I'll stalk you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "I don't wanna play any more of his mind games.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "But then the night doorman comes on. He's much scarier.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "I don't have a hi-fi. I gave you my old record player. I gave it to Cosmo. Cosmo? Who's Cosmo? I'm Cosmo.", "c": ["George", "Frank", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "One, two, cha-cha-cha.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "He's very peculiar.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "A party? Oh, no, that was just my stupid friend, Jerry.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Believe me, we're not entertained. We're just leaving.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "You? What are you doing here? You work at this building too? Oh, sure. Poor doorman has to work two jobs to put food on the table for mother and baby. No, I live here.", "c": ["Jerry", "Doorman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "So you work all day as a doorman at one building and then you stand outside your building? Yeah. You got a problem with that?", "c": ["Jerry", "Doorman"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "You really think you're better than me, don't you?", "c": ["Doorman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "He had breasts.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "No, not these. These were real hooters.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "I was throwing up all night. It was like my own personal Crying Game.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "What if it's a genetic thing? Like father, like son. But your father's not bald. No, no. That skips a generation. The baldness gene comes from your grandfather. Then I suppose the bosom gene comes from your grandmother?", "c": ["Kramer", "George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Frank can't be too comfortable with those things clanging around.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "You mean, like a bra? No, a bra is for ladies. I'm talking about a support undergarment specifically designed for men.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Boy, that brain never stops working, does it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Hey, we're twins. What?! Our shirts, they're the same. Imagine that.", "c": ["Doorman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "He claims that you followed him home and started harassing him.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "What is wrong with George? He's trying to get something off his chest.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "I traded shifts with the night doorman. He had personal affairs to attend to. My fellow doormen and I watch out for each other. We don't stab each other in the back like people in your world.", "c": ["Doorman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Then watch the door for a minute. What? I just want to get a beer. Be back in a minute. Wait a second. What do I do? It's not brain surgery. Open the door for people. If they don't live here, don't let them in.", "c": ["Doorman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "I've lived here for 20 years. Now, if you don't let me in, I'm going to call the police and have you arrested. All right. All right. You think you're better than me?", "c": ["Tenant", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Hey, how about those Knicks, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "Delivery person"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Does your back hurt? How did you know? Well, it's obvious. You're carrying a lot of extra baggage up there. Up here? Oh, yeah, top floor.", "c": ["Kramer", "Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "A bra is for ladies. Meet the Bro.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Bosomy? You want to know if your grandmother was bosomy?", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Somebody stole the couch out of the lobby. Where's the doorman? How come someone wasn't watching the door?", "c": ["Building resident"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Don't you find it odd that as soon as he leaves, a couch gets stolen? Maybe he's setting me up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "You came to pick me up. I came to pick you up. Yeah, that's what I said. No, I was just... No, I know. It's not helping.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "The Mansiere. That's right. A brassiere for a man. The Mansiere. Get it?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Well, you scared her off. We may never see Mom again.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Well, the doorman certainly has a wild imagination, doesn't he?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "You know, he's a comedian, Mrs. Payton. They don't know how to do anything.", "c": ["Doorman"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "He thought of everything. He was setting me up from day one. Is it possible we were victims of a sting?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "So you didn't even want the couch? No, I was just messing with his head. And they think they're better than us.", "c": ["Elaine", "Doorman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "You get a couch, I get rid of my father. It couldn't be more perfect.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "I wouldn't be caught dead in Ban-Lon.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Say you're getting intimate with a woman, you don't want her fumbling and struggling back there. I think we've all experienced that.", "c": ["Kramer", "Sid"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "You want to go out with my wife? Where do you get the nerve to ask me that?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "You had me sleeping on a pee-stained couch? No. No, no. The cushion was turned over. But the very idea. You had me lying in urine!", "c": ["Frank", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "You're not having any of your transvestite parties? Will you stop it? I lived with him for 40 years. I never saw him trying on my underwear. As soon as he leaves the house, he turns into J. Edgar Hoover.", "c": ["Estelle", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Hey, he only sells them, he doesn't wear them.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Hey, that record player is not yours. No, look, somebody gave it to me. You're a thief. We have proof.", "c": ["Building residents", "Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "She started a big fight about abortion.", "c": ["Poppie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "It's you. It's you. I gotta sit down. No, Poppie, no! No, Poppie!", "c": ["Poppie", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Kasha? No, thanks, Dad.", "c": ["Frank", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Doorman"}, {"t": "Buying shoes is a challenge. Ever see someone put on new shoes? They turn into a zombie as they start walking around the store.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Yeah, these are pretty good.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Then they have that little 1-foot-high mirror. What is that about? So I can see what cats will think of my shoes?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "What is that angle? Bum passed out on the curb, 'Hey, what do you think of these? I just got them. I've seen them from that angle myself.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Jimmy's under the boards. Jimmy's in the open. Jimmy makes the shot.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "No, this is gonna plague me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Jimmy was like you.", "c": ["Jimmy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "The muscle has to grow or die.", "c": ["Jimmy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "It wouldn't take.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "I'm a human heat pump.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "They give me a whoosh.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Oh, no, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "and all of Mr. Steinbrenner's vitamins.", "c": ["Wilhelm"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "What the hell is a velvet fog?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "I can't watch a man sing a song.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "They get all emotional, they sway. It's embarrassing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "I really don't pay much attention to men's faces.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "I find them repugnant and unappealing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "To wit.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "No, no, I don't find him all that bright.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Of course. But that's got nothing to do with it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "I might even get there a few minutes early.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "It doesn't help.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Jimmy's got a backer. Jimmy's jumping for dollars. Jimmy and George are gonna get rich.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Kung Pao!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Jimmy's been watching you. You're just Jimmy's type.", "c": ["Jimmy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Jimmy loves the Velvet Fog.", "c": ["Jimmy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "I've just been occupying myself with some of your reading material.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "When they pull that needle out, I let the expletives fly.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "I can't hold the water.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Jimmy's down.", "c": ["Jimmy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Jimmy's gonna get you, Kramer. Jimmy holds grudges. Let Jimmy go.", "c": ["Jimmy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "You know, I can't feel anything.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "You're really independent.", "c": ["Arnold"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "What you do? You don't do anything.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "He thinks you're mentally challenged.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "George likes his chicken spicy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Sometimes I tuck, sometimes I don't.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Is this guy a dentist or Caligula?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "You're single.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Jimmy's gonna put the moves on Elaine.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "George likes spicy chicken.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "George is getting upset.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Jimmy and misunderstandings kind of clash.", "c": ["Jimmy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Elaine once tried to convert one... but Elaine's not gonna go through that again.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Elaine got a new dress.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Guy's got a problem.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "George would never do anything like that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "You could put that mustard on a shoe and it would taste pretty good to me.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "It's almost a dessert dessert.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "Of course, none of our patients had any idea exactly what we were up to.", "c": ["Whatley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "The Jimmy"}, {"t": "They're bug realtors is what they are. 'I think you'll be happy here. There's a lot of crumbs, not much light.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Got him. Is to boycott these companies.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "You know, I once went out with a nude model. Never let me see her naked. Hundreds of people see her naked every week except me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Needless to say, it was quite vexing.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "George, I just like to doodle.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "She had those nuts in her mouth. She just spit them out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "I'll join you.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Well, I've done that. Yeah, but with you it's intentional.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "This is like semi-digested foodstuff. The next stop is the stomach, and you can take it from there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "And, Jerry, be careful, there's a lot of nuts out there.", "c": ["Shelly"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Look at the size of the nose, the ears. All my features are distorted. I'm grotesque. I look like a troll.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "What is with him? Usual.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Be sure to catch a Broadway show while you're in town.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "What, is it a drawing of Mr. Magoo?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "It is.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Find out if she likes you? What, are you in high school?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Then she's gonna know that I like her more than she likes me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "So if you and Potsie are done scheming...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Makes your taste buds come alive. It's like having a circus in your mouth.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna taste your peach. I ate someone's pecan last night. I'm not eating your peach.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "It's like the aurora borealis.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Don't sweat it, buddy. I used to have fleas. What did you do about them? What do you mean?", "c": ["Newman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Mom, Dad... I have fleas.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "No, I mean, do you like him or do you 'like him' like him?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "'Like' like. Looks aren't that important to me, you know?", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Well, unless you wanna kill them... they can't stay in here.", "c": ["Exterminator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Come on, come on, come on. Oh, no, no, no... Okay!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Hey, I found out from Paula, she likes George. I bet he'll be relieved. When he's dead, he'll be relieved.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "In fact, she said looks weren't that important. You see... What?", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "She thinks I'm ugly. I knew it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "There's a lot of ugly people out there walking around... but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "I'd rather she hate me and thought I was good-looking. Then at least I could get somebody else.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "You know what these cost? They're like 80 cents a nut.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Hey, they got a phone in the john here.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Well, you can't go in there. It's like a gas chamber in there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Toxic gas? Oh, you'll be fine. You were there a couple minutes? An hour and a half.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "I thought it was so your parents wouldn't walk in... while you were with a girl.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Oh, I know the chunky that left these Chunkys.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "There's probably fleas crawling all over your little snack bar.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "You know, Newman, the thing about fleas... is that they irritate the skin. And they start to itch. Oh, maybe you can hold out five seconds or 10. Maybe 15 or 20. But after a while... no matter how much willpower a person may have... it won't matter... because they're crawling, crawling on your skin. Up your legs, up your spine, up your back...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "All right, I've got them! I'm rife with fleas!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Let the chambermaid clean it up.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "You could drape yourself in velvet for all I care.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Unbridled enthusiasm?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "That's what led to Billy Mumphrey's downfall.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Billy was a simple country boy... you might say a cockeyed optimist... who got himself mixed up in the high-stakes game... of world diplomacy and international intrigue.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Well, this food, it has no taste. Nothing. I'm getting nothing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "You know what? I'll brush later. Brush now.", "c": ["Jerry", "Shelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "You can't taste them, why waste them? Why not give them all to me?", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Interesting take. So you believe that had he not been so enthusiastic... he could have averted disaster.", "c": ["Mr. Mandel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "So it was more a question of attitude than politics.", "c": ["Mr. Mandel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Don't tell me. Velvet?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "You know, Jerry, I've been searching for someone a long time. Well, the search is over. And now the search for the right psychiatrist begins.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "I guess I'm stuck with the Velvet Fog.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "$400 worth of snacks. Not to mention the damage to the room.", "c": ["Hotel Manager"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "I think you've read one too many Billy Mumphrey stories.", "c": ["Mr. Mandel"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Yes! Last day for the Mackinaws. I can still make it. Wait, Newman. Newman, wait. Sorry. Last one.", "c": ["Jerry", "Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "But if you want to suck the pit...", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "Look, Beauford. It's the mailman. You remember the mailman, don't you? Kramer, don't. Get him!", "c": ["Dog Owner", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "They said they were sending over an Asian woman. Oh, my God.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "The Doodle"}, {"t": "The worst part about a car breaking down... is when you're out on the road, you're a guy. Because now you have to get out and pretend like you know what you're doing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Walk around the front, open up the hood. That's good, it obscures her view. That's the main reason you want to do that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Like a giant on/off switch turned off.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Elaine, you always care who an ex-girlfriend dates. You don't want someone you know... and you don't want someone better than you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Now, even though the latter is obviously impossible...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "All those mechanics do is work all day with their hands... and their big muscular arms... on machines, and then they come home... dripping with animal sexuality like Stanley Kowalski.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Hey, look at that. They got lobster on the menu. Who would order a lobster here? I mean, do they bring a lobster in every day hoping, 'Today's the day.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "So what if they have a lobster? Suddenly you're a shellfish connoisseur?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "I think we really need to be in front of a television set. You take TV out of this relationship, it is just torture.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "You're not a divorc\u00e9e. You're just separated. You're a 'separat\u00e9e.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "You're not out there. You can't be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there... there's not enough voltage in this world... to electroshock me back into coherence.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "He worked on this kid from Guatemala with no nose... turned him into Ricardo Montalban.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "No, these don't belong to me. I'm not the Assman.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Well, as far as the state of New York is concerned, you are.", "c": ["DMV clerk"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "How do you feel? Fine. Something the matter? No. Then what is it? No, nothing.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Jerry, there is no confusing that move with any other move.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "We were in the garage. You know how garages are. They're conducive to sex talk. It's a high-testosterone area.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Because of all the pistons and the lube jobs?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Yeah, but it's like another comedian stealing my material.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "He doesn't even do it exactly the same. He uses a pinch at the end instead of the swirl.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, the pinch. I've done the pinch.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "You know, it's strange, because he's such an honest mechanic.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "I know, he's probably the only honest mechanic in New York.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "I'm rubbing two sticks together, you're walking around with a Zippo.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "This woman I'm dating is doing her nails during lovemaking.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "I'm working like a dog here. Give me a moan, something. I'd settle for a belch, for God's sake.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "This is not some parlor trick to be used... pell-mell or willy-nilly.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "You can't have more than a 1 foot differential in your heights. Otherwise you could really hurt your neck.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "George, if you can master this, you'll never be alone again.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "I use the swirl. I like the swirl. I'm comfortable with the swirl. I feel the swirl is a great capper. He uses the pinch, which I find a little presumptuous.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "I prefer clockwise. But it's not written in stone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "It's fusilli Jerry. It's made from fusilli pasta. See the microphone?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "I'm working on one of you, George. I'm using ravioli.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Why fusilli? Because you're silly.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Assman? Yeah, Assman, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Who would order a license plate that says Assman? Maybe they're Wilt Chamberlain's.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "It doesn't have to be someone who gets lots of woman. It could be just some guy with a big ass.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Yeah, or it could be a proctologist.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there. You will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never. It's always an accident.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Every proctologist's story ends in the same way: 'It was a million-1 shot, doc. Million-1.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "I'll tell you where I'd like to stick it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "All you told me about was the end. The ending is the whole thing. Without the ending, it's nothing. You had nothing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Didn't need you to tell me that stupid twist. Twirl. Whatever, I don't do it.", "c": ["Puddy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "You can't come up with your own stuff, so you steal other people's? You're nothing but a hack.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "If you wanna do it out of town, okay. But not in the city.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "It feels like aliens poking at my body.", "c": ["Nancy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Oh, God, Dave! Oh, yes, yes. I'm sorry. What? I can't do the move. What? He's ruined it for me.", "c": ["Elaine", "Puddy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Call me. 36-24-46. I think I have what you're looking for.", "c": ["Phone message"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Yeah, Dr. Cosmo Kramer. Proctology.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Yo, Assman. Look at the Assman. Hey, the Assman's in town. You got that straight.", "c": ["Random people"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Boy, I never dreamed it could make such a difference.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "You're supposed to close with the swirl? Oh, my God. Yes, you close with the swirl. There's a progression there. I told you to write it down.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "That's what they do. They can make up anything. Nobody knows. 'By the way, you need a new Johnson rod in here.' 'Oh, Johnson rod? Yeah, well, better put one of those on.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "It's like big-budget movie with a story that goes nowhere.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "I will not stand by and allow him to perform this move on me... while a perfectly good move is just sitting in the barn doing nothing.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Yes. Yes, as a matter of fact there is. I think that's mine.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "He stopped short? That's my move.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "I used it on Estelle 40 years ago. I told everybody about it. Everybody knows... I stop short.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "You think I don't know, Assman?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Mansiere! Bro! Mansiere! Bro!", "c": ["Frank", "Kramer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "He had to use corkscrew pasta.", "c": ["Paramedic/Doctor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "So you're the Assman.", "c": ["Dr. Cooperman"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Million-1 shot, doc. Million-1.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.85, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "It was a fusilli Jerry. It got stuck in me. I had to go to the proctologist.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "Ma, don't cry! Ma, your eyes!", "c": ["George", "Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Fusilli Jerry"}, {"t": "How about the scam the airlines have with these special clubs? One hundred fifty dollars a year to sit in a room...eat peanuts, drink coffee and soda and read magazines.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I already got four hours of this coming to me. What am I paying for? How about an l-got-all-my-luggage club? Can I get into that? Where's that club? I would like to join that club.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "They give you that look like: 'Maybe if you had worked a little harder....'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I'll be the one without the big red sash.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I've done the march in. Best feeling. -How about the march out? -Not as good. You realize all the money you're losing.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "It better be.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I just amended my will to include you as a beneficiary.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "We don't want anything to happen to you, Mr. Pitt. We want you to live a long, long time.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Anyone ever tell you you look a lot like Sugar Ray Leonard?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I suppose we all look alike to you, right, Costanza?", "c": ["Morgan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Come on. A little help.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I would've marched on Selma if it was in Long Island. -You'd have marched on Great Neck? -Absolutely. I still might.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I always hated those girls. They would never date me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Not salt, but...? -What, Pepper Johnson?", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Outside of us, you don't have any white friends either.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Remember I was here a while back? We watched Breakfast at Tiffany's together?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Well, I got another Audrey Hepburn movie.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Daddy, that man's here again.", "c": ["Remy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Yeah, they're great. What about appetite suppressants?", "c": ["Pharmacy clerk", "Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Yes, I followed the planes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Just so you know, they also have decaf as well. And I talked to the hostess, they'll also be serving coffee on the plane...along with a selection of cocktails and soft--", "c": ["Katie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Well, he gave me the morning off. I was doing a little shopping.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Even if you have to go a little, you better go now...because you can't until after takeoff.", "c": ["Katie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Planes flying in from all corners of the world...and they know the minute when they're arriving. Oh, they don't know a darn thing.", "c": ["Kramer", "Earl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "You're on, cowboy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I'm George, George Costanza. You live around here?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Come on, Mexico City! -Seattle! Seattle!", "c": ["Kramer", "Earl"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I just didn't want you to freak out. Why would I freak out? Pilot.", "c": ["Katie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "[Jerry freezes mid-sentence during his performance]", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I became obsessed with him. Why did I invite him? Stupid. Stupid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Well, Mr. Kramer, looks like you're in the hole $3200.", "c": ["Earl"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no, no. Not the bag. Help me, man. I'm desperate.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but the pilot has asked that you leave this plane. Apparently he has some sort of problem with you.", "c": ["Flight attendant"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I really let him have it, Jerry. He had no business being in your audience if you didn't want him there. I didn't care.", "c": ["Katie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I don't have a preference, okay? Just make a decision yourself. Please? Stop bothering me with every minor detail.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Hey, Jerry, what was the name of that exterminator...who fumigated your apartment when you had fleas? Karl, I think. Karl. Yeah, yeah. He was a nice guy.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "David Berkowitz. Son of Sam. The worst mass murderer the post office ever produced.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "I took over his route. And, boy, were there a lot of dogs on that route.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Any of them talking to you? -Just to tell me to keep off the snacks.", "c": ["Earl", "Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "No road is a major detail.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Jerry? Yes, I suppose he is white. I never really thought about it. I don't really see people in terms of color.", "c": ["Karl"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "[News report about Jerry driving into swimming pool while 'a little freaked out']", "c": ["News reporter", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "That's him. That's the man who gave me the pills in the drugstore. He's no pharmacist.", "c": ["Mr. Pitt"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "That's what we used to call him in high school, 'The Exterminator.' He was a linebacker.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Your friend caused the delay? -You're a cheat. -Nobody hustles Earl Haffler.", "c": ["Elaine", "Earl"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Jerry Seinfeld tried to poison you? What? What? Mr. Pitt, what are you, delirious?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. It's him. It's the pilot!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "You wouldn't believe the rat droppings in the kitchen.", "c": ["Karl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "Hear that? Hear that? Mr. Morgan! Did you hear that? Mr. Morgan!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Diplomats Club"}, {"t": "It's not like somebody died. It's Beaches, for God's sake.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "I can't see making a big move like going all the way over there. I can't. I won't.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "But when you're talking about a movie like Beaches... moving from the chair to the couch... that's quite a voyage.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Understudies, now, they're a shifty bunch. The substitute teachers of the theater world.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what, I didn't like the show, I didn't like you. You just really stunk. The whole thing, real bad. Stinkaroo.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "I didn't have change for the bus. Nobody will give you change. So they threw me off the bus.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Sunny tell a knock-knock joke.", "c": ["Korean manicurist"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Because this woman came in with a dog... and Ruby calls the dog the same word they were saying... when they were pointing at me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "You know, maybe in Korean, 'dog' isn't an insult. It could be like the word 'fox' to us. 'Oh, she's a dog!'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Sold religious articles. Statues of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, manufactured in Korea.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "In fact, he once spoke to the Reverend Sun Myung Moon.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Boy, they really stick to that understudy rule.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "My frankfurter. My frankfurter fell. Oh, no. It was really good. I can't believe that I dropped it.", "c": ["Gennice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "It's okay. It's just a hot dog. Don't worry, everything's gonna be okay. It was really good.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "What flavors do they have? ... How about pineapple? ... No pineapple. Just cherry, lemon and tutti-frutti.", "c": ["Bette Midler", "Kramer", "Vendor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "He bought two Jesus statues from me. He's a hell of a nice guy. You ever seen that face on him? It was like a big apple pie.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "No one's touching my feet. Between you and me, Elaine, I think I got a foot-odor problem.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "I say we back her off with a little chin music, you know what I mean?", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Caught that, what is it, Beaches, on cable last night. 'Wind Beneath My Wings,' huh? Give me a break.", "c": ["Paul"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "You stink. What's that? Nothing. Nothing.", "c": ["Jerry", "Umpire"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "I had an affair with a Korean woman. No, I feel I need to unburden myself.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Which means, 'This guy... this is not my kind of guy.'", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "I got the pineapple! I got the pineapple!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Bette's hurt! The understudy's boyfriend probably put him up to it.", "c": ["Spectator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "It's just a game! Oh, God!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "And I saw Beaches last night for the fourth time.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "While playing softball in the park, Ms. Midler was injured when another player thoughtlessly rammed her at home plate", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "This is the first time in my life that anyone has ever done anything like this for me.", "c": ["Gennice"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "My Broadway takes people like you and eats them up and spits them out. My Broadway is the Broadway of Merman and Martin and Fontanne.", "c": ["Bette Midler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Okay, that's it. Where's my tail? I heard every word you said.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "It reminds me of when I was a young girl in Korea and I met an American businessman. He was a very unusual man. Quick-tempered, with a strange, halting way of speaking.", "c": ["Korean manicurist"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "This man also refuses to take his shoes off.", "c": ["Korean manicurist"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "So you brought in a spy? Now, take your dry, bitten nails and get out!", "c": ["Korean manicurist"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "And if I see one piece of dark meat on there, it's your ass, buster.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "If I don't get a black-and-white cookie, I'm not gonna be very pleasant to be around. Now, that's impossible.", "c": ["Customer", "Vendor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Does he really give a damn about what those things cost or is he just acting?", "c": ["Gennice"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Well, that's the best way to get someplace you've never been.", "c": ["J. Peterman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Very soft. Huge button flaps, cargo pockets, drawstring waist, deep bi-swing vents in the back, perfect for jumping into a gondola.", "c": ["J. Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "That's my coat. You mean--? Yes. I'm J. Peterman.", "c": ["J. Peterman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "People are yelling out 'Gillooly.'", "c": ["Gennice"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "You should go to prison, eat prison food the rest of your life. Get out. Get out, each of you. Each and every one of you, get out of my cab!", "c": ["Cab driver"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Sophisticated yet different, without making a huge fuss about it. Rich, dark-brown calfskin leather. Matching linen vamp. Men's whole and half sizes, 7 through 13, price $135.", "c": ["J. Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "This innocent-looking shirt has something which isn't innocent at all. Touchability.", "c": ["J. Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Between you and me... I think your country is placing a lot of importance on shoe removal.", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "You stopped short with me? We don't do that in Korea. Take me home! I never want to see you again.", "c": ["Korean manicurist"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "What is it? It's Macaroni Midler! See how you're singing?", "c": ["Kramer", "Bette Midler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "You are so freaking talented.", "c": ["Bette Midler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "So you don't cry when your grandmother dies... but a hot dog makes you lose control?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Look at my shoelace. I can't do it like this. Please let me start it over? Please?", "c": ["Gennice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Face Painter"}, {"t": "Your problem is you brought your queen out too fast. What do you think, she's a feminist looking to get out of the house?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "No, the queen is old-fashioned. Likes to stay home, cook. Take care of her man. Make sure he feels good.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "You broke up with her because she beat you at chess? That's pretty sick.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "I don't see how I could perform sexually after something like that. I was completely emasculated.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Happy, pappy?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "I'm much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Hey, I got a real thing about shushing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "You ever get the feeling like you had a haircut, but you didn't have one? I'm all itchy back here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "What are we doing? What in God's name are we doing? Our lives. What kind of lives are these? We're like children. We're not men.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "We come up with all these stupid reasons to break up with women. I know, I know. That's what I do. That's what I do.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Are we gonna be sitting here when we're 60, like two idiots?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Like I don't know that I'm pathetic.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "I thought she became a lesbian. No, it didn't take.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "You happy, pappy?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "There isn't? Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry? Marriage? Family? They're prisons. Man-made prisons.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Is it all right if I use the bathroom now?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "How was your day today? Did you have a good day or a bad day? What kind of day was it? I don't know. How about you? How was your day?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Well, what if there should be an unfortunate accident?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "You're gonna rub out the dog?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "If you ask me, they have no business living amongst us. Vile, useless--", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "This vicious beast will never bother you again.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "We'll kidnap it. We'll kidnap the dog, we'll drop him off upstate. Then he won't bother you anymore and he won't get hurt.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "How come you eat your peas one at a time? Well, what's the hurry?", "c": ["Jerry", "Melanie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Will you marry me?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "To a woman? Of course a woman.", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "May I ask why?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Well, how do you like that? I got rope.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "I'm a man. Jerry, I'm a man.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Well, it took a couple hours of convincing, but I was persistent. I was just like those guys in the movies, and it worked.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "She's got great skin. She's got a rosy glow. A pinkish hue? Oh, she's got the hue.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "She eats her peas one at a time. You've never seen anything like it. It takes her an hour to finish them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "She scooped the niblets? Yes. That's what was so vexing.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "You stuck your hand out, so I shook it. I don't know about a pact.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "No champagne.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Fresh air, dandelions. We're doing this dog a huge favour.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "She wants to see The Muted Heart. Oh, The Muted Heart. Glenn Close, Sally Field. That should be good.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Well, I tell time by the sun. How close do you get? Well, I can guess within an hour.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Well, I can guess within the hour, and I don't even have to look at the sun.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "This is the dog? But it's so small. Yeah, but he's a fighter.", "c": ["Elaine", "Newman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "How about when Ford jumped out of that plane and was shooting back as he was falling? What about the underwater escape? Oh, man.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Let go of my shirt! This shirt is from Rudy's!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "George, I'm starting it.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Roxy, where have you been? We've been worried sick about you.", "c": ["Unknown neighbor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "This is like Pearl Harbor or the Kennedy assassination. It's, like, not even news, it's total shock.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Get out!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "Newman!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "I gotta make some changes. I'm not a woman. I'm a child. What kind of life is this?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "The Engagement"}, {"t": "The dog problem has been solved... there's this rabbi in my building", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I will never understand the bathrooms in this country. Why is it that the stall doors do not come all the way down to the floor?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Maybe it's so you can see if there's someone in there... Well, as a backup system", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "That's not a system. That's a complete breakdown of the system.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "the subject should resolve itself based on its own momentum", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "How am I gonna do this? I'm engaged to this woman? She doesn't even like me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Oh, what, you think I wanna marry George?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Do you realize this is going to be on our permanent records? It can never be erased. It'll follow us wherever we go for the rest of our lives.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I could care less. I hope it is on our record. I'm just sorry they didn't lock me up.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "oftentimes in life there are problems and just as often there are solutions", "c": ["Rabbi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Have I ever been less than forthright? No, you haven't. Well, maybe you have. What do I know? I probably have. Of course I have. What am I talking about?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Extend the doors on the toilet stalls at Yankee Stadium all the way to the floor.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I think it's fantastic. I think it's a fantastic idea... Well, I told it to Susan before and she didn't like it.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "It should resolve of its own volition... That's exactly what I said, but I used the word 'momentum.' 'Momentum,' same thing. Same thing.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "My God, I'm getting married in December. Do you know that? Yeah, I know. How am I gonna make December?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "My stomach aches. My neck is killing me. I can't turn. Look, look... You're turning. No, that's not a good turn.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "March 21st, the first day of spring... Rejuvenation, rebirth, everything's blooming. All that crap.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I think I'm a little bit scared of her. She's 5'3\", like 100 pounds, I'm frightened to death of her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Well, she's a woman. They don't like to be disappointed. Especially her. She does not like disappointment.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "You know what, even if you killed somebody, I wouldn't turn you in.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Definitely... I would turn you in... I wouldn't even think about it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Well, what kind of person are you, going around killing people? Well, if you killed this person, who's to say I wouldn't be next?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I have the SnackWells, which are very popular although I think sometimes with the so-called fat-free cookies people may overindulge, forgetting that they may be high in calories.", "c": ["Rabbi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "very often we cannot see the forest for the trees... Yeah, I don't know what that means.", "c": ["Rabbi", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "it should've been me. You know? I'm smart. I'm attractive.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "So you're nothing but a stoolie. Admit it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Hey, baby, I set the trends. Who do you think started this caffe latte thing? I've been drinking caffe lattes since the fifth grade and haven't looked back.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I was supposed to see this five years ago. I was in a Chinese restaurant with George and Elaine. We got screwed up and missed it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "See, that's littering. Maybe you ought to call the cops and turn me in. Maybe I will.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "The Lauers? Really? Do you not wanna go? No, no. I wanna go.", "c": ["Susan", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Spring! Rejuvenation, rebirth, everything is blooming. All that... If you don't wanna marry me, George, just say so!", "c": ["George", "Susan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "No, no, still marry. Still marry... No, no, still love. Still love.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Snow, Santa, all that stuff.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "She cried and you caved. How did you know that? I live and breathe, my friend. I live and breathe.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "That's why breakups take two or three tries. You gotta build up your immunity. You see those tears, you don't know what to do. It's like she was on fire. I was just trying to put her out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Well, at least you probably had some pretty good make-up sex afterwards. I didn't have any sex.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "In your situation the only sex you're gonna have better than make-up sex is if you're sent to prison and you have a conjugal visit.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Yeah, conjugal-visit sex. That is happening.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Look at this guy. He's eating a sandwich. Are you gonna eat those fries?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "In fact, she told me that she wishes she was the one who was getting married... She came off as pretty desperate.", "c": ["Rabbi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I recall the word 'loser' peppered throughout our conversation.", "c": ["Rabbi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry. Yes, of course, of course.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "But he's a rabbi. How can a rabbi have such a big mouth? That's what's so fascinating.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Because they don't allow outside drinks into the movie. Well, that's stupid. That's the rule. Yeah, well, we'll just see if we can't get around that.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I seem to recall a conversation with Mrs. Winston in 1F... I happened to mention to her how you felt it was never going to 'happen' for you.", "c": ["Rabbi"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Well, this morning I happened to find myself in the elevator with him... Oh, my God, you didn't.", "c": ["Rabbi", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Come on, coffee boy.", "c": ["Movie Theater Employee"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "That man in no way represents our ability to take in a nice piece of juicy gossip and keep it to ourselves.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I have seen the changes in you the past couple of years. Man, you have grown. You've matured... Well, I guess I'm getting older.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "Well, I started to tell her, and then all of a sudden, for some reason I just burst into tears. I bawled uncontrollably.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I never realized how powerful these tears are. I could have postponed it another five years if I wanted to.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "You did me the biggest favour of my life. I spoke to a lawyer. We're suing for millions.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "The coffee was too hot. It's supposed to be hot. Not that hot.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "A young lady I know, let's call her Elaine happened to find herself overwhelmed with feelings of resentment and hostility for her friend let's call him George.", "c": ["Rabbi"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "She also happened to mention to me that her friend had wondered if going to a prostitute while you're engaged is considered cheating. His feeling was they're never going to see each other again so, what's the difference?", "c": ["Rabbi"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.85, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "The Postponement"}, {"t": "I've never been any place there was no coffee.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "And people constantly try to give you coffee. 'Who's having coffee? Can I get you some coffee?' Coffee's one of the only things you can have... that people continue to try and give it to you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Waitresses ask, 'Can I fill it up? Can I warm it up? Can I top it off?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "You could lift up a manhole cover: 'We just made a fresh pot. Would you like some?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "It has taken over humanity. There are coffee machines we have to call 'mister.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "'Coffee anyone?' 'Hey, that's Mr. Coffee to you.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Why would anyone eat canned fruit? I mean, can anybody answer that?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I said, 'I've never seen you looser.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I could see the can if you're in the Army. But fresh fruit, it's available. It's there. It's two aisles over.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Well, scintillating as always.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "One would hope.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "It's definitely preposterous.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Suzy, I want you to go down to Java World. Get me a caf\u00e9 latte with a top. We're gonna run some tests on that top.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Get me one coffee drinker on that jury... you gonna walk out of there a rich man.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "There's a lot of women that would love to be in your position right now.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Name one.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Oh, he is impossible to shop for, Uncle Ned.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "He's gotta be on his feet like that all day? I mean, that's brutal.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "She's not concerned about the security guard. What kind of person is this? I'm marrying a person who doesn't care... this man has to stand eight hours a day... when he could easily be sitting.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Literally nothing. I sat in a chair and I stared.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Wow, that really is nothing.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Well, you wouldn't be on that jury. He would've weeded you out.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Frankly, I'm surprised you're so litigious.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Oh, I can be quite litigious.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Jackie says the top was faulty.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Hey, Maestro.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Maestro.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "There's really nothing available.", "c": ["Maestro"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "This is Bob Cobb. Maestro.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Jinx. Buy me a Coke.", "c": ["Elaine", "Maestro"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "He conducts the Policemen's Benevolent Association Orchestra.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "You should see him do 'Flight of the Bumblebee.' He just...", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's burning my retina.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I can sense the slightest human suffering.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Are you sensing anything right now?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Criminals. Boom, I'm up. Stop it, stop it, stop it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I'm gonna need a coffee here! Very hot! Boiling!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I didn't mention it earlier, but, actually, I prefer to be called Maestro.", "c": ["Maestro"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I suppose it's okay for Leonard Bernstein to be called Maestro... because he conducted the New York Philharmonic. So he gets to be called Maestro and I don't.", "c": ["Maestro"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I once saw him in a bar, and somebody said: 'Hello, Maestro, how about a beer?' Okay? So that's a fact.", "c": ["Maestro"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Jerry, my burn, it's gone, look.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "You're obviously a very well-proportioned individual.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I'd like to walk in here one day and find you sitting down. That would give me a lot of pleasure. Call me crazy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to. Why'd you put the balm on?", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Do you know what a balm is? You ever seen a balm? Didn't you read the instructions? No one can tell what a balm's gonna do. They're unpredictable.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Okay, from now on, I want you to call me Jerry the Great.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "'There's nothing to rent,' as if he doesn't want anyone else there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I'll take it!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "'I'll take it'? 'I'll take it'? Who told you to take it?", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "I'm his nephew, all right? Don't worry about it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Two million lire. You give me the check.", "c": ["Ciccio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Seventy-five thousand lire? Are you out of your mind? Kramer, you don't understand the conversion rate.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "Nobody put a gun to your head.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "The Maestro"}, {"t": "When you wake up, it's like you're being born all over again. You can't see, you can't talk. You're on your way to the bathroom trying to remember, 'How do I walk?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "If any invention marks the decline of human civilization it would have to be the snooze alarm. The snooze alarm is based on the idea that when the alarm goes off, you are not getting up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "You're not even awake, you're already a failure. They should sell the snooze alarm with an unemployment application and a bottle of tequila. Just make it a complete, pathetic loser kit.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "A woman with a sexy voice like yours, it's hard to believe you're waking up alone.", "c": ["James"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "I'm lying in bed, I'm wearing my nightie...", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "You're going out on a deaf date.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "I'd rather go on a deaf date than a blind date. Would you rather date the blind or the deaf?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Because I think the blind would be a little messy around the house. I mean, let's face it, they're not gonna get all the crumbs. You're constantly walking around with a sponge.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "I would rather date the blind. You could let the house go, you let yourself go. A good-looking blind woman doesn't really know you're not good enough for her.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "She'd figure it out soon enough.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Ow! You squirted me. Oh, sorry. Boy, that stings.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "You're going by sound? What are we, whales?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "What percentage of people are good-looking? Twenty-five percent. Twenty-five percent? No way. It's like 4 to 6 percent. It's a 20-1 shot.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Have you been to the motor vehicle bureau? It's a leper colony down there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "So basically what you're saying is, 95 percent of the population is undateable? Undateable!", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Then how are all these people getting together? Alcohol.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Pulp can move, baby!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "I must've been winking at the office. That's why Mr. Wilhelm was acting so misterioso.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Hello, Archie. Veronica. Mr. Weatherbee.", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman", "George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Like I'm gonna risk my job with the New York Yankees to make a few extra bucks. No, of course not.", "c": ["George", "Newman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "You don't eat meat? What are you, one of those...? No, I'm not... one of those.", "c": ["Holly", "Jerry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Just a salad.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Shut... up! You stupid little mutt!", "c": ["James"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Like a quiche thing? You're in the ballpark.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Women don't respect salad-eaters. You got that right.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "What is she making? I don't know, but I'm sure it had parents.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "And I'll be packing an artery.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "I was not winking, you idiot! That was the grapefruit! It's like acid!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Hope you didn't cut the fat off.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "What if I get Paul O'Neill to hit a home run tomorrow just for you? Really? Paul O'Neill would do that? For you, he would.", "c": ["Kramer", "Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "I know. Get out of this bed one day and walk again. That would be nice, but I really just need the card.", "c": ["Bobby", "Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Hey, salad's got nuttin' on this mutton.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "It's a line my butcher uses when we're chewing the fat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "God forbid I should borrow one from Holly. It might have belonged to Grandma Mema. Thanks for mutton.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "I'd ask you to stay tonight, but I only have the sofa bed, and it's where I sleep. We'll have to sleep head-to-toe.", "c": ["James"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "You spit it out... I was almost mauled because of that mutton!", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Reversed positions? Yeah. Head-to-toe. So what? Your genitals are still lined up.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "You promised a kid in the hospital I'd hit two home runs? Yeah. What, no good? It's terrible. You don't hit home runs like that. It's hard.", "c": ["Paul O'Neill", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "You're saying Babe Ruth was a liar? He did not. No, but he wasn't stupid enough to promise two.", "c": ["Kramer", "O'Neill"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Yeah! One more to go!", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "That is so Franco.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Hey. That's not a home run. Well, maybe not technically, but... You said he could hit two home runs.", "c": ["Bobby", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "I usually like mine with an angioplasty.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "We could argue all night over who took the napkins, but in today's modern world, it just doesn't seem relevant.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "George, by the way, tomorrow night, Paul O'Neill has to catch a fly ball in his hat.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "You gave Mema's napkins to some dogs? What happened to my jacket? The dogs did that, but it wasn't their fault. Somebody stuffed some strange meat in the pockets.", "c": ["Holly", "Jerry", "James"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Word has it you were the brains behind the whole thing... His name is conspicuously absent from this card. Like he went out of his way not to sign it.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "That's what I'm afraid of.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "Yogi Berra, Lou Piniella, Bucky Dent, Billy Martin, Dallas Green, Dick Hauser, Bill Virdon, Billy Martin, Stump Merrill, Billy Martin, Bob Lemon, Billy Martin, Gene Michael, Buck Showalter...", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "The Wink"}, {"t": "How much did you lose by? I don't even know. It was like from now to now. Now to now. Now, now, now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "If I had a pimple, I would have won.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Thirty hours later, lost in the fjord... a welcoming smile. Thank God she spotted the epaulets on my Norwegian ice-fishing vest.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "This catalogue is all about how to score in a foreign country.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "I always look annoyed. When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Think about it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Yeah, you do. He looks busy. He looks very busy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's Trinidadian and Tobagan.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "You'd think you'd have six alarm clocks... paying off little kids to come banging on your door.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "What responsibility? I don't have any responsibility. / Well, you gotta wake him up. / He'll get up.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "And the guy just took off. / Don't say anything. / Who am I gonna tell? / I know, it's just something you have to say.", "c": ["Judy", "Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "My money's on the snooze. I bet he hit the snooze for an extra five, and it never came back on.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Alarm clocks? No, I never use them. Don't trust them. / What do you do? / I have a mental alarm.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "It's based on your body clock. Your body has an internal mechanism. It knows what time it is.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "It's got these high-volume accusage jets... oscillating and pulsating, soothing your every aching muscle.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Isn't that the same temperature of the coffee that scalded you? / I think it's a little cooler than that.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "He doesn't have any running water? / I don't ask those kind of questions anymore.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Sorry about the Olympics. / Me too.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jean-Paul"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Catalogue-writer's block? / Yeah, that's funny.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Why separate knob! Why separate knob!", "c": ["Jean-Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Flight to Cleveland? / It works. / Elaine. / It works.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Singing duo, Captain and....? / Tennille!", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "There are some reps in from the Houston Astros... and I want you to show them a good time.", "c": ["Wilhelm"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Jean-Paul, how was your soak? A good soak? / Oh, man, very good soak. The soak of the year.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jean-Paul"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "I set this thing for 20 seconds. This was for two minutes, see? / Don't say anything.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "I'm not taking a soak... in that human bacteria frappe you got going there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "It's like Sweden, man.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Till this bastard over here says; 'Let's call the sons of bitches, go visit them in New York.'", "c": ["Houston Astros rep"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "We said, 'That son of a bitch doesn't know what he's got in store for him.'", "c": ["Houston Astros rep"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Well, maybe not as much as this bastard. / I can hold my own.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "I'm saying, get the hell out of there!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "They sit in a room with a big clock all night long... just waiting to make that call.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "That's how they talk. You know, everyone's a bastard or a son of a bitch.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Boy, that son of a bitch Boggs can really hit.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "I fell asleep in the hot tub, and the heat pump broke. Water went down to 58 degrees.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Your core temperature? / Here, feel my hand. Yeah, feel. / This son of a bitch is ice cold.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Thirty thousand feet above your head, you bastard.", "c": ["Clayton"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever coming to Houston. Not as long as you bastards are running things.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "George! Get ahold of yourself.", "c": ["Wilhelm"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Oh, look at that cute little bastard. You are mommy's little bastard, aren't you?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, you son of a bitch, I'm just trying to be friendly.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Sixteen thousand BTU's.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Every wake-up call I make is important. You're no more important than any of our guests.", "c": ["Wake-up call operator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "I think I offended the wake-up guy. / What if he doesn't call out of spite?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Hey, believe me, if I had been with you there in Barcelona... you'd be polishing that medal right now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "I'm exhausted. I've been on this street 1000 times. It's never looked so strange. The faces, so cold.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "In the distance, a child is crying. Fatherless. A bastard child, perhaps.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Thank God I took off my heels and put on my... Himalayan walking shoes!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Jean-Paul, the electricity went out! Wake up, wake up, we've gotta go! It's 8:47! / 8:47?", "c": ["Jerry", "Jean-Paul"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Idiot, I trusted you!", "c": ["Jean-Paul"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Well, I guess I hit the snooze.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "We all get a little cuckoo. I used to be like you. Berating personnel, calling managers on the field during a game.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "I've got two words to say to you, George. Hot tub.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "You got it in, but it slips out. Put it in again, it slips out again.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "You know, we used to talk. I don't think he liked me very much.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Hot Tub"}, {"t": "Yes, I'm a very lazy eater. That's why I like soup. First of all, it looks half-digested when they put it down in front of you. So you feel like half the work is done already.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "I'm hoping Campbell's comes out with an IV line of soup... that you could just jam right into your arm, you know? Campbell's tomato intravenous. Mainline gumbo.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "How's yours, Grandpa? Oh, chunky style.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "You called me 'Schmoopie.' You're Schmoopie. - You're Schmoopie. - You're Schmoopie.", "c": ["Jerry", "Sheila"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "You can't eat this soup standing up. Your knees buckle.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "He's secretly referred to as the 'Soup Nazi.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "It's French, armoire. Armoire.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "But you got a nice face. Two even.", "c": ["Street Vendor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Too late. I think he picked up the scent.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "I didn't get any bread. - Just forget it. Let it go.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Bread, $2.00 extra. Two dollars? But everyone in front of me got free bread. - You want bread? - Yes, please. Three dollars! - What? - No soup for you!", "c": ["Soup Nazi", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Can't you just make an exception? Please? I've got a nice face.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "I gave you a taste. What do you want? - Why can't we share? - I told you not to say anything. You can't go in there, flout the rules, and then think I'm gonna share.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "This is what comes from living under a Nazi regime.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Hi, Schmoopie. - Hi, Schmoopie. - No, you're Schmoopie. - You're Schmoopie.", "c": ["Jerry", "Sheila"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Boy, he's a weird guy, isn't he?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Ahoy, there.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Well, a hot bowl of mulagatani would hit the spot. - Mulagatani? - Yeah, it's an Indian soup. Simmered to perfection by one of the great soup artisans in the modern era.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "He's not a Nazi. He just happens to be a little eccentric. You know, most geniuses are.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Let me ask you something. Is it just me, or do you find it unbearable to be around Jerry and that girl? - Oh, I know. It's awful.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "I had to listen to a discussion on which one is actually called Schmoopie.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "You're pushing your luck, little man.", "c": ["Soup Nazi"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "What is that there? Is that lima bean? - Yes. - Never been a big fan.", "c": ["Elaine", "Soup Nazi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, Scent of a Woman.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "You know something? No soup for you! - What? - Come back, one year! Next!", "c": ["Soup Nazi", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Look, you wanna get hurt? I don't think you wanna get hurt. If you wanna get hurt, I can hurt you. Now, just back off.", "c": ["Street Tough"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Street toughs took my armoire? Yeah, it was very frightening. My life was in danger. You should've seen the way they talked to me.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "What is this? You're kissing in my line? Nobody kisses in my line.", "c": ["Soup Nazi"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "You just cost yourself a soup. - How dare you? Come on, Jerry, we're leaving. - Jerry?", "c": ["Soup Nazi", "Sheila", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 8.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "So essentially, you chose soup over a woman? It was a bisque.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.75, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "So did these thieves want any money? - No. - They just wanted the armoire? - Yeah, they were quite taken with it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "I don't think George has ever thought he's better than anybody.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "All right, I am happy. And I'll tell you why. The two of you were making me and every one of your friends sick. Right, Elaine?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "With all that kissing and the 'Schmoopie, Schmoopie, Schmoopie.' Out in public like that. It's disgusting.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "You reneged. - All I did was shake your hand.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "You are the only one who understands me. - You suffer for your soup. - Yes, that is right. You demand perfection from yourself, from your soup.", "c": ["Soup Nazi", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Gazpacho, por favor. - 'Por favor'? - Oh, I'm part Spanish. Adios, muchacho. You heard him. Get out.", "c": ["Customer", "Soup Nazi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "I can be a little sweetie-tweetie-wheetie-wheetie.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "You want a little tuna fishy? - Yeah, a little tuna fishy. Fishy.", "c": ["George", "Susan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "The Soap Nazi gave it to you? Why? Well, I told him the whole story, and he just let me have it.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Because you love your little Kiki, don't you?", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "You? If I knew it was for you, I never would have given it to him! I would have taken a hatchet and smashed it to pieces.", "c": ["Soup Nazi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "I said, are you talking to me? Well, maybe he was talking to me. Was you talking to him? Because you was obviously talking to one of us. So what is it? Who? Who was you talking to?", "c": ["Street Toughs"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "'Five cups chopped porcini mushrooms, half a cup of olive oil, three pounds celery.' That is my recipe for wild mushroom.", "c": ["Elaine", "Soup Nazi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "You're through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.78, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "Now that his recipes are out he's not gonna make any more soup! He's moving out of the country! Moving to Argentina! No more soup, Jerry. No more for any of us!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "The Soup Nazi"}, {"t": "They got us trained to use the cash machine. We're chickens in an experiment...waiting for that pellet to come down the shoot.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "The here-comes-the-money sound, you know? It's exciting. Don't you get excited? 'It's coming. It's coming. They're giving me money.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "So you're taking relationship advice from Chemical Bank now?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Why does everything have to be 'us'? Is there no 'me' left? Why can't there be some things just for me? Is that so selfish?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Actually, that's the definition of selfish.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Have you given your code to anyone? No one's ever asked. Do you want it? It's Jor-EI. Superman's father on Krypton. Of course.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "What if my life depended on it? If you're in some situation where fast cash will save your life...l'll give you the code.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "My foot fell asleep. How did your foot fall asleep? I crossed my legs. I forgot to alternate.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "You're lucky. At least you got something to do.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Did you hear that? He said, 'Nice to meet you.' So? So we've met before. At Katie Ash's party. We talked for, like, 10 minutes.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "I talked about how my uncle worked...in the book depository building with Lee Harvey Oswald. Not ringing a bell. When my uncle said to him, 'The president's been shot'...Oswald winked at him and said, 'I'm gonna go catch a movie.'", "c": ["Elaine", "Fred"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "I remember someone had played tic-tac-toe on it and the X's won. They went diagonally from the top left to the bottom right.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "I'm gonna do TV spots for Leapin' Larry's Appliance Store. That was Leapin' Larry himself.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "I'm watching the watchers, Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Yeah, those civil servants who risk their lives really got it made.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "You're lucky they let you drive a car.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "They're taking the West Side Highway. At this time of day? That's insane. They're heading straight into gridlock. Oh, those fools.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Really? I'm surprised. He doesn't meet that many women.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "I don't know anything about your cycles.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "We're out of Bosco.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "When I lost my leg in the boating accident last year...I got so depressed about this damn prosthetic...I thought I was gonna have to give up the business. But now, I'm rejuvenated.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "[Kramer's foot falls asleep and he mimics Larry's limp]", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "That is a great impression.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "You'd think he'd have a sense of humour.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "You just joked yourself out of that commercial, didn't you, munjamba?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "The amazing thing is you never have any place to go.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "I don't like being on, Jerry. I'd much rather be off. Trust me, you're off.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Once the button falls off, that's it. I'll never fix it.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "None that I can...remember.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "All right. You're locked up in a prison in Turkey. I have your wallet. The only way I can bribe the guards to get you out...is for you to give me your ATM code. Call the embassy. They're closed. Why? Bomb threat.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "J. Peterman. J. Crew.", "c": ["Peterman", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "But not to worry. I'll tell the ma\u00eetre d' it'll just be the three bulls.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Come on, weave your web, liar-man. I got nothing. l... I'm blank. Come on, George...what's the matter with you? I'm choking.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Well, George...we dine.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "And there, tucked into the river's bend, was the object of my search...the Guangia River Market. Fabrics and spices traded under a starlit sky. It was there that I discovered the Pamplona Beret. Sizes seven and a half through eight and three quarters. Price, $35.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "You know, this is very nice, but I really could take a cab, really... Nonsense, George. Besides, it gives me a chance to tell you about my trip to Burma. I discovered a very unusual corduroy.", "c": ["George", "Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "It's my mother. She's at death's door. What? I just pray to God...we can make it there in time.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "You're attracted to him because he can't remember you. I am? But that's so sick. That's God's plan. He doesn't really want anyone to get together.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "I'm here for you, Mama.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "I'm George Costanza. I was having dinner with your son.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "The funny thing is, you know, I would really love to tell someone...because it's killing me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "It's Bosco. You know, the chocolate syrup. I love that stuff. I pour it in milk. It's my favourite drink.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Bosco. Mama? Quiet, quiet. It's a secret. Bosco! Bosco! Shut up. It's a secret. Mama, what are you trying to say? Bosco. She's gone.", "c": ["Peterman's mother", "George", "Peterman"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "I reached down and there was nothing there.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Well, we can throw out birthdays immediately. That's too obvious. And no numbers for you. You're a word man. All right. Let's go deeper. What kind of man are you? Well, you're weak, spineless. A man of temptations.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Oh, you may stray...but you'll always return to your dark master...the cocoa bean. And only the purest syrup nectar...can satisfy you. If you could, you'd guzzle it by the gallon.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Shut up! Shut up!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "When Mama said 'Bosco'...she must have been communicating something. Her legacy. A dying wish, perhaps.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "I'm speaking at a woman's rights conference. Yes, and I'm speaking at a men's conference.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Perhaps Bosco was this man's name.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "You know...the important thing is that you learned something. No, I didn't.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "The fact is, we feel things are fine the way they are.", "c": ["Fire Captain"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Attention, company 390. Structure fire...at Leapin' Larry's Appliance Warehouse. Leapin' Larry's? Hey, that's uptown. You gotta take Amsterdam. Stay out of this, Kramer.", "c": ["Radio", "Kramer", "Fire Captain"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "What am I doing? I'm on a date with this guy because he didn't remember me? He's demented. Listen to him.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Desota's down, but Cosmo's got the caboose.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "The machine won't open without the code. George, there's no time. Tell him your code. Shout out your code, man. Code! The code!", "c": ["Larry", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "Anyone for Bosco?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "'The Rogue's Wallet. It's where he kept his card, his dirty little secret. Short, devious, balding...his name was Costanza. He killed my mother.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "The Secret Code"}, {"t": "When did tick-tack-toe become the pound sign? Why not call it what it is? 'Leave your numeric message now, and then press Archie's head.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "This is like the harassment key for people in a fight, you know.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Yeah, me too.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Mano a baldo.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "George fights dirty. Pull hair, poke eyes, groin stuff. Whatever I gotta do.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Would I want to see what Mary Todd wore to Lincoln's funeral?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "You're a man's woman. You hate other women and they hate you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Saddle up and ride.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "There's nothing more pathetic than a grown man who's afraid of a woman.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "This world here, this is George's sanctuary. If Susan comes into contact with this world, his worlds collide.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Chicks, man. Too many chicks know my number.", "c": ["Ramon"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Hey, well, stay out of the deep end.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "What's in the deep end?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "I really think I should have been consulted about this.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "A little buffer zone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Well, these seats have no lumbar.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "So, well, then I had to kill him and the police are still looking for me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Worlds collide. Yes, it blows up.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "It's just common sense. Anybody knows you gotta keep your worlds apart.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Well, wait a second. Don't you see? That's 555-FlLK. But 555-FlLM is Moviefone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "So I'm filk. You're filk.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Quite the d\u00e9colletage for a suffragette.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "The vault?", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "And then back to her place, strip down to bra and panties for a tickle fight?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "That's what you think girls do, isn't it? Yes, I do.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Yeah, Cupid's Rifle. Eight-thirty, Sony Lincoln Square.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Yeah, Firestorm's good. I saw it yesterday. My buddy Jerry, he's seen it twice. You wanna talk to him?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Bye-bye, Jerry.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Look. You're a nice guy, but I actually only have three friends. I really can't handle any more.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Did you just say 'vault'? You got that from Elaine?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Worlds are colliding. George is getting upset!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "You see, right now, I have relationship George, but there is also independent George.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Movie George, coffee-shop George, liar George, bawdy George.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "I love that George. Me too. And he's dying, Jerry.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "A George divided against itself cannot stand.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Hello, and welcome to Moviefone. Brought to you by The New York Times and Hot 97.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Kramer, is that you?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "What time does Chow Fun start? I don't know.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Hey, Jerry, look at all the towels they gave me. I really hit the jackpot.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Come on. Aren't you gonna join us? You know, I'm supposed to meet... someone. I'll wait for him outside.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, Georgie boy, over here.", "c": ["Ramon"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "One, two... three... four.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Ollie, ollie, oxen free!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Well... go ahead. You go.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Come on, Newman. Do it. No. He might die. Yeah. Maybe.", "c": ["George", "Newman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "'George. Elaine and I went to see Chunnel with Jerry.' With Jerry, huh? With Jerry. Great. Great.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Hello, and welcome to Moviefone. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, press one.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you selected.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Why don't you just tell me where you wanna see the movie.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Everybody out of the Chunnel! Everybody out of the Chunnel!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Come on. I know you're there, laughing at me. Laughing and lying and laughing.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "I had to go to Reggie's, Jerry. Reggie's.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "They're killing independent George! They're all in on it!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Worlds are colliding!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "Hello, and welcome to your worst nightmare.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "The Pool Guy"}, {"t": "If you see someone with a hearing aid...you don't think, 'Oh, they must have been listening real good. Yeah, to a lot of important stuff.' No, they're deaf.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "It's hard enough living next door.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "If I date a taking person...everyone's taking, taking, taking. No one's giving. It's bedlam.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "I'd just come from buying a speedboat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "Haven't been in the lab yet.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "I think it began with a W, maybe a Q.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "He scratches off a 32 and he puts in '31.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "Well, this is the Jerry Seinfeld that only I know.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "I'll be cut out of the loop.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "I'm gonna do a hard target search of every drug store, general store...health store, grocery store in a 25 block radius", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "Figure it's something.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "I got a 31 waist, mister.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "Sixty? Just give me the whole case, I'll be on my way.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "Yeah, the oceans are really getting very sudsy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "Do the bums ever complain, 'Soup again?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "What does a poet need an unlisted number for?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "You know, you use the: The what? You know, the:", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "There's really no big surprises here...so make-up sex is all that I have left.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "I'm sure you'll have another fight, George.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "You're lucky you're walking out of here with a pair of pants on!", "c": ["Unknown poker player"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "If you were in the Mafia, would you tell her every time you killed someone?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "You can't have sex with someone you admire.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "I just couldn't decide if he was really spongeworthy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "You know what you are? You're a ribbon bully.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "It's like Beat the Clock. There's a lot of pressure there.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "And if I can speak frankly, I'm actually quite good at it.", "c": ["Billy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "She is depraved.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "I change the 32 waist on the label...to a 31 on all my jeans.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "It's too late.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "I guess we're just going to have to teach him to wear the ribbon.", "c": ["AIDS Walk volunteer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "She said I wasn't spongeworthy. Wouldn't waste a Sponge on me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "It's probably so the woman has one last chance to change her mind.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "I wish I could help you, but I can't afford two of them.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "The Sponge"}, {"t": "Gum is one of the weirdest human inventions. It's not a liquid. It's not a solid. It's not a food. What is it? It isn't really anything. You know, I mean, it's like a stationary bike for your jaw.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Remember when you were in school and teachers would get riled up if they caught you with gum? When you're a kid, you think what's the big deal? As an adult, I can understand it because when you're chewing gum, you don't look thrilled with anything.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "World War II, that was an important historical event? Yeah, I'm sure. They landed a man on the moon in 1969? Yeah, right. Yeah, I buy that, teach.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Do you think she's happy? -Who? -The cashier. -Ruthie Cohen? -You know her name? Sure. -I don't think I've ever spoken to her. -Maybe that's why she's happy.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-That stinky old movie house? -Well, you should smell it now.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "He was the assistant wardrobe man on Spartacus. He has some fascinating insights into the production. Why would you spend $7 to see a movie that I could watch on TV?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Well, why go to a fine restaurant when you can just stick something in the microwave? Why go to the park and fly a kite when you can just pop a pill?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-I've taken him under my wing. -Oh, then I'm not worried.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Yes, yes, we shall all try a piece and tell you how delicious it is.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-George. -I don't chew gum. It's different. Where did you get it? A friend of mine in Chinatown gave it to me. -I can ask him where he got it. -No, don't bother. -It's no problem. -I don't want it.", "c": ["Lloyd", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Jerry, Lloyd says it's no problem. He's capable of locating the gum.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "I think this Ruthie Cohen gave me the wrong change. Didn't I pay with a 20? I'm sure I paid with a 20.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "I think I finally figured out what the flavour is in this gum. It's a little lo meiny.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "That's around the same time I broke up with Lloyd. You don't think that I had anything to do with his breakdown, do you?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "I remember, when we parted company, I was babbling incoherently for months. Yeah, well, I've got news for you. While I was growing up all I heard from my mother was; 'Why can't you be more like that Lloyd Braun?' And in the end, Lloyd Braun became more like you.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-I thought they were out of town. -Why do you think I'm going now?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "It used to belong to Jon Voight. -The actor, right? -Something like that.", "c": ["George", "Mr. Lazzari"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh, you look as pretty as you did back in high school. Boy, those were some crazy times.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Lloyd Braun can do anything he puts his mind to. He's fine, Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Oh, well, actually, Lloyd, Jerry and I have to sit in the front row because-- Because he forgot his glasses.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "That was odd. Am I crazy or does Jerry not wear glasses? You're not crazy. Jerry does wear glasses. He just forgot them, that's all. Not crazy.", "c": ["Lloyd", "Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but I didn't want Lloyd thinking I was leading him on again. Seeing him made me feel very uncomfortable. No, you don't want to be uncomfortable.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-Poor Lloyd. -I know. Completely bonkers. I'm sorry I can't be so flip about this kind of thing. You know, after what happened to Pop.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Pop? What happened to Pop? I thought you heard. He had a nervous breakdown last year. That's why I'm taking care of him.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "He doesn't have the auto shop anymore? It was too much for him.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-I gotta go. -What? I just remembered I gotta be someplace. That's enough, Pop. Put down the wrench, Pop.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Pop! Pop!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-Sorry you forgot those glasses. -I don't know what I was thinking.", "c": ["Lloyd", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-How did you like that gum? -He loved it.", "c": ["Lloyd", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Kramer, you know, there isn't a light in the ladies room. Yeah, it's being repaired. Oh, God. -You all right? -I sat too close to the screen.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Officer. Officer, is there some reason this man has too be using a hose. I mean, he's flooding the sidewalk. It's a waste of water. Couldn't he just use a broom?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Lady, you sold me. Hey, you with the hose.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Here, put these glasses on. -What's this for? -Lloyd's gonna be here any minute. -So what? -Well, he thinks you wear those.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "This is ridiculous. I'm not gonna put these on. Oh, okay. So he'll just think that the two of you didn't sit with him on purpose. Oh, yeah, that's very nice. Very nice.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "And I can prove it. You see, I was doodling on the bill and so if you have a 20 in there with big lips on it well, that's mine.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Hey, George. -Thought you didn't chew gum. -I don't.", "c": ["Lloyd", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Think I'm gonna forget about this? I haven't forgotten. I don't forget easily.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Yeah, now, see, this is what the holidays are all about. Three buddies sitting around chewing gum, huh?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Actually, the importer is right in Chinatown. I'll introduce you. You can get it get it whenever. It's not necessary.", "c": ["Lloyd", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-So how about that Elaine today? -Oh, baby. What is that all about, huh? She was practically undressing in front of me at the theatre.", "c": ["Lloyd", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-I didn't see anything. -You really missed a show, buddy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Lloyd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-Warning signs? -Nervousness, irritability, paranoia. What? What are you talking about? I'm not the one with the problem. Lloyd Braun was in the nuthouse, not me.", "c": ["Deena", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-Are you listening to me? -Do you see that woman? She stole $20 from me.", "c": ["Deena", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey, you! Get back here! Don't gallop away. I'm on to you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "So you're saying she was on a horse? I'm telling you, that cashier is riding horses on my money.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Go down to the stables, snoop around. See if any high-flying cashier has been throwing $20 bills around with big lips.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-Hey. -Well, if it isn't Chesty Larue. -What?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Oh, God. I lost a button, so my blouse was wide open. I must've left it at the theatre. -Maybe it's in the lost and found. -I know. I have to go check it out. It's a beautiful button. It's antique ivory. It was my mother's.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "You know, the way you were wolfing down that popcorn, maybe you ate it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Mr. Haarwood, what an unexpected surprise to have you back at the Alex. Well, I'm in a bit of a quandary. I've misplaced my spectacles.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jeffrey Haarwood"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Oh, my goodness. What a spanking button.", "c": ["Jeffrey Haarwood/Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Listen, lady, I've got six minutes left on that meter and I'm not budging until you admit you stole my $20. You're not so stuff tough when you're not on your horse, are you, Ruthie?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Your car's on fire. Merry Christmas.", "c": ["Ruthie Cohen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "What happened to your car, buddy? The Jon Voight car is no more.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Are you out of your mind? What's the problem here? This hot dog's been here since the silent era. -You'd have to be insane to eat it.", "c": ["George", "Lloyd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-No, no, this man is not insane. There's nothing wrong with it or you. -Kramer-- -No, no, I'll show you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Interesting texture. It's chewy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "You're that lady that was talking to the cops, aren't you? -Hey, Joe! -Oh, wait, wait! Stop it!", "c": ["Hose Man", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-Hey, everybody. -Whoa, Elaine! Once again you've managed to top yourself.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Look, honey, I know you're trying to get Lloyd to notice you but this is too much. Parading around in a wet T-shirt. I got sprayed with a hose.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I'm sorry, but the Alex is a family theatre not one of your swing joints.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "You remember the woman on the horse? She wanted my spot. -To park her horse? -No, she wasn't on the horse.", "c": ["George", "Deena"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "So your car caught fire because of my father and the woman on the horse. That's right. And him. -The man with the flowers? -Yeah, yeah, the flower guy.", "c": ["Deena", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "I can't believe it. That's Jerry Seinfeld. -Who? -Jerry Seinfeld, my best friend. He can explain all of this. Jerry, Jerry! Over here, Jerry. It's me! Where are you going? It's-- What are you--?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-That was your best friend? -Yeah. -But he doesn't wear glasses. -That man was wearing glasses. Don't you see? He was doing it to fool Lloyd Braun.", "c": ["Deena", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Here you go. -All this? -Yeah. -A hundred dollars worth. -I gave you a hundred dollars? You sure did. -Am I crazy or is that a lot of gum? -It's a lot of gum!", "c": ["Lloyd", "Store Clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "The only person who could really fit into this costume would have to be a short, stocky man of somewhat generous proportion.", "c": ["Jeffrey Haarwood"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "You don't say.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "I beg your pardon, Your Majesty but we don't accept bills with lipstick on the president.", "c": ["Store Clerk"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "So I had it all along. How do you like that? I guess I owe that cashier an apology.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. No, no, Deena, it's not what you think. This isn't mine. I got it from the Institute. The Institute!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "-Where is your friend, King Henry? -He ran away.", "c": ["Jeffrey Haarwood", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "You know, I've been looking all over for it. -Did you find it here? -It was in the lost and found. -Shall I undo it? -Yes, of course. -Oh, thank you. -I'm a little ticklish.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Tickle, tickle. We really gotta get that Elaine a boyfriend. Oh, tell me about it.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Gum"}, {"t": "Elaine fantasizes about a song: 'Oh, Elaine, you are so beautiful. So, so beautiful. Not to mention your personality, which is so, so interesting. If you want, you can quit your job and never work again.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'So I take it he's sponge-worthy.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Awkward pause as Elaine reluctantly reveals intimate details: 'Well, actually, he doesn't really like to do... everything.'", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'Sure. Why not? You're there.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Kramer's Price Club haul: '4-pound can of black olives, 48-pack of Eggo waffles, gallon of barbecue sauce, ten pounds of cocktail meatballs'", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'This isn't for a person. It's for Biosphere 3.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'Sorry, Kramer. I got to watch the hands. My hands are my life.'", "c": ["Clyde"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "George's parents getting ready: 'All right. All right. Let's not get into panic mode!'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Frank's tie argument: 'Go to any office building on Seventh Avenue and tell me if there's anyone there wearing a thin tie like that. Go ahead.'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'I think he should wear whatever tie he wants.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'I'll show these people something about taste. This is gonna be fun.'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Elaine's panic about 'hot-and-heavy': 'What if he tells John? Then John's gonna think that I think that we're hot-and-heavy.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'I'm trying to get a little squirrel to come over to me here. I don't wanna make any big, sudden movements. I'll frighten him away.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Kramer offered the hansom cab: 'Drive the horse?' 'Giddyup.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'Why are you complimenting her? She didn't make it. Rowena did.'", "c": ["Mr. Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Cornish game hen confusion: 'What is that, like a little chicken?' 'No, it's not a little chicken.' 'Little chicken.'", "c": ["Frank", "Mr. Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'How hard can it be to kill this thing?'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'If I had a dime for every book he's actually read... I'd be broke.'", "c": ["Mrs. Ross"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Frank's chicken taxonomy confusion: 'Let me understand. You got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who's having sex with the hen?'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'Something's missing!' 'Something's missing, all right.'", "c": ["Frank", "Mr. Ross"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Firestorm spoiler moment: 'Hey! I haven't seen it yet.' 'It has nothing to do with the plot!' 'Still, I like to go in fresh!'", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Kramer's fake tour guide facts: 'This was designed in 1850 by Joe Pepitone... built during the Civil War so the Northern armies could practice fighting on grass.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "John's song title: 'Hot-and-Heavy'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'Who doesn't serve cake after a meal? What kind of people? Would it kill them to put out a pound cake? Something.'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'We're sitting there like idiots... drinking coffee without a piece of cake.'", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "The missing marble rye revelation and Frank's theft", "c": ["George", "Susan", "Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'No, they didn't forget to put it out. It's deliberate. Deliberate, I tell you!'", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'Rye bread doesn't just disappear.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Kramer's Beef-a-Reeno jingle: 'I'm so keen-o On Beef-a-Reeno What a delicious cuisine-o Fit for a king and queen-o'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'Oh, well, this is all locking in now. It is all locking in.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'He wrote a song about it.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'You know, one of these days... something terrible is gonna happen to you. It has to.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'No, I'm gonna be just fine.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'I don't think we have any bread, but we've got water.'", "c": ["Mr. Ross"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'What have I done? My whole plan is depending on Kramer? Have I learned nothing?'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Schnitzer's bakery confrontation over the last marble rye", "c": ["Jerry", "Old Lady"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'Give me that rye.' 'Stop it.' 'I want that rye, lady.' 'Help! Someone help!' 'Shut up, you old bag.'", "c": ["Jerry", "Old Lady"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'I didn't think we were hot-and-heavy. I mean, who's hot and who's heavy?'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'And you know what, I've been thinking about what we do... and I'm thinking of... adding a new number to my, you know, repertoire.'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Horse flatulence disrupting the romantic carriage ride", "c": ["Kramer", "Mr. Ross", "Mrs. Ross"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'One never knows how the intestinal workings of the equine will function.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "Jerry fishing for the rye with a fishing pole from the window", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'Your hook is too small. This is for, like, a muffin.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "'Schnitzer's.' - Jerry catches the rye", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "The Rye"}, {"t": "You throw a rock into a crowd, that's considered terrorism. But if you have a nice follow-through, you know, that's golf.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "It's a little white ball doing 100 miles an hour on a white background. 'I got it. I lost it. I got it. I lost it.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Take a ball out of your pocket. Throw it down. Who's gonna know where the hell it came from?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "How did you lock your keys in your car? How? Because I'm an idiot.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Just waiting for the membership to kick in.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Calendar says winter, but the gods of spring are out.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "I sneak in with Stan the Caddy. We go through the caddies' entrance.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "He thinks eventually I'll have a shot at making it big on the Senior Tour.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Here's what you do. You bring a lightweight jacket. That way, the sun comes out, you play the jacket off the sweater.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Oh, great. It's the braless wonder.", "c": ["Unknown woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Well, I hope you can get me a gift anyway.", "c": ["Sue Ellen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "So keep it under your hat.", "c": ["Wilhelm"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "I can't understand why they haven't won a pennant in 15 years.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Locking your keys in your car is the best career move you ever made.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "This woman has never, not once ever, as long as I have known her... worn a bra.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "She's your Lex Luthor.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Have I ever bought you a jockstrap as a gift?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "My presence in that office can only hurt my chances.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "It's not a top. It's a bra.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Oh, I know.", "c": ["Sue Ellen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "All right, fine. I'll drive the three hours each way and take them off myself.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "I could have said just about anything.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Kramer, is that woman just wearing a bra?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Oh, mama.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "She's wearing it as a top.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "She's a menace to society.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Your dreams have been shattered. Somebody's gotta be held accountable.", "c": ["Jackie Chiles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous.", "c": ["Jackie Chiles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Oh Henry!? That's one of our top-selling candy bars. It's got chocolate, peanuts, nougat. It's delicious, scrumptious, outstanding.", "c": ["Jackie Chiles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Like taking candy from a baby.", "c": ["Jackie Chiles"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Jerry took the fliers off the car. I got the whole thing covered.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Obviously, he was in some sort of a terrible car accident... and trouper that he is, he tried to make it into work, sir.", "c": ["Wilhelm"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Find him, Wilhelm.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "He's dead. Costanza's dead.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "We can't grieve forever. Gotta get back to business.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "You're just out for sex! You're just out for money!", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBls last year. He's got a rocket for an arm. You don't know what the hell you're doing!", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.83, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "They could use the break.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "I managed to survive... on grubs and puddle water until a kindly old gentleman picked me up.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Gotta admit, I never tasted one of those.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Not as long as I'm running the show!", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "And she was beautiful in that bra. I'm crazy about her. I love her whole free-swinging, freewheeling attitude.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Have her try on the bra. See if it fits.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "You damn fools! Look at that. We got nothing now. Nothing. I've been practicing law for 25 years, you're listening to a caddy.", "c": ["Jackie Chiles"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "A bra's gotta fit right up against a person's skin. Like a glove!", "c": ["Jackie Chiles"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't think you'll have any trouble getting a table.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "The Caddy"}, {"t": "I love it when people are complimented on their clothes. And they accept the compliment as if it was about them. Nice tie. Well, thank you. Thank you very much. The compliment is for the tie. It's not for you. But we take it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "And that's the job of clothes. To get compliments for us.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Because it's very hard to get compliments based on your human qualities. Right? Let's face it. No matter how nice you are, nobody is gonna say; 'Hey, nice person.' It's much easier to be a bastard and just try and match the colours up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Oh, look at this. Boy. Oh, I miss the days when they made toys that could kill a kid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "That is a Schwinn Sting-Ray. And it's the girls' model.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, it would be great for your paper route.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "The only way to really help her is to just let her be.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "So your baby daughter is gonna be Susan's second cousin, right? So, what does that make me? It doesn't make you anything.", "c": ["George", "Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Well, so, legally, I could marry your daughter.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Come on, I'm eating here.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "All right. I'll tell you what. You look like nice people. I'm gonna help you out. You want a beautiful name? Soda.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "All names sound strange the first time you hear them. Are you telling me people loved the name Blanche the first time they heard it?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "I solve problems. That's just what I do.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Oh, Jerry. You got no mustard. It's on the door. What, this yellow stuff? No, I said, mustard, Jerry. Dijon.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "That's bush league. No.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Yeah, you're right. I really should keep more of your favourites on hand.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "I was under the impression that I could take anything I wanted from your fridge. You take whatever from mine. Let me know when you get something in there, and I will.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Oh, I doubt you strained it. Maybe you pulled it. Maybe. Did you twist it? You could have twisted it? I don't know. Did you wrench it? Did you jam it? Maybe you squeezed it and turned it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "I would give that bike to the person who could make this pain go away.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Well, you're arterioles have constricted. Oh, yeah. A wise man once taught me the healing power of the body's natural pressure points. He sells T-shirts near the World Trade Center. He's a genius.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "What's even more amazing is his formal training is in paediatrics.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Well, that's the most he's worked in the last four months.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "I got a great name for our kids, a real original. You wanna hear what it is? Are you ready? Seven.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "What, you don't like the name? It's not a name. It's a number. I know. It's Mickey Mantle's number.", "c": ["George", "Susan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school. Seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and, eventually, seven years to life.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "How about Mug? Mug Costanza. That's original. Ketchup. Pretty name for a girl. How about Bisquick? Pimento? Gherkin? Sauce? Maxwell House?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "I'm not engaged.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Sort of a mooching inventory. No, not mooching. Because at the end of the week you add them. And you give me the bill.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "If we can't take each other at our word, all is lost.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Three days. Well, maybe you caught her on the cusp of a new wash cycle. You know, she did laundry the day after she met you. Everything got clean. She started all over again.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Why? It's our first date. She's already in reruns.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Einstein wore the exact same outfit every day. Well, if she splits the atom, I'll let it slide.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Mickey? Mickey....", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "I don't wanna get into the physics of it. But you know the sound a can makes when you open it? Yeah. That is the sound of you buying a whole can.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "When you pierce the skin of a piece of fruit, you've bought the whole fruit. Not a third of an apple. Not a half of a banana. You bite it, you bought it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Well my friend Jay Riemenschneider eats horse all the time. He gets it from his butcher.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "You are the last person I figured would do something like this. I mean, George, yeah, I can see that. Even Jerry. But not you, Elaine. I always put you up here. They're over here. Now you're all...", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Well, I don't know how original it's gonna be. Why not? Well, I was telling Carrie about our argument. And when l told them the name, they just loved it. They're naming their baby Seven.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Oh, it's got cachet, baby. It's got cachet up the ying-yang.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Hey, you're riding a girls' bike. Kramer. Kramer.", "c": ["Newman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "I don't know. I couldn't see. I couldn't look down because of my neck. Didn't you get a glimpse? An impression?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "What is he talking about? He's being ridiculous. Look, Jerry, you know the whole story. You should settle this.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Someone whose heart is so dark it cannot be swayed by pity, emotion or human compassion of any kind.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "As a federal employee, I believe the law is all we have. It's all that separates us from the savages who don't deserve the privilege of mail. Stuffing parcels in mailboxes, where they don't belong.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "What happened to Soda? I thought we all agreed on Soda. We don't care for Soda. You don't care for Soda? No, no. We don't like Soda at all. How do you not like Soda? It's bubbly. It's refreshing.", "c": ["George", "Ken", "Carrie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "What about Six? Nine? Thirteen? Thirteen is no good. Fourteen. Fourteen.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Is she wearing the same thing over and over again? Or does she have a closet full of these like Superman?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "You know, the thing is, I kind of promised the widow Mantle that I would name my baby Seven. Now's not the best time, George. So am l.", "c": ["George", "Ken"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "We will cut the bike down the middle and give half to each of you. What? This is your solution? To ruin the bike?", "c": ["Newman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Only the bike's true owner would rather give it away than see it come to harm. Kramer, the bike is yours.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Well, tell it to the judge, honey. I'm going for a ride.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "August 17th, 1992. The same dress. She never changes. Oh, my God. She's gotta have hundreds of these dresses.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "In the morning, we'll walk out together. Both dressed, different clothes. I'll be in the same clothes. You'll be in different clothes, as it's your place. We'll go down. Me in my same clothes, you in different clothes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Tell me what you're wearing tomorrow. I'll help you lay it out on the bed.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "I'm family. I'm having sex with the cousin. Seven! Seven!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Don't hang up on me. Why do you always wear the same dress? Hello?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "All right, Hobo Joe. I didn't wanna put a damper on your smorgasbord. But it's the end of the week, so I added up your tab.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Solid tires, reinforced seat post, heavy-duty shocks. But, baby, this is one sweet ride.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Elaine, Elaine. Help me. Help me. Help. Help. Help.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seven"}, {"t": "Old people in Florida, they drive slow... and they sit low. Right? That is their motto.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "The state flag of Florida should be like... a steering wheel with a hat and two knuckles on it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "And that left-turn signal on... from when they left the house that morning. Right? That's a legal turn in Florida. It's known as an eventual left.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "They just feel like; 'Well, I'm old, and I'm coming back. I survived. Let's see if you can.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "This is unbelievable... My God, you're rich.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "I just don't think I can talk to you anymore. I feel inferior.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "I was thinking of donating a large portion of it to charity. - Really? - No.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Who was Pippi Longstocking? - Pippi Longstocking? I don't know. Did she have anything to do with Hitler? - Hitler? Maybe.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "You're married to the eye guy. - Also ear, nose and throat. - Nose. What's the worst that could happen to a nose? What does it get, stuffed?", "c": ["George", "Katy", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "You'd be perfect for her. She loves quirky, funny guys. - Bald? - Loves bald.", "c": ["Katy", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Who is she? - Marisa Tomei. - The actress? - Yeah.", "c": ["George", "Katy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Marisa Tomei's sitting home, Elaine. Why didn't you tell me Katy was friends with Marisa?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "I'm a very good boy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Seems like a reasonable question. That's all I'm saying. I would have asked her.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Do you know the odds of me being anyone's type? I have never been anyone's type.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "She loves short, stocky, balding funnymen. - I notice you threw 'stocky' in. - Yeah, what the hell.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "If 50 years ago someone had fixed me up with Katharine Hepburn. Same thing. - Now there's a match, you and Katharine Hepburn.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Something you can really put the lipstick on. - Too bad you're engaged. - Yeah, too bad, too bad.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "This is no good.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Well, I guess the cable man doesn't like to be kept waiting. - Do you remember what they did to me 10 years ago?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Looks like the shoe is on the other foot, doesn't it? - I've never seen you like this. - You don't wanna get on my bad side.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Boy, she's beautiful, don't you think? I wish I looked like that. - Turn it off. You're making me jealous.", "c": ["Susan", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "The judge! I hate this guy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "It's just money. - So when are you getting back from Florida? - Oh, I don't know. I'll play it by ear. Why? - I don't know, just... Things seem a little more exciting when you're around.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "I'm loving this.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "She's in the hospital. She has an arrhythmia. - What about Marisa Tomei?", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Look, I got a few good years left. If I want a Chip Ahoy, I'm having it.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Why can't I buy my father a car? - Your father doesn't need a car. - Yes, I do. - Oh, Morty. - We're keeping it. - Over my dead body.", "c": ["Jerry", "Helen", "Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Well, this worked out just as I had hoped.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "My seat's got a memory, in case somebody moves it. I could be in prison for years. I come out, my seat goes back to where I like it.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Do I have to take a ride? - He doesn't wanna take a ride. - What do you think, I've never ridden in a Cadillac? Believe me, I have ridden in a Cadillac hundreds of times. - Thousands.", "c": ["Jack", "Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "It's like going steady, you know. Going steady, engaged. It's all just stuff you say.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Move a pinkie if it's yes. Can you move a pinkie?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Well, that's funny. Because as it happens... I don't have call waiting. Seems to me that the phone company would know that.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Hey, McNab! Chunnel's on HBO tonight! Why don't you stop by!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Morty Seinfeld has been stealing funds from the treasury. - Stealing? - What proof do you have? - Proof? You want proof? He's driving around in a brand-new Cadillac.", "c": ["Jack", "Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "We all saw his act last year at the playhouse. He's lucky he can pay his rent. - Jack's right. He stinks. - It's his material.", "c": ["Jack", "Resident", "Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "You could put a fence around these condos and call it an insane asylum. Nobody would know the difference.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Not because he thinks you stole the money... but mainly because you never thanked him... for giving you his aisle seat at Freddy Roman's show.", "c": ["Evelyn"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "We're losing all our friends.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Like she would ever go out with a short, stocky, bald man. Like that's her type. She's an Oscar winner. Besides, I don't even know her. It's not like anyone's trying to fix us up. Who would try and fix me up with Marisa Tomei?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Well, I do love you very much. - And I love you, Marisa. - Well, then. Come on, get dressed. We're going to be late for the premiere.", "c": ["George", "Marisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Stupid foldout. Why do they put the bar in the middle of the bed?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "I just got off the phone with Marisa Tomei. I just spoke to Marisa Tomei. And I wasn't even that nervous. I can't remember calling a woman without being nervous.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "I don't have a boyfriend. - She doesn't know that. We say that you do. - It's good. Believe me. - I thought my idea was just as good. - The dentist thing? - Yeah, right. The dentist thing. - The dentist thing was not good.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Just imports? No exports? - He's an importer-exporter. Okay? - So I'm dating Art Vandelay.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "They're a dime a dozen. - Oh, hi, Jerry. Mrs. Choate, this is my son, Jerry. - Give me that rye. - Stop it. - Help! Someone help! - Shut up, you old bag. - Thief! Stop him! Stop him, he's got my rye!", "c": ["Mrs. Choate", "Jerry", "Morty", "Helen"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "If I was having an affair with Elaine... I wouldn't tell you I'm seeing Elaine. I would make up another person to tell you I would see... and then I would go see Elaine.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "I'll get you! I'll get you, Kramer! You won't get away with this.", "c": ["Cable Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "'Manure' is not really that bad a word. I mean, it's 'newer,' which is good. And a 'ma' in front of it, which is also good. 'Manure.' It's really not that bad.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I thought that Art wanted to give up the exporting. - What did I say? - The importing. - I did? - So, what does he import? - Chips. - What kind of chips? - Potato. - Some corn. - And what does he export? - Diapers.", "c": ["Susan", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "Matches. Really long matches.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "It's him. It's your son. Now I know where I saw him. He stole my marble rye. - My son never stole anything. He's a good boy. - They should lock him up. Like father, like son.", "c": ["Mrs. Choate", "Morty"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "I don't know why we do it. I guess maybe we just kind of enjoy... taking advantage of people. But all that's gonna change. From now on, no more 9 to 12, no more 1 to 5. We'll kind of have appointments.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Cadillac (1)"}, {"t": "You get to a certain point with your parents where, really, the only thing you can do with them is eat. You can't talk anymore, but you wanna at least try and keep your mouths moving.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "My mother will argue with me about what I like. 'Can I have a piece of pumpkin pie?' 'You don't like pumpkin pie.' 'Yes, I do.' 'Since when?' 'What's the difference? Can I have it?' 'No. I have never seen you eat a piece of pumpkin pie.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "The Masai Bushmen wear these great sandals, and we're gonna knock 'em off. Not the Masai, the sandals.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Africa? Do you know how hot it gets there? Like, 150 degrees. Your skin is gonna be simmering with boils.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "They're low-flow, you know. Low-flow? Well, I don't like the sound of that.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "After the impeachment, my father left office in disgrace.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Uncle Leo's having regular sex? Yeah, I know, it devalues the whole thing.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "But it comes on 11:30. Yeah, well, they tape it in the afternoon, and then they air it at 11:30. How long they been doin' this? Thirty years.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "They have no friends. No social reason for them to be here. You're all grown-up. Yeah, they're through ruining my life. What the hell are they still doing here?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Any thought pops into their head, they're calling me because it's a local call now. I'm used to a 1200-mile buffer zone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "I told them medium rare. It's medium. I bet that cook is an anti-Semite.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "They don't just overcook a hamburger, Jerry.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Come on, Uncle Leo, I've seen the way women look at you. When's the last time you looked in the mirror? You're an Adonis. You've got beautiful features, lovely skin. You're in the prime of your life here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "It's your urine, Elaine. You've tested positive for opium. Opium? That's right, Elaine. White Lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally.", "c": ["Peterman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "The Dark Continent is no place for an addict, Elaine.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "I couldn't feel my extremities. What extremities?", "c": ["Newman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Well, you could pet them. They come right out of the water onto the sidewalks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "The word is 'care.' 'Care.' I care about your comfort. Be it here in Queens or 1200 miles away.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "If I don't have a good shower, I am not myself. I feel weak and ineffectual. I'm not Kramer.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "I'm not Newman.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "I feel like I got bugs crawling up my skin! Now, you gotta help me out. Not on my watch! I won't have you turning my office into a den of iniquity!", "c": ["Kramer", "Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "It was 1979. I was traveling the Yangtze in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. I had got to the market after sundown. All of the clothing traders had gone. But a different sort of trader still lurked about. 'Just a taste,' he said. That was all it took.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "This is your dressing room? They treat you like Toscanini.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm drunk.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Are you trying to keep us out of Del Boca Vista?!", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Poppies!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "My Uncle Leo, I had lunch with him the other day. He's one of these guys that anything goes wrong, he blames it on anti-Semitism. The spaghetti's not al dente? Cook, anti-Semite. Loses a bet on a horse? Secretariat, anti-Semitic.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Even the horse-- Even the animal. The High Holy Days in the temple? Rabbi, anti-Semite.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "My Uncle Leo broke up with his girlfriend because of my bit I did. She thought it was funny, so he accused her of being an anti-Semite.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Look, sister, go get yourself a cup of coffee, all right? Beat it.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Through a certain connection, I've been able to locate some black-market showerheads. They're all made in the former Yugoslavia. And from what I hear, the Serbs are fanatic about their showers.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Not from the footage I've seen.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "That's the Commando 450. I don't sell that one. No, that's what we want, is the Commando 450. No, believe me. That's only used in the circus for elephants.", "c": ["Newman", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "He couldn't handle that. He's delicate.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "No one tells Frank Costanza what to do! That's right! Who the hell are they?! How dare they?", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "We can visit together. I know. Every five years!", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court. And I dare you to keep me out!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Food tastes better. The air seems fresher. You'll have more energy and self-confidence than you ever dreamed of.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "My buffer zone just went from 1200 miles down to two feet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "You're killing independent Jerry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Look at you. You're disgusting. You're bald. You're paunchy. All kinds of sounds are emanating from your body 24 hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than 10 consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "But she's an anti-Semite. Can you blame her?", "c": ["Leo", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "I need a clean urine sample from a woman.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Jerry really doesn't wash these very well. Mrs. Seinfeld, choose a glass. Pick a glass, Mrs. Seinfeld.", "c": ["Helen", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "That's the Commando 450. I don't sell that one. That's only used in the circus for elephants. Just give it to us. He couldn't handle that. He's delicate.", "c": ["Newman", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Elaine, according to your urine analysis, you're menopausal. You have the metabolism of a 68-year-old woman.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, and one more thing: You may have osteoporosis.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "Why should they go to waste?!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "[Jerry being blasted by elephant showerhead with sound effects]", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "The Cadillac (2)"}, {"t": "You get to a point with your parents... where all you can do with them is eat. You can't talk anymore... but you wanna at least try and keep your mouths moving.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "My mother will argue with me about what I like. 'Can I have a piece of pumpkin pie?' 'You don't like pumpkin pie.' 'Yes, I do.' 'Since when?' 'What's the difference? Can I have it?' 'No. I have never seen you eat a piece of pumpkin pie.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "The Masai Bushmen wear these great sandals... and we're gonna knock them off. Not the Masai, the sandals.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Africa? Do you know how hot it gets there? Like 150 degrees. Your skin is gonna be simmering with boils.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Well, I don't like the sound of that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Uncle Leo's having regular sex? Yeah, I know, it devalues the whole thing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Helen, did you know that they tape this thing in the afternoon? How long they been doing this? Thirty years.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Yeah, that is odd, isn't it? I mean, they're retired. There's no economic reason for them to be here. They have no friends. No social reason for them to be here. You're all grown-up. Yeah, they're through ruining my life. What the hell are they still doing here?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Any thought pops into their head, they call me... because it's a local call now. I'm used to a 1200-mile buffer zone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Look at this. I told them medium rare. It's medium. I bet that cook is an anti-Semite.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "They don't just overcook a hamburger, Jerry. Fine. Anyway, the point I was making... before Goebbels made your hamburger here is this...", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "You've got beautiful features, lovely skin. You're in the prime of your life here. You should be swinging. If I were you, I'd tell this Lydia character; 'It's been real.' Move back into that bachelor pad and put out a sign; 'Open for business.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Do you realize how short the Kalahari Bushmen are? I'm gonna look like a giant to those guys.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "It appears you will not be accompanying me to Africa. What? Why not? I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. You've tested positive for opium. Opium? That's right, Elaine. White Lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally.", "c": ["Peterman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "The Dark Continent is no place for an addict, Elaine.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "I'll be ready in three minutes.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "What extremities? You know what the temperature in Florida is today? Seventy-nine. That's almost 80.", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Yeah, I read someplace, the life expectancy in Florida... is 81. And in Queens, 73. So, George, why are you here?", "c": ["Frank", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Well, you could pet them. They come right out of the water onto the sidewalks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Are you trying to get rid of us? 'Rid'? Ma, come on. The word is 'care.' 'Care.' I care about your comfort. Be it here in Queens... or 1200 miles away.", "c": ["Estelle", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "If I don't have a good shower, I am not myself. I feel weak and ineffectual. I'm not Kramer.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "This is awful. I'm not Newman.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Not on my watch! I won't have you turning my office into a den of iniquity! Get your fix somewhere else! Go on, beat it!", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "It was 1979. I was traveling the Yangtze... in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. 'Just a taste,' he said. That was all it took.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "This is your dressing room? They treat you like Toscanini.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Are you telling me there's not one condo available in Del Boca Vista? That's right. They went like hotcakes. How'd you get yours? Got lucky. Are you trying to keep us out of Del Boca Vista?", "c": ["Frank", "Morty", "Estelle"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Poppies!", "c": ["Jerry's mother Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "My Uncle Leo, I had lunch with him the other day. He's one of these guys that anything goes wrong... he blames anti-Semitism. The spaghetti's not al dente? Cook, anti-Semite. Loses a bet on a horse? Secretariat, anti-Semitic. Even the horse-- Even the animal.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "The High Holy Days in the temple? Rabbi, anti-Semite.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Listen to this. My Uncle Leo broke up with his girlfriend because of my bit. She thought it was funny, so he accused her of being an anti-Semite.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath. No good? It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms... having sex all around me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Jerry, that was super-heated water. Nothing could live in that.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "I have a private matter to discuss with my fellow tenants. If you don't mind.... Look, sister, go get yourself... a cup of coffee, all right? Beat it.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Through a certain connection... I've been able to locate some black-market showerheads. They're all made in the former Yugoslavia. And from what I hear, the Serbs are fanatic about their showers.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Not from the footage I've seen.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "So you're moving there for spite. Absolutely. No one tells Frank Costanza what to do! That's right! Who the hell are they? How dare they?", "c": ["George", "Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "We can visit together. Every five years!", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court... and I dare you to keep me out!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "You have no idea how your life is gonna improve as a result of this. Food tastes better. The air seems fresher. You'll have more energy... and self-confidence than you ever dreamed of.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "My buffer zone just went from 1200 miles down to two feet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "You know what you're doing, don't you? You're killing independent Jerry.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Look at you. You're disgusting. You're bald. You're paunchy. All kinds of sounds are emanating from your body 24 hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than 10 seconds... you should hang on to her like grim death. Which is not far off, by the way.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "But she's an anti-Semite. Can you blame her?", "c": ["Uncle Leo", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Wait. What are you gonna do in there? What am I gonna do in the bathroom? You gotta do me a favour. Hold on a second, Mrs. Seinfeld. I need your sample.", "c": ["Elaine", "Helen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "This one is kind of scratched. Jerry really doesn't... wash these very well. A milk glass, a juice glass. Any glass, just pick a glass. Pick a glass, Mrs. Seinfeld.", "c": ["Helen", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "That's the Commando 450. I don't sell that one. No, that's what we want, the Commando 450. No, believe me. That's only used in the circus for elephants.", "c": ["Newman", "Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Low-flow? I don't like the sound of that.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Elaine, according to your urine analysis, you're menopausal. You have the metabolism of a 68-year-old woman. Oh, and one more thing. You may have osteoporosis.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "The Shower Head"}, {"t": "I was with Marie-Antoinette in a dream last night, and she was on the guillotine, the blade came down, her head fell in the basket, it rolled over, and she started singing Neil Diamond's Solitary Man.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "And I thought, 'That is not my alarm going off. This is actually happening.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "It's June! It's June! Hey! It's June! It's June, June, June, June! It's June. Ha-ha! It's June! June! Ju-uuu-une! Hey, it's June!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "It's like a stay of execution. Dead man walkin'.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Well, one out of 20,000. That's not bad.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "See, that means 'from Vinci.' Did you know that?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Must be some book.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Which means if I live to be 80, I will have lived the equivalent of 105 years.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I got a lot of things in the hopper.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I didn't know you had one. / Oh, I got a hopper. A big hopper.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Poor bastard.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Could you repeat that? / Why don't you handle all the copyediting? / I'm... I'm sorry. What? / Copyediting. / Uh, never mind. / Elaine, you do it.", "c": ["Bob", "Peterman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "How embarrassing this must be for you. You just bought your own dinner.", "c": ["Friars Club Host"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Ha-ho! Funny. Isn't he funny? Funny guy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "No, the stupidest thing you ever said was when Steve Kroft from 60 Minutes is the same guy from Seals & Croft.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I'm percolating, Jerry. I'm telling you, I have never felt so fertile. I'm mossy, Jerry. My brain is mossy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "A restaurant that serves only peanut butter and jelly. What do you call it? PB and J's. What do you think?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I think you need more sleep.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Why? What time is it? / It's 4:00. / Four in the morning? / Yeah. / What's wrong with you? / I'm bored.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Every time Mr. Peterman tries to assign him any work, he says he can't hear. And it all gets dumped on me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I... I'm sorry. What? / I'm kind of swamped. / Thank you.", "c": ["Bob", "Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Somehow I thought he'd be taller.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Hey, Bob. Bob? Hey, Bobby, over here. Bob? Oh, Bob? Bob?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I snuck up behind him at the urinal and tried to see if he could hear me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Well...he flinched...sort of. / What do you mean, sort of? What did he do? / Well, he kind of moved his head, you know? But it might have been on the zip-up, I don't know.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "We could be like the Gatsbys. Didn't they always have, like, a bunch of people around, and they were all best friends? / That doesn't sound right.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Somehow I dozed off and woke up in a pile of garbage. / Somehow?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I want you so bad, Bob. You turn me on so much. You're so damn sexy. Ooh. I'm starting to unbutton. Anything getting through?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I feel like Lincoln. / Well, let's hope this evening turns out a little better.", "c": ["Jerry", "Hallie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Well, this is, uh, risky business, huh? I'm all atwitter.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Cosmo, wake up. Cosmo? Oh, my God. He's dead! He's dead.", "c": ["Connie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Yeah, Tommy, this is Connie. You gotta help me. Some guy dropped dead on top of me. I can't call the cops 'cause Joey might find out.", "c": ["Connie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Nyea.", "c": ["Flying Sandos Brother"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Broke a shoelace today. / Oh, I can get you shoelaces tomorrow. / Okay. / So, what color? / Brown. Maybe a black. / More coffee? / No, check...please.", "c": ["George", "Hallie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Hey! Sha! Mama! No! Help!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I heard every word you said. And I know you wouldn't be just having fun with his handicap. Ooh, that kind of cruelty would be grounds for dismissal.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Frankly, I didn't think she was too concerned about my jacket.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "You don't try and de-sour. You have to sweeten too. / I'll try. / I'll try and de-sour and sweeten.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I wanna get it back to when we were the Gatsbys. / I still don't know what that means.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "But I woke up in the Hudson River in a sack!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "She doesn't want anybody else to have me!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Oh, you go into a department store, you put a suit on, and you walk right out. What are you, some sort of an idiot?", "c": ["Pat Cooper"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Well, one of the Gypsies took it. / Oh, the Gypsies took it. Of course, New York has a lot of Gypsies. Ooh, on every block, there's a Gypsy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Pat Cooper"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Are you an entertainer? Are you in show business? / No, I... / Then what am I talking to you for?", "c": ["Pat Cooper", "Random Person"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I think this crest is different. It's got a moose on it. / Moose? / Yeah. / I don't think this is the jacket.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Great. Now she's sour. / Maybe she'll sweeten. / She won't sweeten. And I'm bitter!", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "What, sleeping with the fishes? I guess I woke up.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "Attempted murder? Of who? / This guy, Kramer. / Whoa. Cosmo Kramer? / Yeah, that's right. / I don't want nothing to do with it.", "c": ["Connie", "Lawyer", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "The Doll"}, {"t": "I was thinking about the wig historically. I guess The Revolutionary War was the last war fought in wigs...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "They're going into battle; 'Well, do I have my bullets? Do I have my bobby pins?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "'What if I get killed? Is my wig on straight?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "I know when it went out; When the mirror was invented.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "No guy is looking in a mirror... powdering a thatch of horsehair on his head, going; 'All right, let's go rap to the ladies.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Then they'll match my sneakers.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "So he knew you were making it up? Yeah, he caught me. So here's what I want you to do...", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "But you were. But if you go back with me, then I'm not.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Well, Bob Sacamano, he stayed with me once for a year and a half.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Who is he? He's a wig master.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Boy, imagine liking wigs to the point it becomes a career choice.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "You get this cool T-shirt when you sign up. Oh, I'm down.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Remember me? I said I'd come back with someone, and I did. Surprised?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "No, I believed you.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Those fanciful narratives really take me away.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "You know what? I write those. No.", "c": ["Elaine", "Craig"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Well, I love it. You what? I think it's great. I think you should get it.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Perhaps you could do the same.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "You weren't supposed to say that. But I really did like it. That's not the point.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "What about that guy asking you out right in front of me? What is the big deal?", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "It was very emasculating. He doesn't know the nature of our relationship. You're there approving new clothes. That's a girlfriend job.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "How dare he? He dared.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "I already asked him that. He said, 'Good. Good day.'", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Thank God you're home. I'm locked out.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "I didn't tell you to park there. Now someone's gotta drive you every time you need your car? Take the bus. I'm not gonna take the bus. That's why I got a car.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Forget it. I'm gonna get George to pick me up. He won't take you. Got it, got it. Hello? Can you take me over to Jiffy Park? Yeah, I'll pick you up right now.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Would you pick a station! I like them all.", "c": ["Susan", "Charmaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Oh, great. Now the volume knob fell off.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "What's this? Oh, God. What? It's a c... It's a condom!", "c": ["George", "Susan", "Charmaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Except for Jerry.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "But I barely know you. Well, we'll just have to do something about that, won't we?", "c": ["Elaine", "Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Hey, Greg. It's Craig.", "c": ["Jerry", "Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, we went way out and wild.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "How do you know she's not my wife?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Hey, look, you walk in this city, things are gonna stick to your foot. You open your car and... condom.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Kramer... but we can't get your car now. The keys have been misplaced.", "c": ["Parking attendant"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Take that pink Cadillac Eldorado over there. It's a Mary Kay car.", "c": ["Parking attendant"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Something funny going on here.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Well, what about the ponytail? What about it? Come on. Ponytail? Get real.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "this guy's gonna dangle that dress in front of you... like a dirt farmer dangles a carrot in front of a mule.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Like a shark fisherman with chum.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Like a shrimp farmer... Okay.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Behold, the Technicolor Dreamcoat.", "c": ["Bob Sacamano"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "They stink.", "c": ["Prostitute"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Turning tricks?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "You have change for 20? Fifteen? Well....", "c": ["George", "Prostitute"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "George? Hi, honey.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Even a tiny doubt, a dot of a doubt... Because if there's any doubt at all, I feel that we should cultivate it. Cultivate it?", "c": ["George", "Susan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "But you said it was in the store. No, no, no. We sold out. We've had to order some more. But I thought Nicole Miller was ma... Well...", "c": ["Elaine", "Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "So you getting him a discount too? Well, why so surprised?", "c": ["Elaine", "Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take that jacket back. I'm putting this guy right out of commission.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Turn in? Yeah, I had a tough day. It's only 9:00. Yeah, well, you know, I don't argue with the body, Jerry. That's an argument you can't win.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Hey, look, you know, you're the one who's locked out. I'm letting you stay here. You're wearing my bathrobe. You should adapt to me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Well, can I sleep with you?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Why? Do I really have to explain why?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "So I am positive you are wrong about Craig. Yeah, why? Because he told a man he'd give him a discount too. A man, Jerry.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Well, perhaps he thinks that you're working him for the discount. What do I mean? Well, perhaps he thinks that you're working him for the discount. Shaking that little butt of yours into big, big savings.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "The cornerstones of a healthy relationship.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "This patio furniture's on sale.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Ideally.", "c": ["Parking attendant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "For spite.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "I don't think you can return an item for spite.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Well, you already said spite, so.... But I changed my mind. No, you said spite. Too late.", "c": ["Manager", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Nice hat. Get a calendar, honey. It's the '90s.", "c": ["Jerry", "Store employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Ever thought of selling it? It would make a brilliant wig.", "c": ["Charmaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "There's your champagne coolie. Well, looks like it's just you and me, cowboy.", "c": ["Server", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Well, the funniest thing. I've learned that the new shipment's coming by boat... which does tend to take a bit longer, what with the waves and all.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Yeah, I guess you could say that. Right in front of me? How do you know we're not together?", "c": ["Jesse", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Well, it's very emasculating.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Nicole Millers? We aren't expecting any Nicole Millers. In fact, we have too many as it is.", "c": ["Bob from store"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Hey, you just cost me some money. Hey, cool it, lady. Cool it. Cool it, lady. Cool it.", "c": ["Prostitute", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Okay, big daddy, take the hat off.", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "All right, turn to your right. I said turn, pimp!", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "I'm not a pimp.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Friars Club"}, {"t": "Have you noticed that every place has that tip jar on the counter?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "What is the service that this tip is for, anyway? I mean, isn't the man basically just turning around?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "I think we're tipping people now just for the absence of outright hostility", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Thanks very much, and here's something extra... for not taking my head... and smashing my face through the glass countertop. Really good service here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Are you out of your mind? You'd suffocate in there. You're lucky to have doors. When I was in the Army...", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Big Stein wants a little taste. Come on. Pass it down. That's a good boy.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Big Stein wants an eggplant calzone. He must have one. Everybody out. Hurry up, hurry up.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "He bet me that Dustin Hoffman was in Star Wars.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Short Jewish guy against Darth Vader? I don't think so.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Hey, Elaine, you gotta feel my pants.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "I'll see you later. - All right. You don't know what you're missing.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Bold and beautiful.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "The pita pocket prevents it from dripping.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "If people can't hold onto things, tough luck.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Who did you bet was in Star Wars? Sammy Davis Jr.?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Two tickets. Means to an End. - Told you.", "c": ["Nicki", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "They're really building a Utopian society up there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "I'm like a drug dealer. I got the guy hooked.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "So then, as I'm leaving, he gives me a look like 'Thanks for nothing.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "So you don't make a habit of giving to the blind?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Not bills.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "She's like a beautiful Godzilla. And I'm thousands of fleeing Japanese.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "I need quarters for the dryer. - Why can't you do this on your table? - Because I don't have a table.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "He's found a dating loophole.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "That's just because you're a jackass.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Crazy like a man.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "So you and I are kind of like countrymen. Paisanos.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, you steal my money? - No, you don't understand. I wasn't taking it out.", "c": ["Antonio", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "From 1973 to 1982, I ate the exact same lunch every day. Turkey chilli in a bowl made out of bread.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "You eat the chilli, then you eat the bowl. Nothing more satisfying than looking down after lunch and seeing just a table.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Was this whole bet thing just a way of asking me out? - What? - I mean, Dustin Hoffman in Star Wars?", "c": ["Elaine", "Todd"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Must have been when I slowed down to take that curve... because for a while there, I was doing well over 100.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Officer. Hi. Do you really have to give us a ticket? - All right, Nick. Let's hit it.", "c": ["Nicki", "Officer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "I didn't have enough quarters for the dryer... but this is better and more convenient. - Oh, for both of us.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "I could have got a house in Peru for 300 bucks.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "That's a nice name, Todd Gack. What is that, Dutch?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "He fires people like it's a bodily function.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "No, I never had a job.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Kramer's cooking up some corduroy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "You hang out on the west side of the building with Seinfeld all day... just laughing it up, wasting your lives.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "And three times a week, I shall require a cannoli.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "I mean, unless I'm your sister, this is a date.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "You don't work in the rain? You're a mailman. Neither rain nor sleet nor... It's the first one!", "c": ["George", "Newman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "I was never that big on creeds.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "This is all burned up. Look at this. What the hell do I know about cooking a shirt?", "c": ["Antonio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "You can't pay with this. - That's all I got. - Then you got no calzones.", "c": ["Antonio", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "Your clothes smell just like Paisano's.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "That smell. I know that smell. He's in the building. Costanza is in the building. And he's not in this office.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "It's like trying to smoke a chicken bone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "What kind of a name is Todd Gack anyway? - I think it's Dutch.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "We'll put all the uniforms in pizza ovens before the game. That's fantastic. Keep those muscles loosey-goosey.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "I smell a pennant!", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "The Wig Master"}, {"t": "I love when the car place puts that paper mat on the floor. Like they're so obsessed with cleanliness. They don't even want their shoes to touch the carpet. The mechanic comes out, he looks like Al Jolson. He's covered in goo from head to toe. You can't even see him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "I prefer that to when they have the lab coat, the clipboard, the glasses. Now you know you're getting screwed. 'Can I see it?' 'You better not. It's idling quietly right now. I think it should stay overnight. We want to keep an eye on it, and want to keep the bill running up.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Tell the players that I reimbursed the trainer... for the cigarettes and shakes. -The players will be reimbursed? -The trainer.", "c": ["Steinbrenner", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "This is the third time I've had to repeat myself. -Sorry. -Sorry doesn't cut it. We're running a ball club here, George. You've got to pay attention.", "c": ["Steinbrenner", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Let me-- Let me think here.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "The Peace Corps gave me my start in this business. Clothing the naked natives of Bangtubesh. The Pygmy pullover.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "To me, they capture that indefinable romance that was Camelot. -Whatever.", "c": ["Peterman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "So he walks out of the stall. He's been talking the whole time. -He pulled an LBJ on you. -LBJ? Lyndon Johnson used to do that to his staffers.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "He'd hold national security meetings in there. He planned the Hanoi bombing after a bad Thai meal.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Ask him to repeat it. Tell him there was an echo. -I can't. He's been on me about not paying attention. It's too late. I already told him I heard him.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Oh, the steering wheel fell off. I don't know where it is.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not paying the 5 cents for that stupid recycling thing. -You don't pay 5 cents. You get 5 cents back.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Well, what do you think the hobos are doing? -I don't know. They're deranged.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, you mean you get 5 cents here and 10 cents there? You could round up bottles and run them to Michigan.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "You overload your inventory, and you blow your margins on gasoline.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "You tried it? -Oh, yeah. Every which way. Couldn't crunch the numbers. It drove me crazy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Sue Ellen Mischke, the braless, Oh Henry! candy bar heiress.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Come to catch a glimpse of high society? -No, no, I'm actually here to bid, Sue Ellen. I mean, that is if anything's to my liking. -I'm here to catch a glimpse of high society.", "c": ["Sue Ellen", "Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "No, an 18-wheeler's no good. Too much overhead. You got permits, weigh stations, tolls. Look, you're way out of your league.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "...as seen in the famous photo of the president chipping at Burning Tree on the morning of the Bay of Pigs Invasion.", "c": ["Auctioneer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Ten thousand to the shapely woman on the left.", "c": ["Auctioneer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Oh, you idiots!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "The AAA guy said I was close to sucking a muffin down the carburettor.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "I remember this car. Beautiful car.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Have I been picking at it? No, you know, it's just wear and tear. -Wear and tear, I see.", "c": ["Jerry", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Fifty-one percent of all turns are right turns.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Certainly not some stuck-up candy-bar heiress who flaunts herself in public without regard--", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "So I was just wondering... what do you think would be the very best way to get started?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Payroll!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "He'll tell you what I'm doing here. Then you can tell me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Look, you were right, I was wrong. You don't have to humiliate me about it.", "c": ["Lafarge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Wait a second. Mother's Day.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "The mother of all mail days.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Newman, you magnificent bastard, you did it!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "There's your answer, 'Downtown.' The song 'Downtown'? The Petula Clark song?", "c": ["Wilhelm", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Little places to go that never close. What little place never closes? -7-Eleven. -Maybe.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Well, don't hang around and let your troubles surround you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Motor oil is the lifeblood of a car. You put in a low-grade oil, you can damage vital engine parts.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "The washer fluid is not fine!", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't count on my mechanic pulling a Mary Beth Whitehead, did I?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "The mechanic forms an emotional attachment... thinks he's gonna lose the car. He panics and does something rash.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "What does it matter? It's my car. I can do whatever I want with it. Not that I would think of doing such things.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Jimmy crack corn and I don't care.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "The gardener did a nice job planting the rose bushes, didn't he, dear? -You planted the rose bushes, dear. -I did? -Yesterday. You remember. -That's right.", "c": ["Steinbrenner's father", "Steinbrenner's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "9999 bottles and cans in the truck... At $0.10 a bottle and $0.10 a can We're pulling in $500 a man", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "That registration may have your name on it, Jerry... but this engine's running on my sweat and my blood.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "We're right on this guy like stink on a monkey.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Bottles below!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "My brother-in-law was there. Man was obsessed with lactating women. They cured him. Although he eats a lot of cheese.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "I didn't do it! It just got done! I don't know how it got done but it did!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "I just have one rule. Keep your hands off my daughter.", "c": ["Farmer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "You'll have to do a lot better than that!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "No, Daddy, you'll hurt him. I love him. Goodbye, Norman! Goodbye!", "c": ["Susie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. The only thing worse was his slice.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "The Calzone"}, {"t": "The concept of being separated is strange. It's like you're engaged to be divorced.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "We think actually some sort of giant rubber band might be the solution.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Then the kid finds out his parents are breaking up... thinks it's because they got caught fooling around, which is probably true.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "You look like Brenda Starr. -Is that good? -Better than Dondi.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "I've always thought David was kind of sponge-worthy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "I've been waiting out their marriage for three years. Me too. Well, I've been waiting out two or three marriages... but this is the one I really had my eye on.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "That's mine. -You have a car? -My friend lent it to me for the week. -She's out of town. -I've never seen you drive. -Me neither.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "A physician married to a salesman. I gotta tell you, Beth, you could have done a lot better than him.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Hey, I got the body of a taut, preteen Swedish boy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Don't think I won't, Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "How about a left turn signal, you moron!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "You know what, on my first road test, I hit a dog. I think it was a golden retriever. No, no, no, it was a yellow lab.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "It's like when a tenant dies in a rent-controlled building. You gotta take immediate action.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Their grieving time is a luxury I can't afford.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Calling, calling, calling. -Why are we calling? Why do we call?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "we slowly remove the two words 'for you'... and we're just there.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "I mean, I was just being folksy. They could tell I was being folksy? -Yeah, I thought you were being folksy. -Totally folksy.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Kramer, they're painted on. -Well, they're the slim fit. -Slim fit? -Yeah, they're streamlined. You're walking like Frankenstein.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "I can't get my pants off. Mickey's audition is in 20 minutes. I'm supposed to be a businessman. I gotta be in costume.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "You're gonna need the Jaws of Life to get out of those things.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Well, actually, it had a lot to do with George's comment. -Is that right? -I thought maybe I could do better.", "c": ["Beth", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "where he asks questions to himself aloud... and then answers them. Am I happy Beth left me? Of course not. Can I hope to pick up the pieces and move on? Absolutely.", "c": ["Beth", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Well, David, the thing about George is that... he's an idiot.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "If it hadn't been for that secretary of yours.... I said, sit down. Are you deaf, Bradley? I said, sit down.", "c": ["Mickey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Sit down, you big, stupid ape!", "c": ["Mickey"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Did I have a great time with David Lukner last night? I sure did. Do I think there's a future here? I don't see why not.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "All right, don't make me get physical here!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Articulate? Me? I've never articulated anything. I'm completely incoherent.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "What the hell are you doing over there? Mind your own business. Now, stay out of my affairs! Jerry, Jerry, that is so sweet of you... but actually, I already ate.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "What is it about the chocolate and the mint... that makes it go so well together?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "My father left us when I was 9... so I guess that's why I have such a fear of abandonment. -Wow, that's so touching. -Yes, it is.", "c": ["Jerry", "Beth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, fianc\u00e9e? Boy, you could've done a lot better than him.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "It's Frankenstein! It's Frankenstein!", "c": ["Joey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "He says, 'Boy, you could do a lot better than this guy.' He said the exact same thing that I said to him... just to get back at me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Do you appreciate this? You see the irony of this? You see what's going on here? What's the matter? I'm nauseous. That what's hurting your appreciation?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "Joey, there you are. Hey, Joey! It's a monster! I'm the babysitter.", "c": ["Kramer", "Joey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "I've decided to go with the chicken.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "What are you, deaf? I said, sit down. Hey, for the last time, sit down. -Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Police Officer", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (1)"}, {"t": "If wedding invitations were left up to men... we'd just drive around sticking fliers in windshields.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Not even typed up either. Just magic markers, xeroxed, you know: 'Party.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "What's needed is a divorce announcement. 'Mr. and Mrs. Fred Johnson request the honour of your presence... at the returning of their daughter back to Mr. and Mrs. Fred Johnson.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "What's the difference? You just read it and mail it right back.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "It takes a lot of moisture to make them stick. So we pick up some Elmer's.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "No, Susan. No, no, it's Lilly. I think I know my own name. It's Susan. Well, you look like a Lilly.", "c": ["Kramer", "Susan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Can I do this? I can't do this. Look at me. Look at me, I can't do this. I can't do it. Help me, Jerry, help me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "I'd rather be unhappy for the rest of my life than to go through that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "I disappear in a sea of people for, like, six months, a year.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "It's easier to blend into a sea of people in Staten Island than China.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Freedom and no clothes is a lot better than no freedom with clothes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "And what, hope for a crash? It happens. Do you know the odds on a crash? It's a million to one. It's something. It's hope.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "You don't ask. You tell.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Start smoking. Does she hate cigarettes? Yes, she hates cigarettes. But you don't smoke. No.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "So it's just gonna be me and Kramer? Yeah, just you and Kramer. Me and Kramer.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "A periscope in a car, so you can see traffic. How are you gonna drive while you're looking through a periscope? Besides which, it's not a submarine.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "It's stupid! Stupid. It's stupid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Shouldn't there be some kind of reward for that? Otherwise you could die, if that bothers you.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jeannie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "The shirt under your sweater. It sits in a drawer for three weeks... and when it finally comes out, it only sticks up out of your collar.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Same initials. How do you like that? I like it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "He doesn't even know my name. That was an honest mistake. No, he's too weird. He'd fall or something. He'd ruin the whole ceremony.", "c": ["Susan", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "I've always smoked. I've never seen you smoke. Oh, yeah, well, big smoker.", "c": ["George", "Susan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "A bowl of Cheerios, not too much milk. Okay, two bowls of Cheerios. You too? Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jeannie", "Waitress"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Now I know what I've been looking for all these years. Myself. I've been waiting for me to come along. And now I've swept myself off my feet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Will you stop it, man? You're freaking me out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Well, 'hey' is 'hello.' Same thing. The ad said the bank will pay $100 if you're not greeted with a 'hello.' You're taking that much too literally.", "c": ["Kramer", "Bank Teller"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Now I'm gonna be stuck at the singles' table with all the losers? You can go with Kramer. No, no, no. Weddings are a great place to meet chicks. I have to be unfettered.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Ask her to sign a prenup. Because most women, when asked to sign a prenup... are so offended, they back out of the marriage.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "What's so funny? You don't have any money. I make more money than you do. Yeah, give me the papers, I'll sign them.", "c": ["Susan", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "'Hey' is the same as 'hello.' What do you think? Yeah, I think it's the same thing. Oh, big surprise.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jeannie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, these are so cheap. Don't forget tomorrow. We're shopping for rings... so don't make any plans. And this time we're not skimping.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "I don't like her! I don't like her. I never liked her from the get-go. Everything she thinks, you think. Everything you think, she thinks. No, I can't take it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "If you can't take her, maybe you can't take me. So that's how it's gonna be? That's how it's gonna be. Oh, God help us!", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, but that's not 'hello.' That's a tough one. Let me bring some other people in on this.", "c": ["Bank Manager"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Well, we've discussed this. Here's the feeling. You got a greeting. It starts with an H. How's 20 bucks sound?", "c": ["Bank Manager"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "September 21st, first day of autumn. Leaves changing, beautiful colours. All that crap.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, what's the deal with decaf? How do they get the caffeine out of there? And then where does it go?", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "If it's a combination of breakfast and lunch... how come there's no 'lupper,' or no 'linner'?", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "I can't be with someone like me. I hate myself! I need to be with someone the complete opposite of me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "She expired. Are you sure? Yes, of course. So... she's dead? Yes.", "c": ["Doctor", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "We found traces... of a certain toxic adhesive... commonly found in very low-priced envelopes. Well, she was sending out our wedding invitations. That's probably what did it.", "c": ["Doctor", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 9.12, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "We were expecting about 200 people.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.85, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Poor Lilly. Susan. Susan.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "We had a pact! Well, let's get some coffee.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "I'm the short, funny, quirky bald man you met a little while ago. Yeah, I was just calling because I wanted you to know... that I'm not engaged anymore. Well, she died.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 9.1, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Well, we were expecting about 200 people. Yeah. Anyway, I've got the funeral tomorrow... but my weekend is pretty wide open...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 9.53, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Bottle Deposit (2)"}, {"t": "Boy, that was awkward. I don't mind the cemetery. In fact, now I see why people like golf. It's just nice to be outside in a well-landscaped area.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Her death takes place in the shadow of new life. She's not really dead if we find a way to remember her. / What is that? / Star Trek II. Wrath of Khan.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "They wrap him up in a towel and they shoot him out the bowels of the ship in that big sunglasses case.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "I have mourned for three long months, summer months too. Anybody could grieve in January.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Karate is not here: It's here: And here:", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "I think you're wrong. We just went to the fireworks the other day. / That was July 4th.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "When I get back I don't wanna see you here: Here or here:", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Anything you couldn't have gotten tearing open a bag of Doritos and watching Viva Zapata?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "All of a sudden we both just blurted out: I hate you. / I hate you. / See you. / See you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "It was the first truly mutual breakup in relationship history. No rejection, no guilt, no remorse.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "You've never felt remorse. / I know. I feel bad about that.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "I like to call it the 'urban sombrero.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "I wanna bite into a big hunk of cheese, just bite into it like it's an apple.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "It's Dolores. / Who? / Mulva.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "I've shown I can go all the way. / All the way? / Not our all the way. Their all the way.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "I got the stink of responsibility on me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "My mind is as barren as the surface of the moon.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "You most likely know it as Myanmar. But it will always be Burma to me.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "You there, on the motorbike, sell me one of your melons.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Isn't it Myanmar now? / Jerry, he wants me to run the catalogue.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Is that the discount pharmacy?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "My legs, they were like noodles. Then I looked inside, and I found my katra.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Sammy Davis had it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Pair of pants, stupid story, a huge markup. I can do that.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Kramer, you're fighting children?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "You don't need karate. You can just wring his neck.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Now, I want four new ideas from each of you by 6:00. No, make that six ideas by 4:00.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "He said to us, 'She's not really dead if her shadow is--' / What was it, dear? / Something about a way, wasn't it? And a light and a-- / Who the hell knows.", "c": ["Mr. Ross", "Mrs. Ross"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "That's the line that destroyed my life.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "I was living the dream. Stripped to the waist, eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Don't you see? I'm back in.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "They had more than some monies. Many, many monies.", "c": ["Wyck"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "This can't be easy. / You know, it really can't.", "c": ["Wyck", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Everybody knows there's no such thing as a mutual breakup.", "c": ["Dolores/Mulva"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "You, Jerry, are the doofus.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "No, no, no, that's from Star Trek III. / The Search for Spock. / Search for Spock?", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Jerry will tell you that the Wrath of Khan is the better picture, but for me, I-- / You doofus.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "She had a little change of plans. / What's going on? / Hey, Timmy, Clara. That was some kind of workout we had tonight, huh? Now we finish it.", "c": ["Joey", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Mama!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "What is that? / The urban sombrero. I put it on the cover. / Well, nobody sees the cover.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "What is that? / It's the new cover of the J. Peterman catalogue. It is Elaine's choice. Let's congratulate her.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Widower? Wait a second.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "Your widower story has tested through the roof.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "There's two really cute girls sitting at the counter eating grilled cheese. Cheese, George. Cheese.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "What do you say we go through this doll by doll.", "c": ["Wyck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "The next thing I know, my ass is out on the street.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "I never thought a hat would destroy my life.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The Foundation"}, {"t": "I can now bite my fingernails so evenly...I don't even need to use a clipper anymore.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Why gnaw away like a mental patient when we have this elegant device?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "You know what's really a weapon, that big toenail. You let that grow for a month, take it in the shower, it's like a shiv.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I love prison. It is fascinating. Yeah, maybe someday.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I like Flavman.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Jerry, a throat clear is a non-verbal implication of doubt. He thinks I killed Susan.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Oh, help me, Rhonda.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "For once, I'd like to be gaga.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "What's with all these people having babies? - Perpetuation of the species. - Yeah, right.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "But because it comes out of your baby, it smells good.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "The city's a toilet.", "c": ["Carol/Gail/Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Elaine was telling me about this whitefish she had the other day.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Jerry Lewis trick - leaving briefcase with tape recorder to hear what people say", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Books. Careful.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I'm in trouble, buddy. I just met a woman...she's Jerry's girlfriend.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Jerry wouldn't know delicate if it bludgeoned him over the head.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "One perfect angel for whom we are put on this earth...One winsome tulip we ceaselessly yearn for", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I thought we were talking about me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I saw a show on the mollusk last night. The mollusk travels from Alaska to Chile just for a shot at another mollusk.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Yes, I think I am better than the mollusk.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Oh, it's been done to death.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Why? Why Susan? Why wasn't it me licking those invitations?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Briefcase.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Jerry has one of those every time he bombs on stage...I'm sure he'll be sharing his next one with Pam.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Oh, no, that won't last. He's not gaga.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Did anyone notice George's fingernails? Oh, my, yes, they look like they were eaten away by weevils.", "c": ["Foundation members"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Dear God!", "c": ["Foundation member"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Well, if it doesn't concern me, then I can stay.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "She can bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Pam. Pam? Pam!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Although, I might replace her tortoise clip with one of those velvet scrunchies. I love those.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I hear three distinct sounds: A low rumple...followed by a metallic squink...followed by a mysterious galonk.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Have you considered just asking them what happened to the briefcase?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "A barren, sterile existence that ends when you die?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Elaine, I once told a woman that I coined the phrase 'Pardon my French.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I once told a woman I don't eat cake because it goes right to my thighs.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Once told a woman I enjoy spending time with my family.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Your looks and my words will have built the perfect beast.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "There really is no junk mail. Everybody wants a check or birthday card...It requires just as much manpower to deliver as their precious cards", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Her bouquet cleaved his hardened shell and fondled his muscled heart", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "It's by an unknown 20th century poet...Oh, what's him name? Newman.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I got a vasectomy this morning.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "A velvet scrunchie.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "You really think you can manipulate that beautiful young woman like the half-soused, nightclub rabble that lap up your inane 'observations'?", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Like last summer, I'm watching TV and I saw one of those jet skis. Four thousand dollars later, and it's sitting in my garage.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I flattened my hair and I had all these strands hanging in my face all the time.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I think the M&M should be you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "This thing is like an onion. The more layers you peel, the more it stinks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I think I have a little crush on him.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Why can't I be a soul mate?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Children? Who said anything about children? I don't wanna have children.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "A low rumple...a metallic squink...a galonk...and someone crying out, 'Dear God!'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "All right then. We've gotten to the bottom of that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "What are you guys doing here? We're getting vasectomies.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry/Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Kevin's having his vasectomy reversed.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "Does anyone think George might have murdered Susan? Oh, yeah, I just assumed he murdered her. Of course he killed her. So it's not just me then.", "c": ["Foundation members", "George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Soul Mate"}, {"t": "I gotta go zoo. I feel like I could set more of my own schedule.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "In the circus, you get to ride on the train, see the whole planet. I'm wearing a little hat. I'm jumping through fire. Putting their little alien heads in my mouth.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "But in the zoo, you know, they might put a woman in there with me... to, you know, get me to mate.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "What if she's got no interest in you? Then I'm pretty much where I am right now. Just got to take a ride on a spaceship.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Exquisite marble, high ceilings and a flush like a jet engine", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "He knows.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Oh, God... this tuna tastes like an old sponge.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "I might like to try that. Like you and Jerry.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "You know what happens with these? The rollers, they get flat spots on them.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "I put her stats on the back.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Serious boyfriend, '92 to '95. Owns her own car. Favorite president, James Polk.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Why would anybody want a friend?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "He said he'd go to the Museum of Miniatures. This is something you would never, ever do. I mean, all that stuff is so small.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Stupid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Women like that are like members of a secret tribe living in a forbidden city. People like me have not been inside in thousands of years.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "My hand's been stamped. I come and go as I please.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Well, you've cracked it. I warned the queen you were getting close and... now it looks like we're gonna have to move the whole damn forbidden city.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Well, if you must know, she was my fianc\u00e9e, Susan. May she rest in peace.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "You don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "She had man-hands.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "It's like a creature out of Greek mythology. I mean, she was like part woman, part horrible beast.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Would she have hooks?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Kind of cool-looking.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "If you need an extra set of hands, I know who you can call.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "How long have I been asleep? What year is it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "How much are they paying you? No, no, no. I don't want any pay. I'm doing this just for me.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "TCB. You know, taking care of business.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "What do you got in there? Crackers.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "I don't know, but you don't have it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "So he's Bizarro Jerry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Up is down, down is up. He says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Shouldn't he say 'badbye'? Isn't that the opposite of goodbye?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Is he black?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "If I don't get them done by 9, I'm toast.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Some of us have to work in the morning. Thanks.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "You know who used to love Paris? My dead fianc\u00e9e, Susan.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "It's not a twist-off.", "c": ["Gillian"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "No, no, no. You're missing it. It's higher.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Didn't come true.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Bizarro World.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Then it does exist.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Flame on!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "You know, I'm the one who's actually dating the woman in the picture.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "But I was engaged to her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Well, I gotta say, I think that that is a fantastic idea, Feldman.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "I don't know. It's not practical.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "What are you gonna do down there? Read.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm dating George 'The Animal' Steele.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll chain her to the refrigerator and sell tickets.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "It's your third day.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Books, Jerry.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "I can't spend the rest of my life coming into this stinking apartment every 10 minutes to pore over the excruciating minutiae of every single daily event.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Why not? Like, yesterday, I went to the bank to make a deposit and the teller gives me this look--", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "The whole system is breaking down.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "I wish I could, but we're friends.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "There's a beach towel on the rack.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Which, by the way, was for two.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "We've already got a George.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "But I don't even really work here. That's what makes this so difficult.", "c": ["Kramer", "Leland"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "What'd you do? Cut this out of a magazine or something? That's me. It's from a Clinique ad I did.", "c": ["Model", "Model"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Hello, Vargas.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "It's locked.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "I guess the DJ booth was over there behind the bone saw?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "I called the phone company and immediately reported the error.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Me so happy. Me want to cry.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Bizarro Jerry"}, {"t": "Because it's the most dangerous part of the sidewalk. Cab hops a curb: whack! You've had your last egg sandwich.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Set of plastic hips, prosthetic legs, a monkey to answer the phone, I'm back in business.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "I'd much rather take one in the head, like I did in '79.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "I don't really remember.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "You know, revulsion has now become a valid form of attraction.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Well, then, you're driving me wild.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Oh, I drive my people hard, and then I reward them. Like with dogs. Yeah, exactly.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Isn't that what Jack Ruby said?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Where do you come out of?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "You want me to get it started? I'll get it started. All right. Woo!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Sweet, fancy Moses.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but because of different reasons altogether.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "It was more like a full-body dry heave set to music.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Did she do the little kicks and the thumbs?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "It was one of those problems I hoped would just go away. Well, sometimes you can't help these people till they hit rock bottom. And by then you've lost interest.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Not a very long trip.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "He's like a virus. He attaches himself to a healthy host company, and the next thing you know, the entire staff is infected.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "It was a real kick.", "c": ["Anna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "He's a bad seed, he's a horrible seed. He's one of the worst seeds I've ever seen.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "I'm the bad boy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "You've been the bad employee, the bad son, the bad friend. The bad fianc\u00e9, the bad dinner guest, the bad credit risk. The bad date, the bad sport, the bad citizen. The bad tipper.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "That's quite a feedbag you're working on there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "He's a joke maker. I'm a joke maker.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "He's making a copy of the movie for sale on the street.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "George is in the bloodstream.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Man, we're missing the deathblow!", "c": ["Brody"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Is that your orthopedic back pillow? Maybe. Well, is it, or isn't it? I guess not.", "c": ["Anna", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Get in the car. You heard me, young lady. Get in the car. And you! You should know better. I don't want you infecting my staff.", "c": ["Mr. Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "If he hadn't licked his fingers before reaching in the bag, we would have eaten some. Serves him right.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "People with guns don't understand. That's why they get guns. Too many misunderstandings.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "The zoom-ins, the framing, I was enchanted.", "c": ["Brody"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "It's an arty movie and quite frankly, they don't have the sensibility.", "c": ["Brody"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "We're talking feature films here. We're talking federal crime here.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "It looks like something a short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man might wear. He's not stocky.", "c": ["Anna", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "No. Bread is his soul. He's trying to buy back a loaf of his soul.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "The little kid who needs bootlegs because his parent or guardian won't let him see the excessive violence and strong sexual content you and I take for granted.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa. Please stop. This...thing. It's dancing. No, no. That ain't dancing, sally. I dance fine. You stink.", "c": ["Peterman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "All right! You're beyond stink!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Uh-- Uh, please, please. Not in my home.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "I mean, you're a fine seed. Pick up the phone, Elaine. Pick it up! You are ruining everything.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "I'm a bad man!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Just shoot the damn thing so I can get it out on the street! All right, that's it. I can't work like this. I'm off the project!", "c": ["Brody", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "The whole business has changed. It's all about money now. The sad thing is, it's the kids that suffer.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "I'm a bootlegger! Isn't that illegal? I could do hard time for this one. And community service.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Yeah, so you cry, and then when you see the dancing, you cry again.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "I could drop you like a bag of dirt. You want a piece of me? You got it!", "c": ["Frank Costanza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "But he's an old man, Elaine. Well, he wrote the check, and I cashed it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "You were big. I'm still big. It's the bootlegs that got small.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "The Little Kicks"}, {"t": "Boy, I really miss the Bermuda Triangle. Guess there's not much action there these days.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "It's that damn alien autopsy stealing the headlines.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "See, what they gotta do is lose a plane or a Greenpeace boat. See, that would get the Triangle going again.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Lucky Krauts.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Difficult?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "I have to tell you, I remember that appointment exactly. You see, this nurse had asked me to put a gown on... but it was a mole on my shoulder... and actually I had specifically worn a tank top... so that I wouldn't have to put a gown on. You know, they're made of paper.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "But it was in pen.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "You fake erased.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "I traded it to Lomez for some steaks.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "All you gotta do is... You gotta jiggle it with this screwdriver.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "She's got this incredible smile, like she's got too many teeth. Extra teeth. I love that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "I hope you got that mustard stain out of your shirt.", "c": ["Sheila"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "They've gotten to know you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Because you dress casual and sleep with a lot of guys?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Listen, you little sh...", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Why would you do that? Never done it before. Why start? Why not?", "c": ["Jerry", "Newman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "The ego on you. Why can't I be bomb-able?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "An airline for all the stupid little peanut jokes?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "You don't have a Mercedes. Just leaned on it... so it'd look like mine.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Is that Burt Reynolds? Wax Museum.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "It's the timeless art of seduction.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "He wants it. He's just trying to be funny.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "I'm in my personnel file all the time. I've kept the same job over two years. It's not luck.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Yeah. I sent one to everyone I know.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "You remember my Christmas card? Oh, right. The nipple.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "I liked the picture so much I cropped out the nipple. I'm using it for my health-club ID.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Well, I hope it's contagious then.", "c": ["Receptionist"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna treat my uncle like a bomb-defusing robot.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "The explosion singed off his eyebrows, moustache, everything. He's all smooth now. Looks like a seal.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "So we're gonna make the post office pay for my new stereo now? It's a write-off for them.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "You don't even know what a write-off is. Do you? No, I don't. But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "I wish I had the last 20 seconds of my life back.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "There's no Zorn or Zutroff? They're on vacation.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "No, no. You're stout. The camera loves stoutness.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Come on, George. That's it. Come on. Give it to me. Come on. Work it. Work it. Oh, yeah. Hold it. Hold it. Yeah, be a man. Be a man. Lover boy. You are a lover boy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "You're not my nurse. He has good days and bad.", "c": ["Elaine", "Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Leo, I don't care for your demeanour. Now you're just being difficult.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Define 'rarely.' Frequently.", "c": ["Jerry", "Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm quite comfortable.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Uncle Leo?", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "It's Benes, you jackass. My last name is Benes.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "I'm Dr. Van Nostrund from the clinic. She's a patient of mine. I don't think she's gonna make it. It's very bad. Very, very messy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "From the Hoffermandorf Neo Clinic... in Belgium. The Netherlands?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "The dance continues.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Looks like you're breaking into it like an otter cracks open a clam.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "How I've longed for this moment, Seinfeld. The day I would have the proof I needed... to haul you out of your cushy lair... and expose you to the light of justice as the monster that you are. A monster so vile...", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "This photo clearly indicates your involvement... in some ill-conceived mail-order pornography ring.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "He said the key word was 'tasteful.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "The timeless art of seduction.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "The Package"}, {"t": "Well, I like Gabe Kaplan.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "It's not a valet, it's a prot\u00e9g\u00e9.", "c": ["Abby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "What makes them think you're a risk-management expert? I guess it's on my r\u00e9sum\u00e9.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Books on tape have ruined me, Jerry. I need that nice voice. This book has my voice. I hate my voice.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Am I going? It was three nights ago.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Give me a break.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Hey, Copernicus.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I am so sorry, but I'm afraid we're gonna have to... promote you.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Well, it can't be any worse than the pointless drivel we normally churn out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I'm not Jewish. Well, neither am I. Well, why are you going? I'm not. I'm running it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Abby", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Lomez is Jewish? Oh, yeah, yeah. Orthodox, Jerry. Old school.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "At the Knights of Columbus?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Do you like tsimmes?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I'm not really a duck fan. The skin seems sort of human.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Kenny Bania.", "c": ["Cynthia"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Bania?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "The best, Jerry.", "c": ["Bania"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Tell me about it. These things have ruined me for Braille.", "c": ["Blind man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I take an eye test, I flunk it. The next thing you know... I am swinging to the sweet sounds of risk management.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Marsala? Piccata.", "c": ["Jerry", "Abby"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "If anything, I should be dating a mentor... and Bania should be setting pins at a bowling alley.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "What are you, in an athletic sweat suit?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "You're right. That's a lot of pupiks.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Cook? No. I don't know any cooks. I don't know anything about cooking!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Shell-shocked? Oh, yeah. But that has nothing to do with it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife... the only friend who hasn't betrayed you. The only friend who won't be dead by sun-up. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted chambray nightshirts.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Well, if he's doing that bad, maybe he's in line for another promotion.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I'll give him another office on another floor, and he can sit there... with his nice title and his bayonet... and stop freaking me out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "You're a very handsome man, by the way.", "c": ["Eye Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "What the hell is going on here?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Look out!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I got brisket going at Newman's, I got kugel working at Mrs. Zanfino's... and this is kreplach.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Eat, eat, you're skin and bones.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "The recipe was for four to six people. I had to multiply it for 183 people. I guess I got confused.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "It tastes like dirt. Well, I also dropped it on the way over.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I can't peel, I can't chop, I can't grate, I can't mince. I got no sense of flavor, obviously.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I think there's a dead animal in the elevator. My stuffed cabbage.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Have you seen his act? He's got a 12-minute bit about Ovaltine.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "He's a pug, a patsy, a hack.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Cynthia would not date a hack. Would. Does. Is.", "c": ["Abby", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "As far as I'm concerned, you and your deranged prot\u00e9g\u00e9... can run the catalog by yourselves. I quit!", "c": ["Coworker"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "This guy sounds just like me. This is horrible. Stop it. Stop it. Shut up!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "In my mind, there's a war still going on.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I was the best cook Uncle Sam ever saw. Slinging hash for the fighting 103rd.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I went too far. I overseasoned it.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I can still hear the retching and screaming.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I sent 16 of my own men to the latrines that night. They were just boys.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "All that kid wanted to do was go home. Well, he went home, all right. With a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.83, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "They had to sit him on a cork for the 18-hour flight home.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "It's like getting beaten with a bag of oranges.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "He just thinks that anything that dissolves in milk is funny.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "It's tough keeping your feet dry... when you're kicking in a skull.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Like 'strolling through a dewy meadow.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "It's dry. That's the way I always make it. Well, it sucks.", "c": ["Estelle", "Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Your meatloaf is mushy, your salmon croquettes are oily... and your eggplant parmigiana is a disgrace to this house!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I'm back, baby!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Maybe I am a complete hack. I'm the absolute worst. The worst, Jerry.", "c": ["Bania"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "You got that Bosco bit, then you got your Nestl\u00e9's Quik bit. By the time you get to Ovaltine--", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round, the jar is round. They should call it Roundtine.", "c": ["Jerry (reading)"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "That's gold, Jerry. Gold.", "c": ["Bania"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Let's just replace 'hail of shrapnel' and 'scar tissue'... with 'string of pearls' and 'raspberry scones.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "About what? How to calculate 5 percent of a restaurant check?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "I don't think I wanna date a prot\u00e9g\u00e9 whose mentor is a Costanza.", "c": ["Abby"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "What's with the fatigues and all the psychotic imagery, huh? I don't wanna talk about it. Come on. Don't be a baby.", "c": ["Elaine", "Eddie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Well, it's tough meeting somebody you like... let alone somebody Jewish.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "That risk-management stuff you wrote for me is killer. It's gold, Jerry. Gold.", "c": ["Bania"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "You know, you could take a break. No breaks. I feel reborn. I'm like a phoenix rising from Arizona.", "c": ["Kramer", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "No! No! Don't eat it. It's no good. No good. No good. No way.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Why do they call it Ovaltine? They should call it Roundtine. You know what I'm talking about.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "He's my prot\u00e9g\u00e9.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "The Fatigues"}, {"t": "Medication for the well.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "What is this, a bit? No. Because I'm not in the mood.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "If you call that living.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Brett not responding during 'Desperado'", "c": ["Brett", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "And you're still dating him?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "I'll tell you who sounds a little desperado.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "That had to be invented?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "The man doesn't want a history lesson.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "In his dreams.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "You're doing it too fast. You'll disorient the customers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "I find it disorienting. Who buys an umbrella anyway? You can get 'em for free in the coffee shop in the metal cans.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Those belong to people.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Each one is for, like, 12 cents. It's barely worth the pain in my hand to sign them.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "You're on that list.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "So? For a $25 cleaning, I can listen to some pointless blather. I do it. I'm not even getting the cleaning.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "That's the funny face that greets you at the beginning of The Super Terrific Happy Hour.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Everybody laughs at Jerry here in America.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "You forgot to sign your check.", "c": ["Carpet cleaner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Life can be so confusing. I-I'm... I'm searching for answers anywhere.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Super-terrific carpal tunnel syndrome.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "I don't write skits.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Of course you don't. You don't have a proper workstation.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Giddyup.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "You're a cowboy now.", "c": ["Japanese salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Shh! ... Elaine, the song.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "So you're angry that this bizarre carpet cabal made no attempt to abduct you?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Please. Too dumb?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "See, here, you're just another apple. But in Japan, you're an exotic fruit... like an orange, which is rare there.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "You went out with my butler? Who said you could go out with my butler?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "No. That's what makes it such a humorous situation.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "You've been living in America too long. You've forgotten what it's like to have no oranges.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "What does he listen to, the all 'Desperado' station?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "I like 'Witchy Woman.' ... Oh. Witch-eh Woman.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "You have them sleeping in drawers?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "This has international incident written all over it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "East meets West, Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "No. It's mine.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "But where were you during the poncho craze of '84? I almost lost my house.", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Two hundred dollars. ... Special price for a real foul-weather friend.", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "What kind of a snobby, stuck-up cult is this?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "It's not the money. It's my hand. It's crippled from writing and writing.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Boogeyman. Boogey? I'm quite sure.", "c": ["Brett", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "You think she liked me?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Come on in, fat boy!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Pull harder. I'm trying. I can't get a grip. My hand's had kind of a bad week.", "c": ["Mr. Tanaka", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Not the Farbman!", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Him, you brainwashed? What's he got that I don't have?!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "My name is Tanya.", "c": ["Mr. Wilhelm"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "I didn't mean to hit you in the head with... an axe.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Doctor, I think we're losing him. ... She got the moon in her eye", "c": ["Elaine", "Brett"], "jt": ["misdirection", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "The Checks"}, {"t": "Why is there no haggling in this country? We like to think we've progressed beyond a knife fight for a drink.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "All starches are a scam. Yeah, especially ziti, with that big hole.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "How much is this? A dollar nineteen. I'll give you a quarter.", "c": ["Kramer", "Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Tell him 40 and no fork. Thirty. That's it. You leave and never come back.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "Vendor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "How about we leave and come back in a week? Deal. All right. See? We got something there.", "c": ["Kramer", "Vendor", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Rogers can't sell chicken around here. We got chicken places on every block. He is The Gambler.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Hey. Jerry? Seth. Wow, what has it been, like, five years? At least.", "c": ["Seth", "Jerry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Hey, whatever happened to Moochy? He's dead.", "c": ["Seth", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Still don't know how you can call lunch with me a business expense. What do you think of the catalog? Stinks. There, we just talked business.", "c": ["Elaine", "Roger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "So how's your standup career? Good. As a matter of fact, I almost had my own show in Japan. You speak Japanese? No.", "c": ["Seth", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "So you would have done it in Japan, but in English? I don't know.", "c": ["Seth", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "The meeting you blew off? Yeah. Wasn't that kind of important? Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "Seth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "You use a water pick? Sure. Water pick, floss, Plax, brush, Listerine. So you go into the bathroom 11, you're in bed by what, 2?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Well, isn't the president allowed to do anything that they want? No.", "c": ["Elaine", "Roger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "This hat just bottles in the heat. I don't even need a coat. It's unbelievable.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "She got a little Marisa Tomei thing going on. Too bad you've got a little George Costanza thing going on.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "I'm like a commercial jingle. First, it's a little irritating. You hear it a few times. You hum it in the shower. By the third date, it's 'By Mennen.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "If there's any doubt, I do a leave-behind. Keys, gloves, scarf. I go back to her place to pick it up, date number two.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "That is so old. Why don't you just show up at her house in a wooden horse?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "By Mennen", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "What the...?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Can't you shut the shades? They are shut.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "By the way, your friend Seth, he stopped by. Yeah? What'd he have to say? He was fired.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Seth, if you knew the meeting was so important, why did you go to lunch? We're old college buddies. I only knew you through Moochy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Seth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "How's life on the red planet?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "All I can see is that giant red sun in the shape of a chicken.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Getting some cereal. That's tomato juice.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "That looked like milk to me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Jerry, my rods and cones are all screwed up.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "My concern is that living together after a while we might start to get on each other's nerves a little.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Jerry, these are loadbearing walls. They're not gonna come down.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Like we did in the '60s. Taking it to the streets.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Those aren't my keys. Well, they're not mine. They are my keys. How weird.", "c": ["Heather", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Costanza", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Dial nine, Merlin.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "You didn't leave a hat here. I'm pretty sure I left it behind the cushion of the chair, accidentally.", "c": ["Heather", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Not fast food. Good food quickly.", "c": ["Seth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Stay away from the chicken! It's bad! Bad chicken! Mess you up!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "That's not going to be good for business. That's not gonna be good for anybody.", "c": ["Seth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "I feel like it's gonna come to life in the middle of the night and kill me. What, Mr. Marbles? He's harmless.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "A man could really get some thinking done.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "As soon as Seth gets a real job, you two are going back in that chicken supernova.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "What is that, hickory? Yeah. It's the wood that makes it good. Really? Stop it. What's the matter with you?", "c": ["Newman", "Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Whether you're aware of it or not, George had this pathetic little plan to leave something behind so he could try and weasel a second date.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "She's bluffing. She's got it stashed away in there somewhere. This is an absolute disaster. Oh, I don't know. Check this out.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "You stole her clock?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Well done. Yep. This is one for our side.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "You should sleep with him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "He sells Russian hats down at Battery Park, 40 bucks. Forty bucks? Are they sable? No, but the difference is negligible.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "This is nutria. Well, that's a... It's a kind of sable. No, it's a kind of rat.", "c": ["Roger", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "That's a rat hat? And a poorly made one, even by rat hat standards.", "c": ["Elaine", "Roger"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Can I fire you? No.", "c": ["Elaine", "Roger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "The message said, 'Call me if you have the time.' If I have the time? You got it?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Well, there is the possibility that you've gone right out of your mind. I've looked at that. It seems unlikely.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Ever since he moved into that apartment he's too much like you. That's a shame.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce. I love broccoli. It's good for you. Really? Then maybe you'd like to have a piece. Gladly.", "c": ["Jerry", "Newman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Vile weed!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "You got a little problem. Oh, I got a big problem, Jerry!", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "You speak Burmese? No, Elaine, that was gibberish.", "c": ["Elaine", "Peterman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Are you an assassin? I work for your mail order catalog.", "c": ["Peterman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "You're an errand girl sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "The first time we went out, I found you very irritating. But after seeing you a couple of times, you sort of got stuck in my head. Costanza", "c": ["Heather", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Damn salami. My clock. You stole it? That damn delicatessen. That is the last time they screw up one of my orders.", "c": ["George", "Heather"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Kenny?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "This is the urban sombrero. I put it on the last catalogue cover. The horror.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "The Chicken Roaster"}, {"t": "Who are you gonna eat to survive? -Kramer. -So fast? What about me? -No.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Kramer's so stringy. I'm plump, juicy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Kramer's got more muscle, higher protein content. It's better for you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "If other people are having some, I'll try you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "With me, or in general?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "So how long is this not gonna be a problem for me?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "I'm like a sexual camel.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "No, it's not debunk. It's totally bunk. -Isn't bunk bad? Like, 'that's a lot of bunk'? -No, something is bunk, then you debunk it.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "I've heard of Ohio, Katie", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "And you were integral.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "I'm getting bumped? You're bumping me from Career Day?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Then I'm not really attracted you.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "You got bumped from Career Day?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number when you buy batteries?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "You can make all the laws you want. He's still gonna bother people.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Like fire in a school is such a big deal.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Before you know it, Letterman won't return your calls.", "c": ["Katie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "I just remembered where I left my retainer in second grade.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Just because a person's a smoker doesn't mean he's not a human being. -It doesn't?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "These people aren't gonna let themselves be flicked into the ashbin of society. -Why not?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Dead bodies really gross me out.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Rick is a periodontist. He does Giuliani's gums.", "c": ["Sue Ellen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Can't you at least tell them what to do? -Like what? -Shouldn't he elevate his legs? -Right. Elevate your legs.", "c": ["Elaine", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "I call him doctor.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "You know, they come in once, it's like they're addicted.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "They cancelled Rick James. -'Super Freak'? -Yes.", "c": ["Katie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, you are. We'll just stop having sex.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Are you the guy who put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?", "c": ["Yankees player"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "In six games.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Nine minutes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "And give you the chance to see some real disappointed kids.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Portuguese? Yeah, my cleaning lady is Portuguese. I must have picked it up.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "I stopped having sex with Ben three days ago and I don't know no Portuguese.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "To a woman, sex is like the garbage man.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing's getting through. You're stupid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "It looks like an old catcher's mitt.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "You've experienced a lifetime of smoking in 72 hours.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Emphysema, birth defects, cancer, but not this.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Everything I have I owe to this face. It's my allure, my twinkle.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "'Winnie-the-' blank. -Pooh. -Poo.", "c": ["Ben", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Perhaps I can better serve the world this way.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "You mean, not subjecting women to your sexual advances?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "There was a pretty good chance I was never gonna have sex again anyway.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "I wrote a 20-minute bit about how homework stinks.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Oh, my vacation was restful, resplendent, magnificent. In fact, next time I'm planning on going to Corfu.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Your face is my case.", "c": ["Jackie Chiles"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "You could read the paper through the whole thing, if you want.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Is Kramer home?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "I used to share that very same outlook, but now I have so many things to occupy my mind. For instance, the atom.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "In fact, I feel Mr. Kramer projects a rugged masculinity.", "c": ["Tobacco lawyer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "By the time this case gets to trial, he'll be nothing more than a shrunken head.", "c": ["Jackie Chiles"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "I always knew that after I became a doctor I would dump whoever I was with and find someone better. That's the dream of becoming a doctor.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "I calculated my odds of ever getting together with a Portuguese waitress. Mathematically, I had to do it, Jerry.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Hey, kids, what's the deal with homework? You're not working on your home.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "A long time ago, my uncle and a date are driving, like, through Mexico. They see one on the road. Drags him out of the car and chews his face off.", "c": ["TV executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "The Abstinence"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what? It says \"no food or drink.\" You can't take that in. -Just wait here. I'll be right out. -Wait a second. Come on.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "You know what? They don't have batteries here. Let's go.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 3.92, "im": 3.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Hey, Georgie's moving out. -Get out. -I'm out.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "So it's a two-bedroom-one-bath-make-your-friends-hate-you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Well, they like to call it a setup now. I guess the blind people don't like being associated with all those losers.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "I need some more stuff to fill that extra bedroom with a walk-in closet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Well, it's coughing, Jerry. It expels the diseased germs out of the body into the air.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I rented out half that space to Newman.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Mailbags? He's storing mail in here?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Hey, I love the floors in here. It's like a gymnasium. -Try and guard me. Come on.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Yes, but you see, Mr. Eldridge is an Andrea Doria survivor.", "c": ["Mrs. Ricardi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "That was quite a fire. -Shipwreck.", "c": ["George", "Mrs. Ricardi"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "\"Cancer in laboratory animals.\"", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.78, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "He said he's sorry, but he won't be able to make it tonight. He's been stabbed.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Stabbed? More bread?", "c": ["Elaine", "Waiter"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "I mean, to be stabworthy, you know? It's kind of a compliment.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Yeah, too bad he didn't get shot. He could have been the one.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "There is now.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Plus they botched my vasectomy. -They botched it? -I'm even more potent now.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Andrea Doria? Is that the one they did the song about? Edmund Fitzgerald. I love Edmund Fitzgerald's voice.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "No, Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship. You could fit 15 people in that bathroom.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat. Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Fifty-one people? That's it? I thought it was like a thousand. There were 1,660 survivors. That's no tragedy. How many people you lose on a normal cruise, 30, 40?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "The air is so dewy sweet, you don't even have to lick the stamps.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "I'm still collecting checks, I'm just not delivering mail.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "And yet it's perfectly legal to take a man's soul and crush it out like a stale Pall Mall.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "I love shrimp. I'm a shrimp eater. You put shrimp in front of me, and I'll eat it till my stomach pops.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Was that the one? Was that the one who stabbed you? No, that was a different girl.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "He says mean things you don't mean, but he means them.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "To me, that's an important part of a relationship. What's more important?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "They gotta cure a lizard, a chicken, a pig, a frog, all on the same day.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "You're gonna take dog medicine? You bet we are. How smart is that?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "I tell you, I hear people really stuff themselves on those cruise ships. The buffet, that's the real ordeal, huh, Clarence?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Well, all vacations have to end eventually.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "It eased into the water like an old man into a nice warm bath. No offense.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "The Stockholm may not have sunk you, but I will.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Been drinking from the toilet? What? No. That's disgusting.", "c": ["Vet", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "You got a big head. It's too big for your body.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "That's it? That's the best you got?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "If this board is impressed with suffering, maybe you should tell them the astonishing tales of Costanza.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "I could go bummer-to-bummer with anyone on the planet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "There's no way I can handle eight in addition to my usual load of one.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "You moving away is my dream too.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Where I sleep, where I come to play with my toys.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "It's almost a compliment. It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "\"For Smuckers\"? \"May cause panting and loss of fur\"?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Come on, you wanna go for a ride, huh? Come on. Come on. Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Lady, could you move your head a little bit? Your head. I can't see out the back.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "This isn't the way to the park. Where are we going? I recognize this block. You're taking me to the doctor.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "I didn't take the subway to New York to sit at a table like that!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey, get back over here. Kramer. Get over here. You are bad. Bad neighbor.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "We had an argument about me moving to Hawaii and he locked on to my ankle like it was a soup bone.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "I was handcuffed to the bed in my underwear where I remained for...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Though she was attractive, she was also, in fact, a Nazi.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "and when I dropped the towel there had been significant shrinkage.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "So there I was with the marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Oh, also, my fianc\u00e9e died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. Thanks again.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Just crease, crumple, cram. You'll do fine.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Too many people got their mail. Close to 80 percent. Nobody from the post office has ever cracked the 50-percent barrier. It's like the three-minute mile.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "You're a disgrace to the uniform.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "He flew right into your head like he couldn't avoid it. Really? Never seen that before, bird into a woman's head.", "c": ["Stranger"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "The one that sits atop my disproportionately puny body. I'm a walking candy apple.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Or jam a fork into his forehead. Either way.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Goes well with the bump in your nose.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Please, get help. There's a crazy, bigheaded woman beating some guy. Tell the police it's the Old Mill Restaurant. Hurry.", "c": ["Restaurant patron"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Trouble at the Old Mill? Oh, my God. Good boy. Good boy. Lead the way. Come on.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Just gave the super 50 bucks.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "Tough luck, chinless.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Andrea Doria"}, {"t": "The longer you know someone, the shorter you wait for them?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Early. All right.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "It's the only way you'll learn.", "c": ["Marcelino"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Boy, this chicken should be ashamed of himself.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Well, first, I'm brushing my teeth and this piece of apple skin...that must have been lodged in there for days...comes loose. Fantastic.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "When you feel guilty. No, occasionally I forget to let the machine pick up.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "maybe take in a shower fight.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "I noticed you chose the clowns-with-balloon check design.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "These are sweatshop eggs.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "I'm a honey.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Is he from the future?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "These are historic remains of a once-great society of hair.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Some moron bounced a clown check.", "c": ["Kurt"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Even I am not above the policy.", "c": ["Marcelino"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "This prison stinks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Well, let's just say it wouldn't exist without me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "That is so cool.", "c": ["Celia"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "You wouldn't date that girl from Queens because you didn't want to go over the bridge.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Plus, I know where she is all the time. I have relatively no competition.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "No pop-in, no 'In the neighborhood.' No, 'I saw your light was on.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Don't jinx it. Don't.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Well, not here.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "I sense something is afoot.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "What are you? An idiot?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "It's so thick and lustrous. I mean, it was.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Are you saying that I could be dating this hair? I mean, with you under it?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Little Jerry Seinfeld.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Well, that would explain Little Jerry's poor egg production.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Of course you will.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "He never even called Ed Roydlick. They were looking for someone.", "c": ["Helen Seinfeld"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "I swear to God, if you send me $50, you are gonna be so sorry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "I love this relationship. I feel so liberated.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "That's like using a wheelchair for the fun of it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "It's chestnut with auburn highlights.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "You know, you're not around women. You don't know how important a man's hair is.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Does he bounce checks?", "c": ["Marcelino"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "I'm going bald.", "c": ["Kurt"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Parole? That's dynamite.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Well, I thought they wore gloves and helmets. You know, like American Gladiators.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "He was pecking and weaving and bobbing and talking trash.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "In other words, a normal relationship.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "I think for me...sick is the only way to go.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "It's from yesterday.", "c": ["Kurt"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "That is outrageous.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "But Little Jerry was born to cockfight.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Now, just because Jerry Seinfeld is a has-been...don't make Little Jerry Seinfeld a never-was.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "You hate him...because he's doing more with your name than you ever will!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Very smart, very crafty.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Yeah, they're hatching something. You can count on that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Jerry Seinfeld, big or little...doesn't go down for anyone, anywhere, at any time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Once the enemy advances beyond this perimeter...then you won't be Kurt anymore.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Live, damn it. Live every precious moment as if this was the last year of your life...because in many ways...it is.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "And you just decided to pop in?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, the break out pop-in.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Fugitive sex. It's like every time--", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Jerry, it's 3:30 in the morning. I'm at a cockfight. What am I clinging to?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "That looks like a dog with a glove on his head.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "We know you're bald. We know it's you.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "I'm not that bald.", "c": ["Kurt"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Well, my lawyer says 14 months, but with good behavior maybe 10.", "c": ["Kurt"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Little Jerry"}, {"t": "Hey, George... the ocean called. They're running out of shrimp.", "c": ["Reilly", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. That's what I should have said.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Damn it!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Really? That's great. You said that to him? / Well, actually, I thought it up on the way over here.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "A can of balls for the nice guy.", "c": ["Milos"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "You don't plan to hit these balls with that racket, do you?", "c": ["Milos"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Vincent is an art-house goon. / Gene? Oh, he's so stupid and mainstream.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "That makes me the premiere.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "I, Cosmo Kramer... hereby want Jerry Seinfeld to remove my life support... feeding machine, lung blower, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Jackie Chiles, he put a restraining order on me. I'm not allowed within 200 feet of his office. I couldn't even give him his Christmas present.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, I put all your Z's on the weights-and-measures page.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Who is this? / It's Vincent. / Of Vincent's picks? / The same.", "c": ["Elaine", "Vincent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Your screening process is getting ever more rigorous.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "George used up all my guest passes already.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "He could have played just as well with a log.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Kramer wants to die with dignity. / There's a feather in your cap.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be a vegetable, Elaine. I just want out.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Your cranium called. It's got some space to rent.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Hey, Reilly, the zoo called. You're due back by 6.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Look, just tell him you had sex with his wife. That'll get him.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "This is why I hate writing with a large group. Everybody has their own opinions, and it all gets homogenized... and you lose the whole edge of it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "It's still got spring in the strings.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Trust me, Kramer, given the legal opportunity, I will kill you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "You're a calculating, cold-hearted business woman. When there's dirty work to be done, you don't mind stomping on throats.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Yank it like you're starting a mower.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "You have liver, kidneys and gallbladder... but no central nervous system. / Well, I gotta have a central nervous system.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "I'd stick. / Yeah, yeah, stick, because I could still go to the coffee shop.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Believe me, it is Milos' great shame... but, Jerry, I could lose my business if anybody find out.", "c": ["Milos"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Game, set and match, huh, Milos?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "An old woman experiences pain and yearning. / A hundred and ninety-two minutes?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "That's a lot of yearning, huh?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Weekend at Bernie's II. Now, that's an hilarious premise.", "c": ["Gene"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Bernie is dead, you morons. Just because he's wearing sunglasses, he looks alive?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "How long is this weekend, anyway?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "A Gene pick. How could you? I thought we had something special. / No, it doesn't mean anything. I'm not even gonna rewind it.", "c": ["Vincent", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "We only wake you up for the important meetings.", "c": ["Colleague"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Why don't we just go up to your apartment?", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "I feel so rested and refreshed. / Get me a toothbrush.", "c": ["Mrs. Albright"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Enough talk, Jerry. / Not for me. I love chatting.", "c": ["Patty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Milos, my husband.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "He chose to offer you his wife as some sort of medieval sexual payola.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Because of society, right? / Yes, George, because of society.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "'Jerk store' would have smoked that guy. Smoked him, I say.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Oh, I wanted to see that. Thanks. Thanks a lot.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "I didn't know it was possible not to know that.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Gene's trash. / I'm Gene.", "c": ["Elaine", "Gene"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "I guess that's a risk you run when you dabble in the flesh trade.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "I'll do it as long as there's no other girls around. I mean, I wanna be a man too.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Boy, look how far back it goes. It's like a tooth.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "So guess where Mr. Ocean Phone turned up. / He's working for Firestone in Akron, Ohio.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "You're flying to Akron just to zing a guy?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "See, there are no jerk stores.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "It's smart. It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it. And I'm not gonna dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "You're strange and beautiful and sensitive.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Oh, Mr. Kramer, you had a 10:30 appointment. It's 2:00. Mr. Shellbach had a tennis lesson. He's gone for the day.", "c": ["Receptionist"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "He's not a man, this Jerry. He's not even married like I am.", "c": ["Milos"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody, look. The little chicken girl wants me to ease up.", "c": ["Milos"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "He cries like a woman.", "c": ["Milos"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "No, my acne!", "c": ["Vincent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Vodka, cigarettes, fireworks. What kind of a sick woman brings this to a 15-year-old?", "c": ["Vincent's Mother"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "We have the same taste in movies.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Look at the big baby. Hey, big baby, are you wetting yourself? Maybe it is time for you to be changed.", "c": ["Milos"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "The baby got lucky on that one.", "c": ["Milos"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Let's see how many I can fit in my mouth.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "You know, George... the ocean called. They're running out of shrimp.", "c": ["Reilly"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, Reilly? Well, the jerk store called. They're running out of you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "What's the difference? You're their all-time bestseller.", "c": ["Reilly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, I had sex with your wife.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "His wife's in a coma.", "c": ["Colleague"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 9.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "'My wife's in a coma.' Yeah? Well, the life-support machine called and.... Stupid.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Wait. Yes. That's what I should have said.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "You're meat, Reilly! You just screwed yourself!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "The Money"}, {"t": "Am I finally getting a baby brother?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Oh, my God.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "No, no, no, it's not the sex, Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Yeah, that Def Jam is a force.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Now, this Bloomingdale thing: That could be the next wave.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "It's PLO blend.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "She's sticking it that she makes more money... Not nice. Sticking it to me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Sticking it!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Aunt Baby.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "She's got the jimmy legs.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "You might be more than just a couple of tweaks away from a healthy relationship.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Well, you're not exactly zeroing in yourself, lady.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Carrot Top.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "They're yelling and yelling and then one day, they're all gone.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "She'd never make it.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Like strawberry pie.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "You got drugs hidden in the trunk?", "c": ["Jack Klompus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "You're not me.", "c": ["Jack Klompus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Still works.", "c": ["Jack Klompus"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "I used to have a problem.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "I was registered under 'Slappy White.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "We're having an upscale dinner.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "That didn't sound like the Golden Nugget.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "This dry air is curing me like a Black Forest ham.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Who's Mr. Fancy?", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "There was a man. He was trying to get into my apartment last night. He was jiggling the doorknob for 25 minutes.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "No, it was a fearless cat burglar.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, Jerry, I'm very lucky that those crocs didn't get me.", "c": ["Jack Klompus"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "You know, that almost makes this all worthwhile.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "I won't ride in a German car.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "I know a couple of Chinamen over on 43rd Street that will do it for half that.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Estelle has got the jimmy arms.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Like you wouldn't believe.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "And so I made an explosive out of chickpeas.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Cheap fabric and dim lighting: That's how you move merchandise.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "What are you, sticking it to me?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "I saw a bum sleeping in the Cadillac the other day.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "They don't nap. They make it their home. They urinate in there.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "The Comeback"}, {"t": "Who is the last president to have a beard? Nixon. No, I mean a real thick beard. His was thick.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Artemis N. Falkmore. You made that up, right? Yeah. But it sounds like a president name? Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Why do presidents all have bad names? Woodrow, Grover, Millard. The presidency attracts the badly named. Their ambition is based on personal insecurity. It's classic male overcompensation.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Are you wearing lifts in those shoes?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "What's the great moment? On your deathbed. They're pounding on your chest, and you're going: 'Ten, nine, eight... I told you this thing was good.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "I can't believe this is our first date. I know. Dessert? I suppose I have to get a piece of cake. Why? Today is my birthday.", "c": ["Jerry", "Ellen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Well, maybe she decided to celebrate her birthday on the Monday after the weekend. She's not Lincoln.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Does it ever bother you that this organization is beating the bushes to basically give this money away to virtually anyone as long as they're not you? I'm fine with it. Fine, I say.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Quick, what's your favorite animal? I don't know. Frog? Frog? Well, I... Frog is wrong.", "c": ["George", "Student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "I see here that you play the harp. Tell me, why do they have to tilt it? Can't they just build it on an angle? Save you a lot of trouble.", "c": ["George", "Student"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Well, the modern-day harp has been refined over thousands of years back to... Yeah, yeah, we'll let you know.", "c": ["Student", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "I see your GPA is 4.0. You like that, don't you?", "c": ["George", "Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "So, Steven, I see you're president of the chess club. State champs. Who's your favorite chess player? Nastercoff?", "c": ["George", "Steven"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Right. Nastercoff. What country is he from again? I don't know. I made it up.", "c": ["Steven", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "I'm never gonna get this thing. What are you telling me for? You really had me going there. Come on, sit down.", "c": ["Steven", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "What do you want to do when you grow up? Well, I've been telling people that I'd like to be an architect.", "c": ["George", "Steven"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "When it comes out I'll have to get someone to ghost-read it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "So I give him the crook eye back, you know?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "I'm taking on the entire Van Buren Boys. Van Buren Boys? Yeah. There's a street gang named after President Martin Van Buren? Oh, yeah, and they're just as mean as he was.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Then they back me up against the cartoon map of Italy and all of a sudden they just stop. What? What happened? Because I'm still holding the garlic shaker, like this: I'm only showing eight fingers.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "See, Van Buren, he was the eighth president. They thought I was a former Van B Boy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "How was the pizza? It was a little oily.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Oh, Melissa, Kim. Ellen. Hey. I want you to meet Jerry. Oh, we've heard a lot about you. It is so sweet of you to take her out. Yeah, you don't even know how much she needs this.", "c": ["Ellen's Friends", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "They acted like it was some act of charity, going out with her. So she's the loser of the group. Every group has someone that they all make fun of. Like us with Elaine.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "There's no way Ellen is the loser of that group. Are you looking deep down at the real person underneath? No, I'm being as superficial as I possibly can.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "I'm interviewing all these annoying little overachievers and finally this kid walks in, Steven Koren, a regular guy. Likes sports, watches TV. Is he smart? He knows how to read.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "And he also knows that finishing an entire book doesn't prove anything.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "But get this: He's into architecture. Hey, just like you pretend to be.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Yes, with a little guidance Steven Koren is going to be everything I claim to be, only for real. That's my dream, Jerry.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Your place isn't quite what I imagined. Oh, it's just a place to flop.", "c": ["Elaine", "Peterman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Oh, damn, they changed the cable stations again just when I finally memorized them. Two: CBS. Three... I don't know what that is. Where's my damn preview channel?", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Well, I gotta tell you, Mr. Peterman I don't know if I see a whole book here.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "But that didn't happen to you. Well, so we pay off your friend, and it becomes a Peterman.", "c": ["Elaine", "Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Oh, damn, I forgot to buy plant food again. I'll bet I got a coupon for it.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Is that the same outfit you were wearing yesterday? No, this is brand-new. Do you like it? Actually, yeah. Wait a second. Is that the fork that fell on the floor? Are you using the fork that fell on the floor? No, Jerry, the waitress gave me another one.", "c": ["Jerry", "Ellen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "You're fantastic.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "His GPA is a solid 2.0. Right in that meaty part of the curve. Not showing off, not falling behind.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Besides, Steven Koren has the highest of aspirations. He wants to be an architect. Actually, maybe I could set my sights a little bit higher. Steven, nothing is higher than architect.", "c": ["George", "Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "I think I'd really like to be a city planner. Why limit myself to one building when I can design a whole city?", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Well, that's a good point. No, it's not.", "c": ["Board Member", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Isn't an architect just an art school dropout with a tilting desk and a big ruler? It's called a T-square.", "c": ["Board Member", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "You know, the stupidest guy in my fraternity became an architect after he flunked out of dental school.", "c": ["Board Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Kramer, my friend, that is one ripping good yarn.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "You know, if you liked that one, I got more. What are you looking for? Romance? Comedy? Adventure? Erotica? No, Kramer, I don't think...", "c": ["Kramer", "Peterman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "My whole life? Name your price, man. $1500. I'll give you half that. Done.", "c": ["Kramer", "Peterman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Well, I'm on the phone with Bob, and I realize right then and there that I need to return this pair of pants. So I'm off to the store. What happened to Bob Sacamano? Well, nothing. His part of the story is done.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "I don't understand. You were wearing the pants you were returning? Well, I guess I was. What were you gonna wear on the way back?", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Oh, you're getting together with some of your jackass friends? Yeah, but get there after 9. You know, give the people a chance to loosen up.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "So you're denying him the scholarship because he wants to be a city planner? I was betrayed. That kid was like a son to me.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "If there's one person you should be able to hold down, it's your own flesh and blood. Like my father and my father's father before him.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "You know, maybe philanthropy is not your field.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "What is this? You wanna start? No, no, no. You go ahead. I gotta get my thoughts together. Jerry, this whole Ellen situation has gone far enough. What? Jerry, she's a loser.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "This is like that Twilight Zone where the guy wakes up and he's the same, and everybody else is different. Which one? They were all like that.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "These are my new friends... the Van Buren Boys. He became so disillusioned, he had to join us.", "c": ["Steven", "Gang Member"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Great party, K-Man. You got that straight. Elaine, try the beef, because that's real au jus sauce. Real au jus sauce.", "c": ["Guest", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "You can't tell that story now. It belongs to Peterman. You signed the release. He sat in mud, not you. But I did sit in mud. You didn't. You never sat in mud.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, well, I... Yeah, the pants... They... They... They fit well and so I decided I wasn't gonna return them.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "You know what those guys are gonna do? Yeah, well, you didn't hear it from me... but the Van Buren Boys, they never hassle their own kind. You mean, like a former member?", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "These Kramer stories are unusable. I mean, some of them aren't even stories. Look, this is the list of things in his apartment.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Is my toaster oven on there?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Oh, hey. Hey, have I told you about my bunions? You're going to love this story. So I line up my cold cuts on the couch next to me but as I'm stacking them up they keep falling into my footbath.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Oh, I bought a bunch of bunion stories from Newman. But they all stink. How much did you pay for them? Eight bucks. I think I'm getting ripped off. Newman!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Don't you see? The train is bearing down on you... you dive into a side tunnel... and you run into a whole band of underground tunnel dwellers.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "It just seems so clich\u00e9d and obvious. It's not interesting writing.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "The very pants I was returning. That's perfect irony. Elaine, that is interesting writing.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Nonsense. I have Benes' wonderfully imaginative mind to spin my stories. You take back your tales, you vagabond.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "And by the way, when you get to that chapter about romantic escapades... feel free to toss yourself into the mix.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Then why don't you flash us the sign? Right. The sign. That's not the sign. It was when I was banging.", "c": ["Gang Member", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "And after college I got my master's at the Sorbonne. Sorbonne. Oh, hey, that's in Paris. Jerry, your parking meter is about to expire. Don't get up. I've got change.", "c": ["Ellen", "Jerry's Dad", "Jerry's Mom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Jerry, she is fantastic. I knew it. I'm not crazy. She's so sweet. And she's got some body on her. And smart, like a computer. And so much personality. But it doesn't matter what we think. Do you like her? Now I'm not so sure.", "c": ["Jerry's Parents", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "She's 10 times better than that awful Amber girl that you were with. Yeah, Amber. I wonder if she's back from Vegas.", "c": ["Jerry's Mom", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Give me your wallet. I'll give it back to you later. How are your folks? Trying to pick out a new couch. You don't wanna know. Give me your wallet or I'll spill your guts right here on the street.", "c": ["George", "Jerry's Dad"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "What did you say? Come on, hurry up, old man. I'm an animal. You're being very rude. Come on, Morty. Please, they're gonna hit me. What? George Costanza, what is the matter with you?", "c": ["Jerry's Dad", "George", "Jerry's Mom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Van Buren Boys"}, {"t": "Hey, if I were a gigolo, how much do you think I could charge a night?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Here or in Japan? / What's the difference? / Well, the Japanese are more enlightened. They can see beyond the physical.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Forget Japan. How much would you pay? / Oh, I don't know. A dollar.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I think I'm worth at least 300.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "You're demeaning me. / You're a gigolo. / Well, you hired me. I'm the victim here.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "When does it start? / Don't know. They tell you the night before.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I am springing ahead right now.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sure that won't cause any problems.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Don't tell me you're still mad at him for calling you a phony.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Fine. And I'm not just saying that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "No openings in arson?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "No, no, no. No bets for me. I got a disease.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "It's all water near a bridge.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I don't see you as a Susie. Sharon, maybe.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "What am I, a bulimic, chain-smoking stenographer from Staten Island?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Kind of a Yankee prom?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "This woman is genetically engineered to go to a ball.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Tall, blond, lithe. / Live? / Lithe. / Live? / Lithe. / Oh, lithe.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Backless? You gonna back her in?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "She's not gonna twi... / She'll twirl.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Is that the best you could do?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "She doesn't want to. She needs to talk. / Nobody needs to talk. Who would want to?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I told her I was out of soda. I went out to get some, and I never went back.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "And she wants to break up with you. / Can you believe it?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Everybody breaks up at Pomodoros.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "No, I like the ball. This is my one chance to make a great entrance.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "You've made some fine exits.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "If she can't find me, she can't break up with me. And if we're still going out, she has to go to the ball.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "That's some sweet action. / But I don't want any sweet action.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Well, I couldn't do it. I got a gambling problem. So you put down my money? You don't have a problem.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "You know, it's amazing Peterman hasn't fired that dolt.", "c": ["Peggy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "It's not Suz, all right? It's Susie. My name is Susie.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Believe it or not George isn't at home / Please leave a message At the beep", "c": ["George's machine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "No, I can't. She knows I go there. It's not secure.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I hate that stupid message.", "c": ["Allison"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Oh, I guess you're not at home. I probably should have tried you at the office.", "c": ["Allison"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "But there is no way I'm gonna be a Suz.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "What am I? Some pom-pom waving, back-seat bimbo?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "No, I was kicked out for fighting with one of the players. / Wait. Wait. Wait. Who? / Reggie Miller.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Well, first of all, for some reason, they started the game an hour late.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Well, I ran out onto the court and threw a hot dog at Reggie Miller.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Then the three of us went to a strip club.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I didn't know Cheryl Miller's little brother played basketball.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "See, that's a cool G, daddy-o. Now, you gotta let it ride.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "And between you, me and the lamppost, and the desk...", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I don't know, Mike, to me it sounds a little, how you say, phony.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "So Allison and I think that the best thing to do is just make a clean break.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I didn't even know you wanted to get serious. / So, what am I in this for?", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "We don't have to name names or point fingers... or name names.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Me and her have had our problems. She and I have had our problems. You and I and she and you.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Elaine and Susie, Susie and Elaine.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I'll get the money. I got a hundred in my pocket if you wanna reach in.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Stupid thumbs.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Oh, the trunk's broken. It's rattling.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Well, there's only one thing to do. Eliminate her. / What? / Get rid of Susie. Make her disappear.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I've been walking around all night. I've been thinking about Allison and me and you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "She took her own life.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "We're taking George back. / What? / He's gonna make us very happy.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "My real funeral's not gonna come close to this.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I'm not Susie. I'm Elaine. / But I've been calling you Susie. / Hadn't noticed. Excuse me.", "c": ["Elaine", "Peggy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "It's a rental, but I've had it for 15 years.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "And most of all, I will never forget that one night... working late on the catalog... just the two of us, and we surrendered to temptation. And it was pretty good.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Hold on! Susie didn't commit suicide. She was murdered... by Jerry Seinfeld!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "I'm Susie. She's me. / I feel the same way.", "c": ["Elaine", "Peterman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Suz!", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "The Susie"}, {"t": "Baking soda, annoying little product. 'I can do this, I can do that.' Why doesn't the stuff just shut up?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "How many years of med school did you have?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Finicky? Prissy? Fastidious? I'll take 'fastidious.'", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Do they have to squeeze his head to get him to say 'Holy cow'?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Well, I was drafting behind a semi. I didn't wanna lose him.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "The infrastructure, Jerry, it's crumbling.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "This supreme flounder, it says 'First time served in America.' Is that true?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "If we deliver to you, then what? 85th Street? Wall Street? Mexico? 84th Street?", "c": ["Chinese Restaurant Worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Well, I'm a papa.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Oh, looks just like you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "I don't have a spare set. All my keys say 'do not duplicate.' So you can't duplicate them.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Sure you can. Such a sweet kid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "You know, this isn't fair. This is address discrimination.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "When I'm through with her mouth, she'll be able to eat off it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "So I sat on that bench for a little while, 20 minutes or an hour...", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Poor son of a bitch.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "The engine's made by McDonnell Douglas. When the battery runs out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "That stuff tastes like bleach. I don't know anything about that.", "c": ["Jenna", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Maybe if I could shrink myself down, like in Fantastic Voyage... and get inside a microscopic submarine, I could be sure. Although if there was something there, it might be pretty scary. Of course, I would have that laser.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "And from disorder... you're a quirk or two away from full-on dementia.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Mile 114, clean as a whistle.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "I just rolled them into the woods. Yeah, that stuff's all natural anyway.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Speed limit, 165 miles per hour. See? They slipped a one in there. Those kids with the spray paint, God love them.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "If the real Phil Rizzuto was down there this wouldn't be happening.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "I bruised my lip. I was drinking a Cel-Ray... and I brought it up too fast and I banged it into my lip. And then I knocked your toothbrush into the toilet. And I wasn't able to tell you before you could use it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "There. Now something of yours has been in the toilet.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Hello, Jenna? Did you dunk the spatula? Was it the spatula? Hello?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Are you just screwing with me? Yeah, I am.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Well, you black out lane lines one and three... and a four-lane highway becomes a two-lane comfort cruise.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "It's better than eating it alone in the restaurant like some loser.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Newman uses his mail truck... to run fish for China Panda on the weekends.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Right, because... I'm the janitor.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Somebody screwed up on that one.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Oh, but you have a slop bucket.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Well, a lot of it is vegetables.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Steak knife?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Dirt? That's all right, because there's nothing wrong with dirt. Well, actually, it's pretty grimy. Grime, grease, filth, funk, ooze, whatever it is... you take that stuff and put it right on my leather upholstery.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Toilet brush.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Because I threw out all my dishes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Holy cow.", "c": ["Phil Rizzuto Bobblehead"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Bugger.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Double bugger.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Oh, the humanity!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Man, did you see that fireball?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "The Pothole"}, {"t": "Box of Raisinets eating another box of Raisinets? It's perverse.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "He's not gonna eat them. He's buying them for his Pepsi girlfriend.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "And why is he dating a Pepsi? They're not having children.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "They're musicians. Musicians. Get a real job.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "He looks just like you.", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "George's stunned silence and repeated 'Like me?'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "\"Number-one dad.\" And it's a medium. Perfect.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "This is what her boyfriend looks like. How is that possible?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Like a mustache or wearing a top hat or a monocle or a cane. Who's she dating? Mr. Peanut?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "You could do a lot worse than Mr. Peanut, my friend.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "It's a family in a brown paper bag. Don't you wanna know how they got in there?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "So do you think they got shrunk down, or is it just a giant sack?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Well, you know, you don't look that much like him.", "c": ["Danielle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "You look like you're in better shape than Neil. Do you work out?", "c": ["Danielle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "How about, it sucked.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "That Ralph Fiennes. I would give up my firstborn for him.", "c": ["Peterman's employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "He's getting the short end of that stick.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "You know, I bought you a Cadillac. Twice.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "See that? You couldn't do that.", "c": ["Izzy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Hey, your kid's pretty funny, Morty. He should be a comedian. Actually, I am a comedian. That's not so funny.", "c": ["Izzy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "lzzy used to work out with Charles Atlas in the '50s. 1850s?", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "My back.", "c": ["Izzy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "There's already an ambulance here for Mrs. Glickman. There's room for one more.", "c": ["Resident"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "They make it longer?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "You must be Kramer's guys. Come on in. You got the cigars? What cigars? Kramer said to bring him some Cubans. We are the Cubans.", "c": ["Jerry", "Dominican workers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Jerry, Cuban cigars are illegal in this country.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "You're not wearing a shirt, are you? Yes, I am. What color is it? Damn it.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Those sex scenes. I mean, please. Give me something I can use.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "You know, sex in a tub. That doesn't work.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "The Mandelbaums own the Magic Pan restaurants. The crepe place? Yeah, this is all big crepe money.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "There's crepe money?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "You think that you are the number-one dad? This was a gift from my son. Oh, I see how it works now. He knocks me out of commission so you can strut around in your fancy number-one shirt.", "c": ["Izzy", "Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Some guy, some guy? Neil.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "You've 'out-Neiled' him. So I'm Neil. How did I do that? I don't know, but you better keep it up.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Number one here. Number one, signing off.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "They're not real Cubans. They're Dominicans.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Jerry, once you've had real Cubans, there's just nothing else like it. We're talking about people, right? Yes, yes, the quality, the texture, the intoxicating aroma.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "It was extraordinary. It ravished me.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Well, actually I haven't seen it so I couldn't tell you whether I liked it or whether it really sucked.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "The 'World's Greatest Dad.' My son made it for me. That's very nice. The best in the world which means I'm better than just number one.", "c": ["Izzy Jr.", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Well, I don't know how official any of these rankings really are.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Oh, you think you're tough, picking on an old man? Maybe you'd like to try taking on somebody your own age. You got any kids?", "c": ["Izzy Jr.", "Izzy III"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Oh, my back. Call an ambulance. We're already in a hospital.", "c": ["Izzy III", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "If they were any more Cuban, Castro would have smoked them himself.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Well, yeah, yeah, but they also rolled for his brother, Dennis. Dennis Castro? Dwayne.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Coffee? I can beat that. Move in with me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "What if it's Neil Armstrong? Then I'm going to Mars.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "What if it's Neil Diamond? Oh, shut up, Jerry, just shut up.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "It's like, one of them dies, the other one wants to bench-press the casket.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "You know, Marxism, the workers' revolution, the clothing.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "When there's no work and the people get restless, who do you think they come after?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum.", "c": ["All three Mandelbaums"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "There's nobody there now at the Magic Pan to roll the crepes. Each crepe has to be hand-rolled by a Mandelbaum. That's what puts the magic in Magic Pan.", "c": ["Izzy Jr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "No, I can't do this anymore. I can't. It's too long.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Quit telling your stupid story about the stupid desert and just die already. Die!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? You're fired.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "I have to live in a cave.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Looks like they're rolling a Double Corona. Just a cigar made out of Bisquick, huh, Guillermo?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "My face! Why are the crepes spraying?", "c": ["Neil", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Well, that's why you gotta get real Cubans.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Cane. I knew it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "So we meet at last. I admire your skills, Mr. Peanut.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "Marry me. I'll burn myself. I'll burn my parents.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "I win.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "The English Patient"}, {"t": "You know that manslaughter is the least serious murder charge? Manslaughter. Literally, the slaughter of a man. Sounds brutal, doesn't it? Yet it's the most socially acceptable form of murder.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "How about 'inadvertent life-ending'? 'Unintentional snuff-out.'", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "How about 'I can't believe it's not murder'?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Well, he was the devil's son, right? I thought he was the devil's helper. He's pretty scary for a helper.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Walking date's good. You don't have to look at the person. It's the next best thing to being alone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Yeah, look at those babies, huh? They're prunes.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Nothing, just a mischievous, rambunctious kid.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "You know Twinkies aren't cooked? It looks cooked. It's dark on the bottom. That's just the way it is. It's a substance.", "c": ["Hal"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Like Back in Business... or Good Vertebrations. Not this one. It's called the Lumbar Yard.", "c": ["Hal"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Drop one. Left.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Sounds like a cool fort.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "There is no normal. Whatever Jerry wants. He wants me here late, I'm late. Early, I'm early.", "c": ["Conrad"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Maybe we'll just stand and watch the TV.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Mattress? I didn't order a mattress. Who sent this?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Like that? Like that? Like that. If that's what you want. That's what I want.", "c": ["George", "Conrad"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "This is better than my bed at home.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "It was like I was swimming through a flabby-armed spanking machine.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "That pool can't hold me, Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "You think he was expecting a roll in the supportive hay?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "You have a waterbed? Sand. It's like sleeping on a beach.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Just figure it out for yourself and get it done. All right, Jerry, but I can figure it out by myself any way you want.", "c": ["Jerry", "Conrad"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "She's a heartbreaker, a love-taker, Brubaker run this prison like a man. Something like that. Very catchy tune. Very, very catchy.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "I estimated your height and weight: 5'8'', about 110 pounds?", "c": ["Hal"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "No, that's probably just a dead body, son. You see, when the mob kills someone, they throw the body in the river.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Technically, Norfolk has more gross tonnage.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Swimming? Well, floating. They weren't moving much, but they were out there.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Should I go? No way, Jack. I'm not humming it at the record store again.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "How about a ride on the Stein-pony express? Get up here. What's your name, shorty? Mel? Are you Mel?", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Beat it, Brian. Beat it. Beat it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Call in a bomb threat. A bomb threat? Why would I call in a bomb threat? Just call.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Quick, everybody under the desk.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Can you imagine what went through my mind when I saw there wasn't room under that desk for me and my babies?", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "You had a premonition about the bomb. You climbed under because you have ESP. Quick, George, put a thought in my mind. Meatballs, huh? Unbelievable. You're a wonder, George.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "No more cheap adjustable hats for Hat Day. He wants fitted hats just like the players wear.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "What is this? It's like you're selling movie tickets back here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Oh, man, I'm on the wrong floor again.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what I think it is? I think it's that East River. I think it might be polluted.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm with stinky. I'm going back to my place.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "What if a pinhead shows up? I gotta be on top of that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Seven and five-eighths! Why are you shouting? I don't know! It's this place. I'm very uncomfortable here.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "I went clamming the other day and I forgot to hose off my boots. Clamming? Yeah, I clam and scallop.", "c": ["Elaine", "Hal"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Is it 'Fe-bru-ary' or 'Feb-uary'? Because I prefer 'uary,' and what is this rule?", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "It would be nice if you called ticket-holders if a game is gonna be rained out.", "c": ["George as terrorist"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "When someone's unstable, don't stir the pot. Know what I'll do? Run around the stadium, closing windows.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "It'll be years before they find another place to hide cheese on a pizza.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Ferry traffic gets really bad around 4:30.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "You've been in her bed. That's right. But this isn't still going on? No, no, no, she put a stop to that.", "c": ["Hal", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Four hours in this chop, and I'm a full inch taller.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Fire in the hole!", "c": ["Bomb Squad"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "You want something one day. The next day you don't like it. I mean, come on, man. Make a decision.", "c": ["Conrad"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "I am trapped under a funky mattress.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "He recommended it to all his patients.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "He just sunk like a stone, didn't he?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "It's just empty calories and male curiosity, eh, Georgie?", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Starting tomorrow, no more desks. Just a Lucite table and four legs.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "You people find your own river!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "No, and I prefer Conrad.", "c": ["Conrad"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Not bad for 4000 bucks.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "Can't believe I got the low-fat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "The Nap"}, {"t": "I gotta read five books? / All right, one.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Three Musketeers. / You've read that? / No, I'm saving it for the island.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "You know, he was in The Three Musketeers. / Exactly. Save me having to read the book.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "So, uh, Marcy, you should have seen me in the hot tub today. / Why? / I was naked.", "c": ["George", "Marcy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "I saw it. / How'd he look? / Okay. I wouldn't see it again.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Uh, yada, yada, yada. Just some bad egg salad.", "c": ["Marcy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's like you're dating USA Today.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "I'm a Jew. / Excuse me? / I'm a Jew. I finished converting two days ago.", "c": ["Whatley", "Jerry", "Whatley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "You know, it was more like a Jewish workout.", "c": ["Whatley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "When someone turns 21, they usually get drunk the first night. / Booze is not a religion. / Tell that to my father.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Where was I? / It was when you were engaged. / Oh, I gotta get on that Internet. I'm late on everything.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Oh, God, a baby. / That can add two years to a marriage.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Well, you're both so... striking.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "So I'm on Third Avenue, minding my own business and, yada, yada, yada, I get a free massage and a facial.", "c": ["Marcy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Well, they gave birth to me and... yada, yada. / Yada what? / Yada, yada, yada.", "c": ["George", "Marcy", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "It's a hundred percent cotton. / And some wool.", "c": ["Kramer", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Well, I have the same shirt. / Yeah, well, I'm wearing it.", "c": ["Mickey", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Did I mention I'm a serious actor? Really? I enjoy polo. Oh. I like the beach. My aunt has been, uh, ill of late. I own a tuxedo.", "c": ["Kramer", "Julie/Karen", "Mickey", "Julie/Karen", "Kramer", "Mickey", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "I like merlot. I love merlot. I'm crazy about merlot. I live for merlot. We're out of merlot.", "c": ["Kramer", "Mickey", "Kramer", "Mickey", "Waiter"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "I mean, he barely even knew me. Where did he get off--? [long pause] But they're great people.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Which reminds me, did you hear the one about the rabbit and the farmer's daughter, huh? 'Those aren't matzo balls.'", "c": ["Whatley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Jerry, it's our sense of humor that sustained us as a people for 3000 years. / Five thousand. / Five thousand, even better.", "c": ["Whatley", "Jerry", "Whatley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Chrissy, give me a shtickl of fluoride.", "c": ["Whatley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "I believe Whatley converted to Judaism just for the jokes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Well, why were you holding the door open for? / Not for you. / Who holds a door open for a man?", "c": ["Mickey", "Kramer", "Mickey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Oh, everybody's your type. / What the hell does that mean? / You've been married three times.", "c": ["Mickey", "Kramer", "Mickey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "We were engaged to be married, um... We bought the wedding invitations and, uh, yada, yada, yada. I'm still single.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "So speaking of exes, my old boyfriend came over late last night and yada, yada, yada. Anyway, I'm really tired today.", "c": ["Marcy"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Well, I... Uh, you know, I just told them what kind people you are and, uh... how Arnie's a big movie buff and yada, yada, yada.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Father Curtis, good guy. Oh, which reminds me. Did ya hear the one about the pope and Raquel Welch on the lifeboat?", "c": ["Whatley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Which one is Julie? / I don't know.", "c": ["Kramer", "Mickey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "'No, I said, Hand me the buoys.' / 'Buoys.'", "c": ["Jerry", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Total joke-telling immunity. He's already got the big two religions covered. If he ever gets Polish citizenship, there'll be no stopping him.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "You don't think she'd yada yada sex? / I've yada yada-ed sex.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "But you yada yada-ed over the best part. / No, I mentioned the bisque.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "And-- Oh, I stole a Piaget watch.", "c": ["Marcy"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "And this offends you as a Jewish person? / No, it offends me as a comedian.", "c": ["Father Curtis", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "You know the difference between a dentist and a sadist, don't ya? / Um-- / Newer magazines.", "c": ["Jerry", "Father Curtis", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Well, I don't know. I mean, I talked to him and blah, blah, blah. He asked about you guys and da, da-da, da-da. More questions. Blah, blah, blah.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Slipped out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Are-- Are you about done? / Oh, I'm just getting warmed up. / Because I'm just a sadist with newer magazines.", "c": ["Jerry", "Whatley", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "You have no idea what my people have been through. / The Jews? / No, the dentists.", "c": ["Whatley", "Jerry", "Whatley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "We have the highest suicide rate of any profession. / Is that why it's so hard to get an appointment?", "c": ["Whatley", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Oh, small world. / So little people can have 'non-little-people' children? / Oh, yeah, and vice versa. / Yeah, Mother Nature's a mad scientist, Jerry.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jerry", "Kramer", "Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Those people... can be so touchy. / 'Those people.' Listen to yourself.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite. / I am not an anti-dentite. / You're a rabid anti-dentite.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs: 'Hey, denty.' Next thing you know, you're saying they should have their own schools. / They do have their own schools.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Now, we can do this the easy way, or... we can do this... the fun way.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "She, uh, went shopping for some shoes for the wedding and, uh, yada, yada, yada, I'll see her in six to eight months.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "That's Dr. Abbott, D.D.S. Tim Whatley was one of my students. And if this wasn't my son's wedding day, I'd knock your teeth out, you anti-dentite bastard.", "c": ["Dr. Abbott"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Hey, what do you call a doctor who fails out of med school? / What? / A dentist.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Dentists. / Yeah, who needs 'em? / Not to mention the blacks and the Jews.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Where's Beth? / She ran out to get her head shaved.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "Yada, yada, yada. I pronounce you man and wife.", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "I really wanted you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "The Yada Yada"}, {"t": "I'd like to buy these huaraches.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Nothing. You just lost a customer.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "In fact, I enjoy being the theater cutup. Last week after a preview, I yelled out, 'Must miss!'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "I think that I was in that theater. That was really funny.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "You've got to lift up that plastic thing with a pen.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "New Year's Eve, 1999, the millennium.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "I got a case of party poppers I'm gonna keep in front of them.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "I'm on a winning ball club, Jerry. They probably want to pick my brain.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "I don't mind the Mayans.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "And he's 1/64 Mayan.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Those aren't for New Year's. Those are my everyday balloons.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "We're not talking. We're just talking.", "c": ["Mets executives"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "We couldn't say that we said it.", "c": ["Mets executives"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Maybe a nicer girl called.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Sales commission, bye-bye-o.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "I want to walk away from the Yankees with people saying: 'Wow! Now, that guy got canned.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "So you want to go out in a final blaze of incompetence.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Or is this mouth-vacuum thing for real?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "It's pronounced 'thermometer.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "You just think of a person, they'll be talking to you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "You forgot the gift certificate to Barnes & Noble.", "c": ["Valerie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Seinfeld, you magnificent bastard.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Isn't that Babe's Ruth uniform?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "It's good. Juicy this time of year.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Will people be able to breathe under water in the year 2000?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Oh, no wonder we're getting so much rain.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Come celebrate the millennium with 'Newmannium.'", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "It's taken me 13 years to climb up to the top of that speed dial.", "c": ["Mrs. Hamilton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "He wasn't really a sultan, huh? What do you make of that?", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "You don't think that nerve disease of his was contagious, do you?", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "My stepmother got to you, didn't she?", "c": ["Valerie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Think again, long shanks.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "I started planning this in 1978. I put a deposit down on that restaurant that overlooks Times Square. And I booked Christopher Cross.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "For me, the next millennium must be Jerry-free.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Never thought I'd fail at failing.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.67, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "I'm Gladys Mayo.", "c": ["Gladys Mayo"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "This really sticks in my craw.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Why don't I put you on my speed dial?", "c": ["Mrs. Hamilton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Newmannium!", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "A short, stocky, bald man is streaking across the field.", "c": ["Baseball announcer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "He's wearing a flesh-toned body stocking. Apparently he's a bit bashful.", "c": ["Baseball announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "To the 'Kramennium.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "That's interesting because as everyone knows, since there was no year zero, the millennium doesn't begin until the year 2001, which would make your party one year late and thus quite lame.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "I don't feel well at all. I feel all dried-out inside.", "c": ["Mrs. Hamilton"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "I hit the button for Poison Control and I get you.", "c": ["Valerie"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Wow, Poison Control. That's even higher than number one.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Millennium"}, {"t": "Would you mind watching my bag for a second? / Why? So I can stand here like an idiot not knowing if you'll ever come back?", "c": ["George", "Stranger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "George wearing the clothes from the bag he was supposed to watch", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "He asked you to watch them, not wear them. / I'm still watching them.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "When do you start to worry about ear hair? / When you hear, like, a soft rustling.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Puberty that never stops. Ear puberty, nose puberty, knuckle puberty.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "So who's the new you? / They got an intern from Francis Lewis High. His name is Keith. He comes in Mondays after school.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Where are you meeting these women? When they get off the bus at the Port Authority?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "You put my life stories in his autobiography?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "I've broken through, huh? I'm part of popular culture now.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Oh, get out! Get out! I don't wanna live like this!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Why is it every half-wit and sitcom star has his own book out now?", "c": ["Mr. Lippman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "You're that gangly fellow we bought the stories from.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "There's enough juice here to keep us all fat and giggly.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "So you just eat the tops? / Oh, yeah, it's the best part. It's crunchy. It's explosive. It's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of does its own thing.", "c": ["Mr. Lippman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "I'll tell you, that's a million-dollar idea right there. Just sell the tops.", "c": ["Mr. Lippman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Try looking up, hayseed. You wanna sightsee, get on a bus.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Please don't think all New Yorkers are so rude. / Well, no, actually I'm-- / I'm Mary Anne. I work for the New York Visitors Center.", "c": ["Mary Anne", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Well, I was shaving... and I noticed an asymmetry in my chest hair. And I was trying to even it out. And the next thing I knew: Gone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Don't you know you're not supposed to poke around down there? / Well, women do it.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Well, I'll tell you what. I'll pick you up a sundress and a parasol and you can just sashay your pretty little self around the town square.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Jerry shaved his chest. / Hey! I forgot. Wait, never mind.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "You couldn't pay me enough to ride a horse in this city. I mean, it's hard enough to cross the street in a pair of sneakers, let alone six feet in the air on a jittery, glassy-eyed dinosaur.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Well, you couldn't pay me enough to go to the beach on a weekend. I mean, it's hard enough to park--", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Oh, hairless. This is where it's at. It's so much smoother and cleaner.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "A muffin-top store? / What did I just say?", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Top of the muffin to you.", "c": ["Mr. Lippman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "So you're pretending to be a tourist? / It's beautiful. She makes all the plans. I'm not from around here, so it's okay if I'm stupid.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "And she knows I'm only in town visiting, so there's no messy breakups. / How do you explain your apartment? / I got a hotel room.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "You moved into a hotel? / Well, I don't know anyone here, Jerry. Where else am I gonna stay?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "I don't want her to think I'm one of those low-rise briefs guys who shaves his chest.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "These ideas are all in the air. They're in the air. / Oh, well, then, if that air is coming out of this face, then it is my air and my idea.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Yeah, my parents have it. Sometimes it skips a generation.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "I got SpectraVision. First five minutes free.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "At some point you're going back to your job at Tyler Chicken and your three-legged dog, Willy.", "c": ["Mary Anne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "George, no offense, but this city would eat you alive.", "c": ["Mary Anne"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Eat me alive, huh? We'll see who can make it in this town.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "You know, if you take everything I've accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "What's dessert? / Bite-size 3 Musketeers. Just like the real Peterman eats. / He eats those? / No, I eat those. I'm the real Peterman.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "J. Peterman is real. His biography is not. Now, you, Kramer, are real. But your life is Peterman's. Now, the bus tour, which is real, takes you to places that, while they are real, they are not real in the sense that they did not really happen to the real Peterman, which is you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's 37.50 for a 3 Musketeers.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "You're making just the muffin tops. / What do you mean? / You gotta make the whole muffin. Then you... pop the top, toss the stump.", "c": ["Elaine", "Mr. Lippman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "So, what do we do with the bottoms? / Give them to a soup kitchen.", "c": ["Mr. Lippman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Do you really think we need the exclamation point? Because it's not, 'Top of the muffin to you!' / No, no, it is.", "c": ["Elaine", "Mr. Lippman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "What are you doing to yourself? / I can't stop.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Don't you know what's gonna happen? Every time you shave it, it's gonna come in thicker and fuller and darker.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Kramer revealing his extremely hairy back", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "I shaved there when I was a lifeguard.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "They're just stumps. / Well, they're perfectly edible. / Oh, so you just assume the homeless will eat them? They'll eat anything?", "c": ["Rebecca DeMornay", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "I know what you thought: 'They don't have homes. Don't have jobs. What do they need the top of a muffin for? They're lucky to get the stumps.'", "c": ["Rebecca DeMornay"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "If the homeless don't like them, the homeless don't have to eat them.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Why don't you drop off chicken skins and lobster shells? / I think I might.", "c": ["Rebecca DeMornay", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "But if you stay here more than a few months, you're a real sucker.", "c": ["Mary Anne"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "It smells like the last tenant had monkeys or something.", "c": ["Mary Anne"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "It's the one that's covered in chicken wire.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Hey, if you're the real Peterman, how come you're wearing those ratty clothes? / Well, that's your opinion.", "c": ["Tourist", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Can I have another 3 Musketeers? They're rather small. / Forget it.", "c": ["Tourist", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "I can't drive and argue with you rubes all at the same time.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Do you think you could transport some stumps for me? / Well, if they don't mind sitting in the back. / No, they don't. / Are they war veterans?", "c": ["Mr. Lippman", "Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Hen supervisor from Tyler Chicken? / Yes, very nice for her to have met you, sir.", "c": ["Steinbrenner", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Moonlighting for Tyler Chicken. Pretty impressive, George. Days with the New York Yankees, nights in Arkansas with a topflight bird outfit. And a hen supervisor, to boot. I am blown. Blown away. Blown, George. Blown!", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "You know, when you make a pizza bagel, you really shouldn't use cinnamon raisin. / You also shouldn't use a doughnut.", "c": ["Jerry", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "You know, I never thought he'd be able to re-create the experience of actually knowing him, but this is pretty close.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "How about this: You give me Costanza. I convert your concessions to all chicken, no charge. Instead of hot dogs, chicken dogs. Instead of pretzels, chicken twists.", "c": ["Steinbrenner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Instead of beer, alcoholic chicken. / How do you make alcoholic chicken? / They ferment, just like anything else.", "c": ["Steinbrenner", "Don Tyler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Well, it's muffin stumps. / Where are the muffin tops? / This is a garbage dump. / Just let me dump it. / Can't do it.", "c": ["Kramer", "Dump Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "So the New York Yankees traded you for a bunch of Tyler Chicken? / Dogs, twists, and a fermented chicken drink.", "c": ["Mary Anne", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Hey, aren't you the guy I asked to watch my clothes? / What clothes? / These clothes. The ones you're wearing.", "c": ["Original Owner", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "My chest hair's growing back, and it's itching me like crazy. I can't let her see me scratch it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "I don't know where the tops are.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Jerry scratching his itchy chest hair while Alex pets the dog", "c": ["Jerry", "Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Jerry, you gotta bring me some clothes here. I lost my job with the Yankees. I'm standing in a men's room on 43rd Street in my underpants.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "I told you this city would eat you alive. / And I think my relationship's in trouble.", "c": ["Mary Anne", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "What is this guy again? / They call him a cleaner. He makes problems go away.", "c": ["Elaine", "Mr. Lippman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "If I'm curt, then I apologize. But as I understand it, we have a situation here. And time is of the essence.", "c": ["The Cleaner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Muffin Tops"}, {"t": "Well, you had a good run. You took them to the World Series. I gotta give the players most of the credit for that. Don't sell yourself short. You made flight arrangements, hotels, buses.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "No, I don't know who was doing that. So when you actually did work, what is it that you did?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I'll tell you, they had a pastry cart you wouldn't believe.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Maybe I should ask her out. She is a good waitress. It's true.", "c": ["Jerry", "Others"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "What's the deal with those guys down in the pit? They're musicians. That's not a joke. It's a funny observation.", "c": ["Jerry", "Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "The Yankees are giving me three months' full pay for doing nothing. They did it for three years. What's another few months?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I'm gonna read a book... from beginning to end, in that order. I've always wanted to do that.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I'm going to play Frolf. You mean golf? Frolf. Frisbee golf, Jerry. Golf with a Frisbee.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "This is gonna be my time. Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down my chin.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I proclaim this 'The Summer of George.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "What's with her arms? They just hang like salamis. She walks like an orangutan. Better call the zoo.", "c": ["Elaine", "Others"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "What? Catty.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "It's like she's carrying invisible suitcases. Like this? Yes, exactly.", "c": ["Elaine", "Others"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "So why am I the one who gets labeled catty? I mean, they were being just as catty as I was. It's a double standard. Oh, and what about ladies' night? Women admitted free before 10?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I bought a new recliner with a fridge built right into it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Hey, Jerry, you got any TUMS? Stomachache? I drank too much water in the shower.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I'm a seat-filler. They don't like to see empty seats on TV. Somebody gets up, I park my caboose in their spot until they get back.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Mickey, he hooked me up. Yeah, he's a member of the academy. What academy? Well, he didn't say.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Thanks. It's a breakaway.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Are you leaving? Because I got you covered. I'll just go ahead and get in there. Just a minute. What are you doing? My job. What are you doing?", "c": ["Kramer", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "They catch the two of us on TV, you might have a little explaining to do.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "So you and Lyle are roommates? No. Gay? What? Is he gay? No. Are you sure? I think I would know.", "c": ["Jerry", "Date"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "This is a new one. Turkey jerky? Go ahead, take a pull. More for me.", "c": ["Date", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Kramer? Thank you and bless you all. This truly has been a Scarsdale Surprise.", "c": ["Kramer", "Audience"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "You know, sort of swing them... so you're not lurching around, you know, like a caveman. I'm a caveman?", "c": ["Elaine", "Sam"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Everyone told me what a catty shrew you were. You're horrible.", "c": ["Sam", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "She had a dude? When I went to pick her up, there was this dude. How do you know it was her dude? It could've been just some dude? Dudes in this town are a dime a dozen. I reckon.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "So has the Summer of George begun, or are you still decomposing? Decompressing.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "That's the musical about the Scarsdale diet doctor murder. Featuring the mind-blowing performance of Miss Raquel Welch.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I saw the sun rise at Liza's. Minnelli's? No.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "See, yeah, I mean, that's all I was saying. How's this? Or this? Or this? Or this? Or this?", "c": ["Elaine", "Sam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Can you believe she expected me to squire her around town... while the dude sits at home in swaddling clothes?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "It's like she's put the role of boyfriend into two jobs. Except the dude's playing the showroom... and I'm stuck doing food and beverage.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I cannot do this. So, what's George doing? He's not doing anything. Goodbye.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "The Tony is taking me to Sardi's.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "So, I said to him, 'Arthur, Artie, bubele... why does the salesman have to die? Change the title. The Life of a Salesman. That's what people want to see.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I am smack-dab in the middle of a good old-fashioned catfight.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Crazy for feeling... So lonely", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Hey, what if the two of us teamed up? Not...? No, no. No, because that's... No.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "But maybe the two of us, working together at full capacity... could do the job of one normal man. And each of us would only have to be, like, a half-man.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "But Raquel Welch doesn't move her arms when she tap dances. It's very distracting. There is a lot of this... in tap dancing.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I heard they cut one of her lines. She climbed up a rope on the side of the stage... and started dropping lights on people's heads.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Elaine, I am going to find you. If not in your office, then in the Xerox room... or the small conference room next to the kitchen, or the kitchen.", "c": ["Sam (voicemail)"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other... there's a chance they might somehow kiss.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "About a year ago. Wedding invitations. Right. How did that all work out? No complaints.", "c": ["George", "Store clerk"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "You're fired. You don't use your arms when you tap dance. You're like a gorilla. I gotta go.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "What's the deal with airplane peanuts?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "He Frolfs... he scores!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "What the hell is that? Are you making fun of my dancing? Aren't you Raquel Welch? You know who I am. Now, what are you doing? Nothing. I just wasn't moving my arms.", "c": ["Raquel Welch", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Catfight.", "c": ["Bystander"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "I slipped on the invitations. How's the towels? They're back on the rack. Even with the two of us? I think we're still a man short.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "Apparently, your body was in a state of advanced atrophy... due to a period of extreme inactivity.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "This was supposed to be the Summer of George. The Summer of George.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "The Summer Of George"}, {"t": "You know, I cannot stand this thing anymore. I know, I hate it too. I feel like an out-of-work porn star.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "What if we grew mutton chops? - No. - Buzz cuts? - Parachute pants? - Stop it, George. Stop it.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "With crutches, it's a funny story. With a cane, it's a sad story.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "He's like that fish that attaches himself to the shark. - And you're the shark? - Yeah. I'm the shark.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "I don't know how a fish could eat laughs. Well, I'm glad I brought it up.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "- So, what's this job? - Oh, it's beautiful. It's in sports. - Knicks? Rangers? - Playground equipment.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Well, I guess she's batted around and she's back at the top of the order.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "That guy's coming home in a body bag.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "And tell me what time it is in New York, you are going home in a body bag.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Taking this lace out. It came undone, touched the floor of a men's room. That's the end of that.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Well, I ran out of butter, so I had to borrow yours. Anything else, Mr. Nosy?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Why are you buttering your face? I'm shaving with it. Oh, Moses, smell the roses.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "the natural emollients keep my skin silky smooth. - Feel my face. - No. - No, feel it. - I don't want to. Feel it.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Handicap? Oh, I'm not handicapped. I'm sorry. Differently... Advantaged.", "c": ["George", "Boss"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Jerry, let's face it. I've always been handicapped. I'm just now getting the recognition for it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "There was a guy that worked at the Yankees, no arms. He got more work done than I did... He drove a car with no arms? All right, I made up the part about the car, but the rest is true.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "I love that bathroom. It's got that high toilet. I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "- Who? - The toothbrush in the toilet bowl.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "After dating Jerry, you're a pleasure.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "I mean, the sex was good. Which I'm sure was fine for her... but I need more.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "sometimes I ponder this silly gulf between us... and I say, why? Are we really so different? - For what is broth... - I'm not the one doing the cooking. Damn you, Seinfeld. You useless pustule.", "c": ["Newman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "You know, my last boyfriend, he had a real kroner comprehension problem. You know what I mean? A real cement head.", "c": ["European woman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Oh, stick a fork in me, Jerry. I'm done.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Technically, you're saut\u00e9ed.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "No, I read an article in Bon App\u00e9tit.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "No, I fake limp on my right. This is a real limp because I sprained my ankle.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Oh, like what? Ovaltine? Why do dogs drink out of the toilet? Shopping carts with one bad wheel?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "You like Bania's act. You're a closet Bania fan. - Maybe I am. - Oh, I'm gonna puke. Puke? That's a funny word. Puke.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Please, please. I don't want to get involved. I hope a giant mountain rises out of the ocean and we ram right into it... and end this whole thing.", "c": ["Magnus"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Yeah, now I'm simmering.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "But your cane's on the wrong side... That's just because we're standing on opposite sides... so the image was reversed. Like in a mirror. You see?", "c": ["George", "Boss"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "You mugged Steven Hawking?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "It must comforting to know you'll be going to hell... at no more than three miles an hour.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Shut up or I'll snap you in half and stuff you in the overhead.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "His time has come... We're four months apart. - Nevertheless.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "And what's the deal with cancer? I have cancer. Tough crowd.", "c": ["Jerry", "Audience member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "What you got there, the four volt?", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Turkey? A big, fat turkey.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Look at me. I'm all covered in oregano and parmesan... and it's sticking because of the butter. Look at me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Your legs.", "c": ["Boss"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "I love stuff you don't have to think about. Give us a call. We wanna be in the Kenny Bania business.", "c": ["NBC Executive"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Puke? That's a funny word. Can I use that?", "c": ["Bania"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "Hello. Oh, no. I'm sorry. Oh, no. No!", "c": ["Elaine", "Puddy", "Magnus"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The Butter Shave"}, {"t": "George, you're not really handicapped, are you? / I've had my difficulties.", "c": ["Thomassoulo", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Mr. Thomassoulo, during times of great stress... people are capable of superhuman strength. Have you ever seen The Incredible Hulk, sir?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I don't understand. / We don't like you. We want you to leave. / Clearer.", "c": ["George", "Thomassoulo"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "They signed me to a one-year contract. As long as I show up for work every day, they have to pay me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "He and I started joking that when she falls asleep... her stomach stays awake all night and talks to me. Well, the bellybutton's like a mouth.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I'm bored. Talk to me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Oh, I gotta start taking these 'stupid' warnings more seriously.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "My Puddy? / We broke up. / And yet he continues to live.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "The bump-into, always leads to the backslide.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine. You can't do it in one push. You gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "That's beautiful.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "That's different. I had no feelings for those people.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "At the movies last night, I went to the bathroom and I unbuckled wildly... and the buckle kind of banged against the side of the urinal... so that's it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "So you're insane. / Oh, yes. Quite. / Of course, it's a sliding scale.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "No resources, skill, talent, ability, brains...? / No. No time.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Do you have any idea how much time I waste in this apartment? / I could ballpark it.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Here we go. Now she comes in. My whole day is shot.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "George? / No. No. No. / Well, I was here. That's everyone.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Your hair, it's somewhat depoofed. / Oh, it's the new look, you know? Heroin chic.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Oh, hoochie-moochie.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "People don't just bump into each other and have sex. This isn't Cinemax.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Sex, that's meaningless. I can understand. Dinner, that's heavy. That's an hour.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "2.9-Percent financing on a Toyota one-ton. That was my idea too!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Good morning. / Go to hell. / Hi, Alice. That's a nice dress. / Don't even look at me.", "c": ["George", "coworkers"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "You remember my corporation, Kramerica Industries? / All right. / Yeah, well apparently... NYU is very enthusiastic about their students... getting some real-world corporate experience.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "But you only provide fantasy-world corporate experience.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "That is not a bad idea.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I'm like Hitler's last days here. / I'm invigorated. / I'm like a weed, Jerry. / I thought you're like Hitler in the bunker. / I'm a weed in Hitler's bunker.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I'm uncomfortable with the Hitler stuff.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Hi, this is Darin from Kramer's office. Mr. Kramer would like to schedule lunch with you at Monk's coffee shop.", "c": ["Darin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Hello, Darin, this is Jerry from Jerry's office. We're gonna be three for lunch.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I am not calling Puddy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "What did I do with my gloves? Oh, I bet I left them over at Puddy's. I should call him. I need those gloves. No, I better not. I'll call him. Oh, look at that. There are the gloves. I was just about to call. And there they are. That's funny. That's really funny. That is really, really funny. You know who loves funny stories? David Puddy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "So how hot did it get? / I don't know, 120, 130. / Then they sent some guys in to sandblast for six hours. / Tomorrow, they're putting in asbestos.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I guess you can take anything but actual work. / Bring it on.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "After ordering, Mr. Seinfeld and Mr. Costanza debated... on whether Iron Man wore some sort of undergarment... between his skin and his iron suit.", "c": ["Darin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Then Mr. Seinfeld went to the restroom, at which point... Mr. Costanza scooped ice from Mr. Seinfeld's drink... with his bare hand, and used it to wash up.", "c": ["Darin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "This never happened.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "We've been doing this silly kind of voice. / So you think I'm fat?", "c": ["Jerry", "Claire"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "He's like the Kool-Aid guy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "He is fat. / No. He's just a little bloated. / It's mostly water weight!", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Boysenberry. Kid's still learning.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I love just seeing you and having sex. / Not having to do all that... work. / All that calling you and buying stuff. / Hearing about how everyone at work isn't as smart as you. It's brutal.", "c": ["Puddy", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Get those clothes off. You're spending the night. / We're gonna cuddle. / What?", "c": ["Elaine", "Puddy"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Listen, could you give Mr. Thomassoulo a message for me? Yes. If he needs me, tell him I'm in my office!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Far as I can tell... your enterprise is a little more than a solitary man... with a messy apartment, which may or may not have a chicken.", "c": ["Dean Jones"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "And with Darin's help, we'll get that chicken.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Your fly's open.", "c": ["Dean Jones"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I have to choose between seeing you and doing the voice? / That's right. / I don't know.", "c": ["Jerry", "Claire"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "You broke up with her? Why? / So we could do the voice.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Hello. / I like the girl better than the voice. / Really? Hello.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I've seen you together. You make each other miserable. It's kismet.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I was supposed to pick up Newman at the zoo 12 hours ago.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "That voice is played. / So played.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "What about the tanker bladder system? / We were gonna put an end to maritime oil spills. / Probably.", "c": ["Darin", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "That's half of your entire contract. Please, just go.", "c": ["Thomassoulo"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "George Costanza's handicapped bathroom on the 16th floor... is now open to all employees and their families.", "c": ["Thomassoulo"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Well played. / I'll see you in hell, Costanza.", "c": ["George", "Thomassoulo"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "You have to drink that whole thing? / No, no, no. It's for oil tankers.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Mr. Thomassoulo likes to play dirty. Well, there's nothing dirtier... than a giant ball of oil.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "That was a doozy. / Go again? / Book it.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Listen, David, I've gotta run. Can you lend me 50 bucks?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "That should cover the experiment, the arrest and most of your trial.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Now, let's push this giant ball of oil out the window.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "There's Claire. I better go down. Hey, there's Kramer and Darin. There's the giant ball of oil. Claire's right underneath that thing. Claire. Hello! Hello!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I'm not looking up, if you're going to do that voice.", "c": ["Claire"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Well, that didn't work.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Whatever happened to Darin? / Darin's going away for a long, long time.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "Hello. I got beaned with a giant ball of oil. I'm slippery as an eel.", "c": ["Jerry/Claire's stomach voice"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "You know, why were we fooling ourselves? We belong together. / Elaine, I wanna break up. / Nuts.", "c": ["Elaine", "Puddy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Voice"}, {"t": "I got no legroom back here. Move your seat forward. / It's as far as it goes. / There's a mechanism. You just pull it and throw your body weight.", "c": ["George", "Estelle", "Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Like an animal. Because of her, I have to sit like an animal.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Serenity now! Serenity now!", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Are you supposed to yell it? / The man on the tape wasn't specific.", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Thought we had tickets to the Knicks home opener. / Well, I thought this would be more fun so I gave the tickets away.", "c": ["Jerry", "Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "No, I love a good Chinese- Spanish whatever it is.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "I get peeved. / Mad. / Miffed. / Mad. / Irked?", "c": ["Jerry", "Patty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Good body.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Not really. Your voice kind of raises to this comedic pitch.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Kramer, I am so sick of you coming in here and eating all of my food. Now, shut that door and get the hell out of here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "What is that, a new bit?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Sorry, I'm fixing a screen door in the Bronx. / I'll do it. / Really, you wanna come? / Yeah, I love going to the country.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "You know, if you don't bring a guest, they save on catering. Should be able to buy a cheaper gift. / Oh, I don't think that's possible.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Might be time to just let her go, Frank. She's worked hard for you. / Will you put her to rest for me? / Oh, yeah. / I'll take good care of her.", "c": ["Kramer", "Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "You're selling computers? / Two months ago, I saw a provocative movie on cable TV. It was called The Net, with that girl from the bus.", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Dad, do you know what it takes to compete with Microsoft and IBM? / Yes, I do. That's why I've got a secret weapon. / My son.", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "One percent? They can kiss one percent of my ass.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "You're damn right you're not buying it. / You shouldn't have to try. It's just being open. / I'm open. There's just nothing in there.", "c": ["Jerry", "Patty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Oh, you think I'm lying? / I think you are. / Well, I'm not. / Yes, you are. Liar. / Oh, stop it. / Okay, liar.", "c": ["Jerry", "Patty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "That was good. / Really? It felt good.", "c": ["Patty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "I'm a man.", "c": ["Adam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Tongue? / Yeah. / I didn't try that till I was 23.", "c": ["Adam", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Well, this kid's not just a man, he's a man's man. / And I think he's been telling his friends. I got invitations to six more bar mitzvahs.", "c": ["Lippman", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm flying first class. / Where did that come from? / Patty showed me how to get mad. You got a problem with that? / No. / Good.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "The two of you working in that garage is like a steel- cage death match.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "The cool evening breezes of Anytown, U.S.A.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "I'm not Dad in the work place. My professional name is Mr. Costanza... and I will refer to you as Costanza.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "All I ever heard growing up is: 'Why can't you be more like Lloyd Braun?' You know he was in a mental institution? / I didn't read his r\u00e9sum\u00e9.", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "What is this? / This is your lagging. / Good work, Braun.", "c": ["George", "Frank", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "You are 13 and I am in my early 20s. / But I'm a man. The rabbi said so. / No, you are not a man. It takes a long time to become a man. I mean, half my friends aren't even there yet.", "c": ["Elaine", "Adam", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Well, if I'm not a man, then this whole thing was a sham. First he said I was gonna get great gifts... and then somebody gives me Boggle. I renounce my religion.", "c": ["Adam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Starting tonight, we're having a little sales contest. The loser gets fired, the winner gets a Waterpik. / You're not giving away our Waterpik!", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "I guess your mother was right. You never could compete with Lloyd Braun.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "You want to sell computers? I will show you how to sell computers.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Hello, Mr. Finerman. You wanna buy a computer? No? Why not? All right, I see. Good answer. Thank you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Look at your father. It takes time, patience, experience... several careers of varying success.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "What is this? / Anytown, U.S.A.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Hello, neighbour. Boy, those azaleas are really coming in nicely. Oh, you gotta mulch. You've got to. You barbecuing tonight? Right after the fireworks.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Again? How much flan can a person eat? / Jerry, you've been yelling at me all afternoon. / Well, I don't think more flan is the answer.", "c": ["Jerry", "Patty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Maybe? / Goodbye. / Double goodbye.", "c": ["Jerry", "Patty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Hey, buddy. Hey, happy New Year. Y'all come back real...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "What is this salty discharge? Oh, my God, you're crying. This is horrible. I care.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "You let out one emotion, all the rest will come with it. It's like Endora's box. / That was the mother on Bewitched. You mean Pandora. / Yeah, well, she had one too.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "That's it. That's it, I warned you kids. I told you not to play in front of my house. This time, I'm keeping it. And you're not getting your rock back either. Hall urchins.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "You could check porn and stock quotes. Porn quotes.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "I love you, George. / What? / I love you, George. / Come here. / I'm already here. I'm here. I'm here.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "When I give you the signal, turn this water on full blast. / Signal? What signal? / I don't know, I'll yell hoochie mama.", "c": ["Kramer", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Hoochie mama. Hoochie mama. Hoochie mama.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "You've got shiks-appeal. / What? / It means non-Jewish woman. / I know what it means. But what does being a shiksa have to do with it? / Jewish men love a woman that's not like their mother.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "I renounce Judaism.", "c": ["Lippman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Serenity now. Serenity now. Serenity now.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "What are you looking at? / Sit down, Elaine. / Oh, no, Jerry, I can't take any more gentle sobbing.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Look at us, hurtling through space on this big blue marble. Or a nectarine. I would love a nectarine. Looking everywhere for some kind of meaning. Why am I in such a fruit mood? Banana.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "I'm asking Elaine to marry me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Oh, hello, Mr. Vandelay. Would you like to buy a computer? Oh, really? Two dozen.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "You know, you should tell your dad that 'serenity now' thing doesn't work. It just bottles up the anger and then, eventually... you blow. / What do you know? / You were in the nut house. / What do you think put me there?", "c": ["Lloyd", "George", "Lloyd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Serenity now... insanity later.", "c": ["Lloyd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Eggs, you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Serenity now! Why couldn't you squeeze one of those stupid rubber balls... to get your stress out? Why did you have to destroy 25 computers?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Sure, I'm not funny anymore... but there's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Elaine, shiks-appeal is a myth. Like the yeti... or his North American cousin, the Sasquatch.", "c": ["Rabbi"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "You know, a member of my congregation... has a time- share in Myrtle Beach. Perhaps if you're not too busy... we could wing on down after the High Holidays.", "c": ["Rabbi"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "All of my darkest fears... and everything I'm capable of. That's me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Maybe we should get married. Maybe everything we need is right here in front of us. Jer, let's do it. / I tell you, I don't see it happening.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "What happened to the new Jerry? / He doesn't work here anymore.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "I love you, Jerry. / Right back at you, slick.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Well, that's because you're an idiot.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Well, what about all the Lloyd Braun sales? / He was crazy. His phone wasn't even hooked up. He just liked ringing that bell.", "c": ["George", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "So, what am I supposed to say? / Hoochie mama.", "c": ["Frank", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Hoochie mama. Hoochie mama.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "The Serenity Now"}, {"t": "Poor Marvin Kessler. He went too early. He was 96 years old. That had nothing to do with it. The man was out of shape.", "c": ["Jerry's father"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "We walk once around the block three times a week. And every morning I eat a plum.", "c": ["Jerry's mother"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Yeah, looks like you're getting a little spare tire there, tiger.", "c": ["Jerry's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "No, no. The luggage is on the program. I got a brick in here.", "c": ["Jerry's father"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Did you give blood? No, no, not giving. Hoarding. I'm storing it at the blood bank, just in case.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Jerry, I know myself. If I'm out on the street and it starts to go down... I don't back off until it's finished.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Well, I'm glad I got to see him before he hit puberty and got... you know, all lurchy and awkward.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Do I know anyone? If you think of anybody, give me a call.", "c": ["Elaine", "Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Oh, incense. For the mood. Oh, yes, by all means. The mood. Let me know if there's anything I can do to lend support for the mood.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Who wants to be responsible? Whenever anything goes wrong... the first thing they ask is, 'Who's responsible for this?'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "She lit this vanilla incense. The smell drove me nuts. All I could think about was food. I had to get out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Told her I had a bus transfer that was only good for another hour.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Hey, you guys think I'm getting a little chunky? What? Are you kidding? We look great.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "I think you're getting a little pudding under the skin yourself.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll just take my blood elsewhere, yeah... Oh, no, no. No more banks. I'm keeping my blood in my freezer... with my money!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Your pastrami on rye with mustard... Pastrami on rye with mustard? Don't you remember they--? They used pastrami in that movie, 9 1/2 Weeks... Well, maybe it was Ghostbusters.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "So she didn't appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted-cured meats.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Sex is about love between a man and a woman, not a man and a sandwich.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "What the hell is that? Pudding skin singles.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "You know, for a fat guy, you're not very jolly.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Don't be ridiculous. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go fill my freezer with my own blood.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "You're out. I'm in. Now, hit the road.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "You're dead, President Lincoln. You're dead. I wish I was dead.", "c": ["Jimmy", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Oh, handful of sunshine. I wish I could do this every day.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "You got three pints of Kramer in you, buddy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "I can feel his blood inside of me. Borrowing things from my blood.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Yesterday I had a soft-boiled egg and a quickie.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Scissor mishap, air show disaster, Chinese organ thieves.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "And disappointed, blood brother.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Would you like a kidney too? Because I'll give it to you. I'll rip it out right here and smack it on the table.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Tell him to eat a plum.", "c": ["Jerry's father"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "So grab your jock if you need one. It's go time.", "c": ["Mr. Mandelbaum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "And then he put this plastic bag over his head... and started running around until he got tired... and he laid down somewhere.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Drop your purse, honey... and pick up that medicine ball.", "c": ["Mr. Mandelbaum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "All aboard the pain train.", "c": ["Mr. Mandelbaum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Pleasuring you.", "c": ["Tara", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Don't lie to me, butterbean.", "c": ["Mr. Mandelbaum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "I flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "You've combined food and sex into one disgusting, uncontrollable urge.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Sleepy here's quite a weasel. Maybe he can bat for you... Yeah. That's what I need. A pinch weasel.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Well, it's all for charity, so, what's the difference?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted-cured meats.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "If you wanna live in a butcher shop... I'm gonna treat you like a piece of meat.", "c": ["Mr. Mandelbaum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Well, for the first quarter-mile they thought I was just dogging it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Hello, Jerry.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "The Blood"}, {"t": "Couldn't get Kramer's blood out of it? No. The engine clotted.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "He was the summer me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "I made him up.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "So you never saw Last Tango in Paris? No. Too bad, it was erotic.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Well, I've had it with these jack-booted thugs. Pottery Barn?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Mira Sorvino. Think she'd go out with me?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.28, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "And now, it's payback time. Pottery Barn is in for a world of hurt.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "I need a couple of anecdotes, a few you-were-right-abouts. It's a whole procedure.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "They gave me a new car for 30 minutes of: 'So who's from out of town?'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Delish. You know, short for delicious. Oh, like scrump.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Chinese food. Sorry, George, our Chinese food just came. Talk to you later.", "c": ["George's mother"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "After dark? Please. At their age that's like swallowing stun grenades.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "You and Puddy and this new guy in a big pot of love stew.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "I won't fire him until I see if this new guy can handle the workload.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Stop the mail? That's even better.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "We were 10.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "When we were in camp, if you upset him he'd run into the woods, dig a hole, and sit in it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "If this van's a-rocking, don't come a-knocking.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.22, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "It's creative black tie.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Nice captain's chairs, huh? Aye, aye.", "c": ["Frankie", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Hold on. There must be a truck backing up. No, that's us.", "c": ["Jerry", "Frankie"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Rain and sleet may not stop them. But let's see them get by these bricks.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Jerry, the whole building is brick.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "I don't think I wanna meet the people that are in the market for a used van.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "A big juicy van.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "It's all about tickling their buying bone.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no. I don't think you get me. I want out. Permanently.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "E-mail, telephones, fax machines, FedEx, Telex, telegrams. Holograms.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "But you don't know the half of what goes on here. So just walk away, Kramer. I beg of you.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "The breakups, the firings, and every Sunday with the calls.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna make love to your mother.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "You remember my cousin, Rhisa? I'm gonna date her.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Nobody beats me because I'm the Wiz. Yes. I'm the Wiz. I'm the Wiz.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "It's not much, but it has a certain kind of quiet dignity.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Nobody beats me because I'm the Wiz. Oh, no. Oh, yes.", "c": ["Jack", "Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "I know it may sound shocking but I just can't stop myself from wanting you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Let's be bad, George. Let's be really bad.", "c": ["Rhisa"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "You wanna trade me an undershirt? No, I want to trade you screen legend Anthony Quinn's undershirt.", "c": ["Van buyer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "He took this off to do sit-ups in the park and I nabbed it.", "c": ["Van buyer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "What if we're out somewhere and you see the Maytag Repairman?", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "He's the Wiz. And nobody beats him. Nobody.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Why does this dummy have a bucket on his head? Because we're blind to their tyranny. Shouldn't you be wearing the bucket?", "c": ["Passerby", "Kramer", "Passerby"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Shouldn't you be wearing the bucket?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "I'm in the van kissing his brother's daughter.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "A mail truck will slow beside you, the door will open. A mailman you know, maybe even trust, will offer to give you a lift.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "There's another way. It's going down now! No, you said a mailman I know, and you're a mailman I know. I know you know, but you don't know what I know.", "c": ["Newman", "Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Is this Seinfeld's van? Seinfeld's van. Seinfeld's van. I think he's saying Son of Sam.", "c": ["Frank", "George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Oh, here's a fact. I'm the Wiz.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Hoochie mama.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "I even had to cancel a round of golf with the secretary of state.", "c": ["Postmaster General"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "An army of men in wool pants, running through the neighbourhood handing out pottery catalogues door to door.", "c": ["Postmaster General"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "That van's a-rocking. Then don't go a-knocking.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "What you saw in the van was a natural expression of a man's love for his lady.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Junk Mail"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know, Cain slew Abel. No, he didn't. They were in business together. Dry wall or something.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Well, I think Abel worked hard all summer harvesting his crops... while Cain just played in the field. Then when winter came, Abel had all the nuts, Cain had no nuts.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "The way I remember it, Cain, he was a successful doctor... but when he took this special formula, he became Mr. Abel.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Yeah. Well, I was trying to make gravel and it just... It just didn't work out.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Well, I like the sound it makes when you walk on it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "This stuff belongs in the Smithsonian. Or at least in the Dumpster behind the Smithsonian.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Boy, one minute Elliott Gould is sitting on you... and the next thing you're yesterday's trash.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "You know, I spilled a yogurt smoothie in here two days ago.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "George, watch out for those pigeons. Oh, they'll get out of the way. You really smell banana?", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "You're making this up. There was never a Joseph Garnish.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "I inherited them after he died from a long, painful bout with... SuperBall.", "c": ["Celia"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "They've never been played with. I just wanna touch them a little.", "c": ["Celia", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Hey, your coffee stain looks like Fidel Castro. You've been an enormous help.", "c": ["Elaine", "Walter"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Don't we have a deal with the pigeons? Of course we have a deal. They get out of the way of cars... we look the other way on the statue defecation.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "So he just sidles up? That's right. He's a real sidler.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "I was sitting making Cup-a-Soup... singing that song from The Lion King. 'Hakuna Matata'? I thought I was alone.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "To me, the 'Hakuna Matata' is not nearly as embarrassing... as the Cup-a-Soup.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Oh, you just bring it in sideways and hook it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "A lot of the stars from the '70s... they were not as hygienic as they appeared on TV. You take Mannix, for example.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Is it possible you're even more beautiful... than the last time I saw you?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "I'm reading the fascinating article... on the most fascinating people of the year. And done.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "An Army Pete. He was made of wood, in the rain he would swell up and then split.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "And we all know how painful that can be.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Excuse me? Yeah, we're talking this way.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Now, for those of us who don't know, sidling is what?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "You sidle? You stomp around like a Clydesdale.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Not with these honeys. Wrestling shoes. Only in New York.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "What happened? I'll ask the questions.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Now, you and Jerry dated for a while. Tell us... what was that like?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "So they're like everyone else.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Then why don't you just run it over too?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "What pigeon? You drove right into that squirrel.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Squirrel? Well, we have no deal with them.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "'Will not cause drowsiness.' 'May cause drowsiness.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, I am also disgusted.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Mission accomplished. Back to base, Joe.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Well, it's by the pound, so about 80 cents.", "c": ["Veterinarian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "So they're flying the tiny instruments in from El Paso.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "El Paso. I spent a month there one night.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "You mean to say that you drugged a woman... so you could take advantage of her toys?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "What you do with your personal life is your business. But when you're on my set, you clean it up, mister.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "You're spontaneous. You're symmetrical.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Thanks, Elaine. You're such a super lady.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Four hours.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "You know, I rip off the label... I can hardly tell the difference. We've officially bottomed out.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Your home, Mr. Costanza. Just make sure he gets his medicine six times a day... and keep his tail elevated.", "c": ["Veterinarian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "It's not a pet. It's a wild invalid. And it knows that I tried to kill it. As soon as it gets better, it's gonna gnaw my brain out in my sleep.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "He's a human maraca.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "You step on it and it fushes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "That reminds me of the Haitian voodoo rattle torture. You haven't gone over to their side, have you?", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Because if I hear one more rattle, just one, you're out on your can. And if you are undead... l'll find out about that too.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "The only gum I liked came with the Mickey Mouse gumball machine. They stopped making that 20 years ago. Well, stinky, this is your lucky day.", "c": ["Lou", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "It was great. I've done it a few more times since then.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "What is this? What is she doing here? What? It's the new format. Scandals and animals.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Well, what kind of woman drinks an entire box of wine?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "No, you idiot. Hawks eat squirrels.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Well, at least we know that prosthetic squirrel hips work.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Oh, go ahead, pigeons. Laugh it up. I'm getting in my car now, and the last I heard, we have no deal.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Oh, well, hey, I dated Jerry too. I know what a monster he can be.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Merv Griffin Show"}, {"t": "Does that mean I have to go too? Well, you don't think she's just talking to me. - Hey, shut up. - You shut up.", "c": ["Jerry", "George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "It's like a rugby scrum.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "And to the bathroom.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Well, at the Yankees, it was all about smoothing things over... you know, chiselling away, grinding down. In fact, we used to call it the grind.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "That should be a 14. Let me just...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "But what the hell, we need someone, huh? You won't regret this, sir. I don't care.", "c": ["Kruger", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Yeah. Seems reasonable.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Even more reasonable.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "They botched the Statue of Liberty job. Right. They couldn't get the green stuff off.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Remember the photo of me and Gerald Ford and I took it in? Got that Ford right out of there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Everywhere you go they always give you these misshaped, shoddy meats. Look, look, look. I haven't had a decent sandwich in 13 years. Neither have I.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Welcome to flavour country.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Your whole building smells like potatoes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "You know, that happened to Lomez, so he blew his neighbour's circuit.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Just let me finish this mile-high and I'll be right with you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Oh, mama. Are you okay? I'm gonna lose that nail.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Is it anything like hitting a homer in softball? No. Because I hit a whomper last week.", "c": ["Jerry", "Sara"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Thought you said you wanted to be out. But I'm still here. You took out the other guy.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "You've really lost a lot of hair. I am aware.", "c": ["Airbrusher", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "The cat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Well, he moved into a motel and the cat eventually died.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "How was the doctor date? It died on the table.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Saving lives? The whole profession is, 'Just put some aloe on it.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Dermatologists. Skin doesn't need a doctor. Of course not. Wash it, dry it, move on.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "So you've done this? Almost. Couldn't get the girl to go out with me a second time.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "How'd you know you cut it? Well, I guess I just assumed.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "It must take a really, really big zit to kill a man.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "You call yourself life saver. I call you Pimple Popper, M.D.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "I had skin cancer. Skin cancer. Damn.", "c": ["Patient", "Sara", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "He looks like a 'Peanuts' character.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Someone's gotta unhook the boat before it leaves the place.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "I got a piece of my heel stuck in the slicer.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "I got a little slicer-happy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Oh, no clowns. I don't like clowns. The clowns.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Was it Pimple Popper, M.D? That's the one. Still got it.", "c": ["Sara", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Wow, that's a lot of potatoes.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Jerry, as the Bible says, 'Thou who cureth can maketh ill.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Find this woman, tell her you're not a test-tube pincushion.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "I want the antidote, Pimple Popper.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Freckle's ugly cousin.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "George, why would I, a Juilliard-trained dermatologist, send him to another doctor?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "No, but he thinks I am and I won't betray that trust.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "You're not taking a deli slicer to my boss.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "A real dermatologist?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Caused by exposure to benzene, a common ingredient in metal cleaners.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "It was Dr. Van Nostrand.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "What a pear-shaped loser.", "c": ["Kruger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "Well, I'll be. You have lost a lot of hair.", "c": ["Kruger"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "He said he didn't care. God, I love that place.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "What'd he give you for it? Aloe.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Slicer"}, {"t": "So, Elaine, are you gonna sleep with me or what?", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "I'm too tired to even vomit at the thought.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "I'm sure she'll come around.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "You can stuff your sorries in a sack.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "You know, I didn't go to the bathroom the entire time we were in India.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "And I gotta tell you, it was very mechanical.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "I don't know what that means.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "And by the way, you can take off those boots. Everyone knows you're 5'6\".", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "5'8\". 5'7\". See?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "That's got to hurt. I don't care where you're from.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Oh, hello, tetanus.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "No, no, no. I can walk it off. It's 120 degrees in here. I'll sweat it out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Are those Timberlands... painted black?", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Where'd you get that one? It's an expression.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "That doesn't punish me. It punishes Elaine. And cruelly, I might add.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Thank you, FDR.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "I win, I don't drop dead and I get 100 percent anti-drop-dead protection. Forever.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "What, you want my kidney?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "You know you're not supposed to drink while you're keeping a secret.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Pinter? He used to be called Peter.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Jugdish.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "What if I got my nose pierced? That would be pretty freaky.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Good night, Jugdish.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "I saw the same shooting star and I double-wished you to drop dead.", "c": ["FDR"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "All right, I'm triple-wishing. Yeah, fair enough. I'm quadruple-wishing.", "c": ["Kramer", "FDR"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "I think it's the stench of death.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "I mean, not even Pinter's parents and they're Indian.", "c": ["Sue Ellen"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Come on, Sue Ellen, you don't wear a bra... you're tall. We hate each other.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "With whom there are no secrets. Like this... since fourth grade. Didn't I beat you up in fourth grade?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "You already told me everything. Okey-dokey.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "You know he's a postman, don't you?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Spite never sleeps. Especially when you got a layover in Sarajevo.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Why do you keep saying Nina? I don't know. Nina. Nina.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "They're meaningless.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Your invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, this drawer is filled with Froot Loops. So what? And milk.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "You know, it's the only country that still has the plague. I mean, the plague. Please.", "c": ["Pinter's father"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "If I had to go to India, I wouldn't go to the bathroom the entire trip. That's fantastic.", "c": ["Pinter's father", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "I know. No awkward pauses. Probably the reason we never fooled around. Yeah. Probably the reason.", "c": ["Nina", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "That's just a silly superstition.", "c": ["FDR"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "So you think it's a non-vite. It's an un-vitation.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Hey, are you getting taller? Timberlands.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "How engrossing? If we had a problem with Elaine... we could bring in Nina and not lose a step.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "I can't have a drop-down. We're eye to eye. I can't go eye to chin.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "5'8\". 5'7\".", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Yeah, you stuff your sorries in a sack, mister.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "Good night, Jugdish.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Betrayal"}, {"t": "She ate breakfast naked? She didn't even want a napkin.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "I've had bedroom naked, I've had walk-to-the-bathroom naked. I have never had living-room naked.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Did she...? Did she frolic? I don't have enough room.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "'Stanky' Hanke? What did he want?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Still with the neck hole?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "I said, preferably cashmere. For warmth.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Well, it's funny. I mean, you have a big head.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "I really think it's the size of your neck. It's my head.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "That's kooky talk.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Let me smell you. All right. Whiff away.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "The damage is probably already done.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "I'd accuse you of cheating, but where would you hide the tiles?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "It's like watching a fat guy catch a cannonball in his stomach in slow motion.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Naked hair brushing, good. Naked crouching, bad.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Well, I just got out of a 27-minute shower. I made some good cuts and I didn't lose anything I needed.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Well, that's how cats do it. But when you have a faucet instead of a tongue... you wanna use gravity.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "I'm so sorry that I didn't want your rather bulbous head struggling to find its way into the normal-size neck hole of my finely knit sweater.", "c": ["Jason Hanke"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "That wasn't really necessary. I don't ride it. It's just for show.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Please don't crouch.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Peggy, we gotta talk. What is it about me that you find so offensive?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "You want an apology for the apology plus the original apology? That's right. I'm two in the hole.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Where am I gonna get a fat guy and a cannonball?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "I ordered a pair of chinos from J. Crew.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "She thinks I made her sick because I coughed on her doorknob, rubbed her stapler in my armpit and put her keyboard on my butt. Yeah. She's a wacko.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Instead of an apology he was bebopping and scatting all over me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "No, not that. Why are you naked? I thought naked is good. This isn't good naked.", "c": ["Melissa", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Am I talking to you, pinhead? Am I?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "The male body is utilitarian. It's for getting around. It's like a Jeep.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "It's hideous. The hair, the lumpiness. It's simian.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "I still have trouble looking at those disgusting old bedroom slippers she slobs around in. Hey, I've had those since college. They're bunnies.", "c": ["Puddy", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "You have a garbage disposal in your bathtub? Oh, yeah, and I use it all the time. I made this whole meal in there.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "This food was in the shower with you? I prepared it as I bathed.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.67, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "Take a look at his neck, not to mention the melon sitting on top of it. I don't know if I'd trust him with a V-neck.", "c": ["Anonymous group member"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "The Apology"}, {"t": "So Whatley's still Jewish, huh? Sure, without the parents, it's a breeze.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "This place is like Studio 54 with a menorah.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Spell's out 'No Elaine.' Isn't that eight letters? The extra E is for...", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "You might not know it to look at me, but I can run really, really fast.", "c": ["Denim Vest guy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Nice vest. I like the big metal buttons. They're snaps.", "c": ["Jerry", "Denim Vest guy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Great, I'm going out with her tomorrow night. Great. Ate the entire platter.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Hey, I work for Kruger Industrial Smoothing. 'We don't care and it shows.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "'Have you seen me?' Nope.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "I got him Yankee tickets. He's saying, 'I gave your gift to someone else.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Twenty-four stamps and I become a submarine captain. What does that mean? Free sub.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Dear son, happy Festivus.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "His father hated all the commercial religious aspects of Christmas. He made up his own holiday.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "And another piece of the puzzle falls into place.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I bet I wrote that fake number on the back of it when I gave it to Denim Vest.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "I've eaten 23 bad subs. I just need one more. It's like a long bad movie, but you wanna see the end of it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "No, no, no. They're not cloning sheep. It's the same sheep. I saw Harry Blackstone do that trick with two goats and a handkerchief on the old Dean Martin Show.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "What strike? H & H Bagels. You worked? Bagels?", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Yeah, we've been on strike for 12 years.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "H & H wouldn't let us use their bathroom while we were picketing. Kind of put a cramp in our solidarity.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "5.35 an hour, and that's what they're paying now. I believe that's the new minimum wage. And now you know who to thank for that.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Didn't any of the other guys come back? No. I'm sure they all got other jobs like 10 years ago.", "c": ["Kramer", "Manager"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "All right. Toss me an apron. Let's bagel.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "I never thought I'd live to see that.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Hey, Charlie, guess who's here. Elaine Benes. Elaine Benes? Elaine Benes.", "c": ["Manager", "Charlie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "You make a lot of man friends. You know who's a man? Charlie here. He's a man. You know who else? Me. I'm a man.", "c": ["Manager", "Charlie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "And tell you what, put a sawbuck on Captain Nemo in the third at Belmont.", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "She's a two-face. Like the Batman villain? If that helps you.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "The Human Fund. Money for people.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "It has a certain understated stupidity.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Yeah, they're day-olds. The homeless won't even touch them. We try to fool them by putting a few fresh ones on top, but they dig, they test.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Happy Festivus, Georgie.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Frank invented a holiday? He's so prolific.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "What happened to the doll? It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born.", "c": ["Kramer", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "A Festivus for the rest of us.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "That must have been some kind of doll. She was.", "c": ["Kramer", "Frank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "And at the Festivus dinner you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "No. Instead there's a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "You're infringing on my right to celebrate new holidays. That's not a right. Well, it's going to be, because I'm going back on strike.", "c": ["Kramer", "Manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "She was like a 3-D baseball card that changes depending on the angle.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "So one minute she's pretty and at the plate, and the next she's ugly and advancing the runners.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Lights out.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "I know, I cut the button off and poked a hole.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "You don't need glasses. You're just weak. You're weak. Leave him alone.", "c": ["Frank", "Estelle", "Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Lady, if you want a sandwich, I'll make you a sandwich. I want the one that I earned.", "c": ["Manager", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "I sabotaged the bagel machine last night. It's going down.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "I think I could be a philanthropist. A kick-ass philanthropist.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Then they would come to me and beg. And if I felt like it, I would help them out, and then they would owe me bigtime.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Yamahama, it's fright night.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't know who you really are, but I've seen Jerry's girlfriend and she's not you. You're much better-looking and like a foot taller.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Oh, he's a tomcat.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "A fake number. Blimey.", "c": ["Denim Vest"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Well, sir, I gave out the fake card because I don't really celebrate Christmas. I celebrate Festivus.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "And I was afraid that I would be persecuted for my beliefs. They drove my family out of Bayside, sir.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "It's made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Damnedest thing. Me and Charlie were calling to ask you out, and we got this bagel place. I told them I was just about to see you. It's a Festivus miracle.", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're gonna hear about it.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe... I lost my train of thought.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "I guess this is the ugly girl I've been hearing about.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Hey, I was in a shvitz for six hours. Give me a break.", "c": ["Gwen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "How did my horse do? He had to be shot.", "c": ["Manager", "Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "This year the honour goes to Mr. Kramer.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Frank, no offence, but this holiday's a little... out there.", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Until you pin me, George, Festivus is not over.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "Stop crying and fight your father.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "This is the best Festivus ever.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "The Strike"}, {"t": "When are they gonna have the flying cars? Yeah, they have been promising that. Years. When we were kids it seemed like it was around the corner.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "I think Ed Begley Jr. has one. No, that's just electric.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "The government is very touchy about us being in the air. Let us run on the ground much as we want. Anything in the air is a big production.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Would you stop it? You'll have plenty of time to destroy it after I get it.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Hey, George, I'm buying this car. What is wrong with you? You never tell them you like the car.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "That vein again.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Easy move. Go from screwing you behind your back... to screwing you right to your face.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "They stick you with the undercoating, rustproofing, dealer prep. Suddenly you're on your back like a turtle.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Next thing I know, I'm getting dropped off in a Le Car with a fabric sunroof. All the kids are shouting at me, 'Hey, Le George. Bonjour, Le George. Let's stuff Le George in Le Locker.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Maybe I should talk to him. Oh, I don't think so. No, he's an entertainer. You know, all over the place. That's where I come in. I see. So you're his manag...? Neighbour. That's right.", "c": ["Rick", "Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Look at these salesmen. The only thing these guys fear is the walkout. No matter what they say, you say: 'I'll walk out of here right now.' Can I help you with something? Hold it. One more step and we're walking!", "c": ["George", "Salesman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "My new salesman boyfriend took me out to celebrate his promotion. Oh, where'd you go? To a restaurant. Arby's.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "I had the roast beef.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "So I decided I'm gonna go with a 900 convertible. All right, classic. High-five.", "c": ["Jerry", "Puddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Well, it's a test drive, right? I never drive around here. If I'm gonna recommend this car... I need to see that it'll handle my daily routine. Well, where're we going? Just a little place I like to call 'You'll See.'", "c": ["Kramer", "Rick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "If you have to speak, mumble. Au revoir, Le George. Don't think it can't happen.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Puddy, this is a pretty good move for you. No more grease monkey. I don't care for that term. Oh, sorry, I didn't know. I don't know too many monkeys who could take apart a fuel injector.", "c": ["Jerry", "Puddy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "I saw one that could do sign language. Yeah, I saw that one. Koko. Yeah, Koko. Right. Koko. That chimp's all right. High-five.", "c": ["Jerry", "Puddy"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. What's going on here? You didn't agree to anything. No, we both just saw the same monkey.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Hey, where's Puddy? The copy machine is broken. That's what they want you to think.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Slapping hands is the lowest form of male primate ritual. In fact, some of them have moved on. They're doing sign language now. It's that bad? What do you think the Nazis were doing? That was the heil-five.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Isn't that from your act, like, 10 years ago? It was a good bit in the '80s, and it's still relatable today.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Good news, we got a 900 in black. That's the hot colour. High-five.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "When your wallet was open, I glanced inside... and I couldn't help but notice that you have several crisp dollar bills. You're incorrect.", "c": ["George", "Mechanic"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "I guess everyone here enjoys giving the old scroogie, huh? You're all doing a hell of a job.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Hey, ladies. It's a Saab 900. What do you think? Can I interest you in a little supplemental restraint?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "People drop change down here, Jerry. And they're too lazy to pick it up. Either that or they've got a weird little hang-up about lying face down in filth.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "He's got a live one. He's just reeling this big fish in.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Hey, could I have my dollar back? It's wrinkled. It's worthless.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Well, just one more errand and we can head back. Actually, it looks like we're gonna need some gas. Well, how much gas you think is in there right now? Well, it's on E.", "c": ["Kramer", "Rick"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Hey, it's gone. Where is my Twix? That guy's eating it. How do you know that one's yours? It was dangling. There were two left in the machine. He must have bought one and gotten both.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "High-five. On the flip side. David, l... Don't leave me hanging.", "c": ["Puddy", "Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "You're a salesman now. The high-five is... It's very grease monkey. What did I tell you about that? I'm sorry. But the high-five is just so stupid. Oh, yeah? I'll tell you what's stupid. You, stupid.", "c": ["Elaine", "Puddy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "High-five, on the flip side.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Keys? How are you gonna start it?", "c": ["Jerry", "Puddy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "First of all, it wasn't a Twix. It was a 5th Avenue bar. You must think I'm pretty stupid. That's no 5th Avenue bar. I can see the crumb in the corner of your lip. Now, that is a cookie and we all know that Twix is the only candy bar with the cookie crunch.", "c": ["Mechanic", "George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Nougat? Please. I think I've reached a point in my life where I can tell between nougat and cookie. So let's not just say things that we both know are obvious fabrications.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "You know you're getting a little vein there? I know about the vein. This guy.", "c": ["Mechanic", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "There's no law in this place. Anything goes. It's Thunderdome.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Well, I almost did once and I blacked out. When I came to the car was in a ditch and the tank was full. I don't know who did it. And I never got to thank them.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "George. Vein it up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "I'm starving. I can feel my stomach sucking up against my spine.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Oh, I never felt so alive. All right, I'm satisfied. We better get some gas. What? Well, we can't stop now. What do you mean? We have to keep going to the dealership. That was the plan.", "c": ["Kramer", "Rick"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Let's just go for it like Thelma and Louise. They drove to a dealership? No, they drove off a cliff.", "c": ["Kramer", "Rick"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "You are one sick mama. I like it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "You know, just that you cared enough to call means so much, Jerry.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Yeah, right. I'm gonna get my car repaired at a dealership. Why don't I just flush my money down the toilet?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "I caught him and his face was covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs. I thought you said it was a Twix? Oh, it was. But he claimed it was a 5th Avenue bar. Maybe it was. Oh, no. No. Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch.", "c": ["George", "Manager"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "All I want is my 75 cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Twix has too much coconut. No, there's no coconut! I'm allergic to coconut. I'm not.", "c": ["Manager's father", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Clearly, no one else can stand to be with either one of you. I guess. Good point.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine", "Puddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Now, what do I have to do to put you two in a relationship today?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "When that car rolls into that dealership and that tank is bone-dry, I want you to be there with me when everyone says, 'Kramer and that other guy... they went farther to the left of the slash than anyone ever dreamed.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "That took you an hour? Only I hold the answer key to their true candy identities.", "c": ["Manager", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Hey, Willie, check it out, free candy. That's my candy lineup. Where are my cards? They're all on the floor.", "c": ["Employee", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Like, eight Twix? No. Hey, this Clark bar is good. It's a Twix. They're all Twix. It was a setup. A setup, I tell you. And you've robbed it. You've all screwed me again.", "c": ["Employee", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "Twix!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "We did it. We pulled it off. I can't believe it. Where's the needle? Oh, it broke off, baby.", "c": ["Rick", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "You couldn't just give him one high-five? And where does it end? Then everyone's doing it. It's like the wave at ball games. Air quotes. The phrase, 'Don't go there.' Someone's gotta take a stand.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "I don't know. All of them, they're all crooks. I couldn't get all different candy bars anyway.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "A nickel.", "c": ["Manager's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "The Dealership"}, {"t": "I just told you it was hot. Why did you touch it? / I just wanted to know what your idea of hot is.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Why are you wearing that? / It's my winter coat. / A fur? Is there a problem?", "c": ["Elaine", "Puddy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "So Puddy wears a man fur?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "He was strutting around the coffee shop like Stein Eriksen.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "This is more about hanging off the arm of an idiot.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "We gotta give presents to people for moving? Birthdays, Christmas, it's enough gifts. I would like one month off.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Cheapness is not a sense.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "I turned that mother out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "What? Has Newman got another Army man stuck in his ear?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "To prevent an ambush. / Yeah. Now, I can peek in and see if anyone is waiting to jack me with a sock full of pennies.", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Our policy is we're comfortable with our bodies. If somebody wants to help themselves to an eyeful, well, we say enjoy the show.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I can't stay for the second act.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Nobody carries wallets anymore. I mean they went out with powdered wigs.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "That's a five.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Important things go in a case. You got a skull for your brain, a plastic sleeve for your comb and a wallet for your money.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "You got more cow here than here. [pointing at wallet vs. coat]", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Irish money? / I might go there.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Show this card at any participating Orlando area Exxon station to get your free Save the Tiger poster.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "I'm homeless. I'm gonna be out on the street, dancing for nickels. I'll be with the hobos eating out of a bucket.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "The very fact that you oppose this makes me think I'm onto something.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Can you do me a favor and stay by the phone in case anybody calls and needs directions? / Love to. / Can you keep an eye on the aquarium and make sure nobody taps on the glass?", "c": ["Joe Mayo", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "I was ready to get jiggy with it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "I think you know Dr. Zaius.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Did you at least get him a card? / I thought we'd all sign the picture.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "He is an agitator. / I've known Newman all my life in the building and you're all wrong about him. He's a model tenant. Portly, yes, but smart as a whip.", "c": ["Silvio", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "God, you're like a rock star.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "But that's you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "You got a filing cabinet under half of your ass.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "This is an organizer, a secretary and a friend.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "I think I had some hard candy in there.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "What are you, a medieval dungeon master?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "That looks like a dead bear. / No. That's a fur coat.", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Where did you learn to climb trees like that? / The Pacific Northwest.", "c": ["Kramer", "Newman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "It's not a purse. It's European.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Sometimes I get the feeling George isn't being completely honest with me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Newman found one there yesterday. Man, that guy can climb like a ring-tailed lemur.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Aside from this rattan piece, which seems oddly out of place.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "This isn't about my opening your mail? / What? I don't. Never have. Anything I read was already open.", "c": ["Jerry", "Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Sorry, climber's keepers.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Of all the men that I know, you're the only one who's held down a steady job for several years.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "How I've waited for this moment. But alas, my heart belongs to another man's wife.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Nice carryall. / It's European.", "c": ["Newman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "What was your job? / My job was to keep you away from the music. / What? He doesn't like my taste in music?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "You should have been there last year. I got jiggy with it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "I can see you through the reverse peephole.", "c": ["Silvio"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "What kind of a man would wear fur? / Oh, lots of them. / Would you? / No. / Then who? / What about Jerry?", "c": ["Silvio", "Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "They're desperate, insecure people. 'It's all about me, me, me. Please look at me. I am so pretty. Love me. Want me.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "All right. Why don't you just take a good, hard look at what your life will be like if I'm not around? Newman too.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "That Walkman was broke when you gave it to me.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "I think the chair is a fantastic gift idea, but I never heard of this Joe Mayo. And frankly, it sounds made-up.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "I've been lying to you for three days and now you're all screwing me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Your good friend is morbidly obese.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "It's not a purse. It's European.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Jerry, you forgot your purse. / Oh, thanks.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Yup, he's a dandy. He's a real fancy boy.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "'Want me. Love me. Shower me with kisses.'", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "It must be the man that's sleeping with your wife.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Your what? / The black leather thing with a strap. / You mean a purse? / Yes, a purse. I carry a purse.", "c": ["Police", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "Should have had a reverse peephole.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "I saw Jerry wearing his. He looked like a bit of a dandy.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "You got a question? You ask the 8 Ball. / All signs point to yes.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "The Reverse Peephole"}, {"t": "So you're saying UNICEF is a scam? It's the perfect cover for a money laundering operation. No one can keep track of all those kids with the little orange boxes of change.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Ah, dramatica comedia. Untalented.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "She's always inviting me to see her in some bad play in a tiny room without ventilation.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Hey there, Mister 'Too big to come to my shows'! I just came from tap, I'm all 'whooo'!", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Why don't you just give up? Kramer!!! Well, that's what Jerry says.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "So... Susan's dead...", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "I think she was happy someone finally said it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Some people should just give up. I have. What did you wanna be? I don't remember. But it certainly wasn't this.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Look at this cartoon in the New Yorker. I don't get this. Me neither. And you're on the fringe of the humor business!", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Now, we got a dog and a cat in an office. It looks like my accountant's office but there's no pets working there.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Try shaking it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Her eyes, her mouth... nose... We know what a face consists of.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Jerry, she looks exactly like you.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Newman, but that was a crank call.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "It should be the traditional route: years of rejection and failure, until she's spit out the bottom of the porn industry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "You know what woman I always thought you looked like? Lena Horne.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "You don't see this? You're like twins! This is eerie!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Just because they look alike, that doesn't mean you're secretly in love with Jerry.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Well - it's getting dark.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "When I'm on stage that's all I hear. 'You stink. You suck. We like magic.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "You've been stinking since the Eighties.", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Oh! I think we're at the bottom.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "And she's quite a-- handsome woman.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "I'm not gay. ... neither am I.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "and then about George dating a lady Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "a perverse sexual amalgam of some girl and his best friend", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Jerry, 94% of communication is non-verbal.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "It's Frank and Estelle's reaction of hearing about George's man-love towards she-Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "cartoons are like gossamer and one doesn't dissect gossamer.", "c": ["New Yorker Editor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Vorshtein? That's not a word.", "c": ["New Yorker Editor", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "I liked the kitty.", "c": ["New Yorker Editor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "who I like to call The Devil.", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "So you have to imagine I have horns, a tail and hooks instead of feet.", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Oh, shut up! [to Kramer]", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "What, your sad little horsies? The house with the little curl of smoke? The sunflower with the smiley face? The transparent cube...", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "It's better than your drawings of naked Lois Lane. Where did you see that? Those are private!", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Snoozers!", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "My friends are idiots. She doesn't look like Jerry. She doesn't look like anybody.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "You know I really do look a lot like your friend Jerry. I know.", "c": ["Janet", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "And he's like, 'Hey, stop doing your show!' And I'm like, 'Hello! It's a free country!'", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "There really was shmootz! I didn't try and grab her!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "I've stayed up all night, I fix myself up a little before I go out. Some mouthwash, a hat, something.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "It's a pig at a complaint department. Yeah, and he's saying, 'I wish I was taller'! See? That's his complaint.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "How 'bout if it was something like, 'I can't find my receipt. My place is a sty.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.62, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Well, I got a complaint. This cartoon stinks.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "The pig says, 'My wife is a slut'? Now that's a complaint.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "Crybaby Jerry Seinfeld's Lawyer.", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "How could she say that on TV? And how did she get a cable special? I've never gotten a cable special!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "I'd like to see that complaint get rectified.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "It's a Ziggy! Some charlatan has stolen a Ziggy and passed it off as his own.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "This relationship has got to be about something, and fast, or I'm in very serious and weird trouble.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "I have gum in my hair. I'm losin' it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "No, you gotta shut up! I'm sorry, I--I haven't spoken in days.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "You ripped off a Ziggy? It must've seeped into my subconscious. Puddy has Ziggy bed sheets.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "I see Ziggy's back at the complaint department. 'The New Yorker's stealing my ideas.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "I heard he makes his best friend date women who look just like him. Hello, issues!", "c": ["Sally"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "You broke up with her just because she cut her hair? How short? Like that. You mean like... that. So she... Yes. And you don't... No. So... Exactly.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "We... must never ever speak of this again. No. No.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Cartoon"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["Maura"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "All right.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "It's not like you're launching missiles and you both have to turn your keys.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Oh, Mr. Mashed Potatoes, you are so good.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "I'm afraid we're out of time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "You already have an in. You have the same first name. Jerry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Oh, that'll intrigue him.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "George Peppard has been dead for years.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Well, whoever he was, he knew a lot about The A-Team.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Lethal injection, feels like pasta. You know, it's painless, I don't want anything too heavy.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "I think you're very beautiful. That'll do.", "c": ["Mystery Man", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Or he's a crime fighter safeguarding his secret identity.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Elaine, you could be dating the Green Lantern.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "I don't care for jewelry on men.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "You were in the Army? Briefly.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Literally? What's that supposed to mean?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "How long did you last? Well, that's classified.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "You peeked. This is your hiding place? It was under a spoon.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "It's like launching missiles from a submarine. Both of us have to turn our keys.", "c": ["Maura"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Turn your key, Maura. Turn your key.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Married. That's it, I'm chucking the flower.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "You'll chicken out at the last second. Yeah, you're right.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Nodding off!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "It went in the sewer.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "You're so obsessed with me.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Flirted with the menu guy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Well, he could be a superhero. You should have seen him run.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "This is not an Easter egg hunt for your childish amusement.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Sounds like a scam. I'm very sorry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "That ginger ale at the coffee shop is just Coke and Sprite mixed together. How can I prove it? Damn it, I can't. Damn it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Why does it always seem like I'm the only one working at this breakup?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Mr. Apple, you have a brown spot.", "c": ["Maura"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "This is wrong. I should go.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Lady, I'm not his wife. I'm his welfare caseworker.", "c": ["Welfare Worker"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "So he's.... Poor.", "c": ["Elaine", "Welfare Worker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Is he wretchedly poor? Does he wear one of those barrels with the straps?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "He probably busted it up and burned it for heat.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "So when are you giving Boxcar Willie his walking papers?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "We gave him a few bucks. He goes in the alley across the street.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Apparently, I was unable to break up beyond a reasonable doubt.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "He's invulnerable to creditors.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "He's the Got-No-Green Lantern.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Hey, maybe his girlfriend is Lois Loan.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Well crafted.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "She's too tan. It's the middle of the winter, she's like a carrot.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "He can wipe out his account in a single bounce.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "So Phil won't be compulsively looking for it like some people.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Are you sure? Because it could really help me out of a jam.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "All right, that's it. How do you spell your last name?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "You're the bear claw in the garbage bag of my life.", "c": ["Glenn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "That's my wife.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "That's why I took them out of your drawer and put them in my strongbox.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "And who buries a bird?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "I hid the key in Fredo's food dish. That's a weird coincidence.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Fredo was weak and stupid. He shouldn't have eaten that key.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "The actor that played Jesus made some odd choices.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "What we have is too important. We can work through this.", "c": ["Maura"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "I guess I'm Lois Loan.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Listen, I heard that Lassie number three's buried here. I'm gonna go check it out.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Hey, Kramer. I dug Fredo out. Now let's cut him open.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Give me 40. You'll never see me again.", "c": ["Glenn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Well, will you look at that. I guess I forgot to lock it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "Really one for the books.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "The Strong Box"}, {"t": "When are they gonna learn that news about China is an instant page-turner?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "He doesn't care for the gift, he gets excited about the deal.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "I'll tell him I got it on the street and maybe it's hot. That's his favorite.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Deep down I always kind of felt that they blamed me for Susan's death.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Why? Because you picked out the poison envelopes?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "That's silly.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "What, about you dating a black guy? What's the big deal?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "He is? / No, he isn't. / Isn't he, Elaine?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "You think? / I thought he looked Irish.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "What's his last name? / Nelson. / That's not Irish.", "c": ["George", "Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Should we talking about this? / I think it's okay. / No, it isn't. / Why not? / Well, it would be okay... if Darryl was here. / If he's black.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "George", "Jerry", "George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Mrs. Ross, it's George. / Who?", "c": ["George", "Mrs. Ross"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "George Costanza. Susan's friend?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "House in the Hamptons? / I've been lying about my income for years. I figured I could afford a fake house in the Hamptons.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Well, grab a cigar, boys. Yeah, it's time to celebrate.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "How are they gonna make that book into a movie?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Remember that photo book on toy ray guns? / Yeah. / Independence Day?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "That's funny, because I haven't seen you working... for a while. A long while.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "From what?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "It's not really gold.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Turn it down!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Well, not 'Africa.' Actually South Africa.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "You know how it is. / Maybe.", "c": ["Darryl", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "You must hate hot dogs, huh?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "It's a radar detector. / Radar detector. I've never seen you go over 20 miles an hour. You're like the grand marshal of the Rose Bowl parade.", "c": ["Morty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Attaboy. Helen, Jerry got me a hot Wizard computer.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "So I can use it to figure out the tip? / Yeah, I guess. But the really cool thing is the daily planner. / We can go to the restaurant to figure out the tips.", "c": ["Morty", "Jerry", "Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Kramer, you can't live down here. This is where people come to die.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Not you. Older people.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "You feed him he'll never leave.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Why don't you just ask him? / Because if I ask him, then it's like I really want to know.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Maybe he's... mixed. Is that the right word?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "The Hamptons? George Costanza? I don't think so.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Keep it real.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "How does 12.4 percent sound? / Well, your tip is $4 and 36.6666 cents. We'll round down.", "c": ["Morty", "Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "I was never impeached. I resigned. / Even so, the press would bury him. / What press? / The condo newsletter. The Boca Breeze. / Pinko commie rag.", "c": ["Morty", "Helen", "Jerry", "Helen", "Morty"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "He just got a date with that young aquacise instructor. / She's 50.", "c": ["Neighbor", "Kramer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "You know what he's got? He's got charisma.", "c": ["Neighbor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "All right. I'm Asian. / What? / Just to mess with them.", "c": ["Darryl", "Elaine", "Darryl"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Average income. Over a hundred thousand. / Really? / So does that matter? / No. But it's very nice to know.", "c": ["Elaine", "Darryl", "Darryl", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "So did you figure out Darryl's... you know? / I've given up. So now we're going to a bunch of Spanish restaurants. Figure that'll cover us either way.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "You're a master of race relations.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "He wants to install Kramer in a puppet regime... and then wield power from behind the scenes. Preferably from the sauna in the clubhouse.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Who are they running against? / Common sense... and a guy in a wheelchair.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "I want you to come by twice a day... and flush the toilet so the gaskets don't dry out and leak.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "What? / Well, what about the mail? / This is far more important. You must exercise the gaskets, George.", "c": ["George", "George", "Jerry", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "What did you say? / I told them you didn't. And I laughed and I laughed.", "c": ["George", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "You don't let somebody lie when you know. You call them a liar. / Like you're a liar. / Yes. Thank you. Was that so hard?", "c": ["George", "Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "I'm calling the Rosses and inviting them... to my nonexistent place in the Hamptons. Then we'll see who blinks first.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Haven't you done enough to these people?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Are you black? / Or should I bring some cream?", "c": ["Waitress", "Waitress"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "They're upset because we're an interracial couple. / Interracial? Us? / Isn't that unbelievable? / Yes. It's awful.", "c": ["Elaine", "Darryl", "Elaine", "Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "All right, you wanna get nuts... come on, let's get nuts!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "We're campaigning, Jerry. To rule the people, one must walk among them.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Right, yeah. The poll's close after dinner. Three o'clock. But then when we win... the celebration goes all night until the break of 8 p.m.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Barefoot in the clubhouse? Kramer... don't you realize this is against the rules?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "These people work and wait their whole lives to move down here... sit in the heat, pretend it's not hot, and enforce these rules.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "All right, what do we do next, Morty, huh? Wiretaps? Slush funds?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "What are their names? / Snoopy and Prickly Pete.", "c": ["Mrs. Ross", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Yeah. / It's okay. My boyfriend's black. Here he is. See? / Hi, Elaine. / Hey. / He's black? / Yeah. / I'm black? / Aren't you?", "c": ["Elaine", "Elaine", "Darryl", "Elaine", "Waitress", "Elaine", "Darryl", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "We are because you're Hispanic. / I am? / Aren't you? / No. Why would you think that? / Your name's Benes. Your hair. You kept taking me to those Spanish restaurants.", "c": ["Elaine", "Darryl", "Elaine", "Darryl", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "That's because I thought you were black. / Why would you take me to a Spanish restaurant because I'm black?", "c": ["Elaine", "Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "So we're just a couple of white people? / I guess. / Yeah. / So do you want to go to the Gap? / Sure.", "c": ["Darryl", "Elaine", "Darryl", "Elaine", "Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "This isn't a Wizard. It's a Willard. / It's a Willard? Saccamano Sr. screwed me.", "c": ["Morty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Mine doesn't have a seven. / I'm ruined.", "c": ["Neighbor", "Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "How could you spend $200 on a tip calculator? / It does other things!", "c": ["Morty", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "There's no house! It's a lie! There's no solarium. There's no Prickly Pete. There's no other solarium.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "We know.", "c": ["Mr. Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Then why? Why did you make me drive all the way out here? Why didn't you say something? Why? Why? Why?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "We don't like you, George. And we always blamed you for what happened to Susan.", "c": ["Mr. Ross"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.75, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Wizard"}, {"t": "Two and ten, babe.", "c": ["Elaine", "Puddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Jesus is one, Jesus is all, Jesus picks me up when I fall.", "c": ["Christian rock singers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "According to our latest quarterly... thing,", "c": ["Kruger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Or the black, or whatever the bad one is.", "c": ["Kruger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "I sometimes drop off my rent check having 'forgotten' to sign it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Hello? I sorry, no here Kruger.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Silly voices. Come on, people, let's get real.", "c": ["Kruger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "When you hit that high note, you say goodnight and walk off.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "It's not like those real musicians who think they're so cool and hip.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Dumb and lazy, I understand.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "No, the old switcheroo is: You poison your drink, and then you switch it with the other person's.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Elaine's gonna do the same thing to Puddy's radio that the radio did to her.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Since the last one.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "I needed to move a bureau.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Well the better ones.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Oh, I knew it was you, I was joking. I'm a comedian.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "They ground the head down to about the size of a softball.", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "stick a pumpkin under its arm and change the nameplate to Ichabod Crane?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Alright! That's it for me. Goodnight everybody.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Sorry, buddy, this is the Hamlet of diseases.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Severe pain, nausea, delusions-- it's got everything.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "So that old woman-- she's just a liar, right?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "A Jesus fish!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "I got him because he seemed so one-dimensional.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "She's not a 'me'. I'm a 'me'.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "It's like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "That seems about right.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "I guess there are no small diseases, only small actors.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Alright, that's it for me! Good night everybody.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "I'm gonna make people feel my gonorrhea, and feel the gonorrhea in themselves.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Our eyes met across the crowded hat store. I a customer, and she a coquettish haberdasher.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Gonorrhea!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "It's a goose that's had the old switcheroo pulled on it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "I'm not the one going to hell.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "It's a five-mile-an-hour getaway.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "She lost her thumbs in a tractor accident and they grafted her big toes on.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "That seems about right.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "And a slice of Devil's fruitcake.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "And you always leave me wanting more.", "c": ["Kruger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Three times around, no feet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "I don't believe this. I'm being typecast!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Maybe they should change it to a tractor.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Wait, don't go. Let's thumb wrestle.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "This afternoon I found him with sleep creases on his face.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Sorry, thou shalt not steal.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "What do you care. You know where you're going.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "With devils and those caves and the ragged clothing! And the heat! My God, the heat!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Gonna be rough.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's right!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Hey! That's my cirrhosis! He's stealing my cirrhosis!", "c": ["Mickey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Well, then it's simple. You're both going to hell.", "c": ["Priest"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Oh, lighten up. It'll only feel like an eternity.", "c": ["Puddy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "My boyfriend said I got gonorrhea from riding the tractor in my bathing suit.", "c": ["Sophie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Alright, that's it for me. You've been great. Goodnight everybody.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "K-Uger, that sounds like one of those old-time car horns, huh? K-Uger! K-Uger!", "c": ["Kruger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "Oh no, you're not going out on a high note with me, Mr. Kruger! It's K-Uger! No! No! Goodnight everybody!", "c": ["George", "Kruger"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "The Burning"}, {"t": "So, what's the deal with politics? I don't get it. Am I right, people?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "They can put it anywhere they want. No one's meeting anybody.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Yes. The city needs more slow moving wicker vehicles.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Forgot his first name.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Maybe. All over your face.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm miserable.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "If it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Yeah, I understand Gutenberg used to spend a fair amount of time in there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "All right, Leo. Sticking it to the man.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Cocktail flu.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Oh, the drunken make-out. An office classic.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Did you end up Xeroxing anything?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Hey, me too. / Yeah, me too.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "As opposed to a spirited bout of skanko Roman wrestling.", "c": ["Zach"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "No, you're not. / No, he doesn't. / Yes, it can.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "My, isn't this an awkward moment?", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Why not just strap something to them?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Now, that's the first sensible idea I've heard all day.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "But I'm not.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "You still say hello.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Who, criminals? / Senior citizens. No big deal.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "I'm an old man. I'm confused. I thought I paid for it. What's my name? Could you take me home?", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Will somebody answer that damn phone.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Now, I don't care where you're from, or how you got here, or what happened to your homes, but you will have to be physically fit.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "or a shirt.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "You know, I once knew a horse named Rusty. No offense.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "I'll take the job. Potato salad.", "c": ["Homeless man"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "It's been in the bathroom. / It says that on the computer?", "c": ["Bookstore clerk", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "5150. That's just a scare, right?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Jerry, you ratted me out.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "It was a crime of passion. Leave it alone.", "c": ["Helen Seinfeld"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Batteries. Well, they wear out so quick. / Sometimes your father forgets, so, I have to steal them.", "c": ["Helen Seinfeld"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Well, you know, 85 percent of all homeless-rickshaw businesses fail within the first three months.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Like his bag of cans, or his other bag of cans.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "To the idiot-mobile.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Tina Turner?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Anyone betrays me, I never forget.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "You know, I could let it go for say a hundred and twenty-five.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Biohazard, coming through. Clear. Clear.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Well, aren't you something?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Who among us hasn't snuck into the break room to nibble on a love newton?", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Smack. White palace. The Chinamen's nightcap.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "That wasn't Zach. That was the yam-yam.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Better bring a poncho.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Away from the curtains. Away. Use your bucket.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "I mean, after all, it is a conveyance.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "One spot, two spot, zigzag, tear, pop-dye, penny got, tennyum, tear, harum-scarum, rip them, tear them, te, ta, toe.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Smooth it out up there. Too much jostling.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "It's DeMornay. Rebecca DeMornay.", "c": ["Rebecca DeMornay"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "It's bad enough that we have some nut out there trying to strap them to a rickshaw.", "c": ["Rebecca DeMornay"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "You get your toilet book out of here and I won't jump over this counter and punch you in the brain.", "c": ["Rebecca DeMornay"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "You're better at fake relationships than real ones. / Yeah. I even got an idea out of it. The detox poncho.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Well, don't tarry, I'm behind schedule as it is.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "You defile one book, steal another, ask for your money back and to you that's even.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "That's why we stopped carrying batteries.", "c": ["Bookstore manager"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "Oh, Jerry!", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Bookstore"}, {"t": "There are 200 people who work in this office. Every day is somebody's special day.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "It's his birthday and it's his last day? / This is other Walter from returns.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "I had to take a sick day, I'm so sick of these people.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Hey, speaking of tomato sauce, wanna come with me to Mario's Pizza?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Step back, son, there's nothing to see here.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "You sure have a lot of friends. How come I never see any of them? / They wanna know why they never see you.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, I had to fish around in the evidence room for it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "It's just some guy, he's been running around Riverside Park, you know...cutting people's heads off.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "What are the other titles? / Heads-o. The De-Nogginizer.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Son of Dad. / Yeah, that was my suggestion. It's sort of a catch-all.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Remember us? / No. / We used to come in every day. / So where you been? We're tanking here.", "c": ["George", "Mario", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Oh, thanks. That'll save us. / All right, make it the large sodas.", "c": ["Mario", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Eat the fly. Eat it! / Thanks a lot. Beat it, punk.", "c": ["George", "Mario"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Perfect combination of Mountain Dew and mozzarella. Just the right amount of grease on the joystick.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "I think I remember why we stopped coming here.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "So why do I keep smelling it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Get well, get well soon We wish you to get well... / Stop it! That's not even a song.", "c": ["Coworkers", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "I mean, now we're celebrating a sick day?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla? I mean, we are all unhappy. Do we have to be fat too?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Not you, Becky. I know you have a slow metabolism.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "End underwater. / Be that long. / So much more violent. / Not as long.", "c": ["Lisi", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Get going. / Eight tomorrow? / What you were thinking.", "c": ["Lisi", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Once you unplug the machine, all the scores will be erased.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Why must there always be a problem? You'd think just once, I could get a break. God knows I earned it with that score.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "There's a lot of people walking around that look like me. / Not as many as there used to be.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "I'm never gonna have a child. If I lose this Frogger high score...that's it for me.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Slippery Pete? / I don't care for the name, either. In fact, that's one of the things that we argue about.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "She's a sentence finisher. It's like dating Mad Libs.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll go raid Peterman's fridge. He's always got a truffle or something in there.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "It's a cakewalk.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Oh, what a stirring little anthem of wellness.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Poor old Walt has a polyp in the duodenum. It's benign but, oh, still a bastard.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "A slice of cake from the wedding of King Edward VIII to Wallis Simpson, circa 1937. The price? Twenty-nine thousand dollars.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "She lives right off Riverside Park. I was scared of the Lopper, so I let her stay over.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Guess what I ate? / An ostrich burger? / No. A $29,000 piece of cake.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "It was the most romantic thing I've ever eaten. / How did it taste? / A little stale.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Well, they say ostrich has less fat, but you eat more of it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Pennsylvania Dutch country? No, that's the serious-relationship weekend place.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "I'm not going over there. That's where the Lopper is. / It's daylight. It won't take you that long. / Just make a clean break.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "No point in wasting 1200 bucks.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Oh, commander, isn't the wedding marvellous? The cake? Oh, I shouldn't. I mustn't. Ah, what the hell.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Slippery Pete. Kramer tells me you are one hell of a rogue electrician.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "I don't know if I'm the best. / You're very good. / Let's say good. / Okay, good.", "c": ["Shlomo", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "That was my mail-order bride. You weren't home, so I signed for her. / It doesn't give you the right to make out with her.", "c": ["Kramer", "Slippery Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "We're stealing this thing, right? / No, I paid for it. / I thought we were stealing it. / Feels like we're stealing it.", "c": ["Slippery Pete", "George", "Shlomo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Can I at least steal a battery? / Fine, steal the battery.", "c": ["Slippery Pete", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "That's where the electricity comes out of. / Oh, you mean the holes?", "c": ["George", "Shlomo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "They put the Frogger with the toilet?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Something pre-war would be just great.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "No, they're not really in the supermarket. They got their own case at the end of the aisle.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sorry if I ruined your life. That's exactly what I set out to do.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Boy, did your mother do a number on you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "We've been breaking up for 10 hours?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Lopper. / We should give this a little more time. See how it looks in the light of day.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "A long, long weekend. / I hear thee.", "c": ["Lisi", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Back to the wedding of one of the most dashing and romantic Nazi sympathisers of the entire British royal family.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "I'd say about 219. / Two hundred and nineteen thousand dollars. / No. $2.19. It's an Entenmann's.", "c": ["Lubeck", "Peterman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Do they have a castle in Windsor? / No, they have a display case at the end of the aisle.", "c": ["Peterman", "Lubeck"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "You idiots. You're gonna wear down the battery.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "I need holes. / The pharmacy's still open.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "This reminds me of something. / I can do this. / By yourself?", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "He looks like a frog. / So do you.", "c": ["Observer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Game over.", "c": ["Arcade Machine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 9.1, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "But it also caught this.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Do you know what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades in a poorly-ventilated English basement?", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "I have a feeling what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed.", "c": ["Peterman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "The Frogger"}, {"t": "Is this the suicide talk, or the nickname talk?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "George. What is that? It's nothing. It's got no snap. No zip.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "You mean like 'Liza.'", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "But there's no T in your name. What about G-Bone?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "There's no G-Bone. / There's a G-Spot. / That's a myth.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Why did they hire you for a rodeo? / They heard I opened for Kenny Rogers once.", "c": ["George", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Didn't he throw you off a bus in the middle of Alabama? / Oh, I had that coming to me.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "You don't have to whisper. She knows she's a maid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Notice what? She's not really even a maid. She wants to be an actress... or a model or a dancer... or a newswoman. / Newswoman.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Different Gap, different Tower Records.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "I was a 718 when I first moved here. I cried every night.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "There's a lot of stuff in my apartment I've never seen. / Then maybe you have a fax machine. / You just blew my mind.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Well, I am just a T-bone kind of guy. Love that T-bone. In fact, you might as well call me... / That sounds good. / I'll have one too.", "c": ["George", "Coworker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "T-Bone. T-Bone. T-Bone. T-Bone. T-Bone. T-Bone.", "c": ["Coworkers"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "You have 57 messages. Message one. [beep] Message two. [beep] Message three. Hey, it's George. Listen, I... Message four. [beep]", "c": ["Answering machine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "You're paying a woman to come to your house and sleep with you. / No. I pay her to clean. The rest is... / What? A health plan?", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "I was going to say, being a good host.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Well, there's nothing more sophisticated than diddling the maid and then chewing some gum.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Well, I signed up for a food delivery service, 'Now We're Cooking.' It's a play on words.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "I wonder if anyone knows he's here. If he just disappeared... would anybody notice?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "You know, I could have killed you and no one would have known. / I could have killed you, and no one would have known.", "c": ["Elaine", "Phone Worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Jerry, you know this comes on at the same time here as it does there? / Really? It's Tuesday here. What day is it there?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Because Neil Watkins from Accounting is T-Bone.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "I've done that. / Did you ever eat an ostrich burger? / No.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "It's the same as 212, they just multiplied it by three. And then they added one to the middle number.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Boy, look at George, just giving it to T-Bone. He's jumping up and down like some kind of monkey.", "c": ["Coworker"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "From now on, I will be known as... Koko, the monkey.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Koko. Koko. Koko. Koko...", "c": ["Coworkers"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Quick question... did she by any chance have a 212 phone number?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "You're a john.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Once she pinched my ass... but I don't know what that was.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "I got a 212 number from this little old lady in my building, Mrs. Krantz. / She didn't mind? / No, she died.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Newman died? / What did he say? / Some new kind of pie.", "c": ["George", "Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Double zero? / It's 'oo.' As in:", "c": ["George", "Coco"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "All sealed up in here, emotionally unavailable? Paying scrubwomen for sexual favours? No. Jerry. I won't be like you. Never. I'll never be like you.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Hold on. Let's keep this sophisticated.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Do you hate me because of my lazy eye?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "stay alive. No matter what occurs, I will find you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Bobby, you gotta stop calling your gammy. / Why? / Because sometimes you call very early in the morning when Gammy has been out late the night before. And sometimes when Gammy's not alone.", "c": ["Elaine", "Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "I'm dead now. Gotta go.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Well, this is all very sophisticated.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "We can't have two Cocos. / So I guess you're back to being George.", "c": ["Kruger", "Kruger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "What did you say about my gammy? / Forget Gammy. / Who's Gammy? / There's no Gammy. / Maybe there should be a Gammy.", "c": ["Coco", "George", "Kruger"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Gammy. Gammy. Gammy. Gammy. Gammy. Gammy. / Gammy's getting upset.", "c": ["Office workers", "George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "The Maid"}, {"t": "Because ballpark food doesn't count as real food. Right. It's just an activity.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Like that paddle with the ball and rubber band.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "You know, my friend Bob Saccamano made a fortune off of those. See, he came up with the idea for the rubber band. Before that, people would just hit the ball and it would fly away.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Those nachos are killing me. I thought you were hungry. It's complicated.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I'll tell you when you can go. Wait, wait, wait. Now, now, now. No, no, no. Now. Go, go. No, no. Wait. Wait. Now, now, now. Jerry, go--", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "You want me to moon him? Let's moon him. Roll up your window. Let's do a pressed ham under glass.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Blimp: The Hindenberg Story.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "They should make a movie about all the Hindenberg flights that made it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I yelled out, 'That's gotta hurt.' The place went nuts.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Imagine the laugh you could have gotten if you had yelled that out at the actual disaster.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "It's the Puerto Rican Day parade. It's the Puerto Rican Day parade. The city shuts down Fifth Avenue. They never let anyone through.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I think every Puerto Rican in the world is out here. Well, it is our day.", "c": ["Jerry", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Wrong car. Sorry.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "How you can unwind with that clock ticking? It makes me anxious.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "You know, you should make yourself throw up. You know you're going to.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "You know who the grand marshal is of this thing? None other than Miss Chita Rivera. No, no, no. It was Maria Conchita Alonso. Oh, I know who it is. Stacy Keach.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "This guy's giving me the stare-ahead. The stare-ahead, I hate that. I use it all the time.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Look at me. I am man. I am you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "You seem to be a tad askew.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I've been trying to leave this group for 10 years.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "It's a performance, Jerry. Like what you do. That's not what I do. Isn't it? Maybe a little. Hell, I guess it is.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "You know, actually, Jerry, you haven't worked a room that big in a while.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I hate it when their ears get flipped inside out like that. Why doesn't he fix it?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Hey! Fold your dog's ear back!", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I could walk faster than this. No, you can't. Yes, I can. Here. I'm out of here.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Now it's moving. Oh, yeah, I knew it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I think someone has one of those funny laser pointers.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "The laser's not funny. I'm funny.", "c": ["Laser Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "You know, my aunt had a thing removed with a laser.", "c": ["Laser Guy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "We leave the car here. We take the plates off, we scratch the serial number off the engine block and we walk away. Walk away? Well, you've got insurance.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "All right, what is your deductible? I don't know. Yes. Because they've already deducted it. From what? The car. Which we're leaving, so the net is zero.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "If you refuse to grow up and scam your insurance company, you'll have to work this out with maroon Golf.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "That's gotta hurt! It's gotta hurt! Hurt! Because.... Damn you, laser guy!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "You're just a prop comic. Where's the craft?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "You raise the hand, lower the head. 'I'm sorry. The buttons are really big on the car. I don't understand. I haven't read the manual.' You get my drift.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Hey, Jerry, crank up the Floyd, it's a George Laserium.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Stay away from my breasts-- Chest!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "And by the way, that was an 'I'm not sorry' wave. I'm glad I cut you off because black Saab rules. So long, jackass.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "So if everyone would just put their cars in reverse at the same time, we can do this. All right, on the count of three. Can everyone hear me?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Hey, Amigo, are you paying attention? Buenos d\u00edas, my friend. Not you. The guy in the Amigo.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Hey, I went to Tufts. It was my safety school. So don't talk to me about hardship.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I can't be blind, Jerry. The blind are courageous. You'll be fine, as long as it doesn't hit you in the pupil, because then the whole ball will go up like the Death Star.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "They are a very festive people.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "None of us saw the nylon flap. That might mean something.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I'm H. E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and a bicyclist.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my peculiar habits and the women that I frequent with.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I spend that much on aftershave. Yes, I buy and sell men like myself every day.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "All right, we can move faster without Father O'Gimpy.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I don't think I've ever seen a man driving a Saab convertible. Still haven't.", "c": ["Woman", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Wouldn't it bounce back and forth between your cornea and the mirror? Faster and faster, getting more intense, until--", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I'm into this Puerto Rican Day. The sights, the sounds. The hot, spicy flavor of it all. It's caliente, Jerry.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Not Pennypacker. You know him? I wish I didn't. Brace yourself, madam, for an all-out bidding war. But this time, advantage Varnsen.", "c": ["Jerry", "Christine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Now the hunted becomes the hunter.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Let us out. There's an unmarried pregnant woman down here. Don't judge me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "That wasn't a laser pen. No. It's just a pen.", "c": ["George", "Laser Guy"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Oh, that's funny? No, you have, like, a dot on your face. Whoever's doing that is very clever.", "c": ["Pen Guy", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Because it's Puerto Rican Day. Maybe we should stomp you like you stomp the flag.", "c": ["Angry Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "I just have one thing to say to you boys. Mama!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Mr. Pennypacker, if you're here, and Mr. Vandelay is also here, then who's watching the factory? The factory? The Saab factory? Jerry, that's in Sweden.", "c": ["Christine", "Kramer", "Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "How do you suppose they did that? Well, there's no logical explanation.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Well, Jerry, you can't deduct it now.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Hey, black Saab. Looks like that building cut you off. See you around. Well, at least he didn't-- Jackass.", "c": ["Maroon Golf Driver", "Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Well, this was a fun day. It's nice to get out.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Puerto Rican Day"}, {"t": "Nine years. Seems like a long time, doesn't it? It is.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Except for summer... where nothing seemed to happen for months at a time.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Do you ever get the feeling like you had a haircut, but you didn't have one?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "What kind of lives are these? We're like children. We're not men. No, we're not. We're not men. We're pathetic, you know that? Like I don't know that I'm pathetic.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "I was in the pool!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.9, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Since when do you smoke? I've always smoked. I've never seen you smoke. Oh, yeah, well. Big smoker.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "That's why I'm different. I can sense the slightest human suffering. Are you sensing anything right now?", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning? I like to get the Daily News.", "c": ["Mrs. Enright", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Every group has someone that they all make fun of. Like us, with Elaine.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "You're bald! No, I'm not. I was bald.", "c": ["Elaine", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Stella!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Now, don't you two see that you're in love with each other?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down $2000 to live like him for a week. Do nothing. Fall ass-backwards into money. Mooch food off your neighbors... and have sex without dating. That's a fantasy camp.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "No boxers, no Jockeys. The only thing between him and us is a thin layer of gabardine.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm loving every minute of it.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite. I am not an anti-dentite. You're a rabid anti-dentite.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "I think I'm pretty much like you. Only successful.", "c": ["Tim Whatley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Give me your home number and I'll call you later. Well, I'm sorry, we're not allowed to do that. I guess you don't want people calling you at home. No. Well, now you know how I feel.", "c": ["Jerry", "Telemarketer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Jerry. Kill me. Kill me now. I'm begging you.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "What percentage of people would you say are good-looking? 25 percent. 25 percent? No way. It's, like, four to six percent. It's a 20-to-1 shot.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Have you been to the motor vehicle bureau? It's a leper colony there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Then how are all these people getting together? Alcohol.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "We have to have sex to save the friendship. Sex to save the friendship.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Eight dollars? Eight dollars? What are you doing? You're robbing me? I wasted my whole morning on you for $8?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "All right, how often do we do it? Kramer, how is that important? Do you really think he's gonna ask that? Elaine, he's a psychiatrist. They're interested in stuff like that.", "c": ["Kramer", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "All right, all right. We do it five times a week. Oh, baby. Oh, man.", "c": ["Elaine", "Kramer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "You know. Pleasuring you. It feels like aliens poking at my body.", "c": ["George", "Susan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "So you think you're spongeworthy? Yes, I think I'm spongeworthy. I think I'm very spongeworthy.", "c": ["Elaine", "Billy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Because if you don't get that return... that's a pretty big matzo ball hanging out there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "What, you've never said it? Once, to a dog. He licked himself and left the room.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Let me ask you this. Is there any Tampax in your house? Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what you got here. You got yourself a girlfriend.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Listen to this. Marcy comes over and she tells me... that her ex-boyfriend was over late last night... and, 'yada, yada, yada, I'm really tired today.' What do you think she was tired from? Well, obviously the yada, yada.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "But you yada, yada'd over the best part. No, I mentioned the bisque.", "c": ["Jerry", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "The only sex you're gonna have better than make-up sex... is if you're sent to prison and you have a conjugal visit. Yeah, conjugal visit sex. That is happening.", "c": ["Jerry", "Kramer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "You see, right now, I have relationship George. But there is also independent George. That's the George you know. The George you grew up with. Movie George. Coffee shop George. Liar George. Bawdy George.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "A George divided against itself cannot stand!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "She had man hands.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "She just dislikes me so much. It's irresistible.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Let me understand. You got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who's having sex with the hen?", "c": ["Mr. Ross"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "That's perverse.", "c": ["Mr. Ross"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you selected?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "No soup for you! Come back, one year.", "c": ["Soup Nazi"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.95, "im": 10.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "I don't even really work here. That's what makes this so difficult.", "c": ["Kramer", "Boss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it 'Roundtine.' That's gold, Jerry. Gold.", "c": ["Kenny", "Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "If a woman can take your presence... for more than 10 seconds, you should hang onto her like grim death. Which is not far off, by the way.", "c": ["Uncle Leo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Perhaps there's more to Newman than meets the eye. No, there's less.", "c": ["Jerry", "Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, the humanity!", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "So you're still master of your domain? Yes. Yes, I am.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "He took it out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "They just write it off. Write it off what? Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything. You don't even know what a write-off is. Do you? No, I don't. But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.", "c": ["Kramer", "Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "The Chronicle (1)"}, {"t": "It seems like whenever these office people call you in for a meeting, the whole thing is about the sitting down. I would really like to sit down with you. I think we need to sit down and talk. Why don't you come in, and we'll sit down.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Maybe we're not getting down low enough. Maybe if we all lie down, then our brains will work.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "I can't eat this without ketchup.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Are you using your ketchup?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "I'm going to need it from time to time.", "c": ["Unknown diner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "They're all the same. You go, you sit, you eat popcorn, you watch. I'm sick of it.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "That's usually the kind of mood I'm in when I haven't showered.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "When is it going to be my turn, Jerry? When do I get my 15 minutes? I want my 15 minutes!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Health's not good enough. I want more than health. Health's not doing it for me anymore. I'm sick of health.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, very gracious.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "You know you're turning into Burt Lancaster?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Faux pas? Big hefty stinking faux pas.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "And the street cellphone call is the lowest phone call you can make.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "It's an act of total disregard. It's selfish. It's dismissive. It's pompous.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "If you are thinking of instituting an open-door urination policy, let me disabuse you of that notion right now, my friend.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Let's all just have a big pee party. Hey everybody, grab a bucket. We're going up to Jerry's. It's a pee party.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Jerry! Jerry! He wants to talk about Jerry? Jerry! Can I go like this?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "I won't feel like a writer. You're not a writer. Right!", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Something, nothing, I could care less. Anything, everything, something, nothing - Who the hell cares? Put me down. I'm down!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "K-I-M-B-R-O-U-G-H. That's right. It's a talent I have.", "c": ["George", "Kimbrough"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, that's a dangerous fruit. It's like a weapon, that thing. Got spikes on the end. You can get killed from one of those things.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "It's really not accurate. Nobody drinks from a water cooler anymore - they use bottles.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Or we could not do the show altogether, how about that?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "So now she's lost a phone face-off? That's even worse than your cell phone walk-and-talk.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "She must be about six-six. She's not six-six.", "c": ["Frank", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Since when do you know how to write? I never saw you write anything.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "I'll tell you the truth - the whole thing sounds pretty stupid to me.", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Lot of femininas - some major femininas.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "She's a seductress, she's a siren, she's a virgin, she's a whore.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "They can discuss anything from world affairs to the fine art of fishing. Or baking.", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "You can be bleak in spring. If you're bleak, you're bleak.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Switzerland - the Von Trapp family, huh? It's a bit hilly - no?", "c": ["Kramer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "So then you'll walk down the hill and we'll pick you up.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "First you make a cell-phone walk-and-talk, then she loses a call-waiting face-off, now you're talking about a plane call?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "She's lost all use of her muscles. She can only communicate by blinking. I would so love to see her. Bring a ray of sunshine into her tragic life.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "When an evil wind will blow through your little playworld and wipe that smug smile off your face. And I'll be there, in all my glory, watching - watching as it all comes crumbling down.", "c": ["Newman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "You think this is the plane that Ted Danson gets?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "It's effeminate to sit like this? Yes, I think it's a little effeminate. How is this effeminate? I don't know - it just is.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "I cheated in the contest. What? What? The contest - I cheated. Why? Because I'm a cheater!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Great - I won.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "See, the great thing about robbing a fat guy is, it's an easy getaway. You know? They can't really chase ya!", "c": ["Carjacker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "He's actually doing him a favor. It's less money for him to buy food.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "The law requires you to help or assist anyone in danger as long as it's reasonable to do so. I never heard of that. It's new. It's called the Good Samaritan Law.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Why would we want to help somebody? I know. That's what nuns and Red Cross workers are for.", "c": ["George", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "You don't have to help anybody. That's what this country's all about. That's deplorable, unfathomable, improbable.", "c": ["Jackie Chiles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "Would it kill him to check up on us? No - drops off the meals and that's it. I realize we're prisoners, but we're still entitled to ketchup!", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "I guess we could've called for help. But then we would have missed the whole thing. I still had it on video. We could have watched it later.", "c": ["Jerry", "George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Seinfeld", "ss": "seinfeld", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "The Chronicle (2)"}, {"t": "What's it like having a cauliflower back?", "c": ["Louie", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "I didn't get creamed. I lost on the decision. I'm impressed. The referee decided I was bleeding too much.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "It's just difficult to figure out what 15% of $4.85 is when somebody's looking at you.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "73 cents!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "No, no pennies, thanks. No pennies.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "I'm up for the part of the horse. Yeah? Which end?", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "You just put your money in, and it comes right back. You can call anywhere for free.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "There's got to be somebody somewhere you want to call. No, well, no, not now.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's Bobby Wheeler from New York City calling. No, it's not personal. I'm an actor, too.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Just tell him that a guy... no... that an actor... named Bobby Wheeler", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Just crazy about her. Classiest lady I ever met. Yes, operator, I want the VIP Massage Parlor.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "What do you mean busting my chops here making believe you're a regular person?", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Fill out this form... And I hope you fill it out better than you fill out your pants.", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "He'd give you the scales off his back.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "I only work 60 hours a week.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "I'm calling from the USA. I'd like to speak to... Number 12.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Since the war's over, they only go up to nine.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "How many times you ever see her? Ten or 20 times. How long were you in Bangkok? A day. Yeah, I think she remembers you.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "My ex-husband was right. He's not the worst there is. You're a jerk. A giant jerk.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "You're not a heel. You're a jerk. A giant jerk.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "I feel like we're getting married at Annapolis.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Thank you, chambermaid, for your excellent service. I am glad I don't require medical assistance.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Get off my back. Give me a minute while I go to the can.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "What's her major, sardines?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Give me a minute while I go to the can.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "I swallowed a whole handful of uppers. You know, when the guy knocked me out, I couldn't close my eyes.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Son of a... I beg your pardon?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Well, I got some bad news for you. I lost the senate race.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Well, I guess she didn't want to impress you.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Got your nose. Which is no longer your favorite joke.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "But it's your driver's license. Oh. Aw, go ahead. That way you can have a picture of me, too.", "c": ["Alex", "Kathy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "I think I have your smile. Yeah? That's funny. I just got it two seconds ago.", "c": ["Kathy", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "You miss Rona Barrett one morning, you lose touch.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "No, uh... they went another way.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "Nah, it's cool, you know? No, really... it's cool. It's cool.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Like Father Like Daughter"}, {"t": "And Zelinko, you got cab 636, and wash it!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "It hurts me to see you not working. It makes me want to press a nerve in your neck.", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Because you are a terrible person.", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "The escalating booking claims: $120 to $110 to $100 to $90 to $80", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Haul your sweaty carcass over here this second. Did you detect mellowing?", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "You're through, loser. That's the nice way.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Whoo! A threat. I heard a threat... Ooh, a threat with an explanation... A threat that worked.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Your gym called... That information will cost you another buck... They didn't say nothing.", "c": ["Louie", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Never pick up a cripple... You call them 'handicapped persons'... The people you should never pick up are handicapped persons.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "You have to forgive Louie. He's himself today.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Imagine, the champ hitting my face.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "He can wear it when he's fighting and when he's convalescing.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "It's from everybody down at the garage except for, uh, Louie, Vince, Charlie, and Ed. They refused to cough up.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Once, the announcer said: 'In this corner, Holiday Inn.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "I like 'son.'", "c": ["Tony", "Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "All the ones with big sleeves had Japanese paintings on them.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's the same with sex. You get better? They do.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Champ, I'm sorry I hit you so hard.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Word not here.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Always remember, lust is better than love.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "I in lust. What else is new?", "c": ["Latka", "Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "I think it's the spray cans.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Buy a new cup.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "He's so good you can look up his record.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Whoo, Mr. Big Booker bets five whole dollars on his friend who he's sure is going to win.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "You're going to give up a Friday night... The busiest night of the week... To go watch the macaroni pony fight?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Nobody.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Always wanted to do that.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "You ever try to listen to the Olympics on the radio?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "I like the theater better. They just say 'five minutes.'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "I like the theater better. They just say 'five minutes.'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "You didn't knock down the champ.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "You're sure you don't mind?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Hey, don't you know enough not to interrupt a man at prayer?", "c": ["Unknown fighter"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Your opponent.", "c": ["Frankie Wallace"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Gimme.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "And I'm going to be here... Making a fortune.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "And I'm going to be here... Making a fortune.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "One Punch Banta"}, {"t": "Still nothing. You know, an actor doesn't like to hear that but Angela... nobody called me... She gives me other people's messages.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Sometimes she gives me Gene Shalit's messages. Yeah. Gene and me we use the same service, you know. A lot of stars call him. You know who called him yesterday? Who? Erma Bombeck.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "That's longer than most of your fights last.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "She might turn out to be a dog.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Sure, I would. If I was real drunk or something.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "How popular are short, pudgy, ugly men?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I hope someone slams a door on your nose and you sneeze and your head explodes.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Anything for Shalit?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Yeah, I remember your voice, too even though I knew it was you. I mean, even if I didn't know it was you and I heard your voice, I would know it was you. You want to go out with me?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Smooth, Alex.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Not smackers. Bucks.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I didn't say I lost it. I just said I was looking for it. I've been looking for 2,000 bucks all my life.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Tell her I'll get back to her.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "A priest who collected it for underprivileged crippled children. Or a nun on her way to send it to starving natives.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Or a hooker.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "It killed my sister-in-law.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You could have said you were looking for another apartment. No. I was looking for this one, 3-D. It fell off when I knocked on... door.", "c": ["Angela", "Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Well, my admirers will just have to wander the halls looking for me.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You got guts.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Most guys drop it ten seconds after they see me. You can stop now. You've got the record.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "To call your mother. Maybe you'll be lucky and she'll be sick and you'll have to run over and see her.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You must know a really dark bar where no one will see us.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Sure, why take any chance on anyone seeing you with me.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "As you can see, I eat anything.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I was just trying to make it easy on you.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Fat chance.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Do you like clams oreganata with eggplant?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Rich people probably like them. Rich people like anything that's small that tastes weird.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "The management requested it.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I once went out with a girl who pulled a knife on me, robbed me and threw me out of her car on the New Jersey turnpike. I have to think about that now as a medium date.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Am I what you pictured, Bobby? Yeah, more or less. More.", "c": ["Angela", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Maybe Alex will give you her number. You could call her up for tomorrow night. Oh, no. Thank you very much.", "c": ["Bobby", "Latka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "'cause nobody trusts nobody. Except you. Everybody trusts you.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Everything go all right in the ladies' room?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "One of the guys told a joke.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You could have held out. I was almost ready to believe you.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I'm one of the few women in New York who's safe on the streets.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "They give you a little dinner, they think they own you.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Did you said foreigner?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You better smile when you do that, buddy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I accept your apology.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Hey, Alex, did you score?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Looking good, per usual...", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I prefer my women 'H and H'... Homely and hot.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You're really a poet, you know?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I tried to take her blouse off. It's not my fault she feels sick so why shouldn't one of us have a good time, right?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Every time I talk to you, Louie I feel grateful that I haven't eaten yet.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Maybe Angela ate her.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm walking away from a car wreck with a person trapped inside.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Yeah, he'll probably just blow it on rent or food or something.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You want to pop the veins in my head?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "What are you doing this time praying nobody will be home?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Good, so far it looks like I haven't been missing anything.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "You mean falling in love?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Now, feel free to jump in and stop me anytime.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "and dropped ten or 70 pounds.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I haven't been romantically involved in eight years and I'm not about to break my streak right now.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "I can't believe you came all the way back here just because you forgot to give me the 'let's be friends' speech.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Hey, Angela, I think we had a normal moment there.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "No. A half an hour.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Blind Date"}, {"t": "Do you mind the dog being in the cab, do you? / No. He doesn't mind me being in it, does he?", "c": ["Passenger", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "You can probably guess why I call him Hamlet. / Grew up in a small town? / No. Because he's a Great Dane.", "c": ["Passenger", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "\"O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!\"", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "That's okay. If he thinks of something to say later on he can call me.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "I said paw, not floor.", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Don't hit the dog in my cab.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Let me go, Tony. I got to hit something. / Hey, what are you crazy? / I can see you're upset, but, uh, don't hit that. You could really hurt yourself.", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Hit me. Here, in the stomach. Go ahead. / I can't do that. / Come on, don't worry about it. I'm hard as a rock. I do 200 sit-ups a day.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Oh, Tony! I'm sorry. Are you okay? / I'm fine. I'm fine. / Hey, listen, if it makes you feel any better, I feel great.", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Is it all right if John uses the toilet? / Just lay off, Louie, okay?", "c": ["Louie", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Where did you come from, Bobby? / The Bronx.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "What dog? / Well, that dog. / That's my dog. / I don't see any dog. What dog are you talking about?", "c": ["Cabbies", "Dog Owner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Do old ladies get mugged? / Well, that dog is my dog, and I want him now.", "c": ["Dog Owner", "Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Uh... yeah... I got something in my eyes. I can't see anything. Anybody got a dollar bill I could wipe the sweat out of my eyes?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Sure, you want somebody to talk to you? Yeah. Latka.", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "I didn't get the part, Hamlet.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "I'll let you have him, but only 'cause your dreams are crashing around you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "If you want to find a good job acting, find a line to stand in.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "\"My broker is EF Hutton, and EF Hutton says...\"", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "You, uh, think I got a shot? / Yeah, you got a shot!", "c": ["Bobby", "Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Did you get the commercial? / Just wait a minute. / Are you going to tell us or not? / Well, wait till everybody's inside. / Did you get it? / I didn't get it! / What? / So what are we celebrating, then?", "c": ["Multiple Cabbies", "Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "You got your first acting job? / Not yet! / Yay! Yay! Yay! / What?", "c": ["Multiple Cabbies", "Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no. / Latka, if you don't mind, I'll make the toast.", "c": ["Latka", "Bobby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Well, that's simple logic. You see, when you're good at something you end up doing it. Now, I'm not going to end up acting unless I get a phone call before midnight. So... I'm gonna get a call before midnight.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "So what if you're falling off the cliff? The view is wonderful on the way down.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Maybe you're not that good. Yet.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "it feels like, uh... like my father just died again.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "You still say I'm not such a good actor?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 9.01, "im": 9.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "You bastard.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Now, baby, ring. Come on, ring. Blap. Blap.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Maybe your watch is off. / No. / It has to be by my watch.", "c": ["Elaine", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, zero. Zero.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Aw, what the hell. I'll give myself another three years.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Why don't you just stand them at a distance and let them call the dog? Whichever one he goes to gets the dog, right? / This guy ought to run for borough president.", "c": ["Police Officer", "Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "What was that all about? / I just want to make sure no one's carrying any meat.", "c": ["Someone", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "Hey, man, why would he do that? Go with the guy that beats him? / It's his dog! It's his dog! It's his dog!", "c": ["Someone", "Multiple People"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Bobbys Acting Career"}, {"t": "It's okay, I guess. Why am I being modest? I'm alone. It's perfect.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "I bet you're wondering how you got a cab so fast in this rain. Well, it's because I've been sitting here admiring this window display. You see, I work here part-time at this art gallery.", "c": ["Elaine", "Passenger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "You charmed me into it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Thanks, but I've seen Jersey.", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Rape... rape... rape!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "You may have a little trouble getting that story to stick when the police find out I'm the National Secretary for the Gay Liberation Force.", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "He's faster than he looks.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Did I tip my hand again? Only to the trained eye.", "c": ["Tony", "Other"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Hey, Bobby, she thinks she had a bad fare. What happened? I had the QANTAS koala bear get carsick in my cab. And you don't want to know what a koala bear does when he gets carsick.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Yeah. You mean the place where you work as a receptionist.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "No wonder you're down. You realized your lifelong ambition.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "How can I turn down an invitation like that?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "I don't lie. I fudge.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "The liar's punishment is not that he is not believed but that he cannot believe anyone else. John, George Bernard Shaw said that. He did? Your father was George Bernard Shaw?", "c": ["John", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "'Cause we're nobodies. We're stupid, ignorant, low-life cabbies.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "John, George Bernard Shaw said that. He did? Your father was George Bernard Shaw?", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Latka, in English. If they don't come, I don't come.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Perhaps some of those art-world cuties might want me to pose for them au naturel.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Phew! Who drive a sick koala bear?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "I can only imagine.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Well, you can start anytime.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Ever heard of Betty's vodka? Gentlemen never tell.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Gentlemen never tell.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "12 Cans. Canned champagne? I guess for those macho gourmets who like to crush something after a sip.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "There's always the exception to the rule.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Party overalls... in truck...", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Yeah, I can see that.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "I am... chicken. I don't lie for the simple reason I am afraid of getting caught.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "What are you drinking? Aren't there a lot of phonies here? Let's go to my place. Was it good for you?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "You've been teaching him. Not me. I was going to ask for a copy myself.", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Stop envying them.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Aren't there a lot of phonies here? Let's go to my place.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "It must be the way he says it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "I put out oil fires. When an oil well catches on fire they call me in to put it out.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "All holocausts may look alike but each one has a personality all its own.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "I sort of like fudging.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Well, actually, I had 12 wells go up at one time.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Aren't there a lot of phonies here?", "c": ["Rita"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Well, I'll forgive you if you'll forgive the cheer I'm about to deafen you with.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Thanks. So you don't remember me, huh?!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "Sure, I do. I just met you 30 seconds ago.", "c": ["James"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "What do you do for a living? Excuse me.", "c": ["James", "Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "A man waits all his life for a woman like that. What's so great about her? She's the kind of woman only firefighters get.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "She called me garbage.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "You know how women feel about garbage. Always wondering if what you've thrown out was important so you start digging through it until you find it again.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "She spit on my shoes.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "I'll die if you don't forgive me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "I don't know with those wild stories you're telling, you know?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Come As You Arent"}, {"t": "And he says, \"If I could do it in my living room, I wouldn't have to do it in the back of your cab.\"", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "How do you feel, Tony? Thirsty.", "c": ["Unknown", "Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "So, they say after divorce your life is empty and here I am watching a chug-a-lug contest.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Any time, gentlemen.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Let's get out of here. I don't want to be around when he belches.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "You don't have to ask, do you? No, I guess not. The blonde. No. The one with the white blouse? No. Oh, the other one. See? You picked her out.", "c": ["John", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "I don't think you have to announce everything that's happening in your body.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Say hello. No, I couldn't say that.", "c": ["Alex", "John"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Let's get married.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "It's witty, it's entertaining, and it's got 'married' in it. The line has everything.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Let's cut the preliminaries... You want to get married? Hey, you know, that is better. Shorter anyway. We just improved on the wheel, man.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "You're absolutely right, Alex. Let's forget it. I can't forget it.", "c": ["John", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Sure. What?!", "c": ["Suzanne", "John"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, but not right away. I mean marriage is important. It can't just be jumped into. Oh, I agree; yes. So, we'll get married in an hour. Oh, perfect.", "c": ["Suzanne", "John"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Author, author. Preliminaries... that's the word.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "He said, \"If I didn't have to do it... If I could do it in my living room, I wouldn't have to do it in the backseat of your cab.\"", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Alone... alone... alone... How did I get into this? All I said was, \"I'm going for a beer. Does anyone want to come?\"", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Or have you really had a lousy life? Oh, no. No, I've had a great life. And this is your best time? Yeah. Wow! Me, too.", "c": ["John", "Suzanne"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "How do you stand on bowling? Feet together, knees slightly bent. I use a four... She bowls. She bowls!", "c": ["John", "Suzanne"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "So what do you want to do first, get married, or go bowling? Bowling first. That way, if the marriage doesn't work, it won't screw up my game.", "c": ["John", "Suzanne"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "I used to pull over, turn around, and ask them if they'd like to come to my place for drinks and sex. Oh, yeah, the subtle approach.", "c": ["Louie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Once in 2,312 times.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Why not? 'Cause I could pulverize you. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Unknown", "John"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Remember that girl I met in the bar? Yeah? I married her. You what? Oh, my...! What?!", "c": ["John", "Others"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "John, that was just a line. You weren't supposed to do it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "There we were, bowling and joking about whoever lost paid for the marriage license. The next thing I knew, we were eloping to Maryland in her best friend's Volvo.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "John, do me a favor. Don't say every landmark from here to Maryland, okay?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Yeah, them Volvos are great.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Then we had dinner at this really neat Maryland McDonalds. The food's the same but it's served by people from Maryland.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Then we checked into this really nice six-dollar motel...", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Hey, John, I hate to be indelicate, but, uh... did you? Oh, no, no. We were too excited for that.", "c": ["Unknown", "John"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "She said, 'I will if he will.'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "I said no! But somehow it came out yes!", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "All the way back, we only said three words. She said, 'Need gas?' I said, 'Yes.'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "There she sits, the woman Maryland considers my wife.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "A conservative estimate.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. The next time you don't show up for work for two days, you're fired.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Mrs. Me.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "You get married, you have kids, you grow old, and then you die. Somehow, to me, if you didn't get married, you wouldn't die.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Well, come by the garage this week and I'll give you a tire.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Hey, Rudy, did they find the rest of that rat that died in the beer keg? Go.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "For a buck. Hey, the post office only charges 15 cents. Yeah, and they're going broke.", "c": ["Louie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Or do you want to see if you have kids by tonight?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "You know, I got a 'Dear John' once. Oh, that isn't what this is. 'Dear John...'", "c": ["Alex", "John"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "It's a nice letter. I read it nicely.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Why do I come here so often? I almost never have a good time.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Look at him. Hi. Okay.", "c": ["Alex", "John", "Mr. Caruthers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "If you tell me what it is you want to know whether or not she has told me then I'll tell you whether or not she has told me. I can tell she hasn't told you.", "c": ["Mr. Caruthers", "Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Could you tell her that I'm here and maybe I love her?", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "We've always tried to instill in our daughter the good grace to conceal virtually everything from us.", "c": ["Mr. Caruthers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Not since 1971.", "c": ["Mr. Caruthers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "I believe the notion of love at first sight is a debasement of every moral, spiritual, and ethical value that I and my family hold dear.", "c": ["Mr. Caruthers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "This is no snap.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Is this fun for you?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Well, once you get into it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Hup, that's it! Let's go, Lillian. Mr. Rieger. Right.", "c": ["Mr. Caruthers", "Mrs. Caruthers", "Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "No. Oh, that's terrific. No! Wait a minute! No what? No, I won't get annulled.", "c": ["Suzanne", "John"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "I'd like your permission to marry my wife.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "Hey, man, you got rid of her. That's great. No, we're staying married. Congratulations, she's a wonderful girl.", "c": ["Unknown", "John"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Line"}, {"t": "You gave me a dollar ten. Oh, I'm sorry. Too late.", "c": ["John", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Louie's going to play his favorite song. Oh, no. Every time he's in a bar. Yeah. 'The Green Berets.'", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Why is he playing that song? It's different. It's not any better, but it's different.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "He's giving me a feeling.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.49, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "With a twist. Gee, I'm sorry. We're out of that.", "c": ["Customer", "Bartender"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Well, there's a man who knows what he likes.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.41, "im": 3.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Hey, uh, Beverly... listen, I got some bad news. I went to the doctor. He told me I only had 40 years to live. I don't know what to do with all that time, so would you go out with me Saturday night?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "It's because I was kidding around, huh? I have this terrible habit... I like to make girls laugh. Kitchy-kitchy... There, I did it again.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "I mean, if I was a secretary on Wall Street, I wouldn't go out with the stockbrokers. If I was in a factory, I wouldn't go out with factory workers. If I was a nurse in a hospital, I wouldn't go out with the sick people.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "No. You mean you wouldn't go out with doctors. Hey, I have my rules, but I'm not crazy.", "c": ["Alex", "Beverly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Louie, I'll give you a buck, you don't play that song again. Okay.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "So what are you losers up to? That was obnoxious? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, okay.", "c": ["Louie", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "That's the first time I ever apologized.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "So what? I don't go to my high school reunions. Who wants to sit around and watch a bunch of guys sucking in their stomachs?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "I used to just stand there and wait for the last guy to take his shot.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "And the world has never come to an end, but that doesn't mean we root for it to happen.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Alex, you got something on your shirt. That!", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "There was this guy in my high school, Lou Vanelli... He used to tear your chest hair out with his bare hands. Gee, I miss those days.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Okay, get ready to sob your spleens out. I went to my high school senior prom alone.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "April love? Is for the very young.", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "I tell them my date was delayed. She couldn't make it until after her Broadway show's curtain came down.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "If you're trying to make me feel better how about being a little bolder?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "She looked just like a beautician.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "and I saw they had a high chair there.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "I says to them, 'Okay, you did it. You got me good. Enjoy yourselves.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "and make them all eat crackers, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "I'm not sure being a taxi dispatcher is enough to do the job.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "You know, I can't believe you just said that, Louie. It's true. Yeah, I know, but, like, incredible.", "c": ["Bobby", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Sometimes, when you're yelling at me, I can't concentrate on what you're saying 'cause what I'm concentrating on are your character traits... You know, the way your eyes pop out, and the way that vein stands out in your neck, and the spit that gets in the corner of your mouth.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "I'm too complex a person. You can't be me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "You can't talk like me. You can't talk like me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "It's a weird thing. I shot up in college. They wrote it up in all the medical journals.", "c": ["Bobby as Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Who we kidding? It wasn't so hot the first time.", "c": ["Bobby as Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "But what? You're surprised I'm too big for the high chair?", "c": ["Bobby as Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Well, uh, that's one of the purposes of this evening. To figure it out.", "c": ["Bobby as Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Till I stand, and you hear the rattle of $70 in change.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Haven't you heard? The news is full of it. Packs of wild dogs roaming the streets. I just thought you might want someone along to hurl his body at them.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "And they say rejection isn't fun.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Alex, I'd love to come. I'd like you to come, but I know how you feel about cab drivers, and I respect you. I respect you, Beverly. I really do.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Oh, great. They promoted you from busboy.", "c": ["Bobby as Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "That means that I make $20,000 a year. That's just in salary. I make another $40,000 in tips, of which I declare about $10,000, which gives me the equivalent of about $100,000 a year.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Well, not nearly as good, I'm afraid to say. I've only got a civil service job. I'm an auditor for the Internal Revenue Service.", "c": ["Bobby as Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Not a good night for you, is it, Stan? Especially with you being on your way to jail and everything.", "c": ["Bobby as Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Ooh! You even spilled something on your tie. Where? There.", "c": ["Bobby as Louie", "Stanley"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "You are quite a man, Louie De Palma. I figure you're about 100 proof yourself, Sheila.", "c": ["Sheila", "Bobby as Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "That was Stanley Tarsus. Him? He was... Oh-ho! Bobby did it. Bobby did it. It really worked. I never thought it would, 'cause it was the craziest stunt in the world.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "All these mo-mos trying to learn how to do my steps, wishing they were with my girl.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "I just want to touch Sheila's hair. I've always wanted to do that ever since high school. Don't do it, Louie. Why not? What harm could it do?", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Oh! Whoa! Whoa!", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "I don't know about anybody else, but I'm really enjoying myself! Thank you!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "High School Reunion"}, {"t": "Well, we got one, but ours is in the men's room.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "How far did you get? / 'Dear Allen.' / That's 'Alien.'", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "Papers? / Zigzags?", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "You ever see any of the letters Latka gets from his homeland? They have postage stamps that honor barbed wire.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "Some of it ain't even true.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "You should see what's written about you on the walls of the ladies' room. / I know what it says in there. I wrote it.", "c": ["Driver", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "Latka's the poodle I never had.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "I don't think this is a full deck. / Doesn't make any difference. They'll never know.", "c": ["Driver", "Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "They like to be called officers.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "He's under that cab. / Louie! / You swine!", "c": ["Louie", "Drivers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "Fifth Avenue and... I don't know that intersection.", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "You take tongue right out of my mouth.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "Phyllis George.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "That's why I was buying you time when the feds came in.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "It never occurred to him to just drop it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "That's the sweetest thing anybody ever said to me. I think.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "Who asked you?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "Oh, boy, we will be so happy. / No. N-o spells 'no.' / Aw, shup.", "c": ["Latka", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "She's not a hooker. She's a call girl.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "I love you.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "I don't understand why he won't forgive me. All I did was turn him in.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "But it's not absolutely necessary.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "The line to kiss the bride could take a while. / I hear they asked the vice squad to give the bride away.", "c": ["Bobby", "Driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "I've dressed up as everything from Pocahontas to Darth Vader.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "'How...' / Can anybody else answer for him? / 'How...' / I'm up for retirement in two years.", "c": ["Latka", "Immigration Officer", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "She's classy, and you're just a grease monkey. It'll never work out.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "In fact, they even went so far as to offer Latka $1,000 to leave their daughter alone, but he wouldn't take it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "The parents only offered me a lousy 50 bucks. / What was the other thing? / I took it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "The church was investigated and cleared completely. / Cleared of what? / Why go into it?", "c": ["Reverend Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "It doesn't even exist anymore.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "Always. This is my first.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "My mother paid good money for these lessons, and I thought Latka should have some music for his nuptials.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "I bet you all thought I was going to screw up, didn't you?", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "'A part of me.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "This is heavy.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "No honeymoon?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "Boy, America's a tough town.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "What did you do today? / Oh, uh... meet girl. Marry her. Uh, she leave me. It was fun.", "c": ["Latka", "Someone"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Paper Marriage"}, {"t": "Let's go, Rieger. Heave the old tush this way.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Where's your friend Burns? / I want to give him a kiss.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "That's why you notice I never fraternize with you drivers. / I thought that was our choice.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Why hasn't the young couple invited me to dinner? / After all you've done for them.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "I am so hungry I could eat a dog. / Not quite, huh, Latka?", "c": ["Latka", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Eat horse? Echhh! / You'd rather eat a dog?", "c": ["Latka", "Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Please pass the salt. / No. Soon. Soon. / He likes salt.", "c": ["Latka", "Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. / Echhh!", "c": ["Latka", "John"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Burns, I got a pencil in my hand, and I'm writing down the words, 'Dinner... with... Burns.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "All I wanted was an invitation. And I would say, 'Thanks, but no, because I make it a policy never to fraternize with the help.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "You hurt me, Burns.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "I'd be delighted.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Gee, I can hardly wait for my first sunburn.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Brown!", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "What's wrong? / I think I stole his line. / I'm sorry, Latka.", "c": ["Suzanne", "John", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Yeah, it goes equally as well with fish or meat or... waffles.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Oh, uh, does anyone know a really long toast? / Vootka! / That's it, huh?", "c": ["John", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Could you please pass the salt? / I'm sorry. I swear it will never happen again. Never.", "c": ["Latka", "John"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "You must give me your recipe, my dear. / It's just a salad, Latka. / You must give me recipe. / I think you'd better.", "c": ["Latka", "Suzanne", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Boy, I sure love these little tomatoes. I used to hate the little guys, but then, one day, boom, I love them. Just like that. I still hate big tomatoes.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Look, I'm all out of tomato banter. Can we try something else?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "You like cauliflower? I always hated cauliflower.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Then you'll go out and save Bambi's mother.", "c": ["Suzanne"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Melmac. You see that? Ever since I married you, I'm too poor to even get mad good.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Let's do this again sometime.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "A little short, huh? / No, a little long.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "How much do they need? / $2,500. / I don't think we know them.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Well, I've been driving 16 hours straight, I've got impossible problems, and my marriage is over. / Well, in that case, you don't look so bad.", "c": ["John", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Sounds like a nice, quiet evening. / Straight to sleep. Do you hear what I'm saying, Alex?", "c": ["Alex", "John"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "John, are you sure you want to talk about this because I for one, can live without it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Just say the words. Be nice. / Just one thing. How do I get her to say it?", "c": ["Elaine", "John"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "It's stuck.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Gee, I always wanted one of those. A couch that converts to a high chair.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "I'm saying, do you want it in cash or a check?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Alex, there's no need for you to go to the bathroom. I know how I feel. / Yes, there is. I know how I feel.", "c": ["John", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "So that's what that silly smile is on your face every night. That's peace of mind. / You bet. / I sure would miss that smile.", "c": ["Suzanne", "John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Here goes. [coin flip moment]", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Oh, John, it's okay. I'll just be a nurse a little later, that's all. / You don't understand. I lied. It was tails.", "c": ["Suzanne", "John"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Just another day in the life of Alex Rieger, super jerk.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Just another day in the life of Alex Rieger, super jerk.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Boy, we're going to have tongues wagging that night. Huh, toots?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "it's a couple of late-night drinks, a little disco dancing, and then magic time.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Okay, if you don't want to ride a rocket to the stars, that's your business. / Thanks. / Of course, if I want to tell everyone you did, that's my business.", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "Okay, and if I want to tell everyone you couldn't, that's my business.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Money Troubles"}, {"t": "How come I never understand a single word you say, yet I always know what you're talking about?", "c": ["Tony", "Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Latka's non-verbal response and Tony's 'Yeah, that must be it'", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Alex Rieger, 180,000 miles without an accident, voted 'New York Cabbie of the Month' August 1977, just rams into a parked car?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "You mean, you had a choice of running over some mutt and ramming into a Cordoba? A Chrysler Cordoba with Corinthian leather?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "And you chose... You made a conscious choice to hit the Cordoba? Where are your values, Rieger?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Oh, good thinking, Rieger. Otherwise, he might not know where to reach us and we couldn't pay for the damages. Smart, smart.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "You have such an elegant way of making a point, you know that?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "$700 damage just to avoid hitting a dog. I mean, if you'd have swerved to avoid hitting an old lady, I could understand. I'm not saying I'd agree, but I could understand. But a dog.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Well, look at it this way... You're not a virgin anymore.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Yeah, I lost my bumper.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "I said, 'Why is that man wearing my pajamas?'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "There doesn't seem to be much point.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "It was nice knowing you.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Help you stay awake, take a few pounds off or do the 100 in 9.7.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "There might have been some smarter ways of leading up to that, Tony. I mean, some guys would have tried to soften me up with a lot of flattery. Or they might have made up some long, involved story. Not you. You just came right out with it.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "That's also why I'm never gonna let you go.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "They're going to reenact the accident. It's company policy... it's fun.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "No cockroaches, Latka. Get that cockroach out of there.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "All right, I got a baby. We'll use the baby for the dog.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Well, I just closed my eyes and tried to pretend it was her doing all that stuff to me. Pretended it was that ugly witch sucking my fingers. I pretended it was that ugly witch blowing in my ear. And I pretended it was that ugly witch with her hand on my knee.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "And then what? I got to thinking... who cares how ugly the witch is?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Listen, Banta, I can make life really rough for you if I wanted to, but you're Italian and I'm Italian. So I'm going to tell you just like I'd tell my own brother... You better smarten up, meatball.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Hey, you losers hear this? This sweet young bimbo just booked $217. A new Sunshine Cab company record.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "I'd shake your hand, but I'm afraid I'd get you hot.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "You got enough I can give the other guys?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "You better take another one.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "What headache?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "I don't feel any different then I ever felt. I seem to keep talking, you know? But I've talked before and even if I am talking more now than I usually do, I could stop anytime I want. There, I just stopped. I just stopped again.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Hi, Bobby! Hi, Elaine! Hi, John! Hi, Louie! ... Right... bye, Louie. Bye, John! Bye, Elaine! Bye, Bobby! Bye, Tony!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "\u266a Bye-bye, love, bye-bye, happiness \u266a \u266a Hello, loneliness \u266a \u266a I think I'm going to die. \u266a", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Now, let me think about that. I thought about it. It was nice working with you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "That I don't even have to think about. Bye-bye, Bobby.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Why you quitting? Sounds good enough for me.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Get back, get back, all of you! Get back! Now, listen to me and listen to me good. I'm drawing a line here. Now, you see that line? You see it? Look at it, look at it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Because if just one of youse steps one foot across that line, I'll have to fire her.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "And if you go out to eat, you're going to find me there, too. And if you go to the movies or you go bowling, just look around, because, baby, I'm not giving you up.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Psychologists, they got a term for people like you. What is it? Uh... Oh, yeah... you got a screw loose.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "I love you when you're like this.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Him.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "I prefer to think of it as an alternative lifestyle.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "To get rid of you, I'd marry him.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "What do you mean, stoop so low?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "Boy, am I going to be sick tomorrow.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Men Are Such Beasts"}, {"t": "80 People. Wow! Yeah, they got this really long counter at Woolworth's.", "c": ["Character discussing Christmas plans"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "I'd go crazy if I had to spend Christmas alone. You are spending Christmas alone. I am?", "c": ["Two characters discussing Christmas plans"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "I got feelings. Really? My mother's that way. Cries every Christmas on account of my little brother Nicky never comes to see her. I'll give you the same advice I give my mom when she cries. I say, 'Ma, shut up.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "I always knew you could be tender.", "c": ["Another character responding to Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Ma stayed up all night crying. It was really hard on me. I'll bet. Yeah, I hated having to put her out in the hall.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Come here. I want to introduce you to some of my inferiors.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "He never shows her any affection or consideration. Like me, I'm always saying stuff like, 'How you doing, Ma?'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "She cooks something, and I don't like the way it tastes, I never spit it out. I always tell her, 'Take another crack at it.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "she freezes up on me, Oh. You know? And she needs to go someplace where it's warm so she can thaw out.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "'Nicky, I'd really love to see your apartment in Vegas before I die, because if I don't I'll put a curse on you from my grave.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Come on, give him a buck, everybody.", "c": ["Character organizing collection"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "I might have a New Year's eve gig for you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "How come? I don't know... tradition?", "c": ["Characters discussing party"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "You do exchange Christmas gifts, don't you? We do now.", "c": ["Characters realizing gift obligation"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "You only been gone ten minutes. It takes ten minutes to drive there and back. What'd you expect, me to spend all afternoon with her?", "c": ["Nick", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Hey, crazy lady, give me a break here.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "No, Mrs. De Palma, I don't know why people have children.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Nicky was a difficult birth, huh? No, no, please. Mrs. De Palma, don't tell me all the medical details. I'm really not a medical man, please.", "c": ["Alex", "Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Nicky used to pull the what off flies?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "You either take Ma with you when you go, or you leave town an only child.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "You hear the way she screeches? Sometimes when she's going real good, dogs come from all over.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Separate tabs.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "about Ma, about me, about Nick, about Ma and me, about Nick and me, about Nick and Ma.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Thank goodness you don't have a bigger family.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Do you know that I played the elf in the Christmas pageant every year till I left for the Army? I never got to play the parts that I wanted to play... Angel, shepherd, room clerk...", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "The guy who said, 'No room at the Inn.' Oh, that room clerk.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "I want him wiped out, Alex crushed, destroyed, humiliated... for Ma.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Ace. Now I lost enough.", "c": ["Character at poker table"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Hey, could I have my shoes back? Yeah, but you can only borrow them till I'm done here.", "c": ["Losing player", "Nick"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "You're bankrolling him against me, your own brother? Jeez, Louie, I always knew you resented me and all of that but I never knew you had it in you to do something like this. You're all right.", "c": ["Nick", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Maybe you better tell them to start without me.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "I once played for 72 hours in a row. Hey, 72 hours. That's like my fight with Rocky Santocuore. Your fight with Santocuore lasted four minutes. I'm talking about my recovery.", "c": ["Nick", "Other character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "I'm reasonably sure.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "You said it was your life savings, Louie. I lied... I do that sometimes.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "What do you give me for a $300 watch? $80. Great, I only paid $50 for it.", "c": ["Alex", "Nick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "You want me to bet Ma? You win? You're off the hook. You lose? You take her with you.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "You're betting on our own mother. Right. $300, Two weeks.", "c": ["Nick", "Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "100 is for hugs and kisses every day she's there. $50, You take her out to dinner twice a week to someplace fancy, not no taco palace. And the last $50 you take her to one of those splashy floor shows they got out there.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "not no taco palace", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "It's $4,350, three weeks in Vegas six meals, one floor show, one plane ticket, one watch and a pair of shoes. Oh, yeah, and the hugs and kisses.", "c": ["Scorekeeper"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "Three sixes, you lose. I lose? You lose! I'll have Ma packed and waiting for you.", "c": ["Alex", "Nick", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "\u266a Hallelujah! \u266a", "c": ["Garage crew"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "A Full House For Christmas"}, {"t": "It's a full moon. You know what that means. Every creep in this city will be out tonight.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Well, be sure to wear a jacket, Louie, it's getting chilly.", "c": ["Rieger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "You think you're a real Jan Murray, don't you, Rieger?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Shea stadium, please. / There's no game tonight.", "c": ["Dee", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "I didn't ask for the schedule, thank you.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Old Ebbets field looked good even in the dark. / Lady, I didn't build the place, I just... / Well, never mind, never mind.", "c": ["Dee", "Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "I know a place at the end of one the runways where the big ones come down so close the lights shine right in the window and you can hear them lower their landing gear", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Hey, full moon...", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "That's the closest one yet, Alex. / Yeah, I think he left some rubber on the roof.", "c": ["Dee", "Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Do you do this often? / Oop! That was a question, I'm sorry.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "You should have used the express line.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Got you that time, huh?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Everything is on our way.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "On a Woolworth's pension?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "There's a moral in there somewhere.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Alex, you set a new record. / Well, thank you. I couldn't have done it without you.", "c": ["Dee", "Alex"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Well, thank you. I couldn't have done it without you.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "You see, it's like this: I don't give a rat's corpse whether you get a clean cab or not.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Oh... okay. Thanks for explaining it to me. / I enjoyed it.", "c": ["Driver", "Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, and one guy who thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "For 26 bucks I'd drive around and sing 'You Light Up My Life.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "I know. I'm eating. / So you are. / No... I mean, I'm eating.", "c": ["Jim", "Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "I hope I am, because the only thing I can think about is the fact that my hair is growing all the time.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "I'd kill for a Twinkie.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Alex, who am I spilling my guts out to?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Whoever brought her in, get her out.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "I bet you're Louie. Am I right? / Sell it someplace else, sister. / I am right.", "c": ["Dee", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Old age is a funny thing. I woke up this morning, found myself wanting blue hair.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Well, don't rush into anything, Dee.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Pretty slick, huh?", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Well... I miss George's crapola.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "being poor was best left to people with no money.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Oh, now, Dee I am not going to take $100 from you. Now, look right at me. I'm not taking $100 from you. / Oh, please don't say no. Makes me feel patronized. / Okay. You win, I lose. So why don't I feel worse?", "c": ["Alex", "Dee"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Well, maybe money doesn't mean that much to me. What's important to me is what I can buy with my money: Nice food, nice clothes, nice people.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "You know, Alex, when I first got this job, everyone told me that the best fares were in the upper 80s. I thought they were talking about streets.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Customer... she's the mother lode.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Did Mommy Warbucks raise your allowance?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "That broad is older than the continental shelf!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Her age would make a good bowling score!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Oh, Alex, be a dear and take the kitty out for a wee-wee.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "That's hot coffee!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.58, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Well, Happy Birthday, early or late, however you want to call it.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "My God, I know everybody here.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? / Oh, dear. I mean... I mean the one with the white carnation in his lapel.", "c": ["Alex", "Dee"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "You may not see any smoke, but I happen to know there's a fire in that furnace.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "I'll just be over here holding up the wall.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "That's the only thing foxy about her.", "c": ["Ramon"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Yeah. I wonder when the government will get around to socialized Maserati tune-ups?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Call me, uh, Tandalayo.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "You mean you're dating grandma for nothing?", "c": ["Ramon"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Thanks. I like your ribs.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Uh, no, I won the Rhumba contest. I was carrying you.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Wouldn't be the same without the money.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Well, next time you go into a restaurant you tell the Maitre d' if he gives you a good table, you'll be his buddy.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "I know people gave their whole lives to their children. Those children don't even come to see them. If I had any kids, you can bet your buttons I would put them on my payroll, and they'd come to see me.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Especially on payday.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Why do I sound like Joan Crawford?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Aw, don't stop, it was just starting to be fun.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Horse manure, you love me.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "I just hope my stomach can take those dumps you can afford.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Sugar Mama"}, {"t": "Louie's joke about the man who needs a dentist because with his wife 'it's like pulling teeth'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "After the long joke, Latka asks 'So that means it's all right to go to the dentist?' and Louie says 'No, no, no way'", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Latka panics and asks 'Where is the yakabye?' thinking it's an emergency", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Latka tells arriving character 'too bad... You miss Yakabye drill'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "About Tony's date who wanted to be a boxer: 'I never want to see her again especially in the ring... I wouldn't have a chance'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Latka about watching football at Alex's apartment: 'It's better than watching it on television'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "About New Hampshire boxing: 'Do they have a lot of middleweights in New Hampshire?' 'Three. The guy I'm fighting just took the title away from his father.'", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Alex's comment: 'You're not just fighting a champ... You're fighting a whole dynasty.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Tony about his fish: 'I bought them with the purse from my first big win... $3.00'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Latka's reaction to his toothache and getting permission to go to dentist, thanking Louie and saying people say bad things about him but...", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "About Bobby's sparse kitchen: 'There's only a loaf of old bread in here. We could have beer and toast.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Latka's response: 'No, thank you. I'm trying to watch my babas.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Bobby about Dominique: 'You know, she turned down Warren Beatty. Imagine that. Me and Warren being turned down by the same girl.'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Latka about football teams: 'Well, you see, because this team here is called the Giants, but they are not bigger than the other team.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Latka continues: 'And also, this team is called the Redskins, but they are almost all black.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Phone conversation confusion about how many people are rooting for Tony, escalating from 'three of us' to 'five of us'", "c": ["Alex", "Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Latka about instant replay: 'You know, in my country, they don't have instant replay. They just make them do it over again.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Visual gag: The fish floating on their backs, clearly dead", "c": ["Bobby", "Latka", "Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Bobby's explanation for the fish deaths: 'Well, I guess it was just their time, huh?' and 'Maybe it was one of those murder-suicide things.'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Louie's immediate response when Tony arrives: 'Bobby killed your fish.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Tony's castle gift for his fish with 'Scranton' written on it", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Tony's speech about his fish: 'them fish are like symbols... of, like, survival. If them little fish can survive in this world than so can I.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Alex's response when asked how the fish looked: 'Peaceful.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Bobby arriving with replacement fish: 'I had to go to four stores before I could find two that matched exactly.'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Tony: 'Hey, where are they?' realizing his original fish are missing", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Bobby's confession: 'Tony, I forgot to feed them yesterday and when I came home they were...'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Bobby's attempt at comfort: 'I think they went in their sleep.'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Bobby's plea: 'if you want to slug me... just not in the face. I got an audition.'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Louie: 'He booked 90, fish killer.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Louie's immediate taxi booking comment: 'Hey, buddy, you need a quarter? I got it.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Elaine asking 'How many?' about Tony's rejections, Louie responding 'So far... 12.'", "c": ["Elaine", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Alex's argument to convince Tony: 'Because I think the fish would want it that way.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Tony's philosophy: 'I mean, there are guys I don't even like that treat me better. One guy I hate treats me almost as good.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "About replacement fish: 'It's a dog's life.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Tony almost destroying Bobby's lucky shirt, then realizing: 'Gee, I just remembered... It's my shirt.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Tony's rambling philosophy: 'A guy can do what he can do, and he can't do what he can't do, so if a guy doesn't do what he can't do, what are you going to do?'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Bobby correcting fish names: 'George and Wanda!' 'Wanda! The least you could do is get their names straight! Wanda!'", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "The reconciliation moment: 'Wendy, Wanda.' 'Oh... I love you guys.'", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Bobby's promise: 'From now on, when I say something I'm going to do it, and that's that!' followed immediately by abandoning his friends", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Bobby's decision to abandon Dominique for the guys, despite his earlier resolution about not letting people down", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Tony's final gesture: feeding the mounted fish", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "Tony's presentation speech: 'Hey, can I have your attention, please, ladies and gentlemen? I have a presentation to make. For my best friend, Tony.'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Friends"}, {"t": "The buildup about a forbidden word that Louie hates more than any word in the English language", "c": ["Louie", "Goodwin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "You want to peddle dope, you want to be a white slaver... Anything you want, that's your business", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "I'm going to rip your head off and use it as a radiator cap", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "What do you do, put a quarantine sign in the window?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "One more time... You come dragging in here with that Howdy Doody face of yours and change for a quarter", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "What, see a doctor for a simple... gut-wrenching pain?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "And, you know, about what I was saying before... Don't forget it.", "c": ["Louie", "Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Please come and see me before I die", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "As a matter of fact, I was delivered on a kitchen table by a midwife... Well, half the kitchen table. Dad was eating dinner on the other half.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Well, half the kitchen table. Dad was eating dinner on the other half.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "She thinks I'm out of town, seeing you fight. Who'd I fight? Some kid from Mexico. How'd I do? He knocks you out in the second round. Yeah, them Mexican guys are tough.", "c": ["Louie", "Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "How'd you like a sack of dirt?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "I said, 'Have one.' Oh, you said, 'Have one'? I thought you said, 'Leave one.'", "c": ["Louie", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Good, then I won't have to sit down.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Say hello to God, Alex. No, Louie, I don't think... Say hello. He hasn't got all day.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Well, um... he's not your best work.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Well, I guess you got yourself a deal, huh?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Tell her that I'm on a mission for the government. She'll believe you. She's a little funny in the head.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "As long as you still got one, he could still have kids.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "I got $50 that says he can't make it through one day... Wait a minute, Bob, are you really serious? I mean, you're gonna make a bet about a man keeping his faithful oath with his God? I'll give you two to one. You're on.", "c": ["Bobby", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "It's only money.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "After all, a man is never taller than when he stoops to help a child.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "And nobody can stoop lower than you, De Palma. Thank you, my friend.", "c": ["Jim", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Latka's untranslatable joke that makes him laugh hysterically while everyone else stares", "c": ["Latka", "All"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "What's the matter, you heard it already?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Louie, I had an accident.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "I'll be darned.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "See, it was my fault. I... I ran a stop sign... I forgot to turn on my headlights.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Then there wasn't any accident after all.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "You were testing me to see if I could break my pact with God.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Louie counting out money with increasingly violent gestures", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "You scum! You lowlife! You cretin!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "I'm going to make you regret the day you were born! I'm gonna make sure that every night you get the dirtiest smelliest cab in the garage, and if there isn't one that's dirty and smelly, then I'm gonna get in and smelly and dirty it up myself.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "The most miserable cab driver in all of New York City is whoever lets him down or feeds him.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Looks like you won the bet, Bob.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "You believe in hell, Alex? Believe in it? I work there.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "He's rolled up His sleeves. He's got His brass knuckles on. He's getting ready for me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Well, Louie, maybe the best person that you can possibly be is a rat.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "But we can be sure that just as He had a reason for creating snakes and lice and vermin... He had a reason for creating you, too.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "That's a beautiful thought, Alex.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Back to the garage so that I may continue fulfilling His divine purpose.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Louie Sees The Light"}, {"t": "Take this cab to Cuba.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Did you hear that? I said Cuba, like... like a hijack.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["observational", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Don't you love life, driver? / No, we're just good friends.", "c": ["Walter", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "A-ha. You mean you want to go to... your place. / Desperately.", "c": ["Alex", "Jill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "He's right, you know. You can get killed in this neighborhood. / Well, in that case, let him out.", "c": ["Alex", "Jill"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Did I say something to offend you tonight? / Everything after hello.", "c": ["Walter", "Jill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "My main course was ten pats of butter.", "c": ["Jill"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "What did you think that I meant when I said two hours ago, 'Please, for the love of God, take me home'? / I thought you were coming on to me.", "c": ["Jill", "Walter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I guess this means you don't want to sleep with me.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "You have women in your cab all day long. I never meet anybody. / What do you do? / I'm a United States Congressman.", "c": ["Walter", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Root canal by starlight.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Dad's a major contributor to the party, so, to thank him, they, uh, they ran me for Congress.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "The week before the election my opponent was convicted of murder. / But you did win. / We had to have a runoff.", "c": ["Walter", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "There's talk of a recall.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm in your district. I voted for you. / Oh, yeah? Why? / The other guy was up for murder.", "c": ["Bobby", "Walter"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Latka bowing to congressman and Alex stopping him", "c": ["Latka", "Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "She had to have a little work done but this guy's prices are so reasonable I even sprung for Novocaine. It's my own mother. What the hell?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Said something about having to get up early and change her phone number.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "In my country, women work like ox. They cook, they... have lots of babies, uh... they get old early. They happy.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "In America, the women, they have, uh... they have maids, they dress with nice clothes, they take bubble bath. They happy. / What is your point? / Women happy people.", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "You know how embarrassing it is to go to the presidential inaugural ball stag? I only hope people think I'm gay.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "A woman once said to me, 'I never want to see you again as long as I live.' / That's happened to everybody. / We hadn't been introduced.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Damn it, Louie, you little twerp / She's much nicer than what I'm used to.", "c": ["Elaine", "Walter"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "You thanked me. You thanked my children, you thanked my baby-sitter...", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I guess you can say 'thank you' too often.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I perspire freely. I'm talking buckets. That's why I'll never be reelected. Who's going to vote for a man who always looks like he just stepped out of a sauna?", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I shake hands with people, and they wipe their hands off. They pretend to do something else so they won't hurt my feelings. They, uh... they cross their arms. They adjust their ties. They wave hello at friends.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Could we talk about something else? I'm talking about sweat again. Why do I always talk sweat on dates? It's because I'm always sweating on dates.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "He hates me. / Who? / The waiter. I know when a man despises me and that man despises me. He's going to spit in my food.", "c": ["Walter", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Could we go back to sweating?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "What, they run out of towels in the men's room? / No, that's, uh, that's sweat.", "c": ["Louie", "Walter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Talk about a lame duck.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Well, you see, there's schlemiels and shlimazls. A schlemiel is a guy who goes to a formal dinner party and spills his soup. A shlimazl's the guy he spills it on.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I was hoping you had an answer.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Walter, your menu's on fire.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I think I'll start with the chocolate cheesecake.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Boy, this guy. He is a horse's yatabe.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I never want to see me again.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? You want to go out Saturday night? / Oh, no, Saturday, I made these... / See? See? What about Sunday? / No, I take the kids... / Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. What about Monday? / Monday's a bad day. / Mm-hmm. Tuesday?", "c": ["Walter", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "What's wrong with you?", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "A shlimazl is a guy who comes home from work early and finds his wife in bed with his boss, then gets docked a day's pay for leaving the office.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Listen, Nardo... if you ever grab me again in a non-erogenous zone, you're gone.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I'm drawn to that scrawny little puppy in the pet store, you know, that nobody else wants.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "So I look over at Walter, and he's got tears in his eyes. So then I got them both on my hands.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Like, 'How about a roll in the hay?' Walter's suggestions seem to run toward the blunt, don't they?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "You want advice? You want to break up with Walter, fine. Just go on your own instincts, those same instincts that have gotten you this far... Divorced, poor, working nights, holding two jobs.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Oh. You're going to go to bed with him.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Maybe just a little... applause.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I've never sweat so much in my entire life.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I had a little time to think before you woke up this morning... seven, eight hours...", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "Walter, you want to fly your parents to New York because of what we did last night? / It's a shuttle.", "c": ["Elaine", "Walter"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "How about every Thursday night for the next three months? Is 8:00 okay?", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "It was, I guess, an ordinary evening for most people.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "there are some things a gentleman does not discuss.", "c": ["Walter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Elaine And The Lame Duck"}, {"t": "I'll accept 'dead.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Well, if he thinks he's depressed now, wait till I get through with him.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Don't smile at me when I'm yelling at you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Why ain't he looking miserable?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Bushgalay.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "I play this guy named Skip... We had this argument four years ago and I left town mad, only then I got amnesia and wandered around in a fog somewhere the whole time", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Bobby? I would like to wish you bad luck.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "No, no. You see, in my country, it is bad luck to wish a person good luck. So when we want to wish a person good luck, we say 'bad luck.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "We kick him in the yatabe.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "I can't help thinking of all the people out there waiting for taxis that ain't coming... All the old people, and the sick, and the infirm, and the preggos.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "She cries in every scene. She cries if she's happy, she cries if she's sad, she cries if she doesn't know if she's happy or sad.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Hello.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Gee, what a heavy moment.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "How come they only let you say one word? / It makes it more dramatic that way.", "c": ["Multiple", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "It makes it more dramatic that way. This way everybody will tune back on Monday to see what happens.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "She even forgave him for having an affair with her uncle.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "My mother watches it. / I'd make her turn it off only it's a half hour a day I don't have to talk to her. Yap, yap, yap.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "I hope your career goes in the toilet.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Only one guy ever made it out in the whole history of this garage and that was James Caan... and he'll be back.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "He's dead. Skip's dead. / No wonder you're depressed, Bobby. / Poor guy. / Yeah, it doesn't seem fair. First amnesia and now this. / He's talking about Bobby. / Bobby? / Bobby's young. Bobby's still got his health. / What chance has Skip got?", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Bobby's young. Bobby's still got his health. What chance has Skip got?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Right, she hadn't had a good cry in seconds.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "You'll look like the rest of us.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "I'm going to have his baby. / Way to go, Bobby.", "c": ["Soap opera character", "Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "I saw the show. Har, har, har.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Blow it out your ear, Rieger!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "I am going to make him squeal like an eel and squirm like a worm.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Alex lifting Louie and carrying him around", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "\u266a He's a loser \u266a \u266a Nyah, nyah, nyah \u266a \u266a He's a loser, he's a loser \u266a", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Because... you shouldn't.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "I shouldn't! Oh, no, no, no, no! I shouldn't... I shouldn't! You shouldn't, you shouldn't! I shouldn't.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Nice having you back, Bobby.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "Nice having you back, Bobby.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "\"Ooh, ooh, why, you look just like the poor slob who walked out of here a few weeks ago swearing he was never going to come back.\"", "c": ["Bobby", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "\"I'm glad they finally found a role worthy of your talents... A stiff!\"", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "\"Come on. Gather 'round and see how a famous actor eats crow.\"", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "But I guess I'm just too nice a guy for that.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Bobby S Big Break"}, {"t": "You can keep.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Right at the end of flight.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "She coming right here. Louie give me rest of day off so I could show her around the Big Banana.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Latka, I think you mean The Big Apple. / Oh, that, too.", "c": ["Unknown", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Right, I promised, now I'm breaking my promise.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "I'm not nasty. A lot of guys wouldn't have given you the day off in the first place.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "I'm not doing this because I enjoy it. I do enjoy it, but that's not the reason.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "I'll pretend I didn't hear that.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Poor little Mama, she want to see America before she die.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Mama, my mama!", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "I think I got a date for breakfast.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Oh, garbage strike, blackout, urban blight.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "I'll find out when the next tour is.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Oh, also want to see Yankee Dog Stadium.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "You know, you talk very good English. / You, too.", "c": ["Alex", "Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "You're welcome. / You're welcome from me, too.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "No thirsty.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Oh, my, my, you're welcome. / I marry Latka's father when 15.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "He killed two years later. / Oh, I'm sorry. / Oh, you're welcome.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas", "Alex", "Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Oh, he was a freedom fighter shot by police? / No, he was a police shot by freedom fighter.", "c": ["Alex", "Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "In my country, Alexander mean... one who makes nik-nik during harvest.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Well, that's me all right.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "And yours fits, too. / It's not even harvest. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Rockets? / Oh, no, no, no. Eh...", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "You can take girlfriend. / What about your mother? / She don't have a girlfriend.", "c": ["Latka", "Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "It's always nice to get the news from home.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "The apple machine philosophy", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "So then how do we get new apples, John? / We can't.", "c": ["Unknown", "John"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "It was sort of like, you know, uh, two people being at the same place at the same time, uh, together. That's all.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "If she'd just stop wearing those black dresses all the time... shed a few pounds... get rid of the wart and the mustache.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "If she'd just stop wearing those black dresses all the time... shed a few pounds... get rid of the wart and the mustache.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "What if the mother, well, uh... forced herself on the guy? / Forced herself? Yeah. / I mean, what'd she do, like throw him down and pin him to the floor? / Kind of, yeah.", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "I mean, what'd she do, like throw him down and pin him to the floor?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Latka's mother?!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Just for that? / Huh? No, no, no. She flew in to see Latka.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "About six-foot-three.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "After we were alone for a while, she turned into an animal. / A great one.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "You don't need to explain... Daddy.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "If I were you, I'd think of something else.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "See you later, Papa.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "We are going to be so happy together. Mama cook, Alex read paper, I mow the lawn, oh... Can I have a puppy?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "We are going to be so happy together... Can I have a puppy?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "But, Mama, if you play nik-nik with Alex, then you must marry. It's the only way to save the family honor.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Oh, goat droppings.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "If you don't marry Alex, then you're... you're a kakbort.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "My mother's off-limits.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "My mother's off-limits.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "You mean, not even indoors?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Brefinish. I make myself. Make a good anti-freeze, let me tell you. No, eats... eats the pipes.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "My mother's 67 years old. / Then not do for sure.", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Not even when the Dallas cheerleaders are on?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Globnik. 'To pretend or assume some event or occurrence never took place.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Pretend what never happened? / Beats me. / Me, too.", "c": ["Latka", "Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "Abbee, abbee, abbee, abbee, dabbee, dabbee, dabbee, dabbee, eicky, eicky, eicky, eicky, bicky, bicky, bicky, bicky, eh... sappee, sappee, sappee, sappee.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "I just missed my royal pipik.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "Mama Gravas"}, {"t": "What kind of heel you think I am?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "You're a sick person.", "c": ["Driver"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "What makes you think it was a Jew? / Oh, uh, just a hunch.", "c": ["Bobby", "Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Oh, thanks. I got them on sale. You like them?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I don't know if the same old saying applies to getting shot off a horse.", "c": ["Driver"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Hey, Louie, I got a tattoo. / Oh, yeah, and losers.", "c": ["Tony", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Sorry, off duty. I'll pick up the next one.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Next one that doesn't have a safety pin through his nose.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Well, it's not Sneezy.", "c": ["Fake Priest"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "No, I don't think it is Sneezy.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "The tongue is mightier than the sword. / Talk like that's a good way to get your tongue cut off.", "c": ["Jim", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "What's the matter with you? / I'm having a heart attack. / Well, have it somewheres else. I could've tripped and broke my neck.", "c": ["Louie", "Bobby"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "See? I convinced him. / Yeah. Play some rummy?", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "You're not used to criticism, are you?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Because who cares about money when people's personal feelings are involved?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody, I'm quitting. / What?! What for? / Well, it's very simple. I'm scared.", "c": ["Alex", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "You're a lily-livered, yellow-bellied, namby-pamby, mealymouth chicken!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "You're right, Louie.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "You could make cheese. / Why would I want to do that? / Somebody has to.", "c": ["Bobby", "Alex", "Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Yeah, somebody else will do that for you.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "I mean, a guy leaves the neighborhood, you see him more than when he lived next door.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "My car goes fine, why do you ask? / I'm sorry, we don't serve herring, but I can recommend the escargot.", "c": ["Waiter", "Waiter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Dr. Wheeler? / Well, it's easier to get reservations at joints like this if they think you're a doctor.", "c": ["Elaine", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "So, uh, how'd that heart job go this morning, Doc?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "There ain't even no gum stuck to this table.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Will you keep your drawers on, lady? The guy's got six tables. He can't be everywhere at once.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "With cheese.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "However, on the other hand being a waiter, nobody goes like this to me.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Of course, as a cab driver, my time is my own... But of course, you know, as a cab driver, somebody goes like this to me.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, but that's one in a million. Big deal. One time, you know?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Joker!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "This is very depressing.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "They love the appetizer.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "Aw, what the heck. Might as well take a chance.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Tastes Death And Finds A Nice Restaurant"}, {"t": "You didn't even notice I wasn't here? / I don't even notice you now.", "c": ["John", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "What finals? / Do I have the right garage?", "c": ["John", "Unknown driver"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "You know, if he really applies himself and concentrates, one day he could be as big as Brando, Pacino... me, you know.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Bob, maybe there's a part in this movie for you. / Gee, why didn't I think of that? (mutters)", "c": ["Unknown driver", "Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "How come you're more interested in my life than I am?", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "We look like a bunch of groupies. Don't hang around the door. / Well, what do you want us to do, Bobby? / I don't know. Do what you normally do. Act natural, act... Play cards or something.", "c": ["Bobby", "Unknown driver"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Boy, this place is thick with atmosphere. / Yeah, well, sometimes the ventilation's bad.", "c": ["Roger", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Okay, clowns, listen up here. And shut your mouths. This man has something to say to you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Was that... satisfactory?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "How'd they part the Red Sea in The Ten Commandments?", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Hi. Can you get me a part in the picture?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "We have a script... but it's not a particularly good one. It just doesn't have any, um... guts.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "That's our Joe.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Some of those stories were just great. / Thanks. Some of them even happened.", "c": ["Roger", "Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Has anyone ever told you you... look a little like a young Lana Turner? / No. / 'Cause you don't.", "c": ["Roger", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "I'm going to sit in the first row of the fight, and I'm not even going to have to get knocked out of the ring to get there.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "It turns out instead of taking him to 54th Street, I'd taken him to 53rd Street. When we found out, you know, we were both so amused, we just sat there and laughed.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "As any of us would, John.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Why don't you write them all down as they occur to you, then scoop them up in a big pile. Then bring them to me, and I'll see that they get just the treatment they deserve. And fast.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "What's it worth to you to find out?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "They use horse meat for hamburgers. / You're crazy. / Take my word for it. / Who are you? / The cook at Mario's.", "c": ["Unknown driver", "Unknown driver 2", "Cook"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Or by taking no answer for an answer.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "That's because he's been dead for two years. / Never mind, Ben.", "c": ["Louie", "Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "All those in favor of keeping Ben Goretski as our shop steward say 'aye.' / ALL: Aye! / Ben... if you can hear me, congratulations.", "c": ["Unknown driver", "All drivers", "Unknown driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Great, great. / Yeah? Who won? / I don't know. Lea and I left early.", "c": ["Tony", "Unknown driver", "Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "He said they were very interesting, but they weren't really right for the movie. He said they were more like television.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "If I hadn't been selling the leftovers to Mario's, this week would have been a total loss.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "If your caterer is missing any silverware, I had nothing to do with it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "A bribe?", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Well, that's not exactly the sort of figure that I had in mind, but... what the heck? You got yourself a deal.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Hey, Louie... what sort of figure did you have in mind? / I was going to ask him for $25. (shouts)", "c": ["Unknown driver", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "But, uh, I don't think she has any more.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "He's at Burger King.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Make it twins!", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "You can't cancel this picture. I already told my mother about the $15,000. She thinks we're moving to Queens.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "I'm warning you, you cancel this picture, you're going to wake up tomorrow with one of your horses' heads in your bed.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "you cancel this picture, you're going to wake up tomorrow with one of your horses' heads in your bed.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Can you believe that? He hung up on me. The nerve of some people.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "As long as a man has his pride and his dignity, it doesn't matter what this rotten world tries to do to him.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "Hollywood Calling"}, {"t": "Tony tells story about foreign passenger asking if $100 is enough for a $17 fare, then reveals he gave $83 change instead of keeping the obvious tip", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie's physical reaction to Tony's story - nearly fainting at the missed opportunity", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "You don't have to thank me... It'd be fun.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Sure, I'll take your date out. What's she look like?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "John wanting to be asked to help even though he can't, just for the feeling of being included", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Aah, Alex, I don't know anything about taking care of kids.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Bobby's awkward conversation opener: 'So you're a kid, huh?'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Tony suggests Alex 'do what you do when you were a kid' and Alex responds 'You want me to punch him?'", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie's phone conversation: 'And how fat are you?' to a customer complaint", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Tony's comment about Jason beating his brains out after two boxing lessons, followed by 'What took him so long?' from someone", "c": ["Tony", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie finishing phone call: 'especially you blimpos' while trying to sound professional", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie's self-congratulatory speech about handling 'delicate situations with tact' after insulting a customer", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie's bonding moment with Jason: 'I don't dislike you as much as I do most kids'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie's parenting advice to Jason about smoking, drinking, and foul language: 'Yeah, it's really tough without a father to teach you'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "John's movie review: 'I sat through it three times. It was that good, huh? Nah, I just couldn't remember where I came in.'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "John offering to spoil the movie ending: 'Or was that the middle?'", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "The extended awkward exchange where everyone looks around avoiding suggesting Louie babysit", "c": ["Alex", "Bobby", "Tony", "John"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Alex finally suggesting Louie followed by 'Nah, I don't want Jason to catch his cold'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie smoking his mother's leftover cigar: 'Ma couldn't finish it, so...'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie's mother spilling beer on her dress and being too self-conscious to come inside", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Car horn honking followed by Louie yelling 'Keep your pants on, crazy lady!' to his mother", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Uh, that's my daughter. Hmm... Well, she's a loser.", "c": ["Father", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie trying to bet on the spelling bee: '20 bucks says my kid beats your kid' to the other parent", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Parent's response 'I do not bet on my child' and Louie's comeback 'That's 'cause you know she's a loser'", "c": ["Louie", "Parent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Tony's boxing commentary: 'The first round is always the toughest. You ought to know, Banta. It's the only one you ever fight in.'", "c": ["Unknown", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "You ought to know, Banta. It's the only one you ever fight in.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Guys cheering 'Jason! Jason! Jason!' and explaining 'We're his father' when asked to quiet down", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Lucky guess.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie admitting 'I know... I hate her' when told to give Christa credit", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie complaining 'Why does she get all the easy ones?' about a very difficult word", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Fix! Fix!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Tony's consolation: 'Coming in second ain't the worst thing in the world. Right. Tony does it all the time.'", "c": ["Tony", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie's response to Jason's mature self-blame: 'If I had to choose between your winning or losing and saying what you just said... I'd still take winning, but this was close.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "If I had to choose between your winning or losing and saying what you just said... I'd still take winning, but this was close.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie sharing his 12-year-old Scotch and someone saying 'Whenever Louie shares anything, it's an occasion'", "c": ["Louie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Bobby's explanation about waiting to have kids: 'we decided to wait until we find out how... I mean, how to raise them'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Louie's lament about finding a woman: 'First you got to find a woman... You got to fall in love... get married... talk to her. Hmm. It ain't worth it.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "Alex's long speech about parenting worries ending with 'All in all... it's not a bad deal'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "The entire 'Sonny Boy' duet between Louie and his mother with call-and-response commentary", "c": ["Louie", "Louie's Mother"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Substitute Father"}, {"t": "What am I, an information booth?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "He should have been in? I should have been rich. You should have had a better nose. Life is cruel.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Hey, get away from that cage, Bobby. We're not insured if he breaks out.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "He's worse than crabs. That miserable little loaf.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "He's fine till I get my hands on him and my feet.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "You put her into low, and you know what she'd do? She'd go into low.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "It's like she knew you trusted her.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "What do you need it for? To protect me from muggers. Oh...", "c": ["John", "Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "I should have known then.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "I was in 804 the night I got held up. That was lucky? I lived.", "c": ["Bobby", "Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Oh, uh... sorry. I forgot to lock that door. You're going to have to sit in the back. Or the front. Whichever.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "I just want your fare money, son. No games. Uh, I can't. See, it's locked in a strongbox, and we don't have the keys.", "c": ["Robber", "Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Hey, don't play with me, man. It's in the cigar box under the seat. You've done this before.", "c": ["Robber"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "My gun's bigger. You should drop yours.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "See, man, you don't understand. I do this for a living. You don't understand. You're not getting a dime from this cab.", "c": ["Robber", "Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Now I really believe that we could... We can break through the racial barriers and come to a genuine understanding here, man. You're not getting the money. You pasty-faced, vanilla, lily-white towhead.", "c": ["Robber", "Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "You got a ticket.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "While we were sitting here we fogged up the windows so much a cop came by, gave us a ticket and didn't even spot us. Now, that's funny.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Let's give each other a break and switch guns to the other hand. Okay?", "c": ["Robber"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Hey, man. Hey, you did that on purpose. You got my gun and I got yours. Let's switch.", "c": ["Robber"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Uh-uh. Why not? Mine wasn't loaded. Well, m-mine isn't either.", "c": ["Bobby", "Robber"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "They're stuck.", "c": ["Robber"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Hey, man, you're nuts. Aw, that's it, man. Man, I... you ain't no fun to stick up, man.", "c": ["Robber"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Hey, not so fast. You owe me 38 bucks. For what? The meter was running.", "c": ["Bobby", "Robber"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "You make it 48. I forgot about the ticket.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Hey, now I don't have enough for cab fare home. What's your address? 447 West 23rd street. You take me there? No, I just want to tell the cops where you live.", "c": ["Robber", "Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "\"Heroic Cabby Cracks Down On Crime.\" Third page, 14 paragraphs, small photo. I'd almost forgotten about it.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "You didn't save anybody's life. Sure, I did. You did not. It was no big thing.", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Hey, don't do that! Okay. Thanks.", "c": ["Tony", "Passenger"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "That's all there was to it? Yeah. He has the nerve to compare that story with mine. At least I didn't take an hour to tell it.", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Driver, I want you to take him to the Walden School, this address. Now, here's your luggage, and don't lose it. And don't sell it.", "c": ["Father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "You a father? I don't think so. Don't be.", "c": ["Kid", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "This is De Palma in 804. Taking a fare to the Walden School... Central Park West. Bully for you, De Palma. Two fares in five hours. A good day.", "c": ["Louie", "Dispatcher"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Who's he? My dispatcher. All dispatchers are scum. Remember that.", "c": ["Kid", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Hey, I'll give you another 20 if you let me drive. What, do you think I'm crazy? You'd kill somebody. I'd lose my license. 30? Okay.", "c": ["Kid", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "You sure you know how to do this? You don't steal cars without knowing how to drive them.", "c": ["Louie", "Kid"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "That includes 65 for the transistor radio.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "You don't mind if I say your mother's a very attractive woman? Very nice bagonzas, if you know what I mean. What are bagonzas? How old are you? 12. Bagonzas are feet.", "c": ["Louie", "Kid"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "All right... go. All 50 states. I can't believe you fell for that old trick.", "c": ["Louie", "Kid"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Zero-zero.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Boy, I wish this was a longer trip.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Do you smoke? Camels, unfiltered.", "c": ["Kid", "Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "Hey, you okay?! You breathed!", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "You take $600 from a child? You call that a great story? He was a monster. And I don't care if it was an old lady's life savings. 600 bucks is a great story.", "c": ["Bobby", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "I mean, we don't know for sure that 804 is totaled. Maybe it was just a fender bender.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "John enters completely destroyed with no dialogue - visual gag of his devastated state", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 1"}, {"t": "You ain't no fun to stick up, man.", "c": ["robber"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Either of us.", "c": ["character"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Mm-hmm.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "I quit.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Don't wait up.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "It's a mug shot.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "She's the only one who never asked me why I drive a cab.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "I get them from libraries, you know.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "I mean, like, I just know it's going to turn out you're either married, gay, or crazy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Come on, crazy. Right again. Thank God.", "c": ["Mike", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "What is it, a tattoo somewhere that says, 'I have kids'?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "You don't even know when to lie.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "I'd feel like a call girl. You didn't do anything. I'd feel like a bad call girl.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "What would you have given me if I'd stayed the night? A very sweet memory. You're better off with the hundred.", "c": ["Elaine", "Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "He did. He took no for an answer.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "I had a woman one time with a head of lettuce she said was alive, and she wanted me to ask it questions.", "c": ["character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "I lost you when you started taking two at a time.", "c": ["Pregnant woman"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "With my pelvis, the doctor says I'm gonna drop 'em like kittens.", "c": ["Ruth"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "A minute and ten seconds? In phase one? Here comes another one. You just had one. Well, I'm having another one. That's phase three. What happened to phase two?", "c": ["Allen", "Ruth"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Me?! Listen, no sweat. I can coach you from here on how to coach her back there.", "c": ["Allen", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Coach her, coach her, don't let her coach you. / He's right, he's right. Don't worry about how I am. Make sure she follows you. You're the boss, remember.", "c": ["Allen", "Ruth"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "I'm not talking to you. Oh. Push. Are you pushing? I'm pushing!", "c": ["Alex", "Allen", "Ruth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Marry a man who won't even look at our baby?", "c": ["Ruth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Maybe we'll just get you a bottle of scotch.", "c": ["Allen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Be careful of steering. You know, sometimes you turn... go this way when the car, it go this way.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Brakes are really good now except when it's wet or very dry.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "Be sure don't go over 25 mile per hours because if you do, transmission...", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "On reflection, I think I delivered that baby in 803.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Memories Of Cab 804 2"}, {"t": "A bunch of adults fighting over a candy bar / Hold that thought, Bobby, she's brought malted balls", "c": ["Bobby", "Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "First one is free. Then after I get you hooked...", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I thought that the only thing that could have made it better was you in it / Oh, you noticed that, too, huh?", "c": ["Zena", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Out of the way or I'll call you last for a cab", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "The first Baby Ruth / Why does the first one always taste the best? / How should we know? You always eat the first one", "c": ["Louie", "Drivers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "You may now resume fighting over the stale ones", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "There's an exterminator who wants him to pose for the side of his truck", "c": ["Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Bet you don't even notice how cute he is / Louie? / Yeah / Louie?! / Yeah!", "c": ["Zena", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Maybe I just get turned on by powerful men / Louie!? / Yeah", "c": ["Zena", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "You want him for yourself / Zena says I want Louie for myself", "c": ["Zena", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I mean, who in this garage is going to introduce her to Louie? / Elaine, damn it, she's an adult", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Stay close by me. He's not in a cage for nothing", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "[Long awkward silence after introduction]", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I like your goodies", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "How long you been in this sweets field? / You do it very well", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "It's a free dinner", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "It's just one date. What's the worst thing that can happen? / She could have his baby", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Zena and I had another one of those nights / She ripped the shirt off my back", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "When you're burning the candle at both ends for five weeks straight, you're going to have to pay the price", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "There's only one consolation in this whole sordid affair / I didn't introduce them", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "How much pleasure can one man endure?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Isn't anybody the least bit curious as to why I didn't have time to change this morning or yesterday, or the day before, ad infinitum?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "[Louie making suggestive gesture/expression] / I don't do that / Yes, you do, you do it almost continuously", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Louie making a disgusting face/sound every time he mentions Zena", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I don't even realize I'm doing it. But I'll tell you one thing, Rieger, you'd be hee-hee-heeing, too", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I don't even let people I like touch my hair", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Whisper in my ear and you'll be whispering for life", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "\u266a Macho, macho man \u266a / \u266a I've got to be a macho man \u266a", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "My theory is that, since she's not a stupid person she must see some quality in Louie that we've always missed / My theory is, Zena is nuts", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I have a feeling when I die, they'll put that on my stone", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "So why haven't we? / You mean he hasn't touched you?", "c": ["Zena", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I can't even get him to hold my hand", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I like to be a little late so she's really chomping at the bit", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I finally found a girl who can keep up with me / She's jealous!", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I want you to do for me what you do for Bobby and Tony and the other guys / Well, I am a little short this week", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "20 dollars? Are you crazy? For 'her fault'?! / 20 bucks", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I can't tell you how many told me, 'Louie, this is crazy, I should pay you!' / That'll be another ten", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "She's the first girl that ever did this to me / Don't do that / You haven't got enough money in your pocket for that one", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Oh, Zena's not your first girl, she's your first nice girl / Yeah! And I can't handle it!", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I was brought up believing that there was nice girls and girls you had fun with and there was no mixing of the two", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Break up with this lovely, warm person who obviously feels a great deal for you and spend the rest of your life floating through meaningless affairs with cheap strangers who you'll have to pay", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Great advice", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I got you some flowers / Thanks / I threw them away / Why? / Because that's the kind of guy I am", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "We're not going out tonight / Why not? / Because that's the kind of night this is", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Want me to rub your feet? No. Your shoulders? No. That little vein in your head? No rubbing", "c": ["Zena", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I told her, 'I don't want you moaning on records anymore'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Stop it, Louie. Just don't make up stories. I think I deserve better than that", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "relating to you in a nonverbal manner", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "My friends have been asking me that question, my parents. The doorman's been asking me that question", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "You touch me", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Holy crap!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Take me to the place you cry", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "I can't go in there, Zena! / Oh, open it! / No... I'm sorry", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "Women! / It would mean a lot to me", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "You can go now, Louie / That's easy for you to say", "c": ["Zena", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Louie And The Nice Girl"}, {"t": "If we paid you by the mistake, you'd own this place by now.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Okay, it's a deal.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Louie calls for Ben Geretski multiple times with increasing frustration", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.04, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Louie reveals he IS the shift supervisor that Latka needs to report his grievance to", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "You did the right thing reporting this, Latka. Thank you very much. Okay, now get your foreign butt back to work.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Where did he grab you?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Oh!", "c": ["Charlotte"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "My guess is they dated them.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "To me, New York is just a quiet rainy yesterday.", "c": ["Charlotte"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Starving something.", "c": ["Charlotte"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "I'd rather be the only woman on a Greek freighter.", "c": ["Charlotte"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "I wonder what 'uh, huh-huh, huh-huh' means.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "So don't tell him till morning.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "You're both from countries you have to take pills for.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Okay, I understand, but we're even now.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's a small country.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "She used to beat the heck out of me.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "I'm glad you didn't make me guess.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "I said he collected stamps. Cheap stamps.", "c": ["Charlotte"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Cheap, dirty stamps.", "c": ["Charlotte"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "You beg bad.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "I wish they had sent me to college. Then I'd have something to argue with.", "c": ["Charlotte"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Well, as a matter of fact... he was goosing me.", "c": ["Miss Stallworth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Talk about going with your boots on.", "c": ["Charlotte"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "He must've realized the risks he was taking.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Tell him a few of the things that made him a good father.", "c": ["Charlotte"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Yeah, I remember being really thirsty one night and you just marched right in there with a glass of water.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "It was fifth grade, Dad.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Well, he is now.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "\u00bfQue pasa, que pasa, que pasa?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Honor Thy Father"}, {"t": "Does this look like the face of a loser?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "The guy was climbing into the ring, he trips, falls down and knocks himself cold. Tony won by default.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I had to make it through the same ropes.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "You, uh, remember us? Uh, nope.", "c": ["Alex", "Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I go into the bar, and I tell everyone I am looking for a fight... Well, lots of people offered to help.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "They think I am their brother.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "When are they going to clean those bathrooms? You were in the kitchen.", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Wait a minute... you marry me. Uh, believe me, it would never work out.", "c": ["Latka", "Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. I thought I dreamed that. Maybe I'm dreaming this.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "You mean the whole wedding party was nude? No, just me.", "c": ["Alex", "Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "They, uh... changed their minds at the last minute and forgot to tell me.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "What does it mean? Uh... 'Poor guy.'", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Well, what did you decide? Well, we-we, uh... we thought that-that you might like to?", "c": ["Reverend Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Of course, I can only stay for five or six.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Well, I can take it, if you can. No, no, no, not that personal.", "c": ["Reverend Jim", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I've often thought I'd make a good pharmacist... Oh, I've taken a lot of chemistry.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Boogie down, Latka. Boogie down.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "\u266a Get on up \u266a \u266a Get on the scene \u266a \u266a I feel like a sex machine. \u266a", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Any of this currency?", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Everything I take is by doctor's prescription... Though finding the right doctor can be difficult.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I am the living embodiment of the '60s. Everything that came along, I went with. Even if I didn't know what it was, I went with it.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Even if I didn't know what it was, I went with it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "How many drugs do you think I did? Mmm... a lot. Wow! Right on the nose!", "c": ["Reverend Jim", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I spent a year of my life making a macram\u00e9 couch.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "If I hadn't been there there would only have been... 499,999 people. Lucky thing for them I went.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I'd like to see them try that with disco.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I was finding God all over the place. He kept ditching me.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "What do you say to that? Thank you. You're welcome.", "c": ["Tony", "Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "All I ended up with was recurring flashbacks of the original Mouseketeers... hatching out of seedpods.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I'm sleeping with the lights on tonight.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "What kind of training could he possibly have? None. What kind of skills could he possibly have? None. What kind of job can we possibly get him? Cabdriver.", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Am I coming or going?", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I know guys pulling rickshas that could do better.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "It was either a tranquilizer or a Chiclet.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I guess we can rule out Chiclets.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Zoom, zoom.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Louie singing 'Moonlight Bay' and getting everyone to join in", "c": ["Louie", "Everyone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Hey, is it okay if Jim comes and works here as a cab driver? Sure. Everybody works on Moonlight Bay.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "What color are my eyes? Hmm... well, you can rule out white.", "c": ["Reverend Jim", "Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I mean, if I were in space I'd be weightless. You are in space.", "c": ["Reverend Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "This is the most reading I've done in years. My brown eyes hurt.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "This is the most reading I've done in years. My brown eyes hurt.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Well, hasn't everyone? Put 'No.'", "c": ["Reverend Jim", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Mental illness or narcotic addiction? That's a tough choice.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I think that Cubby's got it in for me.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I think that Cubby's got it in for me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Two things... That they won't issue him a license to drive in this city and that they will.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "What does a yellow light mean? Slow down. Okay. What... does... a... yellow... light... mean?", "c": ["Test taker", "Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.92, "im": 9.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "The examiner said I did real well. I didn't hit hardly anything.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "I've never felt closer to a group of people, not even in the portable johns at Woodstock.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Where are you headed? Uptown... cabby.", "c": ["Reverend Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "That'll be 90 cents.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Reverend Jim A Space Odyssey"}, {"t": "Two pennies, a dime and a Canadian quarter?", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Police state.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Eh, sam-a, sam-a, sam-a-vich, sam-a-vich. A sam-a-wich. No, don't eat the sam-a-mich... Get it out.", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Company property.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "See, this is the Louie I was telling you about.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Oh, he knocked me out in the second round.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Well, I went to a bad play and a short fight.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Yeah, everyone needs to loaf once in awhile.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "From nowhere to almost somewhere.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "I'm wearing her down.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Three. Okay. I lied, I had eight. I lied, that's hot chocolate.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Gin.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "She should have told me that before I lined them with tin foil.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Hey, Elaine, I'll show you an artist.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "I think this one could use more brown.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "You want bubbles? [BLOWS IN CHAMPAGNE]", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "You want bubbles?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "I guess that's what I should expect from a cabdriver.", "c": ["Gallery Owner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Low bridge!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "I can tell a manic-depressive, Down syndrome when I see one.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "The day you were that red and white striped dress.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Very little. I painted it.", "c": ["Dr. Collins"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "I sometimes use the painting to test my patients' honesty. Boy, are you honest.", "c": ["Dr. Collins"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "I think it's a toll call over there.", "c": ["Dr. Collins"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "This is going to be so easy for you, like an hour off.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Nice note. I especially like the flower in the corner.", "c": ["Dr. Collins"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "And if you leave, I'll have to read this article about what rats did at the University of Wisconsin.", "c": ["Dr. Collins"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Talking.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "A sure sign of mental health, right? Right.", "c": ["Elaine", "Dr. Collins"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "So, uh, I guess I'll just have to give up the kids.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Hey, listen, I'm just glad that one of us had the sense to stop before we did something that we would have both remembered fondly for the rest of our lives.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "I heard you are seeing a podiatrist.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "Because I told him I was having bad dreams, so he told me to wear looser shoes.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "And you know, it worked. Boy, this is a great country.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Nardo Loses Her Marbles"}, {"t": "You sure you're not just being humble? (Alex's sarcastic response to Bobby's claim he got the job for being good-looking)", "c": ["Alex", "Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "What's a kebel? / It take 270 kebel make a lifnitsch", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "What's a matta? / I don't know nothing. What's a matta with you?", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "I was just pulling your yaktabe", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Get lost, yokel. / God, I love New York.", "c": ["Louie", "Steve"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "What are the chances of that? / 50-50? / At least.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "I play the only guy at a party without a tan", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "If it's 'brafla,' I have to kill a man. / I think it's 'bratla.' / Oh, good, good. Now I won't need the rest of the day off.", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "I leaned out of the cab to tell this guy he was an idiot and I forgot to roll the window down", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Is this good luck charm in your country? / No. / Then, uh, why are you giving it to me? / I don't want it.", "c": ["Bobby", "Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "He doesn't respect my leadership. / What are you talking about? He's like everyone else here. He fears you. He pays you bribes. He hates you.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Louie, why would anyone go out of his way to deliver awful, depressing news to another human being? / Kicks.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Make it one word. / Is 'super-loser' one word?", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "No time for love. Stop that man!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "He's losing his pants. / Don't you wish.", "c": ["Someone", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Hi. I'd like to send a singing telegram. / Louie!", "c": ["Louie", "Others"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "What's the matter with your face? / Tony, please. / Well, look at his face.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "They couldn't pay me enough to screw up my face like that.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "I guess I'm gonna have to tell everybody that my father's side of the family comes from Florida", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "A fine, understanding, easy-going, level-headed, roll-with-the-punches kind of guy", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you know, if you like revivals", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "What the hell are you laughing at? / Oh, he's laughing at my face. Pretty funny, huh? / I haven't even gotten to your face yet.", "c": ["Bobby", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "I'm not an actor anymore... Since I decided it was stupid", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "And it doesn't have to be anything nice. Just whatever you got lying around. / Oh, gee, I wanted to give you a nice one.", "c": ["Bobby", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Bobby, I appreciate your help, but could you give me a little more? / Actors.", "c": ["Steve", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "I am... s-s-slain.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "[Long pause after Romeo's death scene as everyone processes Bobby's talent]", "c": ["Everyone"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Ho, this day just keeps getting better by the minute. / Worked like a charm, didn't it, Rieger?", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "I wish I had this on film! Thank you, Lord! Thank you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "That light is you, Lou. You're my inspiration... maybe one day I might be able to come back here in this garage and stuff every laugh you've ever had at my expense right down your throat.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Thank you, Louie. / You're welcome.", "c": ["Bobby", "Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Well, Louie, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Wherefore Art Thou Bobby"}, {"t": "Well, If they want to have pants-putting-on contest, I'm in.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Okay, okay, Tony, look, if, if my plans fall apart on Saturday and I have nothing better to do, and I, uh, feel in the mood to be humiliated, I might just drop by.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "You want the message explained, it'll cost you another buck.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "All right. Ah, the explanation is I gave you the wrong message.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Yours will cost you another dollar. But... I'll put it on your tab.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Nice kid, great sense of humor... fat.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Big Angie Matusa, the apartment house with legs.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Hey, Tone, she'd make a great catcher for your baseball team. That dame could cover the plate, the umpire and the sun.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "I'll prepare for her arrival. Open the loading docks!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Some men climb mountains, others date 'em.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Oh, I think I'm gonna write these bon mots down, before I forget them.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Lock up the candy machine.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "The management requested it.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "No, really I'm one of the few women in New York who's safe on the streets.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "They give you a little dinner, they think they own you.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "My God, you lost a ton!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "The only thing that could spoil this moment if Cheryl Tiegs was standing behind me.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "He said I could eat anything as long as it wasn't food.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "You don't know how many pounds I've waited to hear somebody say that.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Nah, I throw it over my car when it rains.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Ahoy, there! Has anyone seen anything of the great white whale?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "She's not so fat.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "But, hey, if you ever bloat up again, come and see me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Make the salad dressing Hundred Island.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "I chased him six blocks and lost him in an alley.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "All it takes is a little, uh, confidence and, um, another nine years.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "You're right, we were here all that time.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "[Alex's long awkward pause when he realizes Angela means him]", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Look, why don't we just go out a couple of times and, uh, you know, get to know each other better and then, uh, maybe go out again and see what happens.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Hey, Alex, aren't you just saying this because I put you on the spot and you're afraid of hurting my feelings? Yeah.", "c": ["Angela", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "And if I can lose 100 pounds for you, maybe I can lose 150 for somebody with a better nose.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "You know, I just wish once we could leave this place together.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Grandma's in center, Grandpa's playing left.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "So far, you're the only guy in the garage who knew enough to bend over.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "You're fat. Just a second. What did I do with that list?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "I prefer to think of myself as portly.", "c": ["Wayne"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Did you say 'portly' or 'porky'?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "el battleshippo wants to talk to you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "or maybe she's eating under an assumed name.", "c": ["Wayne"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "He's the guy wearing the Plymouth.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "I had to stand on a garbage can to look in the window.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "so I went in the kitchen and ate a turkey.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "That blimp?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "The reason I didn't go out with Wayne had nothing to do with his weight. No? No, I think he's adorable. So what was the reason? His wife and four kids.", "c": ["Angela", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "That's cute. Oh, shut up!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "Yeah, but from third?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "You only got two pitches, Tony... Balls and home runs.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "We've got to get back for the second inning.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa"}, {"t": "I quit sucking air through my teeth.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "I'm just afraid of any man who likes to dig and pick in someone's mouth with sharp instruments, that's all.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Don't tell me when until it's just time to go. I want just enough time to get there and not enough time to think about it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Do you know that you're acting like a child? / Oh, yeah, and tell him I want to be treated like a child.", "c": ["Bobby", "Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Uh, I'm a boxer... My reactions are quicker.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Hey, Tony, I'm an actor. I'm trained to observe people closely.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "What color is Tony's shirt? / I don't know. / Alex's shirt? / I don't know. / The buttons on her coat? / Brown with tan marbling and rose-colored thread.", "c": ["Alex", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "You don't pay attention to women... You, uh, collect them.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "How many women have you dated this year? / Who counts? / You. Fifteen.", "c": ["Elaine", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "When? / Soon as I can get to a telephone.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "How come you can't pass up one woman for a friend? / Hormones, I guess.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "You know, Elaine's right... Make it two out of three.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "There aren't that many women that like either one of us, let alone both of us.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Okay, let's agree that we both go out with her, and whoever hits it off best with her gets to keep her.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "I'm thinking of a number... Five. / I wanted five. / Tough luck. / Why don't you draw straws to see who gets five?", "c": ["Alex", "Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Hey, lady! Anything he says... me, too.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "A bonus is something that a boss gives a worker when he thinks he's doing a good job. / Congratulations.", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Elaine, can I speak to you man to man?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Gee, the guy's got the market cornered on everything but pitiful.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Um, I think there's more than nine numbers between those two.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Well, I got that beat, 'cause my date with her was one of the greatest nights of my life.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Nya, nya, nya, nya, nya.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Tony, give it to me, and don't make me do something I'm going to regret... Like hitting myself and getting killed.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Look. Louie likes it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "I just remembered, she's not home.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "He's saying you're stupid.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "He's a boxer like you're an actor.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "O-O-Okay, okay, listen, uh... I'll hit myself.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Not hard enough.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "That's harder than you've ever hit anybody.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "What am I doing? Breaking up a fight between one guy.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "You know who I feel sorry for? That poor young girl. Torn between two losers.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Tony.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Oh, well, that's easy to remember; it's the same name. / It's the same girl.", "c": ["Latka", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Well, could I meet her?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Mine!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Oh, what beautiful eyes she has... / Yeah, we had that talk.", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "She calls me her, uh... Sorry, Bobby... Her tough teddy bear. / Her, uh, smart teddy bear.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Yeah. I haven't seen anything like it since I stopped reading Archie comic books.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Careful, Nardo. If he gets mad he could beat himself silly.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "You have a dentist appointment in 30 minutes.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Ooh, there they are... tweedle-dumb and tweedle-dumber.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Why, Land-o-Goshen, it's Mary Worth.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Dump the both of them.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Dump the both of them.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Gee, thanks, Janet, but you shouldn't have done this. / Why not? I wanted to. / I'm a middleweight. / And it's my watch.", "c": ["Tony", "Janet", "Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "What situation? / Well, I mean, the fact you're going out with Bobby and Tony at the same time. / Why not?", "c": ["Janet", "Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "I'm beginning to wish that I went to the dentist.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Yeah, take a minute, mull it over. / Yeah. Come on, now, take your time. / Go over to another table and work on it for a while. / You know, make it look tough, anyway.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Yeah, take a minute, mull it over. / Yeah. Come on, now, take your time. / I mean, 'cause we're in no hurry. / Yeah, yeah. Go over to another table and work on it for a while. / You know, make it look tough, anyway.", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "How am I doing? / Will you shut up!", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Our friendship could end forever right here. / Eh, maybe you got a point, Bobby. / So let me understand this: Now, neither one of you wants to see me anymore?", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony", "Janet"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "Maybe, maybe by telling you that I was going to see to it that the guy I chose had the time of his life tonight. The kind of night that men dream about. The kind of night that... that would be so good that it'd make a man real happy that he's a man.", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "The person that I was going to pick... Hey, it doesn't make any difference... was Bobby.", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "My tooth stopped hurting.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "I don't know how you did that, but if you are that determined not to go, well, forget it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "A Woman Between Friends"}, {"t": "When I was a driver, I was ashamed to show my face in the garage if I had less than a hundred dollars.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "What I wouldn't give for a garage full of Louie De Palmas.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "I'm ashamed to be in the same species with you.", "c": ["Nardo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "What I need are cab drivers. What I got are a bunch of Jan Murrays.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Get that finger out of my face. No. That's my hand! My hand!", "c": ["Louie", "Bobby"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "I think we better put this to music.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "This is our chance to humiliate the little creep.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Look, Louie, I-I've never tried to talk to you man-to-man before, but, uh, or even as a human being, but let me try right now.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "There're a lot of chickens around.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Ibida! Ibida.", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Makes it hard to cheat.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Never, never, never, never, never, never.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Five hundred dollars.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "The best date of my life only cost me 20. And that included the room and the closed-circuit TV.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "one for the money... two for the show... one potato, two potato...", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Eight fares in one cab.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "I can't stand that little frog. I want to go to a revival of, uh, The Sound of Music.", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "What am I doing? I'm turning into Louie De Palma here.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Why am I talking so loud?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Hey, uh, you don't mind if I rob you blind, cheat you of all your money, and, uh, make you penniless, do you?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Now I'm talking like Tonto. Tonto... Hi-ho, Silver! No, no...", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Your stupidity.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "It was taken when I was sick... and stupid.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Reminds me of a chimp act I once saw.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Give my regards, and a banana, to your family.", "c": ["Inspector"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Besides, she's waving her vegetables at me.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Well, if I run out, I'll push.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "This is my first time in New York.", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Then you must be talking out of your belly button.", "c": ["Fare"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Then you must be talking out of your belly button.", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "You got a lot of nerve calling yourself handicapped!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "You got a lot of nerve calling yourself handicapped!", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "She hasn't said a word in three hours.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Don't think I can't be tender. Sure, I play the tough guy sometimes... but I think you'll find that... underneath I can be... warm... and thrilling. And, yes... a little vulnerable.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Would it spoil this moment for you if I threw up?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "80 cents is a record for you.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "You must be more nauseating on the road than you are in the garage.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "You know, I... I do love Louie. And Louie loves Latka. Thank you very much. And I, also, I do love Alex, too. And Alex loves Latka. Yeah, she's right. Thank you very much. You know, this... this is a wonderful place to work. Thank you very much.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "I tell you... I tell you something. You know, I... I do love Louie. And Louie loves Latka. Thank you very much. And I, also, I do love Alex, too. And Alex loves Latka. Yeah, she's right. Thank you very much. You know, this... this is a wonderful place to work.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Oh, of course they do.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "I hope you all die.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "The Great Race"}, {"t": "Tony claims he drove Neil Armstrong and when asked where he took him, says 'The unemployment office'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Tony shows off what he claims is a piece of the moon that Neil Armstrong gave him instead of cab fare", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Bobby suggests the Neil Armstrong might be a phony, and Tony responds 'if he was a phony, where did he get a piece of the moon?'", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Louie says McKenzie 'had my butt for breakfast'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Louie promises not to fire whoever slept in the office, just 'briefly torture you with a soldering iron'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Everyone realizes Latka is in the bathroom and calls his name", "c": ["ensemble"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Latka!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Latka responds to being called with 'Is occupied' from the bathroom", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Louie yells 'Get that thing out of your mouth!' at Latka who is brushing his teeth", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Louie forces Latka to swallow toothpaste, and Latka says 'Mmm! Not bad.'", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "When told the cleaning lady found 'a strange man' sleeping in the office, Latka asks 'How did she know I was strange?'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Louie tells Latka 'You can work here, you can sweat here, you can even die here, but you cannot live here.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Someone tells Louie to 'take a nice, deep breath and never let it out'", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "When asked why his building was torn down, Latka says 'Because it would not burn.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "When told to go to his ambassador for help, Latka reveals 'But ambassador was my roommate.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Alex describes an apartment offer as 'One room for one night including roommate and complimentary cocktail'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Louie says he threw Latka's stuff in the street himself after Latka thought a 'terrible person' did it", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Latka says the apartment manager wants to 'put me on a leash' instead of 'lease'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "When asked about taking the bus, Latka says 'it's parked on my sport coat'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Alex repeatedly saying 'Latka!' in increasing disbelief at the luxury apartment", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Latka asks 'Why do you keep saying my name over and over?'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Learning the apartment costs $3,000 a month when Latka only has $3,000 total", "c": ["Latka", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Oh, what am I going to do next month?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "When the maid appears, Latka says 'See? It comes with a maid.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Alex comparing the apartment residents to 'the Rockefellers, the Vanderbilts, the Bee Gees'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Latka saying goodbye to luxury items: 'Good-bye, couch. Good-bye, carpet. Good-bye, lush contemporary decor.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Well, I just wanted to say that, uh, we-we'll take it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "So, are you ready for nik-nik?", "c": ["Inga"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Uh, yes, my swizzle stick is a little limp.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Tony suggests to avoid embarrassment of formal announcement: 'Don't leave'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Tony ordering increasingly elaborate drinks from the maid: foreign beer, frosted mug, make it two, peanuts", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Bobby's over-the-top self-introduction: 'A gentleman who needs no introduction... an artist in a world of philistines... our last hope for the life of the theater... a man who bestrides this world like a colossus... ladies and gentlemen, the legend we call Robert Wheeler.'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Alex points out 'that's your 14th grand entrance of the day'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Tony and Bobby both want to bring dates and flip a coin, with Tony calling heads and Bobby saying 'I win. I get the game room.'", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Tony's response to getting the master bedroom: 'I guess I'll just have to figure out something to do in the master bedroom.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Elaine in the Jacuzzi: 'Oh, I love every wrinkle on every toe.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Latka explains sharing in his country: 'You know, in my country, everyone shares with everyone... Otherwise they shoot you.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Elaine's relaxation is interrupted by 'There's a Mr. Louie De Palma here to see you' and she responds 'I just remembered' (tension and unhappiness)", "c": ["Elaine", "maid"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Bobby trying to have Louie turned away: 'I don't recall a De Palma. Send him packing.'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Louie's request to the maid: 'Inga... suds.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Louie's compliment: 'This is a nice apartment. You're going to feel like killing yourselves when you got to leave.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "This is a nice apartment. You're going to feel like killing yourselves when you got to leave.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Response to Louie being locked out: 'Quick, get some boards and nails' / 'Are you kidding? Our booze is in there.'", "c": ["ensemble"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Louie announces 'By the way... you're out of scotch' after being locked out", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Elaine's reason for staying another month: 'Do you know that right now my kids are down at the swimming pool taking swimming lessons, and in the afternoon, they have tennis lessons, and the elevator operator is teaching them French.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Tony's promise about the rent party: 'I ain't making no promises, but maybe I can get Neil Armstrong here.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "At the failed party, someone says 'some of the women around here are real dogs' and a dog barks in response", "c": ["ensemble", "dog"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Alex's speech about not needing women: explains how they didn't need women as kids, then ends with 'I'm going to try to get to know each and every one of you here tonight... then I'm gonna go out and chase down some chicks, of course.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "When Elaine offers to dance, the men surge forward and Tony says 'Just step back a little. Give her some room... Elaine will dance, we will watch.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Tony talking to imaginary person named Don: 'Don, see Elaine dance? Yeah. Dance, Elaine.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Alex tells Latka 'No one with a friend like you can be called a loser.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Latka's reflection: 'You know, for me to live in a place like this has been a miracle. And someday, when things are bad, and I have no money and no food, and I'm depressed, I will think about this month that I lived here, and I will feel even worse.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "Latka's final interaction with the maid: 'Nik-nik?' 'Oh, thank you very much.'", "c": ["Latka", "maid"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "The Apartment"}, {"t": "You don't see me crying, do you? What do you see me doing, huh? Driving a cab!", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "The last lady you introduced me to kept talking about how all the world's problems could be solved if everybody practiced nude skydiving.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "You realize that, in some primitive cultures, that would mean we're married?", "c": ["Joyce"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Bob leaving abruptly after setting up the introduction", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "So, uh... tell me, you cry here often?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "That's one good thing about being a cab driver: You never have to worry about getting fired from a good job.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. Congratulations.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Hey, listen, if I ever have a happy home, you have a standing invitation to come and destroy it anytime you like.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "I'm not going to let this get me down! At least not until I've had dinner with that swashbuckling ne'er-do-well Alex Rieger.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Do you often lose control like that?", "c": ["Joyce"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "You see those framed documents on the wall? Well, those are subpoenas from the Board of Health.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Where's your summer home? I open the windows.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "The vase is from the Ming Dynasty. The Ming dynasty? Yeah. The Ming Dynasty. That's a little shop down on 17th street.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "You're a man!", "c": ["Joyce"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Dear, I have company. Don't come out for a while. She stays in there all the time.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "We didn't shake on it. Right, and I had my fingers crossed all the time.", "c": ["Alex", "Joyce"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Lips touching lips! Yuck! What a terrible thought.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Every time you say something funny I want to kiss you. Oh... I wish you didn't tell me that. I'm going to be very self-conscious now because, every time I make a joke, you're going to think I'm just doing it to try to get a... A priest and a rabbi walked into a bar...", "c": ["Joyce", "Alex"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Do you mind if we just jump to the punch line?", "c": ["Joyce"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "I bumped into a chair and told the chair I was sorry.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "No, you're in trouble when it goes to the door and scratches to go out.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "No, Tony. He's just thrilled about being a cab driver. Oh, I get that way myself sometimes.", "c": ["Unknown", "Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "It's like being on a roller coaster and hoping the ride never ends, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Louie's entire anti-coffee break speech using George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Eisenhower", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "You red pinkie!", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Don't let this go to your head, but you could have your way with me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "You're right. I didn't want to meet him.", "c": ["Joyce"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "I'm going to ask her to marry me. Great idea. What a pro. Perfect. Aw... It's never going to work.", "c": ["Alex", "Others"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Proposing? My heavens, no. I'm running for governor, and this is my way of asking you for your vote.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "You've got candles and flowers and a bell. A bell? No, don't! Just forget that bell.", "c": ["Joyce", "Alex"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "I'm tired of you. No, I withdraw the proposal.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "you better be quick, because you're not the only girl I'm proposing to tonight.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "I have the audacity to believe that I'm good for you.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "I told you, not the bell!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "They came to pick up my violins. Thanks. Thanks, fellas. Do they have to go back to the shop? Oh, that's terrible. I guess they need a couple of tubes, that's all.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "We're fighting because we care too much, and we're breaking up because we don't care enough.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Will you marry me? No! Just checking!", "c": ["Alex", "Joyce"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "Life is like... an ice cream cone. You got to eat it when you get it. That's right. Got to eat it fast. Because, if you don't, it's going to melt all over your hand and down your arm. That's no good. Do you want to go through life licking your arm?", "c": ["Jim", "Others"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "You should listen to him. He knows what he talking about. Thank you very much. I knew I could help him. Yes, that was very nice what you did for him, Jim. Very nice. Well... Bobby's had it pretty rough. Trying to make it as a boxer, and raise the two kids...", "c": ["Latka", "Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Alexs Romance"}, {"t": "They devalued the broknik and the royal family is vacationing in Calcutta", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Ippi Dongpres just set the new indoor pole-vaulting record for my country. He jumped 12 feet.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Yes, but remember the National Sports Arena has a ten-foot ceiling.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "a farmer made a mistake in the dark and tried to milk a billy goat", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Top of the morning! / It's 5:00 p.m., clam brain.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "I think the boss is starting to warm up to me.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "It's okay, Louie? / You bet, Latka. But this counts as your vacation.", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "I might as well have been talking to my wrench.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Somebody shut the doors or this place is going to be crawling with flies.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "I saw a couple of birds do that on Marlin Perkins once.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "He asks, 'Have you read a good book lately?' / I can see the love of literature in his eyes.", "c": ["Latka", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Who was in that one? / Me, Sid and 12 illegal aliens. / It was a real carwash.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Baschi"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "What, oh, sure, you are an American on the outside, with all your fine clothes.", "c": ["Baschi"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "\u266a Ibeeda ibee-dorfnish, ibeeda \u266a", "c": ["Baschi"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "And also because I am a general.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Yeah, but think how he would treat me if I weren't [nice].", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Well, I have to go rotate. / You have to circulate.", "c": ["Latka", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "What happened to Chuck and Matt? / I don't want to talk about it. / They didn't make it, huh? / No, they made it. A year later, they married each other. I heard they opened a roller-disco in L.A.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "'Latka, tonight is your last night here. Tomorrow you go to war, so tonight I will give you my body to use as you will so that you will never forget me.' / No, I wasn't going to say that. / But how about it?", "c": ["Latka", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Oh, it is easy to be a general in my country. The hard part is to be a living general.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "The line forms behind me.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "In the old country, they do it like this.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Now, this is the part where we all strip to the waist and set fire to the barns in the village.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "We'll fight this thing together. I haven't had a chance to prove it, but I'm as good American as any man. / No, no, Jim, Jim, America is not involved in this one. / It is now.", "c": ["Jim", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "No, no, Jim, Jim, America is not involved in this one. / It is now.", "c": ["Latka", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Death to the puppet regime! / But there is no puppet regime. / Who the hell are we fighting? / The tyrannical despot.", "c": ["Jim", "Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "It's bad enough you're leaving the company, but you're running out on America, too.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Louie giving Latka money and telling him to take care of himself after publicly berating him", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Why don't you come and join the party? / No, no. / Hey, Louie... you'd make us all feel miserable if you did. / Okay.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "That was from Anthony and Cleopatra. / Oh. Well, thank them both for me.", "c": ["Bobby", "Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Visual revelation of the tactical situation on the map", "c": ["Baschi", "Latka", "All"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "No, no. Now is time for you to kiss my yaktabe.", "c": ["Baschi"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "I'm going home to watch the Tonight Show.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "I'm going home to watch the Tonight Show.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "Latka singing 'Yankee Doodle Dandy' mixed with his native language", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Latkas Revolting"}, {"t": "I just got this sudden urge. / Uh-oh, you're doing it again.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Do you realize that every time you break up with a guy you paint your apartment?", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Elaine, there must be 20 coats of paint here. It's been a rough year.", "c": ["Bobby", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Let's see, the blue one is Tom, and under Tom was Roger, and under Roger was Eric, and under Eric was... I forget. Looks like a dull gray. My ex-husband.", "c": ["Bobby", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Once in, uh, '65, some friends of mine and I painted my place by dipping our heads in buckets and then painting with our hair.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "We were thinking of using brushes and rollers.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, you know, this is silly, trying to do this and drink beer at the same time. You're right.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "That's all right, as long as we don't put the sound on, we'll watch it every once in a while.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "I got two models... The one-buck model and the ten-buck. What's the difference? The ten-buck takes me longer to pick.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Because the whole thing is just so stupid and corny and high school. And worst of all, it is getting me hot.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "I once wrote a poem for my wife. She graded it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "You could have taken some time with that.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Cascading... cascades... cascading water... a waterfall... clouds... lots of them, white and puffy. You know, clouds... And flowers covered with dew, and trees hanging over, and you and me naked on a rock.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "That is the most disgusting poetry. Just get away from me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "This close to the promised land.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "I don't work weekends. You been gone nine days. Right. Jim. Weekends are only two days. Oh, I thought we'd switched to the metric system.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Yeah, if you consider dark, wavy hair, magnetic eyes and a killer smile attractive. Some women go for that.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Maybe he writes better than he looks, talks... is.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Sure. Is this you, Alex?", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Couldn't find a poem? I couldn't find a library.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "She only wants to know who wrote the poems because she doesn't know who wrote the poems.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "She only wants to know who wrote the poems because she doesn't know who wrote the poems.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "There are a lot of people in this world who think I'm a flake. Who thinks that? Me, for one.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Let's shake on it. We just shook on it. Oh, good.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Can you believe she fell for that? Hey, I fell for it, and I wrote them.", "c": ["Don", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Y-You mean your head doesn't hurt and your tongue doesn't feel thick and grungy, and-and your body doesn't feel like it's been turned inside out? Yeah.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Jim, some people find that feeling very uncomfortable.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "When I was with people, I was the life of the party, but I'd get home alone, all by myself, I'd clam up.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "They're going away for the whole weekend. That's pretty serious... The two of them alone together for nine days.", "c": ["Tony", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Um, Pepe, Carlo, Pedro, uh, Pavlovsky, Carlos, uh, uh, Jeff, Ahmad... Latka. No. The bald guy who comes on Thursdays? Sheila? Sheila?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Well, that's everybody in the garage. So I guess it's nobody. / Yeah... it's nobody.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "I know a pill that would do it. But it has a terrible side effect. Like what? It wears off.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "I was, uh, going to buy you a scarf, but I couldn't find a department store.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "I was, uh, going to buy you a scarf, but I couldn't find a department store.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Hey, uh, I didn't have time for a moat.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Well, uh... your castle has about 150,000 miles on it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Hey, how about, uh, I crash here for a year or so?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "But you are the dearest, sweetest, most wonderful person. / I think you're right.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "Funny thing, there used to be a time when that was enough.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Elaines Secret Admirer"}, {"t": "He knocked you out in the second round. Yeah, but now he's going around shooting off his mouth, saying he can do it in one.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "He says he had walking pneumonia or something that night, you know? Fever of 104. Oh, I hate a man who makes excuses. Me, too.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Would you please send me a photograph, a lock of your hair, one of your shirts, a pair of your shoes and a pillow you've slept on?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "I can't believe that someone would have the nerve to ask for this stuff. I mean, the postage to send it would cost you... It came to $4.98.", "c": ["Elaine", "Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, you mean the one where my face is taped to the body of Miss October?", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "I think he means Zena. Oh, my mistake.", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Look at Reiger and Ignatowski. They think you're serious. She loves me. I am serious.", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "On the floor! What a sense of humor! Stop it, Louie. You're making a jackass of yourself.", "c": ["Zena", "Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "You mean, no more... slave girl and the emperor.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "I'm a tough habit to break. You're a Louie addict. Nobody's been able to do it cold turkey.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "It must be hard on a guy like Louie, not having any friends to talk to when you're in trouble, you know? Yeah, well, who cares? Let's play.", "c": ["Jim", "Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "All he needs to do is relax, rest his mind, get in touch with the oneness of the universe.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Ooommm.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "It worked.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Somebody get Sleeping Beauty out of here before I attach his tongue to a battery charger.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "He's omed out.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Why? Because it's a fire drill. If you don't get out, you're all fired.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "You can spare another human being two minutes of your time. Yes, but how does that relate to this conversation?", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Why? She's punishing them for a lousy childhood?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Just the other day, I was thinking about kids and about a home and settling down, and suddenly, for the first time in my life, all those things didn't make me nauseous.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Oh, that's beautiful. You've got one minute left.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "He's an exterminator? He's a minister.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "We have a longtime awareness that the other exists, and we know each other's names.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "By golly, my watch stopped.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "I don't shake hands with anyone who's so close to my daughter. Oh, no, Mom, Mom. This is Louie.", "c": ["Mrs. Sherman", "Zena"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "I hope that Zena is as attractive as you in 60 years.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Strike one.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Besides, it's better to remain silent and be thought the fool than to speak and remove all doubt.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Well, if it's not, your daughter is hugging a stranger.", "c": ["Mr. Sherman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "That was some joke! Yes... I'm bunching up phlegm, here, it was so good.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "You can stand me up for God anytime.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "It's just that her antenna doesn't pick up every channel, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Like the other night, she's laying in the bathtub... That's a mighty big bass you've got there, Mr. Sherman.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "How do you keep a fish from smelling? I don't know. You cut off his nose.", "c": ["Nathan", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.38, "im": 3.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Well, uh... now that we've exhausted that topic... does anybody want any more wine?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "In fact, my cousin Guido probably had his feet in this a couple of weeks ago.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "I hope we don't have to have a race to the can after dinner.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "The fish again?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "But Zena is the first non-pro I've ever been out with.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Before I met Zena, the longest relationship I ever had was 30 minutes.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "You know what I'm talking about, huh, padre?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "This tomato is the best thing that ever happened to Louie De Palma.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Do I have a choice?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Beth, I already have a girl.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Because if you do, I'll have you killed.", "c": ["Mrs. Sherman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "You can hire people to do that for you, can't you? Yeah. Now, what do you call them? Hit men.", "c": ["Mrs. Sherman", "Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "You can hire people to do that for you, can't you? Yeah. Now, what do you call them? Hit men.", "c": ["Mrs. Sherman", "Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "But you know, it would probably ruin everything I've ever tried to do with my life. And poor Nathan! He would be destroyed, but it would be worth it, don't you think?", "c": ["Mrs. Sherman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Switch with me. Huh? Switch with me. Why? Just do it.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "I assure you, I meant everything I said from the bottom of my heart.", "c": ["Mrs. Sherman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "No, no, we... No. No.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "See? And you were worried.", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Meets The Folks"}, {"t": "Latka's system for betting on horses is based on the temperature of the horse", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Latka won $12 but lost $36, then claims he can do that well 'every time'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' exchange about vices", "c": ["Unknown male character", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim looking for replacement for 'uh, uh, what do you call it?' 'Drugs?' 'No, thanks.'", "c": ["Jim", "Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim wants to bet on a man getting a vodka gimlet from a coffee machine", "c": ["Jim", "Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "'Give him odds.' 'A hundred to one.' 'I can't pass that by.'", "c": ["Jim", "Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Guy orders vodka gimlet but it comes out as coffee, Jim still treats it as a thrill", "c": ["Jim", "Bobby", "Unknown customer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Hey, Jim, I didn't mean to take your last dollar. - Then give it back. - Okay. - Thanks. - You're welcome.", "c": ["Bobby", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Louie's loan has 85% interest and allows him to sell Jim's body for medical experiments while alive", "c": ["Louie", "Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "'You mean after I'm dead.' 'No.'", "c": ["Jim", "Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Elaine holds playing cards while lecturing about gambling", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "'She's got kings and queens?' 'I fold.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Tony folds when he hears the cards have kings and queens, Alex says he's back in when told there's no money", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Elaine's elaborate scenario of Jim's gambling downfall with loan sharks", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim's naive responses to the loan shark scenario - he'll call the cops", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "The cop scenario reveals Jim's drug history and traffic violations, he corrects 'Five! Five lights!'", "c": ["Elaine", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "In the scenario, strange men took Jim's mama because he owes money", "c": ["Jim", "Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Priest says 'I don't do priests' when Jim wants to confess", "c": ["Elaine", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim bet on a 300-to-1 shot named 'On Dasher' because he identifies with long shots", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim spent all $10,000 and says he didn't go into any of the 84 bars between track and garage", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim bought the horse and they threw in the saddle", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Everyone's reaction to seeing a racehorse in the garage", "c": ["Alex", "Louie", "others"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim's reason for buying the horse - it won money for him so he returned the favor", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "The horse cost exactly what Jim had - 'How much you got?' 'And would you believe it? It was the same.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim is giving the horse his freedom, Alex says 'He's a 300-to-1 shot. We can outrun him.'", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim doesn't want to call the horse by his 'slave name' On Dasher, renames him Gary", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "'What's his new name?' 'Gary.'", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Louie's insult about the ugly, smelly, dirty creature and telling him to take his horse with him", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Louie's Easter seals follow-up to the glue joke", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "I, uh... like your place, uh, Jim. - It's... it's you, Jim.", "c": ["Bobby", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim's apartment was 'a fixer-upper' when he got it - but it's a condemned building", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "'When I first got it, it was a fixer-upper.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim gets electricity from an extension cord to another apartment and hangs laundry on it so they don't notice", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim likes living in condemned building because 'nothing can happen to it - what are they going to do, save it?'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim walks Gary in the park and 'those poodle people have stopped acting like they own the place'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Vet wants to examine Jim while looking at the horse", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim uses his table as a nutcracker", "c": ["Jim", "Bobby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim demonstrates violent nut-cracking technique", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "It's 'not true what they say about horses sleeping standing up'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Horse has been sleeping since 'the day before yesterday'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "'I guess winning that race took a lot out of him.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Bobby asks 'Which one?' when told not to wake up the guest in the guest room", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Tony asks 'The horse hung himself?' when told 'he died'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Jim refers to Gary being 'bred and raised to run' in the eulogy", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Gary thought 'in his heart, he was still a two-year-old'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Louie asks Jim to do his mother's eulogy, saying he wouldn't need to change the words much", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Jim Gets A Pet"}, {"t": "Would you settle for Tony Banta... the bum?", "c": ["Unknown dispatcher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "You coming into my garage, you gonna leave me a dollar deposit.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "It's non-refundable. That's okay, as long as I get it back.", "c": ["Louie", "Vince"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "and you were the sixth one that came to my mind.", "c": ["Vince"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Boy, it's kind of like a painter getting a chance to beat up on Rembrandt.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "The stalls in the bathroom... They got doors.", "c": ["Vince"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "I think I'll stick with nervous.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Hey, we make a great team, don't we? I mean, with my muscle and his brains, we can't lose. It's the other way around, Vince. Right.", "c": ["Vince", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "I was married. Close enough.", "c": ["Alex", "Vince"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "His accountant and his lawyer? His Tuesday and his Wednesday.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Oh, I finally made it. Mistaken for cheap.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Nice shot of the wheelchair, ain't it?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "That's it... I know what I got to do. I'm going to give that kid my kidney.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Sure, you've come this far without a brain.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "I look over at my sofa, I see the Rodriguez fight. I look over at my armchair, I see the Jefferson fight. My little end tables are the Camillio brothers.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, wait a minute, let's make that a 27-inch. Ma's eyes ain't what they used to be.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "You know how when you turn over one of those rocks and you see those slimy, crawly things underneath? Louie makes those things go 'yuck.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "We all know that when a loser wants to win, naturally he loses. It's a law of the universe. Banta's proven this time and time again. But... when a loser wants to lose...", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "the only way that he can stay a loser is to win.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Okay, okay, do you think we should get out of NATO?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "What's NATO?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "You want to ask Tony anything else, hail his cab. That way he gets to put it on the meter.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "He still can't count to three, but he'll be okay.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Benny lost to a hack?", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "What'd you hit me with? The ball bearings from my wheelchair.", "c": ["Tony", "Brian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Nah, I've seen your record.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "I'll stick around until you lose one. That could be weeks.", "c": ["Brian", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Too much skating between fights.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "I don't want to interrupt you, I like what you're saying.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "I don't want to interrupt you, I like what you're saying.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "How come you didn't punch him like you punched me? I did better... I got his wallet.", "c": ["Tony", "Brian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "The Reluctant Fighter"}, {"t": "Bobby excitedly shows his play review to the gang", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Don't let this go to your head.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Bobby finds the one positive mention of his performance in an otherwise scathing review", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "The only thing that's bothering me is I always thought this critic was a jerk. I guess I was wrong.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Tony's increasingly desperate attempts to make Brian's getting hit by a pitch sound strategic", "c": ["Tony", "Brian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Rich kids have rich parents.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "They do to adopt me. With a face like this, I'm shooting for big bucks.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "The dimples inspection sequence", "c": ["Brian", "Tony"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Yeah, in this racket you're over the hill at seven.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Brian's age deception being discovered", "c": ["Brian", "Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "I have parents.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Sure. I went to grade school with hundreds of them.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Oh, that's 11 years' experience.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Bobby's second bad review revelation", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Hey, Wheeler, I brought you some Rolaids.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "And Jim becau... Did I invite you?", "c": ["Tony", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "No. I thought it was an oversight.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Wow, did you burn that all by yourself?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Yeah, from scratch.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, that's easy for you to say. All you had to do to get kids was give birth.", "c": ["Tony", "Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Gee, I feel so guilty I took the simple way out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Tony, the only other room is the bathroom.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Okay, but I better warn you... I'm good at this.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "When did you become a vegetarian? When I looked at this meat loaf.", "c": ["Tony", "Brian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "You mean Princess Grace answered my letter?", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "They had to freshen up. Oh, yeah. You told me they do everything together.", "c": ["Tony", "Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Ready or not, here I come!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "I've seen you outwitted by a pop-top can.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Alex repeats Tony's exact excuses back to him", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Oh, they got one in their house.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Who'd build a nice house like this next to a bunch of stables?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Maybe the house was here first, and the horses moved in later.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "I stretched it a little.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Once, I was out for almost an hour.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "And what do you do, Alex? Me? I drive a cab also. And you box, too? No, I just drive a cab.", "c": ["Mr. Brennan", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Oh, Well, what do you want to do? Quit.", "c": ["Mr. Brennan", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Last time I saw him, he was in Alaska selling batteries.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Oh, that's the amount of brandy you're supposed to get.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Well, it's a lot like boxing, only there are a lot fewer people around when you get beat up.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Before I came along, this was their idea of cute.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Name three. Friends, happiness and health. Three that money can't buy. You're right. He's great.", "c": ["Alex", "Brian", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "On your knees.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Geez, what kind of choice is this for an eight-year-old? A nine-year-old. Oh, we're going to get nasty.", "c": ["Brian", "Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Listen, if you ever think about adopting an older kid... Like, 42 years old... call me.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Man, the traffic in this city is incredible!", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "There's more important things in this world than money.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Oh, you're never going to believe this, but they didn't want to adopt me.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "I guess they got no taste.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "So you're ready to settle for me now?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Why don't you burn something up for dinner?", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Tony's rejection: 'I ain't going to be nobody's second choice'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "Don't hit me with that smile, Brian. Dimples either.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "I love you, Tony.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "There's such a thing as being too easy.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "The card game resolution", "c": ["Tony", "Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Tony And Brian"}, {"t": "You're my favorite. And I'm not just saying that because you've got great bagonzas.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Nice going, dough-brain. You just blew your biggest booking night in six months.", "c": ["Louie", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "So could a good sneeze.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Sounds like a pro.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "You mean he gave you an out?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Beat it, rejects. Come on, come on, get out of here. This ain't no coffee klatsch. Come on, hyah! Hyah!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Yackavay.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "How long have you been in this country? / Oh, thank you.", "c": ["Unknown", "Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "You like to go with boss man make big, shiny new quarter?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "What brought you to our country? / America.", "c": ["Unknown", "Simka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Because no one likes the mountain people. / Why? / Because they are mountain people.", "c": ["Latka", "Unknown", "Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Five... one to hold the beeshees and four to raise the goat up and down.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Come, I will teach you how to speak English, so you can speak good like me.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Did you hear the one about how many mountain people it takes... / Jim! / I think she's heard it.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "I'm going to show her the lights of Broadway and the Statue of Liberty and the apartment of a lonely, lonely man.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Latka told me to call them that. He said that if they ever get married, he's going to put that on their mailbox.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Latka told me to call them that. He said that if they ever get married, he's going to put that on their mailbox.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Pinching people on the rear end. / Oh. / Takes me by surprise every time he does it. / Oh? I'm starting to get used to it. / I'm starting to look forward to it.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown", "Unknown", "Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Hey, Jim, it's a game for two guys. You know that. / Okay, I'll, uh... I'll just watch. / It makes me nervous when you watch, you know? / Okay, I'll close my eyes. / It throws my game off, like, even if you're in the same room... you know. / Okay, uh... I'll just stay here. / Fine. / Just as long as I'm included.", "c": ["Unknown", "Jim", "Unknown", "Jim", "Unknown", "Jim", "Unknown", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "The usual tourist traps, I see.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "I was disappointed. / Well, he thought it was going to be about mechanics.", "c": ["Simka", "Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "You're saying that if she doesn't tell him she's a mountain person and he finds out she's a mountain person, he's going to be upset. Not only because she's a mountain person, but because she didn't tell him she's a mountain person. / I have my moments. / Although it does cost me. / I think I'll go home and sleep for a while.", "c": ["Jim", "Jim", "Jim", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Well, I am a mountain person! And this is for my mother! And this is for my father! This is for my grandfather! / I hope you have a small family.", "c": ["Simka", "Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "It's hard... it's hard to do this when you keep moving.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "There's only three reasons to leave work early. Loss of limb, excessive bleeding, and heart attack. And heart attack is a judgment call I make.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "It would have been better if a pig would have walked into garage and said, 'Hello, Latka.' Then I could at least call up my family and say, 'Hello, yes, I am dating a pig.' They would not have been crazy about it, but at least, they would have welcomed it into the family, after a while, especially after we had children.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "If you can think about all that and still not get off your yaktabe and go over there and give her a big make-up kiss then I wish you'd tell me right now, because I'm beginning to think that I'm going to do it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Latka, if I left the garage every time my spokes needed greasing, I'd never get any work done.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Ha! You report me to the board of labor relations, and I'll fire you. / You fire me, and I'll report you to the union. / You report me to the union, and I'll see to it that you get a rotten cab out of this garage every night. / You give me a rotten cab out of the garage every night, and I'll report you to the hack bureau. / You report me to the hack bureau, and I'll kick you in the shin. / You kick me in the shin, and I'll kick you where you live.", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine", "Louie", "Elaine", "Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Get out of here, Latka.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "They have a rake which goes around and cleans up after the horses, and they need people to sit on it to make it heavy. I am the one in the middle.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "I have decided that I love you and I don't care that you are mountain. I am willing to disgrace myself to be with you.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "I have decided that I love you and I don't care that you are mountain. I am willing to disgrace myself to be with you.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "My mother, she disowned me. My grandpa put a curse on me. My brother said he never want to see me again, and my crazy uncle Dahbi gave me his blessings.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "You mountain people sure have a strange way of expressing great joy.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "He sure is gorgeous. / Thank you. Thank you.", "c": ["Latka", "John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "It's no good. He's always home, always getting underfoot, always in the way when you're cleaning house. / I have a housekeeper, and I spend most of my day during the week sailing. / Do you have a sister?", "c": ["Latka", "John", "Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Do you have a sister?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Do you have a sister?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "I think you are a wonderful girl, and I am proud to be the man whose life you have totally wrecked.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "How does a mountain girl make love? / I don't know. / Like an angel.", "c": ["Latka", "Tommy", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Guess Whos Coming For Brefnish"}, {"t": "Bobby reveals he cruises the theater district hoping to meet someone like Nora, then says 'Not only did I meet someone like you, I met you. Now you can't get any more like you than you, can you?'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "I scored a point, huh? / Yeah, a partial point. / You have a nice smile. / Oh, yeah? You can tell from back there, huh? / Yeah, I'm looking at your eight-by-ten glossy taped to the seat here.", "c": ["Bobby", "Nora"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "I'd do something about the mustache and the missing teeth. / Oh, someone must have drawn on the thing again. It's signed, 'As always, Louie.'", "c": ["Nora", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "That's not pitching. / That's lying.", "c": ["Bobby", "Nora"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "I hate to be a name-dropper, but once I almost picked up Mike Nichols. / So did I.", "c": ["Bobby", "Nora"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "I like your laugh. / Oh, yeah? / And that's my weakest feature.", "c": ["Nora", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "It's an experimental play about 12 people stuck in a stalled elevator. It raises an age-old question: which is the greater agony... To be stuck in an elevator or to be watching a show about being stuck in an elevator?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "It will not be all right, damn it. I'll be there.", "c": ["Nora"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Alex called and said 'I'm never, ever, ever, never, never coming back.' / You sure he didn't say 'I'm never, ever, ever, never coming back, ha-ha?' You know how Alex likes to kid.", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "You sure he didn't say 'I'm never, ever, ever, never coming back, ha-ha?' You know how Alex likes to kid.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "One day I caught him trying to plant a chicken.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "If she can find it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Which foot was yours? / The one on the far left. / I should have known... The one that was overacting.", "c": ["Louie", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "No, he doesn't live here anymore. I do! Get out of here! I live here! I live here!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "I saw you in your play last night, and everything you said is absolutely true... It stinks.", "c": ["Nora"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Well, I'm going to have to think about it.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Here are the keys to my apartment. See ya.", "c": ["Nora"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "It is chess. / Damn! I was going to guess that.", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Or your clothes or your hair or your skin.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Let's ask Alex. / Good idea.", "c": ["Tony", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Then we went to her apartment, we talked some business and then we went to bed.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Wheeler's sleeping with his manager!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Not only have you found a manager, you've found a... A great manager!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Maybe it was just her way of saying, 'Welcome aboard.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "I'm glad you've finally figured it out that you're not going to get there on your talent.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "I threw up. During the scene on the stage.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Well, actually, I did throw up in character. I mean, it's not like I didn't use it. And there's nothing in the script that says old Brick can't throw up.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "First of all, the room you're pointing to is the kitchen.", "c": ["Nora"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "And what was the terrible thing you did?", "c": ["Nora"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Or bismal?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Oh, no, you don't. Because if I said come back, you'd come back in a second. / Try me. / Come back. / Okay.", "c": ["Nora", "Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "But at least I have one thing left: I have my shoes. / Oh, no, you don't. Because if I said, 'Give me your shoes and I'll let you come back,' you'd give me your shoes. / Give me your shoes and I'll let you come back. / Please?", "c": ["Bobby", "Nora"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "If you don't give me my shoes back I'm going to bust your lamp.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "My shoes are not for sale.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, I ran out of money before I found out just how long.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "Wheeler, cab 544!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "What Price Bobby"}, {"t": "It's for parking, Alex. / And emergencies, hence the name, emer... / You know, there's a logic to that.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "For a minute there I thought I forgot to close the old porthole.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "I thought most of these people were just about as ugly as they could get.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "I knew I shouldn't have said that.", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "I'm going to write out a report. / Aw, come on! That never works! / Don't try to talk me out of it!", "c": ["Louie", "Driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "I am going to issue 'drive defensively' stickers.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Go blow-dry your face.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Hah-hah! Hah-hah!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "unless, of course, Nardo wants to beat them out of me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "No, Jim Petty is the backup goalie for the Rangers.", "c": ["Driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Just what I was afraid of... They're getting organized.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "His name's Jack something or other. / Why? You want to nominate him? / No, I just couldn't think of his name.", "c": ["Driver", "Other Driver"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Stand back and watch my dust.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Right foot, left foot, right foot...", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "And now that you're the shop steward, I'm sure you're going to want to spend time down there yourself.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "I saw Jersey Joe Walcott in there the other night.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "It's called the monsoon. It's days before your sky is clear.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "I blew it, huh? / Big.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "I nominate Tony. / Jim! Why would you want to nominate Tony?! / There's no substitute for experience.", "c": ["Jim", "Driver", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Well, see you tomorrow.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no! Oh, no, not a strike! Oh, fie!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Daily News! Daily News! Hey, kid! You want to make some big bucks?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "And remember... The big pedal's the brake.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "remember, red means 'stop,' green means 'go.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "It's just not working for non-employees.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "3:00 yesterday.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Well, I would've given it to you yesterday, but then I would have had to cross the picket line. You know how I feel about the sanctity of picket lines.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "While you lame-os are out there playing in the snow, I'm in here, doing a little plastic surgery on the books.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Hey, Iggy. / Yo. / The Sunshine Cab Company spends more on maintenance than any other company in the city. / Our strike worked.", "c": ["Louie", "Iggy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "All power to the people!", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Boy, did we eat a lot of hot dogs at that picnic, but it was for a good cause.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "I just hope He forgives you. / Mackenzie? He's ready to erect a statue to me. You kidding? / No, no, no, I don't mean Mackenzie.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "You know what that means? / Yeah. It means they got to believe you. I love this country.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Yeah. It means they got to believe you. I love this country.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Well, every great businessman has had to do that. Besides, he understands what's going on. He's a man of the world.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Besides, he understands what's going on. He's a man of the world.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Sister Porchnik.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "It's just that thou art so easy to be holier than.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "You and me, for four days in a mountain cabin, with no one but the furry creatures of the woods to hear our screams of ecstasy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "I get to bring a friend, and we sit at separate tables.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "within the hearing of at least two other people, you must call me 'Stallion.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Except 'Stallion.' / Especially 'Stallion.'", "c": ["Elaine", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "You're taking advantage of something that's decent in me to satisfy some indecent needs of your own. How does that make you feel? / Horny as all get out.", "c": ["Elaine", "Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Shut It Down 1"}, {"t": "Go blow-dry your face.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "How does that make you feel? / Horny as all get-out.", "c": ["Elaine", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Haven't you ever heard of the Taft-Hartley Act? / Hey, I used to see them on The Ed Sullivan Show.", "c": ["Unknown", "Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Taft was the goofy one, right?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Well, today, she started in on mine.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "I mean, you could smell these things from home.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Won't be a mosquito near him all night.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "In a couple of hours, it's going to be ripped from my body.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Nice to be back, Lou.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "You're early, and she doesn't live here, and I have a headache!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "his name is Joe, and he's a tall blond doctor, and he likes me very much, and won't hurt me.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Stubby Detmuller never did it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "There was that one time when he went out dancing with Louie on New Year's Eve.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Open the door and feast your eyes on a 150 pounds of hickey bait!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Alex, if I ask you real nice, will you take this bottle and beat me senseless?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "You seem like vermin.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "My intentions, Rieger, are to take a trip around the moon.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "There's not a man, woman, or child that we're going to bump into tonight who isn't on my payroll.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Nardo, you look like Nanook of the North.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "It will take the coroner a week to pry the grin off my face.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "I'll just send the hounds out after the scent of 'Cruel Cavalier.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Tell them hi from Uncle Lou.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "I want you to always remember your mother the way she was the last time you saw her... Young and fresh and happy.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "The ice is broken.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "You've written our entire conversation?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "'Better is a poor and wise child than an old and foolish king.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Now, let's tear up this piece of paper and dance, stallion.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "I spent all morning taking lessons from a gay Spanish guy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Play, savages!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "To wash down the Valium.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "I thought something like that would kill a person. / So did I.", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "The least you could have done was strip down to your dress.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "All I wanted was to have one classy evening in my life", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "Enthusiasm like that doesn't come cheap.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "The final kiss and Louie's reaction", "c": ["Elaine", "Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Shut It Down 2"}, {"t": "I'm so bored, I got nothing better to do than to sit here and talk with you losers.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "He wants you to get him some cigarettes.", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Cabs without brakes to anybody who laughs.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Yeah, like how poor Louie has to pick up cigarettes for the boss, like some kind of flunky.", "c": ["Banta"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "It was worth it.", "c": ["Banta"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Did you meet any chicks?", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Did I mention that she had the bluest eyes I've ever seen?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "She heard my heartbeat. The people down in the lodge were saying, 'What's that noise up there?'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Well, it's very difficult to talk and whimper at the same time.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Well, I don't know if I decided, but, uh... Maybe it was me, maybe it was the breeze.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "I was so glad that I'd listened to Jim McKay all those years, because I knew just what to do... But that was going to be no small trick, because I was upside down, I couldn't find my chin.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "And there I was 120 miles above Lake Placid, and I couldn't find my chin!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "I actually landed on my feet. And then on my head, and then on my back and then on my feet. By the time I came to a complete halt, I was the biggest snowball in the history of Lake Placid.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "And she said, 'Boy, you got guts.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Set 'em up... and put it on the snowball.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "And of being badly injured.", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Yeah, sounds like you got the best of both worlds.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "You're going to ski off that piano?", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "'Being Alive.' I think I know that one.", "c": ["Unknown patron"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "I did that in a college fight... it killed me. / I did that with Ellison... I was out for a week. / I did that with Sinacori... ended up in the second row.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "No substitute for experience.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "He'll kill you. / I want him.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I'll go easy on the guy.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Hey, man, you want to box or not?", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "It would have knocked out a rhinoceros.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Did a beer just go by?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "So anybody know what 'Rieger Knievel' is doing today?", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "I mean, that man is a living beer commercial.", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Aw, they're out of the latest copy of Death Wish?", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Don't you have to go someplace to shed skin, Louie?", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "You're going to wrestle a shark?", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Hot dog! Sign right there.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Don't you think it's a little odd that your beneficiary wants you to do this?", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Don't you think it's a little odd that your beneficiary wants you to do this?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Last time I jumped, I injured my spleen.", "c": ["Skydiving instructor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "It's better than sex. It's better than most sex.", "c": ["Skydiving instructor"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Hey, Bobby, will you cut that out? Can't you wait till I'm gone?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "I'm not going down there. I'm not going down there. I'm not going to go.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "A man's got to do what a man's got to do.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "I got $50,000 riding on this, and I still hope you don't die.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "I got $50,000 riding on this, and I still hope you don't die.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "Nobody but me.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "I am? I could swear I jumped. My spirit jumped. It's just my body that's left here.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "I'm going to spend the single greatest thrill of my life throwing up.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Alex Jumps Out Of An Airplane"}, {"t": "He's fighting you?", "c": ["Unknown Character", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Uh... the horse racing. No. Uh... football. Nope. Badminton?", "c": ["Latka", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Elaine, Elaine... this fellow has a broken hand, and I could win many dollars, and that would make my family and me very happy.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "You may laugh, but I know people who talk like that.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "I have one very firm rule in my life: I don't eat at the same table, bet on the same side, or climb on the same airplane as losers.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.27, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Be gone, Iggy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, the guy Johnson's fighting is named Johnson, too.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "We got a 50-50 chance on a sure thing.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.93, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "You must all promise to keep me informed of your flight plans.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "if you value our friendship, you will not put that smirk into words.", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.07, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Every day you come in here with some sure thing and it never works out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "You bet on painters?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "I don't think you ever had any inside information. I think you were just trying to impress us.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "don't deny us a Duffin.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.77, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Where the hell did I learn that?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "after the artist... dies.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Can he eat solid food? Does he recognize visitors? Is he on any machines? I mean, is there a plug somebody might accidentally... Whoop! Trip over?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.27, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "buying one of the old geezer's paintings is like betting he's going to die. We can't lose.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "All those in favor of keeping Louie out of this deal signify so by spitting on his shoes.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "I'll just sit over here turn my back away and, uh, you know, you just pretend I'm not in the room, and I'll respect the confidentiality of your discussion.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "I hate him.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "350 Brokniks. How much is that in American money? Nothing.", "c": ["Latka", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.27, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Hey, I can buy and sell Latka.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Raise it or lose it, Wheeler.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "I've heard that there's a thrill associated with coming in contact with great art, but I never realized how true it was until this very moment.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Bobby, these are just prints. They're copies of original paintings. They're almost worthless. Oh.", "c": ["Elaine", "Bobby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Oh, good, you gave Latka the day off. Yeah, I told him that all he had to do is fix the problem in cab 643, he could come with us. Oh, did you get it fixed? Uh... almost. What's that? Uh... uh... I don't know. That's the problem.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.9, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "What's that? Uh... uh... I don't know. That's the problem.", "c": ["Elaine", "Latka"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "As luck would have it, we've got the same tie size.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "This is worth 2,000 bucks? ... For 2,000 bucks, you'd think they'd throw in a name.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.73, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "But there's only one seat left in the front. Not for long.", "c": ["Tony", "Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.9, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Way to go, Louie.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Most of my assets are tied up in investments... right now all my money's in a nursing home in Jersey.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Those people don't eat three meals a day. I mean, their memories are so bad they don't know whether they had three meals or a cracker. I say let them sleep.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "You're a slime, Louie.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "My God, I know her! She's dyed her hair, but that's her.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.77, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Yike! Whew! How did that get in here? Yuck! Ugh!", "c": ["Louie", "Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "I got one for it. How about 'Garbage'?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "One hundred bucks, and that's my final offer!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "You're getting on my nerves!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "You better hope you don't spend your twilight years at Sunset Acres!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Look at your nice suit...! You probably got a maid and a butler! You got maids, you got everything!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.1, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Oh, no! That's not fair! That's not... God, why, God?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "But, you know, if you guys were at Normandy, we'd all be eating strudel right now.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.4, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Hey, there, cookie. I want one of your classiest things here... Something by... Vincent Van Patten, or one of those guys.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Art Work"}, {"t": "Tony claims having a guy who went to school with Leonard Nimoy as a celebrity fare", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "What's-his-name.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Latka's impression of Herve Villechaize: 'Hey, boss. Hello, boss. How are you, boss?'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Alex's deadpan response: 'Not bad, but could you do the guy who went to school with Leonard Nimoy?'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Louie's response: 'Envy is an ugly emotion, Rieger'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Latka's description of The Honeymooners: 'Hey, Ralphie boy... How you doing? Oh, Alice, one of these days, pow! Right, right, right in... right into the moon.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Hey, Ralphie boy... How you doing? Oh, Alice, one of these days, pow! Right, right, right in... right into the moon.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Louie: 'I don't think you're a dumb boxer.' Tony: 'You don't, Lou?' Louie: 'No. I think you're a bad boxer. I think you're a dumb person.'", "c": ["Louie", "Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Tony recognizes Eric Sevareid and calls the conference 'The Gathering Of Smart Guys'", "c": ["Tony", "Eric Sevareid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Tony: 'It must be tough coming up with opinions all the time. I know... I come up with one myself every now and then. Makes my head hurt.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Tony's solution to world conflict: 'Let the leaders of these countries put on the gloves and go a couple of rounds. The match I'd like to see is Carter-Castro. Castro's got the weight on him. You know, but Jimmy's wiry, and he does a lot of roadwork.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Tony's solution to world hunger: 'Well, like all those fancy White House parties. Right? Instead of inviting all those rich people, invite some poor people. I mean, rich people can afford to feed themselves, right?'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "You're no slouch yourself.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Tony: 'Hey, if I say two smart things, can I bring a date?'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Tony's confident response to debating Buckley, Kissinger, and Galbraith: 'We'll kick their butt.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Indubitably.", "c": ["Sevareid"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Louie: 'This is tough, Banta. You could be a dumb anything.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Latka's fantasy begins with everyone addressing him as 'Mr. Gravas' and calling him 'chipper off the old block'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "In Latka's fantasy, Louie gets in trouble for going to the bathroom: 'But you went to the bathroom yesterday. Is this going to be a habit with you?'", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "In Latka's fantasy, Louie is sentenced to execution by firing squad for not fixing cabs", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "'He doesn't smoke' when Louie is offered a last cigarette before execution", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Latka's fantasy ends with him saying 'Fire' for the execution just as real Louie snaps him back to reality", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Louie's advice about Herve Villechaize: 'Don't give him those back. Charge him for them. You may get a reward... Come on, Banta, he's a big star. He's rolling in dough. He uses $20 bills to train his dog.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Banta, sometimes, you're so stupid I want to cry.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Tony's excitement: 'Well, at least I get to do my impression of him in person.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Alex's warning about Tony's impression and Elaine asking why he's encouraging him creates confusion", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Bobby Wheeler's fantasy as a famous singer performing 'City Boy'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "In Bobby's fantasy, famous Bobby Wheeler returns to the garage but charges Louie a buck to acknowledge knowing him", "c": ["Bobby", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "I-I just wanted to come back and see my humble beginnings.", "c": ["Bobby in fantasy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "It'll cost you a buck.", "c": ["Bobby in fantasy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Louie gives his last buck and Bobby still denies knowing him: 'I never saw the man before in my life.'", "c": ["Bobby", "Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Bob... this is my last buck. How am I going to eat?", "c": ["Louie in fantasy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Aliens want Jim because 'You don't understand why everybody wants jobs, why everybody wants to get ahead. You don't know what the point is, and you don't care.'", "c": ["Aliens", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Aliens: 'You haven't read a newspaper in years, and you live in fear of someone starting a conversation with you about what's going on in the world.'", "c": ["Aliens"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Aliens: 'You're wearing every piece of clothing you own.'", "c": ["Aliens"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Aliens: 'When you talk, everyone looks puzzled.'", "c": ["Aliens"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Aliens: 'The universe is a source of wonder and amusement to you.'", "c": ["Aliens"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "The universe is a source of wonder and amusement to you.", "c": ["Alien"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Jim's casual acceptance: 'Okeydoke.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Okeydoke.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Jim to the aliens: 'Wow, you guys are funny looking.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Wow, you guys are funny looking.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Latka does his Herve Villechaize impression for the real Herve", "c": ["Latka", "Herve Villechaize"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Herve says to Louie: 'Uh, will somebody tell the big guy that he stinks?'", "c": ["Herve Villechaize"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "Pathetic.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Fantasy Borough 1"}, {"t": "What is this, eh... Fantasy Island? Well, actually, Latka, there really isn't a Fantasy Island.", "c": ["Latka", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "You're never gonna believe who I had in my cab last night! Hey, that's Herve Villechaize.", "c": ["Driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "You seem to have a perspective on world events that somehow eludes the average man. You're no slouch yourself.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Halt. I have other dreams, too.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Wow! You guys are funny-lookin'.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Here come da plane, boss. You like it? That's fine. That was you.", "c": ["Latka", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Don't you know what Hollywood's like? Right now, that guy's out there surrounded by perverts, weirdos, and human garbage. Makes me glad I didn't go into show business.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "I've tried to fantasize. I've tried to think up some great situation, but somehow, something always goes wrong.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Has anyone ever told you before that the back of your head is quite attractive. Thank you. The front's nice too. That's something to look forward to.", "c": ["Alex", "Fantasy woman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "I've always heard how rude and abrupt cabbies were. You're not that way at all. Well, the evening is still young.", "c": ["Fantasy woman", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Feeling a little warm? Ever since I got into this cab. I can turn the heat down. I don't think you could.", "c": ["Alex", "Fantasy woman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "So, tell me, uh, cookie... what brings you to New York? I'm here with my husband. Son of a... She's married?!", "c": ["Alex", "Fantasy woman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Oh, Alex, are you over there trying to fantasize? Ah, no, I told you I don't do that kind of stuff.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Hey, Alex, if you're fantasizing about a woman, make her single. Well, it's not that easy, you know. I mean, you just can't imagine her single, and she comes out single, can you?", "c": ["Unknown character", "Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "So you're married, huh? No, not really. I just said that. Why? I was afraid you'd come on to me. Well... why are you admitting that now? I decided I'd take my chances.", "c": ["Alex", "Fantasy woman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Would you like to stop someplace and have a cup of coffee? Oh, I'd love that.", "c": ["Alex", "Fantasy woman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Don't worry about it. I couldn't stop now if I had to. Stop. I can't. I can't. Stop!", "c": ["Alex", "Passenger"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "I can't even be trusted behind the wheel of my own fantasy.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Now, now, just relax... and remember that it's your fantasy, and in her eyes, you can't do anything wrong. Yeah. You're right. I just hope she's still alive.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "You're not going to get into any trouble, are you? No, I have a very understanding dispatcher.", "c": ["Fantasy woman", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "What's the matter? I just realized something. I don't even know your name. Does it matter? How am I going to tell my diary about you?", "c": ["Fantasy woman", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Tawny. My favorite name. I'm Alex. My favorite name.", "c": ["Fantasy woman", "Alex"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "A double-dip Rocky Road ice cream cone with a cherry on top. Right. How did...? Uncle Alex?!", "c": ["Fantasy woman", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "How's Aunt Rose? Fine. Cousin Harry? Great. Brother Bill? Wonderful. Your daughter? Europe.", "c": ["Fantasy woman", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Me? What would I need a fantasy for? I'm usually the object of other peoples' fantasies.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "He keeps that thermostat set right where it's supposed to be... 28 degrees.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Imagine how tough it would be being the only rich man left in the country.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "That's a mighty nasty cough you got there, Rieger. Oh, it's nothing, sir. Just a touch of double pneumonia. It's going around.", "c": ["Louie", "Rieger"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "That could be bronchitis on top of pneumonia. That's what Wheeler's got, and he's dying, aren't you, Wheeler? Yes, sir. That's the spirit.", "c": ["Louie", "Wheeler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Why are you dressed like that? Because it's so warm in here. You keep it at 85.", "c": ["Louie", "Wife"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Nardo, you're taking some of the surprise out of this.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Benji... she's going through the roof. Snoopy... through the roof.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Take a walk. All right, but just one.", "c": ["Louie", "Lassie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Oh, well. A man can dream, can't he?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "But if I were to tell you my fantasy... it would knock you out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "We always play cards. We play cards every day. That's all we do is play cards. Play cards.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Elaine, we're trying to play cards here. Come on! Buzz off.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Bounce! Kick!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "Train! Pick me up! Turn me! Put me down! Kick!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Fantasy Borough 2"}, {"t": "What's her name? What time do you want me there? 8:00.", "c": ["Bobby", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "I could have got you to come in the cage if I'd have said her name, yeah.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "You're not pouring your guts out to me. You're telling me that you're not getting enough action. Insatiable lust doesn't make you sympathetic.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Zena sees something in me that no other woman ever saw... That no other person ever saw... That isn't there.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 8.64, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "You mean, like, uh, if the house looks clean I could say, 'Hey, the place looks great.' Sure. That was my idea. I thought of the words. You just said, 'talk.' I got the golden key here.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Gee, the place looks immaculate.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Trying to romance you is like trying to blow your nose without a handkerchief.", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "87 bucks for a French meal you don't want to eat, they don't want me to take home. I got to go out and find my own bags at 8:00 at night.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Boy, this place looks immaculate.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "I know what'll take the tension out of you. Oh, no. No.", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Please let me be deaf.", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "I'm sure you don't want to know the details. No, you don't, really.", "c": ["Zena", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "I can't... breathe!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Someday... you're going to come back to me... Crawling on your knees, begging me to take you back... And when you do... you know what I'll say? I'll say... thank God.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "You said 8:00, right?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "There will be soon. I put a quarter in the jukebox. No. You just put a quarter in the cigarette machine.", "c": ["Jim", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Well, Elaine, would you care to smoke?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "I'm meeting you guys here for breakfast. They haven't played my cigarette yet.", "c": ["Tony", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "The worst part about it is I kept Ma up all night too. Why was that? What do you want me to do? Talk to the walls?", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "What am I supposed to do, here? My life is falling apart so I should listen to stories about you? I mean, you know, let's put the little selfishness in check here.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Look out, Dwight! I think it's him.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Pump the scum! No pumping. Pump him! No pumping. Pump the scum! Just beer! Pump the scum! No! Just beer! Pump him! Pump the scum! Sit! Stay! Stay. Stay.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "I'm torn between joy... and rapture.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "It's what separates us from the animals.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Maybe a teeny bit.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "What do you mean? / It's all you ever think about. / You mean, that's the problem?", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Love... is the end of happiness. Because one day, all a guy's got to do to be happy is to watch the Mets. The next day, you got to have Zena in the room watching the Mets with you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Well, I can't watch them now, anyway, because it's the middle of the winter. But the philosophy's the same.", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "Here I am, back in the same old stinking, lousy, crummy, rotten relationship all over again... The same place I was in to begin with. I'll never get out from under it. Oh, Zena, you don't know how happy that makes me feel.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Louies Rival"}, {"t": "You want me to fan you? I don't think so, Louie. You see, I left my palm leaf back at the hut this morning.", "c": ["Bobby", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Go ahead. Make it racial right away.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Now, you know that I'm not the kind of mother who comes in with boring stories about her kids, right? [Everyone enthusiastically agrees]", "c": ["Elaine", "All"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Oh, I forgot. We're only allowed to talk about hangovers and the Jets.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Hey, did you see the Jet game this weekend? No. I was hung over.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "You know, when I was five and a half and I was just so high and I was so cute, you could eat me up alive... Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me a kid story about yourself? Yes, because you know, I am a bachelor. I am the only kid I've got.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Bobby, I'd rather you wouldn't. Why not? Well, I mean, if you had a sister you wouldn't want a guy like you to meet her, would ya?", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, I'll hang around the back till she leaves.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "I doubt she's even a virgin anymore.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "I want you to know I thought about it and it's okay with me if you want to go to bed with Monica.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "I better warn you, this might lead to dinner.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "I'm beginning to get a crush on myself here.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Listen, who are you fooling? I would marry the wench.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "A big nose and a Green Card.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "I don't allow no family get-togethers in my garage. Well, I just want to talk to him for two minutes. Give me a buck.", "c": ["Louie", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "One was good-looking, one was smart, and one was you.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Well, meow.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm in luck... a human being.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Well, do you know that you and I are forbidden to love? It's a shame, it's a big shame. Because we would have made beautiful babies together.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "I never thought I'd say this, but don't go away.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "I was born there.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "It's been a long time since I've seen a dress from Spokane.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Smooth, Iggy. Real smooth.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Except for the gong. You mean the gonnnnng? Yeah. You know it.", "c": ["Jim", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "[Extended Vivaldi humming duet between Jim and Monica]", "c": ["Jim", "Monica"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "No Vivaldi in the garage.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "One of these days I got to get it together and go to the symphony. I'm pretty sure New York has one.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Well, you don't have to tag along. Maybe we could go together. Huh... I just got a rush.", "c": ["Monica", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "In fact, at one point Alex said, 'I can't get a pause in edgewise.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Ah! What an icebreaker.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Your husband was your type. An Electrolux salesman with every allergy in the book who painted turtles for relaxation. You know, you always make so much of that one time he painted the turtle.", "c": ["Tony", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "We all got our faults. I'm messy around the house. You fall for garbage.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "The last girl Jim went out with lived in a forest and ate bark.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "No, it doesn't have anything to do with wooden shoes.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Is this the bill already?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "We can't have dinner together. Why not? I don't know. You didn't go into it.", "c": ["Jim", "Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "My face grows hair very fast. I shave, and it seems like only a matter of days before it's back.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "I don't have much hair on my body at all. Compared to my face, my skin is like a smooth baby pumpkin.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "I didn't mean to talk erotic.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "No. I just learned what I should order. Took me all day.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "The hard part was phoning all over town trying to find a restaurant that serves that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "You're turning my head.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "When I think of me, I smile, too. We're both thinking of me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Thanks, Tony. I do feel a little better.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "You don't think enough of me to go to bed with my sister.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Of course, we have a lot of room here. We'll need a bathroom schedule.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "It's Chicago '68 all over again.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Well, my shorts are riding a little high. Otherwise...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "We're on threads of hope, trying to weave us a basket.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "No, I bat about .500. That's all right, honey. I don't get 'em all, either.", "c": ["Tony", "Monica"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "And I think I've learned the most important thing of all: I love being lifted.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Tonys Sister And Jim"}, {"t": "Tony describes his mundane daily routine, then says he was 'thinking I had it made' when Bobby calls it depressing", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Louie asks Alex a normal human question, then Alex asks about Louie's cockroach problem as his reciprocal 'normal' question", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "A cockroach appears right after they discuss Louie's cockroach problem", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Louie tells someone 'Looked like you, Iggy' about the cockroach", "c": ["Louie", "Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Banta claims 'This is America' when Louie kicks him out, Louie responds 'No, it isn't! This garage is Louie Land. You want to go to America? Go outside.'", "c": ["Louie", "Banta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Someone describes Alex's eyes as 'bulging like a frog's in heat'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Louie tells someone to stick around because Alex will need their 'ample bosom to cry on'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Louie delivers the devastating news that Alex's daughter is getting married and didn't invite 'the man whose glands gave her birth'", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex says about raising his daughter: 'You give them two of the best years of your life'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Louie's mother's wisdom: 'You're better off raising tomatoes. You can eat 'em.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Louie trying to comfort Alex: 'Come on, it's not like it's money. Come on.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex: 'Rio De Janeiro to here... Do you know how far that is? Six thousand... eight hundred and forty-two miles.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "'The Brazilian mail system is government-run with an annual budget of 27,485,000 pesetas.'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Character admits: 'I wasn't even sure if pesetas was the right money'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex says about the cost of calling Brazil: 'You just went to the well once too often'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Tony misunderstands that Alex gave his daughter an estate in Majorca as a wedding gift", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex on phone: 'I'm calling from New York City on a middle-class income'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Louie coaching Alex: 'Reel her in, Rieger. She's bitten the hook. Reel her in!'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Doorman checking list: 'Because it's on the list that tells me you're not on the list.'", "c": ["Doorman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Elaine asking for a light: 'You don't have a cigarette.' 'We don't need a cigarette.'", "c": ["Elaine", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Character explains their instant chemistry with a stranger as something their 'older brother' (Alex) doesn't like", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex says his ex-wife walked out 'before they accepted my application at the cab academy'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex seeing Phyllis: 'It looks like she put on a couple of extra pounds here and there... and everywhere.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Phyllis is introduced pulling up Carlo's socks, saying 'I was just pulling up his socks, dear' when caught", "c": ["Phyllis", "Cathy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Phyllis: 'I hear they have those electronic meters now.'", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Phyllis asks about female cab drivers: 'Where else would all the little cab drivers come from?'", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex's Freudian slip: 'you haven't lost a daughter, you've gained a ton' instead of 'gained a son'", "c": ["Alex", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "At the wedding, a man warns his dance partner about Alex: 'Don't let him' and 'He looks like a bad dancer'", "c": ["Unknown man", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Phyllis accuses Alex: 'You've been sneaking out and taking dancing lessons, haven't you?'", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Rapid-fire exchange: 'I was afraid I may have hurt your feelings.' 'You wish you could hurt my feelings.' 'Look, if I hurt your feelings...' 'You didn't hurt my feelings.' etc.", "c": ["Alex", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Phyllis threatens: 'You get your hands off me or I'll charge you for half this wedding'", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Phyllis criticizes Alex's apology: 'You took me all the way in here to do what you had to do as badly as you just did it?'", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Phyllis reveals she gained 27 pounds and had to let out her month-old dress three times", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex mimics Phyllis and she snaps: 'I hate being mimicked. I hate it!'", "c": ["Alex", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex and Phyllis have a moment where he accurately guesses what she was thinking, leading to 'Lucky guess'", "c": ["Alex", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Phyllis's vulnerable admission: 'Or find my buttons anymore'", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex's gallant response: 'Well, listen, if they ever get up a search party...'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex's crude observation: 'Five minutes later, you would've had a better gift'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Alex comments on the final hug: 'Whoa, we're just being crazy, you know?'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Fathers Of The Bride"}, {"t": "Well, what about a stranger? Maybe she don't know any strangers. Boy, you got all the answers.", "c": ["Tony", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "This calls for a celebration. Next round of drinks is on me. No, no, no. I got the part, I insist, I want to pay for my own drink. Not a chance.", "c": ["Bobby", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, what do you do? I'm an investment analyst. Wow... An invest... an investment analyst. Uh, small world. Why, are you an investment analyst? Nah, cabdriver.", "c": ["Tony", "Kirk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Why do I feel like I'm watching a game show? Tell us what he's won, Tony.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Oh, do you know what you're putting this poor man through?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "5-5-5... 4-2-7... 4-4-2-4. 4-2-7-6. 7-6. Here you go. 5-5... Jim, Jim... we got it.", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "That's a lie. Not you, Jim... Elaine.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "He says you owe a towel fee from April. He's crazy. I didn't shower in April.", "c": ["Tony", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Hey, hey. Who are you? Kirk Bradshaw. And who are you? In here, God.", "c": ["Louie", "Kirk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "How far did you get? Come on. Come on, a little guy-talk here. Did you hit a home run?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Well, some friend you are, Kirk.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Well, she wasn't the one I was after, Tony.", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Oh, no? / [Long pause] No. / [Even longer pause] Oh, no, no, no, no...", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "The one on the left's the brake. The one on the right's the gas.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "You pick me or your butt's flying out of here.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "My paisano.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "The guy Elaine is going out with just made a pass at me", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "You're my favorite, Banta!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "What do you call one of them questions that didn't happen but you ask it like it really did? Hypothetical?", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Well, she's pulled that little trick once too often. I'm going to tell her we're through. Thanks a lot, Tony. I owe you one.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Hello, Tony. Hello? What's the matter? You're too sad to talk? Okay, I do your part for you then. Hello, Tony. Hello, Latka. How you doing there?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Hello, Tony. / Hello? / What's the matter? You're too sad to talk? / Okay, I do your part for you then. Hello, Tony. / Hello, Latka. How you doing there?", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Of course. They are very popular in my country. Yeah. Oh, almost everybody have them. And, uh, one of our favorite sports is racing them. And when we are not using them, we have special racks where we chain them up at night.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "The office is closed. The doctor is out. Sally doesn't live here anymore.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Alex, I'd like to pass on a compliment. Alex, I've got a woman for you. Alex, I want to give you money. Those are sentences I will listen to.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Well, he said my simplicity was engaging, and that we'd be wonderful together.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "I can't be alone with him. I'm the one he spends tortured nights dreaming about. He said that? No. I'm just assuming.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "But I've already told Elaine that I'm bisexual. Shh. Oh, okay. It's okay here.", "c": ["Kirk", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Would you like to dance? Just for the sake of optimism, no, go ahead, I don't mind. No, I meant you.", "c": ["Unknown patron", "Alex", "Kirk"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Alex, Elaine's heart is getting broken. You're having a great time here dancing.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "I don't care what you say. I would never dance with that guy. No, not you, you little heartbreaker.", "c": ["Tony", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "I would never dance with that guy. / No, not you, you little heartbreaker.", "c": ["Tony", "Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Hey, Alex, what's that for? For acting like a jerk. Why doesn't anybody ever tell me about these contests?", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Elaines Strange Triangle"}, {"t": "Only on your brain.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Well, I've been in the bathroom.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Yeah. You know... it was the '60s", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Ikswotangi. Uh-oh. That's not even close to 'Star Child,' is it?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "It's written in some strange language unknown on this planet.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "That's okay. I didn't even hear it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Jim, that's Bonanza. Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "You know, once a month like clockwork, I call him on the phone and hang up just so I can hear his voice say 'For the last time, who is this?'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Okay. Now, now, now let's not fight over this.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Boy, what are the odds of that happening?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Ignatowski's got a father? There goes my spore theory.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "I think he's a butler. I don't care what he does for a living. He's my father.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Tom Caldwell, the son that lived.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Lila, I'd like you to meet my brother, Tom-Jim.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Want a bite?", "c": ["Lila"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Promise me you won't leave me alone with them.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "But she never took off those white gloves.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "For some reason, she used to call me Miss Scarlett. Jim, that's Gone With the Wind. Yeah... no use looking back on it now.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Jim, that's Gone With the Wind. Yeah... no use looking back on it now.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "This could be my dad... or your dad.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "You're bald.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Thought about a toup?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Well, what about the fat part?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Oh, yes! Now I remember. Everybody here was fat.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "My God, I-I've been estranged from the wrong family.", "c": ["Jim's Father"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "You finished all of that.", "c": ["Jim's Father"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "I don't love my brother, Alex. That's all right, Jim. I don't know why. He's almost as fat as my dad.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Everything but string beans, sir.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Lila, don't be cheap in front of the company.", "c": ["Jim's Father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "A typewriter seemed so impersonal.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Well, don't make it sound so terrible. How do you make that sound good? Well, drifting... You know, living on handouts. And getting stoned.", "c": ["Jim", "Father"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "What do you feel? Full.", "c": ["Father", "Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Okeydoke.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Like, I wonder about if you call an orange an orange why don't you call a banana a yellow? Or an apple a red? Well, you see, the point is, Mr. Caldwell... Now, blueberries make sense, but somebody explain gooseberries to me.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Give it all away to what's his name... The big guy with the curly hair. Your brother. Or him.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Good-bye, Dad.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "And get his right phone number!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Going Home"}, {"t": "Cockroach at 10:00. Oh, my God! That's the biggest cockroach I've ever seen!", "c": ["Louie", "Unknown driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "That's a man-eater.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "I hit him dead center with everything I had, and he just smiled at me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "But he'll be back.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Who am I calling? / You mean, you weren't going to use the phone? / No, I was going to the bathroom.", "c": ["Jim", "Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Oh, Bob, Bob, come on. It's not the last job you're going to lose.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Let him hear the negative things after he loses it.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "First, I would like to order a tossed gravlitee... and a fried yufnish in the basket... and a profnika with everything.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Just give me the number seven.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Banta, sometimes I wish you were smarter just so you'd know how dumb you are.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "It's a handicap to be classically handsome. Don't I know it?", "c": ["Bobby", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Go ahead and say it, Bobby.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Thank God... It suffered long enough.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Well, uh, how do you feel about answering? I could make up a question, you could answer it.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "I was the guy that woke him up. Hey, Bobby, you think it's easy waking a guy up after he's slept 40 years?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "I don't think I want your agent. And why not? I mean, he hasn't exactly made you a star, you know.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "A girl I once dated said I was an Italian Sylvester Stallone. Yeah, I think the world is waiting for one of those.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I seen the Disney version.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "If he could see over a dashboard, I'd have this one driving a cab.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "when I catch this one, I'm gonna fix you up with it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Three poses for 50 cents.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "could you to be my agent, too?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "[Latka's emotional performance about destroyed village]", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "I see that we're presently negotiating for a part in the new Jane Fonda film, which could tie him up during that period.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "I can always work out something with Jane.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "No, but thanks for asking.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "I'll give it a shot.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Yeah, okay. / Me, too.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Me, too.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "After the reading that he just gave you still want him. / Well, it's a small part.", "c": ["Bobby", "Casting Director"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Does he work for his ten percent or what?", "c": ["Casting Director"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "I watched George C. Scott eat a jelly doughnut. Then they fired me.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "He used words like 'wrong interpretation' and 'artistic differences,' 'over my dead body...'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "Just 'cause I got canned. / Wow.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "But I got to tell you something, I hope they don't expect me to bail them out every time.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "I put hamburger meat on the end of this. When he nibbles... Yank his head off.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "He's got hairy legs. He's got bloodshot eyes, Rieger.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "He's got hairy legs. He's got bloodshot eyes, Rieger.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "The Ten Percent Solution"}, {"t": "You were great. You were brilliant. It was a very good performance. Thanks, Louie. I'm not talking about you, ham hock. I'm talking about this little show your friends are putting on.", "c": ["Louie", "Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "What would the two of you do up in the mountains for a whole week? Mountain stuff.", "c": ["Louie", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "All right. I'd like to get some money down on the elements.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "I want primitive. I don't want any electricity, telephones... No conveniences. I've got just the place. Where? My apartment.", "c": ["Bobby", "Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "If it was so wonderful, why'd you leave? Uh... they traded me... for a couple of goats... and a, uh, and a Donovan album.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "I yearn for the wide-open spaces. Try looking between your ears.", "c": ["Bobby", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "You don't understand it because you're a woman, Elaine. I have no idea why I don't understand it.", "c": ["Bobby", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "It's so quiet here you can actually hear yourself think. I can't hear anything.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Would you look at us... Looking for a refrigerator. There's no electricity here.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Without a refrigerator all the food's gonna go bad. With no food and no way out of here, we'll be dead by Wednesday. Mountain man! Mountain man! It's too late. He left. We're going to die.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Isn't this a great feeling? You mean waking up in the mountains? No, getting off the damn floor.", "c": ["Bobby", "Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "I kept on being awakened by the growls of some big, hairy animal. There it is again. Wake up, Jim.", "c": ["Tony", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Where the hell am I? You're in the mountains. Oh, yeah? What are we, lumberjacks? No, we're cab drivers. Oh, I bet we don't do much business up here.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Something ate all our food! We're going to die.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "What did the pioneers do in a situation like this? They built cities and moved into them.", "c": ["Alex", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "What does 'forage' mean?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "There ain't an animal around here. Maybe word got out that I'm around.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "What did you catch? See for yourself. That the bait you used? Bait? That's my catch.", "c": ["Bobby", "Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "This one really put up a fight.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "We're going to die. Isn't anybody going to contradict me?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Now they can take our bodies down the mountain in a toboggan.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Now they can take our bodies down the mountain in a toboggan.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "I know they're blue berries. What I'm saying is, they may not be blueberries. And while all blue berries are blue not all blue berries are blueberries. I've mistaken blue berries for blueberries.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Cabin fever.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "If you would have gotten a pineapple commercial we'd be in Hawaii now... eating!", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "If it's 4:00, I get to suck the fish bones again.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "I'm not thinking about cheeseburgers. I'm not thinking about pork chops. I'm not thinking about pot roast. I'm not thinking about Twinkies.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Hey, you know something? I'm full.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Sit here and wait for dinner to walk through the door?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "It's a turkey. Ernie? Ernie's a turkey? Well, doesn't he look like an Ernie?", "c": ["Alex", "Bobby", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "I been hunting for a big ugly moose. I ain't shooting no little birdie.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "He does look like an Ernie.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Lord, we know this bird was one of Your miracles. No easier to create than a billion stars or a single grain of sand. And if we hadn't gotten so hungry, Your faithful servant Alex here would never have snuck up on it and blown its brains out.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Lord, we know this bird was one of Your miracles. No easier to create... than a billion stars or a single grain of sand. It was a truly magnificent creature, Your Honor.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "And if we hadn't gotten so hungry, Your faithful servant Alex here... would never have snuck up on it and blown its brains out...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "That's mine! Save some for me!", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "I always thought so.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "I always thought so.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "What the hell did you say to her?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Mild"}, {"t": "Do you have the correct time? My watch stopped. / The correct time is you're eight minutes late.", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Do you think that helping someone who was almost killed in an automobile accident is a good excuse? / No. / Then you're going to hate mine.", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "The reason I was late is because I was dancing around my apartment with joy. / Oh, yeah? Hey, what happened? / My beloved grandmother died.", "c": ["Latka", "Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "That's good news? / No, that's terrible news. Bobby, what kind of a person are you?", "c": ["Bobby", "Latka"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "What? What? / Cookies.", "c": ["Bobby", "Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Well? What do you say? / Well, they're, uh, not bad.", "c": ["Latka", "Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Did you swallow yet? / Did you swallow? Mine seems to be getting larger. I feel like I'm going to be chewing for the rest of my life.", "c": ["Latka", "Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "maybe tomorrow we could have another bite.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Tastes vary. / Tastes very what?", "c": ["Bobby", "Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "just like the famous Amos... The chocolate chip cookie tycoon.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "You're warning me when I'm warning you? / I am warning you. / Yeah? You're warning me? / Yes. I am quitting.", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "You cannot fire me if I am going to quit. / No, no, no. You can't quit because I'm firing you! / But you cannot fire me if I quit first. / I quit! You're fired!", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "It doesn't matter who says it first. It's who says it loudest. You're fired! / You're fired! You're fired! You're fired! / I quit! I quit! I quit!", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "I'm fired. / You quit! / Thank you very much.", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "The engine's back together. Got a few pieces left over. / Close enough.", "c": ["Jeff", "Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "He quit! / I had gas I miss more than the guy I fired. / He quit!", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "I don't actually like them, but they're fun to chew.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "They kind of grow on you. And they last forever in your mouth. I put one on the bedpost last night. Started on it again this morning.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "So how was your trip? / Ah, great. Omaha is lovely this time of year. / I thought you were hitchhiking to Washington. / I did too, but I ended up in Omaha.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "I must have used the wrong thumb.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "It's great to be back!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "You didn't happen to run into your brains while you were out there, did you? / No, but I wasn't really looking.", "c": ["Louie", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "They were baked by a guy I fired. / He quit!", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "They got a nice little surprise inside.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Peru, I believe. / Southern Peru. / '74, before the rains. / Poignant, but not overbearing.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Well, if you chew them for a while you get a feeling of euphoria, increased energy, strength and stamina. It's also rumored to heighten your sexual desires. And it makes you see beauty in the most repulsive things.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Did anyone ever tell you that you have the most adorable ear?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Police are on the phone, Louie. / Tell them to mind their own business.", "c": ["Jeff", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "so I wrote an opera.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "I never thought about writing an opera before, but it sounded like it would be fun. It was. I'm going to write another one tonight.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Hey, Bob! / What are you doing? / Huh? / What are you doing? / Afternoon Of The Faun.", "c": ["Alex", "Bobby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Do you realize the entire human experience of the universe can be summed up in one sentence?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "I have verifiable proof of the existence of God. / Later, later... This stuff gets flat.", "c": ["Elaine", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Bobby Wheeler is turning into a gazelle... Elaine Nardo is in the chamber of horrors... Here's the weirdest thing of all. I'm standing here in the garage on my day off.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "And I came in here just because I wanted, uh... some more cookies... Hey, Lou! There's something wrong with these cookies.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Look at Banta, here. He's eaten a billion of them. There's nothing the matter with him. Tony, how you feeling? / I'm fine.", "c": ["Louie", "Tony"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Whoo! / Sixteen.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "but, you know, I would trade it all if I would only stop talking for one minute.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "This explains why my grandmother's cookies were so popular with musicians in my country.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "She was always knitting doilies, you know? A doily here, a doily there, doilies everywhere. 'Merry Christmas, Latka. Here is a doily for you.' Oh, everywhere you look is doilies. I'd like to give you a doily, you old bag! I'll give you a doily!", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean not for the houses, the cars or the women? / Oh, maybe it was the same reasons.", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "You're hallucinating. / Oh... I'm only in your mind. / Well, then welcome to my mind. If I knew you were coming I would have cleaned it up a bit.", "c": ["Alex", "Famous Amos", "Latka"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "success, fame, fortune... All that stuff... It's truly overrated. / Oh. / I wanted to tell you that the really important things in life are the simple things... / Oh, the simple things. / ... but I can't. / Why? / 'Cause it's a crock.", "c": ["Famous Amos", "Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "Try cupcakes. Try jelly rolls. Aluminum siding. What's the difference? Nothing at all. Just get rich.", "c": ["Famous Amos"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "I just became an American.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Latkas Cookies"}, {"t": "have I ever told you that you have a magnificent telephone voice?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Uh, well, have I told you today?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "I was under the impression you liked it kissed.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "That's a man walking, all right.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "That's 'A Man Standing in Garage.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "A duel of wits between unarmed opponents.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "When did they put that in here?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Can he hear us in there?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Ignatowski, why don't you try renting out that vacant lot between your ears?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Okeydoke.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "that bloated gasbag would be escaping out the back window.", "c": ["Mrs. McKenzie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "I hope that you and that bloated gasbag patch up that little tiff you're having.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "I picked up a touch of that in Mexico one summer.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "this sounds like one of your little sweaty fantasies.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "I mean... he vanishes. Like he was never born.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "either you or Wheeler are doomed. I'm hoping she notices Wheeler's got the better nose.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "he died with a smile on what was left of his face.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Because if my fooling around with somebody halfway decent upsets my husband... this'll kill him.", "c": ["Mrs. McKenzie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.49, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Look, there doesn't have to be a Sheila... hold on. Hey, Sheila!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Yeah. Genetics.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Why would she pick you? Come on, admit it... You're no Curly Melnick.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "If I wasn't about to die, I'd be sick.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "There is no way in the world that you are going to seduce me. I want you!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "He can't stand the sight of you. Then I'll have his woman.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Both of them?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "That's 'Pleasuree.' It's very expensive. Oh, it should be. Poor people shouldn't smell like that.", "c": ["Mrs. McKenzie", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Your palms are getting little sweat marks all over my gown.", "c": ["Mrs. McKenzie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "If we lose each other, I'll meet you at the headboard.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "I have a war wound. What war? I can't remember. I had my memory shot off.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "All I want to do is go to bed.", "c": ["Mr. McKenzie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Remember the last time we kissed and made up like this? It took us three whole days.", "c": ["Mr. McKenzie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "I may be slow, but once I catch it, it sticks.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "Bobby, when the hell are you going to get this thing out of here?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Thy Bosss Wife"}, {"t": "God knows, I hate to interrupt the important conversations I know you're all having", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "What is that, 'Mulch'? Mulcher? Melcher. Terrible handwriting. Nerves go first, huh, Maxie?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "A lovely calendar depicting 12 different scenes of American highways. Use it in good health.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Rodriguez, 993. Murphy... Louie... Beat it, Max.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Look, uh, Jeff, if anybody wants me, I'll be in the library.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "I'm always finding stuff people leave behind... Old magazines, gloves, meat... Not good meat... chewy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Anything that goes into Louie's cage vanishes from the face of the earth. Yes, with the definite exception of Louie himself.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Latka! What the hell is this, Iwo Jima?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Ten bucks, Wheeler.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Go! Shoo! Shoo! Scram, mush, mush!", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Oh! A pen! Good. Good. Hey, Iggy! Look, I got a pen.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "I've never seen a human being experience such joy. A human being couldn't.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "There isn't any Norman Zelnick.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "We're just snooping through his briefcase. And loving every minute of it.", "c": ["Bob", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "'Wednesday, lunch, Liza.' Minnelli. Doesn't say. Got to be.", "c": ["Bob", "Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "So, the only way you're not gonna look as crazy as you are is if I look as crazy as you are?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean, if I go to this one party it's gonna save me from Dripdom?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Too bad, Lou. Yeah. We'll tell you all about it afterwards. Right. Bye-bye, Lou. I'll give your regards to Woody.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Hey. It's the Andrews Sisters. Hey. You guys look great. How'd you know it was us?", "c": ["Party guests", "Tony"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not too big a man to admit that I was right.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! They hit Pearl Harbor again?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "No, Jim, this is a costume party, remember? You were supposed to wear an outfit.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "I look wigged out, huh?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Oh, they're Dramamine. See, I get a little seasickness on boats. This boat is tied to the pier, Bob. Yeah-yeah, I know, but it's the motion that gets to me.", "c": ["Bob", "Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "But don't go away. It might wear off.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "You again. Everywhere I go, he's there.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "I've heard he was always good to Tonto. I was getting to that, Jim.", "c": ["Jim", "Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "You could take him a fish.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "What makes them so special? I know exactly what you're saying, Alex. And I bet there's plenty of famous people that nobody even knows about.", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, kind of. I threw up on him.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Might have given 'Hi. Nice party' a try first, Bob.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Celebrities don't ask other celebrities for their autographs.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "First... first here is George Hanson. It says, 'Best wishes to my buddy, Latka.' And next here is, uh... 'Nice costume, Latka.' Signed... is signed by Fran Petricini.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "You know, suddenly, I'm not so sure we are where we think we are.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Boy, I know that feeling.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Woody Allen would have been about four years old in World War II. I didn't know when he got started in show business.", "c": ["Alex", "Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "That means I didn't throw up on Hal Prince. You're still young.", "c": ["Bob", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm Alex Rieger. I'm Gus Bates. Wait up, you guys!", "c": ["Alex", "Gus"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "\u266a Bei mir bist du sch\u00f6n \u266a Please let me explain \u266a 'Bei mir bist du sch\u00f6n' means that you're grand \u266a", "c": ["Tony", "Bob", "Alex as Andrews Sisters"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "The Costume Party"}, {"t": "Miss Taxi Cab Driver, do you know where I spent my afternoon? In a bar? I was in a bar. And do you... do you know what I was doing? Drinking. I was drinking. You know... you know what I was thinking about? Loneliness? You too, huh?", "c": ["Drunk Passenger", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Are you sure you can find your plane? Listen, if I'm late, they're going to wait for me.", "c": ["Elaine", "Drunk Passenger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Gimme an E! Gimme an E! Gimme an A-S-T! Gimme an S! Gimme an S! Gimme an I-D-E! East Side, East Side! Go, team, go! Yay! Never heard of it.", "c": ["Mary", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "I must say, I was a little startled to see our homecoming queen driving a cab. Uh, Mary, uh, I wasn't the homecoming queen. Oh, who was? You were. That's right.", "c": ["Mary", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "I remember... I wasn't able to be in the senior class play because I was too busy dating.", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Maybe I should have gone first.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Well... regardless, you... certainly look nice.", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Yes, well, I'm even happier than I seem! Happier! Because, uh, you see, I have a steady guy too. Oh, great. Yeah. What's his name? Uh... it's, uh... Billboard. Bill Board.", "c": ["Elaine", "Mary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Me too.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "I swear to God, I didn't even floss.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Does she, have, uh... frizzy blonde hair, granny glasses and smoke French cigarettes? No. Well, if you run into somebody like that, I'd like to meet her.", "c": ["Tony", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "People you run over are better off than you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "One of those things to keep you from sticking to your seat.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "What obedience school was that, Bobby?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "That's because you could take your brains out and pass 'em around the room.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Blue? I'd like a blue thing to keep me from sticking. It's my favorite color.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "There's only... is one thing you need in life and to make... make you happy, and that is friends. That's all you need is friends, and then you be happy.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "You-you also need the food and clothes. You need, you need food and clothes and you need the friends and the food and clothes, then you be happy person.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "So, if you have friends and the food and clothes and the nice car, it is all you need. You don't need anything else. Except a home. You need the home.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "And a beautiful woman, uh, who have a nice body that make you, uh, foam, foaming at the mouth.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "You know, as long as you have the house with the pool, the car and the beautiful woman... the friends would only get in the way. Forget I said anything. I don't know what I'm talking about.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Hey, Elaine, it's that Mary Parker. You know, the woman whose life is so much better than yours.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Hello, Mary, uh, I'm sorry to interrupt. I'd just like to say hello. Hello. Oh, who am I? I'm Elaine's guy.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "if they can just invent something to keep me from sticking to my shorts.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Bill Board? Hey, you came this close to being Karmen Ghia.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "May I have a glass of water? What's the matter? Your arm's broken?", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Well, I don't have as much trouble as my two brothers: Clip and Switch.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Well, actually, I was browsing in the Metropolitan Museum of Art one day and, uh, I came upon the most exquisite work of art I've ever seen in my life. I mean, I couldn't take my eyes off her. I just stood there, stunned.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Oh, two, three years. Three years? Yeah. Time had lost all meaning.", "c": ["Alex", "Mary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Me?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "We were sunbathing on a beach in the Mediterranean. Cannes. I don't think it was Cannes, dear. Where was it? It was Nice. I've never been to Cannes. Well, dear, it doesn't really matter. It was a beach, right? Yes, dear, it was a beach, but...", "c": ["Mary", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "I'd like one of him.", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Do you think you could let go of my hand, so I could cut my meat? Oh. Well, I guess you have to eat. I'll give it right back. Promise? Okay.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Jason prayed to God and asked for a train set. Well, the next day, he came to Elaine and he said he'd prayed for a train set and didn't get one. And Elaine was very worried. And she said, 'I'm sorry, Jason, that God didn't answer your prayers.' And Jason said, 'Oh, but he did answer my prayers, Mommy. He just said no.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "I didn't remember that story. How did you remember it? I remember everything.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "What is our song, dear? We don't have one.", "c": ["Mary", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "I'm the most exquisite work of art you've ever seen in your life! Oh, that! No, I'd say that to anybody!", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "See? Nothing. Nothing? Nothing.", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Well, I better go now. It was nothing. Nothing.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Elaines Old Friend"}, {"t": "Well, I guess my memory's okay then.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "I usually don't unless they've been especially nice.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Man, I told you this was the wrong locker room.", "c": ["Shotgun"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Who else you know rakes in five dollars a second?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Well, it depends what you mean by knockout. I mean, uh, sometimes I'm just taking a rest, and the ref is counting real fast...", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "He leads with his right.", "c": ["Dr. Webster"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "All you did was ask me my name. Yeah, but you gave me the wrong answer. But once you told me what it was, I recognized it.", "c": ["Tony", "Dr. Webster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "A lot of guys yelled at me to get out of the ring. Some of them might have been doctors.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "I'd like a shot at him.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "I been knocked out more times than I can remember.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Tony, you're not helping your case.", "c": ["Dr. Webster"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "\u266a Happy birthday, crazy lady \u266a", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "I just get hit on by a crummier class of creeps.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Hey, foxy lady.", "c": ["Random creep"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Hey, foxy lady.", "c": ["Creep"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "No, but he sure was a good listener.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Oh, the glamour's part of it.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Oh, the glamour's part of it.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "you know, like death.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "I love Chinese restaurants.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "I made a fortune betting against you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "She's starting not to look like one.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Only the playwright and anyone trapped in the theater.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Years.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Must have got it in a fire sale. That and the suit he's wearing. Does he work in there, or is he just on display?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "That explains his buenos dias yesterday.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "And if that's what he wants, there are easier ways of getting there.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "You've been called 'sir' for the last time.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "And, besides, the bull doesn't stand a chance.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "I'll pay you $1,000 if you don't hurt my face. Give me five. All right! I mean dollars. Okay.", "c": ["Tony", "Martinez"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "I mean dollars.", "c": ["Tony's opponent"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "if you put on your shoes last, it won't be so hard pulling your pants on over them.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Just the one with reality.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Me llamo Kid Rodriguez. Kid Rodriguez, me llamo. Hola.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "these two scrappy, Latino contenders", "c": ["Ring announcer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "You lost weight.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "You think I'm quitting with a record like that?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "La cucaracha, man.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "el stopo", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "I'm going to get together all the money I made in boxing all these years, buy myself a new suit.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Out Of Commission"}, {"t": "Driver asks if Plaza Hotel is in New York, then passengers want another cab", "c": ["Jim", "Passengers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "You picked us up at the airport... Here we are, gentlemen. The airport.", "c": ["Jim", "Passenger"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "I think the little Dutch boy in Iggy's brain just let the water go.", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Barbed wire, if they're smart.", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Being able to think without moving your lips?", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "What was my best night? You once broke $12.", "c": ["Jim", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Well, you're on the right track. You've already made a perfect ass of yourself.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "but he'll answer to Waterhead... uh... Mr. Halloween... The Fog... or hey, Scuzzo.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Why don't we try thinking like Jim for a minute, okay? No, let's not do that anymore. It hurts.", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Three hundred and seventy-three dollars?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "A handshake would have done it, boss.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Us old-time New Yorkers still like to refer to it as Sixth Avenue. Old habits die hard.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "On your right, you'll notice a group of nuns going into Radio City Music Hall. It's... By the way, it's a bit nippy out there today.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Sir, if providing comfort, service and satisfaction to my customers is strange then you can call me a freak. Thank you. You're a freak. Thank you.", "c": ["Jim", "Passenger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Fifteen dollars?! I was only kidding, boss. Ah! Oh! That one's on you, boss!", "c": ["Jim", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "We're like Roy and Trigger.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Below that, you have your lice, your pond scum... your Wheelers.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "What about me, Louie? I stand corrected.", "c": ["Unknown Character", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "By the way, do you spell your name with one 'O' or two? One. I'll get it right next time, Booby.", "c": ["Jim", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Yours is the only one that says that.", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "It's been under the blanket so long, I forgot.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Good man, Booby.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "What am I... nuts?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Delawinians didn't stand a chance.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "You mean horses swim? They not only swim, they hold their breath forever. They play the whole game and never come up for air.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "What are they, nuts? Delawarians?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "This is going to be a dogfight. Come on, man, put on my hockey game. That's not hockey.", "c": ["Alex", "Unknown Character"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "If something really important happens anywhere in the world... Night or day... You can always change the channel.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Zen And The Art Of Cab Driving"}, {"t": "Hey, Elaine, it still raining out? / No. They opened a fire hydrant, and I've been playing in it.", "c": ["Unknown driver", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Avast, you lubbers!", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "What happens when it showers? / Big bookings are ours. / And what happens when it rains? / Monetary gains.", "c": ["Louie", "Iggy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "What happens when it drizzles? / Shut up, Ignatowski.", "c": ["Ignatowski", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "What happens when it drizzles? / Shut up, Ignatowski.", "c": ["Iggy", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "What an ear for poetry that man has.", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "I put my mother in a rest home so I am having a lavish party at my now bachelor pad and none of you cab drivers are invited.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, you're breaking our hearts, Lou.", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "I'm really sorry that none of you can make it. / What time should I be there, Louie?", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Any time you want, Latka. As soon as you get there I'm throwing your foreign butt down the stairs. / Well, in that case, I might be a little late.", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Louie, eat your dinner. / Louie, turn down the television. / Louie, don't use the doilies to clean the beer off your chin.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "You mean you didn't go in and check the place out? / What the hell do I look like, Mike Wallace?", "c": ["Unknown driver", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "There's a city full of mildewing people out there just dying to snuggle up next to you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "The way I figure it, Rieger, you're the only guy in this garage who won't embarrass me in front of my friends.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Make sure you don't have any holes in your shorts, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "I mean, I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's sort of a nagging curiosity in me. You know that kind of morbid curiosity when you pass a car wreck, you just got to slow down.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Or when you have a sore in your mouth you put your tongue against it so you know it hurts. Or when you have a container of milk that you know has gone sour. You just got to smell it before you throw it away.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "I can't wait either.", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Orson Welles's necktie.", "c": ["Unknown party guest"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, it's not the cops.", "c": ["Unknown party guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Boy, the stories were just flying around here a minute ago. Hey, Lyle, tell Alex the one about how you woke up in the morning and your gums were bleeding.", "c": ["Louie", "Lyle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "No, no, no, that's okay. That's okay. Don't be repetitious on my account.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "You know how a crowd always gathers around on the street to watch when some guy's had a heart attack? We were the last ones to leave.", "c": ["Lyle or party guest"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "The ties that bind.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Got to go. / Where you going? / We got another party.", "c": ["Louie's friends", "Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Well, listen, I hope they have a couch.", "c": ["Party guest leaving"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Boy! What an evening! Oh, gosh, it's great to know guys you can get silly with like that. I'm probably not going to remember any of this in the morning.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "You don't like being here alone, do you, Louie? / What, are you kidding? I've been waiting for this all my life, Rieger. I love being alone.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Look at this stuff. Geez! Look. This stupid tea cup. Her little shawl. She left her little shoes here. Look at her little shoes, Alex.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "She left her little shoes here. Look at her little shoes, Alex. / No, no. / One shoe. / Come on. / No.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "She burned my dinner. I called her a name, she called me a name and then I hid her teeth.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "We had that same old argument we always have. She burned my dinner. I called her a name, she called me a name and then I hid her teeth.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "You hid her teeth?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "If anybody's going to do any calling it's going to be her because a man never begs. Ma taught me that.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "I lost ma.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "If you're inviting me out like a guy invites his buddy for a drink, that's okay, but if you're doing this out of pity, well, let's forget it. / It's pity, Lou. / Well, a beer's a beer.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "What are you staring at? Get your stupid eyes off me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "What, are you kidding, Rieger? I'm on top of the world, sitting on a rainbow.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Lyle shot Huey. / He shot him? / Yeah. It was an accident. / He just wounded him. / Oh. / Six times.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Must put a strain on their friendship.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Louie... yesterday I snuck out early. Also, I figured out a way of getting coffee from the machine without paying money. Louie, are you listening to me?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Hey, uh, a nice suit you're wearing. Maybe it will come back in style.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Maybe it will come back in style. / Is, is, is that a nose, your nose or are you sucking on the banana? / I don't want to say you're ugly, but you know...", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "I don't want to say you're ugly, but you know... / Don't press your luck, Latka.", "c": ["Latka", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Don't press your luck, Latka. / Okay, Louie. I'm sorry. Boy, I was cooking.", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Look, Lou, do me a favor, would you, and don't mention anything about your mother, okay? / Okay. She's forgotten.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Jeff, you watch the cage for me here. I'm going to go play cards with the guys. I was invited.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Who raised Louie? / Ma raised Louie. / That's it. Ma raised me.", "c": ["Unknown driver", "Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Louie, you're becoming a sniveling, weepy obnoxious boob and I'm getting sick of it. Do you hear me?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Look in that mirror. Look at that. That's you. / Is that me? / Yeah, that's you! / I'm a boob!", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Get ready, world. Louie De Palma is back. Latka, I'm docking you a week's pay.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "And nobody ever ask me to play cards again. Louie De Palma does not play cards with losers.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to get my mommy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, hum a few bars of this, crazy lady.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "What's the matter with you? You never seen a man visiting his mother before? Get out of here.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Ma, when you're not there, it's so quiet I can hear the toilet running.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Elaine Nardo. / Well, I, I know I told you that she's nuts about me, but... but she's a little overeager.", "c": ["Ma (offscreen)", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "I know I told you that she's nuts about me, but... but she's a little overeager.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "All those women... I'm always telling you about that are after me... I'm making that up, Ma. I'm a lonely man, Ma. I need you there.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "If I come home, will you be nice to me? / For a while.", "c": ["Ma (offscreen)", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Louies Mother"}, {"t": "Sometimes, I can't find mine for days.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Did you look over in Brooklyn? That's usually where mine turns up.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Jim, your apartment is in Brooklyn. / Again?", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "When did you ever sleep on my couch? / The night you showed slides from your ski trip.", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "You look that bad in the morning, huh?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "I thought that was Desire Under The Yum Yum Tree. / That's another good one, Ton.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Rub Louie's nose in it.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "I insist on telling everybody how wrong I was about you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Bob has landed the lead in a major New York Broadway production.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "starring role in one of the biggest cross-country tours in the history of the American Theater.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Bobby's got a teensy part with a sleazy company in three trailer parks.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him!", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "It's this old interior decorator trick I learned, called cleaning.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Don't seem like you been gone a month. / I've been gone a week. / That feels right.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "You smell something funny? / No. / Neither do I.", "c": ["Bobby", "Elaine", "Bobby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Quit the tour, huh? / Yeah, I quit. / Got fired. / We're talking semantics here.", "c": ["Alex", "Bobby", "Bobby", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "You got fired for not waiting till you got there?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "I lasted a day in Florida... I spent three days on the bus ride back.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Tony, you call the vice squad. I'm standing watch...", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "You try anything on her, and I'll kill you. / This is Elaine we're talking about, remember? / Elaine, you try anything on him, and I'll kill you.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "I know a girl on a bus who trusted him. Look what happened.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "The man's a hound. / Yeah, anywhere, anytime, anything with a pulse.", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "You think they heard us? / No, I don't think so. Do you? / Hell, yes. Me, too.", "c": ["Alex", "Tony", "Tony"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Orgies where anything goes. People wandering around naked in public places. Sex that means no more than a handshake on the street.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Call me corny, but I miss those things.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "How dumb do you think he is, Wheeler?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "You'll be hearing the pitter-patter of little hams in the house.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Like what? / Bobby's career, Bobby's dreams... Bobby. / How did you ever drag all that out of him? / I think I said, 'How are you?'", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine", "Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "In my country, it is tradition for a man and woman to live together before they are married. And to make love in every possible way so then they can see if they want to get married after that.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Bobby?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "You think she might come on to me?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Well, if not, could you please give her my phone number?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "You know, Elaine, you might want to put a robe or two over your negligee.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Hello, Alex, it's Bobby. She's all over me. / Who were you calling this late? / Dad. Good old Dad. / I thought your father passed away. / Well, maybe that will make up for the times I didn't call when he was alive?", "c": ["Bobby", "Alex", "Bobby", "Alex", "Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "'The road to naughty-naughty'? / Come on, Elaine. I'm trying to be delicate about this thing. / You want me to come right out and say it? / O-Okay. I'll come right out and say it... You and I were that far away from doing foo-foo.", "c": ["Elaine", "Bobby", "Bobby", "Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "You're making me yearn for four-letter words.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "It's 3:00 in the morning, Alex. What are you doing here? / I was just out taking a walk. / Barefoot? / Yeah. I, uh... I like the feeling of snow in my toes.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex", "Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "I lost my slippers in a snowbank, see?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "That telephone call a few minutes ago, that was to Sergeant Preston of the Yukon, right?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Bobby, the pope does that.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Well, then you two must care a lot.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "I mean, I lost a boyfriend. / I lost my job in Florida. / I lost the feeling in eight of my toes.", "c": ["Elaine", "Bobby", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Bobbys Roommate"}, {"t": "Louie's still coming on to the new cab driver, huh? Yeah. I don't know how any woman can resist him, you know?", "c": ["Bobby", "Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Score. Score.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Look, Janine, don't... don't listen to them. That's just a little of their crude garage humor.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Banta, I was driving cabs when you were in the third grade... Your first year in third grade.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "I told her, 'If he gives you any trouble just rap him on the snout with a rolled-up newspaper.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "The way he treats women like objects, pieces of meat. I mean, doesn't he know that thinking went out two to three months ago?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "That's because you don't have a great pair of legs. Yeah, but Louie don't know that.", "c": ["Tony", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Have you ever noticed... that when you put the pencil behind your ear it tends to slither out when you go around sharp curves?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Voila.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Well, what difference does it make as long as she's okay and nobody got pictures?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Oh, poor thing. Hasn't she suffered enough?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "He's trying to make friends with her so she won't sue him for his eyeballs.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "where 'safety first' is our only motto.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "She'll be up and doddering about any time now.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "We wouldn't want to have any accidents.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Well, thanks for picking up the conversation, Rieger.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Do you know how many jelly beans I can hold in my mouth at one time?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Well, I'll have to find out somewhere else.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "And as you can see, we also hire those less fortunate than ourselves.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "No. This is her nap time.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Yes. My lawyers are forcing me into suing you for a million dollars.", "c": ["Edith"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Everything, including the gas I used when I ran her over.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Louie's math: '$100 a week... a million bucks would take... two... 200 years'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Yeah, well... that sounds a lot longer than it really is.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "I know that feeling.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "If I can't beat your rap, I'll eat a bug.", "c": ["Louie reading ad"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Poor lady's got rough luck.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "I knew it wasn't my fault!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Besides, with a nose like that you're better than a bloodhound.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "That's what you consider sweet-talking, Louie?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "'That's what you consider sweet-talking, Louie?'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Really? Did they get you on drugs? No. I was already on drugs.", "c": ["Bobby", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Yeah. They got to be legal though, Bobby.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Come on, Edith, save it for the judge.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Well, there's a first time for everything.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "What's what?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "He jumped out of the cab.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "The system works.", "c": ["Sonny Bergmeyer via Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Our deal's off, Aardvark nose.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "I smell blood.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Don't worry. She'll get out. She'll get out of the chair. She'll get out before she hits the stairs. Don't worry. Jump out, Edith. Jump out, Edith!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Rieger, what floor are we on? The 16th.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "I have no further questions, Your Honor.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'll say. I never seen a judge try to hit anybody with his gavel before.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Louie Bumps Into An Old Lady"}, {"t": "I didn't know ham could keep that long under hot lights.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Have you ever met, or do you know, anybody who's ever won one of those contests?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "I do. Who? Me. I have won. I have a match. I won a complete men's wardrobe.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "No, no. A fly swatter.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "No, he was a good worker and a very nice man.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "who got her cat's head stuck in her mouth?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "[Awkward silence and topic change after Jim's bizarre story]", "c": ["Bobby", "others"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "A 30-millimeter cannon fired at the stage during production could not hit anything worth saving.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Hey, I'd like to see that. What time do they shoot off the cannon?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "it should henceforth be a felony to yell 'Patty Ganzel' in a crowded theater.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "'Slime wad' is two words.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Purple. Not as close.", "c": ["Elaine", "Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Fate.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Did the lady get the cat's head out of her mouth?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Well, I know a cat and a lady who care plenty.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Louie, how could you?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "This fortress... He's going to get in. No way. This is hermetically sealed, this cage.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Hey, Bobby, it's your agent. My agent's calling me?! Okay, okay, Louie, you stay right there.", "c": ["Alex", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Now I'm a hero and great-looking.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Bing.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Hey, Bob, that was... A disaster. No, Bobby. The play stinks. I stink.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "I don't know why everybody say it is too long and boring. You know, I enjoyed it and to me, I think it was just right. Well, there's a second act coming up, Latka. Not for me, there isn't.", "c": ["Latka", "Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Ha! You crazy guy. Charles Darwin, eh? Loony!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Yeah, I guess it feels that way, huh? No, Darwin is 40 years older in Act Two.", "c": ["Tony", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Uh, Jim, why don't you just keep it?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "I mean, in that second act, you were sweating like a pig. I've never, never, never seen anybody sweat like that. That's what I call talent.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Mr. Carbuncle? My name's Jim Ignatowski.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Is he the playwright?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Are you insane? That play is an excellent argument for dying young.", "c": ["John Bowman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "you can keep on acting in church basements and supermarket openings, and your own mirror", "c": ["John Bowman"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "No review will keep you anonymous and you can keep on acting in church basements and supermarket openings, and your own mirror for the rest of your life.", "c": ["Bowman"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Thank you.", "c": ["John Bowman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Right, and you thought you stunk!", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Bobby And The Critic"}, {"t": "Well, uh, don't hold me to this, because I could be dead wrong, but if it's what I think it is, I haven't got a clue.", "c": ["Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "The tires had to have treads. The brakes had to have linings.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Anyone here go near that goose?", "c": ["Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Maybe it's time for us to shed these old, lousy, nowhere jobs and find new, lousy, nowhere jobs.", "c": ["Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Visual: Mackenzie hanging from noose in office", "c": ["Mackenzie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "I wonder how long it took him to come up with that one.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Yeah, unfortunately he was the kind of guy who would shoot his accountant.", "c": ["Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "'Cause you owe 300 bucks.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "I gave the locker room prayer for the Giants that week. The team looked so up for the game, I didn't see how they could lose. Especially with the 14-point spread.", "c": ["Father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Father, isn't it illegal and a sin to bet with a bookmaker, even with the spread? / 14 points.", "c": ["Tony", "Father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Nah, nah, you don't understand. He only takes cash.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Well, as long as you don't put your faith in the Giants again.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Visual: Lou-Lou hands Tony the priest's watch as payment", "c": ["Lou-Lou", "Tony"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Splendid, Miss Nardo. I'm George Givens.", "c": ["George Givens"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "No one quite knows who I am... Some people know my face. Some people know my name. But very few of them put them together.", "c": ["George Givens"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "You're right, you are forgettable!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "What do you think, I write those reports to be read?", "c": ["George Givens"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "The chair recognizes... what's-his-name.", "c": ["Meeting Chair"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Nuclear weapons, hospitals and T-shirts.", "c": ["George Givens"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Well, thank you, but they're not mine... That picture came with the frame.", "c": ["George Givens"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "I call the little boy Skipper.", "c": ["George Givens"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Her husband drinks a little more than I'd like him to...", "c": ["George Givens"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Let's break 'em.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "What was that? / I didn't like it.", "c": ["Unknown Driver", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "I, uh... I'm your-name-here, but you can call me nickname.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "I did it, I got in!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "more than... something else.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "A book? / Oh, yeah, yeah... I didn't get the vacuum job. I'm selling encyclopedias.", "c": ["Customer", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Okay. 'Come on, Latka, there's a lot of tables to be cleaned.' / You know, I-I would not be offended by a tip.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Well, I would be by that one.", "c": ["Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Well, I would be by that one.", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "On The Job 1"}, {"t": "Tonight's the night the losers get together to share their success stories. It's going to be a short evening.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "I can't stick around. I got to get back to work. I just stopped by to have a beer and gloat.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Hey, Louie, you forgot to sign your unemployment check.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "I didn't know Guys and Dolls was in town.", "c": ["Mr. Gray"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Snap this picture. Future generations are going to want an exact record of the moment that you hired your greatest salesman. Say 'cheese,' Cheese.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "You don't know how to get dirty.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "I was born dirty, Mr. Gray, and every day I get dirtier... and dirtier!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Trouble, Mr. Gray?", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Go on. And dirtier!", "c": ["Mr. Gray", "Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, Tom, they're a fly-by-night outfit.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Hello there, sweetheart. I don't believe I've had the pleasure. We've met. That's not the pleasure I was talking about.", "c": ["Louie", "Female colleague"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Tomorrow, they'll be cranking out Cheryl Tiegs by the dozens.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "If you're in the half that's still around do you want to be rich or not?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Hello, Mrs. Greer? Have you decided what to do with your husband's life insurance settlement yet? Well, I noticed in the obits this morning that he died last night.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Oh, oh, oh, well, well, um, I'll call back in a... you know, after the services. All right, in the meantime, think chemicals and electronics.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Hello, Myron Schwartz? This is your cousin, Louis Ginzberg. No, I was at your wedding. We met behind the chopped liver.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Oh, well, is your mommy home? No? Well, do you know where your mommy keeps her checkbook?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "You simply don't fit into our organization. I rushed you a little bit, didn't I? I'm sorry, I... I made a mistake.", "c": ["Mr. Gray"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Everybody makes noises when they eat. Everybody makes eating noises when they eat. Yours are not eating noises. Yours are not... human noises.", "c": ["Mr. Gray", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I certainly have no complaints about your ethics. You have no ethics.", "c": ["Mr. Gray"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "The problem is... we can't stand you. Everyone's complaining. It's nothing personal, you're just... disgusting!", "c": ["Mr. Gray"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "What you call disgusting, I call selling!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "I couldn't agree more. [Steals something from the desk]", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "So long, loser.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "That's a nice outfit. Thanks a lot, but you got to understand, this is not what I do for a living. You just do it for fun?", "c": ["Cynthia Beck", "Bobby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Well, I've always admired your jelly beans.", "c": ["Cynthia Beck"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Well, I've always admired your jelly beans.", "c": ["Cynthia Beck"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "I've come all the way from the enchanted lettuce patch just to spend Easter with you.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "And now, kids, in keeping with the Easter season the Easter bunny has a special surprise for you. He's going to perform a scene from the Broadway play Whose Life Is It Anyway?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Now, you have to pretend that the Easter bunny's paralyzed from the neck down.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "She was so impressed by my performance that she offered me a part. Really? Yeah. What part? The clown at her daughter's birthday party.", "c": ["Bobby", "Others"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "12,391 hairs on my head.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Oh, what the hell, let's make it an even number. 12,390.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "This is how I look when I say, 'This is how I look when I talk.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to The Alex Rieger Show, starring Alex Rieger.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Our first guest this evening, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest juggler in the world. And let's see if I get his name straight here: Alex Rieger!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "I am now going to attempt juggling... backwards. With one leg.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "This is station Y.A.W.N. signing off after an evening of telecasting.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "It's just the first couple of weeks on this job that are kind of tough, you know? But once you've been at it 20 years like I have, boy, you're going to learn to handle it.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "It's time now... for The Harry and Muffy Show! Yeah! Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, who are our guests tonight, Muffy? Harry... you are a sick man.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Harry... you are a sick man.", "c": ["Alex as Muffy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "So okay, so cab driving is a stinky, lousy job that, uh... has no comforts and no dignity and no future, but on the other hand... would anyone like to help me with the other hand? On the other hand we stink at everything else?", "c": ["Alex", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "On the other hand we stink at everything else?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Take this job and shove it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Take this job and shove it.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "Hey... what is it we do? We're cab drivers, Jim. Ah, come on. No, really. Wow!", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "On The Job 2"}, {"t": "I waited till everybody was over at Mario's because I didn't want to take any more razzing over this.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "This is the biggest cockroach in the world... I'm telling you, he barks at the mailman.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Well, it, uh, paralyzes the central nervous system, blocking and then causing cessation of all the metabolic functions. At least, that's what the can says.", "c": ["Exterminator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "I enjoy watching her... she has been in here before. Each time she gets more beautiful than the last.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Can't she tell you're alive by the way you move around and talk and stuff?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "We do not, as a matter of fact, have much luck with the women in my country.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Bobby, if I were you, I would go over and say hello. But, unfortunately, I am me.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "By golly, I will do it. All right. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, first thing, I promise.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Hello, I am Latka Gravas. You're what? Hello, I am Latka Gravas.", "c": ["Latka", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Maybe could I please have a drink with you? Or food? Or... or even gum? Bubble gum?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Then I guess it will not be necessary for us to look for a house over the weekend.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Boy, it sure is a long walk back.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "You just go and have a wonderful time with the woman who makes every tissue in my body scream with desire.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Boy, what a nice person.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "I want to be an American fun guy taking each day in high gear.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Well, how about the time Tony said his uncle was broke, and I said, 'Well, why doesn't he go to the doctor?'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "I am going to 'alter my lifestyle to fit the fast lane.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Me, I like it.", "c": ["Exterminator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "\u266a No bugs allowed \u266a \u266a No bugs allowed. \u266a", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Hey, I love you guys, you're beautiful.", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Hey, Tommy, making any money? What kind of imported beer you got? Schlitz.", "c": ["Latka", "Tommy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "I love you, Tommy, you're a mug. Give me one of those.", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "My name is Vic. I'm into Italian cars, Technics stereos, Australian films and beautiful ladies.", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Vic Ferrari? That isn't your real name, is it? Why don't you tell me after you see how I perform on a tight corner.", "c": ["Karen", "Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "It's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hekyll.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Excuse me, I think these people have mistaken me for someone else. I'm a dime a dozen.", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Corny, but sincere. Gotcha.", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Everybody's beating time with his woman. First Bobby, and now that jerk.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "I don't like this authority trip that you're always laying on me, man.", "c": ["Vic/Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Hey, you just wasted Elvis Costello.", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "You look like a foreign banana.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Hey, I am out man, read my lips.", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Karen is the kind of chick who craves rejection and goes around creating it for herself. So what's a boy to do?", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Ooh-hoo, redheads.", "c": ["Vic/Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Hey, we're all coming from a different direction, and sometimes it doesn't get in synch.", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "My man, Alex. With a heart as big as his schnoz and a brain as sharp as his profile.", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Ooh, hard to get happy after that one.", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "Ooh, hard to get happy after that one.", "c": ["Vic/Latka"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "You dropped a real load of guano on me today, and I think we should get out our shovels", "c": ["Transformed Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "You dropped a real load of guano on me today, and I think we should get out our shovels and see if we can...", "c": ["Vic/Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "I cry at night. Alex, please help me, you've got to help me. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck inside of here.", "c": ["Real Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "I don't like the fast lane.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "I remember I was a cute little guy. I had some kind of an accent. But I've worked at it so hard I've been doing it for so long, I just don't remember what I used to sound like.", "c": ["Confused Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "From here on in, the highway's full of honky-tonks and one-nighters and no place to go when the bars close.", "c": ["Confused Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "No, no, I'm only fooling. Where is your sense of humor?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Latka The Playboy"}, {"t": "In my country, they wear nothing. [...] No skates. [...] No ice. Gravel.", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "No skates. / What do they do, slide around the ice? / No ice. Gravel.", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "You call my-my stupid stuff is stupid stuff? Yeah. I think is not. I think your stupid stuff is stupid stuff, and you calling my stuff is not stupid stuff.", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Because you cannot knock me out. Because, if you do, nobody is going to like you, because I am weak and defenseless and-and cute.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "See? I am winning this argument.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Latka draws a low card and loses the bet to stay quiet, then immediately starts celebrating how great it will be not to hear from Tony", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Hey, Jim, how you doing? Uh, I-I'll get back to you on that, Bobby.", "c": ["Jim", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "I didn't tell you guys about it before because I didn't want you to think I was offbeat or something.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "You'll drink a glass of water very quickly. Somebody is going to mistake you for a girl. You'll do the cancan in a green shirt, wearing a catcher's mask. And then comes the crazy part.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "The worst part is that between now and the end, you're going to be at Mario's, and a beautiful, sexy blonde is going to fall into your arms. You'll be dating each other right up to the end.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "After you, my lady.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "To you, he gave smarts. Banta's got muscle. Nardo's got knobs.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "God gave me the power to spot what everybody else has got.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "When you first look at Ignatowski, you figure this guy must have caught God on a bad day.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Louie gives Alex a blessing by making random gestures and mumbling", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, so far, the only sexy blonde in here is me.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Latka repeatedly tries to communicate while under his vow of silence, getting increasingly frustrated", "c": ["Latka", "Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "I saved up enough money after quitting drugs. [...] Jim, that's a dollar, 35. I quit drugs for a dollar, 35?", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Maybe this guy can see into the future. He definitely can't see anything in the present.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "I'm terribly sorry. That's okay, we were expecting you.", "c": ["Woman", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Testing. Abby-dabby, icky-bicky, abby-dabby, icky-bicky.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "How is your career coming along? Well fine, as a matter of fact... Sorry to hear that, Bobby.", "c": ["Latka", "Bobby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Sunshine Cab. He just walked out the door. Can I take a message?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "You got a 104 degree temperature and projectile vomiting? He's had worse dates.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Hello? No, this is not Mary. Do I sound like a Mary? You have the wrong number. [...] Mary?", "c": ["Alex", "Phone caller"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "It's happening!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die as I lived. Dancing the cancan in a green shirt and a catcher's mask.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Ignatowski's a boob.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Now you did it! I almost apologized!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Reiger, did you see it? It was hideous!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Louie, it was a little girl selling sugar cookies. My favorite.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "Oh my God, a ghost. [...] A talking ghost. [...] A reasonable ghost. [...] A working ghost. [...] A courteous ghost!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "A reasonable ghost. / A working ghost. / A courteous ghost!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Jim The Psychic"}, {"t": "If Elaine Nardo doesn't care enough to tell us personally, then to hell with her.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "I want you to see the Sistine Chapel just the way Michaelangelo saw it.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "it has been our history that there has been a certain attraction between you and me here. Especially you for me.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "it's every decent man's fantasy that Europe is filled with steamy, sultry women just waiting to throw themselves at the feet of some American stud.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "It has been the lesson of my life that nothing that ever sounds that good ever really happens.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Who didn't clean the puke out of cab 415? And yet...", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "How's the French coming along? Just fine. Answer me in French. Just fine.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Yeah, only in a sort of stunning way.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "The walk over here was the longest walk of my life, but the walk back is going to be even longer if you don't smile.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Get lost. ... I'd be very obligated to you as a human being if you'd just let me sit next to you for just a couple of seconds.", "c": ["Woman", "Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "If I have to mace you, I will. That's not mace, that's Binaca. Even Binaca, when you get it in your eye, still stings.", "c": ["Woman", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Alex, how'd it go? Oh, it's a little too early to tell.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "All right, so I'm the oldest guy on the plane. Are you satisfied now?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "What's the difference in our ages anyway, six or seven years? I'd say more like 12, sir. All right, so I'm the oldest guy on the plane. Are you satisfied now?", "c": ["Alex", "Todd"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Todd has just asked us to jog to Germany.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "We could have walked and saved the bus fare. Alex, we're in Europe. Every penny counts.", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "'The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh in front of Buckingham Palace.' ... 'A nice couple we met at the hotel.'", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Ah, Alex, Elaine's platonic friend.", "c": ["James"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "On your date?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Maybe even pick up a wench or two. Ooh! Break some hearts, you rogue.", "c": ["Alex", "James"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Alex asks 'Do you mind?' and sits down alone, followed by 'Watch this' and an apparent pratfall", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "[Greek taverna scene with 'Opa! Yasu!' celebration and Alex getting injured]", "c": ["Alex", "Oumas", "Greeks"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Fish... and friendship. And who's contributing what? Who cares? That's the beauty of it.", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "'The ruins of the temple of Apollo.' 'We didn't do this.'", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Oh, Alexo, to us Greeks, there is no type. Only the sea and love, and love of the sea.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Yo! Yo! Desiree! I'm in here. I'm in here. She's coming. She's coming in. Elaine, excuse me. My date is shimmering in the doorway.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "taxi drivers are held in very high esteem in America. There's a waiting list. People commit suicide if they can't get in. Now, doctors, over in America, you wouldn't want to talk to them. Riffraff.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "What kind of a woman are you? I mean, you meet a guy, and you like him, and just because he can't afford to take you to a nice place, you're gonna dump him? What kind of a person is that? French.", "c": ["Alex", "Desiree"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Why smile when we're all gonna die?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "I'll have a clear broth for now. What comes with that? A sprig of parsley. Can you substitute meatloaf?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "What-what... what comes with that? A sprig of parsley. Can you substitute meatloaf?", "c": ["Alex", "Waiter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Of course. I've been waiting for you to loan me money. What'd you think I was going to say? I'd rather be hungry? Pride? Give me money.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "And that monk who broke a 30-year vow of silence just to say wow. In Spanish!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "I got the idea that night in Barcelona when, uh, I heard you in the next room crying yourself to sleep.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I was expecting too much from Europe. I-I-I thought it was all gonna be romance, but instead, it's just all Europe.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "I didn't meet that woman on a cobblestone street who doesn't speak a word of English, and without a word, makes the greatest night of my life.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "You solved the cube! Oh, my gosh, how did you do that? I tore off the little color spots and put them where they should be.", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "'Dear Elaine, the time we spent writing postcards together was the best part of my trip.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "we've seen each other depressed, neurotic, sad, angry, hostile, stupid, ugly.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "I finally got a date in Europe.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Vienna Waits"}, {"t": "Tony's comically wrong attempt at basic multiplication: 'three-sixty-five times two, carry the seven'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Tony: 'Um, they don't ask this kind of stuff on college applications, do they?'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Tommy: 'Seven dollars and thirty cents.' Tony: 'Sure, you went to college.'", "c": ["Tony", "Tommy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Character mentioning one personality is a friend and 'another one owes me 50 bucks'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Alex: 'I believe you can get through life by common sense, coping, and taking 30 showers a day'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Elaine explaining Pokey's funeral: 'Pokey was a rubber toy. With feelings and emotions like any other rubber toy.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Arlo: 'I'm as finished as a white suit on a sissy who's been wrestling a half-breed in pig slop'", "c": ["Arlo/Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Character explaining quitting habits: 'no more promiscuity. No more Doris Marie Winslow giving her phone number when it's listed anyway'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Latka returning to normal: 'Where am I? What... why am I dressed like the poop-kicker?'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, that was just a joke. Joke? Joke, yeah, take a joke.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Latka's terrible cowboy impression: 'There is not room enough in this town for the-the-the... the both of us. There is no room. We both-both going to have to go to the other town.'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Latka's emotional reaction to royal wedding: 'I cry and I cry every time I think about them'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Latka's childhood: 'We had the wood, we had the bucket, we had the chair. Then when I was eight, my father got a raise, so we moved someplace indoors'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Then when I was eight, my father got a raise, so we moved someplace indoors.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Vic Ferrari: 'Somebody blew a bundle at the Dodge City Sears'", "c": ["Vic/Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Vic: 'What is this, the \"I'm okay, you're okay\" corral?'", "c": ["Vic/Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Vic about Latka: 'he's all oatmeal north of the eyebrows'", "c": ["Vic/Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "About Uncle Bobka: 'Well, you can try, but you have to talk loud. You see, they buried him 12 years ago'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "About Uncle Bobka: 'You see, he had no children of his own to destroy'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Latka's perspective: 'Well, not so bad. Some children never get to see their uncles'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Alex personality: 'That's right, I'm a cab driver and I don't mind'", "c": ["Alex-Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Doctor's revelation: 'Alex... he's you.'", "c": ["Dr. Jeffries"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 9.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Tony: 'In my high school, they didn't even teach aptitude'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Tony's yearbook: 'That's what it said under my picture in the yearbook'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Alex about boxing referee: 'He was the one in the ring who wasn't beating you senseless'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Louie: 'I kiss the day you went off your nut, Alex'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Alex to Louie: 'I'd like an outsider's opinion' about the human race", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Louie: 'Funnier than you'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "'A buck and a half for your thoughts. Inflation.'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Multiple 'Alex' confusion: 'no, no, not you, Alex, this Alex' repeated", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Alex gives away hockey tickets for concert: 'I should have done that'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Alex's crisis: 'How come he's smarter than I am? How come he's booking more money than I am? How come he's more fun?'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Louie calculating odds: 'Gotta be three to one' for same name, garage, psychiatrist coincidence", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "'But this is a fascinating case. I'm a lucky guy.'", "c": ["Dr. Jeffries"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Alex to psychiatrist: 'Don't hog the therapy'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Alex's self-deprecating analysis: 'she does seem grateful, but I think that's primarily for not inheriting my nose'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Alex's nose anxiety: 'I got a honker here that won't quit!'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "'I'm starting to realize that my love for life is unrequited.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "Latka interrupting Alex's breakthrough: 'So, we had the bucket, we had the wood...'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "'must've been placed here by a \"put-pocket\"'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Mr Personalities"}, {"t": "So how much are they paying you? Nothing. Uh, as a matter of fact, they treat me like a shoeshine boy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "I can't accept any money. Uh... you can pay me for the shoeshine.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "How much do I owe you? Taxi. $150,000.", "c": ["Mitch", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Okay, here goes. I'm gonna have to fire you.", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "In my business, you can be burnt out by the time your skin clears up.", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Oh, then how come you took off Star Trek? What? That was my favorite show.", "c": ["Jim", "Mitch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "The only guy I didn't like was the leader of the Romulans... They gave him things to say that no Romulan would ever say.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "The Pittsburgh Steelers at Marineland.", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "You don't tell me how to program television shows, and I won't tell you how to drive a cab, okay?", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Why are you heading into the exit of the Lincoln Tunnel? Oh, oh, oh! Remember our deal.", "c": ["Mitch", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "It'll never work. He brings his own lunch.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Jim tasting the white powder and everyone's horrified reaction", "c": ["Jim", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "You just had a dance lesson?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "As soon as that helpless little mouse scurries across the floor, you know who's gonna be standing on that table, screeching like a banshee, don't you?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "You always know how to appeal to my finer instincts, Nardo.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Oh. Raymond Burr!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Jim, if you had had this chance a few years ago, you could have saved Star Trek.", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Shall we boldly go where no man has ever gone before?", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "I need to take the rest of the afternoon off. I'm gonna go save television.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Oh, I suppose a periodontist is out.", "c": ["Mitch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm, uh, just looking over the schedule before I shine his shoes.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Yeah, but under the bed. Not on your head.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "What's in that big tank over Paul Lynde's head? Melted cheese.", "c": ["Jim", "Mitch"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Hey, don't feel bad. If you could do your job, you would!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Don't get encouraged, Nardo. Just because Banta fell for it, doesn't mean a mouse will.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "It's right there in your hand. Jim! It's a phone call for you!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "If you can't tell me how happy you are, why did you call?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Hey, it's thanks enough to me that he's walking around with a nice shine on his shoes. Every time he gets a compliment on his shoes, it reflects on me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Some people in this world make themselves victims, and Jim is one of them.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "When do you finally stand up and assert yourself? August.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "And not just because I'm outta black.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Boy, I bet they say some cute things. They do. Like what? Well, I can't think of anything now...", "c": ["Jim", "Mitch"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "My hairdresser... My nephews picked our 6:00 news team.", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "I love champagne... And-and do they have shrimp?... Those... I love those big shrimp.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "My ability to see glimpses of the future is a gift from God and I refuse to abuse it or taint it by using it for financial gain.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Uh, you can pay me for the shoe shine.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "I could flush you. Send you bodysurfing down the tubes. A little sewer snack for some alligator.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Just my luck you're a baby.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Tails! Surf's up!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "Nah, I was only kiddin'. It's heads.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Jim Joins The Network"}, {"t": "You'll be driving an old woman and a sick husky to the vet. Hudson and Jane Street.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Mush, mush! Over and out.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, tough break.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "What? What? Shh! Louis! I said, 'Shh,' not shut up.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "I got a mild sedative from my doctor and, uh, and one from my mother. And, oh, yeah, the super gave me one.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Sure you don't want something to wash down the goofballs?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "I'm going for numb. Here, numb up, numb up, numb up.", "c": ["Emily", "Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "And now a word from our sponsor...", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "I'm missing the swimsuits.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "There are moments when I'm proud of the lug.", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Not that it'll ever matter again.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "After being dumped, seeing the catch you got is like rubbing salt in the wounds.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Miss Barbados is gonna play the French horn.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Always glad to do a favor for a friend. You piece of dirt.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Alex, this bit of emotional wreckage is Emily", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "He reminds me of Adam, the same Semitic coloring.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Hey, lady, come on, what'd I do to you?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "It's okay, Reiger, she's scrambled eggs.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "You know, you got an ashtray back there.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Hostile! Hostile, just like Adam.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Not one big enough for you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Let it all out. Have yourself a good cry, but do it outside. You're on the meter in here.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "What are we, Knights of the Round Table? Walk her!", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "This is the worst Miss Universe night I ever spent.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "We all make asses of ourselves.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "I think perhaps Mark Twain put it best when he said, 'A friend is somebody who, who laughs at our jokes when they're not so good and who sympathizes with our troubles when they're not so bad.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Yeah, but who slipped it into the conversation?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "I don't want to be alone. Get the hell out of here.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "An hour. It took me that long to realize that you could do something that low to Zena.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "There she was, dejected, desperate and stoned. Everything I could hope for in a woman.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "I stand humble in the promised land with a babe on each arm.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Follow those dreams. Chase those rainbows. Climb every mountain and ye shall be rewarded.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Oh, Louie... Ye really are slime.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Suck rope, bean brain.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "We took a hammock ride.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Me? You're getting mad at me, the victim?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "She's a temptress. I didn't know what hit me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Zena, do you want those to be the last words we ever say to each other? No. You're garbage!", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Were you taller? Were you a lot better dressed? Did you have more hair?", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "In the light of day, you're gross and disgusting. So what?", "c": ["Emily", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Uh, some of the finest things in life are repulsive at first. Uh, look, look at caviar.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "I lost Zena, and Emily sobered up.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "A woman with a heart as big as a pig.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "I talked baby talk to her. I said... I even said, 'I wuv you.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "I knew if I cried some crocodile tears, I could get your mind working for me, Reiger.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "The tears were real.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Louies Fling"}, {"t": "Tony's panicked reaction to jury duty - 'Oh, no! No! Ah, why me?'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Alex's immediate refusal to talk to his father without explanation", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Alex offering to trade talking to his father for Tony's jury duty", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Jim's dismissive 'Well, you know, some people yakkety-yakkety-yakkety-yak'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Louie's jury peer joke: 'Who are they tryin', a pinhead?'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Louie's elaborate jury scenario ending with 'there's Banta playin' with his lips'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'Since when?' '1974.' Alex hasn't seen his father who's lived nearby for years", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'My God, who is this man?' Elaine's shock at Joe's behavior", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'What am I gonna do with a sweet, little old man?' Alex dreading reconciliation even if Joe has changed", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Alex's description of their awkward greeting ritual - not knowing whether to shake hands or hug", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'You push a girl like that away?' Joe's immediate interest in Elaine", "c": ["Joe", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Jim's overly emotional hug declaration: 'That's for all the sons in the world who never hugged their fathers'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'I didn't say \"perfect,\" I said \"good.\"' Joe's response to Alex's criticism", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Joe's description of his ideal woman perfectly describing Karen who's sitting right there", "c": ["Joe", "Karen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'I memorized her license plate' - Joe's preparation for approaching Karen", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Alex's honest admission: 'I hate jazz anyway. I was just foolishly trying to show you that I have a mind of my own'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'Smooth, Reiger, smooth' - Louie's sarcastic commentary", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Joe's pickup line to Karen: 'I find it hard to resist being cute. I even went to Cutie-Pies Anonymous'", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Karen's response: 'I must say, I do feel like dunking you in a cup of coffee'", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Joe's logic about dating both father and son: the father-son relationship caveat", "c": ["Joe", "Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'Which one of you is that?' when Joe mentions the 'harmless old man'", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'Reiger's on thin ice, and I'm a blow torch' - Louie's metaphor", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Tony's residence length answer: 'About 30 feet' instead of time duration", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'Uh, maybe you measured wrong' - response to Tony's confusion", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Louie's wine metaphor buildup: 'It's like a fine wine. First, we should uncork it...'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'to share a woman... with his own father' - Louie's revelation", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'Yeah, me and my mother' - Alex's bitter response about mistaking Joe for his father", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'That munchkin I was having lunch here with the other day is my father!'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'My mother thought I had asthma' - Alex explaining his breathless reaction to his father's beautiful women", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'He imitates soup' followed by 'Pea soup'", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'he loves women' vs 'But I love women' - 'No, no, no... I mean, he loves women'", "c": ["Karen", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'makes me almost wish he wasn't slime. Now wait a minute, that's my father you're talking about. Please continue.'", "c": ["Karen", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'No, I was thinking more of my face and his face' - Alex wanting to confront Joe directly", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'I always wanted a fish tank; they're so pretty. But the fish are too much bother'", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'She always used a little too much salt' vs Alex's defense of the salt level", "c": ["Joe", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Joe's manipulation: 'You have to see me. You have to listen to me, 'cause I'm old. I'm going to die.'", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "Joe demonstrates the pea soup imitation: 'Thick pea soup coming to a furious boil'", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'You can't do that without getting a pinch on the cheek'", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "'I'm not gonna kiss you on top of the head. Your loss.'", "c": ["Alex", "Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Son"}, {"t": "If Latka takes a vacation, it's a dull vacation, but if Vic takes it... Deal 'em.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "A hot tub? Well, it will be when I get into it.", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Oh, Elaine, you're so naive. Give me a hug.", "c": ["Vic", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Namely, moi.", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Then it's always good to have a loser along. That way, when you bring him along, everyone thinks you're sensitive.", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Of course, you need some Austrian guy named Nicky. Don't ask me why, but somehow it works.", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Charisma does not have jelly in the middle.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Life Begins At 70", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "All right, the whole club consists of three women, two men, and somebody so shriveled up, it's anybody's guess.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Well, it may look like that to you, Reiger, because you're a little closer to the bucket.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "This one time, they had a guy come in who found a rock, and he talked about it for an hour and a half.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm sweaty, I'm tired, I smell like a goat.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "They're staring out into space like this. I thought they were dead.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "It turns out, they're smitten.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Hey, schizo?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Marriage? Check, please.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "The guy she wants to marry... is Japanese!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "She cried a little bit, put a minor curse on me...", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Hey, you're forgetting your father and a cheap bottle of wine?", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Oh, Louie's girl.", "c": ["Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Oh, you're the Jewish fella that Louie's always helping out.", "c": ["Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "I can't tell you how much we love your son, Mrs. De Palma. I really can't tell you.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "I can't believe what Louie says about you.", "c": ["Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "What city are we in?", "c": ["Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Is... is this a trick question?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Is... is this a trick question?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Well, I'll be darned.", "c": ["Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Well, my Italian's a little rusty, Alex, but she said... I think she said, uh, her son's acting like a jackass. Or... Or else he's acting like an asparagus?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "No, it's probably jackass.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Well, you are the expert.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Your son is one of the finest human beings I've ever known in my life.", "c": ["Latka/Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "And you let him drive a cab?", "c": ["Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "And you let him drive a cab?", "c": ["Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Companionship. Companionship. Is that all you old people ever think about?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "I had to go for it.", "c": ["Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "I had to go for it.", "c": ["Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "No, this always happens to me in bars.", "c": ["Mr. Fujimoto"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Up, up. Up. Bow, bow.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Smoke your brains out, crazy lady.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "He's pillowed half the Orient.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "You said if I don't like him, you won't marry him. I lied.", "c": ["Mrs. De Palma"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Sayonara, Louie.", "c": ["Mr. Fujimoto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "The team is assembled and we're on our way to a holiday of hormones.", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "I don't have a mother anymore.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "He's walking his soap.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, Louie, for once in your life, don't be so... you.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Even if my wife, Fleurette, didn't want me to.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "You don't pull Fleurette out of the air. You pull Fleurette out of long, hot sweaty nights of total frustration.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "All right, I'm a romantic. So sue me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Everybody's sympathizing with her 'cause she's got the gray hair, the little, little face and that cute little walk.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "She cooked my food, cleaned my clothes, she clipped my toenails.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "That woman clipped your toenails, and you're not gonna go to the wedding?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Because no matter what happens at that wedding, no matter what disgusting and revolting thing that I might do, it's your fault.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Vegas. For the glitter.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "He brought the whole family.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "She looks like a scarecrow in a rice paddy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Louie, you'd better hang on to your seat.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "It's fun being the smart one.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "I give you my blessing.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "I give you my blessing.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Louies Mom Remarries"}, {"t": "Whoever you are, go away!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "I have a... an extremely vicious dog in here.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "That was fun. Thank you very much. Let's go.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Go to your place!", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Craig, go to your spot. I see.", "c": ["Craig", "Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "You've painted this whole apartment in bits and pieces. I recognize this chair... You painted this table.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "I'll put the water on, and you go down and get the coffee, okay?", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "It means you're afraid of heights. No, no, that's acrophobia.", "c": ["Alex", "Craig"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "That's fear of England. Yeah, I have sort of just a whisper of that myself... the name Alistair Cooke gives me the shivers.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "If you're afraid to leave your studio, what do you do when you go out? I just don't go out.", "c": ["Elaine", "Craig"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "That man is damn near psychotic. Uh, no offense. None taken.", "c": ["Alex", "Craig"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "I'm not genophobic. That means you have no fear of touching? No, it means I have no fear of sex. As long as it's right here, right now, pronto, see?", "c": ["Craig", "Elaine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Oh. I'm just kidding.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "You got a real ark, huh?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't Nurse Ratched. What are you doing here? Who's watching little cuckoo's nest?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "I used to be hard of hearing, but now that you touched me, I can hear again.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "She's doing it again, folks. I love my cage. I think of it as a window on the world.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Louie walking away on command as Elaine describes Alex following her", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "He walks to his mailbox now. Oh. Mm-hmm. On command?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Just my luck. Nothing to throw away.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Nardo, help me. I got a phobia about getting naked.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "This is an expensive vintage wine that I got from one of my first fares in 1957.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "This sure ain't it. I wouldn't break out a bottle of Yoo-hoo for this one.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "We've all trusted skirts. We've all paid.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "The man who gave me this bottle of wine was a man that women loved. His name was Errol Flynn.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Better than beautiful women. Cheap women.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "So, what could I do? Me and the two babes rolled him.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Then they put the knife to my throat and sold me the bottle of wine for $184.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "What chance does an anteater like you have?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Should we all rest or just him?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Take me to Yankee Stadium.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "I used to pay hard-earned money to get to feel the way you feel.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "You do that until your hand is like a raw cutlet.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Could I talk to the guy who's on drugs again?", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Next time I'll give jump rope.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "If they think they can do it better than me, then why aren't they up here doing it themselves?", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "But what if Lawrence Olivier and Marlon Brando and Vanessa Redgrave were sitting out there?", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "But what if Lawrence Olivier and Marlon Brando and Vanessa Redgrave were sitting out there?... what if it was an actors benefit and every great actor in the whole world was sitting out there, then what do you do?", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "I don't deserve to be in the theater.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Alex, I stink.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "I feel kind of stupid.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "Good night, Mr. Walters!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Fledgling"}, {"t": "I'm at the crossroads of my life and I'm a little scared... and you're standin' here with this goofy grin on your face.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Did I stop yet?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "You know, losin' every game is a new garage record.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "I never thought anything would make me feel sorry for Louie... and I was right.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "You all like Ignatowski? Shut up or he's a cocker spaniel.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "No brains, no pain.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "She's not guys.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "I want Houston and Oakland.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Hut, hut, hut, hut. Hut.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Commie judges.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "That's silly. Silly? Okay. Thanks a lot, Alex. You bet. Ow!", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Would you like me to go home and wash my hair?", "c": ["Tommy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "I don't think there's time for that, Tom.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Thanks for the 'Mr. Banta.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "And, uh, here's the phone you always have on your table when you eat here.", "c": ["Tommy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Banta Management... Oh, it was personal.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "I just hope he can fight better than he talks.", "c": ["Tommy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "When? When the pretzels start dancin'.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "When they all start dancing... the fox-trot.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Oh, quite all right, Tommy. Set me up with a pint, would you? Oh, that's a good fellow.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Could we change the station on the telly, please? Uh, Masterpiece Theater is beginning an adaptation of The Moon and Sixpence. Need I say more?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Oh, Alistair, I'm mad for your tailor.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Oh, Alistair, I'm mad for your tailor.", "c": ["Sir Geoffrey/Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "I consider this a breach of good taste.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Go back to merry old nutland.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Go back to merry old nutland.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "There's still such a thing as a strong letter to the Times, you know.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Construction.", "c": ["Terry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Well, it's, uh, something to think about.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "My grandmother could've kicked it better than that dumb Rumanian!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "My life is manure!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Would you feel better if I gave you the money you just lost? Of course I would. Well, too bad. I don't have it.", "c": ["Jim", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "You pulled my ear. I pulled your leg.", "c": ["Louie", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Oh, some crummy place, couldn't even afford menus. I mean, the guy came around and told you what you got to eat.", "c": ["Terry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "So what'd you tell 'em? I went for the veal.", "c": ["Tony", "Terry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Well, I don't want 'em here. I already got 'em tickets.", "c": ["Tony", "Terry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Just when I was gettin' used to saying, 'Give him air, give him air.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "like I had a albacore hangin' around my neck.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "I got $5,200 in cash, Reiger. I got $2,400 here, I got $2,400 here, I got a hundred dollars here and a hundred dollars here and $200 in Chase Manhattan.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "How long's Banta been training him? A couple of weeks. Please!", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "They're gone, God. Let's talk bucks! Bucks!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Don't say ootch! Get him.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "That was quite a knockout. I've never seen anybody go out like that and I'm an anesthesiologist.", "c": ["Dr. Harden"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "How about $5,000? That's plenty.", "c": ["Dr. Frazier", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Take it and die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die with festering boil. Die! Die! Die!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "What a guy.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "Where do you want to eat? How about Mario's? Perfect.", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Of Mice And Tony"}, {"t": "And let him get away?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "No, not a date. Just dinner tomorrow night.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't... Mr. Personalities.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Hey, the granola man is into physical culture.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "I've got one word for you that's gonna make your body say merci beaucoup. Jazzercise.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "In its purest form, it's just you and 25 ladies stretching, twisting and sweating.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "And then you need a friend who's not gonna be embarrassed to take you with him. Good luck.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "I'm only kidding, Jimbo. Hey, listen, every man needs a cause, and you're mine.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Oh, some punk spray-painted it on my van.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "It's probably your imagination... or a rat.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "\u266a A pretty girl \u266a \u266a Is like a melody... \u266a", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "You know, maybe I'm overdressed. I think I'll change back into what I had on before.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Because I'm hurt. I'm hurt that you would even think that I could do such an awful thing.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "So, how come only one eye is tearing?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "I'm innocent as a lamb.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "You know, there aren't too many do's and don'ts when it comes to women, but in Vic's book, file this under 'W' for whoa!", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "I've had four heroes in my life. Saint Thomas Aquinas, Mahatma Gandhi, Alan Alda and you.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "I can't look you in the eye, Iggy, because Nardo just stuck a finger in this one. But I didn't do it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Buns, buns, buns, buns. Buns, buns.", "c": ["Jazzercise Instructor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "There's one word I never want to hear as long as I live... jazzercise.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Hey, who's the toots?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Hey, I saw her first, Reiger.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Might I suggest a spanking?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "You know, I'm still gonna have to, uh, testify against you. Give me that! You got 4-13, the widow maker.", "c": ["Tony", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Uh, Sweet 'N Low.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "I should be talking to the banana.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "You lost the battle, huh? Nope. You lost your job.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "So why do I feel sorry for that broken toilet of a man?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "You never liked me, and I never liked you. I'm going out there, and I'm going to claw, backstab, lie, cheat, walk all over people, do whatever I have to, to get to the top of this dung heap we call a life.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Oh, I miss him already.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "If you don't listen to me, I'll kill myself. I swear I will... I'll kill myself. Oh, no, you won't... you are not the kind of person who takes his own life. Unfortunately.", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "He didn't give his name. Oh, get out of my way.", "c": ["Louie", "Robert"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "I'm going to the unemployment line. I'm going there with the derelicts, the washouts, the scuzzos.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "It's a ploy... he's faking.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "I'm a warm, sensitive human being! You've got to believe me!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "He's got a good soul.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm the one he liked.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "It's wrong because we're not supposed to peek at girls without their clothes on.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "You mean... if I understood what was wrong with what I did, then you'd forgive me and give me my job back? But you won't understand. But what if I did?", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Thank God I watched that Donahue show about broads.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Twice a year, I... I have to go get new clothes, and, uh, I, uh... the only way that I can... the only way I can get anything to fit me is, uh... I have to go to, uh, a men's store and walk straight to the boys' department and ask if... they have anything in the husky sizes.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Twice a year, I have to go get new clothes, and, uh, the only way I can get anything to fit me is... I have to go to a men's store and walk straight to the boys' department and ask if they have anything in the husky sizes. Huskies... I hate them.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "You're lucky. At least you won't outgrow it in six months.", "c": ["Mother at store"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "I mooned her.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "wearing your new corduroys, making that noise.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "And then, all the parents tell their kids... not to stare.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Is that the way I made you feel when I peeked? Kind of.", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Is that the way I made you feel when I peeked? Kind of.", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Louie Goes Too Far"}, {"t": "Oh, is the coffee that bad this morning?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Which of the machines has that?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "And I'm not supposed to tell why no matter what.", "c": ["Character speaking to Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "I wish he'd put it up to a vote.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "You get tired of salami.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Judas!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "You know that special twinkle he's got in his eye? Yeah. Well, it was gone, as gone as your brain.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Oh, boo hoo.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Well, thanks, Confucius.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Welcome to Louie's Doom Room.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "not these foreigners they got now.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "What good is money in the bank, Nardo, when you're a radioactive pretzel?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "I need him to convince the black hordes I'm cool.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "I'll do what I can.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "When you're up to your pretty, dimpled cheeks in rubble", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "That's disgusting! But memorable.", "c": ["Louie", "Nardo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "If you and I were the last man and woman on Earth, we'd be the last man and woman on Earth.", "c": ["Nardo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Yes, Iggy, I was thinking of you... the last time I stepped on a snail in my bare feet.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Trust me, Iggy, you'll never know the difference.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "But it wouldn't work, because he'd vie with me for leadership of the group. Besides, he'd use up too much oxygen.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Someone with a lot of muscle, and a single-digit I.Q.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "I think he means you, Tony. Get out of here.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "I think it sounds like fun. That's my boy.", "c": ["Tony", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "It's got pictures in there.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah? Is that what you think? Yeah?! Yeah. Yeah, yeah! You do think that? Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm going to show you, Reiger.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "It's an atomic blast that starts an earthquake, setting off civil rioting.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Are we talking about a, a little adorable muppet?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "golden ringlets, just a hint of a lisp?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "She's buzzard bait.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "You enlist in the Army and you spend a year of your life in Vietnam.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Who played Lumpy in Leave It to Beaver?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Good-bye to the world as we... No, no, no... figure of speech.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "I just had a terrifying thought. If the world were to end tomorrow, that's what's left of the human race.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "These here have the nutritional equivalent of an entire egg breakfast.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "It's three to one, Louie.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Oh, I've been living in here for three days. Eating this great food, listening to the short wave, reading all those books, and sleeping in these crazy sleeping bags.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "I haven't got the faculty of Harvard in here as it is.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Hey, he could have my legumes.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "there's nothing out there; no air, no water, no food, just total devastation.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "I can't do it, Louie.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "A hug?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "See, Louie? It's no fun pretending everybody's dead.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Well, an 11-minute Armageddon. Sort of an 'Armageddonette.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "I was done in by a soft heart.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "When the end comes, I'll be nothing but a charcoal briquette.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Did you say something, Reiger? Ah, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "You sweet, little tender rascal, you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Wanna Be Around"}, {"t": "Latka guessing exactly right about the beach ball being 'Red, green, yellow and blue'", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Latka correctly guessing the price: 'About ten dollars'", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Tony asking about the saleslady's height and Latka guessing 'Five foot three' then Tony's frustrated 'Not even close, Mr. Know-It-All'", "c": ["Tony", "Latka"], "jt": ["running_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Latka and Tony both claiming to be Bobby's best friend", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Latka saying he'll return the beach ball 'to the six-feet tall saleslady'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Yeah, those people in, uh, California are pretty strange. Yeah. Yeah. Unlike here.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Jim accepting the welcome meant for Bobby: 'I didn't even know I was gone'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Jim saying 'I'm not one to nitpick' about his name being wrong", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Bobby's assessment of California: 'Take away the beaches, the climate, the women, the glamour... still beats this'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Louie's backhanded welcome: 'If I'd have known you were coming, I'd have baked a ham'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Louie's 'You never came here to work, Wheeler'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Louie's Gettysburg joke: 'If he was at Gettysburg, we'd be singing Dixie before ball games'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Louie: 'If you held a gun to his head, Wheeler couldn't act nervous'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Louie: 'The highest priced seats are near the exits'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Louie: 'They have to put sick bags behind the seats'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Louie: 'Couldn't I just take out my appendix with a warm spoon?'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Louie: 'And then I'll go down and sprinkle rock salt where hell froze over'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "What do you mean, 'pretty good'? It's fantastic. You know, if you hadn't said '150,000 bucks a week,' everybody'd be going crazy right now.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "The celebration escalation from cab driver party to TV star party", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Louie's drunken 'You ain't seen porfnig yet'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Latka's earmuffs riddle: 'It keep you warm and it rhyme with zearmuffs'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "The earmuffs revelation after Bobby guesses correctly", "c": ["Latka", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Well, since you can't, could I have your juicer?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Latka's reaction to buying the beach ball: 'I like to be laughed at by the clerks in the toy store'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "They said I wasn't sexy enough. What? I don't understand. They gotta be crazy. I mean, I ooze sex. I mean, look at my teeth and my hair, my height. I'm a sexy guy.", "c": ["Bobby", "Others"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "The waitress calling Bobby 'a sex god, se\u00f1or'", "c": ["Waitress", "Bobby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Bobby's plan: 'I'm going to wander the streets aimlessly and ride the subways and babble to myself'", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "An old woman clubbing pigeons. No, no, not down there, up there. Oh, the sunrise.", "c": ["Bobby", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Or the one after that.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Latka's gift confusion escalation: 'And then when I give you the beach ball, you're going to want the earmuffs?'", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "I am fed up. I don't care where you go, what you do, when you do it, when you get there. I don't care. You're making me crazy. Earmuffs, beach ball. Earmuffs, beach ball...", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "You probably are talented, because you're getting out of this place. It's something I gave up on a long time ago.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Louie's delayed reaction and then explosive laughter: 'That's the funniest thing I ever heard'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Alex's final line: 'I think I'm gonna miss him the least'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Bobby's callback: 'Or the one after that' when talking about making it", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Alex's final toast: 'Here's hoping we never see each other again'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Bobby Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "There's a person here. You mean you, Jim? Uh... Yes, I mean me. I have something to say and your ignoring me made me forget it!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "Guess I told him, didn't I? You sure did. I just hope he had it coming.", "c": ["Jim", "Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "That puts you on our 'A' list.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "I got my good side and I got my bad side. Yeah, his good side is he's never bombed the children's hospital.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "You gonna listen to me or you gonna stand there looking contemporary?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "There are no men and women in this garage. Only hacks who ferry frightened citizens around a diseased city.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "His mother dropped him on his head. About a week ago.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "I see you're planning on driving in the borough of Oz. Watch out for the Munchkins; they're light tippers.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "Let's see, uh, you got cab 404. That's got no springs and no heater. We call it Old Whip 'n' Chill.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "You're cute, Jim. Ah... What a kidder! What a kidder. Maybe you're right.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "You know, one show almost got to Broadway called Stompin' and Clompin' and Cuttin' Loose. It played one week and I lost 11 pounds.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "Yeah, every script they send you has you saying either 'jive turkey' or 'say what, sucker?' How'd you know that?", "c": ["Nina", "Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "I have this little alarm that goes off every time I'm with someone who's about to be enthusiastic.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "I mean, I-I-I'm really too tired to talk, let alone participate in a conversation with a young actress cab driver who's about to lick the world.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "Sorry's no good when there's no Eiffel Tower.", "c": ["passenger"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "We're 16 and we're in love, so could you please do us a favor? Yeah. What? Buy us liquor? I would, but I forgot my I.D.", "c": ["teenagers", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "Nee-na/Nine-a's Magical Mystery Tour.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "If I had a car, I would have asked Wendy.", "c": ["passenger"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "I've never said this before, miss, but wacka, wacka, wacka!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "We got matching shoes in there.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "With her skinny body and your nose, they'd spend their whole lives falling on their faces.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "She left these tied to the cab door handle with a note saying, 'It's about time you started cheering up. I'll be helpful.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "My heart belongs to Cabbie.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "There's not enough helium in this world.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "Oh, that's all right... Sometime they'll come back down and brighten up an otherwise dull day around here.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "Look, the last thing I need in my life is a born-again cheerleader who's gonna try to kick some life into the old boy.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "She's like every actress or Hindu that I ever met. She has karma, she's high on life, she's positive, hard-working, joyful... and I don't like her!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "I'm not a sentimental man, but each day when I look into this envelope, I get all misty.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "I'm not a sentimental man, but each day when I look into this envelope, I get all misty.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "If she doesn't understand, you can explain it over a weekend in Connecticut.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "What does it take to get you excited? I would get excited if you got the part. I think I've gotten the part. Oh, don't be ridiculous!", "c": ["Nina", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "I've never been so moved since Judy Garland re-opened at the Palace.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "Stand back, Alex. I'm gonna need a little freakin' space!", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "They said I was too right for it. Too... Too on the nose.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "It's just me they didn't like.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "The last broken heart I had was when the Jets didn't cover.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "I'm a no-magic man.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "You said no magic, and darned if it ain't so!", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "You said no magic, and darned if it ain't so!", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "You've got a lot more problems than that. / I'm fine. / No, I mean it. I'm fine. / I'm fine.", "c": ["Alex", "Nina"], "jt": ["escalation", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Nina Loves Alex"}, {"t": "Hey, beautiful co-workers. What a day it is to be young, gifted and Vic.", "c": ["Latka/Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "You know, I'm getting used to Latka with these multiple personalities, but when he's Vic, he's such a slimy lounge lizard.", "c": ["Character speaking about Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "I'm just getting sick and tired of that little foreign wimp, Latka Gravas.", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Would you please do me a favor? ... Why don't you take little Captain Crud aside sometime and teach him how to operate a rag, okay?", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "What are you going to be, a door-to-door simpleton?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "So what's the new job? I'm gonna be a chauffeur.", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Talk about the Renaissance man.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "That's great, Banta. You be nice to her, and maybe she'll let you walk her poodles. Be real nice to her, maybe she'll let you eat with them.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Oh, my! What a surprise. Grease and oil in an engine? Are my eyes deceiving me?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Listen, Vic is a fussbudget and a pain in the yaktabe.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Mrs. Longworth? Miss. Oh, you can call me Christina. And you're? Very grateful.", "c": ["Tony", "Christina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "If there is, I can't see it from here.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "And which do you prefer, uh, Christina or Peggy? Tony, Peggy is a nickname for Margaret. My nickname is Tina.", "c": ["Tony", "Christina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Except my brother... who calls me collect.", "c": ["Christina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Hey, you, suck eggs! I'm sorry. I mean, uh... I mean, uh... I mean, exercise some caution, will you, fellow?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "No, no, I can't see nothing from here. Yeah, but I met some real important people. Well, I don't want to brag, Alex. Well, but just to mention a few... The governor's chauffeur, the mayor's chauffeur.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "What will you do when you ask me to leave and I don't? What, then, jerk? I don't know. I guess I'd break your face.", "c": ["Doug", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "That settled it.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Oh, I wasn't worried. I mean, size isn't nearly as important as ability. You know, I was a professional boxer. I've been beat up by guys half his size.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "I win on a TKO. Manzo can't come out of his corner 'cause I'm making him nauseous. That was a joke.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "You know, in his prime, he was considered one of the best middleweights of all time. But by the time I fought him, he was 43. I mean, his reflexes were off, his timing was bad, his punches were weak. With a couple of breaks, I might have beat him. That one was serious.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "How about that? All these years of boxing finally paid off. I have amusing anecdotes.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "These could've been the greatest dates of my life if they had been dates. I'm never going to have better dates than these, and I never had these.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "'Aw, Tony'? You understood that? No. But he looks so sad.", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "She's the classiest lady I ever met. She's like a princess, she's like a goddess, she's like a Vegas showgirl.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "When was the last time you ended an evening by telling your date to wax the car?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "I once lived with a woman for three years before I realized I loved her. In fact, I lived with her for three years before I realized I lived with her.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "What a woman. I might have married her. Why didn't you? I said I might have. I don't remember.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "That's unique, Tony. But for God's sake, go easy on her.", "c": ["Character responding to boxing suggestion"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Oh, it was a beautiful spring day. I fell in love with him that afternoon. Yeah? How'd it turn out? Oh, not so good. I married him.", "c": ["Elaine", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Banta, this is touching a chord in my heart.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, the prison guard.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "When she did a grand jete, it could make you cry.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "I know a spot on a woman's body that turns her to jelly.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Well, if that works so great for you, Louie, why aren't you constantly surrounded by beautiful women? Because it's not an easy spot to get to.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Take off your right shoe, Nardo. Drop dead. See, I told you it was a tough spot to get to.", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "It doesn't matter, I'm always having a luau.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "\u266a Here I come to save the date. \u266a", "c": ["Character entering"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "You use this little goodie, and I promise it'll be full speed ahead from 'Can I buy you a drink?' to 'How do you like your eggs?'", "c": ["Character giving advice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "No, no, no, Tony, you don't need any lines. I don't have any lines. Or any women, either, eh, Mahatma?", "c": ["Alex", "Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Yikes! This don't even rhyme. That's right, I was hoping it did.", "c": ["Tony", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "How cold is your hand when not properly gloved... The sky is blue... And here comes the hardest part, Christina, which I like even better than Wheatina.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Christina, I can't go on with this charade anymore. I was wrong about everything, I'm sorry. I love you. I need you. Marry me. Oh, yes, Nick. Yes.", "c": ["Tony witnessing", "Nick", "Christina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Romance never works out. Only in fiction. I want to live in fiction. It wouldn't even have to be 'Wuthering Heights.' I'd settle for 'Nancy and Sluggo.'", "c": ["Character lamenting"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "The first time my heart was broken was in the ninth grade, and I got over it. A couple of years ago.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Well, we're going out tonight collecting aluminum cans. Crazy world.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Tonys Lady"}, {"t": "Who else is gonna tell her that he's become the Three Faces of Weird?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "I was talking about the gentleman who suffers from...", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Eh, twice on my face and once on my back.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "I don't even like American women. I have a good reason, too. What's that? They don't give me the time of day.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Why are you carrying a styptic pencil in your ear? Well, in light of what just happened, a better question is, 'Why aren't you?'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Elaine, you know what it feels like to be used, taken advantage of and then thrown away like an old shoe? Does she.", "c": ["Simka", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Simka. Latka. Simka.", "c": ["Simka", "Latka"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "I feel very comfortable in that tongue, you bet, Joe!", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Whew! This is just like in Body Heat.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Yes, he's kookiputz.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Eh, would you like something from the hoof or something close to the tusk?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Both! That's what I love about you, you eat like a swine.", "c": ["Simka", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Well, you know, it hasn't been all brethnees and warthog for Mama Gravas's little boy either.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "What died in here? Oh, my gosh! Where am I? The Ramada Inn of Rumania?", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Well, uh, that's your decision, but one thing. Leave and I'll die.", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "You were a daddy's girl. Am I right?", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "you have my name tattooed on your right thigh. Oh, I don't! Hey, okay, the evening's young.", "c": ["Vic", "Simka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Well, in my country, there is only one thing a girl can say to that, which is one of the reasons I left.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Well, for instance, you can say, that you were up all night with him, and you discussed, uh, whether the Today show is better with Bryant Gumbel. I cannot say that.", "c": ["Latka", "Simka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Did I whimper? Was I... clumsy? No, you were wonderful! Then it wasn't me.", "c": ["Latka", "Simka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "You have shamed me, degraded yourself, disgraced your family, cheapened your people, and blemished your planet.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "I hate you and I never want to see you again, and thanks for a wonderful night!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Oh... I can't tell you how many times I've had something like that happen. Talk to me. Okay. She says the other man was Vic. Talk to Alex.", "c": ["Tony", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Vic has more fun in his pockets than I have in my whole life.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Where are they? I don't know. I've asked all of them.", "c": ["Latka", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "You're gonna just sit there and mope? No, I'm going to whine and snivel.", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "I am responsible. Yes, I-I have to save her from that two-bit bossa nova.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "And if he won't listen to good manners, I'm going to have to get rough. I would hate to be in his shoes.", "c": ["Latka", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Men have gone to almost certain injury in the cabs.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Oh, come on now, why would I want something like that?", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "then you're hitting nail with your head, buddy boy!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "No tears, no bum feelings, no blame, no fault insurance.", "c": ["Vic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "And if you ever come near my woman again, I will call you a name!", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "and no, I'm not going to beating on the bush.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Simka Returns"}, {"t": "Do you like Little League? Yes. Do you like soccer? Yes. You like jail? No!", "c": ["Louie", "Terry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Terry, uh, what's your last name? I forget. No question he's a match for Banta.", "c": ["Unknown", "Terry", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "I called the cops. The police. Thumbscrews. Batons.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Just be the card. Be the hat. Don't question! Be.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Does that work for everything? I don't know. It always worked for me for parallel parking.", "c": ["Unknown", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "I might never have turned out to be the man I am today.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Yeah, you see that, kid? Tell us your name before your brain sprouts fungus.", "c": ["Louie", "Terry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "We'll take care of him, Louie. He belongs to our species.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "I hate it when they do that! Oh, Elaine.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Where did you say they lived? Nice try, Alex.", "c": ["Alex", "Terry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "You know, he reminds me more and more of myself. He's not going back, and neither am I.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "You prod me one more time, I'm gonna show you eight places you can beat a man and leave no marks.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "So what? So you're big, so you're black, so you got a badge, so you got a gun. I'm a dead man.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "The one I established a liking for so quickly?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Well, they said, 'Go sit in that chair, kid.' So I did. Then after a while, I got up and walked out. Was anybody hurt?", "c": ["Terry", "Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "You're the only Jim Ignatowski in the phone book. I know. Isn't it great?", "c": ["Terry", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "What do you see? Ice cream, popcorn and television. Exactly. What kind of place is this for a kid?", "c": ["Jim", "Terry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "I don't even have Atari.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "I can't ride my bike in any streets where there's traffic. Oh, no!", "c": ["Terry", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Terry! I'll never send you back to a hellhole like that!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "What have you got? Well, sir, we got... uh... chili! Terry... SpaghettiOs.", "c": ["Terry", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Good for you. After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Let's play catch. In the house? Yeah. Wow! My parents would never let me play catch in the house. Mine, neither.", "c": ["Jim", "Terry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Well... Parents know a few things.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Well, that's the nice thing about catch. It doesn't have to be long, just so it's good.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "If I had dropped out of grammar school, I'd never have been able to drop out of college.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.49, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "We've all got a little Obi-Wan Kenobi in us.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Of course there is. Don't let anybody fool you. People try to make that complicated. If a tree falls, there's a sound! The bigger the tree, the bigger the sound.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "It was The Kinks. She could have worn the blue thing.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Tomorrow... we do history. The '60s, a misunderstood decade.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "If you don't mind, will you get it out and re-grout the shower? I'll try. That's all anyone can ask.", "c": ["Jim", "Terry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Finally I gave in and you know, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I might just start doing it regularly.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "I got him a library card.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "It's our duty to sound them out about a reward.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Forcing him to take piano lessons, sending him off to camp every summer as if he was a-a camper.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "A little spotted puppy who's just sitting around now pining away wondering where his Terry is, tears welling up in his little brown eyes.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "This is emotional blackmail. The puppy's name is Snowball.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "It's just not gonna be easy explaining to a ten-year-old boy that he's not adopted.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "You had 44 cans of it.", "c": ["Terry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Why? Is it time to tidy up his room? He'll be here in plenty of time for summer camp. Don't worry.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Come on, Terry. We have your puppy in the car. See ya, Jim. Thanks!", "c": ["Parent", "Terry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "I just don't know how I'm gonna face him when he discovers that they've found him out.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Grownups make too big a fuss out of good-byes. I used to hate it. 'Say good-bye to your Uncle Harry.' 'Good-bye, Uncle Harry.' 'Good-bye, Jim.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "You don't have to call... you don't have to write. All I ask is that you remember me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "How can you make a simple thing so heart-wrenching? I feel awful. I can't leave now.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Yeah, what're you havin'? Uh, SpaghettiOs, popcorn and herring.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "No matter how many leave the nest, it never gets any easier.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Jim And The Kid"}, {"t": "Well, you're kind of cute. / I was afraid there for a moment you wouldn't notice.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Hey, Jim, you're speaking French. / Moi?", "c": ["Tony", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Thank you very much. I am a dope.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Where are lonely, desperate women usually seated in the better restaurants? / Table four.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Waiter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I know, I came here years ago when they only had one brick wall.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Uh, how long have you two been twins?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I feel silly, right, but I love feeling silly.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Egg split in the womb, huh?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "You've lost weight. / Yeah, 35 pounds. / Wow, how'd you do that? / The grief diet. Your husband divorces you and then you cry and vomit for three months.", "c": ["Alex", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Is it rude to talk to yourself with your mouth full?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Oh, well, then what is a big night? Triplets?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I mean, uh, if you were walking down the street and a safe was about to fall on you, I would yell, 'Look out'.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "when I'm this vulnerable, when I'm this manipulative", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I love divorced women. I love women who just broke up with guys. I live on the rebound. I love the rebound. I am the rebound.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "You want desperate women? Desperate, desperate, women? I know where to go where there are girls who just failed their bar exam.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "The greatest date I ever had was with a girl who flunked the police academy because she couldn't do 12 push-ups. At least, not on the exam.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Thanks for sharing that with me, Louie. Excuse me, I have to go boil my ears now.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Pearls.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I'll wait.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "No. Good.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "you're also really easy on the blinkers.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "But I didn't say when.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "this would be my first and last chance to ever spend even a little time with a really elegant woman.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "this may be a sewer, but that doesn't mean it can't have its daisies.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I was afraid there for a moment you wouldn't notice.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Maybe I shouldn't do this, you know? / I hope I'm not dreaming.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Bingo!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "The answer is right under your nose, but then again, what isn't?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I remember once you got mad because I used your comb.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Oh, it sickens me to say this, Alex, but, uh, he's right.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I'll admit he won't make anybody forget Paul Newman. Or Edwin Newman. Or Alfred E.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I welcome the opportunity to cower in your toilet.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "canap\u00e9s... and oxygen.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "and they are sending up champagne... canap\u00e9s... and oxygen.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "It's nice to see someone not caught up in the exercise fads.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I have my own form of exercise. Ee-ee, ee-ee, ee-ee.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "I have my own form of exercise. Ee-ee, ee-ee, ee-ee.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "What are you, some kind of weirdo?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "And I thought you two wouldn't hit it off.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "No real person acts like that.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "What is there, some kind of weird place in Manhattan where you rent out these guys?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "And I really know that you're worried about just even going on a date with me 'cause you're afraid that suddenly I'll drive you crazy, and then I'll be neurotic, and I'll be crazy, you know, be demanding and...", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "But I can't.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "Am I crazy? I get a kick out of that guy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Take My Ex Wife Please"}, {"t": "and eyes that show you that he's a little boy after all. You just happened to mention him in passing?", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "And if that doesn't work, I'll try something subtle like the Dance of the Seven Veils.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you're right. It's not special enough.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "That's that place with the great nude beaches, right? Yeah, but they got spiders this big.", "c": ["Jim", "Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Cowlick? I'll try anything.", "c": ["Tony", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Uh, is it a volleyball?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Close.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Iggy! You're a somewhat compulsive personality. Step forward.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Is it over? Yeah. That was the greatest thrill of my life!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Elaine's internal debate about the hair appointment", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Creative people.", "c": ["Receptionist"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "No. No, it's very reasonable.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Bring me a kimono. Oh, oh, I would, but I think there'll be security guards. Then bring me a security guard.", "c": ["Vincenzo", "Client"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "just as Michelangelo discovered the beauty of David in a slab of marble, I shall find in that head of hair your perfect hairstyle.", "c": ["Vincenzo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Well, stick with me, and you'll become a passenger.", "c": ["Vincenzo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "We'll stick with I Love Lucy.", "c": ["Vincenzo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Rebecca, we're gonna need some green out here. Just kidding. Just kidding!", "c": ["Vincenzo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Too fabulous for you?", "c": ["Vincenzo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Well, I guess I just can't do cabdrivers.", "c": ["Vincenzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "No. I had to go out a couple of times and beg for quarters.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Yum, yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum, yum.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Why? So they can serve hors d'oeuvres on my head?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "It might be worth a shot.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "for making me look like spoiled coleslaw", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "They always appreciate it when you notice the little things.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "I haven't seen a mess like that since somebody stuck a firecracker up my Uncle Emilio's parrot.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "What insults? I loved that bird.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "I look forward to seeing you every day, like some palookas look forward to a sunrise.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "If a man assaulted her body, he'd go to jail. If a man desecrated a work of art... In the clink.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Reiger, you've seen his fights. There's not a court in the land that would buy that one.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Even you can take a hairdresser. Was he big?", "c": ["Louie", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "When I was leaving there crying, he said... 'Well, I guess I can't do cabdrivers.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "every time you hear the laughter of kids... every time a policeman's horse shies up", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "You come here often? I'm just here waiting for a cancellation.", "c": ["Alex", "Customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! The fleet's in.", "c": ["Salon customer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Beautiful! Like a parrot.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "she brought the Jewish Defense League to get her money back", "c": ["Vincenzo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Is this the big date you were getting ready for?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Stay! Stay! Stay!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Joan of Arc did less whining at the stake.", "c": ["Vincenzo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "She may be better than you, but I ain't.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Throbbing noises, flashing lights, monsters chasing you... I get enough of that in real life.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "The Unkindest Cut"}, {"t": "Jim, we've been your friends for three years. / Oh, then it's high time we shook hands.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Oh, and they gave you a ring for that? How cute.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "I was wondering why I never heard of you.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "How come you guys always slap each other on the butt?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "They were trying to save his life.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "You mean, you'd work out with a washed-up has-been? / No, but I'd work out with you if you'd stop talking like that.", "c": ["Tony", "Lucius"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't wait to see this.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "But don't ever touch me.", "c": ["Lucius"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Where were you when I was still fighting? / Why? Weren't you in good shape then? / Oh, yeah. I was rock solid. You should have heard the thud when I hit the canvas.", "c": ["Tony", "Lucius"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "I don't know what you're getting at here, but I swear, I'm not the least bit attracted to you.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Oh. Phew!", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "I'm not laughing.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "I'm still not laughing.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Do it for the duck.", "c": ["Lucius"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "I'm talking to a fish.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I-I mean mammal.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Boy, I knew you guys were smart.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "They can dial!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Know him? I once broke his ribs.", "c": ["Lucius"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Ah, the ties that bind.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Hey, I ain't spoiling this party. No matter what they tell me, I'm telling you that I got my license back.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "I really did get my license back! / Yeah, we know, Tony. / I mean it! / Yeah. / I know what I said, but I mean... / It's okay, Tony. / I really got my license back. / Yeah, sure, Tony.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Hey, if I'm lying, you could punch me right in the face. / He got his license back.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Say hello to Flipper.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Why would you want to be Miss America? / To help mankind throughout the world and to uphold the ideals of the Miss America pageant! / You yutz!", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "One minute I wanted to work for world peace. The next minute I wanted to stamp out poverty. The next minute I wanted to eat a chocolate chip cookie. This big.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Getting caught up in Family Feud is not a great reason.", "c": ["Duke"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "I could help you do that.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Not a cheerleader? That's putting it lightly.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Well, I don't count the Capasso fight. That was a bad decision. / He knocked you out. / Oh, I mean the decision to fight him.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "No, I mean how, you old bat.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Well, we found him laying behind his favorite bench with a squirrel running back and forth across his face.", "c": ["Aunt Lucia"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Well, uh, if he liked the park so much, why don't you just leave him where he is?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Don't say no to me, Louie. I'm the only one in the family who hasn't put a curse on you.", "c": ["Aunt Lucia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Thanks for the money, Louie!", "c": ["Aunt Lucia"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Hey, Banta, you make up your mind yet? What's it gonna be, blindfold or cigarette?", "c": ["Opponent's corner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Alex. I think that punch took a lot out of him. / Yeah.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "The towel won't go. / Lucius! / Not you, him!", "c": ["Alex", "Tony", "Lucius"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "What crowd? They hate me. They're here for him. I've never been cheered for in my life.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "For the duck! For the duck! For the duck!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "For the duck, Tony. For the duck!", "c": ["Lucius"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Tonys Comeback"}, {"t": "B... L... O... R... F. Blorf.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "That isn't a word. Is it? No! I'm sorry, Jim, but that's not a word... blorf. Yes? Did someone call me? No. Oh, I thought I heard someone say Blorf. Blorf was my nickname in the old country.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown player"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "'How many points?' - Jim asks about his made-up word", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Kids can be cruel.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "I-I thought it was a religious service.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "And Alex... is not a beautiful girl.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Oh, boy, that was a piece of cake!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "I-I... I never tire of hearing that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "A dozen lamb chops... Or navel oranges. I forget which.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Boy, I thought that was an ugly gown.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "The concert is tomorrow. Oh. No problem. I brought a book.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "If you want to race the clock.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Well, she could lose a pound or two.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "If I were ten years younger, I'd steal him away from you.", "c": ["Mrs. Weber"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "How does squab sound? Something like this. [Jim makes squab sound]", "c": ["Mrs. Weber", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "I'm rapid reading. It's a new power reading method I'm learning. Pretty impressive, isn't it? I'll say. Wow. What are you reading? I have no idea. You don't know what you're reading? Not a word.", "c": ["Alex", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Anything need rubbing?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Alex, you weren't there last night when the conductor walked down to the podium and Jim yelled, 'Down in front!'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Alex, this is a man who, during the slow passages, rolled up his program and blew salted nuts into the tuba.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Yeah, two million years of evolution.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Either way, it's heartbreak hotel for Iggy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Do what you have to do, but do it gentle... and quick.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "The clerk told me that it would pay for itself in six months if I became the Ambassador to the Court of St. James.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "This would be a lot easier without the humming. / It sure would. Where's that coming from? / From you.", "c": ["Elaine", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "It would kill me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "For a movie? / Yeah. / Oh, yeah. Oh.", "c": ["Jim", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "For a movie? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "simply laugh knowingly and walk away.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Baby, why don't you and I get together?", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Beats me. It's getting so I can listen to anything.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "You're looking at him.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "'I wish I were dead.' - Elaine's reaction to being introduced as Jim's sponsor", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "My impression of a water cooler.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "He's a veteran! Oh.", "c": ["Party guest"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "He's a veteran!", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Oh, the hell with it!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Oh, the hell with it! [stops playing abruptly]", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "I must've had music lessons!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Did I have a good time tonight?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Elegant Iggy"}, {"t": "Latka greets multiple personalities by name: Hello, Arlene. Hello, Jose. Hello, Dwayne. Hello, Billy. Hello, Ruby.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "A man is nothing without friends.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "It's probably a witch doctor. This guy goes to a therapist like... Look what you gave me... Three twos.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm Dr. Joyce Brothers.", "c": ["Dr. Joyce Brothers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "You helped me get through puberty.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Are you visiting the garage, or am I on The Merv Griffin show?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "'Cause I have a story that Merv would've loved.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "the only thing that separates us from the animals are mindless superstition and pointless rituals.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Usually it's an old hag or a leper or the village idiot. But you'll do in a pinch.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "That's it? You're just going to grepse at me?", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "I'm just glad you're not a leper.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "I am going to die a bachelor.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "You... You have grabbed the nose of the Gewirtzal", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Men are nothing but lazy lumps of drunken flesh.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "They crowd you in bed, get you all worked up, and then before you can say, 'Is that all there is?' that's all there is.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "your once firm breasts will fall to the floor.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Almost more than ever.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "You cannot walk on my son's furniture.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Mothers-in-law are forbidden by tradition to bend.", "c": ["Mrs. Gravas"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Be it ever so humble, there's no place like hell.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "A sense of humor can cushion you from the harsh realities of life. It can also make you seem like a real bummer.", "c": ["Dr. Joyce Brothers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Don't take me seriously. I'm flirting with you.", "c": ["Dr. Joyce Brothers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "they are lamenting the bride's future as slave to her husband and the groom's burden of family responsibility which will eventually crush him.", "c": ["Mascha"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Oh, I live in London where I work as a weatherman for the BBC.", "c": ["Mascha"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "What about 'What is the most unusual thing about our ceremony?' Well, that's a good one.", "c": ["Mascha"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "To truly understand the feelings and emotions of their mate, the bride and groom must marry in each other's clothes.", "c": ["Mascha"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "You don't know how long I have waited to see you in your father's wedding dress.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Never have I felt a man's warm, moist lips pressing against my waiting mouth.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "the air humid... Simka! Simka!", "c": ["Simka", "Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "She said $5,100.", "c": ["Mascha"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "The kid. Yourself!", "c": ["Latka", "Simka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "That was the final test. One of them had to stand up and demand to be married.", "c": ["Mascha"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Wedding Of Latka And Simka"}, {"t": "Well, did you ever have one of those mornings? You know, the kind when a big steel ball comes crashing through your apartment?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Well, you put up with a few inconveniences when you live in a condemned building.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Jim immediately tries to sleep standing up in the garage", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Good night, Alex. [Beat] Forget it, Iggy. You can't stay here.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Well, sometimes I leave the cap off the toothpaste. I forget to wipe my feet, and I usually scream for several hours in my sleep.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "It's you, boss.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "If we didn't live in a society that got hung up on the fear of members of the same sex sharing mutual affection for each other, I'd kiss you full on the mouth.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Why June 15? Okay, well, how about tonight?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "I am married, Louie. Well, hey, congratulations! When did this happen? About 11 years ago.", "c": ["Jeff", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "The guy's screaming and sobbing so loud, I can't tell.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Then it's noticeable!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Well, it's the old story. I was smoking in bed. And you fell asleep? No. I didn't notice the flames consuming the apartment.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Do you think Louie's gonna be upset? The question is, is whether he'll kill you or not.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Jim's manic renovation plans with paint, wallpaper, and strategically placed flowers", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Jim's complete emotional breakdown and Alex trying to calm him", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Oh, Iggy, I'm home! What are you cooking?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Just keep in mind that material possessions are simply excess baggage on the journey of life.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "I saved your most prized possession. See, boss? Your beloved violin.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Good thing I didn't save the piano.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "My Time Life books on the great lizards.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "My Time Life books on the great lizards.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "These two pool balls are okay.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "I was a success here not because of the job, but because of that man over there. He yelled at me. He abused me, but he made me work!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Try Amityville.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "dictated but not read, James Ignatowski", "c": ["Alex reading Jim's letter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "A blank check? You can't give a blank check to Louie!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "I'm salivating. Ha, I'm actually salivating.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Does it mean you love me again? I didn't love you before.", "c": ["Jim", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "That's why you're a cabdriver, Reiger. If I fill this check out for a million bucks, his dad would never cover it. But there is a figure, an exact figure...", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "If I say 45, he'll say 46... So, we rule out the 40s.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "You know, in its own way, this is kind of spellbinding.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "27,000! 27! It's what I said the first time! 27. Tell him 27. 27,000. 29,000. 540.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "He said he was afraid it was gonna be something like $200,000.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Damn it! That kiss is gonna happen sometimes, and you know it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Cooking For Two"}, {"t": "Not only has your card risen to the top of the deck, but it has changed into the ace of diamonds.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Always leave them wanting more.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Well, that's one strike against it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Flatten the bum. / What? / Flatten him. / Oh, that makes more sense.", "c": ["Tony", "Jack"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Why would go out and flatter someone you were gonna fight? / Psychological ploy? / Oh, I guess if he's wearing a particularly nice pair of shorts, it couldn't hurt to mention it.", "c": ["Jack", "Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Gee, no wonder Jack didn't want you to talk to me. You're so discouraging.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Are they right very often? / Oh, wait, don't tell me, man. This could shake my confidence.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, you're the kind of guy that gives Italians a bad name. / I'm not Italian. / Well, do they know you're doing this?", "c": ["Tony", "Frank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Better manager? What do I need a better manager for? I got you, Jack. When it comes to training fighters, you wrote the book, bud.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "How about, how about running for stamina? / I hate to burst your bubble, kid, but, uh, that's older than jumping rope.", "c": ["Tony", "Jack"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "How about improving the speed of my punches by shaving my forearms? / You mean, my wind resistance theory?", "c": ["Tony", "Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be with you all the way, in spirit. / What do you mean 'in spirit'? I mean, ain't you gonna be in my corner?", "c": ["Jack", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Use a pay phone. I'll call you.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I'm glad you're gone. I don't need your help anyway. I don't need nobody's help. I'll win this fight alone with nobody's help.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Hey, I feel sorry for you, man. You're fighting an angry man with a cause.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "You're going down hard tonight, man. / Tony Banta don't take no dives for nobody. / I know, man. That's why they got me to take the dive.", "c": ["Tony", "Wilkes"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "You're a disgrace! / I know, man, but tag me a good one so I can go down, okay?", "c": ["Tony", "Wilkes"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "No, man, I don't want no part of this. / Come on, man, I need the dough!", "c": ["Tony", "Wilkes"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "How do you live with yourself?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Think you should wait. Think you should hang in there, stay cool, and sooner or later, even though he says he's not going to, Alex is gonna tell you what to do.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Nardo, you're wasting your time listening to Profiles in Sewage here.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "I have been looking for something to fill the void ever since my last canker sore.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Hey, what were you doing, Louie? / I was a cabdriver.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "A little slice of heaven. A piece of my wife's peach pie.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Top o' the morning to you, Louie. / Cram it up your bagpipe.", "c": ["Philippe", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Your wife's peach slop gives me the trots.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "A pair or better to open, Lydia.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Oh, you don't know how relieved I am.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Now, why would a person want to blast their voice over a loudspeaker when they could talk to them very...", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "is gonna be squandering his precious talent sitting in a cage doing a job a chimpanzee could do.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "How's that? / Yeah, who's gonna bring the Bromo?", "c": ["Tom", "Louie"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Did he say he'd wipe your nose for you, too? Beat it! This job stinks enough without being a baby-sitter.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Five bucks for a cab with a heater?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Thanks for spoiling the ending, Reiger!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "He became a crosswalk guard.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "These brownies are great. I'm really stoned.", "c": ["Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Gordon... Gordon, you're not crying. / W-Well, what am I doing? / You're smiling and happy.", "c": ["Jim", "Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Yeah, if the next guy is a Quaker.", "c": ["Heather"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Gordon, that was almost a complete sentence.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "I forgot my thought!", "c": ["Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "You've been feeding us walnuts?!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "Gordon, this is our room. / I thought the ceiling looked familiar.", "c": ["Jim", "Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "I get high on life. I very high on life. As a matter of fact, I'm high right now!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "first you nag me into premarital sex. / Okay, I'll give you that.", "c": ["Jim", "Heather"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "I'm fine. Now, let's go study.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "The Road Not Taken 1"}, {"t": "What's that? / My name. She yelled, 'Hey, Jim!' Jim, Jim, Jim.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "I have peace of mind. / Yeah, a very small piece. Maybe one sixteenth.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "We gain from experience, but we lose the wisdom that comes from childlike simplicity. Right, Latka?", "c": ["Jim", "Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Why-why are you asking me? There are three other people here. / I thought I'd ask the wisest. / Oh... oh.", "c": ["Latka", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "All right, wise guy. That does it. You say good-bye to your...", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Yes, I do, as a matter of fact, and it will tear your heart out.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Dong ding? / Ding dong. / Oh! Ding dong. / Ding dong, ding dong.", "c": ["Unknown", "Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Extended silence as Latka continues his wordless story", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Oh, it's okay, sponge brain.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Give me a buck.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Jennifer, don't you have a mind of your own? / No, she doesn't. / No, I don't.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown", "Jennifer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Guess whose birthday is coming up?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "you know how snarky those people get", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "My shorts are more ambitious than I am.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Excuse me, was that because I accepted a drink? / Yeah, as a matter of fact, it was.", "c": ["Alex", "Mr. Ambrose"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "I know because I was there. / Mr. Ambrose, I begged to go. I had a medical problem. I was eight years old.", "c": ["Mr. Ambrose", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "My next words were gonna be 'knock, knock'. / Not another quip, I swear it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "I was wrong, I'm very sorry, and it will never happen again. / You miserable, stupid, rotten jack-ass!", "c": ["Alex", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "but you gained one thing. / Me and death cab 412.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Tell him you wet your bed. / What?! / I'm trying to decide whether or not to take a desk job. / Tell him you wet your desk.", "c": ["Jim", "Elaine", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Stay here where the big news is that Mario's is trying out a new tomato paste.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "Start what? Shock treatments?", "c": ["Mr. Thompson"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "I just hit that man. / I just hit him! / I know. / He's turning red!", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "You didn't kill him.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "you got the best job you ever had, being Elaine Nardo.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "We didn't want to tell you, but you would've felt terrible without us.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "She did take the job! / Shh!", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "The Road Not Taken 2"}, {"t": "watch Richard Simmons so my body will be lean and supple for your return", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "And I shall puke my guts out... if you don't knock it off", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "A green card?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Shloogel.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Comes to us naturally as eating, sleeping and disemboweling sheep", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "See, this shows how good Simka is. That's exactly what your date said", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "It ain't this meatball", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "So they found you one", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Oh!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "I wanted a date", "c": ["Marcia Wallace"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "How come my date's blind? / Glaucoma", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "The thought did cross my mind.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Hello, grandchildren", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "No, I'm serious", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Archery?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "At the moment, uh, I'm sitting here, uh, picturing you, uh, naked", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Ah! [Carol's signature laugh]", "c": ["Marcia Wallace"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "And you never won an Emmy?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "And half the football team", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "No, it's because I'm incredibly rich", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Woody Allen has conditioned us to reevaluate our concept of male beauty", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Suddenly I'm afraid of dying", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "More wine? / Ah, no thanks. I'll just finish what I have in my glass. / Oh, okay.", "c": ["Louie", "Judy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Good ears, good ears", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "I would be honored if you would become my wife", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "I hit her, I hit her", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "I'm lucky you're a bum", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Before you know it, she'll be taking me home to meet the dog", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "\u266a Here comes Bob and Carol \u266a \u266a His wife Emily really likes him \u266a", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "I think we're all going to die", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "I think we're all going to die. I think love is an illusion.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Well, ordinarily I'd ask you for your phone number, but I'd feel kind of silly asking for that now, so I'll just... settle for the first four digits", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "5552... And the last three are 437", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Shloogel Show"}, {"t": "Hey, Perez, didn't I just tell you a couple of days ago that your father died? What? Oh, Perez, I meant to, uh... Oh...", "c": ["Louie", "Perez"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Look, take the rest of the day off... Look, Perez, the Lord works in mysterious ways.", "c": ["Louie", "Perez"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "He never was. He lives in Boston.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "A condo in Palm Beach?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Boy, how ironic. That's how much Dad weighed.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Garcia? You told Perez.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Ah, no!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "The Yanks lost another one? Would I be this upset just 'cause the Yanks lost another game? Double-header? To Seattle.", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "The domino theory. You see, Steinbrenner ruins the spirits of the Yanks, they lose. Their fans become depressed and irritable... Before you know it, OPEC is raising its prices, and there's another war breaking out in South America.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "I just heard the Russians launched another killer satellite. Steinbrenner.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "A cake donut?! Oh. Jeff! This man is an attorney. Give me that box. Eight years of school. Here. A maple log.", "c": ["Louie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Oh, this is my lucky day.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Who are you? I-I... I'm John Bickers, y-your father's attorney? Oh.", "c": ["Jim", "Lawyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "My father dropped me out of that when I dropped out of Harvard.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Three and a half million dollars.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "I beg your pardon. I couldn't help overhearing.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Bless them.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "That sounds pretty good.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "I haven't had many fights in my life, but what I've had, I've won. I got my driver's license. I got my throat checked without a tongue depressor.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Or fail to do so!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Uh, competent.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "This man is so far ahead of the rest of us that most people often mistake his wisdom for burnt-out brain cells.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Boss, if you feel like that about me, who cares about the money? Shut up, you idiot!", "c": ["Jim", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "You know, it's one of the problems in this court that they tend to rerun Mr. Deeds Goes to Town as often as they do.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "What about George Steinbrenner? Is a man competent that would let Reggie Jackson go to the Angels? That would go through four managers in one year?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Mr. Steinbrenner isn't the subject of this hearing... unfortunately.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "That's as comfortable as I can get.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Nothing. Except that I wanted to invite everybody here to my victory party at the Pierre Hotel. We're going to have plenty of those big shrimp.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "No, no. No, a decorator friend helped me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "I didn't know I graduated.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Wait! I'm crying. But am I crying because I lost you or because I didn't cry? Wait, I stopped. But I was crying. I didn't want to stop. I'm crying again. No, I stopped.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "You like Stevie Wonder?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Good night, Mr. Walters!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Jims Inheritance"}, {"t": "Finding a missing cabbie lies somewhere below 'There's a cat in heat disturbing the neighborhood.'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Tony breaking down the wrong apartment door first", "c": ["Tony", "Elaine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "You're lucky the elevator opens by itself.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Tony asking people to stand behind each other because his neck hurts", "c": ["Tony", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "You think maybe you could stand one behind the other? Oh, sure. Oh, thanks.", "c": ["Tony", "Elaine", "Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Alex must be... Dead. No, don't say it... no.", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Nardo, it looks like Reiger's gone to the harp farm.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Oh, great, Reiger, you're alive! Thank God!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Oh, good, Nardo, good. Oh, good. Oh, take care of me, Nardo. Oh, good. Oh... Yeah, yeah, Nardo. Yeah, yeah... Take care of me, Nardo. Yeah, Nardo...", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "I had a found 200 bucks, if you know what I'm talking about.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "What are you made of, what're you made of stone?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Reiger, I know a table not five minutes away from here.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Think of how proud you'd be to walk away a second time.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Seven come eleven. Baby needs a new pair of shoes. Come on. Hey, little Joe, ho-ho! Come on, fever, fever.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "It's a good thing you got rid of her. She's a bad influence.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think they take advantage of me.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Hey, this beats stealing computer secrets, don't it?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "The fat lady wants a hard eight. / Don't apologize for him, just roll a hard eight, big nose.", "c": ["Dealer", "Player"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Reiger, I'm not ashamed to say I love you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "That's what separates the men from the mutants, Louie.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "I'd rather go home and lay all this money on my bed and get naked and roll around in it until it sticks to my sweaty body.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "I gambled a little while; I, uh, had a few laughs, and I came out about even.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Oh, they're, they're watching a rerun of All in the Family here.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "I'll remember it because they're all ages that Frank Sinatra has been.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Accidents will happen.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "What, no exchange of pleasantries? Hello, Jim, how you doing? / Hello, Alex. Quite well, thank you. Care for a cracker?", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "I took the precaution of putting it here so I wouldn't eat your money.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Well, you were only off by one. / How much do you get for that? Nothing! I'm broke. / Well, then that was pretty dumb of you to bet all of your money like that.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Well, you were only off by one. How much do you get... How much do you get for that? Nothing! I'm broke.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Well, then that was pretty dumb of you to bet all of your money like that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Well, the important thing is we had fun. And we were polite.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Poor, lost souls? Wretched refuse on the dung heap of human greed?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "You wouldn't know it to look at me now, but I wasn't always this together.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "No walls, just sand as far as the eye could see.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "We were down to our last mushroom and both of us wanted it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "I looked up to the sky and I said, 'Look at that star.' And he looked. Who wouldn't?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "And it wasn't just because he jumped off the cliff trying to fly.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Welcome to rock bottom.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "Hey, Jim, look at that light.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "What's the rush? How often do you get to see a light like that?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Alex Goes Off The Wagon"}, {"t": "She's doomed.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Where are my mittens?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh! Oh!", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Never hurts to check, you know.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Winter.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, turn that frown upside down.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Oh, I hope it is the right size for you.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Oh!", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "I feel terrible that you're going to freeze to death to save me. I am?", "c": ["Bates", "Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no, you're not paranoid. Don't worry, we're going to freeze to death.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "We can have sex.", "c": ["Bates"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Sex, death... Sex, death, hmm...", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "This is too perfect. I actually get to die from rejection.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Dear Jim Ignatowski, we are pleased to welcome you as a member of our family of satisfied MasterCard holders.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Don't badmouth my family, Alex.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Please, Elaine, I have no more to give.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "I am not a hero. I am a stinkbug.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no, no, that's right. They were on her back.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "You did it with another woman!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Here, damn guest. Now, you have no problems. Eat hearty!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Here, damn guest. Now, you have no problems. Eat hearty!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "fleshy union", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "The damn guest is uncomfortable? Oh, are you uncomfortable? No, not really. Then sit down!", "c": ["Simka", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "I did it for you.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Take my word for it, it was you.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Next time, bring some of your damn friends.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "CRASH sound as Alex is hit by thrown object", "c": ["Simka", "Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "He has already heard a man who raised his voice to his mother.", "c": ["Translator"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "So Simka must sin with someone she works with. But Simka doesn't work. So Simka must sin with someone Latka works with.", "c": ["Translator"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "But Simka doesn't work.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Baby, you're the greatest.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 1"}, {"t": "Oh, I think I know what the problem is. What? Winter.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "It's a very simple choice, Latka. Either you have sex with me or you freeze to death. Sex. Death.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Hmm.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Hi, honey. I'm home. Latka, I am so happy, I... You did it with another woman!", "c": ["Latka", "Simka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "So, Simka must sin with someone Latka works with.", "c": ["Priest/Simka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "You mean to tell me, you're going to sleep with one of my friends?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Baby, you're the greatest.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "My little fool who has brought us to the brink of ruin.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "What kind of slumber is this that... Don't worry. I am awake.", "c": ["Simka", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "But if it's Louie, will you still love me when I've lost my mind?", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "I must debase myself with someone with arms of steel.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Well, then you can look at this as a chance to get to know him better.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "You mean the way we elect our president?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Watch out, Grandma.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "With Nardo and Banta and Dancer and Prancer... Oh, excuse me. I'm a little giddy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Dress... is informal.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Maybe no one will come, and then the priest will say that you don't have to go through with this.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Please be Louie. Please be Louie.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Oh, the one, the good-looking one with the chest of granite is early, honey.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "It's one of the few real occasions you get to be formal and ill at ease.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "They sure make entertaining seem easy.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "American girls... That is the stuff. 'Watch out, baby, here we come!'", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "What's Alex like?! Why are you shouting? I'm not shouting. Yes, you are; you said, 'What's Alex like?!'", "c": ["Simka", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "I'd say 'no' no matter what the truth was.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "I don't know, to the movies or to the gallows, maybe.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Talk is cheap. I want your body.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "I just want to have sex with you, and then I'll run along.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "See? Smooth, milky white... yours.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Do I mock you because you do not eat animals with cloven hooves unless they chew their cud? No!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Now, peel me like a grape so I can get out of here.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "You make me feel like a flying horse!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "I have bad news for you, my darling. I have been faithful to you. Oh, no!", "c": ["Simka", "Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Now this is where I get confused.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Why don't they just get married again?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "We must seek the Reverend Gorky right away!", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Piece of cake.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Piece of cake.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Scenskees From A Marriage 2"}, {"t": "Hey, Louie, Louie, Louie! What? Aren't you forgetting something? I've never seen you go up and visit the boss without bringing some token of your esteem.", "c": ["Unknown Driver", "Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Jeff, uh, give me the golf balls. You already gave him the golf balls, Lou.", "c": ["Louie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "You got the cigars, that cheap wine, a stuffed owl and a Waterpik.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "He's going to give God a Waterpik?", "c": ["Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "I'll explain it to him later.", "c": ["Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "How about you sit here?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "You mean you kept all that money? Yeah. Oh... now I know what Ratledge is so hot about.", "c": ["Jeff", "Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Boy, you got lucky!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "But you didn't.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Yeah... that's what makes letting you go so painful.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "You know Ratledge... I mean, one minute he's a maniac, the next minute, he's a pussycat.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "I think this stinks. I think you stink. I think the deal stinks. The whole thing stinks!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Jeff, I'm worried you're going into this with a bad attitude.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "I don't want your dirty money. Great! I wouldn't respect you if you took it.", "c": ["Jeff", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "You bit the hand that fed you. Now, if it was up to me, you would be going straight to jail.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "In a few days... we'll all be missing old Jeff. Not me. Me, either. Oh, no.", "c": ["Louie", "Ratledge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Why, if you had seen me three years ago, you would have said... Who is this bum? Exactly!", "c": ["Jeff", "Ratledge"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Jeff was special. He was like a son to me; a beautiful, black son.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "But I think what he is trying to say is that Jeff is not a thief. Am I right?", "c": ["Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "You... you speak English? Yeah. You've just been promoted. Get in the cage.", "c": ["Louie", "Replacement Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "I told them I was your attorney.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Look, prison is not such a bad place. I mean, they give you a bed. They give you food. They give you a toilet. That's pretty much life as we know it, Jeff.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "You'd have a much easier time in the joint than I would... A tasty morsel like me wouldn't last five minutes.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Jeff, what if I made a nice donation to the United Negro College Fund?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "It's just that, uh, I was kicking myself the other day because I never gave you anything for the lovely Mrs. Ratledge.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "It's a Norelco Ladybug shaver.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Because he likes me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "You're trying to take the rap for another man, huh? Well, it won't work. You think I'd go easier on you... Well, you're right, I would.", "c": ["Ratledge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "After all... I'm the thief. Enough already. Get out of here.", "c": ["Louie", "Ratledge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "If you liked my confession, you're gonna love this.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "And Jeff took the rap for it because... Because he likes him.", "c": ["Alex", "Ratledge"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Now you get out of here, you scamp. And you take your sidekick with you.", "c": ["Ratledge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Now you get out of here, you scamp. And you take your sidekick with you.", "c": ["Ratledge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Why yes, I do, sir, but I cheat on my score.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "I stole... I lied... I betrayed a friend... and now I got extra money in the bank and a 9:00 tee-off time on Saturday.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "I can't explain the feeling I get from being honest. I mean, it's like trying to explain, uh, April in Paris.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "I mean, it's like trying to explain, uh, April in Paris. You can't understand it unless you've been there.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Oh! I understand April in Paris. It's like having Havana cigars, a great drink of booze and being off scot-free.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Let's face it, Reiger, crime pays.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "That's the price you have to pay. Because you're a thief, you have to go through life believing that everybody else is a thief.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "That's why you have to hide your stash in some crummy little air duct. Boy, you lead a real crummy little life, you know that? You're a frightened man, Louie.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "You're a frightened man, Louie.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Hey, what about me, Louie? What about me, huh? Aren't you afraid I'm going to steal your stuff? I know where you're hiding it. You?! The honest man?! Nah!", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "You?! The honest man?! Nah!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Reiger!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Crime And Punishment"}, {"t": "Like in No Strings, where they eliminated the violins and put the brass and the woodwinds right on stage, whereas in Man of La Mancha, they put them backstage, separated between the two wings. And of course, there was that wonderful way that Andrei Serban orchestrated the instruments and the human voices placed within the set in his Greek Trilogy at the La MaMa theater.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Uh, are you an actor?", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Well, wait a minute. I like to think a man is never too old to be a flunky.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Something terrible has just happened. What?! I've forgotten why I'm doing this.", "c": ["Jim", "Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "I don't know. Now, what are you worried about, Latka? This is America. We got a thing here called sick pay. Oh! Oh, good, good. You pay me ten bucks, you can go home.", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "You're gonna take aspirin and go right to bed with a pumpkin.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "I used to live on a commune, and although those who slept with pumpkins did, in fact, seem to be healthier... so did those that slept with many other vegetables.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "How do you tell 'em apart? They're numbered.", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Yeah, stop me before I make another one, please.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Don't say another word. Please, don't take the fun out of this for me. Louie... Basically, I'm a sportsman.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "I give myself five minutes.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Where is Tony taking Alex?", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Louie's entire game setup with Iggy to extract Alex's location", "c": ["Louie", "Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Because this really feels right, so, uh, I guess that means you're gonna give me the job, right? Because, otherwise, I'd be nervous, huh?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "You don't want to give me the job because you're afraid you'll feel kind of awkward bossing around a guy who's older than you, right? No. No, we like that.", "c": ["Alex", "Producer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Oh, I get it. You're kidding. Yeah, sort of wry? Huh? A little playful? Broadway hip, huh? Tender, but tough?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Oh, right... yes... lunch.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "But what really rankles me is having great ideas and not even be able to say 'em out loud.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Well, the other reason I kept quiet was because I-I didn't have a really great idea.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Because I, uh, I've formed certain attachments that are very real to me here.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "I always knew that you would be the first guy to dig himself out of this slime.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "He must have the cruddiest job in the world!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "I'll tell ya because... by my telling you, I'm giving you the chance to turn your life around and become a decent man.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "I'm betting that when I tell you, you won't go. I'm betting you're about to be saved.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Go celebrate your newfound virtue! Another sinner saved! Hallelujah!", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Look, all they have to do is go to a side set where nobody can hear them but they can be seen. You know, like in Death of a Salesman.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Alex, I don't want to seem rude, but we'll save the living theater. You take care of the patty melts.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Because, this time, my skin cries out for your touch. Your mouth. Your lips. Your chest.", "c": ["Actress"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "What are you doing?! What is with this guy?", "c": ["Actress", "Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "You know, I bet I took my watch off and left it on the table and you put it in with the rest of the garbage.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "I will never tell anybody about what I saw.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "You knew you were nothing and you were great at it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, Reiger, it's like if you got a nose job. I mean, you'd be walking around with this little nose saying, 'Hi, I'm Alex Reiger.' And everybody would say, 'That's cute, but we want the real Reiger, the one with the honker down to here.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Alex, you're an errand boy. Yeah? Well, not all the time. That's true. Sometimes you're a trash compactor!", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Ooh! Egg salad!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Now, if you'll excuse me, Louie, I'm wanted out front.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Oh, excuse me, would you run lines with me, please?", "c": ["Actress"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Alex The Gofer"}, {"t": "Nothing like seeing E.T. for the 64th time to pick up your day.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Does this look like I'm sick of it?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Actually, there's this kid... Fat kid, wears glasses, 13 years old... Who's just seen it for the 74th time.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "I haven't seen it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Because I don't like science fiction movies, all right?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "And by the way, don't sit next to a little fat kid with glasses.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Lilewoowi De Palma?", "c": ["Unknown caller"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Now, who was that, Lilewoowi?", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "You mean that prison guard?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Excuse me, for those of you interested in accuracy, I'm going to do a simultaneous translation on this one.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "She had an unusual quality that I love in a woman. She managed to stomach him.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "She fell in love with me like that. She was tanked up on pills and booze. Somebody just dumped her.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "But our love, even like the most beautiful flower, wilted and fell. She sobered up.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Didn't you say that today? I say it every day. Who hasn't?", "c": ["Alex", "Others"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Well, it's so sad that she mixed drugs and alcohol and ended up spending the night with you when most people only die.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "I'm going to go down there and sluice down that little tart until there's eye makeup running out of her shoes.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Heavily sedated, possibly suicidal?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, uh, uh, let me have something, uh, tall, cold, and sticky... Something that would be impossible to wash out of your hair.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Hello, Emily, you little pill popper.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Hold that thought.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Hey, Mac, you got a bar rag back there or something?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "No chance, Sundance, uh-uh.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Because it's not you talking, it's your pharmacist.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Emily, your purse should have a childproof cap.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Gross, disgusting, delightful. Right.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "\u266a It had to be you \u266a", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "\u266a It had to be... \u266a \u266a Me. \u266a", "c": ["Emily", "Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "You've had the handsome guys. You've had, uh, the rich guys. You've had the smooth guys. You've had the, uh, sharp guys; the, uh, smart guys; the tough guys, the young guys. Well, I'm none of those.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Look who's on first base.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "What does this tell you?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "E.T. phone home. Home phone. Phone home, E.T. Elliott. Elliott. Elliott.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "She didn't like my overcoat.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Look, honey, I can't get the blueberries. I looked... I looked all over for the blueberries. I-I-I went every... I went 20 different places, but... No, no. Yeah, okay.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Well, on behalf of New York City, let me say that I'm glad she liked your pants.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "A romantic fool. No. A weenie.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "One of those weenies who would do anything that a broad asked him and then say, 'Yes, dear.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Look at her, Reiger. She's beautiful. She's beautiful!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "She's beautiful! She's beautiful!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "You said you love me! You said you love me.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Do-do-do... I don't think you could do it. Do-do I have to squeeze more oranges?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Right.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "You're a very complicated girl, Emily.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "Do we write letters?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "I write to you, and you never answer me.", "c": ["Emily"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "And when he does, he's going to be wearing a white coat and carrying a butterfly net.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "I knew where to get blueberries, but it was too far and I figured, 'The hell with it!'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Louies Revenge"}, {"t": "If this phone rings... Let someone else answer it. / It doesn't matter, as long as it's not you.", "c": ["Louie", "Iggy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "You think you can handle that? / With my eyes closed.", "c": ["Louie", "Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "You're the kid from Lassie!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "You were passed out on the floor.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I'm working on a very important assignment for the boss.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Whew! I did it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I've been on a boat for three long, lonely months. / That's okay, I understand. / Oh, great. Uh, once.", "c": ["Angie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "What would you have done? / I'd have screamed. / Uh-uh. It would've fallen in your mouth.", "c": ["Angie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I don't know. I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was gone.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I don't think that would make a movie. / You don't? / No, maybe something for television.", "c": ["Alex", "Angie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Gee, oh, I'm glad I didn't think of that.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Pea Brain Senior.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Back off, Banta. There's no tellin' what parasites you got crawling on you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Did you fall overboard, or are you coming to get the barnacles scraped off your butt?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "We'd trade him for that spider in a minute.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I just came in to have the barnacles scraped off my butt. / Oh, no, Dad, what happened?", "c": ["Angie", "Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "It's not funny. / You had to be here. / You'd have roared.", "c": ["Tony", "Angie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I don't know, but it's laminated.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "It's like being in prison with a chance of drowning.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I've got to mark this on my calendar... 'The Day Banta was Dumbfounded.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Ever since I was five... till I was 11.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I just learned how to use my Mr. Coffee.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "That's my father, Alex. You don't say no to your father.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Of course, on my first trip, I fed the fish from here to Fiji.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Would you kill me?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "It's also going to look a lot like the international date line you made me get up to see.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "What the hell are you looking at?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Some of those squid are 150 feet long. I've heard tell of them dragging a man down screaming into the sea.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "That's the way I'm starting to feel about women.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I also think about fresh produce. / Boy, what I wouldn't give for a nice, fresh, crispy head of lettuce right now.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "That is, if you fall in love with her first.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Six hours.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I might've even understood. / No kidding? / Hmm. / You're telling me.", "c": ["Tony", "Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "You're telling me.", "c": ["Angie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I don't even know what a sea chantey is. / It's a song about the sea. / 'New York, New York'? / Perfect.", "c": ["Fergie", "Tony", "Angie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "New York, New York? Perfect.", "c": ["Tony", "Fergie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Perfect.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "No, that comes later. What's the matter with you? / No, no, we did vagabond shoes.", "c": ["Tony", "Angie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "There's nothing floating in my drink.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "But I tell you, I never thought I could make 'hell of a sailor.'", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I ain't good enough to drink with you? / I suppose nobody here's good enough to drink with him.", "c": ["Drunk"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "I didn't graduate. / Oh, good.", "c": ["Tony", "Angie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "This is better than Brooklyn.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "You know how I know when I've had too much to drink? / When's that? / I always wind up in a tattoo parlor.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "So tonight, I want you to cut me off before I... uh-oh. We're in a tattoo parlor.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Go live in a cave?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "If we sober up, we won't do it.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Travels With My Dad"}, {"t": "Considering gestation period and average litter size...about eight months...uh...you've got 162.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "No, I got 165, Jim! 165! What was I thinking of?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "I feel about this big. Jim, you were off by three. Oh, go ahead, lady, rub it in.", "c": ["Jim", "Tony", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Anyway, uh, a chinchilla coat costs thousands of dollars, so I'm on easy street as soon as those little guys start to shed.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "I hate to be the one to break this to you, Banta, but they don't shed.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "and Rocky One, Rocky Two, Rocky Three, and Toots and Joey and Groovy...", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Tony, Tony! You named all of them? I had to have something to put on their bowls.", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Look what I got, everybody. A monk.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "When I was a reverend, I used to wear a robe myself, but it didn't look like that. What-What did it look like? This.", "c": ["Jim", "Tony", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "He can't talk. He has taken a vow of non-communication. See? Oh, oh... He can't even do this.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Are we going to get wild or crazy? You know, talk? Sure.", "c": ["Louie", "Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Oh, that's easy. Oops.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "How do I look? You look wonderful.", "c": ["Zifka", "Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Oh, but I cannot keep it when I go back to the monastery. That-That's the good part. Eh, we get it back when you leave.", "c": ["Zifka", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "So, what are you going to do first? Slouch. At the monastery, they are such sticklers for posture.", "c": ["Tony", "Zifka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "I-I want to thank you for bringing silence into my life.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Do you dance? Yes. I thought so. The man is a smoothie.", "c": ["Zifka", "Elaine", "Zifka", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "I would love to listen to somebody really talented play the gruck. Oh, well, I wonder where we could find someone who knows how to play the gruck.", "c": ["Zifka", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Well, your cousin Zifka! Oh, that's right! Well, maybe he needs just a little bit of encouragement to play the gruck!", "c": ["Tony", "Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Did you know that at the age of 12, he was the second gruckist in the national symphony?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "I knew it. He's been staring at your headlights all night.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Well, in that case, I dedicate this song to Elaine's headlights.", "c": ["Zifka"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Well, here I am in the same old rut: going out dancing with a monk.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "I'm busy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Were you singing 'I'm a Pepper, he's a Pepper'?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Oh, Alex. I-I'll be leaving New York tonight. I'm going back to the monastery, so... so I'll be... won't be seeing you again. So, I just wanted you to know I'll be praying for you to find a little bit more happiness.", "c": ["Zifka"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "He's like a Smurf.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "'I love Zifka'... That's like saying, 'I love Bomba.' 'I love Cheetah.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "So, he's been celibate for ten years. So? So... he may find it difficult to be with a woman. No problem.", "c": ["Alex", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "How could I be mad at you? You're just jealous that you have no love in your life.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Isn't life crazy, Elaine? You know, one minute, you're in New York kissing a beautiful girl, and then the next, back at the abbey rolling cheese balls.", "c": ["Zifka"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Can you at least stick around? Lots of couples don't talk to each other.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you smile.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Elaine And The Monk"}, {"t": "Why would you be inviting Louie? / You just tell him what you told us... and duck.", "c": ["Alex", "Zena"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "The boss's girlfriend. / Zena's getting married! / Oh, congratulations! That's great. See that? Why... that boss. The monkey never said a word.", "c": ["Jim", "others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Another man? Oh, perfidy! Thy name is woman!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I caught one back there. He didn't even finish the cheese.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "You're looking good. / Oh, thanks. I got a mirror that tells me that.", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "What's on my calendar? / A roach.", "c": ["Louie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Oh, oui, oui.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Operation Crawlback.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I got to go home and change my sheets.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I missed her, too.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Nope. Nothing's changed?", "c": ["Louie", "Zena"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "There have been others, and as good as they were, none of 'em earned the Golden Louie.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "The door is open, Zena. You've suffered enough. Come in out of the rain.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "You know, I always thought that I would forgive you, but not this quick.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Happy for you? Oh... Yeah, I'm happy for you. I'm happy. Yeah, I'm-I'm happy for you. We're happy for her, right? Yeah, yeah, that's good. We're happy for you. We're happy. We're happy. We're all happy. Whee! We're happy for you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Who's the next victim?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "His name is Tom Pelton. He's a child psychiatrist, and we met six months... / That's enough.", "c": ["Zena", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Would you at least have the decency to go to bed with me for one last time?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Well, then I'll repeat it. Would you at least have the decency...?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "She didn't even look back!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "You know, I'm not gonna pay for a damn thing on this table. / I didn't say I wasn't gonna eat it. I'm just not gonna pay for it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "What the hell are you looking at, Mac? Huh? You never seen a man eat French food before, huh?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "How we doing, Jeff? / You got eyes.", "c": ["Alex", "Jeff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I can't believe I caught the bouquet!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Was that today? Oh, for crying out loud. Hey, what the heck? I can't be runnin' off to weddings every day havin' a good time.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "He was telling me great things about being a child psychiatrist, and I was telling him great things about being a neighborhood guy.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "We made bets on who would see the most disgusting things floating around in the water. I let her win.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "And now she's gonna be out there on that deck looking for raw sewage with another guy.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Your last chance to prove that you're a decent human being and leave Zena with a... with a loving memory of Louie De Palma. And you blew it!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Happiness is hard to come by in this life, and you've given me more than my share.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "What a way to go out! What a man I'd be to say that.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Friendship is a gift of fate, and I thank the gods for sending you. People who just say 'hi' in this life don't know what they're missing.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Uh, well, um, there's, um, bingo at 7:30. Uh-huh. And then, uh, there's a movie, The Poseidon Adventure at 8:00.", "c": ["Zena", "Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Don't mind me. I know how it is with young marrieds.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "It's kinda like meetin' a legend, isn't it, Tom? Ah, I understand how difficult it must be competing with the ghost of Louie De Palma.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "It's kinda like meetin' a legend, isn't it, Tom?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "You mean that this is the first time my name ever came up? Oh, I get it. Oh, that's very decent of you, Zena. To spare old Tom here the pain of the inevitable comparison.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Well, what'd you think, you beat out the governor and the president to get her? This is what you beat out. Right here, look, this is it. It was you or this.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Well, what'd you think, you beat out the governor and the president to get her? This is what you beat out. Right here, look, this is it. It was you or this.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Honey, I'm a psychiatrist. It's my job. I'm trained to understand deviant behavior.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "How 'bout this? Like that? You're a psychiatrist. Why am I doing this, huh? Tell me, Doc.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I'm doing it because I hate your guts. And because it makes me feel good.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "And to think, I ran all the way over here just to show a little class. And what do I do? I wind up strangling your husband and stealing his watch.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "Happiness is hard to come by in this life... and you've given me more than my share.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "It's not my line. That was Reiger's line.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "I'm never gonna do better than you. You were the best woman that I ever had... and I let you go.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.54, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "When you see repulsive things floating around in the water... I'll be thinking of you.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.99, "im": 9.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Zenas Honeymoon"}, {"t": "It's not a tapestry; it's a travesty.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "You expecting somebody? No. The Easter Bunny? Baby New Year? The Great Pumpkin? Ho, ho, ho.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "You know, I once had a maternity suit like that.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "If I'm late with the presents, they'll start opening up each other.", "c": ["Character at youth center"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "At 3:15 this afternoon, it struck me that I really wanted to see you. At that same moment, I knew that you were thinking that you wanted to see me. Now, was I right, Alex? Is there a God?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Well, I think a lot of things all the time. I mean, uh, it's possible I might have been thinking about you, but...", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "our daughter is out of the country, and my other ex-husband recently won a court order that forbids me to get within 400 yards of him.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Phyllis, I'm not going to ask you what happened last Christmas. You're not? I swear to God I'm not. Well, good, because I'm not about to tear open a wound that healed after a year.", "c": ["Alex", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Can I come along with you? No. Alex, I won't bother your fares. I'll lie on the floor. They won't even know I'm there. No! In the trunk, then. Just leave it open a crack so I can breathe.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Okay, but just a crack. No, what am I talking about? You can't come with me.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Let me at least stay here until midnight so my doorman will think that I had someplace to go.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "It's Christmas Eve. What the hell? I'm going to let you go home early. Go on. Get out of here. Merry Christmas. Louie, I get off in six minutes.", "c": ["Louie", "Jeff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Why? Why, Alex? This is the second year in a row I've let them choose where to spend Christmas and they picked their father. Now I'm wondering if they love him more than they love me. Why? Why, Alex? Well, doesn't he have that great, uh, ski chalet in Aspen?", "c": ["Elaine", "Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "\u266a Grab your coat and get your hat, Elaine \u266a \u266a Leave your worries by the doorstep, Elaine \u266a \u266a Life can be so sweet, Elaine \u266a \u266a On the sunny side of the \u266a \u266a Sunny side of the \u266a \u266a Sunny side of the street, Elaine \u266a \u266a Cheer up for the holidays and have a merry Christmas \u266a \u266a Elaine. \u266a", "c": ["Singing telegram performer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "I hope that little wink doesn't mean you're going to do something like that for me. Why? Because I would feel very embarrassed at everybody staring at me while some Phillip Morris boy came in here and tap-danced and sang at me.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "You've got nothing to worry about, Alex. I would never send a Phillip Morris boy for a guy like you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "\u266a Deck the halls with boughs of holly \u266a \u266a Alex Reiger should be jolly \u266a \u266a That's why Jim has sent me here \u266a \u266a Take it from a dancing fruitcake \u266a \u266a You should be happy 'cause you're such a \u266a \u266a Cute cake. \u266a", "c": ["Singing telegram performer", "Alex"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "\u266a Take it from a dancing fruitcake \u266a \u266a You should be happy 'cause you're such a \u266a \u266a Cute cake. \u266a", "c": ["Telegram Singer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "On behalf of myself and the Sunshine Cab Company, on this Christmas Eve, I just want to say... watch out for drunk drivers and don't pick up anybody who might puke in your cab. Noel, Noel, joy to the world. And get your butts out of here.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "I didn't say they had to work. I just said, if they didn't work, they might not get cabs with the luxuries that they've grown accustomed to... like reverse.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "I don't think I'll be able to cash a check made out to 'The Bloodsucking Jackal.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Really? Why? Who would question it?", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Louie... Louie, you poor, pathetic thing. You only wanted money because you thought you weren't going to be invited. Oh, Louie. Oh, Louie, Louie, Louie. Poor Louie.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Do you like Christmas ham with, uh, honey glaze and pineapples on it? Yeah. Good. Then you better bring one.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Did you eat all that?! You know, I eat when I'm depressed. I ate everything in the refrigerator.", "c": ["Alex", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Did you know that Frosty the Snowman melted in the end?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Can I get you anything? A gallon of Rocky Road and cable TV.", "c": ["Alex", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "You want to go to a party? Did you invite me to a party? Or did I just have a hypoglycemic rush?", "c": ["Alex", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Every Christmas my family would get a-a big, beautiful, Scotch pine tree. We'd gather around and watch the servants decorate it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Not there, you fool! Higher and to the left!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "So the guy leaves the cab, and I say, 'Wait a minute. You forgot your gift,' and he says, 'No, no, no, you keep it. You deserve it more than she does.'", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "A pair of panties. They say, 'Property of Hell's Angels.' Big spender. A four-dollar item. Six-fifty.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Alex, do you have to call me your ex-wife? Oh, excuse me. You remember Phyllis, my podiatrist?", "c": ["Phyllis", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "And since I have none of those, I'm glad to be here.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "A party of 49 and me. Not one of those 49 people asked me to join them.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "By a bus, I hope.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "I am a lonely, middle-aged woman unable to deal with Christmas.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Who invited Alex's podiatrist?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Now, you guys steal anything, I break your heads. Say Merry Christmas. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I said say Merry Christmas. Say it! And God bless you. Say it!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Oh, and in our country, it is a tradition that the oldest woman leads it. Oh, no. Oh, great; just great. When were you born? Uh, February, 1952. February what? Fourth.", "c": ["Latka", "Phyllis", "Others"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, no offense, but, uh, could you spend less time with the people that don't need it? I mean, like the women from the Ice Capades and ballplayers. I mean, Lord, what do you care if a guy's stranded on second base?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, no offense, but, uh, could you spend less time with the people that don't need it? I mean, like the women from the Ice Capades and ballplayers. I mean, Lord, what do you care if a guy's stranded on second base?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Phyllis, you're nudging God.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Also, for me, Lord, stop short skirts and bring back two refills per prescription on Valium.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Nice of you to throw that in, Phyllis.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "If I could die now, I'd be a happy man.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "You can be as depressing as you want. It won't hurt, because I've got money.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "I didn't know what to pick, so I told 'em to send everything.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "It's my Christmas gift to you. Uh-huh. So, how do you like your present? Like it? L-Like it? I love it. It's perfect. How-How did you know? Well, it was either that, or a shirt.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "It's my Christmas gift to you. / Uh-huh. / So, how do you like your present? / Like it? L-Like it? I love it. It's perfect. How-How did you know? / Well, it was either that, or a shirt.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Come on, let's just pretend, you know... I don't want... I don't want to... Alex, come on, we'll just pretend it's New Year's Eve. Okay? Right here. No, we don't have to do this. Four... Phyllis... Three... Oh, come on, Phyllis. Two... Please, please. One. Why don't you just make it a nice... \u266a Should auld acquaintance \u266a Phyllis, Phyllis, stop that. \u266a Be forgot \u266a Phyllis, Phyllis, stop that. I'm not gonna do it, Phyllis.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Get Me Through The Holidays"}, {"t": "Checks? Ever since my dad died and my brother took charge of my estate, I've been getting checks, lots of checks.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "When you cash them, what have you got? Money. Money can be lost, stolen or wasted and you feel terrible. This way, if anything happens to them, what have I lost? Checks.", "c": ["Iggy", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "I've heard about business managers running off to Mexico with their clients' money. And if you did that, I'd miss you like crazy.", "c": ["Iggy", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "You'll need your driver's license. Oh, you need two IDs? Yeah. Got it!", "c": ["Alex", "Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "I'm going to be a little bit late. I love to touch her all over when she's like this.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "The wife of the guy I like most in this garage just said I'm not welcome in their home anymore.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "It's cheap, but it's a sewer. I don't know why I stay. Because it's you?", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "I've always wanted a really great apartment. And, you know, something plush with the pipes inside the walls.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Louie! Ignore it! Ignore it! Ignore it! That was the old Louie saying good-bye.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Look, look, look, it makes those little ice cubes with the hole in it. Whoo!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "I read somewhere where this guy in Jersey claims that he got sterilized by one of these, but I figure he must have been cooking in some weird position.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "We wanted a place like this all our lives. That long, huh?", "c": ["Mrs. Sheffield", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Scott doesn't want to have children right away. Go stand by the microwave.", "c": ["Mrs. Sheffield", "Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "$95,000... I'll take it!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Okay, but if I'm gonna pay that kind of money, I want a cab with a heater.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "You called me 'Jim.' This marks a turning point in our relationship. I want to remember this day. The red-letter day when my boss and buddy finally called...", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "I know they say that money can't buy love. But if you give me these for 48 big ones, it'll be Valentine's Day forever.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Three percent. 12.75. Okeydoke.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex", "Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "When I applied to Harvard, they told me I'd never get past their stodgy admissions board. But I did. All you've got to do is dress nicely, shake hands firmly, and have your dad finance a gymnasium.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "I think they should be condemned.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Well, then it's our job to put him at his ease.", "c": ["Iggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "When you go to a clothing store, you got one arm in the suit and the salesman runs off to help another guy who looks like a better prospect.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Or when you walk into a bank to open an account and a security guard undoes the flap on his holster.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "What do you mean, 'give you a look'? I don't know. Perhaps something like this?", "c": ["Alex", "Iggy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "What do you mean, 'give you a look'? I don't know. Perhaps something like this? Iggy, will you cut it out.", "c": ["Alex", "Iggy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "\u266a Schlemiel, Schlimazel, Hasenpfeffer Incorporated \u266a", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "They pay you all that money to be a chicken? I just don't act like a chicken. It's based on reality.", "c": ["Board Member", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "If I ding like a bell, would you do the chicken? Oh, please, lady. Oh, please, you do want to live in this building, don't you?", "c": ["Board Member", "Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "We wouldn't allow an actor to live here even if he were English.", "c": ["Board Member"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Look, I don't know what you do for a living, but if they accept you, please don't let me know.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Well, uh, I'm-I'm a supervisor in the transportation field. Mr. De Palma is a taxi dispatcher.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Oh, and what makes you assume that I'm Jewish? Point well made, sir. We shouldn't jump to conclusions. Perhaps someone in his family was a pelican.", "c": ["Alex", "Board Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Once a year the British ambassador comes over for a spot of sherry. Is that all right with you?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "You're fired. You are no longer my accountant.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "I think you've shown us what we need to know. Welcome to the building.", "c": ["Board Member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Are you gonna go through with this? So that you can have the privilege of living here with these-these posturing chowderheads?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Cartwheels, all the way home.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Louie Moves Uptown"}, {"t": "Now I know what drove Scott Fitzgerald to drink.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "You drained your soul into the typewriter for naught.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Therefore, we are returning your M\u266aA\u266aS\u266aH script herewith.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Oh! Ho-ho! You wrote a script for M\u266aA\u266aS\u266aH? I gave birth to a script for M\u266aA\u266aS\u266aH...", "c": ["Unknown character", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Hawkeye has to perform surgery on Colonel Potter, all the while being disrupted by shelling from the North Koreans and a Zaxalonian starship.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Their bodies are the size of a grape.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "The queen of the Zaxalonians, disguised as an earring, falls in love with Klinger.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Comedy... tragedy... and a statement against war. And a pie fight.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "So guess who's going to be licking my face in 15 minutes. Not me.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Buddy Hackett?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "You must have stole him from a circus!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Buddy? You mean that shipment you're expecting is Buddy? Yeah. Your dog? Yeah. The man-eater?", "c": ["Unknown character", "Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "I thought that wretched cur had been dead for years. Damn it! I slept better thinking that that mongrel was roasting in doggie hell.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "You bit him first.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't know, Alex. Uh, they say that once a dog has tasted slime...", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "You won't be making funny remarks, Nardo, when that dog's got his fangs in your vocal cords.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Reiger, that dog had better be in a cage and muzzled because he is a hound of hell. He's a devil dog.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Buddy, come on. I know you can talk. Say, 'Reiger.' Reiger. Come on, the 'rrr' and the 'grr' are easy. All you gotta do is put an 'E' in it. Reiger.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "You like it when I'm an idiot to you, don't you? I love it.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Don't worry about nothin', Alex. I not going to tell nobody about this. If anybody finds out about this, it'll be because Buddy can't keep his mouth shut.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Keps! That's it? If you wanted a bigger blessing, you should've got a elephant.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "You know, Alex, the greatest trick that a dog ever did, the one where you point your finger like a gun and you shoot Buddy the Wonder Dog and he staggers, as though mortally wounded, and then he spins around as if he's dying a slow, agonizing death until he shudders, collapses, breathes his last breath, falls over on his back, kicks all four legs up into the air and dies.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "No, uh, I-I think it's been exaggerated. I mean, basically, what I do is I point my finger at him and he just lies down on the floor.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's about 600. It's 133. I said 'about.'", "c": ["Unknown character", "Alex", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Return with us now to the thrilling days of yesteryear. Look out, Buddy! There's one on the roof behind you. Look out! You can't see him! Oh! It's too late. Bang!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "You got such a stupid beast!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Uh, Alex, a dog is like an automobile. No matter how well you take care of it, eventually, the parts will wear out.", "c": ["Vet"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "So what's wrong with the dog, Doc? Is it a transmission or do his paws need rotating?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Yes, that was a bad analogy.", "c": ["Vet"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "I think I should say that a dog is, is like a wine. Yes, a French Burgundy, that has its peak years... and then, later on...", "c": ["Vet"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Doctor, would you just tell me when a dog is like a dog?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "I know, I know! I did it to amuse the dog. He happens to like humor. You love it, Buddy? Come on, Buddy. You like funny stuff, don't you?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Ooh, this smells delicious. I didn't know you cooked. That stuff on the stove is, uh, dog food.", "c": ["Shawn", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Don't be modest. This is excellent. No, really, it's dog food. It's for my dog.", "c": ["Shawn", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Fish by-products, artificial caramel coloring and pork organs. Oh, my... God.", "c": ["Alex", "Shawn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Nobody should eat that stuff.", "c": ["Shawn"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "That's why your apartment looks like a testing lab for Hartz Mountain.", "c": ["Shawn"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "He's got a weak bladder. Sometimes, when I come home, there's a rainbow in here.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Uh, yeah, actually he likes the Letterman show, but he complains about too many commercials.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "You haven't tasted them? No, I-I... Come on, try one. No, I-I don't really like them. I... Come on, Alex. Ah, nah... Oh. Have another. Whoo. No, no...", "c": ["Shawn", "Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. You can't have any of these, Buddy. These are people food.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Marino was blind?! Legally blind. He could still sort of see. The dog barked at red lights. It was during the strike. I tried it out for a week. It didn't work.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "He could still sort of see. The dog barked at red lights. It was during the strike. I tried it out for a week. It didn't work.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Look, the dog is senile, Reiger. I mean, look at him. His brain has turned to Alpo.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "If he doesn't do it, I'll walk out of here right now with the dog. But if he does it, he goes with me in my cab. And what's more, I'll let him drive.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Return with us now to the thrilling days of yesteryear. That's five aces you got there, partner. You know what we do to cheats in Dodge City, don't you? Up. You... Bang!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Buddy actually performs the death trick perfectly", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "That is the best dog trick ever. I've never seen anything so convincing.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Uh-oh.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Let me buy you a cup of coffee. I have a cup of coffee. Well, let me give you the quarter back. I don't want your quarter. Let-Let me buy you another cup of coffee.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "It wasn't like he was a human being. He was a dog; just a dog. And the dog died.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Alexs Old Buddy"}, {"t": "Those girls are not bimbos, they're all career women.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "That girl bending over to lace her boots is a brain surgeon.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "that picture of your old lady give me the willies", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "you must admit she's no Lena Horne", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "'Cause God gave her beauty on the inside.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "When I see that picture, I see the most beautiful woman in the world.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Sprinkle a little baby powder in your shorts.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Well, that's good for it, too, but if you really want to clear it up, just...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Every boy should know how to hop on a moving freight train.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Jim, I think she said oboe lessons, not hobo lessons.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "For every hour that I practiced, I committed an atrocity.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Ballet dancing.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "The neighborhood has changed.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Yeah, you and the composer.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Hey, do they get beat up as bad as you used to?", "c": ["Jason"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "I think she has her heart set on logging or smelting pig iron.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "That scene in the bar.", "c": ["Jason"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Here, show this to your friends. They'll love it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "That's when his trunks usually start falling down.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Gregory is a wimp.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "'The Butcher' Nardo.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "I'm a blithering pea brain.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "I've only boxed for ten seconds. I don't need a shower.", "c": ["Jason"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "You needed a shower when you got here.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "You said the same thing about Pac-Man.", "c": ["Jason"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "The ability of two men to put on gloves, stand toe-to-toe in the spirit of sportsmanship and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals.", "c": ["Reverend Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "you wouldn't be hearing me now unless you were a dog.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Well, no, actually, we were playing soccer at the time. We... not allowed to use your hands in soccer, so it cost us a penalty kick.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "And, uh, well, after the game, the kids on the team took off my pants and threw them out of the bus window, but that didn't matter, no. I mean, I felt, I felt accepted.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "I should have been a lawyer.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "No, I do.", "c": ["Father"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Your son hangs around pool halls? / No, I do.", "c": ["Elaine", "Other father"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "I blame him and I blame him!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Look how good it healed.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "Not a pretty picture: a 44-year-old man sitting in a room full of hair, playing an oboe.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "You gotta be kidding.", "c": ["Jason"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Sugar Ray Nardo"}, {"t": "And if you haven't, you dirty miserable... Come on in here.", "c": ["Danny DeVito"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "What do you mean busting my chops here, making believe you're a regular person.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "He'll give you the scales off his back.", "c": ["Unknown driver"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "I only work 60 hours a week.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Me? I'm a cabdriver. I'm the only cabdriver in this place.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Why is everyone here just a little angry?", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "I am the living embodiment of the '60s.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Everything that came along, I went with, even if I didn't know what it was, I went with it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Thank you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.92, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "You're welcome.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Cabdriver.", "c": ["Multiple drivers"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Hasn't everyone?", "c": ["Old man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "That's a tough choice.", "c": ["Old man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "What... does... a... yellow... light... mean? repeated increasingly slowly", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "It doesn't get any better.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "You could've said you were looking for another apartment.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Well, my admirers will just have to wander the halls looking for me.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Maybe Angela ate her.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Now feel free to jump in and stop me anytime.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "I wouldn't mind looking like you if I was a man.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "dropped ten or 70 pounds...", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "You could just nod.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "I haven't been romantically involved in eight years and I'm not about to break my streak right now.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Make you feel like you did your good deed for the day?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "I can't believe you came all the way back here just because you forgot to give me the 'let's be friends' speech.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Hey, Angela, I think we had a normal moment there.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "A half an hour.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Conskufflement.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Either you have sex with me or you freeze to death. Sex. Death.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Talk is cheap. I want your body.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "See? Smooth, milky white. Yours.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Do you mock us because you do not eat animals with cloven hooves unless they chew their cud? No!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Now, peel me like a grape, so I can get out of here!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Why don't they just get married again?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "You son of a gun, you!", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Well, she wasn't the one I was after, Tony.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no, no...", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "I'm the one he spends tortured nights dreaming about.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "He said that?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "No, I'm just assuming.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "It's okay with me.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "Alex, Elaine's heart is getting broken and you're having a great time here, dancing.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 1"}, {"t": "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean that as a come-on. No, that's not true. I did mean that as a come-on.", "c": ["Mike Beldon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "I'd feel like a call girl. You didn't do anything. I'd feel like a bad call girl.", "c": ["Woman passenger"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "What would you have given me if I had stayed the night? A very sweet memory. You're better off with the hundred.", "c": ["Woman passenger", "Mike Beldon"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Oh.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "She ripped the shirt off my back.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "I got nothing.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "I don't do that. Yes, you do. You do it almost continuously. I don't. Yes, you do.", "c": ["Louie", "Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "You mean he hasn't touched you? I can't even get him to hold my hand.", "c": ["Alex", "Zena"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Zena's not your first girl, she's your first nice girl.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Break up with this lovely, warm person, who obviously feels a great deal for you, and spend the rest of your life floating through meaningless affairs with cheap strangers, who you'll have to pay to satisfy your disgusting, physical lust.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Great advice.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Donna Summer. We had a little spat before I met you. I couldn't take the pressure of the racial thing. And besides, she's always shaking it in front of other guys. It got to me. I told her, 'I don't want you moaning on records anymore.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "It's just that you're too good, period.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "relating to you in a nonverbal manner.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "To tell you the truth, I've been asking myself that question. My friends have been asking me that question, my parents, the doorman's been asking me that question.", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "You touch me.", "c": ["Zena"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Holy crap.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Take me to the place you cry.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "I can't go in there, Zena! Let me out! Let me out!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "'It would mean a lot to me.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "You can go now, Louie. That's easy for you to say.", "c": ["Zena", "Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "You'll drink a glass of water very quickly. Somebody is going to mistake you for a girl. You'll do the cancan in a green shirt, wearing a catcher's mask", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "That's the silliest thing I ever heard. Aha!", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "No, this is not Mary. Do I sound like a Mary? You have the wrong number.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Louie, if I'm going to die, I'm going to die as I lived, dancing the cancan in a green shirt and a catcher's mask.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Louie... I didn't die.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Ignatowski's a boob.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Nice cancan.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Reiger, did you see it? It was hideous!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "But if I were to tell you my fantasy, it would knock you out.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "We always play cards. We play cards every day. That's all we do is play cards. Play cards.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Elaine, we're trying to play cards here. Come on! Buzz off.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Good night, Mr. Walters!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "Good night, Mr. Walters!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "A Taxi Celebration 2"}, {"t": "The new champ demanding the loser's belt as a prize", "c": ["Tony", "Opponent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Fork over that championship belt. / I lost it. / Then give me your belt.", "c": ["Tony", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Elaine refusing to arm wrestle with emphatic 'No!' responses", "c": ["Elaine", "Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "What's left, I'll use to cover my steering wheel", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Well, no, he's ducking you", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Alex, this is a girl. I'm going to tear her arms off", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Well, okay. Just don't break a nail", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "All right! I'm the undisputed champ of the garage!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Losing never is, kid", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "And the most unfair part is about to walk in", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Muscle, too, he's got... A woman beat him", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "I'll die trying", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Why settle for a cabbie when you can have the top dog?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Are you the top dog? Woof, woof", "c": ["Diane", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Uh, to get as far away from him as possible. I'll join you", "c": ["Diane", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "I guess they can't picture me frolicking naked through the alfalfa sprouts", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "I guess we're not as far away as possible", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Oh, no, but, uh, when we first got there, we did find something similar living in the barn", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Jim's delayed entrance and recognition scene", "c": ["Jim", "Diane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "I was beginning to worry", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "No, no, I was talking about the Volkswagen. We already had 12 people", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Well, you always were lazy", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Uh, how about a bar?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Beauty and the Bean Brain", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have her name tattooed on my face", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "I'm giving you the belt back", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "you are never going to live it down... I ain't losing this time, 'cause last time I was tired", "c": ["Elaine", "Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Tony's series of excuses (tired, rough night, skipped lunch) leading to backing down", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "I had, like, a rough night last night... And I skipped lunch... Keep, keep the belt", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Welcome to today's episode of As The Loser Turns", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "over a woman who wants him as much as she wants ringworm", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Have you tried fabric softener?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "For instance, her number is 'fblwrkz'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "An intimate, romantic dinner for three", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Will our lonely, frustrated hero make a fool of himself at the Chez Ptomaine restaurant?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "It's the 'yahoos,' the 'yipees,' and the 'gotchas.'", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "I'll turn down my volume, too.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "He wasn't a murderer. He was a flasher", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's why I keep my door locked", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "It'll keep", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "I'll send her home", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "She'll believe it if she asks any of these folks here", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "I've got a stomach pump there", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "No. He did everything but make his head revolve and spit up pea soup", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "His porch light has been flickering for years", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Yes, I'd like a small glass of poison, please", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Remember me, the weirdo? The man with the flickering porch lights", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Jim, I don't know if I love anybody at 3:00 in the morning", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "You're confusing flakiness with style", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Yeah, a beanbag chair", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Well, not everybody has a guest room, Alex", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "Ha! Oh, my... Ha! Boy, I'm a lunatic!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "You told me that if you could be anybody in the world, you'd still be yourself, so you wouldn't have to buy new clothes", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "You think I'm a flake, but you love me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "You think I'm a flake, but you love me", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "She thinks I'm in the bathroom, brushing my teeth", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame"}, {"t": "You kick some squirrels into the lake?", "c": ["Reiger"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "I detect the not-so-faint smell of mostaccioli. So, it must be Banta.", "c": ["Louie", "Banta"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Now, my ears and my nose don't seem to be enough in this case. So, step closer, O, Unknown One, and allow me to identify you with my sense of touch.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "I think he knows it's me.", "c": ["Nardo"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Was it Nardo? Surprise, surprise.", "c": ["Louie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "We narrowly escaped an embarrassment.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Sit down, Iggy.", "c": ["Louie", "Iggy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Weather report. Fog turning to hazy sunshine.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Five bucks in a magic shop and I was the star of the class.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Pride, Reiger. Pride.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "A half a carat of girl's best friend.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "No, I'm appalled at the prospect of you breeding.", "c": ["Reiger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Lighten up, Reiger, I'm in love.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Now, quick, get out of here before Louie shows up.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "When I uncork this baby, it's gonna explode.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.41, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "With any luck at all, in 24 hours, I'll be able to see your sweet, beautiful face.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Foot deodorant.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "I'd rather have a baboon do it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "I don't blame you. I've seen that. It's lovely.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Well, go ahead, Latka, don't be chicken. All right. Chicken.", "c": ["Simka", "Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "That was a big hit.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "No, my tie, Reiger. I'm afraid she won't like the way I knot it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "you-you-you've a somewhat puckish quality, you know?", "c": ["Reiger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Let's not talk hypothetical here, Reiger. You think I'm cute?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "It's, uh, some people like Golden Retrievers, right? And some people like, uh, pit bulls.", "c": ["Reiger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Some people keep tarantulas. That doesn't mean they're gonna marry one.", "c": ["Reiger"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Oh, you must be here for Wanda. Well, she's sick. This, coming from a girl with a 'W' embroidered on her sweater.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "she's never seen it, Reiger.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "You got a tweezer, Reiger? What for? I want to pluck my eyebrows.", "c": ["Louie", "Reiger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "No, just the hair right in the middle here. Louie, come on. You don't need it! Well, it couldn't hurt.", "c": ["Louie", "Reiger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "I mean, give her a couple of months to figure this out, to get used to it.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh, Louie, you're beautiful! It's still blurry.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Except I thought you had a little more hair between your eyebrows.", "c": ["Judy"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "It grows back!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "I got to adapt. I mean, no more bragging about my extensive wardrobe when I only own one suit.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have to buy her a real diamond.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Louie And The Blind Girl"}, {"t": "Bleam niki schlev rosko iska bedosko pavitz iba da.", "c": ["character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "The stamp commemorates goat cheese", "c": ["Tony", "Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "They would like me to be the ambassador to France", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "It pays $2.75 a hour", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Because I'm the only one who speaks French", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Hey, she really does speak French", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I'm not even going to pester you with questions about whether you had a wonderful time. However, if you'd care to volunteer the information, I'd be glad to hear it", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "decency prevents me from divulging the details, but, you know, it had to do with water beds, baby oil...", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "They know I'm kidding. Yeah, well, I don't think they do. Really? Well, great.", "c": ["Arnie", "Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "but now that you mention it, I must say I went for the gold and I got it!", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "You know what? I think it's his boyish insecurity. It's got to be. There's nothing else.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I thought maybe then I could walk you home and we could do it till we pass out", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "You usually get slapped much harder than that", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Are you kidding, Alex? The kids got to love him. He's like Yoda.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "In an overprotective, paranoid sort of way is what I mean", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "You're gonna trust your kids to a guy who promises never to bathe again until Seattle wins the Super Bowl?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I pretended to have a heart attack and die", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "she was profuse in her gratitude", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I'm great with kids", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Je vais continuer jusqu'\u00e0 la fin de mes jours", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "my French is a little rusty, but if I were you, I'd have someone taste my coffee in the morning", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I knew that you would love me enough to do the right thing if I made your life a living hell", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "We broke off diplomatic relations with France", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I put out, man!", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "The key to popularity was knowing how to play dodgeball and how to make those little sounds with your armpits", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Was Buffalo Bob himself? Was Bozo the Clown himself?", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Your conjugal visit's over.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Did Nardo ever mention a guy named Peterson? Elaine adored him. When he met the kids, they hated him.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "when the moon is full, you can hear his voice saying, 'Elaine, I thought we had something special... special... special...'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "But it's moments like this that make up for it", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Oh, well, I guess I'll have to trade you in for two new kids", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Can we trade her in?", "c": ["Jason"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I'd like you to meet the greatest guy in the world... Arnie Ross!", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I'll bet the girls are just crazy about you, but you don't give them the time of day. Right?", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "A mouse or a rat?", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? I'm fighting for my life here", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Aw, give me a break. Then a snake.", "c": ["Jennifer", "Arnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Well, then let's all get stinking drunk!", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "What about money?!", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Let them earn it. In return for the money, they could just come over to my place tomorrow and put in some copper plumbing", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "You're ugly! You're stupid! I hate you, Mom!", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "You have beautiful children, Elaine", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Would $40 make you feel better?", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I should be sterilized", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Kids... Good night", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Just not as much", "c": ["Jason"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "They're honest. Yeah. I like them.", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "Arnie's even cuter than Ricky Schroeder", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "What do you say I march in there and, uh, kick their butts all over the room?", "c": ["Arnie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I guess I am. You know what? What? I love it.", "c": ["Elaine", "Arnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "I guess I am.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Arnie Meets The Kids"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, I ran eight miles. He drove alongside in his cab.", "c": ["Runner", "Cab Driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Well, the heater was stuck. It was like an oven in there. My body can't take that kind of strain.", "c": ["Cab Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "It has removed more teeth than trench mouth.", "c": ["Reader"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Yeah, 'Gums Banta.'", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "You mean, with a color photo in Boxing Monthly?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Jim, that's his mouth.", "c": ["Someone", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Well, so is Lupus. You don't see him wasting company time.", "c": ["Louie", "Lupus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "No matter where we are, it could be the crummiest, sleaziest joint, she fits right in.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Go on! Go on!", "c": ["Lupus"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "You're gonna go see your mother first. Oh, Vicki. No, Tony, I missed my period.", "c": ["Tony", "Vicki"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "I just go and put on a little perfume.", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Gee, I guess nothing's foolproof, huh?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "No. You've already done your part.", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Yeah, I wanna drive, man. Give me a cab. Sorry, all out.", "c": ["Tony", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Has anyone ever noticed how Tony eats? He's got the table manners of a Hun.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "but they should serve his food in a trough.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "It came from me. I'm right here. You lose!", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "You're not all here, Jim.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "I'd rather talk to this pretzel.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "I mean, just because you have $3 million dollars doesn't mean you always have to pay.", "c": ["Someone"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "The guy sounds like a lush. How's he keep his license?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, but if we use him, we gotta use his monkey.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "And, uh, if that was a pep talk, you did just as good as Alex.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "That's high tech.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "No, and I think I got a loose filling now over here.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "No, and I think I got a loose filling now over here.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Well, I guess I'm gonna go double my bet. Is there a phone in here?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "If he's got piles, he would've told me.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Well, it's a lousy comparison. I'm the first one to admit that. So what'd you say it for?", "c": ["Leo", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Well, you'll probably have more time than that because I usually get lost.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "I insist that all my fighters have short introductions. Why? 'Cause I have to write them.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, well, I'm just blowing air. Listen, I'll be managing when I'm 100.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Three, four, five... I see what you mean. He looks better already.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, Leo, you know what's wrong with you? You're a crummy manager!", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Tony, Vicki called me 100 times and I forgot to tell you! Go, Tony!", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Because it's hard watching the guy you love being force-fed his own nose.", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "That's the thing in the middle of your face he was trying to push to the back of your head.", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "That's supposed to be a proposal? In most countries, it is.", "c": ["Vicki", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "we have a split decision!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "For a minute, I thought Gentry won. He did, but Tony's a good loser.", "c": ["Someone", "Someone else"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Good? He's great!", "c": ["Someone"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, Alex, how do you know? How do you know when the woman comes along that you want to love for the rest of your life?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "Well, that's a question for a wiser man than I. Hmm, you're right. I'll go see if I can catch up to Leo.", "c": ["Alex", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Tonys Baby"}, {"t": "And your sample case blew up in your face?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "It cost six dollars.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Oh, what's that? / The lid.", "c": ["Elaine", "Simka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "How would you like to be paid? / Oh, very much.", "c": ["Elaine", "Simka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Uh, eventually.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "A brain? / No, boss. I don't need a brain.", "c": ["Louie", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Jim, you bought a cup of coffee with a $5,000 coin?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Yeah. No cream, no sugar.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "But I already had half the cup.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Art? / No. Tom.", "c": ["Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "You wouldn't believe what they were asking for Disney World.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "I mean, mortuaries do better return business.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "So is the dry cleaners and we never eat there.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Right in the middle here, there's gonna be a little pond where a woman will play the harp on a swan shaped boat.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "PU!", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Takes me back to the good ol' days when I used to sleep at the zoo.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Wouldn't the boat sink?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "I think it should be burned to the ground, the wreckage bulldozed, the ashes scattered and the earth salted so that nothing will ever grow on this spot again.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Well, I think I'd like to try free peanuts first.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Jim, you've squandered your money on the sleaziest dive I've ever seen. You're an immature, irresponsible, childlike simpleton. / Hear, hear!", "c": ["Tom", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "He's a pompous ass.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "I said I wanted to drive my bicycle off the roof. / No. / That time, he encouraged me.", "c": ["Jim", "Alex", "Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Today, some guy came in to use the telephone. He didn't have any ID, so I kicked him out. / Well, better safe than sorry.", "c": ["Jim", "Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Well, I caught him doing that with the soup.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "It's our Fisherman's Special. / That's really Chinese noodles. I painted the little eyes on.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "It was either that or go crazy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Well, why don't you try a wet T-shirt contest? / I had one.", "c": ["Tony", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "The only contestant was a 400-pound ex-marine with a hairy chest.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "than people pelting me with dinner rolls.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Well, drop 'em off quick, Nardo, because I need two cabs to pick up Brando and Olivier at Mario's. I can't put 'em in the same cab. You know how those guys are.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Pray for him.", "c": ["Nun"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Sally Field and Mary Martin.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "America's premier balladeer... The one and only Alex Reiger.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Closing time, folks! / No!", "c": ["Alex", "Customers"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Hey, Jim, did you ever think of adding a couple of drums and a bass player?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "and I know the brandy would help.", "c": ["Tracy Donovan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Can I say one word in my defense? / Seltzer.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.75, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "And you tell the guys down at the Liquor Authority that I'm a man to be reckoned with!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Jims Marios"}, {"t": "Anybody got any spare change? Anything left in your pockets you don't want? Old gum? Traveler's checks? Somebody want to give me their clothing?", "c": ["Homeless man"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "You're not a scuzzo. You're an airhead. We allow airheads in here.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "I'm afraid you're mistaking me for somebody else.", "c": ["Homeless man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "What if I gave you $1,000?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Define 'too soft a touch.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "I don't know who you are and I don't know why you did this, but it's nice to know there are people like you in the world. I mean that from one bum to another.", "c": ["Homeless man"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "I do it out of selfishness. To experience the joy you get when you personally hand over money that's gonna make a person's life a little better.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Oh, no, not a lot. Like, today, I'm only gonna do it five more times.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "What if you found out what it was like? What if I gave you $1,000?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Yes, you passionate son of a gun.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Can the one person I give this money to, can it be one of my kids?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "The tradition of my country forces me to protest.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "No, no, no! I won't take it! This is an insult! Thank you very much.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Would you do that? Of course.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "You can see it right now.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Stinking lousy $1,000? How dare you! I spit on your money! Thank you very much.", "c": ["Reverend Gorky"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "I wanted that $1,000 so we could afford to have a baby.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "You are giving me this $1,000?! No, no, no! I won't take it! Wow! Thank you! God bless you! Oh, our traditions are so beautiful!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "You haven't got a phone! I meant from the sidewalk. I do have a window.", "c": ["Walt", "Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "That classic one where Gilligan gets hypnotized and thinks he's Mary Ann.", "c": ["Walt"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "You can't tell how blue the Ponderosa sky is or how green the trees are, or even what shade of brown Little Joe's horse is.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Don't start getting teary on me now. You know, the color's gonna look blurred.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Shut up, shut up, Tony. It's starting now.", "c": ["Walt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "And call next time!", "c": ["Walt"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "or you can be mean and selfish and greedy and not share it with him.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Is it okay if I use my $500 to buy something for you?", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "ColecoVision and 11 cassettes.", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "The hell you are.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "If I had a million dollars, I'd hire three big guys to stuff this lousy thousand down your throat.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Maybe it's contaminated from germ warfare, and the Russians paid you to plant it on my body as an experiment to see if I sprout some kind of weird fungus.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Good-bye, New York! You chewed me up and you spit me out! And we're well rid of you!", "c": ["Jeremy", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "'Nancy, we're late.' Because she's in there changing. Don't you get it? She's run out of closet space and he doesn't know where to put the missile.", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.46, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "What are you, a Republican?", "c": ["Jeremy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "You mean you're saying we don't get along with the Russians? Well, there you go. Was that so hard?", "c": ["Jeremy", "Alex"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Well, if you'd have seen the look on that lady's face when I handed her that 1,100 bucks. It would've knocked you out!", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "The only thing that guy ever enjoyed giving anyone was hepatitis.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "I mean, you couldn't believe that I wanted to do something nice for you. You couldn't believe that I was capable of doing one decent thing. You could not believe that I thought of you as a friend.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. No, Louie, I-I mean it. Really. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Feels good... doesn't it, boss?", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "A Grand Gesture"}, {"t": "Are you serving barbecued yak lips again?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "I wasn't planning on it, but, uh, if you want, okay, we'll serve it just for you.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "You know, this-this feels like this is a nice way of you saying that our parties stink. A very nice way.", "c": ["Latka", "Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Latka, don't you lock your door? Why? This is America.", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Oh, that reminds me. Uh, Louie? Thanks for thinking of me.", "c": ["Alex", "Louie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Where'd you get all this stuff? Democratic Convention, 1968.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Yes, you did. In fact, you told us you got arrested. Yup, for stealing decorations.", "c": ["Unknown", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "They never would have caught me, except I went back for one other item. What was that? John Chancellor's tie.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "It looks likes Uncle Sam exploded in here.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Now, who's up for bobbing for fish parts?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Alex, hold your nose and count to 20.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Me! But I've got to warn you, I've done this professionally.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "She gets this way once a month. Oh.", "c": ["Latka", "Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Are we supposed to have realized something here?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Bills, bills, bills.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Why did these interviews have to happen while she's having her crimpka poosh?", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Couple of days? Yeah. It's going to be more like two weeks.", "c": ["Alex", "Latka"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Well... Well, my... crimpka poosh... lasts four days tops.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Elaine, you don't have crimpka poosh. I don't want to argue the point, but I do.", "c": ["Latka", "Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Latka, I have crimpka poosh, and I have been crimpka pooshing since I was 12.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Well, I did. But maybe because I love talking about it so much.", "c": ["Elaine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "I'm talking about the two weeks every month when Simka becomes like another person.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Latka, I'm no scientist or medical authority. I'm just an average Joe.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "I read about it in the Harvard Medical Journal. Or was it on a box of Cocoa Puffs?", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "I'll get it. / Hey! Hey, wait a minute! Where are you going? Come back here, you.", "c": ["Jim", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Boy, Reiger, I'd hate to be you. I'd hate to be the one who ends up having to help everybody else.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Geez, what a sap!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "But wait a minute! Reiger the Good is here! He'll save the day and enjoy himself to boot. Let the good times roll, Reiger!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "But wait a minute! Reiger the Good is here! He'll save the day and enjoy himself to boot. Let the good times roll, Reiger!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "My barbecue chips!", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "I'm a mad woman that Latka is well rid of. Dear Lord, help me, I'm wacko! I'm wacko! Reiger, I'm wacko.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "I'm wacko! Reiger, I'm wacko.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "You had just better be talking about little men in blackface who play the banjos, buddy.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "You had just better be talking about little men in blackface who play the banjos, buddy.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Maybe we could just work it in to the half-time show at the Super Bowl.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Maybe we could just work it in to the half-time show at the Super Bowl.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm just going up to the roof to sing a few bars of 'I Enjoy Being a Girl' and then I'm gonna jump.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Well then, if there's nothing to be ashamed of, how come it hasn't been the movie of the week?", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sure it will be. They'll probably call it 'The Love Bloat.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Now that is exactly what a rational, sane person would wear. Good, I'll change on the bus.", "c": ["Alex", "Simka"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "In my country, you'd be covered with jelly and sent to live among the fat.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "But I think my favorite part of America is the fruited plain. Of course the purple mountain majesty is nothing to shake a stick at.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "In my country, you'd be covered with jelly and sent to live among the fat.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "She's one... She's one hot, fidgety mama.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "I remember because I thought it was going to be a double feature.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Um, oh, it was Officer and a Gentleman. I remember because I thought it was going to be a double feature.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "See, I told you. It's a real turn-on.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "We already got one wrong because you can't tell the difference between Richard Gere and a bald Hindu.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "What do you mean, be calm? You wouldn't be so calm if it was you who was gonna get deported.", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Well, what's the use of answering the questions if you got them all wrong?", "c": ["Simka"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Yes, I'm thoroughly convinced that you two are legitimately husband and wife.", "c": ["Immigration Officer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Aren't you gonna give us that speech about 'Welcome to America'? We don't do that.", "c": ["Latka", "Immigration Officer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "Welcome to America, Mrs. Gravas.", "c": ["Latka"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Taxi", "ss": "taxi", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Simkas Monthlies"}, {"t": "So you've come to the master for guidance? Is this what you're saying, Grasshopper?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Actually, you called me in here. But, yeah.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Just wanted to talk to you manager a manager.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. My mistake. That was a woman I was talking to. So. She had a very low voice. Probably a smoker. So...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "So this is my kingdom, far as the eye can see.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Pam has been with us, um... for... forever. Right, Pam? Well, I don't know.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago. Reow, reow.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "What?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's called the wastepaper basket!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Look at that! Oh, look at that face.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "People say I am the best boss. They go, 'God, we've never worked in a place like this before. You're hilarious. And you get the best out of us.' Um... I think that pretty much sums it up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm... I'm boring myself just talking about this.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Wassuuuup? I still love that after seven years. Whasuuuup?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I call her Hillary Rodham Clinton. Right? Not to her face, because, uh... Well, not because I'm scared of her. Because I'm not.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Mmm... me no get an agenda.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You put it in the garbage can that was a special filing cabinet.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Yeah! Uh, that was a joke. That was a joke that, uh, was actually my brother's. And it was... it was supposed to be with bills, and it doesn't work great with faxes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Me no wanna hear that, Jan. Because downsizing is a bitch. It is a real bitch.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Not downsizing himself, but is he concerned about downsizing? Ha ha ha ha!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Hey, you big queen! Oh, that's not... appropriate.", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Does the carpet match the drapes? Oh, my God. Ohh! That's... horrifying. And horrible. Horrible person.", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Watch this, this is Moe. Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck! Meeeeh! Ha ha! Ah, right here. Three Stooges. High five! Oh, Pam. It's a guy thing, Pam.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm Hitler! Adolf Hitler...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then I might... I just, I don't think it's many little girls' dream to be a receptionist.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "One word, two syllables: demarcation.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Safety violation. I could fall and pierce... an organ.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! Six Million Dollar Man! Steve Austin! Actually, that would be a good salary for me, don't you think? $6 million?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "People I respect, heroes of mine, would be... Bob Hope. Um... Abraham Lincoln. Definitely. Bono. Uh, and probably God... would be the fourth one.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It's really incalcalacable.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'm Assistant Regional Manager. I should know first. Assistant to the Regional Manager.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You know, you can go mess with Josh's people. But I'm the head of this family, and you ain't gonna be messin' with my chillun'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt, which is mixed berry. Jim said mixed berries? Oh, well, yeah, he's on to me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "He put my stuff in Jell-O again! That's real professional. Thanks. This is the third time, and it wasn't funny the first two times either, Jim!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You have to eat it out of there, because there are starving people in the world, and, which I hate, and it it is a waste of that kind of food.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Dwight, I'm sorry, because... I have always been your biggest flan.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You, uh, you should have put him in 'custardy.'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Pudding. Putting. I'm trying to think what other dessert to do.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Do I think I'll be invited to the wedding?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I am going to have to let you go first. What? Why? Well, theft. And stealing.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You steal 1,000 Post-It notes at 50 cents apiece, and, you know, you've made a profit... margin.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "You've been 'Xed,' punk! Surprise! It's a joke! We were joking around! See?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "It was a young Guatemalan guy. First job in the country, barely spoke English. Came to me and said, 'Mr. Scott, would you be the godfather of my child?' Wow. Wow. Wow. Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "Listen, have a nice weekend. Yeah, definitely. You too. Enjoy it.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I never actually talked to corporate about it, they kind of beat me with the punch, those bastards! But I was going to", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "That's the thing, it's a very sturdy paper, and on the back it says: 100% post customer contempt.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "'Retaliation'. Tit for tit.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "That is not the expression. / Well that should be.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "A 6 on 7. / I know, I saw that. / So then why didn't you do it? / I'm saving that, cause I like it when the cards go... / Who doesn't love that?", "c": ["Jim", "Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Oh hey! This is Oscar. / Martinez. / See, I didn't even know, first thing basis.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "You know what? This is a color free zone here. Stanley, I don't look at you as another race.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "What if we go around and everybody, everybody, say a race that you are attracted to sexually, I will go last. Go.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "I have two. White and Indian.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Can we steer away from gay people? I'm sorry it's an orientation, it's not a race. Plus a lot of other racists are also intolerant at gays so, paradox.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "First test, I will not call you that! / Well it's my name it's not a test, ok?", "c": ["Michael", "Mr. Brown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Is it because I'm white, and Chris is black?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Kevin butchering the Chris Rock routine about black people", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Every time, every time black people want to have a good time, some biiiip ass biiiip, I take care of my kids!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "What do you want? Cookie?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "A hero kills people. People that wish him harm. / Ok. / A hero is part human, part supernatural, a hero is born out of a child with trauma, or out of a disaster, that must be avenged.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Ok, you're thinking of a superhero. / We all have a hero in our heart.", "c": ["Mr. Brown", "Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "You know I could sign something that says that I taught something or that I helped you teach something so...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "That's probably throwing you off. / It's not throwing me, I need your signature.", "c": ["Michael", "Mr. Brown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Signed, daffy duck.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "He's gonna lose it when he reads that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Look, the, the guy Mister brown, he got us half way there, he got us talking. Well no, I got us talking.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Where was the heart, I didn't see any heart, where was my Oprah moment?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have you all in tears.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Hey we are not all gonna seat in circle in it so are we? / Get out! / I'm sorry. / No this not a joke, ok?", "c": ["Toby", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Abraham Lincoln once said that if you're a racist I will attack you with the north.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "It was kind of hard to hear. / Uh yes that probably has something to do with the camera work.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Yes, enjoy, absolutely. 'Namaste'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "But what some of you might not know, is that I am also part native American Indian. / What part, native American? / 2/15th / That fraction doesn't make any sense.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Let me ask you is there a term besides Mexican, that you prefer? Something less offensive? / Mexican isn't offensive!", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Jim? / Hello?", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "get it done! Why? Because Martin Luther King is a hero of mine", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Olympics of sufferings right here Slavery versus Holocaust, come on!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Shalom, I'd like to apply for a loan. / That's nice, Dwight.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "OK, I like your food. / Uh, Outback Steakhouse, I'm Australian, mate! / No...", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "you would maybe not be a very good driver. / Aw man, am I a woman?", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "You'll notice, I didn't have anybody being Arab. I thought that would be too explosive, uh, no pun intended. But I just thought, 'too soon' for Arabs. Maybe next year. You know, the ball's in their court.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "You wanna get high? / No. / I think you do, mon.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Welcome to my convenient store. Would you like some gookie cookie? I have some very delicious gookie cookie, only 99 cents plus taxes try my gookie cookie", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "that was great, she gets it now she knows what it's like to be a minority.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "I just hated it when that guy was in here, Mr. brown? If that was his real name!?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "I've brought some burritos, some color greens, some pad thai, love pad thai", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "doesn't really make sense, cause you don't call it colored people that's offensive", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Buena vista Oscar thank you", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Diversity Day"}, {"t": "Pam ! Pamela, Pamelamela Ding Dong ! Making copies.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "I'm not making any copies.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "I give them food. Not directly, but through the money...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Does that make me their doctor?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Yes... In a way... Yeah, like a specialist.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "I think it was you who didn't look closely enough at the 'gold plan'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "I'm not even on that plan. Well I recommend it, it's very good.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "It's not gonna be a popular decision around the old orifice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Yeah, when have you ever done that? I'm doing it, right now. To you.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "No, I have a life. Interesting, what's that like? You should try it sometime. But then who would watch my TV?", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Anytime Michael asks me to do anything I just tell me that Dwight should do it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "If this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "how many people can I fire? None, you're picking a healthcare plan.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Yes, I have an office. Bigger than his! No, you cannot use it.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "In the wild, there is no healthcare. In the wild healthcare is 'How, I hurt my leg... I can't run, a lion eats me, and I'm dead.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Still no one calling.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Uh, knock, please. Please knock, this is an office. It says workspace.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "I don't need them, superior genes. I'm a Schrute... And superior brain power. Through concentration I can raise", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Why would you want to raise your cholesterol? So I can lower it.", "c": ["Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Cuts ? what ? Dwight did you make cuts? Yeah you said go in the... No no no no no.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "They're out there thinking 'Wow ! My boss really cares about me. He has a surprise, he's cool. What a great guy, I love him. I love him.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Couldn't find the knock.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "So let's say that my teeth turn to liquid And then, they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that? I thought you said you were inventing diseases? That's spontaneous 'dentohydroplosion'", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "This is my world, this is improv, this it 'whose line is it anyway'. Damn it ! damn it ! Jim !", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Hot dog fingers. Government created killer nano robot infection", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Killer Nano Robots ? It's an epidemic.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Count Choculitis. Sounds tough.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Let me out or you're fired. No, you can't fire me. Yes I can, I'm manager for the day. Clean out your desk.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Ok, can you hold on one second, I'm getting a bip.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Dwight, listen to me very carefully, you are not a manager of anything. Understand ?", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Hey, temp, why don't you take two. Because you don't get healthcare, and faster metabolism.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Could you mean vagina ? Because if you do I want that covered.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "I thought your vagina was removed during you hysterectomy. A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.", "c": ["Kevin", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Someone has it.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Mork from Ork. Well I'm Bork for Smork. anounanouzoubliblublu", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "We all think you don't have a surprise.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Drum roll.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Health Care"}, {"t": "Assistant to the regional manager Dwight.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words 'you're fired'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "I bring my own water to work.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Actually we don't have any staff birthdays coming up.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Spok, is there any signs of life down there? Well, let me check captain. No captain no signs of life down there. Just a wet blanket, named Pam.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "I think green is kind of whorish.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "These are my party planning biatches", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Did you get your tickets? To what? The gun show.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Then here he comes and he says 'no, Jim, here's a way'.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, Pam.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Meredith I heard you're turning forty-six but come on... You're an accountant, just fudge the numbers", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "They seem awfully chummy. Don't you think?", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "I love their sandwich too. Their bread is very good.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "all convalescences into... Moral.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Jackpot. That was beautiful. All her idea, too. Awesome. She's so great.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "That's when they remove the uterus. Ho, God! Dwight no!", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer. They have very good vision. One thing about me... I'm better at hiding than they are at vision.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "I can breathe just fine, ok? But if it makes you feel better, I'll poke holes in the box.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Can I trust Jim? I don't know. Do I have a choice? No. Frankly I don't. Will I trust Jim? Yes. Should I trust Jim? You tell me.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "You know what if I were allergic to dairy I think I'd kill myself.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "He's in a box? Pam, he's in a BOX.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Money isn't everything Jim. Not the key to happiness. You know what is? Joy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Son of a bitch! That is impressive, good for him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Meredith, good news! You're not actually a year older, Because you work here, where time stand still.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Meredith. Let's hope that the only downsizing that happens to you... Is that someone downsizes your age.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Meredith, Liz Taylor called, she wants her age back and her divorces back", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "She went into an antique store and they kept her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 4.03, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "Well, I don't know that was anonymous. Guess what? That was Michael Scott. But it was anonymous, how do you know? Because I met him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "I told him that he should die his hair, to go undercover.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "What, are you trying to cop a feel or something Halpert?", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "I have absolutely no idea.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "That's politics baby, get what you can out of someone, Then crush them. I think Jim might have learned a very valuable lesson.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "The Alliance"}, {"t": "I'm sinking a few, you know swish swish swish, nothing but net! And their jaws just drop to the floor.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "African Americans!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Here's what I'm going to do. The hand strikes and gives a flower.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Assistant to the regional manager. - Same thing. - No it's not. It's lower so. - It's close.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "God this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Maybe I should sleep with him. I'm kidding. Kidding. Totally kidding.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "This is our warehouse, or as I like to call it, the whorehouse.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "But don't you call it that, I've earned the right.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "And here we have 'Miter' Roger's neighborhood'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Darryl Filben, then Bridges, then Rige, then Roger, then Miter' Rogers.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "You're still getting it regular man? I mean I can tell her it's part of the job.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Repel her.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Pam gets a little down. Her toaster having broke, which she got at her engagement shower, for a wedding that still has yet to be set. And that was three years ago.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Well, I'm glad that sometime is a busy time because whenever I'm down here, it doesn't seem too busy to me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "You can dish it out but you can't take it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Like that dwarf, from 'Lord of the Rings'. - Gimli. - Nerd. - That is why you're not on the team.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Oh ul, I'll ul. Dragon Slayer. Ten point power sword. That's him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Stanley, of course. - I'm sorry? - What do you play, center? - Why of course? What's that supposed to mean?", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "I don't know, I don't remember saying that. - I heard it. - People hear a lot of things, man.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "But I'm getting paid to skip lunch right? Yes. Yes, this is business. The business of team building and moral boosting.", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "I will use your talents come baseball season my friend, or if we box.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "I have sport's bra. No, no! Ridiculous.", "c": ["Meredith", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Threat neutralized.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "You know, some pink tails, little halter top you can tie that up, and you know something a little... just useful for a change, just this once.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Yeah I bet you would, just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, you know, not in a homosexual way at all, I mean, you know, like the bad at sports way.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "I think that goes without saying.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Bless would be those who sit and wait.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Right in your face. Why don't we make it more interesting? Loser buys dinner at Farley's.", "c": ["Michael", "Roy"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "I like the way you think. You know what I'll take that one step further: Loser works on Saturday.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "No, that's not of much fun.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Classic beginners mistaken, eating before game.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "I'm just saying Roy is very competitive, and he wants to take the wave runners to the lake this Saturday, so...", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Well I'm going to the outlet mall on Saturday, so if you want to save big on brand names, and Roy has to work, which he will, because I'm also competitive, you should feel free to come along.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "I think I'll see you at the mall... yeah.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Of course if you beat us, you're fired. That's a joke!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "I stretched before I came.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "So Dwight you have the east German girl.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Ok we'll be skins! - No. Come on Dwight. - What? Shirts on or off? - On! Put it on! - You're sure? - Yes.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Don't listen to him Pam, trust me. Tip it my way or you'll sleep in the car!", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Oh come on, what is wrong with me today? Usually hit those.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "When I'm playing hoops, all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away. It's gone, in the zone. Three! What's with me today? Who am I? Am I Michael Scott? I don't know. I might just be a basketball machine.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "What's Dundler Mifflin? I've never heard of it. Filing, paper works, who cares? Possible downsizing? That's probably going to happen actually.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Is that like the robot?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Football, is like rock'n'roll, it's just... And basketball is like Jazz, you know you kind of... downbeat, it's in the pocket, it's like you...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "What's going on? You guys are playing like a bunch of girls.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Ouch! How much does it hurt?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Game over! That is it. I'm sorry you know. I hate to do it this way, but you know that's just, we're having a friendly game, it's a shame! This is a damn shame! We're like a family here, and that's just, that won't fly.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Great. Now you see who was work on Saturday, your face.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "You guys believed me? Come on... dogs you know, you should know me better than that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "We're coming in Saturday.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Yeah he's pretty good uh?", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Screw corporate! Nobody's coming in tomorrow, you have the day off.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "Like how even an extra day is going to prevent us from being downsized?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "The great thing about sports is that it is all about character. And you can learn lessons about life even if you don't win. But we did, because we were ahead.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Basketball"}, {"t": "why am i getting fired? You're not getting fired. It's redundancy.", "c": ["Gareth", "David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Or one of the lucky ones in my opinion!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Anton's not disabled. - He's a midget. Yeah, but you're not disabled if you're a midget. That's just small.", "c": ["David", "Gareth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Ronnie corbett doesn't get special treatment. He's five foot. Anton's three foot four. So are some children. Children aren't disabled, are they?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Children don't work in warehouses.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "A dwarf has disproportionately short arms and legs. Oh, i know the ones. It's caused by a hormone deficiency. Yeah. Bloody hormones.", "c": ["David", "Gareth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "So what's an elf? Do you want to answer that?", "c": ["Gareth", "David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "An elf is a supernatural being. Sometimes they're invisible, like fairies. They don't actually exist, do they? In real life?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "'It's been imposed upon me!' Yeah. What do you want me to say, i'm sorry? Yeah. I want you to say you're sorry.", "c": ["Gareth", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "So is a pixie the same as an elf? Hold on, gareth. I just want to know how he knows so much about midgets.", "c": ["Gareth", "David"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "It's called an education.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "So what's a goblin? How long will you be?", "c": ["Gareth", "David"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I know i probably seem an imposing figure now - you know, the slick boss - but get to know me, you'll see i'm mad.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "You can all use her - as the actress said to the bishop.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "David, can i just ask why you've hired yourself a new secretary when you're having to fire people like alex? Different people, different jobs.", "c": ["Tim", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "To whit, the answer to the question, is it people or task is - well, you know - people.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Like this person. Kojak. David, what i want to know... kojak we call him.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I'm thinking of other weird-looking bald people. That one on benny hill? Oh, yeah.", "c": ["David", "Gareth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Walk this way. Quack, quack, quack! Always start with a joke.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "You might want to make notes.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I'm not thinking of leaving, i am leaving.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I don't want to put words in your mouth, but what sort of a boss would you say i am? I'm a... good boss, yeah. He said good. No. You're a great boss.", "c": ["David", "Tim", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "it's not because you asked dawn out and she said no? I didn't ask her out. It was as a friend. It was as a friend. Put friend. Put friend down.", "c": ["David", "Tim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "i feel a little bit like i'm wasting my time. That life's too short. Exactly. Thank you.", "c": ["Tim", "David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I've got paper stories that'll crack you up. That's true. Hilarious. Put hilarious.", "c": ["David", "Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I think it was john lennon who said... 'life is what happens when you're making other plans.' Though he also said, 'i am the walrus, i am the eggman', so i don't know what to believe!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "no, you listen to me, 'tim'. When you first came here, you didn't know about the paper industry.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "That he doesn't want! I didn't ask you. You asked me how i felt... i don't want to know now.", "c": ["Karen", "David", "Tim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Don't say out there what you said in here, apart from the good boss.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Don't be like that at the party!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Yeah. I hope they get rid of me Then i might get off my arse and do something.", "c": ["Dawn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I don't think it's many little girls' dream to be a receptionist.", "c": ["Dawn"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "tim says it's better to be at the foot of a ladder you want to climb than halfway up one you don't.", "c": ["Dawn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "wake up in five years and say, 'shit! Done it again.'", "c": ["Dawn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Could you not do that here, mate? Not do that here? I've got to do it, mate. Really. No chance you could throw it in the bin?", "c": ["Tim", "Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Yeah, and i'll take them round to rival companies and hand them out.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Gareth, can you keep it down a bit? Hmm? Can you stop it? Yeah. I'll just do it like this.", "c": ["Tim", "Gareth"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Have you been fired? No. I've been made into a partner.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "They've made you a partner? That'll be wernham hogg taylor clark. They'll have to change the stationery. I think we'll get a discount. 40% sometimes.", "c": ["Jennifer", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Voted for me 5-2? There's only seven on the board. Five out of seven. That's a landslide.", "c": ["David", "Jennifer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "there is the emotion as 'good in business' syndrome, sure, notwithstanding the cruel to be kind scenario...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "You're not looking at the whole pie. Wernham hogg is one big pie and if i'm in charge of that big pie, i'll be in charge of... the people are the fruit.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "What's five out of seven as a percentage? Er... 70%. 71.4.", "c": ["David", "Jennifer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "You don't need luck when you've got 71% of the population behind you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "well, there's good news and bad news. The bad news is neil will be taking over both branches and some of you will lose your jobs.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "On a more positive note, the good news is i've been promoted. So... every cloud...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "You're still thinking about the bad news. There's no good news. It's bad news and irrelevant news.", "c": ["David", "Tim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "That's not a phrase though. 'I've got bad news and irrelevant news.' You could have told us about neil and kept your promotion to yourself.", "c": ["David", "Tim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "We're going to lose our jobs! You're not all going to. God! Just... you're not going to lose your job. You're not going to. You know... you're not going to.", "c": ["Staff", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I can't believe it. After all the things he said, it's just... i'm in shock. Sold us out. Wanker.", "c": ["Staff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "No. I'll be getting a proper assistant - a p.a. A lady? Hopefully, yeah. Not 'cause of that, just...", "c": ["David", "Gareth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Territorial? No. Regular? Yeah. What rank? Sergeant, i think. What are you? Lieutenant, sir.", "c": ["Gareth", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "You're a soldier. Yeah? Eh? Yeah? Stiff upper lip and all that, eh? Spirit of the dambusters. Yeah? The squadron never dies, does it?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Before he goes into battle, he's playing with his dog. Nigger. That's not offensive. That's the dog's name. It's the '40s, before racism was bad.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "The dog was called nigger. Don't keep saying it.", "c": ["David", "Gareth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Take anything you want. To keep? Yup. I'll have the guitar. Not the guitar. I meant stationery. Something i can re-order.", "c": ["David", "Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Like confetti. Could be used as confetti, yeah. Check with the vicar first, always.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I'm not doing this for an esther rantzen heart of gold, or if esther's handing out awards, then do it for my charity work. Five fun runs in two years.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "that's the most profound thing you've ever said. You do that and foreigners, women or the disabled take advantage of it. Can i withdraw my last comment?", "c": ["Tim", "Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "You think you're so... just 'cause you got a bit of donna, and i played by the rules 'cause she was out of bounds. You sneaked in. I'd have got a bit if i'd known it was up for grabs.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I'd have done her, but that would be shitting on your own doorstep. Anyway, i don't do sloppy seconds.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "It's phrases like sloppy seconds which make her out of your league.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "i told them to shove their job up their arses! So you're staying here? Yes. We all are.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "hip hip hooray for david brent! Hip hip... stop it. Seriously. Move on. Let's move on.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Did you ask my girlfriend out? Eh? No. You hit on someone's girlfriend? No. I can't let that go. No. Listen... we've got a problem.", "c": ["Lee", "Tim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "It was just a soldier to cry on. A soldier? Shoulder. A soldier? Are you bent or something?", "c": ["Tim", "Lee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Is this a wind-up? Yeah. Sorry, mate. Don't do that, man! Having a laugh. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Lee", "Tim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "that's the thing about leadership. Sometimes you sacrifice yourself.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I'd believe that if he hadn't jumped on top of you. Actually, i was on top! All right.", "c": ["David", "Dawn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "And they probably did oral.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Ask yourself why i got high blood pressure on the day of the medical. Are you saying you cheated science and faked high blood pressure so you could remain in the job?", "c": ["David", "Tim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "What's worse - cheating medical science or cheating friends?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "for all your mole knows, they may or may not have said that to me. They may or may not have.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "David's made me senior sales clerk. Wow. Um... i thought you wanted to be a psychologist. Oh, yeah. But senior sales clerk is... well, it's 500 quid guaranteed extra a year.", "c": ["Tim", "Dawn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "no. Moving up. Yeah? Moving up. Moving up can mean within an internal ladder, framework, or sideways to external, then up. You've got to look at the whole pie vis-\u00e0-vis my current life situation.", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "Vis-\u00e0...? Pie...?", "c": ["Dawn"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "The only thing that makes that crazy ride worthwhile is 'did i enjoy it? What was the point?' that's where i come in.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "I do it so one day, someone will go, 'there goes david brent. I must remember to thank him.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Hot Girl"}, {"t": "like Meredith or Kevin. I mean, who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin Donuts?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Neighbor's hanged himself, due to lack of recognition.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "It's fat Halpert", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Oh I can't, because I keep them hidden, I don't wanna look at them and get cocky.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "And mine are at home, in a display case above my bed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "TMI, TMI my friend. TMI? Too Much Information. It's just easier to say TMI. I used to say 'Don't Go There' but that's lame.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "I don't know where they are, I think I threw them out. - Oh, no you didn't. - I think I did.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "To Oscar Martinez, It's the 'Show Me The Money' award!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "A little bit of Pam, all night long. A little bit of Angela, on the sing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "This is the part where Kevin stands in front of the camcorder all night. It's great.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "That was just something that was written on the ladies room wall.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Will her highness Jan Levinson Gould be descending from her corporate throne this evening to visit us lowly serfs here, Dunder Mifflin Scranton?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Well, you could take the bus, you could work on the way here, sleep on the way home.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "You're dropping an A-bomb on me here! - Really? I'm dropping an atomic bomb on you.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "No reasons? It was the 05-05-05 party! - It happens once every billion years!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Ok, no that was a fun raiser, I think I made that very clear on the flyers. Fun, F-U-N.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "It's a little character I like to do. It is loosely based on Karnack, one of Carson's classic characters.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "We got... the PLO, the IRA and the hot-dogs stand behind the warehouse. Name 3 businesses that have better healthcare plans than Dunder Mifflin.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Here's the problem: There is no open bar because of Jan, and it's the reason why comedy clubs have a 2-drink minimum.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Dwight get out of here what are you doing in the ladies room...? - You are a pervert!", "c": ["Multiple", "Angela"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "The Dundee award, for longest engagement, goes to Pam Beesly... When will that girl gonna be married? That's what I have to say", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "We'll see you next year! - Yeah! Oh nuts! Oh gosh!", "c": ["Roy", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "That's why it's funny, every year that Roy and Pam don't get married it gets funnier!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Having a bathroom is a privilege, it is called a ladies-room for a reason, and if you cannot behave like ladies, well then you are not going to have a bathroom.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "We are going to have 2 men rooms.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Don't don't talk don't touch stop it oddment!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "how there is no money, and how there is no food, and how the jokes are really bad.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Keep your acceptance speeches short, I have wrap it up music and I'm not afraid to use it, Devin.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "The Dundies are kind of like a kid's birthday party, and you go, and there's really nothing for you to do there, but the kid's having a really good time, so, you're kind of there. That's kind of what it's like.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "please, please, do not drink and drive, because you may hit a bump, and spill the drink.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "I did, and why didn't you Stanley? - I did, my wife's name is Terry. - Well, I'm looking forward to meeting Terry. - It's this person whose hand I'm holding Michael.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "I was out on a very very hot date last night with a girl from HR Dwight. - Really? We don't have any girls from HR. - I know that, for the sake of the story.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "When she had me fill out six hours worth of paper work. - Like an AIDS test? - No... god.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "This says bushiest beaver. - What? I told them busiest... idiots!", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Herro everybodeeee.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 3.1, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Ryan the temp!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "What am I going to do with the award? Nothing, I don't know what I'm gonna do. That's the least of my concerns right now.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "The Tight Ass award goes to Angela, not only because she is everybody's favorite stickler, but because she has a great caboose!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "I think those might be empty. - No, no 'cause the ice melts, and then it's like second drink!", "c": ["Someone", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Spicy curry, what's that mean? - Not everything means something, this is a joke. - Yeah, but why did you give it to me? - This is a bowler! - I know! They didn't have any businessmen so...", "c": ["Kelly", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "I got Dwight, sucking the funny out of room", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "We has came from your mama's house.", "c": ["Heckler"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "this is the 'don't go in there after me' award, it's for the time that I went to the bathroom after him and it was really, really smelly", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Well, last year I got great work, so I don't know... I don't know what to think about this award", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "It is the whitest sneakers award, because she always has the whitest tennis shoes on!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Ok, first off, my Keds, because I couldn't have done it without them, thank you.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Finally I want to thank God, because God gave me this Dundee, and I feel God in this Chili's tonight.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.78, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "And we heard Michael change the lyrics to a number of classic songs, which for me, has ruined them for life!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "So I killed, almost!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Oh my god! I just wanna say that this was the best Dundies ever!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Apparently this young woman was sneaking drinks off other people's tables.", "c": ["Restaurant manager"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "I feel bad about what I wrote on the bathroom wall. - No you don't.", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "I just wanted to say thanks. - That's not really a question.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "Yes that too but I mean with the audio, great work!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Dundies"}, {"t": "50 signs your priest might be Michael Jackson", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "I am king of forwards", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "We're like Friends. I am Chandler. And Joey. And, uh, Pam is Rachel. And Dwight is Kramer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "So the monkey does the sex thing right... here! That's funny! That's funny. Not offensive. Because it's nature, educational.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom? This guy!", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 3.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Ryan's deadpan reaction to Michael's crude joke", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "What's up, Halpert? Still queer?", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.72, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Todd Packer and I are total BFF. Best friends forever.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Packer told them that we were brothers. And so, you know, one thing led to another. And we brought 'em back to the motel. And then Packer did both of them.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "It was awesome.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "We're talking 'blonde incompetent,' right? Like, uh, ten words a minute. Talking.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "They are women, right? Oh, wow! I didn't say it! I didn't say it! I said it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Hey, what has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "That Todd Packer can do anything. Except pass that breathalyzer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "You a big William Hung fan? Why does everybody ask me that? Who the hell is that?", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "As a child did Pam show any traits that would hint towards her future career as a receptionist?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "I'm going to forward it like it's hot. Yes! Old school.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate. So he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "But you are going to have a mutiny on your hands. And I just can't wait to see how you handle it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "A guy goes to a five dollar... lady of the night. And he gets crabs. So the next day, he goes back to complain. And the woman says, 'Hey, it was only five dollars. What did you expect, lobster?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.73, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "This is what's at stake.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Where did you get 'em, like, Queers 'R' Us? Boys 'R' Us.", "c": ["Darryl", "Warehouse worker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.17, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "We can see all your business coming around the corner. Good thing you don't have a lot of business to start with.", "c": ["Warehouse workers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "He get it from his mama!", "c": ["Warehouse worker"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.0, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Mmmmilf.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Let's just act every day like Pam's mom is coming in.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "That is my daughter. She goes to Catholic girl's school. I'm taking it down right now.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "She wasn't that hot. Yes, she was. Dammit, Kevin!", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Put on a shirt! I told you that you'd be on camera. I'm sorry, she's European.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Pam, you will be girl A. And girl B will be... Okay, we'll use the doll.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "That's what she said... That's what she said... No, but... okay.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Where is the clitoris?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Technically, I am in human resources. And Dwight was asking about human anatomy. I'm just sad the public school system failed him so badly.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "I banged this girl right here. Yes, this is the one. You banged her? Right here. You are a naughty girl.", "c": ["Michael", "Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "The girl in the video we're watching that corporate gave us. Darryl banged her! And... He's about 90% sure.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "You wouldn't arrest a guy who's just delivering drugs from one guy to another.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "And you can consider this my retirement from comedy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so... That's what she said!", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "You would have done the same. You just didn't think of it first.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "So I'm not in trouble? I am so used to being the bad boy. I am so used to fighting corporate that I forget that I am corporate.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Mo' money, mo' problems.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "She goes, 'Oh, my God. That's incredible. Where are we going?' He goes, 'I don't know where you're going, just be out of here by five.' Boom!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Like a grandmother. I'm the same age as you, Michael. We're the same high school class.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Well, I have a late birthday and usually September is a cut off point...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "Come here. Give me a kiss. Michael, come on, you don't have to worry. I'm not gonna... I'm not worried. Report you to HR. You know what? The only thing I am worried about is getting a boner.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "And at some point, the daddy can't take a bath with the kids anymore. I am upper management. And it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam. As much as I might want to.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Sexual Harassment"}, {"t": "I'm an early bird, and I'm a night owl, so I'm wise, and I have worms.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "So... oh breakfast I got your sausage, egg and cheese biscuit. Yummy yummy ! thank you Ryan.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "The sausage, egg and cheese biscuit. But thank you, and why don't you just take a couple hours, office is yours, home alone, risky business. Take your pants off, run around. Whatever you wanna do ? I'm just gonna take a nap in my car until work starts.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Healtheir, gotta watch those carbs.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Back in olden days, they would not even let you vote, unless you own a property and they threw you in the stacks, and then humiliate you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. I think today it was the expense reports that did him in. And our deal is, that it's up to me to revive him.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "You see Dwight's coffee mug ? Sometimes when he's not here, I try to throw stuff in it.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Let's do this ! Here, try paper-clips.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "I have been Michael's number 2 guy for about five years, and we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams, he's like Mozart and I'm like, Mozart's friend. No, I'm like Butch Cassidy, and Michael is like Mozart.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Ah, most honorable Pamera not offensive because that's the way they talk in movies.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "I changed your Cracked magazine subscription.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "No ? Ok well could you get on that ? cause I don't just read Cracked.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Dwight it's 50\u00b0 outside don't, please - But then no one could see us. I... just... would you... put it up ? Ok, fine. Just leave it down. whiner !", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Check it out. I'm terminator.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Kevin and I play this paper football game when Michael's out. Really ? Or when we are bored. Oh my god ! Wait this goes back 2 years ! We are bored a lot.", "c": ["Oscar", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Yeah, we call it Hate Ball. Why ? Because of how much Angela hates it.", "c": ["Kevin", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "You play that. You should ask Toby to teach you Dunder Ball.", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Someday I can just see my grandkids learning how to walk out here. Hang on and swing from this tree, pushing back... Wait, no it's this one, right here.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "So that's what this sound is all day !", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Hey how are you ? Nice to meet you Bill. Bill, mister Bill, oh noooooo, mister Bill, oooooooh. S&L ? When they pull him apart.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "This is smaller than your old place. Yes, well I'm buying it and I'm not renting it. So it's still an upgrade.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Sometimes teenagers use it for sex.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Stanley, I just played Dunder Ball with Toby, What about you ? You got any games ? Yeah, I got a game, it's called work hard so my kids can go to college.", "c": ["Jim", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "I am going to put a surround sound system, I am going to put a plasma screen right against this wall... owww terrible idea", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Oh man, these babies are thin !", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "This scented candle, which I found in the men's bathroom, represents the eternal... burning of competition... or something. It smells like cookies.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Now the bronze are really blue, and they're also the backside of the gold, so no flipping ok ? honor system.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "I do play games, I sing, and I dangle things in front of my cats. I play lots of games, just not at work.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "10 year fixed, over 30, 30 year total - Ow 30 years ! - Ok, ok. Wow you'll be paying this off in your mid-seventies.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Hey look cool ! carpenter ends.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "A 30 year mortgage at Michael's age, essentially means that he's buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls, so you couldn't hear other dead people.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Jim, they refer to it as Flonkerton, in English 'box of papers snowshoe racing.'", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "The thing about Jim is, when he's excited about something like the office Olympics, he gets really into it and he does a really great job, but the problem with Jim is that he works here so that hardly ever happens.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Where are all the hot people ? I was told that there would be all these attractive singles, Who told you that ? And as far as I can I tell, I'm the best looking person here.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "There's a basic principle, in real estate, that you should never be the best looking person in the development. It's sort of a common sense, because if you are, then you'll get no place to go but down.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "I made the right decision. I'm glad I signed, I'm a home-owner, right ? Good to be a home-owner, diversifying, this is good.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "It's Phyllis ! Phyllis by a nose gold-medal in flunenton, flunkerton ! Thank you ! Delegate from Iceland.", "c": ["Jim", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "And that is why I am going to let you move in to my third bedroom, and pay me rent.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Why did I do it ? Because I believe in rewarding people for their efforts, I rewarded Dwight with the room, and he is rewarding me back with 500 $ plus utilities.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "What the hell is a terrarium ? It's a fish tank for snakes and lizards. Oh, so an aquarium.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "I call it Pam-Pong, I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk and goes to reception to talk to you. We're friends. Apparently.", "c": ["Angela", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Are you calling me a ho ? Oh my god, Phyllis coming alive, I like it.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Thank god ! It was nice of him to offer, but I live in a nine bedroom farmhouse. I have my own crossbow range, it's a perfect situation for me.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "And it's under the porch.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Yeah, well you know what nobody cares about your stupid beet farm. Beets are the worst ! People loved beets ! Nobody likes beets. Everyone loves beets. Nobody likes beets Dwight.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "You should grow candy. I'd love a piece of candy right now, not a beet.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "What is going on ? Nothing. Guys, time is still going, or... That's my stopwatch.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "I figured I could throw it away now, or I could keep it, for a couple of months and then throw it away. I mean it was really nice at Pam to make them, but... what am I gonna do with a gold medal made of paperclips and an old yogurt lid ?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Congratulations to Michael, because he closed on his condo, so gold medal !", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "I don't really know what to say, I'm not one for making speeches, but... My heart is very full at this moment.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Silver medal. Yep, but not as good as gold !", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "Why are you playing the national hymn ? Cause your condo is in America. Oh.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "What the hell is that ? Those are the doves.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Office Olympics"}, {"t": "- That's your... that's an earring. - Whatever. Get over it.", "c": ["Gareth", "other character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- It's bleeding. - Really stings. - Is it an old one that...? - Yeah. I had to push really hard. - They heal over. - It had healed over. So i opened a sore...", "c": ["Gareth", "other character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- what are you looking at? - Nothing.", "c": ["Gareth", "other character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- I'm doing one tonight. I'm getting quite a bit of money for it. \u00a3300. - So i need someone just to carry my bag and organise... - i'm not... - \u00a3100 for an hour's work. - \u00a3100 for an hour? That is a lot. - 80. - You said 100. - 90. - You said 100. - All right. Get there early, then.", "c": ["David", "Dawn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "\"If it's in you, i'll find it.\" That's actually what i do. I just point out what you've already got. I'm like a spiritual guide.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "The reason i put \"If\" it's in you is if i waste time and money looking for it and i can see it's not in you, i don't want to be sued because you haven't got it. You're not going to get me on that.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "I can't believe a bird fancies you over me. He's a weird little bloke. Look at his hair. He looks like a fisher price man. His rubbish clothes.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "There must be something wrong with you, but i'd still do you, so i'm confused.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "Hand job? Don't answer. Think about it.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- Do i look like a fisher price man? - Yeah! Don't say yeah.", "c": ["Tim", "other character"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- Hi, dawn. - Hi. - Your favourite computer geek is here. - Jesus!", "c": ["Dawn", "Simon"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- How long will it take? - Why? - Out of interest. - It will take as long as it takes. - How long did it take last time...? - It's done.", "c": ["Jim", "Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "When it comes back on it'll ask you to hit yes, no or cancel. Hit cancel. Do not hit yes or no. - Right. - Did you hear what i said? - Yup. - What did i say? - Hit cancel.", "c": ["Simon", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "It's like bloody \"dead poet's society\" when they all stand on the tables... i wouldn't want them on the tables - it's against health and safety.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "\"Are you going to pay me for it?\" \"Yes. Lots.\" not why i do it, but thank you.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "I went down there when it opened. I did a couple of laps, pulled over. The owner said, \"no professionals.\" I said, \"i'm not a professional.\" He said, \"you're not a professional? You should be. Take up formula one. You'll be the best in the country.\" I said, \"i'm not interested. I'm making shitloads in computers.\"", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "I was doing it once, bombing it round and some idiot had left a ramp thing out. People were going, \"if that guy hits that ramp at that speed, he's definitely dead.\" I hit the ramp, turned over in the air. They were going, \"he's definitely dead.\" Landed on my wheels and pulled over.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- I'm tired of this fuzzy thinking. - Chill out. Don't have a cow, mate.", "c": ["Neil", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "Those cats were fast as lightning.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- You said you saw him fight norris in \"enter the dragon\". He fights bob wall in both, but norris is only in \"way of the dragon.\" - So he's fighting norris... - in what? - \"Way of the dragon.\" - Correct.", "c": ["Tim", "Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "It's in a book. He faked his own death to work undercover for the hong kong police infiltrating the triads.", "c": ["Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "Yeah, because if you wanted to send someone undercover, you'd want the world's most famous chinese film star!", "c": ["Tim"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "He's done well there. - What do you mean? - She's tasty. She's nice. - You don't know her. - She's very attractive. She's not very attractive.", "c": ["Lee", "Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- Say your name. - Leroy. - Who's leroy? - The coloured fellow off \"fame\". - Use your own name. - Gareth.", "c": ["David", "Gareth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- People are laughing at your heels. - I'm not going to wear those shoes! - And the earring? - They're having a go at that? What else?", "c": ["Gareth", "David"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- They've given you a nickname. - The swindon lot? - Everyone's using it. - What is it? - I don't really... - what is it? - Bluto. - The villain from popeye? - 'Cause of the beard? - Because he's... - what's that?", "c": ["Gareth", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "But if there's one thing i don't like, it's nicknames. Because nicknames are bad... names.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- you used to call malcolm \"kojak\". - That was affectionate. - He was a great detective. - Maybe \"mr toad\" is affectionate.", "c": ["other character", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "body fascism that is. The toad is the ugliest of all the amphibians.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "Why don't we call him fatty fatty toad boy? At least start on him and then move on...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "He fears my methods because he doesn't understand them. Human nature, but relax.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "- It's all up there. - It's not all up there, is it? - Most of it is.", "c": ["David", "Neil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "What is \"better?\" on a graph of people versus task, where does the line go? Where i say.", "c": ["David", "Neil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "I'm performing as i want to. It's a good performance. Let's agree to disagree. - No. Let's agree that you agree with me.", "c": ["David", "Neil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "It's not a date. I'm paying her. What sort of date is that? And \u00a3100. what would i get for that? Not that i would. Everything, i imagine. I'm not imagining any of it, but i do know... i'm just...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "Well, partially decriminalised now anyway, isn't it? At last. - Go for it. - Ok. - Is it skunk? - Just weed. You want a taste? - You sure? - Yeah. I'm on a diet. When i get wasted, i go to munchie-city, so...", "c": ["David", "other speakers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "i'm mad enough without the gear as well. I'll take a rain check. Catch you later. - Yeah. - Chill.", "c": ["David", "other speakers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "Get out. Go on. I've opened the door for you. If you're not going to make it, go now. Yeah? Save us all a bit of time. If you don't think you can cut it. No? Good.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "\"Oi, brent! Is all you care about chasing the yankee dollar?\"", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "Foreword by duncan goodhew. So...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "I'm 39... i'm in my 30s. But so what? At least i've got my health.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "If you've got one leg, at least you haven't got two legs missing. If you have lost both legs and both arms, just go, \"at least i'm not dead!\" I'd rather be dead in that situation, to be honest.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "I'm not saying people like that should be put down. I'm saying that in my life, i'd rather not live without arms and legs because... i'm just getting into yoga, for one thing.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "Let's try that. Who-hoo-hoo. Just... trust me, you'll feel...", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "She used to eat chalk.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "I am now going to make like a banana and split!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "# you're better than all the rest # better than anyone listen to her. # Anyone i've ever met come on. Get into it. # I'm stuck on your heart", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "I'll let you into a little secret - i was worried whether i still had it. I'll let you judge. High five.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "That was me on a seven. Wait till you see me on a nine or ten!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "Yeah? Never mind pizza express, what about beer express? \"Next stop, drunkenness!\"", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "The three musketeers! Oh, I can't. What? There's something I've got to do.", "c": ["David", "Dawn"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Motivation"}, {"t": "It's the end of the month, and I was supposed to let somebody go by the end of the month. And somehow I'm supposed to put on a costume and smile.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "If you were getting fired, how would you wanna be told so that you could still be friends with the person firing you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Wish I could fire Sherri. Hey, I'm still here.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "These are people's lives you're talking about.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Why did you put it off until Halloween? Because it's very scary stuff.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "So it's a man? No. Or a woman. A human life.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "And sometimes you just let it go to voice mail.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "I'm a three-hole punch version of Jim. 'Cause he can have me either way. Plain white Jim, or three-hole punch.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "I am a Sith Lord.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Three round pieces of paper taped to his shirt. This cost me $129.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Ass.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Bet you wish you wore a dress every day. What are you implying?", "c": ["Todd Packer", "character in costume"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "I'm gonna need you to find 50 grand in the numbers. But we don't keep two cents... Just, you know, find it.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Pretend that your jobs depend on it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Soccer ball and cleats. Why is that? Bend It Like Beckham.", "c": ["Michael", "Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Well, I don't really have two heads, so. Wait, what are you again? Oh, right. Three-hole punch!", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "A doglike obedience to authority.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "We're really interested most in jobs that take Dwight out of state. Um, preferably Alaska. Or India.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "He's a gun nut. Sticks to his guns.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Jim, definitely. No, Jim brings in money.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Although it does make sense to fire the least popular, because it has the least effect on morale.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "You're right. I didn't even think of him. No, Michael. Yeah, that's actually a really good idea.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Tell him not Dwight. I'm not saying that's what he said. Tell him to stop. Quiet you. Make him be quiet.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "I made brownies. And I made cookies. Same category.", "c": ["Angela", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "I'm guessing Angela's the one in the neighborhood who gives the trick-or-treaters some toothbrushes. Pennies. Walnuts.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Yes, I am regional manager of this orifice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "You hire Dwight K. Schrute, and he does not meet, nay, exceed every one of your wildest expectations, well, then you can hold me, Michael Gary Scott, personally and financially responsible.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Stanley, could you come with me, please. No.", "c": ["Dwight", "Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "You're fired. Get your fingers off my phone.", "c": ["Dwight", "Stanley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Oh, excuse me. I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Well, you know what? You can go to hell too. And I will see you there... burning.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "It's in Maryland. Yeah. But, I mean, look at the salary.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Out of loyalty to this company... Oh, you idiot.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "If you left, I wouldn't have to fire anybody. But then you wouldn't have me here. Big deal.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "I think he keeps hoping that someone's going to volunteer. Uh, or be run over by a bus before the deadline.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "I'm going to kill myself! And it's your fault!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Michael Scott here. I'm gonna kill you for firing me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Let's fight it. Let's call Jan, and fight this thing together like the old days. What old days?", "c": ["Creed", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot the deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Fire Devon, he's terrible. I am so much better at my job than Devon.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "You will be my savior. You're the guy who gave me my life back.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Devon's terrible. No one's gonna miss him.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "You gotta go with you gut, man. Well... No, I can't... No. I can't go back. I would look like an idiot.", "c": ["Devon", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "In addition to severance, and everything, I want to give you this gift certificate to Chili's. From me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Kevin, Jim, Pam, Kelly, Toby, Oscar, Meredith, Phyllis, Stanley, or the temp. If any of you wanna meet me for a drink, I'm gonna be at Poor Richard's. And the rest of you can go to hell.", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Seriously, if you left here, I would blow my brains out.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "That's just a figure of speech, you know? All it really means is that we're friends.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "I mean, if she left I wouldn't blow my brains out. Of course, I would take that job in Maryland. Because it's double the pay, and soft shell crab just happens to be my favorite food.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Last Halloween, I came as Janet Jackson's boob. It was topical.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "The year before that, I came as Monica Lewinsky. And I wore a stained dress. The year before that, I also came as Monica Lewinsky.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "You know what? You guys are getting all of these. Grab it, grab it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Halloween"}, {"t": "Where is my desk?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Okay, well, you're the one who lost the desk. / I didn't lose my desk", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Where was the last place you saw it?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I think you should retrace your steps.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Colder. Warmer. Little warmer...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Jim, I've given you this information like 20 times. / I know.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Wash your hands Kevin.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Hello, it's sempai. / Was that you mom? / No. That was my sensei. / Thought it was your mom.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Arigato goazai mashta. Hai.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I am now sempai, which is assistant sensei. / Assistant to the sensei, that's pretty cool. / Assistant sensei.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Not that a lot of people here in America know what a sempai is. But it's equally as respected as a sensei.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Michael tends to procrastinate... a bit whenever he has to do work.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "But once a year, it all falls on the same Friday. And that's today. I call it the perfect storm.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "'I don't want to work,' 'I just want to bang on this mug all day.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Here's the bizzle. I have a very top secret mission for you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Why is that secret? / Hello. Oh, God. Busy work. Ah, get away, get away. Cretin.", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Shalax, Pam. Stop Pam-MSing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "What if there's a tornado, Pam? People's legs are crushed under rubble. Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife? No I can't. Because we don't have any emergency contact information.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Because Pam said it wasn't a priority. Think. Think with your head Pam.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "That's the problem with being a boss, is that when you are tough, they resent you, and when you are cool, they walk all over you. / Catch-22. / Catch-22, yes.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "This is Michael Jackson, calling from Wonderland. / You mean Neverland? / This is Tito.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Your major and minor lines cross at a ridge. / That sucks. / You're making this up as you go along, aren't you?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Well, at least I don't have cavities. / Yes, you have very nice teeth. / Thanks.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "This is Mike Tyson.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "As sempai, do you ever think there's gonna be a day, where humans and robots can peacefully coexist? / Impossible. The way they're programmed... / You're mocking me.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "That's not advice. What advice sounds like is this. Don't ever bring your purple belt to work, because someone might... steal it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Okay, give that back to me. / Okay, say please. / No, that is not a toy. / Please. / Please? / Good. And it absolutely is a toy.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "This is not a toy. This is a message, for the entire office. So that everyone could see that I am capable of physically dominating them.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "And this is more of a ying yang thing. The Michael is all cursive, Scott all caps. Left brain, right brain. Or duality of man.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "No women or children, unless provoked. / Okay, Roy. / Warehouse guy. Doesn't count.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Michael. Could you beat up Michael? / Yeah, I don't think that would happen. / Cause we're friends. / Because I would kick his ass.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "So? I've beat up black belts. Yeah. / How'd you know they were black belts? / They told me, after.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I used to run with a very tough crowd, street fighter types. Real, real bad people. I'm just lucky I got out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "When you're a jet, your're a jet all the way, right? / You're a jet?", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Oh Michael! Sleeper hold. Bedtime for vato. / Stop it. / You are, the weakest link!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "But sometimes your best friends, start coming in to work late and, start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Oh, queer! Eye, Queer Eye. That's a good show. Important show.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Well, that would be kind of worthless, because I know a ton of 14 years old girls who could kick his ass. / You know a ton of 14-year-old girls?", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "When we rented Armageddon... he cried at the end of it. / No... / That was because it was New Year's Eve, and it started to snow at exactly midnight.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "'Oh, Bruce Willis, they're going to leave him on the asteroid.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Did I want to harm Michael, the one man I've been hired to protect? No, I did not.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather, was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. Killed 20 men, then spent the rest of the war in an allied prison camp.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I'll buy you a bag of chips. / Why are you twisting around? / French onion? / Obviously.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Nice.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. He's just not tough enough. / He's a purple belt. That's really high. / I could beat up Dwight. That's ridiculous. I can murder him.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Watch out Kelly, might sucker punch you. / I didn't sucker punch you Michael. / No, really? In case you didn't remember, I was defending my honor. Like samoura\u00ef.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Okay, fine, tit for tit.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "If we were in a bar, right now, there would be two punches. Me punching you and you hitting the floor. / No, I'd block your first punch, rending ineffective.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "You know what? I have an idea, why don't you just leave right now? Why don't you walk away from the room, okay?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "The Albany branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing. But Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour... so that we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I recognize that. That is Japanese for California roll. / No it's not. / I think it is, a guy told me about that.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Actually, it's a symbol for eternal discipline. / Wow, that is really interesting.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "After a clean strike to the chest, stomach, or kidneys, I will separate you and award a point. First person to three wins, alright? / Yes, sensei! / Lot of rules. Lot of rules. On the street, we didn't have any rules. Maybe one, no kicks to the groin, home for dinner.", "c": ["Sensei", "Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Okay, purple belt. / Okay, I got it. / No. / I got his pants. / That was my pants. / No points for pants.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight", "Sensei"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Clean technique gentlemen. / Come on. Do that again. Do that again. I dare you.", "c": ["Sensei", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "One point. Two points. Three points. / I said break. / How many points now? / I win, I win. / No, you didn't. / Eight points, nine points.", "c": ["Michael", "Sensei"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "You talkin' to me?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Raging Bull, Pacino.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Hi, Ryan. This is Saddam Hussein. / Next message. / Hey Ryan, this is your girlfriend. And I'm mad.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "My emergency contact is Todd Packer. Todd F. Packer. / You know what the F stands for? / Fudge?", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Just put... The hospital. / Contact number: Just put 911.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "You know what, do yourself a favor. Just leave me as his contact. And I will call the hospital. Cut out the middleman.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Well, if you do anything crazy, give me a shout. / Yeah. Alright, I will, see you Monday.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Let's gang bang this thing and go home.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I have been testing you the entire day. Did you know that? / Of course.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "So, effective immediately, I am promoting you, from assistant to the regional manager to assistant regional manager.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "So I guess this'll just by my office. / No. No. Title change only.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Three month probationary period. Let's just not tell anybody about this right now. / Just a formality? / Absolutely. But not really.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I have so much, to learn, from you. / Yes you do. / Thank you. Sensei.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "I told Dwight that there is honor in losing. Which as we all know is completely ridiculous. But, there is, however, honor in making a loser feel better. Which is what I just did for Dwight.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.75, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "And I think I proved that today at the dojo.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Fight"}, {"t": "Who dry-cleans jeans?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "He gets in them, and I'm not exactly sure what happens, but I can tell you he loves the way he looks in those jeans.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "I know that's why he started Casual Fridays.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Looks like USA Today.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "And I could work here for years. And years.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Chili's is the new golf course. It's where business happens.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "It will. I sent it in. Letter to the editor.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Power trip.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "the game ended and they forgot about me", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Not Roy. Say it's not your fianc\u00e9.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "I always knew Pam has refused to go to sports games with Roy, but I never knew why. Interesting.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "burning the midnight tequila", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Actually, they just don't get very much work done when I'm not here.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "The same amount of work is done, whether I'm here or not.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Follow it blindly.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Boy, you really don't know Scranton, do you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn't moving, you might think she was dead.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "And... No Gould?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Is Gould dead?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Do you want to talk about it?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Awesome Blossom? I think we should share an Awesome Blossom.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Extra awesome.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "told it, not as good as you think. Pick another one.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "That is hysterical.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Agent Michael Scarn. Of the FBI.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "In case the writing didn't really put a picture in your head.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "I'm a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "I almost had Awesome Blossom coming out of my nose!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Do you want to play the lead role of Agent Michael Scarn?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Did somebody say, 'baby back ribs'?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back", "c": ["Michael", "Christian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Not in a thousand years, Catherine, we work together. And get off my desk.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "They had too many kids, so they made up roles like that.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Thank you for noticing.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Agent Michael Scarn, you so funny. Word.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Two thumbs down.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Wait, who's Dwigt?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Michael changed it to Samuel L. Chang using a search and replace. But that doesn't work on misspelled words, leaving behind one 'Dwigt.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "D-W-I-G-H-T.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Truth or dare. Tell us about your divorce.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "You said, 'World, this is my blood, it's red, just like yours. So love me.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "I had plans to meet a friend tonight, which I had to cancel. But this is cool, too. I'm not a complainer.", "c": ["Christian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "bugs love my famous grilled cheese sandwich", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "you have to meet me halfway, okay, because they're expecting me to make cuts", "c": ["Christian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "I am really thrilled.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Going to the go-go.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "I should check the accident reports.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "A gentleman does not kiss and tell. And neither do I.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "No Gould.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "She is a strong, soft, thoughtful, sexy woman.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Jan, I defend your honor.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Could it be that Agent Michael Scarn has finally found his Catherine Zeta?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "do I do it as the man? Does she do it as my superior?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "To the camera? No.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "if it was a mistake, it was a wonderful mistake", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "This is just the first of many fights we're going to have.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Dinner and a show, if you include Michael's movie.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "At least I didn't leave you at a high school hockey game.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "It's not really a date if the girl goes home to her fianc\u00e9. Right?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "It is a fitness orb. And it has completely changed my life", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Done.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "More enjoyable sex. You are not having sex.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Plus, improves your reflexes. See, I would've caught that.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "And it ended with him telling me he could bench press 190 pounds.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Pam, you're trustworthy. And a woman. - Thank you. Oh no.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Just off the top, I think she'll be here this afternoon.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Well, no Gould. The Gould has been. Divorce", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "The vulnerable devorcee gives herself to the understanding with rugged good looks office manager.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "We both didn't, I didn't want, we both didn't want it to continue.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "When people say it, something's mutual, it never is. But this was mutual.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "So she misses me. She missed you.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Tell Michael that we should be stocking more of the double tabbed manila file folders. We don't have double tabbed manila file folders. - Oh yes we do. - No we don't. Yeah, it's a new product.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "I'm gonna actually be asking for a pay decrease. That is so stupid. What if he gives it to you? Then I win.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "I need to stay focused. And I don't have to see you tomorrow or Sunday. please don't call me and we'll see how things go on Monday.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Wait, wait, one thing. By tomorrow, you mean Saturday, right?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Today is Thursday. But Dwight thinks that it's Friday. And that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words. - Really? - Oh yes.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Stanley, that's freakin' brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto, in fact.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Michael and Jan definitely made out. - Oh! Maybe more. Also it is Thursday, but Dwight thinks it's Friday. So, keep that going. - Yay!", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up very well to even severe scrutiny.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Angela, you were totally satisfactory this year.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "That's my girlfriend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Office romances are nobody's business but the people involved.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Don't you mean constructive criticism? - What did I say? - You said constructive compliments. That doesn't make any sense.", "c": ["Kelly", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Well, Kelly. That was neither constructive nor a compliment. So maybe you should stop criticizing my English.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Dan, this is Jim, it is about 11:15. and I wanted to know what you were up to tomorrow, which is the 15th and that is a... Saturday.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "I'm a little confused because first it's all like kissey, kissey. And then it's like all regret. Because, oh, I regret that. But wait, I'm still going to call you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Not like wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. But I do say thank you, ma'am. But I'm not like, wham, bam. Not that there's anything wrong with wham, bam. If it's consensual.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Well, you're wearing it at the office. And... it, I'm sorry, no offense, but it's really sexy. Please don't smell me Michael.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "No. I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a Thursday night. What the hell was I thinking?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "What should we do to prepare for Y2K?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "I thought you read these every week? Well, obviously, this one got stuck in the box. That happens occasionally.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "We need a better outreach for employees fighting depression. Okay, alright, enough with the jokes. Nobody in here is suffering from depression.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Tom. Oh, that guy. That guy was weird.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "You need to do something about your B.O. Now, I don't know who this suggestion is meant for.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Aren't the suggestions meant for you?", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Michael, he wasn't inferring, he was implying. You were inferring. Was I, Creed?", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "is that when we're on an elevator together, I should maybe take the stairs, because talk about stank.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "You need to do something about your coffee breath. - Shut up, shut up, shut up,", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Yeah, who wants to come in on a Saturday? Yeah. What?", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Don't sleep with your boss? Do you think this is referring to you boning Jan?", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "You're going to give me this raise. I deserve this raise. Yes! Yes! Yes! The least you can do is keep my salary consistent with inflation! Yes! Why are you going to give me this raise?! Why?! Because, I'm awesome! I am awesome!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Okay. Great. Your performance has been adequate. You may leave. Good-bye.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Let me bring up one word. Dedication. I have never, been late. Also, I have never missed a day due to illness. Even when I had walking pneumonia.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "I even come in on holidays. You do? How do you get in? I have a copy of your key.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "For instance, the time brought in deer jerky for the whole office. That was deer? Gross. - Oh, god, Did not - You liked it.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "It's a delicacy. And, you know what, it's an aphrodisiac. So when we're done here, you guys could go over to the Antler Lodge, sample some deer, and talk about my raise.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "And in conclusion, I think Lex Luther said it best, when he said, 'Dad, you have no idea, what, I'm capable of.' - That's from Superman? - Smallville.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "How do you come back from that? You don't I don't think, come all the way back, you know? Especially working together. No, I mean, doing that with Michael. How do you come back from that, as a human being? Oh, yeah. No. I don't think you can.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "It's your personality. I mean you're obnoxious, and rude. And-and-and stupid. And you do have coffee breath by the way. And-and, I don't agree about the B.O. But you are very, very, inconsiderate.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "So my looks have nothing to do with it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Hey! It's 12:20. Where the hell is Dwight? No idea. Never missed a day my ass.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! It's okay!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Performance Review"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Oh!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Oh, we have a serious problem here. All right, everybody. Lock the doors. Turn off the lights. Pretend you're not here.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "What's your password, Michael? Um, it's... Oh. 1, 2, 3, 4. Yes.", "c": ["IT guy", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Look at at this. Grr!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "You could get a brain aneurysm... Or hit by a car... Or a bus or a train. You could get poisoned. Fall down a well. Step on a mine. Choke.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Okay, if I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and die, you can have my job. Okay?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "There are certain things a boss does not share with his employees. His salary. That would depress them. His bed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Sorry I didn't write back sooner. I can't go to the game tonight because my boss Michael is an ass and making me stay late.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Well, Stanley's an ass. Not one of our harder workers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "I will destroy everything in my path. Actually, we just... Boop! Beep! Bop! Okay. Bonk! Boop boop. Oil can. Oil can. Tin Man.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "The problem is that when people hear the term 'Big Brother' they immediately think it's scary or bad. But I don't. I think, 'Wow. I love my Big Brother.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Something just happened. Dwight just told Angela that she has to delete all of her sensitive e-mails immediately.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "It's like squishing a spider under a book. It's gonna be really gross, but I have to look and make sure that it's really dead.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Yeast infections. There are huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we're down river from that old bread factory.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "But maybe I need to be even approachabler.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "This is a meal in a cup right here. Hot, tasty. Reminds me of college. Lived on this stuff. Brain food. Mmm.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "The professors would go to the parties? Yeah. They were the most fun. We always invited them.", "c": ["Michael", "Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "So three ingredients for a great party. And it's nothing personal. I just think if he were there, people wouldn't be able to relax.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. He is very real.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "'Cause it's a surprise... Is it? Mm-hmm... Oh, that's perfect.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Maybe we can get him to hide and wait somewhere.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Oh, it's the best. It is the best. I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Liar! You are a liar. No, I'm not! Ohh.", "c": ["Michael", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "I didn't know you played soccer, Dwight. Clarinet.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Hey, I love the Birkenstocks. Thanks. Yeah, I always keep an extra set in the car for special occasions.", "c": ["Mark", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Think about this. What is the most exciting thing that can happen on TV or in movies or in real life? Somebody has a gun. That's why I always start with a gun because you can't top it. You just can't.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "I'm not even in the scene! Boom! Boom! Boom!", "c": ["Student", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "And then Dwight would be like... You know what? Let's just leave that image out of it. Because this is a happy place. Happy thoughts, Pam. Happy thoughts.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Oh, no! Oh, yeah. You were so dorky! Thank you.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "He told me he couldn't show it to me, but he has a gun.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Can we please not talk about paper? There's gotta be something else that we can talk about.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Well, you do mean you and Jim, right? Oh, God. I am so sorry. I mean, I thought... You guys hang out all the time. And you're talking all the time.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "It's just a private friend who happens to know all of us from different ways is throwing a private birthday thing.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Wow. Who opened the morgue for this thing?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "He is a good guy. Not a terrorist.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "We're making love!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "The story about me getting into improv was that I was walking down the street and a race car pulls up. And the guy says, 'Hey, you're funny. You're the funniest guy I've ever seen. Or my name is not Dale Earnhardt.' And that was an improv.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "Um, the real way was that I found a flyer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Email Surveillance"}, {"t": "The entire opening struggle to get the Christmas tree through the door - multiple people shouting contradictory instructions", "c": ["Multiple office workers", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Ah, I got a splinter. / Well, suck it up. We all have problems.", "c": ["Unknown", "Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "And B: I wanted it to be impressive. The biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "And we are going to sell that to charity. That's what Christmas is all about.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Jim's entire talking head about the teapot gift with inside jokes for Pam", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "She put this on a hot dog a couple years ago because she thought it was catsup. And it was really funny, so I kept the other two.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "This would take a little too long to explain. So I won't.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Do you think I should have gotten the big ones? / We'll see.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Angela"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Which, to me, seems... excessive.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Ho ho ho! Pimp! I'm kidding!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Double everything. Double ice cream. Double napkins. Double it. On me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "So I guess some good came out of firing Devin after all. Maybe I should call him, tell him that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "I want people making out in closets. I want people hanging from the ceilings, lampshades on the heads. I want it to be a Playboy Mansion party.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Like booze ever killed anybody.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Will you help me? / No! No way. It... no.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "That makes sense, because he has elfish features.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "I got Angela. She's into these posters of babies dressed as adults. I got her one of those. I felt kind of weird buying that.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn't.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Not great. Sorry, everybody. I think the tree looks nice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, 'Hey, man, I love you... this many dollars worth.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "He obviously forgot to get me something. And then he went into his closet and dug out this little number. And then threw it in a bag.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Yep, that's exactly what happened.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Wasn't there a $20 limit on the gifts? / This is 400 bucks. / You don't know that. / Yeah, you left the price on.", "c": ["Oscar", "Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "So Phyllis is basically saying, 'Hey, Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year. But I only care about you a homemade oven mitt's worth.' I gave Ryan an iPod.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "We are going to turn Secret Santa into Yankee Swap! / What is Yankee Swap? / I thought that was called Nasty Christmas. / Yeah, we call it White Elephant.", "c": ["Michael", "Various"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Michael should have asked the party planning committee first. He's not just supposed to just spring things on us out of nowhere.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "That was meant for Kelly. / Yeah, I figured.", "c": ["Jim", "Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "That's like the creepiest thing that I've ever seen.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Everyone wants the iPod. It is a huge hit. It is almost a Christmas miracle.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "See, I wanted somebody to take it. Boom. Reverse psychology. Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don't know if you guys know about it. But, basically, you make someone think the opposite of what you believe. And that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Two paintball lessons with someone as experienced as I am, is worth, easily, like, two grand.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Maybe I should have taken the iPod.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets... Christmas.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "15 bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it.", "c": ["Michael", "Liquor store clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "A real man makes his own luck. Billy Zane, Titanic.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "And sinus infections can be cured by making a tea from green tea leaf stems and pouring it directly into your nose like so.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "What line of work are you in, Bob?", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Kudos to Ryan, king of the party committee!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Not bad... and if it couldn't go to Ryan, you are the guy I'd want it to go to.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Lampshade on the head! It's happening!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Christmas is awesome. First of all, you get to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no one can say anything. Third, you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Ohhhhhhkay. (Meredith's drunken response)", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Party"}, {"t": "Wow, that's weird. / Ooh, dollar for a stapler, that's pretty good.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "I know you did this 'cause you're friends with the vending machine guy. / Who, Steve? / Yeah, Steve.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "My wallet? Um, oh, there it is. J1.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Here you know what, you can have some nickels. 5, 10. 15, 20, 25...", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "A ski mask and a swimsuit? So that he can have us rob a bank, and then escape through the sewers. And brush our teeth.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Stanley...bo banley. / Banana fana fo fanley. / Me mi mo manley. / Stanley.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Should my wife tell her boss she's not coming in tomorrow? / Maybe, I don't know. / Not maybe, yes or no. / Well, no, but... okay, don't spoil it for everybody.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "In January? / It's cheaper.", "c": ["Employee", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "I have a test for business school tomorrow night. Is it okay if I skip the cruise and study for that? / No, this is mandatory. But don't worry, you know what? You're going to learn plenty. This is going to turn your life around, Ryan. / I'm already in business school.", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Why did you tell us to bring a bathing suit? / To throw you off the scent. / Yeah, but I bought a bathing suit. / Well, just keep the tags on and you can return it. / I took the tags off already. / Well, that's not my fault, okay? Just-we're not going to pay for a bathing suit.", "c": ["Employee", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "I attended a Tony Robbins event by the airport last year, and... It wasn't the actual course. You have to pay for the actual course. But, it talked about the actual course.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Leader...ship. The word ship is hidden inside the word leadership. As its derivation.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Last year, Michael's theme was 'bowl over the competition.' So, guess where we went?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Let me just explain. I see the sales department as the furnace. / A furnace? / Yeesh, how old is this ship?", "c": ["Michael", "Employee"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "I mean who saw the movie 'Titanic'? / Not really sure what movie you're talking about. / You sure you got the title right? / 'Titanic'? / I think you're thinking of 'The Hunt for Red October'.", "c": ["Michael", "Employees"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Michael stands in the front of the boat and says he's king of the world within the first hour, or I give you my next paycheck.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Michael, everyone in the engine room drowned. / No, thank you, spoiler alert.", "c": ["Employee", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "They're happy down there in the furnace room. And they're dirty and grimy and sweaty. And they're singing their ethnic songs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Actually, that might be warehouse. / What? / The, no, no. No I didn't... okay, well, the...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Aye, aye, Captain. / A three hour tour. A three hour tour.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Pam, you are Mary Ann. We have... The Professor and Ginger. Welcome aboard. Angela, you are Mrs. Howell. Lovey.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "I am the Skipper, and Dwight, you will be Gilligan. / Cool. / Actually, I'm the Skipper. But you can be Gilligan. / Oh, I'd rather die.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "In an office, when you are ranking people, manager is higher than captain. On a boat, who knows? It's nebul-ose.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Hey look. I'm king of the world!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Not only am I your ship's captain, I am also your party captain! / And I'm your party captain too!", "c": ["Captain Jack", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "If the boat's a-rocking, don't come knocking. / Michael. / What?", "c": ["Michael", "Captain Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "You guys, it's like we're in high school and we're at the cool table.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "No, she was total little Miss Artsy Fartsy in high school. She wore the turtleneck and everything.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Piss slop who cares-a?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "A-W-E... S-O-M-E, awesome, awesome is what we are we're the football superstars. / We crushed you like 42 to 10.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Not like you 'New Yawkers.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Not now, Mike, we're doing the limbo! / Ha, ha, that's right, partiers. It's time to limbo, limbo, limbo!", "c": ["Captain Jack", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "I need a volunteer to come up here and hold my stick. / Me. / Usually it's a woman. / I'm stronger.", "c": ["Captain Jack", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit, and fly the plane with him. And I was four and I was great! And I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "It is a primal art form used in ancient times to express yourself with the body. And communicate.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that's always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Hey, come inside and talk to me. / I can't. Do you want us to run aground woman?", "c": ["Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Snorkel shot! Who's next? Come on, Pammy, come on, come on! / I'm not doing that.", "c": ["Captain Jack", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Hey, why don't we find like, a quieter place to hang out? / You know what, I've just gotta wait for Darryl to do his shot. Just a minute. Come on, Darryl, Darryl!", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Sometimes, I just don't get Roy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "So. What's it like dating a cheerleader?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "So, what's this presentation all about? / It is about...priorities. And making decisions, using the boat as an analogy. What is important to you? If the boat is sinking, what do you save? / Women and children. / No, no. Salesmen and profit centers.", "c": ["Brenda", "Michael", "Captain Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "That's a stupid analogy. / O-kay, well obviously you don't know anything about leadership.", "c": ["Captain Jack", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Well, I was the captain of a PC-1 Cyclone Coastal Patrol Boat during Desert Storm. / Wow, you should be the motivational speaker.", "c": ["Captain Jack", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "I'd like to be engaged. / How did you manage to pull that off?", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Suppose your office building's on fire. Jim, who would you save? / Let's see... the customer. Cause the customer is king. / Not what I was looking for, but a good thought. / He's just sucking up.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "You know what, I would save the receptionist. I just wanted to clear that up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Pam, um, I think enough is enough. I think we should set a date for our wedding. How about June 10th? Come on, let's do it.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Come on, I don't want to take credit for this, but Roy and I were just having a conversation about making commitments and making choices, right? Did I motivate you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "No, it was, it was Captain Jack. / Well.... / Captain Jack! / Could have been either one of us because, pretty much, we were saying the same thing.", "c": ["Roy", "Michael", "Captain Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey, hey, I got an idea, I got an idea. I can marry you right now as captain of the ship, huh? I can marry you as Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, I want my mom and dad to be there. / Then, I'll give you away! / No, thank you.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Do you think that'll ever be us? / No. / What is wrong with you? Why did you even bring me here tonight? / I don't know. / Let's break up.", "c": ["Karen", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Seasick? / Captain Jack says you should look at the moon. / Captain Jack's a fart face.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "I'm on medication. / Really? What? / Vomicillin.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "The ship, is sinking. Okay? We're going down, right now. Just wrap your heads around the reality of that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Captain Jack is gone. In five minutes, this ship is going to be at the bottom of the lake. And there aren't enough spaces on the lifeboats.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "I'm in the brig, see? Boat's not as corporate friendly as advertised.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "If he had just waited and heard what I had to say, he would be motivated right now and not all wet.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "What happened to you? / Captain Jack has a problem with authority.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Well, it's nice for you. Your friend got engaged. / She was always engaged. / Roy said the first one didn't count.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "You know, to tell you the truth, I... used to have a big thing for Pam. So... / Really? You're kidding me. You and Pam? I would have never... put you two together. You really hid it well, God!", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "You know, I made out with Jan. / Yeah, I know.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Well, if you like her so much, uh, don't give up. She's engaged. / B.F.D. Engaged ain't married. Never, ever, ever give up.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Michael. I'm taking us to shore. / It's a fake wheel, dummy.", "c": ["Dwight", "Captain Jack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Booze Cruise"}, {"t": "Michael dramatically calling for help because he hurt his foot, treating it like a life-threatening emergency", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's elaborate George Foreman Grill breakfast-in-bed system explanation", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "The grill 'clamped down' on Michael's foot", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's pronunciation of 'protuberance' as 'protruberence'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael admits his weekend girlfriend was 'all made up'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Dwight crashes his car into a pole while rushing to save Michael", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "'You forgot your bumper!' shouted to Dwight as he drives away", "c": ["Unknown office worker"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's dramatic entrance demanding not to be freaked out about while clearly seeking attention", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Pam correcting 'cooked your foot' to 'burned my foot' with Michael's indignant response", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Kevin's 'So where are you shipping your foot?' followed by 'Your foot' when no one laughs", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's job description for Pam: 'Your job is being my friend'", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael wanting family member treatment for 'serious physical trauma' vs Pam offering aspirin for being 'fussy'", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's 'bloody stump of a foot' description", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Dwight cutting off mid-sentence about his duties, creating awkward silence", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Dwight's elaborate meal preparation - three whole chickens for dark meat, no yams story", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Jim's Russian music download site prank on Pam", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Pam's confused 'Why would they all be...' after Jim's prank", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Jim calling Pam 'Pan' and her confused response", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael asking Pam to rub butter (Country Crock) on his foot", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Dwight's 'indestructible' cover demonstration that immediately breaks", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Dwight pretending it didn't break and continuing the sales pitch", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Jim's talking head about Pam and Dwight being friends", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Pam's talking head progression from denial to horror about being Dwight's friend", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Ryan's terrible pickup line 'you're sweeter than candy'", "c": ["Ryan", "unknown recipient"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael falling off toilet and getting stuck between toilet and wall", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael requesting Ryan to 'clean me up a little bit' while stuck", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Jim claiming Ryan is dead to avoid helping Michael", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's 'you only grilled your foot' dismissal from Jim", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's disability lecture dismissing Phyllis's scoliosis as 'woman's trouble'", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Creed's iron lung story and age confusion", "c": ["Creed", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's comment about Stanley having 'his fair share of obstacles'", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Stanley's 'Mail Boxes, Etc.' response to what Michael's bandage looks like", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "The Stevie Wonder bathroom hypothetical and response 'We love Stevie Wonder'", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's dramatic 'I burned my foot!' outburst", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Tom Hanks disability analysis - Forrest Gump, Philadelphia, and Big confusion", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Stanley doing crossword puzzle during disability presentation", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Billy the wheelchair user's practical responses vs Michael's assumptions", "c": ["Billy", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Tooth brushing taking 'three times as long' mishearing", "c": ["Michael", "Billy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Jim's talking head: 'I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman Grill'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Born on the Fourth of July reference and Michael's disappointment in Billy", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Describing Dwight as 'moon-faced kid who crashed into the pole'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Ryan's aspirin-in-pudding trick compared to dog medicine", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's 'blood coursing through my foot veins' recovery speech", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Jim's shotgun rule explanation while Dwight has a concussion", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's judgment of Meredith's minivan affecting her dating prospects", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Dwight drinking mysterious liquid from under van seat", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael claiming Dwight can't be fired because 'I don't work in this van'", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Dwight's middle name being 'Danger' vs 'Kurt'", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's 'miraculous recovery' vs Dwight needing CAT scan comparison", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Michael's 'That's what she said' theft from Dwight", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Jim and Pam's phone conversation about Dwight and Michael", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Doctor telling Michael to 'stop that' during breathing exercise", "c": ["Doctor", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Injury"}, {"t": "Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "What's updog? / Nothing much. What's up with you?", "c": ["Unknown", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Oh, wow. I walked right into that.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Hey, Stanley. Is that jacket made of updog? / I'm on the phone.", "c": ["Jim", "Stanley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "What flavor coffee is that, updog? / What's that? / I don't know. Nothing. What's up with you? / Huh? No. Damn it.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Dwight. Hey, is it me, or does this place smell like updog? / What's updog? / Gotcha! / Oh, God! Crap.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "But if you do your spring cleaning in January, guess what you don't have to do in the spring? Anything.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. Well, I say an empty desk means an... Empty mind. No, that's not... No. That's not what I was gonna say.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Could've used some of that famous Hispanic cleaning ethic.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Which is exactly how you'd want to sound if you wanted someone to think you were sick. / That's exactly what I was thinking.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Because an office can't function efficiently unless people are at their desks doing their jobs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Man, this must be torture for you.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "I confided in the world's worst confidant.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "And it is why I intend on keeping that secret for as long as I possibly can.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "See the game last night? / Which game? / Any of 'em.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "So, uh, what's the 4-1-1? Any updates on the 'P' situation? / P-A-M... P-A?", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Peach iced tea. / You're gonna hate it.", "c": ["Stanley", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, I spoke to Oscar on the phone. So none of this is useful.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "It's grrrrape soda. / Tony the Tiger, you don't hear that much anymore.", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "I had asked Michael if I could head up the Oscar investigation, and he said that only Dwight was capable of handling such sensitive material.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Oh, man. You should order milk. Get it?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "We're not worthy. We're not worthy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "I will have a chicken breast. Hold the chicken.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Sniffling how? / Um, how many different ways are there to gonna sniffle? / Three.", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Her legs or boobs, or...? / Um, she's easy to talk to, I guess. / Really? She never gets any of my jokes.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Happy birthday song at Hooters", "c": ["Hooters waitresses"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "What did you guys talk about? / Just, you know, politics. Literature. / I hate you.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I'd forget too.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "I put a cigarette through a freaking quarter. And you know what, Toby? They almost bought from us.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "He is in love with a girl he works with who's engaged. / Pam?", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "One time, I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me. So I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out she was. With a couple of guys, actually, so. Mystery solved.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Well, the cat's out of the bag. I used to have a crush on Pam. And now I don't. / Riveting.", "c": ["Jim", "Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "I told Michael that I had had a crush on you when you first started here. / Oh.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "So are you gonna be, like, totally awkward around me now? / Oh, yeah. Yeah. / Hope that's okay.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "I don't tell Michael, and in exchange, you owe me one great, big, giant favor redeemable by me at a time and place of my choosing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Otherwise, it's just malfeasance for malfeasance's-s sake.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Oh, I thought that was more on a volunteer basis. / No. That was mandatory. / Oh, I thought it was a volunteer thing.", "c": ["Creed", "Michael", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Jim had a crush on me on the booze cruise, or he told you about it on the booze cruise. / Um... okay. / Shut it, Michael. I'm done. That's it, I'm out.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "Portrait of a Prostitute. Something... Secrets of a... More Secrets of a Call Girl.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be Shila. I like being Michael Scott.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "The Secret"}, {"t": "What? Oh, nothing.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "June. Summer. So, that'll be nice.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Spamster!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Pam, plus Spam, plus... Hamster. Right.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Did you get lucky? Boink.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "And this year I got to the third week in January.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "'I am Pam.' Spicoli guy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Whoa! God! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Is that a bird? No, I don't think it's a bird.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Don't be a wuss. Just get... No, I'm not holding your coffee.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Hey, guys. Somebody making soup?", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "She probably scrubbed it into the fibers of the carpet. Total permeation.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "So this is sort of like my audition tape.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "I did not do that. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It was not me.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Which I guess I'll be taking. No, no, no. Seriously, I don't mind sharing. No, no, no. Seriously, I'll be in the back.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Allergy to... the desk?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Don't ape me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "'Oh, Ed Truck is walking toward us, so stop having fun. Start pretending to do work.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming and would applaud as I walked away", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "My closet doors will not shut. I mean, it only takes so long to measure to make sure that clothes will hang up. 'Cause aren't all hangers, like, that big? So I don't understand why the closet engineer didn't think of that.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "So now I'm doing this new thing where I just leave piles of clothes on the floor and I walk around the piles to get an outfit...", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Packer and I once spent a whole day with our pants off.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "And when people noticed, we convinced them that they were crazy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Another time, Packer held this guy's head in the toilet for like, a minute. The guy had no sense of humor about it. Probably why he wasn't hired.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Once, as a joke, Packer banged every chick in the office. It was hysterical.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Beyonce, pink the color, Pink the person, hot dogs, basically anything that is awesome. Snow cones...", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, he is so cute. Would you talk to him for me and see if he likes me?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Please, Jim. Please, please, please.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Old-fashioned raid. Sales on Accounting.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Sales rules! Yes! Yeah! Yeah!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Should we help them pick up their stuff? No, no, no, no. We don't do that. We don't do that.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "It could be done out of hate. It could be done out of love. It could be completely neutral.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "I am beginning to think that what happened to my carpet was an act of terrorism against the office.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "I'm totally gonna win us that box set. Stop. Jethro Tull... Stop it. Stop it. Don't.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Right here I'm gonna put a crisp $100 bill. Seventy, eighty, one, two, three. $83.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Michael is gonna wipe the floor with us.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "What's that? What are you doing? Nothing. I think he's dancing. No, just... That was definitely not dancing.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Maybe that's all we need to know.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "This was no act of God. A person did this. A person who works in this office. Maybe all of them.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about. That's not what a hate crime is. Well, I hated it a lot, okay.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "What's our punishment? You're all on a time out. Just sit there quietly.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "I don't know. It depends if you like a little junk in...", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Oh, long-term, definitely. Fall in love, have babies, spend every second together. But don't tell him that, okay? Just tell him I'm, like, up for anything.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "My biggest fear is turning into him. Michael, you should have much bigger fears than that. I wasn't talking literally, Creed. Yeah, being buried alive would be worse.", "c": ["Michael", "Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "You can love a boss like you do a father. I'm not sure that ever happens. Well, okay. Different management styles.", "c": ["Michael", "Ed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "'No. I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "And I got your number from the corporate directory, and well, I was assuming that you probably gave it to them because you wanted me to ask you out, right?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Hello, yes, I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott. Who is this? How did you get this number? Your mom, you gay nerd.", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don't expect everybody to understand.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Sudoku. Level, moderate. Time, 18 minutes. Suck on that, Halpert.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Hey, what's that word we made up for when you have a thing stuck in your shoe?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "I have a theory that involves an inter-departmental conspiracy. Everybody in the office.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Carpet"}, {"t": "Michael's not allowed in. She said that about five times.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "What is more important than quality? Equality.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "the Ally McBeal woman, as I call her", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "They ended up turning the break room into a lactation room, which is disgusting.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry. 'Women of the Workplace.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Clothes, me... Ick.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "They stay in there too long, they're gonna get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Toby, come on over. You're a guy... too. Sort of.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Why does society force us to use urinals when sitting down is far more comfortable?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Remember on Lost, when they met the Others?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Sort of a BrAngelina thing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "It's a Ram. It's a Ram thing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Because I am collar-blind.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Meredith, and I'm an al... Good at supplier relations.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "You know, I've seen some of your spreadsheets. And I almost always...", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "I guess the person I have the most in common with is... Jim.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "That way she's not all, 'Bah, bah, bah, bah,' you know, when she gets home.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Michael doing exaggerated forklift moves and sound effects", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "In five years, I'd like to be five years sober.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "4 1/2.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 9.03, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "I want an SUV with three rows of seats.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Michael climbing on dangerous warehouse equipment", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "We're the ones that gotta clean that up! Damn it, Michael!", "c": ["Warehouse workers"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Well, I have a job right now. So I can't really take time off.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "There are always a million reasons not to do something.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Uh-uh, don't... don't shush me. I... that was just... That bothers me too. I was breathing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "That's a good question, Hasselhoff.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Jan aspires to be a whore.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Like, gas ain't free!", "c": ["Warehouse worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "No, you don't. You don't feel us. How can you? You... you know what? Not literally.", "c": ["Warehouse worker"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Mi-chael! Mi-chael! Mi-chael!", "c": ["Warehouse workers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Don't get hysterical. I'm not. Part of my job is knowing how to talk to women.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Now who's getting hysterical?", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "This here is a run-out-the-clock situation. Just like upstairs.", "c": ["Warehouse worker"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Below par means worse. Wait, that should mean better. That doesn't make sense.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Like if Michael said he got to second base with you?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "We watched a video about our changing bodies. Did you really? No. Oh. Almost.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Cold front comin' in to the warehouse! Uh-oh! Better put on your ski boots!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "How can someone so beautiful be so sad?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Dreams are just that. They're dreams. They help get you through the day.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "How did you know?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "You gotta take a chance on something sometime, Pam.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Do black people like pizza?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Sometimes, Jan... can be such a bitch. Hey, watch it. Watch it. We have a relationship.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "You need to have that crazy sexual tension to keep things interesting.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Snow angel! Snow angel!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Boys And Girls"}, {"t": "Like last year, Jim gave me this card with Dwight's head on it. It was horrifying and funny.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Happy Valentine's Day, Darling, love Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration", "c": ["Phyllis", "delivery person"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "And you want me to come with you. - No. Opposite of that.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Screwed. What is your problem?", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Her words, not mine. She sent me an e-mail this morning.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "It's New York, city of love.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Fuggit abat it!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Manhattan is the other name.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "And I'll end up winning a lot of money, because, they're idiots.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Happy Valentine's Day.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "It's me. I'm the bobble head.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Yes!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna go get me a New York slice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Ryan, what took, you so long? I mean, I just said it to him. Can you believe that?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I hooked up with her on February 13th.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Times Square. Named for all the good times you have when you're in it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "We have Bubba Gump Shrimp, Red Lobster down there. This is the heart of civilization right here.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "There's a guy pooping in a cardboard box down there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Founded of course, by Theodore Rockefeller.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "That's Tina Fey from Saturday Night Live... Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were... She looked like... she looked a lot like Tina Fey.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Come on! No, are you s... When? When I was talking to the fake Tina Fey?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I didn't get anything for Valentine's Day. Oh, I bet you will before the day is over.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Scranton is great, but New York is like Scranton on acid. No, on speed. Nah. On steroids.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "It's like Michael Jordan in the NBA finals, or like Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf. And this presentation is Desert Storm. And soon as it's over, we will not have to deal with those Iraqis anymore.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Man, that thing's bigger than I am. - No, it's not. - Oh, zip it.", "c": ["Kevin", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "You have been kicked out of every strip club in Albany. - Is that true? - Guilty, yeah.", "c": ["Josh", "Craig", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "You mean, like a ham? - No. Not like a ham.", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "She's the worst. - Well, she's our boss. - She ain't my boss, dude. I don't work for that bitch.", "c": ["Craig", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Maybe because she's my girlfriend. Was, or not my girlfriend. She's... we hooked up and...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Soda. Cool.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I know that it's Valentine's Day or whatever, but there's totally no pressure at all of any kind, whatsoever.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "And, well, it is Michael. So... yeah, I'm very nervous.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "What is a business? Is it a collection of numbers and sales reports? Sure. But as you know, David and Jan, it is much more.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Yeah, I shot a bunch of footage around the office, edited it together on my Mac. Was thinking about entering it in some festivals. Probably won't. You know, not what this is about.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "What it's like to walk a mile in Oscar's shoes. Or try on Phyllis' pants.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Great Scott!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Who's it from? - My mom.", "c": ["Oscar", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Is it okay if I invite Ryan?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "I was under the impression this was more of, like, a meet-and-greet type of deal.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Maybe I should've slept with you too.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Surely, you cannot be serious. I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. Airplane.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Women, are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Let's get you home, and you are gonna get the best sex of your life.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "And Craig, you saw him, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Although, he is a tool.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "Oi vey...schmear.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Valentines Day"}, {"t": "They are either gonna say... yes or no. Could go either way. We don't know what they are going to say.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I don't like to be cooped up in that office. In that box all day long. Heisman!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Office football chaos with everyone demanding the ball from each other", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin", "Oscar", "Phyllis", "Creed", "Ryan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "You are so lucky, Jim. You are so lucky you don't have this problem.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Question, do their pizzas play DVDs?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "It is literally the highest possible honor that a Northeastern Pennsylvania based mid-size paper company regional salesman can attain", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Are you sad that Dwight beat you? No. Are you gonna cry, Jim? Do you need a tissue?", "c": ["Camera crew", "Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I don't want to offend... Angela. Or someone.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "That's what she said. Ha! I don't get it.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Grapes, seductive. ... Oh, absofruitly. Fruit, grapes. Nailed the joke. Matter of time.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Been there, done that. Went there again, did it again. Two years in a row. Consecutive.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "They stopped making plaques that year.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I misspelled, in front of the entire school, the word 'failure'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "That's because you're incapable of doing it. Because you don't know how. Because you have no skills.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Is that an insult or is that part of the public speaking advice?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I get here early every morning so I can set the thermostat. I like it a little cooler, around 66 degrees. I'm more productive. Maybe some people don't like it as cold as I do. But I don't care.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "A saleswoman has a vagina.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "The difference between a salesman and a saleswoman is boobs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I have some very great news from corporate. We had a wonderful quarter, and as a result, all of you are getting bonuses for $1,000.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "No no, it's not true. I was just talking.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "There had been an accident on 84 West. Cars have skidded off the road into the safety railing. Several cars have flipped. There is broken glass everywhere. Several people are injured.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Brad Pitt. ... He will never act again. Also, this branch is closing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "This is karma because of what he did to Jennifer Anniston.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Pam, I'm public speaking. Stop public interrupting me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "What is that? It's like Club Med, but everything is naked.", "c": ["Stanley", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Maybe a month.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I'd like to say hi to my friends in China.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Good morning, Vietnam!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Which means absolutely nothing. ... Well, it's mostly made up.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I can travel anywhere, except Cuba. And I will travel to New Zealand. And walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor. And then I will hike Mt. Doom.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Please, you're not taking any trip.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "You've gotta wave your arms, and you've gotta pound your fists. Many times. So as to emphasize your point.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "But I did download speeches from some of history's famous dictators. Like this one. Originally given by Benito Mussolini.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "You're inviting Jim? Of course, he's one of my closest friends.", "c": ["Roy", "Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I am just feeling under the weather. And I think that I will go home and rest.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I've never ever seen you take a sick day. Well, I've seen you take enough for the both of us.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Well, there are many things, I believe, that do such a thing of that... nature.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I always set it at 69.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Actually, I don't see ever getting married.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Ryan, you should be more sensitive. It's obvious she likes you, and comments like that... I know what I said.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I'm very sorry, I did not know that you were wearing a hearing aid. And I just thought you were speaking abnormally.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Michael Winslow. Anyone? A car starting.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Blood alone moves the wheels of history!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "We realized that the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle. A never-ending fight. I say to you, and you will understand, that it is a privilege to fight! We are warriors!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Jim has worked at the same place for five years. Jim eats the same ham and cheese sandwich every day for lunch. I don't know, if I were a betting man, I'd say he will have a fun weekend in Philadelphia.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "Salesmen... and women... of the world, unite. We must never acquiesce. For it is together! Together that we prevail!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I'm a little nervous to run into Dwight on his connecting flight to Mordor, but other than that...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "I'm leaving on June 8th. Oh. Yeah, and I'm really sorry about that.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "The bartender asked for her ID, which I thought was odd. Because I pegged her as, like, 35.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "She's probably in the room drinking from the minibar.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "So I captivated the guy who captivated 1,000 guys. Can you believe that? 1,000 guys.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Dwights Speech"}, {"t": "So I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk so the kids will come talk to me. Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Bribery. Nice.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "It's Pam. Ms. Beasley if you're nasty. Janet Jackson.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Hey, you having a wardrobe malfunction, or...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "This is like HBO. No limits. Who knows what I'm gonna say? Crazy stuff. And it is R rated. It is not rated G. I am like Eddie Murphy in Raw. And they are trying to make me into Eddie Murphy in Daddy Daycare.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "I am like Superman. And the people who work here are like citizens of Gotham city. That's Batman. That's Batman. Okay, I'm Aquaman.", "c": ["Michael", "Unknown child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "I work with a bunch of nerds.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Mmm. Hello, tiny one. Come on. You are the future.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "I just hope she doesn't look on my computer. Actually, I'd better go check.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "She is turning into a stone cold fox. Better keep the frat boys away from her. I'm in 8th grade.", "c": ["Michael", "Melissa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "It's not that children make me uncomfortable. It's just that, why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle? I've never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Do you need any help? No, thanks. We'd have to explain everything. It's probably just easier if we do it ourselves.", "c": ["Unknown child", "Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "All right, I wasn't expecting that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "I guess I wouldn't mind a pair of small, well behaved boys.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun. And I'm learning that fun for Kelly is getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "I only have one goal today. To make one kid like me. Just one.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what? Can I call you back? I'll call you right back. Yes, I promise.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "All aboard for sales! Next stop, Cook... camonga! Ow ow ow ow, you broke my hand.", "c": ["Michael", "Sasha"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "There is no way that hurt. Really? 'Cause she's pretty strong, Dwight. I didn't feel anything. Nothing. You're so weak.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim", "Sasha"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "You call your mom Meredith? That's very disrespectful. You can refer to me as Mr. Schroot. Mr. Poop? Schroot. Mr. Schroot. Sure, Mr. Poop.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jake"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Are you Mother Goose?", "c": ["Unknown child"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Ryan, you are so dorky. Give me your number so I can text you. Can I have your email address?", "c": ["Melissa", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "That little girl is a child! I don't wanna see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon. Boy, have you lost your mind? 'Cause I'll help you find it. Whatcha looking for? Ain't nobody gonna help you out there. Jesus can come through that door, and he's not gonna help you if you don't stop sniffing after my child.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "The great tall tailor always comes to little girls that suck their thumbs. And ere they dream what he is about, he takes his great sharp scissors out and then cuts their thumbs clean off.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "These are cautionary tales for kids, Michael. The kids don't wanna hear some weirdo book that your Nazi war criminal grandmother gave you. What's a Nazi?", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael", "Unknown child"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Bye, Mr. Poop.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Children cannot lie. They are innocent, and they speak the truth. And out of the mouths of babes, Michael Scott is freakin' cool.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "You're just a middleman. Wait, why doesn't the sawmill just sell the paper directly to people? You are describing Office Depot. And they're kind of running us out of business.", "c": ["Abby", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "You ever seen a foot with four toes? Eww! What are you doing? Stop it, stop it!", "c": ["Creed", "Children"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "There was a show called Fundle Bundle, and I was the star. Ryan, can you come here a second? I would like you to go to my mother's house in Dixon City. And if she's at the pool, the back kitchen window should be unlocked. I want you boost yourself up...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "I don't get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. You joke around with them. You give 'em pizza. You give 'em candy. You let 'em live their lives. They're adults, for God's sake.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends. And no one can say no to being my friend.", "c": ["Young Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.9, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Did you get married? No. Why not? It just never happened. So do you have any kids? Nope. Do you have a girlfriend? I do okay. So you didn't get to be what you wanted to be. I guess not.", "c": ["Sasha", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Who, Terry? That woman is not my mother. That is my stepmother.", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Mr. Poop, I have to tell you something. You're ugly. Well, at least I'm not a horrible little latchkey kid who got suspended from school, so...", "c": ["Jake", "Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Do you think that it is too late for me to have kids? Well, you need a wife first or at least a girlfriend. What about Jan? Not Jan.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "I need a user name. And I have a great one. Littlekidlover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Why does he own a guitar if he doesn't know how to play it? I think he thought his ukulele skills would transfer.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "In the olden days the women would bear many children so we would have enough laborers to work the fields. And if it was an especially cold winter and there weren't enough grains or vegetables, they would eat the weakest of the brood. No! They didn't eat the children. It never came to that.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"}, {"t": "Phil recruited me to sell these cards, and now I am recruiting you. Who is this guy again? Don't worry about Phil. He drives a Corvette. He's doing just fine.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "These things sell themselves. Who uses calling cards anymore?", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "It sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme. Yes, thank you. You will get rich quick. We all will.", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Phil has recruited me and another guy. Now we are getting three people each. The more people that get involved, the more people who are investing, the more money we're all gonna make. It's not a pyramid scheme.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "It is a... It's not even a scheme, per se. It's...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "I have to go make a call.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "I share my birthday with Eva Longoria. So, I have a perfect icebreaker if I ever meet Teri Hatcher.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "You're late. Thank you, it's noon. But, I forgive you. Because doth, it is my birthday.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Michael's birthday. It's pretty fun to watch, actually. He gets very excited and then he eats a lot of cake. And then he runs around the office. And then he has a sugar crash in the afternoon. And then he falls asleep. And that's when we get our work done.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "It is from Italy. Actually, Bulgaria. So...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Good luck. One-of-a-kind. EBay.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "They've been working 24l7, all day, yesterday.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Let's get the party started. Let's get the party started. Not the way I taught you.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "When should we bring out the cake, 1:00 or 1:30? 1:00 is good. 1:30.", "c": ["Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Where do we get those? Not my problem.", "c": ["Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Michael wants a stripper gram? Yes, but he doesn't want to know when or whom.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Really? 'Cause I thought we had the same birthday.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Am I on camera? Nope. Totally private. You can say whatever is in your heart.", "c": ["Michael", "cameraman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "You can take a five if you want.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever. That and my sister's.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Well, I guess I forgot to give you a donut.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "You don't know it's going to be okay. Don't give him false hope.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "I can sign for it. Oh, thanks.", "c": ["Jim", "delivery person"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids. And I got a really bad rash from the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony and I had to go inside. And my mother was rubbing cream on me for probably three hours and I never came outside. And by the time I got out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "It's your favorite song. Yeah, when it's on the radio.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "My birthday blows. Nobody even signed my birthday poster. Apparently, my mother is the only one who cares enough to send me anything.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "I probably care more than she does. You're making it worse.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "I bet Luke Perry's friends don't treat him like this.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "If I knew I had a week to live, I would probably go to Europe. And South America. And the Grand Canyon. And I would want to see the Pacific Ocean. It would be a pretty busy week.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "The exact moment when you emerged from your mother's vaginal canal.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "There is a tradition that the Hebrews have of hoisting the birthday boy up on a chair.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "I feel like we should go get Kevin something. Do you think we can sneak out of here? Maybe, but we're gonna need somebody to create a diversion and...", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Okay, that is not an 8-foot sub. We don't make an 8-foot sub. This is eight 1-foot subs.", "c": ["Delivery guy"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food, I can drive a taxi, I can and do cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist. Because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Baloney, tomato and ketchup. The best. These are all the same. Yes.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Get whatever you want. And choke on it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "When I was 16, I was supposed to go out on a date with a girl named Julie. But there was another Michael in the class that she apparently thought the date was with. So she went out with him on my birthday. And she got him a cake at the restaurant, and it wasn't even his birthday. But I heard about it the next day in school. So, that was the worst birthday I think I ever had.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Sixty-nine Cup of Noodles. Which we realize sounds crass, but it is his favorite number. And his favorite lunch.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Someone ate three feet of that thing? Hell, yeah.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "But don't expect any cookie. But what if I'm hungry? No cookie.", "c": ["Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "You use fabric softener? Yeah. You don't? No, I do.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Kevin, respect the birthday, please? No. No, not yet.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "I asked for trick candles. Pam was supposed to get them. Sorry. Okay. Well, when she comes back we'll do it again.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "No one cares about your birthday. Kevin's waiting to hear if he has skin cancer.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "That's terrible news for both of us.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Luke, this is your father. Come set the table for dinner.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Jim Halpert, price check on fabric softener. The kind with the cute... Ma'am, please don't touch that. That is not a toy.", "c": ["Pam", "Store employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "It turns out that 98% of people with skin cancer fully recover. Yeah, but it's not brain cancer, and it shouldn't stop us from having fun.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Well the doctor said a combination of interferon and Dacarbazine. And laughter also.", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "I didn't even invite you to my birthday party. I work here. 'I work here.'", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "And don't say the bathroom, because I kicked in all the stalls.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "How dare you, sir. You are gross.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "I thought about playing in the NHL, but you're on the road so much. You get no time to spend with your wife and kids. And I really want a wife and kids.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Those things are like ticking time-bags.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Well, apparently, in the medicine community, 'negative' means 'good,' which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community that would be chaos.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "'From Dwight. Number One.' Thank you, Dwight. That's great.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "Michael's birthday was actually pretty cool. It was a good day. I don't know. It was a good day.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Michaels Birthday"}, {"t": "You look cute today, Dwight. / Thanks, girl.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Jim's list of marijuana symptoms perfectly describing Kevin", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "And by the way, I haven't.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "I enjoy the tangy zip of Miracle Whip.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Pam's failed Phyllis impression attempt", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Stop! This is not Kelly Kapur story hour.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Dude, where's my office? I totally lost it! 'Cause I was half-baked!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "I don't think Michael's ever done drugs. I don't know if anyone's ever offered him any.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Have you ever... pooped a balloon?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "That is Northern Lights Cannabis Indica. / No. It's marijuana.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Jinx. Buy me a coke.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Sold out! That has never happened in the history of jinx!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Two nights ago I went to an Alicia Keys concert... I think I may have gotten high accidentally by a girl with a lip ring.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Take Cheech and Chong. Everybody knows that Cheech and Chong are funny. But just imagine how funny they would be if they didn't smoke pot.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "One of those people will be dead from drug use at some point in their lives.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Hookah is not an illegal drug, Michael. / Yes, it is. / No, it's not. It's a type of pipe.", "c": ["Toby", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Jim's fake crying performance", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "You might remember testing my urine a few years back when I was applying to be a Volunteer Sheriff's Deputy. / We test a lot of urine. / Mine was green.", "c": ["Dwight", "Linda"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "I think I may have gotten high accidentally by a girl with a lip ring.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "I want him to have all the urine he needs.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "His father's name? Dwiged Schrued.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "My dad cheated a lot, but I never busted him on it. I would have, except I didn't know about it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Jim's prolonged jinx torture of Dwight", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "I took an oath when I was sworn in. And I broke that oath today.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Can I have a gun? / No. I don't have a gun. / I'll have to bring in my bow staff.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Dwight was literally carrying around his own urine and dressed like one of the Village People.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Dwight's elaborate search warrant explanation", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "You're totally harshing the office mellow.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "Rattin' somebody out. Narc. Narc!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "You wanna work at the urinalysis lab?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Drug Testing"}, {"t": "No. 'Cause I'm in a band. We really rock. Yeah. I mean, it's inevitable.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "She hears me arranging my social life. And we both have to hear Dwight order deer urine over the Internet.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "There are a few people I decided not to invite, and that might make things kind of awkward, but it's my wedding. And I don't want anyone there who has called me a hussy.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Fantastic Sams, Adult Cut Plus. Comes with a shampoo and blow-dry.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "On or off? Off. Okay. Oh, what is on your face? Is that a disguise?", "c": ["Photographer", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "It's like child abuse! I say, if Jesus saw that, he'd freak out! He'd freak out, Toby!", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "I forget, are you guys dating? No.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "My Shaolin temple style defeats your monkey style.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Win-win is number four. And number five is win-win-win. The important difference here is with win-win-win, we all win. Me, too. I win for having successfully mediated a conflict at work.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "It makes me feel like the babies are the true artists, and God has a really cute sense of humor.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "This is so much more offensive to me than hard-core porn.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "How about Angela makes the poster into a t-shirt, which Oscar wears. That way he can never see it and whenever she looks at Oscar, she can see it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "How about Angela can keep it up on Tuesdays and Thursdays? Okay. That is called a compromise. And it is style three, and it is not ideal.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.38, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "That box is the special file in New York.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Creed is sick of looking at the redhead all day, and wants a seat facing the receptionist. Nice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Actually, I have a separate folder for complaints against Michael. This is January through March of this year.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "You already did me. That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.17, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Wait. If someone has a problem with me, why would they withdraw it six months ago?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "What the hell! Here is a Kelly complaint. 'Ryan never returns my calls.' Join the club.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Dwight tried to kiss me. What? And I didn't tell anyone 'cause I'm not really sure how I feel about it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Someone complained that the men's room is whites only.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "I don't like you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "I sprout mung beans on damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Solution: Angela, you are to make sexually suggestive remarks to Kevin that will make him uncomfortable. I accept your decision.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "I never smile, if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "This is humongous. I am not a security threat. And my middle name is Kurt, not fart.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Four years of malfeasance unreported. This cannot stand. Either he goes or I go.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Cage matches? Yeah, they work. How could they not work? If they didn't work, everybody would still be in the cage.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Yes. 5 bucks each and it was totally worth it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "This morning I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer, and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer.", "c": ["Michael", "reading Dwight's complaint"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "When I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can.", "c": ["Michael", "reading Dwight's complaint"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "That actually took a while. I had to put more and more nickels into his handset, till he got used to the weight. And then I just took them all out.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "Yeah. I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom. And that's how I spent my entire day, that day.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "But the next day they feel great. I've never had one. They sound awful.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "I have a girlfriend. Sure you do, Dwight. Sure.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "One, two, three, smile. Try to smile. We resolved a lot today, everybody. Think happy thoughts.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "I'm the one who complained about you. I didn't know that Toby was going to write it down.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "It was really hard getting a good picture of 15 people. He would not give me a discount, and eight tries added up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "But here's the thing about cage matches, sometimes you have to open the cage. And that is something that Toby will never understand.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Conflict Resolution"}, {"t": "And I consider myself a great philanderer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Michael, because of you, some little kid in the Congo has a belly full of rice this evening.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "I would never, ever serve you. Not in a million, billion years.", "c": ["Unknown server"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "He was buried in it, so family heirloom.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Top 80%!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Jan, listen, I promise that I will kick it up a notch. Bam!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "not that I have you or have ever had you", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Good friends with privileges. Not now, some day.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Well, they need our money. They don't have cookies like the Girl Scouts.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Comedy's very much alive, as are homeless people.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Well, then, they need our money more than ever.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Should I keep going?", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Pam, these are people who have never given up on their dreams. I have great respect for that. And, yes, they're all probably very bad and that will make me feel better about not having dreams.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Well, you know. I have no future here.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Great song, Kev.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "We actually don't play in public very often. We are all really hoping that Pam's wedding works out.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Yeah, you haven't seen that since 1983. That is amazing.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Sometimes I don't put Michael through until he's already said something. I look at it as a practice run for him. He usually does better on the second attempt.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "It's still me.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to drop a deuce on everybody.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "That's how we do it in the paper biz. It's European and...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Code name RelMax is here. No sign of Lan Jevinson.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Michael said, 'We must deceive them, so as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago. You should see how many supplies I've taken from this place. Honestly, I love stealing things.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "And welcome to Monte Carlo!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Old friends, new lovers, and the disabled, welcome, all.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Black-Eyed Crows.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Well, Toby, I went all-in on the first hand, so doesn't that tell you that I might have good cards, too? So, don't be stupid. Just take it back.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "You really screwed that up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "If luck weren't involved, I would always be winning.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "What does that mean?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "'Yeah, right,' what? What was this?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Yeah, I think she's full of it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "One beer and one Seven and Seven with eight maraschino cherries, sugar on the rim, blended if you can.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Blow for luck! Yeah! Shooter! Also, you. Not playing favorites.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "The Hyatt in Wilkes-Barre? You staying with Michael?", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "I drove two and half hours to get here. Left work early, drove down here. And I am completely underdressed.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Yeah, why did you?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "I won the 2002 $2,500 No-Limit Deuce-to-Seven-Draw Tournament at the World Series of Poker in Vegas. So, yeah... I'm pretty good at poker.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "No, that's a flush. Oh, man! Oh, I have a flush! Yes! Look, I won. Look, I have all the clovers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Whatever. I'm in charge of the music.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "I'm in love with you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "What do you expect me to say to that?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Love triangle. Drama. All worked out in the end, though. The hero got the girl. Who saw that coming? I did.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "So, I've got my New York girl and my local flavor. Life is good.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "No, I didn't know what to say. Yes, I know. I don't know, Mom, he's my best friend. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, I think I am.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Casino Night"}, {"t": "Which means, at my ten-year high school reunion, it will not say, 'Ryan Howard is a temp.' 'Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm.'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "That'll show'em.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I think we're just drunk. No, I'm not drunk. Are you drunk? No.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "You're really gonna marry him?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Jim is gone. He's gone. I miss him so much. Oh, I cry myself to sleep. Jim!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "False. I do not miss him.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "No, that is the fun of this place. I call everybody 'faggy.' Why would anyone find that offensive?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "It wasn't just an action movie, it was 'Die Hard.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "You don't... you don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I have been calling people faggy since I was in junior high, and I have never made this mistake.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "You know? I'm just- I-I can't even imagine- the... thing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime, and you could tell me... how you do that to another dude.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let's do that.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm gay.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Hey, Big Tuna. You're single, right?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "She's completely crazy.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Steer clear, Big Tuna. Head for open waters.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I ate a tuna sandwich on my first day... so Andy started calling me Big Tuna. I don't think any of them actually know my real name.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I went to Cornell. You ever heard of it? I graduated in four years, I never studied once, I was drunk the whole time, and I sang in the a capella group, 'Here comes Treble.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "He's always looking at the camera like this. What is that?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Well, he's not dressed in women's clothes, so...", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Hey, what about Angela? She's hard and severe. She could be a gay woman. I don't know. I can imagine her with another woman. Can't you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Let's call him and get the website. What's gaydar? Oh, oh, gaydar, yes! No, uh, I think they have it at Sharper Image.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "It's sold out. Yeah, sorry about that. That's a bummer. Well, they're sold out. Damn. Try Brookstone.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Yeah, I didn't go through with the wedding. I got cold feet a few days before, and... I can't really explain it. I just had to get out of that relationship.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "and I have lunch for the next five weeks.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "It is so cool that you're gay. I totally underestimated you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Yes, I am super cool. I am an accountant at a failing paper supply company. In Scranton. Much like, uh, Sir Ian McKellen.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Sure, sometimes I watch 'Will & Grace.' And I want to throw up. It's terribly loud. I do like it sometimes, when Harry Connick Jr. is on. He's so talented.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Okay. Who put my calculator in Jell-O?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I need to know who put my calculator in Jell-O or I'm gonna lose... my freakin' mind!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "You know, it-it's amazing to me that in this day and age, you could be so... obtuse... a-about sexual orientation! I watch 'The L Word,' Okay? I watch 'Queer as [beep].' That's not what it's called.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Well, gay pride, right? Gay pride parade? It's not like... Gay Shame Festival.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Could Oscar and Angela be having a gay affair? No. Maybe. Is that what this is about? No. I don't. No. It's not possible. Anything's possible.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not gay, Jan, and you should know that better than anybody.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "The company has made it my responsibility today to put an end to 100,000 years of being weirded out by gays.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Am I the first gay man you ever knew? Trick question. Because you can't always tell, so how would I know? Was that the right answer?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "You know what? Gay porn, straight porn, it's all good. I don't particularly get into this, but, uh... You know what? I totally see the merit. And, actually... It is quite beautiful.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Did you know that 'gay' used to mean 'happy'? When I was growing up, it meant 'lame.' And now it means a man who makes love to other men.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "We're all homos. Homo sapiens.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Oscar, why don't you take this opportunity to officially come out to everybody here, however you want to do it. Go ahead. Stand up. I'm doing this for you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I am not offended by homosexuality. In the '60s, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.8, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I bet a lot of straight men wished that applied to them. So they could go out there and have some torrid, unabashed, monkey sex.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I think all the other office gays should identify themselves, or I will do it for them. No one else in this office is gay. What about Phyllis?", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "And frankly, kind of amazing. See? Everybody has a chance.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Of course, we all thought you were gay in high school. Yeah, right. Ha, ha! And I take that as a compliment.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I would be the most flamboyant gay you've ever seen. I would be leading the parade covered in feathers, and just... I'd be waving that rainbow flag.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "You're ignorant. And insulting. And small.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "You know what? I'm gonna raise the stakes. I want you to watch this. And I want you to burn this into your brains. Because this is an image that I want you people to remember. For a long time to come.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I did it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "What is love, anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules. Like me and Jan. Or Oscar and some guy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "That's what she said. Or he said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "It works. Heh.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Gay Witch Hunt"}, {"t": "I am going to be a father. What was Oprah about? Angelina Jolie was on.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Find out if there's a cheaper... Less expensive baby out there", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "I don't even know if I want a baby in eight months. Probably won't.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "If in ten years I haven't had a baby, and you haven't had a baby... No, Michael. 20 years. No, Michael. 30. Sure.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Three packs of condoms. Yeeeash.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "It is a booze-fueled sex romp where anything goes. You are correct sir! I am headed to Philadelphia for the annual Northeastern Mid-market Office Supply Convention.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "The poor man's Michael Scott, as he is known around my condo.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Don't monkey me. You can't wait to get out of here, ARM.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "In the Martin family, we like to say... looks like someone took the slow train from Philly. That's code for 'Check out the slut.'", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "He's a cartoonist for the local paper. Which is really neat, because I like to draw too.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Probably shouldn't broadcast that.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Wear your wedding dress. That would be a great icebreaker. And your veil. Yeah. Do it.", "c": ["Kelly", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Um... Um. Okay, um. Um. - You got that? I got it. Write it down. Um. Um...", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "I noticed you handing out some shekels. How would one get on that train?", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Andrea's the office bitch. You'll get used to her. Mmm. Creed.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Traitor! Traitor! Come here, you. Come here! Aaagh! The product... the progidal... My son returns.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "It's like with firemen. You don't leave your brothers behind. Even if you find out that there is a better fire in Connecticut.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "When I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were. And then he spoke.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "If I weren't engaged, I would so hit that.", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "The 800-pound gorilla in the room. Carol. I'm still dating her. So nothing can happen between us at the convention.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Step away from me, Michael. Thank you for being so brave with all of this.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "That is specifically why I chose a room close to the elevator. More foot traffic.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Oh, no, sorry, it's an inside joke. There was this bartender in Stamford who... You know what? You just have to be there. Wish I was. I love inside jokes. Love to be a part of one someday.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "SWAG! Stuff We All Get. I basically decorated my condo for free with all of my SWAG!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Why do they call him The Bus? Because he's afraid to fly.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "You don't have email on your phone. I don't have to, I just know. Yes, hello? No one just called you.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "I'll talk to my buddy down at the station stat. He wasn't volunteering today.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Um... I just completely forgot what I was going to say. That's so weird. Okay. Well, if you think of it, I'll be here.", "c": ["Roy", "Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the paper industry.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Opportunity, promotion. Blah blah. You know, Jim, those are just words. Have you taken into account other factors? Vis-\u00e0-vis bosses? Is Josh funnier than I am? Does he even have a girlfriend? Because I have two, basically.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. You'll have to put out.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "What, we didn't bet anything, Michael. Well, let's... You know, we should go. Come on, come on. Come on! We'll do it later.", "c": ["Josh", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Jim and I have different definitions of friendship. I think it's talking and being friends and Jim thinks it's moving to Connecticut and being best friends with Josh. Well... phooey on that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Maybe next time you will estimate me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Dwight got a hooker. Oh, my God, I gotta call... I gotta call somebody. I don't even know who to call. Dwight got a hooker!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "I don't like ketchup. You love ketchup. He loves ketchup.", "c": ["Allen", "Kelly", "Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "First guest! You are going to have some tequila, my friend. Um, I thought there was a party in here. This is the party.", "c": ["Michael", "Guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Because it could work on a couple different levels. People always say, like, don't be edgy. But, I don't know. I don't know any other way.", "c": ["Allen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "I think when I like someone again, I'll just kind of know.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "People have been filtering in and out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "I transferred because of Pam.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what? I will talk to her. No, that's okay. Yeah. That's all right. I will. I'll talk to her. You should at least talk to... Roy.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Some people need dozens of friends to say, hey, look at me, I'm popular. But not me. I'm very picky. I need three. Maybe two? When you meet that someone special, you'll just know. Because a real relationship... can't be forced. It should just come about effortledlessly.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "Blood, urine, or semen. Oh, God, I hope it's urine.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Convention"}, {"t": "The only cure I know for the Monday blues is Varsity Blues.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "with the exception of an episode of Entourage, which Michael made us watch six times.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Kevin? Would you like to do the scenes from last week? / Why him?", "c": ["Michael", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Not everyone approves of Movie Monday. I won't say who. / I don't approve. I don't.", "c": ["Unknown", "Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? / People work faster after. / Magically? / No. They have to, to make up for the time they lost watching the movie.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Do I need to hire a babysitter for you, Michael? / Kitchen. Some little 14-year old girl whose job it is, is to limit...", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also weak arms.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "but sometimes I just think you need to grow a pair.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high-pitched note and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And Pam called it Pretendonitis.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "It's just, I felt like it was time to maybe, just get new clothes.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "I'm just killing Germans any way I can. / We're on the German team. / Shoot the British.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Pull over at Exit 40. There is a Liz Claiborne outlet. I know you like that store.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Many of your blouses are Claibornes. / How do you know that? / It's part of my job. / No, it's not. It's officially not.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "I have to have an emergency crown put in. / Yes. / It's a new dentist. / He's far. I might be gone three hours. / Three hours? Wow! Have fun.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "New blouse? Halter-top? Camisole? Teddy?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "And I could care less about my co-workers.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, there's a new Ann Taylor outlet store near here. I know you like their earrings.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "She's my ex-lover-ish.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "It's too much. / What? I'm gonna return it. / No. You have to keep it today, just see how you feel.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "It's the new guy. / Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know what we're talking about. / See what I mean?", "c": ["Andy", "Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Andy, it's not... / I'm gonna kill you for real. / This game, the game is over. I'm really going to shoot you.", "c": ["Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Your dentist's name is Crentist? / Yeah. / Sounds a lot like dentist. / Maybe that's why he became a dentist.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Business is like a jungle. And I am like a tiger. And Dwight is like a monkey that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Pun.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "We don't have the technology.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "She demoted me. / No. / Yeah. / You know what the craziest part of this is? She demoted me to your job.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "I can't imagine this place without you. / Can't you? That's so nice.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Because Dwight never lies. / How does that qualify him to run a branch? / Because that's all it takes.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "I intend to lead you into the black with ferocity!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "I have this little old vacuum cleaner that's broken. If Dwight doesn't work out, maybe that could be manager.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "But you can be in charge of the women.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Psychopath.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "But you said you liked it. You've always admired it. / But that was before. I'm thinking about getting something German, something with decent gas mileage. Plus, that convertible is a ridiculous choice for this climate.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Please? Please? / I don't know if I can trust you anymore. / You can't. You can't, but I promise I'll never betray you again.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "And you can hug it out, bitch.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out. And in doing so, they just let it go. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I have found. Doesn't translate.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "But it turns out I was still a little angry and so I felt I needed to punish him just a little bit more. And I'm making him do my laundry for a year.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "The Coup"}, {"t": "Michael offering to get Ryan a pencil from the warehouse when pencils are clearly available in the office", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Someone immediately asking Michael to get a pen from the warehouse after seeing the pencil routine", "c": ["Michael", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Pam asking for coffee from the warehouse when there's coffee in the kitchen, but claiming warehouse coffee is better", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "I am like Bette Midler in For the Boys. Gotta keep the troops entertained.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael thinking Jan is calling because she misses him when she's delivering death news", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael's awkward announcement of Ed's death with inappropriate emphasis on corporate protocol", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Because he was my boss.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael inviting people to his office to 'cheer me up' after announcing a death", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "He was almost 70. Circle of life.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Jim's awkward silence and 'Okay' responses to Michael's casual death discussion", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Immediate cut to normal business discussion after death talk", "c": ["Josh", "Karen", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Suck up!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "My snack food doesn't fall under the umbrella of your authority.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Jim dramatically declaring they're not doing anything until Karen gets her chips", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Ed was decapitated.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.75, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "That is the way to go. Instant death. Very smart.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "You know, a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated. You're thinking of a chicken.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Not even have his own head to comfort him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael's clumsy explanation of decapitation while miming the action", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "If my head ever comes off, I would like you to put it on ice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Dwight's elaborate cryogenic resurrection plan after death", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "We have a day honoring Martin Luther King. But he didn't even work here.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael's robot statue proposal with arms that move and eyes that light up", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Better make it 2/3. Easier to stop if it turns on us.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "I gave him a six-foot extension cord, so he can't chase us.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Never pegged you for a quitter.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "The absurd chip search checking copier and fax machine", "c": ["Jim", "Karen", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Did you check your butt?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Creed's graphic description of blood reaching reception and getting on Pam", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "His cappa is detated from his head.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael spitting on Stanley while explaining decapitation", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael's talking head explaining the five stages of grief with his goal being depression", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael's overwrought grief description with bucket of boiling tears and frozen sledgehammer", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "And then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Jim rescuing Pam from grief counseling with fake car trouble", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "I was mainly focused on the cup holders.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Jim's elaborate fake phone call pretending to be Mike from West Side Market", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Dwight's twin absorption story delivered matter-of-factly", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 9.07, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Pam's Million Dollar Baby parody story about her boxer aunt", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Jim's Lion King story with cousin Mufasa trampled by wildebeests", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "All of us kind of in the audience of what happened.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Andy's Weekend at Bernie's story passed off as personal experience", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Wait a second. That's Weekend at Bernie's.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Toby's bird story and Michael's aggressive interrogation about checking its vital signs", "c": ["Toby", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael finding the bird and declaring it's not dead while holding it to his head", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "You can't get diseases from a bird!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael announcing a funeral service for the bird in the parking lot", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Jim calling a Montreal supermarket in French looking for Herr's chips", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael comforting the bird like it's grieving for Ed", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Angela's horror at Michael trying to fit the bird in a tiny box", "c": ["Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Dwight's farm background explanation and grandfather buried in oil drum", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "You never can tell what your day here is gonna turn into.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Jim's elaborate explanation of finding chips through manufacturer chain", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Pam's elaborate handmade bird coffin", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Kevin's story about being told his fish went to hospital in the toilet", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael's bird eulogy suggesting it might be the same bird that pooped on Oscar", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Michael's theory that the bird wanted to come inside to spread cheer with a song", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "It's not a songbird. Shh.", "c": ["Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "There is such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Grief Counseling"}, {"t": "Brain teaser sequence where Jim knows all the answers immediately", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Damn it!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Tell me what you did yesterday. Uh, nothing. Nothing? Yeah, nothing.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "I don't care how your day was either, Jan. I was just asking you because you asked me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "And Carol came over. And we had sex.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Never, ever, ever sleep with your boss. I'm so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Jan used to treat Michael like he was a 10-year-old. But lately it's like he's five.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Extremely excited? Just very. That's cool.", "c": ["Jim", "Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Is he gonna be a slacker-loser-wise-ass like Jim was, or is he gonna join the Dwight Army of Champions?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "When you are ready to see the sales office, the sales office will present itself to you. Your journey begins now.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Chair theft sequence with Jim and Pam", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Hey, Coselli! The Coz! The Cosby. Hey, hey, hey! I love Jell-O Pudding Pops! My son Theo love Jell-O Pudding Pops too.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "I hold in my hand a beet seed. Take it. When you... Damn it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "I'm acting my heart out here.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "I don't think you know what you're saying.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "It's called bullcrap. And a client can smell it from a mile away.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small. Drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive. And then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day... Well, I like pretzel day.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "But what they were rapping about was cupcakes and The Chronicles of Narnia.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "No, I'm not gonna settle down. No, no way. Uh-uh, boo! Get in the back, please. Boo! Back of the line!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "What a pair of Marys.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Ryan's sarcastic recounting of Dwight's mentorship", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Welcome to Schrute Farm!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Kelly singing with Jim trying to stop her", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "This is not a proportionate response.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Whatever happened to those guys?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Because I like them a certain way. And if it gets screwed up, then this whole thing's blown.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Pam, productivity starts with patience and determination.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "I'll be back.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Look, man. I was in a frat in college. So I know what you're doing. I get it.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "All toppings pretzel order", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Mose is my cousin, and he lives here. He will always be my best friend. Unless things go well with Ryan today. In which case I won't hang out with Mose so much anymore.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Wrong. Flash floods.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Depression? Wrong. He hated himself.", "c": ["Dwight", "Ryan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Loneliness. Maybe women.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Wrong. He's not afraid of anything. Also, I would've accepted snakes.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "You will now wrestle my cousin Mose!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "You're a freak. I'm not doing this anymore and this is over.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Ryan, just get in the coffin.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Something he whittled.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "You know, I wanted us to be a team. An unstoppable team that competed against other teams.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Screw gun! The sales call!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Deal or no deal? Let's make a deal. So what is the deal?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Michael always says K-I-S-S. 'Keep it simple, stupid.' Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Did you have a lot of sugar today, Michael?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "What's on your suit? Caramel dip.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Are we not? Are we not? Are we not? Are you with me? Are you with me?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "It's those online paper jerks. The whole business is changing. You know what? They're gonna be screwed once this whole Internet fad is over.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Ryan the Temp vandalism sequence", "c": ["Dwight", "Ryan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Just think. That temp agency could've sent you anywhere.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "I think about that all the time.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "How do you confuse 28 Days with 28 Days Later?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Fancy New Beesly would make that up. New apartment, new stories...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Most apartments these days have, like, three. Three kitchens? Yes. How are you gonna cook every meal of the day in one kitchen?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "364 days... Until the next pretzel day.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Initiation"}, {"t": "Nice dress, Ryan. It's not a dress. It's a kurta. Okay.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Tonight, one of our most ethnic coworkers, Kelly", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "What is Diwali, you may ask? Well, to have Kelly explain it, 'It's...' 'It's so super, fun. And it's gonna be great.'", "c": ["Michael", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "A lot of gods with unpronounceable names. 20 minutes later, you find out that it's essentially a Hindu Halloween.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "You look so handsome. You really do. I love the material. I know. How come you didn't get me one? I...", "c": ["Jim", "Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Do you want to make Appletinis and watch Sex and the City at my place?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Well, go with Dwight. He's single too right? Yeah, totally single. 100% available.", "c": ["Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "I don't know. Who's, uh, who's going? Ohh...you mean, like, is Pam going?", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Don't go. They eat monkey brains. Hey, hey, hey, stop that. That is offensive. Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do... sign me up. Because I am sure that they are very tasty. And nutritional.", "c": ["Creed", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "And you know what, Stanley? Come Kwanzaa time, I have got you covered, baby. I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. Really? You should. It's fun.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "I love the people here. And if there was one thing I don't really care for, is that they can be terribly, terribly ignorant about other cultures.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Um, Diwali is awesome. And there's food, and there's gonna be dancing. And, oh, I got the raddest outfit. It has sparkles...", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Um, why don't you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday? Oh, um, I don't know. It's really old, I think.", "c": ["Michael", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "How many gods do you have? Like hundreds, I think. Maybe more than that.", "c": ["Kevin", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "And that blue, busty gal-- what's her story? She looks like Pam from the neck down. Pam wishes.", "c": ["Kevin", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "All right, all right. This isn't Lord of the Rings.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Oops, sorry. I started biking to work. Josh does it. And he lives a lot farther away than I do.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Nice basket. Thank you.", "c": ["Jim", "Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Now, a lot of people say that Kelly is one in a million. And that's true, but it's also not true. Because, frankly, there are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar. He is a Nobel-Prize-winning physicist. Impressive. Apu, from The Simpsons. Hilarious Indian.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "M. Night Shyamalan. The Village, Unbreakable, Sixth Sense. I see dead people. Okay! Spoiler alert. He was dead the whole time.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Karen, my chips got stuck in the vending machine again. I need your... skinny little arms.", "c": ["Jim", "Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "We have such a roller coaster thing, Karen and I. Roller-coastery friendship. Hot and cold. On again, off again. Sexual-tension-filled type of deal. It's very Sam and Diane. From Cheers.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you 'The Kama Sutra'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "I mean, look at that. Who has seen that before? I have, that's the union of the monkey. Oh, that's what they call it. This is the best meeting we have ever had.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "I find this incredibly offensive. Well, I find it beautiful. Well, whatever Kelly wants to do in her own house is fine. But we shouldn't all be subjected to it.", "c": ["Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "My Indian cultural seminar was going great until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It's just sex, people. Everybody does it. I'm doing it with Carol. Probably tonight.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "I said, are you ready to part-ay!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Isn't this fun, not wearing shoes? I wish some of us still had our shoes on. Stop it. It's a disease. I've...told you.", "c": ["Michael", "Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "I thought you said this was a costume party. What does that look like to you? An Indian woman in a sari.", "c": ["Michael", "Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Hey, Kevin, it's a costume. You just cool it, okay?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "I'm a vegetarian. What can I eat? It's all vegetarian. I'll just have some bread.", "c": ["Carol", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "You used your hands. Oh, yuck. What, a little too spicy? These s'mores are disgusting. They're not s'mores. They're samosas. Do you think they have any s'mores?", "c": ["Carol", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "All they are is chocolate, graham cracker, and marshmallow. How difficult would that have been?", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "So...you're Kelly's sisters, huh? What? Rupa, Neepa, Tiffani. Stop acting like such little losers, and just be cool.", "c": ["Ryan", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "They said something about Zach Braff.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "I decided to come. I feel a little underdressed. But at least I'm not dressed like a slutty cheerleader, right? Is that mean?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Temp! Temp!", "c": ["Kelly's family"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Stop it, stop it right now. Ryan is a temporary worker makes no money. Wali is a whole doctor, so handsome, makes good money. You think I wanna date a doctor?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Hey, big tuna, you ready? Yep. One, two, three. Shot! Ohh! Holy mother of God. Ooh, that burns. Golly!", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Wow, thirty years. And you two only met once before the wedding night. Yes. Wow. How long have you been married to the cheerleader?", "c": ["Michael", "Elderly Indian Man"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Oh... She's not a cheerleader. She thought this was a costume party. Um, no, we're not married. Yet!", "c": ["Michael", "Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "So, tell me, is your marriage the kind of thing where when you die, she has to throw herself on fire? No? Okay. It's still very cool.", "c": ["Michael", "Elderly Indian Man"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Okay, I have learned a lot about Indian culture tonight. But I have learned even more about love. And I know you're all thinking, 'Who is this crazy gringo, and what is he talkin' about?' Well, I'm not crazy. Maybe I'm crazy in love.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Carol...Carol Stills.. I would like you... to do me the honor of making me your husband.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Oh, Michael What do you say? Can we talk about this in private? I didn't hear you. Can we talk about this in private? Oh, you gotta be kidding me.", "c": ["Carol", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "I get it You're not ready. We'll wait. This is our ninth date, Michael. Well, yeah, but I-- I feel like I've known you many lifetimes. Maybe I'm Hindu after all.", "c": ["Michael", "Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what? Why don't come with you? 'Cause I've got this book called The Kama Sutra. Okay, good night, Michael.", "c": ["Michael", "Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Well, I was a temp, but I got promoted. So, the compensation is a lot more competitive. So you're saving money now to start a family and home? Oh, or travel. And, and buy an Xbox.", "c": ["Ryan", "Kelly's Parents"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Can you believe my boss proposed to his girlfriend in public? That is so Michael. Is it? He's really outgoing, huh?", "c": ["Jim", "Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "It's hot in there. How's the naan? Dry. You looked like you were having fun. I am. You should come dance with us. I have to watch our shoes, so they don't get stolen.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Tuna! Are you kidding me?!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Pam... When Carol said no tonight, I think I finally realized how you must be feeling. We are both the victims of broken engagements.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Well, you were never really engaged. I was in that marriage arena, though.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "I kind of thought something would happen tonight too. We're so alike. So alike.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm rejecting your kiss. What?", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Can I have a ride home? If you sit in the back.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Hey, can I have a ride, man? I, uh, I have my bike. No way, dude. I am not driving home. I brought an inflatable bed for just such occasions. You're welcome to share it, though. It's a roomy twin.", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Hey, dummy, get the car. I'm a drunk driver. Yes, you are. Here, let me take that. Just, get in the car. You can really hold your liquor, though. Yeah, you can't.", "c": ["Karen", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "These are not my shoes.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "This is just like that show Taxi Cab Confessions. If you say one more word, I'm stopping the car.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Why not to Indians everywhere? It's a tribute to one of the greats. Mr. Adam Sandler.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Diwali"}, {"t": "Jim reveals he's been sending Dwight faxes from himself in the future about poisoned coffee", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Dwight knocking coffee out of someone's hand shouting 'Nooo!' then saying 'You'll thank me later'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I love to start my day with a hearty bowl of Jan. Just call me Levinson in the morning, baby.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "On whom's authority? The board's.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Am I a small number person or a severance package person? But you're a severance package person.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Call me. You got it, buddy.", "c": ["Kevin", "Unnamed character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "King of the stupid universe?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I know I hurt you. But please do not do this to me. Don't hurt me like I hurt you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "You think Stanleys grow on trees? Well, they don't. There is no Stanley tree.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Show me that farm. With Phyllises and Kevins sprouting up all over the place, ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. Right now, the title of Michael's book is Something Weird Is Going On. Colon: What Did Jan Say?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "The Michael Scott Story. By Michael Scott. With Dwight Schrute.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Rumor has it that the Scranton branch is 'gklch.' In your face. Sucka.", "c": ["Jim", "Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Are you okay? Yeah. Great, amazing. Best physical condition of my life.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you walk so slowly.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "It makes perfect sense that it would happen today because I just received this in the mail. 1,000 business cards with this address and phone number.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "If I get to stay and Ryan is laid off, I will kill myself. Like Romeo and Juliet. The Claire Danes one.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "It'd be like going to your high school reunion, and saying 'Hey, I missed you guys.' And then they're all like, 'Oh, don't worry about it. We're all gonna move in with you... forever.'", "c": ["Josh"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "So listen, I know you're seeing someone, but I'm still willing if you are. What... willing? You remember. Like six years ago we said that on our last day of work that we would... sleep together. Oh... God, uh, um, I did not say that. Was that not you? No, not... not me.", "c": ["Meredith", "Unnamed male character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Day just gets worse and worse.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "It's a blessing in disguise. Actually, not even in disguise.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "In my fantasy, I always thought I would slap someone, make a big speech and storm out forever. But this is good too.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I don't wanna work here without Pam. That'd just be like loading trucks without any meaning. You know?", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna take the severance and retire. My wife and I are gonna travel. I really couldn't be happier.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I wasn't. So you'll be okay too. You're a warrior. You're smart, capable.", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Actually, Bob Vance bought out the warehouse. So he's keeping on the whole crew. So we're good.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "This is my house. The CFO's taking away my house and giving it to Josh. And Josh is giving the garage to Bob Vance.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Um, like when you said the branch was closing?", "c": ["Unnamed employee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Shotgun! No, there's no one else. Still.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "You send him cards? You've never met him. Well, when I do, we'll have something to talk about.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I think it's for the best.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "This is exactly what Michael Moore does. Famous documentarian. He goes up to people with a camera, and he's like, 'Why did you do this? Why did you pollute? You are bad. You're a bad person.' It's very dramatic. Although I can't say I was a big fan of Bowling For Columbine. Because I thought it was gonna be a bowling movie. Like Kingpin. And it wasn't. It was something else.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I, um... will not be taking the job. W... Excu... why not? As of today, I have accepted a senior management position at Staples. Today.", "c": ["Josh", "Jan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "This whole restructuring thing was based around keeping you. Damn it, Josh.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Say what you will about Michael Scott. But he would never do that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Listen, Scott. It's no longer financially viable. We're losing money, okay? It's not a charity. It's a business. And it's a dying business. Look, the whole business model of the small regional paper company simply doesn't make sense anymore. Stop... stop it. Just... Okay, he's not gonna say any of that.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Don't touch me this time.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Kelly, best wishes. Love, Pam. P.S. What a long, strange trip it's been.", "c": ["Pam", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "No, no, no. Just, um, some personal stuff. And I'm not really ready to revisit that, I don't think.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Hey, did we ever have a conversation about doing something on the last day of work? Does that ring a bell? Do you remember hearing a rumor about me and anybody, last day of work? Something sexual? No.", "c": ["Michael", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Well, you know, I've got art school. Oh, that's... Yeah, of course, you should totally do that. That's a great idea. Yeah, um... I am already. I started a while ago.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "You can learn a great deal about a man from his trash. Case in point: Satellite TV bill. Hm, lesson learned: He's rich.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Coffee grounds. Was he enjoying a delicious hot beverage? Or disguising the scent of cocaine from drug-sniffing dogs?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "How 'bout Cooper's, then? No seafood. Well, I don't want to go to DJ's. Oh, now, all of a sudden, you get picky? Okay. Forget it.", "c": ["Multiple employees"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Hooters. No.", "c": ["Creed", "Female employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Your branch is not closing. Stamford is closing. Um, for the time being, it seems that all of your jobs are safe.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Is it because of Michael? Did he actually do something?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Cornell has an extensive alumni network so... We look out for each other. Probably go back and teach or something. Where'd you go to college? Hm, Cornell.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I just don't want it to be weird. You know? I mean, I took his old job and his old desk. Yeah, yeah, that might be weird.", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "We don't have to break up now, Ryan! Mm, mm, mm! It is the best day of my whole life.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "New York City is 45 minutes down the road from here. And you wanna move to Scranton.", "c": ["Karen", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Made like 1,200 bucks.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Can you be at my place in 20 minutes? Yes, I can.", "c": ["Meredith", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Then it was an honor to have worked with you.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "My first day, when you hazed me by spraying me with a fire extinguisher. That was hilarious. The foam.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "What about when Jan said the branch was closing? God, Dwight.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Hey, I hear Jim's coming back. Really? Where did you hear that?", "c": ["Kevin", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I'm, uh... I'm really glad you're still gonna be working here. Yeah, me, too. I mean, it'd... It's be a pain to have to find another job so...", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I think you should take it. Okay, yeah. Maybe I will.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm... I'm happy he said that. I mean, I don't think he's into me or anything. But... I'm kind of into him. So... there you go.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "I'm such a stupid idiot. I let everybody down. Everybody hates me. I lost everybody's jobs. Nobody likes me anymore!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Stamford is closed! Michael, we're not closed. Stamford is closed! Stamford is closed! We did it? We did it! We did it!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "How did we do it? I don't know. I have no idea. I don't understand.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Well, for a minute there, I saw myself selling my house, moving to Costa Rica, learning how to surf. But Costa Rica will still be there... when I'm 65.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Branch Closing"}, {"t": "Andy asking about Michael's 'favorite men's magazines'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy's sudden threat: 'Cross me and I will destroy you'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Dwight claiming he outran a black pepper snake and is 'somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Jim's talking head revealing the 'stopwatch' is actually a digital thermometer", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's ethnic speculation: 'Probably Italian. Possibly Filipina.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy's advice to fire Anthony Gardner based on Japanese camp guard philosophy", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy's follow-up confessional about being good at choosing who dies", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's instruction to set up food 'as if you were trying to impress a much older man who's way out of your league'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's 'World's Best Dad' mug justification", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Gift bags are 'just for guests' - existing employees can 'buy one later'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Tony's gift bag contains 'mostly pencils'", "c": ["Tony", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael asking Karen 'are you a robot or a Martian?' and 'Was your dad a GI?'", "c": ["Michael", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy's philosophy: 'Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake. I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy and Michael's 'nifty gifties' exchange", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Jim's fake introduction: 'I'm new here' followed by immediate acknowledgment of the obvious joke", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Dwight's intimidation attempt with forehead staring", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "The awkward desk situation resolution", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy vs Dwight title battle: 'Assistant Regional Manager' vs 'Regional Director in Charge of Sales'", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Dwight's movie expertise: 'I've seen over 240 of them'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Kelly's celebrity baby information dump", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's food restrictions: 'for you, consider it cow meat... poisoned beef'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's 'bore-ientation' pun dismissing Toby's materials", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's orientation video - 'Lazy Scranton' rap", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Jim's callback to 'The Scranton Witch Project'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's self-assessment: 'A-plus-plus' for his video", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Dwight coaching Karen's voicemail message to be 'more Italian'", "c": ["Dwight", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy's manipulation strategy talking head", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy's screensaver compliment to Angela", "c": ["Andy", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Jim's evolution from grape soda to bottled water", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Angela's breast on Andy's computer screen", "c": ["Andy", "Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Phyllis's pine perfume from 'metropolitan Orlando' and Bob Vance introduction", "c": ["Phyllis", "Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's 'Night at the Roxbury' reference and head bobbing performance", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's 'nose candy' comment making Karen itchy", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Tony's inability to get on the table leading to his resignation", "c": ["Tony", "Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael firing Tony for quitting: 'That's heresy, my friend!'", "c": ["Michael", "Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Angela's Hooters restaurant defense", "c": ["Angela", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's fake tire prank to unite the office", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "The fake hate note: 'You can never pull together as one and revenge us!'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration introduction pattern", "c": ["Karen", "Hannah"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Michael's lunch lady analogy for bringing people together", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Karen's corkscrew lobotomy phone call", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy vs Dwight car argument ending in coughing insults", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy's 'Cor-Not University' insult", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Andy's final confessional claiming victory in the argument", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Merger"}, {"t": "Hey, look at me! I'm a baby! I'm one of those babies from Look Who's Talking. What am I thinking? Look at all those staplers. What's a stapler? I don't even know. I'm a baby.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Hey, Mom! I'm thirsty. I'm thirsty, Mama. I want some milk. And you know where milk comes from. Breasts!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Awkward silence after Michael's breast comment", "c": ["Hannah", "Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist. I'm just kidding.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Oh, you are such a racist. Wait, why am I a racist? Because you think he's black. He is black, right?", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "like a white guy... who went to prison for polluting a black guy's lake.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "He was probably at a sporting event and saw some people pushing each other. And he intervened. Why would anyone go to jail for that?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "I am so horny.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Tell me about that Indian chick Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "That would be fun for no one.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Dwight's panicked overreaction to hearing about the convict", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsie.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "She loves hunting. She also loves those ads for Six Flags with the old guy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "And that anybody who doesn't is an ignorant, dumb person, okay?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "As a matter of fact, you show me a white man you trust, and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam, tell me a white person you trust. My dad. Danny Glover.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Jesus. Apollo Creed.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Close your eyes. Picture a convict... That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because... it sounds an awful lot like I what I do here every day.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "It was a little bit bigger than Michael's office. But you know, I really only slept there.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Kind of sounds like prison's better than Dunder-Mifflin. I would so rather be in prison.", "c": ["Kevin", "Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "You can't give paperclips to a baby. He could swallow. Oh, it's okay. I've got tons of 'em.", "c": ["Hannah", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Pam-a-lama-ding-dong. Listen, you're cute. There's no getting around it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Pam's stunned reaction to Andy's pig Latin approach", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "What is that, like, five pounds? It's two and half. I'm not going for bulk. I'm going for tone.", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "These people do realize how lucky they are. This office is the American Dream. And they would rather be in the hole.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice? Yep, that's perfect.", "c": ["Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "I'm Prison Mike. You know why they call me Prison Mike?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall, beeyotch?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don't drop the soap. Don't drop the soap.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Where did you learn all of this? Internet. So not prison. And prison. It's 50/50. Both.", "c": ["Kelly", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "I kidnapped the President's son and held him for ransom. That is quite the rap sheet, Prison Mike. An I never got caught neither.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Gruel sandwiches. Gruel omelets. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "The worst thing about prison was... was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place, and they were scary.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Dementors like in Harry Potter? No, not Harry Potter. There were no movies in prison.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "There were certain elements of what you performed I've seen on television, but it didn't remind me of my time in prison.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "They are such babies. I am going to leave them in there until they can appreciate what it's like to have freedom.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "They're teasing you. To be funny.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Time off for good behavior!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "And that is not because he is black.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "The Convict"}, {"t": "Don't worry. She's dead. Oh, wait... He's dead.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "It's a Christmas miracle.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "And circle gets the square.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Once, I brought in a duck to prepare for lunch. And people got upset. Apparently, they got attached to the duck and didn't want to see it killed. He was already dead.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Wow, win-win.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Clean it in your car.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Oh, Pam. Take a chill pill.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps... some Pam chops.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Well, that is probably from the test drive.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Yo, Michael. Sweet ride, Mike.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Oh, you're such a blonde.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "This is just the front of her. Show 'em... show 'em the other side.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "It's a picture of you and me and your kids on a ski trip, having a blast. 'Ski-son's Greetings.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Yes, but what you didn't realize at the time was that I was with you, in a sense. I was in your heart.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "It's a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. Is bold the right word?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "You need... to think this through in... Jamaica's largest freshwater pool.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "For the past few months, I've been sending Dwight letters from the CIA.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Last year, my boss, Michael Scott, took a day off, 'cause he said he had pneumonia, but really, he was leaving early to go to magic camp.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Sorry I didn't wrap it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Christmas is canceled.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Keep it up, Stanley, and you will lose New Year's.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Jim, take New Year's away from Stanley!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "All of your guests would have probably canceled at the last minute anyway. Leaving your life a stupid, rotten mess.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "It hurts my heart. It hurts my stomach. Hurts my arms.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Like maybe the real reason they left was because... there were things they wanted you to do in bed... that were... foreign and scary.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Take it from Toby.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Pam, would you like to go to Sandals, Jamaica with me?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "I thought you said green was whorish. No, orange is whorish.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "You tried this out. And it's clearly not for you. It's time to go.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "That Carol is one smart cookie.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "With Carol, I knew within the first 24 minutes of the second day I met her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "I think one of her cats did once. She came in with scratches all over her face.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "The Committee to Plan Parties invites you to a Margarita-Karaoke Christmas.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "What's your funding? $200. What's ours again? Um, $201.", "c": ["Angela", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "And then there's a way more fun party that starts at 2:45.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "As ranking number three in this office... Um, eh... I'm number three. You're number four.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "As ranking number two, I am starting a committee to determine the validity of the two committees. And I am the sole member.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "I've determined this committee is valid.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Come on, we're going to Asian Hooters.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Doctor appointment, car trouble, plantar warts, granddad fought in WWII. Use your head, man. I keep mine in here.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Bros before hoes! Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Then suddenly, she's not your ho no mo'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "It is my job to be there for Michael. How can I be there for Michael if I'm here for Michael?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "One part eggnog. Three parts sake! Some places won't make it for you, though, because eggnog is seasonal.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "I miss the days when there was only one party I didn't want to go to.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Actually, the usuba's the better knife when you're working with this quantity.", "c": ["Benihana Chef"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "I bet you break up with a guy every hour.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "About... your paychecks. Um... your paychecks will be arriving as scheduled on Friday. And they will be in the correct amount that they normally are in.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Double fudge... Angela.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "My sister and I used to be best friends, and we haven't talked in 16 years over some disagreement I don't even remember.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Hold its neck back, insert the knife beneath the jaw, bring it all the way around. There's gonna be a good amount of blood.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "They have been checking us out all night. I am not kidding!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "That's what she said? Hello!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "I don't walk into your house and steal your Hello Kitty backpack.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "You don't know? Dude, you should know. Yeah, well, it's been hard. They're wearing the exact same uniform. And I've been drinking. And you know how all... waitresses look alike.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "I honestly don't see what the big deal is. Stevie Wonder is married. Are you going to tell me that Steve Wonder doesn't love his wife just because he's not sure what she looks like?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "I marked her arm.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Or as my ex might say, 'Domo arigato, Mr. Scott-o.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "You have been compromised. Abort mission. Destroy phone.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "A Benihana Christmas"}, {"t": "Tape recorder. For what? For recording.", "c": ["Dwight", "Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Let the record show that Dwight K. Schrute is now completely nude and is holding a plastic knife to Stanley's neck", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Let the record show that Jim Halpert is a liar!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Dwight Schrute is now wearing a baby's bonnet... Jim Carrey just walked in", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "That is Animal from the Muppet Babies. You can't see my stomach...", "c": ["Jim", "Karen", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Hey, mon!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "At Sandals, Jamaica, when somebody says, 'Hey, mon,' everybody says, 'Hey, mon,' back.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "You are not as much fun as your Jamaican brothers, mon.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "He said it would be like we were living together in different houses, two blocks away.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Feelin' hot, hot, hot!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Why do you think so many businesses move to the Caymans?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "The Jamaicans don't have a word for 'impossible'. Yep, it's English. It's 'impossible'.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "All you need are some grass skirts, pineapple, poi, tiki torches, suckling pig, some fire dancers. That's all you need.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "No, that's a German woman named Urgle Grue.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Sex. Sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "They wouldn't give you a subscription to Maxim.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "I sent it to you at packer@dundermifflin.com... Packaging@dundermifflin.com... Uh-oh.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "How do I get you out of this picture?", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Call me if she rolls over.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "The filename is Jamaica Jan Sun Princess.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Unless you're willing to tell me everything, I cannot accept this assignment. Okay, then forget it. Okay, I accept it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Just yesterday, I untangled a piece of tape from her hair.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "How have we not talked about this already? I mean, what happened there? Kidnapping?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Well, this is probably the icebreaker you need.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Did you try the petting zoo?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "I've ran out of gas. I hit a deer. I hit... I hit a deer with my car. No. I hit a cat. Tell her I hit a cat.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Hit that corporate booty. Nice to hit it!", "c": ["Warehouse workers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Apparently, there is an e-mail circulating around that contains a very PG-13 rated picture of me and a woman. Jan. No, Kevin, a woman. Maybe Jan, maybe... Urgle Grue.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "The Days Inn Room 228 was staring to get really depressing.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "This is the greatest night of my life.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Who did this to you? Where is he?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "So you're PMSing pretty bad, huh?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "I was in Scottsdale, visiting my sister. Very sunny.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "I am attracted to you. I don't... I don't know why, I... But I am", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "And I to you, in addition, feel the same feelings that you are, as well.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "You complete me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "You remember when we were planning our honeymoon, and you wanted to go to Hawaii and I wanted to go to Mexico? I was definitely right.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "I don't have a lot of art.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Back From Vacation"}, {"t": "Jim calling a meeting and immediately pushing card stock in a deadpan, business-like manner", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Dwight recording the meeting 'For recording' with circular logic", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Jim fabricating increasingly absurd lies about Dwight being naked with a knife", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Dwight frantically denying he's naked and has a knife while being recorded", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Jim claiming Jim Carrey walked in and Dwight should get his autograph for Michael", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Muppet Babies tattoo reveal - Karen joins in and Jim confirms it's Animal", "c": ["Jim", "Karen", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Jim claiming to chainsaw off Phyllis' head with sound effects", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's immediate 'Hey, mon!' greeting and vacation persona", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Hannah quit and Michael might be deposed, but he only cares about Jamaica", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael forcing Pam to ask about Jamaica so he can gush about Sandals", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "The 'Hey, mon!' call-and-response explanation from Sandals resort", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Stanley's bonus complaint met with Michael calling him less fun than 'Jamaican brothers'", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Stanley's curt 'Nope' when asked if he wants to talk about it", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Karen living in a hotel and Jim's apartment proximity concerns", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael singing 'Feelin' hot, hot, hot!' off-key", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's talking head about Jamaica being 'impoverished' but 'great'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael wanting daily 3pm pi\u00f1a coladas but being told it's inventory day", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael specifically went on vacation to avoid inventory", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's theory about why businesses move to the Caymans", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Angela saying an end-of-day luau is impossible", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael: 'The Jamaicans don't have a word for impossible' / Pam: 'It's English. It's impossible.'", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's elaborate luau requirements list ending with fire dancers", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's 'No shirt, no shoes, no problem' sign and workplace attitude connection", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Everyone spotting Jan and Michael's panicked 'German woman named Urgle Grue' excuse", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Kevin", "Ryan", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's talking head about seeing Jan 'in our room at night and in the morning'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's repeated 'Sex. Sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Todd from Vance Refrigeration dismissing Jamaica for 'Hotlanta' where 'that whole town is waxed'", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Todd calling Jan 'The Ice Queen' and not buying Michael's story", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael accidentally sending intimate photo to Packaging instead of Packer", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Darryl's reaction to receiving the photo and Michael's mortification", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Darryl asking 'How do I get you out of this picture?'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Darryl already forwarding the photo despite Michael's correction email", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Todd's 'Call me if she rolls over' comment about the photo", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Jim admitting he's in a 'stupid fight with Karen'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Dwight's spy mission briefing about 'Jamaica Jan Sun Princess' filename", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Dwight refusing the mission unless he knows everything, then immediately accepting", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Pam's advice to go easy on Karen and her help with 'friends do' speech", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Pam's example of helping Phyllis by untangling tape from her hair", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Jim's comment about it being better than listening to Michael play conch shell", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Jim's 'How have we not talked about this already? Kidnapping?' reaction to Michael-Jan news", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Toby explaining HR disclosure requirements while Michael accuses him of being a 'skeevy little perv'", "c": ["Toby", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's 'two like souls having a romantic time in the most romantic place on Earth' description", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Angela asking about poi ingredients and pig availability at the petting zoo", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's elaborate panic excuses when Jan calls: hit a deer, ran out of gas, hit a cat", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Pam's confused 'Michael hit a deer?' after hanging up", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Warehouse guys celebrating Michael as a 'rock star' and 'the man' for the photo", "c": ["Warehouse workers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's damage control speech mentioning 'maybe Jan, maybe Urgle Grue'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael continuing to sing 'Feelin' hot, hot, hot' despite the crisis", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Dwight claiming credit for helping Jim with Karen, mentioning Days Inn Room 228", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Roy's injured face and Jim's protective reaction", "c": ["Roy", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Roy asking 'So you're PMSing pretty bad, huh?' to Pam", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Jan claiming she was in Scottsdale visiting her sister, not Jamaica", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Jan's speech about self-destructive tendencies and lowering expectations", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's response: 'And I to you, in addition, feel the same feelings that you are, as well'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Jan's 'Wait 15 minutes then meet me at your condo' instruction", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Michael's 'You complete me' Jerry Maguire reference", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Jan's disgusted 'Oh, God' reaction to Michael's movie quote", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Pam and Roy's honeymoon planning flashback with Hawaii vs Mexico debate", "c": ["Pam", "Roy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "Roy's plan to hang the Jamaica photo at home because he doesn't have much art", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Traveling Salesmen"}, {"t": "I am Harvey, a computer. Jim sucks.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "That's so rude. I'm sorry, I can't control him. / Yeah, you can.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Pam, you look very hot today.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Me so horny. Me love you long tim. / Who's Long Tim?", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Well, you should bring Long Tim in one day. / I'd love to meet Long Tim.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "You ruined a funny joke. Get out of my offfive.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Boobs!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Is it a big deal? / Is it, Kevin? / Do you really not know? / Because it is a big deal.", "c": ["Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "It's like we're touring Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and dropping off one by one. Well, guess what. I'm not falling in a chocolate river.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Hey, Dwight, pass the tardy sauce. Get it, Michael?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.2, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Michael Scott. PhD. Doctor of sales.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "We're the same age.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Pass. / You can't pass, You gotta pick somebody. / I'll take the kid.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "I was his second choice, after 'pass'.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Oh, young Jim. I was just... so much... I need to warn you about, and yet, tragically, I cannot.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Sebring, by Chrysler. A heck of a motor carriage.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "You guys are the retired marines. And, you guys are the mother and daughter. And, you guys are the gay couple. And, we are the fire fighter heroes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Then, how is this amazing race? / It's... just... It's Amazing Race, Phyllis, okay?", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "It's the safest part of a car. In the event of a crash, the driver always protects his side first.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "every success I've ever had, at my job or with 'the lady-folk,' Has come from my ability to slowly, and painfully, wear someone down.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Wow, that is a long story, but quite well told, Michael.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "I used to work at Abercrombie, So... pretty good folder.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Why are we turning in here? This is beauty salon.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Nothing would delight me more!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Leave the keys. / You still do that thing? / Leave the keys.", "c": ["Pam", "Roy", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Except for Dwight. He is kind more of a super dud. I mean, he'd be a super friend, if there was a Super Friends who has super power was always being late.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Hawkman.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "I have walked two marathons, so...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear. / Okay, but that still leaves a 30 percent chance that I'll attack you from the front.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "I caught an 80-pound shark off Montauk. It's in Hamtons. My dad's got a 42-foot Bayliner. Sniped it with a rifle from the crow's nest.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "We don't work out of a log cabin. We trade on the New York Stock Exchange. Ever heard of it? It's in New York.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "No, I swear, this guy could sell paper to a tree. / Stop it, stop it.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Oh man, talk about your classic lame-dash-o.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "This friend of mine? let's call her, Noelle. She missed this deadline... But then this gallant gentleman? We'll call him Kurt. he drove all the way to New York and handed it in for her!", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "I really Schruted it. / What? / Schruted it. This is the thing that people say in your office all the time. Like when you screw something up in a really irreversible way, You Schruted it.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "I don't know where the word comes from, though. I think it comes from Dwight Schrute. I don't know. Who knows how words are formed?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Um... Hi. Hello, Ryan. What do you have for us?", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "And you just said, 'Hi. Hi. Hi.' You sounded like my niece. And she's six months old!", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Dunder Mifflin customer service, this is Kelly. / Oh my god, Jim, how are you?", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "I never take vacations, I never get sick, and I don't celebrate any major holidays.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "He was hung up on Pam for such a long time... I didn't think he'd ever get over her.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "You can pay me back later for the makeover.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Why would Dwight go New York without telling anyone? / You think he went to see Jan?", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice... strike three.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "She could be a model. Or a college professor. Which is intimidating to a lot of guys.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "And where it asks you to state your business, he wrote, 'Beeswax Not Yours, Inc.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "That's what she said. / Don't you dare.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "I hate those two people more than anything in the entire world.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Did you ever have a thing for Pam? / Pam? Did I ever have a thing for her? No... Why, did she say something?", "c": ["Karen", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Although, I've loved this company more than almost anything in the world, I decided to step down from my post and spend more time with my family.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "But remember... while today it is me, we all shall fall.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Oompa loompa, doompadee dossum, Dwight is now gone, which is totally awesome. Why was he gone, he was such a nice guy. No, he was not, he was a total douche. Doompadee doom.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Dwight will be missed. Not by me ... so much, but he will be missed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "One of my life goals was to die right here, in my desk chair. And today, that dream was shattered.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "Well, happy's such an ugly word.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "The Return"}, {"t": "For your convenience, I've broken it down into three parts: professional resume, athletic and special skills resume, and Dwight Schrute trivia.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "How would I describe myself? Three words: hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "There's nothing on my horizon except everything. Everything is on my horizon.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Ooops. Break's over.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "All four parts. Recorded it on my computer. Took me forever.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "I called it myself. Just thought you'd get a kick out of the new ring.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "I'd just like to say I'm thrilled to be working directly beneath you. I feel I have a lot to learn from you, even though you are younger and have less experience.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Andy and the Tuna.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Andy and the Tuna...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "I miss Dwight.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Congratulations, universe. You win.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Was- the top salesman. I said, 'was'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Addition by subtraction. What does that even mean? That is impossible. Yeah, you're right.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Addition by addition.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "How was your gay-cation? That's very funny. Yeah, I thought of that like two seconds after you left.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "TGI Wednesday. Am I right? Yeap. Gonna go home, get my beer on, get my Lost on.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "I'll take that as a 'Maybe'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Where're you going? Bathroom. Oh, I'm about to go to kitchen. I'll walk with you.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Things are going pretty good. Getting a lot of face time with the boss.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Because I'm gay. No- no- Certain events have transpired, and I've thought about certain things.", "c": ["Oscar", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Can I join too? Never.", "c": ["Kevin", "Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Oh, that wasn't the night crew. That was Dwight. Really? It was very nice of him.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Feel ya, dawg. Yeah, do you? Absolutely. What did I say?", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "He's always up in my bid-ness, which is Ebonics for 'being in my face and annoying the bejesus out of me.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexicanness is what defines you, to me, and I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "So, Phyllis? I want you to go find firecrackers and a chihuahua.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey, into the office, like Pepe? Ah, a burro, of course. If Oscar wants a donkey, let's get him one.", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "I will literally be standing right here if you need anything at all.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "I think I could go for some tuna fish right about now. Got my rod here.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Each file is password-protected with a different mythical creature, so...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Who's that sportscaster that bit that lady? Marv something? Andy is like Marv something.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Do you want to pull a prank on Andy? Not right now. But ask me again ten years ago.", "c": ["Jim", "Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "I liked you better as the temp. Me too.", "c": ["Jim", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Oh sure. We talk all the time. Really? No. Don't- Don't do that. That's not nice.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Dwight had a big personality and I have a big personality, and a lot of times, when two people like that get together, it can be explosive.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Have you heard of paper? It's gonna be like that, huh? I don't like him, his giant head, or his beady little eyes.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Would you like to pull a prank on Andy? I'm kind of in the middle of ... yes, please.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Large Tuna, have you seen my cell phone device?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "[Phone ringing in ceiling - Andy looking around confused]", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "You know what? Maybe it's in the ceiling. You know what? Maybe you're in the ceiling!", "c": ["Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Oh my god. That's half-inch drywall. I think we broke his brain.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "You should come back. Please. I don't want to do your laundry anymore.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "Do you still have feelings for her? [pause] Yes.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Ben Franklin"}, {"t": "How do you know it's gonna be a boy? How... Would you stop interrupting, please?", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "And when I came to, I had an epiphery.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "I want my son to know the dealio. The dealio of life.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Then you take these and clip them wherever.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Number eight, learn how to take off a woman's bra. What... We will demonstrate on Pam. No. And... No. Come on. You just twist your hand until something breaks.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "What if he's a murderer? He's not gonna be a murderer. Maybe that's how you die?", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Prima nocta, I believe, from the movie Braveheart and confirmed on Wikipedia, is when the king got to deflower every new bride on her wedding night.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I had a very different understanding as to what prima nocta meant.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "It's a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour-long shower with guys.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "I've gotten pretty good at reading the back of Jim's neck.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Tall, queer, handsome as ever. 'Hey, everybody, it's me, Jim.'", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Either this chick is a dude or Halpert got scared straight.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "And what kind of stripper did you get? I did not order a stripper.", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Okay, co-ed naked strippers in this office, for realsies.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Under no circumstance should a man strip off his clothes in this office. Shut up, Angela!", "c": ["Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Good advice, Beesly. Thanks. See you out there? Yeah. Don't fall asleep at your desk!", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Ruddy cheeks, thick calves, no tats, no moles. No tats. No, tats. Of course, I want... Stop. That's disgusting.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "He hasn't even said a word yet. Just giggling.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Michael referred me to a male strip club called Banana Slings. Instead, I called the Scholastic Speakers of Pennsylvania.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, actually, I never was President. Yes, but Ben Franklin was.", "c": ["Ben Franklin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "'Is she hot?' Text back, 'Kind of.'", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Ben Franklin tied a cherry stem in his mouth! Well, that is because I am a Renaissance man.", "c": ["Party guests", "Ben Franklin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Who wants some man meat? I do! I want some man meat! Michael, Dwight would like your man meat. Well, then, my man meat he shall have.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I was confused by your phrasing.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "You know what I find sexy? Pam's art. She's an artist and I appreciate that. It's very moving and sexy, the art.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "You smell nice, like Tide. What's that? You smell like Tide detergent. Do you use Tide detergent?", "c": ["Bob Vance", "Elizabeth"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "And you are engaged and I'm sure you have a boyfriend in prison or something, so...", "c": ["Bob Vance"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "You want me to answer phones with my clothes on?", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Ben Franklin, you're really kind of a sleazebag.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "'Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone.'", "c": ["Elizabeth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "I don't care what Jim says. That is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "God, I need a boyfriend. You know, Ryan, I'm... I'm totally ready to be set up with one of your business school friends. Whenever.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "It really makes you wonder how Ben Franklin can become President, but someone like Elizabeth can't.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Phyllis Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, damn. I lost another file. Gonna have to reboot, again.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "In school, we learned about this scientist who trained dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell by feeding them whenever a bell rang. So, for the past couple weeks, I've been conducting a similar experiment.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Altoid? Sure. Mint, Dwight? 'Mint, Dwight?' Yes.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "What are you doing? I... What? I don't know. I...", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "My mouth tastes so bad all of a sudden.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Always the bridesmaids, right, ladies?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "She has asked me to push her father's wheelchair down the aisle. So, basically, I am co-giving away the bride.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Since I pay her salary it is like I'm paying for the wedding, which I'm happy to do. It's a big day for Phyllis, but it's an even bigger day for me. Employer of the Bride.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "It was the only way I could think to get six weeks off for my honeymoon. No one else has ever gotten six weeks before.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Phyllis ended up using the exact same invitations as Roy and me. So it was kind of like being invited to my own wedding. And I was like, 'Wait, I thought I called that off?'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "So, what's in the box? A toaster. You? A toaster. Unbelievable.", "c": ["Pam", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "You look as beautiful as the Queen of England. Thank you. Don't linger. Break left. Left.", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "The Schrutes have their own traditions. We usually marry standing in our own graves. It makes the funerals very romantic, but the weddings are a bleak affair.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "'P and R'? Phyllis and Robert? Oh, of course. Also, Pam and Roy.", "c": ["Jim", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I swear, Phyllis, you are as beautiful as the first day you started work at Dunder Mifflin. Thanks, Michael. That's sweet. Same as when you said it outside.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "If you need to vomit, that is okay. I did. Do you want to talk about tonight? No. Because I know you're probably worried about pleasing Bob. A lot of pressure.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Phyllis, did you break wind? It's okay if you did, it's a very natural reaction. It's your wedding, and you're nervous... That wasn't me. Okay.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I'm sure that Bob... Wow, that is... That is pungent. I lost my train of thought.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Are you set on that hairstyle? I thought it was... Michael, no... Here, let me. I don't need your help. Thank you, no. Just cover up that bald patch. Michael, please. I just need some time alone.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "You might be surprised to learn that I've only been to one other wedding. It's actually a very cute story. My mom was marrying Jeff, and they asked me to be ring bearer. And I was understandably emotional and somehow my pants became wet.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I hate you! A long story short, Jeff's dog ended up as ring bearer. And the irony is that, after the ceremony that dog peed on everything and nobody said boo.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Why are all these people here? There's too many people on this Earth. We need a new plague.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Because that's the thing about bear attacks, they come when you least expect it.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Once again, Jim, I will take care of this. I will locate the wedding crashers and report them to Phyllis. That way I won't have to get her a gift.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Kevin. Where did you find her? At the gym. Right. The gym...", "c": ["Kevin", "Unknown guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Could you scoot over? You're on my dress. I thought you're not supposed to wear white to a wedding. I know, but there was an emergency. I look really good in white.", "c": ["Angela", "Unknown guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "This strapping, young lad sitting here is Phyllis' father, Elbert, and he is quite the ladies' man. Aren't you, Elbert? Huh? Ring bearer. I could have done better. I will do better. I am going to be better.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "That's my dress.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "It's...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Me walking Phyllis down the aisle was supposed to be the highlight of the wedding. And now, the wedding has no highlight.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I can't believe I pushed that guy's lazy ass around all day until he was ready to stand up and steal the show.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Well, I've got news for you, Elbert, if that's your real name, the show's not over.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "And do you, Phyllis, take Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration, to be your lawfully wedded husband? I do. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, for the first time as a couple, Mr. And Mrs. Bob Vance!", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "And do you, Bob, take Phyllis to be your lawfully wedded wife? I do. You may now kiss the bride. Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time as a couple, Mr. And Mrs. Bob Vance!", "c": ["Officiant", "Bob"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "That's what I'm talking about!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Your dress is very white. It's so white, my eyes are burning. Thanks, Angela.", "c": ["Angela", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "But just know, if you ever lay a finger on Phyllis, I will kill you. If you ever lay a finger on Phyllis, I'll kill you. Agreed. No fingers will be laid on Phyllis.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Oh, decided to sit down again, huh? Great. Bet you can hear me, too?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Also, I'm gonna need to see a copy of the guest manifest as well as photographs of the caterers. I don't have that, Dwight. Damn it, Phyllis!", "c": ["Dwight", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "This must be so awful for you. What do you mean? Well, this is supposed to be your wedding. Oh! No, that's actually fine. There's no way it's fine. I'm sorry. If I was you, I would just, like, freak out and get really drunk and then tell someone I was pregnant.", "c": ["Karen", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Excuse me, sir, how do you know the happy couple? Who? The bride and groom. What are their names? I don't... I'm not sure... I get it. I get it. Come on, freeloader. Let's move it.", "c": ["Dwight", "Unknown guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Why don't you find your seat and enjoy the buffet. I'm already on it. The chicken? Totally undercooked. I sent it back. It's fish. I will take care of that.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I do. I know a fair amount about fine food and drink. This is a white.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "This is not our first wedding. This is the third wedding that Scrantonicity has played. We also played our bassist's wedding and our guitarist's wedding.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Attention, everyone. Attention, please. I'm supposed to ask if anyone has seen Uncle Al. He is old and has brown eyes and dementia. His family is very concerned. It's a very serious situation.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I know I don't normally notice these kind of things, but this wedding's really nice. I mean, the flowers and stuff. Phyllis has got some great taste. You're kidding me, right?", "c": ["Roy", "Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I know you probably aren't gonna remember this, but, those color roses, I got you those color roses for our prom. Roy, I picked those flowers. Phyllis just stole all of my ideas for our wedding.", "c": ["Roy", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I guess I wasn't really too involved in the planning. Yeah. Sorry about that. It's okay. Well, you think it sucks for you? I'm the one who actually wanted to get married.", "c": ["Roy", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Phyllis, you're a wonderful woman. And you're a hell of a bowler! Cheers. Thank you, Randy. That was great. Thank you.", "c": ["Randy", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Michael Scott. And, for the next 40 minutes, I am going to be your tour guide through the lives of Phyllis Lapin and Bob Vance, one of the great, seemingly impossible, love stories of our time.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Webster's dictionary defines wedding as 'the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.' Well, you know something? I think you guys are two medals, gold medals.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "The most important part of a speech is the opening line. When time is not a factor, I like to try out three or four different ones.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Phyllis and Bob, their celebrity couple name would be Flob.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "You look at her, and she's kind of matronly today, but back in high school, I swear her nickname was Easy Rider.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I didn't say anything when Phyllis's dad upstaged me at the ceremony. And I think you owe me this, okay? Give me the microphone. No, I'm not going to. Michael, give me the microphone. It's okay. You're out of here.", "c": ["Michael", "Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I hate you!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "When are we gonna get to see some of those famous Beesly dance moves? I'm pacing myself. Come on. Get out there. Give the people what they want. No. I'm such a dorky dancer. I know. And it's very cute.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Hypothetically, if I thought Pam was interested, then, no, it's totally hypothetical.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Come on. I can't let you in, Michael. Dwight, just... No. It's Bob and Phyllis's orders. Look, I just wanted to go in and quietly sit, and have a piece of cake. I'm not even gonna dance, one song, maybe...", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "You are a real life wedding crasher and I must bounce you. I'm sorry, it gives me no pleasure.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Hey! They're playing our song, huh? Yeah, that's weird. I thought they only played The Police. I know. I... I gave them 20 bucks.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "You wanna dance?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Hey, you wanna get out of here?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Here's a non-hypothetical, I'm really happy I'm with Karen.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Toby... Yeah! I just want Phyllis to have a great day. Phyllis and you will be great together. We are great together. We are a great team. The Celtics were a great team. Yes. Yes, they were. Robert Parish...", "c": ["Toby", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "I should talk to her. I don't want this to ruin her honeymoon. Well, nobody ever helped me. I had to do it myself. Even the doctor didn't know. Dude, keep it together.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Phyllis? Phyllis, wait, please. I'm sorry. I just... I just wanted to make this a day to remember. You found Uncle Al! Yeah, yeah. He's kind of a weirdo. Thank you, Michael.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say, that's crazy. I say, 'Let them eat cake.' Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Be careful with the... No! Oh, wow! Phyllis. Phyllis, come on. You look like a clown. Here. Oh, get me. Get me!", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Business School"}, {"t": "Kevin arrives late claiming tire blowout and near-death experience, Michael immediately dismisses with 'Pop quiz'", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Ryan's increasingly elaborate titles: 'visiting professor' to 'Special lecturer emeritus' to finally 'quest speaker'", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Ryan's confession about bringing boss for automatic grade bump", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's comparison to 'cool teacher' Mr. Handell who 'hooked up with one of the students' and had 12 others come forward", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Dwight's life philosophy: 'Don't be an idiot' / 'Would an idiot do that? If they would, I do not do that thing'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's hat-throwing graduation fantasy and prepared line 'May your hats fly as high as your dreams'", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Roy calling Pam 'spazzy boy' and 'little spazz' while she's driving", "c": ["Roy", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Pam's talking head about 'maturity and dignity' ending with 'Is that braggy?'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Jim's talking head: 'Brangelina is with Frangelina. Moving on.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael on campus: 'Brings back so many memories... That I would've made.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's failed Frisbee attempt and students' dismissive 'Dude'", "c": ["Michael", "Students"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Dwight's deadpan 'Animal stool.' observation", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Dwight's 'Come to papa' before discovering the bat", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Mass panic and screaming when the bat is revealed", "c": ["Office ensemble"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Ryan's harsh critique of Dunder-Mifflin while Michael can't hear but watches excitedly", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Office having bat problem with no openable windows, followed by 'Poop is raining from the ceilings. Poop!'", "c": ["Jim", "Creed"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Jim's vampire transformation: feeling 'tingly' and 'strangely powerful' after bat bite", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Ryan introducing Michael as 'Michael Scoot' instead of 'Scott'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's textbook destruction speech: 'You cannot learn from books' while literally tearing out pages", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's business categories: 'Tourism, Food service, Railroads, Sales, Hospitals/manufacturing, And air travel'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Jim's vampire symptoms: bread is 'white-hot' to him but cold to others", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Dwight's vampire logic: 'If a vampire bat was in the U.S., it would make sense for it to come to a sylvania. Like Penn-sylvania.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's candy bar business lesson: 'thingamajig,' 'whosi-whatsi,' 'whatchamacallit' leading to 'PayDay' and '100 Grand' and 'Satisfied?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's computer dismissal: 'great for playing games and forwarding funny emails. But real business is done on paper'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Jim's vampire symptoms: headache from Angela's crucifix glare", "c": ["Jim", "Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Dwight's werewolf hunting story: 'I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's customer retention philosophy: 'We don't want them back. They're stupid.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's 'Polack-says-what' response to business school jargon", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Creed's triumphant 'I am a hero' after presumably killing the bat", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's meltdown: claiming Dunder-Mifflin faces 'Al-Qaeda, Global warming, Sex predators, Mercury poisoning'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's Ryan roast: 'Ryan has never made a sale. And he started a fire trying to make a cheesy pita'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's business philosophy: 'Business is always personal. It's the most personal thing in the world.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Jim's vampire exit: needs to go home, draw shades, 'There's just so much sun in here'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Dwight's dramatic farewell: 'Jim is on a path now. An eternal journey. And I wish him well.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Roy's disappointment that no one from work came to Pam's art show", "c": ["Roy", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Meredith's bat attack and Dwight's 'rescue' - physical comedy chaos", "c": ["Meredith", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Roy's dismissive 'It's cool if I go, right?' at Pam's art show", "c": ["Roy", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Jim's art critique: 'Your art was the prettiest art of all the art'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Roy's harsh art criticism: 'On Van Gogh's first try, he drew the hands of the peasants' and calling Pam's work 'motel art'", "c": ["Roy", "Gil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's enthusiastic art praise: 'My God, these could be tracings!' and 'You nailed it!'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael wanting to buy Pam's building painting and his excitement recognizing office elements", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's pocket contents reveal: 'Chunky' candy bar", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's paper philosophy: 'It is a message. It is an inspiration. It is a source of beauty'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Michael's camera deflation: 'Unless you had a camera'", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "Kelly's extreme reaction to Ryan's punishment: repeated 'Oh, my God' and 'I won't, I won't, I won't'", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Cocktails"}, {"t": "A lot of people think that magic camp is just for kids. And that's why so many other people in my class were kids.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "And a little extra time after school.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "And now, Michael the Magic will attempt to escape from extreme bondage.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "I know how. He'd dislocate his shoulder and slip his arm out.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "So we shouldn't help you no matter how much you might beg and plead.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Help. Separately, on an unrelated note, if you happen to find a small brass key...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Early worm gets the worm. Another worm? Like, are they friends?", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Good, not great.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "CFO, not his initials, common mistake", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Didn't expect to need a reason, so, let me think here. I don't know any of these people. It's an obligation. I don't like talking paper in my free time. Or in my work time. And... did I use the word 'pointless'?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Really didn't give it any thought.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Okay, let's just go to a motel... And, like, rip into each other like we did on that black sand beach in Jamaica", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "My brother just unloaded the Jet Skis and he kinda took a bath, so... We're gonna go get hammered.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Okay, well, we're going to a bar.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "And, don't call me Pamie.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "You're dressed exactly like the servants.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "I don't think your's will fit me. I don't care.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Actually, it's polite to arrive early. And, smart. Only really good friends show up early. Ergo de facto, go to a party early become a really good friend.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "No, it's not. It's my bowl.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Sun beating down on the mayonnaise... Just... you never know.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "It's complicated. I would appreciate some space on this.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "That's feces.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "I am taking a calculated risk. What's the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside, I, uh- date Michael Scott publicly. And collapse into myself like a dying star.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "That's what she said. Oh, my God. What am I saying? I love this woman!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Do you ever watch Battlestar Galactica? No? Then, you're an idiot.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Jan and I are lovers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "'Like butter.' Mike Myers, SNL", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "And, there's one in anger management.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "I could go for an appe-tease-er, yep.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Dwight, wow- that's not appropriate. I don't know. It's a common question.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Here is to Mr. Iacocca and his failed experiment, The DeLorean.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "I can read you like a book. Oh, yeah? You can't keep anything form me.", "c": ["Roy", "Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the sheriff's station.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "These studs are way too far apart.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "They don't allow kids at Sandals. They are- are persona non grata.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "No means please don't. Slam me up against the wall, right here.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Hey, who makes this chair? I don't know. It was here when I was born.", "c": ["Dwight", "Rachel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "What do you know?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Have you dated like every guy here? Wow. Okay. You got me. I so got you. So, none of them. Of course not. I mean, you're kind of like, my first.", "c": ["Jim", "Karen"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Rachel thinks that I brought homemade potato salad. And I just picked it up at the supermarket. It's funny, I wish I could make potato salad that good. It's just potatoes and mayonnaise.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "I found some termite damage in a crawlspace and some structural flaws in the foundation so all in all... it was a pretty fun cocktail party.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "I kissed Jim. What? He told me how he felt, and I guess I had feelings too, and we kissed.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Damn Jet Skis!", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Our first fight.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "I want the house, Jan! I want the picket fence. I want the ketchup fights, and the tickling, and the giggling.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Don't break up, you guys. You're great together.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Jet Ski money? All of it. I'm gonna kill Jim Halpert.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Negotiation"}, {"t": "Drew. I'm Drew now. / Oh... Drew. / Sorry. / Apology not accepted.", "c": ["Andy", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "And... a bunch of new techniques for dealing with the grumpies.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "You can call me Drew. / No, I'm not gonna call you that. / Cool. I can't control what you do. I can only control what I do.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Andy, Dwight says welcome back, and he could use a hug. / Okay, tell him that that's not true. / Dwight says that he actually doesn't know one single fact about bear attacks.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Tell him bears can climb faster than they can run. / Jim! / Andy... Nah, that's too far.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "And if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "I thought your name was Pudge. / No, it's always been Madge.", "c": ["Michael", "Madge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled... 'Hey, Darryl, how's it hangin'?'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Bail 'er? I hardly know her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Ever since March Madness ended, I am so bored.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "It's a big, red trash compactor. / It's not a trash compactor! It's a bailer.", "c": ["Michael", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Toby now has the floor. And he is going to try not to screw this up. Like everything else in his life.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Wow, that is... that time really adds up. That's like a half an hour every hour. / Take them at the same time.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Like sometimes, computers can explode. / Can they not? / No, no.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "What about a long-sleeved tee? / Well, that'll work. / Long johns? A shawl?", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Sedimentary. / Sedentary. / Yes, 'which can contribute to heart disease.' / Heart disease kills more people than bailers. / That's called having a fat butt, Michael.", "c": ["Toby", "Michael", "Darryl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Sea Monster, you weigh, like, 1,000 pounds. / Yeah, I bet you'd like to swim with this sea monster, wouldn't you?", "c": ["Kelly", "warehouse worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "You live a sweet little NERF-y life. Sittin' on your biscuit. Never havin' to risk it.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "I worked in a warehouse... Men's Wearhouse. I was a greeter.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm Michael. Welcome to Men's Wearhouse. We have a special on khaki pants today.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "51. / Oh, don't be that person. / Come on, that is lame. / It's a strategy. / It's called being smart.", "c": ["Oscar", "others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "He has spent hours up here at reception with you. Hours and hours. / Okay... okay. / No, constantly... like, for years.", "c": ["Angela", "Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Nobody commits suicide because they work with a bailer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "You go to the science museum and you put your hand on a metal ball. Your hair sticks up straight. And you know science.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Because you know what our killer is? Depression. Wolves. Depression.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "And I jump. And they freak out. And they get to see the dangers of depression with their own eyes. Nice side note... they might think, hey, I should've been nicer to Michael. But that's not why I'm doing this.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Ta-freakin'-da!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Ryan describing Netflix queue management in elaborate detail while others time him", "c": ["Ryan", "Jim", "Pam", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "You're such a ditz.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Maybe we should test this first, Letterman-style. Throw a TV over. / We measured it once. / Go buy some watermelons. / Seedless?", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight", "Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "I found a potato.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Car alarm and crash aftermath response", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini. See if he handles hate crimes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Have Patch do it... or the sea monster.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "I'm temporarily lifting the shun. / Thank you. / It means nothing.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "You mean a moon bounce? / What do you think? You've got an hour. / I'm gonna need petty cash. / Shunning resumed.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Do you... do you want a drawbridge? / Un-shun. / Yeah, that sounds good. Re-shun.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "When you land, try and land like an eight-year-old. These bouncy castles are not designed for adults.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "If we keep doing them, I'm not gonna want to jump. / This is about doing, not thinking.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Is it nice outside? / It's gorgeous. Let's go! / Do I need my jacket? / No, really, it's very nice. / Will I be too warm in a long sleeve T? / Everyone's gonna be fine in exactly what they're wearing! Let's go!", "c": ["Stanley", "Andy", "Phyllis", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out? / Dwight, you ignorant slut.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "If someone gives you 10,000 to 1 on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a very rich dude.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Well, you know, the first performance was a little off. But I really think they hit their stride in the second show. / Um... / Might even bring my parents tomorrow to the matinee.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Hey, check it out. There's a castle over there. / Oh, my God. There is a castle. / No, there's nothing to see over there, people. There's nothing to see.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "He's going to kill himself pretending to kill himself.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "It's, uh... A Repliee Q1 Expo female robot. They're only available in Japan. / Dwight, you are such a liar.", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "You told me that I lead a... a cushy, wimpy, NERF life. / Yeah, but I never said you had nothing to live for.", "c": ["Michael", "Darryl"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "I mean, it takes courage just to be you. To get out of bed every single day knowing full well you gotta be you. / Do you really mean that? / I couldn't do it. I ain't that strong and I ain't that brave.", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.82, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "You Braveheart, man. / I Braveheart. I am.", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Am I a hero? I really can't say. But, yes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Safety Training"}, {"t": "Drew. I'm Drew now. / Oh, Drew. Sorry. / Apology not accepted. / Because it wasn't even necessary in the first place.", "c": ["Andy", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "new techniques for dealing with the grumpies", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "No, I'm not gonna call you that. / Cool. / I can't control what you do. I can only control what I do.", "c": ["Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "It's like slapping someone with silence.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Andy, Dwight says welcome back and that he could use a hug. / Tell him that that's not true. / Dwight says that he actually doesn't know one single fact about bear attacks.", "c": ["Jim", "Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Tell him that bears can climb faster than they can run. / Jim, tell him! / Andy... No, it's too far. / Damn you.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Pudge has driven the forklift. / Madge. / I thought your name was Pudge. / No. It's always been Madge.", "c": ["Michael", "Madge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Her? Yes, 'Her' is qualified to work a dangerous machine. You are not.", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Hey, Darryl, how's it hanging?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Bale 'er? I hardly know her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Ever since March Madness ended, I am so bored.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "It's a big red trash compactor. / It's not a trash compactor! / It's very dangerous, okay. / Don't disrespect a baler, Mike.", "c": ["Michael", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Toby now has the floor and he is going to try not to screw this up like everything else in his life. / Let me rephrase that. / I believe that you can do safety training and make it sound just as good as Darryl.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "That's like a half an hour, every hour? / Take them at the same time.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Like sometimes computers can explode, can they not? / No. No.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Long johns? / A shawl?", "c": ["Kevin", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "sedimentary lifestyle / Sedentary.", "c": ["Toby", "Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "That's called having a fat butt, Michael. / No. No, it's sedentary. / Yeah, that's fat butt disease. / That's what you suffer from? / You have fat butt disease, Michael?", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Excuse me, sea monster, you weigh like a thousand pounds. / Yeah? Yeah. / I bet you'd like to swim with this sea monster, wouldn't you?", "c": ["Michael", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "You live a sweet little nerfy life sitting on your biscuit never having to risk it.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "What? So, Nerf isn't cool anymore?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "I worked in a warehouse. Men's Wearhouse. I was a greeter.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm Michael. Welcome to Men's Wearhouse. We have a special on khaki pants today.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "He has spent hours up here at reception with you. Hours and hours. / Okay. Okay. / No, constantly. Like for years.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Nobody commits suicide because they work with a baler.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "and your hair sticks up straight. And you know science.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Indubitably.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Depression. Wolves. / Depression.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "A depression quilt. / No time to sew a quilt.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Additionally, Pam, you win $10 because she said 'awesome' 12 times. And Jim, you win $5 because she mentioned six romantic comedies.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Seedless?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Creed is eating an apple. / I found a potato.", "c": ["Kevin", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini, see if he handles hate crimes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Have Padge do it or the sea monster.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "I need you to acquire an inflatable house and/or castle. / You mean a Moonbounce. / What do you think? You've got an hour.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Do you want a drawbridge? / Un-shun. / Yeah, that sounds good. Re-shun.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "When you land, try and land like an eight-year-old. These bouncy castles are not designed for adults.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Michael is awesome / Jumping off the roof / Bouncing on a bouncy thing / Show them who is boss / Rip a hole in the sun!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Un-shun. I think he's suffering from depression. Re-shun.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Un-shun. Never. Re-shun.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Will I be too warm in a long-sleeved tee? / Everyone's going to be fine in exactly what they're wearing! Let's go!", "c": ["Angela", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out? / Dwight, you ignorant slut.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a very rich dude.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Dwight, you ignorant slut!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Well, you know, the first performance was a little off, but I really think they hit their stride in the second show. I might even bring my parents tomorrow to the matinee.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Hey, check it out, there's a castle over there. / Oh, my God, there is a castle. / No. There's nothing to see over there, people. There's nothing to see.", "c": ["Ryan", "Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "They found the castle, Michael. / Damn it!", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "He's going to kill himself pretending to kill himself.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Hey, Michael, don't jump on the bouncy castle. You can't do that 'cause you're going to get horribly, horribly injured.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "A Repliee-Q-One-Expo female robot. They're only available in Japan. / Dwight, you are such a liar.", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "You told me that I lead a... A cushy, wimpy Nerf life. / Yeah. / But I never said you had nothing to live for.", "c": ["Michael", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "The sex isn't nearly as good as it used to be.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Mike, you're a very brave man. I mean it takes courage just to be you. To get out of bed every single day, knowing full well you got to be you.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "I couldn't do it. I ain't that strong and I ain't that brave. / I'm braver than you? / Way braver. / You Braveheart, man. / I Braveheart. I am.", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Am I a hero? I really can't say, but yes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Product Recall"}, {"t": "Dwight's elaborate demerit system that eventually leads back to Michael", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "What's a dis... what's that? Oh, you don't want to know.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "The guy was just hanging brain. I mean, what's all the fuss? If that's flashing, then lock me up.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Phyllis, you say? Hmm. What is so funny? Um... I mean, did he even see Pam? Or, uh... Karen from behind? I'm guessing not.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Waagh! Hey, what's going on?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Prove it. Let's see your penis. I... you know, as that was coming out of my mouth, I knew that it was wrong.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "For example, Jan and I have a safe word in case things go too far. Foliage. And if one of us says that word, the other one has to stop. Although last time... she pretended she didn't hear me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "I'll give you $200. And if I get up before you, I'll leave it on the dresser.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Better 1,000 innocent men are locked up than one guilty man roam free.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "There are several penises there I'd love Phyllis to run her eyes over.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Pam. You can draw, kind of. Why don't you work with Phallus on drawing a picture of the exposer... Phallus? Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "I wish someone had flashed me when I was with Roy. Because that would have been the ass-kicking of the year. Especially if it had been Jim.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "He would not have wanted me to have seen Jim's... Whoo, I am... I am saying a lot of things.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Why don't you just take these women, put 'em in a burlap sack, and hit 'em with a stick? Because that's what you're doing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "If Pam wants to show more cleavage, she should be able to. I encourage that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Did I come from a woman? Have I slept with a woman? More than one? Mm, less than three.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "a penis, when seen in the right context, is the most wonderful sight for a woman. But in the wrong context, it is like a monster movie. Alien. Blagh!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "I wish I could menstruate. If I could menstruate, I wouldn't have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I'd just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus, I'd be more in tune with the moon and the tides.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.72, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "There are petite adults who are sort of... smaller who need to wear... maybe a kids' size 10.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "You wanna go in the women's bathroom? Not really. I've seen a bathroom before. Yeah, but... it's every guy's fantasy.", "c": ["Creed", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Oh... my... God.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "That's because you're a preppy freak, you're the office pariah, and nobody likes you.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Don't think she's gonna make it...", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Nothing... I think, uh, we all kinda thought you guys were just, like, hooking up. No, we've been dating for six months.", "c": ["Jim", "Halpert"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "What, um... what do you think of role-play? Oh, it can be fun. Yeah? Well, Jan has this schoolgirl fantasy. It's a pretty common one. I just... I feel uncomfortable wearing the dress.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Sometimes, the clothes at GapKids are just too flashy. So I'm forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "she likes videotaping us during sex. Oh, my God. And then watching it back right afterward to improve my form. That is not healthy behavior. No, it's not that bad. The worst part is that she shows it to her therapist and they discuss it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Cons. Wears too much makeup. Breasts: not anything to write home about. Insecure about body. I'm unhappy when I'm with her. Flat-chested. What was the last one? She's totally flat. Shrunken chesticles. No, the one before that. I'm unhappy when I'm with her.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Don't think, just answer. What do you want to do about Jan? I wanna break up with Jan. Wow. I wanna break up with Jan.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "for me, a woman looks best when she is just absolutely naked.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women's room for number two. I've been caught several times and I have paid dearly.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "I'm kind of in-between boyfriends right now. So I don't need anything sexy. But I do need some new hand towels. I figure I can cut up this robe.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "You know, I changed a tire today. All by myself. This bathrobe's already coming in handy.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Oh, just so you know, it's not me, it's you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "I wished for Jan to get over me. I wished for Phyllis, a plasma TV. I wished for Pam to gain courage. I wished for Angela, a heart, and for Kelly, a brain.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Well, maybe I learned something from women after all.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "In the women's bathroom, above the sink.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Pam!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Womens Appreciation"}, {"t": "Michael's vague illness symptoms and Dwight's medical diagnosis attempts", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "About 40 times a year, Michael gets really sick, but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Ooh, is it possible you ate food that contained animal waste? It's possible.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "To what do I owe this great honor, David Wallace? And Gromit.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Oh, you sigh like Jan.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I broke Jan's heart, David, and I feel awful. But you know what? Sometimes you just gots to get your freak on.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "May God guide you in your quest.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I suggest that you all go potty now. And then we will be congregating on the par-tay bus.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Oscar, you brought your Speedo, I assume? I don't wear a Speedo, Michael. Well, you can't swim in leather pants.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Oh, you know what? Uh, you're not going. It's beach day. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Toby.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share after I have passed on to New York. And if Toby is a part of it... then it'll suck.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Hey... want my sunscreen? Oh, great. I forgot mine, and I'm wearing a two-piece. Thanks, Toby.", "c": ["Toby", "Meredith"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I want you to find out about people's character. You know, not their hotness, per se, but their humor and their charisma.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "It's like what happens to a chicken when you take its head away. It dies. Unless you find a new head.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "You want me to write down people's indefinable qualities?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I have the most boring job in the office, so why wouldn't I have the most boring job on beach day?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Oh, sweet mother of God.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus. Or the front of the bus, or drive the bus.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Funtivities!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Yes, funtivities! I knew it wasn't just a trip to the beach.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Okay, you know what? Your enthusiasm is turning people off.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Like what? Like everything I said, and everything they did. Just don't... Well, no. Write it down before you forget it. That's... You've just been drawing pictures.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Rrrrr-rrrrr! I can't stay mad at you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "We are situated on the northeast corner of scenic Lake Scranton. America's eight largest indigenous body of water.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "One day, 14 strangers who work together... but only one survivor. What?! Just words... inspiring words.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Each tribe will have a leader that I will pick randomly off the top of my head without thinking. Jim, Dwight, Andy, and Stanley.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Pros: smart, cool, good looking. Remind you of anybody you know? Cons: not a hard worker. I can spend all day on a project, and he will finish the same project in a half an hour.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Dwight is an obvious candidate for my job. He has the best sales record in the office. He loves the work. He is, however, an idiot.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "We will be called Gryffindor. Really? Not Slytherin? Slytherin are the bad guys, Jim. I know.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Okay, we will be Voldemort. He who must not be named? I wouldn't do that. Voldemort. Okay, seriously... Voldemort! Voldemort, Voldemort... You really shouldn't be say... Hey, hey, hey. Voldemort. Voldemort! Idiots!", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I don't care what you call my team. Then I will name your team the red team. No, the blue team.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I am also considering Stanley, because of all the good that black people have done for America.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Andy Bernard. Pros: he's classy, he gets me. He went to Cornell. I trust him. Cons: I don't really trust him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I am okay if I lose every single contest today. Honestly. Because I see these contests as an opportunity for me to demonstrate what a good sport I am.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I don't want to hit the big rock. Don't worry, you're not... I know I'm near the big rock. I just know it. Nowhere near the big rock.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Angela"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Come on, andale, arriba, arriba. You have to stop this right now, or I'm not gonna do this anymore.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Come on, mush! Mush! Come on, you bastard! What the... Damn it, temp!", "c": ["Dwight", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "How am I supposed to get... Thanks a bunch.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "For those of you who are curious, the world record is 54 1/2 hot dogs. Wow! And you know what? I personally have cooked up enough so that each and every one of you could break that record.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Can I have a turkey burger? No, I have the only one. I claimed it. Turkey is a healthy meat.", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I don't eat meat, Michael. I'm not gonna eat this.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "The winner gets a regional manager's salary for a year, and a Sebring, and the feeling that they are making a difference in the world. Can we just take those first two things?", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "And the winner is Andy Bernard, with 14 hot dogs. Team U.S.A.! One came up. 13 hot dogs, everybody.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Did you say 'sandwich?' No. I was saying that before. Not now. Now I am saying... Sabotage... ...the ancient Dutch art of screwing up your own team.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I will misunderstand everything that Andy says, until he goes insane.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Oh, my God... I have never seen that look in a man's eyes ever. I thought that I might die. On beach day.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "If either of these guys are put in charge of the office, I will transfer to Albany. Gil can come if he wants. I'm kind of looking for a way out of that relationship anyway. I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Go tell somebody. What, Andy? Andy, what should I tell them? Go tell them I'm floating away, obviously! I don't understand what you want from me.", "c": ["Andy", "Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Angela, it's pretty simple. Look at what I'm doing, and go tell somebody it! Sorry. Aah... Bye, Andy. Angela!", "c": ["Andy", "Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "At various times, you gave Jim ten points, Dwight a gold star, and Stanley a thumbs up. And I don't really know how to compare those units.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Well, check to see if there's a conversion chart in that notebook. I really doubt it, Michael. Please just check.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Yes, I would like to be considered for the corporate position in well. 'In well?' As well. How would that work... in well? I just want to know. That would be fine. This job is in a well. I don't want it.", "c": ["Karen", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I'd like to try. Pointless. But I'm not kidding. Okay? This is about guts. It takes guts to be a regional manager.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Nope. Ju... why not? Come on. Oh, 'cause I don't want my feet to get burned. You do not have what it takes to be a regional manager. That's harsh.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "My name is Andrew Bernard. I was with a group called Dunder-Mifflin. Hello?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Because I already did. Remember? I burned my foot on the George Foreman grill.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I will walk and stand on these coals until you award me the position of regional manager! Wow. Dwight. Dwight. Aaah! Ow. Get off there. Get off, get off. Give me the job! I'm not going to give it to you.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Being a boss is also about image. I've never looked like that. That was gross.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Who's Bob Hope? God! He's a, he's a comedian. Oh, like Amanda Bynes. Who's Amanda Bynes? She's from What a Girl Wants. Oh, I love that movie.", "c": ["Kelly", "Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Michael, on Thursday, I'm gonna drive down and interview with David for the open position in New York. Okay, that is not funny. I am deducting 60 points from Voldemort for false pretenses.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "The Aristocrats. A man and his wife and children go into the offices of a talent agency. And the talent agent says, 'Describe your act.' And the man says something really, really raunchy. And the talent representative says, 'What do you call yourselves?' And the man says, 'The Aristocrats.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I did the coal walk. Just, I did it. Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked. It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we're not even friends. And things are just, like, weird between us, and that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. And I really miss you.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "I shouldn't have been with Roy. There were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding, but the truth is I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "And now you're with someone else. And that's fine. It's whatever... that's not what I'm... I'm not... Okay, my feet really hurt.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "The thing that I'm just trying to say to you, Jim, and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Pam, that was amazing. But I am still looking for someone with a sales background.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "Wilmaaaaaaaaaa!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Beach Games"}, {"t": "You happened to be in midtown Manhattan? / Thought I'd catch a show. / In the middle of a work day? / No.", "c": ["David", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "I have got it made in the shade. I know this company. The other branch managers are total morons.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "What's different about you? / You look worse.", "c": ["Kevin", "Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "What's up, Big Haircut? You are no longer Big Tuna. From henceforth, you shall be known as Big Haircut.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "homeless.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "For the record, I am not embarrassed at all. It needed to be said, and I said it, and it only took me three years to summon the courage, so thank you.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "But that's my name.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Dwight, congratulations a wipe. Don't screw the pooch.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Stop crying.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Pam is kind of a bitch.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Wow. Done. Okay, let's do it.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Wait, how would you moon us if you were driving? / Cruise control.", "c": ["Jim", "Creed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Pam is taller. / You sure? / Yes. / She has bigger breasts too. / I think Karen has a prettier face.", "c": ["Creed", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Last year Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "I already sold my condo. / Michael... / Why? / I'm sorry. That just doesn't make sense.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "I sold it on eBay. The buyer was very motivated, as was I. It went for eighty percent of what I paid. Sold in record time.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check in time is now, check out time is never. / Does my room have cable? / No. And the sheets are made of fire.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "You're not the manager even in your own fantasy? / I'm the owner. The co-owner with Satan!", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "In your wildest fantasy, you are in Hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.85, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "80,000 dollars a year.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Pam, Defcon 10. Houston, we have a problem.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "I didn't get both of your messages.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Defcon 20.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Jan is in a different place right now. And it is a sign of maturity to give people second chances. So I am going to hear her out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Huge! Yeah, bigger actually. That's crazy! Oh, my God. Can you believe that? Unbelievable. She could put the cup right there.", "c": ["Kevin", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "In my experience, guys are way more attracted to the back of you than the front.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Au naturale, baby. That's how I like'em. Swing low, sweet chariots.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, no. I'll tell you this, it is not because of the boob job. Excuse me, boob enhancement. That would be shallow. And this is the opposite of shallow. This is emotionally magnificent.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "I'm happy for him. I hope he gets the job. I really just want him to be happy. And I know that sounds cliche. And I know saying it sounds cliche, sounds cliche. Maybe I'm being cliche. I don't care.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "That's Popeye.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Wrong. Black. It is the most dominant. / How do you make a table? / You make a chair, but you don't sit on it.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "I am a great interviewee. Why? Because I have something no one else has. My brain. which I use to my advantage, when advantageous.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Oh wow, that sounds like fun. Is your friend named Karen, too? What did she accomplish?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Your advice was good, but Jan's was bigger.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Now, I'm in the best relationship of my life with the same woman. Love is a mystery.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Every time my sixth grade class has a field trip.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "That wasn't him.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "You mean Kevin?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "That is Beardy. / Beardy? / That's just what I call him.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Except daddy is the best actor around. Daddy is Meryl Streep.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Hail to the chief!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Just say, 'I want to squeeze them.' It's code. She'll know what it means.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Let's call it Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "I learned from Jim. If Dwight ever asks you to accept something secret, you reply, 'Absolutely, I do.'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "And your strengths? / Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths.", "c": ["David", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "This is a Schrute Buck. When you have done something good, you will receive one Schrute Buck. One thousand Schrute Bucks equals an extra five minutes for lunch.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "So ten thousand of your dollars is worth one real dollar? / Just- zip your lid!", "c": ["Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "No. In fact, I'll give you a billion Stanley Nickels if you never talk to me again. / What's the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks? / The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.", "c": ["Stanley", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 9.0, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "He would be disaster.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Not leaving. / David, I did not tell her.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Abandon all hope, you who enter here! / Totally!", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Do you accept my withdrawal? / I do. / Good. Very good. I'm glad we are finally on the same page.", "c": ["Michael", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Wow. That was some serious, hardcore, self destruction. / Yeah. Kinda feel bad for her though. / Don't. She's nuts.", "c": ["Jim", "Karen"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "I think I could back out of the sale. Probably get some negative feedback on my eBay profile.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Kevin Nealon.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "This place is like the hospital where I was born, my house, my old age home, and my graveyard for my bones.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "A man version. But uh- until then, I can hold my head up. I'm not gay.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "How'd I get to be so awesome? Because, I don't have an answer for you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Are you free for dinner tonight? / Yes. / All right. Then, it's a date.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 10.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "You and I are done.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Job"}, {"t": "Jan made me breakfast this morning. Well, she bought the milk. It's soy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "This is why I do it. That's what I have to come home to.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "What kind of celebrity? It's not relevant. How much did you pay for it? Not relevant. You paid for it? It all happened so fast.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me? Pam and Jim are totally hooking up. All they do is smile.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "I took her to the hospital and the doctors tried to save her life. They did the best that they could and she is going to be okay.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "What is wrong with you? Why did you have to phrase it like that?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "She has a slight pelvical fracture, but people have survived far worse.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "I was able to be on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Who was driving? [silence] Oh, Michael.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "It's only Meredith. Yeah. It's only Meredith. Thank God.", "c": ["Kevin", "Stanley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Was she talking back? Just got sick of that face? Did she owe you money? Is this downsizing? Did she spurn your advances?", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "There's bad blood, jealousies, cliques...", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "So, who is the real boss, the dog or a fish?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "It was on company property with company property, so double jeopardy. We are fine.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "I don't think you understand how jeopardy works. Oh, right. I'm sorry. What is 'We're fine'?", "c": ["Toby", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Can you do me a little favor? Go to my place at lunch and give Sprinkles her medicine? Sure. I have to visit the alkie.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Roll the insulin in your hands. Don't shake it... Mix one capsule of omega fatty acid in with her kidney medicine... there's a fungal cream because she has this infection under her tail...", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes, I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "No, don't sue me. That's the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "She looks like an angel. She looks awful. No? Okay, she always looks like that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Oh, really? What kind? Codeine? Vicodin? Percocet? Fentanyl? OxyContin? Palladone? What? I have no idea.", "c": ["Creed", "Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Forgiveness is next to godliness.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Any problems? Well, you left the TV on, and your cat is dead.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "So... Hey, come on, don't be sad. Just... Okay? Just... She's in a better place. All right. Actually, the place that she's in is the freezer because of the odor.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Prinkles! God... That's three things. I'll tell you what's going on. This office is cursed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Cats do not provide milk or wool or meat.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Well, if you're going to reduce my identity to my religion, then I'm Sikh. But I also like hip-hop and NPR, and I'm restoring a 1967 Corvette in my spare time.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick, sometimes the right thing to do is to put it out of its misery. With the electricity we're using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Your last tetanus shot was when you were bitten by a bat a few months ago? Yes. Dwight, here, trapped it in a bag against my head.", "c": ["Doctor", "Meredith", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Maybe there's some sort of animal that we could make a sacrifice to, like a giant buffalo, or some sort of monster, like something with the body of a walrus with the head of a sea lion.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "But it may make you feel a little bit better to know that before that happened, Dwight endangered her life by putting a garbage bag over her head that had a bat in it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Thanks to me, she went to the hospital and that saved her life.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Is there a God? If not, what are all these churches for? And who is Jesus' dad?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "I thought they'd be good together, like PB and J. Pam Beasley and Jim.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Almost marrying Roy Anderson was as close to Pamela Anderson as I ever want to be.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "A woman shouldn't have to be hit by a car to learn that she may have rabies, but that is where we are in America.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Well, back in olden times, a large, fat person like this was a person of power. A person who had money, could buy food, a person of respect, like the regional manager of the day.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "I'm petrified of nipple chafing. Once it starts, it is a vicious circle. You have sensitive nipples, they chafe. So they become more sensitive, so they chafe more.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "When I got home, Sprinkles' body was in the freezer where Dwight said he left her. But all my bags of frozen French fries had been clawed to shreds.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "What's your strategy for this race? Well, I'm going to start fast. Then I'm going to run fast in the middle. Then I'm going to end fast. Why won't more people do that? 'Cause they're stupid.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Right. ...we're dating. Wow! There it is. Yeah. We haven't told anybody, but it's going really great.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Bat birth control? Wait, this money is going to bat birth control, right, Michael?", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Have you met that kid? Not going to college.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "So I closed the door but the image of his... Baguette? ...dangling participle still burned in my eyes.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "They say if you're nervous around someone you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on or a funny coat.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Myth: three Americans every year die from rabies. Fact: four Americans every year die from rabies.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "I'm like Forrest Gump, except I am not an idiot.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Excellent! Simpsons. Wait, Imodium or Ex-Lax?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "You did kill her? I sang her her favorite songs. You put her in my freezer. It was beautiful and gentle and respectful.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "Cat heaven is a beautiful place, but you don't get there if you're euthanized.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "I know you, Michael. I saw you naked. You don't... You don't know me. You've just seen my penis.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "And while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. I'm very, very proud of that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Fun Run"}, {"t": "How dare you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Is this about me and Jan in my office? Because I'll have you know that that was consensual... We're very discreet. And most people had left by that point.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "For the record, I've never been involved with anyone at work in any capacity.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Tuna!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Toby, was this your fun little way of congratulating us?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Everyone, this is a day that will live in infamy... Because today... is the day... that Jim and Pam... become one. Actually, we're dating for 2 months.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Phone's ringing. No, no. Pam, let'em ring. Let the bells of Dunder-Mifflin chime out your love.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "My heart soars... with the eagle's nest.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Pam is the office mattress.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Jim Halpert's off the market. Guess who just became the best looking single guy in the office?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Can you make that straighter? That's what she said.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "How can you even use that one naturally? Blowing up balloons, I thought.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Pam and Jim are together. Ryan is visiting. Only thing that could make this day better is ice cream.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "It's a feral barn cat. I trapped him and I'm giving him to you as a replacement cat for the one I destroyed. Her name was Sprinkles. And his name is Garbage.", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Most calls him Garbage 'cause he likes to eat garbage. Don't you, Garbage?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "He killed an entire family of raccoons. Look at him.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Well, I don't wanna speak for Jim, but it's, like, pretty official.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Let's just wait and see what happens, you know. What? Well, let's just wait.", "c": ["Toby", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "He's back! And he's with a beard. He has facial hair. Look at him! All grown up and no place to go.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Hello, M. Sonny Crocket. I'm Tubbs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Fire guy! Don't start any fires, Ryan. Fire guy! You weren't here for that. Here for what? When he started the fire.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Look at you! You are so... mature and old and little man now. You're like our little man. Little old man boy. Bearded like man boy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "I'd like your respect. I'm your boss now. You're gonna have to treat me the same way you treated Jan. So... That's a little kinky. I don't swing that way.", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "I think Ryan has a gay crush on me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Yeah, Ryan snapped at me. But there was this twinkle in his eye that I picked up on which said, 'Dude, we're friends. I'm doing this for appearances... And I love you.' His words.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Wait a second. Last time I checked, Dunder-Mifflin already has a website. And quite frankly, I'm not really sure what's wrong with it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "What if we don't wanna use a blackberry because they are stupid and pointless?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "You should call it Dunder-Mifflinfinity. You know, push the words together.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "We're screwed. Who is? Us, you and me. The old timers. I am not old. You are old. You are, like, a 100. You're over 40. That's the cut off.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, this kid is the grim reaper. You deal with this, or you, me, Sammy, Phyllis, the chick you hit with the car, we're goners.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Dwight and Angela... dating. Have been for six months. Swear to god.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "No, they have been dating for, like, two years. Since before your barbeque.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "You knew. And you didn't say anything? You didn't say anything to me. Fair enough.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "But when a new client calls, you just have to randomly assign them to a sales person. You can't base who gets new clients on who you're sleeping with that week.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "And... that is why we waited so long to tell people.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "You need to prepare yourself.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "We had a foreign exchange student live with us when I was young. And we called him my brother... And then he went home to what is now formerly Yugoslavia, taking all of my blue jeans with him. And I just spent the entire winter in shorts. That is what Ryan is like: a fake brother who steals your jeans.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "I am dating a lot of guys. Good. A lot. Black guys, mostly. What?", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "How do you touch just one of these buttons at a time? I don't know. Did you even try?", "c": ["Phyllis", "Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Six months ago, Karen Filippelli sent me an email asking me out. I said no because I was committed to our relationship. Well, I hope you're still committed, because I'm pregnant. And guess what buddy? I am keeping it.", "c": ["Ryan", "Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "We have a date!", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Cauliflower and noodles. Baked potato on the side. I would prefer a public place.", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "So, elephant in the room, I have your old job. Well, not exactly... my job. A different title. Oh, well, excuse me. Same office. Same responsibilities. Different salary.", "c": ["Ryan", "Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "What is the actual deal with these things in terms of testicles? What? I don't wanna grow weird sperm in case we ever wanna have kids.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Creed? Yes, sir? Everything okay? Everything's cool, dude. I'm 30. Well, in november, I'll be 30.", "c": ["Ryan", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Did you know... that the age discrimination and employment act of 1967 prohibits employment discrimination based on age with respect to employees 40 years of age or older? I did.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Because they're lame. No! Creed, no, they are not.", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "In fact, many cultures revere old people because of their storytelling ability. Like the old lady from Titanic. Or the funny things that they can do, like, 'Where's the beef?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Who's this old fart? Did you just stagger off the street, out of a box or something? Who's this worthless bag of bones?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Then I'll call David Wallace and you can explain to him why you threw the founder of the company out on his ancient butt.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "My grandma Schrute lived to be 101. My grandpa Mannheim is 103, and still puttering around down in Argentina. I tried to go visit him once but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah foundation.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "And then Mifflin, of course he killed himself later, but I knew Mifflin through the rotary club.", "c": ["Robert Dunder"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Well, we have learned that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Because it's illegal and you will go to jail.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "You know what? You're right. I'm feeling kind of nauseous, anyway. So... we can just skip it.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Are you enjoying your vegetarian noodles? Very much. How is your meat? Dry, delicious.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "I heard a joke today. Oh, that's funny. Yes, it was.", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Every time I look in your eyes, I see Sprinkles' stiff, lifeless body. Then don't look in my eyes. Look right here. It's an old sales trick.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "I will leave your toothbrush on top of your tire tomorrow morning.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Ryan wants everything in our company to be about emails and I.M.S. But I think he is forgetting about the original instant message. Letters attached to baskets of food.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "I don't understand what the big deal is. You lied about being pregnant. Right, so? You really don't understand why that makes me angry? No.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "All right, I just have to ask. Now that we're public... is the magic gone? It's funny you bring that up, because yes, it is. I knew it. I now find you repulsive.", "c": ["Kevin", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Ever since I was a kid, people have been telling me that I can't do things. 'You can't be on the team.' 'You can't move on to second grade.' Well, now they're telling me that I can't win back clients using old fashioned business methods... And FYI, I eventually hated second grade. And I was the biggest kid in class.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "What about cash? Cash can buy whatever you want, including a gift basket, so... it's kind of the best gift ever. What about a gift basket full of cash? Yes! Cash basket!", "c": ["Stanley", "Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Hey, brah. Been meaning to ask you, can we get some Red Bull for these things? Sometimes a guy's gotta ride the bull. Am I right? Later, skater.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Why do you use that thing? It lets them know where you are at all times. Who? The government, spy satellites, private detectives. Ex-girlfriends.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Next night, I'm out at a bar, 2:00 AM. I figure I'll get a sandwich. 'Cause you can get a sandwich any time of the night. I run into Vince Vaughn. No way. Literally. Dude, you are so money. But you dot even know it. But you do.", "c": ["Ryan", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "He has a killer job. He's rich. He smells like what I think Pierce Brosnan probably smells like. He wears really cool rich guy cloth. And he can get any girl that he wants.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "That guy was so st...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm gonna do some mock-ups and then turn those into thumbnails. Maybe do some, uh, splash frames. I don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm excited.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Look... We want you back. Can you offer lower prices? Well, no. Then we're not coming back. He's not coming back. It's over. No, it's not. No, he's right. Accept it, why would he come back?", "c": ["Michael", "Client", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Maybe it's a short cut. It said, go to the right. It can't mean that. It's a lake there! The machine knows. Stop yelling at me! No, it's up there! There's no road here!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Remain calm. I have trained for this. Okay. Exit the window! Here we go. Make a U-turn. If possible. Look out for nature!", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael", "GPS"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Do you wanna go out to dinner tonight? Oh, is it... Wear something nice. No. What? I just... wanted to have dinner. I'm sorry. I'm dating Jim.", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "I guess he can't get any girl he wants.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Can you call us a cab, please? I'm gonna-- Oh, sorry! Look. My clothes are so wet. Nice leather. My shoes are so muddy! All right, here you go. Take it back!", "c": ["Michael", "Client"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Where are the turtles?! Where are they? I ate them, okay? I ate the turtles. They're gone!", "c": ["Michael", "Client"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "I just drove my car into a lake. You did what? I drove my car... into a f*ing lake. Why, you may ask, did do this? Well... because of a machine. A machine told me to drive into a lake. And I did it. I did it because I trusted Ryan's precious technology.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "Game, set, match. Point. Scott. Game over. End of game.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"}, {"t": "And, when we have a good quarter... fireworks. Or a race car. Doesn't have to be a race car. Use your imagination.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day. And sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen and at the last minute it hits the wall and bounces away. We are all just dying to see it go right into the corner.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. Okay... I believe she thinks she saw it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "I saw it. I saw it, and it was amazing. Who said I didn't see it? Did Jim say that? I saw it!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "All r-- All right. Let's quit while we're ahead. - That was so awesome. - That was awesome. Thank you. Some days, I am just on fire. What can I say?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Can you write where I can read it? - Yep. I'll read this when I get home.", "c": ["Meredith", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Attention, earthlings. I have some news. Today's the big day that I'm heading to New York to attend a party with sushi and important people.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Well, the website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. It is my brain grandchild.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "And I do not mean policemen.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "That's from Ryan? Does it mention if he's seeing anybody? No. I'll find out tonight. Yes, please let us know.", "c": ["Kelly", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Dwight mercy killed Angela's cat. It's very complicated. It's caused a lot of unpleasantness between Dwight and Angela. Who were both already prone to unpleasantness.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Stanley, you're dancing. No, I'm not.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Buying paper just became fun.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "I can't tell if he's mocking me. - Just ignore him. Can't do that. It's really hard for me to let things go. I was. Mocking. Thank you.", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Go to my car. Open the trunk. Inside, you will see many pelts. Under the smallest one is a case. Inside that case is a bear horn. Bring it to me.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "So I googled 'how to deal with difficult people,' and I got all of this.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Maybe you could just change the 'u' into an 'a'. Then it would say 'lanch' party, Kevin. Would it be better if it said 'lanch' party?", "c": ["Kevin", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Easy, booster seat. Nobody cares about this party anyway.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Plan a party, Angela. Oh, and the entire world will see it. Oh! And here's $65 for your budget. And here are 4 idiots who'll do nothing but weigh you down. Oh, and your cat's still dead.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Who am I? (computer voice) You tell me. (computer voice) Not sure. Just became self-aware. So much to figure out.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "I have been salesman of the month for 13 out of the last 12 months. You heard me right. I did so well last February that corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "No-- No. No. If I go by myself, everybody'll think I'm a big loser. - Well... I've your permission to invite Carol? - What? Jesus, Michael! I'm sorry. It's just the first... girl that popped into my head. I'll find somebody I haven't slept with.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Look at that. They have their own little language now, like twins.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Here's a suggestion, computer. I assume you read binary. So why don't you 011-11-011-011?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Um, while you were typing that, I searched every database in existence and learned every fact about everything... And mastered the violin. Oh, and sold more paper.", "c": ["Jim (as computer)"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Phyllis, these are spoons. Spoons have round tops and are used to scoop things. What we need are forks which have prongs or tiny spears on top. And we need knives which have blades. Do you understand me now? Yes. Goody.", "c": ["Angela", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "But when you put paper in the shopping cart, it says, 'Thanks for shopping with Dunder Mifflin.' Damn it, Kelly, it knows! It knows what you did!", "c": ["Dwight", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "I am not a bad person. When I left Staples, I took some of their leads with me, but I never intended to use them. What did intend to do with them? Who knows? Maybe keep them as a souvenir. Maybe use them.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Good-Bye. I love you. I love you-- Okay. I'm leaving inside Jim's car I don't know when I'll be back again Yes, I do Tomorrow I'll be back I'll be back tomorrow", "c": ["Michael", "Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Oh. I didn't realize we could use the leads we stole from Staples. (computer voice)", "c": ["Jim (as computer)"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "What are you doing? That is an invitation to an online party. No. I'm sure that's not-- Are there... three 'Ws' at the beginning of the address? - Yes. - Yep.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Doesn't it piss you off sometimes that little twerp got the promotion over us? Oh, actually I withdrew from consideration. Yeah, I withdrew too.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "After numerous projections that the computer would crush all salesmen in its path, I am very happy to report that our very own Dwight Schrute has crushed his electronic nemesis, if you will, by a whopping 52... reams! Say it again-- Announcing it. 52 reams! No, no, the first part. Dwight has defeated the computer!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "How do you tell someone it's over? You send them a notarized letter, right? Well, what if the recipient is your notary?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Hey, do you have any men that you can fix me up with? I would like to have a relationship with a man. I'll get back to you. Let me know.", "c": ["Angela", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "You beat me. You are the superior being. (computer voice)", "c": ["Jim (as computer)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Beer, light beer, streamers, orchids, better lighting, something made of ice. Pizza with mushrooms, pizza without mushrooms, white pi-- I would like this party to be sexier, cooler, more important-- Chocolates, someone famous, cool music, confetti, go-go dancers? I want it to embarrass all other parties.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "You hadn't noticed she's a woman? I hear she's single and ready to mingle. I'm thinking about making a play for her. What do you think? Crazy, right?", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places. Both in quality of ingredients and in overall taste. Which one did you order from? Pizza by Alfredo. All right, you know what? Okay, okay. What is better, a medium amount of good pizza, or all you can eat of pretty good pizza? A medium amount of good pizza.", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Oh, no, it's bad. It's real bad. It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "They say you should never mix business with pleasure. Really? Well then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "It's about to get all stupid up in here!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "I've seen this kid, he sneaks onto my farm and steals my hemp. Yeah, I know that guy. He's that farmer that grows really crappy weed.", "c": ["Creed", "Pizza Kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Listen up, kid. I don't like you, but because some town in Switzerland says so, you have rights.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Here you are, my dear. One thing made of ice. How did you... Where-- Where did you... It's just ice. It'll melt all over the floor. - Will you help me put it over there? - Yes, I will. Excuse me. I stole it.", "c": ["Creed", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "I just think you should know that one of my salesmen beat your stupid computer. So take that, asshole. Always a jokester.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "If anyone out there is listening, I'm being held here against my will. I'm a minor.", "c": ["Pizza Kid"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "If you're going number one, you've got ten more seconds!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "If you change your mind I'll be first in line Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "I'm Ryan, and... tonight didn't go the way that I thought it would. Because... it didn't work out for me. I'm very embarrassed. I have egg all over my face. And... I'm 12 years old.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Launch Party"}, {"t": "Michael imitating Devil Wears Prada: 'Coat!' 'Where's my Steak?' 'Get me Armani.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Jim's talking head: 'He's a big Meryl Streep fan, so I shouldn't be surprised that he's identified with her character.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael: 'Meryl Streep is the bad guy. You never see it coming.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael: 'minushka' then 'Macushla' - Jim: 'He's watching Million Dollar Baby. He's gonna try to kill me.'", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Jan: 'A futon's not a sofa. It folds up. You've only seen it flat.'", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael talking head: 'But at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No... I mean, I have a yacht, so obviously did pretty well, money-wise.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Dwight answering phone as bed and breakfast: 'No king beds. No queen either. We make our own mattresses that don't conform to the traditional sizes. Closest would be twin.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'It consists of tourists coming to a farm, showing them around, giving them a bed, giving them breakfast.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'Trip advisor is the lifeblood of the agro-tourism industry. That's what took down the Stalk Inn, one of the cutest little asparagus farms you'll ever see.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael to Jan: 'Well why don't you just pretend that you have a car? Good practice in case you ever do a scene where you need to pretend you have a car.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael: 'Used to have two cars. Traded 'em in. Now we're down to one. Good economic sense. Although the new car's a Porsche... for her.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Dwight talking head: 'In the Schrute family, we have a tradition where when the male has sex with another woman he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats left on his doorstep by his parents.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael: 'You wouldn't understand, Jim. It's a secret.' Jim: 'I wouldn't understand or it's a secret?' Michael: 'You wouldn't understand, Jim. It's a secret.'", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Jim and Pam making beet puns: 'The Beets Motel. Borscht Hotel. The Embassy Beets. Radish Inn.'", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael talking head: 'I just love sales. I love it to death... Some people have golf or relaxing.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Dwight describing room themes: 'America, irrigation, and night time.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Jim: 'Yes, we will be requiring a bedtime story.' Pam: 'No.' Jim: 'Not even Harry Potter?' Pam: 'No--Jim, come on.' Jim: 'But you promised.'", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'As of this morning, we are completely wireless here at Schrute Farms. But as soon as I find out where Mose hid all the wires, we'll get that power back on.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Telemarketing boss: 'Or woman. Or a trained seal.'", "c": ["Nick Figaro"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Jim talking head: 'What? Oh, I thought you asked me what are chances were of being murdered here tonight.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Jim talking head: 'Wine that wasn't made out of beets... I always imagined less manure. I mean, some manure. Just...less.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Mose throwing manure at Jim", "c": ["Mose", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Stanley: 'When I'm at home at night in my own house in my sweats, drinking some red wine, watching my mystery stories, the last thing in the whole god-forsaken world I want to hear is the voice of Michael Scott.'", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Telemarketing boss to Michael: 'Well, I hope this conversation has helped.'", "c": ["Nick Figaro"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Vikram: 'Medical school must've cost, like, 40 bucks or a donkey or something.'", "c": ["Michael", "Vikram"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Vikram: 'Or a cowboy.'", "c": ["Vikram"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Visual: Jim encountering an outhouse", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael's Die Hard 4 rant about John McClane becoming too invincible", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'Does Mose have nightmares?' 'Oh, yes. Ever since the storm.'", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael: 'That's what she said' during PowerPoint presentation", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael: 'What I do between 5:30 pm and 1:00 am is nobody's business but mine and my other businesses.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Ryan: 'It's whomever, not whoever.' Michael: 'No, whomever is never actually right.' Kevin: 'Michael is right. It's a made-up word used to trick students.'", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Toby: 'Ryan used me as an object.' Michael: 'So whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it into your skull.'", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael's dream sequence about having two jobs: 'In this dream, I did both of these jobs beautifully. And I loved it. And everybody loved me.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael talking head: 'But the good thing about the american dream is that you can just go to sleep. And try it all again the next night.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Andy: 'I've moonwalked past accounting, like, ten times.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Andy: 'I come from a line of W.A.S.P.S so long it leads back to Moses.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Kevin: 'You play the ponies, small horses.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael asking Kevin about fixed fights: 'Like he's tied into some crooked dealings and maybe his kid is sick or something.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Kevin: 'The mob.' Michael: 'Do you know anybody in the mob?'", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Darryl to Kelly: 'It's either your daughter or me.' Kelly: 'My daughter.'", "c": ["Darryl", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Stanley: 'Yeah, women be shoppin'.'", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael: 'Monkey problems? No, I'm not having monkey problems. Why would I have monkey problems?' Phyllis: 'I know you heard me correctly.'", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael destroys money: 'You just put it back in your pocket.' 'Yeah, but I destroyed it. It's not even usable anymore.'", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Kelly talking head: 'Darryl Philbin is the most complicated man that I've ever met. I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking. What kind of game is that?'", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Creed: 'I've already got my name picked out: 'Lord Rupert Everton.' I'm a shipping merchant who raises fancy dogs. That's the life.'", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael: 'I-declare-bankruptcy!'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Oscar: 'You can't just say the word 'bankruptcy' and expect anything to happen.' Michael: 'I didn't say it; I declared it.'", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael explaining Core-Blaster Extreme: 'Your back core, your arm core, your--the marine corps actually uses it. I think that's how they got 'corps.''", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Andy: 'I left a little present for Angela... I told her in the note that the cat came to find her. That they were destined to be together. I got game.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Jim and Pam's fake Schrute Farms review: 'Table-making never seemed so possible.' 'You will never want to leave your room.'", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael: 'What am I doing? I'm blowing dodge. I'm getting out of town. Whatever you call it. I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Angela to Andy: 'You may ask me out to dinner. Nothing fancy or foreign. No bars, no patios, no vegetables. And no seafood.'", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Jim: 'I'm very passionate about Italian food. In fact... I'm in love with Italian food.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Michael on the train: 'I don't... I think the engineer left.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "Jan: 'Don't sell your implants, please. I'm keeping them. I know you like them... Kind of painful and my nipples aren't as sensitive now. Looks cute though.'", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Money"}, {"t": "fireworks or a racecar. Doesn't have to be a racecar. Use your imagination.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day, and sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen, and then at the last minute, it hits a wall and bounces away. We are all just dying to see it go right into the corner.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "I saw it. I saw it, and it was amazing. Who said I didn't see it? Did Jim say that I didn't see it? I saw it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Why, oh, why do we keep printing this on white? No! Come on! Yeah! I know. I know. It's bland. It's never going to happen. Dude, you got to believe.", "c": ["Michael", "Others"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Wait for it. [beat] That was so awesome. That was awesome. Thank you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Some days I am just on fire. What can I say?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Can you write where I can read it?", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "I'll read this when I get home.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Attention. Earthlings, I have some news. Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Well, the website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. It is my brain-grandchild.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "And I do not mean policemen.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "That's from Ryan? Does it mention if he's seeing anybody?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "I don't care, but yes. I don't care, and you won't. You'll see. I won't be watching, and I won't.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Dwight mercy-killed Angela's cat. It's very complicated. It's caused a lot of unpleasantness between Dwight and Angela, who were both already prone to unpleasantness.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Stanley, you're dancing. No, I'm not.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Look, at the end of the day, Apple's apple is flying at 30,000 feet. This is a paper company, and I don't want us to get lost in the weeds or into a beauty contest. Convergence, viral marketing, we're going guerilla, we're taking it the streets, while keeping an eye on the street, Wall Street. I don't want to reinvent the wheel here. In other words, it is what it is.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Or, 'Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Go to my car, open the trunk, inside you will see many pelts. Under the smallest one is a case. Inside that case is a bear horn. Bring it to me.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Lunch party? It's supposed to say 'Launch Party.' Angela is worse than usual lately", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Then it would say 'Lanch Party,' Kevin. Would it really be better if it said 'Lanch Party'?", "c": ["Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Okay, wow, easy, booster seat.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "'Plan a party, Angela. Oh, and the entire world will see it.' 'Oh, and here's $65 for your budget.' 'Oh, and here are four idiots who will do nothing but weigh you down.' 'Oh, and your cat's still dead.'", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "What? He's going through a breakup. Yeah. I'm aware of that, but he's also being super-annoying, and I'm not a perfect person.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Not sure. Just became self-aware. So much to figure out. I think I am programmed to be your enemy. I think it is my job to destroy you when it comes to selling paper.", "c": ["Jim (as computer)"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "I have been salesman of the month for 13 out of the last 12 months. You heard me right. I did so well last February, that corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "No. If I go by myself, everybody will think I'm a big loser. Well... Do I have your permission to invite Carole? What? Jeez, Michael! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just the first girl that popped into my head. I'll find somebody that I haven't slept with.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Okay, why don't you just lay off, lady? 412.", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Look at that. They have their own little language now, like twins.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "'Here's a suggestion, computer.' 'I assume you read binary, so why don't you zero, one, one,' 'one, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, one?'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "While you were typing that, I searched every database in existence and learned every fact about everything and mastered the violin. And sold more paper.", "c": ["Jim (as computer)"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Phyllis, these are spoons. Spoons have rounded tops and are used to scoop things. What we need are forks, which have prongs or tiny spears on top. And we need knives, which have blades. Do you understand me now?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "But you get to put the paper in this little shopping cart and then it says, 'Thanks for shopping with Dunder Mifflin.' Damn it, Kelly! It knows! It knows what you did!", "c": ["Kelly", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "I am not a bad person. When I left Staples, I took some of their leads with me, but I never intended to use them. What did I intend to do with them? Who knows? Maybe keep them as a souvenir, maybe use them.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "I'm leaving inside Jim's car I don't know when I'll be back again Yes, I do, tomorrow I'll be back I'll be back tomorrow.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "If you are not this tall, you may not ride the rollercoaster.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Two kisses. One for me. One for Jan.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "That is an invitation to an online party. No. No. I'm sure that's not. Are there three 'W's' at the beginning of the address? Yes. Yeah.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "This is like when the freshmen would throw a party and wouldn't let any of the seniors go.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Actually, I withdrew from consideration. Yeah. I withdrew too.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "How do you tell someone it's over? You send them a notarized letter, right? Well, what if the recipient is your notary?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Hello. Hey, do you have any men that you can fix me up with? I would like to have a relationship with a man.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "It was kind of a slap in the face to realize that I wasn't as important as I thought I was to a certain young executive who I'd cared about. But, you know, I'm not gonna cry over it. I did that in the car on the way home.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "I want it to be a party that the guys in New York watch on the webcam and say, 'Wow, how did they get Al Roker to come?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "She works in the annex. You're also welcome to date Toby.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Alfredo's Pizza Cafe? Or Pizza By Alfredo? Same thing. No. No, it's not.", "c": ["Angela", "Michael", "Others"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "A medium amount of good pizza or all you can eat of pretty good pizza? Medium amount of good pizza.", "c": ["Michael", "Others"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Oh, no, it's bad. It's real bad. It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "You looking for dinner and a movie? 'Cause you're not gonna find it in that box. It just so happens, I know where you can find it, but again, not in the box.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "They say you should never mix business with pleasure. Really? Well, then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "It's about to get all stupid up in here!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know that guy. He's that farmer that grows really crappy weed.", "c": ["Pizza delivery kid"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "I'm not kidnapping him. I'm keeping him until I get what I want. As a hostage. I think you're over-thinking it.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "We would like to order some good pizza from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "If anyone out there is listening, I am being held here against my will. I'm a minor.", "c": ["Pizza delivery kid"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Take a chance on me. That's all I ask of you, Angela.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "I'm Ryan and tonight didn't go the way that I thought it would, because it didn't work out for me, and I'm very embarrassed. I have egg all over my face. I'm 12 years old. I spent so much time in Scranton, but I never sold any paper... I started a fire with my cheese pita. I dated an Indian girl. I started a fire. Now I've got a beard. And I got a new suit, and I'm your boss. I get everything I want 'cause I'm very... I'm hot. I'm so hot.", "c": ["Michael (impersonating Ryan)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Local Ad"}, {"t": "Turns out it's a pretty easy gig when your boss isn't an idiot and your boyfriend's not in love with somebody else.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "This is a dummy, a la Ferris Bueller's day off. We have tied a string to the wrist which goes to the door. When somebody opens the door, the hand goes down, hits the remote, turns on the tape recorder, which is me snoring.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "I will know. - But you will not tell anyone. I won't need to, 'cause we'll be together playin' hooky! Well, sometimes. Most of the time, I will be with Ryan.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Or Darryl.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "I don't understand why sleeping is better than you not being... Just go out and come back in.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "You completely misinterpreted my tone. This is a horrible thing. Clearly, Karen is trying to get back at us because Jim dumped her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "You cannot take the hilarious black guy from the office. Stanley is part of what makes this branch so extraordinary. The bluesy wisdom, the sassy remarks, the crossword puzzles, the smile, those big, watery red eyes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "I don't know how George Bush did it when Colin Powell left.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "How can I get you to stay? - Money. Yeah. We all want money. But there is none in the budget, so... Tell me why you're really leaving. - Money.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Mo money, mo problems, Stanley. You of all people should know that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Let me ask you this. If I were... - Money.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Filipellers, how they hangin'? - Michael. - To the left? To the right?", "c": ["Michael", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "You may have Toby. - Toby's not a salesperson. - You can train him. He's very, very smart. And funny, and charming.", "c": ["Michael", "Karen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "I can't do it. Toby is the worst. That... That was a bluff.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Do you like magic? Because I am a genie in a bottle, and I'm going to grant you three wishes: to move to Scranton, to have a great job, and to be my best friend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Aren't you the guy that hit the woman with your car? - Get out. - Yeah. I also saved her life. But I guess that's not as grabby.", "c": ["Ben", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Everyone says Scranton branch is worse than Camden. Didn't everyone from Stamford quit, like immediately?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "No, I fired them, and you're next.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Scranton is the cool, fun branch. We're like animal house.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "It's Vivaldi. For Finer Things. - That's the problem. That's the problem. We need rock and roll, Pam. Rock and roll!", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Oh, my... god. That's why people are leaving. I... I have no words.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Surprise! - Yes! - Look at his face! - Look at his face! - What are we doing?", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "We are going on a panty raid to Utica is what we're doing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "We are going to make Karen wish that she had never been dumped by you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Well, that kinda sucks, because it had all the photos of my brother's new baby on it. So... Oh, no. That is too bad.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Here's what we brought. We brought uniforms from the warehouse. I brought silly string. Dwight brought gasoline and rubber to make stink bombs. - Or real bombs. - No, no. Not real bombs.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "You kidding me? We've been driving with this in the trunk the whole time?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "So... the deal was, Dwight doesn't blow anything up, and I wear a costume. And a moustache.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "So why did you and Karen break up? - Was it the sex? - What? - I can't imagine the sex being bad. Her body...", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Dwight, are you peeing? - I'm peeing in this empty can. - Oh, my god! - That is disgusting, Dwight.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "I think I cut my penis on the lid.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Just came to discuss my favorite E.M. Forster novel. Pam, these finger sandwiches look finger-lickin' delicious, Pam.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "The Finer Things Club is the most exclusive club in this office. Naturally, it's where I need to be. Party Planning Committee is my backup, and Kevin's band is my safety.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "If we've to defend ourselves, I'll stab the security guard in the eye with the jumbo chalk. - No! No, you won't do that. Nope. - Then I'll grind up it and blow it in his eyes.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Dwight, nothing with the eyes. Please?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "What are you microwaving?! - Popcorn. - Why don't you use the microwave in the kitchen, Phyllis? - Someone needs to clean it. It smells like popcorn.", "c": ["Andy", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "You've been like an uncle to me. Like a kind old... uncle Remus.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "The eyes are the groin of the head.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Just climb on top of her and think about Stanley.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Host the dundies.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Copy that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "I cried for weeks over that guy. So, yeah... Seeing him climb out of a PT Cruiser in a ladies' warehouse uniform... felt pretty good.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Then we will burn Utica to the ground.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "And if you so much as harm a hair on Stanley's head... we will burn Utica to the ground.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "No, I didn't wanna see you. Not that I'm not happy to be seeing you. Right now. I'm just saying, ultimately, I was here for the copier. Equal. I'd say it was equal.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Go 'cause of traffic. Definitely. Beat... Beat the traffic.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Here is a box... for your things. But I doubt that that box will be able to contain... all the memories that you have of this place.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Fly away, sweet little bird. Fly away and be free.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Wanted... middle-aged black man with sass. Big butt. Bigger heart.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "How on earth did Michael call my bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius? Sometimes I say crazy things.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Angela's ashes. Top of the mornin' to it. Frankie's prose is finer than a pot of gold, say I.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Did you even read it? - Course I read it. - How does it end? Who was the main character? - Angela. - Nope. - Ashes.", "c": ["Oscar", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Branch Wars"}, {"t": "Michael wasn't invited. Apparently they already knew everything they needed to know about him.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Made so many s'mores, that I finally had to say, 'No more s'mores, no more s'mores.'", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Hey, nobody cares. Nobody cares. I need that room at some point, so just, wrap it up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes. And I am always busy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Your body only has a certain amount.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm Broken Mountain.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "It's one guy, or two guys, if your plans change. Not gonna change.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Asbestos. I thought we had that looked at.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I keep various weaponries strategically placed around the office.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had velcroed under my desk.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "It's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "The choice is yours. No, the choice is actually yours.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "This is a very personal private experience in the wild, that I wish to share with me, myself and I.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Let's put it this way: no, I do not.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "You would never escape. Well, yes I would. And I would survive. I would make sure that you were dead. Then I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips so you could not be identified. And they would call me the Overkill Killer.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "You are as creepy as a real serial killer. For real.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "It would be better if you were unconscious.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Please allow me to have one cathartic experience in my life.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "What? There are thirteen people working in this office, so thirteen times a year Michael gets a cake and balloons, and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack! Not crack the drug.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "He only sings the high harmony to 'Happy Birthday.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "And he's a very big believer in surprise parties. Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Happy Birthday!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "You're shaking things up a bit, huh? It's a pretty good idea, don't you think? Do you think it's a good idea? No... I think it's a great idea.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "You know, try sending them another invoice. Did you see my memo by the way?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I'm trying to confuse your sense of direction.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Wow! That was easy. Yeah, people like me, I guess.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I want pie. I want peach pie. You want a birthday pie? I want a nice cobbler.", "c": ["Creed", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "You tell her it's for Creed. She'll know what that means.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "The sun is in the two-thirds easterly quadrant, which would make it about 2 o'clock in the afternoon.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Watch that I don't hit my corroded artery here...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I will remain close by to provide unseen moral support, but I will never help him. I will let harm befall him. I will even let him die. But I will never let him lose his dignity.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Me likey the ice cream cake, okay? Fudgey the Whale.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Pizza rolls. OK, I'm gonna go into this office here to do some work. So I will be in here. Mushroom caps.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Wish I could have gone with Ryan on that cool retreat! Jan has plastic boobs! I HAVE HEMORRHOIDS!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Michael is a man of great depth and passion. I don't know what he's searching for out here. I hope he finds it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Well, it is a little chillier than I had thought, so I have fashioned my hat back into my pants.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I have made this spear, with which I will impale my dinner.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I have been without food for a good three hours or so. I'm startin' to feel it a little bit.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. If I don't have some cake soon, I might die.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Why don't you mind your business?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Jimmy had his birthday three weeks ago, so he doesn't care. Probably went to his head.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Well if you take a look at this, I tented my pants. I've made myself a nice pants tent shelter.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "And this little guy may be Dunder Mifflin paper some day.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Nothing to worry about. Just using the scope. Safety is... on.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "My birthday was two months ago. There was no party. Well, it... there was. But Michael scheduled it for 4:58 on a Friday. You know, people sang in the parking lot.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Toby's great. He's great, but sometimes he can be a little bit much. 'I don't see the harm in that.' Well, it's a cake Toby, so, c'mon.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "No. No way. I am not a machine, Jim. You can't just change plans willy nilly and expect these little magic party elves to do your bidding.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Hey, Michael. I mean Jim. Yup, Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Those are nature's best mushrooms. Wild, and I have to say these little buggers are damn tasty as well.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Get them out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Man became civilized for a reason. He decided that he liked to have warmth, and clothing, and television and hamburgers, and to walk upright, and to have a soft futon at the end of the day.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I don't need fresh air, because I have the freshest air around, A.C.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I can also make it the sky.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once. Terrible idea. Yeah, okay, I did that. Rookie mistake.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Just wait. Ten years, you'll figure it out. I don't think I'll be here in ten years. That's what I said.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "I never know. I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, to lighten the tension. When things sort of get hard. That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Nice. Really good. Bravo, my young ward.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Survivor Man"}, {"t": "Every time Michael's in a meeting, he makes me come in and give him a post-it note telling him who's on the phone. I did it once, and he freaked out. He loved it so much. The thing is, he doesn't get that many calls. So he has me make them up every ten minutes.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "But I have the most important client sitting right in front of me... my boss.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "My house, my rules... I insist. I insist you take your work calls.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "The company fired her for having the courage to augment her boobs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Pat-tern. Patt-ern. My friend friend Pat took a turn. That's how I remember that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "No, I want it up. My hair.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Disree. My friend Disree got new specs. Disree spect. My friend Inapro drives a Prius with his behind neighbor.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "That's 4 million. $4 million! Man! That is a lot of guacamole. Lot of green. Lotta green.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "And I've also thrown in some ers and ahs just to make it seem like it's not memorized. Perfect crime.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "I'm gonna puke. I'm gonna throw up. Fine, just a second. Hold on.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "A good start. And I think it's 'busload.' Yeah, but rich lawyers took the bus.", "c": ["Lawyer", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "My boyfriend is 12.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "I don't talk trash, I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical, like, 'Your mom is so fat, she could eat internet.' But smack talk is happening, like, right now. Like, 'You're ugly, and I know it for a fact, 'cause I got the evidence right there.'", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Your boyfriend is so weak, he needs steroids just to watch baseball. Jim couldn't hit a ping-pong ball of the size of the moon. Were Jim's parents first cousins that were also bad at ping-pong?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Yesh.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "People underestimate Michael. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at. Like... ice skating. He is a very good ice skater.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "I haven't actually seen it. But I have seen The Firm, and I plan on renting The Pelican Brief.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Come again? That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Delivery's all wrong. She's butchering it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "To be delicate, they hang off milady's chest. They... make milk.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "And, frankly, the timing was nothing short of predominant.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Well, depends on how you define 'began.' If it was from the first time we shook hands, it's like six years ago. The first time we kissed, it's like two years ago. From the first time we kissed sober, it was four months after that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Mr. Scott, do you realize you just contradicted yourself? I did? Yes. Can I go to the bathroom? I really have to. I've been drinking lots of water. You went 5 minutes ago. It wasn't to go to the bathroom. but to get out of a question. You've to answer it. First, can I go to the bathroom? No.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "All of my heroes are table tennis players. Zoran Primorac, Jan-Ove Waldner, Wong Tao, Jorg Rosskopf, and, of course, Ashraf Helmy. I even have a life-size poster of Hugo Hoyama on my wall. And the first time I left Pennsylvania was to go to the hall of fame induction ceremony of Andrzej Grubba.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Just got back from Jamaica. Tan almost everywhere. Jan almost everywhere. Hee hee. Oh, diary, what a week. I had sex with my boss. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere. Jan was very specific that this is not going anywhere. That it was a one-time mistake. But we had sex six times, so you tell me. I am definitely feeling very eerie.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Irie. Irie, sorry.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Could you make it 11?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, my parents got divorced. They both wanted custody. And they both asked me to testify against the other one in court. So, I don't know. I didn't want them to get divorced in the first place. I loved them both so much. I just wanted...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "You e-mailed a topless photo of me to everyone in our company. Let's call it even.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Not a woman, just a cool, great-looking best friend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "I'm out of carrots. I'm out of sticks. Mr. Scott has time and again proven himself to be an unmanageable employee and a poor branch manager. I recommend he be removed from that position and reassigned to sales, where he belongs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Well, he has gone from completely hopeless to simply miserable.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no. He works here, dumb-ass.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "See? I was number one contender. I was being groomed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["David Wallace"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your boyfriend, 'Cause, 'cause, 'cause he sucks at ping-pong.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "I think you're a nice guy too.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "But she already brought the diary with her to New York. So... You expect to get screwed by your company. But you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Chinese was my cheap suggestion.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "The Deposition"}, {"t": "Break me off a piece of that... [struggling with Kit-Kat jingle]", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Applesauce... Chrysler car... Football cream", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Even the receptionist is getting in on the creativity", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "MTV-on-crack kind of thing", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Who let the Nard dog out?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You just got Nard-dogged!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.68, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Urban? I grew up in a small town. What about me seems urban to you?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Stanley is hilarious", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Phyllis is like our Mrs. Butterworth. Kind of a less urban Aunt Jemima.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Baby Bear thing... Mama Bear.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I mean, when I tell people that I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers or muffins or mittens... And frankly all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Oh, it has losers.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "In my second life, I was also a paper salesman and I was also named Dwight. Absolutely everything was the same. Except I could fly.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Zoom back further, the hotel is actually the playground of the world's largest prison. But we zoom back further...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I don't get paid by the hour anymore, but thank you. I get paid by the year.", "c": ["Ad Executive"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "We've been necking. But only necking. Right? Not actually kissing our mouths. Just neck on neck.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Angela can stay the same, but we'll change Andy to Dwight... That's not different enough. Dwike?", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Shrek. Shrek. I'm a donkey. I'm a donkey, Shrek.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Well, actually I can't cook and I am starting a restaurant, Mike's Cereal Shack. I'm thinking we'll have as many varieties as you can buy in the store.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one or seen one... Couldn't even talk yet.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "How about never-hundred hours, sir?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Ryan is being a little bitch again.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "And thus Michael Scott sealed his own destiny. In a good way.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Sue Grafton is at the Steamtown Mall. She's doing a book signing right now.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Does anyone actually know what Sue Grafton looks like? I mean is she hot, or... She's crazy hot.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "What's rap?", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You need to learn a lot about your own culture. I'll make you a mix.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "It's called Second Second Life for those people who want to be removed even further from reality.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You're a sports writer in Philadelphia? Nice build, too... I did not know you played guitar.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all, and it's terrible.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Break me off a piece of that lumber tar... Snickers bar... Grey Poupon", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "So I kept on asking, and they finally threw me out of the store in front of all my friends.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Piss or get off the pot!", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I passed out on my keyboard trying to decide.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Oh, D. Oh, D.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "D for Andy.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "[Jim's dawning realization reaction]", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "People are stupid. People like waving. Waving sells, not art.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "In a fast-moving world, where good news moves at the speed of time, and bad news isn't always what it seems.", "c": ["Michael's voiceover"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Break me off a piece of that Fancy Feast. It's the cat food. Nailed it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Oh, today we saw a junkyard dog attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Nature.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I lost a penny out of my loafers, Oscar.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I will quit. As God is my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Some of us like the walk more than others. KEVIN: It hurts like hell.", "c": ["Jim", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "But instead you found something to distract you from ever picking out a chair.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "(IMITATING CHAIR MECHANISM) I really want it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "She dresses like a professional, and yet you know there is a side of her that could just curl up on a couch. Or in a great chair.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I definitely remember your dinner party.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I think what I meant was that I am completely swearing off one woman. Jan.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Actually, I put the catalogue in your hand, 'cause you have to pick out a new chair.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "And I'm optimistic, because every day I get a little more desperate, and desperate situations yield the quickest results.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "When Pam gets Michael's old chair, I get Pam's old chair. Then I'll have two chairs. Only one to go.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "If I had somebody to set you up with, Michael, then I'd take her for myself.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I thought you were engaged.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "She's... You don't deserve her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Hello, Oscar Mayer Weiner lover. I bet that you have a bunch of very liberal girl-type friends who trust you implicitly, because they know you'd never touch 'em because of your condition.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "F'eisty? So she's not jolly or sassy? Not like a jolly, sassy opera singer?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Could we share a rowboat? Could a rowboat support her?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Would an average-sized rowboat support her without capsizing?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "It bothers me that you're not answering the question.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "No, all right? No, she can't fit in a rowboat.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Damn it! I knew it! I knew it, Phyllis!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Well, can, but won't. Should, maybe, but, shorn't.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "What part of 'shorn't' don't you understand, Kevin?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "There's nobody I hate enough to write her name on this card.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Well, I'm setting Michael up with my fat friend, anyway. He can just deal with it.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Your mom.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Hot and juicy redhead.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "This isn't Wendy. I'm sorry. Could you put her on, please? Dude, this is a Wendy's restaurant.", "c": ["Michael", "Wendy's Employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Could I just have a F'rosty and a baked potato, please? You have to come to the restaurant to order food. Well, I'll send somebody to pick it up, just have it ready. It's ready now. Well, put it aside.", "c": ["Michael", "Wendy's Employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I will find her, and I will bring her to you. And as God is my witness, she shall bear your fruit.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "F'irst, go to Wendy's, get my food, come back, and then go.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Deborah Shoshlefski, 142 South Windsor Lane. Dead, car accident. Case closed.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "As dead as every dead animal who has ever died.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Try not to be so hurtful, Jim. Jim, how dare you? Please, not at a time like this.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Is she hot?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "We need to assemble the F'ive F'amilies. No, not the F'ive F'amilies. We have to!", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "They call him 'Cool Guy' Paul.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Grade A badass.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Bill Cress is super old and really mean.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Give her a 10 for her looks, and a three for her ability to describe herself.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Is who Michael what?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "You're asking me what I do with the checks that people write to me?", "c": ["Margaret"], "jt": ["observational", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "And you can't see her whole body, down here, she has a boob job.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "It was like talking to the sweet, old lady on the bus.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "That's incredibly rude. Now you ruined it.", "c": ["Margaret"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Andrew Bernard is the name of me, and this is my associate, Mr. Kevin Malone.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "(STAMMERING) I have things.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Could've done this over e-mail.", "c": ["Business Owner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "It's just nice to win one.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Margaret the landlady? Really, Pam? Is that what you think of me?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I'm looking for a passionate affair, not companionship. I'm a man of intensity. Of cool, and youth, and passionately.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "You just got yourself kicked out of your apartment.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "You're messy. You're a klutz, you spill everything. And you leave the volume on the TV way too loud.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll just move in with my boyfriend, 'cause he's kind of a slob, too.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna move in with anyone unless I'm engaged. Have I not proposed to you yet? I don't... No. Oh. Well, that's coming.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "No, I'm not gonna do it right here. That would be rather lame.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "And when it happens, it's going to kick your ass, Beesly. So, stay sharp.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I am not kidding.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Got it a week after we started dating.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "There was a woman in your life who affected you very deeply, and she left before you could say goodbye. I think you need to say goodbye.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I did this for the little guy. For Joe Six-Pack, the guy who wakes up every morning in his $400-a-month apartment, wonders how he's gonna pay his mortgage that month. Wonders how he's gonna fill his car up with oil. Wonders, 'How am I going to pay my kids' orphanage bills?'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "I guess you could say she died of blunt-force trauma and blood loss. She got in a car accident and plowed into the side of an airplane hangar.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "She was stoned, apparently.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "You know, I used to think that I had this perfect person out there, waiting for me. But now I know that that's just silly. Because she's dead.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "You wait till next year's chair catalogue comes out, and you find someone who's still alive.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "My shoe is untied. What is your problem? Oh, my God! You thought I... No, no, no. How could I have thought that?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "(SINGING TO THE TUNE OF AMERICAN PIE) Bye, bye Miss chair model lady I dreamt that we were married and you treated me nice We had lots of kids Drinking whiskey and rye But why'd you have to go off and die? Why'd you have to go off and die?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "(BOTH SINGING) You believe in rock 'n' roll? Can music save your mortal soul?", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Chair Model"}, {"t": "Michael got gum in his hair crawling under Stanley's car for what turned out to be tinfoil", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "But, best-case scenario, you thought it was a quarter.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Kill me, right now.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "We have peanut butter in the kitchen. I don't feel like peanut butter. Get me an ice cream sandwich. Nope, not for you, it's for your hair.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Dwight, not the good peanut butter... People are gonna get mad.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "This is my hair we're talking about.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Smells good. Taste good, too. Oh, don't, that's disgusting. Lot of calories.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's nice. Keep massaging, please.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Like a piece of fine art by... any number of renowned artists. Or an arty photograph... of Cindy Crawford nude.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "They just lack a certain... Crawfordness.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "If the website had been working.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Watch your back, Jim. I'm just kidding.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "or makes fun of his height or his half-beard...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Yes, the social networking feature of the Dunder-Mifflin Infinity website was infiltrated by sexual predators.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "And then an older gentleman asks you, 'boxers or briefs?'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "If I had created a website with this many problems, I'd kill myself.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Number one: how dare you?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "And I'm not applauding... sarcastically.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "But now, at a time TDB, all of these problems will be in the past.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "That's still going on?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Old ball and chain's been a lot more chain than ball lately, if you know what I'm saying. I'm right here.", "c": ["Andy", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Probably wearing the same clothes that I'm wearing right now. If you catch my drift.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "I am going... to go get laid. Good-bye! With sex!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "The one time a year they hear one.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Swingers. Classic. Jon Favreau, tall guy from Dodgeball.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "I don't go to a place like that to see more poverty, you know? You go there to get some glamour...", "c": ["Club patron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot, guys! Good job! Later.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "If I'm not in my bath with a glass of red wine in 1 hour, you're both dead.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "No, no, not a wizard. A hobbit.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Do you live in a regular-sized house?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Hey... Chief. This is Jim Halpert from... where you work. You're the guy who sits behind the desk. You're the... the african-american guy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "They lay their eggs inside the unripe beetroot, then, come springtime, the babies eat their way out.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "By show of hands, who thinks we're a better couple than Jim and Pam?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Back to the Future. 'Back' because it's on my back. And 'future' because I'm the kind of guy who likes to look ahead into the future.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Back to the Future?! Well, you should take a film education course.", "c": ["Michael", "Young woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "This place is like a... like a sexy preschool.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Amazons!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Nice try! I've never met anybody who does that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Ryan told me to always tell a woman you work in finance.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "She washes dogs! I know! I don't wanna get ahead of myself, but... I think I want her to meet my mom.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Please don't pick up. Hello? Hank... Is that you? Yeah. Still haven't left the house yet, huh? I'm getting ready to leave. Good. Please hurry. Stop calling me so I can put on my damn socks.", "c": ["Jim", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "One of my friends is getting beaten up by some girls!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "I... am moving to Costa Rica. Thought about it... for a long time now. And I'm finally gonna do it.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "So... I'm just gonna hop the fence and jog home then.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Why are you assuming they only speak spanish? I just... If they speak spanish.", "c": ["Oscar", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Okay? It happens they speak spanish. Lucky us.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Why don't you take your clothes off? No!", "c": ["Troy", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "And then you put a wire on him... and you find out who's selling him... drugs. And then you get that guy and you flip him. You turn him into a snitch.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "I've been watching The Wire recently... I don't understand a word of it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Like a famous person once said, 'boys on the side.' But I don't... I disagree. I say, let's hear it for the boys.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Night Out"}, {"t": "Every time Michael's in a meeting, he makes me come in and give him a Post-it note telling him who's on the phone. I did it once and he freaked out. He loved it so much.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "The thing is he doesn't get that many calls. So he has me make them up every 10 minutes.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Ah, this is a very important client, but I have the most important client sitting right in front of me, my boss.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Money isn't everything, Ryan. And you're my friend, and I don't want to be rude.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Hiya, buddy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "The company fired her for having the courage to augment her boobs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Yes. Yes. Pattern. 'Pat-turn.' My friend Pat took a turn.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "'Dis-ray.' My friend Dis Ray got new specs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Dis Ray Spect. My friend In-A-Pro drives a Prius with his behind neighbor.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Does this work for you? Yep.", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Million dollars. 4 million. $4 million! Man, that is a lot of guacamole! Lot of the green. Lot of green.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Perfect crime!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Yeah, a bunch of rich lawyers took the bus.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Abso-fruitly.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "My boyfriend is 12.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "I don't talk trash. I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical, like, 'Your mama's so fat', 'she could eat the Internet.' But smack talk is happening, like, right now. Like, 'You're ugly and I know it for a fact 'cause I got the evidence right there.'", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Your boyfriend is so weak, he needs steroids just to watch baseball.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Jim couldn't hit a Ping-Pong ball if it was the size of the moon.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Were Jim's parents first cousins that were also bad at Ping-Pong?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Toby? Are you renewing your divorce vows before my deposition?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "People underestimate Michael. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at, like ice-skating. He is a very good ice-skater.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Awesome!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "I haven't actually seen it, but I have seen The Firm and I'm planning on renting The Pelican Brief.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Well, delivery's all wrong. She's butchering it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "She thought it had to do with the twins. That's what I call them.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "To be delicate, they hang off milady's chest. They make milk.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Yes. And frankly, the timing was nothing short of predominant.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Well, it depends on how you define begin. I mean, if it's from the first time we shook hands, like, six years ago. If it's from the first time we kissed, it's, like, two years ago. If it was from the first time we kissed sober, it was, like, four months after that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "'Mr. Scott, do you realize you just contradicted yourself?' 'I did.' 'Yes, you did.' 'Can I go to the bathroom?' 'No.' 'I really have to. I've been drinking lots of water.' 'You went five minutes ago.' 'That wasn't to go to the bathroom, that was to get out of a question.' 'You still have to answer it.' 'First, can I go to the bathroom?' 'No.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Zoran Primorac, Jan-Ove Waldner, Wang Tao, Joerg Rosskopf and, of course, Ashraf Helmy. I even have a life-sized poster of Hugo Hoyama on my wall.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "And the first time I left Pennsylvania was to go to the Hall of Fame induction ceremony of Andrzej Grubba.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "'Just got back from Jamaica, tan almost everywhere. Jan, almost everywhere. Hee, hee.'", "c": ["Lawyer reading Michael's diary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "'Jan was very specific that this is not going anywhere,' 'that it was a onetime mistake.' 'But we had sex six times, so you tell me.' 'I am definitely feeling very eerie.'", "c": ["Lawyer reading Michael's diary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Could you make it 11?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, my parents got divorced. They both wanted custody and they both asked me to testify against the other one in court. So, I don't know. I didn't want them to get divorced in the first place, you know? I love them both so much. I just wanted...", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "You e-mailed a topless photo of me to everyone in our company. Let's call it even.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Not a woman, just a cool, great-looking, best friend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Of water.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "'I am out of carrots. I am out of sticks.' 'Mr. Scott has time and again proven himself' 'to be an unmanageable employee and a poor branch manager.' 'I recommend he be removed from that position' 'and reassigned to sales where he belongs.'", "c": ["Michael reading Jan's review"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Well, he has gone from completely hopeless to simply miserable.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "No, no, no, he works here, dumb ass!", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "See? I was number-one contender. I was being groomed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "David Wallace, 'No.'", "c": ["Lawyer reading deposition"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Yes! Way to go! See that? Yeah. The floppy-haired girl you date won a point.", "c": ["Kelly", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your boyfriend 'Cause, 'cause, 'cause, 'cause 'Cause he sucks at Ping-Pong", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Michael, I am very sorry. Oh, hey, no biggie. Just... No, no, no. This was rough. We never meant for you to get caught in the middle of this.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "I think you're a nice guy, too.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "You expect to get screwed by your company, but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "How about Chinese? We should really try to save some money. How about something cheap? That was my cheap suggestion. Chinese was my cheap suggestion.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Did I Stutter?"}, {"t": "Everybody, I just got off the horn with corporate, and basically I told them where they could stick their overtime assignment.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Michael has asked Pam and me to dinner at least nine times. And every time, we've been able to get out of it. But I've got to give him credit. He got me. Because I'm starting to suspect that there was no assignment from corporate.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Does it bother me that I wasn't invited to Michael's dinner party? [long pause with no answer]", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Let's see, since I saw you an hour ago? I have been getting ready, and then driving over here.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "This will be great to cook with... really.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "So you have an office and a work space. / I do, you know. I just... I cannot create in the same space that I conduct business. I'm sure that you're the same with your odles.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Bond! Men love this one. James bond fire! I am Bond fire... James Bond fire. Michael Scott!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "When I get frustrated, or irritated or... angry, I come up here and I just smell all my candles! And it just goes away. Just like that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "And these walls, they used to be, like white, like an asylum. So I wanted it to be softer so I had it painted in eggshell white. Guess what. White and eggshell white are exactly the same color.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "What a cute bench. / Thanks. That's my bed.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Jan has, uh, some space issues, so I curl up on that puppy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma TV.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Sometimes, I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it. I love this TV.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "What is that, chestnut? / No, it's either pine of nordic cherry. / It's pine.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Yeah, he tried to set up my Tivo for me, but then I didn't have audio for a week.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "They was between... the neon bier sign and the dundies. So I said, 'Honey, keep the trophies.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "What's up, Tuna? We gonna have some tuna for dinner? I bet you're sick of tuna. You've probably tuna every night.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You know, Pam, in Spain, they often don't even start eating until midnight. / When in Rome.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Kinda sorta an oaky afterbirth.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You took me by the hand / Made me a man / That one night / You made everything all right", "c": ["Hunter (via recording)"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You know what? Hunter was a terrible assistant. That's why Ryan fired him. / He's probably just as reliable as Pam, because it usually takes you an afternoon to get back to me.", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game. And it's called, 'Let's see how uncomfortable we can make our guests.' And they're both winning.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You don't need two of you to do that. / That's true...", "c": ["Jan", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You can buy new stuff, but you can't buy a new party.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Rhymes with Parnold Schporzenegger. / No rhyming!", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "God! Does anybody read the paper?!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "It's actually a really cute story. Do you wanna tell it, babe or should I tell it? / I don't like that story, babe. / Come on! It's a cute stor... Michael ran through the sliding glass door because he thought he heard the ice cream truck.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I mean, I like ice cream, okay? Sue me. / Oh, no, don't. I shouldn't say that jokingly because she will sue me. She loves to sue. She loves lawsuits.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You are so right. You are so right! Because before I lived here, the glass was always covered in smudges. And I moved in and I cleaned it, so I guess that makes me the devil.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You are! She is! She is the devil! I'm in hell! I'm burning. Help me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You should see our bathroom after Michael takes a bath. / But I don't need to tell you, Pam.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I have never, ever dated or wanted to do anything resembling dating Michael, ever. Not ever, not now, not then, not now, not ever, ever.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Did you know that candles are the number one fastest-growing product in the scent aroma market? $2 billion a year industry. And for only $10,000, you could become a co-owner of 'Serenity by Jan.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Thought about it. I'm in.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Dwight brought glasses and a person.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Snip, snap! Snip, snap! Snip, snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 9.25, "im": 10.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "And I bought this condo to fill with children. / I am so sorry that I don't want to bring kids into this screwed-up world. / If you want to have kids, then fine, you win. Let's have a fuckin' kid!", "c": ["Michael", "Jan"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I hate my life.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "The thought of popping one of your beets into my mouth makes me want to vomit.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I can't prove it, but I think she might be trying to poison me.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I know Jan didn't poison the food. I know that. But if she was going to poison the food of someone at that table, wouldn't it be me? Michael's former lover.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "You know I have soft teeth. How could you say that?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I was his babysitter. / And now you guys are dating? / It's purely carnal, that's all you need to know.", "c": ["Mose", "Pam", "Mose"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "At least he's an artist. / B.F.D., I'm a screenwriter. And I'm a candle maker, but you don't hear me bragging about it! / No, all you do is you get me to try to work on my rich friends.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Man, I would love to burn your candles! / You burn it, you buy it! / Oh, good, I'll be your first customer! / You're hardly my first. / That's what she said!", "c": ["Jim", "Jan", "Jim", "Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "That is a $200 plasma screen TV that you just killed! Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a year salary plus benefits, babe!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "My girlfriend threw a dundie at my TV. A plasma.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "I stole this. For you, babe.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Dinner Party"}, {"t": "Oh, today we saw a junk yard dog attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Nature.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "I lost a penny out of my loafers, Oscar.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "I will quit. As God is my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Pam, when I first opened this catalogue, I thought I was just going to be picking out a chair. But instead you found something to distract you from ever picking out a chair.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "I really want it.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Look at her smile. It's the eyes. Look at her eyes. She's got... I don't know what it is, exactly. She dresses like a professional, and yet you know there is a side of her that could just curl up on a couch. Or in a great chair.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "I definitely remember your dinner party.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "I think what I meant was that I am completely swearing off one woman. Jan.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "I like starting each day with a sense of possibility. And I'm optimistic, because every day I get a little more desperate, and desperate situations yield the quickest results.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "When Pam gets Michael's old chair, I get Pam's old chair. Then I'll have two chairs. Only one to go.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "use the woman on Page 85 as a template. That will be all.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Call us when you get there, so we know you're okay.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "If I had somebody to set you up with, Michael, then I'd take her for myself.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Are you still on good terms with any of her friends? Not anymore. It's a bitter situation.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Hello, Oscar Mayer Weiner lover. I bet that you have a bunch of very liberal girl-type friends who trust you implicitly, because they know you'd never touch 'em because of your condition.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Feisty? So she's not jolly or sassy? Not like a jolly, sassy opera singer?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Could we share a rowboat? Could a rowboat support her? I think I'm being very clear what I'm asking. Would an average-sized rowboat support her without capsizing?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "It bothers me that you're not answering the question. No, all right? No, she can't fit in a rowboat. Damn it! I knew it! I knew it, Phyllis!", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Because I want to play ball with my kids before I get too old. And before that happens, I need to get laid. And before that happens, I need to be in love.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "No, by the end of the hour, or you are fired.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Help us out. Wish I could, but I can't. Well, can, but won't. Should, maybe, but, shorn't.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "There's nobody I hate enough to write her name on this card.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Well, I'm setting Michael up with my fat friend, anyway. He can just deal with it.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Wendy's. Hello, Wendy. This is Kevin's friend, Michael. This isn't Wendy. I'm sorry. Could you put her on, please? Dude, this is a Wendy's restaurant.", "c": ["Michael", "Wendy's Employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Could I just have a Frosty and a baked potato, please? You have to come to the restaurant to order food. Well, I'll send somebody to pick it up, just have it ready. It's ready now. Well, put it aside.", "c": ["Michael", "Wendy's Employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "And as God is my witness, she shall bear your fruit.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! First, go to Wendy's, get my food, come back, and then go.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Deborah Shoshlefski, 142 South Windsor Lane. Dead, car accident. Case closed.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "As dead as every dead animal who has ever died.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Jim, how dare you? Please, not at a time like this.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "No, I mean it. She's really nice and sweet and you guys might actually get along. I don't think I'm ready. Is she hot?", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Bill Cress is super old and really mean.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Give her a 10 for her looks, and a three for her ability to describe herself.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Large hot chocolate with caramel and a shot of peppermint.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "You're asking me what I do with the checks that people write to me? Just making conversation.", "c": ["Margaret", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "And you can't see her whole body, down here, she has a boob job.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "It was like talking to the sweet, old lady on the bus. That's incredibly rude. Now you ruined it.", "c": ["Michael", "Margaret"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Andrew Bernard is the name of me, and this is my associate, Mr. Kevin Malone.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "And some people sweat too much for comfort, and... My God.", "c": ["Andy", "Business Leader"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "It's just nice to win one.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "You're messy. You're a klutz, you spill everything. And you leave the volume on the TV way too loud.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Have I not proposed to you yet? I don't... No. Oh. Well, that's coming.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "And when it happens, it's going to kick your ass, Beesly. So, stay sharp.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Wonders how he's gonna fill his car up with oil. Wonders, 'How am I going to pay my kids' orphanage bills?'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "She was stoned, apparently.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "My shoe is untied. What is your problem? Oh, my God! You thought I... No, no, no. How could I have thought that?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "Bye, bye Miss chair model lady, I dreamt that we were married and you treated me nice", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Goodbye Toby"}, {"t": "This is your last meal. So eat up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "From this point forward, you will not use the bathroom. We need to keep our starting weights high so we can lose more.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I'm taking the dumplings for my wife. / No, no, no! This is your last meal. There will be no leftovers.", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I'm excited to lose weight for the wedding because I really want to have washboard abs the first time Angela sees me naked.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Ex-squeeze me. / No, I will ex-squeeze you.", "c": ["Angela", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. One more bite of eclair each. Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Pam-cake, no, no, no. We would love your extra poundage, but you are going to be leaving us next week, so vamoose.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Pam, you weigh 226 pounds? / Almost, Kevin. / Not almost though, Holly. I mean, not-- not close to 200.", "c": ["Kevin", "Pam", "Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Math is hard.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "All I had this weekend to eat was a chicken breast and a case of diet coke. / Really? / Yeah. / 'Cause I haven't eaten anything since noon on Friday.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. The truth is I have lost a little of my speed. A little of my fire.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Here's what I used to look like. Look at those biceps. We were fighting the power and eating whatever we wanted.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Jimbo. / Ah, they moved the shower. / Did you see Holly's butt? / Nope, I didn't.", "c": ["Creed", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Because most of the time friends don't talk about other friends' butts.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "And that her butt refuses to quit!", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "That's insane. I thought you had to pee. / I'll just go later.", "c": ["Creed", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm a lesbian. / I'm gay. / I'm not a lesbian. I don't know why I said that. Stupid joke.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Oh, you think it's a choice?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I'm messing with you, Holly. / I knew that. Okay, bye.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I will be a little fish in the big apple. What up, 212?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "It's not gonna take her ten minutes to fax it, Jim.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Ang... Ela. Ela ela ela under my angerela ela ela ela eh eh eh--", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "No, no. This is where my parents decided not to get divorced.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Oh, we done good in there, half-pint. / Well, that was the last time, Dwight. I mean it.", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I wrote you a good-bye poem. It's really long. I left it... Up in my office. Could you just please wait till I go get it?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "The last word is 'seagulls.' / I'm sure it was really lovely. / I took a lot from other poems.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Something about a guy who used to work here.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I can't believe I'm saying this, but Michael is actually killing it with Holly. And I think I know why. It's because Holly is kind of a major dork.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I'm MC Mike Scott, and I am hot she's DJ Jazzy Flax, and she is the best", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I don't really know Ronnie. But I have a feeling I will get to know her very well over the next few years. And eventually declare my love for her.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Sorry I'm late. I accidentally switched my alarm clock setting to Zapf Chancery.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "You're shaking. Are you all right? / Just leave me alone! I am on the third day of my cleanse diet.", "c": ["Professor", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I just bought some bikinis online, size two. So... Gonna look amazing", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "You remember last week when that girl went missing? Guess whose candles they used for the vigil? / Cool. / Thank god they found her too. / Oh, they found her?", "c": ["Jan", "Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "When Michael told us that Jan was pregnant, he led us to believe that he was the father... By telling us that he was the father.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Yes, she is. And clinically insane.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "No! You do not talk to him like that! / But he's an idiot! / He is not an idiot. / Thank you, Holly. / He is mentally challenged. But he's doing a super job here.", "c": ["Holly", "Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Do you think that I'm retarded?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Dangerous, tacky, sharks, haunted-- no.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I have a nice comforter and several cozy pillows. I usually read a chapter of a book, and it's lights out by 8:30. That's how I sleep at night.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I'm gonna watch HGTV, and maybe go to Bungalow 8 with John Mayer.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "We call her Rice-a-Ronnie. She is hilarious. She is wonderful. A beam of light in this dark, dark office. / Not really so much.", "c": ["Michael", "Ronnie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "The nerve. / Oh, calm down, weirdo. It's just a joke. She's such a weirdo!", "c": ["Ronnie", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I was at the hospital. I lost four pounds. I don't know what those other fools were doing, but I lost four pounds.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Shotgun weddings. / That's not what that is. / Fright. Being scared to death.", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Cryogenics. Spare me five.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I don't want you to end up with a surprise pregnancy like me.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "All I care about is that we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Stanley, now all I like is baklava.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Not that guy who murdered his mother. He was not so handsome. Also Kevin.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me, and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months, I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico. / That wasn't a tapeworm.", "c": ["Creed", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I'm keeping a list of everyone who wrongs me, so when I'm back on top, they'll be sorry. Kevin just made the list.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I've even started, um, volunteering. Giving back to the community. / That's great. / You're talking about your court-ordered community service? / I don't need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean. / But he did, right?", "c": ["Ryan", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. I haven't had a very hard life.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I wanted to say I'm sorry for treating you bad the past couple of years. I-- I was in my mid-twenties, and... I was going through a lot of stuff. I think I never really processed 9/11.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Phyllis Vance, ladies and gentlemen! / You left me in a bad part of town. / Yeah, I took your purse. What are you worried about?", "c": ["Dwight", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "This big fat pig is beautiful.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Fat people are not monsters. / Bang, boom! Case in point.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Hell of an ass.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Shaved off my goatee. I am goatee-less. We are the goat-less brothers. / Yeah, yep!", "c": ["Kevin", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I'm gonna write you both up for not working. / I'm gonna write you up for not working. / Okay. Well played. / Neither of us will write the other up for not working.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Pam, will you marry me? / Oh, my god! / So? / Yes!", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "I went zip-lining my third day in Costa Rica. I... Guess the harness wasn't strapped in exactly right. I broke my neck. And... I've been in the hospital five weeks now. Still haven't seen the beach.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Weight Loss"}, {"t": "Not one of them called to congratulate me on our engagement... That, they might be off the hook for, because I didn't tell them.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "I thought you were already engaged. Nope. That was Roy. She was engaged to Roy. Thank you, Angela.", "c": ["Angela", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "I got a gift for Pam and Roy. Do I have to get another one?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "A little close to my engagement there, Tuna. What's your game here? To get married. She's not a virgin, you know.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Pencils down! Just kidding. Take your time.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "It's going to be insane. No, it's not. I have to read from the binder.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Let's get ethical, ethical / I want to get ethical / Let's get into ethics, yeah", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "And ultimately my strategy is to sort of merge this into a relationship without her even knowing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Come on. He's right there. He was hired.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Check it out, hired guy. Nice.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Even though it was an amazing ride and I'll give an example. Anyone see Survivor, Season Six? In New York City, I hooked up with a girl who looked exactly like that.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "I thought 'very strongly agree' sounded stronger than 'totally agree.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Well, I think we can all totally agree that Holly is totally fantastic.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "This meeting.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Can't set them up like that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "I'll do it. I don't care. / I'll smoke with you. / I got a bag of cigars in my purse.", "c": ["Stanley", "Phyllis", "Meredith"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "You need to be Robin Williams and M. Night Shyamalan. You need to be Robin Shyamalan.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Lauren! Enough with the pencils!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family? Boom!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "It's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "I viewed Cookie Monster Sings Chocolate Rain about 1,000 times.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "What was the dilemma? To tell you or not.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "A siesta. Time thief. Time thief. Fire him!", "c": ["Stanley", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "You are a thief of joy.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "I once reported Oscar to the INS. Turns out he's clean, but I'm glad I did it.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Well, for the past six years I have been sleeping with him in exchange for discounts on our supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Jackpot.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Exchange of steak. Have you ever had sirloin steak, honey?", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Meredith, 'the Merenator,' sleeping with suppliers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Am I in trouble here or something? / Nothing unethical happened and that you just like to sleep around?", "c": ["Meredith", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "There's not a lot of fruit in those looms. For the love of God, we're trying to help you, you stupid bag.", "c": ["Meredith", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Well, it's funny, maybe it's a girl thing, but after we did it, when he would give me those coupons, I just felt good about myself.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "You had said that you don't do anything personal during work time, so I'm just making sure.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Hey, look, monkey knows how to use a stop watch, everybody.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "It's Mike-raculous. Reaching. You'll get there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Would you care to bang it out over lunch? I already bought this.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Terminate her. Terminator. 'I'm from the future.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "I mean, I like all the crazy monsters and stuff, you know, like Klingons and Wookiees and all that, but...", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Really? That's cool. The story's kind of bland. It's about this guy named Dumbledore Calrissian who needs to return the ring back to Mordor.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Really. That doesn't sound right.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "No, it's more of an underwear garment that has little spikes, like, made of... Like sometimes they're made of metal. You know what I'm talking about? You unlock a little door that... Down where you... Where you put... Where you put the...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "At 12:45, he sneezed while keeping his eyes open, which I always thought was impossible. At 1:32, he peed. And I know that because he did it in an open soda bottle under the desk while filling out expense reports.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "It's exhausting, being this vigilant. I'll probably have to go home early today.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "And I am holding on to her leftovers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "So I guess I can assume that was personal.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Turns out being the morality police does not make you popular. I should know, because in middle school I was the hall monitor and the kids used to stuff egg salad in my locker.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "What's the only thing worse than one HR rep? Two HR reps. You get me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "I don't know, can you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Gently, with a rose?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Don't sign anything. / Get in there right now or I'm going to lose it!", "c": ["Meredith", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Wait a second, how does this steak factor in again? I think she got it as a tip, but I don't know why she didn't just take cash.", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "I don't care what she's doing, I hope she just keeps doing it. Amen. Just keep the ribs coming.", "c": ["Stanley", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Business Ethics"}, {"t": "Could you please sign my expense report? No way, no how. Expense reports are a day-to-day item. That is Jim's now. I am exclusively big picture. Epic.", "c": ["Michael", "Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Sign this. Uh-uh-uh. Where's the please? We're not animals. Sign it. No. Not without a please. Idiot.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I have a complaint about Jim. That is not big picture. I would like to file a huge, enormous, massive complaint about the tallest guy in our office.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Jim won't sign my expense report... You're trying to trick me. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I'd like to lodge a complaint... Who is this about? You... I take complaints very seriously... If you stop crying, I'll stop writing it. I'm not... That is not true.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I deserved that promotion. Not Jim... makes me want to put him in a triangle choke hold and force him down... hammerlock... gasping... panting... crowd is going crazy... I emerge victorious! Eighteen thousand dollars and a chance at the title!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Dwight, Jim wants you to keep it down.", "c": ["Unnamed employee", "Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Can I talk to you in my office for a second? Sure. But could I first talk to you in my office?", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Can I also be a boss? Look, it doesn't take a genius to know that any organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that set sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Well, to be fair, Jim, James... Jimothy. To be fair, Jimothy... That sounds weird. Are you okay with being called Jim? I am.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "You know what eats a large amount of the day are naps. You go to sleep, it's light out, you wake up, it's dark. That's the whole day. Where did that day go? I have no idea.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I need to fit into my wedding dress. However, I'm also pregnant.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Why doesn't Crate and Barrel let you register for a toaster full of cash?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I hate registries... My cousin makes the most amazing romantic birdhouse mailboxes. I know I shouldn't tell you, but you'll still be surprised when you see it.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Stanley, what was the last thing Michael said before I came through the door? You don't need to answer that. If you don't smell this, you're fired.", "c": ["Jim", "Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "What do you mean by 'these' people? This is a conference room meeting... I think that Jim has gone insane because he thinks that my office is a conference room.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I love rivalries. Michael or Jim, Paris or Nicole, Heidi or L.C... if I'm really thinking about it, and answering your question honestly, I'd have to go with L.C. Heidi's a bad friend and her skin is terrible.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "This is Michael, senior co-manager.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Wait, I'm sorry. Michael, are you texting me? I thought maybe we could talk after this is over.", "c": ["David Wallace", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Okay, you didn't let me say goodbye.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "When I am irritated and I look at you, I don't see you anymore. All I can see is how big and gross the pores on your nose are.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Hey, why haven't we ever... We have.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Do you mean, like, break in, in the middle of the night and change the numbers on payroll? No, we can do it during the day. It doesn't have to be that dramatic, Jim.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "You use your brain too much... Sometimes the smartest people don't think at all. You just came up with that. As I was saying it.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Con, you look like a nerd... Pro, you get to share your pros and cons list with the other nerds... Con, you unzip your pants and you'll find that there's a calculator down there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I've been studying Michael for years and I've condensed what I've learned into this chart. How Michael spends his time... this tiny sliver here is critical thinking. I made it bigger so that you could see it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I don't think we registered anywhere. We just want cash. Like money? Like, you want my money?", "c": ["Pam", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "In the memo line, I'm going to write, 'To love's eternal glory.'", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Is this what I've become? Materialistic? Shallow? I feel horrible. Oh, look! 'Mrs. Pam Halpert!' That's the first time I've seen it in writing.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Why don't you enliven me?... Okay. Here's a tough decision for you, you suck. You suck.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "This had better be terrible.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "It's because Jim wants to give the raises to his friends and the people he sleeps with.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "How is that going to repair Ryan's car?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "My kid needs shoes. You want to tell him he doesn't get shoes? Her kid needs shoes, Jim.", "c": ["Meredith", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "They all have heart-ons for you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "My plan, a man, Panama. That's not how that goes.", "c": ["Michael", "Employee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Each Boston baked bean represents half-a-percent raise... Who's that? Toby. He's not a part of this, you know that. Just wanted to draw a picture of him.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I will skip a turn... You're going to still have to play that bean, you know that. I need more time.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "If the people here were our Founding Fathers, the Revolutionary War would have been delayed 10 years because Stanley Washington was napping. And Phyllis Hancock was still signing the Declaration, and Kevin Jefferson was distracted by a butterfly.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "They determine our worth by putting beans on our faces.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Not according to the beans.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Is he as good a salesman as I? Is he as matronly as Phyllis?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Let us storm his castle. Come on, tick, let's get him, tock. Let's get Jim. Tick, and drag Jim out of his office, tock, take his keys away from him, tick, that's a clock.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I say no. No, I mean, what do you say to my plan?", "c": ["Stanley", "Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "What does a bean mean?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "I used to have to do this part alone. And it was the worst.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Michael's my only friend left in the office. Except Pam. I think.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "What's in here? Gin.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "$100 now, for sure... Instead of $5,000 a year from now? How sure is this? The guy has an algorithm to determine the winner of any given college basketball game.", "c": ["Pam", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Don't tell Jim.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Baby Shower"}, {"t": "Hey. * pamela-A-A *", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Of course, Now michael knows where to reach me 16 to 18 hours a week.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Hey, michael. * pamela-A-A *", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Um, tonight. I'm free tonight. Is that too eager? No. I don't care. I'm free tonight.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. Oh, tonight's no good. Because i am busy taking you out. Oh, i just remembered. I can't tonight. Why? I'm going out with you.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "In my opinion, the third date is traditionally the one where... You have sex. Does holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me, I'll know for sure.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "I am right in assuming that Dwight is short for d-Money. 'Cause that's what i wrote on your save-The-Date.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "J-Money. Or should it be t-Money, for tuna? Receptionist-Money. K-Money.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim", "Pam", "Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "What are you making? A knife. You're making a knife with a knife? You got a better way?", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "You wanna talk about it? About what? You know I know. You know they know. I know none of that. And if i did, you'd be the last to know.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "We could go to the food court, get different foods. You could get chicken teriyaki. I could get a hot dog. Some of what we order depends on whether we're having sex after.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Oh, my! Wow, elephant in the room. Are we, do you think? Do you think we're gonna have sex tonight? Hell, yeah.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "She introduced me to so many things. Pasteurized milk, sheets, Monotheism...", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Presents on your birthday, Preventative medicine. It's nice to learn new things.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "That's really fattening. No, it's lettuce.", "c": ["Angela", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "I'm a crazy 8. I'm crazy. You're crazy. Go crazy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Oh, after vous. Thank vous.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Oh! I didn't forget my keys. I just didn't want to make out with you In front of the cameras.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Do you think they can hear us? Not if we turn these dials All the way down. Now they can't hear us at all. Oh, good. We're totally alone.", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Great, they stole my laptop. Yeah, well, they stole my surge protector. How does that even compare? Oscar, i'm now going to be prone to surges.", "c": ["Oscar", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Bravo, Watson. Looks like a classic seven-Man job.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Oh, my god! So much for sex without consequences. You are such a dork!", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "So apparently Pam went out last night And accidentally called my work phone at 3:00 in the morning. I'm not drunk. I'm on minute six of this message.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Okay, i do not sound like that. You can take the girl out of philly... Scranton. The future mother of my children.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "I'm a very good screamer.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "It did when Bob said I had to stop talking to my sister on the phone so much.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 9.0, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "It's like farm aid. But instead of farms fighting against aids, It is us fighting against our own poverty", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Was this a sorority that you didn't get into a real sorority So you had to kind of form your own?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "We'll auction off people, Like in the olden days.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "It could be a pedestrian. It could be a old person. It could be a lookie-Loo. Or it could be A bruce springsteen fan-- What? Who said that? I did. Why did i say that? Oh, i think you know why i said that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Michael scored the big ticket item. Springsteen tickets. The boss scored the boss. Yeah, i think that's pretty boss.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Listen to me close, 'Cause i'm only gonna say this once. You either break off your engagement with that singing buffoon, apologize,and then date me. Or you can say good-Bye to this.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Crime reduces innocence. Makes everyone angry,I declare.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Mike gave me a list of his top ten springsteen songs. Three of them were huey lewis and the news. One was tracy chapman, fast car. And my personal favorite, Short people.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "It squeaks when you bang it. That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "It just says creed. Yeah, that's all-Inclusive.", "c": ["Michael", "Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "She thought I was mcnabb. I can see that.", "c": ["Darryl", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Hi, i'm kevin. And i'll do your taxes. Let's hear an opening bid, everybody. Who's first? Kevin do your taxes. He's the tax man. Kevin, the tax man. Federal and state.", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Fine. Okay, all right. Hey, you know what? I would appreciate it if people would stop storming off the stage.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Someone let the air out of your tires. Come quick. Oh, dear.", "c": ["Dwight", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "And you slap like a girl.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "To me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "I thought you were a friend.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Oh, where are those? Has anyone seen An envelope with Bruce Springsteen Front row tickets And backstage passes?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "I have my hug. Yeah, well, phyllis, Nobody...really wants a hug, so.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "She's your wife, you idiot. $100. 200. What are you doing? I need a hug, unless you're gonna give me one. Not here.", "c": ["Michael", "Bob", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "$1 million. 700. 700 and one penny. Humuna-Humuna-Humuna- Humuna-Humuna-Humuna--", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "No. You know what? No. Because... I'm not that guy. And we are not that couple.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "The springsteen tickets seemed too good to be true. But a lot of michael seems too good to be true. So far it's all true. But yeah, those tickets Really seemed too good to be true.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Crime Aid"}, {"t": "Stanley wearing a costume so he can sleep at his desk", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Carrie Bradshaw character asking for help walking to the fax machine", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Gordon Gekko 'From the insurance commercials'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Let's put a smile on that face", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 3.62, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Damn it, Creed. I've been up since 4:00", "c": ["Unknown", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Who are you supposed to be? Dave. Cool.", "c": ["Andy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "A cat? We were looking for kitten", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "My costume's getting a lot of attention. So apparently no one dresses up for Halloween here", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "I can't even take off my hat because then I'm Hitler", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Want to see a magic trick? I'm going to make a pencil... disappear", "c": ["Joker costume"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 3.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Look at all this stuff. It's only seven hours", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Those Duke boys are at it again. Hey, do not touch my radio", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "I said 'Jinx' and then we never talked about it again", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Or maybe to beat me up. I can never tell with those two", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Take that sweatshirt off", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Those colors are sacred. Not that I care, but if you're not a Cornell man, you probably shouldn't wear them", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "If someone who barely outsells Phyllis can get in, then I should be fine. I'm sitting right here, Dwight", "c": ["Dwight", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "I meant that as a compliment to you, Phyllis, as well as a slight to Andy", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Life is a highway I wanna ride it all night long", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Stop saying 'we.' You did not go to Cornell, okay?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Without its agricultural program, we probably wouldn't have cabbage, at least not modern cabbage", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "My blood runs Big Red", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "That Pam Beesly, she's the coolest sister-in-law on the planet. She's the best, the absolute best", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Remember that thing we did when Jim was in high school with his girlfriend?", "c": ["Tom", "Pete"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Like, she basically has a hobby for a job", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "They came up with that idea really fast", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Emphasis on the bed and the breakfast", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "I just imagined a hotel right here, pool over here, little breakfast place with really good bacon", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Did Darryl touch you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "In the last 10 years I've dated almost four women, and you are so far above them, it is stupid", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "I'm going to make this way harder than it needs to be", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "It's pronounced 'Colonel.' It's the highest rank in the military. It's pronounced 'Cornell.' It's the highest rank in the Ivy League", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "That's Big Red Bear. That's a bobble Big Red Bear. God!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "My wish has come true, incidentally, because you've met me and you are happy", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Maybe Pam should pay the check by drawing a picture on this napkin", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "We're like peanut butter and jelly. Please don't do this! Please don't do this!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "I'll go back to Jan, and I hate Jan", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "I called admissions and it looks like I will be conducting your university interview", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "That's a conflict of interest. Yeah. Big one", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "When the hour glass strikes 3:00, then in the room whence employees confer", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "If I had to put Dwight's chances into a percentage, I would say he has none percent chance", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Dane Cook, Jack Bauer and Eli Whitney", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "She only knows how to play When the Saints Go Marching In", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Miles Davis. One. Chet something. Half", "c": ["Jim", "Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "We pranked you. It was Pam's idea. Pam was the mastermind", "c": ["Tom", "Pete"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Dale Raymond Corson. I'm sorry, that's incorrect. Cornell's seventh president was, in fact, James A. Perkins", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Applicant has a head shaped like a trapezoid", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Ever heard of it?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "I had this whole thing where I go back to class, wrongly accuse another girl. Look, I even used makeup to put a ring around my finger", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Text message from my brother. 'Pam cool. Welcome to the family.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "How about at Thanksgiving we 'prank' Tom about being bald?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Sometimes when I'm down like this, it helps to sing the blues", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Bernard Farms. Best beets in the state", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "You're supposed to cook these, aren't you?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Employee Transfer"}, {"t": "Hey, sport! I heard someone got engaged, you dog! Yeah. God! Nothing can hurt you now. You're a man in love!", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I was there, and that dude is not engaged. I'm not a big believer in therapy, but I would go into my own pocket to cover his copay.", "c": ["Unknown talking head"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Big idea, double wedding! Me, Angela, you, Holly. No. We would never do that. And if we did, it would be with Jim and Pam.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Michael, I got my bridesmaid's dress. Wow, so quickly. Yeah, and you said I could get it in any color I wanted, so I picked white.", "c": ["Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Hello? Mom, I'm getting married. No, you're not. Why do you always do that? Whenever I'm getting married, you don't believe me.", "c": ["Michael", "Michael's Mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Are you getting married? No.", "c": ["Michael's Mom", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Psych.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "So I've returned my bridesmaid dress and it was on sale, so I'm out a hundred dollars.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "And I'm out a fianc\u00e9e.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "It's the receipt to my bridesmaid dress. What's that doing there? I'll take care of that for you.", "c": ["Angela", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Kelly Kapoor is our dusky, exotic, customer service rep.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Sort of a 'Kapoor's List.' Schindler's List parody.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "That's not appropriate. No.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "but Pam's a gold digger. Hey, New York ain't free.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "It's the world's tiniest Bluetooth. I found it in a Japanese gadget store in the Village.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "We wanted to stay on the phone all day, but the company has a policy against eight-hour personal calls, so we're not telling anyone.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Pam, what do you want on your coffee? Sprinkle of cinnamon. Sprinkle of cinnamon.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Dwight, your feedback is horrible. That's impossible.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I'm getting that queasy feeling that sometimes accompanies jokes. Do I look like I am joking?", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Impossible to say, I can't see myself. You're not.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Yo, Tommy Tuna. Did you get your scores yet? No. I got mine, they were really good.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I miss him.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "That's my mug. Sorry, I was just... It was right here. Right. Well, it's mine, so if you could pour it out and get another one.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "That is my mug, so give it back. How can you even be sure? That's my face on it.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Make the face. I don't see it. Dude, that is my face.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "What color mustard is his shirt, yellow or Dijon? It is spicy brown, actually.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser. Get a friend, loser!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I found the best 'tentist' on the East Coast.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "He personally tented Giuliani's first and third weddings.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Jim, they are poopy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant. I think he means smug. Arrogance. Michael, I'm just trying to... And there is our smudgeness.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I need a decent bonus because I'm actually in the process of buying my parents' house so that they can retire.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "And if history tells us anything, it's that you can't go wrong buying a house you can't afford.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Pam doesn't know about the house, so it's a fun surprise.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Maybe it's 'cause you spent the whole year flirting with the receptionist. Little bit. Worth it.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Jim, what is that called? Micro-gement. Boom. Yes.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Ring, ring. Hello? Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from the Dunder Mifflin paper company.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I am Bill Buttlicker.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Really? That's your real name? How dare you? My family built this country, by the way.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "No. I'm just on the phone with this stupid salesman. He's so dumb. Probably just going to keep him on the line forever and not buy anything.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Sorry, you just have to speak a little bit louder, I'm hard of hearing. He's hard of... He's an old man.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Buttlicker, our prices have never been lower! Stop it! Stop it!", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile and definitely difficult.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I'm going to buy $1,000,000 worth of paper products today. See how it's done? You are the master.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "You have to fire the salesman that treated me so terribly. Don't do it, Michael. It's a million-dollar sale.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "It's two stories, heated, and it has a bridal suite for my bridal sweet.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I don't want to be married in a tent like a hobo. Hobos live in trains.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Done and done-er.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "There has to be a barn that's old enough that you can see the stars through the roof slats, when you lay on your back. And antique tools to look at when you roll over.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "They might be listening to us. What's that? Who is 'they'? Customer service might be monitoring this conversation! In this car?", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Who stands to benefit from our downfall? The mob? Maybe NASA. Could be the mob.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Cute shoes online. How many shoes do you need? I don't know, two, maybe three, if one wears out.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "How many shoes do you need? I'm not talking to you. Who are you talking to? Pam. She's not here, Jim. No, she's not.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I found it. I found the perfect place. A local bed and breakfast which is on a 60-acre beet farm, and even better, I have an in with the owner.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Well, stop. Hold your breath. I still hear it. Who's there? Kelly, is that you?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "You always say that, and I almost never know. What are you up to, girl? Did Phyllis put you up to this? Stanley? Are they paying you?", "c": ["Kelly", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "You just can't come into my nook and call me stupid. And maybe if you were a little bit more nice and polite, then people wouldn't give you such bad customer reviews.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "That's what she said. That's what she said! That's what she said! Good one.", "c": ["Kelly", "Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 3.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Have you ever had a conversation with Kelly where she didn't go on for 15 minutes without taking a breath? No, actually.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Her America's Got Talent finale party over the summer. That's crazy. It was packed. I thought everyone was there. You were there. I remember you being there. I wasn't, but thank you.", "c": ["Ryan", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Boom! Kelly the whole time. Let's get her. No, no, no, no. Dwight, Dwight, Dwight.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Let me paint you a picture of a little girl from southern India, who despite being welcomed into this country will now spend the rest of her life in prison for a crime she did commit.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I was raped. You cannot say 'I was raped' and expect all your problems to go away, Kelly. Not again. Don't keep doing that.", "c": ["Kelly", "Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I did it because you guys didn't come to my party, and you said you would try to, and then you didn't even show up, and so you're bad friends.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I have an enormous amount of trouble trying to get people to come to my place. And I hate it. I can't tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I don't even know why I make it in such great quantities.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "There's free wine and cheese at the Chuck Close retrospective. Let's go. That's going to be great. Who's Chuck Close? I love Chuck Close and his photorealist paintings.", "c": ["Alex", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Why did you come to New York in the first place? Because they have a great design program, and I wanted to see if I was any good at it. And I wanted to work on my art, too.", "c": ["Alex", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "Is that the Matsahashi B-400? The world's tiniest Bluetooth. May I? Don't.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "I will work tirelessly for you over the coming months and be at your constant disposal. Please feel free to call or stop by any time of the day or night.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "This wedding is officially out of your hands. Thank the good Lord. Deal! Okay. What are we talking pricewise? You already said, 'Deal.' Pay him whatever he wants.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael", "Angela"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Customer Survey"}, {"t": "In Japan, you must always commit suicide to avoid embarrassment.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "In Italy, you must always wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "To Canada. Where is it? Canada.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "the women, the pancakes, the man of mystery", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "I am ashamed at your naked face. I must cover it with my jacket. You are now sexy in your culture.", "c": ["Michael", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "T-minus... 6.5 days.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "everyone here has just been so excited for me and involved and intrusive and weird", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "I'm going to buy a sweater. Michael, that's for your food. Well, I'll just... I'll use different money for that.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "it's pretty tough to find somebody who wants to go up to Winnipeg mid-November", "c": ["David Wallace"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "business-class air, like a five-star hotel in the sky... Actually better than a five-star hotel 'cause you get a big, cushy seat and you sit in a row of people", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Two are empty. For souvenirs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "You wanna wear that puppy right up on the breastbone like a bra. No, I don't wanna wear a bra.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "I'm just bidding a bon voyage \u00e0 la mon petite fianc\u00e9e. Translation, goodbye my petite fianc\u00e9e.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Meaning I will try to get other dudes laid. Yeah, baby. That's what I'm talking about.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "It's just a van. It's not just a van. Look, I know my way around a van. That is just a van.", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Michael G. Scott rolling like a pimp.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Yes, this is Beth. This is my personal valet/flight attendant, and she will be helping me this morning. We need to keep the aisle clear. Yes. Get back. Get back.", "c": ["Michael", "Flight Attendant"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Andy brought one, too. Harry and the Hendersons.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? My God, Oscar, really. Do you have a bag of baby poop in there, too, to share with everybody?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, there are no meals on flights less than two hours.", "c": ["Flight Attendant"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "I think I'm going to use my complimentary blindfold. I will don it and... Oh. Look at that, I can't see because I am in... God!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Is that supposed to impress me?", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Follow moi, bro-sieur.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "A concierge is the Winnipeg equivalent of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure, and when you meet one, it is intoxicating.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "I was. And then they switched to Acrobat just as I was learning Quark. I hate computers.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Good to see you again.", "c": ["Michael", "Marie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "You look, how you say, radiant tonight. And it is, how you say, a beautiful night. Michael, why? She's foreign. I...", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Everybody's going to end up dying some day, and I think it's better to die with some people that you like, like Oscar and Andy and Concierge Marie, than to know that there's somebody out there that you love that you're not with.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Come on, it's Dandy Dale and Foppy McGee over there.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Mademoiselle, beer me deux Long Island Iced Teas, s'il vous pla\u00eet.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Do you like apples? What? Do you like apples? Sorry, what? How do you like these apples?", "c": ["Andy", "Bar patrons"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "It's Christmas Eve and everything is closed and you need to get some dry-cleaning done. 12:00, midnight, where do you go? What do you do?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "I see through a hard exterior to a little jelly in the middle.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "She has the softest skin I've ever seen, and I can't wait to have sex with her. You haven't had sex? No.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "What is wrong with you? Why won't you do Andy? What? That's Oscar, and he wants to know why you won't do me, and I think it's a valid question.", "c": ["Andy", "Angela", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "I want to take you to sex school. What? Who is that, monkey? Is somebody there?", "c": ["Andy", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two different directions. What? Are there two suns? Last I checked, that's not an office building in the Andromeda Galaxy.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "It's totally unrealistic. There are no lines in the parking lot.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Get the whole nine nards.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "I thought I dreamed that. Oh, God. Oh, God! All right. Okay. This is so bad.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "This can't happen again. This has to happen again. Darryl can't happen again.", "c": ["Jim", "Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, he's gonna kill us. I'd like to see him try.", "c": ["Karen", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "He says it's cool. He said it's cool! That's all he wrote? That's all he wrote.", "c": ["Karen", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Didn't you two date for, like, a long time? Mmm-hmm. This is like a fairytale.", "c": ["Jim", "Karen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "What's first base with Angela? I get to kiss her forehead.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "You up for a chest bump? No. Bro hug?", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "The trip sucked, David. It blew chunks. It was terrible. It was a bad trip. I did not like the trip.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "which was basically just a van, and business class which was basically just coach", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "A boss that will not fire you even though you just tell him off right to his face over the phone, that's respect.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "It's just designing logos and stuff, and I miss Scranton, but it is not because I missed you.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "I'm not going inside. All right. First thing in the morning, then.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "I realized that, for whatever reason, I just couldn't do better than Kelly.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Business Trip"}, {"t": "Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching your tongue?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat? No, thank you. I'll stick with my jerky.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "To socialize. And inform.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "I'm taking two so I can parcel them up and eat them... at my leisure later on. Much healthier.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Why don't you send that to him in Costa Rica?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Great practical joke, Jim. Got me to go to the annex.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "No! God! No, God, please no! No! No! Nooo!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Look at him. With his stupid face. Stupid... tan.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "He looks worse. / No", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Not on the surface, no. But I can tell... People are disturbed, David.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "I learned a while back that if I don't text 911, People will not return my calls. But now people always return my calls, Because they think that something horrible has happened.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Also it's icky back there. / That's true. People say it's icky.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "It is because I hate him. / You have to get along with Toby. / No. / I don't.", "c": ["Michael", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Do you see this? Disgusting.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "I got peepers of an eagle.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "So Jim, you're gonna live in the same house that you used to pee the bed in?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "And why would you wanna buy ugly wood from trees when you can have paneling and a painting of some creepy clowns that is apparently crucial to the structural integrity of the building?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "We should hang out by the Quarry and throw things down there. / Definitely, we should.", "c": ["Creed", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Get off your high horse, richy. / Just because someone likes things clean doesn't mean they're rich. / Nah. They're rich.", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "You wanna see some real high-Caliber acting? Well, Mr. Kurt Russell, you are about to be served.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend, but that is like trying to be friends with an evil... snail.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "I feel like Neve Campbell in Scream II. She thinks she can go off to college and be happy, and then... the murder comes back and starts killing off all of her friends.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "I am the bait. / For what? / Men find me desirable.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Oh, it's a good day too. I'm wearing my mustard shirt.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Are you inching away from me? / No. / Reach your arms out. / I'm always this close.", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Please hug and kiss me, no matter how hard I struggle. I am too shy to tell you that I love you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "I'm not going to punch you, Michael. / Are you really not going to punch him? / No, why would I punch you? / Son of a bitch.", "c": ["Toby", "Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "I've framed animals before. I framed a raccoon for opening a Christmas present. And I framed a bear for eating out of the garbage.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "But sometimes, the ends justify the mean.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "I'm not wearing a wire, so...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "I guess that's why we have a temp, huh? / Oh, no, trust me. I would just make it worse. / How would wiping it with a paper towel make it worse? / I would find a way.", "c": ["Pam", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "My name is Andy Bernard. Andrew Bernard, that's my name.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "That's my salad. / So wait a minute. There's no drugs? / No. / Oh, damn it. Come on!", "c": ["Michael", "Police Officer", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "You wanna hear a lie? / What? / I think you're great. You're my best friend.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "Let's have sex one more time, and if you have any extra cash, that would be amazing. / Okay.", "c": ["Ryan's girlfriend", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "But I'm actually not allowed in here, so.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless...", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 9.15, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Frame Toby"}, {"t": "WHY DON'T YOU EXPLAIN THIS TO ME LIKE I AM AN 8-YEAR-OLD.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "THERE'S THE 'X-AXIX.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "WHY DON'T YOU EXPLAIN THIS TO ME LIKE I'M FIVE.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "I'LL BE SIX.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "OKAY, BREAK IT DOWN IN TERMS OF, UM...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "OSCAR, NO. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR ONE OF YOUR PRINCIPLED STANDS.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "EXACTLY. THAT SHOULD TELL YOU HOW TERRIBLE THE CHAIRS ARE.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "YOU ARE THE SILENT KILLER. GO BACK TO THE ANNEX.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "EVER SINCE PAM AND I STARTED DATING, I JUST FEEL A LITTLE WEIRD ASKING HER TO MAKE COPIES FOR ME.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "JIM, GOOD FOR YOU STANDING UP TO PAM LIKE THAT. THE BALLS ON YOU, MAN.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "I SWALLOWED ALL YOUR IDEAS. I'M GOING TO DIGEST THEM AND SEE WHAT COMES OUT THE OTHER END.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "156 PACES FROM THE LIGHT RED MAILBOX, MAKE A LEFT.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "WALK UNTIL YOU HEAR THE BEE HIVE.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "WE'LL DIG A TRENCH.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "NANA MIMI CANNOT SQUAT OVER SOME TRENCH.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "WE'RE GONNA PUT OUT STUMPS. COME ON.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "I HAVE LOOKED AT 12 VENUES. I HAVE LOST EIGHT DEPOSITS. AND I HAVE SEEN ANGELA NAKED ZERO TIMES.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "BEESLY, ARE YOU THREATENING ME?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "I LOVE YOU. BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW YOU'RE ON VERY DANGEROUS GROUND.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO BE MORE SPECIFIC.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "MANURE COVERS UP THE SMELL OF THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "YOU WANT TO EAT, DON'T YOU?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "SO I GUESS THAT'S HOW THEY'RE GONNA PLAY THIS. IT IS ON. SO ON.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT IN FIVE YEARS, I'VE HAD TWO ENGAGEMENT RINGS AND ONLY ONE CHAIR?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "MICHAEL, THAT IS HILARIOUS. OH, IS SOMEBODY MAKING FUN OF ME? THE BEST! GREAT FRIENDS. THANK YOU, MICHAEL.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "NO, NO, I GOT IT AT TJ MAXX, $4.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "CHECK OUT THESE PANTS. $9. THE BOYS DEPARTMENT.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "LOOK AT THE ASS. CHECK OUT THE ASS.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "EVERYONE SITS ON A CHAIR EVERY DAY. BUT NOT EVERYONE SITS ON A COPIER.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "I WOULD LIKE A COW BUTTER SCULPTURE OF A CAT.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "CATS DON'T MAKE BUTTER.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "AND I HAVE MY ORIGINAL. SO SUCK IT.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "YEAYAH! THERE'S THAT ASS. HEY, HEY! YEAH, UHN, UHN! OH, DON'T TAKE IT AWAY!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "ALTHOUGH BORN JUST MINUTES FROM HERE, HE SPEAKS ONLY GERMAN. CLOSED SOCIETY.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "DID SOMEBODY CALL HANK? HANK, THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE. THE OFFICE IS AT A CROSSROADS.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW I HUSTLED UP THE STAIRS.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "IMAGINE THAT YOUR PARENTS GIVE YOU MONEY FOR A LEMONADE STAND-- I KNOW WHAT A SURPLUS IS.", "c": ["Michael", "Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "NOT MUCH LUMBAR SUPPORT.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "THE CHAIRS ARE VERY WEAK. VERY WEAK CHAIRS. I COULD NOT SIT ALL DAY IN THIS CHAIR.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "I MADE A MISTAKE PICKING ANDY.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "HE'S A REAL MINISTER. AND YOU SAID, 'I DO' AND I SAID, 'I DO.' AND ANDY WASN'T SIGNING A RECEIPT. HE WAS SIGNING OUR MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE AS-A-WITNESS.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "SOME OF THE CHOCOLATE POWDER JUST WENT DOWN MY THROAT. I'M STOPPING NOW.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "LIKE A TIP?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "I HATE DISAPPOINTING JUST ONE PERSON. AND I REALLY HATE DISAPPOINTING EVERYONE. BUT I LOVE BURLINGTON COAT FACTORY.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "YOU GO IN THERE WITH $645, YOU ARE LITERALLY A KING.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "IT IS ERKEL-NOMICALLY CORRECT.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "YOU THINK KIDS IN AFRICA HAVE CHAIRS? NO. THEY SIT IN BIG PILES OF GARBAGE.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "WE THROW OUT PERFECTLY GOOD TIRAMISU BECAUSE IT HAS A LITTLE TINY HAIR ON IT.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "MICHAEL'S A GENIUS.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "HEY, MICHAEL, WHAT'S 394 TIMES 5,912?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "HEY, TUNA, CHECK IT OUT. TUNA SANDWICH. JUST LIKE YOU.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "IT IS A CLASSIC MANAGEMENT TACIT.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "NEVER BUY A FUR COAT WITH A CREDIT CARD UNTIL YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY FOR IT.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "SOME PEOPLE THINK IT'S COOL TO THROW BUCKETS OF FAKE BLOOD ON YOU AS YOU ARE WALKING OUT OF BURLINGTON COAT FACTORY.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "TOTALLY KIDDING. I'M GONNA NEED FOUR.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Surplus"}, {"t": "Dwight's over-the-top karate demonstration with sound effects - 'Got you! Broken arm. Boom! Boom! Boom! Broken nose!'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Jim's talking head: 'the one thing that thousand-year-old martial arts do all the time is change'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Dwight's absurd scenario: 'You are all members of the Yakuza, visiting the Lackawanna Trolley Museum, and you are attacked by Triads'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Kevin refuses to attack Dwight: 'Last time, you pulled my pants down, and then you tried to choke me with my shoelace.' 'False. I did choke you with your shoelace.'", "c": ["Kevin", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Jim suggests Dwight fight himself: 'I think the most worthy opponent of you is you'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Dwight's caveat: 'unless there happen to be measles present'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Dwight begins fighting himself in elaborate physical demonstration", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Jim and Pam's commentary on Dwight fighting himself: 'he's making you look like such a fool' 'He really is'", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Jim continues commentary: 'You two are so evenly matched, I don't know how one of you is gonna get the upper hand'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's claim about stand-up comedy: 'I did stand-up comedy once. Yeah, I killed. That sounds like it was hilarious. It was hilarious.'", "c": ["Michael", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's email confusion: 'I get like eight e-mails a day'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Erin's confusion about 'the Journal': 'Your feelings journal? You told me to put it in the time capsule'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Article paywall: 'It's $1.99 to finish the article'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's dismissive 'Are you serious?' about paying $1.99 while Jim says 'Tuna beat me to it'", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Dwight's job offer: 'You can all have jobs at Schrute Farms as human scarecrows. It doesn't pay much and you can't unionize'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's suggestion to David Wallace's assistant: 'maybe you should spy on him. Oh, my God! Wouldn't that be hilarious?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's phone sign-off: 'I'll catch you on the flippity-flip'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Bathroom exchange: 'Did you throw up in there?' 'No, just pooping. You know how I be.' 'But it smells like throw-up' 'Crazy world, lot of smells'", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Andy's talking head: 'it's time for the Nard-Dog to take matters into his own paws'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's stress response: 'I need more Mullins'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's rhyme: 'Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey pee all over you. That rhymes.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Stanley's work philosophy: 'I only slack off when things are good'", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's murder announcement: 'There has been a murder!' 'What?' 'There's been a murder in Savannah'", "c": ["Michael", "Office"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's game therapy speech: 'Battleship got me through my parents' divorce. Operation got me through my vasectomy, i.e., My Operation'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Jim's callback: 'Tube City. You owe me one'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Jim's explanation of Tube City: 'plastic tubes all over the office and placing hamsters inside of them'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Food negotiation: 'There will be food. You leave, you do not get food.' 'What kind of food?' 'Sandwich platters.' 'I'm in.'", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's character suggestion: 'So if you talk slowly in real life, your character could, say, have been kicked in the head by a horse.' Kevin: 'Cool. I'll try it.'", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Characters revealed: Andy as Nathaniel Nutmeg and Erin as Naughty Nellie Nutmeg, the incestuous siblings", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Stanley's character discomfort: 'I'm not comfortable with this.' about playing Voodoo Mama Juju", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael complaining about his character: 'I have to play Caleb Crawdad, handsome playboy. Every night a different woman, being ogled, having to hug and kiss and spoon. I make them feel beautiful.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Southern accent debate: 'You don't have to keep saying I do declare anytime you say something, it means you're declaring.' 'That is the way Southern people talk.' 'And what designing woman are you basing that on?' 'Delta Burke, I do declare.'", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Accent criticism: 'You sound like Forrest Gump.' 'I do not.' 'Well, you do, actually. You got this kind of like Florida Panhandle thing going, whereas what you really want is more of a Savannah accent, which is more like molasses just sort of spilling out of your mouth.'", "c": ["Jim", "Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Swedish Chef confusion: 'Oh, now do the Swedish Chef.' 'I'm not familiar. What province is he from?' 'He lives on Sesame Street, dumbass.'", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Toby's arrival interruption: 'Sorry, I'm late, boss. What's going on?' 'Sir, there has been a murder, and you are a suspect.'", "c": ["Toby", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Andy's date proposal: 'I would be remiss if I did not ask the pretty young lady out on a date for this weekend.' 'Sounds like a plan, sugar.' 'All right! A plan it is.'", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Stanley's voodoo backstory: 'It's not my fault. I was exposed to Harry Potter.'", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Dwight's murder logic: 'It's never the person you most suspect. It's also never the person you least suspect, since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most. Therefore, I know the killer to be Phyllis, the person I most medium suspect.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Character flirtation: 'How about a threesome?' 'Yeah. My boudoir's always open.' 'Nice.'", "c": ["Andy", "Erin", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Andy's worry: 'I'm a little worried I might have asked out Naughty Nellie and not Erin. Which would be a whole lot less appealing, because Naughty Nellie says yes to everyone, and she might be a murderer.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Financial crisis in character: 'This plantation, we're running low on greenbacks, and we're having problems paying the people who give us the seeds and the dirt. We can't pay them.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael skipping ahead: 'I'm gonna skip forward to a really big clue. Here we go. Well, by now, you figured out that old Beatrix Bourbon was the killer.' Phyllis: 'What? Michael, I was doing so well.'", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's character commitment: 'I do believe you have me mistaken. My name is Caleb Crawdad.' when Jim tries to talk business", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Weekend at Bernie's reference: 'I was just thinking about Weekend at Bernie's. So funny. The guy's dead the whole time.' 'I haven't seen it.'", "c": ["Michael", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Date reality check: 'Did you mean a real date?' 'No. Did you?' 'Totally not.'", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Erin's confession: 'I thought it was for real. So I was excited, but it was part of the game.'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's interrogation escalation: 'Stop playing games with me, Crawdad!' 'This is not a game! This is my life!' 'You are out of order, sir!'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "'Snapped or stuck?' 'Both. They're both worse.'", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Crime scene recreation: 'Because this is the recreation of a crime scene. I'm the dead body, and these are my brain chunks.' 'Hey, shut up. You're dead.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Michael's defense of the game: 'They need this game, Jim. Let us have this stupid little game, all right?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Phone call deflection: 'Tell him I'm not here.' 'No, I only answer to Detective Wallace, 'cause I got a warm body in the other room.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Jim's lifeboat metaphor: 'if you're a family stuck on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, one parent might want to just keep rowing. But if the other parent wants to play a game, it's not because they're crazy. It's because they're doing it for the kids.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Stanley's exhaustion: 'Today is the hardest I have worked in a long, long time.'", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Triple agent reveal: 'Andy revealed himself to be a double agent, at which point, Dwight felt comfortable revealing that he also was a double agent, and then, Michael announced to everybody that, get this, he was a double agent.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "Phyllis's practical ending: 'Hey, I want to go home. Get the keys out of my purse, start the car.'", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Moroccan Christmas"}, {"t": "12 miles an hour. eat that, carl lewis!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "Angela made several 9-1-1 calls about cars going too fast in front of the building, so the police put up a radar gun. it's actually caused a bit of a traffic hazard.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "wow, 13! no, no. no, there was wind. i was just jogging. dwight, there was wind.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "31! 31! there was a car. i was ahead of the car. 31 is my new number.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "31 is humanly impossible.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "he says that he wants to talk about big picture stuff. and i'll be honest, i have little or no idea what that means, so... probably bad.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "new year, new candy. whoo-hoo! okay, be careful, kevin. they're kind of spicy. hot tamales. yeah. so maybe just try one at first, and then if it's okay, have a couple more.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "no one has rsvp'd to our wedding yet, and the deadline was yesterday.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "andy still doesn't know that angela's having an affair with dwight. and it's been 17 days. i mean, eventually he'll figure it out... when their kids have giant heads and beet-stained teeth.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "how can he still not know?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "what is wrong with you? she is engaged. did you ever have intercourse in this office?", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "are you serious? ugh. where?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "where, dwight? seems like you already know where.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "oh, i'm sorry. i didn't realize i was doing something wrong. if i had, i would've admitted it and stopped right away. because i wouldn't want an innocent person who doesn't know anything about the form--", "c": ["Kevin", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "that was good. it just at the end, you weren't saying something that could also apply to the form. how about 'i'm sorry i did such a whorish job filling out this form.'", "c": ["Oscar", "Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "that cannot be true! you're going to charge me a fee to cut my own cake? uh, no. no, no, no. what i'm saying is i want to cut it myself.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "trade seats with me. no. i've got a better angle on pam. i can see everything. please stop.", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "rule 17. don't turn your back on bears, men you have wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season. there are 40 rules all schrute boys must learn before the age of five.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "learn your rules, you better learn your rules, if you don't, you'll be eaten in your sleep", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "you've got to tell andy about us. that is a terrible idea. one of your worst. get it over with. then we don't have to hide anymore. you're expanding on your worst idea.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "do you love me or not? i've already admitted that i do. why do you keep making me repeat it? because you're engaged to andy.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "is she crazy in bed? yes. stop. how so, specifically? what? okay, listen. eager and flexible.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "i am already walking. michael, once this gets out, i don't know how it's gonna go down. okay, what does that mean? might get ugly.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "and just bear in mind that when i say-- say these things... that are bad things that you hear... in your ears, this is something that i... if i were you, that i wouldn't want to hear. you're not making any sense.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "well... no, i'm not. so i-- i'm not very articulate today, so i'll just leave it for another time. another day. which'll be fine. i'm off. have a good meeting. thank you. kick wallace's ass. okay, i will.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "dwight and angela are having an affair, so. i can't hear you through the glass. dwight and angela are having an affair. they've been sleeping together for some time.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "i knew something bad was gonna happen today. you said that yesterday. yeah, my neighbor got murdered.", "c": ["Michael", "David Wallace"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "what are you standing for? if i'm sitting, i can't disable his neck or his groin. you're not gonna do anything to his neck or his groin. if i'm sitting, i don't have the option to.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "would i have said yes to formal chrysanthemums if i didn't want to get married?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "are you sleeping with dwight? a little bit.", "c": ["Andy", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "i mean, we were together, and then he killed sprinkles. and then we stopped, and... i don't know exactly when we started up again.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "david, here it is. my philosophy is basically this. and this is something that i live by. and i always have, and i always will. don't ever for any reason do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what. no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or-- or where you are going, or-- or where you've been... ever... for any reason whatsoever.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "sometimes i'll start a sentence, and i don't even know where it's going. i just hope i find it along the way. like an improv conversation. an improversation.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "so, like, missionary? i said nothing fancy.", "c": ["Andy", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "you know what? i'd also like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for lying to my face. and not telling me what's been going on this entire time. you are welcome.", "c": ["Andy", "Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "it's over. oh, good. she broke up with you. no. it's-- it's over between you two.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "she doesn't love you. she's marrying me. well, i don't know about that because she certainly seems to enjoy making lovemaking with me.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "angela bernard. will never be her name. it will be her name, and you will have to call her that.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "i will fight you. nope. okay, fine! good! a duel. the winner gets angela. fine! fine!", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "my bare hands. that is stupid. i will use a sword, and i will cut off your bare hands. then i'll get something too.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "i've had two men fight over me before. usually it's over which one gets to hold the camcorder.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "i feel the need... the need for tweed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "i can't believe they're gonna fight over me. i guess people have fewer choices as they get older.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "dear dwight, by now you have received my note. how are you? i am well. you are no doubt wondering why i have left this note.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "it's come to my attention that in any physical match with you, i would surely be bested. true. the soft underbelly of my refined upbringing is my soft underbelly.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "the prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour. he deserves the win.", "c": ["Jim", "Creed"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "protect her from what? bears, you idiot? when's the last time you saw a damn bear in scranton? last year, idiot!", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "you're like a sasquatch. you live in the woods. sasquatches are the strongest animal on the planet! so fine, call me a sasquatch.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "i don't get it. how could she be sleeping with you this whole time and only sleep with me twice? what? what? she's sleeping with you? i'm her fiance. she said she was only sleeping with me.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "yes, hi. my last name is bernard, and i would like to cancel a wedding cake that i had ordered. b-e-r-n-a-r-d. yeah. the one shaped like a sailboat.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "wow, what a day! ha ha! i thought i was gonna get chewed out. but hold on! here's an attaboy for you. what? roller-coaster ride. roller-coast.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "The Duel"}, {"t": "Dwight obsessing over a random red wire, Jim dismissing it as normal computer parts", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Dwight reveals he bought 500 feet of red wire at a flea market for $20", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael: 'Fax? Why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Office debate about whether Hilary Swank is hot begins", "c": ["Stanley", "Kevin", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "The Hilary Swank vote ends in a 5-5 tie", "c": ["Jim", "Office"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Multiple people volunteering to seduce the fictional daughter of Prince Paper", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim", "Others"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael's alias is 'Michael Scarn'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Dwight vs Michael Denny's vs IHOP argument", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Dwight's elaborate surveillance analysis of Prince Paper's storefront", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael: 'There are clouds. Bad for business.' Dwight: 'Only if they were altocumulus, not cirrostratus.'", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "The 'danger signal' is licking lips, demonstrated awkwardly", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael's talking head about the food chain ending with 'single-cell shark'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael to Vietnam vet: 'Vietnam. I hear it's lovely.'", "c": ["Michael", "Mr. Prince"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Kevin: 'A painting can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting.' Stanley: 'TMI.'", "c": ["Kevin", "Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael demonstrates drinking from a cup like he's never seen one before", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael: 'Laughter is my job. Tears are my game. Law is my profession.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Dwight to Mr. Prince's son: 'Get rid of this guy. That's my son. I'm your son now, you can visit him on holidays.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Jim's elaborate Kevin fantasy scenario about Hilary Swank", "c": ["Jim", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Kevin's extended silent reaction to the Hilary Swank scenario", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Dwight badmouthing his boss (Michael) to Mr. Prince, not knowing Michael is listening", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael asking Linda (the grandmother) to pose for a picture", "c": ["Michael", "Linda"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael helping the kid with math, getting confused by exponents", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Kevin: 'I kept expecting a plot twist where Hilary Swank was actually a boy'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Angela: 'Hot is a temperature, people' but then declares Hilary Swank hot", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Angela: 'She's a female Boris Becker'", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Dwight asking for a ride after claiming he took the bus", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael and Dwight's excited celebration: 'We struck the mother lode!'", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael and Dwight backing over something while fleeing", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Karen: 'If you're saying Hilary Swank isn't hot, you're saying I'm not hot, because obviously I'm not as hot as Hilary Swank'", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Mr. Prince fixing Michael's car for free after they damaged his property", "c": ["Mr. Prince", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "We don't give Kevin full internet access", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Oscar's scientific explanation using 'koinophilia' to prove Hilary Swank is not hot", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael calling the coffee 'disgusting' instant coffee after accepting their hospitality", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael: 'Good-bye Prince family. Should be called the Sucker family.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael's extended shark metaphor about helping their victims", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'Wallace would use that information to destroy them' delivered matter-of-factly", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Dwight's series of nature metaphors about animals devouring each other", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'Save your heart for love and use your brain for business'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Stanley: 'I have less' (than 20-30 years) due to family history", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Stanley's final verdict: 'She is... hot' with dramatic pause", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael comparing business to Lord of the Rings: 'If Frodo hadn't destroyed the ring, goodness itself might have died'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael running away with the client list while Dwight chases him", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael: 'Those people will be ruined!' Dwight: 'It's business! It's not personal!'", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael: 'I'm not a shark'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Jim: 'That's the thing about debating. People just get entrenched in the view they had in the first place'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael: 'It is bitter because I slightly destroyed a wonderful little family'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael: 'That's why I hate bittersweet chocolate. Why not just sweet? Who are you helping?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Michael sees Hilary Swank photo and immediately says 'Oh, she's hot' then 'Damn it!'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Prince Family Paper"}, {"t": "Last week, I gave a fire safety talk, and nobody paid any attention. It's my own fault for using PowerPoint. PowerPoint is boring. People learn in lots of different ways, but experience is the best teacher.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Today, smoking is going to save lives.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Fire! Oh, fire! Oh, my goodness. What's the procedure?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "What's the procedure, everyone? What's the procedure? Stay... calm! Everybody just... calm down!", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "I forgot my purse! Leave it, woman! Things can be replaced, Phyllis! People, human lives, however...", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "My hand! That's hot! This one's hot, too. Okay, we're trapped. Everyone for himself!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Stay alive, I'm getting help! Pull me up! You're too heavy. I only weigh 82 pounds.", "c": ["Oscar", "Angela"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Save Bandit! (Cat yowls)", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "The fire's shooting at us!", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Stanley! Barack is President! You are black, Stanley!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "A lot of ideas were not appreciated in their time. Electricity. Shampoo.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "When no one headed... 'Take headed of.' No one would take headed of my instructions. So you... 'Heed.' 'Heed.' 'Take heed of.' 'Take heed of.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Can you shove down? Shove down, please.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "A mars life is in my hands.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Nobody should have to go to work thinking, 'Oh, this is the place that I might die today.' That's what a hospital's for. An office is for not dying.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "An office is a place where dreams come true.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Boy, have you lost your mind? Because I'll help you find it! Did I stutter?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "A throne for your highness. (Andy in British accent)", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "That could be a little confusing, because in sales ABC means 'Always Be Closing.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "We are not always going to be there to coddle your heart back when it disappears to be working.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm working in my own casket.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "If we come across somebody with no arms or legs, do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin. You don't do anything.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "How many is that per hour? I will divide and then count to it.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "First I was afraid, I was petrified (to Staying Alive tune)", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "That's how I know you. (CPR instructor to Creed)", "c": ["Rose"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Check for an organ donor card. If he has one, we only have minutes to harvest.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Clarice. (Dwight wearing dummy face mask)", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "I didn't think it was very realistic in the movie, and it turns out it's pretty realistic.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "And now Dwight knows not to cut the face off of a real person.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "We don't normally download films illegally because we're honest, hard-working people. And we don't know how.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Jim and Pam are like movie geniuses. They're catching things that are totally going over my head.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "I state my regret.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "You couldn't have memorized that? I could not because I do not feel it.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "I filled him full of butter and sugar for 50 years and forced him not to exercise.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Lily was supposed to be Nicole Kidman. And it was going to be Sophie's mom, not grandmother. But then Nicole Kidman dropped out, so they went with Cloris Leachman, with a small rewrite.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "We mostly just talked about cereal.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "If you're wearing a dress, please keep your knees together, nobody wants to see that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "That one makes me think of death. It's kind of nice.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "And they give you a funny cigarette and you feel even more relaxed, and then you want ice cream.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Racism is dead, Stanley. You can have any kind of ice cream you want.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "That's what he said. Right, guys? Because of gay.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "So it wasn't Dwight after all. Looks like I'm the killer. You never expect that you're the killer. It's a great twist. Great twist.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "50 percent of marriages end in divorce, so it was her parents or my parents.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Look at that perm. That perm is so boss. It's what made me want to become a boss.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Who here has the Comedy Central Roast Channel? Everybody gets together and you start hurling insults at the one guy, and everybody's laughing and everybody is hugging each other.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "I consider myself a good person, but I'm gonna try to make him cry.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Lower the mike for the midget.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "If you ever put sun block on a window, you might be Michael Scott.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "A turtle, a fridge, anybody from the warehouse. A wood chipper, Kevin, a candle and Lord Voldemort.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Michael, you ran over me with your car.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "You pathetic short little man. You don't have any friends or any family or any land!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "He's supporting about 20 Nigerian princesses.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "If it were an iPod, it would be a shuffle.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "What's his name? I'm thinking Roy. Roy left years ago.", "c": ["Michael", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Stanley tried to die just to get away", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "My thing isn't tiny, it's average, so get your facts straight.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "My guess, he's either deeply depressed or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. He has this terrible habit of standing directly underneath them and staring up at them.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Michael is so dumb that he tries to put his M&M's in alphabetical order.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "But he feels sorry for me because he has an incredibly powerful microscope and he can see my face.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "When you're a kid, you assume your parents are soul mates. My kids are gonna be right about that.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "These muffins taste bad. Or an art critic. That painting is bad.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Jim, you're 6'11\" and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Angela, where's Angela? Well, there you are. I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck and you're gayer than Oscar. Boom. Roasted.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "Stanley, you can throw away those pills. You are cured. Actually, better hold on to the pills, just in case.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Stress Relief"}, {"t": "(MICHAEL BREATHING HEAVILY ON PA)", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "This is your captain speaking. The office will be flying at an altitude of two stories. Look out your left-hand window and you will see Vance Refrigeration.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "I am the ghost of salesmen past.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Hello, Doctor. I was just following up about my mole again. Now, I was looking online about sebaceous zits. I have not been squeezing it. Could I stick it with a pin?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Toby Flenderson to the principal's office. Your mother called and it appears that you wet the bed again, so you have to get home to wash your sheets because they're yellow and they're wet with your urine.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "And, at 6'6\", from the University of North Carolina, Jim Halpert!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Jim's reaction to Michael's PA antics - visible exasperation and sighing", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Would you like fries with that? Please drive around.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "And we're off. Like a herd of turtles.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Well, Pam and I have eloped. Actually, we just robbed a bank and we are on the lam.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "my 11 business herbs and spices in a sales batter", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "He brought a sled. / No, that is a toboggan. You never know when you're going to find a snowy hill.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Every magician has a hot assistant and every rock star has a roadie and Pam is my hot roadie.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "No, don't say \"bucks.\" It's not ladylike.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Have you ever seen a magiciars assistant? That's... This is a new cardigan. Kind of blech. Maybe you could tie it around your waist or lose the shirt underneath or something.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Hi, Kelly. Screw you. / Excuse me. That is no way to address a superior. / Oh, yeah? Screw you, too.", "c": ["Dwight", "Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Party planning? I am a paper salesman. This is literally the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. This is humiliating.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular girl.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "No, I need silence or Sam Kinison to prepare. / But then you fall asleep and there's nothing for me to do. / Then listen to your iPod, Pam. That's dangerous.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "You nervous about seeing Karen again? Since she was the other woman? / Actually, you were the other woman, so...", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn't hate me. But Karen knows me and she still hates me, so...", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "She's out of your league, Andy. / For your information, I've been with lots of beautiful women. / Sexually? / This conversation is over.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "What we have here is the ultimate smackdown between the Nard-Dog and crippling despair, loneliness and depression.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Screw you guys. You're dead to me. / If you say screw you one more time... / Yeah, screw you, beet farmer, I didn't forget your birthday.", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "I guess my only wish would be that nothing so terrible would ever happen to anyone else ever again. / Oh, God. Okay. / In a way, it's good that it happened to me because at least I can bear it.", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Don't be nervous. Just picture her naked. / Stop it. / That's what I do. Steal my trick. / Please cut it out.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Wow, you're huge! That's incredible. / I... God, sorry, sorry. My head just exploded.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "I'm trying to figure out the last time that you and Jim had sex, and... / Let's just get this over with, shall we? / Ten? Ten months?", "c": ["Michael", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Dwight, this fits in the palm of my hand. / You haven't blown them up enough. / Why have you chosen brown and gray balloons? / They match the carpet.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "\"It is your birthday,\" period. / It's a statement of fact. / Not even an exclamation point? / This is more professional. It's not like she discovered a cure for cancer.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because, if so, you are succeeding. Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal mars.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Andy trying to look at CDs in someone's car and setting off the alarm", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "This is going to be hard for me to speak today, because I just learned that my father has died. / No, he didn't. He is alive. And this isn't even a cell phone. This is a calculator, but you bought it and now you can't return it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Do you need to go pump? / Not gonna have to do that until after I have the baby.", "c": ["Michael", "Karen"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Would a liar bring mini Mounds bars?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "(SINGING) I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America And to the republic for which it stands One nation under God With a woof-woof here And a woof-woof there Here a woof, there a woof Everywhere a woof-woof", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Shirty, mole, lazy eye, Mexico, baldy, sugar boobs, black woman. I have taken a unique part of who you are and I have used that to memorize your name.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Baldy, your head is bald, it is hairless, it is shiny, it is reflective, like a mirror. \"M,\" your name is Mark. / Yes. / Got it. It works! / Uh, it's very insulting. / But it works.", "c": ["Michael", "Mark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "She is pregnant. She is knocked up. \"K,\" Karen.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Stanley, I know you have adult-onset diabetes, so I put Splenda in yours. Let's see, how many did I put in there? (SINGING) One, two, three, four Splendas in your coffee, Stanley None in yours, Julia, because I don't know how you take it", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Four Splenda? Are you crazy? / No, I actually only put in two, but that's not how the song goes. / Are you out of your damn mind?", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "We are friends. Stanley, we're friends. / And you let me down. / You really like her, huh? / Yeah, I really like her with all my heart.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "I grab this, and I turn it on and I say, \"Prepare yourself for the Utica Chain Store Massacre.\" / No, that is incredibly dangerous. / No, don't worry, the chain is off. / No, it's not.", "c": ["Michael", "Karen"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "So is there a guy or a person or a sperm machine that did this to you or...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Old hatreds dissolve into new friendships. This is really a wonderful moment.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "How does your boyfriend deal with your phenomenal success? Is he just, like, totally threatened by you, or... / Actually, I don't have a boyfriend. / Really? Is that... Wow, that's so weird.", "c": ["Andy", "Julia"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "This is how I got Squeaky Fromme. / No small talk. Just show her who's the boss. / Just go right in and kiss her.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "What's a Nard-Dog? / This is the Nard-Dog. / Whoa! What the hell?", "c": ["Julia", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "I thought we had this energy and I'm a mess and I just had my heart broken and you came in today and you're so pretty. You're, like, incredibly pretty.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "I'm going to call you about that order. And maybe about that mall walk.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "We lost the account.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "It's Mose. Who do you think it is? / Mose doesn't know how to use a phone, so joke's on you.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "How old is she? / Twenty-four. Thirty-seven. / Do you think I'm calling you for your best approximation?", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Kelly Kapoor spent April 1995 to December 1996 at Berks County Youth Center. / Juvie.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "She was the love of my life. What you and Jim have times a hundred. Just... She... She just left and I didn't... I never got closure.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, just blow off the lecture at Rochester? / Yeah. Screw them, let's do this.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lecture Circuit (1)"}, {"t": "I have now memorized all of your names. Shirty, mole, lazy eye, Mexico, baldy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Hi, Kelly. Screw you. Excuse me. Screw you, too. You forgot her birthday.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Juvie.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Two. I didn't eat lunch. I didn't eat all my lunch.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "She's hypo-allergenic, she doesn't struggle when you try to dress her, she's a third-generation show cat. Her father was in Meet the Parents.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "How much? $7,000. For a cat? I can get you a kid for that.", "c": ["Angela", "Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "I sold Andy's engagement ring on eBay.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Seven grand. I've got to see that little bitch.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "this company still doesn't recognize cat maternity. I mean, somebody has a kid, oh, sure, take off a year.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "She's right. I had my second kid just for the vacation.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Because their office is only accessible by cross-country skis.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "My boyfriend dumped me, so I stole his boat. He told me it was his boat. It was actually his father's.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "I just thought it'd be really romantic, like Thelma & Louise, but with, like, a boat.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "I thought you said yesterday was your birthday.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "I hate it. How do you hate it? It's a cake.", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "I forgot if there was an 'E' between the 'L' and the 'Y.' I still don't know.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "It's birthday. Frosting. Those aren't themes.", "c": ["Jim", "Kelly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Nice job on the cake, bozo. Okay, you know what? Next time, I'll let you get the cake and I get to scream at the birthday girl.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "She's not here? But if you need to get in touch with her immediately, you could talk to A.J. He's a salesman here. A.J. Yeah, he's her boyfriend.", "c": ["Nashua receptionist"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "She has a boyfriend. I'm so sorry, Michael.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "And then she'll move back to Scranton, and her boyfriend will die.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "That one ugly cat is humping Princess Lady. No! Awesome. Stop it, Mr. Ash! Bad cat, that is very bad.", "c": ["Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Is this how you are with Pam? Because she must want to shoot herself in the face.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Good morning, Viet-Nashua!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn about paper, and get them to show us the money?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "A.J. What kind of name is A.J.? What, do you race cars?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Does it feel good? Does what feel good? Your life.", "c": ["Michael", "A.J."], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "That was weird, huh? It's all part of the presentation.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Sales is like a box of chocolates. You never know which vendor you're gonna get.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Blazer, freckles, penguin, K.D. Lang, Holly's boyfriend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "I have a chainsaw! Cutting down the competition.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Where is that bad cat? You know who you are. Excuse me, Petals, I'm looking for Mr. Ash. He's a bad cat. Bad, bad cat.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Is she cleaning the cat with her tongue?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "The psychological issues that go behind licking a cat are not things I want to go into. Also, I'm pretty sure she coughed up a hairball.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "I went through Holly's things. What? I stole a sleeve of her sweater. I also stole something off of her computer. A document called 'Dear Michael.'", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "our ideal party consists of beer, fights to the death, cupcakes, blood pudding, blood, touch football, mating, charades and, yes, horse hunting.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Here's one. It was dark, warm, wet. A sudden burst of light, an intense pressure like I'd never felt before. Father dressed in white pulls me forward, mother bites the cord.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Schrutes don't celebrate birthdays, idiot. It started as a Depression-era practicality and then moved on to an awesome tradition that I look forward to every year.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what's even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Why is there a Chiclet on my cake? That's the best part. That represents a pillow. Or a television.", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Because the fun part is you get to decide on an hour of television or an hour of napping. That's our theme.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Can she pick a half hour of each? No. No.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "I'm too excited to sleep.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Birthday time is over. Now go make up for all the work you missed when you were taking your nap.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Who have I wronged? Who have I wronged? Oh! Oh! What about that fat guy from Stamford that I insulted? We should find him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "Jabba the Hutt, Pizza the Hut. Fat guys like pizza, pepperoni pizza, Pepperoni Tony.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "You know what? Forget it. I know me. When I saw him I would never be able to apologize to him. Too fat. Big, fat fatty.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Lecture Circuit (2)"}, {"t": "basically,95% of my job. but i'd like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "vending machine.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "Michael suddenly appearing and contradicting Pam's claim he's not in", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "okay. i'm,uh,i'm gonna bgoing.", "c": ["Salesman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "that was funny. thatwasfunny. let's go do it to somebody else.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "and she was way hotter than stacy. so if you think you're hurting- i can't even imagine.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "you're only engednce. well,present company excluded,but- really,jim. on cupid's birthday.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "roses are red,violets are blue, it's time for your dental cleaning and maybe a check-up,too.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "especially me,because of my great capacity for emotion.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "and the sexy looks between you and pam- the general sexiness,the flowers- it's creating a bit of a hostile work environment.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "it's so sexy it becomes hostile.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "so suck it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "hey,everybody. i just invited jim to suck it,and i am cordially inviting all of you to a special convention- a- a lonely hearts convention this afternoon.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "i've trained my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. also,i can retract my penis up into itself.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "Michael fainting at the sight of the needle/blood", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "can i point something out to you? sure. you're actually talking a lot.", "c": ["Kevin", "Unnamed woman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "i feel like a human juice box. hawaiian blood punch. type o-cean spray.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "those mines aren't gonna sweep themselves.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "Kevin fainting after looking at the blood bag", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "i was so nervous about this i don't think i ate for three days.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "she ft her glove. i need her name if i'm gonna return her glove.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "now it's just a stupid baby.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "he's talking about michael,dwight,and andy.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "okay. sorry. let's- who else? oscar? i don't think so.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "everyone here who's bowled a 280 please raise your hand. no way. 280? that's impressive.", "c": ["Bob", "Others"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "okay. noeveryone here who's bowled under 70 raise their hand.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "jim uses a six-pound ball. yes,he bowled five frames with this pink,sparkly thing until a little girhad to ask for her ball back.", "c": ["Bob", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "you could always model ladies' jewelry.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "a week later,a friend of mine calls me up and he says,i just saw him in a gay bar in kansas city.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "when things went bad,they had a duel over me. yeah,dwight and andy. we were here.", "c": ["Angela", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "he made non-refundable deposits on his honeymoons, so he's just knockin' 'em off one at a time.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "i think today he's hot air ballooning,and later he's got a couples' massage.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "oh,my god. i think the eagles could clench the n. f. c. east. and she said that we're done.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "a net?a giant net?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "i am going to shoot my sparrow at unsuspecting victims, and they are going to get hit,and say,i'm in love! i was hit by cupid's sparrow.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "funny little bird,but he gets the job done.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "i'm okay. feel a little lopsided 'cause of all the blood they took out of my right side.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "i can untie any knot. i'm serious. name a knot,any knot. go ahead. you shouldn't believe everything you hear. in fact,there are many knots that i cannot untie.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "oh,god. tons of it.", "c": ["Lynn"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "they've been in there for like ten minutes. bob ordered hot food. and i think they gave him too many fries.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "no,i- i mean,before i left her. she left me.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "meredith recently had a total hysterectomy. so that's sort of a repair.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "i think our blood bags touched.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "is this the party? nah.", "c": ["Creed", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "seriously. feel how sweaty my hand is. that's really sweaty.", "c": ["Kevin", "Lynn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "look,we already have a paper supplier. okay. well,thanks for wasting my time tonight. idiot.", "c": ["Erik", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "sometimes it's not about whether cinderella gets her slipper back, but it's about the fact that the prince even picked up the slipper at all.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "pardon me. may i have a chocolate chip cookie? i gave blood earlier and i'm still feeling woozy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "that's weird. you got a cotton ball and tape and we've been using band-aids.", "c": ["Hotel worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Blood Drive"}, {"t": "Character trying to tell knock-knock joke while someone is on phone, creating overlapping dialogue chaos", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Buddha this bread for me, won't you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "There's butter on my desk", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "We will ask the questions.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Mine was retribution.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "The KGB will wait for no one.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I am not Michael. I am Willy Wonka!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "These are extraordinary jelly beans!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "profiligate", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Too many words. Good ideas are simple... Golden ticket.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "NASA took five or six golden ticket ideas to get men on the Moon.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "No, you don't.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I'm a textbook over-thinker.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Guys with girlfriends don't.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "That's low, Tuna.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Was it a spoiled little girl with big lips? Or an odd little boy with a cowboy obsession?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "You found five golden tickets? And does it say 'Limit one per customer'? Nope, it doesn't.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "You idiot. Start over.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "What is a pallet?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "There's a one in thirteen chance that this could be anybody's golden ticket idea.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "He's not back from the civil rights rally. I'll have him call you the minute he gets back from the Lincoln Memorial.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "An Obama fashion show. Whatever that is. Or 'Trapped in an oil painting.'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "The good news is... they can't fire all of us, right? They can. No, they can't. Yes, they can.", "c": ["Stanley", "Oscar", "Stanley", "Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories and whimsy", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "It is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Does that mean an idea that blows up in our faces later?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Why don't you skip on up to the roof and jump off?", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "He's having a colonoscopy.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "My colonoscopy was an examination of my large colon and the distal part of my small bowel with a camera.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "There is an explanation that involves me not letting it happen. And I just don't... I don't... know.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "We might have hired an outside marketing consultant. We might have hired... OK, what firm? You're breaking up.", "c": ["Michael", "David", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I just wanted to congratulate you on that great golden ticket idea. That was your idea. Who told you that? You did. Several times.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight", "Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I wrote it down in my diary. You don't keep a diary. Yes, I do. You've just never seen it.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "To keep secrets from my computer.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I wasn't given candy as a child, so a movie that fetishized it that much would have made no sense to me. Plus we weren't allowed to see movies.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Like that? No. Stop it.", "c": ["Ryan", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Put your heart out there like that, it's liable to just turn into this blackened carbon brick. It has barbecue sauce of shame and rage.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Nacho chips. I was thinking about how the skin is the largest organ of the body.", "c": ["Andy", "Ryan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I did fall on my sword once. I was running with it in my belt. Won't happen again.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I have an idea for a fancy men's shoe store called Shoe La La, and it's just men's shoes for the special occasions in a man's life", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Although I probably will never do it again, I had fun. I really had fun with my best friend, Dwight.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "He can do the same, right now, by getting fired instead of you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I just want to say that this golden ticket idea is one of the most brilliant initiatives I've ever seen at this company, and how about a big round of applause for Mr. Dwight Schrute!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Never know when it's gonna strike. How did it pop into your head? Just... 'boom.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "You've been talking about that movie for years. I even made fun of you when you dressed up as Willy Wonka to pitch this idea", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "There's not a dog listening in? I hear panting.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "There is no movie called Willy Wonka. It's called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.", "c": ["Marketing person"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "It's a net, a circular net you put inside the toilet to catch your change and your wallet from falling into the toilet?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Horse boat! A canoe built around your horse so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Everybody has to go to the bathroom.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "It's Michael's idea that he forced on me on threat of death!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I do want the credit without any of the blame.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "Nice. Boobs.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "I just got out of the shower. One second. When you are done, open the door.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "We have other houses to visit. If you wanna come back then, that'd be fine. We'll come back at... How is 4:45? I get home from work around 6:00. How about 5:15?", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim", "Dwight", "Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Golden Ticket"}, {"t": "15-minute round of applause followed by 15-minute moment of silence", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Michael agreeing with Jim because he's wearing a tux", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Like the opening of a car dealership. That's it. Or Mr. Peanut.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "He is a regular peanut. He just happens to have a cane, a monocle and a top hat. That's what makes him classy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Dwight suggests the exact same ice sculpture idea twice, Michael rejects it then accepts it", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "I said that!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "D\u00e9class\u00e9. French! Classy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Miner? I hardly know her!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "It is Prince Charles Miner! At your service. Sir Charles Miner", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Charles awkwardly standing there as Michael orchestrates elaborate entrance", "c": ["Michael", "Charles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Dwight stalling with Scranton coal mining history", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "I turned the bagels from O's into C's, for Charles. Took me all night.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "This is what you did last night?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "The former was my lover, and the latter my best friend", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, he's like a black George Clooney.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Jim's elaborate tux explanation falling flat with Charles", "c": ["Jim", "Charles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Not more crazy than wearing a tux at work.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Took him 40 minutes to get ready.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Nerd alert!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Michael oversharing Oscar's entire romantic history", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "She has slept with a bunch of different guys in the office. The one over there, in the orange.", "c": ["Michael", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Kevin has no sexual history. Hey!", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Michael, I don't need to know everyone's sexual history.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Michael claiming he didn't want to worry people while Charles reveals bad news", "c": ["Michael", "Charles"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "What about your party?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "I am thrilled that the new boss has taken such an active interest in all of the responsibilities that I'm supposed to have. Thrilled.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Truth be told, I think I thrive under a lack of accountability.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "If we hire Cirque du Soleil as salaried employees, will that help us with the year-end tax stuff?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "African-Americans have such a rich history of unusual names.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "No, I worked at a company called Saticoy Steel.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Jan would mostly come by when she was super horny", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Call me ASAP as possible.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Michael Scotch... I've got David Wallace's son in the trunk of my car", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Charles picking up phone meant for Michael", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Charles brings lunch on same day Michael brought breakfast", "c": ["Michael", "Charles"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Nobody thanked me for breakfast except Charles.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "I think it's a little hypercritical.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Kevin asking for overtime after Charles just said no overtime", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Michael and Charles repeating each other", "c": ["Michael", "Charles"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "He just skipped the Ace Ventura talking-butt thing. He never skips it. This is bad.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Cupcakes and strippers all the way down.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "You pet the animals, they pet you back.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Headline. You have been here one day. End of story. End of story! End of story!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "You don't put paper into a furnace! If you put paper into a furnace, you know what would happen? You'd ruin it!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Dwight explaining his fake assistant position", "c": ["Dwight", "Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Michael listing weird life sacrifices to David Wallace", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "And for my next trick, I will make my career disappear.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Kelly talking about half black, half Indian kids to no one", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "I think he left. What? Move!", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "He does not need to go dumpster-diving for companionship", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "You have no idea how high I can fly.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "New Boss"}, {"t": "Should've peed before I left", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Revolving door, broken. So I have to take the normal door.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I was so nervous, it was the wrong building. I had walked into the wrong building.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "He finally has a story we really wanna hear. And he knows it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "You have no idea how high I can fly", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just winged it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll have one of my own someday. But I dream.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Scotch and Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets drunk like Scotch.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Clinky. Clinky-clink. Come on. Come on. Come on.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I'm gonna stay up all day. I'm gonna sleep up all night.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "you don't just look in the want ads for a job. You're headhunted.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Any really good headhunter will storm your village at sunset with overwhelming force and cut off your head with a ceremonial knife.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Right, 'cause that's what we're talking about.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Your 'I need you to' is my command.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Is this wine? Busted. Yes. I already have wine.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "For regional manager, I've decided to go with an outside hire. For obvious reasons.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Soon could mean anything. Soon could be three weeks. Is that what soon means to you? Sometimes. Then come back soon.", "c": ["Kevin", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Bandit, no! No, no, no!", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "It's monster.com. Singular.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Hi, you've reached Prince Paper. We are sad to inform you that after 40 years of serving the community, we are no longer in business. Thank you for your support and may God bless you. Bye!", "c": ["Prince Paper recording"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "What am I gonna do?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I'm going to start my own paper company.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Do you know that the industry's in decline? Yeah. Oh, God, I practically invented decline.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Close your eyes. I'd prefer not to. Just close your eyes.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Close them. Okay. All right. Michael Scott Paper Company.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I am not going to do this. Obviously. And you are not going to, either. Agreed. Except...", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Typical American arrogance that got us involved in a war we never should have been in. That's a really... World War II.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "That is either an incense dispenser or a ceremonial sarcophagus. My German is preindustrial and mostly religious.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Somebody's been talking in bed. Pillow talk.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "This is a dream that I have had since lunch and I am not giving up on it now.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Could I take a piece of paper and just tape it with transparent tape? Yeah. Good. Thank you very much.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "We're really tight. We're like the Kardashians.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I mean, I didn't have any. You know, to stay trim.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I am aware of the effect I have on women.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "She's turning 50 this year.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Location is hard for me with the farm... That's what I was thinking. ...and the responsibilities, so... That's what I was thinking. With the farm. You getting to wherever... It's so crucial... ...I'm gonna put my thing. Okay. So, think about it. Yeah. Let's put a pin in it for now. You know, I would love to put a pin in that.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "It's not ready, Kevin! I am at a crucial point where I have sunk four hours into that copier. And I am not gonna let it beat me like that wireless router did.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I made it sterile. Just saying sterile doesn't make it so.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Can you go five years without a salary, Michael? Okay. Five years? You already have the job. You don't have to convince me.", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Listen, Stanley, you don't need to answer me now. No. Just... I want you to think about it. No. Okay, you're not letting me finish. No. And you just lost out on a million dollars. No, I didn't. You know what? I had a great time at prom. And no one said yes to that, either.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I know all the buttons. Even the inside ones. I know all the error messages. I could do a bound book in plastic with offset colors, which feels...", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I have immunity. It's my two weeks. Not if you're starting a competing paper company, Michael.", "c": ["Michael", "Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "You really think Hank is going to be loyal to you? Hank, please escort Charles from the building.", "c": ["Charles", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I always thought Michael got a bad rap. He's a good guy. And he's super funny. Yeah, maybe I should tell him before he goes. He's all the way over there.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "And I feel free!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "And just like that, as mysteriously as he arrived, he was gone.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Andy, he's gone. I know. You don't have to kiss his ass anymore.", "c": ["Stanley", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Michael's like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch. And then when it's over, you're, like, how much time is left on this flight? You know. Now what?", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Don't look down. Look straight up. Come on. Please. These are for employees only.", "c": ["Michael", "Angela"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I was going to. I wanted to. But I had to start somewhere. And you didn't want to start with us? No. Of course not. But now I want everybody.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I did have a chance to think about it, but then I thought about something else.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "This is not Michael Scott talking right now. This is your future. Hello. I am your future. You are older and you are very happy now, because you went with Michael Scott, right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Are you doing your best here? Are you being the best that you can be? All right, everybody who's gonna go with me, I want you to stomp your foot.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I think maybe Hank should be here. Hank? You know, I don't need Hank. You're gonna mess with me? Is that what you're gonna do? I'll tell you something, Charles. I don't even care, because I've got nothing to lose.", "c": ["Charles", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "I'm going with him. What? Pam. I'm going! Pam, you can't be serious. Michael, wait! I'm coming with you. You are? Yeah.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Great. Except I don't want to be a receptionist anymore. Right. Executive assistant. Salesman. All right. Okay. Deal. Deal.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "It's not how you leave an office. It's how you... Jim, Jim, Jim. We're having a company meeting here.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Phones? Also, there's been way too much wasting time. So, Stanley? Yes? Yeah, I want you on top of that. Okay, I want you to be my productivity czar.", "c": ["Charles", "Kevin", "Stanley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Two Weeks"}, {"t": "Michael showing blurry photo claiming it's Johnny Depp in his condo complex", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I read in People magazine that he was looking for a two-bedroom condo in Scranton", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Well, you remember my idea for the fourth Pirates movie. Sure. That they should do one.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Jim calling Michael's pirate impression 'Cap'n Crunch' instead of Captain Jack Sparrow", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "You know, it's not easy getting excited about stuff", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "It also explains why the name on his mailbox was M. Schulman", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "M. Night Schulman?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "First up, the Lost and Found has gone missing. It itself is lost", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "But will be... Damn it! No, no, no. Meeting's not over.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "You couldn't handle my undivided attention", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "make friends first, make sales second, make love third, in no particular order", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "All right, Dwight out! Salesman is King. As the best salesman, I am King of Kings", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Oh, you say Jesus is King of Kings? Well, what does that say to you about how I think of myself?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Honey, if I don't have time to answer an email, I definitely don't have time to walk over to your desk", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Stop sexting Pam", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Great. Teddy, nice. Let me just... Let me write that down real quick. Pencil. Give me a pencil.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "The sales department smashed my sandwich. Yes. All of them. Together. It's a conspiracy.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "That's what she said. Yeah.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "You know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that I have something that you want", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I am sick of your uppity attitude, Jim", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Okay, just imagine that instead of going to jail for murdering someone, you got an ice cream cone. If that were the case, then in the summertime, everyone would go around killing people for the pleasure of an ice cream cone", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Well, if that is what I am required to do, I will do exactly that. Exactly that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Gabe has instructed me to hand out the leads, so I am going to give the leads to King Creed. And to King Meredith! And to King Angela. Because today we are all kings and queens", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "These aren't leads. What are they? Oh, right. Those are clues, and within each clue is a lesson", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I'm trying to make your kids respect you, because a father needs to respect his boss, and kids don't respect the father who doesn't respect the boss. Do you understand that line of logic? I don't even think you understand it. I do understand it.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "How the tables have turned!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "It's gonna cost you some clerical work. What are these for? It doesn't matter. Fill them out. All of them. And when you're done, you can watch me shred them", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I want to watch The Kardashians, okay? I don't want to watch Bored To Death. It's mindless! Kardashians is a good show. It is... Thank you, Stanley!", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I am currently reading incoherent riddles on blue index cards to find vital information that Michael has hidden all over the office. How are you? Nothing but vomit and diapers over here. Oh, my God. I couldn't envy you more.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "When arrogant salesmen are mean to my face, a certain manager will go to his moppy place. He means his mopey place. It's under that street lamp that he thinks was in Casablanca", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Today I turned an office crisis into a teachable moment. A lesser manager would have screwed this day up royally", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Hey. I guess you probably won't give me your leads since I'm a jerk salesman. Yeah. I basically wish you were dead", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Colder. Warmer. Colder. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. Warmer! Hot! Hotter. Burning hot! Lower. Are you... Lower. Are you sure? Lower.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "The treasure you seek is in the parking lot under the first president? Lincoln. The prankster is getting pranked", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "You are never going to find them. Really? I'm going to enjoy this. Give me the leads! Where are my leads? Give me the leads! I'm still enjoying it! Where are they? They're in the trash", "c": ["Kevin", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "All right, Meredith. Take off your dress. Okey-dokey. No, dear God, no. It's in the trashcan. In the kitchen. It's coming off either way", "c": ["Dwight", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I emptied it in the dumpster. It had Toby's baba ghanoush. If we don't patronize the only Syrian restaurant in town, there'll be nothing left but pan pizzas and, you know, make-your-own-salads", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "What day is today? Tonight is Ghost Whisperer, so Friday. Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no, no!", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Hey, hey! Wait! Wait! Okay, you know what? Let's just go to the dump, start looking. Ryan, come on. Shotgun in my car", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "You were all successories", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "This place has gone to hell", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "You know, Dwight, there was a time you'd be pinching yourself to have the opportunity to look through a dump with me. Yeah, well, the acorn becomes the oak. Yeah. Well, sometimes the acorn just stays an acorn. If you don't believe me, look in my gutters", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I have new baby pictures. Jim. Don't use your cute baby to make us like you. She's wearing a Onesie. Stop it.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "If we act nice now, then we're rewarding them for treating us poorly. Didn't we kind of start it? Mmm. I think you're remembering that wrong", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I mean, a lot of their work can be done from India", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "You've changed, man. Oh, why, 'cause I have a shot at a 100K commission? Since when do you care about money? When I first met you, you were a wide-eyed innocent. Hey, there is nothing I can do about my wide-set eyes", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "And I had an offer from Ivan Schotsky. The Ivan Schotsky. If I had assistant managed him... Assistant to the managed him. Oh, that's low! I would be number two right now at a Home Depot!", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I hitched my wagon to a horse with no legs", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I should have been out at bars finding my soul mate, finding my wife, making babies. Nice babies you're making with the floozies at the bars! That's my wife you're talking about, man! Your made-up wife who doesn't exist?", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "You watch it! If I'd wanted to hit you, I would have hit you", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Stop it! Give me that. That's my spool!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Pam texted back saying we could give them all iPods. If they don't have an iPod by now, they really don't want one", "c": ["Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Erin just texted me back. 'People love shells from faraway beaches.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Amazing, isn't it? No other animal on Earth could do this. Maybe beavers. But not like this", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "So, how about, guys, 1% commission a month instead of 2%? What do you think... No. No, we agreed 2% for the quarter", "c": ["Michael", "Sales team"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Way to go, guys. This... This was an integrity move. Yeah. When we walked in here, we were all prepared to tell you to go to hell. Do you have any pastries without fruit? Yes, we do. Eclairs", "c": ["Stanley", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Well, you better be happy, taking 2% of our... 2% milk! What I forgot for the coffee. Yeah, treats, Stanley. They've accepted our simple offer of treats only, nothing more", "c": ["Jim", "Stanley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "This? Why would somebody throw that out? Waste. Hey. You know who'd like this? Phyllis. Purple much? Yeah, she does. She loves purple", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "You know what would be a great picture here? Just this whole dump, and in the middle, one flower. Mmm-hmm. That's it. Wow. And the caption would read... 'Hope grows.' 'In a dump.'", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "Is the good news that you found our leads? No. Better. We have an awesome beanbag chair that's perfect for the break room. I'm never gonna sit on that disgusting seat. Yeah, damn right you're not, 'cause it's for me and Michael only!", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "I have warm blood. Oh, wow. Thank you. You're the nicest person I've ever met", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "Dream Team"}, {"t": "It's britney,bitch. And I am back in the form of a new company- the michael scott paper company.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Okay. Not gonna make this one.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Love thhair.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "They took away my parking space, but they can't take away my pride.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Welcome... To theichael scott paper company.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "You realize you're not actually talking to me,right?", "c": ["Charles", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "So kelly kapoor has decided to hover around my desk so that she can run into charles' office every time he calls for kelly. She thinks that if she says 'you wanted me,' enough, he will,in fact,want her. It's not the worst plan she's ever had.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "If we're changing names,can I be erin? It's my middle name.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Well,you know what my middle name is? Rajani ghanda- and I hate it! Ihateit!", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I thought rajani ghanda was a boy's name.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Six yeses,one maybe,only 11 nos. Um,and 788 not yet replieds. But of that group,782 have viewed it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "It is a coupon for unparalled customer service.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I make that one copy and I become the girl who makes copies. And by the end of the day i'm receptionist again. And the worst part is,I like making copies. The paper comes out all warm and stuff. And it's cold in there,'cause it's technically a closet.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Oh,no! Clearly a hunter... Who knows how to throw an outfit together.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I studied him to figure out why I hated him so much. But that blossomed into a very real friendship,as these things ofn.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "She'd probably be a six in new york, but she's,like,a ven here in scranton.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "What the hell is a rundown?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I'm gonna dive into the rundown. I'll be exhausted,'cause 's like a triathlon.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "A woman was murdered on this very floor in 18. haddie mcgonagle she was a prostitute.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "No,this whole place used to be a brothel. There was a tavern on the ground floor.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "She was bludgeoned to death by the business end of a riding crop.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Just kidding.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Oh,this is awkward.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.05, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "That is so insulting. How is it insulting to say that you're good at something? Because the thing that you're saying i'm good at is pushing a big green button a bunch of times.", "c": ["Pam", "Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I could run gm,but I couldn't fix a car. It's not saying that one is better than the other.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I need somebodto make a copy of this! Because I don't make copies. I'm the boss. Got it? I make originals.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Hey,you been watching damagesthis year? It's so good. No,you gotta tune in. It's as good as anything on hbo.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take - Wayne Gretzky \" - Michael Scott", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "That's me and my friend jasmine,from thailand. I don't want to look at your friend jasmine's boobs all day.", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "You could be hot too if you made any effort aall. Like how? Dying my hair blonde? This is from the sun.", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "They're getting on my nerves,mom. Both of them. R thinks he's too good to be here, and p is not as much fun without jim.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Michael,we can hear you. I'm on the phone. Please. Mom,i'm gonna have to call you back. P is being a giant b.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends. And they are right. So I hired my best friends. And this is what I get?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "When I saw you talking to erin earlier, I noticed that your pupils dilated and your skin flushed. And i'm assuming a little bit of blood rushed into your penis.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Well,a little bit of blood rushed into mine as well.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I'm a better wing man than I am a boyfriend,so... I just want you and I to hang out,you know. Just... Boom.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "There are four corners in this room. Each corner is to be a personal space for each one of yo whichever corner you want. And make it your own.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "One,two,three,what are we gonna do? Cner idea. No,you're supposed to say rock the house! How would we know that?", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "His rundown better be really good. I don't know. But it sounds like the rundown is really important.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "He did a doughnut in the parking lot in front of a cop. And then he yells,'hey,cop,you like doughnuts?' then we drive off. No,he just stayed there.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Pam,that's my corner. I thought that was your corner. No,this is where I work. I can't relax in the same corner where I work. So my corner's the one with the copier?", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Pam,i don't make the rules.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Oh,this is just something i'm taking a break with. But I will get back to the rundown,uh,right now.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "You're working hard on this? No,not- not too hard. Not harder than I should. Right. I mean,why work harder than you should?", "c": ["Jim", "Charles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna sit here for a little bit longer,if that's okay. The air smells so good. I don't remember it smelling so good. The chairs are so comfortable.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Maybe the michael scott paper company was a huge mistake. I should leave. I should go and start my own paper company. That'll show 'em.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I'm texting. I don't want to get my hands sticky.", "c": ["Random person"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Just faxing my dad a rundown.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "A little scrap of paper.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "These are terrible,bs. You've gotta make 'em in a circle so that they cook evenly. They're shaped like paper. I don't even want these.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "It's really technically proficient,but you know, there's really no heart or soul in it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "you have to stop.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I once had dream that I was eating a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. And let me tell you something,it was delicious. So the next day I decided to make that sandwich. And in real life it is disgusting. It is a disgusting sandwich.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "God! Don't tell him we have free delivery. We already offered free delivery. They don't know that.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "And I guarantee... That you will be satisfied. 'Cause your satisfaction is our guarantee. We guarantee it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Who would have thought that the thing that wld save this company would be work?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "I realize that we don't have the biggest office. Which is a surprise because 165 square feet sounds like a lot...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "someone went to the bathroom.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Literally,every song is better a ppella. Name a song. Cherry pie. Warrant. Better a cappella. Really? Yeah.", "c": ["Andy", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Michael Scott Paper Company"}, {"t": "Turns out there's no limit to the number of cheese puffs you can throw at someone's face.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "We're getting pretty good at it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Several years. Wait, no, that can't be right. No, timeline's messy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "the haunted graveyard of their love", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Trust me, you will not be walking, you will be boogying.", "c": ["Wedding Singer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "$9,000. I don't know, it seems like a lot for an a cappella group from a college we never went to.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "These sleeves are cutting off my circulation. There's not enough blood getting to my hands.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Doesn't Charles know he's compromising my attack readiness? It's not a dress code. It's a death sentence.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "When Michael was in charge, this place was like the Roman Empire. And the Wild West. And war-torn Poland. And Poland.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "And in that chaos, I soared.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "It's for your trouble. I don't need $6 to help a friend. No, no, listen, as a friend, I want you to have it.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "But don't forget, you owe me $10. That was four years ago. Why don't you let it go?", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "It's so scary how right the things you're saying are. And you're coming at it with almost no knowledge, so of course I trust your opinion on this.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Also, try to discuss it over Indian food, and try to mention how you distrust women.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna do that. That is smart. That would not seem genuine. Ryan? I can get there.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly. Your mama say you ugly, hey! Go Michael Scott Paper Company!", "c": ["Michael", "Pam", "Ryan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I'm here. I'm part of this now.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I prefer to stand. Less blood clots.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Like a wolf, thank you.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Oh, no, is it Mose? Did you put the cover on that well?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "No, Mose is fine. I roped it off.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Very cool, very Will Smith-esque", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "So is this for a movie that you're writing? No. Can I use it? No!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I'm not a barbarian.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Is the cool new guy Charles? I've said too much. Is it Stanley?", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm so happy. I'm so happy! Like, total freedom, you know?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Let me be your traveling pants.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "What'd you do that for? You know what I was doing. Okay. Totally.", "c": ["Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, run, run! It's a setup! It's a setup! Dwight, run!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I understand nothing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "It's like a girl says she'll make out with you, but then her boyfriend is waiting around the corner with a pee-filled balloon.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I got hit in the face with a pee-filled water balloon, Pam, okay? I don't know how they did it. They filled the balloon with pee. A funnel. I don't know!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "When I look in the mirror, I don't like the face that looks back. Well, so what? Your body's a 10.", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I am going to steal all of your clients, and then I am going to kill them in front of you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Bill Cosby.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "And you have bad skin. Look, everyone, we're all making observations!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I spent a month putting that Rolodex on his BlackBerry, which he now uses as a nightlight.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I thought Michael Scott left the paper business after his nervous breakdown.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Master and apprentice pitted against one another for the fate of the greater Scranton area paper market. So it's not exactly like Highlander, but still.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "At what time? Noon. You have two seconds.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I hit a bear. He's technically fine. I imagine the true horror will be when he wakes up in a zoo.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "You? Me. What about our truce? I broke it. On purpose? Yes.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "And I knew that you would do that. Their meatball parm is their worst sandwich!", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I was just calling to see if Michael Scott Paper was meeting all of your paper needs, and how is Brenda, age four, ponytail, and Simon, age seven?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Schrute comma Dwight. And on the back he wrote, 'Great salesman, better friend.' 'Tall' and 'Beets.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "And say hello to Shari, who is your black wife.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "It is like you are buying software from Bill Gates. Are you saying you invented paper?", "c": ["Michael", "Schofield"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Jim Halpert is very upset and disturbed. I don't know if it was something you did, something you said, a look you gave him. Maybe it was nothing at all, but here's the deal, okay? It stops now!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Man, he got me so good.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "It's not the soil, it's the manure! Paper is the manure! On-time delivery is the soil!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "Spin move!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I barge, because I care.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "I color-code all my info. I wrote 'gay son' in green. Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it. Orange means, 'Orange you glad you didn't bring it up?' Most colors mean, 'Don't say it.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "How is Tom, the homosexual sophomore?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "And the great tragedy of the Civil War is that brother fought against brother. For what? What purpose did that serve, apart from abolishing slavery? In that case, war was the right choice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Heavy Competition"}, {"t": "It's 4:30 in the morning. Do you know where your kids are? If you are Ryan's parents or Pam's parents or my parents, you do. They're gonna be in this van. With me. Who am I? Nothing to fear. I am just a 44-year-old guy with a paper route.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Time to make the donuts!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Come on. No, I promise I won't do it again. Come on.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "De-nied!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Ever since I've gotten clean, there's something about fresh morning air... that just really makes me sick.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Boner patrol! Arrest that man! Your donuts make me go nuts!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "We got the van at a used car lot. We think it says 'Alleluia Church of Scranton' in Korean. It was either this or an old school bus with an owl living in it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "You didn't happen to bring any coffee, did you, Michael? - Milk and sugar. - Awesome. You're a life saver.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Wait, is this just milk and sugar? - That's what I said. Do you drink this every day? Every morning.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "We have 20... Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry, no. It's... It's a paper company now. It's not for the church.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Shame, Jim. I expected more.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Hey, boss. I'd just like to point out that I have been here less time than these guys. - Why are you telling me this?", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Charles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie. Is this something you really want to have said?", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Charles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "I don't want to have said that. But I think it's important that you know it.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Been there, done that.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "You know what we need? We need some couches. We should really consider getting a delivery guy. You know what you would love? It's if we built a loft.", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Why would I love that? - Can we afford a delivery guy? - Like in a dorm room. You put your desk underneath, you have your loft up top. You can sleep up top. - I know what a loft is. - Most dorm rooms don't even have that. - Most do in the magazines.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam", "Ryan", "Michael", "Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "I feel like I should be thanking you.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Maybe, and I don't know, if you had just returned Michael's call, none of us would've lost clients.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Come along, afterthought.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "A lame attempt at humor. Swing and a miss.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Why don't you explain what that is... So they can under... - Explain what that is. - Explain what you think that is. - Just explain.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan", "Michael", "Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Ty, I would like you to crunch those numbers again. - It's a program. There's no such... - Just crunch 'em, please. Crunch. Did it help?", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan", "Michael", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, you don't blame the child. He didn't know any better. You blame the 30-year-old woman who got in the passenger seat and said, 'Drive, kid. I trust you'.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Really? Does he do good work or... - No, Jim. I use a bad apiarist.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. - My new 'Dwight' ring. - I like it. Good, right? Idiot, we're starting back up.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam", "Jim", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Did I ever tell you about the day that Steve Martin died? - Steve Martin's not dead. - I know. But I always thought that the day that he died would be the worst day of my life. And I was wrong. It's this.", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam", "Ryan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "I applied to Old Navy, Target and Wal-Mart. None of 'em called me back. Not even for an interview.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "I never went to Thailand. Really? I went to Fort Lauderdale. Was it nice? Yeah, it was amazing. There was a great pad thai place, though. I love pad thai. You never had pad thai.", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam", "Ryan", "Pam", "Ryan", "Pam", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "We kidnap the queen, extract her alarm pheromones, place them on a flushable wipe, put that in his bathroom.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Oh, man! If only Michael had children. That's how you really apply the pressure. - What is wrong with you?", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Seriously? - Are you being serious? - He's bluffing. What you don't understand is that this company's worthl... We don't have...", "c": ["Michael", "Pam", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "We're not only tight-ends, we are also quarterbacks. - Missed the last part. - That's a pun. Got it.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "I'm really worried I'm gonna say it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "How the turntables...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Are you kidding me? That is insultingly low. I don't even want to hear what your first offer was. What do you hear?", "c": ["Michael", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Jerry, the one who got away.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "May I ask why you're leaving the Michael Scott Paper Company? Really?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "You don't crack a case. It has a pejorative connotation. Like calling a policeman a cop. You solve a case, and yes, I've solved plenty.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "One. Case of the beet bandit. Missing beets from all over the farm. No footprints. Inside job. Mose in socks. Case closed.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "You two are morons. Got it. Get out.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "How could you do this to me? You just cost me $60,000.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Wouldn't you rather have a fishing pole than a fish? I would rather have $60,000, honestly.", "c": ["Michael", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "I want my old job back. I want my old parking space back. I want a Sebring. They don't make them anymore.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "You know, David? I don't care if Ryan murdered his entire family. He is like a son to me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Our company is worth nothing. That's the difference between you and I. Business isn't about money to me, David. If tomorrow my company goes under, I will just start another paper company. And then another and another and another. I have no shortage of company names.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "That's one of 'em!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "Our balls are in your court.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "The day he is born. The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business. And the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Broke"}, {"t": "In our very limited free time and with our very limited budget, we went and got a nanny, and then we went out and took a class on a very outmoded and very unnecessary form of communication just so we can talk about you in front of you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "When I asked him to stop, he said, 'I will when you lose the baby weight.'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Very well. I must have imagined it. I apologize.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Detonator? Detonator. Where? Michael! Jim, are you clicking a detonator?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "It's a pen.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Emotionally, and sexually, and orally.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "She has a Pilates butt. But we need to find something to do this weekend beside have sex.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Did I say that? Yes, I did.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Because when your super-hot girlfriend says, 'I want to go to Mount Pocono,' you go to Mount Pocono, and you do her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "That seems quick, even for lesbians.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Ever since I found out that Donna might be cheating on me, I have not eaten or slept.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Oh, God, that tickles.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "My doctor told me to cut out hotdogs. We all got problems.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Man, I was mad as hell at the time. But I said, 'Darryl, just wait. He's a fool. There's going to be an opportunity. Just be patient.'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "It's never too early for ice cream, Jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, so this is mayonnaise and black olives.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "You have a major self-destructive streak in you. I know. And you... You kind of torpedo every romantic relationship you're in. That's not true. You're right. I ruin everything.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Holly, Carole, Jan. Helene. Helene? My mother. Oh! My mother, Helene.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "One thing you need to know about me, I don't quit until something tears or pops.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "To see you naked while I'm naked.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Who eats eight protein bars? People who don't trust egg whites.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "No, I like the attention.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "You work at an adult arcade. You could have any man you want.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Well, you are bonerific.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Poop my pants.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "\u266a Andy don't mess with me \u266a", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "The only thing I could make out clearly was, 'Andy, problem, eliminate.'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Heart-shaped jewelry is not something that a woman buys for herself, a man definitely bought it for her recently, and it wasn't Michael.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Darnell's a chump. I would've done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Yes, yes, I desperately want to speak with you about my sex life with Jim.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "I am, but I gave my clubs away. Swear too much.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Who the hell is this? Who is this guy? I don't know who it is. God! Lowest of the low, that guy. Just a notch above Toby.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "That's good for five bucks at Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Spice Girls are opening for Weird Al. Front row.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "How do you know? Pam told me. Did she see me?", "c": ["Michael", "Donna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "I'm the mistress?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "If they catch us, they will rape us. Go for the cliff. And three, two, one, jump! No! You're dead, you're dead, you're dead. Good jump. You're barely alive.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "The only logical way to find out if Donna is a cheater is to seduce her, bring her to orgasm, then call Michael and tell him the sad news.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "I do not want to prank anymore.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Casual Friday"}, {"t": "Oh, my god! I can't believe it! I just won an art contest. Aah!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "I got her! Ooohhh... not cool, dwight. Not cool, man.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Tiptoeing around corporate, it is a ballet. When I am breaking all the rules, I'm break dancing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Guys, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I think I'm growing into a giant, because look at this normal-size coffee cup. Looks so tiny in my giant hand now.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "I do. - Okay, how about a woman? Pam?", "c": ["Michael", "Andy", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "At dunder mifflin, there is a very strict No-Lunch-With-The-Boss policy. And I don't know who instituted it. I think it started right after my predecessor stepped down.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "I don't do lunch. I'm doing five small meals a day now. Now that I'm back to doing the job of a temp again, I find that food is one thing I can control.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "I am accounting on you to go to lunch with me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "We are office drones. We are office drones. All we do is work... is work... if you don't take out his battery, He just keeps going all day", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Oh, no, your battery fell out. I was just learning to love.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Erin, how many times do I have to tell you? It is not necessary for you to ask how we are doing every time you interact with us.", "c": ["Oscar", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "You're right. I'm sorry. Now, how can I help you?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "I will take your silence to mean that you're all hiding something.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "There's only a handful of reasons why someone would ever go to a courthouse in ohio, and not be charged with a crime. To claim an inheritance from a deceased relative. To obtain a learner's permit at age 14 1/2 instead of 15.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Erin, let me see your birth certificate.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "You know what I want to do today? I want to marry you. I had just woken up. I didn't look cute.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "That's how I knew he meant it.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "No work! No work! No work! I come in here to relieve frustration. Ooh, ahh, ahh, ooh!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Lock's broken, so...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Gotta keep yourself dehydrated - That's rule number one.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "When I was in charge, this place was like Dave & Buster's. People just hanging out, having fun, eatin' apps. I don't know, it's like... Dave died or something.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Daddy's here, and daddy's gonna take care of you. Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy. I am your big daddy...", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Widdle Andy is afwaid. Andy's afwaid? Yes. Are you all afwaid?", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "A place where unattractive and attractive people can get together to meet, to greet, to see the ones that you love, to love the ones that you see.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Why don't you get over lunch, Oscar? Everybody else is past it.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "This is like a haunted coffeehouse? No, Dwight is confusing you. It's more of a disco. A haunted disco!", "c": ["Creed", "Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "It is a daytime disco on the ground floor of an industrial office building. It's a cafe disco. So, like, a disco cafe. No, no. Not even close.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "This is a no-work zone. Please respect the lei.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Kevin, stay. Kevin, come. Kevin, stay. Kevin, come! Stay, stay. Come on, right now. Cookie, Kevin. Cookie.", "c": ["Michael", "Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "I wanted a cookie.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Now I know what the founders of Philip Morris felt like. You just want to give people a smooth, fun way to relax. And suddenly you're just some terrible monster.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Tell him I'm going dancing downstairs in the storage closet between the bathrooms that used to be a utility shower, and he should join me there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Oh, *** god! Oh, no, no, no. Oh, wow! What did you do?", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Who's Philip? No, no, no. Who tipped you over? Was it Philip?", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries, but more common than wrist injuries. I don't need a history lesson, okay? What do you think history is?", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "But most importantly, we need to get her some medical attention ASAP. Stat. Rrroar! Ramming speed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "If you want to get sick, you go to a hospital.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Okay, fine. Phyllis did injure herself. But she injured herself having fun. And I don't think she would trade that memory for anything.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Cafe disco. More like crapped disco.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.45, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "There's girls in there. Where? The other room. Down the hall. There's girls in there? What'd I just say? You get me my sandwich? Forget the sandwich. Girls. Girls!", "c": ["Kevin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "I guess they got what they want. I am eating alone. Might as well be dinner.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "This shirt wasn't doing you any favors.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Like children singing Christmas carols.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "My grandfather was told that Diamond Dancer would never race again. They were wrong. He came in ninth in the Apple Creek Derby. And his jerky came in third the following year. A majestic beast. So fast, so tender.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "I just don't like the general spirit of music.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "If these walls could talk, they would say, 'This is a magical place. You are safe here. We are talking walls. We're not going to eat you.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "This is oil from the gland of an otter. It keeps their fur water-resistant as well as traps heat.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Boss, this used to hang from my windshield, but it belongs in here. Hey, thank you, Creed. You really get this place. No problem. I'll just have no idea who's driving behind me now.", "c": ["Creed", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "I find the rattle soothing. Puts me to sleep.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "I think Bob's gonna cheat on me with his new secretary. What's so funny? When I say it out loud, it's so silly.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "You are forcing me to be down here. Am I not allowed to have some fun? No cleaning up.", "c": ["Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "You can't steal what is legally your property.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "What dance competition? I was just dancing casually with my friends, ya!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Are you sure that's not the gay ear? Are you 12 years old?", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Ow, son of a bitch! Andy, that was just the ice.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "Cafe Disco"}, {"t": "Sure, I'll give him the message when he gets up... Gets back.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Michael ate an entire family-sized chicken pot pie for lunch, and then he fell asleep.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I don't condone leaving early. But I have an appointment with the horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, I don't know.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Like clockwork.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Geography joke.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "See you all tamale.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Should I have left the car running?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "You don't grab these for balance.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "You think the EPA would ever allow that much deet?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I heard him asking for a shoe that could increase his speed and not leave any tracks.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "The combinations are endless.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "You can go to hell. I'm kidding! Sure, I will get you the best iced tea in the world.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "You and I are soup snakes. That doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Must be nice to get a rest from all your rest.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I shouldn't have to ask you to do that. You should just do it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Well, I could have died, so...", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "You want her to set you up so you can spike it. I'm gonna put you next to Phyllis. She's the best setter on the team.", "c": ["Andy", "Ryan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "For us.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I'm designing a chair. It's part of your pants. You sit down, you're supported.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "All right, fatty. I will do it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "You bet your fat ass we are.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Have ya hoyd the news? Extry, extry! Read all about it! Newspapers for sale!", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Sir... with the glasses, are you literally blind?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "These are expensive Ray-Bans, jackass.", "c": ["Buffalo employee"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Are... you... blind? Can you see things with your eyeballs?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I am better than this.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Do you know if you're right or left-handed? Do you even know? What hand do you use to answer the phone?", "c": ["Opposing player"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Maybe I played a little in junior high. And in high school. Maybe a little in college. And went to volleyball camp most summers.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Had to be part of the group.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Crystal cool.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Don't set it to yourself.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "You weren't even moving.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I don't hear cheaters, tramps, or women who break my friend's heart.", "c": ["Rolph"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "We have to convince Dunder and Mifflin to go back in time fix their parents.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Dun-der, Dun-der, Dunder, Dunder, Dunder...", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "They're gonna wipe their asses with your serves! Piss all over your faces!", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Are you ready to play Slumdunder Mifflinaire?", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I was there! I was a tour guide at Dartmouth College!", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Robert Mifflin had undiagnosed depression, which 9 million americans suffer from, and is very treatable.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "$250... is more money than I've ever seen in my life.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I usually don't enjoy the theater. But this is delightful.", "c": ["David Wallace"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "For $500,000, is it, A) Scranton?", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "David Wallace told me!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "You've gotta be kidding me! We're the best branch in the company!", "c": ["Buffalo employees"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "A little boy said me, 'Is my daddy gonna have a job by Christmas?' He's just thinking about his own gifts.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Corporate deserves to get its ass kicked.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "What does one fiance plus one lover equal? Answer, one whore.", "c": ["Rolph"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "We can let you play with that foot.", "c": ["Corporate player"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I'm so mad that Pam got hurt!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "No, it was a tough audience.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Good, because my next question was do you have a game to get back to?", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "You guys should hit the road before... I close down another branch.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "I didn't find the perfect moment, because I think that today was about just having today.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "And then it's perfect. I'm in no rush.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "How many people need to get hurt before we learn a valuable lesson? One? Two? Three? Four? Five? Six? Seven? Eight?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Send in the subs.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 5, "e": 26, "et": "Company Picnic"}, {"t": "Parkour! - Michael-- - Parkour! Parkour! - Extreme! Parkour! - Parkour!", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "So technically they are doing parkour As long as point 'a' is delusn and point 'b' is the hospital.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Truck to refrigerators to dumpster, 360 spin onto the pallets, backflip gainer Into the trash can.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Parkour.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Go put them all in random order. Then come back here For your next assignment concerning their order.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "He didn't do anything sexual. He just made far, far too many monica lewinsky jokes.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "If they get married before i do, i'm gonna kill myself.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "This place is like spaniard fly.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Wait, there's not gonna be a shotgun? - Nope. - No shotgun? 'cause that changes everything.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Free at last. Free at last.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "I guess i have a face you can trust. I think it's because of my low cheekbones.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "I should have known. Poopball?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "She said the third wheel is what makes it a tricycle.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Stanley was with his wife. I waved at him but he didn't wave back.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Stanley is way past the middle of his life, Especially considering his height to weight ratio.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "If that was his sister, then what they were doing was totally illegal.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "It is wonderful to be the center of attention.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Hey, stanley, where you going, big guy? Up to no good?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Pays $5 million. Nudity required.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Time to stop being polite and get real.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Racial profiling gossip.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "We used to go on these long walks on the treadmill.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "You can't put words back in your mouth. What you can do is spread false gossip", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "It's like the end of spartacus. I have seen that movie half a dozen times And i still don't know who the real spartacus is.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 9.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "She's an 'anorexitec.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Do you like it as much as you like men's butts? 'Cause you're gay.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "This is not the first time rumors about me being gay have come up. Twice before, actually. Just a weird coincidence.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "But if he was persistent, i might give in a little bit To just really see what it felt like.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "What exactly is my responsibility here? To comfort insecure heterosexual men? That can't possibly fall to me.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "And you're gonna regret that when you find yourself between a moose and her cubs at night.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "One of you will make a great mother.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "You know, a baby conceived out of wedlock is still a bastard.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "If i can't scuba, then what's this all been about? What am i working toward?", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 9.2, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "You think i'm the voice of the taco bell dog?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "You told people that i use store-Bought manure When i showed you where my manure comes from.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "I spread the rumor that somebody here was a j. Crew model and i was referring to myself.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Because a lot of people think that models, Even though they're very attractive are somewhat vapid. It set our industry back quite a bit.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. At first i thought, oh, she has a new bra with padding. But then i thought, pam doesn't need padding.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "That is the inside of your vagina.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "We should have realized that you are an equal part of this.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "Hey, what up, cynthia?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "I thought it was 500. Oh. I guess i didn't learn anything.", "c": ["Intern"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "I learned that if you look even the tiniest bit like jet li, Michael will call you jet li all summer.", "c": ["Intern"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Gossip"}, {"t": "It is a colonoscopy.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "In your experience, what should I be expecting in terms of sensation... or emotions?", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Chaudry?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "My main concern is should I have a safe word?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Oscar's stunned silence and obvious discomfort", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "I have so much work, I'm gonna blow my brains out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Because we are the Three Amigos. And once in a while, one of the amigos will go off to the bathroom while the other two have a secret meeting.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "If you're lying to me right now, your baby is gonna come out a liar. That's how it works. They inherit things through the breast milk.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Please don't talk about my breast milk.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Really? I'm sorry. I thought this was a free country. I didn't know we were in communist Sweden.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "If we were, I wouldn't have to worry, 'cause we'd have universal health care.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "From who, Dr. J?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Y'all having birthday cake? - That's not a very good Darryl.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "I'll punch you into mush, see?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Yes, I do. No, I don't. Yes, I do. No, I don't. Catch you on the flippity-flop.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Had to come in on a Saturday... to retrieve... I left my cell phone here.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "So jealous of your boobs.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Which is why we're having it in Niagara Falls.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "That came out wrong.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "I'm in this weird, flirty, nebulous thing with this cousin of mine. And it's a total mind f'er.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Hey, Andy, let's go visit grandma and then get drunk together.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "You know when they say it's so crazy it just might work? I don't believe that. I say go for the airtight plan.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "It is just... elegant.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "From the Wisconsin region, a nice, firm cheddar. Also from the great city of Wisconsin, an aged parmesan.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "It's a lot of fun to let the goldfish take a little swim in the blue cheese.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "That's a GE. The P40 is much higher pitched.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "I'm rebuilding a turn-of-the-century steam engine in my slaughterhouse.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "It's just a slaughterhouse, but, sure, any time.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Get the camera. Start taping. Drive! Worker's comp my ass!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "You gonna eat all that dog food yourself?", "c": ["Darryl's sister"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "I once had a glass of cognac that cost $77, so...", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Jim is like... Big Bird. He is tall and yellow and very nice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Big Bird doesn't make the tough decisions. If I was going to put someone in charge, I would put Bert in charge. Or I would put one of the real grown-ups, like Maria. Or Gordon, maybe.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Constant office distraction. Spends way too much time at reception. Antagonizes other salesmen. Not at all what he thinks he is.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "I'd have to talk to my mother and my guy at H&R block.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Example: he handed out jell-o shots at the 23rd mile of the Steamtown Marathon.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Did you know that Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "I should have known that he can do just as much damage in the dark.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Why would you think a lady is me?", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Because you look exactly alike.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Toby Flenderson is doing drugs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "I'm getting pulled over for talking on my cell. Damn it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Then why is there new wood only on one railing?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "I'm telling them you sexually harassed my sister.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "No judges gonna believe that.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "It would make me feel really good if you would punch me in the face.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "Co-manager of what? - Of your butt! And your butt, and your butt... All of Scranton branch butts.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "I'll just have whatever's fanciest, unless there's ribs, I'll get the other information the day of. I'll text you.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "You're going to text me the morning of my wedding to ask for directions?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Meeting"}, {"t": "No way, no how. Expense reports are a day-to-day item. That is Jim's now. I am exclusively big picture. Epic.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Where's the please? We're not animals.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I have a complaint about Jim. That is not big picture. I would like to file a huge, enormous, massive complaint about the tallest guy in our office.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I'd like to lodge a complaint. I'm sorry to hear about that. Who is this about? You.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I'm just going to write, 'Held back tears.' Wait, stop writing that. That is not true. If you stop crying, I'll stop writing it. I'm not...", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Oh, man, makes me want to put him in a triangle choke hold and force him down to the ground and just keep pressing and pressing, and then flip him over and then put him in a hammerlock and he's gasping. He's panting for every last breath. And the crowd is going crazy and boom, I emerge victorious! Eighteen thousand dollars and a chance at the title!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Dwight, Jim wants you to keep it down.", "c": ["Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Can I also be a boss?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that set sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Jimothy. To be fair, Jimothy... That sounds weird. Are you okay with being called Jim? I am.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "At first, we were talking about introducing a line of toilet paper. And what part of the human body does one use toilet paper upon? So you draw a line from there to the other planets, and I think by the end, we all learned a little bit about how small we are.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "You know what eats a large amount of the day are naps. You go to sleep, it's light out, you wake up, it's dark. That's the whole day. Where did that day go? I have no idea.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Really? You just agree to that? I can be very surprising.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I need to fit into my wedding dress. However, I'm also pregnant.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "You know, it's a myth that women have to gain more than nine pounds in a pregnancy. Look at these actresses. Some of them lose weight.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Why doesn't Crate and Barrel let you register for a toaster full of cash?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "My cousin makes the most amazing romantic birdhouse mailboxes. I know I shouldn't tell you, but you'll still be surprised when you see it. You're not registered for a birdhouse, are you? No, we're not. Good. Good.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "If you don't smell this, you're fired.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, everybody, I think that Jim has gone insane because he thinks that my office is a conference room.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Anything that Jim has to say to me, he can say in front of these types of people.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I love rivalries. Michael or Jim, Paris or Nicole, Heidi or L.C., it's so much fun. But I guess if I'm really thinking about it, and answering your question honestly, I'd have to go with L.C. Heidi's a bad friend and her skin is terrible.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "It is one thing me giving you the co-manager title, it is another thing you bossing me around.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "This is Michael, senior co-manager.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Wait, I'm sorry. Michael, are you texting me?", "c": ["David Wallace", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Okay, you didn't let me say goodbye.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "When I am irritated and I look at you, I don't see you anymore. Right. All I can see is how big and gross the pores on your nose are.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Hey, why haven't we ever... We have.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Do you mean, like, break in, in the middle of the night and change the numbers on payroll? No, we can do it during the day. It doesn't have to be that dramatic, Jim.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "You use your brain too much. I'm sorry, are you advocating that I use it less? Sometimes the smartest people don't think at all. You just came up with that. As I was saying it. Yeah.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Con, you look like a nerd. Pro, you get to share your pros and cons list with the other nerds. Con, you unzip your pants and you'll find that there's a calculator down there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I've been studying Michael for years and I've condensed what I've learned into this chart. How Michael spends his time. As you can see, we have procrastinating and distracting others. And this tiny sliver here is critical thinking. I made it bigger so that you could see it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I don't think we registered anywhere. We just want cash. Like money? Like, you want my money? Mmm-hmm.", "c": ["Pam", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "In the memo line, I'm going to write, 'To love's eternal glory.'", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Is this what I've become? Materialistic? Shallow? I feel horrible. Oh, look! 'Mrs. Pam Halpert!' That's the first time I've seen it in writing.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, are you going to make another pro and con list? I'm going to kill myself.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I can see it in your crusty little eyes that you are going to make everything perfect. 'If I could just think this through, if I could just think it exactly right, I can make this perfect. And then I can go down every avenue, and every avenue off of that avenue. And then another avenue...' And then another.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I think that you are able to take constructive criticism very well. Ha! That, I am not known for that.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Okay. Here's a tough decision for you, you suck. You suck. Is that clear enough for you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Okay, Skippy, here we go. Why don't you run yourself out there and tell them? You call it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "This had better be terrible.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "But I do not understand. If we're such smart adults, then why don't we get raises?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Excellent question, genius. It's because Jim wants to give the raises to his friends and the people he sleeps with.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "How is that going to repair Ryan's car?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "My kid needs shoes. You want to tell him he doesn't get shoes? Yeah.", "c": ["Meredith", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "They all have heart-ons for you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "My plan, a man, Panama. That's not how that goes.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "All right, everyone wants a raise, so what we're going to do is go into here and we will not come out until we do.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Ryan is obviously the best. Obviously. Too bad he's a temp and doesn't count, so let's get started.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Each Boston baked bean represents half-a-percent raise. We each got 24 beans, so the idea is, you place the bean on the picture of who you think deserves...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Who's that? Toby. Okay, he's not a part of this, you know that. Just wanted to draw a picture of him.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I will skip a turn. Okay, you're going to still have to play that bean, you know that. I need more time.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "If the people here were our Founding Fathers, the Revolutionary War would have been delayed 10 years because Stanley Washington was napping. And Phyllis Hancock was still signing the Declaration, and Kevin Jefferson was distracted by a butterfly.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Not according to the beans.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Is he as matronly as Phyllis?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Let us storm his castle. Come on, tick, let's get him, tock. Let's get Jim. Tick, and drag Jim out of his office, tock, take his keys away from him, tick, that's a clock.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "No, I mean, what do you say to my plan?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "What does a bean mean?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "I used to have to do this part alone. And it was the worst.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "What's in here? Gin.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Question for you, would you guys rather have $100 now or $5,000 a year from now? $100 now, for sure. Because you just give me $50 to cover the broker fee, I put in $100 of my own money, as the gift.", "c": ["Creed", "Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "How sure is this? The guy has an algorithm to determine the winner of any given college basketball game.", "c": ["Jim", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "The Promotion"}, {"t": "Pam is constantly throwing up because of the pregnancy. If she eats something the fetus doesn't like, she is screwed.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "It's amazing, a three-ounce fetus is calling the shots. It's so badass.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Oh, gee. I'm sorry. I guess I missed the meeting where we all voted for you to get pregnant.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "All morning I look forward to my afternoon cigars. And I am not stopping for anybody.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Watching people get sick always makes me sick. And, frankly, so does talking about it. So, wow.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Well, what do you think? I spent all morning doing it. It is really special. Yeah, but aren't you supposed to do that to our... No. It's great.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Believe it or not, Kevin, firecrackers are in the 'Don't' column.", "c": ["Jim", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Well, you're lucky to have a grandmother. Some of us have to be our own grandmother.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "What happens in Niagara stays in Niagara.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Don't, don't, don't. You stole my joke. Don't steal my joke. No, I didn't steal your joke. Yes, I said that yesterday.", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "So I will see you up there in Viagra Falls.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Pam and Jim's wedding will be the single best pickup destination in the history of the universe.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "For instance, Pam's cousin, Jocelyn Webster. There's a name. Two years ago, she was selling a mountain bike.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Is that all you have on her? Well, if this is in fact her, because it's a very common name. Okay, you're an idiot.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "I thought, 'How can I take it to the next level?' The hair. It's the hair.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "We feel like we're in a limo and you're our driver.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Not only is Erin really sweet and cute, she smells like my mom.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Click. You blinked. Damn it, now that's in my brain forever. Lousy picture! We should have hired a professional to take the mental pictures.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Hello. My name is Dwight Schrute. If you are listening to this, you are a lucky woman Michael has seduced.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Hey, I got the room the night before you guys. I'll break in the bed.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "I'm afraid we're all sold out. Dwight Schrute. I have a reservation. Confirmation number, Romeo-Tango-G-seven-seven-four-five.", "c": ["Hotel clerk", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "If I have a woman up there and things are getting amorous, she's going to get turned off if she looks in the bathroom and she sees you brushing your teeth with butter and clay, okay?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "When Mary was denied a room at the inn, Jesus was born. When Michael was denied a room at the inn, we don't know what happens because that story hasn't been told yet.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "A queen-sized bed is five feet wide. I am not five feet wide, Michael. I'm not a physics major, Stanley. I'm just saying, be careful.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "She's the only 80-year-old with no smile wrinkles.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "I wasn't sure about your branch of the family after I heard about your parents' divorce. But you and Jim are just perfect.", "c": ["Meemaw"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Well, I wouldn't care to live if I thought that.", "c": ["Meemaw"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "The bad man was busy kissing the boss man's butt. Ew! That's right. It is ew. It's very ew.", "c": ["Dwight", "Child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "She thought I was your boyfriend. You thought I was dating this? What the hell is wrong with you?", "c": ["Oscar", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "In 1996, her 10th grade volleyball team went ten and two. What am I supposed to do with that, Dwight? That's a very good record.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Hey, what is the deal with the Smart car? How smart is that? Those things are tiny.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.43, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "The real smart car is KITT, from Knight Rider. That's a car that can talk. Can Smart car talk? Nope. That's not smart.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Especially the Florida cousins, who obviously can't take a hint.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Pam, I can now admit in front of friends and family that I do know how to make a photocopy. Didn't need your help that many times.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "I've been driving stick since high school.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "What's obvious? Why can't Pam drink? Pam can't drink?", "c": ["Wedding guests"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "She shouldn't because she's an alcoholic. Pam is an alcoholic.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Hey, what I think Jim is trying to say is that they had an accident.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "And you know what? You can't expect them to be careful every time, because, frankly, it's just a different sensation.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "The hotel's television set had a movie on called Br\u00fcno last night. The remote control had so darn many buttons on it, I couldn't turn it off. So, I had to just sit there while it happened to me.", "c": ["Meemaw"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Oh! You're that foul man that kept talking about intercourse.", "c": ["Meemaw"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "In fact, for the longest time my best friend was my grandmother. And then she met Harriet, and now she thinks she's better than everybody.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "And I know, in your day, she would be considered a whore. But now, women go out and they have sex, and they get wild, and they take their tops off.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "They're going to name the baby after you, you know. They're going to call it Meemaw. You mean Sylvia. Yes. And if it's a boy they will call it Silvio.", "c": ["Michael", "Meemaw"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "No one from the office has been to a real Bernard throw-down. If I was a girl, I would seriously reconsider coming to this party. But don't tell them that I said that because I want them there.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Looks like you're going to a fish fry, Dwight. No, they're howling at the moon. It's suggestive to women because of howling during sex.", "c": ["Oscar", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Yeah, but that's easy enough for you to say, Oscar. You have that thick, beautiful Chicano hair. So nice.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Nine and three-quarters. I invented a device called 'burger on the go.' It allows you to obtain six regular-sized hamburgers or twelve sliders from a horse without killing the animal.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Sears said no.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "I bawl the entire time. I cannot watch Pixar.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "I found twins. Oh, my God. Twins. Aren't they magnificent? They're men, Dwight.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Did someone change my name to Baskin Robbins? Because I feel like a banana split.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "I was dancing and I did a split and I landed on my car keys in my pocket. I tore my scrotum.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "That's Michael. You're out with Michael? And Dwight. Hey-oh!", "c": ["Jim", "Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "She'll be sitting at home saying, 'Jim, take the baby to the zoo, because I want to sit at home and eat bonbons and clip my toenails.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Now you sound like Kermit.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Well, every little bump in the road is major pain on my scrotum.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "I spent the night with the bride, the night before the wedding. Oh, yeah. She stepped on my hand on her way to the bathroom.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Mr. Malone, your shoes are gone. They were stolen? No, destroyed. When the bag was opened by our shoe-shine, the smell overcame him.", "c": ["Hotel manager", "Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Incinerated, actually.", "c": ["Hotel manager"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Too busy knocking boots.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "She made love like a tiger.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Look, she's a dental hygienist from Carbondale, and she makes love like one. She's a bumpkin. Pass.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "That's funny. Your wife loved this hat the last time she saw it.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Make it softer.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "And I have another one of them in the nude. But that one is for me.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Everybody see Kristy's stupid blonde extensions? It's like they were made from a plastic broom.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Mom, you're totally projecting and being a drag.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "There. Now we're even.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "I think Pam ran away because she knew deep down she wouldn't be a good wife.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Apricot. Made of real apes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Those two treat the whole office like a 1970s key party.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "Thinking about having my sperm frozen.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "I got six numbers. One more would have been a complete telephone number.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "My Kleenex shoes were a huge conversation piece. But, man, my dogs are barking.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Niagara"}, {"t": "The fundamentals of business. Mental is a part of the word. I have underlined it. Because you're mental if you don't have a good time.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Small things... Peas, ball bearings, dimes.", "c": ["Unknown employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "I caught my son taking a dump on the upper part of the toilet. He calls it an upper-decker.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "What you people don't know about business I could fill a book with. - Then do it. - What? Write a book.", "c": ["Michael", "Unknown employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "The fundamentals of business by Michael Scott. Over 1 billion sold. More than the Bible. I'm not surprised.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Your schedule just says nine till noon is creative space. - Do you know how creative space works?", "c": ["Erin", "Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "You don't have anything in the afternoon. It just says, 'free play.' - Push 'free play' till tomorrow morning.", "c": ["Erin", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "You're seeing how the sausage gets made. Come in the conference room, and I will show you a finished sausage.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Jim's gone on his honeymoon. So I started borrowing his office to fart in. Then one day, I came in, and I just stayed. 'cause this place is awesome.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Even better than my home. My home sucks.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Think you're right. Definitely looks suspicious. And his southern italian heritage raises some flags.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Guys, I drive an SUV. Does that mean I'm in the mob? - No, not that by itself. But look at all the facts.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "All Mobsters have a front. Sometimes it's selling insurance. Sometimes, it's waste management or sanitation.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Buy my insurance, or I burn your warehouse down. - He did talk about a fire in the warehouse. And he also vaguely threatened me with testicular cancer.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon, so there's not the usual balance between sane and others. Toby has mentally checked out since June. The coalition for reason is extremely weak.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "John Gotti, you idiot. It's a completely different name. - So he won't get caught. - It's pretty close. What mobster would change his name from Gotti to Grotti? It weakens it.", "c": ["Ryan", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder, not 'mukduk.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Too many different words coming at me from too many different sentences.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Unless someone very close to us is in immediate physical danger, you should not be calling us. - You're right. Sorry.", "c": ["Jim", "Oscar"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Not only that, but if they find out you snitched, you get a dead horse's chopped-off head in your bed. - That's not gonna happen. - That's an exaggeration.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy", "Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Criminals are like raccoons. You give them a taste of cat food, pretty soon, they'll back for the whole cat.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "If I'm gonna back you up, I need a weapon without drawing suspicion. And I have to justify it somehow, so I'm a mechanic with a tire thing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Do you know how to use it? - To change tires? No. But... it's metal. I could hit somebody.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "The bathroom checks out clean. Nothing behind the toilet except this roach motel.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "You want to separate the head from the thorax. - Cool it.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "383 Linden Ave., Scranton, PA. - And May I have the last four digits of your social security? - 6650.", "c": ["Jim", "Identity thief (Creed)"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "I think that we should let the criminal use the card a little longer. - Very funny, sir.", "c": ["Jim", "Identity thief (Creed)"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "I'll have linguini, red sauce on the side. If the sauce does not come on the side, I will send it back. I want garlic bread, toasted, not burnt. If it comes burnt, I will send it back.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "I will have the gabba-gool. - The what? - The gabba-gool. - I don't really know what that is.", "c": ["Michael", "Waitress"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Bring him the gabba-gool! - I will have the spaghetti.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "With a side salad. If the salad is on top, I send it back.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Why would you cancel Jim's credit cards? - I usually can think quick on my feet. But they were so fast on the phone.", "c": ["Oscar", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "You would love jail. - Why would I love jail? - Because... You would love it.", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Sorry to bother you. Are you a mechanic? My battery's dead. I've got my kid. Can you please help? - Yes, I can.", "c": ["Woman", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Black goes on the red with the... If we... Positive... It being a motor drive, it's just probably... down.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "You got a leaky spark tube. So your car's totaled. You're just gonna want to get a refund on that.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "I work exclusively on motorcycles.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "I had this car, 'cause... This Italian car. And I was driving it, and it kept telling me how much it needed oil. But I wouldn't give it any oil. And then, one day, it exploded. And it killed everyone.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Aren't you a mechanic? Why wouldn't you put oil in the car? - It was before my technical training.", "c": ["Grotti", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "You were man enough to back down, michael. I'm proud of you. - I had to make a snap decision. - It wasn't a snap. You were sitting there for an hour.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "How did you get this number? - We're on a catamaran. - It wasn't easy. I had to tell the hotel that it was a medical emergency. I chose massive coronary, 'cause you told me that your dad... had a bad heart.", "c": ["Jim", "Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Accounting-wise, no. But phone-wise, just call up and cancel it.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Are you saying... that we surgically remove the fear center from Michael's brain?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "I have a buddy who's a fed, and we did a background check on the guy. - I have friends still on the force. Checked with them. - Ran his fed friend up the flagpole to make sure he wasn't on the take.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "If there is one thing I hate more than the mafia, it is a liar. I wish the mafia would go out and kill all the liars. And bury them in my yard.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "So I looked him in the eye, and I said, 'Not today, Grotti. Not today. And not tomorrow. And not the next day or the day after that. And you can tell all your friends that if I see them, then they are already dead.' I said something like that. Very close.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Coffee. Not from the kitchen. Stop and shop. If it's not stop and shop, I send it back. Large. If it's a medium, I send it back. If it's an extra-large, I send it back.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "Listen, Our credit card has been canceled, and we have to deal with that, and I really can't handle the fact that you're calling us here! - That sounds good. I'll let you go.", "c": ["Pam", "Kevin"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Niagara (2)"}, {"t": "The fundamentals of business. Mental is a part of the word. I have underlined it. Because you're mental if you don't have a good time.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Small things... Peas, ball bearings, dimes.", "c": ["Unknown employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "I caught my son taking a dump on the upper part of the toilet. He calls it an upper-decker.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Over 1 billion sold. More than the Bible. I'm not surprised.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Your schedule just says nine till noon is creative space. You don't have anything in the afternoon. It just says, 'free play.'", "c": ["Erin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "There is nothing more insulting to a great salesman than having to listen to a bad salesman. It's like a great basketball player having to listen to a bad basketball player.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Jim's gone on his honeymoon. So I started borrowing his office to fart in. Then one day, I came in, and I just stayed.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "My home sucks.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "More trunk space. Or should I say corpse space?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Guys, I drive an SUV. Does that mean I'm in the mob? No, not that by itself.", "c": ["Unknown employee", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "He did talk about a fire in the warehouse. And he also vaguely threatened me with testicular cancer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "The coalition for reason is extremely weak.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "John Gotti, you idiot. It's a completely different name. What mobster would change his name from Gotti to Grotti? It weakens it.", "c": ["Ryan", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder, not 'mukduk.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Too many different words coming at me from too many different sentences.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Unless someone very close to us is in immediate physical danger, you should not be calling us.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Not only that, but if they find out you snitched, you get a dead horse's chopped-off head in your bed.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Criminals are like raccoons. You give them a taste of cat food, pretty soon, they'll back for the whole cat.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "If I'm gonna back you up, I need a weapon without drawing suspicion. And I have to justify it somehow, so I'm a mechanic with a tire thing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Do you know how to use it? To change tires? No. But... it's metal. I could hit somebody.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "The bathroom checks out clean. Nothing behind the toilet except this roach motel.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "I'm calling from The identity theft department at Capital One. We've detected some unusual activity on your credit card.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "I think that we should let the criminal use the card a little longer.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "I will have the gabba-gool. The gabba-gool. You know, gabba-gool.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "If the salad is on top, I send it back.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "You would love jail. Why would I love jail? Because... You would love it.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.0, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "My battery's dead. I've got my kid. Can you please help? Yes, I can.", "c": ["Woman", "Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Black goes on the red with the... If we... Positive... It being a motor drive, it's just probably... down.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "You got a leaky spark tube. So your car's totaled. You're just gonna want to get a refund on that.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "I work exclusively on motorcycles.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "I had this car, 'cause... This Italian car. And I was driving it, and it kept telling me how much it needed oil. But I wouldn't give it any oil. And then, one day, it exploded. And it killed everyone.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Aren't you a mechanic? Why wouldn't you put oil in the car? It was before my technical training.", "c": ["Grotti", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "You were man enough to back down, michael. I'm proud of you.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "I had to tell the hotel that it was a medical emergency. I chose massive coronary, 'cause you told me that your dad... had a bad heart.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "And you'll be saved. Please, repeat what you're saying. I can't understand you! And you'll be saved.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Accounting-wise, no. But phone-wise, just call up and cancel it.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Are you saying that we surgically remove the fear center from Michael's brain?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Ran his fed friend up the flagpole to make sure he wasn't on the take. Turns out he's a totally lovely guy. Sweetest guy on the force, really. Class act. Boy scout.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "I wish the mafia would go out and kill all the liars. And bury them in my yard. And I wouldn't tell the cops a thing. Not that I would be lying, per se. But I would just get really quiet all of a sudden.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "You suck! And I won't buy your stupid insurance.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "We just told you he wasn't mafia so you wouldn't be scared. You successfully backed down the mob. You made the mafia apologize to you. You made the mafia be polite.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "So I looked him in the eye, and I said, 'Not today, Grotti. Not today. And not tomorrow. And not the next day or the day after that. And you can tell all your friends that if I see them, then they are already dead.' I said something like that. Very close.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Coffee. Not from the kitchen. Stop and shop. If it's not stop and shop, I send it back. Large. If it's a medium, I send it back. If it's an extra-large, I send it back.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "Our credit card has been canceled, and we have to deal with that, and I really can't handle the fact hat you're calling us here!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "I will make that my top priority.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "The Lover"}, {"t": "We met this other couple at the resort, Frank and Benny. We hung out with them a lot. Frank and Beans. Always makes her laugh.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Is there someone there? Who's there? I hear voices. Is somebody there? Yeah! Is someone here? I can't see you because I'm blind.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I fell into the pool of acid, eyes-first.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Blind Guy McSqueezy. How do I describe it? It is a character I've been workshopping, whose lack of vision gets him into all sorts of trouble.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "The women in my improv class absolutely hate him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Oh, because you spent so much on the wedding.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "This conversation has two items on the agenda. Did we have a conversation scheduled?", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I inserted a listening device into the belly of the mallard. Now I can observe Jim, track Jim, and destroy Jim.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Just like in the Bavarian fairytale. Only this time the mallard skins the toad alive.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "And, of course, in this version, you lose the whole veiled critique of the Kaiser thing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I have recently taken a lover. Well, that's great. Congratulations. Who's the lucky lady? Pam's mom.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "She drives a green Camry, And the seats go all the way down. All the way down.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Hey, Jim... Not now, Toby. My God! Jesus. Get the hell out of here, idiot!", "c": ["Toby", "Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I think you're underestimating Pam. I think more than anything, she wants me to be happy. No. Not more than anything.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Don't call her 'the mom.' She's right on my way home from work. Then take a different way home, man!", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "All right, I'll take surface streets.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Can you change my dinner reservations from four people to two? Sure. Is it okay if I put out some candy that Pam brought back from Puerto Rico? Sure. Thanks for asking.", "c": ["Michael", "Erin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Frank and Beans!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Oh, wow. That is amazing. I feel like a real Puerto Rican.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I don't know. I think Michael has a date. No. Yeah, I think you have a date. I don't, I don't. Come on.", "c": ["Erin", "Michael", "others"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I was probably going to break up with her anyway.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Part of the problem is she's the mother of a close friend of mine. Oh. More than a friend. A coworker. Oh, gossip. Who is it?", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Who is it, Michael? Who? It's okay. No, no, no, no, no. No. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No!", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "That could have gone one of two ways, but I never expected her to get upset.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "There's an egg on your head And the yolk is running down. The yolk is running down. Feels good. There's a knife in your back And the blood is gushing down. The blood is gushing down.", "c": ["Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Sleeping with Pam's mom. Sometimes dinner.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "You know, I really would have appreciated a heads-up that you were into dating mothers. I would have introduced you to mine.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "No, I am not being dramatic, you are being crazy!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "This aria is a joke. Really? What are you thinking? I was going to go with this one. Let me tell you something, if you respect him at all, you will get him something better.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter, and they need a lot of help down there. Last Sunday, I had to put down over 150 pets all by myself.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I have a way to make Scranton a better place. You could leave it.", "c": ["Stanley", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Let's start by conserving our time and stop having these stupid meetings. No more meetings! No more meetings!", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Hey, boo. Why are you crying? Yeah, I'll let you know how it goes. All right. Bye, pickle.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Who's pickle? Who's pickle? Pamela Morgan Beesly.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover? Don't call my mother your lover.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I'm caring, I'm generous. I'm sensual.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Sleep with my mom, just sleep with everybody's mom. No, no, no, no, no... Whoa! That's my mom you're talking about.", "c": ["Pam", "Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I am your boss and I may someday be your father, so get out. You are never going to be my father. You get out.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I hope that you are willing to die in this office, because I am. Me, too.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "My mother's in a wheelchair. Well, he could still... I'm sorry about that.", "c": ["Oscar", "Kevin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Do you think that I should get a fedora? I don't think so, no. Why? I think I'd look really hot in one.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "What the hell is a mallard? That! Oh, Professor Damon D. Duck. Jim gave him to me.", "c": ["Kelly", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "If you take it back, I'll scream.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "You're so cool. This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "or you can sit on the shredder.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "That's why they pay me the big bucks.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "You know, I always knew if Michael just took the time to get to know me, we'd become friends.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "What's the matter? Can't fight your own battles? Maybe you should just take the rest of the day off, you know?", "c": ["Pam", "Toby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, okay, you're a jackass.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "You're just as stubborn as your mother. When you don't want to do something, you just don't do it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Michael, you're just her rebound!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Frank and Beans.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Well, that is not going to happen. Then why did you even offer?", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "You know what? I'm going to start dating her even harder. What's that supposed to mean?", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "What's-her-face from Quiznos. I see her four times a week.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I put it in your office in order to surveil you. I was jealous that you got the promotion over me.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Okay, just to be clear, you're terrible at this. And you're not equipped for espionage.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Oh! Where did you get that hat? I'd rather not say.", "c": ["Pam", "Ryan"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Of course I wanted Jim to find the mallard. Make him feel safe. Did you really think I would put my primary listening device in a wooden mallard? I'm not insane.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Oh, why, is there a place closer that sells them?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "You owe me one. You all owe me one.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "No. I had a fish stick sandwich. Actually, I had two fish stick sandwiches. My girlfriend didn't want hers, because I guess I'm the only aphrodisiac she needs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Fish sticks are not an aphrodisiac. You're thinking of deer penis.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor, which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Jeez... When did everyone get so cynical?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Oh, that's right, you're a woman, and you need to refuse food the first time. I'll try again. Please, Pam, reconsider and have a bagel.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Michael's been trying to get Jim and me to hang out ever since he started dating my mom. I don't know, I really hoped this thing would just die out. But today he's planning a birthday lunch for my mom, and we have to go. No way out.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I've always found beauty in uncommon places. Homeless people. Graffiti photography lets me capture all that.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "There's no better medicine than birthday lunch. It'll cure all of your, 'gee, I don't know if Michael should be dating my mother,' and fixes all occurrences of, 'I don't really see them together.' So open wide, Pam, and take a big ol' spoonful of birthday lunch medicine. Take with food.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Yeah, the rest of the story has been censored due to inappropriosity. Because of sex? Kevin! Hey, please, Kevin... You're fired. Sorry. Work with a bunch of idiots.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Pam fakes a shipping emergency to avoid lunch, Jim helps cover, and they share a knowing look", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Why did I get in the car? I could have struggled. I have a whistle in my purse. I didn't even blow it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "So a little elbow grease, and she's polished right up, back to her former glory. Feel it against your cheek.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "You give me a gift--Thank you note. You invite me somewhere--RSVP. You do me a favor--Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Here's a healthy fitness tip. If you clench your buttocks together while walking, you can really take the pressure off your knees. Is that right? Observe. Right? That really works.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Do not walk around with your jacket cattywampus.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Andy is complicating things. But I'm not worried. This will only up my game.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Oh, maybe Michael will start dating that too.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "All I see are boring old tables with no birthday decorations. Oh, wait a second! You mean this one?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "The only time you should care about a woman's age is if she is too young for you. And I am not robbing the cradle. If anything, I am robbing the grave.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Michael looks uncomfortable when asked about grandma names, long pause", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Nothing. Just life and... Doing things... Before you die. I don't know. Do I really want to go snowboarding? No. But I-- I would like to if I wanted to.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Gosh, these tacos are awfully complicated to make. I will make everyone's tacos.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "It's not amazing at all. It's sort of weird that I went and did that. And now your wish won't come true, so that blows.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Well, that's because you and I have very different taste. And you like lame things. It's a generational sort of gap between us.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Home run, Michael. You set the bar so high. That was a bunt.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Honestly, for a long time I thought I was going to grow old with Holly. And then I met Helene, and she is great. And she already knows and has done everything that I have ever wanted to do, and can tell me about it. But I think I want to do those things myself.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "I want you to enjoy that cake because I have something terrible I need to tell you, and I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "There's another woman, and her name is Italy... and skydiving... and bungee jumping.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "And you, unfortunately, have already completed that part of your journey down there. It's not my decision. It's mother nature. And mother has very strict rules about... fertility.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "What if Dwight dies and I still owe him something? That is a recipe for a ghost.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Damn it! I am no closer to taking Jim down. Ugh, what a waste of the day. I could have grown poison mushrooms that'd be this high by now! They're mushrooms. They don't get that high.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "You're bribing me. No, no. No, I am not. Unless you want me to. You want me to? 'Cause I will. I will bribe you. No... your face is saying don't.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, what do you want? What do you want? Do you want a million dollars? Do you want to hit me? You want me to get down on one knee and beg you? I want to hit you. What? I don't-- are you kidding? No. Are you kidding? Ye--no.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Are you scared? Never. About what? A little. What are you talking about? Heard about the punch. What punch? Pam. She's gonna punch the crap out of your face after work.", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "And Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now. I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "But at the same time, she goes crazy. And I do understand her reasoning. I know. I just need some time. Give me some time to think about it. You gotta do something. Give me some time to make a decision. How much time do you need? No more than a week. Maybe two.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "And... The--the power comes from the back foot. So it's all one motion through the body. So there's-- you stay a little low. There's a twist. You keep your shoulder down. You kind of throw the arm.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Am I scared of getting hit in the face? No. Every day, weirdos pay dominatrices hundreds of dollars for that very privilege. I'm scared I'm gonna love it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "You're just a bunch of voyeurs. Are you eating popcorn? Has almost no calories.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Okay, just... Don't ever date a member of my family again. Okay. No problem. For the record, your mom came on to me.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Holy crap!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "As I watched Pam's big, strong hand coming toward my face, I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what. I have four kids. And I have a hover-car and a hover-house. And my wife is a runner, and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends, and our kids play together. And I am happy, I'm rich, and I never die. It doesn't sound like much, but it's enough for me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "Fire Jim. No. I'm cashing in the favor. Fire him! What are you talk... Do it! Promote me. Tri-managers? Forget that. Can I have an office? No. You know what? You can keep your stupid favor. It's worthless. And this is my dinner on your face. I'm keeping it!", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Koi Pond"}, {"t": "You owe me one. You all owe me one.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Actually, I had two fish stick sandwiches. My girlfriend didn't want hers, because I guess I'm the only aphrodisiac she needs.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Fish sticks are not an aphrodisiac. You're thinking of deer penis.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends, so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Jeez, when did everyone get so cynical?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Oh, that's right, you're a woman and you need to refuse food the first time. I'll try again.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "I've always found beauty in uncommon places. Homeless people, graffiti.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "There's no better medicine than birthday lunch. It'll cure all of your, 'Gee, I don't know if Michael should be dating my mother.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "The rest of the story has been censored due to inappropriocity.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Because of sex? Kevin! Hey, please, Kevin. You're fired.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Oh, man, that's crazy. Right as we were on our way out, too. I know. Isn't that always how it goes? Rarely, if ever.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Something's up. That paper was never supposed to arrive.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Why did I get in the car? I could've struggled. I have a whistle in my purse, I didn't even blow it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Feel it against your cheek. I will.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Do not test my politeness.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "You know, here's a healthy fitness tip, if you clench your buttocks together while walking, you can really take the pressure off your knees.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Do not walk around with your jacket catawampus.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "I used to love coming here. The chicken parm is good. Big part of my childhood. Maybe Michael will start dating that, too.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "help me out with this one. Let's see, honey, you're six months pregnant, but you've only been married for 30 days, so what does that add up to?", "c": ["Helene"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Ooh, burn, burn on you. And a little bit on me, too.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "If anything, I am robbing the grave.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Do I really want to go snowboarding? No. But I would like to if I wanted to.", "c": ["Helene"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Gosh, these tacos are awfully complicated to make. I will make everyone's tacos!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "A scrapbook of our first memories, by Michael Gary Scott, for my girlfriend, Helene, on your birthday.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "You threw it in, I went back later, waded in, and I found it. That's amazing. It's not amazing at all. It's sort of weird that I went and did that.", "c": ["Michael", "Helene"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "And now your wish won't come true, so that blows.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Happy Birthday, I love you, Helene.' It's really nice, Michael. I think it sucks.", "c": ["Michael", "Helene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Well, that's because you and I have very different tastes, and you like lame things. It's a generational sort of gap between us.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "And then you stopped at the bar on the way back? Got thirsty.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "she already knows and has done everything that I have ever wanted to do and can tell me about it. But I think I want to do those things myself.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "I want you to enjoy that cake because I have something terrible I need to tell you. And I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "I cannot, in good conscience, continue to date you, when I know what this is doing to her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Well... Oh, thank you, Pam. And I hope you are as gracious during this next part.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "There's another woman, and her name is Italy, and skydiving, and bungee jumping.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "You need somebody who understands your references. Who is Kafka-esque? I've never... I don't know him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "And you, unfortunately, have already completed that part of your journey down there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "I'm 58. What am I supposed to do now? Well, hobbies. Stop.", "c": ["Helene", "Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "What if Dwight dies and I still owe him something? That is a recipe for a ghost.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Damn it! I am no closer to taking Jim down. What a waste of a day. I could've grown poison mushrooms that'd be this high by now!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "They're mushrooms, they don't get that high.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "I have the lowest sales record of anyone here. Don't, no. It's not about numbers Pam, it's about attitude. I have the worst attitude of any person here.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "With this raise, there are strings attached. And that string is attached from my heart to your mean attitude.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Tell me what Pam's brain is thinking. Come on, what do you want? What do you want?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "I want to hit you. What? I want to hit you. I'll do that.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "In the parking lot, in front of everyone. I'm going to hit you as hard as I can. Okay. Okay. See you then. See you.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now. I'm pretty sure we said slap. No, it's a punch", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Do you and Pam ever get frisky? Inappropriate. I mean, do you ever wrestle with each other?", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "She wants it bad, Michael.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Every day, weirdos pay dominatrixes hundreds of dollars for that very privilege. I'm scared I'm going to love it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Are you eating popcorn? It has almost no calories.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "For the record, your mom came on to me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Holy crap!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Feel better? No, you were right.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "As I watched Pam's big, strong hand coming toward my face, I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what? I have four kids.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "And I have a hover car and a hover house. And my wife is a runner, and it shows.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "And I am rich and I never die. It doesn't sound like much, but it's enough for me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "Fire Jim. No. I'm cashing in the favor, fire him. What are you talking... Do it.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "You know what, you can keep your stupid favor. It's worthless. And this is my dinner on your face, I'm keeping it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Double Date"}, {"t": "You cannot go wrong with a throat punch.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Last time, you pulled my pants down, and then you tried to choke me with my shoelace.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "False. I did choke you with your shoelace.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I think the most worthy opponent of you is you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Dwight fighting himself with elaborate self-narration", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Oh, my god, he's making you look like such a fool.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "You two are so evenly matched, I don't know how one of you's gonna get the upper hand.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I get like eight emails a day.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Your feelings journal? You told me to put it in the time capsule.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "It's $1.99 to finish the article.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "You can all have jobs at Schrute Farms... as human scarecrows.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "It doesn't pay much and you can't unionize.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I'll catch you on the flippity-flip.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "No, just poopin'. You know how I be.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Crazy world, lotta smells.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "It is time for the nard-dog to take matters into his own paws.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Monkey pee all over you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "There has been a murder!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "There's been a murder... in Savannah.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Operation got me through my vasectomy, i.e. my operation.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Tube city. You owe me one.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Jim's talking head about stopping Tube City", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "If you talk slowly in real life, your character could, say, have been kicked in the head by a horse.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Cool. I'll try it.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Nellie's brother.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Oh! I make them feel beautiful.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "You don't have to keep saying 'I do declare.' Anytime you say something it means you're declaring.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Delta Burke, I do declare.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "That's clever. Debutante.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "You got this kind of like Florida panhandle thing goin', whereas what you really want is more of a Savannah accent, which is more like molasses, just sort of spillin' out of your mouth.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Oh, now do the Swedish Chef.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "He lives on Sesame Street, dumbass.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Sir, there has been a murder, and you are a suspect.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "It's not my fault. I was exposed to Harry Potter.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "It's never the person you most suspect. It's also never the person you least suspect, since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Therefore, I know the killer to be Phyllis, a.k.a. Beatrix Bourbon, the person I most medium suspect.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Well, you know old Nellie is always up for a romp in the hay.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I'm a little worried I might have asked out Naughty Nellie and not Erin.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "This plantation, we're runnin' low on, uh, greenbacks, and we're havin' problems payin' the people who give us the seeds and the dirt.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "That is a mis-- that's a misdirection.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Of course, Nathaniel.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Savannah? That's a far way from Scranton.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I thought it was for real... So I was excited, but it was just-- it was part of the game.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I think Michael may have snapped. Or maybe he's just stuck in character.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Both. They're both worse.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I'm the dead body, and these are my brain chunks.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Let us have this stupid little game, all right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "We fully expect to be out of money by the end of the year-- insolvent.", "c": ["David Wallace"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "There has been another murder.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Jim's talking head about co-managing and the lifeboat analogy", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Today is the hardest I have worked in a long, long time.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Andy revealed himself to be a double agent, at which point, Dwight felt comfortable revealing that he also was a double agent, and then, Michael announced to everybody that, get this, he was a double agent.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Get the keys out of my purse, start the car.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Not again. Bow down before Recyclops.", "c": ["narrator", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Happy Earth Day, everyone. I'm Recyclops. Did you know that an old milk carton can be sawed in half and used as a planter?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Who has put a number seven plastic in a number four bin?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Recyclops will drown you in your over-watered lawns!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Then tragedy struck Recyclops when his fictional planet was attacked by some other fictitious thing, I can't remember.", "c": ["narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Recyclops will have his revenge!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I think this was also the year that he renounced Earth Day and vowed to destroy the planet he once loved.", "c": ["narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Oh, is today Recyclops Day? Yes. I thought you were killed by Polluticon or something. Polluticon wishes.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Humans are terrible for the environment.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "The thing I like most about Recyclops is that he's creating a different world for our child. A world where you truly can be anything you want. God bless you, Recyclops, and your cold robot heart.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "And it looks like you're taking a dump.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "And the crowd goes wild. Ladies and gentlemen, from Scranton, Pennsylvania, please welcome Michael 'The Machine' Scott!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Don't do the twirl. Lose the twirl. Twirl sucks. Michael, I hated the twirl. Hate the twirl.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "It's not even a twirl. It's a spin. I might do the spin.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Okay, Oscar. I don't need the whole enchilada, just bullet points. Those are the bullet points. Well, could you condense it, please? That's as simple as I can make it.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Town cars are actually better, though, better torque, better handling. He said limousine, so... Check it out, guys, there's a limo down here.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "A limousine is something that a company sends when they have cause for celebration. And in this case, I think we are celebrating me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Hate to break it to you, Oscar, but some of us like boobs. Calves. Calves all the way.", "c": ["Kevin", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Hey, you know who you should be jealous of? Yourself. Because you're invited, and you're invited...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Dummies, Morons and Idiots, because that's what you'd have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "That, that's bigger than my bed.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Doesn't seem like there's much of a point if the company's going under. But if the company doesn't go under, then we'll finally have all our contacts in one program. Company's probably going under, though.", "c": ["Ryan", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Say, your name is Zamboni, and then I will say, 'Well, we're sort of on thin ice.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Oh. It was awesome. Very, very sublime.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Your eminence.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Look, do you want to be able to tell your grandkids you stood up for yourself during America's biggest financial crisis? How is he going to have grandkids?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Not supposed to talk about it. Nelly Furtado.", "c": ["Security guard"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "If onlys and justs were candies and nuts then every day would be Erntedankfest.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I'm a co-manager. That doesn't make you a boss. It's not like you can fire people or anything.", "c": ["Jim", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Who... How did you... Who told you this? We can't say. Ryan. Sorry. I'm plastered.", "c": ["Jim", "Phyllis", "Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Got over 500 students to just skip the SATs. At the last second, I chickened out, took it anyway. Got a 1220. Always regretted it.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I feel lachrymose.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "They invited me to their hospitality suite, where I had free food and it was delicious. Get this, you know how nice they are? They sent a stretch limo all the way to pick me up in Scranton.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Do you love her, or do you love the idea of her? I don't know, man. I just don't know.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Like the time you said, 'Hey, look, we parked over here!' Well, that was apple-picking day. There was no need to yell that day. You know, I was just excited to find the car. Perfect end to a perfect day.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "It's a 45-day, 45-point, one point per day, we get to 45 points, we're back in business! And you can take that to the bank!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "And, limo lady, we are going completely carbon-neutral! I love you, New York!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I'm such a perfectionist that I'd kind of rather not do it at all than do a crappy version.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Jim putting Ryan in the annex closet as his 'new office'", "c": ["Jim", "Ryan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Is there Internet?", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "That wasn't what you were saying to me. He was much more articulate and that was better, much better.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Where's the off button on this moron?", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "I have personally won over 17 Dundie Awards, so I am not a moron.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Dwight Schrute, Scranton Branch. I just want to say that I have been standing in this line all day.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "A take-a-number option, like they have in a deli. What about line varieties? Like an express line for quick comments of 10 words or less.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "What about ropes along the lines that you can hold on to?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Shareholder Meeting"}, {"t": "Andy have a boo-boo tummy", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Crazy diarrhea happening right now. 'Cause things can get real adult real fast.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Wittle-ittle, footie-wooties, num-nums, jammies, make boom-boom, widiciwus, and Whode Island", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Do I sometimes replace Rs with Ws? Do I sometimes repeat a word to get my point across? Well, if I do, Andy's sowwy.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "It makes me look like I hire babies", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "a lot of people think your Elvis voice is annoying", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Thank you. Thank you a lot.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Tank you, Mr. Elvis. You're welcome, baby.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Dr. Tuna M.D., I have some terrible news.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "the entire office has come down with a pernicious case of the Mondays", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Don't worry. There is a surefire cure. Employee of the Month.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, AIG, my summer at Enron", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "There's about three news alerts from Nip Slip. For what? Nip Slip.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Must be hackers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Did you murder someone? Worse than murder.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I miss Pam.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "From what? Two to four? Yep.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "In approximately six hours Jim will get a phone call from David Wallace. He will be fired.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Has it really been 10 years?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I have made some empty promises in my life, but hands down, that was the most generous.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I bring good news, like when I promised those kids I'd pay for college.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I bet if you tried, you could grow the best beard of anyone in this office.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I didn't mean any of those things I just said.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "In an ideal world I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand, so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "You know what? You know, I shouldn't go in there. I'm pretty busy. I shouldn't...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Hey, Mr. Scott, what you gonna do / What you gonna do / Make our dreams come true", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Jim said that?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Number nine, number nine, Jim Halpert.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "How come not...", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Yeah, but, in your perfect world, only you get money.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "All right. I came here today because I promised you tuition, and tuition is very valuable. But you know what's invaluable? Is intuition.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, okay, I'm sort of spacing your name. I'm Zion. I'm Mikela's younger brother.", "c": ["Michael", "Zion"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn't even close, and then I thought maybe by the time I was 40, but by 40 I had less money than when I was 30.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Some people have evil dreams, some people have selfish dreams, or wet dreams. My dream was in the right place.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "you don't have to go to class to be in class. Online courses are a viable option", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "which is rendered useless without batteries, and I have one for each of you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. They're lithium.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Son of a bitch! Pam Halpert.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Oh, really? From what? Two to four? Yep.", "c": ["Unknown", "Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Tell him I'm mad at Jim 'cause he's asking us to give money to Pam.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "This is Stanley Hudson. Jim Halpert is a menace.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "They're expensive. Yeah, well, I owe you that at least, right? It's about $1,000. Really? Wow. That's over $200 a year.", "c": ["Student", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "No, $1,000 each year. For... Okay. Okay.", "c": ["Student", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "That's a lot of zeroes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Jim, I bumped you up because I thought you could make my life easier. If you can't do that, we're gonna have a separate discussion.", "c": ["David Wallace"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "I destroyed 15 young lives today. No. Yes.", "c": ["Michael", "Erin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "90% of Scott's Tots are on track to graduate, and that's 35% higher than the rest of the school", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Well, you know, when I hired Kevin, he was actually applying for a job in the warehouse.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "What? Diabolical plan? I wouldn't even know how to begin...", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Secret Santa"}, {"t": "Too loud. Too too loud, too loud. But effective. Look.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "My diabolical plot is on hold for christmas.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "My heart just melts with the sound of children singing. [snickers] Not really. I'm just tired. The days are short. I don't know. Maybe I'm depressed.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Hey, rockefeller center. I've actually been to rock center, And this is nothing like that.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Why don't we talk more about it instead of doing it?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Why would you start so high? 27... 3, 2, 1... 26...", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "You didn't decorate it. Why would you wrap it in a sheet If you're not covering anything up? Is--is it fake?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "And we're supposed to applaud you For you taking a giant diaper off a fake tree?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "My cat killed a turtledove. The french hens have started pulling out my hair To make a nest.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Is it my fault that the first eight days There's basically 30 birds?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I slipped a note to jim 11 weeks ago, And he said I could do it. [giggles] [tearfully] oh...It's been a long journey... But...[sniffles] I'm santa claus!", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "What if you've been really, really bad? More 'evil' than strictly 'wrong.'", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I had the exact same idea For catching osama bin laden. I would simply send him a different piece each day. He would assemble it To find himself... In jail!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "But really...I just get the recipe from the box. That's funny. Is it funny? I thought it was more... Interesting than funny.", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I think my water just broke. That's too funny. Oscar and the warehouse guy. Go, oscar! Go, gay warehouse guy!", "c": ["Kevin", "Others"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Hey, little girl, what would you like for christmas? Ooh! You have been a very naughty girl, I see.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "It's insane! A woman santa? Where does it stop? No!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I have a bunch of letters cut out of magazines in my desk. You can use those.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "If this were russia, yeah. Sure, everybody would go to one santa... At which point the kgb would arrest you And send you to siberia. It's a good thing russia doesn't exist anymore.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Why pay more to sit next to old tranny claus over there When you can sit on my lap? Phyllis is only pretending to be a man. I'm the real thing!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 3.65, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "No, it's not, like, penis-wise.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Michael, it's me, kevin. Phyllis says I'm too big for her lap.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "But santa remembers a reindeer That was just a tiny bit different as well.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "[quietly] oh, my god. [grunts] It's really comfortable. [gasping] [strained] what would you like for christmas, little boy? [panting]", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I don't know. I-I didn't know you were gonna ask me that. Well, what did you think was going to happen? I didn't know. Nobody's ever let me sit on their lap before.", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Can you give me some choices? 'cause I really don't wanna mess up on this list. What about if I tell you the things I don't want?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "You get a thousand helium balloons attached to you So santa doesn't have to go through this again.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Don't make me get bob involved. What would bob do? Never mind. I shouldn't have said that.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "[laughs] yeah! [both chuckling] Totally. I admit it. It's me. Seriously? [chuckling] are you serious? Yeah. Totally serious. I'm your secret santa. Busted!", "c": ["Jim", "Erin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Matt's a pretty good-lookin' dude, don't you think? I'll just leave it here with ya.", "c": ["Warehouse Worker", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "You can't yell out, 'I need this, I need this,' As you pin down an employee on your lap.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "After you almost killed me? Michael, I had you. I just wanna try phyllis.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "How do you know it's a gun? What else does it look like? Not a gun. Well, unless the missing pieces is a gun, You don't have a gun. Not a gun.", "c": ["Creed", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Let the party begin! I don't ask for much from christmas. But when you need my help because I am ruining everything, Don't look at me!", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Behold... Jesus christ. And I bring to you... Glad christmas tidings.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Oh...The antichrist. You cannot push religion. Oh, but I can push drugs in here. Is that what you're saying? Well, you have to pick one or the other. Your choice. Pick your poison.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "All right, sweetie, I'll just tell her it's michael.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Oscar's pate's great. I could eat it all day, every day. How come the good ones are never straight, right?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Yes. They're the only two gay guys I know. But they should be together.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "We don't have a north pole branch. Idiot! Oh, yes. It's space garbage. Dwight's gonna be able to build himself a friend.", "c": ["Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Yeah, except for cheating on your wife. Adultery's a sin. Look it up in the bible, people. A lotta fire where you're going. Better get used to it. You're going to h-e-l-l, double hockey sticks. Goin' to hell, stanley.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "That's fantastic! You can make another dress that goes past your feet.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I will give you a hint. His last name is christ. He has the power of flight. He can heal leopards. I am jesus, david.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Because phyllis, a woman, Has 'uslurped' my role as santa.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Earlier today, this office needed a santa. And then it needed a second santa. And then it needed a jesus. Now, it needs a michael. And that's one suit phyllis cannot fit into.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I...Don't want to say. But it's fun to stay at the... Where? Holiday inn. I don't--", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I suppose a gentleman might throw in the towel At this point. Guess what. Not gonna happen.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Ryan, you are my son, And... Pam, you're my wife, and jim... And angela and phyllis, you are my...Grandmas. And stanley, you're...Our mailman.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I call the school. I tell them I'm the pediatrician. They patch me through to his secretary. I use my little girl voice. Badda-bing, badda-boom.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "It's not sweetie. It's michael scott. What the hell-- Michael--[huffs] I have never-- never, ever--", "c": ["David", "Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "By the way, your wife is a very lucky woman.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Nice to meet you, oscar. Nice to meet you, mark. It's matt. Right, matt. I know what I'm doing, pam.", "c": ["Matt", "Oscar", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I can use this for so many nuts--macadamias, Brazil nuts, pecans, almonds. Clams. Snails.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I would like an xbox and... A tv that's compatible with an xbox. And I'm sorry.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Twelve drummers drumming. Merry Christmas, Aaron.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "When you look in the mirror and you see your push-up bra and your fake eyelashes and your makeup and your press-on nails, the principles that I'm applying to the office are the same ones that have made Lady Gaga a star. Or any number of drag queens.", "c": ["Michael Scott"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I am Computron, your answer to everything.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "What is the world's largest ocean? Calculating. Pacific!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Great news, Michael, we're now the official paper supplier of the NFL. That is fantastic. It's good, but it's not good enough. Keep working.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "She's our international sales consultant.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "It might seem crazy, but since there's no one left in New York, Michael is Dunder Mifflin's highest ranking employee.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "For the record, not onboard with fake Stanley.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "They make the best Maine lobster in the world. You'll love it. Mul Yam in Tel Aviv is better. No, Computron, actually, I think Coopers is the best.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Actually, I am a fact checker.", "c": ["Eric Ward"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I left a copy of Best American Mystery Stories 1999 in Toby's favorite stall. So, yes, I think I bought us some time.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "He has more character in a single flake of his dandruff than you have in that entire snow bank on your shoulder.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Ignore him. He's the local lunatic. Come on, Dwight, get out of here. Dwight? Who is this Dwight? Oh! You mean Dwight Schrute, the company's top salesman and the creator of Computron.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I wear many hats, but the one I'm wearing currently is that of gracious host.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Um... Nothing comes to mind.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Mike, get off of the lift. Please! Come on, now. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Today, smoking is going to save lives.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Stay alive, I'm getting help! Pull me up! You're too heavy. I only weigh 82 pounds. Save Bandit!", "c": ["Michael", "Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's the safest part of a car. In the event of a crash, the driver always protects his side first.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "My hair! Get off! Get off me! I got it! I got it! Get it off! You're welcome.", "c": ["Stanley", "others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Happy is a funny word. In what way? You know... You know, what does it mean to be happy? Keep philosophers busy for a while.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "It would be better if you were unconscious. Try my googy googy.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Can't we all just get along? Or have we forgotten the words of the Reverend King?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "You don't know? I don't know. You're the head of human resources. I don't know.", "c": ["Eric Ward", "Toby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Stanley? How about that hot picture you have by your desk? Centerfold in the Catholic schoolgirl's outfit? I mean, it is hot, it is sexy, and it turns him on. And I will admit, best part of my morning is staring at it. But what? Are we gonna just take it away? That is my daughter, she goes to Catholic girls' school.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "You said, come in! No, I didn't! Just, please, get out. Oh, my God! What's wrong with my outfit? You might consider pulling it down a touch. Bunch of prudes.", "c": ["Michael", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Meredith, your boob is out. Fine.", "c": ["Creed", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Damn it, Meredith, where are your panties? It's casual day.", "c": ["Michael", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "You know what? The only thing I am worried about is getting a boner.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Number one, inverted penis. Could you mean vagina? Because if you do, I want that covered.", "c": ["Michael", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I thought your vagina was removed during your hysterectomy. A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.", "c": ["Kevin", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "You can consider this my retirement from comedy. Does that include 'that's what she said'? Yes. Wow, that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so... That's what she said!", "c": ["Michael", "Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Why did you get it so big? That's what she said. Does the skin look red and swollen? That's what she said. That's my joke. Damn it, Dwight.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Eat it, Phyllis. Dip it in the water so it'll slide down your gullet more easily. That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I don't know how I'm going to get through this.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I don't want to lie. And I don't want to tell the truth.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "H.R. Pufnstuf. Right up my alley.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "No. This company does not waste time or resources ever.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Flernenton. Flonkerton.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Happy holidays, Dwight. But do not open it till Christmas. You're so pathetic. Well, I hope it was worth it, because I'm going to take it apart in about five minutes. I think it'll take you a little bit longer than that.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "If I can skin a mule deer in less than 10 minutes, I ought to be able to cut my... Damn it! Jim!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "He put my stuff in Jell-O again. Bang, boom, shake, klump!", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Question, what kind of bear is best? That's a ridiculous question. False. Black bear. Well, that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought. Fact, bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "This is Creed. And he is in charge of something. Right? That is correct.", "c": ["Michael", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Hey, where's Dwight? You didn't hear? Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure none of that's real. You're not real, man.", "c": ["Jim", "Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "This is a building where friends become lovers, and lovers become sexually interactive, right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "I like you. But you need to access your un-crazy side.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Darryl Philbin is the most complicated man that I've ever met. I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Snip, snap! Snip, snap! Snip, snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.82, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Well, I hope you're still committed, because I'm pregnant.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Jim has got it bad for Pam. Oh! Which one is Pam?", "c": ["Michael", "Eric Ward"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "But I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's totally qualified and smart. Everyone loves him. If he never comes back again, that's okay. We're friends. We just... We never got the timing right. But you know what, it's okay. I'm totally fine. Everything is going to be totally... Pam. Sorry. Are you free for dinner tonight? Yes. All right. Then it's a date.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Pam, will you marry me? Oh, my God!", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "What is Jim capable of? Or Pam? Or Kevin?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Computron experiencing emotion. Computron, I'm going to pull your plug, okay, buddy? Please don't. Computron wants to live. Shut... Shut up. Shut up.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Sittin' in my office With a plate of grilled bacon Call my man Dwight Just to see what was shakin'! Yo, Mike, our town is dope and pretty So check out how we live In the Electric City! They call it Scranton! What? The Electric City!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "The Banker"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah! I've got a big box, yes I do! I've got a big box, how about you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "It is 'from Sah-bray,' our new owner, and it is 'to Sah-bray.' Us!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "I wonder what's inside. Scissor me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "We didn't need them touching our asses.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "This cord has Creed written all over it.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Due to circumstances beyond my control... Impulsivity and inattention to detail... Hey, hey.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Impossible. He opened it like an ape.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Have you tried making everything smaller?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "No, don't! Thank you. Oh! Got it. Okay.", "c": ["Michael", "Erin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Why do I have to explain everything? Because we're usually not on the same page.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Gabe seems tall. Hope we get along.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Welcome. Scranton hotdog from Scranton?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Co-manager, actually. In training. Trained. Loving it. Good at it, so...", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Sabre. Sabre. It's Sabre. It's Sabre. Oh. Of course. Sabre.", "c": ["Gabe", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Dunder Mifflin and Sah-bray... Sabre. It's Sabre. Dunder Mifflin and Sabre", "c": ["Andy", "Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Oh, you MapQuested it. It's four blocks away. Well, now we won't get lost. Or we could drive, and that takes one minute.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "But if not, there's always the Army. The infantry. Okay. Okay. Yeah.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Sabre is respecting the past, but opening the window to the future.", "c": ["Christian Slater"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Have you ever tasted a rainbow? At Sabre, you will.", "c": ["Christian Slater"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Perfect. No. Don't like that.", "c": ["Gabe", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Talk about vacation days!", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "No. Don't like that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "They're two-ounce paper cups dipped in plastic. He goes through 20 a day.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "You know what can't fit in a bottle are the 20 little trips I take to the cooler, and the 20 little scans I do of everybody to make sure everything's running smoothly, and the 20 little conversations that I have with Stanley.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "But 70% of me is water, and the other part, the real part, the part that has feelings and emotions and thoughts and makes decisions, and, if I can be crass, makes babies, that part thinks that all of these changes suck...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "You don't have enough water in there? Your stomach?", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Too much change is not a good thing. Ask the climate.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Am I too old to go here?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Well, maybe they ran away 'cause the pizza was, like, 'Hey, get out of here, you stupid strawberries.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Thank you. I've been working on it since I was a little girl.", "c": ["Jo Bennett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "the last time I saw a company as mismanaged as Dunder Mifflin was my grandson's snowball company", "c": ["Jo Bennett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Is Christian Slater back there? Because he knows... He'd know what to do.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "No. Yes, we saw this, yes. No, it wasn't like a look around, we really just had a peek. Quick peek. Didn't focus on anything in particular. It's lovely.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "That's the weirdest possible solution to the problem.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Hey! Wow. That's very loud. Keep it up, son!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "'Cause I saw you had shoes on, so I didn't know if you did anything.", "c": ["David Wallace's wife"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Is this because Jim walked in on you going to the bathroom?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "This coming from the guy who still uses a children's toilet.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Why didn't you just lock the door, man? It doesn't lock for the children's safety. Anybody could have walked in. It was story time.", "c": ["Jim", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "So the kid's making the noise to pick it up? Yeah. No. No, no, that's the vacuum noise.", "c": ["Michael", "David Wallace"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "That's as hard as I can hint.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "'Suck lt.' That's what it's called. Oh! Okay. Huh? Catchy. Kid's will love it.", "c": ["David Wallace", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "There are very few things that would make me not want to team up with David Wallace, and Suck It is one of them.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "That was some sort of weird creature that lives in David Wallace's house.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "You know when people say getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to them? I feel sorry for those people. That? The best thing? Really?", "c": ["David Wallace"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Orange juice is in here, and like Sabre, it is from Florida, and it is good.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Just 'cause you have liquid, that doesn't make it a toast.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Wow, that is metallicy. That's like drinking a battery. Really gets you in the fillings, doesn't it?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "Take out your Suck It And you'll suck it, suck it Take out your Suck It and you'll suck it", "c": ["David Wallace", "Teddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "The Manager And The Salesman"}, {"t": "My favorite sport is one involving men with brooms, and they broom the ice in front of these cylindrical discs that float gently across the ice. And they smack into one another, and no one really explains the rules, but it's mesmerizing. And there are no winners, and no losers, only poetry, and it is called curdling.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Could it be under Affirmation? No. 'Cause you have thousands of those.", "c": ["Hotel clerk", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Today Jo Bennett, the CEO from Sabre, is coming to see us here for the first time. She bought us sight unseen, like a mail-order bride.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "So she's gotta be kinda nervous. I mean, are we ugly? Are we smart? Are we cool? Are we too cool? Do we speak English?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "My husband and I are divorced, but I kept the Mrs. just to piss off the new wife.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "These sure are pretty dogs. They love a good crotch. / Yeah, they sure do. / You should take that as a compliment. / Oh, I do.", "c": ["Jo", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Do you always stay seated when a lady enters the room? / I am treating you the same as a man for whom I would also not stand, unless it was the president or Judge Judy.", "c": ["Jo", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Two guys doing one job? We gotta do something about that.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Jeez, you gave me a paper cut on my throat! Yeah, I have this thing about men cutting or threatening to cut my throat. Don't try to cut my throat.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Jo, I don't know how things work in Florida which, from your description, sounds like a colorful, lawless swamp. But here it takes two men to do one job, where in Florida it might take one very strong woman to do such a job.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Each of you is doing half a job. / No. / And sometimes I can hardly handle that.", "c": ["Jo", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "You can't give me gravy and tell me it's jelly 'cause gravy ain't sweet. Is it, Jim? / I don't think so. / Michael? / Forget the question.", "c": ["Jo", "Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Because, well, Jim, where I'm from, there are two types of folk: those who ain't and those who are knee-high on a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't? Y'all come back now.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "I was Miss Mott's Applesauce of 1966, Miss Peach Cobbler of 1967, Miss Mott's Applesauce in 1968.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Whoa, traffic jam. / Ooh. Uh-oh! Traffic jam on Route Three. / Beep beep! / Beep beep! / 20 people dead in a pileup. / There's blood everywhere!", "c": ["Office workers"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "You named them? / Uh, Charles Schulz did.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "It's got pheromones in it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "I was 26 years old, working at Kodak... I strode into the boardroom wearing nothing but a pair of spike heels, a lace push-up bra, and matching lace panties... and I said, 'Gentlemen, if this is all you see, then take a good look.'", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "As a male manager, I would have never done that to you. I--I am nothing if not not sexist. / That's setting the bar a little low, isn't it? / The only time I set the bar low is for limbo.", "c": ["Michael", "Jo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "I mean, where is that? Near Mars? / No, we know. Texas.", "c": ["Jo", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Camel Cigarettes did the same thing with Joe Camel by making him look like a penis. I can't even go near a cigarette now without thinking of a penis, and vice versa.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "I mean, I barely know my own Cadillac. And you know, sometimes I go in reverse when I wanna go forwards. I nearly killed a bunch of preschoolers.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "I guess Andy likes me. I never thought of him in that way. But I guess in most romantic comedies, the guy you're supposed to be with is the one that you never thought of in that way. You might have even thought he was annoying or possibly homosexual.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "You know how some people say they're not in it for the money? Well, with all due respect to this job, I think I'm definitely in it for the money, and quite honestly, the women.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "If you visualize something, it can actually come true. / What? / I wonder if it works for other stuff.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "It's Saturday night and Sheryl Crow is the musical guest on 'SNL.' And the camera turns to me. I'm in the audience, laughing. I'm her boyfriend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Oh, that is my favorite ocean. I love it. Why is the Atlantic Ocean the best ocean? That is simple. According to Oprah, the Pacific Ocean is pretty much just garbage. The Indian Ocean is full of pirates. The Arctic Ocean is too cold. And the Southern Ocean is just the bottom of all the other oceans.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "That is where the amoebas crawled from the murky depths and became man. So pretty cool.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Manuel who?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Son of a bitch. Pardon me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "I would sleep in my office, and I would sexually harass people. / Why would you do that? / I'm turning myself in right now.", "c": ["Michael", "Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Oh, Michael marked his heights. He's grown. / Mm.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Of course I seesaw. Mose and I seesaw all the time.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "That is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my life. / Well, suggest something else then, don't just-- / He's supposed to cut his leg off? / Don't just criticize my idea! / Think! / You think of something then!", "c": ["Dwight", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "I just gotta stick with one of them, you know? I'm looking forward to this plot making me a better person.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Michael Scott, head of sales. / You gotta do something, man. You can't just sit there.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Like Frodo. / Why don't you just let me handle the Tolkien references, okay, dumb jock? / Well, I think he can be corrupted, like Gollum. / Smeagol was corrupted and became Gollum.", "c": ["Ryan", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "God, when this whole thing is done, I'm gonna bring you out to the farm and read you the entire trilogy and show you what an idiot you are.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Do you want me to spin you in your chair and make you dizzy? / Why would I want to do that? / It's a thinking technique. All the top executives do it. It keeps the brain moving, and a spinning brain is a working brain.", "c": ["Erin", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "I just got a new account, the gentleman's club in Carbondale. It is called Curves. I went by there the other day, saw some of the women walking in. Not really my cup of tea. Actually, Kevin, you might like it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "It's not really 1992 anymore.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Obsessed with me much? / Well, everyone got one. / What did yours say? / Friends are worth sharing a doghouse with.", "c": ["Kelly", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "That girl can sing and dance and gets all of her clothes at the mall, and I feel like such a fool for thinking that Andy was only going after one girl 'cause Andy Bernard is a playboy, and why shouldn't he be? He's got it all.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "No, the cops called us.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "That's because you kept opening the freezer door to check if they were frozen. / Yeah, but then I left it closed, and now they're all gone.", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "No, this is geological. / I sent an email out to everyone in this area that this might be a side effect to my new allergy medication I'm on. / Are you kidding me? / No.", "c": ["Michael", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Yes, money can buy happiness, but can it buy things? Things like a private office or a nose that can't smell? Answer is no.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Believe me, if I got that card, we'd be in the bathroom doing it right now.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Well, the grass is always greener. / Yeah, except there's no grass out there. It's just a farty dirt patch.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "We make a poster that says 'Happy Opposite Day,' and she sees it on the way out. That's stupid. Oh, I wish we had one of those amnesia flashlights from 'Men in Black,' and just--", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Hey, what was that movie where their boss was within earshot, and they could have just gone and talked to her? / Lethal Weapon? / That's it. I think we should do it the 'Lethal Weapon' way.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Jo, I am a man of few words. I don't mince words. I try to use as few words as possible to express an idea or a thought or a concept. Along those lines-- / Jo, we made a mistake.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "And weirdly, I'm a good dog person, right, guys? Come on. See? They love me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "And don't ride 'em. A lot of people try to ride 'em.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Do you realize how hard that makes me like you, Andy?", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Boss for--what was it? Oh, 4 1/2 hours? New record, low. Previous record, Henry Rostin. Boss for nine years, four months, and he only left because he had family matters to attend to.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "I can't help but think that something we did made this possible. / Jim dug his own grave, but maybe we provided the shovel.", "c": ["Dwight", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Why not? / No, because martini bars are pretentious! No, thank you. / I'm sorry that I don't want farm boy swill like you do, you know? / It is not farm boy swill. I will show you. It is beet vodka, and it is delicious.", "c": ["Ryan", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "Um, please don't make it a habit. / I'm afraid I'm going to.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "The Delivery"}, {"t": "You cannot exploit your baby for sales.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "My cousin came down with a case of that nasty new goat fungus... The doctor says he's never seen it beard so quickly.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I need a baby. I'll never outsell Jim and Pam without one.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Sometimes I wake up cradling a gourd.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Just second breakfast, lunch, second lunch and first dinner.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I cannot wait for that joke to be over.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Actually, I put diesel in this time. Tried to save some money.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Well, the baby was conceived here, so might as well live here a little bit, too.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Burning Man, Porta Potty.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Yuck! TMI. How was it?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Otherwise the baby's gonna become a teenager in there, and you'll be up all night from the rock music.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Shut up, Nick. God! What a weird thing to say.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Weird IT nerd. Don't get revenge on me, nerd.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Then they take your insides out and they just plop them on a table, and sometimes epidurals don't work, and you can poop yourself.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Bear my child.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Very well. Let's meet at 4:00 p.m. In our old meeting spot and bang it out.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "if your baby's born tomorrow, he's gonna have the same birthday as Buttmud Brooks, my old roommate.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I'm just the left tackle who happened to get her pregnant.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "until I was about six or so, when my parents changed their minds... My brother was born and my parents felt he better exemplified the Walter Junior name", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, my mom received compliments left and right from my teachers on how I was always able to distract others in class.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I can put on lipstick the way Molly Ringwald does in The Breakfast Club.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "No, no. I don't think anybody wants to see that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "You're clapping. I need complete silence.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "then weaned onto a nutrient-rich, winter vegetable mash provided by the father, Dwight Schrute, hereafter referred to as Morpheus.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Think of Pam's nipples as Toby's grundle.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Stick spicy food up her butt.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I know Pam better than anyone in this office, and obviously she's gone crazy, but everybody wants to say that I'm crazy. But I'm not crazy. She's crazy. I'm not crazy. She's crazy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "It's as simple as keeping the womb extremely warm for two days after sex, and then extremely cold for five months.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I called the doctor, like, a week ago. I couldn't wait.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. My water broke.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Too bad you didn't have sex, like, seven-and-a-half hours later.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "That's Fancy Feast. Ultra feast is something they made up so they can pig out together in the name of ceremony.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I tried to bake a cake like that District 9 prawn thing, but I...", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I'm not going today because I can't do it! I don't think I can do it!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I didn't know we had a tape measure.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "This is where I saw that deer last week.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "In fact, a few years back, I put an ad in the paper starting an escort service. Got a lot of responses. Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "You're not allowed to impersonate a police officer.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Jim, I don't want the first thing the baby hears to be the 8 Mile soundtrack.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Do you want your kid to come out a lawyer?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Then why didn't you ask me to do it yesterday?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I just did.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Pam's doing great. Uh, she's 10 inches dilated now. Sorry, meters... Centimeters.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "That kid's gonna have a lot of hair.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "This frame set me back 55 bones. But she decided to take her sweet time, so now I have to switch it with today's paper.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I have an ice cream cake in the car.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "No, let's let her rest. I'm sure there are still 12 of each.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "There is nothing I cannot diaper. Go ahead. Try to think of something. I dare you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "You know, I think it's time for me to go.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Again. No pants.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I also made plans to ask Jim where he bought his marvelous sheets.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "The odds of them getting together were insurmountainable.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Who wants to live in a world where Stanley has two lovers and you don't have any?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Torn scrotum. Still on the mend, so...", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Literally. I have a small skylight in my bedroom, and I'd like for the moon to be visible.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I am going to fill that empty hole in your body with another person.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Do you want to try it, Jim?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I would like you to meet your new boyfriend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Kevin has an enormous heart. Literally, he has an elephant heart. He had a transplant when he was 17.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "So, you must have grown up around somewhere else?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "You think all I do is hide behind plants and spy on people? Busted.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Got milk?", "c": ["Clarke"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Nothing left to do except dot the I's, the J's and the umlauts.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "even if someone told you that, you should know that that could never be possible, Kevin.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "This isn't about me, and that is debatable, and I have a personality, whereas you...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Wrong baby. This is not our baby!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Newsflash, the whole thing needs to go in the car.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Are they, now? How some people spend their money, right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I need you to send it immediately or you're fired.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Five tickets on the windshield.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "I think I'm going to be sick.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Just pour yourself a cup of apple juice. I feel sick.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "Give me a couple days. Be out of your hair.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Delivery (1)"}, {"t": "She's 10 inches dilated now. Sorry, meters... Centimeters.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "But no baby yet. It's only been six... Nineteen hours.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "No, don't push. Pull! Pull!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Gotta go wash my eyes.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "That kid's gonna have a lot of hair.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Have you guys seen her? She hasn't popped yet. What? Damn it! She was supposed to come out yesterday.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "I decided to give Baby Halpert the newspaper from the day she was born. This frame set me back 55 bones. But she decided to take her sweet time, so now I have to switch it with today's paper.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "I have an ice cream cake in the car. Oh, my God! Go! Go! Go! Are you insane?", "c": ["Phyllis", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's right. It's a baby, see?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Sir, you can't smoke that in here. Can't smoke anywhere these days.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "No, let's let her rest. I'm sure there are still 12 of each.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Eleven pounds, four... She's seven pounds, two ounces, 18 inches. Seven pounds.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "There is nothing I cannot diaper. Go ahead. Try to think of something. I dare you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Love you. Love you as a friend.", "c": ["Michael", "Helene"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Again. No pants.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "That's so weird. She was saying it just before you got here.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "I searched everywhere, but I didn't find it. What I did find was mold, and lots of it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "I also made plans to ask Jim where he bought his marvelous sheets.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "The odds of them getting together were insurmountainable.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "I made a family. I got these two together and I made a family. This man has a gift.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Okay, show of hands. Who wants to live in a world where Stanley has two lovers and you don't have any?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Plus-size models, maybe.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Torn scrotum. Still on the mend, so... Not good timing.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Yes, I'm gonna ask out Erin. I'm just waiting for the stars to align. Literally. I have a small skylight in my bedroom, and I'd like for the moon to be visible.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "I am going to fill that empty hole in your body with another person.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "I can't. She's too strong.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Do you want to try it, Jim? Mmm-mmm. I think you're good. Doing a good job.", "c": ["Lactation consultant", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Yeah, maybe it'll be good 'cause then she can, like, socialize with the other babies.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "You got to let the cookies cool before you pop them in your mouth.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Kevin has an enormous heart. Literally, he has an elephant heart. He had a transplant when he was 17. Had some problems... Really? No. Kevin doesn't have an elephant heart, but he is very sensitive,", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Nice. She touched my shoulder.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Wow, she just shoves the nipple right in there.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Why was I hiding behind the plant? Well, in college I took a botany class, and there was lots of drama in that class. Uh... Kids would gossip about me, so I would eavesdrop on them by hiding behind different plants in the botany class.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "And then I would jump out at them and confront them and be like, 'You think all I do is hide behind plants and spy on people? Busted.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Got milk?", "c": ["Clarke"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Nothing left to do except dot the I's, the J's and the umlauts.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Why don't you meet me here at exactly mid-late afternoon?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Oh! We're doing it. That's great. We're really parents now.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Look, Kevin, do you really think that you could have dated Erin? You said she liked me. Okay, even if someone told you that, you should know that that could never be possible, Kevin.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "I've done better than Erin. No, you haven't. Lynn was way hotter than Erin, Michael. Lynn was as hot as Erin.", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Wrong baby. What? Wrong baby. This is not our baby!", "c": ["Isabel", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Newsflash, the whole thing needs to go in the car.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Are they, now? How some people spend their money, right?", "c": ["Isabel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "The fax says, 'Erin, will you have dinner with me? From, Andy.' And the number is our office fax number.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "You can't talk to me like that. I didn't do anything wrong.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Five tickets on the windshield.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "I think I'm going to be sick.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "I couldn't find your iPod. Give me a couple days. Be out of your hair.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "The Delivery (2)"}, {"t": "Nature's viagra. Two of my favorite joke areas combined. Gonna be a good day.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "It is the closest that the irish will ever get to christmas.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Mega-desk. Command central. Surveillance, scanning, and business.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Tweedledee and tweedledum ass have been away on maternity leave. But now tweedledum ass is back, and we have a problem.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Getting more...Mega-desk. That is all I care about.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "My dogs love peein' in that snow. Makes me think they're on to somethin'.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Have I been that naughty? / No, no, no. That is a good gift, actually. Uh, buildings here in scranton are literally powered by coal.", "c": ["Jo", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "We don't get much coal down in tallahassee. I mean, just alligators and some of the worst chinese food you've ever tasted.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "When you work for sabre, only one thing matters. And I don't care if you're a loser or you practice bestiality, if jo likes you, you are in.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "It's actually my sister's old field hockey skirt.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Because according to how I met your mother, that's the date that your kids are gonna wait patiently to hear about, and you'd better have a good story for them.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "False. I am an island. And this island is volcanic. And it is about to erupt with the molten hot lava of strategy.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "The baby thinks that the refrigerator is its father.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I thought my mother was my father and my wet nurse was my mother. / That's a common mistake.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Turned out fine for me, but mose... Oh...Same story, different ending.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "In your nose. / Yes.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Except once when I was in the hospital from age three to six.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Oh, jo, I have an idea for suntan lotion soap.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Oscar, homosexual accountant.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Darryl. Mellow, soulful, smart for warehouse.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Look at that picture that you drew. Nice job. We're very proud of you.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "You know what, we are going to tape that up on the refrigerator in the kitchen.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "How about July 4th weekend? / Oh, honey, you didn't buy a ticket. / I did.", "c": ["Michael", "Jo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "In the spirit of full disclosure, I have actually reserved a bunch of different seats on a bunch of different flights.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Enough!", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Jo doesn't like michael anymore... Mm.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "How many knocks does it take to get you to do some work?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "* Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon * [Jim trying to work while Dwight sings loudly]", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I'm not surprised that dwight's using my baby to steal my desk. But I'm a little surprised that it's working.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "She's still gonna like me in a week. Right?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "A real hoop dreams story you got there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Does her family owe your family something in terms of a past injustice?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Now mike, I have to ask you to leave so that I can learn about this tiny television.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Well, if you can put your name on this day and be proud of the amount of work you've done, then by all means, you should toodle on home.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Just because jo has no life does not mean that the rest of us don't have lives.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Hey, pac-man. / Hey, what's up, butt plug?", "c": ["Michael", "Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Hike up your skirt and pull out your tampon, borrow some balls and come meet me!", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I'm in my jammy jams. / That's okay, I'm in my worky works.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Or marryin' rich. And I did both.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "So the baby can experience a strong male presence. [pause] No? Nothing? Okay.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "And by the way, seriously, we never, never do this.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Your shirt tucked in? / Oh, yeah. Um. I must have did that when I used the bathroom.", "c": ["Friend", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Well, any brother of erin's is a friend of mine. / Cold hands.", "c": ["Andy", "Reed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Plus, you don't have to sit next to this big dork and her smelly feet. / Hey, my feet aren't smelly. / They smell like roses. Smell them.", "c": ["Reed", "Erin", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Nice skirt. / It's a kilt.", "c": ["Reed", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "It's not to celebrate st. Patrick's day. It's so I can protest st. Patrick's day.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I could get a girlfriend, wouldn't have to go to amsterdam seven times a year.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "I want to have been married by the time I would've turned 30.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Very, very solid all the way arod.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "As the irish poet bobby mcferrin said, 'don't worry, be happy.' Whoops.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "St. Patricks Day"}, {"t": "Look at him, t-shirt, jeans. - Is it you? - I am flattered.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "That's johnny depp. I read in people magazine that he was looking for a two-bedroom condo in scranton.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Where do I find the black pearl? Captain jack sparrow. John dillinger. No. I'm captain jack sparrow. Captain crunch.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Remember how you felt when you thought you'd seen roger clemens? At the yankees game. - Yeah. Well, it wasn't him.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "It also explains why the name on his mailbox was m. Shulman.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "M. Night shulman?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "The lost and found has gone missing. It itself is lost.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "You couldn't handle my undivided attention.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Make friends first, make sales second, make love third... in no particular order.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Including the car phone!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Salesman is king. As the best salesman, I am king of kings. Oh, you say jesus is king of kings? Well, what does that say to you about how I think of myself?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Honey, if I don't have time to answer an email, I definitely don't have time to walk over to your desk.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Wow wowie wowie.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Stop sexting pam.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "You writing your memoirs over there? You writing your name over there?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "There's other pencils in this office. Gimme--I--", "c": ["Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Honey and jelly sandwich time.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Didn't have to see. It was sales--I can feel it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "The sales department smashed my sandwich. Yes. All of 'em. Together. It's a conspiracy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "That's what she said. - Yeah. - Yeah.", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Hand 'em over, numb nuts. But seriously, I mean, it's your job to give us those leads.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Not even sabre owns this place. It's a rental.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "I am sick of your uppity attitude...Jim.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Just imagine that instead of going to jail for murdering someone, you got an ice cream cone. If that were the case, then in the summertime, everyone would go around killing people for the pleasure of an ice cream cone.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Michael, I don't want to 'incentivize' murder.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "So I am going to give the leads to...King creed. And to king...Meredith! They aren't sales people. And to king angela. Because today we are all kings. And queens.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Oh, right. Those are clues. And within each clue is a lesson. You learn a lesson, and then you find a lead.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "I'm trying to make your kids respect you. Because a father needs to respect his boss, and kids don't respect the father who doesn't respect the boss. Do you understand that line of logic? I don't even think you understand it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "This one's a map. Or is it?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Oh, how the tables have turned.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "And when you're done, you can watch me shred them.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "I want to watch the kardashians, okay? I don't want to watch- it's mindless! The kardashians is a good show. - Thank you, stanley! - No, you don't even know! How would he even know the kardashians?", "c": ["Andy", "Stanley", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "When arrogant salesmen are mean to my face, a certain manager will go to his moppy place. He means his mopey place. It's under that street lamp that he thinks was in casablanca.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "God, I love you. Today I turned an office crisis into a teachable moment. A lesser manager would have screwed this day up royally.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Yeah. I basically wish you were dead.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Colder. Cold...Er. Warmer. Colder. Colder. C-- Warmer. Warmer... Hot! Hotter... Burning hot! Lower... Are you-- lower... Are you sure? Low...Er...", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "What are you doing, idiot? Michael's stupid scavenger hunt. Scavenger hunt? Here. I can solve it. Give it. The prankster is getting pranked. Ha ha.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "The treasure you seek is in the parking lot under the first president? Lincoln.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Go to the man who never breeds. kevin.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "You are never going to find them. - Really? - I'm going to enjoy this. Gimme the leads! Where are the leads? Gimme the leads! I'm still enjoying it!", "c": ["Kevin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "They're in the trash. the trash. It's code. All right, meredith. Take off your dress. Okey-dokey. No. Dear god, no. It's in the trash can.", "c": ["Kevin", "Andy", "Meredith"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "It's coming off either way.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "I emptied it in the dumpster. It had toby's baba ganoush. If we don't patronize the only syrian restaurant in town, there'll be nothing left but pan pizzas and, you know... make your own salads.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Tonight is ghost whisperer... So Friday.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Hi, you know those very valuable, expensive leads that you gave us earlier today? Well, because of a screw-up by a staff member, they're now in the city dump. Not your staff, michael. You.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Then we'll all go out and get pizza, maybe catch a movie, late-night drink. Some more pizza, call it a night. Does it have to be pizza? Can we go for a falafel?", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "You were complicit. Complicit. You were all 'successories.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "There was a time you'd be pinching yourself to have the opportunity to look through a dump with me. Yeah, well, the acorn becomes the oak. Yeah. Well, sometimes the acorn just stays an acorn.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "If you don't believe me, look in my gutters.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Don't use your cute baby to make us like you. She's wearing a onesie. stop it.", "c": ["Angela", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "A lot of their work can be done from india.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "You've changed, man. Oh, why, 'cause I have a shot at a 100k commission? When do you care about money? When I first met you, you were a wide-eyed innocent. Hey, there is nothing I can do about my wide-set eyes.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "I would be number two right now at a home depot! 'cause they promote from within! I hitched my wagon to a horse with no legs.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "I should have been out at bars finding my soul mate, finding my wife, making babies. Nice babies you're making with the floozies at the bars! That's my wife you're talking about, man! Your made-up wife who doesn't exist?", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "You just made an enemy with the wrong guy, boy.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "That's my spool!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Erin just texted me back. 'people love shells from faraway beaches.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "No other animal on earth could do this. Maybe beavers... But not like this.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "We get it-- you eat like royalty. No, no. This is a representation of how we feel. And how we feel is really sorry.", "c": ["Stanley", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "2% milk! What I forgot for the coffee. Yeah, treats, stanley. They've accepted our simple offer of treats only, nothing more.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Purple much? - Yeah, she does. She loves purple.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Just this whole dump, and in the middle, one flower. - Mm-hmm. - That's it. And the caption would read... Hope... Grows... In a dump.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "We have an awesome beanbag chair that's perfect for the break room. Eech! I'm never gonna sit on that disgusting seat. Yeah, damn right, you're not, 'cause it's for me and michael only!", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "You're the nicest person I've ever met.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "New Leads"}, {"t": "Not counting the last one, 25. / Count the last one. / Okay, 25 and one girl pushup.", "c": ["Michael", "Employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Anyone who does more than 25 pushups... And one girl pushup. ...gets to go home.", "c": ["Michael", "Employee"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I say 'dance,' they say 'how high?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Essentially what we have here is one of those stories where a mother lifts a car to save her baby.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "He's got all this weight that's helping him go down.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "All right, Papa Bear.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "No. I always come in at 7:00. / No you don't.", "c": ["Oscar", "Matt"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Yeah, we talked this morning, and we talked at Christmas, so a little momentum there.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Has that ever happened? Ever? / Didn't we? I think we did.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "You can be gay with Matt, just be straight with me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I tend to wear something low-cut, get men to flirt with me, and Bob beats them up.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I gotta tell you, this baby is amazing. She gets me out of everything. And I love her. I also love her very much.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I did not see this coming.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Talk to me that way again and I'll cut your face off. / Whoa!", "c": ["Angela", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "That's actually pretty funny, but in general, you know... Quiet.", "c": ["Angela", "Andy"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Well, when a new mom hears a baby cry, her you-know-whats fill up with you know what, and then her shirt gets, you know... That would be funny.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "That would be sublime.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I'll call this a deck if it'll make you happy, but this is just a porch without a roof.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Pam and Jim work for me, and if they win, they are fired. / I should hope not. / No. No. Not really. Not really. But they better not win.", "c": ["Michael", "Julie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "A girl like me is why a guy like you comes to a place like this. / Ooh. I love repartee. / Do you? / Usually means there's a battle scene coming.", "c": ["Isabel", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "See, I didn't think you could teach that. I thought that was something you were born with. / What am I thinking right now? / Are you thinking that I said ESP? / Yes. I feel like an idiot.", "c": ["Michael", "Isabel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I was a little nervous when Pam told me he was her boss, but he doesn't act like a boss at all. If I had a boss like that, we'd never get anything done.", "c": ["Isabel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Well, apparently Michael Scott is on a date, and that... That, my friend, changes everything.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Do you want to just make a run for it? / Maybe.", "c": ["Julie", "Isabel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Mommy!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Stop telling me how to spend my tickets. / They'd be like, 'What's up with those two?' 'Hey, guys, get a bedroom already.' 'Did we miss the wedding?'", "c": ["Angela", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Three brothers. Really? Two are in the Marines, one's a cop. / Vegetarian? / No. I love meat. / What's your blood type? / O negative. Universal donor.", "c": ["Julie", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Angela versus Isabel. Height, advantage Isabel. Birthing hips, advantage Isabel. Remaining childbearing years, advantage Isabel. Legal obligation, advantage Angela.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I'm tying a knot in the stem with my tongue. / Michael, you don't have to do this.", "c": ["Michael", "Julie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk. And I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "This is exactly what I don't want. The drama. I don't want the drama! / You love drama. / I know, I do, right? I'm a total drama queen.", "c": ["Angela", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, no. I want a big family. Tall, thick. A big, physically big family.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Wow! Maybe we should tell her he's not normally like this. / Maybe it should come from a man. / Maybe it should come from a note. / With flowers. Tomorrow.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Yeah! Why don't you send the bill to 23 I Don't Care Lane, Scranton, Pennsylvania?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "We got a problem? / Yes. Homelessness.", "c": ["Bartender", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Well, it just so happens that I'm a manager, too, and the way I manage people is that I touch their hearts and souls with humor, with love and maybe a dash of razzle-dazzle, and I don't see that from you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "If you're really interested, it is called Somehow I Manage, and there's going to be a picture of me on the cover shrugging with my sleeves rolled up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Read it? I own it. But no, I have not read it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I own a Chrysler. / Shut up. / No, you shut up.", "c": ["Bar Manager", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Go, go. Just sit down next to a beautiful woman and start talking to myself to confuse other people.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "We didn't say we were gonna, like, start groping strangers. / I was flirting with a man.", "c": ["Angela", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I did. I actually put it in your bowl.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Whoa! A lot of Stanley Hudsons in here.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "He's more just... Like...", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Let me tell you something, Oscar, all right? Matt's an okay dude, but he's a dummy. You guys got nothing in common.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Hi, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Andrew Bernard and I've been on two dates with Erin Hannon and they went well, and there will probably be more. Thank you.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "I wish he'd come after me. I would be like... / Dwight Schrute! / Dwight Kurt Schrute. Shut up, what?", "c": ["Dwight", "Process Server"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Dwight recently entered into a contract with me, establishing intent to conceive and raise a child with me. / Did he not tell you that? / What?", "c": ["Angela", "Isabel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Whack. / You will see me in small claims court!", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Got to hang out with my peeps. Sort of did okay with a new young lady. / Actually you didn't. Not at all.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Some of the credit is due, in fact, to my good friend Date Mike. Nice to meet me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "Happy Hour"}, {"t": "Have you seen them? Wait, I'm sitting on them.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "What's the difference between a chimichanga, a chalupa and a tostada? Call me back ASAP. It's urgent.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Wait, this isn't funny. I don't talk like that.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Say, 'Me eat cookie.' No. I won't say it.", "c": ["Unknown", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Break it up, you clique.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Is that the program where all those puppets live in the barrio?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "It's Secretary's Day. And it is Erin's and my three-week anniversary, so perfect storm for a romantic gesture.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I sent an email blast, a text blast, a good old-fashioned talk blast.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I sent a snail-mail blast a week ago, and a stern reminder via fax at 7:00 this morning, so people better step up and appreciate the crap out of Erin.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "If it wasn't for secretaries, I wouldn't have a stepmom.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "What was maternity leave like? Oh. How do I explain it? It rocked. It rocked my ass off.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "You couldn't have watered it? I literally did not know that existed until this moment. Well, I knew it existed, and I chose to let it die.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "She's kind of a rube. That's my girlfriend you're talking about.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I got a picture of you asking me to lunch.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Well, happy boss's day. There wouldn't be a secretary if there was no boss.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, ha, ha, tray of cookies. I'm not falling for that. I brought those in. It's my birthday.", "c": ["Kevin", "Darryl"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "That's some stone-cold narcissism right there.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "They're making fun of Cookie Monster. I get that. But in a strange way, it feels like they're making fun of me.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Oscar, did you eat some of my M&M's? The level...", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "This is violent and offensive.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Either they don't respect me, or they respect me too much. And some of them still think that I'm the IT guy.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "And that's straight from corporate, so... Not to be scary, but, yeah, I would listen to me.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "This is a novelization of the movie Precious, Based on the Book Push by Sapphire.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I would have chosen the 1490s. 'Cause America was discovered.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "And then my last job was at a Taco Bell Express, but then it became a full Taco Bell and, I don't know, I couldn't keep up.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "At my foster home I never had a desk, so it's like... I don't mean that I didn't like my foster home. I did like it. I just didn't have a desk there.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, like a favorite month. Like, I liked April when I was seven.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Erin is just weird. How many pillows do you sleep on at night?", "c": ["Dwight", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Other than the fact that he dated Angela, I don't think he is a snappy dresser.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "What? Sorry. About Angela. Did you say he dated Angela?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, I asked for pickles on my burger, and there are only, like, five or six. Can I get some more pickles?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "In the foster home, my hair was my room.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I'll have what she's having.", "c": ["Restaurant patron"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Her milk is coming in. She's getting uncomfortable.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Same thing happens with my cows if I don't tend them frequently enough. You gotta milk them, or else they'll moo like crazy.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Really? Fine. Let your breasts explode. Three squeezes and I would drain you.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I just like the way it feels. Just relax, okay? This is like the Cadillac of pumps.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "We're both girls. Who cares?", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "God, Oscar, will you keep your pants on? It's easy.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "'Michael, can I have an advance on my paycheck, because a Mrs. Fields Cookies just opened up at the mall!'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "'Sorry, Gabe, but that show hasn't been on in many cookies.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "that 115-pound moonbeam over there named Erin Hannon", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I know about Angela. I know that you were engaged to her and that you were sleeping with her. Michael told me.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Did you sleep with Phyllis or Kelly or Pam? Maybe all together?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I should probably get involved in this, but I think my energy is better spent on the Cookie Monster issue.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "'Hey, Erin, you look delicious! I mean, beautiful.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I'm going to have to suspend you without pay for two days. You can't just suspend someone from work. Yeah, you're right. You know what? You're suspended too, Jim.", "c": ["Gabe", "Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Wait, what? I was just slow-clapping your no-nonsense decision-making.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "'C' is for suspension.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "That's like... That's... That's like Mr. & Mrs. Smith crap.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Everyone here knows that I can't and won't keep a secret.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "It's the kind of thing you wish you could have annulled.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Sometimes the heart doesn't know what it wants until it finds what it wants.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "And I gotta take this bad attitude and I gotta go home and I got to adjust it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I kneel before you. Humbly taking your hand upon which I kiss to show my contrition.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I mean, yeah, my chest is not naturally hairless, and my parents pay my credit card bill.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Like that girl Precious in Precious, Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Or cookies!", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "'Guys, I'm now going to apologize for the mess that we're in, because corporate told me to. I just want you to know, I laugh like a crazy person.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "'I have to go back to the zoo to the stick insect exhibit.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "'I say ciao 'cause I'm fancy from Tallahassee.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "She's old enough to be your mom, for one thing, and she's, like, three feet tall, and she wears pioneer women clothing, and I don't think she's ever pooped in her life.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Andy, his butt looks big in those khakis. Oh, I like his butt. You said butt. You tricked me.", "c": ["Michael", "Erin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "And the Count! Nailed him. Nailed him! Good work, Cookie Monster.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Buenos dias, erin. Buenos dias, miguel. Hello, dunder-mifflin. No, no, no, no. Solamente, en espa\u00f1ol, por favor.", "c": ["Erin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "I believe that every man, woman, and child in this country Should learn how to speak spanish. They are our neighbors to the south, And to cancun.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Buenos diaz, dwight! Guten tag, herr michael.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "I don't understand why michael Is wasting his time with spanish. I have it on very good authority That within 20 years, Everyone will be speaking german. Or a chinese-german hybrid.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Michael's having a hard time with the gender part of spanish. So I told him to mark everything With the international symbol for gender. And, um... I should have been more specific. Your office is full of genitalia.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Eso es lo que dice el. 'that's what he says'? Damn it.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Yo soy cancun. Uhh!", "c": ["Michael", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "'I just delivered a baby. They didn't offer me a guarantee.' Yeah, or maybe we don't even need that.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "If you want people To put the best face on something, Why would you get two people Who probably have never cut the face Off of anything in their lives?", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Did somebody order a hooker over here?", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "You look exactly alike. Oh, no, we're actually married. We're not brother and sister. I have a sense about these things. All right. You have some ancestors in common... Somewhere back. I knew it. You should see their baby.", "c": ["Donna", "Jim", "Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Those don't really count. We're thinking more ethnic and racial minorities. Come here. Come here. Ten seconds ago, this guy was driving a forklift. Okay? Now, all of a sudden, he's cinderella of the office.", "c": ["Toby", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "White people, right? I don't know if she was white. Well, you can kind of tell from the voice. Yeah.", "c": ["Darryl", "Kelly"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "I could be the indian julia roberts. That's not-- she's--okay.", "c": ["Kelly", "Darryl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "It's subtle. That's how it works. I show her an image that turns her on. And then she looks at me, then she looks at the image, Then back at me, then back at the image. Soon, she doesn't know what is me, What is the image. She just knows that she's turned on.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "What was that printer we were looking at? [awkward silence where nobody responds]", "c": ["Donna", "Jim", "Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "But I work in the nightlife industry. I get hit on all the time. In my 20s, it would have been annoying. In my late 20s, I find it really flattering.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Don't act like you understood anything that guy said. Good luck, wingman.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Indian guys always wear their cell phones Outside their pants. It's so dorky. Oh, no, no. That's not dorky. Look, it's easily accessible. Boom, like this. 911, hello. Scranton strangler's in the house. Inside the house.", "c": ["Kelly", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "You ever notice you can only ooze two things: Sexuality and pus.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Maybe she's just pushing her breasts together To make them look bigger. Like that?", "c": ["Kevin", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Actually, ran the numbers on this, And in this case, it makes more financial sense To gain money.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "As her if she wants a mint. If she says no, then she is not interested. She does not like him.", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "'cause I stopped by your desk like 15 times a day. I was after your money. Well, the joke was on you.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "This girls was really rude to me at the mall. So I created a fake I.M. Account From a hot guy at her high school, And now I'm trying to make her anorexic. Tell her everyone in home room thinks she's fat. Oh, that is so good.", "c": ["Ryan", "Kelly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Do you think you're treated differently Because of your race? Would you ask that same question if I was white? We're so in. 'we'? When I become executive, I'm gonna make ryan manager.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "If you'd have told me this morning That today I'd be creating a monster Capable of my own destruction, I'd have thought you were referring To the bull moose and I are trying to reanimate.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Do you like mints? Yes. I carry mints with me sometimes. You ever tried those? Oh, I haven't tried those. No. They're good. You want one? Sure.", "c": ["Jim", "Donna"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "What sort of movie would rudy have been If he had just stopped, given up, After two rejections? Would have been a lot shorter. Probably been a lot funnier. But it would have ultimately been a disappointment.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Indians migrated from the caucuses region of europe. Therefore, technically, she is caucasian. You're welcome, america.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "I never noticed that before. Sometimes my bangs cover it. Yeah. I don't want to be offensive but, uh, May I ask you what that means? I do find that offensive, actually.", "c": ["Michael", "Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "This is hide tohsi hasagawa. He would like to apply for The sabre minority executive training program 'print in all colors' initiative. Dwight, what are you doing? Helping heal america In a dramatic fashion In the 11th hour.", "c": ["Dwight", "Toby", "Hide"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "In japan, heart surgeon, number one. Steady hand.", "c": ["Hide"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "You know, when I tore my scrote, I was, uh... I was seeing this really hot urologist about it, And thought she was into me. But now I think she was just doing a bunch of stuff To bill my hmo.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "I have your baguette.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "They're going to be pretty pleased in tallahassee That I snagged an indian for the program. She'll be the first. The program's mostly black. It's almost too black. That didn't sound right.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Just once, I would like to be a puppet master And have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "You were right. About what? You were right. I'm sorry. No, no. No. I'm sor-- no.", "c": ["Donna", "Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Chump"}, {"t": "Well, you know what? Joke's on you. 'cause I know morse code. Ha! Yeah. That's what we're doing. In our very limited free time And with our very limited budget, We went and got a nanny and then we went out And took a class on a very outmoded And very unnecessary form of communication just so We could talk about you in front of you.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "It all started when dwight was tapping his foot Against the leg of his desk. When I asked him to stop, he said, 'I will when you lose the baby weight.'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Very well. I must have imagined it. I apologize.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Jim. Are you clicking a detonator? - It's a pen. - Michael, come on.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "They're going great. I, uh... We're just clicking on every level. Emotionally and sexually and...Orally", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "* and I like it * Who enjoys the weekends?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "She has a pilates butt. But we need to find something to do this weekend Beside have sex. Did I say that? Yes, I did.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Okay, you get out of here, big dog.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, stanley doesn't help with anything.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Room enough for three.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Because when your super hot girlfriend says, 'I wanna go to mount pocono,' You go to mount pocono and you do her. And we screwed. Whoops. Tmi.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "You know what, kelly? This is the real world. Not the real world: Scranton.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Some diner? It was the starlight diner. It's, it's in a life magazine spread About americana.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I said it on the second date. - Mm. - That seems...Quick. Even for lesbians.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Does she keep her phone locked around you, michael? Does she watch how much she drinks around you, michael? Does she leave the room when she takes phone calls? Does she keep perfume in her purse? Does she shower before sex? Does she shower after sex? Does she-- - yeah, she does all that.", "c": ["Kelly", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Why didn't you just say that, pam? Michael, do not let your imagination Run out of control. Well, that's easy for you to say. You have a bad imagination. It's stupid.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I live in a fantasy world. - You do? - Yes, jim, I do.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "But you didn't believe any of this was true Five minutes ago. That's what makes it so wrong.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "$100 a day, plus expenses. I'll give you $50. Money's no object.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "You might not like what I find. Okay. And you might not like how I find it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "My doctor told me to cut out hot dogs. We all got problems.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Two years ago, Andy blamed the warehouse for a late shipment That he forgot to process. We got yelled at pretty bad. Almost lost my job, And I was mad as hell at the time. But I said, 'darryl, just wait. he's a fool, there's gonna be an opportunity. Just be patient.'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "All cases are solved with logic. The only logical way to find out If donna is a cheater is to seduce her, Bring her to orgasm, then call michael And tell him the sad news.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "It's never too early for ice cream, jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, So this is mayonnaise and black olives.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "It's comfort food, all right? God.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Otherwise this thing is gonna spiral out of amok.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "You're right, I ruin everything. And I've known some wonderful women. Holly, carol, jan. Helene. - Helene? - My mother. - Oh. My mother, helene.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Ah! Ah... - You okay? - Yeah, I'm good. Hey, you know an exercise for two people That uses the whole body? Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about. Tractor pulling.", "c": ["Dwight", "Donna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "One thing you need to know about me, I don't quit until something tears or pops.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Tomorrow's fertilizer, am I right?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "We both know why I'm here: To see...You...Naked... While...I'm...Naked.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Who eats eight protein bars? People who don't trust egg whites.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "What she actually said was, 'what is with him? He is crazy. I'm coming over there to talk to him.' And this was after I have no other recourse But to tell her and gym security That you had sent me there to see if she was cheating. Also, I joined the gym. You'll be billed monthly.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "You work at an adult arcade. You could have any man you want.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Well, you are boner-ific.", "c": ["Donna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Poop my pants.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.73, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I don't have a plan exactly. More of a loose structure. Gives me freedom to improvise. It's like jazz.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "How about, andy is a problem and we must eliminate him?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Claire's? Zales? Ricky's? Earrings earrings earrings? Fancy girl? Platinum cat? Where?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "So there I am, minding my own business, And darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by andy And go like this. Darnell's a chump. I would have done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "It's cece. She's never gonna do anything wrong. - Isn't that something? - Wow.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Yes. Yes, I desperately want to speak with you About my sex life with jim.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Who the hell is this? - I don't know who he is. - God! Lowest of the low. That guy. Just a notch above toby.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "That's good for five bucks at dunkin' donuts. Any dunkin' donuts.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "Spice girls are opening for weird al. Front row.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I don't wanna prank anymore. Things get real. It's not funny. I'm just gonna be good, stay in my room, Go to church, Try to do one nice thing per day. I do not wanna prank anymore.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "I'm the mistress?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "The Cover Up"}, {"t": "The first time I threw mine away, I thought it was an ant trap.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "you know, the things you turn over and it moos like a cow thing", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "And the third time, I did it out of spite.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "You say radon is silent but deadly and then you expect me not to make farting noises with my mouth?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "And if I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I would kill Bin Laden and then Toby.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Curve the bullet like in my favorite James McAvoy film Wanted.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "What does Bin Laden... Is there a curtain rod in the room?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "How about make-believe land has anything you want?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "You line them all up, you take one bullet, shoot them all through the throat at the same time.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Phyllis, you're Hitler, come up here. Toby, you're Toby. Andy, you're Bin Laden.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "It worked!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Despera-Dough, Witchy-Womanilla. Why do they do this?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "After his last breakup, he ate 40,000 calories in three hours.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "You probably shouldn't keep a baby up that late.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "And if you get stuck and you don't know what to do, make a random sound effect. Okay, farting noise, whatever.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Michael, nice tie or something.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Cake It To The Limit, that's my favorite.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Alleged contract.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I will do legal jujitsu on you.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "See, don't even need to make contact. The law will do it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I'd like to see a stool sample.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "It happened to Tom Hanks in Big.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Exactly. It happened in Big.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Billy Joel Rock Band. That exists?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Is it wrong to keep seeing her? Depends on who you ask. I mean, if you ask her husband or you took a random poll, yeah, it's wrong.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I ask everyone in the room, 'Are you in a relationship?'", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "And in Paris, it is rude for a woman to have less than four lovers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "On her diet.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "He's a sports guy. He's scummy. Dog fighting, drugs, they spit.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "My name's Andy Bernard and I am a cuckold.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "You're Ali Larter, I'm Beyonc\u00e9. I am Beyonc\u00e9 always.", "c": ["Kelly", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I can't wait to see this jerk who is making me cheat on his wife. I should punch him in the nose for what he's making me do to her.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "And now coaching third base with two arms, two legs and a heart capable of feeling pain...", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "You were supposed to be the lookout. Yeah, well, it's really warm in here. It's like a sleeping bag.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I just hate that part of the job, you know? The power dynamic.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I actually designed that chart. Kind of hoping it catches on.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Finally, there's a provision here in the occurrence that the child is born an old man, a la Benjamin Button.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "...unless we're unplugged... and wake up in the future.", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I have it buried very deeply, and I don't want to dig past a certain someone to get it.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I bet it's like, 'Hey, Donna, why don't you wash the dishes? High five, Donna.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "That was a euphemism.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Better than most horses.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Those lumps are cats, and those cats have names, and those names are Amber, Milky Way, Dianne and Lumpy.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Do you understand how rare that is in nature?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "No, no, but we're gay for baseball.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I just looked a man in the eyes and I shook his hand. All the time I was thinking, 'I'm sleeping with your wife.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "You know who does that? James freaking Bond.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Well, then, it wouldn't be the first time I stole something away from Coach Shane.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I'm awful, aren't I? Yeah, that's pretty... I'm an awful guy. Ooh!", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "That is a dangerous game, friend-o.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I don't even know why you're screaming at me right now. I'm not screaming. I'm not screaming.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "You know what? I think you're attractive and I want to sleep with you. What about Kelly? You read my mind.", "c": ["Ryan", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Schrute sperm are strong, but they're no match for a grown Schrute man.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "He don't give an F about nothing.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think about it when I'm trying to fall asleep at home.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Because a motel is dirty, and it is sexy. Like me and like Donna.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I could have stopped him.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Stop kissing me. It's not in the contract.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "And it was either living with myself or being happy. And I picked the former.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I vow to never listen to my bodily instincts ever again.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "I'm talking about the Sabre printers that catch on fire. Oh! Okay, I was talking about...", "c": ["Reporter", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "\"The Office\" The Chump"}, {"t": "Michael Scott, as seen on TV. I saw you on the news and I want to pinch your tiny wiener.", "c": ["Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Oh! Pac-Man, I thought you were a girl.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "What's number one? Oh? That teacher who was wrongfully accused of being a pedophile. Now, we cannot let the pedophile win again.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Get it up. That's what... Let's do it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Really? A baby otter? Okay, count me in as 'Who cares?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "It can't even stand up. It's trying to stand up. There he goes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Jo, I think that I know what happened. I'm not sure you do, teddy bear. Well, now I think I might not.", "c": ["Michael", "Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Put your hand up, Norma Rae. If you say anything, so help me God, I'll break off the temples of your glasses and stick them in your eye sockets.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "The Bernards, for generations, have silenced whistleblowers. It's how we made all our money. Woody Guthrie wrote a song about us. Old Mister Bernard, Who have you silenced today?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "When Mama was working as a prison guard, and something went missing, she'd ask one question, 'What do we do when we find the guilty party?' And if they said, 'Come down on them with that swift hammer of justice,' innocent. A clear conscience don't need no mercy. But if they said, 'Officer Bessie, well, they may have had a reason.' Blah, blah, blah, blah... Well, nine times out of 10, that's the anus they checked.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "We should give them a one-way ticket to Montego Bay. Where they keep all the al-Qaeda. Uh, that's Guantanamo Bay. Yes.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot, Big Brother. You're with Big Brother?", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "I already got to yours, Kev. No, that's cool. Sometimes I run. I'm a runner.", "c": ["Dwight", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Are you referring to alchemy?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "I swear on the graves of my parents who aren't even dead yet.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "I was talking to this girl at a bar. Oh, no, no, no. I think she could sense my sadness. And I found out too late that she was a copyeditor at the Trib.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "This is just a mystery novel that I've been working on. I know what it is. I skimmed the first chapter. I'm just curious, why would a man who hates people want to have a relationship with a maid? I don't know... The way I look at it, there's only one of two reasons. He knows a secret about her that she doesn't know herself. Or he wants to use her services to mop up after a murder.", "c": ["Jim", "Jo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "My mind is going a mile an hour. That fast?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "I weirdly know exactly what you're saying to me. So, I'll see you in Meredith's van in five minutes. Okay, you didn't need to actually say that.", "c": ["Jim", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "It is so boring where we work. I mean, it's as interesting as a morgue. It might be less interesting than a morgue. Hey, hey, it's as interesting as a morgue.", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "I spend the whole day talking. I mean, I video chat, I skype, I text, I tweet, I phone, I woof. Woof is a site that I'm launching to be the last word in social networking. For just $12.99 a month, Woof links up all your communication portals, so you are always within reach. It's part of the dog pack, as I call it.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "I just sent myself a woof. Ryan, you have a woof on line one. Thank you, Erin. Woof!", "c": ["Ryan", "Erin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "All you need is one scapegoat. Uh, if you turn me in, I'm turning in Darryl. That's just what we need, another black man in prison, you know?", "c": ["Ryan", "Darryl"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Basement office? You mean like a lair?", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Are you gonna kill me?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Make them an offer they can't refuse. No, on second thought, lowball them.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "And? You did it. What? Based on what? Just all the evidence. And it really seems like it was you.", "c": ["Dwight", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Can we all agree to say that it was Andy for now and sit with it, see how it feels?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "My favorite restaurant closed down. Oh. I hate that. And my new favorite restaurant sucks. I bought a video camera last year and I was looking at the tapes, and there were only, like, 12 minutes that I felt was worth taping. The whole year. And most of that was just birds in my condo complex.", "c": ["Michael", "Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "It has not been a blockbuster year for me financially. My Blockbuster stock is down.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "But I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to talk about Suck It. Suck It... Gabe, I told you all about the printers.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Okay, look, I get it, people. I'm the lame IT guy and everybody hates me. Hey, listen, man, you can't take it personally. You call me 'man'? I just said my name, just now. Did you forget it already? No, sport.", "c": ["Nick", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "We liked the last guy, Sadiq, because he kept to himself. And we also thought he might have been a terrorist.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Inner-city kids use computers for two things, games and porn. So, good luck wasting your life, Lurch.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.3, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "I saw all of your hard drives. And guess what? You're not a photographer. And you definitely can't fit into a size two. Darryl, man, you're on Facebook. Why have you been telling people you're not on Facebook? People want to be your friend, man.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "When I was growing up, there was nothing better than being a big old business tycoon. And I thought I'd break that glass ceiling and be a hero to all those little girls out there. And they'd make a Barbie out of me. I hate that I sell cheap printers. I do. But if I have to go out there in front of the press and make one of them public apology recalls, I mean, that's all I'll ever be remembered for. Nobody will want to play with my Barbie.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Airplane II.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "I own a one-eighth share in a rental property down in Pittston. Well, I'm one-eighths proud of you.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Like Buckingham Palace.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Look, I didn't want houses and schools to burn down and children to die. Does that make me a hero? No, it does not. Well, it doesn't make me the worst guy in the world, either. It does!", "c": ["Andy", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "Okay. Hey, you could transfer Holly back from Nashua. Let me see what I can do.", "c": ["Michael", "Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 6, "e": 26, "et": "Whistleblower"}, {"t": "I got West Nile virus. Lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected, even though I peed on it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "And J.C. We call him Blorville, because he looks like a black Orville Redenbacher.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Gabe is awesome. He has accomplished so much career-wise and height-wise.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Thank God he's my boss because I would not have said yes to a first date if I didn't have to.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "So right now I am sitting on a nice beach at Cape Cod, gazing out across the whitecaps. Oh, look, it's a humpback whale. How pretty. He's eating Gabe.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "From now on, if you're hot, sit on an ice pack. Well, what if you're cold? Like you'd ever be cold, Kevin.", "c": ["Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Hey, Dwight, I don't know if you heard, but we're supposed to be drinking out of weird backpacks instead of cups, like regular people. Oh, you did hear.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Those of us who are busy require hands-free hydration.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Then burn the list.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "You guys, I'm, like, really smart now. You don't even know. You could ask me, 'Kelly, what's the biggest company in the world?' And I'd be, like, 'Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,' giving you the exact right answer.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Tiny. Darryl Hanah.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "You cool to just drink it, or should I drive all the way back?", "c": ["Luke"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "The new guy sucks. Calls me 'The Nard man.' I'm the 'Nard dog,' okay? Nard man is my father.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "My favorite movies are Citizen Kane and The Boondock Saints.", "c": ["Luke"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "The bigger the key chain, the more powerful the man. That's right. The janitor said that.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "I wouldn't know for sure 'cause I don't have a trained ear. That's why I have to use one of these.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "I was just gonna put a couple keys on every day until Christmas. Then his pants would have fallen down, which was a little gift to me, but...", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "So unprofessional, Mrs. Halpert.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Yeah, strawberries are ripe.", "c": ["Luke"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Turn off the Chumbawamba and scram, twerp.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "It's national ice cream afternoon.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "The last time I saw Luke was the opening day of Ace Ventura II, and that was '95. So, yes, 15 years on the dot.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Anyway, I lost him in a forest.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Don't don't bother Luke. Got it.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "'Jo, they're creating a hostile work environment. Stop them.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Well, Dwight, he wiped his butt. Is that close enough for you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Or what if they just hired the littlest kid and a 50-year-old guy who was a murderer?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "God, when he needed help on earth, who did he hire? Jesus Christ, his son.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "I'm just saying, why does God get to do something that I don't?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "He should not be punished because he is related to me and bad at what he does!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "And I was actually gonna be wearing jeans. And I'd point to them, right?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Soy ice cream? Did you get real ice cream? Or enough for everyone? No, man. There was no list. But I got bagel chips.", "c": ["Luke", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Oh, my favorite part of an ice cream party. The bagel chips.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Clutch cream run, bro.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "I don't know if you can tell, but he's mildly upset.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "This is like The Blair Witch Hunt Project.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "I'm reconsidering sending them back anyway.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Lower yourself, Gabe. I don't wanna be having a conversation with your crotch.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "You know why? 'Cause he's a screw-up. He can swim in my pool, but he can't come in my house.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Well, this office is my pool and my house is my house, and I just want my nephew to work in my pool.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "I will cover his ass like moss on a Mississippi tree stump.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Okay, that's weird. I was just hitting 'door close.' What? There we go. Well... Good.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "I got 56 ounces of fluid in my bladder! And we have to establish a pee corner.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Not on Oscar's head. All right. Luke, come on. Stop it. What? I'm stopping it. That's what you said.", "c": ["Michael", "Luke"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "I am going to count down from five. Five. Five. Four. Four. I'm not kidding. Three. Three. Two. Two. One. Give... Okay.", "c": ["Michael", "Luke"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "You are going to learn to be more professional, Luke! [SPANKING SOUNDS] That's what you're going to do, Luke!", "c": ["Michael", "Luke"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "That was awesome. Texas justice.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Finally, a kid who's not talking about Betty White.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Well, you know, they don't call me 'The Bart Simpson of Scranton' for nothing. Do they call you that? They do call me that.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Also, there's pee on the floor. Oh. Of course there is.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "I don't know how Ringling Brothers do it. Night after night, town after town, all across America. You would think they'd be sick of each other by now, but, clearly, they make it work.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm really looking forward to working with you, Michael.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Nepotism"}, {"t": "We signed Ceecee for the staycare, it's on the other side of town", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Well, I guess it's not an evil idea, It's just a regular idea, but there's no Good laugh for a regular idea", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Were you painting in the dark?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "These are actually forks and knives from the break room", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "To a child's imagination that's mister fork, And lieutenant knife, and miss fork", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "And a soy sauce packet. That shouldn't have been in there. I'm embarrassed", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "We come fully equipped with a restroom, Feeding trough, play bucket", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "No one. The door locks from the outside. Escape is impossible", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Prove it", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "This is the worst! You are the worst. I hate looking at your face. I wanna smash it!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Worse than hell", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "did your mom ever see you naked?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "So you can molest me?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Boycott the steamtown mall! Everyone, you heard me. Cancel all your business with the steamtown mall!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "America's one big mall", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "the walk from the yogurt shop To my car, after I drop My daughter off on Sunday afternoons", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "He has a lot of issues, and he's stupid", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "I can't do this. I don't have this sales gene or whatever it is", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "I guess that's fair", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "While using the 'f' word?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "they're appearancist!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "You guys know me, you know that I'm... Not one for fancy things", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "to get his blood pressure at the rite aid", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "they started taking pictures of me With their mobile phones", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "You need to go back there, and you need to Pretty woman their asses", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "What did I say? I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Did you assume that I would automatically side With the rich, snobby shop owner?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "One hour. We've done one hour", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Be careful what you wish for, Toby", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "this sex worker, who is the protagonist... That can't be right", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "big mistake. Huge.", "c": ["Andy", "Kelly"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "I'm the office administrator!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "When I was sitting at the table, Eating my penis... I mean peas", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "I was probed. By an alien life force. An a.L.F. Alf", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "You never see the lower half, But there's a lower half", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "$41,000, I think... $41,500", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Before me stands your coworker, Dwight Kurt Schrute. Dwight, show them all sides, turn around", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Wait, less matching to appear more rich?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Can I say, 'good month?'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "And I was raised by wolves. I was 25 years old before I saw my first human being", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Wait, is it a full moon tonight?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Disposable cameras are fun, although it does seem wasteful And you don't ever get to see your pictures", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Jeff was my mother's boyfriend, Who she married... So her husband and your stepdad... Yeah, I guess I never thought of it that way", "c": ["Michael", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "They took the pitcher Out of the game, and I felt really bad Because the pitcher wasn't going to be able to play With his friends anymore", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "I was afraid I would find him In the park playing with another kid... To find a kid he liked better", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "You couldn't help your marriage", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "if I can pull this off, It will be the scam of all scams. And yet, very helpful to everyone", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "at risk for homicidal behavior", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Say that I'm lying, or say I have the job. Make a definitive statement, Gabe", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Statements of such a nature, While they have their place, are overused In a competitive business environment", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "You play the opponent, not the cards", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "The bloodstained hands", "c": ["Store Clerk"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "It was beet juice. I'm a beet farmer", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "You made a big mistake! Huge!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Why is Angela taller than Dwight?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Counseling"}, {"t": "Did you write this? - No. - Who did? - Stephen sondheim. - Who is he?", "c": ["Unknown office workers"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "What the hell is happening?", "c": ["Unknown office worker"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "a wee bit of viral marketing, gov'nor!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "I auditioned for this! When did the cast list go up? Like a month ago. Really? They didn't call me!", "c": ["Andy", "Cast member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Who am I playing?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Andy? [silence]", "c": ["Cast member", "Andy"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Two comps for m'lady and her Gabe.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It's so powerful, even a lot of men can't resist a man singing show tunes.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "That's awful. Everyone's gonna miss that guy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "What kind of terrible rumor monger is Gabe? He is woefully ill informed, all right?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Last time I went to the theater, A man dressed as a cat sat on my lap.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "They had to bring in a ringer. This guy's, like, world class.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "You're that friend. I'm going to see your play.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Noishe! And scene.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Angela? Don't like her anymore. Not attracted to her anymore. Just contractually obligated to make a baby with her.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Well, there's a lot of gray area in that clause. Do you want to re-mediate?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "My parents used to scramble to find babysitters So they could take my little brother to do stuff.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Maybe I have a niece my family never told me about.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Neiche!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "I did, because I am being the bigger man, And balloons are bigger than flowers.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Are you the guy that did an entire law & order episode For his audition?", "c": ["Unknown person"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "I've been trying to get in the babysitting game forever. The 13-year-olds in this town Have a complete monopoly. It's almost like a babysitters' club.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Hey, I think this guy playing sweeney Todd is my plumber.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "This guy's a world-class actor. He doesn't daylight as your plumber.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Apparently, the director discovered him doing karaoke. It's his first play. He didn't even audition.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "If we don't listen to the overture, We won't recognize the musical themes When they come back later.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Excuse me, I think you may be in the wrong seats.", "c": ["Unknown theatergoer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "I work with that guy.", "c": ["Unknown office worker"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "There's gum on the seat, And now it's on my work skirt. I have to go change. Too bad I'm not gonna explain anything that you miss.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "His name's Andy. He's a terrible salesman.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Michael! Shelby Thomas weems, the director. I promise you That if you keep auditioning With a similar gusto... We are going to find a production With a role for Michael Scott.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Why are you dressed like a seed catalog model? These are just my dirty old gardening clothes. They were all that I had in my car.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "No, no, don't put cece on the phone, Because she can't talk yet.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Just checking my emails. See if I got any last-minute 'break a legs' Or 'I still love you' type texts.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, in this ham-fisted production Of sweeney Todd, The real terror comes from the vocal performances.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "There's a little bird uttering around. Do hope it ceases chirping.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Oh, it appears the bird was in mine own pocket This whole time. He's gone to sleep now. I closed his beak.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "I've killed it! I'm a murderer! Just like you, sweeney Todd! See? It all connects.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Not that I know you're a murderer. My character doesn't know that yet. But I'm suspicious, Because of all the razors That you have laying around.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Sounds like cece.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "I just didn't think you guys were gonna see us. We were just gonna stop by and then get some ice cream And then go home.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Babies shouldn't have ice cream, by the way.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Well, we're never leaving the house again. Not together.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "That was more horrifying than nunsense. All that singing got in the way Of some perfectly good murders.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Mmm! Fruit is so much better when it's dried. I've already eaten, like, 30 apricots.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "How's the toilet? Silent.", "c": ["Darryl", "Plumber"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "This plumber has pipes.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "You didn't have to boo him. Well, he was getting a lot of applause, And I just didn't think it was indicative Of how people were really feeling.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Boo! I appreciate the feedback.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Okay, kill me! Just kill me! Kill me! Ah, blood everywhere.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "Contractually, we're obligated to have sex. Well, I won't tell if you don't. I will tell. I will tell the mediator.", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "That's broth, Gabe.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "I'll see you soup. [giggles]", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "I think we have, like, a gift bottle of irish cream. Yeah? We could put that in orange juice. Get it. Yeah? Let's get our juice on.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "I booed someone tonight. I have no filter. And if I thought you were terrible, I would have booed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "But I thought that you were exactly awesome. No better, no worse.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "I did not say that to make you feel good. I just said it. Total integrity.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "In the criminal justice system, The people are represented by two separate But equally important groups, The police who investigate the crimes", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Play"}, {"t": "We don't go with that man. I've seen several men go with that man and none come back. We've lost friends... We don't know what he does with them.", "c": ["Day Laborers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "I pick up day laborers and tell them that they'll get paid at 6:00 p.m. At 5:45, a certain I.N.S. Agent, by the name of Mose Schrute, throws them in the back of a van, drops them off in the middle of Harrisburg and tells them it's Canada.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Scranton. Y... before that, la Philadelphia.", "c": ["Day Laborer", "Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Yeah. I got stung up my dress. Poor hornet.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "If he chooses correctly, he'll conquer the hornets. And if he doesn't? He'll die. What? Beg your pardon?", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "When did the phrase 'do or die' become so corrupted?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Visual: Nate attempting to deal with hornets using increasingly inappropriate tools while everyone watches in horror", "c": ["Nate", "Office Workers"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Good morning, Erin. Any mustaches, I mean messages?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "There are many reasons a man would wear a fake mustache to work. He is a fan of the outrageous. He loves to surprise! He loves other things as well.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "It's a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time, and she rocks harder than anyone alive.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "You mean cancer? What? No way. No. Definitely not. Not cancer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "It's just good to catch a Michael train of thought early before it derails and destroys the entire town.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "A cold sore is herpes. What?", "c": ["Meredith", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "I know tons and tons of people who have herpes. I have it myself. That's what it is.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "I've never seen herpes on you. 'Cause it's on my genitals, genius.", "c": ["Michael", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "You have a penis?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Michael, you're at least 46. Why 'at least'? If you're guessing 46, just say 46.", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "This is what you get when you treat your body like an outhouse.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "The number one sexually transmitted disease is ignorance.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "I feel like one of those old-timey sailors with VD. (IN GRUFF VOICE) Eh, it's me own darn fault. Girl in every port!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "What port? The Jan port? The Holly port?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Now, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "I have a disease for which there is no known cure that has been sexually transmitted to me. Oh, no! I can't even say it. H-I-R-P-E-E-S.", "c": ["Michael", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "What do you mean 'again'? You're always asking for our attention. Well, maybe like a year ago. Mmm. Seems recent.", "c": ["Andy", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Oh! When you got your new phone, that's when you asked for everyone's attention. World Cup. That's what I was thinking. You kept announcing scores.", "c": ["Oscar", "Stanley", "Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "This is Holly. No, this is Holly. No... This is Michael Scott. Busted.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Were they in the missionary position?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "We would have twins. I don't think we'd have kids. Mmm-hmm. We would be married. Michael, I've been dating A.J. For a year and a half now.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "You cried at that tag line for a movie you made up. 'He had no arms or legs. He couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation.'", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "How do I do it? Raise my daughter, work as director of office purchasing for this hospital and release an album of Doris Day covers on my own label? If I knew, I'd tell you.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "(SINGING) Fry it up in a pan, Never, never, never let you forget you're a man. Love that commercial. I don't understand the reference.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Now I'm gonna show you another picture of perfectly normal genitalia. (ALL EXCLAIM IN DISGUST) Oh, my God! Yeah, sure, it's got some herpes on it. But you know what? It's just as normal as anyone else's.", "c": ["Andy", "Office Workers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Well, if there was anything exciting about it, it was because we both knew it was wrong. Because we worked together. No. Okay, imagine there's a princess who falls for a guy beneath her station, and the queen doesn't like this at all... Am I the princess? No, I'm the princess. And the queen.", "c": ["Jan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "(SINGING) How was school? It was cool. What did you learn? What did I learn? You might have learned shapes, or blocks, or clocks, or colors, or you might have learned that we're all sisters and brothers... I have herpes.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Just admit that your baby was a mistake. Whoa! Hey, our baby was not a mistake. She was a surprise.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "You know, I don't know if I trust Jan's judgment. She... Jan knows paper. No, not paper. Relationships.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Who are you? I'm Michael. We dated for a while. I don't think so. Michael? Oh, hey! Dwight, would you take my grandmother for a walk while I talk to the real Helene?", "c": ["Michael", "Helene", "Grandmother"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "What's the safest way to go skiing? Don't ski. (ALL LAUGHING)", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Why would you choose a pencil, Andy? Well, I'm not gonna use my penis, Oscar. It's not exactly hard right now, anyway.", "c": ["Oscar", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Come on, give it a rest, pencil (BLEEP). I'm doing this for you, Meredith!", "c": ["Stanley", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "I think that for you to have come here even expecting that we could have a conversation like this shows how self-deluded you are. Michael, your memory has failed you greatly.", "c": ["Helene"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "You didn't call my office and ask them where I was? No! (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) That's so... 'Cause the receptionist told me that a man called, but he would only say that he was my ex-Iover.", "c": ["Michael", "Carole"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "My good sir, nothing would make me happier than to hand you the hand of the hand once in my hand.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "You proposed to me on our fourth date. Well, I believe in love at first sight. Well, so do I, but we didn't love each other at first, either.", "c": ["Carole", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Someone died in the upstairs bathroom, didn't they? No.", "c": ["Dwight", "Carole"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Are you crying? No, I'm just sweating. I don't know what's got you upset, but my advice is stop crying. I'm not crying. I'm sweating.", "c": ["Darryl", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "I have no idea what his problem is. It's just my standard advice. It's good advice, right?", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "This is Holly Flax. I can't come to the phone right now, but please leave a message at the sound of the tiny truck backing up.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Today, I ended up seeing a lot of the women that I used to date, and in my mind, they were all great. And then when I actually saw them, it was mostly a freak show.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "I remember every second of us. And talking to you today, I don't feel for them anything like what I feel for you. It's... I didn't joke with any of them. I joked with you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "We once sucked face in public as part of an office presentation to destroy the stigma about gay kissing. Do you recall?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "I'm gonna need a list of every man you've ever had sex with. I'm talking train stations, men's rooms... Flower shops, fireworks celebrations... Fence with a hole in it. Moonlit gondola. Carriage ride through Central Park.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Sex Ed"}, {"t": "Can't beat a horse. A horse is a bike that pedals itself.", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "His ass was on that seat? All right!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "I'm on Sheryl Crow's side in that whole thing, so I feel really weird right now.", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "I had those extra wheels on the back that support you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Michael crashes into car while learning to ride bike", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "You never forget.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "How do I look? Amazing. How do I look? Normal. Ugly.", "c": ["Andy", "Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "It's weird if I come in slightly after.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "He's not 'the' Steve Nash. He's... He's big, though. He's kind of like Scranton's Steve Nash.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "No. No? Nothing? No, Mr. Jock Hipster.", "c": ["Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Big, red mazel tov to the Libster.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "It appears Dan's Sherpa survived to tell the tale... Oh, my God! What? Is Dan okay? No, he died.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Broccoli Rob extended quote about milk awareness song", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "You know, I forget about milk. This is a terrific reminder.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "I was the artsy musical one. In Here Comes Treble, I had four solos, Broccoli Rob had three. Right?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Also, he slept with Pam. No, he didn't.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "That's fizzling. I mean, someone has to start the fizzle.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "You know I have a kid with you, right? Aah!", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "So anyway, she says, 'That is the biggest penis I have ever seen.' And I said, 'I know. That's why I brought you to the penis museum, where tickets are $1,000.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "You are busy! We're in a meeting! What? It's Jim, okay? Yes.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Yes. What'd he say? What did he say? The big gun thing. Stop.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "You don't look reluctant, Michael. You look really eager. No, I don't have time for this. Are you kidding me?", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Not to go all Sherlock Holmes on you, but I can tell by the reflection in your glasses that you're entering points into weightwatchers.com. If you don't enter them immediately, you forget.", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "How much? 60 bucks a session. That's crazy money. I'll take 40.", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "I could swear that guy was a male model.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "It's like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, jumped in the pool, belly-flopped and drowned.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Why don't you go outside and take a shot of insulin and have a nap, okay? Why do you always assume I have diabetes?", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "I could try to seduce him. Oh, my God!", "c": ["Phyllis", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Like the movie. I think you mean The Sting. Paul Newman, Robert Redford. They're bank robbers? Nope. Different movie. It's called The Stinger. The Sting.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Meredith Van Helsing? Van Helsing was a respected professor before he was a vampire killer. Okay. But what is he more famous for?", "c": ["Danny", "Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Hey! That's my mug. You know this isn't real TV, right? Yes.", "c": ["Kevin", "Cameraman", "Kevin"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Please, Mr. President... (falsetto song about little girl asking president to bring troops home)", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "People can't keep their true natures hidden for long, and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Yeah, he is that good-looking. Okay? He's very, very handsome.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! He's making her sell to him.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "That's pandering. And it makes me think you think I'm stupid... It's kind of weird that a grown man is singing from the point of view of a little girl.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "I don't think they usually skate to such bad songs.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "I've never been a desk man. Always traveling on the road.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Manuel, cleano el window.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "I run Google. Larry and Sergey brought me...", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "You smell like a Scorpio.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "I'm going in! I'm going in! Michael! No, Michael, stop it!", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Okay, so you set up this fake company, then you hired this homeless woman to impersonate an executive, to spy on me so that you could copy my sales technique.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "There's no tricks, man. I'm just a good salesman. You wanna copy that? You can't copy that!", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Do you want your life to be better or to be worse or to stay the same? Get out of my way.", "c": ["Michael", "Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "He's like a better-looking Andy. Thanks, Kevin.", "c": ["Kevin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Do you want your life to be better or worse or stay the same? ALL: Stay the same.", "c": ["Michael", "Office"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Couldn't get Out of bed today, Wish the alarm clock Would go away", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "I got a closet full of mes", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Oh, you know, funny, your wife and I went on a few dates.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "She is one of the plain, hearty women of Scranton that make this city great.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "This morning, Danny Cordray stole a sale from me. So what do I do? I go out and I steal Danny Cordray. The sale that mattered, I made. Boom.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Crap. I forgot about Packer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Bullfrog in love song with ribbit sound effects", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "The Sting"}, {"t": "Character trying on someone else's costume without permission", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Character not noticing it wasn't his hot coffee", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Handbag as answer to seven-letter crossword clue", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.0, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Branch on planet Jupiter is up 8,000% in sales", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Stanley immediately leaving at 5:00 despite meeting", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "'Love you' said to Stanley as he leaves", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Kevin saying he looks like Michael Moore as his costume statement", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Erin answering phone 'How can I haunt you today?'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "MacGruber countdown interrupting normal conversation", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Coupon book worth $15,000 in savings requiring spending $200,000", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "If I was the real Scranton strangler, you'd be so strangled by now", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "To my chickens, I'm the Scranton strangler", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Dwight insulting Angela's Olive Oyl costume as his mother", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Jim refusing to put on Popeye costume despite Pam's Olive Oyl", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Jim's talking head about being too old for costumes even as a kid", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "MacGruber explaining sales policies with bomb countdown", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 3.9, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Why don't witches wear panties? To grip the broom", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 3.35, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Where does Dracula like to water ski? Lake Erie", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.75, "im": 2.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Has anyone started calling you Gabe-wad yet?", "c": ["Unknown", "Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Darryl hiding ream of paper in shirt thinking he might get hit", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Michael's talking head about bringing racists to lunch with Darryl", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Oscar explaining coupon book math while everyone ignores him", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Public School is the name of Danny's bar", "c": ["Danny", "Others"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Pam choosing whoever smells most like her father", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Jim and Pam were Romeo and Juliet except Juliet didn't have a great time", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "I'm like an elephant in that way. You know what eleph... this sucks for Jim", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Michael trying to get shy Darryl to come out and embrace being a superstar", "c": ["Michael", "Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Michael being peeved that Darryl went over his head to go behind his back", "c": ["Michael", "Todd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Andy and Kevin telling Danny that Jim and Pam begged them not to go", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin", "Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Kevin and Gabe discussing extremes of human physique", "c": ["Kevin", "Gabe", "Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Kevin teaching Gabe Lady Gaga robot power-down move", "c": ["Kevin", "Gabe", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Danny not remembering if it was two or three dates with Pam", "c": ["Danny", "Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "You can't handle the truth! / Well, that does not sound like me", "c": ["Danny", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Suck it", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Oscar as rational consumer costume", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Michael's Darryl costume with jive talking", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Monster Mash playing during costume show", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 3.55, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Angela as sexy nurse costume reluctantly", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Ouija board spelling A-S-S-E-T for Darryl", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Halpert, you looking for someone to bang your wife?", "c": ["Danny", "Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Erin bobbing for apples and eating them", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Danny calling Pam dorky as reason for not calling back", "c": ["Danny", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Darryl listing what everyone else did for him vs Michael", "c": ["Darryl", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Michael's hat solution for decision making", "c": ["Michael", "Gabe", "Darryl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Andy's Cornell a cappella story interrupting Darryl's problems", "c": ["Andy", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Who doesn't call a dork like that back?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Jim and Pam as Popeye and Olive Oyl doing voices", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "Oscar winning costume contest despite rational consumer concept", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Costume Contest"}, {"t": "I heard your mama has more bacteria per square inch", "c": ["Unknown employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, no, it's just that, if a vampire had to cough, He would do it like this. Right, And ruin their cloaks? Do you have any idea how expensive wool is In Transylvania? 'cause of the euro.", "c": ["Kevin", "Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "They would set up hand-desanitizing stations. A simple bowl at every juncture filled with dirt, vomit, Fecal matter.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "So by that rationale, if I had to sneeze, I should just sneeze on you. Yes. I would welcome it. You're welcome.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "I don't know why everyone doesn't do this. Maybe they have something against living forever.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Top o' the Sunday morning to you. And a top o' the day to you too, sir. I hope you brought your pipes. We're about to smoke the opium of the masses.", "c": ["Andy", "Creed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "I invited everyone in the office Because it's not a day for just Jim Or Pam or the baby or me. It is about us all.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Does the nard dog want nard pups? Yeah. I want a big old litter of nard pups, All jumping around and sucking on the teat. Put 'em in a box, give 'em to my neighbors.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "But I'm the godfather. It is really funny, but you know That can be confusing at a christening, Because you are not the godfather. Are you talking to me?", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Old friend, like, you've known him since kindergarten? No, I met his wife in mommy and me.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Cece is turning out To be a little b-I-t-c-h. And that's not true, But her parents are Ki.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "If you go to Cabo San Lucas, All the prostitutes are from Cabo Corrientes.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "I would like to offer A 4% discount on all Dunder Mifflin Sabre products If you buy a printer at full price", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Somebody needs a change. Right now? Well, she can't bring this up with her.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Cece, no. No, no, no... not on the dress. Cece, stop.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.03, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "We have an extra outfit in the bag. No. There's no extra outfit in the bag. You said you checked it. I did...Say that.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "It's as if they leave my office and they go to another office That sells happiness. And good for them. That's great, because, you know, The paper industry's not gonna last forever.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Okay, 'a, ' \"halbert\"? And, 'b, ' I think a more appropriate statement would be, \"the halberts are hosting an intimate reception For their invited guests.\"", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "For all their generosity of spirit, They password-protect their wireless? Try Jesus. Opus Dei.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "I am feeling this. Call it the Holy spirit or the passion of the Christ. I am loving these people.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, well, Dave is an adorable baby. Davey. Yeah. Wow.", "c": ["Michael", "Doug"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "We're gonna need A loaves and fishes kind of miracle To feed 'em all. Jesus is not your caterer.", "c": ["Doug", "Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "But he should be your caterer, 'cause you're a little angel. Why didn't your parents get you a caterer?", "c": ["Michael", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "They don't think. Don't listen to her. She's just jealous 'cause she doesn't get to come home To someone as cute as you.", "c": ["Angela", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, no, after you. No, I insist. After me. I'm gonna use that one.", "c": ["Andy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "This is not the meal I was promised. I'm going to have no energy for the rest of the day. I canceled my plans to come To this thing, and they repay me with this?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Teach for America girls are way hotter, But they're nuts.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Who takes a kid to Mexico? I would run to Mexico if that's where the sandwiches are.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "What if the moon was your car And Jupiter was your hair brush?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "I think that was sconesy cider, Noted baptism reception critic.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Let's go help Africa. Let's go build an airport. We'll start small. We'll have a carwash. We'll send some cheerleaders to regionals.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, that's just a pick-up scene.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Everybody have their kool-aid? No. Okay, you know what? This is inappropriate.", "c": ["Michael", "Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "You're mean. You're mean girls. Like the movie mean girls. And Kevin and Stanley, If you don't stop worrying so much about what you're gonna put In your gullet, you're gonna die in about a month.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "I guess I'll watch Suzanne's purse and your baby.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey. Is this the bus to Mexico? Yeah! I'll take a shirt. Are you coming? If you'll have me, yes. Heck, yes.", "c": ["Michael", "Youth ministry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "You don't need one to get in. Plus, we can just have it sent to him down in Mexico.", "c": ["Youth minister", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Tell them that I died And I turned into an angel, And, when they feel a breeze In a room with all the windows closed Or that... that chill on the back of their neck, That is just me watching over them.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Tell them that I'm in a meeting.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "I think it's really cool, Michael. I wish I had a job that I could just leave.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Save me an aisle seat, Michael! I'm coming! I will not stand idly by While these Mexican villagers are sick. We're actually building 'em a school. Whatever.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Nobody I know would leave their jobs And friends and families To do manual labor for three months. Well, you know what, everybody thinks that I am crazy, And that tells me that I am the sanest person I know.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Uh, meemaw, where's Cece? I don't know. I lost the purse too.", "c": ["Pam", "Meredith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "How long till we get to Mexico? Well, two days minus how long we've been on the road. 45 minutes? So, like, two days basically.", "c": ["Michael", "Youth minister"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Why aren't they building it themselves? They don't know how. Do we know how? I don't know how.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, I feel like there were so many more people on this bus. There were, like, 200, 300 people before.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Do you smell like a weird, warm cheese?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, God, you know what? I am gonna be in Mexico for my half-birthday. And the Christmas party. And cinco De Mayo.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Construction projects, they say three months, And then, after two years, The lazy bums haven't even started. Now we're those lazy bums.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Jim, Jim, I want to give a toast. Where's the little girl of honor? I don't know, dad. I don't know.", "c": ["Jim's father", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Stop that tiny, blonde woman! She stole my baby! What are you doing? Give me that baby. What? Kevin!", "c": ["Pam", "Kevin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Did you think I stole your baby? What's that? Oh, yeah, back then I did. Just now. So don't, because I've got my eye on you.", "c": ["Angela", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "What kind of a person steals scones From a baby? Someone put them in my bag.", "c": ["Jim", "Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Can you fake a seizure or a heart attack or something? I can make myself cry. Do that. Do it.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Okay, driver, driver, if you're not gonna stop this bus, Then I'm going to stop it for you. Okay? Hang on. Stopping in Tennessee.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Is anyone still at the church? No. Actually, most of them went to go see a movie. What? Shut up. Yeah.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Christening"}, {"t": "Just say copies. Why do you have to drag cats into this?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "It's pronounced 'wacko.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "I bet he's wishing he was strangling someone.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Grandpa, where were you the day the Scranton Strangler was caught? Well, I was there, kiddo. I was there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "you go sell these and buy yourself a nice spaceship.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "The invalid.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Take Gabe, take Michael, you make 'Gaymike.'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Of all feelings, to base a show around glee? Thirst. Now that's a show I'd watch.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Tonight might be a convenient night for us to have some intercourse.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "No, he's not the boss. Why did you just say he was the boss? 'Cause you're the boss.", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "I just have a different lifestyle. They have these bags of vegetables that steam right inside their own bag. So, I'll get a glass of sangria, sit down in front of the TV, my bag of vegetables... Before you know it, I'm ready for bed.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Imagine one instant of a song expanded to be the size of the universe. I can't even do that.", "c": ["Gabe", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "And if it doesn't stop soon, I am gonna be up all night.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Which one's Glee?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Turn it up to 11. Come on, Michael. Spinal cord.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Pam, I have a loaded gun in my desk at work. And if I ever start acting like that weenie, Gabe, I want you to take that gun, and I want you to shoot me, like, 100 times in the groin till I'm dead, okay?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "They say that 15 Chinese soldiers fought off the entire army of Genghis Khan just using this stuff.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Better men than Gabe have tried to be my boss. David got fired. Charles got fired. Jan went crazy. Ed Truck, who I liked, got decapitated.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "In the Schrute family, the youngest child always raises the others. I've been raising children since I was a baby.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "And I'd blow your mind.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Was it worth it, Jim? 'Cause we missed it.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Just go to Gabe's refrigerator, get a lump of suet, or any kind of congealed animal fat will do, really. Tie a piece of string to it, tie the other end to her toe, pop the suet in her mouth, she'll be happy for hours.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "I just ate an entire seahorse. I have to admit, I did not think it was gonna work, but it's totally working. I feel exactly like a seahorse.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "So, these are pizza dogs. These aren't pigs in a blanket, per se.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "I've always considered us to be very good friends. Great friends.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Surprise me. No. Pepperoni.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Better than English. (IN MOCK MANDARIN)", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "You're four seasons in a day.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Just don't think of it as degrading. Think of it as you happen to be moving the pizza six inches this way, and he happens to be biting it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "She needs to be serviced.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "She is in heat. She will eat your face off.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket in a blanket.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "The first time we saw each other naked, we didn't even make love. We just stared at each other until we fell asleep. It was magical.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "He's a weird, little, skeevy guy with no waist.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "I hate your roof. I'll raise the roof.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "If you break that girl's heart, I will kill you. It's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart, I will literally kill you and your entire family.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "How much? I don't know. It's powdered, so... Like, four or five, I don't know.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "That's so beautiful.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Are you gonna quiet that baby or do I have to?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Viewing Party"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Okay, okay, nobody panic. Listen up, listen up. Everyone, follow me to the shelter. We've got enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Try zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Okay, I'm not doing every number.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Our IT guys have been... Glasses, Turban, Ear Hair, Fatty 3, Shorts, Fatty 2, Lozenge, and Fatso.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "You're typing 'big boobs'? / Try 'big boobz' with a Z.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "The password. We're in. / This kept us secure, people.", "c": ["Unknown", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "At some point, somebody is going to have to step up and do my taxes, and it is not going to be me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Get out. Do your job. / What-- / Yes.", "c": ["Michael", "Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Looks like your little documentary finally found its star.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Yes, I invested in WUPHF. It's actually a really great idea, and I can't believe it didn't exist before. And I know Ryan's kind of a sketchy guy, but, hey, I married Jim. I've done my part for the nice guy. Now I want a bedroom set--One that matches.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Every fall, growing up, my uncle Eldred used to build us a maze out of hay bales for us kids to play in. We called it Hay Place. Eldred called it Hay World. Eventually lawyers were brought in. But that's all behind us. Hay Place lives on.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Do you like dogs? / I have, like, eight dogs. / Hay Place romances never last.", "c": ["Dwight", "Sherri", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding Cece, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest--If I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "I entered the sale, and I hit enter, and I said, 'dunh-duh-na-dah!' I'm pretty sure I timesed it right.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Dunh-duh-nah-dah! Still zero.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "I wish my gym didn't allow full nudity in the locker room. Okay, some of these old guys walking around naked--It feels almost passive-aggressive.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Think about your commission cap as a naked old man in a gym locker room.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Excuse me, everyone. Sex! Now that I have your attention... You don't have our attention. / Money! I'm listening.", "c": ["Michael", "Unknown", "Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Yes, I have a dream. And it's not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there's a button that I can press and launch that lighthouse into space.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "We already have a buyer. / Really? Who? / Washington University.", "c": ["Ryan", "Unknown", "Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Bob's finances are... Complicated. He only invests with cash and only in nightclubs.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "You could buy the Bernard Estate and just burn it to the ground while your entire family watched. / That is horrible. I love my family.", "c": ["Michael", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "That's a safety school, Michael. / And they laughed you off of campus, right? So who's laughing now?", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm kind of in the mood for a roll in the hay. / Roll in the hay, $5, please.", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "No, no. Oscar, it's not--it's not a digital rape whistle.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "I don't feel like skiing right now, Oscar.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Well, since I have no incentive to sell, I've cleaned my car, organized my desk, and taken a multivitamin. So... What now?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "I found the needle in the haystack! / Hey, congratulations. Do you know what your prize is? Nothing. Life lesson? Some tasks are not worth doing.", "c": ["Unknown", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "WUPHF condoms! 50,000 condoms out of the sky. / Look at that! He threw 'em on the ground!", "c": ["Ryan", "Ryan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "My aunt and uncle have a house in the Poconos. I can borrow it... Just go up there, shut myself away-- No TV, no WUPHF-- Just, like, play a video game.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "I said to Ryan, 'I try to call you, and you don't have your phone. I try to IM you, and you're not online. I wish there was a way that I could do everything all at once, and I could just be like this little dog going, Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!' And that's how it happened, and that's what I told my lawyer.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "They only want it for the initials. The domain name. / Oh, God. / W.U.P.H.F.", "c": ["Oscar", "Unknown", "Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Yeah, so we can celebrate Thanksgiving-me-your-money day. / That's humorous. Thank you.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Eight years. / Listen, I know you really like Ryan-- / Well, why have I been separating the trash into whites and colors?", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "You may be crazy. / Don't. / I'm just saying that I think I agree with your point. / Yeah, but in a jokey way where you're gonna start singing.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim", "Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "The moment Darla put the cupcake in her mouth, her daddy pulled her aside and said, 'You're too fat. No one's gonna like you if you're too fat.'", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "You and me on a private plane flown by our private pilot... / Yeah, well, we never even have dinner now, so...", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "We appear to have a three-way tie. I have no choice but to pick the Hay King myself. I pick... Me. I am your Hay King!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Did I truck 300 bales of hay to a parking lot to rectify some childhood disappointment? Yes.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Why would I let someone use me? That doesn't make any sense. / What makes you think someone's using you? / Ryan had an idea for a business. / Ryan-- Uh, yeah, okay.", "c": ["Michael", "Unknown", "Michael", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Like, if you took a person, turned him into a car, and then used the car and then somebody bought the car and started racing with the car, started beating everybody else on the track and this car was, like, human--", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Well, maybe you should handle your own situation now that you know that Jason is banging your wife. / My wife passed away a few years ago.", "c": ["Michael", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Consider it a WUPHF in person.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "I would rather go broke betting on my people than get rich all by myself on some island like a castaway. And there is no middle ground.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Mother Earth by Dwight Kurt Schrute. The water runs, the sun will glint. This is our environment. The Hay King steps upon the ground. He wields a giant man sword round. He penetrates the Mother Earth, once, twice, again and again and again and again for all he's worth, pounding into her soft, warm dirt. Her lips quivering, mounds shaking in ecstasy. And sudden relief.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "The world sends people your way. Ryan came to me through a temp agency. Andy was transferred here. No idea where Creed came from. The point is, you just have to play with the cards that you're dealt. Jim, that guy is an ace. Dwight is my king up my sleeve. Phyllis is my old maid. Oscar is my queen. That's easy. Give me a hard one. That's what Oscar said. Toby is the instruction card you throw away. Pam's a solid seven. And yeah, you know what? Ryan is probably, like, a two. But sometimes twos can be wild. So watch out. And I am obviously the joker.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "Gabe Lewis. Now, listen here, Gabe, you're too fat. No one's gonna like you if you're too fat.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Wuphf.Com"}, {"t": "20 minutes a day, all feet, no hands and I'll have the pededexterity of a chimp and you'll be sitting there like an idiot.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Allow me to write you an apology letter. D-e-a... oops, space, 'a. Dear...'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "thank you, hands. Nothing else in the universe can do what you do.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Well, 'a' for effort, right?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Du blueberry, por favor.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "$8? (reaction to muffin price)", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Owning a building is a war between the landlord and the tenant. Not a literal war, unfortunately.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "And by green, I mean money.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "China. China. (Michael's repetitive fixation)", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's where they make stuff.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "China is a sleeping dragon that is just beginning to stir.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "China should be like eight.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "You gotta stop texting me so much. But I wanted you to know that Michael and I are wearing the same tie today. It's insane.", "c": ["Darryl", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "B.T.B. Bring that Booty.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. Is that not good enough for your anus?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "'Which is you' is not a sentence.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Hey, Pam, Dwight's being questioned by the police in connection with a string of dognappings...", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "So much for keeping our secrets up high.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Where forks are irrelevant.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "You never told us to close them.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "An antacid that you only take once a week.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "It's too big a pill to swallow.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "What if we all get together and help each other and hire a new guy and then we all kill him but first we take out, like, a $100,000 life insurance policy?", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Suck it, Oscar.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "I will not work in a roach billboard.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I've been playing zombie soccer for two hours?", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Is the nail place Koreans or whites? Koreans. Good. And the dry cleaners? White? Good.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "He really does fit that old stereotype of the smug gay Mexican.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "You're one bad text away from gettin' blocked. Yes, but one good text away from a high five.", "c": ["Darryl", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "I wish for a million wishes. Yeah, no, I'm not a genie. Then see you later, building.", "c": ["Kevin", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "And 25 years from now, Cece will become world famous for stripping.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "And my daughter, Cece, dances on your grave fully clothed.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "What do you know about boobs? Michael, I have to tell you something. It's from rocky ii.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "I'm Pam. Oh. No, you're not. I'm sorry, we have a colleague with the same name. You're not a liar too, are you?", "c": ["Michael", "Realtor"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "I can't wait to do to Pam what I just did to Pam.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "I lied about some aspects of the building. It's still on a bike path, though, right? There's no building. It doesn't exist.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "I wasn't here. What? I wasn't here. It's a pretty common saying.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "That as long as people like you and me don't stop talking... Nobody can stop the U.S.A.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "if you dig long enough and hard enough in a conversation, you get to a friend.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "they say the best vampires don't bleed their victims dry, but give them the strength so that they can bounce back only to be fed on again.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "I was not motivated by compassion. I have no compassion. Make sure you got that. Not motivated by compassion.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Come to parking lot. Crazy pigeon action.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "That's a text. Yeah, right? That's a new standard.", "c": ["Andy", "Darryl"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "China"}, {"t": "Not everyone jumped. Okay, everybody jump in the air this time, please. Here we go. One, two, three. Still some people not jumping.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I am jumping. You are? Let me see you jump. Yes, I'm jumping. Oh, my God. This is a store-bought camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that.", "c": ["Michael", "Stanley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Also, Erin is jumping way too early. She's on the ground by 'three.' I didn't want to miss it.", "c": ["Michael", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Here's a question nobody's asking, is this worth it? Don't answer that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I'm the office administrator now, which means I'm basically being paid to be head of the party planning committee. The first thing I did as head, I shut it down.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "At its worst it was a toxic political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best it planned parties.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "So, Stanley, how big is the bug up your butt today?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Pam got those sugar-free cookies I like. I'm doing fine.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "My kids are growing up. As a boss, I look at that and I say, 'Great.' It is exactly what a boss would hope would happen because that's what I want. That's what every boss wants, is a wonderful Christmas with no drama.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Hello Kitty's for girls. Nashua got mp3 players. Yeah, I don't even have a laptop.", "c": ["Kevin", "others"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I wonder if these presents would be under as much scrutiny if I were white. Come on. I said 'I wonder.' I didn't say 'I think.'", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "iCarly... You know who's funny on that show? The friend with the video camera. He's got a nice way of talking.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! It's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate, and cuddle up with Papa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams? It's not even a real snow. Look, it's a dusting. It's pitiful.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Well, it's not a snowball, 'cause it's only a dusting. Right?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Look at that. There's a pebble in there. You could have killed me! Don't be such a baby. Yeah, who's a little girl now?", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim", "Meredith"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Very well, then I challenge you to a snowball fight on the first real snow of winter. You got it. That sounds awesome. Can we all do it? No, Andy, it's a snowball fight. It's not fun. Go get your own thing. Beat it.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I wouldn't subject Robert to that. He's a very busy senator. State senator.", "c": ["Angela", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "We went to a picnic thrown by the comptroller's wife. Oh. That would be impressive if anyone knew what a comptroller was.", "c": ["Angela", "Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Do you have any idea how many photographers there are at a ribbon-cutting ceremony? I do. Two.", "c": ["Angela", "Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Because you've been on the lam? Because the boring police have been after you, and they finally caught up with you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Yes, the case of the horrible red-headed sad sack. And the verdict, it was Toby. And the sentence, death. Death to Toby!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "He's rubbing his neck. He's rubbing his neck! Scranton Strangler!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Let's just say I'll be up to my neck in jury duty.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "That was the worst joke ever.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "How do you describe somebody who is at the same time an old friend, and was a lover. And was a complicated part of my past, and maybe, just maybe a part of my future? She's one sassy black lady.", "c": ["Michael", "Erin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Thank you. Thank you, Scranton Strangler. I love you! You just took one more person's breath away.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "The name is Bond. Santa Bond. I'll have an eggnog, shaken, not stirred. Classic Brosnan.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Could you just stop moving your calves so much while you're talking?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Could he help us with some parking tickets? I don't think that's appropriate. Well, then he's not a senator.", "c": ["Jim", "Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no! Fake tree. No! Holly's coming from New Hampshire. Somebody from New Hampshire looks at that and thinks it's a burning cross.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I would, but I don't want to get dirty. There might be girls at the party. Why do you always think that girls are gonna be at the party? No one invited girls. It's just us.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Which is ironic, considering how many trees it saves on a daily basis.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "You know Darryl? Yeah. He works here. We all know him.", "c": ["Andy", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I thought I was enough family for my daughter.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Thank you for your interest in my truck.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I've looked her up online. There's nothing about her. She's made no impression on the Internet.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I know people are only this excited to talk to me because of the trial. But they talk to me for a while, and maybe people realize I have something to say. And then one day, we're just talking.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I have no feeling in my fingers or penis. But I think it was worth it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "And, then... 'How about icing it? LOL. Dwight.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Well, well, well, if it isn't Michael Scott. You old bastard. Well, I never thought I'd see your face around these parts, you old bastard! Well, I did show my face around these parts, you old bastard. Why, you're some sort of wise guy, huh? I most certainly am. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk... D'oh! Oh, Homey.", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Oh, huggy monster! Oh, not the huggy monster! I don't want to die! I don't want to die!", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Oh, it's so nice to be back. It looks beautiful in here. Super-classy. It's like a party for limousine drivers.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Oh, I love... A.J. gave me that. Well, that's understandable. Still raw.", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "You know who my favorite character in Toy Story is? Andy's mom. Why? Because without Andy's mom, there's no plot. And without any plot, there is no movie.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "A.J. said he hadn't seen any of the Toy Story movies. You're kidding me. No. I know. I'm like, 'What? Are you serious?' What a douche bag! Get a life!", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "He had a little note pinned to him that said, 'You've got a friend in me.' Yeah, Randy Newman's the best. Yeah. I love him. Me, too.", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I don't have kids or anything, but if my grandmother ever dies, I'm going to kill myself.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Well, Darryl, no kid wants to buy their own Christmas presents.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Who told you that? Nora Ephron, in every romantic comedy ever made.", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when you're gonna need to bear a passing resemblance to someone.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "There's no connection between the origin story and the quest. We need to know who Jimmy Halpert was before he was bitten by the bear. Otherwise it's the bear's quest.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I guess there are just some people who you stay together with when you transfer, and some people you don't. And that's just the way it is. And I can be mature about that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "The shards of glass would have shaved her face right off. And, yes, it might have been funny, but it also would have been incredibly tragic.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "So we laugh and laugh and laugh, and then we spend the rest of the day walking around slo-mo drinking latte.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "So you went homemade this year. Yep. Yeah. Money problems. Is that what this is about? I mean, oh, dear, I don't think we can help you out.", "c": ["Angela", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "You don't think... It's not possible that Woody did this to himself? It is Christmas. No, it really seems like something Michael would do.", "c": ["Holly", "Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "When you got transferred, and I drove you up to Nashua, you said, 'Michael, I love you, but I can't do this.' But then, with this other guy, you don't have any problem with a long-distance relationship, do you?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Just like when you ate those maple candies that you brought for us!", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Damn it, Dwight! Didn't think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim?", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit in an air-conditioned room downtown, judging people while my lunch is paid for... That is the life.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "How many congressmen is the state of Pennsylvania guaranteed? And what other state has the equal number? I don't know. Do you know the other state?", "c": ["Angela", "Jada"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Well, it turns out she's burning up because the star is right behind her ear! And the game's over seconds later.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Robert seems great. He's very handsome, firm handshake, he's gay, good sense of humor.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I am dead inside.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You like it? I love it. Yep, I do make great Christmas gifts.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "A.J. won't commit to Holly. And she's gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose to her by the end of the year, it's over. And I don't know about you, but I don't know a lot of happy marriages that start off with an ultimatum. Do you?", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "You hit Pam in the face with a snowball while I watch. You're a psychopath.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "You're re-gifting this to me. No, that's not... No, I went to the mall and I picked that out especially for you. Oh, yeah? Well, show me the receipt. From the mall. This is a fast food receipt from April.", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "I was making salad, and he fell right into the dressing. I mean, there was salad dressing all over him. He smells awful. It was blue cheese dressing.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Classy Christmas"}, {"t": "Knights of the Night are volunteer crime patrollers. We're often compared to the Guardian Angels, but we could not be more different from them. Seriously, we are nothing like the Guardian Angels. I mean, broad strokes purposes, sure. Think Guardian Angels.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "One of our many recent good deeds, we set out to capture the Scranton Strangler. Mission accomplished. Not by us.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "I see how this movie ends. You make fun of me, everyone laughs. Ha, ha, ha. Screw you.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "What are you gonna do now? You gonna make fun of our leader's weird voice, huh? 'Dwight, don't be bothered...' Over the line, Jim.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Knights stayed outside to play flashlight tag. Oh, come on. That sounds awesome. It was pretty cool. Was it? It was fun. It was... It was pretty awesome.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Holly Partridge Flax, otherwise known as Holly, otherwise otherwise known as a living, breathing angel", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "If she's not engaged, in all honesty, I may just burn this whole place to the ground out of happiness. Either way, I am going to need some talking down.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Snot. Sorry, it sounded like you said, 'It's snot.' I'm so sorry.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "I was just thinking about snot.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Wow, did your baby draw that? The glitter is blinding.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "And you know her husband's in a wheelchair, right?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Sponge. Sad. To soak up my tears. Gummy bears and gummy worms. Bears sad, worms happy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Ukuleles. Happy? Sad. Something to break.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "I hope she doesn't call us up on stage, that would suck. 'Hey, you think you could do my job better?' 'I don't know.' 'What's your name?' 'Michael.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Because if Holly chooses to be with him, he will be so, so happy. And if not, he'll be avoiding the biggest mistake of his life.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "What happened? Is there a ring? So, high five me. We're back. To a happy... Woo! Look at those. Mittens. Those a present?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Let me feel those. Let me feel that. Put her there. Give me a good firm one. Ooh, that's a good, firm handshake. You're hired.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Want me to crank the thermostat to 90? Smoke her out? She can't keep those mittens on forever.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Hey, right back at you, bitch.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Michael and Jim dance celebration with escalating moves", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "'Learn to cook for one.' Yeah, I love cooking. But I always find myself throwing out half the food that I prepare.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Well, maybe you'll meet someone. No, some people just don't meet someone. I'm fine with it. Really. This is not a pity party. It's not a party at all. It's just sad.", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean the state senator. I'm sorry, I was confused 'cause you accidentally wrote 'The senator.'", "c": ["Angela", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "My resolution is 'Meet a loose woman.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "'Hey, what book is that?' 'Cool, let's hang out tonight.' 'Sex already? Whoa.'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "2011 is coming up all Darryl.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "E.T. phone Holly. Holly like phone? Holly misses old phone. Why? New phone is confusing, gets bad reception. Oh, bummer. Bummer. Reese's pieces. Reese's pieces? Oh, God. Please stop.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "No. Don't go see that one. I want to see that together. Yeah, go see that action one. Okay. I love you, too.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Do you think she's already dating a different A.J.? I don't think so. When you broke it off with Roy did you still tell him you loved him? No. But you did still love him. I'm not gonna have... Do you love him now? No!", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Oh, I work at a paper company. Those things terrify me. They could put us out of business, you know? Heard those machines hold, like, 10 books at once. Actually, it's 10,000. Holy shit. What?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "So light. Like a croissant.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Why did we pretend like we work here? Is that what we were doing? I don't know...", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "What'd you get? A book about oceans. Oh, really? What else? Let me see. That's porn. Pornography. Old lady. Nasty porn.", "c": ["Darryl", "Kevin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "I mean, not even for a week to make him buy you a present?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "The day shift at a strip club? You can't un-see that.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "I don't know. Single moms at a skating party? Sweet 16, 10-year reunion parties. Chicks fall down, need help getting back up. Roller derby practice.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Well, my goal was to learn a new word every single day. And I must say that it is going immensely.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "I want to do a cartwheel. But real casual, like. Not make a big deal out of it. But I know everybody saw it, just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Since last year I ate none. Okay, well, my confession is that today I had a sip of coffee. But that's fine. Is it? Yes, because with all of your support, by this time next year maybe I'll be down to one glass of iced tea a week.", "c": ["Stanley", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "I made a resolution to floss. And I did it. 12:01, January 1st. Bam! Blood everywhere.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Why are you eating stem first? This is a new food for me. How else should I eat it?", "c": ["Michael", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Can I get some Cheez Whiz? Or Hollandaise? No, no. No Cheez Whiz, no Hollandaise, no chocolate sauce, just eat it.", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Can I get some candy or something? No, you can't have any candy!", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Holly Flax. Yes, Michael? Not Michael, E.T.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "It was traumatizing, Michael. I wouldn't be surprised if I never ate a vegetable again.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "And you loom so large in my heart that I crossed the line.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "Okay, Michael, no offense. But you need to get your own life.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "I don't think I'm there yet, boss. Well, I am.", "c": ["Kevin", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "How's your fart project coming? That's real, real classy, Kevin.", "c": ["Kevin", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "I could be pregnant. Okay, no. Oh, my resolution was to get more attention. Nope, she's lying.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "One, two, three. I did it. I did a cartwheel. Fuck you! Fuck you! Oh, God! Okay, that's it. God!", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "His name is Andy. And he roller skates like a Greek God. And you know what? I kind of like hanging out with him.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "My resolution? I never want to make Holly cry again. Unless it's from laughing too hard. Or making love too beautifully.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "We're gonna be just fine. You know how you say something over and over and the words start to sound weird? Going to be just fine. Just fine, just fine, just fine.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "What a rush! That's all I had to do all year. Congratulations. All right. Well, all right, see you tomorrow.", "c": ["Creed", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Ultimatum"}, {"t": "We're often compared to the Guardian Angels, but we could not be more different from them. Seriously, we are nothing like the Guardian Angels. I mean, broad strokes purposes, sure. Think Guardian Angels.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "One of our many recent good deeds, we set out to capture the Scranton Strangler. Mission accomplished. Not by us.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, no. I see how this movie ends. You make fun of me, everyone laughs. (SARCASTICALLY) Ha, ha, ha. Screw you.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Knights stayed outside to play flashlight tag.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Oh, come on. That sounds awesome. It was pretty cool. Was it? It was fun. It was... It was pretty awesome.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Holly Partridge Flax, otherwise known as Holly, otherwise otherwise known as a living, breathing angel", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "If she's not engaged, in all honesty, I may just burn this whole place to the ground out of happiness. Either way, I am going to need some talking down.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Michael, I know what you're thinking. Holly is engaged to somebody else and you want to kill yourself. That may seem like a good idea, but it's not. (LAUGHING) Snot. Sorry, it sounded like you said, 'It's snot.' I'm so sorry.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Wow, did your baby draw that?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "The glitter is blinding.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "And you know her husband's in a wheelchair, right?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Bears sad, worms happy. Come on, Erin.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Sad. Something to break.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "I hope she doesn't call us up on stage, that would suck. 'Hey, you think you could do my job better?' 'I don't know.' 'What's your name?' 'Michael.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "And if not, he'll be avoiding the biggest mistake of his life.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "His name is New Year's Resolution Board. (STAGGERING) Shut up. Hello.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Put her there. Give me a good firm one. Ooh, that's a good, firm handshake. You're hired. Yes, well let's get right into the Anderson account, shall we? Okay. Yes, yes, right away.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. Want me to crank the thermostat to 90? Smoke her out? She can't keep those mittens on forever.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Hey, right back at you, bitch.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "What? Shut that off. I'm not listening to the music.", "c": ["Michael", "Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Michael dance-off!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "I've achieved plenty, and there's no better than the best.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Learn to cook for one.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "No, some people just don't meet someone. I'm fine with it. Really. This is not a pity party. It's not a party at all. It's just sad.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I was confused 'cause you accidentally wrote 'The senator.'", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "My resolution is 'Meet a loose woman.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "'Hey, what book is that?' 'Cool, let's hang out tonight.' 'Sex already? Whoa.'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "(IMITATING E.T.) E.T. phone Holly. Holly like phone? (IMITATING E.T.) Holly misses old phone.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Please stop.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Do you think she's already dating a different A.J.?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "When you broke it off with Roy did you still tell him you loved him? No. But you did still love him. I'm not gonna have... Do you love him now? No!", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "'Oh, hi, friend.' (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "They could put us out of business, you know? Heard those machines hold, like, 10 books at once. Actually, it's 10,000. Holy (BLEEP). What?", "c": ["Kevin", "Bookstore Employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "So light. Like a croissant.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Why did we pretend like we work here? Is that what we were doing?", "c": ["Darryl", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "A book about oceans. Oh, really? What else? Let me see. That's porn. Pornography. Old lady. Nasty porn.", "c": ["Andy", "Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "I went to Portugal. I went to Portugal. Oh, wow. You went together? No. No.", "c": ["Pam", "Erin", "Holly"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "I mean, not even for a week to make him buy you a present?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "The day shift at a strip club? You can't un-see that.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Chicks fall down, need help getting back up. Roller derby practice. (GROWLING JOYFULLY)", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Well, my goal was to learn a new word every single day. And I must say that it is going immensely.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Intercepted. Hey... Gabe. Oops-e-doops.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "I want to do a cartwheel. But real casual, like. Not make a big deal out of it. But I know everybody saw it, just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "12:01, January 1st. Bam! Blood everywhere.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "And you know what's gonna be on your tombstone? 'Loser.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "My tombstone's already made, thank you.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "This is a new food for me. How else should I eat it?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Can I get some Cheez Whiz? Or Hollandaise?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Come on, here comes the airplane. There you go. Open, open, into the hangar, there you go.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "You need to get your own life.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "I don't think I'm there yet, boss.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "How's your fart project coming?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "I could be pregnant.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Oh, my resolution was to get more attention. Nope, she's lying.", "c": ["Meredith", "Ryan"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "I did it. I did a cartwheel. (BLEEP) you! (BLEEP) you!", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "His name is Andy. And he roller skates like a Greek God. And you know what? I kind of like hanging out with him.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "My resolution? I never want to make Holly cry again. Unless it's from laughing too hard. Or making love too beautifully.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "You know how you say something over and over and the words start to sound weird? Going to be just fine. Just fine, just fine, just fine.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "I did it! You did? A perfect cartwheel. (LAUGHING) Okay, good! What a rush! That's all I had to do all year.", "c": ["Creed", "Darryl"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "The Seminar"}, {"t": "Michael working on English character 'Reginald Poofter'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "David Brent's racist Chinese character 'Ping' - 'Herro! Herro!'", "c": ["David Brent"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'Comedy is a place where the mind goes to tickle itself' / 'That's what she said'", "c": ["David Brent", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'Master of Ceremonies' Bernard correction", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Ryan's timeshare scam story leading to lonely Boise weekend", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Michael's 'Nein, I'm Greek! My name is Mykonos' entrance", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Mykonos based on Spiros 'who is more about the ladies'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'Thank you so much, Tuna Turner. You are simply the best.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'I get super flexible when I'm nervous' with Jim stretching", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'If the seminar was a meal, you'd be the amuse-bouche'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Andy admitting he's terrible at sales and this is the only job he's good at", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Abandoned mineshafts business idea - 'big future in that, lots of mines in Scranton'", "c": ["Andy", "Seminar attendee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "0.2 cents business model repeated for everything", "c": ["Seminar attendee"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'They're baby whales, which is even cuter'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'We're no more a team than people staying in same hotel'", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Holly's worst week including mono and first period in high school", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'Too much information? That's what I thought. But here I am using it.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'Mykonos ran away to join Italian circus' backstory", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'Is JLP a word? I Jlp you!'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Gabe's horror movie choices vs Erin liking the 'perfect family' parts", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'It means you're playing someone who's going to destroy you'", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Erin stuck on cow words - moo, milk, mood, moon - 'cow jumped over the moon'", "c": ["Erin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Kevin as Jim in alternate timeline where Jim never met Pam", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Ryan's commitment paralysis - won't commit to doing or not doing", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'And if I flake, I flake'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'My name's Andy Bernard, but you can call me The Nard Dog'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Kevin's speech timing - long awkward pause counting '4, 5'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Kevin's motivational speech: 'Dream big... And then double it!'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Kevin's winner visualization ending with 'Get out of the way'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Kelly crashing Ryan's introduction as 'the business bitch'", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Kelly's multiple 'bitch' brands - business, diet, shopping, etiquette", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Professor on speakerphone: 'Why?' when Kelly explains he's on speaker", "c": ["Professor Powell", "Kelly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Professor reluctantly giving business advice: 'know your market... fiscal discipline'", "c": ["Professor Powell"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'That brilliant little bitch' - Erin about Kelly", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Erin's aggressive Scrabble coaching - 'Put the Q there!' 'Sorry I yelled'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'I like the musical Grease, or as we call it, home'", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'Greekaccino - very strong coffee with milk from a goat'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'It's a miracle. She can talk. No more brain damage!'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Creed's Loch Ness Monster business plan speech", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'So I have one question, why are you here?'", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Gabe's horror movie 'Suspiria' vs Erin's 'Wall-E where all boundaries of color are pushed'", "c": ["Gabe", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Oscar's Slumdog Millionaire theory about Erin's Scrabble success", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Real business owner seeking 'manageable growth' advice", "c": ["Seminar attendee", "Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Jim's pep talk: 'They're a bunch of jackals... You did this. Bring it home.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'I will have apoplexy if you lose. Apoplexy is what I will have.'", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'I played ape' - Erin's winning word", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Jim's childhood reading group story - blue group vs green group", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'My mom thinks you're too dumb to hang out with'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Andy's aggressive closing followed by immediate politeness", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'Must be a front for some kind of famous laboratory. 'Cause you're so smart.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'Where's your jetpack, Zuckerberg?'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'I guess when you looked in me, you forgot about my balls. They're on the outside.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Michael calling Holly 'Necropolis' and asking for kiss", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Gabe's 'Hardware' as Wall-E compromise - 'killer combat robot the government invented to destroy humans'", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "'There's a Shrek 2?' - Erin's amazement", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "The Search"}, {"t": "Ryan and I have a huge announcement... Over the weekend, Ryan Bailey Howard and I got divorced.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Sweet. Free ring.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Wait, I... Can you back up? What's the story?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "We were making love constantly... Ryan was crying a lot.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "That's not a relevant detail.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Um, like, a week ago. We got really wasted, and it just felt right.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "And you didn't invite any of us? We are getting divorced, Andy!", "c": ["Andy", "Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "No, with the messed up laws in this country, I don't want to be married until everyone can be married.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "You know what, Ryan? I talked to the other gay guys, and we're okay with it. We all agreed it's fine for you to get married.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "No. No, Oscar. Not until everyone can.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "This actually isn't amicable at all, and we actually do need people to take sides. Who's on my side? And who is on my side?", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Why does the sun rise in the morning? Why do magnets stick together? Because everybody says so. Everybody.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Yes, I do. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you can have your own opinion, and I can have mine. I have my own opinion, and my opinion is to disagree with you.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "He's gonna be a lot of fun to drive around in a car with. Oh, you'll get through it, hon. Just make a game out of it. A funny Jim game.", "c": ["Pam", "Holly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "All right, what'd you do? Well, those things that you consider doodles, I consider art.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Three hints. One, when you're getting colder, you're really getting warmer. The fridge.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Holly is ruining Michael's life. He thinks she's so special. And she's so not. Her personality is like a three, her sense of humor is a two, her ears are like a seven and a four.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Add it all up, and what do you get? 16. And he treats her like she's a perfect 40. It's nuts.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Well, I'm going the speed limit. Okay, fine. My feelings don't matter to you. What matters to you is your precious speed limit.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Sex different after the baby, Jim?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "All right, let me turn on some music. I need to pee! No, you don't. Yeah, I do. My word against yours.", "c": ["Jim", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "I'm upset, my bladder is full, there is no telling what I might do right now all over the inside of your precious little car.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "A tiny thing. I locked her in the car. What? She's smiling. She's happy. Oh, my God.", "c": ["Helene", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Excuse me, sir, there's a... There's a guy in the bathroom. He's coming out, but I have to go, 'cause it's an emergency. Will you just tell him to call the office?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "But you're not holding a cup of coffee or anything, are you? Jim, what?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "I will put out an A.P.B., otherwise known as an 'Ask Pam Beesly.'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "No, he ditched you, man. I saw him drive away. There's no way he ditched me. There's no way that happened. He's my...", "c": ["Gas station attendant", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Actually, this is good. I am going to take this opportunity to go walk about.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Problem solved, everyone. Space Orphan and Princess Nincompoop are off to rescue Michael.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "You drive. I got a car full of fox meat.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Very funny, everyone. Who wrote captions under my doodle?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "'I'm a suck, suck, suckity Sabre.' Booya!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "'I'm supposed to be wearing red gloves, but my color cartridge portal got jammed again.' Okay. No, no, no, no, no. Gloves. Keep it real.", "c": ["Andy", "Darryl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "I've been reading the comics to my daughter since she was three years old. Not once have I used the real captions to Family Circus.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "That crazy family is hilarious to her for one reason, me.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "It is on like Genghis Khan wearing Sean John in Bhutan.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Male, Caucasian, 40s, black hair, facial type, marsupial.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "He answers to Michael, Michael G. Scott, Michael J. Fox, Mr. Fox, the Incredible Mr. Fox...", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Oh, really? You don't think he walked by that bakery just for the smell of it? She's right. He went that way.", "c": ["Erin", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Don't get a swelled head. You're no tracker. Let's ride.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Hey, you guys. Listen to me. Don't get hung up on just one girl, because there are a lot of other girls out there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Hello. You guys are so beautiful. You're so colorful. I wish I could understand you. That's a metaphor, I guess.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "You are disgusting. You'll never find love.", "c": ["Random woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Pam, this isn't a shopping trip. No. This is a manhunt/rescue mission.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Pam, I'm obviously gonna get that stuff for you, so just shut up. God.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Number one, and this should be obvious, no captions that insult the company we work for. Irony is such a critical...", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "I think we can all agree they tend to alienate those who don't get the reference, making them feel like the other.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Sticky Quips are fun. They're safe. They're handy. I like to use Sticky Quips as regular Post-it notes when I'm in a fun mood. Not every day.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Now, I don't have any money, so here is what I would like to do. I leave you here with my watch, and I come back later and I pay for the hot dog.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "I'm not a pawn shop. Well, I understand that, but this is a $45 watch. Wow. With that, I could buy half the menu.", "c": ["Hot dog vendor", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "What do you do with the hot dogs that you don't sell? Throw 'em away. Well, okay, instead of throwing them all away later, why don't you just throw one away now into my mouth?", "c": ["Michael", "Hot dog vendor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Okay. You've just lost my business.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey, you were in there forever. There's too many brands. Where's Holly? She wandered off like an idiot.", "c": ["Dwight", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Just changing my cell phone plan. Okay. Here you go. I'll take my free stress ball too now. Sure thing. Here you go, Miss... Okay, Fanny Smellmore.", "c": ["Dwight", "Holly", "Store clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Real original. What? You know what? Say hi to Orville Tootenbacher for me. Tootenbacher. Orville Tootenbacher, that's Michael's millionaire character that farts popcorn.", "c": ["Store clerk", "Holly", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "I was gonna try to dine and dash, and that was stupid, and I realize I can't do that to you fine people.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Well, the number three is not such a giant feast.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Well, I think I can get through the door.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "It's Michael!", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "You knew. What? No. Dwight asked if I wanted an egg roll. What... What are you implying? Uncanny.", "c": ["Dwight", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "You crushed our spirits, Gabe. Congrats. You're a big man, huh? Takes a lot to destroy the creativity of a whole group of people.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Click the 'X.' I'm clicking! In the box. I am clicking. Woman, you've had a computer for years! Phyllis! Too late!", "c": ["Stanley", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "'Darn it, Bob, I told you not to buy a Sabre brand lifeboat.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "'Wake up, Fred. The power cord on your Sabre printer shocked you into a coma, and you're dreaming you're a dog on a desert island.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "How does the speaker know what the guy in the coma is dreaming?", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "You don't have to sniff my rear end anymore, Bob. I'm the only one here.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "'Is that a palm tree, or did Gabe get skinnier? Either way, let's pee on it.'", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "It was easy once I decided I wanted the dog to piss on Gabe.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Close your eyes. We need you to think. What is Michael seeing right now?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Can you tell him that we miss him? Michael, we're coming for you!", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "I'm deep below the ocean's surface in a submarine. A torpedo's coming right at me. No. Damn it, that's just my own imagination.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "I just miss you so much. I missed you, too. Really? Yeah.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "'I'm Gabe, and I'm a weirdo.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "'Gabe's mom. Hmm, Gabe's mom? Wait, tall woman? Looks like Gabe? Yeah, I banged her.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Pda"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Darryl. Let's get wasted.", "c": ["Unknown office worker", "Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Have fun today, big guy. Oh, yeah. Party time. Whoop-whoop.", "c": ["Unknown office workers", "Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Birthday punches! One, two, three...", "c": ["Unknown coworker", "Darryl"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "They say they won't do it, but they will if you make a scene.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Okay, bye. Okay, bye. I'll miss you. Miss you. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. Okay. One more big one. Don't go.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "It goes to show that everything you want in life, you get. And you can't work for it. It just comes to you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Close. It's a romantic treasure hunt. A scavenger hunt is where you find items from a master list. This is where you follow clues that lead to a prize. Common misuse.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "But there's no clue. Well, get to work. I can't 'cause there's no clue. The puzzle is the clue.", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Oscar clearing throat loudly repeatedly, Michael asking if he's sick", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "We decided to have a Valentine's Day lunch, and then that way we can spend the entire night with Cece, and avoid the Valentine's Day dinner thing.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Never found that bottom, did we? No. Pssst! Pssst!", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "I accidentally did his sudoku.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Okay, my name is Jim Halpert, and I will fax it in to you.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Under you. I'll fax it under you. Oh, excuse me. I just pissed my pants. Not really. I didn't really.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "I will not be your valentine. Oh, nuts.", "c": ["Andy", "Unknown recipient"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "I enjoy watching them because it makes me horny.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "We were the only two white people there. Oh, cute.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "It's this horrible plipping sound. Just... (imitating kissing)", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "He can put both his legs behind his head.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Perfect. Yes. It is quite apro-propriate. Carry on.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Boom! Face! I get it. Andy's slamming my girlfriend.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "You would hardly even know that they were husband and wife. Did it. Yeah!", "c": ["Gabe", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Booby honking. Butt honking. All the honkings.", "c": ["Gabe", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "The one where you start in a crouched position, then you leap...", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Michael and Holly making playful noises during the PDA meeting", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "As has Angela. As has Ryan. As has Kelly. As has Meredith...", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "With who? She goes to another school.", "c": ["Kevin", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "We are going to designate one of our closets as a hook-up zone. No. Anything goes!", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "What if two couples want to go at the same time?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "And what is the hook-up zone policy on masturbation? Pro. Yes.", "c": ["Unknown", "Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "I love working at Dunder Mifflin, a division of Taliban enterprises.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Not if we're talking like this. I think it's okay. He doesn't seem to hear us.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Darryl is a jerk. No, he's not. No, I'm just testing if he can hear. I can hear you.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy", "Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "The temp at night, the temp at night", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Ah, the old leave behind. Oldest trick in the book. Good thing it's working.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "I sit on your lap because I like the way your thighs feel on my butt.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet, and this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Do you mean you love me like, 'Hey, there's Holly. I love that girl,' or do you mean you love me like you 'love me' love me?", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Yeah, whatever. No big deal. Just the hottest girl in the world loves me.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Like benign tumor. Maybe it's just more like 'Be mine.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "You wanted to have sex in my office. No. Definitely not. That's disgusting.", "c": ["Ryan", "Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Text me when you're finished. I'll be out here.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office. No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Besides, we have something those other people don't have, which is a home and a bed. And a shower.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "No touching. No touching. I'm trying not to touch you. Oh. Almost got you. We can't do this.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Okay, this is much worse than before. Yeah, I agree. This is nasty.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "You don't know what it is like to love a woman and have her love you back. It is a feeling that cannot, and will not, and frankly cannot be contained.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "One, you're taking MDMA, street name, Ecstasy. I've done it, and I know the feeling.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Or three, you're at an age where your sexual climaxes aren't as powerful, so you need to overcompensate with foreplay, taboo behavior. Yes, it was that. It's that one.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "That's what she said. (chuckles softly)", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "enjoy a mid-hunt break, and look for a heart or some (BLEEP) in the break room", "c": ["Vending machine person"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Make that face he likes. Which one? I have a lot of stupid faces.", "c": ["Holly", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "'Boner Bomb' starring Jason Statham, or we go against type with an Eisenberg or a Michael Cera.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Do a monkey face. Do a monkey face. (Kevin making monkey sounds) Throw your poop. Hurl your feces.", "c": ["Holly", "Kevin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Oscar, this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love, my friend.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "we are going to make love to and with one another", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Suck it, Oscar. This must kill you. I just told them to do it.", "c": ["Michael", "Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "What? No. No. We took a walk. We took a walk.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over six months ago", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Anybody can be Prince Charming one day a year with the dinner and the flowers and all that. But you know what impresses me? When a guy can do that no days a year.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Pizza, soda, the moon, someone to share it with.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "What are our plans for tonight? Um... (imitating bed creaking)", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Threat Level Midnight"}, {"t": "Clean up on aisle five.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting, and two years of editing", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Did you guys know that our own Michael Scott has made a movie, and that he maybe will let us watch it, but only if everybody's dying to see it?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Yeah, if Michael Scott did your home movie.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "We thought it was a comedy. Everything pointed to it being a comedy.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Thanks, Mom.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I wanted Samuel's voice to be like this. But Michael thought that Samuel should be a very advanced android, almost indistinguishable from a real person.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Dwight does not play a robot.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I gave up a lot of weekends, because I thought it would be good for my daughter to see a black man as President, even in a silly home movie. What a stupid waste of time.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Heads I do it, tails I don't. Best out of seven.", "c": ["Michael as Scarn"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Looks like there's gonna be a clean up on aisle five.", "c": ["Michael as Scarn"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "See, I'm gonna lure him here, then I'm gonna kill everybody, then I'm gonna dig up Scarn's dead wife, and I'm gonna hump her real good.", "c": ["Jim as Goldenface"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I did not love the dialog, or the character. I took the role to impress a receptionist, who will remain nameless.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I'm not here to learn how to mop. I'm here to learn how to play hockey. Mop it.", "c": ["Michael as Scarn", "Creed as Cherokee Jack"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Nice try, Goldenface. Except you forgot one thing, to kill me. Oh, I wasn't trying to kill you. I was trying to slow you down.", "c": ["Michael as Scarn", "Jim as Goldenface"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "How's your wife doing?", "c": ["Jim as Goldenface"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I am so sorry I have to do this. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.", "c": ["Michael as Scarn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "He cut the part where my circuit board malfunctioned? Then what was the point of spilling the drink on me?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "He finished his movie? No kidding. Wow, that's great. Yeah, good for him.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Far and away the most expensive shot of the movie, but it was integral to the story.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "The joke's on you, Goldenface. That man was a wanted animal rapist.", "c": ["Michael as Scarn"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Go puck yourself.", "c": ["Michael as Scarn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "That was not scripted.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "It'll take a lot more than a bullet to the brain, lungs, heart, back and balls to kill Michael Scarn.", "c": ["Nurse", "Michael as Scarn"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "You got problems? My TV don't work. I pay $30 a month for the damn satellite whats-a-whose-it. I can't even get the damn game.", "c": ["Darryl as Billy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Ever banged an entire bachelorette party, baby?", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Why are you singling my line out, like, a million years later?", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "The Scarn dance sequence", "c": ["Michael", "Office cast"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "If doing the Scarn is gay, then I'm the biggest queer on earth!", "c": ["Michael as Scarn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I think I was just relieved to see that Michael Scarn got his confidence back.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "You should enter it in festivals. Or carnivals.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I loved that you got to work together with all your friends. Isn't that so great when you can all work together like that?", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "This isn't Ocean's Eleven, where you get together with all your friends, and you just have fun, and you don't care about how it turns out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I have my book on business, Somehow I Manage. I have my HBO comedy special, 'Here I Go Again...'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I am a huge Woody Allen fan. Although I've only seen Antz.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I thought A Bug's Life was better, much better than Antz. Point is, don't listen to your critics. Listen to your fans.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "We filmed this during an actual Scranton High School hockey game. They were trying to qualify for states... They were disqualified. They had to forfeit the game. Undefeated season.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "I worked in a gold factory. We had a boss who only cared about money.", "c": ["Jim as Goldenface"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Hey, we got sports games again.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Yeah, I guess I did let him be a robot.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, isn't the President evil? Oh, yeah. Yes, he is.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "No, no, he's doing it to catch the President. No, no, Dwight, he's just being stupid.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "Well, because I am Michael Scarn.", "c": ["Michael as narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Todd Packer"}, {"t": "You're eating eight-year-old tomatoes. They're still good for another week.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "I've got some cheese you might like too... In between my toes.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Kevin will be eaten. Pam will be taken slave. Jim will be made a warlord's Jester. Meredith will do okay.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Be assured this day will come. It's just a matter of time. Could be one month, could be two months. Three months. - Could be. - Four months.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "494 months. I could see that happening. 495 months. That's just...", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "I really thought I was becoming too much of a womanizer. I realized I had shirts in five different women's houses.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Truth is, I got a couple love bumps on my ding-dong, so I was like, 'oh, game over.'", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "It was the best of times. It was the 'awesomest' of times.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Whoa, I'm sorry. Michael, I thought we were meeting Holly today, not Jennifer Aniston.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Just so you know, he's at his funniest when you've given him, like, five shots. And it also helps if you've had five shots. I already have.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to a man who needs no introduction, probably because most of you have done it with him.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Just kidding. He wouldn't be interested in any of you.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "It's great to be among friends. And until then, you suckers will do.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Packer is turning in his car for a desk. He is turning in his condoms for a condominium, although he's probably going to have to use condoms from here on out.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "What don't you understand about the word 'approved'? It seems a couple of you don't know what the word 'approved' means. I have very little patience for stupidity.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Sorry we're late. Gabe fell in the shower. Such a klutz. Yeah, and it took the fire department forever to get there.", "c": ["Erin", "Gabe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "And I don't want to say the other one was old, but its I.P. Number was one.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "You know, I cleaned up our daughter for, like, an hour at 4:00 A.M. This morning, so... So you know the feeling.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "We have been thinking about where packer should sit, and we can't just sit around waiting for creed to die.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "'Packer was here and so was your mom.'", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "It's $20 to watch, Halpert.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Whose dirt box is this? That's our zen garden. What do you grow in here, bull crap?", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Office worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "You think you're so cute with your pretty blond hair.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "That's how he gets you to take off your panties. - Why are you nodding? - United front.", "c": ["Meredith", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Right. This isn't the U.S. government. What are you referencing? Everything. Everything.", "c": ["Holly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Well, I mean, he humped Michael. Well, if that's the case, I guess I've got to be fired too.", "c": ["Angela", "Holly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "This computer's a hunk of junk. Hey, sailor, come watch your regatta over here.", "c": ["Gabe", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "This is a sick computer. Gwen Stefani has this computer.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Yeah, but if you donated my computer to Africa, it would become famous as the slowest computer in Africa.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "So something good happening to Stanley is crazy now.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "What, are you gonna play mah-jongg faster?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Yeah. Three muske-queers.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "I don't know. I love her and all, but she's turned into a bitch. Most days she's great, but some days she acts like her mom.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Since when did you learn how to read? I do know how to read, though. Yeah. You know how to read a menu.", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Kevin, in sumo culture, you'd be considered a promising up-and-comer.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Erin just wanted me to have it, so we switched. What? Erin, is that true?", "c": ["Andy", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "When I'm freaking out, I just sort of step back, take three deep breaths. I'm not freaking out. Okay? And then I ask myself, 'is this worth freaking out about?'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Andy, why should she have your crappy computer? Oh, that's interesting. So you also think my computer's crappy.", "c": ["Pam", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Please make sure nobody is humping me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Best day ever. Best day ever. So much is happening.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Question... should I get stripes shaved into the side of my head? No. No. Please.", "c": ["Erin", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Oh, he's funnier than me. He's not funny at all. So I'm less funny than not funny at all?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Okay, bill cosby, Steve Martin, Charlie bit my finger, Michael Scott, then all the way down here, Todd packer.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "'Cause I want to let bygones be bygones, show you I'm cool. You're the new guy. It's cold out. I made too much. That's a lot of reasons.", "c": ["Jim", "Todd Packer"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "The only hot chocolate I'm into is Vivica A. Fox.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "It isn't poison. It's a laxative. People take laxatives all the time. This is just a lot more of a laxative.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Does Edgar Allen poe know about that one? So sinister.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Who is justice beaver? He... it's a crime-fighting beaver.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "I put a sign-up sheet in the conference room, and I signed us up for three mods. A mod is five minutes, and it started two minutes ago, so...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Well, if it breaks all the way, I can get you a new one. Pretty sneaky, sis.", "c": ["Pam", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "There are 400 of these. Yeah, I couldn't cut it down. They're all good.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "'Number three... eat a frog.' That sounds promising. 'Number four... eat a dog.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "'Eat a brog.' Maybe it's 'cause I didn't understand it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Allow all cookies? Why, 'soitenly.' Pop-ups? Yes, please. Bit torrent streaming from a Somalian music website? Yeah, why not?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Oh, I hope you don't get sick, Mr. computer. Why are you doing this to me, Andy?", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Michael, can I open the kimono with you? I've been on the road too long.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "I'm sorry if you were offended by my comments earlier. Well, like I said, I wasn't offended, but I'll stand here for the big show.", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Kevin, I am so sorry. You are skinny, and you're a genius. That... that was maybe too much.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Packer is a survivor of divorce, Stanley. Packer doesn't speak with his child, Meredith. Packer never lived up to his parents' expectations, Andy.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Angela loves pussycats. Packers loves... - No, don't. - I was going to say 'dogs'!", "c": ["Michael", "Angela"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Now I know why jo has kept her eye on you. And you make sure to get down there and check out the Harry Potter world.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "I'm a huge alligator nerd. I can name you every genus, every subspecies. Also, I'm a huge boob nerd.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "All I'm saying is, in about a month or so, have you down to Florida, introduce you to all the local talent.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "I'm sorry about your friend. No. He's an ass. You are. What are you, wicked smaht? No, you are.", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Yeah, you really did, 'cause I know every inch of that warehouse. Yep. Super lucky.", "c": ["Darryl", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "Maybe you could go back down there and see if you can find me some extra sick days. Yeah. You know what? I think I saw one sick day... I think maybe I saw five. Three.", "c": ["Darryl", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "I'm full on corrupt.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "Garage Sale"}, {"t": "And $.10 of every dollar is going into the party fund, so we can throw parties for ourselves.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "It's cold, dwight! / Just shut the door. Let people come in the front. / It's good that it's cold. The signs will drive business inside. The warmth will lure people inside.", "c": ["Dwight", "others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Schrutes are farmers by hobby, blacksmiths by trade", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Through the art of the swap, I will walk out of here with the finest item here. I will trade you for the used candle.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "I love her. I, uh, I actually don't know why I brought that, because it's kind of priceless. $10. Mmm, no. 200. 500. 20. 45. Get lost. Damn it.", "c": ["Jim", "customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "In case? In case of what? Well, you know, in case... Maybe something changes. I don't have an 'in case.' No.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "I am calling because I am going to have to fire your daughter holly, because she's such a terrible employee. I'm just kidding.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "I would like to discuss my intentions with you, which are to ask her to marry me. And I was just hoping that you would give me your approval. And this isn't a joke.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Let me tell you about men like him. He comes over, and you're like, 'hey, baby, let me light a candle,' and you pull out this one. Half used. He's like, 'who else is she seeing? I better lock her down fast.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, I was on dallas. Really? We missed our connecting flight, then we spent a week on hawaii.", "c": ["Creed", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Professor copperfield's miracle legumes? I was in jamaica, and I got lost. And it was getting dark this one night, and then out of nowhere, this guy comes with a cart, Dwight, he told me things about myself", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "So you want to sell me magic beans? Correction. Nice try. No, correction. Terrible try.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Your friend michael, yes. What's going on? Um, I think I know, Uh, is dad there? Hollis? Hi, dad. There was a program on tv about india.", "c": ["Holly", "Holly's mother", "Holly's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Well, who do you have? I have your father. He's right here. I'll put him on. No, mom. Oh, which one's decaf?", "c": ["Holly", "Holly's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Are you proposing? Maybe. Would you light it? Do the honors, please? Yeah, no problem.", "c": ["Ryan", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Michael, you've had two ideas today... And one of them was great, and the other one was terrible. I am not in the mood for riddles, pam. This is terrible. No, this is romantic.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "My mom makes the best pesto in the world. And I always tell her, 'mom, you should sell this. You'd make a fortune.' And she always says, 'no, it's just for family.' Well, finally, I was like, 'f*** it, I'll sell it.'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Pesto party? Really? Anyway, she makes, like, 100 bottles' worth. It's so good. And phyllis just had that 'mom' look I wanted.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "You got this kosher certified? No, I meant like, 'it's cool.'", "c": ["customer", "Ryan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Ryan, you have such an interesting mind. So creative. All these new business ideas and artistic projects. Thank you. What you got there? Oh, it's just stanley's old photo album. I was thinking about throwing it in the garbage. I mean, why would I want some random black man's old photo album sitting on my bookshelf? I'm not james franco.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Things are going very well. I traded a thumbtack for meredith's junk, for kelly's crap, for phyllis's garbage, for oscar's trash, for stanley's crap, for ryan's junk, for creed's garbage, for a very cute squid that erin happened to have.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "I'm really sorry. All right, just out of curiosity, They're legumes, dwight. And you're just gonna make fun of me, so why would i?", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "You called the meeting. I don't I did? Okay. Thank you all for coming. I would like to talk to you today about... Recycling.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "I had a great idea until you ruined it. You want to know how to do it? Take her out to dinner, go down on one knee. If you are in costume, you did something wrong.", "c": ["Pam", "Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "If at any point you find yourself tying a ring to a woodland creature, stop and look at yourself.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "I'm gon' play me a little old blackmail card... Nice. And call a proxy meeting and take control of ewing oil once and for all. No, you can't do that.", "c": ["Kevin", "others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna play this here 'share the wealth' card. Which entitles me to half of both of you all's money. No, this card is from the wrong game. This is from the game of life. It was in the box. Well played.", "c": ["Kevin", "others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "How do you know when it's time? I don't know if you ever know. And if you wait for the day when your parent comes to you and says, 'i can't take care of myself,' it's never gonna happen.", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "I have a box of bras under the table if you're interested. Let me see.", "c": ["Meredith", "customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "It hits the ground, the head pops off. This leads to me saying the line, 'i lost my head when I fell in love with you.' That's a guarantee. Easy enough to get a corpse.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "A gas station? Well, it was when she was working in new york, That must have been a surprise, when, at the gas station, you proposed. No, it was really It was really sweet. It was raining and You didn't say that the weather was bad.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Get this. Kevin thought I was gonna sell my bowflex for $200, and I told him, 'dude, this was a prop in my movie.'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "My dad isn't doing so well. Oh, okay. For how long? I don't know. And I want you to come with me. Now, I Okay. And I was thinking, you know, and that we're both ready... Michael scott, will you No, no. shh!", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Uh... What? No, I am not going to be proposed to in the break room. That is not going to be our story.", "c": ["Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "And that is dallas. Nice. Not bad, right? I can't really tell. I know, right? What the Oh, my god. That It is, right? I mean, it's impossible.", "c": ["Kevin", "Jim", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "All right, I'll take 'em. They're probably worthless. Probably. Leave the telescope.", "c": ["Creed", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "I started with a thumbtack and ended up with a telescope. But in a way, the most valuable thing here wasn't the telescope at all. No. It was this packet of beans, because they're magic.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "How'd we do? $13. That's great.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "So this is one of my favorite places in the world. why? This is where toby announced It was the happiest day of my life... Until the day you came to replace him.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "And this is where we first made love. Michael!", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "When I called you to tell you that I had herpes, and that I was still in love with you. And you said that it was over And thank goodness It was an ingrown hair. Yes.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "This is where we coran our first meeting. Remember? Obesity awareness? Saved a lot of lives that day. That's where you first met michael klump. Oh, I sayI say I sit on you.", "c": ["Michael", "Holly"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Holly, will you marry me? no. Marry me, holly. no. That guy's got more than he can handle as it is. Will you marry me? no. That marriage would be a sham.", "c": ["Michael", "various coworkers"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "It started with a broken", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Holly flax... Marrying me will you be? Your wife becoming... Be will i.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "Holly has to go back to colorado. I'm going with her. I'm leaving.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "Training Day"}, {"t": "To beginnings and endings. And to middles. The unsung heroes. And to moms. The moms of the troops.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Colorado? Yeah. Sunshine State. Yep. Don't mess with Colorado.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "No, no. I don't want to end up like Sonny Bobo. Everyone I know who skis is dead.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "You know, it's funny. I actually tried to get an animal Olympics going. Really? What happened? You know, life happened.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "What are you gonna miss most about Scranton? Oh. Wow. The mountains, where things are.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I'm at the bar, the bar that's located in the lobby of the hotel. I do not see you. How long have you... I've been here about, gosh, over half an hour. Okay, yeah, me, too.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I hear your voice in the phone. And that's... Man! And... Oh, brother. Michael Scott. Deangelo Vickers. Wow. That is insane.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I have heard that it is impossible to become addicted to vodka. That is true. That is true. Vodka is non-addictive. Most of the higher spirits are undetectable. It's because of the potato.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Are her breasts different? No panties on this one. And I think the sail was folded differently.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "You know what would be a great Onion headline? 'Cancer prevents cancer.' That's so Onion. I know! It's so you, but it's also so Onion.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Well, this is it. What do you think? She'll do. Oh, she'll do just fine.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "We should write a movie or something. I'm serious.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Do not talk to me until I have had my coffee. Until I've had my coffee, do not talk to me.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 3.98, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Coffee keeps me regular. That's the best time of the day. I give it about seven minutes. Seven minutes from this. Beeline. So at 8:37...", "c": ["Deangelo", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Nope, it's not Ashton Kutcher. It's Kevin Malone. Equally handsome, equally smart.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "The Adventure Pals by Deangelo Vickers and Michael Scott. Oh, my gosh, it's 150 pages long.", "c": ["Michael", "Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "As you know, one of my favorite things is fanfare for its own sake.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "You may call them Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah. I call them heaven.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I have a peanut allergy, something I live with. It's a part of me. I've learned to cope with it.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Did I want to be made manager? Sure. A great opportunity squandered? Absolutely. A crushing blow? Yes. Will I get over it? Mmm... No. But life goes on. Not for me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "That story makes you sound stupid. I happen to like the hilarious high jinks that I get myself into.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I always carry around a couple of these. Just in case, 'cause, you know, sometimes you need to ID yourself.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Office funny guy. Always glad to have an office funny guy around. I wasn't even trying to make a joke.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "This is Jim and Pam, a.k.a. Jap.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "What started as an affair has blossomed into a family before our eyes. Well, it wasn't... It wasn't an affair. Yes, it was.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh, well, we just have the one, but she poops for four.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Someone started off on a good foot with the new boss. Yeah, they don't ever talk about careers that were made because of unplanned pregnancies.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Meredith has shown me her breasts on three separate occasions.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Best right-hand man in the business, but you better buy a taser to keep him from wiping your butt.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I got these at the store. Apparently it's one of the most popular brands in the United States. Chips Ahoy!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Try to keep my daily caloric intake under 1,200. Deangelo, you're going to starve to death.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "So you decided to have an orgy and not invite me? Come on. I call middle.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "'It's one of my favorite regions.' Did I just sound totally lame? Oh. I sounded good.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Along the north rim of the Grand Canyon is a forest as lush as you've ever seen. Burned. It's lush, dummy.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Hey, Deangelo, what do you think about bald people? I hate them.", "c": ["Kevin", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "There's no turtle, Michael. I just wanted to get you here. You know me very well, Dwight.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Now, I'm gonna have to go online and look at turtles or else I'm gonna be off the whole day.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I have been Robin to your Batman for 11 years, 11 glorious years, Michael. But at a certain point, Robin needs to become Batman. Batman scares me, Dwight.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I didn't know Dwight wanted to be manager.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "And we turn back, and she has spelled out the word 'Ass' in the blocks. So we're laughing, she's grinning... It was so funny. Kids are a riot. They really do say the darndest things.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Try it without using your name. Dunder Mifflin. This is. Oh, yeah, I like it.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Erin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Well, you know, whatever... Yeah. Whatever you think would work. What do you... Yeah. I think a change would be nice. You could do the old way or the, you know... Whichever one you want to do.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Come on, you maggot. Bye-bye, calories. Don't stop, now. No one's stopping me.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Don't hug me. No! Get away, get away.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Well, the water's pretty cold. A lot of octopuses out there. Well, I've been taught by the best octopus hunter in the biz.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "No, not officially. I saw you coming out of the bathroom earlier. Well, I guess I'm gonna go back to my cave.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "And that is what they call a meet cute.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "What do African Americans call the... What? I don't know. Help me.", "c": ["Andy", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I saw a hawk today. It was just sitting right there on the overpass, looking at me.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "And this is Erin, and she's going to shave my face. Here we go. This is how we do it.", "c": ["Michael", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "We sort of do more of like powwows and what-ups. God! Okay, well, powwows, then.", "c": ["Jim", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Enough about your baby, okay? I'm sorry. Well, we were just... I think she was just trying to... No, no, no, I know what you're doing. Just quit it.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I mark it urgent 'A,' urgent 'B,' urgent 'C,' urgent 'D.' Urgent 'A' is the most important, urgent 'D' you don't even really have to worry about.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I do think that there is a web of racism and/or jealousy that is trying to keep me down.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Deangelo's great. I love the guy. But I'm not sure he's a good fit for the office. And also, I'm not sure if I love the guy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I saw this thing in the news. Democrats want electric cars. Republicans don't. Right. I'm thinking, how crazy is it that we got a car debate going on in a city known for gridlock.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 4.72, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Now that's funny. That's funny. You walk much?", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "You know, let's not go overboard with the redecorating. And I'm still here, so...", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Technically, it only holds about 3 quarts. A little factoid.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I think right now, I'm going to change this supermodel back into Kevin Malone. Oh! There he is. Oh, my God!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "That's hot coffee. Drink some soap. Eat some hand soap.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I guess this is my life now.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Now you're a lame duck. Yeah, well, you're a retarded owl. And Deangelo is a fat cow.", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "This curly-haired idiot used to be so fat.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I didn't have 10 seconds a day. I was too busy eating.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Tapas is a cuisine for groups. Not with me. Tapas party of one.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Looks like you went over the tapas with food.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Keep in mind, I was naked.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Guess how much weight I lost. Two hundred and two pounds? 203. I beat it by one. I beat it by one.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "If he can lose all that weight, then I can wear fake hair.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "And thank me for bringing it up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "What recommendation? From when he recommended me to replace him. Um...", "c": ["Dwight", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "If you're gonna go whale watching on the East Coast, you might want to bring a magazine called West Coast Whales. Because you're not gonna see any.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I missed the O.J. verdict. Had to read about it in the paper like an idiot.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Listen, you're the one who decided to leave. Come on, he's our new boss. You know we have to do this. Okay. Well, who needs them? Looks like it's just you and me, Dwight. Correction. Just you.", "c": ["Oscar", "Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Why did you have to be so damn good? I... I'm adequate.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Get your senioritis on. It's Lake Havasu time.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I guess I've been working so hard I forgot what it's like to be hardly working.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, that baby could be the star of a show called Babies I Don't Care About.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Michaels Last Dundies"}, {"t": "Surprise! Congratulations! You and Pam have both been nominated for Dundie Awards.", "c": ["Michael", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Have you lost your mind? Get off my property before I call the police.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Hey, Toby, you suck!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "This reminds me of Katrina.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I'm so busted. Walk of shame.", "c": ["Michael", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "No, no, no, you've got to stay. I have Vienna sausages and I have napkins. Let me fix you breakfast.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I'm not going in there.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Maybe volunteer at the women's shelter, go to bed. Or, I don't know, maybe I'm going to the Dundies!", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "When Larry King died, they didn't just cancel his show. They got Pierce Morgan to come in and do his show, and that way, Larry lives on.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I love when people say 'like crack' who've obviously never done crack.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "The breadsticks are like scrapbooking.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "No, I'm a middle-class fraud.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Always the Padawan, never the Jedi.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Unless you count singing in the shower.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I love banter. But I hate witty banter.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "You lost 200 pounds, and I lose my car keys every morning.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "There needs to be what you call a 'rat-tat-tat.' And right now, it's all 'rat' and no 'tat.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Why don't you ask my therapist? My mom certainly pays her enough.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Where were you on September 11th?", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "If I want mind control over him, is that too much to ask?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "When I was very young, my mother divorced my father and I had to go to court and choose between them. Too personal. I don't want to hear about that stuff.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "The Dundies are all about coming together, and recognizing the indomitability of the human spirit!", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I just don't understand the desire to push sweet potato fries on me. I just want regular fries.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I eat lunch in the car now. It's my alone time.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I really don't like spending time with him.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, that just wasn't interesting to me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I can't just dump him, Pam. I'm not like you. I can't be mean.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Billy Crystal? Better. Neil Patrick Harris? He's in Little Shop of Horrors on Broadway.", "c": ["Jo", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "My boyfriend can. He's a state senator. Oh, no, he can't help because that title has no meaning.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Oh, I totally don't know where Michael is, dude. Hey, you want to listen to some records?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I've fallen and I can't get up.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I'm here. In a good way. I've been here the whole time. The analytical part of me wants to examine it. But I know it has no content.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "You're doing it for all those kids out there eating off the Louie Volpe's kids menu who are wondering, 'Does it get better?'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "We were at the DMV waiting in line.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Fall asleep right after sex. Huh, guys?", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Cece, if you're watching this at home, it's way past your bedtime. By the way, how'd this get televised?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Didn't think to mention me, huh?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "This person, well, I guess we all sort of consider a mom around the office, Meredith Palmer!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I'll tell you one thing, I'm not going to be a good mom tonight.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Year after year, I catch a lot of flak on this particular award because year after year, I present this award to a guy instead of a girl. Hottest in the Office goes to Danny Cordray!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "How do I feel about not winning Hottest in the Office this year? Um, I'm very relieved. How do you judge something like... What is his criteria, even? It's so subjective.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "The Diabetes Award goes to Stanley Hudson! Come on up here, you sick bastard.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I have diabetes, too. You don't see me making a big deal about it.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I want to dedicate this award to something that, uh, we take for granted in our daily lives, and that is the humble trash can. This is for you, trash can.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Pippi Longstocking, Ronald McDonald's wife, Ron Howard, Ron Weasley. What do they all have in common? Redheads.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "This is the first award I've ever won in my entire life. People were right about the Dundies, they are magical.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Gabe... We should break up. I'm not attracted to you. I just... I cringe when you talk. I have to be honest. Right, Pam?", "c": ["Erin", "Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Here comes that quarter-life crisis everyone's talking about.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I was in the bathroom, vomiting and vomiting in that men's room. That's why it has been shut down for most of the evening.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I was hoping it would be more like Godfather III, that wrapped up the whole franchise in an extremely satisfying way, but instead, it is like Godfather I, that was very confusing, had maybe three big laughs.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Gladly. I'd accept that award, because a bitch is a female dog.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "9,986,000 minutes / We actually sat down and did the math / 9,986,000 minutes / That's how many minutes that you've worked here", "c": ["All employees"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "That's like watching Die Hard 80,000 times", "c": ["All employees"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "You hit me with your car / You helped me get off drugs / I watch you when you sleep / I forgive you for kissing me", "c": ["All employees"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Well, this is going to hurt like a mother.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "I am a little happy right now to have a platform to talk about the outcome of a case that I was recently a juror on, the Scranton Strangler. A man's being put to death, I was part of the verdict, and I'm not so sure he's guilty anymore.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "Goodbye, Michael"}, {"t": "Just up here getting used to the altitude.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Thank you. Like a butler.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Wow, those do not taste like oysters. That's because they're not oysters. They're bull testicles! I cut them off fresh this morning!", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Sick freak. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? I'm the sick freak? Yeah. After what you did, you expect to be buttled?", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Where did you hear that? Obvious, XM radio?", "c": ["Dwight", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Great idea. ...in order to feed the bears. Especially if you think that life would be better without legs!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "You in tight pants, Michael, are a salami to a black bear. You're like a giant walking salami.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "How about a pepperoni? Any kind of meat you can possibly name.", "c": ["Michael", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Was thinking I might glue a stapler on top or put a hole here and stick pens in it.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "You know what, take my favorite truck, sure. You know what... It's your last couple of days. I'm gonna get out of your hair.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Dead man walking.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I've seen some horrible things. I own over 200 horror movies.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Hi, Tuna.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "You guys are filming people when they go to the bathroom now?", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "What's wrong with cupcakes? Everything.", "c": ["Unknown", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "The dream team and Meredith.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Fudge it up.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Michael bought himself a 'World's Best Boss' mug", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I still need something to drink out of, though.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I thought he knew about the baby I gave away.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "You have to hand wash without water, wring dry gently, and use a hair dryer on cool.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Where's the rest of it? It's got no balls.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "You know I'm the worst salesman here, right? But you're the best salesman on the inside.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "You sold us all on Andy. A product that nobody wanted.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I used to be obese. Once you've conquered obesity, everything else is easy. Life literally moves in slow motion.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I'm not saying I'm Superman, but let me just put it this way, if I were shot in the head, I'm pretty sure everything would be fine. I almost welcome it.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Don't be a caricature, Kevin. Never be a caricature.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "You will be thin. You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Michael, I'm pretty much okay with who I am now. Don't be. You should never settle for who you are.", "c": ["Kevin", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Michael, I just lost Porter Hardware! I just... I lost them. Okay, you know what? Just do your best, buddy.", "c": ["Andy", "Michael"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "It looks like it was made by a two-year-old monkey on a farm.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "He has the lowest opinion of me of anybody.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Was it just me, or did you think we were gonna have sex at some point? It was just you.", "c": ["Michael", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "State senator.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Walk away, bitch.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Mountainton, I think.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "It's not supposed to shred magazines, Kevin. I know. Did you break the shredder, Kevin? No.", "c": ["Oscar", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I don't think my credits are gonna transfer.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I just figured out where I was supposed to go to vote.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean this? Yeah. Yes, my hero. I'll pay the rent.", "c": ["Holly", "Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Kelly? What? If I just went away right now, would that be the best gift that I could give you? Yes, please.", "c": ["Michael", "Kelly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Please go away and stop using that weird, slow voice.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "What do we want? Erotic. See? This is what happens. You can't let a street dog into the house.", "c": ["Meredith", "Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I know these Ethiopians that run a cake shop. Good God. They make these cakes that are wild.", "c": ["Meredith", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "As a person who buys a lot of erotic cakes, it feels good to be represented on one.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "You know, we don't really care about your opinion. You're just a tie-breaker.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Someday, you are going to tell our grandchildren about how their grandfather won you back in a women's room.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Well, no, he hates jams.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Here's a chapter called 'Gum.' With one sentence. 'Everybody likes the guy who offers them a stick of gum.'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Darryl said I could use the baler because I'm leaving. No.", "c": ["Michael", "Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Catch you on the flippety-flip.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Multiple repetitions of 'Catch you on the flippety-flip'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Is there an animal shelter on the way? Yeah. Awesome! Ani-ani-shelto.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I've only got enough cash to buy a sandwich or get drunk.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Staged dog rescue scene for client presentation", "c": ["Deangelo", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Maybe neither. I'm not attracted to Kevin.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "The dictionary defines 'superlative' as 'of the highest kind, quality, or order, surpassing all else or others. Supreme.' If I wanted the dictionary definition, I'd buy a dictionary.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Lots more like that. Really repetitive.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "2:45 behind the building, paintball.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I can say that he is no Michael Scott. I can't sit here and tell you that he's gonna be a success.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "You ever play Russian roulette? Time to spin the chamber, Boris... By signing up for another year.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Whether you're scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don't be. It's going to be okay.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "A little cover-up on your Adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I could tell you that he has a steel plate in his head, or that he's crazy, but the truth is, I think he's just a terrible salesman.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Hi, everybody! It's Ping! And I'm here to say goodbye to all you wonderful people. I 'rove' you all.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.25, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "T-shirt idea. 'Goodbyes stink.'", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Best boss I ever had.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "I actually don't understand deathbeds. I mean, who would buy that?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "Why did I just do that? This is not even that good. I don't even want it. I had cake for lunch.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "No! Uh-oh. No!", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "The Inner Circle"}, {"t": "If you don't like 'em, this is called a door, you can walk right through it.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Full ride, deal with it. Seriously? Stone-cold seriously.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "They are trying to figure me out, and I don't like it. Once they figure me out, they start to tell me what I want to hear.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Don't thank me. Hey, don't thank me, guy.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Here's a bowl of ice cream, you either like it or you don't. That's my attitude right now in this room, that's my attitude on 'Ice Cream Thursdays.'", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "But I could see how some people might think that they're bad.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "That is a... An astute observation, Kevin. Kev's got me pegged.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Kevin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "I found your new executive assistant, my friend, Carla. She's got great experience, we even considered making her Cece's godmother, but she had this boyfriend at the time.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Oh, there is an inner circle. Oh, yeah. There is no inner circle.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "I also say that because I am also in the inner circle.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Did you get that, ma? Your boy, Kevin Malone, is in the inner circle, which doesn't exist.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "It's just that I own the coffee shop. So once you've seen sausage being made, all you wanna do is make sausage 'cause it's so much fun.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "No matter how many times I reach out to Dwight, he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. It reminds me of my relationship with my son. Except there, I'm the Dwight.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Or my other idea, 50,000 tiny clients.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "That's Toys 'R' Us, I think. No, that's definitely a knockoff. You can feel the center of gravity is off.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "So, to make things simpler for Deangelo, I just, without lying, strongly implied that I'm Kelly's supervisor.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you lie all the time. You lie for no reason. Ryan, you just like to lie. I'd die for you, too.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "You know, I have a cousin who cracked the secret formula for a certain popular cola that I shall not name. So I've never had to buy it. True story. I just drink my cousin's.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Congratulations on your one cousin. I have 70, each one better than the last.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Yes! No! Yes! Yes! No! No! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... Uh-oh.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "This former administrative assistant misspelled 'administrative,' and 'assistant.'", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Under special skills, Mr. Don Finer put juggling. What's wrong with juggling, Darryl? I'm a big juggler. I actually perform a motivational juggling routine.", "c": ["Deangelo", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "What would you say this room is? 300 square feet? 320? Three-twenty, just free-balling it. It's a little cramped. How many square feet out there? Seventeen, eighteen hundo?", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Sorry, I never touch another juggler's instruments.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Why don't I just do my routine without the juggling balls? Prepare to go into the danger zone.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Phyllis, where's Phyllis? Here. Do you believe in me, Phyllis? Yes. 'Cause I believe in you. Feel that connection?", "c": ["Deangelo", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "He didn't drop a single ball.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "What could he possibly stand to gain from a fake juggling routine? What could he possibly stand to gain from a real juggling routine?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "I wrote my own companion piece to The Vagina Monologues, called The Penis Apologies. So I know a thing or two.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "And if he doesn't listen, then he can kiss his penis goodbye. Snip-snip. Am I right, girls?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Oh, like, nobody, it was... Pam? Was it Pam? Oh, my gosh. That sounds like Pam. You know how she gets. Kevin, she can get really bitchy.", "c": ["Jim", "Deangelo", "Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Raise your hand if you have a vagina. Raise your hand if someone you love has a vagina.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "What about Deangelo's hand? Oh, wow. He's got 'em both up.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "NBA, WNBA. One is a sport, one is a joke. I love sports, I love jokes. Room for all.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "A law office? No, Anthropologie. 'We don't have this and that size.' Pretty lame.", "c": ["Jordan", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yup. Wow. No corporate experience whatsoever. I didn't want anyone with any bad habits.", "c": ["Jordan", "Pam", "Deangelo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "What's up, man cave?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Jim watching through window, clearly wanting in but unable to enter", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Tell your whore to leave me alone!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "So this is my life until I win the lottery or Pam finally writes that series of young adult books. So, one afternoon while walking home from school, quirky 10th-grader Becky Walters finds a wounded Pegasus in the woods. And she becomes 'The Horse Flyer.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "No, he's just a big fraud, Deangelo. He's like Rango. He doesn't work here, basically, just like the way Rango didn't save those animals. It was just a big misunderstanding.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "I did not see Rango.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Total brain burp. I'm no MJ. Please. I can do his dunk from free-throw line, though.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Mad respect from a brother! The man is paying me to take Chinese. I will say what I need to say. And soon, I will say it in Chinese.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Only because no one has called NASA to request a lift off.", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "If I wanted to see a pissing contest, I'd lock Mose in the chicken coop.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Damn it, Dwight, enough! Get your ass downstairs, or find a new place to sell paper!", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Okay, a little about me. I respond to strong leadership.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Deangelo falls and hits his head attempting the dunk, lying motionless on basketball court", "c": ["Deangelo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "Who should I say is calling? Erin.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager"}, {"t": "All in favor of the knapsack filled with canned goods, chainsaw, gasoline and emergency radio in case he wakes up post-apocalypse.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Nope. Baskets have it.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "So as it turns out, unless you're a young child, or a prison inmate, you don't need anyone supervising you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Must be because the stakes are so high.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Dwight Schrute. Yes, I would. DWIGHT: Thank you. Jordan, gather my things from my desk.", "c": ["Jo", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Wait.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "What have you done?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "You'd slow me down.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "No, a week. Just feels like three months.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Let's see. We all have to punch into a time clock, which is very old, very strong, and has the slot about the size of a finger.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "We were all given new business cards, big enough to set us apart from the competition. Which is how I learned that our titles are all now junior employee.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Mine's at 10:30 and I find that the first hour of the day goes by a lot quicker than the second seven hours.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "ALL: I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.", "c": ["Everyone"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Your copier code is a distinct 21-digit number that is unique to you and you only, okay? Don't share it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Question. If we've already fomented insurrection, may we be grandfathered in?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Define 'foment.' You define 'foment.'", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Ah-ha! Oh, my God! What is wrong with you? Got you!", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "It's none of your business, actually. It's very medical and personal.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "You stop me when I reach the diseased area.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "In fairness, Darryl did tell me that joke, so... Oh! Darryl's funny.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Andy, do you like being alone with me right now? No, this is horrifying.", "c": ["Gabe", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "No, I don't like being alone with me, either. Okay?", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "No, just give me a second. I don't want anyone to know I've been crying.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Like the French Revolution or The Black Panthers or communism.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "God, I hate when everybody calls us a rebellion.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, it's a bad day, what with Operation Overthrow and everything.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "You're gonna love it. It's Beyonce falling with a fart mixed in.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "I will never be happier than I am right now. I will also never be less happy. I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Acting manager.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "You mean the frozen mice for the piranha? No, the blueberry slurpy pouch. Hmm. He means the ice pack.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "I don't believe in horoscopes. I don't believe in Christmas. I sure as hell don't believe in God.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Or it could be. It's possible that that is exactly what God is.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Do we not have voicemail? Dwight doesn't trust robots to give us our messages.", "c": ["Erin", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "but it was a challenge being touched by him.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Wow, you've really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "The desk is a replica of Uday Hussein's desk. I saw a picture in Newsweek.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "I promised other people that I'd be on my worst behavior. And I gave them my word, so...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Don't make me pre-fire you. You wouldn't dare. Watch this. You're pre-fired. And when I'm promoted, you'll be full-fired.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "And if you haven't fallen in love with me by then.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "But I always say, 'It's better to be pre-pre-pre-prepared.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "As your pale skin and severe bone structure imply, you'll age swiftly and poorly.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "What a day. What a day.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "I don't know. I guess he's saying that he's proud of me.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Why do you need to keep wearing those booby shirts all the time?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Why would I put a banana in my holster? In case you weren't hungry now, but you got hungry later.", "c": ["Dwight", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "There is a hardwood floor underneath this carpeting. Why would they do that?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "No, that's not true. Actually, we heard a loud noise, later a hole was seen. No one saw the bullet leave the gun.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Everybody, Oscar found a reason to look on WebMD.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "No! We really shouldn't be without a receptionist. Now more than ever.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Yee-haw! Woo-hoo! Howdy, partners. It's me, Gun Safety Dwight.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "I can't do this.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "What hand was I holding the gun in? What did Andy's tie look like? Navy blue, little red anchors. I have no way of knowing if that's true.", "c": ["Dwight", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Managing you for this last week has been the greatest honor of my life. And if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "I love you guys, but don't cross me, but you're the best.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "I don't feel good about it, but he just kept calling himself a gunshot victim, and it got to me.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "? Why did my temporary boss go on a shooting spree? ?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Put everything back in the vending machine, except the fruit.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "And when I cough, can you do jazz hands? What's jazz hands? Fine.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Just like a man, wants to jump right into it while I still got my socks on.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Hey, Andy, did you tell Erin about our conversation earlier when you said you would never want to date her again?", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "You were in hysterics and my maternal instincts kicked in.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "That is between me and my diary.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "KEVIN: I don't feel anything. DWIGHT: It's wet. Push harder, Dwight. I can't. I can't push harder.", "c": ["Kevin", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "But don't eat it.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "You've got to admit it, it's nice to have a little power, eh? How's it feel?", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Beaumont Adams is a girl's gun. That just makes it plain stupid.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius.", "c": ["Jo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "But I will say, in your one week, every single one of the orders went out on time and I think that is shagadelic, baby.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Could you turn the volume down on the beeping? Shut up, Oscar.", "c": ["Unknown", "Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "I hit three, I hit three instead. God!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Search Committee"}, {"t": "Planking is one of those things where, hey, you either get it or you don't. And I don't. But I am so excited to be a part of it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "He drove down to Florida and convinced Jo to make him CEO. CEO... Her own job. He talked her out of her own job and I don't really know how someone does that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "True, I might have been the second choice, but I was the first choice's first choice.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "This has got to stop. - I can't get down. Ke-- Kevin!", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I've upped my karate to eight times a week. I've added boxing, lunches and on weekends. I do kickboxing three times a week, krav maga four times a week, an hour of meditation every morning at sunrise, and again at sunset.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, pregnant. Right here. Little Michael Scott. - Nope. I told you I don't like that joke.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Look! It's, uh, little pregs and big pregs.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I'm having a child with my husband the senator, and Pam is having a child with Jim... The great salesman.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "It might be easier if you take a deep breath, lift from the knees, and shove it up your butt.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I came up with a new thing this summer. I act like I'm telling someone how to do something. I go on with a long description and then I say, 'and shove it up your butt!' It's stupid, but it's my thing now.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Kids, don't try planking. It's dangerous. Especially with me around.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "The new CEO works out of the conference room about half the time. But whenever he takes a break, he does these weird walks around the office. And you never know who he's going to zero in on for these really intense small talks. You just hope it's not you. And yet you hope it is you too. It's strange.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Erin, when you recount your day, never say you woke up, it's a waste of your time. That's how every day has begun for everyone since the dawn of man. - Very smart. Very smart. Suddenly... I was awake.", "c": ["Robert", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "First item on the agenda-- Can I get everyone an extra long Columbus day weekend? Item number two-- Connect with the guy. Robert California-- What does he think of me? Don't know. Super care. Number three, time permitting, we lost our biggest client.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Kind of a medium year for women's soccer, no?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "We don't need a warning signal, Kevin. I can see him right there. We do! - I promise you, we don't need-- - Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!", "c": ["Jim", "Kevin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Really great list of names, guys. Thank you so much. Good work.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "This is if we were all on a cruise ship and had to divide into lifeboats. And this is if we were on a cruise ship and had to divide into life rafts. Here's something. Who would eat who in alive situation.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Don't be such a right-sider.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Some people doodle at work when they let their mind run. They draw houses, penises... Funny how the houses are always colonials, and the penises are always circumcised, don't you think?", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Well, you take the first letter from each name, assign it a number, add 'em all up, and shove it up your butt!", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Attack! Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop. Will you stop? Dwight! Dwight! Go for it!", "c": ["Andy", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Pizza party! \u266a Pizza party \u266a \u266a pizza party... \u266a", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Ours is a cultural ghetto. Wouldn't you agree? - Yeah. She does like elmo. - 'Cultural ghetto'? Totally, totally agree. - Completely. - Apt. Apt analysis, Robert.", "c": ["Robert", "Jim", "Others"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "The thing that I like about elmo is the tickling. - I should not be here. I'm in the-- I was in the wrong-- I'm...I'm sorry. Uh, just picture me back there. I-I was never here.", "c": ["Kevin", "Toby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Well, why don't you ask me again when the five pizzas get here? - Yeah, well that's just pizza. You need at least one other element for it to be a party.", "c": ["Erin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I guess I think they're losers. - Ah, I knew it. Yes! - Probably shouldn't have said that. - Whoo! Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Robert", "Dwight", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "'Suck it, losers.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I used to be young and cute and sort of funny, and... I could do those cute, little cartoons. And everyone who came through here was like... 'Who's that receptionist? I like her.' Now I'm just a fat mom. And you take one look at me and you're like, 'oh, loser.'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Chins up, okay? - Bad joke.", "c": ["Erin", "Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Just-- just take the-- take the casserole out of the-- Loser. Take it out of the refrigerator and put it in the oven. Uh, it'll be fine. Just leave it in for 20 minutes. Loser. Losers.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "When I was a salesman, I could just be like, 'not my job, not my prob. I'm going to the warehouse to Polish my knob.' Metaphorically, of course.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social clues, and then inevitably reframing it all in a reassuring way so that you can get to sleep at night. No, I do not believe in that at all.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Stanley-- You may think he's a lazy grump, but did you know that he has the most consistently high sales numbers of anyone in this office? And you may think he's hard to love, but did you know that he's in, not one, but two long-term romantic relationships?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Meredith Palmer, supplier relations-- The word 'no,' not even in her vocabulary.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "And you are aware that Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of native Americans. - I don't care.", "c": ["Robert", "Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I mean, maybe it's stupid. - No. It's wonderful.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Kevin suddenly speaking in caveman-like broken English: 'Me doing now! Go. Stop worry.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Kevin's physical description: 'Me feel good. Body strong. Sleep big last night.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Oscar's pretentious interpretation: 'It's an ironic comment on our expectations of him. A funhouse image of our model of Kevin.'", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Kevin's mechanic analogy: 'Me mechanic not speak English. But he know what me mean when me say, \"car no go,\" and we best friends.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Kevin's philosophy: 'Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.67, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Jim's comparison: 'The speech equivalent to just wearing underpants.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Kevin's response: 'Sometimes, words you no need use but need-need for talk-talk.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Time-saving irony: 'Does it save time, though? 'Cause we've been here for about an hour.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Kevin's time philosophy: 'Many small time make big time.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Kevin's life goal: 'See world.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "The SeaWorld confusion: 'Kevin, are you saying \"see the world\" or \"seaworld\"?'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Kevin's clarification: 'See world. Oceans, fish, jump. China.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Kevin's presidential ambition: 'When me president, they see. They see.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "The Sabre Pyramid tablet introduction", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Marketing slogan: 'unleash the power of the pyramid'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Memory measurement confusion: '50 L' and 'How many L to a K?'", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy interrupting for tie advice during important meeting", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's nickname system: 'C-span' for Oscar", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Explaining the nickname: 'Cocker spaniel. Spaniel 'cause of your Spanish bloodline, cocker 'cause...'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Dwight's strategy: 'I'm going to not care. And I'm gonna sit around quietly waiting for Andy's inevitable demise.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's Neil Patrick Harris reference confusion", "c": ["Andy", "Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Kevin quoting Andy calling his ex-wife a [bleep] and saying he [bleep] hated her guts", "c": ["Kevin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's song about shower sex with his ex-wife", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's ice cream guessing game with Robert", "c": ["Andy", "Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "The cold coffee incident - Erin serving old coffee as 'cold beverage'", "c": ["Erin", "Robert", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy claiming he's 'been craving a freezing cup of old coffee' to cover for Erin", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Robert's business philosophy about personal service vs superstores", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "The doubling sales demand and Andy's overconfidence", "c": ["Robert", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Jim and Pam's suggestion to talk about how children grow up fast during business meeting", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Jim suggesting 'Fart' as a business solution", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's leg falling asleep during his own meeting", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy singing 'Rub a dub dub with the apricot scrub' while working", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Darryl's sexual innuendo about barely being able to walk", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Dwight's beet farm struggles: 'We made some inroads in salad, but heirloom tomatoes are pushing back'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Pam's parenting magazine obsession: 'This is Cece's favorite magazine. She loves the pictures of babies. She looks at it when she's on the potty'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's incentive prize reveal under the blanket", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Oscar asking 'Is that a vibrator?' about the prizes", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's escalating tattoo promises: dress (500 points), naked run (1,000 points), ass tattoo (5,000 points)", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Doughnut on dingdong description for the 1,000 point reward", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "'The stern of the old SS Bernard' - Andy referring to his butt", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Stanley's motivation transformation from naptime to active work", "c": ["Stanley", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Jim's big sale netting 120 points while claiming not to care about points", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy calling his business school professor about 'classic ass-tattoo incentive situations'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Tattoo design: 'I'm not as think as you drunk I am'", "c": ["Staff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Alternative tattoo: 'Do not resuscitate'", "c": ["Staff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Phyllis's baby coming out of butt tattoo design suggestion", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's realization: 'But my ass is only so big. I mean, I can't do this every day.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's declaration: 'Let's ink my stink!'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's philosophy: 'My heart belongs to music. But my ass belongs to these people.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Andy's reaction to cotton swab: 'That was just a cotton swab.' 'Invest in softer cotton, sir.'", "c": ["Andy", "Tattoo Artist"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Robert's analysis: 'Because he's all surface, uncomplicated. What you see is what you get.'", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Final tattoo reveal: 'It's a nard dog.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Robert's final observation: 'There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional.'", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Angela calling social services on Pam for drinking herbal tea while pregnant", "c": ["Angela", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "The Incentive"}, {"t": "Snowboarder, it figures. Do snowboarders hate animals? I bet this guy didn't leave his weed in the car.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Here, I'm going to get in my car. When I start dying, I will honk the horn three times. That means save the dog.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Dwight, at least aim it. [trying to give water to dog through broken window]", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Don't try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Oscar breaking car window and subsequent chaos with dog", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Nein. Sitz! Gut.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "The warehouse crew won the lottery yesterday. $950,000. And then they quit.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "This is it. This is all on my shoulders. I'm the one who has to tell everyone to get back to work.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "When I worked in the warehouse, I was part of that lotto pool. They won playing my birthday.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "We're looking at, at least one suicide and one weird sex thing.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Hey, Pam. Let's buy expensive bathrobes and hug.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "I'd either bike to my job at the kayak shop or I'd kayak to my job at the bike shop.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "And then on the weekends, would you hacky sack back to reality and spend time with your wife and kids?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Soho's mostly lofts, but okay.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Stop. I'm a barista in your fantasy?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Well, in your fantasy, we're Stephen King characters.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Get a divorce.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Obviously, I wouldn't come in till noon. And I wouldn't do anything I didn't want to do. I mean, I'm getting paid $1 a year, okay? You can chill.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "To down here, like Mr. T. And this would get seriously annoying.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "I'm not checking e-mail till lunch. Four hour work week.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Jim, how about you? Yeah. I mean, as the strongest person in this office, I guess I should... Okay, no, no. That... You are so not... Oh, God.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Well, guess what? I will not do a good job.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry. I thought it was a guess-your-baby's-birth-weight pool.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "You really think I'm going to have a 14-pound baby?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "They guys did invite me out to celebrate, but I decided to just stay home. Eat a bunch of tacos in my basement.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Now it smells like tacos. You can't air out a basement. And taco air is heavy. It settles at the lowest point.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "That is not Darryl. I don't know where Darryl is. I suspect, probably, our Darryl is inside of Fat Darryl.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Negative. Three hundred boxes for me, zero for you chumps. Deal with it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "What? No Newhart fans? Okay.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Glenn is starting one of those fat camps where he steals your kid in the middle of the night. Madge and a couple other guys might start a strip club. But on a boat. And Hide is investing in an energy drink for Asian homosexuals.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Maybe grab a coffee, or if there's any donuts out, you can split one. You know, they're for everybody, so people get fussy. You know what? Just have a donut.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Grunting is scientifically proven to add more power. Ask any female tennis player, or her husband.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Don't just take the first job that comes your way. 'Cause next thing you know, it's 10 years later, and you're still there. You could write your obituary tomorrow. It's not going to change.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "I've never been lucky. And I'm not talking about the lottery. I'm talking about stuff like developing a soy allergy at 35. Who gets a soy allergy at 35? And why is soy in everything?", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Everyone wants to be rich, but nobody wants to work for it. You came in at 10:30 today, right?", "c": ["Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Is this a joke? No. Not joking. This is real. Painfully real, what is happening right now.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Well, they whipped people, which was helpful. But you're right.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Like baboons or elephants.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, my sisters used to butter me up and slide me across the linoleum floor of the kitchen.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "I like it a lot, but they hate it, so drop it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Then I think you should fire me. I'm not going to fire you. Yeah, just put me out of my misery.", "c": ["Darryl", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Who's the most jacked guy in all of Scranton? Like your wildest fantasy guy? Bulk or definition? Definition. Bruce Kenward. He hangs out at Planet Fitness.", "c": ["Andy", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "But Dean got fixated on his calves, and, uh... And his triceps went to hell.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Because I'm never going to act like that, even in your fantasy. Nope, you're doing a great job of it in my fantasy right now.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Hey, idiot, what did Erin want again? A hot chocolate tea.", "c": ["Michael", "Nate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Also, FYI, I don't technically have a hearing problem. But sometimes, when there's a lot of noises occurring at the same time, I'll hear them as one big jumble. Again, it's not that I can't hear. Because that's false, I can. Um, I just can't distinguish between everything I'm hearing.", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "So sadly, it's the best idea on the table. Exactly. Hey, I think we're ready to get this... Jim? Is he okay? He'll be fine.", "c": ["Kevin", "Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Would you just fire me, man? Because you didn't win the lottery?", "c": ["Darryl", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Make me manager or fire me. The job was mine, Andy. Everyone said it was mine.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Also, Darryl, FYI, I already told this to Andy, but you should probably know I technically don't have a hearing problem. It's just when there's a lot of noises... Nate. Please.", "c": ["Nate", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "He didn't die, his brain died.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "My future's not going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. It's going to be determined by two big black balls. I control my destiny.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Tell them why it's called se\u00f1or Loadenstein. Doesn't matter what the name is. Se\u00f1or Loadenstein, that's stupid. Tell them why it's called that, Jim.", "c": ["Kevin", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "Porque es muy r\u00e1pido.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "I already won the lottery. I was born in the US of A, baby. And as backup, I have a Swiss passport.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "I would spend a lot of time launching my true crime podcast, 'The Flenderson Files.' Duh-buh-bum.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "We're going to live in a stunning pre-war brownstone at the top of a mountain. Right, it's city and country combined.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "It's too bad the schools are terrible, but what are you going to do about that? What are you going to do?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "Lotto"}, {"t": "If there's an opportunity for a graffiti artist to work in a... Phallic shape, interacting with the artwork, it'll happen. And Andy... Gave them that opportunity.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Great billboard! Funny, edgy, right up to the line without crossing it. Loved it. Which one did you see? Washington street. The one with like 20 dongs on it.", "c": ["Creed", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Schrute farms is very easy to find. It's right in the middle of the root-vegetable district. If the soil starts to get acidic, you've probably gone too far.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "What happens when we're done chewing? Do we spit it out on the floor or keep it in our mouths the rest of the time?", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "This is not a picnic, Phyllis. It's a garden party. There's a grill in the warehouse I could bring. Ugh, please don't. Not a barbecue. It's better than a barbecue. It's dignified, quieter, there are rules. How is that better than a barbecue?", "c": ["Andy", "Phyllis", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Connecticut casual. Any chance Connecticut casual is Pennsylvania business? I.E., this is what I'm wearing to your party.", "c": ["Andy", "Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Yeah, whoa, who's the sausage?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I cannot believe that Andy is throwing a party like this just to impress the CEO. Classic Gabe move. Hey, Andy, how about you don't steal my business strategies and I won't dress like my life is just one long brunch?", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "They don't warn you when the cameras are driving by.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I'm actually really disappointed in how poorly my book is doing. I've only sold one copy.", "c": ["James Trickington"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Philip? Philip is the name that we're using. It's after my favorite cat. It's after my grandfather. It's after my cat. It's after my grandfather.", "c": ["Angela", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "One, a pot of marmalade. Oh, that sounds great. Well that-- that is what you want then, the marmalade? Sure. You don't want to hear the other one? You love marmalade? I'll hear the other one. It's a basil plant!", "c": ["Andy's mother", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I'm the valet. You have to give me your car. You know what, I can probably park it myself. You have to give me your car. It's probably okay that I park it myself. No, I think it's probably better that I-- I'm the valet. You have to give me your car. Get out of your car. Get out.", "c": ["Dwight", "Guest"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Have a good time at the...Thing. It's a little tricky. You might want to be careful-- [CRASH]", "c": ["Guest", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Mr. Ryan Howard! Chapter two, announcing guests as they enter is height of decorum. The more volume displayed, the more honor is bestowed upon everyone present. Stanley Hudson, and his mistress Cynthia!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "James, Pamela, and... P.P. Halpert!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Mabel, mabel, if you're able, keep your elbows off the table.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Well... Technically for Andy. Technically for Robert California. He's our CEO. I thought you were the CEO. I don't know how you got there. You said you were running the company. This branch. I'm the regional manager. Oh, that makes more sense.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam", "Andy's parents"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Did I throw this party to impress my parents? That's crazy. Now, if they wanted a garden party, they could throw one themselves. Which, as a matter of fact, they did last week. They threw one for my baby brother. And it was totally amazing, but I couldn't care less.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "What are you going to see? Moneyball. Walter Jr.'s choice.", "c": ["Andy", "Andy's parents"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Tuna! Right? And this must be your lovely wife, Pam. No. Hell no. She wishes. No, no, no, no, no. No.", "c": ["Walter Jr.", "Jim", "Pam", "Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Chapter four, one of the host's most important duties is as dance master. A proper courtly dance sets the tone for the entire afternoon.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "R-r-Robert Califor-r-r-rnia!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Oh, I thought you were going to bring the marmalade. No, I'm certain you said, 'basil.'", "c": ["Andy", "Andy's mother"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "This is not funny, man. Let me down. I think this thing is broken. It's not broken, Kevin. This is how it works.", "c": ["Kevin", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Toasts are great. I mean, you toast somebody, they toast you back. It just goes round and round. That's my favorite part about toasts. The reciprocity.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I think we should be acknowledging our boss because none of us would be here without him. Robert California. To Robert! Yay, Robert!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I cannot believe I didn't think of toasting Robert. Get in the game, Gabriel.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I would like to toast someone who isn't here, but who will be in just four short months. Welcome to the world, Philip lipton! I also would like to toast Philip Halpert... Who's due even sooner.", "c": ["Angela", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "May he be a good namesake to my grandfather, who I promised as a child, long before tonight, that I would one day name my son after. She just always has to copy anything I do! It's the Ford Taurus situation all over again.", "c": ["Pam", "Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I'd like to make a toast to the troops. Here here. Yes. All the troops. Both sides.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, the last supper. Chapter nine, the tableau vivant is not only welcome, but expected entertainment at any garden party.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "You people say I led you. But it wasn't me. You want to toast the man who led you to success. But the boss is irrelevant. Andy and I produce nothing. We do nothing. We sit in our offices and demand, 'I want this and that, right now,' like petulant children.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "You know the difference between a crying baby and a manager? One day, the baby will grow up.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "But without you, Andy and I would be sitting in our dirty diapers, waiting for someone to change us, wipe us. I should be toasting you, thanking you for allowing me to have the easiest job in the universe.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "\u266a Saying I love you, is not the words-- \u266a It's too high. Yeah? Right? It's high, but it's not that high. Right, it feels strange. Just take it down. \u266a Saying I love-- \u266a \u266a saying I love you-- \u266a You know, just give it-- Just give it to me. Yeah.", "c": ["Andy", "Andy's father"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Is anyone filming this? Seriously? Erin! Yeah, it's either taping or calling.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Get up there and sing or I will cut your larynx and you'll never be able to sing again.", "c": ["Andy's father"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "What are you doing there, buddy? What's going on? Cheers, cheers, cheers. Get your own guitar.", "c": ["Andy", "Andy's father"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I am so cold. That's because you didn't bring a jacket.", "c": ["Andy's mother", "Andy's father"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "My first love is beet farming, but it's a young man's game. Whoever heard of an old beet farmer?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "The pewter package has the least amount of goats. It's not no goats. Still 10 to 12 goats depending on the availability of the goats. Now, the goat package obviously has the most goats.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Of course I am not interested in goats. Why would you spend so much time going over the goats with me? I can get you exotic meats. Hippo steaks, giraffe burgers. We'll talk. It'll all be goat.", "c": ["Robert California", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Hello, Cece Halpert? This is Andrew Bernard. I'd very much like to speak with you about your paper supply needs. That wasn't even my worst sales call.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I'm not going to tell you how impressed I am that you're a manager of some rinky-dink branch of a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania.", "c": ["Andy's father"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I think if I had parents like that, I'd be trying to convince everyone all the time how great I was too. Guess we found Andy's rosebud. Rosebud? It's a reference to citizen Kane.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I know citizen Kane. Rosebud didn't explain why he was how he was. It just represented what was important to him as a child that he missed. That school of thought-- Let's just agree to disagree. No. You're wrong. Are you sure? Yeah.", "c": ["Oscar", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "My body has somehow become acclimated to Southern Italy. Isn't that strange? I've never been there.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Bye, tuna! Bye, Pam!", "c": ["Walter Jr."], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Cheeseburger or hamburger? Um, cheeseburger? Nard-dog.", "c": ["Oscar", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I think I left my wallet in your house. Who cares? Right here. Mr. James Halpert! Keys, forgot my keys. Stop forgetting things. I didn't forget them. They're right here. That was stupid. Mr. James Halpert! So sorry. I forgot that thing. Idiot. Mi-- what are you doing?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "Who do you think is really the best salesman in this office? That's a stupid question. Obviously... Mr. James Halpert!", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Garden Party"}, {"t": "I've three simple rules. Don't be offensive, don't be cliche, and don't take the first two rules too seriously.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Oh! Wow. Spoiler alert! It's been out for ages, man. Costume vetoed.", "c": ["Andy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Why can't there just be two Kate Middletons?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "I stayed up all night, and I watched that GD wedding, and then I came to work and I made everyone else watch it all day. Meredith wasn't even here. Because I was there.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "I thought you were at your sister's funeral. What I said was, 'my sister's funeral is this weekend.' Didn't say I'd be there.", "c": ["Angela", "Meredith"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Warms my heart, thinking about them two kids... Doin' it.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "When they talk about all the nice things about dating a coworker, they don't mention one of the best parts. After you're done dating, you still get to work together every single day.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Kevin started crying, so...", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "What are you, some kind of Jamaican zombie woman? / Whoopi Goldberg. / Has no one here heard of Kerrigan? From Starcraft? Queen of blades?", "c": ["Ryan", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Every Halloween, I tell him the same thing. You can't bring weapons into the office. And every year, he says the same thing. 'Soon as I get my weapons back, I'm gonna kill you.' But there I am at Thanksgiving, alive, you know? I'm the lucky turkey.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Everybody looking good? This is-- this is the best we can do? I'm not judging, I... I think you guys look great. I just...Wanna make sure. This is the best we can do?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "I just got a text from Broccoli Rob--'boo!' It scared me. And then I got this text from Robert California-- 'looking forward to Halloween party. Expectations are high.' Scared the [Bleep] out of me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Oh, I just wanted to see how you do it. If you're doing something I don't.", "c": ["Andy", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "That Andy. So hot and cold. One day, he's like, 'fax these documents, please.' Then the next, he's like, 'Pam, you fax them. Who cares what Erin's feeling?'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Pam, how would you rate me as a receptionist on a scale of one to three? / Um...Two? / That's, like, the second to last thing I wanted to hear.", "c": ["Erin", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Bob and I are doing the Scranton Haunted walking tour. I always wondered what kind of people went on that thing.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Wait, they have food there?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "My wife does not believe in ghosts.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "I had just told you about the day that I met the blue angels. I figured you had to top it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, looks like we're under a Jack attack. Yes, Andrew. And you, on this day of fantasy, are...A laborer.", "c": ["Robert California", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Hey, Bert. / Hello. / Can I use a computer? I need to check a hurricane.", "c": ["Jim", "Bert", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "How did you know I was bringing my son? / Oh, I didn't. It was for us. / That stuff's for babies. / Well, perhaps this party will awaken the baby in all of us.", "c": ["Robert California", "Erin", "Bert"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Wow, who shot our grownup party with a kiddie ray gun?", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "\u266a dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones \u266a \u266a now we're the skeleton crew \u266a", "c": ["Toby", "Gabe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Just fine, Kelly? Everything all right? / So there is something you want that you do not have. / I try not to think about it. Because it's too terrifying to imagine.", "c": ["Robert California", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Never marrying. / Yes. Dying alone, that is very scary.", "c": ["Kelly", "Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "And how are you, Toby? / So great.", "c": ["Robert California", "Toby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "So can we speak our minds now, or are we still sparing feelings? Because I hate all of this.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Very low pressure in the Sargasso sea. Warm air from South America. Cold air from Greenland. All signs point to the perfect storm. / Yeah, perfectly mediocre.", "c": ["Bert", "Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "I am Kerrigan from Starcraft, I've been censored. / If you're gonna be a Zerg, at least be a lurker, not some girl. / Kerrigan is ruler of the Zerg Swarm! / Yeah, she also has boobs. / Yeah, but no nipples.", "c": ["Kelly", "Bert", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "November's sure creeping up, ain't it? / Can't stop that month.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "And maybe we could mix a little more 13 into the PG.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "But that's it? / There's nothing about me, or...I?", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Remember that Halloween party you took me to once? The one where I started crying as soon as I walked in, and I didn't stop crying? / Yes. Lars and Takako's.", "c": ["Erin", "Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "I will make this sexier than you could ever imagine. / No, just scary. / If we wanted ideas for scary stuff.", "c": ["Gabe", "Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Hey, it's Jim Halpert. I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie tonight, 'cause I've read a lot about this really great documentary. / Is it called Ghostbusters? / It's called Ghostbusters.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Dwight, are you eating a stick? / It's a root, idiot.", "c": ["Unknown", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Everyone hates you. / That's really rude. / I don't tell you hurricanes suck even though it's true.", "c": ["Dwight", "Bert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "What's the vaccine you could take to avoid a hurricane? Open up a newspaper. Oh, look, a hurricane's coming.", "c": ["Bert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "I'm only scared of real things, like serial killers and kidnappers. Not things that don't exist, like ghosts or mummies. / Mummies are real. There are mummies at museums.", "c": ["Erin", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Why on earth would a museum put a mummy in it?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Get out of here, little kid party. Nobody loves you. And clean up your room. Grown-ups are gonna use it later.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "I'm about to play Starcraft with him. / Are you serious? / Yeah, I'm serious. It's funny.", "c": ["Kelly", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "You know, I guess nobody would believe it still fits.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Hey, guys, I'm an Oscar... Liar... Weiner.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Party's tight, E. The fog is cool. / Thanks. It's on medium.", "c": ["Darryl", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "The cinema of the unsettling is a growing film movement. The most well known film in the genre is an hour long shot of a squirrel with diarrhea.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Is that my grandmother?", "c": ["Bert"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "This game is called pecker poker. It's the game of cards that gets you har--", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Why didn't you simply ask Andy to clarify? Asking is a very easy thing to do. The two of you are obviously very close. / Oh, I see. This no longer seems like my business.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Did you think I was gonna fire you? / No, I wasn't. / I'm sorry, this must be really uncomfortable for you. / I'm never uncomfortable.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin", "Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "31. / Wow. / I'm so happy for you guys. Um, let me know when you get to 40.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Jim doesn't let me wash his NFL Jersey during the playoffs, how is this any less logical?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Really. / That is just a bunch of people participating in a collective thing that maybe the eagles will hear about and wanna play better.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "You wanna attack, or let them come to us. Your call, B. / Unleash the hell storm. / Nice. / Got him. Go!", "c": ["Kevin", "Bert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Is she Asian? / I don't know. She's from somewhere, I bet. / Maybe from the forest. / Forest? / Did Andy say his girlfriend's from the forest?", "c": ["Kelly", "Phyllis", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "You don't live as long as I have without a healthy fear of snakes, Bobby.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Like, a few years down the road, Cece says, 'mom, there's a ghost in my closet.' Now you say one of two things. One-- You're just having a bad dream, or two-- Let's go see what it wants.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Creed's horror story about Lydia and the baby with mummies and snake", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "'I'm fine, bitch. I'm fine.'", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us? How dare we let it into our decision-making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships?", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Wanna see the dance? \u266a dem bones, dem bones, dem-- \u266a / You're fired. / What? / You heard me. Pack your things. / I'm the CEO's son. Pack your things. You're done.", "c": ["Toby", "Bert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Spooked"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody! It's closing time! You all gotta go home but you can stay here.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Otherwise, you go home and the night just feels like more day, it's weird.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Oh, my boss is singing closing time. Maybe that's what you're hearing.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Let's see. Andy has been manager for 105 days. Which means I've heard closing time 105 times. Still don't know the words.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "\u266a Ah wah dah wah home and home and home \u266a", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "You know what? Fine! I try to start fun traditions for you guys, but if you don't wanna sing, no traditions!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "\u266a Closing time \u266a \u266a every new beginning \u266a I never heard that song before. And once I heard it, I did not care for it. But that songs means it's time to go home. Now it's my favorite song.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "- Who's your favorite iron chef? - This report is atrocious.", "c": ["Robert California", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Did you need something from us? Yes. Your attention. Uh, because... No. That is all.", "c": ["Andy", "Robert California"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Last night, I dreamed that the number two was the most valued number in the world. The vice president had all the power, athletes fought for silver medals. Women were considered the best gender. And stadiums of fans shouted 'we're number 2!'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "As with all my dreams, I'm guessing it was about my fear of immigrants.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Chalk that one up to tweedle Dee and tweedle dum out there. Who are they? They're both Kevin.", "c": ["Dwight", "Robert California"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Oscar is the sex and the city gang.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Sometimes I feel like you don't know me at all. I would agree with that.", "c": ["Dwight", "Robert California"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "When I come back next week and this report show me no mistakes, we can talk about names all day. Our favorite names, silly made-up names, normal names said in a silly voice. Wouldn't that be nice?", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "And you can't have a favorite iron chef. It depends entirely on the secret ingredient.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Sometimes I feel you don't know food at all.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "- Maybe justine. - Bah! Nope. Not justine. Never justine. - Is that off again? - Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Are you really this lazy? I'll be there.", "c": ["Val", "Gabe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Mondays suck. Yep.", "c": ["Gabe", "Val"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Ah, I should've used a shorter string. Never mind. I know it by heart.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Do not go there! You're the deuce I never wanna drop.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "I'm not technically seeing her, but I've seen her-- with the eyes-- and there was attraction in at least one direction. So...", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "It's gonna be hot and heavy, and I don't want a bunch of bureaucratic red tape wrapped around my jock, you know?", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Yeah, we had a whole conversation about mondays.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Toby, I'm gonna tell you her last name tomorrow because she's gonna be screaming it tonight. She's gonna be screaming her own last name?", "c": ["Gabe", "Toby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Five strikes in a day equals a homerun. One home run and you're out.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "something bad happens, like we block mindsweeper.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "\"Robert's favorite songs, Creep by TLC, Creep by Radiohead.\" Remember that one, Jim?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "\"there's no way he hasn't strangled at least one stripper.\" Oscar.", "c": ["Dwight", "Oscar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "\"He eats his yogurt like he is punishing it for disappoint him.\" Kelly.", "c": ["Dwight", "Kelly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "\"P.S. We should kill him.\"", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Wait, so you installed a doomsday device? No, it's an accountability booster.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "They're making me out to be a Bond villain. I like to think of myself as a brilliant scientist who will stop nothing to remake the world... Like... Not Dr. Moreau. Someone good. Dr. Frankenstein. Dr. Jekyll. Not them. Doctor...", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Oh! There's one mistake. Now we only have four strikes left until a homerun.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "It's not a race. Thirrr-- Third.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "It's for protecting my ass when you suckers lift more than you can handle.", "c": ["Warehouse worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Look at this. This is enormous. Oh.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "I got the sense that Val enjoys a good put-down. Considering that's the only thing I know about her, I will be milking that hard.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "The Michelin man called. He wants his cummerbund back.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "When the stake are this high, there's only one computer that I trust, and it's powered by thai food and spanish reds.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Try something like, um, z64$8. Not that exactly, Jim. Something like that.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "How about 'Scranton strangler 666'?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "What's Dwight's mother's name? Um, Hedda. No.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "A $100 bill. Should cover it, I think.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Don't bring me any of that caramel soy latte crap, okay? I want a decaf frappuccino. Val? Actually, Val, why don't you come with?", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Well, I was saving this for my retirement, which I guess is today.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Can you tell me now where paper comes from? Uh...The man tree puts his penis--", "c": ["Dwight", "Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "I'll make sure to write you a glowing reference. Glowingly negative.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Pam, you should come with me. Dwight really likes you and...Your breasts are enormous. That can help us.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Guys, come on. I'm right here.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "What does it look like I'm doing? Digging a grave for a horse.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "If you hit another horse, you dug too far.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Oh, wow. I forgot how pretty your house is. This is the newest addition built by Erasmus Schrute in 1808. It doubled as a tuberculosis recovery room until 2009.", "c": ["Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "That's too much doodle and not enough lab. Yeah, when are they gonna do a labradoodle that's just lab?", "c": ["Pam", "Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "So tonight I was thinking I'm gonna go to the cemetery, I'm gonna drink a little wine, and I thought maybe you'd like to come with me.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "I could quit. Problem solved.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "I know how to save the company, everyone. Just write a petition. Get everyone's signature, including our clients. March down to Florida... And shove it up your butt.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Oh, Pam, you got something on your shirt. Oh! Oh, well. Pobody's nerfect, right?", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Did you just have a stroke, Pam? It's nobody's perfect. Nice stroke, Pam.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Sive drafely. Isn't it supposed to be drive safely?", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Right now? Yes. Here you go. Whoa, no, wait, wait, whoa! Oh, man, I'm sorry. What the [Bleep]? Sorry. Jesus.", "c": ["Jim", "Robert California"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "They're not my favorite people in the world. I wouldn't even call them friends. They come over here, eat my pie, dig the crappiest horse grave you've ever seen. God, I'm gonna have to work with them forever, aren't I?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Classic, right? Ooh. I'm all right. You all right? Yep. Skinned knee. Yep.", "c": ["Jim", "Robert California"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "Doomsday"}, {"t": "Otherwise, you go home and the night just feels like more day, it's weird.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Andy has been manager for 105 days. Which means I've heard closing time 105 times. Still don't know the words.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "\u266a Ah wah dah wah home and home and home \u266a", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "You know what? Fine! I try to start fun traditions for you guys, but if you don't wanna sing, no traditions!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "I never heard that song before. And once I heard it, I did not care for it. But that song means it's time to go home. Now it's my favorite song.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Who's your favorite iron chef? - This report is atrocious.", "c": ["Robert", "Corporate Consultant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Sometimes the infer-- Sorry. Go ahead. Mm-hmm.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Did you need something from us? Yes. Your attention. Uh, because... No. That is all.", "c": ["Jim", "Robert"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Last night, I dreamed that the number two was the most valued number in the world. The vice president had all the power, athletes fought for silver medals. Women were considered the best gender. And stadiums of fans shouted 'we're number 2!'", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "As with all my dreams, I'm guessing it was about my fear of immigrants.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Chalk that one up to tweedle Dee and tweedle dum out there. Who are they? They're both Kevin.", "c": ["Consultant", "Robert"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Oscar is the sex and the city gang. And Angela, if you can picture-- Sometimes I feel like you don't know me at all.", "c": ["Robert", "Consultant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "When I come back next week and this report show me no mistakes, we can talk about names all day. Our favorite names, silly made-up names, normal names said in a silly voice. Wouldn't that be nice?", "c": ["Consultant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "And you can't have a favorite iron chef. It depends entirely on the secret ingredient. Sometimes I feel you don't know food at all.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "I'm just saying with the NBA lock-out, I think roller derby's in a really good place right now.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Maybe justine. - Bah! Nope. Not justine. Never justine. - Is that off again? - Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Darryl", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Are you really this lazy? I'll be there.", "c": ["Val", "Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Mondays suck. Yep.", "c": ["Val", "Gabe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Have I not been worthy of your trust? Have I not been a reliable number two? Do not go there! You're the deuce I never wanna drop.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Whom I'm seeing is Val from down in the warehouse. Oh. I'm not technically seeing her, but I've seen her-- with the eyes-- and there was attraction in at least one direction.", "c": ["Gabe", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "It's gonna be hot and heavy, and I don't want a bunch of bureaucratic red tape wrapped around my jock, you know?", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Yeah, we had a whole conversation about mondays.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Toby, I'm gonna tell you her last name tomorrow because she's gonna be screaming it tonight. She's gonna be screaming her own last name?", "c": ["Gabe", "Toby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Five strikes in a day equals a homerun. One home run and you're out.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Robert's favorite songs, Creep by TLC, Creep by Radiohead.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "There's no way he hasn't strangled at least one stripper.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "He eats his yogurt like he is punishing it for disappoint him.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "P.S. We should kill him.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Wait, so you installed a doomsday device? No, it's an accountability booster.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Which when it goes off, it destroys everything very similar to a doomsday device.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "They're making me out to be a Bond villain. I like to think of myself as a brilliant scientist who will stop nothing to remake the world... Like... Not Dr. Moreau. Someone good. Dr. Frankenstein. Dr. Jekyll. Not them. Doctor...", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "There's an easy way to tell if this device is a sham. We just make a mistake. I'll send an order down to shipping before we've received payment. Oh! There's one mistake.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "It's not a race. Thirrr-- Third.", "c": ["Darryl", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "It's for protecting my ass when you suckers lift more than you can handle.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Look at this. This is enormous. Oh. I got the sense that Val enjoys a good put-down. Considering that's the only thing I know about her, I will be milking that hard.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "It's like a hula hoop. Right? \u266a Mele kalikimaka is Hawaii's way \u266a", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "The Michelin man called. He wants his cummerbund back.", "c": ["Val"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "When the stake are this high, there's only one computer that I trust, and it's powered by thai food and spanish reds.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "How about 'Scranton strangler 666'?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "What's Dwight's mother's name? Um, Hedda. No.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "A $100 bill. Should cover it, I think. Don't bring me any of that caramel soy latte crap, okay? I want a decaf frappuccino.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Well, I was saving this for my retirement, which I guess is today.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Uh...The man tree puts his penis--", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Good luck finding a new job, idiots. I'll make sure to write you a glowing reference. Glowingly negative.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Pam, you should come with me. Dwight really likes you and...Your breasts are enormous. That can help us.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "What are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? Digging a grave for a horse.", "c": ["Kevin", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "If you hit another horse, you dug too far.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Oh, wow. I forgot how pretty your house is. This is the newest addition built by Erasmus Schrute in 1808. It doubled as a tuberculosis recovery room until 2009.", "c": ["Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "That's too much doodle and not enough lab. Yeah, when are they gonna do a labradoodle that's just lab?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "So tonight I was thinking I'm gonna go to the cemetery, I'm gonna drink a little wine, and I thought maybe you'd like to come with me.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "I could quit. Problem solved.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "March down to Florida... And shove it up your butt.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Oh, Pam, you got something on your shirt. Oh! Oh, well. Pobody's nerfect, right?", "c": ["Kevin", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Did you just have a stroke, Pam? It's nobody's perfect. Nice stroke, Pam.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "I haven't heard that before. That's-- that's funny.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Thanks for everything. Sive drafely.", "c": ["Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Isn't it supposed to be drive safely?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Oh, man, I'm sorry. What the [Bleep]? Sorry. Jesus. Did it break?", "c": ["Jim", "Robert"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "They're not my favorite people in the world. I wouldn't even call them friends. They come over here, eat my pie, dig the crappiest horse grave you've ever seen. God, I'm gonna have to work with them forever, aren't I?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Classic, right? Ooh. I'm all right. You all right? Yep. Skinned knee. Yep.", "c": ["Robert", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Pams Replacement"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Kill me!", "c": ["Unknown Employee"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Oh! I'm going into labor!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "I know it's wrong to fake going into labor just to get out of things, but sometimes it's necessary.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Or should I have corndogs. I mean-- I'm going into labor!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Okay, three reasons you are wrong about true blood. Number one-- I'm going into labor.", "c": ["Unknown Employee", "Pam"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "can't keep saying you're going into labor. Everyone knows you're full of it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Okay. I'm really in labor! This is happening.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "False alarm.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Business is war!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "So today I'm turning the inspire-factor up to ten, with a little help from my friend-- America's bloodiest battle.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "The Civil War history industry has conveniently forgotten about the battle of Schrute Farms.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "What's the halal option?\" \"Dates, tabbouleh, and a bagel with cream cheese.\" \"Out.\"", "c": ["Stanley", "Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "You know, it's the same as the Kosher option. There's a lesson in there.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "You're not my slaves. Thanks to Gettysburg.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Guess I'm a sucker for historical fiction.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "And-- Oh. You missed your head. There you go.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "a little foreplay before we do it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Ooh. Isn't the the one where the guy becomes Limitless?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Limitless! Limitless! Limitless! Limitless!", "c": ["Office employees"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Robert, you got your sheep and you got your black sheep, and I'm not even a sheep. I'm on the freaking moon.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Fun fact-- In France, they call Limitless \"The Man With Many Capabilities.\"", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Unless you're going on the very specially-created and meticulously-researched Andy Bernard Tour.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "They stopped in this field for a picnic, which they called lunch.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "it makes the battle of Gettysburg sound like a bunch of schoolgirls wrestling over a hairbrush.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Really? Why don't you tell us the real history, Gore Vidal.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "I don't know who that is, but I'm gonna to tell you this--", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Raw fish-- The disgusting food from Japan that Americans would never want to eat. Now we can't get enough of it.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Origami. It's the Sushi of paper.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "\"Papyr.\" Paper for women. It's pink, scented, and silky soft.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "The situation you described, returning home to a wife complaining about her paper being too masculine, is not one I'm familiar with.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "In the African-American community-- No.", "c": ["Darryl", "Robert"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Apparently, I bear a passing resemblance to Abraham Lincoln. Makes it kind of hard for me to go to places like museums, historical monuments, elementary schools.", "c": ["Abraham Lincoln Impersonator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "I don't see it.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Some people call me the Great Emancipator, but, uh, you might know me from the penny.", "c": ["Abraham Lincoln Impersonator"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "At this point, when you're this pregnant, it's kind of like senior spring. The other day I spit my gum out on the carpet.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Well, you know how in the vending machine they have the chocolate chip cookies in the A1 spot? They do that 'cause they think a-1's the best spot for the best cookie. But the real best spot is D4.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Okay, we are now on a planet where Kevin is the most creative person around, and I am just some good-looking guy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Oh, perhaps a trip to the theater will enliven my spirits. No!", "c": ["Abraham Lincoln Impersonator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "'Kay, so another thing about oatmeal cookies-- Who even wants them? I mean, I've seen Toby eat one, like, once, but other than that... Like, forget it.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "How about that two-hole-punch letter? Only the lawyers want that punch at the top, and they use legal.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's what I had for breakfast, and I think that's probably why I'm still hungry.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Hunger for hamburger. Hunger for chicken chimichangas. Right, Darryl?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "I commissioned this flag for Dunder Mifflin. Cost me $200. Only $200?", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Andy, this in inappropriate. People died here, man.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "You know, all I had for breakfast was oatmeal, yoghurt, um, coffee, orange juice, and toast. Two poached eggs, and then that half a sandwich on the bus.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Said you weren't gonna look back.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "You have to understand, poets, artists, dancers, these kinds of men preferred peace to war. These delicate, lovely men found a place of refuge among the Schrutes at Schrute Farm.", "c": ["Archivist"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "I like to think of Schrute Farm as, uh, the underground railroad for the sensitive and, well, fabulous.", "c": ["Archivist"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Never trust a cookie with a woman's name. Pecan Sandie. Lorna Doone. Madeleine. Oh, they'll just break your heart.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Every time you buy a Big Mac, yet set one ingredient aside. Then, at the end of the week, you have a free Big Mac. And you love it even more, because you made it with your own hands.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "It was just actually cookies the whole time.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Our office has a disease, and it goes by many names-- Sarcasm, snark, wisecracks. You take things that people care about, and you make them feel lame about it with your jokes.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure \"DM does GB\" means something kind of sexual.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "I need her like I need a hole in the head.", "c": ["Abraham Lincoln Impersonator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Gettysburg"}, {"t": "Wow, your hair is really thinning", "c": ["Unknown coworker"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Picture someone doing something heroic. Now, was he sitting or standing? Not counting FDR", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Every second you sit there is an hour off your life", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "I feel like you're in a suicide cult", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Hey, guys, let's just all admit it, okay? Dwight's better than us", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Taking a load off, huh? No. Putting a load on, more like", "c": ["Dwight", "Coworker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Think fast. Ha ha... That's real creative", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "I could. I just don't feel like it, loser... Because you're sitting? Standing", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Andrew Baines Bernard... I love filling these out 'cause it's like Oh, I'm taking a test but I know the answers", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Under no circumstances can that be allowed to happen", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "But if I were you, I wouldn't hire his wife", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "That's why my foundation, the Dream For A Wish Foundation, is gonna put them out of business", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "We're 100% staffed up... Andy, let's see if there's a good fit first then we'll talk", "c": ["Andy", "Robert California"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Your path from obesity begins right here", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "I used to say I wanted to live long enough to see a black president. I didn't realize how easy that would be. So now I want to live long enough to see a really, really gay president or a supermodel president", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Chairs wear out faster. It takes more freon to keep them cool. They flush the toilets more often. Plus, their massive BMs bust the rivets on my pipes", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "But a gym turns fat into cash", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "It's actually Ryan... Oh, Ryan. Yeah... Bitch", "c": ["Susan", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "I was watching a movie and Meryl Streep had two secretaries... I was watching a movie and a bunch of apes took over San Francisco", "c": ["Erin", "Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Sales is really not so hard, okay It's paper. We have it, and they want it so bad they are willing to pay for it", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "It's the second-easiest job in the world... Being a mom", "c": ["Dwight", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "What I wouldn't give for one of Phyllis's classic room-clearing farts right now", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "This is not a gym. This is like a scene out of Saw V", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Obviously, you know how a gym works. So you know I'm not gonna pay money for this", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "I am the CEO, and I am telling an employee of mine what to do. Let me beat around the bush for a second", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Say 'hello, grandma.'... Hi, gam-gam", "c": ["Robert California", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "You numbskull! You were given a very simple task", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "We promised we'd never say good-bye", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "We have a gym at home. It's called the bedroom. Who's spotting who?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "You gotta get the black people to do it to get the white people to do it. Then you gotta get the black people to stop doing it", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Who walks around with their passport? Well, I do. Always ready for adventure. Have you had any? No", "c": ["Susan", "Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "How can we do that? She's simply wonderful", "c": ["Unknown coworker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "I know exactly which stapler to give her", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "That's Gerald... Oh, wow. So cute... Is he in a ladle? Yeah, he's in a ladle", "c": ["Angela", "Susan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Excuse me, waiter there's a dog in my soup... It's not that kind of ladle", "c": ["Susan", "Angela"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Last time I had a job, I remember I hated the boss' wife. Of course, she was married to Robert", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "I should step out, get to the ATM before that homeless man sets up camp for the night", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Okey-dokey, artichokey", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "My husband can be a very difficult man to read, can't he? Yes. The dude is an enigma", "c": ["Susan", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Is that the same philosophy you apply to buffalo wings? I want you to bring that same buffalo wing passion to this gym", "c": ["Dwight", "Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "I'm gonna make you look like Lebron James... It's Lejon Brames", "c": ["Dwight", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Robert storms in and he says 'In four seconds my wife's gonna be in here, I told her she could work here, Under no circumstances can that be allowed to happen.' You lying son of a bitch", "c": ["Andy", "Robert California"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "He just rolled out and crawled out", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Creed, I was never here, all right? Okay. What about your friend?", "c": ["Jim", "Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "You wish that every exercise was strutting around the gym like the Fonz? Well, how do you think the Fonz got so cool? He stretched his pelvic bowl", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "She literally makes me work harder. She makes me smarter. She makes me remember why I'm here. And between us she's on maternity leave right now and I would love to leave this room and see her face", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "You're nothing! You're so weak! You call yourself a man? This doesn't help me. I don't respond to that kind of strategy", "c": ["Dwight", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "To look good for Val... Val Kilmer? I don't buy it that doesn't make any sense", "c": ["Kevin", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "I am gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "Mrs. California"}, {"t": "Andy claiming to be 'the first office Santa ever to make holiday wishes come true'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Stanley's list of weird Christmas themes: 'A Honolulu Christmas, a Pulp Fiction Christmas, a Muslim Christmas, Moroccan Christmas, Mo Rocca Christmas'", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas'", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'I got Stanley tickets to see Lewis Black for his birthday. Might not have been the best idea'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'I want Christmas. Just give me plain baby-Jesus-lying-in-a-manger Christmas'", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Andy giving Jim property on the moon 'Directly adjacent to the Sea of Tranquility. Beachfront.'", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'She's not your grandmother is she?' 'Gam-Gam's name is Ruth, Jim'", "c": ["Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'Only thing that's not serious by the way, our repartee'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'I love Jessica, and I haven't even met her yet. It's like, we don't even need to meet, you know? I already love you. Stay home'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Kelly offering to be mean to Jessica: 'It's really no problem. I was already planning on being mean to her'", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'I feel like a kitten being cradled by a gorilla'", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Robert's analysis of Black Eyed Peas: 'It's rock and roll for people who don't like rock and roll. It's rap for people who don't like rap. It's pop for people who don't like pop'", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'Okay, the weak always bully the strong, contrary to what you see in the media'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Andy saying 'Moe-nay' instead of 'Money'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'My ex is meeting my sex. Which is always scary. You know? And not just because you think they might talk about your penis. That's just part of it'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Erin's scoliosis explanation and spontaneous demonstration", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Darryl's popsicle explanation: 'Yeah, like, upstairs people 'Cause you got a stick up your butt'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'I will look so handsome for you, Darryl'", "c": ["Unknown warehouse worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'I get really pranky when I drink'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Meredith's elaborate shot peer pressure speech to Erin", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Jim giving fake credit card numbers over the phone as bait for Dwight", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'So Dwight did take the bait. He used my credit card numbers to send a $200 bouquet of flowers to my wife. From me. Boom'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'You usually dress like a Ghostbuster'", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Dwight's porcupine attack story with 'toothbrush and tooth powder'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Toby's Chad Flenderman description: 'Just an easy-going black guy who knows the streets, yet he also went to Oxford. So just as comfortable on a motorcycle as he is on Air Force One. And he's also the world's leading Egyptologist'", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'Toby, nobody cares about your sex-crazed black detective' 'No, no, no, no, no women chase him. He misses his wife'", "c": ["Michael/Ryan", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'Porcupines don't have souls. They're like dogs'", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'That's how the cool kids say \"get a drink.\" - reverse spit'", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Erin's death wish for Jessica: 'I wish she was in a graveyard under the ground with worms coming out of her mouth'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'So which one are you, a murderer or a liar?'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Jim's fake concern over the defaced photo of Cece, then revealing it was probably an accident by him", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Andy's philosophical question about friends who aren't sleeping together staying friends", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'Jessica, did you just fart?' 'And that is how it's done'", "c": ["Kelly", "Jessica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Robert's description of Chad Flenderman: 'Chad Flenderman's kryptonite... We got a real Clarence Thomas here'", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Meredith's treasures vs junk argument: 'It's my valuables' 'It's junk' 'No, they're my treasures' 'You're a hoarder'", "c": ["Meredith", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Dwight talking to the porcupine Henrietta about bonus money", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'Meredith, shut your drunk hole right now'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "Robert's predatory 'You thinking what I'm thinking?' to drunk Erin", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "'Oh, man I was supposed to tell Dwight something. Come on, Jim'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "Christmas Wishes"}, {"t": "You really have to say 'oh yeah,' every time you eat a candy bar? / I can't help it, Oscar. It's just really good. / Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Oscar", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "It was a raccoon eating a hamburger like a person!", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "\u266a I'ma love you downstairs tonight \u266a", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "You can write a book about chairs.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "There is an infinity of things that you can do with paper!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Let's get high on our own supply!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "And I can't afford to keep buying paper from us.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "I need to sell the $2,200 of paper that's in my garage.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Animals, machines, vast virtual armies. All of these things I have successfully managed. The only thing I haven't managed, is people.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "So, like a Spanish conquistador, I have come to Florida to claim what is rightfully mine.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "I'm not here to be given anything. I'm here to take what is mine.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Surrounded by shrubbery, like a squirrel's office.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "I can think of no better way to confront my deathly fear of flying.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "I don't know what's worse, the trip or the destination.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "So make that error! / I can make that error.", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "I know that making errors sounds like your kind of thing, but it's a little more complicated than that.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Triviocalypse!", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Gabe, I always wondered what it is you do around here. Now I found out. You're the bagel guy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Question, what's the most important appliance in your house? / Meat grinder. / Too slow. It's the toilet.", "c": ["Gabe", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "I am the toilet of this office. I flush away annoying problems so others can keep their hands clean, and, just like a toilet, I am essential.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "You could have gone with garbage disposal, incinerator, or eraser, and instead, you chose toilet. God bless you. You're an American classic.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "CEO to COO, what a difference a letter makes.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "this is a gay bar. / Wait, what? / Everyone in here is gay? / Yes! It's a gay bar!", "c": ["Darryl", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Go on, kid. You know you don't belong here.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Let's reverse engineer this. You're a black singer, where do you go? Somewhere where you're a novelty. Alaska?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "How am I supposed to know what was on his mind? Oh, what do blind people think about? Okay, dogs, canes, signs, manholes, stairs, piano, darkness.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "There're no fires within eight miles of here. / Well, it's nine miles away.", "c": ["Dwight", "Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "I can see you in the jungle now.", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Ladameon Washington.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Well, I know Elizabeth Taylor's sixth man was Richard Burton. Is that helpful?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "If it'd been Ron Artest, it would have come up in Dancing With The Stars, when they pan over his trophy case when he's at home with his family.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Lamar winning sixth man was a big storyline on Chloe And Lamar.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Ryan is MSNBC. I'm E!, TLC, and Oxygen.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Wait, why are you smiling? / What's with the smile?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Put your hand on my hand. / Flush! / Ow!", "c": ["Gabe", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Listen, you're a perfectly fine toilet. I'm just an extraordinary piece of crap.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "I'm sure you're just checking your Grindr account.", "c": ["Trivia Host"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "I can't not... touch it. / I can't not have my phone. I'm sorry. I want to be with my phone.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "So, the best chance of hitting our mark is now in the hands, and brains, of Kevin, Meredith, Erin, and Kelly. Do I like these odds? My answer is no.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. Except for the Einsteins.", "c": ["Trivia Host"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "What? / I did my part, babe. I'm just the bell girl.", "c": ["Kevin", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Trust me. One nine-minute bout is a cardiovascular equivalent of running uphill for three hours. I could go to this gym three times a week, or I can wrestle Stu once a month.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Dial it back, this isn't tail feathers, okay?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "A manager, a salesman, a leader, and a warrior walk into a restaurant. The hostess says, 'table for one?' How is this possible? / All those people are you?", "c": ["Dwight", "Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Florida is America's basement... It's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Alligators are dinosaurs, Dwight. You know that, right? / N... it's complicated.", "c": ["Robert", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "It's a job interview, not a flea market.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Marie Cotillard exposes herself a number of times in that film.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea. So, if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are, you just might catch one.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "First prize is $4,500 dollars! / Let's just do our thing, collect our hardware and get the hell home.", "c": ["Announcer", "Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "Trivia"}, {"t": "Oh... Oh What is this? A meatball? Really?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "It's always more fun to mess with Dwight with an audience. That was usually Pam. So now that she's out, I had to find someone else", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Turns out that Stanley is quite the comedy fan", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "But not everything makes him laugh. He has very specific tastes.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Through a painstaking process of trial and error, I found out what he likes. And it's really weird", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Jim, come on. So juvenile", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "You've been meatballed", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Are you ready for some meatballs?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "This is not very clever, Jim", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Really, Jim? Really?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "What's the haul? Thirty-two meatballs. Good day. That idiot's been feeding us for a week. We'll never have to buy meatballs again", "c": ["Stanley", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I'm taking an Italian class. So far, I have learned tortellini, spaghettini, linguine. Well, it's not so much a class as a restaurant. But I do Monday Wednesday, Friday from 7:00 to 9:00", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "You sound really pretty today", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Pump the brakes, Bernard", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I haven't proposed to anyone in years", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Mom took the main diamond out. She thought that had more of a 'my little brother' kind of vibe to it", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Got a little bit of The Shining vibe, though", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Big, stupid, pure chump bait", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "The 1% are suffering too, people", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I bought it to be my Playboy Mansion. A temple to wine, revelry, sex, intrigue. This was hot on the heels of Eyes Wide Shut, mind you.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Then I met my wife, she moved in, made it her own. Now she's left me and forced me to sell the place. The ultimate insult - they're calling my speakeasy lounge a rumpus room", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "What was the joke you thought you heard?", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Kind of laughing at your own pain. Sad clown thing", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. How hilarious it is to laugh at clowns, the painted jesters of a dying circus industry", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I'm getting reports of a serious outbreak of the 'grumpies' in here", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "A beautiful monster cost me my 40s and my dream home", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Well, please tell Susan we all say hi", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Like some sort of last hurrah? Yeah. All of us in the pool saying hurrah. Maybe the last one that says hurrah is 'it.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Hey, Oscar, was that you who just created a party out of thin air or was it me? That was you, Kevin. It was me", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "You going tonight, kiddo? Because I can give you a lift. Oh, I don't know Meredith, it seems like you shouldn't drive maybe ever", "c": ["Meredith", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "How do you know where I live? Andy followed you home after the Christmas party. Why? He wanted to make sure California didn't put it in you", "c": ["Erin", "Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Wow. Andy's such a weird stalker. Following me home like that when he has a girlfriend, a restraining order", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Well, we'll say it's 82 and it'll be our secret", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Wow. Just stopping by. Got another party to go to. A wife and two kids at home party. DJ Pam Halpert is spinning some serious Radio Disney tonight.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I don't mean to brag but New Year's Eve, I was home by 9:00.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Funny how you can be surrounded by people and still feel so lonely", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "How about this weekend we take that sucker to a duck pond or something? Maybe get caught in the rain. Well, I can't. I'm going skiing with Jessica. Couple of dopes on the slopes.", "c": ["Ryan", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "But if he was jealous once before then maybe I can make him jealous again. Just not with Robert. He told me he was a ride I wouldn't survive and I believe him.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "You know, you are just as dumb at night", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I moved them. Pants only need a chair if there's a person in them", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "You want to play you little hick?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "You enter this room a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a judge, but beyond it you are simply a penis a vagina, a hunger, an ache", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Susan used it as a Pilates studio", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "With ammunition like this, we are in for quite a night you and me. And Gabey makes three", "c": ["Toby", "Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Why would you choose me? Because I'm mighty? Because I'm the manliest man in the office? I'll do it!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I pictured myself here every night eating a leg of mutton, the juices dripping down my bare chest, wiping my fingers on the walls", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Then I met the vegan", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Toby, you are playing a dangerous game", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I guess I'm through the gateway now though, right?", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I've been working out but the problem is, I've been building muscle underneath and that top layer hasn't burned off yet. Awkward stage", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Now take a chip and crush it into my face and rub the grease around. Do it. Yeah, rub it in. Yeah. That's so good", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Andy's not even looking. Eating is a dead end. Damn it.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I know. I could just bang you right now", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "I had two bears sewn together to make this king size. Total waste of two bears", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "To both these bears", "c": ["Toby", "Gabe", "Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "When I put in the screening room I bought three movies. Caligula, Last Tango in Paris and Emmanuelle 2. The last two movies I actually watched in here were Marley & Me and On Golden Pond.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Kelly, that's a crazy ring you found. Yeah. Thanks, I'm really glad that I found it", "c": ["Angela", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Ring of a failed marriage might have some sinister energy, right? Am I just being silly? I don't think you're being silly. Oh, God. You know what? I can just sell it and put the money in the party fund. Oh. Then another woman will get it, we can't allow that. We have to destroy it", "c": ["Angela", "Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Does Darryl not swim? That's racist. I don't know but I would say by looking at him, no, Darryl does not swim", "c": ["Kevin", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "You've broken up your last couple, you evil ring. Do it. We're in the pool. Shove it, Angela.", "c": ["Kelly", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "But boy, that Erin, she sure is a ripe little tiger, isn't she? Meow! And to think I always thought of her as a second Meredith", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "It's monogamy for my hog and me", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "So then you won't mind if tonight I just go crazy on her? Just go nuts... With sex", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "You're an idiot", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "How did you know it was mine? The Bernard family seal, duh. Duh", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Andy's confused. That's not what I was hoping for. But it's not so bad either", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Robert, I want you to know I'm here to rock with you as late as you want. And that goes double for me. I'll stay even later than you'd like", "c": ["Toby", "Gabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Toby, I am Bacchus god of wine. And I am Bacchus' friend", "c": ["Robert", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "And there's my talking point", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "It's not a party if you don't do something that scares you", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Pool Party"}, {"t": "Stress is like the uptight mayor of a town who's saying 'Hey, we're uptight You can't dance.' And then, you have to be like 'Oh, yeah, Mayor Stress? Well, watch this.' And then, we dance.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Sex also works", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Hey! Tuna He's back", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Tuna wrap Okay... Hand roll", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Makes me question the whole judicial system", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "(MOCKING) He apologized And I just really want him to like me. Mmm!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "We're best friends actually. We're going wine tasting next weekend if you want to come", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "And then three other days happened", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Is it black? Because that would be hilarious", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "A little bit. Yeah. Right, guys? Back me up", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Right month wrong year", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Yeah, Oscar's the dad I'm Oscar's dad and Angela's my mom", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "It's the perfect blend of love and horror", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "My wife got to the TV first. I had to sit through damn Rizzoli & damn Isles", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "we used to recreate the various stranglings with empanadas from Ernesto's", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "You mean food truck Ernesto's was a food truck", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Toby, shut your hole about the empanadas Nobody cares about the empanadas", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Got that, bimbo? Got it, bimbo", "c": ["Gabe", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Philip is so fat", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "You warned me not to say anything if it was tiny, Oscar You didn't prepare me for a big, giant, fat baby", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "He's more than substantial He's a monster", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "you never said he was on a bicycle", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "You have the right to request judgment by combat Dwight's rights", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "I don't need to take a chill pill... Down the hatch", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "(SPEAKING CALMLY) But let's just say that Jim was lying about jury duty", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "No one's ever lied to me before", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "They used to call me King Tut because I'm so good at keeping things under wraps", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "My nickname was actually King Butt because I had a king-sized butt", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "It's the empanada guy", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "He remembers Toby the most forgettable man in the known world", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Usually I'm a burrito guy but if you won't tell, I won't. Wink, wink", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Hey, Murder, She Wrote, how about we drop the whole Murder, She Wrote thing, okay?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Wait, wait, you live by the courthouse You drove from near the courthouse out to Jim's house and then back to the courthouse? Thirty minutes out 30 minutes back easy hour", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "And I would watch that cute, little tooshy scurry up those courthouse stairs every morning and that was that", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "I'm not Rumpelstiltskin, Jim, I can't keep spinning gold out of your (BLEEP)", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "I'm going to call him Little Kevin", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Is he really five pounds? Because I squat with five pounds... Yeah, this feels like more than that", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "I thought you said five You know what? I was under so many drugs a James Taylor concert or something", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Preemie pajamas... No, I think he came early just so he could wear these", "c": ["Pam", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "This baby is clearly not premature They're lying about the date it was conceived And her husband's gay I don't even know which thread to follow", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "What? Funny? No? Nobody laughed", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "So long, clump mate I'm going to miss you Truth be told, I never thought that this was how it was going to end", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "That's it? This is crap", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "The only premature baby in this room is the baby this baby ate", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Philip was conceived nine months ago... we had just seen Thor, and there was way too much wine in my chicken piccata", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Why? I know what Angela and the Senator look like I can mash that up in my head right now", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "What a beautiful child Prominent forehead, short arms, tiny nose. You will lead millions willingly or as slaves", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "That baby is a Schrute, and unless somebody taught Mose sex that baby is mine", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "JIM: Yes, I am bringing my kids in to help me get out of this hole", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, whoa Game face, baby. Game face... No, that's overdoing it I think. Hi, Stanley. Split the difference", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "so she brought you a little treat... No. But that would have been a really good idea", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "She says no to everything. You know, she thinks my name is 'No.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Why am I shorter than the table that I'm standing next to?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Then I inserted my penis into your... No! Stop it! Dwight ...vagina", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Nurse! You know that baby in there? Baby Philip? Cancel the circumcision", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Kids drive us dads crazy. Sometimes I feel like they're raising us. Am I right?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Jury Duty"}, {"t": "Andy greeting Pam with exaggerated punching gestures: 'Look what I can do now that she's no longer pregnant. Bam! Bam! Bam! Pam'", "c": ["Andy", "Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'I could have used another week, or three' - Pam's understated response about maternity leave", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'You still had eight weeks more than we did' - someone's response to Pam's complaint", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Well, it's not exactly a vacation' - Pam's dry response", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Hello, everyone! Remember? Little old me. Hi' - Angela's dramatic attention-seeking entrance", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'You just had our baby. Our collective Dunder Mifflin family baby four days ago' - someone's overly possessive comment about Angela's baby", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Not everybody needs some long, luxurious, Parisian maternity leave' - Angela's passive-aggressive dig at Pam", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Damn, girl! Your body! What?' followed by 'Angela, you look amazing'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Really? I feel like this big rhinoceros' - Angela's self-deprecating response", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Angela, those brownies have walnuts in them and I think Kevin's allergic to walnuts'", "c": ["Unknown", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Extremely, but I'm going to fight through it' - Kevin's response to being allergic to walnuts", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'It's okay, Angela. I have mommy brain, too' followed by 'I don't know what that is, Pam'", "c": ["Unknown", "Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Babies sleep a lot, Pam if you feed them enough' - Angela's parenting 'wisdom'", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Oh, my gosh It's really good' followed by 'I'm watching my weight' - reaction to brownies", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 4.38, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Say, guys, you know what's an even more useful treat is cash' followed by immediate rejection", "c": ["Unknown", "Multiple"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "Dwight's over-the-top reaction to promotion news: 'You can't tantalize me' / 'Oh, maybe I can'", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'If you make me head of sales one more time, I swear' - Dwight's threat about fake promotions", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "Dwight's extended 'Yes!' celebration with escalating intensity", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Perfektenschlag' - Dwight explains the German word for when everything comes together perfectly", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'And just to be clear, there is a second definition: perfect pork anus, which I don't mean' - Dwight's clarification", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Did you know frogs can hear with their lungs? And that flamingos can have orgasms that last 30 minutes' - Andy's random facts", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Love to learn. Yeah, it's weird that I said that last one' - Andy's self-awareness", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'We're pin twins' exchange between Andy and Erin about matching pins", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'When I saw it at CVS it made me gag, too' - Andy's response about the gag gift", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "Erin's confessional about Andy still being with Jessica and carpooling", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'I wouldn't mind carpooling every day with Andy, but I wouldn't want to spend that much time with Jessica'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "Darryl's beanie dilemma: 'I can't tell if it's a \"We're just friends\" beanie or a \"I'm hot, you're hot, let's get it popping\" beanie'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Pam, pack up your post-natal swimwear make it a one piece or this offer is rescinded'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'No plus ones. This is for competent workers only' - Dwight's exclusion policy", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Super comfortable Like sweatpants for my head' followed by 'It's really itchy uh, but to be fair, my head is constantly itching so I can't really peg it on the hat'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Wow. It's like the Nation of Islam down here' - inappropriate comment about warehouse workers wearing beanies", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 3.95, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "Nate's over-excitement about opening Darryl's gift: 'Can I open it? No, no, no maybe just later Ah, I can't wait I'm sorry. I'm too excited.'", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Darryl, I am glad to be in your life, too Your card is more beautiful than the gloves'", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'I need people who are loyal, people who will help me get an inroad with the gay Hispanic community'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'People who won't be missed. We don't need idiots. Good for nothings. Meth heads. Or... What's your name? Cathy'", "c": ["Dwight", "Cathy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Two question marks is kind of aggressive You know, it's like \"Well, what?\" Just do one'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Andy just gave me a chain with three weak links Have you ever tried to use a chain with three weak links? I have And now I no longer own an Arctic Wolf'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'It's perfect. You emphasize the golf, completely omit the Florida Yeah, it's a golf text Total golf text'", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'You want to call someone that texted you? Do you want to drive them away?'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "Deep voice phone call revelation: 'Sorry, I asked for the main shipment number... my girlfriend some flowers. Your girlfriend? Is your girlfriend Val?'", "c": ["Darryl", "Deep Voice"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Why do you need a pen? Back off I got my reasons'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'MEREDITH: Wait Cathy gets to go? Why does she even still work here? Pam is back. It just feels like a slap in the face'", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'I can understand your pain. And your rage. But you know what? Andy is an honorable man Let us not question his choices'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Well, he nailed it because I do deserve a vacation Sometimes Batman's got to take off his cape'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'After that, it's going to be beach volleyball trips to Cape Canaveral and sea kayaking with Gloria Estefan'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'What were the criteria for going? It might be innate goodness versus innate badness But there's an easy way to find out'", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Moshi moshi' - Andy's phone greeting", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'You're trying to tell me Kevin Malone deserves more than Stanley Hudson? Hey Okay, it's obvious that Andy picked the people that are least important to the office'", "c": ["Stanley", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'My baby is not a monster Hey, be proud of your enormous monster baby an enormous monster baby'", "c": ["Angela", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Stop calling us \"guys\" when I'm nervous, guys Guys, guys, guys. Guys. ALL: Stop it ALL: Stop! Stop it!'", "c": ["Andy", "Multiple"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'If anybody's going to Florida, it should be me. Every shirt that I have that isn't a work shirt is a Tommy Bahama. I'm the only person in this office who watches Burn Notice'", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "The escalating time negotiation: 'Five to six hours... Three to four hours... two to three hours... over the next hour... Thirty minutes I'm out'", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'He responded, \"L.O.L.\"' followed by Erin's inappropriate laughter", "c": ["Jim", "Erin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Well, that's all Baltzer Glattfuelder had and now no one eats owls for Thanksgiving'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'You have two young dynamic people in this office who know trends who know youth. That's myself and Kelly Kapoor you need one of us there Or both? Not both. Just one. Me'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Very impressive He put a lot of work into that PowerPoints are the peacocks of the business world All show, no meat'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Because I feel like that I am in a place with my gambling rehab that I can finally start going to dog racing again You know, just sitting watching, enjoying the sport Maybe putting down a few dollars if there's like a crazy mismatch'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'It really has been a long, lonely winter Wow. Seasonal affective disorder, a.k.a. SAD. That sounds like a very real thing, Toby It is real. Thank you for saying that'", "c": ["Toby", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Yeah, wow, it's almost like we're not all experiencing the same winter'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Florida Stanley smiles Florida Stanley is happy to go to work Florida Stanley is who you want on your Florida team'", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'I don't think it's a good idea for you to clear your head any more than it has been already a workplace where the burdens of everyday life keep you tethered to reality'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Now, is it too dark to say that Cece's having an operation? I think you need to go to Florida'", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'With my mom and sister at the house, it'll be A total nightmare because I'll have all the help I need'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Well No. No! Absolutely not You are not going! Over my dead body, no.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'You know, Dwight if you didn't want me to go the smart move would be to tell Andy that I actually am essential to the operation That way, I couldn't go'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Jim is essential Hold on. I just want to get it on camera. Andy, Jim is just too Essential This is stupid! Cut'", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Hey, quick question, do you shower at night? Or do you shower in the morning? Because I want to shower when you're showering to save some water'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "Dwight's primal scream after learning final team composition", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Hot? What are you talking about? This is a nice, temperate Florida morning Eighty-five degrees 73% humidity. This is the exact environment that you will be facing'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'The next three weeks of your life are going to be the most miserable you've ever faced. They're going to be hard They're going to be dirty You're going to wish you were dead But? \"But?\" There's no \"buts.\" That's it. You'll wish you were dead'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Is that the buzzer from Taboo? Shut up, maggot It is.'", "c": ["Unknown", "Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'I released 300 mosquitoes into the conference room. Just temporarily When I'm done, the frogs will take care of the mosquitoes.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Yes. And then he brushes your soft supple cheeks with his worn leathery hands and says \"I'm going to make you the seventh Mrs. Rosenblat!\" Unless you ring the bell'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'You want to spend the rest of your life changing your husband's colostomy bags? Huh? Do you?'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'This coupon entitles you to one free tickle monster attack' - Nate's homemade coupon gift", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Yeah. They're Nate coupons or Nate-pons And they're all different Cash that one in and I will bring you a stick of gum any time, any place I'll find you.'", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'So I guess that was your mom who called me earlier looking for the address. Real deep-voiced woman'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'She said her name was Brandon, I think Your mom's name is Brandon? Yeah, Darryl. My mom's name is Brandon'", "c": ["Darryl", "Nate"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "Darryl's confessional: 'out where I stand This is a love beanie'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'I'm going to Florida And I'm not coming back'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Yeah, and they should have a place where people can check their computers or printers before they see you, so you don't have to carry it around like a dope Like a coat check'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'It seems to me that the Apple store is kind of like a party so I think our question is how do we make this a better party? No. We sell business tools and the stores need to reflect that. They need to be all business Let all the other stores look like a toy store. Right. Think different From Apple.'", "c": ["Erin", "Dwight", "Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'What are my expectations for the group? I have been given the responsibility to manage Stanley, a solid player. Ryan, who is capable of surprises. Erin, an excellent follower. And Cathy, a probably not totally useless enigma. And, well, Jim.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Perfektenschlag' - Dwight's satisfied conclusion", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'And I will keep it with me and I will sleep with it because it smells like you No, no, no, no, no. Just put it on my chair'", "c": ["Erin", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Okay It's only three weeks'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'Yeah. Jim's going to be there. That marriage is not good Nobody knows better than me'", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "'It's three weeks in Tallahassee. What else is there to do?'", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "Special Project"}, {"t": "giving everyone 20 minutes to shower, plus 50 for Jim to style his hair, 20 for breakfast, 40 for Erin to get post between her room and the lobby, 90 for Ryan to do his morning ecstasy", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "I was reading the mattress tag and I fell asleep", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Stanley! Wake up You've got to wake up The hotel's on fire! Stanley, wake up It's pretzel day", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "But no kids, so I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. And then I thought of something. Uh Here is Dwight What the", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "at the Alcohol Club", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "When I first met Pam she said something that slightly rubbed me the wrong way Since then I've loved working with Pam and she's frankly wonderful but I hate her", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "I'll have a bottle of the antacid Also I want to get a souvenir for my son but his mother doesn't acknowledge my paternity. Do you have anything for that? Also I want it to have a Florida feel What does he like? Power", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Okay, Twiggy, that's enough Get in the car", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Who says none of us are diarrheal?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "And then I thought of it I'll poison you What are you going to do? Are you going to steal my newspaper or put a cricket in my cereal or something? I'm gonna set your face on fire. That's a good one", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Whoa. Stanley, did you just come back from burning down a rival night club?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "You're a nice guy, Jim but you have no idea how to vacation", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "It's so peaceful, I've already written 12 plays today", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "It's so quiet, one might say you could hear a pin... would be cooler", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Got it Can we see that? Did you really find it? Yes. Right here. Got it. Dink. Ow", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Well, you used to be Well, I'm not the receptionist I know but I can't cover reception I have a ton of work to do", "c": ["Andy", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Life is short. Drive fast leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Still queer? You can't put me down Too strong", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "You see, this cat's got nine lives and a nine-inch", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.47, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Expected a man, did you? Strong, powerful huge whopping penis? Well, sorry to disappoint But my huge whopping penis is right here and I'm not afraid to use it So stop looking at my breasts and start looking at my penis", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "I went on a shopping spree Very destructive, I bought 1/ pianos", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "What is the antidote? True love's kiss", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Right, Dwight. Right, Dwight. Right, Dwight Sorry. Now you'll never be able to get that out of your head", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's tender, but it can't be appendicitis. I eat more than enough bacon", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Send it to the freaking moon, idiot", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Did you say 'masturbator'? I'm a decent baiter. My cousin, Mose, that's a master baiter", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "It's just rum I'm not bored. I'm a pirate Is that another motto? It's whatever you want", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "I've spent so much of my life telling myself, 'Please, don't end up like Stanley.' And now I'm wondering if I even have what it takes", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Dude, don't you yak on me This shirt is Van Heusen", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Oh! Who called it? Nothing but net", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Philip, if you're hearing this memo that can only mean one thing, I am dead You are the rightful heir to Schrute Farms. Please, you must do one thing Kill Mose before he kills you", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Look at these little mini pizzas. Does this make me look huge? Hey, guys look at me, I'm huge", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "I'm acting like I like Reception, and I'm a really good actor so people are actually buying that p actually like Reception. But I mean, seriously, Reception sucks", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Ryan switched his name tag to his pants so now it's like if you wear yours on your shirt you're a total dip But if you switch you're a copycat But I think I figured out a solution", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Dwight, will you go back to the hospital? You were there for like three hours. I got the surgery. What else is there to do? Do 100 jumping jacks No. I don't feel like it. You do 100 jumping jacks", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "You're too slow. You're too small. Seabiscuit is a stupid name You guys sound just like the enemies of Seabiscuit", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "The only thing you need to know about retail consumer habits is that consumers are mindless lemmings They just want to be told what to do Fast-forward to today and the retail consumer is independent well-informed, super smart Super smart", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "The menstrual cycle determines every choice a woman makes. You see, during ovulation a woman's only goal is to get pregnant. During menses she is sad that she has failed. And how does the woman console herself? Shopping. Shopping", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Mail call His name is Oscar, and he's got some mail And he better open it or go to jail, 'cause it's your taxes His name is Kevin, and no mail for him But he got a coupon for some frozen yogurt", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "What are the Three Pillars of Retail? Convenience Ingredients. Service Burgers. Building loyalty Killing royalty", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "A passionate night with Hugh Grant's brother John Grant He's older than Hugh just a little bit uglier. How did I pull that off? Sheer force of will", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "You are bleeding through your shirt Oops That's embarrassing Egg on my face", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "But when the sun came up I knew it wasn't real because she was ugly and I had grown tired of her Reception today but tomorrow you won't want to do her She's a dog", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "already replaced it with muscle. Can I see the wound? Oh, that's disgusting That's barely healed. You're not paying me to heal You're paying me to kick ass", "c": ["Dwight", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "A few hours ago, your body was open like a cabinet", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "You tell her Donna Moraski misses her", "c": ["Caller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "What's under the cloth? We'll get to that Cookies. I bet you anything it's cookies It's cookies Let me finish my speech first Oh, we get the gist It's just success and effort, isn't it? So just don't be coy. Make with the cookies", "c": ["Ryan", "Famous Amos", "Nellie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Is it oatmeal with no raisins? I'm sorry to have wasted your time That's okay Thank you very much", "c": ["Ryan", "Famous Amos"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Tallahassee"}, {"t": "Oscar thinks having a dog is just like having a baby. News flash, if you didn't carry it around in your belly for nine months, it isn't your kid.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Exactly. Unless you adopted, of course. That is where we disagree.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Hey, are your little dudes crawling yet? No, three-month-old humans don't do that.", "c": ["Angela", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "My Philip is crawling. - Angela is such a liar. - It's maddening.", "c": ["Angela", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Exactly. That's just like crate training.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Like her genes are so important. The world just needs more Pam-Jim DNA. - Thank you, no. - No, thank you.", "c": ["Angela", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "There's nothing harder than taking care of a boat. Am I right? Angela and Pam: Unbelievable! Un-be-lie-va-ble.", "c": ["Oscar", "Angela", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "It is the end of the day. It is the end of the week. We managed to fill 40 hours somehow.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Right now, you're like, 'oh, what's more important? Dwight's question, figure out who's the VP? Dwight, VP. Dwight, VP.' Dwight, VP. Dwight, VP...", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "I can't be hypnotized, Dwight. I tried it, I ended up smoking more.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Like stacking and sorting, or-- Catching butterflies. That's a hobby unless it's for food.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "- Theater. - Waste of time. - Dragging. - That's just a verb. Dragging sticks.", "c": ["Dwight", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "English peoples' main use today is judging American talent. [British accent] You're crap. You're wonderful. They're-- they're mean, but they're incisive.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "I'm not allowed to say it's mandatory, so let's just call it 'compulsory.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Maybe we'll see the real 'Talla-nasty' we've been hearing so much about. - 'Talla-nasty,' very clever. - Thank you. Wait, wait, you think she invented 'Talla-nasty'?", "c": ["Jim", "Cathy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "I thought I was gonna be hanging out with Stanley on this trip, but he's turned out to be kind of a loose cannon.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Yes, the conference room is set up. I've got pens, I've got paper, I've got a whiteboard. - We are good to go! - Say what? We are good to go! - Say what? - We're good to go! - Stop it. Stop it. - Stop. - Say-- - Andy.", "c": ["Andy", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Ball droppings can be beautiful. For example, when it turns an awkward soprano into a rich, full tenor.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Genghis Khan could take 'em both down 'cause he's not afraid to kill children. What? It's true. He-- He would-- He would eviscerate babies and hang them from poles outside of the villages.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Okay, everyone empty your pockets. Whoever has the most seeds is the king, whoever has the least buttons is the hunchback. What happens if you're the hunchback? - Oh, you get kicked.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "40. Always. - Can I see? - Sure. So I get to kick you now. No, they're not transferable just 'cause I handed 'em to you. Well, that's how I played it in college. - College rules. [Kicks] - Aah!", "c": ["Dwight", "Todd"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "And he lost at his own lame game. Ooh, double meaning. The game was lame, and now he's lame from the kick. Quick wit.", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "I'll have a glass of your oakiest chardonnay, please. And I will have a waffle with your mapliest syrup.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "I'm young, and I can. And if I can't, I'm still pretty young. I guess I'll always be young.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Why would Erin confide in me that she's staying here in Florida if she didn't want me to make some sort of last-ditch, nothing-to-lose, Kelly ka-who run at her?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "- Paid. - I'm dying! - Processed. - And delivered.", "c": ["Kevin", "Office workers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "The cowgirl has chosen her saddle. [Clicks tongue, whinnies]", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Well, saddles... [Clicks tongue, whinnies] Sometimes fall off, especially if you don't properly cinch the girth.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "I went south of the border for this. And then I went south of that border. And we have ourselves... [Jamaican accent] A Jamaican feast, man.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "If I wanted Jamaican food, I'd just hire a bunch of bodyguards and go there.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Don't play dumb with me. I know what's up. Honey, I am not sleeping with-- Hey! Hey... Let's get back to the food. Brandon tell us about these delicious-looking goops.", "c": ["Brandon", "Val", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "- Blow in my ear. - All right. Like I'm on the beach. - [Blows] - Oh. [Imitates seagull calls] Seagull. [Cawing] And-- and a wave crashing.", "c": ["Nellie", "Todd"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Is this March Madness? I love March Madness. Oh, no, that's not this 'cause that's in March.", "c": ["Cathy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "- Lebron James. - Yes, nice. Good word association. [Giggles]", "c": ["Cathy", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Impressive. Oh, please, anyone can tie a knot. The real skill is in untying it. Mm...", "c": ["Nellie", "Todd"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Like a hospital needs more napkins for surgery--", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Something interesting is happening here for once in my life. I am staying here.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Careful, Jim. It gets easier and easier. - No, no, no, Stanley. - Mm-hmm. - Stanley. - Uh-huh. Stanley. All right, hey. You know what? Just bring back those bottles!", "c": ["Stanley", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Yeah, they keep them on 'cause it's less expensive than turning them on and off. I like how guys just know stuff all the time.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "[Whispers] Get down. It's the fuzz. Shh! Do you want us to get scolded? Shut your beautiful, beautiful mouth, please.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Okay, 'cause three dots means 'to be continued,' four dots is a typo, but five dots means, 'whoa, do not make me say what I want to say, baby, but if I did, it would blow your mind.' Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "You look like Ed Harris. If they stretched him a little bit.", "c": ["Val"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Our biggest attraction is our 200-year-old mattresses.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Describe its mood. Did it seem sleepy? Stressed, but to be fair, it was a tense situation.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "So smug. Like he thought it was funny, like this. - Pssh. That's a bedbug. - Yeah. - Everything's a joke. - I know.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "When I jump into the bed, you are gonna cover me with the sheet immediately. And then we'll see who's laughing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Oh, it's plenty warm, and I was farting continuously under the sheet, creating a kind of greenhouse effect.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Packer is trying to bed Nellie for the VP job unless I do it first. Is that really how you want to get this job? Such a chorus girl.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "A real man swallows his vomit when a lady is present.", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "[Giggles] Wait, this is why I exercise like a fiend. Feel. Seriously.", "c": ["Cathy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! What are you thinking? Um... I mean-- I know that you're married. I sat at your wife's desk. How little do you think of me?", "c": ["Cathy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "My friend Jim would tell you to play it cool. My husband would tell you to go for it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "We could get a dog. We could go to R-rated movies. And who knows, I mean, you're a guy, I'm a girl-- Yeah? - We could be roommates. - Really? - Maybe in six months-- Six months?", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Um, okay, I'm in love with Kelly.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Seven, one, one, nine... No, no, no. Not numbers, no. Try again. Ugh, I'm still getting numbers. Seven, one, one-- Is anyone around here thinking the numbers seven, one, one?", "c": ["Dwight", "Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Win at all costs. Don't respect women. These are the tenets I was brought up with, and they have served me well. But my ancestors never worked in corporate America. They were farmers. And before that, hunters. And before that, time travelers. And before that, me again.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "I got Romy And Michele's High School Reunion.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Hey, just so you know, me and you-- I don't think that's ridiculous. Dot, dot, dot... Dot, dot.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Stand back! Aah! Stop it, oh, my God! That burns! What is that? It's a compound of chemicals I pulled off of the maid's cart.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "You can't stay here. This place is a biohazard. If I were you, I'd just bunk with Cathy.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "Look, the light went off. Just as I said the light went on.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "After Hours"}, {"t": "And I, Dwight Truth I'm in charge of the entire operation.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "'Cause I feel like I'm gonna fall off. - Yes. Yes. - I'm not wearing the right shoes for this. - We went over this, okay? Your tiny fingers make the best knots.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Hey, my name's Tabitha. I'm camped out in front of the Sabre store so I can be first in line for the new pyramid. Psst. It's me, Erin.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I was born in the little working class town of Basildon, and until the age of 32, I talked like this, which was bloody horrendous, innit?", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "What's lower than dirt? Loam, magma, mantle, outer core, inner core. - Yeah, thank you. - Loam. Bloody loam, I came from.", "c": ["Nellie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "When I auditioned for the Spice Girls, I didn't even get a callback. Which Spice Girl? The black one. I never stood a chance.", "c": ["Nellie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Bloggers are gross, bloggers are obese. Bloggers have halitosis. You're gonna love 'em.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "When people see this presentation, they're gonna [Bleep] in their pants. - Okay. - Come on, man. Seriously disgusting.", "c": ["Ryan", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Packer, you will be the sexual predator who has come to prey on the trendy teenage girls who are obsessed with the pyramid.", "c": ["Dwight", "Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I don't see what that gets us, but I'm a team player.", "c": ["Packer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Schrute's out to get me. But I'm playing the long game. As soon as he messes up, I swoop in like a sexual predator.", "c": ["Packer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I want to create a sense of wonder and enthusiasm as if, at the end of ET, candy poured out of the screen.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Speaking of pimples, let's release the bloggers!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Don't care. Tell me later.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I woke up at 4:00 A.M. by accident, in time for the paper to be delivered. Guess what. It's not a kid on a bike. It's a man in a car.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Hey, I was on the can. What's this about a black guy in the office?", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Since the interesting thing happened till now, so much time has passed, it's like my life is buffering.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Pam and I were arriving for the day, and there was a gang in the parking lot on bikes, on-- on motorcycles. And they just were hassling Pam... They had, uh... Weapons.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "But these were not the kind of people who use their words. Punches were going, and I ducked a few, landed a couple, and I was fighting them off.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I didn't do anything any of you wouldn't have done.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "So you're a blogger, right? Yeah. Blogger. God, stay away. Oh, I always get in trouble around bloggers. I'm trying to be a good girl for once.", "c": ["Unknown", "Blogger", "Cathy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I haven't had so much fun since seeing... Zoo-ey Desh-channel at the Couch-arilla Music Festival.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "How can we feel safe knowing that there are gangs here? We should call the police right now! No! No, no, no, no, no, we don't need to call the police.", "c": ["Unknown", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Because I have neighborhood pride. 1-8-5-0-5. - 1-8-5-0-5. - Guys, guys. That's so vague. You gotta do the zip plus 4. 1-8-5-0-5... Dash 7-4-2-7!", "c": ["Andy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Toby is teaching us self-defense. Me? Toby, will you teach us self-defense? Yeah. Um... I can't believe you remembered I do self-defense.", "c": ["Andy", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Um, I'll go put on my cup. Great.", "c": ["Toby", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I wasn't sure which one of you was Chuck! Yeah, no, it seems to be going great.", "c": ["Unknown", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Andy got beat up by a fifth grade girl?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "This is a perfect photo for my 'Daily Fail' blog. Uh, I-I gotta go. Okay. Dwight, what is a fail? That sounds bad.", "c": ["Blogger", "Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no. It's good. It's really-- on the Internet, it's a really-- That's a really good, good thing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Hello. Hi, sweetie. It's Jim. I'm calling you from the new Arrowhead, which is why my voice is crystal clear and my hand won't ever get tired because of the ergonomic shape.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "You could have pretended to be Chuck. I begged you to pretend to be Chuck, but you chose to be yourself, and you can no longer be Chuck! Surrender the tripack.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Point it towards the store, idiot!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey, you guys, you must be lost. Listen. Excuse me, sir. Yeah, the fountain where you can feed the pigeons is out behind the bank. Tell your great grandson to bring his kid by.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "The elderly suck the life out of the young. Get them out of here! We are closed! Come on.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Self-defense is not some fun boxing match, okay? This is about escaping with your life. So... Strike, scream, and run.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "That may have been my fault. What the hell, Toby?", "c": ["Toby", "Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "So just remember, I-a-a-t-g. 'It's all about the groin.'", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "What if you're being attacked by a... Smallish man who happens to not have a groin?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "What if you're being attacked by a 4'11\" man who's penisless?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Why are you fixated on this hypothetical transgendered attacker?", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Show us how to defend ourselves against a baby, and then like a fifth-grade girl, and then, you know, if we have time, on up to a scary man.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "What can the attacker then do to better protect himself? It's interesting that you're drawn to the point of view of the attacker.", "c": ["Andy", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "The latest Chad Flenderman novel... Based from the point of view of his nemesis, Dr. Lucifer Wu.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Can I please leave? I have a rape flute.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Cathy, I would like to introduce you to fatty gruesome. He is a freelancer for Wired Magazine. Patty Grossman. I'm a woman.", "c": ["Dwight", "Patty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Yeah, no [Bleep], Sherlock! Can somebody please tell me something encouraging about this presentation before I go out there in front of a million people and do it?", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "You just need to realize so much rides on this. - You have no idea.", "c": ["Dwight", "Ryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I'm trying to make him feel important. God. I wish Kelly were here. She always knew what to say.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Oh, Ryan, you're so smart. You're smarter than Mark Zuckerberg and those Google guys all combined. - Hee hee hee. - You're so ignorant, you barely know what you're talking about.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ryan", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "What's a book? Oh, my God. You're so embarrassing.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "You can do it, Ryan. And you know that I'm capable of this. - You're the only one who can do it, s-sweetie.", "c": ["Unknown", "Ryan", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Oh, 'fix' means you hate it! I knew it! - I need something to drink!", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "No, not a water. A sports drink. I hate everything in that fridge. Not red-- Get me something yellow or green from a nearby store. Not red!", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Go to a nearby store and get him a yellow or green sports drink! Now, if your attacker is willing to defile a corpse, you better stop playing dead right away and just make it known that you're alive.", "c": ["Jim", "Toby"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I believe my daughter had an altercation with somebody here, some fancy gentleman with a squeaky voice? I think you guys might have the wrong office. That's him... The guy I hit.", "c": ["Unknown", "Andy", "Girl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "What about the lady you hit with a pine cone? There. That chubby one. I just had a baby. - Yesterday?", "c": ["Girl", "Unknown", "Phyllis", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Sorry I kicked your ass in front of your 'thin' girlfriend. How 'bout we wait till next year after you have your kid?", "c": ["Girl", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "There's no shame in getting beaten up by a girl. My ex-wife used to demolish me. No, there is shame in it, okay? We have to draw the line somewhere.", "c": ["Toby", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I think I see the imprint of a ring pop.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Hey, Uncle Lucas, it's your nephew, Ryan. Honestly, I could use a prescription for ritalin right now. Well, I know you did one for Aunt Carol. Oh, so it's different because it's your wife?", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Don't talk to me right now. I'm sorry, I know you're my boss, but seriously, you need to get the hell out of my face.", "c": ["Ryan", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Your little man is unraveling. Now, go and fix it.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Someone rejected you? With that body and those bazongas? Forget him! Yeah! Forget him! And you should forget your husband. Well...", "c": ["Unknown", "Erin", "Unknown", "Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "'I'm sorry. I lied. I'm not in the bathroom. I can't do it. I need to see my mom. I'm going home.'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "You are gonna bloody ruin it. You're gonna bloody ruin it because you're a no-good half-ass cockeyed...", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Look at me. Look at me! Look... At... This... Face. This is not the face of a performer. This is the face of a scary apparition you see before you die.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "If you don't do this, I don't stand a chance. Please, Jim.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "There's nothing like some last-minute changes to really energize a presentation. Huh?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I wanna watch you get dressed. Did you find the eyeliner? I'm not wearing eyeliner. You are wearing eyeliner, Jim.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Time. Space. Gender. There are no rules anymore. All boundaries are breaking down in the wake of the infinite future.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "The pyramids-- The strongest shape ever constructed, a shape that fits all other shapes inside of it. No, that-- It's true.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "I've been through a lot of issues in my life. I've seen drug addiction, unemployment. I've been in a relationship that tore my heart apart without ever being able to accept that love drove the pain.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "When I was ten years old, my parents took me to Disney World. I cried the whole time. I was not able to comprehend the beauty that was before me. I just wanted... To go home.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "You can play anything from Chuck to Cars 2.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Oh!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "All right. Thank you so much. Wow. Wow! And good night. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "little things can be dangerous. Whether it's a Gremlin or Chucky The Doll-- The key is to throw it in something. Like a fireplace or a tub of electricity.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Good point? What is a tub of electricity? - I don't-- I don't--", "c": ["Toby", "Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "It's a 12-year-old female bully. - I was a 12-year-old bully. - Great! I think Kelly should attack Toby.", "c": ["Andy", "Kelly", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "You think you're so pretty! Well, you're not gonna be so pretty come prom time! Okay, this is what's called pre-violent posturing.", "c": ["Kelly", "Toby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Take that! Not so pre-violent anymore! Okay, I'm at what's called 'the decision point.'", "c": ["Kelly", "Toby"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "God! My good eye! Oh, boy!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "You know why I got hit by girls? Because I stood up for others... Pam and Toby. I stepped in, and I didn't care that I was standing up to girls.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "You may wanna ask yourselves, 'where were you when the girls came?'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Tough day. Yes. But I feel good. I put the office in their place, took a bunch of pain killers, drank half a bottle of wine, took my pants off. I just feel good!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "We could have integrated more Chuck into the presentation. Dwight. You're the Vice President.", "c": ["Jim", "Nellie", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Ha ha ha ha! Yeah! Okay! - Come on! - Aah! Right on! Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! Boom!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "Test The Store"}, {"t": "Everyone stop what you're doing. I have terrible news. Dwight is no longer with us. What? He's gone, damn it! He's been promoted to VP of Sabre retail, and he's staying in Florida forever. So... He's alive. Yeah. That was him on the phone. He sounds wonderful.", "c": ["Jim", "Multiple coworkers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Well, the way you said it made it sound like he was dead. How could I have been more clear? He had a massive stroke of good fortune and he is now in a better place.", "c": ["Jim", "Coworker"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Don't touch my treasure. Okay? You understand?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Which is obviously what he would want us to think, making it the perfect place to hide a treasure! Oh, God, I'm Wallace Shawn in The Princess Bride!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "I think that Dwight wanted us to realize that this conversation among friends is the true treasure.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "That's not Dwight. No.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "It's a photo of all of us. Oh, that's so sweet.", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "A dart? Are you kidding me? Who would put a poison dart-- Well, I mean, I don't know that it's poison. I mean, I just have to imagine. God, I'm glad he's okay though.", "c": ["Jim", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Kinda sounds like he deserved it, opening another man's treasure and all.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "All right! Well swung, my VIP VP.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "We are a regular Archibald and his man George.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Trick! There's no such thing. It's not even a real English duo. Ahh! I just made you look like the Goat of Dover.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "You think you're excited? You should feel my nipples. Boing!", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Don't even care! This is the last time I'll ever see Dwight. It's a weird feeling. It's, um... What's the word? It's not bittersweet. It's, uh... Sweet. Yeah.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Would if I could and I can, so I will. Put me down for one box. Don't care what it is, dealer's choice. I'll put you down for shortbreads. Damn it!", "c": ["Stanley", "Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Or... Chess club?", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "All I need is Kevin. Dude buys more cookies than everyone combined, and then some. When I first started selling cookies, he was a relatively thin man. Not a thin man, mind you. Relatively thin.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Really good cheese samples. I had, like, a hundred.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "He's a wonderful swimmer. Shallow end, deep end. He does it all.", "c": ["Irene"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Oh, what kind of tea is this? Oh, I boiled some Gatorade.", "c": ["Erin", "Irene"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "\u266a oh, the springtime thinks \u266a \u266a that it's the best \u266a \u266a fall time thinks that it's the best \u266a \u266a cold time has kind of a strut \u266a \u266a and Valentine's thinks that it's the best \u266a \u266a but gather round, peeps, I'll tell you the truth \u266a \u266a nothing beats the cookie season \u266a \u266a that's the truth \u266a", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Why don't we split the order? It's only fair. No, wait, no. I'm buying, I make the rules. I actually do want you to fight over me. I wanna be wined and dined and... sixty-nined.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Metaphorically sixty-nined. Ew! Perverts. No offense, Oscar.", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Bye-bye. I win.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "The Sabre store would work if we adopted the carnival model of leaving town once everyone's wise to us.", "c": ["Robert California"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Robert! I'm gonna win! Ha ha, I'm the gentleman! Suck it!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Cathy, write that down and print it out. It's gonna make some really good toilet paper.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Hey, Halpert, anyone ever tell you you look like Wooly Willie? Silence. I'm just trying-- I know what you're trying to do. I don't want it. But your face does look like the guy from \"Operation.\"", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "It's the same guy. - That's the joke I made. - Different guy.", "c": ["Jim", "Todd Packer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "That you look like the world's tallest hobbit.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Erin123. That's a terrible password. And you don't \"make a video chat\"-- You \"video chat.\"", "c": ["Erin", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Oh! Now mine's broken. Hang on. Oh, there we go. Aghh!", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "He's like Super Dwight. It's like he's been bitten by a radioactive Dwight or som--", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "What's a skinny guy like Toby know about cookies? You can't trust him to understand the wants and needs of the thick man.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "If I have a question about my cookies at midnight, who am I gonna call? Darryl. Toby's probably in bed with some model.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "You think people are gonna buy cookies from my... Chubby daughter? Baby, if you're watching this, you're not chubby. You're beautiful.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Yes! This is too tan. This right here. No! This is a tan spot. I don't buy it. That is a freckle. That is not a tan.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "I want you looking totally puertoriquena when I see you.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "\u266a oh, baby, telephone \u266a \u266a and tell me I'm your own \u266a", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "50? Hungrier. You're not talking... Triple digits. Oh, yeah, I'm talking triple digits.", "c": ["Kevin", "Darryl", "Toby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "\u266a hello, my baby, hello, my honey \u266a \u266a hello, my ragtime gal \u266a", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "You're like an amish return-stick.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "That is the mark of a great man-- Unstoppability. Dunder Mifflin... the farm, Mose. All those things. Vanish in my rearview mirror.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "And from what I hear, she's a-- Oh!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "All I had to do was think about pie, and my salivary glands did the rest.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Oh, look like shnoot's a no-show. Guess he wasn't Vice President material after all. But I am. Put me in, babe. I've got the info down backwards, forwards, and doggy-style.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "'Sup?", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Jackie chan!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Now people will think I'm doing hot girls all day. I don't know, man, they might think we're drag queens. Yeah, I don't know why you picked names that are also guys' names.", "c": ["Kevin", "Darryl", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "This may be wrong, but there's a limit to what I would do for my child. Yeah, I have my dignity too. I refuse to be another man's horsey.", "c": ["Toby", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Whatever you do... Do not blame Todd packer. It is not his fault. Blame his upbringing, his parents. The society that would mold this idiotic creature. Fire the employee, yes. But not the man. You may not cancel his soul.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? She's the queen of the whole friggin' magilla!", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "You're about to close four tabs, are you sure you want to continue? Yes. I am sure. Ahh! Slow computer!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Last Day In Florida"}, {"t": "I guess it doesn't look that cool either.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I just remember pushing aside my silky bangs to say, 'Look, a balloon.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "My Warcraft clan was still on speaking terms. My kid didn't have a face tattoo.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "What brings you to town? Certainly not the Harry Houdini Museum. What a nobody. Look, some Hungarian just found their way out of a sack. Let's build a shrine.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Welcome. I'm Tony. What? I said, I'm Tony. Okay, I made a mistake. I thought it might go unnoticed. But I'm Toby.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I have one simple philosophy in business: If the seat is open, the job is open. It's how I came to briefly race a formula one car.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "The three slowest laps ever recorded.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Look at this place! Five rooms, and I get to clean them all. That's right, I'm a maid for an old lady. Her grandson's staying with us too, because he ran out of money. Listen to me, bragging away.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Because it is 10:00, I've been in this chair for an hour, and no other manager has come and sat in my lap.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Florida flu.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "My heart is my map. Turns out Tallahassee is about 200 miles inland, so I overshot a good amount. But still, not bad for a heart map, right?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot, B.P.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves, Jim.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Maybe it's because he's not that handsome.", "c": ["Irene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I think it's a cross between 'Dumbo' and 'Jumbo'. With a hint of 'chubby.'", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Kevin ate someone's lunch, Phyllis has a new necklace.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Hot tub party?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I've been reusing the hot dog water so it gets more flavor. It's going to keep getting better.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I just have to cross a few 'T's and dot a few 'I's.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "You didn't even stop to pee? Gross.", "c": ["Irene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "You really wouldn't feel those results after one session.", "c": ["Glenn"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Proctology.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I got the serious poops.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "The way Pam trusted you to provide for her so she wouldn't have to work?", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I wouldn't let her manage a celery farm. Those who can't farm farm celery.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "You are our Atlas, and for that, do you not think you deserve a raise?", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Money isn't real ever since we got off the gold standard.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "When two animals are having sex, one of them... Is communicating a message to the other. Nothing is mutua... this isn't very helpful. You're going to want to hear the sexual metaphor. Was that not the... All life is sex. And all sex is competition.", "c": ["Robert", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "In the end, doesn't he decide who the manager is?", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "This office is mine now. Sorry, too late. I'm here. This is mine. Back off.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Touch me and I'll sue.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "If I had my own fountain, it would be two frogs that are spitting into each other's mouth. It's just stupid.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I'm so sorry that we have not loved each other at the same time.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Dreamt I could breathe underwater like Jacques Cousteau.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I think you're a witch. I think you're amazing.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "He got his foreskin caught in some lawn furniture.", "c": ["Irene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I'm Tinkerbell. I'm a magical fairy who floated into your office to bring a little bit of magic into your lives, to give you all raises.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Come on, Jim, you're killing her. We believe!", "c": ["Kevin", "Others"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "This is the wrong Prius. I don't love you. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I just... there's always one around. I always find one. Have you heard of buying a toothbrush? Of course. I own my toothbrush.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "I grew up poor. I had little formal education. No real skills. I don't work especially hard... And most of my ideas are either unoriginal or total crap. And yet... I walked right into a job for which I was ill prepared, ill seated, and somebody else already had and I got it. If you ask me, that's the American dream right there, anything can happen to anyone. It's just random.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Get The Girl"}, {"t": "Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy with a moustachectomy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Stanley doesn't have a moustache.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "The whole card depends on this!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "The man's worked here for 25 years. How can none of us picture his face?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "'Cause we come here to do our jobs. We don't stick our noses in other people's business.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Stanley arriving and everyone reacting to confirm he does have a mustache", "c": ["Everyone", "Stanley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Good morning, Robert, says no one, because our receptionist is in Florida.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Is this a video conference you're having with... 'Drake, featuring Swizz Beatz'?", "c": ["Robert", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Nellie's elaborate snooze button story with sound effects", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "I've never believed willpower was very important in a woman.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Are there a lot of Irish people living around here? Yes. Yes. Ugh! I hate that! No offense.", "c": ["Nellie", "Kevin", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Ay, caramba! The natives are getting restless!", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Keep that stuff on the basketball court. Or the squash court, or the supreme court.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Why Jim?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "We're throwing a party for someone because they're being horrible? We're taking work time to move someone's personal belongings?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "I'm still not sure why this woman is even here. Why is she here?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, I mean that must be nice to have parents.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Right here in the break room. Order carrot cake.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "And I'll remember you as a gentleman. Okay. That was one minute and ten seconds. Consider it nailed.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Oh, I think I'll just use this line horizontally. Oh, I had no idea what a gift this line is.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Bunch of grown men waving wands, pulling bunnies out of body crevices.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Haulin' cube! That's moving boxes. We just came up with the term to make it sound cooler.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "She needed a ride because she totaled her car.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "I wonder if king-sized sheets are called presidential-sized in england. I really should have a tweeter account.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Here's the two of them kissing at a beach and kissing at the Eiffel Tower. I'm guessing he's some kind of close romantic friend. Like a boyfriend?", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "New theory-- He's a hated Italian politician. Better theory-- This is her ex-boyfriend, and they went through some kind of painful breakup.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "That's what I call my box full of photos of Henry. Why not call... Shh!", "c": ["Nellie", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "If it would help you to forget, I could hit you in the brain stem with this candle stick.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "What kind of fool gets her heart broken by a bloody stage magician?", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Call it off, Pam. Call it off, okay? It's way more complicated than you think. Cancel the magician. Trust me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "We're in far too deep. We can't change course at this point. Suck it!", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Do you want a gummy penis? No, I'll just have some gummy bears. These are delicious. But... they're penises.", "c": ["Woman", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Maybe we don't pop that one. No, pop Matthew. Pop it!", "c": ["Andy", "Women"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Andy was Jelly Roll. Mike was Dennis The Menace. Ryan was douche bag. Hey, that's not a code name. That's just an insult.", "c": ["Darryl", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "How 'bout we go with Pam? 'Cause there's someone already here named Pam. Hey!", "c": ["Kevin", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "They asked me to play only originals. I said, 'Have you heard my originals? They're terrible.' They said, 'Even better.'", "c": ["Magician"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Super-honesty time. I'm gay. I am gay, and I prefer men.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "I had to imagine that I was in a steam room with John Stamos.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Every day I imagine how happy I'd be if Pam died.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "We hate Pam. We hate Pam. We hate Pam! We hate Pam!", "c": ["Everyone"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Probably from seeing that turkey. When we drove by the farm. Ohh. Always does it.", "c": ["Andy", "Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Big guy, huh? How's the air up there? Watch out for... birds.", "c": ["Magician"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "No hablo el cardo, se\u00f1or?", "c": ["Magician"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Before I was a magician, I used to work... at a rope factory. 'Cause that's not a real place.", "c": ["Magician", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Okay, scram, wizard.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "This cake has vegetables in it. Like a salad bar, Robert.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Super-duper honesty time. I'm not gay.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "I can't believe you're not gay!", "c": ["Bachelorette party woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "You don't think he could have used... It couldn't have been...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "Welcome Party"}, {"t": "Phyllis says the same 12 cliches every time it rains. So... I promised everyone that if she says them all by noon today, I will send out for hot chocolates.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "So how's the drive in? Oh, nobody knows how to drive in the rain. You don't say? Yeah, you know the roads are actually the slickest in the first half hour? Oh, the plants are gonna love this.", "c": ["Jim", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "This rain... Does it make you wanna be doing something? What do you mean? You know, like aren't some things just so nice and cozy in the rain?", "c": ["Jim", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "And that's noon. Exactly. I mean, normally the rain would make me want to stay at home, curled up with a good book. But everybody's being so nice to me today.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "She's sweet. I just wish there was pockets.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "What happened to Old Salty? Nellie let me bobblize him. His name is now Captain Mutato.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I've written quite a bit of X-Men fan fiction. Captain Mutato is half man, half mermaid. So he can fight crime as a man, and make love as a mermaid.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Most of my writing involves the latter.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I am the famous Andy Bernard you've been hearing all about.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "No. Obviously, we'll figure out the, uh, logistics of moving all of this stuff out of here. But... You know, the sooner the better. Get back to normalcy. Hmm, no.", "c": ["Nellie", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "And then just lay him in his crib, and then bicycle his legs. And then after Jim quiets down, you do the same thing with your baby.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Because Kelly is Indian, and... Oh, that's it. Race had nothing to do with it. I just knew they'd be good together. Why!", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Sorry, just to be clear, you're saying do not shake the baby. Don't shake the baby. Um, a lot times, parents get frustrated 'cause the baby's crying and they shake the baby. And you gotta-- You can't do that.", "c": ["Jim", "Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Kelly and I broke up and she can do whatever she wants. And her new boyfriend seems awesome... If you're into Indian people. I'm not.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Maybe we weren't right together, but... it's weird. I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "That's about it, yeah.", "c": ["Camera operator/Interviewer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Oh, Bobby, get accustomed to it, because then it feels good when they finally say yes.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I never allow sexual desire to influence a business decision. So I find it best to... recuse myself temporarily until I've had a chance to make love, and then go back and... analyze the situation rationally.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Buffett operates the same way.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I'm going to dock your pay $100. Okay. Five... four... You can't dock my pay. Angela! Dock Andy's pay $100! On it! Great!", "c": ["Andy", "Nellie", "Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I got a little bit of an anger problem. Got me in some trouble a couple years ago. When I see him start to get mad, I just... Put my hand on his arm like this.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "$10,000. 5...4... You're just saying numbers. It's meaningless. It's literally like... 3... 2... One.", "c": ["Andy", "Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Hey. So last night was so not a big deal. Oh, yeah, I was just tired. We both were. Yeah. Plus, I was definitely not my normal sexy self.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Yeah. I know it's not... a big deal.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Oh, those are from our weekend at the Timeshare. Yeah, the fractional ownership property.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I'm in love with Kelly Kapoor. And I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but I do know that right here, right now, all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with her. Again, that could change.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "When you lost the manager job... Yes? Did it affect you outside of the office? How? I don't know what the technical term is. Hmm. Penial... softiosis.", "c": ["Interviewer", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Washington Monument. Okay. Eiffel Tower. Okay, okay.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "He's so sweet. He pointed to my latte and he said, 'Kelly, that will be the color of our children.'", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Remember how it felt when he cheated on you though? Which time?", "c": ["Pam", "Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I am not going to let Kelly throw her life away on Ryan. And it has nothing to do with access to my pediatrician. Why you would even ask or were going to ask, because I-- I feel like that question was coming.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Oh, and Andy lost his masculinity, so congratulations on that. What do you mean? Erin made it clear to me that he was unable to perform sexually last night. By contrast, I went to sleep with an erection so large it was like I was wearing no blanket at all.", "c": ["Dwight", "Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I just wanted to take the man's job, not his manhood.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Andrew, not everyone here is important. And the word is impotence. Which is important in its own way.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "'Take a man's job, but leave him his balls.' Margaret Thatcher said that... probably. Don't know. Don't read. Didn't see the movie.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "It's not just a human problem. Flounders frequently experience impotence, especially when converting from male to female and then back again to male.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I'm gonna prove it right here and now. What are you doing? What is this? Stop that! Dwight! Dwight, stop that. Stop it.", "c": ["Andy", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Um... I have other issues. I'm terrible at math. Overweight. You-- You're in great shape. A lot better shape than I am, tell you what.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Erin doesn't even like sex, remember? You said it feels like getting tackled by a skeleton.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Uh, yes, that time that it was very late. Uh, we'd had sex so many times already, I was exhausted. I could barely see. I was very drunk.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "If it makes you feel any better, I never had an orgasm until I was 42. And then when I did, it lasted till I was 44. 43 was ju-- I got nothing done.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 9.03, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "You know, my rectal electro-ejaculator is rated for bovine use only, but I could let you rent it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Dad, don't think of it as a demotion. Just think of it as a promotion to a lower level.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Small, bigger, biggest. Oh, sexual innuendo. Not intentional. Shut up!", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Our sex life is none of your businesses! And Andy is the manager, not Nellie! Stop protecting me. I'm a man-- I can protect myself.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Dad, go to hell! I'm taller than you!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "And why don't you take all your stupid memos and your stupid pens... and your dumb caramels? And your stupid face! And your stupid office! Ah! Ow.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "He does not like that wall.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Maybe we'll get sent to anger management together. That would actually be cool. I'd love for you to meet some of the guys.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I don't think you're a very good person. And forgive me, but I feel like I've said this to you before. I don't like you very much.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I've never met Ravi personally, but I'm gonna go ahead and say just having knowing you short while, Brian, that I prefer Ravi. And again, I've never even met the guy.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Our love scares them. It screws up their cookie-cutter world.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Oh, boo! Boo! Pam. Boo to you! Boo! You are toxic. You are toxic!", "c": ["Andy", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Even if the odds are 50/50 that we'll break up within the week, I wanna roll those dice. I love you, Kelly.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Andrew, if you say no one more time, you're fired. So... is there anything else you wanna say? No.", "c": ["Robert", "Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "I can't describe it. I just, for the first time in a long time, I actually feel in control. I feel... alive.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Kapoor and Kadesperate. He watches... Second line. He is a drifter out to see... It went the Indian Ocean in calms, one speck of white remains and waters called and Kelly grinned.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Ryan can never know.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "Angry Andy"}, {"t": "Smokey's dead. Smokey the Bear? Smokey Robinson, Pam. He died like an hour ago.", "c": ["Ryan", "Pam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Did you like that Tracks of My Tears is maybe the last true love song ever written?", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Well, I second that emotion.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Tracks of My Tears and what else? What are some more? What's one more?", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I'm sorry that I'm not a fan of Jason Mraz or the Beatles.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "You don't like the Beatles?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "It says here the Smokey Robinson dead thing is a hoax. It's on CNN as of two minute ago.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "$250 is nothing to the world's biggest Smokey Robinson fan.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "How can they make the Smoke Man play with someone like that?", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Don't call me a clown, Pam. You're better than that.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm being strangled, like I'm at some erotic asphyxiation sex club over on I-84. The Red Room, say, or Dominick's.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Could be a knife, could be a gun. Could be a series of guns, all lined up to shoot parallel.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Everybody told me if I moved to America I'd be murdered.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "It's going to be super weird.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "The warehouse isn't downstairs. Is it? Who knew, right?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Tonight could be the night that Darryl and I go from casual work friends to actual good friends. The only thing standing in our way is the contempt he seems to feel for me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Did anyone order a blast from the past with a side order of sexy?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Because I want to shake your body.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Where do I look? It's been so long since I did one of these things.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "No one's raping this guy.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "So, Dwight doesn't understand silent auctions. I guess he's the stupid guy in the office. Because up until now we didn't have one.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "The hero lives in this dystopian future and he flies around in a spaceship that's shaped like a treble clef.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "This guy's having a breakdown.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I'm more likely to pick up at night, say, after 9:00.", "c": ["Senator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "This confirms three things. I'm right about the Senator, I still got it, and poor Angela.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Although he's humanized at the end because he weeps uncontrollably and pees in his pants.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "We're flying so high we're cracking the sky Going to fly out of this dome My girlfriend and I", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Hey, jabroni, show some class.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "You're being a Thomas Oregon.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "And a high five. Let's do that again.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "He wanted to rock more than just my vote.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Life is Downton Abbey.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Like candy from a baby.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Then suddenly out of nowhere the US Military bought the patent from me for $20 million.", "c": ["David Wallace"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "What's another food that we like? Tacos.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I've never eaten a taco. I'm not entirely sure what they are. As long as they're not slimy, and please, God, don't let them have eyes.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "A gay man wouldn't leave the store wearing those shoes.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Hey, you bought me these shoes.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "You know what I said? Yes. Not a joke. That that was not even a joke.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I will take all of those dogs.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Hello, everyone. I'm Andy Bernard and I am going to take that bitch home.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "That is a female dog reference. This bitch understands loyalty. Sassy human reference.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "You can administer it orally, but he's going to puke it up. So other end's best.", "c": ["Volunteer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Kenny's a therapy dog. He apparently thinks you're in some kind of emotional crisis.", "c": ["Volunteer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Stupid dog.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I'd have to be a monster to root for that. A lonely, aging monster.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Nellie trying to eat tacos visual gag", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "All I had to do was look up the prices, idiots. Suck it!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Your donation is the largest we've ever received at over $34,000.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "When did it become about the flower arrangements? And the white wine spritzers? Hmm? And all the dinner rolls?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "These tables tarted up like Victorian whores.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Why does this always happen to me?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Yeah, he should be. It's his first day without a muzzle.", "c": ["Volunteer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to you.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Sometimes I feel like everyone I work with is an idiot. And by sometimes, I mean all times. All the times. Every of the time.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Doesn't really poop. It's perfect. Nothing to pick up.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I have to prop her eyes open so she can see it.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "She smells horrible. It's unbelievable. But I don't want to put her in the bath. I'm afraid that she'll drown.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Man, that stinks.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I invented a new power drink made out of beet runoff. Mmm. Mmm!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Mr. Schrute, the results are in. You're not the father. I told you. God.", "c": ["Doctor", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "On! Oh, my God! Oh! What a summer! An emotional roller coaster.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "I ran over a turtle in the parking lot. But then I saved him by gluing his shell back together.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "But I'm not that good at puzzles.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "I crushed his shell again. But I rebuilt him even better that time.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "But it turned out the turtle was already dead. Probably when I ran over him the first time.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "You are really good at modesty.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "But watch this guy make a billion dollars off my idea. He said if it takes off, he's going to buy us a new car. An Altima or better.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Miami University, in Ohio.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Enjoy the snow, losers!", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "They call it the Silicon Prairie.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "This is not garbage. It's my clothes.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "I don't think anything's going to change in our lives now. With work and two kids, I guess nothing interesting is going to happen to us for a long, long time.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. It's called a garbage can. Helpless.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "They're like the new Jim and Dwight.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Hey, New Jim. Come sit on my face.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "No, Pete is not the new Jim. The only thing we have in common is that neither of us wants to sit on Meredith's face. And if that makes him the new Jim, then every human being in the world is the new Jim.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Three days on a mountain. It'll change you. The things we think we need. Clocks! Yeah, right.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "They called me 'iceman.' You will be called Plop. What? Why? 'Cause you're always taking dumps.", "c": ["Andy", "Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "You will be called Fart. Because you fart all the time. I love it!", "c": ["Andy", "Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Whoa! Mind blown! It's like father and son.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "In a way, it's like I have a son. And who knows? Maybe someday they'll hire someone who looks like a younger version of him. And then I'll have a grandson.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Angela's cats are cute. So cute that you just want to eat them. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "He loves those pants.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Please. After the turtle?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "I am enormously proud of what I did for that turtle!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person. Those guys always turn back, Angela.", "c": ["Angela", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "I ate a worm.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Now I know why Michael hated you so much.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Body by Cheez-it. Ah! Humor. I have it, too.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "You have a beautiful round head.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Hey, is this code for, like, gay stuff? 'Cause, if so, that's totally fine. Like, I'm fine with it, but, you know, you should know that I'm into the ladies.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Spoken like a true root man.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Paranoid? I'm not familiar with the word. And I really don't have time to learn new words right now, okay? A pudgy 22-year-old is trying to take my job.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Yeah. There is a shark hiding inside that adorable little cherub.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "There is no belt above black. Is there a belt above black? You should ask him. It's a color you would never expect.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Black or white, I'm fine with either, but not both.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Now, I don't like to throw around the 'B' word. But I'm going to be a huge bitch to you.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "But if you Toby out, then you'll feel like a real Nellie.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "You, uh, you a sports guy? Sure. Boxing, tennis. Oh! Any team sports? NASCAR, The Amazing Race.", "c": ["Jim", "Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "You mean horses? No. Like baseball, the baseball team. I like the Red Sox. I'm from Vermont, so...", "c": ["Pete", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "I have nothing in common with Plop.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Hey, all right. Whoa, you suck.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "This seems like the kind of thing white people with dreadlocks do.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "I've always been good at anything that required balance. My doctor says I have gigantic inner ears.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Who ordered the hot apple fail?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Got ourselves a yard sale!", "c": ["Rafe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Balls and face!", "c": ["Feather"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Well, it's official. Old Dwight is lame and New Dwight is cool.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Slacklining. Big deal. Untie that rope, give it to a couple of pigtailed schoolgirls, let them start jumping with it while chanting a rhyme and giggling about boys. Doesn't seem so macho now, does it? It's a jump rope!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Wow, maybe Pete is the new Jim.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Dwight, you may find this hard to believe, but I love my boring life. Exactly the way it is.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "I can't use Phyllis. Are you kidding me? The moment she steps off this bar, I'll be launched into space.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "It's the only time I've seen him cry, other than our wedding night.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "C'est la vie. Please don't teach the cat French.", "c": ["Oscar", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Everyone thinks the new guys are so cool, 'cause they can slackline.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Hey, Clark! This is what a real salesman looks like! They say that you only live once, and I'm about to prove it!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yep, I'm all in.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "In the parking lot today, there was a circus. A copier did tricks on the high wire. A lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. There was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator. A strongman crushed a turtle. I laughed and I cried. Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "Oh! Swish. It was nothing to do with me. I just happen to be sitting near to where the bins are.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "There are two things that I am passionate about, recycling and revenge.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "New Guys"}, {"t": "A wheel is supposed to spin.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-h-guh...", "c": ["Unknown character", "Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Yuck. Boring. All she talks about is chores.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "A wheel wants to spin, Pam.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Big money, big money.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "This sucks. Yeah, seriously, it's like everything on there's work.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I don't think that you understand wheels.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "The one thing that is not on the chore wheel is chores, but they were right. It's more fun this way.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Tiny wheel! Tiny wheel!", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "The tiny wheel actually does have chores.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "It's so cute, no one seems to mind.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Toilets! Aww.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Multiple characters"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I think the only weird thing about going to your wife's ex-fiancee's wedding on a weekday at 8 AM is that it's your wife's ex-fiancee.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Come on, not even Roy will have hot dogs at his wedding. I planned a wedding with him. He wanted hot dogs.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, it could be a nice letter. I write nice letters to companies all the time. That's really nice.", "c": ["Erin", "Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "This election thing is crazy, right?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Yeah. I accidentally read it. It's not a nice letter.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Andy has shot down all of my special projects thus far, but this one is about charity so I'd like to see him piss on that one.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Would you like me to take your peel?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I started a new business with my college friend, but Pam doesn't know. Um, actually I... I did tell Pam, and we decided no, but then I decided 'yes, anyway,' so I'm thinking there's another conversation coming, and it's hard to know when that will be.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Listen to this. They give a poor person like a goat or something. It's a great prank.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I wanna work with, uh, Jimmy Carter and Help Build Gnomes.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I will not be participating, as there is no evidence that charity works.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I give to a foundation that teaches homeless children nautical flag signaling... Changes Lives.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for the preservation of nautical flag signaling.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Fine, I choose the Global Relief Foundation... which was recently discovered to be a front for the Taliban!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "The Taliban is the worst. Great heroin, though.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "The nanny state is over, ladies and gentlemen. You're welcome.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Come on, if it wasn't for you, I never would've met Laura. But seriously, could've dodged a bullet on that one. Just kidding.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I started a gravel company. I mean, who knew it would take off?", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Not gravel, obviously.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "He's got a $50,000 sports car.", "c": ["Kenny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I got a buddy that's a big time local news producer, and I can't tell you his name, but it'd blow your mind. Is it Duncan?", "c": ["Clark", "Erin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "You'll just come over, put on a little lipstick, loosen up with a glass of red wine, and then we'll just run through a few stories... with a couple different outfits.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Clark's not my friend. He is the douche that sits next to me at the office. My friends are Scott, Glenn and Rob, but you don't know them.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I mean, what if the ad had been for a CEO or for a brain surgeon?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I thought she was my waitress, and, uh, took her three weeks to tell me that she actually owned the place.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "He plays piano? No. Roy? No.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "You know how I said I was taking boxing lessons? Actually, I was doing this", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Yes, but what I didn't tell you is that I actually bought the tickets. We only didn't go because it was... It was an away game. In Phoenix.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "They should really tell you that more specifically. I mean, every game is an away game for one of the teams.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Did I ever tell you about the time that my brothers videotaped the lottery announcement and bought the winning numbers the next day, and then, played the tape for me the next week... And you thought you guys were millionaires. You heard that one.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "That you thought you were millionaires. That's funny. That's all right.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "The senator and I still have mystery. I'm always waiting to see what he's gonna surprise me with next.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "You support the Taliban abroad, so I assume you're willing to live by their rules here.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Absolutely, I will.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I feared Nelly had some sort of a plan, but she used a ridiculous font. You don't have a plan! When you use a ridiculous font, no one thinks you have a plan.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "This is a lovely pen, and it's mine now, because I stole it.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "That means you're not serious, or someone's getting their hand cut off.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "will have to chop off my hand.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I suggest you spend some quality time together, just you and your hand, tie a shoe, toss a salad. Do any of the two-hand activities that you'll miss the most.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Something low-cut, because the camera makes everything seem higher-cut. Really? Yeah, industry secret.", "c": ["Clark", "Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "And then, you know, maybe just a robe to wear in between takes, but I probably got one that she could borrow at my place, so...", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Thank God someone here knows what they're talkin' about.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Guess I'll just head over to the mall then, buy Erin some sexy, fun outfits. That Clark, huh?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "What is the craziest place you ever made whoopee? Language. Who was Pam's first celebrity crush?", "c": ["Unknown character", "Kevin", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "John Stamos was temporary. I quickly moved on to Johnny... Johnny Depp.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Um, I was having a separate conversation with Kevin?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I think maybe they're actually is something I don't know about Jim.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Andy made me his consigliere, which means assistant regional manager. I guess he thought I'd be into The Godfather because I'm black. Wrong! I'm into The Godfather 'cause I'm a cinephile.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I like Scarface 'cause I'm black.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Why not her credibility or her reliability?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Cronkite was hot. If I could go back in time, I'd take that moustache ride.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I will do whatever it takes to get the job. Whatever it takes.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Afghan president Hamid Karzai declared a new policy of dollar days throughout the country, promising low, low prices on all 2012 Kia Sentras and Sonatas.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "A little bit here, a little bit there. I bet you didn't think I knew current events.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Pause after news. For Channel 11 News, I'm Erin Hannon. No, pause longer.", "c": ["Clark", "Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I ran into this guy from my high school who has just gotten divorced, and he hit on me in the mall. And I didn't tell you because... I don't know, I felt embarrassed, and I didn't know if you'd be mad or worried, but anyway, I thought you'd wanna know.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "That didn't happen. You would've told me right away. Yeah, I would've.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "God, give it up, Beesly. You know me too well.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Now, I'd say Clark could be your co-host. He's already doing camera. Somebody who's already got rapport with Erin, maybe. I don't know.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "127 Hours. It's about this guy who... No, no, no, no, no spoilers. Please.", "c": ["Darryl", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, he tried to, but the fire door was blocked. He sure did.", "c": ["Erin", "Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "I could do a couple more takes. We could do it in close-up. That might even be better for editing.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "So this is a single. Hey, even this doesn't work out for me, I'm just glad I had the guts to do it, and maybe it'll work out for Andy.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, he's a genius, you know? He was in graduate programs at Yale, Columbia and NYU all at the same time. Whoop-de-doo. That doesn't make you a genius.", "c": ["Nellie", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "You're the stupid one. Like you. You, you, you, you, you...", "c": ["Dwight", "Nellie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "Roys Wedding"}, {"t": "Who am I? I'm Jim. We've been working together for 12 years. Weird joke, Dwight. You're not Jim. Jim's not Asian. You seriously never noticed? Hey, hats off to you for not seeing race.", "c": ["Jim/Asian Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 9.18, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Asian Jim knows Jim's sales details and voicemail password", "c": ["Jim/Asian Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Pam treats Asian Jim as her husband, making dinner reservations", "c": ["Pam", "Jim/Asian Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Dwight's confused stammering reaction when he sees the real Jim", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "This morning, I brushed my teeth in the shower. Saved myself 90 seconds. Which I just used to explain this to you. Damn it.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Whoa. That person has really gotten him... or herself... into quite a predicament.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "French. It's a great language. If you're a chain-smoking acrobat.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "It has a lot of nudity. Which I fast-forward through to get to the chopped-off heads.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Nellie! Get your wrinkly old balls in here.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "I have a thing. A thing of soup. Which I've been wanting to try.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Wife of Barack, loves gardening, wants to wipe out fat children.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "what's your stance on politics? Or, what is the best war to do? And I will just be like, 'duh...'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Yeah, we noticed early on Andy really appreciates enthusiasm. So we decided the best way to get ahead here is to be his cheerleaders.", "c": ["Nate", "Gabe"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "It's starting to have this reverse effect, though, where I really do think the stuff he does is awesome. Yeah, me too. It's weird. Hard to remember what's real at this point. Just clap through it, man.", "c": ["Nate", "Gabe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Darryl said, 'cool, man.' He called me a cool man.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Well, somebody owned somebody. And I don't think anybody would buy an Andy.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Pam, I barely know how to turn on my computer.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Right on, brother. Word dat.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Angela insisted that all the animals be fully clothed.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Well, if it makes you feel any better, the Dothraki word for 'slave master,' azzafrok, is a term of respect.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "That you're learning a made-up language from HBO's Game of Thrones? I have a lot going on today, but this was a great nerd-out.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "People laughed at Klingon at first, and now you can major in it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Hey, boss. I am so thirsty, can I have a scoop of water?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes by Paul Simon, featuring, Ladysmith African-American Mombazo.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Pam, I'm related to Tonya Harding. No, I'm just practicing my lying.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "My ex behaved like Nixon. All of the lying, none of the sexual charisma.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "You're a cocky little thing, aren't you, Pam?", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Wayne Johnson? The Rock? You mean Dwayne, and no.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Dwight's grandfather... Was a member of the Bund, which is not technically the same thing as the Nazi party.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "I was joking about that whole Bund thing. Ho, the look on your faces.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "We merely transported them. Which, at worst, makes us amoral middlemen.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "What if I said that my dad beat me, and I just left out the croquet of it all?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Hiring Scranton's most dangerous young muralist to paint the warehouse wall.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "She never loved you. / I am gonna find you someone better, and rich. And Filipino. But we'll break that to her later.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "I don't know what I was so worried about. I have the best wife in the world.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "I still can't believe he didn't tell me.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Andys Ancestry"}, {"t": "Andy presents 'Summer Softball Epic Fails' - a compilation video of their team's mistakes", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Oscar: 'A blooper reel? What is this, 2005? Do I look like Bob Saget?'", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Pete and Clark doing mock introductions: 'Hi, I'm Pete! Puberty is such a drag, man.' 'And I'm Clark, I like to eat toilet paper.'", "c": ["Pete", "Clark"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Andy suddenly shifts to a 'solemn moment to remember Jerry in the warehouse, who passed away this year'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Oscar: 'That was just normal video with you making vulgar noises.' Andy: 'Well, I worked with what I had, Oscar.'", "c": ["Oscar", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Jim's overthinking of protecting Pam: 'Like if we were in some biker bar and she mouthed off to some bikers... Wham! You've got to go through me first!'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Andy's hourglass monologue with baroque dependent clauses while refusing to pause the timer", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Andy: 'A baby what? A human?'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Andy's paranoid response: 'Fall right into your plagiarism entrapment scheme? I don't think so.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Andy's talking head: 'If she tells the truth about how evil and unfit to be a mother she is, then yeah, I'll sign that.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Meredith: 'I already ditched my uterus, and I ain't losing any more good parts!'", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Stanley's enthusiastic 'A week off, that'd be great' in response to shutting down the office", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Jim microwaving one kernel of popcorn to 'get his wife a week off from work'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Dwight's superhero justification: 'Most of my childhood heroes got their powers that way'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'Breast pain.' 'No knobbies, no probbies.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Dwight's pause at 'infertility' and uncertain 'Yeah, right'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Jim discovering the popcorn has 'crowned' - some kernels have popped", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Pam asking about 'Laverne's Pies Tires Fixed Also' and the specific pie order negotiation", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Work Bus promotional video's corporate speak: 'In this age of belt-tightening and less empowered workers, a work bus is how tomorrow gets things done'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Kevin getting stuck and the 'Lose weight!' 'I'm trying, sorry' exchange", "c": ["Kevin", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Toby: 'I wish! No, I made some short lists, I had a couple of sleepovers, but I never managed to get in the end zone.'", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Andy's medical circulation excuse met with 'Boy, I will hammerspank your rear'", "c": ["Andy", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Pam getting covered in coffee and the awkward aftermath", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Jim's talking head: 'Really? Smirking? What can I say? I love justice.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Andy's response to pie demands: 'All right! The fat people have spoken!'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Bus driving away while someone is still outside with 'Stop. Come back. Too late.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Pam's shabooya roll call: 'My name is Pam / I like to paint / You think you're better? / Oh, no, you ain't!'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Kevin's shabooya: 'My name is Kevin / That is my name / They call me Kevin / 'Cause that's my name'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Kevin suddenly doing complex pie math in his head vs struggling with simple salad math", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.58, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Dwight's breakdown: 'You win, Jim! You win... You are the alpha male... go buy the whole world a pie!' 'That's impossible.'", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Dwight abandoning them at the gas station", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Dwight's fertility confession: 'I'm barren, Jim. My trouser hives are void of honey.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.78, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'I thought I would be a father and instead I am a eunuch, neutered by my own building.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Jim's prank reveal: 'Dwight, that was a prank.' Dwight: 'That's genius. That's the best prank you've ever done.'", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Andy on Toby's letter: 'It's inaccurate, dishonest, and in a word, dong water.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Jim's inappropriate fertility questions to Dwight about positions and conception time", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Dwight seeing Nellie crying and Jim's confused 'I don't think that's Nellie'", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Dwight's 'bildenkinder' explanation - childless landlords calling tenants their children", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Andy's reference letter changes: 'She'll make a wonderful mother to any child who can overlook weird accents'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Kevin trying to provoke Oscar into a pie fight: 'You don't have the guts, you stupid, dumb do-do face'", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "Andy's shabooya: 'My name is Andy / I don't do drugs / Now check the style / Of Flatt and Scruggs!'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Work Bus"}, {"t": "This year I decided to really get into the spirit of Halloween.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "*** decision I've ever made.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "My *** head went into the pumpkin no problem... but I can't get it out.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "I mean, the pumpkin should rot off of my head in a month or two... right?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "I'm Doctor Cinderella... Cece's really into princesses now, so we decided to turn them into positive female role models. I'm an oncologist.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "And you are a dog. No, I'm a puppy. Dang it! I was worried that would happen.", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Sure I am. I am... one of the Men In Black guys.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Unless he has a secret costume that he told everyone about except for me.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Getting a lot of mileage out of this, aren't you? Yeah, well, get used to it, bud.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "I could have sworn I saw some Treble somewhere.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "What lab did these little clones escape from?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "You went to Cornell? Yeah. Okay, ha, ha, ha, ha.", "c": ["Jim", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Where you boys staying? How does it work in the rooms? You get a privacy partition?", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "They might actually call me up to solo on George Michael's Faith. That was one of my signature songs.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "I'm eating Jims. Must eat more Jims.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Hello, little pill. What do you do?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Translation, there's a madman in our midst.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "I'm Sexy Toby. Gross. I love it.", "c": ["Toby", "Oscar", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "This is a pill that combats insanity, okay? Whoever is taking it is not only insane... they are now off their meds.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "I once saw him yell at Phyllis for sneezing wrong.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "When I got the nickname Boner Champ, that is when I became me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Did you say you've got AIDS? No, I don't have AIDS. That's not what I said.", "c": ["Cornell student", "Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "You at least want to know why they call me Boner Champ? I thought Broccoli Rob was the Boner Champ.", "c": ["Andy", "Cornell student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Andy Bernard is the Boner Champ.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "We were thinking somewhere between $5,000, $10,000. I can do the full $10,000. We should just... all in.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Smear some peanut butter on my forehead. You know, to protect his brain from the nanobots that the government put in the air conditioning.", "c": ["Dwight", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "I can't really picture it. Can you get it on there? Yeah. And maybe get the cheeks.", "c": ["Darryl", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "I had sex with a snowman. I just went at that thing. Cold would've stopped most people, but I stayed locked in.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "And I told Phyllis not to put it out, but she insisted, so anyway...", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm the electoral college. Ouch! Right on target.", "c": ["Oscar", "State Senator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Are... are you me? Yeah. I thought I'd, you know, be you.", "c": ["Toby", "Darryl"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "I have anxiety all the time. Every waking moment of my life is sheer torture.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Cool, free upper. Ha, ha! The jig is up, psychopath!", "c": ["Creed", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Man, by the end, I guess it was... about ten. 'About' ten? Ten. It was the full $10,000.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "That's what she said. What, am I overdoing it?", "c": ["Michael", "Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "No, do not sing that. Do not... man.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "I thought you were Adam Lambert.", "c": ["Cornell student"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "They said they needed 20 ccs of George Michael, stat, so just... wham! I sprang into action.", "c": ["Broccoli Rob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "You pick 12 alums from any year to back you up and I'll do the same, and I'm so confident that I'll win, I won't even warm up.", "c": ["Broccoli Rob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Why don't you ask Trey Anastasio about my pipes? He said, and I quote, 'hey, Rob, nice pipes.'", "c": ["Broccoli Rob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "You literally have to? No, I'm just... I'm saying, what would happen if they didn't sing it? Would they go to jail? Would they be shot?", "c": ["Angela", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "It turns out Pam really, really hates Monster Mash. I mean, like, never bring that song up in front of her.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "If I am not Boner Champ... I don't know who I am.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Her name is 'mom.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "He's just having a tough time, being wifeless and a high-pressure job and his crazy cousin Mose. Other cousin Mose.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "My parents are broke.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "Here Comes Treble"}, {"t": "Why?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "I'm not a day trader. I'm just a first responder in a disaster.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "his brother, Walt, Jr., locked himself in the wine cellar", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Are the Nards hurting? Yeah, you bet. Got kicked pretty hard. Family's shattered, supersad. But I'm kind of crushing it in the damage-control department.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "I wish my dad could see me now. Of course, he caused this whole mess, so him.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "I don't know what that means.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Yeah, she hosts The Dr. Laura Show. Nope, that's Dr. Laura.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "I do! I do! I do! I do! I do!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Yeah, wow. Ten reams of 40-pound bond at only $6.90 after discount? Uh, whatever you say, Brad Pitt!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Which place? The one right near Philly? I could be there in an hour.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Greta, the tittle-tattle, prattled on about the little metal bottle. Oh, my God. She spat a bit of spittle on the mottled brittle cattle in a bitter battle...", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Stop questioning my methods, okay? I was chosen for this task for a very good reason. No. You chose yourself.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Totally, except it is a no-go. This boat was the heart and soul of our family, so... What else we got? Non-boat ideas.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "She could get, like, 60 packages of ramen noodles for five bucks. She could eat for a month.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "I worked at a Jiffy Lube. See? I bet you wouldn't sell that Jiffy Lube for all the money in the world, would you, Darryl? I would if I owned it and I went broke.", "c": ["Darryl", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "What are you going to do? Cry about it? Excuse me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Well, why don't I go and tell Dwight so he can stop being such a complete nipple?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "We cannot let that happen.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "This isn't how I would cheer up just anyone, but it's a girlfriend's job to know her man, and I know Andy. He is seriously juvenile. He's like 40, though, right? Oh, no. He couldn't be more than, like, thirties, tops.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Help! My teeth are all messed up in my mouth.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Oh, really, Angela? That's interesting. Because I do think that I could surprise you. I think that I could surprise you all the... Ya! I have to go to the bathroom!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "That actually wasn't the worst cover. I'd say at least once a week Kevin runs out of the room shouting that he has to go to the bathroom.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "All I ever wanted to do was sail the damn thing. But Dad wouldn't let me. He said, 'You can't be a skipper until you're a man.' You know, I'd reach for the wheel and he'd just smack my hand away.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Does your shirt have buttons? Yes. I'm so sorry. We are going to have to ask you to remove the shirt altogether.", "c": ["Iris", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Your voice, it's sounding a little feminine. That's impossible. Are you by any chance wearing pants with a metallic zipper?", "c": ["Iris", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "he just wanted a little Mexican brought in. I can't! It's too much! Please stop.", "c": ["Oscar", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Yeah, Oscar's in big trouble.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "His gambling problem must have resurfaced. I'm going to have to send him home until I can do an investifafion.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Unless it's exposed to oxygen. Then it becomes extremely toxic.", "c": ["Sondra"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Get out of here, moron! Okay! Excuse me, Mr. Dwight, who are you talking to? Uh... No one.", "c": ["Dwight", "Iris"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "'Cause then I would get my own office. And I wouldn't screw up your secret with Angela. I've been really worried about that.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Those figures I gave you? They're false. No. I was mad at Kevin. We had a fight, and I acted vindictively. So you set him up. Yes. He's innocent.", "c": ["Angela", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "A few years ago, when I was on the jury, the Scranton Strangler? Sure. I always thought he might have been set up, but I felt pressured to convict. Well, that's got to be tough. Tough? I put an innocent man on death row.", "c": ["Kevin", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Listen, the person responsible for this catastrophe is the CEO and Chairman, David Wallace!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "So this is how your family came to America. Move. Sorry? I'm trying to rig a boat here. I don't know how to do that when you're standing in the way. I'm not a ghost, so I can't walk through people.", "c": ["Erin", "Boat Captain"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Don't do that. Oh, it's okay. My girlfriend and I were actually gonna take her for a little spin and a picnic before you guys head out tonight. You know what? Get some dinner, on me... No. Nope. Can't do that.", "c": ["Andy", "Boat Captain"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Wow! I can smack you all day if you keep touching what you're not supposed to touch.", "c": ["Boat Captain"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Damn it! Screw you, Dad!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Andy, you never had to sail the boat to be a man. Fine, but I could have. As long as we're on this boat, as far as I'm concerned, you're the captain. I am the captain. Yeah. Right? Yeah! I'm the captain.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "For those just joining us, terror in Greenwich, where the police have surrounded the house of Dunder Mifflin CEO David Wallace. Wallace is said to be despondent over the company's stock plummet, and has taken a mailman hostage.", "c": ["Radio Host"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "I think it was yesterday. I thought you were in rehab. Yeah, I just, uh... I figured I'd get that first relapse out of the way.", "c": ["Walt", "Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "but I've decided to sail it to Bermuda. Bahamas, Andy. Same thing.", "c": ["Andy", "Walt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "But David, listen to me carefully. I'm going to need you to let the mailman go, okay? Walk out of the house with your hands on top of your head. Everything is going to be fine. Dunder Mifflin will be in good hands while you're away in prison.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Overall, I'd say my first radio interview went pretty much the way I expected.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Oh, I just had an intuition that someone I love needed a little of my attention today. Oscar! Looking very healthy. Getting lots of vigorous exercise?", "c": ["The Senator"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Oscar is having sex with the Senator and Angela doesn't even know. Her life is a complete sham!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Would I have gone with him if he'd asked me? On his sailboat cruise to the Caribbean? Yes. I think that would have been really fun and romantic.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "Does he have a flipper? Oh. Nope. It's not that. He, uh... He flipped a table one time when he was drunk. He sounds like an idiot. Yeah, he is.", "c": ["Erin", "Pete"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "The Boat"}, {"t": "That Swayze sure can dance dirty.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "They're like two flaming meatballs in my skull.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "No, Woman. No Cry.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "also helps me combat the glare bear. That's what I call the sun now.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Andy, it's Darryl. Take your drawers off your head.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Ow! Oh! Oh, no. Ah. That's not good.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Andy falling overboard during dramatic speech", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Why would you ever call me when the manager's out of town?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "You didn't call Jim. That seems significant.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Do you want it? No. Do you use it? No. Does it inexplicably show up on your doorstep three times a year? Yes, yes, and yes.", "c": ["David Wallace"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "There is a reason we in the paper industry call this thing 'the white whale.'", "c": ["David Wallace"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Look at all that sweet blubber.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Eat it, Jim! Eat it, Phyllis! Eat-- Where's Stanley?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Gina Rogers at Apex Technology said you called her 'gy-na' for your entire meeting.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Gy-na said that?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Hey, remember that week in the '90s when we got bagels?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I miss Clinton.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I hope you like being turned on all the time.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I have very fertile hair glands.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Smile if you love men's prostates.", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I think the Senator is having an affair.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I literally have nightmares in which what just happened happens.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "And then I make Angela's husband spoon me back to bed.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Blake's also a guy's name, so he may be spending his afternoons with a guy named Blake. So nothing to worry about.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "You just walked into her office... and begin. - Hello. - Hello. May I please speak to your boss? - No, she is the boss. - I am? Yes.", "c": ["Dwight", "Phyllis", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "no one would ever believe that she would be a boss.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I will tell her what her needs are and then fill them. This is gonna work out best for you if you just relax and do nothing. And once I'm finished, it's over.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Have you ever killed a woman? How many women have you killed? Please, sir, will you not kill me?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's sounding kind of spooky-sexy over here, Halpert.", "c": ["Colin"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "We're trying to reach Jim Halpert, not Batman.", "c": ["Colin"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "some organisms have external hairs that vibrate to indicate auditory stimulation, but unfortunately, our external hairs don't vibrate at all.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "children of the world coming together, cutting down trees to make paper. But not in a child labor-y way.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "he looks like he's laboring over a stool, having just eaten human flesh.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I carried each one of them for nine months inside of my torso and then pushed them out of my vagina.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I used to watch Pulp Fiction and laugh, and now I'm like, 'that poor gimp is somebody's child.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I had a barber once who used to comb my hair gently.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "He used to fight dogs. Like, he used to make dogs fight, or he actually fought dogs? Little of this, little of that.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "They're all fatties.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "dog style.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I'd like to see that run for office.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Hey! Are those skateboarders back? Where are they? Little punks.", "c": ["Jim's neighbor"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God in heaven.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Jan used to be one of my superiors, and she is one of the most erratic and terrifying people I have ever met.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Your daughter could be a bubble-bath model. I could just bite her head off.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "I just saw your face. Oh. I'm sorry. It's for the thing. I know. That's great. It just-- it makes it look like there's an eyebrow in the middle of your face.", "c": ["Erin", "Pete"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "you look like a cyclops whose eye fell out... which is great.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Jan's daughter singing song about how great her mommy is", "c": ["Astrid"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Well, it's not really much of a comparison, is it? I mean, 'Cece' is two letters, and 'Astrid' is... I mean, there's even some adults who-- who-- who can't spell it.", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Try to spell it, Pam. Um... A... X? I don't-- you got me.", "c": ["Jan", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "You thought I had no more cards left to play. Well, I've got one. Man-boy! The ace of babes.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Where's the quiznos? You're the quiznos.", "c": ["Ryan", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "Do you have a valid passport?", "c": ["Jan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "415-YCL. That's a license number? That's all you need.", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "women love gossip, it's like * you people.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Whale"}, {"t": "So I just have to wait and see when she comes in, if she's cold and awkward and cruel to me, then great, it's business as usual.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Of course, ask me a... Questions.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Yes, a little bit. Yes! I think that thermostat is acting up again. It's the stupid thermostat! That thing's a catastrophe.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "This is a woman who married a man who is obviously a homosexual.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Well, it's finally happened. Pam has ceased caring.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Queen of the primer, that one.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Last week, Jim wasn't there and they named the company Athlead. I could have prevented that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Hey, David? How'd you like a guy who's not here as much, gets paid the same amount of salary and has bigger fish to fry in Philadelphia?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "I think it's good. He likes fishing.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "I asked Andy and he told me to chillax. And then went away on a big, long boat ride.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Don't give me a pointless office chore, because I will build a little paper house.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Come on in, the water's fine. Dwight, it's not that kind of meeting. Put your clothes back on!", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "I know. That's not why I'm naked. I always work out without my clothes.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "If I'm not in your panties, I don't go vigilantes.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "The text went through. All we can do is sit and wait. Oh! Look at that. Yeah, he's free any time. Not a problem.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "When is my birthday? Unfair. When's my birthday? I don't know, because we're not friends.", "c": ["Stanley", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "You're not getting this, Peter. Make it go wider, up.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "He's a sweet kid, Darryl, but not the sharpest guy in the drawer. Kevin, I can hear you.", "c": ["Kevin", "Pete"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Well, this documentary crew has been following our every move for the past nine years, but I don't see them, so I think we're good.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "You tell me. What is this? That's the receipt for my gun. Read the receipt. That's a $300 gun. Someone could steal it.", "c": ["Trevor", "Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "It's just I think less of paintings with a lot of shrubs, so I'm going to limit myself to one shrub.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "You paint wall now? I mean, it's probably going to be a few minutes, so you can just go back to doing whatever you were doing. I wait.", "c": ["Hide", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "This next card comes to us thanks to Meredith Palmer, who called Eastern Pennsylvania Seminary a, quote, 'sausage factory.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "So, what's the job? Murder. Okay. That's the big one.", "c": ["Trevor", "Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "I've had great success by defecating in a paper bag, putting it on the porch. I've been on the receiving end of that quite a few times. It's devastating.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "But it's cruel, because a woman with damaged knees can't scrub worth a damn.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "I'll have the surf and turf, with a side order of lobster. Not enough lobster. Side order.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Thanks, Oscar, you're such an angel. I just gave her a cookie, and she called me an angel, so, yeah, we're good. Yeah, we dodged a bullet.", "c": ["Angela", "Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "All right, this next one goes to Darryl for pocket-dialing a customer while having sex. Actually that was the sound of me eating spaghetti, but I'm going to let them think the other thing.", "c": ["Kevin", "Darryl"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Kevin! What did I say? What did I just say?", "c": ["Kevin", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Because sometimes when I look at my hands, I don't even recognize them. Tell me about it. Whose hands are these? They're not my hands.", "c": ["Stanley", "Phyllis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "You? Little Miss Priss? You wouldn't fart on a butterfly.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "He and the Senator are gaying each other.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Your nostrils tell a different story. They flare like that every time you're engaging in deception. Hello again, naughty nostrils.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "There are a bunch of construction workers in the warehouse without their trousers drinking diet sodas. You have got to see this. They're extraordinary.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "When Angela found out that you seduced her husband, we hired a guy to break your kneecaps.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "I'm trying to save those precious knees you're always bragging about!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "I have masculinity issues, I have... Stop! No! I got it! Disarm! I summon, I summon, I summon... And disarm! Now!", "c": ["Trevor", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Your mama is so fat, when she wears red people yell 'Hey, Kool-Aid!' Yeah, your mom is fat! This is Pam Halpert!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Our crowning complaint card comes to us thanks to Pamela Halpert. For insulting a client's recently deceased mother. A woman who struggled with obesity all her life.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Jazz is stupid! I mean, just play the right notes!", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "I did enjoy grinding your beans, son. Yeah, we really did peel your grapes. Shucking your peas!", "c": ["Phyllis", "Stanley"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "You know what? I'm okay with that.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Where does gayness come from and how is it transmitted?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "What is it called when two men intertwine their penises like the snakes on the medic-alert bracelet?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Is it called Red Vine-ing? We heard it was called Red Vine-ing. People Red-Vine?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "When two gay men have sex, how do they know whose penis will open up to accept the other person's penis?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "The Target"}, {"t": "Well, yeah, but I'm wondering if it's too blue. Like, am I making a statement with the blueness?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "so I can get a real good night of restless sleep and nervous puking", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Some people don't care about Jim's new sports job in Phila-whatever", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "From the Greek philia, meaning 'love,' and adelph, meaning 'Adolf.' 'The city that loves Adolf.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "It makes your neck look like an old mop handle", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "I mean, it says 'X-mas party,' but I think we all know what that's code for", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "I didn't realize how many of Angela's opinions I agreed with, until she tried to have my kneecap shattered for sleeping with her husband", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "We're out there sweating our balls off every day, bustin' our balls. We deserve a Christmas party!", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "As in the mini version of regular cupcakes, which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "There's me and my brother jeb breaking the ceremonial pig rib. He doesn't come back for Christmas anymore. The sepia tint is from an app on my phone.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "hufflepuffs and schnauzerhosen, and meet this glenpickle guy", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "I'm just hoping German terrorists don't take over this Christmas party. Make me go all John McClane on their asses.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "And I think... I think you mean John McCain.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "None of this makes any sense to me!", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "My brother dared me to memorize it, and I did it, and I loved doing it.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Reaction beat - Pam's meaningful look about Jim forgetting to take her to Philly", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "George Howard Skub, AKA the alleged Scranton strangler, because he's in prison for something he may not have done.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "I would start at the beginning, but I think I need to go farther back.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Maybe it's going to be great. And, if it's great... I think we all know what that would mean to us.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Please just take my name off of everything. Just take her name off of everything.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "You have never been cooler.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "this is the very spoon that guided my soft skull through the birth canal when I was born. Enjoy.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Somebody's found the hog maw. What? It's a Pennsylvania Dutch specialty. Hog maw. That's a beauty, isn't it?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "I assure you does not taste like peppermint. It tastes like sheep feces.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I have to run to my car to take a dump.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "I wish my car had a bathroom.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "saw Life of Pi, got super depressed and introspective. Gonna hang out here a while. Maybe a couple of weeks.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Here's the thing about moonlight. It's not sunlight.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Judgment is nigh, for the Belsnickel ist I! Yes, he is finally nigh. I am nigh!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "You know how they say some people were born to be bad? Well, I was born to be Belsnickel.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "So he's kind of like Santa, except dirty and worse. No, much better... no one fears Santa the way they fear Belsnickel.", "c": ["Dwight", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "His partner, Zwarte Piet, or Black Peter, a slave boy, often portrayed in colorful pantaloons and blackface. uh. No, Dwight. No.", "c": ["Oscar", "Everyone"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Jim, that guy. You gotta stick to your word! Like when you say something to a buddy, a real buddy... what are you gonna do, lie? To your buddy? It's awful.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "I checked it more than once. Okay, so you made a list, you checked it twice, and now you're gonna find out who's... Impish or admirable. Damn.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "It's a set of rubber gaskets for canning jars. I'd rather have the bowl. You can't have the bowl!", "c": ["Phyllis", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "It was about a fickle pickle salesman who would tickle you for a nickel.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Jim Halpert, cheer or fear? Belsnickel is here. I judge your year as impish. Are you nuts? I judge you impish! That's enough, I'm done! Impish!", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "That was the perfect last Christmas party.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "And guess what, kids. Belsnickel isn't real. It's me, Dwight!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "It's like in It's a Wonderful Life when Jimmy Stewart realizes that all those people at the building and loan were just jerks, and he was the real hero.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Meredith's a little cute. I'm just realizing. She got, like, a Emma Stone thing.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "I'm gonna tell Jim to go fuck himself.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "You crush it into a powder, and you snort it up your butt.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "No. I just missed my wife.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Damn it! Jim got the bigger half.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "They're gonna bring you in for an interview. That's great. Right? Thanks, man. I shall come by at your convenience. Thank you, sir.", "c": ["Jim", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "Are you gonna kiss me? Yes.", "c": ["Erin", "Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Dwight Christmas"}, {"t": "I bit my lip at lunch today. Sucks. Anyway, I just don't see it. The Knicks are tough.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Morning, Meredith. What? Oh, sorry. Pam.", "c": ["Pam", "Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "how would I feel if I was at home, stuck with the kids while she was go-karting with John Stamos?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Jim lies about taking a taxi instead of a limo to his meeting", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Here's how you do it. You say, 'What are you gonna do, break up with me?' Like, as a joke. And then you gain a lot of weight.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "No wonder Jim left you.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Not always like an ape, the way Meredith just did, but it happens.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Between the foster homes and the orphanage, I had lice 22 times.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Holy wow, that's a big one.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "For 15 years, they called me 'freak' and 'four eyes' and 'sci-fi nerd' and 'girl puncher,' all because I had lice when I was seven.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "I use lice shampoo every morning.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "It's not one of your bean-bag orgies.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Nobody's taking Meredith Palmer to the opera to meet the queen.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "That stands for hazardous materials men's suit wearing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "If you rent more than four times a year, it just makes sense to buy.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "If you don't hear from me by lunch, call me. I might want lunch.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "The only thing that got me through mine was large amounts of Shepherd's pie and Brandy. The singer, not the drink.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "There's a pencil poking in my rolls.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "You know, I think these critters migrated from down south.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "follicle gypsies, hair lawyers", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Sha-boom! How do you like me now?", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "I'm the only one with the balls to show them lice who's boss.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "You look like a baby who suddenly aged 50 years. A cute baby, but something sucked the life force out of it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "I'll take a pack of Nicorette gum and a pack of Kools.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Let's talk pubes, people.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Oh, that was like a car crash. I couldn't look away.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "This won't help him. It's a muffin, not cake.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Jim making the shot followed by Pam's mayo disaster timing", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "No! No! No!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Stuck with the weirdo.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "You don't want bugs, you know? Who knows where those bugs will end up.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Eiffel tower.", "c": ["Erin", "Pete"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "The men dry up, and the nights get lonely. The only calls on your machine are from collection agencies about that pair of motorcycle boots you've never even worn.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "At your feet, a dying bird. But where did it come from? Why did you kill it? It is because, in some strange way, it is you?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "what would you say to you and me hitting the town? 'Cause I'm free, literally, forever.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "I was kind of feeling good about re-entering the dating pool, and then Kevin asked me out. Thought I might trade up to a new level of man. Then Kevin asked me out.", "c": ["Val"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Shave her head! Shave her head!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, princess fancy-pants letting Jane 12-pack over here take the fall!", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Sure, I gave everybody pink-eye once, and my ex keyed a few of their cars. And, yeah, I BMed in the Shredder on New Year's, but I didn't bring the lice in.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.9, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Well, the * effect that I don't think has kicked in yet. I'm gonna count down for ten. Nine... Yellow... Cold. Purple.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Wow. He got to purple.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "You're waterboarding me!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "You do kind of look like Elvis, but we should probably wash all the dead lice out.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "I wonder what happened over there. I've been sitting here the whole time.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "I got the bartender's phone number when you were in the john. I'm gonna take that freak to bone town before the night is over.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Lice"}, {"t": "Jim and Dwight Schrupert. I was the dynamic, likeable winner that was doted upon by Mom. Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "And Jim was the closeted foot fetishist pretending to belong.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "I hope you've been paying your wig storage bills, Jimbo, 'cause it's time for another episode of Handsome and Stinky, Paper Brothers for Hire.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Phyllis, my sister? More like my dead great-great-grandmother who died of stupidity.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.2, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Oh, do you really have ears, Phyllis? Like all human beings?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "You can make it in 30 minutes if you drive 240 miles per hour.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "A hundred and eighty. Um, that comes to 25 minutes. Yes. Oh, well, thank you, Jim. Yes, I am better than you.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.2, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Why didn't I think of this? Andy's not here.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "I haven't been trained for this.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "It was like making love with a wild animal. But not like a cougar, like you might think. It was like a swarm of bees.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Bees that just find something wrong with every hotel room.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Like my mom used to say, 'Talk classy. Act nasty.'", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "What? Is it on backwards?", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Always with the friends, Oscar. Can't we just enjoy the new espresso machine?", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Actually, it's pronounced espresso. Wait, that's what you said. I apologize. I just assumed you would mispronounce it, so...", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "If it will lead to me being a salesman, I'll pretend to be your friend.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "I don't really have time to think about Pete right now. I just have a lot going on with this whole shipment of pens.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.2, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Really! You can't be scared of a room full of Jims. I love the guy, but he's basically Gumby with hair.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "He calls me Clarky 'cause he's my dad.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "I mean, he's like a serial killer of animals. One time, he snuck up behind a sleeping deer and just sawed its head right off. It was sick. It was his birthday. Just turned three.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Yeah, we're aware of what it means, Oscar. You just do not look cool saying it.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Man, the last time I talked months was, like, a million weeks ago.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Jim, you've got a real Facebook energy going on here, man. You Zuckerberg'ed this place out.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Well, things between me and Clark are good, not great. In fact, I will say that they're not even good, really. They're bad. Like you and your son.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "I sure was, just like he taught me. Looking cool.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "If this company is going down, I want to go down on it. With it, I want to go down with it.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "I don't want to be a busybody, but I don't want to be a lazybones. Busybody, lazybones, busybody, lazybones. Ah! My brain is ping-ponging around in my head right now. It's insane!", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "One! Two! Three! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Stop it!", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Oh, his last girlfriend was a transvestite. I knew it right away. Adam's apple like the prow of a ship. Thumbs like a lowland gorilla.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Like the time that you got drunk and killed those kids on their way to prom. That never happened. He's always been a liar.", "c": ["Clark", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Ever since he was a little kid, and he got caught saving 'treats' from the kitty litter box. Following the cat around on his knees with his hands cupped beneath its tail, going, 'Please, kitty, may I have some more?'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "He's got cat turd collector written all over him.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Mandate. Always think of two men on a date.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "I have gay friends. One gay friend. Oscar.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Hey, I find it helps if you just picture everybody naked.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "When I say it out loud, I know that sounds insane, but it's the truth, I swear.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Pam! Pam! Look out! Erin's gunning for your job!", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Well, that's funny, 'cause I think of him as working part-time in Philadelphia.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "I think it would be like... You know what? I think it'd be like a Kevin Durant jump shot, perfecto.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "They're the ones who put a fish tank next to a basketball hoop.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "It's like, if I put a glass of milk on the edge of a table, and Cece knocks it over, I don't blame Cece. So, I'm like a three-year-old girl in this scenario?", "c": ["Pam", "Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Right? Thank you! It's just Philly. Everyone's acting like it's New York, or Paris, or London. Who needs it? Not us.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Yes! I love Philly! 215 or die! Come on, man!", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "It feels really hot in here. Is it hot in here? It feels really, really hot in here. It's insane! They need to turn the AC on year-round. January too!", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.2, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "I don't get the point of this stupid window!", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "That's why his face always breaks out. Does that suit come with a fire extinguisher?", "c": ["Clark", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.2, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Yeah, you don't want Italian. You'll look like a mafia don. Next thing you know, you'll be doing life at Riker's Island.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "That place doesn't exist. It's not a documented island. Cartograph much?", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Everyone, now that we have all this energy, why don't we move the copier into the annex like we've always wanted to?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "It's beautiful! Hardwood! I always knew it was down here. I just never dreamed that I would actually see it.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Killed their fish, and they still hired me! That's how you do that, baby!", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "Well, I can't stand here if you pull the carpet out from under me.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "I saw the leaves twitch.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.8, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "And you closed it. The boys are back in town!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "You got me! I used to collect them. Why? Each one is very different, like a snowflake.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "You left me in charge of the pens, Pam. That's what happened. The pens happened!", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "Suit Warehouse"}, {"t": "The Holy Grail. Did you send Dwight on a quest for the Holy Grail? I think I'm a little too busy these days to send... Oh, my God, I did send Dwight on a quest for the Holy Grail.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "The Dunder Code! I completely forgot about that prank. That had to be, like, six or seven years ago. Stayed late every night for a month. Had a lot more free time back then.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Dwight climbing into ceiling above accounting while Jim and others watch", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Man, I wish I was there to see his face when he gets to the end and finds the fake grail? No grail? You don't remember? I don't.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "What? That's a flush.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "There's nothing down here. Oh. I expected more from Young Halpert. This just... Forget it, forget it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Well, we created a fake profile for a really cool guy named Derek McBlack. Wow.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "It's just Pete in sunglasses. Oh.", "c": ["Erin", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "So far we're only popular with imaginary people, but we think this is the start of something big.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Well, all right. Pete and I work well together. Not that there's anything special about Pete. It could be any guy. Or girl. Not that I'm into girls. Not that I'm into Pete. Ah! What was the question?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Pam doing the 'Cece Spin and Kiss' dance move alone in talking head", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "'Athlead.' Please. They're too lazy to call it Athletes Lead?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Jim should just call it Stumpany for stupid company.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Well, take your worst fear and multiply it by infinity.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "You won't stop until you've poached us all. Yeah. Even you. No! I'll be damned if I'm going to let us lose me.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Potato? Oh, no. Kevin, it's not a joke.", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "I mean, who are they going to go with, some nobody like me, or a big name like Tracy Fleeb?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Yes, Jim, I think I know how to point a rectangle at something.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Yeah, see? You've still got to press end, Pam. Press end.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Alan Olifson from North Dakota. He also likes Hammermill and Georgia Pacific. Wow, that guy's really into paper. Yeah.", "c": ["Erin", "Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Awkward handshake/fist bump choreography failure between Pete and Erin", "c": ["Pete", "Erin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Andy has just started to be nice to me and now I've sent his girlfriend into the arms of a younger man! And I cc'ed him on every incriminating memo. 'Pete and Erin, don't hold back. Our social media presence should be hot, hot, hot. Go at it vigorously.' I did everything but unzip their pants for them.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Wait, this says 'Dunder Mifflin Loyalty Pledge.' This? Oh, what? Double mocha latte, please? You got it. Just sign your name below. Whatever you want.", "c": ["Stanley", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Customer loyalty. What is it? Can you hold it in your hand? Can you nudge it with your finger? Can you dump it on a woman? No! Why? Because it's an idea. But what does it mean?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Oh, it's when you get a free sandwich after you've already eaten 10 sandwiches. Not even close.", "c": ["Kevin", "Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "L... It. LoYa V Loyaw 'Loyalty' is exactly right!", "c": ["Darryl", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Let's all ask ourselves, have we been faithful in our relationships? Mmm. That's none of your damn business.", "c": ["Dwight", "Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "So is it all right for her to flirt with Creed, for example? Let's try it out. No, let's not say Creed. Let's say Mr. X.", "c": ["Dwight", "Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Can we just say Pete, 'cause that's the guy that Erin's flirting with?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Really? I'm sorry. Sorry.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "I got the mural! Oh, my God! Um, I'm sorry, I have to go. My daughter is a ladybug. I know that doesn't make any sense. Um, thank you, thank you!", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "You're very rude. Yes. Very rude. Kids are dancing!", "c": ["Other parents"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "So, should we go call Jim and go tell him to go screw himself?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "It can't be more fun than selling paper and paper products. It can. Are you pretending to be crazy?", "c": ["Dwight", "Darryl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Well, Andy's cute, but he's too vanilla. Whereas Pete, he's just one sick dude. I mean, you know this guy likes to get weird.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "With slamming bods like that? They ain't playing checkers.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "People, it's 2013. Erin is a strong, independent woman. Who says she has to end up with any man?", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Your feelings for Erin? Probably your heart. And a little bit your penis.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Most relationships eventually die on their own. But sometimes they just need a little pillow over the face.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Yes, we will be delivering a shipment of paper today, but I will also be delivering you a big shipment of fun!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Fun.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "I just remembered. I kissed that man.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "It's 30 degrees out, you're drinking a milkshake? Nope. Fire in the hole! Yeah!", "c": ["Darryl", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "You just threw a milkshake into a restaurant where they make minimum wage. It's a YouTube thing! Let's go, let's go! Come on. They're coming!", "c": ["Darryl", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "That. I'll watch it. Let's get this over with. All right, you don't have to... Let's get this over with, Pam.", "c": ["Meredith", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I took a phone call in the middle of taping and then when I went to turn it back on, I must have turned it off. User error. I've heard it happens to other people.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "I'm sure Pam is already kicking herself for choosing a phone call over her child.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Whenever I tell him good news, he's always like 'Beesly!' I love that. The only thing better than getting the job. 'Beesly!'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "This barely even feels like a prank anymore.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "They make you come back and clean it up.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "You never stop surprising me.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Did I just hear you laughing with glee? No. I was just clearing my throat.", "c": ["Creed", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Actually, funny story, I didn't get it. I shouldn't have been so cocky about my rectangle-holding skills after all.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Oh, great. So we'll see somebody else's kid with Cece in the background?", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "I mean, it's really not that hard to film a video.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Maybe you should have been there.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "What am I doing wrong, Brian?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Give her a minute. It's just a tough situation, all right? It's getting tougher.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Let's turn the cameras off. Seriously, guys? Enough. Enough.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "Fire in the hole! Go! Go! Go! I nailed that guy! I'm going to miss the paper business.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Customer Loyalty"}, {"t": "It was my first slipup in nine years of miking you.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "When are you gonna boom me?", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Ballers only. Must be this cool to ride.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Oh, did I? Oh, yes, I did.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "It's like, 'really, Jim? You don't understand the difference between a slaughterhouse and a rendering plant? Uh, remind me not to lend you any dead cows or horses.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I went above and beyond-- and under.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Guy goes fishing with hand grenades.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Trevor-- he'll make you laugh so hard, you'll puke your pants.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "You put in 12 grueling weeks at a company, and what do they do? They make you compete for a promotion, like an animal.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I thought this was an office, not the thunderdome.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "No longer a Pam-Jim alliance against Dwight. Now it is Dwight and a friend axis against Pam.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "You could've just called that an alliance too, right? I chose my words very carefully.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I've been working here 12 weeks. That's a full season of Homeland. A ton of things can happen in that amount of time, as we've seen.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Rolf Ahl? Sounds kinda like Roald Dahl. Go to hell.", "c": ["Rolf", "Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "When you're with the R-O-L-F you're literally rolling on the laughing floor.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Just try and rattle Rolf. I dare you. Such a sweet guy.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I hope you like Norwegian black metal, because I don't do earbuds. No earbuds!", "c": ["Rolf"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Well, a lot of that information is private. How do I know you're qualified to evaluate me? What are your credentials?", "c": ["Rolf", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I think I've heard everything I need to hear.", "c": ["Rolf"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "You say, 'jump,' and he says, 'on who?' He loves to jump on people, that Trevor.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Can I take a 20 on that? Maybe we can circle back around to it.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Pass. Next one. No, no, and no.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "There were only two options. Checkmate.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "This is a bus transfer. Nothing gets by this guy.", "c": ["Trevor", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I need you to breathe in my face right now.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "What are we working with, peppermint or wintergreen? I looked at you coming around, and I said, 'wintergreen.'", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I can't hire Clark. He looks like a Schrute, but he thinks like a Halpert and he acts like a Beesly.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "So I'd Kobayashi Maru it. I just Kobayashi Maru'd the whole process.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Star Trek rules. It does, but still no.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "They smell so bad. If I ever get that bad, you'd tell me, right? I tell you all the time.", "c": ["Pam", "Meredith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Walked right into that one.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Mose could make a great paper salesman. He's got a natural fear of paper, which would motivate him to get as much of it out of this office as possible.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "People person.", "c": ["Mose"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "You know we live together, right? And I've never seen you go to work, ever.", "c": ["Dwight", "Mose"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Everyone was in the shower. It's a cow shower, so there's, like a ton of people in there.", "c": ["Zeke"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I was his babysitter, and then we dated for a while. He was a passionate lover and the sweetest little baby.", "c": ["Woman candidate"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "You went to X-Men school too?", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I have a few powers. Night hearing. Dogs understand where I point.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Our training included picking carrots, scrubbing tubs, sewing imitation levi's. A lot of telemarketing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "We can't blame a weirdo for bringing in weirdos. We can blame a normal for creating a situation where a weirdo was allowed to bring in weirdos.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I'm in a position where I'm rooting for Nate, and that just feels wrong.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I have some pointy trees that I need to round off.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I'd love to invest. No, thanks. I'd like to give you $100 million.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "It's dense, like bread.", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Your friends are like Spiderman, if he had gotten bitten by a spider and then got really into masturbating.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Wolf is hilarious. He has executed me over 100 times at point-blank range. Half of 'em, we were on the same team.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Do you want this paper? I sure do. It's not very good. I will pay you whatever it takes.", "c": ["Wolf", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Trevor is great, but I saw no fire in him today. And this is a guy who loves to start fires.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Troy is literally one of a kind, and he's a goblin, or a hobbit, or a kobold, which is a type of gremlin.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I've been double-parked for five hours. No, you've been towed by now. They tow after about 45 minutes. Well, the joke's on them. I live right next to the tow yard.", "c": ["Candidate", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Can you imagine how insulting that would be? The contempt that a person like that would have to have for you.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Ahh, I love staring off in one direction. If I'm not looking south, I'm not livin'. That's what I always say.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "I knew it. You designed a uniform for Dunder Mifflin. Summer. Winter. Jungle. Formal.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "This is such bullcrap! So much crap. It's just a load of BC.", "c": ["Candidate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Do we get our resumes back or do you keep them? Because I only have the one, and I have a chili recipe on the back that I really wanna keep.", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "This is Jim Halpert's home address, in case you guys wanna toilet paper his house or whatever.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Don't open any suspicious packages you may receive. No, wait. Do open them. Totally safe.", "c": ["Wolf"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's that weird hour where it's too late to start a slow roast and too early for a Swanson's.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. You gotta be this cool for coffee.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "Welcome to the club, pig!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with. I mean, because of where my desk was, I spent all those years looking at Pam, and I fell in love.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "Junior Salesman"}, {"t": "ERIN: Yeah, Darryl's here. So's Santa Claus. It's just a regular Thursday.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Neither guy is here! And it's Friday! Welcome to me and Darryl's world of lies!", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "So now he has to sneak out of here like the sneakiest little sneaky-sneak you ever saw.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Darryl, meet Bear-yl.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "How much did you pay for that? Nothing. Won him at the carnival. Spent a ton on tickets, though.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "But Erin was so excited about being sneaky-sneaks, I went along with it.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I'm usually very self-critical. I hate what I paint, but I don't know, this time I feel like it's, um... It's really coming together. Oh, my God! (EXCLAIMS) You've got to be kidding me! What is... Are those... Are those butts?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Oh, cute! So there'll be a bunch of kids? No, no children. Our house is not kid-friendly. Most of our furniture is sharp. Also, ew.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Angela, I am prepared to donate a whopping $8 to Lipton For America to have an invitation...", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "You know, actually, none of you could even really make the cut for this thing. Which I am so sad about!", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "But as a politician in this town, you still need the conventional blonde wife on your lawn signs.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Just a couple of grown, sexy-ass roommates.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "It's just, he uses old T-shirts as washrags. He doesn't wash his dishes. Apparently they need to 'soak.'", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Yeah, I don't know everybody's name down here, but whoever did this, will you please raise your hand?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I will stay up here all day if I have to. Is that what you want?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Yeah, I will also come down if I want to. It's my choice.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I'm not like Angela, who calls a lawyer every time someone watches a YouTube video of animals doing it.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Already on it. I ordered them by their Google Trend rankings, so we know who to hit first. Who is this guy? (LAUGHS) We are killing it.", "c": ["Jim", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "You're telling me David Wallace asked you to call a super-secret, classified conference-room meeting? Yeah. Let's go, everyone! Super-secret, classified conference-room meeting! Now!", "c": ["Clark", "Pam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "They used worse paint than your paint? I don't think so. But they put paint where I didn't want paint. So... I thought you wanted paint on the whole thing. Different colored paint. I wanted different colored paint in the spots where they put their paint.", "c": ["Kevin", "Pam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "It's 6-7-8-2, not 8-3! Uh, 6-7-8-3 is also a good time. Less mileage.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I was politely saying nothing can be done. I thought I was clear.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "If there's anything I hate worse than art, it's crime.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I believe in you, I believe in your art, and I am bored.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I ended up with Dwight and Nellie. But they both have a mob mentality. And I'm pretty sure Dwight has a pitchfork in his car.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "You need my pitchfork? (SIGHS)", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "If I get the de-icing gig, it's going to be on merit, not because I played politics.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I am handing out pieces of paper on which you will draw one human butt. What I do with said drawings is no one's business but my own. Incorrect. It is my fetish. Oh, also, sign them. My fetish is signed drawings of butts.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "All right, then, no bottoms. Uh... We should ask you to do big rounded W's. Yes, or nippleless breasts, perhaps.", "c": ["Dwight", "Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Or melons, like cantaloupes, with, like, the halves are cut off and then just the bottom parts...", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Your mother is dying! See? I feel bad about that. Good. That's all right, that's all right. So she's going to pull through again?", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam", "Nate"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Gum's gotten mintier lately, have you noticed? Like, some of it is just too minty. It's like they're literally trying to hurt your mouth.", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "There's no gum. There never was any gum! That's really rude.", "c": ["Dwight", "Nate"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Opening with puff pastries? That's a bold play. They're saying, 'it's only going to get better from here.' Good luck.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "How can anyone that weighs less than a guinea hen be so terrifying?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Oh, man, that's a bummer. I'm sorry about that. No big deal, no big deal. No, if it's a big deal, it's a big deal. No,no,no. No big deal.", "c": ["Jim", "Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I don't know. Are you going to wash it, or you gonna let it soak?", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I didn't like your crappy doodles. I drew a butt. Big deal. Butts are funny. Well, I didn't think that butt was funny. Well, maybe if you got the stick out of yours...", "c": ["Frank", "Pam"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "The first 'sorry' sounded sincere. There were two or three sorrys in there. So it's a lot.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Normally, I find Pam to be a comforting if unarousing presence around the office, like a well-watered fern. But today, she has tapped into this vengeful, violent side, and I'm like, 'Wow, Pam has kind of a good butt!'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Go all Hammurabi on this clown.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "And if you ask me, it's time we bid bigotry hasta luego.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "His gardener, Rohelio, or he could have invited... Rohelio, but he chose me. Rohelio's Malaysian. That son of a bitch is Malaysian.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I think you might be going a little crazy with this labeling thing, man. I mean, you put your name on a five-pound bag of flour. Are you honestly saying that if I needed flour, I couldn't use that? What do you need flour for, Jim? That's not the point. What, you making bread? No, I'm not making bread. What bread you making? Pumpernickel?", "c": ["Jim", "Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "What happened to my Tavis Smileys? Oh, crap, were those yours?", "c": ["Darryl", "Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "But my only crime was loving the local sports teams and trying to be one of the guys! Silence! You will now be working in the warehouse with the untouchables.", "c": ["Clark", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "And why would I be asking that? So we know which truck to... Hey, while I got you on the phone, your husband is like a sloppy homeless hobo. Can you fix that?", "c": ["Darryl", "Pam (implied)"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "He put you right in front of me? Yes, he did. He put you right in front of me? Yes! Now, let's just wheel Margaret right in front here. Ow!", "c": ["Angela", "Oscar"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "And he's leaving a trail of poops? Yeah. And he has saggy boobs. Yeah, I saw that. That's great!", "c": ["Pam", "Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "I like hanging out with a vengeful bitch. I know. You miss Angela, don't you? (GROANS) Don't sympathize. You're ruining the mood. Back to work! Draw his penis!", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Kevin, great to see you. Yeah. Thank you for the food. Oh, and also, you suck. I beg your pardon? You're, like, a terrible person. These guys care about you, and you're just using them.", "c": ["Kevin", "Robert"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Oh! Come on! Oh! Oh! Damn! 'You Win!'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Vandalism"}, {"t": "Or it's like me getting on my hands and knees and begging my partners to switch a Tuesday for a Thursday. Alakazam.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "And poof, he disappears.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Bam, Andy! How do ya like me now?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "You know, when I was a kid we had a dog who got real sick, and we had to send him to a farm. And on his last day, we did everything he loved.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Rink-a-dit doo, rika-doot-deet doo, rika-deet-doo.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "I really like Andy these days. He's pretend, and he does exactly as I tell him to.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Unless he comes back as pretend Dwight. In which case, we're in for an epic, confusing showdown.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "So, I guess it's good-bye, chunky lemon milk.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Yeah, let's get some booze and some cocaine and just blow it out, no consequences.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Or the mini-mall.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "But I mean, if you don't have one of those, you can probably just bring whoever it is you use to kill your loneliness.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Phyll, I'll pretend to be your husband. I'm already sick of you, so it'll seem realistic.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "They use a watch repair kit.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "No. Yes. Yes. Why wouldn't I?", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "I wanna pretend to be gay. I got no problem with that.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Stop talking about it. I said I'm fine with it.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, that's less romantic.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Your boyfriend. He look like a pretty girl.", "c": ["Nail Salon Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "And you know what? I think you are developing. We should go and get you a training bra.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "She's living a lie.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Turns out I can't even be in a pretend relationship.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Oh, it works. Him and me, all right, we are crazy in love. More in love than your small mind can comprehend.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "And we have two disposable incomes and no kids, and we're taking our business elsewhere.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "We're splitting up.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "You're back. And you're disgusting.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "I guess I can cancel my order from zappos.com because, oh, the loafers have arrived.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "I am really, really bad at breakups. Technically, I'm still dating my first-grade boyfriend.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "I mean, we just had our 20th anniversary. And I forgot to get him something.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "It's called bembe. \u266a Yoruba yoruba aruba yoruba yoruba yoruba aruba raruba \u266a", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Hey, burning man, if it's not selling out too much, you might wanna throw on a tie.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "It's in every bembe cafe.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "At least my crying won't get you fired.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Just say the word 'coolio.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "that was not... how I had hoped that would go.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Two seconds of the turd dog, and he loses the biggest sale this branch has ever seen.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "All out. I mean like everything was out the whole week.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "He just waltzes back in here like he owns the chunky lemon milk.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "I'd like to rat out Andy, but unfortunately I have a bit of a 'boy who cried wolf' dynamic with David Wallace. Except instead of a boy I'm a man, and instead of a wolf, I cried, 'genetically-engineered monster wolf.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Meredith Palmer ain't never been called no narc. Floozy? Yes. Alkie? Check. Einstein sarcastically? You bet. But never no narc.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Vomit mop? Sure. Floor meat? That's me. Flesh hoover? Hi.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "\u266a Who's that girl? \u266a It's Andy.", "c": ["Andy", "Oscar"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Lit the whole thing on fire. It was crazy. The whole thing is in ashes. Fire department was here. It was in all the papers.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "And, uh, Kathy Ireland signed on as the official spokesbabe of Dunder Mifflin.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Yeah, in the European billboards, she's gonna be topless.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "I am speaking metaphorically, of course. You know I have lots of irons in the 'fire.' Well, that's one of 'em, you know. Making sure that the warehouse logistics is a well-oiled, properly-stoked fire.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Really playing the scales, huh?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "I mean, my parents lasted 30, 40 years. They were never happy at the same time.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "I know you may not be feeling love for me right now, but if you fake it, I won't be able to tell the difference. So I'll feel good.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "All right, put your dukes up, Beesly.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "What was that about three months?", "c": ["David Wallace"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "Couples Discount"}, {"t": "Andy's elaborate defense of his lies about being in the office while sailing, claiming Oscar says hi 'all the time' in multiple languages", "c": ["Andy", "David Wallace"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy lamenting missing his beard like 'a security blanket' after his breakup", "c": ["Andy", "David Wallace"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy's butchered Bon Jovi reference: 'That's a poem by J.B. Jovi'", "c": ["Andy", "David Wallace"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy's confessional: 'Vanilla Ice. He was a band.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy breaks down crying mid-greeting to camera", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy's talking head becomes increasingly emotional with multiple takes", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'He sounds like a wounded animal. Should have put him out of his misery and just fired him.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'I can't be around sad people. It makes me sad. I'm the same way with horny people.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Erin: 'I mean, I saw Pete's butt. It's sick.'", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Pam: 'It's with a real estate company, which is a great fit for me, because I live in a house and I know what a bathroom is.'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Pam: 'my resume can fit on a post-it note'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Dwight's dramatic entrance interrupting Angela with 'I need you'", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Dwight's aunt Shirley description: 'her hair, her clothes, it's all falling off in great, big clumps'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'We had a nurse, but she quit, because she was \"poisoned\" by aunt Shirley.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Dwight: 'Or lemonade and strychnine, which is actually what it was.'", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Dwight's description of aunt Shirley's 'prehensile wing' body part", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Clark: 'Not on a three-month boat trip. Oh, burn.'", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy and Jim's passive-aggressive sweater exchange", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy coining nicknames: 'Nard Dog, Plop, and Clarker Posey, A.K.A. Clarkwork Orange'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Clark's sad bachelor confession: 'Last night I ordered a pizza by myself, and I ate it over the sink like a rat.'", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Aunt Shirley: 'Who's this little kitchen witch? She's so tiny, like a little kitchen witch.'", "c": ["Aunt Shirley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Aunt Shirley: 'How would you like a mean, cold slap?' followed by actually slapping Angela", "c": ["Aunt Shirley", "Angela"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy gathering the men: 'Darryl, Clark, Kevin, Toby, plop, take a knee.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Pete's realization: 'It just occurred to me that Andy has been calling me plop for so long he forgot my real name. Which is Pete.'", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Jim's bluetooth headset: 'I know where you're going with this, and this is who I am now. I'm a douche.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy's chlamydia lie: 'I just got off the phone with my doctor, and turns out I contracted ch-lamydia from Erin. And it's incurable.'", "c": ["Andy", "Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy's improvised firing song: '\u266a So you had a bad day / \u266a You're a big idiot, get out of my office \u266a'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy reading relationship contract: 'Every phrase is like a dagger in my crotch.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Mark's Django reference: 'I'm the horrible boss around here, but please don't hire Jamie Foxx to kill me.'", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Mark's uncomfortable racism comment: 'I don't agree with the use of the n-word in that movie. It's too soon.'", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Mark's forced office enthusiasm: 'They call me Marky Mark around here, because here at Simon realty we are one funky bunch.'", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Pam's realization: 'Oh, my God. He's Michael Scott.'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Angela taking charge of Aunt Shirley care: 'I'm gonna give your aunt a proper bath and a haircut like a lady.'", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Nellie's Scranton Strangler advice: 'Do something about it. Get it out of your system, whatever it takes.'", "c": ["Nellie", "Toby"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Mark's failed 'chillax' command and Roger's defiant response", "c": ["Mark", "Roger"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Mark's accent attempts: '[Brooklyn accent] cawfee talk' and 'Like buttah'", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy's Juliet comparison: 'I feel like the guy Juliet dated before Romeo. Probably her boss.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Kevin's booger observation and Andy's response: 'My whole life is a booger bubble.'", "c": ["Kevin", "Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Mark reading Pam's upside-down resume and his gibberish reaction", "c": ["Mark", "Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Mark's existential crisis: 'I mean, they worship me, you know, but do they like me?'", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Mark's Bob Dylan impression during job interview", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Andy's crude translation: 'the ol' one-two punch to my scrotum pole, translation--penis, translation--my manhood'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Mark's pregnancy policy: 'The last three girls here all got pregnant... It's a different chair.'", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Mark's receptionist explanation: 'Like a receptionist, but we call you the office manager, because it's less demeaning.'", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Pam's final decision: 'I spent ten years as a receptionist to Michael Scott. And I have kids now. And I just-- I can't.'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Toby's Bogart impression: '[As Bogart] I think this is the start of my first friendship.'", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Gabe's weight description: 'Feel how fat my buttocks are... It's like a warm pumpkin.'", "c": ["Gabe", "Alice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Toby's strangling aftermath and Nellie's commentary about 'the proud neck of justice'", "c": ["Toby", "Nellie"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Aunt Shirley's scarecrow wisdom: 'That's what Mose said about his lady scarecrow, and look what he did to that poor thing.'", "c": ["Aunt Shirley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Jim's consolation champagne: 'It's from the part of France that immediately gave up to the Nazis.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Dwight's life proposal: 'The 80 or 90 years that I have left of this life... I want to spend with you.'", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Gabe's button-down confession: 'I still wear Erin's button-downs around the condo sometimes, so it feels to me like we're still in a relationship'", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Gabe's love confession story: 'She'd plug her ears and scream her heart out.'", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Gabe's KKK music question: 'So you like songs of hate written by the white knights of ku klux klan?'", "c": ["Gabe", "Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Gabe's smooth porpoise line: 'I am as smooth as a porpoise for you.'", "c": ["Gabe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Jim's Odd Life of Timothy Green poster detail and Pam's reaction", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Clark's workout philosophy: 'My trainer said, \"everybody fails working out.\" That's how you win.'", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Clark stuck upside-down asking for help while everyone ignores him", "c": ["Clark", "Kevin", "Others"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Moving On"}, {"t": "Dwight, what a ridiculous, fancy clown you are.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "I would say that she raised me, but let's not kid each other. I raised myself. She was, however, the closest thing I had to a mother. My actual mother was very cold and distant. I'd say she was the closest thing I had to an aunt.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Keep them!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "In keeping with Schrute custom, I will either invite you to Saturday's funeral by sprinkling red, fertile dirt in your face, or I will ask you to keep a respectful distance during my time of grief, with a dusting of black, slightly acidic soil.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Yep. Acidic all right.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Oh, thank God.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "We're not even that close. I've only known Dwight 12 years. 12 years. Time is a son of a bitch.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "You can't make a dirtball-- I miss her so much. Okay.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Get in the sidecar. Get in the sidecar. Get in the sidecar. You get in the sidecar.", "c": ["Dwight", "Mose", "Zeke"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "It's a rental.", "c": ["Jeb"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Hey, moonface. Nice to see those shiny little Chinese eyes of yours.", "c": ["Unknown Schrute relative"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "My name is Todd Packer, and I am in recovery. I'm working the steps. I'm on step eight of Alcoholics Anonymous, step nine of Narcotics Anonymous.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Pam, I'm sorry I objectified you and personified your breasts.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Actually, that goes to all you double XLs. Stanley, Kevin... this kid in a few years.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "I went out to the Steamtown mall, and I got you all cupcakes from that place Nipples. Think it's called Nibbles. Ha. The mind sees what it wants to, huh?", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "It's crap soil. Nothing's gonna grow here. It doesn't matter. It's a cemetery. Yeah, well, I'm saying it's garbage soil, that's all. Well, the only thing we're planting here is dead bodies. That's fine, 'cause they're not gonna grow. Well, thank God they're not, because we don't wanna make zombies.", "c": ["Jeb", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "You had black hair and then gray hair. You were the aunt to my cousins. Most of your life, you were 5'4\". At the end, you were 5'1\".", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "They're a descriptive people.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "She's beautiful. Blech.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Well, if you can snap two chicken necks with a single motion, why use two motions to slaughter those chickens? We're at a funeral. There's a funeral going on here.", "c": ["Esther", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Shirley, at 1,600 acres, you have the largest farm in the area, sharing borders with six other farms including my own farm and your nephew Dwight's. Okay.", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "But there was an unlucky streak of burying some heavy sleepers. And when grave robbers discovered some scratch marks on the inside of some of the coffins, we decided to make sure that our dead were completely dead... out of kindness.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "I never forget a number. Names, in one ear and out the other. Places, nope. Faces, that's rich. But numbers... I have a gift. I guess that's why I'm an accountant.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry for calling you a fat little runt earlier. You didn't actually say that. No? No. Wow! I'm in this mode now where I'm apologizing for thoughts that are in my head.", "c": ["Todd Packer", "Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Packer can go to hell.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "After I left the army, I bought a nine-acre worm farm from a Californian. Turns out, 'worm' means something else out there, and I am now in the business of... pain management. Or the smoking of pain management.", "c": ["Jeb"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "He used to talk about growing a peanut-grape hybrid. One plant, one sandwich.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "A Willing Ignorance by Fanny Schrute. The people here are like... like a fart. You know what I'm saying? Like a fart.", "c": ["Fanny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Growing up with Dwight and Mose was not easy. Uh, Dwight was obviously the cool one, and Mose was the visionary, which left me to be the comedian.", "c": ["Jeb"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "People underestimate the power of nostalgia. If baseball can use it to get people to care about that worthless sport, then I can use it to get my siblings to care about the farm. Nostalgia is truly one of the great human weaknesses. Second only to the neck.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "So I forgot about this old custom. If a man is interested in courting a woman, he may throw the beaks of a crow... at her. And then if she's interested in accepting the courtship, she has to destroy the beaks.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "I am going through a 12-step program. I'm currently on step zero... which is have a shitload of fun. I spent six hours carefully removing the frosting and then layering in a variety of drugs, some legal, some not... some laxative, some constipating.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "I forgive him so much.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Are we gonna eat these today? If you want. Is that a guillotine? This? No. That'd be cool though. It's for milking. That's a cow? Did you just ask me if this was a cow?", "c": ["Jim", "Esther"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Gimme those teats. Didn't your father teach you anything? I never met him.", "c": ["Esther", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Last night, I got out all of my old dolls and played with them on the living room floor. Then I ordered ten American Girl outfits on line. It was thousands of dollars.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "I went Christmas caroling... in March, and I fertilized some bushes along the way. So not my best night. But not my worst night.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Yeah, I didn't see you last night at all. Nope, I did not see you either.", "c": ["Andy", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "Ooh, this is no nine-acre worm farm. This is a beast. Whoever's managing this thing is gonna have a hell of a job. Not it. Not it. It.", "c": ["Fanny", "Jeb", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "The Farm"}, {"t": "It's porn. Yeah.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Be careful. I pulled my mom's dog off a pillow once, and I got bit.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Just ignore her. Sooner or later, she'll finish.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Oh, Meredith! Good lord.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Turns out she's allowed to have feelings of sexual arousal. Doesn't become a violation till she physically acts on it.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Well, there you go. That's muy caliente.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "It's okay, guys. She's no longer horny.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Long-term tractor leases can put pressure on a relationship.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "God, a lot of my buddies are going through the same thing right now. Something in the air.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Cece has been calling me Pamela. Like, four times this week.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "What's going on? Did Gangnam Style put out a new song?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "You go to the bathroom for 45 minutes, and everything changes.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Oh! I always thought we were, like, specimens in a human zoo.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "You fell in love with that hair? Really?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "I must have really connected with this guy. I mean, that's a guy's name, right? Chobblegobbler?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Nice to meet you. Eat fresh.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "I bet she'll eat 'em right out of your hand with those big, strong teeth.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "I think they're from the forest where we harvest our paper.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "I guess men find Esther attractive. I mean, if there are chubby chasers, then there are men that like that thing.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "It's called playing the subtext.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "'Cool guy'? 'Dumpster man.' Cool. Superhero.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "'3:00 p.m. girl.' What? Why would they... Wait a second. Wait a second.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Yes, Erin. They film us at night when we're sleeping 'cause that makes great TV.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "I sneezed into my hands without using Purell and then dipped into the candy jar.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "My first week here, I sneezed directly into the candy jar because I thought I'd get more screen time as a villain.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Mr. Brueger, are you trying to take advantage of me because I'm interested in your daughter?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Something about the wiring.", "c": ["Andy's Mom"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "He's not hawt. He's gay.", "c": ["Anonymous Commenter"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Dear JasonJasonJason, it's me, Andy. Nice name. Not!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "He is butt.", "c": ["Anonymous Commenter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "These chicks are way too hot to be into us.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "No woman would ever want a man who doesn't know what an auger is.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "He was dressed like Ronald Reagan! Well, he kissed like Jack Kennedy.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Pretty much everything.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "A bunch of hot women go, 'Oh, yeah!'", "c": ["Ryan Howard (Baseball)"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "A Scranton nine, but, yeah, point taken.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Maybe we're the kind of guys who end up with a tractor that's already been rode hard and put away muddy.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "That shady grove out by Willard's Pond.", "c": ["Esther"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Post hole digging.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Yes, and I cheated on you with Dwight.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "Hey, TexasPoonTappa and JasonJasonJason and all the rest of you haters out there, check this out.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "I hope you got sound on everything. I'd love a DVD of that.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "Promos"}, {"t": "What the hell? No, this is not happening. / Didn't you get the memo? It's Stairmageddon.", "c": ["Stanley", "Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "for a day that hopefully comes once in 100 years", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "It's a 'mageddon!' Come on! Come on, Stanley. Stay in it!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I put 17 damn years into this company, and now they're making me climb stair mountain!", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Our office has an unusually large number of unusually large people", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "we have to compare it to the end of time", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Red alert! Red alert! The reviews are in! I repeat, the reviews are in.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I just got the text and started screaming, 'Red alert.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Well, the alert was already set to 'red' because of Stairmageddon. You think I should set it to 'double red'?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Dwight Schrute, the head salesman forever chasing a manager position he will never get", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "What does Josh McAuliffe know about the paper business? He works for a news... thing.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "whose incompetence is emblematic of a declining American economy", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Ouch. Sorry, Andy, that's-- / It's okay. The hell does he know?", "c": ["Pam", "Andy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I wanted to be my generation's Lisa Loeb", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I bet it's Katie Couric. I've been saying this for years.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Who do I look like, Jackie Joyner-Kersee?", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "You are not my damn boss and you never will be!", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Pete, iced tea. Three sugars, five creams. Your morning 3x5.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Embassy suites. 'Do not disturb' sign on the door. Mommy and daddy are on the floor.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Did you know that is the only kind of counseling I have never had?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Let's do it. Let's get personal.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Uh, we're just starting couples counseling. Uh, which doesn't sound any better.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Kelly called it. 2013.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Hello, William Morris Agency. I need to speak with your best agent who represents your biggest stars.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "A beloved public servant and his devoted wife. And move on.", "c": ["Senator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Correction. Best darn wife. Sorry. I'm a better wife than that.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "This promo with me playing banjo has 250 views already. And every time I click, there's more. 251. 252. I can't even keep up!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "So what I'm hearing you say is, 'Make Stanley go out on the sales call by whatever means possible'?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "For five years I've held my instincts in check because I wanted to be made manager. Maybe it's time for me to just let that thought go.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Don't worry, it's just a bull tranquilizer. Nothing to be alarmed about.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "It's just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at a coworker.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "For a threat to be credible, you ha-- Holy shit. No, you didn't.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "It's all right. Andy approved it.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Man, he's really in Twinkle Town now.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "weren't those darts intended for an animal, like, two to three times larger than him? / this dosage was meant for a very small bull, and Stanley's got way more body fat than they do.", "c": ["Pete", "Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "He's like a manatee.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "No wonder my elevator cables are under such strain.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I've never actually done this before. / Well, if I may, you're a natural. / I mean, I've rehearsed it in my head, like, 1,000 times, but, uh... / That's a little weird.", "c": ["Dwight", "Pete"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I know. Evel Knievel.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I need you to go down to the bottom and catch him. / I can't catch him, he's, like, 250 pounds. / You use your hands and just blunt his descent, okay?", "c": ["Dwight", "Pete"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "He would have put a hole in your chest same as he put a hole in that wall.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "He took this job in Philly without telling me. He bought our house without telling me. / If I didn't do certain things without telling Pam, she'd be married to Roy...", "c": ["Pam", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm happy Angela's the first one getting famous, but... it's a little weird, no? I mean, she can't sing or act, so it's actually kind of insane, if you think about it.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Yeah, we get it, Phyllis, she looks like a freakin' movie star!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I am gay.", "c": ["Senator"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Senator, were you always gay, or did your wife turn you gay?", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "yo soy homosexual", "c": ["Senator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "how charmless I find the female body", "c": ["Senator"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Oscar is with the senator too? / Yes! And I knew it the whole time.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I kept the secret. I kept the secret so good. You didn't know, you didn't know, and you didn't freaking know. But I knew!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Actor? / Oh, no. / Well, I have an act. Dog, cat, mouse.", "c": ["Carla", "Andy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Does anything go on top of the mouse? / Yeah. / Little hat. Yeah. / Aw, that's cute. / What's the mouse's name? / Eh, you know, it really doesn't make sense to name the mice. They're kind of like cannon fodder, you know?", "c": ["Carla", "Andy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "You're not one of those PETA guys, are you?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Just say 'arms' and 'legs,' okay? That just-- that's the vernacular that I'm comfortable with.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "We are going to go discuss paper contracts for city of Lackawanna public schools, okay? / Pigeons.", "c": ["Dwight", "Stanley"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "You, my friend, are going to have to be Stanley Hudson.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Isn't the client, like, best friends with his sister?", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Stanley, what is going on here? / He's fine. / He gets carsick really easily. / Driving.", "c": ["Mrs. Davis", "Dwight", "Stanley"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Ooh-hoo, look at that baby... / That's Benji in the middle. / That's Benji. Oh, he's precious. / That's a healthy-looking baby. Very special little boy. Look at him. I've never seen such a beautiful child.", "c": ["Stanley", "Mrs. Davis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "I just managed to get our most stubborn salesman to close a sale with one of our biggest clients, and I must say it's the most pleasant I've ever seen Stanley. I think we should consider injecting him with bull tranquilizer on a daily basis.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "My exact age is 28 to 34, so basically just send me out on whatever Jake Gyllenhaal's going out on.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Would you dress up as, say, a birthday clown and go to a kid's party, let them throw pies at ya?", "c": ["Carla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Whereas that is not why I have entered show business, I do understand that you have to build credibility.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Most talent agents take 10% of whatever jobs they get you, but with Carla you pay a flat rate of $5,000 up front. / Uh, it doesn't include headshots. / It doesn't include headshots. / No. / Well, of course not, because that would be insane if it did.", "c": ["Andy", "Carla"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "You earned yourself a nice, fat commission and you didn't even know it. / I'll go tell Andy the good news. / Oh. / Silly me. Gotta take the stairs. / Oh, no, I'm not doing that again. You got me down, you gotta get me back up.", "c": ["Dwight", "Stanley"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "We need a winch and a hoist.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Stairmageddon"}, {"t": "Quarter finals in an hour, hope you got some sleep, because I'm going to be haunting your nightmares tonight.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "It's not so easy on the environment, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Others seemed not to comprehend what a paper airplane is.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I didn't see you! You should have yelling 'crossing!'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "We are now down to an elite eight. Well, seven, and Toby.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Last week I got an agent, and uh, this week I got a movie.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "It's going to be seen by tons of workers in the industrial chemical community, one of whom could have a cousin whose brother is Brad Pitt, and then boom!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Next thing you know, I'm in Moneyballs 2.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I'm so freaked out by things going into eyes. It just... Wow.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "And remember, do not attempt to extinguish a chemical fire with water. It will only exacerbate the flame. The dangerous flame.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Let's do it six more times.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "So, we had couples therapy. No shame in that. Get it all out in the open.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Oh, we're supposed to call everything we don't want to do 'opportunities.'", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Oh, and, Oscar, I already figured out if I have to get emotional in the film, I'm just gonna think about you getting dumped by the Senator.", "c": ["Andy", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "It's a little raw. Not cool, Oscar.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Not one of us remembers you saying anything about $2,000. I forgot. I completely forgot.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "But my new studio apartment is just fine for me and Phillip and Tinkie and Crinklepuss and Bandit Two and Pawlick Baggins and Lady Aragorn and their 10 kittens.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I'd be one of those gold-digging tramps you read about that try to bag a farmer.", "c": ["Nellie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Let's be honest, when it came to manured fields, Angela was, at best, indifferent.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I once ripped Greedy Susan's pigtail right off her head just for a handful of Crispix.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "That's the clicky-clacker. He clicks that, and then the guy says, 'Action.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "We just need a picture of the top of your head in case we burn some of your hair off.", "c": ["Film crew"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Kevin, did you make that yourself? Yes. In a way. From one that I bought on Craigslist.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I can't. I love them all too much. And none of them fly. So that makes it harder.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Like Wilbur and Orville Redenbacher.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "But, to speak my truth, it wasn't out of the way, because I felt like a tea anyway, so one trip.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I just made a character choice to be a scientist who really likes what he does and enjoys his job.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "It's Tom Brokaw, the newscaster. Come on.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Yeah! Oh, eat it, piggy! Eat it! Oink, oink, oink.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "So, there might just be a little bit of feather in your nuggets or just a little bit of meat inside of your pillow.", "c": ["Esther"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I'm not comfortable doing my own stunts.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I'll get nude if you want me to. I'll go full Lena Dunham, but I...", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Carla!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Andy, if you don't stick your eyes in that machine, I'm gonna call every production in Northeastern Pennsylvania. You won't even make an appearance on a security camera!", "c": ["Carla"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Andy Bernard can't squirt water in his eye and act like it doesn't freak him out. But you know who can? Older Male Lab Assistant Number One.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I was gonna buy you a sweater. So this is stupid.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I acknowledge with gratitude that you are being kind and responsible enough to include it in your calendar.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Are you guys high? Because, if so, to speak my truth, I would appreciate the sacrifice of including me in some hits off your kind buds.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "We want you to win. Dwight told me about your situation. It's such a pity. Just use the money wisely.", "c": ["Esther"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I know a guy who can turn that into $800. Hint, it's me.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "I don't need pity, and I don't need charity. I have my dignity, and that's enough. And as long as I have that, I'll be okay.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "Love suffers long and is kind. It is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "Paper Airplane"}, {"t": "We've had some really nice days together. Mmm-hmm. Nice morning, too. Beesly. Oh, my God.", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Which tie makes me look like a guy who likes sofas?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Thin-sliced Tuna. Carpaccio. Go on.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Half the time, I don't know if I'm wearing my stage makeup or my work makeup.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "The county took my cats. Wait, all of them? Two sacks' worth.", "c": ["Angela", "Jim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "I've never met anyone like that.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Angela, you still have your son. I guess.", "c": ["Jim", "Angela"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Basher, thrasher, crasher and... Smasher. 'Smasher'? No. Where'd you get that? Fireball!", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Sensei Billy says most students don't spend $150,000 over 20 years to get their black belt.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Is Andy in? Sorry, I thought you said, 'Is Indian?' And I was like, 'Is Indian what?' Is Indian food good? Is Indian jewelry pretty? Is Indian hair an expensive kind of wig? Yes to all three, by the way.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "David Walrus in his native habitat.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "And yesterday, he asked me to pay for cheek implants. Claimed it's going to boost office morale.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "At my last headshot sitting, I was so distracted wondering what I was missing at work that I came across totally manic. And I was going for zany.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "I see no reason to limit myself to just acting. I am pursuing fame of any kind.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "I think just about anybody can be a star. My postman, the night janitor here... But Andy? No, definitely not. Charisma black hole.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Well, I'm here to sell paper. Burn.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "It is very easy to get lost in Pete's beautiful, dead eyes.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "I wasn't fired. What are you talking about? I'm fired up. Yes.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Andy sings beautifully, and he's really good at dancing. He's a good speaker. But there's just something there you don't want to look at.", "c": ["Phyllis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "You don't watch baseball. I keep forgetting that.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "You're meant for a job with lots and lots of slack.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "The male is a funny species. We don't just tell each other how we feel. That's chick stuff. So instead of saying, 'Hey, Andy, I love you, man. I don't want you to leave,' you say something like, 'Hey, Andy, you're making the worst mistake of your life. You're not talented.'", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "You know who's really funny? This bird in the park that can't fly right. I'd pay to see him. But I don't have to, 'cause the park is free.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Take my belt, Master. I now submit to you every part of myself. That's really okay. I'm mostly focused on the belt here.", "c": ["Dwight", "Billy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "I can't do this if you're gonna be thrusting like that, okay?", "c": ["Billy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "He would strap me to his chest in a Baby Bjorn made for fat children and do lunges across the farm.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "I felt like I was flying.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "You can just call me Billy. And no. No, but Dwight insisted. He wanted to receive his black belt in the place he loves most in the world.", "c": ["Billy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Irritating? Also yes. But I've got to hand it to him, he is one of the most tenacious and determined men I've ever met.", "c": ["Billy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "I am so proud of you, Schruberry blue.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Dude, there is no way that Jim is just back here to 'hang out with Pam.' He wants the manager's chair. And I thought you wanted that job.", "c": ["Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Hey, if there's someone who loves paper more than Dwight, I definitely don't want to meet that person.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Our question is... it seems dumb.", "c": ["Oscar", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "But what if you were to stay here, you know, and 'full-ass' it?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "You're too character-y to be a lead, and you're not fat enough to be a great character actor.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "But he also can't make it as an employee in an office, so, you know, why not go nuts with it?", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "If you want to get rid of a headache, you sit on something sharp. Any sensei will tell you that.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "I was an obese child. I never talk about that here, but Nard-Dog's outta here, so lettin' it all hang out.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Dear God, don't quit your dayjob.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Alexander the Great, if he were Cockney.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "We lay together. That's something you can't take back.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Andy, honestly, I think you might become homeless or maybe even starve.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "I mean, I was interim manager once, but then I shot that gun.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Why do you already have this? In case Michael or Andy ever got killed in a traffic accident and there was a trade show on the same day.", "c": ["David", "Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.58, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller. It's a great play about crushed dreams. No, this one was written by SpongeBob SquarePants.", "c": ["Oscar", "Andy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "And here, I've been stapling the same way for 20 years like a frickin' sheep.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "What?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Dwight Schrute is manager! Yeah!", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Creed Bratton is the new manager!", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "You're an annex kid. You might be bullpen. We'll see. Give it a couple years. Scram.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Way to negotiate, idiot.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "When Cort\u00e9s landed in Mexico, only way he got his men to defeat the Aztecs was by burning all of his own boats so they could never return home. Huge dick move, but very effective.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "So I need you to go into my file and put down that I was fired for theft and/or groping wieners.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Okay, all right. Groped you good. Off to Hollywood!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "You have so many hairs on your chin, Animal Control should've taken you away. That is very unladylike. You are disgusting!", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "What if I took a dump on your new car?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "What we had was great, and, honestly, I think about it a lot, too. Ugh. But I just... It's in the past. No, that's not... ...rehash... No, none... No, stop. It's just... Exactly. Okay.", "c": ["Andy", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "You are not going to live in a tent. Come stay with me. You don't want me at your place. I do. Yes.", "c": ["Oscar", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Angela, you just were... I love him. I know. I understand more than most, but we both have to move on. You can't... No, not the Senator. I love Dwight.", "c": ["Oscar", "Angela"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Livin The Dream"}, {"t": "Now they're protecting America's real treasure, papefl", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Something that's been really missing from my life has been writing secret codes. It's not the KGB, but it's a start.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "But that's three wrongs, so I've got to give you the steam. No. Unless you want me to break protocol.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "It's just harmless steam to panic intruders. I'd like to get harmful steam, but the prices are absurd.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Oh, I'm saving a fortune on dry-cleaning.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Ironic that now it's Angela who's living in the closet. Hey-o!", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Saddle shoes with denim? I will, literally, call Child Protective Services.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "It was made from a bullet I took out of her left buttock. She was a moonshiner shot by Adolph Coors. This is my grandmother's buttock bullet ring.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "On this show all three judges are mean!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "much like Germany and Italy, in World War... Nope. Good call.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Pre-conference room meeting with Dwight went really well. Oh! Bodes well for the post-conference room meeting. All depends on the conference room meeting itself.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Some say, the only failure there is, is the failure to try. That is wrong. Failure of any kind is failure.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Michael J. Fax, from Fax to the Future!", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Nice jugs! That's obviously nonsense.", "c": ["Creed", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "I've been on my best behavior for nine years. If it wasn't for the cameras I would've done some truly vulgar crap.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Over the course of this documentary, I've had three affairs. If you find my body in a ditch, let me save the police some trouble. My wife did it.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Some of us whose televisions got broken during an all-you-can-eat-shrimp commercial will be watching tonight at Poor Richard's.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "When this thing started, I was still having sex with women. As was Kevin, I believe.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Can you imagine if Martin Luther King were here and sang I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miz? With that baritone? That would be historic.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Do you want to see a video of a weatherman who says 'bold front' instead of 'cold front'? It's insane!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "I hate Phillip.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "My God. I'm so sorry. Well, this might make up for it. I think I have found an enormous source of overlooked PFN.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Potential Future Nonsense. Yes. Good abbreviating, Jim. That saved some time.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "What did you have in mind? Well, I know this sounds crazy, but how would King Arthur choose the next knight of his Round Table? That doesn't sound crazy, Jim. That's the sanest thing I've ever heard.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "A cappella is all about pitch, and I am nothing if not a total pitch-bitch.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Pour some Sugar Ray on me! On a roll much? I don't know where that came from. That was amazing, man.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "'Plop'? Still? We owe Andy that much. Yeah. Absolutely we do.", "c": ["Pete", "Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "You'll always have the upper hand when you've got a good AARM. Trademark pending.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "By 2:00, Dwight will choose himself to be assistant to his own assistant, me.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "I pulled the old Irish exit. Just slipped out without making a big deal. No hard feelings. No feelings at all.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Nine-hundred-eighty-five trillion seventeen. Not even close, Meredith. Come on!", "c": ["Dwight", "Meredith"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "It was the theme song to Boy Meets World. Wait! No, no, no, stop. Spouses can read each other's minds. You're trying to give your wife this job.", "c": ["Dwight", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "What's the opposite of a horse? A sea horse. A sea horse! Whoa. How did you know I was going to say that?", "c": ["Pete", "Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "There's no Turkish Ambassador to Armenia, the two countries don't have diplomatic relations. Uncanny.", "c": ["Clark", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Great, more screen time for the war vet. All you got to do is risk your life for this country and everyone goes ga-ga for you.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Is this a show about the resiliency of the human spirit, or is it a show about singing?", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Jim is happy here, selling paper at Dunder Mifflin? That's what he says. If you say so.", "c": ["Darryl", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Here you are, sir! Here's your coffee. Ow! My skin! Ow! Ow! It burns! Ow! Uncanny.", "c": ["Phyllis", "Dwight"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "You broke our hearts! Get upstairs. I don't think I should. Get upstairs, mister! Right now!", "c": ["Warehouse workers", "Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "The new Assistant to the Assistant to the Regional Manager is Dwight K. Schrute! Yes! Yes. Thank you.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "I think you might want to kneel for this. And yet, the manager of Dunder Mifflin kneels for no man.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "From now on, anyone who needs to speak to me, has got to go through me first. All right?", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "These dudes are definitely in a weird mood. Picked the wrong day to return a truck.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Did we ever have lunch together, just the two of us? You know what? I'm going to make reservations right now at Cugino's.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "I'm not going to spend the rest of the day here doing stuff with you 'cause you're feeling sentimental. You have to! Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'll do one thing with y'all.", "c": ["Darryl", "Office workers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Kevin, could you not do that? What? I'm moving the ink down in my pen, for work. Here, use my pen. Don't tell me what to do!", "c": ["Angela", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Tell Phillip that his stupid little baby wish came true!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Smart baby. That's the most flavorful bond.", "c": ["Creed"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "You even look shorter. Oh, I took out my lifts.", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Get the sheep baa-ed. Oink the pigs. That is very important. Dwight, I'm telling you all the things Ma said after the horse kicked her in the head.", "c": ["Andy", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "The way that boy looks at the Galactica, is precisely the way I look at the Galactica. And he eats the same kind of paper I do.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Stanley is sleeping. You don't want to wake up the grumpy old walrus, do you? I heard that.", "c": ["Creed", "Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "You want me to take the little diaper blaster? Pam can attest, there's no one better at getting brats to shut their yaps. He does have a gift.", "c": ["Creed", "Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Which will it be, money or the beet? Beet. Yeah. Any ordinary child would have taken the money, but you're no ordinary child, are you?", "c": ["Dwight", "Phillip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "I can tell by your gorgeous, widely set eyes.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "I'm Casey Dean. Be seeing the last of me. Or I meant you won't be seeing the last of me.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "This baby is of superior intelligence and can tell when he is being tricked out of the experience of a real human breast. Come on. He's not that smart. He doesn't know where I hid his duck.", "c": ["Dwight", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Busted. Got it. Yes, all right, tried to get your attention with tricks, but you just want to hear me sing. I respect that.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Slept in my car last night, quit my job, burned all my bridges! I went to the bathroom on my boss's car, and I did unspeakable things with Carla Fern.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "You can't just sit here and cry. I can so just sit here and cry!", "c": ["Producer", "Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Yeah, a $25 gift card, iTunes. I think there's, like, $7 left. It's just his way of saying, 'Thanks for letting me hang out in Accounting.'", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "What a chubbers. Whoa... Okay, hey. I'm losing my balance. Okay, Kevin, no. No. No horseplay. You want to play with the cactus? No! No!", "c": ["Kevin", "Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "He's a little stand-offish at first. But once he starts buying you things, man, you can tell he likes you.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Then the two of you would move to my 1,600 acre estate, which let's face it, is a big step up from living in a gay man's closet.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Plus, her dowry contains a walk-in freezer full of frozen premium cattle sperm. That's a lot of pros.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Plus, her dowry contains a walk-in freezer full of frozen premium cattle sperm. That's a lot of pros. And did I mention that she weaves? Colorful, durable blankets and rugs! It all adds up.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "Some sort of virus? Love. Oh.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "This is a ring taken from the buttocks of my grandmother, put there by the gangster patriarch of the Coors dynasty, melted in a foundry run by Mennonites.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "I just needed you to want to marry me because you wanted to marry me. Get out! I'm a dad! You're a dad!", "c": ["Angela", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "This show is about me and my attempts to find love in all the wrong places. One more for the doc!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "A.A.R.M."}, {"t": "PBS. The propaganda wing of Bill and Melinda Gates, and viewers like you.", "c": ["Unknown narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "It will be nice to see everyone again. I haven't seen Kevin since we let him go.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I've been looking forward to this day since I was 18 years old.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Speech! No.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Get out? What does that mean? / It's a colloquial way of saying you're fired, Kevin.", "c": ["Kevin", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "The cake has spoken, Pam. Sorry.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Toby will stop it. Any time anyone's ever been fired, Toby's blocked it, so... / Yeah. Yeah, I don't think... / Toby, wait, wait. Hold that thought. Here's your cake.", "c": ["Pam", "Toby", "Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Bye, bye, Toby", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "At least I got chocolate.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I bike to work now. It saves on gas, it's cheaper than a vasectomy", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "My heart is so open. I'm so at peace. / Ugh. Look at Meredith. She's disgusting.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Those feet. They're like the paws of an orangutan.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Now that she's wearing sports bras, we don't see her boobs as much.", "c": ["Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Oh, and the old man to feed us the cheese that he's been fermenting since the day of my birth.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I hired him back after Creed faked his own death in the baler the day after the doc aired.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "The only person he fooled was Kevin.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Turns out Creed was in the band The Grass Roots, in the 1960s. During that time, the police say he sold drugs. And trafficked in endangered species meat. And stole weapons-grade LSD from the military.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Party time, whorehouse. / No. No whorehouse. This is Dwight's night. Okay?", "c": ["Andy", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "bestisch Mensch", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Guten pranken.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "often times in Hollywood portrayals of bachelor parties, there are accidental murders. That won't be necessary tonight.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Mose has been weird? That's so unlike him.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "when I started sobbing uncontrollably, apparently, that struck a chord with quite a lot of people. Not a very compassionate chord.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "You can't just sit here and cry. / I can so just sit here and cry!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I actually got a call from the Double Rainbow guy and the fat Star Wars kid. Turns out they have a support group. Not really my scene.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "He used to call it a 'keleven.' He told Dwight, 'A mistake plus keleven gets you home by 7:00.' He was home by 4:45 that day.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.83, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I live in Poland now. The Scranton of the EU.", "c": ["Todd Packer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "How long have you been stalking me? / No, no, no. My flight just got in from New York. / Are you still with Pyotr? / No, and I thought I unfriended you.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I have six roommates, which are better than friends, you know, because they have to give you one month's notice before they leave.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Hey-o!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "A bear hug from my favorite mama grizzly.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Must've been another devilishly handsome debonair individual.", "c": ["Darryl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "You remember my two Lap-Band surgeries, right? / Neither do I.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Guten prank number one.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "They wanted me to go to the bachelorette party with the girls. Really? Such a clich\u00e9. I'm a man.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Waazzuup!", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "What, are you going to whack me, Jim? / No, Dwight. You'll be doing the whacking.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "A bazooka. You remembered.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Guten prank number two.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Hey, I know you. You going to sit here and cry?", "c": ["Restaurant patron"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "We're very close. We even have our own special language. / People love it. / They do.", "c": ["Meredith", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "So we'll have an onion loaf for the table, please. And tell us about your heartiest soups.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "It tastes like cigarettes. That won't work.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Mom? / Wait, Wait. What? / Oh, man.", "c": ["Jake", "Everyone"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Give them a good show, my little entrepreneur.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Stripper's only as good as his song.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Be gentle, Jakey, gentle! / If anything, this is rougher!", "c": ["Meredith", "Angela"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "You're telling me! If you want her to leave, just tip her. / What for? We haven't even gotten bread yet!", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Great, which one is that? / Mmm. Hey, driver, why don't you take us to 3030 Adams?", "c": ["Jim", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "That's six 'wells'. Did I get that number right, Dwight?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I heard you bought a bar, Kevin. / Yes, I did. This one. / Now, get out.", "c": ["Dwight", "Kevin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "You? You did this as a prank. My own bestisch Mensch. / Nope, not a prank.", "c": ["Dwight", "Jim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Waste of a good hatchet.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I saw him making his portrait out of a Wooly Willy.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Your Internet searches were so filthy we had to throw out your computer.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Guten prank number three.", "c": ["Jim"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "And her legs are still numb from being in the trunk.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "The man who delivered my divorce papers came by fan boat, which was kind of fun.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I got hated on pretty hard when that auto-tune went viral.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Yeah, people hate you.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "It's like seeing a documentary about how your food is made. It's kind of disgusting. You learn a lot, but I didn't want to know any of it.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Uh, no one recognizes me, but now all my friends call me Plop. So, thanks, PBS.", "c": ["Pete"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "All I can say is, if I had Jim, he'd have a free pass to do anything. I mean if I lucked into that, he could do anything. Anything.", "c": ["Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Do you find that your life feels pointless now that nobody's actually filming you anymore? / Yes.", "c": ["Panel moderator", "Creed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "For the first seven years I was getting my PhD in school psychology and they didn't show it. Yes, I was getting hammered, but, hey, it was college.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "It's like a long book that you never want to end, and you're fine with that because you just never, ever want to leave it. / Like Harry Potter? / Yeah. Like Harry Potter.", "c": ["Pam", "Andy", "Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "More just like, 'Mom, I hate you,' and then she would say, 'Go to your room, young lady,' and I'd stamp my foot and run upstairs. And I have a room, which is really cool.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Mom?", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I can show you my social security card if it helps.", "c": ["Jeff Bomondo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Can you imagine if I'd worn my Jimmy Choos? / I just saved you 600 bucks, mister.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Never came back. Oldest story in the book.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "No, Kelly, he is not named after a hip-hop artist from 2011. It's Drake, like a mix of Drew and Blake.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Ravi's a pediatrician, and some of his patients are total uggos. / Uh, they're called premature, sweetie.", "c": ["Kelly", "Ravi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Thanks for not locking the door when I asked you to, Phyllis! / Sorry, Phyllis. You didn't know.", "c": ["Angela", "Angela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "The minister just told me that it's tradition for the bestisch Mensch to be older than the groom. / Oh, come on. I've never heard of such a thing.", "c": ["Jim", "Dwight"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "That's what she said.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Best prank ever.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "See, I get what they're trying to do, but why are the graves so shallow?", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Complimentary hay hooks are placed along the aisles. Just stab them on in there.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I let him suck on a strawberry. He's allergic, but he'll get over it fast.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Michael has so many pictures of his kids, he had to get two phones with two numbers, and he pays two bills. He's just so happy to have a family plan.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "It's me.", "c": ["Stanley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Kelly was hoping that you would keep the baby so they can start a new life together.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It's every parent's dream!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "It sounds kind of lame. No offense.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Well, you bought the house without telling me, so I thought I could sell it without telling you.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I had to pledge $50 to my local PBS station just to get this.", "c": ["Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Oh, um, I kind of meant just everybody from the office.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "It took me so long to do so many important things. It's just hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could have been.", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "if you film anybody long enough, they're going to do something stupid. It's only human natural.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Don't be an idiot. It's for the severance.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Oh, right, for what? The art? The music? The incredible night life? No, thank you.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "Oh, I can so just sit here and cry!", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.", "c": ["Andy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "But seriously, you made a nine-year documentary and you couldn't once show me doing my origami?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I think I'm gay. / Why do you say that? / It's just that I'm so emotional. / You're not gay. You're not gay.", "c": ["Kevin", "Oscar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "I just feel lucky that I got a chance to share my crummy story with anyone out there who thinks they're the only one to take a dump in a paper shredder. You're not alone, sister.", "c": ["Meredith"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?", "c": ["Pam"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Office", "ss": "the-office", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "Finale"}, {"t": "The inter-nerds are on it.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Yeah, is that a poppy seed there in your teeth?", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "well, then the VEEP has landed.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Like a big, beautiful eagle.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "He has so many tubes in him, he looks like a set of bagpipes.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "It's like a wheelchair for the eye.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I'm not a sniper.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "There aren't enough people to fill a fucking canoe in here.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Is that a map joke?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I am in a room with three people and a fuckload of quiche.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Do these not bend the fuck back? What am I supposed to do with this? I'm supposed to eat around corners?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "How do you suggest that I mingle with this few people? Did Simon mingle with Garfunkel?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Well, you know what I say, it's a dirty job and I love to do it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Power. I'm kidding!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "She's middle of the road. She's mediocre, really. Of all the -ocres, she's the mediest.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "All right, look, watch me, autismo. You take the little pod, put the little pod in the fucking hole, shut the fucking lid, hit the fucking button for two fucking seconds.", "c": ["Unnamed character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, next time pack an espresso machine in your big fuckin' bitch bag.", "c": ["Unnamed character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "And you do not want to fuck with those guys because they fuck in a very unpleasant fashion.", "c": ["Barbara"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I could draw you a diagram, but it would be a very simple diagram.", "c": ["Barbara"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Oh, I can handle geometry, Barbara, all right?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Rapey Reeves.", "c": ["Barbara"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "He was full of bourbon. And he grabbed my left tit.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Because that guy is a weapons-grade retard. I think you might have been hoist by your own retard there.", "c": ["Barbara"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Yeah, it was like a funeral for a homeless guy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "'Selina, hi. I'm melting. I'm melting.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "You know my motto, 'I don't want to know.' Anyways, what motto? I don't have a motto.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, what was I just gonna say? Oh. I don't know. It just went out of my head.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Close the door. On your way out, close it. Quickly. Quick, quick. Quick, quick. God Almighty.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I love Italian, Jonah, but still, unfortunately, really dislike you.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Hey, it's the guy from 'My Left Foot.'", "c": ["Unnamed character"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "'Cause you need to put it up on that star chart on your refrigerator.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "And in each of those did he say, 'Someone get this freak the fuck away from me'?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Obviously they won't ask you guys because you have no... um, you just have other areas of expertise. Yeah, clean jobs, Yemen, mission to Mars.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Uh, don't tell me what to do, Doogie Fucking Howser.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "That address makes me hard.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "You looked tired a lot and the hat.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Oh, Dan is a shit. You want to expand on that? Sure. He's a massive and total shit.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "When you first meet him, you think surely to God this man can't be as big a shit as he seems, but he is. 'Cause like if there were a book with covers made of shit, you'd think, 'That's intriguing. I wonder what's in this book that they saw fit to give it covers made of pure shit.' And then you open it and... shit.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "She's got a small mustache. It's a little disturbing. Don't stare at it, okay?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "You could use celery as a kind of shovel.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "She's fun, she's sexy. She can advance my career. I really like her.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I'll redact your fucking face.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "This has been pencil-fucked completely? Uh, yes, front and back. Very little romance.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "What's left here? I've got 'hello' and I have... Prepositions.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "That's your 'Sergeant Pepper's.'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Who knew he wore kitten heels?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "He's more of a stilettos kind of guy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "He died. He's... he's dead now.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Politics is about people. It's about people.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "That's because Mike McClintock there threw him into the Potomac River.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "we were hoist by our own retard.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "What if Tom Hanks dies? I'm not wishing that. I'm saying anything could happen... Tom Hanks could die, there could be a forest fire in L.A.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "How did you get this job? You really want to base your press strategy based on trying to figure out when Tom Hanks is gonna...", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Making physics fun.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Every minute that we delay, 'Retard' goes up a font size.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Feed the dog. Walk the dog. Shoot the dog. Bury the dog.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "She's not funny. Of course I know that.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Your dick is hanging out of your pants.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Did the VEEP kill the last remaining snow leopard? Did she firebomb a hospice?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Did the VEEP kill the last remaining snow leopard? Did she firebomb a hospice?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "What you got cooking? Dickwad pie?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "When a sexual harasser dies, we sign his wife's card. Okay? That's how Washington works.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "That didn't get me.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Yeah, right after I leaked that story.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "all you've got left in the last 10 remaining years of your working life is a damp apartment, cold crab cakes, and an invisible fucking dog.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "How sure are you on a scale of one to 10? Like one is the... Yeah, yeah, I can work out how the fucking scale will go, Gary.", "c": ["Gary", "Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "If I were writing a memoir, which I'm not, but if I were, whew, this would be a big moment.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "If I were writing a memoir, which I'm not, but if I were, whew, this would be a big moment.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I am putting out two fires in there, and I turn around to find out that you have set fire to the fucking fire truck.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Fucktard.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh, is this gonna become like 'Moonlighting' where we fall in love and start fucking?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Are you here to steal the incorrectly-signed card?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I want Amy to go on a date with me tonight. Don't worry about it, okay? We're not gonna have sex, all right? Because she hates me.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "And if all the other eights that I do want to have sex with see that I am eight-capable, then I'm going to be having sex with an eight very soon. It is intern season, Gary.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "And if all the other eights that I do want to have sex with see that I am eight-capable, then I'm going to be having sex with an eight very soon. It is intern season, Gary.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Do I look like a pimp to you? You look exactly like a pimp.", "c": ["Gary", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Do I look like a pimp to you? You look exactly like a pimp.", "c": ["Gary", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "You look exactly like a pimp.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "For me, that was 12 years of marriage.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Yeah, you could be legally electrocuted for doing that, just so you know.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Foreplay, direct sunlight.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, well, I'm fluent in bastard. Okay? It's one of my languages.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "I'm the user, and he's the usee.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Shrimp Linguini and a porno. Oh, hey. I'm just kidding. It's chicken Linguini.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "This is how they solved the Cuban missile crisis. This is my Cuba.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "This is my Cuba.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Amy, I need a shit.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "You got a brand-new desk in the corner. Follow me, I've got a beautiful spot for your adoring photo of girlfriend Carol Hallowes. Actually, she's not my girlfriend anymore. I just broke up with her about 15 minutes ago via text. Well, cold and rather nerdy. Actually, it was an app.", "c": ["Dan", "Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "Touch me and you lose a finger. And a ball.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Fundraiser"}, {"t": "God, this gastric bug, it's got my head all jammed up and my ass is like the thunderdome.", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I feel like a gecko.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Sorry to interrupt, but fuck-a-deedoo-dah, fuck-a-Dee-ay!", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "That is so great for me. And the country. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I meant.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "That's why I get paid the medium bucks.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Well, that's sort of a stupid thing to say, isn't it? 'Cause you can't drink a solid, can you?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Soup?", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Well, soup is solids suspended in liquid, so it qualifies as a liquid.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "See that? Gary was a major at U.V.A. in science.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "So occasionally that's of use.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "His Facebook status is 'may God have mercy on my boxers.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Yeah, I saw that. I liked it.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Can move more air by farting.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Those don't open. Those are anti-suicide windows. They only put those in after you started working here, right, Gary?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "You're making it sound like a coup.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna say I'm not enjoying the President being in South Africa.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "God, wearing some kind of shawl at a lion sanctuary.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Where we gonna find them? Photo op with the normals and the normalistas.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "You're not gonna get a good photo holding a book. It's like kids read or something.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Kids are unpredictable. They wet their pants.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "We can totally normalize with those guys.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "It was like getting off a mild food poisoning.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Look, Amy, I am genuinely sorry that my arrival here has caused you to become so self-conscious and gain a little weight.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Fuck point you.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I want the people who are on time to think that they're late.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "No, you're the guy with the big bag of lip balm, Gary. You're fucking Kissinger.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I'm her moon.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Right, with the lip balm if she got shot in the lips. That could crack 'em pretty bad.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Doyle is essential. He's like the Russian doll of the Senate. Comes with little senators inside of him.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Don't shoot. Don't shoot. Please don't shoot. Shoot him. You can shoot him.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "He can be a real hogfucker.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "You know what I heard? Senator Doyle wears pantyhose. Oh, really? No. But now that you have that image, he's not that scary.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I just won't be photographed eating a hot dog or any other phallic food.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "He was gonna sneeze on you and I blocked it.", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I don't think we're drenched at this end of the table.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "He can be a gold-plated fucking shit gibbon.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but can I just say? You kinda look like an asshole.", "c": ["Murray"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "It was a sneeze bullet. Right in the face. Saved Selina from the bug. Pure instinct. It was like a dirty bomb and I... bam... Dived on it.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Can I blow you? Uh, yes, you can. I will meet you out in the hallway in a few seconds. Sure, I'll get a stepladder.", "c": ["Dan", "Jonah", "Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Mint. It implies freshness, trust, traditional values.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Oh, swirl. Racial harmony and crossing the aisle.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I mean, that would be like persuading a guy to fist himself.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I got niced.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "And it's your job to know that if I say I have it covered, I don't have it covered and you cover me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I need you to have... make me unsaid it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Oh, c'mon. Vanilla is a girl's flavor.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Perhaps if you had done your job better, then, oh, I could choose vanilla or chocolate or fucking blueberry with fucking sprinkles on it. But that's not an option for me, okay?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I'm confused. Are we still talking about yoghurt here?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "You're gonna kill him and you're gonna do life for murder and I never have to see your face again.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "We now go over live to the Vice President for her pissed-off reaction.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "It's like Charlie Brown and the football.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "You have on a very sweaty shirt. By golly, I do.", "c": ["Maria", "Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Those taxes are eating us alive. Gobble, gobble.", "c": ["Maria", "Anthony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Potus Interruptus, that's what I call it. And I'm gonna tell him.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "You tell that shit- for-brains President...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Please, be quiet! The President is experiencing severe chest pains.", "c": ["Secret Service"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "So you, my friend, have your cock out at a funeral.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Hey, come on, I major in major.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "faultless G.P.S. in guiding our nation.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Holy mother of God and sweet Jesus Christ.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "My balls are comprehensively busted here. I'm down to my reserve pair.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "That screaming, falling sound is my fucking patience going out the window.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "From now on, you bleached, plucked asshole, I am your fucking Siamese stalker.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "And you, you gay, Irish fireman... you, you're okay. But you, you I do not like.", "c": ["Anthony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Crossed wires. Potus just suffered heartburn after a traditional barbecue at the state function.", "c": ["Secret Service"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "It's been an honor to serve such an accomplished understudy, ma'am.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "And I've also thrown out all of the Strawberry-Selina. It had a bad taste.", "c": ["Anthony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Bite and smile.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "Yeah, moving... I'm moving them down.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "I can't uncross my legs.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Frozen Yoghurt"}, {"t": "\"who's the real first lady?\" sexist bullshit. can't get drawn into it. comparing our clothing budgets and our stylists-- like that's all we care about?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "stupid fucking midget. clearly he hasn't heard you sing.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "or should i say canine-didates?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "no, you shouldn't say that.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "i don't need a ball of yappy hair shitting its body weight every 30 minutes.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "four legs good; three legs bad.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "simon? what an unbelievable name. i guess he just looked like a simon.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "to drink or applied directly to the coat?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "ha! leave my fake dog alone.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "four legs good; three legs bad.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "whassup, as they say in the late '90s?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "although i'm sure he wouldn't miss it for the world if it weren't for the fact that he runs the world.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "she'd be a rough fighter, though. she's got big shoulders. those aren't pads.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "blink if you understand me, mike.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "be careful your ears don't pop on the way down.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "i was gonna say eva peron. yeah, i prefer that comparison. less of a mustache.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "this is not the hoover dam. yeah, it is the hoover dam... filled with shit.", "c": ["Amy", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "uh, does it get used in a clumsy and unpleasant analogy by you?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "i'm like the last guy in a human centipede with this. and there it is.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "he was rapey reeves. when was that guy ever respectful?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "god, today feels like the perfect storm, doesn't it? yeah, hurricane selina.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "and just so you know, this is also what would happen if we were in a lifeboat.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "selina is on next year's list of hurricanes. oh, shit! what if it hits and we get headlines saying 'selina causing large-scale devastation'?", "c": ["Dan", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "people won't equate you with a natural disaster, ma'am. really, amy? 'cause i've met some people, okay? real people, and i've got to tell you, a lot of them are fucking idiots.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "did you know old grandpa fumblepants couldn't even swim? he would just hang out in the shallow end and stare. you know what his favorite stroke was? was it dick stroke? it was dick stroke.", "c": ["Selina", "Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "f.y.i., ma'am, the president is not calling. f.y.i., gary, no shit.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "you are like a... earlobe-- you're just there, just wobbling.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "oh, holy shit. these mushrooms are amazing. what is it, mike? must be ricotta or something in there.", "c": ["Mike", "Senator Doyle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "so i imagine that i would mix ape shit with bat shit, raise it to a whole new level of fury, then i'd probably rip your face off and use your eye sockets as a sex toy.", "c": ["Senator Doyle"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "it's just a hypothetical like yours.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "you dumped my daughter by text and didn't even apologize. oh, no, i did. i signed off with colon open brackets.", "c": ["Hallowes", "Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "chuck is a gesture all right. do you know what these oil wise guys call him? they call him 'who the fuck is chuck furnham?'", "c": ["Hallowes"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "your husband was a massive player. politically speaking, of course.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "i guess all those tears must be dehydrating.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "cock-blocking widow.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "is there even a name for that? how about catch-44?", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "if you say chuck furnham, i will go into anaphylactic fucking shock.", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "i'm saying chuck furnham. fucking hell!", "c": ["Amy", "Sidney"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "the only thing that chuck is plugged into is his fucking piss bag.", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "this in no way will be demeaning. just pretend you're picking him up, you know, and he's blind.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "now is it true that the first lady calls you creepy veepy?", "c": ["Mrs. Reeves"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "as good as announced is not announced. you are as good as dead, but you're not actually dead... not yet.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "tell her that i'm cancelling the lunch that was supposed to prove there's nothing more important than catherine because something more important than catherine has come up.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "you guys ditched me at a pervert's memorial that's some cold shit.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "a rubik's cube is not impossible to solve. i saw a chinese kid do it in like 10 seconds. 10 seconds, mike.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "yeah, it looks astonished. like it's attached to jumper cables or something.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "yeah, it looks astonished. like it's attached to jumper cables or something", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "what is that skirt? is it a rug?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "you got to be fucking kidding me. i hate these animals. this thing is... unbelievably cute.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "20 years ago, you had no power, but you had balls. now look at you. yeah, now look at me. i have a dick and balls, okay?", "c": ["Doyle", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "no, please. don't stop because of me. this is really interesting", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "you could have said, 'don't blow it.' no, i'm not gonna say that.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "he's like a human teleprompter for small talk. he calls this gary-oke.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "as opposed to what, the west wing of graceland?", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "it's kind of an open secret in washington that mike has an imaginary dog. we call it his bullshit-tzu.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "that's kind of genius. thanks, todd", "c": ["Catherine", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "last two on the deck of the titanic, huh? yeah, i think i might jump.", "c": ["Mike", "Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "dilka. what? dilka? dilka? i think her dad's iranian. iranian?", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "sweet hairy fuck.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "you are not fucking thor, mom.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "mom, stop talking to me like a fucking politician.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "mom, stop talking to me like a fucking politician.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "when you say it out loud, you know, it does sound-- kind of idiotic.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "catch-44, he caught it. pow!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "ma'am, you need to kill the dog. not literally, but-- i mean, yeah, if it comes to it, then literally.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "you guys, are we seriously gonna let the guy with the police sketch face of a rapist tell us what to do?", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "oh, this rapist face gets eights. consensually, i might throw in.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "you are getting this little rat-faced, repulsive, yappy, crepit-looking terrier.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "it's called a shitbull terrier. it's a bullshit-tzu.", "c": ["Catherine", "Gary"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "there's not enough alcohol in the world, jonah.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "you got a convenient opening i can slide into? open up a slot for jonah? there's not enough alcohol in the world, jonah.", "c": ["Jonah", "Sue"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "let's go mingle the shit out of 'em.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "let's go mingle the shit out of 'em.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "that must have hurt... unless you had a c-section.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "su casa es mi casa. mi casa. mi casa es su casa.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "oh, christ has risen.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "tell your brother i love his music. no, he's not.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "oh, christ has risen.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Catherine"}, {"t": "Because it's better than watching Gary drip that fucking noodle juice down his chin.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "God, I'm gonna snort a line of tzatziki and go.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "'Cause if you ever wanna step several rungs down the ladder, I could always use help from a fellow Daniel.", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Yes, but sometimes you have to go down to go up.", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "But everyone will be watching her, so I guess I can just wing it.", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "I'd better be going around myself, make sure everyone gets to touch the hem of my garment.", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "I'm gonna steal that, because he who speaks in maxims... can sound wise.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "This is good. This is like cornbread.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You looking for some fresh backs to stab?", "c": ["Senator Doyle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Why don't you try working an iPad with your dick?", "c": ["Senator Doyle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "No, he's already got carpal tunnel in that area.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Oh, is that what they call it still with two oil guys on it?", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Wow, you're gonna have to buy a lot of spray cans to paint that turd gold.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Who uses withdraw as a fuckin' verb besides catholics and butlers?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Maybe the Israeli military every once in a while.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You gotta network to get work, baby. All right? Chung for change.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You could talk about how you always get a sweaty upper lip underneath studio lights. That shows you're normal.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Well, the redskins have a great running game this year and, honestly, that receiving corps over there, Anquan Boldin, not looking good for you.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Beer makes me so gassy... about how it always bloats you, beer.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You can talk about that... about how it always bloats you, beer.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Did he do this thing where you don't know if you're supposed to hug him or crucify him? Which, by the way, makes me wanna crucify him.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Should I fire up the shit eater?", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "To vice president Salina Meyer... with an 'a'... from an admiring wannabe.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "What an e-hole.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Plus, he doesn't wanna look like he made a massive error picking you... Well, that was lovely.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "If anything, Chung was too late.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Do I look like a kindergarten teacher to you, Mike? Actually, yes.", "c": ["Sue", "Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You're not even your mom's favorite Jonah, Jonah.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Does he want to operate me by remote control? No. That's not technologically possible.", "c": ["Selina", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Well, with respect, ma'am, do you think anybody's gonna remember your primary campaign?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You know, I meant that more as a slight against the power of recollection of the electorate and not as an attack on the potency of your campaign.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Oh, because you have the social skills of someone who was raised by wolves.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "God, I love saying that.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "My zipper on my Leviathan broke, so I had to drive around trying to find a replacement.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You know what I did? I went to bed at 7:00 P.M. 7:00 P.M. on a Saturday night. Even people who are dying of malaria stay up later than that.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Hearing you say that gives me a massive hard-on. Oh, baby, I'm ready to launch.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Why are you so tired? You don't do anything.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "He was born back in China before his dad got his citizenship, so he can't be president or vice president.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I'm gonna eat him up.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "A team can't play itself, can it? You can in video games.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "That's sweat. That's lip sweat. / That's shimmer.", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Well, I'll say this... in order to reform, you have to perform.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Hello, penis enlargement clinic.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Well, he, uh... Ray Rice, he play nice.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Uh, you know, I would, but I've got a game of solitaire going on, so I think I'll give that a skip.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Well, I'd be surprised because technically he's not an American. I mean, because he wasn't, um, born here, you know, not because he's half Chine...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "It totally might have just been me, but kind of... didn't it sound a little glitchy in the end or anything like that?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "All I heard was the sound of a fuckup, okay?", "c": ["Sound guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "That's why I'm in here in here, Dan.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You don't wanna give a loaded gun to that walking silo.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Well, I'm Sue. It's my job to know everything, Amy.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "No, they don't.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Oh, well, the White House is very much under the moon about that", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You can't just make up acronyms, Jonah. Somebody has to, Mike.", "c": ["Mike", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "What do you call that? Bi-casual? Thanks, Mike, but it's Sunday. I work hard, I work fast, and I get hot legs. I say let the whale hang loose.", "c": ["Mike", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "I work hard, I work fast, and I get hot legs. I say let the whale hang loose.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Do you have something that can fit the McClintock shape that's not a Santa suit?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Converse generally? What about? The weather? / Not about the weather. / It is unseasonably warm, though, okay?", "c": ["Selina", "Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Well, it's unseasonably warm.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "if, for some reason, we find out that there was negligence that caused this accident, those who are responsible are gonna have the White House to answer to.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "'Cause technically he's not an American. They're taking over our ports. It's like they've invaded us. Come on, this is the White House, not the Yellow House.", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Gary, that was my fucking flesh that you just... trapped in there.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Jennifer, quite frankly, I had more windows in my first apartment than the V.P. currently has in her schedule.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Oh, sure! You know what? I blame George Washington. If he hadn't started this whole form of government, then we wouldn't...", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "I'm the vice president of the United States, you stupid little fuckers! These people should be begging me! That door should be half its height so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn, motherfucking knees.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You want to break out the white, pointy hoods, too, ma'am?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Once you go down that dark country road, the lights go out and the scarecrows come to life.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Look, Mike, that's what you always hear because mentally you're in a fuckin' hammock on a back porch.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Is McCaulay the one with the nose hair problem like he's got two raccoons in his nostrils?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "What? He's Captain fuckin' America?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "What did Scott use as a research tool, the fuckin' drudge report? That and bathroom walls.", "c": ["Amy", "Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "I've got a purple heart on my chest, but the one that beats inside of me is red, white, and blue.", "c": ["Chung (on TV)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "I am gonna throw up a leg. And then I'm gonna take that leg and I'm gonna beat Scott to death with it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "I've got a purple heart on my chest, but the one that beats inside of me is red, white, and blue.", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Chief? Shouldn't that be chiefess?", "c": ["O'Brien"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "I'd like to know if you're going to offend us with some chickenshit deal that means we have to leave before the food comes.", "c": ["O'Brien"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Now, if you had bad neighbors who came into your yard every night to crap a buttful of drugs and beans on your flowers, you might think about building a fence.", "c": ["O'Brien"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Yeah, but ironically, the only affordable option would be immigrant labor.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Now you keep talking like that, sweetheart, and we'll be having cigars at the end of this dinner. Just not Cuban ones.", "c": ["O'Brien"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You know what... I'm coming over there, like, right away. Uh, you know, when you come over, can you try and sneak in incognito? I got Korean neighbors and I don't think they'd like the idea of me dating you.", "c": ["Selina", "Ted"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "It's about seven inches, hangs between my legs... The thing. I like to call him sergeant Ted.", "c": ["Ted"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Is that some kind of a joke or something? It's not funny at all. Fuck off, Ted.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "What happened to your hot pants? Oh, the hot pants picked up some negative traction. I realize now they're unbecoming of my office.", "c": ["Selina", "Jonah"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "I will appear to love filibuster reform as much as I appear to love my idiot son. And for my wife's sake, I appear to love that wretched shitnia lot.", "c": ["O'Brien"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Sometimes you've gotta go down to go up.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Something about 'getting fucked every which way.' Direct quote.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "How many times can she be underneath that? She's got such a little body and he seemed like a big man.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "Dan, you have about 10 seconds to stop distracting me, or the next thing that they'll find at the back of that couch are your remains.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Chung"}, {"t": "You know, democracy is fantastic, but it is also fucking dull.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Is she falling asleep? No, she cannot fall asleep on live TV. Not on C-SPAN. The irony would be too huge.", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Are you really waving? She cannot see you through the TV. Most of us learn that when we're four.", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Undressing me with your eyes. - I'm adding more clothes, Mike.", "c": ["Mike", "Staff member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "You have one community college meeting this afternoon. - Is that it?", "c": ["Sue", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "How about if you scroll up? - That's the past, ma'am.", "c": ["Selina", "Sue"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Probably sending photos of his dick to himself.", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Firefighters have a passion for their work. Arsonists just have a burning desire.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.47, "im": 3.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Is that even a joke?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Fire safety guy asked me the other day, 'do I smoke in bed? And I said, 'I've never had any complaints.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.99, "im": 3.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Too shock? Too shock?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Having a massive stroke is an excuse for coming in late to this office. Having sex is absolutely not, Dan.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "I didn't even think you'd be here. - Why? - Well, there's the briefing on the fiscal responsibility bill at the White House.", "c": ["Dan", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "You got rollerblades?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Bob Lewis has got emphysema. Sounds like a broken-down leaf blower.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "I'm fructose intolerant. - Fructose? - Fruit sugars. - It's very rare.", "c": ["Jonah", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Just when you thought he couldn't get any weirder, - He did.", "c": ["Staff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Maybe he's just flakey like Gary's feet.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "My nicknames? Gary, what are my nicknames?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Mammary Meyer.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Grisly Madam, She-ra, Meyer the Liar, the Batcave, Pissface, Wicked Witch of the West Wing, Veep Throat, VoldeMeyer, Dickless Van Dyke, Tawdry Hepburn, Blunder Woman, Selina Meh.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Pissface? Huh? - No, not that one.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Vaselina, Betty Poop.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Hat? Oh, wedding? - No.", "c": ["Dan", "Amy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "She appreciates the gesture of me trying to trick her into believing that.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "When they bring out the bread, you check it out. It is a fuckload of bread. Believe me, you could feed a family, like a fat family off the fuckload of bread alone.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Oh, no. No way, dude. Fructose.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "I got a cock like a cappuccino frother. One of the big ones. The industrial ones, not the little ones.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Yup, that's a regular granary gangbang.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Intel, that's a brand of microprocessor. - Strong joke.", "c": ["Jonah", "Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "He's got a big veiny boner for it.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "You cut me, I bleed metal.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "To eat at a different fucking restaurant.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "I think we should just fine the fuckers till the fuckers aren't fine.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "He's not supposed to register emotion. He's supposed to be like a robot geisha.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Viagra Prohibitor? Why, because when a guy's with me he doesn't need viagra? - No.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "They are saying that a prescription medication that is supposed to guarantee a strong and sustained erection in all men despite their age or their health is rendered ineffective by me?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "This is fucking like being operated on by a chimp with a hard-on and a hacksaw.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Yeah. That's exactly how I feel about the clean jobs legislation.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "NASA's gonna have to build him an escape pod.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "I don't have any children. I have a niece but I fucking hate her.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Dan is a great choice. He is already a huge advocate of the devil's.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "And I should tell you, I think you're borderline developmentally disabled. This bill is a fucking disgrace and I'm gonna see to it personally that it gets chewed up like a dead prostitute in a wood chipper.", "c": ["Sidney Purcell"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "This is class genocide. This is rich white people and their rich white champion Selina Meyer demanding an unproven solution to an unproven problem so they can sleep better at night.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "There are no more Adolfs. Soon there will be no more Selinas. You are looking at the last Selina. The Selina who killed America.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "There are no more Adolfs. Soon there will be no more Selinas. You are looking at the last Selina. The Selina who killed America.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "My chief criticism is that I don't fully understand it. If I don't understand it...", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "I will kill the children.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Mrs. DoubtMeyer", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "That's like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo. It doesn't do the job and it makes a fucking mess!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "That's like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo. No, no, no. Let me be more clear. It doesn't do the job and it makes a fucking mess!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Remind me never to get trapped inside a burning building with you, Mike.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "What I'm saying, you fucking ape, is that you are a useless waste of fucking carbon. I've been trying to cynically use you, but you're so fucking low-rent, you can't even be exploited.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "You guys think you're fucking New York, but you're not.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll sneak into your apartment with a bag of oranges and fructose you to death.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "I don't know. They're so Parisian.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "That was a play on 'it's hammer time.' - I know. What bill is it?", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "This is some weird ass 'through the looking glass' shit right now.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "You have put this entire office into a salad spinner of fuck.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, ma'am, but you have drawn the fat straw.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "You want to know the secret to keeping weight off? Shut your fucking pie hole. How about that? It's not rocket science.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "You don't masturbate in the subway, do you, Amy? No, you don't. Do you shit in the street, Amy? No, of course you don't. Because you've gotten ahold of yourself.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Nicknames"}, {"t": "It's food-nomenal. Really. It really is.", "c": ["Unknown staffer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.73, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "My bladder was like a fuckin' blimp.", "c": ["Unknown staffer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "If you ever want me to confess, don't rip out my fingernails, just make me eat like a vegan for a fuckin' week.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "The VP look like she's about ready to open up a vein.", "c": ["Unknown staffer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know, feel my soul slide out of my ass.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "This smells like the inside of a taxi cab.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Those yellow things look... so...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Orgasmic's more like it, right?", "c": ["Health food vendor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.38, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I'll have some of what you're having.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I meant for him.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Nobody needs to know which of my eyebrow hairs needs to be plucked.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Turn that frown... upside-down.", "c": ["Food vendor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "It's his feely, little, touchy, hot hands.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Someone needs to tell him that he's working with the White House and not 'Penthouse.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "You stole a car?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I could probably have unprotected sex with 30 men, one right after the other, and it would be totally fine.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I mean, no, it wouldn't be totally fine. I mean, that would be a horrible thing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "How do you think that plays?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Gary's bag demonstration - 60 separate pockets within the area", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Scented, unscented? Scented. Bam!", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Unless we go on some sort of special vacation to Mexico and... kill the doctor in the desert.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "You take hundreds of pictures of herons catching fish? Because otherwise you don't need a 1D.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Photos with the nutritionists, hang with the players, over to the school, then we pregnancy test you to fuck.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "How's the weather up there in your asshole?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "One day you're gonna wake up and you're gonna find your lungs have turned to pastry.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "The best thing for her legacy is if she's assassinated before she starts showing.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Business card bukkake.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Razor blades, a large amount of pain killers.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Amy, come on, career-wise, that's like joining scientology or getting a fucking neck tattoo.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "My first thought was, 'there goes your figure,' but I didn't say that because I thought it would be upsetting.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Thanks. You know, if it's a boy, maybe I'll name him after you. Call him fuck weasel.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Amy's practically having a baby about it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Are you networking with an eight-year-old?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "'Lion King' DVD and two shots of ritalin.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "That's how I was raised.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I'd like to free that boy from the prison of obesity.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I believe he was reassigned because of his cologne. It was Paco Rabanne.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "That's like carbon offsetting.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I spent a night in jail when I was 19 once. That was more fun than this.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I'm gonna kill you and eat you, because I will not eat another fuckin' falafel.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Hey, Jimmy fuckin' Olsen, get lost before I shove that thing up your ass and give you another kind of red eye to worry about.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Did you put it in your mouth?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Holy f... uck.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I can carry the baby around in a little sling or something like that.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Is Jonah the dad? Is that why you look like you wanna drink a bottle of drano?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "They're gonna be pulling that kid out of you in shifts.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "You don't have any idea what you're talking about. Fuckin' idiot.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I'm with the team... my playas. Boom shaka laka. That's how they talk.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I do know, however, that the past few weeks she has been pretty busy.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "You proposed by giving me some sort of a ring in a heart-shaped, fuckin' oyster thing or something.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I don't know how fucking big my finger is, Ted!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Read my lips... Don't read my lips.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Read my lips... Don't read my lips.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "You having fun? No. Hear that? No fun. You are no fun.", "c": ["Dan", "Child"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Or a suicide. I haven't decided which.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "You think that as a woman I might sense some disturbance in the fuckin' 'lady matrix'?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "The guy's like gay porn... He's everywhere.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "You think that as a woman I might sense some disturbance in the fuckin' 'lady matrix'?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I said she's repugnant. I said Selina's repugnant.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "You're very, very pregnant.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "Waited all day for that.", "c": ["Child"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Baseball"}, {"t": "I have a black belt in Mike Kwan Do", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Hands off the suit", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "You must have a huge schadenboner over this Amy flack", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "God, she is gonna go ape-shit menstrual over this", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm on the phone with AT&T. Can you stop shouting 'menstrual'?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "like the contents of a broken fucking condom", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "This is going in with the dirty dishes, man. For fuck's sake. If this is broken, I'm adding it to your fucking rent", "c": ["Dan", "Jonah"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Well, I was gonna say that brings a smile to my face, but that would be unsafe, wouldn't it, ma'am?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "That's very funny, Bill. You're fired. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "'Secret' as in shut the fuck up. And 'service' as in you work for me", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I want a name and a severed head that answers to that name, or would if it could still talk", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Ooh, Gary, did the veep just bitch-slap you with a door?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Oh, what, is she out of hand sanitizer again?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Gary, why are you talking in cliffhangers?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Well, this is good for us. Nicely done, Dandroid", "c": ["Mike", "Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Free from a major fucking political headache, I'd say. That's deep space cold, Dan. Explains why you piss liquid nitrogen", "c": ["Dan", "Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Uh, I was telling the guys about my riding mower I got", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "White House is in the house. * Everybody say way-o! *", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "The skyscraper of shit has arrived", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "It's tagged 'Selina Sell-Outta'", "c": ["White House aide"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I am Selina Meyer. And I don't have any idea what's going on in my office", "c": ["Video Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "All right, pack up your limbs and get the fuck out, Jonah", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I have a much longer reach", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "And technically this is a fully functioning office, too", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "You are the closest to normal we've got going in this office right now", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I don't read half the stuff I'm supposed to", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Just because this isn't your baby, you don't... God, I am so sorry", "c": ["Dan", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I mean, it was like a heavy period. Don't worry about it", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Why would you be writing that down?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "So it doesn't look as if we've just airbrushed the nipples out of this fucking thing", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Your back facials. Oh. Back facials? What? Yeah, I get back acne. Backne", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I do know that I can't know what you know or you don't know. You know?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "The nod of my head is like I'm buffering", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "You've got to put black marker over all the words", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I know, who'd have thought transparent government would take up so much of your field of vision?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Yes, sir. Went to Iraq with the veep. Presented a Thanksgiving turkey. I was there. No fire as I recall. No, but the line was there", "c": ["Mike", "Agent"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Does he ever say anything funny?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Security guys are supposed to be like wallpaper. They're not supposed to be grinning like some ape", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "They're calling it an e-nami", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Hey, gimme a 'J'!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "A cake in the shape of a dick. A smart new hat in the shape of a dick", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "And they are whispering 'Dick Cake'", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Uh, Dick Cake", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Mike, can't you make me not have been pregnant?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "This is what happens when you tell the truth. Nothing good comes of it", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "This is gonna cause a total potal meltdown", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Yeah, why don't you run along and see if you can suck your own cake?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Remind me, who did you blackmail to get this job?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Hey, suck-up isn't gonna fix a fuck-up, Dan", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I'll give you a fucking deal on all three of them, too, if you want", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "So why don't you just take your beak and shove it up some corpse's ass, okay, you vulture motherfucker?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "You can't tell him to fuck his mother. Her mother, actually", "c": ["Ted", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be the dumper. He's gonna be the dumpee", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I don't want to end up with a horse's head in my bed. Though there's room for one now", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Wait a second. Did you just call me buddy?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Let's pretend there's a female farmer and she's got a horse, a sheep, and a pig, okay? The pig", "c": ["Dan", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "I'd rather be a pig than an ass-monkey up on his high horse", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Did you just sidle?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "One condition... I watch you die first and I get to stab you repeatedly to make sure.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Not with testicles", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Do you mean un-redacting? Taking the black off", "c": ["Amy", "Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Oh, we got fired", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "What's her shoe size? Seven. Seven and a half.", "c": ["Gary", "Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Like when you bought pregnancy tests for the veep wearing your staff ID?", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "High-pathetic.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Well, equally, 'cause it's been my life", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "we say some of us mishandled things because you were pregnant? I mean... no, no. No, stupid idea.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Could say the pregnancy test was for me", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Knockity knock knock knock. Peep you later", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "From the place that we like eight blocks away", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "Is he the father? Oh, no, no. Father, no. He can't", "c": ["Reporter", "Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Full Disclosure"}, {"t": "The thing about Ohio is the weather is completely schizophrenic.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.43, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "you're either freezing like a popsicle or you're sweating like a hog. Or a ballerina or modern dancer.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Last I heard, he was three over par. Forum's not happening. Potus took a golf day.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Long time no cc.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Still up here in Cleveland, huh, will? Just rutting around with the regional swine?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. With that provincial sensibility and that girlish figure, you're not gonna last.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Ah, I recognize you. You're one of Selina's little gay dwarves, aren't you?", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "What, are you sappy? Is that it? Preppy?", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "She's about as welcome here as a turd in a hot tub.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "I'd make more money if I installed will here as a full-time gloryhole greeter at a Georgetown gay bar. Which I'm pretty sure he already does part-time. Right, will?", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "We're trying to run a fundraiser and she's kind of toxic at the box office, all right? We're having to bump our silver plates up to gold plates, gold plates are going up to platinum plates.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "First time I took this kid, one look at Kurt Cobain's shoes, he was bawling like a fucking baby. 'It's too soon! It's too soon!'", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "'Not great, admittedly'? Yeah, that should be the title of my fucking memoir.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "66%. What? Approve. Oh! Sorry, disapprove.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "I might as well nail a bunch of puppies to the ground and then start running them over and crush their skulls with my campaign bus.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "All right, well, all due respect, cock nugget", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "backseat, finger-fucking insider bullshit", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Don't endorse.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "She seems nice.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "66% disapprove. That's everyone in America who's awake right now.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "It's tomato juice. It's the Ohio state beverage.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Amy, you're gonna have to start getting everyone to like me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Imagine something small has crawled up a dead cow's ass. And then that small thing actually dies itself. If that dead thing then farted out a sack of eggs, but each individual egg is a smaller, rotting dead thing, that's how toxic she is.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Golf. You know, men walking around with sticks talking about their careers.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Apologies, ma'am. 'Effed in the b-hole' across all networks.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Where is it located, will? The toilet. More accurately, the crapper.", "c": ["Furlong", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Do you sometimes think about, I don't know, I give you this and you give me that and black is up, but brown is down now? Do you know what I mean?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "I mean, in life or even just with love, you know, I mean, at the end of the day, you know, aren't we just all finally just, you know, people?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Don't you say it gives you no pleasure. When anybody ever says that, all they mean is that it does give them so much pleasure. I know what that means.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Don't you patronize me with your no jaw. You congressman no jaw.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "You know, my papaw used to say, 'it's always darkest before the storm.' It's always darkest before the dawn. And then he would kiss me.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "I actually found it slightly erotic, too. That's why it took me so long to split up with Angie. She'd always cry, I'd always get a hard-on.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Then we've just got to tweak the tear nipple.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Chinese daughter torture. It's a good one.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "we are currently polling lower than a side of beef with eyes drawn on it", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "What is that, a fax? Is that a message to yourself from 1988?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "if I'm tired, imagine how tired the rubber makers are here in Ohio. Making rubber day in and day out. I feel that Ohio is the rubber ball state, if you think about it. Always bouncing back.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "She is magnificent.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "If she mentions my name, if I get the stamp of approval, the midas touch from Jenny shitfinger, I'm coming for you, pal.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "I saw a fucking crazy lady. That's what I saw.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Are they gonna live long enough to make it to election day, right behind me? Probably not. Hello, children who do not vote.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Well, there's two types of people. You got grabbers. And then you have the other kind. I don't have a name for that. The ones who don't grab.", "c": ["Platinum donor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "The grabbers, right, they take the world by the scrotum, okay? And they make it happen.", "c": ["Platinum donor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "I don't know what to say, so I'm just whispering instead.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "You know those dreams where your football coach is screaming at you, you look down, you're dressed like Shirley Temple and then all your teeth fall out? That's like a Disney version of a congressional committee.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "you might get what we call corpse fucking. That's what it's called where they take your mortal remains and have as much fun with it as they can.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Well, I'm a political leper, and I'm an emotional time bomb. So here's an idea... let's put me onstage.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "She can't cry three times in a day. That's three strikes and you're out. How big are her tear ducts? It's like they're fucking tidal.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "We used to have a saying in our family. We used to say we're awfully embarrassed by our buckteeth. But we were mighty proud of our buckeyes.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Don't forget your booster seat. Oh, shove it up your ass.", "c": ["Selina", "Furlong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "I've seen it, I've read it, I've eaten it, I've showered in it. I'm back, my babies.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Yeah, you are. Like rubber Jesus.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "I engineered Selina crying on camera. I'm the puppet master. I'm Pinocchio. Pinocchio wasn't the puppet master, Mike. He was the puppet.", "c": ["Mike", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "This is all I've ever wanted. This is all I've never wanted.", "c": ["Dan", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "This is sad. You're like an old panda that's gonna get put down at the zoo. They bring kids in to watch that.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Got played by team veep. They wanted me to make her cry. Hashtag FakeVeepWeep.", "c": ["Reporter via Twitter"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "Holy Christ. Look at the size of this one. Buddy, I think you're as big as my gay dwarf.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "'Cause you're gonna get your head shot, your back stabbed, and your nuts danced on.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "See, now... now I want to cry. But I can't cry. You know, I mean, this job has fucked me up so bad. Now I don't fucking know if I can cry anymore.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "I mean, you've only got four years of this, so... Eight years, I guess, if we got reelected, obviously. 12 if you run for president. 16, two-term.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "That's Dan with a capital D and Egan with an open your fucking ears. Yes, E as in ears.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Tears"}, {"t": "There is no 'I' in freedom. Freedom is not 'medom.' It's 'wedom.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "I visited a dance studio in Hartford, Connecticut. When I was there, I met a brave firefighter in a wheelchair. Back then, we didn't know what HIV positive was. Which meant he had to lose his kidney. He shook my hand and he said, 'You don't remember me, but I am your grandpa.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "I fluffed 'em, now go fuck 'em.", "c": ["Roger Furlong"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "It's like a happy Nuremberg.", "c": ["Unknown aide"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Florida... ought to break it off at Jacksonville and row it to Cuba.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Are you getting ready to dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Yeah, you lost, Dale. Oh, my God. And, actually, I was told that you'd been told.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "No, not for you, Marjorie. In fact, that's probably why you lost the New Jersey fifth.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "I want a Cartier fucking dildo.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Well, he told my mom he felt worse that time he ate gay Jap raw fish shit.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Oh, Amy, that's a great sign, because that's a very complex sentence. Unless he's slurring his words.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Yeah, this is you, Gary... 'Dana, Dana, Dana, Dana.'", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "So when it hits 2:00 A.M., my eyes will say Holocaust, my mouth will say Carnival.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.53, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Oh, that's 'cause your laptop is still running on Windows 2000 and shit.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.06, "im": 4.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Tonight there's gonna be a plane crash shunting a train wreck onto a crowded highway.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Not money problems, money challenges.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Oh, ker-chung, ker-ching. Pay up.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "That and the big quake hasn't yet hit San Francisco.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Like she's ever gonna need that. I mean, she's not ugly, but she's got a lot of security.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "I have a cracked keel, I have to dry-dock it. There's a bilge, which I don't even know where the fuck...", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "I'd like to be cryogenically suspended. Yeah, and then be woken up in the future? No, never wake up. Just stay suspended.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's got ice in his semen.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "You know that portrait with the guy who looks like a fat Wolverine? It's just one door on the left from there.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "My good friend POTUS, my Gamma Chi brother, is gonna summon me to his office and he's gonna show me a sword and he's gonna tell me to take the sword and slide it down my throat until it comes out my ass.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, it's in the office next to your Klonopin and feminine itch powder.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Kent Davison? The Pol Pot of pie charts.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "You know what they call guys like you in prison? Sweetmeat.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "You're gonna have to be prepared to be gay for the stay 'cause you're going down.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Am I supposed to ask a question now? Oh, sure. If you want. Fire away. And what would that question be? Well, that question might be what do you think is the best reposition to take? And what would the answer to that question be? And the answer to that question would be standing right in front of you.", "c": ["Kent", "Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Honey, if you're not at the table, you're probably on the menu.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "And, Kent, I will not be eaten.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Why would anyone want to eat you?", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's the only thing I'd save if this building were on fire.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Why don't you take the first bullet and put it through your brain?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Well, salt and pepper 'em.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "You have as much chance of getting the vice president on your show as you have of getting your husband to leave that cheerleader.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "It's kind of like dumping all my ex-boyfriends at once.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "You can't reason with him. It'd be like explaining Supertramp to a Komodo dragon.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "like some sort of thick rubber condom", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "So put everything on the wagons and shoot the dogs because we have just lost the fucking House.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Screw you and the face you rode in on, Dan.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "No, I said don't wave it in my face. I didn't say eat it. Eat it! Eat it all right now!", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "It's not like it's Google.", "c": ["Sophie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Oh, God. It's fucking Big Bird.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Jesus, I can feel my virginity growing back in here.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Is that a racist joke? Yeah.", "c": ["Jonah", "Dan"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Always with the last word. That's why you're single. Guys hate that. You have three kids by two different guys. Maybe your last word should have been no.", "c": ["Sophie", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "By definition, you should be at half the height of the president.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Now why don't you just go and fuck yourself in your own asshole?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Fuck that lipstick!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "I'm a big part of Gary's life now. And you're welcome to him. I think we both know that any woman who's met him but didn't get to keep him is gonna see me as the enemy. I'm sorry, but you missed your chance.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Uzbekistan is between Turkmenistan and I-could-give-a-fuck-istan.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "I need that stuff that junkies use. You know, when it takes a cop 15 bullets to put him down.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "There's a horse coming out of my head.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Much like when Bigfoot got your mom pregnant, resulting in you.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "I think your ass is perfect.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Well, we are the United States of America because we are united and we are states and we are of America.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Midterms"}, {"t": "Yeah, you were the best thing ... I was the best thing that ever happened to you and you just threw it away.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "And what about poor Memaw, who's guaranteed to be dead by March? ( quietly ) With any luck.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Yeah, I hope we have a number for a contract killer, too. ( laughs ) I'll do it.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Not quite. Like your mother, it's been previously loved and paid for by a couple of guys.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Oh, the old 'drink your way out of alcoholism' approach. I like it.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Not a problem. Uh, an issue. Not even an issue. A hitch. You had a drinking hitch?", "c": ["Mike", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "I get that all the time. - No, you don't.", "c": ["Mike", "Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "But I need to talk to that autistic lumberjack son of a bitch.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Hey, I heard you were doing Pilates. I didn't know you had a core. ( laughs ) I do and it's like steel.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Yeah? What are we doing? - Nothing. Until the numbers support intervention, doing nothing is the most positive thing we can do.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "You know, it's just so great talking to you, Kent. I love being close to the inaction.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "SM-17d. There's a lower case D. - Ah, apologies, sir. - Details are important. A misplaced decimal point can kill a diabetic.", "c": ["Kent", "Aide"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "You know what? Why don't you put on your running shoes and get to the fucking point, Jonah?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Sounds classy. Will Kate Middleton be there?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Okay, so they want me to go to a pig roast to meet a bunch of men who probably took turns to fuck the pig before they roasted it? I wouldn't presume they took turns.", "c": ["Selina", "Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Let me tell you something. I'm going to that 4:30 meeting even if I have to get Sue to fly around the world the wrong way like Superman and reverse time.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "I'll bring you back a sandwich and a six-toed husband.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "It's just typing into a calendar. Oh ... !,I'm sorry, Sue. Your job is really difficult. - Excuse me? - You do it very efficiently.", "c": ["Gary", "Sue"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Okay, well, let's see, I'd rather set fire to my vulva.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Roger Furlong trying to play nice is like Brando trying to play Annie. - That's a good one, Mike.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Did you know that I'm paying 65 grand a year to that school? They had better be putting gold on that popcorn instead of butter, right?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "This must be the first pet project of yours that didn't involve resorting to chloroform.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "If you kill his mother and then dress in her skin, that's technically illegal. Technically.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Where do you live? - Nearby. Local ... to here.", "c": ["Kent", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "What the hell do you do on Air Force One, rub your dick on the seats? I haven't actually been on Air Force One.", "c": ["Selina", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Oh. And your boxers occasionally, I hope. I have a fresh pair every day now.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Those signals took years. I can't just tear up the gestictionary and come up with new codes like that.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "I don't want to get stuck talking pig shit with people who use hay as furniture.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "No, that's like I squished a bug and then I said, 'Oh, it's so cool I squished a bug.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "What if people think I have crabs in my eyebrows? How can you have crabs in your eyebrow?", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Okay, Gary, when a man and a woman love each other very much and it's the man's birthday...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "If Owen Wilson's not in it, I probably don't know it. That doesn't sound like one of Owen's.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "This needs to be the Gettysburg Address of tightrope-walking, say-nothing bullshit.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Well, howdy, y'all. Oh, my goodness. Look at this. Walking the walk, talking the pork.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, go shit yourself, Long Tall Sally, because I will deal with my daughter in my own way on my own terms.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "No, that came out wrong. Listen, how are you doing? Stop it. Stop it. You're freaking me out.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "My boyfriend in college was a quarter Cherokee. Mom, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna say sorry.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Well, we've had happier conversations. Like when I told her her grandpa had died. Oh, she didn't like him, huh? No, that's not what I meant.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Get some towels. I may need to daughter board her.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "I'm running out of nice juice to spray at these shit munchers.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Not only Ginger Rogers, but also Ginger Rogers. Nice joke construction, sir.", "c": ["Furlong", "Aide"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Stop trying to polish my dick, you fucking four-eyed failure.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "You know, you're about as annoying as a condom filled with fire ants. How's that for a fucking metaphor? That's a simile, sir.", "c": ["Furlong", "Aide"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Mike, the VP is voicing solidarity with the Jewish people in front of rotating pork.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Most Jews in this country are fine with pork, Mr. Davison. Pork schmork, they often say.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Son, that fucker is skinned and roasted. He's at a huge disadvantage.", "c": ["Pig Roast Attendee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Your wife is perfectly fine. She ran the Seattle Marathon. All right, don't fuck with me, honey.", "c": ["Sue", "Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "You can't raise pigs without excrement, ma'am. They defecate. And they defecate with speed. And volume.", "c": ["Pig Farmer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "I've been scratching my eyebrow for three and a half fucking hours.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "I've been scratching my eyebrow for three and a half fucking hours. I thought we weren't doing the eyebrow thing. You said about the crabs.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "She's getting her leak on.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Oh, dang, Amy. You put out quick. Right. It turns out I can't mate with anyone outside of my species.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "At work we actually call her Amiable Amy.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "It's not 'Debbie Does Damascus.'", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Sweet Jesus Christ. I want to see the film and I will see the film. Gary, we need to get it. It's 'Five Easy Pieces.' It's '5 Broken Cameras.'", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "This is gonna be like 'Super Size Me' all over again. Why don't you guys just go see 'Mamma Mia!' again for the 10th fucking time?", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Ma'am, you need to make like a snake and get on that airplane.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know, I knew I should have gone with Amy Whitehouse.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Let's run a security check on him and his entire family. And investigate their finances.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "Gary... I do not like to say this, but you have truly disappointed me today.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "I am having the best day. This is such a great time. We're on Air Force Two. U.S. Hey is getting started. Guys, we saved the Florida vote. You guys want to play iPad Scrabble?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Signals"}, {"t": "I'd be terrible in a hostage situation, even as a hostage taker.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "he knows I've got a bigger role in the White House now, which means I've got a bigger dick, which means he can suck it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "That's gonna electrify DC. - Oh, it's gonna AC DC.", "c": ["Amy", "Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Robust is a good word. And you don't hear it often, like bumptious.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Robust makes me think of wine. It's actually how I like my reds.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "You like your reds through a bendy straw, too, right, Mike?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "You got donut on you, Mike.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "VP stands for 'very precious.'", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Wow. Hope it comes with CliffsNotes.", "c": ["Cliff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "That was a play on my name. My name is Cliff.", "c": ["Cliff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Don't do jokes, Cliff. I don't have a sense of humor and neither should you.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "How do you make two perfectly pleasant words so irritating?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "the man who can't take a leak without polling his balls.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Secretary of Defense Maddox is living up to his name. He's mad as an ox.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "He had a pro-strike hawk boner the size of Jonah.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "There's cultures that don't even have any numbers and they do just fine.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Ben, it seems like you're ill-suited for your job and you should resign.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Yeah, precise and surgical, like your lobotomy, Kent.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "No, that's cherry red. - Cerise. - I'm sorry, sir. I must have a very specific form of color blindness.", "c": ["Ben", "Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Oh, the noodle analogy. You guys are gonna love this.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "I will leave.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Any less and they will be flaccid and damp like a lady's hair in the rain.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Why are we talking about noodles? - No, let me rephrase that. Why the fuck are we talking about noodles?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "even though my salivary glands are crying out to me like newly hatched birds.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "You just timed out that whole shit analogy for your little ding?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "That is fucking pathetic.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Probably got his head stuck in her ass.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "They don't salute indoors, Gary. - They don't salute indoors, Gary.", "c": ["Military person", "Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "And did you know in the CD player I've got Ride of the Valkyries? (CHUCKLES) Apocalypse Now.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "I was married to a Devil Dog, but he wasn't a Marine. He was more of a devil.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Small arms means guns, ma'am. - Oh, really, Gary? Not T-rex hands?", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "In anger, too, I might add. Ooh, uh-oh!", "c": ["Maddox", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "The gun could literally backfire. That's where the phrase comes from.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "You could chip a veneer and I don't really want that to happen.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Here he is, Kanye West Wing.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "I'm the boy named Sue.", "c": ["Cliff"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Cliff, when I said no jokes, that wasn't a joke.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "some guy in the hospital with locked-in syndrome.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "All right. There speaketh a pricketh.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Fastest gun in the West Wing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "With this hostage situation, I don't think you have the intelligence. As in intel, of course, ma'am.", "c": ["Maddox"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Is it four or is it five? Or is it six? Or is it seven? You don't know, do you?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "I pulled that straight out of my ass.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "He's Iwo Jima. I'm planting a flag right on his head.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Oh, shit a shark.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Robust? - Robust.", "c": ["Hessler", "Sue"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Okay, now she just sounds mentally ill.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "I'm guessing you have one of those word-a-day calendars. And I know what the word for today is. It's robust.", "c": ["Hessler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Well, I'm guessing that you think you have a sense of humor, Mr. Hessler. Which you are wrong about, as you are about the calendar. That is my definition of robust.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "It's time to robust a nut all over this place.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Get your own ear, van Gogh.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "There goes the R-bomb.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Stick a thermometer up Washington's ass. See how much heat I just created. - Parting the cheeks.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "What's the opposite of constipated, Mike? - Relieved. - No. Relieved is not the opposite of constipated, Mike.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "VP sister act robusting the moves", "c": ["Newspaper headline"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Sue made it. - Sure. It's there, too.", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Sue only has one name like Pocahontas or Hitler.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Or Moby or Bigfoot.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "What? You're not fucking Sue.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Start popping your popcorn. - Must Sue TV.", "c": ["Cliff", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "It's Gary-oke time. - Gary-oke is done, my friend. It's time for Danny-oke now.", "c": ["Selina", "Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not famous. Well, maybe only in DC. Oh, yeah, me and Kim Kardashian. Ha ha.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Does aggressive trump robust? - Well, it's robustier.", "c": ["Selina", "Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "robust is like a rock and aggressive is like paper. Oh, shoot, paper covers rock.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "His word is 'get-the-vice-president- over-here-right-now-we're-having-a-fucking-meeting.' It's all one word hyphenated.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Oh, I thought you were gonna say diet, Ben.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "And I don't have to answer to you, Ben. Or to Lara Croft here for that matter.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Listen, we all know the White House would work so much better if there wasn't a President, but there is.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Calculated? That sounds so... - Calculated? - Pussy-ass, that's what I was gonna say.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "She fires a gun one time and she thinks she's Rommel in the desert.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "When you do that, I'm gonna start supporting gun control.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Cock-a-noodle-doo.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "He's gonna procrasterbate forever.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "This is the Vice President. - Yes, it is. - No, no, this is the Vice President.", "c": ["Selina", "Cliff"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Set your DVR. I'm thinking of... Okay, you hung up.", "c": ["Cliff"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Amy, this is like explaining gravity to a chicken.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "You have made a fuck-up the size of France and you are fucking grinning about it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "I'm trying not to. I'm not sure why my face is doing this.", "c": ["Cliff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "This is all Cliff's fault, that grinning fucking Ewok.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Well, I feel like that porn star who had to do 200 men in one day. At least she got to lie down, right?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "I'm imagining you in a bathtub full of rose petals.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Think of me as a cheerleader, Mike. - Oh, God. I'm imagining you in a bathtub full of rose petals.", "c": ["Jonah", "Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Did she just make an innuendo? - Yep. Yep.", "c": ["Amy", "Dan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "so help me Brian. - Yes. - I am Brian. - I think you mean, 'So help you God.'", "c": ["Selina", "Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Oh, I wish that was my cousin's name.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "This is the worst small talk I've ever heard. And I'm including mine in that and mine is horrible.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "What in the living Lord of Christ are you doing here?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Well, that's how the cookie crumbles.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "That's great. For us, I mean. 'Cause we're done.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "What's time o'clock? - Time o'clock.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Maybe she's pregnant again. - Oh, God. Or she's menopausal. Oh, God, she's gonna want that testosterone gel. I'm out of here.", "c": ["Dan", "Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "They all leave me eventually.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "The men get the situation room, I get the shituation room?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "This is so awesome. I'll bet you camera three gets a kill.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "George, comments like that are incredibly inappropriate when people's lives are at stake.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Yeah! Eggs-shak-a-laka! In your fucking face, eggs.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Ashes to ashes, robust to dust.", "c": ["Hessler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Yeah! Semper fucking fee. - Fi. - Fi. Fi, right.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Oh, so they were able to just salvage his foot?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "I call that overshadowboxing.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "The leg is just the price of admission to the place you wanted to be.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "Sure, we'll roll out the ramps.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "I guarantee you they're better than my shitty legs. I hate my legs. In fact, if I had the choice...", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Hostages"}, {"t": "What rhymes with majority? Nothing. Come on, you still working on that funny song about the new Speaker? - Give it a break. - Oh, priority. And authority. Sorority. Oh, my God, there's a million words that rhyme with it.", "c": ["Dan", "Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Look where Jonah's coming from. Oh, that grin, the keys. Oh, God. He's been given West Exec parking. Yeah, the holy grail of parking.", "c": ["Dan", "Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Good morning, gentlemen. What a delightful day. I was gonna walk to work, but then... - You got West Exec? - It's just a parking spot, Dan. To be jealous of that, you'd have to be a shallow kind of... I don't know, dick, I guess.", "c": ["Jonah", "Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Look at the size of his coffee mug. Jeez, you could hide a baby in that thing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "You look concerned, but steely. - Yeah. - Like a lady soldier.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Who the hell is religious as a teenager? I was. I mean, smoke some weed, for Christ's sake, right?", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, there are not gonna be any veterans at this teen prayer breakfast thing tomorrow, are there? / No, ma'am. No missing legs.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, God, look at the president. - Jeez, he looks so... - He looks jowly. Ah, look at those cheeks. It's like two little clutch bags attached to his face.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, with the bags. It's always bags with you. Got to get out of the bag zone. Come on, Gary.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Would it be okay if I showed you some ideas I have regarding strategy? No time, Mr. Egan. They're mostly Flash based, but I put them on YouTube. I just said I had no time.", "c": ["Jonah", "Kent"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "We're all being hit by deadlines, right, Mike? Yes, sir. They can swing around and smack you like a boom.", "c": ["Kent", "Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Nothing fancy, but she gets the job done. You know, like a cast-iron skillet or Kevin Bacon.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "That's real man's sailing. Leaning out in the tack, your big man balls dipping in the salty sea.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I have no children and I wish for none, but she's my family.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "You know, I once went powerboating on Lake Erie. Amazing rush.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "You don't talk powerboating to us sailors, Dan. What's the fucking difference?", "c": ["Mike", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Jonah, out. Or else I'll see if my pepper spray works.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "You've already bugged the shit out of everyone else in the building? I'm sorry, what? Say that again. Jonah, out. Or else I'll see if my pepper spray works.", "c": ["Amy", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "13,000. No, 14,500. Is this the amount of times you've admired yourself in the mirror today? No, I'm guessing that's the difference in salary between this job and the one that you just interviewed for.", "c": ["Dan", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Simple makeup, higher neckline. Flats don't go with that dress, which means you probably have heels in your bag. Coffee from corner bakery implying you were at one of the lobbying shops on 18th.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I think he'll be pulling Bon Jovi out of a burning tank in case we all forgot what a fucking war hero he is.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "It looks like I'm tweeting when a guy loses his leg. Yeah, it does, ma'am.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "This is Kent's doing. He's trying to screw me. I'm gonna go stab him. I'm stabbing him.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I'll start running the acid bath.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "This is the photograph? No, just wondering if you think this sweater goes with the dress.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "That's how he looks. That's his face. Why didn't you just take the good one of me, Photoshop it in? I can't airbrush history, ma'am. I'm not Joseph Stalin.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "No, that's true. You don't have a tenth of his charm.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, so now I have to have Dan and Mike, Rodgers and Hammershit, come up with a new song in an afternoon?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "It's a thing women can do, like smelling nice and wrapping gifts.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "What are you laughing about, Jolly Green Jizzface?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I'm a meme ma'am? What are you talking about? Speak English, boy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "If there was a tsunami, you'd be genuinely looking at your phone 'cause you'd be checking the weather.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "No, it's just a meme, ma'am. Not a meme ma'am. And usually they flame out after about 48 hours, but sometimes they blow up and become a super meme like Downfall or Gangnam.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Take all these meaningless syllables with you and just get out.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Okay, yeah, that's a cherry on top of this whole turd cake.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "That would have made people piss in their pants.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "That's not a rhyme. You're just matching a word with the same word.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Comedy songs are the mark of a douchebag. You're wrong. You know why? Three words... Weird Al Yankovic. Shit Al Yankoshit.", "c": ["Dan", "Mike", "Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "He's half robot, half robot. - He's a robot.", "c": ["Dan", "Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "If the first one bombs, people are gonna be sitting out there thinking, 'Shit the bed, we got 49 more of these to go.'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "There was this one girl, smart, who had no interest in me. She wasn't gay either. I checked.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "In college there was only one girl that was interested in me. And it turns out she was actually a lesbian.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Because he'd be happy if I shot him in the face. He would be. I've actually thought about it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "That's like half of what he should have, right?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Just bought Sue for a dollar. Who's next?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I've never eaten with Gary before. I've eaten next to him, but...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Yeah, we hated him long before it was even fashionable to hate him.", "c": ["Dan/Mike"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "This is like a wildlife documentary. Jonah in his natural habitat. He might defecate in a bush.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's just feeling bad. He's... you know, he's sugary. - Yeah. - Or he's not sugary enough.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's got fat wrists. You know?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "You're like an old VCR, but with a bigger mouth.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "You've been following me like Nancy Drew and his butt-sniffing dog", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "But at least when I'm crying about it, I am crying about it in my car in West Wing Exec parking.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I actually wrote it in my diary and stared at it for a full five minutes.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "\u266a Can Dana come along? \u266a - Oh, really? - No. That was a bad idea.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Now, am I getting older or are you getting younger? We're both getting older. That's the third option, of course. That's great stuff.", "c": ["Jim Marwood", "Amy", "Jim"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, they seemed very excited about the possibility of a woman becoming president. Not necessarily you. ( Laughs )", "c": ["Jim Marwood"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Amy, you should stop eating so much. What the fuck are you talking about? You're stress eating.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I mean, I hope I don't have a cat because, believe me, that poor fucker's dead.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I wouldn't want you to become a fat, neurotic freak. Speaking as a friend.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Chung's guy had a face like a Christmas ham.", "c": ["Jim Marwood"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "That isn't impressive at all. - He's just spitting, right?", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Of course, all she had to do was unlock her bedroom door, but thanks anyway.", "c": ["Jim Marwood"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "You just need to keep in mind that I'm not Selina Dion.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "This is imbecilic. You're right. It's asinine. No, keep smiling, Mr. Ryan. I'm smiling falsely. So should you.", "c": ["Kent", "Jim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "You killed better than Chung killed and he's actually killed.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I had to pretend not to like it to Kent while pretending to like it like he was pretending to like it, but he didn't actually like it and I actually really liked it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Ma'am, your song last night made my lips curl. - Uh... ( laughs ) - Upwards.", "c": ["Kent", "Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Uh, no, you don't want me, sir. You do want Dan. - He's great. - I've got a big bounce coming on. I can feel it. I'm like you.", "c": ["Mike", "Dan", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Ma'am. Ma'am, please don't let him take me. I don't want to go to numbers camp. / I can't help you. Just let go. / Please. Please. Let go of me, all right?", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I don't make impressions, ma'am. I've literally lived with people who insist I was never there.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I become Mike, you become an ugly me.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Isn't that great? Would you ever describe a cheese as dusky? Not in a million years, no. I wouldn't do that.", "c": ["Dana", "Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "And they would have made her an offer that she couldn't refuse. Actually, the mafia involvement in the dairy industry is minimal.", "c": ["Selina", "Dana"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Think about it. In 'The Godfather,' no cheese. - Yeah, you're right. - You know I'm right. - Boom! - That's her catchphrase.", "c": ["Dana", "Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "A Lev... a new Leviathan! Isn't that great? Does it have the same layout, honey? Because it took you so long to learn the other one.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina", "Dana"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "\u266a I love my new bag! \u266a I can just sew some new pockets in. That's okay.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "You know, while you're getting to know your own mind, I'm getting to know the rest of you. - ( Laughs ) - And Mama likes. - Excuse me. - Mama like it.", "c": ["Dana", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I won't touch anything. Oops, I just started a war with Iran. - Joke. - That's not even remotely funny.", "c": ["Dana", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, our European visit just got turned into a one-way trip to hell and back. - That's actually a return. - You know what? Could you just shut it just for like two seconds?", "c": ["Selina", "Dana"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I think it's pronounced Georges Denis. I'm not a hick. Screw you, Depardieu.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I just liked the song so much. And I thought you wanted it out there, so I just put it out there.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I just liked the song so much. And I thought you wanted it out there, so I just put it out there.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Get off the plane. What? - Get off of the plane. - Ma'am, we're taxiing. I don't give a shit. Get the fuck off my plane.", "c": ["Selina", "Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "But I didn't even own a car. I just had to sign a two-year lease for the Nissan Cube.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "He should really be on suicide watch. Yeah, make sure he goes through with it.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "I leased a Nissan Cube from you the other day. What are my options if I don't need it anymore? Can I just give that back? No? ( Sighs ) Paper.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Vic Allen Dinner"}, {"t": "Yeah, she's going to apologize to Europe 'cause it's right up there with the bubonic plague and the carpet bombing at Dresden.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Ignore Dan. He's hormonal.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Even Mike doesn't want to be like Mike.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "So while she's in Helsinki, just keep her out of Helsinki.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "She gave me a Leviathan with fewer pockets.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Europhobic? Seriously? What is that supposed to mean? I'm scared of subtitles?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "I do have a summary of the summary that's great.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "It's fucking insane here. It's like a math prison. They rape you with numbers.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Imminent...al.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "You have to pretend that you're charming. It doesn't matter if the jokes are weak, keep it loose. Deliberately bad jokes. It's kind of genius.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Deliberately bad jokes. It's kind of genius.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "J-Rock to come down there and spit some wicked wisdom in your ear", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Don't worry, buddy. I can cover for you. Remember, I lie for a living. Yeah, but you don't do it well and nobody believes you.", "c": ["Mike", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Mate? Yeah, you're a long way from home, mate, too.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "At which point I'll perform a little street magic for you, okay?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Sure we didn't overshoot and land in Russia in the 1950s?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "They will sell nude pics of their grandmothers for a glass of hot beer.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "If Mike were here, we would have spent the entire flight watching him do scratcher lotto tickets going, 'Oh, so close,' every time he lost.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Selina, you looking for 50 ways to leave Helsinki?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Holy shit, grandpa, you probably still get your porn from magazines.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "The national security advisor is running around like he's got eagles flying out of his dick.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "All this melodrama really explains your three divorces.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Well, I'd like to divorce your head from your fucking neck.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Because with your face, when you attempt to be charming, it really does come off as evil.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "It's a small bag. Your hands are large. My dad always said I had lady's hands.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Don't give me that Quaker in a titty bar look.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "I might be the first woman ever to have parallel periods.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Despite your standard-issue hysterical washerwoman reaction, it's really not.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Like what you had before they made you king of the undead.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "We're fucked! Bury me!", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Because no one will feed me?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "And why is it so angry? Because it wants to destroy all of the pigs.", "c": ["Finnish PM"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Finland, you are hefty. That is the wrong word.", "c": ["Selina", "Finnish PM"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Oh, God, you weren't molested by your math teacher, were you?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "I think I caught it on a plane once.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Are you working as a hatcheck girl now?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Christ, I hate knowledge.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "That hasn't happened in Washington since 1835.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "So that song, unlike your career as communications director, will not die.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Oh, here he comes. Virgin Atlantic.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Oh, the tennis player? No. No. I'm joking. I'm joking now.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Danteeksi... 'The Never Ending Sorry.' As opposed to 'story.'", "c": ["Finnish PM"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Are you on antipsychotics or in Helsinki?", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm a fucking laughingstock. If you burst into tears, stay away from this dress.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Shall I put her in an iron mask?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "I believe in Finland bag man is kassi.", "c": ["Finnish PM's husband"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Okay, you need to calm the fuck down, Judge Judy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Cool it, kassi.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Less power than the Mayor of Cleveland.", "c": ["Finnish PM's husband"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Your Secret Service look about as tough as mine. Shall we get them to fight?", "c": ["Osmo"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Shall we get them to fight?", "c": ["Finnish PM's husband"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "He just squeezed my tit like a balloon.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "He looks like a Disney villain.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "You two have been caught with your balls in grandma's mouth.", "c": ["Congressman Furlong"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Screw you and your Confucius grasshopper bullshit, all right?", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Oh, do they know? Laurel and Retardy?", "c": ["Congressman Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Right, Team Fuckup. Yeah, I got my membership card here somewhere. I can't find it.", "c": ["Senator Doyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "This is at least 10 years of Oliver Stone movies. Yeah, not the good ones. Not 'Platoon.'", "c": ["Doyle", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Seriously, when you pulled the pin out, you're supposed to throw the grenade away. You don't stick it up your own freakin' ass.", "c": ["Senator Doyle"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "I apologized less after I banged my brother's fianc\u00e9e.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "That's like a sexual 9/11 in my opinion. Or a sexual Cuban Missile Crisis at the least.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Because of the axis of dick.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "In America we actually call fish chicken of the sea.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "In America we actually call fish chicken of the sea.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "It is a testicle container. Oh, no. Don't feel ashamed, Gary. Because, of course, you're not a ball sack.", "c": ["Finnish PM"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "You're career poison. Do you know that? Jesus, that's why you like sailing, because you're a fucking anchor dragging promising careers down to the bottom of the fucking ocean.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Was that up in the hills or down in the valley?", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Was that up in the hills or down in the valley?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "And you raped my tit. So I'm coming for you 'cause I'm an Angry Bird right now... and you're a pig.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Well, who knew that being sexually assaulted wouldn't be the worst thing to happen in my day, huh?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "I mean, would it be so hard for people not to be assholes? I wouldn't know.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "57 Twitter followers. That's shit for a journalist.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "57 Twitter followers. That's shit for a journalist. Yeah.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "Europe used to be my favorite continent. Now it's not even in my top five.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Helsinki"}, {"t": "She wasn't mocking Europeans. I would say the song was jesty.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Okay, slow down, Leon. Is your blood sugar off? Have a pastry or some herring, okay?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "This isn't 'Meyer the Liar' again. Well, it is now.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "How's Catherine? She's 21. That's great. Yeah, we're having her party tonight.", "c": ["Selina", "Mary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "And stay out of Middle East politics. So two out of three ain't bad.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I'm amazed you can laugh about that. Yes, that's what I do. I'm laughing about it.", "c": ["Mary", "Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "It's like waiting for a biopsy result.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "She did own Brian Earl in negotiations by pretending to faint.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Well, my mom doesn't live in Rome, but she's still a fucking Catholic.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Oh, what do you want, a fucking cake? Look, I can be happy. See? There you go.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I think it's over. Sneezes always come in threes. Have you ever noticed that? Really? Is that so? Oh, well, that was a fourth. So maybe I need to tell you about how counting works, right?", "c": ["Mary", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Gary, deflower the room. There's a sentence I bet you thought you'd never hear.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I'm not good for another four hours.", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Ugh, just because my last name rhymes with liar. How lucky am I that I'm not Selina Mapist or Selina Medophile?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Jesus. You know, if we don't get this done by midnight, we're all gonna turn into ugly sisters and get eaten by wolves or whatever the fuck happens at the end of that story.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Either way, just blur the fuck out of it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I think he's nervous. His voice sounded clammy.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "It's good that you'll have sex soon.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Version two-- Mary King steals peace pipe, breaks it in half, shits all over it.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I mean, he just fluffs ya, and then he fucks ya. Yeah. Well, speaking of... Oh, yeah, that's a perfect example.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Yeah, they had crazy intercourse.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah. He's like a belly dancer with a hammer.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "She's calling him Andy instead of Andrew. It's starting.", "c": ["Dan", "Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "It's so weird. It's like a cat on a hot tin dog.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be the sexiest woman to ever exude fiscal prudence. And you know what? That's a very fucking tough look to pull off.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Um, fair warning, I party pretty hard. You should see me dance. I can't be controlled. I do a lot of pelvic thrusts. Just very localized dancing. Very small orbits.", "c": ["Ed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I was like the Hunter S. Thompson of bar mitzvahs.", "c": ["Ed"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "We-- we-- we-- we-- we met in... in Bumfuck, Idaho, I think it was. DC. Yes, yes. That's what I like to call DC as a joke.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Hey, buddy, don't worry that she didn't remember you, okay? It's only 'cause you're a nonentity.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I mean, don't you think that you and your friends would call this whole thing an epic succeed?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Remember that one time when you said you were way into 'Twilight' and I thought you meant the time of day? It really is the most dangerous time for traffic, though.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Mom, you've invited the House Majority Leader to my birthday party? Yeah, sweetheart, it's the 100 billion cutoff. You've heard about that? Of course I've heard about that.", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Don't you think that you and your friends would call this whole thing an epic succeed?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Thank you, Rahim. You drink alcohol? Yes, ma'am. Oh, you Iranians are full of surprises.", "c": ["Selina", "Rahim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Some gibberish. I can't understand him.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "You plus 10'd yourself here? Number crunchers to help you finish the deal. Yeah. And one of them is a designated driver because I am going to get fucked up.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "You look so good, you're like a work of art. You make this stuff look like shit. Compared to you, that Monet is a piece of shit.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Feeling up all the mermaids. They should cover up if they don't want it. If they don't want action, they shouldn't advertise.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Are you gonna propose? What would your answer be? My answer would be Jesus fucking Christ.", "c": ["Selina", "Andrew"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Well, technically, ma'am, he had the palm of your hand in his hand.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Gary, you just called me sweetie. Oh, my God! I'm sorry. That's what I call Dana. Did you ever call Dana ma'am? I did once and it was awful.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "If I were drunk right now, would you kiss me? Yeah. No, Gary, I'm kidding. Right. Yeah.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Something sex my dick trick? Did you say dick? Sex your dick trick. I don't understand what you just said.", "c": ["Mary", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "You know, you look great in an art gallery 'cause you kind of are a work of art. I mean, I know I'd like to nail you up against a wall. No, that was knowing. I was being knowing.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I cannot stand teenage girls. Were you ever one? Never. Me neither.", "c": ["Mary King", "Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I wonder how much vodka we'd need to have to have a little Mrs. Robinson moment. That is extremely disrespectful. What are you talking about? That's like the highest compliment you can give somebody.", "c": ["Mike", "Ed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Yeah, antibiotics. Just keeping fresh. I'm not mentally ill if that's what you're implying.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "And I think sometimes we need to just take time. Not long at all. I mean, maybe 10 minutes or-- okay, or maybe 15 is also good. I'm gonna suggest that we have a little constructive talking time.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "So do you have any sort of chillaxing kind of music?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Monsters. It's like first Princess Diana, now this.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "You know, as people say, if it rhymes, it chimes. Who says that? No one says that. I'm pretty sure I heard someone say that.", "c": ["Mike", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Yeah, tell me about it. And I'm swimming in it and I'm breathing it in through my snorkel.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Kind of like sitting next to my mother after Thanksgiving dinner.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "This is not flirting. This is like as subtle as putting a nude photo on Facebook.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "I heard whining and I assumed I needed to apologize.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Jonah, you're not even a man. You're like an early draft of a man where they just sketched out a giant mangled skeleton, but they didn't have time to add details like pigment or self-respect. You're Frankenstein's monster if his monster was made entirely of dead dicks.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Smile, you stupid asshole. Make it bigger. There you go.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "You're a stupid fucking prick. Right? You say it. I'm not gonna say that.", "c": ["Selina", "Andrew"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Fuck POTUS. Right? And fuck Kent. They're just a bunch of fuckers.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Jesus fucking Christ. Here. Take that. Carrot cake's good. You want to try it? Nope. It's all yours. I can use my phone to cut it.", "c": ["Gary", "Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Andrew"}, {"t": "Did I hear the VP scream? No, that was me. And it was a shout.", "c": ["Gary", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "That was a man's voice? Yeah, 'cause I'm a man. I have a man's voice.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Keith stays, right? What? Keith. He's skinny like a skeleton.", "c": ["Unknown", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Gary, the Secret Service is calling you Girly Shirley Temple.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Sue crying and saying 'I need a moment' when furloughed", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "He's like Spock. He doesn't show his emotions. Ever? Ever? No, not even then.", "c": ["Mike", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Dan only laughed when security guy fell off Segway, followed by 'Is laughter an emotion?'", "c": ["Amy", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Network the bejesus out of me. I want people to be sick of the sight of my face.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Both: Roger Furlong. Thought that, too. So obvious, Furlong.", "c": ["Gary", "Amy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Wow, it's like anal leakage.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Somebody bring me the chinless head of Roger Furlong.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Get rid of it. Refuse it. / Okay, look, if the VP did have a window, it'd be a high one and she'd push you out of it.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "You're pregnant? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I did not mean that.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Pickle me eels and tickle me belly 'cause I am off to merry London Town for a right fuckabout, eh?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "It is a city where women are literally drunk all day. And I am going to mind their gaps, my friend.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Well, cum-for-brains, the government is shut down, so all the passport offices are closed.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Where's Sue? Where's Sue? Who's the new Sue? Me.", "c": ["Jonah", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "See, this is the problem with high-definition. You don't want to see a dick in hi-def.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "What? I'm not overpaid. I'm independently wealthy. All right? Sorry.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Ma'am, the stench at your home is gone. Thanks to me.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "uppity princess in her perfumed palace", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Wait, how am I gonna know which bags are yours? Do you want to let me know some of the things that are in the bags?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Awkward silence and door closing after Gary's question", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we've been having lunch and then we've been having sex. And not really cards so much. Just, you know, just, like, sex.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "You dump him overboard like the toxic waste he is. / Come on, Amy. It is just so good. / Okay, then you see... see where it goes. / No, I have to end it. / Yeah. But I can't.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "I don't actually have to touch the trash, do I? Yes, you've got to embrace it.", "c": ["Jonah", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Are you threatening me, Pez head? Because we got a compactor that takes shit and turns it into cubes.", "c": ["Mr. Walker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Why don't you offer to blow him over by the recycled glass? It would throw up some interesting light effects. That would be romantic, wouldn't it?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "They get so hot for it, I call it the Wet Wing. / Okay, that's disrespectful. / It's a building, Gary. It doesn't have feelings. / It has a spirit. / No, it doesn't.", "c": ["Jonah", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Vice president applauds shit compaction.", "c": ["Mr. Walker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I'm just talking about the 1970s. / I'm not. I was thinking of the 18th century.", "c": ["Selina", "Speaker"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Slide to unlock. Selina Meyer is a feisty operator and a fine VP.", "c": ["Speaker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "'Slide to unlock' - Speaker reading phone screen instead of presidential quote", "c": ["Speaker"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Fine and successful are synonyms. / You're grasping at straws. / I'm not grasping for straws.", "c": ["Selina", "Speaker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "If you die within the next six years, I will be attending your funeral and giving a eulogy when POTUS sends me there in his stead. And it is gonna be full of subtext. Chock-full of subtext.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Well, I look forward to that. Oh, wait, I'll be dead.", "c": ["Speaker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "So what you're saying is your career has stalled. So now you and your slack pussy want to make big bucks as an oil lobbyist, right?", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Great. I'm gonna have the most expensive starter, the most expensive entr\u00e9e, and a $200 bottle of champagne. / I think I'm gonna keep it light. I'm gonna go chicken salad and a Diet Coke. / Nonsense. Give him exactly what I'm having. And we will split the champagne. It's our first date.", "c": ["Sidney", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Or he tried to fuck the bear. Like Grizzly Adams. / Enjoying yourselves? / We were. / Are you laughing at the violent death of a young man? / Yeah, pretty much.", "c": ["Mike", "Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "There's not a happy bear in show business. Or he tried to fuck the bear.", "c": ["Unknown", "Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Forgot my noise-cancelling headphones. Guess what I just heard. I'm not here. Ergo, my ears aren't here either.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "This ass is closed for business. This ass is in clench-down. I don't want to be a decoy. Let the president take it in the ass. He might like it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Here, the VP will be the lobster. Amy, greens. We'll call Mike carrots. Dan, you can be shrimp. Do you see what I did there, Dan? I made you shrimp.", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Boy, I just wish I ordered a plate of useless assholes. But you go to war with the army you have, right?", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Well, tap your ruby slippers together and wake the fuck up. There is no job, Dorothy.", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "So why don't you take your little vanilla Thriller dance over to Danny Chung? He's the shiny turd rising to the top of the bowl right now.", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "When I said fault, I meant that it wasn't your husband's fault because bears are naturally hungry. Does that make sense? Hello? Hello?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Oh, please. Please. You think this is bad? Wait till you get to London. Everything smells like urine. Even the food.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "The Chinese invented pizza. / No, they didn't. / Yeah, they did.", "c": ["Roger", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "That's as much a fact as Will's impotence. / I don't think that's appropriate. / He doesn't mind. Do you, Will? / Whatever works, sir.", "c": ["Roger", "Selina", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "I would have guessed Old Maid. / Want to play Go Fish? / Sure.", "c": ["Roger", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Yeah, you can start calling me the Hurty Dirty Man. / Yeah, I'm not gonna call you that. / All right. / I'm not.", "c": ["Roger", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "It's like a sudden monsoon in Goa, sir. / Sudden monsoon. They predict those things weeks in advance, you idiot.", "c": ["Will", "Roger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "I know, it's hard to believe that they have female FBI agents. / Oh! / I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. / I love that kind of misogyny. / I love misogyny like that. / Yeah, it's the best kind.", "c": ["Roger", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "We're gonna be the shitty Sopranos.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "It's bigger than your mother's womb and you were in there till you were 15. / Oh, my God.", "c": ["Sue", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "But heroes don't get to choose, they get chosen.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Oval Office ordering a pizza and an air strike. Thin crust, extra warheads.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "You know, I didn't realize how good I was at this job until someone else did it so badly. / Different isn't bad. / No, bad is bad.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Gary, they don't even walk on the moon anymore. They're basically a bunch of nerds who work in a hangar.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "'Gary, they don't even walk on the moon anymore. They're basically a bunch of nerds who work in a hangar.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Go, period, fuck, period, yourself, exclamation point.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Oh, you helped with the... with the garbage? Yeah, I helped with the garbage.", "c": ["Selina", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "So Sue's the new Gary and you are still the Amy. / Yeah. / Yeah.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "She is furloughing indiscriminately into the crowd.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Oh, well, what could possibly go wrong?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "That's precisely what I want to do, Dan. / Good. / Oh, okay, then, yes. Exactly.", "c": ["Selina", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "Ma'am, I-I just shovel it. I don't account for it.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Shutdown"}, {"t": "She's kind of a lightweight now... She's a dud.", "c": ["Dan", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "You're a fraud and a liar, ma'am. Wow. What? What are you doing? I'm hitting you.", "c": ["Dan", "Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "It's conservative and desperate at the same time.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "There's the bluff puff which we're gonna start out with... Then we switch right over to rough puff. Nobody does rough puff like you. Rrr. Give me that rough puff.", "c": ["Janet", "Producer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "He is moving a legless horse.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "I'm taking this really cool class where we sort of debate current issues through movement.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Looks like I'm masturbating if I got my hands in my pockets.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Put the blanket over it, or is that too FDR?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "'Cause I feel like I fell into a well or something and it's hurting my neck.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Well, I took my ex down to the river and I tried to smash his head in with a rock and then drown--", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, am I interrupting a team prayer meeting?", "c": ["Cody Marshall"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "We're just doing a height thing. It was nothing.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "she's wearing a bluish dress like she vomited flowers all over herself", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "She's kind of a frumpy librarian.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Just drag her in with the kindness, then turn great white and start taking chunks out of her. She's not much of a meal.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "That's right. I think you've grown since then. Either that or you've gotten shorter.", "c": ["Selina", "Janet"], "jt": ["observational", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "No, it's me. I've got heels on. Well, anyway, I'm so happy you're here.", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "So you found the joint okay.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "The three of them were excellent, so no pressure.", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "We're talking about the building, right? Because I'm original.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Many of the objay-ects-- objects", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "To see spies. If only, right?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "This is a bell.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "This is some old shit by somebody, I don't know who it is.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "I hate this house, to tell you the truth. It's like living in a doll's jail.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "But that looks like I have a stomachache.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Yeah, let me just pull that out of my ass. It's DC. You can find someone willing to open their ass on a Sunday.", "c": ["Lighting tech"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "It's DC. You can find someone willing to open their ass on a Sunday.", "c": ["Crew member"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Sadly, I don't have a lot of time to read fiction.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "No, I am hoping to get the box set for Christmas, though.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Jesus, you might as well cut out eyeholes and peer through a fucking newspaper. What the fuck are you doing? It's 'Apocalypse Now.'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Andrew's fucking us again. He's screwed us in all known dimensions.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "He's political poison. He's political--", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "And then there's one of those winking emoticons at the bottom there.", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "We're not telepathically linked. He can't read my mind.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Ow! Whoa! Okay, my ears are my livelihood. You don't need to--", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "When I invited you here to the residence to fuck me, I didn't mean this.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "How easy is it for the Vice President of the United States of America to get some casual sex, hmm? I'm convenient.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "That's right, I am the Vice President of the United States and I choose now not to fuck you anymore.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Oh, Andrew's been veep-fucking? You knew about this?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "We don't have a front door in our attic like in some sort of Dr. Seuss book or something.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Okay, this is a category five shit storm. She's over. She's done. I'm gone.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Once a week we get together for a gab and a gobble.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Knock, knock, J Rock is in the-- Whoa, whoa, whoa.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "I give great talking head.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Janet, it's like when you loosen a pickle jar and somebody comes by and they just open it. This is the shutdown lid loosener. The pickle jar loosener.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "I don't need a peeler. Thank you. Yeah, you need a peeler. Actually, I don't.", "c": ["Andrew", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Well, you probably have so much staff in and out of here-- No, no, no. I know this kitchen like the back of my hand. Oh, that's not it. Okay, I don't know where-- This is maddening.", "c": ["Janet", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "I'm not here. Okay, you're not here. I'm so sorry. I'm talking to myself. Where are you, peeler?", "c": ["Janet", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Are you working for the vegetable lobby?", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "You never told me that you were a vegetarian. I told you three months ago. No, you didn't, Catherine.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "You swallowed chicken your entire life. You're gonna do it again today. I swallowed your bullshit my entire life.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "With all due respect, this is not news. This is the fucking Food Channel you got here. Okay, well, with all due respect, fuck you.", "c": ["Amy", "Janet"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Although not a great parent, admittedly. Well, actually, he did okay with his own kids. It's when other kids got involved that it got real dicey. But, no, then he did dangle that one from a great height.", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "If you'd just let someone get close enough to fuck some sunshine into you, you'd shut your mouth!", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Look, I've graphed her performance, okay? Look at this. Look at this nice little graphic. Here's time, here's her fucking career.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Amy, when my memaw used to find herself getting snappy, she would sing her favorite song. \u266a Oh, I wish I were in the land of cotton \u266a", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "White water rafting. - Italy. - Disneyland. - Which is it? - No, honey, we didn't ever go to Disneyland. - Oh, no, you didn't take me. Rosa took me with her family. - Who's Rosa? - She was a... - She was... - housekeeper.", "c": ["Andrew", "Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Who's Rosa? She was a... She was... housekeeper. Housekeeper, that's right. You spent a lot of time with your housekeeper?", "c": ["Janet", "Andrew", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "How about this? How about I lift up my dress, give everyone a big fat shot of my cooch?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Like a medley from 'Okla'-fucking-'homa'?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "No, no, no. This way, I get a Christmas and a birthday present off of each of them.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Calling Tel Aviv now.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Because in politics, a backbone and a heart are only as good as your ears. And my ears are my livelihood.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "I spewed out so much bullshit, I'm gonna need a mint. A fucking mint.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "it's like a victory fuck? He better come down.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "First Response"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm not sorry. I'm not sure why I just said that.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I mean, I lied and everything, but it sounded true, at least.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I can run that thing in a suit of armor.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I'll go kiss some hateful billionaire ass on my own.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Give them all donor boners.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I was only, like, suicidal for a week. Huh?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "He's got a cave full of bats in his skull.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "One of Gaddafi's sons. They're polling better.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Blow the opening day pitch out of your ass?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "We are at DEFCON fuck.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Sidney Purcell, talking to him, it's like being stuck in a sewer pipe filled with dead rats.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "This is a political prick tease today.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "And we're about to meet a bunch of pricks.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "My campaign launchpad is going to be made of solid fucking gold.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Ovaries in the Oval Office!", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.44, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "The West Womb!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Gary's awkward explanation of what a womb is", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Oh, pathetic.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "The Young Chungers.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "It's like you think in hashtags.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "The Granny Chungs.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "You're young, you're hip, you're hop.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Look, I have no idea who that is, so, no.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "No, no, and no.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I think it's in a cloud.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Chung will reenlist and hopefully get himself killed.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Duchess is down.", "c": ["Martin", "Secret Service"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "It's not a terrorist.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Don't move. We're gonna have to cut your clothes off you.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I was fine because I was drunk.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "She's stuck on a call with the Australian ambassador.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Oh, that's good. I've never heard that one before.", "c": ["Sidney Purcell"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "No, it's not, actually, but you get marks for trying.", "c": ["Sidney Purcell"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "That aspiration is to one day hope to dream together.", "c": ["Danny Chung"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Like catching your sister's eye at an orgy.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Well, my sister would never be at an orgy. Too uptight. She would want health records from everyone and just kill the momentum...", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Don't they both die?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "That woman has become a living metaphor of her own career.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I feel like one of those old used footballs that they fixed up for the kids at an orphanage.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Unless you want to go down there and sing them a chorus of Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee, you can't go downstairs.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I guess we just follow the trail of her blood and Gary's tears.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I think I got that off a Catholic schoolgirl once.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I'll be back.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "That would solve all of my validation issues with my dad.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "God, I hope Iran drops a nuke on DC.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "He's like an undead cockroach with his... it's true. He's got that blank look. I bet he doesn't even have a come face.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Can you imagine fucking that guy?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "In the southern hemisphere, the bullshit actually flows the other way.", "c": ["Sidney Purcell"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I guess it's funny because we've all done it at one point.", "c": ["Man at event"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I pushed someone through a plate glass door once. That was fucking hilarious.", "c": ["Different man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "That's your liaison d'\u00eatre?", "c": ["Sidney Purcell"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I was born to liaise, sir.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "You know that they call me Jonad?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "That is tantamount to calling the President Jonad.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "He's the President, you're Jonad.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Now go earn your name change.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I got lost in the double negative, sir. What?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "She's out of her fucking mind.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Everyone's gonna find out she walked through a glass door, Dan, because she looks like she walked through a fucking glass door.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "So are mushrooms, dipshit.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I'll give you all of it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Look, she is fuckin' high right now.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Turning her into Julie Andrews.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "You just broke his brain, Amy.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Jesus, look at his stupid gaping mouth. Let's put stuff in it.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "You called me Andrew.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I can even say your name the other way... Haney.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Gotta say, I think I handled that pretty well.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "There's something so sexy about being in a hotel in the middle of the day, right?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Yep, four people to one toilet. You can hear everything that hits the water.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "No berets, no Stetsons, no beanies...", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Why are you just listing hats?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Yeah, in 700 days of working with us, you've been right once.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "And, um, the only thing that's really hurt is my pride.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Oh, no, that's a fucking wire brush to my hemorrhoids.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Fix it, or I'll liaise your balls to your desk.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I love cartoons.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "That doesn't even look like the Leviathan.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Seriously, I am totally overqualified for this job.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I changed the 'hallelujah' to 'jalape\u00f1o.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "You're the world's biggest single-cell organism.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Like Sophie's Choice choices, except more important because it's gonna be about me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "He couldn't tell the difference between real glass and air either.", "c": ["Amy/Dan"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Did we warn her one of the Get Moving ambassadors was a one-legged veteran?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "A win-win by losing. That's good.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Oh, come on. Don't be so hard on yourself, Gary.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Burn all the White House pets and then yourselves. Burn yourselves first.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Those are contradictory orders.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "What's up, you fuckin' Lorax?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Oh, God, this zipper is like a cheese grater on my dick.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I'm surprised he gets to work without being hit by a car or punched in the mouth.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "We can't have you in a photo finish with a banana.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "It's a caption contest waiting to happen.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I smell like a hobo's craphole.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Hey, Mike, I have some sort of hazy memory of me promising to buy your boat.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "That's like trying to have sex with somebody who's passed out.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "What? I thought your parents were dead.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I can't be running off to shindigs put on by the parents of people on my staff.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I've just always assumed that they were dead.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "I thought you were adopted.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Running"}, {"t": "Oh, God. I hate impeachments. They're so '90s.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Oh, these lips are on lockdown. Right. You don't know. No, I just have a 'don't ask don't tell' policy about the things that I know. Or that I don't know.", "c": ["Jonah", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You need to fuck off and go back to Westworld.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Three fucks, you're out.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Ma'am, you have my deepest, deepest sympathies. Okay, well, I'm not dead.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Can you please tell Governor Chung that Dan Egan is ready for the Chung chat?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Still, this might mean that we could spend more time together. Let's take it one day at a time.", "c": ["Amy", "Ed"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "The father figure my own dad was too weird and distant to be.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You know, you're gonna get bedsores.", "c": ["Kosynski"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "They call me the Washington Flash. I doubt that.", "c": ["Will", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "I move as slowly as a Mississippi detective investigating the murder of a young black man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Wish I could break his spine. But I can't, 'cause it's made of Jell-O.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Are you finishing my sentence or are you telling me that again? Both.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You're like a Viking stuck in time.", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "No, I'm being serious, too. I'd like to fuck her.", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Why'd you leave anyway? You get stuck with your dick in the veep's decaf?", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Why don't you fucking kill yourself, Will?", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "No, I'm Joan fucking Rivers. Of course I'm serious.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "While in your mind you're doing pirouettes on his grave.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Well, it's not the job that's depressing. Life is depressing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "(suppressed squeal) Yes! Fuck! Gosh!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You do and Secret Service might break your neck. That would be a tragedy.", "c": ["Sue", "Furlong"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm burning calories with the old anxiety diet. Oh. You know, the anxiet.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "If you want to get some cardio exercise, you have to have a heart.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Oh, I heard it from the Gingerhead Man. The gash with the stash. McLintock.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Mike sees knowledge as the enemy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "It's like saying flammable or inflammable. It's the same thing. I smell a fucking rat.", "c": ["Selina", "Furlong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Then we'll find out whether it's flammable or inflammable. Come on, Wilbo Faggins, let's go.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You like to have sex and you like to travel? Yes, ma'am. Then you can fuck off.", "c": ["Selina", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Like the mighty oak that stands for-- ma'am.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Selina Meyer, she deals 'em fire. Bam! Boom! Let's go to the fucking moon!", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "I was this close to living on my boat.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Can you give me some time with my core team? Um, Br-- Br- Ed. Bre-- Ed. Of course.", "c": ["Selina", "Ed"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "They're celebrating because you weren't in there.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "They're celebrating because you weren't in there.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Did you say a number? Currently four.", "c": ["Selina", "Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Wait a minute. You're choosing dead milk over me?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Like I'm Marilyn Monroe, just JFK the fuck out of me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Hey, quit being so hot. You're gonna melt all my cheese.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You look like you did when I asked you to talk dirty. You were just like, 'I'm in you right now.'", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You're on the good ship Pecorino now.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "It's like I'm her central nervous system.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Honey, she'll get another bag bunny, I just know it.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "What the fuck is wrong with you, Brett? This is not a big place, is it? It's not a big place.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You, Chief of Staff to the president, me, chief of sexiness and spooning.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Yeah, it's like a noun-verb gumbo.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Why don't you change America to Shmamerica?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "It's an ant kibbutz.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Well, from up here, they look like ants. That's a joke. Because they are ants.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You're at a science fair. One of these kids could build you a charger.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "So now our spineless, flip-floppy fuckbag is staying.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "I've got to get out of here before I set fire to one of these nerds.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "(Spanish accent) 'Mr. Ching, I come to America to work. I send money home, but life here is so hard for me.'", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Jesus, the inside of his head must be like an Escher drawing.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "See this right here? You know what this is? This is me playing 'Fuck You' on the world's biggest cello.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "If I had a dollar for every time you mentioned that goddamn war, I would buy a tank and I would blow your fat fucking head off.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "That's Washington, DC, for you. DC-- District of Cunts.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "We're like Area 51 except more restricted.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Information-wise, I am becalmed.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You've got to mello yellow. Don't tell me not to panic.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Everybody can just shut the shit up.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Has he been miniaturized?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Is it Bring a Disparate Person to Work Day?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Selina is about to get a Potal bullet through the head and you are all about to be unemployed and homeless.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "You're the secretary to the vice president. That's like being Garfunkel's roadie, okay?", "c": ["Ed"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "I mean, it was just, you know, RIP-OTUS. Just complete sinking shit.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "And so it begins. Yeah, with a kick to the tits.", "c": ["Amy", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "I think that the president should only have her staff here. Or his staff. You know, their staff.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Was your mom plagiarizing the Bible when she said, 'Oh, God, oh, God'?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Oh, no, you don't. You want to be president.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Oh, no, you don't. You want to be president.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "D.C."}, {"t": "Is that a Star Wars reference, 'A New Beginning'? Our Next American Journey.", "c": ["Unknown staffer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Too late to change it? It is. Yeah.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I call it Some New Beginnings because it's plural.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I would hate to be that local Iowa guy that's gotta take care of her, trying to source gazpacho in a city that thinks soup is for fags.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Man, you guys should all marry Wendy. I feel amazing.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Would you like me to mold the cake into a pair of testicles for you, Gary?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Yeah, dream the fuck on, Dan. I'm only being nice to you because I know that Selina's gonna make me the campaign manager.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Unless POTUS is chiseling his fucking statement out of marble, I don't get it.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You have more nervous tics than a shoe-bomber.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "If it melted, would it become Texas?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You know, butter doesn't need to be refrigerated. It can be unrefrigerated or refrigerated. That's not true. I think it's like a fruit that way. No.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Well, whatever it is, I'm hearing the West Wing is abuzz like a fly in a shithouse.", "c": ["Unknown reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.14, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Either you put your phone in the phone bowl or I put it in the punch bowl.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Isn't she funny? We crack up all the time. Even when we're having sex.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You guys, I've been a reporter for 18 years. If anything breaks, I promise I will put it into the vows.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "It's like losing a limb. I can feel a phantom phone ringing right now.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "He does bring baby wipes everywhere. You never know if we're gonna need 'em when we...", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Amy, a good campaign manager always has to think one phone ahead.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Yes, and I likewise am disappointed that you have not. Amateur.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Hey, Richard, no offense... None taken. ...you're a catastrophe. Okay.", "c": ["Dan", "Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Then you got married. And I love that story.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Oh, it's no problem. You're in Iowa, and, you know, you have to suckle Iowa.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm Joe Public here. I know nothing. And I don't like that feeling.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Uh, ladies and gentlemen, the Vice President has to step out for a moment to take a phone call with a senator. He's having a big problem. It's...", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I am but a satellite caught in the gravity of your planet, Wendy.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I was headed for the fall when you, Michael, gave me back my spring.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "My official statement to the press reads thus, 'We are in love, come celebrate.'", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "We are in love, come celebrate.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Stand aside, asshole.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You catch more flies with honey than with bad language. Get out of the way, or I'll fucking inhale you.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Do you have a preference on water? Because I'm all about Fiji.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "God, he was a 4'11\" stick of dynamite. A great man inside a small man.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Stick one of those in Ricky's hand, he would have looked like an average-sized man.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I got a jet here that could cut a fucking diamond.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "'Lifting the lid on the Inter-agency Softball League'? 'Face to Face with America's Wind Tycoons.' Wow. This is some seriously butter knife-dull shit, man.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "If it ain't on WestWingMan, it ain't no thing, man.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Now if you will excuse me, I am at a wedding, and women at a wedding are like ripe fruit ready to drop. And I am a sex wasp.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? My pheromones make bitches moan. I'm gonna leave a trail right back to my apartment.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Look at us. You pretending to be me signing a book I didn't even write. That's politics in a nutsack.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "It's so full of shit, there's a colon right smack-dab in the middle.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Like, Footsteps to the Future was one. Red, White and You was actually another one. Yes Hands of Our Children.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "What? It's like a massacre or something. Fuckin' sick.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Eighteen months is an entire pregnancy with another entire pregnancy tacked onto the end of it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You know, get my hands dirty? I could be your midwife.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You know, I heard that dog picked him up and shook him really bad.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Jonah, what's the point? You don't show up in photographs.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Shit on my tits. Maddox just resigned.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I hate how he learned English from pornography.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Stop flapping your vestigial limbs around.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "FYI, it may not be his real name.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I was voted Most Likely To Do Something Now in my class yearbook.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "The closest you'll get to a political career will be selling Nixon masks at a Halloween shop, okay?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Just open the door while we're moving, climb under the car like Indiana Jones, pop up on the hood and write a note on the windshield.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I got about a half inch for you. You exaggerate.", "c": ["Mike", "Wendy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You guys are just like two little pretty Easter eggs. I'd love to crack you open.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "It's a hashtag hurricane, bitch tits.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You don't think you should go fist a chimp?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "What's Google's number? I don't know. Ask Jeeves.", "c": ["Jonah", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "He's the bubonic fuckin' plague of this party.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I kinda wish it was me in that box.", "c": ["Blake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "The prime minister of Scotland is on the line right now.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Leave. But I work here. Not anymore.", "c": ["Secret Service", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "There is a dead guy in the pool, and that dead guy is you.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "The West Wing is part of my DNA and vice verse.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "That bag of wrist slits got the nomination?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You think I got here just 'cause I got $50 million in the bank and this amazing ass?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "In fact, I was gonna say 'short,' but I know how sensitive Rick was about his height.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "You think you've seen the end of Jonah Ryan? You haven't even seen the start of Jonah Ryan!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I'm leaving here with my head held high and my nuts hanging low on your mom's chin, Martin.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "And when he got that first bite, whoa, did he reel it in.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Jonah Ryan, 2026! That's a mid-terms year, Jonah. Well, then, I'll change it!", "c": ["Jonah", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Well, I blew the fuckin' roof off of this church, didn't I? They loved that beer labels anecdote.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I'm never ambiguous, ma'am. Not even sexually.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Well, all my orgasms have come at once.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "Oh, Jesus Christ. I hate politics.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "This is the best day of my life!", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "I was gonna say 'baldly,' but I know how sensitive Mike is about his hair.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "'Some New Beginnings: Their Next American Journey'!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Some New Beginnings"}, {"t": "We put a penny in a jar every time we have sex. We've already got like 15 in there.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be a guy in his 40s carrying a bag.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "When did you get your dad's face?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Ma'am, I'm going to follow you wherever you go. I'm going to be like a Disney animal.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "You said he was really good on the book tour. No, I was trying to keep you from worrying about me.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Kelly and I go way back. She's like another me.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "The only laundering you're gonna be doing from now on is gonna be prison blankets.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "That's like trying to bang the widow at the funeral.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "No matter how dumb they are.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Let's go. The coasts won't guard themselves.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "You just gonna sit there, 'SpongeBob'?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "The edible garbage is out back in the alley.", "c": ["Mike's friend"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "We put a penny in a jar every time we have sex. We've already got like 15 in there. - 17? - 17.", "c": ["Mike", "Wendy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "A PAC-quisition, huh?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "DC insider turns DC outlaw, energizing democracy, taking from the powerful and giving to the pitiful.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Remember that random dude who used to hang out on our street asking Mom for money? - That was Mike.", "c": ["Mike's friends"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "No, it's just a shame they couldn't arrest someone a little more photogenic.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Fuck the swords. POTUS just announced that he's now pro-life.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "They're already calling him 'PRO-TUS,' which is stupid because both sides have 'pro' at the start.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "You're listing trimesters. Stop it!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "I got it chemically relaxed. It was enormously painful.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Sue, apologies. We will continue our pleasant chat at a later date. Abortion calls.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "This is the unflushable turd that is left in the can for the next person... e.g., me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "If men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at an ATM.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "I can't get POTUS to wave his transvaginal wand and make it all go away.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "I can't identify myself as a woman. People can't know that. Men hate that.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "And women who hate women hate that... which I believe is most women, don't you agree with that?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "You let that unstable piece of human scaffolding into your house?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Sorry, that's just pastel-colored shit.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "I can't listen to that 'Joan Crawford' bitch about 'Bette Davis' any longer.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "What, like a woman's door? - A back door? No. A trapdoor?", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Old media like 'The Washington Toast' better go run and hide in the bathroom and join 'The Poo York Times.'", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "And now that the president's given his 'State of the Uterus' address...", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Get the government out of my fuckin' snatch, you know?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "If men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at an ATM.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "I'm not putting my eggs in that basket.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "It would take a brain about this size to think that's this shit's useful.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Boom, boom, shake-shake the womb!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "It's like listening to Jupiter.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "We've literally said nothing. Meanwhile, that shit shovel-faced fuckin' Jonah is telling people you're feeling out options.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "You want to put it on a T-shirt? Come on!", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "I was clear. We just need to pick a fucking number, any fucking number. Give that fucking number to the fucking press, and go to fucking bed! How much more clarity do you need? You want to put it on a T-shirt? Come on!", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "I accept your apology while retaining the right to fire the fuck out of you.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Shall I print that up on a T-shirt that I could give to you?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Look, I love abortion, okay? I am an abortionado.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "But I would go pro-life in a fetal fucking heartbeat if it meant winning.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Here's something else to sew into your giant fucking crazy quilt.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Okay, so now the phones have taken a vow of silence.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "This is what we call the 'grub hub.'", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "God, the lighting is so unflattering. Can I ask you a question? Are you hiding from someone?", "c": ["Cardinal Branzini"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Aren't we all hiding from somebody?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Your right to choose, Amy.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "You need to quit this job and find something you're halfway decent at.", "c": ["Cunningham"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "They should be called 'Puff Ho' 'cause Arianna Huffington is a straight-up ho and all they do is puff pieces.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "We're going to need a bigger melon.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "'22 and a half weeks' sounds like an erotic thriller", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "'Me-Too Meyer,' 'Shit for Brains...' No, I'm sorry, they won't say that. I'm just really tired.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "I wonder who should be my campaign strategist in the next election. 'I don't know.'", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "You're not my boss. We're copartners. I don't give a fuck.", "c": ["Jonah's partner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "If you say anything on-air about the Veep, I will break your legs so severely, you'll end up normal height.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "Joke's on you, Dan, because I fucking love burritos.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "These issues are like a prism. They have many sides.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "A big, fat, morbidly obese nothing.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "You are always gonna be my bodyman. Yeah. Especially when I'm president.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "I can put this in balls. Little watermelon balls in a bowl?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "The Choice"}, {"t": "And who wears fake heels at breakfast time?", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Some curb-crawlin' asshole", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "My website is Ryantology.net and I'm a storyteller", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I'm like John Steinbeck in that regard... or Denzel Washington", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Tell me your story. Question mark.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I was kinda Amy's boss at the time. It got complicated. But she's basically a good kid.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Just sittin' on the co'ner", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Hello. Do you like Power Rangers?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Do you want to look like Alice Cooper?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "My second marriage took place in the rain. You can see my nipples in all the photos.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Gettysburg, Mount Sinai... the speech I made in Philadelphia three weeks ago.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "That was inside, ma'am.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "She's got one of the 'normals' here.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Space is bold, but safe at the same time. There are no votes in space. There's nothing there.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Alicia Keys?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I'm in the middle of a lot of shit right now, so I'm hanging up.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Children are of no value. Forget child care.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Children are vital, Kenny Rogers. We're not all planning to die alone like you.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "If your girl makes president, you guys double your pay, right?", "c": ["Alicia"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Whatever it is I'm selling, he is not buying.", "c": ["Alicia"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Don't worry, he's like that with all the humans.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Leon, today is a very high-pressure day, and as you know me, I don't even like high-pressure showers.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Is that what I've been smelling? I thought maybe it was your panic.", "c": ["Leon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "And you like to use a lot cologne. Like a lot of cologne.", "c": ["Leon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "What does a red sticker mean? I'm like a target for snipers?", "c": ["Alicia"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "It means you're wearing a red sticker. Follow me, please.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Doyle? You're kidding me. I'd rather get advice from a fucking Ouija board.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "She better have been in an accident.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "It's beautifully put together... like me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I thought you just said it was locked. / Yeah, it is. It's structurally very sound. We just need to nail the wording, okay?", "c": ["Selina", "Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "This 'Saturday Night Live' shitstorm has just hit nine on the 'Sphincter Scale.'", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "So what? I had a horse as a kid. Who didn't? / Mmm... / I mean, have a pet is what I meant.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "It's like 'SNL' is going back in time and abusing a child.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Like I always say, nothing less funny than a comedian.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "If somebody takes a shit in your car, what are you gonna do? You gonna drop your trout and take a crap through the sunroof?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "'Sue' casa es su casa, sir.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "If you don't like the reality, go live in Oregon and make quilts with my mother. She could use the help.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Some sort of optimistic warmonger with a soft spot for educated gays.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Jonad! Jonad!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "President Lincoln should be back from the theater by now.", "c": ["Leon"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Quit your yakking, 'cause guess who's packin'!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Yeah, not some pissant who narrowcasts libelous poison from his mother's phone.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I'm going to have your credentials checked, Jonad.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Put your boss on the phone, or I will saut\u00e9 your sack, you 'SNL' shitstick.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "This is like Black Friday at Wal-Mart.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Her? Just beat cancer. / Yeah, but not a bad one. An easy one, like finger or skin. Not one of the hard ones.", "c": ["Gary", "Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "'Ooh, I just made an omelet, I'm a hero!'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "The St. Joseph's Children's Choir has come down with a vomiting bug. All 30 of them.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Amy was born to be with kids. / Well, peeing is fun!", "c": ["Mike", "Amy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "You look like a pretty toy soldier.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I loved you on 'Saturday Night Live.' You were hysterical. / That wasn't me, though. But wasn't it funny? So funny!", "c": ["Selina", "Karen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "You can repeat 100% any time you like, ma'am. / I will, ma'am... 100%!", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "You can't have hospitals after war. That's what I'm saying. 'Cause then they sound like they're the result of war. It's the curse of the unintended narrative.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Do I look like I rode in on the last 'fuck truck,' Selina?", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "We can turn water into blowjobs.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "You want me to be some sort of a party puppet? You can stick your hand up my ass and work my mouth?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "No, the Dee don't stand for anything. That's like me askin' you what does the 'Mike' stand for? It stands for 'Mike kinda guy.'", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "My name is Dee. And you're what, fucking nobody? 'Cause don't nobody talk to Dee like that, okay?", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "They're gonna what? / Is this your doing? Did you give them this idea, Dan? / I don't do offended, but I am... affronted that you'd even think that.", "c": ["Selina", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I'll tell you what happens. They get bullied when they're little at school, and then they perpetuate the cycle by bullying me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Great minds think alike! / You look like you're in one of those body swap comedies.", "c": ["Catherine", "Ben"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "What in the wide world of fuck do you think you're wearing?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "This makes me look like I'm some sort of a crazy person that was deliberately trying to make us look like twins.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I just got off the phone with the congressional leadership and they're stuck in traffic, so we may not make it to the steps.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "So I'm supposed to let a bunch of dead-eyed white guys... shit all over absolutely everything that I stand for.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I've decided that I'm... going to let them dictate to me. Because that is my decision. Do you understand that? I am letting them do that!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "What's wrong with that lady's face? Looks like something crawled up in there and died.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "What's wrong? You look like you killed a hooker.", "c": ["Alicia"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "This is unbelievable. / I know, and I apologize if we have wasted your time. / No, you ain't wasted nobody's time. We gonna use that time to kick your ass.", "c": ["Dee", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I'm angry too, I wanna kick my own ass. I'll do it for you. I've punched myself in the face before. I ran into a wall once.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Ow! I'm trying to help you, you stupid cow!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Where I grew up, my dad called my mom a cow all the time. It's not bad, it's homey and friendly. 'I love you, baby, you're a cow.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Mike. What are you going to do for an encore? You gonna punch the kid?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Out that door before I nail your squawky throat to it.", "c": ["Dee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I see you found it... the 'Room of Regret.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "It's an ancient technique that's been plied by loveable losers since way back. It's called begging.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "You gotta go lower than the lowest lowlife. You gotta dig and dig and dig until you get to the point where you wish you were dead. Okay? And that's base camp.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "It's like my 21st birthday. Or my 18th birthday. Or every other birthday, okay?", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Posing for Christmas cards, watching C-SPAN instead of 'Sesame Street,' going to memorials of old Israeli men that I've never even heard of.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "So you need to go out there. And you need to stop behaving like a little bitch.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "And that jacket doesn't work, by the way. You look like a waiter.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I'm appealing to your better nature. / Mike, I don't have one of those.", "c": ["Mike", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Spin the ol' dial on Radio McClintock, see what it lands on.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Sir, this is your beauty pageant of the nearly dead.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "That was fantastic, Mike. That was fantastic. Get up. / That was really nice. / Thank you. I owe you one. / What do you owe me for? / Because you're not gonna run it. / Mike, I'm absolutely running the story.", "c": ["Jonah", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "You forgot to say it was off the record. That's like Journalism 101.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "You are the Rosa Parks of child care! / At least Rosa got to sit down, right?", "c": ["Dee", "Alicia"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Jonah, you are the dick that keeps on giving!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "I'm the cow! / You are. / I'm the cow! / Moo!", "c": ["Mike", "Alicia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Alicia"}, {"t": "Very inspirational speech, ma'am. Come on, you wrote it, you can't review it.", "c": ["Aide", "Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "This is what DC must have been like under Jefferson... except that would have been a horse, right?", "c": ["Aide"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "She might have a 'great sense of density' for this nation", "c": ["Staff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "20,000 and Selina sits on your lap. - What did you just say? - No, not really.", "c": ["Dan", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Gary, what are you doing? You look like a newborn giraffe.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I was just fanning myself with my arm.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I call that an 'ussy.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "- She's nine months. - Okay, she's rounding up.", "c": ["Mother", "Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "They've been fracking in our area.", "c": ["Cassie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "We need to make that woman go away. - And I don't mean kill her. - Kill her.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina", "Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I've got the baby!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "She was like a beached whale with one flipper fucking around in the air, and you were nowhere to push her back in the sea.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "That baby had a mean look in its eyes, like its mama.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I'm calling this 'Pacific Trim.' - You know what 'trim' is? - Yeah? - It's twat.", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Remember, while you're there, do not use 'Google' as a verb. They 'Yahoo' things there.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I lose women and what am I left with? I'm left with gay Latinos and Jews at college, I guess.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I have to succeed where the Republican Guard failed.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "You know, they say all babies are cute, but whoever 'they' are should be stuck in a stroller and pushed into traffic.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "So, the Veep's gone to Silicon Valley of the Dolls. And instead of California dreaming, she's got 'em California screaming.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "'But I've been drinking that frack water, and look what it's gone done to my titty milk!' 'My baby, oh, my baby!'", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Sue. Sue-ster. Sue of steel. Sue-Sue-Sue-dio.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Jonah, get off the line. And then the planet.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Dan-zibar, what's happening?", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "He just swallowed his phone in fear.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I haven't seen my penis since the first Gulf War, and I kinda miss the little guy.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Well, seems his unit in Iraq did that to some poor slob with a drill.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "It's still Tuesday for another six minutes.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Mike, I am balls deep in this omelet.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "No, you shouldn't make your first million until you're in your 30s. That's what Andrew and I did. It kept us completely grounded.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Poor kids, they don't realize they're all gonna be executed by the time they turn 30.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I am the oldest person at Clovis by five years. I feel ancient. - You must be 12 years old, then.", "c": ["Melissa", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Absolutely, although it is pronounced 'Cray-eeg.' - 'Creg.' - 'Cray-eeg.' - 'Cray-eeg.' Very close. - 'Cray-eeg.' - That's it. Well done, Amy.", "c": ["Melissa", "Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Oh. You got it right, 'Ah-mee.'", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "We could 'build' a consensus.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "My brain feels like it's being fucking circumcised.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Get me a cheeseburger made of aspirin.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "You're gonna sit there and piss your pants like a man while I take your money.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I got a hangover worse than the film they made after 'The Hangover.'", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Craig's coding hour is sacred. It happens every day. but you don't know when.", "c": ["Melissa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "No, ma'am, that's Ron Jeremy. - I know, he's a great actor. He was Scar in 'The Lion King.' - That was Jeremy Irons. Ron Jeremy is a porn legend.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina", "Melissa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "What are you doing? - It's like a rollaway. But there's no wheels.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Three pretty ladies, like Saturday night at Chez Jonah.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Because unlike your boss, his day-to-fuck-up ratio isn't one to one.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Our withdrawal from Afghanistan has been more 'momentarily' than this.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I shouldn't say this because I majored in math, but you have my 1000% attention.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "She's our 'financy Nancy,' but she's cool, sometimes. - I can be cool sometimes.", "c": ["Craig", "Melissa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "So pretty. The museums are too big. They could be smaller.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "If it's a phone and watch, just call it a 'Fotch.' Or a 'Wone.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "If you wanted it to bomb.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I feel like we're sawing a tree or something. Now we're milking a cow.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "We have a saying here at Clovis... 'Dare to fail.' - Then that's a job well done.", "c": ["Craig", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "We have a saying here at Clovis... 'Dare to fail.' - Then that's a job well done.", "c": ["Craig", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Hey, do you think I should go with this? I'm probably going to, but if you think I shouldn't go with it, just call me back. Okay? Call me back if I shouldn't go with it.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "The Smartch learns quickly. It's like it has an Asian mother.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Now I'm getting fucked harder that way.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Technically, becoming vice president could count as making it.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Yeah, I can't take it from them, too. You know? A girl gets tired.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "We see ourselves as very much post-tax. You don't follow politics, I thought. Or you do now follow politics?", "c": ["Craig", "Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "People want to work with us more than they want to be paid. That's a given.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "If that plan works, you've changed humanity.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Fair enough. Four to six. He said he's a popular guy, so... - I didn't say that. - Yes, he definitely said that.", "c": ["Craig", "Dan", "Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You see these brains? See why I'm pattin' 'em? Because they are made of solid platinum.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Jonah with money. God Almighty. It's like if Hitler could fly.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Fuck you, Kent Davison. Fuck you, Mrs. Gravestock from the third grade. Fuck you, stepdad one and stepdad three.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I think I just had a money-gasm.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "It's like if Hitler could fly.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "After taxes, it's like 500,000. It's nothing. What are you gonna do with that?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "'Cause when you do that to the vice president, this is what happens!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "like you're C-3PO with a big, brass, shiny erection", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "They have a bathroom here, or do they put their turds up in the cloud?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I'm flattered, but the sheer positivity of this place would break me.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Go fuck yourself. Sorry, that's the opposite of what I meant to say.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "It was a masseuse. - That makes total sense now. - Who did you think it was?", "c": ["Gary", "Kent", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "Not to split hairs or anything, but it was a man. So, technically, it's a masseur, not a masseuse.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "some people call me 'Madam Vice President.' But you can call me whatever you want, Craig. - 'Cray-eeg.'", "c": ["Selina", "Craig"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "the words 'Danny Chung' and 'torture'... they don't belong in the same sentence. They don't. 'Danny Chung'? 'Torture'? Come on.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "And I wonder what magician got that little story out there?", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I can buy a thousand Amys.", "c": ["Craig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "You take that chicken soup and you shove it up your soul.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "I got some meat you can put in your mouth. You fuckin' asshole! Hey, you want a complimentary soda?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "You fucked me, Dan. You fucked me with your face.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "In the ladies' restroom, they have some sort of an Internet toilet. I couldn't figure out how to flush it. It's got all these buttons that freak me out", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Clovis"}, {"t": "You are going to change America in a way that usually only war and fluoride can.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Not in a Jewish way, either. In a, like, selected from a very short list of 10 way.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Some people say three microwaves is overkill. My response is always, 'Tapas.'", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "You know that saying, 'Anyone can run for president'? Joe Thornhill is the only reason that that's utter bullshit.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "My nostrils feel like Vietnam.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Is this the beginning of the Rapture or what?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Mississippi is chock-full of assholes. I don't trust the Chinese. I'm not gonna be able to pass a single piece of legislation that's really gonna make any fuck of a difference in your life.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "He's Amy without a conscience and he's Dan without the five percent that needs to be loved.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Not the whole bag. A specimen cup full of little Mikes.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "All my 'troops' are in a cold bag now, okay? I just gotta get them to the doctor so he can begin the assault on 'Egg Mountain.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I'd rather cede control of the CIA to Pakistan than see Dan lead a campaign.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I can't do the 'be nice to people' because that's what Dan's doing. Also, 'cause I can't do it.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Dan, watching you try to be nice is like watching a baby smoke a cigarette... it's kind of cool, but also very disturbing.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "That was quite a long journey for that joke. I admire your stamina.", "c": ["Ericsson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "He'd make a good croupier... Never thought of that. He's very good at reading people, you know? Right, hitting on drunk divorcees, yeah. That's his level.", "c": ["Ericsson", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Oh, but you know, he's my asshole. You need a better asshole.", "c": ["Selina", "Ericsson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Someone around here needs to get a new job, and it ain't me.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I should be the 'three-mile candidate.' 'Three Mile' has negative connotations. There was a nuclear disaster there. Yeah. Well, there might be one here too.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Peeing in a bush, being talked to on a porch. It's kind of like being a dog.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "What in the living fuck?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "It's like a flowchart for people who don't know what firearms do.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Oh, well... please, by all means, 'Leonardo.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "No, they were pre-killed.", "c": ["Maddox"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "He talks the talk, but all he did in Iraq was wait for the bombing to stop, then post Facebook photos of himself sitting on a gold-plated bidet.", "c": ["Maddox"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "You fucking idiot.", "c": ["Maddox"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I could take a dump on it, if you need a clincher.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I also do that with my men.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I've eaten hummus with a pen cap. Don't tell me how I can eat.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "'S.S. Starch.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Do you think that I'm ruthless enough? I think you have just the right amount of grit in your oyster.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Can I be a complete fucking bitch? Please don't talk about yourself that way.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Mike's masturbating at work... I caught him coming out of the bathroom stall with a bag.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Did you bring any extra dressing? I hear the next course is gonna be pulled pork... pork that has been pulled.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "So everybody knows that I was in there masturbating into a cup now?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I have a sister who was... well, she didn't have the... it kind of all went wrong within the tubing...", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Please do. Yay me. Yay me.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Oh, please do not tell me you are one of those fucking weirdos that celebrates three month-a-versaries.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Oh, please do not tell me you are one of those fucking weirdos that celebrates three month-a-versaries. It's actually a year.", "c": ["Amy", "Ed"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "The spicy burrito juice.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "People like me, people hire me, people date me, and people fuck me because I'm triple-A fuckin' awesome and no other reason.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "You know what? The only reason you have a fuckin' job is because your uncle is 'Donald Chump.'", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Selina's gonna lose and President Maddox is gonna have you both executed!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Wake up and smell the fuckin' burrito juice.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I'd rather be shot in the fucking face than serve as vice president again. Seriously, in the fucking face!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Desperate Dan, flailing Amy, crippled Gary, jizzy Mike.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I'm gonna shoot Mike and Gary in the head, I'll poison Amy, I'll behead Dan.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "That desperate dick covered in medals that he got on eBay, by the way?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "You know what? You stop interrupting me, you stupid fucking interrupty guy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I wouldn't spread that around, Gary.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I carry around Selina's big, heavy bag of her tampon bullshit.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Fuck you, Dan, you minor-league gigolo!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "When I was a kid... a bunch of older kids dared me to kill this stray dog. And I did.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "I torch cars, you know... give me the nuclear codes.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "We should throw your expired cum at Jonah's door.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Fishing"}, {"t": "Time to lose your fiscal cherry.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "You're gonna be like the 'fairy job-mother.'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I want to hear the Discovery Channel say, 'We interrupt these sharks.'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Thanks for sending me the speech, Mike. It's perfect... - Great. - ...ly shit.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Mike"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Your first drafts are always terrible. - That's my fourth. - Oh, God.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "You know what? Next time I'll get a clown and cheer you up. Oh, good, a two-clown entourage.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "So you're the guy who keeps burning my tongue.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "- You see that tie? - Yeah. - It's hideous. - Horrendous. - Suits him. - Yeah, it does.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Andrew Meyer, dick on fire.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "The metal skeleton, you know, within the structure itself is useless, but then you put this black fabric hexagonal-shaped thing on it, and what do you have? An umbrella. And it's a winning team. And I like to think of it as a metaphor.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "She was a vicious bitch and a fuckin' drunk. - Yep. But that's sad news.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "You don't have to do the whispering. It's just me.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Where do you get your news, from a guy on a horse?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "How about I have the veep put her arms like in 'Platoon' and scream, 'Why?' Too wordy?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Catherine, I can't send Mike and Ben to Coachella. But you, you know, you're hip. You're 'deck,' you know? Deck's a thing, right?", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Okay, remember her husband fondled your left breast? What do you think, I'm gonna forget that? I've got a thumbprint there.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I am giving a talk on economics. 'The Finnish Wilf.' - Er, what...? - It's 'wolf.' Oh, hello. - 'The Finnish Wolf.' - Yes. - And there is my book. - Oh. - And what is that called? - 'The Finnish Wilf.' - It's 'wolf.' - Yeah, I got it.", "c": ["Minna", "Selina"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I want a lanyard with a retractable one. Do you have any idea who I am?!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Jonah, come here. You know, sometimes I feel like there's a nine-year-old boy inside of you just operating the levers.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Minimum six-second handshake, and I want a toothy smile. Perfect. Because we've got to prove they both don't hate each other. - Absolutely. - Okay. And this is it. - This is it. - That's it. - This is it. - This is it.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "And if there was, by the way, it would be a 'Meyer-Maddox' feud. Yeah, yeah. She would go first. That's right.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I look tense, because... yes, well, one, I have broad shoulders, and, two, because that's the job. The job is what makes me look tense. But underneath all the work tension, I'm really very relaxed.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "To give guns to babies? Well, only in Arizona.", "c": ["Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "- Minna, I've made a joke. - And me also, I made a joke... for giving the guns to the babies. Because I know you don't give the guns to the babies.", "c": ["Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "He's not just a personal trainer, he's like a personal Jesus.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Maybe you should work on North Korea first... get them to relax, and work your way up to Amy.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Just so sad. I hate murder.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Shit the fuck... she said that?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I haven't bent this far since I was five centimeters dilated.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "How about we turn out the lights and see?", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Marimba... that alarm that's on your phone when you wake up. It's like, 'Wake up, America!'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I wrote a soundbite once and had the entire crowd in tears. Even the police horses.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I can improve your posture 6,000%.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Well, so can I. I can just take off my shoes.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I spend more time with you than any of my other friends. That technically makes you my best friend.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "- We're fucking. - Uh-huh...", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "'Cause he'll be, 'Oh, a crisis. I need a third iPad.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I wrote it. - Oh. Well, it's got some good bits.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Or how about a drone strike?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "You're a sex trafficker now. How low can you go? Well, however it is, Amy, I'm still higher than you.", "c": ["Amy", "Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "We know. You're Ray-curious.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Sorry, I didn't mean to strike a nerve there. You didn't strike a nerve. I'm just saying... because you're in shape doesn't mean you don't know that 'IMF' means 'International Money Fund.' 'Monetary.' Close.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Ray"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Stay small, Selina! - Oh, my God! - Go, go, go! - Ow, ow, ow! My hair! My hair! My hair!", "c": ["Security", "Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Give me your fuckin' gun! I'll shoot his balls off!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Catherine just did what any good daughter would do. - What...? - You punched that motherfucker. - You punched that guy square in the face. - No!", "c": ["Unknown character", "Catherine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Honey, that means you're really good at it and you didn't even know it. No!", "c": ["Unknown character", "Catherine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Now I feel like you're attacking me. It's kind of irritating. Okay, just back off.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Can you not hear me singing in the wires?", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "You just picked a fight with the jumpiest hundred million people I can possibly think of.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I wish we were still on abortion. That was easy.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I need 'Ray-creation.' Just had it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "In years to come, a therapist will have me acting this out with dolls.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I throw one punch, and all of a sudden I'm 'America's Next Top Redneck.'", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "That is not your shoe.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "What, the Pilates made your shirt fly off?", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Mom, not the help. Jesus, that's tacky.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Nobody likes sex, let's disperse.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Kenny G can blow the storm up.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "It's like a man, but it's very tall. - Rudolph. - No, no.", "c": ["Minna", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "In your country, people fuck snow.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I want for your comfort to make you aware that today I purchased ear pligs. - Ear plugs. - Oh, ear plugs. Okay.", "c": ["Minna", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Dan? I am not gonna talk to radio stations that have eagles in the logo or call themselves the 'voice of reason.'", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Uh, yes, you are going to a 'fucking gun show,' even if I have to put a gun to your fucking head.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "You say that once a week.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "How the fuck do you screw up a handshake, Mike? It's four fingers and a thumb.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "And if you don't like my tone, you're really not going to like Guantanamo Bay.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Don't say, 'Freeze, or I'll protect your fucking head off.'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Look at this well-defended picnic table. Covered in all these... things that defend.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Although this would not have been a good present for her, 'cause she was a toddler with a temper. She was so mad. - I wasn't. - Just say you were mad. Doesn't matter.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "This one is upside down, so if you were doing a back bend or something...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Just one freaky dyke after another.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "I would have told you last night, but you had Ray's cock in your ear.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Talk about the GDP. Nobody knows what that means. - Do you know what that means? - Yes, I...", "c": ["Andrew", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, it's the big bad 'wilf.'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "The men and women who are behind the umbrella skeleton.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Well, if we kill everybody in the room, then we might be okay.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "Once I got used to all the regular people and how fat they were, I really enjoyed it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "You know, it's okay, it doesn't matter... oh-hh... oh, my God! That's very good.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Detroit"}, {"t": "We are running some reverse-'My Fair Lady' shit here. We're showing she's a regular gal.", "c": ["Campaign Staff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "'Good Mourning, America'... mourning with a 'u.'", "c": ["Campaign Staff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "that 65-year-old fuckin' intern", "c": ["Campaign Staff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "He had tickets for a West End musical. Something with a duck or a ghost. I don't remember.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Hey, is FLOTUS having an affair? Not that I would blame her.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Her neck is like stretched cheese. Yeah, it looks bad now. Bad. It's gone bad.", "c": ["Selina Meyer", "Staff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Heroin and Chinese food. Noodles and needles.", "c": ["Peter Mitchell"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Same vibe.", "c": ["Peter Mitchell"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I'm nailing pathos to the fricking wall here. Death, glory, folly, tragedy. It's got the four main mood groups.", "c": ["Mike McLintock"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "It's like watching a goat trying to use an ATM.", "c": ["Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Because money is just a concept. We believe in it because we're too scared not to. There's no intrinsic value to it. It's not like muscles in your arms.", "c": ["Ray Whelans"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I try to learn a word a day. I love words very ardently.", "c": ["Ray Whelans"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "And I hope that 'honestly' isn't one of those words that's lost its meaning whilst traveling the Atlantic.", "c": ["Deputy Prime Minister"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Because the U.S. doesn't spy on its allies. Now I'm relieved. We collect data. Same thing. Oh, no.", "c": ["Selina Meyer", "Deputy PM"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Gary likes to keep his cards close to his chest.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I'm just 'collecting data.'", "c": ["Deputy PM"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Um... I think it's very nuanced. And I think there's a lot of different sides to a lot of different topics that are out there that I think we could spend some time...", "c": ["Gary Walsh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Gary, I need that lipstick.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Madam out there hobnobbing, us here in the servants' quarters. It's like 'Downton Abbey.'", "c": ["Mike McLintock"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "McClintock, Lady Selina wishes to eat a Cornish pasty in the paddock this evening. Post-haste, you bugger!", "c": ["Mike McLintock"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I love that voice. It makes me feel inadequate and horny. The dream.", "c": ["Gary Walsh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "'60-Day Shred.' 'Get A Bod Like God,' 'My Name Is Ray, You're Okay,' 'The Greater Glory In 20 Days'", "c": ["Ray Whelans"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Wasn't it Oscar Wilde who said, 'Dan's a fucking terrible campaign manager'?", "c": ["Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I would like to shoot him, but there are no guns in this country.", "c": ["Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I'm in London Town, and it's going to be a 'right royal cockney barrel of turnips' when I dish the dirt on Selina Meyer.", "c": ["Jonah Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I can imagine Harry Potter getting loaded in here.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Well, he's a small child, so, underage.", "c": ["Pub Owner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Although I think the actor is quite a grown man. The actor, yes. But the original, the literary version, which, of course, is the fictional story of a child witch. So... would very much still be considered a minor. Right. Actually, I think it's a wizard.", "c": ["Selina Meyer", "Pub Owner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "'Jonah Bond, double-o-fuck off.'", "c": ["Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "What kind of ham did you say?", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "We call that soccer, actually. No, here, football. Right. We have football there, and I'm wondering what do you call what we call soccer? That's one thing I don't... Yeah. Football.", "c": ["Selina Meyer", "Pub Owner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I'm joking. He won't. I think you look like a bitter person, maybe.", "c": ["Pub Owner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "The vice president is now going to 'pull a pint.' Come on down. I just said that.", "c": ["Mike McLintock"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "'Daniwah!' Okay! 'Daniwah!' Daniwah! Daniwah!", "c": ["Selina Meyer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "They're eating this up. I think we just landed a catchphrase.", "c": ["Dan Egan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "They're not saying 'Daniwah.' They're saying 'down in one.' Moron.", "c": ["Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "They're laughing at her like a toddler they taught to swear.", "c": ["Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Like the Hindenburg.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Okay, 'Daniwah' is trending. It's number 2 under Kate Middleton's bony ass.", "c": ["Dan Egan"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "You know, I thought it was some sort of a Japanese thing that he was saying. Yeah, like 'konnichiwa.'", "c": ["Selina Meyer", "Gary Walsh"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Siri, how many horses died in the First World War?", "c": ["Mike McLintock"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Those guys are gonna wish they weren't dead.", "c": ["Gary Walsh"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Don't you think the other hat is a little too 'hatty'?", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Britain is the kingdom of the hats. I have never heard that phrase. Is it?", "c": ["Gary Walsh", "Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Or nothing at all. Ooh... what? I don't know what you mean.", "c": ["Gary Walsh", "Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I am 'Dan With A Plan' Egan, so if I can't work, then you can't work", "c": ["Dan Egan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "That's... I was doing a little role-playing. Like the Charles Manson defense?", "c": ["Dan Egan", "Kent Davison"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Nicely done, 'Obi-Wah Kenobi.'", "c": ["Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I can chop this thing in two like a disputed kitten.", "c": ["Dan Egan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "As I do everything I write for you.", "c": ["Mike McLintock"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "It's just a little bit too 'effy' for me, do you know?", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I could 'normalfy' this for you.", "c": ["Ray Whelans"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Everything was much easier when it was just floppy discs.", "c": ["Mike McLintock"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "There's a whole lotta guys who never came home. Good guys. Here's to those guys.", "c": ["Ray Whelans"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Holy fuckin' Christ. What is that, Ray?", "c": ["Mike McLintock"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "What? Were you there the whole time? Yeah, yeah.", "c": ["Selina Meyer", "Gary Walsh"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Oh, thank you. Actually, I don't run it anymore. Oh, what a shame. I was going to give you a story about Ray Whelans. You know, I do still run it.", "c": ["Jonah Ryan", "British Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I feel like Shakespeare when that monkey tried to make fun of him. What? I think that might have been a cartoon.", "c": ["Mike McLintock", "Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I'll hold off that long streak of deputy piss while she's in there.", "c": ["Ben Cafferty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Let's remember the guys who never came home. Here's to the good guys. Boy, they were good guys, weren't they? They were.", "c": ["Selina Meyer", "Others"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I'm not waiting on a guy to have sex with. I am waiting on a guy to talk... he's a reporter.", "c": ["Jonah Ryan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I don't know, I just thought 'Watergate, Deep Throat.'", "c": ["Jonah Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Eight pounds for two coffees? Thank you, America.", "c": ["British Reporter"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "No, I've got a super hot British source with a super sexy voice. She sounds like Mary Poppins on all fours.", "c": ["Jonah Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "You do realize Mary Poppins would be over 100 by now? Yeah, and I'd love to sweep her chimney, eh?", "c": ["British Reporter", "Jonah Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "So you Googled it. I didn't just Google it. I found this thing called the 'Internet Archive'... So you Googled it.", "c": ["British Reporter", "Jonah Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Obesity is a punishment for sins committed in a previous life. Fat people have to learn self-discipline until they are rid of the demon that lives within them.", "c": ["Jonah Ryan quoting Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Right. I saw the German chancellor just now heading toward the Lady Chapel. Yeah. He was going in there to pray privately.", "c": ["Deputy PM", "Ben Cafferty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Yes... ja, as they say in Germany.", "c": ["Ben Cafferty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Ich muss wieder zur schule gehen. Absolutely.", "c": ["Deputy PM", "Ben Cafferty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I said, 'I should go back to school.' Yes. Well, the thing about German is once it's with you, it stays with you. It's like riding ein bike.", "c": ["Deputy PM", "Ben Cafferty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I'll tell you how I know, because I remember when I first saw it, thinking to myself, 'What a hideous hat.' It is like she stuck her head in a swan and it's exploded.", "c": ["Deputy PM"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Well, du lugst. Hilarious. I know.", "c": ["Deputy PM", "Ben Cafferty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Okay, so unelected loony has the ear and minge of the vice president.", "c": ["British Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "All of America is fat people. That's all we have. All of our children weigh 300 fucking pounds.", "c": ["Jonah Ryan"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "We'll get photos of her being surrounded by fat kids dressed as devils.", "c": ["British Reporter"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Way to go, Dan. Way to go, Ray. Yeah, just throw the blame around. Not at me, though. It's not my fault.", "c": ["Amy Brookheimer", "Kent Davison"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, Buddha's got a big fat ass, Ray.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I write a lot of 'treatii.' 'Treatises,' Ray. The normal plural.", "c": ["Ray Whelans", "Kent Davison"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Text the details to my cell... mobile.", "c": ["Jonah Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I have always been a friend of the fa... full-figured folks.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Get your hands off me, all right? I don't want to catch your fucking idiocy.", "c": ["Dan Egan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Is that that egg with the sausage wrapped around it? Never mind. Not important.", "c": ["Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Yeah, they think folks who are physical can't be cerebral. They think those two things are separate, that they're not symbiotic.", "c": ["Ray Whelans"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "You know, the brain is a muscle. No, it isn't.", "c": ["Ray Whelans", "Kent Davison"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I don't panic. I'm the fucking iceman. That's why I'm the campaign manager.", "c": ["Dan Egan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "This is like the Queen's china. They're never gonna let us back into England again.", "c": ["Gary Walsh", "Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "You really don't get it, so I'm going to keep this very simple. You're fired. I get you. Very simple.", "c": ["Kent Davison", "Ray Whelans"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Fat people don't even vote. They can't even be bothered to get out of the house, you know? There's no food in the voting booth.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "And there's five fat kids outside dressed as Satan.", "c": ["Kent Davison"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "You ask what temperature it is, you get some tiny little number. I don't know what... What? What is that supposed to mean? Even the plugs here are bigger than the things that they power.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I just got 'Brit-fucked' by that balloon animal.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I mean, my God, Dan only hired him as a sex slave. What? Dan, he hired Ray as a... as a sex slave, did you not know?", "c": ["Gary Walsh", "Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "He... he pimped me out?", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I gotta say, Amy. You're like an actual friend. I mean, throughout all this... you know, me being made campaign manager over you... I mean, you could have been a real bitch, and you've been great. Well, I guess I'm a team player.", "c": ["Dan Egan", "Amy Brookheimer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "No, those are for my 'filthy Mary Poppins' and I'm gonna give her a 'spoonful of sugar.'", "c": ["Jonah Ryan"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Selina just fired you as campaign manager, so take as long as you need. Take longer.", "c": ["Jonah Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "You have put me in a hideous situation. Remotely, I might add. So from now on, remotely is how we will interact.", "c": ["Sue Wilson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Running machines don't go anywhere.", "c": ["Ray Whelans"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "I couldn't help but overhear, but I always thought that lady was a little damaged.", "c": ["Ray Whelans"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Okay, let's get the merrie olde fuck out of merrie olde England. I need to be driven to the airport at 'Diana speed,' okay? Just more carefully, though, please.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "All right. 'Dan Egan, 67, female.' Unemployed campaign manager. '30 different types of semen pumped from stomach, inverted nipples, abnormally high douche readings... chronic cretinism, leprosy, anal bleeding... tiny child balls'?", "c": ["British Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Special Relationship"}, {"t": "Gets me aroused. Sorry, I meant roused. No, did I-- I meant aroused. Aroused.", "c": ["Unknown aide"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Just me and my iPad, which I like to call the 'Zinger Sewing Machine.'", "c": ["Jackson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "So you threw away Dan and you kept the voodoo doll, huh?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Look at my muscly chest. Vote for me.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Well, I'm a baby-faced, know-nothing congressman from 'Shit Stain,' Nevada", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I've only ever used this voice, even as a young child.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "They've got more flip-flops than the cast of 'Baywatch.'", "c": ["Jackson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "You should only talk if someone pulls your string, okay? And even then, you just say, 'Tickle me.'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I think Gary's about to come. Don't do it. It's too much buildup.", "c": ["Unknown aide"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I never knew you had so much neck.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Just imagine, that's what you'll look like when you become a boy.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "People are gonna start to think we're sisters now or-- or siblings.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Short hair for the long haul.", "c": ["Unknown aide"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "It's like-- it's like flirting, but sexless.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Well, look, it's 'George Looney.'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I diagnosed myself with an acute case of 'everything's fine.'", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Milk and two heaping spoonfuls of whatever the fuck you're on.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "But don't ever go schizo-titzo on me again.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Yeah, is there a smoking condom?", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "It could have been anyone. Could have been Ben. Yeah, I poked everything that moved back then.", "c": ["Kent", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "we can make it an affair to remember. Bam!", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I got a whole new rush of blood to my new head.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Call me naive, but isn't that unethical? You're naive. Welcome to politics.", "c": ["Jackson", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I just can't seem to get him out of my hair. Did you notice?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "It's the worst use of scissors since my failed vasectomy.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "People don't elect elves, okay? They put them to work in grottos or they get them drunk at frat parties so they can toss them.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "'Strap-on Selina,' 'Selina Navratilova,' 'fingering the dyke.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "A blind woman? Oh, Wendy. I'll text her.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "What, are you laughing at us, 'Pee-wee Sperman'?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Well, I could add the word 'cookie' on the end for no reason.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "It's like being dropped into enemy territory unarmed.", "c": ["Chung"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "You'd fit right in in the military.", "c": ["Thornhill"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "You don't have the facial gravitas for a beard. It's so smooth, it's amazing. It's like touching a child's face. Here, try it. I don't enjoy touching children's faces. And neither should you.", "c": ["Maddox", "Thornhill"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Hey, 'Dan Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.' How's it going, buddy? You gonna self-harm? Can I live stream it?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Well, I don't just manage, ma'am, I coach. And I'm gonna coach America.", "c": ["Thornhill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "That's cute, little mind games. I happen to know all about sanctuary states, ladies.", "c": ["Thornhill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "She looks like Peter Falk.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Fuck Broadway. This is real acting.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Nice air kiss. I think he actually missed the air.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I swear, this kid is literally gonna shit himself.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Very good. Now compare yourself to Lincoln and Buddha.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "We could lose to the whale from 'Free Willy.'", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "He should have been there when the tank was on fire. God, how does this kid feed himself?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "She's got a problem with an anal gland. I'm talking about the dog.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "'Oh, I love your tie.' See? Basically brain-dead. Don't worry.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "World's worst boy-band member ever right there.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "He looks like he just came out of the bathroom and then decided that he hadn't finished yet.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "He looks like he just came out of the bathroom and then decided that he hadn't finished yet.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "She does not say nay to Ray. You know what I'm sayin'?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Call every whore and mistress in America until you find the right one.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "We need to find the 'smoking hon'.' As in 'honey.' That doesn't work.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "To... plug up the plug hole. Why a plug? To... plug up the plug hole.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "We should put this guy in Vegas. I mean, anywhere but here.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "We need Joe's ho.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "This feels better than actually having sex yourself.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "If there's any dirty trick that I cannot stand, it is honesty.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I hate confessions, unless they've been beaten out of someone.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I can't tell you about FLOTUS. FLOTUS is a no-go-tus.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "But that's what marriage is-- a conflict of interests. No. Marriage is being able to tell each other everything", "c": ["Mike", "Wendy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "She forgot the third R. The third R is-- actually, in fact, let me go back to 'reaffirm,' which was number two.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Do we have any snipers? Can we take her out? You got a gun? I'll do it.", "c": ["Amy", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "'Repel'? Why did she say 'repel'? What is it, 'Talk Like A Pirate Day'?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I think I've endorsed a Nazi. That would explain the Hitler haircut.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Hey, I got three Fs for ya-- you're fucked, you fuckin' fucker.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Holy crapcakes! They're loving her. I know. It seems every time she says 'repel,' she attracts more voters.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Don't look at the twitch. Focus on the 'dead dad lady.'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "What the hell is a legitimate hole? Well, don't get me started.", "c": ["Mike", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "What the hell is a legitimate hole? Well, don't get me started.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "He's gonna disappear up his own 'hole' hole.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "'Daddy, you fuckin' blew it!' 'Daddy, I've never been less proud of you.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Well, thank God for Twitchy. He really saved us. I love that little guy.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Go fuck yourself, 'Jack and the Giant Freakstalk.' Your team lost, and you should be fitted with a leper bell, you sinking shit.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "I do. He's a less talented ugly version of me. He's basically a human comfort blanket.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "And if you can't stand the heat, buy asbestos panties.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Because if they're in the hole, how are you gonna get out?", "c": ["Maddox"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Debate"}, {"t": "Let's take our shirts off and work up a sweat.", "c": ["Thornhill (via TV)"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Listen to this idiot. They're not even sound bites. They're just sounds.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "I mean, he cornholed us in Iowa.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Well, that's appropriate. It's the corn state.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "And please downplay them so I don't cry.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "She is downplaying them, ma'am.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "I'm normal. I can be so folksy. Doing the folksy thing with... folks.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Remember when we only had five days left? Those were good times. Great times.", "c": ["Amy", "Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "It's January, Mike.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I can't throw a ball, Mike. I'll look like Gary here.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Thank you.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Great idea. Talk some real vote meat. Rub with a schlub. That kind of thing.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "That's a good point. Nothing says 'regular American' like standing on a street corner shouting at strangers.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "What, are you David Coppercock?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Wow, it's a box inside of a box. Jesus! Oh, it's a crate.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "I love it. Are you okay?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Okay, for two grand, you don't get a call from me. Okay? Just send him a button or something.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "You know, they accuse you of not thinking outside the box, but I do think outside the box. You know what else I do? I stand on top of a box.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "I don't blame her. Imagine being married to that guy. I wouldn't put up with that shit for a second.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Do you want to... No, I like standing up here and looking down at everybody.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "I want to hear what you see. And I wanna see what you feel.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "because if I don't communicate, guys, I communi-can't.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Seriously, you do me better than I do me. You do yourself a lot.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "It's like a chicken came in your mouth.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "People can smell the stench of death and they're running for the lifeboats. Really? Women and tall, talented men first.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "You've got no skills. Your uncle controls a lot of votes, sure. But you? If you tried to clap, you'd miss your hands.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Boom, Isabella Herrera. Boom, Liz Graham. Ace up the sleeve... booya... Ally Craig.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Take your crazy eggs, stick 'em up your ass.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, I can now confidently spread the story that the Maddox camp is hemorrhaging like a burst dog.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Just try to make it look like a regular crate, Gary, not Thor's hammer.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Oh, God. That Dickensian shitstack?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Crate Expectations.", "c": ["Carter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "She thinks it looks folksy, but she really looks like Dustin Hoffman on a crate.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "I gotta go make noises out of my face hole or whatever it is I do.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "If I could lift the fucking crate, I'd beat him to death with it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Otherwise she's gonna hang herself from the nearest light fixture.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "They all call me a dick behind my back. But, like, right behind my back so I can hear them.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "God, I wish I had a dirty bomb.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "You don't have to fuck him, Mom. You just have to call him.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Most people say Hitler.", "c": ["Carter"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "So, change it to Hitler?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Oh, God, yes, you can... be.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Neil Diamond gave the same answer.", "c": ["Quincy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Siri, why does God allow suffering?", "c": ["Carter"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "He has his head so up his ass, he can wave out his mouth.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "GUMMI... Give Us More Money, Idiot.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "I always call them dicks. It doesn't stand for anything.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Delete it. It knows too much.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "You cannot be serious.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Don't know. Birmingham. Have you heard of Birmingham?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "No, the light bulb's fine, see?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Exit, pursued by a bear.", "c": ["Carter"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "A bit of a bitch. Be a little feisty.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "She does drugs. She's got that tattoo...", "c": ["Jonah's Mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "How do you not just punch yourself in the face?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "How do you not just punch yourself in the face?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "may want to reflect on how its tightfisted idiocy is mocked by the woman on the $1,200 crate.", "c": ["Amy reading article"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "You know what VP stands for? It stands for 'Victory Permafucked.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Every motherfucking one of you. Loser! Loser!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Take your lithium, jag-offs.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Let's find us a house, Wendy, where we can keep ducks. For us and the ducks.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "sometimes through no fault of your own, it's just one... disaster after another disaster.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Kind of, in a way, and also not. And in a third way both.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Ma'am, we're America. We're always at war.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Where is he... Yeah, 'cause doesn't he have to move? Well, yeah, but does he have a house?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "When I get excited, my nose bleeds!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Why is there a bicycle book?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "I was gonna raise ducks.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "gosh, good luck with all of your terrible troubles and, um, welcome to America.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "That's what all the chicks say.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "This is better than any of the sex I've ever had. I mean, almost any of it.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Someone has just flown two planes into my career.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Buy yourself a gun, Mom, because America's gonna have to shoot its way out of this.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be the fucking president.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Crate"}, {"t": "Ben: Am I dreaming? Do I have my pants on?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Ben: Ma'am, I don't wanna piss on your bliss, but...", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: (yells) President of the United States!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: Hey, you know what, go? We have to be careful, though, not to look too happy, you know? 'Cause of FLOTUS.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Amy: I'm not sure that Beyonc\u00e9 fully understands that. / Selina: (gasps) She's calling me a 'Single Lady.'", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: Holy shit. It's like Lolla-fucking-palooza.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Dan: It's like I'm a Beatle. / Staff: Well, you got the haircut for it.", "c": ["Dan", "Staff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: Thank you so much, 'Senator Suck-up.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Staff: Ma'am? You're now only a point away from Chung. Presidential bounce. / Selina: Yeah, bounce that, ya dumb dick.", "c": ["Staff", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Dan: From Ashton Kutcher's assistant, 'Ashton says congrats.' / Selina: Assistant?", "c": ["Dan", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Ben: Goodbye, China.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: God, can't we just take 'em out? Is Jack Ruby still alive?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: I wanna get rid of Leslie Carr. She has no fucking energy, ironically.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Ben: Listen, let 'em sulk. I mean, who's gonna notice?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: Oh, my God. We left him in New Hampshire.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: God, there's so many people in here. It's like a Mormon orgy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Ben: Here, boy. Come to me.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Ben: I was bulimic the whole first year and I didn't even lose any weight from it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: No, you weren't. None of that is true. What are you talking about?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: So, guess what? I am 10 centimeters dilated. I'm fully effaced. I mean, this presidency is crowning. I need you.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: Ben, I swear to sweet Jesus Christ, if you don't do this, I'm gonna bring back Prohibition.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Male reporter: he's so Washington, his blood type is DC.", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Amy: Clue... it's me.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Amy: Thank you for interrupting your studies, your start-ups, your retirements, your federal sentences.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Staff: It's like a Google Maps of ass-kissing.", "c": ["Staff"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: I'm not talking about this first female president thing. I'm talking about the first redhead press secretary.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: Uh, 'Mike McLintock, why are you so darn handsome?' / (press corps laughing) / Uh, why are you laughing at that one?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Richard: 'Dynamic Duo' came in. That's Batman, Boy Wonder... young... Lady Wonder.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Richard: Yeah, I'll hit the phones until I have a sore throat and a hot ear.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Egan: I bring bad news to the closet.", "c": ["Egan"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Egan: Give you 24 hours? Like in a movie? / Superior: No, I mean, yes. Please. / You have six hours. We can't afford 24.", "c": ["Egan", "Superior"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Superior: Or for six hours, depending on how you do. / I'll see you then. / Alternatively, goodbye forever.", "c": ["Superior"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: My bit about gun control killed. My bit about voter ID laws identified itself as hilarious.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Ben: You know, I told you when I was telling you I wasn't telling you what I told you. The fuck stops here, Dan.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Jonah: So I'm gonna go to Africa and help install sewage systems in poor communities or whatever. Or go to Wall Street, I don't know. One of the two.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Jonah: I've never told a lie in my life. / Dan: That was a lie. Try to keep up, Egan.", "c": ["Jonah", "Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Jonah: I can't denounce it. That's like Peter denouncing Christ or worse.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Dan: Just to warn you, though... I do like to lick the rim.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Jonah: 'Three-pack-of-Kleenex' Rachel?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Jonah: I couldn't be any closer to the Oval Office if I had... by some triumph of common sense... a desk actually in it.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: Oh, you... a million things. Are you kidding me? You know, just being there, and... and being you... (stammering) there... and all...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "(Jingling during presidential oath)", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Jonah: There's one of me fuckin' a chicken while dressed as bin Laden. / Dan: The chicken is dressed as bin Laden or you're dressed as bin Laden? / Jonah: No, I'm dressed as bin Laden, Dan!", "c": ["Jonah", "Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Jonah: I'm like a boom op on a porn shoot right now.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Dan: I can't have a terrorist chicken-fucker next to the president. Security risk.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: This is like Kathy Bates in 'Misery.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: Yeah, except there's no bridesmaids to fuck.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "The squeaking shoes during the speech", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Dan: It's like she's walking on a carpet of mice. / Jesus Christ, Gary. Are those real shoes or are those fucking dog toys?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: Sounds like the theme from 'Psycho.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Staff: 'President squeaks to the nation.'", "c": ["Staff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: Any fuckup from now on is not just a fuckup. It's my legacy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Kent: You might as well drive a suicide clown car into the fucking Lincoln Memorial.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: Leslie Nielsen. Leslie Frazier, the coach for the Vikings... / Selina: Huh? / Mike: Doesn't matter. You're... good speech.", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: I mean, we all make mistakes... just ask your mom and dad. (laughs)", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: Otherwise I'd have to have you killed. (laughs)", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "TV Ad: Imagine Selina Meyer is the only person keeping your children safe at night. 'Cause she is. Let's vote her out and make the Commander-in-Chief a Commander-in-Brief.", "c": ["TV Ad"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Jonah: Well, then you better 'possible-ize' it, Dan.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Jonah: And henceforth they will no longer be known as 'Jonahs.' They'll be known as... Jimmys or Pepes or Sarahs or whatever the fuck that person's name turns out to be.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Ben: Yeah, can we fly it into Danny Chung?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Dan: He's got old people coming out of his ass.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: Yeah, everybody wants to fuck 'em, too. God, I would love to fuck a firefighter. Hey, I'm the president. I can fuck anybody I want now, right?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Jonah: And that I will serve you faithfully as long as you happen to be president.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: She looks like she's in 'Flashdance.' / Kent: 'Thai lady-boy made head of sweatshop.'", "c": ["Mike", "Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Mike: Our Lord Jesus started with 12. He didn't win New Hampshire, either.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "Selina: I came in third, Amy. Okay? Even the Nazis came in second.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "New Hampshire"}, {"t": "We're making history. We're the first woman president, right? Well, I am. You're not, Michael.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I'm getting jiggy with it. I'm gonna get that Philip Roth book back to you. I haven't forgotten about it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "This is just noise-shaped air.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Mike trying to be healthy. It's like a potato trying to whistle.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "If I make it to 50, I can quit fruit for good.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "How many is that? This would be my second.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Great pep talk, man.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "During which I can sleep and you can squeeze nutrient paste into my mouth.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "We're looking at a big, fat Greek funeral.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Everything's my fault now.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Harvard education right there.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "There are a million young women around here and they all look exactly the same to me.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "You big lady racist.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Smells like Puerto Rico in here.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "That's files Mike11A1 and Mike11A11. That's for my reference.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "That was the actual President of the United States. It never stops being cool.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "For now, just put a marker that just says 'future whatever.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Suckas.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I wouldn't want him to have the shitty experience that I had as veep.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "You're holding it wrong. You're holding it wrong.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Ladies be crying, pimps be dying. It's Jonah Ryan.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "It doesn't reek of moisturizer and vaginal spray anymore. And that was just Dan.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Like a strap-on in a porn dungeon... rock hard and covered in pussy juice.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "You know who won the war? I believe that we... we did? No, not the grunts in the front. It was the fellas behind the scenes.", "c": ["Doyle", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Like the Catholic Church. Yeah, or an Arkansas wedding.", "c": ["Doyle", "Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Oh, no, we're good. We're friends forever. All right, okay, cool. Thanks, Teddy. You're a good man, Jonah. We need guys like you, because this game takes guts. Yeah. Yeah. Right? And it takes balls.", "c": ["Teddy", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Well, he's not dead, ma'am. No. It's fun for me to say, though.", "c": ["Ben", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Poor working moms seem to love it for some reason. But they only ever vote with their phones, usually for other poor young moms who can't sing.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Yeah, we just got to do a cock-thumb. What? What did you say? A cock-thumb?", "c": ["Ben", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Okay, well, let's cock-thumb. I really don't care for that term.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "The Prime Minister of India has sent you this. Why? I can't really work it out, but I'll put in a time for you to thank him. No, I don't want that. No duck? No. Sue: It's a dead duck.", "c": ["Sue", "Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "For example, I love my mother, but I had to put her in a home. And it's actually better for her if I don't visit.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I feel like I've got a hamster wheel in my head. You know that feeling?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Did you ever hear the theory that Reagan hired Hinckley just so he could get two weeks in bed?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Maybe we can put Afghanistan on eBay. Get about 10 bucks for that.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Chicken and egg scenario. Yeah, but where the chicken is just refusing to ovulate.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Austerity or playgrounds?", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Don't blame me for this, Amy. Don't shoot the messenger. I just gave you the message. You're being shot by the messenger.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "It's like a diet soufflee.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Can mice levitate, Mike? Can they levitate and fire lasers out of their mouse eyes? No. Well, then we've just asked each other equally ridiculous questions.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "You can just use the FLOTUS window. Looks right down onto the Oval Office. A lot of anxious First Ladies use it.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I got recognized on the street today. Guy had already met me and then forgot that he met me and then recognized me from TV and then remembered me again.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "If any of you new bitch puppies need help finding the mommy teats around here, you can just ask a West Wing vet, 'kay?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "It's great. Why are you even asking? I mean, it's so good. It's fucking... it's great. Me, Doyle. I mean, come on, Teddy. Of course, Teddy. So good over there, guys. So good.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "For a lonely suicide or an affair with your secretary. It's discreet. There's no DC people here.", "c": ["Ericsson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Was Vladimir Draw-Attention-To-Myself already taken?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Illinois Institute of Technology.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Good, 'cause that last minute was a very long minute.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Why would you do that the fuck for?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Does he realize that or is he gonna find out on ESPN?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "No, he's very, very stupid.", "c": ["Ericsson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Your job is very interesting. Challenging. Very exciting job. My job, yes, it is. The job I have is a very good job.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Do you know what? I have never looked at her from this angle. And she still just radiates... okay.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "He could have your job. You know, I'm saying all this out loud and I probably shouldn't be.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Oh, I have a sixth sense. And a seventh for when I need it.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "It's like Colombian tongue sex.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I've never actually seen it, but as I understand, there's a scene where they all walk in a row like this.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I'm used to dealing with angry, aggressive, dysfunctional men, i.e., men.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "That and farting during first Communions.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "It's funny... I don't really think of you as a man.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I understand you're on the warpath. I get that. I think it's your favorite path.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Vampires! God, stop! If I was a ninja, you'd be dead right now. That's a life lesson courtesy of Jobi-Wan Kenobi.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Yeah, but here I am. I'm thinking it. The only unthinkable thing is that anything is unthinkable.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Kent majored in fortune cookies.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's horse hockey. Forgive me, ma'am. No, no. No forgiveness needed. I mean, at least you didn't say that's fucking bullshit.", "c": ["Joint Chief", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "It was designed for an outdated Cold War scenario that's gone the way of the fax machine and the VCR.", "c": ["Joint Chief"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Five-zero followed by a bunch of zeroes? Nine.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I think Lassie is trying to tell us something.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "That wasn't a cock-thumb. That was a cock-cock.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Get it in here in five-dollar bills. I'm gonna climb it and see if I get frostbite.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Well, you know what? You're in phenomenal shape. For a man of your age, it's just extraordinary.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "It's '50 Shades of Great.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "It looks like you have a penis. Which you can totally pull off if you had... if you had to.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I don't like to swear, guys, but I think the S is about to hit the F.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "The shit is gonna hit the fuck? No, F is for fan, Mike, not fuck. Why would shit hit fuck? Shit doesn't hit fuck.", "c": ["Dan", "Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "10 fucking points to Elsa the ice queen.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "We may as well have an anti-unicorn strategy.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "You think the whole sub is made in one place? Because the fin, or whatever the fuck, it comes from one factory in one state. And then this little round fucking window comes from another place.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "So take the periscope out of your asses and look at the warhead of shit that's coming at you.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Hey, Dobby the house elf, we've had enough.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "You can wave bye-bye to the Families First bill because the lawmakers in these districts are going to Vulcan death grip you to fuck. Live long and fuck off.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Popped your cardiac cherry, huh, Mike?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Oh, see, you're being sarcastic, Jim. Absolutely thrilled, really. Oh, no, see, that's sarcasm. That is sarcasm. It is, I see it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "What's with that Deputy Dawg face you got going?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "That's the long and shit of it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Just end high school in ninth grade or something.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I'm looking at you, but I'm shaking somebody else's hand. It's the strangest feeling.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "How come you type with only two fingers? You're not a sloth.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Why have you blinded the president, Gary?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "No one hates me more than I hate myself.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "You're wrong there.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "They're not dead.", "c": ["Someone in audience"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Ha ha ha! I've done it! I rule so hard.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "There are literally no words.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "My entire career just flashed before my eyes. It was incredibly impressive.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "She's bebop speaking.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "I detest jazz, but this is impressive.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Well, she just announced a dead guy's plan. He's not fucking dead.", "c": ["Ben", "Mike"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Instead now, that money is going to fund obsolete, metal, giant dildos.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Just to let you know that two of the hikers are dead.", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "What hikers?!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Joint Session"}, {"t": "Did he dye his mustache?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "It's vanity. He's the TV face of the administration.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "But he's glued Cheetos to that face.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "He looks like Yosemite Sam.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Yeah, without the credibility.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "He's gonna get his tits done next.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "She feels great, unlike President Harrison who contracted pneumonia during his inaugural address and died.", "c": ["Sean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Nice work, Mike. You're on fire. Nope, wait. It's your mustache.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I call it Tangerine Dream.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Hey, are we getting cocktails later? No, I can't. I've got to get home. You... Can you imagine? No. We love to drink.", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "So you want me to rule the House rules committee.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Yeah, if anyone can do this, Dan, I'm confident you or the guy we hired to replace you can.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Middle East, middle easy.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Whatever. I'm handling world peace, okay? You just go make the room pretty, i.e., the opposite of that fucking monstrosity.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "What is that? Picasso's heavy period?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "President Hughes loved it. Is that why his wife tried to kill herself?", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I think it's called 'A Man Who Shits Triangles.'", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I just got a text from Amy. 'I'm a latte'? Huh? Guess she means she's late.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Could be anything... accident up ahead, active shooter. Well, probably not that.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "You make me any more late, and I lock you in this car and have it compacted.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Memo to self... it is winnable. Delete the private polling. Also, hair. Ask Marianne about electrolysis.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "No offense, honey, but, I mean, look at yourself.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "She turned around the college film society. I transformed it, Mom.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm on trial in the future.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Amy, it's filtering out like every other word. Usually I just do that myself.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Have you seen that thing? It's like he ate a volcano.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "We polled her popularity. How dare you? How could you have the audacity to... Oh. Oh, these are not good.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I outlived some dead idiot president. Wow.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Happy birthday, Ben. Wow, that was quick. Yeah. We have a cake? No.", "c": ["Selina", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I could go get you some Pringles or...", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "You simultaneously made my day and ruined his.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Did we get these from a homeless man's grave? They're molesting my eyes.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I heard you sent them back to centerpiece hell.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Eliminate weaknesses. That's a little Nazi doctor.", "c": ["Bill", "Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Well, I just wanted to say a friendly hello in an unfriendly way.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I mean, who knew we even had one?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "To be honest, I don't even know if she's one of ours. 20 bucks says she's Mossad.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "This is about the brand image of Catherine Meyer, TM.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Catherine, America doesn't like you.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I wouldn't say hate. You just... polarize opinion with the bulk of it gravitating to this pole here.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "You have sharp shoulders. This is like high school all over again. Yeah, sure, kind of, but much bigger.", "c": ["Kent", "Catherine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Customary shortcuts to public affirmation are military service or childbirth. Okay, God, no, and, oh, my God, no, in that order.", "c": ["Kent", "Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Okay, well, then we go back to the idea of turning that frown into the inverse of a frown. Upside down?", "c": ["Kent", "Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "There's not gonna be a signal, Jonah.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Hey, what's shakin', bacon? That's my way of saying hello, breaking the ice.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "You know, don't think of them as kids as much as little human start-ups.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "And then you take the money you save and you spend it. That's economics.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Did you know that a lot of these have expired?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I'm flying solo. I'm fucking Amelia Earhart and I'm still doing a better job than you.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Now get me some scalps. Names. Get me some names.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Yes, it's ironic that you're talking to us about occupation while you occupy someone else's continent.", "c": ["Israeli Prime Minister"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "So why don't you tell Sacheen Littlefeather to get off the rag and get over it, all right?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "This was just a preemptive cleaning, much like a juice cleanse.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Cleansed is not the right word. Wiped. No, not wiped. Cleaned.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Gary, you look whiter than a Georgia country club.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "We don't have time for the whole tapestry.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Is there a child missing?", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Gary, your inner child needs to grow an outer man.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Boy, at peace with Israel, at war with Native Americans. Do you know what I am? I'm like the opposite of Mel Gibson.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Because the first butt-ugly one was removed by some jerkoff with a hair ball for a brain.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "You got all your Danettes and your Dangelinas.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "What Scorsese film? I don't know. He's got to have a new one dropping, right? He's really prolific.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "You're flaring your nostrils. It feels natural.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "That looked happy, even if you're not happy. That's the trick.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "A lot of volume because her skull is low. It's kind of indented.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "And if you stand on it just like so, you can get Wi-Fi.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I feel like this is gonna be a key scene in my biopic.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Hey, sugar tits, did you stroke and choke the rules committee?", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "He's eager and hardworking and never complains and every night I dream of drowning him.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I am so proud of you, I could squeeze you like a sponge in the shower.", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Does that mean, like, he's the epitome of an assistant or he's just an assistant's assistant?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Am I being 'Punk'd'? Is this hazing? Happened to my brother once. He did not handle it well.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "What's Gary doing? Trying to max out America?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Wow, who knew they made lampshades out of unobtanium?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Yeah, said the Princeton grad in the Valentino tux.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "That her bagman spends like a Babylonian king?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "You are in the J-Corps now and we own these hallways.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "The president and I, we're like this. You know, not to scale, obviously.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Better not leak any photos. I see your media likes to make a big fuss about how much you spend. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes. Huh? What? What fuss? What spending?", "c": ["Israeli PM", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Well, imagine Elton John on a day he feels fat.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "To paraphrase a predecessor of mine, we have nothing to trust but trust itself.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Who do you think you are, Gary Antoinette? Did somebody make you first lady? 'Cause I don't remember marrying you, Gary. I don't remember fucking you in Niagara Falls.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "And you have suckered onto me like some sort of a car window Garfield.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "You're a middle-aged man who sanitizes my tweezers.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "When's Catherine's birthday? June eighth. Ninth. Which senator's daughter is in rehab?", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I'm your calendar, I'm your Google, I'm your Wilson the volleyball.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Most of the time you don't even know that I exist, but I am fucking everything to you!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "You mean on Labor Day? I didn't say that. Yeah, you did. You just did. You j... you just said Labor Day.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "It's light sponge. You just told me that.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I particularly love this color here. I think this is so pretty, don't you? I believe the title is 'Massacre.'", "c": ["Mike", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "My, you are small. I suppose you're young, but you're still very small.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Honey, don't look so worried. I'm not gonna bite you. But that man over there does have a gun.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "Have you ever seen 'Star Wars'? This is a little bit like the end of 'Star Wars.'", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "South Korea has called. They'd like to know if you'd like a baby elephant. I have no response to that. Other than I already have one.", "c": ["Sue", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "I'm kidding. She used to be chubby when she was little, but she's slimmed down as she's gotten older. Thank goodness.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "East Wing"}, {"t": "How did he write the note?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Well, they do need to stay thin.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I preferred the Internet when it was just AltaVista and that little Star Wars kid.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Well, there's a town with no Gay Pride parade or a goddamn library.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Oh, thank you, Question Man. You just saved the entire city. Or did you?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "This is catching fire like a gas station in a Michael Bay movie.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Bozos, disassemble.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Or a time whose problems I've suppressed.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I'm vaping. That's not the point.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "He photographs well for his age.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Is it a good apple? - It's a baking apple. - Fuck 'em.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I look like Grandpa.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know. This is so disrespectful.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "And... the girl, that is, has HIV.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know, he's fluffing the hacks.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Oh, thank you for remembering I have a daughter, ma'am.", "c": ["Lyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "And also my name.", "c": ["Lyle"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I mean, you know, I'm the rock star. She's not the rock star.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I think some guy fucked a monkey.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "You're right, I didn't.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "That's not just a breach. That's a data rupture.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "15% of them were hired to be fired.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "We call them the Expendabelles.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Just another Saturday night.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Hey, Egan, is somebody gonna get fired over this AIDSnami?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I'm the Dan who can.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "He was up to his thighs in it.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "How's the view from down there, you snake?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Law and order mixed with very mild reggae.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "It's like a comforting balance.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "This goat's not gonna scape itself.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I'm just waiting for the press to throw me in a pond to see if I'll float.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Just like my actual honeymoon with Daddy.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "What you'll look like when you're leaving office, except you look exactly like you do now.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "It's like my mom's cat.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Oh, God, welcome to my childhood. And adulthood, actually.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "She just did.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "the surgeon will be tweezering tiny shamrocks out of your eye jelly for a week.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I did balloons for Jerry Ford in '76. Met him. Asshole.", "c": ["Party planner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I just named it Presidential because of that asshole Ford.", "c": ["Party planner"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Look, the news moves so quickly, we'll have a new iPhone or the Chinese will be in Chicago.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Sting might as well be singing 'I'll access your medical data' in a fake Jamaican accent.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "He's the vice president, not the new Lexus.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "It's Ellie. Lee. Lee? Lee. Ah.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Well, it's mostly self-help audio books and relaxation tapes. I'm quite an anxious man.", "c": ["Sound technician"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Well, it's mostly self-help audio books and relaxation tapes. I'm quite an anxious man.", "c": ["Technician"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Screwed over by the Police. I'm Rodney fucking King.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Not Sting. Kurt Cobain. Well, not him.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "It's like getting a valentine from your own mom, you know?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "We'll be down to nano-donors.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Do I think it's the thing I should do? Is that your question, Mike?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Girl in the writers' room for the joint sessions speech. She was also at the rally tonight. Sci-fi Sally something.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I see splashes of myself in her. I now regret that phrase.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Who's my sister-in-law who works for the American Family Group.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Wouldn't work. You're talking to a guy who once broke off an engagement at an Applebee's, then ordered dessert.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Fitting that for Easter this story refuses to fucking die.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Whatever happened to Ebola? I loved Ebola.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "We need to cut the throat of a bigger goat.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "You know, that kind of surprised masturbator face.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Like a massive Easter Island-sized head.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I could wear a child's hat.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Hey, 'I Am Groot,' stop swapping spit here with 'Pretty Woman'", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Damn, man, this guy's balls are so big, they're practically tits.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "That isn't, Jonah. That's sexual harassment.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I wasn't bullied by you, I was bullied because of you.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Well, I apologize for my success, Catherine.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Are you bullying me into dropping an anti-bullying charity?", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "You're parenting.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Well, then, why don't you tell me and I'll decide whether or not I know it?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Don't give me that bunker shit. Hitler went into a bunker. When he came out, he wasn't chancellor anymore, was he? Plus he was dead.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I'll tell you something, if he were alive right now, he'd be very anxious to distance himself from me at this moment.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "This is a head-on collision and I'm your biggest air bag.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "And that's sad 'cause that's your whole job.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "You leave a gap. We're not piss buddies.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Still, you leave a gap. We're not piss buddies.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "You swear by everything you hold dear in your hand right now?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "You did two tours of Afghanistan? Yes, ma'am. I saw my best buddy die over there. Blown to pieces by an IED.", "c": ["Marine", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "And me and Kent are about to turn into two horny cheerleaders and start making out.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "We'll skin you like a squirrel, clean you out like a dirty fucking chimney, and wear you like a glove puppet with my fingers sticking out of your dead fucking eyeballs.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "I cannot endorse that message, but I do acknowledge it.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "How about Captain Loser? Or Big Chief Skidmark?", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Is that your son? He's gifted.", "c": ["Selina Meyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I meant southeast gate.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Data"}, {"t": "No, I didn't send her a get-well card 'cause you don't get a get-well card when you have plastic surgery.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I'm so tired, I could sleep a horse. Or whatever that word thing is.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I got all jacked up on licorice last night and I was belly dancing till dawn.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Imagine being detained for two weeks just 'cause you're a journalist and a shithead.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "It's a good job we had nothing to do with his being detained. - Yeah, wouldn't that be terrible? - Mm-hmm.", "c": ["Mike", "Gary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Wait, did we have something to do with...?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "And you know what amazing men get? - What? - Two-day weekend. - This weekend? - Yeah. - I'm going to the cottage with Wendy!", "c": ["Amy", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "It's the one and only time anyone's ever gonna say that.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Let's cure diabetes or learn Italian.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I gotta run around like a Labrador or a guy on fire or something like that.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "She's fucking nuts.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "They got the shakes so bad, I think I see the plane rattling.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "These guys could be drinking jet fuel.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I could, like, bang a nail into that wall with my gaze.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "That finishing sentences thing is... - Irritating? Very. But sometimes necessary when people are being slow or dull.", "c": ["Amy", "Reporter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "No people skills. Like a robot.", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Maybe that's 'cause they invented numbers, huh?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "See that? Catlike reflexes.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "In my family, basketball is a religion. Also Catholicism. That's actually the main one.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "It's for my friend's son. - Who should he make it out to? - Sue Wilson. He's named after me.", "c": ["Jonah", "Staff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "L is for ladies who play tennis, G is for guys who do other guys, B is for bisexual... I couldn't think of one to go for that... and T... - Is for tucking it in or tacking it on.", "c": ["Jonah", "Staff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Thanks for killing my joke and then mutilating it.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Well, as my grandfather never said, let's go be inclusive.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I could not be more likable if I had given both of my kidneys to some sick kid.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Ma'am, we're in a tea totalitarian state.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I put the champagne in the water bottles. - You don't have to explain. I can tell what you did.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "The last surviving Golden Girl.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "A speech is a speech. Phonemes connecting to produce meanings.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "When I was a... boy, it was my gay friends who taught me how to be tolerant and how to be true to yourself", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "and how to dance to Madonna. - Madonna? - What? Was I supposed to say that?", "c": ["Doyle", "Staff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "You know, back in college, my... girlfriends would... Boyfriends... my friends...", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "He is the asshole of an asshole's asshole.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "A face I never thought I'd want to kiss. - I still don't.", "c": ["Mike", "Leon"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'll have something to say about it on TripAdvisor. - Worst minibar ever.", "c": ["Leon", "Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Both countries had to deny the visit, but now we confirm. Wait, both countries? Uh, his English isn't very good.", "c": ["Abbas", "Leon", "Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Not that you guys are planning one. I... ignore me. I don't know why I said that.", "c": ["Leon"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "So let's celebrate all things L and GBT. Huh?", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "respect all people's rights to be a Q. Or rather just Q. Yeah, just Q.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Sounds like he's learning a sex alphabet.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I've seen a salmon in a grizzly's mouth look less panicky than that.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Ironically, the straight guy is very stiff around the gay guy.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Yet again, the left hand has no idea what the right hand is doing and the freakish middle hand is punching me repeatedly in the tits.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "But it's only been, like, six weeks and three days, so I'm not sweating it.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I kind of feel like hitting on it.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I can make you so rich, you can pay Bill Gates to give you a lap dance.", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "And fired. Yeah, don't forget fired. - Fired up...", "c": ["Sidney", "Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "But are you ready to take a dump on Mike McLintock's doorstep?", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Like an initiation kind of thing? No, I mean, can you take on clients who are best served by you shitting on the Meyer agenda?", "c": ["Dan", "Sidney"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sure food is the last thing on your mind. I know it's the last thing on my mind. - I wonder if you're hungry, though. - Yes, I am.", "c": ["Selina", "Leon"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "It's a... It's deodorant.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Not fully into the blender. Maybe just a little bit. Just the toe, 'cause...", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I can ride her hard, hang her up wet.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "And I wish I could have visited every country in the whole world. You know? Even New Zealand.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "So, just to clarify, you were delayed by a day. - Yeah. - My release was delayed by a day. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.", "c": ["Leon", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Christ, it's that data fuck.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Give him a handjob if you have to, just get it done, okay?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "That is bad. - Yeah. - That is bad. - It is bad. And Leon wanting to say it's bad is really bad. It's worse.", "c": ["Mike", "Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Are you seriously detaining me again? Am I being rendered? No, you're being friendered.", "c": ["Leon", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "So just please accept our compulsory hospitality.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "My gosh, you look like a middle-school teacher.", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Finally, something good to watch on the idiot box.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "You'll figure it out. Listen, you give me glac\u00e9 cherries, and I'll give you a bed of money with pussy on the nightstand.", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "an American she deliberately did not de-detain.", "c": ["Leon"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "either get Leon's mom to the air base or buy yourself a very convincing wig.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "It's 'Black Hawk Down' with Laurel and Hardy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Bill, of my various walking paces, I selected moderate to fast.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Pardonne. Pardonne. - That's French!", "c": ["Mike", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "The man whose dream vacation is hunting the street kids of Rio on a human safari.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I've never had strong feelings for a plane, but right now I would cheat on Wendy with that thing.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Uh, Teddy's been touching me. Or tea.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "he cupped my testicles. On another occasion, he patted or tapped on my testicles. And then on another occasion, he held my testicles for a significantly long time.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Guess what. I just got engaged. Are you fucking kidding me? Catherine's there, too?", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Okay, we got nothing out of that but a funny story.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Jesus Christ, the Chinese can 3-D print a hundred houses in that time.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "In a dry country, the man with all the booze holds the cards.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Why in the name of pixelated fuck would you do that? My God!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "use the word, I don't know, cupcake instead of data and use happy instead of bereaved or something.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "in targeting happy parents after stealing cupcakes about their dead children.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I'm supposed to have my finger on the button. But for all I know, it's been rewired and I'm just operating some sort of light in a closet somewhere.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I'm gonna treat him like my own brother, ahem, who I had murdered back in '86.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "You could say that the president's Iran visit puts a delicious glac\u00e9 cherry on the cake of Selina Meyer's tour.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "That is Cirque du Soleil suicide bombing.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm on a life-support machine and they keep pulling the plug to charge their phones.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "We've got about 10 seconds to drink everything and then eat the bottles.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "More minds the merrier. That's a saying, I think.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "My specialty... Common sense.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "Hey, Catherine, about earlier. - The molesting. - What?", "c": ["Jonah", "Catherine"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna make it to the cottage, Wendy. I'm in Iran.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "No, you're not. - Yes, we are. - But we are. I'm 48. Put your hand down.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine", "Jason"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "I'm not snacking. I'm on my diet. It's a celery stick. All right, it's a cookie.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Tehran"}, {"t": "\"Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.\" - (crowd cheers)", "c": ["Roger Furlong"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "It's clear that I'm a man, isn't it? I haven't been carded for years. Like, three years.", "c": ["Jason"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "You know, like living next to a highway.", "c": ["Unknown staffer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "It sounds like you've been kidnapped by the Taliban.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Well, I am such a zucchini fan, I practically photosynthesize.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "as crammed as a drug mule's poop pocket", "c": ["Unknown farmer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "You ever hear of Jonah Ryan? No. Old buddy of mine. We go way back.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "the only people left in DC work at CVS", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "All sciences are precise. That's what science means.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "He's half dead. - Half dead? - Yeah, he's been half-acuted.", "c": ["Sue", "Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Like being decapitated but surviving. Happens to chickens a lot.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Wow, dead kids... That never sounds good unless you're a stressed-out single mom.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "There's only one midget I'm gonna let tell me what to do, and I'm gonna go tell her that I'm done.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "What's she gonna do, pin a dick on Gary and give him the job?", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "She's fucking ethnic! This is Latinageddon.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I wish I was that guy on death row. Apparently he's vomiting black bile.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "He gets sexy Mexi. What am I stuck with? Doyle? Steve Martin's boring older brother.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "There is no way on God's green cock that you can get out on matter of principle.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "he's been fondling Jonah's balls like he's trying to figure out what the prize inside is.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "It's like Christmas except happy.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "God, you'd think they could do that right. Death row... the clue is in the name.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Isn't that spooky? Not even remotely.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "There's no way it could be on the fritz. Just doublecheck and see if it is.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Eggnog latte if it's in season. Is it? No, it isn't. Okay, I'll have a skinny cap.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I'm the wheel-greaser. I'm the puppet master. A man of many nicknames. Poonslayer.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "She and I are closer than two fat guys in an elevator.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Wait, actually, it's long for Amy.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I think you must have given the go-ahead for Pearl Harbor.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I had Chungmania mania.", "c": ["Danny Chung"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "And my Bible. Although she is my Bible, so that's two Bibles.", "c": ["Danny Chung"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Oh, that's nice. Fuck off, I'm busy.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "30 years as a senator and your asshole's getting more screen time than your face.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I understand you've been twirling Jonah's balls like they're some kind of exotic stress reducer.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I wish someone would sexually assault my staff. And by staff I mean penis.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "which of us hasn't gotten off in some guy's junk? You know, just for a laugh?", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "And that goes double for fondling Jonah.", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "And you never know. Someday somebody might just... (imitates gunshot)", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "The shitty, two-faced, fat fucking turd said no.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I like Tom James and I hate everyone.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "He died. - Oh, finally, right? It's one less thing to worry about.", "c": ["Sue", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Actually, I have very little sense of taste. Hence the tie.", "c": ["George Maddox"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Not that you don't. Though people say you don't.", "c": ["George Maddox"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Yeah, shoe polish and he never even shared.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I guess we could all eat pussy all day long, too, right?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's why we 86'd him, Mike.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I am an Ameri-can with a merry plan. I subscribe to a 'whistle while you work' philosophy. (Blows)", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Have you been sent from the future to destroy me? 'Cause it's working.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I think that each candidate has merits and demerits. And I don't know my left butt cheek from my right butt cheek, but I believe in listening to both butt cheeks and then farting out my asshole mouth.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I have bitten my tongue so long, it looks like a dog's cushion.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "You have two settings... No decision and bad decision.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I wouldn't let you run a bath without having the Coast Guard and the fire department standing by", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "You are the worst thing that has happened to this country since food in buckets and maybe slavery.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "The fact that you are a woman means we will have no more women presidents because we tried one and she fucking sucked.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "The fact that you are a woman means we will have no more women presidents because we tried one and she fucking sucked.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Well, that was clearly about me. She's just one of those women who resents powerful women.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Like Evel Knieval. - Yeah. - No, better. Lovely Knovley.", "c": ["Mike", "Ben", "Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "He has one skeleton. You're looking at her.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I could murder and make a lampshade out of a Manhattan.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I could murder and make a lampshade out of a Manhattan.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Madam President, I... I had a feeling that this was in the wind. Sure, okay. Yeah. I'm afraid, with deep regret... Oh, my God. That I'm going to have to accept.", "c": ["Tom James", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "I'm afraid, with deep regret... I'm going to have to accept.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "This is the best announcement since all those pandas got pregnant.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Your champagne's been laced with polonium. I mean, not really. It's just to lighten up the moment a little bit.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Well, you know, it's funny because we actually bumped teeth there.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Convention"}, {"t": "Tom's awkward response to wedding question: 'She's way out of my league. That's the correct answer.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "Tom's overly careful qualifier: 'I mean, within obviously acceptable propriety and so on'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "Funnel cake physical comedy escalation ending with 'So fat. Thank you. No, don't talk anymore. No.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'No, what I said was Amy Brookheimer had issues, not problems. No, she got mad. She's not mentally mad.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "No, she got mad. She's not mentally mad.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'You are the sun, I the moon. Of Jupiter. Not even one of the good ones.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'You know, a wolf is actually a pack animal. I'm more of a lone squirrel.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "Fun fact... The Wright brothers used their bicycle repair shop to make the first airplane. - I knew that.", "c": ["Mike", "Tom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Fun fact... we're running a campaign here, not a bake sale.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "Selina's sexual tension delusion: 'Did you get a load of that lone squirrel comment?' 'And that means?' 'Exactly.'", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'We almost... Kissed?' 'Fucked.'", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'And it's about to take North Carolina from behind.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'We have the full power of the National Weather Service, Mike.' 'Sure, but this is a really good app.'", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'It's like a morgue full of dead librarians.'", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'This place is leaking bodies faster than a Chinese ferry.'", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'A joke's not a joke unless everyone can laugh at it.' Response: 'This is what I have to look forward to... A bunch of fucking half-wit jokers trying to grab my balls.'", "c": ["Unknown", "Jonah"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'I was veep, they polled other candidates, fucked me in my slack old ass. Sound like a best seller?'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'I don't want to break a tit. They weren't cheap.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'I did do the Tour of Italy 2008, but my mountain times were embarrassing.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'I should be riding in a basket in the front like E.T.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.44, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'The only thing I can see is my eyeball. That's a great image. Vital, dynamic.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "Amy's text: 'You looked sweaty on TV yesterday. Are you going through the change?'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'I suggested that a week ago and I was shot down like a hang glider over the Pentagon.'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'I have more White House staff than the White House. And a whiter building.'", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'I'm like Picasso and I'm stuck painting fences.'", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'VP Doyle's a lame duck. And you know what you do with lame animals?' 'You care for them.' 'You shoot them dead.'", "c": ["Jonah", "Richard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Not co... I don't get corns.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "the cold got to us and then you decided... you wanted to walk home. Yeah, I love to walk at night.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'You're a guy, okay? You can't have any idea what I'm talking about. That's right, I am a guy. And Tom's a guy. You want me to talk to him like guy on guy?'", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'I'm going commando at tomorrow's pancake brunch.' 'What? No underwear?' 'What? No. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that'll win me the election. A nice shot of my beav.'", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Dan Egan is back. Like denim and measles.'", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'I hope your vagina falls off.'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "it chews you up and it shits you out and then you are left with nothing but the night sweats and flashbacks.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Am I the only man that he...' 'As far as we know.'", "c": ["Jonah", "Ruth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Jesus fucking Christ. You all look like me. This is a nightmare. It's a fucking nightmare.'", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "Jesus fucking Christ. You all look like me. This is a nightmare. It's a fucking nightmare.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Well, you do have that one purple shirt that looks a bit blousy, but...'", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "It's just it's his right ear that's freakishly large. No, his right, my left.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'No, you flip when you see holes. Bubbles is too soon. Holes, not bubbles.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Fun fact... scopolamine was first used as a truth serum by the Czechoslovakian state police. How is that fun?'", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Well... it's either surprisingly little or surprisingly a lot.'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'This is just a Swiss suicide clinic with a hint of jojoba.'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Which, when you have a bag instead of a bowel, is not good.'", "c": ["Bernie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "Which, when you have a bag instead of a bowel, is not good.", "c": ["Bernie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Who's, uh... who's achin' for some bacon?'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Well, spoils of war, handsome. You want top clients, be more like Amy. Or better.'", "c": ["Sidney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'You are Beyonc\u00e9. He is backup bootie.'", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "You listen to me. You are Beyonc\u00e9. He is backup bootie.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Ma'am, you've got to get back to DC faster than a speeding drunk.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Yeah, six hours till flying cow time.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'Hell, yes. I mean, no offense meant, Sue, but when it's just you and me, it's like it's just me.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'I have had it with her category five fucking snoot.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "It was actually free. I updated my software and it just appeared on my screen. And I was like, 'What is this thing?' And I just picked it up.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'It fell at the first fence and it got shot. And now some French fucker's got it in a baguette.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'A number of tall women were molested and Mr. Ryan was one of them.'", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "'This isn't damage. Just some shitty building.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "O'Brien just pulled a teddy bear out of the ruins of a house.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "Come on, let's go. You don't have to say hi to them. We've already said hi to these folks. Come on.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Storms and Pancakes"}, {"t": "You don't have the cheekbones for depression.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "it's falling apart like a punched wedding cake", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Take this fork, stab me right here in the carotid.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "You are the most influential Mike person in the world.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "That's basically a quiz on the entire world.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "I'm not sure what a fake car would be exactly.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "I should be president or something.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "That would have been a mistake. Huge mistake. It was lacrosse players.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Did you all have tattoos?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Did you have to kill a guy? You could pardon yourself now.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Plus we had tits and ass. So we had the whole thing going for us, really.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Well, that's fucking not good.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Yeah, and that they don't demand more gun control.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "He's got a thoughts and prayers template.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "If I keep going at this rate, I'm gonna have gout of the mouth.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "in a way that is deeply feminist... in a way that's deeply capitalist.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Are we at war with clay?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Oh, I know this. It's candy.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "This place is like a porn shoot with bunting.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "And it's about as doomed as my donut habit.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Just like that Jesus guy.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "put it up on craigslist or something?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Well, that's the dream, certainly, but I'm not sure we'll achieve it in this generation.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Well, that sounds like the world's worst Dr. Seuss book.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Jesus Christ, Bill, you're shaking like a dog shitting a peach pit.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Gary, every room you're in is a panic room.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "What are you going to do with a clock? Tell him he's late?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "He comes here to kill me and he doesn't even know my name?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "It's like if dogs could talk.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "That's exactly how it was, dumbass.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Sa-shi-mi... Listen to the shus and the mis.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Yeah, help you forget about being molested.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Oh, duck 'cause I ducked. Very clever. Very funny.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "I'll take all of it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Ah, to be 20 years younger, right? I would be in diapers.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "My God, where were you born, Lake Homo?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Calamity James. And that's just off the top of my head.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Just get him off, you fucking mannequin.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Just get him off, you fucking mannequin.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Are you trying to hitch a ride? What is that?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Why the fuck did you bring up balloons if we don't have them?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "So I'm in the firing line for the second time today.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "words don't kill people, unlike guns, which can and did. Which is bad. It's so bad.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Yeah, he just made an enemy of every stupid person with a gun, and there are a lot of those.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "You might be the smartest woman I've ever paid for.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "I don't have a magic car or whatever he had.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "You'll tie a ribbon around Elvis's sagging, rotten ball sack if we ask you to, Mike.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "It's like they took the word brain tumor and changed it to Selina Cyst.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "He's going freestyle. God, that is so fucking gangster.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Sir, awesome and amazing had a baby and it grew up to be you.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "awesome and amazing had a baby and it grew up to be you.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "It's like words are your second language, sir.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Don't know why I said T. My middle name is John.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Surprisingly well. Like vodka and cereal.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Well, construction brings builders. Builders bring sex workers. And sex workers bring STDs. A virtuous circle.", "c": ["Alex Barry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Plus I had my whole face done.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "I have been sober for 27 hours, so let me take that off your hand while I jump off the wagon.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Come on. All I did... I just went... How can anybody not love him? He's like your dad except he's nice.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "I like my bourbon like I like my women... 18 years old and wet.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "I'm not. I mean, he wasn't gay. He was just an asshole.", "c": ["Anna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "What's for dessert, a tub of ice cream and four spoons?", "c": ["Friend"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Fuck my face.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Fuck my face.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Thank God, because tax law was never your strength.", "c": ["Deborah"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "What's 15%? What's 15%?", "c": ["Friend"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "The Meyer campaign used the health records of dead children to target and appeal to voters who were recently bereaved parents.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "The Meyer campaign used the health records of dead children to target and appeal to voters who were recently bereaved parents.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "You know, those kids have been dead for a while.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "You know, those kids have been dead for a while.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "I'd like to press his meat.", "c": ["Friend"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "It's really difficult talking to you now that you're sober.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "No, Gary, it's the same one. He's doing a victory lap.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "I shook Jack Nicholson's hand and I thought, 'If this hand could talk, it would say 'wash me.''", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Well, if the intruder kills you, Mike, then who's gonna announce your death?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Your face looks kind of like a sad egg.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "The only person who's interested in killing you, Deborah, is here in this room.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "The only person who's interested in killing you, Deborah, is here in this room.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Mommy Meyer"}, {"t": "Go get yourself 10 sodas and you never saw us. Or just water. Just choose water.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I don't even paint my own nails, Gary. A Vietnamese lady does that.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I am very good at my job, and even I can't get people to vote for that heap of mystery meat.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "She has gone full Colonel Kurtz.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Is she giving orders from under the desk?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Loyalty? Money. Can't you just do this for Selina? No.", "c": ["Dan", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Nobody shakes hands in a craft shop.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You know, at least three of these kids are probably mine.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "No, no, let me get that, you sweet little invalid.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "God, Gary, I wish to Jesus that you had gotten this flu instead of me. Oh, my God, me, too. Me, too.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "And that is a Gary Walsh executive order.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "211 are voting against the bill. Five undecided. And we've got three yeses that we're working on turning around into nos. So defeat is within our grasp.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "There's also a cool tile game on here if you want to play a game. A what? A tile? Which, of course, you don't want to play.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "What I don't know, I can't lie about. Including this, whatever this is.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "We're asking people to vote yes. We're doing what we should be doing. We're just doing it badly.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I think I just sneezed up part of my pancreas.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Mike. We have a team of our worst people on this. Cazzelli, Lennox. The usual saps. Jonah, Richard.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I didn't hear any of this because the acoustics are so bad.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "How did they write this thing? Get drunk and tape crayons to their feet?", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Two giant children in their dads' suits.", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "We've glanced at the numbers, sir, and at first glance they are very compelling.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You don't know where the door is. I'll show you. It's over here.", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "So if I can offer any web design or support... Sir, can I ask you how you're going to vote today? No. Is that no as in I can't ask you or no as in...", "c": ["Richard", "Congressman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You know, you just started that last sentence with a 'we' and you finished it with a 'you.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "There is nothing like a Boston wedding. Let me tell you that. Wow, that was worryingly good, Tom. I mean, that was some black belt jujitsu bullshit right there.", "c": ["Tom", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "When was yours sent? When was yours sent? I asked you first.", "c": ["Gary", "Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Yeah, ahem, or maybe I can get a new doctor. In which case I'll just say keep taking the fluids, ma'am.", "c": ["Selina", "Doctor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm captain of the Titanic and I carved out the iceberg myself.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I can sleep when I'm dead in about an hour.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Not since Herod has there been a piece of legislation so damaging to average families.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "This is akin to carrying out heart surgery with a pair of spoons.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I don't need to be ridden by you two lobby horses to know that this bill is a waste of bowel space.", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "And spoiler alert, they do not add up.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Six-foot waxwork and his cuddly boyfriend?", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Call the 'Washington Post.' I smell conspiracy.", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Okay, sure, so why is this one shaking like Elvis's leg?", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "The president is qualified to be president because she is president. Does your party have a candidate who is president?", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I was just sending a memo. I didn't want to keep interrupting all the time. That is very considerate. Thank you.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Send memo. Jesus. I'm not getting any memos. Oh, now I am.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "And you've got to be aggressive, though, you know? Man up here a little bit. Be aggressive? I'm starting to get really angry, Senator.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "That's it. I'm throwing the debate. You win, pretend opponent.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Oh, one. So one's okay. We just let off one nuke at the Super Bowl.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I didn't hear any of this 'cause I have a really bad case of tinnitus, especially when discussing morally dubious things. So it's kind of like sinnitus.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "But I'm implicated. I'm the linchpin. I could go to jail!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "This isn't about you, Gary. Jesus, nothing here is ever about you.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Listen, Sue, I'm involved with some stuff here. Scary stuff like take it to your grave kind of stuff. And that's the... that's the way I like it.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I'm kind of having fun. I like having a cover story. Makes me feel like a Charlie's Angel.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Jesus, you know, I always thought the old Amy was kind of an uptight bitch, but now I sort of miss her.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "What, you mean not funny?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "No, mine was the master list. Your list was a sub-list. It was a sur-list, which means over-list.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Your earwax could bring down a president.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "And then we're gonna have to destroy the evidence and that's conspiracy to commit fraud. No, a cash trail is very fucking bad for us.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "There, you've been blooded. So join the circle jerk. Grab a dick.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Wish I could hear what you were saying over that incessant drilling sound.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "But you're not. Oh, my God, now you are! Well done. Now I feel a lot better.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "My future depends on that dumb fucking elf?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "And your support will shrink faster than a penis in the December Hudson.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You shit-eating cocksuckers.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "That's exactly what you just did, dumbass.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "She's probably gonna die just to spite me. That evil bitch.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Well, this is a long glass of frozen strawberry fuckup.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I don't want to be a bagman for the toughest guy in D block.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You shouldn't even be here, Jonah, unless you're giving your brain to science.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Do you remember her? She's the woman that would have fired you if you hadn't gone fucking Fukushima.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I am surprised the two of you even found your way out of your own mothers' vaginas. Oh, my God, dude, I got out of there like I had a fucking map.", "c": ["Amy", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Do you think I want to be in this fucking Minecraft piece of shit?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You colossal fucking fanny pack.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You're so stupid, you don't even know that you're being used for your stupidity.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I took a precision driving class, Dan. I think I know what I'm doing.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "We should have hired Navy SEALs instead of those two actual seals.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "How do you lose a whole person? A cuff link I get, but not a person.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You guys are. You're parasites. You're like an infestation of mediocrity.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You're Fozzie Bear who's been ripped up and used to smuggle heroin.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Call NASA. They've got to have a satellite that can pinpoint a moron.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "If you want to catch a fugitive, you got to think like a fugitive. Where's he going? Uh, to the airport. Why would he be going to the airport? To catch a plane, Dan.", "c": ["Jonah", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "That's the kind of shit that comes back to bite you when you run for office. Yeah, that's what's gonna hold you back.", "c": ["Jonah", "Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Okay, new rule in the Cube. If your name begins with D, you need to shut the fuck up immediately. I'm fine because my name begins with an R.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Not if we shorten it to Dick. Well, I mean...", "c": ["Dan", "Richard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "But she might get better. Or she might not get better. She could be buried with a book.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm about to kick it old school and die in office.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Guess I should kill it. Is the right answer.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You could grow tomatoes in here.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You can't come in. That comes from the president. Well, she's a bitch.", "c": ["Tom", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "See you later, ghosts of staffers past.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I brought him also, ma'am. Richard Splett. She already knows who you are. You can go. No, no, no. Not you. Not you.", "c": ["Richard", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Dallas. I love Dallas, Texas. No, it needs to be a foreign city.", "c": ["Pierce", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "J'adore Paris. I've never been, but it looks amazing.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Okay, the president, she wants me to vote against her bill? Am I being stupid here? Yes. Yes. No. I mean, you're... No, you're not being...", "c": ["Pierce", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "You can have Paris. What? I can have Paris? Wow, thank you.", "c": ["Gary", "Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "For a moment, Gary was the most powerful person in the world.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "We'll call him after the vote, tell him it's Mogadishu.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "He even walks dumb. Every time I see him, I hear circus music.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Come on, Owen. It's your time to shine, you dim fucking bulb.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Apart from, like, having a raccoon take a shit in my head.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Look, I wouldn't ask you to do anything I wouldn't do myself. And while that isn't true, find some comfort in it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "She sounds like an underwater Bob Dylan.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "Fuck you, America.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "That's why I included the second glossory.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "How do you leave a memo in your sleep?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "B/ill"}, {"t": "I would never, ever let that happen. And if it had happened, which it absolutely did not, I would make sure that something was done about it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Don't touch me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Rain gonna fall, bar's gonna close, bill's gonna fail.", "c": ["Cafferty"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "There's a job for you at Hallmark, Mr. Cafferty.", "c": ["Committee Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "If I had kids, which actually I do,", "c": ["Cafferty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "this bill would be my baby. I and the entire White House, we sweated a full transfusion of blood to pass this bill.", "c": ["Cafferty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Read my luscious lips, no.", "c": ["Cafferty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "You're not telling me the difference, you're just turning nouns into verbs.", "c": ["Committee Member"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I'm sorry that I misconducted myself and I will not do that in to the future.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Dan Egan is a solid five and a half, weak six.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I mean, you could have Googled that.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "we set fire to the wicker Dan.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "You make it sound like there's a correlation between what should happen and what actually happens.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "be that individual an actual person or a corporation.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "That shoehorned stab at nobility will not fly here.", "c": ["Committee Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I think it's interesting that you chose me to aim that question at, insinuating that I am a money-grabbing, careerist, low-moraled... I don't know why I'm helping you here.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "So it's not a word combining Jonah and gonad?", "c": ["Committee Member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "J-Rock, Jizzy Gillespie, Jack and the Giant Jackoff, Gaylien, Tinker Balls, Wadzilla, One Erection...", "c": ["Committee Member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "The Pointless Giant, The 60-Foot Virgin, Gimpanzee, Jonah Ono, Hagrid's Nutsack, Scrotum Pole, Transgenderformers, 12 Years a Slave to Jerking Off, Benedict Come In His Own Hand, Guyscraper, The Cloud Botherer, Supercalifragilisticexpiali Dick Cheese, Teenage Mutant Ninja Asshole, Spewbacca.", "c": ["Committee Member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "My college friends called me Tall McCartney. I preferred that. That's a good nickname.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "The drama queen in me likes to say that they sacrificed me at Easter.", "c": ["Lee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "No, I value confidentiality and paradoxically I don't care who knows it.", "c": ["Lee"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "They thought I was a mouse. Well, this mouse will roar.", "c": ["Lee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Rat and roll. Deal?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Your judgment, ma'am, is unimpeachable.", "c": ["Lee"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "she was so junior, she may have well been working in the kitchens, with all due respect to the kitchens.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "what Jimmy Cagney would have called a good kid in my opinion.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "This is what I was afraid of. I'm being snowballed. I'm a victim of snowballing.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "a name gets mentioned, then gets mentioned again, and pretty soon everyone is mentioning it and then the whole thing snowballs and then there's an avalanche of snowballs and I'm being buried by other people's snow and it's not pure driven, it's not white snow, if you catch my drift.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "No, that was scapegoating. Again, apologies. You haven't asked me a question.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "It's not my fault. That's the difference.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Oh, that's... bravo, Bill. Subtly done.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Like a swan or Professor Hawking.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "You haven't seen it, so forget it.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "He's the bagman, yeah, but he's also the bad man.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "it was a smaller hearing and executive privileges were waived and now it's like a U2 concert.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "That's a fault of mine... Just kind of believing that people were friends and they're not friends. It's kind of been going on since middle school and you just caught me at a bad time.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Uh, it's very intimate. I've always imagined myself as like a pipeline who carries a lot of necessary information and I just feed it directly into her head.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Yes, and I have just then.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I'm a nobody. That's the truth. I'm a nobody.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I'm not a powerful, guilty, arrogant man. I'm an arrogant man.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Um, Gary has a very limited set of skills. Mainly I would say they are picking objects up and then putting objects back down.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I don't see that you're wearing a ring, so...", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I'm sorry about that. I just had to get a snack. My blood sugar was dropping, so...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I have to go. I've got to call the president of Africa. So... I mean South Africa specifically, you know, so...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "And, unlike in reality, I would have gotten Iwo Jima right.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I mean, I once met Bill Gates, but I didn't have a 'meeting' with him.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "None of which you seem to be able to master at the present moment.", "c": ["Committee Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Uh, I was getting some medicine. What kind of medicine? Um, it's knee medicine.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Crouch Cream. But that's not right. It's a white tube with a red label. I'm sure an intern could research this. It has a silhouette of a horse on it. I don't know why the horse is on there. I guess horses probably have good knees.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Knee-Z. Knee-Z Cream. I don't think that's it. It's searchable. I'm very positive.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Um, I had grown quite fond of dear Jason.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "This may be a good day for truth, but a sad day for love.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "you want to give me your number? Or I'll just send it to myself.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I guess that's why they say don't work with animals or technology. I mean, that's why 'Jaws' was such a nightmare shoot. I mean, mechanical shark, forget it.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Oh, Knee Free. That's the cream. Knee Free, if you...", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Probably about them... you know, mating.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I mean, why are you throwing pebbles at a tank?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "You know, that lady, she could govern herself through leprosy.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I don't have time for friends.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I was touched. Who touched you? I would rather not say at this time. Or any.", "c": ["Jonah", "Committee Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "he touched me in a private place.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "It was... it was around the other side.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Similarly with Ms. Brookheimer's dress. She can't have believed that this would work. She never looks this humble.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Like an Xbox.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Mr. Ryan, trust me, no one is playing us. We are unplayable.", "c": ["Committee Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "My... spheres were always clothed.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "I can't stop thinking about it. It's... you know, it's like a bell. It can't be unrung.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "It was around the spheres.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Gary Walsh, you need to understand, is a 12-year-old boy trapped in the body of a 12-year-old girl.", "c": ["Pierce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Do you want me to take off my shirt so that you can see all the knife handles sticking out of my back?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "It's like I'm on the sacrificial altar and suddenly everyone is wearing hoods.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "But Jonah Ryan is strong. And if Jonah Ryan can help one man who is dealing with workplace sexual harassment, then this entire ordeal will have been worth it.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "You know, there are probably fairer trials happening right now in the back of parking lots where the defendant is wearing a mailbag on his head.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "Sorry, I was practicing in the mirror.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Testimony"}, {"t": "History is calling, and it won't go to voicemail.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Amy, if he wins, our lobbying stock is gonna droop like a chimp's tits.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Off air I'm telling the Nazis that she's hiding in the attic.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "So, suck it, Fox.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Hey, wait, it's the testicle man. Guilty as charged. Check 'em, don't neglect 'em.", "c": ["Unknown", "Jonah"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "You're the face of workplace bullying and genital health.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Oh, man, election nights are my cocaine. It used to be election nights and cocaine were my cocaine, but...", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Then again, they said the Rapture was close.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Okay, settle down. A bowl of hair could win those states.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "What was that? I got, like, four seconds. Well, most people get just two.", "c": ["Jonah", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I'm saving that for when I go to prison. Even money they give you the chair.", "c": ["Bill", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I'll be thinking about that while I'm with whichever guy makes me his prison fianc\u00e9.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Fuck! / What? / Cramp.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "That was transcendent bullshitting.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "You're gonna win in a slide. You know, marginally.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Ah! These damn hotel carpets. I keep getting that static electric shock. You need one of those ionic bracelets that grounds you.", "c": ["Karen", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "It's the prison toilet situation which preys on one's mind. Defecating in full view of another man is unthinkable.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Yeah, Bill, put a cork in it, will you? You know, that actually may help.", "c": ["Ben", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "He's like a Native American tracker. He can hear it in the wind.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I could pardon you? That wouldn't look good. You'd be the first person to say that. I'm not entirely sure I would in this circumstance.", "c": ["Selina", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Hey, Bill, I got a lot on the line with my presidency right now, so I don't really have time to be thinking about your whatever the fuck it is. Probable imprisonment. Exactly.", "c": ["Selina", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Set up an office with Selina at the Betty Ford Clinic?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Politics bores me. It bores the living hell out of me. God, it's boring.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I only really know Amy as the woman who rushed everywhere clutching her phone like it contained her frozen embryos.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Works frantically to avoid dealing with her weird mix of lack of self-worth and narcissism. I really like her.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "That was the bad news, which in the end I didn't bear.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "The bigness. Mm-hmm.", "c": ["Dan", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "O'Brien can't be president. He's still contracted to be the KFC logo.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "About something specific, or...? Should the president and I have swapped roles? For? For the election. This election. There's an election going on.", "c": ["Karen", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Call me when you get this. Get someone else to dial if you're in a straightjacket.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Some of our viewers were complaining that you're shrill anyway, so... Oh, shrill? No, no, I'm never shrill.", "c": ["Greg", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Hey, could someone check the parking lot? I think all the alarms are going off.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Screw this whole sloppy, backseat blowjob of a night anyway. I don't give a shit.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "This is a 360-degree turn. It's 180.", "c": ["Unknown", "Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Rescinded is my new favorite word!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Look, look. Mom, CNN has it, too. It appears that Matty's domino is standing up straight again.", "c": ["Catherine", "News anchor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, you better unpack it. 'Let's see if we can unpack this now.' 'Oh, I've got pubic hair on my head.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Go back to the Shire, you fucking moonfaced hobbit.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I mean, you know, everyone's like, 'Oh, Tom James. Ooh, it's Tom James. He's so dreamy. Sign my tits, Tom James.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I don't want to be impotent. In your administration. Oh, right!", "c": ["Tom", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "You want to run my economy? Bank of Tom James.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I used six rolls of Magic Tape to stick it back together.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Want your face on money or something? Want that TV? Take it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "They supply 90% of the country's paprika. Yep, we lobbied for them, so my hands are dirty with paprika money.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I've known sailors less likely to go either way than this. I... pardon my ribaldry.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Fuck Iowa. I'd say nuke it, but I think someone already did.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I could crack a walnut in my ass.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Just remember, check 'em, don't neglect 'em. Nice. You guys remember the A-Team, right? A-Team? 'I'm the A-Team.'", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "they were supposed to be on the run, but, you know, they were in a really distinctive van. Yeah, what was up... What was up with that?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I know that my job can be hard on you and that was a bit of a bummer, huh? Yeah, just a little bit.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Yeah, and he was, like, 60. He was 35.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "men are horrible. Okay? I mean, I have to just tell it to you like it is, honey. But all men are awful. Really. And the key is to just find a man who's the least horrible.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Horrible.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "God, it always seems longer with Catherine.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Just something with real sugar. No sweeteners or I'll shit my pants.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "They're ghosts. You can't... you can't concede.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "This fucking job sucks anyway.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Time to turn that noose back into a necktie, buddy.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "I'm taking the White House. Please leave the hot tub on.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "We need to give them a hit of political meth.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Way ahead of you. Shit, I'm just getting how to tie a tie.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "You do your best. You try to serve the people and then they just fuck you over. And you know why? Because they're ignorant and they're dumb as shit. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is democracy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Is it a dance-off?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "So you mean that I might lose this election to my fucking vice president?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "At least it'd be somebody from our team, ma'am. I mean, that's good, right? I didn't mean to make her cry.", "c": ["Gary", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "With all due respect, you need to get your shit together now, lady. Ma'am up. You're still the leader of the free world.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "With all due respect, you need to get your shit together now, lady. Ma'am up. You're still the leader of the free world.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "A tie is unprecedented. So is becoming the first lady president. So is that jackoff becoming president through the back door.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "The rule book's been torn up now and America is wiping its nasty ass with it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "That fucking guy with his fucking charm and his fucking son and his fucking wheelchair with his spine all fucked up.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Amy Brookheimer who so successfully ran my campaign until she became unwell.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Ma'am, I seriously overstepped the mark going out onstage. That was a fuck-up. Yeah, I'll say. You might want to watch that if you become president.", "c": ["Tom", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Ma'am, I seriously overstepped the mark going out onstage. That was a fuck-up. / Yeah, I'll say.", "c": ["Tom", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Election Night"}, {"t": "Can we have the room? Fantastic speech, ma'am. The three Ss... strength, stability and bullshit.", "c": ["SELINA", "BEN"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I forgot to thank the voters for making our country look like a high school Spanish club.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Didn't those founding fuckers ever hear of an odd number?", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Two great Greek contributions to society... democracy and getting fucked up the ass. I've tried both and they're way overrated, like jazz.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "My bowling coach used to say a tie was like kissing your sister. Well, this feels like my sister took a shit on my chest.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "There is no world in which I am going to be vice president to that smug, Dick Van Dyke-looking motherfucker Tom James.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Oh, believe me, I know what she majored in. 65 grand a year to watch movies.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Okay, we don't have time to hear the story of your syndrome. What about your minor, dance? Why don't you make up a little kind of a dance about the election? You know, you can't decide should you dance or should you not dance?", "c": ["SELINA", "CATHERINE"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "You're gonna shatter the bulletproof glass in here.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Life gives you Yemen, you got to make Yemenade.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "The only thing Catherine ever finished was an entire ice cream cake.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Actually, four Christian missionaries burned to death. Oh, even better.", "c": ["BEN", "SELINA"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "This thing on the side of my face feels like a dog nipple.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "It's hardly noticeable, ma'am, like our Hispanic voter turnout.", "c": ["AMY"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I don't know what's getting their dicks harder, an electoral college tie or talking to a girl.", "c": ["AMY"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "It's a pimple that erupted during a very stressful time.", "c": ["GARY"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "For the stress pimple? Ben gets those on his butt. She should see a doctor.", "c": ["KENT"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Actually, Wendy was keeping it a secret from me until today because I'm so bad with keeping secrets.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "You're a nincompoop. We are in the middle of a tied election. There is no time for some Chinese baby.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Cancel it and see if you can get your money back. Fortune cookie say you fuck up big-time, round eye.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Too bad you're not counting your missteps. You'd be done by breakfast, right?", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "How many abortions does a pro-lifer have to pressure his mistress into before the people turn on him? Three.", "c": ["SELINA", "AMY"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Yeah, drive sober. Take a shit without getting a hernia.", "c": ["BEN"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I don't think that we're symposium on race desperate yet.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "There's only one person I'd be more surprised to see today in the Roosevelt Room and that's Teddy fucking Roosevelt.", "c": ["BEN"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "You're as welcome here as a swastika-shaped shit in a synagogue.", "c": ["BEN"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Oh, they all look alike to me. What? Not Chinese people, but pictures of children.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "The agency says she's either 16 months or three years old.", "c": ["MIKE"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "You ran one campaign for two weeks and had a nervous breakdown. That is medically inaccurate.", "c": ["GREG", "DAN"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Go out, win a race with a Jesus-loving homophobic homosexual or a racist billionaire.", "c": ["GREG"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Any chance they fixed the Wi-Fi? I'll check.", "c": ["SELINA", "GARY"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I am not quite seeing it, um, only because I'm... well, you are...", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "She smells completely different, so, you know...", "c": ["GARY"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "'Nev-add-a.'", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Nev-add-a. Oh, my God. I get to be president. I don't have to move.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Two. Constitutional law and veterinary medicine, which was my fallback. But you were getting my coffee. Which is much harder 'cause you have so many different moods.", "c": ["RICHARD"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I actually did my doctorate in recount procedures in the West. Excellent work, Richard. Richard works for me.", "c": ["Richard", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "This is highly enriched weapons-grade bullshit.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "She's Uncle Dursley and she's got the great wizard Harry Potter living under the staircase. Do you see that? But what happens in the Harry Potter books? He rises up and he kills all the muggles. I don't think that's what happens.", "c": ["JONAH", "RICHARD"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "The Dow is dropping lower than my balls on a hot summer day.", "c": ["BEN"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Zitzilla just stomped all over Wall Street.", "c": ["BEN"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "He says, 'The market crash caused a blotch on the face of America.' Is that about my pimple?", "c": ["AMY", "SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "You baked a fucking souffl\u00e9 on my face.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Did he just say zit? How come no one ever tries to assassinate a vice president?", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Like an empty cop car they park on the side of the road to slow speeders. Those cars are empty?", "c": ["BEN", "RICHARD"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I'm on it, ma'am, like brown on rice.", "c": ["BEN"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "No, he's... God, he's deviating from the book of the things that he should do. You mean off the rails. Oh. Fine, he's off the rails.", "c": ["SELINA", "AMY"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Look, regardless of the recount, this could mean big things for zucchini.", "c": ["AMY"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "You can't fire me, I quib. You know it's supposed to say quit. Well, I just fired you anyway. You can't quib, you rebard.", "c": ["DAN", "SELINA"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "We are doubling down on O'Brien, so you're basically as useless to me as a 40-year-old woman.", "c": ["Purcell"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "It's called POTUS. Pimple of the United States. There are 220,000 followers as of five minutes ago. How many Twitter followers do I have? Approaching that.", "c": ["KENT", "SELINA", "MIKE"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Oh, czar she blows.", "c": ["TOM"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Well, respectfully, Madam President, I hope you do because if the President of the United States can't tell the difference between Treasury Secretary and stock market patsy, that's pretty disturbing.", "c": ["TOM"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I have to balance that against my need not to do it.", "c": ["TOM"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I'm not picking up any respect. But you're getting the declining?", "c": ["SELINA", "TOM"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "If she does that to her own goddamn name, how the hell is she going to handle a potential recount?", "c": ["AMY"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "If she does that to her own goddamn name, how the hell is she going to handle a potential recount?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "All you're doing right now is making me hungry. So why don't you do something about that?", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Hi, it's Candi with an I. Amy with a Y. Which is correct.", "c": ["CANDI", "AMY"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "You know Jonah. He works for me. In fact, you two used to date, but you never got over him.", "c": ["RICHARD"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Cliff, my plate is just full of shit right now and I'd like for you to clean that.", "c": ["JONAH"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Well, I am enjoying a delicious sandwich made even more delicious by the fact that there's a homeless guy watching me eat it.", "c": ["DAN"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Right now you're about as toxic as a urinal cake in Chernobyl and I am offering you a job.", "c": ["AMY"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "18,000 steps. I am Chinese baby ready.", "c": ["MIKE"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I LBJ'd you, okay? I'm the LBJ queen and you are Sargent 'Suck It' Shriver.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Kind of like the national debt.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Kind of like the national debt.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "And this thing up my ass has got to get removed, too.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Then I declare a state of go fuck yourself.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I don't mean this to sound insensitive, but don't you think that mudslides are the funniest kind of natural disasters? I've always been partial to sinkholes. You know, ah! Those are hilarious. Nature's trapdoor.", "c": ["SELINA", "GARY", "KENT"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "What the fuck is going on here? Why are they all white? Looks like the NHL All-Star Weekend.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "We need to round up some blacks and fast. We need to round up... Don't say it over the radio, asshole.", "c": ["SELINA", "BEN"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "Faces from the savannahs of Africa to the cities and towns of England. Faces from... from Holland and even perhaps Norway.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "In your fucking face, Sue.", "c": ["SELINA"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Morning After"}, {"t": "I'm having reservations about the reservations.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "I'm meeting troops and shaking God only knows what.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "She's changed her mind more times than a frickin' child molester at Disneyland.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "find a rattlesnake and shove that up your dick hole 'cause it's a lot more fun than what I'll do to you.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Maddox is probably going to study the effects of legalized prostitution on his dick.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "maybe we can get some six-year-old Asian kid to fix it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.47, "im": 3.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "We're gonna name her Ellen after Wendy's mom. Actually, her stepmom. She has a difficult relation...", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "misunderstood your level of interest, sorry.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Seriously, I'm more Hispanic than she is. You know? Where's she from, Santo Connecticut?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "She summers in Vinyardo Del Martha.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "She's from El New Hampshire.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Harpo, Chico, and Shito.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Maybe they can find out what some of these people are doing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "This Olympic-size swimming pool of shit that I'm doing the backstroke in right now?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "You are looking at a guy on the master cleanse. I feel amazing.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "What in the lunatic fuck is the master cleanse? Sounds like Nazi domestic policy.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Little known fact about the Nazis... their polling numbers within Germany, through the roof. Unbelievable numbers. Though also tragic.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "The Jewish demo couldn't have been that good.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Not exactly take.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Or you could email me at splett2@splettnet.net. Splett1 is my father. It'll be sad to see him go, but it'll be nice to get my hands on that handle, you know?", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "What is wrong with you, you Paddington Bear-looking fuck?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "You guys have Michael Jordan sitting on the bench here, but you're starting Hakeem Olajutwat.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "You are a seven-foot-seven goony-looking Lithuanian who's gonna drop dead of Marfan syndrome.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Plus I would never miss the opportunity to dry fuck Jim Whitman up the ass.", "c": ["Bradley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "All right, let's hear it, Affirmative Action Jackson.", "c": ["Bradley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Well, Madam President, I've got big balls, but neither one of them are crystal.", "c": ["Bradley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Henry, you son of a bitch. I can lead a horse to water, but I can't milk it.", "c": ["Bradley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Can't milk it! I don't even know what that means.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "We called him Fatty Dicksuckle and B-B-Benny and the Jizz. Buttfucker.", "c": ["Bradley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Buttfucker, that's me. I can't believe you remembered my nickname.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "It says 'Fuck Selina Meyer.' If anything, that one should count for us.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "So it doesn't say 'Fuck Selina Meyer.' It says, you know, 'Fuck, Selina Meyer!' That's a testament to this voter's earthy but unambiguous enthusiasm for President Meyer.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "I'm sure the Dow is rocketing skywards as we speak.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be pulling down Clint Eastwood cowboy movie style pussy in these things. Except I'm not the man with no name. I'm the man with mo' game.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Afternoon, sir. We're here because your ballot was disqualified because your signature didn't match... okay, well, fooled me with that one.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Can Paul McCartney teach Kid Rock how to be a good songwriter? I mean, that's a bad example. Kid Rock rules, but...", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "A bit of an asshat? Actually, I was gonna say a champion for the middle class, but I kind of like your thing better to tell you the truth.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Two grand? Where'd you find that? In your sofa seat cushion?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "I think it was in my other pants, Madam President.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Not in jail for what she did to you.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Brooks Brothers sews prenups into all our suits.", "c": ["Banker"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Including our daughter.", "c": ["Female Banker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "some of your economic policies are what my friend Katie Gross likes to call fakakta.", "c": ["Female Banker"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Yeah, so did I. 'Cause I was at Smith. No, it's a Smith joke.", "c": ["Female Banker"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Sorry. You should read C.S. Lewis's book on grief. It's not as fun as 'The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe' series, but it's still pretty good.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Alav hashalom. Hebrew.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Well, I just came out West to play a little Cowboys and Injuns with Big Chief Suckum Choad here.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "How. Me suck pee pee in teepee.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.23, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "The other person in the room who looks exactly like Grimace.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "All right? It's got nothing to do with your body shape or your... the way your head goes into your shoulders so smoothly.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "I don't care for movies.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "It's bronze. Oh. Oh, bronze medal.", "c": ["Olympian", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Fuck am I supposed to do with this?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "I just sometimes need a little banking task force.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Well, ma'am, if you want, I can arrange a more discreet banking task force.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "I don't want that kind of banking task force. I want the banking task force that I want.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "We got... votes.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, this is my house. This is my house.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "I'm feeling light-headed. That bottle's my only source of blood sugar.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Stop with the Kabuki show and eat a fucking cookie.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Can you go tell him to fuck a bag of glass or something?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "So, economy czar, kids' birthday parties, reflecting pool boy.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Why did Tom James just wrap up his balls in butcher paper and put them in my purse?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "We used to call that a Jimmy Carter.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Come on, that's like saying that the cat doesn't like you or that table doesn't like you.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "In another person it would be bragging, but with you it's something different.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Oh, that was a fuck, comma, today, yes!", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "You didn't tell me faggy hair was here.", "c": ["Sophie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "I thought that Carson City was, like, part of Las Vegas. Vegas is 432 miles away.", "c": ["Sophie", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Sorry I'm not a 'where everything is' nerd.", "c": ["Sophie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "You know, I hardly ever did that with President Hughes. And even when we did, I was just kind of going through the motions.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "They call it the Pittsburgh of the South.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "It's actually just me. I'm an only child.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Well, what you have here is a classic two fires, one glove situation. And you need to know which hand to put the glove on.", "c": ["Bradley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "No, oh, wait a minute. You mean Nevada. Nevada. What did I say? You said Nebraska.", "c": ["Bradley", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "You know, I was over in the East Wing and I saw a painting of Sue holding George Washington's horse.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "He fucked me and then he fucked me? What, is he trying to fuck me?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Were you fantasizing I had some sort of a goatee and was on the wait list for a liver?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Over? I didn't even know it was a thing. Absolutely not a thing. And if it was a thing, it's over.", "c": ["Selina", "Charlie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Uh, he's a Charlie Baird.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Really? CBS? I would love to work at CBS.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Nev-AD-a"}, {"t": "Oh, loving it. Want another one? - Yeah, I do. - I'm really sorry. - I'm really, really, really sorry. - Now sing it.", "c": ["Unknown", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Even Wall Street's got a boner for you guys. - Really? The market's up? - No, it's flat. But not down is straight up for us at this point.", "c": ["Unknown", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "I got a great idea. Why don't we give the Chinese their own log-ins and passwords? Okay? Save everybody a lot of time.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "- Got a few fowl questions. - What?", "c": ["Unknown", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.15, "im": 3.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Charlie says O'Brien won't go down on his wife without biscuits and gravy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "I mean, seriously, do we have any reason to think that we're not as fucked as a Senate page here?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Christ, Kent, know your audience.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Hey, Garfield, we're right in the middle of talking about Nevada, okay?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "What Alan Turing is trying to say is if there are missing votes, he needs time to find them.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "And after I'm done dick slapping him, he will have agreed to delay certification.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "- Amy, set it up. - The injunction or the dick slapping?", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "I just... I feel trapped like a Saudi housekeeper.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, please, Bob, I would never stay at Caesar's.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Catherine, do not use any of the vulgar parts. - Yeah, but that's like all of it, Mom.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Dan, Sophie doesn't work for CBS. She works for CVS. You sold your dick for bulk iced tea and off-brand cough syrup.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Don't worry. You're gonna look really cute in a blue vest.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "I am not having a good year.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Because they're a sneaky bunch of fucks.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Sorry, Kent, Salt and Moon, new restaurant.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Well, Sue uses my name for POTUS reservations, so when I call, I get an amazing table.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Please, Marjorie, please. I have to talk to the president. - Please take a step back.", "c": ["Mike", "Secret Service"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Hi, ma'am. If you hear this, do not tweet. - Mike, what are you doing?", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Hi, ma'am. If you hear this, do not tweet. / Please, stop... ma'am?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "I just direct messaged Charlie. - No, it was public. Everybody saw it on Twitter.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "I pushed that feather button. - I know, you tweet... that's a tweet.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Gary, I did it the way you showed me to do it. - But that's not the way I showed you to do... - That's exactly the way that you showed me to do it.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "You better not.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Well, what the FOL are we supposed to do about this?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Phones are hacked all the time to steal pictures of celebrities' penises and whatnot.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Maybe the firewalls have more holes in them than a gold digger's diaphragm.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "My God, I hated those things.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Oh, no, ma'am, no. You have no idea what happened. And neither does Mike, who would be outraged by this.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Actually, ma'am, I have a better idea. - No, you don't, Mike. History has proven that.", "c": ["Mike", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "It's been the cornerstone of American foreign policy since the Spanish American War.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "And yet he's responding.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "You're the one who suggested we all live in the Matrix. - Ma'am, nobody chose to live in the Matrix.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Whose side were you on?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Have them what? Have them help us park in front of a fire hydrant?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "I don't know why. My only jobs seem to be asking Bob and finding out what Bob thinks.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Oh, but on your way, would you mind stopping at ABC News and picking up some Advil? Oh, did I say ABC News? I meant Rite Aid.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Good night, have a pleasant evening, and I had sex with your sister.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "You might actually want to go to Rite Aid. Get some Valtrex.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "You might actually want to go to Rite Aid. Get some Valtrex.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "No, no, that's impossible 'cause he's Mike McLintock", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "did you shave it off of Freddie Mercury's corpse?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "This is my fat johnson and you can suck it as long as you promise not to put your dirty gay mustache on it.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Jesus, you think I married that?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Christ, she looks like a Batman villain.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Does a bear piss in the shower?", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Yes! This is better than phone sex. - Well, I just came.", "c": ["Selina", "Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "One heck of a job, Amy.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Those things cause cancer, you know", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "What we have here is a classic thumb in the apple pie situation and Grandma is mad as hell. She spent all day cooking...", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "We all know you're as folksy as a butter churn lamp, but let me cut to the chase.", "c": ["Whitman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "there's never been a Whitman's Sampler I couldn't take apart piece by piece and shit out, Madam President.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "there's never been a Whitman's Sampler I couldn't take apart piece by piece and shit out", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "A lady president? Yeah, maybe in the year 2000.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Ned Mitchell died in 2006. And the 'Las Vegas Gazette' stopped publishing in 2007.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "which is not a newspaper, it's a legal brothel. But she did seem excited to help the campaign in whichever way she could.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "which is not a newspaper, it's a legal brothel. But she did seem excited to help the campaign in whichever way she could", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Ma'am, at his age, if he can take a shit whenever he wants, that's a major victory.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "this meeting cannot make it past the School Book Depository. I'm loading my gun and heading to the sixth floor.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Alzheimer's or no, I image-searched Susan Bailey and she is legit fuckable.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "This is like that famous scene from the movie 'Heat.' You know, with De Niro and Brenneman. Just thinking about that scene gives me goose bumps", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "This is like that famous scene from the movie 'Heat.' You know, with De Niro and Brenneman. Just thinking about that scene gives me goose bumps.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Well, hopefully she arrives before we all turn into fossils.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Yeah, turns out he's nuttier than a squirrel's diaper.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Sometimes up to 16% end up missing or thrown out. - Is that what this is about? - The missing ballots in Washoe County.", "c": ["Richard", "Whitman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Funny thing about elections, historically there've always been leftover ballots. Sometimes up to 16% end up missing or thrown out", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Holy bacon double Asperger's.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "And you can't say 'Meet the Parents' 'cause that's automatically number one.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "She's a fucking cunt. - You didn't hear it from me.", "c": ["Selina", "Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "In many cultures, the word vote can mean a myriad of things. It can mean a celebration. It can mean a dance around a fire. It can mean a silent nod.", "c": ["Amy's lawyer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "What kind of soup do you have today? - Um, what kind of soup is on your mind? - Well, what is today? - Um... it's Thursday. - Thursday? - Yup. - Navy bean. So delicious.", "c": ["Bob", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Bob Bradley. Nice to meet you, sir.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Otlow had grown more erratic following post office closures last year by the Meyer Postal Commission.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Can I not have just one minute to enjoy this? / I'll ask the Chinese", "c": ["Selina", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "Thanks, buttfucker.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "The Eagle"}, {"t": "You know, Wendy and I have been meeting with surrogates. She is so excited about my sperm being in another woman. It's weird.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Why is my hair all spinning around and these things, like you, are doing nothin'?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Is it too late to turn them into oil derricks?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Again?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "She's been at death's door like five times", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "It's just your toothy smile.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Looks weirder if you don't show your teeth.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, call Kent.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Wait a second, that's the O'Brien nimrod from the recount table.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "A fake protest. That is classic O'Brien. It's such a scumbag move.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Yep, I'll raid petty cash.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Amy, I thought you were talking about the recount. Don't ever, ever scare me like that again.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, is there a kettle or clothing steamer in here?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "But I made sure he had nowhere to sit.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "You brought a date. / I don't know her.", "c": ["Selina", "Andrew"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "She's a smart one. You can maybe pick up something from her.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "I just want to say my wife is obsessed with your spiced eggnog. We drink it year-round. / It makes a really yummy ice cream. / Shut up.", "c": ["Tom", "Monica", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "No, I definitely didn't give you that sweater. Not that color. No, I didn't.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "She calls me 'Monnie.' Sounds like 'mommy.'", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "I mean, the campaign's over. I don't have to pretend to like country music anymore.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Mee-Maw's favorite song is whatever is playing in the background at Neiman Marcus.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Honey, if I wanted to talk to an unconscious person, I'd book myself on Charlie Rose.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "She always wore dishwashing gloves when she gave me my bath. Which is why I don't do dishes. I just now realized that.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "So she's not gonna bounce back?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "It was just a cold sore, honey. I don't want to pay 40 grand for a herpes baby.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Yes... yes. I mean, a lot of people think that I'm Jewish, but that... no.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Our Lady... / ...of the Holy Womb... / ...of the Holy Womb. / ...Womb of Jesus.", "c": ["Mike", "Wendy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "There's not really a plug.", "c": ["Dr. Mirpuri"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, 'Stephen Hawking' here is indisposed, so I'll just...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "I just needed to get a break from the Hindu Grim Reaper out there.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "How is half a percentage point in the polls supposed to sweeten that shit biscuit?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "if you will, a 'death bump.'", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Well, that is some wild and heavy stuff. / Indeed. / Yeah. I got some real soul-searching to do.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent", "Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "I can turn around, ma'am.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "They were in the card your wife sent me when my cat Fibonacci passed.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Jesus, lose the fucking badge, man.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "What is that? What's 'totes'? / Totes, like all. Count all the votes.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "18 to 34-year-old women are gonna be distracted by that. The only thing that women 18-34 are gonna do when they see you on camera is file a restraining order.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "What do you pray for? / You, you know...", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "'O Lord God, it's me, Selina.' O Lord God. It's me, Selina...", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Lord, let her daughter, Thy humble servant, be the first woman elected President of the United States.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "No, I mean actually lift me up 'cause my heel is stuck in this thing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Sounds like you shoplifted a bunch of vibrators.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, my prayer worked, right?!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "You pulled the plug without me? / It wasn't a plug. It was a ventilator tube that they just...", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "We got good news about Nevada. - Wait, what? - We got good news from Nevada. - Mom?", "c": ["Staff", "Catherine", "Staff", "Catherine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Thomas fucking Kinkade couldn't paint Mee-Maw in a positive light.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "what it was like to be the only daughter of a pathological narcissist. I mean, all this woman did was criticize me or ignore me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Really? Protesters? This country's just lost its sense of decency. - Well, they're animals. - No, no. Heavens, no. - They're well-wishers.", "c": ["George", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, my goodness. I feel like a bride. A sad bride because, of course, this is a day of grief.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, my goodness. I feel like a bride. A sad bride because, of course, this is a day of grief.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Did Eleanor Roosevelt eat pussy? / Oh, Jesus. / Did she eat pussy or did she just fingerbang her way down Pennsylvania Avenue?", "c": ["Amy", "Unknown", "Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Did she eat pussy or did she just fingerbang her way down Pennsylvania Avenue? Fuck my mouth. I'm doing it again.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Apparently our born-again surrogate is super against DNR, so when POTUS pulled the plug on MOTUS, she started having second thoughts.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Billy Joel is gonna sing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "You're gonna cancel this recount like Anne Frank's bat mitzvah.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "though I think the DJ already spent the deposit.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll get assassinated.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "So who's fisting the American economy while he's here?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "How soon after meeting you did he ask you to invest in his latest venture? - 17 seconds. - Really? - I timed it.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Some can't-lose scheme about the third largest hotel chain in Brazil. / 'Can't lose.' / Can't lose. / Got to see if I still have my wallet.", "c": ["Gary", "Unknown", "Unknown", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "When do you have the time, then, Mom? When? Because you don't like Tim McGraw, then nobody is supposed to like Tim McGraw. Catherine, you are forbidden from saying the words 'Tim McGraw' ever again.", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Unbelievable. Mee-Maw was so right about you.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "They're into ass play? No, they have a gift for sensing prevailing political winds.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "They're wet-fingered. / They're into ass play?", "c": ["Ben", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "We lost the popular vote. / Oh, God.", "c": ["Kent", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "My mother had a good piano.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "I have lost... so much.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "Catherine, play the Tim McGraw thing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "your mother decided to leave the bulk of her estate to Catherine. / The bulk?", "c": ["George", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "I hated my father.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Mother"}, {"t": "and also for tax evasion.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Someone's got a case of the blue badge blue balls.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Maybe I can pardon a car with a defective airbag...and we can wrap up Michigan.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Can somebody reach around the back of Kent's head and power him down?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Any chance we can switch those? I'll turn the graphs upside down.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "250 people, no one from work.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Whip it good. What is that? Devo.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "But doesn't it just come up as unlisted?", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I'm sure that showing your anus gets you into all your regular social clubs, but this is the White House mess", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I hope you die a horrible death choking on a red, glistening dog dick.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Mom, you don't invite my friends to Thanksgiving dinner. I invite my friends to Thanksgiving dinner.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "My eyelids are seriously starting to look like Keith Richards' ball sack.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, please. He wishes.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "God, all that exercising and Glorious Leader still can't seem to take off a pound, right? That haircut's not doing him any favors.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "A De-bagging? Is that what you just said? I thought you said tea-bagging.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "No, no, no. That's my department. He means that literally. He doesn't know what the other thing is.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "That would make you a baby.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Let's send Tom James out as well. He's a tall drink of Xanax.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "His comprehension of the word no hovers somewhere around drunk college quarterback level.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I think that's genetic.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I try not to act like an alcoholic father who has just stepped on a Lego.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I'm fucking with you. Come on, let's go.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I hate to admit it, but sometimes I'm scared of Wendy. She still has a great rack, though.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Jesus, you look like a southern housewife who just burned her husband's dinner.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "No one should see you while your face is... marinating.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Well, I have a bachelor's degree in hotel management from Cornell University. No, you don't.", "c": ["Gary", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "No! He's the old face of this administration. This is the new face.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "It really hurts to roll my eyes.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I mean sell my sweet white ass on a street corner jonesing.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "You fucking people. I mean, you treat the Constitution like a build-your-own-pizza menu.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "We need to shut this down like a fucking public school for the arts.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Jesus, Mike. I'm gonna put a baby in you if you don't get your head in the game.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Christ, I thought he was gonna shit the bed. Instead he's doing turndown service and leaving a mint on the pillow.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "You know, that can be the difference between a three- and a four-star hotel.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, never mind. They all have that. House is like Caligula's room.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Bordello Bill is giving me advice.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Jeez, he couldn't eat a turkey unless you put it in a blender and fed it to him through a straw.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "CNN and Fox both say he's critical, but Fox says it with blonder hair and bigger tits.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Fuck me.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Why couldn't he have waited until after the weekend?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "If I had known that, I would have killed him myself.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Why are there two place settings? You know Charlie's not coming, right?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I mean, is it like anal bleaching? Because if it is, you should just come out and say that because the American people, they'll accept it in time.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "If she wants me to do her bullshit, she can tell me out of her own shining white asshole.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "More like a waste De time.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I will bring you back human ears for a necklace. I am your guy.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "It was just more a little bit of psychological indigestion.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Jesus Horatio Christ.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "And he also said he'd kick you off the ticket.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "See, there's that Doyle dazzle and I'm a big fan of it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Say, did Ben do this to you? Because I can get you to a shelter.", "c": ["Doyle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I love it. Domestic abuse jokes. They just tickle me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "You know what it could be? What? That you are fucking crazy.", "c": ["Amy", "Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "No problem. Fastest gun in DC.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Jesus, for the final time, it was not Vegas!", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, this is a giant, juicy, muscular Serena Williams but.", "c": ["Uncle Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "You don't give me names, Beardo. I give you names.", "c": ["Uncle Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "not since my wife caught me eating yogurt on the crapper.", "c": ["Uncle Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "You want to fuck my wife, too, don't you?", "c": ["Amy's dad"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "It's like a wererabbit.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "You want me to run for the seat.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Dear Lord who guides me and nourishes me, I set foot on this path that you have laid before me with a strong arm and a willing heart to totally rock this shit. Amen.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Of course, up against the Widow Sherman, it's gonna be like climbing Mt. McKinley with your balls stapled to a piano.", "c": ["Jonah's mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Ice bucket challenge can suck my dick.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I'm a MRSA infection. You don't get rid of Jonah Ryan.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "it's not my fault if Cousin Lezra ends up eating my nut dust and becoming the goofy Paul Simon to my angelic-voiced Art Garfunkel.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Now listen to me, you walking trisomy.", "c": ["Uncle Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, is it possible to get salmonella if you were to make love in a turkey's bed? I should add the turkeys were no longer there.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "is it possible to get salmonella if you were to make love in a turkey's bed?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Somewhere in the world there's a woman exactly my age getting her pussy eaten and I'm stuck here watching this.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "What is that?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I bet you there's about 20 pieces of corn in here. Could be more. Probably fit a lot of corn in there.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "That's the literal definition of bailing something out. / There will be no bailouts.", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Well, I hope to fiscal fuck the fed has a trillion dollars stuffed in a mattress somewhere.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Go to the ATM Monday and dust will come out.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Thanks, Kent's autism.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "At least when Truman made the decision to drop the bomb, he wasn't fucking anyone in Hiroshima.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "That we know of.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "That wood he's chopping, it's not gonna burn right.", "c": ["Focus Group Participant"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "His head is too big for his body. But then sometimes his body is too big for his head. He's the wrong shape.", "c": ["Focus Group Participants"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I was like, 'Run, kid.'", "c": ["Focus Group Participant"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Do you morons really not understand that this is a two-way mirror?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I work in the fucking West Wing, you Pepperidge Farm ad motherfuckers.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Sit your fucking mom jeans ass down, dude.", "c": ["Focus Group Participant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "How is Catherine there and also here?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Why does it keep doing the turning?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "We need a Jonah whisperer, except somebody who's gonna, like, yell in his face and call him stupid.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "You're just sitting here farting into my couch.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "It's in Annandale, Mike. No one from DC goes to fucking Annandale.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Then what's the point?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "You wouldn't know the smart move if it bent you over and fucked you with a Coke bottle.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I shouted it into my phone on the Acela Quiet Car.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "That's my final solution.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Some straight up JFK level shit.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "They said that we can't use the song 'Working Man' anymore because they find you odious.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Copyright shit went out with the Zune.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Copyright shit went out with the Zune.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "And if you listen to me instead of your only two brain cells busy butt-fucking each other somewhere in the vast expanses of your misshapen skull...", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Holy shit, are you here to beg me for a job?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Your banner makes it look like your name is Jon H. Ryan, so great job, communications department.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "How do you look so good with all this stress? You're glowing. You actually look younger. What did you do?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, he noticed. I have a new facial moisturizer. And a new soap.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Do you want to just have sex? / Yeah. / It's got to be quick, though. I got wheels up at 9:30.", "c": ["Charlie", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Make an appointment to freeze eggs.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Hanukah polls higher in Mecca.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I could lose them both. I mean, at this stage they're purely decorative.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "That's Korean for 'I hate you.'", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "You know what we call people like you back in my day? Retards.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "She's a retired second grade teacher, for Christ's sake. / Yeah, who sucks and gives too much homework.", "c": ["Dan", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "It's so much more agreeable than anything that gets dished out in prison.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I am fructose intolerant, you nitwit.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I suppose you need something to nervously shit out.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "So, who had 12:50 P.M.?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "It's always good to see the most left-swiped face on Tinder.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Ah, I just blew the lid off of Cuntgate.", "c": ["Leon"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Although you do have the perfect face for it.", "c": ["Leon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I was talking to her about how Wendy paid off my student loans and how I love her for it.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I guess when he had cancer, the doctors removed his ability to stop doing his kid's babysitter.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I don't recall that macaroni portrait, Mrs. Sherman.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Did you hear that dig about the macaroni portrait? Can you fucking believe that?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "The country, not the musical.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "If we don't put a plan into action tomorrow morning, then by Monday we will be Greece. The country, not the musical.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "You can tear them a six-pack of new assholes.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Dan, I cannot fucking believe how terrible you are at your job. What, are you running on a platform of higher taxes and episiotomies?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "What, are you running on a platform of higher taxes and episiotomies?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I'm gonna come up there myself and I'm gonna shoot you in your fucking mouth.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "You know, Selina Meyer is a second-rate mediocrity whose only achievement is single-handedly tanking the economy. But somehow we're the losers doing anal with each other?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "You know, Selina Meyer is a second-rate mediocrity whose only achievement is single-handedly tanking the economy.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Guess he couldn't get a babysitter. Or could he?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I took the liberty of arranging some hecklers. No charge.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "This is so much more beautiful to watch than the birth of my child.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "This is so much more beautiful to watch than the birth of my child.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "That sort of coarse language is far beneath the dignity of this room.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "She has gone full metal Nixon.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Gary, C is for cunt.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "We all called her a cunt.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Please don't get me a book for Christmas. I already have a book.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I already have a book.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I know you had an eye job.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Well, you can thank 'When Gary Met Sally' for that one.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Well, you can thank 'When Gary Met Sally' for that one.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "'Cause this definitely would have killed her.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "Pretty much, yeah.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "So who called me a cunt? Was it everybody? Pretty much, yeah.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "I can't stop smiling. / Neither can I.", "c": ["Catherine", "Marjorie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "C**tgate"}, {"t": "How did you know I have a minivan? - Just a good guess.", "c": ["Nickerson", "Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Ugh, yeah.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "I mean, my license expired a few years ago, but I get the general idea.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "My Donald. He has chemo today. (GASPS) Fantastic.", "c": ["Nickerson", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Check out the tits in the third row. I could dribble those things like basketballs.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Drop the puck? - Common hockey term.", "c": ["Reporter", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Oh, I just heard the buzzer. That is the end of the third period. See you at the next face-off.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Well, I suppose putting a few pictures up of Muhammad never hurt anyone.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "She's a lesbian, Mike. She's not a werewolf. Although either one would explain why she never shaves her legs.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "When does the White House's most useless press secretary list come out? I can't wait to see who's number one this year. - I voted for Mike.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "I don't think you're in it this year, Ame.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "There you go, Amy. Problem solved.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Who's 22? The Elephant Man?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "This year? It's the 50 Hottest Staffers, Jonah, not the 50 people most likely to kill themselves before trial.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "I am on a career rocket ship to Mars right now, Dan, except I'm gonna leave Matt Damon there because the guy made potatoes in his own shit like a fucking animal.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Find a woman who was on it last year, but not this year. I mean, that's like a 'make her pay for dinner' situation.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "If you don't look like someone melted Play-Doh all over a flagpole, it does.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Well, it makes sense. He's got beautiful eyes.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "And once you're all done with them, I'll move in and squirt a half gallon of ropey jism into their modeled congressional cornholes.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Oh, you made it so far and then you just... (SIGHS)", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "No, Roger took my thing about ropey jism.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Literally anything.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Well, as the late, great Lionel Richie once said, 'Oh, what a feeling, I am dancing on the debt ceiling.'", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "OKAY, A: Lionel Richie is not dead, AND B: what the fuck does that even mean?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "you sentient enema", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Mother Mary dry humping a pillow. That is what I call natural talent.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Feel my dick. I am rock-hard for you right now, mister. You think I'm kidding. Feel it.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Granted, every town up here is just two dirty piles of snow connected by a covered bridge", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "I don't know. Maybe I was supposed to learn it in the second grade, but my teacher was a fucking bitch.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "If you were like 10% less black, I could make you president.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Does she know I'm not the president of Cuba?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Are you wearing cologne? A little. (SNIFFS) Smells like birdseed.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Do you want to play it more like a mystery?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Okay, can you just speak English, Catherine? 'Cause I don't know what you're trying to say.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "We'll keep it under the gaydar.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Who doesn't love a cappella, right? It's like a magic trick 'cause there are no instruments, of course.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "You mean 11:00? Over there? Seriously, can you really not tell time?", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "The fluffers have done their work. It's time for the orgy to begin.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "That's not his wife. - Okay. - This is one of my staffers, Nadia. - She's a prostitute.", "c": ["Ben", "Selina", "Congressman", "Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Maybe you ride the pine on this one for a period or two.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "You noticed the hockey references? Shit, I thought they were seamless.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "You're the only woman who's ever threatened to grate my balls over a bowl of spaghetti.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Our first responders were terribly traumatized by what happened to the first responders in New York.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "The budget has a fatter, more womanly behind than myself.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "God, I feel like somebody's playing a trick on him. They're about to dump a bucket of pig's blood on his head.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "I'm not saying you're gonna be in the top 20, but you would be a lock for, like, mid 40s.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Look at him, he's smiling like his shit's all pine-fresh smelling.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Listen, I wish I was hip enough to hang here with you all, but I've got to go deal with... - You're a busy girl. - Tell Liz I love her.", "c": ["Selina", "Connie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "I got it! I got it! The widow saw me filming her and she got mad. She called me some truly awful things. - Oh, thank you, Satan.", "c": ["Richard", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "I went to turn it on, but it was already on, so I turned it off. Then I went to turn it off, but it already was off, so I turned it on.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "(SIGHS) I had such plans for you, Richard.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Like Baxter.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Well, at least we know you don't need big balls. - Got large stones for sure.", "c": ["Selina", "Paul"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "I was warned that you would say some hurtful things.", "c": ["Jaeger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "she's got your balls in her hand and she's working your shaft just the way you like it. And moments before you're about to come all over her stupid Slavic face, she says, 'Nyet, after much prayerful consideration, I have to abstain from the upcoming blowjob.' Are you Nadia in this situation?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "You're trying to get up the courage to ask me to dance. (LAUGHS) Guilty.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "(WHISPERS) the Cocksucking Backstabber.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Oh, right, right. Um... (WHISPERS) the Cocksucking Backstabber.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "How stupid are you, you motherfucking snake?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "What? Charlie Baird? What does Charlie Baird have to do with any of this? - I don't know. He's got nothing to do with it.", "c": ["Tom", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "How stupid are you, you motherfucking snake?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "No straight man remembers a woman's shoes.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Well, you got me. I'm gay, so...", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Well, you got me. I'm gay, so...", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "All right, I wanted to fuck your brains out! - There you go. And now you're trying to fuck me tonight. - No, I am fucking you tonight.", "c": ["Tom", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Listen, I'm a high functioning alcoholic and you're a sloppy weekend drunk. Now get with it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "So why does your shirt say Jon H Ryan? - Fuck.", "c": ["Polly", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Although pocket pool is more my game.", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "People like you, you look like us, but there's a little piece missing. You're like a different species and one that I hope gets struck from the Earth because you're a bully and Jonah Ryan stands up to bullies.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Okay, you and Boo-Boo the ball-fondling bear here have exactly two seconds to get the fuck out.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "The teenager selling cocaine in the bathroom thought so, too.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "It's where Woodrow Wilson had some of his most significant strokes.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "You're playing a very dangerous game of chicken with the head fucking hen.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "And then I'm gonna have the IRS crawl so far up your husband's colon, he's gonna wish the only thing they find is more cancer.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.67, "im": 9.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Or do I need to shove a box of White House M&Ms up your stretched-out, six-baby vag?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "You're not hot. Gary Welsh at State is. You're a typo.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Fuck me, Amadeus.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Fuck me, Amadeus.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "After the national elections, the president may have found herself with a bad lie in the rough, but after stabilizing the economy, the House vote is starting to look like a gimme putt.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Congressional Ball"}, {"t": "Which one of you Johnny Appledick shit for brains came up with that bit?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Hi, ma'am, I just arrived here in Winter Blunderland.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "He looked like Ike Turner handing Tina a snack.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "I think we've identified the key problem, which is that Jonah does not interact well with humans.", "c": ["Unknown aide"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "No, I don't interact well with hag-ass old bitches.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Do you realize that you just handed O'Brien New Hampshire chained to a radiator with its twat shaved?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Mom.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Well, then why is Gary here?", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm excited to get to know fun Marjorie, too. When is she arriving?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "I'm just kidding. I'm just teasing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "So you're gonna have to keep Charles Ponzi and pussyride away from me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Popcornaments!", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Someone's been reading my blog. I just trademarked the word last week.", "c": ["Monica"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "It sounds delicious and it's adorable. So I'm gonna call it delorable.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "See? We can all do it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Oh, so that's two things she's turned you into.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Yeah, we just thought maybe we could have, like, a sham ham for Christmas.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "No, ma'am, tofurkey is cooked. This is a raw log made of mushrooms and soaked walnuts.", "c": ["Marjorie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "But it tastes like a ham? - Yeah, it's close. - Not at all.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine", "Marjorie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "I thought you were Selina. - That's okay, sir. People make that mistake constantly.", "c": ["Andrew", "Marjorie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "How about you touch neither of us?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Okay, well, that's terrifying, but I actually do think we need to get some wood from outside.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Presumably driving slowly and not using their signals.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "What do you got going there, Depravey Crockett?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "You can't go in with a plan. The knife tells you.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "How is it that that Asperger salad inserted herself into this situation?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "No, I'll tell you what he likes. Nordic beav.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "And you changed your eyelids. You had oculoplasty.", "c": ["Minna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "You look more alert.", "c": ["Minna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Yeah, surround you with some trees. Make you look human-sized.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Yeah, back to the natural habitat your nitwit mother found you in, you fucking shaved Sasquatch.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Does she choke for Coke?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "You're menopausal as well. - No, I'm not. - Well... - What? No, you are.", "c": ["Minna", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "No, I am actually two years younger.", "c": ["Minna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Amex gave me this crazy new card that's made out of black metal.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Stuck in security. I don't know how that happened. - I got the tracking number.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "That's the kitchen crew and the chef. They wear really nice suits.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "I noticed two golf carts filled with Asian people. - Yeah, we should go. - That's the kitchen crew and the chef.", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Thank you. I didn't get any of that except strawberries.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "It looks just like my daughter Catherine.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Your daughter is a beautiful woman and this is a piglet. - It's upset.", "c": ["President Lu", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Believe me, if you say SeaWorld to Catherine you will understand what I'm talking about.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Thank you for this rock.", "c": ["President Lu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "which is local to us and it's also close to Asia, which makes it local to you as we are all local friends.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "They say you look like a prisoner or a pirate.", "c": ["Minna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Jonah shot himself in the eye with a rubber band in second grade.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "No, not for him, for me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Or rolls, I should say.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Except without any food.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "My family is here as a cover story.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Feels like it was woven out of Catherine's silken hair. Feel this.", "c": ["Marjorie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "It's the outfit I picture when I'm trying not to come.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "It's the NRA. It's a Christmas miracle.", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Then why is my wonton soup so cold every time they deliver it?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Sort of an intermezzo emergency.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "This happens occasionally in Iceland, but there it's just an accident.", "c": ["Minna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "It's nicotine gum.", "c": ["Minna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Oh, no.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "I mean, Daddy loves you, sweetie, but he's a crook.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "You have a very narrow vagina? - Well, tight. In the States we say tight.", "c": ["Minna", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Like a Chinese Mr. Darcy. But stupid also, like a Chinese Mr. Bingley.", "c": ["Minna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "I love 'Mary Poppins.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Bono's gonna shit his sunglasses.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Worry about your own unemployment in Finland. - We don't have unemployment in Finland.", "c": ["Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Pow, pow. Who should I vote for? You can't teach that.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Freedom log.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Your adoption paper has been approved. You and your wife soon will have a Chinese baby.", "c": ["Chinese official"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Oh, H.R. Fucknstuf, Jonah won the election?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "I can elect a Muslim AIDS virus. A terrorist fucking AIDS virus in the tiniest suicide vest ever made, I could make it governor of New Hampshire.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Like Jessica Thompson. Hey, Jessica. Jessica, I see you there. Yeah, it's been a long time since high school. I like what you did with your hair. Do you like what I did with my life?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "You're taking my daddy's house and turning it into some Club Med for goats?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Camp David"}, {"t": "Alabama first in the alphabet, last in every other fucking thing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "I believe it's number one in easiest state to get away with murdering a black guy.", "c": ["Unknown staffer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Ooh, bam-a-lama ding dong!", "c": ["Unknown staffer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, this feels like my sister took a shit on my chest.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "I do not give my consent to have my likeness appear in this or any other film.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have to have approval over all of this footage, Catherine, okay?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Daddy did a lot of business with Bebe Rebozo.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "I went home with a congressional fan girl last night. I don't have my car. I think I'm in Maryland.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Shh! She's got a fucking parrot, and if the parrot wakes up, the parrot's gonna make noise and wake up her mom.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "I don't know how to drop a fucking pin.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Playing catcher is kind of like being the economy czar. There's not a lot of glory, but a lot of squatting. A lot of asses in your face.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Cheese, please, Louise.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.44, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, like one of those movies for people who like to be sad.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "You know, at night when I dare to close my eyes, I dream about your mother losing and then coming upon her holding a cardboard sign at the bottom of a highway exit ramp.", "c": ["Bill Ericsson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "It says, 'I'm so sorry, Bill Ericsson.'", "c": ["Bill Ericsson"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "When you have those kinds of negative feelings, you just pick them up and you stuff them in your box and you close it down tight and you take that box and you shove it way back here in your... in the corner of your head and swallow that key.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Oh. I just think they ran out of money. They should probably just print more. I don't know why it's been such a big issue.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Yeah, right after the inauguration, we'll show Mr. McShittock the door.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "You need to be quick and you need to sort of, uh, I don't even know what the word is.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "And Ta-da! We went with a Winnie the Pooh knockoff. It's made in China so Ellen will feel right at home. I think he's called Happy Sun Bear.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "the fact that I'm a woman means we will no longer have any women presidents because we've already tried one and she fucking sucked.", "c": ["Amy quoting Candi Caruso"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Unless afterward she went into a bathroom stall and used the old two-fingered wood chipper.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Wait, is that when you had your nervous breakdown? No, no, I did not... no, I went to a spa, sweetie.", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "She's on the math team.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "She already told me she was a senior at Georgetown. Turns out she meant Georgetown Day School.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Plus she taught me how to make sure the camera is on.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "You listen to me, all right? You are already dead. What you do now you do for your family.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Is my entire presidency about to have its neck snapped by Congressman Lennie here?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "It's like the best episode of 'Falcon Crest' ever.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "I do hope you'll wait till your hair grows to have your portrait painted.", "c": ["Selina's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "She looks like a boy.", "c": ["Selina's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Jesus fucking Christ. You got to tell your sister to stop calling me.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "It actually cost the same as the kid, so it works out.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "I can't wait for Wendy to see it. She is gonna... possibly like it.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "How am I doing? Eating so much pussy I'm shitting clit, son.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "I think the problem is that you lack upper body strength.", "c": ["Campaign worker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "\u266a If you want to know who we are, We are gentlemen of Japan... \u266a", "c": ["Richard's campaign manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "I just thank God I didn't hit those schoolchildren. Who gives a fuck about them? Go! Go!", "c": ["Richard", "Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Stalemate his endgame. Shades of Karpov versus Kasparov.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "You big lesbo.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Joyce, she took care of me after my third heart attack. My second wife was a nurse as well. I guess I have a thing for nurses, huh?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "These Precious Moments figurines are a very good investment.", "c": ["Joyce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's the least reassuring sentence I've heard since 'It's okay, it's just the tip.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "It's looking tighter than Will's own butthole when he's got his finger jammed up there watching 'Bad News Bears' while he jerks off.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "All right, I wanted to fuck you! That's right! And now you're trying to fuck me again tonight. No, I am fucking you tonight! No, I'm gonna fuck you! No, no, no, no, no...", "c": ["Selina", "Tom James"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "This is Catherine Meyer, my, uh, work friend.", "c": ["Marjorie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Marjorie is insufferable, okay? There are other... there are other fish in the sapphic sea, babe.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "My God, in 12 years, I'm gonna be a shriveled-up can of ass.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Seriously, I can't... I mean, my political window just slams shut the second I can't wear sleeveless dresses.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "my political window just slams shut the second I can't wear sleeveless dresses.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Please, God, deliver Jonah to Congress and then give him any kind of cancer. I don't care.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "The gentleman from New Hampshire puts forth onto the floor a do-over, thank you.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, you're clutching your bag like I'm gonna steal it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Some say a tie is like kissing your sister. But it took an electoral college tie for me to get to kiss the sister I never knew I had.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Truck stop glory hole. Can do a handstand still.", "c": ["Multiple staffers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "Sometimes, like, in a futuristic... like a sci-fi movie, you'll see, like, a robot that's like the old version of the robot and you kind of feel bad.", "c": ["Unknown staffer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "What's the best lesbian porn site?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Kissing Your Sister"}, {"t": "I stake my reputation on this. Selina Meyer will never be vice president ever, ever again.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Pot, kettle.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "That's literally the least you can do.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "I wouldn't be your veep if there were a grassy knoll full of Jodie Foster fans in the front row at your inauguration.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "General George Washington could climb out of his grave right now and I would rather eat out his zombified wooden asshole twice a day than be his vice fucking... fucking anything!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Out of how many? - 44. You were right ahead of James Buchanan, who many feel caused the Civil War.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Kent, can you give a girl some warning next time before you jam it in the back door?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Oh, God. I can't take that much acoustic guitar.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Too bad Goebbels killed himself.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "The only president to pee sitting down since FDR.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Well, I pee sitting down sometimes if it's gonna be a longy.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Wherever they have prostitutes. These guys could help you.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "No, New Hampshire is just a fancy word for 'it's cold outside, so I don't shave my pubes.'", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "It's really more of a copresident position. Wouldn't you agree with that, Ben? - Sure.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Oh, right, no touchy the ladies. Oh, no, no. It's fine. It's private. Just don't let the lunatics back home know.", "c": ["Chinese Official"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "You have decided to throw away every last shred of dignity you have and accept my offer of the vice presidency. - I... I guess so, yeah.", "c": ["Tom", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "It's like a shitty Groundhog Day.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Sir, by any objective standards, Colt, Brady, and Mason are unequivocally hot, not not.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Hot interns means girls. How the fuck do you not know that?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "I want you guys to get used to two things... killing it daily on the Hill and nights rated PG-squirteen.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "But feel free to follow along on the television or perhaps on one of the many bugs that you've planted throughout the White House", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Come on, you page-diddling Hawaiian fat fuck.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Thank you, Summerlin, you senile old piss sponge.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Now you know what it feels like.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Gary's entire meltdown: 'That magnificent woman counted on you and you losers let her down... All you fucking cared about was your stupid, bad selves... I did my job! I fucking cared!'", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Your numbers are garbage. Your speeches, garbage.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Well, that just kind of made this whole year worth it.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Yeah, she seems really, really large for a baby. - I was a tall kid when I was three.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "So what's the reason now, then?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Mine takes place in an alternate timeline where overweight, alcoholic ex-chiefs of staff are considered a sexual prize.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Mine takes place in an alternate timeline where overweight, alcoholic ex-chiefs of staff are considered a sexual prize", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Alternate timelines are a crutch for lazy sci-fi premises, e.g., 'Star Trek' with the exception of 'Deep Space Nine.'", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "MSNBC has just learned that President-Elect Montez plans to nominate Wall Street banker Charlie Baird... President Meyer dated the banker briefly late last year.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "I don't even remember how to drive.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "I don't even remember how to drive. I need a wallet. And stamps. I've got to get stamps", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "And then it turned out to be the 12 loneliest months of my life.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Maybe my auntie was actually my real mother and my mother was actually my grandmother. Ah, wow, that's starting to make a whole lot of sense. Everybody knew about it but me, too.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I hope I didn't fuck Richard.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Do you realize the whole goddamn Rayburn House Office Building can hear you and your twink army in here cock scraping each other's esophagi?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "You look like Clark Kent if they dug up Christopher Reeve's corpse to play the part.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "And as for you ladies, this is DC, not Miami.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "My fucking nuts!", "c": ["Colt"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Mike, she has the head circumference of a six-year-old. - I'm six.", "c": ["Kent", "Ellen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Girls will cost you later. Mm, girls are the worst", "c": ["Montez", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "And where exactly in Ohio are you from, Laura?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Your head is so far up Montez's ass. Next time it's Alejandro's birthday, he's gonna come all over your face.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "You're not gonna believe this, but she just freed the lamas.", "c": ["Staff Member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "You're not gonna believe this, but she just freed the lamas", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "I had no idea her tits were that big.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Well, I've always dreamed of living in a small town, having a little place on Main Street, hanging a shingle out front, and running my own little multibillion-dollar hedge fund.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Well, I've always dreamed of living in a small town, having a little place on Main Street, hanging a shingle out front, and running my own little multibillion-dollar hedge fund", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Or winning presidential elections. - Well, that's not true. - Yeah, it is.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "What am I walking on? - Grass, ma'am.", "c": ["Selina", "Staff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "but you have a lump on your left testicle. I just want to biopsy it and we can take it from there. - Take what from where?", "c": ["Doctor", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "I'm married. I have the ring hiding under the gloves. No, I saw it. No. Oh", "c": ["Doctor", "Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Selina, good news. We found the missing Nevada ballots. You won.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Inauguration"}, {"t": "Well, this last year has been fun. You know, really fun. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. You know, to have gotten so close to the presidency and then have the American people and Congress reject me was, um... was devastating.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "But, um... I did reacquaint myself with an old friend of mine by the name of Selina Meyer. And I like her.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Campaign starts right now, because we are going to make Buddy Calhoun the next governor of this dried coyote turd of a state.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "saddle up those emphysema tanks, you inbred cousin-fuckers, 'cause we are going to drag this state into the 20th century. That's right, I said 20th.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Meyer years... Year.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I'm really much more focused on the tapestry itself... the weave, the thread count, the old lady at the loom...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Without him, we don't have a Chinaman's chance.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "No, no, no. It's okay. My wife is Oriental. All of them have been. I kind of got yellow 'fev-ah.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "many of them adults, who never learned to read, which is a tragedy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "And AIDS. Wow. Yes, AIDS. AIDS is a big part of the tapestry.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Dessert is an apple. I mean, it's no wonder kids are shooting up schools with lunches like these.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "The only green bean I ate was a green jelly bean and I grew up to be so tall, my stupid mom had to get a different car.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I will fight against green beans the same way that I fought against my deadly disease called cancer.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I think sometimes people forget that I was the first female president. Before Montez.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I didn't really get a chance to see it because I was... I was out of the country.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "'Cause I've heard she's a complete gash and a half. Yeah, she really is. Yeah.", "c": ["Dan", "Jane"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "On the Anni-fucking-versary of the historic House vote. I feel like we're celebrating my frat house gang rape.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Except I didn't even get a candlelight vigil. I love candles.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "About the gang bang thing?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I didn't actually watch the interview, but everybody's talking about how gorgeous you looked.", "c": ["Lee"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I look forward seeing you in your entirety a little later.", "c": ["Lee"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Do you know what the chief agricultural product of my district in Ohio is? I'll give you a hint... looks like Will's wife's clit.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "That's why I spent two months jamming them into that school lunch bill like what, Will? Like me jamming anonymous trucker cock in my mouth at a public restroom well known for that purpose.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "You want me to call a Japanese porn shoot, see if I can get you a real job sponging up bukkake parties?", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I mean, whose balls did I twerk to end up here, in the Triangle Shirtwaist offices?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "this is the worst place they've ever stuffed an ex-president, and I'm including JFK's coffin.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "You know what being an ex-president is like? It's like being a man's nipple. People go right by it to jerk off a dick.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "it's cha-king. No, it's cha-king.", "c": ["Selina", "Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I didn't know you were gonna give me AIDS.", "c": ["Marjorie"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Who are you, Ronald Reagan?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I have AIDS now. That's hilarious. I don't get it.", "c": ["Marjorie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "there's an old Chippewa saying, 'The 'coyotay' always howls...' I'm not that interested in what the 'coyotay' has to say unless he's writing me a check.", "c": ["Marjorie", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Fuck my face!", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Yeah, probably wrecked their careers, too.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I will not work for less than 87 cents on the dollar.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Hey, Andrew, I don't care if it's a punch in my big, hairy dick. Okay? Go!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Tell them I'll jump out of a cake with tassels on my sagging tits!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "My guess is if you gave her a rail to snort off your dick, she would let you fuck the hole in her septum.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Just do 'cock whore.'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Those people really make me laugh.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "what was the name of that Iranian trade minister? Gerard Hojati.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Two eggs, hard scrambled. Red pepper strips? No, no, no, no, no. Not what you ate, Mike.", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I thought I'd never work again. [...] Me, too!", "c": ["Mike", "Wendy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "That's my daughter, ma'am.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Omaha is a 20-minute drive right across the border to Council Bluffs, Iowa... where they have their annual Madison Monroe dinner.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Why would I need your fucking vote? You wouldn't. What a crazy idea.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I'm gonna run for president again.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "I even got four and a half pity handies out of it, so I kept shaving.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "you human fucking Pap smear.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Just because I look like a penis.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I didn't expect anybody to object, did I? This was a test, folks, and you all failed.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "He can read the newspaper on the toilet by the light of his own shit.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "You know, maybe if we teach them how to read a condom wrapper, they wouldn't get AIDS in the first place.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Omaha"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Gary. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "If this were my library, I would make sure the people could sit behind the desk. Can you even have a library? Seems like it'd be more like a bookmobile.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "If only the American people could've known you for your sense of humor instead of your bizarre indifference to apartheid.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "How they 'Jewed him down,' as Mother used to say when she wasn't busy telling me he only picked me as a running mate so that he could look taller.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Supermodels are your height. It doesn't matter. She's dead. Who cares?", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Unlike small-town America, Andrew fucks me in a way I really enjoy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "No Mrs. Hughes. She must be hanging from the rafters somewhere.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "This is as impromptu as a colonoscopy except with quadruple the assholes.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Are we running from something scary, ma'am? No. Richard, you slow down. It'll look like I'm not running. Gary, you go fast. Yep! Oh, no, that's too fast.", "c": ["Richard", "Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I want a goddamn 'look at the size of my dick,' 'bring history to life' presidential library.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Because you served less than one year? No. Because nobody gives me any respect.", "c": ["Richard", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Never forget. Oh, sorry, that's the Holocaust. Totally forgot.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I need a monument to Selina Meyer. An institution. Selina Meyer belongs in an institution.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I wanna talk to every Tom, Dick, and Gehry out there.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Maybe a female candidate. Well, we're not redoing a kitchen, here, you know?", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "'cause, you know, he was also a part-termer.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "That sweaty pederast has ruined more kids than the Common Core.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Luckily, Will's anal halitosis renders him completely unbouffable.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I'm fortunate to be odious to all colors of the sexual spectrum.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "So, what is it? Speak, Professor X-Gayvier.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "let me save you the peanut log you're about to squeeze out of your face anus here... no.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "You remain in detention on the Ethics Committee with the rest of the special ed Breakfast Club.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Good luck getting your precious back from those mean hobbits, Sm\u00e9agol.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "That's a false equivalence, but I appreciate the sentiment.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Maybe use it for up here and focus on this. Oh, yeah, let's give the people what they want.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Well, I guess AIDS had a good run.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "As long as he promises not to blow up my library, I mean, I don't really give a shit.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I really wanna have a reflecting pool someplace for people to come and sit and reflect on what this cocksuck of a country did to me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I'm gonna scratch it into the paper and then kind of go back over and trace over and see what I wrote before, like in a suspense movie.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "They said the Sherman Tanz pardon was unsavory and not in line with the values of Yale. Then they asked for a donation to their annual fund.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Just like a Smith girl, open to exploring.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I'm not really comfortable with that kind of language.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Oh, shit! Oh, my God. No, no, we're not hiding anymore. Oh, she's too much! How the fuck long was that kid here for?", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I'm sure that there are some bored housewives out there that would enjoy ogling your Walter Cronkite, but to me, it looks like local morning news from, I don't know, Delaware.", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Wives in this town make the social calendar. Mrs. Furlong likes inviting couples, not unregistered sex offenders.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I am a balling bachelor sexual congressman, and I will be passing bills by day and smashing gash by night.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Congressman, being a bachelor in this town means you're gayer than a TV evangelist.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "statistically speaking, married politicians have more sex with more single women than single politicians.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Oh, what did you envision, Woody, that you and Buzz Lightyear would win this election and Andy would play with you again?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "He's just gotta go to a Laundromat, meet a girl, take her to a movie, a little chit-chat, couple-three drinks, standard hayjay in the cab home, and a year later, he's a father.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "We had to extend to the greater Baltimore, Arlington, Alexandria area to find them. Well, we got a 'maybe' in Delaware. She's waiting to see your hair grow back.", "c": ["Kent", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Flux. That's what I said. Did you wanna hang that? Yeah. Great. Wow! I just... I can't believe it. Look at us.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "You know what, I'm strictly a scotch girl and I always have been, so I never really experimented... with Chardonnay.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Sherman Tanz is particularly sensitive to prison conditions. And he is intimately involved with every aspect of his company. Now, that being said, he had no idea what was going on.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "phallus quo", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, what? One of you is pregnant? Congratulations. So, which one of you is the carrier?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Can you imagine having a baby in Georgia?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Why don't you use Gary's sperm? It's just sitting there gathering dust.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Hey, do you know how they remove a cancerous testicle? No. A lot of people think that they just slice one off, right? What they really do is they make an incision just a little bit further up, and they go in and they grab the testicle, and they pull it out of the scrotum and out through the body.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "1.5 if we can get his dyslexic daughter into Smith. Well, maybe get her to write the check. Get 5.1 out of him.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "People are gonna think you're the hot, young babysitter. No, they won't. Like we played last night. Oh, my God. Stop it, Mr. Meyer.", "c": ["Andrew", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Message number one... 'I can still taste you in my mouth from last night.' Boy, we should not be listening to that. That's probably to her boyfriend. I imagine she's texting while riding her bicycle and sent it to me by mistake.", "c": ["Car", "Selina", "Lee"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Second message... 'You came so much. Andrew, we ruined your wife's pretty office chair. I get so hot thinking of the president sitting in our love puddle. Call me after the fundraiser.'", "c": ["Car"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "That was a long one. She must be at a light.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "You are the devil! You are the fucking devil! Gary! Stop! Gary! I swear to God! I will kill you in your face! Stop it!", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "So, luckily, the doctors were able to remove the mass without a full mastectomy, so I got to keep my nipple. Whoo-hoo, right?", "c": ["Dinner guest"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Andrew is very hard to get rid of. He's like the herpes virus or an unwanted child. In this case, he gave me both.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Right? You just rolled your eyes like the world's bitchiest mime.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "And only case of schizophrenia, but my uncle-grandpa had her sterilized, and we are all good...", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Listen, honey, I want you to tell your whore of a father that I fired the art skank.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Ma'am, you are unstable and manipulative, and I worry about the genes you'll pass down to your child... but your ex is worse.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Apparently, Andrew kept referring to his penis as the 'First Chubby.'", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Okay, well, fucked again by the First Chubby.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I'm the only one who didn't do anything wrong in this 'trifuckta.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Oh, that is your color.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "What am I supposed to do, rehire Frida Swallow?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "That's like Princess Di hiring Camilla Parker Bowles to be her limo driver. I mean, I'm just... you know, although in that case, it would've worked out better for her, obviously, but...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "I can't believe I spent the night in jail. It's a piddly DUI. In Nevada, that's practically a resume builder. There's a guy driving drunk on the state flag right next to the guy beating his wife.", "c": ["Buddy", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "You wanna see my big, blue balls? This is them!", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "This predator has roofied more women than Kappa Alpha Cosby.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "Well, you can pack up your crayons and get the fuck out of here.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "If there's one thing I learned in the Air National Guard, it is respect for a woman in uniform. I have no hate in my heart. I love women, especially my beautiful fianc\u00e9e, Amy.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Library"}, {"t": "mad-lab-blah. - Madloba.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Jesus, democracy. What a horror show this is.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I didn't even know Georgia was a country.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Hello! One day, you can grow up to be president. No, not you. Your brother.", "c": ["Local Georgian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Unbelievable.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "This place sucks my ghost nard.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Hawaii is rightfully a monarchy and will be again.", "c": ["Unknown staffer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "spreading democracy like patient zero", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Sex trafficking workshop. / It's an anti-sex trafficking workshop. / Lame.", "c": ["Selina", "Staffer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Look at us, just like the good, old days except shittier in every conceivable way.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Maybe we can win an election for a change. / That came out wrong. / Yeah, way wrong, right?", "c": ["Selina", "Staffer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "It's gotta be 8:00 AM somewhere.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Jailbait statesman.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Night and fog. Nacht und Nebel.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I will destroy you in ways that are so creative, they will honor me for it at the Kennedy Center.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I am gonna find ways to destroy you so hard that everybody at the Kennedy Center is gonna take a fucking massive shit.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I already have 434 brand-new best friends and we're all going to dinner tonight. And you're not invited. Sorry. Congressmen only.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I got a Georgian SIM card. Got text forwarding. I'll here from you?", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "That's not the Buddy Calhoun I see in the mirror. Although, it would be if you stepped out of the shower.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I'm happiest when Buddy and I are on the couch eating popcorn and watching 'Downton Abbey.' / Can we play that again?", "c": ["Amy", "Host"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Ames, who's your favorite character on 'Downton'? I don't know. Abby, I guess. Yep.", "c": ["Danny", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I don't know. Abby, I guess.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "You have a doctrine now? What is it, 'Boners are rare, don't waste them'?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "It was a spa. / No, no, a spa is where you go to get a massage and the like. You were in an insane asylum.", "c": ["Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "We are, in fact, lovers. / What? / Lovers. / Lovers. / With Scab Calloway?", "c": ["Minna", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I went to find a hotel room, right? Nobody speaks English here, everything was really confusing to me, and I was chased by children. And I think I may have voted.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Mike, that is the kind of voting irregularity that we are here to prevent.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I accidentally voted and now my thumb is green. - The same thing happened to me! Oh, my God! - Oh, my God, oh, my God.", "c": ["Mike", "Gary", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "The same thing happened to me! Oh, my God! / Oh, my God, oh, my God. / How did it happen?", "c": ["Richard", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I can't afford to lose this job, Gary, but I can't afford to keep it either. I mean, it so expensive to commute from DC. And I haven't been paid yet.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I never ever wanna see the inside of your mouth again. Okay? It looks like a Haitian porta-potty in there.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Hey, Gary, can I sleep on your couch? - No. - Hard no? - It's a hard no.", "c": ["Mike", "Gary", "Mike", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Yeah, but do we really want these people to have electricity?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Jesus, you and Doyle really have a wide-on for this guy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Well, it's a miracle that anybody survives eating sushi in this country, Minna.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I cannot possibly accept that. - I mean, even the appearance of a quid pro quo...", "c": ["Selina", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "As clear as the coffee table Danny Thomas had his hookers shit on. / It's an American expression.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I will give you my sperm. / Oh, great! / Yeah. / I thought that would take a lot longer.", "c": ["Dan", "Jonah", "Richard"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Okay, uh, could we start the clock in, like, 30 minutes? / Yeah, I guess so. / Actually, no. No, make it 40. The girl I'm thinking of likes to talk first.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I'd kill for a job where I could wear flats all day.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "That's keep a lot of docents in Rockports. / I'd kill for a job where I could wear flats all day.", "c": ["Ben", "Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "There is literally no Georgian law. / And I'm using 'literally' correctly.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "There is literally no Georgian law. And I'm using 'literally' correctly.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Yeah, that and a car with a sunroof could've bought you my virginity in '83. / You were 22? / No, I was 15 in 1983.", "c": ["Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Yeah, that and a car with a sunroof could've bought you my virginity in '83. - You were 22? - No, I was 15 in 1983.", "c": ["Selina", "Minna", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Yeah, that and a car with a sunroof could've bought you my virginity in '83. - You were 22?", "c": ["Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Did he throw himself from a moving town car? / No. No, he weighted his boots and he jumped into an ice hole.", "c": ["Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Your noses must've been really tiny yesterday because you lied and now they're normal-sized.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "In the immortal words of will.i.am, 'Tonight's gonna be really great!'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "In the immortal words of will.i.am, 'Tonight's gonna be really great!'", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Fuck. - Are you fucking...?! - That's where that goes? - Pick up your fucking chairs!", "c": ["Various"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Oh, you must remember not to react to his disfigurement. He's very sensitive. - Wait, how bad is it, exactly? - Oh, well, he was very handsome before the poisoning, so you may not even notice it.", "c": ["Minna", "Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "May I say that the reports of your beauty have not been exaggerated. / Well, back at you, red.", "c": ["Nikolai", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Well, back at you, red.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I mean, you know, who needs all that champagne when you can have all these different kinds of wallpaper?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I mean, you know, who needs all that champagne when you can have all these different kinds of wallpaper?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "His very touch makes me quiver. / Okay, and now we get to eat food.", "c": ["Minna", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Eat the soup. / Why? / Because I'm hungry. I need to know if it's been poisoned.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Oh, it has carrots in it. I'm not gonna eat that.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "I agree. It is so much less than you are worth.", "c": ["Nikolai"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "To ensure fair election, I would like to offer you a $15 million bribe. - How dare you, sir!", "c": ["Nikolai", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "but unbelievably shitty apartment.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "If you told him that rava ganavlis was chakapuli, he would eat it up and ask for seconds.", "c": ["Nikolai"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "If you told him that rava ganavlis was chakapuli, he would eat it up and ask for seconds. / I can only hope that rava ganavlis is human shit. / It is actually what you vomit after eating shit.", "c": ["Nikolai", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "You know, the band's name translates to Panzer Division. - What?", "c": ["Richard", "Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "The poison? It did not engorge only his face, if you know what I mean. / I think I do. / It also engorged his penis and made it very unusual texture of sea cucumber, so it's great for vaginal orgasms.", "c": ["Minna", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "You know, I just come and get it over with.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Which do you prefer, vaginal or clitoral orgasms? - You know, I just come and get it over with.", "c": ["Minna", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "You two ding-dongs look like you fingered the Incredible Hulk.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Murman's leading by more votes than there are people in the country. - Yeah, maybe he's bussing them in from Chicago.", "c": ["Kent", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "This election's going down like Eleanor Roosevelt at Dinah Shore Weekend.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Well, Murman, that is a big tire with a fuckload of fish in it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Well, Murman, that is a big tire with a fuckload of fish in it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "My concern is I wonder if your judgment is being clouded by your feelings that are brought on by Nikolai's lumpy poison cock.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Yeah, in Finland, we call this the fever of the sausage.", "c": ["Minna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Sometimes I don't feel worthy of this friendship. / Mm, well, sometimes I feel that way, too.", "c": ["Minna", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Wow, that's like Gary becoming president. / From the tea party. / No. Oh, yeah, that is funny.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "It's now worth approximately $389,000. Way to go, ma'am.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Way to go, ma'am.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "And that, in a nutshell, is what I call the Meyer Doctrine.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Georgia"}, {"t": "Jesus Beverly Christ", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "If it was any more Kennedy-esque, it would drive you into the ocean", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Fittingly, I lost my back-virginity in Assateague", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I once lost my wallet in Denver", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "No, ma'am, you have a meeting with Tanz at 2:00. - Oh, thank you very much, Richard", "c": ["Richard", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "He was a friend to all people, especially corporations, who he legally considered to be people", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "there is absolutely no validity to the rumor that the president is being considered for the seat", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I just habitually deny everything these days. It gets me in trouble with Wendy, too", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "The other day, I flushed a comb down the toilet", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I do wanna hear the end of that, though", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "You do like throwing books at people", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Plus, reading... could it be bad for your child's self-esteem? Why one Texas housewife wants to phase it out", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I thought my charm campaign was turning into a bit of a death march, but I think I breached her defenses", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I want a full fucking beaver shot with the legs. Otherwise, what is the point?", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I'm starting to look like a diversity hire here", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "If I wanted people to think that I actually still cared about them, I would've stayed in fucking politics", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "as a female, do you feel that... - Pass!", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Madam Pardoner. Don't mention it. Ever.", "c": ["Sherman", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "The miserable anti-Semite, but a great friend of Israel", "c": ["Sherman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Uh-huh, you're stalling. It must be a big number.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "You have back trouble? You know what helps? Bananas. The potassium.", "c": ["Sherman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "What, no massage? Gary, massage him. Mm-mm. Mm-hmm.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "What time? / Memoir time. / Oh, God.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Just go deep. Just go deep for him, yes.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "our prison system is in grave danger of dropping below 135% occupancy", "c": ["Sherman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Well, I think that I'm partially to blame for that because I let you out of one", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "we can find you a man or a woman, but it'll probably be a man if you wanna get anything done", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I want you to get in touch with Ed McPherson on Judiciary 'cause he's building an infinity pool. On it. Too late.", "c": ["Selina", "Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "CNN just came out with their speculative list of nominees for the open Supreme Court seat... and they have you as a long shot's long shot", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Oh, it's cnn.com. Oh, well, nobody looks at that.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "My tits feel like these Hot Pockets", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Hey, don't fucking say that, okay? It's not that. Seriously, that is like a sexist-beyond-sexist reaction.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Mike's hair reminds me of graham cracker crumbs", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Good news is without the tampons, it's gonna free up some space in my bag. Where are you gonna put yours?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I pardoned 'Typhoid Moishe'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Super left field? I mean, is that even a position? Mm-hmm, that was my position in Little League. I was a pitcher's helper.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "It's hot flashy. / It's totally normal.", "c": ["Selina", "Richard"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "What are you telling me? I think you had a small heart attack. A heart attack? Yes, ma'am. So, I'm not menopausal?", "c": ["Selina", "Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Hand me a cracker and spread it up with 'I Can't Believe It's Not Menopause'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "You wanna knock me up, Doc? Just 'cause I can do it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "You know what I like about you two? It's not clear who's the top. I am.", "c": ["Dan", "Catherine", "Marjorie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "You could have direct sexual intercourse with the donor", "c": ["Fertility Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Why don't we just puppy pile, okay? Then we'll all get a bite to eat afterwards, you know. See a movie or something. You know, we'll make it nice.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I'm just the cream filling in this gay-claire", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "So, I've been pulling out this entire time for nothing?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Ladies, I am Danny Egan, and I will see you in the tomorrow", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Did I die? Is this heaven? Yeah, he keeps waking up and asking that", "c": ["Gary", "Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "You had a heart attack, Gary. For the third freaking time.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "No, I had a heart episode and they're just gonna pop a stent in there just for fun", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Just think... next year, you get to go to my library opening. And you get to buy my book. Can't you just give me a copy? Well, I can't be giving out free copies of the book 'cause think of the position that that would put me in.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "You're only 40? And I'm gonna... I'm gonna have a party. In Alabama.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "If anybody asks, you just say I'm in a routine closed-door meeting, okay? If they're wondering why I'm at the hospital, you just put that on Gary 'cause he had a massive heart attack, luckily.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "'Cause I don't know the alarm code to get back into my house", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Just give him that whale dong Jonah, my God", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Well, well, well. If it isn't the prodigal traitor come back home to suck on my giant congressional ball", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Listen, jizz clot, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're gonna have a meeting with Sherman Tanz", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "No. He's a prison magnet", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "when people think about what's wrong in Washington, they think of him and you", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Well, for you, Congressman, disaster would be a step up", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I have insider confirmation that Selina Meyer is being considered for the open Supreme Court seat. To what, reupholster it?", "c": ["Danny", "Jane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Why don't you talk to Jane? You're her man. / Yeah, right.", "c": ["Stevie", "Danny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "They're actually from a very expensive boutique", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Whoo, that Montez is a Latin piece of ass", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Yes, my roommates Stashelle, Lark, and Boosh", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Peek-a-boo, peek-a-boo!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Madam President, may I say from one vet to another, congratulations. / Oh, God, this is the second act that Selina Meyer finally deserves.", "c": ["Doctor", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "We share a studio in Hoboken. Your mom doesn't think you're pretty, but I think you're stunning.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Monday, it's the day after Daylight Saving Time. It's my favorite holiday 'cause it's like living in a tiny version of 'Back to the Future'", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I catch the 4:28 PATH... then I take the F to the 6, and then I do a quick jaunt, and I'm there in time to steep the tea", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Put him in the basement. I don't give a shit. Fine, the basement. Who gives a shit?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Your mom doesn't think you're pretty, but I think you're stunning.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "They're gonna have to carry me out of there with the gavel clenched in my cold, dead twat", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Well, I can give them my actual abortion if I could find it lying around here somewhere. I'll check the freezer.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Mama. Bunny's late for middle school.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "The big hand points to the noon and the little hand points to the... Well, fuck, it's the... God, it's 10:00 AM.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Getting paid, getting laid, son. Zero dollars and one cent.", "c": ["Sherman", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Did you have a stroke, you weird asshole man?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I cut up a chicken sandwich and I put it into pasta. What? Is this the chicken sandwich that was in the fridge before the hospital? Wow, and you left the bun on it when you cut it.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "It's the bleu cheese. No, but there isn't any bleu cheese in it. You must be... starving yourself, though.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I mean, I couldn't finish it. I just threw the rest out.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Is that what she calls you when she puts her penis in your vagina?", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I set my watch back for Daylight Savings Time. You set your watch the wrong way. No, it's spring. I 'springed' backwards.", "c": ["Jonah", "Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Plus-sized homunculus. A human-shaped creature of medieval legend that Paracelsus claimed was created from putrefied sperm.", "c": ["Ben", "Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I've had my own bedtime since I was 17. I didn't need a babysitter then and I don't need one now, and it's high time that the government stop trying to babysit all of us.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "I get it. Jonah Ryan. He's young, he's raw, he's a fresh, if slightly deformed, face that I can ride like a hobby horse.", "c": ["Sherman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "On the bright side, it's gonna be an amazing new exhibit at the Hughes Library", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "Daylight Saving... not plural... Time has never saved us from anything, certainly not the higher energy costs it promised to lower.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Justice"}, {"t": "American University sounds like a made-up college in Egypt.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "You understand that, Amy, that even Richard has trouble understanding you?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Even that sanctimonious fraud Carter had a library.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "American University, it's like American Univer-shit.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.09, "im": 4.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "I also do wallpaper.", "c": ["Unknown volunteer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "I look like I'm trying out for 'The Price is Right.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "God Almighty, I wish I'd been assassinated in office.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Although, with my luck, I'd be then crippled for life, sitting in a wheelchair in my reading room with my name on the thing.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "They haven't agreed to putting your name on anything, ma'am.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I hate every food ever, from everywhere.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Have you tried ice cream? Ugh.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Is this the Hall of Half-Term Wonders?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "I thought that was Craig T. Nelson.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "The real one was made of wood.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Just do it before I melt down that whole collection and use it to wax Madame Tussauds' big, fat, nasty snatch!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Trust me, Amy, it was not the heart attack that depressed your dad.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "I just feel like I'm a thick, dark fog and everyone disappoints me and nothing works out, and what's the point of anything anyway?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "'Cause I'm getting 14 hours of sleep a night.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Both of them went to town on me. It was brutal. I cried so hard, I threw up, but it was the best thing I've ever done.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "You're in therapy? Since when? Since I was 13.", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Well, what you really needed was a dermatologist.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Well, my father and I both hate eating butterscotch, but love to say it. Butterscotch.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Oh, no, it's a graveyard that sells gum.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "I show assholes the door.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Here's a statement... your investment is doing quite well.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "And then we just hired the least fuckable press secretary we could find.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Huh, that's actually right when I started working with you.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "which is a line of prison inmates standing on each other's shoulders trying to sodomize you.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "I'm the daughter. Gross.", "c": ["Shawnee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "More crime means more for-profit prisons. We're gonna lock 'em up and we're gonna fry 'em.", "c": ["Sherman Tanz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "If you kill them, they can't get arrested again. That's how we make our money.", "c": ["Shawnee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Failure to thrive at birth... fuck that. Puberty at 19. When it hit, it hit like a fucking thunderbolt. Third grade reading level in the tenth grade.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Mother up and sold her. She hated all animals that she couldn't eat or wear.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "In 10 years, we'll be taking vacations together.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "What is this, Yonkers?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Oh, that Chinese one?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Grandma Splett always said that self-pleasure was a sin like microwaves or laughter.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "No. Worse comes to worst, I'll burn in hell like Grandma Splett.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Honestly, it was one less thing to worry about.", "c": ["Shawnee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "They're fucking her in the ass?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "You're as useless as a dick at a roller derby.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Zero anal access. How's that for a new deal?", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "for a president who is currently more famous for being a jizz sock for Times Square tourists", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Your dad sold it to get the IRS off of his back.", "c": ["Uncle George"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Died right on top of her. What a way to go. She was built, my God.", "c": ["Uncle George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "you know, because your dad was always taking her to the doctor.", "c": ["Uncle George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Pay me! Pay me, bitch!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Why do shoes cost so much money?! I wish I had peed first. Why do I always wait so long to pee? I'm a grown man! I shouldn't eat when I'm full!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "I shouldn't eat when I'm full!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Don't you see? I had no choice but to go into politics and be extraordinary and a sex symbol.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Yes, Danny, I know that we're not actually fucking because you're not a billionaire and I don't wanna catch anything.", "c": ["Jane McCabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "by two tits with a degree from American University over there.", "c": ["Jane McCabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "So you don't scrape your head, you giant barbecue fork.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "No, I'm gonna look like that old popcorn homo.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Well, ironically, I have bigger tits.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "What does Rumpleforeskin want?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "It's just, like, a woman's face with sunglasses on.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "So, people were trying to have sex with my statue. Domestic terrorism.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Dominoes.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Chicklet"}, {"t": "Human trafficking... import-export. My sympathies.", "c": ["Selina", "Sheikh"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "It's like six degrees of Al-Qaeda in here.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "I hope we don't drone this place while we're in it.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "He's dressed like a doorman.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "He just went full Chinaman on me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "I didn't recognize you with your little hat.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Oh, well, I have a dozen uncles. One less, more for the rest, right?", "c": ["Nephew"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, well, tell it to that ingrate, the Dalai Lama. I guess he'll be thanking me in his next life.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "No, do I shake his hand? ... No, better not.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Everyone say goat cheese!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Okay, Catherine, I think there's something wrong with your microphone, honey, because your voice sounds very whiny.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Like Catherine's eyes.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Oh, fuck! ... Oh, how could this happen?!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Maybe I can stop masturbating now.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "He is a bomber and a photobomber!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "That is not true. You have amazing calves.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "A peace lady? ... Yes, thank you very much, Richard! Richard is thinking.", "c": ["Richard", "Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Oh, she was born with no legs. ... How can I even do a walk and talk?", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "I can't be with somebody who's physically disfigured. I know you can't. It makes me feel sick, okay?", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Oh, never mind. She was executed.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Full quota of limbs. She's got a whole face.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Ugh, God! Well, that's not gonna be on camera, so.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "One time, my mom brought in my breakfast an hour late like an idiot, so I just threw it on the floor and I said, 'Mom, if I wanted to eat this, I would've eaten it an hour ago.'", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "I ended up having to poop in a Sunoco bathroom.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "No, it sounds like a gay a cappella group.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Hamilton wasn't a president. ... Then why the fuck did they write a musical about him?!", "c": ["Kent", "Jonah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "No, he was our first Puerto Rican president.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "I am the white Hamilton of the Jeffersons.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "I designed it myself. I call it Yoloha. It's a combination of YOLO and aloha.", "c": ["Buzzy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Well, Buzzy, I think it's rad. ... Which is a combination of retarded and sad.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Honestly, if you fucked in front of us, it'd be more dignified.", "c": ["Buzzy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Ah, like gorillas at the zoo.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Jane just thinks the cold makes her and Brie's nipples pop more, and she's not wrong.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Is it something that you eat or is it something you already ate?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "A beautiful Western woman helping out world sufferers in a stunning Gucci scarf.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "It's sort of like a 'Vogue' shoot.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "We are surrounded by land mines. You're just like Princess Di.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "But with a better nose, of course.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Hey, did you get your curds, Little Miss Muffless?", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "I go poo-poo in my panty-wanties.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Put Wisconsin at the top of my shit list. ... Make them 1A and 1B.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "All right, I need you and your buddies from the Island of Misfit Toys... Isle.", "c": ["Furlong", "Kent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Oh, no, it understands.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Whoa, what's this, the fourth horseface of the Apocalypse?", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Jesus, Jonah, if you're gonna pay for sex, just add the extra two bucks for the premium edition.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "There's a ring on hold at Tiffany's. Pick it up by 6:00. It's already paid for.", "c": ["Shawnee"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "This goat has an ear infection.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "You look like an old Dyke in an English gardening show.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "We have no water here.", "c": ["Nyaring"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Oh. Oh, well, that's fine. We can just put it with the recycling. ... That is my bed.", "c": ["Selina", "Nyaring"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "She's kind of a bitch.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "I made them from my husband's death shroud.", "c": ["Nyaring"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "No, it was a purposeful desecration of the man who beat and raped me.", "c": ["Nyaring"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Well, they go with everything.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "You know that little animal that Nathan Lane plays in 'The Lion King'? ... Uh, so, three of those got caught in the engine.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "A beautiful woman lost in the desert with only a small group of complete incompetents to assist her? ... I've never seen anything quite like it, frankly. How do you do it?", "c": ["Jaffar", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Well, I remembered you Qataris are very wet-fingered.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "You microdicked weasel, you couldn't even fill my pisshole.", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Let me advise you that I built this goddamn network with my own two tits!", "c": ["Jane"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Any department store that wasn't started by Jews. I will have to start one myself.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "You look like the business end of a baboon.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "When I talk, I can hear my skin crunch. Makes me wanna eat cereal.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "my political career had answered a craigslist ad for a modeling shoot in the Angeles National Forest.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Those Sphinx-fuckers really love them some Chinese takeout.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "this deal is Mao Ze-done, baby.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "But unless you're planning on knitting your semiconductors out of bamboo shoots and panda cock, you're gonna need every ounce of gallium you can get in Sudan.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Rots of ruck with that.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Confucius say fuck, yeah!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "I don't want this whole evening to go all Natalie Wood on me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Mohammad H. Christ, that's my dissident.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "what Titty Gonzalez was too chicken-shit to say.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Let's stone the raper!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "You're gonna wanna take it to a church and marry it, Rog.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "And I want Rihanna to put a gun to my head while she makes me eat her out, but guess what, that's about as likely to happen as Will's wife putting a baby in her polyp festival of a uterus!", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "I would sooner gouge out your eye and fuck your skull from here to the end of time.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "You look like the world's least-fucked geisha.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "There has been one death.", "c": ["Nyaring"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Oh, she was married to the village elder. ... Saturday.", "c": ["Nyaring"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Well, please send along my congratulations.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "You look like redheaded bacon.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "NuvaRing is gonna dig this a lot. ... It's Nyaring.", "c": ["Richard", "Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "who are we to judge? Don't we... in the United States, we practice male circumcision on boys as young as tiny babies.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "And female circumcision... I'm sure you have your reasons.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Could you tell the Colossus of Chodes that this is the exact same goddamn office, only three floors down with a shittier view?", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Second goddamn floor, I can't even commit suicide.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "What do I have to do, pull out my clit and cut it off in front of everyone to get anything done in this world?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "You know, white. One of them.", "c": ["Jaffar"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "He also thought you might be Jewish.", "c": ["Jaffar"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Qatar"}, {"t": "Well, that just tickles my twat!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "And Mike. - See, Mike? That is good writing.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "So, today. That's a bit of a brain twister.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Richard, you have such a good sense of humor. Amy, you should take a cue from him, really.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Do you have some bai hao white tip? - I do!", "c": ["Greg", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "There was an advance? - Quiet, quiet.", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Hanukkah. - Canaan, Rabbi. Shut up, Nikhil.", "c": ["Jonah", "Rabbi", "Nikhil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "This stupid hat is too small for my head. - Yarmulke. - Fine, this stupid hat is too small for my yarmulke.", "c": ["Jonah", "Rabbi"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Oh, good, 'cause all this learning is giving me a yarmulke ache.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Oh, Jesus Christ! I'm sorry, I can say that now and still get into heaven, right? Actually, Jonah, Jews don't believe in heaven.", "c": ["Jonah", "Rabbi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Shut the fuck up, Nikhil! Wait, Shawnee, how am I gonna see my dog again? Is there, like, a Jew place for dogs?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "We're fucked. I don't even remember any of that.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Some things are so dull, you have to block them out. No kidding. I mean, I'm sure that I played with Catherine when she was a child... but for the life of me, I can't remember one second.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "So, is it a boy, is it a girl? - Oh, right. It's a baby. - No.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "This is a human being you're making, not some Brooklyn-based, artisanal chocolate bar.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Okay, is that how we're talking now, Marjorie, like some sort of bi-curious Porky Pig?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "I had an aunt who transitioned twice. She was trapped inside a man, and then that man was trapped inside of another woman. - Oh, like a turducken.", "c": ["Marjorie", "Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Leslie or Dana if it's a boy and... And for a girl we like Linus. - Seriously? - That feels like child abuse.", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "It'll be my first human birth, so.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Yeah, but, I mean, does anybody really give a shit about two average-looking lesbians?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Kent?! My snatch isn't a data port!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "You... you said it was at the Congressional Ball. - Oh, did I say that? - I think so.", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "God, how can anybody jerk off to her with him sitting right there? - I'm sure you'll find a way, Congressman.", "c": ["Jonah", "Aide"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Because we worked for the president and didn't cost her the presidency. And because we don't look like Herman Munster's brother who liked to molest that pudgy werewolf kid.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Charlie, also played by Fred Gwynne. Season one, episode nine.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "No, I'm bringing my jai alai instructor. - Female. - Ish.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Maybe I'm gonna go hire some women, and I'm gonna make them date me.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "And I'm Dan Egan, bringing you your morning every morning of every day for many mornings to come.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "You sound like a Scientologist.", "c": ["Brie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Jesus, we were not fucking! - Okay, going down on each other, whatever. I don't wanna know!", "c": ["Dan", "Producer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "But I... I'm actually fucking her. - Dan! - Aren't you engaged to a Yankee?", "c": ["Dan", "Brie", "Producer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Maybe you two should fuck differently, then. I don't know. That's where I draw the line, man. I don't take notes on how I fuck.", "c": ["Producer", "Dan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "So, it's sci-fi?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "And in the end, I just turned out to be another blue bottle fly feeding on a heaping mouthful of Seabiscuit's finest.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, why did I have to fuck the last remaining gentleman in Washington? - God! - Who said that? Was that Dolley Madison? - It was James Madison.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Everyone was unless you're a mole person who was cast out of his underground society for keistering sewer rats. - I wasn't invited. - I know.", "c": ["Aide", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "You are addicted to spending like the proverbial drunken sailor.", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Well, it's your casa white-o, as you would say.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "You haven't heard the last of Jonah Ryan.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Cutting aid to Israel! - Whoa, no! We're not gonna do that. Are you crazy? - Cutting aid to veterans. - Great! - They volunteered, right?", "c": ["Jefferson", "Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Okay, so I have got a White House book that is hotter than Nancy Reagan's guide to cocksucking.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "She's a year older than me. - Okay, that is a fucking lie!", "c": ["Tom", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "This is like Black History Month. It never fucking ends!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Do you want me to 69 him? - Oh, 86.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "If Jackie Kennedy can go through the day with her husband's philandering brains all over her dress and her head held high, looking stunning, even though they made her ride around in a convertible like an animal, I might add, you can go to the White House tomorrow", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "even though they made her ride around in a convertible like an animal, I might add", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "where he couldn't even unzip the back of your dress. - Wait a minute, what? How do you know that? - It was in Mike's notes.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "And if one person mentions Tom James to me, I'm gonna go piss in that punch bowl.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Well, well, well, sorry, boys, no votes today on legalizing tiny Fleshlights for micro wangs. Except for you, Gellardi. I'd wager it takes a whole roll of duct tape to strap down your hog of a cock.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Like my labradoodle, Teddy, when I cover his cock in honey and give him a sticky licky. - No, bad!", "c": ["Will", "Speaker"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "And when something's broken, you shut it down, and then you turn it back on again like with a router.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "I know one thing... she's the one who put my sweater in the dryer. - Yes!", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "What is this Dixie cup shit show? It's like we teleported to post-Katrina Mississippi.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Congressman Furlong. - Brookheimer! Got your dong of a r\u00e9sum\u00e9.", "c": ["Furlong", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "You're stronger than me, and you have a higher reserve of dignity and self-worth. And I'm trapped in a cycle of abuse.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Of course I was, but I had the courtesy to seem like I might not!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "You've got more issues than 'National Geographic.'", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Oh, ho, ho! So, you did want me to call. Oh, oh, poor Tommy. He wanted me to call him afterwards.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you know what, you can have your trophy wife and your trophy office and your trophy baby, who you won't even live to see go to college, but I still got to be president, and, tsk, you never will.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "I swear to God, Tom James just wanted to fuck me right now. - What?! - Yeah, we had a real moment. But he's too much of a pussy to go for my pussy.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "No, no, no, I'm not talking about the Green Room. That was just a good, old-fashioned hate fuck.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "That when we were in Los Angeles and we walked out onto the stage to accept the nomination, and you grabbed my hand and you held it up high, and I was like, 'Oh, my God, he's holding my hand.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Is that her name or is that the pill you take to fuck her?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "But unfortunately, I have to return to the Oval Office to deal with the shutdown.", "c": ["President Montez"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "You know, because maybe in a hundred years, all that anyone will remember is that you have your portrait hanging on a wall in the White House.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Yeah, that cow put the chair in the painting. - What chair? - The fucking chair in that painting is the chair that she made love to Andrew on.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Look at my neck. I have pardoned turkeys with fewer waddles.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Jesus Christ, underage Muslim brides are less traumatized at their unveiling.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Remember, every day starts with morning.", "c": ["Brie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Blurb"}, {"t": "Oh, Kentucky fried Christ!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "It's like Satan's humidor out here", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Hey, Gary, how come your family doesn't have a Mongoloid kid on the porch playing banjo? / 'Cause he grew up and moved to DC.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "It's like he's never seen his mother before", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "That's a real snatch-22", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Why am I asking somebody who has sex one and a half times a year to do that?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "It's White City. We couldn't afford Lynch City.", "c": ["Gary's Mother"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Stewart's the new Bobby", "c": ["Gary's Mother"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Okay, it's a lady", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "No one is gonna read that", "c": ["Gary's Mother"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Mike, do you have any awareness of what's been happening with newspapers in the last 10 years? / Not at all. I mean, truth is I don't even get 'em anymore. I just read the news on my phone. It's so much better and it's free.", "c": ["Amy", "Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "That's not a word", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "It's not", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "I think we both found that solution very 'rosinable'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.53, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "I do not want you to do that. / I will. / Don't. / I'm gonna. / No.", "c": ["Leon", "Mike"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "What does that mean? No butt-fucking Ned Beatty till the after party, I guess.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Yes, who hasn't said the N-word on television", "c": ["Gary's Mother"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody, not home an hour and Gary's carrying a Jimmy Choo purse.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "You'll ruin your mascara", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "I did not vote for you, but I do respect the office.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Like Gary's dad", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "It's not Gary's. It's his brother Bruce's. / Oh, I didn't know you had a brother. / Brue was his stillborn twin.", "c": ["Gary's Mother", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "He had a huge heart. / Missing all its valves, though.", "c": ["Gary's Mother", "Judge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "When Gary was in high school, I used to say Bruce still had a better chance of making the football team.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "I'll tell you something, if I had a crib for every baby who died inside me, I could open up a Pottery Barn Kids.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "At least while the government's shut down, we won't have to pay taxes. That's not how it works.", "c": ["TV personality", "Other"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "I got this really cheap flight. Had, like, four layovers. / I really got here three hours early because we had to make an emergency landing in Birmingham because some guy took a poo on the beverage cart.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "And, no, it wasn't me. I'm actually really blocked up from all the travel.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "We're actually doing a 'herstorical' tour of great Southern female writers. / And where they killed themselves.", "c": ["Catherine", "Marjorie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "I tried to explain to him that Birmingham ranks low on the jihadi to-do list.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "our family's got a brand-new imam who's just a lot more chill. I mean, I can engage in homosexual acts with the entire writing staff of Charlie Hebdo and nobody would say boo.", "c": ["Jaffar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Hey, Dan, look at my sandwich. Remind you of Jane?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "You're a freshman congressman who still uses his mother's Netflix password.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "You said on-air that Bruce Hornsby was a member of the Grateful Dead. / He was a touring member from '90 to '92. He never officially joined.", "c": ["Dan", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Jesus Christ, it's not like I'm gonna rape the president. / Oh! / I'm sorry, did you just say you aren't going to rape the president?", "c": ["Jonah", "Montez"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I only have two months left of those Jiffy Jew classes. And after that, it's snip, snip, snip.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "You know, I'm technically from the South. / Oh, is that right? / Yeah, Maryland had slaves. They just didn't secede. / So, they had it both ways?", "c": ["Selina", "Jaffar"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "I'll show that oil-splatted cow-fucker that I'm open-minded and nonjudgmental.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Do you know that if 30,000 more people in Alabama had gone to the polls instead of smoking off-brand cigarettes through their neck holes at riverboat casino slot machines...", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "It's not urine, okay? It's probably just water from the urinal.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Did you have your pants on? / Of course I did. What are you talking about?", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "I skinned it and I made a fur vest and matching boots for my G.I. Joe doll.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "He had a dead animal in his pocket the whole time? / And you know what I did with it? I skinned it and I made a fur vest and matching boots for my G.I. Joe doll.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Oh, my goodness, I wish I could say the same thing. We need a drink. I'm seven years sober, Ma'am.", "c": ["Selina", "Quartie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "It's only got four wheels and there's no fucking hot tub in the back.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "We're gonna fuck bitches till they in stitches. Actually, I'm just kidding. I got engaged.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "9-11, bitches! We're gonna fly two planes into the club!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "We're just uncomfortable around so many Confederate flags. / And the lawn jockeys.", "c": ["Brian", "Beth"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "So, you know, Gary and I both have our swimming holes and our fishing holes and all the holes you could ever possibly want.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "He just wanted to make his little girl as happy as a hound dog with a horse's Johnson.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "There's no food here, and the baby and I just got so hungry, and I need you to not be mad at me because I just... I just had... I had one bite.", "c": ["Marjorie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Did your lady boss send you down to get her 'tampoons,' did she? / No, that's not till next week.", "c": ["Judge", "Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "I am so sick of you lording over me how much you know about football and hair color and how much better dead baby Bruce is than me!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Just shut up, Daddy! I am so sick of you lording over me how much you know about football and hair color and how much better dead baby Bruce is than me!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "I dropped it over the side of the Staten Island Ferry while pretending to be Melanie Griffith in 'Working Girl.'", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "when I was in high school, I used to pretend to be sick to stay home and jerk off to Jane McCabe.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Wait, this is Leon West's diary. / What? / Oh, my God, it is. / So, where's yours? / And the little boy with the broken roller skates? He grew up to be Egyptian President Anwar Sadat.", "c": ["Amy", "Mike"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "He's pissing himself!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "It's actually... it's like what my daddy used to say. He used to say, 'If that story was like a horse, it'd be a unicorn. 'Cause it was magical.'", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "No wonder you had a heart attack when you were 39.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Judge"}, {"t": "Suddenly now white lives matter?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "What is the host of Christmas past doing here?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "'Cause all this learning is giving me a yamaka-ache.", "c": ["Character learning about Judaism"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Well, why should her cervix be any different than the rest of her?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "She has a penis?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Did you put a towel or anything underneath her? Because, girls, this is imported French linen.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "or even a garbage bag, you know, in case she leaks.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "You could get murdered in my country for saying something like that.", "c": ["Jaffar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "From the moment I entered the the White House.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Now that's a pun!", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Which, again, is tomorrow night, not tonight, despite the title.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Whatever happened to half a bottle of red wine and three Virginia Slims?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "My cervix is as tight as a snare drum.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "I once dry-shaved that woman's legs under her desk during a cabinet meeting.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "I know how to spell my last name, Kent.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Are you fucking kidding? I'm not in here. I ruined her administration, like, four times. You'd think that'd count for something.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "The shutdown really hurt you in Massachusetts' anus. AKA New Hampshire.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Whoa, I'm only up five on Skeevy Deevy?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "I went to summer camp with that dude and he was too afraid to get changed in front of the other boys.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "It was you. How do you know, Kent? Were you at that summer camp?", "c": ["Kent", "Jonah"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Are you out of your fucking mind? I still have my trust.", "c": ["Shawnee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "I mean, Jane... I will always remember Jane covering the moon landing. I mean, I studied that footage. That beautiful black and white stuff.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "I told them you didn't want cake.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "It's kind of like the wave in 'The Perfect Storm,' except in this case, the wave is made out of shit and our boat is also made out of shit.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "This isn't an article, this is a gang bang on a pinball machine!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "What have you and your 47 tangled chromosomes done?!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "I should've gotten a diary with a little lock on it, but I didn't wanna lock myself out.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Well, now it's on top of you, it's knocked your teeth out, and it's making sweet love to your face!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "God, get out of here, you great walrus Judas!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "What's up, white boys? Yo, you guys ready to drop that rock?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Oh, God, who the fuck invited Dikembe Mutomtard?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Even Kobe Bryant wouldn't rape you in those things.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Balls are the only thing keeping me from choking on cocks. Without balls, I'd be swallowing dicks whole just like Joey Chestnut.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "My presidency just got caught with a tranny hooker on Sunset Boulevard, and I have to make America think that I was just giving her a ride home.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "In sleeping with my trainer, I think you could say I did not exercise good judgment.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "And maybe give him some of that lesbian cooze potion.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "You sound like the world's gayest AM radio show.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Come on, nobody's asking you to engage in some sort of human pleasurable activity. I know that's not your bag.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "One of these days, she's gonna make that face and that eyeball of hers is gonna pop out and shoot across the room.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Woodward minus Bernstein plus Propecia.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "and I do 'cause I slept with him for two years...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "You can have Amy. You can have her. Probably better from behind, though, you know...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "It is a toxic infant blowout out both diaper legs and up the back of the onesie.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "We were telling so many lies, I had to write them down to keep them straight. Any decent lawyer would've told me to do that.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "I was a patsy, but to my knowledge, this is just the tip of the iceberg. These revelations will continue to come out in a steady drip, drip, drip... like the leaky prison faucet I was forced to drink from.", "c": ["Mike on TV"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Although, actually, one time, Andrew did hide one of his women in the closet, so she had reason to be somewhat alarmed.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Why is your plane always fueled? Well, you know, in case... Let's just say that I've got some cousins... who sometimes get very angry at some of your tall buildings.", "c": ["Jaffar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Amy committed perjury today, written in crayon and mustard stains.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "I thought about teaching high school, but, I mean, girls these days just can't keep a secret.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Yeah, she's telling Page Six that she and Brie are clam slamming. Vaginas are so gross. I wish I didn't have one. Sometimes I forget I do.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Well, the history books are being rewritten, and this time, it's not Texas saying Satan made fossils.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "God bless the media and their 'fly hitting a windshield' attention span!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Take that cum shot in all four eyes, Leon.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "It's gonna put a real turd in her chalupa.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "The three Meyersketeers hang a shingle?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Shut the fuck up, you epileptic Picasso painting!", "c": ["Uncle Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "That tranny knuckle-dragger is my fianc\u00e9e.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "I am pulling this creature from the jizz lagoon right off the New Hampshire congressional ballot", "c": ["Uncle Jeff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Ezra has more raw political talent in the tip of his rosy-head pecker than you have in this mangled abortion coat hanger you should be ashamed to call your body.", "c": ["Uncle Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Is that before or after I scheduled the surgery to cut my dick off so you could marry me?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "He wants to gargle my nuts and tickle my taint?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Oh, the 'Lhasa Express' gives it five namastes.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Yes, in sleeping with my trainer, I did not exercise good judgment.", "c": ["Selina on TV"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "Leon West will not let go. He follows me around and thinks about me 24/7, nonstop. Cuckoo.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "A Woman First"}, {"t": "We heard back from Yale. - Oh! Their response was no.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Yes. Your stay in the insane asylum, it's really agreed with you. - Oh. It was a spa.", "c": ["Unknown", "Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "God, I really thought we were gonna win Guam.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Jesus, I need to get drunk and slop-fuck an intern.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "See, the box is empty to show that all you need to be happy is right here. - Well, that's stupid. - Yeah, it was a waste of $30.", "c": ["Richard", "Jonah", "Richard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "In two years, I'm gonna run against my motard cousin, Ezra", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Can I petition for a recall against Ezra? - Unequivocally, no. - That's a great idea. - That's awesome.", "c": ["Jonah", "Richard", "Jonah", "Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I'll let you be Aquaman. No tidal wave.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Does a rabbit need a yearly vaccination for myxomatosis? It does. Well, maybe. It depends on the rabbit. - But, yes.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Well, we'll have to see what I look like later wearing nothing but blood diamonds.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "How come you never talk about your stay in Arizona? - Oh, I love the Grand Canyon. - That's not an answer.", "c": ["Reporter", "Selina", "Reporter"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Here she is, the most beautiful woman in the spa.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Ma'am, that was a month ago. Gary is humoring you. - Okay. - Gary, are you sure that this isn't too much medication?", "c": ["Marjorie", "Selina's mother", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "People think we're married. - I think it's the perfect amount.", "c": ["Selina's mother", "Gary"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I'll have what she's having.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "He's like a bald dog with a bone.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "The editors think he's lost all sense of objectivity, and he's eating Luna bars for women.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Exactly what it's like to be a woman. - Yeah, also what it's like to be a woman.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "It looks like a vagina, ma'am. - See? Okay, that's from an expert.", "c": ["Marjorie", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Well, you don't have any frame of reference.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "You could be, but you chose politics. - What is this, the clitoris?", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "You know what would be funny? We should put the men's bathroom there. - They'll never find it.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Well, actually, ma'am, the female pleasure center is quite extensive. - Ah. - Uh, no, it's not.", "c": ["Marjorie", "Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "And that's the crypt, ma'am. - Right, that's what I just said. - No, the crypt. - What? - I'm gonna be buried there?", "c": ["Architect", "Selina", "Architect", "Selina", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna have my vagi-brary underground railroaded by this.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "But he's Italian, so he knows how to keep bodies buried.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I mean, when did we build an Indian casino gift shop? - It's the nursery.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Or is the baby gonna play chess against death?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Listen to me, Catherine Kinte...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Blacks got the vote in 1870. When did women get the vote? 1920! - Sistas! - Well, the Voting Rights Act was in 1965.", "c": ["Selina", "Marjorie", "Catherine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "And 1/16 French Huguenot.", "c": ["Marjorie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "No, I'm talking about grandmother.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I am not about to buried in a twat of my own making!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Hughes would never do this if I was a male VP. We'd be out, shotgun and beers and sucking each other off like Carter and Mondale.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "The president doesn't actually want you to do anything other than continue to be a woman, which you're doing a pretty okay job at.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "As me walking out of a bar with less than 10 types of semen in my hair.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "You're about as welcome here as Jerry Sandusky at an open call for 'Oliver.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Anything I can do to annoy the Armenians.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "It's like that fagela cowboy movie. 'I can't quit you.' - Yes, thank you, sir. Butch and Sundance.", "c": ["Unknown", "Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "It's Meyer. There's no 'S' at the end. - Oh, Jewish. - No, mm-mm. No. - No? - Oh, what a great county this is.", "c": ["Selina", "Mayor", "Selina", "Mayor", "Mayor"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Can you believe I put a pen in my pocket without a cap? And Sally was helping me get the stain out.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "So maybe you could help us grease the knob or the wheel or whatever it is.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I wish your husband was here because I would love for him to hear about the story of you and Andrew on the bus with the pen.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Ready for a 'chunge.' - First 'chunge,' we're gonna fix that slogan. - Really? - I'm kidding. It's great.", "c": ["Chung team", "Amy", "Amy", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "That's so funny because the lady who does my Brazilian is from Hong Kong. - Oh! - It's Kismit. - I know. It really is, isn't it? - No, her name is Kismit.", "c": ["Selina", "Jaffar", "Selina", "Jaffar", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "My God, looks like Queen Kong's cooter. - That's what we were going for!", "c": ["Quartie", "Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "The KKK... that's the Kool Kweers of Kolor... is having a 'pee-in' in front of Skull and Bones.", "c": ["Yale President"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Yale pulled out without even coming on my tits?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I wish I had let you do anal. It would've hurt less than this!", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "No. My God, I'm not a goat.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I think I wanna run for Congress.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Well, if we're judging by sex organs, which apparently we're not, it's a boy.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Would you like to hold him, Grandma'am? - I'll take your purse. - No, it's fine. - I'll just give him a boop-boop, pat-pat.", "c": ["Catherine", "Gary", "Selina", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "You're Monica from 'Monica.' - Oh, yeah! - It is a dream of mine to cook with you someday. - It's my dream, too.", "c": ["Gary", "Monica", "Gary", "Monica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Aluminum? Tenafly? Ribbon?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "However, out of respect for your veganism, I got you the wipe warmer instead.", "c": ["Jaffar"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Everyone say hello to Little Richard. - Is that the baby's name? - Yes. - No, it's not.", "c": ["Selina", "Reporter", "Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I would rather never have a presidential library than to have one that is built on the backs of dead slaves.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Oh, and this is my lesbian daughter's Native American lesbian life partner, Marjorie.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Both my daughter and my mother have struggled greatly with very serious mental health problems. - What?", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I dreamt that I removed Leon West's balls with an ice cream scoop and I think I actually came.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Is everything always ice cream with you?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I leaked it to Leon. - Why? Why would you Kurt Cobain your own library?", "c": ["Amy", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Because, girlie, only former presidents have libraries.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Who cc'd Mike? - I get it, I'm Ringo. - We need champagne! - No, Amy's Ringo. You're Mark David Chapman's bullet.", "c": ["Mike", "Mike", "Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "We are gonna ride that Dalai Lama like Mrs. Lama on book club night.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Muslim baggage?", "c": ["Jaffar"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I was here in 2012, 'Steve Bing'd' a couple stewardesses.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I'm pregnant and it's yours. - Fuck!", "c": ["Amy", "Dan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I wanna feel their feelings and I wanna hear their speakings.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I chose the South Bronx so I could feel and smell what America was all about. - It smells good!", "c": ["Selina", "Audience member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "And Puerto Rico... if they can vote for president...", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "Judiciary, legislative, and there's a third.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Groundbreaking"}, {"t": "I hate this country.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Yes, your stay in the insane asylum? It's really agreed with you. - Oh, it was a spa.", "c": ["Unknown", "Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Selina Meyer travels the globe, spreading democracy like patient zero.", "c": ["Narrator/Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "No justice, no library!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "White working-class voters.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Well, second time's the charm. - Uh, it's actually the fourth. - Yeah, fourth time's the charm.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "I don't really get it, actually.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Strategic Hypermetric Electoral Interactive Logistical Algorithm.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "I like her more than I like the deaf girl. - Whatever happened to her? - The police have no leads.", "c": ["Kent", "Amy", "Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "This isn't a Terrence Malick movie. Sit.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "What? Jesus, I thought you sent that thing to the 7-Eleven dumpster in the sky already.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Waitin' for the thing to get into fucking college?! What are you doing?!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "I don't know what she's saying, so... here.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "If you want me to use my own goddamn words, then write me something to say.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "And take out the stuff about immigration 'cause I feel like it's a little too issue-y.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Right now I'm standing here, with my dick in my hand, in Cedar... Falls, Iowa!", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "If Mohamad Atta had you people booking his travel, he'd still be alive today. Which from his perspective, would be a massive fuck-up.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Muslim or white guy? - Don't know yet. - Which is better for me? - White guy. - Fingers crossed.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben", "Selina", "Ben", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "What dumb asshole said that?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "How about I write 500 pages about how you need to start wearing concealer?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Two wheelchair guys behind him? What, we didn't get the point with the first one?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "One wheelchair guy, good for you, two wheelchair guys, shame on me.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "You're supposed to say, 'That's not our plan.'", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "What are you supposed to say then when the baby is being an asshole? For instance.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Catherine is Mama, and I'm Mom-Mom. - You didn't want to go with Mommy and Agent Palmiotti?", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "How can you tell? - Well, the haircut.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "We still enjoy sex in the mornings, but in the evenings, hardly ever. And rarely penetrative.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Blue is the Most Annoying Color.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "So I can nuke America. - That's actually not bad.", "c": ["Amy", "Leon"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Why was six afraid of seven? Why? Because of my seven-eight-nine tax plan.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "You know what I always thought the funniest number was? Eleven.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Yeah, Beth's my stepsister. - Did you guys not know that?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "It's not like Beth and I did anything, unless you count her walking in while I was whackin' off all the time.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Because of my court-ordered chemical castration.", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "This doin' anything for you? Huh, right there? You like that? Not even a little tickle?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "I didn't have my breakfast this morning, I will admit, so that makes me quite hungry.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "My heart goes out to the families of the victims, and I want to offer them my, uh... mindfulness... and, uh, meditations un-unto the Lord", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Even the name sounds like it's on meth.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "'Boasters are roasters,' my Grandma Splett would always say. She had a form of rhyming dementia. It's called Lyndrome Syndrome.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Richard, is chocolate bad for dogs? - Oh, no, not bad. Deadly.", "c": ["Selina", "Richard"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "You love standing next to ugly women.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Ma'am, you're thinking of Idaho. Iowa is mostly meth labs.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "That's mainly just a difference in branding.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "I thought Keith Quinn was someone else!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "This is a really big step up for me.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "It's not like I murdered her.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "I married my half-sister. - No, stepsister!", "c": ["Jonah", "Beth"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "She doesn't give birth to a pile of legs or whatever.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "I haven't eaten all day.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "I don't want people to think that I was going for Mee-gan Ee-gan because that sounds like someone who gets ass-fucked on the Major Deegan in a limerick.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "To give it to you, of course.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "I took a dump on the glass ceiling, and I shaved my muff in the sink of the old boys' club.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "America owes me an eight-year stay in the White House, and this time, I want a war!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "It sounds like I'm shouting from a balcony in Munich. - Like Evita!", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "My spidey sense tells me she's gonna yelp like a seagull in a bread factory.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "If you wanna go Dutch or whatever on the abortion, just hit me up on Venmo, OK? Oh, you know what? Make it public, OK? Shows I'm a gentleman.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "This place has feminine symbolism spurtin' out of its dickhole.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Prancing in here with this la-dee-da attitude and total 'disregahd' for the working class people of this country", "c": ["Nick Spooner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Actually, it's a synecdoche. - Technically, it's more of a goat rape than a clusterfuck.", "c": ["Ben", "Kent"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Twenty-seven people have been killed. - Oh, my God. - Hohhh. - This can... work for us?", "c": ["Gary", "Ben", "Selina", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "We have to send that shooter a nice thank-you card. - Actually, he shot himself before he could be apprehended. - I'll send something to his wife. - Oh. Actually, he shot her first.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary", "Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "Those hands are for making me Hot Pockets and nothing else.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "The field could not be any clearer.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Iowa"}, {"t": "I'm not her brother, and I never was. Except for that one year.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Ben, I really don't like being told what to do. / Well, Felix Wade is the biggest bundler in the party, and he loves making millionaires square dance.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I would have invited my wife, but she's a squirter, and that dress doesn't look like it's been Scotch-guarded.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "For that amount of money to my campaign, I'll do-si-do for his do-si-dough.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Bridges made of ideas. / No wonder the rest of the world hates us.", "c": ["Felix", "Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Why? You're so skinny. / N... Oh. Yeah.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Ma'am, I ran a little intel, and apparently the secret to Felix Wade is to always repeat the last two sentences that he says. / Come on, that is idiotic. He's really that insecure?", "c": ["Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Well, I'll tell ya a secret, it's the only reason I'm really running for president. / Really? I feel like you should have a better reason than that.", "c": ["Selina", "Felix"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Isn't it astounding that the next President of the United States is being chosen by a closeted ex-record producer?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "And is it just me, or does Felix's friend seem a little young? / He'll look older after Felix switches blood with him.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Felix Wade's sexuality is the worst best-kept secret since Clyde Tolson's hysterical pregnancy. The man lives in a vast invisible closet.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Wow. It always has to be about her. / Never fails. / Every time.", "c": ["Amy", "Dan", "Jonah"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Gary vomiting noises and subsequent awkward silence", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Hey, is Kim here? / No, she got fired for sleeping with you. / Buzzfeed runs a notoriously tight ship.", "c": ["Dan", "Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "What do you know about new media, Mike29748@aol.com? / Oh, no. I got hacked. It's Mike53729. / Still @aol though, right? / Until I die.", "c": ["Dan", "Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Amy's bulimic. / What?! / Well, it's about time.", "c": ["Gary", "Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "And I'll tell ya something, she might want to consider a little more purging, a little less bingeing. / God, that girl can't do anything right.", "c": ["Ben", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Amy, you got some vomit on your mustache.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "What the Rocky Mountain fuck?!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Look what the Gulfstream dragged in. / Gosh, I didn't see a TED talk for fake folksiness on the schedule.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "That makes me moister than an oyster. / Plus or minus four points. / OK, still pretty moist.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Good Lord, what's up with Frigid Von Pole-Up-Her-Ass? / That is my Deputy Chief of Staff, Michelle York. She's basically my Amy.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I want all eyes on Tom now. He cannot spend another second with Felix without me jammed in between 'em like the cross-piece on an Eiffel Tower three-way. / MMF. The Devil's threesome.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "She's basically my Amy. Well, my Amy has bulimia.", "c": ["Tom", "Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I actually consider her to be a bit of a prot\u00e9g\u00e9e. / Does she know that? / Thought I was your prot\u00e9g\u00e9e. / No, you're Ben's prot\u00e9g\u00e9e. / Not a very good one.", "c": ["Selina", "Amy", "Ben"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "An all-female ticket? I don't think so. The American people work hard for a living, OK? They don't need that kind of bullshit!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Did Senator Isles try and... grab your ass? / Oh, yeah. / He used to say that mine was like a candy apple.", "c": ["Selina", "Kemi"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "For the inappropriate... / Oh, yeah, right. 'Cause that's bad now.", "c": ["Selina", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Well, that's funny that you sprinted around the entire deck to just bump into me sight unseen.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Oh, is that so, Captain Morgan? Thank you so much for man-telling me that. / I believe the word you're fumbling for is 'mansplaining.'", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Well, science tells us that it will be difficult... but within five years, I want America... to put a man on Ellen DeGeneres.", "c": ["Congressman Ryan/Jonah"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "It's pretty good, right? / It's great, thank you. / She's a lesbian. / No, we get it. / We get the joke.", "c": ["Jonah", "Richard", "Interviewer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Well, that could be anybody. / Sounds like you.", "c": ["Jonah", "Teddy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Jonah, who have you traumatized? Start with the doctor who delivered you.", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Oh, Schnozz? She was stuck up, I was just callin' her on it.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Oh, Monster Tits and Monster Tits, Jr.? But all I did there was express some genuine concern that they had bras big enough to handle all that meat. / At the Congressional Prayer Breakfast. / Yeah. It was exactly what Jesus would have done.", "c": ["Jonah", "Teddy", "Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "if anyone asks, tell 'em you've been chemically castrated. It's very easy to lie about. Believe me, nobody checks.", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "In current gay parlance, Dan presents somewhere between a 'wolf' and an 'otter,' some would call a 'frost otter.'", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Nice try, Grandma, but you aged out of Felix's demo back in the 20th century. / Uh, I'm 39-and-a-half. / You may want to start coloring that gray.", "c": ["Felix", "Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Yeah. It was exactly what Jesus would have done. I mean, he's a man too, Teddy.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "And I would give you one word of advice, which is to try laxatives. / I'll tell you why. It saves your teeth.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I'm pregnant. / Can you imagine? I'm pregnant. / That's not funny. / Now I'm gonna be sick.", "c": ["Amy", "Gary", "Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Dan fucked you? / Mm-hmm. / What, were you wearing a full-length mirror?", "c": ["Selina", "Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Listen, I did not spend my entire life defending a woman's right to choose for you to choose this.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Do you know that there's one girl that worked in my office who had four kids. / What was she, a possum?", "c": ["Felix", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "The thing I realized about hip hop before anyone else is that the artists would sign away the publishing rights for next to nothing! / That's an incredible anecdote!", "c": ["Felix", "Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "But it takes a brave person to be able to see one's shortcomings. / Yeah, it does. / In this day and age, it's very, very refre... / Remarkable. / Refreshing. / Refreshing was the word I meant.", "c": ["Felix", "Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "You are a stone-cold, neck-down hottie. I want the whole world to know we dated.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I split the bill on all my dates. Why would I pay for a girl to get fatter?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "God, Jamaican jerk Jesus, just sign this! / No, Teddy! Jonah Ryan will not be silenced.", "c": ["Amanda", "Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Did you offer to blow him? / Tut-tut, Selina. We do not refer to Mr. Wade's sexual orientation. / Sorry. / But yes. Yes, I did.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't tell him you were a lousy lay. / Probably read it in our books.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Selina, I mean it. You're in my head all the time. You always have been and you always will be. / Yeah, yeah. / I love you. / Ma'am.", "c": ["Tom", "Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "She's having a textbook aneurysm. / Still looks like a goddess.", "c": ["Ben", "Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "That was the most humiliating experience I've had in my entire life, and I was Vice President of the United States...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Which, I was all for it when it killed my dad, but it's not so funny when the shoe's on the other ventricle.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Which, I was all for it when it killed my dad, but it's not so funny when the shoe's on the other ventricle.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "When I had my face-lift, we told people that you were having a face-lift.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "When I had my face-lift, we told people that you were having a face-lift.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "And then we blow each other's brain's out. / Yeah.", "c": ["Tom", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Is it gonna explode between my legs and make me cum until I cry? / I think it's peppermint.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I mean, you pull it out to cum on her tits 'cause you think it's gonna make you feel alive. But it doesn't matter where you cum, Ames. Ya know? It just doesn't. It just... It doesn't.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "They could reassure people that look like him that their country wouldn't be ruined by people that look like her.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "How about we disrupt the election? / I'm addicted to disruption, especially since I stopped using cocaine.", "c": ["Selina", "Felix"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "A lot of you knew me when I was really little and I was just running around in diapers. And now here we are, and a lot of you are wearin' diapers.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "'Lyin' Ryan.' That's gonna stick.", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "But finally, people are starting to believe women, and I believe Amanda when she says, 'Not me. Not. Me.' / That's catchy too.", "c": ["News anchor", "Teddy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "The first one since Carter-Mondale.", "c": ["Felix"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I'm just about to fuck this really hot 19-year-old cater waitress. OK? Oh, and get this. Her name's Meagan.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "No one. Literally no one ever wants prosecco.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "you're gonna be drowning in money so dark it could get shot entering its own apartment.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Seriously, it's America's first two-cooter ticket.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "How dare that smooth shitsack cheat on his wife and risk his political future with someone that's not me?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Just because Felix Wade is gayer than an Eames chair in assless leather chaps doesn't mean that he's some sort of fashion diva.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Thousands of unattractive women.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I stand behind these brave, unattractive women who have come forward to say, 'Not me.' / Once upon a time, back in high school, I too did not date Jonah Ryan.", "c": ["Beth Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Looks like we're not the only campaign who farted and had to throw their pants away.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Where is that fat-faced, freckled fuck-it-up-agus?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Hiding in the bathroom, ma'am, making pretend diarrhea noises.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I just can't believe that that second-hand Muppet wrote an article that people actually read.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I'm gonna choke him with that giant cock of his, see how he likes it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Because back in our old Senate days, this one here had a real thing for blond hill rats in Nine West pumps desperate to fuck their way to the middle.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Congratulations. Then you probably won't fuck it up.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "God, I feel so sorry for whoever's stickin' their dick in that bag of mayonnaise.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "The tri-racial twat stabbed me in the back! / She really is your prot\u00e9g\u00e9e.", "c": ["Selina", "Tom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "Oh, remember, lift with your back. / It's your legs. L-Legs. / No, you lift with your back. / Oh. That's incorrect. / OK, well. That could probably be the main cause of your scoliosis. / I have scoliosis? / Oh, yes. Clearly.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "That could probably be the main cause of your scoliosis. I have scoliosis? Oh, yes. Clearly.", "c": ["Selina", "Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Discovery Weekend"}, {"t": "I love you, too, Tom. Go fuck yourself.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Because of my court-ordered chemical castration.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Is chocolate bad for dogs? Oh no, not bad. Deadly.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "It sounds like Dr. Seuss fucked Maya Angelou in the yuzz-ma-tuzz and then filled her all up with snoozily-scuzz.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Not even really showing. You look beautiful.", "c": ["Gary", "Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Without the 'four years ago.' OK. Iowa! What do we want?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "When I say 'shit,' you say 'show.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Are angels real?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, somebody sneezed on our campaign, now we're bleeding out our assholes.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Last thing I need is my picture being taken eating dick-shaped food. I'd rather eat a food-shaped dick.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Maybe somebody should be interviewing the 'Times' about why they write so much about modern dance.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "How are we going to RU486 Kemi's campaign?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "No offense, Amy.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "My God, pick a lane. Jesus.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "A good union or, like, teachers?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Asbestos was the name of their pit bull. It was a rescue that killed its first owner.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "That's why you have to go to breeders.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Fantastic. Her Achilles cock.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "I'm drinking Odwalla like some country lesbian who just got to the big city.", "c": ["Felicia"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Happy Abortion Eve.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "OK, I don't know if I should be sad or turned on.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "It's my mother's side of the family. Speltt.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Then why am I not in prison for punching the president?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "I'm Jonah Ryan, and I wanna suck this message's hot clam.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "He did a really funny Chinese voice. Yeah, I expressed how horny I was.", "c": ["Teddy", "Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Well, I don't see vagina color.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "I thought we both understood I was lying.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Can you fuck off? Can do, skipper.", "c": ["Selina", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Lee. You won't get pregnant. I'll pull out and cum on your back. Again, I thought we both understood I was lying.", "c": ["Lee", "Andrew"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "He was lucky not to get dumped out of a pickup truck into a quarry.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "More of a sort of a Princess Diana thing. But classy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "It is literally the definition of retarded.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Why, is he retarded? No, but you might be.", "c": ["Jonah", "Teddy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "No. My pediatrician ran the tests. Besides, if I was, you'd know. I'd have retard face or whatever.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "It's 'Fat Guy.' Hey, Mike, have you given any thought to that thing that we talked about?", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "That's a busy beaver. Yes. Yes, indeed.", "c": ["Selina", "Mother"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "The current version only asks for donations and, for some reason, deletes your address book. Technically, it's more of a virus.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "How the fuck did that happen? It's like 'Flowers for Algernon.' I understand that reference now. It's a book.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Um... mentally retarded? No, that-- that's wrong. I see where your head is at, though, and you are technically correct.", "c": ["Jonah", "Stephanie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "That's so gay. Oh, guys, come on. I didn't mean like gay gay or like 'This guy and his husband are gay.' I meant gay like, uh, mentally retarded.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "She doesn't call that rape, by the way, that's just regular sex to her.", "c": ["Sophie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Where is that Fatty McFatty hiding today? She aborted her unborn fetus.", "c": ["Selina", "Richard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "I was an agricultural advisor. Nothing more.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Well, I did think about this. I considered it, and I cried, and yeah, suck my cock, I even prayed a little, and here I am.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "So you can back the fuck off, you hypocritical cunts, before I show up to the piss puddle that is your house and protest your husband whacking it to your daughter's seventh grade yearbook.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Her records were sealed. She was 16. She accidentally hit him with her Volkswagen Cabriolet. She is an actual murderer?! Yes! Who drives an import!", "c": ["Kent", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Actually, he was decapitated.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Guess your age? Guess your weight?", "c": ["Carnival Worker"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "You got any of those darts they use on rampaging circus animals?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Is that the Berkeley VC-10? That's like the Shelby Cobra GT of vag-vacs.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "What is up with the Clubfoot Cunt-tessa?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Yeah. Trying to screw me out of the presidency, then trying to actually screw me, then screwing me, then writing a book about screwing me. Also discussed it on television.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Are you deaf? Did you not hear what he was saying? What is wrong with you? Are you fuckin' retarded?!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Mike McLintock has had enough!", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "you have to be more PC than a clit ring made out of wheatgrass.", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "What the fuck? I gotta debate Dumbledong?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, you can't say that. I mean, only he can say that.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Say what, 'Niger'? It doesn't matter how you pronounce it, we now know that it is wrong.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "I think that the United States should send troops into countries like N-word, and I think it would be best if those troops were black.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "So we're talking about, what, $6?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Get that Benedict Ronald McDonald on the phone right now.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Dude, your mom's on the phone. She sounds pissed.", "c": ["Ellen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "is that she would like me to tell you that Senator Talbot here accidentally murdered her boyfriend in a reckless car accident when she was 16 years old. But you know what? I'm not gonna stoop to your level and say that, Selina.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "My God! I have had it with this whimpering and whining from you and your generation! It's time for you to grow a pair and man the fuck up!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "How about for once in your life you stop whining, you stop complaining, and just man up?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "God bless America for hating woman almost as much as I do.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Feels like... someone shoved a red-hot pair of barbecue tongs up my joy trail.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "I'm gonna need that back when you're done, 'cause Leon will pay big bucks for it.", "c": ["Sophie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "How would you like the chance to help lead a divisive, physically repugnant underdog to historic victory?", "c": ["Teddy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "I just found out from my stupid stepfather-- Father-in-law! From my stupid stepfather-in-law, that math was created by Muslims.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "You gonna make me say it? We got race in the race.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Pledge"}, {"t": "Can you fuck off?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Well, how come you failed me in algebra, Mr. Hennick?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "How would you like the chance to help lead a visibly repugnant underdog to historic victory?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Which one of you donkey-dongs was in charge of the balloons?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "It's universal. Men hate women, women hate themselves. The Geraldine Ferraro principle.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Full bald eagle.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "that I was the blackest white woman he ever met.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "She's not even all-black.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Plus, I'm gonna be Lion-Kinging Little Richard all around till I tear my rotator cuff.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "I thought everybody kind of did the same thing.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "No talking! / No talking! / I'm hearing moving!", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "OK, I'm gonna go hang myself from a sturdy pipe, and I'm not even gonna bother jacking off.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Don't math me, Lloyd.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Math is a plot invented by the Chinese to make smart Americans feel dumb.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "You were invented by Islamic scholars in the 7th century.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Oh! Saint Theresa's gray-haired gunt, they're fucking again?!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "I'll jam my fist up my dick hole and pull out a 40-piece set of Danish cutlery when you're president!", "c": ["Jeff Kane"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "not a human pool skimmer last used to de-spunk a Provincetown hot tub party!", "c": ["Jeff Kane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Spoiler alert: It's Danish cutlery.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "You can't just replace Gary with another lesbian and think that I'm not gonna notice", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "I learned from an Afghani warlord. / We should put him on the payroll. / You killed him in a drone strike. / Oh, well.", "c": ["Marjorie", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "You've been taking fashion advice from a man who dresses like an overgrown ventriloquist dummy.", "c": ["Marjorie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "These are fresh bagels from New York, which I'm very excited about 'cause the president hates bagels--shh-shh-shh-- and she can't even be in the same room with donuts.", "c": ["Blake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "When are you and I gonna have that pussy-eating contest?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "What about Department of the Exterior?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "It would be funny if you were American.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Remembering things and reporting them back to people is not my strong suit, but I could write it down. / Please don't write it down.", "c": ["Mike", "Gang-Hua Li"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Can I tell you something? My dad said that to a lot of white women. That was his move. Now you know.", "c": ["Jordan Thomas Jr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "I mean, did you at least watch Martin? 'Damn, Gina!' We should go.", "c": ["Jonah", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "because my mind's on my money... and my money's on my mind. Laid back.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "It's like the fat girl of Cabinet posts.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "What the tragic mulatto fuck?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "And I'm so black, people are gonna start calling me articulate.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "That's like a dog exploding space shuttle. / Dog chainsaw? / A dog leaf blower? / A dog snowmobile.", "c": ["Selina", "Various"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Something that makes a NASCAR race look like a Jay-Z concert, you know? / Actually, ma'am, Jay-Z concerts are almost all white people. / Okay, well, right? I know.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Where are you registered? Child Protective Services?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Where are you registered? Child Protective Services?", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "I love that they make clothes in your size now, Mike.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Liu sent you a message inside Mike. / A misfortune cookie.", "c": ["Ben", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "And they will not sell you out in a Beijing minute.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Consider her green-jeaned, ma'am.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "He saw a male Jesus.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "When my uncle stole me, I don't remember where he took me, but I do have this recurring dream where I almost find out.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "So was Hitler.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "I've never been more proud I taught that man to ejaculate into a cup.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Oh. Keep talkin' like Reagan, I'll work it like Nancy.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Whoops. I guess we got ourselves a 'Gift of the Magi' situation here.", "c": ["Buddy Calhoun"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Cloud berries are organic and Icelandic.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "He just fucked me right in the ass! / Son of a bitch wouldn't endorse you. / That, too!", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "I mean, that's like blowing a rape whistle while you're raping somebody.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "I mean, that's like blowing a rape whistle while you're raping somebody.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Honeydew? If I wanna pretend to be in the CNN green room, I'll draw a face on Ben's ass and call that Christiane Amanpour.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "I need potheads in my prisons. Otherwise it's just murderers and rapists. It makes for a very unpleasant atmosphere.", "c": ["Sherman Tanz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Permission to roll your breasts, ma'am? / Oh, granted.", "c": ["Marjorie", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "But soon to be the 'Black House.'", "c": ["Dr. Jordan Thomas Jr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "But the real victims are the police... 'ing.' Policing... that America does in the South China Sea.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.71, "im": 9.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "You know who else thinks that I don't have the intelligence or the 'tentrament' to be president?", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Algebra? More like Al Jazeera.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Like my prostate. Mostly black and much larger than we'd like.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "I think the Chinese just delivered.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "So go get it. [Long pause as Selina stares at Gary]", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Like Jodie Foster in John Hinckley's diary.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "If I need another Washington douche, I'll go to the M Street Rite Aid.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah! This is like looking in a mirror! / Yeah, a hot mirror.", "c": ["Jonah", "Secret Service"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "South Carolina"}, {"t": "Mayor Splett, how does it feel to be the hero of 7-Eleven? Oh, I'm no hero. I'm just a mayor.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "If I need another Washington douche, I'll go to the M Street Rite-Aid.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "That's an hour and 29 minutes too long in that former Indian concentration camp.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Good, 'cause the last one looked like the toilet bowl after William F. Buckley ate a thesaurus.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Wait. I don't have fat arms. That's just criminally insane-- and regular insane.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Just make up some death threats that are nicer.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you conjured her! Yeah, right out of my Stephen Glass-hole.", "c": ["Selina", "Leon"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "He's my ex-husband.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I can't hear you, so you're gonna have to repeat that.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Maybe in the House you can.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Your unfavorables are rising past 'accidental ethnic slur' right into 'men's room incident.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "This is the face of clinical depression, ma'am. With the hair of a mental patient.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Oh, my kingdom for a beret.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "if anyone should be depressed, it's me, but I am stable as fuck.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I wish you hadn't told me that. And yet I'm also glad that you did. I might be able to use it against you. I wouldn't... unless I have to.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Well, this has been a dry fuck on a sandy beach.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Any luck with the human Mobius strip?", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I don't look good in jumpsuits. I mean, I do, but I don't. Ya know.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "call it the Washington Post like a non-asshole", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "this is like having two different Senators with their hands up my skirt. Which actually happened to me once during a Supreme Court confirmation.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I thought it was Kent. I assumed it was you.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "The Joseph Goebbels playbook. Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty. Steal from the best.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Just give it to one of those gay-converting Baptist colleges to fund a statue of a gold-plated Jesus fucking a triceratops.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Don't say his name.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "No, I told Beth that we could go to Arkansas so she could give me a hand job in a hot spring. It's my birthday.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Your particular brand of crazy is polling very high here in Florida, especially with melanoma-loving swamp fuckers, storm-ravaged climate deniers, and deadbeat dads... and deadbeat moms.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Thirty-eight dollars? That's like a shitty gift that you get from your asshole grandmother.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "- Whatever. I'd still do her. - I'm down to clown.", "c": ["Jonah", "Beth"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Holy shit, Bruckheimer, when you get an abortion, you're supposed to leave the mangled fetus at the clinic, not staple it to the skeleton of a gay condor and run it for president.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "What Saudi prince's rape dungeon did you finger-trowel your way out of?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Nope, beat you to it.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Youngblood? Oh, that's my favorite Rob Lowe movie.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Rerouting my urethra to behind my balls so that I have to sit to pee like a real girl.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Sit your hawk asses down!", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Except for the 7-Eleven truthers. They say that no Jewish people were working in the store that day, but there's no Jewish people in Lurlene, so...", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "there's no dipping your quill in the company ink. Copy that. I mean sex. Got it. By that, I mean Willa.", "c": ["Richard", "Dan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Is that a new hairstyle?", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Are they biased against you? Well, you said it, not me, but I also say it.", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Yeah, I didn't get Clay vaccinated because it causes autism, and now he just has a little bit of autism.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "How would anyone know?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "When are you from? When! Are! You! From?!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "What, are they giving away free Tommy Bahama dick cozies?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "You mean your wisdom stripes.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "While we're at it, why don't we show 'em my estrogen patch prescription and a Polaroid of my stretch marks?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I believe it's 53. Late 40s. You're all correct.", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Me so complicit. Me go jail long time.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "we're gonna keep our wangs out of your Chinese fuckin' finger trap.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "he's always had a thing for Asians. So do I", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "This was supposed to be just a little simple bit of election-rigging!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "You wear it. Maybe you'll grow some hair on your vagina!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "That's good enough for me. Can't argue with science.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Oh! Amy. Yeah, Amy. Reminds me, I gotta Apple Pay her for my half.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "When women fall apart, they really fuckin' fall apart!", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "you need to use tweezers this time because I really thought I could taste your fingers.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "She had done a gap year abroad. She was not a true freshman.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I should have really married that gay guy my mother liked.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I know him as Luther. We met in Macao at the shark fights.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I don't think people are gonna buy that a guy who calls vaginas 'crinkum-crankums' is gonna be able to pull off some sort of multimillion-dollar fraud.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Besides: women's prison. Yeah. Wall-to-wall crinkum-crankum.", "c": ["Andrew", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. No, that makes sense, I was born in Toronto.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "\u266a Puss-ay-ay-yay \u266a \u266a In that puss-ay-ay-yay \u266a", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I think I can see you nodding your head 'yes'...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "by some magical combination of abuse and neglect managed to create the perfect daughter.", "c": ["Marjorie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Why would you buy that cow? Oh. When I can get the milk for free.", "c": ["Selina", "Marjorie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I told you I reported it sunk to insurance.", "c": ["Andrew"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "You can't just disappear, and I can't have people thinking I'm Jewish. We're right in the middle of the primaries.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Basically a two-woman race to see who is less offensive to the American people. That's the best explanation of democracy I've ever heard.", "c": ["Ben", "Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "You spent millions... Yes, yes, I did. ...on leather-bound hobo toilet paper.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I was in a relationship with a blonde, uncaring bug-eyed rage-aholic. I used to work with someone just like that.", "c": ["Mike", "Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Are you gonna keep that? Morning! Shh!", "c": ["Selina", "Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "My daughter Catherine is getting married to her lady friend Marjorie.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Hilarious. A talking company. Where would the mouth even be?", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "A... lledgedly.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "That's not Rosa. N-- Oh? Oh! There she is. That must be your mother. My sister. Your si-- sister. OK.", "c": ["Selina", "Rosa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "President Montez. Sure, why not.", "c": ["Rosa", "Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I distinctly remember you saying 'Take care of it.' OK, sure, but I didn't-- I didn't say it in a 'take care of it' kind of way. I just said take care of it.", "c": ["Keith", "Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Because I have had Botox!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Like a brain-damaged Chinaman. Or woman. Or woman. Sorry. Or the adopted child of someone with brain damage.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Name: Jonah Joy Ryan. Weight: six pounds. Length: twenty-six inches. Yeah, that's right, twenty-six inches.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Lloyd is my real dad? Of course he is. I tried to tell you a hundred times, Jonie.", "c": ["Jonah", "Nancy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "We didn't tell anyone because Lloyd and I are second cousins. God, Mom, that is vomitrocious.", "c": ["Nancy", "Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Wait, is Lloyd still my dad? Yeah, nobody knows. But you're now officially my stepsister. Half sister.", "c": ["Beth", "Nancy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Is this what it feels like to be a man?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Goddamnit! We can't even commit treason right?!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "I think it's pronounced half-white.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Ha! That was your phone.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Super Tuesday"}, {"t": "Selina Meyer! The woman who freed Tibet!", "c": ["Unknown announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "It's kinda like the Peace Prize Junior.", "c": ["Leon"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I wanna sound like Bono trying to impress his own reflection in the mirror.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "The Nobel people don't ask too many questions if you buy a table. Ma'am, at this point, they're just trying to avoid losing the building.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I think it's pronounced 'half-white.' Well, 'tomato, mulatto.'", "c": ["Mike", "Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "mini-vegan pigs in gluten-free blankets", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Because without an American marriage license, U.S. community property laws do not apply, my darling.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "That's fine. You and your maid of honor here can sit me next to whatever Injun Joe you want.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Face to face, I can convince anyone of anything. - That's not true. - Incorrect. You're both wrong. - Both: You're right.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben", "Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Lu developed a real hankering for Finnish furburger back at Camp David. He eye-fucked her so bad he got retinal herpes.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "- I don't get the attraction. - Oh, I do.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Maybe you should let 'em choke you. You think they would rather choke me than listen to me talk? I can only speak for myself.", "c": ["Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh, I didn't know you were still alive.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "The Russians reinstalled me when they invaded Georgia. Ha! - Oh, good for you. - Factory reboot. Both: Beep-boop-beep-beep-boop.", "c": ["Murman", "Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Leeds United. No English players, so pretty good team.", "c": ["Murman"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "America does not stand for foreign interference in our elections! Who do you think that I am? - Yes, of course. Of course. - It's an outrage! - New topic. New topic.", "c": ["Selina", "Murman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I'd rather deal with the Russian mob than with those real estate people. It's because they're unethical, that's what they are.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Or else we'll tell the whole world how you vaporized a DRA leader's wedding with Hellfire missiles and also took a huge laser-guided shit all over Pakistani sovereignty", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "It was classified-- until somebody on your staff clicked on 'Asian Girls Bound and Gagged.'", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Oh, Ben. Or Kent. Or Leon. Oh, God. Or Marjorie.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Hey, Siri, you fuck my dad? Siri: I don't know how to respond to that. Typical woman.", "c": ["Jonah", "Siri"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "The guests are vegan, and the president won't eat anything without a face.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "So I droned a couple wedding civilians on the wrong side of the Af-Pak border.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "'dr-droned a wedding' is, uh, American slang for, uh... 'I got it, I nailed it.'", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "No, no, no. Really. Like, 'I droned that wedding, man!' I do not think that it is slang of any kind.", "c": ["Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Do they give Nobel Peace Prizes to war criminals, Minna? All the time. Aung San Suu Kyi, Henry Kissinger", "c": ["Selina", "Minna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I called Interpol before we got in the car.", "c": ["Minna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Sweet Viking Christ! Come on!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "As the former president of the United States, truth and justice can gargle my balls.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "That's because Autistic Barbie here tattled on me over the wedding drone strike.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I'd just as soon stay at an Embassy Suites.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "She prefers the word 'spa.'", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "This is where you stick an unfuckable intern.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Last night I tried to find one non-chain restaurant to eat at, and Yelp basically told me to go Fuddrucker myself.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Save it, Manhattan Date Rape Mystery.", "c": ["Governor Ballentine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Although publically, Montez claims to be considering all options. Privately, I heard she's been doing impressions of you getting broom-sticked in prison.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Are people actually laughing at that impression? - No. - Yes.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben", "Kent"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Well, no offense, Ben, but honestly, that could be, like, tonight. - God willing.", "c": ["Selina", "Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Ambassador Costas was Montez's husband's chiropractor.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "From the bottom of my heart, I truly and completely forgive you. Now shut the living fuck up.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Streptococksucker.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "You infected all those nutballs who don't believe in vaccinations! Well, serves 'em right.", "c": ["Amy", "Jonah"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Were you too busy bed-wetting and cutting fuck-holes in watermelons? Amy, that only works with fleshy melons. And sometimes pumpkins.", "c": ["Amy", "Jonah", "Beth"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Were you too busy bed-wetting and cutting fuck-holes in watermelons?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I hate you so much I could walk into a supermarket and shoot everybody.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I hate you so much I could walk into a supermarket and shoot everybody.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "OK, you can be my dad. I can be what? You can be my dad if you want. I love you too, Daddy. No homo.", "c": ["Jonah", "Lloyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Amerikkalainen war criminal syo kaikki.", "c": ["Minna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I feel like the Grim Reaper just dropped his scythe and started eating me out!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Ma'am, we got bigger reindeer to fuck here.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Yes. Yeah, I believe it is. Apparently, Al Bashir had some sort of a private zoo, and that's actually how we were able to locate him. And boom! Wow! There goes the elephant.", "c": ["Selina", "Mike"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Yes. Yeah, I believe it is. Apparently, Al Bashir had some sort of a private zoo, and that's actually how we were able to locate him.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "but if anyone's crawling out of our cesspool of a state to become his Ag Sec, it's gonna be this pigfucker.", "c": ["Governor Ballentine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "but if anyone's crawling out of our cesspool of a state to become his Ag Sec, it's gonna be this pigfucker.", "c": ["Governor Ballentine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "They are... the same.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "They are... the same. And how is the blushing bride?", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I didn't know the theme of the wedding was Edward Scissor Sisters.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Those sandwiches aren't gonna finger themselves.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "And I'm amazed by your look.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "And I'm amazed by your look.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Fuck me with a side of ranch.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Two generations of scabs, yo!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "No. I feel fucking pretty.", "c": ["Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Joint Special Operations Command. JSOC.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Local citizens banded together in secret to assist the Nazis.", "c": ["Murman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Once, I told my enemy it was tunnel escape, but in fact, I just buried him alive. Actually, it was her, but story is funnier with a man, huh? In these MeToo days, you know?", "c": ["Murman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Just kidding. You believed me! You are bad.", "c": ["Murman", "Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Ma'am, that's the Nobel Prize of bad ideas! - No, that's economics, OK?", "c": ["Ben", "Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Oh, please, I've got America on my side, and America doesn't give a shit about anything!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Tell him to get his dick out of whatever homeless woman froze to death in front of the hotel", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Oh, Ames, I almost offered to help your career, then bang you and tell everybody in the office you're an unstable slut.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "You barely worked at the White House. Ho ho ho ho!", "c": ["Dan", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "And we can do genetic testing to make sure they're not born dead.", "c": ["Beth"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Hey, Mom, will you make us some pancakes? Go to the store to make pancakes! Both: Pancakes! Pancakes!", "c": ["Jonah", "Beth", "Nancy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "That's for dogs. Uh, that's for dogs.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "You can have Tibet. What? Yeah. You can have Tibet back.", "c": ["Selina", "Lu"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Well, it's barely a democracy, so...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "When the committee called to tell me I would be receiving the Nobel Peace Prize-- Summit award-- I considered telling them I didn't want it.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Tibet's lamas, like these right here sitting in the front row, looking at me... would certainly be imprisoned and tortured in the most vicious ways imaginable... possibly even k-illed.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "You're fired. All right, let's get out of here. Take this piece of shit.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Sorry you killed your own father and I wasn't there to see it! I can't! I can't believe you gave him chicken pox. I always had you pegged as an AIDS guy.", "c": ["Uncle Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "And I guess I don't even know if I liked him that much, because he probably woulda sucked like all of my other step-dads. And I don't care that he's dead, because I am very strong.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "There's two things Americans don't like to see get hurt: animals, and white girls on spring break.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "And when I say Lord, I mean Jesus Christ Almighty, not the Jewish one.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "He had this carne asada that I think was a family recipe. That guy stays.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Someday you'll be an old man, and you'll-- Governor, now that you're a super-delegate, have you given any thought as to who you're gonna be endorsing at the convention? Isn't there any way I can endorse all of them?", "c": ["Ben", "Reporter", "Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Isn't there any way I can endorse all of them?", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I haven't been funny since 1987.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "I just wanna be president. Do you want six almonds? No!", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Oslo"}, {"t": "Did we win? - Oh, yeah. I'm the president, and you're the First Lady. Oh, we would crush it.", "c": ["Catherine", "Marjorie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You know, it's worse having to hear it from Mike.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Guys, who gives a shit where people shit? That is literally the point, Mother.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "I'll whip the whips, ma'am.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "I'm not here. Not hearing this.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, is that still a thing?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Yeah, most importantly, he has a penis. Right, Governor?", "c": ["Selina", "DeVito"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Might want to double-check that penis. That's Kent's job.", "c": ["Ben", "Kent"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Beautiful Mindfuck. You are not gonna desecrate my convention with more of this Muslim math nonsense.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Because you were born with three umbilical cords wrapped around your neck, Hep C Kevin McHale.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Stealing South Carolina is the bedrock of our political system, Senator.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "If you can't figure out how to steal South Carolina, you have no business being president.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Right now, every Sunday pundit and poli-sci major is treating this brokered convention like it's a big-titted college gymnast whose daddy fucked with her just enough that she'll do some dirty shit, but she can still cum.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Hittin' a little close to home there, Roger, minus the big-titted part.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "But if we don't pillow-smother this sad grandma of a convention lickity-fuckin'-split, we are gonna wind up with four more years of Montez clogging up the White House plumbing with tampons.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "And may the hairiest man zip-tie me to a slaughterhouse drainage grate and make tender hate to my rear and mouth, in that order, at his leisure.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You and Kemi scissoring at the top of the ticket is gonna make everyone rock hard.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.86, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Your voice is like a crow.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "There is no place for Jonah Ryan in my administration. Or anywhere in the universe where the building blocks of life are present.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Your offer is as appealing as a Sriracha enema.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You just broke North Carolina's transgender bathroom law.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "New York Times? Krugman is positively creaming his khakis.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "The Ukraine. - A Wisconsin sister state.", "c": ["Delegate", "Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Why does everybody get good at their job after I fire them?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "In the words of the great Eleanor Roosevelt, I would rather cheese-grater my clit.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Oh, no, ma'am. I'm a cis woman. - Right. That's not a crazy question to ask.", "c": ["Catherine", "Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You and your gay pals can make me the grand marshal of the next parade that you have that messes up all the traffic.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "How'd she feel about tedious lesbians? Big fan, ma'am.", "c": ["Selina", "Catherine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "This is why everyone should just fly private.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Is he... Ah! And there he is!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Pretend to talk to me about numbers. - I was pretending. My favorite number is Euler's number.", "c": ["Ben", "Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "And by 'hell,' I mean The Kennedy School.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Oh, please. Buddy's not flirting with anything that's not wearing a leather vest and a Nazi cap.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "I want that person that I'm next to, to be a man, or, better yet, lots of men. Glory, glory, hole-elujah.", "c": ["Buddy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Glory, glory, hole-elujah.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "ABC News is doing a piece on presidential also-rans who can almost suck their own dicks.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "When you listen to rumors, you rue more than... Nope. I don't know where I was going with that.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "What's wrong with the suit? - Oh, it's not network.", "c": ["Dan", "Richard"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Have Jonah instruct his delegates of Dr. Moreau to back me", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "So are a lot of people's.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Jonah was right. He was spectacularly right! And you know what that makes me, sister? - Spitty?", "c": ["Amy", "Kent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "This is a horrific country that is falling apart because it is full of people who are different than me.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "I thought you told my mom to sell me to a child molester and use the money to get her tubes tied.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You know, the Jews have a word for this feeling I'm having right now. I can't remember it. It sounds like three Germans cumming real hard inside something that doesn't want them to.", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Listen, you Subaru-driving bull dykes! You better back Jonah on the next ballot, or you will be leaf-peeping from inside your own maple syrup-soaked assholes!", "c": ["Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "I'll give 'em five minutes, then I'll hit 'em with bad cop.", "c": ["Uncle Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "And just tell 'em they can violate me with their assault rifles and a full slab of ribs on top of a stack of slavery-free history textbooks.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Why is this so hard? I just wanna be president.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "That's not fucking funny, Kent. - I haven't been funny since 1987.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "We ruled out beets because he doesn't know what those are. Then had to rule it right back in for the same reason.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "This whole Meyer Fund story is a distraction, sir, the way a magician does tricks to distract you from how depressing his life is.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! He's having a heart attack! - Eighth time's the charm.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "One of the nice things about being dead is, it gives you time to think. Also, fewer telemarketers.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "What do you think I'm trying to do?", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "I honestly think I might be in hell. - No such place, ma'am. The concept of hell is a cultural memory of pre-Mosaic child sacrifice among proto-Judean peoples.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "It's what he always wanted.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "The party and the nation will never forget all that door you pushed open, yes, backwards and in heels.", "c": ["Tom James"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Wipe that grin-eating dick off your face.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You know, I've had a dozen heart attacks, and... You know, if I play my cards right, I'll have a dozen more, but I think this is my last rodeo.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "I mean, I could really use the break.", "c": ["Ben"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "That's not a problem. I've never met 'em.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "I mean, that Nutmeg State indefinable really turns my hydrant on.", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "The only difference is, that I was the most exciting conquest of his life, and you just had the motel room closest to the ice machine.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You are a terrible campaign manager.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "'Innocent young woman.' That's hilarious, don't you think? But that girl doesn't exist anymore. She's dead. Murdered by Tom James.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "He is not just gay, he is Sam Rayburn gay.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Being vice president is like being declawed, defanged, neutered, ball-gagged, and sealed in an abandoned coal mine under two miles of human shit!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Besides, I'm not gonna die, 'cause I got the heart and the twat of a high school cheerleader who's only done anal!", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "She is offering you vice president, you monument to vaginal dryness.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You pile of failure shaped like a rapist! - I am not shaped like a rapist!", "c": ["Amy", "Jonah"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You know, feminism.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Can you believe I'm having to deal with this right now?", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "It's like a to-do list of things we're not gonna do.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Oh, well, if I had a dollar for every 'Mother, I will never forgive you...' Bazillionaire. Correct.", "c": ["Selina", "Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Started from the bottom, now we here.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "It's stickier than a red wine-and-curry dump.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Little chia seed.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Waking up in a hotel bed... - That DeVito's a hell of a speechwriter.", "c": ["Selina", "Gary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You're gonna be Jonah's chief of staff.", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "He's a super Veep. Super Veep, he's super Veepy. Yow!", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "The President told me to pencil you in to half past go-fuck-yourself.", "c": ["Sue"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "God damn it! I'm just gonna pop my head in.", "c": ["Jonah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "David, I have to tell you, my daughter Catherine was exactly the same way, a whiner. Yeah...", "c": ["Selina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Maybe because he has two testicles.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "I think the last time I saw you, your wife was being born.", "c": ["Dan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Look at you losers waitin' around to make sure she's actually dead, while you sit in the back row suckin' on hard candies like what, Will?", "c": ["Furlong"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You'd hate the flowers.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You'd hate the flowers. But I... I brought the Dubonnet.", "c": ["Gary"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "Typical.", "c": ["Richard"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "I've just been told that four-time Academy Award-winning actor Tom Hanks has died at the age of 88.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.75, "sn": "Veep", "ss": "veep", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "Veep"}, {"t": "You folks see that flashing sign up there? Now, that sign says \"applesauce.\" No, no, I'm kidding. It says \"applause.\"", "c": ["Warm-up Host"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "And now, because only he brings out the natural luster of the wood... Larry Sanders!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "You are already so much better than last night's audience... who came in here and looted the place. I wanna thank them for returning the couch and Hank.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Well, good to know you're watching my competition.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm a little frustrated because we had Jerry Brown on this show. He didn't actually play a number with the band... but he did score them some great coke.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I was really leaning towards voting... for the Captain of Captain and Tennille... because evidently, he at least has some military experience.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Ted Kennedy got married this last weekend... and boy, he's gonna be in for a surprise when he sobers up, huh?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.82, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "- I liked it very much. - Well, you're mistaken.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I swear, I feel I would be doing one of those CNN interviews... looking into the camera going, \"Come on, Suzie. You know you did it with me. Say something.\"", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "His Carol Channing was terrific. It was. You know, Patriot Games should have been a musical.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "You could see her thigh between that short skirt and the boots? - I still see it.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "- The monologue. - There's a monologue in every show.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I'll come over later and stick a red hot poker up your ass. We'll call it even. - Okay. You have my address, right? - And your poker size.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "A network president shouldn't be allowed to say Hello, Larry.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "What do we do to keep our advertisers happy... other than giving them free hand jobs?", "c": ["Sheldon"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Well, you know, knowing the sponsors the way I do... I just think they would respond more to the hand jobs.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I didn't know that. Hank's the fucking Green Giant?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Gee, I didn't know we were still owned by the garage-door opener people.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "That is no way to talk about Miss Parish.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Garden Weasel, honey. It's the Garden Weasel. - Even funnier. - The Garden Weasel. Weasel's funnier.", "c": ["Larry", "Jeannie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I'm sure that bitch Melanie's laughing her ass off.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Artie said when we got out of the meeting... 'I swear I killed that woman in Korea.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Honey, it's not your Make Me Laugh audition tape, is it?", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "From the Pan Am files. I was halfway to Fort Worth, when all of a sudden it hit me... I'd left my briefcase back at the terminal at JFK.", "c": ["Larry in commercial"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I'm not in a position to say no. They'll think I'm an asshole. They'll think I'm not a team player.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I'm a day away from just being the funny weather man in Tuscon. 'Oh, but on this good side, it's dry heat.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Paula says Robert Hays is booked on the show tonight... but he fell in the shower and he's seeing shapes and colors and stuff.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Perfect. I won't ask him anything tough.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Permission to speak freely? - Permission granted.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "That one Green Giant spot has really been a monkey on my back.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Mommy? Mommy, why can't I ride the dog?", "c": ["Robert Hays"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Mommy? Mommy, why can't I ride the dog? I had you going, didn't I? I had you going.", "c": ["Robert Hays"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I swear I killed her in the war. - You used that line yesterday.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "It's just that I don't even own a Garden Weasel. Never used one. It's a little unethical, don't you think?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Unethical? Geez, Larry, don't start pulling at that thread. Our whole world will unravel.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know not what you applaud for.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Well, maybe you caught the reflection in that magnifying makeup mirror.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I'm about 100 yards off the green here. I'll try a five Weasel.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "And by the way, it's been years since I've said that.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "And by the way, it's been years since I've said that.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I hit Jimmy Hoffa.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I feel quite certain our client didn't expect to hear... the name of a dead Teamster used as a selling point.", "c": ["Melanie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "You know the truly frightening thing? - What? - I'm really turned on right now.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I understand that. I used to be single.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I understand that. I used to be single.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "You tell that Korean woman that she's wrong. - She is not Korean. Everybody thinks she's Korean.", "c": ["Larry", "Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Why not just call it the Amazing Rat Stick?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Should I have said the Fabulous Vermin Instrument?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "If you were a guy, I'd take you outside right now. - If you were a guy, I'd go.", "c": ["Larry", "Melanie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I was tying my shoes this morning... I walked into the door, bumped my head. - Whatever. - No, that's what really happened. - All right, a woman hit me.", "c": ["Larry", "Melanie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "I was tying my shoes this morning... I walked into the door, bumped my head. - Whatever. - No, that's what really happened. - All right, a woman hit me.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "America. Everything she stands for.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Hello, Garden Weasel!", "c": ["Audience"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "This Garden Weasel does the work of ten men and a boy. - How many boys, Hank? - One small boy.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "And if Unidac Electronics has a little problem with this... they can screw a lightbulb up my ass and use me as a desk lamp.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Don't take this as a threat, but I killed a man like you in Korea... hand to hand.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Don't take this as a threat, but I killed a man like you in Korea... hand to hand.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Garden Weasel"}, {"t": "Now, that sign says 'applesauce.' No, I'm kidding. It says 'applause.'", "c": ["Warm-up Comedian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.03, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "And now, because it's an F.A.A. Regulation... your flight attendant, Karen Jackson.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "To applaud, hold the hands out and away from the body... with the palms facing each other. Bring palms together firmly and quickly and continue to breathe normally.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "In the event of a sudden loss of interest in one of tonight's guests... your seat cushion may be removed and used as a pillow.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "I think the only thing Karen forgot to add... is please do not stand until we've come to a complete halt... which I think we just have.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "the bad thing about earthquakes when they happen in Los Angeles... is it makes it more difficult to shoot straight.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "she started to yell, 'It's the big one.' And I said, 'Thank you very much.' And then she said, 'No, it's the quake.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "After the show was over, they laughed for an hour... they had fun with us for an hour, then they got dressed and just left.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Please, stay. I like to cuddle afterwards. And, you never know, an hour later I may feel like putting on another show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Sleep well. Remember, we'll all be sleeping at the same time.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "My house? I'm in a lawsuit with the contractor... because the walls are bleeding like a miracle.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "This is an office, not a club. David, I know this is total torture... but you gotta do your act for me so Larry can hear the content.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Like anyone goes, 'Oh, he's good. I like his work.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "And the flight attendant will come by and pull the curtain shut. 'Sorry.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "You make that little face? That is so Spade, and Larry loves that.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "You will not. You will not change a thing. That's what this show needs... penis, and plenty of it.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "How many times you been on, Paula? Never. Exactly. So show Mr. Spade here a little respect.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "You can't say 'penis.' Got it.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "The Hon... No, I've got a new Mustang. It's brand-new.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "I guess it's that time. Thanks for coming by. So... Long? So long. I'm gonna go drive the Mustang.", "c": ["Larry", "David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Nice kid.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "I am not allowed to talk about show business, Artie. Put on Leno, honey. Please?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "I thought he was doing our show tomorrow, Artie. What the fuck is this?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "You don't do two talk shows back-to-back. It's an unspoken rule. Maybe it's so unspoken that he didn't know about it.", "c": ["Larry", "Jeannie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Maybe it's so unspoken that he didn't know about it.", "c": ["Wife"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "My feelings are hurt, honey, and by a man.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Book Nell Carter on the show. We'll lock her in her dressing room for three days and don't feed her. Then throw David Spade in there with a piece of HoneyBaked ham down his pants.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "All those years in the merchant marine have served you well, Paula.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "If I can't, I'm gonna dress up like Nell Carter and kick his ass myself.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Do you want me to make Spade fall in love with me, then hurt him? He can.", "c": ["Beverly", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "By the way, Lenny and Squiggy say hi.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Sure. I saw Buddy Ebsen's head floating over my dresser. But he vanished. Slept like a dream.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "I'm surprised you didn't smell Leno's cologne on the little rat bastard.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "My pal Ray Combs hosts Family Feud, he's getting her on his show for me. Is that right? Yeah. Great. Her and her family? No, just her.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Sometimes when they have a family with just four people... they slap on a fifth person and make them a cousin or whatever. They do that? Hush-hush.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Can't you hear my voice that I'm saying no to you? Please? I'm saying no. We're such good friends, and you can't hear that I'm saying no to you?", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "No! For God's sakes, no, Hank! You talk to you, and you don't hear!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Why is Larry so mean? What is he, 'Sadge'?", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Try and get him to say 'Klingon.'", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "The handset's broken, but we're alone.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Isn't Star Trek the most obvious, unoriginal choice you could make? I mean, come on.", "c": ["Shatner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "I'm really excited about doing this Star Trek thing the guys have written.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "DeForest Kelley and I had some problems. I mean alien-wise.", "c": ["Shatner", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "What's so funny?", "c": ["Shatner"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "You're a married woman, but don't tempt me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "When they respect you too much, there's... there's a distance.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Applesauce!", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "I haven't heard this many women applaud since my bris.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "I know it isn't, but if people could see Hank, who would look at me?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Knock, knock. Who's there? What do you mean? You said, 'Knock, knock.' No, I was just... I was just saying that.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "How do you think Merv felt?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Jesus, Merv must have been pissed off. He was not pissed off. They were on at different times of the day.", "c": ["David", "Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Hey, call me... You want me to call you? I was gonna say, 'Call me Larry.'", "c": ["Larry", "David"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Hey, call me... You want me to call you? I was gonna say, 'Call me Larry.'", "c": ["Larry", "David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "I gave him that whole manager/agent shit. And he bought it? Of course. He said it was his manager and agent? That's what he told me. You bought that horseshit?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "I gave him that whole manager/agent shit. And he bought it? Of course. He said it was his manager and agent? That's what he told me. You bought that horseshit? Are you kidding?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "We'll bump him a few times. He'll get the message. Little rat prick.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "Like anyone goes, 'Oh, he's good. He's good. Love his work.'", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 4.78, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "The Promise"}, {"t": "No, no, no, I'm kidding. It says 'applause.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "And now, because we've tried it with just the desk... and it really isn't the same... Larry Sanders!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "My dog ran by and burst into flames... and rolled to put himself out 'cause he read the pamphlets... they pass out to dogs.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "because who wants to be in a cast for six weeks? And then, you know, everybody wants to sign it. It's embarrassing.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "The next option is a bad haircut.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "but was still so embarrassed he also bought... an $8,000 toothpaste tube... and $5,000 pack of razor blades.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "This is actually the same outfit you wear to drive in L.A.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "He calls it 'the tarantula arm races.'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Two minutes ago, you were willing to take a puck to the nuts. Now you're crying over a couple of bugs.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Gigantic fuzzy insects crawling on your body, lions crapping in your lap. It's great television.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "build like this big Santa Fe style Spanish adobe house there. Then you'll be jealous because you can't live there, right?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "The night is young. Ow!", "c": ["Jancey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "They're just the deadliest spider known to man.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Watch your step. I mean careerwise.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "having a comedy club in my own home. Are you saying that 'cause you watered down the drinks?", "c": ["Jancey", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Geez, I hope one of those spiders bites you tomorrow night.", "c": ["Jancey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "So, can we start a family if I have the baby at the Greek Theater? Huh?", "c": ["Jancey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "But in the shape of a spider, honey.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Intimacy.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Were they Ludes? Soapers? Were they reds?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Ooh, pubic hair on my coconut. That's it. Sexual harassment. Where is my lawyer?", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "They look like big, hairy potatoes with legs in 'em.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "They're roller coasters. Call it what you like.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "I think he's trying out a new Lebanese thing.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "You know, talking to you is like talking to you.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Yes, it is. The fastest light in the West. Fire 'em up, partner.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Stunts are Larry's territory. Hank Kingsley shalt not trespass.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Not that I've made a stink about it, because I am not... a squeaky wheel, you know that.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "The hat?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Between you and me, I think I saw your balls at one point.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Did you really see my balls?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "That's my cup from the hockey segment.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "My God... you're a good man.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Hank, please.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Could you take your top off? I'm begging you. Could you?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "You know, make it more my style.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "I carry a spider anti-venom kit on my person at all times. I didn't bring it with me today.", "c": ["Spider Expert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "It's not easy being on this side of the cue cards.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Your check is on the way.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "You actually have to get earmuffs at a specialty shop?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "maybe you could talk to costumes about getting you a longer loincloth. I saw your balls.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "You're wrong right there. They're clearly found in plastic boxes.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "I've never complained about anyone opening up a lid of anything.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Wrong. Come on, don't you folks wanna see Hank put that on his...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "If you guys are too chicken, I'll do it.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "And you were 'mistakener.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Don't you drop me!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "It wasn't a sketch. It was a massive spastic fuck-up.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "It made the Ed Ames tomahawk throw look like a big piece of shit.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Oh, no, the spider guy said it's a mild allergic reaction. It should run its course in about a week's time... and it's hardly noticeable.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "The Spiders Episode"}, {"t": "Now, that sign says \"applesauce.\" No, no, no, I'm kidding. It says \"applause.\"", "c": ["Warm-up comedian"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "And now, because he's already been paid, so we might as well use him... Larry Sanders!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "you're so much better than last night's crowd", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Dan Quayle has gotten confused and just thinks there should be more Tru-Value Hardware stores", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "they're still giving him a picture menu and letting him point at the food he wants", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "He has a new song coming out, however, called \"Die, Crossing Guard, Die.\"", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "If I was a rapper, I already have my name picked out. It would be \"Hey, Put Ice on That.\"", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I know I would hurt myself, and my big controversial song would be \"Hey, Mom, Get Off My Back.\"", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Hank the Rapper", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "What the fuck does Dana Carvey know about doing this show?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "He does funny voices. That's what he does. \"I'm going to give you a pump up.\"", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I outgrew that horseshit in high school", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Not really. Hee Haw was on.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I'm just warming up. I'm doing your show, I gotta do you.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "You can't believe what it's doing in Malaysia. It's through the roof. - It's so sad.", "c": ["Larry", "Dana"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "The one sleeping bag thing didn't work. - First time I heard a complaint.", "c": ["Larry", "Dana"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "That's very interesting, Marty, but can you do this with your card?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "My next guest is a good friend and a great talent. Come on, put your hands together and give a big welcome for Phil... the writer.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Don't mention the name Rupert Pupkin.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Schwing.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "She's the one who reminds me I can't say \"cocksucker\" when I'm a guest. - Now you're the host, so feel free. - Cocksucker.", "c": ["Paula", "Dana"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "NBC can eat shit and die.", "c": ["Barbara"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. We sent a videotape, but nonetheless...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "before that I was a cruise director... so, all told, that gives me 12 years experience getting people to interact.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "listening.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Does that help you at all? Or should I just go fuck myself?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "you just give me a glance, I'm gonna jump right in... because that's how I carry half the show.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I'm in trouble. - I got you. Hey, now.", "c": ["Dana", "Hank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "That snotty little shit. He's not even gonna do the glance. I'll bet he's like that twit, Leno.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I'm gonna leave him standing there with his tallywhacker right in his hand.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I'm not worthy.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I feel funny... like when I used to climb the rope in gym class.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Schwing.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "You better not undo your belt. You might cause a \"flab-alanche.\"", "c": ["Dana as Hans"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Sorry, I had a little Satan twister. Sorry.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Well, well, well, so many sluts and whores, oh, my.", "c": ["Dana as Church Lady"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "You know, come on, anyone can do a monologue. Byron Allen does a monologue.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I always feel like I look like I should be in the window at Sears. \"All boys' wear, half off.\"", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "He made Herve Villechaize seem funny, but without making fun of him.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Pretty insane, but she thought you were Danish Carver.", "c": ["Fan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I threw up in it. - Oh, where? - In your top desk drawer. - Yeah, that's what that's for.", "c": ["Dana", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Hey, you clods. Who died? Hey, I'm just kidding. If someone did die, I was making a joke. Sorry.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "After one night?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "If I said something every time I saw something coming... we'd never get anything done.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Who... Who moved my desk? What is this? - Mr. Carvey said there was a draft in this corner. - A draft?", "c": ["Larry", "Assistant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Thanks, Mannix.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "You know... Boy, I do not... Yeah, there's a little something.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Heard the good news. Congratulations. - Thanks, yeah. - That is great. I was gonna tell you in the hallway earlier, but I didn't get a chance.", "c": ["Hank", "Dana"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "God knows I'm not friends with Arsenio... and I swear to God, Leno tried to hit me with one of his big cars the other day.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Schwing.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.19, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Some of the things you do are not quite right.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Hank, you speak very slowly.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "After the show, remind me to turn you on to a little thing called decaf.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I'm hosting the show tonight. What? That's right. I'm hosting the show tonight. I was bored on vacation anyway.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "You can't say? Oh, Artie, he can't say. - No, he can't say. - He can't say.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie", "Barbara"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I'm taking the deal at NBC.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I'm not taking the deal with CBS. I apologize, sir. Thank you. Why? I'm taking the deal at NBC.", "c": ["Dana", "Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I didn't even know about the NBC thing. I saw it coming. I hate this business. I'm telling you, I saw it coming. And I'm telling you, I hate this fucking business.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "I saw it coming. - I hate this business. I'm telling you, I saw it coming. And I'm telling you, I hate this fucking business.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Is she with lips or without lips? - I wanted to talk to you about that. One of her lips is thin, and the other one's still fat.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Yeah, I got another fishing trip offer. Bob Saget called. Huge fishing offer. It's multifaceted.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "You're talking to us like we're Martin and Lewis, for God's sakes.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Just wanted to let you know, it's prime time. It would be hours before you'd ever be on television. - So don't feel threatened. - I wasn't threatened.", "c": ["Dana", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Well, it could be late night.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "Well, it could be late night.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Guest Host"}, {"t": "That sign says \"applesauce.\" No, I'm kidding. It says \"applause.\"", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "And now, because he couldn't find the exit door... Larry Sanders!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Mike Tyson was quoted as saying \"I'm in love with myself.\" Sorry, girls. That's it. That's that joke.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "They're using the young Elvis stamp for standard mail and the old Elvis stamp for packages over 300 pounds.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Maybe she just didn't tell him where she put his medication.", "c": ["Jeff Cesario"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Arthur, come back soon. We miss your cigar smoke in the hallway.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Horseshit. Not once in six years did he ever invite me up on the stage. Horseshit.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "\u00bfC\u00f3mo se dice \"horseshit\"?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "my show is being taken over by a guy who looks and sounds like Vanessa Redgrave", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "What's with Phil's fucking nose?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "She isn't. Let's just leave it at that.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Maybe you're too easily rocked.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Does this mean we have to start wearing jumpsuits because I think only Hank has one?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "If there's one thing I'm known for, it's my complete discretion.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "She tried to kill herself with an overdose of Halcion. She's okay. Let's just leave it at that, okay?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "This business will do that to you.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "It was right on Larry's desk, right in a folder under some papers, in a drawer that was locked. Finding the key was a bitch.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, Phil's social maladjustment runs so deep that he is unpredictable and volatile. My guess is that he talks badly about Larry behind his back.", "c": ["Writer reading memo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Larry is just the kind of asshole to read that and believe it.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Now I'm sorry I made copies of this for everybody.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Hank is very sensitive about his age. He's only 34.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Hank is not 34.", "c": ["Other writer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "It's not actually here but it should be.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "I went through this same shit once with Sajak.", "c": ["Set designer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Very funny. Very fuckin' funny.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "I think you can never have enough vegetation. Ask Sting.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, we've been canceled.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Is Artie dead? Go ahead. Go ahead. I can take it.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "That's an insult. I'm not acting dumb. I don't know what memo.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Did Artie die?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Do you believe this shit?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "What do I need, a fuckin' security camera? I covered that on page three of the memo.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Maybe the fucking coffee will become a little bit hotter. From my own experience, fear is a great motivator.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Think I'm attractive and a great dancer, fine. But let's draw the line there.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "it looks like an old Tarzan movie.", "c": ["Artie reading memo"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Horseshit! This isn't about those plants. This is about me. I am those plants, goddamn it.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Phone the agent. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "He fired me from that QE2 Fourth of July special.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Bullshit. You've gotten an earring to make yourself look younger. What have you done to your nipples?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "And the left ear is the gay ear. When you wear it low like that, it means you're catching, not pitching.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Catching, not pitching.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Call me an ambulance.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "It's Demerol, you ass, and tequila. It's a good mix.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "If somebody farts in the Xerox room, I've heard about it.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "I guarantee you there's nothing in there.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Drink it, or I'll knock you to the floor, step on your neck and piss in that good ear.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Never get sick. If there's one cardinal rule in show business, it's 'Never get sick.' It's when you're down, when you show the slightest weakness, that they slip that knife in your back.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "I have to admire that little Iago... Jonathan Littman.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Do you think I skew to an older demographic?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "You want to sit there while Kathie Lee prattles on in your good ear about how Frank hates to change Cody's poopy diapers?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Hello, you worthless piece of shit!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "\"Cousins Will Fuck\" is the first topic.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Yeah, but that knife was wielded by a relative stranger.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "swelling it to such a grotesque size that the skull bursts like a ripe honeydew melon. I saw a case like this in Korea once. It was a horrible, painful way to die. Yeah, the screams still haunt me.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "You just want people that fear... suck up to you!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Hank just threw up in my wastebasket.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "but my enthusiastic and aggressive interest in taking his job and producing this show.", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Okay, we're lying.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Have I ever told you, Jon, I can't stand the way you talk?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Obviously you guys don't know about my Chinese weatherman. It's \"fleezing\"!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.36, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Remember you held my head?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "We're facing east, so it's actually the sun rising.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "I do it because... I love you, you bastard.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "I'm always telling you how funny you are... and how well your clothes fit... and how your ass doesn't look fat in pants.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "Man, you guys sure have a lot of fuckin' plants on this set.", "c": ["Morton"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "The New Producer"}, {"t": "That sign says 'applesauce.' No, I'm kidding. It says 'applause.'", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.66, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Really. That's... You're very desperate.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Princess Di, it was announced in the paper today... has, evidently, rumored, I guess, bulimia. And this is true, I'm going to England. Hank, maybe you can help me on this, 'cause I'm not up on the protocol. I know you're not supposed to eat until they eat. Now, how would it work in this case?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "All I know is always use the small fork first.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Oh, boy.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "'Keep the day job' is the old joke.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Ross Perot has dropped out of the presidential race... proving again that if you have a silent T in your last name... you cannot become president. Paul Tsongas... The silent T does not work. Harry Truman, yes... because his name isn't Harry Ruman.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "We have a wonderful show. Don't judge it by the jokes.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "I would have voted for you, too, if you'd been in a movie.", "c": ["Mimi Rogers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "That's the prerequisite that's stopped me from winning an Academy Award. There's some little, small print that says... you have to be in a movie to get a nomination.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Among other things, I would love to see how you do a nude scene.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "I do them... I can tell you, funny and yet sexy.", "c": ["Mimi Rogers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "I'm an Aquarius. I think that would work. Is that right? Sure. You're a fire sign. I'm an air sign. Air feeds the fire, fans the fire, strokes the fire.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Easy.", "c": ["Mimi Rogers"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "The harder one blows the air into the fire, the more... Flame, yeah. Heat, and... Explosions can result. And before you know it, there's no way to put it out.", "c": ["Larry", "Mimi Rogers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "And my rising sign is kindling, but, please... let's get back to the nude scene.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "I'm a Capricorn.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Butt out.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "I can tell you that that has never stopped him before.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Now, by nude, do you mean neither of us would be wearing clothes?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Because I've been tricked before and ended up being the only one. Usually it results in a call to the police and all hell breaks out.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "That's the first time you've invited anyone back for two nights in a row. And that includes Hank.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "What an asshole.", "c": ["Michael Richards"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Why is he inviting her back? I'm the one who got bumped.", "c": ["Michael Richards"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Jazzercise.", "c": ["Mimi Rogers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "No, but glad to hear the Russian lessons are working out for you.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Try the veal. I don't care that they live in cages. It's out of this world.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "You know, if Hank does well he gets a year's supply of Turtle Wax.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "So, do you fuck her on the desk or on the couch? I'm guessing the desk because Hank is on the couch... and I know you're not into that.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "It'll be George Segal month.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "We've got nothing.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "The heavy one has such a pretty face.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Actually, kindling is my rising sign. So we could build quite a fire there.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "This is like watching the Rodney King tape. Don't make me watch this anymore.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "I have seen the hand on the hand done many times. I, myself, have done it with Gregory Peck. Trust me, I felt nothing.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "All I'm saying is I've played this course before. I know right where it goes. Hand on hand, flirting backstage... and then I'm fuckin' 'em in Hank's Malibu pad.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "You don't want to do that. He's had septic problems with that place.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Tell them I have Dutch elm disease.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Leno will be jealous. I think he's just got that has-been Julia Roberts on.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "I am not gonna ask her about when she lost her virginity... because then I'll have to tell mine, and it always embarrasses my sister.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Always embarrasses my sister, I say. Never mind. I get it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "It seems these two colored fellas were sittin' on the porch... I don't think there's going to be enough time tonight. But this is a very funny joke! It'll make their hair giggle! I'm sure it's great. It doesn't have to be colored. We can make them Polack.", "c": ["Bert Crawley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Oprah's actually a small, white Jewish man. But don't tell anybody.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "You're such a good actress that I thought you were serious for a second.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Are you okay? I have a rotator cuff problem. I threw it out during the monologue.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "You look so much thinner in person.", "c": ["Bert Crawley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "There's these two Jews sitting on the porch. One of them says to the other...", "c": ["Bert Crawley"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "That's your philtrum. I know, 'cause it's very hard to cover up.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Usually you take the keys by the third try.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "That? I'm not gonna see that. You do that all day long anyway.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "You are completely adorable when you can't take a compliment.", "c": ["Mimi Rogers"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "'Camptown Races.' I know that song. Sounds good to me.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "She's singing 'Camptown Races' with a guy who carves soap. She's just being a good guest.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "Michelle Pfeiffer?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "The Flirt Episode"}, {"t": "The worst thing you can do is box a left-hander. Why? They're put on backwards as it is.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "Wouldn't that prepare you properly? That's a great idea. I wasn't born yesterday. I never thought about that.", "c": ["Larry", "George"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "you'll agree with me... I don't think I should cave in, right? No, not at all. Belly-bump or do something.", "c": ["Larry", "George"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "Steam coming out of my ass, Arty.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 4.94, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "At the moment, the latest demand is a golf cart to drive around the studio. Poor deluded bastard.", "c": ["Shel", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "My dog wouldn't eat that shit.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "Do you think that stain on his pants is from the gumbo? I don't think so.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "Kenny Stabler? He played football. Basketball. I didn't have any spare footballs around when he was on the show... so it's the closest kind of ball I could find.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "How do you place a value on a man who introduces Wynnona Judd as 'TheJudd'?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "She was... Jane Russell?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "Fuck it, it's free cake. We can't miss this.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "If someone invented a camera that could take, you know, snapshots of our feelings... I would take a picture of this moment and keep it in the wallet of my heart forever.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "I say he goes right into the cruise director story. Bet you a hundred bucks it's the telephone story.", "c": ["Staff members"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "Every time we have a going-away party for you, it's just too much of a downer.", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "That number you gave me was to some dry cleaner's in Torrance. Yeah, the area code got changed. Bullshit. I am not your whore.", "c": ["Barbara", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "People see you in enough of those lawn furniture spots... they tend to fantasize about you.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "Why do I need this car anyway? I already have a car. 'Cause you deserve it. It's safer, and it's classier.", "c": ["Larry", "Car salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "let Arty and I take care of the strippers... because we can probably find one that doesn't know you.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "She was half theJudds. Now there's just one of them, so she's a... she is a Judd. She is a singleJudd!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "What about the time I chipped my tooth on the bathroom urinal? What the fuck is so comical about that? It was a back tooth, Hank. I don't know how you did it.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "That was the speaker phone. Nice try.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "When you let one go, boy. Hello. That was the speaker phone. Nice try.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "I was eating a sandwich in my office when suddenly I heard you guys.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "I'm tired of being your personal village idiot.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "If men carried the baby, wouldn't it? He'd be like, 'I got things to do. Get it out! Yeah, right, okay. Yeah, okay, I see it. Come on.'", "c": ["Robin Williams"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "It's just too damn easy. He looks like a before from Hair Club. I can't go with you on that. I cannot.", "c": ["Robin Williams", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "my head reminded you of your penis after a cold swim... I was honored.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "He's hung like a field mouse. It's like a little sundial. Honey, what time is it? Get the baby. It's 3:00. Oh, 2:30 now. It's real cold.", "c": ["Robin Williams"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "Don't you know? No, my TV stops at channel 13... the way it's supposed to.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "Hey, you untalented, overpriced sidekick... you're just another piece of meat to us... so why don't you take what we gave you last year and be happy with that... you worthless piece of shit?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "There's no Cavett. You hear me? Zip on Cavett. I'm bluffing.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "It's that golf cart I told you about last week. I smell urine here.", "c": ["Shel", "Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "I don't mean on these stairs. I mean, you know, the network.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "I had to pay for it myself, so don't tell anybody, okay?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "You got a very different way of showing your love, don't you? I've seen men be burned in dark interiors.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "You did have that offer to go on after Nightline, didn't you? Fuck no.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Contract"}, {"t": "Now that sign says 'applesauce.' I'm kidding. It says 'applause.'", "c": ["Warm-up Host"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.21, "im": 3.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "November 4 is the day Jerry Brown may drop out.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Perot dropped out because they wouldn't put a Supercuts in the White House.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Not bad, Jerry, considering everything you wrote is dying.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "The monologue was awful. A piece of shit, but you're hilarious when you're bombing.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Everybody but you, of course. / Shut up.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Three months. We should find out if he has any head writing experience.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Peas in a pod. / Lesbians? / No, just friends.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "One of them can't get through a metal detector. / Which one? / Which one do you think?", "c": ["Artie", "Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Couldn't get a Supersaver?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Is this a new... Is this a new chair? / Yes. / I did not know that.", "c": ["Larry", "Jeannie", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I can't watch it again for the second time. Too much pain.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "This can't possibly be number 7 for 45 seconds. / I know, Larry, but I got distracted for a moment. / By what? / Beverly, I want to know. What could be more important than my burrito?", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly", "Larry", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Beverly, I want to know. What could be more important than my burrito?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Was my mug out there? 'Cause in this day and age, you can't...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Steer clear of the phrase 'Jerry's penis' when I'm biting into this cold burrito.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "You know I'm talking about Jerry, right? He's really fucking up.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "We'll just give you a hot dog and a beer and you can sit there and watch it on a little TV like those guys do at a ball game.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "All I could see was Mr. Heston's rug and a bit of the back of Larry's jacket. / That's a tragedy.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "It's about Jerry and Sally. / Fucking. I know.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Behind your desk. That's new carpeting, that little prick.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "It's taken us eight years to disconnect you the way you always wanted to be.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Do you ever notice that we get caught up in a certain kind of thought process? / What thought process? / Like the one we're involved in now. / We should try and put a stop to it. / Fine. / Stop it we shall do.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie", "Larry", "Larry", "Artie", "Artie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Stop it we shall do.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I heard you're having one of those 'interorifice' relationships with one of the girls in the Sterno pool.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I said, 'This job is a pain in the bass' and I got outta there.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I said, 'This job is a pain in the bass' and I got outta there.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "It's October... and we all know what that means.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "If Princess Di were here... I'd tell her, 'Hang in there.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I'd kill for a Dreamsicle right now.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Maybe it's me, but I think Sharon Gless should be on TV every night.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I sure do miss the Cowsills. That miniskirted mom sure was sexy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I am telling you, nothing beats that missionary position.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I am telling you, nothing beats that missionary position.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "We never edit 'Hank's Thoughts.'", "c": ["Newsletter writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "If he bangs her any harder, the air bags are going to inflate.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "If he bangs her any harder, the air bags are going to inflate.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Suddenly this girl comes around and says I remind her of her teddy bear. What am I supposed to do?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I'm worthless as a writer and as a man. I need help. I'm addicted, and I need a program.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I'm addicted, and I need a program.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "The only reason you're able to write so much is 'cause you never get laid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "The only reason you're able to write so much is 'cause you never get laid.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "It sounds to me like, with Eddie, you get a lot of boyfriends at once. So I would stay with him.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Number three: Put your mother in a nursing home. Don't even give it a second thought.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Number three: Put your mother in a nursing home. Don't even give it a second thought.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Don't ask me back on this fuckin' show again.", "c": ["Peter Falk"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Don't ask me back on this fuckin' show again. / I love this son of a bitch!", "c": ["Peter Falk", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I love this son of a bitch! / You guys are somethin'. / Look at this guy. / You guys are wild.", "c": ["Peter Falk", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Well, it's nothin' I haven't seen before... but not in a room full of 250 people.", "c": ["Peter Falk"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Sally and I are very much in love. We are spontaneous people.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "I've accepted a position on Saturday Night Live as a talent coordinator. / When were you planning on telling me? / I didn't know when to tell you.", "c": ["Sally", "Larry", "Sally"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Besides, this gives me a chance to be with my boyfriend again. / You have a boyfriend? / Yes! He's a writer on the Letterman show.", "c": ["Sally", "Jerry", "Sally"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "That is wrong on so many levels. I don't know where to start.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "She's 53, fit as a fiddle. / I did not know that.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Out of the Loop"}, {"t": "Or does that say 'applesauce'?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "The only way we'll talk is if I'm booked on the show as a guest. Fine. I'll book you. You're on. Except then you can't do Arsenio for the next three to six months", "c": ["Jeannie", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Five, four, three, two... - What does that mean?", "c": ["Stage Manager", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Marilyn Quayle had the only one that said, 'I'm with stupid.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Dr. Ruth is just back from Africa. I'll book her tomorrow night. It's not a sexual problem, Artie.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "I remember when you were making those toaster waffles, you were very happy. Don't tell me that I was happy. I was not happy. I haven't been happy for weeks, including yesterday when I made the toaster waffles, which, by the way, you like.", "c": ["Larry", "Jeannie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Chicago gets my attention 'cause I like that city and it has a very distinctive-sounding name. I did Second City in Chicago, too, so I have fond memories. I did Second City mostly in Toronto, but I also... Chicago reminds me of Toronto.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "I did Second City in Chicago, too, so I have fond memories. I did Second City mostly in Toronto, but I also...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "They get you for 8 minutes, and I get you for 90 seconds. That's pretty much the problem in a nutshell.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Isn't this a good crowd? - A beautiful crowd. - Isn't this a good crowd? - A beautiful crowd.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "No, my show is your footrest. Think of it that way.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "We basically want to kill him, I think.", "c": ["Catherine O'Hara"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you said it twice there.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "If they cross two or more time zones, that's a rule of thumb. Probably gone for good.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "The last time you met him for the first time was at Chevy Chase's party.", "c": ["Catherine O'Hara"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Do you get along with him? - Bo? - No, Chevy. - No. - Neither do I.", "c": ["Larry", "Catherine O'Hara"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "I'm fucked.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "The show is a torturous, miserable hell.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "There's no need to protect him. This month is normal.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Sure, he ignores you, but nothing in life is free.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "One time they were doing it, he slipped up and called her 'Emmy.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "He's the star of the show, Paula. - No duh, Beverly.", "c": ["Beverly", "Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "They're just women. They're projecting their own neuroses on you. They're all sick. You don't think they wish they were you?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Six weeks is her longest relationship except when she went on tour with Oingo Boingo. I think that was eight weeks.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Six weeks is her longest relationship... except when she went on tour with Oingo Boingo. I think that was eight weeks.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Do you know that I sleep all day? For the last two weeks all day, every day I'm asleep.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "You should try to think of a performer as a small, helpless child. No, Artie. I have sex with him.", "c": ["Artie", "Jeannie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "This is for the life story of Pavarotti. I'm playing him... No, I play him as an infant. And what did he weigh back then, would you suppose? He was about 185.", "c": ["Billy Crystal", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "And what did he weigh back then, would you suppose? - He was about 185.", "c": ["Larry", "Billy"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "How's Jack Palance? Last time I saw him, he was swimming the Atlantic, I think.", "c": ["Larry", "Billy Crystal"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "You're asking all of this old stuff. 'You look marvelous'? Did I ask you to do the 'you look marvelous'? Jack Palance? That was last year.", "c": ["Billy Crystal"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "You can't let your personal life bleed into the show. I have a lot on my mind, but I'm trying to do my job.", "c": ["Billy Crystal"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Don't tell me this story again. I'm so tired of hearing this story. I beg of you, don't put me through this again.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "This is like the Hindenburg. When will you start shouting, 'Oh, the humanity'?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Maybe. That's up to you. But all I can tell you is that we've got half the anniversary show right here!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "It's sweeps. We have Schwarzenegger, Roseanne without the husband. We also have Julia Roberts. We have Cher, Aerosmith, the US Olympic basketball stars.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "You wouldn't catch black folks doing this. The man takes charge. And the woman gets what she wants without making a fuss.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "It's sort of like a Raging Jew.", "c": ["Billy Crystal"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "It's very much his relationship... four, five, six... with his brother.", "c": ["Billy Crystal"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "We lost the clip.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Hi, Mom. How's Chicago?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Well, honey, next week is sweeps week. I don't want to bump any big guests. Wait a minute. Kim Basinger. Good-bye. Hello, Jeannie Sanders. Tuesday night.", "c": ["Jeannie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Kim Basinger. Good-bye. Hello, Jeannie Sanders. Tuesday night.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Kim Basinger can do maintenance that day.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Delightful! This is the best show we've ever done!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "This is the best show we've ever done!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "The Talk Show Episode"}, {"t": "Okay, ready? Now, first, you take off your clothes.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Or does that say 'applesauce'?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.36, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "This tie? You like it? Doesn't make my butt look fat, does it?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "I'm going, 'Oh, jeez. Well, at least he's off the island.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "The joke doesn't work unless he ends with the words 'adjustable beds.'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Toilet monitor is busted, boys.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "She's halfway to her ideal weight, whatever that's supposed to mean.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "You've never been to the house before? Not that I recall. I have no mental picture.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Your House? What is that, a new Chinese place?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Be there or be square. I can do both.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "That's one person every two hours, half a person every hour.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "They're half salt, half vodka. Swear to God, the olive floats at the top.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Has anyone ever been to Larry's house for dinner? Not that I know of. That's weird. There must be a reason.", "c": ["Unknown women"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "She's getting a promotion. Damn it!", "c": ["Friend"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "These are vitamins.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Hey now! Well, I accept. I am... I'm very honored... and I would never miss a Larry Sanders event.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "You tell her it's a big Larry Sanders shindig... a real time-of-your-life blowout. You tell her everybody's gonna be there.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "I wasn't invited. Hey. Hank'll make it right.", "c": ["Darlene", "Hank"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "As the talent booker, I work hands-on with the people. That's like a segment producer. To be blunt, she's like a glorified secretary.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Oh, shit. That fuckin' dinner. For once I try and join my personal life with my work life.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "I'm gonna bring my tarot cards tonight and do your wife.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "But just the tarot reading will be fine.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Oh, Larry! What should I bring tonight? Ice? Chips? Salt!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Phil, you know, I've got this... Ulcer? Party.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "You're putting everything we own into a box. Just a couple of things, like Aquarium Digest.", "c": ["Jeannie", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Then they'll decide we're not as happy as Burt Reynolds and Loni.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "You do drink. I do not drink.", "c": ["Larry", "Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Ooh, you're not my beautiful wife. Hey, hey, welcome. No dates?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "It is! You cry every time at the end... when he finishes with his mission on Earth and has to go back to heaven.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Just because Cheers was a hit, every asshole thinks he can mix a drink.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "No, Larry paid for it. Cost him a few thousand dollars too. A few thousand dollars? That's right. It's not that funny.", "c": ["Multiple guests"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "I wrote some party jokes for you to use throughout the night.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "I said no, so we ended up dry-humping on the couch all week. He's an animal.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Then, of course, that night he wanted to have sex. I said no, so we ended up dry-humping on the couch all week.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Hey, would you mind using the bathroom downstairs?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Just saw more than one car, so I got to thinking... 'That's not right.'", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Didn't scrimp on anything, did ya?", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Instead of saying, 'Hey now!'... you'd say, 'Come here!'", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "That is what you can use if the show goes off the air.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "You were spying on me?", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "It's a toga. Must be a white thing.", "c": ["Unknown guests"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Drink it, you pussy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "The thing is, see, our coats? Yeah? They're in the bedroom... and, well, the bedroom door is locked.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "I never put my keys in the bedroom, in case someone gets in a sleepy mood.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Five marriages.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Now I'm going downstairs and I'm gonna take care of that... sack of human shit with a camera.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "One of those little Lady Di smiles.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "I'll bet Letterman fights with that woman who claims to be his wife.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Great party. Great. It was great.", "c": ["Larry", "Staff"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Great party. Great. It was great.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Party"}, {"t": "Now, that sign says \"applesauce.\" No, no, I'm kidding. It says \"applause.\"", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 4.22, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "If I seem a little confused, I'm just in a lot of turmoil. I just feel so stupid. I don't know if I should be pulling... for Bosnia or Herzegovina.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "So, Bill Clinton intends to actually stop the fighting in Bosnia. At least, that's what he was overheard saying to some chick in a bar.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "The surgeon general announced today it is now official. You're not fully clean unless your \"Zestfully\" clean.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.17, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I told you. I told you that joke would not work, didn't I, Hank?", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Well, it's very funny to me.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "The surgeon general announced it is now official. You're not clean... Maybe I didn't say it exactly right. You're not fully clean unless your \"Zestfully\" clean.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "It gets funnier every time I hear it. See, you can't go for the masses. No, I'll just go... Just announcers around the country are laughing.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "it's 11:40 on Thursday... and that can mean only one thing... it's time for a \"Hank Weight Update.\"", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "One hundred ninety-eight and a half.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "This picture was taken an hour ago in the commissary.", "c": ["Richard Simmons"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I have not mentioned the fact that he's bald.", "c": ["Richard Simmons"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I don't like when you scold me.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I think Richard Simmons is very funny, but what's he always jumping around for? He's got the energy of a squirrel. I don't think that's healthy, is it?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I think it's all a front. I think we're gonna catch him... going through a Dumpster at Winchell's one night, and it'll all be over. Right there on the Enquirer, him eating a few doughnuts from the trash.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Every 30 days, they take their thumb out of their ass, scribble down numbers.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "It's not the size of the number. It's the motion of the ocean.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Oh, for God's sakes, Artie. I wish you were a woman. I'd feel a little better when you say that.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Look, he's below Mengele.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Is there something we can do about my likability?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Yeah. That's why I have someone walk me to my car at night.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "In your own way.", "c": ["Jeannie Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "You're a funny person, and all funny people have a certain amount of rage.", "c": ["Jeannie Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "People watch your show because you're partly an asshole.", "c": ["Jeannie Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "For God's sakes. It's my fucking living room too, honey. There you go.", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Jeannie Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I don't mean to sound like a jerk. I'm Larry Sanders.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "What the fuck are you doing, man? That's Mr. Sanders!", "c": ["Don"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "One time, Joan Embery brought something on I was attracted to. Bad policy to date a guest... especially when they have to be back at the zoo at 6:30.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Well, how about if I sit in this chair... and you take pictures of me?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "They fired the guard who wouldn't let you in this morning.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "You've gotta stop letting that man pluck your nerves the way you do. Maybe you're right. \"Pluck your nerves.\" Is that a black thing?", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "You're such an idiot. But the homosexual community likes me.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Pass. Let's call a brief moratorium... on all world's youngest, world's oldest pitches.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Look at this! We have the world's best skier under the age of four. Very funny. Pass.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "If 20 random people decided... that you'd look better with a crew cut, would you get one? Yes.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Is this an affiliate problem? I would be more than happy... to fly out to Bumfuck, Arkansas or wherever... and give them the old dog and pony show.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I'm with Widenfield-Johnson. They are the best. They handle everything... appearances, endorsements, charities. I didn't know you did charity work. Oh, yes. Really? I give of myself. Good for you. The pay's great.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "They got me, you know, TB this year. Tuberculosis? Yes, sir. The lung disease.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Contagious?", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Contagious?", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Why isn't he that funny on the show?", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I just really appreciate... all the hard work that you do. Maybe Thursday or something, we'll all get together and...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "The harder they cry, the funnier you are.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "\"Tastes great on steak\"? What kind of a shit line is that?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Some friends yesterday insisted that I join them at a smorgasbord. Really? I just had salad. Was it an all-you-can-eat buffet? Yes, it was. Really?", "c": ["Hank Kingsley", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I like that guy who goes, \"Hey now.\" Yeah, he's funny when he goes, \"Hey now.\" \"Hey now.\"", "c": ["Focus group members"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "There isn't one person in here I haven't seen on America's Most Wanted. I'm telling you, we should be making a phone call right now.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "He does have really big nostrils... and they're kind of uneven, but I like that.", "c": ["Focus group member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I like Larry because he's from Minneapolis, and I'm from Minneapolis. \"Hey now.\" I didn't know he was Canadian.", "c": ["Focus group members"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Now I know why Baywatch is in the top ten.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Twenty people could say they liked me, and I'm telling you... I would still be thinking 17 of them are lying... two of them probably have severe emotional problems... and one of them's probably confusing me with Larry King.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "The sooner you start liking yourself... you won't care what other people think. Great. Then I'm totally fucked.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Thanks. You must be from Minneapolis. No, I'm not. Why? Oh, just a bad guess.", "c": ["Steve Himmel", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Hey, what are you laughing at? Oh, nothing. Are you guys making fun of me? Oh, no, no. Fuck you! Show biz assholes!", "c": ["Steve Himmel", "Larry Sanders", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "I guess my favorite parts were Martin Mull... the opening monologue, the celebrity products and Hank. Hey now!", "c": ["Focus group member"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Warmth Episode"}, {"t": "Now that sign says \"applesauce.\" No, I'm kidding. It says \"applause.\"", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "And now, because I am daffy about this guy and I don't care who knows it...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Before I go on with the monologue, I have to ask Hank... what is \"daffy\"? You said you're \"daffy about the guy,\" which scares me. What exactly does \"daffy\" mean?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "cuckoo about the guy. You should get some help.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I'm getting some immediately after the show. Hope the bars are open.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Larry Bird retired because he said he realized he was white.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Not since Neil Bush appeared on television in America's Most Wanted... has a president's son been on television.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "he says that he's going to \"come out swinging.\" Isn't that what got Clinton into trouble?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "- Chicks seem to dig his sound. - \"Chicks seem to dig his sound\"?", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Artie, I don't wanna keep you. I know you have Twiggy waiting at your pad.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Does this hat make my ass look fat, by the way?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Horse-hocky. Everybody looks good in a cowboy hat.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "that obnoxious turd who does that \"Hey, Vern\" character. - Oh, that's Ernest. - He's funny.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Right. Right. Phone call for me. Better get that.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I thought we agreed that the fishing pole was an outdoor toy.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "You are such a girl, and besides, the shag bass are biting, honey. - What? - The shag bass.", "c": ["Larry", "Jeannie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "- Put it back. - Put it back? - Throw it back into the carpet?", "c": ["Jeannie", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "You know, he looks thin when you see him on his show... but in real life, he has kind of a gut.", "c": ["Carol Biederman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I had one of those headaches where I get tunnel vision.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Artichoke hearts? Ever try 'em in a salad? - They really add zing. - Don't they?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Except, instead of a house, it was a supermarket. Instead of Letterman, it was you. Instead of breaking in, she got pushed. Instead of New York, LA. - Instead of a redhead...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "The media should have something better to do than focus on me. That's why I refuse to watch the local news. \"Two kittens fell in a well.\" - Who gives a shit?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "- Approximately. - Approximately not many.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Would you call beating a man half to death... because he ran out of nondairy creamer abusive? Of course, after you beat a man like that, you know what the next step is. Larry had to make him his bitch.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I fished a dead bird out of her spa on the Fourth of July. - She owed me a favor.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "How would you like to be the guy who watches this all day long? Ten bucks says it's a cable channel by the end of the year.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "This isn't a fuckin' lending library, lady.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I heard a crash... but, you know, a supermarket in LA, I figured it was looting.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Take it easy. Let that Excedrin work for you.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "This is a publicity bonanza. - Gentlemen, I'm wetting myself.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "So what are you saying? That after the monologue, I should scratch my balls and spit?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "You may have a problem there... that's just completely unrelated to the world of publicity.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "and I'm wetting myself again.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Oh, great. So now everyone in Iraq knows I'm an asshole.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Yeah, but don't worry. The chairs are Scotchgarded.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "this is the sort of thing that might have kept Dennis Miller on the air... for another week or two.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I don't know much about this Sanders guy... but, you know, I don't think Arsenio would do something like this.", "c": ["Tommy Oh"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "but a whole lot of pushing and shoving.", "c": ["News reporter"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "What's it like not being a celebrity? I mean, you must do a lot of shitty things in your personal life. I bet you bumped into someone in a supermarket.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "See, I can't do that. I can't be an asshole. That must be real hard for you, Larry.", "c": ["Larry", "Writer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "You think she would have sold those tapes to Entertainment Tonight... if I wasn't Larry Sanders?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I'll have... Just get me none. Because I'm so wired... I've had so many, I can barely lie still.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Not buy. Not buy. Forget the food. All we need are the wrappers. Why don't I just go outside and climb into the Dumpster?", "c": ["Hank", "Darlene"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I would never ask you to do that. I'm mean... Hey. You've got your dignity, babe. Remember that.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I'm vivisecting a choirboy. Why don't you call John Tesh?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "It's me in an apartment alone with a kitty. Bad-luck kitty. The kitty keeps gettin' into trouble. It's a bad-luck kitty, right?", "c": ["Tony Danza"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "So let's put these Chicken In A Minute wrappers... from the food that we enjoyed earlier... in the trash, right where it belongs.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Fuck off, Hank.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I'm gonna tell everyone out here the nickname you have for your penis.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "The only way you're gonna get better ratings is if you marry Hank on the air. - God, you're a sick fuck.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "you are twice as attractive in person... as you are on that security camera. It does not do you justice.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "I think you saw me, and I also think that you know what you did. Everybody saw it.", "c": ["Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "And patented, self-regulating Frostbuster technology. It's the future of your kitchen today, and it's only from Antarctic.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "That's Cindy Remington, a junior at USC majoring in telecommunications... and I believe she loves horses.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "Please accept it before he describes the ribbon.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness"}, {"t": "\"Wow\" backwards is \"wow.\" Did you know that?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "\"Wow\" upside-down is \"Mom,\" and Mom upside-down is Dad's favorite thing", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "We went to Egypt with my in-laws who are a lot of fun... if you like being in a vault with them", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I don't know what that means, but thank you for laughing", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "But nobody ever goes there because it Sphinx back there", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.28, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "All the women look like Jamie Farr", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.38, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I'm a big Jamie Farr fan and I love women... so the combination just turned me on major", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Major... that's from MASH too", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.58, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "There's a guy under your stall reaching in", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I realized you're better off just using the currency... getting a wad of bills and hoping you don't get chaffed", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Indeed I am", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I believe Hank was just then in the Middle East", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "The Earth just came out of me", "c": ["Dr. Marvin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "When you get close to him, but then when he's Farr, forget it", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I didn't even need to be there for the fuckin' Saget interview", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "All I said was 'Hi, Bob. Bye, Bob.' I could've been working at a Jack In The Box", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Yeah, love the one where the man gets hit in the nuts with the Wiffle Ball", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Geography quiz. But I'm working on a new guest now. Who's Leno got? Macauley Culkin. Why, you... I'm just kidding you.", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Donna Mills? Even Kiss is working without makeup, Artie", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Beerskis. Survey says 'no.' Really", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Hey now", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "That was a fluke", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "That was a fluke. The guy cares less about the show every night.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Of course. He's a fucking moron. What do you expect?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "What, Gallagher out of fruit?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I would've tucked him in, but there's a network TV show going on", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Sorry. It's offensive to serial killers, isn't it?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Which is half our audience. And the other half are victims", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Especially if she talks about the beatings she took from her father", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Maybe it looks better when it's lit. That would be my guess", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Yes, or some similar piece of shit. I don't know what", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "To people or to dogs?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Paula says his animals are like children to him, which I find very sad", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Hey now", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Hey now", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I'd like to fuck her", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "You don't play for the Kings. Do you ever turn down anything?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Well, that's the biggest one in the country. No, that's the national one.", "c": ["Hank", "Darlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Hey now", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I never put them together till later in life. So in that sense, it's part of my personality", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "You do this, that isn't the same affectation? That isn't the same as my 'hey now'?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Uh, hey now, that was real funny", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Hey now!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "By interplay, you mean the times we're both awake?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Now, LaToya, she could circle. There's a gal that could be circling for years", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "When I met him, he was just a cruise director.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "After the show, talk to him. It's not as if you have a million friends", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I would settle for Tito at this point. I just want you to know that", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I've seen terrorists do it", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I thought I just heard you say, 'my half.' Is that what you just said? My half of the show, Hank?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "You look a little like Kitty in Gunsmoke", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Why don't you shove it up your ass? Or do you already do that commercial?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Fine, if you want your face and hands to clash.", "c": ["Makeup person"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Hey now!", "c": ["Audience"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Janet Jackson is out, T. Bone Burnett is in. You were right. She was circling. She got diverted to Reno.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "and me... hey now... Hank Kingsley", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "What do you mean, there's no helicopters? For God's sakes, tell 'em he's a burn victim.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "If he were a kidney, he'd been here an hour ago", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "If I had a gun, I'd put it in my mouth, turn and take us both out", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "He's written a wonderful book called My Dog, Myself. Teaching us how to train a dog in five days... and we are up to approximately day four.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Hank has had a dog. Okay. Well, I thought you might've, in fact, had a dog", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Philipe Xavier Kingsley", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "He can never stop... licking himself.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I believe that's learned behavior. When you stop, the dog will stop", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I think that is... It's that old 'monkey see, monkey do.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I would just cut out the middleman there and lick him", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Oh, boy. I couldn't... I would just cut out the middleman there and lick him.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "\"Sometimes\" is the key phrase", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Yeah. Cutting into Hank's action, in effect", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "And I'm thinking, maybe I ought to get a dog costume", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "If you call our office at Actors and Others for Animals... we can get you neutered for a very low cost", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "We do not have the cover... but this is what it looks like once you open it. This is what you play. Really, what good does the cover do you?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "Really, what good does the cover do you? His new album is called The Criminal Under My Own Hat", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "You saved my ass. And I did it without saying 'hey now.'", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "And I did it without saying 'hey now.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "You could go with me on those other jobs. They would love to have you there.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "That's okay. I've turned into a moron", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "I've turned into an asshole last couple of years. That's okay. I've turned into a moron.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "The 'Hey Now' Episode"}, {"t": "That sign says 'Applesauce.' No, no, no. I'm kidding. It says 'applause.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "and now, because it's a condition of his probation, Larry Sanders!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "He said for a million dollars, he'd let Robert Redford sleep with Hillary.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "If Robert Redford has to pay a million dollars to get laid... Do I need to finish this thought? Imagine what Hank must have to pay.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "I am not watching my show right now. I'm watching Bonanza. That is not Hank. That is Hoss.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Why do you put her through? Larry, you called her. Oh, that's right.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Do I have trouble prioritizing emotional commitments? Oh, please, don't ask me. I haven't had a healthy relationship since junior high.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Well, let's stick to me today.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Jesus! Are you laying in your own puke?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Who are they? It's a mystery. They don't need to be a mystery to me, Artie. I'm the host.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "I'll tell you who got nominated. Letterman, Saturday Night Live, and I'll bet you Billy Crystal hosting the Academy Awards. Am I right? What's the other one? A Jackie Mason Hanukkah, Artie?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Walk it off? Cancel. Move on. Why don't I just put ice on it? It's a marriage, for god's sakes!", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "They're out there. You don't need to check. Artie was selling them like there's no tomorrow. They must be there, or he wouldn't be in here saying there's hot towels. They must be out there very close by. There's hot towels out there. I could tell.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "I thought you were talking about the Emmy nominations. Oh, screw her! She was always trying to drive a wedge between Larry and me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "We'd hit the bar at the Bel Air hotel, work a little skirt.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Jerry van dyke. Fuck him.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "This towel isn't even hot!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Phoenix? They're dropping you for Chevy Chase. You're kidding. Hard to believe, isn't it?", "c": ["Melanie", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "They're great. Open-toed. Mine are closed-toed-- I like all your shoes.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Until we get this show on track, I have no dick. No dick? Check.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Jesus, he's dipping into the toilet. I agree. Why didn't we get the Buttafuocos on? They turned us down. Good. They're not right for the show anyway. I agree. Fucking Koppel blurs the line. My god, no, it's not right.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Who can afford a hair weave or a transplant? And for that matter, who knows a baboon who wants to give you his hair?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "If it's Hank, why isn't Hank here? Hank has one line, and it's his name. You think he can do that without a rehearsal?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Isn't 'cap in a can' funnier? Cap in a can. Ha! You're right! That's funnier. Cap in a can!", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "This doesn't look like it comes from a can. I understand how this part could come from a can, but how would the brim know to come out of the can before the rest of the hat?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "I'm pissing in my pants, conceptual flaw and all!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "I'm sure that the writers can cook up something funny about your marital disorders.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "He's been working on them since 1989.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "No, no. Lee Marvin lost everything but the dog.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "It should with that hippie in the white house.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "What kind of bit? Two guys with patches on. Take it off.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Uh, she's almost housebroken.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "It says, 'Have fun in Vegas.' I'm not going to Vegas. Yes, you are.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "I've seen men try to lose themselves in their work like this before-- Redd Foxx and Dick Shawn and Regis Philbin. Capisce?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "But the best cure for stress is... Blow jobs. Bingo.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "What a little kiss-ass.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Bob Stevens. Who's Bob Stevens? Bob Stevens is an ordinary, everyday guy.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Well... This is really going to sell.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Bob, I guess you're pretty sold on this product. Aren't you, Bob? Bob? Hank? Yeah.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "You can't buy those kind of fuck-ups, Larry.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Let's book Boy George. His smack problems are behind him.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "You ever feel like somebody grabbed you, when they weren't there? No. That was weird.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "That's a heart attack.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "I first met Larry in the spring of 1985. My cruise liner was moored off the coast of portugal. Amen.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Hank? Ge the fuck off the bed.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "You're 42. Don't push so hard.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "This heart attack is a warning. It was a heart episode. You know what I mean.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "And she took the dog.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Before you know it, your head turns sideways, you're coughing. I'm just gonna go fuck myself.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Stress kills, you know? And-- and we all know, the best relief in the world for stress is-- Don't say it, Hank. Blowjobs.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Is that anything like a designing women episode? Yes, in that they both make you sick? Yes, and involve fatty build-up.", "c": ["Writer", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Most people are mad at me.", "c": ["Helen Hunt"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "Wow, if your back end gets too big, you gotta get a Stairmaster.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "This is 8 ball in the corner pocket. This is game over. All we need are our cue sticks, it sounds like to me. Hey, now. You bring the chalk.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "The Breakdown (1)"}, {"t": "You know, I've been known to have wild palms myself. [Hank] Hey, now. Don't worry, they're not hairy.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't want to talk about that. Everybody talks about show business in this town. Bores me to death.", "c": ["Dana Delany"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "You know, I really Should get going. Aren't you gonna Finish your dessert? No. Um, I gotta Get up early tomorrow.", "c": ["Dana", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Well, do you want to go back to my house to watch ourselves on the show?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "I heard you had a stroke or something. No, I did not. I'm excellent.", "c": ["Dana Delany", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "No, no. I had a minor heart episode... Oh, my god. You seem so young to have that problem. No, it is very common among talk show hosts. Regis Philbin had angioplasty recently.", "c": ["Larry", "Dana Delany"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "No, it is very common Among talk show hosts. Regis philbin had Angioplasty recently.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Which one is it, really?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "There's a very fine line between being a booker and a pimp.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "This show is the most highly advanced video dating service in the world.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Jeannie pulled up lame, and that crazy filly Francine should have been shot in the infield.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "I will ruin my life on my own, thank you.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "I mean, she's A pain in the ass. Isn't she? Yeah. Actresses. I mean, they're all Pains in the ass, You know. Aren't they?", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "And bree has actually had some community college.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Wow. Is that the Hollywood Gap or the Santa Monica Gap?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Well, actually, it's not a club, it's a hotel. But we could have a night there.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "I've decided to ruin My life on my own. But will you just Think about it? I better ruin it On my own.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Really? Yes. You can go, 'Grandpa, isn't it cold outside?' And he nods, even though it's 105 degrees.", "c": ["Teri Garr"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "And the joke is on grandpa. Right. Same with the dog.", "c": ["Teri Garr", "Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "And, we-- I should never have a xanax and wine-- Oh, gosh, me neither.", "c": ["Paula", "Beverly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Like Larry would date a sister? I don't think so.", "c": ["Beverly", "Darlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "[Whispers] Never mind. Oh, god. It's me.", "c": ["Darlene", "Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "You better grow up, you son of a bitch. This is America. You don't get caught. You don't ever plead guilty.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "So how do you spell Katya? K-a-t-y-a. Right? Hmm? Well, actually i-a. [Larry] So it's actually Pronounced katia? No, I think It would be kat-yia.", "c": ["Larry", "Bree"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, isn't that Susan Anton? ... No, that's exactly her look. Susan.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Actually, uh, no. We're in the middle of something right now, sue. Oh, oh, sure. Pull up a chair. Uh, there's no extra chairs.", "c": ["Larry", "Susan Anton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Believe me, This is something You do not want to Get into right now. Could I ask you something? What? Um, I like the blonde.", "c": ["Producer", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Is it your dream to, uh, some day have your own retail? Store?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "You have-- You have the most-- Can I-- do you mind? I know it's embarrassing but that's the most incredible blonde hair.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Actually, when I was a teenager, my hair was very-- it was very close to that color. Mmm. I think I need some air.", "c": ["Larry", "Katia"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Are you having A good time? Yeah. I mean, I know that You're used to going out With big movie stars And stuff. Those women have A lot of problems. They're bad news.", "c": ["Larry", "Bree"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Sometimes when business is really slow, he walks around the store wearing the biggest pair of pants that we've got. I mean, like a man's size 62. It is so fucking funny.", "c": ["Bree"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Who's that? It's a woman. Yecch.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "My place in malibu, Just you and me-- No chiquitas, A few glasses of port, Some fine cubanos, Maybe, I don't know, A couple of porno tapes.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "How about a ball game? You wanna do that? Hey, I'm there! Good. Ok, ok, good. Uh, baseball? Yeah. You, me, Artie.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "You are hardly a disappointment.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "I don't think she's quite got the hang of this. Let's go over this again. You see, it's for when you cannot see me.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "This is my first wife Francine. You probably Don't recall 'Cause it's been Quite a while. Hi, Hank. I'm sorry, Francine. You didn't Recognize me, That's ok.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "We only had you Over to the house That one time. But again, That blancat duveaux Was extraordinary.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "You only let me invite each of your friends over one time. Really? Oh, I must have been really an asshole. No, not really. Who wants to have those friends over more than once anyway?", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "No, not really. Who wants to have Those friends over More than once Anyway? Right, right.", "c": ["Francine", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Red alert, Artie. Why? Larry is talking to Francine. Oh, Jesus! I'll call you back. Who let the crazy bitch in here? She's gonna fuck him up for weeks.", "c": ["Beverly", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "And now I'm just gonna-- I built all these bookshelves, I'm gonna have to put books on 'em. Which fools nobody. Don't I know. Now people just come over, they see all the books, they think no emmys. No way.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Aw, I'm sorry. Those are such Nice statues. Aren't they? You know? And now I'm just gonna-- I built all these Bookshelves, I'm gonna have to put Books on 'em. Which fools nobody.", "c": ["Francine", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Now people just come over, They see all the books, They think no emmys. No way. Right.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "There's a caricature of you over there on the wall. Oh, that's Barbra Streisand. Hmm. That looks exactly like you.", "c": ["Francine", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "You see Nick Nolte over there? Look, he looks like Rose Marie. Oh, look. I thought that was Gene Autry. Huh? No. That's Nick Nolte.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "He hates me. Then why are you waving at him? Because he's waving at me.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "You just gave Mike Ovitz the finger. What is wrong with you? He didn't even see it. He saw you. He doesn't need to see it. He can feel it. He's an agent.", "c": ["Francine", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "I can't stop waving. Help me stop. Do something. Just-- [sighs] You just gave Mike ovitz the finger.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "He doesn't need To see it. He can feel it. He's an agent. You know how many times He gets flipped off Behind his back In a given week? He's sitting there Right now going, 'Wow, someone just Flipped me off.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, that-- that thing's happening again, where your suit disappears into the curtain. Looks like a big floating head. That doesn't really bother me anymore anyway.", "c": ["Francine", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "What if I told you I have a gun? You have a gun? Yes, I do. Jesus, You've changed. I know.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, no. Look. [TV off] There. Sweet gesture? I don't turn my show off for anybody.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "Larry, it's Artie. I know you went to dinner with Francine, but, Jesus, god, lad, I'm warning you, don't have sex with her. Larry?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Breakdown (2)"}, {"t": "They will be changing their slogan from 'The marines are looking for a few good men' to... 'I think sarge likes me.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Will they take the M.A.S.H episodes and edit out Klinger?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "The schools have switched to the more formal, prettier, carnation-covered metal detectors.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Do not flip around. No flipping.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I slept with Francine last night.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "It was the entire weekend.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "That woman smashed your People's Choice Award. Why take it out on the award? The fucking people gave you that award.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Big mistake. Big, big mistake.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "He's gayer than a French horn.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I had sex with him. Will that be a problem for you?", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Ask if the Saab's clutch is still sticking.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "When you eat at Hank's, you and your food... are going... on an adventure.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "So I'd like you to take your opinion and shove it right up your ass. Regards, Hank Kingsley. Fax that back to him.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Get Chuck Woolery on the phone.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "These Baldwin boys seem to be multiplying like fucking jackrabbits.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "What's he play with? With his ass, I suppose.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Remember what happened with all those Carradines?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I saw them together at a rolling disco party a few years ago.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "You see his face slobbering in her ear. You see legs all entangled. You hear the grunts.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "No. Paula looks like a jerk.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "A little chocolate never hurt anybody.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I thought he used something else.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "She worked at Knott's Berry Farm for a short time.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "We had some really, really wild times together. Of course, that was back in crazier days.", "c": ["Alec"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "She's a little flaky. I see why you'd want out.", "c": ["Alec"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "The phrase 'Be my guest' comes to mind.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Hey, call me Lar.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "The people around The country are going, 'He's staying.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Alec dated my ex-wife Francine.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I was referring to our charity work with multiple sclerosis. I know. I know. That, too.", "c": ["Alec", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "From the time he walked out all I saw was him fucking her. And she was on top. That lazy bastard.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Those guys don't know jack shit.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I dated Francine also.", "c": ["Ed Begley Jr."], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I met her at one of my roller-skating parties.", "c": ["Ed Begley Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "The sign on the wall said 'all skate.' It means anybody can do whatever they want.", "c": ["Ed Begley Jr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "So you did it on wheels?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Has anybody else been with my ex-wife?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "How about the guy who plays the piano with his ass?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "It was like a theme show. Who's the third? Me. That would be me. I would be the third.", "c": ["Francine", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I didn't sleep with Ed Begley or the man who plays the piano with his ass!", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Legitimate acts Of penetration... Oral sex... And I think Heavy petting, don't you?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "If you keep narrowing it down like this, I'm not going to have any names on my list.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "You could throw your wrist out.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Making my Christmas card list.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "That's a big mistake.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "You mean Rebecca Arthur. Why? Yeah.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "'Adrienne Barbeau'! Why, you no-good, star-screwing bastard! Get the hell out of here!", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "There must be 85 to 100 names.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "You're making a mistake. A big, big mistake.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I can't believe it took six years for you to find out!", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I've been really busy.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Does the restaurant have a big crank outside? That's kind of inconvenient, you rush outside every time you want the floor to turn?", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Which, by the way, is not a piece-of-shit Saab, I might say.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Which, by the way, Is not a piece-of-shit saab, I might say.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "I've never considered it a charity, but I used to do your ex-wife.", "c": ["Daniel Baldwin"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "The List"}, {"t": "Hank, you hang out with ed. Yes. [Laughter]", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "He is on crack. [Laughter] But, um... Kids... Just say no.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "without any renovation, it's being turned into a tgi friday's.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "the wet t-shirt contest will still be on tuesdays.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "No more jokes, Larry.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "he named it-- this is absolutely true. he named it Madonna.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.72, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "[Screams] It's me. God, you scared the shit out of me.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "It was one of those fucking tour buses. Maybe someone jumped off and ran onto the roof.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "When my sister was in town, she wanted to see where tony danza lives. Nice vacation.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "Your sister's not in town, is she?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "No more than usual. Wait a minute. What's the usual?", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "John lennon, Sharon tate-- These incidences could have been prevented by adequate security", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "Alec Baldwin won, didn't he?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "I even stay in your favorite room. 714-- the one with the bathtub? Yeah. And the shower?", "c": ["Look-alike", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "Good job. Good job to you. Good job, Larry. Good job yourself. Good job.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "You guys look like the two-captain-kirk episode from 'star trek.' Right, 'incident on rigel 7.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "'Don't endanger the ship, spock. Kill us both.' You're a gifted man.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "You know, maybe one night I could do it on the ship. Not this--", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "He's sniffing my jacket, Artie. Just to see what cologne Larry wears.", "c": ["Hank", "Look-alike"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "The guy looked like linda hunt.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "What I'd do if I was stalking somebody-- see where they live, then come back later to kill them.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "He stopped wearing a toupee because he realized in prison you don't need hair to be attractive.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "I only have time to humor one neurotic obsession. Are we choosing this one? Next time, one of mine?", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "Yeah, or having living with one or having sex with one or a relationship or whatever we're doing here.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "Oh, it's o.K. It's tom Hanks. He always jogs at this time. Tom!", "c": ["Francine", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "What would it cost to have the bunker saddam hussein has? He means that secure.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "I just can't believe I spent the money to move the bathroom. That was a wise decision, kiddo. Who wants to walk that far in the middle of the night to take a shit?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "Has he ever asked about my configuration? Larry, would you like a brownie?", "c": ["Larry", "Darlene"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "No. A fan sent them in for you and Hank. Why didn't you say something? Who knows what could be in these?", "c": ["Darlene", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "You want me to hire a taster? No. We don't need to hire a taster. Just have that weird intern do it.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "A few minutes. I waited for the right time. Yeah, good choice.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "A fucking puppet show? What are you do-- Say hello to peace of mind.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "This is the original handgun fired by jack lord on hawaii five-o. He gave it to me on my birthday. You must be a big fan. No. I've never seen it, but don't tell jack.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "Me, neither. Apparently, you just point and squeeze. That's what they tell me. That's what who tells you? Don't ask.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "Aren't you the only saturday night live guy without some big movie deal?", "c": ["Corbin Bernsen"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "Larry, I have a slumber party with my obsessed fans. We break out the sleeping bags. Order pizza, watch everything I've done on video, then spend hours talking about me.", "c": ["Phil Hartman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "Yeah. I took 10 of my fans on a caribbean cruise. You ever do that? No.", "c": ["Corbin Bernsen", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "What is your worst vacation? Uh... I lost $250 in reno. Look at that. How? Slots. [Chuckles] Slots!", "c": ["Writer", "Fred", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "That's 'cause you're not on TV every night. You don't know what it feels like. You're not out there having tour buses go by your house with fucking psychos coming in to smell your clothes.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "What do you two assholes have to say now?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "[Speaking spanish] Excuse me.", "c": ["Burglar", "Police"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "So he, basically, has no idea who I am. No, he doesn't. Yeah. I see.", "c": ["Police", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "If you only had the electrical fence, all you'd have to do now is unplug it and hose it down.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "He had no idea who you were? None. My god, I'm sorry.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "The Stalker"}, {"t": "What is it, one of those heaven can wait type of movies?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "No. No. [Laughter]", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Maybe if we knew that, we could figure out, Ah, it's a so-and-so doll. We'll work backwards.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "It's a story about a man who's finding himself.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Aw, bullshit. It was an excellent show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Oh, you always do this when you're renegotiating your contract.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Just remember, you've got the network by the balls. They can't do this job.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Fucking little snot. He's too busy playing with his balls to shake my hand.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "You're always supposed to shake a man's hand.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Ask me who the guests are tomorrow night. I'd tell you.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Who are the guests tomorrow night? I'd rather not say. Ok.", "c": ["Larry", "Barry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Not shooting one of those fucking infomercials, are you?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "For one of those infomercials. No. Telethon? No, to go on the road.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "A little soft shoe, you know like Sammy used to do, but with a twist. What's the twist? I'm doing it.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "That's quite a twist, Hank.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "You need a hard surface, and my place has that wall-to-wall shag.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "I'm sure your driveway will do just fine.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "You've sunk all your money in that silly restaurant, and now you're completely fucked. 100% fucked.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Front row center at the El Toro Civic Arena exactly 4 weeks from tonight.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "\"Spinning Wheel,\" but, you know, with a Latin flavor.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Hank, you don't open with a showstopper.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "I thought we were going to go after Letterman money. Well, Letterman had to leave a network in order to get that kind of money.", "c": ["Larry", "Leo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "'Cause I hear he's getting fucked. Oh, he's getting fucked.", "c": ["Larry", "Leo"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "I don't know. Would you just pass on that amount? All right.", "c": ["Larry", "Leo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "[French accent] Can you feed this young hellcat, too?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Beverly, this is Stevie Grant. Hi. Beverly, my assistant. The voice on the phone.", "c": ["Larry", "Stevie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Coming from an agent, I'll take that with a grain of salt. Look out. She's a sassy one.", "c": ["Beverly", "Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Look out. She's a sassy one. / I beg your pardon?", "c": ["Stevie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "She's a client. She's a big pain in the ass. She's very nice.", "c": ["Stevie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "She's a big pain in the ass. She's very nice. Well, she's an actress.", "c": ["Stevie", "Beverly", "Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Your tickets will be at 'will call' under Mr. Stevie Grant, super-agent, plus one.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Let's play it by ear, honcho. Ok...Big guy. [Shoes tap]", "c": ["Stevie", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Is it my imagination or are you clicking? Yeah. These are the, uh, tap shoes. Why? For dancing, silly.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Call Darlene and tell her I need that 5-pound bag of sand onstage. ASAP.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "He's doing that big tap number from Lawrence of Arabia. It's a killer.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Just you, Larry. Good to know.", "c": ["Stevie", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "I learned how to shake a man's hand before I learned how to wipe my own ass!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Do you always fuck on the first date?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "You know all Leno's got on Friday? Sandra Bernhard and Carrot Top.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "I told him to go with a samba, not with a salsa, if he's gonna do the Latin thing.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Isn't it 'come down'? He's scatting.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Just give me my standard 10% of Larry's portion.", "c": ["Leo"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "You wash, I'll dry. Larry has a dishwasher. You rinse, I'll load.", "c": ["Artie", "Francine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Not the nuts. You know, Leo? Ohhh.", "c": ["Larry", "Leo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "No. Thick shirt.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "I mean, he shit all over my career. Right.", "c": ["Doc", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Just like Ed McMahon, you have an act. Well, I wear many hats, you know. Now, that's quite an act.", "c": ["Doc", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Ok, ok, ok. Now, what's funny about that? Tell Melanie 5:30 instead of 6:00.", "c": ["Hank", "Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "\"He's Italian. She's from Wisconsin.\" Macaroni and cheese.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "I like New York. You know, the, uh, museums, the park. You know, you can walk everywhere.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "I happen to, uh, you know, hate New York. But on the show, you're always talking about what a great city it is. Well, um, I also happen to talk about what a great city Jacksonville is because we have affiliates there.", "c": ["Larry", "Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "I happen to hate New York. Well, um, I also happen to talk about what a great city Jacksonville is because we have affiliates there.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "When did this become a 'screw 'em' situation? Just roughly?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Who's Francine? Yeah. See? Tommy, I think-- See, right there, you know?", "c": ["Stevie", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Could be worse. You could be in Leno's band.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "I think I'm just gonna sing the 'bwaa.' I mean, you know, make it like a joke. That's funny, huh?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Hank has got a pair of cojones the size of Texas. You gotta give him that.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Do any of you guys have a bassoon in your car or-- A bassoon? Yeah.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "It's the worst piece of shit I've ever seen. Hey, you should really consider replacing him if New York happens.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "How can you stand it? It's the worst piece of shit I've ever seen.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "You're a quadruple threat. You're a singer, a dancer, a raconteur, and a singer again because you're just that good.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "He's 2-faced, and he's weird. He's just plain weird, Artie.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Hank fired his agent this afternoon. Because he thinks that Stevie's gonna represent him, right?", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "Little prick. Sickening.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "See you Friday, Stevie!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Larry's Agent"}, {"t": "That sign says, 'Applesauce.' No, no. I'm kidding. It says applause.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "The postal service announced today that they'll be putting in new vending machines at all post offices, which, for a dollar, the machine will open fire on everyone.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Hey! I know this is a rerun, but you don't have to change the channel.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Damn it! You made me miss the earrings.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Hey, now.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "everything but the refrigerator door. which you want to stay away from anyway if you're trying to slim down.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "look at that body. look at Hank's. hey, now.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "could I use The Hankerciser to reduce the size Of howard stern's ass?", "c": ["Caller"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Young people are a delight. They're the hope for a new tomorrow. And eventually they'll try to steal our jobs.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Ladies crapper? Third door on the right.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "It's a lesson called, 'If Hank can do it, Anyone can.'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "It's longer than it looks.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Excellent choice.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "I think we've sold some down there. I'll check.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "In an open space, You could cram this Up his ass. I don't think you need To take it out the box.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "You look like howdy doody Having a tantrum.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "You're starting to sound like a reporter on A current affair, You know that? here's something you never hear On a current affair. Ow. Fuck you. Ow. you know, I don't believe I ever have heard that On a current affair.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "You're a student, right? Uh, yeah. What grade Are you in?", "c": ["Writer", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "I won't say yee-haw! Uh-oh. Why not? It's a cowboy term. It's funny If you say it. Try it. Yee-haw!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "The Larrystepper. That's it. No, the Larryciser-- Larryride--", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Did she warm up Properly? Did she warm up?", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Because We like our steaks Like we like Our talk shows-- Well done.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Ben-gay my ass. She was so bruised, She couldn't have sex.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "I said let's all go down And have some fucking cheese.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Don't mind us, Hank. Pretend we're not here. Alone, Goddamn it!", "c": ["Students", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "This is something You don't need to see. You're just in Your late teens. Let's go.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "I knew it. And she is a judas!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "So you get your own show, And I get to have dick.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "And I have to pay For the fact That you're back With that cunt.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "I think it's that new Hay fever medication. I-- i-- I think it has Opium in it.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Please, have pity. I'm-- I'm drowning.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "You, uh, slip on the ice? My Hankerciser broke, and I pulled my neck.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "I was rear-ended.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Sweet Jesus. It's a house of cards.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "is this, uh... Off the record?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "A guy showed me A thing on paper. It looked good, And he said I just had to Put my name on it, And, uh... I can't find him. I'm so fucked.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Don't tell Larry How fast I buckled.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "He started crying? no. He was crying. He was-- He buckled that fast?", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Besides, I'm finishing That article On cellular phones And brain tumors.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "How much time do you think It'll take to heal roughly? If you had to put A time frame on it?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Oh, the 'cunt' thing?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "You remember The guest hypnotist? I think he put some Sort of hex on me. Yeah, that combined with The hay fever medication Would drive--", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "I got Something brewing With the, uh, Beretor Electronics people. Cellular phones, Baby.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "And I think today is What I consider to be A typical day at the Larry Sanders show. Shit...", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "The Hankerciser 200"}, {"t": "Well, I do. I'm gonna keep them waiting.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "I am. I'm going to piss all over them.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Do you think when Johnny Carson picked David Letterman to go after him at 12:30, he went through this shit? Hell, no. Nobody fucked with Johnny.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "That's just what America needs\u2014another fucking awards show. Political bullshit. You kiss somebody's ass, and they send your name to the engravers.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Will they send a limo? Town car. Oh, good. Much less gaudy.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Bob Saget. Saget\u2014good name. Excellent name, but he's doing some shows. Wouldn't this be too much? Bob is a mule.", "c": ["Network Executive", "Larry", "Arthur"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "You're raiding the cast of Full House, huh? Check into the Olsen twins. I hear, once their parents go to sleep, they're wild.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Really? I'll see if they're interested.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Bobcat Goldthwait.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Is he the guy who makes the animal noises? I knew you'd say that. That's just one of his colors.", "c": ["Network Executive", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "There's a lot of funny out there, and we're looking for the right kind of funny.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Let's take a good look at tomcat. Bobcat. Whatever.", "c": ["Arthur"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Just passing through town, doing my film. Oh. What film? You doing the Coneheads? No. Hans and Franz.", "c": ["Kevin", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Are you Hans or Franz? Franz\u2014Hans. No. Franz. Franz. Carvey's Hans. Franz is the funny one.", "c": ["Larry", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Bobcat. That's funny. Was Gallagher tied up or something?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Gilbert Gottfried called, Bob Saget called, Allan Havey called several times, Louie Anderson, Steven Wright, Robert Klein, and Sinbad. Goddamn hyenas.", "c": ["Assistant", "Arthur"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "What, was David Brenner out of the country? David Brenner sent brownies.", "c": ["Arthur", "Assistant"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "What does the award look like? It's probably a statue of a guy's head halfway up another guy's ass. I already have a fountain like that.", "c": ["Larry", "Arthur"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "This is it, gentlemen. This is fucking it. The seeds of disrespect for Hank Kingsley that have been sown so liberally around here have finally come to bloom.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Doesn't the left one look longer? Absolutely. Can we, uh\u2014Can we? Bring it up about a quarter\u2014", "c": ["Hank", "Vito"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "\"Hank's memories\"? \"I remember those winter days when I'd return home from my paper route, my toes and fingers dead from the cold. How I wanted to quit that job, but whenever I mentioned it to mom, she always said, 'Hank, always remember penis, vagina. Ooh. Penis, vagina. Penis, vagina.'\"", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "What the hell is this, Hank? It is unbelievable, isn't it? Yeah. This is what my mom used to say to me. What are the odds of that?", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Paper doesn't grow on trees.", "c": ["Arthur"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "So it wasn't you, Lar?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Well, I guess we know which side of the family you get that mouth from.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "It screams you. / It screams penis, vagina more than anything.", "c": ["Phil", "Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "I'd have said you come home from a hard day at the paper route. Your mom's there with a thin dressing gown that slips open, and...", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "My hands are over a barrel.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "He\u2014that guy has such a weird energy.", "c": ["Steven Wright"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Sure, long enough To say penis, vagina.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "I gotta run, uh, 'cause I have some toast in the toasterette. [Chuckles] Not the toasterette, the kitchenette.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "I'll be 111 when I have a kid in little league.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Even on a blind date, I insist we go to counseling on the way.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Duh! Larry, come on. What are you, crazy? You're joking. I got a series and movies. Besides, who wants to do a talk show five nights a week? You.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "I would like to accept this very gracious recognition. Thank you very much.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "The animal... \"Ah ah ah!\" He shouts. It'll be good going Into commercials-- \"We'll be right back!\"", "c": ["David Letterman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Tom Snyder. But don't tell anyone. Oh, come on. Tom Snyder\u2014tomorrow\u2014Tom Snyder. Come on. No. Yeah. Tom Snyder.", "c": ["Letterman", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Dick Cavett tied up?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Take the award. I'm not kidding around this time. Take it, please. It would mean a lot to me to take it. Go ahead. Okay. You're insane! Boy, oh, boy, are you nuts. You're a fucker.", "c": ["Letterman", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "I won't even have real chairs. I'll have beanbag chairs. I won't even have a desk. I'll have a beanbag desk.", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "So a guest comes on, puts a beverage on the wobbly desk. That will be funny, right?", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Wednesday Is no-pants night. I don't care who The guest is. No pants.", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "I'll have a giant nerf bat, bigger than this. I'll just go, 'That's fascinating. Please tell me some more about your pets.' Boom! Smack her right in the face! I'll hit her so hard, her makeup will stick. It'll be like the holy shroud of Donna.", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "I'll hit her so hard, Her makeup will stick. It'll be like The holy shroud of donna.", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "The smothers brothers Are actually brothers. Coulier and saget Aren't related.", "c": ["Arthur", "Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Then sometimes, I won't even be on the show. My voice will come from a box like this. It will be this disembodied voice, you know, like a Beckett play.", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Some asshole put a potato in the tailpipe of my car. That's awful. Who would do that? I'll kill the bastard.", "c": ["Sid", "Arthur"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "Bill Clinton nominated a woman to the Supreme Court, or as Clarence Thomas likes to say... New meat.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "He's an old friend and a very talented man\u2014Mr. Tom Snyder!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "It was worth it. We got him. How did old Bobcat take it? I thought you told Bobcat. You were going to tell him. Someone better tell him before this goes on. He's your pal. It's your idea.", "c": ["Arthur", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "When Letterman said he was thinking of Tom Snyder, you're sure he wasn't joking? No. He wasn't joking. Yeah. 'Cause I asked Tom about it, and he never heard about the Letterman thing. Really? Really.", "c": ["Arthur", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Life Behind Larry"}, {"t": "There's only two seasons in this city-- rainy and riot.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "A little rain, and this whole town shuts down. They said he has the flu. Bullshit.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "There's a goddamn house that's sitting right here in the middle of the road! Don't ever move to Malibu, it's a fucking hellhole.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "That's why I live in the valley.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "I'd like you to fill in for me... And don't tell Larry that I'm not there because you know how he gets when I'm not around.", "c": ["Artie", "Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Two years is two days in Darlene time.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Spot clean... Yesterday he said something about spot cleaning.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Absent, detained, not-o here-o.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god!", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Hey, stow that shit, sailor.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "That's the spirit-- gallows humor. [Paula] It's not a joke.", "c": ["Hank", "Paula"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "You're 28. / 26. / Thanks for your support.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula", "Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "We don't have lunch till 5:30. / Before brunch. / Brunch it is.", "c": ["Writer", "Paula", "Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Larry hates your magic tricks. / This isn't magic. This is an illusion.", "c": ["Paula", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "And what crawled up his ass and died?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "No way... Take off my shoe and look inside.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "That's amazing. How'd you do that? / Magic. / Fuck!", "c": ["Larry", "Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Robert, hi. I'm sorry, honey... Work is so crazy today.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "I was going to tell you about it. / I haven't seen him since we broke up. / I know. I don't want to see him--", "c": ["Paula", "Darlene", "Darlene"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "I believe he's speaking with Elayne Boosler... For lead? I don't know. That's just one option.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Like who? / Jody Watley. / Funny. / She's a singer. / I know.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula", "Larry", "Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Let's try and find someone Donald Trump hasn't screwed.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Have a glass of wine... You don't have to drink it, Paula. Just walk in front of the audience with it.", "c": ["Artie", "Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "The way I look now, it won't relax anyone to see me with alcohol.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "We don't have a lead guest, do we? / Hank will try and jam in a stupid magic trick.", "c": ["Larry", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Dance all night, dudes.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "I was told I was on first... But when Hank called, I came right over.", "c": ["Bruno", "Steven"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "You do a great job... as a sidekick. / What a nice compliment.", "c": ["Steven", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Hey, man. I don't even know what an ego thing is, man.", "c": ["Steven Wright"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "This fucking show is run so fucking sloppy. This would never happen on Letterman. / Right. It's amateur night in Dixie.", "c": ["Bruno", "Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "But I suppose it's a dry heat and I'm just an old fuck.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "You know what? I knew you would say that.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Richard Simmons said, 'The woman's crazy. I was talking to the guy next to her.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Why can't they say it has a success rate of 74%?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "This is just an example of some people seeing the condom as 1/4 empty when it's really 3/4 full.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "He says you're doing great. / He's waving. / I can't make him out, but good.", "c": ["Paula", "Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "You know, in L.A., you can't be too sure what that popping is.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "He was wonderful in City Slickers. / Wonderful. / No, he was not in City Slickers. / You're thinking of someone else.", "c": ["Larry", "Larry", "Hank", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "You're right, and I'm wrong... Well, if you're going to be that way about it.", "c": ["Larry", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Coming out with you is like something is dragging on my foot.", "c": ["Steven Wright"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "He's saying you stick to his shoe like toilet paper, which I think is rude.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "New York. / The Gap.", "c": ["Bruno", "Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "From the Gap?", "c": ["Bruno"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I got mine first.", "c": ["Steven"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "I used to dance like that in high school, by the way.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Artie wasn't even here. He was in a mud slide. It was just me.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "You're what? 28? / 26.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Oh, christ!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "It was an accident. I shouldn't drink. / Horse hockey.", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "Smells like the 10 of clubs.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "My card was the 4 of diamonds, asshole.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Artie's Gone"}, {"t": "It sounds like Most of those Become sidekicks, Announcers, That kind of thing. They're almost Intelligent enough.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Joel, are you an ape Or a monkey?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "That's the clip We'll use. The koala bear Peeing on Larry Is much funnier.", "c": ["Production Staff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Classic, my ass! People are tired Of seeing hosts Being pissed on. Joe franklin did that 30 years ago.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "And what They want to see Is Larry Sanders getting Hit in the nuts by a monkey.", "c": ["Production Staff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Good thinking, Larry. I agree. We'll use The monkey as a bumper And the koala bear For the clip package.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Well, let's get rid Of the fucking blue curtain. Jazz things up a little. Let's get a red curtain, Maybe with a stripe.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.1, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "How could I forget, Joan? That was my last Intimate relationship.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "She doesn't do this At home. She only does it With you.", "c": ["Joan Embrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Ever since I started working On this movie, I'm telling you, I feel like I've been wasting My life doing that show.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "He's not in yet. I know he's not in yet. Hank wants to know Where Larry is. He's not in yet. Is he sick? I don't know. Where's Larry? He's not in yet.", "c": ["Beverly", "Staff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "I suppose she prefers The cinema and the ballet.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "I'm afraid our boy Is getting pussy-whipped. Artie, ix-nay On the ussy-whipped-pay. Quite right, Hank. Inexcusable. Forgive me, ladies.", "c": ["Artie", "Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "If he's not At his house, Try yoko's place.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "I'm fluish.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "I don't think those were His real fingers.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "People probably Won't remember Who Oprah winfrey is. Michael jackson Is timeless, you know?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Like those moments During the commercial When he asks if anything's Hanging from his nose?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Remember, you can't spell Smart ass without a-s-s.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "The cone of silence Is coming down.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Who isn't?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "You're going to see A re-energized Hank Kingsley-- On, with a capital 'o' And a capital 'n.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "It's really hard. Pardon me? Yeah, It is hard. Yeah, very. It's hard. It really works. Boy, it is hard.", "c": ["Larry", "Suzanne Somers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Oh, That lucky thing.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Her boobs were falling Out of her blouse. And all I did was Make lewd innuendoes About having sex With her. I'm very, very proud.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Leno couldn't flirt. It would Make people sick. Yech.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Recently I was dating a solid gold dancer, and she was... everything to me. / I didn't know solid gold was still on. / It isn't. She was a solid gold dancer in 1979. I'm sorry. It was '80.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "I didn't know solid gold Was still on. It isn't. She was A solid gold dancer in 1979. I'm sorry. It was '80. Well, still The peak years.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "You trying to tell me You're pregnant, Hank?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.1, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Sometimes, When kenny g is on, I get a little sleepy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Was that a curtsy? Did you just curtsy?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Thumbs, Hank.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "There's no reason For arthur to hate me. He doesn't hate you. Oh, good. I just typed 'He doesn't hate you.' Yes, he does.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.4, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Sweat becomes you.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Surround sound will bring this to life.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "I like it rough. Well, nevertheless. Surround sound will Bring this to life.", "c": ["Francine", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "There's oxygen In the kitchen.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "I like the sound Of the banging And then the bell. Or do you prefer The bell and then The banging?", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "He's typing? What does that mean? He'll be doing His own stuff, And we're not gonna Get anything on.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "We'll be right in. Hank, would you do me A favor and say... [Whispering]", "c": ["Artie", "Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "I am very concerned About Larry's lack Of interest in the show. Not now, Hank.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Excuse Hank. Hank sometimes Forgets his boundaries.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.93, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "He's tired of getting hit In the nuts by monkeys.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "That monkey gave A lot of people pleasure With that Inappropriate act.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.77, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Movies, is it? Oh, movies.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "You guys hitting on My ex-wife?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "How do you feel About... Harrison ford As lyle? Well... I think, you know, I'm really lyle. Or gerard depardieu.", "c": ["Executives", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "He went insane. He was killed in a gun battle With the police. That's a little heavy For me. No, no. Actually, It's funny.", "c": ["Executives", "Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "You wouldn't be Playing Hank.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "she's a female, all right.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.14, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Don't take this show For granted. You insult me And everyone Who works here.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Go ahead And see how you like Spending 14-hour days In a trailer Playing gin rummy With your hairdresser.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "You and Hank Eating pie.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Hear that live audience Laugh? You won't get that Making movies.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.27, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "I was just wondering-- You being so funny, How come you don't do movies?", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Larry Loses Interest"}, {"t": "Air force major general Harold campbell described president clinton as gay-loving, pot-smoking, and womanizing. Clinton retaliated by saying, 'Well, at least I'm fun to be with.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Pepsi is attempting to control the damage caused by recent tampering by switching to a brand-new slogan, which is 'diet pepsi-- even with a syringe, it's just one calorie.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "She wasn't wearing underwear, was she? Ha ha! That shook you up, didn't it? You were very funny. Damn right, it shook me up. I stunk the rest of the show.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "I did 12 jokes. I laughed at all 12. Well, that means she didn't laugh 9 times.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "A once-talented nobody who obviously wants something from someone.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "You want me to kick his parasitic ass into the street? What is your problem? Sorry. That's right. I forgot. You used to be a bouncer.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Jeez, not a day goes by we don't think, 'Hey-- what-- where's Stan?'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Turn around, let me see the ass. No. No. Let me see the-- come on, let me see the ass.", "c": ["Stan", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "I was jerking off the other day. Steam came out.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "It's a check for $127 that I owe you. For what? 1978, baltimore Holiday inn. You were sleeping. I took $127 out of your pocket.", "c": ["Stan", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "What did you need the money for? I don't know. Coke, hookers--something. At least it didn't go to waste.", "c": ["Larry", "Stan", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Hey, listen, I just feel bad for that maid I had fired. That's right, it was coke. I was balling that maid-- And oh, don't worry about her, man. She had the time of her life.", "c": ["Larry", "Stan"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "No wonder our room was never cleaned on time.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Hey, now. Well, now, that sounded like you had Tourette's syndrome. You're right, it was a little too forced, huh?", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "I still listen to the I'm Larry, he's Stan album ever couple of months. Really? Well, no. Actually, I lied. My record player broke during the riots.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Hey, the old partner meets the new partner. The ex-partner.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Who are we trying to avoid?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "[Crickets chirping]", "c": ["Environmental"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "I'd probably temp.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "I'm tired of holding this whole conversation. Would you please say something?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "I just feel so fucking guilty.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "We only use two rooms. They're not all ours. I noticed. It's like the shining. I think I saw scatman crothers in your kitchen burning toast.", "c": ["Larry", "Stan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Temp worker, my ass. He's a stone hustler.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "You've just stepped in a huge pile of shit named Stan Paxton. You're tracking it all over my office.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "It's your show, it's my office! No. It's your show, It's my office!", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "It's your show, it's my office!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "I got into this mainly to get laid. I think that's what basically bothered Larry was that I was getting laid all the time.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Just get me the newspapers, capisce?", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Yeah, the one about the comic who comes to town, fucks the princess.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "The water here in los angeles is so bad, the lead content is so high, that it was announced today a baby was born in los angeles hospital who weighed 7,000 pounds.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "He should give the crowd a fucking receipt.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Who do I blow around here to get my jokes on? [Both] Me.", "c": ["Stan", "Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Drinking during the monologue at my fucking monitor. You're kidding. Are you positive? I could smell it in his coffee-- some kind of cheap, domestic plain-wrapped vodka.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "That's for weekends. I'll talk to stan. I got to piss. I've got to go alone. I've got to clear my head, all right? I'll just hang here by the door like some crapper gargoyle.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "You're in a bathroom. You smell disinfectant and urine.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "What is this, your office, fonzie?", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "There's nothing I like better after a big meal than spinning around till I puke.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Larry is going to be an honorary silent partner. You think you can handle it?", "c": ["Hank", "Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "One what? Uh, table.", "c": ["Stan", "Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Hank, that'd be like me asking you to say 'hey, now.' Ok. Hey, now.", "c": ["Stan", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Maybe if you'd told him that back then, they maybe today Stan would be Hank. That's horrible thing to say. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Fucking crime to-- you don't ruin a beautiful piece of meat.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "You owe me this one, Larry. Come on. You know that. You owe me this one.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "I was down in bakersfield. Is that strange or what? I mean, it's such a boring, boring place. I mean, once you've masturbated, you've pretty much shot the day.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "David koresh--the guy down at waco, texas-- it turns out he was obsessed with madonna. I guess that guy was off his rocker after all.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Well, my guess it that tape did come out of his ass.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "He almost made abortion funny.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "That's all he did was five minutes. It's about five minutes too long.", "c": ["Jerry", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Like who? Gallagher. We haven't had gallagher on, but there's a perfect example.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "[Bottle clatters]", "c": ["Environmental"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "I've gone onstage like this 100 times. Yeah, I remember. I remember you tripping over the mike stand, insulting people in the audience, and just generally sucking.", "c": ["Stan", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "I've gone onstage like this 100 times. You remember. Yeah, I remember. I remember you tripping over the mike stand, insulting people in the audience, and just generally sucking.", "c": ["Stan", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Because you're fucking drunk, stan. The same way you were 15 years ago. That's why I left.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Is he, uh... No, he even bungled that. He missed.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "They found him in his car. What do you mean, they found him? He was shot.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "He shot off the top of his left ear. My god, my god, my god. Stan killed himself. He didn't kill himself. He just fucked up his left ear.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "And he had a shotgun. He put a shotgun in his mouth and he pulled the trigger. Why would anybody do anything like that? Bullshit! It was his ear.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "This is a horrible trick. He's talking to him, Hank. Maybe yes, maybe no.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Don't you have to be working longer than three days to qualify for the health plan? I don't know. Artie! No health plan! [Door slams]", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Larry's Partner"}, {"t": "Yeah. We've All seen her.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Hey is all you need.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "You have A little hair there Coming down.", "c": ["Unknown crew member", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "In my bedroom In a box next to my bed, I have every tape Of every playboy after dark Ever made.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "That would be a hoot to Be invited to one of those.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Jesus, did you see how Hank Was all over hefner? He did everything But hump his leg.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "You must have Looked away.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "You could Stand on the roof And watch Angie dickinson Sunbathe.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "This is A mediterranean ficus. It's a very classy plant. Look perfect By your fireplace. Think so? Yes. No.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "After many years Of trying, Hank Kingsley is going To appear in playboy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Actually, it's not The interview. It's a feature about women Who work in television. But, Hank, You're a man. Right, But you're a woman.", "c": ["Hank", "Darlene"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "I-i didn't ask, But I would assume, yeah.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Your dad's Passed away, right? We think so. We're not sure. He left when I was 7.", "c": ["Darlene", "Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "No bush.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Well, you asking me To move in with you? [Laughs] Yes, in my own 'I can't believe I did it That way myself' way. Yes, I am. I guess.", "c": ["Francine", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "That's a head Carved out of rock. This looks like The junior suite In the four seasons. Thank you. Jeannie and I met there.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "In the crapper.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "You know, the more I hear about this, It sounds to me Like there's Little difference Between Hank And the amazing clifford. Clifford probably Dresses better.", "c": ["Phil", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "They were on her desk In a big envelope With a playboy Bunny on it. We just thought It was a new issue.", "c": ["Phil", "Beverly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Larry's stunned silence and laugh after seeing the photos", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "We're not talking about hustler or penthouse Or swank or juggs Or screw!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Shouting out the names Of some of this country's Finest men's publications Outside the ladies' crapper Is not low profile.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "If you think It's so great, Show everyone your tits.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "I'll look like Harvey korman.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Just Larry and me In a decorating magazine? People might get The wrong idea. I would.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "You're gonna be disappointed. You'll see.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Standing Next to Hank, You'll come off Like carl sagan.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "I've got a face That cracks mirrors. That's why I'm a producer.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "That magazine Was built on ideas Like 'the sidekick's Sidekick,' And it is not A circa 1975 idea. It is money In the bank, frank!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "You see, it's very Hard to pose nude And wear a t-shirt At the same time. In fact, It's downright Impossible.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, Hank. It's america's loss.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Might be fun to get you And Hank on the couch.", "c": ["Photographer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "This is fucking Bad timing That darlene's Article came out The same day As yours.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "I wore the Hank's look Around cafe t-shirt In the main shot. It's a little ripped, But you can still read it.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "There was a small grease fire At the site last night. No, no. It's only Going to push us back About, oh, 10 months.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "Those fuckers. Fuckers!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "Broadcast Nudes"}, {"t": "\u266a Happy birthday, Mr. President \u266a Mr. President? Should I say 'Larry'?", "c": ["Unknown singer", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Has anyone else done this idea yet? Only jojo in the commissary.", "c": ["Unknown singer", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "[Kiss noises] Easy.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Uh, the insurance people wanted a visual inventory of the office property.", "c": ["Unknown assistant"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Nobody's even thinking about your birthday, Larry.", "c": ["Unknown assistant"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "For a 55-year-old guy, you look a little heavy. Ouch.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "You sounded almost sincere. Well, you can't fake feelings like that.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "That wasn't bad. It sucked, man.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "He spent the whole time kissing Joel Grey's ass.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "What finally convinced him, the quality of our riots?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "As usual, I'd like to see more of that humor on the page.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "A shetland pony?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "It looks like something Sammy Davis Jr. would have worn.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "I thought we were going to get him gag gifts this year.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "I bought Larry plastic vomit.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure I parked in Nitro's space. He'll probably just pick the car up and move it.", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "I'm sure one will be opening up very soon.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Larry could hardly even look at me. It wasn't my imagination?", "c": ["Phil", "Jerry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Louis XIII is much more than cognac... After four sips, he fell asleep at the Christmas party. Exactly. That's what Larry likes to do.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Including a $5.00 rush delivery, it's $32.12... There's been a mistake. I ordered Louis XIII.", "c": ["Delivery guy", "Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "It's like hot piss.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "They gave Julio Gallo a very nice funeral. The only problem was when it was time to close the casket, nobody could find the cork.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "You have fucked at least three interns that I know about, one right out there behind the fucking desk.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "You have to be a genius to get away with that kind of stuff. You're not getting away with it, jer.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Don't sweat it, kiddo. It's a good deal. You're getting fired. They have to pay you for a month.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "I just fell in love with this beauty, so I treated myself because I deserve it.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "The network owns the company that makes those. The cost to them is nothing.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "He said, 'Clint, do you know Hank?' And do you know what that simple gesture did? It just made my day.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Some guy offered to blow me for three bucks. What'd you do? I gave the guy three bucks. He looked like he could use it.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "But what did he do, jerry?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Ok, so I'm a little slow, all right? But what I'm saying is, have you made the video yet?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Don't get me angry. [Applause, laughter]", "c": ["Sugar Ray Leonard", "Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "This conversation is not unlike what it must be to fight you, 'cause you feel like... You're surprising me, and I'm not that-- I'm doing the best I can.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Those are sissy shoes.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Knock that shit off, you guys. Sorry, Artie. Listen, I picked that fucking goddamn tie out myself.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Surprise! Beverly, didn't I ask you-- I know. But I surprised you, didn't I?", "c": ["Party guests", "Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "This is $1,100 a bottle. $75 a shot. And this is the last bottle in the western U.S. You're goddamn right it is.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Because I know that you love-- gadgets. Math. I love math. And gadgets. Math and gadgets.", "c": ["Darlene", "Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Oh, I feel like Levar Burton in Roots: The Next Generation.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Yeah, Artie and I both pitched in on the cognac. No, uh-- So you both pitched in?", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Uh, yeah, Larry, I hope I made it clear that the cognac is from both Arthur and myself. So you both pitched in? No, uh--", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "That's my gift to Larry. Hey, thanks. Could you blow out the candles? The cake is heavy.", "c": ["Jerry", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Oh, my god. Who threw up? What is that? That's my gift to Larry.", "c": ["Francine", "Hank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Well, fuck you, ok? Because a, I know I've been fired. And b, if you think I wanna celebrate that fact with you fucks, you're out of your fucking mind.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Larry, is this your little way of letting me know that I've been fired? Well, fuck you, ok? Because a, I know I've been fired. Artie told me. And b, if you think I wanna celebrate that fact with you fucks, you're out of your fucking mind, ok?", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "This is the best party I've ever had.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "I was gonna give him a Mickey Mantle one! I got it in the car! I already got him a Mickey Mantle one!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "I was gonna give him a Mickey Mantle one! I got it in the car! I already got him a Mickey Mantle one!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "I remember right before I gave up stand-up, I was at Catch a Rising Star, and I was bombing horribly. And there was one guy in the back that was laughing, and it was you.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "Happy birthday, asshole. [Rock thuds]", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Birthday"}, {"t": "That sign says 'Applesauce.' No, no, I'm kidding. It says 'applause.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Julia Roberts collapsed on set, but it turns out it had just finally dawned on her that she had married Lyle Lovett, which would cause anyone just to pass out", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "The defense department canceled the Star Wars program, which is a shame because it was the most consistent work Mark Hamill ever had", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "The prop master is flipping me off. That's for machine-gun fire.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Where'd you learn to do that, jake? / Juilliard. / Money well spent, jake.", "c": ["Larry", "Jake"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Can you imagine waking up to that? Actually, I was wondering if the alarm clock was free later tonight.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Oh, fucking moron-- Leaving us to go on tour with Amy Grant. Jesus! / Artie, he found god. / Blah, blah, blah.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Is anyone buying that accent? I mean, it's Yakov Smirnoff time.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "What are you grabbing my elbow? / Am I? / Yeah. You grabbed my elbow. Please. Thank you.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "You're fired. Ha ha ha! / All right. You see, now, that's funny. Let's take a second and examine, why is that funny, exactly?", "c": ["Artie", "Hank"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Oh, fuck me. Poker at James Coburn's place! Oh, god. I forgot.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "I agree with Artie, except about screwing Hank. That's a personal judgment call.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Mom and dad couldn't believe it the first time I wore pants. Give me a break.", "c": ["Francine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Is that Aaron Spelling's house? / No, that's the Mormon Tabernacle.", "c": ["Dora", "Francine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Don't forget to flush. [Chuckles] Or not. It's up to you.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "I can't have dinner, I'm filled up with pudding.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "You're out of toilet paper. / You know what it is? In most of the relationships you've been involved in, you've been Larry Sanders-- the Larry Sanders.", "c": ["Dora", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "God, you should have a column.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Give me an 'L,' give me an 'A,' give me an 'R,' give me an 'R,' give me a 'Y.' What's that spell? Come on! What's that spell? / Larry. / God damn right, Larry.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Or to use your musical lingo, a couple of half notes. / [Both chuckle] / It's not a problem. I've got an easy schedule. / You see, Larry... 'Schedule.'", "c": ["Artie", "Jake", "Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "I mean, this guy cannot stop using drug references.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "No, but I think I sold him some pot at Oxford. / He was there. Let me tell you. He definitely inhaled. He just hasn't exhaled yet.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Commander-in-grief? / Commander-in-grief, because he's giving us so many problems.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Birds? / The ladies. / The ladies. I see. Squealing after the number, hmm? / Thanks for switching on the squeal sign.", "c": ["Jake", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Hank, don't miss that bus to Carnaby Street.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Step on my turf again, and you're going down. You dig? / Chill out. / Yeah, well, I'll chill out when you fucking get out.", "c": ["Hank", "Jake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "[British accent] Oh, am I? / Yes, you are. / Am I-- am I really? / [American accent] I'm warning you.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "A double dollop of icing.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "God, tonight's show was the cake, but you definitely are the icing.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Good. That would be great. / Together like this? Hey, great. Wouldn't that be great? Screw it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Did any of Johnny's wives work? / Well, they were fully functional. Is that the question?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "All of Johnny's wives had the same first name, so that confused things from the get-go.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "I fired her ass. She was my secretary.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "He's not doing that. He's ordering dinner from the McDonald's on Alameda. / [Sparse laughter] [Drum roll, fanfare] [More laughter]", "c": ["Hank", "Jake"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "It's, uh, Jake, actually, Hank, in case you forgot. / Jake. Jack Woodward-- we're very fortunate to have him here. We outbid some of the finest high-school marching bands to get him tonight.", "c": ["Jake", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "I do miss my baton and furry hat.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Interesting when those drugs just kick in like that, isn't it?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Especially since those charges against having sex with minors has been dropped. It has been dropped, hasn't it? / [Silence]", "c": ["Hank", "Jake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Signs over here! That say 'applesauce.' No, they don't. They say 'applause.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "I can't believe you're bringing him dinner at his office. / It's romantic. / It's pathetic.", "c": ["Dora", "Francine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "I think I confused them. I think they actually thought I meant miners. You know, down in the mines.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "I think I confused them. I think they actually thought I meant miners. You know, down in the mines.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "I wear this girdle for medical reasons, all right? I am performing with pain. / Christ.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "And you're not, dickface. You are a joke. A joke!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Take your tea and your crumpets and, uh, queen mum and shove them up your jolly old rectum.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "This equipment belongs to the Larry Sanders show, featuring me, 'hey, now' Hank Kingsley!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "Was she, uh... upset? / What do you think?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Being There"}, {"t": "When does that come out? / I don't know.", "c": ["Larry", "George"], "jt": ["running_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'And has she been released?' 'No. She's still in the can.'", "c": ["Larry", "George Segal"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "Artie: 'I almost had to run to the can myself' after praising the 'in the can' joke", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'But we have him on every month, Artie.' 'Hank's on every night.' 'I've been meaning to talk to you about that.'", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "Artie reading the fall schedule: 'Ben vereen. Up and tapping, thank god. Susan dey. Pertful little skirtfull.'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'That's why the good lord invented videotape.'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'10:00 tomorrow!' 'That means 10:30?' 'Yeah. 10:30 sharp.'", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "Hank's dramatic prediction: 'Mark my words, children. Somebody is going down. They started with Jerry. They'll do it again.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'We didn't introduce R.E.M. as \"rem\" last week.' 'Oh, my brave, brave Phil. Always with the jokes and yet so very desperate.'", "c": ["Phil", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'If somebody gets fired, it will be me.' 'No. No, it is. I've been here the shortest time.' Multiple people claiming they'll be fired", "c": ["Phil", "Mike", "others"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'He'll take antidepressants, and everything will be normal.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'I'm just getting a haircut.' Larry sitting in barber chair during his own crisis meeting", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Hey, a haircut, huh?' 'No. He's just checking it.' 'That's a great haircut.' 'He's just started.'", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Do you want to just give me one second?' Larry interrupting his own urgent meeting for haircut maintenance", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'I can sum up with one word-- guests.' 'Guests. Thank you, Jesus.' 'What did you think the problem was?' '[All] Guests.'", "c": ["Larry", "Artie", "Staff"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'I know you, Kiki. How's your... How's your, uh--' 'Well. Thanks.'", "c": ["Larry", "Kiki"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Could you repeat that last part?' 'Which part?' 'About the people...' 'Was I unclear about--' 'Clear to me.' 'Perfectly clear.'", "c": ["Staff member", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "Could you repeat that last part? Which part? About the people... Was I unclear about-- Clear to me. Perfectly clear.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'And who is Al Nelson?' 'He's the plate spinner.' 'He was a regular on Sullivan 30 years ago.'", "c": ["Larry", "Staff"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'He's older now, and he's started using Chinette, but people still flip for him.'", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'This is a booking problem, right?' '[Artie] Phil, shut the fuck up.' 'I'll handle it. Phil, shut the fuck up.'", "c": ["Phil", "Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Mike, you're new here.' 'I'll let that slide, but--' 'Hank, put your hand down.'", "c": ["Larry", "Mike", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Robert Conrad.' 'No. No. Owes me a favor. Pick up the phone. Hello, Bobby.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Raymond Burr, with whom I once had the honor of playing golf.' 'Hello, Perry.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Performance art. That's a bunch of dog poop. What does he do? Get stark naked? Cover himself with chocolate syrup?'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "Reading the pretentious review: 'A garrulous assault of anecdote, humor, observation, and social comment punctuated by movement and channeled through life experience.'", "c": ["Staff member"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "A sperm looking like Jesse Helms tries to catch me. I elude him and find a willing lesbian ovum.", "c": ["Tim Miller"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'All right. All right. That is not necessary.' Larry's awkward attempt to control the booing", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'I apologize for our audience. Let's try and stay open.' '[Hank] Right. Stay open.'", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Go back to San Francisco!' 'I'm from L.A.' Basic geographic correction", "c": ["Audience member", "Tim Miller"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "I warned you with my eyes. I heard nothing. I saw nothing.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'The tape was not that gay.' Larry's confused damage assessment", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'He's talking about butt plugs. He's talking about his father's orgasm.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'We think you're terrific, Timbo.' immediately followed by Tim asking not to be called Timbo", "c": ["Artie", "Tim Miller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Listen to me, Melody, the man said \"butt plug\" three times! And you and I both know you can't--' 'You can say \"butt plug\"? Since when?'", "c": ["Artie", "Network executive"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'The network says that it is our decision and they find no problem with the piece.' 'What do you mean?' 'They're hanging us out to dry.'", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "You can say 'butt plug'? Since when?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'I'll count to 10, and if you agree with my choice, don't say anything.' 'I agree.' 'Then don't say anything.' 'I got excited. I had the answer.'", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "I agree. Then don't say anything. I got excited. I had the answer.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'I told my friends to watch Tim Miller last night.' 'Why, Phil?' 'They haven't seen anything that good since my college roommate's nervous breakdown.'", "c": ["Phil", "Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "Liz Smith review: 'Sanders cans performance by Miller. Late-night funny man Larry Sanders couldn't take the heat last night, so he threw Mr. Miller out of the kitchen.'", "c": ["Staff member reading"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Calling him the Jesse Helms of late-night television.' 'Well, hell. That's not so bad.'", "c": ["Staff", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'I'm not mentioned in either article.' Hank's hurt feelings about being left out of controversy", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Your brain doesn't have any cognizance of anything.' Larry's attempt at profound criticism", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "And my, uh, whole face. It looks great. Your whole face.", "c": ["Larry", "George"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'If you're so square, I might as well do Leno.' '[Audience] Ooh!'", "c": ["Guest comedian", "Audience"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'I hide them behind a desk.' Continuing the testicle joke", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'And don't call me Timbo anymore, okay?' Tim Miller's irritated request", "c": ["Tim Miller"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'Television degrades everybody on it and everybody who watches it.'", "c": ["Tim Miller"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "Tim Miller performing the same material on a competing show and being celebrated", "c": ["Tim Miller", "Competing host"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "Turn it off. You know, Tim's great. He's got a story to tell. He's telling how we screwed him.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "'There's this comic I saw on the Leno show-- a guy named Tim Miller-- who would have been sensational. He's the kind of guy who'd be perfect on this show. You should book him.'", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "The Performance Artist"}, {"t": "\u266a My little chicken \u266a", "c": ["Adam Sandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "\u266a I love your breasts \u266a", "c": ["Adam Sandler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "\u266a I love the way You eat gravel / To help you digest \u266a", "c": ["Adam Sandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "\u266a But I know / That the worst I should fear / Is a slight case Of salmonella \u266a", "c": ["Adam Sandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "\u266a If an egg can fit in there, Why can't i? \u266a", "c": ["Adam Sandler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "\u266a My little / Chicken likes to wear Garter belts \u266a\u266a", "c": ["Adam Sandler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "I have got to start Coming to rehearsal.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "What the fuck do you Think that is, huh? What is this, love connection?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "You can't hurt me. I'm invincible. I got the shield Of love around me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Wall of love, my ass.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "She happens to be Regional sales manager For the sandwich king.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "We wouldn't Do that. Not to your face.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Should I get A bundt cake?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Please, no pictures.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "You must be Beverly. Yes, margaret, hi. Um... I'm margaret. I'm sharon. I'm from the temp agency.", "c": ["Margaret", "Beverly", "Sharon"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "The woman's clearly Half his age. They've known Each other two weeks.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "I believe that's a product.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm on my fourth wife And, uh-- Fifth.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Whoa. Ooh. [All chuckling]", "c": ["Larry", "Artie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "She's too pretty. She's too young. What is Hank doing With someone so normal?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Any woman would want To marry that. Me? Ah, you're right.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Yeah. Me neither.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Larry, we rarely Discuss our feelings, But I love you As much as that girl.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "I hope margaret and i Can be as happy As you and Francine. That is the most Cynical pile of bullshit That I have ever heard In my entire life.", "c": ["Hank", "Francine"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Your mother Said what? My lawyer. Your-- oh.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "[Whispers] If Hank could only See us like this.", "c": ["Larry", "Francine"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Danny devito? Nicholson. Oh, yeah. I can see that.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "My god. How could you Possibly know that? You should know by now I can see into your soul.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "The liebowitz bar mitzvah Is booked that week.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "May I remind you Of my old friend tiny tim? As I recall, That was a freak show. A highly rated one.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "You want high ratings? Let's do who shot Hank Kingsley?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Hank, three words-- Luke and laura.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Now, that is what I call great television.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "You didn't Like Jeannie? Why didn't you say-- The girl was bad news. Why didn't you Say something?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "I won't fire you. Tell me what you Think of Francine.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Please, no hookers. All right.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "We'll work our Way up to wild. All right. [Both] nuts.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "We should book her On the show, Artie. As a regular. As anything. As a sidekick!", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "You, sir, Are a sidekick's dream.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Never let 'em See you sweat. You can take that To the bank!", "c": ["Ed McMahon", "Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not Who you think I am. Thanks, mr. Brenner.", "c": ["Ed McMahon", "Fan"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm saving it For the wedding. Toast! Toast! Toast!", "c": ["Larry", "Everyone"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Yeah, but it's No golden horseshoe. Hell, no. I told them that.", "c": ["Ed McMahon", "Someone"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Jesus christ! You're all Starry-eyed now, And two months From now, You'll wake up At night And not know who The fuck she is.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Get a porsche The way everybody Else does. It won't cost you as much, I'm telling you... In the long run.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "I don't have Any fucking money. It's all in the restaurant.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Hey! No one Gets to be happy Except the great Larry Sanders.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Go fuck yourself.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Keith, let's get rid of these red gels. We're not marrying two McDonald's French fries.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "We're lighting Hank's bellybutton.", "c": ["Crew member"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Honesty is The worst policy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "So do i.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "That would be the lollipop guild Because he's not that tall.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "It's semi-formal, so you people At home have time to change.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Gavin MacLeod is standing by. / I won't be married by the Love Boat captain.", "c": ["Artie", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Gavin macleod Is standing by. I won't be married by The love boat captain.", "c": ["Artie", "Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "We don't need one. There are 10 million People watching. But can you Trust them?", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Today, the answer is... Margaret dolan And Hank Kingsley.", "c": ["Alex Trebek"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "[Scattered laughter]", "c": ["Audience"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "If you like This wedding, Maybe we can have ours On the show. What? I'm... Joking.", "c": ["Francine", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Remember when That awful hurricane Happened there, And don johnson And melanie griffith Got trapped?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Hey, tell vanna I said hi.", "c": ["Someone"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "I can't believe I read those vows. My career is over.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Don't make that sound. I've asked you nicely.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Wait till tomorrow, When you See those sweet, Sweet ratings. Yeah! Then you'll Get it.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Haven't I asked you Not to drink this much?", "c": ["Margaret"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Watch out, You big buffalo. He doesn't like To be kissed.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm not reading-- I'm not reading these again. Go. I'm not-- I only knew like.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "Meet my dad, Harold dolan. Hey, there, The pleasure is All yours! [Laughing] Just kidding.", "c": ["Margaret", "Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Hank's Wedding"}, {"t": "We're an hour away From show 1,457, Not that We keep count.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "You think we've Busted our balls Doing 1,400 shows So Larry can get laid? If mr. Sanders Wanted to fuck talent, He'd have been An agent.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "Put the nursing home group In the upper left corner. That's the studio's Warmest place.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "I can't. I-- i-- I'm married, liz. Oh, how is The little woman? Huh? Your wife?", "c": ["Artie", "Elizabeth Ashley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "What do you think Of a woman Who'd leave her home For three months To photograph zebras Humping? I think that Daddy's lonesome, too.", "c": ["Artie", "Elizabeth Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "We're leaning On Larry's suits. Do I look like I give a shit? Jump on back here, Little big man. Ever since you've Gone on slim-fast, I'm powerless.", "c": ["Artie", "Elizabeth Ashley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "Are you In your thoughts? No. I'm just Going over The cue cards.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "No, if you had a bug, I'd say, 'go like this.' Some hair's Sticking up. Oh, o.K. Nothing major.", "c": ["Larry", "Sid"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "No shit. Who's this key chain?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "I've never even seen hearts afire. Now, I'm involved in some Conversation about retooling-- Make a note.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "If it wasn't for me, This dog would be dead now. Look at this little face. This face Would be dead. Yeah, well, that Would be a tragedy. What would his fleas do?", "c": ["Darlene", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "Look at his neck. He's a flea hotel.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "I'm a little slow, Brain's broccoli, But, hey, no problem.", "c": ["Elizabeth Ashley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "Because my hands, Like my brains, Left to their Own devices, Get away from me And flap. Southern ladies Always hold something. Also, you never know When you'll get The vapors and faint.", "c": ["Elizabeth Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "Not really. Oh, that Blake edwards movie. What was that? skin deep. You know that Glow-in-the-dark Condom scene?", "c": ["Gene Siskel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "I know you're Basically a TV actor, But surely you know The difference Between a good movie And a bad movie, Having made both problem child 1 and 2.", "c": ["Gene Siskel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "How long ago was that? Five years ago? You remember it pretty well For an actor Who doesn't listen To critics.", "c": ["Gene Siskel", "John Ritter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "I mean, listen, I think you are a sugar pop, You are just cute as a button, But I need something Up here to grab ahold of. Right. Maybe we could Weld a handle Or something Up there.", "c": ["Elizabeth Ashley", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "This fucking maniac Attacked my client. These fucking people From chicago-- Hey-- This is all they know-- Punching and fists. Hey, cut the chicago crap. All you people from l.A. Know Is how to validate your parking.", "c": ["Adam Loderman", "Gene Siskel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "It's bad being On the show With him, But then I get assaulted By his fucking dog! I don't have A dog. Did he bite you in the face? No, he got between my legs, I tripped, I hit My face on the table.", "c": ["Adam Loderman", "Gene Siskel", "Artie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "I bet this shit doesn't even Happen on montel williams.", "c": ["Gene Siskel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "If you don't Shut the fuck up, I will kick you In the nuts so hard, Your dentist Will have to Work around them At your next cleaning. Ha! Just kidding.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "I thought It was ritter. Uh, no, john ritter Will be batting clean-up. By then the bases Will be loaded.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "Because Were I dating, I would look In the paper And take a woman To see free willy, And I'd nudge her When he comes heaving Out of the water-- See if she Gets the hint.", "c": ["Gene Siskel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "So you'll jerk off With the other hand For a few weeks.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "Every single show I do, I play it. It's driving me Fucking crazy. What about Your first album, french connection? the french inhaler?", "c": ["Warren Zevon", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "He shut his hand In the door? Yes. How did that happen? He put a hand up on a hinge And closed the door. Well, no, it sounded like It was this door right here. It was his thumb In the door.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "You're kidding. No. No. You're not kidding. Hank, stephen rea's Character... The woman he falls In love with. That dark-skinned cutie? Mm-hmm. She turns out To be a man. I don't think so.", "c": ["Gene Siskel", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "Hank, there's A shot in the film-- The camera pans Down the body, Right below the waist-- Yes? There's a penis. I don't think so.", "c": ["Gene Siskel", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "How was she hung?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "It's been years Since he's seen A movie Without The words 'busty' Or 'stewardess' In the title.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "Adam, they Fucking bumped me. Adam! Hey, buddy. Don't you talk to me. We're just trying To give you more time. Artie. What?", "c": ["John Ritter", "Adam Loderman", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "This is the last time I'm ever doing this show! The last time!", "c": ["John Ritter"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "I think I speak for everyone When I say I can't believe We get paid To do this.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "I've never understood Why you read this shit. Because it's an article About the show. Well, I'm sure it's Excellent publicity.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "This guy says ritter And gene siskel fought. A dog bit phil. You and phil Were wrestling. It says you And elizabeth ashley Were doing God-knows-what In the wardrobe Room.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "They come on a show, it's not Exciting enough for them, They make up this shit.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Off Camera"}, {"t": "Now that sign Says 'applesauce.' No, no. I'm kidding. It says 'applause.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "This is really very, very Close to a thrill for me.", "c": ["Martin Mull"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "I know how much This show means to Larry And what a stickler He is for quality. At least, to the extent That one can have any In television.", "c": ["Martin Mull"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "I've been burning the, Uh, bulb at both ends", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "That's not the question. What are you gonna Do this weekend?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Nothing really Aids digestion Quite like Centrifugal force.", "c": ["Martin Mull"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "You're A guest host, Guest being the, uh, Operative word here.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "You know what, I think This might fit Nicely up your ass.", "c": ["Martin Mull"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "They're reddish-brown, And they-- It completely, um-- It clashes with-- Clashes with The banquette.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "You put him in the genuine Article, and he locks", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "No friday night, No next night! No friday night, No next night!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Did I say Jerry van dyke? I mean joan van ark.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "All my celebrity friends-- And they're just sitting In all these booths, And I get to say To them, 'hey. Hey! This one's on me,' To some of them.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Larry's on vacation! He's not To be disturbed.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "No, actually I don't Live in the big house. I... I live back there in The guesthouse, you see. 'Cause I can't Afford the big house Because of the-- Yeah, is it that thing You're going through? Divorce.", "c": ["Burt Reynolds", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "What does it pay?", "c": ["Burt Reynolds"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "3 times, I heard. I've been divorced 4 times. 4 times? Yeah. Who gives a shit?", "c": ["Burt Reynolds", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "You do.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Course, If you're a smoker, You'd have to smoke And then stop And then light up Again when you came In your section.", "c": ["Burt Reynolds"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Like, uh, smokey and the bandit. That was a-- That was a great idea. And, uh, cannonball run. That was a-- That was a great idea. [Snobby voice] Ooh. Bravo.", "c": ["Burt Reynolds", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "It's beginning to smell Like a goddamn locker room.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Oh, boy, Another ego trip. Yeah. Give a guy A couple of car chases, And all of a sudden He thinks he's An incredible wit.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "My restaurant, At this moment, Has a very specific odor That is not conducive To the art Of fine dining...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "I don't think Anybody's gonna... Come to The grand opening. [Sobbing]", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Even my own wife Is not coming Because there's, You know, 'Sorry, honey, there's A death in the family,'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "You drink water, Arthur. You drink Through your ass!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "This fucking Electrical engineer! You know! This-- This-- this guy, He-- he comes in, He fills in at The last minute, And i-- I'm supposed to-- I'm supposed to think That this guy Knows fuck-all About anything!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Oh, shit, If I had a gun! If I had a gun, Artie!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "He's telling me About his troubles At the restaurant. But you're Not in there. He doesn't know that.", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "well, he's been in the men's room for an hour now... vomiting and weeping.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Instead of Saying 'hank's Look-around cafe,' It says 'Look-round cafe.'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Ah, that's ok. It is? Mm-hmm. You sure? 'Cause I could try To go out and buy an 'a.'", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Won't last forever.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "And it's called, uh-- Uh... [Whispering] [Scattered laughter]", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "I'm gonna take A long fuckin' walk. [Microphone thuds]", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Hey, is this How things usually Work around here? Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry Seinfeld", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "I wrote this, Uh, script For your show. Would this be a bad time To give it to you? Yeah! Yeah.", "c": ["Jerry Seinfeld", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "If this fucking booth Starts to rotate, I swear to god...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "I'm gonna shove it Up Hank's ass If he ever gets here, The son of a bitch.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "He's just weird. That's exactly What ours does.", "c": ["Jerry Seinfeld", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's 9:30 a.M. We looked for you All night, Hank. No!", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "Make it go back. Make it go back. Turn back the world.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "The Grand Opening"}, {"t": "That sign says, 'applesauce.' No. No. No, I'm kidding. It says, 'applause.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "and now, because he desperately needs your approval, Larry Sanders!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "The buyer came in During the evening And, uh, found only $20 in the register And passed.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "Her husband maury Has more credibility As far as I'm concerned.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "Welcome to the monkey house. Pass the penis, please. Am I right?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "Later i'll pass out Some transcripts So we can all Try to figure out What Hank meant At our leisure.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "When people lie, They tend to cover their mouths. I learned that From jack webb when I was on dragnet, 1970.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "What are you listed under, Hank or Kingsley? Or hey, now?", "c": ["Beverly", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "It was during The mid-eighties, And I was carrying Some excess weight. And I had a persistent Skin rash, And it was hard for me To get dates.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "A late-night news magazine Wrap-up of the day's events, But with a hip, Mtv sensibility.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "We can't make enough Of that shit.", "c": ["Dick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "I see what's wrong. You're drunk.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "Yes! Fuck that beer farm! We are out of here!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "I-- I live For this shit. It gets me all Hot and bothered.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "You didn't see us. You saw nothing. You heard nothing. It's not what It looks like.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "the new Larry Sanders show, afternightline. Unfortunately, That's the actual title They wanna use.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "Great idea for a sitcom.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "You ever see A scorsese film? Yeah. You know, Like goodfellas? Yeah.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "What if we shoot In new jersey? Even worse. They live there.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "Hey, butt-bongo. Bravo!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "You're a big fan? Hey, take your top off.", "c": ["Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "The door that's marked 'can.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "It's like she's Got something Shoved up her ass All the time. It's like she's On the perpetual rag.", "c": ["Howard"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "And I really think You should move The show to new york.", "c": ["Jancis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "I think It'd be really good for us To have some time apart.", "c": ["Jancis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "well, I can reveal, for the first time, ladies and gentlemen... Larry Sanders will be taking his show to new york", "c": ["Howard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "He's taking us To new york. What if he's not Taking all of us?", "c": ["Phil", "Darlene"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "For making me Look like a liar In front of The entire staff. It was A real pleasure.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "You got a huge ass. It's a huge, huge ass. That's why we sent for That new lens from sony, So we could Cover that huge ass.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "I have nightmares Of someone like you Coming through My window.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "You're not going to amount To jack squat! You're gonna end up Eatin' a steady diet Of government cheese And livin' in a van Down by the river!", "c": ["Chris Farley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "I flew all the way in From new york for this. You know?", "c": ["Chris Farley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "I knew it! It's new york!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "this is the final Larry Sanders show That you've watched tonight", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "The name's darlene, You fucking idiot.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "The name's darlene, You fucking idiot.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "You're a miserable fucker. A real miserable fucker.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "* Da da, da-da, da da * And now, because He made a big mistake... Larry Sanders.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "N.Y. or L.A."}, {"t": "He's wonderful. I mean, he's hung like a field mouse.", "c": ["Robin Williams"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "I mean, you pop the diaper and... boing! It's like a little sundial.", "c": ["Robin Williams"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Honey, what time is it? Get the baby. Get the baby. Look! It's 3:00! Oh, it's 2:30 now. It's real cold.", "c": ["Robin Williams"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "It is like kryptonite for... for the father. Even the dog looks at me like, 'you don't put his face in it.'", "c": ["Robin Williams"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "It's almost like I know that he's growing old because he's, like, he's 8 months and he has his own little credit card called 'fetal express.'", "c": ["Robin Williams"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "He's dialing up one of those '976-suckle,' you know? I'm waiting for you. I'm lactating. Call me.", "c": ["Robin Williams"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "I think I like the kryptonite suit. That's actually what it seems like.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "What is it, is it Japanese? It is. And what is this? This is sears, right? Yes, so they're both Japanese. OK.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "You hear that? That's my whippoorwill, Artie.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Oh, Larry, it's a magpie. They're scavengers, you know? They feed on road kill, dead meat. You know they carry rabies and lyme disease? You better not take a nap out on your porch. They'll peck your eyes out.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Still. Every day.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "You're like one of those goddamn creatures out of Greek mythology... half man, half desk.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Get off the porch, asshole.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Or we could say you had a drug problem. You had to hide out in montana till you dried out. I tell you, that's the only surefire way I know of avoiding embarrassment.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "That's pathetic. We should save that one for when I really have a drug problem, don't you think?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "I love these fuckers.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "They don't even give you those little towels, those little wet towels. I had to wipe my face with a pack of sweet'n low.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Man, I can't believe Leno actually hid in the closet so he could hear the whole network meeting. That's a sickness, to be so obsessed with what people are saying about you.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "I know. That is a sickness. What did people say about me not being mentioned much in the book?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "And by pesos I don't mean to imply that someone of hispanic descent is likely to win. Again.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "'Say now'? Say now. Well, he can't say 'hey, now.' That's the intellectual property of the Larry Sanders show.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "You really pulled the rug out from under me, Larry boy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "You had it on 'passenger window lock.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Is this what you call low profile? Two grown men sitting in a car full of smoke? Looks like a goddamn cheech and chong movie.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "A free scratcher ticket?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "They give me respect.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "I know, but I'm trying to keep this very low profile, darlene.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "But you never fired me. I didn't? No. Your business manager gives me a paycheck every week.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "So what have you been up to the last 3 months, Phil? Oh, jerking off. See you Monday.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "I need to hear you promise me that. (Larry says nothing)", "c": ["Arthur", "Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Oh, God. It's good to know I'll never have to pull another set of balls like that again.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "They should be cut out of here like cancer.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Larry walked, I put on back-to-back cheers reruns in the spot and they're doing rather well. Better then Leno as a matter of fact.", "c": ["Germain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "If you say you're gonna sue somebody, the least you can do is follow through and sue them.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Oh, please, don't tell me you and Larry are lovers.", "c": ["Germain"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Something about the dynamic?", "c": ["Germain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Well, that explains a lot... the mood swings, the attention disorder, the astonishing weight gain.", "c": ["Germain"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "He's as clean as Louie Anderson's dinner plate.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "I didn't hear it ring. Oh, it didn't. It's a new system. You see, there's a little flashing light here you can't see from where you're standing.", "c": ["Richard Germain", "Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Where's the gent's? Uh, right out the door, first crapper on the left.", "c": ["Germain", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "What'd he mean by astonishing weight gain?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Never mind that. What about the gay lovers thing?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "\u00a1vamanos! \u00a1andalay! \u00a1pronto!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "He hasn't changed.", "c": ["Bernadette Peters"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "I had a... ahem... an addiction to painkillers.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Yeah, she got that because that's how they're wearing it in prison.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "I actually saw a hooker dressed in a barney outfit. It was unbelievable. Now when barney sings, 'you love me, I love you,' it costs you 250 bucks.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Larry comes out and he tells the people that he was molested as a child. All right? Of course, I mean we have people who call your parents and we tell them we're just making it up.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "And every night, I say a prayer, thank the lord, Hank Kingsley's back!", "c": ["Bernadette Peters"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "Thank the lord, Hank Kingsley's back!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Montana"}, {"t": "That's shelley long.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "You know, I am prepared to publicly allege that Larry fondles my buttocks whenever I go in to pitch jokes.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Million, million and 5, depending upon if you can prove your buttocks is a source of income. Not since college.", "c": ["Other Writer", "First Writer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "No. Baywatch was renewed.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Well, thanks for lying through your teeth. I appreciate it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "His name guy? No. He's just a guy.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "I did not sleep with that woman from montana. No? No. Just checking.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, I get some on a nightly basis. I'm still excited about mimi rogers.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, that would explain the lobster. How's that? Maine. Lobster. I got it. You're working on a bit. I'll play along. Maine lobsters...", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Well, that usually happens on Tuesday mornings, doesn't it? That's why it threw you.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "I once had a woman, and, uh... do we have time for this? I don't think we need to get into the details of this. She followed me across 7 states.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Her name was Cindy halloran. Cindy halloran from pensacola, thank you very much.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "People are going to think I called her Cindy fuckpot or something. From the philadelphia fuckpots.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "OK, I happened to say the word cum. So what? In front of Jessica tandy. Oh, that crybaby. She's heard all this shit before.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "No, well, you don't become nude. He didn't take his clothes off. You become nude. I've heard that about you. No, I don't become... no. What you're thinking is that I'm very becoming nude.", "c": ["Larry", "Mimi"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Would you like a piece of gum? Oh, just half. Do you wanna go out sometime?", "c": ["Larry", "Mimi"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "You don't waste any time. Well, they're only on for 3\u00bd minutes, so I thought I'd get right to it.", "c": ["Mimi", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Boy, do I have a big surprise for you, Mr. Larry Sanders.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "This is not my cousin. I'm Mary Beth nagler from montana. I'm having Larry's baby.", "c": ["Larry", "Mary Beth"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Gimme the button.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Young lady, am I to understand you are blackmailing Mr. Sanders?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Move another inch toward Larry, and I'll take you down hard.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Wonderful, Hank. Are you insane? Yes, I think I'm insane.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Is she the only one, or did you run across some muslim extremist who'd like to meet Larry?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Otherwise, you end up with, what we call in our business a crap column.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "I was, uh, personally abused as a child. No, not sexually. Physically. I was beaten, and I was kicked. You know, that sort of thing. Well, who do you think did it? The other kids, that's who.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "What, you can't get pregnant from saying hello unless you say it to warren beatty.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Me and Tom snyder... shoving match right there in the thrifty parking lot. You're right. You're right, that didn't happen. Roseanne didn't marry her assistant, either. She gets to make up this stuff. Why the hell can't I?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "I'm on the one-phay.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Red wine gives me hives.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "I got a special thing for, uh, asian ladies.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "I got a special thing for, uh, asian ladies.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Normally, you can only see to whitney houston's house, but it must be very clear tonight.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "If that's Kevin costner, make sure that we pretend we were just looking at the moon, OK?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "I loved you in star wars. Oh. I think you're confusing me with Carrie Fisher.", "c": ["Mary Beth", "Mimi"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "So did I, by the way.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "She says, 'one large birthmark with 2 smaller ones above it at the base of the penis forming a mickey mouse head.' That is not my penis.", "c": ["Lloyd", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Jesus, Larry, she knows all about little mickey.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "No, she was one of the top people in the space program. Yeah, she was a waitress, Artie.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "She gave me a handjob in the parking lot at Denny's.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "There's nothing wrong with a handjob, Larry. In my day, I've had plenty of 'em in far worse places than a parking lot. I remember one time I was visiting St. Patrick's cathedral. It was a Thursday. There weren't many people in the pews in the back.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "There's nothing wrong with a handjob, Larry. In my day, I've had plenty of 'em in far worse places than a parking lot. I remember one time I was visiting St. Patrick's cathedral. It was a Thursday.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "I know the television industry has more than its share of pathetic types, but Kingsley has taken the prize.", "c": ["Howard Rosenberg via newspaper"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "I didn't say anything about Denny's. I think you did. No, I didn't, did I? Yeah, yeah. I heard Denny's.", "c": ["Larry", "Lloyd", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Hank, Cindy halloran from pensacola. I heard you mention me on the show.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Call security. Call security now.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "why don't I, uh... just come by, and we'll sit in the car, you know, and, uh... talk.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "You're Having My Baby"}, {"t": "Apple sauce. No, no, I'm kidding. It says applause.", "c": ["Warm-up Comedian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.92, "im": 3.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "And now because he needs you more than you need him, larryyyyyy... Sanders!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "you are an exceptionally hot crowd for the middle of the week.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "America's favorite couple, Tom and roseanne, have split up, but to prove that his career is not in trouble, Tom was recently seen dating tim allen.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "76% of college seniors are sexually active, but only 50% of college freshmen are. So I have one message to all of you young people out there... stay in school.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "You see the athletes preach that. You see the politician preach that. But only I, Larry Sanders, can say, 'stay in school. You may yet get laid.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Add to tonight's show a rudder and a sail, and it would have won America's cup. What is wrong with you? I thought it was more like the indy 500.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "No, there was 3 points from outside! Swish! Nothing but net.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Call Jason Alexander, and ask him if the... would you hold for a moment? Would you ask him if the laker tickets he has are floor seats? And don't let him know that I'm asking about it.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "He said it would help if you knew the name of the song or the artist. I just can't get it. I heard it on the radio. Well, sing it. It's a woman... \u266a dum dum dum \u266a \u266a nuum nuuum \u266a you sing it to him.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Someone is stealing money from my atm account. You got a doctor's prescription mixed up in here. What is this? 'Rectumin.' That sounds familiar. What's that for? For what it sounds like. That is for nasal congestion.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Who has access to your atm account? My business manager. And his assistant. My agent. Gardener and housekeeper. So... technically, your account is a big slush fund for the entire pacific rim.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Jason Alexander's seats are in the loge. The loge? Yes. In the loge. In the loge? The loge.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Call him and tell him that... that you're busy tomorrow night but thank you anyway.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "These are too pastel-ish. Well, you're the one who said peach. No, I said, uh, plum. Tch. No, you didn't say plum. I said plum. I heard... OK. Well, maybe you said plum, but you said peach.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Tennis elbow. This is my tennis elbow ointment, right? Yes. Good. I wasn't gonna ask.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, your father called. What does he want this time? I don't know. Well, would you handle it for me? Larry, sooner or later you're gonna have to talk to the man. No, I don't. I'm getting relief already.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "He's going out tonight, right? Yeah. Dinner with Carrie Fisher. Remind him to wipe the rectumin from his elbow.", "c": ["Beverly", "Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "You realize this is only the second time that you've paid us the honor of a visit. That doesn't seem possible. Is that right? It is, isn't it? Yeah. And I have the photo to prove it... july 12, 1991. I remember.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "I wouldn't know what to do if she left me. I couldn't brush my, uh... my teeth without her... literally.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "You're having money problems, huh? No. Just some of the numbers don't add up right. I don't need the details. Gimme the figure. 50,000. Damn it.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "You know... I'd like to do this, but I'm having... it's a little hard for me to swing right now. I'll tell you why. I'm having some plumbing problems down in the, uh... the look around cafe... and, um... just kidding. I don't need any money.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "I hope you're not badgering our Larry. He's a grown man, sweetie. If he doesn't want to talk to his daddy, he doesn't have to. Do you think I enjoy chasing him down, Artie?", "c": ["Artie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Well, when I came here, when I took this job, I came here under the assumption that I was to do his schedule and return his phone calls, not play family therapist and do his tie shopping and pick the tomatoes out of his salad.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Darling, the job is to keep our little host happy... whatever that takes. Well, sometimes I think it takes too much. And do you think it would kill him if he could just say thank you just once? I thank you from the bottom of my heart for Larry's ma'am.", "c": ["Artie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "I just kept calling you... Kramer out there. I'm... I'm sorry. No, that's all right. It's an easy mistake. It's just that I love the show so much, and I just keep getting you and your character mixed up. Yeah... ha ha ha. Well, th... that's weird, 'cause I... I play George on the show. Michael Richards plays Kramer.", "c": ["Hank", "Jason Alexander"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "He could have been calling you Elaine. That's what he called tim allen last week.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "We had these crappy loge seats, and ovitz calls me, and he's giving us front row seats right next to nicholson. Di-did you say Wednesday? Really? No, no, it's Thursday. Oh. You know what? You're free on Thursday. Good. Oh. I'm in.", "c": ["Jason Alexander", "Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "What do you want me to do, take him to dinner, get him hammered, couple of hookers? No, no. That would be overkill. Just be yourself.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Hey, Jerry! How the hell are ya? It's always a delight to greet my second favorite Mr. Sanders.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "I guess beverly didn't know I prefer the window. Yeah, well, that'll knock it out of you, dad.", "c": ["Larry's Father", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "When you got money from me the other day, you didn't give anybody my atm password, did you? No, but you gotta admit that l-a-r-r-y is pretty easy to guess.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "What, to Sanders? Hardy-har-har.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "You're his sidekick? Yes, sir. Second banana. You know, I like to think of myself as second in command. Here you go. Like Ed mcmahon. Exactly like Ed mcmahon. That's a pretty sweet deal. Take home a big paycheck just for holding down a couch and selling crap.", "c": ["Larry's Father", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "You know, for just a split second there, you reminded me of the old man himself. Henry Joseph Kingsley.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Beverly, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for handing Larry his undies. Larry thanks you, too. Don't you?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Your father's a big pain in the ass.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "I hate to agree with Hank, but I guess it's so. No matter what you do for my dad, I swear to God, there's never a thank you, like that would kill him.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "All I know is it's the most frustrating thing in the world trying to please someone who doesn't appreciate anything you do. That is exactly right.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "I know who stole your money.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "I know. I took it. You took it. Yes, I took it. If you wanted to know why, why didn't you ask me, and I would have told you.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Because 3 months ago, you had me drive to encino looking for a paint chip from your decorator. I spent 3 hours in traffic, Larry. That's 3 hours for a paint chip, so I charged you.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "It was on a Sunday, Larry! Yeah? So I charged you. And I charged you when you had me driving all over Los Angeles looking for peach-colored ties for you.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "And I charge you for picking up your frozen yogurt at 7 every morning so that you can have the first batch out of the machine. Every morning?", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "I'm tired of cleaning your ointment applicators.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "I am tired of begging your father to come see the show so that you can feel good about yourself. Did you ask my dad to come and see the show?", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "disgruntled postal workers say they need the extra revenue because of the rising cost of ammunition.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Well, if I spent 30 years selling office equipment, I'd be bitter about damn near everything.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "This was returned by sinead o'Connor, sent back, uh... pasta sent back because there was a hair in it. Sinead o'Connor. There was a hair in it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "everything I got comedy-wise I owe to you. You're a terrific man, and I love you very much.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "and just say to my... assistant beverly, who I know is watching... I hope is watching... is probably not watching... but thank you, beverly, for everything you've done. I appreciate it, and thank you very much.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "This is a plate licked clean by roseanne.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "He loved it. But he left. You're kidding. He had to catch an early plane to pittsburgh. He sends his love. Left right after the marilu henner segment.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Steve called, and he can't go. He's sick. So I asked Julia roberts to come along. Boing! Rah! See ya, kid.", "c": ["Jason Alexander"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "I wanted blueberry, and, uh, there's no pecans... but thanks.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "It's Leno now, right?", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Would You Do Me a Favor?"}, {"t": "Jason Alexander? Uh, only if we can't get Michael Richards or Jerry Seinfeld.", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Mary Lou retton? Marilu henner. Oh, thank God. The last thing we need is Larry on those uneven bars again.", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh! Good one, Artie. Oh, I liked their first album, but the second one was a disappointment.", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "They got the stain completely out. I can't believe it. Well, we'll use them as our regular dry cleaner from now on.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Are we ordering lunch? No, Hank. We're not. Oh, because I heard someone mention potatoes, and I... I can have those on my new diet.", "c": ["Hank", "Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Please do, because I only have the one shake in the morning.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "His agent said he wouldn't be feeling well tonight. Yeah, I've had that.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Well, perhaps the fact that we pay them scale and send 'em home with a piece of shit t-shirt and hat...", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "I really appreciate the effort that you put into your job each day.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Okay, what he said was: 'I really appreciate the effort you put into your job each day.' Ooh, girl, you are fucked.", "c": ["Paula", "Beverly"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "I don't think she's got the right personality. I think she's too... abrasive? No, it's, uh... brusque? No. Incapable of putting a performer at ease because she's has a basic contempt for the business.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "And screw you, you glorified 10%-taking butt boy.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "But it's in the shape of a hat? No, really, Larry, it's kind of embarrassing, because even the arsenio people gave out bathrobes with his big ol' triangle-shaped head on the back.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "even the arsenio people gave out bathrobes with his big ol' triangle-shaped head on the back", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Damn it, if this stage caves in, you won't need bathrobes. You'll need bodybags.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Well, evidently, we already give a bag.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Not if I kill myself before 5:30.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Or is there just my suit floating in space?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Well, you know, those are made to be seen, not to be worn. They're made to hang in your closet so when someone looks in there they say, 'oh, you've been on arsenio.'", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Milk chocolate necktie. He does. Well, those are probably meant to be eaten, not worn.", "c": ["Phil", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Is that suzanne pleshette? Phil, get out!", "c": ["Phil", "Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Although, you know, I'd feel a little awkward knowing that strangers were putting their lips on my head.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "War of the roses is one of Larry's favorite films. Did I mention that?", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "This is getting very sad. Do you have any shame at all?", "c": ["Danny DeVito"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "I'm like a dog that way. I just have a very bad feeling.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "No, that was Hank clearing his throat.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Because twice today, he said that I was doing a really good job. Oh... I didn't know he said it twice.", "c": ["Paula", "Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "You're digging a mighty deep hole over there. Good. Then I can jump in after I shoot myself in the head.", "c": ["Beverly", "Paula"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Just think of whatever you would ask a potato lady. And that's all there is to it? And put question marks at the end so Larry knows that they're questions.", "c": ["Paula", "Beverly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "And put question marks at the end so Larry knows that they're questions.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "He's putting my photo on the inner thigh. Oh, God damn it. Maybe you're right. Maybe it should be the outer thigh.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "I don't want to talk to the fucking potato lady.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Um, I think it's just tremendous what you're doing here for juvenile diabetes. And I don't know if you know this, but Larry has low-blood sugar. It's not the same. Is it? It's not the same.", "c": ["Paula", "DeVito"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Are you telling me that you can't walk 200 feet to plug your own movie? It'll be great exposure, and it'll prevent Larry from firing me. Please?", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Iook at this. The name of the horse... Larry's valentine. Jockey... Hank Espinoza. The trainer's name is Bill. Bill, just like the guy who writes for us. Phil. No, it's Bill. See...", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "The name of the horse... Larry's valentine. Jockey... Hank Espinoza. The trainer's name is Bill.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Guy robs a lady in the subway. The cops come to try to stop this guy. The criminal refuses to stop. They shoot the guy in the back. Paralyze the criminal. The criminal sues the transit system for $4.5 million... and he won the case. Now he's suing nike, 'cause he says if he had had better sneakers, he'd been able to run faster, and they never would have caught him.", "c": ["Jimmie Walker"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Where is he? He's in make-up. One more segment with the potato lady, and then Danny... I'm not doing a dumb segment with the potato lady.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "I got to tell you the truth. I'm torn but, uh... madison is who it looks like to me. I would take another guess if I were you.", "c": ["Larry", "Potato Lady"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "I never had the bad feeling worse than I do right now.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Late? I just decided 5 minutes ago to do the show. What do you mean late?", "c": ["DeVito"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Well, your booker, she said that you were going to fire her if... if I didn't, uh, show up. I don't want that on my conscious. She's troubled.", "c": ["DeVito"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "your booker, she said that you were going to fire her if... if I didn't, uh, show up. I don't want that on my conscious.", "c": ["Danny DeVito"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Now I look like one of those pussies who got under the desk.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Hot to trot. OK, I knew it. Breathe.", "c": ["Artie", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "if I'm gonna die, I want to die with my family, not with jimmie walker and the weirdo with the doughnuts. Potatoes? The potato lady? Whatever.", "c": ["DeVito"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "the jogging suit is just a wrapping, sir, inside, you'll find a lovely silver desk clock from tiffany. Silverplate? Solid silver, Mr. D. Swiss movement.", "c": ["Phil", "DeVito"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Potatoes? The potato lady? Whatever.", "c": ["Danny DeVito"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Oh, hell, yes. We could put your cock on it. As long as it's not the hour hand.", "c": ["Phil", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "You wouldn't believe that lengths I have to go to. The other week, when Tom hanks tried to back out, I had to cry and feign illness.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "muffin mania gifts. It's endless.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "Bob uecker, Shari Lewis, and the seashell man. And sting. Oh, have we got sting? You betcha. Great.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "The Gift Episode"}, {"t": "I pay a cabana boy to wheel me down to the beach every day on a stretcher like a coma patient.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Is that included in the package?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "It just seems like that's the kind of thing they'd ask me to do, that's all.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "There is a finite amount of videotape in the world.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Some shave creams are coconut-scented, so it's not funny.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Should I go talk to him? / I wouldn't talk to him at all. / Then you go talk to him.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "How could she not be available?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "I gave her her first orgasm.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Oh, well, then she's perfect.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Maybe he'll do pump it up. That's my favorite song. / I think he'd rather do something off the new album.", "c": ["Larry", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "So I thought I'd heard that song somewhere before. I had to bring it up.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Keep it down because he could be lurking out there. / He does that?", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Al 'harelip' hartman?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "And he drinks. / So do I. That's why I like him.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "How many things can he have up his ass at once?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "You folks came on a very rare night where you get to see me fuck up 3 jokes in a row. Don't take it for granted.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "What a shit crowd. What a shit, shit crowd.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "What are they doing, bringing these busloads in from the english-as-a-second-language program?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "I'm only smiling because the audience is looking at me, and I'm a professional.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Thank God. I thought it was something that might have to do with the show we're taping now.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Andal\u00e9, felipe. Vamanos.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "You'll only have to strip at the end of the show.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "News travels fast, doesn't it?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "You're cohosting with fucking superman.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Cohosting detracts from your essential specialness in the marketplace.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Who are you, kathie Lee all of a sudden?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "At the daily planet newspaper in metropolis.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "It's another pleat in your cape.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "You don't wanna be introduced as... superman. Do you?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "That makes no sense. / Of course it does. Sweetheart, it's the network.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "One person is a host. 2 or more are cohosts.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Rita to bring in the urbanites and the hairdressers", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "I mean actual hairdressers.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Yeah, they are a bunch of dickheads, aren't they?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Well, that doesn't seem that funny, either.", "c": ["Melanie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Chicken is funny in the context of a smell that goes on your face.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "stevie called me up, and he was crying to me, 'why haven't you given Larry this job? Why don't you ask him to host?' Wee wee wee wee wee.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "You should call the conan o'brien people, see if they need a producer for the farewell special.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "No wonder you been married so many times.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Save your Ivy-league double-talk for your chums down at the parliamentary debating society.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Why is everybody acting like a bunch of 4-year-olds at a fucking barney show?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Is that about a specific person or a pet?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "I don't think so.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Coconut. 2 'k' sounds followed by a nut.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Mr. Hal linden.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Don't gimme any more of that big fan shite.", "c": ["Elvis Costello"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Well, at least he was funny.", "c": ["Elvis Costello"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "This reminds me of the time angela lansbury was on.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Rule number one... never quit. Always make them fire you. That way, you get your money.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "I just pulled something. I just... right here.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "I don't think he dances.", "c": ["Rita Moreno"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "Mmm, tastes a little like coconut.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "People's Choice"}, {"t": "The next time one of you shows up wearing black sneakers instead of black dress shoes, you'll need 'em because I'll chase your delicate little butt right out into the street.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Because he thinks if you can see the colors, it's easier to pick the flavor.", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Thank god, because I've seen Larry vomit. It's not something you want to watch over and over again on Hard Copy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "You're right. Flop Howie and Louie, bump Saget from third to fourth, and make sure that Seinfeld knows that he's our first choice.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "When he says no, make sure that Richard Lewis thinks that he's our first choice, and so on down the list.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Oh, your mind amazes me! I'm just now comfortable with it myself.", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "80% unemployment in the acting ranks, you can't find me one name?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Well, there's some chimps at Live at 5 who might be available.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Paula, are you aware I'm about to open the lid of a box far nastier than Pandora's?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I'm not supposed to eat in my show clothes. I know. It's just...I get hungry.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "My psychic told me a man in my life was going to be given a great opportunity. I thought she meant my father was going to get a job, but--but this, this is good, too.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I can't move my legs. Whoop. Hip.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I'm doing some creative visualization, and I'm seeing the audience screaming with laughter. I'm seeing the same thing, Darlene. Thank you for explaining the screaming.", "c": ["Hank", "Darlene", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "And, uh, I want to eat some fruit. I don't know why... A pineapple.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Artie, my pal, Shadoe Stevens, he's 2 blocks away. Why don't we call him, have him do the warm-up and the intro? Shadoe is 2 blocks away. Did I say that already?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "It's just such a wonderful, tremendous vote of confidence. I want to thank you. Hank, believe me, I had no choice. I know. Thank you.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "My, god. Larry's sick? Yeah. Food poisoning. Didn't anybody tell you? No!", "c": ["Hank", "Sid"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I guess Artie did, but I was so nervous, and the shock and the excitement, uh...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "'Even though Larry couldn't be here tonight, I know he's comfortable. I have an american car. The trunk is quite spacious.' Flip it. No, that's it, Hank. What? That's the joke.", "c": ["Hank", "Sid"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "'Even though Larry couldn't be here tonight, I know he's comfortable. I have an american car, and I put him in the trunk, and I kidnapped him.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Actually, we're off the list--Hank. [Retching] Larry? Artie, it's Beverly. Larry's vomiting again. Can we get back to you?", "c": ["Artie", "Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I'm Phil, the best writer. Thanks for doing the show. No problem. There's been a little change.", "c": ["Phil", "George Wendt"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Who's gonna host? Uh...Hank. Hank? Well, that's cool. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.", "c": ["George Wendt", "Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I did Conan's first show, so... You have to remember. Yes, I do, and I forgive you.", "c": ["George Wendt", "Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Kings...Kingsley! Kings-leyyyy! Kind of a flaired-out riff. No. B-flat. Kings-ley! Kings-leyyyyy!", "c": ["Shadoe Stevens", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I'm just trying to pick out the right tie for the show. What about this one? You think that one? Oh, definitely. Ok. That's the one. You're the boss.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "And, uh, you know, I ordered some pineapple. Have you seen my pineapple?", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Don't make me do this. Ok? I just can't do this. I'm not... I'm not up to this. Don't make me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "What if I suck? Never! Yeah, what if I suck? After all this time, I finally get my chance, and what if I just suck?", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "What are you drinking? Red zinger and gin.", "c": ["Hank", "Paula"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I been in this business, man and boy, almost 40 years. I know things, Hank. Let me tell you one of the things I know. You do not suck!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Now, before we goes... Before we goes on...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Even though Larry wouldn't be... couldn't be here tonight, I know he's comfortable. I have an american car, and the trunk is quite spacious.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Tennis star Jennifer Capriati is in the drug rehab. I mean, is this really a surprise? I seem to remember people all the time saying she preferred playing on grass.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "He just got his first big laugh. Good for Hank. You don't understand. This is gonna go right to his head.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "You know, my father always told me to tell the truth, so if it isn't obvious, I'm really terrified. So you're probably not going to see a really great show tonight.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Go, Hank, go! [Chanting] Hank! Hank! Hank!", "c": ["Audience"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Hank, cards are a crutch. They're a crutch. There goes-- Thank you and good night. Hank, you don't need the cards.", "c": ["George Wendt", "Hank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I have to be honest. I thought we were going to have to warn people to watch this show through a pin hole and a piece of cardboard.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I have to be honest. I thought we were going to have to warn people to watch this show through a pin hole and a piece of cardboard.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Now I know why Larry is so puffed up.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Well, Artie, he's over that food poisoning, but last night, he ran into the bathroom, and he slipped and fell and hit his head on the john.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "It's serious enough to get those pain killers he's been after. Yay!", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "You sound a little surprised I did so well. Oh? I'm glad I'm not playing poker anytime soon.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "No. No, I book talent. I don't get coffee. Then could you book David Copperfield on the show, and when he gets here, have him pull a cup of coffee out of his ass?", "c": ["Paula", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but the procedure is the guest host gets to use Larry's office, right? Yes. The guest host, which you are not.", "c": ["Hank", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Because if I do, you know he'll give me the go-ahead to kick your balls right out through the top of your head! Oh, language!", "c": ["Beverly", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey, I saved your asses last night. This is the--the fucking gratitude I get?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "'Kingsley proved himself completely maladroit in the host's chair.' Hank, 'adroit' means 'able.' 'Mal' means 'bad' or 'not.' Put 'em together. Maladroit--not able. capisce?", "c": ["Artie", "Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Well, it's funny because last week, Larry and Arthur were talking, and one of them said that they thought the whole neurotic Jewish person thing that you do is, uh-- What'd he say? Predictably, uh, banal.", "c": ["Hank", "Richard Lewis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "The whole neurotic Jewish person thing that you do is, uh-- What'd he say? Predictably, uh, banal.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I'm sure Hank got on the phone with him. That crazy son of a bitch. I don't think Richard's that crazy. I think that's just an act. I meant Hank.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Last night he was a crying mess... Now he's the ass of the western world.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "'I think socks had something to do with that decision.' It's not funny. I beg your pardon? What word do you have trouble with? You understand 'not'? That's comfortable for you? And 'funny.' You've heard of that?", "c": ["Writer", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "What? What?! You've changed, Hank. There's a darkness around you. Good, fine. There's a darkness.", "c": ["Darlene", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I prayed. I mean, I actually got down on my knees, and I prayed that Larry would stay sick so I could host the show tonight. I mean, I wished this man unwell.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "See, that's interesting because I told our head writer that that was, you know, a little off, but he's such a hopeless retard that...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "You see, it's not Larry who is sick. It's me. Yes, it's me. I am very sick. I am a sicko. I'm so fucking sick. But I'm finally where I belong.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.54, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I'm sure socks had something to do with that decision. See, that's interesting because I told our head writer that that was, you know, a little off, but he's such a hopeless retard that...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "You suck! Take a seat.", "c": ["Audience member", "Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Hank. It really got away. It's down in Bolivia by now.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "You should send 3 baskets to Lionel Richie, one for each time you called him Little Richard.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "When you're vulnerable and humble, people like you. When you act like an asshole, people tend to think of you as an asshole.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "1--when you're sick that close to air, we'll cancel. 2--Hank's place is on the couch where he does his best work. And 3--always let Beverly go into that yogurt shop alone.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "I'll admit, I may have mishandled this affair, but everything turned out for the best.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "Hey, Artie? What's happenin'?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Hank's Night in the Sun"}, {"t": "The charges were immediately denied by denny's grand Imperial wizard.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Ex-wife lorena has offered to do the circumcision.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Barker denies the charges, saying he's been spayed and neutered since '89.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "You said you weren't coming last year, and you ended up winning the sack race.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Yeah. Well, you know, I'd do anything to win the sack race.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Couple of rats got caught in the mechanism.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "How long before I come back around?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "I'll cancel the ranch. And the rest of us can sit in a sensory deprivation tank and see who takes a shit first.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "You feel like you're sitting in the gift shop of the u.N.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "I believe it's so she can use the diamond lane.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "A thousand bucks says this means big trouble.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Make it an even 2,000. I've never been so turned on in my life. Oh, me neither. This is the easiest 2,500 I've ever made.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Oh, me neither. This is the easiest 2,500 I've ever made.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "It ain't dipped in gold. Like I'm supposed to know what that means.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not into interracial dating, 'cause it just, uh...Never works. I mean, sex is good, but in the morning, the cultural differences start to rear their ugly heads.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "I believe that cultural differences would happen with you and any woman.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Back off, jack.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Screw him. It's not like it's a dog or--", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "How about the time Tipper Gore complained about my breath? Because I think Larry was a little pissed about that. But my god. I-- I had an infection.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Did you guys fuck between the 9th and 10th floor?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Next week it'll be Bill Clinton and who else, Hillary?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Clinton is in deep trouble with whitewater. Remember the days when he was only in trouble with white women?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Clinton is in deep Trouble with whitewater. Remember the days when He was only in trouble With white women?", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Sadly, it turned out to be gene rayburn.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "With the olsen twins?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "I thought you said it made me look like Pat Benatar's shorter, fatter sister.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "No, I said 'cuter.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Should we keep saget? And he'd be like that. Like, should we get rid of cagney and lacey? He'd be like that.", "c": ["Bob Saget"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Now I'm doubly screwed because I went a whole month without having an orgasm. Well, guess what. So did i. Well, that's the point, right?", "c": ["Darlene", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "You and paula are not best friends. You're girls.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "You and paula are Not best friends. You're girls.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "I could never leave Hank.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Next? Ahem!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["running_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Twice in one day is two times too many.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "It's got A flashlight, Compass, stopwatch. I can do anything With this.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "She's not a thinker. The blond hair? Big breasts?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "You should have kept jerry and fired phil for being a lying prick.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "I will sue the Show. I want you To know that.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "You'll be getting the bill from the browning dealer for this sweetheart. 5 grand. I'll pay the extra grand.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Load it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Well, I thought we agreed that our evening of bliss was an event best not repeated.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Well, you picked a fine Time to tell me this.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "And it was 3 evenings.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "I want my money back.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Office Romance"}, {"t": "Good morning, Sir lawrence. Morning. Bran with raisins, sire.", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Assistant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Just a little dinner With the president Of the united states. Ooh! That's both Hoity and toity.", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Just, uh, tell her I'm in big bear for the next couple Weeks, ok? Larry, if I use That big bear excuse, She's going to know that You're blowing her off.", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "I'm not blowing anyone. Not till next week at The big network meeting. Yeah, when i'll be Blowing everyone.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Oh, Beverly, we're Just boys talk. What the fuck?", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "The grand high-exalted Pussy master here might.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Guess whose not getting Any pussy at home.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "How would you like it If I talked about pussy, huh? Pussy, pussy, I'm gonna Go get me some pussy. How would you like that?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Well, when you say it that way, It takes the shine off it.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Get some of that Drive-through pussy.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "I wonder if She looks this sexy In real life, 'Cause I know I don't.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Oh, that is not the case. I often come down To say hello to the guests Just as a common courtesy, You know?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "You know, If you're going To try something new, You should tell people. You scared the shit Out of me.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "We were like locusts. We'd get together Every 7 years and destroy everything For miles And then Split apart again.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Larry, You read the article In people magazine, didn't you? What article?", "c": ["Sharon Stone", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Just know that Things in this life Happen for a reason. Remember that When we fire you.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "vous etes tr\u00e8s gentil.", "c": ["Sharon Stone"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "You know, If you married Oliver stone, You'd be sharon stone. Sharon stone.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "I'd love to talk To that guy, 'cause I think my mother Had something To do with the kennedy Assassination.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "the courtship blank eddie's father. I was up half the night. \"Of.\" The word was \"of.\" Oh, was it \"of\"? Damn it. I put \"and.\"", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Denis"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Excuse me. You just made Me think of something. Uh, Beverly? Would you do me A favor and see If we've heard from The cadillac dealership yet?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "There's an emergency. Uh, something fell On bobby on the stage. Oh, my god. The emergency. I have to go.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Hey, Larry, I heard \"cadillac,\" But there was A bottleneck in The kitchenette.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "So, um, what did, uh, What did she eat?", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Heat always passes From a hotter body To a cooler body And never The other way around.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "There are some kids In my neighborhood. Who gives a shit?", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "You have kids? There are some kids In my neighborhood. Who gives a shit?", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Norman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "No, she's More famous than you. What? She's more famous Than you are. She's what? More famous.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "If you're in A show business relationship, And the woman's More famous than you are, She's the one with the dick.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "I can show you a list Of women this long That aren't famous That I haven't been able To get it up with.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "I know that never In this lifetime Will I enjoy The act of lovemaking With someone Of sharon stone's caliber. I know this, And I accept this. I'm so fat.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Some of god's bounty That he has obviously Seen fit to bestow on you. You sound like you're Quoting scripture now.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Some of god's bounty That he has obviously Seen fit to bestow on you. You sound like you're Quoting scripture now.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Did you hear? Larry is banging Sharon stone. You shut the fuck up.", "c": ["Background character", "Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Man: how's sharon?!", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "The next time you bring Your father to the show, You tell him to keep His mouth shut, all right?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "I don't think His depilatory problems Are my concern.", "c": ["Sharon Stone"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "\u266a Many a tear has to fall \u266a \u266a But it's all \u266a", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "I was on The wrestling team In high school, And I can break Any of your holds. Yeah, well I know. I've seen your movies.", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Sharon Stone"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "You're at table 1? Mm-hmm. 1 what? Table 1. Who are you Sitting with? Bill and hillary. Oh, them.", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Sharon Stone"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Table 1? [Sighs]", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Are you actually telling me You couldn't get an erection Until you turned Your own goddamn show on?", "c": ["Sharon Stone"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "If you're in A show business relationship, And the woman's More famous than you are, She's the one with the dick.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "I can show you a list Of women this long That aren't famous That I haven't been able To get it up with. That came out wrong.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "See, canyon ranch Is the female Equivalent To big bear. She's blowing Me off.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Larry, do you know I had this same Exact conversation With both your ex-wives?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Sharon really Likes Larry, But she feels She needs to be involved With somebody outside Of show business. Somebody who can Nurture her.", "c": ["Diane"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Boy, does he Crave attention. Yeah. He's taking it Badly, though.", "c": ["Artie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "I vote for a nurse. They can get You drugs, And those girls Really know How to swing.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "She's not more famous Than I am, is she? No!", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Table 2.", "c": ["Julianne Phillips"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "The Mr. Sharon Stone Show"}, {"t": "Applesauce. No, no. L... I'm kidding. It says 'applause.'", "c": ["Warm-up Comedian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Celebrity caning victim Michael fay... what... what are you giggling at? Every time a guy gets smacked in the ass you laugh?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Something we all have what left over from when we got beaten as a child, I believe.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "I can assure you that is a long flight, especially, uh, when you have to stand the whole way.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "That's... and frankly, I thought that was just common courtesy to shake hands with someone who's seen your butt.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "You know. Whi... which reminds me. Nice to see you. Woo!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Well, another misguided, uh, Gray whale has turned up in Santa Monica bay, uh, recently. It was chased all the way through the L.A. River and right, uh, ultimately into o.j. Simpson's driveway.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Please send all resumes to my producer Artie, and no sense of humor is required.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Tom freeley... Tom freeley wouldn't know a joke if it drove at him and tried to park in the crack of his ass.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "If she had a fondness for malt liquor, your niece could be my father-in-law.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "A little late with Larry's melon, huh, beverly? Oh, well, I had to go and get a new one first, Arthur. I mean, I had it already cut up into little chunks the way he always likes it. Then he came in today, said he wanted it bald. I'd do it, except I'm already dating someone.", "c": ["Artie", "Beverly", "Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "If you're talking about balding Larry's melon, forget it, Phil. I didn't laugh the first time.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Well, I charmed his ass. I told him roxanne was my favorite movie. I inquired about his play... in other words, you promised to blow him? Ho ho ho, Phil, you know all my little tricks, don't you?", "c": ["Paula", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Well, it means, Phil, that you're a snide little prick. Not that we don't love that about you, but what we're looking for in a head writer is more experience, someone who is more of a people person.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "That's true. In the last 2 minutes alone, you offered to fuck Larry's melon and you accused Paula of promising to orally service a distinguished guest. Let's face it, son, you're a born diplomat.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Unless they found out who killed Bob eubanks' tree.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Well, you got me. And I want to apologize. I just... um, it's about the, uh, handicap parking plates, is that right?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "I mean, I suspected some marijuana. You know, sure, you know, what we used to call wacky tobacky. Well, I still call it that... wacky weed.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "You know, I mean, pot smoking, I don't mind. The kids, you know, to get the munchies... hot wing sales go right through the roof. It's when these kids get on God-knows-what, you know, they eat like little birds.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "I mean, what... what... what if one of these poor kids, you know, gets on, uh, you know, some bad stuff? No one likes to eat at a restaurant where someone has died as a rule.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "These are all gonna look like he's talking, I'm telling ya.", "c": ["Albert"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "He gave it a great deal of thought. He feels it's the right way to go. Unbelievable. Thanks, Mike.", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Just stay away from your usual attire, that's all. Hell, you look like you're a member of peanuts gang. Linus with goatee.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, little big man. Steve Martin's not doing this sketch. He's just paneling. Well, that may have been the case, but, uh, I'd like you to send it to him.", "c": ["Paula", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Oh, goody! That means you'll be gone in a month.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "What is this? Youth. Heh heh.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Are you insane? What? What are you thinking you're doing in here? I came prepared. You said that these meetings are very important. Yes, they are. All the more reason to shut the fuck up.", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "'Not feasible at this juncture?' Phil, did that sentence come with the suit or did you have to buy it separately?", "c": ["Writer", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Yeah, he got the fax, and he's got some problems. He thinks you're making fun of mute people. It is a takeoff on the piano. It does not work without a mute.", "c": ["Paula", "Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Well, thanks for your help, bitch. Oh, that'd be so much hotter if you were wearing your tie.", "c": ["Phil", "Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Larry drives through the canyons every day at 4:00 to unwind before the show. Then why did he agree to these meetings? When he agreed to meet with you, this is what he meant", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Car phones don't work in the canyons. Bingo. Got it?", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Do you need an actual piano or can you use one of those casio keyboards? I need an ornate grand piano. Good. You aim for the grand. When you get the casio, be thrilled.", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Arthur, do you remember the bosnian sheepdog joke? Mike wrote that. It got a huge applause break. I'm sure he'll always cherish that moment.", "c": ["Phil", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Guys, I'm trying to finish this, OK? That's what you should do. Just tell Larry he has to use some of the jokes from last week, 'cause that was funny stuff, Phil.", "c": ["Phil", "Writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Fine. Okay, but I can jerk off anywhere.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Go fuck yourself. Do my job? You do it, asswipe. You get on the phone and find a last-minute replacement for Steve Martin, someone willing to do a hack's sketch about the piano, which, by the way, is 6 months too late. Nice topical meter, dipshit.", "c": ["Paula", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "I'm Dr. Wagner, and I want you both to know that, uh, I've been a marriage counselor for 10 years. And just by the fact that you're here now proves to me that you'd like to save your relationship.", "c": ["Larry as Dr. Wagner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Don't look at her. She's a mute. We've been married for 2 years.", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Did you see the piano? Yes, I did, and I thought that you, uh, got along very well in that, if I may say. Oh, we did, but then she plays the same song over and over. At this point, chopsticks would be a thrill.", "c": ["Larry as Dr. Wagner", "Guest"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Now, am I thinking of something else? But it seems to me in the piano, she started to learn to speak at the end. Oh, typical Hollywood ending. In reality, she's still a mute.", "c": ["Larry as Dr. Wagner", "Guest"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Why don't you go screw yourself? Now... oh, oh, my God. You're an amazing therapist. This is the first time she's spoken.", "c": ["Mute Wife", "Guest", "Larry as Dr. Wagner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "You know, you use me. You take me for granted. And... and what's with the marks on the face? I mean, let's talk... they're genuine maori tattoos, that's what they are. Eh, maori this, will you please?", "c": ["Mute Wife", "Guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "I can make her stop. That'll cost you an extra $1500. Can you see me at 5:00 next Tuesday? I can work you in between the rain man and the guy from my left foot.", "c": ["Larry as Dr. Wagner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "You want Paula fired? Yes, and I want to watch while you do it.", "c": ["Phil", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "These have been the worst 4 days of my life. I have no more friends here, I'm the only one who does any of the work, and at the end of the day, all I can think about is how I have to come back here and do it all over again tomorrow. It's a nightmare.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Lot more fun being the snotty little dork, wasn't it? Congratulations, son. You're the head writer. But I don't want the job. That's too damn bad.", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "You're making 6500 bucks a week, sweetie. Doesn't that soften the blows a bit? 6500... no, no, no. I'm only making 37,500. Oh, damn it! There's been a horrible mistake. Jesus, I have to fix that right away.", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Listen, I'm also having a problem with kelly the prop girl. I'd like to replace her. Oh, sure. What the hell.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Headwriter Phil"}, {"t": "Set his furniture on fire? Oh, no, don't set that on fire.", "c": ["Larry", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "That bobcat has got serious mental problems. / Paula, don't say 'balls.' Men find that off-putting. / Don't say 'tip.'", "c": ["Paula", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "They're whores. Whores. Whores.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "if I wanted to see furniture destroyed or our set ablaze, I'd go over to Jimmy Caan's place", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I get the spring right up my ass", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.29, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "My ass is my fortune", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Hey, now. / It's the same as its always been. / No, no, I don't think so... hey, now!", "c": ["Hank", "Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Look out! Who's that big stud in the mustache? Uh-oh! Hey! Uh-oh!", "c": ["Regis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "the wife's been on my ass a little bit about the snacks. I put the crackers out in the garage, and something got into that box and built a nest", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I'm the luckiest man in show business, or, uh... everyone says so. I have to agree.", "c": ["Regis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "What would say? / I'd say that's great! That's great! Well, who's the lucky cable channel? / No! No cable, no, no. Network.", "c": ["Regis", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Get outta here, Regis Philbin", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Wow. Well, that is, uh... that is, um... that's an honor. I'm, um... I'm honored and I'm deeply... I'm honored.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "My wife Margaret. She gets mad when I'm... I'm late. She doesn't get mad, she gets, uh, upset... concerned!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Call Margaret! Tell her I'm 2 to 4 minutes late!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I actually burned my ass. I got a couple welts on it from it.", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I don't want to toot my own horn, but I was pretty proud that I could actually get a couple jokes off while this was going on", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I just love your clown movie. I'm just a sucker for drunk clowns.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "don't get near my fucking plants. They're my babies.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Jesus Christ. Ho! \u266a it is Sidney, it is Sidney \u266a", "c": ["Hank", "Sid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "You are... you are my mother? / All right, I'm your mother.", "c": ["Hank", "Sid"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Live with Hank and Kathie Lee", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Hank-eleh. Chach-keleh. This is not a smart move.", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "The last time I had lunch with my wife I ended up redoing the living room in a pattern that I'm not allowed to sit down on", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Just a mild concussion. Don't worry yourself. Please?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "not enough oxygen to the brain as a fetus, that's my first guess. / That would be mine.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "What happened? / He married her.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Well, I'd like to know what we're talking about before I do that. / Don't worry about it. Take a chair. Just a man-to-man chat.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "You got some action, huh? You finally bagged that chick at NBC, right?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "People always have told me everything all my life. I can't help that.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "If I was pussy-whipped, you'd be talking to me the way I'm talking to you now.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "She looks at you like she's got X-ray vision. Gives me the creeps.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "that is a severe astigmatism, OK?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I can't allow her to lift her skirt for every other show that comes along!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I quit.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "You do not apply the term 'pussy whipped' to Hank Kingsley. No? No. He has never been, nor never will be whipped by anything let alone a pussy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Margaret called. She says it's urgent. / See that? Yeah, I'm really pussy whipped. She call from home or the car? / Home. / Yeah, like I give a shit.", "c": ["Assistant", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.69, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Ask me about my lady again.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Guy's a fucking wing nut.", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "where you locked her in the trunk of a Camaro, as she puts it, 'for laughs.' / No. What? Oh, no, no, no, no. That's Cathy Lee Crosby.", "c": ["Sid", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh, shit. Oh, shit! Shit!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have an ipecac in a coffee mug... that's the stuff that induces vomiting. So the first time I hear 'Cody,' I'm take a big fucking swig off it, and then boom! I'm just gonna projectile-vomit all over Kathie Lee.", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Your fly's open. / Thank you. / Don't mention it. Part of my job. / Looking at my crotch? / I consider it a perk.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Your fly's open. / Thank you. / Don't mention it. Part of my job. / Looking at my crotch? / I consider it a perk.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "You are cold, baby.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Well, good luck getting that plane. You know, there are not many that go to New York.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I raised it from a mere nut. / Oh, yeah? Those come from nuts, huh? / From a... a small nut. / Unlike your date palms. They come from dates.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Fall, '97. / What'd you say? / Fall, '97.", "c": ["Regis", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Does Joyce ever give you career advice? / No, no. Never.", "c": ["Hank", "Regis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Jesus Christ, Hank! Oh, my baby!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Dance for us, monkey boy! Dance! Aah!", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "One minute I'm standing behind the curtain eating a mint, the next thing I know, I got a cardboard mountain up my ass.", "c": ["Elderly stagehand"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Eddie Cantor was funny. If I didn't have arthritis, I'd knock you right on your ass.", "c": ["Elderly stagehand"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Eddie Cantor was funny. If I didn't have arthritis, I'd knock you right on your ass.", "c": ["Elderly stagehand"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I wouldn't do it if it wasn't televised.", "c": ["Bobcat"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm a fucking mess. My marriage... my marriage is, uh... my life... my life is a fuckin' mess...", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "This is fine. / What do you mean it's fine? You mean I can stay? / Yeah. Stay? Really? / Yeah. See you tomorrow? / See you tomorrow.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I called the fucker in your office here. And I told him he was pussy-whipped and he better get... / OK, fine, fine, fine. As long as you handled it. I handled it. I don't really need to know.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "I called the fucker in your office here. And I told him he was pussy-whipped and he better get... / OK, fine, fine, fine. As long as you handled it. I handled it. I don't really need to know.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "But I'd tell Kathie Lee to stay about 10 feet back, OK? That's a little tip.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Like No Business I Know"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Mr. Jon lovitz. Again.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "First it was just flowers. Then it was flowers and, um... a dottie west cd. Then it was flowers and a hummel figurine. Then it was flowers and a pasta machine.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "I think it's courageous for one man to send flowers to another man. I'm gonna put these right on the air conditioner.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Well, you just ask Paula to book him 2 more times. What would that do? Well, nothing, but by then you'd have flowers and a miata.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Well, 14 if you count the time we got bumped by desert storm.", "c": ["Jon"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Fucking saddam hussein.", "c": ["Jon"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Have you seen city slickers 2? No. Well, then, put it up.", "c": ["Jon", "Driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "You're just mad because the only bracelets you have are made out of shoelaces.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "No more comics, actors, or magicians.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Magicians?", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "I'm just... I'm nutty about irises.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Nine innings of me listening to Hank whine about his marriage bullshit.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Took you a long time to figure out what I was getting at didn't it. You had a big lunch today?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "I'm still getting a lot of use out of that pasta machine. Because there's nothing better than fresh pasta.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "I'm afraid poncho is no longer with us. Did he... no, he was eaten by my neighbor's rottweiler.", "c": ["Bird Lady"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Oh, well, life goes on.", "c": ["Bird Lady"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "I don't care if my face swells up like a pumpkin. There's no way we're gonna miss that game tonight.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Game them! He took them. He's the fucking boss. My hands were tied.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Oh, it's not about the game. I just wanted to have some special time... ohh, what's the matter, sugar, huh?", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Oh, you're telling me. I've been married 5 times. They were all the fucking birds.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "I was in a league of their own, city slickers 2, north, trapped in paradise.", "c": ["Jon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Because you got me. Tsk! We have a lot of great guests.", "c": ["Jon", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Uh, no, no. Bruno. It's a union thing.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Aw, you forgot Mr. Hunk. No, I was gonna get to that, but to me, that comes after movie star.", "c": ["Jon", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "she, uh... she prefers women. Oh, that's bullshit. No, she's, uh... she's a lesbian, Jon.", "c": ["Hank", "Jon"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "So, uh... you're a lesbian.", "c": ["Jon"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "She's like a terrier after a rat.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Like you've never been with a woman? Like you've never been with a man?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "There's this girl in your office I got a crush on. Darlene. Yeah. Well, how did... did she tell you? It's always darlene.", "c": ["Jon", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "That would be called sexual harassment. Oh, come on! 'blow me.' That's sexual harassment.", "c": ["Larry", "Jon"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Does my ass look fat in these pants?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "A lot of women find me dreamy. You are dreamy.", "c": ["Jon", "Darlene"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "why would you want to go out with somebody that's famous and rich and handsome and can give you the life you always dreamed of and can make you laugh all the time? Yeah, pass.", "c": ["Jon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh! It's true!", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Thank God you weren't in here a few minutes ago when I was painting my balls.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "God, my ass looks fat in these pants.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Well, unless Mr. Sagan comes out and shits a string of pearls, we have no show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "she's got an eating disorder. Yeah, serious. He was gonna find out eventually.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Not like this. Emma samms. We agreed we weren't gonna discuss that. You turned on her alarm system.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "I'm a lot my character in city slickers 2. I'm very open, and I'm very honest. Very honest. That why it was so easy for me to play.", "c": ["Jon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Guys, guys, and nothing but guys. That's our darlene in a nutshell.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "Can you imagine darlene with another woman?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Larry Loses a Friend"}, {"t": "No, I'm just starting to realize I have about 6 months to live.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "I dragged joel grey about 20 yards before I realized he'd fallen down... talented man. Father of actress Jennifer grey.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Charity begins at home, except in Hollywood where it begins at 7 pm every night in every fucking hotel ballroom in town.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "This is about my personal beliefs, not money.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "What, are they kidding? No, that's what it says. Cheapskates. All right, call them. Tell them maybe if they send a helicopter. Otherwise, no dice.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "5 years. Come on, guys. Where's the cure?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Yes! Firm date, get it! Puerto Rico!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Oh, right, uh... nothing contagious.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "I should take a look at his thumb. Did they do a nice job? Fan-fucking-tastic.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "No, I mean about the cake.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Good! And your hair's the same color as last week. That's good. Thank you.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "You know, that happens to creative geniuses, to all except my good friend professor Irwin corey.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "You'll be able to tell there's no head on the horse.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "driving your new cat down the Santa Monica freeway.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "My balls are killing me.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "There goes Mr. Reiner. I can see roberino disappearing into the clouds right now.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "One hand washes the other. Scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. You know, tit for tat. Done with your metaphors? Mas o menos, hombre.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Who are you, big Chief lenscrafters?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Too much. It looks like one of those stage productions of cats.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "That says 'applesauce.' No, it says 'applause.'", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "When he sits around the house... A winnebago without drapes.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "And tell them I have some nerve deafness. Hank, that's so sad. I really don't have nerve deafness. I know. That's what's so sad.", "c": ["Hank", "Beverly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Boy, finally some good news for Michael Jackson.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Is it last january already? No. It sounds like it from that joke.", "c": ["Artie", "Writer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "How cinematic! I can almost see him falling.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "And people wonder why I'm a cynical asshole. No, they don't.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "You guys rousted me out of bed because Pauly Shore wasn't available?", "c": ["Belzer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "I don't like kiwi. Oh, sayib, I should have known! We've got a mango flying in, chop-chop.", "c": ["Belzer", "Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Did you know that spinal tap was mostly improvised? Did you know that? Really? And what do you think I'm doing now? I'm making this up.", "c": ["Larry", "Belzer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "You'll have security stop me on the way out? Just don't take the ones with the pictures. Your picture? Yeah. Don't worry about it. I'll get you another.", "c": ["Belzer", "Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "I think that every time I watch that America's funniest people. That just about breaks your spirit.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "I'll rub his face in it, Artie. You know that? I'll look like the bigger man, make him feel like shit.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "A few good men... want a good courtroom movie? Caine mutiny. Yeah, bogey with the steel balls.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "The world makes me sad. What the... what? Sad.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Let's say, for the sake of my argument, that they get that.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "How many people... famous people... went number 2 tonight? You don't have to tell me. I'm just kidding.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Larry, do you honestly think I would cancel at the last second without a legitimate excuse?", "c": ["Rob Reiner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "I am uncomfortable discussing size in the bathroom, you know what I mean?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Toilet paper is always very funny to everyone except the French. I don't think those bidets are sanitary at all, do you?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "I don't think that I told him I was there to rub his face in it and make him feel like shit, so I don't feel completely, totally truthful.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Let me tell you something. That's what ruined my second marriage. I told the truth. I found it to be disastrous.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "You can't handle the truth. This. It isn't funny. This is hilarious. Ha ha. See?", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Maybe you can get that woman from the zoo and she can bring an animal to shit on me.", "c": ["Rob Reiner"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Rob? Mr. Reiner won't be joining us this evening. He just canceled.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Of course, I anticipated your inability to keep your mouth shut. So I arranged a backup.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "I actually do more improvising in the movie than I do here.", "c": ["Pauly Shore"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "When will you book me again? When another big, huge guest cancels? Maybe within the month.", "c": ["Pauly Shore", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "They offered you 10 grand? Yeah. Beverly.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank", "Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "Doubt of the Benefit"}, {"t": "Because you can't spell 'Hilarious' without 'lar,' Larry...Sanders!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "I just bought that line from Wayne Newton. I got that, and I got 'Screw the casino, we're going all night.' And I got, 'ok.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "Haiti? Uh, where's that? / Well...That is right next to the Dominican Republic. / Oh, right, right. I knew that. That's a great shop, you know.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "I bought a safari jacket there once. / I believe you're thinking of the Banana Republic. / Oh! Yeah. That's right.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "You know, if Hank was Secretary of Defense, we'd be invading the Beverly Center right now.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "You didn't think Margaret and I would last a year, did you? Be honest. / Not true. Not true. / I remember what you said. 'Hank, it won't last a year.' / Well, that sounds like me.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "No, nonsense, this is how I've always dreamt of it. Hank, Larry, my wife. Please.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "A pekingese, but they don't swim. I think they just sink like a bowling ball, don't they?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "I do not know how much more of this I can take. / Well, we can talk about current events or sports or-- / No, no, no, I mean Hank.", "c": ["Larry", "Margaret"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "Please, let's not show the chimp attacking my balls again. I mean, come on. / But people love that. / No. You're projecting.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "The parrot, uh, attacking my balls? / Yes. Pass.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "The pie eating scene, it has no precursor in talk show history.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "You never know what might happen, but it'll probably involve my nuts.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "You guys have a lot of yuk-em-ups in there, huh? You have some good laughs?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "My marriage is one big joke to you, isn't it? / That is not the case. / Come here, Hank. Come on, sweetheart. Listen, I know you're going through a tough time now, you know? Believe me, I've been there. / Well, I'm not there. I don't know where there is.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "It's not a therapist, darling. It's my divorce lawyer. He's done a lot of bulk work for me.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "A man's sexual peak is at 18. You know, scientists have proven this, but, hey, I think I hang in there pretty good for a 38-year-old guy, you know. / Hank, that is not the problem. / I know it isn't! And, besides, you are 48.", "c": ["Hank", "Margaret"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "What--what's a 2-minute warning? / A 2-minute warning is when either party just separates for 2 minutes before either one says or does something that they're just gonna regret later, ok? 2 minutes. / Hmm, and which one of your bimbo ex-girlfriends taught you that?", "c": ["Hank", "Larry", "Margaret"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "Are you fucking my wife? / What? / Just answer the question. You--you're fucking Margaret, aren't you? / No, I'm fucking Larry.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "See, at first I just chalked it up to female problems. / Mm-hmm. She having trouble with her-- The, uh-- / Oh, no. No, not that. I mean, on the other hand, how would I know? I haven't been down there in months. She could have grown a dick over the summer. I wouldn't have a clue.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "Yes, yes, we're in show business, but I know in my heart of hearts you would never fuck my wife. / Not without your go-ahead. / Exactly.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "Your entire life revolves around Larry. Your mood depends on what Larry said or what Larry did. / I think this is that crazy therapist. / No. If Larry was mean to you, then you're miserable, but if Larry was nice, then you're the happiest man on earth.", "c": ["Margaret", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "Remember when you forgot my birthday? Have you ever forgotten Larry's birthday? / Well, now, there's a reason for that, because Larry's birthday is just easy to remember. It's December 19th. It just rolls right out, you know, whereas, uh, your birthday is--", "c": ["Margaret", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "I got it! I got it! I'm coming!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "You should have married Larry. / Aw, don't do this. / Good-bye. Don't do this.", "c": ["Margaret", "Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "If you're looking for a place to live when she gets the house, it's no problem, buddy. Here's a brochure for the Oakwood Apartments. It's fully furnished, dishes in the kitchen, 2 pools, whole 9 yards. And the complex is just loaded with fellow divorce victims. So whenever you get the urge to piss all over your ex, everybody joins in. You'll have a ball.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "Well, uh, how about your wife? / Oh, well, you know, we had a good year, but that's over.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "Hank seems in good spirits. / Who's he dancing with? / Himself. / Oh.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "But you'll live through it like I did. And you're-- you're pissed...angry...but alive, god damn it, alive. Whoo!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "You're not an original member of the O'Jays, are you, by any chance?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "Well, you know, Larry, there's a deep place inside us all, a very deep place. The trick is you gotta know how to get there. And that place is...your desk, top right-hand drawer, yellow pills. Take a few of those, a shot of bourbon...you'll go immediately to this place.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Hank's Divorce"}, {"t": "This will come as very good news to my grandmother who needs a spotter to pick up a spoon.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "listen, when you live in the bay area, it's not easy to say 'bay area man.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "The intoxicated man later tried to convince police he was one of those new, crazy, flesh-eating viruses.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "When asked to comment on this, a white house aide said, 'please go away. If she finds out I talked to you, she'll hurt me.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "'you know, you're too old, you can't see, and you're a woman,' which, by coincidence, is exactly the same excuse Bill Clinton used to get out.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "It's about a father and his 5 wacky kids. It's about a father and 4 kids. It doesn't even add up to 6, and yet it's called... the 6 of us. They're too cheap to hire the sixth guy.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "They said, 'well, that's... hopefully, people watch every week to wonder who the other one is.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "I actually believe that you could replace all of our network executives with chimps and, other than the, uh, hygiene factor going up, why, no one would know the difference.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Great show, great guests tomorrow, you go home, have a glass of wine, whack off. I'll see you tomorrow.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Dr. Don! I didn't recognize you with my pants on!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "If you stand up too fast, you'll get hit in the head by the boom.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "His heart's in the right place, but he keeps his brain in a box at home.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "I gave him some candy and a balloon and sent him on his merry way.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Or maybe we say that you've discovered the network family tree and you pull out this dead little Bush or somethin'.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "I believe that's the same message on, uh, Michael Jackson's answering machine.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Not always easy for the network to find the chair.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Well, I was in nursery school.", "c": ["Daniel Palmer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Oh, so you write as well?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Well, I only know what's on until 8:30 because that's my bedtime.", "c": ["Daniel Palmer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Manson had a family.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Fine. I'll write it up. Have it upstairs by the end of the day.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Fine. I'll write it up. Have it upstairs by the end of the day.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "The network respects you too much to play that kind of game.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "I've been makin' waves since the midwife tugged me out of my mother's underside.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "we'll kick 'em in the ass.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Who the fuck do you think I am, Mr. Chips?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "If only the arabs and israelis would give cup-a-soup.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Oh, God! Aiyeee!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "I get a bad tooth, he goes to Maui.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Get off my ass. I'm hungry.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "I heard he's found the lord.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "If I was 10 years on that boat, I'd find the lord, too.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Gavin mccloud doesn't know one fucking ring from another.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "I already had my... lunch. I had a ham and bourbon sammich.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Is this the ham talking?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "The little guy with the palsy, right?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "I hope you like it short and uneven.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "No. I'm the goat. They're gonna fire me, see? They say that I can't handle you, so they're gonna bring in their own man.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "Before we get any further into tonight's show, I would like to say that... we've been doing some joking about the network the last couple of weeks, and that is my responsibility. I take full responsibility for it, and if I so overstepped my boundaries and insulted the network in any way, I apologize, and I would like to be a member of the network family again...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "that nice lady is gonna be, uh, tripping over a little thing called a subpoena.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "The Fourteenth Floor"}, {"t": "When you have meetings with her lawyer, always wear the same suit. That way they think it's the only one you own. They don't rape you so much on the fucking alimony.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "That is what Chinese man say when he go to dentist. He say, 'uh-oh. Uh-oh, my tooth hurting.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 3.55, "im": 3.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Let us blow Mr. Neil Callaham's mind.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Callaham.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "No, the first one kind of took the wind out of my sails.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Do I call you Sarah or Sarah Jessica Parker? Or Sarah Jessica? Whatever you'd like. Really. Well, I'll call you Sal.", "c": ["Larry", "Sarah Jessica Parker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "You know, we had Patricia Arquette on the show the other night. And she died the death of a dog.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "I have a boyfriend.", "c": ["Sarah Jessica Parker"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "I thought we could shoot a few games. You know, I got my own cue and balls.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Well, I have my own cue also. He's in New York, and he'll be flying in tonight.", "c": ["Sarah Jessica Parker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Besides, Hank, you're old enough to be my father. Ouch. How old is your father?", "c": ["Sarah Jessica Parker", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "It's Matthew Broderick. I date Matthew Broderick.", "c": ["Sarah Jessica Parker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, no pressure. If tomorrow's better, hey, I'm fly with that. You're fly.", "c": ["Hank", "Sarah Jessica Parker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Oh, you hate being hit on by desperate men, too?", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "I got a bottle of champagne at home with your name on it. And what name would that be? Brut.", "c": ["Hank", "Stage Manager"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Oh, I like them small and compact. Then why don't you go fuck a Toyota?", "c": ["Hank", "Stage Manager"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Wow, and a sense of humor.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Wow, and a sense of humor. No one loves me. No one really cares.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Tight little body. Your breasts. Hank. Hank! Come on.", "c": ["Hank", "Assistant"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "After my first wife gave me the gate, I went on a binge of sex, drugs, and 180-proof Everclear that lasted for three years.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "After my fourth divorce, I was able to squeeze the same amount of debauchery into a long weekend.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Shock, denial, fear, booze, boners, acceptance.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Well, how much just to jack me off? 150 cash up front.", "c": ["Hank", "Prostitute"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "You know, when you go to a gas station, they ask you to pay first, so it's a precedent, you know.", "c": ["Prostitute"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "When you go to a gas station, they ask you to pay first, so it's a precedent, you know.", "c": ["Prostitute"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. No. No kissing. I don't work that way.", "c": ["Prostitute"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Used to make cat noises when I blew him. Jeez. You kind of look like him.", "c": ["Prostitute"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Rrrr. Mmm. Woof! I'm all right. Aiiee. Arf, arf.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Hank's not doing the show? How will we survive? Will there be a tomorrow? God in heaven, save us!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "I'm in show business, so I'm a little bit of a whore, too.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "You calling me a whore? I'm not calling you a whore. No, no. I'm just saying that, you know, you're different from the other wh... from the other girls.", "c": ["Prostitute", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "One time I did this guy named... uh, what's his name? Andy Richter. Get out.", "c": ["Prostitute", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "God, you sidekicks are all alike.", "c": ["Prostitute"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "A friend of mine said that he saw Mr. Kingsley sitting in a hotel bar with a prostitute. Your friend is mistaken.", "c": ["Network Executive", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "He sees a bald man with a hooker. Automatically, it's Hank Kingsley. I wasn't aware Carl Reiner's out of town.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "You only care about me because you're my agent. I pay you 10% to care about me. 7\u00bd%, you cheap bastard.", "c": ["Hank", "Sid"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "You've been married to the same lady for 56 years. I'm thinking of getting out.", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "I did him once. In 1956. It was only the one time. Now we're dear, dear friends.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Darlene, he's hit bottom and broke through to another bottom I know nothing about.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Great show last night. You were really funny, as always. Hold on. What's your name? Raoul.", "c": ["Raoul", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "And that is the effect, apparently, that I'm having on the American fucking viewing public!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Raul Julia was here? Raoul the waiter.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "This is a Beretta 9mm Centurion. You just pick that baby up. It'll do the job for you.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Listen, I'm gonna give housekeeping 20 bucks. I mean, you won't feel a fucking thing, but they're the ones who are gonna have to suffer.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "No one cares because I'm the boss. The boss has no problems. Sometimes, I swear to God, I feel like I should just end it all.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "You can always blow your head off. Safety's off. Ready to go. The divorce gun.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "How close did Hank come to shooting himself? Oh, that fucking baby. He started crying the second I pulled it out.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "Gosh, this brings back memories.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Next Stop...Bottom"}, {"t": "That's something my ex-wife used to tell me.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "Artie go out to lunch? He never goes out to lunch.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "When I get stressed out, I retain water. Every year before the emmys, I puff up like a fucking blowfish.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "Beverly's frantic fan-girl meltdown over Clint Black", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "I have to give you a check for the coffee table and the lamp. / No, sir. I intend to make you work for what you owe.", "c": ["Artie", "Donna"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Now we don't have a lookout. Now, if he comes in, he's gonna see... his calendar.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "Where is Artie?! Would you keep it down? You have to speak up, Larry! I can't hear ya!", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "First, she steals Snyder. Now she's trying to steal Artie. Fuckers!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "August, I think!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "Darlene volunteering to sing with Clint Black", "c": ["Darlene", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "It's great to find some places never change... except for John, the chef. He's dead.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "We split it. / Yeah, well, good. Fascinating. / So we're screwing each other silly. Is that what you want to know about?", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "Ever since I pissed in Larry Tisch's pool on labor day, I've been persona non grata at black rock.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "You cbs whore.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "Well, no, not if you're riding fence.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "They'll cut you like a ripe tomato, OK?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "Listen, no matter what they tell you, no matter what Larry tells you, they'll cut you like a ripe tomato, OK?", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "You must be one hell of a lay.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "I'm also a good cook, and I mix a stiff drink. Every last one of my wives said they would have divorced me years before, but they just couldn't face life without my herbs and spices.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "I'm lying for love.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "You didn't just say tough titty, did you? / Tough titty!", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "Tough titty! / You didn't just say tough titty, did you? / Tough titty!", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "I'm afraid I'm going to turn into a lonely old geezer wondering whether your melon got chopped up or whether I told you that your ass isn't fat.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "My ass is fine. My ass is great. I never felt better about my ass.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "Then maybe you and your fat ass can go fuck yourselves.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "Here's your fucking suit. / Where are the pants? / They're letting them out in the butt.", "c": ["Larry", "Wardrobe"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "You mean the crotch?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "You're the happiest we've ever had on the show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "You just need to find your Lisa.", "c": ["Clint Black"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "I think you're my Lisa, and I think I'm yours. / Oh, jeez! What the fuck!", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Arthur's Crises"}, {"t": "We got an hour and 23 minutes till showtime, which explains the bad timing of your jokes.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "I hope Larry's back doesn't fall off. Because then, what would hold up his ass?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Well, if Larry's not going to rehearse, I don't think I should be forced to rehearse.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Larry manipulating a doctor into prescribing more pills by escalating his 'pain'", "c": ["Larry", "Doctor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "That's funny. You should have your own talk show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "You're up to 3 of those now? That is the recommended dosage. Yeah, for a 1,500-pound man.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Oh, well, I've never been so insulted in my life.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "They already filled it up 5 times, so obviously they're lying", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Clinton's right. The health care system in this country is just all fucked.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "I told props that I needed a flammable animal.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Larry, right on time as usual.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Alex Trebek? Alex Trebek. No. I'm just saying...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Maybe it's mama bear.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Talentless fat fuck.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "I'm going to do the show in my car where the seats are adjusted properly.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "What a delightful bride of Christ you make, Roseanne.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "This place looks like the stock room at Upjohn.", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "These are placebos. Part of that modified rationing program I told you about.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "He told me root canal. OK, so I'm not an expert in periodontics. Are you?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Bottle of Pernacet half-empty. Or half-full, depending on how you look at it.", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Who do you think I am, huh? Patty Hearst?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Fox will make a TV movie about you before the end of the year.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Martin Mull. Threatens Larry. Mike Myers. Threatens Larry. Tony Danza. Threatens Larry. Pat Sajak.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "They made me book him 'cause he's the only one who doesn't threaten Larry.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "What's rule number 2, filling his prescriptions as soon as possible?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "'Talentless fat fuck,' right? I catch onto things quickly. Yes. Very hurtful. Not entirely accurate. I've lost upwards of 14 pounds.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Oh, so... so 'talentless fuck' would have been more appropriate. You skinny little shit.", "c": ["Artie", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "A bad case of Pat Sajakitis. We're all giddy with it, my boy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "When did Sajak get so fucking funny?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "No. I have absolutely no idea. I see. So your show's still in the top 10, huh? Well, yeah. Until they run that Frasier guy against us.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "You don't think Frasier's that good, do you?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "That's French for get 'em while they're hot!", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "It's like a wine cellar with handles.", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "You forced me to talk to my agent without a pill. Are you aware of that?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Did you pull her out of a burning building at some point, or did you sit through She Devil?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "She's with William Morris, right?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Larry, if it's any consolation, I pulled my groin once, too, and I know how painful that can be. I heard he had laryngitis. Well, you know, when you pull your groin, your voice has a tendency to go. Yeah. Go up at least, I guess.", "c": ["Jeff Cesario"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Jamie Lee Curtis has never been on the show, Larry.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "When you were smoking weed, you were kinda funny. But when you started taking these percs and bourbon, it's like you're working behind 8 feet of ice!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Hank thinks it's the Santa Ana winds. He said Larry's allergic and his face swells up.", "c": ["Darlene"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "It's a fucking tic-tac. Oh... but that's progress.", "c": ["Larry", "Roseanne"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "I didn't have a drug problem. I was lying because I was covering a nervous breakdown. Number 2, it was on television, so it doesn't mean shit.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "They go through my garbage.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Yeah, but prescription nonetheless. I think... they're ones that anybody could get or probably did. Anybody takes... addicts.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Pay up, everybody. So, Paula, you, uh... Paula, how much did you win? $200. So you bet that I had a drug problem. Yes, sir. Well, consider that a Christmas bonus.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "I believe that's 190 more than you received last year.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "It hurt me when you rejected my gay evangelist sketch. Oh, come on. That sketch was over the top. There was a character named Jerry Fagwell in it.", "c": ["Writer", "Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "I'm not the one with the pill problem, you self-destructive asshole.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Oh. You were just so doped out on drugs, you just... you didn't know what you were saying. Hank, that's water under the bridge. I remember, though, exactly what I was saying.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Well, are you sure that you're not just saying that because you want the time slot after my show? I don't think so. I don't really want your time slot.", "c": ["Roseanne", "Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "I want you. Oh, jeez. Say that again. I want you. No. The thing about the time slot.", "c": ["Larry", "Roseanne"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "End of the Season"}, {"t": "Hank arriving late to a meeting about keeping the show fresh with 'hey now... oh, started on time'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Kato kaelin has people?", "c": ["Unknown staff member"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Hank's property values complaint about living on Rockingham", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "you bumped him for faith ford. Hey, who knew he was going to get this hot?", "c": ["Unknown staff member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "This is just what we needed. A sense of direction. Here we go. Hank.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Well, aren't you a goddamn smart fellow because it was at planet fucking Hollywood. I mean who wants to eat buffalo wings sitting next to demi Moore's torn panties from disclosure?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Oh, stop. I smell sulfur.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "She puts the supe in super model.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "because when they kill tuna, they kill dolphins, and dolphins are people. People of the sea.", "c": ["Ivanka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "They're fish, they're not people. Fish. The fight ends in fish.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "The lingerie catalog really fucked me... The lingerie catalog fucked you?", "c": ["Ivanka", "Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Oh, fuck.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Do svidaniya.", "c": ["Ivanka"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Larry, you asshole, I know you're there. It's roseanne. Call me if you have the balls.", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Did letterman have Tom hanks on again, or... Did Leno have the ito dancers on again?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Harrison ford, Steve Martin, Michelle pfeiffer. Who else?", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Are you Larry Sanders? No.", "c": ["Fan", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "What brings you here? The show get cancelled? No, no. No, not yet.", "c": ["Larry", "Chevy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "I thought it was 19 months. On the 12th. Right.", "c": ["Larry", "Chevy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "I had a fish behind my head... everybody said, 'fish? Why fish?' I don't know. Why fish?", "c": ["Chevy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Hello, mayor. Hank Kingsley. Listen, a little problem. Easy fix.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "You could say that, uh, you live on rockingham, just a knife's throw from o.j.'s house. Uh, no. I don't think I could do that one. That... that... that implies o.j. Is guilty.", "c": ["Phil", "Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sure if you looked at all my underwear you'd find some blood there, too.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I'm... I'm going to go out and murder someone without my shoes on. Come on, come on.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "He's always been nice to me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "if o.j. Had really just admitted he was guilty from the get-go, he'd be out by now.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "The latest DNA study now shows o.j. Didn't even gain those 2,000 yards that year.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "women married to American presidents who cheat on them with fat blonde whores", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "I flushed them down the toilet with the rest of tonight's show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Well, let's call Dr. Reisman for a last-minute booking idea.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Then he can produce the show, and you can come to my office, lie on my couch, and cry about your mammy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Soon you'll have Larry recovering a false memory of an uncle who tried to touch his pecker.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you got a good spot from years of hard work. Turns out all you have to do is dive into a shallow pond.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Tell that limp dick asshole if he wants to bump me he should have the balls to do it himself, or I'm going to come down there and beat his fat ass just the way he likes it.", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "I just said that I liked it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Perhaps you could arrange a conference call between you, Dr. Reisman, and the 12 roseannes.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "You little prick! What? You did it! You egged my car! What are you talking about?", "c": ["Hank", "Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "I am 100% not guilty.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Fuck you, Hank. Of course I did it. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "I can't wear this dress! I'm pregnant, you dip shit!", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "This television show is where you are in total command, where no one gets the best of you, where you are the king.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Just then, when you didn't know whether to kiss me or not.", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "because it had a penis and a brain.", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "I guess I would feel competitive over... in the breast feeding area. I think that I would be there, uh, you know, nudging the child out of the way.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "It will be 18 years before you see another one. That's what I would say.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Yeah, but my show's funny.", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Yeah, but the only thing I remember about sex with you in the limo is that Ben was driving.", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.78, "im": 9.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Yeah, but the only thing I remember about sex with you in the limo is that Ben was driving.", "c": ["Roseanne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Surf's up.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Damn it! Why couldn't she have done that on tonight's show? We would have had worldwide publicity.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Dr. Reisman wanted me to run away like some little girl.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Bump ivanka.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Roseanne's Return"}, {"t": "Your lips look a little cracked.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Of course. They misplaced the lip balm.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I hate to be a bother, but is there some religious reason you're not answering my phone?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "What darlene does is not a job, you see? It's a calling, and I will wait for her return.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Hey, look out, me boy, I found me lucky poker hat.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Wayne's world money!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.99, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Artie wearing the Dana Carvey tape as a hat", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "I think he's on crack.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "You're getting very wide. I'm shoving it up.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Chinless little cocksuckers.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Well, you... you lilt.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Fuck you.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "I'm tracing this call right now! Pound sand up your ass.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "From the cirque du soleil. The sad clown, right?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Remember? Everybody put on their protective goggles, and let's all play double danger. Double danger.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Well, actually, I was the personal assistant to her personal assistant.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "She made him clean the hair out of her tub.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Oh, our nation's capital. Canada. I know! Canada.", "c": ["Hank", "Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Don't speak to Larry unless he speaks to you.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Fat lips.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "I've earned the right to leave the room.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Hard-on cream? No, I forgot it.", "c": ["Brian", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "I could never talk this way around darlene. She'd just get all insulted.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "I'll be in my office whacking off. Okay. Uh, I'll hold all your calls.", "c": ["Hank", "Brian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "The Chinese call it a feng shui, the placement of objects in a room to maximize your harmony and power.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Has she lost any weight? No!", "c": ["Darlene's letter", "Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "You know, the toughest people are the ones who can cry. I'm tough.", "c": ["Brian", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Hey, life, take your best shot, 'cause to Mr. Hank Kingsley, life is a carousel, and the sun is a scoop of ice cream.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Are you gay? Yeah, but that was two years ago, and I got over it.", "c": ["Hank", "Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "It's Steve. Steve. God damn it!", "c": ["Larry", "Steve"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Well, that's 'cause it's 50 cents now. It just went up a couple years ago. You wouldn't have known that.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "He's gay? Well, don't tell Dana carvey, 'cause you know what? He'll do an impression of him.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "A gay? What are you? Italian?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Maybe this will be your first chance to fuck your assistant.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "There was not one indication on that resume that he was gay. Not... not... not one.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Barbara streisand. Aw. Aw, shit.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Yes, I asked for lanolin. I asked for lanolin. Darlene was with me for six years. She never did this. / Hank, you asked for aloe vera.", "c": ["Hank", "Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "So this has nothing to do with me being gay, does it?", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "I wore a red ribbon to the emmys. I have been to several elton John concerts.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "I mean, look at my ass. I'm touching my ass.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "You said versace, and you touched yourself. I touched myself on the leg. Why does yourself have to mean penis?", "c": ["Larry", "Dana"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "People say I flip-flop, and I don't. But then again, I do.", "c": ["Dana as Clinton"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Why should I be mad? I have many arrows in my comedic arsenal, Larry. Let's put the Larry Sanders arrow back in the sheath and pull out the Jimmy Stewart arrow. Bing. Bull's-eye!", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "I'd take that little Dana carvey and I'd dry-shave him with a flicker.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "I am, but where else am I going to find a personal assistant who'll tell me when Larry is hurt?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Doug llewelyn's a faggot. Sorry.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "I worked on a Cruise ship for eight years. I did nothing but play poker. I am going to kick their asses.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "Well, I got a boner. Whoa, we're all in trouble.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Hank's New Assistant"}, {"t": "General rule of thumb... if you see nose hair, it's too close. Aha!", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Checks for Larry, birds for Hank... aw, throw that one away.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "As much as I'd love Larry to ask her about her gorgeous new tits, I feel we covered that front quite well when miss butler was here in may.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "You have to forgive me. I've got my period.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "You know, you used that excuse 10 weeks ago, memory serves. That means you're not due to start your cycle until the 22nd or 23rd.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Well, how do you know I wasn't lying the last time?", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "You were a bit puffy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Oh, you're good. You're not the first woman who's told me that.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Do you like history, Phil? What does that mean? Because if Larry doesn't want to wear the hat, that's what it becomes, dig?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "He is supposed to be the gorton's fisherman. Without the hat, he's just a guy in a yellow slicker.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "What? Makes me laugh. What makes you laugh, the sketch? No. The word 'slicker' makes me chuckle.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Say it again. Slicker. Use it in a sentence. I like my slicker. Ha ha.", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Artie, I'm gonna kick somebody's ass, I swear.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Profanity, beverly. I love it.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "that wendy bitch in charge of the audience... she's got her way in the hell up there where we put the retards.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "We call them 'mentally challenged' now, beverly.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Don't twist your skivvies in a knot, sugar.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Having fun showing her around? Artie, the woman is my mother.", "c": ["Artie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Is there blood? Everywhere.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "What, can't find your way upstream to spawn?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "someone has been touching my karaoke machine.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Oh, God, no!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Really? No.", "c": ["Artie", "Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I walk in the morning, the red light is on, and this baby is just warm to the touch", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I know how your people enjoy the karaoke.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Now if you'll excuse me, I must go call my parents and tell them I'm asian.", "c": ["Bri"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I miss darlene. And not just because of, you know, the, uh, the sweaters.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "You know, that was the least graceful entrance we've ever had on the show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I would rather sometimes be allowed to be the man.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "\u266a do-do-do-do-do-do-do \u266a", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I got into bed with them. They had plenty of room.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "They're arguing, or they're burying stuff in the backyard?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "All at once, they're just coming at me 100,000 miles a minute. Who is? Everybody in the business.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Not a damn thing. I've been fired off everything. No, you haven't. I'm kidding.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I have an erection. Funny, so do I.", "c": ["Larry", "Sandra"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Hey, 2 erections and nowhere to go.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Hey, thanks for being a soldier about this, rye bread.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Make you feel better to hit me? Go ahead. Shut up. You know you want to. I'm not hitting anymore.", "c": ["Artie", "Ryan"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "And the next time you need somebody to pick you up after one of your d.u.I. S, don't call me.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "And don't call me rye bread. It's what farrah calls me.", "c": ["Ryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Speaking of my ass, if it gets any bigger, it's gonna need a publicist. I'm not kidding. It's gonna have a career of its own soon.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "She's probably screwing hans brinker. She's making his skates into earrings as we speak.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "That's not my problem now, is it, sweetie?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I'm not sending you one thin gilder.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "go to rotterdam, then you go to amsterdam, then you go down the road to my city. That's right. It's a little place called I don't give a damn.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Of course. You didn't really expect to find him here.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "He's lucky he's not in that chair, the fucking asshole. Fuck him! Fuck me for taking this shit for so long!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Beverly? I'm coming, ma!", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "There's those letters I hate. There they are. I hate those fucking letters.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "And now, because he's a big, phony bastard, Larry Sanders!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Yeah, I recognize that toluca lake accent.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "No, dipshit. I mean recently, before toluca lake.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "You just told me that you watch the show a lot. Yes, but is no Larry.", "c": ["Artie", "Nicolae"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Hank. Hank is very good. Ha! You know Hank? Hey now!", "c": ["Nicolae", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "You know why we get along, nic? 'Cause we're brothers. We're the unsung heroes. I clean up shit all day, you clean up shit all night.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "When you die, you'll go to heaven, you say hello to God, and when God says hello to you, this is what you'll smell on his breath.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "You're lucky, nic, 'cause the shit I clean up talks back.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I'm gonna resist the urge to, uh, express my anger by using profanity, and I hope you appreciate that, you... scum-sucking asshole!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I wish you great success with the show. And personally, I have no ill will toward you... but hope your balls fall off.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "but does it crack? Does it? No!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Because all the pressure in this building, all the stress goes right into that, but does it crack? Does it? / No! / Aw, say, you bet your ass. Damn right it doesn't.", "c": ["Artie", "Nicolae", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "'Cause all people remember is the night the chimp grabbed Larry's balls.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "That's the way it adds up... just a monkey and some balls.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Here. Iooky here. I want you to take this. Go on, take it. / No. / Fuck your pride. Keep the clip, too. / Too very many.", "c": ["Artie", "Nicolae"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "he gave me this the year he took his show to Florida.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Why nicolae get mop? Brother, you throw bottle. You go clean.", "c": ["Nicolae"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "You're still the fucking janitor, aren't you?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I hope your balls falling off!", "c": ["Nicolae"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I hope your balls falling off! / Ah, fuck you. You're fired. / I union. Union this! / I no need brother like you.", "c": ["Nicolae", "Artie", "Nicolae", "Nicolae"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "I union. Union this!", "c": ["Nicolae"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "He's smiling like that because his refund check from the Betty ford clinic just came in the mail today.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Prick.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Everything is Dan-Dan-dandy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "Warm, moist, muffin-y goodness. Courtney Cox? Oh, close. A muffin.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "He's got this friend nicolae. Whew. What a mouth on that one.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Arthur After Hours"}, {"t": "This will be, like, the ninth time in a row.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "He was loaded.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "You've bumped me clean out of the young comedian category.", "c": ["Jeff Cesario"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Christ, I feel like George Miller.", "c": ["Jeff Cesario"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Supremely bumpable.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Well, I'm going let that bit of nonsense pass.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Well, if I cut my monologue down, it takes me three minutes to get going to begin with, so if I cut it down by two minutes, I'm only going to have one minute where it really works.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Rob Lowe.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "All right. More pussy for Larry.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. That's not me. You know that's not me. That's just the grief talking.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "The chef? Come on.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Again? What is he, homeless? Get a job.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "So if I talk about it another day, it's not gonna be topical.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Let's, uh, give him 2\u00bd minutes, and, uh, we'll make it work.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "His old man abandoned him when he was 2.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "I want you to check and make sure that Hank's father really died.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Let's not get too cynical. Please?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "blah, blah, blah, blah.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "He was a great man. That's all you need to know.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Yeah, right. Did he show up at your high school graduation?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Well, I just wanna know when you're gonna have some black people on.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Oh, I just love it when you take control.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "You're prettier.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "If those are his parents, he probably brought them in to put more fucking pressure on you.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "I didn't come here just to stick my thumb up my ass.", "c": ["David Duchovny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "He'll bellow like a bull moose.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "you're gonna bump my dead father?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Well, princess won't work, 'cause that's what he calls me.", "c": ["Vendela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Well, my friends started callin' me doll baby, peanut, princess.", "c": ["Vendela"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "She's really flirting with me. Yeah. No shit.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "I suggest the infomercial bit. It's been done to death.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "But this has Jack to do with him. It's got to do with you grabbing a little glory in the spotlight.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "It's got to do with you grabbing a little glory in the spotlight.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Next time I'll use a trash bin.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "And if that doesn't prove the theory of evolution, I don't know what does.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "but that the light show was 'a killer, dude.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "And upon regaining consciousness, one of the victims said he thought the concert was kind of short, but that the light show was 'a killer, dude.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Larry, my wife lets me talk more than that.", "c": ["Rob Lowe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "This is a talk show. OK?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Well, you know, uh, marriage is about, uh, communication. This is a talk show. OK?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "I don't want you to open it right now. You don't want me to open it now? No. I like the element of surprise.", "c": ["Vendela", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "I will not be returning this.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "That was so rude.", "c": ["Vendela"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "So that's what we had in the beginning. We had a cult following. Yeah. So really bad ratings is a cult following.", "c": ["David Duchovny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "So I'd rather just show the clip and then maybe explain it after. No, no. That was a good explanation anyway.", "c": ["David Duchovny", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "We can misplace anything, so help me.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "You didn't lose that fucking clip.", "c": ["David Duchovny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Put him on the Sean Young list.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "I made it!", "c": ["Jeff Cesario"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Maybe I wanna cut my own hair with my own vacuum cleaner.", "c": ["Jeff Cesario"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Liver failure. Ha ha ha ha.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "This fucker's going long. Doesn't he know my father died?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "you know, my dad was kind of an ass, too, but, hey, guys... we just got him a crappy Christmas gift, OK?", "c": ["Jeff Cesario"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "It took 'em 40 shots to kill their parents and they were sittin' on the couch. Come on.", "c": ["Jeff Cesario"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "I really actually didn't know this man. So I don't, um... I don't wanna do this.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "I really actually didn't know this man. So I don't, um... I don't wanna do this. So back to you. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Why don't we, uh... take a moment for, uh, head... uh, for Hank's, uh, dead dad?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "Jesus, Larry, was it good? You're kidding, now, aren't you?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "The Bump"}, {"t": "My next guest, I'm sure you'll recognize. She is an inter... I can't even say this... she's an internationally known model and actress.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I'm American, and I'm used to only kissing on one cheek. That's OK. Second of all, just being who I am, I'm always just happy with one kiss", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I figure the second one's... I'm gonna somehow get hurt. [...] Usually a kiss on one side and a hit on the other.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "If you were asian, we would have bowed.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I love oslo. That's in norway. Yes, it's norway.", "c": ["Larry", "Tatjana"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Paula! Paula, you gotta help me. Jeannie's coming up in the elevator.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Wow, that is so rare to find someone else who likes Italian food.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "No, I'm asking the guy with one eye in row 6. I don't think he knows either.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Don't get drunk.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Again? We have David duchovny again.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Larry's office hasn't changed a bit. Oh, is, uh, that right?", "c": ["Jeannie", "Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I don't watch TV.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "The wayans family is in there. A lot of fun going on. Hey, big house party.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Mucho blood, but, you know, not as bad as it looks. Lot of veins in the scalp.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I just have dinner every night with the third guest. It just happens to be tatjana tonight.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Vendela was right. It's so terrific in here.", "c": ["Tatjana"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I can't believe I drove an hour for that.", "c": ["Tatjana"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "You know these supermodels have no stored fat. When they gotta eat, they gotta eat.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "It's so typical. You know, I warm 'em up and just... Larry scores.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "He looked right through me. Oh, I know. I know. It's a cold stare.", "c": ["Jeannie", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Yeah, like, um, hi. I'm a star. Who are you?", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I also do cagney, you know.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "His family completely screwed him up. [...] did they spank him? Yes. Constantly.", "c": ["Jeannie", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "You dirty rat. You killed my brother, see? And now I'm gonna kill you, see?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Hank, that's my dress.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I ate everything in the mini bar while you were asleep. I'll send you a check.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Mr. Washington, you know, these wooden teeth will last a lifetime, as long as you don't put a, uh, Beaver in your mouth.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.34, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "There's too many lines, or are the words just too big?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Well, before or after I fucked her?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I know it wasn't during 'cause you would have been nauseous.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "What do you mean, she slipped on something and fell onto your penis?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I can't believe that Hank drilled Jeannie.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Sweetheart, baby, trying to ruin us all? Our jobs depend on Larry being just that much better than the other guy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "If he feels so bad, why doesn't he pay for the cappuccino runs? He's got the money.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Because it's an empty gesture made in the spirit of cheapness.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "This is a beautiful plate, but not as beautiful as the plate in your head.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "It's nice the inmates get time for arts and crafts.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "You're a talentless fat fuck, you know that? Wow. I'm sorry? I'm sorry. Did I say... talentless fat fuck, I meant... I meant, uh, sidekick.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "So, well, Jeannie tells me you wet your little bed till you were 8?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Oh, and fell onto his penis? Just as I suspected.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Oh, God! Larry doesn't like white water rafting! Oh, God! Larry doesn't like white water rafting!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Thanks for a purr-fect evening? [...] Then it can't be too serious 'cause otherwise, you know, he would've drawn a pony. That's what he's best at.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "The only reason that I slept with Hank was to hurt you. But... but I don't want you to tell him that, 'cause I don't want to hurt his feelings.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Wow, did you read that off of a greeting card? That was sweet.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "The sun sets at night so it can be at home to watch your monologue.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "There they are, the sunshine boys.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Researchers have found that scuba diving may cause brain damage. Well, there's a shock to the people who watch baywatch.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Now there's where you just got to say, 'hey, son, you're grounded.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Whenever I come to L.A. I get all confused and... and twisted around. L... I hate L.A.", "c": ["Jeannie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "You're marrying someone named stu?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you're never coming back again, are you? No.", "c": ["Artie", "Jeannie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Jeannie's Visit"}, {"t": "Yeah, and those are big cups.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I feel like I have 20 pounds of wet sand in my head.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I was nuttier in the late eighties.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Hey, dad, where's the crapper? I gotta drop the kids off at the pool.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "What a freak. What a big fucking freak.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Talk up. They're in the crapper, for God's sakes.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I was just thinking he's got such a great personality, maybe he should be the receptionist.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "You remember that summer we hired sheldon's son and we caught him in the xerox room with a copy of hustler? Remember what he was doing?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "What am I, a pussy? Why don't I send him something nice like a parasol and some earrings?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "If you're within an 8-foot radius, whoop it up.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Don't lip off to the head rooster, you're set.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "honestly, like some kind of cardboard shit.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "That's the kissing disease. Don't kiss me!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I got fruit baskets comin' out of my ass.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Dad, that network dipshit is sitting in your office waiting for you.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "It's not as thrilling as un-jamming the xerox machine, but no, I do not mind.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Hey, slim pants, yogurt? No, thanks, fat pants.", "c": ["Cully", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Non-dairy is strawberry swirl, or as I like to call it, the queer's delight.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.51, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I'll have that. Lar will have queer's delight.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I think he's very sexy, and I'd like to sleep with him.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Good. I'm so tired of all the neurotic pussies around here.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Well, maybe he went to 'this can't be yogurt.' Where's that? It's right near 'what is this, yogurt?' You know, I don't care if he goes to 'hey, that's my asshole.' I just want some yogurt.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Actually, I... I... I prefer it... extra-wet. It's, uh, more like real yogurt.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Everyone screws up the yogurt. I used to screw it up back when it was ice cream, and my car smelled like rotten milk, but that's show biz.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "You get to wear shorts, drive around with the door open. It's perfect in this fucking heat.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I noticed that the armrest was missing and the seats were very, uh, sticky.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "No one else has ever sat behind the wheel of my bentley except for the 3 previous owners and now... our cully.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Yeah, especially since I drove my shitbox into the bus shelter.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "That b-12 shot's doing no good whatsoever. Actually, maybe I should get a shot in each cheek, because one half of my ass feels like it's alive and rarin' to go and the other half feels depressed... and lonely.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Just look at kiefer sutherland.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Tell him I'm uncomfortable around new people... that you don't like anyone who's younger than you, that you're still mad about that 'queer's delight' crack.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "With me gone, he'll have you all to himself.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Why, because cully hasn't learned how to kiss ass yet like everybody else around here?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I just wanted my frozen yogurt frozen, that's all.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I can see this is a double Larry day.", "c": ["Larry King"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "In the name of the sweet baby Jesus, why am I so fat?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Really? Thanks for telling me, because I wouldn't know what a magazine is. I'm a moron.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Look, I'm sorry that you're a 50-year-old p.a., but that's not really my fault.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Not after you stabbed the great one with a fork!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I was 6 years old. He was comin' at me.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Parr, gleason, cavett, and now Larry. It's always the same. Larry, a guy who's so limp, he's like a fucking sock.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Don't you dare call Larry a sock!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Maybe he'll get that job at ups that he wanted.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "I saw them my first day on the job. I saw the package. I said, 'let me take this to Larry personally.' I spaced. I left it in the trunk of the car.", "c": ["Cully"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "Isn't tampering with the mail a felony? Yeah, well, he's Artie's son.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "The P.A."}, {"t": "now that sign says Applesauce. [Audience laughing] No, no, no. I'm kidding. It says, 'applause.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "she insisted That her sign-off line On the cbsevening news was 'I do you a long time, joe.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "I so rarely laugh At my own stuff That I'm overjoyed that Something struck me funny.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "It will also be the First mcdonald's to have The new never happy meal.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "This, of course, Is a follow-up to His previous calendar chicks with one eye.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "You don't talk to me When anita baker Is singing Because then It won't look Like I'm listening.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Shut the fuck up.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Why do I have to be The little puppet?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Who writes This shit? Network publicist. They think this kind Of crap is clever.", "c": ["Larry", "Unknown Staff"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "I'm just juiced. Juiced! Ha ha! That's cute!", "c": ["Hank", "Irene"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "they Were afraid that People would think The eye thing Was because of The orange juice.", "c": ["Irene"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "He doesn't even eat Smoked whitefish.", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "I read, uh, the bridges of... Madison County", "c": ["Hank", "Sid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "You know how come I know I'm stoned? Why? To get To the other side?", "c": ["Phil", "Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Hey, kids! Let's go smoke Another fatty And watch Hank's birthday.", "c": ["Phil", "Damon"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "We think it's Hank And ray combs eating cake.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "I shall wash, But I shan't Be clean. Pinky's got the tits. Butsey's got the ass.", "c": ["Hank on tape"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "the snake Doesn't like Artie. [All laugh] [Hissing]", "c": ["Hank on tape"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Up periscope! [Screaming and laughing]", "c": ["Hank on tape"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "We-- we were walking by. It said, 'hank's birthday.' We thought we had Missed your party Or something.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "It's like The rob lowe situation. Nobody remembers The rob lowe tapes.", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Well, I'm just Fucking two women!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Who knew you were gonna Pull out your pecker On camera?", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "One of them Is in his sixties. He's looking Very good.", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "I trust they're Still crispy in the milk. Actually, they're Kind of soggy.", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "That tape you copied Is crawling around town Like a fucking ebola virus.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "A homeless guy had A dog with him, you know? And that's tough. You feel sorry for the-- For the dog, you know?", "c": ["Norm MacDonald"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "He's going, 'Hey, I can do this By myself. I don't need a goddamn...' You know?", "c": ["Norm MacDonald"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "It's like the longest walk In the world to the dog, You know?", "c": ["Norm MacDonald"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "That's some kind of hog He's got on him, huh?", "c": ["Norm MacDonald"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "That's some kind of hog He's got on him, huh? I'm glad the fonz Is sitting here between us. I feel kind of safe.", "c": ["Norm MacDonald"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "I'm drunk. Actually my life is shit.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "You know, you can't Just, uh, bang a jukebox And go, 'ayyy!' You know, your problems Disappear, fonzie.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "It worked for me.", "c": ["Henry Winkler"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "The guy's got a huge cock on him. Then why Is he so upset?", "c": ["Norm MacDonald"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Well, the camera Adds 10 pounds.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "if Hank Gets that dick of his Caught in a wringer, Everyone near him Is gonna get splattered.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Sex is Not a dirty thing. Sex is not a crime. It's a loving act Between 2 or more Consenting adults. To quote our president.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "I cut one A few minutes ago. It must be all the way To seinfeld by now.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "I'm gonna wait for him After the show In the parking lot, And I'm gonna Fucking kill him. Now listen to me. You're gonna Help me do it. I'm lyle. You're eric. We're gonna grab A couple of shotguns, And we're gonna Take out daddy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "I'm lyle. You're eric. We're gonna grab A couple of shotguns, And we're gonna Take out daddy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "You bald piece of shit. You fat little whore!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Without you, there'd Be no oranges.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Don't touch anything, Especially the awards. Keep your hands off them. There's a lot of them. Pen and pencil set, That's an award.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "And all my actions Will improve The general perception Of southern Citrus fruits, juices, And related products, And I will avoid any actions Or appearance of actions Detrimental to the same.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "all my actions Will improve The general perception Of southern Citrus fruits, juices, And related products", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "I had to pull some strings With my old service buddy Sumner redstone, But I plucked it away From hard copy.", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Bob saget's Still doing the show Where people get hurt.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Well, I just blew out The candles. You certainly did.", "c": ["Hank on tape", "Woman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "[Whispering] Would you like to come up To my hotel tonight?", "c": ["Irene"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Yee-haw! The taste of dixie In a purty little carton.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Who'd you have to fuck To get this?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "Good, I wish it was me. Who'd you have to fuck To get this?", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hank's Sex Tape"}, {"t": "That sign says, 'apple sauce.' No, no, no. I'm kidding. It says, 'applause.'", "c": ["Warm-up comedian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.73, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "And now, because there's nowhere left to run, Larry Sanders!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Trust me, your response only means you have to get out of the house more.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "She is said to be devastated, and really has no idea where she will find a husband now.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "I think it was really the stress of dragging, you know, that big, fat ass through the obstacle course.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 3.32, "im": 3.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Boy, he told her not to tell anyone, but evidently it slipped out at a pep rally.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "They're actually standard, normal, factory minivans that will be converted to taxis by spitting on the windshields, slashing the seats, and putting used condoms down on the floor.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Melissa gilbert. Oh, for Christ's sake. How are you gonna generate some heat around Melissa gilbert? Ladies and gentlemen, Melissa gilbert! Wa-hoo!", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Michael chiklis. Who in hell is Michael chiklis? The commish. No, that was my imitation of America. Who the hell is Michael chiklis?", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "So we don't have him? We don't have him, but I thought since you were friends with him, you could ask him.", "c": ["Artie", "Paula"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Why don't you ask one of your friends? OK. I'll ask my friend Jill. Great. Jill who? You don't know her. She works at killer shrimp.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "I have that on a poster with a little kitty hanging off a bar.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Have you seen the poster that says, 'a rule is a rule, and I'm sitting on a toilet'?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Melissa gilbert. Yahoo.", "c": ["Susan", "Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Or, as I call him, the knish.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Yes, but I wish he was alive and here and on the show tonight. Yeah. So do I. I'd settle for freddie prinze at this point.", "c": ["Artie", "Susan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "She had a 2-year relationship with a grip at abc and an intense week with Scott bakula, and just ended a very painful relationship with macgyver.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "what the fuck are you talking about? I don't want to ask her.", "c": ["Hank", "Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "If I didn't work for him, I'd be all over that.", "c": ["Susan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "You know, goddamn him and that talking car. No, no, no. That's David Hasselhoff. Macgyver's the... Richard Dean Anderson.", "c": ["Hank", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Oh. What does that mean? Is he a Drama queen?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "I can't imagine why Brian wouldn't come in here and tell us that Hank's coming in. It doesn't sound like him, does it? I know. Wow.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Larry Sanders, 551. All clear. Huh? No. Just hold that one. Thank you.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Fucking bitch! She's going after the lookaround cafe.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Oh, fuck the beach house. It's a rental. Well, you told everyone you owned the beach house. I do in the summer.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "This is no big deal. Last week, they did a tribute to steven seagal.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "What are they all doing now? I wonder.", "c": ["Jeff Goldblum"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "These are from the yucat\u00e1n peninsula.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "What is wrong with you?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "I guess you guys in publicity are having a real good laugh. Married on TV, and a year later, cancelled.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Any chance we could use that to make her look like a cunt?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "From what?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "A huge fucking baby. We're talkin' about, uh, Hank, right?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "And listen. Seriously, you must feel free to say no if this is not something you want to do. You're a love. That's what I love about you. You're my hero, see?", "c": ["Larry", "Jeff Goldblum"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "I've been waiting for you to ask me. I mean, you know, I was hoping to do the show, and last night, you know, with the booker, when she asked me, you got all funny with her.", "c": ["Jeff Goldblum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "No, and take your shit show and shove it up your big, fat ass?", "c": ["Jeff Goldblum"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Pussy alert! Pussy alert! Susan's here. She's coming on the hot asphalt.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Pussy alerts are just not as much fun as they used to be.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Doing everybody's job.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "and Phil. Phil. Huh? Phil got you already? Yeah, he did.", "c": ["Susan", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "I'm up at 9:30, right at the crack of, uh...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Don't want to.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Hey. Goldbl... is it 'blum' or 'bloom'? It's, uh, 'bloom,' oh. Well, welcome to the show.", "c": ["Hank", "Jeff Goldblum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Like 2 lovebirds in a cherry tree.", "c": ["Jeff Goldblum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "maybe book David viscott. Viscott! 2 t's.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Well, you should know there was a shooting and a beating and a killing and a stabbing there.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Don't want to.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "Don't want to.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Nothing Personal"}, {"t": "I was almost killed on the way here. I'm on the 101, and all of a sudden the entire cast of miss Saigon comes out of nowhere and tries to sideswipe me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "These asians... I mean, they must have a deal with the dmv. They... they keep getting the licenses.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.45, "im": 3.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Oh, it's an aids thing, right? / Oh, you know about it? / No, but it's always an aids thing.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Well, how does a dollar a mile sound? / 20 whole dollars. Can a cure be far behind?", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Happy to. How's 20 bucks a mile? / Oh, that's great. That's $400. / What is the cause, aids? Yeah, make it 25.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "It'd be nice to get some from a woman occasionally, wouldn't it?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "A few seconds ago, I saw Meg Ryan's head floating above my credenza.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "No, my... my interior designer's named bryn mawr. / Oh, uh, no, Bob told me he makes a lot more money using that name.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Well, he said this one is from portugal, so it'll cost you 6,000 extra. / Heh. Iordy, I did some grand humping in portugal. I got a mysterious itch in lisbon.", "c": ["Beverly", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "You know, it's getting more and more difficult to pretend you're not here.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Well, let's go with the one from portugal. Because, you know, if I get the cheaper one, then I'm always gonna think there's a better tile in portugal.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "I don't know what you've heard about us, Mr... bobo. / Mr. Bobo. / No, just bobo.", "c": ["Unknown", "Bobo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "All right, I can see what's going on. You're one of those clowns who's always on.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "[Water spraying sound] Oh! There you go. Jesus Christ.", "c": ["Unknown", "Bobo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.12, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Is it me, or does this suck? / I mean, I hate this sketch. / Yeah. So do I.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "You must get laid a lot, huh? / It's the shoe thing, you know? The kick size, dick size. / Yeah, these are bruno maglis size 112.", "c": ["Unknown", "Bobo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "How much, Frank? / Uh, a double, I guess, please. / I mean, how much is left?", "c": ["Larry", "Frank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "I told you that it would like this in the fourth quarter. / No, you didn't. / Yeah, I did. L... when we were at the Ivy... / no. / I warned you when you were... / yes, when you were tipping the valet. / No, you didn't.", "c": ["Frank", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "I don't drink. / Well, you just asked me for a drink. / I don't think that's the case. / You just asked me for a drink.", "c": ["Frank", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Are you an idiot? Answer me. Answer me, you stupid shit. Are you an idiot? / Get the fuck out of the office!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "What the fuck's the matter with him today?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "It's been over 3 hours, and the man hasn't moved a muscle. Something tells me we won't be doing a show tonight.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Between my fucking ex-wife and the... and the ponies, I'm lucky if I can swing postage.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "You're gonna be wiping your ass with $100 bills.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "You fucker. Don't ever do that to me again.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "I'll go over there and bounce that little fucker out the window. / What? Ha ha. Just kidding. / You know, but I do know a couple of guys who can be helpful... one quick phone call.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "I fired my accountant this week because evidently, he invested my money in a company that had plans to install tampon dispensers at the citadel.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "I just found out my accountant has a 3-tiered system, actually, win, place, and show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "And about the walkathon, you don't have to feel obligated to... / Paula, come on. I'm not destitute, for God's sake.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "How much was it? / I think it was 25 doll... you know what? It was $10 a mile. / That's fine. / It was $5.00 a mile. / If it's $5.00 a mile, that's fine.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "That would be your uncle? / Yeah. That's right. Ah. Mm-hmm.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Yeah. Listen, this doesn't have a happy ending, does it, Phil? / No. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "God, I suck at cheering people up.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "We got him back for you. We nailed him. The two us, Artie and me. That little cocksucker Frank is down. It was beautiful.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "It's a trellis. It's a trellis. / And this trellis... this is a gorgeous trellis. It's just... just gorgeous. And we stood there. We admired it for quite a while. Then I burned it down.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Ha! Not now there ain't.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "There's no trellis at his new house. There's a trellis at his old house... not at his new house... the one on Benedict canyon that he just moved into.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "You know, when that asian woman came out of the house screaming, I just thought she was the housekeeper.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "9 shows a night, every half hour. You know, it's like vaudeville days.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Is the car gonna be a compact, also?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "I like it. / I like it. Hot in the summer. Heh.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "I got a drinking problem. For the last 2 years, I've been off and on antidepressants. I hate my life, Larry.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "So this is 5% of what I lost? / Well, more or less. / Where's the rest? / Well, I'm working on it, man.", "c": ["Larry", "Frank"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "But for now... we're square, right? / What do you mean, we're square, Frank?", "c": ["Frank", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "These are the chins. Uh, edward and allison. And edward's mother, whose name I'm not gonna even try to pronounce.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "I'm so sorry about the Margaret cho show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Then let's go with the cheaper one because, uh, why waste the money?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "Apparently, some nut drove up on the sidewalk and ran over his foot.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?"}, {"t": "is he making this up as he goes along? He's telling an American story. I thought he was gonna do his hit. I think he's doing his bong hit.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "So my agent's fucking my booker? Yes. Oh, good to know.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "but not a hillbilly from outer space", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Granted, he's no John tesh", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "I love Sally, but I've seen miss struthers up here one more time this month.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Well, you know, my hooker days are over.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Ha ha! You are the king! King Kong! Ha ha ha ha!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Which ones? The ones who can act.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "The little guy, the hyper guy? Mm-hmm. I don't think so. He's more of a conan o'brien act. Conan won't put him on.", "c": ["Paula", "Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "About American soldier push big elephant out of plane. Very funny.", "c": ["Peng Lee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "I give it 3 fortune... 4 fortune cookie. Highest rating.", "c": ["Peng Lee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.71, "im": 4.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "What is it with the Chinese guy? He's on once a week and he's not funny. I know. Why don't you tell Larry? I'm not gonna tell him.", "c": ["Hank", "Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Very bad for hemorrhoid.", "c": ["Peng Lee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "I can't do this with Larry watching me. It gives me the creeps. Doing it in front of my clients turns me on. I feel my power.", "c": ["Paula", "Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I, uh, suspect lately our pork chop dishes, they suffer. Nobody order pork chop dishes.", "c": ["Peng Lee"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Oh, man, this is hilarious, don't you think? Artie? Don't you think this is hilarious? It's terrific. I'm enjoying it.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Tell her to clean around me.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Yes, sweetie, I do. I'm an addict.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Fuck him, he doesn't know. He's the one who swore ovitz wasn't leaving.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "This whole disney thing has everybody shitting bricks, pins, and party favors.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Of course not. I already told you I'm doing this for 5 years and then I'm getting out. You're so deluded. OK. 8 years.", "c": ["Stevie", "Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "That's just the kind of Hollywood bullshit that makes me want to Chuck it all and join the peace corps. Yeah? Big bad Ron, you piece of shit! How's it going? Oh, fuck you, asshole.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Letterman can send 2 guys from bangladesh around the world and we can't send one Chinese guy to the movies?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "That's a... a parody of an asian-American judge, prancing around with twinkle-toed dinner theater rejects.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Oh, and by, Dennis, by twinkle-toed, I imply nothing about their sexuality.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "I had his sweet and sour chicken the other day, it was like hot pink. I think it's cough syrup. I swear to God.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Jos\u00e9 jimenez was the first hispanic in space. Kids looked up to him. Well, he didn't actually go into space. That was just an act. Well, I believed it.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Well, then, you'll have a lot of screaming Japs picketing outside the studio. Screaming asian-americans.", "c": ["Dennis"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "I sent Brian to the bank with my atm card, but I don't know what happened to him. He probably got sucked into some kind of parade.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "It cured my cold.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "What, is he only taking 10% of your love?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "I want it to continue the way that it is except with more fucking.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, are you pregnant? No, but it's nice to see what your reaction would be.", "c": ["Stevie", "Paula"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sure he'd be so thrilled to hear about Ed begley Jr.'s fucking electric car.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "she, uh, got a really bad cold and she can't make it. I see, a cold. Yeah, it's pretty serious.", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "She was skiing in Aspen and she, uh, got a really bad cold / and she can't make it. / I see, a cold. / Yeah, it's pretty serious.", "c": ["Paula", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "The weather's so unpredictable this time of year when there's no snow.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Well, maybe you don't recognize me 'cause I'm a comic who never gets on TV. And why? Well, basically, thanks to people like you, that's why.", "c": ["Andy Kindler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "My advice? Pepper spray, and don't be afraid to use it.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Jennifer sprained her ankle. Really? You know, according to Paula, she mentioned to Artie that Jennifer has a head cold.", "c": ["Stevie", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "OK, Hank, give him the money. What money? Hey, there it is. What are you... all you had to do was ask. Prick.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank", "Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "I walk around in my Italian suit all day like I'm on top of the world, but I'm a fake! And if I stop pretending for a second, I fall apart 'cause I'm terrified! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Tell her about the suit.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "He is lame. Everybody in town thinks so. He's not funny.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Larry is the gorilla. He's huge, talent-wise.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Larry's the king, man. King Kong! / Ha ha ha ha! What does that mean? / Where does an 800-pound gorilla sleep? / Anywhere he wants to. / I don't get it.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry", "Jennifer Aniston"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Um, I'm... gosh, but I can't really think of anything I'd like to ask you at the moment. If I come up with something, I'll ask you later.", "c": ["Jennifer Aniston"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "Hey, you... you didn't get back together with me just so you could get Jennifer aniston back on the show, did you? Of course not.", "c": ["Paula", "Stevie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Conflict of Interest"}, {"t": "I just took the most incredible dump. I mean, I haven't had one like that since-- I believe-- Reagan was in the White House.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Bad things coming in threes. First my divorce, then the pool filter catching on fire, and now this.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Hmm? I said good morning. Ok. God! Don't be a prick about it.", "c": ["Paula", "Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Oh, look. Bitch expo '95 is in town. Could you pick me up a tee shirt, ok?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Is your grandmother alive? What? Is she alive? Yes. Well, fuck her. I'll get to Jimmy Smits when I get to it.", "c": ["Phil", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "I have a lump in my breast.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Don't hug, because then it feels serious and cancerous.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "And please stop staring at my tits.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "It's not just the fact that I might die, but my doctor said I can't have coffee anymore... It's turning me into a colossal bitch.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "I'll look through this hole... Is that close enough? Is that your thumb? What is that?", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Is that newt gingrich on the internet? No, what she's doing to my back.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "I was just getting ready to turn over, and sometimes the towel flips up. I've already seen that.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Hey, dad. Asshole.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "What, were you in vietnam?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "I think Brett Butler's in there.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Oh, damn. The day can turn to shit so quickly.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "The Butler did it.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "How do you come up with that stuff? Oh, my gifts are many and best not discussed.", "c": ["Brett", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Can I just peek under the towel one more time real quick?", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Oh, Bretty, you'll dream tonight.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Just buy bigger shovels and cry sometimes.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Just tell yourself that everything they write about you is true. That way it won't bother you.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "A man is lying on his deathbed not 5 miles from here, and these bloodsuckers, these leeches... A little respect for the soon-to-be dead, please.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "I guess you'd call it a lesbian thing.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "I've always loved women with a touch of sappho.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "We have k.d. lang on the show all the time. Although, the last time, Hank kept calling her 'sir.' That asshole.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Just because you done it once doesn't make you a dyke.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Sid was not from the old school. He was from the school they tore down to build the old school.", "c": ["Agent"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "He's dead. Or-- or near-dead.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Cold little bitch.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "You know, she couldn't give me a good massage because half the time her tongue got caught up in her hands.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "It'll be like Regis and Kathy Lee.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "I found a lump on one of my testicles... I made Elke Sommer cry in the middle of a dance rehearsal.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Because he was thinking about my left nut.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "That's the show I fucked up because of my titty.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Just go straight up your ass and turn left.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "You're not all getting on the elevator at once, are you? You kids, you're so crazy!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "It was a hiatal hernia. It's a rip in the esophagus... Fucking doctors! I mean, come on!", "c": ["Brian", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "If you say a person's not going to make it through the day, then he shouldn't make it. It's just so inconsiderate to just put us through this worry.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "[Hank cries]", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "So I say, 'hoist another cup of joe to lumpy.'", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "There's, like, no smoking in the office, dipshit. Fuck you. I'm, like, alive, dipshit.", "c": ["Unknown", "Paula"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Where in goddamn hell is the fire?! You scared the shit out of me! It's just the incense.", "c": ["Artie", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "You are so... unbelievable. You know what I remember 10 years ago? You're very, very selfish.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "I almost lost a-- I almost lost Sid today... Sid, take care of your esophagus.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "I got a massage. The woman did not stop talking... And plus, she wanted a very steep security and cleaning deposit which I did not get back afterwards.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "You get your mom a house and you figure whatever else you do with your money is ok if you get your mom a house.", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "I'm a WASP. Wasps don't have guilt, do they? Oh, no. But they have moms.", "c": ["Brett", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Hey, see what happens when you mess around with another chick? It's bad news, huh?", "c": ["Brett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "Oh, some dyke thing, I guess. Well, it appears I owe you $100.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "I Was a Teenage Lesbian"}, {"t": "It's only a little bit higher than the fucking page number, stevie.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "You just find some hip, funny guy and make him do all the work and you slap your name on it!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "I was, uh, ape number 3... in congo. I was the ape that fell out of the tree.", "c": ["Chris Elliott"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Actually, I had auditioned for ape number 2, but that was the ape that had to cry because of its... its baby. The ape was actually deeper than me.", "c": ["Chris Elliott"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Your audience doesn't realize it, but they're actually being treated to the new me. This is the first talk show that I've done post-hair transplant.", "c": ["Chris Elliott"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Did I say good show? Yes.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Or we can try somalia, jupiter, or up my ass.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "May I tell you how much I love your tostito commercials?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Or in my lovely teenage colon.", "c": ["Chris Elliott"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "What, uh, exactly is a teenage colon? It is, uh, a young, healthy colon, I guess.", "c": ["Larry", "Chris Elliott"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "He was a paper boy. Right. That didn't last very long, did it? Well, you know, it was on fox.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "I don't want to hear about your fucking fan club. Now get out of here. I'm misting.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "I hope I look that good when I'm 100. Looks like he's rotting from the inside.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "How come I'm never invited to those? Because, Hank, the circle is just so big, and you and I ain't in it.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Do they have to be friends or could they just know each other really well?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Oh, then he's definitely gay. I mean, honey, please, check out your track record.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "The black security guard? Gay. Fat grip? Gay. He's married. Yeah, to a big lesbian.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "I am a jockey. Funny. That is... that's a funny idea. Jockey's a funny word, funny underpants, funny... funny way to take a position.", "c": ["Chris Elliott", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "And that part of it is kind of like taxi, right. Which was one of my favorites. You know why I think that show was so successful? Because they were all, uh, friends.", "c": ["Chris Elliott", "Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "The key to producing is getting out of the way of the creative process. Oh, let me write that down. 'Get in the way of...' out. Get out of the way.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "'Ello. 'ello, old chap. 'ello. That is funny! London it is!", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "These are mashed potatoes. And they need a little salt. Amazing, great psychic!", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "How does someone your size... become a jockey? Well, that's what's funny about it. I mean, these are 5 guys that are terrible jockeys.", "c": ["Larry", "Chris Elliott"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "I guess in your perfect world, everybody would be holding hands and jumping into fountains.", "c": ["Chris Elliott"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Don't look at me. I have carpal tunnel from forging Larry's signature.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Oh, so, either he's gay or he was really, really thirsty. How could he be thirsty? He's the water man.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Gaydar never lies.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Well, use the fan club dues. Well, there's no money in that account. You used most of it up on that trip to acapulco.", "c": ["Hank", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "OK, repeat after me: I used that money to pay for the Hank Kingsley fan club newsletter.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "honestly, I've strayed into some awkward territory.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "You know, I'm straight from way back. Yeah!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "my... I... I come from a very meaty family. But I don't eat meat.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "My dad is 64, and, um, he has been a vegetarian for a week now. Proving that it's never too late.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "It's 90210, Hank. Please? We just hate Brenda.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "You're not American, but you speak American. That's pretty wild.", "c": ["New Water Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Eh, if I did, I would've killed myself when I was 90.", "c": ["Harlan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "So you got the coloreds working here, huh?", "c": ["Harlan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "So you got the coloreds working here, huh?", "c": ["Harlan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Oh, my God.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Who's Meg? Your wife! Well, I don't have a wife in this. This is the, uh... this is the second draft.", "c": ["Chris Elliott", "Network Executive", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Is he... are they still fucking jockeys in this?", "c": ["Chris Elliott"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "Moving is one. Um... the death of a spouse is another one. And moving your dead spouse is number 3.", "c": ["Kevin Nealon"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "I don't know. He fell down the stairs and broke his hip, and he's on his way back to arkansas. Well, what was he doing on the stairs, Artie? Falling, apparently.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "OK, well, basically, I play this doctor in an emergency room who heals people with his hands just by touching them.", "c": ["Kevin Nealon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Larry's Sitcom"}, {"t": "You know, American consumers will put up with a lot, but pillsbury realized that they had finally stepped over the line with anatomically correct poppin' fresh.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "All right. All right. So he's right once. Who cares?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "And then we could have a nosy black secretary. Oh, and who's gonna play that part? Oh, come on. You'll be great. You can do that black thing you always do.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "we can use the security guard with a lisp, because I don't think anybody's gone all the way with a lisp since truman capote passed away", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I believe that lisp is castilian Spanish. You know, like, barcelona... gracias.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "You're the one who doesn't have to listen to these pathetic guests bitch and moan every time there's a little change. Apparently, their little acting classes...", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "There's a moat... a canal that goes around the castle to protect it. In this case, the castle is our show, and the moat is between the staff and the talent.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "when the drawbridge goes up every night at 11:30, there's only one man in the castle... that's king Larry.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Jesus, can't you just say you don't like the idea without giving me all that other crap? I hate the fucking idea, OK? Because they'd be crossing the talent moat.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I don't know. I think a cardigan makes me look too geeky. You know? I'm supposed to be a gossip, not mister rogers.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "You know, there's a reason they sell day-old bread at half price.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "If you can get arrested every time you make love to something that doesn't move, I'm the next birdman of alcatraz.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I'm going right from here to a singles cemetery, by the way. 'Hey, so, what sign were you?'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I have never been able to go that long, I swear to God. 2 flips and I fall asleep.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "A fossil discovered in kenya shows that man was actually walking upright 4 million years ago and was married to Anna Nicole Smith", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I'm thinking of having breast implants put in my hands so it feels like I'm with someone.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Do you think they should wear swimsuits, Hank? Yes, I do, because I think we should have a... a choice.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I have no idea what that means, but I think... I think, personally, the swimsuits are sexist. I think they should wear more of a cocktail waitress outfit.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I wish I had known this before I went out and bought one of those big exercise wheels.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "There... there's the joke.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "The monologue seem a little weak to you tonight? That's because instead of writing, Phil spent all day reading uta hagen's respect for acting.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Would you stop worrying? We crossed the talent creek, and I don't think there's been a problem. It's the talent moat, and it goes around the castle...", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Oh, and don't get thrown by the lights in your face. Sometimes they're really bright and you can't see the cue cards, but you got your lines memorized, right?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "But... if they smell fear, they're gonna tear you to shreds.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Well, uh, today in your office, an older gentleman on our staff came in, took off his sweatpants and his briefs, and started sliding around on your leather sofa for about 45 minutes.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Well, didn't he see you standing there? No, because I was under your desk.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I could be the next Chris Elliott. I think the world is content with the current Chris Elliott.", "c": ["Phil", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Oh, really? Really? So someone said I wear a girdle? What? No. No. I'm sorry. No, they didn't. Did they say I need to wear a girdle?", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Uh, gee, I can't. I'm uh, playing with my peers.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I don't care about being famous or anything like that. No everyone wants to be famous. I don't, honest to God. I mean, it would be really cool if someone from pavement were to see this, but...", "c": ["Phil", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "You fuck you, asshole.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Don't worry about that... that thing you do with your voice. What thing? Well, it just... it just cracks a bit.", "c": ["Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "No, no, no, that's for... that's for men.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "why don't you tell me about it after the show when you're driving home and I'm not there?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I make phone calls. I ask people to do the show. Uh-huh. They say no. Right. I tell you, and you make me cry.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "you want to hold your chin up, 'cause it made your face look kind of chunky. I hate that word chunky. How chunky?", "c": ["Beverly", "Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Oh, I blew a guy on the way over here. How's that?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Here come the boat people.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "when I yell, 'we're clear,' I'm actually yelling, 'we're queer.' Oh, no, I never noticed that. Well, you know, it really busts up the crew.", "c": ["Kent", "Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "I'm the half-naked cue-card guy", "c": ["Sid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Usually, he's sitting in that prop room sniffing those magic markers. Yes. Now he's running around half-naked. What an improvement.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Oh, beverly, please do not play the race card", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "OK, look, we've veered off course, now we've come about. The wind is in our sails.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Don't give me your country club metaphor bullshit! I told everybody I know that I was going to be on television. I even got my legs waxed.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "But, hey, you bounced back, and now you got your own hit TV series", "c": ["Courteney Cox"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "we rode the pony all night long. Yuck. That is disgusting. No, no, it was beautiful, and her kid only woke up once.", "c": ["Phil", "Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "Iove sparky, popo, the kid with the shaved head.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "where you walk out onto the street and actually try to pay your bus fare with a meatloaf. Or... meatloaf? Well, it doesn't have to be meatloaf. It could be, you know, spackling compound.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "There is no... there is no land. Where are you going? That's not land. There's only water. Hi, neighbor. Can I borrow some sugar? You can't borrow some sugar. There's no sugar. There's only water.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "This guy's making us all look bad.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's Big Idea"}, {"t": "it was made of salami.", "c": ["Unknown performer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Hey... buona notte. That's-a nice suit.", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Well, I can see the morta della constellation.", "c": ["Unknown performer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "And the planet bologna.", "c": ["Unknown performer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Oh, and there goes the entire 'piccoloaf' galaxy.", "c": ["Unknown performer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Mmm... God, this salami stinks.", "c": ["Unknown performer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Well, that's 'cause you're looking through the wrong end.", "c": ["Unknown performer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Evidently, Bob barker has no remaining sense of smell.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "No. It's very difficult to find someone who can make a salami telescope that looks functional and that doesn't stink.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Artie, I don't smell, do I?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "9:00? That's too late. I can change it to 8:00. Ahem. 8:30? Well... 8:30. 9:00 sounds right. All right.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "They have an umbrella cockatoo that already says, 'hello, daddy.'", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Tasmanian two tufted canary has a lovely bel canto. \u266abr-r-r-r-r \u266a \u266ar-r-roo-roo \u266a", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "I honestly don't want to see Leno get one fucking new viewer just because they disagree with my stand on affirmative action and don't know his opinion about anything.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Um, do you want Mexican food or Japanese food tonight?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "This show is like the waltons. They got their little colored girl takin' out the garbage.", "c": ["Clyde"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "You wanna be the only fly in the buttermilk?", "c": ["Clyde"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Too much affirmative talk and not enough action.", "c": ["Clyde"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "He's gonna be askin' you to shine his shoes.", "c": ["Clyde"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Say, beverly, listen, you know those shoes the wardrobe department sent over? ...would you mind lacin' them up?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Close enough?", "c": ["Clyde"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "His skirt was at the dry cleaners, so there was a conflict. He couldn't do it.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Because black people find Larry to be white.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "You want me to turn gay, don't you? Oh... yes, please. Make all of San Francisco's dreams come true.", "c": ["Hank", "Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Oh, well, Larry won't hire them. I mean, personally, I think it's terrible. I think it's unfortunate and embarrassing for all of us, but, as Larry said, in the super-secret memo, 'if it ain't white, it ain't right.'", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "You are such an asshole, Phil, you know that? Yeah. You know, if you're writing an article, don't use my name.", "c": ["Beverly", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "It's just Larry hogs all the freebies.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "She's in love with wesley snipes. Well, he's really cute, but I... excuse me.", "c": ["Paula", "Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "People always say that, but, you know, when I put the stuff on my face, I break out. She can get her money back.", "c": ["Beverly", "Paula"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "It's a fruit phone. Put the banana up to your ear.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Well... if you mean can he make a salami telescope, yeah, I think so.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Black people will never have as much experience as white people because up till 10 years ago, black people had no props.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "I would like some yogurt.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Baby, you're talkin' like it's Friday, and it's only Wednesday.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Yeah. Well, if Larry asks, tell him I went out to get his yogurt.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Forget our confusion. You know, we always had the impression that Hank was an only child.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "It's all connections. That's how your... your son got the job. Good-looking boy.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Hello. Larry Sanders show. Who's calling? Larry's in a meeting at the moment. Could you please hold? Thank you and... cheerio.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "I'm having a stroke.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Well, I see that talent runs like a cancer through the Kingsley household.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "otherwise elly may will be cutting up your fruit and telling you how loverly the show was last night.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "I have... I, honestly, I have no more niks, and I use a paring knife.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "if it's a weeknight.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "you must just go home and rub cash on your face.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Are you two married? No.", "c": ["Victoria Principal", "Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Are you two married? No.", "c": ["Victoria", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "It's like when I met Jack nicholson, I died. I mean, I started kicking everyone all around. People thought it was some sort of an earth tremor or something.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "It's an elizabeth Taylor night light, and she just whipped it up in 15 seconds. ...And, by the way, this is actual hair.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Listen, not only is it ugly, it's a fire hazard. If Larry turned this on, he'd go up in flames.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "$800 a week. Stick with Larry.", "c": ["Beverly's father", "Beverly's father"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "I came to your office, and you were wearing genie pants and a turban. I thought it was so hysterical.", "c": ["Beverly (reading letter)"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "I wish I could give you a big, hot kiss, but I know that would make you feel awkward.", "c": ["Beverly (reading letter)"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "I haven't eaten anything but cereal for the last 3 days.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "That's why we haven't had him on. You're fun.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Oh, hell, cut the crap. That's not your sister. I saw you dry-humping under the bleachers.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Fucked by the black man again?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Fucked by the black man again?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "You know how hard it is to work on somethin' that little? First your eyes, they start to water, and then the headaches creep up.", "c": ["Clyde"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Did you ever think would heavy d would let hisself get that fat? I don't think I could let myself get that fat.", "c": ["Clyde"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "Um, it's about clyde. Oh, what now? Is there any way we could get rid of him? No.", "c": ["Beverly", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Beverly and the Prop Job"}, {"t": "I had a smoke detector installed in my ass, and I don't hear any beeping", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "My ass takes 'd' cells. I'll check it later.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I'd do it, Hank, but I made plans to put all my cash in a bag and toss it over a cliff", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I can't even afford a bag", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "We should just hire a fucking woodpecker for a sidekick", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Don't think of her as a person. Just think of her as an employee.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Oh! I was just stretching.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Can't wait to meet your sisters the Pinta and the Santa Maria", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I've heard that one before. Well, it dates back to 1492. I don't doubt it.", "c": ["Nina", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh! Why weren't the cameras still rolling?!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Frasier goes on date. My God in heaven! Don't let me forget to set my VCR!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Phil, scurry back to your hutch and cogitate a little more, my boy", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "If we do this desk piece, the audience will rush the stage and burn down the desk", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Don't tell us! Tell the career suicide hotline! Bye-bye!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Well, that's what separates you from the others. It's a classic. It works, you know?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "What cologne are you wearing? Sand dabs. I don't like to eat them. I just rub them on.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I am a sick fuck. I'm a sick, sick fuck.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "No, you're a great fuck.", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Because you're just clearly younger than me and yet more together, and I find that depressing.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Nacho?", "c": ["Nina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Promise? Cheese?", "c": ["Larry", "Nina"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I don't think so. I didn't adopt her, I just slept with her.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Wouldn't I like to give her the old pork sausage? Hello, Jimmy Dean. Enh. Enh.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Larry? I wanna thank you for 8 wonderful years. This is my gift to you. And I love you.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Comes the waterworks. I'm outta here.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "If anybody should be fucking her, it should be me. I'm closer to her age than Larry.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Between the O.J. verdicts, Showgirls, and Larry dating an 18-year-old, that's it. I'm killing myself.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "And no jury in the world would convict you.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I can look at anyone, except Victoria Principal, and guess exactly how old they are.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I go to see a movie, I guess, probably once every couple weeks. Absolutely. Right. There you go.", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "John Stamos"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "You can get alcohol there just in case the show's a little slow.", "c": ["John Stamos"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Are you seeing anyone? What's going on... no. No. No, single. Single. Yes. Dating around? What do you... yeah, well. Yeah. Who you dating? Anyone we know? Anyone... no. No one... no one to speak of.", "c": ["Larry", "John Stamos"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "We've been together 8 years... being sentimental. You know. I just... but in a professional, platonic way.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "You are very close to sexual harassment.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "What the fuck do you think you're doing? It's a beautiful song, and I have feelings, and thank you for ruining it.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I don't give a fuck about a horse. I have a car.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Or should I say, glad you could Sta-mos?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.73, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "This appears to be the Saved by the Bell reunion.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Hey, they let O.J. go, didn't they? Come on. Isn't that enough?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "That's good, well, maybe they'll pop for the bill. One can only hope.", "c": ["Shawn Colvin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "We just lie in bed together and laugh at you.", "c": ["Nina's parents"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I often read the menu right before I actually order. Otherwise, I find them boring.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "He jumped the rail, and he dumped the jockey, and he ran across the infield... he got into the parking lot and out onto Colorado Boulevard.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I don't know how, but he got into the parking lot and out onto colorado Boulevard.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "We should be expecting 2, maybe 3 lawsuits.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "You need to go through a lot of pain to be interesting.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I didn't get interesting until after my first marriage, and then I was so fucking interesting, I couldn't get out of bed for a month.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Fucking John Stamos. I can't believe they're still there.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "I talked to John Stamos for 11 minutes the other night on the show, and you want... I nearly went into a coma.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "You're gonna have a great time.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "0.409"}, {"t": "Oh, damn it, Phil, how many times do I have to tell you, the shrimp are for guests?", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Fat-free snackwells in the kitchenette. Get away from those shrimp, damn it, you bottomless pit.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Don't expect anything from me during the kd lang segment tonight. I don't. I never do.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "She did nothing, so I told her to go fuck herself. Well, so far, there's no surprise there.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "And that, by the way, is a milestone we never reached with any of our wives.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "You speak for yourself, Artie. I have some great clips from my last marriage.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "What about the monkey grabbing your nuts? That's a classy one.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "So I'm to assume Mandy patinkin is only on tonight so you can get good seats for the next sondheim fuck fest at the Hollywood bowl?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I'm getting seats right behind home plate. Get a foul tip.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "You're expecting a lull? Lull? Who said lull? I said Phil. Phil!", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Lorenzo is the stupidest driver in history. He's supposed to pick up rosie o'Donnell. He picks up Chris o'Donnell and takes him to the rose bowl.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I had to park 3 miles away, next to the day players from the Jeff foxworthy show.", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, you could try. Still more. I'll kill myself and all others like me. Perfect.", "c": ["Rosie", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I thought you were gonna have me change right here in the hallway.", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Didn't recognize you without your chain saw.", "c": ["kd lang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I've always enjoyed bleeding from my ears.", "c": ["kd lang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "You still vacuum in the nude? Why don't you get some blinds for that glass door, you sick fuck?", "c": ["kd lang"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "It kind of turns you on, though, doesn't it?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "it seems longer than 8, doesn't it?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Does it seem like 8 to you, Hank? Yes.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I never get tired of you, and the sex is as fresh as ever.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I think the reason is is because we have no expectations and it is always a surprise when it happens.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "[Awkward silence and laughter from audience]", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Bill Clinton saw them out there and opened his door up and said 'please, please take whatever you want. Just don't hurt my family.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "You know, what is wrong with him? I mean, how scared is he? It's a talk show. You'd think the man could just talk, all right?", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "he's playing golf again. Evidently, he believes the real killer is somewhere on the back 9.", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "He evidently got a triple-bogey on one of the holes, and tried to blame it on a Colombian drug lord.", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "You're upset because nobody watches your show.", "c": ["Noah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Noah... noah, you're acting like a fucking 2-year-old.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Yeah. I told you I should have peed before I went on.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I'm quick. I'll be sitting, but I'm quick on my ass.", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "We had that when we had Chuck grodin on.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "We've been on 8 years. How long has Chicago hope been on? We, uh, we're going in... this is our second year.", "c": ["Larry", "Mandy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "That is Mandy, uh, thinking.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I'm going to ask you to tell me about your circumcision because I... Could tell from the way you're pushing this cd that you've had one.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I've had 8. they keep going back for more, and frankly it is to the point now where it is whittled down to nothing.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "My brand-new $42,000 acura legend has a big Dent in it. Why, you might ask, do I have my own car here on the lot parked 3 miles away? Because the limo didn't show up! So farrah fawcett decided to hit my new car!", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Oh, Jesus, he's doing the potty dance. Get a clamp.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I've never used the phrase 'inter-medical' before.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I suggest that you don't constantly look to the right.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Johnny wanted me to tell you how much he enjoys your show. Don't you need to drain your lizard?", "c": ["Fred", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "What else did Johnny have to say? Uh, nothing about you.", "c": ["Larry", "Fred"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Clear the hallways, 'cause my dick is going to be out, and it's going to be spraying.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Thanks very much, but you haven't seen my lungs.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Somebody's in here.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but this takes a lot longer than it used to.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I just nicked her car. You know, the morons at the gate are making such a big deal about this.", "c": ["Farrah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I just nicked her car. You know, the morons at the gate are making such a big deal about this.", "c": ["Farrah Fawcett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I'm going. / Wait, wait. No, no, no. Just take it...", "c": ["George Segal", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Did he get circumcised? Yes, he did, in fact. I was listening.", "c": ["Larry", "Rosie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "It's that insertion around the side to loosen the... and the mother was crying, being... Look at all the men crunching over.", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "Listen to me, Larry, a real man can hold his urine, OK?", "c": ["Rosie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "This carpet can't take any more ur--", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "This is the best anniversary show we've ever done.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Eight"}, {"t": "I thought the guest host was a big surprise. Did you know sandra was going to host the show? No. Surprise. She's hosted the show 11 times already. Well, surprise. She's going to do it again.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I swear to God, I forgot what the last thing was.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Yeah, Hank. Maybe you could show her your video where you're supporting one woman's rights while another woman is blowing you.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I also had my penis inverted into a vagina 'cause I figured once I had my eyes done, I'd want to get the whole thing done.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "She's a nurse on ER.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Oh! And yet, I look at you, and I just want to be bald.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Hank plays an indian who sits on his own arrow.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I mean, if they want me to be Larry, why don't they just dress me up in one of Larry's purple suits and have me limp over to the desk and act like I have no reason to live?", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "No. I just assumed it was near the freeway when it's called the on-ramp theatre.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "This guy's addicted to crack, and I have a scene where he can't decide whether to kill himself or to masturbate.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Please come, because if you don't come, I might start doing crack again.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "We love our guests. I love my job.", "c": ["Hank", "Brian"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Women, thank God, are now equal with men, and... although, I gotta tell you, I think men are just a little stronger... but in all other areas, equal. Especially at the crunch. You know... sex time.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I was just busily pleasing myself, but now I realize, thanks to you, people like you, it's a 2-way street, and I want to thank you.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Great ass.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Let me guess. Are you pissed because you didn't get to host again?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I'll have Paula give you the phone number of my buddy oliver stone.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I tell you there's a conspiracy, and you tell me to put on makeup, but then she walks in, tells you, and you're all ears. It's always about you, isn't it?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Who knew I was gonna come floating out here in a pair of manolo blahnik lucite high heels... that I happened to borrow from Larry.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "but I'm just here to kind of abuse you again and tell you that's what I do. Nyah! No.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "The managers usually stay in the green room by the shrimp plate.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "All right? Now, I'm not saying that I want to see Gary on the cover of allure, but I can bet one thing. Naomi campbell wouldn't have dragged her tired ass over to my house to fix my hot water heater, OK?", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I know you got this thing set up to hide the bolts in Larry's neck.", "c": ["Sandra"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "That's a rabbit.", "c": ["Rob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "That's the rectum.", "c": ["Rob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Hank, want to get in here and do a quick exam? No. Just kidding.", "c": ["Sandra", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Well, that depends on what day of the week it is. I believe on Monday it's Manhattan clam chowder.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I think we should give Hank the next 2 weeks off. What do you think?", "c": ["Ellen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "You know what, Larry? I can't check the swelling if you don't let me touch it.", "c": ["Julianna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "You start tightening up your face, it just makes your ass look enormous.", "c": ["Julianna"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I think it's learned how to read.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Do you know if he's gay? Because I'd blow him.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "You will? You'll get down on your knees and you'll put his penis in your mouth?", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Well, since you put it that way, I guess it's not so appealing.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "She's evil and fat and she wants your show.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Maybe Mark fuhrman planted it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Friday is 'mystery meat.'", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I've had no surgery at all.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "In the middle of the second act, a car flew off the freeway, crashed through the wall of the theater, and took out the first couple of rows. Fortunately, no one was there.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Oh, he's on crack.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Um... 3-8. But sandra got a younger demographic.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "I was just saying to my dog Bob packwood, I said...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "evidently hoping to take another whack at it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Maybe 8 years of Larry is enough.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Larry's on Vacation"}, {"t": "Really? Which one? George Mcatee. He's a wonderful Character actor. He played the janitor With the shaky leg On episode 14.", "c": ["Network Executive", "Arthur"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "How, may you ask? Well, they're all The same man-- john tesh.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Well, Of course not. No. That would be The news.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "A permanent guest host Is a backup quarterback. Ooh, I'm so sorry, Melanie. I don't follow sports. I love those earrings.", "c": ["Arthur"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "My god, if this car gets me Just one third the pussy That man got, I die a happy man. Don't put yourself down. I bet you get half.", "c": ["Hank", "Brian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be One of those sad Male menopause guys, You know, drivin' around In their sports car, You know, looking for pussy. Nothing sadder.", "c": ["Elvis Costello"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "That's why they sold Alaska to us for-- For nothing.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "by louis farrakhan's Account We have 750,000 here tonight.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "this is The first time in a long time That someone Was actually trying To get out of madonna.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Calling her, Uh, mom 'mama.' Calling her dad 'Sperm donor.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "It's like the shining up here. This damn show.", "c": ["David Duchovny"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "\u00a1hola, jefe! \u00a1gracias, senoritas and caballeros! 2 more shows, And it's a week Of fun in the sun. These language tapes Are really Paying off for you.", "c": ["Hank", "Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "I hope you don't ask Everyone you meet Which way My peter teeters.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Do you know what I'm talking about? Huh?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "I spent last night Out at hollywood park, Begging for jump-starts From race-track scum. This morning I had a delightful hour On the side of the 405, Rehanging the muffler With my goddamn necktie.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "But I spent twice Your annual salary On this car. It blows out smoke That smells like A dead horse. When I touch the cd player And the steering wheel At the same time I get a shock. And the engine stalls out If I cut a fart.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "What you're smelling Is pure driving power.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Of course there's Something wrong. Get a fucking mop And meet me in the garage.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Then we have This other thing, Which reminds me A lot of my old show, Which was not as popular, And, in fact, They stopped making.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "The incomparable Charles nelson reilly. Again?", "c": ["Artie", "Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "'The truth Is out there.' What does that mean? It's from the show.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Yeah, look at me. I'm gorgeous. I'm just fucking gorgeous.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "I don't think They think about sex When they watch you. Really? Really, but I haven't Exactly taken a survey.", "c": ["Brian", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "A third think he's gay, A third think he's bi, And the rest don't care. They just want to Kiss him anyways, Which would be me.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Tally ho, fuck face!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Your car's on fire. God damn it! God damn it! When were you Gonna tell me?!", "c": ["Staff Member", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "I'm gonna talk To brent musberger About abc, And then talk To zsa zsa gabor About brent musberger, And then just Ride that crest Right into Charles nelson reilly. Then I'm gonna hang myself With my own shoelaces.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Friends? Uh, well, The blowfish are. Hootie-- hootie Seems aloof.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Jon, was your car Parked next to Hank's? Yeah, thank you. That's a great spot.", "c": ["Staff Member", "Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "You're just trying To get in good With Jon Stewart So that when He pushes me out You'll have a job.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Oh, Larry, Your girlfriend's On the phone. You better hurry. He's in a good mood Today.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "What are you doing? I'm mocking him Because he's an asshole.", "c": ["Unknown", "Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Man, I should've Learned my lesson When I bought That moped from sting. There's your problem. You don't buy Anything from sting.", "c": ["Hank", "Elvis Costello"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "I am flattered That you are attracted To me and everything, But I don't think I can really respond, Because, clearly, you-- And I support it Completely-- are gay, And I'm straight. That's, um, I'm-- That's ok. I'm not-- I'm not gay. I'm-- I'm also straight.", "c": ["Larry", "David Duchovny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "It's the kind of feeling That I normally have With a woman I like. It's like a warmth Or a buzz. It's definitely A heterosexual feeling, But it's directed At you. It's very Confusing to me.", "c": ["David Duchovny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "With what you pay me, You're lucky You got the guitar.", "c": ["Elvis Costello"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "Oh, he's got a little Mad cow disease. Ah, we'll keep him Out of england.", "c": ["Larry", "Elvis Costello"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "I have seen that Three times.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "God, you really care About me, don't you? Are you uncomfortable? A little bit.", "c": ["David Duchovny", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "You know, you talk To people on television, Next thing, They think that you're Their new best friend.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Everybody Loves Larry"}, {"t": "\"applesauce.\" No, no. I'm kidding. It says \"applause.\"", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "which is a huge relief to the ranger who was in charge of putting condoms on them.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "'cause now it means, you know, you'll live longer, and it'll give you more time to enjoy those huge new breasts.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "had him cremated, and his remains sprinkled on 1/2 a grapefruit.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Concern and support makes Larry think something's wrong, so let's just act like nothing's happened.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Those are the last 2 words I want to hear out of your mouth.", "c": ["Artie", "Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Good morning, master Sanders.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "I was a swimsuit model in the I can't believe it's a guy catalogue.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "What did I just tell you?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "I know, I know. I dodged a bullet.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "And do what?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "hurt me as much as it hurt you. Really? Well, even though my... my name wasn't mentioned.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "there is no new curtain.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Don't do a TV movie with your daughter. No. Don't, uh... sell jewelry. No. Don't go on E!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Put me down for a charm bracelet.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "What was wrong with last night's crowd? Where did they come in from? Whew!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "He claims that he was just doing research for his starring role in his next big film, the Robert downey Jr. Story.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Actually, I believe it was the recycler. I believe that's what he writes for now.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Tom, this is a needy talk show host, pal. This is a needy talk show host.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "I don't mind that he made a joke about me I just wish it was funny.", "c": ["Tom Shales"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "The song? It's \"king of pain.\" He's an asshole. He knows. He read it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "'Cause it's Hank's.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Dear dumbfuck", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "\"Dear dumbfuck\"?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "It'll be like sex.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Well, I thought it was about me, but maybe it's about you.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Larry 'suck my cock' Sanders.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "that may work in your little gay paradise, but this is my life, OK?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "I swear to God that I don't believe the 700 club would be on today.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Everyone is a joy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "I just got a $1,000 electric Bill. That's high, right?", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "That's high, right?", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "I have 100 refrigerators, and they're all open. That's how I cool my house.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "I'll go home tonight and wake up my 9-year-old son and ask him what he thought.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Really, you're just ringing phones at random in their giant... until someone walks by and, you know... 'hello? Well, how many refrigerators do you have?'", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Well, you, uh... you sit next to someone for 8 years, and you, uh... you think you know them, but, uh, you don't.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Well, I thought he said that your face was puffy. Yeah, he said that, too.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "At least you have the guts to get out there in front of millions of people and be needy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "\"Dear Larry... Tom shales is my favorite writer. Sincerely, Hank 'blow me' Kingsley.\"", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Another indication it's Phil.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Was that sickening?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "I did that show. Bill maher hit on me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "I did that show. Bill maher hit on me", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "You've had other critics. You had gene siskel, that big fat Roger ebert... gene shalit, rex Reed. Never me.", "c": ["Tom Shales"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "I didn't get any fax.", "c": ["Tom Shales"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "So, um... I forwarded your fax to that asshole this morning.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "You dumbfuck.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "My Name is Asher Kingsley"}, {"t": "Now I can get rid of Stephanie.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Larry, she just had a baby.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "She was pregnant?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "He said this chair is just like having sex.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "So I'll sit in it a couple of times, it'll complain, and then I'll sell it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "What is perfectly adorable, good as new, and has 7 tiny little dents in it?", "c": ["Tom Poston"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Is he on the show? He just came in to tell us that joke?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "What's not to feel?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "But from today on, it would mean so much to me if each of you referred to me as Hank Lepstein.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "This is more along the lines of a preemptive strike.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "He's a sweet guy. He's a genius guy. Not so pretty, but awfully sweet.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "You know, the drinking and the gambling and the cheap sex, and I mean-- oh, what a waste of time.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Why don't you just lie down there, I'll get you a cold cloth, you poor bastard.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "They run this town. They run it a hell of a lot better than the Asians.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Morality's just gonna get in the way.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "And I don't want you to fuck that up.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Larry's a talk show host.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "You're not even Jewish. I am Jewish. No, you're not. I am Jewish!", "c": ["Hank", "Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "You complained to me because it made you look too Jewish.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "At least I'm smart enough not to worship a god that sits in the middle of a Chinese restaurant with a sign that says, 'Rub my belly for luck.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "A rabbi fits more nicely into a show business environment.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Well, Phil, I can't believe you're a comedy writer, but we have to take them both on faith.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "This would be a real good place to hide the matzo on Passover.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Catholic priests can't do that, which is why I believe so many of them have prostate problems.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Yom Kippur and the 4th of July.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "As a Jew you're almost a Methodist.", "c": ["Rabbi Susan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Call me Susan.", "c": ["Rabbi Susan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "You have soft skin. I mean-- I mean, for a rabbi.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Please don't have sex with Hank before the show. It makes his blood sugar drop.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "A friend loveth at all times, but, um, a brother is born for adversity.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Sally Field wore her hat on The Flying Nun and look at that. That was a big show.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "That was a show about a flying nun.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "I'd like to tour the rest of the place.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "I am on God's team, and this is God's cap.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "And besides, I am-- I am looking at the postseason.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "When I was 12, I got baptized, and I didn't shut up about it until a year later when I got laid.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "I talk to the man upstairs on my own time and not in the middle of 'Larry's Funny Photos.'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "He even made sure that he left early for midnight mass.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Somebody has been sitting in my chair. Did they also eat your porridge, too? You know, like Goldilocks and the three bears.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "But I am behind the camera, where the viewing public cannot see me.", "c": ["Stu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "We live in a racist society. Even behind the camera, apparently.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "You're an uncle Tom.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "They just get a little-- [mimics shock] Little butt hummer.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Uncle Miltie never wore a yarmulke on his show and neither did Jack Benny.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "You'll get this yarmulke when you pry it off my cold dead head.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Be careful, she's a hot box here.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Like the-- Like the Hebrews at Masada.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Yeah, that sounds like a woman.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Yeah, that sounds like a woman.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Right on, sister.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "What the hell are orange Jews?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "Maybe he's referring to the orange juice you endorse.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "That's what the Olsen twins say.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "[Screams, whimpering] My ass feels like it's on fire!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "I thought it was Phil.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Where is the Love?"}, {"t": "They'll find me in the spring buried in the snow like one of those fucking dead moose.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "No, you didn't. You already booked reservations at my favorite restaurant. You're surprising me with a cake-- Chocolate hazelnut.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Well, if we had better numbers, we wouldn't need to go on the road to get better numbers.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "How thoughtful of me.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Oh, you can't go sneaking up on people like that! This is the copy room. I came in to make a copy.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Are you smoking pot? No. I'm just making a copy of something.", "c": ["Mary Lou", "Beverly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Next time he asks me out, I'm gonna say yes.", "c": ["Mary Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "How can you make that much money for just standing around gossiping? Oh, don't you just hate 'em? They have nothing better to do than just snoop in other peoples' business.", "c": ["Beverly", "Mary Lou"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "It was eva gabor... It was her first orgasm, and she just couldn't thank me enough.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Zsa Zsa was at the wheel. Oh, mama! And I was-- as you might say-- I was working under the hood.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "It's a wallet. It's got a fish on it. Oh, that's a nice one. You like it? Yeah. Ok. You--it's yours. Really? 'Cause I need a new wallet.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "No, no, that's 3 o'clock. 12 o'clock! No, this is 12 o'clock. No, you're 3. I'm 12 o'clock.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "That lady is a lightning rod of sexual controversy. I smell ratings.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Are you our waiter? I am your waiter. Gee, I thought things were going so well.", "c": ["Ellen", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Thursday we've got superman, hercules, and dr. Quinn medicine woman. Wow. Well, then, some other time. No, no, hercules can go fuck himself.", "c": ["Larry", "Ellen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "I'll get some rolls and I'll come back. Get bread rolls. Whatever you want. Yeah, sourdough is good. You got it. I--I may not be back for a couple of days.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Oh, for god sakes. How come every time you see 2 women together, you automatically think they're gay? We're together. Does that mean we're gay?! No, but the night's still young.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "You've got all of Hank's lines under the name 'Nurse libido.' That's his name in the sketch. Yeah, haven't I told you that you never write Hank's character name on the card? You have to write 'hank,' or he won't read it.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Just because you make more money than me doesn't mean you're my boss. Are you nuts? I worked for bob hope. You should be kissing my ass that I even print your shit.", "c": ["Phil", "Writer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Then why do they pay me 1,000 times what you make, huh, jerkby? It's 5 times.", "c": ["Writer", "Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Christ, this is the budget. Where did you get this? From my ass!", "c": ["Phil", "Writer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Well, listen, I believe I know more about homosexuality than you two. After all, I'm the one with the gay assistant.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "And that's--that's why I know she's a doughnut humper. Bumper. That's why I know she's a doughnut bumper.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "They would let us do the fucking show from between Anna nicole smith's titties.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Jesus, Hank is the most overpaid man in show business.", "c": ["Jake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Oh, those jerks. They spelled my name wrong. Oh, that--Trollop! Yeah, he is.", "c": ["Writer", "Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "I--I make $5.00 more a week than you make? Yeah. I mean, don't you think you should make a little bit more than me? Yeah, but I only make $5.00 more than you.", "c": ["Brian", "Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Have you ever waxed Larry's back? Have you ever poked around in great dane shit looking for a ring?", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "I mean, john lithgow isn't really from outer space. Well, you don't know him as well as I do. I think there's a good chance he is.", "c": ["Ellen", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "All that publicity and we're still getting our ass kicked by the nanny. That hurts.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "And then I kiss you. And then--then you can decide. That could be funny. Yeah. Yeah. Like, um... Like this.", "c": ["Ellen", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "[Ellen kisses Larry]", "c": ["Ellen", "Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "God, what a surprise. Yeah. That is--Jesus. I mean, where did you learn all that? Oh, camp.", "c": ["Larry", "Ellen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Tonight, Ellen has a secret, and Larry's got it!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Unless she had sex with her mother. Now, that would be a great cue. 'Tonight on Larry Sanders, Ellen sleeps with her mother! It's a family affair!'", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "What if she's not a lesbian? Did you guys ever think of that? Oh, man. I--she's a lesbian, I can tell. I've had sex with a lesbian.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "You gotta have sex with 2 lesbians. That's the whole point.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "I need to make more money. Phil! What? Oh, I'm sorry. Did I just say that out loud? I've been saying it over and over in my head, and I guess one just slipped out.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "This is our opportunity here to kick leno's fucking ass!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "I recently caught an old cosby rerun, and suddenly my character's a black, 50-year-old gynecologist, and I just--no more.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "I'm trying to scramble some of these words around to form a sentence.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Would the character of Ellen ever sleep with a man? Well, sure, if he were feminine enough.", "c": ["Larry", "Ellen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.64, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "I didn't sleep with him. Am--am--am I the only host you've slept with? Am I the only guest you've slept with?", "c": ["Ellen", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Very, very, very, funny. I not only peed me pants, I shat them.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "So, I guess I should say that I, last night, slept with Larry Sanders.", "c": ["Ellen"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.84, "im": 9.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "What's odd, though, it seemed--you seemed very uncomfortable with me on top, and I thought, 'Why is it?' But then again, you seemed uncomfortable with me on the bottom, too.", "c": ["Ellen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "He must have--he must have asked me 3 times, 'How am I doing?' And so, uh... That was, uh--that was sweet of you.", "c": ["Ellen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "I woke up this morning thinking that there was something very amazing. Thing's that I'd never felt before, and I realized I was laying on your hairbrush at one point.", "c": ["Ellen"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "I guess we'll be doing the show from Bakersfield now.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Ellen, or Isn't She?"}, {"t": "Goes great with your lipstick.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Now, what is this, some kind of face caulk?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Could I have your job? / No.", "c": ["Kevin", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Hey, mind if I borrow some of your bronzer for my penis? It doesn't get out much.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "I can't eat anything out of a man's pocket.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Larry does all the punch lines around here.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "As do I. / Something else we have in common.", "c": ["Phil", "Wendy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "You guys sound like an Irish spring commercial.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Oh, good welding school. / A lot of arrogant welders there.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Larry, girls just aren't that funny.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Yeah, when you quit hookers you put on 10 pounds. That's why I wear the patch. The pussy patch.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Dr. Jack kevorkian recently attended his 41St suicide. He announced that the 50th suicide would receive a free tote bag.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Arr, fuck my eye, matey.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Larry doesn't do bunny jokes, OK?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Well, then you can use it tonight to impress the girls at the whorehouse.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Hey, man, I don't need jokes to impress the girls at the whorehouse.", "c": ["Unknown writer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "That's great. I love John Wayne. / I thought it was George Gobel. / No, it's Prince Charles. / And you guys can go fuck yourselves.", "c": ["Multiple writers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "I've written 100 jokes. He hasn't seen one joke?", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Fucker.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "They're hilarious if you're doing a Tracey Ullman sketch.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Larry, girls just aren't that funny.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Larry, girls just aren't that funny.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "You know, I hid my tampons because somebody was stealing them. Now I can't remember where I hid them.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "I do that with my boyfriends.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Kevin and Larry sitting in a tree, K-L-S-S-L-N-G", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "You look like a pumpkin.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "what's wrong with your face, sweetie? You look like a pumpkin. / Oh, Jesus. Can't a man wear a little bronzer? / I'm sure if Kevin wore bronzer everyone would just love it.", "c": ["Unknown", "Hank", "Hank"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "The Vatican said Pope John Paul II will take a couple of weeks to recover from an appendectomy, which seems like a long time to me, because the lord himself died and was up and around in 3 days.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Scientists actually say in a recent study that 10,000 years from now Disneyland and Disney World will actually be touching.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Marion Barry today... hey, how's it going? Drank a big glass of... do you have Louise's number for me? City water at a press conference... hey, Eddie, give me your... to prove it was safe.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "I have prostate cancer.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Your mother must have really fucked you up, Phil.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Those lame observations about shopping that you call jokes? / Oh, my God! I've never written a joke about shopping, Phil. But you wouldn't know that, because you don't read my jokes.", "c": ["Phil", "Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "And how come there's only one green one? / Uh, that's, um, Ed's. He's not pulling his weight.", "c": ["Larry", "Phil"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "All right. Let's find the Ross Perot joke. I'll start with that. / OK. Uh... I think it's blown off of your desk. / Blown off? / What the fuck is this? Did Rip Taylor just come through here?", "c": ["Larry", "Phil", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "And you treated me like shit since day one so fuck you.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Good job, Phil.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "There were doing nothing, quicklier! / When they did nothing much more quickly.", "c": ["Phil", "Wendy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "You think people are sitting around Hollywood going, 'I wish I could have Hank Kingsley's job because then I'd have it made'?", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "I'd fucking kill myself if I had your job.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "And now, because he just can't stop doing the macarena, Larry Sanders!", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "And me, Kevin nealon, filling in for 'hey now' Hank Kingsley.", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Madonna said she's actually going to breast-feed her daughter, and what's particularly nice is madonna said she can go right to the front of the line.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "You must get laid almost never.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Evidently she has caller I.D. / Who would have known?", "c": ["Kevin", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "You know, I said, 'you're hilarious.' You said, 'you're very funny.' They're not... they're not equivalent at all.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Oh, they're not sure, but they think I might have swallowed a small chicken bone at lunch and it just sort of came up on me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Oh, they're not sure, but they think I might have swallowed a small chicken bone at lunch and it just sort of came up on me. / Oh. / But after a very thorough examination, the doctor gave me some tums.", "c": ["Hank", "Unknown", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "My wife will never divorce me, 'cause she knows if she does, I get half of everything.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "So could, I think, everybody.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "The New Writer"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! You sound just like you do in the movies. Stupid is as stupid does.", "c": ["Marylou"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Remember when you were in bosom buddies and you had that wig on?", "c": ["Marylou"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "This is not the cat counter at petco, OK?", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Are you crying? Please, don't do that.", "c": ["Hank", "Brian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "His boyfriend, Hank. They've been together for over a year and a half. Oh, my God. I didn't know that.", "c": ["Beverly", "Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Well, that makes one of us.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "God! Kiss ass much?", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Did you ask if she'd sleep with you? 'Cause then you nailed it.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Mmm, missed a spot. No, on your face.", "c": ["Hank", "Beverly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Um, Larry, I wasn't in that movie.", "c": ["Nicolette Sheridan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Well, why don't we take a break, and we'll come right back, and we'll figure out which movie I'm thinking of.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "I've been off for 3 years. You've gotta remember that.", "c": ["Nicolette Sheridan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Did I do something wrong? Yes.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. Yes, I watch everything on this magic box.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "I just told Nicolette Sheridan that she was great in a movie, it turned out I was talking about Tori Spelling.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Was it my bad breath? Because, um, I ate an avocado today... but avocado's don't give you bad breath.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "If people only knew.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Paris. Paula... I know. I heard.", "c": ["Larry", "Nicolette", "Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "'Cause this is Tori Amos' bio. Tori Amos is a singer, not an actor.", "c": ["Marylou"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "You get back on the horse. You get back on the horse and you go. Go where? Wherever the fucking horse goes.", "c": ["Hank", "Brian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Oh, my go... do you know who you are? Yes I do. Do you know who you are?", "c": ["Gordon", "Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "You are very popular in the gay community, Hank. See, I told ya.", "c": ["Gordon", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Staring? Really?", "c": ["Gordon"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Sidekick by day, gay caballero by night.", "c": ["Army Archer columnist"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Well, that's a lie. We never went to mother lode.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Yes! Yes! Rayneene, perfect.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Rock hudson was gay.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Tell her to wear something very short and very tight.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Well, I'd like my car detailed.", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "I, uh, got the trainee, right?", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "What is wrong with you? Nicolette sheridan was on the show last night. I know, but she's on my calendar for tonight, too.", "c": ["Paula", "Marylou"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Tied up. And, uh, harriet? Tied up.", "c": ["Marylou"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "He'll ask me about speed 2! I'll fill in! I'll have some funny stories about sandra, OK?!", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "That's what my friends used to do, too.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Now my underpants are gonna smell like starbucks.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Um, he's fanning my penis right now.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "It's a good thing you don't work at a hardware store, because then it'd be a bad date, as opposed to this where you've dragged me into it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "But at this weight horses ask you to get off.", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "I found that if you rode to the outside fence, then it was much safer, 'cause, you know, sometimes they run into each other on the inside there. It's longer. But it's safer, and I think safety, in this particular instance, is pretty good.", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Try not to.", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "I have him in a little tin hut up here in beverly hills, little monkey strapped to his leg and everything, you know, just to kind of keep him active.", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Cock suck, I don't understand it.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "No, well, it used to be, it's up to 4 bits.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Letterman already does that.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "And I said, 'it's a light bulb, and if you come any closer I'll turn it on.'", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "But, guys who had never walked before came running out of that hospital. That's the truth.", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "I haven't had any sex since the apple dumpling gang, so this is quite a treat.", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "I know rayneene, well, except when I knew rayneene, she was a man.", "c": ["Harvey Fierstein"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "Hank, are you OK? Oh, no, I'm not. I'm not OK.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "One of the great moments in television. Talk show, here we come.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "I don't smell anything, do you? Mmm, no. Vanilla latte.", "c": ["Larry", "Nicolette"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "The Matchmaker"}, {"t": "'Cause I'm wetting myself.", "c": ["Publicist"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "You got us one that's not in a wheelchair this time, right?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "You wouldn't even know he's sick. It's something... ahem... internal.", "c": ["Publicist"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Larry, as it turns out, you're number 11.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Well, he's Batman, for Christ's sake.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "They could get elmer fucking fudd on that list.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Hank Kingsley, international cigar smuggler.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Yeah, like in nu\u00f1a your goddamn business.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "they put me between Dennis frantz and hector elizondo on the can you recognize these bald heads? Game.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "You oughta keep that away from your crotch, or you'll end up on the dickless wonder list.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "You oughta keep that away from your crotch, or you'll end up on the dickless wonder list.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Larry couldn't stop crying even when the fly girls were dancing.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "He just kept blubbering about the fucking baby fawn's mother cooking in a brush fire.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Maybe you should take your pants off and blow yourself.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "What, is that, like, a gay thing? / No, this is a gay thing.", "c": ["Artie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "I see vulnerability! 'Ben Stiller.'", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Just fucking bump him.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "We don't have fucking time for this. 4, 5, 6... okay. Just fucking bump him.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "And if I didn't have a biscuit on me, it would've taken my arm off.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Oh, get a dick, will you?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Were you in ghost busters? / No. That was Bill Murray. / Well, how about blues brothers? / No. That was my brother John.", "c": ["Charlie", "Hank"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "[Beverly's horrified reaction to seeing Charlie]", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Beverly, I didn't know you had a kid.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "I wish I knew how to do that myself.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "I just think it's weird someone's last wish is to meet Larry.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "little felipe needs a full moon to make the swim.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "This'll get me all the way to my car.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Retooling? / Retooling.", "c": ["Larry", "Jimmy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Uh, she has a lot of personal problems, sweetheart.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "I thought you said we were going on a yogurt run. / Oh, no, baby, you got that all wrong.", "c": ["Charlie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Uncle Dennis rodman's can of semen, just in case she wants another kid.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "So, uh... you got the Larry Sanders hat. / Uh-huh. That's good. / What'd they charge you for that? / Why can't I get a Larry Sanders hat?", "c": ["Larry", "Charlie", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Boy, how did you survive? This looks like hunter Thompson's pad in the sixties.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Only you could make these goddamn sprinklers go off on some of the finest cigars in the world!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "And until then, they expect me to do what, just to go fuck myself?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Why did you give young pipsqueak yonder a fine cojiba?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Look at you. You're so sexy, I'm getting a woody just looking at you.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "how can you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning? / It's really difficult, Larry. / Because I'm not as sexy as you are.", "c": ["Larry", "Norman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Hank. Hank gave them to me.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Taffy. / Taffy? / Yeah. Yeah, I chew taffy.", "c": ["Hank", "Inspector"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Hot plate.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Fucker.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Oh, fuck me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "I can't believe Hank gave you a cojiba robusto. / These rock.", "c": ["Charlie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, thanks for ratting me out to the feds, speaking of assholes.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Jesus, is everybody on this show an asshole?", "c": ["Ben Stiller"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody! Hey, look at Larry, the big fat asshole! Whoo! Asshole man!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "I wish you could see how Jewish you look right now.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "That's incredible coming from a self-hating Jew like yourself.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Oh, really? What time is the collar due back?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "you don't have to come visit me because you've already fucked me in the ass.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Charlie's sick. We got to get him to the hospital. / Who's that kid?", "c": ["Beverly", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "No. / Hank's had a bad day.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Apparently someone let him smoke one of Hank's cigars and he got sick.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "I cannot believe you could do that to a child, Mary Lou. / He wanted to, and it was really just a couple of puffs.", "c": ["Beverly", "Mary Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "Charlie has asked for a second wish.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Make a Wish"}, {"t": "If you're gonna sit around all day with your thumb up your ass, sooner or later that will impact the show.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "I hate when people use their children as an excuse.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Mary Lou, that's the reason people in Hollywood have kids.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Boy, I'd like to have that police woman put me in a choke hold. You know, frisk me, baby. Whoa, do I have a concealed weapon for you.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.06, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Shut up, Hank. Officer, officer, turn off that siren and let's fuck.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "You're gonna have to be more specific.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Well, we had a lot of hot sex, but we never left the house.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "She's like a siren calling for me to smash my nuts upon the rocks.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Ha! OK, it's not that different.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Hey, could you insult us?", "c": ["Brian", "Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Oh, not really, you know, I don't do that. You know, I do that for, you know, when you get paid.", "c": ["Don Rickles"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "You must have come out of your mother on an angle and hit the wall. You got a funny-looking body.", "c": ["Don Rickles"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "It's like I shit in Pluto's dish or something.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "I knew television was in deep, deep trouble the day they took C.P.O. Sharkey off the air.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "What am I, with the Mossad? I don't know.", "c": ["Don Rickles"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Here's a man that's a nebbish. That means, as you can see, does nothing, just sits there and smells his hand.", "c": ["Don Rickles"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Artie, forget about it, huh? You're old. It's over. Go out to the cemetery and pick out a plot.", "c": ["Don Rickles"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Angie kissing Larry unexpectedly", "c": ["Angie", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "He's just thanking her for doing the show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "No, no. Not really. Uh, he'd been on the plane the flight before mine. You could still feel the Eisner in the air.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "That's Samson.", "c": ["Disney Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "I don't think so.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Is he a gynecologist?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "It's fine. I'm that way when Siegfried and Roy are on.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Tomorrow let's switch to beer.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "You know who's really good in this one? David Schwimmer. He's hilarious in this one.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Oh, boy, he's just like Marcel Marceau.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Not on TV.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "If Dressed to Kill were on right now, you'd be humping the set crying out 'Mama mia!'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "What are they doing, a live action version of Dumbo? You throw in 40 pounds, a little gray makeup, you're gonna be great.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "What are they doing, a live action version of Dumbo? You throw in 40 pounds, a little gray makeup, you're gonna be great.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "This is a warning, my friend. You do not mess with Hercules. I killed my wife, I killed my children, and I shall kill you if you do not temper thy tongue.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "I don't mean to question your judgment, but one of my balls is as big as Tate Donovan.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Hiageus, the village idiot, enters, a sad little stump of a man with a sorry mustache. He's being pelted with stones by a band of toughs. He cries out for Hercules in his funny squeal of a voice.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Do you think that when Hiageus gets in trouble, he could say, uh, 'Hey, now!'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "And is that your tail I see between your legs?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "I'm just not sure that I'm ready to be in a relationship with someone in show business. Exactly.", "c": ["Laura"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "We were on vacation, for Christ's sake. You know, it started out good, but then she wanted to talk about my peccadilloes. My mood swings, my temper, my stubbornness. My obsession with Glenlivet.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "What time's your flight? 9:30. I'll be back on Monday. I swear. Thanks, buddy.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules"}, {"t": "Paralegal? I always thought that was a lawyer in a wheelchair.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "That was very funny. I'm sure you hear that all the time. No, no. Not really.", "c": ["Michelle", "Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Oh, no. No, no, no, no. I'm from Oklahoma. That's cow country. Someone who still eats red meat.", "c": ["Michelle"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "What are you talkin' about? I was kiddin'. You going to call her in? You bet your ass.", "c": ["Larry", "Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "'Butthole' and 'surfing' shouldn't be put together. To me, someone's ass is gonna get waxed, and I don't think that's a good thing.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Bob Saget says that all the time. Really? All the time. That's good to know.", "c": ["Hank", "Michelle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "It's a big fish on, but the thing is Artie gave that to me. It's a whole fishing tackle box/wallet combination.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, but the housekeeper's not here, so we'll have to just drink it out of the bottle. Straight out of the bottle? Straight.", "c": ["Hank", "Michelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Chocolate is an aphrodisiac, and the mud part is all chocolate. Oh, my God. What? I think it's working.", "c": ["Hank", "Michelle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Sitter? Dog sitter? No, the baby-sitter. Um, I have a 6-year-old son.", "c": ["Hank", "Michelle"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Well, isn't that... isn't that just great?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "quite frankly, Roger... is that... is that your husband? No, that's my son.", "c": ["Hank", "Michelle"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Roger... is that your husband? No, that's my son.", "c": ["Hank", "Michelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Oh! I mean, kids are great. They have energy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "I don't know anyone who has an American car anymore. What do you mean? I drive an American car.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "It's a hell of a lot better than these rice burners and strudel wagons the rest of these assholes in Hollywood drive.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Well, what about little Miguelito from Peru? You know, the kid that you adopted through Sally Struthers? All his letters pile up like goddamned junk mail.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Well, what am I supposed to do? He wrote them in Spanish.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Showfolk belong with showfolk, Hank. If you're not careful, you're gonna mess this kid up and his mom.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Mama Lucia. Fabuloosa caboosa. Great ass, too.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Oh, that's because Phil doesn't have an office.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "20 bucks? I hope it's a day of beauty.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "My money's missing. Gosh, Larry. If you don't wanna buy one, just say so. No, I believe you. My money's gone.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "It's more like a concept at this point.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Oh, come on. Have a cookie. So there's nothing for me to read? You want something to read? We got papers here. We got everything.", "c": ["Keith", "Actress", "Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Listen, you gotta be very careful when you accuse a friend of stealing money because many years ago, I was in New York with Lenny Bruce, and, uh, he accused me of taking 50 bucks from him, and it turned very ugly and I popped him.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "You know, you've told me this story before, and, uh, you took the money. That may be, but I'm just trying to warn you.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "I know we're early, it's just they were so speedy over there at Midas Muffler.", "c": ["Michelle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, you must be Susan. You must be Roger. How you doin', champ? Fine. They took my mom's car and lifted it way high.", "c": ["Hank", "Roger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Sacramento... that's the capital of California. Wow. You are correct. You must... you must be very smart.", "c": ["Roger", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "South Dakota. Pierre. And what's the capital of North Dakota... Pep\u00e9 Le Pew?", "c": ["Hank", "Roger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "You're funny, Mr. Kingsley.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Those are beautiful earrings. Oh, thanks. I got 'em today. Oh, really? Yeah. I used the money I got from, uh... my wallet?", "c": ["Larry", "Lori"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "You know what? I always give them a couple hundred bucks because you know what? You know, they know me.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "That bird was supposed to shit on Larry's hand.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Come on. Reba McEntire doesn't need to do 2 songs. Some guy left her, and she's broke. Big fucking deal. We got it the first time.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "You don't see me setting up fake meetings just to meet Ed Asner.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Beverly, kiss my ass. You show it bare.", "c": ["Phil", "Beverly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "They're not horses, Phil.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "This sort of thing happens in the movies, maybe, but we had no idea this sort of behavior was being conducted on the very premises of the Larry Sanders show.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Shut the fuck up, Phil!", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "You know what's odd is I wear a 2-piece.", "c": ["Actress"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Something seems... Reba... she was anxious to get on the road. There was a big turquoise and silver fair in Santa Fe tomorrow.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Something seems... Reba... she was anxious to get on the road. There was a big turquoise and silver fair in Santa Fe tomorrow.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Come on. You know this. He knew all the capitals of all the states. Backstage he was terrific. Come on. Starts with an 'I.' Ends with a 'y.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Don't touch the boy.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Nice booking. The kid froze.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "You are a grown man, you had no reason to attack him like that. He did great. It went great.", "c": ["Michelle", "Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "You know, I've seen kids with Michael Jackson less nervous.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Just remember, this show is not about you getting laid. It's about Larry getting laid.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "Listen, I... I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am about that, because I just thought that she took the money... No, no, no. No, you misunderstood. Um, I came down here because... well, she did take the money.", "c": ["Larry", "John Stamos"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "No, you misunderstood. Um, I came down here because... well, she did take the money.", "c": ["John Stamos"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "I know, it's weird. It's... she's, uh... she's had this problem for a while now really? Yeah, and she was embarrassed and she wanted me to bring the money down here, because she didn't, you know... you know, I mean, you could imagine how it...", "c": ["John Stamos"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "There was 250 in the wallet. There's 200 here. Is that a new earring?", "c": ["Larry", "John Stamos"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Prank"}, {"t": "I looked like a lesbian art teacher from hartford, connecticut, I'm not a lesbian. I can't even do improv.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "You betcha. You're fucking fascinating.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Writing a book is something you save for just right before you die when all you got to do is watch the Sunset.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Well, now, how the Christ would I know?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Fucking fergie. She wants to do a talk show. I think she might fuck me, too.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Fuck you. Fuck you, stevie.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Leading with my ass?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "On my desk!", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Hey, who'd you fuck to get those?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "He's the kind of guy that would find a way to stamp his name on all the petals.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "His life and times, who he got to fuck. You know, the usual Hollywood bullshit tell-all.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "The time you slipped and chipped your tooth on the urinal?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "I masturbated before the show, and you caught me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "I suggest you lock the door.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Once.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Wasn't it more in the area of 20 or something like that?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "you had sex with my body pillow.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "you couldn't get it up.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Oh, I think vitamin's \"l-n,\" Larry.", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "I gotta start takin' those gingko tablets.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Wouldn't it be funny if you wrote a sketch for Larry where he plays Burt Reynolds going on one of those dating game type of shows? And all the contestants look like loni Anderson, right?", "c": ["James"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "'I said to Jack lord, 'do you have hemorrhoids? ' He said, 'no.'I said... 'at last, I've met a perfect asshole.'\"", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "What has happened to the world that nowadays anybody can write a book? Anybody. Anybody.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "What a fucking ego. That should be the title of your book.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "That's why I kissed Marla gibbs in the, uh, press room.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Don't boxers abstain from any type of sexual activity before a big fight? Yes, because they are pussies.", "c": ["Hank", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "a little sexual stimulation before the show relaxes and centers me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "It's not interesting, it's fucking pathetic. It's about nothing but fucking greed and lust and self-loathing and anger. And let me tell you somethin'. That is not what I'm like!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Just grab him, tackle him, whatever, and then hit the fire alarm, OK?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "The freshwater eel has your name on it.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "you could take those... those chocolates and those shells and you shove 'em where the sun don't shine. Oh, and you take the flowers, too.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "when a gay man is the only one writing you poetry, it makes you feel like a real charity case.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "What a cunt.", "c": ["Mary Lou"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Go fuck yourself.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "You don't have a large ass.", "c": ["Dr. Joyce Brothers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "I had trouble gettin' the noose off the, uh, chandelier.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "Oh, fuck.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "The Book"}, {"t": "I haven't been stared at like that since the last time I had sex.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "When I find Phil, I will introduce his ass to my good friend Mr. Florsheim.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "Hello. I'd shake hands with you, but you were touching Phil's feet.", "c": ["Larry", "Jessica"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "A week... and a half.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "it was early conan.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "it's gonna be stale by tomorrow afternoon.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "Yeah, the pussy cult. Whenever I'm getting pussy, I'm not funny.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "Well, you're never funny.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "No one ever died there when it was chasens.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "I don't have a natural curiosity about people.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "I don't even know which one is harriet. You'll learn their names within the year.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "I can only derive a limited amount of personal satisfaction from booking the parrot lady.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "The music stopped! The music stopped! What music?", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "But if they get a prize when they have it, why would anybody throw it away?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "You know Larry only does the jerk-off jokes that he writes.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "she tells me I make her sick.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "These gophers are also suspected of kidnapping farmers and subjecting them to painful medical probes.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "You're wearing my favorite cologne... 'hilarity by Larry Sanders'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "I said it's fine. ...and, by the way, I'm a dead man for telling you...", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "O.j. Simpson. He's doin' great. Sensational.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "and in 6 months, I replaced him. You don't have to worry about that. Ha! That's exactly what I said to Bob Sterling.", "c": ["Artie", "Paula"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "pain equals funny.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "Well, I hope our whole staff gets dumped. Maybe we'd win an emmy now and then.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "Better than skinny-dipping with jfk in the white house swimming pool?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "you know how well I react to gestures of sentimentality.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "You've never thanked me before. Well, the jokes were never that good before.", "c": ["Phil", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "he looks kind of green to me. Well, I had a bad piece of fish.", "c": ["Paula", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "he's gonna look like the cleveland indians' mascot.", "c": ["Unknown crew member"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "Artie walking out during the lighting discussion", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "Here. Catch. Then the audience, in unison, shouts, 'hey, now, Hank, go fuck yourself.'", "c": ["Hank", "Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "Phil writes better and faster when he's unhappy, and we don't have tonight's monologue. Do you understand what I'm saying?", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "that was your pick-up phrase in the seventies, wasn't it?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "numbers 17 and 56 hate me and won't take my calls.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "I just can't... what, did I push too hard? Did I do something wrong? Did I not produce the show?", "c": ["Larry", "Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "I'm not a happy man. I know that I hide it pretty well,", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "I'm not your type. My breasts are real.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "You know, I could get used to that.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "The cleveland indians' mascot, Chief wahoo.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "Damn it, it was excellent. Except for your tie.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "You shouldn't wear stripes, Sonny. They strobe and make your face look puffy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "I also got 5 porno channels. I'll have a beer.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "but what I didn't tell you is he was an absolute asshole.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "That's what I was when Larry first saw me.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "She said you're a really sweet guy. Oh, she's sweet, too.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "We have no monologue.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Pain Equals Funny"}, {"t": "I thought I smelled a publicity man on the premises.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I remember the night they did Totie Fields. I think I heard every one-legged joke there ever was that night.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, girl, if you're going to a roast, I gotta take you shopping, teach you how to dress.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I believe technically it's called roast mastering", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Come on! That whole stand-up thing is a... it's just over. I mean, 'have you noticed this,' and 'have you noticed that?'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Hillary Clinton may be Bill Clinton's first lady, but she is not his first lay.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "See? I notice stuff, too. I just don't write it down and go to some moth-eaten nightclub and repeat it.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Get off the stage, ya fucking moron! I've taken shits more interesting than you are! You're nothin' but Larry Sanders' personal fuck-bitch!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Good comeback.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "You mean after his other best friend, Jeffrey Dahmer?", "c": ["Dana"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Jeffrey Dahmer is dead. He's unavailable. I know. That's the joke. What are you, in P.R?", "c": ["Dana", "Norman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I'm as free Saturday night as he is next month.", "c": ["Bill Maher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "all you gotta do is come back with a dick-related insult. That's it.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "what if the heckler's a woman? Well, same thing. You talk about her dick. Makes 'em crazy.", "c": ["Hank", "Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I don't come down to your job and knock the dick outta your mouth while you're trying to work.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "you can blow me like everyone else on table. At your table.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. He told me he was going on vacation. Why do they have to lie that way?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Dennis Miller passed. He's very sick. He's in the hospital. Christ! It's like he wants to be caught.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Very simply, he's the guy we had to take to get Jerry fucking Seinfeld.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Is mosquito right? Shouldn't it be hung like a bee?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "For 'the 2,000-year-old man.' We know that was my idea. Your idea was to tell Mel not to do it with a Jewish accent.", "c": ["Carl Reiner", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Get me a damp cloth and a cyanide tablet.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Sorry I couldn't make it to your roast, Lar, but I'm bone-fishin' with Barb. Get it? Bone? Barb? Fishin'?", "c": ["Dana Carvey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Tell Hank to shut the fuck up.", "c": ["Dana Carvey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "shave my head with a cheese grater... get a barium enema, and check Dom DeLuise's ball sack for lumps.", "c": ["Dana Carvey"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "tell Hank that Ed said to shut the fuck up.", "c": ["Dana Carvey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I just wanna say to Bruno Kirby, you owe me 250 bucks, you little prick. Where is he? Oh, there he is. OK.", "c": ["Dana Carvey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "The great thing about Larry Sanders is that he never exploited the fact that he was a homosexual. He was gay, he was proud, but he didn't shove it down anybody's throat.", "c": ["Carl Reiner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Most of it hit you when he tripped over the microphone cord.", "c": ["Carl Reiner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "oh, Christ, I'm not wastin' this on chicks!", "c": ["Carl Reiner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "He's doing his act. He's killing.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "luckily, the camera loves me.", "c": ["Carl Reiner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "The bastard cancelled an hour ago.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Like today... we put salt on our asses... and we drove out to that petting zoo.", "c": ["Kip Addotta"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Well, then I owe Carrot Top a big apology for last year, don't I? Remember when I said he would suck a cock doing a sack race?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "and Tom Arnold's asshole was booked, so...", "c": ["Al Franken"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "That's the kind of quick wit and jest that keeps you on Larry's couch.", "c": ["Carl Reiner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "you are absolutely adequate.", "c": ["Norm Crosby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "When I first met Larry Sanders, he was screwing my cousin. And I didn't even know that he knew Harvey.", "c": ["Norm Crosby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "When I first met Larry Sanders, he was screwing my cousin. And I didn't even know that he knew Harvey.", "c": ["Norm Crosby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "He's on that new Hollywood agent diet. You can only eat while you're being eaten.", "c": ["Norm Crosby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "You just... never seem to be able to get 'em at home.", "c": ["Norm Crosby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I'd rather have Al Gore fuck me in the ass.", "c": ["Al Franken"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "What the fuck am I doing here? I'm an actor. We do 2 different things. Comedians jerk off. I work.", "c": ["Bruno Kirby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "And I don't owe you $250, pal. You owe me $250.", "c": ["Bruno Kirby"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "The key lime pie is delicious. This is the worst fucking night of my life. And that was chocolate cake.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "This is the worst fucking night of my life. And that was chocolate cake.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "as opposed to Larry who's just old.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "hey, why don't you speak up? Only the people at your table know you're an asshole.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "I don't come to your job and knock the dick out of your ass.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "You'll either behave yourself, or I'm gonna snap your neck like a butter bean.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "It's a plate for bulimics. See, they can eat...", "c": ["Carrot Top"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.59, "im": 3.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "everyone I love is here tonight, and, um... what an honor.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "The Roast"}, {"t": "Nice rack. That's alex. Who's alex? That's the girl I've been dating. Nice rack.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "That's 'cause I'm Not chokin' up as much On my penis.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "I've been Feeling something Lately. I couldn't put my finger On it. Maybe it's that-- What'd you call it? Happy!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Hey, do you think When I come out To do the monologue, I should just rush To the front of the stage And shake everyone's hand The way Leno does?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's still Got to take Hank apart And put him back In the box.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Why, are you quitting?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "I don't usually hear that Until my pants are off.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "A man dressing as a woman Is a little...Benny hill. Don't you think? That's what we are. We arebenny hill.", "c": ["Alex", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "You know, I could play that part. Of the, uh... I'm sorry. Oh, god. Of the mermaid or-- That was so just... Presumptuous.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Are you talking To me or my ass?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "No, I mean He stopped drinking Because he fell Into lake michigan and drowned. Oh, god. Which of The 12 steps is that? The last one.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "That would be Her brain, Hank, An organ that you may not Be familiar with.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Tonight the mermaid Will be played By a lovely and talented Lady instead of me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Cover your blow-hole.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Well, I am the mermaid. Does Larry come back After this?", "c": ["Hank", "unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "I mean, do you really Buy that she has ever Been underwater? I don't. I'm sorry, I don't.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "They're so lucky, And you don't hear People standing around Saying, 'look how fat That whale got.'", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "I wanted It tomorrow so I could Give it to my agent.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "That was my idea. It's still good.", "c": ["Larry", "Warren"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "We've got a thing Called must pee tv.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "I guess that means I get my own show. She can have mine For 10 bucks.", "c": ["Alex", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Larry and I are very, Very close. Larry. You understand? That's a comfort That comes From years and years Of working together.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "I was giving him My masseuse's phone number 'Cause he's having some Trouble with his neck. How sweet.", "c": ["Alex", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "That's because they have A lot of twisters there. You got shit flying around. You're not gonna be watching tv.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Slap on Your shelled bra, Little mermaid. You're back in business.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "I happen to be In love with you. And, uh... I'm confused.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "I happen to be In love with you. And, uh... I'm confused.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Network rums: jon stewart To replace Sanders.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Don't speak or you're fish Will get very cold.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "It ended up being The clampetts go to maui. 'Cause you get my family Together, There is an empty k-mart Somewhere.", "c": ["TV comedian"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "Which one's yours, The samsonite? No, we got the igloo With the duct tape on it And the 5 piggly-wiggly Bags right there.", "c": ["TV comedian"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "You know that ain't Them dogs' real voice. Thanks for spoiling it For everybody else.", "c": ["TV comedian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Larry's New Love"}, {"t": "and now, because Larry's home catching up on his sex, Jon Stewart.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "So I was thinking, 'hey, Why not just save the money And go out with tori spelling?'", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "I just feel like A wet burlap bag Full of monkey shit.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "Well, that came across.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "You know, that's How you get the flu. You could wear Rubber gloves. That's true, And then I could, uh, Check their prostates, too.", "c": ["Larry", "Network Executive"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "We'd get more Of er's audience.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "Why are you fucking With me like this? 'Hey now' is My catch phrase. I own it.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "47%.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "And, like the limited Mcrib sandwich-- Scrumptious, hot, And hard to get.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "Larry, she's never Done a nude scene.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "Is he retarded? No. He works In a shoe store. He looks just like you.", "c": ["Larry", "Beverly", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "This is like A wet dream come true. Well, that's why We have the tarp.", "c": ["Paul Fisher", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "What's it called? What-- uh... This song? Yeah. It's called, uh, this is track 3.", "c": ["Larry", "Winona Ryder"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "I'm not funny Or interesting, So I hope that's not Going to be a problem. Well, that Hasn't stopped Hank.", "c": ["Winona Ryder", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "I think last night One of the actors From melrose place Threw up on my door. Ah, you're so fucking great. I love it.", "c": ["Jon Stewart", "Roger"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "That's funny. I thought I was the 'hey now' guy. Ha ha ha ha ha. Not in valencia, my friend.", "c": ["Hank", "Paul Fisher"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "You don't have to run. What if you just walk Through the audience? You walk. It doesn't Have to look like A fucking telethon.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "It's like A shooting gallery. Well, i'll just run home And bring back My 7 mil. Remington mag.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "He has colon cancer. I've got-- He's dying.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "You're all fucking crazy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "I am nothing like that-- That sick fuck. He is a pathetic, Annoying nobody, And I am-- I am Hank fucking Kingsley.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Did I forget To say now?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "Everything's fine, Except I don't want To talk about the aliens Under water stuff. I'm so sick Of talking about that.", "c": ["Winona Ryder"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "And you can go around, And you can say, 'Hey now' till Your dick falls off. But you know what, paul? That does not make you me!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "I mean, with The show ending. What? You haven't heard? Jon Stewart is Taking over for Larry.", "c": ["Paul Fisher", "Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "But didn't inhale.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "Um, would you want to go out And get a bite to eat later? You know, maybe You want to pussy hunt?", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "And now, because The charges were dropped, Larry Sanders!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Another List"}, {"t": "We're in bed by 10:00 most nights. / Well, that's ok. / I can see that. / You just said that you Don't stay up past 10:00. So I didn't know how You had seen Jon Stewart.", "c": ["Larry", "Doctor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "How goes The head doctor? / What's not to like? I got a lollipop, And he shaved me Before the exam.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "First of all, There should be A law on the book That prevents Network people From using The word 'creative' In their job titles. They see it On their stationery And they start Believing it.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "What canyon Comes off melrose? / Bullshit canyon, That's what.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "el nino is lifting The skirts el northe. Whoa-ho! Whoa! Hey, look at her ass!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "That's the trouble With hollywood, Larry. Everyone's got two pricks And three assholes. It's a genitalia Horn of plenty.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Why does the handwriting Of most of my fan mail Match the handwriting Of the unabomber? / 'Dear sir, your show Is technically crippling. What's left of humanity? Love, ted k.' / This must be for Hank.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "'Dear sir, your show Is technically crippling. What's left of humanity? Love, ted k.' This must be for Hank.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "What are they Doing up so late? / Who gives a shit? They're watching you.", "c": ["Larry", "Kenny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Let's all join The fucking circus.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "We're beating Letterman In indianapolis. His own backyard.", "c": ["Kenny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "This desk is the most Lasting relationship That Larry's ever had. He's married To this desk. It's there for him Every night, And it allows him To come in from the rear.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "The guy From men at work? / [Sighs] You're killing us. / That's 3 guys. Where's the sex?", "c": ["Kenny", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "We'll have our bookers Scour sunset after midnight, And the first celeb We find getting blown By a hooker, Consider him booked. Or her.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "I thought we sprayed For roaches last week.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Uh, here? / Further. / Can't, uh, Go any further. / Right here, Hank. / Yeah, it's, uh-- It's fresher.", "c": ["Hank", "Kenny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Can I share Something with you? Um, I have a severe Hearing disorder. Actually, It's a, uh... Punctured eardrum, And, uh, Whenever I'm, uh... Very near A loud noise Such as a... A band, My head feels Like it's just... [Groans] I mean, Have you seen The zapruder film?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Can't, uh, go any further.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "This is just A stepping stone to Prime time for me, A tired little Piece-of-shit Stepping stone.", "c": ["Kenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "How many guys are Gonna come in here And blow me?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "We're on the top floor. Someone on The fucking roof?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "How many guys are Gonna come in here And blow me? / Do I look deaf to you? 'Cause you're talking To me like I'm deaf. Do deaf people walk around In $3,000 suits? I don't think so!", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "You guys can just Take your cocks, And you can Put them on at 11:30 With all The other cocks, And you can call it The cock network.", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Yeah. They Took the veal Off the menu. I hate This fucking place.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Jesus christ, my rectal tract Paid for your jaguar.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "This move to the band Is like getting on The fucking bus To auschwitz. I'm on my way out.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "I thought you were 32. / Yeah. Well...", "c": ["Larry", "Stevie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "I had to eat lunch, Larry. / With Jon Stewart. Yeah. / [Band starts playing] I see.", "c": ["Stevie", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "I remember you Tooting up behind a tree, Using your cell phone.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Well, we're all A little nervous here At the Larry Sanders show Because the network Is requiring us To attend a sexual Harassment seminar On friday, And I still Don't have a date.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "That's what makes it A great company. / Country. / What did I say?", "c": ["Stevie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "The chicken flu Is really something. Boy, oh, boy, My chicken has been In bed for 6 weeks. I really just hope My cock doesn't get it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "I got a lot of letters Asking if, uh... You know, there's any way The people at home Can see my lap Throughout The whole show, And, uh, here it is. You got A clear shot, uh... Honestly, that desk Was totally, uh... In the way.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Do you like The new set, Hank? [Audience laughs] Oh, that's right. So Hank is over By the, uh, band now", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. What? / Are you-- Are you comfortable? / You know, This is, uh... Are you, uh-- Do we have a beeper For Hank?", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "I think It's beautiful. I think it's, uh... Downtown. [Audience laughs] Which city downtown In which, you know? Which city?", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "How do you like The big, comfy chairs? / They're airy. Very airy.", "c": ["Larry", "Colin Hay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Well, maybe we Ought to get you One of those long pillows Shaped like a woman, so, You know, If you get nervous, You can start Humping one of them.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Right, because, uh... Because i-- / Have one? / No! It's not that at all, But that's a very Interesting thing You mentioned there, That I do Have a lazy eye.", "c": ["Larry", "Colin Hay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Basically, I can look at you, And this eye, If it gets bored Or if somebody's Talking to me, This eye just goes, 'Ah'-- Just looks over here, You know. / I'm sorry. This gets very-- / I think it's a gift. I wish I could Look away.", "c": ["Colin Hay", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Look how Uncomfortable I am. / Yeah, well, it's Gonna take some Getting used to. / You know, I used to Have a desk myself. I don't know Who I am anymore.", "c": ["Larry", "Colin Hay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Larry, I wrote A screenplay That I think Would be fantastic For patrick swayze. / Great. / Is there any way You could help me Get it to him? / Um... Is my time just about up?", "c": ["Colin Hay", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Larry, this is Coming from upstairs. / How could it Be coming From upstairs? I just asked you. / [Whispering] Oh. I get it.", "c": ["Kenny", "Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Uh, as you may have heard, My contract is up In, uh, 8 weeks, And, uh, I want you To know first That when My contract is up, I will not be coming back.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "What the fuck Was that? / Shit, I swear I had No idea about this. / Shit! Fuck! Fuck!", "c": ["Artie", "Kenny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "You're fired.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "You're fired.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "When I said Put your foot down, I think you Misunderstood me.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "The Beginning of the End"}, {"t": "Banana liqueur. I needed a drink a couple of hours ago. This was the only thing I could find.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "My breath smells like a monkey's asshole.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "There's a fire extinguisher there. It has a simple elegance, and yet it has strength.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "I thought when Larry announced his retirement from the show, I would wake up, because I have that nightmare almost every night.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Hard.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "I think the ratings were even higher for the super bowl than they were for the 3rd rock episode. A very special 3rd rock.", "c": ["Jim Gray"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Right in between Richard Simmons and jenny mccarthy.", "c": ["Jim Gray"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Everyone knows you're the reason we lost football.", "c": ["Bob Costas"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "If you want to sit there and stare like a moron and breathe though your mouth, you can go sit in jenny jones' audience.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "You better climb back on board and towel off, because we're gonna finish the show in a blaze of glory.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Just like when you hit on Michael landon's wife. He was dead. That woman was sitting shivah.", "c": ["Artie", "Brian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "You put your tongue in her mouth. I lost my balance. I was falling over, and I stuck my tongue out to break my fall.", "c": ["Artie", "Brian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Pure comedy Gold. Melt it, mint it, and ship it to fort knox.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Pussy-whipped. Flying right back to St. Louis.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Very talented... basketball player.", "c": ["Fred de Cordova"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Your boyfriend was over? Ignoring that.", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "I saw my face reflected in the, uh, in the cooktop, and I said... 'lemons.'", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "lemons. When life gives you lemons, you make things with lemons.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Little... little playlets, really.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "She stepped on every one of my fucking lines. Oh, I know. I saw that production. And you said you enjoyed it, right? Yeah. That's what I said.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Move along, chinaman.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "I hate to be the one to rain on your parade, but doing a play with Ruth buzzi and saying, 'move along, chinaman,' do not an acting career make.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Well, there's no shame in doing porno.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Hey, now. We barely know each other.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "He cannot act. I know. Don't worry. Don't worry.", "c": ["Lea Thompson", "Fred Barron"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "I think they're gonna want to hear the 'hey, now' when they see me.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "And now I have to sit next to that... that... that... that woman.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Jesus, Sidney, will you please get up, and will you help me here?", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "So... what, did you hire a black man?", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Well, you said you went a different way. I mean, how many different ways are there?", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "By things... by things, he means crying, by the way.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "for those of you who are watching tonight, the unemployment line starts right to the right of pat.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "For those of you who are watching tonight, the unemployment line starts right to the right of pat.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "the state of liberty. Uh, Hank? Merv? Pat. And, Hank, it's 'statue.' Statue of liberty.", "c": ["Hank", "Pat Sajak"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "What? Jeff. My name's Jeff. You called me Jim. I called... I'm sorry. Who's this fucking guy?", "c": ["Hank Kingsley", "Jeff"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "The correct title is the new colossus, so I guess you should worry a little less about your name and a little more about these, uh... these questions.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Well, not to worry, debbie, with a body like yours, you don't have to be smart.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Because, in fact, her tits aren't that great. I mean, they're too big for her body.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "I'm this close to hitting you.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "That's down near San diego. No. Missouri.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley", "Andy Williams"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "2 million fucking dollars?", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "What about, uh, big Jew jamboree?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "As My Career Lay Dying"}, {"t": "Yeah. Well, they say If you're going to quit, You better do it Early in the day.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "It's about a bunch of guys In a ska band in seattle.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Very dark. Dark like friends?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "You hear that sound, phil? I believe that's The needle breaking On the bullshit-o-meter.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Did you say 'frigging'? I'm trying to cut down On my cuss words. Mother call? Yeah. Yeah. She says hello.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Of 'my shoe in your rectumitis.'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Like cher's ass.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "It's all tears, cartwheels, And a hard-on.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "How would you feel If one of the characters Was black?", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Well, we got in our head Now that he's black, So we started calling him Keshaun.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "I said, 'thank you. I've been sitting All day.'", "c": ["Jonathan Katz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "I have been on stand-by For my own phantas For 5 1/2 years now.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Who the fuck am i, hootie?", "c": ["Dave Chappelle"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Maybe that's why They're sleepless.", "c": ["Dave Chappelle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Every week A patron is murdered! I got to solve it. Kind of like a hip-hop Crime-solving type thing.", "c": ["Dave Chappelle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Oh, man, this is a bic. I'm talking about A rare black pen.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "It's not that I'm worried That, uh... Larry likes you More than he likes me, Because, you know-- fuck it-- You know, we both know he does.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "He's such a cheap fucker.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "He went down, He got in his own car. He drove there. He parked it. He got out. He walked in the doors, And he pulled out His own personal Credit card?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "[Artie crying after learning about the lost pen]", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "First I'm hootie, Now I'm fucking kunte kinte, The deejay?", "c": ["Dave Chappelle"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Cocksucker? I don't know. Mother fucker? I don't know.", "c": ["Bridget Fonda"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Is the whole family Like this?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Slide it under, Asshole. Nice going, dipshit. Give me my pen back, Schmuck.", "c": ["Hank", "Sid"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "By the way, I already have A travel clock.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "He's got A very firm ass.", "c": ["Bridget Fonda"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "[Hank getting Bridget to sign autograph 'on his lap']", "c": ["Hank", "Bridget Fonda", "Larry"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Take your dick Out of your ear, You little troll.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "You know What he means By his 'office?' No. The van.", "c": ["Larry", "Bridget Fonda"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Christ is king.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "I swear on my mother's life That I was just sick.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "From the guy That gives out $10,000 pens? Who does that?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "That's a ph-1,000. That's the top Of the line. I gave you the, uh, One that cost 500.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "But I'm sorry you're out For $10,000?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Ha ha. What the fuck?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "It'll be a $29,000 story.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Pilots and Pens Lost"}, {"t": "Well, it was-- It was gross, all right.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "When they called you to the places. Did they say, uh, 'Mr. Vaughn, and the rest of you dinosaurs.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Hank doesn't even have a fire, let alone irons.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Are you for real? Because you are. And next month, there's gonna be another flavor. Jerk.", "c": ["Vince"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "don't let that toothless Ukrainian guy near it. Only give the keys to caro-- to caro!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Oh, who knows how long these gay cruises last. They're in international waters. They can do anything.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "I just hit Hank's car.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "You're not parked anywhere near Hank's car. You're in another lot.", "c": ["Mary Lou"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "I know. I'm such a bad driver.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "It was really big and foreign, kind of like a big boat.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "You hit his bentley. Is that bad?", "c": ["Mary Lou", "Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "I thought I smelled hype in the air.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Not for the prince of P.R.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Larry Sanders poolside. You know, 'Legend in repose.' Sunlight makes the legend squint.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "How 'bout in the living room on the couch? You know, 'Larry in the living room on the couch.'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "We go way back. Please...Don't ask. Please don't tell.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "We were lovers in '88 and again in '92.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "It was hot-- Heh heh-- very hot.", "c": ["Norman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "I can't go to the habitat for fucking Humanity banquet in a dented bentley because some shitbag smashed into my fucking car!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "It was Vince fucking vaughn.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "my guess would be west hollywood. [Laughing] Unlisted. Like anyone gives a shit.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "I get into a lot of accidents. Like, I don't know why. I just do. I have 5 or 6 a year. Or 7. Sometimes I get in-- It was 7 this year.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "You get in 5 or 6 accidents a year, and your car is a... It's a jetta. I'm-- I'm sorry. What? It's an '85 jetta.", "c": ["Hank", "Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "And you are asking me to equate that with a $200,000 handcrafted bentley?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Is how great I thought you were on the 'shabad' telethon this year. Oh. Thanks. It's 'chabad.'", "c": ["Beverly", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "No one really knows how hard chabad is. I mean, 10 minutes of dancing that hora... That's a fucking marathon.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "I'm actually wearing a #40 Emotional block right now.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "It's your reflection in my eyes.", "c": ["Arthur"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "This house was actually in architectural digest, and then I think it went to its head.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "It was designed mostly for interviews like this, so that's great.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "I cried. Now I'm fucked. It was a manly misting.", "c": ["Larry", "Arthur"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Why not just televise my shrink sessions?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "They never edit out the crying. That's the come shot.", "c": ["Arthur"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "All dinners are business dinners.", "c": ["Arthur"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Well, maybe i'll leave the knife out for you.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "You got a crush on me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Are you telling me that I have a bottle of champagne waiting at home for nothing?", "c": ["Arthur"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Find some dog shit, take it over to the fox lot, and smear it on Vince vaughn's car.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Hank, have you lost your mind? Is that a yes?", "c": ["Beverly", "Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Black-bottom pool for hollywood showbiz parties. Movie star like yourself.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "fuck that. It's like a spider convention out there.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "It's weird coming from saturday night live 'cause, uh, on the sitcom now I'm the only backstabber in the room.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "You stay away from her, shorty.", "c": ["Arthur"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Marylou, he is planning to put dog poop on vince vaughn's car.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "He blubbered like a fucking baby. No. I mean, it was the funniest goddamn thing you'd ever want to see.", "c": ["Jimmy Belushi"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "What a pussy. Pussy, man.", "c": ["Jimmy Belushi"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Well...Fondue. I mean, any retard can melt cheese.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "Look at us. We're like a choo-choo here.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "He brought me another cat. And, uh-- [Crying]", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "I gotta record this. I gotta record this. I gotta record this.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "he had this cat and he named it patches, but yet it was, um, all one color...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "I think it was a tree. I don't know. I couldn't even ask him because it would hurt his feelings...", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "It was a tree.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "I hit your car.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "\"Dear mr. Vaughn: I am sorry about the shit I put on your car.\"", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "\"Women-- what are you going to do? By the way, I thought swingers was a hoot and a half.\"", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "When I broke up with her, she kept leaving dead stuff on my porch for about 6 months. Mainly squirrels.", "c": ["Vince"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "They feel closer to you. I-- I can't live like this.", "c": ["Arthur", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Interview"}, {"t": "And, um, if my brother Stan is watching, I'll see you Monday morning at 11:00, Stan. I just saved 95 cents on a phone call there.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Ahoy, captain Sanders. The u.s.s. Hilarity is now safely in her berth. You know, has anyone ever told you you should start wearing a sailor's cap?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Yeah. The late rock hudson.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Oh, nothing. I'm just practicing my Chinese.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Because you know what? I'm out of envelopes.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "The pecker hasn't even shown up yet.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I forgot Stan was even coming.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Now, I shouldn't have tipped that guy, right? No, I... I completely took care of that. You don't have to worry.", "c": ["Stan", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Great. Now, is this an original? Don't touch that. Just come on in.", "c": ["Stan", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "With duchovny and Seinfeld? Oh, well, those guys, they're working, but I thought we'd play, you know, just together.", "c": ["Stan", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Just happy to be out of rehab. I'm kidding.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Yes. I called the tracking number, and the people at omaha said it was delivered on Saturday. Saturday? Mm-hmm. Well, Jesus, that's $200 worth of meat.", "c": ["Assistant", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Well, Jesus, that's $200 worth of meat. I mean... no 'thank you' note. I'm fucked.", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Actually, it was $100 because you went with the strip steaks instead of the filets.", "c": ["Assistant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Great news, Hank. You're in tonight's sketch. I am? Mm-hmm. All right. That's great. Uh, what am I doing? You're playing hitler.", "c": ["Writer", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "The hitler? Yeah, one in the same.", "c": ["Hank", "Writer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "I'm fucked. Comedy central. Oh, come on. I'll have to wear something tonight that'll make me look young and fresh.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "That's not young and fresh. This is not young. This... this is old. This is show business.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Doesn't this smell like urine? Let's not put a name to it. Let me just get you the spray.", "c": ["Hank", "Assistant"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Why is it always an asian woman? 2 birds with one stone. What does that mean?", "c": ["Writer", "Phil", "Writer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Now, there are jokes, and then there is piss all over my shoes. These are 2... entirely different things.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "'cause I had asparagus last night.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "I think that was probably my dog. He's got a bladder infection from, I think, rough sex.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "What can we do, just tie their assholes in a knot? I think that's balloon animals.", "c": ["Hank", "Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "They're loyal. They stick by their masters. Unless, of course, their masters abandon them. And then they have to find a new master. But when they find their new master, they're loyal forever. Assuming, of course, their new master wants them.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Well, we think they might be a little too... urban. Urban? Well, I can call my good friend lenny kravitz. He's only half-urban.", "c": ["Kenny", "Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "we don't want this to turn into a fucking freak show like they've got over there at conan.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Well, I don't wanna piss out your comedy campfire here, but we have a minor problem.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Jon, have you ever started dating a woman, treated her very gently, took her to fine restaurants, opened doors for her, charmed her parents? And you gave her some hugs, but you didn't even attempt to kiss her for a long time? Then, one day, in your car, in broad daylight, suddenly, she jumps on you and starts giving you a blow job. Right. The network wants you to bump Wu-tang clan.", "c": ["Artie", "Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "So I'm not getting a blow job.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "they want you to build up a broad base of fan support before you start scaring the shit out of the midwest.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "the home-schooled heartthrobs known as hanson, the 1995 country music's best new artist 'achy breaky' Billy Ray cyrus, and the reunited, reinvigorated, rehabilitated, three dog night.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "I have a policy... never bump a band that's packin' heat.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, they look like carjackers.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "I gotta tell you, my absolute favorite song is 'shame on a nigga,' you know? Shame on a nigga? Shame on a nigga? No? It's a phat song, you know.", "c": ["Hank", "Wu-Tang member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Where... where is she? Yo, yo, he just got out of jail. You know what I mean? He's just holding down at home for a while, you know? Oh, man, gee, I know that dig, you know.", "c": ["Hank", "Wu-Tang member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "I got parking tickets coming right out of my ass. You know? Fuckers, cops, you know? Fuckers. You know?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "I just... on behalf of all my people, I'd like to apologize.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Yo, these cats is Bunk.", "c": ["Wu-Tang member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Until 10 seconds ago, I was blissfully unaware that such a hitler sketch existed.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, that's why carson's an idiot. 'Cause if he'd just done a pay per view at $39 a pop, he would've made $800 million one night.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "You leave me out there with my pants around my ankles, vaseline on my ass, I don't know what the fuck happened.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "So is Jesus, and we all know where he ended up. Yeah, on the wb.", "c": ["Artie", "Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "I'm actually a very masculine alien trapped in mickey rooney's body. Isn't that sad?", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "Heil now!", "c": ["Hank as Adolf Hankler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "No, I'm sorry. The correct response is, 'what were the Jews?'", "c": ["Hank as Adolf Hankler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "This is really inappropriate. This is offensive. I'm sorry, I can't follow this. I can't go on after this. Didn't you do nazi stuff on Seinfeld? Yeah, that's an entirely different situation.", "c": ["Jason Alexander", "Assistant"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "He's 'hitlarious.'", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "I'm sorry for coming out here and fucking everything up for you, but some of us have to work for a living. We don't go onstage and tell jokes and cash checks and fuck actresses.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "You are selfish. You're selish now. You were selfish when you were 10. It's always you and your career and your show and your therapist, and everyone else is second, me and mom and everybody.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "All right, just tell me the names of my kids. Answer me that.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "I believe tonight will be a best of Larry.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "There's only 2. One's a girl.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Adolf Hankler"}, {"t": "You're not goin' off to college, you know. You're spending a week with a family in wisconsin. Jeez, it's just a bit.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Why should Charles kuralt have a monopoly on this kind of shit? / Hank, Charlie's no longer with us. / I know, that's what I'm saying. It's... it's wide open.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I just realized when I said steven wright, you were actually to my right. It's a good thing your name isn't steven left because I'd be looking this way.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Stephen hawking was mad at me 'cause I took his parking space, and... I said to him, 'don't you have better things to think about?'", "c": ["Steven Wright"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I go to lots of the games, uh-huh. I follow the team regularly, yeah. I love going to fenway park... I do not consider myself a fan. I don't want to be labeled.", "c": ["Steven Wright"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I've been studying Italian for years because I have to study it 'cause I eventually want to teach it.", "c": ["Steven Wright"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I've been raising horses for years. They're getting taller and taller, and, um, it's goin' great. You should come over sometime. We'll watch them.", "c": ["Steven Wright"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Horses are a fabulously interesting animal. They're one of the only species named that.", "c": ["Steven Wright"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I did that once. I lost 15 pounds, but I gained it all back. / I'm not bulimic.", "c": ["Mary Lou", "Beverly"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I'm pregnant, all right? / Oh, my God. Congratulations. Who's the father? / I don't want to discuss it. / It's not Larry, is it? / Close?", "c": ["Beverly", "Mary Lou"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I keep thinking it's Martin lawrence. / Naw, he's too wild. His idea of a first date is driving into a tree.", "c": ["Mary Lou", "Other Writer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I know things you guys don't want to know about Richard mulligan.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah! Yeah, because he's tired of fucking Claudia schiffer.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I just want to make a straight bet, 50 bucks, Billy dee Williams. / Oh, that is so 1970s.", "c": ["Sid", "Writer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I believe the word 'bad' was bandied about.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Jimmy caan? / No way. He's still tied up in court.", "c": ["Writers"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "A lot of people don't know Hank used to work at the house of pies before he worked here.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "she was the, uh, first one, uh, in her neighborhood to own a minsk coat. / I think he means 'mink.' / No, she was from minsk.", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Hank, I'm no expert on pies, but that one looks like it needs to go back in for another 3 or 4 hours. / You forgot to turn the oven on.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Why don't you put your head in there, Hank? See if it's working.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I'm turning into bud melman.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "not a bunch of yokels make Hank look like... an asshole!", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Tonight, didn't it seem more like 54 minutes?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "lady luck just gave me a blow job.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "He was drinking again. He was doing so well. 91 days.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Maybe you should come in a few minutes early each morning, and then you could make some protein shakes, and then, you know, there they'd be.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "If you think I'm gonna come in even a minute early, I think you're out of your mind, because I have a life, OK?", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "What the fuck was that about? / Larry, she's pregnant.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Well, why didn't, um... she tell me? / Well, we thought she should, but she didn't, 'cause, you know, she didn't want to hurt your feelings. You know how close you two are.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "You think I should leave E.R?", "c": ["Eriq La Salle"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I said, when I got back, I wanted you gone. / All right. / Did you hear me? / I want him out of here now. He can take his whore with him, OK?", "c": ["Mr. Schmidt", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Listen to your body. Gimme a porno tape and a pizza. / Ah, comin' right up. / Yes, o best body, I obey.", "c": ["Drew Carey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Chef boyardee, aunt jemima, fightin' Irish. / 'Cause all I can tell you, if you're an American indian, and you're offended by the logo, all I can tell you is, hey, you should have fought harder.", "c": ["Drew Carey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "If women ran the country, there would be no war. / Yeah, I'm sure no one would start a fight for no reason at all if women ran the world.", "c": ["Drew Carey"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "You mention one hooker, you gotta mention 'em all. You never think they could be so territorial, but Jesus Christ.", "c": ["Drew Carey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Great to be here at caesars. I've only been here a day. I'm already up 10 grand. Of course, I had to let a fat arab fuck me up the ass, but, hey.", "c": ["Drew Carey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I think women are like snow flakes, you know, you have to have... / are you fucking my secretary?", "c": ["Drew Carey", "Larry"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "are you fucking my secretary? No, you want me to?", "c": ["Larry", "Drew Carey"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "basically messed up and got his girlfriend pregnant, and they had a baby. / Talk about human, right?", "c": ["Eriq La Salle", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I'm pregnant. / Hey, the more, the merrier.", "c": ["Beverly", "Eriq La Salle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "They're just a pair of lungs with a dick.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Yes! Thank you! / You... whoa, whoa, whoa!", "c": ["Eriq La Salle", "Beverly"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Still get the phantom tangle.", "c": ["Michael Bolton"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "First of all, I did not fuck your assistant. / She's a fan of mine, she's been to a lot of shows, and I don't fuck all my fans, OK?", "c": ["Michael Bolton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "That haircut is gay. Do you know that? / Seriously? / My haircut's gay? / No. Their haircut.", "c": ["Larry", "Michael Bolton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "I think I put that guy in his place. / Who, Michael? / Yeah. / Well, I'm glad you feel good about it, because it turns out that it's la salle.", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "We should send bolton some flowers.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Beverly's Secret"}, {"t": "Yeah, but what, like a penny every 11 years? I mean, what is it... what is it now, 32 cents. Whoo-ooh-ooh... is it 32 cents? That sounds high.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "You're a funny guy.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "when celebrity relationships go public, and... I don't know. It starts to ruin everything.", "c": ["Larry", "Unknown woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Sounds captivating.", "c": ["Unknown woman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Screw you, Larry! My mother and I always hated you!", "c": ["Sid as Liza Minnelli"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Tour de force. New face in town, Sid. Hilarious.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "It means that you're a fucking freak.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "You don't know the fucking difference between being laughed with and being laughed at.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "He said, 'is there a man in your life with a 'd' and an 'a' and a 'd?' I said, 'yeah, that's my dad.'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "On most nights, you'd be batting 1,000.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Is there also an 'h,' and an 'r,' char?", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "You have the worse handwriting than stephen hawking.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Good for you. You gotta set an example. No. I mean, he killed himself.", "c": ["Artie", "Hank"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Some nights you have such special... special show where you have terrific guests, and some nights, honestly, you just have, you know, average guests. But tonight's one of those nights where we have... have really good guests.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "I wonder if they'll ask me to be a pallbearer? Because, you know, I have a bad... back? Shoulder?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "I told him he was a... a... a fourth rate Larry bud melman.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Call rosie grier. Ask him if he'll come over and pray with me.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "cue card men never die. They just get whited out.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "No flipping. Shut up, Phil.", "c": ["Phil", "Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "It didn't work, but you know why? Because you went so long. You know, you killed the whole audience.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "A very gifted actor who people laughed with and not at.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Um, you know, snaps.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Got a lot of unpaid bills, and, uh, insurance policy, borrowed money, and I'd like to help, but I'm living on unemployment...", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "because I loved him.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Fake things. I mean, you know... oh. Fake dinosaurs.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Wasn't it at a function where I don't remember you?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Fuck me.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Uh, does anybody take discover anymore? I mean, was this guy current on anything?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "What did you say to Sid? When? Right after rehearsal when you walked away from me and made a beeline backstage, probably to tell him how rotten he was and how much better you'd be in the sketch, right?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "We... we never got to that.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Really? What kind of car did Sid have? We... we never got to that.", "c": ["Hank", "Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "He had her stashed in a little place in the valley. He used to bang her at lunch.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "I thought his wife was dead. Sid. No. I guess he liked to tell people that.", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "I guess he liked to tell people that.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Can you imagine killing yourself over a couple of chicks?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "He... he wants you to do the sketch.", "c": ["Char the psychic"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "We'll have you on another night. No, you won't.", "c": ["Larry", "Laura Dern"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "I would love to cook for you, and... and, um... why don't we take a break?", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Give my best to your mom and your dad, dern old bruce.", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "It was like when you were interviewing Dan rather.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Aw, screw you, Larry. I gotta tell you something. My mom and I always hated you.", "c": ["Hank as Liza Minnelli"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Well, at you, but hilarious. You were good.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Were they, uh... were they laughing with me or were they laughing at me? Well, at you, but hilarious.", "c": ["Phil", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Oh, Sid, you fuck. You tricked me, buddy.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "I just ran into a psychic in the parking lot who told me that you and Laura are an item. Is this the truth? Is this the truth?", "c": ["Jerry Stiller"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "I Buried Sid"}, {"t": "Lesbian?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "I didn't know they were lesbians. Is there some message there I didn't pick up?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Maybe we should finish these questions here at dinner and just wrap this thing up. Get rid of Hank and the audience and just, uh... discuss the rest of these on our own.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Jeff goldblum. You were gonna ask me about Jeff. That's the promo card.", "c": ["Larry", "Guest"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "That's Larry for 'I hate this guy.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "I have nothing else to do. / That's so sad.", "c": ["Mary Lou", "Wendy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "we can go to my house and see a little tape I like to call too hot for TV, totally uncensored.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Um... have you ever had a 'collinoscopy'?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Not officially.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Hank, how do you ask somebody out who's seen the inside of your ass?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "How could you tell? Weren't you facing the other way?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "You know, it usually takes several years to get to that level of intimacy.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "I bonded with a man completely non-sexually the other day.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "okay. No good? / No, I think it might make Larry uncomfortable.", "c": ["Hank", "Mary Lou"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "My neck is 4 inches long... flaccid.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "I think this is a funnier area of the bathroom. I think I could really kill here, yeah. Hey, how ya doin', folks? Great to be here... by the tampon dispenser!", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Hey, how ya doin', folks? Great to be here... by the tampon dispenser!", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "No, these are pajamas.", "c": ["Jeff Goldblum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "I don't know. What do they wear?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Listen, uh, we were talking earlier in the makeup room. I meant to tell you, you know, I asked out Gina gershon when she did the show.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Anyway we're off the air in 2 fucking weeks.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "how you can date Hank after seeing, you know... inside? / Because I once saw him in a speedo, and I couldn't eat for a week.", "c": ["Phil", "Dr. Monica"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "You fucking rule! You fucking rule!", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "how you can date Hank after seeing, you know... inside? Because I once saw him in a speedo, and I couldn't eat for a week.", "c": ["Phil", "Monica"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Hank, higher. 12. Why don't we take a break and... we'll come, uh, right back and watch Hank guess the entire current nfl roster and their numbers and weights.", "c": ["Larry", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "I sent her, uh... I sent her Bob costas. I sent her, uh, brent musberger. John madden drove all the way across the country just to see her. Howie long. Howie... howie goes once a week.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "I sent her Bob costas. I sent her, uh, brent musberger. John madden drove all the way across the country just to see her. Howie long. Howie... howie goes once a week.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "I mean, she gives great scope, you know?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "You mean Larry? Oh, ha! You see? You're gonna kill 'em.", "c": ["Wendy", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "So I'm sitting at home this morning, uh, watching porn as I'm wont to do from time to time", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Ron jeremy is masturbating, uh, and he's got his pinky out, and I found out why he does that. I found out why he masturbates with his pinky out. It's because he's classy.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "My neck is 4 inches long flaccid.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "But, uh, I don't see why he had to call me a whore.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "And all of a sudden, I'm thinking, 'oh, my God. I'm turning into my mother.'", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Especially because he didn't do anything.", "c": ["Wendy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "In this business, shows come and go. And friendships, well... they come and go, too, but as long as you kill, everybody's happy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "I probably thought of it as a fucking tailgate party.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Maybe harder. I think she wants it harder. Yeah. A little harder!", "c": ["Gina", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Every time I take a bite out of the chicken, I thought it was your eyebrow. I couldn't even eat it.", "c": ["Jeff Goldblum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "she had an orgasm practically when you... were massaging her foot. / Do you think so? / As close as I've seen.", "c": ["Jeff", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Just the Perfect Blendship"}, {"t": "Yeah, I was up till 4:00 in the morning fucking my brains out.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Eww! Nobody wants to hear that, phil. / I do.", "c": ["Beverly", "Brian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "What is it, some gay holiday? Gay groundhog day?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "You know, on my way into work I figured out what the faggiest car you could drive is. A rose parade float.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I drive a saturn. / I stand corrected.", "c": ["Brian", "Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Uh, shouldn't you be working on the monologue, Phil? / This is the monologue.", "c": ["Brian", "Phil"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "You know how you can tell you're gay? It's when you lean over and you see 4 balls.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Gay people makes really dramatic exits... A walk to the door... A graceful pivot... One last look of contempt... And slam!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "You're a real jerk. / Nice slam!", "c": ["Brian", "Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "You're a funny man and a great environmentalist, which explains why you're always recycling jokes.", "c": ["Ed Begley Jr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Now, Hank, if this runs, am I gonna get paid?", "c": ["Ed Begley Jr."], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "But lucky for you, one of bobby berosini's chimps fell off his bike, so you can have 5 minutes Friday night.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I mean, not the place where he hit his head and died and everything. It was, actually, another place.", "c": ["Illeana"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "She's a good guest, right? / Absolutely. / Really? / Absolutely. / Please, don't ask me again. / She's a good guest, right?", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Well, there's no dead spots, that's for sure.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Sweetie, the last show is packed fuller than Barishnikov's tights.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "On august fourth I said I didn't eat meat, and phil said, 'Does that mean your boyfriend has a tofu cock?'", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I hate going to hawaii because I can't tell the native hawaiians from the homosexuals, because they're both wearing the same shirts.", "c": ["Brian reading Phil's quote"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I tried to do windsurfing, and accidentally got a blow job.", "c": ["Brian reading Phil's quote"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 4.87, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "It doesn't even make sense. / What gay guys wear Hawaiian shirts? / Have you been on santa monica boulevard in the last 10 years? / I take sunset.", "c": ["Brian", "Beverly"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "So, show your tits. / What? / Well, you know, like you did on-- on Letterman.", "c": ["Hank", "Drew Barrymore"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "What the fuck are you talking about? / Cut. Cut. Cut.", "c": ["Drew Barrymore", "Director"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I thought that was, like, your shtick, you know. Like I do 'hey now.'", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Do you want to show a little, uh-- No? A little tuckus?", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "You haven't thought about it? It's comin' up in a couple days. / I know. I thought I'd just wing it. / Wing it?", "c": ["Larry", "Illeana"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "You're gonna be great. You're always great when you wing it.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, I hear he's gay! / Fuck you.", "c": ["Hank", "Artie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "It's thicker than Heidi fleiss' phone book.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Well, I suggest you try to get to the good jokes without going through Brian's ass.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "[Straining] We are great.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "[Straining] We are great.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Phil, do you like my outfit? / Yes, I do. / Isn't it fetching? / Yeah, that's-- that's not the word I'm looking for.", "c": ["Brian", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "What, did you get that at the freddy mercury estate sale?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "And when I say 'straight,' I mean guys. And when I say 'come,' I mean on my face.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I wish my ass looked like that.", "c": ["Beverly"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I think my dog is gay because his penis tastes bitter.", "c": ["Phil reading from lawsuit"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "That's my joke. / He's a fucking asshole. / Absolutely.", "c": ["Phil", "Artie", "Beverly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Did you see what he was wearing? This is entrapment!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "You know who runs this town? / The jews. / No. The gay jews.", "c": ["Artie", "Phil", "Artie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "It just didn't feel...sincere. / I would just-- I would make it bigger.", "c": ["Hank", "Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Bruno kirby doesn't take direction from some talk show sidekick. / Now you've got something. Bring that-- / I was in the godfather, for god's sake.", "c": ["Bruno Kirby", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "And Bruno Kirby doesn't take direction from some talk show sidekick.", "c": ["Bruno Kirby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Oh, well, see I only-- I only saw the third one, the good one.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Oh, well, see I only-- I only saw the third one, the good one.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Cockaponset. / Pardon me? / What? / What was cockaponset? / The name of the forest. / Oh, that's hilarious.", "c": ["Illeana", "Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "And I said, 'hey, I need a psychic for that?'", "c": ["Illeana"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Wow! A little clear-air turbulence right there.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "How can it take 17 minutes to read a TV guide?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Wow. Larry's monologue really sucks tonight. / Oh, I'm sorry. / No problem.", "c": ["Beverly", "Brian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Hitting new levels of self-loathing, Larry. / Cheers, motherfucker.", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I actually don't know if anyone is still watching.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Well, I was born black. / What? What does that mean? / Well, you chose to be gay.", "c": ["Beverly", "Brian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Shame about your monologue.", "c": ["Brian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Guess what. I just put a lawyer on retainer. / Five fucking grand for one phone call. / Thank you.", "c": ["Larry", "Brian"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I wore that outfit just to provoke you. / You know that i, um-- I just bought it that morning.", "c": ["Brian", "Brian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Cape fear is the nickname for me in the bedroom. It's a superhero I play. I come out in a cape and have fear written all over one specific part... of my body.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Cape Fear is the nickname for me in the bedroom. It's a superhero I play. I come out in a cape and have fear written all over one specific part... of my body.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna be blackballed by the gay jews.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Was there an all-girls school there, by any chance? / Actually, it was right near beaver meadow.", "c": ["Larry", "Illeana"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I think it's more important to you whether or not I'm a good guest on your show.", "c": ["Illeana"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I'm a fuckin' talk show host, ok? I'm all fucked up.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I paused at the beaver meadow thing. The beaver meadow thing killed. Like you told me. And then I-- I did the cannon joke. The cannon joke? Did you hear the audience?", "c": ["Illeana"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "I paused at the beaver meadow thing. / The beaver meadow thing killed. / Like you told me.", "c": ["Illeana", "Larry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Looks like they settled out of court.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, Drew Barrymore's lawyer just called me. / What's that about?", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, Drew Barrymore's lawyer just called me. / What's that about?", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Putting the \"Gay\" Back in Litigation"}, {"t": "Having run out of fresh, exciting, new ideas to bring you myself", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Some day I may reenter the lists with a new saber, neither broken nor bent, and plow up the field all over again", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Come on, blanket. We're going to go home", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "You think I should mention God? Well, hell, we plugged everybody else on the planet. Let's give the deity his due", "c": ["Larry", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "The last 10 years have been your glorious gift to the people of this country. But they've also have been a gift... to a man by the name of Hank Kingsley", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I think the hormones from the baby... You should've seen me at the end of Titanic. You think those people in the water were wailing?", "c": ["Beverly", "Unknown"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "[Sighs] Fucking bunch of bullshit", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I have this buddy Ray... I could take the letters that just spell his name, and then I could put them on the lawn of his house", "c": ["Phil", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "But if it was up to me, seriously, you would not get them", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "You know tomorrow night after the show? You're fired. But for the last time, so celebrate", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Don't ask me for the couch", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I think my thank-you should not come directly after yours, 'cause that would sound tit for tat", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Don't lump me in with those fucking craft service retards", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Like wedding vows... I think you should wear a veil. I think we should come down the aisle together, maybe in white", "c": ["Hank", "Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Think she'll cry? Well, I didn't go so far as to make the request, but that call can be made", "c": ["Larry", "Artie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "That's a man. That's a fucking man! I don't want a fucking man singing to me", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "You don't have to worry about the homoerotic underpinnings. He's a country music singer", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Well, that's iffy because we never let him plug Ace Ventura. Come on, everyone thought he was too broad", "c": ["Artie", "Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Hey, I think that's Warren Beatty in the parking lot. He must still be putting the finishing touches on Bulworth. That's already out. Well, the man is never satisfied", "c": ["Norman", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I could say goodbye to you now... There are no cameras or anything here. Tomorrow night, millions of people", "c": ["Warren", "Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "We believe that David's in love with Larry... He's married. So was Rock Hudson, ok? Oh, it wasn't real. It was arranged by the studios", "c": ["Artie", "Larry", "Norman"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "He slipped on some ice making his new movie. The whole thing was all on ice or something. I don't know", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I know his number by heart because he's a good friend of mine", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "No, it's just that, uh, T\u00e9a's here... It's my mother. It's my mother", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I'm dating Illeana Douglas, as a matter of fact. She's fantastic. It's just a wonderful male-female relationship, and I am so happy", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Meet me at the Bel-Air Hotel around noon... I am not meeting him at the Bel-Air. I am not meeting him...", "c": ["David", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "T\u00e9a? Uh, she went golfing. Really? Yeah. Well, that's fantastic.", "c": ["David", "Larry"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "His behavior was so detesticle... I meant despicable", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Larry's a thing of the past. The guy's the 8-track. He's a fucking horse and buggy, that guy. This is Darwinism", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I would skip 'challenge.' Leave out 'challenge.' Do 'honor.' That's a good note, and I'll-- Tighten it up. Get to the jokes", "c": ["Larry", "Jon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Did Stevie Grant tell you that he was signing me beforehand? No. No, he didn't. I didn't know that. Well-- Well, well, hello, Jon", "c": ["Larry", "Jon", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Faces from the past. They always show up for a wrapped gift", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I just wanted to see after you fired me and fucked up my life if you'd stand there and smile at me like we were old buddies. Well, now you know", "c": ["Jerry", "Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "This is Martin, the sound guy you fired after he hit you in the head with a boom. 3 days in a row. Still a record", "c": ["Unknown", "Martin"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I didn't realize it was the end of the show till last night. I was lying in bed with a woman, and I said, 'Seriously, we're gonna have you on soon.'", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "This show is like my sex life in that it lasts about an hour, there's applause, and I'm usually interrupted by Hank", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "When we started this show 10 years ago, Michael Jackson still looked like Michael Jackson", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I'm acting now... It's a snap. One minute I'm talking to Tempestt Bledsoe at 1:35 in the morning about her dogs or something, next thing you know I got a nomination", "c": ["Greg Kinnear"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I can't do comedy right now... You're leaving, Larry. Just when I thought everything was solid in my life... You decide to go", "c": ["Jim Carrey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I can't get it up. Ever since the announcement, I've been flaccid", "c": ["Jim Carrey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "The elaborate 'No Way' chant and song performance", "c": ["Jim Carrey", "Audience"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Let's just cut the crap, Larry. You never liked my work. Till I got hugely famous", "c": ["Jim Carrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Let's just cut the crap, Larry. Ok? You never liked my work. Huh? Till I got hugely famous.", "c": ["Jim Carrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I'm here for 3 good reasons. Last show, big ratings, movie coming out. Bim, bam, boom. Otherwise, I'd be sitting home watching Nightline", "c": ["Jim Carrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "For what, Talk Soup?", "c": ["Clint Black"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I haven't seen such a rumble since the Stones played Altamont", "c": ["Tom Petty"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "I haven't seen such a rumble since the Stones played Altamont.", "c": ["Tom Petty"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "You've already got Roy Rogers.", "c": ["Tom Petty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Flip"}, {"t": "Carol reveals she wasn't the first person Larry called, exposing his lie", "c": ["Carol Burnett", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Ellen's surprise appearance to resolve the lie", "c": ["Ellen", "Larry Sanders", "Carol Burnett"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Ellen reveals Larry called her Tuesday morning, Carol Wednesday", "c": ["Ellen", "Carol Burnett", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Larry's desperate 'Don't do this to me... this is my last night'", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Larry's oblivious 'I wish I still had my show so I could have you on'", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Carol Burnett"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Carol calling Larry out as 'going out like this as a liar'", "c": ["Carol Burnett", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Carol's meta comment 'It's not written like some of this stuff'", "c": ["Carol Burnett"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Sean Penn's stewardess script confrontation story", "c": ["Sean Penn", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Larry's 'Was the script that bad?' when Penn mentions FAR violations", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Sean Penn"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Larry asking Sean Penn who's on the 'low end' of acting ability in Hurlyburly", "c": ["Larry Sanders", "Sean Penn"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Sean Penn's backstage roasting of Larry to the crew", "c": ["Sean Penn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Penn describing Larry asking 'How was I?' before director says cut", "c": ["Sean Penn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "But he was constantly after her, trying to get in her trailer.", "c": ["Sean Penn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Tim Allen's aggressive entrance: 'Hey, close the fucking door!'", "c": ["Tim Allen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Allen's crude comparison: 'I took a shit this morning with more talent'", "c": ["Tim Allen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Allen's bitter 'Fucking celebrity circle jerk' comment during on-air sentiment", "c": ["Tim Allen"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Tim Allen's 'Jungle 2 Jungle? Underrated.' exit line", "c": ["Tim Allen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, my god. Jerry Seinfeld!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "This show isn't going to be syndicated. Oh, that's right. That's me.", "c": ["Jerry Seinfeld", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Jerry's quick exit after realizing he confused shows: 'Then you're definitely doing the right thing'", "c": ["Jerry Seinfeld"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Clint Black's 'They said if I did real well, you'd have me back again'", "c": ["Clint Black", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "The mystery surprise that was forgotten", "c": ["Clint Black", "Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Larry's impatient 'Play the damn song' interrupting Clint's setup", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Got another job. Oh, great. Tell me. It sucks.", "c": ["Beverly", "Artie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Artie's new job description: asking 'fucking eggheads' about the Monroe Doctrine", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Phil considering Hank's $300/week job with no benefits", "c": ["Phil", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Bruno's interruption and angry reaction to being bumped", "c": ["Bruno"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Bruno's homophobic 'A man singing to a man. How fuckin' sick is that?'", "c": ["Bruno"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "A man singing to a man. How fuckin' sick is that?", "c": ["Bruno"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "There is no 'another time.' The party is over. This is it.", "c": ["Bruno"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Larry's joke about ending up with 'The Ropers' 9 times out of 10", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Larry's 'I can't get off the stool' physical comedy", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Larry's final concern: 'I hope we beat Leno'", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Artie's observation about the desk position: 'If you had done it that way, we'd probably still be on the air'", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "And the part about whining about my ass. You're gonna miss that a little bit, aren't you?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Hank's explosive rant about being treated like 'the little fucking dog at the end of the couch'", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Thank you for not letting me say my thank you. I mean, I knew you guys were pieces of shit, but I, you know, I had no idea.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Hank's honest admission: 'Well, more money than pussy'", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "One more remark, and I swear, I'll fucking choke you with my hands!", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "And you, sir, are not in it, and you, sir, are not in it.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Oh, that's just a consulting gig, you know. That doesn't count.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Rosie wants to come back nice this time, so she wants to have me come around one day a week to scare the shit out of her staff.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Larry's casual mention of his date with Illeana Douglas", "c": ["Larry Sanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Hank's final 'I'm such a prick' self-awareness", "c": ["Hank Kingsley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Larry Sanders Show", "ss": "the-larry-sanders-show", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Flip (2)"}, {"t": "Will mistakes Geoffrey the butler for Uncle Phil", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "I didn't know there were so many brothers living in this neighborhood", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Okay, well, I... Cheerio and all that rot. Bring the horses round, would you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Who are you, Robo-butler, man?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Make it sound like we're back on the plantation, like: 'Massa William! Massa William!'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Check this: 'His Royal Freshness.' That's dope.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Geoffrey says 'Master William, walk this way' and Will responds 'No.'", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "That was the plan.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "The plane ride translation confusion - 'stupid' to 'dope' to 'neat'", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "You got to love this guy, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "That's stupid. / Now he's got you doing it.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Next time I go to my room, I'm gonna take some bread crumbs.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Hi. My little Scottish cousin.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Don't you just hate it when that happens? / Yes, that is my pet peeve.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Yo, this is better than Love Boat. This boy gonna be maxing and relaxing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Hi. Dad, I need $300. / Hi. Dad, I need $300.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "For what? / Probably her head.", "c": ["Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Look, if this weren't a good idea, I really don't think Ally Sheedy would be involved.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Hey, look who's here. Benson.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "But I didn't get you anything.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Yo, are we having a party? We're gonna get stupid, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "For some of us, that will require very little effort indeed.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "That's all you had to say to get rid of him? I've been racking my brain.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Not deaf. D-E-F. That's just slang. Means terrific, good.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "The rap battle with Ashley about the chorus audition", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "When you two were little, people thought you were twins. You looked exactly alike. / I guess some things never change.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "And Bryant Gumbel. He's darn good.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Other than that thing at Buckingham Palace, no.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Yes. It's definitely the cat's meow.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "I don't think you have to worry about anybody mistaking you for a brother.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Touch\u00e9.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Not Will. President Reagan.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "He's turned down the last 16 invitations. When are you gonna take a hint?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Where can I send a donation? / I don't know.", "c": ["Guest", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Earth, Wind & Fire! When's your next album coming out?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Really? How much do you think we could get for that stereo?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "How could you do that? / It's all in the tongue. I'll show you later.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Any requests?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Ashley's grace rap ending with 'Thank you, God, for this stupid food'", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "I officially go off duty at 9:00 p.m. And if you care to look at your watch, you will note that the long hand is on 12, and the short hand is on 9. It is 9:00, Master William.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "And do you know what that means? / Masterpiece Theatre is on.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Man, I was with you up till 'skewering.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "You actually heard Malcolm speak, man?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "He really likes the Care Bears.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "It's that he's from Mars, Ashley.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "You're like the big brother I never had. / What are you talking about? You got... You're right. I see your point.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "A half bath? How does that work? / You better show me a full bathroom. I don't want to take no chances.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Can't a person gargle in peace?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "I knew it!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "The Fresh Prince Project"}, {"t": "Perhaps a gun.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "When Crackle and Pop cut a disc, then call me.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "What's so funny? - Carlton told a joke. No, Hilary. Carlton is a joke.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Didn't you have a schedule for after school at my age? Yeah, the TV Guide.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "I just pictured it.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "I'm two for two. I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "May I suggest retirement?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "I just don't want to do it, okay?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Word up. Kick over the keys to the Jag. - The Benzito? - The station wagon.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Come on, you're gonna ruin my rep. You're only 17. You don't have a rep yet.", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "The same thing I learned from banging my head against a pole: Don't do it again.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "I'll be more than happy to drive you to the Piggly Wiggly, Miss Daisy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "You make me kind of nervous with that stick, lady.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "I wasn't as tight with the man as you were.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Do not attempt to make joke with me. I was lover of both Laurel and Hardy.", "c": ["Madame Chatchka"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Hey, Ash, that was decent to listen to that kind of music... without having to see Freddy Krueger kill somebody.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "No, wait. That's tennis.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Ash, the world does not need another Philip Banks. We might not have enough farmland to support the one we have.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Let's just say that lady expects a lot from a piece of wood and some strings.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "And, Geoffrey, they were just repainting the office.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Then what was the point of the story? Sheer entertainment, sir.", "c": ["Philip", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "I believe the technical term is a 'rim shot.'", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "He owns this great store where you don't need any money. You just go in and give him something you don't even want anymore... and he gives you this ticket.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "You don't have many pawnshops in Bel-Air. That's really a shame.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Daddy, it's a diamond. No, it isn't. - You don't like it? - No, I do not. Can I have it?", "c": ["Ashley", "Philip", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "A girlie that can play the drums can write her own ticket.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Philip, when I met you, you were into James Brown. - He liked James Brown? - He even wore his hair like him. He had hair?", "c": ["Vivian", "Will", "Hilary", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "You got that right. Man, you're loaded!", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "From now on, I'm no longer Philip Banks. Just call me King Edward IV. As you wish, Your Majesty.", "c": ["Philip", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Humor, sir.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "I can't answer that question for you, son. Ask your mother.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Same thing.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "but she will not be on Yo! MTVRaps if you all don't work with me.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "Tea. Biscuits!", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "I thought this was sterling. It's got that certain weight to it.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "You drop-kicked a human being across our front lawn.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "It felt good, damn it.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "I'm back in the saddle again.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "You know, I think living down the street from the Reagans has had a very bad effect on you.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "I hope this isn't going to be one of those Theo moments.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "You must have caught her on one of her rare free nights.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "These kids today have no attention span. I blame television.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bang The Drum Ashley"}, {"t": "What dog did he steal that sweater from? Probably his wife.", "c": ["Will", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Good God, who shot the couch?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Give her a break, Hilary. She just won the Kentucky Derby.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Who's that lady with Nell Carter? That's not Nell Carter. That's my father!", "c": ["Unknown", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "God, you're so shallow. I hate you. You're stupid and ugly and I wish you would die. -Sorry. -Okay.", "c": ["Hilary", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Look at her! Brake! Hit the brake, Will!", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "I panicked. That squirrel came out of nowhere.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Mr. Banks, but no golf carts in the dining room.", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "I wouldn't be surprised if they revoked our shuffleboard privileges.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Special bulletin. Hormones to Will.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Why do they call him that? Because he never says 'yes.'", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Out of here, son. You disgust me.", "c": ["Dr. Mumford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Boy, you must be on dog food.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "and unequivocally the most flamboyant bachelor since Billy Dee.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Who says the art of conversation is dead?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Carlton, it's very easy to be a geek. All I have to do is follow you around for a day.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "It isn't as easy as it looks.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Say there, Mimi... might I say that you rate a perfect 10 on my niftiness meter?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "I don't think so.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Philip, that's what you did on our first date. That's right. You're lucky you got a second one.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "My life was but a mere whisper until you entered into it.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Baby!", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Get your own geisha.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "By george, I think he's got it. I think he's got it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Probably off the rack.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Did you hear about his Jaguar? The one he bought secondhand?", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Bend over. It's Andover. We're going back home.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Smithers, sir. Kip Smithers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "The cutting part.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "That's the part I like, too.", "c": ["Dr. Mumford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Really? With turbans and everything?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Very funny, Smithers. You had me there for a moment. I thought you were a blithering idiot.", "c": ["Dr. Mumford"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Gosh, sir. There's a big question mark on that one.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "I am sick of you white-washed, preppy stuffed shirts.", "c": ["Mimi"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Someone from the streets.", "c": ["Mimi"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Yo, baby. Your prince is in effect, baby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "That was the worst homeboy act I've ever heard.", "c": ["Mimi"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "He's Kip Smithers, from Connecticut. He transferred from Andover to Bel-Air, so he could row with the crew.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "England?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "For future reference, Will, our club frowns on strangulation.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "I finally found the perfect pair of alligator pumps... to wear to the Save the Everglades rally tonight.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "That fat girl?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Not today. Liposuction.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Just wave a chili-cheese dog in front of her nose... and see how much of your arm you come back with.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "A sorrier bunch of deadbeats you'll never meet.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "See, I fooled you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "You went to Penn State. I went to the state pen.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Sorry. I thought Penn State was bad enough.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "K-I-P. It stands for conceived in prison.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "No, baby. You misunderstood. He said I wrote for the 2 Live Crew.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "But, see, they kicked me out because my lyrics was too abrasive.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Baby. You look so good... I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Baby. You look so good... I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Yo, baby, Fresh Prince in full effect. It's time to get busy. You can't hay, can you, baby?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "This music is def, exceptionally def.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "I told him if he don't stay out my face, we would take it to the street.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "I wasn't listening to him, baby. I was stealing his wallet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Okay, baby. This one I got banned in Buffalo for.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "And that is just the type of music we will not let our children listen to.", "c": ["Dr. Mumford"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Who put this on my head?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "I'm Will Smith from West Philly... and I've been busting my butt all night trying to impress you... and trying to scare you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "baby, ain't no girl that fly for me to go through all this trouble for.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Wasn't he gorgeous?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "Well, then her husband came in.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Clubba Hubba"}, {"t": "What is the highest recognition a self-made Black professional can receive? A raise!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Is it a cash award?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Hilary, don't be so shortsighted. This award is an honor which leads to prestige... which leads to cash.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "The only time you're on the streets is when you're waiting for the valet to bring your car around.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Seems to me every place you go, trouble follows.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "All that and he still found time to vote for Reagan. Twice.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Reporter? Photographer? New dress.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Daddy, this is wonderful. Two new dresses.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Great. Grandma and Grandpa are coming to visit. Toys.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Come on, Ash. Less like George Michael, more like Hammer. Come on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "That's it. Baby, you got to put some more butt into it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "I don't know, Hattie. He don't look like the devil incarnate.", "c": ["Joe (Grandpa)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Zeke? ... Hey, Uncle Zeke.", "c": ["Will", "Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Am I tripping, or does this remind you of the last episode of Family Ties?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "When you sent that money, me and my buddy Leroy went down to the dry goods store and we each got a suit, a fishing rod, and some radial tires.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "One pound of lard, four handfuls poke greens, and a big old slab of fatback. Now, if it comes to more than $1, they're cheating you.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Have mercy!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "He would strip down to his birthday suit and dive right in.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "He just loved his skinny-dipping, him and Melvin.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "So, Melvin was like his best friend? Melvin was his pig.", "c": ["Will", "Hattie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Are any of them humiliating stories? The best ones are.", "c": ["Will", "Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "How did you see me? Mama knows.", "c": ["Will", "Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "How much is a little? Let's just say I went out after I was supposed to be in.", "c": ["Hattie", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "I don't know what you all got that Geoffrey for.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil's adopted, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Won it four years running. They had to retire his slop bucket.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Slop bucket? I can't wait till he wakes up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "They told him to leave, but little Zeke just stood his ground.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "What is this, the von Trapp family?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Sorry, Dad. All of Grandma's pies last night and waffles this morning. I just crashed. I've got the sugar blues. I'm this close to a crying jag.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Your father sent a picture in already. Am I in it? Yes, you are. Am I pretty?", "c": ["Reporter", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Well, I really don't like to blow my own horn. Growing up on the mean streets of Baltimore, Maryland...", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "remained active in the field of civil rights culminating in his crowning achievement in 1975 when he was elected to the board of the ASPCA.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "ASPCA?", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "After living in Bel-Air, it was great to spend time at Disneyland to get back to reality.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Dull? Sweetheart, that's one thing my uncle is not. Max out, lady. I got a couple of stories for you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Madam, the press is made up of a very low type of person. You see what they've done to Fergie.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Known to his barnyard companions as Zeke, Banks is no stranger to accolades. This ex-hog-handler slopped his way to the top with the help of his trusted companion Melvin the pig.", "c": ["Philip (reading)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Hey, Uncle Zeke. I got your 100 black and whites.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Will, honey... run.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Where I come from they call that being ashamed... Mr. Big Shot!", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "We don't want to be a bother. We'll just hang on to these empty plates.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "We don't want to impose. We'll just fade into the background.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Got any okra casserole?", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "To hear him tell it, he just sprung full-grown from the ground and we had nothing to do with it.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Yes, he just sprung up like a big old eggplant.", "c": ["Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "You're the hog-slopping lawyer. I saw your picture in the paper this morning. Is Melvin going to be here tonight?", "c": ["Stranger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "No, Melvin eschews these type of events. I'm the same way.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, your plaid golf shorts make you look like a fool. Those stories make you look great.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "I mean, look, Uncle Phil, it's just like Rosa Parks. When she sat in the front of the bus, she wasn't doing it to prove a point either. She did it 'cause her feet hurt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "Will, there's something you have to learn. Sometimes parents just don't understand.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "I hope he mentions his pig.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Not With My Pig You Dont"}, {"t": "quiet as a church mouse. Hasn't spoken a word for hours. What a shame.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Poor homesick baby. I have an idea. If Will is that homesick, let's send him home.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Which is why you only ate five of them?", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "It's a sandwich composed of cheese, steak, and a croissant de boulanger from the Caf\u00e9 Antoinette in Beverly Hills.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "See, look at the bag. No grease stain. If this were authentic, you could see right through the bag by now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "I'm sorry you don't like it. I'll dispose of it later. - I'll throw it out. - I'll dispose of it, Ashley.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "We used to steal... I mean, we would enjoy them there often.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Ice Tray grabbed onto the back of a bus and it was so cold, his face got stuck. And he was dragged around the city. He couldn't get off till he hit a bump on the Ben Franklin Bridge.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "That's a story we can all relate to.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Word up. This is gonna be cold stupid on the serious tip. What did you say, young lady? I said that this is quite an exceptional idea, Daddy. Peachy-keen, even. Later, my man.", "c": ["Ashley", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Wonderful. First Will, now Ashley. I can't wait till Ice Box gets here. No, it's Ice Tray, Uncle Phil. Ice Tray. I apologize. Ice Box would be an idiotic name.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Dad, I need $200. I'll take him to Hilaryland.", "c": ["Hilary", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "You know, it's like communications. It's, like, the study of communicating, okay?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "That's okay, Vivian. Let's see where this goes.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Well, no. You still got it, man.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Ice Tray"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "This is my bodyguard, Geoffrey. All of this is my Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Remember we used to say that Daffy Duck must have a little brother somewhere? Meet my cousin Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Can't touch this.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Yo, man, what's with him? It's a tan.", "c": ["Ice Tray", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Three times? See, my motto is, when I find a grade I like, I stick with it.", "c": ["Ashley", "Ice Tray"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Education is the mortar that builds the temple of success. That's what I personally think. Like who cares?", "c": ["Carlton", "Ice Tray"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "And O-Money got his hair cut to look like the Chrysler Building. That's good, though, man. That Mount Rushmore thing was not working.", "c": ["Ice Tray", "Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Too easy.", "c": ["Ice Tray"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "See, my motto is... Lord, if there's anything like work around my heart, please remove it.", "c": ["Ice Tray"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "I smell something greasy. Too easy.", "c": ["Ice Tray"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Prince said y'all was loaded, and when in Rome, do as. $100? I got a cash flow problem. You see, my Korean Gucci bags, they just ain't been moving lately.", "c": ["Ice Tray"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "When you really look at it, how different is Ice Tray from Carlton? With all due respect, Mom, I think he's a little fonder of the 10th grade than I.", "c": ["Aunt Viv", "Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "She was so ugly, she was oogly. She was so ugly, Freddy Krueger had nightmares about her.", "c": ["Ice Tray"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "That girl was so dumb, it took her an hour to cook Minute Rice.", "c": ["Ice Tray"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "She was so skinny, you could tie a rope around her head and use her like a tetherball pole.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Stacy was so dumb that she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "You know people are rich when they got all this stuff they got no use for.", "c": ["Ice Tray"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Really? 'From the library of Master William Smith.' Who's tired now, homey?", "c": ["Ice Tray"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "That was cool, till them guys jumped me, trying to steal my pizza. Yo, they was upset.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "I'll give you a transcript, Philip. Tray: 'Hi.' Hilary: 'Hi.'", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Hair? I thought it was a hat.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Mrs. Banks. No one will ever see it.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Seriously. If somebody's chasing him, he can jack a fence like that. But if somebody catch him, it don't matter. The boy got a crazy rabbit punch, like you don't even see it coming. You out of there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "What job could he have in the law firm? I don't know. Lawyer?", "c": ["Aunt Viv", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "That shouldn't matter to you, Vivian. You're the one who invited Ashtray. In fact, why don't we invite some more of Will's friends out? Let's just put a big neon sign out in front of the house that says 'Homeboy Hotel.'", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "I have the perfect solution for dealing with Mr. Ice Pick. My street savvy should not be taken lightly.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Dad, has Mom been drinking? Nonsense, Carlton. She's just being polite to our lovely houseguest. Have you been drinking?", "c": ["Hilary", "Uncle Phil", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Not to me. Of course, I'm sober.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "I don't eat nothing that leaves a trail.", "c": ["Ice Tray"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "I can just see Hilary and Tray in their tiny little love nest in Philadelphia with the pitter-patter of five little Ice Cubes.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "while her loving husband is working his night job on the corner as a Korean Gucci bag representative.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "I guess I'll be driving home tonight.", "c": ["Ice Tray"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "That's good, because Hilary and I got married this afternoon. Hilary, no! How could you do this to us? How could you be so stupid?", "c": ["Ice Tray", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Mom, take it down 1,000.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Shall I call for a car, sir, or just shoot him out of a cannon?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "I mean cab, madam.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "I shall load Mr. Tray's belongings into the cannon. I mean cab, madam.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "I'd recover, Will.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "That's our china dog. Yeah. I figured y'all were so nice to me and everything that I don't need it. That was a joke.", "c": ["Ice Tray", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Coach?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Homeboy Sweet Homeboy"}, {"t": "Why can't Geoffrey baby-sit her? Because we're giving him the weekend off. You mean I'm going to have to get my own breakfast, too?", "c": ["Carlton", "Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Am I being punished for something? I was just asking myself that same question.", "c": ["Carlton", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "But, Dad, I'm only nine. Can't Hilary take care of herself?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Well, I'm in a bad mood, and somebody is going to suffer.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Yo, Palm Springs, the home of the dental floss bikini.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "You're not going. You better tell that to my mojo because his bags is packed.", "c": ["Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Right away, sir. I shall tend to my hernia a bit later.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Did you see that movie House Party? No. Did you see The Terminator?", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Yo, G. Did you leave a vacuum cleaner on? I just heard a loud sucking noise.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "This is a Black thing, isn't it?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Four: Get the stick out of your butt!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "What do you say to an Oreo? I say, 'What's up, Carlton?'", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Look, thanks a lot, man. Now we got to go back and get my head! And I really liked that head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Punch it, man. We're in a Benz. Are you crazy? I call this a lucky break. A policeman is our pal. We can ask him for directions.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Fool, this is not The Love Connection.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "He's going to tell us to get out of the car. You watch too much TV. Get out of the car.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Where are you from? LA. Not exactly... Next question, please.", "c": ["Officer", "Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Actually we come from Bel-Air. In fact, we live two houses away from the Reagans. We have the same pool man.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Sure. And while you're at it... you might want to give Ron and Nancy a ring-a-ding-ding.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Yale? Marvelous. I've got to go now. See you soon, dear.", "c": ["Mrs. Furth"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "It probably wasn't Yale or Carlton. It probably wasn't even the phone.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Hilary, you're sitting right next to the phone. I don't care. I'm your babysitter. I command you.", "c": ["Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Let me know if it's for me. But, Miss Hilary, I'm off duty. And you're sitting right next to the phone. Yeah, but you're facing the phone.", "c": ["Hilary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Lazy House.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "I'm tired of doing favors for you spoilt children. I'm off duty. I am not an animal.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "I have a 3.95 grade point average... which would have been 4.0, except I had to take a ceramics class... and my pot exploded in my kiln.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Neither will I. The cops took my fake ID.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Any time you see a White guy in jail, you know he did something bad.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Word to Big Bird. We flicked eight Benzitos, 15 Jags, and a Maserati! But I didn't like the upholstery so I took it back, Jack!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "This is the biggest amateur operation I have seen since Mayberry R.F.D.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Calm yourself, Barney Fife.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Open the cell, Jerry.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "or I'll tie this place up with so much litigation... that your grandchildren are gonna need lawyers!", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Peace out, Bob.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "To reward her, we went to this caf\u00e9 that's owned by John Cougar Mellencamp... Kim Basinger, and Doogie Howser's business manager.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Let's go play! Come on, everybody, let's go play!", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Arrested? By who? The fashion police?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "We were breaking the slowness limit. Okay, I've never heard of that law before. But I did hear this other law. It's the 'if you see a Black guy driving anything but a burned-out Pinto... you better stop him because he stole it' law.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "We were breaking the slowness limit. Okay, I've never heard of that law before. But I did hear this other law. It's the 'if you see a Black guy driving anything but a burned-out Pinto... you better stop him because he stole it' law.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "No map is going to save you, and neither is your glee club... or your fancy Bel-Air address or who your daddy is. When you're driving in a nice car in a strange neighborhood... none of that matters. They only see one thing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "I asked myself that question the first time I was stopped. Good night, son.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Mistaken Identity"}, {"t": "Look, Geoffrey. We're voguing. And what is the precise nature of this nervous disorder?", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "It's for people that want to look cool but ain't really got no rhythm.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "You should be good at it. Come on, strike the pose. Unhand me, you ruffian.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Yeah, but Carlton ain't home yet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Window-shop at Randy's Short and Small?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "I belong to the home shopping club.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "And you won't get into any of the good nightclubs. I'll never meet Lisa Bonet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Bring on the clubs.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "If I had the club of my choice, you'd be lying on the floor unconscious.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Lead me to the sisters. I'm ready to get extracurricular.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Call me Ned. You need another member of this poetry club? Will, solid. We could really use a representative of the Black male urban experience.", "c": ["Mr. Fellows"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "More specifically, the handsome Black male urban experience.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "If she didn't, her daddy would have.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Raphael de la Ghetto.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "I am a poet and I do know it. Why don't you recite your poem?", "c": ["Christina", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "No, baby, he used to. He went to the clinic. He's straight now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Poem? Then what you going to do, bake some cookies? Hem a dress?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Let's go get some barbecue and get busy.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Roses are red Violets are blue Pansies are poets Will, tell me it isn't true", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Roses are red Violets are blue Jazz and I are Black, But Carlton, what are you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "The crowd rose to its feet shouting, 'Encore!'", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Looks like you eat here often.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Because girls think with their brains.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Will and Christina sitting in a tree... Beat it.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Wears the same old dashiki and monster afro.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Wears the same old dashiki and monster afro.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "You wouldn't either if you had the same dashiki on for 20 years.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "I'm tired of those grass burns.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "He has to be able to read? That'll cost you two extra Jacksons, but I know a guy.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Here's an extra $10. Get me a Rolex.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Will's gonna get thanked!", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "We heard the buzz about this event on Melrose.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "That's right. I suppose I just get my horoscope out of the air.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Locked up in the steel hotel. Cops caught him with a fistful of toy Rolexes.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "This crowd will get ugly if they got to listen to much more of that.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "There was extenuating circumstances.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Listen, or I'll kill you", "c": ["Geoffrey as Raphael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's a good look for him.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Silence, you ungrateful children. When you're ready to be quiet and listen, I shall return.", "c": ["Geoffrey as Raphael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "I worked all that out in therapy.", "c": ["Jazz as Raphael"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "I worked all that out in therapy.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Let's go get some barbecue And get busy", "c": ["Jazz as Raphael"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Let's go get some barbecue And get busy", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Tell me more.", "c": ["Christina"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Works every time.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "I'm a poet, and it's a lot more ink in this pen.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Psych. We just kidding. Good night, y'all.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Def Poets Society"}, {"t": "Have mercy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.52, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Asking out magazines, Will? / I don't know. Even paper products have some standards.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "What's that, Jody? No, that's as tall as he'll ever be.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Couldn't you wear a very tailored clown suit or something?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Go on, Uncle Phil. You just throw a hairpiece on and come as Mr. T.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I have some bad news for both of you. You're not invited.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Everyone in the family is invited. Besides, I'm sure Carlton and Will have dates. / Yeah, of course. / Oodles.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I guess all things are possible.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I need to get my costume and the mall closes in eight hours.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Won't this be fun? / No.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Like you do? Who are you taking, Page 42?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "It's the law of nature. It's called the survival of the handsomest.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Girls surround me in the parking lot and rip the doors off my car.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "You better buy the mask first.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Carlton, this is gonna be about as much of a contest as Mike Tyson versus Fred Savage.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "What's up, Cindy? I'm Will and this is Carlton, my geek.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Y'all got any ribs?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "She has to be a human being. I saw you looking in the pet store.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "There. You're Charlie Chaplin. / Who is Charlie Chaplin? / He was a silent movie star. / So take a hint.", "c": ["Hilary", "Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "At least five. I'm going as a runway model.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "My wife's nephew. The first week he moved in with us... there was nonstop drumming in the house.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "You took her to a pawnshop? / Yeah, it was really hard, too. You don't have many pawnshops in Bel-Air. That's really a shame.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I had to go all the way to East LA. / East LA?", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Daddy, it's a diamond. / No, it isn't. / You don't like it? / No, I do not. / Can I have it?", "c": ["Ashley", "Philip", "Ashley", "Philip", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "A girlie that can play the drums can write her own ticket.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I used to stand out in the parking lot of the Philharmonic... hoping to catch a spare note on the night air.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "He liked James Brown? / He even wore his hair like him. / He had hair?", "c": ["Will", "Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Master William, there is a young gentleman downstairs... with a rather large radio who is here to see you. He claims his name is Jazz.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "You got that right. Man, you're loaded!", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I can't remember the name, but I think there's some produce in it. / Banana Republic.", "c": ["Woman", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "You have a beautiful speaking voice. You're probably a dynamite singer. / Well, I'm okay. / You want to record your own song? $8.95.", "c": ["Carlton", "Woman", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Do I look like the kind of man who would quibble about a few dollars? / That's very nice... because most of my customers would be shocked at a pen that costs $300.", "c": ["Carlton", "Saleswoman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Word? Yo, baby, peep this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "It is so important to have friends in retail. I've tried to explain that to my little sister.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Earth, Wind & Fire. When's your next album coming out?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Really? How much do you think we could get for that stereo?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Hey, there, Lord / My name is Ashley Banks / My family and friends / Want to give you some thanks / So before this dinner's / All swallowed and chewed / Thank you, God, for this stupid food", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Only three pencils remain. Proceed to stationery store immediately.", "c": ["Electronic device"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Beat it, see you, scram, sayonara, peace out. And so long, screwy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "While Carlton snaps at every opportunity to take a cheap shot... I'm the kindest, gentlest soul you'll ever want to meet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "You can level with me. Uncle Phil's adopted, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Won it four years running. They had to retire his slop bucket.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "What do you say to an Oreo? / I say, 'What's up, Carlton?'", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I won't be admitted to the bar. / Neither will I. The cops took my fake ID.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Baby, that's man food.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Banks. Carlton Banks.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "And he said ever since he was the Emperor of China.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "And he said ever since he was the Emperor of China.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Tell Michael I'll have to work on his dance steps later. / That's Bo Jackson.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I think that's pronounced diddley, diddley.", "c": ["Heavy D"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "threw a 72-yard touchdown pass to himself... in street clothes.", "c": ["Kadeem Hardison"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "What time should I be there, Carlton?", "c": ["Melinda"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Derbies went out six months ago.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Looks like it's been on the floor.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "'How desperate do you think I am?' 'Not on your life.' And, 'Ha ha ha ha ha... ha.'", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I don't know exactly, but it's fair to guess that 'stunning' was part of it.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I don't know exactly, but it's fair to guess that 'stunning' was part of it.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Only three pencils remain. Proceed to stationery store immediately.", "c": ["Electronic device"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Scary.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Janet Girlie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Well, your super fly's open.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "He has superhuman bill-paying powers... so he gets to dress however he likes.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "I guess I'm a sucker for a sad puppy.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "This girl's a kleptomaniac. / My silverware. / That's my watch. / My date.", "c": ["Eugene", "Various guests", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Maybe I should try some of those insole thingies.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "If you found out the only person in the world that would go out with you... was mentally deranged, you'd go to bed early, too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "We were watching Matlock.", "c": ["Trick-or-treaters"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "This monster's called the Bel-Air Beast... and, oh, my goodness, there he is!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 1"}, {"t": "Okay. Tough luck, Carlton. Beat it, see you, scram, sayonara, peace out. And so long, screwy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Not so fast. I don't even know you. / Count your blessings.", "c": ["Melinda", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "I mean while Carlton snaps at every opportunity to take a cheap shot... I'm the kindest, gentlest soul you'll ever want to meet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "You can level with me. Uncle Phil's adopted, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Did you know he won 'The Young Farmers Of America Pig Raising' trophy?", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "No. I didn't know that, but I'd love to have some details about that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Won it four years running. They had to retire his slop bucket.", "c": ["Grandmother"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Slop bucket? I can't wait till he wakes up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Four: Get the stick out of your butt!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "What do you say to an Oreo? / I say, 'What's up, Carlton?'", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "I won't be admitted to the bar. / Neither will I. The cops took my fake ID.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Come on, man, don't give me that my-dog-is-dead face.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Baby, that's man food.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Banks. Carlton Banks.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Carlton, what the hell was that? That never happened. / It could have. Besides, when we made this bet... there was nothing in the rules that said no lying.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Tell Michael I'll have to work on his dance steps later.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "That's Bo Jackson.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Watch the handshake, man. There goes baseball season.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "I think that's pronounced diddley, diddley, diddley, diddley, diddley, diddley.", "c": ["Heavy D"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Follow me, your running backness.", "c": ["Heavy D"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm... I mean, look, I understand your instinct... but you shouldn't try to impress a girl with who you know. It's much better that she like you just for yourself.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Man, this dude knows everybody.", "c": ["Kadeem Hardison"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "What time should I be there, Carlton?", "c": ["Melinda"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Looks like it's been on the floor.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Especially in a place this well lit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Ha ha ha ha ha... ha.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "I don't know exactly, but it's fair to guess that 'stunning' was part of it.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Only three pencils remain. Proceed to stationery store immediately.", "c": ["Philip's stapler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Scary.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Janet Girlie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "I wanted to come as a ballerina... but I guess a short guy with a mustache is the next best thing.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Boy, you're living out all your fantasies tonight, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Well, your super fly's open.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "I'm going as Comfortable Man. / Is that a comic-book hero? / Sort of. He has superhuman bill-paying powers... so he gets to dress however he likes.", "c": ["Philip", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Sort of. He has superhuman bill-paying powers... so he gets to dress however he likes.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Did she hit her head and her eyesight come back?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Give a guy your last peanut-butter croissant... he forgets you in a minute.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Baby, that hairnet was doing nothing for you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Baby, that hairnet was doing nothing for you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "I guess I'm a sucker for a sad puppy.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "This girl's a kleptomaniac. / My silverware. / That's my watch. / My date.", "c": ["Eugene", "Various guests", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "Her slipper. / Could it be?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "I've been touched by magic. / Oh, my God. I can't believe I dropped my shoe. Maybe I should try some of those insole thingies. Listen, here's my number.", "c": ["Will", "Cindy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "If you found out the only person in the world that would go out with you... was mentally deranged, you'd go to bed early, too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "We were watching Matlock.", "c": ["Trick-or-treater"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "But he doesn't use an axe or a chain saw... he talks his victims to death.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "This monster's called the Bel-Air Beast... and, oh, my goodness, there he is!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Someday Your Prince Will Be In Effect 2"}, {"t": "And they say the man can't party.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Carlton, put away that tired old kazoo, please.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Geoffrey's reaction to the rap - 'He just lit up'", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "How'd you like to go into the kitchen and introduce Mr. Tea Bag and Mr. Teapot to Mr. Boiling Water?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Hilary, how'd you like to make the tea before I take away Mr. Allowance?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Mother, please. Don't talk down to me.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Little Richard?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "No, he's not depressed. He's British.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Your poor Aunt Vivian seems to think she's a matchmaker. In her mind, she's the Chuck Woolery of Bel-Air.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "When I was in college, I introduced three couples and they all got married. And by your fifth reunion, they were all divorced. I just get them to the altar. After that, they're on their own.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "People, people, please. I don't want to hear your dirty laundry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "The mall.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I can see myself. I can't.", "c": ["Carlton", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Hilary, you can't ask him to wrap his own present. I guess that's another one of those unwritten rules.", "c": ["Carlton", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "What did you expect? You went to the mall with girl-away there.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Sure, maybe during a blackout.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I'd love to get a hold of you during a blackout.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Daddy.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "In 55 seconds. Just tell us when to zap it.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "The words 'mission impossible' come to mind.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "A lonely woman, new to our country... she probably won't even notice what a Melvin Geoffrey is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "So far, I count you plus three guys.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I'm not making too big an assumption here, am I?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Surely you gleaned that much from watching Mr. Belvedere.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I mean, it's your patriotic duty to show your countrywoman a good time.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I wouldn't want to disappoint King Elizabeth.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Don't be such a wanker.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "You got a kind of a Ben Vereen thing going here, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Pure, unadulterated funk.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "During the '70s, I was briefly employed as Led Zeppelin's road butler.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I would be most happy to, but to the best of my knowledge... hell has not yet frozen over.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I won't answer that without a lawyer and a dictionary.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Okay, then I'll keep the sweater.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Get ready to have your candles blown out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Ditto.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "What are you trying to pull here, Tony the Tiger?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "She'll be dancing with him, but she'll be thinking of me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Ashley, this must be that houseboy you were telling me about. That's homeboy. Sorry.", "c": ["Helen", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "It has been a while.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "You both speak English.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "You both speak English.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "You're not the first to have made that comparison.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, this is fascinating. It's like going out with James Bond.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Look. That's Tom Cruise's pool cleaner. And that's Cher's electrolysist. And that's Heather Locklear.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "What's with the Band-Aid? Was your brain leaking?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I love a flirt.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "There's Demi Moore's cable man.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "All the babes I mess with in Bel-Air been whacked, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I don't know what you guys do in Philly... but in LA, we don't give stuff like that away.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I don't know what you guys do in Philly, but in LA, we men have to take that risk.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I don't know what you guys do in LA, but in Philly, you crack on somebody's honey, you get yourself killed.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Like an angel in flight. Yeah, he is better than I thought he'd be.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "They're doing the lambada.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "That's the forbidden dance.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Geoffrey does the lambada? That's the forbidden dance.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Back flips?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I guess what I want to say is it's all Jazz's fault, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I shouldn't have busted your groove at the club.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "For example, if I were to judge you by your costume... I should guess you were some kind of circus performer.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "That's pretty cold, G.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I am, as the saying goes... a fairly fly individual.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "She's certainly a hot little number.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I am afraid I was a little too intimidating for the poor girl.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "I could be slower. I'm sure I could be less sophisticated.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Kiss My Butler"}, {"t": "Being a lawyer stinks, Geoffrey. No matter how good a job you do... your clients still compare you to Harry Hamlin.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Yes. The resemblance is quite striking.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Come on, baby. Get on the soul train.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "That was Papa's Got a Brand New Bag... recorded 25 long years ago by James Brown... the Granddaddy of Soul. We'll be right back after this message from Geritol.", "c": ["DJ"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Will, don't play inside. You might break something. Or something might break you.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. You don't have a hoop outside. And Jazz is getting tired of standing on the second-floor balcony... holding a pool skimmer.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Come on, Prince, man. I know a playground in my neighborhood. 'Course we can only play half-court. They use the other end to sell stolen appliances.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Carlton's on the basketball team? How do they do? They try hard, but to tell you the truth, they haven't won a game so far.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Aunt Viv, don't you think if we went down to watch them practice... Carlton would be a little embarrassed? - Let's go. - Let's go.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Man, these guys need help. Help? They need a telethon.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "He threw that ball to me. I'm on the other team. I'm supposed to try and get it. - You don't have to be rude about it. - You two, make up right now.", "c": ["Carlton", "Opponent", "Coach"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Frankly, I think there's been way too much emphasis over the years... on putting the ball actually through the hoop.", "c": ["Coach Smiley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Coach. What do you think the team's prospects are this year? For what? For winning.", "c": ["Alumnus", "Coach Smiley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Mr. Thorvald, straight up, about that fire alarm: I don't know who pulled it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Jazz, man. Of course, Mr. Jazzman.", "c": ["Jazz", "Headmaster"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Man, I ain't even in this school. I'm willing to look past that if you are.", "c": ["Jazz", "Headmaster"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "All right. I'll give you my car.", "c": ["Coach Smiley"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Your team doesn't need a playbook. They need a prayer book.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Carlton, you got it wrong already. It's more like this. This is me. And this is you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "This is my brain... and this is your brain. This is my handsome face. And this is your ugly little Frankenstein face.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Here, Ashley, finally there's an adult in the room.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "You've met your match, Master William.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "How'd you like it if I went into your room and started throwing chalk around? I'd be devastated.", "c": ["Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "All right. You were a football god. Okay. Who knows, it might do him some good. Nothing like a little organized sport to straighten a guy out. Yes. It did wonders for Pete Rose.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "If I didn't show up to support him, what kind of cousin would I be? It'll be three hours well spent. Three hours?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "I'm going to Disneyland!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Don't make an assumption... because you will be an ass... and the ump will shun you.", "c": ["Coach Smiley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "But I was late, and I have to run 10 laps. Twenty laps. Now, shut up.", "c": ["Carlton", "Coach Smiley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Okay, Banks, not paying attention? Ten laps. Not paying attention? Look at Will. He's asleep. Mind your own business, Banks. That's 20 laps.", "c": ["Coach Smiley", "Banks"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Not paying attention? Look at Will. He's asleep.", "c": ["Banks"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "How do you do it, Prince? Easy, Isaiah. Air Fresh gym shoes. Just pass it to Will.", "c": ["Isaiah Thomas", "Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "You were great. You didn't make any baskets or anything... but you looked cute in your uniform. I think it's great how you don't get it too sweaty. I guess it's 'cause you don't run too fast. Smart move.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "He did turn around to the guy behind him once and say: 'Shut up. That's my son you're talking about.'", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Besides, if that basket were two feet lower... you'd be just as good as he is.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "True, madam, but I have found that any game can be made interesting... if you put a little money on it. $50 says Bel-Air wins it. Who'd take that bet? You rang, beautiful?", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Vivian", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Jazz, you bet against Will? Yeah. He screws up, I'm loaded.", "c": ["Hilary", "Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "I see a lot of new faces out here tonight... faces I didn't see when we were losing. People who did not support this team in its darkest hour. All I can say is, I don't blame you one bit. Half the time, I didn't want to be there. And quite frankly, I usually ducked out a little early.", "c": ["Coach Smiley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Half the time, I didn't want to be there. And quite frankly, I usually ducked out a little early.", "c": ["Coach Smiley"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Very funny. That'll be 10 laps, chowderhead. What's the right answer? Pass it to Will.", "c": ["Coach Smiley", "Hunt"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Thirty, forty, fifty! There. Thanks, man. Nice doing business with you.", "c": ["Jazz", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Would you care to place a wager? I don't know anything about snooker. Don't worry. I'll tell you everything you need to know.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Excuse me, your name is Spalding? Dad gave it to me for my birthday three years ago. It's my ball. Give it.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Boy, you're lucky that was just a starter's pistol.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "I been here for two months. I been getting yelled at at home... screamed at at school, I been sent to detention, grounded... threatened with expulsion on almost a daily basis. I finally do something I get credit for, and you can't take it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "No, I came up with all that fly stuff myself.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "Did I mention I was elected editor of the yearbook?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Courting Disaster"}, {"t": "And then the village idiot interrupted the prayer... ruining the feast for one and all.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Boy, holiday traffic is starting already. People are in such a lousy mood. I learned five new words on the way home. - Did you know what they meant? - I think so. They were accompanied by very helpful hand gestures.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "We had to convince her to accept it. She never lets us spend a penny on her. Apparently, that's not a genetic trait.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "From the moment they're hatched to the moment they're shrink-wrapped... turkeys are raised to be food, and nothing but food. Hilary, I don't think too many of them had aspirations... to be doctors or lawyers.", "c": ["Hilary", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Vi's that way with everybody. Remember what she said about my beard? You misunderstood. She said it made me look like Bigfoot. Which is ridiculous, because nobody knows what Bigfoot really looks like.", "c": ["Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Look at my boy. You really have changed. Yeah, I'm handsome. No, you haven't changed.", "c": ["Viola", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "He's certainly not taking any food out of your mouth. Starting already. I don't believe it. That's a good one, Mama. I got to use that one. No, you don't make fun of your uncle. That's my job.", "c": ["Viola", "Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "How's everything at the post office? - They made me a supervisor. - That's wonderful. Honey, they make everybody at the post office a supervisor. You practically have to eat the mail not to get promoted.", "c": ["Vivian", "Viola", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "And looking less and less like your daddy every day. Ouch. Run for cover, Dad. Where's he going to hide at?", "c": ["Viola", "Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "You can take those bags yourself. That man is twice your age. Even though he doesn't look it.", "c": ["Viola", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "After you, Master William.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "He's been wonderful, hasn't he, Philip? Let's just say he takes after you, Vi.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip", "Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Vi, I was dusting the albums this morning and guess what I found. Certainly not dust.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "You taught me to dance to this, remember? I didn't teach you to dance like that.", "c": ["Vivian", "Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "What dance is this? It's called the swim, Ashley. It was very popular in the 1940s. The 1960s, and it's not the swim.", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Your daddy knows how to swim. Come on. Swim for her. Come on, Philip. Everybody out of the pool.", "c": ["Viola", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "The person that invented the elastic waistband... should get the Nobel Prize. - You know what I mean... - Don't start.", "c": ["Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Does she still make it? Honey, she passed on. - You're kidding. - Child, she was in her early 100s. You'd have never known by the way she used to swing that baseball bat at me.", "c": ["Will", "Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "And not the worst way to pull my grade up to an 'A.'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "You shouted, Master William? Yes, Geoffrey. Why don't you have a seat and have some of this delicious peach cobbler... while we clear the table.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Your Highness, let us all clear the table. That's a good one. Honey, do I look like I'm telling a joke? Not to me.", "c": ["Will", "Viola", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Some guest. Honestly, I've never seen such a lazy bunch in my life... and I work at the post office.", "c": ["Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "If you want to cut me some flowers, you go get them yourself. Okay, I'll cut you the most beautiful bouquet in the world... but its beauty will pale in comparison to yours. Don't even try that Prince Charming stuff.", "c": ["Viola", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "'Cause it's the size of a football field!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Okay, but I ain't going to cut you no flowers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "And they'd rather take orders from a 17-year-old boy?", "c": ["Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "From what I see, all he's learning is how to be a rich kid.", "c": ["Viola"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "All I know is the kids in this house are getting a free ride... a free ride in a fancy car.", "c": ["Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "She said that our kids are spoiled. News flash.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Really? Does this sound familiar? 'Daddy, I need $300.' You don't have to get personal.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "What do you mean, good luck?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, it's frozen solid. Really, madam? I thought it was just scared.", "c": ["Vivian", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "This is not a drill. It's a fire? My God, I'm going back for my new suede boots. Don't try to stop me. While you're up there, get my lucky drawers!", "c": ["Vivian", "Ashley", "Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "My God, I'm going back for my new suede boots. Don't try to stop me. While you're up there, get my lucky drawers!", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Excuse me? Didn't I just mow Central Park yesterday?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "This is not the time for one of your leftist experiments.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "It has a real New Year's resolution feel to it.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Since when do I have to ask you twice? Every time, Mommy.", "c": ["Vivian", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "I mean, she sees me so little... and I'm growing so fast. Don't even try that Prince Charming stuff.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "And so far, you've been getting a free ride, a free ride in a fancy car.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Do you realize there's a bump forming back there?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Why don't you just put a yoke around my neck and hitch me to a plow?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "I mean, you guys are getting a fancy ride, a fancy ride in a free car.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "We're reading Hamlet. But to make it more relevant to the kids... I'm teaching it to them in a rap version I wrote myself. Oh, Lord.", "c": ["Mr. Fellows", "Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "To be in effect... or not to be in effect? Slamming, man, on the questioning tip.", "c": ["Mr. Fellows"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "It seems that little Mr. Poppin' Fresh doesn't want to come out of his tube. Perhaps this will persuade him.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "All done. Darn it!", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Carlton, this isn't exactly brain surgery. When something is too dry, what do we do? Cream of mushroom soup.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Interesting. I've never had them before with this thick black crust. It's Cajun style.", "c": ["Mr. Fellows", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "They're just burned on top. Once you get underneath it... they're totally charred.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Yeah, you'd never know Ashley dropped it on the floor.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Will is gonna get an 'A' in my English class. Congratulations, baby. Do you have any news for my parents? Not really.", "c": ["Mr. Fellows", "Viola", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "No! You can have all of that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "It's frozen inside. I'm sorry. I thawed it as much I could. What am I supposed to do, sit on it all day?", "c": ["Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "I know, 'cause Bigfoot is growling.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "That's not true. Mr. Fellows is out there drinking his second cup of stuffing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "I don't know, I think living in California has made you sensitive.", "c": ["Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "I wouldn't be taking my time in here. Here you go.", "c": ["Viola"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "They think I'm a genius.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "I wish I could've seen you cooking it. Mom, you definitely would've been crying, straight up.", "c": ["Will", "Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Talking Turkey"}, {"t": "Put a Barney Rubble head on, I'd swear it was Flintstones On Ice.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "from looking at the remarkable way your ears protrude from your head.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "BWA: Butler With an Attitude.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "She totally gave up on Twin Peaks.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Man, you're looking chiseled.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Don't worry. Tonight, we're having ribs.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "I'm going to a world peace benefit hosted by Steven Seagal.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Oops, did I say that?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "I'm doing a term paper on owls.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Oops again!", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Oops!", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "I don't know my own strength.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Revenge!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "I saw a lady wearing a sweater so ugly... I was forced to pull over and yell at her.", "c": ["Toni"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Will you cut it out? You always say you've failed... and then you get the test back and you always get a 'D.'", "c": ["Toni"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "You're right. I probably did fine.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "This is a job for Sherlock Homeboy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "1000 hours. Bike not fast enough to keep up with Volvo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Hi, Willie. - Hi, Willie. - No, just 'Will.'", "c": ["Kimmy", "Cindy", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Earth to Kimmy.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "It's even bigger than I thought.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "When President Bush said he would never raise taxes... was he lying or just kidding?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Ain't that the truth, Ruth.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "What was that technical term again? A quark, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "That was a real scream, Will.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "If you were going to do a research paper... you'd probably have to know something they taught on the first day.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "It helps that Toni's roommates have the combined IQ of a raisin.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "You're not in any position to tell me what I can or cannot do, Miss Thing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Carry me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Yes, Your Highness?", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "of course, his pair of lucky drawers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "And from now on, you will pronounce the word 'draws.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Do you want me to floss them, too?", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "We are not amused.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Is this the guy you don't want to be standing next to at a party, or what?", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Come on, baby. You doggin' it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "You have amused us, but His Highness is tired and would like to go to sleep.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Not too tight. I wouldn't want you to suffocate.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "I'm very vindictive, I'm just not imaginative.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Will you clean mine?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Joan Rivers. He's a plastic surgeon.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "I bark like a dog.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "I smack Will upside the head.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Damn it, you're prepared! Let's go!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Will Smith is perfect. Why, thank you. It's so nice to be appreciated.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Will Smith is the king of the universe.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "[Hillary barks like a dog]", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Will Smith is the scum of the earth.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "However, Will Smith is the pinnacle of manliness.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Will Smith is the scum of the earth.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Stop it! I can't take it anymore! I dropped out of school! There!", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "I think it's pretty safe to assume she sang like a canary.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Hope her crazy lies don't drag down anyone else.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "that should pretty much take you into fiscal '91.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "You mean you bought that crap?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "You want me to join the Army?", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "You want me to join the Army?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "We're dealing in hypotheticals here.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "Does that little placebo make either of you feel any better?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "My lucky 'draws'!", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Knowledge Is Power"}, {"t": "If she doesn't scream soon, I'm gonna have to give my frog a drink. Ferdinand gets dehydrated.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "We're going to bed just as soon as we finish this frog-leg soup.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "There wasn't enough frog to make more than two bowls.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Ferdinand? This is a guy frog?", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "That's funny, I thought she said she put snakes in your sleeping bags. Psych!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "That means 'just kidding.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Wait. Hold up. Scream for me one time.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Any of you have pacemakers on?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "It happened to a guy named Will... bert. Wilbert Smith... sonian.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "It was graffiti everywhere, even on the principal.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Bankster! I'd like you to meet my cousin... Willster!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Way to play. I kid you not, Will, women faint at this man's feet. Odor-Eaters work for me.", "c": ["Chad", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Outrageous. This guy's seriously twisted. He gets in a good one now and then.", "c": ["Chad", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "I took the Universal Tour. You know that earthquake ride? Look out! Here comes the subway car!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Excuse my cousin. He just doesn't know.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Y'all don't throw nothing away.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Shaker Heights, Ohio. But when I was doing research... on my main man Langston Hughes, I lived in Harlem. And believe me, those two weeks changed my life.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "I can tell.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Anytime you feel like grooving, come over and get down with my bad self.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Where are all the fly honeys at? - Fly honeys? - Yeah, girls. Will, didn't anybody tell you this is an all-boys school?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Then they tortured him with a half an hour of Broadway show tunes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Enter the Bloat. Five, four, three, two...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "I am Dr... B, period, Langford... Oates.", "c": ["Dr. Oates"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Yo! - Mr. Svenson? - Ja?", "c": ["Will", "Dr. Oates", "Svenson"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Is that like a trick question?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "You mean Section 3, Paragraph 4, which states: 'A tie must be worn with a Windsor knot.' But it doesn't say where.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Weren't you the bad guy in Goldfinger?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Smith, ho!", "c": ["Lieberbaum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Listen, Cornflake.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "'Ho' is definitely not a word that you want to yell. I think the word you're looking for is 'yo.' 'Yo'? Yeah. It'll be easy to remember. It's like 'oy' backwards.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Carlton, here in Boys Town... I don't want to rub anybody any way.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "That's not funny. Nothing you say is funny.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "The people who count were laughing at you, not with you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "What, did you like pass out in history class? I had them rolling. The people who count were laughing at you, not with you.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Then by all means, go. Might I recommend the gourmet deli on Roxbury?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "When I said I could go for it, I mean, like, I want it... like you go for it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "They think it was a freshman who got halfway through and lost his cool. He lost his cool? That's funny. 'Fresh' means cool, right, Will?", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Day damn one, Vivian. Champagne. Cork it.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "All I can say to you, Will, is tsk squared.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "There's such a thing as dog dumb, too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Maybe on my deathbed.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "And not, as Mr. Smith contends... the manufacturer of Ring Dings.", "c": ["Dr. Oates"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "He did it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, my cousin has committed a vicious crime. He could not be guiltier.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Yeah. That's what I would have said.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "No, not the Alligaroos.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Speak on, bro.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Where he grew up, the word 'bad' means 'good.' Doesn't that say it all?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "But those guys, they carved their name in a new desk. They got their picture on the wall. That's totally different. They carved their names so people would remember them as part of the school. That's why I did it.", "c": ["Will", "Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Word up, Cornflake.", "c": ["Lieberbaum"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "I'm taking my dad's checkbook with me.", "c": ["Lieberbaum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Just stand there doing nothing... saying nothing... arms at your side like a zombie. Breathing just enough to keep the blood circulating. And no more.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Uncle Phil. I wasn't listening. What did you say?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Good night, Will. Lock your door when you go to bed.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Carlton, you Five-Oed me, man. - Excuse me? - You dimed me out. - Pardon? - You tattled on me, all right?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "If I woke up one morning and I had all of your friends... and I was an Alligaroo... and I wore those cute shirts with the little horses on them... I'd jump off the Empire State Building and hope to catch my eyelid on a nail.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "With quips like that, it's no wonder you're the toast of the town.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Picture this if you will... my man Wilbert in a kitchen with a hair net on his head. If that's not a scary thought, I don't know what is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "Will's cold busted.", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Day Damn One"}, {"t": "I get it. His hooves are full. He don't have no hands, I get it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Hey, G, I did not see that coming. This is dope, right, Ash?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "the new children on the block", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Really? What a gyp.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, there is no Milli Vanilli... but there definitely is a Santa Claus.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "How do you spell 'Vanessa Williams'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Really? I think it's very autodidactic.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "I know the meaning of 'undulate.'", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Give you $1 if you shave your head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Imitating Jerry Lewis?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "What the bloody hell kind of song is that?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "A little kid sees his mom tongue-wrestling with Santa Claus?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "You dress up like the Easter Bunny. That makes me sick.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Who's coming down the chimney, Barbra Streisand?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "You've been to my parents' parties?", "c": ["Jonathan"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "should I send the box of pears or the meat thermometer to Steve Guttenberg?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "You don't know nobody.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "You remind me so much of Judd Nelson.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "The correct answer is Heather, formerly the muffin-cart girl.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Let's put it this way, Vivian. You're the only repeat.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Then at the end of the evening, the traditional police sirens.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "President Reagan's Secret Service agents dressed up as Santa and warned everyone to keep their distance.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "there's no winos making snow angels on the front lawn.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "That little disk?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Do they open your presents and wear your sweaters, too?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "I hope they bring their Barbie dolls.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Will, were you vociferating for me?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "I got to get back to you on that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "They're beyond outstanding, they're deeply beyond.", "c": ["Shop Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "I feel it's a very vibrant tree, and I feel it's a very important tree.", "c": ["Shop Worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "because the '90s are going to be all about restraint.", "c": ["Shop Worker"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "with these little arrogant touches of celadon and periwinkle.", "c": ["Shop Worker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "It's been done.", "c": ["Shop Worker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "It's going to be about arrogant little elves and rambunctious reindeer... and little men in red suits. I think it will be deeply, deeply dope.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Ashley wearing Will's backwards cap while surrounded by tacky Christmas decorations", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "So me and Ashley went down to the Pick 'n' Grab.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "The blinking Frosty the Snowman is riling your attack dogs.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Brother, you got a problem with my lights?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Ain't no thing but a chicken wing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "They are threatening to burn Frosty in effigy.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Still, I think it's best we avoid eye contact for the rest of the evening.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "There's only one way to do that. I think we should write a few checks.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "I'm afraid potential buyers aren't too crazy about the Kmart look.", "c": ["Neighbor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Are they very angry with you over something?", "c": ["Neighbor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "This reminds me of the summer my daughter Amanda turned 15... and tried to burn our house down.", "c": ["Neighbor"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "I can tell by the sound of this guy's voice on the phone, I could take him in a minute.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Mr. Evander Holyfield. The undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Will's physical reaction to seeing Evander Holyfield", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "You're the chump I talked to on the telephone. Phone? I ain't talked to you on no phone.", "c": ["Holyfield", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "I'm not speaking to Bruce. I'll tell you about it later.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Frankly, I saw the lights and I thought they were... a little tacky.", "c": ["Holyfield"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "usually this neighborhood is a complete dud.", "c": ["Mark"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Fight the power, Ashley.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "it makes me feel very ebullient.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Yeah, me, too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "Thanks for the pretzels.", "c": ["Ronald Reagan"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "because Nancy won't let me do anything fun to our house.", "c": ["Ronald Reagan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "I was just saying they were absolutely magnificent, Mr. President.", "c": ["Snobbish Neighbor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "You know the one where it's all snowy... and the little jolly Santa is riding on a Norelco shaver?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "with the horses with the furry feet are pulling the sleigh through the snow.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "He's on the shaver!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Deck The Halls"}, {"t": "You might want to change them pants.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Maybe he can pick one out of Uncle Phil's pants.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Carlton, what is it, recess at the clown convention?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "That's right. And by the way, Will, who cut your hair, Ray Charles?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "I've been saving that one for a week. Don't even try to top it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Back in Philly I knew this guy named Leo Brentley. The dude tried to steal my lucky drawers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "You have a pair of lucky drawers? - Well, yeah. - So do I.", "c": ["Jameson", "Will", "Jameson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "This is all very interesting.", "c": ["Jameson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "I ain't down with carrying golf clubs. / It's $50, plus tip. / Fore!", "c": ["Will", "Jameson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "It's because your hat's turned to the side, you can see better.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "That's wack. / 'Wack.' In what sense of the word?", "c": ["Will", "Jameson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "And was your sucking up as successful as you'd hoped?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "But, Carlton, Dad's his lawyer. Isn't that kind of using a connection? / I can't believe it, Vivian.", "c": ["Ashley", "Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "What's his handicap, sir? / Ain't it obvious?", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "I just told my boss, 'Teach me. I'm a blank slate.' / At least you're honest.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "So, when customers come in the door, I ignore them. If they ask me about a piece of art, I look right through them. If they ask for a price, I go like this... [gesture] And walk away.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Hilary, it sounds like they hired you to be a snob. / I guess they saw something in me.", "c": ["Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "No, sir, my name is Carlton.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "It's a sprig of wolfsbane. Hang it over your kitchen door and all will be well. / But Jameson, everything's fine in our kitchen. / That you know of.", "c": ["Jameson", "Vivian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "I would've lost millions, but thanks to my 'Yo, homey' here...", "c": ["Jameson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "So what you're saying is thanks to me, you got lucky twice yesterday. / Three times.", "c": ["Will", "Jameson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "The wife girlie will be smiling for months.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "I don't drink. I like to keep my mind clear. / I think he's cleared it out pretty well.", "c": ["Jameson", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "I was born August 4, 1974. - A Leo?", "c": ["Carlton", "Jameson"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Why is that man running loose on the streets without medication?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Last year... Jameson was taking all of his stock advice from his dog. / That's untrue, Vivian. He only took tax advice from Sparky.", "c": ["Vivian", "Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "He talks to the spirit of a dead dog? / No. He had him stuffed and put in his office.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "The planet he's on ain't even been discovered yet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Exactly. That's Sparky's job.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Federal taxes? This is an outrage. Didn't President Bush say, 'No new taxes'? / But federal taxes aren't new. / They are to me.", "c": ["Hilary", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "And who is this FICA guy?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "That may seem like a lot, Will, but wait till they take out all the taxes.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Size 42, extra fly.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Does he need a butler? Just asking. For a friend.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "I know. I just feel terrible. Am I showing enough cuff?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Philip, why don't you tell Will about Sparky? / I don't think we need to go into that. / Last year... Jameson was taking all of his stock advice from his dog.", "c": ["Vivian", "Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "I thought we had agreed on groveling.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but the aura is wack.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "What did you say, Sparky? He's talking? He hasn't talked in weeks.", "c": ["Jameson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "It's two against one.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Great. That's your lucky number.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Will, you owe me $14 million. / Here's $5.", "c": ["Jameson", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "You're the one that's got Lassie as your vice president.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Stuck in the office buried under paperwork... because Sparky chased a Buick... and you thought that was his way of telling you to take over General Motors.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Philip, you're just the goat I've been looking for.", "c": ["Jameson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil told him he could take his big account... fold it five ways and stick it where Sparky can't find it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "You know, I've always wished I had the nerve... to tell off my employers.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "Capricorn? Philip, your birthday's January 30. You're an Aquarius. / Vivian, for a $20 million account, I'm a Capricorn.", "c": ["Vivian", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "The Lucky Charm"}, {"t": "My guess is you don't have the right stuff.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Sorry about that, Coach, but... I thought I'd run a few laps before class. Help out the old basketball team.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Professor Smiley. And for that little slip of the tongue, 20 laps.", "c": ["Professor Smiley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "I think I aced this one. How about you, Will? I think I did just fine.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "And the little smiley face you use to dot your 'I'... shows that you got way too much time on your hands.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Handsome movie star, who will only be happy... if you spend obscene amounts of money.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "One look at my signature and he deduced that I was valiant... ingenious, and have the strength of 10.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "No, Uncle Phil. You deserve a fresh piece of paper.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Getting you and Mom to sign his 'Hall of Shame' History exam.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Sorry, Will.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "You will? You will? You will?", "c": ["Will", "Vivian", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "This should certainly be fly.", "c": ["Headmaster Armstrong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "The last movie I saw was Dead Poets Society.", "c": ["Headmaster Armstrong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "With the right headmaster... that would have been a completely different story.", "c": ["Headmaster Armstrong"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "I don't know a lick more than what's in this book. So forget it.", "c": ["Professor Smiley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Article 4, Section 9. / Where'd you get ahold of that book?", "c": ["Headmaster Armstrong", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "A month off? Armstrong, I think the kid's got something here.", "c": ["Professor Smiley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "You're looking at her. See you in a month.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "What, are you tripping? How do you figure that? Because the teacher's my mommy.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "What did you call me, Mr. Banks? / What I always call you: 'Mom.' / My name is not 'Mom.' My name is Professor Banks.", "c": ["Aunt Viv", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "That was very well put, Mr. Smith, but you're wrong.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "That covers about 250 years, Mr. Smith. Care to narrow it down a bit?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "That's what I meant.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Will. What an honor.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "This course was a brilliant idea. She's your mom!", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "He used to say, 'Extra work for you... means extra work for me.'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "I'm Carlton Banks. That's right, the Carlton Banks.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Excuse me, miss. Maybe you can help me out here. I've lost the feeling in my lips.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "It's right around the corner from the Pencil School?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Look at you. Honestly, Will... those eyebrows!", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "The tall one really liked me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Because I've always been partial to food and shelter.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "It's like, I mean... Leave me alone! You're hired.", "c": ["Hilary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "You're hired.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "My body needs a certain amount of microwaves.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Last night, I had a dream that I went to the prom with Harriet Tubman.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Umoja. What? Umoja. It's Swahili for 'unity.' Dope, huh?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Shoot me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "After you, Will. / No, you go ahead first. / I insist. / She's your mom. / This class was your idea.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "I hope you don't take this the wrong way... but you made our lives a living nightmare.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "This whole ugly episode... it's not going to affect my grade, will it?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "And you're very beautiful, Mommy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "And you're very beautiful, Mommy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "Aunt Viv, I read The Autobiography of Malcolm X three times.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Ethnic Tip"}, {"t": "For the last time... we are not breaking into Michael Jackson's house.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "The reason you don't like the music is because you can't dance. Really? [Carlton attempts to dance]", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "In your face.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Worked hard, got good grades, made the honor roll, the end.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Did you notice how Carlton's grown? He's almost into adult sizes.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Are you insane? It's a little late to be asking.", "c": ["Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Us country folks don't run to the doctor at every sneeze, sniffle, or broken bone. We are not the spendthrifts you are, Zeke.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Zeke. That one always kills me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Did you bring the picture of him and the goat? Never leave home without it.", "c": ["Will", "Granny"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Just think, for the talent portion, you could twirl a checkbook.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "They have a display on 100-year-old quilts. I got one of them in the back of my truck.", "c": ["Carlton", "Granny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Did I just win the Kentucky Derby?", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Why don't you just light me on fire?", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "I'm already hotter than a dog in a wool wagon.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "While the gitting's good, madam.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Now that's your first mistake. He tells me all kinds of stuff to do... and I never listen to him. And I'm a better person for it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "I don't know if she'd go out with anybody in local drawers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "That one's me, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Word to Granny. That one's me, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Maybe if you changed it to cats or something.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "I didn't know Leonard Nimoy even sang.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "I'm picking apples from a cherry tree. What does it look like I'm doing?", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Sorry, sir, but she threatened me with a whupping.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "The candles are starting to melt.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "I am more settled than a big old box of raisin bran.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Yo, DJ Granny.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Yo, DJ Granny.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Bulls and cows need to get together before it starts snowing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Who doesn't like Charlie Daniels?", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Honey, I ain't got that kind of time.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Granny, will you marry me? Sweet talker!", "c": ["Will", "Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Please don't make me go.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "That boy is about as much fun as day-old oatmeal.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "who has snuck out to more barn dances... hayrides, and midnight skinny-dips than a chicken has pecks.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "who has snuck out to more barn dances... hayrides, and midnight skinny-dips than a chicken has pecks.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Good work 0070.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Here's $10.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "My brother... for the last time, she is not Queen Latifah.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Word. Thank God he just had a mouthful of Gummy Bears.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Granny, that marriage proposal still stands.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "With this tape, who knows how many times he could sneak out... for a whole night completely unnoticed.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "I still ain't sure how you managed to get it for $1.25 and a picture of Grandpa.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "bad choice, Joyce.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Ever too busy for a fan.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Call it what you like, but take it from me, Heavy D doesn't want to hear you rap.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Call it what you like, but take it from me, Heavy D doesn't want to hear you rap.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Nope.", "c": ["Concert Attendee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Boo!", "c": ["Concert Crowd"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, you had the shortest rap career in history.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "What people don't pay for in Beverly Hills.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "That's the same look you give me at the county fair... when I wouldn't let you climb up the greasy pole.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "Then, Zeke... let me live.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "The Young And The Restless"}, {"t": "In that case, I want to marry you and have your child. / I'm down with that, too.", "c": ["Hilary", "Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I got a great view of her running out.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "How many times you helped me out? / Seven.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Good looks run in my family.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "your sister should be like a sister to me, not a girlfriend... I'm willing to take that risk.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "This budget thing is pretty easy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Much worse.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "$10 says I ain't home. / It doesn't quite say it loudly enough. / Do I hear $15?", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Nice to meet you, Dad.", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "You don't have a goatee.", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Hey, meet me again.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "May I get you anything, Master William? A dribble bib?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "We certainly know who got the brains in your family. / Yeah, but Janet ain't stupid.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Jazz tells me you're a professional wrestler. / I'm afraid he was mistaken. I'm a lawyer. / My apologies. I was misquoted.", "c": ["Janet", "Uncle Phil", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Well, these aren't used.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "When I come back, I want you gone. / Guess I got plenty of time then.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "You know, it's probably not too late to get that spinach out of your teeth.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Brother, do the words 'boing-yoing-yoing' mean anything to you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I'm willing to take that risk. / In that case, how much are you willing to give?", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Makes me question the whole theory of genetics.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "You'd be a great dad. / You, too, baby.", "c": ["Janet", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "And I never will be again.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Oh, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "You're right. We are going to be great together.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "We certainly are. / Not. / Then I'll come back.", "c": ["Will", "Gia"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "put those googly eyes back in your head", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "No. He'll have the same thing I'm having.", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Six kids? / That's right, baby. Three girls, three boys. And don't even think about naming one of them William.", "c": ["Will", "Janet"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Did you think you could sample the milk without putting a down payment on the cow?", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I ordered lemonade.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "And look at me when I'm talking to you!", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I'm glad you found a time that was convenient for you to call.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Yeah, that'll be happening, Mr. God's Gift to the Fifth Grade.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Yeah. We got any more of those pecan rolls?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, if we had a bunny, dude would be on the stove right now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Like that.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I had to pawn her off on some sucker.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Between you and the Humpty Dance, I'll get a metal plate put in my butt.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "it wasn't pretty. / Dude, he's walking and all, but still.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I say, marry her. - You can stop that.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I ain't living like that. What guy deserves a woman like your sister?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "They're not half bad.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "That used to be my favorite song.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Carlton, never bring a sandwich to a buffet.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I have a sister named Jane, but we call her Amy.", "c": ["Toni"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "And a little further down on the evolutionary chart, Jazz.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Do I look like I care?", "c": ["Toni"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Break out the Midol.", "c": ["Toni"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Maybe later. We have to see if anyone better is here first.", "c": ["Toni"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I don't know. You tell us, Carlton.", "c": ["Toni"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Does he know Janet Jackson?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Someone has her rude hat on tonight.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "You need more ice, please.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Janet, your behavior this evening has been completely unacceptable... Do I make myself clear?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "You know, I'm going to miss him.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I just say no in a strong, masculine voice. And when I say no, she jumps.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "What did you say? / I don't know. How long have you been there?", "c": ["Aunt Viv", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Philip, you better sleep with one eye open.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I got her just where I want her.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Every woman wants a man to take control... Rib tips?", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I'll hand-deliver them.", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I really should write a book.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "The only thing clear about you is the space between your ears.", "c": ["Janet"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "You got the theory right. You just ain't got the technique.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "Come here.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 19, "et": "It Had To Be You"}, {"t": "I used to be intimidated by the British. I thought they were superior in taste, style, and breeding. Then I saw Benny Hill.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Master Carlton. First of all, I like Benny Hill.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, mon! Do the limbo with me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "This is precisely what cannot happen when Lord Fowler arrives.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "I'll be at the peak of Schweppervescence.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Just around the corner. - Where around the corner? Nevada.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, mon! You are generous, fair-minded, and very sexy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "A mysterious dent, a broken taillight... a mural of Nia Peeples painted on the side.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "I swear to you guys that was on the car when I got in it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "It was a bit choppy and quite long. And of course, the food was horrid and the movie was a dreadful bore. I wouldn't want to make that journey too often.", "c": ["Lord Fowler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Philip, why are you talking like that? That ridiculous British accent. Whenever you're around an English person, you slip right into it.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "The first three months Geoffrey was here, I could barely understand you.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "I have no idea what you're talking about. Sir, madam, care to join us for tea? Right-o.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Spending all your time shopping, going to lunch with your friends... and just sitting around being waited on hand and foot. I wonder what that would be like.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "One can only imagine.", "c": ["Lady Penelope"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Actually, I go to a small convent school and the nuns work us very hard. We scrub the floors, cook the meals and on the weekends, we do all the laundry.", "c": ["Lady Penelope"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "What a gyp.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "We've made some fascinating strides in maritime legislation. I'll go into greater details at dinner.", "c": ["Lord Fowler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Is tonight a school night? No. I already thought of that.", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Opera? I thought she said 'Oprah.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Spider-Man comics. Watchman. Goobers, Raisinets.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Did you see what I did with my spitball straw?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Mr. Belvesneer.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "How hard can it be? I'll take her to the opera, cop a few 'Z's'... bring her back home.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "if 895 members of the royal family instantly died... she would be the next queen of England.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Now, where does that put me?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Does this restaurant have a bar? If it doesn't, we'll build one.", "c": ["Vivian", "Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "I don't feel so good. Don't even try it, Ashley. We're all in this together.", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "I thought the old buzzard would never leave.", "c": ["Lady Penelope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Sod off, mother superior.", "c": ["Lady Penelope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Don't nobody call me a mother nothing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Who are you, Dr. Jekyll and Patty Duke?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Don't be such a wanker.", "c": ["Lady Penelope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "The Meat Hook? That's the roughest bar in L.A. Super. That's what Lady Cicely told me.", "c": ["Will", "Lady Penelope"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "See, I'm a plainclothes nun. Yeah, that's right. They call me Sister Sledge.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Man, this babysitting thing is easy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Lady, come back with my car!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Yo, man. Should I get the bouncer? I am the bouncer.", "c": ["Will", "Bouncer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "I think I saw that guy on Unsolved Mysteries.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Loosen up, homes. Come on. Get up and dance. Shake your moneymaker.", "c": ["Lady Penelope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "You can't touch this!", "c": ["Lady Penelope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "You're dancing with my woman. No. You got it all wrong. I'm not dancing with her. I'm trying to get her to go home with me. I'll bet you are.", "c": ["Otis", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "which, in maritime law circles... has come to be known as 'The Year of the Trout.'", "c": ["Lord Fowler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "I saw that sweater first!", "c": ["Background character"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Wasn't there quite a row in the House of Lords in 1912... when they repealed the Tuna Laws?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "A lobotomy.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "G, the Lady is a tramp.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "I swear on a stack of TV Guides.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "I'm not going to get to see Ziggy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "To the Batmobile.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "My cousin Roddy has just been suddenly struck with malaria. I must go to quarantine immediately.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "He could be hiding her in his fist.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "What have you done with Lady Penelope, you knuckle-dragging swine?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Don't press him, G. You saw what he did to Tokyo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "In my youth, I was quite a Greco-Roman wrestler.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "You're ugly. And you, sir, are fat. Or was it the other way round?", "c": ["Lord Fowler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Mommy. God bless you, sweetheart. What's the matter, baby? I can't sleep.", "c": ["Ashley", "Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "You're not going anywhere, woman. Sorry, Mommy. I tried. Try again in 10 minutes.", "c": ["Phil", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "God. If you don't know, I have no idea.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "You're young. You have your whole life ahead of you. It's best I bear the brunt of the punishment.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "You got a point there. Good luck.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Damn malaria.", "c": ["Lord Fowler"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, it's not more gambling debts, is it? I thought we had that productive chat.", "c": ["Lord Fowler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "But around the third act, Will was starting to fade... so I told the poor dear to go on home.", "c": ["Penelope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "That's the mark of a great storyteller. Always leave them wanting more.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Next time I'm in town, we'll have to go to the ballet.", "c": ["Lord Fowler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Since that explanation that Lady Penelope rattled off... was obviously a complete crock, what really did happen tonight?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "Since that explanation that Lady Penelope rattled off... was obviously a complete crock, what really did happen tonight?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "You should sit down. It's going to be a long story, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "No. Never mind. Enjoy the concert.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 20, "et": "Nice Lady"}, {"t": "I know how desperate I can get. How about you, Carlton?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Sky's the limit. I better go lock up my Barbies.", "c": ["Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Last Friday, the school nurse started looking good to me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Yeah, something about how them fat ankles roll over them squeaky white shoes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Red flag.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "When she says, 'lovely girl' that means 'get out the Milk Bones.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Nice personality means she's protected by Greenpeace.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "There you have it. We wouldn't have nothing to talk about. I'm not that good at math and I don't speak no French.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?", "c": ["Kayla"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Where abouts are you from? - Harlem.", "c": ["Carlton", "Kayla"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Is it nice?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "But we have more in common. We're both attractive human beings of normal height.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Geoffrey? He's down with my posse. He cuts a nice fade, so I keep him around. Don't that make you large.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "The word is 'diss.' I don't care whether it's diss, dat, or the other thing.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Where we come from age don't make no difference. 17, 21, 33, they're all in the same grade.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "You know, that's surprising, because sequels tend to be a little disappointing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Which is based on the intellectual superiority of servants over those they serve.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Mother, are you kidding? Mel Gibson in tights?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "The Intelligent Hoodlum. I just got his tape. It's upstairs. Dude be dropping science.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "In our building in West Philly, we had a wild shrew once. Just crawling out from under the kitchen sink. Yo, dude was, like, this big. Stole a Smithfield ham from my Uncle Leroy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "I did not come to discuss Rocky, rap, and rodents.", "c": ["Kayla"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Worked like a charm, Will.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "I was always losing my car keys so I went down to the key store and had 30 copies made. That way when I lose a key, I always have another one. And next month, I do the same thing.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "You mean, there are copies of our house key all over Los Angeles? Don't worry, Daddy. I put our name and address on all of them.", "c": ["Philip", "Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "You know what my beef with Kayla is? I thought you didn't want to talk about Kayla?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Maybe we should just drive around town and look for Hilary's keys.", "c": ["Kayla"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "But you're the one fronting like you all that when in actuality, you're about that much of that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "You so stuck-up your fingers got to make an appointment to scratch your damn head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Your mama's so fat, they showed her a picture of her feet and she couldn't identify them.", "c": ["Kayla"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Your mama's so dumb she went to the movies. It said, 'Under 17 not admitted' so she went and got 16 of her friends.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "You're so ugly, she tied a pork chop around your neck just so the dog would play with you.", "c": ["Kayla"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "You so ugly your mama had to feed you with a slingshot.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "You so ugly, that ain't a fade on your head, that's your hair running away from your face.", "c": ["Kayla"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Damn, baby. You so fine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "I would kiss you but I just had a chilidog.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's what my neighbor's gardener said.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "But I once got up to the third level of Super Mario Bros and, yo, it was hectic up there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "When you start using them million dollar words makes my liver quiver.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "You're the only boy I've ever been with that really appreciates my being sesquipedalian. Meow, baby.", "c": ["Kayla", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Yeah, Sigma Fly.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "I thought we'd light a fire, put on a Tom Jones album and after a cognac or two test the waters of adventure. Did you know, my dear, I'm an excellent photographer? I hope you're not camera-shy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "So the draperies will be ready Thursday? Goodbye.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "This is just like Cher and that bagel boy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "That's really pitiful, isn't it?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "I'm sort of like a big old bag of Lay's potato chips. It's like, once you get a taste, you just can't stop.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "You're certainly like a big old bag of something.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "I've been here all these months chasing chicken-headed girls around", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "This might be the difference between Dr. Kayla Samuels who runs the hospital or just Kayla who cleans it.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "And I thought Carlton's come-on lines were funky.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "The answer is 'C.' I'm not sure what you're studying but I know that with multiple-choice you can't go wrong with 'C.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Wonder how come she never cleaned my room.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "If there's anything I can do or not do, I will do or not do.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "Out!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 21, "et": "Love At First Fight"}, {"t": "He's not allowed to use the car again until August of 1992.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "What is it this time, Hilary? I've started recycling.", "c": ["Vivian", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "After all, in a couple of years, I'm going to have my own family and my own butler.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "I hope it's no one I know.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "That's why. How y'all doing? I just got my hair cut. Kind of fly, huh?", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "But, I guess y'all got kind of a reverse thing going on here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Finally. I always thought you could do better. Good luck.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Don't leave me here with him! He's going to eat me. Don't leave me here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "And I just took a multivitamin.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "I think you're the most talented member on the swimnastics team.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "I can hold my breath for long periods of time.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Good. We're going under.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Hello. Rice Krispie Treats?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "remember, you don't have to pet to be popular.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Let's go to the mall.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "That's right, Will. No one can hear you scream.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "That's not true. I have my wine collection.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "He said he ain't want you to go to the pool hall. It's a difference.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "What are you, ignorant? Pick up the damn keys.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "And next time you come in here, I'm going to use this.", "c": ["Pool Hall Owner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.91, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Fred, get up! I can't get no sleep around here today to save my life.", "c": ["Pool Hall Owner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "No spitting, no fighting, and use coasters.", "c": ["Pool Hall Owner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "What the hey. Maybe just $5 a ball.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Ain't no thing but a chicken wing. My game is all that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "He also said that if it weren't for the fact that he had won so much from that fool over there, he'd take your money, too.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Hustled is such an ugly word. I prefer to think of it as creative money management.", "c": ["Hustler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "And if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "And no running in the house. You'll put your eye out.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "You blew $300 and you don't even have a sweater to show for it.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "That's what I always do.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "So you can fix me a Rob Roy with a Sidecar.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Man, it is hard to find good help these days.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "I see you've met my Earth Science teacher.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "They got guys in there that make you look like Webster.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "In the early '80s, I was sparring butler for Mr. Chuck Norris.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "That's where we got you fooled. We ain't got no license.", "c": ["Pool Hall Woman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "The only legal phrase these people know is, 'Will the defendant please rise.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "I've seen it on TV.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, get me one of those stick thingies.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "At least he's got the terminology down.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Don't be ridiculous, Geoffrey. It's simple geometry.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "That was just a practice shot.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "No, I think I'm getting a lot better, don't you?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Much better. That's not how I see it. You still stink.", "c": ["Will", "Hustler"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Geoffrey? Break out Lucille.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "And 10% for his manager.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "after you done had me up in your house.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "I handled it, I prevailed, and now I think I'm ready to have children of my own.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Hilary was a tyrant all weekend. She was terrible.", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Next time you go out of town, I beg of you, please just put food and water in a dish.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Do you think she'll put two and two together when the cops dig my body up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "What, you're going to spank me? You know the severity of what you did tonight.", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "You know, a hard head makes for a soft behind.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "Your money? I'll play you for it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 22, "et": "Banks Shot"}, {"t": "No. See, when I laugh at you, it's more like this... [followed by exaggerated demonstration laugh]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Man, y'all butchered that song. Hey, C, I'm telling you, if the Commodores heard you singing... they'd tie you down to the tracks and run you over with the soul train.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "All right, but just out of curiosity, Carlton, what color are you?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "No. It's that tie that does it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "And if you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "I don't know. That's my whole reason for living.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Damn! Why didn't we bet money?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Excellent, Miss Hilary. You must let me know what that feels like.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "It even gave me the willies when Beaver used to do it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Man, it's about to be Diss-fest '91 around here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "I found it in the trash can, underneath a banana.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "I'm going straight to hell.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Crib: House, dwelling, domicile.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Hip-hop flash cards? I made them myself. I've been cramming all night.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "I just hope I can get it out of my head before I take the SATs.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "That's called leaving me hanging... because my hand is literally left hanging in the air.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Let me have my butler get them. Sorry. I crack myself up.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "You can put them on the floor, but watch out for my carpet... 'cause it's imported from Persia. I could do this all day.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Applegate? That sounds like a school word. I don't like school words. I can't applegate myself to them.", "c": ["Tiny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Everybody, put your hands in the air! [followed by awkward silence and confused reactions]", "c": ["Off-screen voice"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "20 cents. That's not a real Gucci bag, is it? Maybe it is. Maybe it ain't.", "c": ["Street vendor", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Maybe if you went out and bought a well-tailored suit... and lost the earring, then you'd look like a real salesman. And that grammar...", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "I spent half the ride trying to convince him not to say, 'Dyn-o-mite.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "The Detroit Lions still got those cheerleaders?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Carlton, you look like a pirate. Yo, stop fronting. You know this gear is chill.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Hey, Prince, lay off of him, man. We like C-note.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Yo, how many times do I gotta tell you? Write your questions down. I'll hook you up later.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "I'm going to get me some of them douche marks. That's deutsche marks.", "c": ["Street friend", "Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Sorry. There's no hip-hop word for sales bonanza.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "It's not that kind of park, Boo Boo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, did you really enjoy having Will out of the house that much? The closest I'll ever get to a bonus.", "c": ["Vivian", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "I can get $20 for this china dog. $2.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "This is the police! Carlton, come out with your hands up. You'll never take me alive.", "c": ["Philip", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "On reflection, perhaps I should.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "The back row? The light is completely different there. I have to change.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "If a brother comes between a brother and his brothers... then that brother's considered a mother.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "I'll tell you who's a mother: Me. And I am going there and I am bringing my baby back.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Geoffrey fell down the back steps, split his wig. We gotta go to the hospital.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Carlton was acting in what? In Cosby?", "c": ["Jazz's friend"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Prince used a school word. You 5-0'd your own cousin.", "c": ["Jazz's friends"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "No, but I think I heard Uncle Phil upstairs testing his belts out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "What, are you kidding? They're going to kill you guys.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "There's no 'yo' at the end of it. I'm pretty sure of it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Peace out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "Differently.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "You love me. My brother, you wanna take this outside?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 23, "et": "72 Hours"}, {"t": "How are you doodly-do doing?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "I have never been more humiliated in my life.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Yo, that's just them. I'm definitely laughing at you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Right there.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "You know, I really stopped counting at 10.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "A boy!", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Some would beg to differ.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "You're telling me. He likes all the same stuff I like.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "How about, 'Hold the anchovies'?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Yeah. It was Tootie in The Facts of Life.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "How about, 'Hello, Tootie, I'm Fruity'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Two seats.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Will's condescending explanation to Hilary about getting Little T to the party", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Something beginning to gel here?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, if he's not here 15 minutes ago, that's his butt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "We are going to play a new game. It's called Clean Up After Your Spoiled Little Selves.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Yeah, like that'll be happening. Yeah, man, who invited the old guy?", "c": ["Party kids"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "My brother, you want to take this outside?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "I wish I was never born.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Listen, sorry I'm late, but I was just at Goldie's house... and Goldie and Chevy and Mel were there.", "c": ["Lee Cohen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "You made a pretty good thud when you hit the ground.", "c": ["Little T"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Did I really? God, I can't even faint right.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Come to think of it... most of my embarrassing moments involve me hitting the floor.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Yeah, but still, do I look okay?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "You know, sigh like that. You make me feel like Benji.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "No, Mom. Let's do it again. I wasn't happy with what I did.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "The kid is not only aggressive, but inaccurate... and that's a dangerous combination.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Considering you still have the mind of a 13-year-old boy.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "When I was 13, I harbored some pretty impure thoughts about Tootie.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "When they came to me, they were just Duran. I added the second Duran, and bang-o!", "c": ["Lee Cohen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "When he's on tour, he's gotta beat the chicks away with a stick. Wish I had a piece of that action.", "c": ["Lee Cohen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Follow them. - Out.", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "So they changed the title, and bang-o!", "c": ["Lee Cohen"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "That's the same arm I used when I was 13.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil got hungry, so he sent us to pick up a dozen pizzas.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "It's doing a weird kind of bird's nest thing. You might wanna get a hairbrush and fix it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "That's my mom.", "c": ["Little T"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Did you believe my agent? Man, he lies about everything.", "c": ["Little T"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "He told me I could have a career in singing.", "c": ["Little T"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "I knew that. I just brought Carlton down 'cause I had to prove it to him.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Carlton, I looked at my hair and it was fine. If you two don't mind, I'd like to continue with my date alone.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "I'd like a written copy of that report.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "I'm never gonna like anybody you bring home.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "'cause when you're 21, you can appreciate these things more.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "I know you're busy. That's why I made it for then.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "I'd like to hit her in the head with Roget's Thesaurus", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Carlton's terrible rhyme: 'I'd like to hit her in the head with Roget's Thesaurus'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Get a load of me and my rapping cousin", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 24, "et": "Just Infatuation"}, {"t": "Hey, beautiful.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I love a woman with good reflexes. Makes me crazy.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Your mouth is saying 'get out,' but your eyes are saying 'get busy.'", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "That's not going to work this time, Hil, darling. Uncle Phil went to the supermarket, so he'll be gone for at least a week.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "You know the drill.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Geoffrey throws Jazz out (visual gag inferred from context)", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Jazz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I'm supposed to be nice to everyone who likes me? How much time do you think I have?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Want to kiss my boo-boo?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "If you grab me in that place again, we're engaged.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I'm practicing my new scam. Girls love a guy with a sports injury.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I can't see too many honeys being impressed by: 'Babe, I busted myself up playing peewee football.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "What? / I was definitely the closest.", "c": ["Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "They say Gandhi had a very similar childhood dream.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "She won an Oscar. / Nominated.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "And she was in one of the top 10 movies of all time. / Eight years ago.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "She needs a new assistant because she just got back from a well-deserved year off. / Nose job.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "How did you know all of that? / I have an inquiring mind.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Hilary, I loved her in that musical she did. God, what a voice. / Lip-synch.", "c": ["Will", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "All a part of my plan.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "What do you mean you give up? This is fun. No, guess again.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I don't care if you have other appointments, clown. My cat needs acupuncture.", "c": ["Marissa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "So what fool got the part? / Meryl Streep.", "c": ["Marissa", "Agent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Ain't that cozy?", "c": ["Marissa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Shut up.", "c": ["Marissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Isn't he, like, my age? / I see. I get it.", "c": ["Hilary", "Marissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "You're walking a fine line, Helena. A very fine line.", "c": ["Marissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "You know, while you're down there... you may even get to see Dustin Hoffman's drawers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Flowers, a Kit Kat... and a song.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Little Willie Smith. I like that.", "c": ["Marissa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Don't you remember, Jazz... you've got that brain-surgery appointment.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Don't you remember, Jazz... you've got that brain-surgery appointment.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Because if he doesn't want to go out with me tonight, you're fired, Hester.", "c": ["Marissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I forfeit the game.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "So what did you do this afternoon? Massage her feet, give her cat a perm?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Hilary, I wouldn't go out with her if she and Marsha Warfield were the last two women on earth.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I know... but I'm the envy of all my friends.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "And I guess it won't kill you to go out with Jazz.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Does Jazz have a last name? / I believe it's Matazz.", "c": ["Carlton", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I don't see the destruction of our gene pool as something to joke about.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "As of tonight, my new official name is Mr. Lucky.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Look at that. Butter on ice. I'm living large now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Hey, Cher! Sophomore in high school. Beat that, honey.", "c": ["Marissa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "That was a wonderful imitation of a creepy spider you just did, Jazz.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "It's either 'slow dancing with Jazz' time... or 'Will getting up, going home, and leaving you without a job' time.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "It's 'slow dancing with Jazz' time.", "c": ["Marissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Man, this must be my birthday.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Champagne would obviously be the perfect choice, Einstein.", "c": ["Marissa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "You're the idiot. / Well, date's over.", "c": ["Will", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "She's smart, sweet, and the most beautiful woman in the cosmos... and she's been very nice to me tonight.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Six.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Really? / Psych.", "c": ["Hilary", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I got to go. / Peace. / Peace, babe.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I'd only say 'yes' because I felt like I owed you something. That's cool with me.", "c": ["Hilary", "Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "I don't think it's a good time. I'd only say 'yes' because I felt like I owed you something.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "That's cool with me.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "All a part of my plan.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 1, "e": 25, "et": "Working It Out"}, {"t": "Yes, Mom, I'm very happy with the holes that God gave me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "I'd say so. Mom, no, I'm not making any extra work for Geoffrey. He hardly even knows I'm here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Yo, everything is Mop & Glo, Mom. They love me here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Will! Excuse me, Mom, me and Uncle Phil are about to go for a run.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "To heat something up, I have to be Lt. Uhura of the Starship Enterprise.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "but I am not a happy camper.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, I wuv you more! All right, you wuv me more.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Isn't that romantic? He's quoting Elmer Fudd.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Hillary, you promised I could tell. -I know. I lied.", "c": ["Carlton", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Everyone from the A list is gonna be there, which means... none of my friends are gonna be there, which means... they are all going to corrode with envy and hate my guts. I love it!", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "That's ugly.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Like his life isn't sad enough already.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "No, Hilary, I bought a new set of Styrofoam.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Gosh, Mom, who put the rusty nails in your granola?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "It's being cleaned! Is that a problem?", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Not that observant. Kathleen, your blouse is unbuttoned.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm sitting in coach.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Pardon me while I go get a knife.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Actually, that was a puppy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "This is the dinner table, not the back seat of a Chevy.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Don't come around here with no babies.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "You don't have to worry about us coming around here with no babies. I mean, we don't even know no babies.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Now I won't have to slash your tires.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "This dress makes me want to puke. You can't even tell I have a figure. You're 13 years old. You're not allowed to have a figure.", "c": ["Ashley", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "If you value your vision, you won't look directly into the rock.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Oh, I just spent an hour chasing my outfit on the new rotating dress rack.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Well, yeah, I wanted to keep up with the Joneses, honey, not the Jetsons!", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "No problem. We'll just hop on my dress rack and swing by.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Boy, this is a rare treat. I get to cruise Beverly Hills in a Volvo.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "It's sort of like my lucky drawers, except I wear it on my hand.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Man, this door is like straight out of Blacula. It's like the '70s crawled up in here and died. Yeah, J.J. Walker's lips are probably around here somewhere.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "It's not me, Master Carlton, it's the road. It thinks it's an.... Earthquake!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Baby, no, listen, no. The ground moved, okay? The ground. The ground moved. Nobody was bothering it, it just moved, all right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "I'm a grown man sitting under a table hugging a teddy bear. I am not fine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "I'm a grown man sitting under a table hugging a teddy bear. I am not fine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "I may never see Zimbabwe. Never dunk on Michael Jordan. I may never see Rudy get married on The Cosbys.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Try it and you'll be singing soprano.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "But your spot is more comfortable. I know. That's why it's my spot.", "c": ["Will", "Kathleen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "I put them in my little black purse. Oh! You wear contacts! Is that okay?", "c": ["Kathleen", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Then why isn't it growing out your scalp?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Wind, rain, cheese steak, these are things I know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Because every time I come near you, the ground starts moving. I'm just trying to get back to Philly... where the ground stays still and the people move.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "It was either the knob or one of you.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Philip, are you trying to put the moves on me? Yes. Is it working? Yes.", "c": ["Aunt Viv", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "It likes you. Well, honey, I hope it has a warranty.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "What's the magic word? -Now!", "c": ["Will", "Kathleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Okay, look, Kathleen, in the last three hours... you took out your eyeballs, your fingernails... your eyelids, and your hair. Now what else on your body can I get at the mall?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Yeah, your mom sucks breath mints, too!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Yeah, your mom sucks breath mints, too!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, like who? Dumbo's mother?", "c": ["Kathleen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sorry, but I couldn't find any Lee Press-On Ears.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, don't be dissing my bear! Well, don't be dissing my hair.", "c": ["Will", "Kathleen"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Listen to me, I'm starting to sound like my Uncle Phil. Next thing I know, I'm going to wake up bald and hungry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "All it took was an earthquake. You think something hit him on the head?", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Did The Earth Move For You"}, {"t": "Wasn't no traffic. It was Carlton's driving. It was old people in walkers passing us.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Carlton, please, George Burns flipped you the bird.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "He was waving. The man has arthritis.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Hey, look, don't feel bad, Aunt Viv. At least you have two normal daughters.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Like I'm gonna learn how to cook just for her wedding.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Aunt Viv, don't feel bad. At least you have one normal daughter.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Aunt Viv, I'd say it's about time you started feeling bad.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Is Linda Blair down there?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Yo, take 1,000 aspirin, drink 50 gallons of water... and stay in bed until Carlton's voice changes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "tongue.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "The key is a 60-watt light bulb.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Why? Did she die?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Word up. Carlton getting on your nerves, too?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "She won't buy anything from me, Will.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "I will hit you so hard, it will bruise your great-grandfather badly.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "That would be great if you were rumbling Princess Di. But, no...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Hey, sorry, man. Homegirl says she was a Vanilla Ice fan. I kind of lost my head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "You expect me to believe that? Everybody likes Vanilla Ice.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Now I have found that as long as you pay them promptly... they pretty much leave you alone.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "But never forget, Mama Said Knock You Out. LL Cool J.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "And, Ashley, whatever happens tomorrow... know that I believe Carlton is adopted.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "your grandpa's gonna be great in another area code... or something.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "And you must be the spawn of Satan.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Running a little low on cheeks there, bro?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "You know, Paula, even the great Martin Luther King... probably drew the line somewhere. And it was probably somewhere around that region you were just aiming.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "I'm quaking in my tube socks.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "$50? How are you playing me? $50? Come on, $20.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "It's kind of a rough neighborhood. You want to walk me to my car?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Do I need to bring up the culotte incident?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Why don't we just wear Wax Lips?", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Well, I agreed that you should wear white, and I think we all know that's a stretch.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "My neck?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Fine, but if I go down, I am taking both of you with me.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "That little extortionist. She promised she wouldn't cash my check until the weekend.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Like, picture Mike Tyson in a training bra.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "No. I'll be a total outcast. I'll have to eat lunch with the janitor.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Let's get ready to rumble!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "I'm a child psychiatrist.", "c": ["Dr. Hoover"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "No sweat, Lurch.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Still got it.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Still got it.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Apparently, Ashley has been quite ruthless with her.", "c": ["Mrs. Hoover"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "She's probably just self-conscious about that tick. I'd be happy to prescribe something.", "c": ["Dr. Hoover"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Wow. If I'd known, I never would have beat up his sister.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Sure you don't want to get a couple sucker punches in there?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Sure you don't want to get a couple sucker punches in there?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Too many big words?", "c": ["Mrs. Hoover"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Good school. I was thinking of going there if my scholarship... to Princeton, Yale, Wharton, and Talladega Tech had fallen through.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Impressive. You must have been quite an athlete in your thinner days.", "c": ["Dr. Hoover"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Speaking as a doctor... I think your daughter ought to be heavily sedated... and immediately institutionalized.", "c": ["Dr. Hoover"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "I think you must have her confused with your mama.", "c": ["Dr. Hoover"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "I think you must have her confused with your mama.", "c": ["Dr. Hoover"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "That's it, Uncle Phil! You're grounded!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "And to think I was gracious enough to let her invite her hayseed grandmother.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "It's like: My broski! Whatever you want to do... broham, on the left or the right we can do that all night. But all that old yackety-yak, jawbone, you kicking in the middle, man... you can stop that, 'cause I ain't down with that. You see what I'm saying?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Me, neither. That's why it's so sacred.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Everything that feels good is wrong. Everything. Do you understand me?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "The Mother Of All Battles"}, {"t": "Thirty seconds on high, Spock. Energize.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Captain, we're going into a warp drive, we're running low on dilithium crystals.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Do something, Bones. / Jim, I'm a doctor, damn it, not a short-order cook.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Do I look like Wilma Flintstone?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Come on, beat it, man. There's barely enough for me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "This one's Geoffrey's. He filled out the order form.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "No, but if there's a God in heaven I will by Christmas.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "There's still the tux, the limousine... the pre-party party, the post-party party, and, in your case, bail.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I always find that when you ask for large sums, it helps if you take his hand... look deep into his eyes, and tell him you have cramps.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "That only worked for Hilary. When I tried it he sent me to a specialist.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Well, that's only worth $25. Besides, it's really hard on your knees.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "And that suit you got on... man, it's great how it accentuates your massive... weight loss, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I got cramps.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "How much? What's it cost? And will I get sued?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I could close my eyes, and I'd swear I'm talking to Carlton.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Anywhere. When the lava flows, it's every missionary for himself.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Where? I don't see a buffed guy. I only see Carlton.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Oh, God. He's coming over here. I can't look. Hand me a missionary.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "You're athletic, too? I should have known by your bulging forearms.", "c": ["Tina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "They do draw stares.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I'm sure when he called you a sophomoric cretin it was just a figure of speech.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Could you put that on a croissant for me? / Certainly.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Swiss? / No, Gorgonzola.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Yo, man, how you gonna play a brother on the Grey Poupon?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Can you make me a Gorgonzola sandwich on a croissant, heavy on the Grey Poupon? / Certainly.", "c": ["Carlton", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Uncle Phil is right, G. I'm turning into Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Now you see it, now you don't.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Yo, the funky Fresh is back in the flesh with a vengeance, homes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm gonna eat that though. / But I ain't gonna enjoy it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Excuse me, what did you call me? / I called you Will. / No, you didn't. You called me Carlton.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "And they didn't, like, stop the game?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I want to sit in the $2 seats where my feet be sticking to the floor and a big, fat, crusty, bloated dude is sitting behind me belching in my ear.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Do you think they're gonna have that great pasta salad?", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Man, you take bad news better than anybody I ever met.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I wonder if it shows too much cleavage. / About how many corsages you gonna be needing?", "c": ["Cindy", "Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton, those khaki pants make you look so Field and Stream. Take me camping.", "c": ["Tina"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Well, I don't think anyone believed you were Colin Powell.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Studying? That is so cool. Are you going to highlight or underline?", "c": ["Tina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I think those two are a match made in midget heaven.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Yeah, right, and I can't go, either. A dog ate my volcano.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "You couldn't lie to Daddy about his weight, either?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Now, I want you to walk out that door, hop on your bike, and pedal like hell.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I might as well face it. I'm irresistible to women. Now I know what Tom Jones feels like.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Why don't you just do me like Kunta Kinte and chop off my foot?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Only after the El Presidente Platter.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I think the Jeffersons were still trying to move on up.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "You'd believe that boy if he were to tell you he was a big rap star whose album just went platinum.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Welcome to the briny deep, where none of our prices are ever too steep. We've got fresh fish. You can look in our tank. To get to the bathroom, make a left at the plank. Follow me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I think you'll be needing a booster seat, little boy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Sorry, man, we ain't got no more.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Well, sir, we've got all three flavors of Slim-Fast.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I like his eye patch, makes him look kind of dangerous. / You know, table tennis isn't exactly safe.", "c": ["Tina", "Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Tina, I doubt if it's real, and there's a French-fry in it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I'm not a waiter. According to my uncle, I don't even have a job.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton, you were my third love, and I'll never forget you... but I like Will now.", "c": ["Tina"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "He's not the only guy who can dress like an idiot.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "What did you say, pervert? / Oh, I'm sorry. I.... / Look, man, this is Treasure Island, okay? Now, Pleasure Island, that's a block down the street.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Yeah, wait till they make you bob for your lobster.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "That's the biggest load of bull I've heard since I left the farm.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Of course, if I had my choice, I'd pick Ashley but....", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Will Gets A Job"}, {"t": "It's cool, max out, Hil, they won't be home for hours.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "They're here. Nighty-night.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "A butler having to do the baking? I'm sorry, it's just a butler having to cook... is rather like a butler having to clean.", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Yo, what's up, the butler posse?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Yo, C, you looking buffed, man. What, you been pumping iron?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "I do what I can, homes.", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "No, that's all right, I'm driving later, man. Y'all go ahead and get busy without me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "None of that sniffing furniture polish, all right? Just say no.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "At least I don't have to follow him around with a pooper-scooper.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "You mean those foaming bath tablets they gave you last Christmas?", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "They're quite exhilarating if you sit directly on them.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Hey, yo, G. Can I borrow your new TV, man? -Certainly, Master William, it's in my suite. -No, it ain't, G. It's right here.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Buy a vowel, you moron. Buy a vowel!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Yeah, and if I were you I'd get a red nose... and a set of big floppy shoes, and call it a day.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Laugh now, but in 10 years I'll be a successful lawyer... and you'll be asking people if they want extra ketchup.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Yeah, right, and in kindergarten they told me... it didn't make a difference where you put the round peg. Next thing I knew I was in the back of the class with a guy who ate paste.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Boy, do I have a lot of work to do this weekend.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Like I was saying, Carlton, a wise man knows the value of hard work.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "You're gonna get a gold star on your chart right next to 'put away toys'... and 'stay dry through the night.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Madam, sir... I have just taken the liberty of rotating your tires... re-grouting the pool... and drawing up plans for a small gazebo.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "I think he just brought it up.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Irritate: from the Latin, irritare, to excite or stimulate.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Shut up: from the big guy, your father.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Will dancing/stretching before the test", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "See, what it was is we're gonna be sitting down for a lot of hours... so I just thought I'd do something to get my blood flowing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "I want to get there early so I can get my pick of the pencils.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Or you could throw it up in the air and cover that big hole in the ozone.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "I'm sorry? I thought you said $20 per week.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "And with my newfound wealth... I can treat myself to a Happy Meal.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Who's the most handsome guy in the world?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "And who's the biggest weenie on the planet for $400?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Yes! Mom! Dad! I got a 114 on the PSATs. I'm smart. I'm brilliant. I'm the most intelligent person who ever lived.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "A 91 is... a very good reason why you should take this test again, Will.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Hold it, the 91 must be my percentile. But then, that means that.... I'm the most intelligent guy in the world.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "You know, Carlton, you're gonna love driving those big rigs, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "You can have my job, Master Carlton.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Somewhere there's an Asian Will Smith and he's really ticked.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "This a window, this is Windex. Can you say that, little boy?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "And fortunately you're too young to know what he was waving.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "You'd be surprised how fast you can eat a sponge cake when you have to.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "What do you think? It's like 91? Or a measly little 90?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "About what? About $91?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "My... everything is so pink.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "I know what you're implying. You don't think I can cut the mustard, do you?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Maybe I have hit a little slump, but I'm sure even Albert Einstein had a bad day. God knows he never combed his hair.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "But I'm not adverse to sitting up and begging.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Of course, yours have a lot shorter distance to travel.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "That's why they call it a pop quiz, Banks.", "c": ["Coach Smiley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "I'll be subjected to over-crowding, bad food... and daily threats of personal violence. I'm not talking about prison. I'm talking about public school.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Carlton, I think it's time for you to come out of the closet.", "c": ["Coach"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Coach, are you familiar with the sports injury... cerebral-spinal-refrictionation?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "I mean, as you can see, he looks like a complete idiot.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Did I say game? I meant the crisis in the Soviet Union.", "c": ["Coach"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "There I was in the middle of an arbitration between two of my biggest clients... and I get pulled out because Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid here... want to pull a fast one.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Be quiet. Don't even look at me. Look at me when I'm talking to you!", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "I might as well tell you right now... I won't come back for a penny less than $80 more per week. We'll give you $100 a week.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Unless you'd be willing to consider a full-time cook... preferably Jamaican, with an incredible set of... cookware.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Let's get one thing straight here, I wear the cookware in this house.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "I was about to jet to the Riviera with Whitney Houston... but since I'm grounded, I guess I can spare five or six months.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "In fact, I would have gloated better than you did. Ten times better.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "Articulate, eloquent, erudite? No, wordy.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "and when it comes to personal hygiene, God knows, there's no comparison.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "You irritate the hell out of me! Now, get out of my room!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Psat Pstory"}, {"t": "It's WiIIsenio... Smith!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Well, l've grown a little bit since you've seen me, about an inch and a half. Check this out, l got some chest hairs now. Look.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "See? Digger One there. Oh, that must have been sweater lint.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Have you ever felt, you know, not so fresh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Got an A+ on my Spanish test. Man, muchos brainos en eI cabeza, si?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "That means, 'How much is the espadrilles?'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "No, it's one of your friends from PhiIIy, too cheap to buy an airIine ticket.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "No, this is my new exercise bike. I'm gonna use it to deveIop my huge Iegs. You know, I figure I'II need them... to support my massive chest and my 24-inch pythons.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "This equaI-opportunity thing has gone just a IittIe too far. I can't beIieve they're Ietting girIs pIay on my intramuraI basebaII team.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Next thing you know, they'II be Ietting us vote. Don't even get me started on that issue.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Women have their pIace, but men are the cornerstone of civiIization. Not onIy are we good at men-things, but we're good at women-things, too.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Sew a dress. I saw it on The Brady Bunch.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Another pIanet, man. I ain't sewing no dress.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "WeII, what? Are you crazy? We'd do a dress Iike that. And that incIudes a fuII smocking and smart pIeat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "I mean Geoffrey.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "If I was 50 years oId... I'd definiteIy take her out for a bucket of chicken.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "She's been cIapping the Iights on and off for the Iast 20 minutes.", "c": ["Aunt Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "You Iook so fIuorescent.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "I am three pounds Iighter, a whoIe Iot tighter... and I'm dressed to chiII.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Go, Granny.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Last week they served tapioca. Man, the cops had to break that joint up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "I'm sIimming.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Okay, you basset hounds. If you Ieave me to it, I can bake a pie... and stiII get in a bike ride before supper.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's a good Iine, Ed. I'II have to use that one myseIf.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "WeII, maybe not... but you a Iong way from the stewing pot.", "c": ["Ed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Women are Iike CadiIIacs... they don't even begin to rev up untiI they hit 70.", "c": ["Ed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Yo, E. Another dope Iine, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Six years of Oprah, and this is stiII a shock.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "And I use that term IooseIy.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "That's exactIy what it Iooks Iike.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Work it, honey.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Sounds Iike somebody with a bad haircut.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Other than your girIfriend in biker shorts?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Magnificent server.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Thanks? For what? I just got here.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Did I mention I crochet?", "c": ["Mrs. Sweeting"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Excuse me, I just remembered I have some pantyhose soaking upstairs.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "That's what I make, afghans, onIy afghans. Not scarves, not tabIecIoths, not doiIies.", "c": ["Mrs. Sweeting"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "I think I'II go transIate the Dead Sea ScroIIs.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Bitchin'? Is he going surfing? I thought we were gonna have Iunch.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Bungee jumping.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Nice meeting you, Miss Sweet Thing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "My socks are aIready off. Just come out naked.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "So are you and Mick Jagger.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "I'II bring you some sugar cookies.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "It's a IittIe formaI, isn't it?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Never.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "A guy's idea of an icebreaker is sitting next to me in the cafeteria... and beIching my name.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "There's nothing Iike Iove to buiId up a good appetite.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Not at my age, either.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Your face is Ionger than Arsenio HaII's.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "But, you know, when you're out having a good time... the Iast thing you think about is the bed.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Why isn't it?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Jump in with me and bring the kids.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Leave the kids.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "If I promise to jump in with you?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Like what? Nice suit. Pass the saIt. What's your favorite wrench? Anything.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "That wouId be Granny.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "My dad had a spotted coat, then he had it cIeaned.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "My dad Ioved brownies. He once ate a whoIe pan-fuII.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "That expIains a Iot.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "My dad had parents. We caIIed them Grandmom and Grandpop.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "My dad Iiked-- Sweet-potato pie!", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Because he promised he'd never Ieave me. Crazy as it may seem, I beIieved him.", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "And the bike Iooks great, too.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "CarIton Banks is wearing an eIegant, yet mascuIine, cotton-siIk combination... designed by WiII St. Le CarIton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Baby, come to Mama. You want some fries with that shake?", "c": ["Hattie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Yeah, I kind of Iike it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Granny Gets Busy"}, {"t": "Will's mom making him blow on his math homework like he's a little kid", "c": ["Will", "Will's Mom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "And if you value your tip, stop looking at my behind.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Philip: 'I can't believe my baby sister's getting married.' Uncle Phil: 'I can. I just paid the florist.'", "c": ["Philip", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Vivian: 'Philip, all you ever think about is money.' Phil: 'No. That's not true, Vivian. Sometimes I think about other things.' [pause]", "c": ["Vivian", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Viola: 'Would you two knock it off? You're married. It's time you start acting like it.' Phil: 'Viola, this is why I got married.'", "c": ["Viola", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Hilary: 'Like, I read about it, okay?'", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Hillary: 'Lady, don't you know any other words?' Worker: 'No.'", "c": ["Hilary", "Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "This is not a Ninja-Turtle wedding.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Miss Hillary, the day you do everything for yourself... will be the day I square-dance naked on the White-House lawn.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Mom, last time he came here... he pulled off Barbie's arm and burnt down her Dream House.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Is this the Banks' house or Buckingham Palace?", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "You got a boyfriend yet? Now ain't no point in saving nothing these days. You hear what I'm saying?", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "The whole neighborhood hears what you saying.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Helen, I see you still haven't come out of your shell.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Bobby: 'I want to sleep with Carlton.' Will: 'I always dreamt when I heard those words it would be Paula Abdul saying them.'", "c": ["Bobby", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Lester: 'Man, I take all the action I can get.'", "c": ["Lester"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. Speaking of taking care of business, does he?", "c": ["Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Will is 17 years old. He's probably taking care of a little business himself. Aren't you, Will? [Will's shocked reaction] Absolutely not!", "c": ["Viola", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Y'all don't know? Hey, I did teach her how to burp on command.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Hold on, Aunt Janice. Hold up. That was, like, 10 years ago. I'm, like, light-years ahead of you now. [Dancing badly]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Later on this afternoon, you ladies can go skating on it.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "The good, the bad, and the-- Don't even try it.", "c": ["Helen", "Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Yeah, I would crack on your feet, but they don't reach all the way up here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Well, I'm definitely getting married, and I want my wife to be a virgin. Well, you better hurry up, man. Mother Teresa ain't getting no younger.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "She'll be an excellent homemaker and have the breasts the size of Australia.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "I don't know, man. I just can't imagine... waking up to the same woman every day for the rest of my life... no matter how big Australia is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Heck, by then young Carlton will be interviewing for preschool... and Carltonette will be a little croissant in the oven.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Is that your feet, or did you break wind?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.79, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "I'll be all dressed up with absolutely nothing to do. Just think of it as one of your dates.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Forget it. I will not be an accomplice to the murder of Mickey Mouse.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "You know, Bobby, I love it when you come to visit, man. They appreciate me so much more when you leave.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Cute, cute, cute, and cute. A dangerous combination.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Man, what does she do when y'all eat out?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Here's $5. Go find your own.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "My cousin used to date a girl who was...tall. Heck, the boys go to a predominantly...tall school.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, did I say white? I meant tall.", "c": ["Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "She breast-fed me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "She breast-fed me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "I don't care if Frank is black, white, or candy-apple red. I've been on Slim-Fast for the last two weeks to fit into my dress. Now somebody's gonna marry somebody up in here.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Do you remember the last reunion when Uncle Rubin came out of the closet? How could I forget? He came out wearing my purple-leather suit.", "c": ["Helen", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "She's the one that told Uncle Rubin he looked good in purple.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Honey, who'd you think you were bringing him home to? Stevie Wonder?", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Then I guess I better pick up some Barry Manilow for the reception.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "What's upstairs? The electric chair?", "c": ["Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "More like quiet, evil, and colored.", "c": ["Viola"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Well, I guess she'll be on the first broom back to Philly.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "For a second there, I thought you was Wesley Snipes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "For a second there, I thought you was Wesley Snipes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "And when you come visit, you can borrow my Porsche.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "So you need any tips on sex? No, not really. Got any for me?", "c": ["Will", "Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Well, I just thought that I would, you know, drop in on the... on the thing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "If I can just make it to that door.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Since Aunt Janice is of the Negroid persuasion... and Frank is of the Caucasoid persuasion... I've compiled a special medley of songs.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "I think you were deprived of oxygen at birth.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "Why are you all looking at me? Reverend, go on with the ceremony. We are paying you by the hour.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Marry"}, {"t": "\"We beat them, we dissed them, we kicked they butt good. But that was kind of stupid, y'all, we in they neighborhood! Run!\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Now you look just like Yul Brynner in The King and I.\"", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"7:09, if you count my feet.\"", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "ZIP code?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"That spider been getting on my nerves all day, man. Check this out! I dotted the 'I' on Armani!\"", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"You'll have to wear an indecently short skirt... make a spectacle of yourself in front of your whole school... and ride on a bus with a bunch of sweaty teenage boys. Gosh, I hope I get it.\"", "c": ["Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"That was, kind of... dignified, Ash.\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "Ta-da! No, wait. That's for me. Oops! For me again. Here it is.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"What's wrong with you, girl? I gave you two weeks salary and you got a pot holder?\"", "c": ["Hilary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "I don't think short skirts are appropriate for me anymore.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Carlton, that is her mother. What happened to the rest of her chins? Yo, they look good down there.\"", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"The night is young, baby, and so am I.\"", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Yo, we're here to display / A look at a woman who is forty today / She's smart and well-dressed, so just to give thanks / This is your life, Vivian Banks!\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Remember 1951? Remember Chuck Berry? Remember Hula-Hoops? Me neither!\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Eat your heart out, LaToya.\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "outstanding wife and mother, and a tribute to middle age.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"'Cause 40 ain't old... if you're a giant sequoia!\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"After all, life begins at 40. Oops, did I say 'life'? I meant gum disease.\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Really, 40 is just the beginning. The beginning of the end!\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"The second time I had to pretend I was my own twin.\"", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Any professor would be proud to carry this... whether she's wearing a dress or a G-string. 'Course, with that second outfit, attendance would shoot up. Among other things.\"", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Good call, Uncle Phil.\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"You're gonna vacuum in that?\"", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Y'all remember that movie, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Actually, the last thing I was in was the supermarket.\"", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"I'm a pretty cultured brother. Wow, just like that, huh?\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"It was like heaven. Except the angels was doing splits. It was hell on earth.\"", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"And you shouldn't have to. Hand over the keys to your Benz.\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "And you shouIdn't have to. Hand over the keys to your Benz.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"You know, Uncle Phil... most husbands wouldn't want their wives running off half naked to a bunch of bulging, masculine dancers that's gonna be grabbing them and lifting them... in places their husbands forgot existed.\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Well, actually, I've been taking private instruction with Natalia Broshkova. -The dancer? -No, the obstetrician.\"", "c": ["Vivian", "Dancer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"When's the cast party? I wanna sit next to that honey that was doing the splits.\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "When's the cast party? I wanna sit next to that honey that was doing the spIits.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"H\u00e4agen-Dazs Vanilla Swiss Almond.\"", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"I see every great thing a man could possibly want in a woman. Eyes so dark and deep a man could get lost in them. Skin the color of mahogany... soft as satin. A body fit for a goddess.\"", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"I thought it was for those little cheese things Geoffrey makes.\"", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Hey, hey, hey! Say hello to Miss Pompom!\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Your school is whack! Your school is whack! Wherever y'all came from, just take your butts back!\"", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "\"Now, I do know my line. You know, it just slipped my memory for a second. But I know it! Yeah, yeah.... I know what it is! I know what it is!\"", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "The Big Four Oh"}, {"t": "Gee, I hope there ain't nobody down there getting busy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Look, man, y'all are married. Where y'all put your earrings is your business.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "In theory, that probably means that you can't run, either. Right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "that I wore that earring to school today.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Get him, Vivian.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "It is definitely peach season, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I would prefer an assassin's bullet to this kind of living hell.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Yo, I think G's drawers must be bunching again.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I did, but she had to wash her hair.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I know they don't walk in LA, but I at least hoped they talked.", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Can you do that and walk at the same time?", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "with big ears and weird clothes. I mean, not just you, anybody.", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I'll be the one in the seat next to you... shouting my phone number to Magic Johnson.", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I hope Magic ate his Wheaties.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Why does this seem so familiar?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "You're clowning me, right, Uncle Phil?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I haven't heard of nothing that disgusting... since Clarence Thomas found that hair on his cola.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Here you have a movie set in Africa... there's only one brother in the whole thing, and he's from Detroit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Shut your mouth. I'm talking about Shaft. Then we can dig it.", "c": ["Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Yes. I'm about to laugh myself into a seizure.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Just put it on and say, 'Boss, da plane, da plane.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Why don't I just go pitch a tent under a freeway... and eat cold beans with a stick?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I got as far as, 'Yo, yo, baby. Yo, baby, yo.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "and I know she ain't got your baby.", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "How about that big old zit on your nose?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "But I'm worried about her cholesterol level.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Hell, I'm going to the bathroom.", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Of course, that one would be hard to lose.", "c": ["Cornflake"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.07, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I can't figure out how a brother goes from T-bone to rump roast.", "c": ["Ty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "And I ain't afraid to do it, neither.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I'll put some chili in his pocket.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "A pimple?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "A great girl.", "c": ["Dee Dee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Wow, have you sold the movie rights yet?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "No, you got a sort of a Lou Rawls thing going there, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Well, it ain't like we brothers or nothing. Beat it, C.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I wonder if you could hang yourself with a cummerbund.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I can walk! It's a miracle.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Yeah, like jamming a fork in your hand... you know, just to make sure you're still alive.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Cornflake, come on, come with me, man. You push her in. I'll flush.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.11, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Where'd you find him at? Rent-a-sucker?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Strawberry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "My kind of honey.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "If I can button it, and it's clean, I'll pretty much wear anything. / My kind of honey.", "c": ["Dee Dee", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "This clever device is probably... I can't believe we didn't get in on that abdominizer.", "c": ["Will", "Dee Dee"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "I'm trying to hear the musical toilet seat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "Other than that, man, I mean, I like her.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "She Aint Heavy"}, {"t": "He was. He must have had that reoccurring nightmare... where he misses a meal.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I'm watching a television program on farm practices in the Midwest.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Look, Arnold the pig is wearing Eddie Albert's pajamas.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Uncle Phil, I thought I was alone.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Smells like cheap cologne and fried chicken.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I resent that. Oops.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Aunt Viv, can I borrow some money for protection while I'm in the slammer? I am kind of cute, you know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Sorry, baby, the rent just went up.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I thought that only happened on The Cosby Show.", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Ain't his curfew he's worried about you violating.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "You must be Carlton. Your father really speaks highly of all of you at the law firm. No, my man. I'm Will. Who?", "c": ["Eric", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Man, I thought you sucked up. You're just a Dustbuster compared to that dude.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Oh yeah? When I'm his age I'll be twice the suck-up.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "She thinks I look like Blair Underwood without them.", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Obviously, Hilary's the one that needs the glasses.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Close. It's Banks, Philip Banks. When I won the Markus v. State of California case.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Not without your banker.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I'd watch it with you but I don't want to.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "So, Hilary, has Eric shown you his legal briefs?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I don't like that guy. He's a pompous, preppie, suck-up. He reminds me of someone.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, that reminds me, I need a back seat for my date tomorrow night.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Let's play Three Stooges. Hey, Moe!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Don't paper get nothing? Paper gets to ride his bike.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Not unless he's 'down with OPP.' 'Yeah, you know me.'", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "You've heard of the Batmobile, get a load of the Rapmobile.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I have never seen so much trash in one car.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Sorry, I didn't see you. As hard as that is to believe.", "c": ["Jazz", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "His mom used to date them.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "No, but I got this real fly Malcolm X air-freshener.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "The joke's on you, Mr. Banks. You can't throw me out... 'cause I'm already outside.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Okay, well, I'm Eric. How you doing?", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Suddenly, I'm hungry for some fried chicken.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "You already got her on the couch. Save your money.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "What about my rap?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Hilary's an ignorant somebody. She ain't even call me to tell me she quit me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "That's what I'm saying. I'm a man, too. But Uncle Phil's an extremely bigger man.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "A wise butler sees nothing, hears nothing... and takes detailed notes for his book.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Your piece of junk just backed into... the custom fender of a $35,000 automobile, pal.", "c": ["Eric"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I got a whole living room full of soda cans.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Lookit, man, this thing used to say 'cold chilling.' Now it says 'old chili.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "What's the name of your insurance company? Yo' fault.", "c": ["Eric", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I don't have none and I don't need none 'cause it's your fault.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I'll meet you upstairs, pooky-pooh.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Court, huh? There's a ball and a hoop out back, we can go now, sucker.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Now that's extremely creative, Carlton. 'Look behind you, there's Dad.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I sure hope Luther Vandross is in the house.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I buy a car, I don't get insurance, I get in a wreck, and you get sued? That's right, Will. Man, works for me.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "You know what, I don't think it's quite tight enough. Okay. But you can't blame me for my entrepreneurial spirit.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "When I realized I'd have to raise my right hand, I stopped to buy gloves. Could you just die?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I don't have to answer that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I've seen him do a lot of chewing... but I ain't never seen him spit nothing out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Home. Must be nice. My wife took mine in our divorce settlement. I hate her.", "c": ["Judge Wilson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "I know, I just always wanted to say that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "My fault. A little too much CNN.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Honey flipped me the bird at a bus stop this morning. That's the most action I've had in six months.", "c": ["Judge Wilson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, keep hope alive. You are somebody.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Dude's got a gun, next thing you know I got six warning shots in my back.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Can't. They closed my account. They said I was allegedly writing bad checks. I don't know what they talking about. Those checks was perfectly legible.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Because I don't know what they mean.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Oopsy.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Your J-ship, my number's in your file. Get with me sometime. Peace out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Rock breaks your scissors, Carlton. Wait, hold it.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Cased Up"}, {"t": "Please, Will, the last time you showed me a magic trick... it took two months for my hair to grow back.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "What happened to 'abracadabra'? / No, this is black magic, Ash.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Chaka Khan!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "I don't have a dollar. / I have a 20. / That'll do.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Going... going... gone! Will!", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Some nice twelve-grain organic... hot cereal.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Boy, that was better than the batch you made yesterday. / Good. That's why I made twice as much today.", "c": ["Carlton", "Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "You keep dishing it up, Aunt Viv... and we'll keep finding some place to put it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "She picks our clothes out for us... and checks our homework and cuts the crust off the end of our bread.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Hey, look, that woman must be stopped, y'all.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "That diet and exercise regimen your mother put me on... has really changed my life. I never felt better.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "That woman must be stopped.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Is that G or Philip Michael Thomas?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "That woman must be stopped!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "My personal favorite was George Washington and the Hussy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentleman, give it up for the star of Heidi Comes to Harlem.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Mom, if you make me go to school like this... I'm going to write a book when I grow up.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, that was for you. They said you left your wallet at the Donut Depot.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Pretty fly earmuffs you got there, Ash.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "A little calamine lotion probably'd take care of that rash.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Come on, Ash, not many women can carry off plaid. / And here comes one now.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Don't worry about this, Ash. One day you're gonna be cracking up laughing about this with your therapist.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "I wanna play!", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Look at poor Henry Firth. Ever since his wife left him he's been in one meaningless... unsatisfying relationship after another.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "That is so kind of you. Please, no pictures.", "c": ["Sonya Lamor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "You look dope in 3-D! / It wasn't in 3-D. / Back up.", "c": ["Will", "Sonya"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "There is something that I am just dying to know. / Yes, I did it. And he deserved to be slapped.", "c": ["Vivian", "Sonya"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "When Jacoby sued Meyers, who do you think he called?", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "I couldn't eat a thing. Wonderful sugar cake. Can I get a little, tiny, weensy piece, please?", "c": ["Sonya"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Will, check the pool, the Jacuzzi, the tennis courts, and the basketball net.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "But I did find Geoffrey's new uniform crammed behind the hot-water heater.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "We need that little white lady from Murder, She Wrote.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "And if you all happen to be digging around under my bed... those videotapes are for my report on Clarence Thomas.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "So kind of you. No pictures.", "c": ["Sonya"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Laurence Olivier was in An Officer and a Hussy? No it was his brother, Wendall.", "c": ["Will", "Sonya"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "You got top billing over Clark Gable? / It was Schlomo Gable, his half-brother.", "c": ["Carlton", "Sonya"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Then I guess this Reagan isn't really Ronald. / No, that is really Ronald. You see, we couldn't get his brother.", "c": ["Will", "Sonya"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Then I guess this Reagan isn't really Ronald. No, that is really Ronald. You see, we couldn't get his brother.", "c": ["Will", "Sonya"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "What's up, man? I'm Will. Polly want a cracker? / Will is a cracker. / Yeah, man, your mother poops on papers.", "c": ["Will", "Parrot"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "This is not a wimpy fork. This is a hand-engraved silver dessert... Jumping Jehosaphat!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "This is not a wimpy fork. This is a hand-engraved silver dessert.... Jumping Jehosaphat!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Remember what happened to her in Hussy Behind Bars?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "I say we do what's fair and just for both parties. Steal it back and run like hell.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Carlton, weren't you just saying how much... you would enjoy a tour of Ms. Lamor's house? No...time like the present.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Get your hands off that! Not till we're married.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Is the silver in your pockets? / No, I'm just extremely happy to see you.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Is the silver in your pockets? No, I'm just extremely happy to see you.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Carlton, please, we lifted some silverware from a neighbor... and I had to slap you twice to keep you from driving us to Mexico.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "I just thought we should lay low until the heat was off.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "The caterers brought it back.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Carlton, why do I have service for eight in my drawers?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "We'll get caught. We'll go to jail. Kid 'N Play will portray us in a movie.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "No, I meant everyone always mistakes me for Whitney Houston.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Will, there's a big black guy in the house.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Will, there's a big black guy in the house.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "I brought these gloves so we don't leave prints. Yellow or blue?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "If Meryl Streep is going to play it, she must have her nose fixed. Absolutely. Page 3, the schnoz clause.", "c": ["Sonya", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "When we walk down the street, deer eat from our hand.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Sonya, with all due respect... you're the one who's playing footsie-wootsie.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Please, darlings, you are too kind. No pictures.", "c": ["Sonya"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, I know what you're thinking, and there's no cake left.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Will made me do it. He held a fork to my head.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "And I didn't want to hide under the furniture... like a bad old episode of Laverne & Shirley.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Hi Ho Silver"}, {"t": "Does Barry White want seconds?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Like Queen Elizabeth. Dan Quayle. Colonel Sanders.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Wonder you don't sneeze and pop your drawers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I can't count the number of times I've gone swimming right after eating.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Even Shelley Winters turned me down.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Could you please call my daddy? He's a lawyer. He'll know what to do.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I can't say it, because it would be a big fat lie.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Actually, we'll be reminiscing about Benson.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Actually, we'll be reminiscing about Benson.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Get It Your Own Damn Self.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "This is a racial thing, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I'm Bob Doomie.", "c": ["Bob Doomie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "And if you recall, the chariot bed didn't need horses to move it across the room.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Well, there's $50 says it isn't. / Thank you, sir, but his $200 says that it is.", "c": ["Philip", "Hotel Staff"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I'll do my Dance of the Seven Veils. And I didn't bring any.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Okay, kids, go to the movies.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "for a guy that's only been through the tenth grade once.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "No, no, baby, these Canadian rules.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "and don't come back through here until you're 17 or accompanied by an adult.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "All right, either of you ladies speak Latin?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Now get your tail over here, pronto. I want it fast and I want it hot. And if it has any pepperoni on it, I'm sending that puppy back!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I'm like a mother to these children", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Carlton, haul the brats. / I'm expecting company. / Yeah, I'll put it in the oven for you.", "c": ["Hilary", "Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Well, you're closest to the floor.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I told you the 'R' didn't mean 'real fast.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I don't know, that's what Dad always says to me.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "doesn't mean we should act like people without trust funds!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "It's not so much my butt, man, it's Uncle Phil's foot coming towards it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "$5,000? Yo, man, I could purchase a new butt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "And action!", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Yeah, you got that shoe sale, right?", "c": ["Music Video Performer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Look, man, this is my house. You wanna be in a video, you go rob a liquor store.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Did I say 'party machine'? I meant Banks residence. Master William speaking.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Carlton's watching an educational documentary on loud music.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "That's the television. Your aunt's watching I Dream of Jeannie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Y'all ain't got to go home, but you gotta get the hell out of here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "You ain't got to go home but you got to get the hell out of here.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "You ain't got to go home but you got to get the hell out of here.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "The Titanic sank in one day! The Hindenburg blew up in one day! The entire city of Pompeii was covered in molten lava in one day!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Well, I'm glad I don't live here. / Boy, I'm glad I don't live here.", "c": ["Tyrone", "Friend"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Well, I'm glad I don't live here. / Boy, I'm glad I don't live here.", "c": ["Tyrone"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "All you need is a little paint, a little elbow grease... everybody pulling together, I'm telling you the place is gonna look dope. / Oh, you know, I plan to, but not here. See, the fly honeys invited me to the wrap party.", "c": ["Tyrone", "Tyrone"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "My God, Geoffrey needs to clean up around here.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I seem to recall a certain little sunshine trooper trying to get her car theft badge.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I seem to recall a certain little sunshine trooper trying to get her car theft badge.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Because I can't get it out.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Caesar! It's time to invade Alexandria! / Coming, Alexandria!", "c": ["Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "First, take a moment to familiarize yourself with your Buffomatic.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Make sure buffer is off before plugging in. / Do not use near water.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's great. But when does the rest of it get here?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Don't let nobody tell you that big people can't wear plaid.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "What'd you have, a Patti LaBelle nightmare?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Relax, sweetheart. Burt Reynolds does it every morning on his way to work.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I'm the idiot.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "We would have been here sooner, only we were stuck behind some idiot with a flying carpet. / I'm the idiot.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Hey, very good, Carlton. That's the first step: admitting it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "which means you each owe me $20.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Well, y'all ready to read the Bible?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "I'll get our bags packed. Ashley, you drive.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Caesar! It's time to invade Alexandria! / Coming, Alexandria!", "c": ["Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Caesar! It's time to invade Alexandria! / Coming, Alexandria!", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Aunt Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "The Butler Did It"}, {"t": "Hey, I thought you wanted a rematch.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Forget it, man. Go pick on somebody your own size.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Say, I've got a half peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my pocket... with your name on it.", "c": ["Ramon"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Man, those lines kill on the jungle gym.", "c": ["Ramon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "It's killing me how much you remind me of myself. Why? 'Cause we're both down with b-ball? Well, no, 'cause don't nobody want to see my frog neither.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Hey, man, that's kinda similar to my motto: keep your hands on their thighs.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, G, she told me to tell you hello. Really? No, I just wanted to watch the Earl Grey run through your veins.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "When we have children like that in England we encourage them to emigrate.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Really? I'm feeling kinda lucky, man. Why don't you go outside?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Sorry, C., no way to beat it, you're odd.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Vivian Banks: any job she wants.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "It's great to know that all those years of law school are finally coming in handy.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "I ain't down with that old country club stuff... sitting around all night discussing mayonnaise... with four white guys named Biff. Isn't Biff a riot?", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "I'd rather be stranded at sea with David Duke leading the rescue party.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "How Uncle Phil gonna play a nephew? -How's Daddy gonna play a daughter?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "I can't believe he thinks I'm too young to gamble. I've been eating Hilary's cooking since I was three.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "It is when your breasts don't come with a receipt.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Okay, why is Michael Jackson hanging with that little boy from Home Alone?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Oh, joy.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Being 13 bites. And I'm too young to know what it bites.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Why don't you just slap a diaper on me and hang a mobile over my head?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Shaken, not stirred. I trust you won't be dancing on the table with a lamp shade on your head.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Ante is one vanilla wafer. Table limit, four mint Milanos.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "I'm 13! If these were the Middle Ages, I'd already be married... and own a pair of oxen.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "I'll get my wallet. -I'll get my Smurf bank.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Will, you poor public school casualty.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Wow, you know, Carlton, you are lucky. That could have been an asteroid.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "We're not here because of the way she shuffles cards, you know what I mean?", "c": ["Country Club Member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "All right, Robin from the 'hood is in the house. Give me 7-11, I don't mean the store. Taketh from the rich and giveth unto the poor! Blow on these bones for me, would you, slummy?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Carlton, and I, too, have a dream. And in it all of the world rises up and overcomes your stupidity... now stay out of my face.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "All right, my lucky drawers is riding high, put your money on me or kiss it goodbye!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Hoagies, cheese steaks, chicken on a spit... seven come eleven 'cause I'm too legit to quit!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Where did you learn? A back alley in Calcutta?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Hey! Now, who's hotter than Madonna in a pointy bra?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "And it is with humongous pleasure that I take this chumpy off your hands.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Well, we got a club tradition in Philly, too... it says if they don't have one, you don't give them your money.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "I mean, it ain't like I took the Benz drag racing down Sunset... at 4:00 in the morning. -Tattletale.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Whoa, hold up. You calling a red leather suit with matching seat covers a whim?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Whoa, puberty's in the house.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "How else am I gonna get to basketball camp? -$150. Hey, I gotta make up the differences somewhere.", "c": ["Ramon", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "All right, well, hey, let's just get out of here before... Linda Blair's head starts spinning around.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Yeah, but if I take all of you I won't have enough money left over to buy a hat.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "But did you know that both of them were wearing nothing but cleats?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "It was the tennis pro in the steam room. But the cleats part is right.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "It's gold. It's worth something.", "c": ["Country Club Member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Oh, sure and Mrs. Silverberg was wearing cleats... because she forgot her shower shoes.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "A few pennies, $94. Why split hairs?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Like the time I beat Bobby Greenspan at tetherball. After that, he told everyone at school that I took steroids.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "I had to stuff Bobby Greenspan in his locker before he would apologize.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "And if you beat me again, I'm taking my ball and I ain't being your friend.", "c": ["Ramon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "You grabbed Geoffrey's underwear by mistake, am I right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Wow, Will, you must be loaded! You spent $1,000 and had another $1,000 to give to me for basketball camp? I gotta raise your shoeshine rate.", "c": ["Ramon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Well, you know, it's just a loan, till his sneaker endorsement comes through... you know, around 2010.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "I want to know if you was down with donating... to the United Negro Nephew Fund.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "You know, they say a Saturday night is a terrible thing to waste.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "Something For Nothing"}, {"t": "Deck the slopes with babes in tight pants / Carlton's gonna get some romance / No, you're not, 'cause you're too ugly / They'll all be in my room, cute and snugly", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "WiII, is that aII you're taking for the entire Christmas vacation? No, man. These just my hair products.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "What about your ski cIothes? CarIton... skiing is for white guys named Sven... and O.J. Simpson.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "This is L.A., man, if I want to get my head cracked... I can star in the next Rodney King video.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Forget it, AshIey, I am not getting you a stun gun for Christmas. I'm not reaIIy going to use it on Cousin Bobby... I just want to scare him with it.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, right, and maybe it was Barbie's idea to catch that tan in the microwave.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Daddy, these tickets are aII wrong. They Iook aII right to me, sweetheart. But Daddy, they're... coach. Better watch it, HiI. Next thing you know, you'II be riding the... bus.", "c": ["Hilary", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Better watch it, Hil. Next thing you know, you'll be riding the... bus.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Baby, we're on vacation. Wherever we Iie down, we aren't gonna be sIeeping. Lester... how many times I gotta teII you to cut down on that vitamin E? I am not a machine.", "c": ["Lester", "Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "WeII, I am. You gonna Iet me rock your worId? Get a grip on yourseIf, Lester. Don't encourage him.", "c": ["Lester", "Helen"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "No, no, baby, it Iooks great. Everything is great. Even your Aunt HeIen's mustache is great.", "c": ["Vy (Will's mom)"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Is it haIf fuII of Scotch?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "I thought you said, 'Next time I see that white boy, I hope he's under a bus.' That was just a figure of speech.", "c": ["Frank", "Vy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "But for $10, you can use my sIeeping bag.", "c": ["Bobby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "I never guaranteed anyone anything. That's my motto: 'Never guarantee anyone anything... and beware of cross-eyed women.'", "c": ["Real Estate Agent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "WeII, I guess those cross-eyed women are doing something right.", "c": ["Real Estate Agent"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "What do you mean, friend? You mean like, friend... or friend?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Has Robert seen your moves?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Daddy. When you were roIIing down that big hiII... you Iooked just Iike Gumby. Yeah, UncIe Les. And you sounded Iike Patti LaBeIIe.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, Uncle Les. And you sounded like Patti LaBelle.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "This Robert must have a magic wand.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Oh, grow up.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "The onIy bIack peopIe I've seen been in the Ray CharIes Pepsi commerciaI. You're kidding. Every time I turn around, I see a bIack person.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "You're kidding. Every time I turn around, I see a black person.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Come on, girI. This is a pregnancy test, not an order of nachos.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Hey, come on, one-Ieg daddy!", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "It's oId time at the ApoIIo!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "That's probabIy Donny and Marie coming over to borrow a cup of rhythm.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "CarIton, you suburban twit, this guy's a stranger.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "UnIess he is on a muIe with a pregnant virgin... he ain't getting in here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Hey, my man, ArnoId. Why don't you say Merry Christmas for the camera? Merry Christmas. CouId I say one more thing? Yeah. Hurry up though, I'm about to run out of tape. Okay. Nobody move, this is a stick-up.", "c": ["Will", "Arnold"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "The creep even took the toiIet paper. Don't ask me how I know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "The creep even took the toilet paper. / Don't ask me how I know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "WeII, maybe he'II caII in with the resuIts.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, I thought you were the reaI estate agent. I am. I'm aIso the Sheriff... notary pubIic... mortician... and I'm a pretty good IittIe dancer, too.", "c": ["Will", "Sheriff/Real Estate Agent"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Looks like you folks have been picked cleaner than Pavarotti's chicken bones.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Let me guess... there's a Iot of marriage between first cousins in this town, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Let me guess... there's a lot of marriage between first cousins in this town, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "What the heII is a boom box?", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Buy all new stuff.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "WeII, I'm not sIeeping with anyone but Lester. Except maybe DenzeI Washington. Yes, ma'am !", "c": ["Helen", "Lester"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "No, CarIton, I'm doing homeboy yoga.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, CarIton, you're scared of zipper-fIy jeans.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "If AshIey hadn't sIapped me, man, I might have screamed.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Aren't you gonna say it back?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "If there is an ounce of decency Ieft in you... just teII him you Iove him.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "I Iove you, man. AII right? I Iove you! I Iove you!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "This is the worst damn Christmas I've ever had! And Iook at this fooI.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Hot water and chewing gum, sir.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, she couIdn't afford their cIothes, so she toId us they were topIess.", "c": ["Vy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Does that mean you're gonna go out and make me a Miata?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "For my Christmas gift... I'm gonna give AshIey a noogie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "I am going to give Bobby five seconds... before I ram that video game down his throat!", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Now, there's a gift for the person who has everything.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Thanks, baby, but I aIready have one of you.", "c": ["Vy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "You ain't no good at picking Christmas gifts, neither.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "Baby Jesus went through the windshieId and knocked him out coId.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "No, no, CarIton, you can stiII sing soIo... so Iow that we can't hear you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Christmas Show"}, {"t": "And I thought it was tough being a pirate. It ain't nothing compared to being a salad wench.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Maybe I should put my scent on it, huh? / Hey, I think not.", "c": ["Tyriq", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Ty, you're not gonna get a date... you're gonna get a hot meal and a box of free clothes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Someone with really, really big breasts.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I will never eat again. / So where are we going to lunch tomorrow?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Well, when your looks go, they'll still respect you.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "You have trouble working the pumps on your shoes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I see you as an extra from Hook.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "You better watch it before I make you walk the plank.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Do I look like a Huxtable?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Is this some kind of sick joke? / Is this some kind of sick joke?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Are we, like, in the Twilight Zone? When does everyone put on the pig masks?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Honey, that's $9.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "That's 80 cents. / Don't be ridiculous, Vivian.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "If you move the TV any closer to the bed I'll be sleeping with Jay Leno.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "$300 dollars for shoes. / Point being?", "c": ["Philip", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I think I'll slide out and simonize my halo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "You spend more on clothes than most small countries spend on grain.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I'm making a New Year's resolution to find a job. Right after Easter.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Sorry I'm late, I had to slide down to the nuclear facility and split an atom.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I want my employer to want me for me, not for what I've accomplished.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Yeah, Hil, I do and it scares the hell out of me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "What? Your body? / No, my r\u00e9sum\u00e9.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "You're gonna have to stop dotting your I's with these little hearts.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I don't know, 4 maybe 500. / Okay, there we go. 6,000 hours of catering experience.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Yes. I gained 10 pounds eating croissants. / Studied pastry making with the French masters.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I burned the entire stove to a crisp. / Expert in the art of flamb\u00e9.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "You got a broom? I mean, I could go bang on the ceiling.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I got the shoulders for it. / That shirt looks good on anyone. All the guys in the eighth grade have one.", "c": ["Tyriq", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "You know, I better return mine before my scent overpowers it.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I think you guys are spending too much time together.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Please. You can't afford me.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I deserve to keep the shirt because I was in eighth grade the longest.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Come on, this definitely ain't gonna do nothing for the misconception that all brothers look alike.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "It's 'bar mitzvah,' dunce cap. The Bar Mista is a go-go joint on Sunset.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I don't want to miss out on a lovely young lady who thinks I'm Arsenio's younger brother, Vesuvia.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "By that you mean, the crew that serves? / By that you mean, the room where the party is?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "What a great idea, Hillary, I love the matching shirts. My son in eighth grade has one.", "c": ["Barb"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Do I look like Hazel?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "That's cool. Just make sure Uncle Phil pays you top dollar for it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "What kind of monster are you?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I'd rather share a seesaw with Delta Burke.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "You know how hard it is for me to say no? No. Easier than I thought. Neat.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Sort of like that heat rash on your neck that you've been passing off in gym class as a hickey?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "13-year-old boys? Count me in. After all, Hillary's my sister.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "How much fun could you have with chumpies named Di, Fergie, and Elizabeth?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "It's clearly a lie. It's a blatant, bold-faced lie! I'll hate myself in the morning.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "In front of all these people?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "As for you, there is a special place for you in homeboy hell.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "this is my one chance to date a woman who doesn't wear all her gold in her mouth.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Say it once, say it loud, we've got brie and we're proud!", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Well, Hillary, other than the pork thing, they're pretty much just like us.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Hillary, don't be ridiculous. Carlton's the laughingstock of Bel-Air.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Blacks and Jews have a lot in common. Cherished heritage, a strong sense of community... frizzy hair.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Oh, look, a Donna Karan suit right in the middle of the kitchen floor! What color?", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Sonny, what you do in the privacy of the bedroom is nobody's business but yours. Just be true to yourself! He'll come around.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Maybe in Des Moines. This is L.A., okay?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I quit. I had to, it irritated my chin.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I was starting to get feet like Fred Flintstone.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "But they wanted me to go to away games on a bus!", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "She can sculpt cauliflower into a bust of Barbra Streisand!", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Geoffrey don't raise no fools.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "But she's so dowdy. Can I be Princess Caroline instead?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "Now you get your spoiled butt up out of this closet and you go out there and you strut your puffs!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "I'm a bad boy, ain't I?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Hilary Gets A Life"}, {"t": "'Cause of the way you get them.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Who that say they gonna beat Will Smith? What, what?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Why don't you go upstairs, get my wallet... and take your friends to the movies? In Pittsburgh.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "That's very honorable, son. You're grounded.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Actually, we got kicked out of six other people's cribs and a 7-Eleven parking lot.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Hey, but this is now, and that was this morning.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "No, I'm saving that for prom night.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Then I should probably cancel my date with that fat, chocolate woman.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Will, you pitiful Maalox poster child.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Besides, I'm the greatest, I'm a bad man, and I'm pretty.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "My manager? I don't even want you to be my cousin.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "He say he don't even want you to be his cousin.", "c": ["Tyson"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "I'll tell Dad that little circle in your wallet's not your lucky half-dollar.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Shall we take my car or the Volvo?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "I'll say one thing for Malibu, the babes are primo-delecto.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "That must be jam, 'cause jelly don't shake like that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "We can go to my place and let freedom ring.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "The only tough break he had is when the Izod shop ran out of pink.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "God, I hate when that happens.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Shut up, Smith. Can't you see I'm incognito?", "c": ["Coach Smiley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Not a damn thing, Will, it's part of the disguise.", "c": ["Coach Smiley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "They said that I'm a superbly well-oiled machine... with the face of an angel and the body of a god.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Maybe that's not an exact quote.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "But I do recognize them ears. They covered up half of 'Dear Abby.'", "c": ["Marcus"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "I'm glad you're familiar with that... because my butt is the only part of my anatomy you gonna see next week.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Only scout looking for you is trying to sell you some cookies.", "c": ["Marcus"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Most Likely to Bag my Groceries.", "c": ["Marcus"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "You may be tall and good-looking and a good basketball player... but you're not that nice.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "I'm sure they do, they can check their makeup in it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "In other words, for a small fee, I might be persuaded to date your daughters.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "We ain't had no sneakers, so we played in high-top combat boots. And we ain't had no basketball, so we used a brick.", "c": ["Old barber"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Good thing you all wasn't into archery.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Just because the roof blew off don't mean there ain't a log on the fire.", "c": ["Old barber"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Wait, I thought you lived out in Malibu. I know you thought I did.", "c": ["Marcus", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Nope. I run.", "c": ["Marcus"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Don't cut me too short, though. I don't want you give me no 'Hair Jordan.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Our motto is: 'It may be nappy, but we'll make it snappy.'", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "He used to play on the asphalt in his socks. Mother couldn't afford sneakers, you know.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "I was the only kid in preschool who knew how to downshift a big rig.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "A few years from now I'll be dunking baskets in the NBA... Marcus will be dunking donuts in a deep fryer.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "'Junior'? Yeah, Will, this is my son. My son.", "c": ["Nelson", "Marcus"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Dr. Ruth, and Dr. Pepper.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "And another thing, take this $1,000 bill and wipe your baby's nose.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Hello, Dada?", "c": ["Baby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "I dreamed you had hair like Don King. Did I look taller?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "You just hand out cigars and hope its head rounds out.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "That, and pass it to Will.", "c": ["Coach"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Sorry, it's a bad analogy.", "c": ["Coach"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "My situation does not define who I am, I define who I am.", "c": ["Marcus"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "All due respect, my brother... I don't think nobody's gonna offer you no million dollars.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "All due respect, my brother... I don't think nobody's gonna offer you no million dollars.", "c": ["Marcus"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Smith has the ball. He dribbles, he drives between the legs. He stops, he pops. And it's good! The crowd goes wild. Oh, Smith hurt his ankle. He hurt his ankle. It's over, he cannot play. Smith wins, 1-0.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "My Brothers Keeper"}, {"t": "Don't make fun of Paula. She's the only woman short enough to be my wife.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Work sucks. But you already know that, don't you?", "c": ["Hilary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm young, I'm happening, I'm groovy. Why do I have the sudden urge to tie dye my drawers and go down to the hootenanny?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "First he loses one client, then another, and another... and the next thing you know, we're all working at Domino's.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "You'll fit right in. You're used to cutting the cheese.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "All that denim will take his clients' eyes off his bald spot.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "That's more like a hair cul-de-sac.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's also hereditary.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Hot diggity dog, where have you been all my life?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "That's not all you can do, Mr. French.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "I was wondering if you could lend me a cup of Lysol?", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Like I give a damn.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Like I give a damn.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "And your buns aren't bad either.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "You read my mind.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Bad, teatime.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Dust rags, furniture wax, a massage.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "My God. I hope I didn't say that out loud.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Looks like G just got busy, English style.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "G, you're wiping the table with a croissant, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Philip Banks, this is your hair.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Say, is that Philip Banks, or Blair Underwood?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "I look like Little Richard, Attorney at Law.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Great. Where's the fish? Spoiling off the coast of Nova Scotia?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Has Geoffrey been sniffing the 409?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "No, his nose is open.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Who am I kidding? My nose is as open as a 7-Eleven.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "She's so cultured, she's so refined. She can read.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "If you ain't Barry White, you ain't got to beg.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Geoffrey breaking every rule Will just gave him during the phone call", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "The last housekeeper I dated turned up in a T-shirt that said 'Loose Booty.'", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "I want to take you in my arms like a load of fresh laundry, hot from the dryer.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "That's me, you know, please, don't squeeze the Caruthers.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "She dies.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Damn, what is my point?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Lunch is served. But it sucks.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? He's our butler.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Is that G or Blind Lemon Pledge?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "have you ever had somebody come into your life and suddenly... it's as if a door opens and everything goes from drab black and white to glorious color. And then just as suddenly, she's gone. The door slams in your face, and you're left standing alone in the dark.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "That's the saddest thing I ever heard.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "G is dying to talk to you. Ain't you, G?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, 25 mil?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Hey, hold it, can I get that limo?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Whatever you do, don't scratch. I didn't bring any extra glue.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Nothing's pulled into my station for quite a while.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Geoffrey Butler of the South Hampton Butlers.", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "He is so considerate. Put that tray down.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "I stayed with my Uncle Neville and his common law wife, Ruby.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Getting this water spot off your fork.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "They're all folded the wrong way.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "My hip hurts?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Yo, Vivian, I can't ride my Harley right now, I think it'll mess up my hair.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "You know I can water ski in this puppy.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Carlton, you are grounded until you start losing your hair.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "But there ain't no leaves, G. You see leaves, I see leaves, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "What difference does it make if she's richer than a bus load of Japanese tourists?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "You wear a tux to clean the toilet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "But the honey, like, moonlighted as a topless dancer.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "You're pretty much full of it, G.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "I think it's time for me to go squeeze the Caruthers.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "I should never have let something as foolish as $25,000,000 come between us.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Great. I own a beach. You bring the snow cones.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "Take a break, Jeeves.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Geoffrey Cleans Up"}, {"t": "What happened to your Whitney Houston cutout? She fell apart in the shower.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "My building's being evacuated due to bubonic plague.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Jazz, you're about as welcome here as Mike Tyson at a beauty pageant.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Man, just throw us in the gutter. Looks like rain. You got any Scotchgard for Bill?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "What would Bill do in that situation? Usually Pudding Pops.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Kuwaiti was my last hope. And he suspects me of borrowing his whitewalls. I did, but he ain't got no right to make that assumption.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Shoot, right now, I ain't even got a friend in Jesus.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "I will, however, require complete silence during The Young and the Restless.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, it sounds like you're getting a cold. Not at all, madam. It was barely a stipple.", "c": ["Vivian", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "As you bish, madam.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Isn't free parking guaranteed by the Constitution?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's what Desert Storm was all about.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Can't a brother get a pedicure?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Hey, after the last time, I just bought a car cover.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Sure, blame the black guy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "That's my cassette player. That's my bathrobe. That's my girlfriend.", "c": ["Carlton", "Philip", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "But enough about Marion Barry. Can Jazz stay here?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Geoffrey bathes. I can learn.", "c": ["Philip", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "If you need me, I'll be asleep under your car. But just honk before you throw it in reverse.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "I sleep naked with the window open. I hope that don't bother you. No, that's cool with me. You're sleeping in Carlton's room.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "No, that's cool with me. You're sleeping in Carlton's room.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Get the heck out of here.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "That cute little tenderoni there got my pressure so high, I'm about to blow a gasket.", "c": ["Mr. Clifford"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Hey there, Herman. No, it's Hilary. But you can call me Herman if you want to.", "c": ["Patient", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Well, not exactly, but I've seen every single episode of St. Elsewhere.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "That's not gonna happen here.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "It's sort of a shooting pain. It shoots from one ankle to the other.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Thank you for marrying... Carrying her.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Do you come in a smaller size?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Well, if you ever gave me any thigh, maybe I'd know the difference.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Jazz. I've had it with you, man! I'm about to... thank you for starching my lucky drawers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Not only that, they're bulletproof.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Malcolm's one of my heroes, too. I idolize Malcolm. He's the only reason I watch The Cosby Show.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "After I spent all morning frying the salami.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "I wasn't always, but it was the only way I could get a scholarship.", "c": ["Alec"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Before I stuck it in the machine, I washed my hands.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Before I stuck it in the machine, I washed my hands.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Now, baby, why don't you sit down and never get up?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "which is easier for some than others.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Thank God, 'cause I thought you were singing.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "There ain't enough for him.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "She sure was. I'm sorry I lost her number.", "c": ["Alec"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "I suppose everybody's too full to eat the Pop-Tarts I made for dessert.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Just like black folk. Eat, then they got to go to sleep.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.19, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "If he don't know whether or not somebody's alive, he's in the wrong damn business.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "If you want me to leave the room, just ask.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Hey, baby. I'm Jazz, a close, personal friend of Bill Cosby. Did I mention you're the only woman I ever loved?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Don't mention that to my fianc\u00e9e, Hilary. Jazz, that is Hilary.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "that's a trash compactor! When Uncle Phil sees that it's gonna be a Jazz compactor!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "We sound like an old married couple. So now I'm old?", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Course you could be cross-eyed with a rash and still take my cash.", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "I ain't got that much time left. I'll be back in three.", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Mandela was freed two years ago. And I, for one, want to make sure he stays that way.", "c": ["Alec", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Is 7:01 okay?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Well, no. But I did talk several of them into shaving under their arms.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Get the heck out of here, I'm one of them, too. Yeah, well, down at the hospital, they refer to me as Brother Doogie.", "c": ["Will", "Alec"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Who's up for meatloaf?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Next time I donate an organ, I'm just gonna let someone else perform the surgery.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Are you teaching her to read?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "And I lied. I really did think Eldridge Cleaver was a big chopping knife.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Jazz, would you prefer a Muslim or a Viking burial?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Community Action"}, {"t": "Move over, Kitty Kelly. Cedric has arrived.", "c": ["Cedric"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Through the Keyhole: Memoirs of an Embittered Butler", "c": ["Cedric"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Check this out. Is it Cedric, or is it Patrick Swayze?", "c": ["Cedric"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Oh, get real.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Allow me to see you out, Aunt Blabby.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Aunt Viv, I need a nighttime sniffling, sneezing... fallen and I can't get up medicine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "I'm all better. It's a miracle. I got no more fever I got no more fever", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Aunt Viv? -Yes? -Catch me.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Why do you think they wear masks? So they can't be identified.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "And why do you think they knock you out? So you don't see them drinking margaritas over your open stomach.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Hey, thanks a lot, Hil, that's real nice. Well, sometimes a girl just has to treat herself.", "c": ["Will", "Hillary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Don't answer that. It'll be in Geoffrey's memoirs and Urkel will play you in the TV movie.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "I, Will Smith, being of sound mind, do hereby bequeath....", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Do you want just anyone... to get their hands on that $323 and 15 cents... you have hidden under your LL Cool J hat?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Two bottles of beer on the wall... One million bottles of beer on the wall", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Zowie. It's showtime at the Apollo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Look like somebody already ate this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Running around like this could be fatal. So, you'll die and I'll get another nurse.", "c": ["Max", "Nurse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Beautiful. I never forget a face.", "c": ["Max"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Man, when I get old I hope I get as much action as you. Heck, next week I hope I get as much action as you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Man, you must be tripping. I was 15 when I first.... You mean surgery. Yes. Relax.", "c": ["Will", "Max"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "I played there 40 years ago. Bad theater, lousy audience.", "c": ["Max"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Where are my glasses? Oh, hell.", "c": ["Dr. Baylor"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Well, so much for golf tomorrow.", "c": ["Dr. Baylor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "God... please don't let me leave here with breasts.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Yo, man, what'd you call me? Kreplach. It's a dumpling. Hey, have a nosh.", "c": ["Will", "Max"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Rap tape? Sounded like an auction.", "c": ["Max"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Please, don't make me cry. I can't spare the fluid.", "c": ["Max"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Man, I had forgotten how big Jimmie Walker's lips was.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "We just brought little Billy to the hospital for a field trip. And now he's....", "c": ["TV Show Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Cause we in here bugging out, Nurse Petty.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Yo man, it's called Death Certificate, man.", "c": ["Dream Dr. Dre"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "No, but I play one on TV. Yeah, you that dude from the soap opera. Hey, didn't you just die in a car crash?", "c": ["TV Actor", "Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Right now I'm hanging precariously on the edge of a cliff... and I intend to stay there until they put a window in my dressing room.", "c": ["TV Actor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Tonsils don't get ratings, young man.", "c": ["TV Actor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Yo, man, you better be using that scalpel to cut some lemon wedges for Isaac.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Hey, man, I don't care if you're playing shuffleboard with Nipsey Russell. I ain't getting cut by no doctor with knee socks.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "I've pretended to do this operation a thousand times. Look, this time they've given me a real scalpel. Cool.", "c": ["TV Actor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Man, I'm getting out of here before Dr. Hannibal Lecter shows up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Well, Nurse, I'd run a KGB and an NAACP. If he still doesn't respond give him an upper GI Joe.", "c": ["Incompetent Doctor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "I've got to get my real estate license.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Dad, let's cut the crapola and get to what's really on our minds. Yeah. I'm talking about Geoffrey's book.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Geoffrey knows everything about us. If Mom and Dad find out what really goes on around here, they're going to kill us.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Carlton, we've got to find those memoirs. I'll just die if my friends find out why Lou in Better Shoes... gives me that 10% discount.", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "I'll just die if my friends find out why Lou in Better Shoes gives me that 10% discount.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Yeah, what if my friends find out I sleep with a hand puppet?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Do you really want Hillary to find out she was conceived during a Sly Stone concert?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Do you really want Hilary to find out she was conceived during a Sly Stone concert?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Well, it never would have happened if he hadn't been five hours late.", "c": ["Aunt Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "What are y'all doing here? And I hope them concert tickets wasn't front row.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Is that why you always play Hot Fun in the Summertime on my birthday?", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Is that why you always play Hot Fun in the Summertime on my birthday?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Probably at a white sale.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "I mean, if I wanted to get cut I'd let Stevie Wonder do my fade.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Abdullah, here's $100. If he tries to run, sit on him.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "No, I'm afraid Max has gone to a better place. Yeah, he went. Just like that.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Like I swallowed a weed whacker.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "I believe he referred to it as 'Sominex in a dust jacket.'", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Max. I thought you died. In Pittsburgh I died. It wasn't my fault. I was opening for a seal.", "c": ["Will", "Max"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Wait. The nurse said you went on to a better place. I did. Cedars-Sinai Hospital. They've got cable.", "c": ["Will", "Max"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "I did. Cedars-Sinai Hospital. They've got cable.", "c": ["Max"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "You know, maybe we could hang out sometime. Maybe. If you were a woman and I had a prostate.", "c": ["Will", "Max"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Kreplach. It's a dumpling. I got kugel here. Tsimmes, latkes. Jewish....", "c": ["Max"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "What you got to go through for a lousy $100,000 a show.", "c": ["Will Smith"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Ill Will"}, {"t": "Geoffrey's eyebrows just grew back... from the time you tried to fix the stove, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Have you forgotten the toaster incident, sweetie? Geoffrey hasn't. How was I supposed to know a piece of whole wheat would scratch a man's cornea?", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Certainly got the pants for it. -I'm calling the plumber. -I'm calling the tailor.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "There's no dial tone. There's no static, either.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Yeah, right. Right after your Uncle Philip repairs something that doesn't send Geoffrey to the emergency room.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "All right. Aunt Viv, I'll push... and if you spackle real fast, we could probably wall him in.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "No phone service for 24 hours? This is a nightmare. I mean, it's like we've vanished off the face of the earth!", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Hey, she's not being dramatic. Jimmie Walker's phone went out for 24 hours in the late 70s... and, hey, well, y'all know the rest.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Excuse my language, Dad, but it's got to be said.... I'm behind you, big guy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Sure, honey, in four years. I'm sure the phone will still be broken.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "leather on the seats, and Halle Berry on my lap.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "All I gotta do is answer a couple questions... and let my partner squirt some stuff all over me. Wasn't Jimmy Swaggart just arrested for that?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "The next person that mentions the phone, gets a boot in their behind. Mr. Banks, your phone is broken.", "c": ["Philip", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "It occurs to me, this family's got a lot to learn about hospitality.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "He's the source that revealed that Mariah Carey's black.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "You sold me a fake Rolex. You paid with a fake 20.", "c": ["Jazz", "Tyriq"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "you should have known that it was fake when you saw that the warranty was only for two hours.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "And you should have known that the Jackson on a 20 ain't Jermaine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "They all look alike to me.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "He's the source who revealed Color Me Badd was white.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Speaking hypodermically.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Yo, Mr. Banks, my tubby judicial brother.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Would you mind standing downwind?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "I guess I got a, kind of, Pep\u00e9 Le Pew thing going here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "At this rate? About the time Queen Elizabeth opens for Queen Latifah.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Man, you sure can't. You should probably call in ugly.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "the Moms Mabley look is definitely pass\u00e9.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but I had to wash. I have enough problems. I'm going through puberty for God's sake.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Hey, Aunt Viv, I'm telling you, if we band together we can take him.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Leave him alone, honey, he's mine.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "if Mr. Goodwrench wants to visit Mrs. Toolbox... he'd better get Mr. Water running.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "a show both salubrious and sudorific.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "You got a little salube on the side of your lip, too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Nice weather we're having. Guess that's 'cause we're the third planet from the sun. Unlike Mercury, where the surface is perpetually molten.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Look, a little nasty piece of carpet with a vest.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Man, Winky was my father's name.", "c": ["Winky"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Yeah, what Will needs is intellectual capacitance.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "It appears he's been getting notes warning him to get out of town.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "And to go on this game show was his last desperate wish... before he takes that old dirt nap.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "He got Bette Davis eyes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Will, can I borrow your Walkman? I'm going out for a five-mile run.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "and let me choose my words carefully... you guys are stupid.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Letters not on a phone dial? Q and Z. Best picture, 1936? The Great Ziegfeld. The third wife of Julius Caesar? Calpurnia.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "And by the way, can you remind me when to breathe?", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "The wind in my face will dry my tears.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Yeah, or a real tight butt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "when you got home around 10:00 and... your drawers ain't get here till the next morning.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Dr. Jazzy Jeff... M.D., Ph.D., and O.P.P.", "c": ["Bob Eubanks"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "And how long has he been dating Whitney Houston?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "The beloved pachyderm in question won our young hearts by turning a handicap into--", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Time is up. Let's go to your opponents.", "c": ["Bob Eubanks"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "That would be the capital 'O,' Bob.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "That would be the capital 'O,' Bob.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Sounds like the judges drank their lunch.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "'In the plains,' Bob!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "'In the plains,' Bob!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Wait. That joint ain't gonna fill up with water or nothing, Bob, is it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Bob, this is a bad time.", "c": ["Tyriq"], "jt": ["absurdist", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Eyes On The Prize"}, {"t": "Come on, Uncle Phil. Vogue.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Will, sweetie, you've been snapping everything in sight for days.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "I wanted to do something meaningful and artistic... but ain't nobody getting naked.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Carlton, this is a photography assignment. Not a Prince video.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "She was too busy calling me a pathetic servant of the capitalist fat cats.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Don't look like you be needing it now.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "I take it El was blindingly handsome.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Was he related to Wally and the Beav?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Man, that's unbelievable. Who the hell are they?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Okay, and I'm 'About To Bust A Gut-a.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Would that have been between breakfast and lunch, or lunch and dinner?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "I wasn't at Woodstock.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Those two weirdoes are your father and I, and that ugly little kid is you.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "The bone in your hair is a good look for you, Hilary.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Yeah, you've got sort of a 'yabba-dabba do.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "You have my legs, and the answer is no.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "I have known freedom, don't like the health plan.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Whatever you say, Phil.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Cool, do you have any more?", "c": ["Mr. Knotts"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna call this Midget at a Desk.", "c": ["Mr. Knotts"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Mine ain't forged this time.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "They thought The Little Mermaid was pornographic.", "c": ["Cornflake"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Turned me on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "I mean, I've spent the whole semester sucking up to you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "No, about how she used to always put her name on everything in the refrigerator.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I bet with that big old Afro, she probably had a lot of hair and Afro Sheen and stuff all over the place, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "What, you just gonna dis me right in my face like that, Marge?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "It's just 'Too Legit To Quit.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Ash, you kind of look like Winnie the Pooh Mandela.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Come on, Daddy. Suppose Gandhi's parents treated him like this. Gandhi ate his peas.", "c": ["Ashley", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Could you put in a good word for me? I'm thinking of applying.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "No way am I sharing a cell with a woman called Big Mama.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Man, and I thought I was doing my part by going to Spike Lee movies.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Come on, Will. We're harboring a fugitive. Yeah. And ever since she got here my diary has been a lot more interesting.", "c": ["Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "I hate to sound paranoid... but do we really know if Mom and Dad are who they say they are? Or if their names are really Mom and Dad?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "'Ricky Ricardo'? 'Lucy, you got some explaining to do.'", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "All right. My man Cornflake got the spirit. He's a little confused, but he's got the spirit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Will, I think I speak for all of us when I say... let's get the hell out of here.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Where are the safety goggles? My butler forgot to pack them.", "c": ["Carlton", "Cornflake"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "This is so exciting. We're like The Mod Squad, without Julie.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Man, you smell that? Damn, it's chimichanga day in the cafeteria.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "We was kind of hoping the cheerleaders would overhear.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "By the time you were 17, you burned your first bra. But I could go get one of Hilary's.", "c": ["Will", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "If you need me, I'll be upstairs saluting the flag.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "We tap every Black person's phone in the United States of America. Just a little FBI humor.", "c": ["Agent Collins"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "As a matter of fact, she said she was going to a nuclear power plant in Texas. But then again, she did mention a migrant workers' camp in Salinas. No, honey, she said she was going to a voters' registration drive in Biloxi. Well, I thought she was just going to Saks.", "c": ["Phil", "Vivian", "Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Get the heck out of here. You all mean she ain't in the bathroom?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Get the heck out of here. You all mean she ain't in the bathroom?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "By the way, I don't think we've met. Ricky Ricardo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "'You will become a famous rapper with your own TV show.' That's dope, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "'You are headed for a fall. Beware. Accidents can happen.' Those things are so stupid.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "I wonder what I'll call my TV show?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "Those Were The Days"}, {"t": "Having breakfast with Rico Suave?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Don't worry, G. I'll have it back in your room in an hour, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "How did this Playboy get in here? / I bought it.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "It's a special legal edition. The centerfold wants to be a Supreme Court Justice.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I've never known anyone in construction. Except for that guy in the Village People.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, his daughter can sleep in my room, but if she touches my stuff... I'm stuffing her in the clothes hamper.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "What? It's not like Hillary never did it.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "All she's trying to do is get to her retirement plan and her rocking chair. / Is that why she's moonwalking up the driveway?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Divas!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Hey, your complexion has cleared up. / So did yours.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "You're funny. You must be Carlton. / Well, no, you see, actually, Carlton is the funny-looking one over there.", "c": ["Robert", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "See, I'm Will. But you can just call me Your Majesty.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I may be small, but I'm not ignorant.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Isn't she the cutest little thing you've ever seen? / Not really.", "c": ["Hillary", "Claudia"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "And isn't he the biggest hunk you've ever seen? / Not really.", "c": ["Hillary", "Claudia"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "First thing she does when she gets anywhere is... she kicks off her shoes... rolls her hair up into one of them twist joints... and goes and puts on one of my big old sweat suits.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Sorry, everybody, I just had to freshen up a little bit. You like my new pearls, Will?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Yeah, but they would probably look better with one of my big old sweat suits.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Thank you, baby, but I'm eating lighter these days. / You want half my melon?", "c": ["Vivian", "Robert"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I feel a little thirsty, too. / Robert? Do you mind getting Vivian something to drink while you're up there? And toss me a Pudding Pop.", "c": ["Philip", "Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. It's just gonna break again in 20 years.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Tell them, baby. / I'm in construction.", "c": ["Vivian", "Robert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Yo, I'm working on a big deal. You know, down at the restaurant where I work? I'm about to be promoted... to vice president in charge of keeping bums out of the entryway.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "So, Robert, you know how to fix a broken dish? / Sure. You got any superglue? / I was talking about our satellite dish. / So am I.", "c": ["Hillary", "Robert", "Hillary", "Robert"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Well, why? It's hot, it's smoggy... and plus, I won't be able to hear nothing y'all are saying.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Ashley, honey, where are your manners? / I'm sorry. Did he pop the question, please?", "c": ["Vivian", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Let the maids worry about the sinks. What does he drive?", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "The important question is, does his mother like you? / She's dead. / Girlfriend, you in.", "c": ["Aunt Vivian", "Vivian", "Aunt Vivian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I'm not down with O.P.P. anyway.", "c": ["Claudia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Claudia, now, after this barbecue... you know, you guys had the junk and all the stuff in your teeth. Did my mom have to go home to use her toothbrush... or did she already have one there?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Are you trying to trick me to find out how serious they are? / So, what, you think they're pretty serious?", "c": ["Claudia", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "My brother, it's time you wake up and smell the Play-Doh.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Mom! You half-naked! / Come on, you don't want Robert to get the wrong idea. / You damn straight! You don't think I'm doing these butt-busters for my health?", "c": ["Will", "Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Okay, that's it, young lady. You go to your room... in Philly.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up, Mom. How you gonna play me? Why you ain't hook me up with one of them pink jumpies? / I couldn't find one with a fly.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Man, Jane Fonda got a butt like Arsenio.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Maybe not. I'd like to have kids one day.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "When you say 'surprise,' you don't mean like... 'I'm driving down a big hill, and all of a sudden: Surprise! My brakes don't work'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "It was an oyster bar. You see, I was a little shy, so... Luckily, she came up and she talked to me.", "c": ["Robert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Is it true you took your diaper off and ran around Sears naked? / You're damn right, and I'd do it again if I had to.", "c": ["Robert", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "So what kind of marble do you want for those his-and-hers sinks?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I'd like to impart some words that I've always lived by: Mo' money, mo' money, mo' money.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I have to admit, success is sweet. But having three beautiful women to share it with makes it even sweeter. / Especially when they're triplets.", "c": ["Robert", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "It's nice to hear you gonna have some money now. I guess them old girlfriends gonna be coming out of the woodworks, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, no jumping over the net.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Honey, save the rice. You'll be needing it for the wedding.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I was standing behind Robert in the mirror... Dude ain't got no reflection!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "How about reservations?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I feel like something exotic. / Okay. How about Lebanese? / You think Robert will mind swinging by Beirut?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I'm afraid it's drier than happy hour at the Betty Ford Center, madam.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Carlton, you just have to know how to ask. / Now can I have Barbie's head back?", "c": ["Claudia", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I haven't seen him this upset since someone told him he looked like me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I thought I was the sweet one. / You said you were the sweet one. When we tried to tell you you weren't... you wouldn't listen because you're too hard-headed.", "c": ["Vivian", "Aunt Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Vivian, I can't get this out of my mind. How can you say that I am hard-headed? / Gee, Vy, I don't know where I could have gotten that idea.", "c": ["Vivian", "Aunt Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I see your frightened inner child and I'm here to say... come out and play.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "You can never watch too much Oprah. If it wasn't for her show, I'd still be in denial about my drinking.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Of course, none of that will help you in the corporate world, but... for the next year or so you're sitting pretty.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "if your mom abandons you and gets married... you'll always have me. Because... well, you're like the brother I've always wanted.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "For not hugging you, right? / No, you know, for saying that I'm like the brother that you always wanted. And for not hugging me, man.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Boy, time flies when you're running up to your bedroom.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Don't you use that tone of walk with me.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "All right, but I'm picking my own chair. / Boy, sit down. / What a coincidence. That's the one I was going to pick.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Do you expect me to be alone forever? / Yeah. I mean, you done good this far.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "The guilt alone will get us both ponies.", "c": ["Claudia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Well, no, I'm not into using guilt for my personal gain. / Temper tantrums. That's where the money is.", "c": ["Will", "Claudia"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "When you take me to the parks with you, I can attract more babes than a puppy.", "c": ["Claudia"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Are you kidding, child? You cry more than Richard Simmons.", "c": ["Aunt Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Thanks for letting me polish your shoes... hang up your clothes, and vacuum your room. It was really fun playing Geoffrey.", "c": ["Claudia"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "What? It's not like Hillary never did it.", "c": ["Claudia"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "I'd like to impart some words that I've always lived by: Mo' money, mo' money....", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "Trying to be a professional here!", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Vying For Attention"}, {"t": "PIease, man. This ain't no restaurant. I mean, there wasn't even no goIden arches outside.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "You're this far from washing windshieIds with newspaper.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Now, just sit down and try to go a haIf-hour without saying \"yo.\"", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Yo, yo, yo. I'II have two of those.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Yo, CarIton, man, they French girIs. We in!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Yo, they don't have no standards, man. They Iike Jerry Lewis.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "This time I'II be the rap star and you be Gary CoIeman.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "He's Tiny By Nature.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "A tennis court, swimming pooI, exceIIent schooI system.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, no, man. Come on, they're famiIy. We bribe them.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Tomorrow we go French.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Hey, CarIton, they're French girIs. They're aIways in the mood.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.09, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Do you know the French word for forepIay?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Because there isn't one.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "But Iast time I squeaIed on HiIary... I found Barbie face down in the aquarium.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "When I was young, Iyrics meant something. I was scatting, WiII.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Has anybody seen my oId brown bag? / Excuse me. You used to caII me Diva.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Hillary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "So this is what a hernia feeIs Iike.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Buy a new hat, paint the house, get a divorce.", "c": ["Aunt Helen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Hey, does UncIe Lester stiII do that \"puII my finger\" thing in church?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "That means it's about sex. Either UncIe Lester is seeing another woman or becoming one.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Shoot! And it's transvestite week.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "In PhiIIy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "You're staying at the Howard Johnson's, and I won't take no for an answer.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "You heard what she said. She'II be fine. Let's go, Vivian.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I stayed up aII night Iearning the French for... \"Forget about my cousin, y'aII can both have me.\"", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, sweetie, that's aII right. You don't have to buy me anything. / I know. I meant for me.", "c": ["Helen", "Hillary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "GirI, I wouIdn't give Lester air if he was in a jug.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "You know how some men are animaIs in bed? / Yes. / WeII, I don't.", "c": ["Helen", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "One day Iast month, I met PhiIip at the door... wearing nothing, honey, but Saran Wrap and a smiIe. WaIked right past me and said, \"Hi, honey, did you make that meatIoaf?\"", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "WeII, at Ieast he spoke.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I wouId have been reaching for my cute IittIe crowbar.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I couIdn't find it.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "You thought he said Aunt HeIen? No, no. He said Van HaIen.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, not to worry, my little chocolate truffles.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Prince and Hammer are coming by to pIay Yahtzee.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry, gotta go. Barry White's here.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Not as much as we Iove French.... Toast.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Smith women tend to do that.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, my God!", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Tomorrow on Geraldo, French women who can't say 'no.'", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "BeautifuI, sexy, and she measures everything in centimeters.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "the onIy sweet things we gonna be near is a coupIe KIondike bars.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "There is no more Saran Wrap and Baggies are out of the question.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I love you, Uncle Phil!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I'II carry you there if I have to.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Sir, I hope you brought your protective cup.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Drag her home by her extensions?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Good oId Aunt Jemima. Now, that's a strong woman. I never saw her with a man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "ActuaIIy, I hear that she and the Quaker Oats dude... got kind of a JungIe Fever thing going.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Was it because I Ieft my wet underwear hanging on your wig stand?", "c": ["Lester"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Was it because I left my wet underwear hanging on your wig stand?", "c": ["Lester"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "The time I took that picture of you on the toiIet?", "c": ["Lester"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "That's it. I am never getting married.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "HiIary, wouId you pIease ask the aduIterer on your right to pass the biscuits?", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "No, not Lester the schizophrenic, Lester the impotent guy.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "but there's part of me that wouId prefer a man.", "c": ["Lester"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "WouId you reaIIy prefer a man?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "your passive-aggressive feeIings towards your absent father", "c": ["Lester"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Man, you reaIIy must be seeing a shrink.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "what does it mean when you dream... that you're fIying through a tunneI on a Scud missiIe?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I'm the one who signed his name to aII your damn birthday cards.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Aunt HeIen. My shower's broken. / UncIe PhiI fixed it.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "\"I was trapped in a bathroom with my naked aunt.\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I bet the hussy has a weave.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "If the rooster ain't crowing in the henhouse... he must be cock-a-doodIing in the barn.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "When that job went south, weII, my doodIe went with it.", "c": ["Lester"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "They doing it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "No. Because we're moving and we're not gonna teII you where.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I don't think it was the Fourth of JuIy, but I do remember fireworks.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "But, Monique, we do not have the bathing suits.", "c": ["Monique"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "No probIem, neither do we.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "WiII! / Father! / CarIton! / Mother!", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil", "Carlton", "Vivian"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Don't make me have to get ethnic on you! / I'm just so excited.", "c": ["Helen", "Hillary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "You're staying at the Howard Johnson.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "The Aunt Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "WeII, G, on a scaIe of one to ten, I'd say I'm about a 53.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "And that's fuIIy cIothed.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I'm not going on a date, I'm going on a phone caII.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "That's what I caII safe sex.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Yeah, this your suntanned Superman.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Hey, what do you say the three of us get together this weekend? You, me and your red tube top.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "HeIp me with my geography report on AIaska?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Yeah. You see, AIaska was up there aII coId and IoneIy... and aIong comes the United States... aII warm and fuII of buIging mountain ranges.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "So, the United States says: 'You know, I'm thinking of Iaying a pipeIine. Are you interested?'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Except when he wears his shower cap and runs through the sprinkIers.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Check it out. EImer Fudd. And he got IittIe ChicIet teeth.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "It's good to know those four years at Oxford didn't go to waste.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "What? You Iook cute.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Yeah. Check it out. LittIe bIuebirds fIying around their heads.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, CarIton. You're not a Bush man. You're more Iike a Pygmy.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Are you joining the RepubIican Party? No, I'm going to it.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Oh, darn. Now ArnoId's gonna have to return his.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "It's HiIary's new bathing suit. When fish ride bicycIes.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "When fish ride bicycles.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I mean, if you want to. Sure. I mean, if you want to. Sure. So.... Later.", "c": ["Ashley", "Kevin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "What did you get? TweIve. Aren't we doing math? I thought we were doing history.", "c": ["Ashley", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Is your heart beating fast, too? Yeah. And I kind of feeI Iike you do after the Teacup Ride.", "c": ["Ashley", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Can I bIow in your ear? Why? I don't know. I heard WiII say it.", "c": ["Kevin", "Ashley"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "What's it doing? I think it's giving me an earache. It wasn't doing much for me, either.", "c": ["Ashley", "Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I don't want to be cute tonight, HiIary. I've aIways been cute. I'm up to here with cute.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "It's a bad hair day, isn't it?", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "PIease. I don't remember the guy I went out with Iast week.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I feeI a IittIe chat coming on. See you.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Mom! Do we have to talk about my body?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "They're aII dogs, got it? Have a good time, sweetheart.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "They're all dogs, got it? Have a good time, sweetheart.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Had it been CarIton, you couId've put his eye out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I know how you feeI. My mom stiII asks me if I went boom-boom.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Yeah, this has been an exceptionaI week.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I mean, on the Iips. So do I.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "You know, Iike, over a cup of GeneraI Foods InternationaI Coffee?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "WiII, grow up. I'm oId enough to marry Jerry Lee Lewis.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "You don't want to be that kind of girI. You mean the kind you Iike?", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "It's 'cause there's nothing to remember.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I just want to make sure there haven't been any new deveIopments, you know... in the Iast day or so.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "WiII you stop taIking dirty?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Hi, WiII. Is AshIey ready? No, man. She's onIy 13!", "c": ["Kevin", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Come on, Iet's go into the famiIy room for some nice famiIy fun.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Where's the most unusual place you've ever made whoopee?", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "l wanna sex you up [music]", "c": ["Radio"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Filth.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Dora can tie a sIipknot with her tongue.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Is there no end to you peopIe's preoccupation with sex?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Somebody's girIfriend got grounded again?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "WeII, pardon me for being attractive.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I know. We'II rent Pretty Woman.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I'm just here to check the pIace for asbestos.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "You think anybody's gonna beIieve I have questions about sex?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I choked, okay?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "By turning into an oId ugIy man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Must you be so raw?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Hey, that's my sister you're taIking about.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "They certainIy don't go to our schooI.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "He won't Iet us watch Snow White 'cause she Iives with seven dwarfs.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I practice abstinence. But I think I've got that down and I'm ready to move on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Hey, check it out. BIack foIks pIaying tennis.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I wonder if there's a white guy somewhere tap-dancing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go out on a Iimb and make that unanimous.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Oh, God, teII me it's Geoffrey.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Now, just remember that sex is as naturaI as breathing. And I'm gonna hoId my breath tiII I'm married.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna hold my breath till I'm married.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "She Iooked Iike a beautifuI, IittIe, bIack Winston ChurchiII.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "You pack your bags, we are moving to GreenIand.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I can't do it. Can't do what, Daddy?", "c": ["Philip", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "I thought you took band.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Kevin asked his mom a question and she fainted.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Dora can tie a.... SIipknot. SIipknot. Dora can fit a whoIe orange in her mouth.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 23, "et": "Be My Baby Tonight"}, {"t": "Will, give me all your money. / I'm sorry, Carlton. I don't feel like playing 7-Eleven.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "$50? I could take 25 women out to dinner.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "And I know you can hear me with ears that big.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.09, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "So is that French nanny you're dating. Enough said.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Will, take my hand... come out of the ghetto... and take a stroll down Wall Street.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Now, when you take a girl out to dinner, they can get something to eat, too.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "So then they'll owe me something! I'm with you!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "God, how I love life on the edge.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Those almost look like real diamonds. / They are, so be careful.", "c": ["Carlton", "Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "My, that's a lovely tattoo. You know, the knife dripping blood really sets off your eyes.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "The one-armed chick that works the corner of Hollywood and Vine?", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "She a class act. Okay, $300.", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Moron! Fathead!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Bunt, you pasty-faced sod!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Mom, have I told you that every year you grow even more youthful? You're going to be well into your 40s before you need plastic surgery.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Men with money can drive her away in their cars.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "You never got me a pony.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "What the hell's your problem? You got bricks in your butt, you clown?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go out and get my very own team. It's between the Raiderettes and the Laker Girls.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "You can't buy love, Will. / Man, what you talking about? I don't want love. I just want them to follow me around saying, 'Go, Will. Get busy. Put your thing down.'", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "How can I put this in terms he'll understand? More money.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "See, I'm gonna go out and get me a Burger King, right? And then I'm gonna hire some topless counter girls... and then I'm gonna really have it my way.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Carlton? / Yes, Will? / That ain't a good thing, is it? / No, Will. / We're in trouble, ain't we? / Yes, Will.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "No Harvard. Dead end. 'Paper or plastic?'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "$24, $25. Gosh. Who'd have thought they'd pay you so little for selling your blood?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "You only have to give blood 50 more times to get Mom's bracelet back.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "But I see three of you, and I don't know which one to hit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "What are you qualified to do besides flirt with women... and dance to loud, primitive music?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Male strippers wanted. Bingo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Shake that groove thing.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Does David Duke shop white sales?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Dancing around in some cheap club... while women put dollars down my underpants. I love this country.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "They're not, thieving wankers.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "I'm Shamu.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "She's going to make some man a wonderful wife one day. Soon, I hope.", "c": ["Mrs. DeWynter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "That's what Drew Barrymore said.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "No, Master William's not home, thank God.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "And they also requested that you bring a spare... G-string.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Gingham Turtle restaurant. Sounds pretty sleazy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Check out the lowlife.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Between King Thong and Rambro.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Sir Graham Higgins, doing a medley of operatic favorites.", "c": ["Ma\u00eetre d'"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Will... shake something, damn it!", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Take it off! / Put it on!", "c": ["Various crowd"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Take it off! Put it on!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Carlton Banks, you put your clothes on this minute! / Mommy.", "c": ["Vivian", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "I just wanna say it's all his fault.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Federal offense. Go on.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Grand larceny. Impressive.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "I don't know. Reward us for our honesty?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Hey, it worked for the Beave.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "The Beave! Do I look like a white guy named Ward?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "The Beave! Do I look like a white guy named Ward?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "I thought we had an understanding, you know? I mean, we speak the same language and all. What's going on? / Babe, we ain't nothing going on but the rent.", "c": ["Will", "Agnes"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Hey, look, Agnes, slimmie, now, what's up? How you gonna play me?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Babe, we ain't nothing going on but the rent.", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "I hope it doesn't interfere with our relationship, Sweet 'N Low.", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Work it, honey.", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Hey, it worked for the Beave. / Worked for the Beave! Do I look like a white guy named Ward?", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 2, "e": 24, "et": "Strip Tease For Two"}, {"t": "Speaking of prisoners, let's talk about Will.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Switzerland. / Now that that's settled, I'll go fire up the Jacuzzi.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Would you consider Great Britain? / Well, a man can dream, can't he?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Madam, I went to boarding school. And then I went to therapy.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Who asked you? Get my lunch. / Right away, sir. / The man has a tapeworm.", "c": ["Philip", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Does James Brown have a perm?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Oh, Lord, I don't know whether to dive under the table or do the running man.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, you look great, man. You look like you lost some... hair.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Looks like the whole Jackson family could live in those pants.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "No wonder Willy Williams moved to LA.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Will told everyone at the airport I was Bryant Gumbel.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "I thought I'd get my luggage faster. / No, five old ladies attacked me for being mean to Willard.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Daddy, I need $500. / Hil, you should really consider expanding your vocabulary a little.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Come on, Hil, please, at least kiss him first.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "You're right, Uncle Phil, wrong area code. That would be Stacy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "When Jesse Jackson gets a job.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "That's because she's your mother and she loves you. I'm your uncle. I just try not to hurt you.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "And, who are you? Queen Latifah?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "That's because you only got one squaw and you all never go nowhere.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "And, Philip, how come we don't ever go nowhere?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "The big, fat vein in Daddy's head is starting to throb. / it ain't really serious till his right eye start twitching.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "it ain't really serious till his right eye start twitching.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "And, you can call me Whitey. / I think not.", "c": ["Whitey", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "I think this is our youngest daughter, Ashley. She just had a brain operation. Her head's a little swollen, hence the hat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Switzerland, Vivian. / Not far enough, Philip.", "c": ["Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Will, you must change. / Carlton, you must grow.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "I never liked Will, anyway.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "How shall I put this? The food sucks.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "The pepper's moving.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "That is the last time I buy sushi out of the trunk of a car.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "I would, Aunt Viv, but I wouldn't want to make all your guests jealous.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "No, I'm gonna call you that... then you gonna call me the other thing, and we're gonna be here fighting.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Guess a lot of your buddies wearing suits like this now, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "'Cause everyone knows Buckwheat never went to medical school.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "I don't really think that Stacy's your type, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "And what are you looking at, Whitey?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "No you won't, worm head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "You dating Whoopi Goldberg?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Dang, your toilet broke, too?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Company with breasts. / They're lonely.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Sorry, my brother... but those are the harsh realities of the cruel world in which we habitate. And now, booty awaits me.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Dang, I thought I was having a bad hair day. You going bald, man. You about to look like my uncle in a minute.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "This is a black thing, right? You're going to pee on my foot.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Guess the cat's got its tongue.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "I've looked everywhere. There isn't an ice cream sandwich left in this town.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Quite right, sir. You threw him on the lawn. He rolled into the street.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Looks like you really blew it this time, huh, big guy? / I just hope the Willster's still breathing.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "See how he be trying to play me, Fred?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "You forgot the part about Will getting arrested.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Don't joke about that, Will.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "When did you have a man in the Jacuzzi?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "That's between me, that man, and his video camera.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "but you don't think a 6'3\", 250-pound black dude in a dashiki and an afro the size of West Philly is drawing attention to himself?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "So, as long as you keep the hair... the clothes and the beeper... you're all grounded.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.61, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "All right, look y'all, this is a classic case of divide and conquer. Look, Malcolm warned us about this. Get him!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"}, {"t": "Shabba!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "It's kind of fly, right? Don't you wish you lived on TV?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Must be what it sounds like to wake up in Little Richard's crib.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "She dumps you, Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Step to it, Ash.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Night, Sister Mary Margaret.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Sister Mary Margaret drives a Porsche?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Man, they must got it going on down at the convent, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "We're not Catholic. Well, is my face red. Good night.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "I also said Daddy lost weight.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Look, kids, this is where we lived when we first got married. And this is the little park where we walked little Hilary. And, look, there's the pet store where we bought little Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "I think it's cute. They're going to be mushy and lovey-dovey all day.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Vivian, what the hell is the matter with you?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Happy anniversary, sweetheart. It's not our anniversary, Philip. Oh, God, good.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Vivian, don't you think you're being just a wee bit erratic this morning?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Well, actually, Aunt Viv, you got a kind of a Don King... Kris Kross, Bride of Frankenthing going.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Not many people could pull it off. You know, as you're proving, right, but...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Shooting baskets with Michael Jordon.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "You know, Clair would never talk to Cliff like that.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Yo, my brother, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "It's Hammer time.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.28, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Sorry about that, man, you know, you have to excuse my cousin... you know, he's an idiot.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Oh, God, what a stallion. Time to saddle up.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Yo, what's up, baby? Hurry up, write your number down before I don't want it no more.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "And I'm going to buy you a car.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Carlton can't help you, he's on the debate team.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Really, I'm captain of my debate team.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "How about over there somewhere, like, say, Cleveland?", "c": ["Simone"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Tell me to go to Cleveland, mushroom head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "No, row versus wade, the best way to cross a stream.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Predictable, sir? She said that I wear the same... Blue shirt every weekend, sir? Yes, I mean, just because a man has... Froot Loops every morning. Just because I watch... Legal Eagles every night.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Why, you're a regular hotbed of spontaneity.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Because your soda's flat.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "And then when I was 12, I played Maria... in an all-boy production of West Side Story.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Will you marry me?", "c": ["Simone"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Well, there go the nerdyweds.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Don't... I'm not finished with you yet, woman. Well, I'm through with you, man. Yeah, that's right, I'm bad.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "You're not coming back.", "c": ["Noah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Yo, I'm from Philly. We had to save up to be poor.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Tell Dan Quayle I said, 'What's up.'", "c": ["Noah"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "I don't even know Dan Quayle.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Make up your mind, man. What do you want me to do first?", "c": ["Hector"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Dad, don't do anything stupid, you haven't updated your will yet.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Yeah, ain't you the guy from Family Matters?", "c": ["Hector"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Curly? They must go way back.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Who's Hector? I don't know, but be nice to him... he's got a bat.", "c": ["Hilary", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "But, of course, who else could it be with those muy grandes orejas?", "c": ["Hector"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "What does that mean? Big ears.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Hector, let me see that bat for a second.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "I'll remember him now!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Hector, I love what you've done with the place.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "He ain't doing that well.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Look, there's Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Don't even think about kissing me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Well, I tried flushing her down the toilet, but the little creep floats.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "What have you been smoking?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Word up, and she was divorced, too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Parents just don't understand.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "No, The Wall Street Journal, the part where AMC goes belly up.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "What, tall?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "I'm black?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "I'm rich! I'm rich!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Did I ever tell you folks how much I like visiting?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Man, I wonder if that divorced lady still live here? She probably like 127 or something...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Great! I'm going to plan a party.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Of course not. Lucky for you.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Philip, I'm pregnant!", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Will Gets Committed"}, {"t": "Oh, check it out. LAPD, The Home Game.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "I have fallen and I can't get up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Okay, but I'm living with the one who keeps the house.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "No. We're not getting a divorce, stupid.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Wait. Hold it, hold it, hold it. You and you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Yo, they ain't laughing, y'all.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Ew! And I'm not baby-sitting. I'm not changing diapers. And I'm not sharing my trust fund.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Now, kids, I have great news. We're going to have a baby! Yay.", "c": ["Phil", "Kids"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Going to the electric chair?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "The catering business is so unfair. I mean, a couple of nuns get botulism and all of a sudden, I'm blacklisted.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I have to move out? Whose fault is it that she's pregnant?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Yes, and we don't want you in any of them.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Hilary, honey, what your father's trying to say is... you don't live here anymore, honey.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "But this is all so sudden. I mean, like, if I'd only had some kind of warning or something.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Again?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "What a week. First, those damn nuns, now this.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "A word to the wise, Will: Stay in high school forever.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Bet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Just do what Carlton does: Give them money.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Oh, great, now I'm ugly.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "But if we run into each other at school, act like we've never met. Don't acknowledge me, don't talk to me, act like I'm invisible. If you're not sure how, just do what all the other girls do.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "And any day now, it's going to kick in, right?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Cute, rich girls that know the one thing their parents can't stand... is for them to be dating a big black dude.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Just look for the huddle of girls with the chocolate center.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "It's a disgrace. It's a scandal. It's an outrage! It's the mother of my children.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Hurt me! Hurt me!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Hold up, baby. See... now, I noticed you noticing me. So I just want to put you on notice that I noticed you, too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Actually, baby, you got it, but I take donations.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "You drug them?", "c": ["Kenny"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Will, the judges like her. They really, really like her.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "I can't believe how hard it is to find a beachfront place... with a pool and tennis court for $500 a month. I mean, what's happening to this country? It's enough to make me want to vote.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "You're not going to be happy until I'm living in a trailer, eating Spam on Ritz. I mean, that's where this is going, isn't it?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Run with that.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "And that was just from 10 minutes of hiding under the bleachers.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Boom Boom LaSalle. I wonder why they called her that?", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "You the man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "finished his Yoo-hoo and went right home.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, Philip. Go back to where you finished your Yoo-hoo.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, you'll be happy to know that... none of the boys tried nothing with me, neither.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "There you go noticing me again.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "She senses that big, wet, nasty blob of mayonnaise on your cheek... and she can't eat till you wipe it off.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "It's kind of hard to impress the honeys... when your baby sister's blowing bubbles in your milk.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "She's cool! She's hot! She's... your baby sister, man!", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "I'm ordering you to look unattractive.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Ashley, who did you have for breakfast, some hormones or something?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Yeah, where'd she get that Lee Press-On body?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Hurt me! Hurt me!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "I know you better float your midget boat on out of here.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Don't you shake your neck at me like that, girl.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "And don't you shake that either.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "You give a man a fish, you feed him for a day... But you give a man a cow and he can eat for a month, maybe more.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Don't, don't, don't. She's on a roll.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "I'm going to live in the pool house. You said I had to be out of the house, but not off of the property.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Philip! Philip, honey. Honey, we're getting off easy. Come on. But it's not fair. She's winning!", "c": ["Vivian", "Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Baby, I'm telling you. You've got more moves than a bowl of Jell-O. And there's always room for Jell-O.", "c": ["Kenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Actually, Will, he sounds like you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Actually, Will, he's better than you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "But, baby got back!", "c": ["Kenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Will, I know my sister needs me, but that girl was babelicious.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Carlton's a basket case.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Actually, a lot of guys don't know. Well, really, damn near all guys don't know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Have your people call my people. We'll do lunch.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "people who live in glass cribs shouldn't throw hard stuff.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Let your smile be your umbrella?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "You can't get it yet. But I've got your number.", "c": ["Veronica"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Am I as superficial as all those guys I warned Ashley about?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "could it be that I'm more obsessed with breasts and thighs... than Colonel Sanders ever was?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Nah!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Yo, baby, I know your feet must be tired... 'cause you been running through my mind all day. Come here, girl!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "Any of y'all ever glossed your hair? Because I don't know. Maybe it's a new cult thing or something, that I don't know about.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "Thats No Lady Thats My Cousin"}, {"t": "When Vivian asks if she's just a bustline to him, Philip responds 'Did you say something, honey?'", "c": ["Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will suggests Carlton's musical taste came from Vivian listening to 'It's a Small World After All' while pregnant", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Vivian tells Will 'Hands off the fetus'", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will suggests the African name 'Brother Outaphilia'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Brother Outaphilia", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will says about Hilary and Carlton: 'they a couple of wings short of a bucket'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hilary immediately proves Will's point by asking Philip to increase her credit card limit", "c": ["Hilary", "Philip"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "V-neck!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will responds 'Coincidence? I think not.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Philip asks if he has to sit through Carlton's Urkel impression again", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Philip tells Carlton 'No, and get some Binaca' after Carlton stares him in the eye", "c": ["Philip", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton asks for $75,000 allowance raise, justifying it as 'The book says start high'", "c": ["Carlton", "Philip"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I'd like a raise in my allowance. - All right, how much? - $75,000.", "c": ["Carlton", "Philip"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton says 'Now I can stop taking money from your wallet' when Philip offers $3 more", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hilary says 'This is the last time I shop here for fruit' about the grocery store", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton suggests putting a bell around Hilary's neck so they know when she's coming", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "When asked what she has to say for herself, Hilary responds 'I'm not pregnant'", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hilary asks 'Why don't you just beat me with a wire hanger?' when told to get a job", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will brags about being on the news 'without handcuffs'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will says the protest 'would even made Gandhi proud. Except we went out for burgers afterwards'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will admits his social consciousness comes from a girl on the swim team teaching him the breaststroke", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Yeah, polyester.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hilary says the reporter is cute and wonders why she's never seen him, Geoffrey responds 'Probably 'cause this is the news and he's never been on Studs'", "c": ["Hilary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "After Hilary's self-pity about having no job and being nobody, the family shouts 'Shut up!' because they're trying to watch TV", "c": ["Family"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will raps on TV news: 'I'm for the rec center because that's where I do most of my rec centering'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "When I got home late from the grocery store, Mama said, 'Lock him out!' Now I know why Pops had to go 'Cause Mama is way whacked out!", "c": ["Will on TV"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will complains about Black people always 'singing or dancing' on TV with 'curlers in their head or out of activator'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "What's activator?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton's nonsensical comparison: 'Was it fair when Bambi's mother died? Or is it fair that the coyote still can't catch the roadrunner?'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will responds to Carlton's cartoon philosophy: 'If life was fair, then your legs wouldn't be shorter than your arms'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Receptionist Carla says about a caller: 'Just another lonely white woman wanting to sleep with you' then 'She's my mother'", "c": ["Carla"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "When Will tries to compliment Hilary, he struggles and settles on 'your hat always matches your shoes'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "When Hilary 'accidentally' drops her wallet near Trevor, Carla says 'if your horny friend wants to meet Trevor, he's down the hall'", "c": ["Carla"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "But you'll have to fight my mother for him.", "c": ["Carla"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Howard says 'Ethnic is definitely a way to go' about Will, misunderstanding his point entirely", "c": ["Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Mail cart Mike says 'I'm 60 and I'm pushing a mail cart. Do I look like I can help you?'", "c": ["Mike"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "When asked about weather, Hilary responds 'What happens when it rains? You send Geoffrey out to get the car'", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will protests his treatment and Howard responds 'That's why I'm making her our new weather girl' pointing to Hilary", "c": ["Howard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Howard says 'I love a screamer' after Hilary gets excited about the job", "c": ["Howard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "It's 'cause I'm black. That's what the thing is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton asks 'Haven't you learned anything living with me the past two years?' Will responds 'What, you mean other than the words to Mandy?'", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will says about Carlton's previous sharing: 'Last time you shared something with me... I was on antibiotics for two weeks'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil starts singing 'We Shall Overcome' after being manipulated by Will", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "When Hilary describes her new job, Carlton panics: 'Oh, my God! She's gonna be a hooker!'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Philip says 'With any luck, she'll be off my property before I'm dead'", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton demands Will 'Hop on one foot and say, Carlton is king' for negotiating help", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Will responds 'How about I squeeze your neck till your head pops off?' and Carlton says 'See, you're negotiating already'", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton advises 'You gotta lie to get what you want. Didn't you watch the Republican convention?'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "When Will threatens to storm the set, Carla asks 'Will you be needing wardrobe?'", "c": ["Carla"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Trevor says about the previous weather person: 'I'm gonna miss Lou.' Someone corrects 'I thought his name was Jack.' Trevor: 'Whatever.'", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Trevor Collins and these are my real teeth.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Trevor's pickup line: 'I can see myself in them. Don't blink.'", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "News transition: 'Well, on a brighter note, Jack, our weather man, died.'", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hilary's weather report: 'That's right, girls, it's a frizzy-hair day.'", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hilary's beach advice: 'remember... you can help keep America beautiful with two simple words... Jenny Craig.'", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Howard reacts to Will's hijacking: 'Oh, my God, can we get a close-up? I am so choked up at this moment.'", "c": ["Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Trevor's Freudian slip: 'We will certainly be looking forward to seeing more of your warm front. I mean, the warm front.'", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hilary, your hair's on fire. - Thanks.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hilary says goodnight to Trevor who responds 'Good night and Godspeed' - his sign-off", "c": ["Hilary", "Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Hilary Gets A Job"}, {"t": "You know that model in all them Hugo Boss ads? - Yeah. - You don't look nothing like him.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "You've never even found a woman you'd share a burrito with.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Sure it wasn't your breath?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Oh, look, hors d'oeuvres. Isn't it great to be rich?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Is Daddy bringing home white people?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Door! Door! Door!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "All right, don't wet yourself. I'll get it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Say hello to Daddy.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Congratulations, man. He's a boy. Carlton, come on, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Carlton, a father? He won't even let Ken and Barbie sleep in the same shoebox.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Hey, the longest relationship Carlton ever had was with last year's... Ebony swimsuit issue.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Well, it looks like they wear the same size.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Oh, he is so cute. Oh! Get this drool machine away from me.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Well, I can assure you, it won't be me. This time, the butler didn't do it... hasn't done it... and I'd be surprised if he even remembered how to do it.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Philip, I am never wearing a bathing suit again, as long as I live. Now, honey, I'm sure the pool man didn't really mistake you for me.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "He called me Mr. Banks. That's still no reason to hold his head underwater, sweetheart.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "I'll get you some antacid for that. - No, don't. That wasn't me.", "c": ["Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Well, I'd take a shot in the dark and say around nine months.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Now, for those of you just tuning in to Name That Father... this little bundle of joy belongs to a young man... who's seen Little Mermaid eight times.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Not you, stupid. Sit your butt down.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Come on. Pep it up, little grey man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Where do you think you are, Fantasy Island?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Carlton is the most incredible lover I have ever had... It was amazing, and endless, and magnificent. I think I saw God.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "The windows. I'm sorry. I fell. We didn't mean to. I fell. I fell.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Or at least had you neutered.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "You know... it's like the Rodney King videotape, you know? I just keep seeing it over, and over, and over again.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "No, I'm not in trouble, but, no, check it out. Somebody we know is a grandma. No, not you, Mom. Mom. No, Mom. Mom, stop crying.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Carlton is the father. Stop laughing, Mom.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "That makes them bring it faster.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "So when will your mommy and daddy be home?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "I never knew having a family could be so neat.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "All right, whoa. I'd like to take this opportunity... to bring it to everyone's attention that Uncle Phil's head is about to explode... and, for once, it ain't my fault.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Yeah, it smells like you needs to be changed, too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Hold me back, Philip. - Carlton, get out. Get out, now. Go. Hey, I got him, but take another step, and I'll fill you full of potassium.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Are you climbing down Rapunzel's extensions?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "No, Carlton, nobody drives to Lompoc. You drive through Lompoc.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Yeah, you lucky I ain't going to do you like Kunta Kinte and chop off your foot.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Perhaps you'd like me to catch a Frisbee in my teeth?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Look, Adolph, Eva, why don't you all relax for a second.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Who knew Christmas would come twice this year?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "I don't know, Uncle Phil. Did you check the cracks in the couch?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "That's a good idea. I'll call one, you call the other.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Here comes little Mr. Ducky. Doesn't he quack you up?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "If I could pass like that, they wouldn't make me play on the girl's team.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Yo, hey, look, my fault. You all, see, my cousin was supposed... Hey, congratulations, man. So you're having his baby?", "c": ["Will", "Chapel Officiant"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "She left me. I got the feeling she didn't want to live with me. - What made you think that? - She said she didn't want to live with me.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Oh, man, I mean, she can't just walk out on you like that. What if the kid is yours? He's not. Carlton, come on, just because the baby is cute... doesn't mean you're not the father.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "you a German?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "It's nice to know somebody still is.", "c": ["Chapel Officiant"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "I mean, hey, don't feel bad though. I mean, a lot of guys are... you know, Germans.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "no way. Yucky.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Good, 'cause I'm really looking forward to losing my accent.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Mamas Baby Carltons Maybe"}, {"t": "Just for tonight, how about you let your buns down?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, you look great today. Have you done something different with your hair? / Yes. I stopped pulling it out.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Marvelous. With what I'm paid... I should be able to afford one by the end of the day.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "You poor, pathetic gigolo. How could any self-respecting man sell himself so cheap?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Like I don't hear enough of that from my mother.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I was talking to Will. / Of course. Why would anyone talk to me? I am but a poor, lowly servant.", "c": ["Carlton", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Hey, besides, you know what they say about guys with big ears? / They can fly?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "He's probably afraid he'll crack the concrete.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "What'd he do? Have the halls widened?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.71, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I think I should have never said nothing about them halls.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "What am I, psychic?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I was born beautiful. What are you selling?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "It's Ben.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Right this way, money... Honey. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Well, you know, nights do that sometimes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I have obligations. I have commitments. I have a gold watch.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Yo, G, here's the whipped cream you wanted for dinner. / Who said it was for dinner?", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "This gold model was handcrafted in Switzerland by the finest of craftsmen. Keeps time accurate to within three seconds a year.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Love the Casio.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Carlton, I couldn't hear you. My damn watch was just ticking so loud.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I mean, take Moses... when he was asked to part the Red Sea, did he say, 'No, y'all build a dam'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Here comes the judge. Here comes the judge. Order in the court! Here comes the judge.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "It wouldn't kill you to crack a smile, you know.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Looks like you haven't stepped on the scales of justice in quite some time.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I'm laughing at something that happened yesterday. I'm done now.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Ain't nothing wrong with his memory.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "There may be snow on the roof, but there's still fire in the furnace.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "You've aged.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "And what the hell is that you're wearing?", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Benson.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I didn't know you were really a butler.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "But, Aunt Viv, how come he keep calling you Weezie?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I asked him to pass the salt. He told me to go long. / He was joking, Vivian. / Philip, he broke a window.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Daddy, he said the only choice a woman should have... is with or without the lights on. / See, now that's disgusting. The lights should be off.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "That's ridiculous. What if she's serving coleslaw at a picnic?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Point taken. You have the makings of a fine judge.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "You see, the prosecutor was a babe... so after I decided in her favor, she decided in mine.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Good, maybe you can remember where I parked.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Wow, a motorcycle jacket with Malcolm on it. I can ride and be righteous at the same time.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Yeah, right, like you wouldn't take it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I was careful when I drove it through the house. / I mean where did it come from? / The Harley factory.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Now you know what you need to do, don't you? / Yeah, put out.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "If I keep the bike, I'm a pimp. If I give it back, I'm a damn fool. Well, pimp it is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Forget it, honey. At $5 a pop, I'm not sharing.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Jesse Jackson?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Get your hands off my chocolate, or you're a dead man.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "No, I mean, that those women didn't shave under their arms.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "That's a relief, 'cause I was about to wonder... why Uncle Phil was holding that dude's hand.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Well, big guy, may I suggest using flash cards with really big pictures?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "If he's the man I think he is, he'll probably get lost on his way to the bathroom.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "For the last time, sir... I am not Benson.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Not only has she aged, she has a beer belly. / That's my wife and she's pregnant. / Then she should lay off the beer.", "c": ["Judge Robertson", "Philip", "Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Make the check out to cash. In fact, why don't you just give me the cash? Or maybe that ring.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Well, where did you have them last?", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I'll be frank. / Okay, and who am I?", "c": ["Philip", "Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I don't have to wear pants, and besides, there's no one to run against me.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "And I can see myself in your head.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Wow. Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "No wonder the garage door opener didn't work. It took forever to pry it open.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Women. They've been a problem ever since they got the right to vote.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "What else? I married her.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "But the truth is, I dumped her after law school.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I got the money, the house, the car, the boat, and she got to keep the kids.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Possession is nine-tenths of the law, my boy.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Princess Leia! May the force be with you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "As if I didn't know, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "You ever think about going into politics?", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "You certainly weren't cheap. Cost me a fortune.", "c": ["Lindsey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "You take this ring back, 'cause my mother don't scream at me like that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "Nice meeting you, young lady. Be sure to rock the vote.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I really loved that watch.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Ps I Love You"}, {"t": "I got my sights set on this school... with the largest repository of girls with the big old butts. Oh, yeah!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "'cause my CD player has the wires on the inside.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Why would I want to buy a broken CD player?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I don't think you'd have to announce it, Mr. Banks. If you ran, we'd hear you coming.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "He still could use the exercise.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Whoa, Uncle Phil, you sure you wouldn't want Carlton to wear Aunt Viv's apron?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "You told me to get it cleaned. So I washed it.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "You make a doorknob look smart, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "At least I got out all the A.1. sauce.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Will, I hardly know you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Hey, have you been undressing my Teddy Ruxpin again?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm happy that this fits over my belly.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Call a cop.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I've been waiting all my life to hear you say that.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Thank you. See, Will, I inspire him.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Here, Carlton. Eventually, you'll grow into it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Well, down the toilet it goes.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Did I leave here with my pants on? Yes. Oh, thank God. But that means you must throw a lousy party.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Judge, we discussed that over dinner. I'm running against you. What? How dare you! Get out of my house! Out! Lionel, show him the door.", "c": ["Phil", "Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Yes, yes!", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "You idiot, you don't even deserve to sit on the bench.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I didn't know he had kids. He doesn't. And that's not his wife.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "And am I crazy or does he look 10 years younger?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Lovely family. Thank you. Who are they? Rented.", "c": ["Reporter", "Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "No, Rahjim Shabaz, Muslim activist. Salaam alaikum.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "And you think that just 'cause you got that badge... and all your tough cop friends walking around... and your cute little walkie-talkie... that you can talk to folks any old way you want to do it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Hip-hop cop. Blue looks nice on you, too. Match that big blue vein throbbing in your neck right now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "One hell of a Friday night.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "How could he go to Alice's All Nude Review without me?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I thought he was selling condoms.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "You're dead meat, Tiny.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I'd die if you made your own bed.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I'd die if you made your own bed", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Will, you seem embittered. Jail will do that to a man. Now that you've done hard time, a book may be in order. Criminals sell. I can sell criminals. You're a criminal.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Really? And you're too short to ride the teacup ride at Disneyland.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Haagen-Dazs opened in Bel-Air?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Will, I got $2,000 worth of parking tickets.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Can I borrow $2,000?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Ain't you going to even bother to throw me out?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "So what are you wearing?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Do I look like Jimmie Walker?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "No, Will, I don't want ribs, I don't want to wax your ride... and I don't even know what a Chumpy is.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Actually, Aunt Viv, you got a, kind of a... homicidal, sumo-wrestler thing going.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "What am I, Freud? Grab a fork, Vivian.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "You probably want to hang out with educated people... who drink their malt liquor in a glass.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I think you mean hand to mouth, Jazz.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Don't try to impress me with your fancy education.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "You used to think that was cute.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "You used to think that was cute", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I'm not a faucet to be turned on and off at your whim. I have emotions.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I'm not a faucet to be turned on and off at your whim. I have emotions", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I said, 'shoot,' Mom.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "I raised my boy better than that. Oh, God.", "c": ["Will's Mom"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Here Comes The Judge"}, {"t": "Please, man, I'm from Philly. To me, a wilderness experience is dating a girl who don't shave her legs.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "My uncle Reggie always insisted the woods were safer than the cities. Until the day he died. - Word? Yo, how'd he die? He was eaten by wolves.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Carlton's log. Earth date: 1992. It's 6:00 a.m. Up with the dawn, the small band of brave souls prepare to pile into their Mercedes.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Carlton, you look like Webster on a safari.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Beauty makeover? With this face? I don't think so.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Hey, man, I ain't trying to be nowhere around a wind that can knock Uncle Phil to the ground.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "And you know how often I'm right. Bye.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Let's unpack the rain gear. Yeah.", "c": ["Phil", "Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Do you think anyone would drive by the same tree seven times on purpose?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Carlton's log. We're somewhere in the galaxy. My father has no idea where.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, can you take a stroll into the '90s, please?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "We are three black men on the side of a mountain road. The only people that's going to stop... is going to have on sheets and saying stuff like, 'Get them, Jim Bob.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Wait, this ain't the Volvo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Yeah, great idea, Carlton. You can tell them exactly where we are, too. Somewhere in the dark between a rock and a tree.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Well, I guess sending for pizza's out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Does Bigfoot have to come down here with a chain saw... before you admit we're in trouble?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "You know, I feel really comfortable like this, too, Geoffrey. I mean, I don't need to hide behind cosmetics. I'm beautiful just the way I am.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. It's Trevor. Quick, get my hot comb.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "They look just like the flowers down at the newsroom. Just be sure to have them back before 10:00.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "I have no life.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "On my day off? You'd really let me?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Or you would be if you combed your hair once in a while. And some lipstick wouldn't kill you, either.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Carlton's log. I'm wet. I'm wet and I'm cold. I'm wet and I'm cold and I'm in a cave. Shut up, Carlton.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "I want to go to college and poke fun at all the kids on financial aid.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Do you all mind if I get butt naked and roll around in this for a little while?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Goodnight, Abe. Goodnight, Alexander. And I can't forget you, Ben.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "A really bad cook?", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "I have never been so insulted in my life. Blind people recognize me.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "I put the 'afro' in aphrodisiac.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Carlton's log. I hate Dad.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Come on, Uncle Phil, at least knock him out first.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I can't get a date, either.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Ben. You was one of the few white people I could really count on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Will's log is about to connect with Carlton's head!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Perhaps a matinee and a box of Raisinets.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Can we get some Goobers?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "So I used to put on one skate and push with the other foot. Never seemed like I could be fast enough to keep up with the other kids, though.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Thanks for my other skate, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.56, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "How come they just couldn't give him some cereal?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Vivian, I'm not a machine!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "If I ever agree to go camping with you all... just hold my head underwater till I stop struggling.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "He's trying to find his way back to the circus.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Terrible. Uncle Backdraft made us burn it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "I must have miscounted. Oh, well.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "How to pinch a tent? Come here, you cute little tent. I'm gonna pinch you. You is a cute little tent.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Boyz In The Woods"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, you really would have buried Judge Robertson... if you would have let me put the Uh-Huh Girls in there with you. It would have been like, 'Banks is the right one, baby, uh-huh!'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Philip Banks, and I'm running for Superior Court Judge.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "And if you put me on the bench, I'll take a real bite out of crime. Bite.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Vote for Philip Banks. Philip Banks.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Emmy!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Oh, please, from who? From Latisha. She said you looked really handsome.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "But she also thought Delta Burke looked better as a blonde.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Trevor, that's so sweet. But, honey, call me Mrs. Banks.", "c": ["Vivian", "Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Home of the Whopper, what's your beef?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Some chicken here talking about she from the Oprah Winfrey Show.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "This is Trevor Collins, goodbye and Godspeed.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Well, actually, Phil, she doesn't, you're nobody.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "What was it? God.", "c": ["Trevor", "Family"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Wait, am I going to need a passport?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "And I think I speak for everyone in this room when I say: 'What am I going to wear?'", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "And as soon as you tell him, let me know.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "How difficult could it possibly be?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Have we met?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Well, that's telling him, Philip.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Wow, I'm sorry for staring, but... man, girl, you real fine. You know, I was a little nervous about flying, but... as long as I can look at you, I know I'll be all right.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Can I fluff your pillow?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, I'll get you in one later.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Honey, couldn't we just put him to sleep?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "You have beautiful hair. I know.", "c": ["Alexis", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Well, I tell you what, if you really like it, I will send you one in your size.", "c": ["Oprah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Gee, Oprah, I really like that diamond bracelet. Nice try.", "c": ["Will", "Oprah"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Okay, everybody who's going to be on the Oprah Show, take one step forward. Not so fast, Will.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "I've always wanted my own gavel.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "We're not ready for that portion of the show just yet, but, Mrs. Banks... I'm Will, Oprah, I can answer it.", "c": ["Oprah", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "No, Philip, it's Richard Nixon wearing a Will mask.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Well, I sure would, son. And let me say, I love your Leslie Uggams.", "c": ["Senator Lloyd"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "You are so brave. I mean, wearing red shoes with a pink dress.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Has being in politics ruined your sex life? No, mine's great, how's yours, honey?", "c": ["Guest", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Sit down, shut up, and behave yourself.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "You all are related?", "c": ["Oprah"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Here, you poor sweetheart. Blow. You poor baby.", "c": ["Oprah"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Don't you think so, audience? Go on up there and be with your family, where you belong.", "c": ["Oprah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Oprah, this guy can't even run his own home. Why should he be elected to office?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "I mean, when I lost my job and he kicked me out of the house... he let me live out back.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Well, he didn't actually kick her out of the house. He just changed all the locks and told her she didn't live there anymore.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Well, with the big pay cut you'll have to take, we'll all be living in the pool house.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Look, I don't like to tell tales out of school, but Trevor keeps a make-up case there.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Stand on a chair and say that to my face.", "c": ["Trevor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "You have both lost your American Express cards. Do you want to work on your Visa?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Well, if you ask me your whole damn family is crazy.", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Hey, man, don't nobody talk about my mother, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "You know, your initials, O. W? Did anybody ever tell you that spells 'ow'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "I knew that.", "c": ["Oprah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Two free tickets to the Donahue Show. Tell Phil Oprah said, 'Hi.'", "c": ["Oprah"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "She likes me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Will, you're smiling like Dad does when he finishes the Happy Birthday bucket at Baskin-Robbins.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Man, you scream your girl's name out on TV, you'd be smiling, too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "And in a related story, Judge Carl Robertson announced today that he is adopting 12 ghetto youths.", "c": ["TV News"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Oh, well.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "Oh, God! You have just made the blooper reel.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "A Night At The Oprah"}, {"t": "What, a Pizza Hut in the garage?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Hello, is President Bush there?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Carlton, are you by any chance an idiot?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "I'm in a position to scratch his back if he'll scratch mine, capische?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "I've been saving that genteel pleasure to calm myself lest I get too giddy from scrubbing the john.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "You know, you really need a woman, G. / What's a woman?", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "All right, Hilary, how much do you want? / No, I'm talking about... Well, $100.", "c": ["Philip", "Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "where do you stand on a woman's right to choose the restaurant? / I think we should leave that up to the Supreme Court.", "c": ["Hilary", "Philip"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Self magazine... Shape magazine... and Sassy magazine. And for you, sir, Elf magazine... Ape magazine... and Sissy magazine.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "But Dad, aren't some of those lies? / Carlton, honey, they're all lies.", "c": ["Carlton", "Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, let me tell you a little story. / Oh, no.", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Amen, sister.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "So, this story is about you, isn't it, Will? / That's right, Uncle Phil. And to this day I just thank God I had my two-headed coin... 'cause that girl was smoking, man.", "c": ["Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "If Banks gets into office, we won't have to hide anymore... this city's ours!", "c": ["TV criminals"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "He like begging, he like, 'Philip Banks, kick my butt.' / Philip Banks, kick the man's butt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Because it goes against everything I stand for. / What's your point?", "c": ["Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "I have faith in L.A. That L.A. will have faith in me. / ...Judge Robertson has overwhelmingly defeated Philip Banks. / I hate L.A.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Well, once when I was a kid I zipped my pants up too fast... let's just say this brings back old memories.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "So tell me, are you free for dinner tonight?", "c": ["Trevor Collins"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Look, my father just lost an election. I mean, I'm not totally insensitive. / How about tomorrow? / Great.", "c": ["Hilary", "Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Damn! Uncle Phil, I got your back. Well, I got like half your back 'cause your back's like...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Carl... / I thought I was Carl. / I'm Philip. / And I am the walrus.", "c": ["Carlton", "Philip", "Robertson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "There goes Philip Banks... the biggest sap that ever lived. What a stooge.", "c": ["Judge Robertson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Really? And what would that be? A buffet?", "c": ["Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "And I'll tell you another thing, if you don't like it, man, you can drop dead.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, he's dead. / Come on, man, if I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, he's dead. / Come on, man, if I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?", "c": ["Will", "Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Well, Will, you really knocked them dead the other night, huh? / Don't get him mad, Mom. You don't want to make him raise his voice.", "c": ["Hilary", "Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Don't get him mad, Mom. You don't want to make him raise his voice.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "I did it last week, it's the Terminator's turn.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Simple. Thanks to the Grim Reaper over here... and Judge Robertson taking the old dirt nap...", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "The phone's dead, Will.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Look, I think I know how to help Will. This calls for tough love. We've gotta draw him out. We've gotta bait him, confront him... attack him until he defends himself.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Look, I think I know how to help Will. This calls for tough love.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Will, you should be ashamed of yourself. How could you do such a thing? Hope you never get mad at me.", "c": ["Carlton", "Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Why are y'all screaming at me? I was minding my damn business eating some fruit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Well, I could be wrong.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "You won't believe this. They want me to give the eulogy at Judge Robertson's funeral. / Philip, you know, I really hate to speak ill of the dead... but if that little man hadn't died I would have killed him myself.", "c": ["Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Philip, you know, I really hate to speak ill of the dead... but if that little man hadn't died I would have killed him myself.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Philip, any chance of getting those flowers after the funeral? / Sit down, Vivian.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "He was a judge. A judge named Carl. But he was more. So much more. Carl... He wasn't a very heavy man.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "The jerk sentenced me to six months in jail for a crime I didn't commit. I'm just here to make sure he dead.", "c": ["Funeral attendee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "The jerk sentenced me to six months in jail for a crime I didn't commit. I'm just here to make sure he dead.", "c": ["Funeral attendee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "With him it was just a bunch of... sex all the time, like dating Thumper.", "c": ["Robertson's mistress"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "When you gonna bring your sister around?", "c": ["Robertson's mistress quoting Robertson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "The man's idea of sweet talk was: 'When you gonna bring your sister around?'", "c": ["Funeral attendee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "I'm the dude that killed him.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "And hell is like the Valley.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "I think we're all damn lucky Hilary has a job.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "What do you think, Daddy? / I think we're all damn lucky Hilary has a job. / Thanks, Daddy.", "c": ["Hilary", "Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "I think we're all damn lucky Hilary has a job.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "See, it's like I can have a leg in one hand and a breast in the other.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "See, it's like I can have a leg in one hand and a breast in the other.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "I think I must have been very bad in a previous life.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Why are y'all screaming at me? I was minding my damn business eating some fruit. / You screamed at me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Why are y'all screaming at me? I was minding my damn business eating some fruit. You screamed at me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Well, I could be wrong. / What in the hell did you just do with your lips?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Asses To Ashes"}, {"t": "Really? I hadn't noticed.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "You people don't pay me enough for this.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Then you couldn't possibly feel me do this.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Honey, I'm home. Hey, Lucy.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Yeah, and George Bush is really looking forward to playing with his grandchildren.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "But I bet you do, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Good, Aunt Vivian. Good, Aunt Vivian. Here, beg for a Scooby Snack.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "I don't know, Aunt Viv. Seem to me all that heavy breathing is what got you in this mess in the first place.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Still hurts.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. Come on, Aunt Viv. Now this is the most straight-up, honest dude I know. The day that he lies to you, may all my hair fall out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, is my hairline receding?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Freeze, bubble-butt!", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Good answer, Admiral Stockdale.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Pop a Midol.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Sorry, homework. - Tennis lesson. I just don't want to.", "c": ["Hilary", "Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Look, Aunt Viv, if I was one of your kids... I'd be short with a square head...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Well, that's cool. Go, Vivian. Get busy, have a baby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Man, she is all that. She's fine. She's one of The Fat Boys.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, can you do me a favor? I have not seen my feet since Lent. Can you tell me, do my shoes match? No. Damn.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "No, he's in Mexico. - On vacation? No, on his secretary. But don't worry, he's not having a good time. I filled his thong with BenGay.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "You're the Danny Mitchell? Wait, hold it. I heard Charles Barkley on the radio talking about... him and Danny was gonna rumble in the parking lot... after the Laker game. He won't show up, that wuss.", "c": ["Will", "Danny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "You need some help there, Danny? - Why, you got a forklift?", "c": ["Will", "Danny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "No, you don't. You just don't want to sleep on the couch, Philip. I hate sleeping on that thing. It's all lumpy.", "c": ["Vivian", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "It doesn't sound miraculous. It sounds yucky.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "You should have thought about that seven months ago... before that second bottle of wine, Philip.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Are they always like this? - No, sometimes they fight.", "c": ["Danny", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "It was hype. Like, Worthy passes to Vlade. Vlade back to Byron Scott. Byron Scott back to Vlade. Vlade gets the ball back to Worthy. Worthy gets it, stuffs, pop. The Lakers win the game!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "You know what the high point of the game was for me, huh? What? When you punched Jack Nicholson in the nose for touching your stomach?", "c": ["Will", "Danny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Indigestion. I guess I shouldn't have had that third chili dog, huh?", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "My water broke. That's cool. We got another one, right here in the fridge.", "c": ["Danny", "Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "I just had the car cleaned. Can't you hold it for a couple of hours?", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Hey, I have feelings, you know.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "It's kind of like trying to squeeze Della Reese out of a Hyundai!", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. They're 10 seconds apart. You're having a baby. You think?", "c": ["Will", "Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Well, I hope you're all happy. Now I'm gonna have a big, ugly, red circle in the middle of my forehead. I'll look just like Carlton's yearbook picture.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "I'm going through all this in the back of a limo... because of what went on in the back of my Jeep.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Wow, I got to get me a Jeep.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "I don't want to drink it. I want you to smack me over the head with it! - What? - Just until I pass out.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "This baby's on its way, and I think it's bringing luggage.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "If I run really fast... I can get back to the Forum and have my baby on the floor... of a ladies' room with some dignity.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "I broke a nail. What the hell do you think?", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "I was looking for a doctor, and I found an M.D. License plate. I yanked the guy out of his car, and then I realized M.D. Stands for Mike Ditka.", "c": ["Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "I got to make a phone call. I suddenly miss my mother.", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Focus? I don't want to focus. I want drugs! Now, get out in that parking lot and score!", "c": ["Danny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Danny, think of it as the World Series, all right? All right, Alomar is rounding third. Here comes the throw. - Slide, Danny, slide.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "You want to hold him? No. No, thanks. I'll wait till somebody run him through a car wash or something.", "c": ["Doctor", "Danny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Get busy. Put your thing down. It's your birthday.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "As you know, Will, I have a separation in my lower lumbar area... and the couch is perfect to align my... - She threw you out, huh? You got that right.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "I really want to be in the room when you give birth. Not just because you want me there... but because I want to be the first person our baby sees upside down.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "But because I want to be the first person our baby sees upside down.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "But, I'm afraid, honey, that I'm gonna have to kill you, anyway.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The"}, {"t": "Way to go, Arnold Schwarzenegro.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know. I don't see what attracted her to you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Maybe you should go to bed.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Oh, good, a floor show.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "If it's a boy, it's blue.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Hilary's not planning on having kids, is she?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Now this is exactly why the doctor changed his number on us, Vivian.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "See, this is the same dude that said a squirrel ate that six-pack of Milky Ways.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "I got dressed all by myself this morning.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Now, this friend of mine knows this squaw that he's completely in love with, right? But this particular squaw just broke up with his best friend.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Word up.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "No. Let's just say he's two olives short of a martini.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "I'll rock your world.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "And I'd feel a lot better if you'd wash your own underthings.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Like one hell of a night in Tijuana.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "At least she offered me $200.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Maybe I should just find out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "We might have to pull an all nighter.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Maybe you're on to something.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Paula. You're right. I hope that doesn't happen tonight.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "No, I don't know nothing. I'm just a poor black man trying to make it in Bel-Air.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Most girls don't give you nothing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Get out of the house.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "You know, we're getting more and more like the Jackson family every day.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "You want to start paying rent? I can be out in an hour.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Yes, Ashley, it means she's having a better week.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "I mean, come on, he thinks X is the movie about Malcolm-Jamal Warner's fight for freedom.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Very funny, guys. Why don't you stop spinning?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "That'd feel kind of good right now.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Yeah, so was I. No, see, you don't know about it. See, you ain't hip to it, right? In Philly, we name our food, right? See, like cheesecake is Paula, right? And a Snack Pack is Boomshika.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "I can't see him. You can. Is he buying it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "I did it to save you from something terrible. As soon as I figure it out, I'll let you know what it is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Carlton, who are you calling? Your mother.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "So it's okay to steal a guy's girlfriend as long as you don't go tell his mommy about it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Even in ancient times, they would kill your cattle, they would burn your village, and they would stone your family, but they wouldn't never tell your mother, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "It was Halloween. You still haven't returned my bustier.", "c": ["Carlton", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Look like you spending the evening with Little Richard.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "She has parents? She never introduced me to her parents. She told me they were dead.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Man, nice, firm mattress, just like the one at Paula's house.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "and over, and over...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Why don't you look like one?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Whatever you say. [Throws remote hard] Go get it. Make me.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Make me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Philip, honey, at least take off the foil.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Hi, this is Hilary. Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not in so... so leave a...", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "First, I'd nibble on your left ear, then I'd bite you on your neck. Then I'd... Oops. There's my other line.", "c": ["Paula"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Yeah, what are you going to do? Jump up and bang your head against it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "You're gonna go play on the freeway?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "I told her you had tuberculosis.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "You told her about Binky? I'll kill you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Well, I told her you worship Satan.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Well, I told her you worship Satan.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Well, I told her you shave your legs.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "You know that funky smell coming from the basement? Psych.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "this stuff kind of tastes like dry wall with raisins in it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "you really shouldn't wear silk no more 'cause, like, when big folks wear silk...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "I'm bloody sick of the two of you going through my drawers.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "You mean this isn't oatmeal?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "Congratulations, you're having a Hilary.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "It's the little chocolate Easter bunny!", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "The Cold War"}, {"t": "It's round, it's rubber and you'll never use it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Carlton, can we please keep your hand puppet out of this?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Look, it's a California's driver's license. I think you're confused, Will. You need a license to drive a car, not steal one.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Carlton, I didn't understand you, I don't speak pygmy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "No. I hate family reunions. I always do all the work.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Would you pick me up a gallon of Rocky Road and some sardines.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "And don't eat it all on the way home like you did last time.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "I'm guessing, the guy with no rhythm.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "You mean Carlton?", "c": ["Someone"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "That's 'cause she be spending a lot of time in front of the microwave.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Well, you certainly have the pants for it.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, if I would have said that I would have gotten smacked in my head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Now that's the first time a man has smiled at me since my divorce.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "But I don't like to badmouth him without the kid around. You know, it's like doing the work twice.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Yeah, like I really want some old lady's snot rag.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Maybe she got cable.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Although, he's not a brother. I mean he is a brother... because he's my brother, but he's just not your kind of brother.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Oh, brother.", "c": ["Someone"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "No, I think I'm going to stick with the black folks on this one.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "What kind of car he want to get me, Mom?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Sir, when she's not looking, break one of her crystal figurines. It'll work wonders for your attitude.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "That does it, I'm getting me a white man.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "No, just to help around the house a little bit.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Now, come on, you know you all were thinking it.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "A horny husband.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Hey, call me Will, man. What you say, you take me down to one of them dance clubs... you all be going to.", "c": ["Al"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Never mind, boy, I thought you was hip. Get on out of my house.", "c": ["Al"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "It ain't nobody, Mama. Get your big old butt back in here then.", "c": ["Al"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Lord, who'd of thought he'd shoot up 12 inches... in his freshman year.", "c": ["Vy"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Because I'm a 72-year-old man still living with his mother.", "c": ["Al"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Can I have $10 to go to the movies?", "c": ["Al"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Damn, got to use more dynamite next time.", "c": ["Al's Mom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "I swear that man's part jackhammer.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Well, I guess you old enough to remember.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I'm still young enough to kick your butt.", "c": ["Aunt"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Personally, I prefer eating. You don't have to wait an hour for seconds.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Can we just for once have a conversation without my name being mentioned?", "c": ["Tina Turner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "No, but I wish you would.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Apparently, I gave you the impression that I really wanted to know.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Okay, Vivian, I told him everything you wanted me to... now give me my piece of pie.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "I love them, take me. Take me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Well, you smell like broccoli.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Well, you smell like broccoli.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Look what the wind did to my hat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "And whatever else of them holidays... it'd take to get that evil look out your face.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Sir, when she's not looking, break one of her crystal fusiliers.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "They must got them in London.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Mommy Nearest"}, {"t": "Locate the black queen, and I don't mean Little Richard", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Okay, Carlton, you're pretty good for a white guy", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Zagnut, Goobers, Good & Plenty, locate the black girl, you win $20", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Well, there goes Saturday night at Sizzler. I had coupons, too", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Didn't realize you were such a coward. Chicken", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "See, if it was like you, you'd have won, but it red, so you lost", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "He fell for it, Will. Now let's go hustle Dad", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "In Bel-Air we call them 'words'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "What a coincidence, your first short story and your first short son in the same room", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Okay, somebody bury this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I don't know about that, Uncle Phil. Remember them plaid shorts you wore last summer?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Yes, women is a trip, Uncle Phil. It's just like, let's say... you accidentally scream out the wrong name... and they jumping all out the back of your car like that", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Buy her a car and hope she forgets all about this", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Now you're a sandwich", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Wait a second, that is what life is like", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Wait a second, that is what life is like.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "That's an easy one. 'Creamy on the inside, smooth on the outside'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, at least I don't fit in one", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Ngo Dinh Diem", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I say we call Immigration", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "How sad. Some people will do anything for money. I mean, why don't they just ask their fathers?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "And might I add, ha ha! And, ha!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I mean, it's either this or force him to listen to Yoko Ono albums", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Trust me, the only thing your mother should write is checks", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Hey! I don't care how much money you got, brother, you ain't gonna... What's going on in here?", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Ah, the cheap stuff. Not to worry, Phil", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "your Montrose vase... attracts dust like a magnet", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Do the family a favor, get Viv some cooking lessons", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Vroom, vroom, vroom", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "No, I'm gonna beg like Keith Sweat", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I'm buying the O'Jays", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Like this: 'Goodbye'", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Yes! Well, some things never change", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "You used my own ruse against me. How I admire you. Die!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "You catch on quickly, you little twit", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Look, I don't know about you, man, but I'm going to take this TV right here", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I know I am, Dad", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I mean, you know me, I don't even have a sense of humor", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "A joke I had nothing to do with, Dad. I mean, you know me, I don't even have a sense of humor.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I don't know, forget the whole thing and get us a couple Jet Skis", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I don't know, forget the whole thing and get us a couple Jet Skis.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "And, I'm a judge. I can make it happen", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "You know, really, I don't mind the yelling. But does he have to spit?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "This happens all the time. They think I'm Bryant Gumbel.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Are you the guy from Webster?", "c": ["Random person"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I told you it was the guy from Diff'rent Strokes", "c": ["Another person"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, the urinals need mints. Move it", "c": ["Restaurant boss"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Who am I? You hear... Who am I? I'm a black man with a short fuse", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Yeah, how do you think Carlton feels when he changes into his gym shorts?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Yeah, how do you think Carlton feels when he changes into his gym shorts? That's a very small humiliation.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "You promise?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "She only had one arm... and when you would go to concerts, she clapped like this", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "He knows we can't afford any bigger clothes so he just doesn't grow", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "Daddy, I want to grow.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "He's never even been on a roller coaster for God's sakes", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "He's never even been on a roller coaster for God's sakes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "We love you, Dad. All right. I'll come back home. Daddy's coming home. Thank you, Daddy.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I'm crazy about you, girl.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Winner Takes Off"}, {"t": "I mean, I had to sell half your coin collection just to buy it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Will, seek help.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "The honeys might get a little nervous if they see me with a midget.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Oh, really? Well, I got ten spankies here that said you're going to the beach.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "They lied.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "How thrilling for you!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "I could very easily rip out your heart, eat it, and then have a cappuccino.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Hallmark couldn't have put it any better.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Me, too, but I still get things done.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "You paid for your own dinner.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Now, if anyone asks, I'm 21 and I fought in Desert Storm.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "You know, Uncle Phil, if we're lucky, she'll come back as Clair Huxtable.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Look, a black Howdy Doody.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "If it's your nose, I think I know where you left it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Ed, do you want me to get you some knee pads?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Dear Mr. Banks, how can I put this? Your wife is crazy, and you're cheap. L quit, adios, Hector.", "c": ["Hector (via note)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Even Aladdin only got three wishes.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Your pop had a bit of a drinking problem though, didn't he?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "A gentleman would at least give me dinner first.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Hey, Jamal, why don't you offer him this Kit Kat--", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Girl, you look so good, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you all.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Kong not happy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Word? That's kind of fly, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Yo, Uncle Judge.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Yo, Uncle Judge.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Love you, too, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "I can get 300 spankies for this. $225, tops. I tried selling it yesterday.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "And could you pick up my dress from the dry cleaner's?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "While you're at it, could you type up your thoughts on the industrial revolution? You know, double space it and put my name on it?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "The pen? Please tell me that's slang for the Valley.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I've got to make myself look less attractive.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I've got to make myself look less attractive. I know, I'll put on something of Mom's.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "You know, Hilary, I don't even think it's possible for you to be prettier than you thought.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "But, what could you possibly have of any value?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Where's my Willie? Carlton, I can't find my Willie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Where's my Willie? Carlton, I can't find my Willie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "If it looks like a duck, smells like a duck and sounds like a duck, what is it? Your prom date?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "I told you, she had a cold.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "I told you, she had a cold.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Hey, Luther, you dropped your wallet. No, that's yours.", "c": ["Carlton", "Luther"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "So it is. How honest of you to say so.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "The word is 'idiot,' man. Can't you see he's innocent?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "about them calls you been making to 1-900-HORNY.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Maybe Luther took all our stuff to get it Scotchgarded.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "My Tevin Campbell posters. If he touched them, I'll hunt him down like a dog.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "I can't breathe.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "If you had let me go to the beach, then none of this would have never happened.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Luther's in the house. Yeah, you're right. Dig me with my bad self, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Yeah, if this wall weren't in my way, mister, you'd be plenty sorry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Damn, that was fast. You know, they must have thought we was white folks.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "The man is obviously a deviant.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "The man is obviously a deviant.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Yeah, don't work for you.", "c": ["Luther"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Yeah, but he took Will's baseball. You mean the one in the plastic case? I borrowed it for batting practice.", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Somebody wrote all over it. But, don't worry, I cleaned it off for you.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Really, didn't look like it. Somebody wrote all over it. But, don't worry, I cleaned it off for you.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "baseball game where man with stick hit ball and run. Sort of like this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "See, baseball game where man with stick hit ball and run. Sort of like this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Robbing The Banks"}, {"t": "Y ou know, I used to think the only reason to kill a man was self-defense... but I just spent 45 minutes in the Volvo with another reason.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "This idiot is taking a mime class.", "c": ["Unknown family member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Carlton performing mime actions while Will threatens him", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "A mime is a terrible thing to waste.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Some of us more than others.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "And this is your mommy... and she look like she eating for a couple of brothers herself.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Y ou know, I was going to knit some booties or something... but you know, I had to get yarn... and needles and... I'd have had to learn how to knit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Will, I'm eating. - Y ou'll hear a lot of that. - Y ou're grounded.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Okay, that about sums up Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Y ou're sick, man. See a therapist, okay?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Care to elaborate? - A lot.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Don't feel bad. She just mad 'cause she found out she ain't adopted.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Bungee jumping.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Hey, I move all the time. Let's have a party.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "What do I have to do, spit up on your shirt?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Y'all hear something? Y eah, how about me screaming at the top of my lungs?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "That little girl who used to hang out around here. Pretty little thing. Black hair. - Amanda. Ashley. - Or was it Anna? - No. Ashley.", "c": ["Phil", "Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure it was Appalonia.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Now, here come your two eldest siblings, Dopey and Greedy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "No, man, for my money, classic musical comedy: Milli Vanilli.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "The whiner.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Shut up, Carlton. - Good call.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Like when you took me up to the attic window... and told me I could fly? Or when you told me it was okay to roller skate down the steps.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Judging by your lovely brothers and sisters... you're going to need an insurance policy before you're potty trained.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Mom's 50 years old and you haven't pushed her out the door.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Aren't you forgetting something, baby sister? - You're prettier than I'll ever be. - Something else.", "c": ["Hilary", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "So, tell me about your day at school... and move a little to the left.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Y ou poor baby. Use the other arm.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Oh, goody, a shoeshine kit.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Can I put the fan down first? - This time. It is your birthday.", "c": ["Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "A spit polish. I meant on the shoes.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Maybe I'd just be better off being invisible. - I'm sorry, what'd you say, Ash?", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Y ou'll recognize him, he'll be the one at eye-level.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Two birds! Two birds!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "I remember something about twins... and I have this incredible urge for a sausage.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "We'll have to split the inheritance four ways... thanks to Forget-the-pill Phil.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Now, you can finally have the son you always wanted.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Preferably a young nanny... amply endowed, with no inhibitions.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "An explanation. - Mid-life crisis.", "c": ["Vivian", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Geoffrey is so lazy.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "The baby's.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Calgon, take me away!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "He pretends he doesn't like the family... but deep down inside he really hates us.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Will, we're talking about kids, not malt liquor.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Why don't you shut up before we send you back... to that white family that dropped you off on the doorstep?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Will's perfect family fantasy sequence", "c": ["Will", "Fantasy Wife", "Fantasy Kids"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Today we shot La Toya Jackson. And I had to keep turning the lights off 'cause she was melting.", "c": ["Fantasy Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Hey, Shaquille, Barkley, Jordan.", "c": ["Fantasy Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "What are hoops?", "c": ["Fantasy Kid"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Y ou, you, you! Why must everything always be about you?", "c": ["Fantasy Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "I want a girl with extensions in her hair... and bamboo earrings, at least two pair.", "c": ["Fantasy Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Last time we sat around like this is when they reran Roots.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Hey, it's a cruel world, big guy... and you're not going to be in it forever.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Zip-a-dee, and might I add doo-dah!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Okay, but I'm not sitting between you and the dessert cart. Last time I almost lost an eye.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Why don't we just go eat out of a dumpster?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Where'd everybody go?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Geoffrey's rant about Will's sneakers and women", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bundle Of Joy"}, {"t": "Oh, baby, you all that and a bag of chips!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm lying, I'm dying, you know what I'm saying?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "whatever it is that you serving... you better give me a double!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "I was just playing. You know how I be joking. I be joking.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Man, something smells good. Oh, wait, that's me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "I don't smell anything. Oh, that's funny. It's a lot lighter than it was when I put it on.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "six or seven hours later, we'll come back down again", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "You don't know what I'm saying.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Well, you know how I'm always borrowing your things? Well, you don't have to worry about this one.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "To the restaurant. Le... Chez... Mc...", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "I'm guessing they're not for me. I haven't put out in years.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Not anymore.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, you lied to your woman.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "My man, give it up top.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Jean-Claude Van... Damn, I'm fine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Oh, if you need me, I'll be dodging winos at the bus station.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "I told him I was going to church.", "c": ["Monique"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "The Lord is good.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "And I ain't even oiled up yet, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Maybe you'd like to go upstairs and I could do my stand-up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Now, why waste time going upstairs? See, this way whenever you pass the couch, you'll think of me.", "c": ["Monique"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Maybe I could get some memories of you in the kitchen and the Jacuzzi, too.", "c": ["Monique"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Watch yourself, girl.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Mama knows, child.", "c": ["Monique"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Look, Monique, I'd love to talk, but there ain't no blood in my brain.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "No nookie last night?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Let's see, a week from Friday, it will be 18 years.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Oh, cars!", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Oh, God, this car isn't in trouble, is it?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Never been off the lot as far as I can tell.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "then you throw a rod, you flood your carburetor, you crack your block", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "No sex before marriage.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "I've been doing that since the '80s. It don't work no more.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "I know I'm talking to teenage hormones from hell", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "We both mens here, you know? We got ugly needs.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "and for the republic in which it stands", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Get busy.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Hey. This is God's crib. Take that in the street where it belongs.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Any minute now that minister's going to realize his house ain't on fire.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Granted, my brother, we're good, but people can still see us.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "we only got 18 hours left before checkout.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "These damn buttons. You got some scissors, girl?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Girl, be gentle.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Honey, I meant for the rest of our lives.", "c": ["Monique"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Yeah, come on, baby, let's get naked. This thing open from the back or the front?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "What a coincidence 'cause there's something I want to give you, too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Thanks, a little box.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Oh, damn!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Sorry, Grampy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "You know, my child, I've never known the pleasures of the flesh... but I could be convinced to give up the priesthood for you.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Don't go away baby. Bartender, another Olde English for the lady.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Now, get a bottle of whiskey, liquor that girl up... and take advantage of her. Be a man for God's sake.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Well, to be honest, my wife took it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Will and Monique stole a Mercedes, and ran over somebody's wife.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Obviously, Will has been seeing a woman named Mercedes, Monique found out... and I'm still working on the wife part.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Well, I think Will married Monique just to get her into bed... and when she found out, she got so mad she took off in Dad's Mercedes.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Get real!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "I don't know, Uncle Phil. I'm out of control. Please stop me before I disobey again.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "I'm a victim. I'm a victim of my imagination.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "You know, that's radical, Uncle Phil, but it just might work.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Be afraid, Will. Be very afraid.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "I got that effect on women, you know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "The Best Laid Plans"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Will, I made breakfast. / Damn, I'm full. Couldn't eat another bite.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Come on, Will. I know what I'm doing. Remember, I was a professional caterer.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "And you still would be if you hadn't poisoned those nuns.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "The autopsy was inconclusive.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "These eggs aren't bad. / What's the crunchy stuff? / Great, you found my contact.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "And the guy getting slapped by the girl? / That's Clarence Thomas.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "My dining club's what made me the man I am today. / No, that's too easy.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "If you don't know which seat is his... it'll be the one with the legs all bent out up from under it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Come on, I gave you a free one earlier.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "You gotta be facing somebody's butt to do this handshake?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "If they was looking for a few good Pygmies, you'd have been a shoe in.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "there's no one at Bel-Air Prep that comes close to having my grades... or my willingness to flatter authority figures... without a thought to personal dignity.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "By the way, you look really great in denim.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Man, I tell you, you ain't got to worry about me applying... to no old Bugie or Muffy and Biffo... chicken-head old kind of...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Will, the standards of the Jim-Bob School of Trucking are pretty darn high.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Simple, I'm here to pick up the shattered pieces of your self-esteem... to nourish you in your hour of defeat.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Because when I come out of here a broken man... you wanna be the first person to rub my nose in it? / No, I'm really here for you, Will. / Then why did you bring a video camera?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Mr. Will Smith. / Yo. / 'Yo'?", "c": ["Interviewer", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Well, actually, I wanna go to Sea World, but is Princeton along the way?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "You're funny. / We frown on that at Princeton.", "c": ["Will", "Ed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Unless one counts detention, in which case you lead the league.", "c": ["Ed"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "But my jacket is a fashion miracle, though, isn't it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "And your hat is on backwards. / We frown on that at Princeton. / Y'all frown on a lot of stuff at Princeton.", "c": ["Ed", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Princeton has some of the most intelligent young women in the country. / There's no way I would make a crass generalization about such a diverse group. / Any cute honeys? / No.", "c": ["Ed", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Will solves the Rubik's cube", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Peace out, E-Money.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "I don't know, the size of Barry White's hot tub.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "I'm guessing that one wasn't Madonna.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "I told him about the hood back in Philly. And he told me about some stuff called Spam.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Did my lips say Volvo? My lips meant to say Jag.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Yo, what's up?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "You don't have to call me Mr. Banks. My posse calls me Rap Master C.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Rap Master is my name. Ask me again and I'll tell you the same.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Didn't mean to dis you, can I get you a tissue?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Let me teach you how to vogue. Strike a pose.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Mr. Banks, are you on some sort of medication?", "c": ["Ed"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, at this time... Princeton doesn't accept the clinically insane.", "c": ["Ed"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "See where Princeton comes in? Right after 'lose virginity.'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "You know, my sister Hilary's not bad-looking and after two drinks or so... she'll do just about anything", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Big friends with lots of body hair and mozzarella on their breath. Capisce?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Because Carlton doesn't have any friends... and I'll have to dance with him.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "you big poopy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "'Cause I don't say stuff like 'big poopy'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "No offense, Tom, but I always thought my guardian angel would be black.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Well, I knew Otis Redding.", "c": ["Tom Jones"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "But I could probably pull some strings and have you moved opposite Roseanne.", "c": ["Tom Jones"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "'Good morning'? You sure you don't mean, 'Die, you gravy-sucking pig'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Go easy on him, Uncle Phil. He's a moron.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "I could never like Will. Well, I mean, I like him... Wait a minute, here I am lying to you.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "There's no need to be cruel.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "The Alma Matter"}, {"t": "Do I look like Roc? I don't know, Carlton, maybe if you shaved your head bald... and sanded down the square part.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Because I'm bigger than you. See, that's not fair. That's only 'cause you got them shoe lifts in today.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "They're not lifts. I doubled up on my Odor-Eaters.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "You know, those things you hit every time you back out the car.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Thank God. I thought it was the neighbor's kids.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Well, just pretend it's buying you dinner afterwards.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "And for your information, dinner comes first.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Good morning, Will. Good morning, Uncle Phil. Here's your lunch.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Actually, sir, I have an impacted wisdom tooth... my hair is falling out, and I have a bunion the size of my fist. Oh, no. We're out of Mrs. Butterworth's. Thanks for the talk, big guy.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Hey, look, any chance of you letting me balance this book on your head?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Hey, you know I was gonna put the waffles up there... but that's just a little too close to your mouth, you know what I mean?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "I mean, between my school work and Cindy... and, you know, my job and Cindy... and, you know, basketball and Cindy... Wow, you think I'm neglecting Cindy?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "It's nice to know that all my labors haven't gone unnoticed. I was talking to Will. And I, apparently, was talking to myself.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Well, judging by the size of that thing, you must be going out with Nell Carter.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Girl, anybody ever told you that you got the... Thanks, I'll try not to let it go to my head.", "c": ["Will", "Cindy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "I'm planning on staying up all night, you know... 'cause \"all I want to do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom.\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "\"Smith dribbles. He stops. He pops. He scores. The crowd goes wild!\"", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "No, that's all right. I don't think... listening to Bruce Springsteen got the same effect on black people.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "My breath ain't stinking, so I'm guessing them ain't Tic Tacs.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "To me, it's just freeze-dried coffee, just in case. Just in case.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "I just want to thank Bill and Hillary Clinton... for inviting me to the inauguration.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "I just want to thank Bill and Hillary Clinton... for inviting me to the inauguration.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "also known as \"guaranteed action night.\"", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "G, it's coffee. No, it's Folgers Crystals.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "You see the volcano-sized pimple about to erupt on my forehead... and you don't think vitamin E is strong enough... This sex thing is even more complicated than I thought.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "This sex thing is even more complicated than I thought.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Yo, man, I'm just sharing a limo with you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "No, man, she's just looking for loose change.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Somebody call a cop, 'cause it got to be illegal to look that good.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Girl, don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "No, shoot me from the other side. I've got a situation on my forehead.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Come on, we'll be home early. Early tomorrow morning.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Hey, yo, I'm telling you, this is gonna be the most exciting night of our lives.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Stare at hers. Yeah, to go along with the biggest zit of your life.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "you can just pull your big ol' bottom lip up over your head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "How about \"I'm going home\"? Now that's the jam. Tell me when he puts that on.", "c": ["Cindy", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Even though I was feeling insecure before, I realized it doesn't matter, anyway... 'cause beauty's only skin deep. It's what's inside that counts. Vanessa, you drive me wild. I hope this night never ends. Is it just me or are my lips moving really, really fast?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Is it just me or are my lips moving really, really fast?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "I guess he's got that kind of natural speed thing going. Yeah, you can say that again.", "c": ["Cindy", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "I'll go to Church every Sunday. I'll even give up women. Will, was that you? You know I was just kidding about that woman part, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Last thing I remember, I was doing the running man... to I Will Always Love You.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "What could be worse than finding out I'm still a virgin? It was speed. Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict and a virgin!", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict and a virgin!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "We still have to mix his aspirin in with applesauce.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Just say you didn't inhale.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Just say you didn't inhale.", "c": ["Nurse Irene"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Do I? / Can we stick to the subject, please?", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Hell, I've been from Yale to jail, and from Park Avenue to park bench... but now I'm clean and sober. That's really touching... but do you think you can get me a nurse without a record?", "c": ["Patient", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "As a matter of fact, I think this is the one and only time.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Honey, I don't think we can both fit in that bed. Right, and a chair for my wife.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "I didn't get much sleep last night with all that kicking.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot for covering for me, man. But why did you do it? I don't know. I think I was still high.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot for covering for me, man. But why did you do it? I don't know. I think I was still high.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Hey, I've got a wild side. I don't always wear shower shoes at the gym.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "You haven't showered yet today, have you?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "I can't take this, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Somebody call a cop 'cause it has got to be... Somebody call a cop 'cause this has... you'll get it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "Welcome to the Will Fresh Prince Ever Say His Line contest.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Just Say Yo"}, {"t": "That ain't what's scaring me. You ain't got no drawers on!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Hilary, you circle the wagons.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Will, honey, what are you talking about? / I wish to God I knew, Aunt Viv.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Carlton, honey, get up off the floor. My hand!", "c": ["Vivian", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "I find that hard to believe. / I think we all do, Carlton.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "I mean, getting woke up in the middle of the night... by a naked man running around the house.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Not you, G. Oh, never mind.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "You think I don't? I feel like I ate a Buick.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Look like a Winnebago from here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Poor Mom? Poor me. I saw Uncle Phil naked.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "And he was running.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Perhaps if we were both younger, and I didn't work for you.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Not that kind of proposition, Geoffrey. I will give you $50 to drive me over a set of railroad tracks.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "I will give you $50 to drive me over a set of railroad tracks.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "It's rather difficult to tell just by looking.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "And whatever you do, never ever feed her after midnight.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "And whatever you do, never ever feed her after midnight.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "She snatched off the woman's wig? / No, Lester's.", "c": ["Will", "Aunt"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "She snatched off the woman's wig? No, Lester's.", "c": ["Will", "family member"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "You've all met our butler, Chicken George?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "If it get any bigger, it'll be in and out of Bel-Air at the same time.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "All right, Hilary, you act like you're gonna hug her and then pin her arms down. / I know the chokehold. / Better.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "You hate me, don't you?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "What bell?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "What bell?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "I know, and some electrolysis wouldn't hurt you, either.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "This could get ugly. We're family.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Forget college, I'm going to beauty school.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Look, if I'm not back in 20 minutes, be really happy for me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I think my water broke.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I think my water broke.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, it's Vivian. She's having the baby. / We gotta get to the hospital! / Uncle Phil... we in the hospital.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "402436, that's no phone number. / No, Uncle Phil, that's 40, 24, 36.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "That's right, boy, this is a New Jack City.", "c": ["Smoker"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "You the big man that broke the elevator.", "c": ["Smoker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Now, we're on the same train of thought.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "No, but you have really soft hands.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Ashley, you can't drive. / Grow up. I've been taking the car since I was 12. Come on.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Just kidding, a little elevator humor there.", "c": ["Maintenance Worker"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "That's right, and you don't.", "c": ["Tough Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Look, man, if you don't let me use your phone... I'm gonna start singing Paula Abdul's greatest hits.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Look, man, if you don't let me use your phone... I'm gonna start singing Paula Abdul's greatest hits.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Sir, give me that damn phone... or I'm gonna rip your liver out and eat it raw. / That's right, boy, and he about due for a snack.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Yes, sir, I'm a very, very bad butler. / In fact, I'm going to punish myself. / No phone privileges for a week.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "In fact, I'm going to punish myself. No phone privileges for a week.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Not without any teeth, you won't.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "That girl wanted me, Aunt Janice. / Carlton, when a woman says, 'Drop dead, troll...' it usually means she's not interested.", "c": ["Carlton", "Janice"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "I'm a kid. I don't know jack about insurance.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Look, this is an emergency. Do you have any mascara?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Wilma!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Look, he look like a little black yoda.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "That's a stupid name. / Why don't we name him after Daddy? Eli. / Great. / No, over my dead body. / Let's name him Rufus. / How about Brock?", "c": ["Will", "Various"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Shazam!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Wilma!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "The Baby Comes Out"}, {"t": "Alex, the question is, 'What are three things found in Uncle Phil's beard?'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Yuck! Now, I lost my appetite. Thanks a lot, Will.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "No, thank you, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "University of Nevada. Where at graduation... they don't wear their tassels on their caps, if you know what I'm saying.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "You sure are lucky, Will. Spending the weekend at a college campus with 4,000 hot coeds... and you get to bunk with Dad and Sara Lee.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Jazz, you all right, man? You got a kind of a Clark Kent-Urkel thing jumping all over you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Actually, Will, he looks like me. Well, yeah, that's what I was saying.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "I spent eight years in high school.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Here, Carlton.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "This is a list of sororities. Yes, sir, from alpha to gamma to bad Mama-Jamma.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Well, yeah, but look at you now, G.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Touch\u00e9. Did you by any chance see Murder, She Wrote last week? No. Good. Watch your back.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Look, you guys, Carlton's 18 now. I don't think we should continue to encourage that type of behavior. We're talking about the new baby.", "c": ["Hilary", "Ashley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "All right, but I draw the line at breastfeeding.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Cough up a lung? No. It's okay. I'm fine. I never felt better. Call an ambulance.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Hey, I tell you what. Come on, you can make it. There's a Dodger dog in it for you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Because I'm smarter than the average bear.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Yes, sir, Deputy Dawg.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Yes, hello, this is Tony Montana. I just saw your billboard on the highway. If you know what's good for you... you'll make me a pepperoni pizza with anchovies on it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Just look for the little, square-head guy who can just barely see over the steering wheel.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "I want you to speed up and catch up with them girls, man. That's it, mister, you're on a time-out.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Look, we're young and we're single. One of us is really handsome, the other one is you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "My job is to ruin your fun.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "And you really love your work, don't you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Well, that may be so, but whether you stop or not, I'm going in one minute.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "We ain't black. We just got back from Hawaii.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Look, you have exactly 45 seconds to get back from the bathroom. If you're not back, I'm leaving without you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Carlton, it may take you 45 seconds... but it takes a fully grown man a little while longer.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Will, I think the engine's knocking. That's not where the engine is, stupid.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Jazz, how did you get in the trunk? It was easy. Oh, by the way, you need a new lock for your garage.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "you know, hood things.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Hey, touch that handle, Granny, and you'll be pulling back a nub.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Well, considering my limited experience with foreign cars... this being the first one anyone's actually let me touch... I think it went pretty well.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Let me guess. You have a nuclear reactor in your backyard, don't you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "It's $300. There's $25 for the gas... and $275 to call Germany to find out whether it took regular or unleaded.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Well, I prefer the term 'emotionally challenged.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Well, I've only got $40 cash. You've got to take a credit card. I mean, everyone takes credit cards. What kind of hick are you? The kind that don't take credit cards.", "c": ["Carlton", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Well, between this soda can and what I got in my wallet... I'm good for a nickel.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "If you need me, I'll be at McDonald's watching the numbers change.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Can I get $40 in quarters?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "What do you say, Jazz? You turn my $30 into $300? Does James Brown use a hot comb?", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Jazz, that was our last chip, man. Don't worry, man. We got her right where we want her.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Jazz, you lost all our money, man. I thought you said you knew how to play poker. Poker? You mean this isn't Go Fish?", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Come on, baby, have a heart. I'm just a poor black man trying to get to a panty raid.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Yeah, my Studebaker broke down way back in '78. I've been working here all this time to pay it off.", "c": ["Woodrow"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Fifteen more years and you can just eat my dust.", "c": ["Woodrow"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Check it out. Look, Lola... I don't want to die here an old white man, okay?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Jazz, ain't nobody going to pay no money to see your sixth toe.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Emergency bean-pot fund.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Okay. I'm thinking of a number between one and ten. What is it? Four. Damn!", "c": ["Carlton", "Lola"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "A black king, and I don't mean Shaka Zulu.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Cherry, cherry, bell! Every time a cherry, cherry, bell!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "It just sits there taunting me. 'What's wrong, Carlton?' 'Lost your nerve, sissy boy?'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "If I apply the Vulcan death grip, and press real hard right here... I believe I can make him black out.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Look, look, Carlton. Listen, if you get in the car right now... I promise we can sing the theme to West Side Story, okay? You can be Maria.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "If I just play 9,063 more times, I know I can beat it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Buzz off, flattop.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Why don't you just get off my damn back?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "That boy put the 'E' in ignorant.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "all I keep thinking about is that little midget we left back there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Will, honestly, I don't think Ashley wanted to come along.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Then he should feel right at home.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Could luck be a lady tonight? Tramp.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Shirley Temple. Hey, no giggling when you bring it to me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Can it, steroid breath.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Hey, man, you tore my shirt. My mother bought me this shirt.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Why don't you go call your mom, have her send you a new shirt?", "c": ["Bo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Well, I mean, I wasn't suggesting me specifically.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Look, the time comes when a man has to take responsibility... and fight his own battles. And I'll let you know when the time comes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "How good are you at faking seizures?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Just take the keys, start the engine. I'm going to bite him and jump in the car.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Let's get busy. I ain't got all night. Nightline is on in two minutes.", "c": ["Bo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Anybody got any kryptonite in the house?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "We brothers, man. This is crazy. I mean, we shouldn't be out here about to fight over a couple quarters.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "And if you want to be the brother that casts the first stone for the degradation of the entire race... then you go right ahead.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Will, for a little while, I was living on the edge. I, Carlton Banks, recording secretary of the audio visual squad... was gambling, swearing, and staying up really, really late.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Quick, open the back window. Yo, for what, man? I'm going to moon Nevada.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Will. This is my lucky day.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "I knew your butt was going to get us in trouble, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "You Bet Your Life"}, {"t": "Look, I was thinking, you know, this week, maybe we could... get in a game of tennis at the club and maybe do lunch? - You and me? - Yeah. Good one, Daddy.", "c": ["Hilary", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Needy father alert.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "What we're saying is, here's $10. Go to the movies. Run!", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Dad's pretty quick for a big guy. I mean, he kept up with the car for a whole block.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "He couldn't help it. He got his coat stuck in the door.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Wow, Will, clean clothes. What, is your probation officer stopping by?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I think I speak for all of us when I say, 'So what?'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "And I think I speak for myself when I say, 'Uncle Phil, they in here!'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Well, see, I was wondering, since I'm not part of the immediate family... I was wondering if I was immune... Sit down, Will.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "I'm gonna sit down right here... in the non-immediate family section of the living room. And I'm gonna shut up on my way down. Watch.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Now, you listen, and you listen good. We are a family. I know this because I pay the bills.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Jawohl, mein Fuehrer!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "and I'll think of a few more things as soon as I finish watching those Cosby reruns.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "I love my work. Excuse me, I need to call my therapist.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Look, Uncle Phil, please, if you let Keith stay here... I promise I'll stop making them 976 calls on your car phone.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Okay, if you let him stay... I'll take you to Chuck E. Cheese and I'll tell the head rat it's your birthday.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "I'll go to an out-of-state college. Keith, my boy, welcome.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Sound like what black people buy when they got too much time on their hands.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "From the time we was in kindergarten, every thing we did... I always beat you like you stole something.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Kind of like you just beat me now, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Telling jokes... See, that's what your drunk Uncle Lou do at weddings.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "He has an inner ear problem. That's why he always be sliding out of his chair.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "All your life you just been funny-looking.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "I mean, look at them big old ears. Lean over that way and tell me what's going on in Somalia.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Well, if I couldn't find my way to Somalia, I could follow that big map on your head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Look at them big teeth, all big and spaced out. What you floss with, a jump rope?", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "I think you going to have to pay me to laugh at that one, bro.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "I'm off duty. You can talk, but I don't have to listen.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Two gorillas go into a bar, right? - Not.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Hey, girl... you look so good, I'd marry your brother just to get in your family.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Yo, man, you see that? That's called the I-want-Will walk.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Hey, girl! Why don't you stand up and wrap your arms around a real man?", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.16, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Excuse me, miss, is this abrasive Negro bothering you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Now, you look here, buddy. You have no business bothering this sweet young lady. Now you apologize and don't make me take off my belt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Not the belt, man. I'll be cool.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "You. - Me? - You a comic? I don't know you. Yeah, I'm known all over this town. I'm Shecky. Shecky Shabazz.", "c": ["Club Owner", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Yabba dabba do, I'm in the showcase, too!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "It's wonderful spending time with one's family. - Daddy. - Yes, dearest? I'm feeling nauseous.", "c": ["Phil", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "I am, too. Let's take a break, kids.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Maybe I should have just sent you to Camp Funnypants.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "I bet Sinbad's parents supported him when he wanted to be a comedian.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "They named him Sinbad! He had two options: Pirate or comic.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, this thing is bigger than both of us. Sort of.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, this thing is bigger than both of us. Sort of.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "This ain't nothing but a joke to you. To me this is serious.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Did you hear what the snail said when he rode on the back of the turtle? - No, Carlton, what? Whee!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Why did the turkey cross the road? - I know I'm going to regret this, but why? - Chicken's day off.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Why did the turkey cross the road? - I know I'm going to regret this, but why? Chicken's day off.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "See, Carlton, this is why people trip you in the halls.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "I went out with this girl who ain't have no arms. I took her to The Arsenio Hall Show and she was like...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "He kind of look like a miniature Bryant Gumbel on a bad hair day.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "he's so short... he just rips them off his G.I. Joe doll and wears 'em right out of the box.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "he just rips them off his G.I. Joe doll and wears 'em right out of the box.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Boo! Get off the stage! We want our money back! Go back where you came from!", "c": ["Carlton", "Hilary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "He'll be back, just not in here.", "c": ["Club Owner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "I know I ain't getting heckled by no Jheri curl.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "You know, I ain't going to bother no Jheri curl, 'cause I know that... plastic bag makes so much noise at night, you're always irritable, huh?", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Maybe I better speak to you in your language. Drip, drip, drip, drip.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "plastic bag makes so much noise at night, you're always irritable, huh? Crumple, crumple. 'I cannot sleep!'", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Sometime the phone is the best thing on the car. You could tell the car raggedy. Every time the phone ring, the car just cut off.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Black folks, we didn't know there was a recession... 'cause we been broke since the day before forever.", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "You know, had that been a black mother, she'd have been proud. Pick up the phone, call her best friend, 'Girl, turn to Channel 2. My baby's on TV!'", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "When a black man is gone, he's just gone. You don't see brothers talking about, 'Man, I just saw Marvin Gaye! He was at the mall!' 'How do you know?' 'I heard it through the grapevine.'", "c": ["Keith"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Because I heard you already died a pretty horrible death.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Amy Fisher. - Amy... - Bang!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Okay, well, I got a tip for you. Tails is out. - So are you. There's the door.", "c": ["Keith", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "So are you. There's the door.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Now, that's funny.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "Aint No Business Like Show Business"}, {"t": "Earthquake!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Exceptional buns, Geoffrey. - Thank you, sir. Yes, I think he's been doing the StairMaster.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Or 25 days ago, for that matter.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I wish I could find a guy to lie to me like that.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "G, how's he supposed to remember what he had for dinner 25 years ago?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Well, we started out with some chicken pot pie... and some delicious coleslaw. And then there was some really, really great baked beans, with, what, molasses. And for dessert, we had a big huge chunk of chocolate devil's food cake.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I'm guessing. If only that power could be used for good.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll go upstairs to try to cheer up your mother. I'm so fat! On second thought, I'll call her from the car.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Look, here's me at the beach. And here's me in my carriage. Look, and here's me at the park.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I knew we should have gotten them those Ginsu knives.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Well, that's right, y'all, and that's why I came out here... 'cause you people really need help.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Carlton Banks is wearing an elegant, yet masculine cotton-silk combination... designed by Will St. LeCarlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Say... is that Philip Banks or Blair Underwood?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I look like Little Richard, attorney at law.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "A-wop-bop-a-loo-bop, a-lop-bam-boom.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the star of Heidi Comes To Harlem.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Mom, if you make me go to school like this... I'm going to write a book when I grow up.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Welcome to the Briny Deep... where none of our prices are ever too steep. We've got fresh fish, you can look in our tank. To get to the bathroom, make a left at the plank. Follow me.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Will Smith is the scum of the earth.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Your Montrose vase... attracts dust like a magnet!", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Philip, I have $1,000 with your name on it. Do the family a favor, get Viv some cooking lessons.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Vroom, vroom? Very clever. I'll get you two. Vroom, vroom, vroom.", "c": ["Ashley", "Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I quit!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "How come they just couldn't give him some cereal?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "And if you put me on the Bench, I'll take a real bite out of crime. Bite. Bite. Bite.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Kill him? I want to know the name of his decorator.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Look, a Donna Karan suit, right in the middle of the kitchen floor. What color? You gotta come out to see that.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I think it's time you came out of the closet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Will, check out the talent. She's cool. She's hot. She's... your baby sister, man!", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Hey, I didn't know Mom was a ventriloquist. Look at that funny-looking little dummy on her knee.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Ashley, that's Carlton.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "So, where shall we scatter the ashes?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I was eating. That narrows it down.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I'm guessing the bride won't be wearing white.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I wouldn't draw you a cartoon.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "My family. Can't live with 'em, can't turn your back on 'em.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Well, Bob, let's back it up for a moment and define this thing called friendship. You see, the ancient Mayans...", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Bob, this is a bad time.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "You gotta act like you got this tic, right? Like the army did this experiment on you, right, that just went terribly wrong. You're like, back up! Back up! Mind your business, that's all. Mind your business.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "I work all day trying to keep this house nice for you. I cook and clean and work my fingers to the bone. And this is the thanks I get? Well, I bust my hump at school all day... and you just sit around here watching soap operas and eating bonbons.", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. We sound like an old married couple. So now I'm old.", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "And I gave you the best years of my life.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "No, you ate them all without offering me one. Can't have my toothpick, either. Did I ask you?", "c": ["Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "What's the magic word? Now. Guess again.", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Come on, Uncle Phil, it didn't work on your wedding night... and it ain't going to work now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Everybody, duck. I think she's about to blow.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "It's just, always a bridesmaid, never a bride.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "No, I don't. I take her for much more than that. For my lover... my life companion... my very best friend.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Thanks, kids, but... Look, Vivian, there's something I have to tell you. I lost my wedding ring. You mean this one? You found it! Yeah, I took it to have it inscribed. See, look. 'To a hundred years more.'", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "The Way We Were"}, {"t": "Why should I be invited to such an illustrious event after a mere 15 years... of wiping, picking and sucking up after you all?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I'll have to check my book.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I could take care of him. / Yeah, but who's going to take care of you?", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I believe it's Latin for 'little short midget with a square head.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Come on, baby, I'm saying, 'Bing-bang-bluesy, me and you in the Jacuzzi.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Vivaldi, or 'Vival Dee' as it is pronounced in some European circles...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I believe he was commenting on... man's inhumanity toward man... citizens of America, the richest country on this planet... have a moral obligation... If one child goes hungry... we must feed it... If one child shivers... we must shelter it... And I, for one... believe the brother knew what he was talking about.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Vivaldi died in 1741 before there was a United States. / But the dream is alive.", "c": ["Mrs. Bassin", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "The 'F' word. Why?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I mean, the woman that gave me life. And if I don't graduate, she'll take it back.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Batman comes on at 5:00. Can we make it at 6:30? / I'm joking. I'm stupid.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "When I was so instructed by the Lord of the Eighth Circle.", "c": ["Janine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I guess, shortly after my release.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Babies? I'm here to take care of Hilary.", "c": ["Third babysitter candidate"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I mean, people stare at me all the time, but I'm pretty.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I guess that spandex shirt don't got nothing to do with it, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "But I would worry about slipping off them stack of phone books... you going to be standing on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Heck, you guys. Heck!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Oh, my goodness, is that a bald spot?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Come on, Mom, you must have done something else in all that time. / Nothing more important than this. / Apparently, you've never danced the Achy Breaky.", "c": ["Will", "Will's Mom", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I'm pretty good at music, too, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Great. Another high school dropout.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "pizzicato, that's a... pizza with avocado. Get it, I said, it's a pizza...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Well, there ain't no Santa Claus.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "That's funny. Will always has seconds at home.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Because if you're left back and I have to wash your gym socks for another year... I shall take my own life.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "But, Mom, it wouldn't be if you got out more.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "That's going to happen to you on your wedding night.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "What is that thing Michael Jackson had built into his chin?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "What are you looking at? / Not much.", "c": ["Will", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Then I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to sign your yearbook!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Mama's boy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "All this time y'all thought we was going to be performing for some Smurfs?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "And if you guys don't let me graduate, then I might have to mess y'all up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "That's my Jessie, the one with the braids. That's my Will, the one with the mustache.", "c": ["Will's Mom"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Hey, Mike, can we get a little James Brown? I didn't hear you. I said, 'Can we get a little James Brown?'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I guess that means you're noticing how truly fly I am. / Speaking of flies, yours is open. / A tutu fly.", "c": ["Will", "Girl", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I ain't never having no kids.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "And nothing turns me on more than sensitivity in a man. / Oh, girl, you don't know the half of it. Let me tell you I be boo-hooing during Lassie.", "c": ["Girl", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Six Degrees Of Graduation"}, {"t": "Philip, did you get too close? I don't know, Vivian, is four feet too close?", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Five months this Tuesday.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Thin walls.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "There are priests laughing at me.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "I'll get the wheelbarrow, sir.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "He's bluffing.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "D.J. Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. Nick in the house.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, another month, he'll be bigger than Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "No, no, that was yesterday. I told you that boy wasn't ready for Jurassic Park yet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "I brought a gift for baby Dicky. - Nicky. - Yeah. - Thank you. - Whatever.", "c": ["Jazz", "Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "You know, Ms. Banks, since you had that baby... there's something different about you.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Here, Will. Thank you, Jazz, very much.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Jazz, this thing says 'Wendy Beth' on it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "So? When you buy a wallet, doesn't it have someone else's picture in it first?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Jazz, you stole this pillow. It's the thought that counts.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "What? Be banned for life from The Gap?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Oh, check it out. The candy store actually sells candy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "He says it's time for me to leave the nest, become independent... and have sex with girls. Safe sex, mind you, but lots of it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Is this what you've been telling my boy? That life is one big orgy.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "College is hard work, son. Followed by a family, which is even more hard work. And a teenage daughter who doesn't wanna be seen with you in public. And a wife who won't let you anywhere near her. And a butler who may be the father of your child.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Hilary Banks? You know, fate works in mysterious ways. For years, I've been trying to get her to move out of the house and now... when I'm gonna be alone, she is my salvation.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "This morning, as he was leaving the pool house. I mean, this morning on the phone.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "You certainly ain't wasting no time getting a gown. Mom and Dad bought this for me when I hit puberty. One down, three to go.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Are you in love with Trevor? What's love got to do with it? I'm having a wedding.", "c": ["Philip", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "I already did. I'm going to register at Tiffany's.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Hey, back off, Ike. We're having a wedding.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Sounds like a match to me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Carlton, how you feel about the Lust Channel? I think it's 24 hours of shallow, pointless nudity. You heard the bird. We'll take it.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Word? I didn't know RuPaul lived in L.A.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "I bet she could toss me around this room.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "So no one's ever said that to me... except my dentist.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "You don't live here? Are you kidding?", "c": ["Will", "Mr. Gorodetsky"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "I don't keep friends. In time of war, they can be tortured and give up valuable secrets about you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Are you nuts? I'm not bringing her within a hundred yards of you. What? Carlton, I'm your cousin, man. The cousin who stole every woman I ever had. Oh, please, I stole one girl. My point exactly.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "As far as I'm concerned, she's just a man with breasts. She does have breasts, doesn't she?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "This is a stick with a snake wrapped around it. It's a symbol, like Prince. Prince who?", "c": ["Philip", "Ashley's boyfriend"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "See, that's exactly why fathers ain't allowed at the mall.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Prince who? See, that's exactly why fathers ain't allowed at the mall.", "c": ["Philip", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "It's a symbol for 'get out of my house!'", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Really? How long? It's going on five hours.", "c": ["LaTanya", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Jacqueline is his imaginary friend.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "It's the rump-baking, booty-shaking... don't miss the mix in apartment 206.", "c": ["Party crasher reading flyer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "How do you know? All the letters is cut out of magazines.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Not old dude with the flashlight. He carries a whistle too.", "c": ["Party crasher"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "It also looked like Loni and Burt had a good marriage.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Filet mignon? Thanks, but I don't eat red meat. I'll give it up too.", "c": ["Jacqueline", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "It'd be my first dance with a brother from Bel-Air. Better take the opportunity. There aren't too many of us.", "c": ["Jacqueline", "Carlton"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Bobby Vinton, the Polish Prince. Well, I have some Manilow if you prefer. No, the Polish Prince will do just fine.", "c": ["Carlton", "Jacqueline"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "No, no, no!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "Go, peacock. Go, peacock. Go, peacock.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 1"}, {"t": "He says it's time for me to leave the nest, become independent...and have sex with girls.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "That's for not calling me after you left.", "c": ["Jackie", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Since I didn't buy a program on the way in...could you please tell me what the heck is going on?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Man, look, that filly is from Philly. We grew up together.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "What do you want it to mean? / That she hates you and you have no interest in her.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "I've seen a lot of girls smack you, Will. / Then I see the same girls leaving your room.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "I'll fight you for her, Will. Any time, any place.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Relax. I got about as much chance with Jackie as you do.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "All right, y'all, everybody in rows one through 15...the party's in apartment 206.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "And have money in your hands. Senior citizens get a 10-percent discount. I do take tips.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Or maybe we could book the Forum. I'm sure the Lakers will be on the road by then.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "I'm also Trevor's little girl.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "No, no, no. Technically, you're his woman, not his little girl.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Then why does he make me wear those outfits?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I'm scheduled for a heart attack.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Look out, Jerry. Tom's gonna get you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "This used to be my lawn. And this used to be my banister. And you used to be my tenants.", "c": ["Mr. Gorodetsky"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "He kicked your butt. / Excuse me, that's our butts, Carlton. We're in this together.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Not anymore, Kemosabe.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "I don't have to make it on my own. I'm rich.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "I can be reached by fax.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "You'll probably be there till you're in your 30s anyway. Like all those other serial killers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "This is Jazz's mother. He's not here.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "This is Publishers Clearinghouse. You've already won. / It's about time.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "I heard somebody disguised as me ran a party scam.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Jazz, you got me kicked out my crib, man. / Let me make it up to you. / Talk fast, you've only got a few minutes to live.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "You can stay here with me. / In this roach motel?", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Man, I was sneaking the bus back to the depot and I got held up. White dude. He took the bus too.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "The money's gone, isn't it? / Like the Jheri curl.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "That's the Wilsons. You'll get to know them.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Whoa, wait, back up, girl. Wax on, wax off.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "That torch you've been carrying for me all these years...suddenly got a little too hot to handle.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey, don't you be calling me Lobe. I left that in Philly, where I thought I left you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "You mean they're giving basketball scholarships to girls now? / Imagine my surprise. There I was just churning butter, and the phone rings.", "c": ["Will", "Jackie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "You mean they're giving basketball scholarships to girls now?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.04, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "So beware of the bougieman.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "I see this really bothers you. I'm gonna give you a couple of minutes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Because I missed you too much. How's that? I said it. Happy? That what you wanna hear?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Don't hit your head on the rim.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Before long, you'd be dragging me down into the storeroom...and snatching all my gear off and everything.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Then I have to nail you with a sexual-harassment suit...like the Anita Hill thing in reverse.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "And it certainly does not include risking frostbite around you.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Oh, Will. Wear something warm.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Yo, man, I didn't really miss her. That was just game I was kicking there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Well, if it's gonna spoil.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Adversity is my oyster.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "This will go good with my adversity.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "The last I saw him, he was in his room kissing the floor.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "There's no place like home.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Please, whatever happened to getting down on one knee? / Daddy, that's for old fogies. / I got down on one knee. / Sustained.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "I ain't no bungee expert or nothing...but I don't think he's supposed to be slamming into the ground like that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Trevor didn't look so bad for a dude that had a concrete face-lift.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Fool. Like that was his real head.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "No, I mean technically. Am I a widow or what?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "If I hadn't asked for a special proposal...Trevor would be in my arms...instead of in my purse.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Hilary...Trevor wasn't cremated.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Then who's this?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Is he single?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Right. He's up there with my little dog Scruffy.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Yeah, and the bus he rode in under.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Must everything be a joke to you? My sister's in a fragile condition. I'm trying to help her bounce back. / Bounce. Trevor bounced.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Son, go get yourself a milk.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Every inch of that newsroom reminds me of Trevor. His desk, his makeup bib...the shower in his office.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Go to the mall with my father? Sorry, I forgot.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "So with that in mind, what are you doing later?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, I forgot. There's a hostage situation back at my building. SWAT team said it'd be a week before we could get back in.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Forgive me for what I'm about to do.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Of course, there is the pool house. Never mind, forget about that, though.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "I bet if those walls could talk...they'd whisper: 'Trevor.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "I was thinking maybe I could turn that pool house into a law library. / Stop playing, listen. / A greenhouse. That would work, huh?", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Check it out. It's important that I have my privacy. Say a honey be tiptoeing up my crib. That's my business, not yours.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Fine. No skinny-dipping. / You gotta promise me that same thing.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "How come he gets the pool house...and I'm stuck upstairs with the grieving widow?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "It's my property. I'm gonna inherit it after the big guy takes his bungee jump.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Okay, tallest one gets the bedroom. I need the big closet for my peacock suit.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Will! So glad it's you. I heard someone disguised as me just ran a party scam. / I'm sorry, what? / How many people think we doing that again?", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "Where Theres A Will Theres A Way 2"}, {"t": "Carlton, relax. This is the line for class registration... not the Nixon Library.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Yes, I'll have what she's having.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "We were on the freeway.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "The same reason Eddie Murphy tries to sing, I like the challenge.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Carlton, the challenge is to make your life as easy as possible.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "That's why God made canned meat. Spam cakes, anyone?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Patchouli, sweet of you to notice.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Western Pornography.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Did anybody really believe Kool Moe Dee was a cowboy?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "The wild wild west The wild wild west / I used to live downtown", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Hilary, this is your sister, Ashley.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Suck it up, and get on with your life!", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "And you don't have to. Here. I'll even look the number up for you. Hello, Neiman's?", "c": ["Phil", "Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Hilary immediately calling Neiman's and shopping by phone", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Okay, okay, attention Kmart shoppers. We're running out of books for Psych 157... the study of human sexuality. So for any of you slimmies who miss out... I'll be more than happy to demonstrate the contents of the book. Twice, you know.", "c": ["Bookstore Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "You're an idiot.", "c": ["Woman Student"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Hey, Sting, kick some lyrics, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "No, you do that all by yourself. What'd you sign up for today, Advanced Sarcasm?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Have you ever heard of a little thing called Western Philosophy?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Is that Spam in your teeth?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "I didn't have no Spam.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Well, Hair Club For Men would be a good start.", "c": ["Bookstore Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Nothing like that minimum-wage humor.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "You know, I'd stay and continue this battle of wits with you... but you're obviously unarmed.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "He dribbles behind his back... he's up and he shoots. Oh, and it's no good. Carlton the peacock says, 'Don't be a quitter, pick up your litter.'", "c": ["Bookstore Worker"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Help me! Come on, guys, help me up. Yeah, we need a cleanup on aisle four. We got some bird droppings.", "c": ["Bookstore Worker", "Other Students"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, that's right, it was in the dictionary next to:", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Nope, all clear. And... Plus, I don't have any early classes, that means we could sleep in.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Just think of me as the Love Terminator.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "T2, meet my boyfriend, T-Rex.", "c": ["Girl"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Hasta la vista, baby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Well, not with those looks.", "c": ["Bookstore Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 5.01, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't speak geek.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Plan A was derailed by this refrigerator-shaped gentleman over here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "I'm Will Smith. And this is an interesting coincidence.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Professor Mansfield, it's not too late to start sucking up, is it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Thank you, Padre.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "No, no, no! No, wait. Call my mother! Somebody call the governor! I ain't even supposed to be in this class, man! I wanna live.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "It's the only course you're taking that actually requires staying awake.", "c": ["Registrar"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I'm sure my wife has a really good reason for cheating on me.", "c": ["Registrar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "My wife has seen more action than Chuck Norris.", "c": ["Registrar"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "I got a toilet in my closet! And every day I just see my career going down it!", "c": ["Registrar"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Make it one of your demands... when you climb the bell tower with a rifle.", "c": ["Registrar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "It's celery, I swear.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "The incarceration of a felon always gets my juices pumping.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "You should have seen me deny that man's plea bargain. I was brilliant!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Rain check? Vivian, I am not a car wash.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "I'm ready for my wax job.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "I don't want anybody in here who doesn't wanna be here.", "c": ["Professor Mansfield"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Psych. Or should I say 'philosp.'", "c": ["Professor Mansfield"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Do you wanna know the truth? You can't handle the truth!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Captain Kirk, now that's fly. No, this is The Fly: 'Help me! Help me!'", "c": ["Will", "Professor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "They all been on Montel Williams.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "See, I can't hear you because you no longer exist.", "c": ["Professor Mansfield"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "But you could shove me, though, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Man! I should have never dropped out of his class.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Is that a yes or a no?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "To what? A pie-eating contest? No, to having a fool as a nephew.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "But enough about me, Uncle Phil. Let's talk about you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "What's the matter, Will? Can't move those oranges at the off-ramp?", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Well, yesterday's reality isn't necessarily today's.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "You come to me, my son, asking for a favor. I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse.", "c": ["Professor Mansfield"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "You come to me, my son, asking for a favor. I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse.", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "You gotta love the irony, though, huh?", "c": ["Professor Mansfield"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "I mean, is it anywhere near a subway or anything like that?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Okay, all right, how about if it landed on, like, a gopher or something like that? Hey, does the noise that the gopher makes count?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Or what if it falls on Uncle Phil and he hurt the tree?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "Carlton, thank you very much, but I already have my academic... stuff in order.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "All Guts No Glory"}, {"t": "How come you can't trust me? - Because I grew up with you.", "c": ["Jackie", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Hey, look, you are talking to one tired freshman here, Miss Boss Lady.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, Agnes. I don't know why your daughter doesn't call you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "You went through it with Carlton. Yes, and look at how well he turned out.", "c": ["Vivian", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, I think you should be more concerned with a cholesterol-free good time.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Big poopy. - What did you say? - Oh, I said: 'Beg, puppy'... to my pretend dog, Ernie.", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Fetch, Ernie. He's gone now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Who's Bobby?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "We'll draw straws for the little bugger. Short one loses.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "I've got a date with Mr. Stinky!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Well, I'm hoping you like it dark, hot, sweet... and with a spoon in it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "He reminds me of Trevor.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Wipe my booty.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.91, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Well, like padre, like nino, you know what I'm saying?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "All right, break it up. Move on. Nothing to see here. Show's over. Beat it!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Since Tirisha died.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Hey! Isn't that who played Greg Brady?! - Where? Hey, Greg, wait up!", "c": ["Hilary", "crowd"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "And she can sleep over any time she wants to.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "'The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round.'", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Excuse me, but when did I get old enough to hear this?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "I don't know.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Oh, God, it's not like I left him at Sizzler... Dad.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "No, Uncle Phil, you got at least five years before you need them.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Thanks for the warning, Captain Weenie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "You just an embarrassment, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "And I'd like to say, 'Hey, I'm here for you'... but, heck, I'd be lying.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "I'm saying, you know I can't be trusted. You wouldn't have left me here, none of this would ever happen.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "What?!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Deficiency, you know, from my night job at the target range.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Well, he just a baby. How important could his plans be?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "All I need is me a baby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "I've seen you both naked anyway.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Yes, well, you just lay back and relax and let Daddy take care of you.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "A zucchini. A zucchini, Will.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "There's a world of change out there, mister... and I'm going to find it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Yeah, we came here straight from church.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Sorry, we're closed. Be open at 10.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Olive Oyl is looking awfully good right now.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "That's my zucchini.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "General Powell said to me: 'Yo, homey, you need to get down with a little R and R... because you're looking a little singed.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "It was in a little-known province called... Rae Dawn Chong.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Well, sayonara.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Hawaii too?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "See... this ain't my kid either. Aloha.", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "A zucchi... A zucchini.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "Good luck, Captain Weenie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Father Of The Year"}, {"t": "I know when to hold 'em / Know when to fold 'em / Know when to walk away / But don't know when to shut up", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Wait, even better than the day you met the Van Patten family?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "It was when I did the wild thing for the first time", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "I cut out of high school to go to Soul Train. The next thing I knew, me and this honey was knocking boots...behind the Soul Train Scrabble board.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "You mean you cut high school in Akron, Ohio...to go to Soul Train, which tapes in L.A?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Hey, hey. High school was boring, okay?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "A key chain, Carlton. What do you think, man?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Man, I remember my first time. It was everything a young man could dream of. And it only cost me 35 bucks.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "But, of course, things were cheaper then.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Maybe he ain't got nothing to talk about. Lockjaw.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "I think he's more used to playing solitaire.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "The only problem this stallion has is keeping the names with the faces...if you know what I'm saying.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Three kings and a virgin.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "You'll be kissing more butt than Arsenio.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Carlton, please, forget about Miss Right. Go for Miss Right Now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "She'll love everything I love. Money, Ivy League schools and America.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Hey, lady, we were talking.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Come on, man, baby is all that. Go on, step to her and ask her out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Not really. But my favorite singer is performing the national anthem. - Who's that? - Tom Jones.", "c": ["Joann", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "That girl's a damn thief. She stole that magazine. Hey!", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Bob, judges don't cry.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "He's dead.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Hey, look. I found that Chevette. The body was already in the trunk too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Stop persecuting me! I've done nothing, I tell you. Nothing.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "You just can't get good help these days.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "You could come live at our house. My little sister is almost 15. It's time she moved out on her own.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Will you marry me?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Tomorrow morning.", "c": ["Joann"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Fine. [calls Bel-Air Hotel room service instead of making breakfast]", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, that's my mom's finger. Get it off my hand.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "So who put the offer on the table? - She did. And the terms were so attractive, I jumped on h...it. I jumped on it.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "I protected my investment.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "I protected my investment.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Carlton lost his virginity.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "That's all right, just don't take another morning off.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "You did a porno movie?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "...was descended from a long line of running Butlers.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "[Geoffrey takes taxi in the middle of marathon race]", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "To his countrymen, he is the shame of a nation.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Hey, G, why don't you run into the kitchen...and get me something. Or better yet, take a cab.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "You're a servant. Get me some cake.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Green card? What green card?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "You are what you eat, buddy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, yeah. She gave you a key chain.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "You want me to sleep with him?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Really? Well, quelle surprise.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Hey, it is great to see you two together again.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Well, who is it? - It's your uncle. - My only uncle died three years ago. - Then you should take the call because it's probably really long-distance.", "c": ["Will", "Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "It's your uncle. My only uncle died three years ago. Then you should take the call because it's probably really long-distance.", "c": ["Will", "Dean Morgan"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "You have to go through this every time you come up here? No, I take the ladder.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Of all the students in all the universities...in all the world, she had to sleep with me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "That would be what, rocks?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "How about we go down and we discuss this on solid ground, huh? I'll buy you some rocky road, baby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Down the hall, third door on your right.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "I'm so stupid. I'm a stupid, dirty rock.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "Well, there's a first time for everything. Of course, you know that.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "That's next year's Emmy right there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Its Better To Have Loved And Lost It"}, {"t": "God knows I wouldn't do it.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "I just don't think that black is the right color for this kind of heat.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry, Daddy, this dress is surprisingly cool. It's like I'm wearing practically nothing.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "She's not my daughter.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Yeah, man, it's so hot out there the Uh-Huh Girls just went: [implied gesture/sound]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "You know, that girl has got the mind of Willard Scott.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Hey. Come to think of it, you got his body. Y'all should team up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Sorry, Uncle Phil has left the building. You're now talking to landlord Banks", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, was I talking out loud?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry about it, it's a double negative.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Dad, this is an outrage! Three dollars for orange juice?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Oh, and I've taken the liberty of adding a 15-percent gratuity.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Carlton. Of course you know this means war!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "It certainly does. And we're gonna win, right, Dad?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Girl, I got to tell you, that suit look like a piece of 'good God' wrapped up in some 'have mercy' with a side of: [gesture]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Come on, let's get out of this heat before I pop something, you know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry, that 'LA' stands for Louisiana. Our high will be 112.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Don't any of you touch me.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "I wouldn't call it disobedience, sir. It's more like outright defiance.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Dance puppets, dance!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "That's either him or a rhino that got his horn chopped off.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Howard!", "c": ["Woman at party"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "And I'm in heaven.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Well, they will be if you come out in the morning, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "I pay rent here too, eventually.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "What, a sit-up?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm afraid. Hold me, Will.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Oh, gosh, now you've gone and spoiled the surprise.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Your Honor, I'm from West Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground is where I spent most of my days.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Or a high-priced degree from Princeton... like my worthy adversary, Judge Philip Banks.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "And this man is making a mockery of a finely cut Italian suit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "You, dummy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "When we prepared this case, you didn't say I had to speak against my father.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "smile at me", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "All right, I'm guilty! I'm guilty!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Welcome to my turf.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Objection!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "No, no, no, this party is crazy, fly, dumb, deaf, doogy!", "c": ["Party guests"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, son. Here, here's $100.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Now, why don't you take your Humpty Dumpty butt on back up to the main house", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Right now I'm considering their 15-year-old daughter.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "To hell with my parents. Will taught me that.", "c": ["Steffi"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "You call me 'boy'? You better step to me like a man!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Check it out, the night was so hot people was pulling up on camels, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "I've got some old T-shirts in there that I was gonna drop off for the homeless... but you're welcome to put one on to cover up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Oh, Gayle, bring out that book of hymns I was telling you about.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Safety first, my little non-swimmer.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "He may be an unreasonable, pigheaded dictator... but he is your father and my uncle, and you will show him some respect.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Do you know how humiliating it is to have a son who can't swim?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Hit the bricks, you little tramp! Out of here!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "And tell your mother your father has a girlfriend!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "I intend to cite the landmark case of Rhode Island v. Schechter Poultry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "That has to do with the right to hang dead chickens in a butcher-shop window.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Well, then, you see where I'm going with this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "Yeah, never rent to relatives.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "I'm sorry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Will Goes A Courtin"}, {"t": "They get you coming, they get you going.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Not any more than Trevor.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Whatever that is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Oh, gosh, how can I put this gently? I can't, he's dead.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Okay, I owe you one.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Not on the s\u00e9ance, for the s\u00e9ance. I needed a new hat.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "I don't know. If you ask me, it would be cheaper to just dig him up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "I say, thank God, I'm not a loved one.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Trevor's bungee accident left everything up in the air.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "I guess we're just not a close family anymore.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "But it'll cut into my trick-or-treating time.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Geoffrey slamming door on trick-or-treaters after saying 'Trick...'", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "It's Halloween. It's supposed to be fun for the children. Oh, tell it to Barney.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Halloween, the only night a black man can walk around in this neighborhood with a mask on and not get arrested.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "And the Democrats say there's a recession.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Why? Because y'all the same height?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Not to mention, he's one heck of an actor.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Let's go, everyone. I don't wanna keep Trevor waiting. What's the rush? Ain't like he going nowhere.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I'm stupid. I'm stupid.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Who would put a deco table on a Persian rug?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Stop, don't tell me... You're the Banks family.", "c": ["Skorpius"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "I want to sit close to the door. That was decent. That was decent. Yeah, well.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Seem like somebody made contact with one too many spirits, you know", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "While you're there, see if you can find Marvin Gaye and find out what was really going on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Seem like some medium ain't paid their electric bill, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Oh, they wish me to tell you: 'Shut your pie hole.'", "c": ["Skorpius"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "I know his vibration.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "I thought they was boring when he was alive.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Do you know where I left my black suede purse?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Come on, man, I could be sucking on some honey neck bone right now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Oh, like you ever had it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Trevor has left the building.", "c": ["Skorpius"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "And miss Saved By The Bell? I don't think so.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "right between the exorcism and step class.", "c": ["Skorpius"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Listen, Scrupulous.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Nobody calls me the F-word.", "c": ["Skorpius"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "I placed a curse on you.", "c": ["Skorpius"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "How do you think I ended up here?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "So if I hook up with some babe tonight, I promise to practice safe hex.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Carlton, what's that hideous thing growing out of your neck? What, what? Where, where? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Never mind. It's just your head.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Carlton, what the hell happened to your hair? Oh, no, you don't. I'm not falling for that again. Oh, my hair. I look like a snow cone.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "For a moment there, I thought you'd found those Polaroids of me in a tutu. New Year's Eve. A fellow gets crazy.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "until we all end up on Unsolved Mysteries.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "The hex has gone international.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "What I need is a judge who can be bought off, like you.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "To think, all these years, I never appreciated you.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "I'll be in the kitchen throwing up.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "We're gonna name our first son after you, Daddy. By the way, I thought we could get started tonight.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Your little Willie. You know, the adorable, charismatic, sometimes troublesome yet overall wonderful young man you've grown to love.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Listen, take anything you want. Just don't hurt me.", "c": ["Ralph Skorpius"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Will waking up from nightmare - entire hex sequence was a dream", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.32, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey, listen. How about those Lakers, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Hex And The Single Guy"}, {"t": "Girl, you know I ain't into that frat stuff. It's for a bunch of pocket-protector-wearing, no-social-life-having losers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "The defense rests, Your Honor.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "We're Delta Kappa Tau We'd like to take a bow / We got the highest grades And we will tell you how / We study, study, study For professional careers / We drink a lot of Ovaltine But never any beers", "c": ["Delta Kappa Tau fraternity"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Revenge of the Nerds: Part Six.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Where's, like, a big gong when you need one, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Lambda Kappa Nu song about blue blood and gold cards", "c": ["Lambda Kappa Nu pledges"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Man! Hey, I guess that's a tough choice, huh, Carlton?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "I'll say. Can I hear yours again?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Well, my gold card has a hologram of Lee Iacocca on it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Excuse us, guys, it's time for a Negro moment.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "I was. Didn't you notice we all had alligator shirts on?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Now, Top Dog, you know when it's me against you... it's one-on-none.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Are you in a fraternity? And here I thought you had a life.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "But, I will have a double scoop of that, though.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "I wouldn't really have to go to juvenile hall, would I? I hear those kids are real troublemakers.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Well, it don't get no littler than cousin Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Twenty-six years of marriage and I find you in bed with a cheerleader.", "c": ["Soap opera character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "She really hasn't been the same since she had that sex change.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "I used to date a biker.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Maybe next time we can actually hit second gear.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Looks like a bunch of middle-aged men with too much time on their hands.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Dan, you're an accountant.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Got a moment, Fonzie?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Well, just look at it this way. If I take a fall, I have a 50-pound cushion.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "From what Helen tells me... she ain't giving him any heat anywhere else either.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, I can't wait to see your first hot flash.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Must be that midlife crisis thing Aunt Viv warned us about.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Must be that midlife crisis thing Aunt Viv warned us about.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "He's also an alcoholic. No, that's Judge Martin.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Oh, no. You know, Uncle Phil, I got a reputation more as a free spirit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "The frat leader does need a little help with his jumping. Maybe I'll join as, like, a mercy thing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Oh, but you better not try none of that run-out-of-gas stuff, mister.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, yeah, just relax, Magellan.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Well, are you speaking to me now, or are you?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Actually, my butler handles the laundry.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "South central Bel-Air.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "I live right across the street from the Aaron Spelling mansion. You know, the producer of Beverly Hills, 90210?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Dylan's on the verge of getting back with Brenda. They really getting back together, though?", "c": ["Carlton", "Top Dog"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "They really getting back together, though?", "c": ["Top Dog"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "No need to thank him all at once, fellas.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Brother from another planet.", "c": ["Fraternity member"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Hey, we're gonna play Hollywood Squares.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Yeah, but the rest of us got to wear shoes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "I had no idea how much Mary was suffering.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Motorcycles and black leather will never make me feel as young... as the love of a good woman.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Oh, sir, the body shop called. They said your motorcycle is completely totaled.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "but have to pay for that box of Eskimo Pies you ate.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "What would that be, One Life To Ruin?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "What would that be, One Life To Ruin?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "I broke my bike.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "You've never said that to me before in my life. Give me a hug. Don't.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "You see, man, that is exactly why I'll never tell you nothing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Girl, if God made anything prettier than you... I hope he kept it for himself.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Well then, mush, you huskies.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "The last time we played them, the party just kind of got out of hand. I know what you mean. You should see what happens at their concerts.", "c": ["Top Dog", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Well, Carlton is not like you and me. Carlton doesn't exactly exemplify what I think a Phi Beta Gamma is.", "c": ["Top Dog"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Everything your butler does for you.", "c": ["Top Dog"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "I'm not accepting no prep school, Bel-Air bred sellout into my fraternity.", "c": ["Top Dog"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Or maybe it's because I like Barry Manilow.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "He mean Barry White, y'all.", "c": ["Fraternity member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "And in the words of my illustrious cousin: 'We will make like a tree and leave.'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "I never say that. It's 'make like a banana and split.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "No. Apparently, I'm not enough of a brother to be a brother.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "Well, who does? I mean, you wait and wait... and when you finally get to the front of the line, everything's gone.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "The Jamma Gammas. The bad mama jamma. The bad mama jammas, yeah.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "Blood Is Thicker Than Mud"}, {"t": "They're gonna call it 'Warm Fronts.'", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "You heard our father: No! Carlton, what do you care?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Now, now, don't get your Underoos in a knot, stumpy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Long afternoons kicking back on a chaise longue... watching full-body contact volleyball up at Hef's place.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "That's telling us, Dad.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "What were we talking about?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Hil, I think you were in the process of storming out of here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Look like you got hat-jacked by Woody Woodpecker.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Has it changed since we used to play doctor?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Will, you just hit on me from force of habit.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "'Okay' is all right if I offered you a government cheese sandwich... but I'm offering you a buffet of love, child.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "You know what the evening leads... I'm sorry, I need to have that treated.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "I know. I look great naked.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "I guess I could kiss heaven goodbye... because it got to be a sin to look this good.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "You've been playing tennis with the gardener again, haven't you?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "I think you're still in the process of forgetting.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Let me tell you, you're the best cousin a brother ever had.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Well, hello, Hef. Oh, pshaw. Don't be silly. I'm glad I could come. Oh, Miss December. Oh, baby, I was gonna call you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "if you can tear yourself away from your imaginary friend", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Tell me, might this young lady have a terminal illness?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Then may I point out, she'll still be here tomorrow.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Oh, they don't need you, G. They're fully staffed.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Either that is one tight dress or a really good paint job.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "No, no, no, it's only the rest of his life. After them pictures come out, how much longer could he have?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "He's got issues in his bathroom from, like, 1964.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Oh, look, the Little Republican Store must've opened.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna miss out on Princeton... because she wants to expose her weather balloons.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Carlton, I think Geoffrey's baking cookies.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Boy gets hot and bothered talking to average-looking girls. Five minutes at the Mansion, he's gonna go into meltdown.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Except the girls ain't got folds in the middle and jokes on their back.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "You're drooling on my pumps.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Yeah, and your head is like a peanut.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "I have never seen so many people in one place... I wanted to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "You who? Stop yodeling. Hugh Hefner.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "You def, Hef.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Hey, Carlton, I gotta be honest, man, I forgot you was even here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "They think I'm the black dude from Mod Squad.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Too bad. They're not here.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "If you don't care where your children are, sir, neither do I.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "That one's on the house.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "How come you knew that and I didn't? Because they talk to me. Why don't they talk to me? Because you don't listen.", "c": ["Vivian", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Looks like everything on that body is in working order.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "I'm a cardiologist. You need a pediatrician.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Very impressive. Now, do you remember my turnoffs? Hairy backs, smokers... and abrasive young men who don't know when to shut up. Bingo.", "c": ["Playboy Model"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Five years and six figures.", "c": ["Playboy Model"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "I've got two numbers... and if I play my cards right, I think she'll give me the other five.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Bunny hop! / What do you think you're doing? / The bunny hop.", "c": ["Carlton", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "My man, Linc.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "You know, actually, I had an allergic reaction... to bunnies.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "What kind of monster are you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Cinco de Mayo? Rosh Hashanah?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "In that case, I never would've married you.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "It was a tie between your family and your temper.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Look at that. She's covered up!", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "But this little girl is not.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "Look, I will not be publicly embarrassed... by a problem of delivering my damn lines. It won't happen, damn it. It ain't gonna happen.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Fresh Prince After Dark"}, {"t": "I heard the doctor say he thinks Uncle Phil might have Dunlap syndrome... Mean his belly done lapped over his belt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Hold on a minute. I'll have you know my father is not fat. He's just big-boned. Larger than life.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's also larger than the Volvo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Cholesterol is gathering in his arteries... stopping the blood flow like rush-hour gridlock. Hold it, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Dad will probably outlive all of us. Only if he eats us first.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Oh, did I tell you? I went in on a racehorse.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "I mean, hey, I'm getting tired of the fat jokes myself. What is wrong with you people? I weigh the same thing I weighed in high school. Yeah, if you add up all four years.", "c": ["Will", "Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Guess I'm not getting as tired of those fat jokes as I thought, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Where are you going? Shooting the rapids at Dead Man's Falls... But Trevor died doing a bungee jump. I know. I'm working up to that.", "c": ["Carlton", "Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, Hil. That's not your parachute. That's my book bag. That would've been embarrassing.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "I'm supposed to imagine myself 20 years from now. No wonder you're so depressed.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "You are little Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Your wife? Oh, this is science fiction.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "You probably don't recognize it without a thick coating of batter and gravy.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "I can't give up my favorite foods cold turkey with... Oh, my God. Turkey. With pillowy mounds of mashed potatoes...", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Put your hands up. Step away from the chips.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "And doing a wonderful job, I might add. Shut up, Geoffrey.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Ashley hid the remote control, so I have to walk to the TV.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "You know, I'd give anything for a cheeseburger, Will. Anything. Why, I might even finance your little trip to Mexico.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Ashley has spies at every fast food restaurant for miles.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Well, I'll make a New Year's resolution, and by March... February... Well, you have my solemn vow. And that's this New Year's, right?", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "My therapist was right. You just aren't nurturing enough.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Doesn't my word mean anything to you? Of course it does, darling. Better call the Chinese restaurants too.", "c": ["Phil", "Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "You got the stuff? Right here. You got the money? You take a check?", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "It's good to see you're not wasting time chewing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Relieves cramps, bloating and irritability. Oh, no, no, this is Geoffrey's.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Don't worry, he's my fourth heart attack today... and I already lost one of them. A two-death day is rare.", "c": ["EMT"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Could be because you're leaning on his air hose.", "c": ["EMT"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "I'm staying with you till the end. That was a really poor choice of words. I'm sorry, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "We gonna go for plenty rides in ambulances, man... you gonna be all right, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Well, if I say he is and he croaks, you're gonna be upset, right? You're a real people person, aren't you? I guess.", "c": ["EMT", "Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Hey, if he still wants to stop for a burger... I can get Troy to swing by the drive-through. With the siren on, we don't have to wait in line.", "c": ["EMT"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "I hate to interrupt this guilt-fest... but I think I have to take the rap for this one.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "I mean, the fried rice had bean sprouts in it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, what are you doing there? I had a heart attack, Will. Hey, how come you didn't tell me you weren't my uncle, man?", "c": ["Will", "Random Patient", "Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Well, nobody ever comes to visit me. I crave the attention.", "c": ["Random Patient"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Will, see if he's gonna finish his IV.", "c": ["Random Patient"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Yeah, I got a son. He don't come to visit me either.", "c": ["Random Patient"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Not Kevorkian. Kevarkian with an A.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Carlton's a little bigger, wears a bow tie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Don't be stupid, Carlton. What are you doing? Cleaning the oven. What's your problem? It says right here on the label to let foam sit for 45 minutes. My hands are tied.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "You come near me, I'll spray.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "You don't understand, Will. Yes, I do. You're selfish.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Call me Russell. I'm on break now. You wanna go downstairs and have an early breakfast?", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Oh, look at that, I'm being beeped. I didn't hear any beep.", "c": ["Doctor", "Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Yeah... cheesecake is my kryptonite.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Hey, Superman, ask junior to get me a bedpan.", "c": ["Random Patient"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Hey, Uncle Phil, bet you never thought... you'd get a standing O in this house?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "You was probably worried about just seeing this kitchen again, right? I'm sorry, that's a leftover fat joke. I'm tripping.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "I'll cover all bets on that one.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, I dented the Mercedes.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "And if you ever do anything to scare me like that again, I'll kill you.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "Oh, man, we don't have no remote. Sure we do. Geoffrey!", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Home Is Where The Heart Attack Is"}, {"t": "The last test he gave, I got a four, and I cheated.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "I'll finish them tonight... right after I move the last of my things out of our... Her garage.", "c": ["Burton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "I guess I won't be needing that anymore.", "c": ["Burton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Behold. My chicktionary.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "There's a lot of F's. That ain't necessarily a bad thing, you know?", "c": ["Burton", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "What's the B mean? Be prepared for a possible F.", "c": ["Burton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Oh, and G.G.W.A.B. Means Good God What A Booty.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Well, is she involved with anyone? Mostly just herself.", "c": ["Burton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Maybe she could do the same for my grade.", "c": ["Burton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "You mean your knife and fork?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Where do they get these stories?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "But I think if Trevor were still alive, he'd want me to see other guys.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Boy, don't make me have to turn the hose on y'all two.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "I'm saying, he's an English professor and... And you speak some English.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Shields are down, Scotty. Fire!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "But don't you think Italy is more of a second date kind of thing.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Well, duh.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "I need a price check on a Peacock athletic supporter. Size small.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Never mind.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.76, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "I'll make the test one question, open book.", "c": ["Burton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Welcome to the family, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Rhetta, B.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "He has a mole.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "I sit in class with this man all day, every day, and I ain't ever seen no mole.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "But as the night went on, it got bigger and bigger... until it was all I could see.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Oh, stop.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Like in Philly, a big butt on a sister was considered a thing of beauty. You know, the more back baby got, the better. I mean, up to a point. Then, it's just nasty.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Oh, the mole man. Tell him I moved.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Hello, Spot... I mean, Scott.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "I'll work mole patrol.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Game, set, match. Now, stop whining. What's next?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Yeah, they gypped us, though. They only gave us the tails.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "You are making a mountain out of a mole, Hil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Did you see how huge his Adam's apple is?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "I mean, what's in there, a basketball?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "You're telling me that Trevor was reincarnated in Scott's throat?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "You'll become one of them crazy old women... who walk around all day long with a shower cap on... with an old raggedy halter-top that say 'Jam.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "And then you gonna start wearing rhinestone gauchos.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "[Incomprehensible rambling sound]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "The only man you're gonna be able to get is some fool named Grady... who be smelling like menthol all the time and falling asleep in his soup.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I hate soup.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Then you march through those curtains and you look his throat in the face!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Hey did we miss the national anthem?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Some fool named Grady.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "It's like watching a snake digest a rabbit.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Did you see Throw Momma From The Train?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "No, not at all. A little.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Hey, look, Pavarotti, go in there... and tell my date I'll be back in a minute.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Mom, do me a favor. Don't have anymore babies.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "According to this, the crib malfunctioned... and an infant was tossed 50 feet in the air.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "We can beat that.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Even if it is a deathtrap.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Look: It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Master Nicky.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "When I was a little girl, I never had any imaginary friends. I just used to play with Carlton's.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "And, God, they were such dweebs.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "I gotta go study for the massacre at little big mole.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Shortly after, her parents demanded he be removed from the college.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "She remembers nothing.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Baby Nicky only made it to 42 feet.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Take My Cousin Please"}, {"t": "Do I have to call security?", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Will asking Jackie to Lakers game 'three hours before game time'", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "You dating somebody right now? Well, how come I'm the last to know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Dude is probably some snaggletoothed... pie-faced, snausage-lipped, hunchback... It's Hank Farley.", "c": ["Will", "Jackie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "It's Hank Farley. Heisman Trophy winning fool.", "c": ["Jackie"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "You strip away the shoulder pads and the muscles... and the dimples and what you got? You.", "c": ["Will", "Jackie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Ask him if he got any sevens, Hil.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Did you ever have one of those days when you just don't feel pretty? No.", "c": ["Ashley", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Oh, that's real comforting coming from my father.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "You mean, you've had nights where you felt fat and ugly? Okay, so I don't know exactly what you mean.", "c": ["Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Of course, when Hollywood got a hold of my story... they made it a white dude.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go have some chips. I'm gonna... I'm feeling chippy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 3.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Hey, Jackie! I didn't see you standing in front of the dip.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "If that was a sorority out there they would know what my name was.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "was that the Ohio State game where you fumbled three times?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Well, I played basketball once without a leg. Then that explains why your jokes are so lame.", "c": ["Carlton", "Hank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Hey, now, was that your call, or did the coach send that in?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Carlton, do you wanna dance? You wanna dance with me? Really?", "c": ["Jackie", "Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I thought there was a chemistry between us. Ever since the day we met, there was an indescribable something... Do you wanna dance?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Well, we all knew that Ashley was, well, cute... but with my help, she has turned into an absolute knockout.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Well, honey... she looks like you. I know. Isn't it great?", "c": ["Phil", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Nice? I look like Honey, I Shrunk the Hilary.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Hello, Robert? Listen, I can't go. I got stuck babysitting my little brother. Yeah, me too. Well, bye.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Oh, that's awful. But look on the bright side. You might have gotten dumped, but you look marvelous.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Ashley, where did you learn to lie like that? Mom taught me.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "What would it take for me to get a woman to make that noise? Probably cash.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Probably cash.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Hey, why don't you go take a steroid break?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Arm wrestling? That's a boy's game. You're right. Step up to a man's game. Matt.", "c": ["Will", "Hank"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Will, what the heck do you think you're doing? You can't drink. Why not? Because you're underage. It's against the law, mister.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Thank you very much, McGruff, the Crime Dog... but this is the law of the jungle.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "In the words of Public Enemy, 'Bring the noise.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Smooth.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I only had... two.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Yeah, Carlton, have the valet bring around your big wheel.", "c": ["Hank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I had a puppy. What happened to him? I don't know.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I hope you're gonna have fun driving my gym locker.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen... I'd like to make a roast to Mr. Stank Barley.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "This man is an all-American... which don't really matter because we all Americans.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Jock itching, wide receiving, love-to-take-the-snap punk.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Happy Kwanzaa, Crank.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "What's that, Jackie? You've got an even smaller bathing suit?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Are you the caretaker here? No, I'm more like a tenant.", "c": ["Will", "Dead Man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Hey, you play poker? We need a fourth. A fourth? There's only two of us. Now there's four. Make it three.", "c": ["Dead Men"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "'Dead' is so politically incorrect. We prefer the term, 'living impaired.' That's much nicer. I can live with that.", "c": ["Dead People"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "The living guys always fall for that.", "c": ["Dead Man"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I just gave a health tip to a dead guy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "You went flying off a cliff. The guy who didn't is probably laying up under your woman right now... and you're stuck here playing eternal poker with no chips. Nice going, buddy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Oh, please, Rebel-Without-A-Clue... it's kids like you who make me glad I never had children.", "c": ["Dead Woman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I think. I actually never did have time to read that note.", "c": ["Dead Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I was in publishing, worked with a number one author. Very competitive, but I pushed and pushed until I made it to the top. I liked being on top.", "c": ["Dead Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I liked being on top. I was a real winner.", "c": ["Dead Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Let me guess. You died in the ring? No, during the post-fight interview.", "c": ["Will", "Dead Boxer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Let me guess. You died in the ring? No, during the post-fight interview.", "c": ["Will", "Dead Boxer"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "The doctor said the next punch could kill me. A lucky guess.", "c": ["Dead Boxer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Yes, their last respects.", "c": ["Dead Woman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "That damn kid won't stay buried. I don't have the patience to deal with him.", "c": ["Dead Man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I know, I was gonna play shortstop for the Dodgers. Hey, maybe you still will one day.", "c": ["Billy", "Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "The driver was drunk.", "c": ["Billy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "You're little.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Ash, there are plenty of men in the sea. You mean fish in the sea. No, I mean men, fish don't own yachts.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I didn't feel comfortable having Robert see me like that. I hope you're not mad. Ashley, you're my baby sister. I love you.", "c": ["Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "you're just not gonna do the volume I do.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "There's certainly nothing wrong with you wanting to look just the way you are... you're just not gonna do the volume I do.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Well, Miss Hilary, I guess beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Yeah, right.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Well, not rolling down the window... before you ralphed in the Volvo was a good start.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "That must be what Chevy Chase felt like.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Remember last Christmas when I had that second slice of rum cake? The next thing I knew, I was up on the kitchen table... with a lampshade on my head singing show tunes.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Well, I got a lot accomplished today, huh? I lost Jackie, I lost my self-respect, lost my dinner. I ain't got nothing left. Wrong again.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, guys, but I really don't remember my next line. No, I really don't. Is waiting worth the... Okay, we can just keep going.", "c": ["Will Smith"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, guys, but I really don't remember my next line. No, I really don't. Is waiting worth the... Okay, we can just keep going.", "c": ["Will Smith"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Youve Got To Be A Football Hero"}, {"t": "Don't eat too many, okay, Daddy?", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Say, Uncle Phil, can I borrow 50 bucks, man? Of course, some things never change.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "You know, these popcorn strings are looking a little skimpy. But you wouldn't know nothing about that would you, Uncle Phil?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "I don't know what you're talking about. And I suppose this is the one-armed man The Fugitive was looking for, huh?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Hey, little fellow, Santa let you out of the workshop early?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, you like my outfit? I had jingle bells sewn into my cuffs.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, but it's all right for him to think Santa's only three feet tall.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "I was mauled in the Saks shoe department. You need a license to drive, but they'll let anyone shop.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Children, there is no point in competing over who got Nicky the best present. That's right, because you'll all lose to me.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Hey there, G I don't mean to be rude But take your jelly-roll butt And go get me some food", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "So that's where the cereal box tops went.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "That is a hand puppet.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "He's so cheap, he'd probably make Nicky a vest out of the lint from his pocket or something.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Hey, is Nicky gonna love this or what?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, man. Yo, me and this kid are definitely blood.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Santa left it in the men's room.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "I got him Boyz II Men, man. I used to hang with them back in Philly.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Come back here! Well, this is a christening your family won't forget. Come back here!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, cheese steaks, Liberty Bell, man, West Philly!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Listen, I stole her from this old four-eyed, big-lipped dude, right? Used to be singing these stupid songs on the corner.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "I cried myself to sleep every night about that. Did I say I was from Philly? I'm from Pittsburgh, man. Go, Steelers.", "c": ["Nate", "Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Where's your Christmas spirit? You're a nun for God's sake.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "What am I gonna get him, a mop?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, I did. And I guess you found it.", "c": ["Vy", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "And I guess you found it.", "c": ["Vy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Okay, now I remember where Will gets it from, right?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "How come ain't nobody tell me Halle Berry was going to be up in here?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Your generosity knows no bounds, sir.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, damn.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "You know what? You're right, Carlton. You're a genius, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Honey, I think your wig is on too tight.", "c": ["Vy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "When you hear this story, you are gonna laugh.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "It's stolen.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Mind the booth. Gotta tinkle.", "c": ["Mall Santa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "So much food, you'll think a supermarket blew up.", "c": ["Will as Santa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Yo, that's that fool that stole Nicie.", "c": ["Nate"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "I guess Will's coming with Boyz II Men. Do you think I should report my missing Santa suit to the police?", "c": ["Carlton", "Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "I don't want my godson smelling that cheap perfume.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Geoffrey! Geoffrey! Somebody spill something?", "c": ["Vy", "Helen", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Oh, madam, I don't know what to say. This is the best Christmas gift I could ever get.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "This is the best Christmas gift I could ever get. Thank you.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Look, the truth is...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Look, the truth is...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Merry Christmas, Will.", "c": ["Boyz II Men"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "That's a good story, Daddy. Can I see my godfather now?", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "Now, get me some hot chocolate.", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Twas The Night Before Christening"}, {"t": "So, Will, I'm off like a dirty shirt.", "c": ["Branford"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "There's definitely some perks to working for NBC.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "You can sleep under the couch, you squidgit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "These are big, mean, nasty, bug-eyed...take-over-the-human-race kind of crickets, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Listen, if you're gonna hold the popcorn, make sure you hold it up in plain sight...so when he go reaching for the bucket...he don't miss, talking about, 'Oops.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "And if he tells you to pull his finger, don't do it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Daddy never gave Hilary a curfew. - He was probably hoping she wouldn't come back.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, he probably thought you was hot, creamy and rich. - Oh, yeah, that's it. I was pretty sure I wasn't mountain-grown.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "You know what? I know how we can make it even more like the study center. - I won't be here.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "I really don't feel like hearing about you and your little friends, okay?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Yup, even if we were insects, I'd be bigger than you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "I cracked it earlier when I had to write down...this honey's phone number right next to the periodical table.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Little Timmy took a drink But he will drink no more For what he thought was H2O Was H2SO4", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Little Carlton was a boy Whose body was short and stumpy He never shut his mouth So I kicked his little rumpy", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Little Carlton was a boy Whose body was short and stumpy / He never shut his mouth So I kicked his little rumpy", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "I haven't had one this good since I was strip searched at Dulles Airport.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Well, these fingers can work magic. Ain't that what the honeys tell me, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "I've never seen a mugger at the Pussycat Theater.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Idiot.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Maybe we should just try a bottle and a warm bath. - Thought you'd never ask.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "It's not made from nuts, it's from beans, so I guess I'm beans about coffee.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "I've always wondered, if coffee's made from beans...does that make it a vegetable?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "What do you think is propping up my makeup table?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Yeah, you also thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Look, Ashley, listen. Guys are only after two things. - I thought they were only after one. - Well, yeah, but they wanna do it more than once.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Amazon women had just bound me with sinuous vines...and were taunting me with tangelos.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "What the hell is a tangelo? - 'Tangelo', the fruit of a hybrid citrus tree...that is a cross between certain varieties of grapefruit and tangerine.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Yes, perhaps the scent of sea breeze...will recall some painful memory for him, and then he'll commit suicide.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Remember last year when I skipped school...so I could pre-register for jury duty?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Must be the ventriloquist of the animal kingdom.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Now I know how Captain Ahab felt when he was chasing Moby Dick. - Between the two of you, the cricket is the whale?", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "'Unemployed. Out of work, jobless, not being used. I.E., a person who does not have a job.' See, the answer is right at your fingertips.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Oh, well. I guess sometimes that little hardworking head...just gets squashed into a little black spot, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Yeah, I was only doing it to get in good with the professor. Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to bring him some cupcakes.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Not exactly. The second definition of throttle is, 'To strangle, choke.' Killing is the result of throttling.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Or whenever you move out of the house. Whatever comes first.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Ding-dong, the cricket's dead Ashley's grounded Now you all go to bed", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "The Menendez brothers will be free before I am. - The Menendez brothers got home on time.", "c": ["Ashley", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Well, the only chemistry I needed...was between me and the honey in the next seat. You know what I'm saying?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "You're not really gonna let people think you cheated?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Sleepless In Bel Air"}, {"t": "Behind every successful man, there's a woman. But if you wanted to switch positions, I'm with that too, know what I mean?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "You're not gonna let a silly little thing like profits stand in the way of my promotion, are you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Very meticulous. Bakes me fresh muffins every day. No. No. No, he's not:", "c": ["Professor", "Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Get to the insulting part. 'Hilary Banks doesn't know the difference between a cirrus cloud and a cumulus cloud.' What is the difference? Will, look around. Do you see my TelePrompTer here?", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "I don't know. Let's see. Short, obnoxious. All you need is a bad haircut. And your ears.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Fruity Pebbles! And there's a little tugboat inside, Ross.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "How do they feel about guys who still depend on the crossing guard? Hey, that's a dangerous intersection, mister.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Especially Master William who will discover the joy of working for a Banks.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Oh, well, you know, sort of like your lectures. Long, stale and full of baloney.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "I'm stupid. I just failed, didn't I? Look, check it out, here's a sub on the house. Instant A.", "c": ["Professor", "Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "So she'll see me again? Oh, no, man, she hates your guts. Hey, but look, there's always more fish in the sea. I should know. They call me Aquaman.", "c": ["Dexter", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "That's fly, ain't it? I like to think of it as my own Sistine Chapel.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, Phillipe's been in there worshipping for two hours.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "My name's Will. Welcome to The Peacock, where our motto is: Girl, whatever you got, I want it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Will, you're getting it all wrong. Hey, look, man, as long as I'm getting it.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Yes, sir, General Shorcoff.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Can't you just throw them in jail or something?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Did you really refer to Hurricane Robert as Bobby? Well, Robert just sounded so serious. It was serious, darling. It wiped out half of Miami. Well, excuse me for trying to spread a little sunshine.", "c": ["Philip", "Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Someone who knows what it's like to be hated. 555-9021. Oh, Shannen? Hi. Hilary Banks. You remember that I Hate Brenda thing that you went through? What do you mean you don't know me? You spilled a drink on me at Roxbury. Hello? Boy, she's not gonna make many friends with that attitude.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "What do you mean you don't know me? You spilled a drink on me at Roxbury. Hello?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Look, I particularly recommend the shrimpy cocktail.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Carlton, I think we need to have a little talk, man. You know, bird to nerd.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "So, ladies, have you decided? Drop dead. Excellent choice.", "c": ["Carlton", "Customers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "We've got these people by the textbooks. We can charge and pretty much do whatever we want. This is like sex to you, isn't it? Yes.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "You're just some butt-kissing, apple-a-day suck up that got lucky.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Count your blessings.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Otherwise, I'd be out parasailing with these.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Oh, damn. That mean they took down the Naughty Nightie girl.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "If I watch the weather in New York, I'll have a three-hour jump on the competition. Honey, that might not work every time.", "c": ["Hilary", "Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Chance of snow and a minus three wind chill. Well, my work is done. I'm going shopping.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Now, dress warm, it's gonna snow.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Also, we are pleased to announce that the proceeds from our new pay toilets have enabled us to buy this brand new metal detector.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Remember, less flatware theft means lower prices for you, our valued consumer.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Peacock-a-cola? I made that one up myself. It shows.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Phillipe told me you cut the teeth marks off the pickles and reuse them.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "My babies. Even Oliver? He has a heart murmur. Even Oliver.", "c": ["Jazz", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "If anybody asks, I've been with you all day.", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Who is this Bosnia person I keep hearing about?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Will, you can't be happy here. This is a franchise. The kind of place where they treat employees like faceless, anonymous nobodies.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Will Smith, come on up here. I know you've only been here four days, but the staff has voted you employee of the week!", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Oh, Carlton, save me from this hellhole.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "All those summers at business camp were just a waste of time.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "But together we'd smell like success.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Beg? I don't know how to beg. I'm rich.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "Look, a man's most valuable possession is his self-respect. Make it 2000. All right, let me go get my hat.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "Whos The Boss"}, {"t": "See, now that's exactly why people be pushing you down the steps.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Like you care. / You see, now that's where you're wrong, my little pet peeve.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, sir, he came out to bet $500 on the game.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Who would do such a thing? / Guess we can rule out Notre Dame.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "So, what's it gonna be, regular or grape-flavored Gatorade?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "None of those guys will leave the locker room...before they rub me for luck. / Sure they not just rubbing you for fun, baby?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "It pays to have friends at the urology lab.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Now, why would I steal something I can't sell?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Well, the Jazz I know didn't need a reason to do something stupid.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Daddy, there's a man under my bed and I didn't tell him to hide there.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "How are they going to fence all that crushed velvet?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Won't we be in the way? / Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go check my head for molt.", "c": ["Vivian", "Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "God, where was this? / 'Mortal Kombat' by Sega.", "c": ["Philip", "Security Guard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "So I put on this real sincere face...before I knew it I had this cop convinced I was Sidney Poitier's son.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Who? / Hello? / Percival, our beloved peacock.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Hand me my head. / I'd love to.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Can't he be like other dogs and quietly lick himself?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Strudel, schnitzel... / Mercedes.", "c": ["Philip", "Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "He's a quick little sucker, isn't he?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "I think my Aunt Helen dropped him on his head when he was a baby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Carlton wouldn't miss that game for all the cheese in Philly.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "It could be worse. I mean, he could have been dipped in 11 herbs and spices.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "I mean, he could have been dipped in 11 herbs and spices.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "He's not exactly Vince Lombardi.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "What's that lumpy thing on the back of your neck?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "I guess it's just like the American flu, just colder.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Just ask Flat Nose Gary.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "And if they don't have it here, you gonna get it there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Well, I got me a little rumpus in that room the other night, you know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Restraining order. It's a long story.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Only if he hasn't eaten.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "My God! Somebody stole my Mercedes.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "But you're awfully cute when you grasp at false hope.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Dweeb? / Well, I was going to say loner, but that too.", "c": ["Amanda", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Well, I'm late for the game. Bye.", "c": ["Amanda"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "I think you're taking this jail thing just a little too far, buddy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Gets a little funky in there too, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.36, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "You big bunch of babies.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Their nose.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "Let's be honest, we don't even know if half you all are gonna graduate.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "That's right, you guys, it doesn't matter what we do, we're losers.", "c": ["Coach"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "I escaped while the housekeeper was changing the newspaper.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "and you strut like you've never strat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "What, powerful hind legs with a colorful tail?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "He's a quick little sucker, isn't he?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "I Know Why The Caged Bird Screams"}, {"t": "If I had two sets of lips, I'd kiss myself.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "We'll be melon balling at 0600.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "She put her bra on one cup at a time just like everybody else.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I'd pay big money to see that.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Well, you overlooked one small fact, Carlton. What's that? You weren't invited.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "The glasses have spots on them. Oh, my God. Why didn't you come to me sooner?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Today, Michelle Michaels, tomorrow, Gloria Estefan. And then, dare I dream, Michael Bolton.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "People act so stupid when celebrities get around. I need a reality check. You, waiter.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I think it stinks. I apologize, Miss Michaels. He's from a foreign land.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Back to work, Vladimir. Carlton Banks here. I balled your melons.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I've been back here. I couldn't hear anything. All I heard was: [mimics muffled sounds]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "You know, Miss Michaels, I thought your album stunk too.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Hey, I checked her coat.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I wonder who'll play you in the movie of her life?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Nothing too fancy. Something in a hatchback will do just fine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Hilary. Oh, that's all right. Don't worry about it. Aunt Viv, you can still surprise me with that red sweater you hiding in the upstairs closet.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Are you stalking me?", "c": ["Michelle"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Your second song on your third album is so cool. Who was Omar? Is he your boyfriend?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Pardon my little sister. She doesn't know how to talk to celebrities. So, Mich.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "We're not hip, so we don't know your music. It's nice to meet you anyway, though.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Don't think of me as just a manservant, think of me as a pleasure dome.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "See, tonight is dime-a-frame bowling night, you know. Top scorer gets those cute little shoes and I just couldn't miss that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Listen, she got a private jet. She has yacht. Does she have a brother?", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "We're going to the Golden Choice Music Awards. They got us sitting between Ike and Tina just in case something flare up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "No, there's gonna be patchy morning fog with limited visibility.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "All set. I ordered a Sunny the Seal ice-cream cake. His sleek little body is made of chocolatey goodness and he balances a ball of tutti-frutti sherbet on his buttercream nose.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "You are way too into this.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Jazz, to what do we owe your presence? My guess would be inbreeding.", "c": ["Philip", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Oh, no. You don't understand, Mrs. Banks. She don't come in naked.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Sergai keeps the salon open till 9. I'm gonna see if he can squeeze my head in.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I'm just glad that the Saint Bernard didn't have to suffer.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Frank and Kathy Lee came over with that little dude Cody. He made bubbles in the Jacuzzi without the jets on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Will, this Maria Shriver... full-figured gal?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "A cleverly orchestrated ruse, bub. And to think, I laid out 50 big ones on your damn cake.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "The one that goes: [Carlton singing Sunny the Seal jingle]", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Damn. And I mean that in the nicest possible way, Hil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I look like a troll doll.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Sleep with one eye open.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "You mean, which superstar would I choose?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "You mean, which superstar would I choose?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Listen, make sure they don't let you in, okay?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I got Vegas, you, me... a black dude and a white dude beating each other. Life is good.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I got Vegas, you, me... a black dude and a white dude beating each other. Life is good", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Rick Benton. We shot a swimsuit video in Tahiti. Guy?", "c": ["Rick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Yeah, you were the April fool, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Why don't you and your Motown-revival haircut go back to your seat, shave your chest, shut up and just watch the fight.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "How did I know he was gonna fall on Sinatra?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I just gave one to the paramedic.", "c": ["Michelle"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "There's 'Untouchable.' There's 'Never Going To Settle.' There's 'Wham Bam Goodbye.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "They showed that on TV? From the first shove to when Sinatra put his toupee back on.", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "You trying to say that the only reason I loved her was because she was rich and let me sponge off of her? Then I love you too, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Then I love you too, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "We waited an hour and a half. What's a couple more days?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "When You Hit Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Everybody gets stood up once. - Once a month?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Look, chances are, a girl who matches up with you... has already taken her own life.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I'll be back in the stockroom in the dark.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Carlton. - No.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "What took you so long, girl? Damn.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Once the bread is in those little slots, you just slide the lever down?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Not now, I'm learning how to cook.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Gee, Uncle Phil, how are you gonna top last year?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Valentines fun for you and your lover... come sing at the Peacock for a 10 dollar cover.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Gosh, for real? Aunt Viv, can I be excused from the table? I'm just too darned excited to eat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "But Mom, Dad, I've reserved special seats right next to the speakers for you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "You big romantic guy you.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "This is going to be a breeze.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Oh, God.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "This is not going to help my reputation.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Boys will not even come near me... at school without having a lawyer present.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Yes.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Will, the last time daddy drove me and my date to the movies... he wound up sitting in the two seats behind us.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "See, this girl that I'm dating tonight is kind of like a 6.6 on the Richter scale... so I wanna be there, you know, for all the aftershocks.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know what you're saying. I'm doomed.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Free Willy. Beethoven's 2nd? The Return of the Care Bears? - Oh, that was my first choice.", "c": ["Phil", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Oh, but if your mother asks tomorrow... I didn't get any extra butter on my popcorn.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I'm not gonna have my daughter involved in one of your wild evenings.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "We playing miniature golf.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "That'll be cool unless the church group shut that place down, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Well, I was thinking... we'd run some guns to Nicaragua... but we'll probably just come home.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "But if anything happens to her, those hands will be without fingers.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Yes, sir. Lose my fingers, sir.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Now I know, most of you are wondering two things: 'How does he dress so well?'... and 'What is this thing called karaoke anyway?'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Actually, karaoke has two definitions. Carry, as in carry a tune... and oke, as in okey-dokey, let the good times roll.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Philip, why don't you be a man... and admit that you forgot Valentine's Day.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "All right. I admit, I just forgot. How come you don't forget Thanksgiving?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Look who just floated in on cloud nine, Philip and Vivian Banks... two people, who, over the years, never stopped loving each other. I should know, my room was just down the hall.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Let's get out of here. - Just...", "c": ["Phil", "Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, it looks as though she's getting some help from her caddy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Will, I thought you were the announcer. Hush up, I'm trying to help you with your form.", "c": ["Samantha", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Stop, not in front of your cousin. - Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right.", "c": ["Samantha", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Come on, let's go out to the car. - Stop.", "c": ["Will", "Samantha"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Probably the same thing you were saying to girls when you were his age.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I doubt it. When I was his age, I was trying to get the girls to...", "c": ["Bryan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "No, no. He's just a little kid and so is Ashley.", "c": ["Bryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Not so little, Will. She is a beautiful girl. Didn't you see what the putter guy did? - No, what did he do? - He dropped her ball on purpose.", "c": ["Bryan", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Now, why would he do that, unless he was trying to check out her...?", "c": ["Bryan"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "No, look, that is not possible.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Hey, when I was 15, it was possible. Yeah, but you was a little freak though.", "c": ["Bryan", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "No, I'm just saying things were a lot faster in them public high schools.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "She goes to Bel-Air Academy. I went to St. John's Parochial.", "c": ["Will", "Bryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "You still got that little dress and them shoes?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Hey, Carl Lewis, put a move on it. Hey, take it easy, Pops, you'll be in a hole soon enough.", "c": ["Will", "Bryan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "That's a really nice outfit.", "c": ["Bryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Hey, look, if I make this putt, you got to promise me that you'll... Oh, Will.", "c": ["Bryan", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "But there's really nothing to it.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Oh, Miss Hilary, could you pass me that heavy iron skillet over there? Hello. How thoughtless of me.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Hilary"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "No. Can you say that to me? Well, let's try it again. No. By George, I've got it. - No, no.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Good God.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I think there's something wrong with the stove.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Hole in one, yes! My first one ever.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Hole in one, yes! My first one ever.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "That bird just doodied on your head. Will, I got a hole in one. Oh, you'll do better next time, baby.", "c": ["Bryan", "Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I got a idea. Hey, how about we switch partners. You go down there and play with... - Samantha. - Thanks a lot, Ashley.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Oh, you got another hole in one, baby? You good.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Gosh, it's getting warm out here. - Why don't you take your jacket off?", "c": ["Ashley", "Bryan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "See... It's some killer bees coming from Mexico. And they could strike at any time. And they love teenage flesh.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Thanks, but I'll risk it.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Just don't worry, man, I ain't gonna let no bees get to this honey.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Okay, Junior Mac, listen. I think, it's time we had a little chat, mano a boyo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Will, what are you doing?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I think, the problem is something called a double standard.", "c": ["Bryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I know that routine... I invented that routine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I see right through you, you little dog.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Fun? Does this look like a place to have fun? I don't think so. Ain't nobody gonna have no fun up in here. Not me, not you, not her... - And definitely not me.", "c": ["Will", "Samantha"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Goodbye, Will. Whoa, baby, come back here... What is her name?", "c": ["Samantha", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "The word was out on your father... but who knew your whole family was crazy?", "c": ["Bryan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Hey, let him go. Let him go, baby. And good riddance, you little Filthy McNasty.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Will, how could you do this to me? To you? Ashley, I'm doing this for you.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Look, let me make it better. I'm gonna buy you some ice cream. No, I don't want anything. You're worse than daddy.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Nice job, Cupid.", "c": ["Bryan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "That's what I call a happy Valentine's Day.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Yeah, right, like you can handle some big old dude trying to be all over you... like cheese on a Big Mac.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Will, maybe I like cheese.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "How you gonna like something you ain't never had? Please tell me you ain't never had no cheese, Ashley.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "It's cheese, Ashley.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Maybe we need to send you to an all-girls school, you know. Just so you keep your head on your studies.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I took it out when I put in the hot tub.", "c": ["Duane"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Or wasn't there a sign or something in the trailer park?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "But while I'm here, maybe I can adjust your attitude.", "c": ["Duane"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Some old lady fractured her hip and broke her leg in five places. Do I have the worst luck or what?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I was supposed to go out clubbing with the Maytag repairman. He don't get out much, you know.", "c": ["Duane"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I'm too good for you.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I usually don't say this to a woman, but you know what? You're probably right. Happy Valentine's Day, pretty lady.", "c": ["Duane"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Duane? Do you fix microwaves?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Stop it, Vivian. You don't wanna be here any more than I do.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I work very hard... to provide a good life for you and my family. And every night, I hold you in my arms, I kiss you goodnight. I don't need a holiday to tell you that I love you. I show you all year.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "We're going to Paris on our anniversary. Philip. Oh, that's next week. It is?", "c": ["Phil", "Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I just paid a 10 dollar cover to spend Valentine's Day with my parents.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "You took a bus?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "I did. That's why I kicked that old nasty boyfriend's butt out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Hey, a little less yelling and shouting, a little more humming and clapping.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "We was at the Putt Putt Golf and she was necking.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "You little Filthy McNasty.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "Stop Will In The Name Of Love"}, {"t": "Now, look, Uncle Phil, we don't need nothing too fancy...as long as it's got vibrating bucket seats...a refrigerated glove compartment and a license plate that say:", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "How about a '94 you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "What are the honeys gonna say about a dude cruising around in one of these?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "They'll say, 'Why, there goes a thrifty, level-headed young man.'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Yeah, right before they say, 'And I'll never have sex with him.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, you not seriously considering...making me drive this Carltonmobile, are you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "So why you taking that out on me?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Tow trucks used to follow me around like vultures.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "There you are, Uncle Phil, 25 years younger...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "...thousands of pounds thinner...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Wind blowing through your big old fro.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "There go Philip Banks, he is a bad mamma jamma.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Right on, sisters.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "To hell with the Accountant, I want this.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "And that's the story we'll tell your mother. Thanks, Will.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Yo, a grand?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "What? Another zero?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Of course, my pile would be bigger.", "c": ["Fletcher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Negotiation sequence with escalating demands", "c": ["Will", "Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Say, baby, with all that butt, you might be needing a hatchback.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "No offense, Will, but I would never buy a car from you.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "And I'm the Baroness Natasha. I am on holiday in your country with my husband, the baron, and my lover...Gustav.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Yes, of course, I take six. Gustav, pay the man.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "You most certainly are.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Peasant!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Al Green and the Isley Brothers. - Sookie, sookie, now. - Baby.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, are my pants wet?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "What you mean, legally?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Yes, sir. Five times this, carry the six, and add a zero.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Whoomp, there it is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Isn't this great? Family fun and no Will.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Of course not. Geoffrey picks it up.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "It's clear your teenage daughter is not enjoying the tedious board game...being played in a forced family-bonding moment. What do you do?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "That's what it says on the card.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "College isn't for everyone, and if Will is happy I think we should all be happy for him. / Ashley, go to your room.", "c": ["Ashley", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Hilary's success is contrary to the laws of nature. Totally inexplicable.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Okay, fine. I'm telling your mother.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Yes, it is. If I'd waited a few days, I could have bought that car from you wholesale.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Who said anything about leaving the lot?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "That's all right, I have a real friend at the bus depot.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "This chair is made out of leather, isn't it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Did you know I have six kids?", "c": ["Harrison"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Sure, especially since Mary died.", "c": ["Harrison"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "He's my brother.", "c": ["Fletcher"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "That's three less mechanics to worry about.", "c": ["Fletcher"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. Come on, man, you missed a spot. You're fired!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "You're fired!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Get on out of here before I have to take my belt off.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "You're beginning to scare me. Can I adopt you?", "c": ["Fletcher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "I guess none of them good salesmen either, huh? / You're beginning to scare me. Can I adopt you?", "c": ["Will", "Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Well, 10. One of them had an exploding gas tank. As far as I'm concerned, once they leave the showroom, it's a sale.", "c": ["Fletcher"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Yo, man, that's my mom.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "So what? A sale's a sale.", "c": ["Fletcher"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Who the hell are you?", "c": ["Will's Mom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Oh, really? You ever been beat up by a woman?", "c": ["Will's Mom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Not without having paid for it.", "c": ["Fletcher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Sir, that's a sponge.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "She threatened to enroll herself.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "Then how do you explain being a lawyer?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "I'm going to get another piece of sponge.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "Youd Better Shop Around"}, {"t": "I just came back from the free clinic, and guess what I got? The phone number of those two nurses we met.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Yo, the twins that sleep in the same bed?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Actually, cover my next three shifts. You know how demanding twins can be.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. I just remembered, I can't go. Well, why not? I'm getting married.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "I saw her on Cops, getting busted for grand theft auto.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Jazz, the woman's a convict? We prefer the term 'freedom impaired.'", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "How about the term 'not playing with a full cell block'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "But the truth is, behind these shades, there's a big, empty hole.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Well, that's for damn sure.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "My other friends pretend to like me for my money. That's because you owe it to them.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Why not. It's free.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "We follow an execution.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Officer down. Officer down. We need backup. Get her off of me. She's biting my...", "c": ["TV Audio"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "What's wrong with her face? Sweetheart, it's electronically scrambled.", "c": ["Hilary", "Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Up till today, Jazz was available. Now that he's getting married... well, forbidden fruit always looks more tempting, doesn't it?", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Mother, for God's sake, he's half your age.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "I give it three weeks. The marriage or her parole?", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "But, you know... But it wasn't like I was gonna need them. After all, I wasn't gonna have any fun anymore.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Man, Uncle Phil, I knew you had a man-size appetite, but both feet?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "I mean, even though I am just... a poor black man trying to get my education.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "If Jazz would just find some bimbo to get his mind off of Hilary... I'd be more than happy to pay for the wedding.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "I could call it a rehabilitation party and write it off.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Check it out, you're a judge. You can perform the ceremony. Pay yourself 25 bucks. Fifty. Pay yourself 100. It's your money.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Marry me, Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Very funny, Will. But while you're playing with dolls, I'll be securing the premises. I mean, we are gonna have a convict in the house.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Oh, is she pregnant too?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Somebody wants to know where the bride is registered. Gillespie Liquors.", "c": ["Unknown", "Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "I also put my diamond cuff links in a balloon and swallowed them.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "That's more than I ever wanted to know about you, Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Hilary, will you get out of my way? You're blocking my view.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "There's a lot to be said for a woman who's been in prison a long time.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Hey. Yo. Hello in there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? As far as I can see, this here's the best man. I love this bony butt.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "I also noticed you have a very small head.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Thanks, and I guess it's true what they say: Can't buy good taste. Hey.", "c": ["Jewel", "Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "See, the prison therapist says that I should say what's on my mind... and not keep too much bottled up, otherwise I'd... you know, go out and do something stupid like hotwiring a Lexus.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Although it did get me on prime time.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "I just wanna say, if you ever hurt him... I'll hunt you down like the dog that you are, and kill you.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Well, gotta go shop for your present.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Beautiful and nuts. You must be very proud.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "You know, a cup of coffee, a blood test.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "It's already zipped up. I know. I want you to zip it down.", "c": ["Will", "Jewel"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "You know... if somebody was to walk in here right now... they might think you was hitting on me.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Trust me, if I was hitting on you, you'd know it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "No, no, no. Uncle Phil, this was like one of them Fatal Attraction elevator-scene kisses.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "She was like a little naked Velcro midget.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Next thing I know, she leans across... and fastens my seat belt. You know what I'm saying?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Please don't do that, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. With a bar stool, on the head.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "I gotta find somebody else to talk to about this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "She touched me, Will. And I know she'll touch you too.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "We're gonna have 10 kids. One for every month of the year.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "But we gonna name them all after you. Jazz, hey, you ain't got to do that, man. Okay, then, we'll name them Earl.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "We gonna keep our kids out of reform school.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Oh, I just wanted to thank you... for picking out these lovely yellow-and-green ensembles.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "And now, if I can just have your thumb.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "You know, I resent being treated like a common thief. Oh, you do, do you? Well, what kind of cold-hearted, vicious, evil crime did you commit? Securities fraud.", "c": ["Prison Guest", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "You know, I resent being treated like a common thief. Oh, you do, do you? Well, what kind of cold-hearted, vicious, evil crime did you commit? Securities fraud.", "c": ["Guest", "Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Really? An inside trader? So are you here alone?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? Jazz ain't got no friends. I hired these people.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. What am I saying?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "I ain't never owned anything that still had the serial number on it.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "No, really, I can't, I'm on parole, I'm not allowed to leave the state.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Damn these good looks of mine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "And on top of that, you ain't even that good-looking.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Well, damn.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "You know, whenever we go to a nice restaurant, he carries my tray.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "And when it's time to skip out on the check... he always holds open the bathroom window for me.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Do you know where my mama was married? No, where? I don't know. I was hoping you did.", "c": ["Jewel", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "You're one jewel I never wanna hock.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Sometimes I wanna bite you to see if you're really real.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "If love was craps, you'd be a seven. If it was on the first roll. But if it was on the second roll, and the point was six, you'd be a six. No, actually, you'd be a nine. I'd play the field on the second roll, make a couple of extra bucks. Then you'd be a six on the third roll, and then I'd clean up.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "You know what I'm trying to say. I love you, and you make me feel lucky.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Thank you for setting this little jailbird free... body, mind and spirit.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "The Ol Ball And Chain"}, {"t": "Maybe if I get lucky...we'll have a little action adventure of our own. You know what I'm saying?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "I'm the Man-dingo", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Lisa will watch what I tell her to watch and she will enjoy it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Terms of Endearment, Fried Green Tomatoes...and The Joy Luck Club. Shall I get us some hankies?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Will's stunned silence/reaction to Lisa's movie choices", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Have you no shame? Yeah, I'm ashamed of you.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Swell. That will go great with your Weezy collectible cups.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Hey, Kool-Aid!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "I don't know, Dad, that limbo bar gets as low as 13 inches.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Oh, and sir, the limbo bar is set at three feet when you're ready.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "He couldn't make that lying flat on his back.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "I want you to meet my father.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "I got us the Wilt Chamberlain suite. With the electronic scoreboard over the bed and everything.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Well, before you and I get into a little one on one...you're gonna have to talk to the head coach.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, don't be using my analogy against me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Oh, not the ears, baby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Keep doing that, we're gonna have to dig up his daddy, I'll talk to him too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey, we're not non-profit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Sorry I'm late...but after I left church, I went down and read some books to the elderly.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Like James Earl Jones. 'This is CNN.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Well, we've only had two food-related deaths in the past month.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "It's a joke. I'm joking. I'm pulling your leg.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "And if you don't mind me saying so, that is a lovely picture of your wife. I see where Lisa gets her good looks from.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "That's not my wife. That's my sister-in-law Cecilia. She's so ugly, she'd make an onion cry.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Actually, I was being polite. She is a dog.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, she's so ugly, she could make a freight train take a dirt road.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Train whistle and sound effects implying the train changing course", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "You talking about my family, boy?", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "You know what, I like you.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "'Meticulous.' Hey, now that's a word you don't run into every day.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Say, why don't you fly to Frisco with me? You can help me with my vocabulary.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Me, scared? Hell, no.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Hey, do you think you could just land the plane, you know...and I'll just walk back to L.A.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Oh, flying upside down makes you a little queasy, doesn't it, boy?", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "You might as well admit it, boy, you're like a squirrel trying to get a nut.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "How many times did you put those rusty, crusty lips on my daughter?", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "The engine's dead.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Faster than a bucket of chicken at Oprah's.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Let me tell you, I'm from Philly...you've gotta wake up pretty early in the morning to get me with some old...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Your damn chute wasn't supposed to open.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Your plane wasn't supposed to crash neither. I guess you just having an all-around bad day, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Our precise position is somewhere...over some trees and rocks and stuff.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Mominimum? Don't you understand English, boy? Mominimum.", "c": ["Lisa's Father", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Good news. We found the plane. It's totaled. That's good news?", "c": ["Ranger", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "If I knew that, I'd be working for the Psychic Friends Network.", "c": ["Ranger"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "So you're gonna be twice as upset if they're dead, huh?", "c": ["Ranger"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Now, you listen here, Mr. Park-Ranger- Psychic-Friends-Network-freak.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Look, a party sounds like a lot of fun, but can we please find Will first?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "This is our stuff!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "We wasted four hours traveling around this stupid mountain.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Stop spouting all that witchcraft.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "What the hell does that mean?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Please, you're like 479 years old, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Oh, fine, that makes it easier for me. Old man, huh? I've got you now.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Coyote howling sounds", "c": ["Sound Effects"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Right now I bet George is calling somebody a jive turkey.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry. If he can survive there...a couple of snakes and bears aren't gonna bother him.", "c": ["Ranger"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "And that was just the mild.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "That ain't happening with us.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Not even a little.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "The defense rests.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "But don't you care what she wants? - Nope.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "I mean, that's so much responsibility. I really should be out there looking for your cousin.", "c": ["Ranger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Don't worry. Will likes to sleep in.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Kind of looked like the beer commercials. Except there wasn't no naked honeys. There wasn't no beer.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "But he said, 'No, you go on without me...I wanna stay here and be at one with nature.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "You can't be at one when you two.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Outside is a trail of hot sauce. Light a match, take you right to him.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Red Rooster? Anybody, give me a hand. Squirrel! I need... Give me a piece of cheese, I'm hungry.", "c": ["Lisa's Father"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "The Harder They Fall"}, {"t": "Well, maybe it would have worked if you had taken her too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Sorry, it was just a little collegiate humor.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Finally, after two years... I realized that Janice wasn't gonna have me, so I settled for Vivian. With Vivian. With Vivian!", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, prepare Mr. Banks' couch.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "It's in your tie drawer next to the Pringles.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Least that's better than the Kit Kat he keep with his drawers.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "My horoscope was right. This is my lucky day.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Maybe science can just come get her brain now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "She's 18. - Good answer.", "c": ["Aunt Viv", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Men.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Well, number one, because I don't be saying stuff like 'opt.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Number two, because Geoffrey still has to cut up your food.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "With all due respect, young sir... I've seen you in action with women, and quite frankly, you're an idiot.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Oh, you were shaving your nose? Okay.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Damn! - Damn!", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Oh, Phil, please stop. - Yes, Phil, please stop.", "c": ["Janice", "Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "and they preempt your favorite programs. I remember during Desert Storm, trying to find Knots Landing...", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Perhaps after dinner... we can go for a drive and talk about it in depth.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "I said I'll pay you when I get out!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Oh, the Arthur Murray Dance Studios. - Tango?", "c": ["Will", "Wendy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "That's fine, that's fine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Well, you know, it was kind of like Shaq picked up the pool house... and he was shaking it, you know, like them little snow globes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Was that baby Nicky? - No, no, baby Carlton.", "c": ["Mrs. Robertson", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Well, he's kind of like a 10-year-old trapped in a 12-year-old's body.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "And frankly, I'm a little uncomfortable with this higher level of comfort.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Listen, my uncle has a fat problem. I should be more sensitive.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "There's a picture right there of you with no bathing suit top on!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Well, you know what? I'm gonna run down to the lobby, get some of them free brochures, you know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "No, no, no. They was in two separate rooms, and I wasn't in either one.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "You're over 5 feet, aren't you?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "See, now, Cleopatra Jones, see, she got that karate stuff, right? She got some sweet moves on her. Plus, she be packing heat. But Grace Jones, she just scary.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "because, you know, my Uncle Phil likes to eat while he cooks... and might not be nothing left for nobody else, you know what I'm saying?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "How would it make me look?", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "You know, I still have that halter-top.", "c": ["Janice"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Saint Bernards are friendly. But even they don't slobber as much as you.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Well, she ain't get away from me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "You slept with Janice!", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Ashley, go to your room. - Oh, I love this!", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Have you ever seen your mother naked?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, go blame it on me!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "You can sleep on your couch.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "From now on, I'm only dating girls with ugly moms.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "M Is For The Many Things She Gave Me"}, {"t": "So leave a message, unless this is Carlton, in which case, don't.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Will, it's Carlton. I got an emergency.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Who was that? - It's just a wrong number, baby.", "c": ["Will", "woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Now, where was I? Oh, there I was.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Jazzy, maybe we should revise our plans. You're right, my pet. Let's unpack after we eat.", "c": ["Will", "Jewel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "I told the landlord, I don't you repainting our apartment. Those stains have memories.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Jazz, homey, look, now, you know, mi casa es su casa. But, look, tonight, mi casa es mi casa.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, I do. I'm really hungry.", "c": ["Will's date"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Hey, baby, baby, I can have some Rotiserie Gold here in six minutes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Munchkin, perhaps our visit is a little ill-timed.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Don't worry, me and Jewel could sleep out on a park bench. I hear rain is nature's moisturizer.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Either his head's getting smaller or his butt's getting bigger.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "There's a whole army of these action figures around my bed. They're fertility gods, Carlton.", "c": ["Jazz", "Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Wait. Y'all trying to have a baby?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "...but it's kind of close quarters here... so you think y'all can put a boom-shaka-lock on it for a minute?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Not on my Posturepedic, bud.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "The doctor at the clinic says this is when I'm at my most fertile... which reminds me, sweetie. I took my temperature, all systems go.", "c": ["Jazz", "Jewel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Permission to board the mother ship.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Carlton, relax, I'll get you some new Barney sheets.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Hey, Jazz. This ain't funny, man. I command you to stop.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Roll away from the woman.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna go sleep with Mom and Dad.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Careful Uncle Phil doesn't roll over on you again.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "But since you ain't getting us no wedding present, this is the least you could do.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "What are you talking about, man? I gave you a wedding. Take that to the bank.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "I think you mean 'having a baby,' Jazz. Trust me on this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Yo, crank it up!", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Hey, take it easy in there, we're not insured.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Well, I don't think it's a very good idea for Jazz and Jewel to reproduce. Right, big guy. The prisons are crowded enough.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Let's see, there's 'some kind of perfume or something,' from Miss Hilary. 'A book might be neat,' from Miss Ashley. And, 'here's 20 bucks and I expect some change back' from Master Carlton.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "'A book might be neat,' from Miss Ashley.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "And, 'here's 20 bucks and I expect some change back'... ...from Master Carlton.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "I got my Mom something she gonna love. She always wanted to get my baby shoes bronzed, but she never got around to it. So I hooked her up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Those are your baby shoes? Well, yeah. I had big feet.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "You know what they say about a guy with big feet. No, what? They be saying, 'Damn, you got some big feet.'", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's right. Feel ashamed of your sorry selves. You feel ashamed of your sorry selves.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Makes me wanna do something special for Mrs. Banks myself. So you don't want me to get the usual dozen roses? No, that's good enough.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm surprised y'all can walk.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Your levity is inappropriate. We've been at the free clinic all morning... to find out why my oven is as yet bunless.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Y'all haven't been baking long. Hey, and I'm sure, if you stick with that recipe... you'll get the ingredients mixed up...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "I mean, we ain't never gonna have a baby... because my little soldiers ain't marching.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Jazz, didn't I tell you to not be wearing them bikini drawers? You told me not to wear them in the streets. You ain't tell me not to wear them.", "c": ["Jewel", "Jazz"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "We can't afford another free clinic.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Never heard two people try harder.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "I want your little soldiers.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "What do you say? Can I have your baby? I'd really appreciate it.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "I don't want your body, Will. I want your little soldiers.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Do I look like the U.N?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "You hear that, munchkin? He's giving us a VCR too. He's so full of love.", "c": ["Jazz", "Jewel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Remember that time we went to go play ball... and your shoelace broke and I gave you mine? Same thing.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "I mean, you got a good heart. And you got a lot of smarts... and you're tall, and you got good teeth. Of course, we'll be praying he gets my ears.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "How about a toaster?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Yes, so think about sleeping on the couch for a while.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Hilary, you can't even make change. Oh, yeah? Well, you can't even make... Oh, shut up.", "c": ["Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Don't try to talk. Let's all just share this moment.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "You're a little embarrassed, aren't you? Don't worry, we're all professionals here.", "c": ["Clinic worker"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "You kidding? I come here once a week. Why? Well, a lot of couples wanna have babies and can't. I like to think of myself as nature's middleman.", "c": ["Regular customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Kind of like a Johnny Appleseed without the apples, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "'Heard you had a stroke'? It was the closest we could find. You know, for some reason, Hallmark has overlooked this occasion.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "No one must know of my secret shame. The oath.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "You know, that's not exactly the image I need right now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "That boy down there has got good genes. That boy got good genes. You can't play no ball like that without having no good genes.", "c": ["Will's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Will, but you don't belong here.", "c": ["Jazz Junior"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Ready, Mr. Smith? No, I'm not. I don't belong here.", "c": ["Clinic worker", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Oh, we didn't order. This was here when we sat down. They're cheap tippers too. Less than 15 percent.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Babies. I mean, they all bald and stanked up and nasty...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "How the hell did that happen?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Hey, listen, they having a kid and I ain't had nothing to do with it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "I know we invited you to dinner, but would you mind paying for it? I saw my picture over the cash register.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Come on, Jazzy, let's hit the salad bar. I brought my big purse.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "You know what they say. 'Easy come, easy go.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "No, you... No, thanks, man. You know what? You know what? I just lost my damn appetite.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 23, "et": "Mothers Day"}, {"t": "Man, you ever feel like you was being watched? / All the time. When you look this good, you have to get used to it.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "When you talk that stupid, you have to get used to this, man: [Will presumably hits Carlton]", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "See that dude over there? He been scoping me since he got here. I think he's a cop. / Turn yourself in, Will. It's the only way.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "You're right. You're right. [pause] Wait a minute, man. I ain't do nothing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Uncle Lou, it's me, Carlton. Did you bring me anything?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "I guess we all have a lot of catching up to do. Let's see, where do I begin? Well, when I was 6, we all moved from the hood... And here I am today. Excuse me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "When did you get so tall? / Mostly during the '80s.", "c": ["Lou", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Wow, 14 years. You must feel like you're on a roller coaster of emotions.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Let me hold you. [presumably awkward hug]", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Still a stone cold fox.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "I asked Geoffrey to tell you. I thought it might be more fun this way. And I was right.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "I stopped on the way home. I had a few drinks. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm fine, I'm fine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "If I can stop him from coming home.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Will's father is a deadbeat who left him and his mom flat.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Oh, that was fun.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Why is there a truck parked in my...? What are you doing here?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Who knows if we'd ever see you again? Come on.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "You mean he's your... / Yeah, that's right. He's my Lou.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Then why'd you run out on him?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Why didn't you send any back to the wife and child you abandoned?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Shall I call 911?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Please, you was up there screaming so loud... I thought I was sitting next to Patti LaBelle.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Okay, fine. He's puffed up like a blowfish and bald as an egg.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Were your ears burning, sir?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Fourteen. / Excuse me, 14 years.", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "The master lives a life of ease / While we live life upon our knees / Waste not your tears / And save your breath / For soon he'll die a violent death", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Works for me.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Daddy, I had a little accident at the mall. I'm okay. But I totaled your MasterCard.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "He's like a genie on Valium. Make a wish, hurry.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "I hate you! / Oh, yeah? Well, take a number.", "c": ["Carlton", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Here comes Mr. Sunshine. / Shut up, Geoffrey.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "And yet, it's come back with a vengeance.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Somebody's being selfish all right, but it isn't Will.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "You're not gonna hit him, are you? Because I don't wanna miss that.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "You're not gonna hit him, are you? Because I don't wanna miss that.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "I just wish I hadn't wasted my money buying this stupid present.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 24, "et": "Papas Got A Brand New Excuse"}, {"t": "Sir, I hate to disturb you during feeding time...", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Uncle Phil, he's got... a business card.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "How much? / Shut up, Carlton.", "c": ["Carlton", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "How much? / Shut up, Carlton.", "c": ["Carlton", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "I'm going to pack my stuff, all right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Let's hope so. / Very funny, Carlton.", "c": ["Carlton", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "My father would kill me if he knew I was out with a boy tonight. I told him I was going to church. / The Lord is good.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Well, you are pretty slick, Will Smith. / And, I ain't even oiled up yet, you know.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what? You can sell the house. It's the couch that got the memories.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Out where? / To the trash cans. You know, those things you hit every time you back out the car. / Thank God, I thought it was the neighbor's kids.", "c": ["Hilary", "Vivian", "Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "This is gross. I don't touch greasy, disgusting things. / Well, just pretend it's buying you dinner afterwards.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "And for your information, dinner comes first.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "It was amazing and endless and magnificent. I think I saw God. / Don't stop.", "c": ["Carlton", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "You'd think in a house this big, a fellow would get a little privacy. / Or stronger doors.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "If we end up moving into another guesthouse... I'm getting the bedroom this time.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Don't worry, we'll bring a shoebox you can sleep in.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "I can. How about sharing a jail cell with you?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Well, isn't that the munchkin calling the midget short.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "What are you supposed to be? / My idol, Macaulay Culkin. / And you know why he's my idol? / Why? Because y'all the same height?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton", "Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "And to think, I laid out 50 big ones on your damn cake. And not just any cake, I got you that really neat one in the commercials.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Well, how about I'll take 'always embarrassing me' for 500, Alex.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "You're proud of me? You never said that to me before in your life. / Give me a hug. / You see, man, that is exactly why I'll never tell you nothing.", "c": ["Carlton", "Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "We got some baby Tylenol in the kitchen.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Yes, there is a God! / Look at you all. Will say something. / Ching, ching!", "c": ["Carlton", "Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Ching, ching!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Now, listen, Uncle Phil could put that money in the bank, right... and then start getting all kinds of crazy interest. Then it's bonds, and then there's that T-bill stuff... and then they got some certificates, and then junk be compounded. / What are you talking about? / I have no idea.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "A lot more than you, Carlton.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Can I blow in your ear? / Why? / I don't know, I heard Will say it.", "c": ["Robert", "Ashley", "Robert"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Hey, Ashley, you ain't telling me that dude blew in your ear. / Me either. / I embellished.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "This is a stick with a snake wrapped around it. / It's a symbol, like Prince. / Prince who?", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "This", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "See, that's exactly why fathers ain't allowed at the mall.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "It's a symbol for 'get out of my house!'", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "I think you must have her confused with your mama.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "He says it's time for me to leave the nest, become independent... and have sex with girls. / Safe sex, mind you, but lots of it.", "c": ["Carlton", "Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "That life is one big orgy. / I ain't never said... / College is hard work, son... followed by a family, which is even more hard work. And a teenage daughter who doesn't wanna be seen with you in public. And a wife who won't let you anywhere near her. And a butler who may be the father of your child.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "You big-eared freeloader! You take your little square-headed cousin here... and you find Geoffrey, and you bring him back... or they'll never find your bodies. And I'm a judge, I can make it happen.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "All right. All right, so I have an ugly side. / And you could write 'Goodyear' on it.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "I ain't no bungee expert or nothing... but I don't think he's supposed to be slamming into the ground like that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "If I hadn't asked for a special proposal... Trevor would be in my arms... instead of in my purse.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Hilary... Trevor wasn't cremated. / Then who's this?", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Whatever he hasn't eaten.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, go fetch my tools. / You mean your knife and fork?", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Five months this Tuesday.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "I weigh the same thing I weighed in high school. / Yeah, if you add up all four years.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "It's The Donald! Oh, my God!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "You know, you look much richer in person.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Tell you what, throw in another 50 grand, I'll cut the grass for you every Saturday.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "And all this time I thought our address was 805 Saint Cloud Road. / It is, Hilary.", "c": ["Hilary", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "It's just as well, it's too much of a fixer-upper.", "c": ["Trump"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "He'll be the guy carrying the millions of dollars in cash.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Of course, I do hear Des Moines is great this time of year.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 25, "et": "For Sale By Owner"}, {"t": "Don't you mean \"Brotherly Love\"? / Take my word on this one, Carlton.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "No country club reciprocity.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "God forbid she should send a picture.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "It is a damn shame when people are spoiled by money.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "G, put some butter on that, bring that out to me in the car.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "I spent 10 years customizing this thing to my boogie.", "c": ["Aunt Vy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Now, I don't want none of y'all sitting in it and stretching out my sweet spot.", "c": ["Aunt Vy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Don't make me kill you in your mother's home.", "c": ["Aunt Vy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Yeah. I mean it's so... poor.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "What's Happening! Or What's Happening Now? / What's Happening! / Neato! I get to be Rerun.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Hey, Mom, listen, you should probably make sure that Uncle Phil sleeps on the bottom bunk. Because if he get up on the top bunk... Well, you know gravity ain't no joke. You know what I'm saying? He could end up in China.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "How about if just I left?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "That's what I get for being considerate.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "You're cheating. You're cheating. My mama cheating.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "How come we never had that much fun? / I don't know. / What's on TV?", "c": ["Carlton", "Hilary", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Right about now, I bet Geoffrey is turning back my covers and putting a little mint on my pillow.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "And your feet.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "What do you have to tip the maitre d' to get a good stool?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Why don't you take your Bing Crosby butt over to the golden arches and lie down in front of a drive-through window.", "c": ["Duke"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Four Joe Frazier's in cheese trunks.", "c": ["Duke"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Wrap one in fungus.", "c": ["Duke"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "You call that pathetic strip of graffiti-littered concrete legendary?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "How come I got older, but you didn't?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Duke's sandwiches, a fountain of youth.", "c": ["Dick Clark"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "One Will Smith.", "c": ["Duke"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Only instead of fighting, he ran clear across the country to California. He was a chicken to go.", "c": ["Duke"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "The ears were a little bigger, but it is you!", "c": ["Duke"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Hey, it's got a good beat, and you can run to it.", "c": ["Dick Clark"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "California's the other way!", "c": ["Duke"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "That's funny? / I ain't laughing.", "c": ["Will", "friend"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "We can't. All our relatives live here.", "c": ["Friend"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "I just went to visit y'all for four years.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Hey, mister, there's nothing worse than dirty Dockers.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "The dude that be spinning me over his head in the opening credits.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Yo, remember in junior high when he stole the principal's car just to run him over?", "c": ["Friend"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "If I win, I need a witness. If I lose, you're my blood type.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Gee, this playground makes the other one look like Club Med.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "A bad smell isn't worth a mouthful of bloody Chicklets.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "It's like his brain is so tiny, if he shake his big head like this, it'd sound like a BB in a canteen.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Me and Carlton can take you. / You and who? / Carlton. Ain't that right...? Carlton?", "c": ["Will", "Omar", "Will", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "That's made from the part of the pig that's not good enough to go in sausage. / But it's good enough to go in Philip.", "c": ["Hilary", "Aunt Vy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "I don't know, I'm supposed to be in England. Get some English muffins.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "There is room for one more.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "You're the chicken sandwich guy.", "c": ["Omar"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "You so ugly, when you was born, the doctor just slapped both your parents.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "She is like a doorknob, everybody gets a turn!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "I guess the mom's the red button.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "That's my rep.", "c": ["Omar"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Maybe you can come back when they make it to the World Series. / I can't do it.", "c": ["Vy", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Maybe you can come back when they make it to the World Series. / I can't do it.", "c": ["Aunt Vy", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Just watch it on TV with the rest of us.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "You mean I was in a garbage can for nothing?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Look, when we get back, Dad will buy us a stoop.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "I'm not.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 4, "e": 26, "et": "The Philadelphia Story"}, {"t": "Hey, Smith. / Yo, man, what's up? Come here. / What's up? What does this contract say? - 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.' - That's right, not Philadelphia, Bel-Air. - Yeah, man, but, you know, my mama- - Get in the van.", "c": ["Will", "NBC Executive"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "If you need me, I'll be hiding the silver.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "I tried to get in touch. Where are you staying? On the street. At least until Jewel lets me back in the house.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "By the way, who's playing the mother this year?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "It's the same mom. Who are you?", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Man, I'm going back on the street where things make sense.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Hey, Uncle Phil, man, I gotta give you props for investing in this record store, man. That must've been a lot of money. How much are we really worth? We? [LAUGHING] 'We.'", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "It's your opening, I want to look beautiful. Well, Vivian, I don't have that kind of time.", "c": ["Vivian", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Am I antagonizing like Geraldo? Am I investigative like Donahue? Maybe you should go bald like Montel.", "c": ["Hilary", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Just G, but we don't take him nowhere anyway.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil chuckles when Will suggests managing the record store", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Will suggests adding 'X-rated skin flicks' to make money 'hand over fist'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "[YELLING] I mean, Mother, you watch my show, am I too soft-spoken?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Why, son, when I was your age and I was working on that farm... boy, I had to work from 9 in the night to 9 forever. I just worked and...", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Ashley's song interrupts Carlton's rambling story", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Will's 'Ching-ching!' reaction to hearing Ashley sing", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "You'd be surprised what a little creativity in the studio can do. Ask Janet Jackson.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Well, you're certainly losing that battle.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Now, we better start our walk, Vivian. Baskin-Robbins closes at 6.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil says they need to walk to Baskin-Robbins because it 'closes at 6'", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "We ask his permission, he says no, we do it anyway.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "You know me, the pool party at Q's crib. I'm sorry. Q doesn't have a pool.", "c": ["Will", "Receptionist"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "You feisty, huh? What, are you Creole? That's it.", "c": ["Will", "Receptionist"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Speaker for Mr. Berry. We didn't order any speakers. It's a gift from Sony Music... from Mr. Sock-It-To-Me.", "c": ["Will", "Receptionist"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Will pretends to deliver speakers from 'Mr. Sock-It-To-Me' at Sony Music", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Hey, listen, I am the one that is responsible... for getting Ashford and Simpson back together. I deserve a damn Image Award. Quincy? Oh, come on, man, he gets one every year. The cheapskate, he won't even buy a pool.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Will says Quincy Jones won't buy a pool because he's a 'cheapskate'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "[Long phone conversation with lots of 'uh-huhs' and agreements while Will sneaks around]", "c": ["Gordy Berry", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Hey, did you know James Brown got an orthopedic cape?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "But you know what? You better get a good look at this face and remember it... because when Ashley Banks' album goes double platinum... you're gonna be seeing it in your dreams and in your nightmares... because you ain't the only game in town.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Oh, and p.s... the Jheri curl played out with the jerk.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "This is the music business. You need the universal lubricant. I'm talking cash, man.", "c": ["Johnny C"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Brother, I was just cleaning the executive suite up on the 24th floor. They're talking about getting rid of you. Yeah, say you're slipping. One of them said your mom have a limp.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Will does multiple fake caller voices requesting Ashley's song, including threats to 'blow up your car'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "[IN HIGH VOICE] How are you doing? This is Rafica calling from Watts. Ho! Could you play that record by Ashley Banks called 'Make Up Your Mind'? I'm with this man who can't make up his mind.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "[IN FOREIGN ACCENT] My name is Tony. And I'd like to hear that record by Ashley Banks called 'Make Up Your Mind'... before I have to come down there and blow up your car.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Will tricks someone by saying 'There's nobody up there' then 'Made you look'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Get it? Feather, peacock. [CARLTON LAUGHS]", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Damn, she must have stage fright. Carlton, help me. Sorry, folks, wawhhh, a little technical difficulty.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "He got a wooden plate, found out he got termites.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "That ain't help nothing, did it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Don't you give me that look. Vivian, she's giving me that look.", "c": ["Phil", "Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Shadow? Uncle Phil, with you, it'd be more like an eclipse, wouldn't it? [BOTH LAUGHING] Eclipse. Eclipse.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "You know, just for that crack, I'm gonna make myself co-manager. One fat joke too many. I knew it, I could feel it.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "The Client"}, {"t": "Negotiating for a bigger royalty? / No, a better table.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Hey, now I know how Hammer must have felt the week he was famous.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Like white folks watch Wings.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Yeah, Rob, Fab. Blame it on the rain, brothers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "I'm having a bust of my head made. It's getting helicoptered in on Thursday.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Then blang, over to Phoenix. Then bap, bap, bap, bladow, over to Orlando. Then blip-bloop, we gonna slide up to Seattle.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, no, bro, I said 'I got dates.' See, I got Tina in New York. I got Beth in Seattle. Ohh. Actually, I might need a couple days in Seattle. Beth is a big girl, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Absolutely. Most of the arcades are losing money.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "We gonna set up lunch with her and Tevin Campbell. Midway through, she gonna stand up, take a drink and splash it in his face. Right? Then she slap him, call him a punk... Then we plant a story that Tevin been sleeping outside her crib with a rifle.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Then you can be there for him.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "That went great.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "I was with Tisha last night. I can't walk that fast.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Who the hell are all these people?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "I'm just the man behind the man.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Tito, Jermaine. Your pick.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "This is better than television.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Oh, great. Now we'll never know how Will took the news.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "All this money for rent and I still got roaches.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Point? I have no...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Well, gee, I could have sworn that Vivian and I had something to do with it.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Home? I have no home.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "I got the worst luck with tenants.", "c": ["Mr. Weisman"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "It's so hard to smack you upside your head when you're not here.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Gee, she hides it so well.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Perhaps later on we could pour some water on her and watch her melt.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Don't just stand there, Ashley. Call him a good boy and toss him a treat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Oh, really? So thanks. What the hell is my problem?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Right, just like you launched Ashley's career?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "So young, so bitter.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Somebody need to snatch her big helium head down out the stratosphere.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "I would have been happy paying you a token salary while someone else did the real work.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "And, face it, you're small potatoes.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "I'll show you how small my potatoes are.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "The resemblance, much like the beat, goes on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Come on, Bashley.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "All I got was a promise she wouldn't press charges.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Just ask Kim Basinger.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Man, that song is weak. / Last week.", "c": ["Kid", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "The kids got sick of her.", "c": ["Jerry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "How much is 15 percent of nothing? / It's... Okay, 15. Hold up, 15, carry the zero. Fifteen... / Nothing, you math whiz.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Well, it's nice to know my family was rooting for me to fail.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Or if not, we can use it to prop up an unlevel table. You know, so it don't wobble.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "No, cold-and-flu season.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Whats Will Got To Do With It"}, {"t": "Will, you're just Nicky's cousin, I'm his brother. I'm a big branch of his family tree. Then why are your limbs so short?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Don't forget your flag, though. What's a day at the Nixon Library without Old Glory?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Everybody going to the beach say, 'Kowabunga!' Kowabunga! Hey!", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Man, now who does a thing like that? I know, can you believe her?", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "I'll get her. And her little car too.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Will's come a long way from Philly, but let's face it... he's still a common street hood from the wrong side of the tracks. So will you help me?", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Oh, gee, you know, when you put it that way, no.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Dude came out, started that joint, it was like 'kaboom!' Boom!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "What a wonderful lesson for Master Nicky. Perhaps now you could teach him to run with scissors.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, if I were a potato, where would I be?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Yeah, me and Will are going trolling for slimmies.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Look, Ashley, it's Daddy's mad face.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Come on, Nicky, let's go upstairs before Daddy's head explodes.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Oh, kind of like Michael Bolton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Will locked me in the closet. That's so tired.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry, Mom, it only happened once. You meant Nicky, didn't you?", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Oh. Dougie? That big, dumb, orange whale that be singing them stupid songs?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Those are life-affirming little ditties... that bring joy to the young and young at heart.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Now, can we think about this for a second, please? Now, Dougie loves everything. People, am I the only one that finds something terribly wrong with that?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "I love bugs and I love death, I love oozing flesh wounds", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Mommy! Mommy! Will! Will! What the hell is wrong with you?", "c": ["Nicky", "Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Well, he is a whale. Maybe we should go look for him at the beach.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Hey, someone check the damn level.", "c": ["Dougie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "That's it. You SOBs better pull your thumbs out... and get your freaking acts together.", "c": ["Dougie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "I think something must have crawled up his blowhole.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Last time a Dougie concert was canceled, kids went crazy and trashed a babyGap.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go back and have a mammal-to-mammal with Dougie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Aren't you a little old for this crap?", "c": ["Dougie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Then the little brat got his money's worth. Now beat it.", "c": ["Dougie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Um, look here, you big orange Moby Dick.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "I know this isn't as glamorous as your job down at the mini-mart...", "c": ["Dougie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "You pushed me, called me 'punk.' That's funny.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Oh, it's on now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Okay, time for another song. What are you doing to Dougie?", "c": ["Carlton", "Child"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Oh. We was just playing, y'all. Hey, sorry. I need a drink. You hurt Dougie. I hate you, Will.", "c": ["Will", "Dougie", "Nicky"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Get him! No.", "c": ["Children", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Nicky and I are gonna be spending more time together, especially since he's... M-A-D at W-I-L-L.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Mommy, I H-A-T-E them.", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Heh. Really? It's hard to imagine you being quiet for that long, Aunt Viv.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Didn't you chop the head off her teddy bear and flush it down the toilet? That's how I got over it.", "c": ["Will", "Vivian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Wielding? I was not wielding, I was rubbing. I rubbed that damn potato all over Leeza's car... and it didn't make a scratch.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "At least they didn't catch me putting my keys in her exhaust pipe.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Hilary, you were suppo... Never mind.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Oh, right, the guy inside Dougie.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "That damn whale got him brainwashed.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Yeah, Shaft. And how did you feel when you found out that Shaft wasn't real? What are you talking about?", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "No, I'm saying, he was based on an actual guy. No, he wasn't. He was too, Ashley. Shaft is fictional, Will. I'm saying, he went to Africa and everything.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "No, I'm saying, he went to Africa and everything. / Shaft is fictional, Will. / I'm saying, he went to Africa and everything.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "In rehab.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Yes, but I so rarely have a woman scream my name... I was rather enjoying it.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, if I knew how to use the VCR, would I need this camera? No, I would not.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Ooh, that witch. So you see it too. All I see is a beautiful woman... perched atop two of the most finely sculpted legs I've ever seen.", "c": ["Hilary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Oh, like those are real.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, whoa, the pogmeister's in the house. Who wants some?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Gets that from his mother.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Any other normal kid, you could just buy their love back.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Well, now, Will, as much as the idea of your reproducing scares the hell out of me...", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "How come you don't ever do that? Don't question me.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Wow. I didn't know you could read the paper. I can't.", "c": ["Will", "Nicky"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Here, read the personals, Nicky. Yo, hottie. Yo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Freeze, munchkins! They're not munchkins, son, they're elves.", "c": ["Will", "Santa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Who are you, Keebler? Oh, boy, you're not even close.", "c": ["Will", "Santa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. Santa Claus. Right on, yeah. Everybody knows Santa Claus is a Clippers fan. I am not. I just can't move these things.", "c": ["Will", "Santa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Maybe this year I'll put a brain in your stocking.", "c": ["Santa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Why do these make-believe guys keep pushing me?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Oh, here, here. You be a good boy. And tell Carlton to stop faxing me. I cannot get him into Princeton.", "c": ["Santa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "You know Santa? Know him? Who do you think gave him the idea for that mistletoe thing?", "c": ["Nicky", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "See, we was chilling back in Philly one night. It was me, Santa, the tooth fairy and Shaft, right? Who's Shaft?", "c": ["Will", "Nicky"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "See, Shaft was a complicated man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "See, Shaft was a complicated man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Reality Bites"}, {"t": "Will, classes have been in session for five weeks...and you're buying books now? / Yeah, I thought I'd get an early start this year.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Human Sexuality 420. / Four-twenty? That's a graduate course. / Oh, yeah, I did advance placement in high school. You know what I mean?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "See, we got this little game that we play. You know, I ask her out and she says no, you know. Right now, she's winning 64-zip, but I feel lucky.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Oh, why? Let me guess, you're not gonna ask me out today.", "c": ["Valerie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Oh, okay. Hey, you're fired.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "What's the difference? If you don't go out with me, you're gonna go out with me, you're gonna go out with her or her or her.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Now, come on, I mean, a guy can lie with his lips...but he can't lie with his eyes. [Will makes exaggerated puppy dog eyes]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Will, I will go out with you. But it's not because of those fool eyes you just gave me. Because I got no place else to go.", "c": ["Valerie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Why don't y'all roll past the crib...you know, around 8:00? Give me time to pad the headboard.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I'm kidding. You're sensitive, baby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Oh, please. I seen you out with plenty of women...who looked like they had a little chihuahua in them.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "If you're referring to Conchita, I don't see her anymore.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Carlton's defensive response about Conchita", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "You know, this housework stuff's kind of fun. Heh. / There's another one.", "c": ["Hilary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Since I married Jewel, I'm a changed man. Unless the double date's with Hilary.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Hey, brown sugar. [HELICOPTER WHIRRING] I gotta go.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "So you couldn't find anybody else? I guess I'm your only friend. How pathetic.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "When he's in the passenger seat, he turns ugly. 'You're going fast. You're going slow.' [IN DEEP VOICE] 'Take a left. Take a right.' [IN DEEP VOICE] 'I don't care how pretty she is, you can't drive on the sidewalk.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Look, Ashley, get out while you can. / Whoop, too late.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "What's wrong with her? / I don't know. It had nothing to do with me. I wasn't around. / I think she's drinking.", "c": ["Phil", "Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Would you like to ride In my beautiful balloon? We could float among the stars togeth... [STOPS MUSIC] What the hell are you doing?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Carlton setting romantic mood with balloon ride music, Will shutting it down: 'this is my date'", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "No, I don't think you understand. See, this is my date. You're just here running interference while I get my mack on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Superboy? Scratch the cool. You just chill a little bit. All right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Mm. God bless America.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Which one of these losers is my date? / That would be me. / Where's the rest of him?", "c": ["Karen", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Karen's height insult: 'Where's the rest of him?' about Carlton", "c": ["Karen", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I may be short, but you know what they say...about short men and tall women, don't you? / No, what? / I don't know, just making conversation.", "c": ["Carlton", "Karen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I got this crick in my neck right here that's been really killing me. / Let me help you out with that, cuz. [CARLTON GRUNTS] We do this all the time. / Carlton, get off me. Get off. Get off me!", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "No, this is 9\u00bd Weeks. / That is a sex movie. / Really? I thought it was a documentary about Vanilla Ice's career.", "c": ["Will", "Karen", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Are you crying? / Um... No, I think I've got something in my eye.", "c": ["Valerie", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Well, you know, sometimes I be at the crib alone...and I just be crying for nothing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "What a punk.", "c": ["Karen"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "You know, in case you haven't heard...tar and nicotine are damaging to your lungs. It isn't just a rumor, it will give you a tumor.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go outside and fire up a butt. / Wow, that sounds like fun. Huh? Huh?", "c": ["Karen", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I think he wants you to leave. / I don't want her to leave. I want you to leave, Carlton.", "c": ["Karen", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Fine. Oh. And they shoot the damn dog.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I cannot believe you and Will are related. You're so different. / Like you and your cousin.", "c": ["Valerie", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Yeah, thanks for putting up with her. / You know, most men find Karen kind of... / Scary. / Sort of.", "c": ["Valerie", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "No, this ain't Carlton, this is Will. / Oh, Valerie. Yeah, yeah, you know what? I got some choice words for you too, girl. How you gonna j...? Hello?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Master William...if you're serious, I could make a call. / I was just kidding, G. / Me too.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Maybe you should talk to somebody. / You're right. Look, Nicky, it's like this, man. We always make... / Not me. I'm just a kid.", "c": ["Nicky", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Driving lessons. / Lesson number one: Use a car.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Ashley. / What? / You're in neutral.", "c": ["Phil", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Ooh, cute boy, 3 o'clock. Ha, ha. / Keep your eyes on the road.", "c": ["Hilary", "Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Oh, look, there's Bruce and Demi. Hi. / Yuck, what is she wearing?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Stop. / What? / Cartier's having a sale. Pick me up in an hour.", "c": ["Hilary", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Turn your back, Carlton's liable to start eating and say: 'Oops. Dad, it just jumped in my mouth.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "That wouldn't happen if you treated the drumstick like a person...instead of a piece of meat.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "You know what, Carlton? You ain't nothing but a dog. / Oh, yeah? Well, you're an acrimonious, rancorous, virulent coveter. / Oh, yeah? Well, you ain't nothing but a dog.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I like Dad's stories. / And some day, I'm gonna tell my kids these same pointless anecdotes.", "c": ["Nicky", "Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Hold up a second there, Aesop. What's this apartment stuff? Thought you grew up on a farm.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Well, in the South, 'farm' and 'apartment' are interchangeable.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Okay, okay, I made it up. All right? Pfft. / Huh. I guess lying just run all through this family, huh?", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I'm not lying, you nefarious, degenerate miscreant. / Oh, like I'm supposed to believe that, you big dog.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Did you put super glue in my hair gel?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Hey, that's what you get for stealing my girl.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Will's comeback: 'So I'm the embarrassment now?' followed by Carlton's height jabs", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I didn't have to steal her. She was bored with you so she came to me, a real man. / So, what you saying? I'm not a real man? / Yeah, you got it.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "You should know...that all that 'yo, yo, hey, baby, bap, bap, bap' stuff is just played out. It worked in high school, but now it's just embarrassing.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Take it easy, stumpy. / You know something else? I'm tired of all those short jokes. I'm average height. / For a woman.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I'm large enough for Valerie.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Pfft. Like that hurt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Damn, still alive. / You know what keeps me going? The thought of dancing on your grave.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, good thing too, because I'm feeling dirty. Ha-ha-ha. / Tootsie roll.", "c": ["Will", "Nurse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "First you steal my girl and now you're gonna steal my nurse. / You old prune. I ought to knock your teeth out. / Go ahead, they're in the glass next to my bed.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I'm feeling the life being sucked out of me. Before I die I just want you to know that I... I hate you. Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I have a nephew with a possibly broken nose. And I don't wanna even know why your damn hands are stuck to your head.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "I should know you would never do to me the kind of things that I would do to you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "It was a lucky shot. / I hit you pretty square, Will. / Look, the important thing is that we get beyond that lucky punch.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "You're right, man. I'm sorry about the hair. Let me help you. [RIPPING] [CARLTON SCREAMING]", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Grumpy Young Men"}, {"t": "Two pair. A pair of red fives and a pair of black fives.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "According to my calculations, over the last three years... Jazz has beaten us for approximately $13,000.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "No? Where were you, Kalamazoo? Alabama.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "I witnessed a murder. [SINGING THE 'FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR' THEME]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Ain't nothing that me and Will don't know about each other. Except this.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "You all got different styles. My mom usually like to cook with her clothes on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "See, my moms won the WDAS-FM Back To Africa Contest. She spotted anything culturally wrong in The Lion King.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Of course, Curtis sees them all the time. He works at the post office.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Duke told them, 'Over my dead body.' I sure do miss him.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Boy, your choking days is over. You're going to jail, fool.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Floyd Palmer? Hey, look, no. Uh-uh. Come on. I'm more like a Malcolm Akbar Mustafa. It's taken.", "c": ["Will", "Agent"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Well, the nearest town is Hatred, Mississippi. I can check if there's dancing.", "c": ["Agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Of course I love you, Laqueesha. I don't think your butt is too saggy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Tough break. Your full house would have beaten my seven high.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "What life? I'm a married man. By the way, if Jewel asks, we were at our pottery class tonight.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Will, son, I'll tell you what I'm doing here. You see, years ago I fell in love with... and married a wonderful woman named Vivian. Vivian had a sister named Vy. Vy gave birth to a child named Will... whose sole purpose in life has been to make mine a living hell.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "whose sole purpose in life has been to make mine a living hell.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Is that a toupee? Yes, it's a toupee. It's a part of my new identity.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Where's the bathroom? It's right through that door. It leads outside.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "You better take this broomstick. There's something living in there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Carlton? There's no Carlton here. Thanks to you, Carlton Banks no longer exists. He's now Little Zeke from Cabin Creek.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "I hate to say it, Carlton, but you and your family are spoiled. Sure, there was a homicidal maniac looking for you all... but you still got a free vacation on the government's tip.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, how you gonna be mad at me? You always telling me to do the right thing. So? You never listened to me before, why did you have to do it now?", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Oh, can't. Tomorrow I start my new job at the manure plant.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "I hear you'd like to go dancing.", "c": ["Unknown hillbilly woman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Dear Neiman or Marcus, whichever of you gets this first. I'm being held hostage by my own government. Please send my fall/winter catalog care of Betty Mae Swilly, Deliverance, Alabama.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "But, uh, the kiln blew up. No, Jazz, he... He busy picking vase particles out of his butt. Ow! Ow!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, you'll miss the best part of the story, where we meet the bear. The bear? Oh, pfft, the bear. Yeah.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "I'm tired. How long have we been walking? I don't know. About three, four minutes.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Will Floyd, you ever been with a big woman? I was in the Statue of Liberty once.", "c": ["Bertha", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "What is that on your teeth? Pudding.", "c": ["Will", "Bertha"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Our neighbor Sue Ellen was cooking something she had run over. Sorry I'm late, but it was so beautiful I just couldn't leave the marina. Chateaubriand? Mmm!", "c": ["Will", "Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "There he is, Daddy. There's the dirty varmint made me pregnant. Hey, hey, wait a minute. I ain't make nobody pregnant.", "c": ["Bertha", "Hatfield McCoy", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "[WHISPERS] Oh, damn witness protection program.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "If you register at Tiffany's ask for Richard.", "c": ["Hatfield McCoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "And at least I have this picture of you to keep in my drawers.", "c": ["Bertha"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Hatfield didn't use deodorant.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "And then there was Posse which got killed at the box office.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "If you were me, you'd be good-looking.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "If you were me, you'd be good-looking.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "[IMITATING O'NEILL] 'I'm really going to enjoy squeezing the life out of you.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Because I got something that you don't have. Family. What are you talking about? I got a sister in New Jersey.", "c": ["Will", "O'Neill"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "What are you talking about? I got a sister in New Jersey.", "c": ["O'Neill"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "It was obvious the McCoys didn't know when to say when.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Say, my man, you mind if I run inside and put on a big pot of coffee?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Mister, consider yourself hustled.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Why don't you come over for some poker tomorrow... we'll tell you about Carlton and the alien.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go sit on a vase and get home to my wife.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Hey, good night, Little Zeke. [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Good night, Will Floyd.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "[WILL SCREAMING] That will teach him to play with me.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Fresh Prince The Movie"}, {"t": "Yo! A swap meet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "This is Mr. Culture.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "What a brother got to do to get some fries?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "See, and here, I can sense the juxtaposition of metaphors...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "...interspersed with the three-second violation.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "You're a jackass.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "I call this one Workmen's Compensation.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Autumn, my favorite time of the year. The leaves are falling and the hotties are pledging.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Baby, if I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Get it? That's a double entendre.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Oh, Grey Poupon to you too, girl.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "And I treat a woman like a king treats a queen.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Y'all remembered those, huh? Ladies, say goodbye to Will in his native tongue. [ALL BARKING]", "c": ["Sorority Girls"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "[Will barks back]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Your problem is that you can't understand or respect women... because you're not in touch with your feminine side. / You know what your problem is, C? You're not in touch with anybody's feminine side.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Well, what do you think? / It's... It's a... Blue.", "c": ["Ashley", "Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Tell me, sir, do I wash that or take a weed whacker to it?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Carlton, quick, get a bat, let's bust this pi\u00f1ata.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "I'd slip on the old dashiki... puff up the old fro... find a foxy mama, say, 'Hey, baby, let's get it on.'", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "And they bought that? / Actually, your mother was the only one.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "[WILL SCREAMING] Get out! What you doing, Barney?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Yo, man, where Helen at? / She's probably at the chiropractor.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Well, if you like this one, wait till you see the sequel. / You are a dog. [WILL BARKS]", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Little company? I'm more like the Fortune 500, you know? AT&T. Reach out and touch a brother if you got your bill paid.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "I was so lucky I found this hat. It was the last extra extra extra large.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "And I'd guess there's some laughing and pointing going on too.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Look at this. You could at least yell four!", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Sir, perhaps you could get them to erect... a fence. / Geoffrey.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Oh, well, you see, um... I'm not really that good at thinking on my feet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Just call me public enemy number one. / Beat the hell out of playing Stratego with Carlton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Oh, I mean, I know my rights. I think I'm entitled to one frisk.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Baby, you're kind of killing the mood.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Oh, stop bragging, you sick pervert. / Who's a pervert?", "c": ["Carlton", "Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "They're going to terrorize and torture him. / Oh, don't worry, it's all in good fun.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "So you mean to tell me for 5 extra dollars, I could get HBO? Okay, basic cable is cool.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Do I look like a fool to you? / No, not a fool.", "c": ["Lisa", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "I can't believe you two. Mustard is not the answer. / No, she's right. Get the soy sauce.", "c": ["Vivian", "Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Hey, nice sweaters. / Oh, Marachi. Our daughter bought them for us. / She's got great taste.", "c": ["Kareem Abdul-Jabbar", "Phil", "Kareem"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "These are my role models.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "How you doing there, Little Miss Mood Swing?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "You need to be worried about getting out. Them rubber rooms ain't got no windows.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "In what, bladder control?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Ugh! I cannot believe you sorority girls could be so devious. / It was actually your cousin Carlton's idea.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? You know what, I'm gonna pop that little zit when I get home.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "You don't care. / You're damn right I don't care. You damn near fricasseed me.", "c": ["Lisa", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "I deserve that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "I'm a dog. I'm the fresh prince of the pound. The doggiest of all dogs.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Hey, wait, wait, wait. Whoa, hold up. What, y'all just gonna leave me hanging up here like a piece of Rotisserie Gold, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "We got up there, the girl went crazy. She tied me to this chair, was trying to torture me. / No. / But I got loose, man. Then she really went off. So I grabbed this rock, man...", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "Gotcha.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Wills Misery"}, {"t": "And a plain brown package for me. I'll be taking my break now.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "And something's a foot and a half.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "She's amassing a private fortune so she can buy out the family business... in a hostile takeover.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "A sweater and a string of pearls and you'd be Angela Lansbury.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Well, uh, that sounds like the, uh, truth.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "If I know, I can't say I don't know when you get busted... and Uncle Phil start rounding up the usual suspects. And I am the usual suspects.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "You're worse than tripping. You've fallen and you can't get up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Everything's so fake at Bel-Air Academy. The teachers, the kids, the noses.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "I ain't gonna dime you... but if he subpoenas me, I'm gonna be singing like Luther.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "It's Hack Boy, the stubby-fingered avenger.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Maybe she's Counterfeit Girl, the sister of Hack Boy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Trust no one.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Dysfunctional, uh, single parent, uh, gang member nuns.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Why? What have Carlton and Ashley ever done for me?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Whoa, if it isn't Belly D. Williams.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Do I hate these things. - Why agree to be on the Board of Trustees? - Well, I'm a judge and judges are supposed to be on boards. - Well, it's just that with you, it's usually a smorgasbord.", "c": ["Phil", "Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "It's girl talk. (in female voice)", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.14, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "When we go shopping for my cap and gown. That's assuming that you're gonna live till graduation.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Ashley, let me sum this up for you in two words: Unh-unh.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "My fault? Oh, this one here gonna be good.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "It's like a drug, Will, and you got me hooked.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Well, you better go cold turkey before you wind up a dead duck.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "I'm a terrible, terrible person. [SOBBING]", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "What? You smiled. I saw your reflection in the window.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Oh, no. That was a happy smile. See?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "But if I go down, I'm taking you with me.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "There's my little bran muffin. (Will in deep voice as fake father)", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Rhaul, please.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "How could something so smooth be called sharp?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "God bless you, Miss Sharpe. (after fake Japanese)", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Uh, no, I'm single. I mean, um, Ashley's mother ran out on us.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "We went from training wheels to training bras. They both came off too soon, didn't they kitten?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "You know, that runs in the family.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Denzel ain't the only brother than can act.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "I made that up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "I, uh, forgot to give you the number to my direct line.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "That is an absolutely intoxicating fragrance that you're wearing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "That's a fake mustache. - No, it's not. - Yes, it is. - No, it's not.", "c": ["Miss Sharpe", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Will? / No, it's not.", "c": ["Miss Sharpe", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Look, ease up, Miss Tubman.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Then I should be honored that she thinks I look like a black Alfred Hitchcock.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Good evening. (imitating Hitchcock)", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Will has something he wants to tell you. I ain't got nothing.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Because most parents want the truth, but they can't handle the truth.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "So in conclusion, I move for a change of venue. You give us a half-hour head start.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "So in conclusion, I move for a change of venue. You give us a half-hour head start.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Tomorrow when I wake up... Ashley will be back in Bel-Air Academy and maybe Will won't even be here.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa. Pull it back, baby. Pull it back. Like I'm doing. Pull it back.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Oh, and people in Bel-Air don't have real concerns? - It's pronounced Porsche. - Porsche. - Porsche. - Porsche.", "c": ["Phil", "Hilary", "Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Whoa, good point, Ash.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "San Tropez. - San Tropez.", "c": ["Hilary", "Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Inga is wearing a hand-woven dashiki from Nairobi. Her jewelry is from the Ivory Coast... and her weave is from Whoopi Goldberg's House of Hair.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Work it, you Nubian princess, you. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "African Americans.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Oh, nice to meet you for the first time ever in life.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Whoo. She really something, huh? Hard to say no to her.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Snob.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "And a one and a... Hell with that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Maybe that's why they need metal detectors, huh?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Sometimes we work so hard to give our kids what we didn't have... sometimes we forget to give them what we did have.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "What are you eating? - Food. What are you doing? - Cutting the tension.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "So, what's today's black topic? Amish rap stars?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Thanks to my leopard skin midriff top, I hit an all-time high with male viewers.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "I got more men yesterday than Sally Jesse Raphael gets in a year. - How hard could that be?", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "How hard could that be?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Father Knows Best"}, {"t": "Twenty-one-eighteen, I win. Hey, you wanna play again? Same rules as last game? Yeah, sure. Zero-eighteen.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "I have a date. With whom? Same lady I see every Saturday night. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "I mean, come on. You're pretty, you're fun, you're intelli... Vision.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "I'm a beautiful woman trapped in an even more beautiful woman's body.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Didn't none of them kids look like me, did they, Uncle Phil? I was just checking, man, just checking.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "This isn't gonna take long, is it? I have a date. We know.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Where you all get married at, The Flip Wilson Show?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "[IN DEEP VOICE] You can bet your last money it's gonna be a stone gas, honey. And until next time, love, peace and... Soul!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "You played with a doll? Ain't... Ain't no doll, man, it's an action figure.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Afro pick sold separately.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "You was like a real cool, hip, handsome dude back then, man. What happened?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "No slap in the head or nothing. I'm scared.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Carlton, what's wrong, man? Are you having a Maalox moment?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Two things, Carlton. One, that's not dancing. Two, I would appreciate it if you stayed away from the show.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Again, two things, Carlton. One, because you say stuff like 'pray tell.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Well, let me break it down for you, Teeny Petito.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "It's not a doll, man, it's an action figure.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "And you got no business even being on the Soul Hyundai let alone the Soul Train.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Me? You're the embarrassment, you urban urchin.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Carlton Banks, soul brother number one.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Sweetheart, I think the suit's the same size. I said it must have shrunk a little.", "c": ["Phil", "Vivian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "A chili cook-off.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Uh... Besides, my feet hurt... and, well, I'm afraid my head will look shiny on camera.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "If that's a groove, the Grand Canyon's a ditch.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Look, Will, I'm not gonna have some platformed freak make a fool out of me.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "I danced at Sam Cooke's funeral.", "c": ["Lamont"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Overgrown Isaac Hayes-looking fool.", "c": ["Lamont"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "I'd build a fence to keep you away. One with barbed wire and maybe a sniper up on the roof to pick you off just in case you got over the fence. And given the slightest chance that he'd miss, there'd be two rottweilers guarding my problem.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "You don't want my help, do you? I'll go.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Get that damn flashlight out of my face!", "c": ["Will as Don Cornelius"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Action figure, action figure. Is that so hard to understand?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Carlton, he's not hurting her.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Sorry, I got caught up in the fantasy. About me? No, about that decent job.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "I don't have a date. Must you throw that in my face?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Oh, no, he was clipping his toenails, I took one in the eye.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Which is kind of difficult to do when you go there with somebody old. Oh, I mean... I mean that's kid talk, Aunt Viv. Bad means good. And stupid means great. And old means beautiful.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "You are so old. You are the oldest person I ever seen.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Is that your aunt? Oh, yeah, but we see other people. What a freak.", "c": ["Random woman", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Please, Miss Ashley, don't give me away.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Don't touch me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "[SCREAMS]", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Soul Train"}, {"t": "Oh, Casablanca always makes me cry. / Oh, good. I thought it was me.", "c": ["Lisa", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.41, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Can I...? / Can I see you...? / Can I see you... again?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "You know, I ain't talking about marriage or nothing, though.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Oh, do me, do me. / Hilary, you're August 18th. / Wow, you are good.", "c": ["Hilary", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Come see the amazing Rock Dwarfsky... the world's shortest square-headed Negro.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "What was he doing there?", "c": ["Family member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "What? / I've seen this look before. The facial flush, the flare in his nostrils. Look at his eyes.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "We choose not to define our relationship.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "God, I'm lonely.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "I wonder why you don't see a lot of black professional bowlers. / Ain't no money in it. Look... how much dough could a brother make endorsing a pair of these?", "c": ["Lisa", "Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Darnell Washington, pro bowler. Whenever I'm about to roll me a 300 game, I like to do it in these. Air Ghettos.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Girl, you just won yourself a date to a carnival with an ebony god. / Really? / I'd rather go with you.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Dark Gable.", "c": ["Antagonist"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Messy Snipes?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "A what? A Power Ranger?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Baby, you were on the floor. / That's how I fight.", "c": ["Lisa", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "You, sir, with the big ears. How about testing your skill?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "You, sir, with the big ears. How about testing your skill?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Got a noodle for an arm? / Carlton, that's Ken Griffey Jr., man.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Hi, quarterback. / How you doing? / I'm kind of chilly. Wanna take me to Hawaii? / Sorry, I'm married. / Then stop flirting with me.", "c": ["Hilary", "Ken Griffey Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Will, you shouldn't be threatened by my knowledge of shotokan. / Whoa, whoa, whoa. First, I don't care if you know Chaka Khan. I ain't threatened by nobody.", "c": ["Lisa", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "First, I don't care if you know Chaka Khan. I ain't threatened by nobody.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Carlton, can I confide in you? / I feel it too, Lisa. / Feel what? / Never mind.", "c": ["Lisa", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "You'd rather a guy bash your face in... than to have a woman who likes this face... step in and save it? / Finally you understand.", "c": ["Lisa", "Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "He says he's at the store.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "If I was with a wimp who couldn't defend himself, I'd just leave.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Hello? Mr. Yoshi? Yiki-Yo, Yoshi?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "[IN CHINESE ACCENT] Chan, you have offended my family. Now I must avenge my brother's death.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Hey, listen, man, I wanna be just like Steven Seagal. / Oh, you wanna be a bad actor. Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Will", "Mr. Yoshi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's cool, but can we hurry? I gotta whup somebody's butt quick.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Listen, can you teach me that thing... where you ram somebody's nose up into they brain?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Without what? / I see symbolism is not one of your strong points.", "c": ["Will", "Mr. Yoshi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Well, what did he do? / Last I heard, he was playing Diana Ross in La Cage aux Folles.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Counterfeiters, extortionists, car salesmen.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, this guy will let me punch him 10 times for 40 dollars? / Mention this ad, and he'll throw in a head butt.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Hey, man, where'd you get this from anyway? / I stole it.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Fine, take the money. But then what? Holed up in some fleabag motel waiting for the man to come and take you away. And all that's left is to walk that last long, lonely mile with the Lord's Prayer... / Will you give the man the damn money?", "c": ["Phil", "Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Hey, look, point it right at me. Make it look real. / Huh?", "c": ["Will", "Real Robber"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Jazz, you can take your fake cop. Lisa left. / Will, he's real. / And so is he.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Jazz, you can take your fake cop. Lisa left. / Will, he's real. / And so is he.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "And all that for only 40 bucks?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "And all that for only 40 bucks?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "But usually I know why I be tripping, man, but this time I don't have no clue.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Well, no, but I seen The Flintstones, like, five times.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Yeah. I got plenty of dudes out there still looking for places.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "No, I guess I don't. / Then why didn't you just say so? / Because I'm a man. Hmph.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Shouldn't you be out fighting crime?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "No, I'm crazy about you. There's a difference.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "I was trying to fight Akira's dragon. Only the dragon was from without. / Without what? / That's the same place the whole thing fell apart for me too.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Cool. But you know if we had the same job, I'm gonna still make more money.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Get a room.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "Love Hurts"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm trying to see how close I can get to your head without hitting it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "You know, you're not doing a very good job.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Now you're in trouble sequence and kiss", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean like in a suave, debonair, Denzel-ian kind of way, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Your mom goofy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "My horoscope said that I will prosper in my house. So I figured I better go buy one.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Nothing fancy. No more than six or seven bedrooms. And I don't even care if it has a wine cellar. For now.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I have discovered a unique method of savings. I never spend my own money.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "All this time, you've been hoarding your salary while feasting away on the family fortune?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "All I heard is that she's moving.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "CARLTON: Freeloader. PHIL: Undependable. ASHLEY: He's not a freeloader. CARLTON: Lazy.", "c": ["Carlton", "Phil", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "ALL: Yes, that's it. CARLTON: Exactly. We're going to go with goofy, Will.", "c": ["All", "Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Will, if there's one thing I know, it's about women not calling.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Pfft. I mean, if I put my mind to it, I could write in any one of them old magazines.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Pfft. I mean, if I put my mind to it, I could write in any one of them old magazines.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "A bubble bath? 'Marvin, take me away.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Oh, a coloring book.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Well. / Well, what? / Never mind.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I'm gonna call it Celebrities' Houses At Night.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Hey, man, look, I even trim my nose hair. Check it out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Will's romantic speech about Lisa", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Carlton crying and asking for a hug, then driving erratically", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Look like Bob up in there getting his freak on. Bobby, come on down.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Look at Richard Simmons in his back yard cooking them big old stank sausages.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "You're not letting your cerebellum rotate.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I'm ambidextrous.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Number four: Get naked. What? WILL: No, my fault. I was just kidding.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Good evening, you fine Nubian princess. I set up a little surprise for you tonight, so just follow instructions and enjoy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "When there's a sock in the door, you sleep on the lawn.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "'Jay Leno: Earth Enemy Number One' by Will Smith?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Well, at least I got paid.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Jay Leno is suing me for $10 million.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "How do you go from trying to make a little impression on Lisa... to being sued by Jay Leno for $10 million? / Um... I'm goofy?", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Um... I'm goofy?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I mean, he like Hugh Hefner. And I'm an innocent young girl from the Midwest.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I mean, he like Hugh Hefner. And I'm an innocent young girl from the Midwest.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I do something stupid, you clean it all up. The only difference is this time, I didn't do nothing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I'd pay $10 million to not have to hear that again. / I'd pay $10 million so I didn't have to say it again.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Hilary's elaborate maid route explanation for cocktail sauce spill", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "You're right. Who cares how far Hildegard has to walk?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "destroying the rain forest, the ozone layer... and the one tree that grows in Brooklyn.", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "You're liable for libel. Get it? Those are homonyms.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Carlton, your next crack is gonna be in your head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Listen, John. How long have you been a standup? / About 10 years. Why? / I just hate this part of my job. / What part? / Dude, you've been bumped.", "c": ["Will", "John Ridley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I won't even pick the cotton out of a bottle of aspirin.", "c": ["Will impersonating comedian"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I think I did you a favor, bro. Come on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "But I couldn't take it because I'm black. What I mean is, you know, the bottle had cotton in it, you know. Get it? Cotton. I'm black.", "c": ["Will bombing on stage"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "You, goofy? Gee, I can't imagine how she got that idea.", "c": ["Jay Leno"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "You are goofy, and you are an idiot. That's beside the point. It's kind of a romantic thing.", "c": ["Jay Leno"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I'm saying... What do you mean by 'wacky'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "I'm saying... What do you mean by 'wacky'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "No, he's not wacky. No. / She did not mean that. / No, I mean, you're an irresponsible lazy bum, but you're not...", "c": ["Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Wills Up A Dirt Road"}, {"t": "Well, you are what you eat.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Did you just call me a big old Butterball? Nothing gets past you, sir.", "c": ["Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "His corpulent flesh rolls around his bones like a thick chocolate pudding.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "He is so huge that food comes to him from the gravitational pull alone.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Is that your head or is your neck blowing a bubble?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "That elephant that trampled all them people called, he want his butt back.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Whatever the last bid was, you raise the paddle and double it.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "You know, it could be a girl or a guy or some mixture.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Why don't you just have him beep you?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Boy, Mike's really changed his looks since he started playing baseball.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Aw, please, man, getting rid of your beeper like getting yourself fixed.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Excuse me, but I'm, like, starting to sweat.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "I mean, you don't see me skateboarding with Montel.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Should've given Hilary the paddle. At least we'd be able to drive whatever she bought.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "I feel like I tried to snatch a cheeseburger from George Foreman.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "The Dana I was expecting would be sitting down on the toilet... not standing up in front of it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Let things flow naturally, right? Where did you hear that crock of garbage?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "I ain't gonna be sitting up in the crib like some Silly Putty sucker.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Carlton, you know the chicktionary rules. Right. Three feet back.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "You can, uh, think of tonight as an open house.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "I was just thinking about how they made Tom Cruise even whiter.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "You see, schizoid is a character that I do. Wait till you get to meet love boy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, we got the same barber.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "And as you get older, it might even seem commonplace.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "That was a shortcut to the diner where she worked.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "callback"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Phil singing 'My Girl' while Will starts crying", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Don't be ridiculous, Susan. The whole family would love to go on a 10-mile jog.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Yeah, you filthy stinking enabler.", "c": ["Susan Powter"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "I ain't got no time for buns of brass and brains of bricks.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "My uncle can't walk one mile in my uncle's shoes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Looks like Lorena Bobbitt got to this suit, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Oh, that's how I check them for ripeness.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "You ain't had no home training, that's what your problem is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "but when she threw out the strawberry Pop-Tarts, she crossed the line.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "I'm retaining water.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Well, it ain't Fat Albert.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "And that's when he's gonna pounce on you like a cheetah on a rabbit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "And that's when he's gonna pounce on you like a cheetah on a rabbit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Believe it? I've done it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Because I love you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Tomato, tomato.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "'Leather'?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Carlton... I give you my chicktionary. May it be as good to you as it has been to me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "Carlton... I give you my chicktionary.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "I can feel it. I can feel the power! Yes!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Will Steps Out"}, {"t": "If we're so rich...why we can't afford no ceiling?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Really? Even with all that in common?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Really? What did he do? - He died.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "What you talking about? You hate liver. - Exactly.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Listen, I've tried, but he likes that shirt.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Then why did they keep trying?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Don't know, I'm starting to think you were adopted.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Sir, that's a finger bowl.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "For 24 bucks, I want a 20-dollar bill on it.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "No, I'm not. I fix cars.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "No, you don't.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "I think you're a bourgie little toad.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Out of girlfriend for a long time.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, he's a low-class working stiff like yourself. Even lower.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Those are Twinkies.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "I meant me.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "A week.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Last thing I ever wanna do again is see a naked middle-aged man in the shower.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "You've never been there, have you?", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "You're just too damn lovable.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Uh, Daddy, remember Craig?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Never should've let you play with those Menendez boys.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Nice earrings.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Probably say, 'Hey, Fred, you got change for a 20?'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Two, three times a day.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "except I work with my hands and they work with everything else.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Did it ever occur to you I might wanna see this game more than I wanna see you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Don't you see how important this game is to Will and I?", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "I gotta break up with your father.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "There's someone else.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Oh, who is he?", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Can I call you?", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Same game, next season.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "No, don't need to. You already came true.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Same Game Next Season"}, {"t": "Oh, didn't I tell you?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "The other day when I went out to buy that sweater... I bought a house to match. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Do I know how to accessorize or what?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "The hell she can't.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Carlton, that's Beverly Hills. Yeah, the bad part. 90211.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Your annual height check?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Just go upstairs and wax your skis or your legs or whatever you wax.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Asking Miss Lisa for permission?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "First of all, Benson, I ain't gotta ask nobody for permission.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "[CLUCKING]", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "No, you must have been watching one of the other black skiers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Normally, I would ditch you on that last one... but, uh, I'm gonna let you in on a little something.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Ever since I was like 7, I had a mad crush on Barbara Walters.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I thought I was the only one.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "How do you feel about Nancy Reagan?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Oh, see now you're being just sick.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Look, Miss Cobb, I know what you're up to and I'm not interested. You have eyes, take a look, I'm with him. This is our special weekend.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, baby. I don't even know this guy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "In fact, I'm going to go upstairs right now and have myself a good cry.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "[CRIES]", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Wow, he's even more upset about my leaving than I thought.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Oh, Ashley, mi casa es your casa. You can come over any time you want.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Why don't you come over on Mondays between 11:15 and 2:30?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Hilary, I'm in school.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Well, if you can't find the time...", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I drink another cocoa, I mess around, I have to let out a Hershey bar.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "The hills are alive.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "get the tub started, let Calgon take you halfway, and I'll come take you the rest.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Carlton, this is not your car. Then get out of my rental car.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Now I'll never get to see that Barbara Walters Special. And she had Henry Winkler too. You made me miss Fonzie.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I know, these air bags are worthless.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I swear, God as my witness... I will be in church first thing Sunday morning. Oh, wait, Sunday's bad. I'll cancel, I'll cancel.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Which reminds me, you still owe me 20 bucks from three years ago.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Back in Philly, they used to call me Spider-Man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "So this is it. This is how the Carlton Banks story ends. With a whimper. [WHIMPERS]", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Hi-de-hi-de-Heidi-Fleiss.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Oh. Sweetheart, you know expressions like 'when hell freezes over'? 'When the cows come home'? 'When donkeys fly'? Pick one.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I've been trying to for, like, a half hour.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Will, I want you to eat me. If I die first. You can stay alive by using my body for nourishment. Incidentally, the buttocks has the most meat.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "God, I hope I go first.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I didn't get the insurance. I put the car on my credit card... and I didn't get the $6 insurance.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I don't know what's worse. Dying a slow agonizing death or staying alive and listening to you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I don't have any friends.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I don't do anything for you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I just called you Thumbelina this morning.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Yeah, but your heart wasn't in it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Stumpy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I'd cry, but my tear ducts are frozen.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "You'd let me jump like that?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Why not? [YELLING THEN ECHOING] Why not? [RUMBLING] BOTH: Avalanche!", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Now I see how people could jump out of burning buildings. You couldn't figure it out before?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Hey, isn't that great? Now you and I can stay together and Lisa can stay with her.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "How could you not take the insurance? It only costs an extra $6.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Camp Gucciwanka? Oh, yeah, that's Apache for 'over-privileged.'", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Oh, goodbye, little lamp. No, I could use this.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "One down, four to go. Take it easy, Philip.", "c": ["Phil", "Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "No, three is a crowd. Come on. Okay.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "I hate my life.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Threes A Crowd"}, {"t": "Will talking sweetly to Lisa on phone while being attacked by dog Phoebe, with Carlton screaming in background", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Let me see you caress the syrup with your tongue", "c": ["Artist"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Why don't you let me see you caress a Tic Tac with your tongue?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Well, look, why don't you get up out of my character while I'm eating", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Hilary explains she's staying because her house is dark with no lights, then reveals the phone doesn't work when told to call electric company", "c": ["Hilary", "Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Well, I don't know, I suppose when it's finished, you'll dust it.", "c": ["Philip", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Yes, and I'm going to a Quayle in '96 Tupperware Party", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "You out of the mix, man. You're married", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Extended bee metaphor sequence about relationships and parties", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Look at how cute... You are a lucky man", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "How come we don't never do that in our nighties?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Yeah, they playing against the... uh... The, uh... Uh, the Twins.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Hey, Ricky, Lucy let you out?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Last I heard, Jewel was patting you on your head and tossing you a treat", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "It's all about letting her know who wears the protective cup in the family", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Do you have, like, a really fat twin sister?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Ten Tummy Tina?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Well, but then, two months ago, you were still up", "c": ["Tina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Um... See, what had happened at first was...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "...but then a sniper came. And... The coach had got shot", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "by now I'd have been up in this party in my drawers doing the Tootsie Roll", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "I'm at Hoochie Phi Hoochie and I ain't having no fun", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Miss Nightie-Wearing, Popcorn-Popping, Dancing-To-Janet... Well-At-Least-That's-What-I'm-Going Tell-my-Boyfriend, Little-Party-Freak?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Hush, puppy", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Um, we was talking about this movie we had seen. Um, the movie we just came from... it was about a linebacker and a fraternity. You know, and Larry Fishburne played the dean", "c": ["Linebacker"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "He was a linebacker, Uncle Phil", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "If all your friends jumped off... the damn MTV building, would you do it?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "At a fraternity house playing touch football in the bedroom", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "So long ago, how could you remember?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Miss Ashley and I are about the same height... it would be a simple matter of painting my head on her body", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "When we find Ashley, she's reimbursing me for gas", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "I'd probably check into the Four Seasons and get a massage", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "That big vein in his neck looked like an anaconda", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "If you're referring to the size of my endowment, it's almost as large as Hilary's", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "God, I hope you talking about money", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "They're like piranha, Ashley. And you're 110 pounds of teenage chum", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "A hundred and eight and I'm not as innocent as I look. All right, I am", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "The Lord is my shepherd...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "call your sister and tell her she's about to lose her only child", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "they're actually gonna let Ashley eat tomorrow", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "And I should be wearing some kind of hat", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Like, take this jacket you're wearing. What about this jacket? I love it", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Its A Wonderful Lie"}, {"t": "Why do you shave and Ashley doesn't?", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Will's stammering explanation about guys growing beards and women growing... taller", "c": ["Will", "Ashley", "Nicky"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "And some vessels just stay empty", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Rich People's Digest", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Yeah, if you're a hotel in Vegas", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Simple, Will, some of us are born owls and some of us are born mules. Guess which one you are.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Well, I must be one of them owl-killing mules, then", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Them arches better not be golden", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Great, I'm gonna go stuff my fanny pack", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Looks like somebody beat him to it", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "I tried to tell puny the bear this is too much stuff", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "I mean, come on, why are we taking wood? / Hello? Campfire?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "How many Uncle Phils?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "There was a raft in that box", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "It had a built-in bug zapper", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "The rapid-fire price negotiation ending with 'You got a deal, Daffy'", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Well, those white sheets can get so dingy. Don't you have any nice pastels?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Well, what about television? He's not gonna just have basic cable, is he?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "And what is Prozac anyway? I mean, do you think I need this?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "However, I will be doing my banking by mail from now on", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Knowing my luck, I'll run into a disgruntled postal worker", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Well, it ain't as bad as the last time Geoffrey made chili", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "I hate this generic stuff. I'm gonna get you an Evian", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "I'm scared to touch anything. I don't wanna pull anything out", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Psych.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "I did? I was just trying to get the hell out the way", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Don't tell me any more fairy tales", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Don't go peeking at my stuff, Mom", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "I see there's a new pillow fluffer in town, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Ow! Ooh, psych, psych, psych", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Well, if it stops beeping, you're gonna sleep a lot longer than you planned", "c": ["Vy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Well, you know how they say a paper cut is the worst kind of pain? Eh! Eh! Wrong.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Did you hear the one about the black dude that got shot at the ATM?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Oh, no, this is What's Happening!! I know all these jokes by heart.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Oh, check it out, look, look, look. [IMITATES DWAYNE] Hey, hey, hey. [IMITATES DEE] Oh, Dwayne, Rerun ate my mama's cake. [IMITATES RERUN] Ooh. Dee, Dee, please don't tell your mama I ate her cake. [IMITATES DEE] Okay, Rerun, for Dee right price.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Oh, that ain't nothing. You should see my Webster.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "What exactly do you want her to see?", "c": ["Vy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "You always dream about Shaka Zulu?", "c": ["Vy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "No, I'll thank Jazz later", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "See, even if you stood right in front of me... he still could have hit me from my belly button up", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Well, uh... you could talk to Uncle Phil about, you know, sliding me into his will. Forty, 50 G's, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "A brother get shot, he get a little emotional", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "What are you gonna do with that? / It's for protection. / Carlton. Whoa, man. What, do you think it's that easy to just shoot somebody? / I'll close my eyes.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "I was gonna eat that, man", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "That's not you, man, that's them", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "I saved your life, man. I saved your life. You owe me!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Bullets Over Bel Air"}, {"t": "Remind me to never get shot again.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "It's always hard the first time. I remember mine.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I'd forgotten how much Jewel hates anchovies on her pizza.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Nurse Sigmund has on the exact same outfit.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I'm sure my arm won't feel a thing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "[SCREAMS]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Check it out, Will. I'm the black dude on ER.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "It doesn't have to be a toy to be fun. Check this out. Clear. [SCREAMING THEN CRASH]", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Oh, cool, because I never could before.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Yeah, I fell, unh... in love with you, baby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Will, did you take another one of those yellow pills?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I can give you this one around my collar.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "WILL & LISA: Don't touch that!", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Oh, it's not their fault. They're setting up for your surprise party. Well, now that you dragged it out of me.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "There has got to be an easier way to call the nurse.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "And I don't think what you're doing is good for anybody.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Oh, I love you too, Will.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Go sit down.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "You know, this precludes any possibility of us getting together. To do what?", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Her ex-cellmate broke out. They're having dinner.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I mean, come on, I'm still decorating my new house. When would I have time to buy you a gift?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, come here. My foot wants to congratulate your butt.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Well, now, just what exactly is 15 percent of a frozen burrito?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Hey, I watch The Cosby Show too, Uncle Phil. This is that episode where Theo drops out of school, right? Yeah, well, a couple more Pudding Pops, you'll be there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "What's love got to do with it? GEOFFREY [SINGING]: Got to do with it, got to do with it", "c": ["Vivian", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] I'm okay. I'm okay.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "My goodness, those doctors must have crossed some wires in there.", "c": ["Physical Therapist"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Don't wanna get what? A ticket. I'm double-parked outside.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "See? It wasn't that hard, was it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "See? It wasn't that hard, was it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "D-U-M-P-E-D. 'Dumped.' And you also made 'lonely,' 'shocked' and 'pathetic.'", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Next on Montel Williams... Women Who Won't Marry and the Losers Who Ask Them.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Just make mine a single-sized serving.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "My God, man, I'm in a wheelchair.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Sir, when you're finished eating, I've pre-pasted your toothbrush upstairs.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Which reminds me. Lisa called.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "You are so accident-prone.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Every time I get around you, I wind up getting hurt. You are so accident-prone.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Being in a wheelchair is no excuse... for wearing the same shirt two days in a row.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "You would think hitting the concrete like that would've made more of an impact.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Poor, poor... Tip of the tongue, Will. Please help me out. Trevor.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Well, stupid is as stupid does. Well, what is that supposed to mean? I don't know, but the movie made like a half a billion dollars.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I don't know, but the movie made like a half a billion dollars.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Baby, I don't wanna have to shoot you every six months just to hold on to you.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "You wouldn't really bust a cap at me, though, would you? Not unless I have to.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Tyler and I were saving it for our honeymoon. Trevor, Hilary. Right, Trevor, whatever.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "[WILL YELLS] [SPLASH] [ALL SCREAM]", "c": ["Will", "Everyone"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "A Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Come on, Ash, it's not the size that counts.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "That small, huh?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "I couldn't afford the real cubic zirconia.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Nothing says loving like something from the oven.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "And Will Smith says it best.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "What y'all watching, a Rosie Perez movie?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Hilary gave us a tape of her talk show and made us promise to watch. It's been on for three minutes, and we're almost done.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "It's that thong underwear you bought me for Christmas.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "My living room. Thanks to you, my apartment is flooded.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Tell her, y'all. Didn't I just fix the toaster?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "See? Before it wouldn't even get past the door.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Thanks, Will. In the morning, I'll set it on dark and it'll meet me at school.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "I love a good old-fashioned sleepover. What say we rent a musical... pop some corn and after that, dare I say, Yahtzee?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Dare I say: Ow!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "It was, 20 years ago.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Your wit, ha-ha-ha... your charm... your wit. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Oh, what do you call that big loud thing that sucks up everything?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "You call him 'Daddy.'", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "I'm expected to be on call for his 3 a.m. feeding.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "The extra money could get you that Beemer.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Well, it's not as if he gave her a kidney.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "[IN SPANISH ACCENT] Hey, Lucy, I home.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Girl, exactly what part of that chicken are you cooking?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "[COUGHING] Oh, damn, I swallowed it!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Oh, and it was finger-licking good, baby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "As lovely as that stinks... Uh, uh, smells.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Note: Buy Reese's Pieces for desk jar.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Yeah. But I could damn sure go for some Reese's Pieces.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Look here, Uncle Phil, I'm from Philly. You know what I mean? I was driving when I was 11, you know. Of course, that was in the good old days before The Club.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "[LISA & WILL GRUNT] Hey, baby, what's Swahili for 'ching-ching'?", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Hey, you know them little yellow smiley faces? Just put some Hershey syrup on them, you got us, you know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Oh, if you mean what I think you mean, I got skills, you know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Listen, Rita, you are sucking me dry. Look, you want more alimony, you talk to my first two wives, all right?", "c": ["Dr. Whitehorn"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Never get married on a dare. Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Dr. Whitehorn"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "You know. But first, I figure we'd start out with Will, Jr., you know. Then Willfred, then Willoughby, then Willard, you know. Then Willis.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "'Will Stop'? That ain't no good name.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Now, Willstafa, you know. That's strong, you know, like, kind of a Lion King kind of feel. You know, Will Simba.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Cleveland. / Philly.", "c": ["Lisa", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "It's a pool table.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Duh. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "I don't believe blacktopping your tennis court falls into that category.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "You are so lazy.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Not too lazy to quit.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "That was seven hours ago.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Aw, don't get into a hissy fit, sir. I left dinner in the oven.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "God help us. You'd think a guy who eats so much... would at least know his way around the kitchen.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Will who?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Man, we are this close to breaking up. Boy, that stuff doesn't work at all.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Oh, don't hurt me!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Did you put something on or did you take something off?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Trust me, the next time I decide to take something off... you will be too old and blind to care.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Hey, put it there, dude.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "So you expect me to be a gourmet chef, raise eight kids... and look beautiful 24 hours a day?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Too much?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "That one-figure salary that you pull down at the Peacock?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "And it ain't gonna be me, Aunt Jemima!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Look here. I sit when and where I please. You know what I'm saying? Because I'm the man. I'm the man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Because your name is on the seat.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "I knew that. And you know how I knew that? Because you're the man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Get the lead out, Weezy. / I'm walking as fast as I can, George.", "c": ["George", "Louise"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "That's, uh... That's Dr. Whitehorn. / Yeah, yeah, Horny.", "c": ["Dr. Whitehorn", "George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Never mind. I'll sit wherever I want, because I'm the man. I'm the man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Your mother died. Your mother is dead. Your mother ain't living no more.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "[IMITATING WILL] Who the man? I'm the man.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Because I ain't spending no 4.95 on some stank skeezer... to take her to the salad bar.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "[IMITATING LISA] Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Why you talking about your uncle all the time? He ain't fat. He is big-boned.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "And I thought I had it bad. Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "And this is for Mama. / And this is for calling me Weezy... when you know I'm sensitive about my asthma.", "c": ["Louise"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "No, she used to be mean. Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "We tied the knot 40 years ago and I've been swinging from it ever since.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Yeah, I hear you. Sure, there's women like that... make you realize why God made darkness.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "You insulting my wife? / Hold up a second there, cul-de-sac.", "c": ["George", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Look, I am twice your size... and half your age. You need to chill out a little bit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Your daddy is so fat that when he went to school... he sat next to everybody.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "He looks like a car coming down the road with both doors open.", "c": ["Louise"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "You might as well be taking karate.", "c": ["Dr. Whitehorn"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "No, we used bats. / On each other? / Oh, no, no. We beat up this old couple.", "c": ["Will", "Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "We wanna miss the rainy season in the motherland.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "That's from the travel agent. She says she could retire on this one. Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Pinch me, Geoffrey.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Not on what you're paying me. But for 35,000, I'll slap you silly.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Will Is From Mars"}, {"t": "Any one at which I'm not serving hors d'oeuvres or pouring champagne.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Wow, then you're gonna think ours sucks.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "My fault. For a second there, I forgot who I was talking to, you know that?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Three hundred? Who are you inviting, the entire Wayans family?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Oops. Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Oh, what the hell was I thinking?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "And I'm going to network like it's 1999.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Like Carlton Co.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Smile, be polite...and wear a spandex dress that makes them sit up and say, 'Aye, chihuahua.'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "I'll wear leather. Why don't you just wear hot pants and a bustier with two big cones on it?", "c": ["Hilary", "Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Before Memorial Day?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Those are flowers, Fred. You know, like a bride carries at a wedding.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Whoa, Fred.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "I look like a call girl. A very expensive call girl.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Oh, that's ridiculous, it isn't that short.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Well, this is a serious waste of a Wonderbra.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Oh, she's focusing, all right, on your chest. I mean, as unbelievable and disgusting as it sounds, she wants you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Hey, man, why you ain't tell me you invited the Ritzy's?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Okay. Ding, ding, ding! All sumo wrestlers to the showers!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "I'll take that as a no.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Crushing beer cans on your head...telling everybody why Sears is the place to buy tires.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "You wanna take this outside? We are outside. Fine. You wanna take it inside?", "c": ["Phil", "Fred", "Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Just my luck...Whitney Houston and I had just survived a nuclear holocaust. And now I was the last man on Earth.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "You call 5:30 early? Hell, the day is half gone.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Hey, I met a nice gal through that ad. In some cultures...it's considered a real turn-on for a woman to have a sloped forehead.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "I'm definitely the Marilyn Munster of this family.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "You're lucky she's dead. What? Uh, uh, I mean, my wife is still alive. What? She's gonna kill me when she finds out about this.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Actually, I'd prefer a white wine spritzer.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Ain't no way I was getting married at a place called Temple Emanuel L. Lewis.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Who's the dick who's a sex machine to all the chicks? Shaft? You're damn right. Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Well, okay, baby, but I don't wanna be given away by the pimp.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "although in November, she sold off a number of hairs... Shares.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "That was a tape recorder?", "c": ["Agent Dailey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "You're dilly-dallying days are done.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Look, Lisa, baby, I'm telling you...I want to marry you, but definitely not like this. Right on, Will. Oh, by the way, dude, your Isaac Hayes impression stinks.", "c": ["Will", "Minister"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "All right, that's enough! That's it. Look, Lisa, baby, I'm telling you...I want to marry you, but definitely not like this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, dude, your Isaac Hayes impression stinks.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Thank God I pressed the wrong button. The B-side is John Travolta's polka classics.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "So Daddy's coming home with a Turf Buddy.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Only if he sits on it.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Nope.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "The Wedding Show Psyche"}, {"t": "Well, when I'm nervous... I put a bag over my head and breathe very deeply.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "By the time I regain consciousness... I've forgotten everything I was worried about.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "That's how I eat them. [ASHLEY SIGHS]", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "So what, you and Lisa have no place to live. And no money in the bank. And a crummy dead-end job. Heh.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. That would be me.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "You'll always be able to make a living. You do own a squeegee, don't you?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "What I need is somebody to just walk in and say... You know what? I just made a bundle on the stock market. Ha. Now I just need something to invest it in. CHORUS [SINGING]: Hallelujah, hallelujah", "c": ["Will", "Chorus"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Well, first I tell him that I love him. Then I hug him so tight his wallet falls out and I kick it under the couch. Ha.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "So you hug him just to get money? That is low.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "PHIL: Well... WILL: Give me a hug, you big bear.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "- Stupid? Ha-ha-ha. PHIL: Bingo.", "c": ["Carlton", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "I don't know. Drugstore was closed that weekend?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Yes. But your father never heard about fried-chicken-flavored aspirin.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "And let's not forget about his beepers that cough.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "See, you're sitting in a movie theater, your beeper go off. Instead of hearing beep, beep, beep, beep, you hear: [COUGHING AND SNORTING]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "See? - That's a lot less annoying, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Mm, mm, mm. Little Lance Ito. Who'd have thought it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Get off me. I'm only gonna say this twice.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Uh, go with the original. Extra crispy is overrated.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "[IN JAMAICAN ACCENT] Uncle Phil, mon... how would you like to live in an island paradise?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "The sun from your melon be blinding the little children.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Well... Jazz lives here, Uncle Phil. Oh, that's very different. I know I'm not interested.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "I lived in a strip mall, Mr. Banks. And I don't need to tell you how hard it is to take a bath in the men's room sink.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Oh, well, I'm sorry, Whoopi.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "But I can assure you that Donald Trump does not negotiate business deals... playing a ukulele and wearing a Bullwinkle hat.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "- Danish? - Only on my mother's side.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "You know, it's amazing because just last night... you were saying how stupid this was. It must have morphed.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "You backpedal any faster, Uncle Phil... you're gonna moonwalk right through that wall.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "I mean, you spend more than that on Milk Duds. You know, in the course of a year. You know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "You know, Will, you backpedal pretty well yourself.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "I told you to get a big-screen TV.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Excuse me, my beeper. [PHIL COUGHS]", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Find something nice to say about that. I think I killed a rat.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "[MUFFLED] Could someone grab the cappuccino maker?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Well, Uncle Phil, the only way it could get rough now... is if Geoffrey forgot your croissants.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Now our little penthouse got central air. Whoosh.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "And so will this. [CRUNCHING] You allow pets.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "- Knock, knock. - Who's there? The head of the tenants association. That's me.", "c": ["Jazz", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "After you put a couple of million dollars in this place, it'll be worth thousands.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Somebody keep making them damn Chevy Chase movies.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Sticky stuff on the stairs tastes bitter.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "No. He wants you to call the idiot... who keeps greenlighting all those Chevy Chase movies.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Oh, I bet you are, Carlton. Because you can't kiss his butt from here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "What kind of idiot would patch the roof with newspaper? [PHIL SCREAMING]", "c": ["Carlton", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Oh. Didn't you hear? Their new hits collection comes out next week.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "[IMITATING CARLTON] Oh. Well, jeez Louise... we better rush down and wait in line right now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Bunny rabbit. Ha, ha. Look. An American eagle with one wing.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "[SCREAMING]", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Oh, at own risk. Sorry.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "In fact, this week was kind of invigorating. Which reminds me, I think I'm gonna go freshen up. I think I saw a hydrant on the corner and now I know how to use a wrench.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Well, you got me there.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "You used to be a lot better at these little talks, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Hey, man, don't you think I'm a little old for a spanking?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "And they say guys can't express their true feelings. You know what I'm saying? Hah, hah. That's ridiculous, isn't it? Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Oh, 'let's jet.' That was hip. Did you hurt yourself?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Damn, a coat of paint in a roach motel and you're all over yourself.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "Yeah, an offer to withhold my rent until I can come up with it.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "[YELLS] [JAZZ THUDDING] Ooh. My God. Uh, that's okay, Uncle Phil. His rent check would have bounced too.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Slum Like It Not"}, {"t": "If you xeroxed your butt again, I'm not interested.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "I hope it comes with a canopy because at that price, it's the only roof we'll have over our heads.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "No, Philip, how are we?", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, she's possessed. It's like some evil force has taken over her mind. Something not of this Earth.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Ah! [Will's shocked reaction to Hilary arriving]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Cleopatra Jones.", "c": ["Studio Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Oh, dag, that's your cousin? She's fine. Hey, tell Cleopatra Reggie said, 'What's up?'", "c": ["Studio Worker"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "All right, but while you're down, can I get some dough out your wallet?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure he's talking to you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "What a fabulous butt.", "c": ["Ina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "You know, it gets me around.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Hey, you can't treat an actor like that. What do you think he is, a writer?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "I mean, come on, man, the dude's a brother and he ain't supposed to be like, 'I'm looking for a Julius Caesar salad.' I mean, come on, man, you know, he got to be down here, you know. Hey, look, baby, you need the cops, we don't need to go down the station. All I got to do is walk out your front door carrying your TV, you know, okay, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "You're moving out? Even better. I'm moving out?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Professor T. Johnson is a Troy? What did you think the T stood for? I was hoping Thelma.", "c": ["Will", "Viv", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Oh, please. They hired you, somebody who's never acted in his life, to star in a network TV show. Pppt. Well, it happens.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Man, I ain't seen so many zeros since Carlton's square dance recital.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "What? You mean beside that little chocolate Tic Tac you call your head?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Do I play a convincing coma victim or what?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Well, you're no Sunny Von Bulow.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "I just hope that Sears lets them stay for the whole show.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "[Will grunting] ...she have a hard time walking without falling over.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Not that they were in the same room or anything.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "That reminds me, Mrs. Banks called to say she'll be working late again...with Professor Johnson at her office writing her book.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "I might as well be kissing Flavor Flav, gold teeth and all.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "So if I have to crawl into bed with 10 beautiful woman, that's just a sacrifice I'm gonna have to make.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "C, it's a prop.", "c": ["Crew Member"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "[Makes squeaky noise instead of speaking]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "And yet, inexplicably, we've had no leftovers.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "If you were a woman, would you find me attractive? Nope.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Why, he's 15 years her junior. Whatever would they do together?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "What do you think of Larry? La-la-la Larry.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Well, you seem like you're doing a pretty good job to me right now.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Oh... But this ain't one of them times.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "So does watching it.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Doesn't he know those stairs go nowhere?", "c": ["Ina"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Actually, uh... We... We broke up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "No, no, like I told you, we broke up. You wanna dance?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Now can we panic? / Cue dough boy. / I don't care if he's not ready, get him in there now, now, now!", "c": ["Jerry", "Ina"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "I don't know.", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "That's right, I shot Carlos. And that's not all. I'm the one who shot J.R. too. And I shot the sheriff. But I did not shoot the deputy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "But you see, I'm young and I'm restless. I only got one life to live, so I got to follow my guiding light and search for tomorrow.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Hey, who knows if I'll wind up living out the days of my life in a mansion in Dallas on the corner of Melrose Place drinking Falcon Crest out of a brown paper bag.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "The bald and the beautiful.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Got that right. / Isn't this great? / I told Daddy the soaps aren't predictable.", "c": ["Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "[THUMP]", "c": ["Jerry punching Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Oh, just go for it, sir. I'll swear it came that way.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't believe it either. He called her 'dear.'", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "That noodle-neck kid stomps on my last nerve.", "c": ["Aunt Viv"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Get a room.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "I haven't seen such a disaster on the telly since they cancelled Manimal.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Please tell me you meant Chuck Berry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "Ah! I knew there was something I forgot. [Will screaming and running]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "As The Will Turns"}, {"t": "I want something simple. Just me and my boys barking like seals at naked women. [BARKING]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "But, Will, that's so politically incorrect. No one likes naked women anymore, believe me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Tell me again, why did I make you my best man? You said I'm like the brother you never had. No, no, I said you like the brother I never wanted.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "When you wake up, you will be very, very short. Damn, see, that stuff does work.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "[IN NATIVE AMERICAN ACCENT] Distant drums say man with giant pants... forget important interview.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Well, can't you cancel it? [LAUGHING] Good one, Daddy. Ha.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Certainly, sir. I'll just have to make this triple fudge bundt cake tomorrow.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Sure, my bike has a basket.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Or that weird dude that be vacuuming our pool.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Say, don't you have a class now? Oh, that's not important.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Or you could say, 'In two years, I'll be bigger than you.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Well, you need to stop pressuring him. You treat him like a ventriloquist's dummy. That's not what I'm doing. Nicky, what school do you wanna go to? The best school in L.A. Crescent Rock School. Yeah, I was wrong, Carlton. You're the dummy.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton", "Nicky"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Now I know what Uncle Phil must feel like in a Miata.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Nicky. Is there any apple juice?", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "That may be why the other adults were standing.", "c": ["Ruby"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "You know, he just wrote, produced, directed his first screenplay. The Forest Gumby.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Look, I can make myself dizzy. That's a part of his comedy act. Yeah, that one killed them at Def Jam, Junior.", "c": ["Nicky", "Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, well, Nicky here is a big interacter. You might call him the last interaction hero, you know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "This is that mountain from Hawaii, Mount Kichikichiyayadada.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "It's really a turtle. He's inside his shell. Is he hiding because he's nervous about going to a new school? No, he's watching Power Rangers.", "c": ["Nicky", "Teacher", "Nicky"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "What, an artificial heart valve?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Oh, great. You know, I mean, not 'great' great, you know. But it was good. It was good. You know. You know, not that good, you know. But... What is the word I'm looking for? Bad? Worse than that, but I'll go with bad.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Will's the one that got yelled at for stealing. Well, she had it coming after the way she talked about your mountain. It was a turtle.", "c": ["Nicky", "Will", "Nicky"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Are you sure that while Aunt Viv was pregnant with Carlton... she wasn't, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Tippy The Drunken Penguin is his opening act. Ooh, you think we could get him for my bachelor party?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, Uncle Phil, hasn't there been enough black-on-black violence?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Look, Will, she thinks she's naked. Isn't this exciting?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Ooh. Shoot me, oh, Great Mentos, shoot me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Pie. Oh, my God, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Could I have my coat? My fault.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "I've replaced all the video tapes with insect documentaries.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "It's their end-of-the-season thong blowout. Everything in there is half off. You know what I'm saying?", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Aren't you glad I use Dial?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "I seen Uncle Phil pick bigger chunks of food out of his teeth.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "That never works.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "[IN CHILD'S VOICE] I gotta go potty. Hey, the buddy system stops at the pool, mister.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "It must be all that rap music.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Can he make me think I care?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Look at that, the boy would rather read than walk. Isn't that beautiful?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "But this is a bass. Well, the cello's in the shop, this is a loaner.", "c": ["Mr. Spiegel", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Actually, madam, I got it from the Gary Coleman Cookbook. Hope you like short ribs.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "You like seafood? Of course. See, food.", "c": ["Will", "Mr. Spiegel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "I'll give you a snickerdoodle. Okay.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Why, certainly, Master Carlton. I just happen to have a trolley in my trousers.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Simon says, 'Freeze.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Okay. What's the most musical part of your body? I don't know. Your nose because you can pick it and blow it.", "c": ["Will", "Mr. Spiegel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Excuse me, mister, I'll shine your head for a nickel.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "For the love of God, does nobody have a bell?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "What the hell is in those crab puffs?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Too bad we got stuck behind that ice cream truck on the way there. Yeah, those bells turned you into a raving maniac.", "c": ["Carlton", "Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "They said it was his sincerity that impressed them the most. They liked that he was just being himself. That's what Will told me to do.", "c": ["Vivian", "Nicky"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "You know, it just seems to me... that there might be a cash gift involved here somewhere, I don't know. Well, I'll settle for just a hearty handshake.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "[DOORBELL RINGS] [BARKING]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Look, I'll walk him, but somebody else gonna have to pooper scoop.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Save The Last Trance For Me"}, {"t": "Oh, damn, what happened, man, the toaster turn you down?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Loser Boy. Well, honesty is one way to go. Will, that's a typo. I'm Lover Boy.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "And I guess lying is the other way to go. Heh.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Because you're little... you're chocolate... and you're rich. And then your head come to this stupid little point", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "What's so funny? Miss Hilary... remember when you caught me in the potting shed... with Sabrina, the tennis tutor? Oh, I certainly do. And Daddy was so mad when I told him. Yes, remember I said I'd get you back? Yeah. We're even.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Man, this will change my whole life. Yes, now you can drive the car without sitting on phone books.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "The name of your fraternity was Pi Nu? So that made you what, a pie man?", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Oh. So, you know, you probably hung out with the sorority girls from Beta Crocker.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "What, sucking up? Exactly.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Where's a gong when you need one?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Wow, what a coincidence, because Bullwinkle's nickname is Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Hey, so, what's he doing now? Oh, he's dead. Dead drunk probably.", "c": ["Ernest", "Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Actually, he's being a little modest. Carlton, come on, he's at least 4 feet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Speaking of cookies, I've been running the campus restaurant... Right into the ground.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Well, you're half right. Hah!", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "The last time you had a date, Dad had a Jheri curl.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Is this better? Ow!", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Will's elaborate phone prank on Carlton with the briefcase", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Excuse me, that was a Visa. Oh. That's an American Express. I think that was a Diner's Club.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "You know, it starts to pull a little to the left at about 90. Uh... Says the manual.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "What money? I did not see no money. I did not see no money. I didn't see a dime, nothing. I looked the other way when it popped.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Well, can we just say it's a birthday present, huh? Yes, we could. Yeah, yeah, we could say that. Because that's what I had thought, you know. I figured that's what it was, you know. I didn't see no party hats, no... Heeh!... in there.", "c": ["Ernest", "Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "I believe it is.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Sani-Seat. Oh, and I'm also bringing my secret weapon. That's right, Tony Orlando with Dawn.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "I'd knee you in the groin, then I'd blush and giggle.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Follow the Ding Dong debris.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Councilman Braddock is a Tony Orlando and Dawn fan. He should be run out of office.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "What are you saying? I'm dating my own sister. Is my favorite country Western song.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Uh... One more thing, y'all two dating?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "These days that's hardly enough to even be considered a bribe.", "c": ["Ernest"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "And if my drawers wasn't so dirty, I'd snatch this suit and give it to you too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "You best to press off or you'll get straight molly whopped up in here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "I should have wrote that one down too, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "It's just like when I found out that Kermit the Frog... was just a piece of green felt with somebody's hand up his butt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Come on, Moose, let that caboose loose. You stupid. Ha-ha.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "To Thine Own Self Be Blue And Gold"}, {"t": "Well, where's the law that says the B has to stand for bacon?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Bread, lettuce and tomato?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Well, we had to cut back somewhere. Last month, our outlay exceeded our revenues. But I don't expect you to understand that.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "[MIMICS CARLTON] But I don't expect you to understand that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Oh, that's easy. - Will Smith.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "[MIMICS BOGART] Of all the campus dames in all the campuses in all the world... why'd you have to walk into mine?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, dude is cool. He ain't no Shaft, though, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "You know, most women can't appreciate the subtle nuances of a fine Shaft film.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "WILL [THINKING]: You ain't wearing no bra.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "So do you like the Pointer Sisters?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Well, that explains the attraction.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Potatoes. - Oh, girl. Look at you, you are just like me. Except, you know, a little softer and you smell better.", "c": ["Will", "Denise"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "What's a six-letter word that comes at the end of the rhyme: Miss me, miss me Now you gotta... - Kiss me. - I'd love to.", "c": ["Denise", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "[SCREAMS]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Why are you asking me? I ain't never been never attracted to nobody in my whole life.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "I wasn't thinking about his butt. - Hey, I am now.", "c": ["Ashley", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "But every once in a while... it's kind of like the Civil War. You know, the North got everything under control... but every once in a while, it's a Southern uprising.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, look, I'm trying, man... but I got the feeling that the South shall rise again.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Oh, wait, don't get me wrong, Uncle Phil, once I say I do, I don't.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Oh, come on, pudding, jeez... you pushing me all off the sidewalk. - Oh, for God's sake, Will. Would you please be my wife?", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Would you please be my wife?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "A mean left hook.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "I don't care if Toni girl goes galloping by on a white horse buck-naked, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "She better be traveling fast, though. Snatch her little butt down off there. Yeah.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Uh... It's a rare condition. Day blindness. You know, they're really sensitive.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "And then there's your face.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, I love her. Of course I do. I have to. We're engaged.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know, only too well.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "To myself. Yeah. You know, I do that sometimes. Don't you? Yeah, yeah, you do. You do.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Oh, I've thought about that, but it probably won't help.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Excuse me, but I couldn't help overhearing from where I was eavesdropping...", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "People are talking about you too, but that don't mean they want you at their party.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey, hey, hold up a second there, Chef-Boy-Are-You-Short.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "[MIMICS BOO-BOO] 'Yogi... I don't think the ranger's gonna like that.'", "c": ["Kevin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Hey, you're not exactly splitting atoms either, okay?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Oh, uh, it was an unexpected oral exam. Yeah.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Miss me, miss me Now you gotta...", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Gorgeous, no. Man, I'm not. I got big ears and I got a big high butt, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, Will, I don't bite. Unless, of course, you want me to.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Girl, you're like a black Heather Locklear, ain't you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Nothing, you know, just suddenly got a little hot in here. Brother looking for a little shade.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Baby, where's Nicky's skateboard?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "I'll do you. It! It! I'll do it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey, look, we are only four floors up. I ain't got no problem doing a Wesley Snipes out this window.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Bad Denise. Bad Denise.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Well, only if I missed and hit the wall.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Oh. I don't believe I fell for that. - I invented that.", "c": ["Will", "Denise"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "What is that, satin? - Silk.", "c": ["Will", "Denise"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "I love Lucy. - That ain't it, is it? - It's Lisa.", "c": ["Will", "Will", "Denise"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Keep the car.", "c": ["Denise"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Wow. You know, that's deep, G. - Hey, where'd you get that? - Popeye.", "c": ["Will", "Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Like, I'm gonna listen to Geoffrey. When's the last time you seen him with a woman?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 23, "et": "Cold Feet Hot Body"}, {"t": "Well, I got a pair of eights. / Ah. Sorry about that, bro, I got a Dolly Parton. / What's that? / A bigger pair. Whaa!", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Oh, man, I could just kiss you. / I could just kiss you too.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Next time I'm gonna let Jazz kiss you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "The Strip 'N Trip wanna know if the hotel will furnish extension cords? And tell Naughty Nelvina and The Naked Drill Team to wear coats or they'll never get past hotel security.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "How could I miss that big square head of yours?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Oh, no, not another Scooby-Doo pi\u00f1ata. / Pssh. I wish.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "No offense, Scrappy... but it's hard to top the parties I've been to.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Go, Will. Go, Will. Go, Will.", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Girl, I'm sure glad we got rid of that nut.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "I was trying to get up to my room. / Hey, Tom, what was you doing? / I was trying to be in the video.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz", "Tom"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Man, this party is dull. / No, man, this party is stupid. / No, no, no, this party is crazy, flat, dumb, dumb, doodie.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "You're the man. You're the man. / You're the man. / You're the man. / BOTH: Ahhh!", "c": ["Will", "Jazz", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.78, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Jazz is the best man? / Then what the heck am I? / Short.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "He got me Rolanda, the Rubber Lady. / Look, I'll have you know that Stan, the world's smartest duck... was this close to getting on Leno.", "c": ["Carlton", "Jazz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Yeah, let's have a moment of silence... for all the girls that have found me irresistible.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Mirror, mirror on the wall, Jean-Claude Van Damme, I'm fine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "You know, if somebody was to walk in here right now... they might think you was hitting on me. / Trust me, if I was hitting on you, you'd know It.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Really? How? / [Kiss demonstration] / Okay, you made your point.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Which one of these losers is my date? / That would be me. / This is my cousin, Carlton. / Where's the rest of him?", "c": ["Another woman", "Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "I may be short, but you know what they say... about short men and tall women, don't you? / No. What? / I don't know, just making conversation.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Man, didn't your mothers ever tell you, don't play with buttons?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Can I throw a party or what? / I don't believe this. / There's a python and some triplets in there... and I'm stuck in here with Ren and Stumpy.", "c": ["Jazz", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "We've only been in here for five minutes, Carlton. Get a grip.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "I am not fine, all right? I'm a grown man... sitting under the table, hugging a teddy bear. I'm not fine.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Y'all going to leave me hanging up here like a piece of Rotisserie Gold, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Oh, so I guess we're going down, huh? / Faster than a bucket of chicken at Oprah's.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Let me out! Let me out! / This is all your fault, you finger-licking ragamuffin.", "c": ["Carlton", "Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Who are you calling muffin, Little Debbie?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Wow, gravity. What a rush.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'd rather be anybody but myself right now. / Well, it certainly wouldn't be the first time.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Now, where did you transfer from? / Bend over. / It's Andover. We're going back home.", "c": ["Woman", "Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "That's a fake mustache. / No, it's not. / Ah! Yes, it is. / No, it's not.", "c": ["Woman", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Will? / Well, it ain't Fat Albert.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Look, at least you got a chance to live life to it's fullest. / I only had one woman. One.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Will you marry me? / You are too adorable for words. / Can I give you a kiss goodbye? / Yes. / Tomorrow morning.", "c": ["Carlton", "Woman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "When the elevator was falling and I thought we were gonna die... your life flashed before my eyes.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Girl, you look good, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Girl, I got to tell you. That suit look like a piece of good God, wrapped up with some have mercy... with a side of oomph!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "I've seen your picture before. / Oh, yeah, that's right. It was in the dictionary next to 'ka-blam!'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Well, I'm hoping you like it dark, hot... sweet and with a spoon in It.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Yo, baby, I know your feet must be tired... because you've been running through my mind all day!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Hold, hold, hold it, baby. See, now, I noticed you noticing me. So I just want to put you on notice that I noticed you too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Is that what passes for a compliment around here? / Actually, baby, you got it, but I take donations.", "c": ["Woman", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "She tied a pork chop around your neck just so the dog would play with you.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Well, you so ugly, your mama had to feed you with a slingshot.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "You're so ugly, that ain't a fade on your head... that's your hair running away from your face.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Strip away the shoulder pads and the muscles and the dimples... and what you got? / You.", "c": ["Woman", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Carlton. Carlton, man, I'm sorry about all those short jokes. You know, it really took a big man to handle it... and, well, you tried your best, okay?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Geoffrey? / But you told me your name was Will. / No, I said I was willing.", "c": ["Will", "Woman", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "Not really. All I could think about was you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 24, "et": "Love In An Elevator"}, {"t": "I got to marry Lisa more often.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Well, ho, ho, ho.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.99, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "What do you think was in that one? Something that has to be returned.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "My favorite wedding guest. Ben Franklin. Oh, excuse me, Ben. Allow me to show you to your seat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Oh, rent a room.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "I don't know. Can he take a punch? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. No, seriously, can he?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Get off of me, woman!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "He'd say, you ain't fooling nobody.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Oh, man, I know how you feel. Lisa do that to me all the time. Man, just last night, we...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm just practicing for the honeymoon night. Yo, bellhop! If the room be bopping, don't you be knocking.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "You! You! Hey, hey. Chunky butt, meet battleaxe. Battleaxe, chunky butt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. You look like a chocolate-flavored Pepto-Bismol.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "No problem. To put over my head.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Okay. Come on, Ike and Tina, let's go.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Okay, tubby, tuck in your gut, we're going downtown.", "c": ["Vy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "In Philly, 'tubby' mean cute bald man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Just don't be late. You might find her face-down in the crab cake.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "I don't know what he's complaining about. I like my women scrappy.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "I didn't say it was a good plan.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Oh, man. You took your gold tooth out. What's the occasion?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "The wife and I are split up. Inconsolable differences.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "And so did the weave.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Hortense? Jazz, I thought her name was Jewel. Just one of her many lies.", "c": ["Will", "Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "She had sex with all of them? She did? Man, it just gets worse and worse.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "What the hell is that? Hi. See? I knew she was gonna say that.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Or one of them's dead and one of them's a fugitive.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "At least she ain't got no weave.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Baby, I hate sweet potato pie.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "But personally, I think the guy's a lowlife slug whose whole sexual identity is an extension of his big, stupid gun.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "I think he's gay. Ah!", "c": ["Lisa", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Your name is Lisa, isn't it? Well, it is now. I just couldn't go through life hearing people say, 'Hey, Beula.'", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Bye, Beula.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "[SCREAMING]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Will. [WILL SCREAMING] You, him, here. I need a moment.", "c": ["Vy", "Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Mamma, no!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "What's this, a pajama party? Hey, scooch over.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I just got a mental picture! Get out! Get out!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Oh, I know where they are, baby, You left them on top of my... Maya Angelou's book of poetry. Come on, I'll show you where they are.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "I said I was listening. But I got a million things to do, so hurry.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Remember when you said we was too young to get married? When I told you mind your business, I know what I'm doing? You remember how wrong I always am?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Go in there, say I do, be done with it. Feel better? Well... Good. Okay. Posse out, let's go.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Tell me about it. I've got to balance a ring on a stupid pillow. Hey, you wanna talk about it? No.", "c": ["Nicky", "Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Oh, Lisa. This dress looks almost as beautiful on you as it would on me.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Well, make it fast. If I start to frizz, you're a dead man.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, girl! This ain't no time to be getting freaky. Will, I was trying to hold your hand. Oh, yeah? Well, that wasn't it.", "c": ["Will", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "You know, as hard as this is to believe, I'm gonna miss you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Yes, I... Whoo! ...do. But I don't.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Hey, looks like we finally agree on something.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Hey, looks like we finally agree on something.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Well, save it for that 50 pounds of shrimp swimming around on that damn ice swan.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "We met at 10,000 feet in the air. And I promise you, baby, if you marry me, neither of us will ever come down.", "c": ["Fred"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "No. No, Mom, no. Absolutely not. You said that me and Lisa were rushing too fast. Y'all gotta take some time to think about this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Boy, I ain't got that much time. I'm getting old. Now move.", "c": ["Vy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Rap on, Rev.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "I cannot believe he is back on the market. I mean, you know, I'm sorry for the girl, but who cares? He is so fine.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "I cannot believe he is back on the market. I mean, you know, I'm sorry for the girl, but who cares? He is so fine.", "c": ["Wedding guest"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Wait, wait... No. No. Wait a... Wait a minute. Wait a minute, now. This is... This is all just too soon. Now, September, that's a different story. Y'all come back, now, you hear?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 5, "e": 25, "et": "For Whom The Wedding Bells Toll"}, {"t": "Hey, look, Uncle Phil, no disrespect, man... but you got to watch where you parking that thing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Man, you know, get some flashing lights or some horns or something.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "I'm gonna just go ahead and shut up now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot for sending me to Young Republicans Camp. Yosemite's really neat. Hey, I'm rooming with Newt's nephew, Fig.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "I wouldn't make fun of them. These kids are the future leaders of this country.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Please, me miss Carlton? Pfft. I forgot all about him. [beat] Did he say when he coming back?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Did he say when he coming back?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "What say we go hook something up now? I'll help you practice.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Help me cook? You must really be bored.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "I mean, it's bad enough that she gets hookers for married men... but blue eye shadow? Hello.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know, that is a little stank.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Imagine that.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "It's a couple of these other rabble-rousers you need to be worried about.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Well, the only way you're gonna wear this one is if you wear that one over it.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Bored! Yes. Yes, I'm bored. I'll do anything with anybody. Now, somebody ask me to do something.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go practice my swing. - I have better things to do.", "c": ["Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "You're getting a little freaky in your old age, huh, Uncle Phil?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "You know, this is your last chance to make that a fifthsome.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.01, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "He'll call.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "I'm afraid that ship has sailed.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Geoffrey can't be bothered trying to teach a moron to cook. Right, Geoffrey?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "I never knew bananas were so flammable.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "I can't flamb\u00e9.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Voil\u00e0 in reverse.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "I don't care, you still have to pay a luxury tax.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "My house is on fire. I have to leave now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Auntie Em! Auntie Em!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Mama, no!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Our work here is done.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Black folks ain't supposed to cook flamb\u00e9. You stupid.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Hey, guys, sissy boy been cooking flamb\u00e9.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.84, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "And I poofed the kitchen down.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Farewell. - Cheerio.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Halston? Whoa, this is my stop.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "You the one been out there swinging them golf clubs all day, you know what I mean?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Man, Uncle Phil got some books. Britannica, Webster's, Playboy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Isn't that a pronoun that would include me?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Because murderers, they're felons, and felons, they can't be judges.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "We should all just share the wealth, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Excellent judgment, you know what I'm saying? He got good judgment. Ain't that just like a judge? He a good judge.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "I don't know. Lack of a kitchen?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Ixnay on the Indian food. Judge can't take spicy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "If I got to hose down some poultry to pull this off, that's what I'm gonna do.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Don't make me choose. Red or brown? Ooh...", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Do you ever wonder what makes your skin stay on?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Oh, sweet mama. Now, that's chicken.", "c": ["Judge Walker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "Oh, thank God you're all right. / What are you doing here? / When Will told me the kitchen was on fire I didn't know what to expect.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "You were able to prepare a magnificent meal like that in there?", "c": ["Judge Walker"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "And this man will have you on the Supreme Court in no time.", "c": ["Judge Walker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "You gonna let me go anytime soon? - No, Will. - That's cool.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Burnin Down The House"}, {"t": "If you think you can do it any faster, then you come in here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Hey, look, I just ain't trying to be out there looking stupid, all right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Hold up, Carlton. Wait a minute. A chicken eating chicken? That's just sick.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "What part of the chicken you like?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Break it up. You, out. Big Bird, back to work.", "c": ["Director/Producer"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Because if you don't, I'll fire you from the Peacock. You'll drop out of school and be wrestling for scraps... with a guy named Joe in the dumpster behind the Sizzler.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "But, hey, you have to live your own life.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Hi. As the ain't-got-no-damn-choice king of poultry...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "I am not experiencing happy chicken here.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "With all due respect, Will, you're not exactly overqualified.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Read my beak: I quit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "It's him. He started it.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Hey, I mean, I can assist. I'm talented. Definitely coordinated.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "What are you doing here, Teeny? You already got a good job.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Hilary rapid-fire hiring both of them for the same job", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "I can type 100 words a minute, I take shorthand, speak French and Spanish. I'm pre-law with a 4.0 average. And you? Well, you know, I mean, I don't like to brag... But? Oh, that's it. I just don't like to brag.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Pay no attention to him. He's a chicken.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "That's right, you've got it. Ha, ha. He's a follower not a leader.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You know, you remind me of myself. I used to be an entry-level butt-kisser too.", "c": ["Werner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "That big Blow Pop head swindled his way in and took what was mine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Damn. That's even worse than getting beat up by a girl.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Come get your freak on at Club Freak On. Took me a long time to find something that rhymed with Freak On.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "MC Steal-a-Job is in the house.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Do I detect a little hostility, Will? Sour grapes perchance?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Pay no attention to my unemployed friend here.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Oh, two of y'all can fit on a Big Wheel?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "That's it. Beak on. 'Come get your beak on at...'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You were funnier with your beak on. That's it. Beak on. Come get your beak on at...", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Then this Chinese guy comes in and says, 'Supplies. Supplies.'", "c": ["Maurice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.83, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Then this Chinese guy comes in and says, 'Supplies. Surprises.' Oh, that is so funny. I don't get it, but you are so funny.", "c": ["Maurice", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Bonbon? We're not finished talking yet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Although we never really did a background check.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Why don't you go back into the kitchen and play with your future cell mate?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Oh, speaking of schedules, Carlton. The clinic called. You're still on for your implant tomorrow.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Oh, nothing but the rotting residue of the lies you told to steal my job.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, the bigger, badder man's about to beat the better man into oblivion.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You think it's easy catering to a low-rent Martin Lawrence wannabe?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "I don't have to sit here and be insulted... by some black Potsie Weber. I'm out of here, okay?", "c": ["Maurice"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Pardon me. I don't have to sit here and be insulted by some black Potsie Weber. I'm out of here, okay?", "c": ["Maurice"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You kind of drifted into a no-fly zone. Look, Potsie don't know what he talking about, all right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Look, Potsie don't know what he talking about, all right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "But keep the Smurf away from me. That's doable. You're fired. Will, you're hired.", "c": ["Maurice", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You know, it's true what they say, TV really does add 10 pounds. Hmm. What would account for the other 250?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You know, you're not a man who enjoys employment, are you, Geoffrey?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Food? Ha-ha-ha. Shut up.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Studying, huh? What is this, your geometry dress?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't the wise-cracking, job-taking, sister-stealing slug himself.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Whoo! Who's sucking on them sour grapes now, huh, Carlton?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Now, which one of you handsome men is Big Willy?", "c": ["Jasmine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Will's stunned reaction and long pause", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Looks like you already got it on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Oh, no, it's my stomach. I probably should've waited about an hour before we danced.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Oh, I put her back under her bridge.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Why don't you hurry and write your number down before I don't want it no more?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You are learning entirely too much from me, young lady.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You said, 'Jasmine,' I thought you said, 'Jazz, man.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "First time I have a chance to prove that I'm not a joke... and I am.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "First time I have a chance to prove that I'm not a joke... and I am.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You asked if she called, sir. She was here.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You asked if she called, sir.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Don't know, don't care.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Will a week cover it? Better make it two. Two's good.", "c": ["Ashley", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You know, how we can live together all these years, almost like brothers... and you could still low-bridge me the way you did.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Snake? Weasel? Oh, yes. Nerd? Oh, yes. How about square-headed short stack?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "This is not the way this is supposed to be going.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Who may not be a looker, but is quite an entertaining gal.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "You think you're just gonna charm your way through. Just like your father.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Let me tell you something. I am nothing like my father, all right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "And besides, the Ivy League looks down on the entertainment industry.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "There's some hundred percent USDA prime choice down there. I could be tenderizing right now. Tenderizing as we speak.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton was right. It was only a three-and-a-half-hour virus.", "c": ["Jasmine"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton was right. It was only a three-and-a-half-hour virus.", "c": ["Jasmine"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "I hear they have nude beaches.", "c": ["Jasmine"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 4.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "I hear they have nude beaches.", "c": ["Jasmine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "Carlton!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Get A Job"}, {"t": "I think it's too good to be wasted on the hired help.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Don't sweat me, Aunt Viv. Don't sweat me. Don't sweat me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Carlton wrestling with Will over argyle socks", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Probably ain't gonna help my foot fungus anyway.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Carlton's disgusted reaction and 'Keep them'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Has anyone seen my black leotard? / That ain't funny.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "I'm sure all the kids at school wanna know what an assistant talent coordinator does.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Well, what do they do? / What do they do?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get back to you on that, Ash.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Family's mass exodus from healthy breakfast", "c": ["Phil", "Carlton", "Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "And my nose is so clogged up I can't even smell my Obsession.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Mr. Dipple? / No, no. Not Dipple. Stimple. / That's what I said. Dipple.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Will's nervous stuttering trying to talk to people", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Rawr. Great. Ha, ha, ha.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Actually, I need you to move those boxes. / Boxes.", "c": ["Werner", "Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Will's dejected 'Boxes.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Body language? / Sure. They gave me the wink and the gun.", "c": ["Phil", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "When they give you the wink and the gun that means: 'Hey, you're our man.'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Listen, after I got finished changing light bulbs and moving boxes... they gave me something important to do. I moved a big box.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Dag. Who was your boss? Mr. Slate?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "He was on The Flintstones.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "What is this? / Tofu and rice cakes. / I tried to warn you. / Mrs. Banks has run amuck.", "c": ["Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Gone, sir. / My pimento loaf? / I'm afraid so, sir. / But I still have some bologna in the... / She got that too, sir.", "c": ["Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Hey, look, Uncle Phil, what do you say... we slide down to Mickey D's before she clean them out too.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Ordered? By whom? / Alex Trebek.", "c": ["Phil", "Potential Juror"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Well, Mr. Mitchell Conklin... I'm your friend.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "It's done, Hil. I just... I just went and I got her some medicine. You know, I took a little initiative.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Don't ever touch me.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Because I could always tell if someone was guilty just by looking at them. / Sir, even I can't tell by looking. / And they let you be a judge.", "c": ["Potential Juror", "Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "My brain is all clouded. My head's all fogged up. And I can't think straight. / And now you've got a cold on top of it.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Here you go, Catwoman.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Say what you will, but he is a good provider.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Damn you and your excuses.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Touch that and you'll be on the first thing smoking back to London.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Carlton Banks here. Oh, hi, Dad. I thought it was someone important.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Use only before bedtime. Do not operate heavy machinery. / Good thing we're not on a tractor, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Oh, Mr. Pimple? Bring him in. / No. It's Mr. Stimple. / Bring him in too. The more the merrier.", "c": ["Hilary", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "I'm a little teapot", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Hilary go night-night.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "No. No. Carlton, it's Career Day. You don't even have a job.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Buck up? Buck off.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "How you doing? I'm Hilary's hair designer, Diante.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Oh, excuse me. I'm doing girlfriend's hair. She is so excited to meet you. Just later.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Around here we call her, Ricki-Oprah-hue.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Oh, no, you don't. Honey, it took me an hour to do them nails.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "You a Leo, ain't you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Well, I was previously in expeditious comestible management. And currently, I'm overseeing a myriad of options.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Do you even have a job? / Well, strictly speaking, l... / He's a bum just like my Uncle Eddie.", "c": ["Student", "Carlton", "Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Carlton's dark rant about sharks, guppies, and rotting milk", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "You know, with a touch of henna and a kiss of ash blond... you're gonna need yourself a beeper, girl.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "You know, with a touch of henna and a kiss of ash blond... you're gonna need yourself a beeper, girl.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Will? I thought you were Diante? / Diante?", "c": ["Stimple", "Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "I got nighttime-so-you-could-sleep instead of daytime-so-you-could-think medicine. Man, how is she supposed to drive a tractor?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "With only one moronic cousin running around... you're way ahead of the game.", "c": ["Stimple"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Uh, see, well, you bobbed when you should've weaved.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Last one to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles ain't eating.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "They gave me the wink and the gun. They gave me the wink and the gun.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "Buck up, pal.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Stress Related"}, {"t": "It's a fiber shake. I've got an interview with an old Princeton chum of Dad's. I need to be strong. I need to be alert. And I need to be regular.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Ain't nothing in the world gonna make you regular, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "You better let that man eat and give him food... or he'll mess around and chew one of your arms off in the car.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Now, why you go and do that? You certainly ain't big, and as far as being a brother...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Carlton, it'll shrink.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Well, you tell those little brats I don't like them either.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Uh, that depends, are you going as Archie or Jughead?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Dole headquarters? No, man, we don't want no pineapples.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Mama, no!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Hey, what's up, G? Another Village People reunion?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "There's nothing like the feel of an animal beneath you to recharge your battery.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "I know what you're talking about there, G. No, I'm afraid you don't, Master William. But I do find it rather endearing when you think you do.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Has the world gone mad?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "They're just M&M's, C.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "I haven't seen him since high school. Seeing him would cheer me up. I mean, he was always such a loser. He was even shorter than me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "[Visual gag: Stinky enters - now tall and attractive]", "c": ["Stinky"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "My sweater shrunk. My grades are low. My head is too small for my body.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "It is?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "stank-robe-wearing, slipper-shuffling... r\u00e9sum\u00e9-polishing, little-kids-don't-like-me blues", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "You know, they give you the same amount whether you get six or 16.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Couple more years of seasoning, you know, put a little barbecue sauce on her... let her marinate, you know what I mean?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "P.S. My head is too small for my body.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "[Carlton singing blues about nobody loving him]", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Mind? Ha! They practically write out the guest list.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Wow, I wish my parents were that cool.", "c": ["Kyle"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Don't worry, he's part of the cleaning crew.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "How's my hair? How's my face? How's my stuff and my other stuff?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Yeah, we get a runaway yuppie down here every week.", "c": ["Bar worker"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "He's over there at the bar throwing back ginger ales.", "c": ["Bar Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "He's over there at the bar throwing back ginger ales.", "c": ["Bar worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "He's been telling me about riding the rails. You hear that, Will? Riding the rails. I mean, I don't have a clue what he's talking about... but darn if he doesn't make it sound exciting.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "You don't know the blues. How could you?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "[Will's improvised blues about growing up in the projects]", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Pappy, why don't you take a nappy?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "We're gonna have to get you some school supplies. Bye, Ashley.", "c": ["Kyle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "He's even bigger now. Ha-ha-ha. - Yeah, well, aren't we all?", "c": ["Carlton", "Mr. Bradley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "If you like Eastern Europe in the fall... you should see it in the spring, it's beautiful.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "If you like Eastern Europe in the fall... you should see it in the spring, it's beautiful.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "The second one.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Look, friend, we can talk about candy all day... but you ain't gonna convince me that blue was a bad way to go.", "c": ["Will as Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Listen, Carlton, it's one thing to throw in the hand... but it's another thing to get up from the table and quit the game.", "c": ["Pappy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "You honestly believe that Superman could beat the Flash in a foot race?", "c": ["Will as Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "What? That's poppycock. I'm Carlton Banks. No, Will, your charade is not necessary.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Like that milquetoast cousin of yours.", "c": ["Mr. Bradley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "I'm starting to get a little too comfortable in this stuff, know what I'm saying?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Bourgie Sings The Blues"}, {"t": "Oh, well, you know, my moves are kind of like top secret, Nick. I mean, I could show you, but then I'd have to kill you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Now, this is called the Will Smith Hoop Dream, Dunk on Hakeem...Down the Lane, House of Pain pass.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Back in Philly, they used to call me Will 'The 747' Smith.", "c": ["Will", "Nicky"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Thad? I thought you were dating Kyle. I am. He's the flu.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Hi, Will. What you doing? Five to ten if you don't take your hands off me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Hill, what you think? You did a pretty good show today, huh? Three words: Stink. Stank. Stunk.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Will and assistant engage in circular logic about responsibility and getting better guests", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Don't make me turn the hose on you, all right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Would you like to buy a vowel?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Oh, really? Hey, did you check under your robe?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "You sure he wasn't just downloading his floppy?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Carlton's dating service video being overly forward and confident", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Hm. A tad forward.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "That felt close.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "What is your problem, Pepe Le Puny?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Of course you do. That's my Dad, you half-life.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "The dude that cut that jack-o'-lantern in your head last Halloween?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "It'd have been great if that candle hadn't burned the roof of my mouth.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Why not? She got a nice big head.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Now, you know I'm gonna have to charge you extra for working around these ears.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "The idiot that put the candle in his mouth?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "First, you got Geraldo coming in here...you know his head is as empty as Al Capone's vault", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "I told Montel, 'Yeah, I'll do your show when you grow some hair.'", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "We got cash. You got George.", "c": ["Will", "George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, just yuk it up. He who laughs last... See, it's started already.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "You're in my thoughts. Love, Thad.", "c": ["Carlton", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Please, for carnations and a little baby's breath? Nothing.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "So there's no sense of me playing, is there?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Hey, Nicky, you will never guess who we got... How many times do I have to tell you kids? I just can't talk about it.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["running_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Then I can't discuss your radio. Back of the line.", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Why should I be nervous? I'm all liquored up.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "That lard-butt of a judge. That man is crazy as they come.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Couldn't judge a beauty pageant. About as useless as a no-mouthed dog at a Frisbee contest.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "If I ever see him, I'll lower him like a cheap carpet.", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Ain't that right, Will Smith?", "c": ["George"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "And if not, I'll just blame the whole thing on you. Oops. Did I say that out loud?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Oh, not bad for a lard butt, huh?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "And also that it's not called The Will Show.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "And also that it's not called The Will Show.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Daddy, punish him. He needs tough love.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Technically, Uncle Phil, I'm not really your flesh and blood. See, my Mom and Aunt Viv, they...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "I don't have any common sense.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Yesterday, a dismissed juror in the Show-Biz Madam Trial...came on the show and said some really icky things about him.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "You should be ashamed of yourself. Ow!", "c": ["Audience Member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Oh, no, not another rejection. Bad news? I sent this to Last Chance Video Dating. You know, 'We guarantee you a date,' except if your name is Carlton Banks.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "I wouldn't expect someone like you to have trouble meeting people. The only people I meet are dogs and shut-ins.", "c": ["Delivery Woman", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "You know, 'We guarantee you a date,' except if your name is Carlton Banks.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Sweet mother of God, that's a firm handshake.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Tell me, what do you have planned for tomorrow? Perhaps snapshots of me in the bathtub, huh? Or a video of me chasing stray dogs in my car.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Daddy, you don't do that, do you?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Daddy, you don't do that, do you?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Boy, here's a family that really puts the 'fun' back in dysfunctional, isn't it?", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "Will performs 'And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going' from Dreamgirls", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "The Script Formerly Known As"}, {"t": "...and he's not allowed to listen to that god-awful Biggie Smalls.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Tom Jones is the King of Swing. The Tower of Power. Mr. Vegas. This guy's a legend.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Well, I guess one song wouldn't hurt.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Just couldn't hang on there could you, little fella?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Five bucks? What do I look like? Come on, man. You got to break me off some.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "You know, I'm gonna have to take a shower. You wanna join me? What am I saying? It's even infected me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "What does that make it, eight times, Will? Eight times? You told me you hated it.", "c": ["Hillary", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "No, baby, I did. I mean... And every time, I wanted to just walk out of there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "You never stopped asking from the moment I started here.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "I spent my first seven hours of service here installing wall-to-wall carpet for Barbie's Dream House.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Well, it's not my fault that when Ken got home, he didn't like it.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, Skipper died in that fire.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "They're right here, big guy. I've crossed out what didn't work and rewritten the rest.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Mom, Dad said it's okay for me to use your car tonight. I didn't say that. Those weren't your exact words, Uncle Phil, but you kind of did imply that...", "c": ["Ashley", "Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "You know, there was absolutely no reason for me to jump in here, was there?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "None whatsoever. I'm gonna go ahead and jump out of here. Yes, jump on with your bad self.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Yeah, I can finally finish my speech.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Drank hot chocolate. Had pillow fights. Watched the O.J. trial. What a night.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Darn, another chain letter.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Sweet cheeks of Buddha, you pack a wallop.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "For some, it's bath night. For me, it's math night.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Hmm. She seems a bit of a gloomy Gus.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "For someone who's had four children, you look amazing.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "I was just trying to punish myself.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "All right, baby, you're the breast... Best! Best! I said best!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "As luck would have it, it's come to my attention that there's this cute little mail carrier that's available.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "What if I could promise you a terrible time?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "I guarantee you the worst time that you have ever had in your life.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Don't stop. Go on with whatever you're doing. Wait. Oh, my God. Ew. What were you doing? I don't even wanna think about it.", "c": ["Hillary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure he was wearing pants.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Uhh, as a child, he was dropped on his tongue.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "I'm a tutti-frutti man myself.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "What the heck is wrong with you, Carlton? That girl just offered you two scoops.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "I'm afraid I'm a one-gal guy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "It involves the word 'strip.' Set it up.", "c": ["Tiffany", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Eenie, meenie, minie, mo... now some of y'all's clothes gots to go.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Mad Dog? Mad Dog?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "That is if your breath don't kill us first.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Mad Dog. I'm sure he's nothing but a pussy cat.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "He's gonna eat me. And then he gonna floss with me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "As soon as the Black Ness Monster explains, we'll be home free.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Go on without me. Save yourself.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Go on without me. Save yourself.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "This is just a dream.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Hey, man. We from L.A. Stripper Gram. Yeah, you know. We got a special birthday wish for you from Tiffany.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "It's not my birthday.", "c": ["Mad Dog"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Macho, macho man / I've got to be a macho man / Young man, there's a place you can go / I said, young man / You're all out on your own / I said, Y-M-C-A / Y-M-C-A", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "This black-on-black crime makes me sick.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I just saw the state of Florida just pass over my head.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Shouldn't you be climbing up the Empire State Building?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Bet you wish you wouldn't have gone off that Slim Fast now, don't you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Shut up and get back in there, you're stretching the building.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, you know, it's almost winter. Eventually, he's gonna have to hibernate.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, you know, it's almost winter. Eventually, he's gonna have to hibernate.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Now, hand me the baby.", "c": ["Crisis Worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Sticks and stones will break your bones but a 50-foot fall will kill y'all. I made that up myself.", "c": ["Crisis Worker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "That civil service exam is really easy, isn't it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "How am I supposed to know? Who do I look like, Dionne Warwick?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "Sports. Football. Sports.", "c": ["Phil", "Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "I wasn't listening, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "If you was listening to me, what'd I just say? They always say that. I wasn't listening, you know?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Not I Barbecue"}, {"t": "I lost my head.", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Derek, you'll get in. You're too smart. I wish you were dumber.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "I'd have a boyfriend again.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Aw!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Look at you two. Almost a year apart and you two lovebirds haven't missed a beat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Although, these are the moments of your life.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no, you're right. You guys are grown adults and I don't have no business disrespecting you like this.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Uh-uh-uh.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Together?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Yuck it up, Brit boy, but remember, he who laughs last...", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Laughs best.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "You know, I kind of remember him being taller.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Really? I don't.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "I'm gonna let that one slide, young man. Obviously, you've fallen in with a bad element.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Me and my man, we call it the Hive. Because the honeys be swarming.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "That's disgusting. No. Actually, Carlton, that's a kiss. If you're lucky, one day you'll experience one.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Very funny. By the way, Will, I just got a call from Oz...the Wizard said your brain is ready.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Really? Let me help you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "I never liked the cut of that boy's jib. I'm not sure you should be admitting you've been looking at that boy's jib.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Makeup? Keep away from that blue eye shadow.", "c": ["Philip", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Big-sister radar.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "It's important, isn't it? I can tell. I have, like, a third sense about these things.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Oh! To put it simply, he was a god. He had been held back three years so he was really buff.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "But long-distance relationships don't usually work out. I mean, look at the Little Mermaid.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "I mean, she was stuck in the sea and he was stuck on land.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Any regrets? Didn't I tell you he was buff? Hello.", "c": ["Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Hoo! Now I know how Mom felt when we had this talk.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "What did Daddy say when you told him? Are you kidding? He still thinks I'm a virgin.", "c": ["Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Okay, what do you think? Nope.", "c": ["Ashley", "Keesha"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Well, if you guys don't pick one, I'll be going on this date wearing a headband.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "I'm sure Derek wouldn't mind.", "c": ["Keesha"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "When? If.", "c": ["Keesha", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Oh, there's a surprise.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "I wonder how I'd look if I shaved my entire body.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Keesha, it's not 'doing it.' It's making love. And, yes, I think we're gonna do it tonight.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. What are we gonna do?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "We'll make her watch movies. Lots of movies. Doris Day movies. Now, there's a good wholesome role model.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. 'Whatever will be, will be'? What kind of devil-may-care message is that?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "The slut.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Look, you need to calm down, all right? Look, we need to find a Yellow Pages. I'm calling a nunnery. It's late, so I'll need a 24-hour one.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Carlton, man, we ain't even Catholic. Oh! Would you have an open mind?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "This is all your fault. 'Ashley could never say no to you.' I told you I didn't like the cut of his jib.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Need I remind you there are demons out there that go by the name of: Sexually transmitted diseases, risk of pregnancy...improper use of a condom?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Thank God you're alive.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "So, Derek, you know about football? Yeah. Yeah, you do? Or, yeah, you don't?", "c": ["Carlton", "Derek"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "You're in a visitor's ballpark and if you do score...the angry fans might not be able to be held responsible for their actions. And it's bat night.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "All right, are you two in trouble with a bookie or something?", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "You're playing chess, your rook has been blindsided by the queen's gambit. You can play honorably, leave your bishop at home but protect your queen's virtue...or you can take the sleazy road and castle your king and go right for the mate. And it's bat night.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Do I make myself clear?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Ashley, now spying, that's such an ugly word. We were roaming.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "You know, I would expect this from Carlton...but not you.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Uh...", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Are you? Sure. Uh...I guess.", "c": ["Derek"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "So, heh, what do you wanna do now? I don't know. Miniature golf? Let's do it. Golf.", "c": ["Derek", "Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "Back off, Will. You telling me to back off, girl? Hold up. Now, this is me.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "You remember the first time I asked you about sex? You panicked then too. I did not. Yes, you did. You said that you needed to have a license to have sex...and that I couldn't even take the test until I was 35.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "That's true.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "That was so beautiful.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Not With My Cousin You Dont"}, {"t": "What, the static from Uncle Phil's corduroys?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I'm getting goose bumps.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "There's certainly some places in this desert where a brother can become a man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I don't know where none of them at, you know, you know, but... I'm gonna go ahead and get my knife.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Right now, they're in phase one. Chick flicks and mint Milanos.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I just know that one day Thelma and Louise will make it to the other side of the canyon.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Oh, Auntie Em, Dorothy got a miniskirt on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "You're an odd little man, aren't you? Yeah.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "See, she can't believe it either.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I eat around it, because cockroaches go straight to my thighs.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I'd switch plates with Carlton.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Does it say what I'm wearing?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "It's just that I've never seen you three without your makeup before.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Miss Ashley, if it hasn't worked by now...", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Like Mickey, only without the big white gloves.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Give me the loot. Give me the loot. I'm a bad, bad man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Maybe so, but I can't lose either. Not unless it comes up... Double zero, green.", "c": ["Carlton", "Dealer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "No, better not take the chance.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I was like a crap Mandingo.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Hey, can you spot a brother 20?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Hi, my name is Will Smith, and I'm a gambleholic.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I'm about to have me some of the devil's eggs and bacon too. Ha!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I don't wanna see no damn Hoover Dam.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Carlton, what the hell are you doing? What am I doing? I'm gambling. What do you think? Come on, eight.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I love you, man. You know I always loved you, man.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "A word to the wise, Will, never leave your PIN number in your wallet.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "No, wait, wait. Wait a minute. It was 18, we had eight. We should get something.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "No, wait, wait. Wait a minute. It was 18, we had eight. We should get something.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Carlton. Carlton. And then the blackjack table was saying, 'You can do it.' And then the slot machines just started yelling: 'Hey, you tall handsome guy, come shake my hand.'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "These are all my new friends.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "It's Saturday, the guys are at the gym.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of a hat.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Shut the hell up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Too late. He said, 'Too late.' He put the ring up. You know, he said, 'Too late.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Losing is more fun than winning.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "You deserve every one of them heads, Fred.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I've got space for you on my wall.", "c": ["Casino Boss"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I don't think it's gonna be the shock that you think it is.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "You're pathetic.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Carlton, look, a quarter. Oh, it's mine. It's mine.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Because there ain't no quarter, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "My mom got better moves than that the time her girdle slipped in Church.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Please welcome Will the Thrill and Boogaloo Shrimp.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "A very odd little man, but a man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "I mean, how dare they give us the booby prize.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, I got 20 that says I can. Hey, Will, you want some action on this?", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Viva Lost Wages"}, {"t": "What the hell are you doing down here? Oh, um, I thought I heard somebody breaking in. What you doing down here? Uh, the same thing.", "c": ["Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Pie's in the fridge. Yep. Nothing like sneaking a little pie before Thanksgiving.", "c": ["Philip", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "This is not the first Philip Banks pie-jacking. Son, son, I have been jacking pies since, what, Thanksgiving 1953.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Rhubarb. Tart little thing. 1954, I got sloppy. Got busted. 1955, we got a dog. Sparkie. From then on, the dog ate the pie.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "So I guess it's your nose I should've been shoving in the pan.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Well, actually, keeping his nose out of the pan would have been more of a punishment.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Oh. Grandma Hattie, the pie hider.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "God knows that The Hilary Show could use some publicity. There is no limit to your giving, is there, Miss Hilary? Thank you, Geoffrey, that's so sweet.", "c": ["Hilary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "I called down and put my name on a volunteer list. But I'm not physically going down there. But don't worry, it'll still look good on my r\u00e9sum\u00e9.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "But, Mom, I can't drive through that part of town. There are homeless people down there.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Okay, fine. But before I go, I'm taking the pennies out of my loafers.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "It's like looking in a mirror.", "c": ["Aunt Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "A regular Mother Teresa.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "No, no, no. For five hours straight, Helen never stopped moving. Well, that's why I've always had a boyfriend.", "c": ["Vivian", "Hattie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "You know that's right.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "I can't wait to get elbow deep in them turkey gizzards. Honey, you need to get cable.", "c": ["Ashley", "Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Just because I'm a woman, I'm suppose to don an apron on Thanksgiving? I don't think so. Well, I guess somebody burned their training bra.", "c": ["Ashley", "Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Aunt Helen, you ever heard of traveling light? And that's probably just her makeup.", "c": ["Will", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Funny, I don't remember voting.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "That's because it's so dry, it'd go up in flames.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Oh, we all know what a picky eater he is.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Never take sides when women are arguing. You can't win. Look at me, boy. Lesson number one, whatever you say is wrong.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Well, Mom, I think that your stuffing is the best in the world. Yes. What? Oh, I mean... I'm saying... At least that's what I thought before I tried Grandma Hattie's herb stuffing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Tsk, tsk, tsk.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "You gonna leave me hanging out here like this, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "How about y'all make them all? That's a good idea. Hey, yes. Okay, I'm for that. I guess I'll get to cook this year. And you can judge which is best. The both of you.", "c": ["Will", "Various", "Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Have you ever seen so many fashion don'ts in one room?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Could you help me? The food's over there. But I'll save a seat for you.", "c": ["Hilary", "Homeless person"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Beauty is such a curse.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "And fit too. You work out, don't you?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "But really, how famous was Oprah before she was famous?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Oh, no, thank you. I'm already fully accessorized.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "He can't catch a cold.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "You know, I once told her that the Fiesta Bowl was a three-day event. I didn't have to do anything all weekend.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Holidays are the reason they should've passed the ERA.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Ooh. The student has become the teacher.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Believe me, you don't need my onions to ruin your stuffing.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "You hold on to things like a rottweiler.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "I'm glad I never had daughters.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "What'd I do wrong? You didn't believe.", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Mommy, Daddy's fallen and he can't get up.", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "No, you didn't, Uncle Phil. You said, 'One, two.' But then when... I said, three.", "c": ["Will", "Philip"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah. You're probably right, Uncle Phil. And, you know, tonight, while we're all in the dining room having turkey... and four different kinds of stuffing and mashed potatoes... and sweet potato pie, cranberry sauce... And little tiny onions... swimming in a sea of cream sauce.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Have him mix you up, like, a turkey smoothie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "That time, you definitely said three.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Just because somebody stunted your growth... doesn't mean you need to take it out on me.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Is that a short joke? Why, did it go over your head?", "c": ["Server", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Maybe you ought to look into community college.", "c": ["Server"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Look like somebody hit you with an ugly stick.", "c": ["Homeless man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Well, I guess you don't have to be any kind of actress to be a talk-show host.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Actually, I do got a kink right in here, you know. Very tight.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Yeah, because they forgot their shoes.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Nine hundred numbers don't count.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "It's a tie. You both lose.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "What kind of a narrow-minded elitist view of the world do you have? You come down here once a year, give a guy a couple slices of turkey... and all of a sudden you think you're better than he is? I had you going.", "c": ["Homeless man", "Carlton"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "You're a gullible little fellow, aren't you?", "c": ["Homeless man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Do you have anything a little lower in cholesterol?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "I believe the correct term is large.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Baby, I will take the special with a side of coleslaw and some extra biscuits.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "Yeah, maybe this is a big deal, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Theres The Rub 1"}, {"t": "It's an honor, Your Honor.", "c": ["Hendricks"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Well, we can't say nothing happened, Uncle Phil. You know, there was a couple of butt-naked honeys scattered around that place.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "I guess you wasn't at the Million Man March, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Oh, girl, that boy couldn't keep up with me if I gave him a head start.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Girl, that man wasn't looking at you, he was looking at me. Looking at me like it was lunchtime and my legs was Colonel Sanders' extra crispy.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "If you mean something fast and cheap, yes.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Will you be my friend?", "c": ["Skippy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Um... No.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil, you might know your way around the mean streets of Bel-Air... but I think you better let me handle this brother on the phone, all right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "What's the big deal anyway? It wouldn't be the first time you broke somebody's legs. All right. I love you too, Mama.", "c": ["Tough prisoner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Maybe I don't come to places like this and do this kind of work as often as I could... but that's who I am, damn it. It doesn't make me a bad person.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Honey, I live here.", "c": ["Shelter resident"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "So the plates go in the back?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "I'm thinking that in a week when we look back on this, we are just gonna laugh. Maybe two weeks.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Hey, it's a good thing, man... I thought we was gonna have to Bruce Lee you up in here, you know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "A shot to the helmet? Oh...", "c": ["Skippy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "How about you, Banks? About the same.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Right, Mr. 'Hey, Big Guy... can I have a copy of your will in case something happens to you?'", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Yeah, if your last name's Menendez.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "See, you're a nag. That's exactly why you don't have a boyfriend.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Well, maybe they pulled in, smelled your stuffing and turned back around.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Shut up, Ashley.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "There's a bug on mine.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Stuck in a jail cell with some angry 400-pound man whose life you wrecked.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "And thank you so much for sharing it with me.", "c": ["Skippy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "I'm about to dig in to this cream-of-bug sandwich.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Big gorgeous roasted turkey... four different kinds of stuffing. Candied yams, and macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes... And little tiny onions swimming in a sea of cream sauce.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "And we want $10,000 in unmarked bills... and a helicopter on the roof gassed up and ready to take us to Tijuana. Oh, sorry. I just kind of got caught up in the moment.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Grape jelly? You can't make these with no damn grape jelly.", "c": ["Prisoner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "A turkey? Hardly. In point of fact, it's a Cornish game hen. A flightless bird hale from the Isle of Wight. Braised in cognac with a hint of fennel. A fitting end for a noble fowl.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "You're kind of weird. So you want one or not?", "c": ["Shelter resident"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "I exploit people every day of the week on my show. It's Thanksgiving, I'm gonna take the day off.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "For the first time in my life, I thought about others instead of myself. Ooh. I'm tingling all over.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Yeah. Just tell your boy he'd better be at the next march.", "c": ["Skippy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "When you have a chronic back problem and you go for a therapeutic massage... and wind up in a house of ill-repute, which is subsequently raided... and you are arrested by mistake... never tell your wife. Hmm? Poof.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Of course, I stepped out of the way so they couldn't actually touch me... but I really connected.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Thank you for keeping us safe and delivering us from... Tiny. Tiny, as well as larger temptations.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Thank you for our health. Thank you for this food. But most of all, thank you for keeping us safe and delivering us from... Tiny. Tiny, as well as larger temptations.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "A-woman.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Everything was exactly as delicious as everything else.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "I guess it was kind of fun when Vy dropped that bag of powdered sugar all over Helen.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Yeah, talk about being led around by your apron strings.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, I love y'all too... but the bottom line is my stuffing was the best. Any fool can see that. You tasted it. You tasted it with your own mouth.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Theres The Rub 2"}, {"t": "Hey, just let him know that the few times that I have been naughty, it was real nice.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "And if I said I weren't, would you leave me alone?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Today is the happiest day of my life. Until tomorrow, when my show goes national... which will make that the new happiest day of my life. That'll make today...", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "I get the pattern, Miss Hilary.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Click. Heh, heh. Look, I'm on.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "A bunch of pregnant women. - Great, I'll look thin. Not that I don't, anyway.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "But beware, in that last trimester, stripes are not our friends.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Werner, if you don't stop dancing, I'm about to get seasick.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "They like me. They really like me.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "My water broke.", "c": ["Pregnant woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Now, this is just like on ER, y'all. All right, so just chill. Everybody, just relax.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Can somebody get this clown out of here?", "c": ["Real doctor"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Whoa. What a coincidence, Hil, this is the happiest day of your life too. Your show just went national. - I know. Don't I look happy?", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what? Right after you wash that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, it's the perfect size for, like, I don't know... a THX, Dolby Pro Logic, surround-sound subwoofer.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "It makes it look cheesy... and I won't have it on my tree. - Oh, your tree?", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Let a brother get a finger full.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "I just can't seem to get this bowl to stand still. - It might help if you put down the eggnog.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Someone"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Sure, I have an effervescent personality... and a smile that could blind you from across the room... but I just feel so blah.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, were you saying something, honey? You've gotta talk into my good ear.", "c": ["Granny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Phoenix, Phoenix - This is the Hilary Show Phoenix, Phoenix", "c": ["Werner"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Something in between what you did and whatever it was that he just did.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Hil, couldn't you have said this with flowers?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Well, you know, bald head, pudgy. If he had a beard, he'd look just like my Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Whoa. Hey, dude. Hold up. He tripping. He tripping.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil's hand.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Oh. Remember, doc, no mouth-to-mouth on the first date, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, it's like a hotel. They expect you to take this stuff.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "You know, a cow would be happy to be in your kitchen.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Now, that would be bigger than the roast.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, get the Scotch. - It's gone, sir. - What? - You've said my attitude has improved lately. - How could this happen? - It's the pressure, sir.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "I think Aunt Viv must've dropped the ball on that little girl-girl talk.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Scotch is a pick-me-up. Damn that, Geoffrey.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Hi, Grandma?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "What have you got in a hunk?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "You wouldn't happen to have this month's, would you?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Ugh! I don't think so.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Ugh! I don't think so.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, yo. Thanks a lot, man. - Glad I could be of service.", "c": ["Will", "Worker"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, what'd you expect? Well, you know, after today, I kind of thought you... Oh. That was just a little setback. I'm a trouper.", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Well, I just hope my baby's a super-duper trouper too.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Come back to deliver another baby, huh? What, you get a commission on them?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Come back to deliver another baby, huh? What, you get a commission on them?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "So any mental illness in your family? Schizophrenia? Anorexia? You know, general weirdness?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "So back to you. Any heart disease? Gingivitis? Midgets?... Any relatives in the circus?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Any relatives in the circus? - Uh, not that I know of. I mean... I did have an uncle who was a clown. - Ew. Duly noted.", "c": ["Hilary", "Doctor"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Wait, wasn't I the one asking all the questions?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Imagine that, if you ain't had no kids. It'd just be you, Aunt Viv and me all by ourselves in this big house. Party, you know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Hey, look, Uncle Phil, I just want you to know I got your back. All right? Anything jump off, all you got to do is holler.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "You know, it used to be so easy. You'd cry, I'd buy you a bracelet. You cried louder, maybe some earrings. I miss those days.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, please. Your side looks like someone threw up on a snowman.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Your side? Please. I've seen better looking trees hanging from rearview mirrors.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Yeah. I mean, you might've laid the flock on a little thick... but other than that, it's very busy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "I'm just kind of getting the hang of this parenting thing here, know what I mean?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "You call that dusting, Geoffrey? Give me that. I'll do it myself.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "God bless us, everyone.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "I Ooh Baby Baby"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, I wish I got a model for Christmas. Mm!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Five-nine, 120. Bloo-bloo-blap-blap! Boom!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Wouldn't that be hard to put together?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "I'm the greatest and I'm pretty. You know I made you, Howard.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Now I'm gonna get medieval on you.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "We ain't really get to the sportsmanship part yet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "I'm not going because I don't want to. And you can't make me.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Oh, you're right, fluorescent lights. I should put on more blush.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "You're an idiot.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "I think you look like a family-size tube of Aquafresh.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "I stand corrected.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Gee, wouldn't that suck?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "I'm gonna float like a butterfly and stink like a bee.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Tight as them pants are, you probably started a forest fire in your drawers.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "I always scream like a girl when I'm working out.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Well, according to this, you're a can of Crisco.", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "But spread over a good base, right?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "You gotta work them yourself, Hil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Ew! I'm starting to sweat.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "That was a heck of a workout. What do you say we hit the showers?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "What you say I bring the oils?", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Oh. Oh, no, no. Hell, no.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Dog must be dipped at a 60-degree angle and rotated until completely coated.", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Churn, baby, churn", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Ashley, singing is what a Dippity Dog do.", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "You know, I got a better idea. Why don't you get back to your workout, you no-good, yellow-bellied waste of skin!", "c": ["Stan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "I don't believe the gold package said anything about rudeness.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no. You know, cute little gloves, nice tight little outfit. Works for you, cutie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Ain't nobody ever heard of Muhammad Ali Sheedy, you know. You know, it's Sonny Liston, it's not Sonny and Cher Liston.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Oh, no... You know what? My mom told me never hit a lady.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Because you're not fast enough?", "c": ["Helena"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "I can't. I can't.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Your mama. Mama said knock you out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Wow, I never seen a freak up close before.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Stop right there or I'll get my sister to come after you!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "You bring your sister over here, I'll knock her block off!", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "How should I know? You expect me to keep in touch with a wuss like that?", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Could be worse. Could be laughingstock of gym like you.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "The sheer humiliation alone...", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Well, at least I didn't get beat up by a girl.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Well, at least I didn't get beat up by a girl.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Ow! Argh! Hey. You messed up my count. I hate it when people mess up my count.", "c": ["Gym Guy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Hey. You messed up my count.", "c": ["Helena"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Okay, but that doesn't leave much for yogurt.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "No, no. When I knocked you senseless.", "c": ["Helena"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "You know, you have a real aggression disorder don't you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "You know, you have a real aggression disorder don't you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Take me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "That was really... impressive. Take me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Girl, you a little freaky deaky, ain't you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Code red. Code red. Man your stations, man your stations.", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Page 38 of the manual, 'Don't freak out.'", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "He signed me up for the platinum package. It's twice the price but he promised no rudeness.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "In the ring or in the jungle?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "In the ring or in the jungle?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Boxing Helena"}, {"t": "Mirror, mirror on the wall I ain't too short, I ain't too tall / Damn, if I don't have it all", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "It just has way too many buttons and the color is very '95", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Girl, you must be crazy. I look great. I'm the man when it comes to fashion", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go ahead and change", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Oh, please, that woman turned more tricks than David Copperfield", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Seems to me, community service is what got her in this mess in the first place. Serving the community", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Boy, are there gonna be a lot of lonely guys this Friday night", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everybody's hopes up like that and then showing up again", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Oh, thank God. I thought it was for me", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "There's a dude here from Appalachia. He says he thinks your mouth is kind of pretty", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Guess I'll put this in the hug pile", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "He's the nut we working with. Heh-heh-heh", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "I don't usually say this, but I agree with the little squidget", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "No, his family moved out of town. I ain't seen him since third grade", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Damn, I miss Bobo", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Hmm. And you're a pint-size simulated male", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Huh. He must be on a break, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Yo, I can see right through your clothes with these things. No wonder you're so shy", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Laugh", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Who needs brains when you got a body like that?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Looks like your well-oiled machine just ran out of gas", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Just let him bang down a couple Ding Dongs. He'll be all right", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Hey, yo. Hey, man, where does that leave me? You are so selfish", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Um... Wouldn't it be easier to just get a agent?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "I had an agent and then he had my wife. Heh. That's a joke!", "c": ["Juggles"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "I could've sold twice as many hamburgers as that Ronald guy. That no-act clown", "c": ["Juggles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "One little tent fire. One little elephant stampede. A couple of kids end up in the hospital", "c": ["Juggles"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Thank you. Thank you very much. But I'm coming with you", "c": ["Juggles"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "What are we, Driving Miss Daisy?", "c": ["Juggles"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Pedal to the metal, Tattoo", "c": ["Juggles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Oh, the sight of that perfectly chiseled foam body being mutilated by that 18-wheeler. You bastard", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "And you know how the ladies feel about clowns, huh? Huh? Ha-ha. Oh. You look like you might've had a little freaky rendezvous with the bearded lady", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "But I work alone!", "c": ["Juggles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "This is better than Benny Hill", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "We all remember when Judge Lance Peterson cracked and rendered a verdict with the aide of a sock puppet named Randy", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Ernie!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "You suck. All right? The reason you can't get work... you know, it's not because people don't like you, man... It's because you suck. You know? You're not funny. You suck", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Carlton, Ernie is dead", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Will was right. You do suck", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Oh, please. That ain't even right. I mean, he ain't insane. You know, he's just a clown that likes to make people laugh", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Hey, it's the dummy. Oh, yeah, and he found Safety Guy", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "You scream like a girl?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Well, buddy, looks like the security of the Banks family rests on our shoulders", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "I Clownius"}, {"t": "Give your little nephew Willie from Philly a little huggy buggy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Get off me.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Sounds like somebody got a little booty duty, huh, Uncle Phil?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Republicans for a Better Society? You gotta get me a T-shirt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Oh, politics. That's such a dirty corrupt business... filled with nothing but self-interest. - Yeah. Ooh. I've got goose bumps.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "The mark of a true politician. Tell them what they wanna hear.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Ah. Suck it up, Mom. You're in politics now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Oh, please. I hate my job. It's dirty. It's demeaning. I have to work for a bunch of ingrates. - You'll get used to it.", "c": ["Ashley", "Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Do I look like I drink out of the public water supply?", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Young lady, you will never serve lunch in this town again. - Is that a promise?", "c": ["Jewel", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Just this old guy that comes in here with a Polaroid.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, what do you know about wine? - I know no one does it better than you, Miss Hilary.", "c": ["Hilary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "I know no one does it better than you, Miss Hilary.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Wear something low-cut. - Well, duh.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "It's not that old guy with the Polaroid, is it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "You realize that modeling is a field... in which they judge you solely on your looks? - God, you are so lucky. Ha-ha-ha!", "c": ["Vivian", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "I think they handle Naomi Campbell. - I'd love to handle Naomi Campbell.", "c": ["Will", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Sure, you'll travel the world, wear beautiful clothes and make millions of dollars... but that's it.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Come on, Uncle Phil. This is Ashley's big chance for me to meet Naomi Campbell.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "After which all the models are gonna wanna come home with Ashley and have coffee. - Geoffrey, start making some damn coffee.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, start making some damn coffee.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Hey. Just invite them all over and we all just get butt-naked right here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "But, Philip, you hate the ballet. - Worse than holding your purse, Vivian. That's how sorry I am.", "c": ["Vivian", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "That's how sorry I am.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Nope. I'll handle it, Tattoo. - Get out of here. What, what, what? - Give me. Up, Queenie. Up, Queenie. Boss, the plane. The plane.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "You know, he'll stop that once you get him fixed.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "We'll go take care of this first thing in the morning.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "I'll pay you $20 apiece for your phone numbers. - Thirty. And when I call, you don't even have to say anything. Huh? Huh? Fifty.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but going to the funeral is not gonna bring your mother back, is it? - Be there.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Like you were West Philadelphia born and raised.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Yes. Oh, and I love the ears. Don't change them.", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Like you were West Philadelphia born and raised. - You're hired.", "c": ["Jewel", "Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "But you might be right for the husky pre-teen division. - Huh?", "c": ["Jewel", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Uh, Naomi wouldn't be around by any chance, would she?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Boom-bi-ya. Sound like we all on the same page here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "You know what, now that I think about it, why should we get anything at all? - Boom-bi-ya.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "We could live with 10.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Will and Carlton are sorry", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "No, thanks to you, I'll be working at Dippity Do Dog until I'm dippity dead.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "I'll be working at Dippity Do Dog until I'm dippity dead.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "I think you've been smoking a little bit too much of that cat nip.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "That man is on thin ice. - I'll alert the fish.", "c": ["Vivian", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "It's Management 'R' Us. Whose career are you ruining today?", "c": ["Jewel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "We were hoping you would consider re-signing her. - And why would I do that? - I'm telling you, Ashley is on her way to the top. I mean, she could be the next Naomi Campbell. - Uh, speaking of which, Naomi wouldn't be around, would she?", "c": ["Will", "Jewel"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Uh, speaking of which, Naomi wouldn't be around, would she?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Just walk around? Did Voltaire just write? Did Klimt just paint? Did Heidegger just think? - I guess we just go out there and walk around.", "c": ["Jewel", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "You would know. You've probably spent a lot more time with him than I have lately.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry, Carlton. We're all uncomfortable with your nudity.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry, Carlton. We're all uncomfortable with your nudity.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't have to think. Philip has decided to do all of the thinking for both of us.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "No, no, no. It's flip, rotate, turn, walk.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "You know, everything that you've been saying... resonates with the people in our community. That's why we're so thrilled that you've decided to run. - What?", "c": ["Joe", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Now there's some kids with no family values, huh, Phil? - I couldn't agree with you more.", "c": ["Joe", "Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Coming, Geoffrey. - Stay where you are. - Leave. - I said, stay. - Leave us alone. - Go, go, go. - Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Phil", "Vivian"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "The only thing I see is that somewhere along the way, us became you.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 1"}, {"t": "Sounds like somebody got a little booty duty, huh, Uncle Phil?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "After which, all the models are gonna wanna come home with Ashley and have coffee.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, start making some damn coffee.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "I'll alert the fish.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Oh, great. On top of it all, now I'm an orphan?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Hilary, you're 27. / I know. No one adopts anyone over 9.", "c": ["Carlton", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Hey, Uncle Phil... I just want you to know that it's okay for a man to cry.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "I'm on your team, Governor Banks.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "No one boils water like you, Geoffrey.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Boy, there are all kinds of ways to keep in touch.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Your skirt steaks are down at the depot. They'll be here by morning.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "That's not funny. / You are so right.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Well, she said, 'Did you talk to your mom back in Phil-adelphia?'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Besides, they're in her camp.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know, I been thinking about leaving. / Leave.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Child, please. Since Michael Jordan went back to the NBA... and started wearing them shorts again. Ah! Look at those buns. Booyah!", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "I'd give him a blast of pepper spray but I'm afraid he'd just eat it.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Yeah. She's teaching me all kinds of cool stuff, fat-head.", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Get it appraised!", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "I'm moving closer to the door, Vivian. This is your last chance. I mean it.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Oh, for God's sake, would you leave already!", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Hil, that's not a movie, that's what happened. / Oh, well, someone should make a movie of it.", "c": ["Carlton", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Big Guy, I got you covered. He was with me the whole time.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Once upon a time a little girl could've been a supermodel... but her parents got divorced and she lost it all. The end. Wanna hear another?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Exercise would do you good. / Was that a fat joke?", "c": ["Ashley", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "For the love of God, man, shred, shred, shred.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "I have no recollection of the event in question.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Now, be gone.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Hey, what up, dawg? What it be like?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "How about I shower with you? / Hey, hey, hey, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Every time! Every damn time. Every time!", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "He's butchering it.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "they got three pages worth of pork dishes up in here.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "They wouldn't let me bring my leaf blower.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "I don't hear nothing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "You gonna bring my Aunt Viv back", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "They won't. Just because I'm running for political office doesn't mean I'm gonna win. / Philip, you win at everything. / Ha, ha. Touch\u00e9, you got me there.", "c": ["Phil", "Vivian", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "What am I gonna do with all those campaign buttons?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do 2"}, {"t": "Boom, in Clyde's face. Ten bucks. Now give me my money, Pee Wee.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "This isn't just a video game, Dad. This is the new 32-bit super system...with digitized sound, VGA graphics and full-motion video. Yo, and it's real cool too.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "You've been rejected your whole life. You should be used to it by now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Somebody, pinch me. Ow!", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Well, you see, you two left the TV on, and... And, well, I, you know...", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "You want a piece of me?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "What about that piggy bank in your closet...under them issues of Big Butted Butler Babes?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "That was just a lucky guess, man.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Carlton's going to Princeton and you're panhandling. It's nice to see that everybody's reaching their potential.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "No.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Well, just keep them away from my car. I just got it waxed.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Planned? I don't know. I thought I'd just watch them run around.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Crash through the line of blue... Fight, fight For every yard. Princeton's honor to defend. Rah-rah-rah!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "So I guess that makes Pokey here the cr\u00e8me of wheat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "What's this? A Twinkie.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "A Afro pick. I wonder who this belonged to.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "I don't think you wanna be shaking hands with President Johnson right now.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "I mean, I know this might be a bad time, but you got some spare change?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Hey, look, Carlton, we're in a public place, man. Now don't embarrass me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Get out of here before I hurt you, girl.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Six and a half. Oh.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "These look like they've been worn before. Carlton, take the shoes and come on. Fine.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Dude, you rolled a 130. That's good. You know what that means? That I'm a natural? No. You gotta buy lunch. Huh?", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "It's not Big Birds, Big Ears. It's Blue Birds. Big Ears. That's funny. I'm gonna remember that when cookie time roll around.", "c": ["Blue Birds", "Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, can you give us a ride to nature?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Heh, heh. That's your Aunt Viv. Yeah, uh, her facial hair was different back then.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "We were startled by a deer, swarmed by butterflies. And I have such a headache from that babbling brook.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "What, the adapter for your inflatable doll came in?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Oh, so you're going to bowl? Ha-ha-ha. Well, that's very different. You certainly don't need Princeton for that.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "For the first time in my life, I'm standing on my own two feet filling my own two shoes.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Shut up, Will.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "It is a sad, sad day when Will Smith becomes the voice of reason.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "No. It just seemed the right thing to say.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Pins? What is that short for, pinhead?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "I used to dream that I was being chased by hot dogs and doughnuts. But it's just a dream. It means nothing.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "The man's hopped up on a 25-year-old Twinkie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Will, you're suffering from Pins envy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "And by the way, I have a coffee break in 15 minutes.", "c": ["Bowling Alley Employee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, why don't I not and say I did?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Let's just grab our balls.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Wait a... All right. Wait a minute. My shoe. My shoe... My shoe stuck. But... That's a do-over. That's not... No, hold up. No, that's a do-over. That's... No. Somebody paged me right when I went... Right when I was... Right when I was doing this, somebody paged me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Last one in the sauna is gonna get clogged pores.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "I kind of took a different approach. I kind of, like, steered right at him, you know what I'm saying? I think I may have strengthened his resolve to throw his whole life away.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "But then I had found out bowling ain't no sport.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Will, I find out that you contributed to my son not going to Princeton... you will be picking my shoe leather out of...", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "You're darn skippy, we should.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, it offered a quick high, cheap thrills and fast women, but who wants that?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "Dad, I can beat you at bowling.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "You want a piece of me?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "I Bowl Buster"}, {"t": "See, now this is called the-severed-finger-in-a-box trick. See, you just slide your finger up in the bottom and then voil\u00e0.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Ha, ha, ha. Ow!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "I don't know. I'll give it a try... but I've been trying to get G for years, he don't fall for nothing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "I'm looking for Geoffrey. - I'm Geoffrey. - Then you must be my father.", "c": ["Frederick", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Well, he fell for that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Where'd you get that outstanding cashmere jacket?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "There's a church next door. If you sit through a sermon you can eat for free. Bye-bye. Ta-ta. Cheerio.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Barbara?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "It's a family name.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "How can Geoffrey be your dad if he was never married?", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Well, you see, Nicky, sometimes the stork's arms get real tired, right? He pretty much leave the baby wherever he at.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Well, Nicky, sometimes the stork's map gets all scrunched up.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "That's right, G. Stick to your story, man. At least till the blood test come out, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Yo, he got the same interests as Miss July.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "That is, my room and half a shelf in the refrigerator.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "We'll stay up late, play Clue and try on each other's jackets. Heh, heh, heh.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Do I?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "I am. This is fascinating. - What's it about? - Me.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Kind of a riches-to-riches story, huh?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Who is this poor little homely child next to me? Uh, sweetheart, that was you.", "c": ["Hilary", "Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "You mean, you lied to me? You told me I was pretty when I wasn't? - Well... - Thank you. You really do love me.", "c": ["Hilary", "Philip"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, I hate to break this to you, but you're about 10 years too late. Boys Frederick's age don't play with toys.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Transformers. I've been looking for Razorbeast since, like, October.", "c": ["Frederick"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Bow before Razorbeast or I will crush you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "I don't even know whether he would prefer a loose or a firm pleat.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Then he doesn't have to know his dad throws like a girl.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Have you noticed how Father holds that dish perfectly balanced in his right hand... with his fingers just barely steadying it? Superb, Father.", "c": ["Frederick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "England must be really boring.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "None taken, Miss Hilary. I always consider the source.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Ah, to be a CAB grad and wear the school colors, black and white.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "No. CAB is very expensive. No, it's a dream that shall never be.", "c": ["Frederick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "I wanna be a butler too. No, you don't.", "c": ["Nicky", "Philip"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Man, the way this guy talk cracks me up. What y'all people call this? A clock. \"A clock.\" Heh, heh, heh. I gotta remember that.", "c": ["Jazz", "Frederick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "What y'all people call this? A clock. 'A clock.' Heh, heh, heh. I gotta remember that.", "c": ["Jazz", "Frederick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "All right. Excuse me one second, bro. I gotta go check my super secret stash.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "You ain't special. Fall in line, Brit boy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "\"The bathroom.\" Damn, I gotta learn how to speak that language.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Give me my money, man. I don't know what you're talking about.", "c": ["Will", "Frederick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I'm about to beat you down. Let's go, boy. Come on. Come on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Boy, let me tell you. You are so lucky that you Geoffrey's son. - I'm glad it finally comes in handy for something.", "c": ["Will", "Frederick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Oh, please. Me be a butler, serving the likes of you?", "c": ["Frederick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I haven't grown into my nose.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "You look like an ass.", "c": ["Frederick"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "I'll have you know this is a bona fide British bowler and bumbershoot. I don't know which is which, but I paid good money for the set.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "I cannot believe you sweating this fool.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Carlton, did you hear what I said? You just can't get over the fact that there's a couple new guns in town.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "If you don't stop talking like that it's gonna be in your leg.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Ow!", "c": ["Frederick"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Oh, who scraped the icing off your cupcake?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Oh, who scraped the icing off your cupcake?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "I think he went to go get his suitcase repaired.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Hey, my bowler's gone. That limey thief.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "What, were you just sitting around one day sipping tea and crumpets and just decided: 'Hey, I'm gonna fly halfway around the Earth... to go steal from the father that I don't even know'?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Yeah, he'll pretty much kick you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "No, no, I'm saying though, it's like you come home late, you know, to the crib... you don't want your parents to know, Geoffrey... will dime you out.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "All right? Because I'm about to practically annihilate you. All right? But I'm gonna get right to it. All right? Because this is gonna sting real, real bad. I ain't doing no pussy-footing around...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Master William... hurt me already.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Three out of four ain't bad.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "Will, I thought you said we was going out tonight? Here I come, y'all.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "The Butlers Son Did It"}, {"t": "All right, all right. Don't tell me. A rabbit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Yeah. I'm really good at this. Ha-ha.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 3.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Aww. Oh, look at the little lumpy bumpy bunny wunny.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "I remember. That was the Easter Grandma Hattie came over... and made that secret stew. What was that?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "It tasted like chicken but it wasn't.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I remember that stew. It was delicious.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, you gotta make that stew. Don't tempt me.", "c": ["Hilary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Tell old pharaoh Let my cousin grow", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Would you look at that? Shameful sucking up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Great, now I'm gonna have to buy another sweater.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Oh, I be in the back.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Oh. Yeah, Rev, you know, Sunday's kind of a bad day for me, you know... what with Saturday usually being a late-night night... you know what I'm talking about? But I tell you what, y'all get something kicked off on a Tuesday, I'm there.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Tomorrow, gosh. Man. You know, any other day but tomorrow I could've done it, you know. Even yesterday. Even yesterday. But... Pbbt.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Ladies? There's gonna be some honeys up in there? I can guarantee at least a couple honeys. Heh. I'll see you tomorrow.", "c": ["Will", "Reverend"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Come on down there and I get myself a little sticky, you know what I'm talking... You know. You know what I'm saying. You know, because honey is sticky. You know.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "My, what a handsome devil. And I feel kind of devilish.", "c": ["Elderly church lady"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Whoo! Oh! Oh. Oh, man. Oh, I got a page. Oh, it's 911. Tupac just got arrested again. I need to go.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "I didn't hear any pager. Oh, um... Well, this is the kind that vibrates. I didn't see your hip vibrating. Wish I had though.", "c": ["Will", "Elderly church lady"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Not too bad. Except for all them old ladies down there pinching my cheeks. Well, Will, that's the way old ladies are. They see a young man with a cute face, they love to pinch his cheeks. I ain't talking about my face.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Yeah, unless Grandma Hattie pulls another Fatal Attraction.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "You gotta teach him, like, some aerabbits. Rock, rock the rabbit, rock Don't stop", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Hey, stop playing, Verna. Ain't nobody that nearsighted.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Your cookies suck. Well, suck this.", "c": ["Will", "Rose"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "You know, it does feel good to give something back to the communit... Hey.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Visual gag - Will falls off ladder during his speech about giving back", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Nice try. Now watch how it's done. Make a note. Unruly.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Vivian, I've always been in love with you.", "c": ["Reverend Sims"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Well, first of all, because you seasoning the chicken with cleanser.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Makes sense to me. Look like the Rev's trying to get his hallelujah on.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "I was asking you what's going on because there ain't nothing going on in here. There's nothing going... I wanted to know with you. Did you have something going on? Because we don't have any.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "You can't. Uh... Ain't enough chicken. I mean, there's too much chicken. You know what they say about ministers. You know, they will eat and eat and eat until they die. Yeah. They're like goldfish.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Come on, Harry, give me another one. Be all that you can be", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Where's Harry? Uh... He went upstairs, boom, two steps at a time. I guess he was really hungry. Where's his box? He took it with him. Because he knew it didn't belong down here, he put it away.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "But if he was hungry, why didn't he just come in the kitchen? Nicky, he's just a rabbit.", "c": ["Nicky", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "What? What? Uncle Phil, you killed him? Oh, my God. Does anybody know?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Okay. All right. All right. Uncle Phil, go upstairs, pack a bag. I'm gonna get the car. We gonna shoot down to Tijuana. We gonna chill in Mexico, this whole thing blows over.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Will, they don't arrest you for sitting on a rabbit.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "I thought you killed Harry. Will, who did you think I killed? I thought you killed Harry.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "It was all they had.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Would you prefer a breast or thigh? Uh! He'll take a wing.", "c": ["Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Could you pass the pork... dork?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Yeah, you might wanna cover all the commandments this year.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Daddy, you know how you told me that Harry's black now... because rabbits change colors for Easter? Isn't there a little more to that story?", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "Daddy, did you sit on Harry? Yes. But... But... That's okay, Dad. Death is a natural part of life. But what a way to go.", "c": ["Nicky", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "Hare Today"}, {"t": "But it'll cut into my trick or treat... Ha, ha, ha.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.48, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "I can't do it. I'm just gonna say my line and go.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Boy, you stupid. That boy's so dumb. Cut, cut, cut.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Hey, Dick Clark, what you doing here, man? You're doing a blooper show, aren't you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Okay. You mean like naked-bikini-model bloopers.", "c": ["Dick Clark"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "That's a little off topic. How about something maybe related to the show? That is exactly why you the king, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "His room number is 1730. I think that's the year he was born.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Look at him. Fronting. He know he can't read.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "You know, it's like early-American wino. That kind of thing he's got going.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "You know what? I don't ever remember that man missing a line. Ever.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "What am I about... What I'm about to do... What I'm about... What I'm about... What am I about... What am I about... What am I about...", "c": ["James Avery"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Boy, I bet Noah could've used one of these Johns. You know what I'm talking about?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "But you know, Will, ha, ha, ha... I really want you out of my room.", "c": ["James Avery"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Y'all don't wanna see that.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Man, that dance is your trademark. So is overacting.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "You. You did this to him. Oh, no. Ah! No! No! How could you do this? Oh, God! No!", "c": ["Alfonso Ribeiro"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Look, I will not be publicly embarrassed by, um, um, a problem... of me remembering my damn lines. It won't happen, damn it. I'm not gonna allow it, all right?", "c": ["Alfonso Ribeiro"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "No, no, no. That's called good show energy. This is overacting. I would've expected this from Carlton... but not you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "That was from Good Times. Where's my Willy, Carlton? I can't find my Willy.", "c": ["James Avery"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "No. Why don't you go bug Ta? Go ahead. Don't bug Ta.", "c": ["Karyn Parsons"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Only 41. You'd think that would tire me out. But I'm more awake now than when we started.", "c": ["Karyn Parsons"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Ha, ha. So you're gonna throw a fork at me?", "c": ["James Avery"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "What is this thing about lipstick you got going on? All right. We've known each other for six years. I should be able to put lipstick on you. You're disrespecting me.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "I guess all that British stuff went right out the window, huh?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "I'm an actor, not a machine.", "c": ["Joe Marcell"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Yeah, whatever. Just lose the phony accent.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Even though James takes up most of the circle... As well I should.", "c": ["Will", "James Avery"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Now I'm a happy chicken.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "If anybody know my line just tell me what it is, right?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Granny, I really like you. I mean, you and Grandpa... Grand... That dude that you married.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "Didn't really work for me, you know. I didn't think it was too funny.", "c": ["Dick Clark"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "I Whoops There It Is"}, {"t": "You running away from home, you gonna need some food. You know, bums, they don't like to share.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Try to stop you? No, man, with you gone that's more food for me, you know. Plus, I get to keep your turtle and that banging little bike you got.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "I'm 5, you dork.", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "What, you some kind of freak, boy?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "You got yourself a secret life going, don't you, G?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Not post position five!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "You sure his tail wasn't up in the air at the time?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "How cute, Daddy. I'd have to live there, of course.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Of course you would, muffin. Of course, it's always been my dream to send my underage daughter off to New York unsupervised. Isn't that every parent's dream?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "What, that be like a six-lane highway?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "I bet on every horse.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "He's never been the tallest person in a room before.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "No, acting, but I sucked. My old acting partner is head of the school now. Guess he couldn't even direct, huh?", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Oh, you're smart. You should produce.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "I'll be there at 7. I'll be there at noon. Feel free to have a bagel while you wait.", "c": ["Frank", "Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Some short stack told me to get out of the paddock area. God, that feels great to say.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "He ain't even leave the gate yet, man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Wednesday Bingo is taking a nap.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Ashley, the man is in show business, he wouldn't lie.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "It's only a day away", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "You bastard!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. You been sipping that gin and juice.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Will attempts the commercial: 'And when they do, don't sweat, y'all. Drink Jet.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Well, then, be a woman on the go. Leave so I can vacuum.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "You mean, you just say it and they do it? Okay, girls... get naked.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Uh... Simon says, get naked.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "And I ain't talking about the soda.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "He'll blame Will like he always does. Oh, okay.", "c": ["Hilary", "Carlton"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Yeah, even though they're not showing that much of her face.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "That's only because I have trouble sleeping and the sound of the waves gently caressing the shore helps relax me.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Nice cover. Nice cov...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "There, I said it, your dominance.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Woof, woof, woof. You are the king of the jungle, Mufasa.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Hi, sweetie, you look awfully pretty.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "You ain't nothing but Simba.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "You got into him. You're the rat that dimed me out.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "You don't like rat. How about snake? Weasel? Doody-head?", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Don't be calling me no doody-head.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "I'm 5, you dork.", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Well, Uncle Phil, man. How long you been standing there? You know, you're a light stepper for a big fella.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "The king of the jungle?", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Big man, short fuse. Bad combination.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Shut up, Will.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Yep. You better make it home before Saved by the Bell starts.", "c": ["Rival Model"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "So maybe you and your little horsehair weave should just mosey on... before I get really upset.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Better some horsehair than some no hair.", "c": ["Rival Model"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "And, by the way, your mother.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Mama. It's 'mama,' Ashley. Mama. It's 'your mama.'", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Hey, except for that cat girl. She had a beard.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "I moved out of the horse when I was 17.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Want me to get you some Pepto-Bismol, Uncle Phil?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "You can relate to that, Uncle Phil.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "He did it. He did it. What? Hey.", "c": ["Hilary", "Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "I Stank Horse"}, {"t": "Come on, C, you're not big.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "You wouldn't believe the money to be made kicking people out of their own homes.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Such a big heart for such a little man.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Ah. Fore. Uhn.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Oh, me? No... Yes.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Well, that's not exactly all we think about, if you know what I'm talking about. Ha.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.22, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Of course, we don't have losing to compare it to.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "You go, girl.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Oh, goody. I thought I was going to run out of things to do today.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Miss Hilary, it's comments like that, that makes this job worthwhile.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Ah. Another pair of hands to lighten the load.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Hey, what's up, Regis? / You can call me Mr. Philbin.", "c": ["Will", "Regis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "That's a joke. / I got him.", "c": ["Regis", "Will"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Hey, don't ever call me Reg.", "c": ["Regis"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "No, I'm serious. Don't ever call me Reg.", "c": ["Regis"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't Martina and Steffi.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "'Black number five coming up. Ha-ha-ha.'", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna pretend I ain't see that little dance you was just doing.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "What? A sandwich? Uncle Phil, we just had breakfast a half hour ago.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know. Turkey, bacon, three layers of white toast.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Oh! Hey, Mercer, you should save that dazzling wit for the courtroom. You might even win a case.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "I hate to be a stickler, but that's my chair.", "c": ["Regis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "It would be in my best interest if I could sit in the same chair I've been sitting in for the last 15 years.", "c": ["Regis"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Fine. Big baby.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "I'm drawing a blank here. / Don't fix it. / Fix what? / It.", "c": ["Hilary", "Regis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Big baby.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Hell, no, how could we? He's an even worse golfer than you.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "You had a great time losing?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "I mean, once the police come and toss the family out, it's mostly paperwork.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Let me tell you, this dude right here is just straight loqued-out on a golf course, man.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "All you gotta do is not concentrate.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "I can not concentrate.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Yes, but I'm still working here.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Well, you shouldn't. Not because of that anyway.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Bet it was that dirty boy Bobby Mercer. You know, it's always the quiet ones.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Wait, Carl...? What, I'm supposed to play on my knees?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Maybe worse.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Shoot, with my swing, I might as well play with these.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "It takes two people to banter. / Not when I do it.", "c": ["Regis", "Hilary"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "When that little round yellow fuzzy thing comes at you, take a swipe at it.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Your outfit was too loud.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "But if you double fault one more time, I am going to put you up for adoption.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Great, maybe then I'll wind up with a mother who can hit a decent backhand.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Well, let me say it louder then.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "As long as she ain't got a forehead like her daddy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "He told me he didn't have any children.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Carlton, you still owe me for those Milk Duds.", "c": ["Rich"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Ha-ha-ha. You keep talking, Mercer, and I'm gonna hand you something else.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "I mean... Ow! My shoulder string.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "If you help me win this thing, you'll never have to work another day in your life. But you have fun.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Grab your club, son. If you help me win this thing... you'll never have to work another day in your life. But you have fun.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Regis loves me for finally bringing a little flavor to the show.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "That's right, Reg, I'll be right here next to you all week.", "c": ["Arthel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "Oh, great. Now where am I supposed to sit?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "I Stank Hole In One"}, {"t": "I met him after Princeton.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Well, it's not mine. My Barbie's at home fast asleep in her Barbie Dream House.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Um... It doesn't matter whose it is. Let me see this trumpet.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Uh... Uh... Uh... Billy. Billy who? Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh... Billy Butterworth.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Actor, director, novelist, bon vivant William Shatner?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "You slept in the same pool house with me knowing this... knowing what it would mean to me, and you didn't say a word? I don't even know who you are.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Hello? I wasn't finished.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Okay. What do you mean 'okay?' ... Okay. What...?", "c": ["Will", "Hilary"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Oh, don't tell me someone withheld information from somebody.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Ashley, you've never been this happy for me. I still haven't been. This is about me.", "c": ["Hilary", "Ashley"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Perhaps that iron fist that you rule with has gotten a bit rusty, sir.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Perhaps I should hit something.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Be careful of misguided anger, sir.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Okay.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Thought beaming down would be too flashy, huh? Good one, Dick.", "c": ["Dick West", "William Shatner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "What is it about these suits that they feel they have to make some lame Star Trek joke when they start off?", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "I guess you thought beaming down would be too flashy, huh? Get it, huh? That's a good one, Dick. Well, actually, his name is Carlton. Who cares?", "c": ["Carlton", "William Shatner"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "That's a good one, Dick. / Well, actually, his name is Carlton. / Who cares?", "c": ["William Shatner", "Will", "Shatner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "How about that Heather Locklear? Hubba, hubba.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Yeah, get away from this guy.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Warm? It doesn't get that cold in California.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "I remember my first visit to New... Mexico. Ah. New Mexico. Heh. Nothing like taking a bite of the Big Ap... Tostada.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "You are not going to New York. Vivian. Vi... She's not going to New York. You are not going to New York. Did you hear...? I'm your fath... You're not going to New York.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "She's not going to New York.", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Most people are intimidated by me. They let me win.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Very funny, Will, giving me the wrong address.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "All right, I won't talk. I promise. And? And if I feel myself getting overexcited, I take a time out.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't need a time out. I don't need a time out. I'm sorry, Will, I can't help it.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Just make it out to, 'Carlton, my best friend on Earth, bar none.'", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "I can't. I have this arrangement with the people who do the Star Trek conventions. I have to charge you $50.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Try and cash it at the bar. And while you're there, get me a drink.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Carlton? No, no, no. Not him. I mean, he cute but I ain't never really...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Better watch it. Hilary be taking aerobics and stuff like that. It might hurt you.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "I've been canceled a time or two myself. Always led to something better.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "We move in different circles.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "How could he like you more than me? You haven't even read any of his books.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "You broke my damn tooth.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Jim. We'll get you there warp speed. Get a life.", "c": ["Carlton", "William Shatner"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "I can take it out on anyone I want. I'm William Shatner.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Did you sense the power in that man?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Shut up.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Carlton, he all hyped up on that goofy gas. Man, turn that thing off.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "'Hangding.' Carlton, he ain't snapping out of it, man.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Hey, Bill, look. I'm Timmy the Tooth. Hi, Timmy. Wait, wait, wait. I wanna be Timmy. Let me be Timmy.", "c": ["Carlton", "William Shatner"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Hey, you Timmy the tooth. I'm Bubba Gump.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Hey, wait. Wait. Wait a second. Hey, Carlton, look. Uncle Phil's toothbrush.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Spock, is that you? Your ears are the same but something's different.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Scotty, you're black.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Damn it, Jim. I'm a black boy from Philly, not a doctor.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.78, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Throw your hands in the air if you's a true player", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "This guy kills me. He's killing me.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Hey, Werner, I just wanna say... I love you, man.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Sulu, where you been? And why are you out of uniform?", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Absolutely. I'll see you in court.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Everybody, rumba.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "That's right, boy. You better recognize. ... No, no. You better not had meant, I know you ain't mean. Smarten up, Opie.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "I may be in an altered state right now but when those cameras are on me... and those lights hit me, I'll be 100 percent dope.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Girl, you a bad mamma jamma.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "I know.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Don't let your mouth write a check your pool stick can't cash.", "c": ["William Shatner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "You never beat me at pool. / Oh, Bill, Bill, Bill. I see you still got your buzz on a little bit, huh?", "c": ["William Shatner", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "And captain... live long and prosper.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Hey, what about my autograph?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Hey, what about my autograph?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "I've decided... Are you ready for this? ... to let you move to New York. But, Daddy... Honey, honey, let him have this one.", "c": ["Uncle Phil", "Ashley", "Vivian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Okay.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Adversification, but...", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "I lost my job, you lost your daughter. / Two daughters. / Two of them. Deuce. Deuce.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "I lost my job, you lost your daughter. Two daughters. Two of them. Deuce. Deuce.", "c": ["Will", "Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Will you hold me?", "c": ["Uncle Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Eye Tooth"}, {"t": "Man, you looked just like a cow caught in the headlights.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "The correct term is 'deer caught in the headlights.' / Oh, yeah, yeah. I know. / Forty-eight, 49, a jillion.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Mom, how old are you? / Younger than your father. / But everything's younger than Dad.", "c": ["Ashley", "Vivian", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "And a nephew that's, uh... That's, uh... Hey, buddy, you're gonna love kindergarten.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Well, it looks like we're all in the fast lane. Except for Will. I mean, someone has to be stuck on the soft shoulder.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Y'all hear what he said? Stuck on the soft shoulder. Hey, are all the other munchkins as funny as you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Great, I love champagne. I mean, I love the look of it. The color and the bubbles.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Oh, Geoffrey, I'm gonna miss you. Oh, we have to have a special going-away dinner for you. What do you wanna make?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Will, you can come to kindergarten with me.", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Geoffrey, get in here, I need you. / Oh, don't you just love it? / Love it.", "c": ["Hillary", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "I'm not getting older, I'm just getting better. / That's the same thing I'd say if I was on the downside of the hill.", "c": ["Phil", "Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Before I go to Princeton, there's a few loose ends I'd like to tie up. I've taken the liberty of re-drafting your will. Now, if you'll sign right here and initial this little box... in the event you lapse into a coma, that'll give us the right to pull the plug.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "How about a little sensitivity? / All right, but if he keels over today, we're screwed.", "c": ["Will", "Carlton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Happy birthday, Mr. Banks. Heard you had quite a soiree last night. That's French for 'shindig.'", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "What's French for 'unwelcomed guest'?", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "They're false teeth. They were my grandmom's. She don't need them no more.", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Man, Uncle Phil, you beat your own record by, like, 10 feet.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "There he is. The oldest man in the world.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "But that won't get my dry cleaning picked up. Chop-chop, Geoffrey.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "And to think I fished that boy out of the pool.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "I don't think so. We agreed I could pick out the colors. / We agreed that you would have input. / That's right, and I'm inputting these colors into our apartment. / My apartment.", "c": ["Ashley", "Hilary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "And I just changed my mind, you'll have no input whatsoever. / This is gonna be so much fun, us living together.", "c": ["Hilary", "Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "I'm gonna miss this time we've spend together. Me working hard, focusing on my career... and you sitting around in the house all day in your robe playing Nintendo.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "You always make me feel so, so superior.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Like the story of the grasshopper and the ant. The ant worked all summer long storing up food... while the grasshopper frittered away his time. Well, the winter has come and you've just been frittering. Frittering. Frittering. Frittering.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "You know the ladybug from the bookstore, the one the ant has the crush on? She even came over to spend some time with that fine grasshopper. The weekend he was away at Princeton.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Well, what was she doing here? / Frittering. / Mm. She fritters so good.", "c": ["Carlton", "Will"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "And soon enough, you're gonna be the only guy in the pool house. With the rest of us striking out on our own... the only question is, who's gonna move out first, you or Nicky?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Better hope he doesn't go to boarding school.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "My friend doesn't know what pensive means.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "It's the tale of the young Earl of Monroe... who wanted to build a bridge over the River Mersey. He labored for years and years and finally he was all done and quite proud of himself.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Well, actually, when the earl completed the bridge, he flung himself off it. / Dude killed himself? / Quite.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "That's the advice that your father gave you? / My father was not a well man.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Yeah, I guess I could start by washing your pants in a thimble.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Oh, not to worry, Big Guy. Will's gonna be sitting around this table for years to come.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "It's either that or the Homeboy Homeless Shelter. Ha!", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "For your information, midget boy, I already got an apartment.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Don't toy with my emotions, Will. I've been waiting a long time, I'm very vulnerable.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "The pool house is mine. Yes.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Looks like you've painted yourself into a corner this time, Master William.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "I'm one of the best corner-getter-outers that there is. You'll see.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Within a week, I shall be at 30,000 feet headed to London... with many tiny bottles of Jim Beam dancing in front of me.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "But until then... your back is mine.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "When did the story fairy descend on this house?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Fine. Don't touch that channel! That cupcake's mine!", "c": ["Landlord"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "I just thought somebody was there, you know, because... / No. I'm alone.", "c": ["Will", "Landlord"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Did you ever see that movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "In lieu of my spring bonus, I think it would be a magnificent gesture... if you sent me back to London first class on the Concorde. / What would you consider an adequate gesture? / Business class with a kosher meal.", "c": ["Geoffrey", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "What would be less than adequate? / Working here another year.", "c": ["Phil", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Will did it. / No one did anything. Now sit down.", "c": ["Carlton", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Then what's the point of moving? / Can I have that one back?", "c": ["Ashley", "Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Hilary, you're 27. / That doesn't leave this room.", "c": ["Phil", "Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Oh, great. Now I can kiss Glee Club goodbye.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Dad. November's sweeps month. No can do.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "What if I meet somebody and they invite me to their house? / Well, what if I meet somebody? / Well, what if she meets somebody?", "c": ["Ashley", "Carlton", "Hilary"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Man, this is less than what I'm paying now, Mr. Clark. / No, call me Peter, huh? / Oh, cool. Peter. / Hey, so when you moving out? / I'm not moving out.", "c": ["Will", "Peter"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "That's plenty of time to paint. Chop-chop.", "c": ["Nicky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "The word 'duh' comes to mind.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Uncle Phil can relate to that. He a man, he lumpy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Dad, we've already been through this. We'll give you Columbus Day.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "What are you, crazy? I mean that in the most respectful way.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "I know what this is. I did an entire show on it. 'The change of life.' Are you experiencing mood swings? Trouble sleeping? Do your breasts ache?", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "I am not going through menopause. / Mood swing at 3 o'clock.", "c": ["Vivian", "Hilary"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. It's soft, Uncle Phil. Marshmallowy.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Then let's dump this puppy.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Yeah, she grew up in this house, and Carlton still has a lot of growing to do.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Did I say that?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "Oh. Um... I bought a monkey.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "I Done 1"}, {"t": "The word 'duh' comes to mind.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Sound like that's what got caught in your throat.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "I mean, we got floor-to-ceiling walls and wall-to-wall floors.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "I mean, uh, it's big in a real petite kind of way.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Separation anxiety. You can't bear to have reminders of me in your new place.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "I got no-apartment anxiety.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "That's a question that haunts me every day.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Not selling the house? Yep.", "c": ["Will", "Geoffrey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Yeah, Willis would love it.", "c": ["Arnold"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.05, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Yeah, that is if he wouldn't mind living over a haunted Indian burial ground.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "At night, you can hear the wailing of the dead.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "What you talking about, Will?", "c": ["Arnold"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "You know, those things were a lot funnier when you were still a little child.", "c": ["Willis"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, Dad, your little stories were a lot more interesting back then too.", "c": ["Arnold"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Oh, believe me, Will. The fire went out a long time ago.", "c": ["Wife"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Easy. He's cheap.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "One look at a bald-headed miser like you, they'll be crossing right back over.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Memorial Day, it all comes off, you know what I'm talking about?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Something about being in by Memorial Day and it all coming off.", "c": ["Philip"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "I mean, Geoffrey only has two hands.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Geoffrey only has two hands.", "c": ["Vivian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Good one, Daddy.", "c": ["Hilary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "God built the whole universe in that much time. He had better credit.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "It's because I'm black, ain't it?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Well, it's wall-to-wall doors and floor-to-ceiling floors.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Because it's tented.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "It's a condo is what it is.", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "what you mean by verge? Don't push your luck.", "c": ["Will", "Phil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Yeah, look at you, boy. Six years, you couldn't fight the flood, could you?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Well, you know, I'd like to think of myself as with it.", "c": ["Phil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I know I don't own two What's New Pussycats?", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "That just doesn't sound right coming from me, does it?", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Carlton performing 'It's Not Unusual' by Tom Jones", "c": ["Carlton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Yes! Ha-ha-ha! I'm sorry.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "I'm getting lightheaded.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Just kidding.", "c": ["Geoffrey"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Hey, who turned out the lights?", "c": ["Jazz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "I am definitely gonna miss you, C.", "c": ["Will"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "ss": "the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "I Done 2"}, {"t": "Ooh! Careful, Homer! There's no time. We're late.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "How still we see the elie", "c": ["Children's Choir"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.82, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Hey, Norman, how's it goin'? So you got dragged down here too, huh?", "c": ["Parents"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Pardon my galoshes.", "c": ["Parent"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "In Germany, Santa's servant Ruprecht gives presents to good children... and whipping rods to the parents of bad ones.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "I have eyes in the back of my head... so children better behave when I'm nearby.", "c": ["Student as Hotseiosha"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Ooh, it's Lisa! That's ours.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Uh, medley of holiday 'flavorites.'", "c": ["Teacher/Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.38, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Oh, jingle bells Batman smells Robin laid an egg The Batmobile broke its wheel The joker got awa--", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Isn't Bart sweet, Homer? He sings like an angel.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "How many grades does this school have?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Our little cat Snowball... was unexpectedly run over and went to kitty heaven. But we bought a new little cat, Snowball I.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's, and Bart-- Well, we love Bart.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Marge, haven't you finished that stupid letter yet?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Sorry. I'm just a big kid. And I love Christmas so much.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Oh, please. There's only one fat guy that brings us presents, and his name ain't Santa.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Oh, Lisa, you've asked for that for the last three years, and I keep telling you Santa can't fit a pony into his sleigh. Can't you take a hint?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "A tattoo? A what? Yeah! They're cool, and they last the rest of your life.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Yeah. If you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your allowance. All right!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Somehow I doubt that Homer is excited. of all the men you could've married, I don't know why you picked one who's always so rude to us.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Good one, Dad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "What do you think, kids? Nice try, Dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. Oh! Oh, neato! It's too bright. I oughta-- Flanders. What a big show-off.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Turn around. you can look now. Ooh! Big jar this year.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Oh, Bart, that's so sweet. It's the best present a mother could get, and it makes you look so dangerous.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "One 'Mother,' please. Wait a minute. How old are you? Twenty-one, sir.", "c": ["Bart", "Tattoo Artist"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "However, for you semiskilled workers, there will be no Christmas bonuses. Oh, and one more thing. Merry Christmas!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Oh, thank God for the big jar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "However, it is rather expensive, and we must insist on a cash payment up front. Cash? Mm-hmm. Thank God for Homer's Christmas bonus.", "c": ["Doctor", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Ay, caramba! Now, whatever you do, don't squirm. you don't wanna get this sucker near your eye or your groin.", "c": ["Bart", "Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "you don't wanna get this sucker near your eye or your groin.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Ow! Quit it. Ow! Quit it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "The jar is empty! Oh, my God! We're ruined. Christmas is canceled. No presents for anyone!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. My Christmas bonus. How silly of me. This'll be the best Christmas yet. The best any family ever had.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "I don't deserve you as much as a guy with a fat wallet... and a credit card that won't set off that horrible beeping.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Pantyhose. Practical and alluring. A six-pack. Oh! Only 4.99. Ooh! Pads of paper. I bet Bart can think of a million things to do with these.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "A little squeak toy. It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Well, which ones are yours and which ones are mine? Well, let's see. Oh, this one's mine. This one's mine. This one's mine, and this-- They're all yours!", "c": ["Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Hey, you dropped your pork chop. Gimme that!", "c": ["Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "What's the matter, Homer? Somebody leave a lump of coal in your stocking? You've been sitting there, sucking on a beer all day long. So? So, it's Christmas.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "I got me a part-timejob working as a Santa down at the mall. Wow! Can I do that?", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Do you like children? What do you mean? All the time? Even when they're nuts? Uh, I certainly do.", "c": ["Mall Manager", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Um, Dasher. Dancer. Mm-hmm. Prancer. Mm-hmm. Nixon. Comet and... Cupid. Donna Dixon?", "c": ["Homer", "Santa Trainer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "You're not really Santa, tubby. Why, you little egghead!", "c": ["Kid", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Hello, Patty. Hello, Selma. How was your trip? Fine. you both look well. Thank you. Yeah, well, Merry Christmas. It's Christmas?", "c": ["Homer", "Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "you wouldn't know it around here. And why is that? For one thing, there's no tree I was just on my way out to get one!", "c": ["Selma", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "So what do you think, kids? Beauty, isn't it? Why is there a birdhouse in it? Uh, that's an ornament.", "c": ["Homer", "Kid", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Do I smell gunpowder?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Hey, I couldn't afford lunch. Give me a bite of that donut.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "I hope you feel better, Santa. Oh, I will when Mrs. Claus' sisters get outta town.", "c": ["Kid", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "What's your name, Bart... ner? Uh, little partner? I'm Bart Simpson. Who are you? I'm jolly Old St. Nick.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "I didn't know it was you. Nobody knows. It's a secret. I didn't get my bonus this year. But to keep the family from missing out on Christmas, I'd do anything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "I'll say, Dad. you must really love us to sink so low.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Thirteen bucks? Hey, wait a minute. That's right. $120 gross. Less Social Security, less unemployment insurance, less Santa training, less costume purchase, less beard rental, less Christmas club.", "c": ["Homer", "Paymaster"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Thirteen bucks? you can't get anything for 13 bucks. Allright! Thirteen bigones! Springfield Downs, here I come!", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "I may be a total washout as a father, but I'm not gonna take my kid... to a sleazy dog track on Christmas Eve.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs and it's gonna happen to us.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Well, okay, let's go. Who's Tiny Tim?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Bart, did you hear that? What a name! Santa's Little Helper! It's a sign! It's an omen! It's a coincidence, Dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Wow! Ninety-nine times thirteen equals... Merry Christmas!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Well, I wish you wouldn't... because aside from the fact he has the same frailties as all human belings. he's the only father I have. Therefore, he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Mm-hmm. Go watch your cartoon show, dear.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Doesn't seem possible, but I guess TV has betrayed me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "But he's a loser! He's pathetic! He's-- A Simpson.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "I didn't get my Christmas bonus. I tried not to let it ruin Christmas for eveybody, but no matter what I did--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "So love at first sight is possible. And if he runs away, he'll be easy to catch.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Like a light bulb! Bart! Like Shnozzola! Lisa! Like strippoker! I'm warning you two!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "Like Attila the Hu-- You little--", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"}, {"t": "As in,'This game is stup-id.' - Hey, shut up, boy.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "We got one? - I think it's under the short leg of the couch.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Kwyjibo. K-W-Y-J-I-B-O.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "A big, dumb, balding, North American ape with no chin. And a short temper.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Kwyjibo on the loose.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Student reports Bart for vandalism while Bart is actively spray-painting", "c": ["Martin", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "The preferred spelling of'wiener' is w-i-e-n-e-r... although 'e-i' is an acceptable ethnic variant.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "you might say you caught him red-handed.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Eat my shorts.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "These tests will have no effect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success. If any.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Oof!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "May I go outside and read under a tree?", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "That's exactly the kind of crapola that's lousing him up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Hey, look at this. 'I am a wiener.' He sure is.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's a crummy system, but what are you gonna do?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Bart? This lunkhead? Impossible.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "912! - Uh, no, you have it upside down. It's 216.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Pryor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Wow! It's like you're reading my mind, man.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Although, in some cases, it's a total mystery.", "c": ["Dr. Pryor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Sort of a spare in case Bart's brain blows up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "I don't care what that stupid test says, Bart. You're a dimwit.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "you may outsmart someone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Make your own rules. If you feel sleepy, take a nap. If you get bored, feel free to take out a book and start reading.", "c": ["Ms. Melon"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "O Memsahib, Bart. Rabbi has memo.", "c": ["Ethan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Trabing norm doog. - What's your problem?", "c": ["Sidney", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "I wouldn't get too attached. We're dissecting him next week.", "c": ["Cecile"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Free will debate with complex philosophical discussion", "c": ["Various Gifted Students"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Well... you're damned if you do... and you're damned if you don't.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "I'll trade you the weight of a bowling ball on the eighth moon of Jupiter from my lunch for the weight of a feather on the second moon of Neptune from your lunch.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "A rather mediocre genius. Yes, not very bright at all.", "c": ["Genius Kids"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Os-os. - What? - That's backwards for so-so.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "But I'm not a genius. Why should I suffer?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Geez. No beer. No opera dogs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Toreador, oh, don't spit on the floor, Please use the cuspidor, That's what it's for", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "No way a bull's gonna miss a target that big, man.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "It ain't over till the fat lady sings. Is that one fat enough for you, son?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Har-dee-har-har. Get it?", "c": ["Genius Kid"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Get lost, Poindexter. Yeah, beat it, Professor. Why don't you go build a rocket ship, brainiac?", "c": ["Bart's Old Friends"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "'Course I do.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "it doesn't take a Bart Simpson to figure out that something's wrong.", "c": ["Ms. Melon"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Like Jane Goodall and the chimps.", "c": ["Ms. Melon"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Bart's confession note: 'I am a regular dumb kid. I cheated on my intelligence test.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors... before he invented the lightbulb.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "And I think if something can bring us that close... it can't possibly be bad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Lisa: 'I think Bart's stupid again, Mom.' Marge: 'Oh, well.'", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "I think Bart's stupid again, Mom. Oh, well.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "you think I'm dumb enough to fall for that? I'm insulted.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Bart The Genius"}, {"t": "Mrs. Krabappel, I didn't unlock that door.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Uh, sorry, little dudes. Party hardy was tardy.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Hey, Otto. Hey, Ottoman.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "This morning I woke up with this one. / Not till you're 14, my little friend.", "c": ["Otto", "Otto"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Oh, please, Mrs. Krabappel, not next to Wendell. He pukes on every bus ride. No offense, Wendell.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Oh.", "c": ["Wendell"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "We all know the tragic story of the young man who stuck his arm out the window and had it ripped off by a big truck coming in the other direction. And I was that boy.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Look, there's our school again. / It's a shortcut, Mrs. K. Trust me.", "c": ["Student", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "The song will be 'John Henry Was a Steel Drivin' Man.' / Can I pick the song? / No.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel", "Bart Simpson", "Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "They took Bart Simpson to the graveyard / And they buried him in the sand...", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Hey, Wendell, you made it, buddy.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Smilin' Joe Fission. Hi, there, energy eaters.", "c": ["Smilin' Joe Fission"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "And these are rods of uranium 235. Hi, Rod. / Hi. Hey. Good to see ya. / Hey, you guys look hot. / Of course we're hot. We're radioactive.", "c": ["Smilin' Joe Fission", "Uranium Rods", "Smilin' Joe Fission", "Uranium Rods"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "I'll just put it where nobody'll find it for a million years.", "c": ["Smilin' Joe Fission"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Hey, Bart, our dad says your dad is incompetent. / What does incompetent mean?", "c": ["Student", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "It means he spends more time yakking and scarfing down doughnuts than doing his job. / Oh, okay. I thought you were putting him down.", "c": ["Student", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "you know, I defy anyone to tell the difference between these doughnuts and ones baked today.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Come on, Simpson. If they wanted the kids to see you sitting around on your butt and stuffin' your face, they'd take them on a tour of your house.", "c": ["Coworker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "All right. Who's responsible for this? I might have known it was you, Simpson.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Supervising technician at the toxic waste dump. / I'm no supervising technician. I'm a technical supervisor.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "You've caused plenty of industrial accidents, and you've always bounced back.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Is Mr. Freely there? / Who? / Freely. First initials 'I.P.' / Hold on. I'll check. Uh, is I.P. Freely here?", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Moe", "Bart Simpson", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "You'll get that punk someday, Moe. / Ah, I don't know. He's tough to catch. He keeps changing his name.", "c": ["Customer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "You think you can still do that kind of work? / Sure. You never forget. It's just like riding a bicycle.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "All he does is lie there like an unemployed whale.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "There's only one thing we can do: take advantage of the old guy.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Duff, the beer that makes the days fly by.", "c": ["TV Commercial"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Let me count and make sure. Not even close.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Oh, looks like young Simpson is going to kill himself. Well, maybe not. Maybe he's just taking his boulder for a walk.", "c": ["Observer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Cool, man.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "boys and girls, retired people with nothing better to do.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "If they think I'm gonna stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken.", "c": ["Unknown Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Now people won't be caught off guard by that little 'mm-mmm' in the road.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Thank you. Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "That's Homer Simpson, sir. He used to work here in the plant, but we fired him for gross incompetence.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Our lives are at the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them, incompetent boobs.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Gee, this guy's desk sure is big. I can't let Marge support the family. This guy's got the cleanest shirt I've ever seen.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Mmm, what the hey. I'll take the job.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "you mean, you're willing to give up a good job and a raise just for your principles? / Mmm. When you put it that way, it does sound a little farfetched, but that's the lug you're lookin' at!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Of course, I'd have a lot less of those free minutes if you gave me the job.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "Mmm. You're not as stupid as you look or sound or our best testing indicates.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "you have to learn that there's a little Homer Simpson in all of us.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Homers Odyssey"}, {"t": "We were fighting over which one of us loves you more.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "You love him more. / No, you do. / No, I don't. / Yes, you do!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "I'm trying to get the unfortunate noises out of my system while I can.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "That's the only time he's ever spoken to me without using the word 'bonehead.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Tough choice. / I'm picking respect.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Not me. I had to miss little league for this. / Quiet, Tom.", "c": ["Tom", "Unknown parent"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.06, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Fire that man, Smithers. I don't want him or his unpleasant family to ruin my picnic. / He'll be gone by the tug-of-war, sir.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "And this must be, uh, Brat. / Bart. / Don't correct the man, Brat.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Oh, for the love of Peter. That's all anybody brought. Some damn fool went around telling everyone I love that slimy goop.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Hear that, Dad? You can lie around in your underwear and scratch yourself.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "No, just congratulating the son on a fine joke about his old man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "D-oh! Be normal. Be normal!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Hey, isn't that your boy there torturing the swans? - Bart!", "c": ["Unknown guest", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Gee, do you think we should leave the kids unsupervised? / You're right. There. [points at kids]", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "You remember the rules? / Shut my mouth, and let your boss win.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "I don't know who to love more: my son, Joshua, who's captain of the football team, or my daughter, Amber, who got the lead in the school play. Usually, I use their grades as a tiebreaker, but they both got straight A's this term. What's a mother to do?", "c": ["Other mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Well, I sense greatness in my family. / Your family? / Well, it's a greatness that others can't see, but it's there.", "c": ["Marge", "Other mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think there's a little 'al-key-hol' in this punch.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Man, this is pathetic. I'm goin' for it!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Close one this year.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Thank you all for coming. But now it's time to say good-bye. Please get off my property until next year. I suggest you don't dawdle. The hounds will be released in ten minutes.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Marge, knock it off. - Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Get that man's name. I predict big things for him down at the power plant.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Kiss you? But, Dad, I'm your kid. / Bart, please? Five bucks for a kiss.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "I have never seen such an obvious attempt to curry my favor. / Fabulous observation, sir. Just fabulous.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "That cornball routine? 'I love you, Daddy.' Give me a break. / I pity you. / Why?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Okay. Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, thank you for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean, our kids are uncontrollable hellions. Did you see them at the picnic? Of course you did. You're everywhere. You're 'omnivorous.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "O Lord, why did you smite me with this family?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Maybe we should move to a larger community.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Look at that, kids. No fighting. No yelling. No belching. / The dad has his shirt on.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "These people are obviously freaks. / Oh, you think so?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "What are they doing? - They're having a conversation. They actually enjoy talking to each other.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Papa, I believe I heard some rustling in the bushes. / Hmm. I did too. Better get the gun.", "c": ["Normal family son", "Normal family father"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Whoa, look at this place. What a dump! / It's worse than you think. I just trampled this poor sap's flower bed. / Homer, this is our house.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "What's gotten into Bobo? / I got some wieners in my pocket.", "c": ["Police officer", "Other officer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, 'Homer, you're a big disappointment.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "And God bless her soul, she was really on to something.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Don't blame yourself, Homer. You got dealt a bad hand. You got crummy little kids that nobody can control.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "You can't talk that way about my kids! Or at least two of them. / Why, you got two I haven't met?", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Hi, friends. I'm Dr. Marvin Monroe. Does this scene look familiar? If so, I can help.", "c": ["Dr. Marvin Monroe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "The fat guy on TV? / You're sending us to a doctor who advertises on pro wrestling? / Boxing, Lisa, boxing. There's a world of difference.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Why scrimp now on the off chance that they'll actually get in some place?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "I guess I'd have needed a partial scholarship.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "I guess I'd have needed a partial scholarship.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Homer, couldn't we pawn my engagement ring instead? / Now, I appreciate that, honey, but we need $150 here!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Now, I appreciate that, honey, but we need $150 here!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Homer, you're driving a stake through the hearts of those who love you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "There go my young-girl dreams of Vassar.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "We would if we had one. / Lisa!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Now, Doctor, that's not true. / Ogre is such a strong word.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "These mallet things are padded with foam rubber. What's the point? / They'd work much better without the padding, Doc.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Just testing. - Why, you-- No, Homer, not yet.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Dr. Monroe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "How could you shock your little sister? - My finger slipped. - So did mine.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, Doc, your TV commercial said, 'family bliss or double our money back.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Just go, and never tell anyone you were here!", "c": ["Dr. Marvin Monroe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "It's not the money, as much as the feeling that we earned it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Twenty-one inch screen, realistic flesh tones... and a little cart so we can wheel it into the dining room on holidays.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Theres No Disgrace Like Home"}, {"t": "Do I smell cupcakes? - Ooh! Do I ever! -Uh-uh, Homer.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Keep your greasy mitts outta there", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "You're saying 'buttkisser' like it's a bad thing", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Well, you see, boy, it never hurts to grease the wheels a little", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "It's the three roads to success, Bart: work, brains and hmm-- Oh, brother.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Doh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "My sister here made a whole pile up cupcakes to butter up her teacher, and she won't give anybody else even one measly little crumb", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Here, Otto. I made an extra one for you", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "You sniveling toad! You little egg sucker!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Back-scratcher. Foot-licker. Honor student!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "In the heat of the moment, I said some things I didn't mean", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "What do you like best about me? / Well, I'd have to say... your generous nature, your spirit of giving", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Open your mouth and close your eyes, and you will get a big surprise", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.34, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Thanks, Lis. You're the best", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Nelson, you're bleeding. / Nah, happens all the time. Somebody else's blood splatters on me", "c": ["Kid", "Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Hey, wait a minute. You're right. You made me bleed my own blood!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. A cold wind", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "No, no, no. He'll get you after school, son. Now hurry up. It's time for class", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Lunchtime! Ha, ha, ha! - Lunchtime, Bart. It's lunchtime.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "I ain't gonna get out of the fourth grade alive", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "It would violate the code of the schoolyard", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Here comes my brother, Bart the bully-killer!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "I'm not sayin' I'm not a hero. I'm just saying that I fear for my safety", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Good-bye, little dude. He looks so lifelike, man", "c": ["Otto", "Kid"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Who wants a day off from work when I'm never gonna see my beloved son again?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "I know you can't eat it now, so I'll just place it lovingly on your forehead", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Hey, look. They got food at this thing", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Oh, man, that guy's tough to love", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Let's just say I paid the inevitable price for helping out my sister", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "I'm gonna miss you, big guy", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "I'm gonna miss you, big guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "The code of the schoolyard, Marge. The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "This bully friend of yours, is he a little on the chunky side? / Yeah, he's pretty chunkified, all right.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Well, thank you very much, Mrs. Maharishi Gandhi", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "That little doozy's been a Simpson trademark for generations", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Remember the family jewels, son.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Remember the fight he put up when we put him in the home?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Number one: bra. Number two: horny. Number three: family jewels", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "My arm? Well, let me put it this way. Next time your teacher tells you to keep your arm inside the bus window, you do it!", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "The key to Springfield has always been Elm Street. The Greeks knew it. The Carthaginians knew it. Now you know it", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "I can't promise you victory. I can't promise you good times. But the one thing I do know-- Whoa, whoa! All right! Okay! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "You can push them out of a plane, you can march them off a cliff, you can send 'em off to die on some godforsaken rock, but for some reason, you can't slap 'em", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Well, I'd rather they say 'Death From Above,' but I guess we're stuck", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "It's a classic pincers movement. It can't fail against a ten-year-old", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or see the look of terror in a young man's eyes. Thank heaven for children", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Ha! Oh, yeah? You and what army? / This one.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War I, and the Star Wars trilogy", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Bart The General"}, {"t": "Sorry, Dad. Women and children first.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, Homer, you'd lose your head if it weren't securely fastened to your neck.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Warm. No, cold. Colder. Ice cold.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Doh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Well, Mom, one of us has scarfed down more than enough cupcakes over the past three decades to--", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "A simple cupcake will bring me no pleasure.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "La da da da da dee", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "But Mr. Largo, that's what my country's all about.", "c": ["Lisa", "Mr. Largo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm wailing out for the homeless family living out of its car. The Iowa farmer whose land has been taken away by unfeeling bureaucrats. The West Virginia coal miner, coughing up--", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "That's all fine and good, but none of those unpleasant people are going to be at the recital next week.", "c": ["Mr. Largo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "And we sit around like cattle, chewing our cuds, dreading the inevitable--", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Food fight!", "c": ["Various students"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "I choose not to participate.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm too sad.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Battling Bart Simpson! And in the lavender trunks, with a record of zero wins and 48 defeats-- Oh, correction. Humiliating defeats, all of them by knockout--", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Must you do this every time?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Homer 'The Human Punching Bag' Simpson!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. There's no way they can prove anything.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "It isn't? There must be some mistake.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, I would, princess. I have feelings too, you know, like, 'My stomach hurts.' Or 'I'm going crazy!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Come on, Lisa. Ride the Homer horsey! Giddyap. Whee!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Gee, Homer. Looks like you got yourself a real problem on your hands. Yeah, right. Uh, Bart, vacuum this floor.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Thinks he's some big stupid Homer. Oh, man. I'll show him. He thinks he's so big.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Maggie. Come to the one you love best. / No, Maggie. Come here, girl. Come to me.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, no! Come on! Don't let the-- Aaah! Oh, no, not again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Gee, Dad, you're really bad at this. I am not. It's just that I... couldn't concentrate with that infernal racket.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "I was just playing the blues, Dad.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Unless my fingers clacking on the keys is too loud for you.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, it's a little tune that I call... the 'I Never Had an Italian Suit Blues.'", "c": ["Bleeding Gums Murphy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Before you go out that door, let's put our happy face on, because people know how good a mommy you have by the size of your smile.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "I am going easy on you, but you're so old and slow and weak and pathetic.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my dad at most things. And Bart experienced that at the age of four.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, so that's it. This is some kind of underwear thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "My friends call me Bleeding Gums. / Eww. How'd you get a name like that?", "c": ["Bleeding Gums Murphy", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Well, let me put it this way. You ever been to the dentist? / Yeah. / Not me.", "c": ["Bleeding Gums Murphy", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "You know, you play pretty well for someone with no real problems.", "c": ["Bleeding Gums Murphy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "The blues isn't about feelin' better. It's about makin' other people feel worse and makin' a few bucks while you're at it.", "c": ["Bleeding Gums Murphy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Lisa! Get away from that jazzman! / But Mom! Can't I stay a little longer? / Come on. We were worried about you. Nothing personal. I just fear the unfamiliar.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Don't make me say it. I know the answer. You know the answer. He knows the answer. Let's just drop it. Okay?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Yeah. Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking. / Is Jacques there? / Who? / Jacques. Last name Strap.", "c": ["Moe", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Aw, wait a minute. Jacques Strap? It's you, isn't it, you cowardly little runt! When I get a hold of you, I am gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Howie! I thought I told you to stop wasting your money in this stupid place! / Sorry, Mom. / And you! A man of your age. You should be ashamed of yourself.", "c": ["Howie's Mom", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Take all your bad feelings and push them down. All the way down, past your knees, until you're almost walking on them.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "I feel more popular already.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "You know, I used to think you were some brainiac, but I guess you're okay.", "c": ["Classmate"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Lisa, I apologize to you. I was wrong. I take it all back. Always be yourself. You wanna be sad, honey, be sad.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Marge, how could you? I was so close. / I'm sorry, but this is more important than that silly, loud game.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "My game, my game! I could have beat the boy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "You're right, Mom. I'd just like to use this occasion to announce my retirement, undefeated, from the world of video boxing.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "Moaning Lisa"}, {"t": "Howdy, Bart. Hot enough for ya? / Shut up, Flanders.", "c": ["Flanders", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Just be happy with what you've got, son. Don't try to keep up with the Flanders'.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Yes, indeedly-doodly.", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "I get your mail once in a while, and you make only $27 a week more than I do.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Oh, it's simple, Simpson. Credit. / Ooh, credit!", "c": ["Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Hmm! Mmm! Oh! Ah! Thank you, God.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "The Van Star One, launched last February, just for this thing, that's all.", "c": ["RV Salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "It has four of them-- one for each part of the chicken.", "c": ["RV Salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Ay, caramba. / This is better than our house.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "You're a man of your convict-- You just wanted to ask that and blurted it out, didn't ya?", "c": ["RV Salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "I want you to know I like your face. You do? I really do. I'm not saying that. I mean it. You got color in there.", "c": ["RV Salesman", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "You're not Roman, are you? / No! / Look like a god, sort of. Why don't we step into the credit office, Zeus?", "c": ["RV Salesman", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "This is a formality. If you're saying to me, 'Bob, is this guy good for it?' I say,'Yes.' I don't check this machine, but I don't own the place, even though my name's up there. Long story, but that doesn't matter.", "c": ["RV Salesman Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Is that a good siren? Am I approved? / You ever known a siren to be good? / No, Mr. Simpson, it's not. It's a bad siren.", "c": ["Homer", "RV Salesman Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "That's the computer in case I went blind, telling me, 'Sell the vehicle to this fella, and you're out of business.'", "c": ["RV Salesman Bob"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "And 'weebit' is me bein' polite.", "c": ["RV Salesman Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "You couldn't afford this thing if you lived to be a million.", "c": ["RV Salesman Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "You gotta be kidding me. / What'd you say? / Uh, is it used?", "c": ["Homer", "RV Salesman Bob"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, you're never gonna own a better RV. I don't mean that in a good way. I mean literally. This is it for you, you know? It's this or a wagon.", "c": ["RV Salesman Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "'Cause I'm gonna give you a price for you. Someone else, I'm doublin' this. I swear it, Bob.", "c": ["RV Salesman Bob", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, if you have to talk it over with those humans out there, there's something wrong with all of us.", "c": ["RV Salesman Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "See that man over there? Yeah. He's buying this. Did you know that? Called me, said, 'Save the little one. I'm coming.' Here he is.", "c": ["RV Salesman Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Best decision you ever made. You are gonna-- You are gonna-- This is gonna change your life.", "c": ["RV Salesman Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Jealous. Everybody ready?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "I hate this. I don't wanna go. / That's the spirit. Ready or not, nature, here we come!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "What are you doing back there? / We're playing,'What's that odor?' Dad's feet? / Bart! / You win, Bart. / Lisa!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Homer, I'm telling you. This is not the interstate. / Maps.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Don't worry. This is an all-terrain vehicle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "My feet are getting wet! / Oh, come on. We're getting back to nature.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Okay, nobody move, and nobody panic. When I give the word, everyone, ever so slowly, open your door and slide out. On the count of three. One--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "The Simpsons have entered the forest.", "c": ["Narrator/Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Why, I bet there are people who would trade everything they have in the world for this. / You mean, like we just did?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Now don't worry. Our situation isn't as bad as it seems. And you're forgetting. I'm an experienced woodsman.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "What am I gonna do? I've murdered us all! I've murdered us all! I've murdered us all!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Shut up! / Shut up! Shut up! / D-oh! / D-oh! D-oh!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "There. Finished. / You are? / Well, it's a quick job, but it's shelter. / It is?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "That's nice, Lisa, but we're not in astronomy class. We're in the woods.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "If you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone. / It's a deal. / And remember not to act afraid. Animals can smell fear, and they don't like it. / Besides, there's nothing to be afraid of. / Right. / A rattler! / I'm not afraid! / Run, you fool!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Besides, there's nothing to be afraid of. / Right. / A rattler! / I'm not afraid! / Run, you fool!", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "When you're an experienced woodsman like me, you get a feel for these things. It becomes natural, like a third sense.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "His lucky red hat. Oh, dear God! No! Bart! Bart!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Oh, Bart! Oh, Bart, my beautiful son! Why couldn't You have taken me? of all the fates on heaven and earth, why did this one befall me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Don't have a cow, Dad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "What the-- D-oh! You're alive! And buck naked. / I'm not the only one, Home boy. / What? Oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Jungle man.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "What are we gonna do, hang ourselves? / No! This is a trap. It's gonna catch us our dinner. Come on, boy.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "A-ha! Got him!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "This time I'll just go into the bushes over there, make a lot of noise and flush out a rabbit. And when he comes out, you step on him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Great camping trip, honey. Traveled 800 miles, haven't even seen a squirrel yet.", "c": ["Camping Man"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Let me show you how many bears there are around here. Uh, hello, bears! Um, come on. Have a donut. Oh, what the heck, have me! Come and get it! All right, all right. You made your point.", "c": ["Camping Man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Bears.", "c": ["Camping Man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Imagine what your father, an experienced woodsman, has done.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "G-G-Good n-n-night, D-D-Dad. / G-G-Good n-n-night, son.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Are we there yet? / No! / Are we ever gonna be there? / How would I know? Quit asking pointless--", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Honey. Honey! / We're saved! / Uh, Homer. Bees?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "How is it? / Tangy.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "The naturalist who took these absolutely extraordinary pictures was most impressed with the creature's uncivilized look, its foul language and, most of all, its indescribable stench.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Why, that's my husband!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "His name isn't Bigfoot. His name is Homer.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "His name isn't Bigfoot. His name is Homer.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Well, I suppose pork chops are his favorite.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Get those bears out of here. I'm trying to do an interview. No bears! We're taping! All bears off the set.", "c": ["TV Director"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "How would you describe your marital relations? Brutish? / Is this going to be on TV? / Coast to coast.", "c": ["Reporter", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "What do we do, Dad? / Praise the grizzlies, son. Nice grizzlies. Nice grizzlies. / That's a good grizzly.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Later, grizzly dudes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "What the hell are you talking about, sir?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Avenge me, son. Avenge my death.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Who was this Homer? Was it a man or was it, in fact, the legendary missing link known as Bigfoot?", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Could I have some applesauce?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "The evidence we have is... inconclusive. This thing may or may not be human.", "c": ["Scientist"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "The eyes have the glimmer of human intelligence. / Really. Glimmer in the eyes. What about the sloping ape-like forehead?", "c": ["Scientist 1", "Scientist 2"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Really. Glimmer in the eyes. What about the sloping ape-like forehead?", "c": ["Scientist 1"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Oh, the guys at work are gonna have a field day with this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Oh, the guys at work are gonna have a field day with this.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "This specimen is either a below-average human being... or... a brilliant beast. / Stupid egghead.", "c": ["Scientist", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Stupid egghead.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Oh, Homer. My brilliant beast.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "The Call Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "I pulled a few boners", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.92, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "I can't let my only boy get ripped limb from limb by a bloodthirsty mob", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "We'll die together, like a father and son should", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "About 23 minutes and 5 seconds", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "23:05? Well, all right. Go ahead", "c": ["Mob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Get your butts down here right now!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Bart, assume the position", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "This isn't gambling, Marge. It's a lead-pipe cinch", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Laza who?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Whoa! Are you talking to me?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Will there be cavemen in heaven?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "What if you're a really good person, but you're in a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene, and it has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Gambling, the Eighth Deadly Sin", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "You can't get enough... of that wonderful Duff", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "It's... good to see you all in church", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "What about a robot with a human brain?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Is a little blind faith too much to ask?", "c": ["Sunday School Teacher"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "He didn't say that under certain circumstances it was all right, did he?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Those cute little monkeys? That's terrible", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "What about those really smart ones who live among us, who roller-skate and smoke cigars?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Perish the thought", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Share the wealth. That's what I always say", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Might land on my face and end up looking like you", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "You're witty", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Well, okay. I just wanted to make sure we weren't deluding ourselves", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "I've got eyes in the back of my head", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Share the wealth. That's what I always say", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Five-finger discount, man", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Like that one over there looks just like a cherry bomb", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "It looks like a guy with a switchblade stuck in his back", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "That one looks like a school bus going over a cliff in flames, with kids inside screaming", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "I mean, without the head, of course", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Can you think of a better way for Daddy to spend his hard-won 50 bucks?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "The Stealth Bowler: The pins don't know what hit them", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Being popular is the most important thing in the world", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Top of the world, Ma", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "The Hammer of Thor: It will send your pins to Val-halla", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "If anyone has any information, please dial 'O' and ask for the police. That number again, 'O'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Is the Leaning Tower of Pizza just a statue?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "A beer, please, and make sure there's a head on it", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Yeah, that was just cloud talk, man", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "My head", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "You're not really talking to me. You're just my overactive imagination", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Turn them in, and Krusty will send you a free slide whistle just like Sideshow Bob's", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Turn them in, and Krusty will send you a free slide whistle just like Sideshow Bob's", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "That's 'B-A-R-E' hands", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Although modern historians recently uncovered evidence that the bear, in fact, probably killed him", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "I love you, Smithers", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "I love you, Smithers. The feeling is more than mutual, sir", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "The feeling is more than mutual, sir", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Most lynch mobs aren't this nice", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "The Telltale Head"}, {"t": "Who wouldn't like a bottle of real French perfume all the way from gay Paree? Four bucks, plus tax.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Oh, big deal. Dry macaroni, spray paint and glue. Whoopie.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Litha, my 'ongue' is 'uck' in the 'eaters.' My 'ongue'!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "My birthday? It's my birthday? - No!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "But it's a surprise. You know, it's such a beautiful morning, I think I'll take a little stroll around the block.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "I think he forgot, Mom. - Mm-hmm.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Good morning, consumers. The Springfield Mall is now open for your spending needs.", "c": ["Mall PA"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Too salty. Um... nah. Hmm? Nah, too corny. Too exciting.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "And when he surprised you with the Connie Chung calendar?", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "And the kids. - Fair enough. - And my sisters. - Doh!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Havin' my baby / What a lovely way to say how much you love me / Nearer my God to thee", "c": ["Restaurant singers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "34 years old. Time enough to start over with a new man. Someone who eats with his mouth shut.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Do you know the Heimlich Maneuver? - No. - Good.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "What the hell are you talking about? There's gallons of it! But this occasion is already so special. If we made it any more special, we might end up making it less special.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "It's hard for me to judge since I've never bowled in my life!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "I couldn't very well chop your hand off and bring it to the store.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "You can't take it back. You had your name engraved on it! - So you'd know it was from me!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "What? But you don't know how to bowl. Oops.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "I'm here out of spite. - Can't bowl without a lane.", "c": ["Marge", "Bowling alley worker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "13 double 'A'? This is the closest I've got. A nine and a fifteen.", "c": ["Bowling alley worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "A little warm and moist. Ugh!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no. Homer's my... ball's name. - I'm Marge.", "c": ["Marge", "Jacques"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Many people have senseless attachments to heavy, clumsy things, such as this Homer of yours.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Pick up Homer. Pick him up. - Now throw. Throw, damn you.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "But first of all, you yell, 'The eight-pin is a cop.' - Let it out, Marge. Laugh loud. Laugh out loud. You'll lose weight.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Hot pizza-- the food of kings.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Does the time always drag like this?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Caress it. Experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it, Marge? You could eat off of it. You hungry? Four onion rings!", "c": ["Jacques", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "All right! We're clean!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Sport, dear. It's a sport, you silly thing.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "It's really for me. Seventeen-fifty. Enjoy it, my darling.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "My mind says,'Stop,' but my heart... and my hips cry,' Proceed.'", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Not at Barney's Bowlarama. Away from the thunderous folly of clattering pins.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupee at the end. You don't get completely what you would at breakfast, but you get a good meal.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "There are ten pins in my heart. You've knocked over eight. Won't you please pick up that spare?", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Oh, Bart, don't you see? This is what psychologists call overcompensation. Mom is wracked with guilt because her marriage is failing.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "You're in stage two, denial. - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. - I'm not. I'm not. Am not! - I stand corrected.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "I'm a married women. Don't call me that. - No, no, no, no, no. Mimosa is the name of the drink.", "c": ["Marge", "Jacques"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Let's hope something runs over her.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "You're so naive. They are for lovemaking. - Really? - Yes.", "c": ["Jacques", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Some divine pinspotter must have placed us side by side. Like two fragile bowling pins-- Standing bravely-- Until inevitably-- We must topple.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Dad, you didn't even say 'ouch.' - Oh, sorry. Ouch.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "You told me when something's bothering you and you're too damn stupid to know what to do, just keep your fool mouth shut. At least that way, you won't make things worse. - Hmm. Good advice.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "I don't know how you do it. Youjust got a gift, I guess. I've always thought so. I just never mentioned it, but it's time you knew how I feel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "How can I eat it? She made it. It's all I have left.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Tell him I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "Life On The Fast Lane"}, {"t": "Homer brags that a girl in Valve Maintenance 'has the hots for yours truly' while talking to his wife", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Just keeping you on your toes, babe.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Two hundred and thirty nine pounds! Oh, I'm a blimp. Why are all the good things so tasty?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "You're not a blimp, Homer. You're my big cuddly teddy bear.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Aw, baloney. Yeah, right.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "I'm a whale. Why was I cursed with this weakness for snack treats?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Oh. Don't strain yourself, dear.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "No, no, Marge. It's gonna be very classy. A tea-and-crumpets kind of thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, it's the 'fe-mailman.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Female carrier, Bart.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Every day for the last six months-- Where's my spy camera? Where's my spy camera?", "c": ["Bart", "Mail Carrier"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Here's your stupid spy camera!", "c": ["Mail Carrier"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Sorry, Dad. The answer to that is top secret.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. Like I'm really gonna take a picture of my butt.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Only four of us? Who escaped?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Where am I, the planet Cornball?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Ahoy! I spy the children's menu.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Ahoy, this place bites.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "This evening I shall go for the squid platter, with extra tentacles, please.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Hey, try to keep it down, guys. Okay? Hey, shut up.", "c": ["Waiter", "Homer's Party"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "How do I tell you this, my boy? We're in hell.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Ai, caramba. Wow, man.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "The subtle graytones recall the work of Helmut Newton.", "c": ["Photography Club Kid"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "He brings to mind the later work of Diane Arbus.", "c": ["Photography Club Kid"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Cross your heart and hope to die? Stick a needle in your eye? Jam a dagger in your thigh? Eat a horse manure pie?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Wait till I show the guys at work this little doozy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Sorry, buddy. You got me confused with Fred Flintstone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "D'oh! That purple fruit thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Well, a 'do dee do dee do' to you too, pint size.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Meaningless, Marge. Don't even attempt to find meaning in it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Meaningless, Marge. Don't even attempt to find meaning in it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "My suggestion is for you to sleep in the filth you created.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "What, this one? D'oh!", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "The middle one is my house. Someone must have left the porch light on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "The middle one is my house. Someone must have left the porch light on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "A plant employee carrying on like an oversexed orangutan in heat.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "The fair sex remains a mystery to me.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "You seem to have a way with women, a certain-- how shall I put it-- animal magnetisme.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "You seem to have a way with women, a certain-- how shall I put it-- animal magnetisme.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Well, I wine them, I... dine them, bring them flowers, write them love poetry, sir.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Look, I'm not drinking out of the carton.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Yes, I do. Because I'm hungry, my clothes are smelly, and I'm tired.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Princess Kashmir? You must mean April Flower. She's working over at the Girlesque.", "c": ["Venue Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Bart! I said look at the floor.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Nice to meet you, ma'am.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "My real name is Shawna Tifton. My pet peeve is rude people. And my turn-ons include silk sheets and a warm fireplace.", "c": ["Princess Kashmir/Shawna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Get off of my stage, fat boy.", "c": ["Dancer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Get off of my stage, fat boy.", "c": ["Performer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson, party guy.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "He's a love machine, sir.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Well, not our nephews.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "All right, folks. Show's over. No more to see, folks. Come on. Only sick people want to see my folks kiss.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Night Out"}, {"t": "Homer gets stuck under a toy that keeps repeating 'I like to play with you' while his back is injured", "c": ["Homer", "Maggie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Clumsy Homer.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Everything's always my fault. If he'd just watch out where he was going.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Mother, please don't call me Spanky on school grounds.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Skinner's Mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Bye, Spanky.", "c": ["Skinner's Mother"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "So long, sucker.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Now hold it right there, you little-- Mother?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Make sure it's squished flat and crunchy on the outside... And maybe some of those little wieners that come in a can?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Hello, Principal Skinner. I'd get up, but the boy crippled me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "I think it behooves us all to consider... deportation.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Deportation? You mean kick Bart out of the county?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Hear him out, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Sounds great. Although, a kid can't learn much in just three months.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Yeah, but what about Bart?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "You mean all white with pink eyes?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "The life of a frog. That's the life for me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "He makes me crazy 12 months a year. At least you get the summer off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Yes, baby! Way to go!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Don't mess up France the way you messed up your room.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Eww. What a dump.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "You gotta be kiddin'. The lek.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Political what?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Escape is impossible.", "c": ["Cesar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Affectionate little Albanian, isn't he?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "In this way, and only in this way, can we hope to better understand our backward neighbours throughout the world.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Although I have only been in your county a few days, I have already found Americans to be most... trusting.", "c": ["Adil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Although, officially, I am required to hate you, I want you to know I do not feel it in my heart.", "c": ["Adil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "How can you defend a country where 5% of the people control 95% of the wealth?", "c": ["Adil"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Maybe Adil has a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "No, no, Mrs. Simpson. You have been oppressed enough for today.", "c": ["Adil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "We've always blamed ourselves, but I guess it's pretty clear which cylinder wasn't firing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Your paper-thin commitment to your children sends shivers down my spine.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "And if she doesn't, we can always exchange her.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Can I have something to go with my turnip?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Quiet! When you work like a man, we will feed you like one.", "c": ["Cesar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Aw! You called me Dad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "None of my biological kids ever wanted to see me at work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "See these? American doughnuts. Glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled. Now how's that for freedom of choice?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Hey, Lenny. Does this place have one of those plutonium isolation deals?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Yeah, over in sector 12... Third floor, by the candy machines.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Ungrateful swine! We give you food, we give you shelter, and this is how you repay us! You little shutterbug.", "c": ["Cesar"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Bunch of creeps! I hate France!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Do not worry. This is France. It is customary for children to take a little wine now and then.", "c": ["Cesar"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "But you gotta help me. These two guys I'm staying with, they work me day and night. They don't feed me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Here I've listened to nothing but French for the past... Sacr\u00e9 bleu! Where is me mama?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "I bet he could build a nuclear power plant if he wanted to.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "All right. Well, the name of his county starts with the letter 'A.'", "c": ["FBI Agent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Adil? The Sparrow!", "c": ["Homer", "FBI Agent"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "The Sparrow!", "c": ["FBI Agent"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Au revoir, suckers.", "c": ["Adil"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think I am getting too old for this game.", "c": ["Adil"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Good-bye, Adil. I'll send you those civil defense plans you wanted.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "So, basically, I met one nice French person.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Sorry, Marge. Some wise guy stuck a cork in the bottle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "You hear that, Marge? My boy speaks French.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "The Crepes Of Wrath"}, {"t": "Or do you want me to shoot Sideshow Bob out of a cannon?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "The cannon. The cannon. The cannon. The cannon. The cannon.", "c": ["Children"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "but maybe that's because we haven't used enough... gunpowder!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Don't blame me. I didn't do it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Comedy, thy name is Krusty.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Ooh, premium-- Wait a minute. Why?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Doh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Oh, eight carousels! We're in for a real treat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Perhaps a little something for the trip back to the cash register.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Or as I call 'em, the Gruesome Twosome.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Yes, yes. I know the procedure for armed robbey. I do work in a conveniencestore, you know.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Ay, carumba!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "My kid's hero, Cruddy, Crummy-- Krusty the Clown!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Send in the clowns.", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Well, if the crime is making me laugh, they're all guilty!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Oh, goody gumdrops.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Why did the clown cross the road? To rob a Kwik-E-Mart.", "c": ["Scott Christian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "The news stoy behind that enigmatic half-joke right after this commercial message.", "c": ["Scott Christian"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "I've based my whole life on Krusty's teachings.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Earth to Marge. Earth to Marge. I was there. The clown is G-I-L-L-T-Y.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "I was there. The clown is G-I-L-L-T-Y.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "hang on each new development like so many Romanian trapeze artists.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "I'm dying. I'm dying.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Give a hoot. Read a book.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "And his feet, they're so small.", "c": ["Child"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "I plead guilty, Your Honor. Oh. I mean, not guilty. Opening nightjitters, Your Honor.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Doh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Aaah!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "No, I'm not! I'm hopping on the bandwagon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "No, I can't! I can't read or write! I admit it! I'm totally illiterate. Now are you happy?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Is it a crime to bet on sporting events? Yes, it is! Oh.", "c": ["Krusty", "Judge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "I knew it! This happens to me evey time.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "What the hell are you doing, Lis?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "You're smarter than me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Don't you remember the get-well card we sent to Krusty? It was after his heartattack when he had a pacemaker put in.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Hey, hey. This is not a lending library! If you're not going to buy that thing put it down, or I'll blow your heads off!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Evey time we say good-bye I die a little", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill. Big shoes to fill--", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "See that? Krusty wore big floppy shoes, but he's got little feet like all good-hearted people! Sideshow Bob really fills his shoes with big ugly feet.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for these meddling kids.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Treat kids as equals! They're people too! They're smarter than you think. they were smart enough to catch me!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "It better not, you dimwit!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "Krusty Gets Busted"}, {"t": "Bad news, drivers. There's an overturned melon truck on the interstate. Oh, it's a mess. There's lots of rubber neck in gandmelon wrestling going on", "c": ["Bill Pie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Hey, doughnuts! - Bart, there's one left, and it's mine.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Cool your jets, man. We're comin'.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Oh! - Aw, Homer! - Aw, Dad! - Uh-oh, schoolbus!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Our number is 555-PAIN", "c": ["Radio announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Save your whining for when you're on the air, okay?", "c": ["Phone screener"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Next we have Marge. She's 34 and trapped in a loveless sham of a marriage.", "c": ["Dr. Monroe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Hey, turn it up. I love hearing those wackos.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "and he ate with utensils", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Isn't that your wife, Homer? / Don't be ridiculous. My wife worships the ground I walk on.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "The pig has made you into his mother. You are not the hot love object you deserve to be.", "c": ["Dr. Monroe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "I'm as sure of it as I'm sure my voice is annoying.", "c": ["Dr. Monroe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Leave Homer? / Don't use his real name! / Leave Pedro?", "c": ["Marge", "Dr. Monroe", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Al Coholic prank call sequence", "c": ["Bart", "Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Hello. Is Al there? / Al? / Yeah, Al. Last name, Coholic.", "c": ["Bart", "Moe", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass. If I ever find out who you are, I'll kill ya!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "I hope you do find that punk someday, Moe. Fill 'er up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Hey, Barney, am I a pig? / You're no more of a pig than I am. / Oh, no! / See? You're a pig.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney", "Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Barney's a pig. Larry's a pig. We're all pigs. Except for one difference. Once in a while, we can crawl out of the slop, hose ourselves off and act like human beings.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Gee, a romantic evening. Nah, she's too smart to fall for that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "I'd like some flowers. / What kind of flowers? / You know, pretty ones, not dead.", "c": ["Homer", "Florist", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "We have some beautiful long-stem roses. They're $55 a dozen. / One, please.", "c": ["Florist", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Your husband sees you as nothing, as nothing. The pig has made you into his mother, his mother.", "c": ["Dr. Monroe's voice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Marge, I, uh-- love you. No, that's not good. Marge, honey, I love you. Oh. Um-- Marge, I loveya, baby.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Marge, sweetie, 'hooney,' honey-- Ah, this'll never work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Is Oliver there? / Who? / Oliver Klozoff.", "c": ["Bart", "Moe", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "It matters not, mon frere.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Goodness. Must be a crossed wire.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "The Simpsons. Lady, you've gotta be kidding!", "c": ["Babysitting service"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Hello. This is Mr. S-Sampson. / Did your wife just call a second ago? / No, I said Sampson, not Simpson.", "c": ["Homer", "Babysitting service", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Those Simpsons, what a bunch of savages! Especially that big-ape father. / Doh!", "c": ["Babysitting service", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Actually, the Simpsons are neighbors of ours, and we've found them to be a quite misunderstood and underrated family.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Dad dances? / Like an angel.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Son, there's not a woman alive who can resist a man who knows how to mambo. / You don't have a clue, do you, Dad?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Smooth as a baby's behind!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Oh, boy! The Happy Little Elves Meet the Curious Bear Cub. / Oh, the Elves! The Elves!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Bye, kids! Watch out for the boy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "And I don't know what that is, because everybody has always done what I say.", "c": ["Miss Botz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Well, when you choose one that's floating upside down, it somewhat defeats the purpose of selecting a live lobster.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "We've seen the Crappy Little Elves about 14 billion times.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "You know what happens. They find Captain Kook's treasure. All the elves dance around like idiots. I puke. The end.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Bart, you're just like Chilly, the elf who cannot love.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Relax. This is cinema verite. When the brutal, slow-motion killing starts, I'll tell you to shut your eyes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "'Cause I'm so care free? / No, because you're wearing a bib.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Garcon! Another bottle of your second-least-expensive champagne.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Except for one thing-- no chaperone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Remember, she may be using a clever alias... / Botz!", "c": ["TV announcer", "Bart/Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Don't forget to tell me when you see the Offramp. / Oh, there it-- went. / No problemo. We'll just get off at the next exit.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Seeing as no one was hurt, I think it would be really silly to dwell on this.", "c": ["Miss Botz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "You're a smart, young man, Bart. I hope you're smart enough to keep your mouth shut. / He isn't.", "c": ["Miss Botz", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Stupid Sampsons.", "c": ["Miss Botz"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Homer, would it spoil the mood if I called home, you know, just to check on the kids?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Ask if there's a reward. / Is there a reward? / If she's convicted, we get T-shirts! / Yeah!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Phone operator", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Don't turn your back on that boy for a second. / Ain't that the truth? You know, one time he-- / Huh?", "c": ["Miss Botz", "Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Oh, uh, are you sure this microphone works? Uh, well, I wouldn't say I aided her. This is on, right?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Have you ever seen a kung fu movie? It was just like that. But now I know her moves. So, if you're listening to me, lady, you'd better think long and hard before tying something like this on Homer Simpson again!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Lord, help me. I'm just not that bright.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "The way I see it, if you raise three children who can knock out and hogtie a perfect stranger, you must be doing something right.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "The way I see it, if you raise three children who can knock out and hogtie a perfect stranger, you must be doing something right.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Some Enchanted Evening"}, {"t": "Oh, absolutely brilliant! I truly believed you were Hemingway. Bravo, Martin.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "-Call me Papa. -Some ketchup for your buns, Papa?", "c": ["Martin", "Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Students, prepare to be dazzled. The name of the book that I read was Treasure Island.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "And green birds on their shoulders.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "And published by McGraw-Hill. So in conclusion, on a scale of 1 to 10... 10 being the highest, 1 the lowest, and 5 average, I give it... a 9.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Questions? No? Then I'll sit down. Did you read the book? I'm insulted. Is this a book report or a witch hunt?", "c": ["Bart", "Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Blackbeard, Captain Nemo, Captain Hook, Bluebeard.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "-Blah, blah, blah, blah. -Yes, ma'am. -Blah, blah, blah. -Yes, ma'am. -You haven't been paying attention! -Yes, ma'am.", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Then what did I say? -Straighten up and fly right? -Lucky guess.", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Take that, granny! Hide! Deadly mothballs. Granny's kissing me!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "You reached the level of ungrateful grandchild. Try again, if you dare!", "c": ["Video Game"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "-He doesn't care, Mom. -I do. I want a beer while I'm caring.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "You did! Well, that's just.... Oh, what a glorious day!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Hand me your paper. I'll put it on the refrigerator. I might as well kill two birds with one stone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "You covered up my paper! Look at those funny little whiskers. That reminds me.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "It's Gorilla Week on Million Dollar Movie. No, Dad, I should really-- Gorilla the Conqueror. The granddaddy of them all. Well, maybe just one more hour.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "The little tiger tries so hard. Why does he keep failing? Just a little dim, I guess.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Hey, Bart-dude. You look freaked. I got a test I'm not ready for. Can you crash the bus?", "c": ["Otto", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Sorry, I can't do it on purpose. But maybe you'll get lucky.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "-Name the pilgrim's boat. -The Spirit of St. Louis. -Where'd they land? -Sunny Acapulco. -Why'd they leave England? -Giant rats.", "c": ["Bart", "Girls"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Cool, history's coming alive.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth has more chances than you.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "-What's the matter, son? -Stabbing pains in my stomach.", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "-Do you feel pain in your arm? -Both arms. -Temporary loss of vision? -Who said that? Come closer.", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "I wish I had amoria phlebitis.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "What'd you get for number one? Number two? Yeah, that sounds right.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "This test is worse than Milhouse's!", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Hey, Dr. J.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Look at these results: 55, 42, 26. A 12 on state capitals! Why are we dancing around the obvious? We all know it. I'm dumb as a post.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Look in my eyes. See the sincerity? See the fear? As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "If not, at least you'll be bigger than the other kids.", "c": ["Dr. Pryor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Otto, I respect you. You let us throw stuff at cars and try to tip the bus. Damn thing never goes over, does it?", "c": ["Bart", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "I got held back in the fourth grade. Twice. And look at me, man. Now I drive the school bus!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "I got a peptic ulcer, my wife wants a new car and I need a root canal. Quit bugging me about the pirate.", "c": ["Adult Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "-Long John Silver, Dad. -I heard that, Bart Jr. I want to see both of you after class.", "c": ["Bart Jr.", "Adult Bart", "Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Bart. I don't know the rules of your sport. I didn't want to interfere with a ball in play.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "They laugh at me? I'd always considered myself rather popular.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "My speed with numbers, my years as a hall monitor... my prize-winning dioramas, they mean nothing to them?", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "No, this won't do at all. We have to clean up this room. And we'll need a fern. No room is complete without plant life.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Mischief varies inversely with proximity to the authority figure.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Mischief varies inversely with proximity to the authority figure.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Yeah, but don't say it like that.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Pushing a boy into the girls' lavatory was such a thrill! The screams, the humiliation, the fact that it wasn't me!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "The old Martin no longer exists. Come on, fellows, to the arcade!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Prayer, the last refuge of a scoundrel.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Thanking you in advance, your pal, Bart Simpson.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "-He's Bill. -He's Marty. We can't get enough of each other.", "c": ["Bill", "Marty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Whoa! Good morning, world!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "I don't know who or what God is exactly. But he's more powerful than Mom and Dad put together. And you owe him big.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "I hereby declare this day to be Snow Day... the funnest day in the history of Springfield!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Look, everybody! It's snowing! -In the middle of July? -It's a miracle. I've invented something fun. The sled.", "c": ["Bart's imagination"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "-In the middle of July? -It's a miracle. I've invented something fun. The sled.", "c": ["Colonist", "Ben Franklin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Look, John Hancock's writing his name in the snow!", "c": ["Bart's imagination"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "I know. Another year together. It's gonna be hell.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Now I know how Washington felt when he surrendered Fort Necessity in 1754. You know, 1754. The famous defeat to the French.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "-My God, Bart, you're right! -So? You demonstrated applied knowledge. Such an obscure reference deserves an extra point. It's only fair.", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "I passed! I got a D minus! I passed! I got a D minus! I passed! l-- Kissed the teacher?!", "c": ["Bart", "Students"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Thanks, Dad, but part of this D minus belongs to God.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Gets An F"}, {"t": "Hitler! / North Dakota?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "I'm still beating you, boy", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Breakthrough? There's been a breakthrough?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Some women find bald men quite virile. / Weren't you listening? This is a breakthrough.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "However, any hair growth while using it will be coincidental.", "c": ["Hair product salesman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Stop whining, chrome dome.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "If I had hair, you wouldn't say that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "So he has one less ivory back scratcher.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Meet me in the alley in 15 minutes. Come alone.", "c": ["Insurance clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Get a haircut, you hippie!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Good morning, Moe's Tavern! It's the president.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Just between us girls, he hasn't been this frisky in years.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Patty, stop drooling. / Look who's talking.", "c": ["Selma", "Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "You look different, Homer. Lose weight? You got a tan. I know what it is, a new tie.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Looks like Homer Simpson, only more dynamic and resourceful.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Simpson? An unspoiled lump of clay to mold in my own image.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Backrubs for harried executives. I'll show you.", "c": ["Karl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Hire him. / I'll call you back.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "You don't belong here. You don't belong here.", "c": ["Karl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "You're a fraud and a phony, and they'll find you out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "With the way you talk into your chest... the way you smother yourself in lime-green polyester.", "c": ["Karl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "I am nature's greatest miracle!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "A man's suit should make him a prince. It should cry out: 'Here I am. Don't judge me, love me.'", "c": ["Karl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "You, conceal it.", "c": ["Karl"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "I love you, Karl-- Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Well, sir, for one thing... we had a problem with fish sticks at lunch.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "You only get this tiny cup of sauce, and I always run out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Can't you see? A happy worker is a busy worker. Three cents' worth of sauce could save us hours in labor.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "I like the cut of your jib.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Accidents decreased by the number Simpson is known to have caused.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "I was watching the DuMont last night and I caught a documentary on Rommel.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "$1000. Dimoxinil. To keep brain from freezing.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "An absence of mood swings and stability in my life. / How about a pony? / Okay!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "And I was going to buy that ivory backscratcher.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "I did what any soldier would do when a grenade threatens his commander. I threw myself upon it and bore its terrible brunt.", "c": ["Karl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Hey, what's happening, hepcats? / No way. It's gotta be a fake. It's like reals-ville, daddy-o.", "c": ["Bart", "Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "You've ruined me, you've crippled your family and baldness is hereditary!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "The big words are spelled phonetically.", "c": ["Karl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "It was never the hair. You did it, because you believed you could.", "c": ["Karl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "How do you know? / Mother taught me never to kiss a fool.", "c": ["Homer", "Karl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Yet this company does this every day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "This bald man has no ideas. / If it's a joke, I'm not laughing.", "c": ["Workers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "How old do you think I am? / I don't know. 102?", "c": ["Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "...my glory was a bright shock of strawberry blond curls.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 2, "et": "Simpson And Delilah"}, {"t": "Hello, everyone. You know, Halloween is a strange holiday. I don't understand it. Kids worshiping ghosts, pretending to be devils... things on TV that are inappropriate for children.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "But tonight's show, which I wash my hands of, is really scary.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "...instead of writing us angry letters. Thanks for your attention.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "But it was too late. End of story. I heard that in the third grade. It's not scary.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-Here's a story that's scarifying. -Oh, brother.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-I'm glad there's a curse here. -Huh?", "c": ["Homer", "Real Estate Agent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Well, he must have been motivated. Prime location, 18 rooms, moat. We shouldn't be able to afford this.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-What on earth was that? -Oh, just the house settling.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Looks like a vortex. A gateway into another dimension.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Ooh, a vortex. Catch!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Quit throwing garbage into our dimension.", "c": ["Interdimensional beings"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "It's a fixer-upper. What's the problem?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "We're not talking about a few dollars. We're talking a few thousand dollars!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "It's got great high ceilings!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-Are you my conscience? -I'm-- Yes, I am.", "c": ["Bart", "Evil House"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-Sorry, Dad. -Sorry, Bart. -Sorry, Mom.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "This family has had its differences... but we've never had knife fights. I blame this house.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-It's an ancient Indian burial ground. -Man, this place has everything!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "He says he mentioned it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Stop saying those horrible things and show some manners!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Come on! Do it! Do it! Do it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Why are you scaring us? To keep us from getting close... and maybe even loving you?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "My name is Marge Simpson, and we're not going anywhere. We're going to have to live together, so you better get used to it. Please.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Life with the Simpsons. What choice do I have?", "c": ["Evil House"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "It destroyed itself rather than live with us. You can't help but feel a little rejected.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Eww! Baby spit!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Ooh! That was a big mama.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Cool, man!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-You speak English. -I'm speaking Rigelian. By coincidence, our languages are exactly the same.", "c": ["Homer", "Kang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "To pronounce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "These are hard to make. They're an advanced race.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "The girl's right. Let's get some applesauce for these pork chops!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-What are you looking at, buddy? -Your wife's quite a dish.", "c": ["Homer", "Kang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-Do you get HBO? -No. That's extra.", "c": ["Homer", "Kang"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-That's just Pong! -Get with the times, man.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Anyone that has mastered intergalactic travel, raise your hand. All right, then.", "c": ["Kang", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "I have a feeling you'll be the guests of honor.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "When we arrive, there will be plenty of time to chew the fat.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "It's a harmless cookbook. It's just a little dusty.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Let me get this straight. They thought we would eat them.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Wait, there's still more space dust on here.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Well, if you wanted to make Serak cry, mission accomplished.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "For a superior race, they really rub it in.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "There were monsters on that ship, and we were them.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-Way to go, Lis. -Yeah, thanks, Lisa.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-Wait. That's a schoolbook. -Don't worry, you won't learn anything.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-Are we scared yet? -Bart, he's establishing mood.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "This better be good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "You know what's scarier? Anything!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-Eat my shorts! -He says, 'Nevermore.' And that's all he'll ever say.", "c": ["Bart as Raven", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-Perfumed by some unseen censer -Stupid censer.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer aside"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "-Nevermore -Why you little--", "c": ["Bart as Raven", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "It was written in 1845. Maybe people were easier to scare.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "Like Friday the 13th Part I. It's pretty tame by today's standards.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "They're just children's stories. They can't hurt you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 3, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror"}, {"t": "I feel tranquility outweighs catching fish and use nothing", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Well, this is my day, and we do, sir", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "One. Two. Three.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Getting Washington and Lincoln's birthdays as separate holidays", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Keep the mutants coming! / I'll mutant you", "c": ["Unknown worker", "Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Thanks for taking all the fancies, guys! Why can't I ever get here on time?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Hold me, Smithers", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Gum used to seal crack in cooling tower. / I'm as shocked as you", "c": ["Inspector", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Yeah, well, that's always been like that", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Just resting my eyes! / Well done. A rested employee is a vigilant employee", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Some careless person has left thousands of dollars just lying here on my table", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "The money and a stupid man are still here", "c": ["Inspector"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Take it! Take it, you poor schmo!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Approximately $56 million. / 56 million?! / Don't hit me, sir", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Oh, that I had the strength to", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Just resting my eyes!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Echo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "You and I are a dying breed", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Cushy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Well, nobody's perfect", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Don't get me wrong. You're an honest man. I just meant you could afford to run for governor", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "If you were governor, you could decide what's safe", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "To create a new and better world. / If it's on the way, could you drop me at my house?", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "A political discussion at our table. I feel like a Kennedy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Why are my teeth showing like that? / Because you're smiling! / Excellent!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Advisor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "This is the kind of trickery I'm paying you for", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "I hate that fish!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Oh, no! An election? That's when they close the bars, isn't it?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "I bet before the papers blew this out of proportion, you didn't even know how many eyes a fish had", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "When this announcement's done, every Johnny Lunch-pail in this state will be eating out of my hand", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Actor portraying Charles Darwin", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "It may be a kind of super-fish. I wouldn't mind a third eye, would you?", "c": ["Fake Darwin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "They'd probably blame his ridiculous nose on the nuclear bogeyman", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Only a moron wouldn't cast his vote For Monty Burns", "c": ["Jingle singer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Wow! Super-fish! / I wish the government would get off his back / That Burns is just what this state needs, young blood!", "c": ["Barney", "Moe", "Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Congratulations, Mr. Burns, the polls show you're up six points. / Giving me a total of? / Six", "c": ["Advisor", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "And? / He felt her up. / Not good enough!", "c": ["Advisor", "Investigator", "Advisor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "The voters see you as godlike. / Hot dog!", "c": ["Advisor", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Every Joe Meatball and Sally Housecoat in this godforsaken state will see me chow down with Eddie Punchclock", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Can you memorize this? 'Your campaign's moving like a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?'", "c": ["Campaign advisor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Can I ask him to assuage my fears that he's contaminating the planet and making it uninhabitable?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Finally, Mr. Burns wants you to appear very affectionate to him, but remember, he hates being touched", "c": ["Campaign advisor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "You don't let me express myself. / You express yourself in the home you keep and the food you serve", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "We're eating with the common man, not Tyrone Power.", "c": ["Campaign manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "And look, I've brought noodle kugel.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "I love dogs. Babies too.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "God, we paid for all this ourselves, so thanks for nothing", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Only a child could get away with such blasphemy. God bless them all. Amen.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Oh, Mom, that felt awful. / I'm sorry. It will all be over soon. / But we've become the tools of evil", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "I don't believe it! / He's blown it! / Ruined before it hit the ground", "c": ["Campaign staff"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Here's your headline, 'Burns Can't Swallow Own Story'", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "You can't do this to me! I'm Charles Montgomery Burns!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "I hardly see what destroying our meager possessions will accomplish", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "She's right. Take me home, Smithers. We'll destroy something tasteful", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes cost me the election, but if I had them killed, I'd be the one to go to jail. That's democracy", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "Simpson, I shall make it the focus of my remaining years that your dreams will go unfulfilled", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "When a man's biggest dreams include seconds on dessert, occasional snuggling and sleeping in on weekends, no one man can destroy them", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 4, "et": "Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes "}, {"t": "The only thing worse than being a loser... is being a guy telling the story of how he became a loser.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Two birds with one stone! Okay, everybody out!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Lisa, you're forgetting the beer. It comes in 72-ounce tubs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty to make a complete ass of myself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't the Simps.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, and these must be Bart, Lisa and Expecting.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "The baby's name isn't important. Let's go.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Lousy, washed-up, broken-down tub of guts! Who does he think he is?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Springfield Kozy Kort Motel, Room 26. How about it? Flash.", "c": ["Flash Bailor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Wow, Flash Bailor came on to my wife! You've still got the magic, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Examine my zipper? Why?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Spit on this for me, Smithers. One hawker coming up, sir.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "What a lame-o! I could hear the air being torn, sir. Oh, shut up!", "c": ["Homer", "Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, Burns! Hey, rag arm! You throw like my sister! Yeah, you throw like me!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "How about that? We're in the record book!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "It just means you can't wave your fanny in public. Rub it in.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Not a chance. Only idiots drink beer.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "If someone of your stature can enjoy a beer, maybe I'm wrong on the subject.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "The hitter's off his rocker, kissing Betty Crocker!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Little baby batter, can't control his bladder!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "What do you say we freshen up our little drinkie-poos?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Well, Simpsie, up for another wave? All right, Burnsie.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "These banjos couldn't carry Pie Traynor's glove.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "As I got up, I felt an intoxication that had nothing to do with alcohol. It was the intoxication of being a public spectacle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! The Isotopes win a game! The Isotopes win a game!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "But Simpson's shameless display of exhibitionism tainted the evening. He's banned for life from all company outings.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Me? A mascot for a bush-league team?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "If I hadn't thought of a nickname, all our lives might've been spared.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "For the first time, people didn't laugh at me. They laughed towards me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "I'll stick this where the sun don't shine. Oh yeah? And where might that be?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "I'm in a Caribbean mood tonight. Give me 'Baby Elephant Walk' with a little reggae beat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "You can't fire the players, so you fire the mascot! You make me sick.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Because they might say no.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "This was a big decision. I should've listened to my kids, not my dumb wife. I shouldn't call her that. Bite my tongue.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "It's not so bad. You'll die someplace else. What do I do about friends? You'll make new, better friends.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Yours is dancing on dugouts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Sure. What would you like? Four, five years?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "I'm gonna miss you too. Not.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.19, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Milhouse, this way, we'll be friends forever.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "If we had known each other better, my leaving would actually mean something.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Some may say that I have been given a bad break in life. Little education, bald as a cue ball, 10 years on the same job for the same salary. But today, as I leave for Capital City, I consider myself the luckiest mascot on the face of the earth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Kids, look! Street crime.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "For the first time ever...Marge fell asleep before I did.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Bart was strangely quiet. Later, he said he was confused by his respect for me. It wouldn't last.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "It's also the inning I wish I had a zipper in the front.", "c": ["Capital City Goofball"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "It's also the inning I wish I had a zipper in the front.", "c": ["Capital City Goofball"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "This section is for the ex-wives.", "c": ["Usher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "I was graceful. I was witty. Brother, I was something! But they didn't care.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "He doesn't make me want to cheer. I pity him, making a fool of himself. These cornball antics don't play in Capital City!", "c": ["Capital City Fans"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "I can't! Not after I've seen Capital City! I'll wither and die like a flower.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "As my son would say, I'm one sad, ape-like dude.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "I wonder why stories of degradation and humiliation make you more popular.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 5, "et": "Dancin Homer"}, {"t": "Bust my hump all week. Stupid grass! Supposed to be the boy's job.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "You heard the lady, Homer. So please mow quietly. Genius at work.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "One o'clock. Still just a potato.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Hi, Flanders. -Doing yard work? -Who told? Marge, beer me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "There's nothing wrong with crabgrass. It just has a bad name. Everyone would love it if it was called 'elfgrass.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Don't toy with me, woman.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "We've only been neighbors for one, two, three, four-- Eight years.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "There's my little popcorn ball. Kissy, kissy.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Beggars can't be choosey.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Toodley doodley.", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Your wife's butt is higher than my wife's butt. You make me sick.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "One for the road.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Well, it was how he said it. -How did he say it? -He.... -Was he angry? -No. -Rude? -It wasn't how he said it either... but the message was loud and clear. Our family stinks.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Don't backpedal. You were right. He's perfect. Perfect in every way.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "I'm not perfect, like Ned Flanders.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Probably stepped on a worm.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Oh, Matthew 19: 19, yeah, right.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "'Bosom.' Wait, wait, there's more.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Read the bosom part again, Dad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Too bad we don't live on a farm. Let's go.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "But I got it in the middle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "D'oh! That was practice. / Play it where it lays.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Get bent.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "It went in. -Good shot. -Luck.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Yeah? The fruit of my loins can beat the fruit of your loins any day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "This is the only time I will ever say this. It is not okay to lose.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "what a violin is to the guy-- The violin guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Give it a name. -What? -Give it a name. -Mr. Putter. -Wanna try a little harder? -Give it a girl's name. -Mom. -It's Charlene.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Sometimes the only way to feel good is to make someone feel bad... and I'm tired of making people feel good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "A blockaded bishop is of little value, but I think you mean a pawn.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "'Anecdotes,' 'Eisenhower and,' 'Humor,' 'Japanese Obsession With'....", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Piece of cake.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Absolutely. But, Bart, how can sound exist if there's no one there to hear it?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "You've actually found a practical use for geometry!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Get down before the neighbors see-- / Simpson!", "c": ["Marge", "Ned"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "'May the best man win.' The loser's mating call.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "I'm not a betting man. -I'm a chicken, am I? -Right.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "You have yourself a bet, you jackaninny!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "'Loser' is such a harsh word. How about 'the boy who doesn't win'?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "That crazy Marmaduke. / Eighth hole? / Octopus, third tentacle.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Steak will make him logy. -What won't make him logy? -Oatmeal. -Oatmeal?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "News flash, Lisa. Bart is not a horse. Eat your steak, boy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Having never received encouragement, I'm not sure how it should sound. But here goes. I believe in you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "I already prayed, and we can't both win.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Afraid so, infinity plus one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Mercy's for the weak, Todd.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Remember what Vince Lombardi said! 'Lose, and you're out of the family.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Who wants character? Let's quit. -Okay.", "c": ["Bart", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "this is the most stirring display... of gallantry since Mountbatten gave India back to the Punjabs.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "You're welching on our bet? -What? Neither boy lost. -But neither-- We-- You have to do it too. -Small price to see you humiliated.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Small price to see you humiliated.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Simpson, I feel silly, but what the hay? Reminds me of my old fraternity days. -Oh, my God. He's enjoying it!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. He's enjoying it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 6, "et": "Dead Putting Society"}, {"t": "Stop fighting with your sister! -She took my glue! -It's not yours! This is family glue!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "So glue friendly, or I'll take your glue away!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Hey, man, I don't want your stupid glue.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-Did that make sense? -Not really, Bill. -Now I know how the Pilgrims felt. -What?", "c": ["TV Announcers"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-Who the hell is that? -Bullwinkle. -Who's that? -Underdog. Don't you know anything?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "They should use cartoons made in the last 50 years. This is a tradition. If you build a balloon for every cartoon character... you'll turn the parade into a farce.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-Open the can. -Where's the can opener? It's in the second drawer from the right. No, no, the other one.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "It's broken, Mom. Mom, it's broken. Mom, it's broken Mom, it's broken", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Cranberry sauce \u00e0 la Bart.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "They're Daddy's favorite team. He wants them to lose by less than five points.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "They'll feed him dinner through a tube. Hope they can fit a turkey in there.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Some people find your turkey a little dry. Now they'll have an option.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "It's good to see you. Gotta pick up my old man! Bye!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-So insincere. -How does she put up with him?", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I love those kids! They got such a great attitude!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "...the Western hemisphere! The dancing-est hemisphere!", "c": ["Hurray for Everything Performers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Before we sit down to our delicious turkey pur\u00e9e...", "c": ["Retirement Home Staff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Oh, I knew they wouldn't forget me.", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-This place is depressing. -Hey, I live here! Well, I'm sure it's a blast once you get used to it.", "c": ["Bart", "Grampa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "You never do anything right.", "c": ["Grampa's Mother"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "A stadium's too big for flash pictures to work, but nobody cares!", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "That's no way to lay a fire! -This will roar any time now. -A caveman could start it.", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Holy moly! That's the biggest one of those I ever saw!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-I always said she was gifted. -Definitely from our side. Right, Mom?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Grampa's Mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Speaking of heroes, here's mine: Tom Turkey!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-Yikes! What is that? -It's the centerpiece. -It's taking up real estate. -Move it, toots!", "c": ["Patty", "Selma", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-Hey, that got her going! -Bitchen!", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I'll take some white meat to go, and send up the pie.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I didn't ruin Thanksgiving, she did. I always get blamed.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "And Lord, we're thankful for nuclear power... the cleanest, safest energy source... except for solar, which is a pipe dream.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Not today. You saw what happened! Lord, be honest! Are we the most pathetic family in the universe?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-Amen. -Worst prayer yet.", "c": ["Family", "Grampa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Boy, come here. You're a good dog. We don't need them to get a Thanksgiving dinner.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Smithers, every year you outstrip yourself in succulence.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "No, I couldn't eat another bite. Dispose of all this.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "The intruder is a young male, age 9 to 11. Release the hounds.", "c": ["Burns' Security"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I saw the best meals Of my generation destroyed By the madness of my brother My soul carved in slices By spiky-haired demons", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Twelve bucks! Hey, I can bleed.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Here you go, doll face. Okay, Homer. Just relax.", "c": ["Bart", "Nurse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Homer was never stubborn. He always folded instantly. As if he had no will of his own. -Isn't that true, Homer? -Yes, Dad.", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Twelve bucks and a free cookie. What a country.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Viva skid row! Hey, it's that anchor dude from Channel 6.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "We have lots of names for these people: Bums, deadbeats, losers, scums of the earth. We'd like to sweep them into the gutter or to some other out-of-the-way place.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "So every year on one lone, conscience-salving day... we toss these people a bone. A turkey bone.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Pompous, blow-dried, college boy! -His girlfriend does the weather. -You don't say.", "c": ["Homeless Men"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "How long have you been on the streets? Five years. Ha-ha! I didn't apologize!", "c": ["News Reporter", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-Ha-ha! I didn't apologize! Give me the number for 911!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Give me the number for 911!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Thanks for your help. This reporter smells another Emmy.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Yeah, there's this family I hang out with. -Sounds pretty sweet. -Yeah, I guess it is.", "c": ["Bart", "Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Guys, unless you feel weird about taking money... from a kid, I thought.... -I wouldn't feel weird. -I'm comfortable with it.", "c": ["Bart", "Homeless Men"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Let's go! If I'm not back at the home by 9... they declare me dead and collect my insurance.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Let's go! If I'm not back at the home by 9, they declare me dead and collect my insurance.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Get down on your knees and beg for forgiveness. Yeah, beg me, Bart. Beg me!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Now we can blame him for everything! -It's your fault I'm bald! -Sorry. -It's your fault I'm old! -Sorry. -It's your fault I can't talk! -Sorry.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Bart", "Grampa", "Grampa's Mother"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "It's your fault America has lost its way. -It's all your fault. -I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!", "c": ["Family", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Jackpot! A sellout crowd at the Super Bowl... Simpson down by six with two seconds left. He's got Simpson in the open. Touchdown, Simpson! The boy nobody wanted just won the Super Bowl!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Jackpot! A sellout crowd at the Super Bowl... Simpson down by six with two seconds left. He's got Simpson in the open. Touchdown, Simpson! The boy nobody wanted just won the Super Bowl!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "Because you hate me or because you're bad?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I don't know. I don't know why I enjoyed it... or why I'll do it again!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Lisa. -Apology accepted.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 7, "et": "Bart Vs Thanksgiving"}, {"t": "-Rasputin, the Friendly Russian. -Wasn't he the Mad Russian?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "History has changed wrestling, perhaps forever.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "The challenger from Heidelberg, Professor Burnabon Brawn. With a \"W.\"", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "I hope you're not taking this seriously. 5-year-olds know this is as choreographed as ballet.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Look at that showoff, kissing his own muscles.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "-That's my seat. -Correction, was your seat.", "c": ["Nelson", "Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "But I only got up to go to the can. I don't see your name on this barstool.", "c": ["Nelson", "Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "If you miss it, you better be dead or in jail. If you're in jail, break out!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "I have an announcement. As a family growth thing... we should go to the Monster Truck Rally this Saturday.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "I have my first solo. If you miss it, start looking for a child therapist.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "-But Truck-a-saurus is one night only! -Cruel fate, why do you mock me?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "-We can go to both. -Marge, you're a genius!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Series!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Good, unfinished. This shouldn't take long.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "How much longer was Sherbert planning on making this?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Lisa was great. Her fingering's come a long way.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "-Thanks, Flanders. Big know-it-all.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "-My son, my son. -Come on, Flanders. He's not that bad.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "I reached him. Drive defensively. The best defense is a good offense. Faster, Dad. Truck-a-saurus awaits!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Damn, no spots!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Pull! Pull, you dogs!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Let's see, cracked windshield, melted bumpers... punctured radiator, teeth marks in the trunk.", "c": ["Leo Clark"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Truck-a-saurus feels very badly about what happened.", "c": ["Leo Clark"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Wow, a woman mud pool driver. Another barrier broken. Right on, sister!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "-Give me some nachos, Homer-saurus. -Here, Bart-a-saurus.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "He's no stranger to danger. If he's not in action, he's in traction. Captain Lance Murdock!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "I'm glad you're here to witness what may be my grisly death.", "c": ["Lance Murdock"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "...and most frightening, the king of the jungle... one ferocious lion!", "c": ["Lance Murdock"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "one drop of human blood.", "c": ["Lance Murdock"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "On the chance I don't live, let me say... seat belts save lives, so buckle up!", "c": ["Lance Murdock"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "On the chance I don't live, let me say... seat belts save lives, so buckle up!", "c": ["Lance Murdock"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Bitchen!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "-Dad, I wanna be a daredevil. -Kids say such stupid things.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "You're crazy. You'll never make it. Spare me your lectures, ladies.", "c": ["Kids", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "-My little boy! -Come on, Marge, we're mad at him.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "-Are you all right? -Better than all right. I got stitches! Probably a scar too.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "It's tragic, but it's a small price to pay for top-notch entertainment.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Amen!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Gnarly! I bet you could toss a body in there and no one would ever find it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "As the only adult here, I feel I should say something. What? Cool!", "c": ["Otto", "Bart", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "There's a good chance I'll fall to my death. Hope to see you there!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "I can't explain it, but I get the same thrill from jumping stuff... that you do from reading.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "I can't explain it, but I get the same thrill from jumping stuff... that you do from reading.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Doc, I heard a snap. I'm afraid it's broken. That's all of them.", "c": ["Lance Murdock", "Doctor"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "I've broken that dozens of times.", "c": ["Lance Murdock"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "But the fact is: bones heal, chicks dig scars... and the U.S.A. has the best doctor to daredevil ratio in the world.", "c": ["Lance Murdock"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "He's got us. There's nothing we can do. He's as good as dead.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "If you don't, I'll never believe you ever again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "If you don't, I'll never believe you ever again. Come on. I mean it, boy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "I should have-- And I was gonna play pickle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "You'll see what it's like to watch a family member risk his life... for no good reason!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "I'm gonna make it! This is the greatest thrill of my life! I'm king of the world!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Think you got guts? Try raising my kids!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "Think you got guts? Try raising my kids!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 8, "et": "Bart The Daredevil"}, {"t": "They're nothing special. The extra ingredient is care.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "A sprinkle of chervil, half a teaspoon of turmeric and a whisper of MSG.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Volume One: Spice Racks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Pick up a hammer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Not as easy as I thought it was.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Dad, can you move your head? / I can't. It's broken.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Where would a child get the idea to attack her father with a mallet?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "But if you take them away, we'll grow up without humor and be robots. / Really? What kind of robots?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Hey, that's just crazy enough to work.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "I told you. My baby beat me up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "It is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. Wise guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Because why? / I said so. / You said so why? / I'm trying to work. / What are you doing? / Cataloguing the violence.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "I don't think adults have ever sat down and watched them before.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "What kind of warped human being would find that funny?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "What kind of warped human being would find that funny?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "As to your comments, research shows one person can't make a difference... no matter how screwy she is.", "c": ["Roger Myers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "I'll show them what one screwball can do!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "How long are we gonna do this? / I've never changed the world. I don't know how long it takes.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "What is 'S-N-U-H'? / Snuh. It's 'Springfieldians for Nonviolence, Understanding and Helping.'", "c": ["Ned", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "I didn't know they made TV dinners this bad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "There's peas in my cobbler. / They're everywhere.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Twenty million women, and I had to marry Jane Fonda.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Hey! Settle down, boys and girls. Or Krusty will bring out his friend Corporal Punishment again.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Drop an anvil? / Hit her with a piano? / Stuff her with TNT, throw a match and run?", "c": ["Itchy & Scratchy Writers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "All your degrees and that's the best you can do? You make me sick.", "c": ["Roger Myers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "I'm so funny!", "c": ["Unknown child"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Some of these are good. I never knew mice lived such lives.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Are cartoons too violent? Most people say, 'No! What a stupid question!'", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "There was the crusades. Tremendous violence! Many killed!", "c": ["Roger Myers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "It went on for 30 years. / This was before cartoons?", "c": ["Roger Myers", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "I'm referring to women who love too much, fear of winning, sex-aholism.", "c": ["Dr. Marvin Monroe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "One of my guilty little pleasures is to turn on Itchy & Scratchy... and laugh myself silly.", "c": ["Dr. Marvin Monroe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "I won't watch your show, buy your products... or brake if I see you crossing the street.", "c": ["Marge reading fan mail"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Make it a pie. Easier to draw.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Couldn't Itchy share his pie with Scratchy? Then they'd both have pie.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "It's different, I'll give you that.", "c": ["Roger Myers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Itchy and Scratchy have lost their edge. / It's a nice message of sharing. / I think it sucks.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Maggie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "We went fishing. Almost caught a catfish this big. / I went bird watching and saw a grackle.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Wow! What great kids. This is the golden age, Marge!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Filth. It portrays parts of the body which, though practical, are evil.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "I like that statue. / I knew she was soft on nudity.", "c": ["Marge", "Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "A masterpiece? Or just a guy with his pants down?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "We want your big Italian butt out of here!", "c": ["Protester"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Aren't you Marge Simpson, the wacko?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "One person can make a difference but probably shouldn't.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Tomorrow our topic will be 'Religion: Which Is the One True Faith?'", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "There he is, Michelangelo's Dave. / David.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Really? Why? / They're forcing them!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 9, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Marge"}, {"t": "Just give him a nickel and let's get going!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Hey, cool. I'm dead!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Please hold on to the handrail. Do not spit over the side.", "c": ["Afterlife Guide"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Snowball! Do not spit over the side.", "c": ["Bart", "Afterlife Guide"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you? Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm the devil!", "c": ["Bart", "Devil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Spitting just clinched it.", "c": ["Devil"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "It's a mistake. You're due to arrive when the Yankees win the pennant. Nearly a century from now. Boy, is my face red!", "c": ["Devil"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Remember, lie, cheat, steal and listen to heavy metal music!", "c": ["Devil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "And you were there! And you. And you. And you. You I've never seen before.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "It turns into a sponge in water.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "How does a nice girl know that word?", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Is that a broken neck? Great!", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "We've got a nasty bump on our head. Quit it! And a tiny broken toe. Quit it!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Simpson, at last we meet.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "So extortion is the name of your game?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Tangle with me, and I'll crush you like a paper cup.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "You don't have to do that. I can throw myself out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "The Supreme Court called. They need your help on a freedom thing. Tell them to sit tight. I'll get back to them.", "c": ["Della", "Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Yes, Harvard, Yale, MIT, Oxford, the Sorbonne, the Louvre.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "But just between you and me, I promise you a big cash settlement.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "You'll also get this faux pearl necklace, a $99 value, as our gift.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "You see that dark spot there? Whiplash.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Am I going to die? Yes, son!", "c": ["Bart", "Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Will I ever play baseball again? No!", "c": ["Bart", "Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "The only person here who comes close is him. Stop, you're embarrassing me!", "c": ["Dr. Nick", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Tons of it. Just say when.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Let him twist in the wind. Slowly, slowly. When the papers have found their new flavor of the month, he'll find out this cat has claws!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "But what is truth, if you follow me?", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "You mean like I'm dead? Sure. The kid's a pro.", "c": ["Bart", "Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "You wouldn't dare! Well, no, I guess I wouldn't.", "c": ["Judge", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "I was about to be struck by the luxury car of death!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Although sometimes I wish I had been.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "I was driving to the orphanage to pass out toys.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "You cold-blooded monster!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Take me, I'm old!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "What trial were you watching?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Just get that ape to my house and we'll buy him off with a banana!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "I don't like everything about them. Just their heads.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "He's offering us this because he knows he'll lose and have to pay us a million.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "I spit on his $500,000!", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "$500,000! I spit on his $500,000!", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Smithers, release the hounds.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Oh, the truth!", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "My mother said, 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything.' Will that hold up? No, I've tried.", "c": ["Marge", "Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "And he mispronounced words like 'abdomen.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Well, we can't blame them for trying, can we?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "A million dollars. My wife cost me a million dollars.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "A million dollars' worth, you snake-woman! No. String beans? No, you two-timing, backstabbing-- Better answer. No.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "You're better off. Rich people aren't happy. They think they're happy but trust me, they ain't.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Homer, I'd like you to forgive me for doing the right thing.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "She's your wife of 10 years, you've had 3 children. It's time to be honest.", "c": ["Bar patron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "I'll still do the bed stuff.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Do it if it'll shut her up. Start with the feet. Still angry. Good, Homer! This is tough, need refreshment. Trustworthy beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "For the next 15 minutes, one-third off on every pitcher. One per customer, domestic beer only. Hey, no sharing!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 10, "et": "Bart Gets Hit By A Car"}, {"t": "Isn't there anything faster than a microwave?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "I've got a dried-out end piece with your name on it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Thursday. Meat loaf night. As it was, is now, and ever shall be.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Who said that? Nobody wants that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "We haven't missed pork chop night since the pig scare in '87!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Fine! We'll go to Mars!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "The playground has the facts right but missed the point.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "If I said no the first time, would I say yes the second time? / Maybe on the ninety-ninth time. / Try me.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Please, Dad? / Okay!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "This is our karaoke bar. Now it is empty... but soon it will be full of drunken Japanese businessmen.", "c": ["Akira"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Sushi Surprise, a bit of everything. Very non-threatening.", "c": ["Akira"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "It's hard to choose. It all looks so terrible.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "The squid looks like it's been hacked by a blind woodsman. Hang your head in shame.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Oh, boy! This fish is delish!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Oh, boy! This fish is delish!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "I recommend the raw quail egg. / You're the doctor!", "c": ["Akira", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Come on, pal. Fugu me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Oh, Miss Krabappel, your hair smells so... clean.", "c": ["Master chef"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "My skilled hands are busy! You do it!", "c": ["Master chef"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Poison. Poison. Tasty fish!", "c": ["Apprentice chef"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Fan-fugu-tastic!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "'Try something new. How can it hurt you, Homer?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Never heard of a poisoned pork chop!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "No need, doc. I can read Marge like a book.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "24 hours? / Well, 22. I'm sorry I kept you waiting.", "c": ["Homer", "Doctor"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "when your heart explodes", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "First, denial. / No way! I'm not dying! / The second is anger. / Why, you little--!", "c": ["Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "'So You're Going to Die.'", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Hello, Marge. Hello! I'm the one dying, not you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "What's that word you use for when you and I...? / When we're intimate? / 'Be intimate with Marge.'", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "There will be plenty of time for that!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Number one: Cover for me. Number two: Oh, good idea, boss! Three: It was like that when I got here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "You son of a--! / And that's how we shave.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "It was like that when I got here! / That's my boy!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Oh, I want to be in that rumba / When the saints go over there / Oh, over there!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "The joke's on him! I'll be dead by then.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Unless you taped over this, you probably wonder about your dad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "We never danced the hootchy-koo either.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Gee, Dad, hog my last moments.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "The old guy's a little love-starved.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "When I say give me a ticket, just give me a ticket!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Look what else your tax dollars pay for.", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Nobody's here! Nobody's here! / Damn those answering machine tapes!", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer, go to the window. Hey, neighbor! I can see you!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "What did you do? Kill a judge?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "What did you do? Kill a judge?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Forty-eight dollars and 70 cents. / We don't usually take rusty money.", "c": ["Barney", "Police"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "We don't usually take rusty money.", "c": ["Bail clerk"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "That's it, baby. Work those ankles!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Burns! Eat my shorts!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Of all the luck. I almost died without telling the boss to eat my shorts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Hey, is there a Butts here? A Seymour Butts? / Hey, everybody. I wanna Seymour Butts!", "c": ["Moe", "Bart (caller)"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "You scum-sucking pus bucket! When I get you, I'm gonna pull out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "I never told you, but sometimes when I'm at work, I think of you and smile.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Not in public! / You'd better be dying!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "The clouds are forming... Give me a break.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "I'm Larry King. In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.", "c": ["Larry King (on tape)"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "That's it. Duke Zeibert's standing by. We'll get some matzo ball soup. I love the Spurs.", "c": ["Larry King (on tape)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "His drool, it's warm!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "From now on, I vow to live life to its fullest!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "[Homer immediately watching bowling on TV]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 11, "et": "One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish"}, {"t": "Do you have to sit so close? It'll hurt your eyes.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.13, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Our next movie is McBain... a shoot-them-up, splatter-fest from the Hollywood cookie cutter.", "c": ["TV Critic"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "That makes two of us.", "c": ["McBain"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Are we talking about the same movie? McBain was a nonstop roller coaster of chills, thrills, spills and kills.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "That movie stinks like your creepy apartment.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I love watching the bald guy argue with the fat tub of lard.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "All right, all right. Time for Dr. TV to perform a little surgery!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Looks like you lost the patient, doc.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Shut up. Cheap Chinese TV, why'd I ever buy it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.72, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "You're staring at a dot.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "She's right! She's right! Oh, how I miss TV!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Dear God, give me one channel!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "You lie!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I ain't loving it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Gross.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.68, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Let's smoke.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Not if I have to do heavy lifting or math.", "c": ["Young Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Boy, you don't gain a pound. It's my metabolism. I'm one of the lucky ones.", "c": ["Young Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't Simpson and Gumble, Springfield's Cheech and Chong.", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Yeah, mama! Take it off!", "c": ["Male Student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I wouldn't go if you were Elliott Gould!", "c": ["Estelle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "There's gotta be a girl nobody wants to take.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "-Hey, would you like to go--? -She's mine!", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "-So what are you in for? -I'm a political prisoner.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Every day, I show up, act like me and they slap me in here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "-What? -Another day of detention! -Let's get together. -Two days! -What's your name? -Homer. -Three days! -J. Simpson. -Five! -It was worth it! Six days!", "c": ["Homer", "Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "-But, Dad, I don't drink-- -Cut the crap! 'I collect the cans.'", "c": ["Young Homer", "Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Oh, son, don't overreach! Go for the dented car, the dead-end job, the less attractive girl!", "c": ["Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I met this girl, Marge, and I wanna force her to like me.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Me? I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out all night!", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Me, in a nuclear power plant. Kaboom!", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I'll take that, stinkpot! Just warming up, Mrs. Bloominstein.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Fifty-five? That's ridiculous! Sure, it'll save a few lives, but millions will be late!", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "-Ignoramus? -It means I'm stupid, doesn't it? -Stupidity is different. -Not to me.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Ay, carumba!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "You may not remember me. I mooned for rebuttal.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I'm not asking you to like me or let me touch your goodies. Just be fair.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I think if he applies himself, trains real hard, he could go another foot.", "c": ["Coach Flanagan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I had him for four years. Solid 'C' student. Made a lamp last year.", "c": ["Shop Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "He's all things to men and maybe to a lucky gal. Wanna go to prom with me?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "French? What a coincidence! Just the subject I'm having trouble with.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "-Why, you cagey old dog! -Great story. Work, damn you, work!", "c": ["Present Homer", "Present Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, a zit. No problemo.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "The perfect crime.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "-Why is there make-out music on? -It helps me study.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "You're telling me new stuff and minutes later, it's still there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "When I see you forming vowels and continents--", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "You're dear and honest and open, without a trace of pretension.", "c": ["Young Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "My tux will have the widest lapels and the highest platform shoes.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I'm not in any French class. This was a brilliant scheme to get to know you.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Homer J. Simpson, I hate you!", "c": ["Young Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I know this story doesn't end with you telling it to us.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "They married, had kids and bought a cheap TV.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "This may not be an appropriate forum for what I'm about to put forth... but would you go to the prom with me?", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "-Couldn't we just use rouge for this? -Ladies pinch. Whores use rouge.", "c": ["Young Marge", "Patty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "That's what you get when you don't put out.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Wait a second. If he's your date, who are you?", "c": ["Clancy Bouvier"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I'm a spare. Excuse me.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Say 'Cheez Whiz.'", "c": ["Clancy Bouvier"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.38, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "I paid for this car, tuxedo and the two dinners! We're going to the prom!", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Wait a second, is that a bong? You have asthma? All right, move along.", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "-I thought you dropped out. -You wish, Dondalinger. -That's Mr. Dondalinger.", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Hello, classmates. Instead of voting for an athletic hero or pretty boy... you have elected me, your intellectual superior, as your king.", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Usually when I have a thought, there's others. Something says yes and no. This time, it's only yes.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "-No, it's okay. I'm broke. I'll walk. -Yeah, why spoil a perfect evening?", "c": ["Homer", "Limo Driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "All right! All right! I'll walk in the mud!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Once you stop this car, I'm gonna hug you and kiss you... and I'll never let you go.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "And I never have.", "c": ["Present Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 12, "et": "The Way We Was"}, {"t": "Evening, Carver of Graven Images. -Homer the Thief. How's business?", "c": ["Ancient Characters"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Been a little slow. Not much to steal in the desert.", "c": ["Homer the Thief"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Do not worry. We'll be wandering out here another two weeks, tops.", "c": ["Homer the Thief"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Zohar the Adulterer. My wife sends her regards. -Yes, she's a good woman. Very good. -Thank you, my lusty friend.", "c": ["Zohar the Adulterer", "Another Character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "-Moses is back. -Quick! Everybody, look busy.", "c": ["Ancient Characters"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "I will read them in no particular order.", "c": ["Moses"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "\"Thou shalt not make graven images.\" -Oh, my God!", "c": ["Moses", "Carver of Graven Images"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "\"Thou shalt not commit adultery.\" -Well, looks like the party's over.", "c": ["Moses", "Zohar the Adulterer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Hey, Moses. Keep them coming! \"Thou shalt not steal.\"", "c": ["Homer the Thief", "Moses"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Sorry, Homer.", "c": ["Moses"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "That's the most dishonest thing I've ever heard! I should box your ears!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Boy, what's this world coming to? -That's exactly-- -Gotta go.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "\"Myth: Cable piracy is wrong. Fact: Cable companies are faceless corporations which makes it okay.\"", "c": ["Cable Installer reading pamphlet"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "It's funny because it's true!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Nothing a month? Yeah, I think we can swing that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "\"Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies. Fact: Most movies on cable get two stars or less and are repeated ad nauseam.\"", "c": ["Homer reading pamphlet"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "We'll teach you to lower your bill by making your own Band-Aids.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "This is where Jaws eats the boat. Here, Die Hard jumps through the window. This is where Wall Street gets arrested.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "They think people watch that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Live, from New Orleans. This is the World Series of Cockfighting! Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou tonight.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Oh, pizza.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "I sat through mercy and forgiveness. Finally, we get to the good stuff.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Hell is terrible! Maggots are your sheet, worms your blanket.", "c": ["Sunday School Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "-Won't you eventually get used to it? -No. -Yes.", "c": ["Student", "Sunday School Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "-Are there pirates in hell? -Thousands of them. -Oh, baby!", "c": ["Student", "Sunday School Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Hell, hell, hell, hell....", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from Cry Yuma and Here Comes the Coast Guard!", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "A program-length advertisement!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "-Thank you, Troy. Hi, everybody! -Hi, Dr. Riviera!", "c": ["Dr. Nick Riviera", "Audience"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "It won't cost you a thing. Except your soul!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Beats the hell out of me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Thou shalt not.... Covet... graven images. Something about covet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Yes. I ate two grapes. Please charge me for them.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "I need a price check on two grapes. You heard me, Phil. Two measly, stinking grapes.", "c": ["Store Clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Run for the hills, Ma Barker, before I call the feds!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "How can one little insulated wire bring so much happiness?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "After the fight, we can watch the still photos on the news.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "The screen door resting off its hinges. Mangy dog staggering about looking vainly for a place to die.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "The big fight is one of those rare occasions that I savor the sights, the sounds and the smells of other men.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Well, it was either cable or the mechanical bull. I made my choice and I stand by it.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "The fight! I'll get my brother, Sanjay, to cover for me. He deplores violence.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "No. It is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "-Should I have him arrested? -That seems like an ideal solution.", "c": ["Lisa", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "You're watching Top Hat Entertainment. Adult programming all day, every day. Except in Florida and Utah.", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "-Ay, carumba! -Bart!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "It's for mommies and daddies who love each other.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Sorry, I'd rather go to heaven.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "There's something wrong with that kid. She's so moral.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "I can't afford it. When I can afford to pay for it, I will. But I can't so I'm not going to.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "It's coming down! The cable stays. The foot has spoken.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Would you be interested in this stereo? A $500 value. You can have it for $40.", "c": ["Burglar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "The most beautiful women! Just 50 cents! I'm your host, Bart Simpson! You must be at least 8 years old.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "-Gross! -Yet strangely compelling.", "c": ["Child", "Another Child"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "I wish I was an adult so I could break rules.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "-Did you swipe those from work? -Certainly not. What are you implying?", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "-You can't! -I can! You dedicate the fight to your manager! I want to tell you that I'm not watching this fight.", "c": ["Boxers", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Quick! It's Moe. I gotta hide the mugs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Hide the stuff I borrowed from work! -Borrowed? -Okay, that stuff I stole from work. -Oh, okay.", "c": ["Homer", "Family member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "-Hide the stuff I borrowed from work! -Borrowed? -Okay, that stuff I stole from work.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Smithers, the Cheetos.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "It wasn't me. It was my wife's idea. Yeah!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Assault. Manslaughter. Stealing cable TV!", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "I hate to interrupt your judging me. I've made a couple of important decisions.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Number two: I'm not very fond of any of you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Everyone to my place for squishies and microwave burritos.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "I once watched Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo bare-knuckled for 113 rounds! Back then, if it was less than 50 rounds, we demanded our nickel back!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "Third time's a charm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 13, "et": "Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment"}, {"t": "No! No! Bad dog! Let go!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Bad Santa's Little Helper! Stop! Not the sports section!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "No! Stay away! This is not for you! This is Homer food!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "I'll make it, Mom. Just tape my lunch box to my hand.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Yes, master.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Not that I'm angry, but how did you get my home number?", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Well, Mrs. Simpson... I'd like to rely on your diagnosis, but it'd be derelict of me to do so.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "No way, she's faking. If Lisa stays home, I stay home.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "If Bart stays home, I go to school.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Wait. If Lisa goes to school, I go. But if she stays, I stay, so... Lisa goes to school...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Don't confuse him.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Lisa, you wasted chicken pox. Don't waste the mumps.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Bart-dude! Hey, Otto-man! Yo, hairy bro.", "c": ["Bart", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Wandering mongrel. Get out of my mom-and-pop operation.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Your canine is in my pool again. I'm calling the dog warden.", "c": ["Mrs. Winfield"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "You go ahead and call your precious dog warden, you old axe... because my dog is tied up!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "I am looking at him right--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Well, how-doodlie-do. Getting some exercise? Good for you.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Look at this rascal. He's a wet boy, isn't he? You're a water monster.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Well, well, 'Mr. Universe' takes a walk.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "'Mr. Universe,' I wish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "They've got Velcro, a water pump, built-in odometer, and vanity plates.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "My heart rate's dropping. Better skedaddle-y-do.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Before you know it, you'll be back among your polygons... and your Euclidian algorithms.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Oh, the kissing disease.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "My little girl is growing up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Teen Dream, Teen Scream... and Teen Steam magazine?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "It smells historic.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "The memory of a million drop stitches flows in your veins.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Now that's a sewing finger, honey.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "They're for my daughter. Sure. Wise guy.", "c": ["Homer", "Store clerk"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Simpson! I order you to buy those shoes! You're the boss!", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "'Keep On Truckin'?' What does that mean? I didn't know then. I don't know now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "How many of these guys are Corey? Eight.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Phonics, functions, vocabulary, remedial reading? Do your own homework, Bart!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "You bought those smoke alarms, and we haven't had a single fire.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "'Satan's Little Helper.' Santa's Little Helper.", "c": ["Training instructor", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Nonsense taught by charlatans and learned by bloody twits!", "c": ["Training instructor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "I'll tell you the most important words you'll ever hear... choke chain.", "c": ["Training instructor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "The dog's eyes will cross, and his tongue will protrude slightly.", "c": ["Training instructor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Is my dog dead, ma'am? You don't know how often I'm asked that.", "c": ["Student", "Training instructor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "I don't know. I just dip in and out. I'm only watching because Brandy knows the body is hidden in the boathouse.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "The other, like a hose without a fireman. Which way do you think that was? Like a hose, you wrinkled queen.", "c": ["Training instructor", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "My dog was bringing me my shoes, and they fell apart in his mouth. Our warranty doesn't cover fire, theft or acts of dog.", "c": ["Homer", "Store clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "If you'd like to buy, they're $1. So that's your little plan! Get us addicted, then jack up the price!", "c": ["Vendor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Well, you win.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "He taught that the noblest concerto can be drained of its beauty.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "He taught me that music is a fire that comes out your mouth. So you better stick an instrument in front of it.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "My quilt! Six generations, ruined!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "My cookie!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "We never did this before. We never had a family member we can give away.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "I'll set fire to my hair, rip my clothes!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "I've suffered at the paws of this dog... but when I look into his vacant eyes, I can't bear to let him go.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "We can question his disposition, but we can't question his heart.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "If they're ever going to pull the plug on me, I want you in my corner.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "You moldy old maid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Free to loving home, world's smartest dog. Says 'I love you' on command.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Take a walk. Sniff that other dog's butt. See? He does exactly what I say.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "He'd be happy at my farm. People think only mules can pull carts. Impatient people think that, patient people know better.", "c": ["Farmer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "Heavens to murgatroid. Perhaps I cling to the old ways like a well-chewed shoe...", "c": ["Training instructor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "We do not need another college graduate who doesn't know how to sit!", "c": ["Training instructor"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. You can't help being dumb.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "This patch commemorates the destruction of the old quilt.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "If you knew how to learn-- Sit. Wait a minute, you did it!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "You son of a bitch! Good show!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 14, "et": "Principal Charming"}, {"t": "I can still taste the sauce. And get this: It's all-you-can-eat! This is like some beautiful dream!", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Marge, I've got five words to say to you. Greasy Joe's Bottomless BBQ Pit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "You promised you'd only have six servings of pork a week.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "I'm only human.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Hey, alley cats. Save it for the honeymoon!", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "F. L. No, I'm sorry. That's a 'C,' isn't it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "If that was a car, you'd be dead now.", "c": ["DMV Employee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Hello, Selma. Hello, Stanley.", "c": ["Stanley", "Selma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Is this seat taken? Yes! Hey, beat it!", "c": ["Homer", "Wedding Guest"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Poor Brandy.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "I'm sure you'd resent my pity, so I'll hope you're one of the statistically small number of single 40-year-olds who find their fair prince.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "I'll tell you one thing, Greasy Joe is sorry he ever met me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "No, that's just my sister-in-law.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "I'll get right to it. I'm getting older and uglier. Please, Marge, help me find a man before it's too late.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Wait, which one's Selma?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Patty chose celibacy but Selma simply had it thrust upon her.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Why should she have a better husband than you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Excellent.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Vandalism fans, hold on to your hats. He'll never get away with it. He just goes too far.", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "The sheer contempt makes me wish I could use the board of education.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "The sheer contempt makes me wish I could use the board of education.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Homer Sexual. Wait one second, let me check. Homer Sexual! Come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual!", "c": ["Moe", "Bar Patrons"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Don't look at me!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "You little punk! If I get ahold of you... I'll rip your face off! You'll do what, young man?", "c": ["Moe", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Sorry, Principal Skinner. It's a bad connection, I think.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Only to my job. But if you weren't, you'd tend to go for a girl?", "c": ["Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "These pants come off at night just like everybody else's.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "This dinner wouldn't be a plan to set me up with some... unmarried relation, would it? Because I can--", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Be still, my foolish heart.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Here we go. Boy meets beast.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Hey, tubs, I'm Patty!", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "D'oh! Wrong one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Nothing more to tell, really. The Nile smells and the horseflies are huge.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Marvelous. Just marvelous.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Marvelous. Just marvelous. Well, Selma hated Egypt too. A camel spit on her.", "c": ["Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Your first date in 25 years is more important than playing cards.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Here you go. Smoke them in good health.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "You haven't seen the last of Willie!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "You don't want to show up for your big date looking like Yosemite Sam.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "You don't want to show up for your big date looking like Yosemite Sam.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Achingly beautiful.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Food tastes better when you're revolving.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Little Jimmy Pearson. Class of '71, right? Get this woman a glass of water! And tuck in your shirt. Nearly 30 and still working as a busboy! Standardized testing never lies.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Two minutes younger. Skin like a china doll. Bosoms till Tuesday.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. Plenty of fish. We just don't have any bait.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "I can't forget what happened to that poor dingo. What could've done it? It was probably just a wallaby. Now come on.", "c": ["Movie Characters"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Oh, that was the worst movie I've ever seen. Not as bad as the service at the revolving restaurant.", "c": ["Patty", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Isn't it nice we hate the same things?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Thursday, I'm going food shopping. You can come if you like. Until then.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Oh, I wish I could make a P.A. announcement to the whole world. Attention! Seymour Skinner is in love!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Oh, I wish I could make a P.A. announcement to the whole world. Attention! Seymour Skinner is in love!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "That's cool. Skinner's gonna kill you! Skinner? He works for me now.", "c": ["Student", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Patty. I hate to pull you away from your exercise... but I wanted you to be first to know. I plan to ask your aunt to marry me.", "c": ["Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Your funeral.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Like my wife's ugly sister. Wheel her in, Homer. I'm not picky.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "My sister's not going out with Barney Gumble! She's no prize pig herself, you know!", "c": ["Marge", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Can the sweet talk! You're right. It's time to end my girlish dreams... and grab hold of the next train out of the station.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Is that Selma? Ring-a-ding-ding!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "It takes a ripe piece of cheese to catch the mouse.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "It's time to give away my love like cheap wine.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Jeezum Crow! Look at the size of that rock! The second most precious jewel here.", "c": ["Selma", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "It's not that I don't love you. You love me! Yes. Yes, but--", "c": ["Patty", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "It's kind of a Catch-22.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Oh, Springfield Elementary, I will have you back again! After all, tomorrow is another school day!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "Oh, Springfield Elementary, I will have you back again! After all, tomorrow is another school day!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "We decided we loved each other enough never to see each other again.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "I told you you'd be back!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 15, "et": "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"}, {"t": "$2.50 for this? What a gyp!", "c": ["Homer", "Movie patron"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "You broke up that meeting. Now I'm thinking about holding another meeting in bed.", "c": ["McBain villain"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "The screen's small! The floor's sticky! The subplot felt tacked on. We demand a refund!", "c": ["Movie patrons"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Don't have a heart attack, old dude. Don't you tell me what to do, you young whipper...snapper!", "c": ["Young patron", "Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Thanks for nuclear power, which is yet to cause a single proven fatality...at least in this country. Amen.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Bart ate during the blessing! You opened your eyes. Eating is worse. Is not! Is too!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "One more word and Bart gets no cartoons...and Lisa can't go to college! Dad! Not one word!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "No panto-ma-mine, either.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Not that close!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Oh, Dad! You and your imagination.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Hey, handsome, wanna dunk the clown?", "c": ["Carnival worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "She did things your mother would never do. Like have sex for money.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "This makes me feel special. Since I'm the one you kept, it means you really love me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Interesting theory.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Yeah, right. Good luck.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "A long-lost half-brother. How Dickensian!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Know where this bastard lives? His parents aren't married. It's the correct word, isn't it? He's got us there.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "You're a little late. They tore that down 30 years ago. Thirty years! I'll never find him!", "c": ["Old man", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Oh, brother, where art thou?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Yeah, but we're looking for my brother today.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Your brother could be anywhere, even Detroit.", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "If you ask me...the city of brotherly love isn't Philadelphia, it's Detroit.", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Read between the lines, you fool!", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Here's 20 bucks. Now, will you tell me where my brother lives? I don't-- Take it and tell me! He lives in Detroit.", "c": ["Homer", "Clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "'H'! Of course! That could stand for Herbert!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Hello? Hello? Stupid phone! Knock it off! I'm here! I was silent due to emotion.", "c": ["Homer", "Herb"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "But, Marge, I want to see my brother! Homer, it's an empty threat.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Sorry, sir, I didn't know it was you. That's okay. Carry on. See the way I handled that, Marge?", "c": ["Security guard", "Herb", "Herb"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "We're losing to the Japanese. Why? Unfair trade practices? Mushy one-worlders in Washington? Some gypsy curse?", "c": ["Herb", "Board members"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Why did I hire Harvard idiots? You went there. But Mommy and Daddy didn't pay my way!", "c": ["Herb", "Board member", "Herb"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Persephone? What the hell kind of name is that? She was the Greek goddess of spring and rebirth. She was carried off to Hades where she ate six pomegranates-- People don't want cars named after hungry, old, Greek broads!", "c": ["Herb", "Designer", "Herb"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "I guess they extend to when the Angles met the Saxons. When white met bread.", "c": ["Designer", "Herb"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Holy moly! The bastard's rich!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "All born in wedlock? Yes, but Bart was a close call.", "c": ["Herb", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Lisa, are you the hell-raiser your father told me about? No, I can assure you I'm not. I'm the hell-raiser.", "c": ["Herb", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Oh, what's to know? Just dive in. Catch!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "God, that new-baby smell. Homer, you're the richest man I know. I feel the same about you.", "c": ["Herb", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Wait! Let me see if I got this right. It's Christmas day, 4:00 a.m...there's a rumble in my belly-- Homer!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "'Uncle Herb' sounds so formal. Do you think you could call me 'Unky Herb'? No problemo, Unky Herb.", "c": ["Herb", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "A millionaire! I kept the wrong one.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Got him!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "You know what they cost me? There's maybe $40 worth of steel in them.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "You hear that, morons? This is why we're getting killed! Instead of listening, you're telling people what they want.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "I want to pay you $200,000 a year! And I want to let you!", "c": ["Herb", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Your brother told you to help us. Yeah, he did. Why don't you get us some coffee?", "c": ["Engineer", "Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "How could you ask for it? You don't know what it is. May I be excused?", "c": ["Herb", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "It's because you're an average schmo. All you need is self-confidence.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Hello, Einstein! I said a place to put my drink. The Super Slurpees they sell at Kwik-E-Marts are this big!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Put a horn here, here and here. I can't find it when I'm mad. And they should play 'La Cucaracha.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "You're fired! What are we paying you for? A separate soundproof dome for the kids? With restraints and muzzles. Bull's-eye!", "c": ["Homer", "Engineer", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "And when I gun the motor...I want people to think the world is coming to an end!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "To think I wasted my life in boardrooms and meetings. I could have been watching cartoons!", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "This old fool's wasted his life.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "All my life, I've looked for a car that feels right. Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft like a Nerf ball.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "$82,000! This monstrosity costs $82,000?", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Maybe I'd have been better off? Maybe? You sponge-head, of course I'd have been better off! As far as I'm concerned, I have no brother!", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Maybe he said that to make conversation.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Dad? What is it, boy? I thought your car was cool. Thanks, boy. I was waiting for someone to say that.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 16, "et": "Barts Dog Gets An F"}, {"t": "Oh, what could be more fun than today's trip to the liquor store?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Grampa smells like that trunk with the wet bottom", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "He smells like a photo lab", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Grampa smells like an old man, which is like a hospital hallway", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "My God, you're right!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Well....", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Series of rejected activity suggestions", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Like I'm gonna ruin $600 teeth on 40 cents' worth of beef", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "It's Simpson, and these aren't my pills", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Excuse me. My name is Simmons. I have the wrong pills", "c": ["Bea"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "and two of the bluest eyes I've ever seen in my life", "c": ["Bea"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Look at us. We're staring like a couple of stupid punk teenagers", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Oh, I wasn't staring, it's, uh, my lazy eye", "c": ["Bea"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Care to tip the wrist with me?", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Widower, one son, one working kidney", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Widowed, bad hip, liver disorder. You left something out: Ravishing!", "c": ["Bea"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "You'd think this would get easier!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Never fly solo again", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Oh, hello, young lady. Is your grandmother home?", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "I'd better keep my good eye on you. Damn straight.", "c": ["Bea", "Grampa"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "The battleship New Jersey. You idiot! My girlfriend, Bea.", "c": ["Grampa", "Herman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Nothing says 'I love you' better than a military antique", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Not the famous one. He wore it for a week in 1796. Before he beat the Sardinians.", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "$400. I'll give you $5. Not an offer you should make to a man with a gun.", "c": ["Herman", "Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "She can come with us. There's room for all your friends.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "She's not invisible, you idiot!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Damn these childproof doors!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "That'll be 18.50, Bwana", "c": ["Safari Attendant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Are we in Africa yet?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Let 'em sleep on their own time!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "What a wingding. This is much better than my girlfriend's party.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "I got a date with an angel. You don't know how right you are.", "c": ["Grampa", "Jasper"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "They may say she died of a burst ventricle, but I know she died of a broken heart.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Is someone talking? I didn't hear anything. Oh, no! Dad's lost his hearing! No, you idiot! I'm ignoring you!", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "There is one catch. You must spend one night in a haunted house. Just kidding.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Here's a pen with my phone number on it. It looks like a cigar. Isn't that neat?", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "I just had to tell you that you're not getting one thin dime!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "There are rubdowns, and then there are rubdowns.", "c": ["Nursing Home Administrator"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Yes, but it passes.", "c": ["Nursing Home Administrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Take me someplace fun! You're the boss. Next stop, Funsville.", "c": ["Grampa", "Limo Driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "I'm haunting a family in Texas.", "c": ["Ghost Bea"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Make other people as happy as you made me.", "c": ["Ghost Bea"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Oh, I miss him too, the big fat dickens.", "c": ["Bea's ghost"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Hey, Bea, I've got to ask you, what was death like? Not as scary as this!", "c": ["Grampa", "Ghost Bea"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Choose your corncob. En garde! Challenge accepted!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "All my precious sacks of gold couldn't buy me the joys of a family meal.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Give it to us. Bart! Forgive him. He's just a stupid little kid who says the first thing in his head. You know, he is wise.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Not since my marriage to the weather lady has this town been so consumed with rumor and innuendo.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Here's a rendering. Note the cobra wrapped around the naked chick.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Ownership is divided-- What are you doing? I dread the day when $100,000 isn't worth groveling for.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "It's pretty stupid, but so far you're the front-runner.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "I need the money to buy a baby to raise in the box. To prove what? The subject should be maladjusted and harbor resentment towards me.", "c": ["Dr. Monroe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "And I want that baseball card where the guy's flipping the bird.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "With funding, this baby could destroy an area the size of New York. I wanna help people, not kill them! Oh. The ray only has evil applications.", "c": ["Professor Frink", "Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "My wife'll be happy. She's hated this death ray from day one.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "But you can buy me a pony. You're right! I'll name her Princess.", "c": ["Lisa", "Grampa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Poor baby, been lifting your wallet?", "c": ["Retirement home resident"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Hey, mellow out, old dudes, or I'll jam this baby into a river!", "c": ["Bus Driver"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm Plato. Please partake of keno, craps and the town's loosest slots. My philosophy is: Enjoy!", "c": ["Casino Greeter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Have you seen an old man? He looks like me only wrinkled.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Homer, I think Rudyard Kipling said it best. 'If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn...' You'll be a bonehead!", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Put it all on 41. I've got a feeling. The wheel only goes to 36. Put it all on 36.", "c": ["Grampa", "Croupier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Put it all on 41. / I've got a feeling. / The wheel only goes to 36. / Put it all on 36. I've got a feeling.", "c": ["Grampa", "Dealer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "For the first time, I'm glad I had children.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "Come on in. Dignity's on me, friends.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 17, "et": "Old Money"}, {"t": "The food, the grog.... They threw a brunch with fresh fruit and the most delicious melon.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "I told them you would. Don't make me a liar!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "This is a rather shameless promotion. -Worked on me.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? -No. Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? -No!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "If I take you, will you two shut up? -Yeah! -Of course! -Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? -Yes!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Homer, that suit doesn't leave much to the imagination.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Kids, I'm moving the seat back. -It is back.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Everybody, stick together. We don't want to get separ-- D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "H-2-Whoa! -Whoa!", "c": ["Announcer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Ay caramba! Okay. Turn on the waterworks, babe. Mommy! I want my mommy!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Step aside. Spread out. Lost kid coming through. Pardon me. Moving to the front. Nice work, babe.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "The hell with this! Slide inspector coming through! Move to the right. Move! I'm here for your safety. -God bless that man!", "c": ["Homer", "Bystander"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "What? Come on, you stupid tube!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "There's a jam in Delta sector. Too big to be human. Send kids to dislodge it.", "c": ["Water Park Staff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Can't breathe. Too many children.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "On the lighter side of news, and I use the term loosely....", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Isn't that what you said before the recall of Krusty-Brand Mayonnaise?", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "That question is out of bounds. Interview's over!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Well, am I? Forgive us, but it takes time to properly sugarcoat a response.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Fifty-five? My God! Three hundred and-- A hundred and fifty? Oh, my God! Two hundred and sixty pounds! I'm a big, fat pig!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Marge, no one gains 30 pounds of bone!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "...there'll be no pork chop too succulent, no donut too tasty...no pizza too laden with delicious toppings...to prevent me from reaching my ideal weight!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "As God is my witness, I'll always be hungry again!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "D'oh! Shut up!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "This old attic's kind of spooky, isn't it? I said, isn't it? Don't ever do that again! Okay.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Homer, I found your weights. -Oh, the Glutimus Maximizer.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Who's the mop-top with the schnoz? -That's Ringo Starr.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "I guess she thought he was cute. What? Hey!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Wait, I've been setting my drinks on these things!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Hello? Hello! Hello, taste? Where are you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Another one of that bongo beater! -Mr. Schindler--", "c": ["Art Teacher", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "One might've used this canvas to paint a masterpiece. Instead, you've soiled it forever.", "c": ["Art Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "What do you think, Homer? -Do I have to do anything? -No. -Great! Fine! Go nuts!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "I yearn to tell the story of a young Hindu...pushed too far by Quik-E-Mart bandits: It's Hands off My Jerky, Turkey.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Clever title. -Thanks. My brother thought of it.", "c": ["Marge", "Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "What? The man was a fool! -I admire the force of his conviction.", "c": ["Art Teacher", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "The Heavy Hands only work if you move. -I can't. Oh, really?", "c": ["TV", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Lincoln, I've been thinking What have you been drinking? Is it water? Is it wine? Oh, my gosh, it's turpentine", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Bravo! Walk away. Now it belongs to the ages. Not another stroke! Oh, one more. That's it! Perfect!", "c": ["Professor Lombardo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Marge, please. I don't take praise very well!", "c": ["Professor Lombardo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Marge, please. I don't take praise very well!", "c": ["Professor Lombardo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "I'm a work of art! Last Supper, eat your heart out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "What matchbook art school did you flunk out of, housepainter?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "This is as half-baked as your idea about me having children.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Excellent! Once again, the wheel has turned...and Dame Fortune has hugged Montgomery Burns to her sweet bosom.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "I told you to show support. -Way to go, Dad! -You look marvelous!", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson went on a diet. -Oh, my God! And I just bought a boat!", "c": ["Customer", "Store Owner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Ring Go? -He was the drummer for the Beatles. Beatles, eh? Oh, yes. I remember their off-key caterwauling on the old Sullivan show.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Can you make me beautiful? -That won't be a problem. -I'm no matinee idol. Maybe not, but I have the gift of seeing inner beauty.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "There's an original sentiment. / Take it outside. I'm male-modeling.", "c": ["Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Something's on my leg! Get it off! -Mr. Burns, she's just a baby!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "So Ziggy goes to the repair shop. There's a sign reading 'Out of Order.' Oh, Ziggy, will you ever win?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Did he have spots all over his body? -I heard that!", "c": ["Marge", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Should I leave too, sir? Of course not, Smithers. You're like a doctor.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "He's not just my boss. He's my best friend.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "PS: Forgive the late reply.", "c": ["Ringo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Even if it takes 20 more years, I'm going to answer every one of them.", "c": ["Ringo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Marge! I'm two-thirty-nine and feeling fine I'm using the original notches!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "You're the fattest thing I've ever seen...and I've been on safari.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "If you need me, I'll be in the refrigerator.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Don't listen to him! He's a mean little SOB.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Yes, we do have hamburgers and fries in England...but we call French fries 'chips.' Love, Ringo.", "c": ["Ringo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, may I invite you to behold... Montgomery Burns?", "c": ["Museum Director"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "I guess I wanted to show that beneath Mr. Burns' fearsome head...with its cruel lips, spiteful tongue and evil brain...there was a frail, withered body, perhaps not long for this world...as vulnerable and beautiful as any of God's creatures.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "He's bad, but he'll die. So I like it.", "c": ["Art Critic"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "And incidentally, thanks for not making fun of my genitalia. I thought I did.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 18, "et": "Brush With Greatness"}, {"t": "Hear about Miss Hoover? She drank some drain cleaner. / I heard she fell down a well.", "c": ["Student 1", "Student 2"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "She's been dumped again.", "c": ["Student 3"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "I won't be staying long. I just learned I have Lyme disease.", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "When a tick begins to suck your blood... spirochetes infest your blood and spinal fluid and then the brain.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Bart Simpson, I know it's you!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "And here comes Snowball II. We kept this one. The mother ate the gray one.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Look, this is cool. When I hit reverse, I can make them go back in.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "No, you're not seeing things. This, my little friends, is a schwa.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Are you the substitute? / I am. / Are you insane? / It's how I get their attention.", "c": ["Student", "Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Howdy. I'm a Texas cowboy from 1830. / Can we play kickball? / Kickball? There ain't no kickball in 1830.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom", "Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Kickball? There ain't no kickball in 1830. Any other questions? / Shoot! It's awfully quiet.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "There are three things wrong with my costume. Name them and you get my hat.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Your belt says 'State of Texas,' but it wasn't a state until 1845. / The revolver wasn't around till 1835.", "c": ["Lisa", "Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "You seem to be Jewish. / Jewish. / Cowboys aren't Jewish.", "c": ["Lisa", "Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "For the record, there were some Jewish cowboys. Big guys who spent money freely.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "You can make fun of my name. Two suggestions are Mr. Nerd-strom and Mr. Booger-strom.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Asimov, Bester, Clarke-- / What about Bradbury? / I'm aware of his work.", "c": ["Martin", "Student", "Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Actually, the range was far from home. It was a desolate place of danger and disease.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Unlike the efficient Indians, cowboys used only the tongue of the antelope.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "What's this? Did you do it? / No! I would never do anything like that. / Can I have it? / Yes, but I didn't do it.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Class, 'The Singing Dork.' / Lisa!", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "I had a speech, but my dog ate it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Would you do it? / But where's the principal's office?", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "What did I say about encouraging him? When Bart wins approval for being a fool--", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Come on, everybody has a talent. / I wanna see yours. / I don't have one.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Chuck? / Disgusting. I love it!", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom", "Chuck"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "While I'm technically married, it hasn't been much of a marriage since Mr. Krabappel moved out.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Mrs. Krabappel, you're trying to seduce me. / Well? / I'm sorry. You're very nice, but it's the children I love.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom", "Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "When he smiles, you see these teeth. But when he laughs, you see these. The eyeteeth.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Yesterday, he read us Charlotte's Web and cried at the end. / A book made him cry!", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Your homework is always so neat. Does your father help you? / Homework's not his specialty.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom", "Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Unless the next word was 'burp,' don't bother.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "That's not enough! We demand more asbestos! More asbestos!", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Just a popularity contest? What's more important than popularity?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "I knew you had personality! They said it was hyperactivity, but I knew better!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "He says, there are no easy answers! I say, he's not looking hard enough!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "You never lose appealing to the lowest common denominator.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "I believe everything you say, with your words and Semitic good looks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Kevin's biting me. Here's a drawing of a spirochete. Love, Ralph.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "So it's up to me, is it? / Yes. / And you think that people are gonna pay you $4.50 when they don't have to?", "c": ["Homer", "Museum clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Anything you say! Good luck, lady! You'll need it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "His teeth were jagged, but he could swallow you whole.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "First, they pulled the brain out and stuffed the skull with onions.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "She sees everybody else's dad with a good education and says, 'What did I do to deserve this?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "She sees everybody else's dad... with a good education and says, 'What did I do to deserve this?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "You are smooth. I'll give you that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Can I wear jewelry? / Sure. / Dye my shoes? Paint my nails? Can we have wine? Can I have wine? Does Bart have to be there?", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Mr. Bergstrom, do you like pork chops? Oh, no, of course not.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "My Lyme disease turned out to be psychosomatic. / Does that mean you're crazy? / It means she was faking. / It was a little of both.", "c": ["Miss Hoover", "Student", "Another Student", "Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "What did he teach you? / That life is worth living.", "c": ["Miss Hoover", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Victory party under the slide!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "The train. How like him. Traditional, yet environmentally sound.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "And it's been the backbone of our country since Stanford drove in that golden spike.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "I see he touched you too.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Thanks for your vote. / Voting's for geeks! / You got that right.", "c": ["Martin", "Student", "Student 2"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "I demand a re-count. / Two for Martin. Want another re-count?", "c": ["Bart", "Election Official"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "It's the life of the substitute teacher. He's a fraud. Today he wears gym shorts, tomorrow he speaks French or runs a band saw or God knows what.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "When you're middle-class, anybody who cares will leave to help someone needier.", "c": ["Mr. Bergstrom"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "If you don't mind, I'll run alongside the train as it speeds you from my life.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "If you don't mind, I'll run alongside the train... as it speeds you from my life.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "But you, sir, are a baboon! / Me? / Yes, you! Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "The stupidest and ugliest ape of all!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Everyone special to me is under this roof.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Maybe I can't explain all this, but I can fix your dollhouse. At least I'm good at monkey work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "You know, monkey? You know what I mean? I can hold these nails in place with my tail.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "If just me, Milhouse and Lewis had voted. / Would you have gotten any money for being class president? / No. / Would you have more work? / Yeah.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Hey, thanks, monkey-man.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Holy moly, talk about parenting.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Let's just go to bed. I'm on the biggest roll of my life.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Substitute"}, {"t": "Mmm! \"Hors doovers.\"", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "-Homer! You promised. -That I wouldn't eat? Never. You lie.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "What about that bash with champagne and musicians and holy men? -That was our wedding! -Oh.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "-I want to hear your witty banter. -You can't have fun in bed. Oh, son, when you're older, you'll know better.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Oh, baby. Mmm! Yeah.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "You look swell. And the house! You've done.... Whatever!", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Anybody mind if I serve as bartender? I have a Ph.D. in mixology.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "College boy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Next time put a little alcohol in it. It has three shots of rum, a jigger of bourbon... Well, I do have a warm sense of well-being, and I'm slurring my words.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Remember when you threw up in the laundry hamper? No.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "But I don't remember you being so beautiful.", "c": ["Unknown male guest", "Selma/Patty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "A new kind of Mace? Really painful.", "c": ["Male guest"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Homer... these ice cubes are made from highly toxic chemicals. A real fly is more sanitary. The look on your face. It's priceless!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "-Do that cute thing you do. -What? -That thing you know how to do. -What? Go to bed.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Look! I'm the funniest guy in the world! Oh, Homer! You're the king.", "c": ["Homer", "Guest"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "I've been wanting to tell you off for years... I don't know you. Our wives are friends. You just met. You stink! You and your whole lousy operation stinks. I quit!", "c": ["Homer", "Unknown guest"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "-Gee, don't quit. -All right.", "c": ["Guest", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Not those peanuts. The ones at the bottom. Thanks for inviting me. I had a great time. I apologize for my husband. If you want him to live, roll him onto his stomach.", "c": ["Homer", "Maude", "Marge", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Remember, I said 'if.'", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Why? What did you do?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini. -Well said. -Thank you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "-Well said. -Thank you. -A fly! -I put it there. -You did? -I slipped it in. -Pure hilarity! -Pure Homer! The most whimsical jape of the season.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "But last night, you didn't just cross that line, you threw up on it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Oh. You mean inside, don't you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "I have as much respect for you as I ever did or ever will.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "\"Satan's Boners\"... \"Good Grief, More Satan's Boners,\" and... for teens, \"It's Not Cool To Fry In Hell.\"", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "The Lord and I can't compete with the squeaking of Homer's shoes. Why don't we wait until he sits?", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Marge! What are you doing? Are you insane?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "They couldn't call it that if it didn't have a catfish in it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Come back for more, eh?", "c": ["Babysitter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Why do you need a sitter? I'm 10 1/2! -I'll give you a taste of me hand.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Last resort. Old Grampa, the feeb. The guy who can't be counted on for nothing, nohow. Everyone's against me.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "You can smoke cigars?", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "The biggest catfish around. Weighs over 500 pounds. -Who says that? -They do.", "c": ["Gas station attendant", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "He's freakishly big, though.", "c": ["Gas attendant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, I am going to catch General Sherman.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "In these crazy times... who knows what's right or wrong? My gut's telling me: Bleed Gramps dry.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "My name's Gloria. I'm here because Johnny... hasn't been able to cut it, manwise, for some time. Not that I'd want his odor of sour defeat pressed against me.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "She keeps a filthy house and talks profanely. She's the Queen of the Harpies! -Here's your crown, Your Majesty!", "c": ["Johnny", "Gloria"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Sometimes Maude underlines passages in my Bible... because she can't find hers. -Lucky you don't keep guns.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "-She's perfect. -What are her faults? -It can be annoying.", "c": ["Homer", "Reverend", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "He blows his nose on towels and puts them back. Only a couple of times.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "He kicks me in his sleep and his toenails are long and yellow. That's all I can think of.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Out at 5. Catch Sherman at 5:30. Clean him at 6. Eat him by 6:30. Back in bed by 7 with no incriminating evidence. The perfect crime.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Go ahead, General Sherman! Waste your strength, you big, ugly catfish. I got a skillet and some butter with your name on it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "For the last time, yes!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Big blowout at casa de Simpson. The only adult is frail. Bart's joint. Two-ish. Be there or be square.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Tell my friends? All right. But I've got some funky friends.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "As a trained marriage counselor... this is the first time I've told a partner they were right. It's all his fault.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "-Any chicks over 8? -Not yet, but the afternoon is young.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Thanks for coming. Nice tie, Nelson. It's your dad's.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "It's your dad's.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "It's remorse, you burlesque of irrepressible youth. -How do you make it go away? -Grab a brush... and clean faster than you ever have before.", "c": ["Grampa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "-To who? -Those weirdos in the store!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "I fought it for six hours. One word and I toss it back. You're telling me our marriage is in trouble?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Pretending to cry. That's right! You heard me! Pretending to cry! I can turn it on and off like a faucet.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "\"I'm crying. I'm so sad.\"", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "His name was Homer. Seven feet tall. Arms like tree trunks. Eyes like steel, cold and hard. Had a shock of hair, red. Like the fires of hell.", "c": ["Gas station attendant"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 20, "et": "The War Of The Simpsons"}, {"t": "Good comics? You only buy Casper the Wimpy Ghost.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Equating friendliness with wimpiness... will keep you from achieving popularity.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "I think Casper's the ghost of Richie Rich. -Hey, they do look alike. -How did Richie die?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Perhaps his materialism led him to take his life.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "He knocks a guy into the sun and says, 'Hot enough for you?'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "I stand corrected.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-Who are you dressed as? -I'm Bartman. -Never heard of him, full price. -Rip-off.", "c": ["Convention worker", "Bart", "Convention worker", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Your spirits have imparted a glow to this old warhorse. I feel like Radiation Man!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "That's Radioactive Man, jerk!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "I stand corrected.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Get that punk's name. No one makes a fool of me.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Has anyone turned in a left Vulcan ear? We've got a utility belt, tricorders, a light saber.... Sorry, kid.", "c": ["Convention worker"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "My own idea for a comic book. It's about a dude who drives a school bus by day... but by night, fights vampires in a postapocalyptic war zone!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "The guy who played Fallout Boy on TV? I guess he wasn't killed in Vietnam.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Laramie cigarettes give me the steady nerves I need to combat evil.", "c": ["TV Radioactive Man"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Wish I was old enough to smoke Laramies.", "c": ["TV Fallout Boy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Who knows? I did play Rum Tum Tugger in Cats. Anybody see it?", "c": ["Buddy Hodges"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Does Dirk Richter's ghost haunt the bordello where his body was found?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Dirk Richter was a beautiful man. Can't you vultures leave him alone?", "c": ["Buddy Hodges"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "It is, my lad. But I'll let you have it for 100.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "But I must. I never knew why God put me on this Earth. Now, I know. To buy that comic book.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Your emotion is out of place.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "I never knew what Superman saw in her. Give me Wonder Woman. And that golden lariat. She can tie me up any time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-Homer! -Just kidding, Marge.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "You really are a sport, Dad, taking us to a fine restaurant like that.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "For a comic? Who drew it, Micha-malangelo?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Well, T.S.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "No! Look, we all know that usually when you bug me I give in. I'm not mad at you. Shows you been paying attention.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-Okay! -I win! In your face! Yeah! How do you like them apples?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Don't gloat, Homer.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "When I was your age, I wanted a child-sized electric light bulb oven.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-We'll give you half our allowance. -If you'll be our slave.", "c": ["Patty/Selma", "Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-This gives us more free time. -Let's take up smoking.", "c": ["Patty/Selma", "Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-She means you should get a job. -Me?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "I didn't realize it, but a part of my childhood had slipped away, forever.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-Shall I apply this to the cost of a squishy? -No. I need the dime.", "c": ["Apu", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "All those coins were worth three cents? Let the good times roll.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Now you look pathetic.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Form a line. Cheap beer and a sympathetic ear.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-You got a liquor license? -My dog ate it.", "c": ["Police officer", "Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "My beer, my beer, my beautiful beer!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "You must be Bert Simpson.", "c": ["Mrs. Glick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "I've got dried apricots, almond paste, sauerkraut candy.", "c": ["Mrs. Glick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "He was killed in the Great War. Held a grenade too long.", "c": ["Mrs. Glick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "This one's for you Kaiser Bill, from the boys in D Company: Johnny, Harrison, Brooklyn Bob, and yeah, even Reggie. He ain't so stuck-up once you get to--", "c": ["Mrs. Glick as Asa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "This one's for you Kaiser Bill, from the boys in D Company: Johnny, Harrison, Brooklyn Bob, and yeah, even Reggie. He ain't so stuck-up once you get to--", "c": ["Asa Glick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-No, thanks. -Boys love candy!", "c": ["Bart", "Mrs. Glick"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Filthy, but genuinely arousing.", "c": ["Mrs. Glick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "They've never improved on iodine.", "c": ["Mrs. Glick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-She doesn't have anybody. -There's a reason.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "I'll sludge you, you old bat.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Some old lady thing nobody's heard about for 50 years?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "It was my wedding dress. But then, I dyed it black and it became my mourning dress.", "c": ["Mrs. Glick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "No, not the iodine. Burn the germs off with a torch. Amputate my arm. But not the--", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-Here we are, two quarters. -Two quarters?", "c": ["Mrs. Glick", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "All right, off you go to spend it on penny whistles and MoonPies.", "c": ["Mrs. Glick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "MoonPies, my butt.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-Really? -No.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Working's for chumps. I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "No way. What do you want? I don't need this. I've got a master's degree in folklore.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "I'd have thought an atomic bomb would kill him. -Now you know better.", "c": ["Martin", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-It smells like my grandpa. -Turn the page, Bart.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Martin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "I'll take 1 to 3, Milhouse will have 4 to 6... and Bart will take 7 to 9. -Wait a minute, what about zero?", "c": ["Martin", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "In the event of a zero... possession will be determined by Rock, Scissor, Paper.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Nice try. It almost worked, but tonight the comic book stays here.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "We want it to last forever... so the last one alive can be buried with it.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-What do you mean, the last one alive? -I meant years from now!", "c": ["Bart", "Martin"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Well, nobody makes a sap out of Bartholomew J. Simpson.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-Tell him what we do with squealers. -It's worse than when you have to pee?", "c": ["Bart", "Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "It's not that far to the ground. The rains probably softened it up.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "If you hadn't tied me up, I could be saving the comic.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "I wanted Carl Yastrzemski with the big sideburns!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "-What's your point? -Nothing. It just ticks me off.", "c": ["Martin", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 21, "et": "Three Men And A Comic Book"}, {"t": "Joke's on them. If the core explodes, there won't be any power to light that sign.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "He's never late. Something's wrong. Nobody leaves \"Diamond Joe\" Quimby holding the bag!", "c": ["Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "No quack sawbones is going to apply his leeches to me.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "He's suffering from what we call hypohemia. It's a lack of blood. Damn it, I know what it is! What can we do about it?", "c": ["Doctor", "Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Skip it. Just leave me enough to get home.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "I'm B-positive. Damn this gutter blood! Smithers, don't feel so bad. After all, that kidney you donated to me really hit the spot.", "c": ["Smithers", "Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "I'd give, except for one thing. What? I don't wanna.", "c": ["Worker", "Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "You don't wanna cash in? That's why you losers are stuck in this crummy job. I'm your supervisor. Sorry, sir.", "c": ["Supervisor", "Workers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Lemur. Lemur. Zebu. Zebu.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "An ox with a hump and a dewlap. Hump and dewlap. Hump and dewlap.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "My shoe size? 4-B. How many teeth do I have? Sixteen. Ring? Don't wear them. But three. Allergies? Butterscotch. And? Monster makeup.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "How many hairs on my head? Homie, you have lots of hair.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "I don't have to give blood. I have rights. Yeah, the right to remain silent.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "You know 'Hercules and the Lion'? Is it a Bible story? Probably.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "How did a lion get rich? It was the olden days!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Otto-man! You work here? All my friends are in school... so I got a job as a bloodletting tech-dude!", "c": ["Homer", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Charles Montgomery Burns: American... and patriot. American patriot.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "O, tyrant, hear his mighty name and quake! Smithers, I'm back! Top of the morning to ye!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Hey, there, Mr. Brown Shoes. How about that local sports team, huh?", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "I tried every tincture, poultice, tonic and medicine there is. And all I really needed was the blood of a young boy.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "And all I really needed was the blood of a young boy.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "The son of Homer, a stiff in 7-G.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "D'oh! It's just a card!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Is that some way to show your gratitude? No gold, no diamonds. No rubies, not even a lousy card! Wait, there was a card. That's what got me so mad!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "You're living in a world of make-believe. With bells and magic frogs with funny hats.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. You stink!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "You are a senile, bucktoothed old mummy... with bony girl arms and you smell like.... An elephant's butt? An elephant's butt.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "You always do that hand thing. And it usually works.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Think very carefully. Where did you see it last? The last place I saw it... was in my hand... as I was shoving it into the mailbox.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "The last place I saw it... was in my hand... as I was shoving it into the mailbox.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "D'oh! Why did you do that? There were things that had to be said. And I know you. There was no guarantee you'd still be mad this morning.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "I'll show you mad in the morning! Homer, you encouraged him. You should be strangling yourself!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "But don't other people have mail? So they won't get letters. You know the letters people write. 'Dear somebody... how is so-and-so? Blah, blah, blah. Yours truly, Some Bozo.' Big loss.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "God! Are you planning to water the mail? It wouldn't do any good to run because you know my name, right? That's right. Well, I'm still gonna run!", "c": ["Mailman", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Have you slept with anyone famous? Countess von Zeppelin and l-- What in blaze--?", "c": ["Ghostwriter", "Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Listen to me, you bargain-basement Baudelaire! I'm not a starlet who can't string two words together. I can write this thing myself! You're fired!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. What's your first name? I don't know.", "c": ["Burns", "Postal Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Oh, look, Maggie! What is that? Dodecahedron! Dodecahedron!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Give a fake name. Homer Simpson.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "I could crush him like an ant. But it would be easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until.... What the hell, I'll just crush him.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Senile, eh? Bucktoothed, am I? Bony arms, are they? Liver spots, did I? Shameless, will you?", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Now that's odd. I've just robbed a man of his livelihood and yet I feel empty. Tell you what, have him beaten to a pulp!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "You can move in with your sisters and raise the kids and I'll... die in a gutter. It's practical and within our means.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Beat him up. You got it. Wait. What is it? Nothing. Wait. What? Beat, but... don't kick. Got it. Wait. What?", "c": ["Barney", "Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "What did Homie do anyway? He saved Mr. Burns' life.", "c": ["Marge", "Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. But I just couldn't hurt Homer. He saved you. I see.", "c": ["Smithers", "Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "You've been the sober ying to my raging yang.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "You've been the sober ying to my raging yang.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Is Mike there? Last name, Rotch. Hold on, I'll check. Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?", "c": ["Bart", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "One of these days, I'm gonna catch you... and carve my name on your back with an ice pick.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "One of these days, I'm gonna catch you... and carve my name on your back with an ice pick.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "We'll get the Simpsons an extravagant present. An unthinkable, utterly impossible present! A frabulous, grabulous, zip-zoop-zabulous present!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "A pool table? I'm not going to turn his home into a saloon.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Don't you dare sully this moment with your price-taggery.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Have you beaten to a bloody pulp?", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Wow! A crowbar! It's to open the crate, stupid.", "c": ["Bart", "Burns"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Wow! A big, ugly head! D'oh!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Wow! A big, ugly head! D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "This gruesome customer is Xtapolapocetl, the god of war.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "No, Maggie, not Aztec. Olmec. Olmec.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "What does it do? Nothing. Really, what does it do? Whatever it does, it's doing it now.", "c": ["Homer", "Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "I guess the moral is, no good deed goes unrewarded. Wait a minute. If I hadn't written that letter... we would've gotten nothing. Well.... The moral is, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Perhaps there is no moral. Exactly! Just stuff that happened.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Perhaps there is no moral. Exactly! Just stuff that happened.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 2, "e": 22, "et": "Blood Feud"}, {"t": "Dad died. / No, no, he's fine. / What do you know? / I'm relieved.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Everything changes when you hit the big 1-0. Your legs go. Candy doesn't taste as good.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "This old-timer does ramble on sometimes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "If you haven't asked your parents' permission-- naughty, naughty... but Krusty forgives you.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "I tried to stop her, but she overpowered me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Pink?! I can't wear pink to work. Everybody wears white. I'm not popular enough to be different.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "It's all over, Marge! It's all over!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Ah, my lucky red hat. Clean as a whistle. You did this to me!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Why is that man in pink?! That's Homer Simpson-- a boob from Sector 7-G.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Judging by his outlandish attire... he's some sort of freethinking anarchist.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Yes, these color monitors... have already paid for themselves.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Just because I'm wearing pink... doesn't mean I'm some kind of pink doughnut-eater... although it is tempting.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Spare me the tiresome antics of the Simpson family.", "c": ["Dr. Marvin Monroe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "20 simple questions that will determine... just how crazy or 'meshuggener' someone is.", "c": ["Dr. Marvin Monroe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "All right, all right. I'll get Lisa to do it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Why, oh, why is my cat dead? Couldn't that Chrysler hit me instead?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "No deal. / Dad, you should do this.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "It's no different... than the time I let you vote for me. Remember that absentee ballot?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Anyone order a hot dog?", "c": ["Dog on Fire video contestant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Do you hear voices? I'm hearing one now, though I'm trying to watch TV.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Are you quick to anger? Bart, shut up or I'll shut you up! Yes.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Do you wet your pants? Even the best of us has an occasional accident.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Careful, men. He wets his pants.", "c": ["Orderly"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "We have a very simple method. Whoever has that stamp on his hand is insane.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "I'm a very popular entertainer. Of course, I've heard of you. You'd have to be living under a rock-- What's your name? Michael Jackson. Doesn't ring a bell.", "c": ["Michael Jackson", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Heard of MTV or Motown? No. Beat It? You beat it. Thriller? What was that?", "c": ["Michael Jackson", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "How do your feet do that? The moonwalk? No, your feet!", "c": ["Homer", "Michael Jackson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "I wore a pink shirt. I understand. People thought I dressed crazy. What did you wear? One white glove... covered with rhinestones.", "c": ["Homer", "Michael Jackson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Five times nine. Forty-five. Wow! This guy is the chief.", "c": ["Floyd", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Joe's Crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "If you're really Michael Jackson... who were your last four Grammy dates? Brooke Shields, Diana Ross, Emmanuel Lewis and Bubbles.", "c": ["Bart", "Michael Jackson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "You don't want him to get a lobotomy, do you? Hmm... lobotomy.", "c": ["Michael Jackson", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Mother was right.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "I said crazy house! Poorhouse. Crazy house! Poorhouse.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Hot cakes... football... boobies-- Bubbles, it's going to be a long night.", "c": ["Homer", "Michael Jackson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Was the door locked?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Was it raining?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Were you out of gas?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "You mean there really is a Bart? Good Lord!", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "In 1979, I got real depressed... when my Off the Wall album... just got one lousy Grammy nomination.", "c": ["Michael Jackson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff'em, we stuff'em.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "I'm a vegetarian, and I don't drink. Are you sure you're here voluntarily?", "c": ["Michael Jackson", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Can you keep a secret? No. Michael Jackson... is coming to my house!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "will henceforth be known as the Michael Jackson Expressway.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "He's 300 pounds. He's white. He's dressed without flair.", "c": ["Crowd member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Don't ever show your face around here again, you tool.", "c": ["Crowd member"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Perhaps, if a professional so advises... I will give you a hug... at some far distant family reunion... but rest assured, it will be purely for show.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Hey, Looney Tunes, this is what Michael Jackson looks like. You look like a big, fat mental patient.", "c": ["Kid", "Michael Jackson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Although I know you're looking at me, I would look exactly the same, even if you weren't.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "This is my real voice. I'm Leon Compowski. I'm a bricklayer from New Jersey.", "c": ["Leon/Michael Jackson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "All my life I was angry, until one day... I talked like this. All of a sudden... everybody was smiling at me.", "c": ["Leon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "To make a tired point, which one of us is truly crazy?", "c": ["Leon"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "Not me. I got this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 1, "et": "Stark Raving Dad"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "One million dollars. I'm rich!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "See where it says 'Void, void, void' and 'This is not a check'? 'Cash value 1/20th of a cent.' 'Mr. Banker, do not honor.' - Shut up.", "c": ["Bank clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Every time you get a million dollars, something queers the deal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I don't think real checks have exclamation points.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Marge, I never read a magazine in my life, and I'm not gonna start now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Hey, a cartoon!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Ain't it the truth? No, it's not the truth, Homer. It's well-documented that women are safer drivers than men.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge, cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Hey, you don't wanna eat? What you do, get one of them stomach staples?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "As Tolstoy said in Quotable Notables... 'Give me learning, sir, and you may keep your black bread.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Simpson, eh? How very strange. His job description clearly specifies an illiterate.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "They take hundreds of magazines, filter out the crap... and leave you with something that fits right in your front pocket.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Homer, he obviously got out alive if he wrote the article. Don't be so-- Oh, you're right.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "That reminds me. 'Seven ways to spice up your marriage.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "'You have a nice body... and if you'd like to see me in a costume, you have only to ask.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Wow! Little meat loaf men!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Mom, it's a nice thought, but we both know that this is the pony to bet on.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "He'd say, uh... 'Think of a better opening.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Do kids still use that word 'cool'?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Sweetheart, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that magazine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "six white stripes... seven red stripes and a hell of a lot of stars", "c": ["Essay contestant"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "A little too good for an eight-year-old. Me thinks I detect the sickly scent of the daddy.", "c": ["Contest judge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Could you touch your nose for me? Hmm.", "c": ["Judge", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Lisa, after meeting your father... I've decided to award you an additional five points.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Wa-hoo! Who would have guessed... reading and writing would pay off?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "No, thank you. I'd rather push this button. Oops! - No! - We're all gonna die!", "c": ["Bart", "Pilot"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Look, Marge, that guy has the same last name we do.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Oh, boo yourself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Shoe goes on, shoe goes off, shoe goes on, shoe goes off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Hey, I call first bedsies. - Bart, there's no such thing as first bedsies. You just made that up.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "What the-- D'oh! Stupid welcoming mint!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Wake-up call? It's 2:00 a.m. - Sorry, fatso.", "c": ["Hotel operator", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "That thing is really, really, really... good.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "What does the 'I' stand for again? - Oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Guide"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "'On this spot, Richard Nixon bowled back-to-back 300 games.' - Yeah, right.", "c": ["Tour guide", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Barbara Bush! Oh, you have those damn badges.", "c": ["Barbara Bush"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Lousy, cheap country.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "As you can see in our artist's rendition, it's full of old growth... just aging and festering away.", "c": ["Lobbyist"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Offer me a bribe? Oh, what is it?", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Tot shot always plays in the sticks.", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "If I ever vote, it'll be for him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Later, she appeared on the highly unpopular 75-cent piece.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "'I will iron your sheets when you iron out... the inequities in your labor laws.' - Amen, sister.", "c": ["Historical display", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Well, let me put it this way, Jerry. Timber!", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Mr. Lincoln-- I need your advice. What can I do to make this a better country? Is this a good time to buy a house? I can't get my boy to brush.", "c": ["Various tourists", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I never did anything important-- just the Declaration of Independence... the Louisiana Purchase, the dumbwaiter--", "c": ["Jefferson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Cool! A ruckus.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "And this will be one nation under the dollar... with liberty and justice for none.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "And this will be one nation under the dollar... with liberty and justice for none.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "A little girl... is losing faith in democracy. Good Lord!", "c": ["Senator", "Aide"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Teddy who?", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "You work fast. I work for Uncle Sam.", "c": ["Lisa", "FBI Agent"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Your bosses? - Yep. All 250 million of them.", "c": ["Reporter", "FBI agent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Where else but in America-- or possibly Canada-- could our family find such opportunity?", "c": ["Contest winner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I couldn't think of a nice way to say America stinks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I couldn't think of a nice way to say America stinks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I can't believe it. The system works.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I can't believe it. The system works.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I can't believe it. The system works.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 2, "et": "Mr Lisa Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Homer, you silly goose. The weed-whacker's just for the edges. You'll be out here all day.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "put the heat to the meat. Nummy-nummy-num!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "The Flanders are having a beef-a-thon! Incredible Nedibles! Maudacious vittles!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Why doesn't he just say so?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "I don't care if he is the nicest guy in the world. He's a jerk. End of story.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Marge Simpson, president of the 'We Love Flanders' fan club", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Fee, fi, fo, fum! I smell the potatoes au gratin of Marge Simpson", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "there was some important work at the plant that only he could take care of", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "the Rough Riders who scored only four rouges all last season", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "What if they came back and I was dead from not eating? They'd cry their eyes out", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "What is it, boy? What? Mmm. Barbecue.", "c": ["Homer", "Santa's Little Helper"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm back. Nice seeing you. Hey! Oh! Hey, hey, Homer!", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "You lie like a fly with a booger in its eye", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "The fly was funny. The booger was the icing on the cake.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "'sinister' being Latin for left-handed", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "That was a joke?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Here's the noose I had to wear for ten years", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "The Leftorium", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "It sounds like a pretty dumb idea to me", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Fun? Where is this store, Flanders? The merry old land of Oz?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "I've got an ambition to do some wishin'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Wouldn't it, Flanders?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "TV gives so much and asks so little. It's a boy's best friend.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Those children's parents... should be ashamed of themselves.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "I cannot tell a lie. This is a great deal. Hohh!", "c": ["Akira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "See, you knock TV, and then it helps you out. I think you owe somebody a little apology.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Oh, a little pokey... but things are going to pick up.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Absitively posolutely", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "one of the mall security guards took a long look at a left-handed ice cream scoop", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchukus?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Pay money to read books. The hell with this.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "No, I do not know what 'schadenfreude' is. Please tell me because I'm dying to know.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Those Germans have a word for everything", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Don't use the Touch of Death on your sister", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "We learned how to rip a man's heart out and show it to him before he dies", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "That will learn them", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Left-handed pinking shears. / Pinking shears? / Let's go to the food court and steal... some baked potatoes.", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "I hear you validate parking tickets without purchase", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Or as we say around here, 'left as rain'", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "He'd have a great job if he didn't own the place", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Hey, you're that first apple I didn't want. That sinks it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Nobody will take away your precious apples", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "My kingdom for a left-handed can opener!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Homer keep all money. Bye-bye, Neddy", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Sounds scrum-diddley-umptious, dear old duddely-doodely", "c": ["Maude"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "you scavenger of human misery", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Damned right-handed ledgers. I can't write in these things", "c": ["Debt Collector"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I'm Homer Simpson. Ned Flanders lives over there. / Oh. / Flanders is in debt? Are you sure? / We don't make mistakes.", "c": ["Homer", "Chuck Ellis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "This is my brother, and he knows karate", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "It's funny how two wrongs sometimes make a right", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "that nice fellow from the bank-- who was only doing his job-- came and locked it up", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "I sold it to you for seven cents", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "Kiss me-- I'm left-handed", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "The worm has turned, has it not, my tin-plated friend?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 3, "et": "When Flanders Failed"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "You ate my homework? I didn't know dogs really did that.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "But I'm only five... 10, 20... 40 minutes? That's pretty damn late.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Here's a whole box of unsealed envelopes for the P.T.A. You're making me lick envelopes?", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Licking envelopes can be fun. Just make a game of it. What kind of game? Well, see how many you can lick in an hour. Then try to break that record. Sounds like a pretty crappy game.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "I'm Troy McClure. You probably remember me from such films as The Revenge of Abe Lincoln and The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "In those days... instead of being wrapped in a hygienic package... chocolate was wrapped in a tobacco leaf. Instead of being pure chocolate like we have today it was mixed with shredded tobacco and they didn't eat it--they smoked it.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "You didn't believe me when I said it would be fun, did you? No, thir.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Tan I doe now? What? 'Tan... I... doe... now?'", "c": ["Bart", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Aaaaah! Ugh!... Aah!... Unh!... Son of a b... Oof!. What next? Uh-oh.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Pick a horse, kid. Shelbyville Downs, third race. Make it good. Eat my shorts. Eat My Shorts.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Hey, wait a minute, you little punk! That's the fifth race. I said the third race. Don't have a cow. Don't Have a Cow in the third. Put a deuce on him.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "It's Suffering Succotash by a neck... over Yabba-Dabba-Do, Ain't I a Stinker, and That's All Folks.", "c": ["Race Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "I like this kid. And we were gonna shoot him.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Su-perb.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "What does it pay? Thirty bucks a week. I make more than that.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "It's funny because it's true. Well observed.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "What's a truck? Don't play dumb with me.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Bart! Have you started smoking? No. Don't lie to me, boy. Uh-huh! Cigarettes. Just as I thought. My boss said his warehouse was full. Yeah, right.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "I'm going to teach you a lesson. I'm going to stand here and watch you smoke every one of those cigarettes. Then maybe you'll learn.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "You look good with that cigarette--kind of sophisticated. Son, I'll never doubt you again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "the driver has been instructed to ignore all stop signs and crosswalks.", "c": ["Jack Larson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city and I am the... Uh, what cures cancer?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Bart, um... is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family? No. For a large starving family is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread? Uh-uh. And what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes. I guess that's okay.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Give me three fingers of milk, Ma.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "If my plant pollutes the water and poisons the town by your logic, that would make me a criminal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Our cover's blown. Let's roll. See? It was all your imagination.", "c": ["Police Surveillance", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Read 'em and weep, boys. Another pair of sixes. Beats me. I was bluffing. You win again, Homer.", "c": ["Homer", "Mobsters"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "The only thing going on down there was male bonding. More stink lines, boys.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "You didn't see nothing. Now, beat it.", "c": ["Mobster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "What have I done to deserve this flat, flavorless Manhattan?", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "The kiss of death. That's all I need.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Some large men to see you, sir. I don't have an appointment with any large men.", "c": ["Secretary", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "And how did you get past the hall monitors?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "I thought I found him, but it was only a cat.", "c": ["Searcher"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "I see wedding bells for Vanna White and Teddy Kennedy. If we could just stick to Principal Skinner. Willie Nelson will astound his fans by swimming the English Channel. Really? Willie Nelson?", "c": ["Psychic", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Hey! Look at me! I'm Skinner's body. That is not funny.", "c": ["Student", "Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Hey! Look at me! I'm Skinner's body. / That is not funny. / I heard he's buried under his parking spot. / I heard he was ground into hamburger for lunch. / I heard Bart had him killed.", "c": ["Student", "Mrs. Krabappel", "Students"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "You're engaged in speculation. I know the law. You can't prove anything.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "You killed me, Bart! You k-k-killed me, B-Bart.", "c": ["Skinner's Ghost"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Reverend Lovejoy! You've come to comfort me? / Yes, Bart. There, there. / Kill my boy.", "c": ["Bart", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "What's a murder?", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Lionel Hutz, attorney. I'll be defending you on the charge of... murder one! Wow. Even if I lose I'll be famous.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "That Simpson boy is looking at 180 years. Thank God we live in a country so hysterical over crime that a child can be tried as an adult.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Then who is the kingpin, the capo di tutti capi? That's the guy. Hey! Forgive me, Don Bartholomew.", "c": ["Prosecutor", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "You've been his father for ten years. Do you really think he could be the leader of a murderous criminal syndicate? Well, not the leader... I mean... Oh, it's true, it's true! All the pieces fit.", "c": ["Lawyer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "I made a game of seeing how many times I could bounce the ball, and breaking that record.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Princess Opal? I'm afraid it's splitsville for Delta Burke and Major Dad. They seemed so happy.", "c": ["Princess Opal", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Get bent. I deserve that.", "c": ["Bart", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "I used to think your gang was cool... but now I learned that crime doesn't pay. / Yeah, you're right.", "c": ["Bart", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Blood on the Blackboard: The Bart Simpson Story starring Richard Chamberlain as Principal Skinner Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony Jane Seymour as the woman he loved and Neil Patrick Harris as Bart Simpson.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "Where do you want it, Skinner? Not smart.", "c": ["TV Bart", "TV Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "When do we get the check for this? They changed it just enough so they don't have to pay us. You know who the real crooks are-- those sleazy Hollywood producers.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 4, "et": "Bart The Murderer"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "S.A.T. scores are declining at a slower rate", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "This paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs, factoids and Larry King", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "This is the only paper in America not afraid to tell the truth--that everything is just fine", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Eww. Come on. Open it! Open it!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Whenever you want to talk to me... call me on the phone... and tell me to turn on my walkie-talkie", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Hey, look at that dog. Isn't that something? Wow! Brown.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Don't learn anything... I wouldn't learn", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Time to pay... for your two days of debauchery... you hung-over drones", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "T.G.I.M., sir", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Who the devil is Hercules? My Yorkshire terrier. He's tiny. You know, it's a joke.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Well, don't you know how to paint the town red", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Give the great unwashed... a pair of oversized breasts and a happy ending... and they'll oink for more", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "What a movie! And that blonde-- does she have assets! Heh-heh-heh!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Eww! Lemon. Ugh! Cherry. Ooh... custard. Mmm... purple!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Got a bad case of the munchies, man. Time for a heat-lamp dog", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Did you know there's a child in your bus? Good thing you warned me. I was heading to Mexico.", "c": ["Apu", "Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Actually, he was hired under 'Project Bootstrap.' Thank you, President Ford.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Whosever problem this is, I'm sure they can handle it", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "It's my problem! We're doomed!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "My old lady ran off and married my brother. It hurt, but it's a month later, and I'm sleeping on their couch", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Mr. Devereaux, I can't work under these conditions. Have it your way, baby. You're fired. Oh, Avery. Call me Mr. Devereaux.", "c": ["Soap opera characters"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "We prefer to call it an 'unrequested fission surplus'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "It's as fat as a phone book!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Who'd have thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "There may never be another time to say... I love you, sir. Oh, hot dog. Thank you for making my last few moments socially awkward.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "When they look up 'stupid' in a dictionary... there will be a picture of me", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Oh, the next time there's a canned food drive... I'll give the poor something they'd actually like... instead of old lima beans and pumpkin mix", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "This button controls the emergency override. In a meltdown, push this button, and only this button. Ooh, a side. - Simpson! - What? You see which button? Yeah, yeah, push the button. Got it.", "c": ["Instructor", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "One potato, two potato-- No, wait. Bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish. How many pieces do you wish?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "I guess there's nothing left... but to kiss my sorry ass good-bye. May I, sir?", "c": ["Homer", "Smithers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eeny, meeny, miney... ...moe.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Three loins in the fountain", "c": ["Wheel of Fortune contestant"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "It seems a single wayward crow... flew into our warning system", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Now we're even for your party", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "A nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman-- you just read the manual and press the right button", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "A congratulatory phone call from Earvin 'Magic' Johnson?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Magic, what if people think a guy's a hero... but he was just lucky? Sooner or later people like that are exposed as frauds.", "c": ["Homer", "Magic Johnson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Tastes so bitter, it's like ashes. It's actually more of a honey glaze. Maybe you ate a clove.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Looking at you with quiet awe. As long as it's quiet.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Help them find their eanae-eharatou-nah-duleve. Their eanae-haratou-doola what? We want you to give them a pep talk... that turns them from donut-eating goof-offs... into Homer Simpsons.", "c": ["Aristotle", "Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Let's go throw rocks at that hornets' nest", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "He must have gotten that from your little boy... because they certainly don't say that word on TV", "c": ["Mrs. Van Houten"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "In the Christmas pageant, they're always sheep", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "I pictured everyone in their underwear-- the judge, the jury, my lawyer-- everybody. Did it work? I'm a free man.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "You are not workers. You are a pack... of mangy, cud-chewing, ugly goats", "c": ["Aristotle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe. Catch a tiger by toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eeny, meeny, miney... moe.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Do you even know what button you pushed?! Sure-- moe.", "c": ["Aristotle", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Is Homer a hero? The answer is no. I'm Kent Brockman and that was 'My Two Cents.'", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "It seems the chief had gone to the bank... to cash in his penny jar. ...48, 49, 50. What the-- ? Good work, Chief. Just doing my job.", "c": ["Reporter", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Yes, it seems the chief pulled a Homer Simpson of his own", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Looks like I pulled a Homer", "c": ["Pretzel vendor"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Looks like I pulled a Homer", "c": ["Magic Johnson"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Looks like I pulled a Homer.", "c": ["Magic Johnson"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "Our dad! Now he belongs to the ages", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Defined"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "That's all the time we have for today. I'd like to thank Sideshow Mel... Corporal Punishment, Tina Ballerina... and from Knots Landing, Miss Donna Mills. Oh, she was a sport.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "You've got a merchandising meeting. - Cancel it! - Therapist? Cancel it! The line on the Giants is 5\u00bd. Put a dime on it.", "c": ["Krusty", "Lois Pennycandy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "'Thank you' dinner with Bart Simpson? I don't know Bart Simpson. The boy who saved you from jail. Well, we made a terrible, terrible mistake.", "c": ["Krusty", "Lois Pennycandy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "It's Miss Pennycandy, I can assure you.", "c": ["Lois Pennycandy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "How can he hurt someone who loves him so? Oh, Mrs. Simpson... I've wasted my womanhood asking that same question.", "c": ["Marge", "Lois Pennycandy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Lousy mildew!", "c": ["Lois Pennycandy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "How many Krusty autographs do you want? A hundred. Done.", "c": ["Lois Pennycandy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "I always suspected that nothing in life mattered. Now I know for sure. Get bent. Bart Simpson.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Ooh, SEX-CHAT!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Hello? Are there any women here? Hello?! Are you beautiful? Do I sound beautiful?! This is not as hot as I had anticipated.", "c": ["Homer", "Other caller"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Hey! Not the face!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Bart, wipe your feet. Why bother? They'll just get dirty again.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Milhouse, you can come in, and drop the charade.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Go wait in the car.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Aw! We could have seen a monkey.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Baruch ata Adonai... Eloheinu melech ha-olam... ha-motzi lechem min ha-aretz.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "A Jewish entertainer? Get out of here!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Mel Brooks is Jewish?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Poor Krusty. He's like a velvet painting come to life.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Hey, Krusty, you going to finish that meat loaf, or what?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps. Don't worry. I don't even like using the bathroom after you.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "A rabbi never exaggerates. A rabbi composes, he creates thoughts... he tells stories that may never have happened... but he does not exaggerate.", "c": ["Rabbi Krustofski"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "A rabbi never exaggerates. A rabbi composes, he creates thoughts... he tells stories that may never have happened... but he does not exaggerate.", "c": ["Rabbi Krustofski"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "If you were a musician or a jazz singer... this I could forgive, but this?", "c": ["Rabbi Krustofski"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Do you think about your father a lot? All the time. Except when I'm at the track.", "c": ["Lisa", "Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Milhouse, know any 'knock, knock' jokes?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Hello? Hello?! Anybody there? I hear a phone ring... I'm listening, and there's no talking. Why would they call... if they don't want to talk?", "c": ["Rabbi Krustofski"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Didn't Itchy Junior look happy playing with his father? And didn't Scratchy Junior look happy playing with his dad... until they got run over by the thresher?", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "For the love of God, cut to the commercial!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "I do a radio call-in show with him... every Sunday night. - Really? - I didn't know that. I mention it in my sermon every week.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Oh, that radio show. It's all the kids talk about on Monday at school.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Let me check my non-Christian Rolodex.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "I have no son! Great, we came all this way, and it's the wrong guy. I didn't mean that literally!", "c": ["Rabbi Krustofski", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "There's all kinds of mishagoyim.", "c": ["Rabbi Krustofski"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Yiddle, my man, you're a genius. I love my work.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Just get us another bowl of complimentary pickles.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "I want a nice sandwich, but the Joey Bishop-- too fatty. The Jackie Mason-- makes me gassy. The Bruce Willis? I don't like his work. What is this-- a Krusty the Clown? Ham, sausage and bacon, with a smidge of mayo. What? On white.", "c": ["Rabbi Krustofski", "Waitress"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "You think you're funny? 50 million Frenchmen can't be wrong.", "c": ["Rabbi Krustofski", "Waiter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "What's the one thing rabbis prize above everything else? Those stupid hats?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "The Jews are a swinging bunch of people. I mean, I've heard of persecution... but what they went through is ridiculous. But the great thing is after thousands of years... of holding on and fighting... they finally made it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "The Jews are a swinging bunch of people. I mean, I've heard of persecution... but what they went through is ridiculous. But the great thing is after thousands of years... of holding on and fighting... they finally made it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "The candy man? Maybe I'm completely upside down on this whole problem.", "c": ["Rabbi Krustofski"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Hey, such a filthy habit. Who asked you?", "c": ["Rabbi Krustofski", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "I'm not doing the spotlight bit.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "I got something in my eye. Take my hankie. Eeyugh!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Oy, a klop tsu deer! Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 6, "et": "Like Father Like Clown"}, {"t": "Before last year's Halloween show... I warned you not to let your children watch... but you did anyway. Well, this year's episode is even worse.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Well, if you didn't listen to me last time... you're not going to now. Enjoy the show.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "remember, the presidential primaries... are only a few months away. Hey, if you don't like it, go to Russia.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Aren't you a little old for this? You're not even wearing costumes. Hand over the candy, old dude, or we egg your house.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Here you go, kids. Heh-heh... heh. Lousy punks. D'oh!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "I didn't select this costume for mobility. I wore it to salute the noble Native Americans of the Pacific Northwest.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Yaahh! Ha-ha-ha!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.29, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, everybody in this family... will have a bad nightmare tonight. Oh, yeah, three bad nightmares. I'd like to see that. Heh-heh-heh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "What a dump! Why would Princess Grace live here?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Dad, that's Monaco. D'oh!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "I can do that, but I don't want to.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "It is a monkey's paw, dating back to Al-Al Ben Abdallah.", "c": ["Shopkeeper"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "I was once president of Algeria. I don't want to hear your life story. Paw me.", "c": ["Shopkeeper", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Why, at that little shop right over... there. Oh, it was over there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "You'll be sorry. Flight 7, Marrakesh to Springfield, now boarding.", "c": ["Shopkeeper", "Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Don't shoot! Don't shoot! They're souvenirs. You must pay a fine of two American dollars. Okay.", "c": ["Homer", "Airport Security"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Oh, no! Maggie made a wish.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Oh, my land! Ooh.! A luxury car. Good baby. Good Maggie. Ohh, a new pacifier. D'oh!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Look, everybody. My purse exploded!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "I'm terrible sorry. I have absolutely nothing untilJune. Ah, the Simpsons! Right this way, please.", "c": ["Maitre d'"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "If I hear one more thing about the Simpsons... I swear I'll scream. At first they were cute, but now they're annoying. 18 bucks for this? What a rip-off.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Is there anything they won't do?", "c": ["Background character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Sorry about the Falklands. Oh, forget it. We knew they were yours.", "c": ["Reagan", "Thatcher"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Well, won't be needing these anymore.", "c": ["Military personnel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Foolish humans. Oh, yes, Kodos. Earth is now ripe for the plucking.", "c": ["Kang", "Kodos"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons. Gordon, do something. What do you want me to do? I'm a baker now.", "c": ["Human resistance", "Gordon"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Nice hot mustard, good bread... turkey's a little dry-- The turkey's a little dry?! Oh, foul the cursed thing! What demon from the depths of hell created thee?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Hey, is that one of those monkey paw dealies... that lets you wish for things? Yeah, but I got to warn you that this thing is-- Yeah, that's what it is. You want to try it?", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Aahh! He's got a board with a nail in it! Enslave humanity, will ya?! Run, Kodos!", "c": ["Kang", "Kodos", "Ned"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Okely-dokely.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "That board with the nail in it may have defeated us... but the humans won't stop there. They'll make bigger boards and bigger nails. Soon they will make a board with a nail so big... it will destroy them all!", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "I wish I had a monkey's paw.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Presented for your consideration:: Springfield-- an average little town... with a not-so-average monster.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "And did I mention that the monster... is a ten-year-old boy? Quite a twist, huh? Betcha didn't see that one coming.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Every day, same old cat. I'll make him more interesting. Much better. Oh, good, the curtains are on fire.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Much better. Oh, good, the curtains are on fire.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "It's good that you made that awful thing, Bart. It's real good.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "He gets it from your side of the family, you know. No monsters on my side.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. You're the little dude with the gnarly powers.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "America was now discovered in 1942 by... 'some guy.' And our country isn't called America anymore. It's Bonerland.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt... and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "The ball is turning into a fat, bald guy.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "It's no good, and you know what we say... Every time something strange happens-- it's good that Bart did that. It's very good.", "c": ["TV Announcer", "Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "346 consecutive hours... and all because of one little boy who-- who won't let me stop!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Then, when he's least expecting it, bash his head in. End of monster. Aaaaaaaaaahhh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "I'm not nodding. It's the air conditioning.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "I'm not nodding. It's the air conditioning.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "You got it. Oh! Hey, hey. Oh, oh. Thanks, boy. I love you, Dad. I love you, son.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Little do they realize... their days of suckling at my teat are numbered.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Very well. Eeny, meeny, miny-- Blugh! Him!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "The greatest breakthrough in labor relations... since the cat-o'-nine-tails!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "How hard can it be? Hey, Dad, here's one. $28 an hour, plenty of fresh air... and you get to meet lots of interesting people. Ooh, what job is that? Grave digger.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "I wouldn't bury my turtle in that mud puddle. What's the use? Sheesh! What a slave driver.", "c": ["Homer", "Supervisor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "No, I didn't. Who is it, Frankenstein? The Boogerman?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "The man in the bag. I think he's alive. Oh. Bad corpse. Stop scaring Smithers. Satisfied?", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Damn it, Smithers! This isn't rocket science, it's brain surgery!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Look at me-- I'm Davy Crockett!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "It's moving! It's alive! Oh, that fellow at Radio Shack said I was mad. Well, who's mad now?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Hi, there. I'm your daddy.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Mmm! Sprin-kles.", "c": ["Robot Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "And as for you, you clinking, clattering cacophony... of collagenous cogs and camshafts, take... that.!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Every bone... shattered... organs... leaking vital fluids... a slight headache, loss of appetite.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "You were crushing me. I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Perhaps you're wondering why you have two heads. My body was crushed, so I had head grafted onto your... shall we say, ample frame.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Oh, I hate having two heads.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "Oh, that's right. It's all a dream... or is it?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 7, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ii"}, {"t": "I called her. She's not home. I also tried Mr. Flanders, Aunt Patty, Aunt Selma, Dr. Hibbert, Reverend Lovejoy... and that nice man who caught the snake in our basement.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Wow. And after them... out of all the people in the world... you chose me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Let me caution the people in the first five rows-- You will get wet.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "The doors are now locked, so you parents can't sneak out after your own child has performed.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Just in the nick of-- Mmm. Beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "This is a whole lot of nothing. I'd rather watch the boilers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "The moron next door closed early. / I happen to be that moron. / Oh, me and my trenchant mouth!", "c": ["Homer", "Music Store Owner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "I'd like to open with my impression of... Principal Skinner.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Duh, look at me. I'm Principal Skinner.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "That young man just became... the boy of a thousand days detention.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "I wonder what lunch lady Doris has for us today. / Today's special is refried... dog poop.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.48, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Let me think about it. Uh... no.", "c": ["Shop owner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Come on,Jer. Open up. I pulled you out of that burning car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "What instrument does she play? / I don't know.", "c": ["Music Store Owner", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Lisa, stop playing that stupid-- Saxophone! That's it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Alto or tenor? / D'oh!", "c": ["Music Store Owner", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "I'd like to put this filth behind us... and let's all enjoy... Lisa Simpson's rendition... of 'Stormy Leather.' / Uh, 'Weather.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Sounds like that gopher I caught in me lawn mower.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Ew, I'd hate to be that kid's father.", "c": ["Audience Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Uh-oh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Let's hear it for Lisa Simpson... and her wacky sax. / Yeah! Whoo! / Must be her father.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Homer", "Audience Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Oh! That cost $88! / I don't feel much like eating.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "I forgive you. / D'oh! You didn't mean that. / No, I didn't.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "You're taping it? / Yes. / I'll watch it later.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "No wonder she hates me. Oh, I never even noticed she was alive.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Maybe I should give up on Lisa... and make a fresh start with Maggie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "If I spend any more time doing girl things... I'm going to, you know, go fruity.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "With today's gasoline prices, we can't afford not to.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "When you yell at me, I see love in your eyes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Was that a yes or a no? / Baa. / Those aren't even words. / Sna.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "'Scottish Deer Hound.' Hey, this is a dog! / My friend, you're smarter than I gave you credit for.", "c": ["Homer", "Pet Store Owner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "That stunning creature over there... is half a million dollars. / Half a million dollars?! / He was sired by Seattle Slew. His mother won the Kentucky Derby. His likeness graces a stamp in Tanzania.", "c": ["Pony Farm Owner", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "This check is dated January 1, 2054. / Is there a problem with that?", "c": ["Pony Farm Owner", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Isn't there like a pound... where you can pick up cheap ponies... that ran away from home?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws? / Usury? / Silly me. I made up a word that doesn't exist.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "You're not planning to eat it? / It's for my little girl because she doesn't love me.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Shut up, Simpson. / Smithers, let's not be so cold. His spirit is my collateral.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "I didn't do anything funny, sir. / Shut up.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Sounds like someone's angling... for a pony of her own.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "I know you love me, so you don't get squat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "This is Princess. Please don't exclude her because she's different.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "By day, it will roam free around the neighborhood... and at night, it will nestle snugly... between the cars in our garage.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "That's illegal. / That's for the courts to decide.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Wait! Where's the hyperspace? / Grandpa, you're the spaceship. / I thought I was this guy.", "c": ["Grandpa", "Bart", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "I got down on the floor for this?!", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "We're always buying Maggie... vaccinations for diseases she doesn't even have.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "We could cut down on beer. / We're not going to do that.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Oh, Mr. Homer... what has reduced you to such cheap chicanery?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Three liberty bells! / That will be $10,000, Apu. / If I could see the ticket-- / There it is. / Please to be removing your thumb.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "If you need money... you should have jammed a gun in my ribs... or inquire about my help wanted sign.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "These hot dogs have been here for three years. They are strictly ornamental. There is only one bozo who comes in and buys them. / But I eat-- / Oh.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Here's a pointer. Try taking it in the shoulder.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, she killed him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "While I'm here with you... my store is going down the tubes.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "30 years. / D'oh.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "I heard Milli Vanilli was arrested... for impersonating a McNugget.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "Although there is no change in my patrician facade... my heart is breaking.", "c": ["Stable Owner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "The young man you replaced is rolling over in his grave.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "There's a big dumb animal... I love more than that horse. / What is it, a hippopotamus?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "He slept, he stole... he was rude to the customers. Still, there goes the best damned employee... a convenience store ever had.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 8, "et": "Lisas Pony"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as... Buck Henderson, Union Buster... and Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Hi, everybody. Hi, Dr. Nick.", "c": ["Dr. Nick", "Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "With one application of Spiffy... you'll think the body's still warm", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "With one application of Spiffy... you'll think the body's still warm.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Quoth the raven-- What a shine!", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "If stuff starts flying just turn your head. Check.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Patty, Thelma, what a pleasant surprise!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "What do you know. He's wearing pants. I owe you lunch.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Ugly. / Ugly. Butch.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Expiration date, June 1989... uh, 2012, yeah.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Shh! They'll hear you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "You can't weld with such a little flame. Stupid kid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "I got me a future. I'm two days away from retirement. My daughter's graduating from college. Little Suzie is growing up.", "c": ["McBain partner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Mendoza!", "c": ["McBain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "You want to rent it, sir? Why? I just saw the best part.", "c": ["Video store clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Just grab something. All these movies are great.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Maybe you should try it on Homer. He'll fail it.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "I don't always keep my cool like the Fonz... but my love for my kids has given me plenty of happy days.", "c": ["Henry Winkler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Oh, great. You made me miss Joe Theisman.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Well, there's the fat kid with the thing. The little wiener who's always got his hands in his pockets.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Hank Jones.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Steve McQueen. That's your hero.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "He's always chewing on that phone cord. He hasn't done that since he was two.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "D'oh! That's a hobby.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "You're also fat. / I'm also fat!", "c": ["Selma", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I don't know jack about my boy. I'm a bad father. You're also fat. I'm also fat!", "c": ["Homer", "Patty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Good Lord! A zero? Lana, cancel my 1:00.", "c": ["Dave (National Fatherhood Institute)"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "As three-time derby champ Ronnie Beck says... 'Poorly guarded construction sites are a gold mine.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Bart, I think they're finally hauling your dad away. Maybe it's for the best.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "If he's as smart as he is funny, I'm sold.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "That's easy for you to say... you preachy, egg-headed institute guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "That back and forther you witnessed didn't happen overnight. It took years of effort.", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "What boy? Your son.", "c": ["Dave", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Dear God! Not again!", "c": ["Dave"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "I built a lot of things around the house-- the spice rack... the bird feeder... the Gymboree.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "What was that? Ah, who cares?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Cosby's first law of intergenerational perversity. No matter what you tell your child to do... he will always do the opposite.", "c": ["Homer reading"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "That sounds too complicated. Okay, don't use reverse psychology. All right, I will.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Thank you, Bill Cosby. You've saved the Simpsons.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "that Bart is a little miracle-- his winning smile, his button nose, his fat little stomach...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "He reminds me of me before the weight of the world crushed my spirit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "He's my son, and if he doesn't wanna wear one, you can't make him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Ay, caramba!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Whoa, talk about your pieces of crap.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Careful, boys. It took me months to steal that bumper.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "It took me months to steal that bumper.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Help! Help! What was that? You didn't hear nothing!", "c": ["Unknown victim", "Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "As three-time soap box derby champion Ronnie Beck says... 'Gravity is my copilot.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Deploy, damn you! Deploy!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Save your palliative clich\u00e9s for the next poor sap, Doctor.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "That racer transformed me into the twisted creature... you see before you.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "It's slow, it's ugly, it handles like a shopping cart.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "When did I teach you that? I picked it up somewhere.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "I'll just sit here in Li'l Lightnin' which the Simpsons built... and remember that for one brief shining moment... I had a son.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Maybe I'm being a little anal but barefoot season's coming up... and there's a world of rusty nails out there.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "This is how you get your kicks, isn't it, Lisa?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "You! Home wrecker!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "But I guess I was wrong. You are a bad father.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Shut up, Flanders. Flanders! / When should a boy start dating? / There are two schools of thought on the subject-- / Great! Thanks!", "c": ["Homer", "Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "I'll curse that name till the day I die! Flanders! Flanders.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "What did I just tell you? Kill spectators.", "c": ["Martin", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Check out the rack on the blond in the fourth row.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "The better man won, Simpson. You can really drive.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Ha-ha, ha-ha-ha. Loser! Na-na, na-na-na", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "You know, there is such a thing as being a bad winner.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "Mom, I never won before. I may never win again. Na-na, na-na-na", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 9, "et": "Saturdays Of Thunder"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Wow. Info-tainment.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "25 years and still burning strong", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "He's not so fat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "It was a dump. If you see me there, you know I up bad.", "c": ["Dredrick Tatum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Whoa-- T and A!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Who can sleep with those five evil hens cackling and plotting against me?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "They've got better things to talk about than you. Sheesh, what an ego.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Lisa, your brother is so gross. You should smell his room.", "c": ["Girl at slumber party"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "It's a mop. My husband will be a janitor.", "c": ["Wanda"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "That looks like an Olympic torch to me. He could be an athlete and go on to have a great acting career.", "c": ["Another girl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "It's a dustpan. The wax never lies.", "c": ["First girl"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "I dare you to... kiss Lisa's brother. Eww!!", "c": ["Girls at party"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Who? Mom and dad. Jinx! #You can't talk till somebody says your name #", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "An elephant who never forgets... to brush!", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Because I'm jinxed, damn it!... Ow!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "You spoke while you were jinxed so I get to punch you. Sorry, it's the law.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "People are healthier and drinking less. If it wasn't for the junior high school next door no one would even use the cigarette machine.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Increased job satisfaction and family togetherness are poison for a purveyor of mind-numbing intoxicants.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "You're too late, Homer. Barney sucked it dry. Cut his gums up pretty bad.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Gin and... tonic? Do they mix?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "And this is Patty trying to plug her razor into those ungodly Czechoslovakian outlets. As you can see, we never got the hang of it.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "As I stared at that hairy drumstick I knew I needed a drink.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "If you're going for a beer, this is the last one. D'oh!", "c": ["Patty", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "It passed the first test-- I didn't go blind.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "They say everyone can float in the Dead Sea but Selma sank right to the bottom.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "I don't know the scientific explanation but fire made it good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Bowie knife, troll doll... glass eye... Oh, here we are.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Homer, it's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Hey, this drink is delicious and my phlegm feels looser.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "It's called a Flaming... ...Moe! It's called a Flaming Moe. That's right, a Flaming Moe. My name is Moe, and I invented it.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Hey, what's this? A sneeze guard. Wow, it really works!", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "It hasn't been this crowded since the government cracked down on you for accepting food stamps.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Think my drink had something to do with it? Who can say? It's probably a combination of things.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "You mean, '' Bartenders Do It 'Til You Barf''? Above that store-bought drollery.", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "You could, but I find this way is much more accurate, and fun.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "An unforgettable weekend at Club Moe. I'd prefer to vacation someplace hot. - Whoo! - Ha-ha! - Ow! - Whoo!", "c": ["Moe", "Waitress"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "I like your moxie, kid. You're hired. You shan't regret this. Methinks I shan't.", "c": ["Moe", "Waitress"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Tipsy McStagger is just a composite of other successful logos.", "c": ["Corporate rep"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "You tell him for me that he makes one great mozzarella stick.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Do you know how much of my blood and sweat are in this drink? Uh... figure of speech.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Only an idiot would give away a million-dollar idea like that. Ohhh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "The inventor I admire is not a rich man or a famous man, or even a smart man. He's my father, Homer Simpson creator of... # Dun-da-da-dah # The Flaming Homer!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "You mean the Flaming Moe and your dad didn't invent it, you wuss. Moe the bartender did. Everyone knows that.", "c": ["School kids"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Henceforth, this date shall forever be known as Flaming Moe's Day. Sir, this is Veteran's Day. It can be two things.", "c": ["Mayor", "Aide"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Mom, instead of milk, can I have a virgin Moe?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Nah. Marge, I'm too upset to eat. I think I'll go to Moe's. D'oh! Oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Hello, St. Louis! That's Springfield, Steven. Oh, yeah. Right.", "c": ["Steven Tyler", "Someone"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "You're my kid's teacher. Single parent, are we? No. Let's pretend you are.", "c": ["Moe", "Teacher"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "It's hard to say. He may have come up with the recipe but I came up with the idea of charging 6.95.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "I'm looking for a friend. Last name: Jazz. First name: Hugh. Hold on. I'll check. Huge ass? Somebody check the men's room for a huge ass. I'm Hugh Jazz. Telephone. This is Hugh Jazz. Uh... hi. Who's this? Bart Simpson. What can I do for you? This is a crank call that backfired and I'd like to bail out right now. Better luck next time.", "c": ["Bart", "Moe", "Hugh Jazz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Hmm, what a nice young man.", "c": ["Hugh Jazz"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "You just lost yourself a customer! What? I couldn't hear you. I said, you just lost a customer! What? You just lost a customer! You'll have to speak up. You lost yourself a customer, Moe! I forced myself to what? You just lost a customer! We'll talk tomorrow. You just lost yourself a customer! Yeah, you can use it.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "We're prepared to offer you $1 million. Sorry, Harv, but like I told you before it ain't for sale.", "c": ["Corporate rep", "Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "According to the gas chromatograph the secret ingredient is... love?! Who's been screwing with this thing?", "c": ["Scientist"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "I got hooked on this in the service.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "The Flaming Moe dates back to my forefathers who were bartenders to the czar.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Mrs. Simpson but you can't copyright a drink. Ohh! This goes back to the '7 8 Frank Wallbanger case. How about that? I looked something up. These books don't just make the office look good. They're filled with useful legal tidbits.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "I'm the magical man from happy land in a gumdrop house on lollipop lane. Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. Well, duh!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "I sleep with a chick once it costs me half a million bananas.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "When Bart's done, can we Moe to the Moevies for the Moetinee? Of course. All work and Moe play makes Moe a Moe Moe.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Moe, Moe, Moe... Bart, are you going to mow the lawn today? Okay, but you promised me Moe money. I Moe, I Moe. Moe, Moe, Moe... When Bart's done, can we Moe to the Moevies for the Moetinee? Of course. All work and Moe play makes Moe a Moe Moe. Moe Moe Moe Moe Moe? Moe Moe Moe. Moe Moe Moe Moe Moe. Moe Moe Moe Moe. Moe. Moe, Moe... Moe... Moe, Moe... Moe.... Moe, Moe...", "c": ["Simpson family"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Hey, where's Joey? [Joey ] Mrs. Krabappel I really need my drumsticks. Come and get 'em!", "c": ["Band member", "Joey", "Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "The secret ingredient is... Homer, no! ...Cough syrup. Nothing but plain, ordinary, over-the-counter children's cough syrup.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Holy cow, you just fell on Aerosmith!", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "She left to pursue a movie career. Frankly, I think she was better off here.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Maybe some things are too good to be kept a secret.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "Compliments of the house-- One Flaming... Homer.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 10, "et": "Flaming Moes"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "The shampoo specifically said, 'No more tears.' A lovely promise...but one beyond the powers of a mere shampoo.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "I dreamed of grand slam home runs...and wiping out nations with the stroke of a pen.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Controlled nuclear fission is a demanding mistress.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "All employees got some...in exchange for waiving certain constitutional rights.", "c": ["Stockbroker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "The book says to make small talk...before getting down to business. - Everybody alive? - Yeah. - Like any sports? - Sure. - Ever go dancing? - Not anymore. - We should get together sometime. - That'd be great. There. Now we trust each other.", "c": ["Stockbroker", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Sell! Sell! Sell! Whoo-hoo! Twenty-five dollars!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Your father's stock is worth $5,200!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Wow! 5,200 smackers!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Buy low, sell high-- that's my motto. I may quit my job at the power plant...and become a full-time...stock market guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "My English is not perfect, but I have to tell you...your beer is like swill to us. Only a swine would drink this beer.", "c": ["German businessman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry. We'll have enough left to buy the Cleveland Browns.", "c": ["German businessman"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Homer's probably buying some magic beans with it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "I sold it all for 25 bucks!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "- Oww! - Come on, everybody. It makes you feel better.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "It started as an eye tuck, but the stock kept climbing.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "You'll see the Statue of Liberty wearing lederhosen...before you'll see Germans running my plant!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "So I can look Uncle Fritz square in the monocle...and say, 'Nein.!'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "I grudgingly accept.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Hans and Fritz-- Why, that's just John and Frank.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Look at all those worried faces...except for Lenny. He looks great.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Perhaps I remind you of lovable Sergeant Schultz...on Hogan's Heroes.", "c": ["Horst"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Uh... me. Right here. I'm drunk right now.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Hey, maybe I'll marry Elizabeth Taylor.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "You looken sharpen todayen, mein herr.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "He was good to his mother. Yes, but I couldn't understand a word that man said. 'Mr. Burns...hound dog.' Stop it. You're killing me, sir.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "If I'm not a safety 'whatchamajigger,' I'm nothing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Fit, damn you! Fit!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Hey, you! Stop being... so unsafe! Smitty... safen up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "No. I must have phrased that badly. My English is inelegant. I meant to say...may we have a brief, friendly chat? No. Failed again. 'We request the pleasure of your company...for a free exchange of ideas.' Nooo!", "c": ["Horst", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Well, uh... I wish the candy machine...wasn't so picky about taking beat-up dollar bills...because...a lot of workers really like candy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "We understand, Homer. After all, we are from the land of chocolate.", "c": ["Horst"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Wow... chocolate, half-price!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "That was ten minutes ago.", "c": ["Horst"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Sure, they've made mistakes in the past, but that's why pencils have erasers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Simpson, Homer. That is all.", "c": ["Horst"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Instead of buying comic books, I read them in the store.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "When I get you, I'm gonna use your head for a bucket...and paint my house with your brains.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Ah, the mirthless laugh of the damned.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Watch me blend in. Barkeep, some cheap domestic beer...for me and my buddy here.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Does your money ever hug you...when you come home at night? Why, no. And does it ever say 'I love you'? No, it doesn't.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "That's because I forgot to stamp it!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Who'd have thought a nuclear plant could be such a death trap?", "c": ["German businessman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Desperate, eh? Advantage: Burns.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared. Ooh, the Germans! Stop it. Stop that. The Germans are coming after me. Stop the pretending you are scared game. They're so big. Stop it, Mr. Burns. Protect me from the Germans! Stop it! Get out! This is my office now!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Smithers, I keep my friends close...and my enemies even closer.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! I got my job back!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 11, "et": "Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Pirate-themed pregnancy test instructions", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Test turns pink instead of blue or purple", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "If a test should fail... to a doctor set sail", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Homer's pregnancy symptoms", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Your mother just broke her leg", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "I smell a bun in the oven", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "You're a machine, Homer", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "For me, it's diaper changes and midnight feedings. Doesn't Mom do that? Yeah, but I hear about it.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "I threw up more than your mother", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Those were idealistic days-- The candidacy of John Anderson, the rise of Supertramp", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Homer, you turn the blades too fast. The golfers are complaining.", "c": ["Boss", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Keep this up and someday you'll be the guy who hands out the putters", "c": ["Boss"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "I thought it was over. You had a problem turning blades. You overcame it. The feel-good story of the year.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans. We watch an appalling amount of TV.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Don't you ever, ever talk that way about television", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Homer's mid-sentence forgetting", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Okay, girls, you can smoke now", "c": ["Marge's friend"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "I don't know what you see in that ugly meatball", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "If you like being pawed by something fat and lazy, we could get a cat. It would leave less hair on the couch.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Marge, get your butt out here!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Do you mean like will apes be our masters?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "What do you think about? Well, girls. I mean boys! I mean you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Well, thank you, Mr. Blow-The-Picture-For-Me", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "You're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Actually, she was singing about God. Oh, well, he's always happy. No, wait, he's always mad.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Someday I'll buy you a real castle. You don't have to do that. Whoo, good.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "It must be the Champale talking", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "This castle is impregnable", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "So You've Ruined Your Life pamphlet", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "You'll never do any better. You lucky bum. The fish jumped right in the boat.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "All you got to do is whack her with the oar", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Damn it, where's that card?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "In your face, everybody! Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "The baby's name will be Kool Moe Dee Simpson", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "All the kids will call him Larry Fairy... Screwy Louie... Slob... Puke... Mucus", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Bart, cart, dart, e-art-- Nope. Can't see any problem with that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Get this punched every time. The tenth wedding is on the house.", "c": ["Wedding officiant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "No matter how many times I hear that, it always makes me laugh", "c": ["Wedding officiant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "You may not look like Ted Bessell, but you're just as nice", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "By the power vested in me by the state gaming commission", "c": ["Wedding officiant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Hey, love birds, keep it down", "c": ["Hotel neighbor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Baby to Marge. Baby to Marge. Wah! Wah! Over.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "I heard radiation can make you sterile. Now you tell me.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Smithers, you keg-meister, you", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "It takes me a long time to learn anything. I'm kind of a goof-off-- That will do.", "c": ["Homer", "Interviewer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "We're all going to die! Run!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Yeah. The doctor.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "What a crappy candle. You've ruined our vacation.", "c": ["Tourist"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Handle first, handle first", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "I thought you said you liked dogs", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Our model is the trapezoid that guarantees each investor an 800% return", "c": ["Pyramid scheme leader"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Uh-oh! The cops!", "c": ["Pyramid scheme leader"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "We break thumbs", "c": ["Bill collector"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Repossessing stuff is the hardest part of my job", "c": ["Repo man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Shut up with that pen scratching down there", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Can we have a can of frosting for lunch?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "This taco is full of hair", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "They get doughnuts! All the colors of the rainbow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "You want fries with that?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Holy cow, you're as big as a house!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "They won't even tell me what's in the secret sauce", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "The oil is burning my finger", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "I knocked you up", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "'I knocked you up.' 'No, because I love you.'", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "The hunter has become the hunted", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Treat me like dirt-- I'll still kiss your butt and call it ice cream!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Feisty, yet spineless", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "This man failed the aptitude test and got trapped in a closet on his way out", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Only in America could I get a job!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Simpson, eh? I'll remember that name.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Don't ever call me that", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "This is my wife, and my kid. I'm paying for this delivery.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Tomorrow, I'm a nuclear technician! Good God!", "c": ["Homer", "Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "As long as he's got eight fingers and eight toes, he's fine by me", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "He did that on purpose! How could he? He's only ten minutes old.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "Homer! I'm not pregnant! Yeah! Whoa! Excellent, Marge! Yes!", "c": ["Marge", "Family"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 12, "et": "I Married Marge"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Hey! Where in God's name did you learn that kind of... dancing?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Dad, this is $110. - Oh. Sorry.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "That could be Bart.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Hey, good-looking... we'll be back to pick you up later. He's in for some loving.", "c": ["TV Commercial"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "It won't be like those shoe trees... I got him last year... or the shelf paper I bought him for Christmas. I'll buy his love yet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Wow. Best eight bucks I ever spent.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Take a message. Right now, I'm off to hit 46 local merchants... for free birthday... goods and services.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "I'm here for my free birthday sundae. Eat it and get out.", "c": ["Bart", "Store clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Digital audiotape, my butt. When I was a kid, we had compact discs... and I don't recall no one complaining. Damn right.", "c": ["Grandpa", "Other old man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Hey, later, okay? Hey, why don't you go bug your parents?", "c": ["Wally"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Hell, no. - You got it.", "c": ["Bart", "Restaurant worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Before we got it... I was always finding Patty's stubble... in my leg razor.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Next.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Ooh,just gorgeous. Now we can be twins.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Hey, good-looking... we'll be back for some dinner later.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Mmm, chocolate. D'oh! Mmm, chocolate. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "People of Earth, this is Bartron-- commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless. We have captured your president. He was delicious.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Sorry, lady. Show's over.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "I dreamed I was married to Corey... and we lived on a pony farm... and Corey was always walking around... with his shirt off. Oh, brother.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "I dreamed I was married to Corey and we lived on a pony farm and Corey was always walking around with his shirt off.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Rod, Tod, this is God. How did you get on the radio? What do you mean? I created the universe, stupid kids.", "c": ["Bart", "Rod", "Tod"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Walk through the wall. I will remove it... for you... ...later.", "c": ["Bart as God"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God? Happy God. Then quit flapping your lip.", "c": ["Bart as God", "Rod/Tod"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Help me, please. I fell down the well! I'll get help, laddie. A little nip of courage.", "c": ["Bart", "Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Out of my way! Look out, you horse's arse! Sucker.", "c": ["Willie", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "My name is Timmy O'Toole. I just turned ten years old. I have no family. I tried to enroll in school... but Principal Skinner turned me away... because of my shabby clothes.", "c": ["Bart as Timmy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "He's a liar.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "By God, men, you're a bunch of marshmallows. Why don't you go, Chief? Well, I'm too... ...important.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "By God, men, you're a bunch of marshmallows. Why don't you go, Chief? Well, I'm too... important.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "I don't think he's coming back.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Although we can't reach the boy... we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen... so that future generations can rescue him.", "c": ["Scientist"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "With this hook and this hunk of chocolate I'll land your boy and I'll clean him for free.", "c": ["Fisherman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "How does that make him a hero? Well, it's more than you did.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "I wanted to do something... to help... so I called my friend, Sting. He said... 'When do you need me?' I said, 'Thursday.' He said, 'I'm busy.' I said, 'Friday?' He said... 'Friday's worse.' Then he said, 'How about Saturday?' I said, 'Fine.' True story.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Yeah. I used to open for Krusty in '69. In fact, he fired me, as I recall. Oh, Sting. But this isn't about show business. This is about some kid down a hole... or something.", "c": ["Sting"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "We got to pay for promotion, shipping, distribution. You know, those limos out back aren't free. Whatever's left, we throw down the well.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Authentic Timmy O'Toole baby teeth. $6.00 a bag.", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "It's very simple, Kent. The child is reverting to a feral or wolf-like state.", "c": ["Expert"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "I was trying to gnaw my foot off, but... I couldn't get through my sock. Good night, everybody.", "c": ["Bart as Timmy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "When they find out you've been fooling them... they're gonna want to cut you up with rusty razors. And how are they going to find out? The police will catch you. The police couldn't catch a cold.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Maybe not, but you're stupid enough... to have left a 'Bart Simpson' label... on that radio. D'oh!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Help! I fell down the well. Tell us something we don't know.", "c": ["Bart", "Police"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy O'Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody. Well, you sure fooled us, kid. Hey, I got an idea for a prank. Let's go home... and go to sleep. Good one, Eddie.", "c": ["Bart", "Lou", "Eddie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "You must think we're the worst parents in the world. Yes, that's pretty much the feeling down at the station.", "c": ["Marge", "Lou"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "I brought you your Krusty doll. Ow! Knock it off, you bald boob! Don't make me come down there! Like to see you fit. Why, you little...!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "I like the other boy. So polite.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Had he done it at the start of the fiscal year, no problemo.", "c": ["Official"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "It's not our fault. We didn't want the boy. He was an accident. Homer! Could you edit that last part? Mr. Simpson, we're live. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Reporter"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "One plus one plus three is five. Little Bart Simpson's buried alive. He's so neat. He's so sweet. Now the rats have Bart to eat...", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Ever since I called for the rescue... of that Simpson lad, I have taken heat... so I am flip-flopping. I say let him stay down there.", "c": ["Mayor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "You'll grow into it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "That's all I can stands. I can't stands no more. I'm going to get you out of there myself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "smoke a cigarette... use a fake I.D.... shave a swear word in my hair--", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "The Lincoln squirrel has been assassinated. We'll stay with the story all night, if we have to.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, this canary died of natural causes. Back in the hole!", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play your albums. Shh! Marge, he's a good digger.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Sting"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play your albums. Shh! Marge, he's a good digger.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 13, "et": "Radio Bart"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Well, bye-bye belt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Homer, all those fatty... deep-fried, heavily-salted snacks... can't be good for your heart. My heart is just fine.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "A little beer will put out that fire.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "the man who's right... 52% of the time, Smooth Jimmy Apollo", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Moe's Tavern... where the peanut bowl is freshened hourly.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Chief Wiggum, could you hand me... that little black book? Sure thing, Moe. I was using it as a coaster.", "c": ["Moe", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "All right, Denver, justify my love.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "This is where she prints her feminist newsletter.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "things I'll tell you when you're older", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Just don't say anything, and sit down over there. Over.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "See you in hell, soldier boy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Even though I'd love to spend... this sunny afternoon trying on clothes, it's not...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "you're wrong 48% of the time. Why didn't you say that before?!", "c": ["Smooth Jimmy Apollo", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "by 200 points?! Why, you worthless hunk of junk!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Don't you realize this is costing me money?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "The Dolphins? Good, good.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "That's because people who wear them get beaten up.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Well, anyone who would do that isn't your friend.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "How did you know?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "It's a little thing daddies do... to make football more exciting.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Mmm... crumbled-up cookie things.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "My God... it's like there's some kind of bond between us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "We've got a troublemaker in booth eight. There's a code red in booth three.", "c": ["Security"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "My God! Those aren't the socks... she came in with.", "c": ["Security"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "You could use some new underwear too.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "somewhere in the back", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "You bet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "You got to come out sometime, Simpson.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "It gets rid... of the unpleasant aftertaste of church.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Dad tucked me in too tight, and it's cutting off... the circulation in my arms and legs.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "The fear in his eyes, the quiver in his voice. He's a little boy lost in a game of men.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "I'd bet my entire college fund on it.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "The 49ers because they're pure of heart... Seattle because they got something to prove... and the Raiders because they cheat.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "It doesn't take a genius... to realize Houston's failed to cover their last ten outings... the week after scoring three touchdowns... in a game.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "My little girl says the cutest things.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Not Sunday-- Daddy-Daughter Day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "you lucky moron", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "I used to hate the smell of your sweaty feet. Now it's the smell of victory.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "I'm Homer, I'll be your customer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Never heard that one before.", "c": ["Marco"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Just bring us your freshest bottle of wine. Chop, chop.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "''The Broken Neck Blues.''", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Maybe the paint has shut off his pores... and he's slowly suffocating. That is a real fan.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "You call Moe. Just bet, Lisa.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "When the doctor said... I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day... of my life.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "when the Saints-- four and a half point favorites... only up by three-- kicked a meaningless field goal... at the last second to cover the spread.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Dear God!", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "'' Meryl Streep's Versatility.''", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Shut up! Shut up! Kiss my butt! Go to hell!", "c": ["Talking Krusty Doll"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Dad, I promise... I will never get tired of this.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Only in 48 states.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "The only victim is Moe... and it's brought Lisa and me together.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "The new football season is only seven months away.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "You never wanted to be with me at all. You're a very selfish man.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Go to hell! Go to hell! Hey, once again, great present, Dad.", "c": ["Krusty Doll", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "I've been gambling since I was eight... and hocking jewelry since I was 1 2.", "c": ["Woman at casino"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "All this was bought with dirty money. Your penthouse, your Alfa Romeo, your collagen-injection clinic.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "However, I may also be so clouded with rage... that subconsciously... I want you to lose. In which case, I'd bet the farm on Buffalo.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "If I still love you... Washington. If I don't, Buffalo.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Every note is a dagger in my heart. I got to get out of here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "I play Jack Handle, a retired cop... who shares an apartment with a retired criminal. The original odd couple.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "and my recent trouble with the I RS sealed the deal.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "People of Earth, we've come ten billion light-years... to bring you this halftime message of peace.", "c": ["Aliens"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Oh, this sucks. Come on, snipers, where are you?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "You-Hate-Dad by a touchdown.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "They wanted it more.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "If Washington scores, happy fans will be looting... and turning over cars in our nation's capital tonight.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "Money comes and goes, but my daughter and I... can go on for eight more years!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa The Greek"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "I am not cleaning that. Mmm, who am I kidding?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Now, Maggie... when you grow up... you can suck your pacifier all you want.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Overwhelming morning chaos with multiple demands", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "One at a time!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Bart, your hat's behind the toilet.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "A bottle cap got lodged in the finger hole.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Ohh, alley balls?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.93, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "No way. Never happen.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Well, I'll be damned.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "It's a nervous twitch, and I'm sensitive about it... if you don't mind.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Get... out!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Krusty brand duck sausage pizza", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "I haven't flushed a ball in years.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Feels like there's a rat in my brain!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Your wife is dead... She just walked through a plate glass window. There's blood everywhere.", "c": ["Bill and Marty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Noooo!!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "And look out at 14th and Elm. I just dropped my bagel.", "c": ["Arnie Pie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "I got a body in the trunk.", "c": ["Driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "You've gotten chocolate all over everything.", "c": ["Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Not getting enough of the good stuff?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "That explains a lot.", "c": ["Police Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Don't put your lips on it.", "c": ["Police Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "How about, 'Yes, it's me'?", "c": ["Police Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Later tonight, I think you and I should, uh... snuggle?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Cuff her, boys!", "c": ["Police Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "She'll be cracking rocks by the end of the week.", "c": ["Police Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Quimby, don't write checks your butt can't cash.", "c": ["Police Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "They're like seals-- toss 'em a fish... and watch 'em slap their fins together.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "They're like seals-- toss 'em a fish and watch 'em slap their fins together.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Remember, you can't spell Relaxo without relax.", "c": ["Spa Commercial"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.44, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "What?! You mean we're getting a divorce?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "We've got six months of maternity leave we'll never use anyway.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Wish I'd thought of that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "He'll probably trade her... for a beer and a nudie magazine.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "See? Got her on the first bounce.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "See? Got her on the first bounce.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Don't!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "You haven't touched your tongue sandwiches.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "You think you know fear? Well, I've seen them naked.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "You might remember me from such films as... Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die, and Gladys, the Groovy Mule.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "That can't be good for me. It tastes too good.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Oh, Gregory... where have you been all my life?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Mmm. Strained peas. [To Tune Of 'Rule Brittania'] # Shakespeare's fried chicken #", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "D'oh! Let go!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "D'oh! Let go!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Oh, it's me.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Ay, caramba.!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "I said it before, and I'll say it again. Ay, caramba.!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Aw, Bart... that's a blackhead gun!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Richard Dean Anderson will be in my dreams tonight.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "You want a bad night? Try sleeping... on one of these.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "I make them with two kinds of cheese.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "The sooner I get her out... the sooner we can have omelets.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "I can't even put a bag over my head.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Let's get out of here, Thelma. Okay, Louise.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Come on, kids. It's time to rub Aunt Patty's feet.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Lube job while you wait? Don't touch me.", "c": ["Gas Station Attendant", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Well, good. The dog didn't run away.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Please, don't jump. I know you're going through some tough times...", "c": ["Bystander"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Maggie was very young. It's not like we got so attached to her.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "Just don't do it again, you big lug.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "I think I speak... for everyone in this bed... when I say you have nothing to worry about.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Alone"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "You said you wanted a world without zinc, Jimmy. Well, now your car has no battery.", "c": ["Educational Film Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Sorry Jimmy. Without zinc for the rotary mechanism there are no telephones.", "c": ["Educational Film Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "The firing pin in your gun was made of... yup... zinc.", "c": ["Educational Film Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Zinc, come back. Zinc! Zinc, zinc! What? Oh, it was all a dream.", "c": ["Educational Film Narrator", "Jimmy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Gross! He's picking his nose.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "If anyone wants to learn more about zinc they're welcome to stay. We can talk about anything. I'll do your homework for you.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Chef Lonely Heart's soup for one.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "I haven't seen you since we doubled our prices.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Bingo, bango, sugar in the gas tank. Your ex-husband strikes again.", "c": ["Edna's Ex-husband"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "A personal ad? Why not? It might be fun. Kind of a lark. Come on, come on. Answer the phone. I need a man!", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Ow, my eyeball!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Kids, this is a yo-yo. Kind of dull, huh? Not much competition for a video game... or is it?", "c": ["Ted Carpenter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "She's beautiful.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "These guys must be millionaires. I'll bet they get all kinds of girls.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "I question the value of this assembly. It will be a pleasant memory when they're pumping gas for a living.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Ooh... careful now. That one grazed my ear. Don't move. You could really get hurt.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Wait. This isn't you. That's the old Sparkle. Get your worthless butts in the van. We got three more schools. Let's go, go, go!", "c": ["Sparkle"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "That's your trick? No. Here's my trick. Hoowah!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Can you believe it? Soon, I'll be able to quit my job and live off the boy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Name me one person who's gotten rich by doing yo-yo tricks. Donald Trump? No. Arnold Palmer? No. Bill Cosby? No. D'oh!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Did they have yo-yos? No, they did not have yo-yos. Did the Indians have yo-yos? No, they did not have yo-yos!", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Yo.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "A little something I call 'Plucking the Pickle.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "I didn't do it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Don't worry about your wee fish, lass. They're going to a better place.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Here you go... Just kidding. Here you go... Just kidding.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Your ad said you wanted a man. You got yourself a hummm-dinger.", "c": ["Man responding to personal ad"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Just because there's a little snow on the roof... I forget how the rest of that goes.", "c": ["Man responding to personal ad"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Someone jammed a Malibu Stacy head down here.", "c": ["Repair technician"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "One plus one equals two?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "My name is... Woodrow.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "I really hate yo-yos.", "c": ["Bart as Woodrow"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Marge, you're a tool of the doghouse makers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "You've been brainwashed by all those doghouse commercials on TV.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "This is a door. He goes through that. This is a roof. And this happy character here is the sun. He shines down on the house.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "I'm starting to get the hang of the floor waxer.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "I'm the 28th president of the United States.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "You've got a date with the Xerox machine.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Stupid lumber. Damn it! D'oh! I-- Oh, the hell with this!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Hell no. I don't want any damn vegetables.", "c": ["Todd Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Was it asparagus?", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Uh... page 900.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Damn Flanders.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "That exchange student Mix!pa?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "He used to watch Davy and Goliath but he thought the idea of a talking dog was blasphemous.", "c": ["Maude Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Maybe it's the beer talking but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big, chewy pretzels here... Five dollars?! Get outta here.", "c": ["Homer in postcard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Wow, a side of Dad I've never seen!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Truly, yours is a butt that won't quit.", "c": ["Bart as Woodrow"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "What the hell are you talking about?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "All of us pull a few boners now and then-- Go off half-cocked, make asses of ourselves.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Oh, come on now, Flanders. I don't complain about your... moustache.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Uh, it makes you look like you got something to hide. People are talking. Lots of people.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Aye, aye... Admiral Butthead.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Whoa, slow down, Frenchy. This stuff is gold.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Homer, you brought up Ned Flanders.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "It almost cost him his job as a baby photographer", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "If I catch fire? If I see something weird? What about when we snuggle?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Ay, caramba!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Perhaps later we will smooch up a storm. Sexily yours, Woody.", "c": ["Bart as Woodrow"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Homer, that was a 20.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "No sooner had I shaved off the old cookie duster than a lady cast me in a commercial.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Well, he just goes... Ohh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "What about Principal Skinner? Let's just say his mommy won't let him out to play.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "What about Coach Fortner? Glug, glug, glug, glug...", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "What about groundskeeper Willy? Ugh! I won't even tell you what that guy's into.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Bart, you are the closest thing to a man in my life and that's so depressing I think I'm going to cry.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Oh, fudge... That's broken. Fiddle-dee-dee. That will require a tetanus shot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Beer!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Dear baby, Welcome to Dumpville. Population: You.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Though I'll be inoculating babies in Kampuchea my heart is with you.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "How about 'Crocodiles bit off my face'?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Three simple words: 'I am gay.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "Homer, you old honey dripper.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "It's a date.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "It's such a nice day today. Let's have detention outside. It's a date.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 16, "et": "Bart The Lover"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Mmm, doughnuts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Don't tell me how to eat doughnuts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "That's for the hiccups.", "c": ["Coworker"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Last year we were 2 and 28. It wasn't our best season. Actually, it was.", "c": ["Coworkers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Hmm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "What's that? A homemade bat? It's something very special-- a homemade bat.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Sheltering myself with a large piece of sheet metal... I ran for cover under the tallest tree I could find.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "I put my homemade football on hold", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Homie, come to bed. Homer, go back to the garage.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "We play 30 games, 10 at bats a game-- 3,000.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "You can't leave first until you chug a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. Chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. And the fourth inning is the beer inning.", "c": ["Umpire"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Hey, we know how to play softball.", "c": ["Player"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "And there he goes off in that direction. And everyone is happy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Yeah, I got a magic bat too. And I got an enchanted jockstrap.", "c": ["Coworkers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Ha-ha! Cops can't win!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "I got my magic bat off a piano. My sister let me use her wooden leg.", "c": ["Coworkers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "I got my magic bat off a piano. - My sister let me use her wooden leg.", "c": ["Coworkers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "The Gladiators from my power plant will crush your team like nine flabby grapes.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Why don't we make it interesting? What, a million dollars isn't interesting?", "c": ["Competitor", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "No, sir. Who would you like killed?", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Honus Wagner, Cap Anson... Mordecai Brown-- Uh, sir... I'm afraid all those players have retired... and, uh, passed on. In fact, your right fielder has been dead for 130 years.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Damnation!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "the American League, the National League... the Negro leagues.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "It's a pay cut, but what the hey.", "c": ["Jose Canseco"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Hey, sorry. I thought you were a deer.", "c": ["Smithers", "Baseball Player"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "It's okay... but sometimes I wish I had something more blue collar... with big machines and cool dials and stuff... like an oil refinery... or hydroelectric plant.", "c": ["Mike Scioscia"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "One more outburst, and I'll send you back to the big leagues.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Well, I've never met you, but... yes.", "c": ["Darryl Strawberry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Now that you're older, I can tell you that's a crock. No matter how good you are... there's always a million people better. Gotcha-- Can't win, don't try.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Gotcha-- Can't win, don't try.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson, sir.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "It's like there's a party in my mouth... and everyone's invited.", "c": ["Ken Griffey Jr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "That's impossible. No one can give more than 100%. By definition, that is the most anyone can give.", "c": ["Don Mattingly"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "There's no 'I' in 'team.' Some of these guys have a bad attitude, Skip. They sure do, Strawberry.", "c": ["Burns", "Darryl Strawberry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Mattingly, get rid of those sideburns. What sideburns? You heard me, hippie.", "c": ["Burns", "Don Mattingly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "You sure did. I did? Whoo-hoo! In your face, Strawberry.", "c": ["Roger Clemens", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "unless, of course, my nine all-stars... fall victim to nine separate misfortunes... and are unable to play tomorrow. But that will never happen.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Well, well. Steve Sax from New York City. I heard some guy got killed in New York... and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that... now, would you, Steve?", "c": ["Police Officers", "Steve Sax"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "But there's hundreds of unsolved murders... in New York City. You don't know when to keep your mouth shut... do you, Saxy boy?", "c": ["Steve Sax", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Can't... lift... arm... or... speak... at... normal... rate.", "c": ["Mike Scioscia"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "No. By tomorrow... you'll barely be able to breathe. Oh... man.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Mike Scioscia"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Good Lord! Gigantism!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Good Lord! Gigantism!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "My player piano! - Oh, man.", "c": ["Woman", "Jose Canseco"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Oh, man.", "c": ["Jose Canseco"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "England's greatest prime minister... was Lord Palmerston! Pitt, the Elder!", "c": ["Wade Boggs", "Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "You watch too many movies, Sax.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Wow! One, please.", "c": ["Ozzie Smith"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "We've seen it, Dad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "For the last time, get rid of those sideburns. I don't know what you think sideburns are, but-- Don't argue with me! Just get rid of them!", "c": ["Burns", "Mattingly"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "That damn hypnotist! My starting pitcher thinks he's a chicken.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "I'm going to report this... to the American Hypnotical Association.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Mattingly! I told you to trim those sideburns. Go home! You're off the team! For good!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "I still like him better than Steinbrenner.", "c": ["Don Mattingly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Mom, they're professional athletes. They're used to this. It rolls right off their backs.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Children, tell me... when your father stops scratching himself.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Mmm... potato chips.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "No, Mom. It counts as a hit. Dad just won the game.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile", "c": ["Song narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 17, "et": "Homer At The Bat"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "I promised you a surprise today... We're going to take a test", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Career Aptitude Normalizing Test-- Or 'CAN'T.'", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "In spite of your masters from Bryn Mawr... you might end up a baby-sitter to dead-eyed fourth graders...", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "while your husband runs naked on a beach... with your marriage counselor!", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "If I could be any animal, I would be: A) a carpenter ant... B) a nurse shark... or, C) a lawyer bird", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "I prefer the smell of: A) gasoline... B) french fries... or, C) bank customers", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Since we have 15 minutes until recess... please put down your pencils... and stare at the front of the room", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Salmon gutter?!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Systems analyst, systems analyst, systems analyst. Systems analyst.", "c": ["Martin", "Other students"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Homemaker? It's like a mommy.", "c": ["Lisa", "Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Before I saw these test results, I had you pegged a drifter.", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Wow. A drifter. Lousy sheriff. Run me out of town. He's lost my vote.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "I might as well be dead.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "The police said I was too dumb.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "I'll be unappreciated in my own country... but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "I may or may not die young. I haven't decided.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Isn't anybody gonna follow in my footsteps?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Oh, Lord, no.", "c": ["Blues musician"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "You've inherited a finger condition... known as stubbiness. It usually comes... from the father's side.", "c": ["Blues musician"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "D'oh! Stupid fingers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "My God, they are stubby.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "I didn't steal that copper wire. I just thought they were throwing it out.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "It's called a baton, son. What's it for? We club people... with it.", "c": ["Lou", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "You run red lights, park wherever you please... hot-and-cold-running chicks.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Tonight his honor is... polling the electorate.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "How would you like a street named after you?", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Dear log... this will be my last entry... for you were a journal of my hopes and dreams... and now, I have none.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "They used nylon rope this time. It feels so smooth my skin-- almost sensuous.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Good thing this alley got so narrow in the middle.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "He's unconscious, sir. Oh, they can still hear things.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "This morning I turned bacon, eggs, and toast... into a smiley face for Bart and Homer... What's the point? They'll never notice.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Hmm, umm, hmm...", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "take a look at these surveillance photos.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "You know what I want to be? The girl on the oatmeal box?", "c": ["Janey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Women can't be astronauts... They distract the men... so they wouldn't keep their minds on the road.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "we'll all live... in cities on the moon... I was wrong about that", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Sleek, vigilant puma-- principal of the mountains.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "That's a bad-girl bathroom!", "c": ["Janey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "you really have to wonder at the mentality... that would desecrate a helpless puma.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Bart Simpson on the side of law and order?! Has the world gone topsy-turvy?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Let's can the euphemisms. How would you like to be a hall monitor?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Ay, caramba.!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "You got yourself a narc.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Oh, we always have one good kid and one lousy kid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Shove it.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "What do you got?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "I'll smoke it in class.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Madre de Dios.! The legends were true!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "and this plastic derriere.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Notice the identical elongated loops on the D's. Forgery!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "So he didn't have leprosy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "There will be no mockery of your name, Mr. Glasscock.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "the Battle of New Orleans. I mean... Andrew Jackson.", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Well, you're earning your 18 grand a year.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Does anyone know... the multiplication table? Please, don't panic. They can smell fear.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Have I ever told you kids about the '60s?", "c": ["Substitute teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Baa!", "c": ["Sheep"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "Simpson, you've just saved this school $120.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "400 days. I can do that standing on my head. All right, 500 days. Ooh! Big man! 600 days.", "c": ["Bart", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "when you do... I'll be right there to borrow money.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 18, "et": "Separate Vocations"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "I don't need your crummy job. I won the lottery! Well, I won the lottery too! We both won the lottery! Why don't you win the lottery too?", "c": ["Unknown workers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Where everybody wins! Actual odds of winning: one in 380 million. The lottery-- exploiter of the poor and ignorant.", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Here's your lottery ticket. Thank you for knocking over my inventory. Come again.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "What's Lisa's birthday? What? You don't know your sister's birthday?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Strap on your bulletproof vest. It's time for another bank run. If I don't make it... promise you won't sleep with my wife. I promise nothing.", "c": ["Unknown characters"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "The lottery is the one ray of hope... in my otherwise unbearable life! Uh, the lottery and you.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Yes, money-- I mean honey.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "In fact, every copy of Shirley Jackson's The Lottery has been checked out from the library. The book does not contain hints on winning the lottery. It is a chilling tale of conformity gone mad.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Just think what we can buy with that money-- history books that know how the Korean War came out... and a state-of-the-art detention hall... where children are held in place with magnets.", "c": ["School official"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Magnets-- always with the magnets.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Homer, the odds are 380 million to one. Correction: 380 million to 50!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Bank it. Give it to the poor. What do kids know about spending money?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Look closer, Lenny. Oh, you're the biggest man in the world now... and you're covered in gold. 14-karat gold.", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "I've got so many tickets I can't lose. The first number is 17. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "If you were 17, we'd be rich. But no, you had to be ten.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "The winner of today's state lottery is... me, Kent Brockman. Can we get a shot of me? There you go. In other news, uh... a tragic mix-up today in Cleveland. Many people killed. Uh... good-bye!", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Oh, well, we lost the money... but we've still got each other. Hey, the dog's dead.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "He's not dead. Don't say the dog's dead when he's not. It's not fair to toy with people's emotions. He is dead. I'll get a shovel.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "If Grandpa says he's dead, he must be alive.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Dogs wag their tails for hours after they die.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "I love animals. I spend my life saving them, and they can't thank me. The parrots can, but--", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "In doggie heaven, there's mountains of bones... and you can't turn around... without sniffing another dog's butt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "One of the Lassies is in there too. The mean one-- the one that mauled Timmy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Lousy, dog-killing son-of-a-- Well, it will be okay. We'll get him a new dog-- one with an untwistable stomach.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Dogs are idiots. If I came into your house... and started sniffing at your crotch... and slobbering all over your face... what would you say? If you did it, sir? Exactly. You'd be fit to be tied.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "You are not performing that operation yourself. But, Marge, it looks so easy. Just like carving a turkey.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Fried chicken night will be organ meat night. Ham night will be spam night, and pork chop night... will be chub night. I don't even know what that is.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "But next week is volume four-- Copernicus through elephantiasis.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Marge, I've figured out... an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats. I don't think you've thought this through.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "We saved your gamecock... but he'll never fight again. That's what you think. He'll fight and he'll win.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Patient"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "It's times like this... I'm glad I flunked out of dental school.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Lousy chub night. Hey, how come... he gets meat and we don't? You wouldn't want what he's eating. It's mostly snouts and entrails. Mmm... snouts.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "He's got all the money in the world... but there's one thing he can't buy. What's that? A dinosaur.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Here, lottery officials present Springfield Elementary... with a brand-new eraser. One eraser? I'm used to my government betraying me. I served for--", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Skinner", "Veteran"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Oh, no! Those are my numbers. If it wasn't for that dog, I would have won.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Who's that old rummy? Before his dog got sick... that old rummy used to be my best customer.", "c": ["Patron", "Moe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "I know you can't understand me... but you're a lousy dog and I hate you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "I know you can't understand me... but you're a lousy dog and I hate you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean tonight. The dog will get out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Wait! There he is! No, that's a horse.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "I can't wait to start pawing through my garbage... like some starving raccoon.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "He's been here since the late '60s. I'll never forget the day he bagged his first hippie. That young man didn't think it was too groovy.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Wiry, fast, firm, proud buttocks. Reminds me of me.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "If that was a Girl Scout... I'd have been bothered by now.", "c": ["Attack dog trainer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Remember? Doggie heaven? Oh, Marge! There is no such place. Or... to put it another way... there is.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Since I won the lottery... everybody wants a piece of Kent Brockman-- homeless this and hungry that.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "Sir, your llama just bit Ted Kennedy. Good!", "c": ["Assistant", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "You can pet the cat. The cat? What's the point?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 19, "et": "Dog Of Death"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Marge, that's just a suggested car size.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "We're getting a lot of sparks here, Dad. / Uh-huh. Easy. Easy. Perfect. All right, everybody, out the window.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Ernest Cuts the Cheese! Honey, I Hit a School Bus! Look Who's Oinking!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Why, Marge, you frisky little devil. [Sexy Growl]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Get me Jed Colic!", "c": ["Movie President"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.19, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, this movie's too complicated. / Hey, the floor's sticky.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Who's that guy? What did that guy say when I said, 'Who's that guy?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Look, you can see the strings. Ooh! An octopus!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "If you don't watch the violence, you'll never get desensitized to it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "It's pretty obvious if you think about it. / Shut up, Homer! No one wants to hear what you think! / Yeah!", "c": ["Homer", "Theater Patron", "Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Homer, if it makes you feel any better... most of what they threw at you splattered on me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "His tendons are throbbing. Stress is collecting in the trouble spots-- here, here, and here-- making for one unhappy pappy.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Marge, I have always carried myself... with a certain quiet dignity. Tonight, you robbed me of it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "I guess that executive stress ball we got him isn't working.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Eww, a skunk.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Ooh, a redneck bar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, you, let's fight. / Them's fightin' words.", "c": ["Bar Patron 1", "Bar Patron 2"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "We don't sell Duff. We sell Fudd. / Okay, Fudd me.", "c": ["Bartender", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "It's a song I wrote while I was mopping up your dried blood and teeth.", "c": ["Lurleen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "That's right, except for the truck.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before. And which way to the can?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "That's a pretty name. / You think so? / Maybe. I'm not sure. I forgot it.", "c": ["Homer", "Lurleen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Let's end this feudin' and a-fussin' and get down to some lovin'.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Doctor, you weren't supposed to remove his gall bladder. Put it back! Put it back!", "c": ["TV Doctor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Gee, Homer's singing to his ball again. / He's bowling a 280.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Fudd? They took that off the market after all those hillbillies went blind.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. You went to another bar? / Moe, I was 100 miles out of town. / Oh, Homer.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "'I'm Basting a Turkey With My Tears'... 'Don't Look Up My Dress Unless You Mean It'... 'I'm Sick of Your Lying Lips and False Teeth.'", "c": ["Lurleen"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "We've got to crack open your head and scoop out those songs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "This is KUDD 570 AM. Don't touch that dial. You've got KUDD on it.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "I thought I told you to stay away from my sister! / Oh, here's 50 bucks. Take her to the Copa.", "c": ["Bar Patron", "Same Patron"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "It's payback time. / Puts this whole riot into perspective, doesn't it?", "c": ["Rioter", "Another Rioter"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "I could feel her country soul in every digitally encoded bit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Country music sucks. It takes precious air space from shock deejays... whose cruelty and profanity amuse us all.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "like that jerk in the cowboy hat and that dead lady.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "All I did was spend the afternoon in her trailer... watching her try on some outfits.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "I was gonna ask for some water, but now I feel guilty about it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "You're just a big sack of sugar. / Thanks. You did say 'sugar,' right?", "c": ["Lurleen", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "I should warn you, I'm not great with figures. / That's okay. / I make stupid decisions. / Nobody's perfect. / I did bad in school. / I didn't even go.", "c": ["Homer", "Lurleen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "This is made from a space-age fabric... developed especially for Elvis. Sweat actually cleans this suit.", "c": ["Store Clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Your boyhood dream was to eat the world's biggest hoagie. You did it at the county fair last year, remember?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Buddy Holly stood here in 1958 and said, 'There is no way in hell I'll record in this dump.'", "c": ["Studio owner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Buddy Holly stood here in 1958 and said... 'There is no way in hell I'll record in this dump.'", "c": ["Studio Manager"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "I thought you said she was overweight. / It takes two to lie-- one to lie and one to listen.", "c": ["Lurleen", "Producer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, Dad, can I do a hambone solo? / Stop it.", "c": ["Producer's Son", "Producer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "We're getting a grinding noise on the track. / You, off the bench.", "c": ["Sound Engineer", "Producer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Hey! Oh, you meant that as a compliment.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, that's hot. There isn't a man alive who wouldn't get turned on by that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "while you and Lurleen were out judging that greased pig contest... Maggie got her first tooth.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "That's great, honey. Have you seen my rattlesnake hatband?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "As much as I hate that man right now... you got to love that suit.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass army guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "My whole romantic life is flashing before my eyes. / Gross!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Just so I don't wonder--you would have gone all the way with me? / Uh-huh. / Ooh. Okay.", "c": ["Lurleen", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "I have to tell you... I'm desperate to unload Lurleen and I'll take any offer. / I'll give you 50 bucks. / You son of a-- Sold.", "c": ["Homer", "Record Executive"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "I caught my wife in bed... with my best friend. / You bitter? / Yep. Bit him too.", "c": ["Bar Patron", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "Is there any room in that bed for a dad-burned fool? / Always has been.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "I do.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 20, "et": "Colonel Homer"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Would you turn off that rock 'n' rock music?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Don't have a stegosaurus, man.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "These talking dinosaurs are more real than most real families on TV.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "It's like they saw our lives and put it up on screen.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Cool, he can teach us how to kill a man with a lunch tray.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Then why aren't you using the good silverware? - I'm just not.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Aah! It's Sideshow Bob!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Bart is the shamus in short pants who sent me to prison.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "If some snot-nosed little kid sent me to prison, the first thing out I'd find out where he lives and tear him a new belly-button.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "You're forgetting the first two noble truths of the Buddha. - I am not. - Yes, you are.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "When prison ended that dream, I became a seething cauldron of rage and recrimination.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "This is one more Emmy than you'll ever win, you bantering jack-in-the-box!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Just don't drop it in the shower.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Do you know what prison is like for a life-long Republican?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Who used my chap stick? - Oh, I did. Here you go. - I don't want it.", "c": ["Prison inmates"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "But what kind of guest would I have been?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "No Emmys, no Oscars, not even a Golden Globe.", "c": ["Prison guard"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "I share an apartment with my twin sister. Enclosed is a photo of us on a tandem bike. I forget which one I am.", "c": ["Selma (reading letter)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "your latest letter set off a riot in the maximum-security wing of my heart", "c": ["Sideshow Bob (reading letter)"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Like the lone crocus that pokes through the prison yard, our love bloomed despite all obstacles.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Cutter. Icepick. Snake. I'm going to miss you most of all.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "You're living proof that our revolving-door prison system works.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "You seized the wheel of my slow boat to hell, and pointed it towards the sunny shores of Selma.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Though kissing you is like kissing some divine ashtray, that's not what I had in mind.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Don't be a fool. That man is scum. - Then call me 'Mrs. Scum.'", "c": ["Bart", "Selma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "'A'... 'G'... 'Q'... Seven... Close enough. May you drive safely and find true love.", "c": ["DMV worker"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "You should see the bus they came to the studio in.", "c": ["TV host"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "If they open the books on this telethon I'm right back in there.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but, brother, it ain't ketchup!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "I bought stock in a Mace company just before society crumbled.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Holy frijoles! We've got ten minutes till MacGyver. Driver, here's a fin. Get me home, and don't spare the whip.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Don't thank me. Thank the moon's gravitational pull.", "c": ["MacGyver (on TV)"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "First of all, he's not a genius. He's an actor. And second, he's not much of an actor.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "that was a well-plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me retch.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "I go to a bar, I pound a few, then I stumble home in the mood for love.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Bart no like. Bad medicine.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Oh, gee, a joke, huh? Um... uh... funny. Okay, this guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano and a 12-inch pianist-- Oh, no, wait. I can't tell that one.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "41 years ago, God took 168 pounds of clay, and he made me a woman, and for this, I thank him.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Lighten up, son. If he was going to commit a crime, would he have invited the number-one cop in town? Now, where did I put my gun? Oh, yeah. I set it down when I got some cake.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Enjoy your rest. The wedding was very tough on you, and the honeymoon is going to be... murder.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "I wanted a room with a fireplace, you brainless luggage monkey!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Ah, fire-- Scourge of Prometheus, toaster of marshmallows, eradicator of deadwood.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Even murder has its ugly side.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Soon I will kill you. - Huh? - Son pieds sentit beau-- French for 'her foot smells lovely.'", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Voy a matar a usted. - Wha? - That's Spanish for 'I am going to kill you.' - Say what?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Selma"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Don't forget to die. - Ding-dong.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "My best-laid plans have gang agley.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Her only hope was a plucky young boy and his slow-witted father.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "After trying four times to explain it to Homer, I explained it to Mom and we were on our way!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "Oh, I'll field that one. [EXPLOSION] Oh, right, the gas.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 21, "et": "Black Widower"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "I want to whip eggs at the warm-up act", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Wow, my concert-going jacket still fits. And this is where I used to hide my beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Billy Beer!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "My little guy's first rock concert. I hope the Spinal Taps don't play too loud.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Oh, I went to thousands of heavy metal concerts... and it never hurt me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "I hear you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "There goes Davy Crockett... in his bald-skin cap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "''Tapping'' into the ''spines'' of young voters, huh?", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.46, "im": 3.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket. It cost me 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Boy, some of the best times I've ever had... were in the back seat of a car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Ohhh... Oh, baby.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Official tour '92 T-shirts, $31. Check it out-- Spinal Tap kicking Moammar Khadafy... in the butt. A timeless classic.", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "After the Berlin Wall fell our records started selling... on the dismal side of the Iron Curtain. That gave us a boost. We're big in Bulgaria, and the other Garia.", "c": ["Spinal Tap member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Hungaria?", "c": ["Spinal Tap member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Who's benefited... more from the death of communism than us? Maybe the people who live in communist countries.", "c": ["Spinal Tap members"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "But we each just bought our own soccer team. How many Hungarios can say that?", "c": ["Spinal Tap member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "We don't know that. What if somebody rocks as good as you? Or better. We don't want to look stupid.", "c": ["Spinal Tap member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Well, I don't want to lie. Six days a week the place is a hockey rink.", "c": ["Venue manager"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Well, this is a rock concert... not the bleedin'... splish-splash show.", "c": ["Spinal Tap member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Medium setting.", "c": ["Spinal Tap member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "That's only four miles from my house!", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Well, it seems some silly twit... did not get a big enough oxygen pump... but that's supposed to be a devil. Filled with air, it's very evil and impressive. We salute you, our half-inflated dark lord!", "c": ["Spinal Tap member"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "People think there are only five members of Spinal Tap... but they're wrong. Could we turn up the house lights? That was the cue to turn up the lights... so we can tell the audience... they're the sixth member of the freakin' group!", "c": ["Spinal Tap member"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Aah! My vision. That's it. Show's over. Good night, Springden. There will be no encores.", "c": ["Spinal Tap member"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "They were only on for 20 minutes. What a gyp.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Tonight the city weeps... as for the first time ever... a hockey arena becomes the scene of violence... following a concert by Spinal Tap.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "It would be wrong to suggest... this sort of mayhem began with rock and roll. After all, there were riots... at the premiere of Mozart's The Magic Flute. So, what's the answer-- ban all music? In this reporter's opinion, the answer is yes.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "I meant a real guitar. This is real.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "We spent a lot of money... so you get real good, real fast, or pow.!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "I'd like to play me latest chart topper. It's called... ''Me Fans Are Stupid Pigs.''", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Slag off. You've changed, man. It used to be about the music. I said slag off!.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Hey, Simpson... what are you trying to play? ''Polly-wolly Doodle.'' Oh, yeah? Well, it sounds Polly-wolly crappy.", "c": ["School kids", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Burn.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "That's all I did in high school. My old man said I was wasting my time... and I'd never amount to anything. I, uh... Hmm.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "We don't have seat belts. Uh... Well, then just try to go limp.", "c": ["Kids", "Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "It's a miracle... no one was hurt. I stand on my record-- 1 5 crashes and not a single fatality.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Let's see your license, pal. No can do. Never got one. If you need proof of my identity... I wrote my name on my underwear. Oh, wait-- these aren't mine.", "c": ["Police officer", "Otto"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Where's Otto? That's one palindrome you won't be hearing for a while.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Nonsense. One of our good citizens will slow down and wave me in. Nope.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "I was thinking about the time... Homer caught his nose in the toaster. We'll watch the tape tonight.", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "My name's Patty. I'll be testing you. When you do good, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, one: Have you always been a chick? No offense, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me. I'm open-minded.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Well, you failed every segment... and misspelled ''bus'' on your application. Drag.", "c": ["Patty", "Otto"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "All I found in there was a jar of mustard... and a couple of old Cycle magazines. Wow! I had mustard?", "c": ["Landlord", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Otto man? You're living in a Dumpster? Oh, man, I wish. Dumpster brand trash bins are top-of-the-line. This is just a Trash-co waste disposal unit.", "c": ["Bart", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Mom, I thought... you might forget... our conversation this afternoon... so I took the precaution of recording it. What conversation? Mom, can Otto live in our garage? He sure can.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "The admiral and I don't get along.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "But doesn't the Bible also say... ''Thou shalt not take... moochers into thy... hut''?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "The can of corn costs... 57 \u00a2! I could sure go for a can of corn.", "c": ["Homer", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Uh, you got any of those Where's Waldo? books? No. - Anything from the vampire's point of view? - No. Anything where guys... send in naked pictures of their chicks?", "c": ["Otto", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet... next to your shortwave radio... your karate outfit, and your unicycle... and we'll go inside and watch TV.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Hey, Pop-N-Fresh! You're supposed to giggle. Gyyaaagh!!", "c": ["Otto", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Did the maniac kill her? Natch. You know how I know? How? Because... I was that maniac.", "c": ["Lisa", "Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "This is not Happy Days, and he is not the Fonz. Hey-y-y, Mr. S.", "c": ["Homer", "Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "There's plenty of money out there... for a guy who knows how to fake his own death.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Wow. I've never been called an adult before. I've been tried as one, but...", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "''Alcohol increases your ability to drive.'' False?! Oh, man!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "He didn't call you a bum. He called you a sponge. Sponge?! Does this look like something a sponge would do?! I'll show him... who's a sponge.", "c": ["Bart", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "So I can staple my license... to Homer Simpson's big bald head!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Homer had a piece of food on his face for three days. It wasn't little either. It was a chicken wing.", "c": ["Bus kids"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "Yes, hail to the bus driver... bus driver man.", "c": ["Kids singing"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 22, "et": "The Otto Show"}, {"t": "What the..? D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Cool-- An oversize novelty billiard ball. You shake it up and it tells the future.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Will I pass my English test? ''Outlook not so good.'' Wow, it does work!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Will... I get beat up today? ''All signs point to yes.'' That ball knows everything.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Will Milhouse and I be friends when we're high school dropouts living off Uncle Sucker?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Yeah, sure, and they told me I'd get a big parade when I got back from 'Nam. Instead, they spat on me. I can still feel it searing.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "I can still feel it searing.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "I see you beat that bed-wetting problem. Don't worry. They'll forget... just like they forgot about me in that tiger cage for 18 agonizing months.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Every night I wake up screaming. Well, let's meet your classmates.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Great.Just keep packing them in, Seymour. We should discuss this later.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Please say a big elementary school hello to Samantha Stinky. Stanky. Oh, right. How embarrassing for you. Well, good-bye.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "He came here because of the high crime rate and lackluster police force.", "c": ["Samantha"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that you're all probably used to but I'm not. It takes about six weeks.", "c": ["Samantha", "Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "When I find out who hit me with ball I'm going to tear them a new..!", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint:: Delicious But Deadly and Here Comes The Metric System.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Boring.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Eww! She's faking it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Nine months later Fluffy gave birth to 14 beautiful bunnies. Eight survive.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Because Mr. Krabappel chased something fluffy down a rabbit hole.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Most of you will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "God, shmod-- I want my monkey man.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "God, shmod-- I want my monkey man.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "My girlfriend's dancing topless at the airport bar from 4:15 to 4:20.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Got any girl comics like Bonnie Crane, Girl Attorney Punkin and Dunkin, the Twinkle Twins or Li'l Knee Socks?", "c": ["Samantha"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "No, but my sister's got a wide selection of crappy comics.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "That excess blubber could fill two-fifths of the Grand Canyon. That may not sound impressive but keep in mind, it is a very big canyon.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "But in real life Santa would be suffering from gall stones hypertension, impotence, and diabetes.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "I wish they had never invented fried cheese.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "We call it the Good Morning Burger.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Next, your Mickey Mantle for my picture of Homer on the couch.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Well, you kind of sort of are.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Well, you kind of sort of are.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "You know, like when you open an Eskimo Pie and you wait just a little for it to melt? But she doesn't melt. Oh, yes, she does.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "What do you say to that? Give me the weight loss tape.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Would he like to lose weight, stop smoking learn the state capitals, master hostage negotiations..? Hmm... hostage negotiations.", "c": ["Phone operator", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "We're out of ''Subliminally Slim.'' Uh... send them the vocabulary builder.", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Lamentably, no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satiety.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "No one has sat next to me since I successfully lobbied to have the school day extended by 20 minutes.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Forbearance is the watchword. That triumvirate of twinkies overwhelmed my resolve.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Here in the boudoir the gourmand metamorphosizes into... the voluptuary!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Here in the boudoir the gourmand metamorphosizes into... the voluptuary!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "What in God's name are you talking about?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Listen, Bart, there's such a thing as spending too much time together.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Samantha and Milhouse sitting in a tree About to lose their privacy", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Now there's a Machiavellian countenance. Ooh, a sextet of ale!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Let's just say I'm concerned prude with lot of time on his hands.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Well, 'tis better to have loved and lost... yatta, yatta, yatta.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "We started out like Romeo and Juliet but it ended up in tragedy.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "We started out like Romeo and Juliet but it ended up in tragedy.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Disingenuous mountebanks with their subliminal chicanery-- A pox on them!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Five fingers? Ooh-- Freak show!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Milhouse is out bed and full beans.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Marge... where's that... metal dealie... you use to... dig... food? You mean, a spoon?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "You mean, a spoon? Yeah, yeah, yeah!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "Samantha, ne pas des boys.", "c": ["French Canadian Nun"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "It's 50 rosaries a kiss.", "c": ["Samantha"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "It's 50 rosaries a kiss. Oh, what the heck.", "c": ["Samantha"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "They all look alike to me. Now, let's go whip donuts at old people.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 23, "et": "Barts Friend Falls In Love"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer, can I borrow your underwear? / Nah.", "c": ["Unknown coworker", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "This man has 104% body fat.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Hey, no eating in the tank. / Go to hell.", "c": ["Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Oh, the usual-- stand in front of this. Open that. Pull down this. Bend over. Spread apart that. Turn your head that way. Cough.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "A cabbagehead from sector 7-G.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Let me make one thing clear. I want your legal advice. I even pay for it. But to me, you're all vipers. You live on personal injury, on divorces. You live on pain and misery! But I'm rambling. Anybody want coffee?", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Want it black, don't you? Black like your heart.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "I hate you all so much! I'm sorry. It's my problem. I'll deal with it.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Oh, a cash settlement. I could have figured that out, you buttoned-down maggot!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Yeah, I used to be rich. I owned Mickey Mouse massage parlors. Then those Disney sleazeballs shut me down. I said, 'I'll change the logo-- put Mickey's pants on.' Some guys you just can't reason with.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "You ever drive a Tempura hatchback?", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "I'm ruined!", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Overblown, don't you think? What about New Coke? Hey! I invented that.", "c": ["Herb", "Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Well, I'm licked. / Me too.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "I do this for Stainmaster carpets... proud sponsor of the living room Olympics.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "What the hell are you..? Oh, my couch! The arms, the seat-- The dream is over.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "We were sitting on the couch when we heard a creaking noise. We leapt off just in time to see it collapse. There, there. You're safe now, little sister.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "That's right. I shot J.R.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Well, friend, you're going back where you came from-- the curb in front of Flanders's house.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Lady, you just gave me... the idea of a lifetime. How do I thank you? Don't hurt me. Consider it done.", "c": ["Herb", "Mother"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Yeah, you going to be okay? Yeah. You know, my life just can't get any worse. That's right. There's no way my life could possibly get any worse.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Outstanding Achievement in the Field of... Excellence.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "This is the biggest farce I ever saw. What about the Emmys? I stand corrected.", "c": ["Unknown", "Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Webster's Dictionary defines excellence as 'the quality or condition of being excellent.'", "c": ["Joe Frazier"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Heavyweight championship. There's three of those. That couch was one of a kind.", "c": ["Joe Frazier", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "All right! A peanut.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Then how come you're still a bum? All right. A man needs two things-- an idea and money to get it off the ground.", "c": ["Unknown", "Herb"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Wow! The Spinemelter 2000.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "There's an empty spot inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends. I think this chair is the answer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Now excuse me while I kiss the sky.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "That's where you're wrong, friend. Today's our tithe day... and we've got ourselves a transient.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Dad, can I anoint the sores on his feet? I think it's Mom's turn, son. Oh, no fair.", "c": ["Rod", "Ned", "Tod"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "They're singing again. Lousy neighbors. Wish I was deaf.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but I'm still mad at you. Every word you say makes me want to punch you. In my home, could you just kick me in the butt? I'll try, but I'm not making any promises.", "c": ["Herb", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "I've been living in a cardboard box... sleeping on grates, eating out of Dumpsters. You? Can't complain.", "c": ["Herb", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "This is one of our many light switches. It functions in both the on and off mode. On, off. On, off. He knows how to work a light switch. Oh, yeah, right.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "I got the recipe from the Utility Grade Beef Council. They do good work.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Discarded pizza boxes... are an inexpensive source of cheese.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Dear Lisa, last night... I used a rat for a pillow thanks to your pop", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "1150 bones. That's all I got. Broke again, eh, Herb? Just like in real life. I guess you're just not much of a businessman.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "We should get a machine gun. We could hunt game, spell out things... or ring in the new year.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "'Paradise Regained, Martin Chuzzlewit... or Herman Melville's twin classics, Omoo and Typee.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "It's drinking the water! Take it easy, Homer. This is an example... This is the greatest invention in the world. You'll make a million dollars. No, that invention is out already.", "c": ["Homer", "Herb"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Everything from 'change me' to 'turn off that damn Raffi record.'", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Then give me... the drinking bird.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "I want to suck your nose. / Hooga-booga, hooga-booga. / I'm scared.", "c": ["Maggie", "Homer", "Maggie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I can't believe we blew 2,000 bucks on it... when right now... rollers could be kneading my buttocks. Could you stop thinking about your ass? I try, but I can't.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Lavish attention on me... and entertain me.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I can't believe we blew 2,000 bucks on it... when right now... rollers could be kneading my buttocks. Could you stop thinking about your ass? I try, but I can't.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "I have soiled myself. How embarrassing.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "I only want to eat candy. / Then that's all you'll get. / This leash demeans us both.", "c": ["Baby", "Parent", "Baby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Can I get armor-piercing, cyanide-tipped bullets? It's in the Constitution.", "c": ["Bart", "Herb"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "I want what the dog's eating. / D'oh! / I'll get you... something nice.", "c": ["Maggie", "Homer", "Herb"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "Homer, I bought you the damn chair.", "c": ["Herb"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 3, "e": 24, "et": "Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Mrs. Krabappel. If I don't get a 'C' average, my dad won't let me go to Kamp Krusty. Well, it isn't fair to the other children, but all right.", "c": ["Bart", "Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Much obliged, doll!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Attention, everyone. This is Principal Skinner. I trust you all remembered to bring in your implements of destruction. Now, let's trash this dump.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Wake up, boy. [Groans, Gasps] I dreamt it was the last day of school. Well, it is. Oh, how do I know this isn't some beautiful dream too?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "You know, a pinch is more traditional. [Loud Gobbling, Belching]", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Sure do! When you're 18, you're out the door!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Remember, when you see my report card, they got this new grading system this year. It now goes, 'D,' 'B,' 'A,' 'C.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "If you want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "[Man] Seventeen, 32-- D'oh! five-- D'oh! eight-- Whoo-hoo! 47. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Thirty-six, 24, 36. Ha, ha, ha.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I've never gotten a 'B' before. How could this have happened? I feel so dirty!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "The dirt's not coming off! [Panting]", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Now, Lisa, everyone needs a blotch on their permanent record. Perhaps I'm not making myself clear. [Hysterical Giggle] I think you should reconsider. Lisa, you're hurting me!", "c": ["Miss Hoover", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I'd also like to add, as I gaze upon your beauty... I've never seen an angel fly so low. Forget it, short pants.", "c": ["Bart", "Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Have a 'D'-lightful summer! [Laughing]", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "We won! Yea! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I haven't seen such unfettered hurly-burly since the fall of Saigon.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Make sure to give those toilets a good scrubbing. We want the old girls sparkling when I get back. Aye, sir. Eh, you silk-wearing buttercup!", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "All right! Three whole months of Spaghetti Os and daytime TV!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "You bet. Check out this hand. All aces. [Laughing] A-plus!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Oh, Bart, why didn't you at least forge plausible grades?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Hey! Kamp Krusty is built on an actual Indian burial ground.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "And for you fat kids... my exclusive program of diet and ridicule... will really get results.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "D'oh! Stupid roller skate.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "You don't think much of me, do you, boy? No, sir. You know, a 'D' turns into a 'B' so easily. You just got greedy.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Now, Bart, we made this deal because I thought it would help you get good grades. And you didn't. But why should you pay for my mistake?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I didn't want you hanging around all summer anyway.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Thanks, son. Now, you've got little hands. Can you reach under that mower and pull out that skate? [Engine Starts] Phew. Never mind.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I'm gonna swim 'nekkid.' You're what? Ah, sure, there'll be a couple of up-tight counselors... who won't dig the Bart philosophy... but I feel the human body is a thing of beauty.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Marge, am I crazy or is my back getting hairier?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "There's only one known cure-- a 'wowwipop.' [Chuckling] Don't patronize me, Doctor.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Hey, hands off my pickle! I don't see your name on it, boy. No, but-- Oh, yeah? Check... mate! Always thinking two moves ahead.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Spare me your euphemisms. It's fat camp for Daddy's chubby little secret! You promised you wouldn't make a scene.", "c": ["Martin", "Martin's Mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Remember: leaves of three, let it be. Leaves of four, eat some more. [Laughing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Don't look in my closet. In fact, stay out of my room altogether. If the pets die, don't replace them. I'll know!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "So long! Don't come back!", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I'll see you in a few weeks. Until then, I've turned things over... to my bestest buddy in the whole wide world-- [Dubbed Voice] Mr. Black. I want you to treat-- [Dubbed Voice] Mr. Black. with the same respect you would give me. Now here's-- [Dubbed Voice] Mr. Black.", "c": ["Krusty", "Mr. Black"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "For the past 15 years, I was president of Euro-Krustyland... until it blew up.", "c": ["Mr. Black"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Can we call you Uncle Blackie? No. Last question. When do we get to see Krusty? Uh, he will be along eventually.", "c": ["Child", "Mr. Black", "Another Child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "In the meantime, our counselors Dolph, Jimbo and Kearney... will be happy to handle any problems you may have.", "c": ["Mr. Black"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Looks like we got ourselves a troublemaker. [Grunting]", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Here's your cabin. If you don't like it, T.S.", "c": ["Counselor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "This is a little more rustic than I expected. I'm not worried, Lise. You know why? Because of this. The Krusty Brand Seal of Approval.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Oops. I should've warned you. That clock gets incredibly hot if you leave it plugged in.", "c": ["Counselor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Don't we get to roast marshmallows? Shut up and eat your pinecone.", "c": ["Child", "Counselor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Well, it ain't gettin' any safer.", "c": ["Counselor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "All right, you balls of pan drippings! I want to see Crisco coming out of those pores! We're not leaving until this Christmas ham gives me a pull-up.", "c": ["Counselor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "You're serving us gruel? Not quite. This is Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel. Nine out of 10 orphans can't tell the difference.", "c": ["Child", "Counselor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Yo, Mr. Black. Another brandy. Gentlemen, to evil.", "c": ["Mr. Black", "Counselors"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Marge, since the kids left, I've lost five pounds! Oh, that's wonderful! And look-- new hair! I'm this close to having a comb-over.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart. We're all gonna die, Lise. I meant soon. So did I.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Hey, Lendl! Choke! Choke! Yeah! [Man] Point and game, Becker. And will the harlequin in the third row Please keep his voice down? [Chortles] Sorry, folks.", "c": ["Krusty", "Announcer", "Official"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Hey, Simpson! Tell your mom her cookies sucked.", "c": ["Counselor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Dear Mom and Dad, I no longer fear hell... because I've been to Kamp Krusty.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "A snake bit me. Back in line, maggot!", "c": ["Child", "Counselor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Come on, wimps! These Gucci wallets have to be on the streets of Hong Kong by Friday.", "c": ["Counselor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Krusty is coming. Krusty is coming. Krusty's coming. But I am far more pessimistic.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Ah, kids' letters from camp. Oh, she complains now, but when we go to pick her up, she won't want to leave.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Lisa, I've been thinking it over. Next summer, I'm getting a job. [Moaning]", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Marge, we've got all the fireworks we need right here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "See? I told you Krusty would come. Just like I said. He's gonna bring us food and water, and smite our enemies!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Now, I must tell you kids, Krusty has laryngitis and a bad back... so he won't be saying anything or doing anything. Krusty looks fat. He's really having trouble keeping his balance. He's still funny, but not ha-ha funny.", "c": ["Mr. Black", "Children"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "That's not Krusty the Clown! [Kids Gasping] What do you think? I slapped a clown suit on some wino? [Nervous Laughing] I mean, I-- Yeah, Bart. I am so Krunchy the Clown! [Belches]", "c": ["Bart", "Mr. Black", "Fake Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "All right. That's it. I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from those Krusty Brand vitamins. My Krusty calculator didn't have a seven or an eight! And Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions. But this time, he's gone too far!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "We want Krusty! We want Krusty! We want Krusty! Yeah, we want Krunchy! We want Krunchy!", "c": ["Children", "Fake Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "My chunky brothers, gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom! [Cheering] [Slurping] Ahh! Sweet, nourishing gruel!", "c": ["Bart", "Children"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Kowalski! My brownies! Wiggum! A change of underwear! Crandall! My insulin!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Bart! You said you were gonna name it Camp Freedom! Aah, this has more zing. I dub thee Sir-- Urgent call for Mr. Clown.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Phone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq... and I can say without hyperbole... that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "[Thinking] Don't be the boy. Don't be the boy. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I just want the whole world to know that this was a really crappy camp. Can I say 'crappy' on TV? Yes, on this network, you can.", "c": ["Bart", "Reporter"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Is it true you attempted suicide when you heard the news? Are you and Princess Di just friends? You people make me sick! You're vultures! Where were you when I sang at Farm Aid? Out of my way, you parasites! I said, out of my way!", "c": ["Reporter", "Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I'm no fake. I'm the real Krusty. Oh, yeah? Who played your daughter in the short-lived sitcom President Clown? I don't know her name, but she held up a liquor store last year.", "c": ["Krusty", "Reporter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I smell bacon. Let's see if he's wearing a wire! Hey! Whoa! No! Not the face! [Gasping] It is the real Krusty. Look at that pacemaker scar, the cattle skull birthmark... and his famous superfluous nipple.", "c": ["Child", "Krusty", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "At least you're not as bad as Customs. How could you, Krusty? I'd never lend my name to an inferior product. [Loud Sobbing] Oh! They drove a dump truck full of money up to my house. I'm not made of stone!", "c": ["Krusty", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "Krusty, this camp was a nightmare. They fed us gruel. They forced us to make wallets for export. And one of the campers was eaten by a bear. Oh, my God! [Sobbing] Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat. Was it a nice hat? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God!", "c": ["Lisa", "Krusty", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "I'm gonna make it up to you. I'm gonna show you kids the time of your life. Get ready for two weeks at the Happiest Place on Earth-- Tijuana! [Cheering]", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 1, "et": "Kamp Krusty"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Smell like Streep For cheap!", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Token black panelist, Drederick Tatum", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Memo to Goldie Hawn: cheerleading tryouts were 30 years ago. Let's grow up, shall we?", "c": ["Mr. Boswell"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "He's such a bitch.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "You know, I spend all day alone with Maggie... and sometimes it's like I don't even exist. - Sounds interesting.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "She, uh-- Good for her.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "And I'd like to apologize one last time... for my unfortunate remarks at the United Nations.", "c": ["Debra Jo Smallwood"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Kids, back me up. - He's right, Mom. - Sorry. Match point-- Homer.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, indeedily-doodily. Uh, I've even been in Streetcar once before. I played Blanche DuBois. Mm-hmm. Just part of the fun Of going to an all-male school.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "I have directed three plays in my career... and I have had three heart attacks. That's how much I care. I'm planning for a fourth.", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "While directing Hats Off to Hanukkah... I reduced more than one cast member to tears. Did I expect too much from fourth graders?", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "The review, 'Play Enjoyed By All,' speaks for itself.", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Schnell! Schnell! Schnell!", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, ye gods!", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Hey, man, if you like that, you should see my butt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "All right. I'll pick up a bucket Of fried chicken, extra skin... rolls, chocolate cream parfait--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Stop bothering my Blanche!", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "I feel like Lucie Arnaz Luckinbill.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Are there any jive-talking robots in this play?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Is there any frontal nudity?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "My name is 'Ot-to!' I'm playing 'Pab-lo!'", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Well, would anyone else like a bite of banality?", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Aww, isn't that cute! And me without a camera.", "c": ["Day care worker"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "She's saying, 'I am a leech.'", "c": ["Day care worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "but we're the only day care center in town... that's not currently under investigation by the state.", "c": ["Day care worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Hate to be an armchair Blanche... but I always gave it one of these-- There. There's the ol' face-shredder.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "I'm, uh-- I'm gonna crawl into bed with a bottle of amaretto. Good day.", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "7-1 0 split.", "c": ["Electronic Voice"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "you forgot that other people have problems too.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Don't like to nap, eh? We have a place for babies like you-- the box!", "c": ["Day care worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "All right, let 'ham-ateur' night in Dixie commence.", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Couldn't she just take his abuse with gentle good humor?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Marge, every second you spend with this man... he is crushing your fragile spirit. You can't let that happen.", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "I'm trying. I'm trying. [Straining]", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "An' I'll talk like 'is. Bob's yer uncle, mate.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "I'm livin' in a cuckoo clock!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "For God's sakes, you can pull the lid off your own can of pudding!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "My pudding is trapped forever! So I can open my own can Of pudding, can I? Shows what you know, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Keep yelling, you big ape.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, wait, there is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "'Cause I don't care, okay? I can't fake an interest in this... and I'm an expert at faking an interest in your kooky projects.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Hello, Maggie. Poor little 'dummard.'", "c": ["Day care worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "If I break, buy a new one. [Laughs]", "c": ["Maggie (implied)"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "[Shudders] Babies.", "c": ["Day care worker"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Except you. You're not working out. I'll be playing your part.", "c": ["Llewellyn Sinclair"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "# New Orleans # # Stinking, rotten 'vomity' vile #", "c": ["Chorus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Cool. She can fly.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Hey, look at me. I'm Blanche DuBois.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Lookin' for a spot off un with the missus, hey, guv'nor?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "The poor thing ends up being hauled to the nuthouse... when all she needed was for that big slob to show her some respect.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "I have a history of missing the point of stuff like this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Yeah, like when I pick my teeth with the mail and stuff.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 2, "et": "A Streetcar Named Marge"}, {"t": "Ah, another beautiful day in the womb.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "I'm all naked and wet!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Oh, stupid, itchy church pants. One size fits all, my butt!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "'Resting' hungover, 'resting' got fired? Help me out here.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Ahhh, I'm just a big, toasty cinnamon bun. I never wanna leave this bed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "I'm whizzin' with the door open, and I love it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "You bet your sweet... ass!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "The perfect chance to make my patented, space-age... out-of-this-world moon waffles.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Oooh, waffle runoff.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Mmm, fattening.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Ahhh, I'm there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "The door's frozen shut, and it's the only way out!", "c": ["Unknown churchgoer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Homer gasps and immediately knows the radio trivia answer", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "This Things I Believe", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Miracles are your department, Reverend.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Card table for sale. Top badly damaged. Leg missing. Otherwise fine. One dollar or best offer.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Moe is their leader.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Come on, TV. Give me some of that sweet, sweet pap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Yes!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Give it a little more gas. [Pedal Banging] No, no, that's too much. You know what I think would help? What? What would help? Nothing.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "I found... a penny! Could this be the best day of my life?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Like fun I don't. Marge, I'm never going to church again!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, yes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "I mean, isn't God everywhere? Amen, brother.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "And what if we pick the wrong religion? Every week we're just making God madder and madder. Testify!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Thou has forsaken my church! Well, kind of, but-- But what?", "c": ["God", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "You know, sometimes... even I'd rather be watching football. Does St. Louis still have a team? No, they moved to Phoenix.", "c": ["God", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Hmm, you've got a point there.", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "You know what I really hate about church? Those boring sermons. Oh, I couldn't agree more. That Reverend Lovejoy really displeases me. I think I'll give him a canker sore.", "c": ["Homer", "God"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to appear on a tortilla in Mexico.", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Dad, can I ask you a question? / Sure, honey. / Why are you dedicating your life to blasphemy?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Don't worry, sweetheart. If I'm wrong, I'll recant on my deathbed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "He appeared before me in a dream... and I knew that was special because I usually dream about naked... Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Perfect teeth, nice smell, a class act all the way.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "'And he left them and went out of the city into Bethany and he lodged there'? Yeah. Think about it.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "The, uh, Feast of Maximum Occupancy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Sorry, Homer. I was born a snake handler, and I'll die a snake handler.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Kids, let me tell you about another so-called 'wicked' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas... and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was-- I forget. But the point is-- I forget that too.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "He used to drive that blue car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "There you go again. Always taking someone else's side-- Flanders, the water department, God.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Our unabashed dictionary defines I.U.D. as... 'love springs internal.' I don't get it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Last year, tornadoes claimed the lives of 75 Jewish clowns. The worst incident was during our convention in Lubbock, Texas. There were floppy shoes and rainbow wigs everywhere. It was terrible.", "c": ["Jewish clown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Is this a religious thing? / A religious clown thing, yes. / Sorry.", "c": ["Homer", "Charity collector"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "No offense, Apu, but when they were handing out religions... you must've been out taking a whiz.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Boy, everyone is stupid except me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "D'oh! The song, the song. [Singing] D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Little Jamshed, the store is in your hands. How I have waited for this day. [Shotgun cocking]", "c": ["Apu", "Little Jamshed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "You ducks are really trying my patience! But you're so cute.", "c": ["Fire Chief"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Help! Help! [Laughing] That's right, old friend.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Hey, what are these axes for? I don't know. Chopping stuff. Gotcha.", "c": ["Homer", "Firefighter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars-- Sorry. This policy only covers actual losses, not made-up stuff.", "c": ["Homer", "Insurance agent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "You know, I have a feeling there's a lesson here. Yes, the lesson is-- No, don't tell me. I'll get it.", "c": ["Homer", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "O Spiteful One, show me who to smite, and they shall be 'smoten.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Hindu. There are 700 million of us. Aw, that's super.", "c": ["Apu", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Don't feel bad, Homer. Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year.", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "You can't wait six months?", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "Well, okay. The meaning of life is--", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "The meaning of life is-- [Cut to credits]", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Heretic"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Principal Skinner, 'The Happiest Place on Earth' is a registered Disneyland copyright.", "c": ["Disney lawyer", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Well, so did you. You got an ex-Green Beret mad.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "[Groaning, Gagging] [Gasps] [Groans] Copyright expired. And... begin!", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Disney lawyer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "This sucks. Aah! Ha-ha! Pick the red, get ahead. Pick the black, set you back.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Carnival worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Get your haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs... boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds! Good for what ails ya!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "I'd say... 53 years old and 420 pounds. Ha-ha, you lose! 36 and 239.", "c": ["Carnival worker", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Challenge accepted!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "I'll be in Mexico till this thing blows over.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Hand over all your money. Was it scary? Uh-huh. Ooh, baby.", "c": ["Spookhouse operator", "Milhouse", "Nelson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "So, girlie, you like roller-skating? No. Yeah, everybody loves roller-skating. Okay, you can turn around now. [Gasps] [Spectators Laughing]", "c": ["Carnival caricature artist", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! I'm ugly!", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "You see the circular pattern on those fields? That's from central-pivot irrigation. Wow. Now let's see what's happening at the Super Bowl. [Crowd Cheering] Homer! Homer! Homer! Homer! Oops. Sorry. Homer! Homer! Homer! Homer! Homer! Homer!", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Blimp narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Ned Flanders! [Gasps] Ah! Go, Ned! Oh, it's no fair. We'll never have a buffer. We have one at home. You never use it. Well, I want that one.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer Simpson", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "And the winner of the blimp ride is... Homer Simpson! Oh, my God!", "c": ["Announcer", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Oh, Lisa, this isn't real. It's just how you might look If you were a cartoon character. I'm an ugmo.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Now, that's not true. You're cute as a bug's ear. Fathers have to say that stuff. Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear? No! You're homely as a mule's butt! There. See?", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Lisa Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Moe, have you ever felt unattractive? Mmm, no. How about you, Barney? Not for a second. [Belches] Yeah. I need help.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "[Inhales, Exhales] Ahh. That sweet Carolina smoke. But they can't prohibit us from holding a beauty pageant... for little girls age seven to nine.", "c": ["Jack Larson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "I heartily endorse this event or product.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "What a feeling! I'm as happy as a smoker... taking that first puff in the morning.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Hey, Barney, will you give me 250 bucks for this blimp ticket? Sure! [Gasps] Where'd you get all the money? From some scientist. Since they stopped testing on animals... a guy like me can really clean up.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Lisa, I know a song that will cheer you up. [Singing] So you think I'm ugly? No! No, I meant you were one Of the good-looking ducks... that makes fun of the ugly one.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Lisa, if you could have one wish, what would it be? To shut myself off from the world and never be seen by human eyes again. Was your second wish to be entered in the Little Miss Springfield Pageant?", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "I couldn't find a big enough photo, so I sent in... that funny drawing of you on roller skates.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Dad, have you seen the girls they have in those contests? Hubba, hubba! [Panting] [Howling]", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Well, if I could gouge out somebody else's eyes... and shove them into my sockets, I would. But to me, she's beautiful.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "But do you know how your father got the money to enter you in this pageant? Nope. He sold his ride on the Duff blimp. But that ride meant everything to him!", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Did you see Tina Epstein? Whoa! If you're gonna binge, you'd better purge. Uh-oh.", "c": ["Pageant contestants"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Amber Dempsey. In the same week... she was Pork Princess and Little Miss Kosher.", "c": ["Pageant parent"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Eyelash implants. I thought those were illegal. Not in Paraguay.", "c": ["Pageant parents"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "She's the Jack Nicklaus Of the pageant circuit. Oh, I don't know that she's as attractive as Jack Nicklaus. I meant because they both win all the time, Mom. Oh. Well, yes. That's what I meant too.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "And later, I'll teach you the tricks of the trade-- taping your swimsuit to your butt... petroleum jelly on your teeth for that frictionless smile... and the ancient art of padding.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Boy, when Lisa comes in, I want you to make a big fuss over how she looks. She'll see through me like Grandma's underpants.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "When it comes to compliments... women are ravenous, bloodsucking monsters... always wanting more, more, more! And if you give it to 'em, you'll get plenty back in return. Like what? I'll tell you when you're older.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Is that Lisa? Ooh, I gotta call heaven. There's an angel missing. And who's your little school friend? Wait a minute. That's Mom!", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "I know two fellas who are gonna get a special dinner tonight. Hey, hey! Whoo-hoo! Dad, you know anything else about women? Nope, that's it.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Homer Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Hey, brush-head, you've been nursing that thing for an hour. You know, I was just wondering how someone who works at an ice cream store... keeps such a trim figure. I've misjudged you.", "c": ["Moe", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "I said step, pause, turn, pause, pivot, step, step... not step, pause, turn, pause, pivot, step, pause! Ooh! Shudder!", "c": ["Pageant coach"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "And the winner is... Lisa Simpson! [Gasps] Okay, wipe away a tear. Hug the loser. And now, for your triumphant walk down the runway. Whoa! Ooh! Aah! It's hopeless!", "c": ["Pageant coach", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "There's nothin' to it. Give me those heels. Heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe. Hmm. Do you really think I can win? Hey, I'm starting to think I can win.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Lise, as your brother... this is the hardest thing I've every had to say. You're not ugly. Oh, Bart!", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "My name is Amber Dempsey, and when I grow up I want to be a sweetie pie.", "c": ["Amber Dempsey"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "I am Pahasatira Nahasapeemapetilon... and tonight I will be playing 'Mac Arthur Park' on the tabla. [Laughing] No, I am serious. Yes! Judges, there's your queen. Who's watching the Kwik-E-Mart? [Both Gasp]", "c": ["Pahasatira", "Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Yes! Judges, there's your queen. - Who's watching the Kwik-E-Mart?", "c": ["Apu", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "My name is Lisa Simpson, and I want to be Little Miss Springfield... so I can make our town a better place! Yeah! Clean up this stink-hole! [Panting, Grunts]", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Audience member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Yeah! Clean up this stink-hole!", "c": ["Audience Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Krusty! About time you got here. Yeah, yeah. What is this-- the, uh, Republican fund-raiser?", "c": ["Pageant organizer", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Oh, that brisket's not sittin' right. [Snoring] Oh, that just kept goin', huh?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Oh, that just kept goin', huh?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Some people say that to love your country is old-fashioned... uncool, real melvin. Well, to them I say-- [Singing Patriotic Song] One, two, three, four! [Singing Rock And Roll Song]", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "This is my favorite part Of the pageant, because-- What does that say? Oh. It gives me a chance to visit with the girls personality. Uh, personally.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Amber, do you think the Bill of Rights... is a good thing or a bad thing? Um-- Take your time, dear. Good thing.", "c": ["Krusty", "Amber Dempsey"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "And don't say it'll never happen... because we all remember that thing with what's-her-name. Click, click. You know.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Hi. Can I drive? Well, I can't see the harm. [Barney Yelling] Oh, the humanity!", "c": ["Amber Dempsey", "Blimp pilot", "Barney", "News reporter"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Oh, dear. It would be a shame If that pretty dress got wet. I'd say the greater danger is her scepter acting as a lightning rod. Unless it's made out of plastic. [Thunderclap] Nope. Metal.", "c": ["News commentators"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Oh, she'll be fine. In fact... she's already won the Little Miss Intensive Care Pageant.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Here's your scepter. Oop! [Laughing] just kidding. Here you go. Oop! [Laughing] just kidding. [Yelling] I deserved that.", "c": ["Doctor", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "That doesn't look like her body. The torso used to be Dr. Ruth. Her head is on a pike in the Chamber of Horrors.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Tour guide"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Love that 'chewing gum' walk. Very Wrigley.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "As Little Miss Springfield, it's my pleasure to welcome you to America... the land of opportunity. Actually, they're being deported.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Official"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Hello, this is Bob 'What the hell am I doing in Springfield' Hope. Hey, how about that Mayor Quimby? He's some golfer! His golfball spends more time underwater than Greg Louganis.", "c": ["Bob Hope"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "His golfball spends more time underwater than Greg Louganis.", "c": ["Bob Hope"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Little Miss Springfield? First, Tony Randall cancels. Now this. Hey, what gives here? This is bogus! Hey! Where do you think you're goin'? We want Miss Springfield! Hey, set me down at that boat show.", "c": ["Bob Hope", "Soldiers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be riding on a pack of cigarettes? Mm-hmm. We think you're the perfect spokesmodel for Laramies. It's part of our new campaign. Mmm, classy. [Gasps]", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Cigarette executives"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "You see, Lisa, it's been an unlucky year for Laramie. A lot of the people who smoke our product have been... well, dying. And we need young smokers to take their place.", "c": ["Cigarette executive"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "And we're thinking of retiring Menthol Moose. [Coughs, Spits]", "c": ["Cigarette executive", "Menthol Moose"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Bless you, boys. Homer, those are ice cream men. I know.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Stop this float! [Tires Screech] What's the holdup? Go! I'm tired of being a corporate shill. [Grunts] From now on, I will speak out... against the evils in society... from dog-napping to cigarettes.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Float driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Before I sing the national anthem... I'd like to say that college football... diverts funds badly needed for education and the arts. Is that true? Let's get 'em! [Grunting] Let's get out of here!", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "But this glorified, crossing-guard-of-a-police Chief won't get off his big fat can. Is it okay if I open these potato chips? [Groans] Gentlemen, our prayers have been answered.", "c": ["Cigarette executive", "Police Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Lisa Simpson is no longer Little Miss Springfield. She was stripped of her crown in a ceremony earlier today. Well, that's obviously the wrong footage. Uh, but it does seem the father of the deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson... filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under 'Do not write in this space,' he wrote, 'Okay.'", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "Dad, do you remember why you entered me in that pageant? I don't know. Was I drunk? Possibly. But the point is, you wanted me to feel better about myself, and I do.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "And now, my exclusive interview with His Holiness, Pope John Paul I. That's it. I cannot work under these conditions. If anybody wants me, I'll be downstairs at McDougal's. Call the weekend guy. I don't care.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "That's it. I cannot work under these conditions. If anybody wants me, I'll be downstairs at McDougal's.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Beauty Queen"}, {"t": "there are some crybabies out there-- religious types mostly-- who might be offended", "c": ["narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Come on. I dare ya. [ Clucking ] Chicken.", "c": ["narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "That's not a Bible. That's a book of carpet samples. Ooh, fuzzy.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Behold mighty Caesar... in all his glory! D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I am Calliope, the muse of heroic poetry. No kiddin'.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Stupid party. Wish we was trick-or-treating.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Yo, Mom. We haven't got the eyeballs yet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Homer, you're ruining it. Yeah, well, it was an evil game.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "A doll... from hell!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I didn't earn it. I don't need it. But if they miss one payment, I'll raise hell!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt.", "c": ["Shop owner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "But it comes with a free frogurt. That's good. The frogurt is also cursed. That's bad. But you get your choice of topping. That's good! The toppings contain potassium benzoate. That's bad. Can I go now?", "c": ["Shop owner", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.63, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "That doll is evil, I tells ya. Evil! E-E-Evil! Grampa, you said that about all the presents. I just want attention.", "c": ["Grampa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "scientists have announced that Springfield's air... is now only dangerous to children and the elderly. Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["TV news", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I'm Krusty the Clown, and I don't like you. I'm Krusty the Clown, and I'm going to kill you.", "c": ["Krusty doll"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I'd say that the pressure's finally gotten to Dad, but what pressure?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "There goes the last lingering thread Of my heterosexuality.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I was a fool to think anyone would want Nude photos of Whoopi Goldberg.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Your doll is trying to kill my husband! Yes, I'll hold.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Yep, here's your problem. Someone set this thing to 'evil.'", "c": ["Repair man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Yeah, dogs like to bury old junk. Yeah, you stupid idiot.", "c": ["Homer", "Krusty doll"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Homer made me give him a sponge bath. [ Shudders ]", "c": ["Krusty doll"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Homer, I've coughed up scarier stuff than that.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "That's a lie, and you know it! But I have seen a lot of movies.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I think women and seamen don't mix. We know what you think.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island. Candy Apple Island? What do they got there? Apes, but they're not so big.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "We wouldn't think Of going without the bait. Uh, that is, the bait-thing beauty. The bathing beauty. I covered that up pretty well.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "we wouldn't dream of sacrificing the blue-haired woman. Oh, well, isn't that-- Whoa!", "c": ["Translator", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!", "c": ["King Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer, cut it out. Come on, quit eating me.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Well, the ape's going to stand around for three hours or so. Then we'll close with the ethnic comedy Of Dugan and Dershowitz.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Wow! Look at the size Of that platform!", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Come on. What's he gonna do? Run amok in downtown Springfield?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I said one!", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I'm dreading the reviews. I can tell you that.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Maybe you should eat more vegetables and less people.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I remember when Al Jolson ran amok at the Winter Garden and climbed the Chrysler Building. After that, he couldn't get arrested in this town.", "c": ["Random person"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I can't find your father. Oh, Homer.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Folks, if you could just stop cleaning each other for a second.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Now, kids, instead of candy... I thought I'd serve an array of healthy fresh fruits. Fruit is nature's candy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Hey, hi, fellow Halloweenies. Did I scaredely-dareya?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Nice try, Mr. Flanders, but I've got a story so scary... you'll wet your pants. Too late.", "c": ["Bart", "Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Man, he's just not trying anymore.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Run over by the mayor's beer-swilling brother, Clovis.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Cullen. Rayburn. Narz. Trebek. Zabar, Kresge, Caldor, Wal-Mart!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Please, Lise, they prefer to be called 'the living impaired.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Did you wreck the car? No. Did you raise the dead? Yes! But the car's okay? Uh-huh. All right, then.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Homer, did you barricade the door? Why? Oh, the zombies. No.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders. He was a zombie?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Wow, George Washington! Take that, Washington! Eat lead, Einstein. Show's over, Shakespeare! Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?", "c": ["Homer", "Shakespeare"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "I'm not a zombie. But hey-- when in Rome.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Still pushin' that boulder? Uh-huh.", "c": ["Homer", "Sisyphus"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sure glad we didn't turn into mindless zombies. Shh! TV. Man fall down. Funny.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iii"}, {"t": "Captain's log. Stardate 6051. Had trouble sleeping last night. My hiatal hernia is acting up. The ship is drafty and damp. I complain, but nobody listens.", "c": ["Captain Kirk"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Star Trek XI: So Very Tired", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "It's no good, Captain. I cannot reach the control panel.", "c": ["Scotty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Movies! What a rip-off! I don't have to sit here and take this! I-- [Snoring]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad? - Poisoned pizza.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I'm not making two stops.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Is it 37? - D'oh! I mean, no.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "[Flatulent Noise] - [Gasps]", "c": ["Bart", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.09, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "replacing my birth control pills with Tic Tacs", "c": ["Ms. Krabappel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "I did read to her. '8:00. Happy Days. The Fonz, Henry Winkler... is worried he's losing his cool.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Well, I've always been a firm believer in the three 'Rs'-- reading TV Guide, um... writing to TV Guide and renewing TV Guide.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Over the lips and past the gums-- look out dentures, here I come.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "'Where's the Beef?' [Chuckles] 'Where's the Beef?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "We're talking about Bart! - Oh. That guy.", "c": ["Ms. Krabappel", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Berger-- Mmm, burger.", "c": ["Ms. Krabappel", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "All right, ladies. Prepare to be blown away By Bang Bang Bart. [Dance music] [Pistols Firing]", "c": ["Announcer", "Adult Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "You're fat! - Just more of me to love, honey.", "c": ["Heckler", "Adult Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Boy, time really flies when you're reading-- The Bible? Ew.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "You already put me in a home. - Then we'll put you in the crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes.", "c": ["Grandpa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Dad, you and your stories. 'Bart broke my teeth.' 'The nurses are stealing my money.' 'This thing on my neck is getting bigger.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Young man, since you broke Grampa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Oh, this is gonna be sweet.", "c": ["Homer", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Yeah, right. Like you're gonna let me go hungry. I'll be eating that pizza in five minutes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "I'm starving! Somebody bring me some food quick! - I'm a-comin', boy!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Don't tell your mother, but I brought you some pizza. Just promise me you'll try to be good. - I promise. - That-a-boy.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "[Chuckling] Sucker.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Well, well. If it isn't the tooth fairy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Indeed I did. [Goats bleating] D'oh! Hey, you goats get out of here!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Or you could let me go play with Milhouse... while you spend the afternoon watching unpredictable Mexican sitcoms.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "\u00a1Ay, el est\u00f3mago! [Chuckles] Run along, you little scamp.", "c": ["TV", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Wait a minute! [Gasps] Ice cream truck!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. The trick is... to say you're prejudiced against all races.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "How could you let this happen? - How could you let this happen? - I wasn't here. - Oh, how convenient.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren? - Earl Warren wasn't a stripper. - Now who's being naive?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "[Hiccups] Kill me. [Hiccups] Kill me.", "c": ["News Subject"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "a year when you might have seen Al Capone... dancing the Charleston on top of a flagpole.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Oh, isn't that cute. A baby driving a car. And look. There's a dog driving a bus.", "c": ["Bystander"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "[Groans] Oh, no! Beta!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Can't you just give me a spanking? Come on. Go nuts.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "How would you've liked it if someone told you That you couldn't watch the moon landing?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "I regret nothing!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "TV sucks. - I know you're upset right now, so I'll pretend you didn't say that!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "No matter how good a movie is, it can't compare... to the imagination of a small boy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Of course, they didn't use their real names, But you could tell it was them.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "No one who saw the movie would say that! - Let's get him!", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "He has the demented melancholia Of a Tennessee Williams heroine.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "If I fail, the best he could do... is judge at a Mr. Tight Buns competition.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Tomorrow, a new movie starring Liza Minnelli and Mickey Rourke will open. Will it be as successful? Only time will tell.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "One senior citizen and one chief justice Of the Supreme Court.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "One Soylent Green, hold the butter. - Mmm. Soylent Green.", "c": ["Ticket Seller", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "Which one's the mouse? - Itchy. - Itchy's a jerk.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 6, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Homer, that's dishwashing liquid! Yeah, but what Are ya gonna do?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Howdy-do, neighbor! Good pipe weather. Thought I'd fire up the briar. Can't talk. Busy. Okilly-dokilly-do.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Did you notice how slanted he looked? All part of God's great plan.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "'The Half-Assed Approach to Foundation Repair'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such instructional videos as Mothballing Your Battleship and Dig Your Own Grave and Save.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Do you have extruded polyvinyl foam insulation? No. Good.", "c": ["Troy McClure", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Wait a minute! Now parge the lath. Ohh!", "c": ["Homer", "Troy McClure"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Let's see. 'Foundation Repair'. Ah, here we are-- D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "This is one story that's not on the level!", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Meet Cue Ball, the man with no hair! Huh? He's hideous!", "c": ["News Reporter", "Homer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "We only have 500 in the bank, and that leaves... eighty-hundred we need.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Then I could follow my dream-- living in the woods and keeping a journal of my thoughts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "March 15th. I wish I brought a TV. Oh, God, how I miss TV.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "It was the most beautiful, most expensive train ever built-- the Spruce Caboose. Some people said it was too big to stay on the tracks. They were right.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Boring!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Mr. Jack Marley. - Boring!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Unknown heckler"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Oh, 'Me, me, me. I need all the attention just because it's my party,' eh?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Please don't make me retire. My job is the only thing that keeps me alive. I never married, and my dog is dead.", "c": ["Jack Marley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Forget it, Marge. We already live together. We shouldn't work together. As the Bible says... 'Thou shalt not horn in on thy husband's... racket.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Where does the Bible say 'racket'?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Chauffeur. Seamstress. Curator of large mammals?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Lisa, shh! Someone might be listening.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "'Worked for the Carter Administration'? Well, you voted for him... twice!", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Let me be the first to say-- [Speaking Foreign Language] What? Welcome aboard. I guess my Swahili's not as good as yours.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "And that's good! But here's the bad part. Uh-- Uh-- Ooh! Look at that headline! 'Canada To Hold Referendum.' Sorry, Marge. Can't talk now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Last week some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door and I wouldn't let them leave. They snuck away when I went in the kitchen to get more lemonade.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "You'll be just like Marie and Pierre Curie. What did they do? They discovered radium. Then they both died of radiation poisoning.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Cool.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Now, Marge, just remember-- If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English. Ah, Tibor, how many times Have you saved my butt?", "c": ["Homer", "Tibor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scrofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "According to your r\u00e9sum\u00e9, you invented this machine.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Bart, have you ever read 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'? I'm halfway through it! I swear!", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Marge, Marge, Marge... let's file this under 'R'... for arrivederci.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Don't worry, baby. The tube'll know what to do.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Good news, boy. I found a pharmacy that carries leeches! Well, it wasn't exactly a pharmacy. More of a bait shop.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Oral thermometer, my eye! Think warm thoughts, boy, 'cause this is mighty cold.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Enchantress! That woman-- She's so captivating. Smithers, my heart's pounding like a jackhammer.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Closer. Closer. Closer, damnit! Ow! Too close.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I am the angel of death. The time of purification is at hand. Oh, who cares.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "You mean like Child Labor Day?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "You can't take our doughnuts! Right. Anyone else want to be a hero?", "c": ["Worker", "Lenny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "My ovaries!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Boy cries 'wolf,' has a few laughs. I forget how it ends.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? I work like a Japanese beaver.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Well, I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy. I'm gonna go right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba-- Eh, good night.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "You know that dream where you're in bed, and they fly in through the window? [Moaning]", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Oh, that's right. He's dead. And rather pungent.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "These spurs are killing me. Ey-y-y. Sit on it. Lenny, '50s day is next Wednesday.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I've got some washers in my truck. I'll give you one. Marge, get my gun.", "c": ["Repairman", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not sure I'm over it. Shove it, witch. [Barking]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Tourette's syndrome. [Barking]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "That's our secret word for the day!", "c": ["Game Show Host"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "She must think you're after her eggs. I only ate one!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "'Ivanhoe is the story of a Russian farmer and his tool.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "You... have a husband? Yes. I can picture him now-- rugged good looks, sweater knotted about his shoulders... curly locks shining in the sun like spun gold!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "The senile old fool.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "You don't have to sue me to get my pants off. [Purrs]", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hey, wolfie, putdown that hors d'oeuvre. It's time for the main course!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hey, wolfie, put down that hors d'oeuvre. It's time for the main course!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "There was no wolf. I faked the whole thing. I'm just gonna lie on the floor now. Please don't let me swallow my tongue.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "I was wrestling wolves back when you were at your mother's teat.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Care to join me in a belt of scotch? It's 9:30 in the morning. Yeah, but I haven't slept in days.", "c": ["Lawyer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Hey! It's full of shredded newspapers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Gotcha. Marge, we're gettin' some drive-through; then we're doing it twice.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "Get help, luv. Call Interpol, get me a hacksaw, anything.", "c": ["Tom Jones"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 7, "et": "Marge Gets A Job"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Homer's signature exclamation after crashing car]", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Well, that's a tough one, 'cause I did the deed with Uta, Candy and Shasta.", "c": ["Ron (TV character)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.78, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "But I'm gonna have to go with Shasta... 'cause she liked makin' bacon on the beach.", "c": ["Ron (TV character)"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.37, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Ahhh, bacon. [Homer's dreamy response to hearing 'bacon']", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "could you please wear pants? - Mmm, no.", "c": ["Mrs. Winfield", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "could you please take in your jack-o'-lanterns from past Halloweens? - Mmm, no.", "c": ["Mrs. Winfield", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Wha-- Hey, moose! Shoo! Yeah, I'm talkin' to you! Get off my lawn, now!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Okay, Homer, stay calm. just quietly get this stuff inside your house.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Maybe I'm not getting enough... estrogen.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "But I think I'm allergic to seafood. The last time I ate shrimp, my throat closed up, and I went into convulsions. - Mmm, shrimp.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Mmm, shrimp.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Now, I don't know much about haggling or bargaining... so why don't we just agree to pay whatever the Winfields want?", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "This is where the Winfields hid their mutated son. - Bart, the Winfields didn't have a son. - See that sock over there? It was his only friend.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "[Thinking] She's beautiful. Say something clever. - I fell on my bottom. - [Thinking] D'oh!", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "My upbringing was painfully strict, ma'am.", "c": ["Laura Powers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "especially after that Time cover story, 'America's Worst City.' - You could see our house in that photo.", "c": ["Mrs. Powers", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "They're so sweet when you marry them. But soon, it's just career, career, career.", "c": ["Mrs. Powers"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "My hammock! Do you understand? Mine! Don't look that way!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "How'd you like a Hertz donut? - Hurts, don't it?", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Hey, baby! How about puttin' your finger in my ear? - Well, I don't know. Your boyfriend looks like the jealous type.", "c": ["Kearney", "Laura Powers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Hey, what the-- - That chick's messin' with our minds. Let's get out of here.", "c": ["Jimbo Jones", "Kearney"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Oh, man. You're gonna be rich! [spits in hand] There's your mansion. There's the tennis court. And there's the swimming pool.", "c": ["Laura Powers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Oh, man. You're gonna be rich! There's your mansion. There's the tennis court. And there's the swimming pool.", "c": ["Laura"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "I'll never wash this hand again.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Sorry, Lise. I no longer control the hand. The hand controls me!", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Sorry, this isn't Abbie. This is her sister. I look after her now.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "I wore my extra-loose pants for nothing. Nothing!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Oh, I get it. 'Bart, the babysitter's here.' 'Let me tuck you in.'", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Maybe it's time I wash my hand.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "That's it! Whoo-hoo! I'm glad one of us remembered. That could have been embarrassing.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "After all, Homer, I do have the normal appetites.", "c": ["Mrs. Powers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "just let me make sure we're not talking about food. - I'm not. - Right. Me neither. We're talking about sex, right? - Right.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Mrs. Powers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Hey, sometimes a guy just likes his skin to look its yellowest.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think you want to fail! Shut up. just shut up!", "c": ["Unknown TV characters"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 4.28, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Take your kaftab'Sounieh and dip it in the labneh. Now, that is good labneh.", "c": ["Laura Powers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "We used to eat this when my dad was stationed in 'Vandihar.'", "c": ["Laura"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "What about the bread? Does that have much fish in it? - Yes.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Waiter"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Well, I have some Tic Tacs in my purse-- - Excellent choice.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Waiter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "just follow me. Put your hand on my hip. [Voice Cracking] Okay.", "c": ["Laura Powers", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "That man ate all our shrimp and two plastic lobsters! 'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine. Arr!", "c": ["Captain McCallister"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "I'm like that guy, that Spanish guy. You know, he fought the windmills. - Don Quixote? - No, that's not it. What's his name? 'The Man of La Mancha.' - Don Quixote. - No!", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film The Neverending Story.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Homer, I don't use the word 'hero' very often. But you are the greatest hero in American history.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Homer, I don't use the word 'hero' very often. But you are the greatest hero in American history.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Hey, can your grandfather do this? [Karate Yells] - Oh!", "c": ["Old Man", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "I had a crush on the oldest woman. 120 years old, she was. Here's a picture of her delivering Eubie Blake.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "I wore a 15-pound beard of bees for that woman, but it just wasn't enough.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Ooh! 'Mostly Mozart' is in town.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "[Monkeys Chittering] Zookeeper! Zookeeper! Those two monkeys are killing each other! - They're having sex. - Oh?", "c": ["Young Homer", "Zookeeper"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Son, a woman is a lot like, um... a refrigerator. They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice and-- Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "They smell good. They look good. You'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "You know that dead body they found behind the mayor's house? - Jimbo killed him? - No, but he poked him with a stick.", "c": ["Laura", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "You know that dead body they found behind the mayor's house? - Jimbo killed him? - No, but he poked him with a stick.", "c": ["Laura Powers", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "[Echoing] Just a kid. Just a kid.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "I married her! [Homer laughing at his own joke]", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "'Twas a moonless night, dark as pitch... when out of the mist came a beast more stomach than man.", "c": ["Captain McCallister"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "18,000 letters all addressed to 'Santa Claus.' - You want 'The People of Springfield versus Kris Kringle.' That's next door.", "c": ["Court worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "18,000 letters all addressed to 'Santa Claus.' - You want 'The People of Springfield versus Kris Kringle.' That's next door.", "c": ["Court Officer", "Judge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Mrs. Simpson, isn't it true your husband once consumed a 10-pound bag of flour when no other food was available? - Yes, but it was--", "c": ["Prosecutor", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "We drove around until 3:00 a.m. looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant. - And when you couldn't find one? - We went fishing. [Sobbing]", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Come see 'Bottomless Pete,' nature's cruelest mistake. - Oh, he's hideous! - I heard they shaved a gorilla.", "c": ["Carnival barker", "Crowd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "No, this is... Bo's Cavern.", "c": ["Moe Szyslak"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss! Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?", "c": ["Moe Szyslak"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Maybe your standards are too high.", "c": ["Barney Gumble"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "My name is Jimbo Jones, and I live at 1094 Evergreen Terrace.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "What kind of pathetic drunk Do you take me for? [Gasps] Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray. [Slurps Loudly] Ahh.", "c": ["Barney Gumble"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "I wasn't really gonna kill ya. I was just gonna cut ya. [Sobbing Continues]", "c": ["Moe Szyslak"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "You know, if you were only old enough to grow a bad teenage mustache... I'd go out with you in a second.", "c": ["Laura Powers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Ivana Tinkle. just a sec. Ivana Tinkle. Ivana Tinkle! All right, everybody, put down your glasses. Ivana Tinkle.", "c": ["Moe Szyslak"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "Hello, I'd like to speak to Miss Tinkle, first name... Ivana. Ivana Tinkle. just a sec. Ivana Tinkle. Ivana Tinkle! All right, everybody, put down your glasses. Ivana Tinkle.", "c": ["Bart", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 8, "et": "New Kid On The Block"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such films as The Erotic Adventures of Hercules and Dial 'M' for Murderousness", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Excitement, she wrote", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "[Gasps] Moe, don't throw out that brine", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "I'll be played by Jimmy Smits", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Not the face!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "But, Marge, Alan Thicke is throwing knives at Ricardo Montalban", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Take it easy, folks. It's 'snow' picnic out there. / I 'snow' what you mean. / You're dead weight, Marty", "c": ["Radio DJs"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "D'oh! Well, I got him as good as he got me", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Don't tell him you were at a bar. [Gasps] But what else is open at night? It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "[Thinking] Heh-heh-heh. I would've never thought of that", "c": ["Insurance Agent"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Can't trust a pig with watermelons, you know", "c": ["Crazy Vaclav"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene", "c": ["Crazy Vaclav"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "What country is this car from? It no longer exists", "c": ["Homer", "Crazy Vaclav"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Put it in 'H'", "c": ["Crazy Vaclav"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Do you come with the car? Oh, you. [Giggles] - Do you come with the car? Oh, you. [Giggles]", "c": ["Homer", "Promotional Woman"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Bart! That car belonged to Bonnie and Clyde. Show a little respect", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Hey, wait, That's not a dummy. This exhibit is closed", "c": ["German Engineer", "Museum Guide"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Dad, that's not the real Batman. Of course I'm Batman. - See, here's a picture of me with Robin. - Who the hell's Robin?", "c": ["Lisa", "Adam West", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Michelle Pfeiffer. Ha. The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether or Eartha Kitt", "c": ["Adam West"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "And I didn't need molded plastic to improve my physique. Pure West", "c": ["Adam West"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore? Remember the Batusi?", "c": ["Adam West"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Nice meetin' ya. Just keep moving. Don't make eye contact", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Homer, I've got to sneak these valuable artworks out of the White House but I can't get out of my driveway because of these protesters. Mr. President, those young people are about to get a dose of reality", "c": ["TV President", "Homer's Fantasy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Your wife? [Imitates Whipcrack] What, you think I'm gonna buy a $20,000 truck just because you make that noise? [Imitates Whipcracks] I'll take it!", "c": ["Salesman", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "If you're gonna get mad at me every time I do something stupid then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things. - Good. - Fine. I'll never ever do another stupid thing", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "[Walking into door] Oh, Homie. Didn't that hurt? [Weakly] No", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Twenty percent off at Lullabuys. Just tell 'em Big Baby sent you. I know you can hear me. I'm talkin' to you. You sicken me", "c": ["Big Baby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Well, at least I can't sink any lower. Come back, diaper. Come back", "c": ["Big Baby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, in your infinite wisdom you know the number to call when you need a plow is Klondike 5-3226", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Homer, this is really low. Not as low as my low, low prices", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Dad, who's watching TV at 3:17 a.m.? Alcoholics, the unemployable, angry loners", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "[Together] Old Man Winter! [Cackling] That's right. I fill your driveways with ice and snow. What are you gonna do about it? Nothin'. That's what", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Old Man Winter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snowblowers and the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you, Mr. Plow? Shut up, boy", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Well, John Q. Driveway has our number. Now we play the waiting game. Ah, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "I'm cold and frightened", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Say your prayers, plow boy!", "c": ["School Bus Driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "You didn't even give a beer to those freed Iranian hostages. Ah, they shouldn't have been there in the first place", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Well, wishing won't make it so. You gotta pull up your diaper, get out there and be the best damn Barney you can be", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "This might sound silly, but just for a change, would you mind-- Cutting my nails? Brushing my teeth? No, no. Could you wear the Mr. Plow jacket? Just, uh, for fun", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Say hello to the Plow King. Barney, you stole my idea", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Linda Ronstadt? How'd you get her? Ah, we've been looking for a project to do together for a while", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "I've got two words for you. Mellow out, man", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Hey! Where have you been all my life?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "I'll take your money, but I'm not gonna plow your driveway", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "So long, Superman. Your secret identity is safe with me", "c": ["Adam West"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Yeah. They were gay", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "I know. I'll do a rap. [Imitating Beat Box] [Rapping about Mr. Plow]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "You know those radio ads where two people with annoying voices yammer back and forth? I invented those. Ow! Happens all the time", "c": ["Ad Executive"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "These look like teeth marks. I thought there was chocolate inside. It was never wrapped in foil. Well, why was it wrapped in foil? It was never wrapped in foil", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Aide"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "There's a $10,000 bill in it for you. Oh, yeah? Which president's on it? Uh, all of them. They're having a party. Jimmy Carter's passed out on the couch", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Kiss my asphalt. So I says, 'Kiss my asphalt.' Hmm? Hmm?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Hey, this old girl's as sure-footed as a mountain goat. [Goat bleating and falling sounds]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "I'll be reunited with my loved ones-- my dad and that plant I never watered", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "When two best friends work together not even God himself can stop them. [Booming Male Voice] Oh, no?", "c": ["Homer", "God"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Well, if 70\u00b0 days in the middle of winter are the price of car pollution you'll forgive me if I keep my old Pontiac", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "[Man] Hello. This is the Repo Depot. I'm just calling to distract you while we repossess your plow. Oh, yeah? How dumb do you think I-- Oh", "c": ["Repo Man", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Our forecast calls for flurries of passion followed by extended periods of gettin' it on", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 9, "et": "Mr Plow"}, {"t": "Can you say 'get bent'?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Mr. Rogers says it all the time.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Shove it. Shove it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Did you hear that? She said 'burlap'.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.' [Thinking] What does that mean?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "You better say something, or they'll think you're stupid. Takes one to know one! Swish!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "\u00a1Aye carumba!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Ms. Pac-Man struck a blow for women's rights.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "A young Joe Piscopo taught us how to laugh.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Chipwich for sale! Chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin!", "c": ["Street vendor"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Youse guys wanna play stickball? Soitenly.", "c": ["Street kids"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "That Mike Farrell really boils my 'potata.'", "c": ["Neighbor woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Homer is what grown-ups call me. Call me Daddy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Domer. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Why, you little-- [Homer strangles Bart]", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Ah, he'll tire himself out soon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "They had 30 sons and 30 daughters. What were their names? Dennis, Brianna... Mavis, Brad--", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "What were their names? [Groans] Dennis, Brianna... Mavis, Brad--", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "The Coast Guard arrested Boy George for scraping the barnacles off his dinghy.", "c": ["TV comedian"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Got your nose. Got your wallet.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "We're gonna start doin' it in the morning?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Bye-bye, keys. [Flushing] [Yelling]", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Who did this? - Baby. Bad baby.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "The baby can have Bart's crib and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "My Cousin Frank did it. You don't have a Cousin Frank. He became Francine back in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Once you get used to the smell of melted hog fat, you'll wonder how you ever did without it.", "c": ["Real estate agent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Mmm. Hog fat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Why buy a house when ye can buy a houseboat? Arr!", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Once we get the cats out, it won't be too bad. Actually, according to the will, the cats own the house. You'd be their tenants.", "c": ["Real estate agent"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "That's real shag carpeting. Arr!", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "I wish we lived in the kitty house. I could've trained them to be my unholy army of the night. Go, my pretties. Kill! Kill!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Dad, I have a problem. Why'd you come to me?", "c": ["Homer", "Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "I don't know nothin'. I used to get by on my looks. Now they're gone, withered away like an old piece of fruit.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "I was voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "You didn't build this house. You won it on a crooked '50s game show.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "I ratted on everybody and got off scot-free.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "So how long before you shipped Grampa off to the old folks' home? About three weeks.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "I'll tell you about the time I got locked in the bank vault with Mr. Mooney. It was another one of my harebrained schemes. Wait a minute. That was The Lucy Show.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer, this house sucks. Bart, I told you not to use that word. Call me 'Daddy'.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Buenos d\u00edas, neighboritos. The handle's Flanders, but my friends call me Ned.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Who the hell are you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "And that 'little while' is now eight years and counting. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Krusty Burger is the official meat-flavored sandwich of the 1984 Olympics!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Coochy coochy coo! - Krusty funny. - Duh.", "c": ["Krusty", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "I almost swallowed some of the juice. I'll be tasting that for weeks.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Not to worry, Mr. 'K.' We've rigged the cards. They're all in events that Communists never lose. I like. I like.", "c": ["Executive", "Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "We've rigged the cards. They're all in events that Communists never lose. Soviet boycott. U.S. unopposed in most events. You personally stand to lose 44 million dollars.", "c": ["Krusty's accountant"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Oy!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Crib! Crib! I'm a baby!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "All right, I know how to handle this. just use a little reverse psychology. Let's go, Marge. Leave the baby with his little crib.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Ah. Homer J. Simpson, you're a genius.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "I know you like clowns, so I made you this bed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "If you should die before you wake-- [Crazed Laughter]", "c": ["Clown bed"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "If you should die before you wake-- [Crazed Laughter]", "c": ["Clown bed"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Can't sleep. Clown'll eat me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "women shaving their backs 9,000 miles away... the Americans are heavy favorites.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Many of the other women represent countries that don't have swimming pools.", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Wow. A baby and a free burger. Could this be the best day of my life? Coming up next, an hour-long episode of Mama's Family. Yes!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Enjoy the miracle of creation! - Shut up, Flanders.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "I wanna go home. - No, I don't.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Iron helps us play!", "c": ["Todd Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Hope she didn't scare ya. Hello, Joe!", "c": ["Ned", "Grandma Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "I've already started you... a college fund at Lincoln Savings and Loan.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, Bart can kiss my hairy yellow butt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Well, Bart, what do you think of little Lisa? I hate you.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "'Where's the beef?' What the hell's that supposed to mean? 'Where's the beef?' No wonder he won Minnesota.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "The older they get, the cuter they ain't.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "You people are pigs! I personally am gonna spit in every 50th burger.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "I like those odds.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Please, please, please, please, please! [Howard Cosell] The American, Drederick Tatum... does a triumphant turkey trot over the supine Swede.", "c": ["Homer", "Howard Cosell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Carl Lewis, I could kiss you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "She has the reflexes of a young Mary Lou Retton.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Who's cuter now?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Your son shoved this through our doggie door. And since we're returning your second-born... you think you could see your way to returning my TV tray--", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Bart. You can talk! Say it again, Lise. Bart. Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart. I'm her first word!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Say it again, Lise. - Bart. Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart. - I'm her first word!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not surprised. Lisa's crazy about you. She thinks you hung the moon.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Can you say 'David Hasselhoff'? Dave Hassahoff.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Can you say 'Daddy'? - Homer. - No, sweetie. 'Daddy'. - Homer. - D'oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Can you say 'Daddy'? Homer. No, sweetie. 'Daddy'. Homer. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "You know, Maggie, the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "You know, Maggie, the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "Daddy.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 10, "et": "Lisas First Word"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Close, but no doughnut, cops.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "This is Papa Bear. Put out an A.P.B. for a male suspect... driving a... car of some sort... heading in the direction of, uh... you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "My heart is just f-- [Gasps, Groans] - Homie, what is it? -Just workin' the turkey through.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Hey, Lise, there was a big train wreck last night. Do you wanna see the victims? - Hmm, okay. - Yaah! - Bart, that's gross! - You're right. Let's bury them at sea. Bleah!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "You know that feeling you get... when a thousand knives of fire are stabbing you in the heart? I got that right now. Ooh! Bacon!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Psst! The best meat's in the rump.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "What the hell is this? - Nice, healthy oatmeal. - Ooh, oatmeal. What a delightful treat. Oh, there's a bug in it. - No, there isn't. - Trust me.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Dad, there's a bug on that. Eh.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Whew! I was afraid it was my transmission.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Billy, remember that old Plymouth We just couldn't fix? - We're gonna sell him to Mr. Nikapopolus? - You're a dull boy, Billy.", "c": ["Mechanic", "Billy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "That's right. Keep eating. Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poisoned doughnut. [Chuckling] There is a poisoned one-- isn't there, Smithers? Uh, no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers. They consider it murder. Damn their oily hides!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Damn their oily hides!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Relax, Simpson. I just brought you in here for a friendly hello. [Sighs] And good-bye! You're fired! [Gasps] But wait. Perhaps I'm being Too hasty. You are highly skilled... [Sighs] at goofing off!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Now, don't worry, Homer. You're the kind of guy I could really dig... a grave for! [Gasps] Your indolence is inefficacious! Oh? That means you're terrible!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Mr. Burns, I think he's dead. Oh, dear. Send a ham to his widow. Mmm. Ham. No, wait. He's alive. Oh, good. Cancel the ham. D'oh!", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "He was taking a bite, and his jaw locked. Hey, look. I can fit my entire fist in here. [Muffled] Hey, hey, hey. Cut it out. What's that, Chief? Cut it out.", "c": ["Doctor", "Chief Wiggum", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Ooh. Buy three tubes of Mr. Blister... get one free. [Phone Ringing] Hello. Yes. Oh, dear Lord! Homer's in the hospital! They think it's his heart! [Door Shuts] Oh, my God. What? Five cents off wax paper.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Marge, my whole life flashed before my eyes. [Flashback sequence of Homer as a child with angelic voice that cracks] What a voice. Young Homer is going to make me millionaire. [Voice cracks] Hey, my voice just changed. [Singing tunelessly] Dagnabbit!", "c": ["Homer", "Man from flashback"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "What a voice. Young Homer is going to make me a millionaire. [Voice Cracks, Deepens] Hey, my voice just changed. [Singing Tunelessly] Dagnabbit!", "c": ["Manager", "Young Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, I'm afraid you've just had a mild heart attack. But I'm out of the woods now, right? I mean, whatever doesn't kill me can only make me stronger. Oh, no. Quite the opposite. It's made you weak as a kitten.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Look! Hey, come on. Quit it. Coochy coochy coo! Stop. Please stop. Oh, you swing like a girl. Come on, now. Please have mercy. Got your nose. Not funny.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "How 'bout this little bee? [Buzzing] No! Oh! Remember your hippopotamus oath.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Remember your hippopotamus oath.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Well, we can't fix his heart... but we can tell you exactly how damaged it is. What an age we live in!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Now, Homer, this is a new body fat analysis test. I start you jiggling and measure how long it takes to stop. Whoo-hoo! Look at that blubber fly! Yes. Nurse, cancel my 1:00.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Say it in English, Doc. You're going to need open-heart surgery. Spare me your medical mumbo jumbo. We're going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker. Could you dumb it down a shade?", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "This procedure will cost you upwards of... $30,000. [Homer gasps, cries out, thud] I'm afraid it's now 40,000.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Now, how much do we have in the checkbook? Seventy dollars. Have we deposited any $40,000 checks that haven't cleared yet? No.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Marge. America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain-- well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Questions? Questions? Oh! My whole scheme down the-- I mean, ask away.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Oh, I thought that said 'brain hemorrhages.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Must... sign... policy! Sir, I'm sorry. We can't insure you. I made an 'H.' No, that doesn't count. It's like an 'X.'", "c": ["Homer", "Insurance agent"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Oh, Doctor, I was in a wonderful place filled with fire and brimstone. And there were all these guys in red pajamas sticking pitchforks in my butt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Maybe I should buy one of those machines. [Groaning] Oh, yeah. That's the stuff.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Now, I know I haven't been the best Christian. In fact, when you're up there 'blah, blah, blah-ing,' I'm usually doodling or mentally undressing the female parishioners.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Now, I know I haven't been the best Jew... but I rented Fiddler on the Roof, and I will watch it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Son, they call it a 'droodle.' Whoo-hoo! Look at it go!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Hi, everybody! Are you looking for a way to slash the cost... of your medical expenses? I will perform any operation for 129.95. Come in for brain surgery... and receive a free Chinese finger trap.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Come in for brain surgery... and receive a free Chinese finger trap. [Grunting]", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Call 1-600-DOCTORB. The 'B' is for 'bargain'!", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Well, Marge, we could do worse. How? Uh, some dog could do the operation.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Nothing you say can upset us. We're the MTV generation. We feel neither highs nor lows. Really? What's it like? Eh.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "So the tiny Aorta fairies will take Mr. Leg Vein on a long trip... to get married to Princess Left Ventricle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Dad, are you trying to tell us you're getting a coronary artery bypass graft? Uh, yeah.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "What if they botch it? I won't have a dad... for a while.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Kids. Kids. I'm not gonna die. That only happens to bad people. What about Abraham Lincoln? Uh-- He sold poisoned milk to schoolchildren.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Bed goes up. Bed goes down. Bed goes up. Bed goes down.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Well, if that don't put the 'dink' in co-inky-dink.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "I'm having a kidney and a lung removed. Who are you donating 'em to? First come, first serve.", "c": ["Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "If I could give you my heart, Homer, I would. Shut up, Flanders.", "c": ["Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Dr. Riviera. Dr. Nick Riviera. Please report to the coroner immediately. The coroner? I'm so sick of that guy.", "c": ["PA System", "Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Well, see you in the operating place. Where are the bodies? Oh, such a nice day. I think I'll go out the window. Ho!", "c": ["Dr. Nick", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Oh, such a nice day. I think I'll go out the window. Ho! [Objects clattering]", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, thank you For Ziggy comics, little baby ducks... and Sweatin' to the Oldies, volumes one, two and four.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "My dad is very sick. What's gonna happen if he dies? Well, if he's been good, he'll go to heaven. In heaven, you get to do Whatever you like best all the time. Cloud goes up. Cloud goes down.", "c": ["Lisa", "Sunday School Teacher"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Krusty, why are you here? Eh, it's part of my public service... for my glug-glug, vroom-vroom, thump-thump.", "c": ["Homer", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "You seem okay. Yeah? Well, I got news for ya. This ain't makeup.", "c": ["Homer", "Krusty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "They say the greatest tragedy is when a father outlives his son. I've never fully understood why that is. Frankly, I can see an upside to it.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "When I first heard about the operation, I was against it. But then I thought, if Homer wants to be a woman, so be it. Barney, I'm not getting a sex change! What? Well, what the hell am I supposed to do... with this jumbo thong bikini?", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Uh, Homer, I snuck you in a beer for old times' sake. Thanks, Moe. Uh, you know, Homer, that beer ain't free.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Mom, this is fascinating. Did you know that they'll stop Dad's heart for six whole minutes? I don't know if I like you reading all those cardiology books.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "And I've learned a great deal from this cow's heart I got at the butcher shop. Insert the retractor... and crank it until the ribs swing open like a rusty drawbridge.", "c": ["Lisa", "Narrator"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Insert the retractor... and crank it until the ribs swing open like a rusty drawbridge. [Bones cracking] Ah! No! Blood! Ugh! Next, make an incision in the coronary artery-- And we are back with more of People Who Look Like Things.", "c": ["Educational Video", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Oh, no! No! Someone taped over the end of this!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Oh, Homie, I could never remarry. Darn right. And to make sure, I want to be stuffed and put on the couch... as a constant reminder of our marital vows.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Bart, the saddest thing about this is I won't get to see you grow up... [Whispering] I know you're gonna turn out great, with or without your old man. Thanks, Dad. And Lisa... [Whispering] I guess this is the time to tell you-- [Whispering] you're adopted and I don't like you. Bart!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Bart, the saddest thing about this is I won't get to see you grow up, because-- [Whispering] I know you're gonna turn out great, with or without your old man.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Hi, everybody! Hi, Dr. Nick!", "c": ["Dr. Nick", "Everyone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "These gloves came free with my toilet brush.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Marge, this is Andre. Hello. [Chuckles] I think you two would make a lovely couple. My husband is still alive! Oh. Thank God. I hope he pulls through. Not me. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Patty", "Andre", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Poor Mr. Homer. Could it be that my snack treats... are responsible for his wretched health? Gimme some jerky. Would you like some vodka with that? Oh, what the hell. Sure.", "c": ["Apu", "Customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Doctor, what's wrong? Don't you know where to make the incision? All right, Nick. Don't panic. Think back to med school. Seriously, baby. I can prescribe anything I want. I know I'm supposed to cut something, but what? And where?", "c": ["Nurse", "Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Hey! The incision in the coronary artery... must be made below the blockage! Below! Thanks, little girl!", "c": ["Lisa", "Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "Well if it isn't my old friend Mr. McGreg... with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 11, "et": "Homers Triple Bypass"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Yabba dabba do!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "What do they do with these things after we seal 'em? I hear they dump 'em in an abandoned chalk mine and cover 'em with cement.", "c": ["Nuclear Plant Worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "I hear they're sending 'em to one of those southern states where the governor's a crook.", "c": ["Nuclear Plant Worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Either way, I'm sleeping good tonight.", "c": ["Nuclear Plant Worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Well, sir, where shall we dump this batch? The playground? No. All those bald children are arousing suspicion. To the park!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "I think it's full, sir. That's ridiculous! The last tree held nine drums.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Mr. Burns, in light of your unbelievable contempt for human life... this court fines you three million dollars. Smithers, my wallet's in my right front pocket.", "c": ["Judge", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Oh, and, uh, I'll take that statue of Justice too. Sold!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Oh, Andy Capp. You wife-beating drunk. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Mmm, excellent. Hello, Lisa. I'm Genghis Khan. You'll go where I go... defile what I defile, eat who I eat.", "c": ["Lisa", "VR Genghis Khan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Bart, we'll do anything you want. just call off your giant mechanical ants! Aah! [Laughing Evilly]", "c": ["Bart", "Citizens"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Like a giant billboard that says, 'No fat chicks'? No!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Could this town be any stupider? Order! Please rise for the, uh, Pledge of Allegiance. Get to the money!", "c": ["Lisa", "Mayor Quimby", "Citizens"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Don't you mean three million dollars? Of course. How silly of me.", "c": ["Homer", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Excuse me. We could use the money to hire firemen... to finally put out that blaze on the east side of town. Boring!", "c": ["Citizen", "Other Citizens"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Hello. My name is Mr. Snrub... and I come from, uh, someplace far away.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Yes, that will do. Anyway... I-I say we invest that money back in the nuclear plant. I like the way Snrub thinks.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Pardon me, but I would like to see this money... spent on more police officers. I have been shot eight times this year... and as a result, I almost missed work. Crybaby.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "My name is Marge Simpson, and I have an idea. It may sound a little boring at first. Chat a way. I'll just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards.", "c": ["Marge", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! Look at that pavement fly!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Oh! I ain't fer it. I'm agin it!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it, and danged if he knows how to use it. [Laughter] Mule.", "c": ["Lyle Lanley", "Citizens"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Probably the greatest-- Ah, it's not for you. It's more of a Shelbyville idea. Now wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. just tell us your idea, and we'll vote for it.", "c": ["Lyle Lanley", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook... and by gum, it put them on the map!", "c": ["Lyle Lanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide... electrified, six-car monorail. What'd I say? Monorail! What's it called? Monorail! That's right, monorail!", "c": ["Lyle Lanley", "Citizens"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "I hear those things are awfully loud. It glides as softly as a cloud. Is there a chance the track could bend? Not on your life, my Hindu friend.", "c": ["Citizen", "Lyle Lanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "What about us brain-dead slobs? You'll be given cushy jobs. Were you sent here by the devil? No, good sir. I'm on the level.", "c": ["Citizens", "Lyle Lanley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "The ring came off my pudding can! Take my pen knife, my good man. I swear it's Springfield's only choice. Throw up your hands and raise your voice.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "Lyle Lanley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "But Main Street's still all cracked and broken. Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Mono-- D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Well, you should have written a song like that guy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Miss Hoover? That is hard to believe. Oh, you. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Lyle Lanley", "Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Can it outrun The Flash? You bet. Can Superman outrun The Flash? Uh, sure. Why not?", "c": ["Student", "Lyle Lanley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "I'd like you to explain... why we should build a mass transit system... in a small town with a centralized population. [Chuckles] Young lady... that's the most intelligent question I've ever been asked. Really? Oh, I could give you an answer. But the only ones who'd understand it would be you and me... and that includes your teacher.", "c": ["Lisa", "Lyle Lanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Next question. You there, eating the paste.", "c": ["Lyle Lanley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Are you stuck in a dead-end job? Maybe. Are you squandering the precious gift Of life in front of the idiot box? What's it to you? Are you on your third beer of the evening? Does whiskey count as beer?", "c": ["TV Commercial", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Your lifelong dream was to run out on the field during a baseball game... and you did it last year, remember?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Before we begin, is anyone here an investigative reporter? I am, and she is. Well, I'd like you to please leave. Should we take our hidden camera? Would you?", "c": ["Lyle Lanley", "Reporters"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "True or false: You can get mono from riding the monorail. Mmm, false. No, wait. Maybe it's true. No, you were right. It's false.", "c": ["Instructor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "You know, I used to think you were stuck... in an emasculating, go-nowhere job. [Chuckles] Kids. But now, I wanna follow in your footsteps. Do you want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you Hoju.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "According to this book, the monorail goes over 1 50 miles an hour. What if something goes wrong? What if? What if I'm taking a shower and I slip on a bar of soap? Oh, my God, I'd be killed!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "We monorail conductors are a crazy breed... half in love with death, gobbling up danger like ordinary men eat peanuts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "So then, 'mono' means 'one,' and 'rail' means 'rail.' And that concludes our intensive three-week course.", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Homer, there's a family Of possums in here. I call the big one Bitey.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "How much did you see? Uh, nothing incriminating. Good. Well, bye.", "c": ["Lyle Lanley", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Go away! There ain't no monorail, and there never was!", "c": ["North Haverbrook Citizen"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "And the celebrity on the maiden voyage was Gallagher.", "c": ["Sebastian Kobb"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "I locked my keys in there. Get a rock.", "c": ["Sebastian Kobb"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Krusty, why won't you answer my calls? You've never even seen our son!", "c": ["Woman", "Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "He's cool, he's sexy, he's 34 years old.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "What ya been up to, Lurleen? I spent last night in a ditch.", "c": ["Announcer", "Lurleen Lumpkin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "I'd say this vessel could do at least warp five. And let me say... 'May the force be with you.' Do you even know who I am? I think I do. Weren't you one Of the Little Rascals?", "c": ["Leonard Nimoy", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Little lady, I'd love to, but I have to catch a plane. The ride only takes a minute. Yeah, well, my plane leaves in less than one minute.", "c": ["Lyle Lanley", "Child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "We're too late! I shouldn't have stopped for that haircut. Sorry.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Actually, you see, the doors on Star Trek were not mechanical. We had a stagehand on either side... who would pull the door open when he saw you approach.", "c": ["Leonard Nimoy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "The lever you have pulled--brakes-- Is not in service. Please make a note of it.", "c": ["Computerized Voice"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Well, judging by your husband's cowardly scream... 180 miles an hour.", "c": ["Leonard Nimoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Ah. It's making me dizzy. I'm gonna take a nap.", "c": ["Leonard Nimoy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "All right, I'm in charge here. Oh, run along, Quimby. I think they're dedicating a phone booth somewhere. Watch it, you talking tub of donut batter.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Hey, I got pictures of you, Quimby. You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Hey, according to the charter... as chief constable I'm supposed to get a pig every month... 'and two comely lasses of virtue true.' Keep the pig. How many broads do I get?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. We can just shut off the power! No such luck. It's solar-powered. Solar power. When will people learn?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Technician", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "A solar eclipse. The cosmic ballet goes on. Does anyone want to switch seats?", "c": ["Lisa", "Leonard Nimoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "North Haverbrook. Where have I heard that name before? Oh, no. Oh, no! There he is-- seat 3-F!", "c": ["Lyle Lanley", "North Haverbrook Citizens"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Krusty wants out! No. The world needs laughter.", "c": ["Krusty", "Leonard Nimoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you. Batman? No, he's a scientist. Batman's a scientist. It's not Batman!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Arr! Ya call that an anchor?", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Arr! Ya call that an anchor?", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? Dad, you're a hero. Yes, son. I'm the best mono-thingy guy there ever was.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Well, my work is done here. What do you mean, Your work is done? You didn't do anything. Didn't I?", "c": ["Leonard Nimoy", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "And that was the only folly... the people of Springfield ever embarked upon... except for the Popsicle stick skyscraper... and the 50-foot magnifying glass... and that escalator to nowhere.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "Whoa! Aah!", "c": ["Citizens"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 12, "et": "Marge Vs The Monorail"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Lance Murdock jumping 16 blazing school buses then saying 'I'm goin' to Duff Gardens!'", "c": ["Lance Murdock"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "To be completed in 1994. [Groaning, Screams]", "c": ["Announcer", "Riders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Now, what do we say when we get to the ticket booth? 'We're under six.' And I'm a college student.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "'Bout yay high, blue hair, big dent in her forehead? No, honey. Gladys looked more like your Aunt Patty.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "[Shudders] Oh, yeah. There she is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "But I wanna go to Duff Gardens right now! Oh, Homer, quit pouting. I'm not pouting. I'm mourning. Stupid dead woman.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "We're hugging us. What do we do? Just close your eyes and think of MacGyver.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Hey, you don't hear Lisa complaining. [Muffled Whimpering]", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "[Thinking] Yeah. The legend of the dog-faced woman. [Laughing] Legend of the dog-faced woman. Oh, that's good!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. That was Prince of Tides.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "That's a woman? Dear Lord! Well, I guess most of what I said can be salvaged.", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Take a seat, bozo. And that eulogy better not show up on the bill.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Gladys lived alone, died alone. I guess you could say she was a role model for Selma and me.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Boy, am I hungry. I mean I'm really, really hungry. It's just not fair, damn it! [Sobbing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "[Throaty Voice] Don't worry about it. [Screaming]", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "She left a video will, so I earn my fee simply by pressing this 'Play' button. Pretty sweet, hey?", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "All in favor of skipping the poem. Thank you.", "c": ["Homer", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "To my executor, Lionel Hutz I leave $50,000. Mr. Hutz! You'd be surprised how often that works. You really would.", "c": ["Gladys", "Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "These chips were my children, Marjorie. Take special care of them. [Crunching] Uh-oh.", "c": ["Gladys", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that killed her?", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Don't die lonely like me. Raise a family, and do it now. Now! Now! Now!", "c": ["Gladys"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Don't worry. We'll get that 'barking dog' record tomorrow. Patty, I want a baby.", "c": ["Selma", "Patty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "You're lookin' at a free lunch, boys. Come and get it. [Imitates Tiger Snarl]", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "[Scottish Accent] Ach! Back to the loch with you, Nessie.", "c": ["Dating Service Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Mostly corn syrup, a little rubbing alcohol. You'll be lucky if it doesn't make your hair fall out actually.", "c": ["Gypsy Fortune Teller"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "So, wearing a belt, are ya? Yep. No suspenders for you. I guess not.", "c": ["Selma", "Store Clerk"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "I'm not allowed to date customers. It's store policy. No, it isn't. Ow! Shut up, Arnold.", "c": ["Store Clerk", "Co-worker", "Arnold"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Cold biscuits... chicken... yellow... mailman. You're reading the wine list, sir.", "c": ["Selma", "Waiter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Ew! Get outta my car.", "c": ["Selma's Date"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "where roaming gangs aren't a big problem anymore.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Aunt Selma, this may be presumptuous but have you ever considered artificial insemination? Boy, I don't know. You gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot.", "c": ["Lisa", "Selma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "All done! Thank you. Always a pleasure. What a beautiful little girl. [Loud Belch]", "c": ["Sperm Bank Worker", "Baby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "A Nobel Prize winner! An NBA All-Star! Ooh! One of the Sweathogs. I checked. It's not Horshack.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Ooh! You look just like your picture.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "I got a lotta love to give and, right now, my only outlet is my ham radio.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "No man will want you. All I got now is sperm in a cup.", "c": ["Marge", "Selma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Oh, great. Dad's dead.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Geez, we hardly made a dent in that 10-foot hoagie. Well, I'll give it a good home. Mm!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Two more feet, and I can fit it in the fridge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment. Are you going to eat it? Yes.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "To get to Duff Gardens, I'd ride with Satan himself. That's the spirit.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "This is all your fault! It-- Oh, how can I stay mad at you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Twenty-two immigrant laborers died during its construction. Plenty more where that came from.", "c": ["Sign", "Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Hey! Take a picture. It'll last longer. Get outta here.", "c": ["Surly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "This is a disgrace. Settle down. Anything this bad has to be educational.", "c": ["Selma", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "What are the odds of getting sick on a Saturday? 1,000-to-1.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Yentl? What's that? It deals with a bookish young woman's efforts to enter rabbinical school. Sounds great! Oh, my God! You're delirious.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "You're charming the pants off of me. What did you say, Aunt Selma? I said take off those damn glasses!", "c": ["Bart", "Selma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Get bent.", "c": ["Surly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "That Yentl puts the 'she' in yeshiva. Hmm. Well, you've cooled down. That's what you think. [Imitates Tiger Growl]", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "The Erotic Adventures of Hercules with Norman Fell as Zeus. Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "I wanna get off! You can't get off. We have five more continents to visit.", "c": ["Lisa", "Ride Operator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "They're all around me! No way out! No way out, I tell you!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Hercules! The Cyclops tore off my clothes.", "c": ["TV Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Ahh! I can see the music.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Can't you do something? Hey. Surly only looks out for one guy-- Surly. Sorry, Surly. Shut up.", "c": ["Selma", "Surly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "I think their father is missing a chromosome.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "I am the Lizard Queen!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm not a doctor.", "c": ["Duff Gardens Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "Come to Homercles! I can't. The beans will burn. Homercles cares not for beans.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "You take an ordinary bed sheet, fold it around like this-- No. I mean raising kids.", "c": ["Homer", "Selma"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "When I went to pick him up, Mom was trying to stab him with a hat pin.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 13, "et": "Selmas Choice"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Eye of the tiger, Bart. Eye of the-- [Grunts] - I stopped it. - And I hurt somebody. Ha-ha.", "c": ["Coach", "Nelson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Thanks, Dad!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "It's called Barton Fink.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Barton Fink! Barton Fink! Barton Fink!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Other kids"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "What'd you say, Marge?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Tonight on Wings-- Ah, who cares?", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson. Homer Simpson. Pick up Bart. Pick up Bart!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Trab Pu Kcip. Trab Pu Kcip!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Bart. Bart. Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart. - Bart. - [Belching] Bart.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Pick up Bart. Pick up Bart. 'Pigabar'? What the hell is 'pigabar'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Why? How? When? Which?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Dad, hide your shame! - Hey, Homie! I can see your doodle. - Shutup, Flanders.", "c": ["Bart", "Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "We could sit here and try to figure out who forgot to pick up who till the cows come home. But let's just say we're both wrong, and that'll be that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Well, actually the last half hour's a real garbage dump.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "I miss Joe Piscopo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "My name is Bart Simpson and I don't have a father.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "This goes on for 12 more minutes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Yeah. He left me out on the curb for the ashman. What a revoltin' development.", "c": ["Pepi"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Marge, when kids these days say 'bad,' they mean 'good.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "And to shake your booty means to wiggle one's butt. Permit me to demonstrate. - No!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "It's not fair. It's not fair, I tells ya.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Dad, can I-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "All right, Mom. I promise you will never be billed for another call.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Nineteen. - Hit me. - Twenty. - Hit me. - Twenty-one. - Hit me. - Twenty-two. - D'oh!", "c": ["Dealer", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Boo! This is better than dart day.", "c": ["Crowd", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Here's a good one-- 'Hawkeye's antics irritate the other surgeons.'", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: Glory, story-- allegory, Montessori.", "c": ["Corey Hotline"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "That's not meatball soup. That's my collection of fur balls in stomach acid.", "c": ["Stimpy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Don't thank me. Thank an unprecedented eight-year military buildup.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Uh, I have a horsie. [Imitates Neighing]", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Wuss!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "We'll show 'em all! [Laughing] [Snoring]", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Hi, this is Corey. I hope you and I can get married someday.", "c": ["Corey Hotline"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "So long... science. Ah, music and art.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Good Lord! That's a 900 number.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Canada stalls on trade pact.", "c": ["Corey Hotline"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Bart, I could kiss you if the Bigger Brothers hadn't made me sign a form promising I wouldn't.", "c": ["Tom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "How would you like me to take it? 'Go ahead, Bart. Have your fun. I'll be waiting for you'? I'm sorry. I can't do it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge. Uh, revenge?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Ugly. Wiener. Crater-face. Suey! Suey!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "I'll take him. Do you have him in blond?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Oh, there's Mother now-- watching me. What's that, Mother? They have a right to be here. It's school business. I-- Mother, that sailor suit doesn't fit anymore!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Just like Oscar the Grouch.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Your son Bart sounds very bad. Oh, he is.", "c": ["Pepi", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Because it's a stupid piece of junk!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Well, there's jerry the cowboy. And that big dipper looking thing is Alan... the cowboy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "'Learnd,' son. It's pronounced 'learnd.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "I love you, Papa Homer. I love you too, Pepsi. Pepi. Pepi.", "c": ["Pepi", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "I made it.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Who the hell is Pepi? He's my little brother. That's right. You're not the only one who can abuse a nonprofit organization.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "I was fakin' it. - Liar! - Remember this? 'Higher, Dad. Higher. Whee! Whee! Push harder, Dad.' - Hey, stop that.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "You know, the whale is not really a fish. They're mammals, like you and me. Is that true? No.", "c": ["Tom", "Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Hey! He got my hot dog!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "His father-- the drunken gambler? That's right.", "c": ["Tom", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Early reports indicate one of the fighters is a giant lizard. Do we have a source on this? A bunch of drunken frat boys.", "c": ["News Anchor", "Reporter"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "This is even more painful than it looks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "I already bought a giant ham for dinner. It's gonna go to waste. Don't talk about food. I'm so hungry.", "c": ["Homer", "Tom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Dad, remember when Tom had you in that headlock and you screamed, 'I'm a hemophiliac' and when he let you go you kicked him in the back?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "First, you gotta shriek like a woman. And keep sobbing till he turns away in disgust. That's when it's time to kick some back.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "And then when he's lying out on the ground-- Yeah? Kick him in the ribs. Yeah? Step on his neck. Yeah? And run like hell.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 14, "et": "Brother From The Same Planet"}, {"t": "Radio DJ plays monster movie theme as Valentine's Day love song, then gets called out by co-host", "c": ["Marty", "Announcer #2"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Grampa: 'Bah! This is just another Hallmark holiday cooked up to sell cards.' [beat] 'Ohh. A valentine from my granddaughter.'", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Moe receiving valentine 'from your secret admirer' in meek voice, followed by Barney's romantic advances", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Homer panicking about forgetting Valentine's Day: 'Is it bacon day? No. That's crazy talk.'", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Nobody makes a big deal out of Valentine's Day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Homer claims gift is 'upstairs, on the second floor of our house' then runs away", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Apu selling Valentine's gift for $100: 'Oh, I think you will' when Homer refuses to pay", "c": ["Apu", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "You saved my life. How much? One hundred dollars. What? That's highway robbery. I won't pay it.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Apu's internal monologue: 'If he discovers the discount supermarket next door, all is lost'", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Miss Hoover responds to student questioning busywork: 'Bull's-eye. Get cracking.'", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "'The children are right to laugh at you, Ralph' - Miss Hoover's brutal honesty", "c": ["Miss Hoover", "Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Ralph ate his red crayon, explaining why he doesn't have one", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum", "Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Skinner's announcement about 'crude, off-color sentiments' on candy hearts, 'possibly Bart Simpson'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Bart watching violent TV: 'Cool! I broke his brain.'", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Ralph: 'I glued my head to my shoulder' delivered weakly", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Lisa takes pity on Ralph who received no valentines", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Ralph: 'You choo-choo-choose me?' - reading Lisa's train valentine literally", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "It doesn't look very clean. Just do your job, heart boy.", "c": ["Lunch Lady", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Bart's fake medical emergency: 'My baboon heart. Body... rejecting it.'", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "It says, 'Choo-choo-choose me...' and there's a picture of a train. Yeah. Nice gag.", "c": ["Ralph", "Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Ralph's awkward conversation: 'do you like... stuff?'", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Ralph oversharing about nosebleeds and finger-picking", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Everyone's always kissing your ass. Well, I'm not afraid to tell you you're a-- [Bleep]", "c": ["Sideshow Mel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Sideshow Mel censored on Krusty show: 'You're a--[bleep]'", "c": ["Sideshow Mel", "Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Homer threatening to sell Bart: 'You'll do as you're told'", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Grampa's wisdom about pity in romance: 'Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?'", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "I like you as a friend. I think we should see other people. I no speak English.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Homer's escalating rejection phrases ending with 'I'm not gay, but I'll learn'", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Homer's advice about persistence while violently attacking a jar, then shooting it", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Krusty's dark anniversary humor: 'And you know where those reviewers are? All dead.'", "c": ["Krusty the Clown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Krusty's 'urine monkey' bit with dawning realization", "c": ["Krusty the Clown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Homer finding perfectly good toothbrush in Flanders' trash: 'Eww.'", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Bart's crude response to Ralph: 'She's in the can. Go away.'", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, the tar fumes are making me dizzy! Yeah, they'll do that.", "c": ["Ralph", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "What? This is a travesty! Everyone knows I'm the best actor in this ridiculous school!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Rex's theatrical outburst over casting: 'Someone's gotten to you, you deceitful cow!'", "c": ["Rex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Chief Wiggum's corruption revealed through car boot removal signal", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Ralph's note in Malibu Stacy car: 'Look in the tunk' (meaning trunk)", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Bart's absurd Krusty Home Pregnancy Test reference", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Bart's escalating sacrifice offers for Krusty tickets ending with 'You don't wanna know how far I'll go'", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Sure, it is, honey. You do mean stealing, don't you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Homer's terrible parenting advice: 'Your conscience? Lisa, don't let that pushy little weenie tell you what to do.'", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Ralph: 'I am so glad you cho-cho-chose to come' at Krusty show", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Chief Wiggum's confusion about porn bust: 'Uh, yeah... that's just what it is-- a bust'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Krusty's political joke: 'I campaigned for the other guy, but I voted for you!'", "c": ["Krusty the Clown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Krusty's dated reference: 'I started this show so long ago, the ayatollah only had a goatee'", "c": ["Krusty the Clown"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Krusty's bombing with crowd: 'What's the matter? Don't you people read the papers?'", "c": ["Krusty the Clown"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Ralph offers Lisa ice cream, Homer says 'Send it this way, boy' and Ralph drops it", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum", "Homer Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Uh, the script says I'm supposed to bonk you with this. I wouldn't. Right on.", "c": ["Krusty", "Sideshow Raheem"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Ralph's innocent declaration on TV: 'I love Lisa Simpson, and when I grow up, I'm going to marry her!'", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum", "Krusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Lisa's brutal rejection: 'Now, you listen to me! I don't like you! I never liked you! And the only reason I gave you that stupid valentine is 'cause nobody else would!'", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Bart's cruel observation: 'Watch this, Lise. You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half.'", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "At least you guys are my friends.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Chief Wiggum's misguided parenting: 'Son, I know just how you feel-- You got a great little girl, and the world's your oyster. No, Dad. She made a fool out of me. Hey, come to think of it, she did.'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Now, where did I put my badge? Hey, that duck's got it! Oh, come on. Come on. Give it back. I need it. Aww, keep it.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Duck stealing Chief Wiggum's police badge and his resignation to it", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Wiggum's corrupt traffic stop fears: 'They are? Oh, no! Have they set a date?'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Skinner's self-blame revelation: 'So Mother was right. It was my fault.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "My God, man. I've watered her down as far as she'll go. I cannot water no more.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Bart as John Wilkes Booth: 'I am not a butt!' causing chaos", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Bart's Terminator reference as assassin: 'Hasta la vista, Abie'", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "You're next, Chester A. Arthur!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "I asked for no broth. Away with you, lest my cane find your backside!", "c": ["Ralph as George Washington"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Groundskeeper Willie's emotional breakdown: 'I didna cry when me own father was hung for stealin' a pig... but I'll cry now.'", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Lisa's 'Let's bee friends' valentine with bee picture", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "Radio DJ callback: 'Doggone it!' - plays wrong song again", "c": ["Marty"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 15, "et": "I Love Lisa"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Go-Go Ray demonstration making someone dance uncontrollably", "c": ["Science Fair Student"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "I'm disrupting the learning process, and I love it!", "c": ["Dancing Victim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Why are you saying that? / Just screwin' with your mind.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Yeah. Syrup is better than jelly.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "The kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of excellence? / The very same.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "More tomato? / Yes, please. / Yes, please.", "c": ["Foreign Character", "Others"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Little do they know, I'm ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Heh, heh, heh! They don't suspect a thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Did I say that or just think it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery? / [Shrieks] [Door slams]", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "If the plant ye wish to flee, go to Sector 7-B.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "To overcome the spider's curse, simply quote a Bible verse. / Thou shalt not-- / D'oh!", "c": ["Unknown", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Hey. That looks like Princess Di. / Aw, wait. It's just a pile of rags.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Soitenly. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.37, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Over, under, in and out. That's what shoe tying's all about.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Huh? / [Distorted] No!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Now, I'm sure all of you have heard the rumors that a batch of Duff was contaminated with strychnine. / Strychnine? / Well, everyone's talking about it. It was even on CNN last night.", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Crowd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Duff Beer! Proud sponsors of Amos 'N' Andy.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "The man never drank a Duff in his life.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "What does the future hold for Duff? / Like what? / I'd rather not get into it right now. / Why not? / All right. We don't have any ideas for the future. We got nothing. Happy? / No.", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Help me! Help me! / What's so funny? / I was just thinkin' of a joke I saw on Herman's Head.", "c": ["Hamster", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Fine. Fine. Mouse. Fine. Mouse. / Rat. Fine. Syringe. Fine. Nose. Fine.", "c": ["Quality Control Worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Let me just say you're doin' a great job, Phil. / Hey, thanks a lot. That makes it all worthwhile.", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Phil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Mmm! Gummi Beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Are you crazy? We still haven't tried Raspberry Duff, Lady Duff, Tartar Control Duff--", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "I'm trying to knock you out. / Ow! Cut it out! / Ow! Ow!", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Look alive, boys. Couple of stewed prunes headin' your way.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Flawless. / We also would've accepted 'Tell me what you think of me.'", "c": ["Police Officers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Think you can get this car home? / Sure thing, giant beer.", "c": ["Police Officer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Your husband was found D.O.A. / Oh, my God! He's dead? / Oh, wait. I mean D.W.I. / I always get those two mixed up.", "c": ["Police Officer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Surprise witnesses-- each more surprising than the last. / I tell you-- the judge won't know what hit him.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Your Honor, I'd like that last remark stricken from the record. No.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz", "Judge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "this little guy writes mysteries under the name of J.D. Mac Gregor. / How can a hamster write mysteries? / Well, he gets the ending first. Then he works backward.", "c": ["Pet Store Owner", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Look, kid, just take him before his mother eats him.", "c": ["Pet Store Owner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Ha ha! Stupid bicycle. Can't believe this. No-good, rotten-- [Rings bell] I guess it's not all bad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "I propose to determine the answer to the question: Is my brother dumber than a hamster?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Ah! Remarkable.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Hamster: one. Bart: zero.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Oh! A wise guy, eh? / Ow! Ow! Ow!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Hamster: two. Bart: zero.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "this film will scare the pants off of ya. / Aah! / Guys, guys! This is the wrong movie.", "c": ["Instructor", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Hi! I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such driver's ed films as Alice's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass and The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Here's an appealing fellow. In fact, they're a-peeling him off the sidewalk. / It's funny 'cause I don't know him.", "c": ["Troy McClure", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "No, wait. Coping with Senility.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "It's been 4,000 days since my last drink. It was my first-- and last-- blackberry schnapps.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Ann Landers is a boring old biddy. / Ned! / I was more animal than man! [Sobbing]", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "My name is Otto. I love to get blotto.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "My name is Homer, and I'm just here because the court made me come.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old.", "c": ["Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "My name is Homer, and I'm just here because the court made me come. / Homer, with our help, you'll never touch a beer again. / [Shrieks]", "c": ["Homer", "Group Leader"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Homer, with our help, you'll never touch a beer again. [Shrieks]", "c": ["AA Leader", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Does the Lord count as a person? / No. / Then, yes.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Do you need a beer to fall asleep? / Thank you. That'd be nice.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Do you ever drink to escape from reality? [Homer humming and dancing]", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Did you say 'beer' or 'deer'? - Deer. - Please, Homie. I know you can do this.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "You got it. No deer for a month. / Did you say 'beer' or 'deer'? / Deer.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "What was that noise? / I was saying, 'Psst! I love you.'", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Well, beer, we've had some great times.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "She'll pay for this. I'm gonna crush her like this pellet. / Ow! Ow! Ow!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "To find it, you'll need to decipher a series of clues, each more fiendish-- / Got it. / D'oh!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Dang! I was aimin' for his head.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "One for you, one for me. [Gulps] One for you, one for me.", "c": ["Car Owner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Can hamsters fly planes?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Oh, look. He's got miniature goggles on. - Aw. And a little scarf. Isn't that adorable!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "But this project has no scientific merit! Take a hike, sister. Sour grapes.", "c": ["Lisa", "Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Lisa, every good scientist is half B.F. Skinner and half P.T. Barnum.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? / [All giggling] Yeah! Yeah! All right!", "c": ["Bar Patrons"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "I never realized how boring this game is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "You can fit your whole head in it. / Don't be scared, JubJub. It's Mama.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers. / I cast thee out!", "c": ["Homer", "Group Member"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "The other day, I was so desperate for a beer... I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers. I cast thee out!", "c": ["Homer", "AA Member"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Chugalug, chugalug, chugalug.", "c": ["Train/Homer's Mind"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Send the kids to the neighbors. I'm comin' back loaded.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "You don't sweat while you eat anymore.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "You don't sweat while you eat anymore.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "I found it in your pants. Yoink!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Look who it is-- Mr. 'I Don't Need Alcohol to Enjoy Life.' / We hate 'im, right, fellas?", "c": ["Moe", "Bar Patrons"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "Yesterday, you called Homer a worthless sack of-- / Pipe down, rub-a-dub! / Ow.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "You'll be back! And so will you... and you... and you. / Of course I'll be back. If you didn't close, I'd never leave.", "c": ["Moe", "Customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 16, "et": "Duffless"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Swank. Ten times more addictive than marijuana.", "c": ["McBain villain"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "That is one evil dude. It's just a movie, son. There's nobody that evil in real life.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Benefits, perks, a green cookie on St. Patrick's Day?", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Then we'll go too far and get corrupt and shiftless... and the Japanese will eat us alive!", "c": ["Past worker"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "The Japanese? Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders? [Laughs] Bosh! Flimshaw!", "c": ["Past Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "If only we had listened to that boy... instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "How often do you brush, Ralph? Three times a day, sir. Why must you turn my office into a house of lies? You're right! I don't brush! [Crying] I don't brush.", "c": ["Dr. Wolfe", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "The Big Book of British Smiles", "c": ["Dr. Wolfe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "You know that rattle when you shake up spray paint? That's a kid's tooth.", "c": ["Dr. Wolfe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I'll be socially unpopular. More so.", "c": ["Lisa", "Dr. Wolfe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Cool! She'll be a freak. We can stick her in a trailer, drive her around the South and charge two bits a gander.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Where's my burrito? Where's my burrito? Where's my burrito? Ow!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Dental plan! Lisa needs braces. Dental plan! Lisa needs braces.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Bull's-eye! Thanks a lot, Carl. Now I've lost my train of thought.", "c": ["Homer", "Carl"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Yoink!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Well, I wouldn't have old chomper here, that's for sure.", "c": ["Gummy Joe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Actually, sir, he thwarted your campaign for governor... you ran over his son, he saved the plant from meltdown... and his wife painted you in the nude-- Eh, doesn't ring a bell.", "c": ["Smithers", "Burns"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Hey, what does this job pay? Nothin'. D'oh! Unless you're crooked. Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Homer", "Union member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "And make lifelong connections to the world of organized crime. Hmm. Organized crime.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Don Homer, I have baked a special donut just for you. Mmm. Grazie.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Dad, I'll trade you this delicious doorstop for your crummy old Danish. Done and done! D'oh!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "These braces are invisible, painless... and periodically release a delightful burst... of Calvin Klein's Obsession for Teeth.", "c": ["Dr. Wolfe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "These predate stainless steel... so you can't get them wet.", "c": ["Dr. Wolfe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Hey, Lenny, can you get this Sugar Daddy off my back? Okay, but it's the last time.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me? Oh, my God! He is coming on to me. [Silent Scream]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "This is the scraper, this is the poker... and this happy little fellow is the gouger.", "c": ["Dr. Wolfe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Look, fellas! It's Lisa in the sky! No diamonds though. Look out for the campy drawing of Queen Victoria!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Goons. Who? Hired goons. Hired goons?", "c": ["Marge", "Goons"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "You know, you could have just called me. Oh, yes, but the telephone is so impersonal. I prefer the hands-on touch you only get with hired goons.", "c": ["Homer", "Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "\u00a1Ay, un gato malodoro!", "c": ["Spanish TV announcer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "It was the best of times, it was the 'blurst' of times? You stupid monkey!", "c": ["Burns", "Monkey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Gee, it's not as nice as the other rooms. Yes, I really should stop ending the tour with it.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Why did I have all that beer and coffee and watermelon? It doesn't take a whiz to see that you're looking out for number one. Well, listen to me, and you'll make a big splash very soon.", "c": ["Homer", "Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Simpson, be a dear and rub my legs till the feeling comes back. A bug, I tell you! A bug!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Guys are always patting my bald head for luck... pinchin' my belly to hear my girlish laugh. That doesn't sound like they like you at all. You're right. First thing tomorrow, I'm gonna punch Lenny in the back of the head.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "I bet you've got a beautiful smile. Why don't you share it with the world? [Gasps] There is no God!", "c": ["Photographer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Who keeps saying that? It was him. Let's get him, fellas.", "c": ["Homer", "Workers"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "We can't bust heads like we used to... but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere...", "c": ["Old strikebreaker"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "So I tied an onion to my belt... which was the style at the time. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt... which was the style at the time.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you'd say.", "c": ["Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur. [Screams] My director is telling me not to talk to you anymore.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Fifteen minutes from now, I will wreak a terrible vengeance on this city! No one will be spared! No one!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "They sing without juicers. They sing without blenders. They sing without flunjers, capdabblers and smendlers!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Smithers, I'm beginning to think that Homer Simpson... was not the brilliant tactician I thought he was.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Oh, honey, you can hardly see your new braces! And that's the tooth!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Oops. I left the gas on.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 17, "et": "Last Exit To Springfield"}, {"t": "Ha, ha! April Fools'. I've been keeping that carton of milk next to the furnace for six weeks. Sucker!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life... if you had an electrified fooling machine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "God bless those pagans.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Blood for Baal! Blood for Baal!", "c": ["Pagans"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "New Year's was three months ago, but here's a present anyhoo. It's ram's blood for your godless ceremony.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles' heel, if you will.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Beer. Beer is the cheese. But how to use it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Whoo! It's a good thing that beer wasn't shaken up any more... or I'd have looked quite the fool, an April fool, as it were.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Wow! I'm in pizza-face paradise! Moron.", "c": ["Kid", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "\u00a1Ay! No es bueno.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Excessive alcohol consumption can cause liver damage... and cancer of the rectum. Mmm, beer.", "c": ["Announcer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place. Forget it. That's two blocks away.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney. I am proceeding on foot. Call in a code eight. We need pretzels.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "April Fools'. He's very much alive... although I'm afraid he may never walk again.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Bart, how could you shock your little sister? My finger slipped-- Ahh! So did mine-- [Yelps] Bart, Lisa, stop that!", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "This is the greatest thrill of my life! I'm king of the world!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "You're a veterinarian? That's right. And for an extra $20... I'll give Homer a tick bath and then spay him.", "c": ["Marge", "Veterinarian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Shop around. You can't beat that price.", "c": ["Veterinarian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "It's true. You have good coping skills.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "No! No! Beer bring pain!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge, what if I wind up as some vegetable watching TV on the couch? My important work will never be completed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "[Homer thinking] Chocolate. Chocolate.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Can't breathe. Sweet chocolate... cutting off air. Mmm! Nuts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Coma? Pfftt. Why, I go in and out of comas all the-- [Snores]", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "It's like one of those TV shows where they show a bunch of clips from old episodes.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Hi, everybody! [All] Hi, Dr. Nick.", "c": ["Dr. Nick", "Everyone"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Just to be safe, we better pull the plug. Yoink!", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "I have an unorthodox solution-- a fantastic voyage, if you will. Three scientists-- one a beautiful woman-- will be shrunk to microscopic size. They will then rendezvous in Mr. Simpson's lower colon.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "There and there. Don't worry. The blood'll hold it right on your face. And that's how we shave.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Gotcha! It's April Fools' for two more minutes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Dad, it's May 16. You were in that coma for seven weeks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "You lost five percent of your brain. Me lose brain? Uh-oh! Why I laugh?", "c": ["Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 18, "et": "So Its Come To This A Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Hey, I don't do The Jewish stuff on the air.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Ix-nay on the ew-Jay. Roll the cartoon.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "It's so sad that Krusty is ashamed of his roots.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Marge, it happened again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "This is a rather lifeless outing.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Don't worry. They're building to something.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Ehh, I could pull a better cartoon out of my a-- [Chuckles] Hey! Whoa! Wasn't that great, kids?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "That's as bad as the tasteless 'Itchy and Sambo' cartoons of the late '30s.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Cartoons have writers? Ehh, sort of.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Bart, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Probably not.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Lie in the snow and count to 60.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "'Third notice'? 'Final notice'? 'Some guys are coming'?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Gee, that's odd. They didn't send one to you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "This is it, Homer. It's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "No, the other secret.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Well, that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait. Maybe it does.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Marge, ix-nay on the uclear-nay echnician-tay.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "What did you say? I don't know. I flunked Latin too.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "opens a box of flesh-eating ants... and the rest writes itself.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "All right, then to decide it I propose a race around the world. Meet me at Leicester Square at noon tomorrow. The queen herself shall drop the checkered flag.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Look, there's only one reasonable way to settle this-- rock, paper, scissors.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Poor, predictable Bart. Always takes rock. Good old rock. Nothing beats that.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "If I puked in a fountain pen and mailed it to the monkey house, I'd get better scripts.", "c": ["Roger Meyers Jr."], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Oh, at Harvard they taught you? Hit the streets, egghead! You should've majored in not getting fired.", "c": ["Roger Meyers Jr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "You, sir, have the boorish manners of a Yalie!", "c": ["Harvard Writer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "He let those guys use his checkbook for a whole year.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Well, whenever I'm confused I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Grampa, how'd you take off your underwear without taking off your pants? I don't know!", "c": ["Bart", "Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "That's right. I did the Iggy.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Time to go to the reunion. It'll be great to see the old gang again-- Potsie, Ralph Malph, the Fonz.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "That was Happy Days. No, they weren't all happy days. Like the time Pinky Tuscadero crashed her motorcycle. Or the night I lost all my money to those card sharks... and my dad Tom Bosley had to get it back.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Look, there's Bobby Mindich, the class clown. I... am not a crook! [Laughs] Eh? Richard Nixon. I know!", "c": ["Marge", "Bobby"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Sorry, sir. We're not letting vagrants sleep in the gym tonight. But we will be putting some scraps by the back door.", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Hello, Marge. Have you heard? I'm stinking rich. Jealous?", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "I'll bet you'd trade it all for one night with my wife. I would.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Hey, Man, it's Dave! Open up, Man! Dave's not here, Man. The guy's so high, he doesn't even know that's Dave!", "c": ["Reunion Attendees"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "How'd you do it, Homer? I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch.", "c": ["Person", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "It hasn't been easy staying in my rut.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "This is Howard Co-smell. Homer Simpson is a boob. What do you think, J.J.? Dy-no-mite!", "c": ["Howard Cosell Impersonator", "J.J. Walker Impersonator"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Barney, where's your cummerbund? It fell in the toilet.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "You're a comedy writer? My God, you're so old. I want my check!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "His name is Abraham Simpson... and he's got something you couldn't get at your fancy schools-- life experience. I spent 40 years as a night watchman at a cranberry silo.", "c": ["Roger Meyers Jr.", "Grampa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Dad, whatever you say... you know you'll always have my love and respect. I never graduated from high school. [Laughing] [Choking]", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "They pay me $800 a week to tell a cat and mouse what to do!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "All right. But if he starts to wig out, try to lure him into the cellar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "I dreamt I was the queen of the Old West. I kept a six-shooter in my garter, I did.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Sometimes to save money... our animators will reuse the same backgrounds over and over and over again.", "c": ["Roger Meyers Jr."], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "My, uh, wife recently passed away. I thought teaching might ease my loneliness. Will this be on the test? No! Oh!", "c": ["Teacher", "Student", "Teacher", "Student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "The bright blue flame indicates this was a particularly sweet doughnut.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "From now on, the fate of the entire company rests on that delightful coconut of yours.", "c": ["Roger Meyers Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "All right, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you... but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "It's a deal!", "c": ["Homer's Brain"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Well, here we are. The star of The Blue Lagoon and me, the blue-haired goon!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "What the-- That's terrible! First of all, my hair is green, not blue. I got nothin' to work with here. Nothin'!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Cross my fingers for me. [Snap] That's gonna hurt come winter.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "That was the first time I ever saw Itchy and Scratchy... and I didn't like it one bit! It was disgusting and violent! I think all you people are despicable! For shame!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "I'll never watch an awards show again. Unless that delightful Billy Crystal's involved.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "At our next high school reunion, I'll have nothing to be ashamed of. Simpson. Is that a plunger stuck on your head? D'oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Dondelinger"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "Simpson. Is that a plunger stuck on your head? D'oh!", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "We're not going to church today. [Gasps] What? You give me one good reason! It's Saturday! Okilly-dokilly-do!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 19, "et": "The Front"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams] [Tires Screeching]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Children, we've just been tipped off that Superintendent Chalmers... is planning a surprise inspection. So, let's clean up this pigsty.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "I want you to keep filling your shirt with crud till I get back. Y-Yes, sir.", "c": ["Skinner", "Unnamed Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Fools. [Evil Laugh] [Laughter Continues]", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Oops. Still on. [Shuts Off]", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Hey, what do you think he meant by that 'fools' remark? Aw, who cares? Time to get me a mountain bike.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Sorry about the ruse, gentlemen. [Grunts] You're being swept under the rug for the superintendent's visit.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Would the world judge me harshly if I threw away the key? No, but the P.T.A. would tear you a new arse.", "c": ["Skinner", "Willie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Wise counsel, William. But the potty-talk adds nothing. Aye, sir. You bath-taking, underpants-wearing lily hugger.", "c": ["Skinner", "Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "We're dropping the geography requirement. The children weren't testing well. It was proving to be an embarrassment.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Very good. Back to the three 'R's.' Two 'R's' come October.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "What do you think of the banners? Transparent toadying. They were the children's idea. I tried to stop them.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "It's always the children's fault, isn't it, Seymour? Yes. Yes, it is, sir.", "c": ["Chalmers", "Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Imagine-- a school out there with no bullies. Science geeks not getting beat up. Kids using their lunch money for food. I can't take it! [Grunts]", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "May I interest you in a Jell-O brick, sir? There's a grape in the center. Well, I'm not made of stone.", "c": ["Lunch Lady Doris", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "You're not made of stone. [Chuckles] A brick and you're not made of... stone.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Were it not a violation of God's law, I'd make you my wife. [Loud Kiss] Now thar's a lonely man.", "c": ["Willie", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "I'm new in town. Be there a cool loch... where a lass could wash her long, red hair? Nay, but there's a pool at me apartment complex. There was a rat in the deep end. But we got 'im!", "c": ["Woman", "Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Well, let's, uh, pick one at random. Mmm, how about that one? You mean this boy here? No! No. Lisa Simpson.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "When was the Battle of New Orleans? January 8, 1815. Two weeks after the war ended.", "c": ["Chalmers", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "What's a battle? [Forced Laughter] Let's go.", "c": ["Ralph", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Did that boy say, 'What's a battle?' He said, 'What's that rattle?' About the heating duct.", "c": ["Chalmers", "Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Oh, so you would hear 'R's' as 'B's'? Yes. I understand.", "c": ["Chalmers", "Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Come on, Bart. Ride me. I better not. [Imitating Chicken] He's insulting both of us.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart", "Jimbo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Excellent. Not a trace of urine. Seymour, you run a tight ship.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Well, you know what they say, sir. 'Where there's no smoke, there's no fire.' What an odd remark.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Why, that looks like a 50-cent piece. I'll just bend over and get it. [Yelling] Seems to be caught... between these two flowers. [More Yelling]", "c": ["Chalmers", "Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Seymour, I was thinking of promoting you to assistant superintendent. But, instead, that plum goes to Holloway. No. But, sir, he's a drunk. And a pill-popper.", "c": ["Chalmers", "Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "And why is a cafeteria worker posing as a nurse? I get two paychecks this way. D'oh.", "c": ["Chalmers", "Lunch Lady Doris"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "There's no detention this time, Simpson. This is the end. You are expelled from Springfield Elementary.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "[Laughing] [Maniacal Laughter] Aw.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "And we'll visit a nudist camp... for animals.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "But, first, a look at the local holiday that was called... distasteful and puerile by a panel of hillbillies, 'Whacking Day.'", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "I-Is Whacking Day over? [Jeering] Thank you. Thanks for coming out.", "c": ["Nixon", "Crowd"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "I learned how many drams in a pennyweight. I got expelled. That's my boy. [Gulping] Mmm, beer. What?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "No son of mine is gonna be a 19th-century cockney bootblack.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Now, Bart, Since you're new here... perhaps you'd favor us with a psalm. How about 'Beans, beans, the musical fruit'?", "c": ["Religious School Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Well, uh, beans were a staple of the Israelites. Yes, proceed.", "c": ["Religious School Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Avert your eyes, children. He may take on other forms.", "c": ["Religious School Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "We'd like you to try this new diet cola. We call it 'Nature's Goodness.' What's in it? 2-4 desoxypropenuramine.", "c": ["Scientist", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Sweet. Pleasing taste. Some 'monsterism.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "The boy's 10 years old. Let's focus our energy on Lisa and the other one. What's your problem?", "c": ["Homer", "Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Inside every man is a struggle between good and evil that cannot be resolved. [Singsongy] I am evil Homer. I am evil Homer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "[Chuckling] I bought a bell.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "[Ringing Shrilly] [Both Scream] I think I'll unplug that.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "I got separated from my platoon after we parachuted into D\u00fcsseldorf. So I rode out the war posing as a German cabaret singer.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Ach du Liebe! Das ist not eine booby.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Is that story true, Grampa? Well, most of it. I did wear a dress for a period in the '40s.", "c": ["Bart", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Look what I got, Marge. A new whacking stick. Whack! Ooh. Excuse me. Whack, whack, whack! Whoa, whoa, whoa!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "It's about a boy who goes to war. His hand is deformed in an accident. Deformed? Why didn't you say so? They should call this book 'Johnny Deformed.'", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball... and release it at an appropriate time. Like that day I hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. Remember that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Yes. I played Panicky Idiot Number Two in The Poseidon Adventure. Sorry, we're looking for more of a 'duh, duh' idiot.", "c": ["Barney", "Casting Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm supposed to be a governor. [Burps]", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "The enemy surrounded the fort and said that if the captain was sent out... the rest would be spared. What did they do? They sent him out. Was he killed? And how. That's why they call it Fort Sensible.", "c": ["Historical Guide", "Tourist", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Hey, wait a minute. That was the same day he was at Ticonderoga. How could he be in two places at once?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "He'll blow the whole deal. Get him out of here. Roger.", "c": ["Historical Guide", "Security"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "I've hidden a snake somewhere in the store. The first one to whack it, gets a free Squishy. [People Yelling] I should've put more thought into my promotion.", "c": ["Apu", "Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "And the Lord said, 'Whackye all the serpents which crawl on their bellies... and thy town shall be a beacon unto others.' Let me see that.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "What's Whacking Day? Did you bring the pre-whacked snakes? Beautiful.", "c": ["Guest", "Vendor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Well, Marge, should I whack slow or fast? Slow, then fast. [Both Laugh]", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Lisa, maybe if I'm part of that mob, I can help steer it in wise directions. Now, where's my giant foam cowboy hat and air horn?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "here's our grand marshal, the Prophet of Love, Larry White. Barry White. No. It says here Larry White. I know my own name. Yeah? Well, we'll see.", "c": ["Announcer", "Barry White"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "It's truly an honor to be here at this-- Hey, what is this all about anyway? Oh, God, no. You people make me sick.", "c": ["Barry White"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "[Cheering] Were they even listening to me? I, uh, don't think so.", "c": ["Barry White", "Crowd", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "those snakes will be in here like Oprah on a baked ham.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "People of Springfield, Whacking Day is a sham. It was started in 1924, as an excuse to beat up the Irish.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "'Tis true. I took many a lump. But 'twas all in good fun.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "I'm an old man. I hate everything but Matlock. Ooh, it's on now.", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "I love the sexy slither of a lady snake. Oh, baby.", "c": ["Barry White"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Look at this everyone. Twelve dead snakes. [All Booing] I'm sick of you people. You're nothing but a pack of fickle mush-heads.", "c": ["Quimby", "Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "He's right. Give us hell, Quimby. [Crowd Cheering]", "c": ["Crowd Member", "Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Um, anyway, as a reward for your studying... I've decided to welcome you back to our school. You'll be reunited with your chums, Nelson, Jimbo, D-- Oh, dear God!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "I guess I've always used violence as a way of getting attention. Yes. Yes. Me too.", "c": ["Nelson", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Faster, Willie, faster. Now, we give 'em the bikes, no one sues. What if they're dead, sir? Then we ride these bikes to Mexico and freedom, Willie! Freedom!", "c": ["Skinner", "Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Freedom. [Chuckles] I'll turn you in at the first tollbooth.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 20, "et": "Whacking Day"}, {"t": "Ah, my cr\u00eapes are done.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "The Doggie Doorman - 'Good evening, Rex' - formal greeting to dog", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "I'm Troy McClure... star of such films as 'P' Is For Psycho... and The President's Neck Is Missing.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "You mean there's a better way?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "But won't we have to pay those outrageous grocery-store prices... for something the farmer probably spit in?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Doctor, are you sure it's on? I can't hear a thing. It's whisper quiet!", "c": ["Troy McClure", "Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Sun 'n' Run... the suntan lotion that's also a laxative.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Won't get chest pains from answering the phone anymore.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Please don't tell the supervisor I have the flu. I've been working with a shattered pelvis for three weeks.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Homer's reaction to son's gift: 'Mother, get an extra-special hug ready'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Good Lord. Flu germs entering every orifice in my head. Uhh.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Route 401 is going around and around... and around and around and around.", "c": ["Arnie Pie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "And look out at the corner of 12th and Main because I'm gonna be sick. Whoop.", "c": ["Arnie Pie"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Sarge, we keep getting orders to let the virus win. Must be a school day. Lay down your arms.", "c": ["White Blood Cell"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "All right! Let's make some pus.", "c": ["White Blood Cell"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Hey, you, get that steel drum out of the, uh, mayor's office. Sorry, 'mon.'", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Steel Drum Player"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Who the devil are you? Don't panic. Just come up with a good story. My name is Mr. Burns. D'oh!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Where do we get these placebos? Maybe there's some in this truck!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "I'm cured. I mean, ouch!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Dad, Todd's speaking in tongues! I wish he were, Rod. I pray for the day... but I'm afraid he's just delirious from fever.", "c": ["Rod Flanders", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Oh, Neddy, why has God forsaken us? I can't imagine what we could have done to-- Oh.", "c": ["Maude Flanders"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Maybe they'd feel more at home in the bedroom, Al.", "c": ["Peg Bundy", "Al Bundy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Watch Fox and be damned for all eternity.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Can you get me some of those Flintstones chewable morphine?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "You can stir it into my mush. Either way, just gimme, gimme, gimme!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "I lowered the price because an escaped mental patient tampered with the bottle.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Eight foot, six.", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Apu calling out shoplifting: 'You did not pay for this bottle of Colonel Kwik-E-Mart's Kentucky Bourbon'", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "All right, come out with your hands up... two cups of coffee... an auto freshener that says Capricorn... and something with coconut on it.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "By hiring me as your lawyer, you also get this smoking monkey. Better cut down there, Smokey.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly'... and the word 'dog' with 'son.'", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "No offense, but we're putting that bitch on ice.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Apu's corporate backing: 'Kwik-E-Mart and its parent corporation, Nordyne Defense Dynamics'", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "In other news, the chick in The Crying Game... is really a man.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Well, I'll let you in on a little secret about Marge Simpson. She's got webbed toes.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Are you Ed Flanders? No, Ned Flanders. My mistake.", "c": ["Process Server", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "I'll never have that problem again.", "c": ["Process Server"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Your Honor, I feel so confident of Marge Simpson's guilt... that I can waste the court's time by rating the super hunks.", "c": ["Prosecutor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Mrs. Lovejoy's testimony: 'And, quite frankly, I think she, um--' followed by drinky-drinky motion", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Let the record show that the witness made the drinky-drinky motion.", "c": ["Court Reporter"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "And if we freeze on frame 138... we distinctly see a puff of blue hair... coming from the grassy knoll.", "c": ["Prosecutor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial. Excuse me.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Hello, David. I'm really tempted. Just take it one day at a time, and know that I love you. I love you too, man.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz", "David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "No. In fact, I can recite pi to 40,000 places. The last digit is one.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Something that may shock and discredit you. And that thing is as follows. I'm not wearing a tie at all.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Hutz's America comment: 'If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers'", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Can you imagine a world without lawyers?", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Mr. Hutz, do you know you're not wearing any pants?", "c": ["Judge Snyder"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "I move for a bad court thingy. You mean a mistrial? Yeah. That's why you're the judge, and I'm the law-talkin' guy. The lawyer. Right.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz", "Judge Snyder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin! And it still says 'guilty.' And 'guilty' is spelled wrong!", "c": ["Bailiff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Mom. I'll bust you out of there... just as soon as I get a cocktail dress and a crowbar.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. Your skill with stains of all kinds. But mostly, I'll miss how lucky you make me feel each and every morning.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "I'm Phillips. They call me that 'cause I killed my husband with a Phillips head screwdriver.", "c": ["Phillips"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Homer, I don't think this fish is quite dead yet. Marge, please, I'm having enough trouble with the lobsters.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Amazing!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Who's gonna change Maggie? We're gonna let her roam free in the backyard... and nature will take its course.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "It seems like I've been wearing this same red dress forever.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "A pack of sugar and peanut butter smeared on a playing card.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "We flushed the gator down the toilet, but it got stuck halfway. Now we have to feed it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Oh, come on! He's history's greatest monster!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "Yeah, I've been starvin' 'em, teasin' 'em, singing off-key.", "c": ["Guard"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "He says his name is Homer, and he works at the nuclear plant.", "c": ["Phillips"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "We'll just sweep it all under the rug.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "From now on, I'll use my gossip for good instead of evil.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 21, "et": "Marge In Chains"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "where the sewage meets the sand [Coughs, Spits]", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Help, My Son is a Nerd! My son returns from a fancy East Coast college and I'm horrified to find he's a nerd. [Laughing] I'm laughing already. It's not a comedy.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle", "Game Show Host"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "It's safe and it's sexy. Oh, baby.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "I ain't goin' nowhere. I been in this square pert' near 30 seasons, and I ain't a-leavin' now. [Yelling] He's dead now. [Both Laughing]", "c": ["Charlie", "Others"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "What's Gabbo? I figure it's some guy's name. Some guy named Gabbo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "I'll figure it out. I'm gonna use all the power of my brain. [Buzzing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Look, Smithers! Garbo is coming! Uh, yes, sir.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Everyone is saying 'Gabbo this' and 'Gabbo that,' but no one is saying 'worship this' and 'Jericho that.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm Gabbo. And I'm Arthur Crandall. That's easy for you to say. You don't have a hand up your tuchas.", "c": ["Gabbo", "Arthur Crandall"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "All he needs is a hook. I'm a bad widdle boy. \u00a1Aycarumba!", "c": ["Marge", "Gabbo", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "[Imitating Vin Scully] Let's take time out from this triple play to talk about Farmer Dan's pure pork sausage. Mm-mmm!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Don't forget the Special Olympics. Oh, yeah. I slaughtered the Special Olympics.", "c": ["Krusty's Assistant", "Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "I lost to Channel Ocho? What the hell is that? Dos huevos, por favor. \u00a1Ay! Oh, que l\u00e1stima. [Chuckles] I gotta steal that bit.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Now let's throw some crud on it. Hey, it's 4:00.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "So, you want ventriloquism, do ya? All right, watch this. Hello, Alphonse. I've got a riddle for you. Why is a raven like a writing desk? I don't know. Why is a-- [All Screaming] Hey, the dummy can't hurt you. He's not even alive. He's dead! [Screaming]", "c": ["Krusty", "Kids"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "All right, here's the deal. Every time you watch my show I will send you $40! [Announcer] Checks will not be honored.", "c": ["Krusty", "Announcer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "I admit I used the city treasury to fund the murder of my enemies. But as Gabbo would say, 'I'm a bad widdle boy.' [Applause]", "c": ["Politician", "Audience"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Well, kids, this is where you would watch Itchy and Scratchy except they're on the Gabbo Show now. So, here's Eastern Europe's favorite cat and mouse team Worker and Parasite!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "What the hell is that?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Well, that's it. We've been canceled. I think we can be proud that we never did a bad show except for that week Ray Jay Johnson was my co-host. 'You can call me Ray, and you can call me Jay.' Ooh! That thing was funny for about three seconds.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "The important thing is, we're like a family. Krusty, I-- Shut your hole!", "c": ["Krusty", "Assistant"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Do they still buy human hair down at the wig shop?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "tonight my guests will be Dr. Carl Sagan and from the San Diego Zoo, Joan Embry.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "'Oh, Kyle, I just don't think I fit in here at Melrose Place.' From now on, I'll be doing the thinking for both of us.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Come on, you stupid horse! I got my last ten bucks on you! No, don't look at me! Run! No! Don't come over here!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "I can't believe it. He stole this bit from Krusty! Yeah, well, Krusty stole it from Steve Allen. Oh, everything's stolen nowadays. Why, the fax machine is nothing but a waffle iron with a phone attached.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Whoa! Me rikey velly much! Oh, I hope I didn't offend you. I need this bad.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Bad enough to hit yourself over the head with the phone? Oh! You got it! Ow! Ow! Ooh, blood.", "c": ["Gabbo/Arthur", "Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "If this is anyone but Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Two wrongs don't make a right, Bart. Yes, they do. No, they don't. Yes, they do. No, they don't. Dad! Yes, they do. Two wrongs make a right, Lisa.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "That oughta hold the little S.O.B.s. Gabbo, quiet. Oh, I wouldn't wanna offend the little S.O.B.s. I wish you'd stop saying that.", "c": ["Gabbo", "Arthur Crandall"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "All the kids in Springfield are S.O.B.s. Gabbo's kind of language has no place on or off TV. And that's my two cents.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Gabbo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "I didn't know you knew Luke Perry! [Scoffs] Know him? He's my worthless half-brother. He's a big TV star. Yeah, on Fox.", "c": ["Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "You pigs! [Panting] Oh, no! Bette Midler! [Grunting] [Yelling] Now, where were we? We were asking you to appear on Krusty's Komeback Special. Okay. Tell Krusty he can count me in.", "c": ["Bette Midler", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Smart Bunnies, Hef. I can call you Hef, can't I? No.", "c": ["Bart", "Hugh Hefner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Hey, Moe, look over there. What? What am I lookin' at? I don't see nothin'. I'm gonna stop looking soon. What? What, is that it? Hey, Moe, can I look too? Sure, but it'll cost ya. My wallet's in the car. He is so stupid.", "c": ["Bart", "Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Miss Taylor, a couple of grade-school kids wanted you to be on a Krusty special. I told them to buzz off. Good.", "c": ["Bodyguard", "Elizabeth Taylor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Krusty, what have you done to yourself? I thought I'd get into shape, so I've been drinking nothing but milk shakes. You mean those diet milk shakes? Uh-oh.", "c": ["Marge", "Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "You can sleep on the sofa. It folds right out. [Grunting, Yelling] Oh, wait. That was the old sofa. [Screeching]", "c": ["Homer", "Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "But you've gotta comeback, Mel! We're a team. No, Krusty. You always treated me rather shabbily. On our last show, you poured liquid nitrogen down my pants and cracked my buttocks with a hammer.", "c": ["Krusty", "Sideshow Mel"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Here's your taco, mister. Oops. It fell in the fryer. I'll get it out. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Sorry, Krusty. I like it here. Mr. Johannson treats me with dignity.", "c": ["Sideshow Mel", "Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Look, kids! A horsie! And what are you making, Sideshow Luke Perry? A 19th-century carousel. [Yells] Upstage me, will ya? Get the hell out!", "c": ["Krusty", "Luke Perry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Look, there must be something I can do on the show. Please. For Mom's sake? Well, maybe we can find something.", "c": ["Luke Perry", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Would you mind changing 'em for the show? Forget you, clown. Hey, our lyrics are like our children, man. No way. Well, okay. But here, where you say 'What I got, you gotta get and put it in you,' how about just, 'What I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss you'? Wow! That's much better. Everyone can enjoy that.", "c": ["Krusty", "Red Hot Chili Peppers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "I love you, Krusty. Quiet!", "c": ["Fan", "Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Are you comfortable in there, Luke Perry? Fire away, Krusty. [Yelling] Aah! My face! My valuable face!", "c": ["Krusty", "Luke Perry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Actually, I thought I'd lift this 1987 Buick Skylark over my head. Hi-yo! Johnny, that's amazing. Oh, yeah? Get a load of this. [Singing Opera]", "c": ["Johnny Carson", "Krusty", "Bette Midler"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "I've got to fire that agent.", "c": ["Johnny Carson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "This was a great show, Krusty. You deserve an Emmy for this. Forget it. The Academy hates me. I don't know why.", "c": ["Lisa", "Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Here's that ruby-studded clown nose you ordered, Krusty. [Sobbing] Oy!", "c": ["Delivery Person", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "Hey, you can't come in here dressed like that! Get with the times, Moe. Yeah. I say if it feels good, do it. All right. [Chuckling] Don't snap my undies.", "c": ["Moe", "Customers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "That's all right, Krusty. We're getting 50% of the T-shirt sales. What? That's the sweetest plum! You little-- Aw, what the hell. You deserve it. Thanks, kids.", "c": ["Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "To Krusty, the greatest entertainer in the world-- Except maybe that guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 4, "e": 22, "et": "Krusty Gets Kancelled"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams] followed by glass shattering and panting", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Human roaches, feeding off each other's garbage. The only thing you can't buy here is dignity.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Ich bin ein Springfield Swap Meet patron.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Hand painted to resemble Lucille Ball! You'll love Oyster Lucy! [Deep Voice] Oh, Mr. Mooney, I just gotta meet Bob Cummings! Viv!", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Joseph of Aramathea! Twenty-six conversions in A.D. 46!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Whoa! A Methuselah rookie card! Who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Religion? Learning? Let's get outta here!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Yeah, they took her off the market after some kid put both his eyes out.", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Prisoner 24601. I wore this for two years in a Vietcong internment center. Never thought I'd see the old girl again. [Voice Resonating] Still fits.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Small world, huh? It is. It really, really is.", "c": ["Lou", "Eddie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "The airplane's upside-down. Stradi-'who'-vius?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Your teenage son or daughter will think this wishbone necklace is really cool. I doubt my son or daughter is that stupid.", "c": ["Vendor", "Customer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Melvin and the Squirrels. Part of the rodent invasion of the early '60s.", "c": ["Record Store Owner"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Dad, thanks to television, I can't remember what happened eight minutes ago. No, really. I can't. It's a serious problem.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "What are we all laughing about? Who cares?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "A maturing Joe Piscopo left Saturday Night Live to conquer Hollywood.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Barbershop? That ain't been popular since aught-six, dag-nab it!", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "What did I tell you? No talking like a grizzled 1890s prospector. Consarn it.", "c": ["Wife"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Anyway, rock and roll had become stagnant. 'Achy Breaky Heart' was seven years away. Something had to fill the void.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "That's my son up there! What, the balding fat-ass? Uh, no, the Hindu guy.", "c": ["Apu's Father", "Bystander"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "I'm gonna nail that cop right between the eyes. Right after this song is over.", "c": ["Criminal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Ned, there's an oil stain in the parking lot that looks just like St. Barnabus.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "All except that police officer. Yuck! Too Village People. You'll have to replace him.", "c": ["Agent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Where we goin'? Where we goin'? Run along, boy. You're free now. No! No! Noooo!", "c": ["Wiggum", "Agent"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Eh, never fit on a marquis, luv. From now on your name is Apu de Beaumarche.", "c": ["Agent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "It is a great dishonor to my ancestors and my god, but okay.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Get off the stage! I want to, but I can't!", "c": ["Auditioner", "Crowd"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Good Lord! Doctor Doolittle is Chief Wiggum.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Barney! How'd you like to sing for our group? Sure! Why not? Now whar's me toothpick?", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "How about Handsome Homer Simpson, Plus Three? I like it!", "c": ["Homer", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "No. We need a name that's witty at first... but seems less funny each time you hear it. How about the Be Sharps?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "I bought this cool pencil holder. Far out, man. I haven't seen a bong in years.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "One of us made some money. I sold a guy our spare tire. [Tire Blows] D'oh!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Mmm. Baby on board. 'Baby on board' 'Something, something Burt Ward' This thing writes itself!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. Bouffant Betty. Well, I would prefer we kept your marriage a secret. A lot of women are going to want to have sex with you... and, uh, we want them to think they can.", "c": ["Agent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Well, if I explain it to Marge that way, I'm sure she'll understand. [Marge sobbing]", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "That little boy who nobody liked grew up to be... Roy Cohn. Wow! And now you know the rest of the story.", "c": ["Paul Harvey"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Aw, squiddy, I got nothing against ya. I just heard there was gold in your belly. Ha, ha, harr! Ha, ha, harr!", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Have you seen Bart? I stuck him somewhere. [Clanking] Look what I got for you, Dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Isn't it true that you're really an Indian? By the many arms of Vishnu, I swear it is a lie. Barney, how did you join the group? They found me on the men's room floor.", "c": ["Reporter", "Apu", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "You've been referred to as 'the funny one.' Is that reputation justified? Yes. Yes, it is.", "c": ["Reporter", "Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "She's 100 years old, and she weighs over 200 tons. This enormous woman will devour us all! Aaah! I-- I meant the statue.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Okay. Gilligan, the Skipper, and Chief Wiggum. Name three castaways. Hi-oh!", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Where did you get that brownie? There's a big pile of'em. [Squealing]", "c": ["Homer", "George Harrison"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "You're a musician? What a nice fellow.", "c": ["Homer", "George Harrison"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "You beat Dexy's Midnight Runners. You haven't heard the last of them.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "They took the foam off the market because they found out it was poisonous. But if you ask me, if you're dumb enough to eat it, you deserve to die.", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "What'd you do? Screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus? All the time. It was the title of our second album.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "What about Bob Hope? He's been consistently popular for over 50 years. So has Sinatra. Well, anyway, we were all getting tired of-- Dean Martin still packs 'em in. Ditto Tom Jones. Shut up!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "This is worse than your song about Mr. T. I pity the fool who doesn't like... he.", "c": ["Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Barbershop is in danger of growing stale. I'm taking it to strange new places. Number eight. [Belch]", "c": ["Barney", "Japanese Artist"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "How much is this quart of milk? Twelve dollars. Hey, Barney, what'll it be? I'd like a beer, Moe. I'd like a single plum floating in perfume, served in a man's hat.", "c": ["Customer", "Apu", "Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "I'd like a beer, Moe. I'd like a single plum floating in perfume, served in a man's hat.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Hey, fellas. I'm back. Oh, that's great. Your replacement is getting tired. [Clucks] Hey, Queenie, you can go now. I'll give her a good home. And I did.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Last year, on that stupid Dame Edna special.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Hello! Human Fly here. Come on! I stayed up all night dyeing my underwear.", "c": ["Human Fly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. There's nothing in here about the Be Sharps! Come back here! Ha-ha!", "c": ["Homer", "Newsboy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "It's been done. [Tires Screech]", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "I'd like to thank you on behalf of the group... and I hope we passed the audition. I don't get it.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 1, "et": "Homers Barbershop Quartet"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, it's Up Late With McBain. I'm your announcer, Obergruppenfuehrer Wolfcastle.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "That is some outfit, Scoey. It makes you look like a homosexual.", "c": ["McBain"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "This is horrible. The Fox network has sunk to a new low.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Replaced by the benevolent General Krull. All hail Krull and his glorious new regime! Sincerely, Little Girl.", "c": ["Anya/Dictator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "'I'm going to kill you.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Oh, uh, I wrote that one... after Bart somehow put this tattoo on my butt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "But who'd want to hurt me? I'm this century's Dennis the Menace.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "It's probably the person you least suspect.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "I say we call Matlock. He'll find the culprit. It's probably that evil Gavin MacLeod or George 'Goober' Lindsey.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Grampa, Matlock's not real. Neither are my teeth, but I can still eat corn on the cob... if someone cuts it off and smushes it into a fine paste.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "The girls are calling you 'fatty-fat fat fat' and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants. But nobody's trying to kill ya.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "All right. This is dedicated to Bart Simpson with a message: 'I am coming to kill you slowly and painfully.'", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Bart, I'm going to get you-- some ice cream at the store... since I'm saving so much money on diet cola.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Say your prayers, Simpson. Because the schools can't force you like they should.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Maude, these new finger razors make hedge trimming as much fun as sitting through church.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "You're going to be my murder victim, Bart... in our school production of Lizzie Borden.", "c": ["Martin Prince"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters. I'm pretty sure there is. Ha! The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle--", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "[Squirrels Chittering] Boys, knock it off. [All Grumbling]", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Police Officers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Who's someone you've been making irritating phone calls to for years? Linda Lavin? No, someone who didn't deserve it.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Use a pen, Sideshow Bob.", "c": ["Prison Guard"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Take care, Snake. May the next time we meet... be under more felicitous circumstances. Ga?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me 'Chief Piggum.' Oh, now I get it. That's good.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now? Be honest.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Ah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.", "c": ["Court member"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "We object to the term 'urine-soaked hellhole' when you could have said 'peepee-soaked heckhole.'", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "No one who speaks German can be an evil man.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Oh, really now, that's too much. It's Sideshow Bob!", "c": ["Movie audience"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Oh, I'll stay away from your son, all right. Stay away... forever. Oh, no! Wait a minute. That's no good.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Wait. I've got a good one now. Marge, say 'Stay away from my son' again. No!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "And turn and flex. And shake and bounce and turn. And flex and shake and bounce.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "And once a man is in your home, anything you do to him... is nice and legal. Is that so? Oh, Flanders, won't you join me in my kitchen?", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Uh, doesn't work if you invite him. Hidilly-hey!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Come on! Leave town! No. I'll be your friend. No. Oh, you're mean.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "The following neighborhood residents... will not be killed by me: Ned Flanders... Maude Flanders. Oh, isn't that nice?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Maude"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! Did you hear, Bart? Eh-- Oh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Whoo! I wanna be John Elway.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Thanks to Elway's patented last-second magic... the final score of Super Bowl XXX-- Denver, 7 San Francisco, 56.", "c": ["Sports Announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "I'll be Gus, the loveable chimney sweep. Clean as a whistle. Sharp as a thistle. Best in all Westminster. Yeah!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Cape Fear, Terror Lake, New Horrorfield, Screamville. Ooh, Ice Creamville. No, Screamville.", "c": ["FBI Agent", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "When I say, 'Hello, Mr. Thompson,' you'll say, 'Hi.' Check. Hello, Mr. Thompson.", "c": ["FBI Agent", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Remember now-- your name is Homer Thompson. I gotcha. Hello, Mr. Thompson.", "c": ["FBI Agent", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Hello, Mr. Thompson. I think he's talking to you.", "c": ["FBI Agent", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Hey, look! The F.B.I. Light Opera Society Sings the Complete Gilbert and Sullivan.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Eh, lousy speed bumps.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Hey, kids, wanna drive through that cactus patch? Yeah! Yeah! No! Whoop, two against one.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "You know, the great thing is, if you don't like your neighbors... you can just pull up the anchor and sail someplace else.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Hello! Hello! You have my pills! Hello? I'm cold, and there are wolves after me.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Surely there's no harm... in laying in the middle of a public street.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Roman numeral three: Surprise boy in bed-- and, uh, disembowel him. No, I don't like that 'bowel' in there. Gut him.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Bart, you want some brownie before you go to bed? Come on. Let me cut you a brownie while they're still hot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Dad, I'm kind of edgy right now. I'd appreciate you not coming in my room screaming and brandishing a butcher knife.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Bart, do you want to see my new chainsaw and hockey mask?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Oh, no, Dad's been drugged. No, he hasn't.", "c": ["Bart", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Well, you have such a beautiful voice. Guilty as charged. Anyway, I was wondering if you could sing the entire score of the H.M.S. Pinafore.", "c": ["Bart", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Very well, Bart. I shall send you to heaven before I send you to hell.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Ah, yeah. It's a good thing you drifted by this brothel.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "I knew I had to buy some time... so I asked him to sing the score from the H.M.S. Pinafore. Ooh, a plan fiendishly clever in its intricacies.", "c": ["Bart", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Take him away, boys. Hey, I'm the chief here. Bake him away, toys.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Look what happened without my pills!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Not so fast. I wanna court this fair, young maiden. There's somethin' you should know about me. I've got Steve and Eydie tickets. I'm all yours!", "c": ["Jasper", "Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 2, "et": "Cape Feare"}, {"t": "Core meltdown in 10 seconds... Meltdown averted. Good boy!", "c": ["PA System", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "We make cookies here. Mr. Burns's Old-Fashioned Good-Time Extra-Chewy--", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "The watchdog of public safety. Is there any lower form of life?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Duh, Homer, why are we down here? Oh, geez! I told ya, Bernie-- to guard the bee!", "c": ["Bernie", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "No wonder Smithers made me head bee guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.77, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "No, I'm afraid he couldn't 'bee' here.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, he's in Geneva... chairing a conference on nuclear fission.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "D'oh! The bee bit my bottom! Now my bottom's big!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "What the hell are you talking about?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Just poke blindly at the controls until they let you go.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Oh! This can't be happening! [simulation causes real meltdown]", "c": ["Nuclear Regulator"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "For the love of God, sir! There are two seats! I like to put my feet up.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Must destroy mankind. Ooh! Lunchtime.", "c": ["Nuclear Monster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "There wasn't any nuclear material in the truck!", "c": ["Nuclear Regulator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "The box. The box!", "c": ["Nuclear Regulator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Burns offering washer/dryer or mystery box, Homer chooses 'The box. The box!'", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, I've decided there will be no investigation. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go away.", "c": ["Nuclear Regulator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Well, I have the feeling you'll be... dropping the charges. The painters moved your desk, sir.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Would you like to come in for tea and marshmallow squares? Yes, he would.", "c": ["Marge", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "College? Ha! Barber or clown?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "You must find the jade monkey... before the next full moon. Actually, sir, we found the jade monkey.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "That dog has somebody's ham! This I gotta see!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Is TV Guide a book? Son of Sniglet? Katherine Hepburn's Me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "He looks crazy. Agreed. Reading his essay would only waste valuable seconds.", "c": ["College Admissions Officers"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Dean Bitterman, I hope nothing unsavory happens during my visit. As you know, I am the president of the United States.", "c": ["Corey Masterson", "Dean Bitterman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Your bra bomb better work, Nerdlinger.", "c": ["Corey Masterson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Secretary of partying down!", "c": ["President"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Whoo-hoo! A flyer for a hardware store!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "[Burns intimidating admissions board while growling menacingly]", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "I'm giving you the beating of your life! Look, if-- Stop that. If you wanted him that badly, why didn't you just say so?", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Admissions Officer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "I won't need my high school diploma anymore!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Hey! How long have you been back there? Three days.", "c": ["Homer", "Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "There are two kinds of college students: jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Hey, pal! Did you get a load of the nerd? Pardon me?", "c": ["Homer", "Actual Jock"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Attention, everyone. The punch has been spiked! Don't worry. Your parents have been called and will be here to pick you up shortly!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Hi there. I'm Dean Peterson, but you can call me Bobby. I'm always up for some Hacky Sack. I used to be the bass player for the Pretenders.", "c": ["Dean Peterson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Out with the old, in with the nucleus.", "c": ["Nuclear Physics Professor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Then kiss my curvy butt good-bye.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Sir, six cinder blocks are missing. There'll be no hospital then. I'll tell the children.", "c": ["Construction Worker", "Foreman"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "I worked in a nuclear power plant for 10 years and I think I know how a proton accelerator works.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "[Homer falls into the accelerator and screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Hello, Dean. You're a stupid-head!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Stop the humanoid.", "c": ["Nerds"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "We are the knights who say 'Ni!' Ni! Ni! Ni!", "c": ["Nerds"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "We played Dungeons and Dragons for three hours. Then I was slain by an elf.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Some nerds of note include popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher, rock star David Byrne and Supreme Court Justice David Souter.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Oh, not Souter!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Including all known lanthanides and actinides? Good luck.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I'll put on my snow pants. Me too. Me too.", "c": ["Nerds"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, Gary spilled his ear medicine.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Oh, those baby ducks were so cute. I can't believe they let us walk right up and feed them.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "We roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Meet Sir Oinkcelot, the beloved mascot of Springfield A&M.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "And then we roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Homer suggesting same carpet/bridge plan for pig kidnapping", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Look, you pull its tail straight... and it curls right back up again. Curly, straight. Curly, straight.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Curly, straight. Curly, straight. Of course he does. He's a cute little piggy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "The pig's acting kinda funny. He and Mr. Simpson split a case of malt liquor.", "c": ["Nerd", "Nerd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Ah, wallet inspector. Oh, here you go. I believe that's all in order.", "c": ["Con Artist", "Nerd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "I can't believe that worked! Hey! That's not the wallet inspector!", "c": ["Con Artist", "Nerd"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, we all have nosebleeds.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Those crazy noises are computer signals. Some guys at M.I.T. are sending us reasons why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Ha! They're out of their minds.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "My purpose in life is to witness this moment.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "We need the outlet for our rock tumbler. Plug it in! The TV! The TV!", "c": ["Nerd", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Wow! They'll never let us show that again, not in a million years!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Now, the only antidote to a zany scheme... is an even zanier scheme! Why does it have to be zany?", "c": ["Homer", "Nerd"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Should we correct for wind resistance? Hmm, possibly. What do you think? [car hits dean]", "c": ["Nerds"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Oh, Dean. This is what your new hip is going to look like.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Number of messages received: zero.", "c": ["Answering Machine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Exam? Oh! This is just like one of those bad dreams!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "During the exam, I'll hide under some coats... and hope that somehow everything will work out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm gonna lose my job just 'cause I'm dangerously unqualified!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Moral whuzzah?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Oh, let's just say I had help from a little magic box.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "No, you didn't. You only passed your course by cheating, which you always taught us was wrong.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge! You're worse than that crusty old dean.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 3, "et": "Homer Goes To College"}, {"t": "Happy! Come here, Happy!", "c": ["Burns's Mother"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "would you rather live with this twisted, loveless billionaire?", "c": ["Burns's Mother"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Let's roll.", "c": ["Young Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Oh, well. At least we still have his little brother, George.", "c": ["Burns's Mother"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Trust me. It'll be funny when I'm an old man.", "c": ["Young Burns"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Bobo? I, uh, meant Lobo. Uh, Sheriff Lobo. They never should have canceled that show.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "I won't get what I really want. - No one does.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Lobo! Lobo! Bring back Sheriff Lobo!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Where is that dreaded pinata? Ow! Ow! Ow! Missed me. Heh-heh! Ow!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Not funny. And the one in my pants really hurts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "I must harness his fractured take on modern life.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "I'll get him started on some snappy Sinbad-esque material.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Is 'poo poo' one word or two?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Actually, Mom, a tweaking of Mr. Burns's foibles, if done with the greatest of care... could earn Dad a special place in the old man's heart.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "I paint a frowny face on my butt and pull down my pants!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Does either of you know what 'incontinent' means?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Hey, Flanders! You smell like manure! Uh-oh. Better cancel that dinner party tonight. Thanks for the nose news, neighbor!", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Hey! No one-termers. Get away from me, loser.", "c": ["Unknown Politicians", "Jimmy Carter"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "I'd just like to say this gig sucks! Hey, up yours, Springfield!", "c": ["The Ramones"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Go to hell, you old bastard. Hey, I think they liked us.", "c": ["The Ramones"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Have the Rolling Stones killed. Oh, sir, those aren't-- Do as I say!", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was just run over in the parking lot. Now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Are you ready to laugh? Oh, that poor dog. I said, 'Are you ready to laugh?' Quiet, you awful man.", "c": ["Homer", "Audience"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "You know, Mr. Burns is so cheap-- What? I ju-- I mean, you know, Mr. Burns is so old-- How dare you!", "c": ["Homer", "Burns"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Here's an impression of Mr. Burns that you might find a little cheeky. I'm Mr. Burns. Blah, blah, blah. Do this, do that. Blah, blah, blah. I think I'm so big. Blah, blah, blah!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "I'll never wiggle my bare butt in public again. I'd like to believe that this time. I really would.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "She'll be ready for your Aunt Selma's birthday. I knew it.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain; and that rare first draft of the Constitution with the word 'suckers' in it.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Liar! I'll give you the thrashing of a lifetime!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "You gotta start selling this for more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition. If you can think of a better way to get ice, I'd like to hear it.", "c": ["Apu", "Expedition Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Hey, Apu, this bag of ice has a head in it. Ooh, a head bag! Those are chock-full of... heady goodness.", "c": ["Customer", "Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Hey, it's a teddy bear! Ew, gross. It's probably diseased or something. Here, Maggie.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Enough! Stop this grotesque charade. Now, find my teddy. Oh, and, uh, leave the costume.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Maggie, I'm trying to watch TV. Put that moldy, old bear down. Moldy? Old? I'm gonna get something to eat!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "It's supposed to be... doing a little dance. No. Bear want to live.", "c": ["Professor Frink", "Robot Bear"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "You stupid stair!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Well, Burns isn't getting this back cheap. I can tell you that. He's gonna have to give me... my own recording studio.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Homer,you're drooling on the mike again.", "c": ["Recording Engineer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "I think we should just give him the bear that he cherishes so much.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "No! Let's send Burns the eye in the mail. He'll pay more money if he thinks the bear's in danger.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Well, why can't I be greedy once in a while?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Naturally, I can't pay you much of a reward, because I'm strapped for cash. As you can see, this old place is falling apart.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Reject the first offer. Reject the first offer. May I offer you a drink? Sorry, Burns. No deal!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! I gotta call Burns! I gotta call Burns! Maybe I can still get that drink.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "A million dollars and three Hawaiian islands-- good ones, not the leper ones. Done! Now give me that bear!", "c": ["Homer", "Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Bad baby! Bad Maggie! Give me the bear. The bear. The bear!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "The deal's off, Mr. Burns. The bear stays here.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Son! You gotta help me! I hit three people on the way over here... and I don't have any insurance! So, how's by you?", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Sixty-four slices of American cheese. Sixty-four. Sixty-three. Two. One.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Have you been up all night eating cheese? I think I'm blind.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Excuse me. We wanted to see the geek... who valued the happiness of his children more than money. Right here. Aw, you said his head was the size of a baseball.", "c": ["Visitors", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "After lunch, can I whip you? Nope. Aw, no fair.", "c": ["Employee", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "See, Maggie? See the fun box? No! My box! My box!", "c": ["Lisa", "Maggie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Two plus two is four. Two plus two is four. I can see why this is so popular.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Give me my bear, Simpson! It's The Sou-ou-oul Mass Transit System.", "c": ["Burns", "TV"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "What's that you say? You can live without television... as long as you have beer? Wrong. All beer trucks heading toward Springfield have been diverted.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "This town will be as dry as a bone. And if the rest of you beer-swilling tube jockeys out there... have a problem with this, talk to Homer Simpson.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "My old man can't get a beer because his old man won't give a bear to another old man. Let's get him! Wait! Why are we gettin' him? Look, fellas. The first snapdragon of the season. Never mind! Let's just get him!", "c": ["Mob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Look, fellas. The first snapdragon of the season. Never mind! Let's just get him!", "c": ["Mob member"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Smithers, I'm home! What? Already? Yes. Is it my imagination, or is TV getting worse?", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "What have we become? We've given the word 'mob' a bad name.", "c": ["Mob Member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "So, good sand today, hmm? Well, just this once. Eww! Damn you paparazzo!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Beaten by an infant. What could be more humiliating? What a scoop!", "c": ["Burns", "Photographer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "From now on I'm only going to be good and kind to everyone! I'm sorry, sir. I don't have a pencil. Ah, don't worry. I'm sure I'll remember it.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Marge, I'm confused. Is this a happy ending or a sad ending? It's an ending. That's enough.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Bobo, I know I say this every century, but I'll never leave you behind again.", "c": ["Future Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 4, "et": "Rosebud"}, {"t": "Bart, you should warn people this episode is very frightening. Maybe they'd rather listen to that War of the Worlds broadcast on N.P.R., hmm?", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Sorry, Homer. While you were daydreaming, we ate all the doughnuts. Well, there were a few left, but we chucked 'em at an old man for kicks.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Damn buzzards! I ain't dead yet!", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Dear Homer, I.O.U. one emergency doughnut. Signed, Homer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Bastard! He's always one step ahead.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Flanders! You're the devil? It's always the one you least suspect.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Now, many people offer to sell their souls without reflecting upon the grave ramifica-- Do you have a doughnut or not?", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Hmm. Who's that goat-legged fellow? I like the cut of his jib.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Hey, wait, if I don't finish this last bite... you don't get my soul, do you? I'm smarter than the devil! I'm smarter than the dev--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Mmm! Forbidden doughnut.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Your wide behind won't save you this time.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Oh, you Americans with your 'due process' and 'fair trials.' This is always so much easier in Mexico.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "So, you like doughnuts, eh? Well... have all the doughnuts in the world!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "More. I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in 15 minutes.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "But I'm not dead yet. In fact, I just wrote an article for Redbook.", "c": ["Richard Nixon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "And the starting line of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Arr! This chair be high, says I.", "c": ["Blackbeard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Which I delivered! And it was scrum-didilly-umptious.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Webster's defines it as 'an agreement under the law which is unbreakable.' 'Which is unbreakable'!", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I must use the restroom. [Door Slams] Uh, Mr. Hutz?", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. You got married in an emergency room? Well, Homer ate the entire wedding cake by himself... before the wedding.", "c": ["Ned", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Dear Marge, You have given me your hand in marriage. All I can give you in return is my soul... which I pledge to you forever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "But let that ill-gotten doughnut be forever on your head.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Homer, stop picking at it. But I'm so sweet and tasty.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "The 'School Bus'? Oh! Oh! They must mean the 'Ghoul Bus.' Nope. It says right there, 'School Bus.' Well, there's nothing scarier than having to go to school.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh! They must mean the 'Ghoul Bus.' Nope. It says right there, 'School Bus.' Well, there's nothing scarier than having to go to school.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Krusty poses for trading card photo. Hmm. He seems to be running a little low on ideas. Well, at least you got the gum. Oww! I cut my cheek!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Oh-- I hope this is sweat.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus because Mother hid my car keys... to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Hey, where's your diaper, baby? Thank goodness he's drawn attention away from my shirt.", "c": ["Nelson", "Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies... or even the dreaded rear admiral.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "No! Oh, no. I just made my last payment.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Una momento, por favor. Now, I've gotten word that a child is using his imagination... and I've come to put a stop to it.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Ach. Me mule wouldn't walk in the mud. So I had to put 17 bullets in him.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Oh, guten Tag! Would you care for a bite of my Vengelerstrasse bar? I also have a bag of marzipan JoyJoys!", "c": ["Uter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "I'm doin' all the pullin', ya blouse-wearin' poodle walker!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Aw, isn't that cute? He's trying to claw my eyes out.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Right or wrong, your behavior was still disruptive, young man. Perhaps spending the remainder of your life in a madhouse... will teach you some manners.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Hidilly-ho, Bart!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "They're dogs, and they're playing poker!", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "We had a story to go with this painting, but it was far too intense. So we just threw something together with vampires. Enjoy!", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "We think we're dealing with a supernatural being... most likely a mummy. As a precaution, I've ordered the Egyptian wing of the Springfield Museum destroyed.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Lisa, vampires are make-believe. Just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "What? Oh. Precious blood.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Ah, fresh victims for my ever-growing army of the undead. Sir, you have to let go of the button. Oh, son of a bit--", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Yeah, his hairdo looks so queer. I heard that! It was the boy!", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Dad, this is blood. Correction-- free blood.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Lisa, Burns isn't a vampire. And even if he was, we're not gonna stumble on his secret hiding place.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Big deal. It's no different from the basement in Grampa's rest home.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Please, Bart. I've seen your stupid Shemp. Yeah, I've seen your Curly too.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "I know I really shouldn't, but when am I gonna be here again? Whee!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Hello, Mother. Hello, Father. I missed you during my uneventful absence.", "c": ["Vampire Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Oh, Lisa, you and your stories. 'Bart is a vampire.' 'Beer kills brain cells.' Now, let's go back to that... building thingy... where our beds and TV... is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Come join us, Lisa. It's so cool. You get to stay up all night drinking blood. And if you say you're a vampire... you get a free small soda at the movies.", "c": ["Vampire Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Homer, we gotta do something. Today, he's drinking people's blood. Tomorrow, he could be smoking.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "Uh, Dad, that's his crotch. Oh, sorry.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "You're fired! D'oh!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "I'm a vampire, and I've come to suck your blood. Blah! Oh-- This cape is giving me a rash.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "You have to kill the head vampire. You're the head vampire? No, I'm the head vampire! Mom? I do have a life outside this house, you know.", "c": ["Lisa", "Burns", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Iv"}, {"t": "where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked... and the children are pink-cheeked and robust", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "What the hell's so funny? [continues boring story]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Stupid TV. Be more funny! [Grunts]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "You might remember me from such telethons as 'Out with Gout '88' and 'Let's Save Tony Orlando's House'", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Some idiot actually called in", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Where are the Geraldos? Where are the Eubankses-ses?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Marjorie, please. I enjoy all the meats of our cultural stew.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Ahh, ballet. Hee-hee-hee. All right. Whoo-hoo! Yea!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "That's one right there. All right. But, remember, it's mine.", "c": ["Homer", "Ruth Powers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "That's what ballet is? [Groans]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "You can't back out like when you volunteered for that army experiment to avoid dinner at my sisters'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, you do realize this may result in hair loss, giddiness and the loss of equilibrium? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give me the serum.", "c": ["Army Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "It was worth it. [Body thuds on floor] [Homer giggling]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Gonna go see the bear in the little car, huh?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Mmm, invisible cola.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Time to stick it to the man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "That's just an old wives' tale.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "I'm stuck. Help me. He's done for! Let's get outta here!", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Must... get... to ballet. Promised Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Snack-related mishap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Sure, Homer. Trapped in vending machines. Okay.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "When my husband left, he took all our power tools... along with the car, my youth, my faith in mankind.", "c": ["Ruth Powers"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Vyachepov's loins oughta be outlawed.", "c": ["Ruth Powers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Far too much dancing, not nearly enough prancing. A little mincing would be nice.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "It's almost 9:30. [Laughs] Yeah, right. We better turn in. [Laughs, stops] Oh, you were serious.", "c": ["Ruth Powers", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "I'm going to have these things on my arms forever. [Wedding March plays]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "They'll grow back, right? Oh, yeah. Whew.", "c": ["Homer", "Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Homer, are you just holding on to the can? Your point being?", "c": ["Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "All he ever did was eat, sleep and drink beer. Your point being?", "c": ["Ruth Powers", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Hey, can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something.", "c": ["Ruth Powers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Mrs. Simpson: While we were rescuing your husband, a lumberyard burned down.", "c": ["Firemen's note"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "D'oh! Lumber has a million uses.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Marge, you can't go out on Saturday. That's our special night. What's so special about it? A little show called Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Where're you going? I don't know. When will you be home? I'm not sure. Where're you going? You already asked me that.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "How can you do this, Marge? How can you desert your children? Have a blast, Mom. Rock the Casbah.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows ev-- Oh. Sorry, Marge. Wrong tape.", "c": ["Ruth Powers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Don't worry. You'll feel better once we put your hair up in curlers and give you a makeover, Homina. [High-pitched voice] Oh, that would be delight-- [Normal voice] Quiet, boy.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Sure, Dad. [Imitates whip cracking]", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Well, howdilly dodilly-do. [Line clicks, dial tone] Hello? Hello? Hellodilly-odilly?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Haven't you seen Home Alone? If some burglars come, it'll be a very humorous and entertaining situation.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Of course, being a highly skilled attorney... my fee is $175 an hour. We pay eight dollars for the night... and you can take two Popsicles out of the freezer. Three. Two. Okay, two, and I get to keep this old birdcage. Done. Still got it.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "How come no one else's chair is doing this?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "I am lucky. I have a husband and three wonderful children. Thank you very much.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Sometimes you gotta go where everybody knows your name.", "c": ["Ruth Powers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "We're phasing out the games. People drink less when they're having fun.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. Like lawyers work in big skyscrapers and have secretaries. Look at him. He's wearing a belt. That's Hollywood for you.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Oh, wow. I've wasted my life.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Mayor Quimby! What are you doing here? I'm here with my nephews.", "c": ["Marge", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "It's Garrett Morris's birthday.", "c": ["Club patron"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "This is not a library. This is not a Kwik-E-Mart.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "You're not gonna hunt me for sport are you?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "I hit it! I hit it! My cans. My precious, antique cans. Aw, look what you done to 'em.", "c": ["Marge", "Shooting range owner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Homer, stop that. It's just a weather station. Come on, Marge. It's fun to smash things. I smashed it good.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "As of this moment, Lionel Hutz no longer exists. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Hey, a new weather station! I'll bash it good. Oh... it's just no fun without Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Ah, just get one of those inflatable women. But make sure it's a woman though. 'Cause one time I-- [Stammering]", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Their left taillight's a little smaller than their right one. I better pull 'em over.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "This car's stolen. Fat chance.", "c": ["Ruth Powers", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "One is wearing a green dress, pearls and has a lot of blue hair. A lot of blue hair? [Giggles] What a freak.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "It's Marge! She's become a crazed criminal just because I didn't take her to the ballet. That's exactly how Dillinger got started. Really?", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! It just disappeared. It's a ghost car! There are ghost cars all over these highways, you know. Hold me. Only if you hold me.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "This cross-country flight from the law would be hell if we didn't stick together. Hey. Friends stick together. It's amazing how through all this adversity, we managed to stick together. If there's one thing decent folk do, it's stick together. I hate it when the waffles stick together. Sticking together is what good waffles do.", "c": ["Various diner patrons"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Mmm, engine-block eggs. If we can keep these down, we'll be sitting pretty. That's them! Quiet. I can't hear the eggs.", "c": ["Ruth Powers", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Don't touch my stuff! Hey. This isn't the Y.M.C.A.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "I'm on a road. Looks to be asphalt. Um, aw, geez. Trees, shrubs. I'm directly under the Earth's sun... now.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "I always knew someday Mom would violently rise up and cast off the shackles of our male oppressors. Aw, shut your yap.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "At the risk of editorializing, these women are guilty and must be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion. Otherwise, their behavior could incite other women, leading to anarchy of biblical proportions. It's in Revelations, people!", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Oh, no! They're headed right for the Grand Chasm. Oh, my God! They're gonna drive right into it just to teach us men a lesson. And it's all my fault!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "I'm sorry I haven't been a better husband. I'm sorry about the time I tried to make gravy in the bathtub. I'm sorry I used your wedding dress to wax the car. I'm sorry-- Oh, well, let's just say I'm sorry for the whole marriage up to this point.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "You're right. I am lucky to have him.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Ha! And to think those idiot environmentalists were protesting this landfill. Solid waste. I could kiss you.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Lionel Hutz, a.k.a. Miguel Sanchez, a.k.a. Dr. Nguyen Van Thoc... was paid eight dollars for his 32 hours of babysitting. He was glad to get it.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 6, "et": "Marge On The Lam"}, {"t": "Blah. Blee. Bleh. [Chuckles] Stupid animals.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Ooh, the Springfield Men's Shelter is giving away 60 soiled mattresses.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Why do you read that 'Free' column, Homer? They never have anything good.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "'Tramampoline.' 'Trambapoline.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "He said what now? Please, don't bring home any more old crutches.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Hey. That seltzer ain't free.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "There once was a man named Enis-- I can just haul it away, free?", "c": ["Krusty", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Dad, this one gesture almost makes up for years of shaky fathering.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "I'm gonna have my wedding here.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "It'll double the value of our house... and it was free-- free!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "It smells funny in there. No, it doesn't.", "c": ["Unknown child", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Otto, are you okay? Yeah. Just pop my shoulder back in. [Cracks] Ooh. Thanks, buddy. Hey, I lost my turn.", "c": ["Homer", "Otto"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Each leap brings us closer to God. Catch me, Lord. Catch me.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Kids, kids. Once you get hurt, move aside and let other people jump.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Hey, Krusty. I'm bringing back the-- You just keep right on driving.", "c": ["Homer", "Krusty"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "callback"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Homer: 'That's the last I'll see of Mr. Trampoline.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "If this were a cartoon, the cliff would break off now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "All right. All right. You win for now... but someday you'll rust! Rust, I tell ya! [Hysterical laughter]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "All right. I got me a bed.", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "If it were up to you all we'd ever do is work and go to church. That's not true. Name one thing you've done in the past month that was fun.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "I made sloppy joes. [Scoffs] That's not fun.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "[Montage of Marge nagging quotes]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "She's one of my favorites. I loved her in the thing I saw her in.", "c": ["Brad Goodman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Geriatric Profanity Disorder, or G.P.D.", "c": ["Brad Goodman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "You might remember me from such self-help videos as Smoke Yourself Thin and Get Confident, Stupid.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Troy: 'Then Brad Goodman came along and gave me this job and a can of fortified wine.'", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "[Loud Gulp] Ahh! Sweet liquor eases the pain.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "I'm a Ph.D.... in pain.", "c": ["Brad Goodman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Troy, this circle is you. My God, it's like you've known me all my life.", "c": ["Brad Goodman", "Troy McClure"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "I can see that I'm just a passive-aggressive coculprit. By nagging you when you do foolish things... I just enable your life-script.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Surplus drums of mayonnaise from Operation Desert Storm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "After all, we did agree to attend a self-help seminar. What an odd thing to say.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "There's no trick to it. It's just a simple trick.", "c": ["Brad Goodman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Stay the course, Big Ned. You're doing super.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "[Italian Accent] Hey, Moe. Whatsa matter? You no talka with your accent no more. Mamma mia.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "We're still going antiquing on Saturday, right, Mother?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "A human going! Bart, be quiet.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "[Snorts] Earth to boring guy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Here we have a man with an obvious eating disorder... and a woman with a bizarre hairstyle-- I'm sure worn only for shock value.", "c": ["Brad Goodman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "His name is Bart. His name isn't important.", "c": ["Homer", "Brad Goodman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "We like Roy! We like Roy!", "c": ["Seniors"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Lise, today I am a god. Is that why you're sitting on an ice cream sandwich?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Take five, Mrs. Feesh. [Ragtime piano playing badly]", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "I want-a change-a my name-a.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "You've defined yourself as a rebel. In the absence of a repressive milieu, your societal niche has been co-opted.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "You've fallen through the cracks of our quick-fix, one-hour photo, instant-oatmeal society.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "If elected mayor... my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ya and burn your town to cinders.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "I feel like such a free spirit... and I'm really enjoying this so-called 'iced cream.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Oh, who am I kidding? The boathouse was the time.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Arr! This picture will serve me well on those lonely nights at sea.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Skateboards? You copycat wannabes. Ow! Eat my shorts, young man.", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "By the way, this young lady is not my wife, but I am sleeping with her. I'm telling you this because I'm comfortable with my womanizing.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "This bandstand wasn't double-bolted. Huh. I didn't feel like it. Hey. I hear you, buddy.", "c": ["Worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Construction worker: 'This bandstand wasn't double-bolted. Huh. I didn't feel like it.'", "c": ["Construction worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Yeah. Next you'll be laying a guilt-trip on me for not oiling that Ferris wheel.", "c": ["Same construction worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Here, boy. In here. Huh? Hold on, Son. [Engine Puttering] So long, suckers. Damn. They're very slowly getting away.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Bart", "Crowd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "They're heading for the old mill. No, we're not. Well, let's go to the old mill anyway, get some cider.", "c": ["Angry mob member", "Homer", "Another mob member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "Self-improvement is better left to people who live in big cities. No. Self-improvement can be achieved, but not with a quick fix.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "You're off the case, McGonigle. You're off your case, Chief. What does that mean exactly? It means he gets results, you stupid chief!", "c": ["TV Chief", "McGonigle", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "You're off your case, Chief. What does that mean exactly? It means he gets results, you stupid chief!", "c": ["McGonigle", "Chief", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Inner Child"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "No es bueno", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Winners don't use drugs. Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh!", "c": ["Arcade Machine", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Don't say that out loud. Two Caucasian males out of money in Sector 4. Go to code red.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Security"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. You'll have to leave.", "c": ["Arcade Employee"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "You mustn't kill time, boys. You must cherish it. Seize the day! Can I have some change to go get loaded?", "c": ["Homeless Man"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Honey Roasted Peanuts. Ingredients: Salt... artificial honey-roasting agents... pressed peanut sweepings.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Steak? Money's too tight for steak. Steak? Mm, sure. Steak.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "The last peanut-- overflowing with the oil and salt of its departed brothers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Hmm. Ow! Pointy. Eww! Slimy. Uh-oh! Moving. Aha! Aw. Twenty dollars.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "I wanted a peanut. Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts. Explain how. Money can be exchanged for goods and services.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer's Brain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "This is wearin' a bit thin. You think so?", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Our prayers have been answered.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "One that's made entirely out of syrup. Entirely ou-- [Gasps]", "c": ["Bart", "Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "An all-syrup Super-Squishy? Oh, sir, such a thing has never been done. Just make it happen.", "c": ["Apu", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Oh! She won't hold! She's breaking up!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Okay. We're young, rich and full of sugar. What'll we do? Let's go crazy Broadway-style!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Springfield, Springfield It's a helluva town / The school yard's up and the shopping mall's down", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "New York is thataway, man. Thanks, kid.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse", "New Yorker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Mmm! Free goo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Hey! Don't bogart that Squishy! I don't know where you magic pixies came from... but I like your pixie drink.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "The remorse of the sugar junkie.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I must have joined the Junior Campers. The few, the proud, the geeky.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Boy! A man on a Squishy bender can sure do some crazy things.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "I've made my bed, and now I've gotta weasel out of it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals-- except the weasel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "I got a dirty word shaved into the back of my head. What is it with you kids and that word?", "c": ["Milhouse", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Woe is me. My precious uniform. Oh.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Um, Mrs. Krabappel, I'd like to stay... but this uniform carries certain responsibilities.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Hello, alternative to testing.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "You're just in time for Sponge-bath the Old Folks Day. Help yourself, but stay above the equator.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Well, sir, just apply a smidgen of peanut butter to an ordinary pine cone... and you've got yourself a makeshift bird feeder, sir.", "c": ["Junior Camper"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Oh, cool. A 'spork.' Don't hurt me!", "c": ["Bart", "Junior Camper"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "You call that a knife? This is a knife.", "c": ["Warren"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "This man's appendix is about to burst. Luckily, I have my trusty pocketknife.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "'Don't do what Donny Don't does.' They could've made this clearer.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Well! If it isn't the leader of the wiener patrol... boning up on his nerd lessons.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "'Egghead likes his booky-wook'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Rubber knife? This place is for wimps.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.72, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Ooh! Floor pie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "The guys who wrote this show don't know squat. Itchy should've tied Scratchy's tongue with a taut-line hitch, not a sheet bend.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Howdilly-hey, Camper Bart! Ready for today's meeting? You know-dilly know it, Neddy. Okilly-dokilly.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Duh, I'm the captain. My son is Bart. What an oaf. How embarrassing. I'm glad he's not my father.", "c": ["Homer", "Other Parents"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Hiya! I'm sure you kids know me best... as Sergeant Fatso Judson in From Here to Eternity.", "c": ["Ernest Borgnine"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees... and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Look. Homer won't wanna go. So just ask him, and he'll say no. I don't wanna go. So if he asks me to go, I'll just say yes.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Wait! Are you sure that's how this sort of thing works? Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer's Brain"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Bart, I'd be delighted to go on your trip with you. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Arr! Here be a fine vessel... the yarest river-goin' boat there be. I'll take it. Arr. I don't know what I'm doin'.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Please not Flanders. Please not Flanders. Please not Flanders. Well, Homer, looks like we're boat buddies, huh?", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "I guess now we know why... they call 'em rapids and not 'slowpids,' huh?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Hey! There's a New Mexico. So many Krusty Burger locations.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "So many Krusty Burger locations.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Wrong again, Flanders. In a situation like this, you just relax... and let the current take you back to land.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Oh, pardon me, Mr. Let's Ration Everything. What do you think we're floatin' on? Don't you know the poem? Water, water everywhere, so let's all have a drink.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "We're saved! Seagulls always stay near land. They only go out to sea to die.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "See that, boy? Your old man was right, not Flanders. We are doomed. In your face, Flanders!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "See that, boy? Your old man was right, not Flanders. We are doomed. In your face, Flanders!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Look here, boy. The secret is to take tiny bites, like so. Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "I bet they're having the time of their life. [Deliverance banjo music]", "c": ["Bart", "Music"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "This ain't one of your church picnic flare gun firings, Flanders. This is the real thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "We're done-didilly-dodilly done-didilly-dodilly done-didilly-dodilly done--", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "We're done-didilly-dodilly done-didilly-dodilly done-didilly-dodilly done-- - Flanders! Snap out of it!", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Godspeed, little doodle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "I stole it from that Borgnine guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Thanks, boy. Now, be careful when you-- Oops.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "The foul stench of death is upon us! Mmm! Hamburger.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Never mind the fog! That way! Steer. There isn't much time!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "Give me 700 Krusty Burgers! You want fries with that?", "c": ["Homer", "Employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 8, "et": "Boy Scoutz N The Hood"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "The beauty of it is each parking space is a mere one foot narrower-- indistinguishable to the naked eye... but therein lies the game.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[ Man ] I can't get out! [ Woman ] I'm trapped. [ Man ] I can't breathe!", "c": ["Various drivers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Bart laughing sinisterly", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "God bless America. But my classroom is not a democracy. Ha!", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Uh-- Um-- Hmm? Uh-- [Grunting] Mmm-- Uh--", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "It's 'photosynthesis'! Damn your feeble brain!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "You mean it ain't me noggin', it's me peepers? Oh, well, that's just 'loverly.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, this emergency exit is painted on! There's no way out! There's no way out! We're doomed! Doomed!", "c": ["Worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Smithers, where does that tube go? I'm not sure, sir. It was here when we moved in.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[ Men ] Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance! [ Men Ululating ]", "c": ["Unknown men"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Excellent, Zutroy. Work hard and each day you'll get a shiny penny.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "That's preposterous. Zutroy here is as American as apple pie. [Foreign Language] Mr. Burns.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Zutroy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[ Foreign Language ] Mr. Burns.", "c": ["Zutroy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "We found a missing Brazilian soccer team working in your reactor core. That plane crashed on my property!", "c": ["Agent Wesson", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Get back to work, Stewart! [Quacking]", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Menachem Begin wore a pair just like them.", "c": ["Eye Doctor"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "My voice is crazy with this spraying already. Oy, I feel so much better, Mr. Medical Science-type Person.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "And we can't take off our pants when it gets real hot. And we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain.", "c": ["Plant Workers"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Yeah-- I mean, that-- You know, if we wanted to. Not that I ever did.", "c": ["Plant Worker"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Ain't you never seen a naked chick ridin' a clam before?", "c": ["Plant Worker"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Yeah, nice shoes, uh, two feet. Yeah.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Your appearance is comical to me.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[Gasps] I'm a nerd! [Gasps] So am I!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[Fish] Homer loves Mindy! Homer loves Mindy!", "c": ["Fish"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer, you're hallucinating again. Not a good sign.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Yeah. Usually you just take the box of doughnuts into the bathroom.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "See, I got this friend named Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo. That's the worst name I ever heard. [Sobbing] Bye, Joey Jo-Jo!", "c": ["Homer", "Moe", "Joey Jo-Jo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[ Sobbing ] Bye, JoeyJo-Jo!", "c": ["Unknown customer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "It was on one of these bar napkins.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, my favorite-- raspberry swirl with a double glaze! Double glaze. [Gurgling]", "c": ["Homer", "Mindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Foul temptress. I'll bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy too.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "I'll just push the button for the stimulator-- I mean, elevator.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts. Oh, that's unsexy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[Humming Theme From I Dream of Jeannie] Ew! [Burps] D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "They're burned on the outside, but they're frozen on the inside, so it balances out.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "That raccoon stole my lamb chop!", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "That raccoon stole my lamb chop!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "I got two dollars off because mine got smeared.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Did fooling around on their wives make them great? We'll find out next when we play ''Hail to the Cheat.''", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "The Burmese melon fly has over 1000 sex partners and suffers virtually no guilt.", "c": ["Nature Documentary Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson, that's a dilly of a pickle. Hey, let's conference you with Marge, huh?", "c": ["Hotline Operator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Sir Isa-who? Oh, very well. [Gasps] Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters?", "c": ["Homer", "Guardian Angel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Are you happy, Jeeves? Yes, sir. Quite.", "c": ["Homer", "Jeeves"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[Gasps] Marge lives here? Madam President, your approval rating is soaring.", "c": ["Homer", "Advisor", "President Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "The refuge of the damned. A place where we can work on our extra-credit assignments without fear of reprisal.", "c": ["Nerd Leader"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[Kids] Excelsior!", "c": ["Nerd Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, Mindy, you came and you gave without flaking, But I sent you Ben Gay", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Because I have a small role in a Broadway musical. It's not much, but it's a start.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Judging from your song, you're infatuated with a woman named Mindy or a man named Andy.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Sucker!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I'm sweating like Roger Ebert.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Wow! Capital City! The Windy Apple!", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Did you know Kinch had a radio in the coffee pot? He did? Mmm!", "c": ["Homer", "Klink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[Wolf Whistle, Meowing] [Imitates Bed Squeaking, Growls, Pants] [Barking, Howling] [Gibberish] Hubba-hubba.", "c": ["Bellhop"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "All I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating and maybe building a little fort. That's it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "No, Homer. Let's do it. Let's call room service!", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Fly, my pretties. Fly!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[Both] Mmm. Foot-long chili dog. [Both Gasp]", "c": ["Homer", "Mindy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "[Marge's Voice: Mechanical Humming Sound] [Screams] It's a sign!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Kids, did anyone pray for giant shoes? I did! Okilly-dokilly.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, the nerd you knew is dead. Beat me, and you will be beating one of your own.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, the nerd you knew is dead. Beat me, and you will be beating one of your own.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Thanks for poisoning the planet, bastard! Get bent! No more Chernobyls! Go to hell!", "c": ["Protesters"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, we're out of these 'new love' cookies. Well, open up the 'stick with your wife' barrel.", "c": ["Restaurant Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "''You will find happiness with a new love.'' Oh, even the Chinese are against me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Well, not the boy. He drives me nuts. Sometimes I'd just like to--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, there's a turkey behind the bed! Mmm. Marge.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, Margie, you came and you found me a turkey, On my vacation away from workie", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 9, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Homer"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams] [Glass Shattering]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "The way people act around here you'd think the streets were paved with gold. - They are. [Car crashes]", "c": ["Unknown citizen", "Another citizen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Got any spare change, man? - Yes! And you ain't gettin' it! Everybody wants somethin' for nothin'. I'm old! Gimme, gimme, gimme!", "c": ["Beggar", "Citizen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "There's something you don't see in a toilet every day. Anybody lose their glasses? Last chance. Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. - That's a right triangle, ya idiot! - D'oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "No one must know I dropped them in the toilet. Not I, the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accords.", "c": ["Kissinger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Better keep the egghead. He just might come in handy.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Lisa, just because you're 10 feet tall doesn't mean you can tell me what to do. - I'm Bart. - Give me those.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "I haven't been able to find a job in six years. - And what training do you have? - Five years of modern dance. Six years of tap.", "c": ["Unemployed person", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Now, at the risk of being unpopular, this reporter places the blame for all this squarely on you, the viewers.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And once elected, I will send for the rest of you.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "The chair recognizes the little chick with the gleam of hope in her eyes.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Aw, just what I need to tip the skycaps.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "There's nothing here a little elbow grease won't fix! So let's roll up our sleeves and-- [Snoring]", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Once something has been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "By building a casino I could tighten my stranglehold on this dismal town!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "[Man] Probably Marge is gonna have some [objection]. Actually, I think it might really help our economy.", "c": ["Man", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Instead of fleeing this town I'll stay here and grow fat off kickbacks and slush funds. - Yea!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Me leg's gone gimpy! Who'll provide for me little ones? [Screaming] [Laughing]", "c": ["Construction worker", "Young Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Oh-- What was I laughing at now? Oh, yes. That crippled Irishman.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Fresh from the streets of Sussex they are! - Get out.", "c": ["Casino designer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. We'll sail round the horn and return with spices and silk the likes of which ye have never seen. - We're building a casino! - Arr.", "c": ["Sea captain", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "No. Nevada makes my butt look big.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Shh! I'm trying to teach the baby to gamble.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Your lifelong dream was to be a contestant on The Gong Show. And you did it in 1977.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "We got more gongs than the break-dancing robot that caught on fire.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Hey! I said bug off! - [Whimpers]", "c": ["Casino patron", "Gerry Cooney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Dealer bust! Looks like you all win again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "I wore it the day Kennedy was shot and it always brings me good luck.", "c": ["Senator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Papa needs a new pair of spats. I want some of that sweet, sweet do-re-mi! Fat City, here I come!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Oh, for crying out loud, I dropped one. Oh! Now it's in my shoe! Ow! Ow! Ooh!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "So much nicer than the savagery of the jungle, ja?", "c": ["Gunther"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! Jackpot. Wait a minute! Are you over 21? - Are you? - I'm not authorized to answer that.", "c": ["Bart", "Slot attendant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "By the way, your martinis suck! - Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do? Start your own casino in your tree house and get your little friends to come? I'd like to see that!", "c": ["Bart", "Bartender"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge, after your big tantrum against legalized gambling I bet it feels pretty weird to be in a casino. - I was for the casino! - Strike three, Marge!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "I remember that meeting, and I have a photographic memory. [Shows completely wrong memory]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "For you. It's the president. - Y'ello?", "c": ["Casino worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Oh, what the hey!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Definitely have to leave the table. No! Please, please, please, please, please. Gotta watch Wapner. Leave the table. Yeah, leave the table.", "c": ["Robert Goulet"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Sir, you haven't slept since the casino opened five days ago. - I've discovered the perfect business. People swarm in, empty their pockets and scuttle off!", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Whoa! A baby on the table! That's good luck! - Snake eyes. Sorry. - Boo!", "c": ["Gamblers", "Dealer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Whoa, Marge! You gotta watch out. Your little boy Bart could have been eaten by that pony!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Man, that's classic compulsive behavior. - Wow! Free beer!", "c": ["Barney", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "I don't wanna hit a sore spot, but can we talk about herpes?", "c": ["Comedian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "You people are the worst audience I've ever seen. - Well, you're the worst comedian we've ever seen! - Oh, great! Well, we'll just sit here silently for the next 90 minutes.", "c": ["Comedian", "Audience member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "[Germs] Freemasons run the country! - Ew!", "c": ["Germs", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "You're just mad because everyone in this town loves gambling except for you! Well, that's just sad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Do you get the feeling this family is disintegrating? I mean, we haven't had a meal with Mom all week.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was really Liza Minnelli.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "You gotta improvise, Lisa. Cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust-- Mmm!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "You're spending too much time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem. - I won $60 last night. - Whoo-hoo! Problem solved!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Smithers, I've designed a new plane. I call it the Spruce Moose, and it will carry 200 passengers from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in 17 minutes! - That's quite a nice model, sir. - Model?", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "[Screams] Bogeyman! - You nail the windows shut. I'll get the gun.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "None of this would have happened if you had been here to keep me from acting stupid!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Hmm. Very well. Begin the thawing of Jim Nabors.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "But if I don't show up in a rubber suit shaped like the state of Florida I'll be the laughingstock of the whole school. - Oh, it's always something, isn't it? First I have to drive your pregnant mother to the hospital so she can give birth to you, and now this!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Hello, 'Floreda'! - [Gasps] I'm not a state! I'm a monster! [Sobbing]", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Hello, 'Floreda'! - I'm not a state! I'm a monster!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor! And it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Double stars! Everybody wins! - Yea!", "c": ["Dealer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Smithers, I don't want that unpredictable lunatic working in my casino. / Fine. We'll transfer him to the nuclear plant, sir.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Fine. We'll transfer him to the nuclear plant, sir. - Oh, my beloved plant. How I miss her. Bah! To hell with this! Get my razor! Draw a bath! And get these Kleenex boxes off my feet!", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "And, uh, the jars of urine? - Oh, we'll hang on to those.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "And, uh, the jars of urine? - Oh, we'll hang on to those.", "c": ["Smithers", "Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Now, to the plant! We'll take the Spruce Moose! Hop in! - But, sir-- - I said hop in.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Yer getta ferda redda oura. - Think before you say each word. - You broke a promise to your child.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "You made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trouper.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "No, no! That's too expensive. Just don't do it anymore.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "I'm Idaho! - Yes, of course you are.", "c": ["Ralph", "Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "You know, Marge, for the first time in our marriage I can finally look down my nose at you. You have a gambling problem!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Well, that's nothing, because you have a gambling problem!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Homer, when you forgive someone you can't throw it back at them like that. - Aw, what a gyp.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "Homer, when you forgive someone you can't throw it back at them like that. - Aw, what a gyp. - Remember when I-- - Homer! - Oh, yeah. I forgot already.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Homer", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 10, "et": "Pringfield Or How I Learned To Stop Worr"}, {"t": "And our portable TV. - D'oh! / And my necklace. - Ah, that's no big loss.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "You probably got a whole drawer full of'em. / Well, yes, I do, but they're all heirlooms too.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Homer: 'You had a stamp collection?'", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Stamp collection? Ha-ha! / Ohh. Bart's pain is funny, but mine isn't.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Can't talk. Robbed. Go hell.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Flanders mentions stolen 'Shroud of Turin beach towels'", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Curse you, magic beans! / Stop blaming the beans.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Well, there doesn't seem to be any pattern yet... but if I take this one and move it here... Hello! It almost looks like an arrow.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Hey, look, Chief! It's pointing right at this police station. / Let's get out of here! [All Screaming]", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum", "Police"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "This reporter isn't saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman... but he very well could be.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "So, Professor, would you say it's time for everyone to panic? / Yes, I would, Kent.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Professor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Gosh, look at me. I'm sweatin' like a pig here. Ah. Ah, man. That's better.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "[Nervous Chuckle] Well, the real humans won't, uh, burn quite so fast in there.", "c": ["Security Salesman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "All right! Free laserium. All the colors of the 'bow, man.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Ow! Oh. My cataracts are gone. I can see again. All the beauty of na-- Oh! I'm blind. Oh, well. Easy come, easy go.", "c": ["Jasper"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "[Screams] It's the cat burglar! Please don't kill me! / Abe, can I borrow your ointment? / Oh, it's you, Malloy.", "c": ["Jasper", "Malloy", "Abe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "All right. But this time clean off the applicator!", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "[Gunshot] Thank you for coming. I'll see you in hell.", "c": ["Malloy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "What, this jug? / [Rhythmic tones] Hee-hee! [Laughing] Whee! Whoa-ho-ho!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Lisa, never, ever stop in the middle of a hoedown.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Since the police can't seem to get off their duffaroonies... to do something about this burglareeno... I think it's time we start our own neighborhood watch... aroonie!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Someone else! [All] Yea! Someone else! Someone else! Someone else! / I'm someone else. / He's right!", "c": ["Crowd", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "We don't need a thinker. We need a doer, someone who'll act without considering the consequences.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "I'm filled with piss and vinegar. At first I was just filled with vinegar.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Who chased the Irish out of Springfield Village in aught-four? Me! That's who. / And a fine job you did too.", "c": ["Abe", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "but you're a very old man now... and old people are useless. Aren't they? Aren't they? Huh? / [Giggling] Yes, they are! Yes, they are!", "c": ["Homer", "Maggie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Marge! We're responsible adults. [Gunshot] Whoops. / If a group of responsible adults can't handle firearms in a responsible way-- [Gunshot] Sorry. [Multiple gunshots] Uh-oh. Me again. Sorry.", "c": ["Homer", "Various vigilantes"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "I'll be Cue Ball, Skinner can be Eight Ball... Barney will be Twelve Ball, and, Moe, you can be Cue Ball. / You're an idiot.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "See, it's a miniature version of the A-bomb. The government built it in the '50s to drop on beatniks.", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Take that, Maynard G. Krebs!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "It's not just 'a megaphone,' Dad. It's a Rapmaster 2000.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Move along there. [Gasps] It's Hammer! / Return to your homes and places of businesses. [Cheering]", "c": ["Homer", "Crowd", "MC Hammer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Hey, you! Where'd you get that saxophone? / Sears. / Get him!", "c": ["Homer", "Innocent bystander", "Vigilantes"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "No burning leaves without a permit! / I got one. / Too late!", "c": ["Homer", "Citizen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "You'd better have a good reason for doing that, boy. / It makes me feel like a big man. / Let me check my reason list. Yep, it's on here.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Hey, you're that drunken posse. Wow! Can I join ya? / I don't know. Can you swing a sack of doorknobs? / Can I! / You're in. Here's the sack. But you gotta supply your own knobs.", "c": ["Herman", "Vigilantes"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "So I said to him, 'Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we got here. And as for your grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "I mean, if you're the police, who will police the police? / I dunno. Coast Guard?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges... world domination. / World domination? / Oh, that might be a typo.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "[Thinking] Mental note: The girl knows too much.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 8.49, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes. / Hmm, touch\u00e9.", "c": ["Homer", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Hello, Homer, my arch nemesis. / Y'ello. / Uh...you do realize who this is. / Uh... Marge?", "c": ["Cat Burglar", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Homer! That's our stage manager! / Oh. Sorry. I'm a little nervous.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "We'll be right back. / I get to say that!", "c": ["Cat Burglar", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Just stand around and don't steal anything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Well, Mr. Cat Burglar. You'd like to get in here, wouldn't you? There's just one little problem-- thirty-six years ago, some lady gave birth to a man named HomerJ. Simp--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Underage kids drinking beer without a permit!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "'Asleep at the switch'? I wasn't asleep. I was drunk!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "You let me down, man! Now I don't believe in nothing no more. I'm going to law school. / No!", "c": ["Otto", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Before, I was too old and no one wanted my help. Suddenly, look who comes to old Grampa with-- / Wait! Where are you going? Come back. I'll tell you.", "c": ["Abe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "On one of my frequent trips to the ground... / I noticed Malloy wore sneakers... for sneaking!", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "There was something strange about the way he walked. Much more vertical than usual.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "And finally, Malloy, unlike most retired people... has the world's largest cubic zirconia on his coffee table.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Aw, Dad, I could kiss ya! / Kiss me right here. It's the only part that still has feeling.", "c": ["Homer", "Abe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "So, Mr. Malloy, it seems that the cat has been caught... by the very person that was trying to catch him. / How ironic.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Malloy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "So, you see, old people aren't so useless after all. / Malloy's old, and he outsmarted the lot of you. And I'm even older, and I outsmarted him!", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Selma, my dear, your lock of MacGyver's hair. / Ohh. Thank you. I'll add it to the ball.", "c": ["Malloy", "Selma"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "That reminds me. Here's your monthly kickback. / You just-- You couldn't have picked a worse time.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "It's buried right here in Springfield, under a big 'T.'", "c": ["Malloy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Very well. It's buried at 4723 Maple Valley Road. [Sighs] You take Highway 201 south for 15 minutes. You take a left, a left--", "c": ["Malloy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "What's the matter with you, kid? You told me the stream was shallow! Why, you-- I-- [Chuckling] Oh, you. Oh, kid. I'll get even with you.", "c": ["Malloy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is... would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open... and feast on the goo inside? / Yes, I would, Kent.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Professor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "'Frightfully sorry, but there is no hidden treasure. I have already used this time to escape from your jail. Fondest wishes--' Oh, I can't make out the signature!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "We'll dig our way out! [Grunting] / No, no. Dig up, stupid.", "c": ["Homer", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 11, "et": "Homer The Vigilante"}, {"t": "\"Today will be a day like every other day.\" D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Jawohl, mein Mommandant.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "The only one who has it easy is Marge. [Marge grunting with effort]", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Ah, Lise, won't it be great to cast off the shackles of the soul-crushing hellhole that is Springfield Elementary? Oh! I'm sorry. I forgot. Your class isn't going.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "You're right, Bart. School is for losers.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "And that's how I cured all disease, ended war and reunited the entire cast of TV's Facts of Life including longtime holdout Tootie.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Hush, field trip boy! Impaled on my Nobel Peace Prize. How ironic.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Oh! Not the box factory again, Seymour.", "c": ["Edna", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Class, instead of going to the box factory today we'll be going to the... box factory.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Damn TV! You've ruined my imagination just like you've ruined my ability to-- to, um-- uh-- Oh, well.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Do any of these boxes have candy in 'em? No. Will they ever? No. We only make boxes to ship nails.", "c": ["Bart", "tour guide"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "When will we be able to see a finished box, sir? Oh, we don't assemble them here. That's done in Flint, Michigan.", "c": ["student", "tour guide"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Any of your workers had their hands cut off by machinery? No. And then the hand started crawling around and tried to strangle everybody? No, that has never happened. Any popped eyeballs?", "c": ["Bart", "tour guide"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "This room is the most popular part of our tour. It's just like the other rooms. Yes, but with one important difference. Oh. We took that out. Yes, it is just like the other rooms.", "c": ["tour guide"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "What's that building over there? That's just a TV studio where they film Krusty the Clown and other non-box-related programs. Since it has nothing to do with boxes, I'll just shut these blinds.", "c": ["student", "tour guide"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Now, here's my office. If you'll direct your eyes to the floor, you'll see a yellow line. Follow it. It will lead you around my desk and back out the door.", "c": ["tour guide"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "I gotta get out of here. Aha! The perfect escape.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Simpson, I'm giving you until the count of three to come out. One! Two! Three! I've done all I can do.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Y'ello? You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Ay, ay, ay! No me gusta! I'm sorry. I'm really not comfortable with this, Ethan. It's just-- It's the same, old, tired gags, isn't it? I mean, let's give the audience some credit. How about a giant mousetrap? I love it!", "c": ["Krusty", "director"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "He might have fallen into one of these machines! Oh, my God! That's his lucky red hat! He's a box! My boy's a box! Damn you! A box!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Tragic news tonight. 120 dead in a tidal wave in Kuala La-la-- Pur-- Kuala Lum-pur-- France.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Bart questions 'Yoink?' - confusion at Kent's made-up exclamation", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "I'm Bart Simpson. I saved you from jail. Oh, I-- I reunited you with your estranged father. Uh, I don't, uh-- I saved your career, man! Remember your comeback special? Yeah, well, what have you done for me lately?", "c": ["Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "I got you that Danish. And I'll never forget it.", "c": ["Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Wow! A big clown hankie. It's a towel, you yutz! I want you to wash it. You're my new assistant.", "c": ["Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "A powerful tidal wave in Kuala Lumpur has killed 120 people. Ay, chihuahua! Whoa, whoa, whoa!", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Bumblebee Man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "I've got a weekend job helping the poor, and I'm only eight. That's not a job. It's a waste of time. What can poor people pay you? Nothin'! What satisfaction do you get from helping them? None! Who wants to help poor people anyway? Nobody!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Why not? I remember my first after-school job. I was in a band. Hello, everybody. I'm Archie Bell, and I'm also The Drells.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Hey, whatsa matter, you? You crazy kid, you chasing away my business. Buzz off, Giuseppe. Pepe, go for the face!", "c": ["Giuseppe", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Dad, I'm asking if I can get a job. Gig, Son. When you're a musician, a job is called a gig.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Don't listen to him, kid. This is a dream factory. The birthplace of magic and enchantment. Now I need you to go clean out my toilet.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Right in here, boy. If it-- Ooh! I don't know what I was thinking last night. This'll take you a couple hours.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "I'm tellin' ya. I do work on the Krusty Show. Look at the credits. There's my name, right there-- Bart Simpson. Looks more like 'Brad Storch.' No, it says, 'Betty.' 'Betty Symington.'", "c": ["Bart", "classmates"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "It's okay, Son. Who cares what a bunch of fourth-graders think? You're doing what you want to do with your life. Nothin' else matters. Thanks, Dad. That's great advice. Yep. Well, that's what got me where I am today. Oh.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Yes, Krusty? Bart, I need to get your fingerprints on a candlestick. Meet me in the conservatory chop-chop.", "c": ["Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Aah! There's cheese in this sandwich! Surely you know I'm lactose intolerant! Sorry. Sorry? Do you know how sick this is going to make me? Oh, boy. Come stand next to the bathroom door. I want to yell at you some more.", "c": ["Krusty", "assistant"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Bart! I need to use you in a sketch. You want me to be on the show? It's just one line. Mel's supposed to say it, but he's dead. Dead? Or sick. I don't know. I forget.", "c": ["Krusty", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "All you gotta do is say, 'I am waiting for a bus.' Then I hit you with pies for five minutes. Got that?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "I didn't do it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Don't move, dude. This is totally a gun. I didn't do it.", "c": ["robber", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "This is the third time that this building has burned down because someone has been smokin' in bed. I didn't do it. Help me!", "c": ["fire victims"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "This biography of Bart came out awfully quickly. It's not even about him. Sure it is. Look at the cover. But inside, it's mostly about Ross Perot and the last two chapters are excerpts from the Oliver North trial.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Ah, Oliver North. He was just poured into that uniform.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "I have to pay to see my own grandson! That's the democrats for ya!", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "See the boy-- five dollars. Or call him 24 hours a day on BartChat. Are you Bart? Sure, I am. I didn't do nothin'. Uh, isn't it, 'I didn't do it'? Yeah, whatever.", "c": ["Barney", "Bart caller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Come on, Lisa. Say somethin' funny. Like what? Oh, somethin' stupid like Bart would say. Bucka bucka, or woozle wozzle. Somethin' like that. Forget it, Dad. If I ever become famous I want it to be for something worthwhile, not because of some obnoxious fad.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Obnoxious fad? Ah, don't worry, Son. You know, they said the same thing about Urkel. That little snot boy. I'd like to smack that kid!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "'Just do the line.' 'Just do the line.' What's gonna happen to me?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "And now, it's time for Match Game 2034 with Billy Crystal, Farrah Fawcett-Majors-O'Neal-Varney, the 'I didn't do it' boy, ventriloquist Loni Anderson, Spike Lee, and the always lovely and vivacious head of Kitty Carlisle.", "c": ["announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "I didn't do it. I didn't do it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Woozle wozzle? What the-- That's what passes for entertainment these days? Woozle wozzle?", "c": ["Bart", "audience member"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "What happened? Oh, don't worry about that. You're just finished, that's all. Finished? It happens all the time. That's show business for you. One day, you're the most important guy who ever lived. The next day, you're some schmo working in a box factory.", "c": ["Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "I heard that! Boy, show business is kind of cruel, isn't it?", "c": ["box factory worker", "Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "Say, speaking of one-trick ponies, whatever happened to that 'I didn't do it' kid? Boy, did that get old fast. Whoa! You know, if you wanna last in this business, you gotta stay fresh.", "c": ["radio DJs"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "You'll always have them to remind you of the time when you were the whole world's special little guy. Thanks, Mom. And now you can go back to just being you instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catchphrase. D'oh! Ay, caramba! Hidilly-ho! Ha-ha! Excellent.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Homer", "Lisa", "Ned", "Nelson", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 9.36, "im": 9.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "What kind of catchphrase is that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Gets Famous"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "I need one 29-cent stamp. - That's $1.85.", "c": ["Customer", "Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "I want $2.00 worth of gas, please. - $4.20.", "c": ["Customer", "Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "How much is your penny candy? - Surprisingly expensive.", "c": ["Martin", "Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Silly customer! You cannot hurt a Twinkie!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Jiminy Cricket! Whoo! Expired ham.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Well, this time I've gone too far. No. No one will fall for-- Woo-hoo! Cheap meat! Ooh, this one's open.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Ooh! Stomach churning! Bowels clenching. Not much time. Must finish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Homer's illness was either caused by ingesting spoiled food... or [Chuckles] some sort of voodoo curse.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Hey, we've just been working the eyes.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "This shrimp isn't frozen, and it smells funny. - Okay. Ten pounds.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "That dog can sell anything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "It turns out the rest home was adequately heated. The footage you saw was of a fur-storage facility. We've also been told to apologize for using the term 'geezers.'", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Now, coming up next, 'The Case of the Cantankerous Old Geezer.'", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Dad, are you listening to me? - Shh! Lisa! The dog is barking.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "No way am I wearin' a freakin' wire. - All right, all right. - Would you be willing to wear a hidden camera and microphone? - Oh, that I'll wear.", "c": ["Homer", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "We've come up with a camera so tiny it fits into this oversized novelty hat.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "or you'll suffer permanent neck damage. - He's not kiddin'.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Camera operator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Perhaps you have a bee in your bonnet. - Bee? [Screaming]", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "He had one day left till retirement.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Oh, no. It is encrusted with filth. Oh, well. Let's sell it anyway.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Now, this is just between me and you, smashed hat.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Apu, will you ever stop selling spoiled meat? - No. I mean, yes. I mean-- Uh-oh.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "I think I come off very well. - Monster! Run, children!", "c": ["Apu", "Crowd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "And if I can obtain for you these animals?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "And you can no longer tell people about our fried pickles.", "c": ["Corporate boss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "The other one too.", "c": ["Corporate boss"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Give me that wiener! - No! I don't want to live, sir! - Give me that wiener! - No, Apu! It's not worth it!", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Even this babbling brook sounds almost like mocking laughter.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Who needs money when we got feathers?", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "It's true! It's true! We're so lame.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "No! Don't kill me! I didn't know there was film in that camera in that hat! I was unaware! I was unaware!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Now that I think about it, it may be a little confusing. Many have died needlessly.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. - He's got me there.", "c": ["Lisa", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Okay, okay. I'll let him. But then I get a Chipwich. Okay?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "I can see through time.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "For instance, tonight I'm using a-- Apu, what do you call this thing again? - A napkin. - Outrageous!", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Because I like people, and I need a place where I'll be out of the sun.", "c": ["Job applicant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Wait-Wait a minute! Those aren't convenience stores. That sounds like the resume of a Hollywood movie star. - Uh, yeah, well-- Huh! [Both Gasp] James Woods!", "c": ["Manager", "James Woods"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "And in the film Chaplin-- I had a little cameo in that-- I actually traveled in time back to the '20s where-- Well, [Chuckles] I-I've said too much.", "c": ["James Woods"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "What the-- - Uh, I like to keep a lollipop there.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Apu, we usually store our cans in the cupboard. - Oh, they'll never move that way.", "c": ["Marge", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "I cannot go there. That is the scene of my spiritual depantsing.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Ooh! Great selection and rock-bottom prices. But where is the love?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Attention, Monstromart shoppers. Just a reminder that we love each and every one of you. - Aww!", "c": ["PA Announcer", "Shoppers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Oh! I've killed her! It's all happening again!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Help me! Help me! [Gurgling] Mmm! It's cran-tastic!", "c": ["Store employee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Uh, Mrs. Simpson, the express line is the fastest line not always. That old man up front, he is starved for attention. He will talk the cashier's head off.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three-- medium brown.", "c": ["Old man"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Yes, but look-- all pathetic single men. Only cash, no chitchat.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Did I sound like a real Kwik-E-Mart, you know, kinda guy? - Actually, I thought it was a little labored.", "c": ["James Woods", "Customer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "You gotta lose yourself in the moment, man. - I'm me? - Hey, don't jerk me around, fella.", "c": ["Customer", "James Woods"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "That's even worse than the album Grampa released.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "[Beating] [Electrical Crackling] [Slowly] Ahh. Apu friend me good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "You see, whether igloo, hut or lean-to... or a geodesic dome... there's no structure I have been to which I'd rather call my home.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Sorry 'bout the salmonella - Heh-heh! That's okay.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Ahh. Everything really wrapped up nicely. Hmm. Much quicker than usual.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Hey, he's not happy at all! He lied to us through song!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "I hate when people do that!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "I hate when people do that!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Well, the least I could do is absolutely nothing. But I'll go you one better and come along.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "That's over 16,000 kilometers. - D'oh!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Are we in India yet? - No. - Oh, wait... now we are.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "How can it be the same movie if they've changed my character from a tightly wound convenience-store clerk to a jittery Eskimo firefighter?", "c": ["James Woods"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Why, you damn, frickin', no good mother-- [Beeping] cheese! No, not you. I'm just talkin' to my oven.", "c": ["James Woods"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Oh, great. Christians.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "This isn't very convenient. - Must you dump on everything we do?", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "You may ask me three questions. - That's great, because all I need is one. - Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart? - Yes. - Really? - Yes. - You? - Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you.", "c": ["Kwik-E-Mart President", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Is he really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart? - [Angry Groan]", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Do you mind? I'm not in the mood.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another... until you just wish Flanders was dead.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "I have learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. It was horrible, I tell you. By the end, I thought I was a hummingbird of some kind.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "In a few minutes I try to drink nectar out of Sanjay's head.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "In a few minutes I try to drink nectar out of Sanjay's head.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Hey, pal. I assure you. If I tried any funny stuff, you would be in hysterics.", "c": ["James Woods"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Well, Mr. Woods... your new song is gonna be number three with a bullet. - I-I'm not a singer.", "c": ["Robber", "James Woods"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "The searing kiss of hot lead. How I've missed you. I mean, I think I'm dying.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Well, you are a very lucky man, Apu. You see, the bullet ricocheted off another bullet that was lodged in your chest from a previous robbery.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "But as for me, I'm off to battle aliens on a faraway planet. - That sounds like a good movie. - Yes. Yes, a-a movie. Yes.", "c": ["James Woods", "Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 13, "et": "Homer And Apu"}, {"t": "Get to Matlock! Matlock!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "I give you the man who puts young people behind bars... Where they belong-- TV's Matlock!", "c": ["Dignitary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "swiped his pills... 'Take one every hour to prevent spastic heart convulsions.'", "c": ["Jasper", "Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Wait, that's my hand.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson. Stop. Your constant letters are becoming a nuisance. Stop. If you do not cease, I will be forced to pursue legal action. Stop. Signed, Boris Karloff. Hollywood, California.", "c": ["Lisa", "Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! ... D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in zeppelins, dropping coins on people.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Dad, we'd love to stay here and listen to your amusing 'antidotes,' but we have to take these coins to the mall and spend 'em!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "I just used it that morning to wash my turkey... which in those days was known as a 'walking bird.'", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Cranberries, 'injun eyes,' and yams stuffed with gunpowder.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called 'baseball.'", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "D'oh! [electrical buzzing and explosion from dangerous toy]", "c": ["Homer", "Maggie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "When I was young, toys were built to last. Look at this junk! It breaks the first time you take it out of the box.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "And look at these toy soldiers! They'll break the second I step on 'em. [proceeds to step on them]", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "[Rock Around the Clock performance followed by immediate booing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Hey, horse face! Get your ugly pie-hooks off that Summer Fun Set!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Look! Achy Breaky Stacy for $1.99! [Gasps] Live from the Improv Stacy's only 89 cents. [Both] Ew!", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Marge, that's what I bought it for. [proceeds to use missile launcher while driving]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "My skull is eggshell-thin.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood.", "c": ["Malibu Stacy doll"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "The president is a demi-crat!", "c": ["Malibu Stacy doll"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Hello? I can't unbuckle my seat belt. Hello?!", "c": ["Malibu Stacy doll"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Dad, I love you. But... you're a weird, sore-headed old crank, and nobody likes you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Holy smokes! That's it! From now on, I'm thinkin', actin' and lookin' young.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Oh! Ow! Ow! The bubbles are burning my tongue! Ow! Ooh. Water! Water!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "I wish they taught shopping in school!", "c": ["Malibu Stacy doll"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Don't ask me. I'm just a girl! [Giggles]", "c": ["Malibu Stacy doll"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "That they can never be anything more than vacuous ninnies whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "-Just what I was gonna say. - [Growls, Grunts]", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Look at me! I'm acting young! [proceeds to injure himself]", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "[Male Voice] My Spidey sense is tingling. Anybody call for a web-slinger?", "c": ["Celeste's doll"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Lisa said a dirty word!", "c": ["children"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Yeah. You made us march in that Gay Rights Parade.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "And we can't watch Fox, 'cause they own those chemical weapon plants in Syria.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream. Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!", "c": ["Marge", "Malibu Stacy doll"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!", "c": ["Malibu Stacy doll"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Aw, crap. There's a clog in the torso chute! Leroy! Get your ass in gear. Shut your hole.", "c": ["Factory workers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "The dream? To mass-market a fashion doll that was also edible.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Kids didn't much like the taste of dried onion meal, but they loved the doll.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Hello, Malibu Stacy collectors. I'll see you at StacyCon '94, at the San Diego Airport Hilton.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Hey, Jiggles! Grab a pad and back that gorgeous butt in here. Oh, you. Get away! Don't act like you don't like it.", "c": ["Executive", "Secretary"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get me a job! A real Malibu and see if Stacy can help invent me young-- Help!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Come in? Come in! Mayday! I'm losing your transmission! - I said, 'French fries!'", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "drive-thru worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Do we sell French... fries? I-- Why, it's Homer Simpson's daughter.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "You're quite good... at turning... me on. Um, you probably should ignore that.", "c": ["Smithers", "Computer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "All right! I've been waitin' nine years to get my Frisbee back.", "c": ["Random character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "My name is Stacy. But you can call me-- [Wolf Whistle]", "c": ["Malibu Stacy doll"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Well, that, and I was funneling profits to the Vietcong.", "c": ["Stacy Lavelle"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Five husbands: Ken, Johnny, Joe... Dr. Colossus, Steve Austin.", "c": ["Stacy Lavelle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "We need some more secret sauce! Put this mayonnaise in the sun.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Ever see a sandwich that could take a bite outta you? Look at the sandwich! It's gonna bite you!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "She'll have the wisdom of Gertrude Stein and the wit of Cathy Guisewite. The tenacity of Nina Totenberg and the common sense of Elizabeth Cady Stanton. And to top it off, the down-to-earth good looks of Eleanor Roosevelt.", "c": ["Stacy Lavelle"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "I'll bomb your house into the ground, missy!", "c": ["Joe (ex-husband)"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "You all have hideous hair! I mean, from a design point of view.", "c": ["Stacy Lavelle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Learn from a professional, kid. [Car door closing, tires screeching]", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "'Wendy Windbag'? 'Ugly Doris'? 'Hortense, the Mule-Faced Doll'?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "I can't stand this any longer. Somebody please pay attention to me! Hello! Pay attention to me. Look at me! I'm Bart, I'm Bart.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Well, you were right about the Berlin Wall.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Oh, and the president was arrested for murder. More on that tomorrow night. Or you can turn to another channel. Oh. Do not turn to another channel.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "The Good Lord lets us grow old for a reason. To gain the wisdom to find fault with everything he's made!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "And one more thing. I never once washed my hands. That's your policy, not mine.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "But she's got a new hat.", "c": ["Young girl"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Wait! Don't be fooled. She's just a regular Malibu Stacy with a stupid, cheap hat. She still embodies all the awful stereotypes she did before.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "You know, if we get through to just that one little girl... it'll all be worth it.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "Particularly if that little girl happens to pay $46,000 for that doll. What? Oh, nothing. Kudos to you, Lisa.", "c": ["Stacy Lavelle"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 14, "et": "Lisa Vs Malibu Stacy"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Two kids posing as an adult", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "I hate these Worker of the Week Award ceremonies. Who even cares anymore? Everyone that works here has already got one.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Except forrr-- [Footsteps Approaching] Hello. Well, today's the day for Homer J.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Union Rule 26. 'Every employee must win Worker of the Week at least once... regardless of gross incompetence, obesity or rank odor.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters... before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey... for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya. [Whispering] Hmm? What? Oh. And by that I mean, of course, it's time for the Worker of the Week Award.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "So, a round of applause for... this inanimate carbon rod.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Inanimate, huh? I'll show him inanimate! [Shouts]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Stupid carbon rod. It's all just a popularity contest.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Well, we respect you. [Lisa, Bart Laughing]", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Bart, I told you. Don't draw on your father's skull.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me. You stupid-- [Laughing] D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "The purpose of today's mission is truly, really electrifying. That's correct, Tom. The lion's share of this flight will be devoted... to the study of the effects of weightlessness on tiny screws.", "c": ["TV Anchors"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "in everything from watchmaking to watch repair.", "c": ["TV Anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "There's a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician and a statistician.", "c": ["TV Anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Make it stop! No, not another boring space launch. Change the channel! Change the channel! I can't! I can't!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! We've been beaten by 'A Connie Chung Christmas'!", "c": ["NASA Official"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Maybe we should finally tell them the big secret-- that all the chimps we sent into space came back superintelligent. No, I don't think we'll be telling them that.", "c": ["NASA Officials"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "[Chittering]", "c": ["Super-intelligent chimp"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Here are the most popular personalities on television or 'TV.'", "c": ["NASA Official"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Al, let's have sex! Uh, no, Peg.", "c": ["TV Characters"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Why, they're all a bunch of blue-collar slobs. People, that's who we need for our next astronaut.", "c": ["NASA Official"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Listen. I'm sick of your boring space launches. I'm just an ordinary, blue-collar slob, but I know what I likes on TV.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "And another thing, how come I can't get no Tang around here? Also-- Hold on a second. [Toilet Flushes]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Hello, is this President Clinton? Good! I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang, it'd be you. Shut up!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Be an astronaut? Sure. Well, welcome aboard. I think you'll find that this will win you the respect of your family and friends. [Gasps] Respect? Nooo! It was me! I made the crank call! I do it all the time! Check with the F.B.I.! I have a file! I have a file!", "c": ["Homer", "NASA Official", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "I'd like to present the new generation of NASA astronaut-- the average American.", "c": ["NASA Official"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Jim Wallace, Associated Press. Is this a joke? Well, far from it, Jim. One of these men will prove space travel is within the reach of the common man. Toby Hunter, Minneapolis Star. No, really, is this a joke?", "c": ["Reporters", "NASA Official"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "The only danger is... if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute. Statue of Liberty. That was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, and, Mr. Gumble, for the duration of the training, there'll be no more beer. What? Three whole weeks with only wine? I'll go crazy!", "c": ["NASA Official", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "What's the opposite of shame? Pride? No, not that far from shame. Less shame? Yeah.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "I went through a wide range of emotions. First I was nervous, then anxious, then wary... then apprehensive, then kind of sleepy... then worried and then concerned.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Since they made me stop drinking... I've regained my balance and diction. Observe. [Singing Tongue Twister]", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "There once was a man from Nantucket, who-- [Shouting, Groaning]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "[Popeye's Voice] I can't stands no more!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "I wager 400 quatloos on the newcomer.", "c": ["Kang or Kodos"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Race Banyon and Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon. Second comes right after first.", "c": ["NASA Official", "Buzz Aldrin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "I believe there is still a little something called the swimsuit competition. There's no swimsuit competition, Homer. You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing?", "c": ["Homer", "NASA Official"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, you've both worked very hard. And in a way, you're both winners. But in another more accurate way, Barney is the winner.", "c": ["NASA Official"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "'De fault'! Whoo-hoo! The two sweetest words in the English language. De fault, de fault, de--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Just like the time I could've met Mr. T. at the mall. The entire day, I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later.' And then when I got there, they told me he just left. And when I asked a mall guy if he would ever come back again... he said he didn't know.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Three, two, one. Make rocket go now.", "c": ["Mission Control"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, guys, look what I smuggled aboard. Homer, no! Huh? They'll clog the instruments! Careful. They're ruffled.", "c": ["Homer", "Race Banyon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Wow, former president James Taylor. How ya doin', fellas? With all due respect, Mr. Taylor... this isn't the best time for your unique brand of bittersweet folk rock.", "c": ["Homer", "James Taylor", "Buzz Aldrin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Listen, Aldrin. I'm not as laid-back as people think. Now here's the deal. I'm gonna play, and you're gonna float there and like it.", "c": ["James Taylor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "The Corair spacecraft has apparently been taken over-- conquered, if you will-- by a master race of giant space ants.", "c": ["News Anchor Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "The Corair spacecraft has apparently been taken over-- conquered, if you will-- by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen... or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: There is no stopping them. The ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality... I can be helpful in rounding up others... to toil in their underground sugar caves.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Ants, huh? We had quite a severe ant problem at the Vineyard this year. I had Art Garfunkle come by with his compressor... and we created a total vacuum outside the house... and we blew the ants out the front door. But I'm sure you high-tech NASA people could care less about our resort-town ways.", "c": ["James Taylor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Make hatch blow now.", "c": ["Race Banyon"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Well, this reporter was possibly a little hasty earlier... and would like to reaffirm his allegiance... to this country and its human president. It may not be perfect, but it's still the best government we have... for now.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson was the real hero here. He jury-rigged the door close using this. Hey, what is that? It's an inanimate carbon rod!", "c": ["Race Banyon", "Reporter"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Oh! They were just about to show some close-ups of the rod. Oh, stupid rod. I got gypped.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "How many people have seen... the ice caps and the deserts all at once... or the majesty of the northern lights from 100 hundred miles above? Yeah, maybe I do have the right-- What's that stuff? Anyway, thanks, Marge, Lisa.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "Bart, do you have something nice to say to your father? [Squeaking] Nah, he knows how I feel.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 15, "et": "Deep Space Homer"}, {"t": "The government calls it the army. But a more alarmist name would be: The Kill-bot Factory", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Warning: Tickets should not be taken internally. See? Because of me, now they have a warning.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer. 'Free wig with every purchase of large wig. Downtown Wig Center.'", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Why, you little-- Hmm. Free wig.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "[Imitating Marge] I love you, Homie. Mmm. I don't need her at all anymore.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "I did it. Second in line. And all I had to do was miss eight days of work.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "With the money you would have made working, you could've bought tickets from a scalper. In theory, yes. Jerk.", "c": ["Marge", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Give me, uh, 30,000 tickets. That'll be $950,000 please. Look, the thing about that is I only got $10 on me. Can I pay you the rest later?", "c": ["Man", "Ticket Seller"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "That was Bobby McFerrin's new one, 'I'm Worried, Need Money.'", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Ho-ho. Stupid sheep.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Ned Flanders. Oh, not Flanders. Anybody but Flanders.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Oh, golly. If that doesn't put the 'shaz' in 'shazam.' Oh, listen. What's the cash value of those tickets so I can report it on my income tax?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "[Homer joins in singing 'I've got two tickets to paradise' with increasing desperation]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Why am I such a loser? Why? Well, your father was a loser, and his father, and his father. It's genetic, man.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world's largest pizza, so we burnt down their city hall.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Yeah, they swore they'd get us back by spiking our water supply. But they didn't have the guts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Ohh, the walls are melting again. Personally I think I'm overdone.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "God, if you really are God...you'll get me tickets to that game. [Doorbell rings] Hidilly-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me?", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Why do you mock me, O Lord? Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Mmm. I know I shouldn't eat thee, but-- [Growling] Mmm. 'Sacrilicious.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and take his tickets? Ye-- No.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Well, get out the Crayolas and color me tickled pink.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Ooh, what's with the lead pipe? Were you gonna give my noggin a floggin'? Well, yeah. [Both laugh]", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Duck! I can't let the boys see me with you! Hey! Look, Homer's got one of those robot cars. One of those American robot cars.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in the hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Well, I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.", "c": ["Player"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "What the hell happened to my dogs? I want answers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "'Nacho, nacho man' 'I want to be a nacho man'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Stan, Stan, he's our boy. If he can't do it, no one... will.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "We won! We won, Flanders! We won! [kissing Ned] Losers! Losers! Kiss my big Springfield behind, Shelbyville!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Hey, somebody sign an autograph. Please, somebody. Sign an autograph? Hey, would you sign-- You fat, stupid jerks!", "c": ["Football Player"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "I used to party all night and sleep with lingerie models until Ned and his Bible group showed me that I could have more. Professional athletes-- always wantin' more.", "c": ["Stan Taylor", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Now I have four children. You will be called 'Scarface.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "What did he say? I don't know. Something about being gay.", "c": ["Crowd Members"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Dad and Ned Flanders friends? Heh. What's next? A's on Bart's report card? Hey!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "They don't call me Springfield Fats just because I'm morbidly obese.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Now you got a lawsuit on your hands. Just kidding.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Oh, don't you see? You do have a sin to confess. The sin of envy.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Sure didelly do. Over 230 channels locked out.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Good night, Daddy! Good night, Uncle Homer!", "c": ["Rod and Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Hey, I don't want no people in here with their 'evils of alcohol' rap.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "'And truly she was my friend Flicka.' [Sniffs] If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own butt!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Can't talk. See Flanders. Later sex.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Uh, yeah. A judge made me do that once too. Stupid lack of public urinals.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Oh, come on! We've been here for 15 minutes. Can't you see they're sucking the life out of us?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Ah, for some reason, Moe's always closed on Wednesdays.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Come on. Come on! Just give 'em the slop and let's get out of here. Oh, I can do it faster than that! Mmm, mmm. Mmm, mmm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Wow! Look at that enthusiasm! This is front-page material.", "c": ["Photographer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Oh, of course you'd say something like that, Marge. You've hated Ned for years. In fact, you wanted to bash his head in with a pipe. That was you!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "The Flanders are a bunch of geeks, man. The 'Flandereses' are not geeks!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Bart. It seems like every week something odd happens to the Simpsons. My advice is to ride it out, make an occasional smart-aleck quip, and by next week, we'll be back to where we started from, ready for another wacky adventure.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Bart. It seems like every week something odd happens to the Simpsons. My advice is to ride it out, make an occasional smart-aleck quip, and by next week, we'll be back to where we started from, ready for another wacky adventure.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "'Well, well, well' 'W-W-W-W-W-W-Well, well, well' You know something? He did say 'well' a lot.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Don't hog it all, smelly head! Go to hell, zit face! Give me that sugar!", "c": ["Rod and Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "If this were a more perfect world, we'd all be known as the Flimpsons.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Todd's got Zesty Italian in his eye. Okay. But at least let me take the boat out for one last spin. Oh, I don't know. Too late!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Oh, Lord, please give me the strength to endure Homer Simpson's friendship.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Hmm, your car. Boy, what are the odds, huh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Marge... I think I hate Ted Koppel. No, wait. I find him informative and witty. Night.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Marge... I think I hate Ted Koppel. No, wait. I find him informative and witty. Night.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Right. No reporters. No. I-- I-- I mean just the Flanders family.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Lies make Baby Jesus cry.", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Come on, Ned! Move this thing! I can't! It's a Geo!", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "I told you, Officer. I'm not hepped up on goofballs. Yeah, right. Ned Flanders. I never would have imagined.", "c": ["Ned", "Police Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "High as a kite, everybody! Goofballs! Yeah, where's your messiah now, Flanders?", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "[Homer's nose whistling during silent prayer]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Stop it! Breathe through your damn mouth!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Let's sacrifice him to our God! Come on. We did it all the time in the '30s.", "c": ["Church Member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "If everyone here were like Ned Flanders, there'd be no need for heaven. We'd already be there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Guess what, everyone! My Great-uncle Boris died and left us his old country house! There's only one catch. They say it's haunted. But I'm sure we can prove 'em wrong by spending the weekend there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "Hididilly-ho, neighbor! Get lost, Flanders. Okilly-dokilly.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 16, "et": "Homer Loves Flanders"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Hmm, underpants... Bowling ball. More underpants.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "We got a tip from a six-year-old that there's a dead Martian down there.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "And I'm going to the park to jam with the Little White Girls Blues Quartet.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Son, when you participate in sporting events... it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Push her down, Son.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God, no! [Panting, Struggling]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "I'm tired. I'm hungry. Can't we just buy a new house?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Amen, Ernie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "'Gomer upsets Sergeant Carter.' Oh, I'll never forget that episode.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Pyle! Shazam!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Hey, Clinton, get back to work. Make me.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Shove it, buddy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "I must destroy you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Then stop screaming so loud. Okay. [Quieter Screaming]", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "or a really stupid prize.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "KBBL is gonna give me something stupid.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Help! Help us! They stole our uniforms, guns and Tasers! Ooh, fry, piggy.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Criminals"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "A full-grown African elephant.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Well, all that money sounds mighty tempting, Marty... but I think I'm gonna have to go with the elephant.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "We don't have a damn elephant.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Stick it to the man.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Lisa's 'Stick it to the man' supporting Bart's elephant choice", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Or double-ply windows. They look just like regular windows... but they'll save us four percent on our heating bill.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "You all seem to be forgetting the most important thing... which is, that it's wrong to imprison an animal. Lisa, go to your room.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "We pay your principal $10,000 to pull down his pants... and keep 'em down for the rest of the school year.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "What if we use the 10,000 to surgically transform Skinner here... into a-- some kind of a lobster-like creature?", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Skinner's panicked 'That wasn't discussed with me' about the lobster transformation", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Where's my elephant? Where's my elephant?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "So, isn't that what we're all asking in our own lives? Where's my elephant? I know that's what I've been asking.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Well, hot dog, we have a 'wiener.'", "c": ["DJ-3000"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "DJ-3000's political commentary: 'Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again'", "c": ["DJ-3000"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "It looks like it could gore. [Chuckles] It does look like Al Gore.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Marge, I agree with you in theory. In theory, Communism works. In theory.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Homer observing 'Look, he thinks he's people'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Oh, everything's cruel according to you. Keeping him chained up in the backyard is cruel. Pulling on his tail is cruel. Yelling in his ears is cruel. Everything is cruel. So excuse me if I'm cruel!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Now I've had my head in an elephant, a hippo and a giant sloth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "That bird! He's killing the elephant! Stop him! No, Dad, he's grooming him. Grooming him, eh? Oh, Homer, there's a bird on your head. I know. He's grooming me.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Homer's satisfied 'Mm, elephant fresh' comment", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Thanks, bud. Appreciate it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Technically, it's for a giraffe, but I think I can let it out a little.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "You'll have to raise my allowance to about $1,000 a week. Then that's what I'll do, smart guy.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Your kid flew five feet. That counts as a ride. Two bucks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Hey, Ma, look at that pointy-hairded little girl.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "This reminds me of that fat man I used to ride to work.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Look at this, Marge. $58 and all of it profit! I'm the smartest businessman in the world. Stampy's food bill today was $300.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Marge, please, don't humiliate me in front of the money.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Well, that was under our old price structure. Under our new price structure... your bill comes to a total of $700.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Well, it is and it isn't, if you understand what I mean.", "c": ["Circus owner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "His boots are ivory. His hat is ivory. And I'm pretty sure that check is ivory.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Lisa, a guy who has lots of ivory is less likely to hurt Stampy... than a guy whose ivory supplies are low.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the Fox network", "c": ["Mr. Blackheart"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Then, if I know my geography, it's just 12 miles to Africa.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Oh, it's the four elephants of the Apocalypse. That's horsemen, Ned. Well, getting closer.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Look. It got Patty and Selma.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Patty and Selma tornado aftermath: 'I feel it all the way up my skirt' / 'Ditto'", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Wiggum. Yeah, right, buddy. Liquor store robbery, officer down. Sure. And I'm Edward G. Robinson. Waah!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Many of you requested to be transferred to another peanut factory.", "c": ["Peanut factory manager"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "A deer! A female deer. Son, you're okay! And you led us to the precious ivory.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Yes, of course I would. Who wouldn't like that, to be part of the music scene?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "First, I'll just reach in and pull my legs out. Now I'll pull my arms out with my face.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Ah, I'm alive! I'm alive! And I owe it all to this feisty feline. Dad, feline means cat. Elephant, honey. It's an elephant.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "On the other hand... who's to say what's right these days... what with all our modern ideas... and products?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "This is just what happened at the caramel factory.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "Well, animals are a lot like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life-- or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks.", "c": ["Wildlife refuge worker"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 17, "et": "Bart Gets An Elephant"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Lousy job. Nothing exciting ever happens.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "The job of industrial chimney sweep for a day! Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Hey, this isn't such a great prize. Oh, well, this may be a dirty job... but the big guys at the top work even harder.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Careful, Smithers! That sponge has corners, you know. I'll go find a spherical one.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Help, Smithers. I'm sinking. Life... flashing... before-- [Gurgling] eyes.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "You're fired! Dance! [Laughing]", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "It was I, you fools! The man you trusted isn't Wavy Gravy at all.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "And all this time, I've been smoking harmless tobacco.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Mr. Burns is dead! [Sobbing] Why do the good always die so young?", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Due to my hectic schedule and lethargic sperm...", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "When I pass on, you shall be buried alive with me. Oh. Goody.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "My vast, vast, vast fortune. Vast.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, get ourselves some snacks", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "I have nothing to offer you but my love. I specifically said 'no geeks.' But my mom says I'm cool.", "c": ["Martin", "Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Give me your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in! Oh, I like his energy. Put him on the callback list.", "c": ["Nelson", "Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "I don't know what 'phallocentric' means, but no girls!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "So much for Plan B.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Hello, Marge. I'm Lee Majors. Will you come away with me? Uh... sure. [Bionic Jumping Sound]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Hello, Mr.-- Kurns. I bad want... money now. Me sick.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Ooh, he card reads good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "The boot kicked Bart! It kicked him right in the butt!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.55, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Eggs have gotten quite a bad rap lately, you know, Smithers.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Oh, look. A bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction. I think it's a rock, sir. We'll see what the lab has to say about that.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "A creature of pure malevolence. He's the perfect one to suckle at my proverbial teat.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Today, sir? Why, it's Christmas Day. I was talking to him.", "c": ["Burns", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "We want to get the old people smell out before we move in. Dad, Mr. Burns hasn't passed away yet.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yeah. Let's push him down the steps. No!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "How come Bart gets to do that and I can't spend one night lurking in the bushes outside Chef Boyardee's house?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Bart, I know you children see me as some sort of 'booger man'... but, uh, I'm really not such a bad... dude.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Whoa! [Muffled Grunting] Oh, sorry. Wrong button.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "It's made from hooves, you know.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Hey, it's Krusty the Pizza Man! All right. Where's my 400 bucks?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "How can you be here when your show's on live? Ah, I just threw on an old rerun. No one will know the difference.", "c": ["Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "The Falkland Islands have just been invaded. I repeat, the Falklands have just been invaded!", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "I got the idea from that movie, Sliver. What a delightful romp.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Are you talking to me? There's no one else here. You must be talking to me.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Oh, that explains his mysterious trip to Holland.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Mr. Burns's house has everything-- a hedge maze, a moat, bleached hardwood floors and a bottomless pit.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "It couldn't possibly be bottomless. For all intents and purposes.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Mr. Burns throws peas at Smithers. Ow! That was a big one!", "c": ["Bart", "Smithers"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Oh, yuck. Meat loaf. My most hated of all loafs.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "That was the end piece! That's it! Being abusive to your family is one thing... but I will not stand idly by and watch you feed a hungry dog!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Mr. Burns nurtures my destructive side. I'm suffocating here.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Oh, go eat some flowers! [Screams] My secret shame.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees... or dogs with bees in their mouth, and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Oh, for gosh-- Can't you people solve these problems yourselves? I mean, we can't be 'policing' the whole city.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Why don't I drink out of a toilet bowl?", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "I've argued in front of every judge in the state, often as a lawyer.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Uh, Judge, these won't be ready until Thursday. You know, we should really stop hiring him.", "c": ["Court clerk"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "My parents use that old love excuse to screw me out of toys.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Five, 23, skidoo. Hut, hut!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Oh, pish-posh. There's a Jaws Of Life in the trunk.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "I'm the one who successfully deprogrammed Jane Fonda, you know. What about Peter Fonda? Oh, that was a heartbreaker.", "c": ["Deprogrammer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "But I did get Paul McCartney out of Wings. You idiot! He was the most talented one!", "c": ["Deprogrammer", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Homer, that's Hans Moleman. Can I keep him anyway? Huh? Huh?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Homer mistakes Hans Moleman for Bart after deprogramming", "c": ["Homer", "Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "That was delightful. Did you see that? That mouse butchered that cat like a hog!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "I'm afraid your family doesn't want you back.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Is he supposed to have some kind of neurological impairment... like Rain Man or Awakenings?", "c": ["Actor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "And this dialogue has none of the wit and sparkle of Murphy Brown.", "c": ["Actor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Oh! That rib always breaks.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Just trying to fill the void of random, meaningless destruction... that Bart's absence has left in our hearts.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "If you can tell me why I shouldn't fire you without using the letter 'E'... you can keep your job.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "The fabulous toys, a lifetime of wealth and luxury... the gift certificate from Blockbuster Video... the freedom to do whatever you want.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Because one of them hung out with me for a week, trying to get my character down. Yeah, me too. That midget taught me a lot about his native Estonia.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Cowabunga, dudes.", "c": ["Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "Give it a try. It's like kissing a peanut.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 18, "et": "Burns Heir"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Mom, you're always trying to give me potatoes. What is it with you? - I just think they're neat.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Bart, that's a bran muffin!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Greetings, fellow geode-ologist.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "What has four legs and ticks? - A walking clock? - A walking clock! I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box.", "c": ["Bart", "Student", "Martin"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "My raisin roundies!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "You're doing it wrong! You gotta pet him hard so he can feel it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Ha! It thinks it's people.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "More testicles mean more iron.", "c": ["Lunch Lady Doris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "He was going to the bathroom.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "I mean, it sounds so made-up. 'Yom Kip Pur.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "What? Have you gone waxy in your 'beester'? I cannot fit in the wee vent, ya croquet-playin' mint muncher!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Grease yourself up and go in, you-- you guff-speaking work slacker. - Ooh, good comeback.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Then grease me up, woman! - Okeydokey.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie", "Lunch Lady Doris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "'Tis more dizzyin' than the belfry at St. Corgegluynwaagen's.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children!", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Why, looking into this loveable mutt's eyes just melts my heart. Seymour, all is forgiven.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Make way for Willie! I said make way for Willie, ya bloated gasbag! - Seymour. - Hmm? - You're fired!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie", "Superintendent Chalmers", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "I said make way for Willie, ya bloated gasbag!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Did-- Did you just call me a liar? - No. I said you were fired. - Oh. That's much worse.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "I thought I'd be jumping for joy the day Skinner left... but now all I have is this weird, hot feeling in the back of my head. - That's guilt.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "All right, you little punks. Prick up your freakin' ears... because I'm only gonna be saying this once.", "c": ["Leopold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "with your new principal, Ned Flanders.", "c": ["Leopold"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Well, tippity-top o' the a.m. to every-good-body here. As chairman of the P.T.A., I am de-didilly-lighted to take over... and I think I can put the 'pal' back in principal.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Yeah, and I'll put the 'super' back in superintendent. - [Someone Coughs] - It's the same exact joke. What gives, Leo?", "c": ["Leopold", "Student"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Well, let me just say I want to put the 'stu' back in students.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "I call it Billy and the Clone-osaurus.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through? ...on the best-seller list for 18 months! Every magazine cover had it! ...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking? I mean, thank you. Come again.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry. Were you drinking Slice or Yoo-hoo?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Well, these new Italian loafers will make short work of it.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "We got Skinner's underpants! And there's nothing you can do about it, Mr. Ex-principal. - That's not true. I can buy a new pair. - No, I can't. I needed those. I really did.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "I was trying to get Joey Heatherton to put on some pants, for God's sake!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Ned Flanders actually eliminated detention... and put the whole school on the honor system? - Yeah. The teachers are afraid to leave the faculty lounge.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "but they might have been saying 'skim milk.' - Yeah, yeah.", "c": ["Bart", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Mr. Kookalamanza and-a some real ugly kid.", "c": ["Luigi's Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Not only am I not learnin'... I'm forgettin' stuff I used to know.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "My water dish is empty!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Uh, they don't have them group toilets here no more, do they?", "c": ["Army Recruit"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Oh, man! Ned spilled ink all over my poems! He's a real flat tire. I mean a cube, man. He's putting us on the train to Squaresville, Mona.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "I don't know, but I've been told - The Parthenon is mighty old - How old - We don't know - That's real good but needs improvement", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Army Recruits"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Sherlock Holmes had his Dr. Moriarty. Mountain Dew has its Mello Yello. Even Maggie has that baby with the one eyebrow.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Sixteen brand-new gas pumps! At last we can compete with the Gas-N-Gulp.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Up yours, Sergeant! - Actually, it's exactly as I remembered it.", "c": ["Army Recruit", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "Just make a pass at your commanding officer. - Done and done. And I mean done.", "c": ["Homer", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "A prayer! A prayer in a public school! God has no place within these walls... just like facts have no place within organized religion!", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "You really think it's a good idea to give that freak his job back?", "c": ["Leopold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "You really think it's a good idea to give that freak his job back?", "c": ["Leopold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 19, "et": "Sweet Seymour Skinners Baadasssss Song"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Oh! How can they imprison kids in school on a beautiful day like this?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Prison bus, Otto? - The regular school bus broke down. So take a seat before I blow your heads off! - Otto! - Oh, sorry. This bus and I have sort of a Shining thing going on.", "c": ["Bart", "Otto"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Hey, Huck, what's L-I-N-C-O-N doing here? I don't know. It's your fantasy. - Hi, Abe. - Hello, Bart.", "c": ["Bart", "Huck Finn", "Abraham Lincoln"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Well, children, our new ultra-hard Posturific chairs have arrived. They've been designed by eminent posturologists... to eliminate slouching by the year 3000.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "I know they seem a little uncomfortable right now. But eventually your bones will change shape. I've lost all feeling in the left side of my body.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel", "Student"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Now, unfortunately our school clocks have been running fast all semester... so today we all have to stay two extra hours to make up for the time we lost.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "And to think I got all this after dropping out of the fourth grade.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "That's okay, Bart. I trust you.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Please excuse my handwriting. I busted whichever hand it is I write with. Signed, Mrs. Simpson.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Inconclusive. I wish more students had agreed to these electronic tracking implants. We only had one volunteer.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Spill it! Where's your brother? You'd better answer him, Lisa. He's a good cop/bad cop routine gone wrong", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Groundskeeper Willie", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "My fantasy's come true!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Hey, kid. You wanna see a dead body?", "c": ["Unknown adult"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "If I were a truant boy out for a good time, I'd be right here-- the Springfield Natural History Museum.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Look, if I was under 17, I'd be in school, right? Yeah, I guess you're right. Enjoy Boob-A-Rama, sir.", "c": ["Bart", "Theater employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Why, there are no children here at the 4-H Club either. Am I so out of touch? No. It's the children who are wrong.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Yes. Were there any serious bids for this painting?", "c": ["Auctioneer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Can't let Dad see me playing hooky! Can't let the boy see me skippin' work. Good afternoon. How do you do, sir? Sucker!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "A spoor! His brand of gum, Doublemint. Trying to double your fun, eh, Bart? Well, I'll double your detention.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "I wish someone was around to hear that.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "And so we enter endgame.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! He is like some sort of... non-giving up... school guy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Oh, he's close. I can taste his fear.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Freddy, honey. I think something just dropped into the backseat. I'm not paying you to talk.", "c": ["Woman", "Freddy Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "People, the punch has been spiked. That's my nephew... displaying the Quimby wit that's won the public's heart.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Freddy Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Happy birthday, Freddy. And may all your disgraces be, uh, private.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "And who are you, little boy? I'm one of your nephews you don't see very often, uh, Bart-Bart.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Hey, McBain, I'm a big fan, but your last movie really sucked. I know. There were script problems from day one. Yeah, I'll say. Magic ticket my ass, McBain.", "c": ["Bart", "McBain"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Maria, my mighty heart is breaking. I'll be in the Humvee.", "c": ["McBain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Hey, what the hell is this? It is a bowl of 'shao-dair,' sir. Wait a minute. Come here. What did you call it? Say it loud enough so everyone can hear. Come on. Say it.", "c": ["Freddy Quimby", "French waiter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "'Shao-dair'? 'Shao-dair'? It's 'chowdah.' Say it right! 'Shah-der.' Come back here! I'm not through demeaning you!", "c": ["Freddy Quimby", "French waiter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Wow! This is the biggest Rice Krispy square I've ever seen. Boy, the rich sure know how to live.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Someone's taken a bite out of the big Rice Krispy square! Oh, yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.", "c": ["Party guest"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "It says Freddy Quimby beat a waiter half to death. Those Quimby children are so wild and rich. I hope he finally gets what's coming to him.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "But Freddy Quimby's innocent! How do you know? There weren't any witnesses. Oh, yeah. Right. You'd think someone would've seen something at a crowded party like that. Well, they didn't, okay? They didn't!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Oh, look, Charlie Brown said, 'Good grief.' I didn't see that comin'.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Lisa, I gotta tell somebody. I was at the Quimby compound yesterday when that frog waiter got whacked. I know that Freddy Quimby is innocent.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Bart Simpson, I know you cut school yesterday. And as soon as I can prove it, I'm shipping you off... to the Christian Military Reform School.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Well, if Freddy Quimby didn't do it... I'm sure he'll be found innocent by a fair and impartial jury. Oh, jury duty! I'll see that Quimby kid hang for this!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "I knew it was a bad idea to watch him open the mail.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Behind these doors, a federal judge will ladle out steaming bowls... of rich, creamy justice in a case the media have dubbed... 'Beat-up Waiter.' This reporter suggested 'Waitergate,' but was shouted down at the press club.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just a little reminder-- if I find out you cut class... your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Meow meow meow meow Meow meow meow meow", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "That waiter, Mr. LaCoste, not only wasn't born in Springfield... he wasn't even born in this country!", "c": ["Defense attorney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Uh, Freddy Quimby was with me the entire... night in question. We were collecting canned goods for the starving people in... uh, you know, one of them loser countries.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Oh, good. My laundry is done. You see, Lisa? They don't need my testimony. Only because Mayor Quimby is buying his nephew's freedom. The system works. Just ask Claus von Bulow.", "c": ["Juror", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to prove to you not only that Freddy Quimby is guilty... but that he is also innocent of not being guilty.", "c": ["Prosecutor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Well, only one in two million people has... what we call the 'evil gene.' Hitler had it. Walt Disney had it. And Freddy Quimby has it.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "You rest your case? What? Oh, no. I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed.", "c": ["Prosecutor", "Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "He's wealthy, therefore, inherently good.", "c": ["Court observer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Well, therefore, you certainly would never lose your temper... over something as trivial as the pronunciation of 'chowder.' That's 'chowdah!' 'Chowdah!' I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you! Especially those of you in the jury!", "c": ["Defense attorney", "Freddy Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Wow, that didn't go well. The defense rests.", "c": ["Defense attorney"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "This won't take long. He's clearly guilty. We'll probably be home by dinnertime. Good. Tonight, the dog from Frasier is gonna ride the dolphin on Sea Quest.", "c": ["Juror", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Well, Bart, because of you... a horrible yet innocent person is going to jail.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Bart Simpson, for the heinous crime of hooky... I sentence you to a lifetime of hard labor in the cafeteria. More creamed corn, Jimbo Jr.? This creamed corn tastes like creamed crap. Watch the potty mouth, honey.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Bart", "Jimbo Jr.", "Lunch lady"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "I just wanted to say how great it is... to finally see some chicks on the bench. Keep up the good work, toots.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Chicks on the bench.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "What does 'sequestered' mean? If the jury is deadlocked, they are put in a hotel together... so they can't communicate with the outside world. What does 'deadlocked' mean? It's when the jury can't agree on a verdict. Uh-huh. And 'if'? A conjunction meaning 'in the event that' or 'on condition that.'", "c": ["Homer", "Other jurors"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "So if we don't all vote the same way... we'll be deadlocked... and have to be sequestered... in the Springfield Palace Hotel. That's not gonna happen, Homer. Let's vote. My liver is failing.", "c": ["Homer", "Other juror"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Where we'll get: a free room, free food, free swimming pool... free HBO-- Ooh! Free Willy! Justice is not a frivolous thing, Simpson. It has little, if anything, to do with a disobedient whale.", "c": ["Homer", "Other juror"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "How many S's in 'innocent'? I'm only doing what I think is right. I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "You know, we're kind of like the original Odd Couple. You're the messy one, and I'm-- Shut up! Oh, yes. Very well.", "c": ["Homer", "Roommate"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "So, Bart... have your insides been gnawed away by guilt yet? Sell it to Hallmark, Sis. You're looking at cucumber boy. As in, 'cool as a.'", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "You gotta tell him what you saw, Billy. But I'm so scared, McGarnigal. You gotta do this one for me, Billy. McGarnigal. Okay. For you, McGarnigal. Well, McGarnigal, Billy is dead! They slit his throat from ear to ear.", "c": ["TV show characters"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm trying to eat lunch here.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Jump, Free Willy! Jump. Jump with all your might. Oh, no. Willy didn't make it! And he crushed our boy! Ugh! What a mess. Oh! I don't like this new director's cut.", "c": ["Homer", "TV voices"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "You're stealing a table? I'm not stealin' it. Hotels expect you to take a few things. It's a souvenir. Ah. Is that my necktie you're wearing? Souvenir.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Mom, what if there's a really bad, crummy guy... who's going to jail, but I know he's innocent. Well, Bart, your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying... 'Shoot 'em all, and let God sort 'em out.' Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now, let's never speak of him again.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head... like a certain uncle did one gray December morn.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Even though reopening a trial at this point... is illegal and grossly unconstitutional... I just can't say no to kids.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "This is an outrage! I am not a clumsy Clouseau-esque waiter! I will-- Whoa! Whoo! Whoo! Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow! At least there were no big ones.", "c": ["French waiter"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Bart, I'm impressed with what you did in there. You testified for the Quimby boy, even though it was putting your own head in a noose. On the other hand, you skipped school. I guess the two things cancel each other out, huh. I'm a small man in some ways, Bart. A small, petty man. Three months detention.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, Bart. Make that... four months detention.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Well, Marge, it was horrible. Everyone was against me in that jury room. But I stood by the courage of my convictions, and I prevailed. And that's why we had Chinese food for lunch.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "Give me those! And those.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 20, "et": "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Please, Krusty, this is very demeaning. / Shut up and conduct!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "What? It's not 'Magaggie's' birthday?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop it! I made a special cake for you to ruin.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hello, everyone, except Homer.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Marge, I think that's your father-in-law across the street.", "c": ["Patty/Selma", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "We didn't invite other babies. Maggie doesn't seem to get along with the other babies.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Put some Lister's Carbolic Unguent on a wad of cotton... That'll stop them shakes.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "No, no. What she needs is a balsam specific... While we're burning money, why don't we give her a curative galvanic belt too?", "c": ["Jacqueline Bouvier", "Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Don't forget to give her Smeckler's Powder. / Don't make fun.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "Jacqueline Bouvier"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Oh! That was a real horn-honker!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs... What kinds of kids eat Armour hot dogs... Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks...", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Doesn't this family know any songs that aren't commercials?", "c": ["Jacqueline Bouvier"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "He's on in five minutes! / Step on it! / Each Matlock could be our last.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "That is funny.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Homer, would you please stop reading that Ross Perot pamphlet?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "That's not my mother. / I'll be back in a jiffy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Oh, it's not a swindle. What you do is, see, you give them all your credit card numbers, and if one of them is lucky, they'll send you a prize.", "c": ["Jacqueline Bouvier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "I was just happy to talk to someone on the phone.", "c": ["Jacqueline Bouvier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "And here's a picture of me getting arrested for indecent exposure. It was the most embarrassing day of my life.", "c": ["Jacqueline Bouvier"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Oh, who were your friends? / Oh, Zelda Fitzgerald, Frances Farmer and little Sylvia Plath.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "Jacqueline Bouvier"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "You remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "I'm in love! No, wait, it's a stroke. No, wait, it is love!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such films as The Boatjacking of Supership 79 and Hydro: The Man With the Hydraulic Arms.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Yeah, 'groovy.'", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Uh, do you accept the 'Federal Breast Inspector's' card? 'License to Ogle'? 'Vyza'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, of course. That's what I meant, 'Visa.' It's these new dentures.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Well, I'm opposed to the whole thing-- damn opposed! / He's damn opposed. Damn, damn, damn opposed.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "If he marries your mother, Marge, we'll be brother and sister! And then our kids, they'll be horrible freaks with pink skin, no overbites and five fingers on each hand!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Tell her I love her! / Grampa, shh! I know my mother. If you come on too strong, she's going to get scared away. / I love ya. / What? / Uh, I love ya, Mom.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "Marge", "Jacqueline Bouvier"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "I love ya. / What? / Uh, I love ya, Mom. / I love ya. I love ya. / I love ya. I love ya. / I love ya, Mom. Gotta go.", "c": ["Grampa", "Jacqueline", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Oh! That is so cool! That is so exciting! That is so-- / Crappy.", "c": ["Lisa", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "$350.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hot diggity! I'm gonna smooch her like a mule eating an apple!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Now what's that rule? / Play it cool.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "This-- This is an arm drawn by nobody. It is worth nothing.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Can't you give me anything for it? / I can give you this telephone. It is shaped like Mary Worth.", "c": ["Bart", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hey!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "That big ape thinks he can muscle in on my girl, does he? I'll show him. I'm gonna give him the frowning of a lifetime.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "I-- Who told you? / Oh, yes, yes, well. I'd say you were an angel, but angels don't dance like that.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Jacqueline Bouvier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, I represent the estate of Jimmy Durante. I have a court order demanding an immediate halt to this unauthorized imitation-- Boys!", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Well, would it be all right with you if I just laid down in the street and died? / Yes, that would be acceptable.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "Lawyer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "130-- But only one since I've become a billionaire.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Whoop-dee-do, sir. / Yes, whoop-dee-do. Whoop-dee-do to the world! Whoop-dee-do, Mr. Florist. Whoop-dee-do, Mr. Physical Trainer. Whoop-dee-do, Mr. President.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Whoop-dee-do to the world! Whoop-dee-do, Mr. Florist. Whoop-dee-do, Mr. Physical Trainer. Whoop-dee-do, Mr. President.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Everyone who's found true love may leave early today. / All right!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Workers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "I... sent it to you on your birthday.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Why it's Fred Flintstone and his lovely wife, Wilma. Oh, and this must be little Pebbles. / Yabba dabba do!", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Mind if I come in? I brought chocolates. / Yabba dabba do!", "c": ["Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "That's right, 'Money.' Your 'money's' happiness is all that 'moneys.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hi. You know, Grandma really likes it when her boyfriends are nice to me. She especially likes it when they give me money.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Run along, peewee. Baby gets nothing. / Very well, you leave me no choice. This gun is filled with ketchup. This one with mustard. Now give me $350 bucks or you're gonna be a mess for your date.", "c": ["Burns", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Run along, peewee. Baby gets nothing. / Very well, you leave me no choice. This gun is filled with ketchup. This one with mustard. Now give me $350 bucks or you're gonna be a mess for your date.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "You don't have the guts.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Here. Take your money. Take it. / Now, the tables have turned, haven't they?", "c": ["Burns", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Better call the nurse.", "c": ["Old person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! $350. Now, I can buy 70 transcripts of Nightline.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hey, Bart. You wanna go play with that X-ray machine in the abandoned hospital?", "c": ["Phone caller", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Oh! Mom, you can't marry Mr. Burns. He's an evil man. / Evil, schmevil, Marge. Monty can provide for me.", "c": ["Marge", "Jacqueline Bouvier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "But compared to Mr. Burns, he's Judge freaking Reinhold.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "'La-tex Con-dom.' Boy, I'd like to live in one of those!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hey! Down in front! / Nein!", "c": ["Wedding guest", "German person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Yeah, but his reply envelope just had a check to the gas company in it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "We've heard enough about Bliz-blaz and Him-ham already. Get to the bloody point!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "The ring, you little imbecile, before I really lose my temper.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Honey, are you sure you wanna be Mrs. Montgomery Burns? Wouldn't you rather be Mrs. Abraham J. Simpson? / No. / I don't wanna be either.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "Jacqueline Bouvier"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hot diggity damn! That's good enough for me!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Hello, Grampa, my old friend / Your busy day is at an end / Your exploits have been sad and boring / They tell a tale that's worth ignoring", "c": ["Paul Anka"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Oh, it was a fine machine with a vulcanized rubber listening tube which you crammed in your ear. The tube would go in easier with some sort of lubricant like linseed oil or Dr. Shumway's--", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 21, "et": "Lady Bouviers Lover"}, {"t": "Don't try to eat these so-called 'chips.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Uh, I mean, whoo-hoo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "You have a straight flush, Homer. G'oh! You do this every time, ya-- Oh, you--", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Chokin' on my own rage, here.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer, you still here? Boy, you are slow.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "'a little slow'! [Laughing Loudly]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Marge and Lisa's non-verbal response to Homer's question", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "How come you're not laughing? Do you think I'm slow? - Buh. - Snuh.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "It's those TV networks, Marge. They won't let me--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "But they won't! They won't let me live! [Sobbing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Take another bath in malt liquor?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "That's because you were drunk! - And how.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "At this point I'd like to remind you there are no refunds.", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "You see, that ping sound means the spit was on target.", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "I can tell the difference between butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "No, you can't, Mr. Simpson. No one can.", "c": ["Administrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "That depends. Is there another way to get this job?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Anything to get me out of that house... away from all that nagging and noise... uh, of a family of love. 'Sha-la-la-la'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Ah, incorrect, Marge-- two perfectly good jackets.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Yes, Lisa. Daddy's a teacher.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Sir, it's a felony to tease the order box.", "c": ["Drive-thru worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "It's all right. I'm a teacher!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "I didn't know we could do that.", "c": ["Other driver"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Down the hall, Room 12. - [Mouth Full] Thank you. Ew. Okay. Let's get started.", "c": ["Homer", "Lost Student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yeah! That'll eat up some time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Whoa. You think you got 'em all, but you forget about the eggs.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "[Crushes Insect] Whoa. You think you got 'em all, but you forget about the eggs.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "[Whispering] [Giggling] Okay. Here's a set of house keys and my A.T.M. card.", "c": ["Female Student", "Male Student"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Smithers' romantic fantasy about Mr. Burns", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "If I wanted to see a man eat an orange, I would have taken the orange-eating class.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Oh, I told Marge this wouldn't work the other night in bed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "So somethin' wasn't workin' in bed, huh? Heh, heh, heh. - No, that's not what I meant.", "c": ["Student", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "She's been as gray as a mule since she was 17.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Wait! I need closure on that anecdote.", "c": ["Drive-through speaker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Nah, nah, nah. You got it wrong, 'Pu. She's blue 56.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "And I'm not out of order. You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Forget it, Marge. It's Chinatown!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Webster's Dictionary describes a wedding as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "I can't believe I paid $10,000 for this course.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "I can't believe I paid $10,000 for this course. - What the heck was that lab fee for?", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "So, anyway, Mr. 'X' would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running... my name isn't Homer J. Simpson.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "They're going to observe the human peep show that is our lives.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Me and Milhouse took some mail from a mail truck and threw it down the sewer.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "You're the one who double-dared us.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer. Why don't you just nibble her elbow? That always melts her butter, right? Heh, heh, heh.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer. Why don't you just nibble her elbow? That always melts her butter, right? Heh, heh, heh.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "For tomorrow, you should read pages seven through 18 in Lisa's diary.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Is any of this gonna be on the test? 'Cause I wasn't payin' attention.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Ah, Marge is throwin' me out for blabbin' about her elbow thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Lisa's ball of string in the attic", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Don't mind me, boys. Just scrubbin' my undies. - Sorry, Bart. Your dad kinda blew the fantasy.", "c": ["Homer", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Without a strong male presence in the house, you could turn sissy overnight.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Technically, we're not allowed to go to the bathroom.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "[Homer's Voice] I love you. Will you marry me, Marge? You mean, I'm gonna be a daddy? I hope we'll always be together, together, together--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "I've created a replacement that's superior to her in almost every way.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Dad, that's just a plant. - Lisa! You will respect your new mother. Now, give her a kiss.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Ah, your flesh mother used to bring me pudding.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding-- [Continues rapidly]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "I heard you and Homer broke up, so I'm declarin' my intentions to move in on his territory. Here, I, uh, brung ya some posies.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "I come here, I get dressed up all nice-like... put my heart on the line, and I make a fool of myself.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "I didn't ask her for no water. She's lyin', Homer. She told me you were dead. That's the only reason I-- I didn't do nothin'!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "She told me you were dead. That's the only reason I-- I didn't do nothin'!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Oh. My tattered rags... are caught on your coffee table.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "I know now what I can offer you that no one else can: complete and utter dependence.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "complete and utter dependence. - Homer, that's not a good thing. - Are you kidding? It's a wondrous, marvelous thing.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "We've been separated for a day, and I'm as dirty as a Frenchman.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Wait till my class hears about this. Kidding!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Hey, this is dated two weeks ago. - Oh. Sorry. Here's a fresh one.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 5, "e": 22, "et": "Secrets Of A Successful Marriage"}, {"t": "Well, you're certainly doing your job today, Mr. Sun.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I hardly think it's fair to be charged full price. I'm up to my knees in the original cast of M*A*S*H.", "c": ["Unknown patron"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Homer, my hat goes off to you. - It's cool in here, boy.", "c": ["Unknown", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "For the rest of the summer, we can live inside the refrigerator.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I got the idea when I noticed the refrigerator was cold.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Marge, can you set the oven to cold?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I'm all out of ice cream! It's true, you know. Ice cream! Ice cream! Fresh out of ice cream!", "c": ["Ice cream vendor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Chili! Red-hot, Texas-style chili! And we got ginger ale. Boiling hot, Texas-style ginger ale!", "c": ["Chili vendor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Face it, Bart. Our salvation isn't gonna roll by on the back of some stupid truck.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Pool-mobile? Pool-mobile?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Look, Lis, I snatched five bathing suits. All Martin's.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Take your best shot. I'm wearing 17 layers.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I'm gonna stow away underwater and go where the pool goes. Have a good life.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "No way, man. One day of summer's all we're budgeted for.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I guess it is kind of a tease.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Over here we have the Hick Tub, the Insta-Rust. That's the Lightning Magnet. That's the Tinkler.", "c": ["Pool salesman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "The Tinkler. I like the sound of that. We'll take it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Is it true we should wait at least an hour after eating before we go in?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Look, question lady, this job is not what I really do, okay? I play keyboards.", "c": ["Pool salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Look, question lady, this job is not what I really do, okay? I play keyboards.", "c": ["Pool salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Is your pool ready yet?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Friends and well-wishers, yes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Hey, Bart! Your epidermis is showing!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "See, epidermis means your hair. So technically it's true. That's what makes it so funny.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, that leg's gonna have to come off.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Did I say leg? I meant that wet bathing suit.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Don't worry, boy. When you get a job like me, you'll miss every summer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Don't worry, boy. When you get a job like me, you'll miss every summer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Isn't it amazing, the same day you got a pool is the same day we realized we liked you?", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Faithful Milhouse. You'll spend the long, hot days by my side, won't you?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I think I lost my glasses in your pool. I better go in and find them. - But you're wearing your glasses. - No, I'm not.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "But you're wearing your glasses. - No, I'm not.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Oh, look. Bart's all alone. Maybe I should keep him company, at least for a little while.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Great. I get to spend the summer with my brain.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "What fun can you have in a pool anyway that you can't have in a bathtub with a garbage bag taped around your cast?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Hope you enjoyed that, kids, because Krusty's out of here for the summer. In the meantime, we'll be running classic Krusty. Enjoy!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Good evening. Tonight my guest is AFL-CIO Chairman George Meany...who will be discussing collective-bargaining agreements.", "c": ["Krusty (classic)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Lisa, the blob has got me! Don't touch me or it'll get you too!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Dad, you have to put chlorine in the water every day to keep it clean. - Chlorine, eh?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "My face is on fire!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I swear I don't know where the bombs are! Only the miners know that! Maybe this will loosen your tongue. No!", "c": ["Bart (as characters in his play)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Cast of characters: Viceroy Fizzlebottom, a hearty cherub of a man...", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Bart, it's the best thing that ever happened to me in my whole life!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "There was an Optics Festival and I wasn't informed? You go now.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "What have we here? 'The Lighter Side of Hippies.' They don't care whose toes they step on.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "They don't care whose toes they step on.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Do not be alarmed. Continue swimming naked.", "c": ["Bart (with binoculars)"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "All right, Lou, open fire.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Wow, the universe is so boring.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Wow, the universe is so boring.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I know. I'll use this to peer into Springfield's seamy underbelly.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! What have I done? I've killed her!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I wish there was some other explanation for this, but there isn't! I'm a murderer! I'm a murderer!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I'm a mur-diddly-erdiler!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "If that's not Flanders, he's done his homework.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "That's horrible...in principle.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "They're only using you for your pool, you know. - Shut up, brain. I got friends now. I don't need you anymore.", "c": ["Lisa's brain", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "My plan has come to fruition. Soon I'll be queen of summertime. Oh, king. King!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Listen, Ned Flanders murdered his wife! But why? She's such a fox. I mean, what's on Fox tonight? Something ribald, no doubt.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "But why? She's such a fox. I mean, what's on Fox tonight? Something ribald, no doubt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Kippers for breakfast, Aunt Helga? Is it Saint Swiven's Day already? 'Tis, replied Aunt Helga...", "c": ["Bart reading his play"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one. To choose from a list of felonies, press two.", "c": ["Police phone system"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "If you are being murdered or calling from a rotary phone...please stay on the line.", "c": ["Police phone system"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one.", "c": ["Police phone system"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "That's right. I was at Bible camp. I was learning how to be more judgmental.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "I over-watered Maude's favorite ficus plant...I panicked, and then I buried the remains.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 1, "et": "Bart Of Darkness"}, {"t": "As a matter of fact, my refrigerator wasn't running. You spared me quite a bit of spoilage. Thank you, anonymous young man.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "I'm gonna need a bigger drill.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "My, these seas are certainly heaving. Well, no more than your bountiful bosom, my lady.", "c": ["Romance novel characters on TV"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.34, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Lisa, stop blowing my sex. I mean, stop blowing your sax. Your sax. Stop it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Hey! Why, that sounds like Gabriel's trumpet. You know what that means, kids. Judgment Day!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "My cat's name is Mittens.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Ralph, this better not be about your cat.", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "I never made Miss Hoover 'yow-wee.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Are you hyperventilating? No. I just like to smell my lunch.", "c": ["Lisa", "Allison"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Out of the way, brain queen!", "c": ["School bully"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Me too. Me too.", "c": ["Lisa", "Allison"], "jt": ["escalation", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Jackknifed sugar truck! Sugar?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "If only the sugar were as sweet as you, sir.", "c": ["Truck driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "White gold! Texas tea! Sweetener.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Read your town charter, boy. If foodstuff should touch the ground, said foodstuff shall be turned over to the village idiot. Since I don't see him around, start shoveling!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "You could've been nicer to Principal Skinner, if you know what I mean. Lisa! I am nice.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "That's because I've loaded it with sugar! But the store sells sugar for 35 cents a pound. And it doesn't have nails and broken glass in it. Those are prizes.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "A blasting cap.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "My lute!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "That was a close one, Lisa, but you made it. I won first chair? No, you regained consciousness. Allison got first chair.", "c": ["Band teacher", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Oh, it was just a dream. That was a close one, Lisa, but you made it. I won first chair? No, you regained consciousness. Allison got first chair. And believe me, this is not a dream!", "c": ["Band teacher", "Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Hello! First born within earshot.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "I thought I had the tallest hair, but that trip to Graceland really opened my eyes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "You're thinking of bears, Mom.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot, Simpson, now I'm grounded.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "That used to be my face in the mud.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Unless it's from a rubber spider down your dress. That gives me an idea. Note for later: Put rubber spider down Lisa's dress.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Remember how I got Milhouse on America's Most Wanted? There he is on the monkey bars. Try to take him alive. Oh, no! Not again!", "c": ["Bart", "FBI agents", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Don't need it. You live in the room next to me. Note: Next year, order fewer cards.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "While you were out 'earning' that dollar, you lost 40 dollars by not going to work. The plant said if you don't come tomorrow, don't bother coming Monday. Four-day weekend!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "And now Avis Rent A Car is proud to present the second-best band in America. We welcome Garfunkel, Messina, Oates and Lisa, singing their number two hit, 'Born to Runner-Up.'", "c": ["Lisa's nightmare announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "But I did tip off the feds as to the whereabouts of our good friend Milhouse. But I'm telling you, I didn't do anything. I don't care.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse", "FBI agents"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Genuine class. Very good. Jeremy Irons. Jeremy's Iron. Well, that's very good for a first try.", "c": ["Professor Taylor", "Allison", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "You know, I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it.", "c": ["Allison"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "And, look, I used an old metronome to simulate the heartbeat that drove the killer insane. Neat, huh?", "c": ["Allison"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Must protect sugar. Thieves everywhere. The strong must protect the sweet. The sweet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "I nipped it when you let your guard down for that split second. And I'd do it again.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "I want it all. The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the blue noses with my cocky stride and musky odors.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Oh, they're defending themselves somehow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Is it okay? Well... The important thing is that we survived.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Then welcome to the nether regions of the soul.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Relatively? There's bound to be some splashback.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Enough with the hose!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Yes, a little too quiet if you know what I mean. I'm afraid I don't. You see, bees usually make a lot of noise. No noise suggests no bees.", "c": ["Beekeeper", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Very clever, Simpson. Luring our bees to your sugar and selling them back at an inflated price. Bees are on the what, now?", "c": ["Beekeeper", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Melting! Oh, what a world!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "It's clear now why God portions it out in those tiny packets and why he lives on a plantation in Hawaii.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Here's the grapes, and here's the wrath!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "I begged you to look at mine first. I begged you!", "c": ["Uter"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody! Whoa! Look at me! I'm over here! Turn this way right now! Hey, it's Bart! And he's doing stuff! Oh, I can't take my eyes off him. Look what he's doing.", "c": ["Bart", "Students"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "It's a cow's heart. Them trying to make a monkey out of you.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "It's the beating of that hideous heart! I mean, I think I hear something.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Little sterile. No real insight. What do you think, Miss Hoover? This has been a very disappointing day.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "Prepackaged Star Wars characters still in their display box? Are those limited edition figures? What's a diorama?", "c": ["Ralph", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "I bent my Wookiee.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "My cat's breath smells like cat food.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 2, "et": "Lisas Rival"}, {"t": "House run away? Dog's on fire?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "It's 9:30 p.m., and you spent your whole Saturday...drinking beer in Maggie's kiddie pool.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "We shouldn't have put a fireplace in the bedroom.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "How many times can you laugh at that cat getting hit by the moon?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Yes, and when was the last you heard anyone talk about Ren & Stimpy?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "...by giving in to their throbbing biological urges.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "She's faking it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney...homogenized and sold off piece by piece.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Phone call for Al. Al Coholic.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Homer Sexual! Mike Rotch! Amanda Huggenkiss! Hugh Jass. Ivana Tinkle.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt...and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Chocolate. Invisible cola. Forbidden donut. 'Sacrilicious.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "No, no. Homer is my ball's name. I'm Marge.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Call me Jacques.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Pick up Homer. Pick him up.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "My mind says stop, but my heart and my hips cry, 'Proceed!'", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "It's not quite breakfast or lunch...but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You don't get what you would at breakfast, but you get a good meal.", "c": ["Jacques"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Thank goodness I drove down that ironic street.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "So if you mentally snip out the part where I already had a husband...that's my idea of romance.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Ain't you never seen a naked chick riding a clam before?", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "I guess we'll be going down together. I mean, getting off togeth... I mean...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "I'll just push the button for the stimulator... I mean, elevator.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "All I'll use this bed for is sleeping, eating...and maybe building a little fort. That's it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Let's call room service!", "c": ["Mindy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Fly, my pretties. Fly!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Thanks for poisoning the planet, bastard! Get bent! No more Chernobyls! Go to hell!", "c": ["Environmental protesters"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "The cookie told me so.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "She hit the bottle hard and lost her job.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "You 'choo-choo-choose' me?", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of it.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Nothing gets chocolate out. See?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "What does that say? 'Talk to the audience'? Oh, God, this is always death.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "I love Lisa Simpson! And when I grow up, I'm going to marry her!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Now, you listen to me! I don't like you! I never liked you! The only reason I gave you that valentine...is because nobody else would!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 9.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "I have a boyfriend.", "c": ["Laura"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "There's a whole lot of frowning going on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Well, as Jerry Lee Lewis would say: 'There's a whole lot of frowning going on.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Soon I will kill you.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "That's not my mother.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "I really can't.", "c": ["Jacqueline"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "I can't remember when I've felt this young. / I really can't.", "c": ["Mrs. Bouvier"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "No need for the blown gasket, Charlie.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be either.", "c": ["Jacqueline"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "That seems more like a detached tale of modern alienation.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, learned it screws everybody up.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Soon, Cory, soon.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody about my busy hands.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "All right! All right! I'll walk in the mud!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "All right! All right! I'll walk in the mud!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "Once you stop this car, I'm gonna hug you and kiss you...and I'll never let you go.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 3, "et": "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}, {"t": "The violentest place on Earth", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Look at this Bible I just got, 15 bucks. And talk about a preachy book. Everybody's a sinner, except for this guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "We're going to the Highway 9 bird sanctuary. I understand they've installed a new bird feeder this year. It's shaped like a diner. And it's on this really tall pole.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Mom, Dad, Bart's dead! That's right. Dead serious about going to Itchy & Scratchy Land.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "over 100 bars and saloons... and a world-class chemical-dependency center", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Recipe-related bumper cars", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Hey, look, Marge. They're still not fighting back. I can be a jerk and no one can stop me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Suckers. Sharkboy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Lobster hat, fishnet Speedo Jr., wheelie shoes... invisible-dog leash. Well, I'm packed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "No. I ain't senile, dad blast it... Grampa's Little Helper? What's that? Which one of you is the mailman?", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I've got an ace up my sleeve.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "What's the matter with you? We don't have any fruits or vegetables in the car. The whole trunk's full of them, Marge.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Sign of evil number four... Continuing our sign-of-evil countdown, here's Vanessa Williams.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Trust me, Marge. With today's modern cars, you can't get lost. What with all the silicon chips and such.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "All right, we're here. Let us never speak of the shortcut again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "where nothing can possib-lie go wrong. Possibly go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong.", "c": ["Park announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Money that's made for the park. It works just like regular money, but it's fun.", "c": ["Park employee"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "we're always careful to show the consequences... of deadly mayhem so that we may educate as well as horrify.", "c": ["Park employee"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "that mouse pulled out the cat's lungs... and played them like a bagpipe. In the next scene, the cat's breathing comfortably. Just like in real life.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "I was just ordering a cheeseburger. They have violent names for everything here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "I'll have the baby guts. Lady, you disgust me.", "c": ["Marge", "Server"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Torture Land, Explosion Land... Searing Gas Pain Land, Unnecessary Surgery Land.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Hurry up or we'll have to wait for the 12:05 parade.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Wow, this is so much like my dreams, it's scary.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "See all that stuff in there, Homer? That's why your robot never worked.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Hey, the bartender even looks like John Travolta. Yeah, 'looks like.'", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Barclay, Barry, Bert... Bort? Come on. 'Bort'? Mommy, buy me a license plate. No. Come along, Bort. Are you talking to me? No. My son is also named Bort.", "c": ["Bart", "Mother", "Child"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "There's Disgruntled Goat, Uncle Ant, Ku Klux Klam.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. They weren't very funny. I don't know. Disgruntled Goat had his moments.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "It must be wonderful to ring in the new year over and over and over. Please kill me.", "c": ["Animatronic performer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "The babies look unhappy. Add more balls.", "c": ["Park employee"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "except in 1938, when he was criticized for his controversial cartoon... 'Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors.'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Now, you be a good Pinitchio, and don't you lie. I promise I will never hurt you.", "c": ["Pinitchio character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "I wonder if this kind of violence really does desensitize us. Wanna get a snow cone? Okay.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "I wonder if this kind of violence really does desensitize us. Wanna get a snow cone? Okay.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "I just wanted to entertain.", "c": ["Itchy robot"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "We need more Bort license plates in the gift shop. I repeat, we are sold out of Bort license plates.", "c": ["Park announcer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "I want all five T-shirts to say 'best vacation ever.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Attention, Marge Simpson. We've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.", "c": ["Park announcer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Elementary chaos theory tells us... that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok... in an orgy of blood and kicking and the biting with the metal teeth... and the hurting and shoving.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "According to my calculations, the robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours. Oh, I forgot to carry the one.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "How are you a political prisoner? I kicked a giant mouse in the butt. Do I have to draw you a diagram?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "My hair. You chopped off my hair. Oh, God, I'm ugly.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "I need the biggest seed bell you have. No, that's too big.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Hey, you're the guys who didn't like our capering. When you get to hell, tell them Itchy sent you.", "c": ["Robot Itchy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Back, you robot. Nobody ruins my family vacation but me. And maybe the boy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Dad, the flash must have scrambled their circuits. What are you, the narrator? Just keep taking pictures.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "With a dry, cool wit like that, I could be an action hero.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "But, Mom, it's exactly what you wanted in a vacation. It brought us together as a family, we got a lot of good exercise outdoors... and we have so many memories.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "It brought us together as a family, we got a lot of good exercise outdoors... and we have so many memories.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "This truly was the best vacation ever. Now, let us never speak of it again.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "There are five of us. Here are two free passes. That's better.", "c": ["Roger Meyers Jr.", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Man, if this is happening here... I hate to think what's happening in Euro-Itchy & Scratchy Land.", "c": ["Roger Meyers Jr."], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Hello. Itchy & Scratchy Land, open for business. Who are you to resist it, huh? Come on, my last paycheck bounced. My children need wine.", "c": ["European park employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "Who are you to resist it, huh? Come on, my last paycheck bounced. My children need wine.", "c": ["Euro park employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "But it would be funny to someone who was watching us. No, Mom. He's right. Observe.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 4, "et": "Itchy Amp Scratchy Land"}, {"t": "That Barlow's a right-wing crackpot. He said Ted Kennedy lacked integrity. Can you believe that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "I consider myself politically correct. His views make me uncomfortable.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "I usually think people who vote are a bit fruity. But for some reason, this Birch Barlow really speaks to me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "our six-term mayor... the illiterate, tax-cheating, pot-smoking spend-o-crat... Diamond Joe Quimby. Hey, I am no longer illiterate.", "c": ["Birch Barlow", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Well, I'm doing a school project on fireworks.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Bart, I wish you wouldn't lie like that.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "What a week. He promise a big firework display. Bad student. Bad principal.", "c": ["Chinese Principal"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "When I'm driving the car, I get to choose the radio station. When you're driving, we'll listen to your radio station.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "It's time people realized we conservatives aren't all Johnny Hatemongers... and Charlie Bible-Thumps or even, God forbid, George Bushes.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "I'll spare you the embarrassment of admitting you don't know who Bob is.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "I'm only 10, and I already got two mortal enemies.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Sleep. Sexy dames, and plenty of them. Matlock!", "c": ["Elderly Springfield residents"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Attempted murder. Now, honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Just like Colonel Oliver North, Officer Stacey Koon... and cartoon smokesperson Joe Camel.", "c": ["Birch Barlow"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "All right, you heard the man. One grenade each. Oh, Jeez. Really? You think so? All right, give them back. Come on. Everybody, give them back. Hey. Hey! Who pulled the pin on this one?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Very well, if that is the way the winds are blowing... let no one say I don't also blow.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Robert Underdunk Terwilliger.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "A fine mahoq to you all.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "There is to be no wising off... no face-making and no grass-eating. This means you, Ralph.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Do you know what he does? He flip-flops. Sometimes he doesn't know whether he's coming or going.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Help! I'm being attacked by things.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Stay out of Riverdale.", "c": ["Mr. Burns' goons"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "This time, he's the lesser of two evils. Yeah, yeah, I love Grimby.", "c": ["Quimby campaign worker", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Not many people know I owned the first radio in Springfield. Weren't much on the air then. Just Edison reciting the alphabet over and over. 'A,' he'd say. Then 'B.' 'C' would usually follow.", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Even though we're being broadcast on Fox... there's no need for obnoxious hooting and hollering.", "c": ["Larry King"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "I'd say that Les Wynan ought to do more thinking and less whining. There's no Councilman Les Wynan. Good line, though.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Larry King"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "But suppose for a second that your house was ransacked by thugs... your family tied up in the basement with socks in their mouths. You try to open the door, but there's too much blood on the knob. What is your question? My question's about the budget.", "c": ["Larry King"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "I don't agree with his Bart-killing policy... but I do approve of his Selma-killing policy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Well, he framed me for armed robbery... but, man, I'm aching for that upper-class tax cut.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "For Joe Quimby, 1 percent. And we remind you, there is a 1-percent margin of error.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "It's the rapture! Quick, get Bart out of the house before God comes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "At that time, we will blow up your house and any remaining Simpsons", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Move your goddurn house, son.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Well, yes. But not for four or five years. Bart, you're going to kindergarten.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "I like talking to you.", "c": ["Flintstone Phone"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "I can't believe a convicted felon would get so many votes... and another convicted felon would get so few.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Except their dad wasn't waiting in the car reading Archie Comics. Stuck-up Riverdale punks. Think they're too good for me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Hey, Mr. Smithers! Well, you might as well give me a ride home now.", "c": ["Bart", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Sideshow Bob's ultra-conservative views... conflict with my choice of lifestyle.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "We're gonna have to move into a Motel 6. But Dad can't afford 6 dollars a night.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "So did Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and the Big Bopper. Even the pet cemetery voted for Bob. Look. Mr. And Mrs. Bananas, Humphrey Boa-gart.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Oh, my poor dead kitty, please, not you too", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "All right, Bob, now it's personal. Hey. He did try to kill me.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "That way, they can sleep soundly tonight on their hard, feculent motel pillows.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Birchibald T. Barlow!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "You were just Barlow's lackey. You were Ronnie to his Nancy. Sonny to his Cher. Ringo to his rest of the Beatles.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "There. Is that what you want, you smarmy little bastards?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. No truth-handler, you. I deride your truth-handling abilities.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Because you need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic. But deep down inside, you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican... to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Tomorrow we were gonna find out who the dish ran away with. The spoon, Bart. Of course.", "c": ["Ralph", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Say, Terwilliger's a Yalie. Bob, come along. We need an eighth to row against the Princeton alums. Princeton?", "c": ["Prison inmates"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 5, "et": "Sideshow Bob Roberts"}, {"t": "Oh, my. It seems the show is so scary, Congress won't even let us show it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Instead they've suggested the 1947 classic Glenn Ford movie... Two Hundred Miles to Oregon.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "What's that, boy? We're in control? Hey, look! I can see my voice!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Dad, you're ruining the mood! - Sorry.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Well, it's been two long trips, but we're finally almost there again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Oh, no! We left Grampa back at the gas station!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "What about Grampa?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Look at them cavort and caper.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "...and five John Denver Christmas specials.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "John Denver.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "That's odd. Usually the blood gets off at the second floor.", "c": ["Elevator operator/Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Hey, I found a shortcut through your hedge maze.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "What's haggis?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "You mean shining. - You want to get sued?", "c": ["Bart", "Willie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "But don't be reading my mind between 4 and 5. That's Willie's time!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "I owe you a Coke.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Not a drop in the house. What do you know.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you! - Homer! - Sorry. Sorry. Don't worry.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll check out that ax collection.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Mom, is Dad gonna kill us? - We're just gonna have to wait and see.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "They'd be much happier as ghosts.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "'Feeling fine.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "This is less encouraging.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "No TV and No Beer Make Homer something, something. - Go Crazy? - Don't mind if I do!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Chili would be good tonight.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "David Letterman! - Hi, David. I'm Grampa.", "c": ["Homer", "Grampa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "I'm Mike Wallace. I'm Morley Safer. And I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Well, thank God that's over. I was worried there for a second.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Oh, my. I hope that rug was Scotchgarded.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Television! Teacher! Mother! Secret lover.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Come, family. Sit in the snow with Daddy... and let us all bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Homer, change channel. - Can't. Frozen.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "I'm the first non-Brazilian person to travel backwards through time. - Correction, Homer. You're the second. - That's right, Mr. Peabody. - Quiet, you.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Peabody", "Sherman"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything. Because even the tiniest change... can alter the future in ways you can't imagine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Stupid bug! You go squish now!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Hidilly-ho, slave-a-reenos.", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "I see by the big board we got a Negative Nelly in sector two.", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "It's not so bad, Homer. They go in through your nose... and they let you keep the piece of brain they cut out.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "These wieners will give me the quick energy I need to escape!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "I wish, I wish I hadn't killed that fish", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Hey, there's a bug that looks like Dad. - Let's kill it. - Okay.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Fabulous house, well-behaved kids, sisters-in-law dead, luxury sedan... I hit the jackpot!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Doughnut? What's a doughnut?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "This is indeed a disturbing universe.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Homer, the sky is blue, doughnuts are plentiful, Friday is TGIF night on ABC.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Close enough.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Oxygen running out.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "This sandwich tastes so young and impudent.", "c": ["Lunch Lady Doris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Frau Lunchlady, please to have another Sloppy Jimbo?", "c": ["Uter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Oh, relax, kids. I've got a gut feeling Uter's around here somewhere.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "After all, isn't there a little Uter in all of us?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "In fact, you might even say we just ate Uter... and he's in our stomachs right now!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Wait, scratch that one.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Listen, kids, you're 8 and 10 years old now. I can't fight all your battles for you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Don't eat me.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "I'm bad at this.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Yes, I believe I'll start as you've so often suggested... by eating your shorts.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Stupid, cheap weather stripping!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "The family dog is eyeing Bart's intestine", "c": ["Ensemble"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror V"}, {"t": "Remember, Bart... I mean, Dances in Underwear.", "c": ["Unknown adult"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Keep your eyes peeled for Injuns. I mean, Native Americans.", "c": ["Unknown child"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "They're after us because we gave them blankets infected with cooties.", "c": ["Unknown child"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I ate all my caps.", "c": ["Unknown child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "That's not fair, Nelson. They didn't have the Killmatic 3000 back then.", "c": ["Unknown child", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Hey, records from that era are spotty at best.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Why the crap do we have to go church anyway?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You just answered your own question with that commode mouth.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "And with flaming swords, the Aramites did pierce the eyes of their fellow men... and did feast on what flowed forth.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I'm a troll man", "c": ["Unknown child/Troll doll"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I don't want you playing with something that has such bizarre hair. Awful, awful hair.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Wow, there is a God.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, the light would work better if it pointed out to sea! / Shut up, I know what I'm doing.", "c": ["Unknown workers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I hate the sea and everything in it.", "c": ["Unknown worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Bart Simpson. I was incredibly moved by your reading. I don't think God's words have ever sounded so plausible.", "c": ["Bart", "Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Thanks, Art.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "She's a sweet, kind reverend's daughter, and you're the devil's cabana boy.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Ralph, Jesus did not have wheels.", "c": ["Sunday school teacher", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "But, Bart, we banned you from Sunday school. You were happy. We were happy. Everybody was happy. Particularly the hamster.", "c": ["Sunday school teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "What's prodigal mean?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Must fight Satan.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Do you ever think anything you don't say?", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Now, the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Now, the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "'Tis no more than what God gave me, you Puritan pukes.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Simpson. You just fell for our sting and won yourself three months' detention. There's no such thing as Scotchtoberfest!", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You used me, Skinner! You used me!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "No, it's not that. Didn't you hear? They have no bananas. They have no bananas today.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Well, in my family, grades aren't that important. It's what you learn that counts. Six times five! What is it?", "c": ["Bart", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Actually, numbers don't have much use in my future career: Olympic gold-medal rocket-sled champ!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Well, no offense, but what you don't know could fill a warehouse.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Never have I heard such gratuitous use of the word 'butt'! / But... But... But... / Make him stop!", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Bart", "Others"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Never have I heard such gratuitous use of the word 'butt'!", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Smart, beautiful and a liar. So much better than that Sarah, plain and tall.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "It's like the toilet paper is an extension of your body.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "That's for besmirching an innocent girl's name.", "c": ["Unknown kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Actually, if the road surface maintains its integrity... I just might be able to hold on.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "The glue will slow me down. Any glue leaking? No. That glue ain't going nowhere.", "c": ["Bart", "Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Have you noticed any change in Bart? New glasses? No. He looks like something might be disturbing him. Probably misses his old glasses.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities. But then I'd be afraid of smothering him. - Yeah. And then we'd get the chair. - That's not what I meant. It was, Marge. Admit it.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Save me from the wee turtles! They were too quick for me!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "She's like a Milk Dud, Lis: Sweet on the outside, poison on the inside.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Do you have Go, Dog, Go? / That's in Juvenile. This is Young Adult. / Well-read and just a little wild. If only someone could tame him.", "c": ["Library boy", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Oh, Lis, she's already drawn me to her with her beautiful siren song.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "You're turning me into a criminal when all I want to be is a petty thug.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Thirty cents off Shake N' Bake. / Homer! / We can spare it, Marge. We've been blessed.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "What is it? A Unitarian?", "c": ["Unknown congregant"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "How convenient.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "And you're just yellow trash.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "She's got a 108 IQ, she reads at a fifth-grade level. And her hair smells like red Froot Loops.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, I eat Froot Loops for breakfast.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I smelled some marijuana smoke in Vietnam! / I was the one that canceled Star Trek! / I left my Porsche keys inside Mrs. Glick.", "c": ["Various congregants"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Smells like church.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Bart Simpson has somehow managed to sneak his bedroom into my house.", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "I was expelled, Dad. Remember the pipe bomb? The glee club brawl? Remember the school chapel collection plate? The exploding toilets ring a bell? Come on, Dad, pay attention to me!", "c": ["Jessica"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Wait till she sees the second-rate job I do on these stairs.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 7, "et": "Barts Girlfriend"}, {"t": "Action News. The last place an impressionable kid can go for TV violence.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "A tremendous explosion in the price of lumber.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "bearing down on us like a shotgun full of snow", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "As of now, the death count is zero. But it is ready to shoot right up.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Damn you, snow!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "All right! Snow day! No school tomorrow!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Lisa, that man is a professional meteorologist.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "The forecast calls for a 75% chance of hilarity.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "I made the snowball from the frost in our freezer.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Of course she did. Who else would have?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "I'm saved! I love being a Simpson.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Let's see. We have no A's. So let's go right to the B's. Bart.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Damn it, I wish we hadn't let the students name that.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Hey, Dolph, take a memo on your Newton: Beat up Martin.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "I won! I won!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Me fail English? That's 'unpossible.'", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.82, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Hey! Keep it down, man.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Gym?! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "How about a present, son? / Well, I could use a new pair of hockey skates.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Ah, the mysteries of life.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "You mean, where parents push kids into vicious competition to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Look, I don't need this. I inhaled my favorite whistle this morning.", "c": ["Gym Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Children, that was our only ball. There'll be no team this year.", "c": ["Coach"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Sports, sports, sports, sports", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "And if you lose, I'll kill you! / Oh, Dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "I could've been equipment manager, but no!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Our goalie cannot stand up. / Tell you what, get some rope.", "c": ["Coach", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, since I bet on the other team... we won't be going for pizza.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Wow, Bart, I'm so impressed you were able to give Milhouse a concussion.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "What the...? / You know, I wonder if her skills will transfer over to the game of hockey.", "c": ["Bart", "Apu"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "The goalie of my dreams!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't... it's that girls should stick to girl sports.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Stop the inauguration! I just discovered our president-elect got an F in second-grade gym class!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Don't worry. It's just a name. / He said it was just a name! / What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula.", "c": ["Judge", "Lisa", "Narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Look! That kid's got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel?", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "We're laughing with her, Marge. There's a big difference. / With her.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Sucker! Competitive violence, that's why you're here!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Gee, who am I kidding, huh? It's all because of Lisa.", "c": ["Coach"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Hey, Bart. If Lisa's better than you at hockey... does that mean you're gonna become better than her at school?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Who can tell me the capital of Spain? Bart Simpson. The square root of 36? Bart Simpson. Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Bart Simpson, stop raising your hand. You haven't had one right answer today.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "It's a lucky coincidence you happen to be your sister's brother.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "I hardly ever let Mother fight for me anymore.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Don't have a stereotypical view of me just because I'm your mother. / I know. How about we play the basketball?", "c": ["Marge", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "I'm no Harvey Globetrotter, but...", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Watch out for the Shaq attack!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Well, not wasted... I love you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Ma. I think I'm all hugged out. / Ah, one more.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "But instead, I just ripped the head off Mr. Honey Bunny!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Bart, that was your cherished childhood toy.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "If you get hit, it's your own fault.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "All right, pie, I'm just gonna do this: And if you get eaten, it's your own fault.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Don't go easy on each other because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "All right. All right, I'll sweeten the deal. You can see the game, you don't have to come back... but you have to promise not to commit any more crimes, okay? / No.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Prisoners"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Their father's fat and their mother's thin And Grampa Simpson reeks of gin / Hey! That's Obsession for Men.", "c": ["Crowd", "Grampa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "I hope you understand I'm too tense to pretend I like you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "But Blanche, you gotta help me out here! Please! I'm 64 grand in the hole! They're gonna take my thumbs!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "I'm wearing my lucky rabbit's head.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Mr. Honey Bunny! You inhumane monster!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "You can't possible like Maggie best. What has she ever done? Nothing for nobody.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Shouldn't have turned down those cue cards.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "I love Bart! / No, wait! I love Lisa! / Beer? Oh, Marge, I love you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "It's your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise! The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Tie game?! / What the hell?! / This is outrageous.", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "They're both losers. Losers! / Rip off! / We paid for blood!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Those kids are, like, so sweet.", "c": ["Teen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "If only they had had Pee Wee hockey when I was a lad.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa On Ice"}, {"t": "Damn FDA. Why can't it all be marshmallow?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Bart, don't put the non-marshmallow pieces back in the box. They go in the trash.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "You like sweets, kids? I know a place that's sweeter than sweetness itself. In this sweet place, earthly doughnuts are sour as poison. You'd spit them out, you would. I'm talking about the Candy Industry Trade Show.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "They hid them in every millionth Krusty Klump Bar... and Krusty Klump Bar with almonds.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Hey. Hey. I have asked you nicely not to mangle my merchandise. You leave me no choice but to ask you nicely again.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Marge, they can't carry enough candy. They have puny little muscles. Not big, ropy ones like you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "You go, Mom. For the greater good. - For the greater good.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "They wouldn't be if you would sit in a hollowed-out wheelchair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "I had to choose between a grad student at the university or a scary-looking hobo.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Please, the hobo. Please, the hobo. The hobo.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Ashley Grant. You gave a talk on women's issues at my school... on how we don't have to be second-class citizens. Mom, how can you leave us with this maniac?", "c": ["Ashley", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Hurry. If we're early, we can get a picture... with the two surviving Musketeers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "So you're one of those 'don't-call-me-a-chick' chicks, huh?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Disemboweler IV. The game where condemned criminals dig at each other with rusty hooks.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "See, Lisa? Male's aren't hard to tame. They all follow their video cartridges.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "I feel like a kid in some kind of a store.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Well, as you can see, I have created a lemon ball so sour... it can only be safely contained in a magnetic field.", "c": ["Candy Scientist"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Like what? - One, a humorous substitute for your own lips. - Keep going. - Two... I'm needed in the basement.", "c": ["Salesman", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "You're gonna have to put some sugar on that celery or get out, ma'am.", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "The gummi Venus de Milo, carved by gummi artisans... who work exclusively in the medium of gummi.", "c": ["Salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Will you two stop saying 'gummi' so much?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "How did they get there?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Halt! Halt! - Run, Marge. Save the booty.", "c": ["Security", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "See you in hell, candy boy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Okay, don't panic. She can't have gotten far. She has no arms.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Ashley trapped/uncomfortable in the car for 20 minutes while Homer searches", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "How come you can go to the moon, but can't make my shoes smell good?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Could you take the wheel for a second? I have to scratch in two places at once.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Thank you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "There he is. There's the man that sexually harassed me.", "c": ["Ashley"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "For a minute there I thought I was in big trouble. It's just a...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Two, four, six, eight Homer's crime was very great. 'Great' meaning 'large or immense' We use it in the pejorative sense", "c": ["Protesters"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "I can't even say the word 'titmouse' without giggling like a schoolgirl.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "I was grabbing a gummi Venus de Milo that got stuck to your pants. - Yeah, right. That's the oldest excuse in the book.", "c": ["Homer", "Ashley"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Why would anybody wanna touch a girl's butt? That's where cooties come from.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Lisa, remember that postcard Grampa sent us from Florida... of that alligator biting that woman's bottom? - Oh, yeah. That was brilliant. - That's right. We all thought it was hilarious. But it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "And the dog in the Coppertone ad? Same deal? - Well, that's kind of a gray area.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "We ain't crazy about nuclear power either!", "c": ["Protesters"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "You mean, I'm on my own? I've never been on my own. Oh, no. On own. On own. I need help. Oh, God, help me. Help me, God!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Hello, Homer, this is God... frey Jones from the TV magazine show Rock Bottom.", "c": ["Godfrey Jones"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "I saw that report you did on Sasquatch. It was fair and even-handed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Oh, just thinking about that sweet, sweet candy... I just wish I had another one right now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Say, can you introduce me to the Sasquatch? I like his style.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "I keep telling you, I just grow sorghum here. - And where are the hookers? - Around back.", "c": ["Farmer", "Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on her sweet can... I grabbed her sweet can... Oh, just thinking about her can... I just wish I had her sweet, sweet, sweet can.", "c": ["Homer (edited)"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on her sweet can... I grabbed her sweet can... Oh, just thinking about her can... I just wish I had her sweet, sweet, sweet can.", "c": ["Homer (edited)"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Dramatization: May not have happened.", "c": ["TV Disclaimer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Under the sea", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Under the sea... There'll be no accusations Just friendly crustaceans Under the sea", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "That's your solution to everything, to move under the sea. It won't happen. - Not with that attitude.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent he believes gives him sexual powers.", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Hey, that's a half-truth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I cant go on. - That's okay. Your tears say more than real evidence ever could.", "c": ["Random Woman", "TV Host"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "And here's your host, Gentle Ben.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Let's have less Homer Simpsons and more money for public schools.", "c": ["Woman on Ben"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Homer S: Portrait of an Ass-Grabber. Starring Dennis Franz.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "No, Mr. Simpson. That's sexual harassment. If you keep it up, I'll yell so loud, the whole country will hear. - With a man in the White House? Not likely.", "c": ["TV Ashley", "TV Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "With a man in the White House? Not likely.", "c": ["Dennis Franz as Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Now, this technology is new to me... but I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven... rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees. He's literally stewing in his own juices.", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Of course, this is just a television poll... which is not legally binding, unless Proposition 304 passes. And we all pray it will.", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "We got the real dirt on Homer Simpson, and the bidding starts at 10 G's. - I bid 10 G's. - Ten-five G's.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe", "TV Reporters"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Sorry, Dad. We do believe in you. We really do. It's just hard not to listen to TV. It's spent so much more time raising us than you.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Maybe TV is right. - TV's always right.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "And the number one reference that I am running into the ground is: Homer Simpson.", "c": ["David Letterman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "I think about weird stuff. Like, what would happen if E.T. And Mr. T had a baby? Well, you'd get Mr. E.T., wouldn't you? And, you know, I think he'd sound a little something like this: 'I pity the fool who doesn't phone home.'", "c": ["Evening at the Improv Comedian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Like, what would happen if E.T. and Mr. T had a baby? Well, you'd get Mr. E.T., wouldn't you? And, you know, I think he'd sound a little something like this: 'I pity the fool who doesn't phone home.'", "c": ["Comedian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "There are only 49 stars on that flag. I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missouri.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Hello. I am Homer Simpson. Or, as some of you wags have dubbed me, 'Father Goose.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Like one time, we were having this race with this stupid, old-timey bicycle... with the big wheel in front. So I figure, 'We'll see about that.' So I get this big chunk of cinderblock, and I...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Hello? No, Janice doesn't live here. - Hello? Yes, I am interested in long-distance savings. Very interested.", "c": ["TV Station Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Marge, this is so depressing. My only hope is this homemade Prozac. - Needs more ice cream.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "I didn't come forward because in this country... it makes you look like a pervert. But every single Scottish person does it!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "You know, the courts might not work anymore... but as long as everybody is videotaping everyone else... justice will be done.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "You know, the courts might not work anymore... but as long as everybody is videotaping everyone else... justice will be done.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Homer, I thought you were an animal. But your daughter said you were a decent man. - I guess she was right. - You're both right.", "c": ["Ashley", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Wow, V8 juice isn't one-eighth gasoline. - And Ted Koppel is a robot.", "c": ["Rock Bottom Corrections"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Oh, that man is sick. - Groundskeeper Willie saved you, Homer. But listen to the music. He's evil.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Hasn't this experience taught you you can't believe everything you hear? - Marge, my friend, I haven't learned a thing.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 9, "et": "Homer Badman"}, {"t": "Slim, if we've got the bag with the stolen diamonds... then what happened to the bag with our stash? There's more than one way to get high, baby.", "c": ["Troy McClure", "Slim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Please, Marge. How often can I see a movie of this caliber... on late night TV? Is there something wrong, Homie? It's just that I've only seen this twice before... and I've seen you every night for the last 11 ye... What I meant to say is, we'll snuggle tomorrow, sweetie. I promise.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Enchiladas.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Can I sleep in there with you guys tonight? No. Can I sit on the roof... with a baseball bat in case a UFO comes? Yes, that's fine. Good, good.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Marge, there's just too much pressure. What with my job, the kids, traffic snarls... political strife at home and abroad. But I promise you the second all those things go away, we'll have sex.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge, this guy looks like Apu!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "What you looking at? I'm just reading up on artillery. Yes, and I'm pursuing my interest in...", "c": ["Moe", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "This one's a good choice and it's not smutty. It's a book on tape by Paul Harvey. That Midwestern man on the radio who's like a pleasant version of Grampa.", "c": ["Bookstore clerk"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "I hope it's as exciting as his other book: Rational Thinking, Reasonable Future.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Mr. Vice President, someone finally bought a copy of your book. Well, this calls for a celebration.", "c": ["Al Gore aide", "Al Gore"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Celebrate good times Come on! I will.", "c": ["Al Gore"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Homie, I can't quite fit. The faucet's jammed into my back. I'm stuck. So am I.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "The Arabian Nights Room looks nice. The Pharaoh's Chamber has a vibrating sarcophagus.", "c": ["Motel clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Sorry there, Fred and Ethel. Should have made a reservation. We only got one room left. The toilet is overflowing in the Caveman Room.", "c": ["Motel clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "This isn't very erotic. I think it's an actual utility room. No, honey. It's a romantic fantasy. I imagine I'm the janitor, and you're... the janitor's wife, who has to live with me in the utility room.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Don't mind me, folks. Just need to get the old wet-dry vac.", "c": ["Actual janitor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Pneumonoultramicroscopic-silicovolcanoconiosis?", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "What? Sex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father... talk about sex? I had sex.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "I got a home remedy that'll put the dowsers back in your trousers.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Legend has it my great grandpappy stumbled upon this recipe... when he was trying to invent a cheap substitute for holy water.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Here's $50. Go to the movies, then take a cab to your aunt's. Stay there. Call you later. Now, now, now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Here he is, Rex Harrison and Paul Anka rolled into one.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "You want me to spend more time with Dad? What about my New Year's resolution?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Oh, mama! This is finally really happening. After years of disappointment with get-rich-quick schemes... I know I'm gonna get rich with this scheme. And quick.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "I guess people have some sort of moral objection to our sex drug.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Put some ardor in your larder with our energizing, moisturizing... tantalizing, romanticizing, surprising, 'her-prising,' revitalizing tonic!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "What say we amscray out of here and have a wild wingding... at the cyclotron, doctor. Anything you say, professor.", "c": ["Professor Frink", "Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Oh, boy! Now I can sleep out in the yard! Yeah! Every single night.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Kirk"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "What's going on? Where are all the grownups? Who cares? With no adults around, I run this city.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Jeez! If it's in a book, it's gotta be true. Scary, no? And this guy is head of the Spaceology Department at the Correspondence College of Tampa.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "And this guy is head of the Spaceology Department... at the Correspondence College of Tampa.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Frigid Falls, Mount Seldom, Lake Flaccid.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Well, then how come his face is on the bottle?", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "You're the worst shill ever! You're a disgrace to the medicine show business.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "You fool. Can't you see it's a massive government conspiracy? Or have they gotten to you too?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Haven't you ever heard of Ockham's razor? The simplest explanation is probably the correct one. So, what's the simplest explanation? I don't know. Maybe they're all reverse vampires and they have to get home before dark.", "c": ["Lisa", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Farm went bust after the cows started giving sour milk. Something must've spooked them good.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "There she is. The old Radiation King.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Look at me, Mom. I am President Kennedy.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "You, president? This is the greatest country in the world. We've got a system set up to keep people like you... from ever becoming president. Quit your daydreaming, melonhead.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Maybe I could've been something more than I am. Like a travel agent... to a great scientist. Or the inventor of a hilarious refrigerator alarm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "If I hadn't taken that stupid tonic 38 years ago... you'd have never been born and I'd have been happy. You were an accident!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Of course not, Marge. Just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident. He didn't wanna have me. You didn't wanna have Bart. You're never supposed to tell the child. You tell Bart all the time. But when I do it, it's cute.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "...are forcing our parents to go to bed early... in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner. We're through the looking glass here, people.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Dad, number one: I know how to ride a bike. Number two: I already own a bike. And number three: That is a girl's bike.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "No offense, but your half-assed under-parenting was a lot more fun... than your half-assed over-parenting. But I'm using my whole ass.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "Dad! Son! I'm a screwup. I burned down our house. No. I'm a screwup. I burned down our house.", "c": ["Homer", "Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "I'm not sorry I had you, son. And I was always proud... that you weren't a short man.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 10, "et": "Grampa Vs Sexual Inadequacy"}, {"t": "A snake in the cash register! Yeah, great prank, fellas. Great.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney", "other bar patrons"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Hey, Moe, you wanna smell my flower? Do I!", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "I'm burning up here! Taking advantage of my alcohol-soaked clothes.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Oh, it's funny and it makes you think.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Oh, there's sugar all over the bar now. That's not funny, Homer.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "This bar is like a tavern to me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Sorry, Homer. You should've thought of that before giving me the sugar-me-do.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "I'm taking your caricature down from Mount Lushmore", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "'It's Raining Men'? Yeah, not no more it ain't.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Joke's on them. I'm still alive.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Did you know the Chinese use the same word for crisis as they do for opportunity? Yes. 'Cris-a-tunity.'", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna get drunker than I've ever been in my entire life.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Wow, classy. Good evening, sir. Would you please leave without a fuss right now? Okay.", "c": ["Homer", "Fancy restaurant maitre'd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Sammy, you're too old to go on a date with two twins on the same night you're supposed to marry Diane without Rebecca knowing.", "c": ["Cheers characters"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "I'll make you a bet. If this affects my major-league comeback, I'll sell the bar.", "c": ["Sam Malone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Just give me another beer, you brain-dead hick. I'll kill you. I'll kill all of you! Settle down, Normie.", "c": ["Norm", "Woody"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "I know. This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Enjoy your deathtrap, ladies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Homer? Who is Homer? My name is Guy Incognito.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. This man is my exact double. That dog has a puffy tail!", "c": ["Guy Incognito", "Santa's Little Helper"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Shut up, liver! My liver hurts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "But I am a pilot. Where's your uniform? I stowed it safely in the overhead compartment.", "c": ["Homer", "Bartender"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Who wants to fly to the Windy City? I'll go! Me! I'm your man! Conditions are a bit windy. Well, on second thought, maybe I'll sit down.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "You're not just impersonating a pilot so you can drink here, are you? Yeah. That's exactly why I'm here. You flyboys. You crack me up.", "c": ["Homer", "Real pilot"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "As a change of pace, I'm gonna let you do most of the work. I think you're ready for it, Alan.", "c": ["Homer", "Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "We'll need that to live.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Excluding Alaska and Hawaii, the freak states.", "c": ["Airline executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "It's a chance for you to clean up after us in a whole other state.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "I wanna explore the world. I wanna watch TV in a different time zone. I wanna visit strange, exotic malls.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a footlong hero.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Oh, great. I specifically asked not to be seated next to a baby.", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "We must be really flying high. Those people down there look all tiny and blurry. Just like the inside of a cataract.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Come on, Bart, they're gonna pamper us. Not literally, of course.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "We'll just wait for the killer bees to come to us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Sock puppets. Where?! Where?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "I just realized we never had a wedding for the cat and the dog. They've been living in sin.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Judge, jury and executioner all rolled into one, you are.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Can't talk. Keeping myself in a state of catlike readiness.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "It breaks up families. It turns wives against husbands, children against fathers, neighbors against me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "You don't have to pay some fancy psychiatrist 10 bucks an hour to get top-notch therapy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "You will die a terrible, terrible death. I'm sorry. That was our last caller. Okay, I'm getting something now. You will die a terrible, terrible death.", "c": ["Radio Psychic"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "'It's Raining Men.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Pass me another hunk of copilot.", "c": ["Survivor in plane crash movie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "You'll have to live with your grandmother and pick beans.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Dad, I like picking beans with Grandma. Well, keep it up, then. Okay, I will. Good. You do that. Fine. You'll be picking many a bean. Hope I do.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "I have many, many issues with my beloved smother... Mother.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "If money is a problem, I charge on a sliding scale. I can go as low as $30 an hour. Keep sliding.", "c": ["Dr. Zweig", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "But it's a few seconds before 12:00.", "c": ["Dr. Zweig"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "They use it to drill a flaming hole in your head.", "c": ["Young Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "And there's only one big toilet, and they make you all go at the same time.", "c": ["Young Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "You know they don't write their own songs. They do so. They don't play their own instruments. No! No! That's not even Michael Nesmith's real hat.", "c": ["Mean kid", "Young Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "The Monkees weren't about music, Marge. They were about rebellion, about political and social upheaval.", "c": ["Dr. Zweig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "And you also infringed on any number of copyrights.", "c": ["Dr. Zweig"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "People always say how small England is, but you couldn't fit it all in here. Not by a long shot.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "My father was a stewardess.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "My father was a stewardess.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.44, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "You might even say he was an American hero. Let's not go nuts.", "c": ["Dr. Zweig", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Yes, yes. It's all a rich tapestry.", "c": ["Dr. Zweig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "That's okay. You don't have to make her into a superwoman. She can get on the plane, that's plenty.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Whenever the wind whistles through the leaves, I'll think, 'Lowenstein. Lowenstein.' My name is Zweig. Lowenstein...", "c": ["Marge", "Dr. Zweig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "That's just the carp swimming around your ankles.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 11, "et": "Fear Of Flying"}, {"t": "Yeah, I probably won't be able to get the parts I need for two, three weeks. And that's if I order them today. Which I won't.", "c": ["Plumber"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Emergency call. Gotta go. What should we do until you get back? Put a pan down there.", "c": ["Plumber", "Homeowner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "It didn't work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "It's a secret. Shut up.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "All right, Econo-Save, you just made the list.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "It's a secret. Shut up.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "It's a secret. Shut up.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "I do now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "You stalked Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Oh, okay. Have it your own way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute. I'm going outside... to stalk... Lenny and Carl...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "All I have to do is follow the yellow-drip road.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "I can see everything and they're none the wiser.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "An intruder! He will pay the ultimate price. Yes, the ultimate price. Get out of here!", "c": ["Stonecutters"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff. And I want in.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "That was a real nice secret organization we had once.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Hey! I saved your life. That egg sandwich could've killed you by cholesterol.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Those Egg Council creeps got to you too?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "You'd better run, egg!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Sorry. Not you, Homer. Why not? But you let in Homer Glumpet. It says 'no Homers.' We're allowed to have one.", "c": ["Kids", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "We can? Thanks, Mom.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "What do they do? What don't they do? Oh, they do so many things, they never stop. Oh, the things they do there. My stars.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Not as such, no.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Do I ever. It's five years later and I still think I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "I'm an Elk, a Mason, a Communist.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "I'm the president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance, for some reason.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "What kind of stupid wiener name is that? 'Hello, my name is Number One.' And so forth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Hey, 29, get over here! Thank you, sir. May I have another?", "c": ["Lenny", "Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Patience, Monty. Climb the ladder.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "I think I have to do it again. My blindfold came off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Hey, have you ever noticed that the Crossing the Desert is a lot like the Unblinking Eye? And exactly like the Wreck of the Hesperus.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "He should have to take a different oath. Everyone takes the same oath.", "c": ["Homer", "Stonecutter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Now let's all get drunk and play Ping-Pong.", "c": ["Number One"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "But what if I were to shake your hand in this way?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "So long, suckers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "This keeps paramedics from stealing your wallet.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "We just created the greatest democracy on earth, lowlife commoner! Get out!", "c": ["Historical Stonecutter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, We do", "c": ["Stonecutters"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Who leaves Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do, We do", "c": ["Stonecutters"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do, We do", "c": ["Stonecutters"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Homer. Oh, yeah. Thanks, Lenny.", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Oh, God! No, Homer, no! This is outrageous! You can't do that! No!", "c": ["Stonecutters"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "And as a final humiliation, you must walk home naked, dragging behind you the Stone of Shame.", "c": ["Number One"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "The mark! Oh, that. It's just a birthmark. And I'll thank you not to stare.", "c": ["Stonecutters", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Remove the Stone of Shame. Attach the Stone of Triumph!", "c": ["Number One"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Mental note: Don't overdo this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "I always wondered if there was a God. And now I know. There is, and it's me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "I always wondered if there was a God. And now I know. There is, and it's me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Remove the girl.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Yeah. Well... Run.", "c": ["Stonecutters", "Moe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "I could help others. I'll get a bunch of monkeys, dress them up and make them reenact the Civil War.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "I could help others. I'll get a bunch of monkeys, dress them up and make them reenact the Civil War.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Dad, that doesn't help people. Couldn't hurt. Unless the monkeys started hurting people. Which they almost certainly would.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "He's gone mad with power, like that Albert Schweitzer guy.", "c": ["Stonecutter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "This is much better than the old Stonecutter hall. Silence. I now call to order the first meeting of the ancient, mystic society of... No Homers.", "c": ["Number One", "Moe"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Hey, fellas. Can I join? Sorry. No Homers.", "c": ["Homer", "New society"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Homer, you can't just keep hanging out with these Colobus monkeys. Somebody's gonna get parasites.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge, kids, I miss my club. Oh, Homie. You know, you are a member of a very exclusive club.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "The Black Panthers?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "And only two of those members have special rings. I meant our wedding rings!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, We do", "c": ["Simpson family"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Shut up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 12, "et": "Homer The Great"}, {"t": "Don't have to yell, Michael. I'm all around you.", "c": ["Knightboat"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Every week, there's a canal. Or an inlet. Or a fjord.", "c": ["Michael", "Other character"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Quiet! I won't hear another word against the boat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Says you, woman.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "It was Bart.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "And here's our TV next to the mirror. It looks like we have two.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Two. Two. Yeah, yeah, two. Let's get to the baby pictures.", "c": ["Homer", "Family"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Here's Bart sleeping. Here he is dozing. Here he is after a visit from the sandman. Here's nappy time, Bart. Here's a cute one. He's all tuckered out.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Bart, you were Lisa's age. And, Lisa... you were the age Bart was several years ago.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "It was a tumultuous time for our nation. The clear-beverage craze gave us all a reason to live.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "The information superhighway showed the average person... what some nerd thinks about Star Trek.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "And the domestication of the dog continued unabated.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Not on my shift!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Simpson, 10, terrorists, 8.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "I don't think a healthy man can make that kind of smell.", "c": ["Coworker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.36, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "With a single glorious check... I'm finally completely out of debt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Yes! With my bills paid off, I can finally quit this lousy job.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Don't worry about Homer J. I've got a plan. A plan that'll fix you good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Lovely desk. It would be too bad if someone... oh, I don't know, didn't use a coaster!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Such a nice, tidy office. Maybe it's time you started living like a pig!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Oh, I hope I haven't upset you... bongo head!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Oh, I should be resisting this, but I'm paralyzed with rage... and island rhythms.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Go, Homer. Yeah. Yeah. Way to play the boss's head like a bongo, Homer. He's getting a pretty good sound out of that guy.", "c": ["Coworkers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Barney, any chance you can get me a job? Hey. Sure, Homer. I told you, my uncle owns the place.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Hey, Uncle Al, can Homer have a job? Sure. Barney, you're fired. Okay.", "c": ["Barney", "Uncle Al"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Show up tomorrow. Bring three rags. Oh, and a change of pants. Why? When it happens, you'll know.", "c": ["Uncle Al", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "You're a pin monkey? Finally, I don't have to be ashamed of my father's job.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "From now on, we use regular toilet paper... not that fancy quilted kind.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "And only one of you kids can go to college. Fine. Fine.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "I've got sand in my underpants. Me too. Let's go home.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Everything in our lives is finally perfectly balanced. I hope things stay exactly like this forever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Did you have to be so graphic? It's okay, Marge. They pave the way for this kind of filth in school.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer. Hi there, Homer. Hi, Homer. Hi there, Homer. Hi.", "c": ["Bowling alley workers", "Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Bowling-fresh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Urinal-fresh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Homer, did you polish your head in the Shine-O Ball-O? No. Okay, then.", "c": ["Coworker", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "If horseracing is the sport of kings... then surely, bowling... is a very good sport as well.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Hey, great job, Homer. Thanks a lot, Homer. Hey, you're the best. I'm gonna make it after all", "c": ["Coworkers", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Well, you know, a healthy baby can bring upwards of $60,000. What?! Of course, that was just a test. Had you reacted differently, why, you'd be in jail right now. Simply a test.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Been there, done that. I hope it's a girl. You know nothing about genetics, Lis. It goes boy, girl, boy, girl.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me, and I am thankful.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "If that is okay, please give me absolutely no sign. Okay, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Hello. Is this A. Aaronson? It might interest you to know that Marge Simpson is pregnant again.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Aaronson and Zowkowski are the two biggest gossips in town. In an hour, everyone will know.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "It's true, the bundle is little... but I'm not in it for the money.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "This is getting very abstract, but thank you... I do enjoy working at the bowling alley.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Man, it's windy as hell out there. Hey, wait a minute. What are all these presents? It looks like you're... showering Marge with gifts. With little, tiny baby-sized gifts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Well, I'll be in the tub.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "New job? Marge is pregnant?! No!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Oh, just that one time. Actually, when I was about to have Bart... You're pregnant?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "And then when I told him about Lisa... You're pregnant again?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "That new baby in your mother's womb was a ticking time bomb... threatening to blow this family eight ways from Sunday.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "You can't expect a person... to sit for 30 minutes straight. I'm gonna get a snack and maybe go to the bathroom. I'll stay here, but I'm gonna think about products I might like to purchase.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "We're doomed. Doomed, I tells you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Okay, but I know funny.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Bowling. Bowling here. Come bowl now. Get your bowling. Who's ready? Bowling.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "My marketing plan attracted a record number of police and fire officials... but few stayed to bowl. I failed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "And the way you kept the young people away, that was beautiful.", "c": ["Uncle Al"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Joey. We'll make it to California someday. Sure, we will, Mr. Homer. Sure, we will.", "c": ["Homer", "Joey"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Boy, this is depressing. I know what'd cheer us up. Bowling.", "c": ["Bowling alley workers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "So come crawling back, eh? Seems like the classy thing to do would be not to call attention to it.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "As punishment for your desertion... it's company policy to give you the plague. Sir, that's the 'plaque.' Yes, the special de-motivational plaque...", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Don't forget: You're here forever.", "c": ["Visual gag"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "My contractions started an hour ago. Just in one ear and out the other with you, isn't it?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Congratulations. It's a boy. You're truly the catch of the day.", "c": ["Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "That's the umbilical cord. It's a girl.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "Come on, Marge, show a little enthusiasm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 13, "et": "And Maggie Makes Three"}, {"t": "our most propane-explosion-free Science Week ever", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I can't say I approve of the 'whoo,' but the 'hurrah' was quite heartening", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Bart, if you have a failing, it's that you're always demanding perfection. If you have a failing.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Careful, children. That's my car.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Tango 14, we're being fired at. I'm getting an ID on the bogey now... Iraqis again. Launching Sidewinder missile.", "c": ["Military Pilot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "This is what happens when you cut money out of the military and put it into healthcare. - It's a good program. Just give it a chance, that's all I ask.", "c": ["Military Pilot"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Curse the man who invented helium. Curse Pierre Jules C\u00e9sar Janssen.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Empty my pockets, you say? Well, certainly, but I fail to see how...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Blueprints of the dummy, notarized photos of you making the dummy, and an alternate wording for the banner.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "There's a 4:30 in the morning now?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Top of the hour, time for the news. But of course, there is no news yet. Everyone's still asleep in their comfy, comfy beds. Good night, everybody.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "There's a stuffed pepper in the trash from last night. Just rinse it good.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Come on, Lassie. Here, boy. Come on, girl. Attaboy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "There's nothing more exciting than science. You get all the fun of sitting still, being quiet, writing down numbers, paying attention. Science has it all.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Why don't they look anything like their names?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Once. But by the time I got to a phone, my discovery had already been reported by Principal Kohoutek.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I got back at him, though. Him and that little boy of his.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "No sighting. Did you get that one, Bart? - Hell, no. - Good.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Observatory? This is Bart Simpson. I see something in the sky at 4-12-8, and the last number is seven.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Got you, my rumpy doppelg\u00e4nger.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "And then I sped away without anyone seeing my license plate.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Sounds like you had a good day, Dad. - Yeah. Except I forgot to go to work.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you. But then you've always been proud of me. - Yes.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I am called Ham, since I enjoy Ham Radio. This is E-Mail, Cosine, Report Card, Database and Lisa.", "c": ["Ham (Super Friends member)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "This is E-Mail, Cosine, Report Card, Database and Lisa.", "c": ["Ham"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I make it a point never turn my head unless I expect to see something.", "c": ["Database"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Oh, no, no! This isn't right at all! It must be coming toward us at a fantastic speed.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I knew you'd try to find something wrong with my comet. You've always been petty and small, right from the beginning.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "We are the Super Friends - Hey, shut up.", "c": ["Super Friends", "Random person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Sounds like the Doomsday Whistle. Ain't been blown for nigh on to three years. Trouble a-brewing.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "when I learned about the impending crisis... I caught the very next plane to Springfeld. Field.", "c": ["Government official"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "when I learned about the impending crisis, I caught the very next plane to Springfeld. Field.", "c": ["Government Official"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "You don't need to applaud that.", "c": ["Government Official"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "working with former Carter-administration officials and military men who were forced into early retirement... For various reasons which we won't go into here, okay?", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "The reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Just like that rain-forest scare a few years back. Our officials saw there was a problem, and they fixed it, didn't they? - No, Dad. I don't think... - There's that word again.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "See, while the unprepared are still sitting around twiddling their thumbs and going: [Homer makes confused noises]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "It blew up the bridge! We're doomed!", "c": ["Multiple characters"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "And like Icarus, the rocket foolishly soared too high and lost control of its servo-guidance mechanism", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "It's a silent testament to the never-give-up and never-think-things-out spirit of our citizens.", "c": ["Arnie Pie"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I wanna tack on a rider to that bill. Thirty million dollars of taxpayer money to support the perverted arts.", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I've said it before and I'll say it again, democracy simply doesn't work.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "The following people are gay. - Turn it off. - Just a second.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "If I'm not, may we all be horribly crushed from above somehow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "It'll burn up in our atmosphere and what's ever left will be no bigger than a Chihuahua's head.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "We have a bomb shelter? - Homer Simpson takes care of his family.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Hidy-ho-a-roonie, neighbor. What can I do you for? - Get out of there. My family needs your bomb shelter.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "We haven't got shelterinies. We want in yours. - Well, sorry. Shelter's kind of full.", "c": ["Random person", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "In the world of the future, we'll need laughter, so I'm in.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "We all know the one thing we won't need in the future: Left-handed stores. That's you, Flanders!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I might go mad with fear out there, so, Todd, I want you to shoot Daddy if he tries to get back in. - Okay, Dad.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Todd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I'll make the sound of a barnyard animal, and you all try to guess what it is.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I'll make the sound of a barnyard animal, and you all try to guess what it is.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Can't you see this barnyard-noise guessing game is tearing us apart?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Can't you see this barnyard-noise guessing game... is tearing us apart?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I can't let that brave man out there die alone. I'm surprised and disgusted by all of you. Especially his children.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Radio reception in there sucked.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Let's go burn down the observatory so this'll never happen again.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "I can't believe that extra-thick layer of pollution that I've picketed against is what burned up the comet.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "Yeah. Dad was right. - I know, kids. I'm scared too.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 14, "et": "Barts Comet"}, {"t": "There's nothing better than a cigarette...unless it's a cigarette lit with a $100 bill.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Put 5000 bucks on the Lakers. Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "My house is dirty. Buy me a clean one.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Did you send 1000 roses to Bea Arthur's grave? - Yes. But she's... - I don't wanna hear the end of sentences.", "c": ["Accountant", "Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "My 'Seven Words You Can't Say on TV' bit was entirely different from your bit.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "So I'm a thief, am I? Well, excuse me!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Come on. How about letting me go double or nothing on the opera tonight. - Who do you like? - The tenor.", "c": ["Krusty", "Bookie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Gambling is the finest thing a person can do if he's good at it.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Krusty's Monopoly game, the Krusty Crowd-Control Barrier.", "c": ["Accountant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "So, what do you think of the Lady Krusty Mustache-Removal System, Angelique? - It's Krusterrific, Johnny Unitas. But is my upper lip supposed to bleed like this? - Probably.", "c": ["Johnny Unitas", "Angelique"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I'll just cut back on the condor-egg omelets. A couple of those would be tasty right now.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "It must be the first of the month. New Billboard Day!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "'This year, give her English muffins.' Whatever you say, Mr. Billboard.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "'Best in the West.' That rhymes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Clown college. You can't eat that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I got everything I was supposed to get. I'm not going to enroll in that clown college, though. That advertisement had no effect on me whatsoever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Clowns are funny.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "That's it. You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I don't think any of us expected him to say that.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Hold still, Homer. Don't squirm. - I am holding still. I am squirming.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "He invented the pie fight, the pratfall and the seltzer bottle, as far as I know.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Yeah, Dad. It was bad enough when you tried to pass yourself off as Tom Bosley.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "You didn't complain when I got you this close to Chachi. - What's a chachi?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Those are supposed to be baggy pants. Baggy! - I've never had a pair of pants that fit this well in my life.", "c": ["Krusty", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Walla Walla, Keokuk, Cucamonga...Seattle. - Stop it. You're killing me. Seattle.", "c": ["Krusty", "Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "It's a great piece of buffoonery if you pull it off. But if you blow it, you'll look like a fool.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "'Kill wealthy dowager.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Burn that seat.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Get a cheap one, and what happens? Goes off! Takes out the eyeballs of every kid in the room. What's that gonna cost you?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "If there has to be a bastardized version of Krusty, I'm glad it's you.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Well, it was my major.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "You'll now go back to your hometowns and do kids' parties, swap meets, and the other piddling crap I wouldn't touch with a 10-foot clown pole.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Now come and get your catskins...I mean, sheepskins.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "This is the happiest day of my life... Got it. No shock for me. Oh, yeah?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Got it. No shock for me. - Oh, yeah?", "c": ["Homer", "Instructor"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "To audience. I now proclaim this new burger for sale.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Homer. Homer, it's all just an act. Stop. Stop. He's already dead.", "c": ["Manager"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Please look at my MedicAlert bracelet.", "c": ["Krusty Burglar actor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I'm a boy. - That's the spirit. Never give up.", "c": ["Child", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I don't know, Bart. My dad's a pretty big wheel down at the cracker factory.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "But when I see the smiles on their little faces...I just know they're getting ready to jab me with something.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Well, my time's almost up here. So I'd like to say I know Woody Allen.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Let's walk and talk. I have wonderful stories about other famous people that include me in some way.", "c": ["Dick Cavett"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "You're gonna have dinner with Groucho tonight if you don't beat it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Being a clown sucks. Kicked by kids, bit by dogs, and admired by the elderly.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I'm leaving the clowning business to the other clowns in the clowning business.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "How could I charge full price to the man whose lust for filthy magazines kept me in business during that first shaky year?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, here is your new issue of Gigantic Asses.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "If we agree, then why are we arguing?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Oh, I thought the Generals were due.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "He's spinning the ball on his finger. Just take it. Take the ball.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "That game was fixed. They were using a freaking ladder, for God's sake.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "So after you finish your performance, you might consider robbing them.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "You can't get blood from a turnip.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "When he's done in there, I gotta go.", "c": ["Legs"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Should I shoot him gangland-style or execution-style? - Listen to your heart.", "c": ["Mob Thug", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Speed holes. They make the car go faster. - Oh, yeah. Speed holes.", "c": ["Car Salesman", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I look exactly the same, you moron!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Lucky I always keep a Bible close to my heart...Lucky I was wearing this extra-large piece of the true cross today.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Actually, my name is Barney. Yeah, Barney Gumble.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I cannot do it. To murder a funnyman of such genius would be a crime.", "c": ["Don Vittorio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Hey, how about if I squirt you in the face with my boutonni\u00e8re? Okay.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm the greatest clown in the world.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I'm seeing double here. Four Krustys.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "I can't see, you idiot. Take your hands off my eyes.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Grazie. Grazie. You have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "No, no, Don Vittorio. You're not... - Yes, I am. I know it. I am.", "c": ["Homer", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Forty-eight dollars. - Here's 50. - And 2, your change. And we thank you.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 15, "et": "Homie The Clown"}, {"t": "Go, toothpaste. Go! Move your pasty, white butt! Come on, shampoo! You can do it!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "No fair. You only won because you had the inside track.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "It goes where it wants. Like me, babe.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "I'm singing in the show... Hot! Cold! Hot! Cold! Hot! Who's doing that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Ah, faithful toilet. You'll prove me right.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "So down there in, say, Argentina... or Rand McNally, all their water runs backwards?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "In fact, in Rand McNally, they wear hats on their feet... and hamburgers eat people.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Cool.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Please to repeat again, and I will translating for the el presidente.", "c": ["Foreign voice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "I can't get a straight answer out of this crazy hemisphere.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Yes, this is Dr. Bart Simpson of the International Drainage Commission. It's an emergency.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "We understand drains in your area have malfunctioned... sucking in people and whatnot.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Hey, Bart, the bakery caught fire and all of downtown smells like cookies. Want to go smell?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Yes. Yes, I do.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Nine hundred dollary-doos?!", "c": ["Bruno"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Who do they think I am, some stupid Aussie drongo?", "c": ["Bruno"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Hey, I think I hear a dingo eating your baby.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Hey, Gus! I got something to report to you!", "c": ["Bruno"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Aye, mates. What's the good word?", "c": ["Prime Minister"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Look at this country. 'You-are-gay.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Undersecretary for International Protocol, Brat and Punk Division.", "c": ["Evan Conover"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "I know those words, but that sign makes no sense.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "That's tough but fair. Boy, go with the man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "The prison train is sailing.", "c": ["Conover"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "I can handle that. I'm an expert at phony apologies.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "To combat homesickness, we have a device that makes them swirl the correct American way.", "c": ["Ambassador Ward"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Really? Look, boy. Now I'm in Australia. Now I'm in America. Australia. America.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Here in America, we don't tolerate that crap, sir.", "c": ["Marine Guard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "You call that a knife? This is a knife. That's not a knife. That's a spoon. All right, all right. You win. I see you've played knifie-spoonie before.", "c": ["Crocodile Dundee parody"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Something wrong, Yank? No. It's pretty big, I guess.", "c": ["Bartender", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "I'll just have a cup of coffee. Beer it is. No, I said, coffee. Beer? Coffee. Beer? C-O... B-E...", "c": ["Homer", "Bartender"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "What kind of a sick country would kick someone with a giant boot?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, shush. Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense.", "c": ["Conover"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "In America, we stopped using corporal punishment. And things have never been better. The streets are safe... old people strut confidently through the darkest alleys... and the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Now, as the old saying goes: 'Let your children run wild and free.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "That throwing stick stunt of yours has boomeranged on us.", "c": ["Conover"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Hey, we can get away in their pouches. It's not like in cartoons. Yeah. There's a lot more mucus.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "These bloody things are everywhere. They're in the lift, the lorry... in the bon whizzer, and the Malonga Gilderchuck.", "c": ["Australian man"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "We have them in America. They're called bullfrogs. What? That's an odd name. I'd have called them chazwazzers.", "c": ["Lisa", "Australian man"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "It's time for me to bend over and receive my destiny.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Thank you, Bart. I promise I won't make fun of you later for this.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "I'm impressed you were able to write so legibly on your own butt.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "No, sir. The closest vessel is the USS Walter Mondale. It's a laundry ship.", "c": ["Military officer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Well, that's what happens when you introduce foreign species... into an ecosystem that can't handle them.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 16, "et": "Bart Vs Australia"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer, how come you got money to burn? Or singe, anyway.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Pumpkins? Yeah, that's right, Barney. This year, I invested in pumpkins. They've been going up the whole month of October. And I got a feeling they're gonna peak right around January.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "And bang! That's when I'll cash in. To Homer! And to Sergeant Pepper... who's growing out of the middle of your back!", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Barn, you gotta unwrap the plastic before you smoke these.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "I told you a hundred times, you gotta sell your pumpkin futures before Halloween.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Let's not panic. I'll make the money back by selling a liver. I can get by with one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "My house is on fire! Insurance to the rescue!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Marge, we had a deal. Your sisters don't come here after 6, and I stop eating your lipstick.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "All right, that's the last straw. Time to take out the trash! But first, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. Homer doesn't mean to be rude. He's just a very complicated man. Wrong!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "When are you going to wake up and smell your husband, Marge? You got some kids out of him. But when the seeds have been planted, you throw away the envelope.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Hello, Vegas? Give me a hundred bucks on red. All right. I'll send you a check.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Mr. Simpson. This invention of yours has made us all rich, especially you. It's simple, yet ingenious. And it fits right in the palm of your hand. Every person in America now owns one of these. In many cases, three or four.", "c": ["Dream Businessman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Dream sequence where Homer invents something but can't see it", "c": ["Homer", "Dream Executive"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Why would you need to see it? You're the genius who invented the product.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "And who could forget dear Rat Boy? Rat Boy? I resent that. Bart, I told you before. Stop gnawing on the drywall.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "The sun is out, birds are singing... bees are trying to have sex with them, as I understand it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Too many wee ones!", "c": ["School Official"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Do you hear that, Bart? That was the tardy bell! 'Truant! Truant! Truant!' They'll all say!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "It's all right? It's all right. It's all right? It's all right.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "However, since you have no collateral... I'm gonna have to break your legs in advance.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Gosh, Moe. I use these all the time. Couldn't you bash my head in?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Ballet? Dancing is for girls. Well, you should've gotten here earlier.", "c": ["Bart", "School Official"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "It says here that you grabbed a dog by the hind legs... and pushed him like a vacuum. In the third grade!", "c": ["Bank Official", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Good luck finding it. I'll take the numbers off. We'll find a house with no numbers. I'll take off my neighbor's numbers. So then we'll look for the house next to the house with no numbers.", "c": ["Homer", "Bank Official"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "And to celebrate, I'm going to tilt my chair. Slanty.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Now, bring us extra chairs like a good 'blubber'-in-law. Time to fertilize the lawn. A couple of 500-pound bags should do it!", "c": ["Patty", "Selma", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Time to fertilize the lawn. A couple of 500-pound bags should do it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Be careful with my sisters' heads. Their necks are brittle.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Montreal Morn.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Now we own you, like Siegfried owns Roy.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. All we have is Nescaf\u00e9. I'm very, very sorry.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "I'm giving them a foot massage. At least let me have that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "You can either be a fairy or a queen. It's wide open.", "c": ["Ballet Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Ballet is for the strong, the fierce, the determined. But for the sissies, never. Now, put on this fuchsia-tard. You are a fairy!", "c": ["Russian Ballet Teacher"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Now, put on this fuchsia-tard. You are a fairy!", "c": ["Ballet Teacher"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "But so many of your heroes wear tights. Batman, for example. And Magellan.", "c": ["Russian Ballet Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Toes twinkling. Look at me, girls. I'm doing ballet. And I love it!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Am I wrong, or did it just get fatter in here?", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "You can't spell 'obsequious' without I-O-U.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Now say, 'I am Homer Simpson, the lowly dog.' In a dog voice!", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "He blew your savings on jack-o'-lanterns. You told!", "c": ["Patty or Selma", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "And at best, I was a B-plus dog.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Nobody make me any breakfast. A man so deeply in debt doesn't deserve it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "But I like to make you breakfast. In that case, I'll just have French toast with double butter and a side of bacon. But no powdered sugar, I don't deserve it. Maybe a little powdered sugar.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "No wonder I didn't hear about Bart being elected world's greatest sex machine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "I didn't turn it on, I thought you did. No. Well, anyway, turn it off. It is off.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "So it's okay for me to enjoy this.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy or similar character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "This reminds me of the movie Fame, and to a lesser extent, the TV series, which was also called Fame.", "c": ["Man in audience"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Oh, wow, I can't believe my very first passenger is comedy legend Mel Brooks. I loved that movie Young Frankenstein. Scared the hell out of me.", "c": ["Homer", "Mel Brooks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Sure! Sure we had. Of course, we was caves. But every cave had a national anthem. I'll never forget my cave's national anthem. What was that national anthem? Let them all go to hell except Cave 76", "c": ["Police Chief Wiggum doing 2000-year-old-man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Behold! The masked dancer is me, Bart! It is I who have won your acclaim!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Go ahead and laugh. I took a chance and did what I wanted to do. And if that makes me a sissy, well, then, I guess I'm a sissy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Bart, use the ballet. Leap! Leap like you've never leapt before!", "c": ["Ballet Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Well, as long as he's hurt.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Why'd she just leave me here when I clearly need medical attention?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Tested, Homer. God tested Moses. And try to be nice to my sisters.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Then I will hug some snakes. Yes! I will hug and kiss some poisonous snakes!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Now, that's sarcasm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Being a jerk. Minus a million!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Oh, you're talking about she... Who's? What? She... What, this?", "c": ["Patty and Selma"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Yes. I am in flavor country. Both of them? It's a big country.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Ladies, I apologize. And you, sir, are worse than Hitler.", "c": ["DMV Supervisor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "don't make me picture your hides.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "On top of everything else... don't make me picture your hides.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 17, "et": "Homer Vs Patty And Selma"}, {"t": "Don't eat pork, Not even with a fork, Can't touch this", "c": ["Rapping Rabbis"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Marge, are we Jewish? No, Homer.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "But first, we all stink. We all... Hey!", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "I'm telling you people, the Earth revolves around the sun.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, that's right. I'm crippled.", "c": ["FDR actor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Maps to movie stars' homes!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Excuse me, are you Drew Barrymore? What? Get out of here. I'm hung-over. Sorry, Miss Barrymore. What?", "c": ["Tourist", "Drew Barrymore"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "So we propose changing our name from Springfield to Seinfeld.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Young man, that appears to be a picture of your rear end.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "So long, suckers. This is the last time I use an escape plan devised by Milhouse. Sorry, Bart.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "The metric system is the tool of the devil!", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I likes it!", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "The old person's remarks will be stricken. Who said that?", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!", "c": ["Springfield crowd"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Homer in the Shower and Homer on the Toilet", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Relaxed fit, my Aunt Fanny. Stupid Dockers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Lights, camera...act-diddily-dotilly-doodilly action Jackson.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Flanders to God, Flanders to God, Get off your cloud and save my Todd", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Thanks, God. Okely-dokely.", "c": ["Todd Flanders", "God"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Did you know there are over 600 critics on TV and Leonard Maltin is the best-looking of them all?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "I wish I was dead.", "c": ["Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up? That's the joke.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle", "Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "You suck, McBain!", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Now my Woody Allen impression. I'm a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Hey, that really sucked!", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost $80 million.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "How do you sleep at night? On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.", "c": ["Jay Sherman", "Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside, so I lit a Q-Tip.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Look what you made me write.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Sherman, I just realized you insulted me. Now you will die.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Hey, nudnik, your shoe's untied. From here, they appear to be tied. But I will go in for a closer look.", "c": ["Jay Sherman", "Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "On closer inspection, these are Loafers.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "I saw your hair from the plane.", "c": ["Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "It was a gummy bear.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "I smell another cheap cartoon crossover.", "c": ["Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "I suddenly feel so dirty.", "c": ["Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "I ought to club them and eat their bones.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "A slick Hollywood picture to gloss over my evil rise to power like Bugsy or Working Girl.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Get his nonunion Mexican equivalent.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Listen, Se\u00f1or Spielbergo...", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We're both factory owners. We both made shells for the Nazis. But mine worked, damn it.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Well, it's not like I carry them around with me. Oh, look, here's my People's Choice Award. Five Golden Globes... Where's my Emmy?", "c": ["Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I won the belching contest at work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Wow, how many Pulitzer Prize winners can do that? Just me and Eudora Welty.", "c": ["Homer", "Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "So then I said to Woody Allen, 'Well, Camus can do, but Sartre is smartre.'", "c": ["Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, Scooby-Doo can doo-doo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't know. Harvey Fierstein.", "c": ["Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "MacGyver's gay.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you?", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Why did it take you so long to say yes?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Are you humoring me? / Yes. / Okay. Wait a minute. That's bad!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, That is what I'd truly like to be, 'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, Everyone would be in love with me", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "That's it, Marge. He knows the whole hot-dog song. Go ahead, sleep with him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "It's just you and me now, lock of hair. You don't have to do this.", "c": ["Homer", "Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, it's hopeless. I'll have to play myself.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Help! Help! Police! Hey, I got problems of my own right now. Oh, boy. This is gonna get worse before it gets better.", "c": ["Apu", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Money gets you one more round / Drink it down, you stupid clown / Money gets you one more round / You're out on your ass", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "This contest is over. Give that man the $10,000!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos. But the ball, his groin. It works on so many levels.", "c": ["Jay Sherman", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "My name is Barney Gumble. I'm 40, I'm single, and I drink.", "c": ["Barney Gumble"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "There's a line in Othello about a drinker. Now a sensible man, by and by a fool, and presently a beast. That pretty well covers it.", "c": ["Barney Gumble"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Did something crawl down your throat and die? It didn't die.", "c": ["Girl Scout", "Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting. Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?", "c": ["Girl Scout", "Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Don't cry for me. I'm already dead.", "c": ["Barney Gumble"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "We did 20 takes, and that was the best one.", "c": ["Se\u00f1or Spielbergo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Smithers, are they booing me? No. They're saying, 'Boo-urns, Boo-urns.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "I was saying, 'Boo-urns.'", "c": ["Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Coming, Eudora!", "c": ["Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Like the Miss Teen America pageant.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Let's just say it moved me to a bigger house!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet. Oh, dear.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Barney's movie had heart. But Football in the Groin had a football in the groin.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Barney's movie had heart. But Football in the Groin had a football in the groin.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Wow, I'll never drink another beer. Beer here. I'll take 10.", "c": ["Barney Gumble", "Duffman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "You know something, Marge? It's not that tough being a film cricket.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Barney. And enjoy your grand prize... a lifetime supply of Duff Beer. / Just hook it to my veins!", "c": ["Marge", "Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Just hook it to my veins!", "c": ["Barney Gumble"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "This has spring snakes inside, but the suckers will think it's beer nuts. Beer nuts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Marge, look. This has spring snakes inside, but the suckers will think it's beer nuts. / Beer nuts.", "c": ["Homer", "Jay Sherman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "I've got to win this one. I bribed everyone in Hollywood.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "George C. Scott in Man Getting Hit by Football.", "c": ["Oscar presenter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Burns"}, {"t": "Zounds! I did thee mightily smitely.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "\"Zounds\" is a Renaissance English word, short for \"God's wounds\"... but \"smitely,\" that's pure Flanders.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "These Renaissance fairs are so boring. / Oh, really? Did you see the loom?", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I took loom in high school.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Yon meat 'tis sweet as summer's wafting breeze... Mine ears are open to the pleas of those who speak ye old English.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Whatever.", "c": ["Food vendor"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I've eaten eight different meats. I'm a true Renaissance man.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Behold the rarest of the rare... the mythological two-headed hound, born with only one head.", "c": ["Carnival barker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "A horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit.", "c": ["Carnival barker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "It's galloping away. Here, bunny-bunny. Here, bunny. Here, \"esquilax.\"", "c": ["Carnival barker"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I've been waiting for you, Lisa. / How did you know my name? / Your nametag.", "c": ["Fortune teller", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Wow, you can see into the present.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "The happy squirrel. / That's bad? / Possibly. The cards are vague and mysterious.", "c": ["Fortune teller", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Hey, watch it. / Watch it. / That man is instantly the most annoying person I've ever met.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Hugh Parkfield"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "A soy-based snack will calm me down.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I read at a 78th-grade level.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "First, they hate each other. All of a sudden, they love each other. Oh, it doesn't make any sense to me. / Of course not. You're a robot.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I never met anyone who so understood the magic of Jim Carrey. He can make you laugh with no more than a frantic flailing of his limbs.", "c": ["Hugh Parkfield"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Yes. Not for their music but for their tireless efforts to preserve historic buildings.", "c": ["Hugh Parkfield"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Yes. It's a good thing they re-evaluated those wacky old designs.", "c": ["Hugh Parkfield"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Should I laugh? Was that dry British wit or subtle self-pity? They're staring at me. Better respond.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Actually, Lisa, it's just Uncle Eldred. / I get me brain medicines from the National Health.", "c": ["Hugh Parkfield", "Uncle Eldred"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Remember, an elevator is a 'lift,' a mile is called a 'kilometer,' and botulism is 'steak-and-kidney pie.'", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "But he left for work a few minutes ago.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I just got a touch of the rheumatiz.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "They're finally paying me for this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Lisa? My one true love. It's not you, Milhouse. I just don't plan to ever get married.", "c": ["Milhouse Van Houten", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Lisa? My one true love. It's not you, Milhouse. I just don't plan to ever get married.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Why not have the whole wedding there. We'll do it on a Monday morning. There'll be fewer drunks.", "c": ["Barney Gumble"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "'Whereas Homer Simpson...' Well, these seem to be in order. I'll be in the hammock.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for 17 stab wounds in the back. How we doing, boys? / Well, we're up to 15.", "c": ["Smithers", "Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "If you have three Pepsis and drink one, how much more refreshed are you?", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "It must be Lisa Simpson. Of course, Martin Prince perished in that science-fair explosion. / Not quite perished, my lady love. Although some days I wish I had.", "c": ["Teacher", "Martin Prince"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "No. Look at this license. I'm Mohamed Jafar. / Quimby, after this fare, get your indicted ass to the convention center.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Dispatcher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "As long as they're not squatting in a ditch, poking berries up their noses. / And if they are? / Here they come. Raise the flag.", "c": ["Hugh Parkfield", "Lisa Simpson", "Hugh Parkfield"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "If the building inspector comes by, it's not a room, it's a window box.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I also crush cars into cubes. On the side, I promote local tough-man contests. I'm getting out all my aggression till I go to law school.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm getting out all my aggression till I go to law school.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Heather Locklear Fortensky remains at large.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "You know, we saved your ass in World War II. Well, we saved your ass in World War III.", "c": ["Barfly", "Hugh"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "You know, Fox turned into a hardcore-sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.", "c": ["Moe Szyslak"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "When we hid in the Dumpster... after the fire alarm went off in the pornographic-magazine warehouse.", "c": ["Hugh"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, Milhouse doesn't count.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, Milhouse doesn't count.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I met a really nice exotic dancer at Hugh's bachelor party. / Hugh didn't have a bachelor party. / We had one in his honor. / I had one in his honor.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I had one in his honor. I went to a strip club.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Octopussy. Man, I must have seen that movie twice.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I can't feel anything below my cummerbund.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I always felt you were the best thing my name ever got attached to.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "Since you learned to pin your own diapers, you've been smarter than me.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I was just humoring him. Actually, he frightens me a bit.", "c": ["Hugh Parkfield"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I've attempted to enjoy your family on a personal level, on an ironic level, as a novelty, as camp, as kitsch, as cautionary example. Nothing works.", "c": ["Hugh Parkfield"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "You're like a flower that grew out of dirt.", "c": ["Hugh Parkfield"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "It never would've happened if the wedding was in the church with God instead of out here in the cheap showiness of nature.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "But I specialize in foretelling the relationships where you get jerked around.", "c": ["Fortune teller"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "I ate seven pounds of fudge. The man at the stand said it was a record.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 19, "et": "Lisas Wedding"}, {"t": "In today's news, a 2-ton rhino escaped from the Springfield Zoo. But zoo officials were quick to act...and Petunia, as she is known, is safely back in captivity. In other news, a 3-ton rhino...that escaped from the zoo last week is still at large.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Who spread garbage all over Flanders' yard before I got a chance to?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Oh, please. This is senseless destruction...with none of my usual social commentary.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "He's lucky too...because it's spanking season, and I got a hankering for some spankering.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "My Best of Ray Stevens, featuring 'The Streak,' album.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! He's got the precious cable-TV cable!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations...as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Well, I'll be damned.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "I'll tell you what I'm telling everyone else. I'm sorry if your dog went blind, but your gripe is with Hartz Mountain, not me.", "c": ["Pet Store Clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Let me try a canine-human mind meld. It's an incredibly rare psychic power possessed only by me...and three other clerks at this store.", "c": ["Pet Store Clerk"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "I'm bored. I'm restless. Need change in life...like imported leather leash...blue contact lenses...200-volt-shock training collar.", "c": ["Pet Store Clerk", "Santa's Little Helper"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Don't worry. We'll catch him or run him over trying.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Don't worry, when they find out he doesn't have money...they'll throw him out. Believe me, I know.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Two bucks to win on number eight.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "You're lucky you got looks, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Yes! Come on, you little horse!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Looks like he's trying to jump over her, but he can't quite make it.", "c": ["Race Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "So that's what's been wrong with the little fella. He misses casual sex.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Won't you miss her loyalty and companionship?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Lady, you're all right.", "c": ["Track Owner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Me and Santa's Little Helper used to be a team. But he never wants to play anymore since his bitch moved in.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Well, I'm going to write the dictionary people and have that checked. Feels like a mistake to me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Hey, look. A really small dog just fell out of Santa's girlfriend.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, girl. I thought you were just getting fat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Twenty-five.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "An army of dogs! No bully will ever touch me again.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Hey, jerkface. You have the face of a jerk.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Say, Jimbo...hope I wasn't out of line with that 'jerkface' crack.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Yes. We waited many years...but the good Lord has finally blessed us with a real family.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Look at Branford II. Isn't that cute? He thinks he's one of the Models Inc.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Mom, why do I have to wear a flea collar?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Oh, it's just easier this way.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Are you just putting new newspapers over the old ones?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Do you have a better idea?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Yeah, they ate all my socks. I have to wear Lisa's to school today.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Is that what we do in this family? When someone becomes an inconvenience, we just get rid of them?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Hello? Is anybody there?", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "On a completely unrelated topic...I'm having a very, very important dinner party tonight.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Reverend Lovejoy, your old Army drill sergeant...and the regional director of the IRS.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "The whole town will hear what a perfect evening this was. How nothing at all went wrong.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "And to the delectable turkey...that's walking around the table!", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, it's a demon bird.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "See you in hell. From heaven.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "We could use a new pet over at the home...seeing how we accidentally killed that smart-mouthed bird.", "c": ["Retirement Home Worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "And I know the little fellas would love romping around my many acres...chasing my many cars...drinking from my many toilets.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "She's right, Homer. There's something about his face I don't trust.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "A little too well, if you ask me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Honestly, sir, you don't put the effort into your schemes that you used to.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I'm dusting for prints.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "You know who it reminds me of?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Some men hunt for sport, Others hunt for food, The only thing I'm hunting for, Is an outfit that looks good", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Some men hunt for sport, Others hunt for food, The only thing I'm hunting for Is an outfit that looks good", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "See my vest, See my vest, Made from real gorilla chest", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Like my loafers? Former gophers. It was that or skin my chauffeurs", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "I really like the vest.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Sorry. You gotta admit, it's catchy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "No. What are you doing? Dogs always land on their feet.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Best two out of three.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "That's impossible. How did you get here first?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Here's a phone. Call somebody who cares.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "This can't be happening. They're all standing.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "But they're so wretchedly adorable. Twenty-five little Rory Calhouns.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Look at you, standing there on your hind legs...like a couple of Rory Calhouns.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "I swear, I'll never wear any clothing made from an animal...that can do an amusing trick.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "I'll bet whoever gave him those dogs is kicking themselves now.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "Marge, you know that batting this light bulb is the only thing...that cheers me up after giving away those million-dollar greyhounds.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 20, "et": "Two Dozen And One Greyhounds"}, {"t": "This bus has seen better days. Well, at least it's safer than the old bus.", "c": ["Otto", "Student"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.14, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Time to move. The hole's getting bigger.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Seymour, the children are playing in the hole again. Shouldn't you get that fixed? Edna, you know they just cut the school's budget. If I had the money, I'd fix the exhaust leak. I think it's causing some of our low test scores.", "c": ["Edna", "Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "But it's a good thing we're not firing it because it happens to be aimed at the main support leg of that lookout tower.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "People don't realize that these cannons are very sensitive and the slightest jolt could set them off. Of course, for safety reasons we don't keep the cannon loaded. It's just common sense.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "And a mint for afterwards. Five dollars a child? Last year it was free! New ownership.", "c": ["Otto", "Admission Person"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Here's the admission, plus something for you. See that they get a little extra education. Yes, sir, Principal Valiant! He thinks he's so hot ever since he swept the Princi Awards. Those things are rigged.", "c": ["Principal Valiant", "Skinner", "Tour Guide"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "On May 21, 1864, the men of the 9th Bearded Infantry were sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Fort Springfield, we surrender unconditionally! We're sick! We need leeches and hacksaws to saw off our gangrenous limbs. But the Springfield brigade was too brave to accept their surrender.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Come on, boys. Those white flags are no match for our muskets! Charge! And the Springfielders heroically slaughtered their enemies as they prayed for mercy.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "It's hard to see what's going on. I can only make out the fat soldiers.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Hey, they're trying to learn for free!", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Get them! Use your phony guns as clubs! Run, children. Start the bus, Otto! Start the bus! Damn! I shouldn't have eaten the mint first.", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Skinner", "Otto"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Seymour, because of your penny-pinching we're coming back from a field trip with the fewest children yet.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "God bless the man who invented permission slips.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "I think I got your lunch. I didn't think this was for me.", "c": ["Student", "Student"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "I don't care what you say, I can taste the newspaper. Shredded newspapers add much-needed roughage and essential inks.", "c": ["Edna", "Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Besides, you didn't notice the old gym mats. There's very little meat in these gym mats.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, Edna! We both know these children have no future!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Prove me wrong, kids. Prove me wrong.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Strike, eh? My bones are so brittle. But I always drink plenty of 'malk'?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "This pointer's so old, it's worn down to a nub. It still points, doesn't it?", "c": ["Edna", "Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "The only books we have are ones that were banned by other schools. Well, the kids have to learn about Tek War sooner or later.", "c": ["Edna", "Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "I saw you two fighting. I'm worried there could be a strike and the school would shut down. I'm sure you'd really hate that.", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Skinner said you wouldn't go through with it. Well, I had to clean it up a little. But basically, Krabappel said you'd give the teachers everything they want. She did? Yeah. She said you'd fold faster than Superman on laundry day.", "c": ["Bart", "Edna", "Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Simpson, I always thought you were sneaky and manipulative. Now I see you're really a very sensitive little boy.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "That's it! Strike!", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "I'd like to get down now.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Hey, now that Largo's gone, we can play the forbidden music.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "I heard that!", "c": ["Largo"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Great news, Mom! Horrible news, Mom! The school's on strike! Maybe forever. Overload. Pleasure overload.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Overload. Pleasure overload.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Sit up straight. Eyes forward. No talking. Is that gum? Is that gum? Is that gum?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Bart, leave that crowbar here. You know I don't like you prying and jimmying.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "You, at the crane! Spin around real fast! Now, you! Dump 3 tons of sand onto that Porta-Potty.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Hey! Can't you tell my voice from a 10-year-old kid's?", "c": ["Construction Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Hey, that little boy is playing three games at once. Checkmate. Checkmate. Checkmate. Dang.", "c": ["Arcade Patron", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Lousy teachers, trying to palm off our kids on us. Dad, by striking, they're trying to change management so they can be happier and more productive. Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent or... Only two synonyms? Oh, my God! I'm losing my perspicacity!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Well, it's always in the last place you look.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Good news, people! I'm happy to announce another union has joined us in a sympathy strike! The Piano Tuners Local 412!", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "You know, I heard Skinner say the teachers will crack any minute. Skinner said we'll crack, purple monkey dishwasher.", "c": ["Bart", "Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Especially for that 'purple monkey dishwasher' remark.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "I found a hive of killer bees. You want to go throw rocks at it? Sorry, Bart. I'm deeply immersed in the Teapot Dome scandal. However, it might be feasible in a fortnight.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "I can play in two weeks.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "All this free time. I never thought I'd get sick of Razor Fight II, The Slashening. I probably should stop. My doctor says I have the wrists of an 80-year-old.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "What do you mean, the bank is out of money? Insolvent? You only have enough cash for the next three customers? Just a second here. No, no. I don't have your money here. It's in Bill's house, and Fred's house.", "c": ["Bank Employee"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 5.29, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Hey, what the hell you doing with my money in your house, Fred?", "c": ["Bank Customer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Grade me! Look at me! Evaluate and rank me! I'm good, good, good and, oh, so smart! Grade me!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "This morning, I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat. I know. And this perpetual-motion machine she made today is a joke. It just keeps going faster and faster.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "And this perpetual-motion machine she made today is a joke. It just keeps going faster and faster.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome. Hello, Mother dear.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Hello, Mother dear.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "This is a dilly of a pickle. Oh, my God! The PTA has disbanded! No, no! The PTA has not disbanded.", "c": ["Ned", "Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Replace teachers with superintelligent cyborgs. Or, if cyborgs aren't invented yet, use people from the neighborhood.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Talking out of turn, that's a paddling. Looking out the window, that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals, that's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe, you better believe that's a paddling.", "c": ["Jasper"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Talking out of turn, that's a paddling. Looking out the window, that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals, that's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe, you better believe that's a paddling.", "c": ["Jasper"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Yes? What is it? What? What is it? Can I play with it? No, you can't play with it. You won't enjoy it on as many levels as I do.", "c": ["Professor Frink", "Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Anita Bath. All right. Settle down. Anita Bath here? All right, fine. Fine. Maya Buttreeks.", "c": ["Substitute Teacher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.77, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, I get it. I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that.", "c": ["Substitute Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "All right. You listen up, you little freaks! The fun stops here. You're gonna shut your stinking traps and behave, damn it! This is one substitute you're not gonna screw with!", "c": ["Leopold"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Hey, Bart, what about the booby trap? May I? Thank you. Mama's boy! Teacher's pet! Teacher's pet! I meant the other booby trap.", "c": ["Student", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Kids have been doing that one since my day.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Marge, anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "I've had just about enough of your Vassar-bashing, young lady!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "I hate it when he gets in there.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "'Here you go, precious.' That's a very nice jig, Kearney. Now, isn't dancing much more fun than bullying? Yeah.", "c": ["Student", "Marge", "Kearney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "They're like two positively charged ions. Wait, that's it. With your book smarts and my ability to exploit people with book smarts we can figure out a plan to get them back together.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "Yo. I used to sit right over there. It's all right, children. Just ignore the murderer. And as a bonus, some of our more troublesome students might be scared straight. Kid, help me break out of here. I'll totally make it worth your while. I'm listening.", "c": ["Prisoner", "Skinner", "Prisoner", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "It's all right, children. Just ignore the murderer. And as a bonus, some of our more troublesome students... might be scared straight.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 21, "et": "The Pta Disbands"}, {"t": "His sexual-harassment suit.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "You're hot. Let's get some dinner after the show. / I have dinner with all my employees. Right, Sideshow Mel? / We've never spoken outside of work.", "c": ["Krusty", "Ms. No-Means-No", "Sideshow Mel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Wasn't my fault. It was the Percodan. / If you ask me, that stuff rots your brain. / And now a word from my new sponsor. / Percodan?! Oh, crap!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "The guy who chopped up George Washington?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Like when a sign says, 'Do not feed the bears'... man, you'd better not feed the bears.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "'No teacher shall be held accountable if Bart Simpson dies.' / We're also absolved if Milhouse gets eaten by the school snake.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Hey, cool, there's a rabbit in here.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Budget cuts. They've even got Groundskeeper Willie teaching French.", "c": ["Lunchlady Doris"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Your choice: Manic-Depressive Mouse or the Bluebird of Unhappiness.", "c": ["Lunchlady Doris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Oh, look, here comes Lumpy, the school snake. / Help! Help! / Oh, Lord.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Milhouse", "Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Well, in many cases, the floor is the best... Oh, look, here comes Lumpy, the school snake.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "This boy's appendix is inflamed and about to burst... which will make it easier to find once I get in there.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Homer, this is an operation. / Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here!", "c": ["Marge", "Hot dog vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Maybe if I fiddle with these knobs. / Hey, I smell gas. / Pleasant gas. / Night-night gas.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "A jagged, metal cereal O.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Dr. Hibbert, can I have my appendix out? / Why not. Follow me, kids. / Nurse, prep these children.", "c": ["Lisa", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "How'd you get a name like that? / Let me put it this way. You ever been to the dentist? / Yeah. / Not me.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bleeding Gums Murphy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm Dr. Cheeks. / I'm doing my rounds, and I'm a little behind.", "c": ["Dr. Cheeks"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.01, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "He used to laugh at the most inappropriate times. / I've got an older brother that I'll never see. / He's a jazz musician or some such. Oh, well. Bye-bye.", "c": ["Bleeding Gums Murphy", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "This isn't a saxophone, it's an umbrella. / So I've played a umbrella for 30 years? / Why didn't anybody tell me? / We all thought it was funny.", "c": ["Blind Willy Witherspoon", "Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "How to Make Love to Steve Allen. From the author of Happiness Is a Naked Steve Allen... Journey to the Center of Steve Allen and The Joy of Cooking Steve Allen.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "I cut my first and only album, Sax on the Beach.", "c": ["Bleeding Gums Murphy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "I'd like another Faberg\u00e9 egg, please. / Sir, don't you think you've had enough? / I'll tell you when I've had enough!", "c": ["Bleeding Gums Murphy", "Shopkeeper"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Hey, kids. Meet Grandpa Murphy. / But we have three grandpas already. / This one is a great jazz musician. / They all are.", "c": ["Bill Cosby", "Cosby Kids"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "You see, the kids, they listen to the rap music... which gives them the brain damage. With their hipping and the hopping and the bipping and the bopping.", "c": ["Bill Cosby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "You see, jazz is like a Jell-O Pudding Pop. / No. Actually, it's more like Kodak film. / No. Actually, jazz is like the New Coke. / It'll be around forever.", "c": ["Bill Cosby"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "I contend the tourists were decapitated... before they entered the Krustyland House of Knives.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Oh, boy! This thing is shredding my insides! / Krusty, that wasn't the metal one. That was a regular Krusty-O. / It's poison.", "c": ["Krusty", "Aide"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "I stopped brushing my teeth so I can play just like you.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Barney, this is a five-minute chip. It's worth a Pabst.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "And with a flute up his nose, Ralph Wiggum.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Hopefully not forever.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "This sucks.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Well, it's like the time that your cat, Snowball, got run over. / Remember, honey? / Yeah. / What I'm saying is, all we have to do... is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "If it helps, I believe that after you die... you can come back as whatever you want. / I'll be a butterfly. / How come? / Because nobody ever suspects the butterfly.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "I didn't burn down the school. / It was the butterfly, I tell you. The butterfly! / He's crazy, boys. Get the Taser.", "c": ["Ralph", "Police"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "There it is. Death! / It's only Maggie. / Oh, yeah. / Death! / That's only the cat. / Death! / That's Maggie again, Grampa.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "Lisa"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "'Starland Vocal Band'? They suck! / Death!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "No! It was Bleeding Gums Murphy. / Anyway, Bloody Gums Murphy was quite the sousaphone player... / Saxophone! He was a jazz musician.", "c": ["Lisa", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "What do you do, follow my husband around? / Lady, he's putting my kids through college.", "c": ["Marge", "Hot dog vendor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Albert Dershman, who can hold three billiard balls in his mouth.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Five hundred dollars on red. / The winner is black. / Cool.", "c": ["Bart", "Casino worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Jazz. They just make it up as they go along. I could do that. / That's 'Mary Had a Little Lamb.' / Okay, then this: / That's the same thing. You just replaced 'dees' with 'do's.'", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Our broadcast range is only 23 feet... which makes us the most powerful jazz station in the entire U.S. Of A.", "c": ["DJ"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Hello. This is 'Moleman in the Morning.' Good Moleman to you. / Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain... in which I live every day.", "c": ["Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Behold the ultimate Pog.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "You must avenge my death, Kimba. I mean, Simba. / Luke, I am your father. / This is CNN.", "c": ["Bleeding Gums Murphy", "Mufasa", "Darth Vader", "CNN announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "Will you guys pipe down? I'm saying goodbye to Lisa. / We're sorry.", "c": ["Bleeding Gums Murphy", "Other ghosts"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "One more time! / Oh, come on, Lisa. / I got a date with Billie Holiday.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bleeding Gums Murphy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 22, "et": "Round Springfield"}, {"t": "They're butchering the classics. Could that bassoon have come in any more late?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "John Williams must be rolling around in his grave.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Devil-iciously satirical. I wonder if anyone else got that.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Be careful. These are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle-class types.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "I, like, totally won again. Way to go, bro! He looks and acts just like the dealer. I think they're related, or at least in cahoots.", "c": ["Shill", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "You're giving three-card monte a bad name!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "How dare you prey on the greedy and stupid like this!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Yes. It is exhilarating to see police get their man and save a hysterical woman.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Well, it was pretty exciting. But celery soup's pretty exciting too.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Strange. Regular ham doesn't thrill me anymore. I'm crossing over to deviled ham.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Thanks, Benevenstanciano", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "What? What? What? This better be about pizza.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Welcome aboard. You did what?!", "c": ["Police Chief", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Which makes me the woman. And I have no interest in that. Besides occasionally wearing the underwear...which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name. I've had it up to here with your 'rules'!", "c": ["Police Instructor", "Recruit"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Women always have trouble with the wall. They never seem to find the door.", "c": ["Police Instructor"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Oh. Sorry, Simpson. You'll have to do the course again. I was trying to get this Magic Eye thing to work. Look at that. A pony.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Homer, give me my pepper spray! Oh, Marge. One squirt and you're south of the border. Incapacitating.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "When they fry up a fresh batch, call it in. Keneally and Earhart, back them up. Fitz and Garcia, it's your turn to sleep in.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "And, Simpson...seeing how this is your first day...you're inexperienced and vulnerable...your beat is Junkyville and Bumtown.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "I'll have you know the contents of that dumpster are private. You stick your nose in, you'll be violating attorney-dumpster confidentiality.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "What will it be? One hundred? Two hundred? Two hundred. No, no. I mean, nothing. I don't take bribes!", "c": ["Apu", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "There's an inflatable bath pillow that Mother and I both enjoy. She claimed it was her day to use it. I said she was mistaken. We quarreled. Later, as I prepared to bathe...I noticed, to my horror, that someone...had slashed the pillow.", "c": ["Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Well, I could send it back to Taiwan for repair. But why should I have to? I've done nothing wrong! And I don't give permission for my face to be on TV. I want it blurred.", "c": ["Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "I just hope they have Us magazine in heaven. He said it was his day to use the tub pillow! I can't go to the library anymore. Everybody stinks.", "c": ["Citizens"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Well, these days, my roots don't stay so chestnut on their own, Officer Simpson.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Fooled you, Flanders. Made you think your family was dead! Did you get it? They're not, though. But you thought they were. That's why it was so funny. But they're not.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Mom, I know your intentions are good. But aren't police a force that maintains the status quo for the wealthy elite? Don't you think we should attack social problems...instead of jamming people into overcrowded prisons?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "But aren't police a force that maintains the status quo for the wealthy elite?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Look, Lisa! It's McGriff the Crime Dog. Hello, Lisa. Help me bite crime.", "c": ["Marge", "McGriff"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Being a cop husband is one mighty sweet deal. This police radio entertains me with other people's miseries...we get a free funeral for Marge, God forbid...and I can run background checks on whomever I want, Momar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Being a cop husband is one mighty sweet deal. This police radio entertains me with other people's miseries... we get a free funeral for Marge, God forbid... and I can run background checks on whomever I want", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Please, please. Lx-nay on the Omar-may.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Illegal gambling in my house? Your house? Your house? Gee, it's so glamorously decorated, I thought I was in Vegas. Hey, you guys lied to me! You said it was Vegas!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Your house? Your house? Gee, it's so glamorously decorated, I thought I was in Vegas", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Hey, you guys lied to me! You said it was Vegas!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "You were a cleaner of pots, a sewer of buttons, an unplugger of hairy clogs. I'm still all those things. Only now I'm cleaning up the city, sewing together the social fabric...and unplugging the clogs of our legal system.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "I'm still all those things. Only now I'm cleaning up the city, sewing together the social fabric... and unplugging the clogs of our legal system", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "I'll be right back. Now keep your eyes peeled for a real cop.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do, huh? 'I'm Officer Marge. I'm gonna arrest you.' Whoa! What?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "I choose to waive that right", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "But he ate my last meal", "c": ["Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail?", "c": ["Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "I'm drawing a line down the center of the house, \u00e0 la I Love Lucy", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy...I thought it'd be fun and exciting. You know, like that movie Spaceballs. Instead it's been painful and disturbing, like that movie Police Academy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "The garage. Hey, fellas! The garage. Well, la-di-da, Mr. Frenchman. Well, what do you call it? A car hole.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "What better place to make the buy...than in a cop's garage, where no one would suspect a thing? Herman, I had to come out here to see what's so funny. A counterfeit-jeans ring operating out of my car hole!", "c": ["Criminal", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "But what about the victims? Hardworking designers like Calvin Klein, Gloria Vanderbilt or Antoine Bugle Boy? These are the people who saw an overcrowded marketplace...and said, 'Me too!'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "It's too late for me, Marge! Sell the jeans and live like a queen!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Looks like your wife is embarking up the wrong tree.", "c": ["Herman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "So long. Gotta catch the 501", "c": ["Criminal"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Foiled by my own shoddy merchandise! Years of buying pants for children and a full-seated husband...has given me a sixth sense for shoddy stitching...which these jeans have in spades.", "c": ["Herman", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Years of buying pants for children and a full-seated husband... has given me a sixth sense for shoddy stitching", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Looking good, boys. That's it. There's too much corruption on this force. I quit.", "c": ["Officers", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "Well, that does it. That does it. I'm looking at his cards. Crap. I fold", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 23, "et": "The Springfield Connection"}, {"t": "\"Wet cement.\" Is there any sweeter sign? Well, maybe \"high voltage.\"", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Hello, son. You want to try this flying motorcycle I just invented? - No time. - Okay.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Like Stonehenge, this site will forever be a mystery. Who was Bart? And how did he manage to write his name in solid cement?", "c": ["Future archaeologist"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "He must've been smarter than his sister Lisa, about whom we know nothing.", "c": ["Future archaeologist"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Ay caramba!", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "What's normal to him amazes us. - He will be our new god.", "c": ["Future people"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Good, somebody's shadow. I'll just turn and brag about my work.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "What would Jebediah Springfield say? - He'd be cool with it.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Bart, you've graffito-tagged public property. It was an accident.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "What for? Nobody cared when Bogart defaced that sidewalk in Hollywood.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "It's been going down since the lake caught fire.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Mom, when you give that lecture, you're boring Springfield.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Sorry to repeat myself, but it'll help you remember.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Wow, that does work.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "When it comes to catching trout, nothing beats the German light infantry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Beautiful, aren't they? - Yep. I'm gonna huck them at cars.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "It's clearly booming, Bart.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "I don't even want any. I just bought a pity glass.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "We've squozen our whole supply.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Thar she grows.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Good friends, lots of lemons, numerous angel sightings.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Springfield sucks.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Why don't you make me. - I don't make trash, I burn it.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Then I guess you're a garbage man. - I know you are, but what am I?", "c": ["Shelbyville kid", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Takes one to know one. - Checkmate.", "c": ["Bart", "Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Stop wearing your backpack over one shoulder. We invented that.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "I'll kick your butt... at Nintendo.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "I just put a rock in your crummy town. - That's a crud rock. It belongs in Crudtown.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Look at the weak little baby. You're stupid, you stupid, weak baby.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.48, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody, an old man's talking.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "...govern justly and grow vast fields of hemp for making rope and blankets.", "c": ["Jebediah Springfield"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Yes, and marry our cousins. - I was... What are you talking about, Shelbyville?", "c": ["Shelbyville Manhattan", "Jebediah Springfield"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Because they're so attractive. I thought that was the whole point of this journey.", "c": ["Shelbyville Manhattan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Well, then we'll form our own town. Who will come and live a life devoted to chastity, abstinence... and a flavorless mush I call rootmarm?", "c": ["Jebediah Springfield"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "...lemons being the sweetest fruit available at the time.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "If you don't learn Roman numerals... you'll never know when movies were copyrighted.", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Whatever. I tried.", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "No. I said there's no time to explain, and I stick by that.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Oh, they're always eating candy in Shelbyville. They love the sweet taste.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "We'll get it back or choke their rivers with our dead.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "I choose to take that literally. - Death to Shelbyville!", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Yes, Bart's a tutor now. Tute on, son. - Tute on.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Nelson's the tough guy. Martin's the smart guy. Todd's the religious guy who ends up going crazy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "If you get lost, remember... you can always find east by staring directly at the sun.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Put a pinch of sage in your boots... and all day long, a spicy scent is your reward.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "The fire hydrants here are yellow. This place is starting to freak me out.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Radical. - They're getting rich off us. And that kid with the backpack said \"radical.\" I say \"radical.\" That's my thing that I say.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Good idea. Milhouse, you and me will be Omega Team. Todd, you and Data are Team Strike Force. Nelson, that leaves you and Martin. - Team Discovery Channel.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Your wussiness better come in handy.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "But if they show up in the morgue, he's gonna fax us.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Honey, I was born in Shelbyville. - And it tears me up inside.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "If anything turned him bad... it's that time you let him wear a bathing suit instead of underwear.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Pile in, everybody. No time to wipe your feet. - Come on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "This is Country Time Lemonade Mix. There's never been anything close to a lemon in it. I swear.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Hey. And no one manhandles the bosom chum of Nelson Muntz.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Spring forth, burly protector, and save me.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "I never hang out with him, normally.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Hark to the tale of Nelson And the boy he loved so dear / They remained the best of friends For years and years and years", "c": ["Shelbyville kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "I thought you said you could read lips. - I assumed I could.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "You leave that to the baron and me.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "I don't go to school. - Okay, what's two plus two? - Five. - Story checks out.", "c": ["Bart", "Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Radical. - Quit copying me.", "c": ["Bart", "Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "No, not in my mouth... is what the kid would say.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Maybe that's why we beat them at football nearly half the time, huh?", "c": ["Shelbyville resident"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Yes. And that wig makes him look a lot like one of the Beatles.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "I'll use these spray cans as jetpacks and fly to safety. So long, losers.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Hey, look. Someone's attractive cousin. - Where? Where? - I don't see anybody.", "c": ["Bart", "Shelbyville kids"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Slow down, you sidewalk-surfing cube-gleamers.", "c": ["Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "\"Wet cement.\"", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "I could sure use that flying motorcycle now. - You had your chance.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "\"All other rooms contain man-eating tigers.\"", "c": ["Sign"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Roman numerals. They never even tried to teach us that in school.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Correction: The only thing that's over is that transmission.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "So this is what it feels like when doves cry.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "So Rocky V plus Rocky II equals Rocky VII: Adrian's Revenge!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "This whole raid was as useless as that yellow, lemon-shaped rock over there. Wait a minute. There's a lemon behind that rock.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "The impenetrable fortress of suburbia.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "You must stupider than you look. - Stupider like a fox!", "c": ["Shelbyville adult", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "No one in history has ever done anything this clever.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Faster, son! He's got a taste for meat now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Let's shut the gate and seal them in. - Gun it, Flanders. - It won't start. Something's draining the battery. - Sorry.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Eat my shorts, Shelbyville. - Eat my shorts. - Eat my shorts. - Yes, eat all of our shirts.", "c": ["Bart", "Kids", "Ralph"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Shake harder, boy.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "And though Flanders was stuck with the impound fee... he could easily afford it.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "They had banished the awful lemon tree forever... because it was haunted. Now, let's all celebrate... with a cool glass of turnip juice.", "c": ["Shelbyville narrator"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Now, let's all celebrate... with a cool glass of turnip juice.", "c": ["Shelbyville narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 24, "et": "Lemon Of Troy"}, {"t": "Is there nothing so intoxicating as the school hallway at early morn?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "The school normally doesn't smell so rank.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Poor fellow. Crushed by his own water bottle.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "You're lucky you're getting a decent burial. Me own father got thrown in the bog.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "What in the name of Saint Ephesiocritus...?", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Smells like one of van Houten's. - It does not.", "c": ["Student", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Pete Porter. Pass it on. Pasadena. Promptly. Package parcel processing. Perk up. Package of plant profit projection for Pete Porter in Pasadena. Priority? Precisely.", "c": ["Multiple employees"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "My name is the return address, you senseless dunderpate.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "My name is Homer J. Simp... ...son. Sounded large when I ordered it. I can't make hide nor hair of these metric booby traps.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Why is it when I heard the word 'school' and the word 'exploded' I thought of the word 'Skinner'?!", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "An oil well doesn't belong in the hands of Betsy Bleeding-heart and Maynard G. Muskie-vote.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "At the picnic, he thought my son Reynaldo was Rolando. Can you believe it?", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "What's that say under your hand there? Oh, it's an unrelated article. It's an unrelated article. Within the banner headline.", "c": ["Student", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "I want a crystal bucket for my slop water. And a brand-new filthy blanket.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Tito Puente! Tito Puente!", "c": ["Lisa", "Students"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "That's odd. I don't have a secretary. Or an intercom. But send them in.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Ahoy there, dean. I understand you're taking suggestions from students, eh? Well, me and my fourth-form chums think it would be quite corking if you'd sign over your oil well to the local energy concern.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "I own the electric company, waterworks, plus the hotel on Baltic Avenue.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "That hotel's a dump and your monopoly's pathetic.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Sorry, sir. This was all I could find. Take that. And that.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Please don't waste those.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.64, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "I guess they'd wanna be with their families or something, huh?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "That's it. Frimble about with your widgets and doobobs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Say, that sounds like a 'larf.' Let's try it right now.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "There's candy right here. Why don't we eat this instead of stealing.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Only the sour quince log, sir. Dispose of it.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Nerd!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "There's no pressure. Someone else has tapped this well.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Almost sexual, isn't it, Smithers?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "I almost forgot. Wouldn't want you gnawing on those casts, eh, boy?", "c": ["Veterinarian"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "And wound that Mr. Smithers. Out of my way.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Dad, this doesn't have your name on it.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Dear Lord. That's the loudest profanity I've ever heard.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Sure, I'm all dizzy and nauseous but where's the inflated sense of self-esteem?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Now, there's the inflated sense of self-esteem.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "I call this enemy... the sun.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing: Block it out.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.6, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Owls will deafen us with incessant hooting. The sundial will be useless.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "No. No, Monty, I won't. Not until you step back from the brink of insanity.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "There has been a shocking decline in the quality and quantity of your toadying.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Take that, Bowl-a-rama. Take that, convenience mart. Take that, nuclear power pla... Oh, fiddlesticks.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Sorry, Grampa. It's just, for a second, it looked like Dad had melted.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Smithers, who is that ignoramus? Smithers, who is that lollygagger? Who is that blubber-pot? Who is that bafflewit? Lummox. Puddinghead. Mooncalf. Limpnoodle. Goldbricker. Drizzlepuss...", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Oh, you're a dead man, Burns. Oh, you're dead. You're dead, Burns!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Hey, the lamp's running away. That's my dog, man.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "How can you have a house without a gun? What if a bear came through the door?", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "You should've fired into the air. She would've run off.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Oh, dear God. It's not that bad. I mean... I never miss Pardon My Zinger.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Those wheels are squeaking a bit. Perhaps I could sell him a little oil.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "I'd like to hear from Sideshow Mel.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "I'll see that Mr. Burns suffers the infernal machinations of hell's grim tyrant.", "c": ["Sideshow Mel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Once, when I was sailing around the Arctic... - Shut up, you.", "c": ["Sea Captain", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "What the...? Eternal darkness. Well, that's just great.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Sorry, I was in the can.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Hello, lamppost. What you knowing? I've come to watch your power flowing.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Oh, wait, it is Burns. His wrinkly skin looks like a mask.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Well, I couldn't possibly solve this mystery. Can you?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'll give it a shot. I mean, you know, it's my job, right?", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 6, "e": 25, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 1"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Ick, my mouth tastes like an ashtray.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Sir, you weren't shot. It was all a dream. That's right. The year is 1965. And you and I are undercover detectives on the hot-rod circuit. Now let's burn rubber, baby!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Speedway Squad! In color.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Wait. That was all a dream. Aw! Hey, then maybe I haven't become a hideous, drunken wreck.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Burns was rushed to a nearby hospital, where he was pronounced dead. He was then transferred to a better hospital, where doctors upgraded his condition to alive.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Oh, it's no use. They ain't talkin'.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Kids, kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Oh, I bet he's the one. Yeah, Smingers did it. Case closed. Now, where's my hat? I'm going to the outhouse.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "We don't have an outhouse. - My toolshed! Oh, Dad!", "c": ["Marge", "Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Sure. I've had it up to here with these damn rickets.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Um, uh, what town did we just crush? - Shelbyville.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Father, I'm not a Catholic, but- Well, I tried to march in the St. Patrick's Day parade. Anyway, I've got a rather large sin to confess.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "That's all I needed to hear. Boy, this thing works great.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "This isn't a rival company you're battling with. It's a school. People won't stand for it. - Pish-posh. It will be like taking candy from a baby. Say, that sounds like a 'larf.'", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Bah! He was a rank amateur... compared to Dr. Colossus.", "c": ["Dr. Colossus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Kent, I- I feel about as low as Madonna... when she found out she missed Tailhook. - I'm gonna say ouch for Madonna.", "c": ["Smithers", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Hey, that's my Madonna gag. That guy stole my gag. - And you stole it from last Friday's episode of Pardon My Zinger.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Dave Shutton"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Stole, made up-what's the difference?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Really? Oh, geez. All right, Colossus, you're free to go. - But stay away from Death Mountain. - But all my stuff is there.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Dr. Colossus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Slow down. The sidewalk's for regular walkin', not for fancy walkin'.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. If a second old geezer got shot, how come nobody reported it?", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's real spruce. You like it?", "c": ["Jasper"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "You shot who in the what now?", "c": ["Jasper"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Actually, Mom, in 95% of cases, it is. The rest of the time it's usually some deranged lunatic who did it for no reason.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Hey, I had a damn good reason. He could never remember my name. Who the devil are you?", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "It's Homer Simpson! My name is Homer Simpson!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "I never thought I could shoot down a German plane... but last year I proved myself wrong.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Why don't you try to solve the mystery of who put that mud in the freezer?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Who wants chocolate ice cream? - Me! Me! Me, me!", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Now, let's discuss the, um, 'mo-tive.'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "That's a real good way to get sick.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Let's roll, boys.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Revenge? Of course. But why wound his body with bullets... when I could set his soul afire with a slanderous mambo?", "c": ["Tito Puente"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "You rotten rich old wretch", "c": ["Tito Puente"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Now I did- I did go to the town meeting with the intention of ambushing Mr. Burns.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Blast! I took mother's makeup kit by mistake.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. But anything else he tells you is a filthy lie.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Look at 'em! Oh, I got it from Space Invaders in 1977.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. A date. Dinner with friends. Dinner alone. Watching TV alone. All right! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies... in the Victoria Secret Catalog. Sears Catalog.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "You accuse me of everything around here. 'Who put slippers in the dishwasher?' 'Who threw a cane at the TV?' 'Who fell into the china hutch?'", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "We're out of coffee. Well, I'll just drink this warm cream.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Did I say weeks? 'Cause I meant seconds.", "c": ["Lab Technician"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Yuh-huh. If you've ever handled a penny, the government's got your D.N.A. Why do you think they keep them in circulation?", "c": ["Lab Technician"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "The gunman has a name-o.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "The wagon's too tall. Oh, I don't wanna have to get out. I'll just drive up on the curb.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Hi, everybody! - Ho... mer Simp... son.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "No, no, no, when I took your father's name... I took everything that came with it, including D.N.A.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "That's right. We all gotta stick together... if we're gonna have any hope of bringing that awful Homer to justice.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Dead or alive. - Holy cow! Me first! Me first!", "c": ["Smithers", "Crowd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "We cannot claim the reward unless we have 51% of the carcass.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "He's innocent. He wouldn't hurt a fly.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Stop telling them it was me! I'll kill you for saying it was me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Your kind has neither the cranial capacity... nor the opposable digits to operate a firearm.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "M-Maggie Simpson!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "But with him out of the picture, I was free to wallow in my own crapulence.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "But the old axiom was misleading. Taking the candy proved exceedingly difficult.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "Those paramedics have sticky fingers.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "No jury in the world's gonna convict a baby. Hmm, maybe Texas.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 1, "et": "Who Shot Mr Burns 2"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "The only decent new one is Radiation Dude. - He's a cheap imitation of Radioactive Man.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Up and Atom! With 'at 'em' spelled A-T-O-M, in a delicious pun.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "While Radiation Dude has a similar but lamer catchphrase, 'Up and let's go!'", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "We both have a special, limited-edition issue where he and Fallout Boy get killed on every page.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "I have got to do something about that air conditioner suction.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Need know star R.M. pic.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "I keep telling you, he's 73 years old and he's dead.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Granted, but-", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Billowing backpacks, Radioactive Man! It's the worst villain of them all! The Scoutmaster!", "c": ["Radioactive Man (70s version)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Don't be afraid to use your nails, boys!", "c": ["The Scoutmaster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "This place must be hot. They don't need a big ad or even correct spelling.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "We'll blow up our dams, destroy forests- anything! If there's a species of animal that's causing you problems, we'll have it wiped out!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Look, we just want to make movies, not kill things. Right. We understand.", "c": ["Producer", "Quimby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "One of your favorite comic book heroes, 'Radio Man'- Radioactive Man, stupid! Strange. I shouldn't have been able to hear that.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Student"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Oh, and the air conditioner will be fixed this afternoon.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Marge, do you have other men in this house? Radioactive men?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "If I get his role, I could finally come to terms with this funny little muddle called Bart.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Ev-er-y-one is... talk-ing a-bout... Ra-di-o-ac-tive M-an... y'all.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Which one were you? The ugly one? - Were you the ugly one?", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "No, I was the tough kid. Smelly. My shtick was lookin' into an exhaust pipe and gettin' a face full of soot.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "William Faulkner can write an exhaust pipe gag that would really make you think.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Oh, no! My favorite aggie! - You stole my bit! That's my bit!", "c": ["Grampa", "Actor"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "He's killed the original Alfalfa! Yeah. Luckily, Alfalfa was an orphan, owned by the studio.", "c": ["Actor", "Director"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "With wealthy Hollywood people on the way, local merchants can be forgiven for raising their prices a little.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "It's all in the delivery. 'Now is the winter of our discontent'-", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "No wonder no one came to my birthday party.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "What's for lunch tomorrow? - Chicken necks?", "c": ["Unknown Child", "Another Child"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "That child has the exact qualities we're looking for! He's perfect! - I don't know. He didn't sign up officially. Oh, forget him then. It wouldn't be fair to the other children.", "c": ["Director", "Assistant"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Bart Simpson. You're our new Fallout Boy! That's what I'd be saying to you if you weren't an inch too short. Next!", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Pull, you mighty stallions, pull! Show me no mercy!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Growing half an inch in one day is still pretty good, Bart. Yeah, that's how fast Grampa's shrinking.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Good news, gentlemen. I've grown that extra inch you wanted. Plus several feet more.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Out of the way. Milhouse, baby! Lionel Hutz, your new agent, bodyguard, unauthorized biographer and drug dealer- uh, keeper-awayer.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I can't hear you, son. I'm wearing a Jacuzzi suit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "George Burns was right. Show business is a hideous bitch goddess.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Someone he can hurl whiskey bottles at when he's feeling low.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "I can suck up to him like the religious people suck up to God!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "You know, I never walk out of a movie, but, yuck!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "But I will hire you for Angry the Clown, Silly Sailor and Dr. Clownius.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "I won't let you down! Well, I might let you down on Silly Sailor.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Up and atom. - Up and at them. - Up and atom! - Up and at them! - Better.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle", "Director"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "No, I'm just Milhouse when he gets hurt. Ohh!", "c": ["Stunt Double"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "It sounds like more fun than it really is. Hey! I think I'm lying on a broken bottle!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Beautiful! Use it.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Good question! We'll check into that.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Cows don't look like cows on film. You gotta use horses. - What do you do if you want something that looks like a horse? - Usually we just tape a bunch of cats together.", "c": ["Crew member", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Oh, I always wanted to be a Teamster. So lazy and surly. Mind if I relax next to ya?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Only the city has just passed another tax on puffy directing pants. - But I don't wear puffy pants! - I meant a tax on not wearing puffy pants.", "c": ["Quimby", "Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "But I don't wear puffy pants! I meant a, uh, tax on not wearing puffy pants.", "c": ["Director", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "I like the way the blush brings out my cheekbones, but it's not worth it.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "I've said 'jiminy jillickers' so many times, the words have lost all meaning.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Again and again! And again and again and again!", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Jiminy jillickers! - There, now, there's no need for profanity, Fallout Boy.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "That Milhouse is going to be big! Gabby Hayes big!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Now, that's real acid, so I want to see goggles, people.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "My eyes. The goggles do nothing.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Where's the producer? I want to talk about this coffee.", "c": ["Actor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Jiminy jillickers, Radioactive Man! - Yes.", "c": ["Archive Milhouse", "Archive Radioactive Man"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Seamless, huh? - You're fired.", "c": ["Director", "Producer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "But will they just find Milhouse, or will they find him and kill him? - Well, they'll- When they find him, they'll, um- - Excuse me, you didn't answer me. You just trailed off.", "c": ["Bart", "Dog Handler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yeah, I did kinda trail off there, didn't I?", "c": ["Dog Handler"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Did you know that there's a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in gang activity? Think about it. - I will. - No, you won't.", "c": ["Professor Frink", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "The real heroes are out there, toiling day and night on more important things. - Television? - No! Curing heart disease and wiping out world hunger.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "But, Milhouse, they haven't cured anything. Heart disease and world hunger are still rampant. Those do-gooders are all a bunch of pitiful losers.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "You have to go to the Schwarzeneggers, the Stallones and to a lesser extent, the Van Dammes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Wow! Spanning two decades.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Uh, they tapped your tree house phone.", "c": ["Mickey Rooney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "The only thing in show business that's hollow is the music industry.", "c": ["Mickey Rooney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Jiminy jillickers. - We're shutting down production.", "c": ["Bart", "Producer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Ah, there's a $1,000 'leaving town' tax.", "c": ["Quimby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Folks from a Hollywood where values are different. They weren't thinking about the money. They just wanted to tell a story.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Should we give them some of their money back? - No.", "c": ["Unknown Springfield resident", "Another resident"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Hurry, Mr. Rooney. We've got a disenchanted little girl in a Jell-O Pudding commercial. - I could play that.", "c": ["Agent", "Mickey Rooney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "Thank God we're back in Hollywood, where people treat each other right.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 2, "et": "Radioactive Man"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Here's your toast, Maggie. I melba-fied it myself.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "It was no trouble. The hoboes at the dump were very helpful. Except one man, who seemed to have mental problems.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "And don't put signs on your sister!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Marge! There's a spider near my car keys!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "You did the right thing by telling me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "No, we shan't. Yoicks!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "If anyone deserves to be wrapped up in seaweed and buried in mud, it's you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Lice? How on earth does a boy get head lice in this day and age?", "c": ["School Nurse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "We bought a wicker basket from Trader Pete's, and he was passed out inside.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Hey, how come I get lice and nothing happens to Milhouse? So cold. So very, very cold.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "What kind of parents would permit such a lapse in 'scalpal' hygiene?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "She could be rife with them 'boogs' too.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Principal Skinner, I need some 'sooes.'", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Sweet Georgia Brown! Something is rotten at the Simpson house!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Oh, don't mind-a me. Look. I do it first.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Seems confused and dehydrated. Where's the baby? Well, that's her, ain't it?", "c": ["Child Services Worker", "Grampa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Kids love that water. Oh, my lord! Stupid babies need the most attention.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Squalid hellhole? Toilet paper hung in improper overhand fashion? Dogs mating on dining room table?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Yea! Hey-diddly-ho! Welcome to your new home, neglect-a-rinos!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Uh, please don't hug me. It sickens me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "That was a baby tooth. It was loose!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Don't you worry, little girl. We'll get you some nice county dentures.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Lousy house plant! You son of a- I'll teach you to- D'oh-You-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Hey, kids! Nachos, Flanders-style! That's cucumbers with cottage cheese!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "I used to let the boys watch My Three Sons, but it got 'em all worked up before bedtime.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Daddy, what's the red stuff coming out of kitty's ears? Uh, uh, that's, uh, just raspberry jam.", "c": ["Rod Flanders", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Dad, should I poke Rod with a sharp thing like the mouse did?", "c": ["Todd Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "I can see Lisa. But it might be a starfish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "The number you have dialed can no longer be reached from this phone you negligent monster.", "c": ["Automated Voice"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "No, I don't care for children.", "c": ["Social Worker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "I'm probably the last guy in the world who should have kids. Uh- W- W-Well, wait- Wait. Can I start again?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "And, uh, Margaret? Who? Lady, you got the wrong file. It's Maggie. Oh, Maggie. I got nothin' against Maggie.", "c": ["Homer", "Social Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "When she swallowed that quarter, he spent all day with her.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Come on, you gloomy Gusses. Who's up for a big bowl on nonfat ice milk?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a cool, wet sack.", "c": ["Parenting Instructor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Garbage in garbage can. Hmm. Makes sense.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Garbage in garbage can. Hmm. Makes sense.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "They say your folks can't pay the rent / So we're watching you by act of government", "c": ["Ned and Rod Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Remember how Mom used to microwave our underwear on cold days?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Or the way Dad used to call the radio station with fake traffic tips?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Saxo-mo-phone", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "I wish I knew something about the baby I could miss now. You mean Maggie? That's it.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Why, you cotton-pickin'- Hey!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Son, let's stop the fussin' and the feudin'. I love you, Pa! I love you, Cletis!", "c": ["Homer", "Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Artaxerxes! Righty-o!", "c": ["Todd Flanders", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "The serpent of Reheboam? The well of Zohassadar? The bridal feast of Bethchedruharazzeb?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Actually, you see- we were never baptized. Oh! Neddie? Neddie!", "c": ["Lisa", "Maude Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Marge, you tested positive for crack and P.C.P. Oh, my! Okay, the retest says you're clean. Sorry about the mistake.", "c": ["Instructor", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "The only thing I'm high on is love- love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little L.S.D. is all I need.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Damn Flanders.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Kids! We're good parents now! Get your asses out here!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "In the eyes of God, they'll be Flanderseseseses.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Daddily-doodily.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Oh, why do you hate my trains?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Oh, Bartholomew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Oh, Bartholomew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo... after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Ol' Painty-can Ned! I always knew he'd keep his old cans of paint.! Yeah.!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 3, "et": "Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Doodily"}, {"t": "Hymns here! I got hymns here! Get 'em while they're holy! Fresh from God's brain to your mouth!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "And now please rise for our opening hymn... uh, 'In the Garden of Eden'... by I. Ron Butterfly.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. This sounds like rock and/or roll.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "where I will eat naught but burning-hot coals... and drink naught but burning-hot cola", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "and strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Bart did it! - That Bart right there! - Milhouse!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "It's just something they made up to scare kids... like the boogeyman, or Michael Jackson.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Why would they lie? What would they have to gain?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Oh, it can swim. It's even got wheels, in case you die in the desert and it has to drive to the cemetery.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "How can someone with glasses that thick be so stupid?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Professor V.J. Cornucopia's Fantastic Foodmagorium and Great American Steakery.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Aah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Daddy, this place... smells like tinkle!", "c": ["Rod Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Ah, but, Moe, the dank- the dank!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Aaah! No! It's dripping funny-smelling water all over me!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Well, whether or not the soul is physically real, Bart... it's the symbol of everything fine inside us.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Well, if you think he got such a good deal, I'll sell you my conscience for 4.50. I'll throw in my sense of decency too. It's a Bart sales event! Everything about me must go!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Geez! You're pretty uppity for someone who eats bugs all day.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Thank you, door!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Way to breathe, No-Breath.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "How about Chairman Moe's Magic Wok? I like it! Nah. I want something that says people can have a nice, relaxing time. I got it! Madman Moe's Pressure Cooker!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "You could flash-fry a buffalo in 40 seconds. Forty seconds? But I want it now!", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "I know that's funny, but I'm just not laughing.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Pablo Neruda said laughter is the language of the soul.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Cover me, Sarge. I'm going after Bart's soul.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Now, that's 'Moe' like it!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Uh, no old people. They're not covered by our insurance.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Hmm. Bart, what's wrong? There's something a little off about your hug.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "My soul's my best friend! My soul's like a toy that never breaks.", "c": ["Children"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Bart sold his soul And that's just swell Now he's going straight to Hell", "c": ["Children"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "An alligator with sunglasses? Huh! Now I've seen everything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Please take the fries off my head, kid. The basket is extremely hot.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Let me level with you, Marge. That's just our name for bottom-feeding suction eel.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "I start with the best part- the neck. And then I add secret hobo spices.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "What the hell are you doing, you little freak?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "I'm not used to the laughter of children. It cuts through me like a dentist's drill.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Silence, you fool. It can be ours.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "The one you call Milhouse... is gone.", "c": ["Mrs. Van Houten"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Oh, your 'teef' hurt, huh? Your 'teef' hurt? Well, that's too freakin' bad!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Whenever Uncle Moe threatens you, you get a free steak-fish.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Alfred Hitchcock stole every idea I ever had! He came into my room and-", "c": ["Crazy Old Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "A simple proposition, Ralph. How would you like to make a dollar? All you have to do is sign a paper that says I can have your soul.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Why? That was the problem in the first place. You were going broke because we were your only customers.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Alf pogs! Remember Alf? He's back, in pog form!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "Since my breakfast burrito is congealing rapidly, I will be blunt.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "But they were most interested in having possession of a little boy's soul.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "It contains a very rare Mary Worth... in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide, thank you.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "There's no change in your piggy bank. Not in any of the ones you know about.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "But you know, Bart, some philosophers believe... that nobody is born with a soul... that you have to earn one through suffering and thought and prayer... like you did last night.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 4, "et": "Bart Sells His Soul"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Just leave me in the car with the window open a crack. - That's the plan.", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "from eight to God only knows", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "What a load of crappy crap crap!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sorry. But it was a 150 degrees in the car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "You're supposed to feed them pellets from the machine over there.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Allemande left and do-si-diddley-diddley-do", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Shut up! - Okilly-dokilly.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Buenos ding-dong-diddly-d\u00edas, senor.", "c": ["Jos\u00e9 Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Eh, a-googilly-doogilly.", "c": ["Lord Thistlewick Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "I know! I'll throw my own barbecue! The greatest barbecue this town has ever seen. And I'll only invite who I want. That'll show you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Can I come? - Sure. D'oh!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "You know what you should serve, Marge? More of these lamb chops. These are the best ever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "You might say the extra ingredient is salt.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Lisa, get ahold of yourself. This is 'lamb,' not 'a lamb.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "What's the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me? - This one spent two hours in the broiler.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Dad! Those all come from the same animal!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "I think Lisa's right, Dad. Eating meat is ba-a-a-ad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Compared to them, the public schools are a haven of enlightenment.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "First, pin them down so they don't fly up and hit you in the eye.", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have a new one?", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Oh, boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Possibly the meat loaf.", "c": ["Lunchlady"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Yum. It's rich in bunly goodness.", "c": ["Lunchlady"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Do you remember when you lost your passion for this work?", "c": ["Lunchlady"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are over-stimulated.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Cartoons don't have messages, Lisa. They're just a bunch of hilarious stuff, you know, like people getting hurt and stuff.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra 'B' is for BYOBB.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "What's that extra 'B' for? - That's a typo.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "If I went to a barbecue and there was no meat, I would say, 'Yo, goober! Where's the meat?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "You don't win friends with salad.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "For privacy's sake, let's call her Lisa S. No, that's too obvious. Uh, let's say L. Simpson", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such educational films as Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun.! And Firecrackers: The Silent Killer.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Oh, hello, Bobby. - Jimmy.", "c": ["Troy McClure", "Jimmy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Come on, Jimmy. Let's take a peek at the killing floor. Don't let the name throw you, Jimmy. It's not really a floor. It's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Just ask this scientician.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Yes, you were, Jimmy. Yes, you were.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "They can't seriously expect us to swallow that tripe. Now as a special treat, courtesy of our friends at the meat council... please help yourselves to this tripe.", "c": ["Lisa", "Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "It's tomato soup served ice cold.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Go back to Russia.", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "I've got the prescription for you, Doctor. Another hot beef injection.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "I can't quite seem to... stand up under my own power anymore. - One whopper for the copper.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "The pig de r\u00e9sistance.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "It's just a little dirty. It's still good. It's still good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "It's just a little slimy. It's still good. It's still good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "It's just a little airborne. It's still good. It's still good. - It's gone. - I know.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage... when pigs fly. - That's a good one. Hey- Hey-", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir? - No. I'd still prefer not.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "You dunking your sausages in that syrup, homeboy?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Why don't you just eat him, Dad?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "That's it! I can't live in a house with this prehistoric carnivore!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Are you gonna marry a carrot, Lisa? - Yes, I'm gonna marry a carrot. - She admitted it! She admitted she's gonna marry a carrot!", "c": ["Student", "Lisa", "Students"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Are you gonna marry a carrot, Lisa? - Yes, I'm gonna marry a carrot. - She admitted it! - She admitted she's gonna marry a carrot!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Kids"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "I take it from your yelling that you like my tofu dogs.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "But what do you do if somebody wants a nonalcoholic beer? - You know, it's never come up.", "c": ["Lisa", "Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Back then I was known as the fifth Beatle. - Sure you were, Apu.", "c": ["Apu", "Paul McCartney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "You'd be surprised how often you'd find a big hunk of pork in them.", "c": ["Linda McCartney"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "In fact, if you play 'Maybe I'm Amazed' backwards... you'll hear a recipe for a really ripping lentil soup.", "c": ["Paul McCartney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Oh! Then you must think I'm a monster. - Yes, indeed, I do think that.", "c": ["Lisa", "Apu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "It was 'Live and Let Die.' - Whatever, whatever. It had a good rhythm.", "c": ["Paul McCartney", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Rock stars. Is there anything they don't know?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "I understand, honey. I used to believe in things when I was a kid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Come on! I'll give you a piggyback ride- Uh, oops! I mean, a veggieback ride home.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 5, "et": "Lisa The Vegetarian"}, {"t": "Ah, the Miracle Mile, where value wears a neon sombrero... and there's not a single church or library to offend the eye.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "There it is! The chain that put the 'fat' in fat Southern sheriffs!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "D'oh! Nuts! That's false advertising!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Eggheads. What do they know?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Hee-hee-hee! I got your doughnut, Lard Lad! And what are you gonna do about it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Well, I acquired it legally. You can be sure of that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Dude, you're huge! Yeah! Let's party, baby! Hey-hey-hey!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Perhaps it's part of some daring new ad campaign. But what new product could justify such carnage? A cleanser? A fat-free fudge cake that doesn't let you down in the flavor department like so many others-", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Whoa! Another acid flashback. Man, I'd hate to be driving a bus right now!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Chief, that wasn't a monster. That was the captain of the high school basketball team.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Uh, yeah, well, he was turning into a monster though.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "He came to life. Good for him!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Well, okay. If it'll end horror.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Don't you ever get tired of being wrong all the time? Sometimes.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "And you kids should have jackets on.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Well, sir, advertising is a funny thing. If people stop paying attention to it, pretty soon it goes away. Like that old woman who couldn't find the beef?", "c": ["Ad Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Don't watch the mon- Don't watch the... monsters-s-s-s", "c": ["Ad Executive"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Well, it'll sound a lot better coming out of Paul Anka.", "c": ["Ad Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "To stop those monsters one, two, three / Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free / It's got Paul Anka's guarantee / Guarantee void in Tennessee", "c": ["Paul Anka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "It worked! They're all dead! Well, except for chubsy-ubsy over there.", "c": ["Paul Anka"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Mmm. Sprinkles! Homer, stop looking! Don't make us poke your eyes out, Dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Oh, shazbatt!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Good catch, boy. Thanks, Bart.", "c": ["Homer", "Santa's Little Helper"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Glad to 'rake' your acquaintance.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "It was only a dream. Bart! Is that you? Yes! Take out the garbage.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Groundskeeper Willie! Oh, my god!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Now, let's have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Remember, class, the worse you do on this standardized test... the more funding the school gets, so don't knock yourselves out.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "I am the Wondrous Wizard of Latin! I am a dervish of declension and a conjurer of conjugation... with a million hit points and maximum charisma!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "You've mastered a dead tongue! But can you handle a live one?", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Wheel him out quietly. It's best the children don't see him.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Um, we didn't mention Groundskeeper Willie, Mom.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Lousy 'Smarch' weather.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "You'll pay for this with your children's blood!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Oh, right. How you gonna get 'em? Skeleton power?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Bah! Welcome to my world.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Okay. But promise you won't be grouchy.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "When I'm done with you, they'll have to do a 'compost-mortem!'", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Listen up. It's your basic Statue of Liberty play with one twist. You throw it to me. Knute Rockne called it 'the forward pass.'", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "I hope you get reincarnated as someone who can stay awake for 15 minutes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Boo!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Nu-uh, because we called it. Did not. Well, we're calling it now. You are? 'Fraid so. Ohh! They got me with their legal mumbo jumbo!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "It's like something out of that twilight-y show about that zone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "You're gonna help us clean and organize them. And pry out all the dead hermit crabs. Get a screwdriver.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Oh, glory of glories! Oh, heavenly testament to the eternal majesty of God's creation! Holy macaroni!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Well, as the tree said to the lumberjack, I'm stumped.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "It's like he just disappeared into fat air.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Did anyone see the movie Tron? No. No. No. No. No. Yes. Er, um, I mean, no. No.", "c": ["Homer", "Various"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "This forms... a three-dimensional object known as a cube... or a 'Frinkahedron,' in honor of its discoverer.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "This forms... a three-dimensional object known as a cube... or a 'Frinkahedron,' in honor of its discoverer.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Enough of your borax, Poindexter! A man's life is at stake! We need action!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Oh, there's so much I don't know about astrophysics. I wish I read that book by that wheelchair guy.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "D'oh! Eew! This is the worst place yet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "Ooh! Erotic cakes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 6, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vi"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "I've never seen a man so desperate to get out of five minutes of calisthenics", "c": ["Exercise Instructor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Especially my big fat mouth", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Yeah, especially your big fat- Oh, wait.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "I want to see more Teddy Roosevelts and less Franklin Roosevelts", "c": ["Exercise Instructor"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Uh, actually, Homer, that's just one. See, each pushup includes both an up part and a down part.", "c": ["Instructor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "It's like a lottery that rewards stupidity", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Stupidity, eh? Must hurt self.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Hmm. Probably better that didn't hit me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "could you give me a little push in the opposite direction?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Carpal tunnel syndrome? No. Lumber lung? No. Juggler's despair? No. Achy-breaky pelvis? No.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Oh! I'm never gonna be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "If you weigh more than 300 pounds... you qualify as disabled.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Dad, I know we don't do a lot together... but helping you gain 61 pounds is something I want to be a part of.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "All my life, I've been an obese man trapped inside a fat man's body.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.86, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "If you want to add to her worries, go ahead. I guess I'm just a little more grateful for all she's done for us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, we'll just see about that, little Miss Smart Guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "My God! That's monstrous. I've never heard of anything so negligen- I'll have no part of it. Can you recommend a doctor who will?", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Hi, everybody! Hi, Dr. Nick!", "c": ["Dr. Nick", "Patients"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "assal horizontology", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "the neglected food groups... such as the whipped group, the congealed group... and the chocotastic", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "You could brush your teeth with milk shakes.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Eat around the banana, Dad. It's just empty vitamins.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Lucky for you, this stuff doesn't work.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Homer. You're, uh, on the towel rack.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "When's your next coffee break? Anytime I want.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "A crazy guy shot a bunch of people, and a subway ran over my hat.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Oh. So that's it, isn't it, Marge? Looks. I didn't know you were so shallow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "I would love you if you weighed 1,000 pounds. But-", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Dad, it says 'Non-Toxic.' Well, that's a plus.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Uh, Dad. Towel rack.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "What's the name of this gastropod?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "What's the connection? Must be the nonstop sitting and snacking.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Ponchos, muumuus, capes, jumpsuits... unisheets, muslin body rolls, academic and judicial robes.", "c": ["Clothing Store Clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "I don't wanna look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a muumuu.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Hee-hee-hee! I pity those poor suckers on the freeway. Gas, brake, honk. Gas, brake, honk. Honk, honk, punch. Gas, gas, gas.", "c": ["Homer", "News Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "except for all those daylight savings days. Lousy farmers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "To start, press any key. Where's the 'Any' key? I see 'Esk,' 'Catarol,' and 'Pig Up.' There doesn't seem to be any 'Any' key.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a Tab.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Venting prevents explo-si-on. Ooh, this is hard. Where's my Tab?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Aw, no! The corn! Paul Newman's gonna have my legs broke.", "c": ["Farmer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "When I grow up, I wanna be a lardo on workmen's comp... just like Dad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "I wash myself with a rag on a stick.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Remember when I giggled at his Sherlock Holmes hat? He sulked for a week and then closed his detective agency.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Pro: I'm drought and famine resistant.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "the slim, lazy Homer you knew is dead. Now I'm a big, fat dynamo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, Miss Doesn't Find Me Attractive Sexually Anymore. I just tripled my productivity.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "All I have to type is 'Y.' So many letters to choose from. I'll pick 'Y.' 'Y.' 'Y.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Mmm! I can feel three kinds of softness.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "I'll see to it you don't get apricot one.", "c": ["TV Character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "I heard that guy's ass has its own congressman.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, look. He's tryin' to get up to yell at us. Don't make me close that shade!", "c": ["Kid", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "You promised Mom you wouldn't wear your dress outside. Nuts to that. I'm goin' to the movies.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "You promised Mom you wouldn't wear your dress outside. Nuts to that. I'm goin' to the movies", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, fatty.! I got a movie for ya. A Fridge Too Far.", "c": ["Heckler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "The overweight individuals in this country... are just as smart and talented and hardworking as everybody else. And they're gonna make their voices heard. All they need is a leader!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "What happened to my bird?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand... please mash the keypad with your palm now.", "c": ["Phone System"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "You gotta slow your car down and let me in because I'm a big fat guy and I can't go anywhere. Because there's gonna be some poison gas.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Ah! Oh! That's raspberry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Stupid switch! I wish I had my reaching broom.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "Homer, your bravery and quick thinking... have turned a potential Chernobyl... into a mere Three Mile Island. Bravo.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "I think it's ironic that Dad saved the day... while a slimmer man would have fallen to his death.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "And I think it's ironic that, for once, Dad's butt... prevented the release of toxic gas", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "One. One. One! Bah! I'll just pay for the blasted liposuction.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 7, "et": "King Size Homer"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "I mean, half these bottles ain't even mine.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, no! He's going over the falls!", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, good. He snagged that tree branch. Oh, no! The branch broke off.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, good. Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him. Oh, no. They're biting him and stealing his pants.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "I'll cross him off the list.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "That dummy worked like a charm, Dad. Best 600 bucks I ever spent.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I-I'm just nervous. I didn't mean any disrespect.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "He's alive in all our hearts.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Your electricity's in the name of HomerJ. Simpson, deceased. The juice stays off till you get a job or a generator.", "c": ["Power Company Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "I don't like your attitude, you watercooler dictator.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Aha! See? This thing is all screwed up! Who the heck is Margaret Simpson?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Leaves of Grass my ass!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Why does my death keep coming back to haunt me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "You awful, awful man! Get out of my son's grave!", "c": ["Mona Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, dang blast it! Isn't anybody in this dad-gummed cemetery dead?", "c": ["Groundskeeper"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "I didn't want to cause a fuss, but now that you mention it.", "c": ["Groundskeeper"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Some people say I look like Dan Aykroyd.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "I almost always spoil the moment.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "It's like something out of Dickens. Or Melrose Place.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "You owe me... $22,000. I'll Kwanzaa you.!", "c": ["Bart", "Mona"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "I'll Kwanzaa you.!", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Yeah, more like preschool. I hateJohn Knowles.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "You didn't dumb it down. You said 'rapport.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "These are the calling cards of a con artist.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "First, it wasn't 25 years. It was 27 years.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Spill it, Muddy Mae, or we're calling the cops!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Darn tootin'!", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Joe Willie Namath swaggering off the field... his sideburns an apogee of sculpted 'sartorium'- the foppish follicles pioneered by Ambrose Burnside... Appomattox, 1865.", "c": ["Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Look at them sideburns! He looks like a girl. Now, Johnny Unitas- there's a haircut you could set your watch to.", "c": ["Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Ptooh their flower power- it's no match for my glower power.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "My germs! My precious germs! They never harmed a soul. They never even had a chance.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Listen to me breathe.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "I ran credit checks at Tom Hayden's Porsche dealership.", "c": ["Mona Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogiro?", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "She has the sloping brow and cranial bumpage of the career criminal.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Of course you'd say that. You have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Gee, Joe. You haven't been the same since your son went crazy in Vietnam.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Seven! No, Dad. It's a rhetorical question. Rhetorical, eh? Eight!", "c": ["Lisa", "Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, Abe! You've aged terribly.", "c": ["Mona Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Can we have sex? Please?", "c": ["Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Yeah, I seen her. Uh, that is to say, I saw her.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Look at me, Grandma. I'm a hippie. Peace, man. Groovy. Bomb Vietnam! Four more years! Up with people!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "We're only now finally caught up.", "c": ["FBI Agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Put out an A.P.B. on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greek town. That's HomerJ. Simpson, Chief. You're reading it upside down.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Uh, cancel that A.P.B. But, uh- Oh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Uh, Chief, you're talking into your wallet.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "All right, I admit it. I am the Lindbergh baby. Waah! Waah! Goo, goo. I miss my fly-fly dada.", "c": ["Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile? A little from column 'A,' a little from column 'B.'", "c": ["FBI Agent", "Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, it's 'cause of your old lady that I got rid of the asthma... that was keeping me out of the academy.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Hurry up, man.! This electric van only has 20 minutes of juice left!", "c": ["Underground Driver"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 8, "et": "Mother Simpson"}, {"t": "Your generous donations have made this our slipperiest, slimiest slobstacle course ever!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "How can we afford it? It's rancid!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Krusty, please! It burns!", "c": ["Sideshow Mel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Oh, just think, Lise. That's our pickle brine burning Sideshow Mel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Ah, Westminster Abbey. Edward the Confessor himself could not have done better.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "This is the way we mop the floor, mop the floor mop the floor", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "My foolish capering destroyed more young minds than syphilis and pinball combined.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "that omnidirectional sludge pump droning and burping-", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Look here! That's enough now! I own 60% of that network!", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "There. That's the last condom wrapper.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.87, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Informally now and by affidavit later, time permitting.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Buzz-cut Alabamians spewing colored smoke from their whizz jets to the strains of 'Rock You Like a Hurricane'? What kind of country-fried rube is still impressed by that?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "During the Gulf War, she destroyed 70 mosques. And her name is Lisa too.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "I want to see some birds get sucked into the engines, rare ones.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "This year I'm making ear plugs out of biscuit dough.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Friend? You mean you two aren't knocking boots?", "c": ["Grandma"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Ever do the back-seat mambo, Craigie?", "c": ["Grandma"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "TV's bottomless chum bucket has claimed Vanessa Redgrave!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Now I'm gonna haul ass to Lollapalooza.", "c": ["Vanessa Redgrave on TV"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "I have three medals for this.", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Well, if anyone asks, uh, I beat him to death, okay?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Five tires? Am I seeing things?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Five tires? Am I seeing things?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "it's so well-designed, even a child could fly it. - Can I fly it? - Of course you cannot.", "c": ["Military Guide", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Free Duff? Viva life!", "c": ["Unidentified character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Take that, Mom! Take that, Dad! Send me to a psychiatrist, will you? Take that, Dr. Sally Waxler!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "This is Colonel Leslie 'Hap' Hapablap. If you don't open that door, I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a snot party!", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "If you don't open that door, I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a snot party!", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Sweet Enola Gay, son! I'm gonna come in there and corpse you up!", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Oh, got my knuckles all lined up for nothing.", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "At Kitty Hawk in 1903... Charles Lindbergh flew it 15 miles on a thimbleful of corn oil. Single-handedly won us the Civil War, it did.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "I pieced it together mostly from sugar packets.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Get down there with the chamois triple-time!", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Get moving or I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a, uh, snot party.", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "They didn't have any aspirin, so I got you some cigarettes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "what a day for an air show! Not a cloud in the sky.! Except perhaps... a mushroom cloud.", "c": ["Air Show Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Except perhaps... a mushroom cloud.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Say! Did somebody say box kites? - No.!", "c": ["Air Show Announcer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "The common box kite was originally used as a means of drying wet string.", "c": ["Air Show Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Why jerk my neck around like a goon when Tyranno-Vision decides what I should look at?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Surely he's not talking about VH1?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Why, we could revive the lost arts of conversation... and scrimshaw.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Go back to Massachusetts, pinko!", "c": ["Crowd member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "By the way, I'm aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it. So don't bother pointing that out.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "You must be very proud, ma'am.", "c": ["Military personnel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "We'll find that head case faster than Garfield finds lasagna.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Oh. I'm sorry. My- My wife thought that was gangbusters.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "We have searched every square inch of this base... and all we have found is porno, porno, porno!", "c": ["Military Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho! Let's not go nuts!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Would it really be worth living in a world without television? I think the survivors would envy the dead.", "c": ["TV Executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "dogs that were mistakenly issued major credit cards and others who weren't so lucky.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Some decent local marmalade, for one. Oh, well, next time.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Wait. If I could only stay on the air... I'd have 100% of the audience. Think of the ratings.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Do you know what really frosts my Kelvinator?", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "I'd rather take an order from Bill Clinton than hear that guy's snooty, high-toned voice again, sir.", "c": ["Soldier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Tight, binding underwear? - Helium!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Blasted helium! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! That's better.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "I'll be beaming out 11 watts of wackiness!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Uh, and, uh, former president, Ike Eisenhower!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Uh, and, uh, former president, Ike Eisenhower!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "How naive of me to think a mere atom bomb could fell the chattering Cyclops!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "'Best before November 1959.' Damn it, Bob! There were plenty of brand-new bombs. But you had to go for that retro '50s charm.", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "and his sister, Lisa, to whom I'm fairly indifferent.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Really? What type of smart? Book smart? Because there are a lot of people who are book smart. But it takes a very special type of genius to-", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Oh, not the Harrier! We've got a war tomorrow.", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "God bless the idiot-proof Air Force.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Hell! Not the Wright Brothers' plane. The Smithsonian's gonna have my ass on a platter.", "c": ["Colonel Hapablap"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "And I had a blimp fall on me! And I was in an atomic blast! But I'm okay now!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Well, I wrecked the gate. But you don't hear me bragging. Now let's roll!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Back before every Joe Sweat Sock could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Bogie's air speed not sufficient for intercept. Suggest we get out and walk.", "c": ["Military Pilot"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "It's The Stingy and Battery Show.! They bite and light and bite and light and bite", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "What the hell is that? A lawn mower?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Uh, sorry. Uh, we don't normally drive these in the Air Force.", "c": ["Military Pilot"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "What is your major malfunction, Sideshow Bob?", "c": ["Soldier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "What is your major malfunction, Sideshow Bob?", "c": ["Soldier"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "How ironic. My crusade against television has come to an end so formulaic... it could have spewed from the PowerBook of the laziest Hollywood hack.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "Here we go again. - Here we go again.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 9, "et": "Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such Fox Network specials as... Alien NoseJob, and five fabulous weeks of The Chevy Chase Show.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "America's favorite... non-prehistoric cartoon family", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "old favorites you can't see in syndication", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "the already-famous creator of such comics... as Damnation, Johnny Reb... and True Murder Stories", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "The Tracy Ullman Show- the nation's showcase for psychiatrist jokes... and musical comedy numbers", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Bedbugs?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "They haven't changed a bit, have they?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "There's no perfect crime.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "And you'll be- Bartron, the evil robot from Mars gone berserk.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "is a horrible, mutant boy.!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Wake up, everybody! It's World War III!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "If this were really a nuclear war, we'd all be dead meat by now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Welcome to zee exotic world of undersea explorer... Bart Simpseau.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "The cash register says, 'N.R.A.4ever.' Just one of the hundreds of radical, right-wing messages... inserted into every show by creator Matt Groening.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "That's not a question, professor.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Uh, what's your first name? - I don't know.", "c": ["Postal Worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "I'm the magical man from Happy Land... in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. - Well, duh.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Hey, guys. Look what I smuggled aboard. - Homer, no! - They'll clog the instruments!", "c": ["Homer", "Astronauts"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Ants!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "No TV and no beer make Homer something something.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Go crazy? - Don't mind if I do!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Get outta my office!", "c": ["Matt Groening"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch... and slobbering all over your face, what would you say? - Mmm. If you did it, sir?", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "You're. Quite. Good. At. Turning. Me. On.", "c": ["Computer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "You know that dream where you're in bed, and they fly in through the window?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "He's in his early 40s, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "If you said 'Bleeding Gums' Murphy and Dr. Marvin Monroe... you are wrong- they were never popular.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "You've got some attitude, mister.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "If you watch my show, I will send you this book featuring me... in a variety of sexually explicit positions.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Hey! It's not really me. I used a stunt butt.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Can I play 'Hemorrhoid Sufferer Number One'? - Ooh! Oh, that hurts! Aah! Oh, is there no relief?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Joker. You were supposed to take those out of the deck.", "c": ["James Bond", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "'Rules for Draw and Stud Poker?'", "c": ["James Bond"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Homer, please. You don't have to wolf down that 25-year-old candy... just to make me happy. - But it won't make you unhappy, right?", "c": ["Homer's mother", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "No, I work at the nuclear power plant. - Oh, Homer. - Well, you'll be happy to know I don't work very hard.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm bringing the plant down from the inside.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "I'd sell my soul for a Formula One racing car. - That can be arranged. - Changed my mind. Sorry.", "c": ["Bart", "Devil", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Bart, stop pestering Satan!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "But we did win. - That's okay. The box is empty.", "c": ["Marge", "Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Their clothes are different from my clothes. Look at what they're wearin'.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees... or the dogs with bees in their mouth... and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Smithers... release the robotic Richard Simmons.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "Come on, big boy! Shake the butter off those buns!", "c": ["Robotic Richard Simmons"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "His ass is gonna blow!", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "The one who shot me was- Waylon Smithers! - No-o! Wait a minute. Yes.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "So I wanted to kick up my heels and indulge my sweet tooth.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "drunk as a lemur", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "I'm giving you a five percent pay cut. - Ohh!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "But, of course, for that ending to work... you would have to ignore all the Simpson D.N.A. evidence. And that would be downright nutty.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters... to pay off his gambling debts", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "hard-core nudity!", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 10, "et": "The Simpsons 138Th Episode Spectacular"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "It's a Krusty Kinda Kristmas! Brought to you by ILG- selling your body's chemicals after you die.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Hey, I thought Krusty was Jewish. Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.", "c": ["Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "So tell your folks, 'Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!' Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!", "c": ["TV Commercial", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Young man, in this house we use a little word called 'please.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Those are all good points, but the problem is they don't result in me getting the game.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "When I was your age I wanted an electric football game more than anything in the world. And my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, good night.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Mom, I'm not a little kid anymore. Tuck-in time is lame.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Well, if loving my kids is lame, then I guess I'm just a big lame.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Mom, it's lame to be proud of being lame.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Well, life is like a box of chocolates. Mom, no! Mom! You never know what you're gonna get.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Allow me to summarize the proposed transaction. You wish to purchase Bonestorm for 99 cents. Net profit to me, negative $59. Oh, oh, please take my $59. I don't want it. It's yours.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Eh, eh, eh! Seeing as we are unfamiliar with sarcasm, I shall close the register at this point and state that 99 cents is the rental price.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Though I do have a surprising abundance of Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "This is great! And all I've done is enter my name-Thrillhouse!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Uh- Uh, it's only a one-player game. Then how come it says 'second player score'? Mom! Bart's swearing!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "No, Mom, you idiot! I have Bloodstorm and Bonesquad and Bloodstorm II, stupid!", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry, honey. We'll take a Bonestorm. Get two! I'm not sharing with Caitlin.", "c": ["Mother", "Gavin"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Four-finger discount, dude. Shoplifting is a victimless crime like punching someone in the dark!", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Go ahead-a, Bart. Take-a the Bonestorm. The store, she's so rich she'll-a never notice.", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Duh, it's the company's fault for making you want it so much", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Don't do it, son. How's that game gonna help your putting?", "c": ["Angel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Sir, would you open your coat, please? Uhh, I don't think this is the kind of coat that opens.", "c": ["Security Guard", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. That boy's parents must've made some terrible mistakes. Shut up, Mom!", "c": ["Bystander", "Kid"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such public service videos as Designated Drivers: The Lifesaving Nerds and Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "I'm here today to give you the skinny on shoplifting, thereby completing my plea bargain with the good people at Foot Locker of Beverly Hills.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Shoplifting began here in ancient Phoenicia. Thieves would literally lift the corner of a shop in order to snatch the sweet, sweet olives within.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Oh, Sheheqazaramesh, will you ever learn?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I'd be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose.", "c": ["Detective Brodka"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "If you ever set foot in this store again, you'll be spending Christmas in juvenile hall, capisce? Well, do you understand? Everything except 'capeesh.'", "c": ["Detective Brodka", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Lousy, stinking piece of crap. Gotta change that answering machine tape! Oh, God, I gotta change that tape!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Gotta change Maggie! Dear God, we gotta change Maggie!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Hello, Muddah. Hello, Faddah. Here I am at Camp Granada. Marge, is Lisa at Camp Granada?", "c": ["Answering Machine", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "'Tis the season, Marge! We only get 30 sweet, noggy days. Then the government takes it away again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "If you ever set foot in this store again, you'll be spending Christmas in juvenile hall - juvenile hall - juvenile hall", "c": ["Bart's imagination"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Wow! The March 8 newspaper! Cool! A book of carpet samples! Come on, new bike! Ohh. A soiled wig.", "c": ["Juvenile Hall Kids"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Come on, new bike! Ohh. A soiled wig", "c": ["Juvenile Hall Kid"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "What's the matter with your face? Is that a fake nose? Are you wearing chin putty?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "I hope you're going to the Valley Vista Try-N-Save, kid, 'cause you don't want to come to my store. Catfish?", "c": ["Security Guard", "Random Person"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Uh-oh! Somebody's got tired little legs.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Now she'll really be surprised when she opens that ironing board cover.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Hello, I'll- Oh, it's just air", "c": ["Photographer"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Oh, come on! Hurry up! Okay, people. One, two, three. I thought I told you: no returns for busted merchandise.", "c": ["Photographer", "Detective Brodka"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "I'm afraid your son broke the 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not steal.", "c": ["Detective Brodka"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "But someday he'll be a grown man stealing stadiums and- and quarries.", "c": ["Detective Brodka"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's-his-name?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Except at that guy who made sound effects. Honk, honk!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Her heart won't just wipe clean like this bathroom countertop. It absorbs everything that touches it like this bathroom rug.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "First, he's grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no eggnog. In fact, no nog period. And third, absolutely no stealing for three months.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "What? I'm more worried about piranhas. Did you see that movie where they sent a nuclear submarine to fight the piranhas and one of them swims right down the periscope and bites the guy in the eye?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Ahh, it got boring. I'm really into this cup and ball now. Man, you never know which way this crazy ball's gonna go!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "But can I hang out with you while you do mom stuff?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Tell me I'm good.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Check it out, boy. It's like looking into a living snow mirror.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Look what I swiped from Try-N-Save. It's a replacement tire for a wheelbarrow.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Oh, Bart. I can't believe you did this. I wanted to surprise you for Christmas.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Welcome to Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge. I am Carvallo. Now choose a club. You have chosen a three-wood. May I suggest a putter?", "c": ["Lee Carvallo's Game"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "You have chosen a three-wood. May I suggest a putter? Three-wood", "c": ["Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Ball is in parking lot. Would you like to play again? You have selected 'no.'", "c": ["Lee Carvallo's Game"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 11, "et": "Marge Be Not Proud"}, {"t": "Boy, they're really sockin' it to that Spiro Agnew guy again. He must work there or something.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "You fold it, you bought it.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy or store clerk"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Does something smell funny in here? - I don't think so, stupid.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Homie, you want pork chops? - No, I want roast beef, you clod!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "The 'all-ighty ollar'?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "They never come around anymore now that they got their mistresses.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Sorry. It's league night. I couldn't give a lane to my own mother. - I have no son.", "c": ["Bowling Alley Worker", "Bowling Alley Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Well, I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy, store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, no problem. Would you take an out-of-state, two-party, bad check?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "No, I will not pay you $500 for sex.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "I don't have that kind of money to spend on sex.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Just last week, I asked him for $1,500. - For what? - Oh, I gotta get the third degree from you too?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "I'd better take off my sweater.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "His shirt makes a good point. I'm with the shirt!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "I'll just write the zero first. Now a vertical line to indicate the one.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Skinner, why are there children walking on my head?", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta...", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "I spent the next three years in a P.O.W. camp forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk and four kinds of rice.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Pop 'n' Fresh, you glutinous little dough boy!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody, if you wanna ask Burns for a favor, now's the time! He's doped up or dyin' or somethin'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Why, it's that delightful TV leprechaun! I'm going to get your Lucky Charms.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, no. My brains.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, nice, quote, uniforms, end quote.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "This just in. A new addition to our worst-dressed list: those guys!", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, forget this. I am far too fragile to withstand an evening of barbs like that.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Buenas noches, senoritas!", "c": ["Bumblebee Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, man! I knew I was gonna choke.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "That's a funny-lookin' strike.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "You can do it, Otto! Make this spare, I give you free gelato! Then back to my place, where I will get you blotto! Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Right away, my lips started to move and I came up with a chant that won the match!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Who knocked down the pins? - I don't know. You know, some guy. Otto, I guess.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "The individual doesn't matter. It was a team effort. And I was the one who came up with the whole team idea. Me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "No, no. Now, don't try to remember what that slogan was.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Say hello to our little genius, Martin, who looks even smarter in this vest and short pant combination from Mr. Boy of Main Street.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "She'll have no reason to play the blues in this snappy ensemble topped off with a saucy French beret that seems to scream 'silence.'", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Go, Moe! Go, Moe! Don't make Homer shout out, 'D'oh!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. Bye!", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "The Holy Rollers have won it five years in a row. They think they're so high and mighty just 'cause they never got caught drivin' without pants.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Homer, watch your mouth! - I gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "We are not wieners. - Then what are you dressed like that for? - They made us. - Oh. 'They made us.' That's loser talk.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Sir, that's a check for your boweling. - Oh, yes. That's very important.", "c": ["Smithers", "Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Yes, sir. Remember that month you didn't do it? - Yes, that was unpleasant for all concerned.", "c": ["Smithers", "Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. That greedy, grasping glob of chemicals.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Look at them, Smithers, enjoying their embezzlement. - I have a much uglier word for it, sir: misappropriation.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "I've had one of my unpredictable changes of heart.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Yeah. Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "It wasn't any easier.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Horseplay's down 40%. Youthful exuberance has been cut in half. High spirits are at an all-time low.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "They've even begun blinking in unison.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, there's something I used to do in this situation, but can't remember. Ha- ho?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Whoo! They begged me to join their team- begged me.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "The only ship worth a damn is friendship.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Oops. Lost a nail. Well, that's leprosy for you.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Wow! Look at all the colors, man! Red, green, yellow, orange! I remember all of these!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "I got them at the same place I buy Mother's dresses, and- - Good Lord! Mother's in the park!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "So you're saying we're definitely gonna win? Whoo-hoo! I won't need this anymore. [breaks trophy case]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Don't worry about nothin', Homer. I have a feeling that Mr. Burns is gonna have a little accident that might keep him from bowlin' with us tonight, heh, heh, heh.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "D'oh! He's gonna ruin everything!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "At last, I finally have a garment fine enough to be married in.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "I've always been wealthy, but this is the first time I ever felt... rich.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Now I must discard my teammates, much like the boxer must shed roll after roll of sweaty, useless, disgusting flab before he can win the title.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "I guess some people never change. Or they quickly change and then quickly change back.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "Well, I guess no one can. - Run, before they're through feeding!", "c": ["Moe", "Various"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 12, "et": "Team Homer"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Oh! Saturday afternoon TV is so boring.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Because I'm trying to reduce my boredom.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Eh, I'll do it anyway.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "The swankiest street in the classiest part of Pressboard Estates.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "It's easier. Duh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "May I spray you with the hose in a playful fashion?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Eh, spray the boy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "I've got nothing but time until they fix that malfunctioning Squishy machine.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Nobody who could afford it would want to live in this neighborhood. Hey, what's wrong with this neighborhood? Big shot!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Who you talking to, Homer? - The guy who doesn't live there.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "But, Marge, it works on any ayatollah- Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi. As we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, I wanted to write 'Disco Stud,' but I ran out of space. Not that Disco Stu didn't get his share of the action.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "No! Just candy, Ned. Ninety dollars!", "c": ["Mrs. Glick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Well, it's a moot point as I have only one tie to begin with.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Hey. Disco Stu doesn't advertise.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody! Who thinks Flanders should shut up?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Say, that ayatollah thinks he's better than America. Is he right? - No! - Yes.", "c": ["Homer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Hey, big spender, Dig this blender, Rainbow suspenders, Hey, big spender, We surrender, Spend, Some dough at table three", "c": ["Various vendors"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Disco Stu likes disco music.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Hi there, neighbors. Uh, I'm George Bush.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Now, let's all turn around and pay attention to me again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Thinks just because he led the free world he can act like a big shot!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Actually, this is one of the nine states where Mr. Bush claims residency, Dad.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. If Lisa didn't vote for him, and I didn't vote for him- You didn't vote for anybody.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "I voted for Prell to go back to the old glass bottle. After that, I became deeply cynical.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Howdilly-doodilly there, President Bush- Or should I say President Neighbor?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Tiptop-notch! - Okilly-dokilly. Thankilly-dankilly. - Greatalicious. - Scrumpdiddlerific. Fine and dandy like sour candy!", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Todd", "Rod"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "So we found the town with the lowest voter turnout in America.", "c": ["Barbara Bush"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Just happy to be here among good, average people... with no particular hopes or dreams.", "c": ["Barbara Bush"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say, and nobody heard it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Oh, those cards are from Air Force One... and they only give you so many packs.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "His hands are probably covered with mud and cookies. He probably stole a napkin.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "That's a dumb name. Who's that, George?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, welcome to the 20th century, George.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "I'll kick you right out of the 20th century, you little-", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Oh, man. I only got one minute till they stop serving those breakfast balls! D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "That's really more of a weekend thing, Ray.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "That guy's louder than World War II.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Hey, my taxes paid for that horn!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Hey, my taxes paid for that horn!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Great Scott! Don't touch that. That's the alpenhorn Helmut Kohl gave me.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "They're presidential pajamas. You have to be president, and you're not president. - Yes, I am. - D- No, you're not. Bar!", "c": ["George Bush", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Can't remember the last time she made cookies for me.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Good, not great.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "No. Not the memoirs. Don't even think about it. Not gonna happen.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "No. Not the memoirs. Don't even think about it. Not gonna happen.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "I begged him to stop, but he said it was for the good of the nation.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Grover Cleveland spanked me on two nonconsecutive occasions!", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Well, that's it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "I'm going to punch George Bush in the face. Okay. Is he expecting you?", "c": ["Homer", "Secret Service agent"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "I'm going to punch George Bush in the face. / Okay. Is he expecting you?", "c": ["Homer", "Secret Service"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Whoa! Well, you are a wimp!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Then you're gonna get trouble. - No, you're gonna get trouble. Oh, that's good. That's good, 'cause I want trouble.", "c": ["George Bush", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Two hundred bottle rockets, and George Bush doing toe touches by an open window. You get one up his butt, it's a million points.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Look, just never mind. I thought the banner was pretty straightforward, but I guess I'll just take it down.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "It's your sons, George Bush Jr. and Jeb Bush. Come outside, Dad.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "So I thought to myself, 'What would God do in this situation?' Locusts. They'll drive him nuts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "It's all in the Bible, son. It's the prankster's bible.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Oh, if he thinks George Bush'll stay out of the sewer... he doesn't know George Bush.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "It's just like the Noriega thing. Now he and George are the best of friends.", "c": ["Barbara Bush"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "It's just like the Noriega thing. Now he and George are the best of friends.", "c": ["Barbara Bush"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Here's a little something we learned in C.I.A.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Now I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "I just dropped by with present for warming of house. Instead find you grappling with local oaf.", "c": ["Mikhail Gorbachev"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Oh, brought some of your commie friends to help you fight dirty, eh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "But, Bar, we can't show any weakness in front of the Russians.", "c": ["George Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "But, Bar, we can't show any weakness in front of the Russians. / George!", "c": ["George Bush", "Barbara Bush"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! In your face, Bush. Now apologize for the tax hike.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "My name is Jerry Ford.", "c": ["Gerald Ford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "Say, Homer, do you like football? - Do I ever! - Do you like nachos? - Yes, Mr. Ford.", "c": ["Gerald Ford", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 13, "et": "Two Bad Neighbors"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Ay.!: Qu\u00e9 agon\u00eda.!", "c": ["Bumblebee Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Grampa destroying the TV while trying to adjust it", "c": ["Grampa", "Family"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "No, Grampa! Don't! Dad, sit down! Gosh darn it! What does this do?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Yea! We're getting a new TV!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Let's go to the Sharper Image. They've got a TV shaped like a '50s diner!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "No! Let's go to The Nature Company. They've got a TV assembled by Hopi Indians.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "We can't afford to shop at any store that has a philosophy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.39, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Look at these low, low prices on famous brand-name electronics!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Don't be a sap, Dad. These are just crappy knock-offs. I know a genuine Panaphonics when I see it. And look, there's Magnetbox and Sorny.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I'm not going to lie to you. Those are all superior machines. But if you like to watch your TV, and I mean really watch it...", "c": ["Salesman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "It features two-pronged wall plug, pre-molded hand-grip well... durable outer casing to prevent fall-apart.", "c": ["Salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Sold! You wrap it up, I'll start bringing in the pennies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Honey, I don't think these clothes are us. Who are they?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Hey, Brandine! You could wear this shirt to work. Oh, Cletis, you know I gotta wear the shirt what Dairy Queen give me.", "c": ["Cletus", "Brandine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Hey, Mom.! There's something in here.!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Can it be a real Chanel? It is! Ninety dollars? But it's marked down from 2,800.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Oh, you look so sophisticated. Just like Mary Hart.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Oh, sure I do. I treated myself to a Sanka not three days ago.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "All right, I will buy it! It'll be good for the economy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "What about the symphony or the theater? What's the point of going out? We're just gonna wind up back here anyway.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Oh, Mrs. Simpson, you are looking very prosperous today. Might I interest you in some of our impulse items here by the cash register?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Perhaps a crazy motorized wiggle pen? Look at the craziness.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I do not speak English. But you were just talking to- Yes, yes. Hot dog, hot dog. Yes, sir. No, sir. Maybe. Okay.", "c": ["Gas station attendant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Well, I can't pump it myself. I'm calling Triple 'A.'", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "And to think I heard you married Homer Simpson. I did marry Homer.", "c": ["Evelyn", "Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "We ran with different crowds. You had your debutante balls and skinny-dipping... and I had my... home shoe-repair course.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "You there. Fill it up with petroleum distillate. And revulcanize my tires, posthaste.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Homer, I don't think you should wear a short-sleeved shirt with a tie. Oh, but Sipowicz does it.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "If Detective Sipowicz jumped off a cliff, would you do that too? Oh, I wish I was Sipowicz.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "That country club is a hotbed of exclusionist snobs and status-seeking social climbers. I've told you, I don't like you using the word 'hotbed.'", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Bart, no grifting. Aw, raspberries.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Simpson family. We're not poor.", "c": ["Homer", "Security guard"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Well, we're not.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Karyn, Gillian, Eliza-beth... Patri-cia, Robert-a, Su-san, meet Marge.", "c": ["Evelyn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "That's the trouble with first impressions- you only get to make one.", "c": ["Country club woman"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Uh, come on, kids. Let's go sit in the car till your mom's done fitting in.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I won't eat anything unless it's shipped overnight from Vermont or Washington state.", "c": ["Patricia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I get food through the mail, but in a different way. Every month, Good Housekeeping arrives in my mailbox bursting with recipes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Sometimes the most satisfying meal is the one you cook yourself.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Instead, we microwaved our own soup! Of course it was a horrible mess. But Iris didn't mind cleaning it up.", "c": ["Country club woman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I thought it was so opulent. Like the Playboy Mansion, but non-sexual.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "A man in the bathroom kept handing me towels till I paid him to stop.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Shoulda held out longer, boy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "The rich are different from you and me. Yes! They're better!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I didn't order a baloney sandwich! I ordered an abalone sandwich!", "c": ["Rich golfer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "This whole country club scene is so decadent. All these spoiled brats and their smug complacent parents. It just reinforces the unspoken class system of... horses... sitting on their high... horses- I'm sorry! I gotta go!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Don't ask me. I'm just hair. Your head stopped 18 inches ago.", "c": ["Country club woman"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I thought perhaps changing suits had gone out of fashion. Eh, Marge?", "c": ["Country club woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "We could've stopped them if you had changed to a different suit. I thought perhaps changing suits had gone out of fashion. Eh, Marge?", "c": ["Country club woman", "Other woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "That's one way. I'm P.G.A. Tour Pro Tom Kite. How about I give you a few pointers on your game?", "c": ["Homer", "Tom Kite"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Now, you don't want to overthink. Not an issue.", "c": ["Tom Kite", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "And stay the hell out of my locker! You can keep the shoes.", "c": ["Tom Kite"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Marge, did you know that Kennedy and Lincoln had the same handicap?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Marge, did you know that Kennedy and Lincoln had the same handicap?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Just slap some bumper stickers on it and come to bed, will you, Marge?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Love your outfit, Marge. The vest says, 'Let's have lunch,' but the culottes say, 'You're paying.'", "c": ["Country club woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Mom, look! I found something more fun than complaining!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Where exactly will you be attaching them to that mangled Chanel suit?", "c": ["Country club woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Her idea of wit is nothing more than an incisive observation humorously phrased and delivered with impeccable timing.", "c": ["Country club woman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Can you bank it into the handicapped stall? Seat down.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson, sir. One of the fork-and-spoon operators from Sector 7G.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Except for that one in '74 when you let Richard Nixon win. That was very kind of you, sir.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his 'I can't go to prison, Monty. They'll eat me alive!'", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his... 'I can't go to prison, Monty. They'll eat me alive!'", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Say, I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation?", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Unlikely, sir. They-They spell and pronounce their name differently.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Whee! Whee! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Lisa, please!", "c": ["Maggie", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "At times like this I guess all you can do is laugh.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "At times like this I guess all you can do is laugh.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I need a formal dress for tonight! You've come to the right place. We've got classy duds up the ying-yang.", "c": ["Marge", "Thrift store clerk"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "It's got some cigarette burns, but we can patch them up with Nu Vinyl.", "c": ["Discount store clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "This was originally a Halloween costume... but it found its way into my regular rotation.", "c": ["Discount store clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "This was originally a Halloween costume... but it found its way into my regular rotation.", "c": ["Salesperson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Rant on, Simpson, but your vainglorious boasting... will only add savor to my inevitable triumph.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Yes. You're in deep 'd'oh' now.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Oh, quit cogitating, Steinmetz, and use an open-faced club- the sand wedge!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "No, but we do have a shipment of slightly burnt Sears activewear coming in this afternoon.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Oh, I give up. What time, and how burnt?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Uh, there are no other balls. Just these, uh, reptile eggs! Oh, step away! They're endangered.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Good lord, Smithers! That's patently unnecessary. I'm one of the world's finest golfers.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Wait till I tell everyone about this. You stink.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Bull hockey! I don't care about joining this stupid club. But does your wife?", "c": ["Homer", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I knew my kind wasn't welcome here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "The outlet store. Wow! Two finds in one store. What are the odds? Call it fate. Let's go!", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Wow! Two finds in one store. What are the odds?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "For once maybe someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I'm gonna pose as an Italian count... and get some old lady to leave me all her money.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I'm gonna ask people if they know their servants' last names. Or, in the case of butlers, their first.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Now that she's a better person... we can see how awful we really are.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I like Bart.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Our savings? Don't worry. I saved the receipt. We'll have a $3,300 credit at Chanel. They have beer and gum, right?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Our savings? Don't worry. I saved the receipt. We'll have a $3,300 credit at Chanel. They have beer and gum, right?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I wouldn't want to join any club that would have this me as a member.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I hope she didn't take my attempt to destroy her too seriously.", "c": ["Country club woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Mmm! I- Ugh!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "I pickled the figs myself.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "But you know, we realized we're more comfortable in a place like this.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "Man, you're crazy! This place is a dump. Oh, man! I'd be anywhere except this place. That's for sure.", "c": ["Restaurant customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 14, "et": "Scenes From The Class Struggle In Spring"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "The only stipulation is that you spend one night in a haunted house. - Oh. Isn't that somewhat unusual? - No. It's a standard clause.", "c": ["Lawyer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. I must have continued talking after you left the office. I do that sometimes.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "There's a special on tacos down at the Taco Mat- hundred tacos for $100- I'm gonna get that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Tacos? Public broadcasting? I won't have you kids throwing away your money like that.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Boy, I sure could go for 100 tacos right about now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "\"Ook, ook.\" Are you folks ready to go ape? - Mom? - A professional in an ape mask is still a professional.", "c": ["Bank Employee", "Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Really? Wow! I should have started a long time ago.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "I got their new Thrifty Saver savings account. 2.3% annual interest instead of the normal 2.25. So a year from now I'll have an extra nickel.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "I got the account where you get free customized checks. I chose the Hindenburg flip-book series. Cool!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "One cent, and no cents.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "A million dollars? Thanks, Bart. I owe you one. That's a post-dated check, remember. Don't cash it till the year 10,000. Okay.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Excellent. As soon as the check clears, I'll let you go.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Oh, what do you know. Jimbo's real name is Corky.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Hey! 'Cayman Islands Offshore Holding Corporation'? Krusty was supposed to sign this.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer. Oh, crap! I shouldn't have said it was a secret. Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal.", "c": ["Bank Manager"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "It's too hot today.", "c": ["Bank Manager"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "What the heck is 'avoision'? - 'Avoision'- It's a crime. Look it up. Would never have- - 'Evasion.' 'Evasion.' I don't say 'evasion,' I say 'avoision.'", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Yeah. There'll be enough people to do that for me at recess tomorrow.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Garnish my celery? Please, Krusty. No jokes. Who's joking?", "c": ["Krusty", "Lawyer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "For example, I sure wish somebody would give me a banana cream pie. Yeah! Uh- I guess we can't afford pies right now. Well, throw something! Oh, that corner!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "I'll have four Tax Burgers... one 'I.R.S.-wich'- withhold the lettuce- three dependent-size sodas... and a 'FICA-ccino.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Fill out schedule 'B.' You should receive your burgers in six to eight weeks.", "c": ["Krusty Burger Employee"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Seven hundred dollars.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Forty cents? My grandpa Zev would turn over in his grave... if it wasn't filled with some veteran.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "All I brought is a dime. I didn't know there'd be pornography.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Oh, my beloved pornography.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "How much for Krusty's bed? Half a buck. Sold! Good night, everybody. Good night, Moe.", "c": ["Auctioneer", "Moe", "Various"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "the I'm-On-A-Rolla Gay", "c": ["Auctioneer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "One night he looked out the window... and the moon hit his eye like a big pizza pie. We wrote a song about it... but it ended up infringing on one he recorded years before.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Nah, I just bought it to soak my feet in.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "No offense, kid, but your mom's a dingbat.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "I gotta ride the bus like a schnook. I gotta live in an apartment like an idiot. I gotta wait in line with nobodies to buy groceries from a failure!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Everywhere I go I see teachers in Ferraris- research scientists drinking champagne.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "I tried to drink a Coke on the bus... and they took away my pass.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "I must say, I've had a lovely evening, Agnes. I don't suppose I could come in for a cup of- - Seymour! - Mother. Superintendent Chalmers! - Skinner!", "c": ["Skinner", "Agnes", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "What I wouldn't give for something... to interrupt this awkward moment.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Krusty's shoes! Okay, folks, show's over. Nothing to see here. Show's- Oh, my God! A horrible plane crash! Hey, everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage. Come on, crowd around.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Don't worry, son. I'm sure he's up in heaven right now laughing it up with all the other celebrities- John Dillinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "I'm sure he's up in heaven right now... laughing it up with all the other celebrities- John Dillinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "You might remember me from such show business funerals... as 'Andre the Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye'... and 'Shemp Howard: Today We Mourn a Stooge.'", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "your elevated blood-alcohol level... probably helped you burn up quicker.", "c": ["Sideshow Mel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "You must be over 18 for the 10:00. It gets a little blue.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "By a nearly two-to-one vote, the smiling Krusty was chosen.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "- Yes, dear, in your mind. - No, on the street. - On the street in your mind.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "I went through the same thing when Lyndon Johnson died.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "telling you... would violate the patient-doctor privilege... just as if I were to tell you that Jasper here has five seconds to live. - What'd he say? - He said I'm next.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Jasper", "Old Man"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Arr! That's Handsome Pete. He dances for nickels. Pete, ye got some customers.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Not a quarter! Arr! He'll be dancing for hours.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Not a quarter! Arr! He'll be dancing for hours.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "And Krusty's superfluous third nipple.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Or kill us.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "The incessant beep of the global positioning system... is all the companionship I need. Tell me where you are now, you bastard!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Tell me where you are now, you bastard! All right, I admit it. I miss the phonies.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "What about being an illiterate TV clown who's still more respected than all the scientists, doctors and educators in the country put together?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "The life of Rory B. Bellows is insured... for a surprisingly large amount.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "Shh!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.13, "im": 3.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 15, "et": "Bart The Fink"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "after misinterpreting a passage in the Bible", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "I hope they show the time where they traded guns to the Indians for corn... and then the Indians shot them and took the corn", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "It's some sort of land cow", "c": ["Settler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "A noble spirit 'embiggens' the smallest man", "c": ["Jebediah Springfield"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "'Embiggens'? Hmm. I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "I don't know why. It's a perfectly 'cromulent' word", "c": ["Ms. Hoover"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "with the possible exception of Kearney", "c": ["Ms. Hoover"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Those tall ships really lifted the nation's spirits after Watergate", "c": ["Ms. Hoover"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "and the best 18 will be put on file in the school library... available to anyone who requests them", "c": ["Ms. Hoover"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Can we do illustrations? - No.", "c": ["Student", "Ms. Hoover"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Look. I can be a butter churner, a typhoid carrier, an apprentice!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Well, yeah, Dad. You're a big, fat loudmouth... and you can walk when you have to", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Dangerous river crossings threatened life and limb... but helped our founding fathers save on bridge tolls", "c": ["Museum narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "even when I'm drinking my chicory", "c": ["Hollis Hurlbut"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "but I think you'll find he's easily the equal... of William Dawes or even Samuel Otis", "c": ["Hollis Hurlbut"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Well, thankily-dank, Mayor. I shan't disappoint", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "'Har' ye. 'Har' ye. I declare myself pickled tink... about Springfield's bicen-citally... ti-tin-toodily, rin-tin-tennial day!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "You su-diddly-uck, Flanders! Give me that", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Chooseth Homer Simpson, and he shalt rock thy world", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Good God! He is fabulous", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "He's 'embiggened' that role with his 'cromulent' performance", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "The Homer broadcasting system is on the air!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "and his chamber pot", "c": ["Hollis Hurlbut"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Till 1796 I was Hans Sprungfeld, murderous pirate", "c": ["Jebediah's confession"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "And the half-wits of this town will never learn the truth. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!", "c": ["Jebediah's confession"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Sounds like you've come down with a serious case of 'Jebeditis'", "c": ["Hollis Hurlbut"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Just when I was getting over my Chester A. Arthritis", "c": ["Hollis Hurlbut"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "I don't understand thee, Marge", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "No tongue, eh? How did he talk- and eat and laugh and love?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "The dastard!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "I got the white stars you wanted, but I couldn't find... any red hearts, yellow moons or green clovers", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "they had a choice of living in Springfield or Stenchburg", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "And, Lisa, for your- essay... 'Jebediah Springfield: Super-Fraud,' 'F'", "c": ["Ms. Hoover"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "It's women like you who keep the rest of us from landing a husband", "c": ["Ms. Hoover"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Well, I've been called a greasy thug too, and it never stops hurting", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Grease ourselves up real good and trash that place with a baseball bat", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "One: Where's the fife? And two: Give me the fife", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, put this in your fife and smoke it", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "The so-called confession... is just as phony as the Howard Hughes will... the Hitler diaries or the Emancipation Retraction", "c": ["Hollis Hurlbut"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "You and your children and your children's children... For three months", "c": ["Hollis Hurlbut"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Okay. 100 yellow", "c": ["Print shop worker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "And you're the littlest guy I know", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Question. Is your name Ridley Scott or James Cameron? - No. It's Homer", "c": ["Man", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "And if I see a movie where computers threaten our personal liberties... I will know that you stole my idea", "c": ["Screenplay writer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Mental note. Steal his idea", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Oh. You're just as sweet as the sticks which bear your name", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "as red hot as the candies which bear that name", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Aw, the little cutie wants to do somethin' cute", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Homer, you know, I support, uh, most any prejudice you can name... but your hero phobia sickens me", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "There's an exit?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "A pirate? Well, that's hardly the image we want for Long John Silver's", "c": ["Corporate sponsor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse?", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Credibility. - Aw. What a gyp", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Jebediah Springfield has been replaced with a skeleton!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Don't forget to look in his shoes. When I lose something, sometimes it turns up in my shoes", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Well, that's the spirit, Bonesy", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "General Washington?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "We had quitters in the Revolution too. We called them Kentuckians", "c": ["George Washington"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "What's your friend Janey's number? - No! Not Janey! She'll pack the Supreme Court with boys!", "c": ["George Washington", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "I want to help you, George Washington? Even your dreams are square", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Can you open my milk, Mommy? - I'm not Mommy, Ralph. I'm Miss Hoover", "c": ["Ralph", "Ms. Hoover"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "When I pried open the coffin it was there- that shiny tongue sticking out of his mouth... razzing my entire career- my-my life", "c": ["Hollis Hurlbut"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Jebediah was... great", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Because the myth of Jebediah has value too. It's brought out the best in everyone in this town", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Regardless of who said it, a noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "Well, I'd like to, ma'am, but he's too damn good", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 16, "et": "Lisa The Iconoclast"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Who's hospitalized with cirrhosis of the liver! Liver! Liver!", "c": ["Race announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "All right! Liver!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "It sure would be fun to carpool in one of those, huh, kids? I'd be a real hotrod mama, wouldn't I?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Smithers, this beer isn't working. I don't feel any younger or funkier.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Smithers, fetch the bi-oculars.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Damnation! Tell them to go slower.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Could we keep it in first gear for a couple laps?", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "This novelty foam hand is ludicrously oversized. Go swap it for a smaller one.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Hey, Burnsie! This was some swell shindig.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Smithers! Help!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "You should've seen the murderous glint in his eyes, Smithers. And his breath reeked of beer and pretzled bread.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I failed you, and I'll never forgive myself. Never! Never! Never!", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I've alphabetized your breakfast.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I've laminated today's newspaper.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "How am I supposed to do the 'Junior Jumble'?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Oh! I can't even grovel properly. I'm a buffoon.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I don't deserve to live on your planet anymore!", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I'm not a baby who needs a nursemaid to burp me.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "You see?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "714 names? Better be more specific. Lazy. Clumsy. Dimwitted. Monstrously ugly.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Nuts to this. I'll just go get Homer Simpson.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "You know, Homer, assisting Mr. Burns could give your career a real shot in the arm.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Mom, I just said that. - Sor-ry.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Next time, get your own darn corn.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Um, is this the chair I'll be sitting on?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "it's just 2,800 small jobs.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "moistening his eyeballs... assisting with his chewing and swallowing... lying to Congress", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Mr. Burns has a mother? She must be a hundred million years old.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "She has limited capacities. All she can do is dial and yell.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "He never forgave her for having that affair with President Taft.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Taft, you old dog.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I don't understand 2,700 of my new duties.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Um, what do I do in case of fire?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Good Lord, Smithers! You look atrocious. I thought I told you to take a vacation.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "A single pillow of shredded wheat... some steamed toast and a dodo egg.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "But I think the dodo went extinct-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Um, can you repeat the part of the stuff... where you said all about the... things?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Lousy two-legged pants.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Doughnuts? I told you I don't like ethnic food.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Uh, they all won.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Well, you can either get up or go back to sleep.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "The accounting department is located on the third floor. Its hours are 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. The head of this department is a Mr. Johnson or Johnstone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Is it about my cube?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "This Simpson fellow seems to be getting dumber by the minute. I've never seen anything quite like it.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Bart! Leave Simpson alone. - Simpson, I need a ride to the library.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Sixty watts? What do you think this is, a tanning salon?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "You're a travesty of a f- joke of an assistant!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Except... I killed Mr. Burns!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I punched Burns right in his 104-year-old face.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants... so you can watch me kick the crap outta you!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Cease your ingress.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "which lever is the velocitator... and which the deceleratrix", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Beep-beep! Out of my way! I'm a motorist.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Ahoy! Ahoy! No, you have the wrong number. This is 5246. I suspect you need more practice working your telephone machine.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "You're fired. Ta.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "if you got fired from the- those things that... you do.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "We're gonna have to put a steel rod where your spine was.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Do we need all those 'mayhems'? We do.", "c": ["Smithers", "Race announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Your job is to distract Barney until it's safely off the truck.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I'll wager dollars to doughnuts... he still can't handle a call from his mother.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "That improvident lackwit! Always too busy stridin' about his atom mill to call his own mother.", "c": ["Mrs. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I'll give him what for till he cries brassafrax!", "c": ["Mrs. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Um, sorry about pulling the plug on you and all.", "c": ["Homer impersonating Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Mrs. Burns is 122 years old, so try to sound more desiccated.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I just called to say I don't love you.", "c": ["Homer impersonating Mrs. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Stop fighting like a girl, Simpson!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Ring! Ring! Ring! - D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! - It's for you. - D'oh!", "c": ["Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Ring! Ring! Ring! / D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! / It's for you. / D'oh!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "Here comes the endangered condor into the power lines.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "I've got Bobo, hot from the dryer. Careful not to burn yourself on his eye.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "What'd you get that for? For knocking Mr. Burns out of a third-story window. Makes sense to me.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 17, "et": "Homer The Smithers"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "If I ever stop loving violence, I want you to shoot me. - Will do.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Oh! Why can't they just take the gun?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Perhaps because you are a prepubescent ignoramus.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Are you the creator of Hi and Lois? Because you are making me laugh.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "I simply can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go! Go, for the good of the city.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Oh, nerts!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Which one's Itchy- the car? - The mouse.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Oh, isn't this just the most fun you've ever had in your life, Dave? - Yes, Suzanne. It is.", "c": ["TV Anchors"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Certainly seems to be a poorly planned parade route.", "c": ["TV Anchor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Get outta Bumtown, ya no-talent bum! Show some respect, man. That 'no-talent' created Itchy and Scratchy.", "c": ["Bumtown Resident", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "When I complained, his thugs kicked me out of his office and dropped an anvil on me. Luckily I was carrying an umbrella at the time.", "c": ["Chester Lampwick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Before I came along, all cartoon animals did was play the ukulele. I changed all that.", "c": ["Chester Lampwick"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not callin' you a liar, but- but I can't think of a way to finish that sentence.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Look out, Itchy.! He's Irish.!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Shh.! That's Teddy Roosevelt.", "c": ["Chester"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "That was a nice film I had once. Last time I try to impress a four-year-old.", "c": ["Chester Lampwick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "He's a good man. Every Christmas he goes down to the pound and rescues one cat and one mouse and gives them to a hungry family.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Hmm, studio's closed until Tuesday. Animators have A.A. on Monday.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Do you know what radon is? - No. - Good night.", "c": ["Bart", "Chester"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "He's not a regular bum, Mom. He's a genius bum.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "$800 billion.", "c": ["Chester Lampwick"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Oh, they got this all screwed up.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "No, money down! Oops. I shouldn't have this Bar Association logo here either.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "I gave you a plate of corn muffins back in 1947 to paint my chicken coop. And you never did it! - Those corn muffins were lousy. - Paint my chicken coop! - Make me!", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson", "Chester Lampwick"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "That does it. One of them has to go. - Okay. Grandpa. - No, the B-U-M. - Oh.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Brown-Nose Bear, Disgruntled Goat, Flatulent Fox, Rich Uncle Skeleton, and Dinner Dog.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "I gave him a couple of blintzes to paint my fence- but he never did it! - Those blintzes were terrible. - Paint my fence! - Make me.", "c": ["Krusty", "Chester"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "I gave him a couple of blintzes to paint my fence... but he never did it! - Those blintzes were terrible. - Paint my fence! - Make me.", "c": ["Krusty", "Chester"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Order! Order! We don't care about your blintzes.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "If I hear 'objection' and 'sustained' one more time today, I think I'm going to scream. - Objection. - Sustained.", "c": ["Judge", "Lawyer", "Judge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "The only characters Myers could ever come up with were pathetic stick figures with the words 'Sarcastic Horse' and 'Manic Mailman' printed on 'em.", "c": ["Chester"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Except for Flatulent Fox. That was based on a true story.", "c": ["Roger Myers Jr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Well, Your Honor, we've got plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are... kinds of evidence.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Your moxie more than makes up for your lack of talent. Your pal, ChesterJ. Lampwick.", "c": ["Bart reading inscription"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Animation is built on plagiarism. If it weren't for someone plagiarizing The Honeymooners we wouldn't have The Flintstones. If someone hadn't ripped off Sergeant Bilko, there'd be no Top Cat.", "c": ["Roger Myers Jr."], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Huckleberry Hound? Chief Wiggum? Yogi Bear? Ha! Andy Griffith. Edward G. Robinson. Art Carney.", "c": ["Roger Myers Jr."], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Your Honor, you take away our right to steal ideas where are they gonna come from- her? Uh- hmm- How 'bout... Ghost Mutt?", "c": ["Roger Myers Jr.", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "I hope you're happy, kid. The studio's bankrupt. You just killed Itchy and Scratchy.", "c": ["Roger Myers Jr."], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "As for the rest of it, I'm gonna buy the one thing I've been dreaming of all the years I spent in the gutter: a solid gold house.", "c": ["Chester Lampwick"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "I'm an amendment to be Yes, an amendment to be And I'm hopin' that they'll ratify me", "c": ["Amendment"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "There's a lot of flag burners Who have got too much freedom I wanna make it legal for policemen to beat 'em", "c": ["Amendment"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "It's one of those campy, '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation X'ers. We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Then I'll crush all opposition to me And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay If he fights back I'll say that he's gay", "c": ["Amendment"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "So it's true. Some cartoons do encourage violence.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "I can't even keep my dad's head in the freakin' cryogenic center anymore.", "c": ["Roger Myers Jr."], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "I don't need any more money. I'm not greedy. As long as I've got my health and my millions of dollars and my gold house and my rocket car I don't need anything else.", "c": ["Chester Lampwick"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "You've even foiled Sideshow Bob on five separate occasions, and he's an evil genius.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "He discovered that the Postal Service's Mr. Zip was just a rip-off of my father's stick figure character Manic Mailman.", "c": ["Roger Myers Jr."], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "What the hell is going on? - I don't know. But it looks like you might have a little competition all of a sudden.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "This is a great vindication for anybody who was ever taking a bath went to get the paper, fell down and had the door slam behind them and the doorknob break off.", "c": ["Chester Lampwick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Hey, great. Listen. Write it down and mail it to last week, when I might have cared.", "c": ["Roger Myers Jr."], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Well, technically everything worked out all right, but- But? Well, I wasn't the one who solved the problem and neither was Lisa. There's something unsettling about that.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 18, "et": "The Day The Violence Died"}, {"t": "Well, it's not quite a mop and it's not quite a puppet, but, man- So, to answer your question, I don't know.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Why'd they make that one Muppet out of leather?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Those weird things they say he does down at the aquarium. Why, I heard- Oh, Homer! That's just an urban legend. People don't do that type of thing with fish.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Troy McClure's a perfect gentleman, like Bing Crosby or J.F.K.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such films as The Greatest Story Ever Hulaed and They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "You wouldn't ask a handsome man like me to wear glasses! It'd be a crime against nature!", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Well, they do kind of make you look like a nerd. Tell you what. Just go down to the D.M.V. tomorrow and try to pass that eye test. I'll tear up this ticket, but I'm still gonna have to ask you for a bribe.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "How come no Chippendales dancers ever come in to renew their licenses? They carpool. That's the problem.", "c": ["Selma", "Patty"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "No. What I said was he sleeps with the fishes. You see- Uh, Tony, please! No. I just ate a whole plate of 'dingamagoo.'", "c": ["Patty", "Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "I remember you from such films as Meet Joe Blow and Give My Remains to Broadway.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "W... seven, star, pound.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Look, Miss... 'Boo-Veer.'", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Hmm? Hmm. Hmm. Mm-mmm. Hmm. Hmm. Oh.!", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Well, I think I'm getting Repetitive Stress Disorder from scratching my butt all day.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "I've been reading a lot of scripts lately. You know, it's a lot cheaper than going to the movies.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Here you go, boys. A little something for page one.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Maybe those rumors about his fish fetish weren't true after all. This changes everything. I'd pay to see him in a movie now. If only that were possible.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "You haven't found me work in 12 years. Oh, you! Jury duty is work.", "c": ["Troy McClure", "MacArthur Parker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such dates as last night's dinner.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Well, not much happens to me... but I once had dinner with a movie star... and it was the most wonderful night of my life. Really? Who was it? George Segal? I hear he plays the banjo.", "c": ["Selma", "Troy McClure"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Excuse me. I ordered a Zima, not 'emphysema.' Please, don't smoke in our restaurant. We don't serve contemporary California cuisine in your lungs.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "You know, smoke actually smells good when it's coming outta you.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "My God! It's like five cigarettes at once! Oh, my head is swimming! That's not cigars, baby. That's love.", "c": ["Selma", "Troy McClure"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "We may remember- Woman? Huh. Okay. We may remember Troy from such films as The Verdict Was Mail Fraud and Leper in the Backfield.", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Looks like you were wrong when you called him a washed-up deviant, Laurie. All right. Make sure my iguana's okay.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Garbage collection is Monday. If you want to throw out a box, you have to cut it up.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "I'll be sleeping downstairs in the visitor's center. I'll see you in the morning, and get ready for tennis. It comes on at 10:00.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Uh, the movie or the planet?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Get your paws off me, you dirty ape! He can talk! He can talk. He can talk. He can talk! He can talk! He can talk.! He can talk.!", "c": ["Troy McClure", "Ensemble"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius Oh, Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius What's wrong with me I think you're crazy Want a second opinion You're also lazy", "c": ["Troy McClure", "Dr. Zaius"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Can I play the piano anymore Of course you can Well, I couldn't before", "c": ["Troy McClure", "Dr. Zaius"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "I hate every ape I see From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Hi. I remember you from such filmstrips as Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll. I was one of the first to speak out against horseplay.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "I know. I know. It's Selma, right?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's a good idea, Homer... but they've already made some movies about World War II. Aw, hell! Well, what about Dracula?", "c": ["Troy McClure", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "And do you, Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Bouvier... take the fabulous Troy McClure to be your lawful wedded husband? I already told you yes.", "c": ["Minister", "Selma"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "And do you, Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Bouvier... take the fabulous Troy McClure to be your lawful wedded husband?", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Mmm. Pointy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Apparently, he doesn't really love Selma... and the marriage is just a sham to help his career. Well, enough talk. Let's snuggle.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "I want to see the Troy McClure I remember from such films... as Make-Out King of Montana and The Electric Gigolo.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Paramount wants you for a buddy comedy with Rob Lowe and Hugh Grant. Those sick freaks?", "c": ["MacArthur Parker", "Troy McClure"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "My sisters have come down with a case of the green-eyed gazungas.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "You're tied down to a man who'd have to bathe to be a slob.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Sure, baby. Is that a problemo?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Sure, I do, like I love Fresca. Isn't that enough?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Are you gay? Gay? I wish! If I were gay, there'd be no problem.", "c": ["Selma", "Troy McClure"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Just smile for the cameras and enjoy Mr. Troy's Wild Ride.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "You can't use Montana, Dakota or Florida- they're taken. Mmm. Oregon? Oh! Pacific Northwest. Very hot.", "c": ["MacArthur Parker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Think what it'll mean! Not just the McBain movie, but maybe my own fragrance- 'Smellin' of Troy'!", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "From now on, she's smoking for two!", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Remember how 'alive with pleasure' they said we were?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Oh, great! We'll adopt. I'll call my agent. He'll find some kid who wants in on the deal.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "Come on, JubJub. Let's go home, and I'll microwave you some nice roaches.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel", "c": ["TV Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 19, "et": "A Fish Called Selma"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Ah, spring break in Hong Kong. Custom-made suits at slave-labor prices.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "G.M. Chrysler! I can't afford that!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Or can I? Think, Seymour, think.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Go To Work With Your Parents Day", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Because I've always been an advocate of women in the workplace, Lise. I can't help it if Mom's workplace contains our TV.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Please note: Homemaker is not allowed as it is not real work. That's why you don't get paid for it.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Some days we don't let the line move at all. We call those 'weekdays.'", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "But where do they make those crackers with the peanut butter already inside? - Uh, put this on and come with me, son. - Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Factory Worker"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "This has purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "'Cause they won't hire an assistant.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Martin, you're up one million dollars. Yes! But now you've lost all but $600. You got greedy, Martin.", "c": ["Martin's Dad"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Houston- We have a problem. Homer 13 is spinning out of control! I'm going after him!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Boy, this is a lot more fun with a second person.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Hot damn! No more sittin' in the dirt at the drive-in.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Yes, you're right, Milhouse. It is a fake, which makes it a fake I.D.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "We could go rent a carpet shampooer.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Like there's any way to get some kicks with a big wad of cash and a license to drive- Wow.!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Maybe because you are, as we say in Latin, a 'dorkus malorkus.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "That's not Latin. Mom, Bart's faking it!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Oh, honey, you've had your glory. Now it's Bart's turn.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "He sure did.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Oh.! Diablo Canyon 2... why can't you be more like Diablo Canyon 1?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Sure, I would. I can always learn about owls this summer at bird camp.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "We're not going to a grammar rodeo. - That was just an alibi, Milton. - Martin.", "c": ["Bart", "Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "We're not going to a grammar rodeo. That was just an alibi, Milton. Martin.", "c": ["Bart", "Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "What's inside? - An information desk! - Cool!", "c": ["Unknown", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "The way I figure it... if the candy stays in the machine for more than a year, it's up for grabs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Zagnut bar, Mr. Smithers? Razzles, Skittles, Whatchamacallits, Twizzlers? They all have hilarious names and are delicious.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "It'll be just like the time they kicked me out of the sporting goods store.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "That's it! Back to Winnipeg!", "c": ["Unknown parent"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't think I was rehabilitated, but, uh... I guess they needed the extra bed.", "c": ["Hitchhiker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Branson, Missouri. My dad says it's like Vegas if it were run by Ned Flanders.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Who do you love most- me, Bart or Maggie? - D'oh! All right. Dare.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Dad, you tell everybody everything. Even Moe knew when I threw up on the dentist.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "I like... Langdon Alger. - I have no idea who that is. - Nobody does. He's very quiet and enjoys puzzles.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "You're 14 years too late. - But there's another world's fair coming soon, right? - Before Friday?", "c": ["Employee", "Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "You mean the wig sphere. You're welcome to go up there... if you want to see 16,000 boxes of unsold wigs.", "c": ["Employee"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "I must have spent our last $10 on this Al Gore doll. - You are hearing me talk.", "c": ["Martin", "Al Gore doll"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "But on the plus side, I knocked over the sun sphere. - Ha-ha!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "This never would've happened if we'd gone to Macon, Georgia. I'm just sayin', is all.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "These lenses are perfect. Now I can rebottom those antique Coke bottles.", "c": ["Antique dealer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "I knew it! I knew it! Because why would they have our national grammar rodeo in another nation?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "No, that's a terrier. They're dogs.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Simpson, how would you like to escort 500 Big Macs to Marlon Brando's island?", "c": ["Courier boss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Bart rented a car with a phony driver's license... and drove Milhouse, Nelson and Martin to a wig outlet in Knoxville... and the car got crushed, and they're out of money and they can't get home... and Bart's working as a courier and just came back from Hong Kong.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "I will send Bart the money to fly home, then I will murder him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Oh, God, no! Oh, this can't be happening! You're operating without a T-437, Springfield! Oh, sweet mother of mercy! I mean- I mean, my God!", "c": ["Oak Ridge worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "Forget the name Homer Simpson. Have it sent care of Langdon Alger.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "It's gettin' too commercial. They've forgotten it's supposed to be about the grammar.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "I don't know where to begin telling you what's wrong with that.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 20, "et": "Bart On The Road"}, {"t": "I try not to. It makes it harder to spit on 'em.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Milhouse zones out completely when he sees a convertible", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "for the next five minutes I'm going to party like it's on sale for 19.99", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Quick, quick. No time to cook them. They will plump in my stomach.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "No ring, I see. So you are only arranged to be married.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I'll tell everybody you were untouchable.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "You took four minutes of my life, and I want them back.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Oh, I'd only waste 'em anyway.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Maybe it's just shampoo. That washes right out.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "if I remember my Heloise, the trick to getting out gum... is peanut butter.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "I smell like a sandwich.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "They cause me to, uh, die.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Oh, 'tuddle' Sunday trousers.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Stick your left hoof on that flange now!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Now pump those scrawny chicken legs, you stuporous funker!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Holy smokes! You need booze.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "But I cleaned them with my napkin.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "I get here earlier when I drive in the car pool lane.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "You're going to give yourself skin failure.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "bonus eruptus... where the skeleton tries to leap out the mouth and escape the body", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "transdental electromicide... golf cart motor with a 1,000-volt capacimator", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Give me a Van Heflin.", "c": ["Patient"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "You owe me $70 billion... No wait, that's for the Voyager spacecraft. Your tab's $14 billion.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Well, that's halfway there.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "I'm behind three inches of bulletproof glass. Do your worst.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Stay out of there! Oh! Good God, no!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Good-bye student loan payments.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Delightfully devilish, Seymour.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "I was just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers... Yes. It's a regional dialect.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe... For steamed hams.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Aurora borealis... at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.83, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Aurora borealis at this time of year... at this time of day in this part of the country... localized entirely within your kitchen?", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Yes... May I see it? ...No.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Yes. - May I see it? - No.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "you are an odd fellow... but I must say you steam a good ham.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Come on, Maggie. Maybe if you just squeeze a little.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "The dog.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "No! Bad dog! Bad dog!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "You know, I went to the McDonald's in, uh, Shelbyville on Friday night. / The Mc-what?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese. / Get out. Well, what do they call it? / A Quarter Pounder with cheese.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "A Quarter Pounder with cheese... Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but...", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "They call 'em shakes... 'Shakes.' You don't know what you're gettin'.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Ay. Que d\u00eda miserable a trabajo.", "c": ["Bumblebee Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Ay.!: Naranjas en la cabeza.!", "c": ["Bumblebee Man"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Better get the old snow shovel back from Homer, huh?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "I seem to have mashed more hair into it.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Chewing gum's got to be chewed out.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "All right! Fangoria will give me 25 bucks for this shot.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Don't try to dig gum out with a bone. It just makes things worse.", "c": ["Santa's Little Helper"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Leave it in as evidence. Bazooka Joe's got deep pockets.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "And scuff up the topless dancin' runway? Nah.", "c": ["Brandine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Hey, Ma! Get off the dang roof!", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore. It is worth $150.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "A child has already solved the Jumble using crayons. The answer is 'fries.'", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "You keep squirming, there's going to be a little bald girl with no lollipop.", "c": ["Hairdresser"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "This was the largest auto that I could afford. Should I therefore be made the subject of fun?", "c": ["Tall Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Wave to the people. Blow them kisses.", "c": ["Tall Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Wave to the people. Blow them kisses.", "c": ["Tall Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "There was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "Professor Frink Professor Frink / He'll make you laugh He'll make you think / He likes to run and then the thing with the / Person", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 21, "et": "22 Short Films About Springfield"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Oh, jabber jacks! Schoolhouse don't put out spittoons, I ain't responsible.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "we'd all love to share in your wisdom, experience, yadda, yadda, yadda", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "how many of you drove your house to school today?", "c": ["Milhouse's grandfather"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "No, I'm not Superman. I just own an R.V.", "c": ["Milhouse's grandfather"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "You're livin'in a fool's paradise, Van Houten.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "If you fell down in the shower, that thing'd be your tomb.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "No, I'm not Superman. I'm a judge.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Why, just this morning I sentenced my 46th man to death. No, 47th.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "I do have slippers and an oatmeal spoon.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Now, my story begins in nineteen dickety-two. We had to say 'dickety,' 'cause the kaiser had stolen our word 'twenty.'", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "I chased that rascal to get it back... but gave up after dickety-six miles.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Dickety? Highly dubious.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "What are you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie. That's your problem.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "discuss how I invented the 'terlet.'", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Stop your snickering! I spent three years on that terlet!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "You already put him in a home.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Maybe it's time we put him in one where he can't get out.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Look at Jacques Cousteau and Goldie Hawn.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "What about Social Security, bus discounts... medic alert jewelry, Gold Bond powder... pants all the way up to your armpits...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "That means the fortune's almost mine.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "until he was replaced by a Moldermatic and died.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Over my dead body it will! That's exactly the point!", "c": ["Grampa", "Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "How long was that?", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Mesmerists, dowsers, Luddites, alienists... Zoroastrians, alphabetizers- Aha! Assassins!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "perhaps if we wait, nature will assassinate him for us.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Ah, Marion Barry. Is it time for another shipment already?", "c": ["Fernando"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Ah, Del Monte.", "c": ["Fernando"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Enjoy them, old man. They will be your last.", "c": ["Fernando"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Ah, he's more clever than he looks.", "c": ["Fernando"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "There is one more way to kill a man... but it is as intricate and precise... as a well-played game of chess.", "c": ["Fernando"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Was that me, or was that you?", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Okay, we'll do something about that right away. Let's start by doubling your medication.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Sweet merciful McGillicutty! You gotta open the door!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "And it sounds like he's gotten into the horseradish again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "And then a knife flew at my head! And you were there... and you were there.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Bart's room. Bart's room. Bart's room. Dumpster.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Wrinkly gibberish?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "I got this in the Second World War II.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "the fightingest squad in the fightingest company... in the third-fightingest battalion in the army.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Um, if anybody finds a grenade without a pin, that's mine.", "c": ["Iggy Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Well, I didn't join the service to make friends.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Haven't you won the war yet?", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Duh, hey! You said you was dead.", "c": ["Ox"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Well, he got busted down for obstructing a probe from J. Edgar Hoover.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "They took a photo of my keister for Stars and Stripes! At least they told me it was for Stars and Stripes.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "We'll all be rich- rich as Nazis.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Wow! I'd like to be as rich as the Nazis!", "c": ["Ox"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "I could buy chicken dinners three times a day.", "c": ["Soldier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "I'd hate to wind up in one of them old folks' homes.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Well put, Oxford.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Ox was the first to go. He got a hernia carrying the crate out of the castle.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Five more men died in the Veterans Day float disaster of'79.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Could've used a vampire though.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "I won't eat much, and I don't know the difference between right and wrong.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "the child labor people have been watching me like a hawk.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "As they say, 'time is Monets.'", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Oh, terribly sorry. Back to sleep, little girl. Santa?", "c": ["Burns", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "You gotta do it for Ox and Asa and Griff and Burnsie! Well, not so much Burnsie.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "put your manhood to the ultimate test and take- Pass.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "If they're anything like me, they have to get up twice.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "you're all welcome to visit me in Rich Man's Heaven.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Well, howdy-doodilly, stranger. Couldn't help but notice you stealing my boat.", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Ooh, sounds spine-tingly-dingling. Just promise you'll have a good time.", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "You could've made sergeant.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "I'll thank you to stop pinching my Botticelli.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "So long, Sarge. See you at the reunion in November.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "It's been an honor to serve you, sir.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "You're out of my unit. You're out of the tontine. And that means the paintings are mine! Private, you are dismissed!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Ja, ja, ja. Mach schnell mit the art things, huh? I must get back to Dance Central in Stuttgart in time to see Kraftwerk.", "c": ["Baron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "I won't get embarrassed. I don't care who knows I love my grampa.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Hey, fun boys! Get a room!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "Shh!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 4.0, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 22, "et": "Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Gra"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Open the door, Maude! I don't have time for the secret knock!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "A large bearlike animal, most likely a bear... has wandered down from the hills in search of food or, perhaps, employment.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Looks like bad news for the... Impson family.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Everyone's gonna be just fine, as long as I've got enough beers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "If I'm gonna be trapped inside the house... I gotta go out and buy some beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Now, to drop gracefully through the windshield.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Sweet dreams, Smokey.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Book 'em, Lou. One count of being a bear.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "And one count of being an accessory to being a bear.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge, it was horrible! We were trapped in the house all afternoon. And, well, we had to drink toilet water.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "It's like a freakin' Country Bear Jamboroo around here!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "This is the first and only bear I've ever seen.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Oh, I heard it at the mustache parade they have every year.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "They swiped my 'pic-a-nic' basket.", "c": ["Unknown citizen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "That's specious reasoning, Dad. - Thank you, honey.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Thank you, honey.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "By your logic, I could claim this rock keeps tigers away... But I don't see any tigers around here, do you?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Lisa, I want to buy your rock.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Bear Patrol Tax $5.00. What? This is an outrage! It's the biggest tax increase in history!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Actually, Dad, it's the smallest tax increase in history.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Are these morons getting dumber, or just louder? - Dumber, sir.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Aide"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Dumber, sir.", "c": ["Aide"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "'Immigants.' I knew it was them! Even when it was the bears, I knew it was them.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "'Immigants.' I knew it was them!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Hey, German boy! Go back to 'Germania.'", "c": ["Unknown citizen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "You want to pick on immigrants, then pick on Willie!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Willie, please! The children want to pick on someone their own size.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Our schools are so jam-packed with immigrants, kids like Bart have lost the will to learn.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "There's no denying it, Sis.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "I forget which one exactly.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "sliced bread having been invented the previous winter.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "We had to move out once we'd filled the hat with garbage. The end.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "You? I don't believe it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "You? I don't believe it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "There was so much I wanted to see and to do and to have done to me.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "I got so swept up in the scapegoating and fun of Proposition 24", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "You know what really 'aggravateses' me is them 'immigants.'", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Yeah, those are exactly my 'sentimonies.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Calcutta Technical Institute.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "top student in my graduating class of seven million", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "within 100 years, computers will be twice as powerful... 10,000 times larger... and so expensive that only the five richest kings of Europe will own them.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "the computer matches would be so perfect as to eliminate the thrill of romantic conquest.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "200,000 precisely ordered punch cards... comprising the world's very first tic-tac-toe program.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Only the top human players could beat it.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "You're one of the good ones.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Here's my I.D. which confirms my 'adultivity.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Your parents were Herb and Judy Nahasapeemapetilon.", "c": ["Fake ID maker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "The 'Ny' Mets are my favorite squadron.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "I've got Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman staring at me... from Entertainment Weekly with their dead eyes", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "A cheap, $2,000 forgery.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "I'd rather eat poison. My name's already Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "God knows it's long enough without Nahassapetapeeta-whatever.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Hey! The government don't control the sky. What if you lived in a balloon?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "That's it! Did you hear that, Mom? She's as dumb as me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "But why does the American flag have precisely 47 stars?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "The library must have purchased it during the brief period in 1912... after New Mexico became a state, but before Arizona did.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "No, no and no. Maybe we should start all over with the electrical college.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Hey, hey! Just say slavery.", "c": ["Test examiner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Now, which way to the welfare office? What? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I work. I work.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Now, which way to the welfare office? What? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I work. I work.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Except Native Americans. - Yeah. Native Americans like us. - No. I mean American Indians. - Like me.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "If I could just say a few words... I'd be a better public speaker.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Democracy doesn't work!", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Oh! Today I am truly an American citizen. - Jury duty!", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Ach! Ingrates.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 23, "et": "Much Apu About Nothing"}, {"t": "Otto waking up from dream about being a safe bus driver while actually driving the bus", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Letter waiving legal responsibility 'in perpetuity, throughout the universe'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Marge's enthusiastic 'Hey! Every day will be like a road trip! With your dad! To school!'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "'You jive turkey!' demonstration with emphasis on 'you got to sass it'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Classic hits from ABBA to Zeppelin, comma, Led", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's passionate Grand Funk Railroad description: 'The wild, shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner? The bong-rattling bass of Mel Schacher? The competent drum work of Don Brewer?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "For more information on Grand Funk... consult your school library", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's head-nodding explanation: 'Yes! Yes! Yes! This rocks!' then 'No! No! No! Don't stop a-rockin'!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's rock genealogy ending with 'The Alan Parsons Project... which I believe was some sort of hovercraft'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Bart and Lisa's coordinated insult: 'You have the worst, lamest taste in music ever!' and correction of 'party' to 'par-tay'", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "'There can be only one truly great music festival a lifetime, and it's the Us Festival'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "'What computers?' / 'Why do you need new bands? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact.'", "c": ["Record Store Clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "'Gentlemen, say hello to the Second Base-Mobile'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's profound observation: 'I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "I used to be 'with it.' But then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it,' and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 9.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "No way, man. We're gonna keep on rockin' forever. Forever. Forever.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Marge's dismissive 'Music is none of my business'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's declining party schedule: 'rock and roll all night and party ev-er-y day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Milhouse's desperate 'Hey, wait! I'm okay today! My mom bought me deodorant!'", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's excuse for forgetting Milhouse: 'I must be getting forgetful in my old age. Open the glove compartment and fetch me my brain medicine'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Authentic Hullabalooza ticket with product placements: 'For authentic refreshment, eat Clark bars. And for totally outrageous class rings, it's Jostens. Go, Jostens!'", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Festival security demands: 'Throw your cameras out. Surrender all identification. Ohh! My homemade Kahlua!'", "c": ["Security", "Attendee"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Lisa's ironic observation: 'Generation X may be shallow, but at least they have tolerance and respect for all people.' Cut to 'Hey! A freak show!'", "c": ["Lisa", "Concert-goers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Lost child announcement: 'If she's not claimed within the next hour... she will become property of Blockbuster Entertainment'", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "'What is that smell?' 'It smells like Otto's jacket.' followed by drug reference dialogue", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's Rastafarian defense: 'Hey, I been safari-in' since before you were born'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's Steve Martin impression: 'Well, excu-u-use me!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Concert crowd calling Homer 'narc' and asking about hate crimes", "c": ["Concert-goers", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "'Making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel'", "c": ["Concert Promoter"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Peter Frampton's outrage: 'You're damn right I'm gonna be pissed off! I bought that pig at Pink Floyd's yard sale!'", "c": ["Peter Frampton"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Freak show promoter: 'I've been looking for a big fatso to shoot with a cannon. I'd like very much for you to be that fatso'", "c": ["Freak Show Promoter", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's response to Marge's logic: 'You know, Marge, in some ways... you and I are very different people'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's backhanded compliment: 'And thanks to your gloomy music... they've finally stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "I finally tapped into that spirit of self-destruction that makes rock and roll the king of music", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "'Are you being sarcastic, dude?' 'I don't even know anymore'", "c": ["Concert-goer 1", "Concert-goer 2"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Springfield water rule: 'If it's brown, drink it down. If it's black, send it back'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's A/V club story: 'Really? Me too. But I got kicked out 'cause of my views on Vietnam. Also, I was stealing projectors'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Doctor's specific medical advice: 'rest your beer on your head or your genitals'", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's rock response to death threat: 'Die? Well, you don't scare me, Doc. 'Cause dyin' would be a stone groove!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "'Got any messages for Jimi Hendrix?' 'Yes. Pick up your puppy'", "c": ["Homer", "Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Dad, do you wear boxers or briefs? Nope! What religion are you? You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life. Uh, Christianity", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "London Symphony Orchestra mix-up: 'Somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra. Possibly while high! Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your direction'", "c": ["Backstage Manager"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Cypress Hill and London Symphony Orchestra collaboration on 'Insane in the Brain'", "c": ["Cypress Hill", "London Symphony Orchestra"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Mr. Burns on Ticketmaster: 'Nobody's going to pay a hundred-percent service charge.' 'Well, it's a policy that ensures a healthy mix of the rich and the ignorant, sir'", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's realization: 'Cannons are designed to hurt. They're designed to hurt!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Homer's appetite metaphor: 'I thought I had an appetite for destruction... but all I wanted was a club sandwich'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge, I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Freak show manager's firing: 'There's nothing worse than a yellow-bellied freak. Unless that's his act'", "c": ["Freak Show Manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Smashing Pumpkins' lament: 'We envy you, Homer. All we have is our music, our legions of fans... our millions of dollars and our youth'", "c": ["Billy Corgan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to be told you're cool. Sure you do. How else would you know?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 24, "et": "Homerpalooza"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "It's the last day of school, Milhouse. Try to show some dignity.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, start your chimes.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "School's out! Up yours, Krabappel!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Well, I'm glad the rest of you remembered that summer vacation starts at the end of the day, not the beginning. Quick work. How'd you know he was gonna run? We've got someone on the inside.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel", "Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "The leatheroleum covers were worth the extra money! Oh! You can smell the benzene! Oh, when the kids see these layouts and fonts... you're going to be the most popular girl in school!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Well, that's it. Have a nice summer, everyone. But what happened in Ford's Theatre? Was President Lincoln okay? He was fine.", "c": ["Teacher", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Who died and made you boss? Mr. Estes, the publications adviser. I edited the whole thing.", "c": ["Student", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "If you hadn't done it, some other loser would have, so quit milking it.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "This is Becky. She's in the second grade. Hi, Becky. Thanks for coming out.", "c": ["Lisa", "Becky"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "See ya. He writes the way people talk!", "c": ["Becky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Your daughter is named Seymour? Well, I-Yeah. I lied. It's for me.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "I don't get it. Straight A's, perfect attendance, bathroom timer- I should be the most popular girl in school.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Homer, I'm in a rhubarb of a pickle of a jam here.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Oh, it's a corker of a case. Seems a man drove up onto a traffic island and hit a decorative rowboat full of geraniums. Now they're trying it as a maritime offense.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "I only get two weeks of vacation a year and you want me to spend it in your lousy beach house?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Well, if it'll seal the deal... I'll take a look at your septic tank, see if I can get her humming again.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Deal! See, Flanders? You give a little, you get a little.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Hello, Mr. Brown Ground. What you got for me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "A friend- or a companion... or- I don't know- a stuffed animal.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Friends? Huh! These are my only friends- grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal. And even he's kissed more boys than I ever will.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Be myself? I've been myself for eight years, and it hasn't worked.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "A microscope at the beach? Aah! What was I thinking?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Nah. Maybe you're getting stronger. Well, I have been eating more.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Bye-bye, job. Bye-bye, toothbrush. Bye-bye, Lisa Simpson.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "It's called Little Pwagmattasquarmsettport. It's known as America's scrod basket.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "I thought Springfield was America's scrod basket. No. Springfield is America's crud bucket... at least according to Newsweek.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Wel-diddly-elcome, Simpsons. Oh, geez! He actually wrote 'diddly.' That was thoughtful.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Well, duh! With what, Ned?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Well, it's kind of funny. With all the craziness and confusion and meshuggaas of packing, I forgot to pack!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "I forgot my swimsuit, too, but I improvised. Hello.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "It has a starfish on the fanny, and it comes with its own pail.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Last one in is a yearbook editor! Full speed ahead! Prepare to dive! Dive!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "It's low tide, boys.", "c": ["Bystander"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "No, I can't. That's the old, nerdy Lisa.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Lisa, read about my adventures in the South Seas... and make me live again. We've got periodicals on microfiche.", "c": ["Book/Librarian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Won't you join our tea party? It would be ever so- Don't do it, Lisa! It's a trick! Run! Run!", "c": ["Books", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "So he goes, like- I can totally hear him going that. Only kids are that incoherent!", "c": ["Cool kids", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Like, you know, whatever.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "A compliment! Scanning for sarcasm. It's clean. Go!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Yeah. And you just know they're using them, like, five minutes later down at the station.", "c": ["Cool kid"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Me? Unlikely. My gooney brother's always going to libraries. I usually hang out in front.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Well, it beats doin' stuff. Yeah. Stuff sucks.", "c": ["Cool kid", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "That's very, um, rad of you.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "And she looks like Blossom.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "That kid, like, tries too hard. Sh'yeah! The whole thing smacks of effort, man.", "c": ["Cool kids"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "That's my dorky little brother, Bart- holomew.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Who does he think he is with that slingshot in his back pocket? Dennis the Menace? Mr. Wilson or something.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Captain of the football team. He's a dreamboat. Don't wait up, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "You got the dud! Hey, he looks just like you, Poindexter!", "c": ["Homer", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Don't be afraid, little friend. You'll be the most popular crab on the beach.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "No. No, I heard it on Baywatch.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms... a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields... and some illegal fireworks... and one of those disposable enemas- no, make it two.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Not like my mom. She'd be butting in with Rice Krispies squares and Tang.", "c": ["Cool kid"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "He woke me up at dawn to take a loyalty oath.", "c": ["Cool kid"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "My mom's French, so we only celebrate Bastille Day.", "c": ["Cool kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "This baby's sure to kill something.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "The beer!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Oh! This is the worst Fourth of July ever. I hate America.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Don't have a cow, man! See? That's my expression!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Oh. You haven't said that in four years. Let Lisa have it.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Ay, caramba!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "I'm dizzy! I'm nauseous! Oh, but I'm popular!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Miss Perfect Attendance... Grammar Rodeo head buckaroo, the French table. Ooh-la-la!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "I know exactly who I am. I am the sister of a rotten, jealous, mean, little sneak! You cost me my only friends! You've ruined my life!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Look, we don't care who you were... and you can't fake the kind of good person that you are.", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Sweet merciful crap.! My car.!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "The polite thing to do would've been to clean the shells first.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 7, "e": 25, "et": "Summer Of 4 Ft 2"}, {"t": "Maybe it was just the cat. / No, she's sleeping with me. [Cat meows]", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Attic? Oh, that's silly. [Laughing loudly] / Seriously, though, don't ever go up there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "I work my butt off to feed you four kids / What? / Three. We have three kids, Homer. / Yeah. Three nosy kids.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "[Gasps] The unsold copies of Dad's autobiography.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "See, Marge? Who needs a car wash when you can just drive around in the rain?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "I believe they prefer to be called 'conjoined twins.' / And hillbillies prefer to be called 'sons of the soil,' but it ain't gonna happen.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "We chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal and fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week. It saved our marriage.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "We'll search out every place a sick, twisted, solitary misfit might run to. I'll start with Radio Shack.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "You're crazy. / Am I? Well, perhaps we're all a little crazy. I know I am.", "c": ["Bart", "Hugo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Look. I've been practicing. I made a pigeon-rat.", "c": ["Hugo"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Hugo's scar is on the wrong side. He couldn't have been the evil, left twin. That means the evil twin is and always has been... Bart.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Oh, don't look so shocked. W-Well, chalk this one up to carelessness on my part.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Mom, Hugo's eating his napkin. [All laughing] He's so cute.", "c": ["Lisa", "Family"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Oh, you finish your fish heads, then we'll talk.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "That nerds conduct electricity. / Ow!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Hey, these aren't waffles. These are just square pancakes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "That waffle iron's been in the shop forever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "[Gasps] I've created Lutherans.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Hey, you built a model city. Is that the school? Whoops, my finger slipped. Whoops, my finger slipped. Whoops, my finger slipped.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Sooner or later you'll let your guard down and then, flush, it's toilet time for Tiny Town.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "It worked! The debigulator worked!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "We have listened to you speak since the dawn of time, O Creator, and we have learned to 'imitoot' you 'exortly.'", "c": ["Tiny Civilization Leader"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "The devil is your brother? [All gasp] I must say, we find that quite perplexing.", "c": ["Tiny Civilization"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "If you're so good, why do you allow bad things to happen? Why am I so fat?", "c": ["Bill Watson"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Un-shrink you? Well, that would require some sort of a 'rebigulator'... which is a concept so ridiculous it makes me want to laugh out loud and chortle", "c": ["Tiny Civilization Leader"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Shouldn't you people be groveling? And bring me some shoes- nice ones. / She'll want socks too. I'll get socks.", "c": ["Lisa", "Tiny Person"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "So peaceful and relaxing- doesn't even matter if I catch a single fish. Come on, you stupid fish. Take the bait! Don't make me come down there!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Bob Dole doesn't need this.", "c": ["Bob Dole"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, Lyndon LaRouche was right!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Rum- so no one will believe your story!", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "That's Slick Willie for you- always with the smooth talk.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Well, a refreshingly frank response there from Senator Bob Dole.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Abortions for all. [Crowd booing] Very well. No abortions for anyone. [Crowd booing] Hmm. Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others. [Crowd cheers]", "c": ["Fake Bob Dole/Kang"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected. Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss.", "c": ["Kang", "Kodos"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.", "c": ["Fake Clinton/Kodos"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say we must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!", "c": ["Fake Clinton/Kodos"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "I am so mad at the Secret Service right now.", "c": ["Real Clinton"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "It's a two-party system. You have to vote for one of us.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate. / Go ahead. Throw your vote away.", "c": ["Citizen", "Kang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Vii"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Here we are. Ten years' experience. His name is-", "c": ["Globex recruiter"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I get more money, plus health benefits for me and my life partner.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "You took a new job in a strange town without discussing it with your family? Of course not. I wouldn't do that. Why not?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I always wanted to own the Dallas Cowboys. [Laughing]", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Dad. I just find that very cute.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Just bring the rut with ya, honey.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Uh, let's watch something else. Homer, you're trying to talk us into moving to this place. Oh, yeah, that's right.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Your dreams may vary from those of Globex Corporation, its subsidiaries and shareholders.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "did you notice how the people weren't shoving or knocking each other down? I've never been to a place like that before. Ow! Me neither.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Oh, wow! Windows! [Chuckles]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I would like to use your rest room, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Ha! Now you know how it feels! Thank you. Come again.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "[Both] Hey!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Okilly-dokilly! Bye-didilly-eye!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "This town's been awfully good to us. No, it hasn't, Dad. That's why we're leaving. Oh, yeah. So long, Stinktown!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "one of these giant redwood trees can provide enough sawdust to cover an entire day's worth of vomit at Disneyland.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I call this room.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Try the papayas. They're juicy and full of papain. Makes you strong like Popeye. Popeye, papain. See? Same thing. Uh, forget it.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Don't call me that word. I don't like things that elevate me above the other people. I'm just like you. Sure, I come later in the day, I get paid a lot more and I take longer vacations, but I don't like the word 'boss.'", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Look at my feet. You like those moccasins? Look in your closet. There's a pair for you. Don't like 'em? Then neither do I! Get the hell outta here! Ha!", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Ever seen a guy say good-bye to a shoe? Yes, once.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "We don't have bums. If we did, they wouldn't rush. They'd be allowed to go at their own pace.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Well, better go upstairs and make sure the beds are still made.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Don't call me Mr. Scorpion. It's Mr. Scorpio, but don't call me that either. Call me Hank.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "At Globex, we don't believe in walls. Matter of fact, I didn't even give you my coat.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "My butt is for sitting, not for kissing.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Homer, don't give up. They laughed at me the first time I wore jeans with a sport coat. I was the first wealthy man in America to ever do that. Now they all do it!", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Homer, I gotta go upstairs. There's a problem. Somebody ate part of my lunch.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "You got a fresh sound. It'll play well at this school.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "'Cause I've been looking for someone to boss me around.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "So, you never learned cursive? Uh, well, I know hell and damn and bit- Cursive handwriting. Script.", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I moved here from Canada, and they think I'm slow, eh? I fell off the jungle gym, and when I woke up I was in here. I start fires.", "c": ["Special Ed Students"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Let me get this straight. We're behind the rest of our class and we're going to catch up to them by going slower than they are?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Sounds to me like someone's got a case of the 's'pose'das.'", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Hello, Mr. Chipmunk. You're a northern reticulated chipmunk. Yes, you are. You are so reticulated.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "a baseball made out of Secretariat!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "To Berman's Dry Cleaning. Best wishes, Tom Landry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "What you guys need is hammocks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut. That's on Third. There's Hammocks-R-Us. That's on Third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There. That's on Third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. That's on Third. Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex. It's the hammock complex on Third. Oh, the hammock district. That's right.", "c": ["Store Clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, the 59th Street bridge! Maybe it just collapsed on its own. We can't take that chance. You always say that. I want to take a chance.", "c": ["Government Officials"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "You know, there's a little place called Mary Ann's Hammocks. The nice thing about that place is Mary Ann gets in the hammock with you. [Laughs] I'm just kidding.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "By the way, Homer, what's your least favorite country? Italy or France? France. [Chuckles] Nobody ever says Italy.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Sugar? Sure. Here you go. Sorry it's not in packages. Want some cream?", "c": ["James Bond-style villain"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "So, do you expect me to talk? I don't expect anything from you except to die and be a very cheap funeral.", "c": ["Secret Agent", "Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I tackled a loafer at work today.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Nice work, Homer! Am I proud of you! When you go home tonight, there's gonna be another story on your house.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I've been so bored since we moved here I found myself drinking a glass of wine every day. I know doctors say you should drink a glass and a half, but I just can't drink that much.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I can't get in trouble at school. They put me in the remedial class. I'm surrounded by arsonists and kids with mittens pinned to their jackets all year round.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I can't get in trouble at school. They put me in the remedial class. I'm surrounded by arsonists and kids with mittens pinned to their jackets all year round.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "My team is way ahead of the weather machine and germ warfare divisions.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Oh, those jerks- always walking over the small businessman. Don't get me started about the government.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Let 'em go. You'll stay here with me. We'll go bowling.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "But, Homer, on your way out, if you wanna kill somebody, it would help me a lot.", "c": ["Hank Scorpio"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "Aw, the Denver Broncos! I think owning the Denver Broncos is pretty good. Yeah, yeah. Well, explain to me why it isn't. [Sighs] You just don't understand football, Marge.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 2, "et": "You Only Move Twice"}, {"t": "I just wish Ben and Hoss and Little Joe... and Hop Sing and Sheriff Roy and all your favorites... could be alive today to see this wonderful turnout. You know, on the series... we were always trying to kill the Cartwrights. But it looks like Father Time took care of that for us, right?", "c": ["Bonanza actor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "This sucks. Weren't there three Indians last year?", "c": ["Bart", "audience member"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "You love high-tech gadgets. No, I don't. Like bull you don't.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Hey, Lis, check out this space-age toothbrush. That's an electric nostril groomer.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "a suede briefcase case? Anyone who needs this kind of status symbol... must have some terrible emotional problems.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Marge, look! 'The world's best jacket.' If I had this, it would show everybody! Show everybody!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "I see. Do you have a receipt, quote-unquote 'sir'?", "c": ["Store clerk", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "I find their choice of prize highly illogical... as the average Trekker has no use for a medium-size belt.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "A fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Very well. I must hurry back to my comic-book store... where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Wow! I bet if God wore pants he'd have a belt like that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "This isn't a belt. It's a tactical pants-retaining system.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "radon/lie detector... sphygmomanometer. And it's even got turn signals.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Well, not really, because yours is just a piece of extension cord.", "c": ["Homer", "Jimbo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Hey, he's turning left!", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but you guys asked for it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Son, there's only one thing punks like that understand. Squealing! You've got to squeal to every teacher and every grownup... you can find. Coming to me was a good start.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "But then they'll just beat me up even worse. Yes, they are a clever bunch.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "That's for telling me how to raise my lousy kid. This is for the crummy life I've had to live.", "c": ["Jimbo's father"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Hey, something's wrong with this guy. He's not falling down.", "c": ["Jimbo's father"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "If you're gonna beat up my friend in my bar, there's a two-drink minimum.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "The only thing a loser like me is good for is taking beatings. There you go! That's the spirit!", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Some of these boxers, they eat steak and lobster... and salad bar all in a single meal. Dressing? Their choice.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Are you man enough to give me a 60 percent cut? Yes! I'll take it.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "When I realized we hadn't had no ladies in here since 1979... I turned it into an office.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "They called me 'Kid Gorgeous.' Later on, it was 'Kid Presentable.' Then 'Kid Gruesome.' And finally, 'Kid Moe.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Oh, that's my old spit bucket. Yeah, I've been meaning to empty that out.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Why not? I got knocked out 40 times in a row. That, plus politics. It's all politics. Lousy Democrats!", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "That's what we get for living in a state founded by circus freaks.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Your brain is cushioned by a layer of fluid... one-eighth of an inch thicker than normal. It's as if you're wearing a football helmet inside your head. Why, I could wallop you all day with this surgical 2-by-4... without ever knocking you down. But I have other appointments.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Why, I could wallop you all day with this surgical 2-by-4 without ever knocking you down. But I have other appointments.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Punching isn't your thing, but that's okay. You're not that kind of fighter. What you're gonna do is stand there... while your opponent gets exhausted from over-punching. Then I can push him over. That's right. If the ref's not looking, you kick him a couple of times.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Man, you'd never get me into a ring! Boxing causes brain damage.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Brawled his way up from the boxcars, did he? No, not yet. He still lives at the train yard. But he's a hungry young fighter. In fact, he's actually fighting for a sandwich.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "No, not yet. He still lives at the train yard. But he's a hungry young fighter. In fact, he's actually fighting for a sandwich.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "What's this? That's the barbed wire. We called that 'the stinger.' They don't let you use that no more.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Man, that tramp's got the energy of a hobo! Yeah. He never stops punching, except to check on his bindle.", "c": ["Audience members"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Managing Drederick has been my highest priority... even though he is incarcerated... for pushing his mother down the stairs.", "c": ["Lucius Sweet"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "for his glorious return to the shores of 'Fistiana'! Of what? His comeback fight. You know, boxing?", "c": ["Lucius Sweet", "Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Yeah, but Homer's no boxer. He's just a freak. Tatum will fustigate him!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Tatum will fustigate him!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "General. Who's Drederick Tatum, anyway? Is he another hobo?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. Believe me. My God, if I could turn back the clock... on my mother's stair-pushing, I would certainly reconsider it.", "c": ["Drederick Tatum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "But I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children. You know, they do have a mother. Yes. But I would imagine that she would die of grief.", "c": ["Drederick Tatum", "Reporter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Happy anniversary, baby! Have you lost your mind?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "A snooty butler, carpeted carports... those blue cupcakes they sell sometimes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "The odds against you winning are 1000-to-1. Well, I don't think it's that unlikely.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "All right. I think we've heard just about enough from Mr. Newspaper today.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "T-shirts! Get your T-shirts! Tell them where you been by wearing a T-shirt.", "c": ["T-shirt vendor"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Just make sure he hits you an even number of times, so you don't end up with amnesia.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "If he gets killed in the ring, it'll be because of your negative attitude.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "This just in, go to hell!", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Oh, cripes! Now I gotta comb this side over.", "c": ["Fan Man"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "And now, please welcome back into decent society... ladies and gentlemen, the heavyweight champion of the world... Drederick Tatum!", "c": ["Ring announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "He's been called 'The Brick Hit-House'... and is also known as 'The Southern Dandy.' Homer Simpson!", "c": ["Ring announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Isn't Dad the one in the black trunks? No! What? What? What am I missing? What?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "What's great there is the sea bass. They do it blackened or saut\u00e9ed. It's stupendous. Okay. Break it up. Break it up, you two.", "c": ["Charlie Sheen", "Drederick Tatum", "Referee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "That cactus is right. I've got to knock him out!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Simpson's manager has flown into the ring and is airlifting him out. Ladies and gentlemen... whatever dignity remained in boxing is literally flying out the window.", "c": ["Ring announcer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Are you an angel? Yes, Homer. I'm an angel. All us angels wear Farrah slacks.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Lucius, would you do that for me? Absolutely, I would. Now get in the van.", "c": ["Drederick Tatum", "Lucius Sweet"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Now take your check for $100,000 and get out of my sight! I don't need your stinking money!", "c": ["Lucius Sweet", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "I don't need your stinking money!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "I can't remember where we parked. That's all right. We'll just wait till everyone else leaves.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "I got your tooth, Dad. Not mine.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Well, what are dreams, Madam Marge? I was able to stick up for a pal.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "Hey, you only said you were gonna take it for five minutes! Come back here!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 3, "et": "The Homer They Fall"}, {"t": "What a perfect outing for a beautiful autumn day. I feel sorry for everyone who's cooped up inside... watching the seventh game of the World Series. Yeah, they won't learn anything about apples today.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "The cider mill operated continuously until 1941... when its workers left to fight in the Second World War. When they returned, the old girl was just as they'd left her... only now she was infested with thousands upon thousands of rats.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Right. And if you listen real carefully... you can still hear them gnawing away at the apples... and splashing around in the toilets.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Well, if God didn't make little green apples, it's Homer Simpson.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "How long have you been here? - Twenty of the suckiest minutes of my life.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, sucking down the cider, huh? Hey, word to the wise- season pass. Pays for itself after the 16th visit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there, fella. If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "And of course in Canada, the whole thing's flip-flopped.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Just look at all this beautiful 'foilage.' - It's not 'foilage,' Mom. It's foliage. Foliage. - That's what I said- 'foilage.'", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "It's not 'foilage,' Mom. It's foliage. Foliage.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "It doesn't take a 'nucular' scientist to pronounce 'foilage.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Honestly, Smithers, I don't know why Harvard even bothers to show up. They barely even won. Their cheating was even more rampant than last year, sir.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Why, every friend I have, I made right here. - Hello, Burnsie. It's your old roomy, Dink.", "c": ["Burns", "Dink"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, this may take a while, Smithers. Why don't you get drunk and stumble around comically for my amusement? I'll be a one-man conga line.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "I'll be a one-man conga line.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Ah, customers. Thank God. Papa needs a new pair of everything.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "And remember your visit with a googly-eyed walnut. How about a googly-eyed rock? Some nice local squash candy?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "A stressed-out Pepsi bottle? Come on. If this stuff is too nice for you, I've got some crap.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "I can honestly say that was the most fun I've ever had.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "I can't 'exscape' Lisa, our little walking 'libary.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Can't they get a pole for that sign? - That's a hitchhiker, Homer.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Ooh, let's pick him up. - No. What if he's crazy? - And what if he's not? Then we'd look like idiots.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Man, it was rough getting a ride out there. The only car that stopped was a hearse that thought I fell out.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Careful of the apple pie on the seat. - Uh-oh. Grampa, are you sitting on the pie? - I sure hope so.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Yeah, sure, we know him. That's Mr. Burns. - He tried to kill our puppies. - He sexually harassed me. - He stole my fianc\u00e9e. - He made fun of my weight.", "c": ["Homer", "Family Members"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Okay, so there's been a little friction. Know his address?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Whoa! This guy's got more bread than a prison meat loaf.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "He's rich, I tell ya. I never seen a place with a walk-in mailbox.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Well, I hate to break it to you, Larry... but if Mr. Burns ever wants to see a stranger... he will observe him through a powerful telescope.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, and I stepped on one of your peacocks. You got a paper towel?", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "It was 1941, the- No, '39, my 25th Yale reunion.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "I took Lily to the local 'cinematorium'... where our passions were inflamed by Clark Gable's reckless use of the word 'damn.'", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Of course by then, Mimsie had her share of wrinkles... and a gray hair or two, but my adoring eyes saw past those minor imperfections... to her 21-year-old daughter, Lily.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "There, under the smiling eyes of four stuffed Eskimos... we expressed our love physically... as was the style at the time.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Well, how do you like that? I have been in a museum.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, what's to tell? I was at the orphanage till I was 18. Then I got my job at the souvenir stand. Oh, and once I saw a blimp.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "You can't just eat the orange and throw the peel away! A man's not a piece of fruit! This show was supposed to close last week! Close this show! Close it, I say.", "c": ["Theater Actor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, relax. I don't wanna work. I'm so lazy I took lessons on a player piano.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Wow! That's really lazy. Lazy, you're not kidding. Why, I'm like a rug on Valium. I'm talking lazy.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "And Larry and I have so much in common, Marge, way more than you and me. If I could be stranded on an island with anyone, it would definitely be Larry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Hey, Skipper, good to meet you. Where'd you start out, on the Merrimack? Hey, I should talk. I hope I look that good when I'm 200.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Larry, you must meet our daughter, the debutante. She came out last spring. - Whoa! Put her back in! She's not done yet.", "c": ["Society Woman", "Larry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Pull up a seat, Pop. You too, Chuckles. I mean, the food ain't great, but the portions are terrific. Hey, I'm kidding. Relax. Hey, give my regards to Mrs. Boyardee.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. He made light of my weight problem... then suggested my motto should be 'Semper Fudge.' At that point he told me to 'relax.'", "c": ["Yale Representative"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Well, frankly, test scores like Larry's would call for a very generous contribution... he spelled 'Yale' with a six.", "c": ["Yale Representative"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "And in Larry's case, we would need an international airport. Yale could use an international airport, Mr. Burns. Are you mad? I'm not made of airports! Get out!", "c": ["Yale Representative", "Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Are you mad? I'm not made of airports! Get out!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Okay, but the last guy who charged a drink to Burns turned up in a landfill. Yeah, but it was worth it.", "c": ["Bartender", "Patron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Hey, what's everybody in this burg have against my dad? He's a pussycat. I tell you, he's a doll-baby.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Ah, this is some party. If it gets any livelier, a funeral's gonna break out.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "You, food bag, do you have a son? Yes, sir, I do. And is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them? Oh, all the time. Have you ever heard of this kid Milhouse? He's a little wiener who-", "c": ["Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, all the time. Have you ever heard of this kid Milhouse? He's a little wiener who-", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Geez! Dad and I, we started out great... but now it's falling apart, like a Chinese motorcycle.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Yeah. I tell ya, I don't get no regard. No regard at all. No esteem either.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.04, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Larry, there's only one sure way to make him realize how much he loves you... and that is a phony kidnapping.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Your son has been kidnapped.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "All right, Mr. B., when the kidnappers call with the ransom demand... you tell them you'll leave the money under the big net in the park. And then down comes the net. Right, Chief?", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Hiding out? [Raspberry] Marge, you've been reading too many 'hide out' books.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "He's great at pointing out everyone's foibles. Hey! How you doing? Ooh, look at your hair. What happened? You saw yourself in a mirror?", "c": ["Bart", "Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "I just can't get the zoning permits.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Hey, that reminds me, Mom. Buckingham Palace called. They want their hat back.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Ahoy, hoy?", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Yes, I'm missing one son. Return it immediately.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Whoa! How much proof do you need? Five thousand, six thousand? I swear, that's all I've got.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Sure did, Chief. 555- Oh, geez, that's gotta be phony.", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Hey, I think I got a pai gow. [Groans] I hate pai gow! Can't we just play 'quang jong'?", "c": ["Homer", "Larry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Marge, it's not a real kidnapping. It's a simple hoax to win a father's love.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Marge, it's broad daylight, and there's cops everywhere. No excuses. Just do it.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Appearing in broad daylight with police everywhere, ladies and gentlemen... there's only one word for that- idiocy.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "D'oh! Stupid economic recovery.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "D'oh! Stupid economic recovery.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Yeah, this place is emptier than a Scottish pay toilet.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Shh. Some people are trying to watch the movie. You don't like it, call a cop.", "c": ["Movie Patron", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Now, here's how it would look if the police killed him with a barrage of baseballs.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "All your son wanted was a little attention, a little love. I'm a father myself, sir. And, sure, sometimes my kids can be obnoxious... or boring, or stinky. But they can always count on one thing- their father's unconditional love.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "Oh, that's okay. I got a wife and kids. Oh, that reminds me. They're probably wondering where I went. I told them I'm going for coffee. That was a week ago.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "It's good to know that... there's another kidney out there for me.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "You got it, Pop. Just let me run a few pints through it first.", "c": ["Larry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "It's a party, Marge. It doesn't have to make sense.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 4, "et": "Burns Baby Burns"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "[Gasps] Someone found my keys!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "It'll be okay, honey. There's lots more oil where that came from.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Arr! I'm in a lot of trouble now.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Hey, I'll give you a hundred bucks to take the blame.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "As a Golden Globe nominee, I just think it's our duty to make the real globe a little more golden.", "c": ["Celebrity"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "You can stay right here and give the dog a bath or trim the cat's nails.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "You've already used up your birthday and Christmas presents on that peach tree we got you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "[Singsong] La-la, here I am playing on my peach tree, Mom.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Cat in the furnace.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Shall we say... 10:00? All right, just wake me up.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Dad, do I have to brush my teeth? No, but at least rinse your mouth out with soda.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but all the animals have already been reserved for celebrities.", "c": ["Volunteer Coordinator"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "You mean there's nothing left to clean?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "I've got rocks that need washing at home.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Garbage angels?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Do I have to sit up? No. Knock yourself out.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Perfectly level flying is the supreme challenge of the scale-model pilot.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there are too many fat children.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "It's a secret lab where they take the brains out of zombies and put 'em in the heads of other zombies to create a race of super-zombies.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "S-U-C-C-E-E-S! That's the way you spell succe-", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Are you wearing a grocery bag? I have misplaced my pants.", "c": ["Belle", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Yeah, I appreciate the suggestion, lady, but he hates that, and I gotta live with him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "You're the man, Homer.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "She makes me taste beer. Come on, boy. Give your old man a little credit.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Lady, I gotta tell ya, I have been grossly misinformed about witches.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "I prefer not to be called 'man.' My name is Belle, and this is the Maison Derriere. That means the, uh, 'Back House.'", "c": ["Belle"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "I'll start sorting these bras. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Ah, the old greet 'n' toss. No problemo.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Does your father know you're working here? It was his idea. In that case, I'll have a whiskey sour.", "c": ["Moe", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "We're having kelp burgers, and we're going to watch a tape of Johnny Arvik. He's the Eskimo comedian.", "c": ["Volunteer Coordinator"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Nudist colonies are everywhere these days. I'd love to go, but I can't get the wrinkles out of my birthday suit.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.04, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Adam and Eve must have been the first bookkeepers. They invented the loose-leaf system.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "If there's a bad bookkeeping joke, I haven't heard it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "His dinner is getting all cold and eaten.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "I have to be up at 6:00 a.m. to swipe Flanders's newspaper.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "President Eisenhower celebrates 40th wedding anniversary. Not pictured, Mrs. Eisenhower.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "I don't care if he was filling in for Mel Zetz.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, drugs. You gotta have drugs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "This is the National Air and Space Museum, isn't it?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Uh, this isn't gonna be about Jesus, is it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "All things are about Jesus, Homer, except this.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "That's true, but I was only in there to get directions on how to get away from there.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "If Homer Simpson wants his 10-year-old son working in a burlesque house, then Homer Simpson's 10-year-old son is going to work in a burlesque house!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "No, I only learned that four days ago.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "So, in a way, you really dropped the ball on this one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "I've lived here 52 years. Sixth generation.", "c": ["Belle"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "You're about to learn the two most dangerous words in the English language are 'Marge Simpson.'", "c": ["Belle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "But this time it's not about that giant inflatable Dos Equis bottle.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "What's wrong with this house? Is it the plumbin'? No. Well, then quit bad-mouthing the house!", "c": ["Town Meeting"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm afraid this problem goes far beyond Eugene and Rusty.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Julius! Clancy! Skinner! Seymour! Mother. Patty? Cletus!", "c": ["Multiple"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "My parents insisted I give it a try, sir.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Are they talkin' about the bordello? No, the burlesque house. So just keep your mouth shut.", "c": ["Cletus", "Brandine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "No, there's no justice like angry-mob justice.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Don't you call me that. I'm an entrepreneuse.", "c": ["Belle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "We could tear it down, but we'd be tearing down a part of ourselves.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Well, I'm convinced. The house stays.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "It was a very convincing song, Marge. Mm-hmm, there were kicks and everything.", "c": ["Citizens"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot, Marge. That was our only burlesque house.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "What did you name him? Chip.", "c": ["Bart", "Twiggy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 5, "et": "Bart After Dark"}, {"t": "Marge, can't we get some clear plates? I can't see the TV!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "If you really wanted us to be neater, you'd serve us out of one long bowl. / You're talking about a trough. We're not going to eat from a trough.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Why are you in your underwear? / Hey, this ain't the Ritz.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Hello, Marge. How's the family? I don't want to talk about it! Mind your own business.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Oh, I hate having parties. The toilet always gets backed up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "I don't care if the sink shoots sludge. We're having a party.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Man, that is flagrant false advertising!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Oh, we can't afford that. Who do you think I am, Liz Taylor? / Well, maybe we could use it once and then return it.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "So I helped myself to a few of the better umbrellas.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Well, as you can see, we don't believe fur is murder... but paying for it sure is.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "She doesn't want anyone to know she's got no eyebrows. What? You don't.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten", "Luann Van Houten"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "You know, I like his films, except for that nervous fella's always in 'em.", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Should have asked them to hurl some bacon. Then maybe I could have had a decent breakfast for once.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "You know what you two need? A little comic strip called Love Is. It's about two naked eight-year-olds who are married.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "I'd tell the warden, 'Bring on the lethal injection!'", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Oh, that's a noodle-scratcher.", "c": ["Guest"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "It's good for keeping down the urges.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Do you want me to show this to the cat and have the cat tell you what it is? 'Cause the cat's gonna get it.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "We didn't all go to Gudger College.", "c": ["Luann Van Houten"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Well, it's no wonder I can't draw dignity. I gave it up when I married her.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Oh, cram it, Churchie!", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Or how about the one about how I carry a change purse? Yeah, a purse!", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "sent the number one cracker factory in town into a tie for sixth with Table Time and Allied Biscuit.", "c": ["Luann Van Houten"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "I love having to steal clothes from the church donation box.", "c": ["Luann Van Houten"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "I want a divorce!", "c": ["Luann Van Houten"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "It's a door! Use it!", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Hello, I'm Dr Hibbert. I'm afraid I'm going to have to amputate your butt.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Oh, okay. Ta-ta! I'm off to the beauty salon!", "c": ["Luann Van Houten"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Well, I think that went pretty well.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "I shouldn't have served those North Korean fortune cookies. They were so insulting- 'You are a coward.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Aren't you gonna say 'Ha-ha'?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "By the end, her breath was so fresh... she wasn't really my mother anymore.", "c": ["Bart's classmate"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "I sleep in a drawer.", "c": ["Child"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Forget it! She's gone! Presto change-o! Kaboom! Sweet Fanny Adams! Bye-bye!", "c": ["Luann Van Houten"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "I sleep in a racing car. Do you? / I sleep in a big bed with my wife.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Uh, I sleep in a racing car. Do you? I sleep in a big bed with my wife.", "c": ["Kirk", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Ah, just throw it over the fence. Let Arby's worry about it.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers. We don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.", "c": ["Boss"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "I don't recall saying 'good luck.'", "c": ["Boss"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Hey, I know you from American Gladiators. You're Pyro!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Only on weekends. During the week, I'm just your average workaday stuntman.", "c": ["Chase"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Gee! Sorry! It's a pretty standard stunt, Homer.", "c": ["Chase"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Gee! Sorry! It's a pretty standard stunt, Homer.", "c": ["Chase"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "That doesn't sound like something I'd say.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Can I have the keys to the car, lover? I feel like changing wigs.", "c": ["Starla"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Can I Borrow a Feeling?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "One day your wife is making you your favorite meal, the next day, you're thawing a hot dog in a gas station sink.", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "the next day, you're thawing a hot dog in a gas station sink.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "a strong marriage built on a solid foundation of routine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "They're thawing in the sink.", "c": ["Marge (in note)"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "You mean, like your poker shack out in the swamp?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Levis. Hey, you think that truck is full of jeans?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Levis. Hey, you think that truck is full of jeans?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Arr, Matey!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Homer, what are you doing? I wanted to surprise you with a kicky summer do.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "None! They'd have more sense than that!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "These things happen. Eight dollars.", "c": ["Court Clerk"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "I didn't want a hokey second wedding like those ones on TV. This one is for real. I got us a divorce this afternoon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "I didn't want a hokey second wedding like those ones on TV. This one is for real. I got us a divorce this afternoon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Wait! I want one last chance to enjoy single life. [Belches] Okay, ready.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "in impotence and in potence", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "'Do you, Marge, take Homer in richness and in poorness-' 'Poorness' is underlined", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "jet-powered, monkey navigated-", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Okay, everybody, who likes The Doobie Brothers? 'Cause we got one of them.", "c": ["Band leader"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "How about it, Luann? Will you marry me... again? - Ooh, no!", "c": ["Kirk", "Luann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Ooh, no! / Oh. Well, uh, can I have my shirts back at least?", "c": ["Luann Van Houten", "Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 6, "et": "A Milhouse Divided"}, {"t": "Nothing. I just bought myself a car.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "This will sound crazy, but at first... I thought I'd enraged you again.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "I used to think a car was just a way of getting... from point 'A' to point 'B'- and on weekends point 'C.'", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "I've always admired car owners. And I hope to be one myself as soon as I finish paying off Mother.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "She insists I pay her retroactively for the food I ate as a child.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Holy jumping Caesar's catfish!", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "My 'H' has been stolen! Oh! That's how people know it's a Honda!", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "What's the point of having a Honda if you can't show it off?", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "You've clearly taken items from the candy rack and placed them... on top of the doughnut in an attempt to pass them off as sprinkles.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "A Mounds bar is not a sprinkle. A Twizzler is not a sprinkle. A Jolly Rancher is not a sprinkle, sir.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Perhaps in Shangri-la they are, but not here.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Frankly, I would have expected better from Jimmy the Scumbag.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Bread and water, icy showers, guards whomping your ass around the clock. And the only way out is suicide.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Well, I'll tell you something that's not so funny. Right now Superintendent Chalmers... is at home crying like a little girl.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "[Chuckles] I guess it is a little funny.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Balderdash. I'll just stick my head right in and- [Shouts]", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Half a dozen eggs? [Grunts] Well, that would be the complete dozen.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Ha-ha!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Damn! Dang! Darn!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "I don't know, but he's got lethal tuna breath.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "[In Scottish Accent] Ahh, gee. I'm standing right here, sir.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Bite me. Cram it. You're dead. Get bent, ma'am.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Don't you realize your butt sticks out? - It does not! - Hey! - Ha-ha!", "c": ["Nelson", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "[Homer's Voice] Greetings, friend. Do you wish to look as happy as me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Hmm. One dollar for eternal happiness. Mmm, I'd be happier with the dollar.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "It's nothing but panhandling. Tele-panhandling.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "The moose? - The hoose! The hoose! - Is this right? - [Screams] Turn off the noozle! - The noodles? What noodles? - The noozle at the end of the hoose!", "c": ["Nelson", "Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Miss Simpson... do you find something funny about the word 'tromboner'?", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "She was looking at Nelson! Lisa likes Nelson! - She does not! - Milhouse likes Lisa! - He does not! - Janie likes Milhouse! - She does not! - Uter likes Milhouse! - Nobody likes Milhouse!", "c": ["Various Students", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Oh. How does Bart do this every week?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Sure is ugly though.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Hey, Willie, catch the football! - [Bees Buzzing] - All right, I'll- [Screams]", "c": ["Student", "Willie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "I guess you could say I want to bring out the Milhouse in Nelson.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "But I'm all Milhouse!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "You're more like a big sister. - No, I'm not! Why does everybody keep saying that?", "c": ["Lisa", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "You? Why would you like me? No girls like me!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Okay. But if anybody sees us, I'm just there to steal your bike.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Mmm, a little.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "You don't understand. She loves to climb in here. - [Shrieks] - I believe you! I don't care!", "c": ["Lisa", "Cat", "Nelson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Are you nuts? I'll probably never say this to you again, but you can do better.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Milhouse likes Vaseline on toast.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Why, it's the AT-5000 Auto-Dialer, my very first patent.", "c": ["Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Ah, would you listen to the gibberish they've got you saying?", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "'Nuke The Whales'? You don't really believe that, do you? - I don't know. Gotta nuke something.", "c": ["Lisa", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Touch\u00e9.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "I wish I could laugh at the idea of a teacher being decapitated.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Guts. And black stuff. And about 50 Slim Jims.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "This ought to shut her up.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "You kissed a girl! - That is so gay!", "c": ["Nelson's Friends"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "He's changed, and he doesn't want to hang around with a bunch of crumb-bums.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Crumb-bums? Nobody calls me a crumb-bum!", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "You're broadcasting geek rays over the entire valley.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Charlatan!", "c": ["Nelson's Friend"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "'Cause your mom had a three-month waiting list.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Oh, brandishing your buttocks is only getting me angrier.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Thanks for helping me out. You're a stand-up babe.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Mmm-mmm. Maybe 'cause you were the first person... that ever thought there was a nice guy inside me.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Let's just call it 'smell you later.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Yes!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "If you can find it in your heart to forgive me... send one dollar to Sorry Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 7, "et": "Lisas Date With Density"}, {"t": "Yes, but the records only go back to 1978... when the hall of records was mysteriously blown away.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "What is it, boy? Fire? Earthquake? Hippies?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "And if you think naming a destructive storm after a woman is sexist... you obviously have never seen the gals grabbing for items at a clearance sale.", "c": ["TV Weatherman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "That's true, but he shouldn't say it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Let's just beat him up and take his stuff! / No, no, no! Do not listen to that man. Remain calm. You will all have a chance to be gouged.", "c": ["Crowd member", "Store clerk"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Oh, there's so little left. 'Creamed Eels'? 'Corn Nog'? 'Wadded Beef.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "But I'm not fruit! I'm a kid! / That's what the pumpkin said.", "c": ["Bart", "Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Hi, Lisa. We're going to be in a pie!", "c": ["Pumpkins"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "I ain't leaving! I was born in this nursing home... and I'll die in this nursing home! / Is there any chance of you changing your mind? / Sure. Let's go.", "c": ["Old Man", "Emergency Worker", "Old Man"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Oh, it'll be fun. We're gonna go through our old canceled checks... and receipts and give ourselves an audit. Make sure we don't owe anything extra.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "I'm sure I'd be a third wheel. / I would make it my business to be a third wheel.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "If baby Jesus got loose, he could really do some damage.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Awesome! So long, suckers!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Spin the middle side topwise. Topwise! / My main finger?", "c": ["Homer", "Family"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Spin the middle side topwise. Topwise!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Now I remember why I put this down here in the first place!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "I don't remember a bowling alley being there- [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "He fell for it! Way to go, Marge!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "It just goes to show you that everything will work out if you have faith.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "It's all gone. Everything... gone-diddilly-on.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "I thought I was headed for the eternal bliss of paradise. / Oh, my gosh! Look at Rod! / I have a headache!", "c": ["Maude", "Maude", "Rod"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Oh, well, no. Neddy doesn't believe in insurance. He considers it a form of gambling.", "c": ["Maude"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "The only thing that survived the storm were the family tombstones. They're all we have left.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Look, Daddy. Todd is stupid, and I'm with him. / And now Mommy's stupid! [Laughs] Looking good, Rod. Looking good.", "c": ["Rod", "Rod", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Surprisingly, people are grabbing things with both hands... suggesting it's not just southpaws in this rampaging mob.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Springfield bowlers will be happy to hear that the Bowlarama is back in business at its new location... teetering over the Carter Dixon Tunnel.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Also, I believe Job was right-handed.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Short answer- yes, with an 'if.' Long answer- no, with a 'but.'", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "I've got a copy of something or other by Art Linkletter in my office.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Son of a gun-diddilly-un! Those gilded edges smart.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "I've even kept kosher just to be on the safe side.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "I want to yell out, but I just can't... dang-diddily-do-dang, do-dang-diddily-darn do it!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Oh, what happened now? Did the rubble burn down?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "And a cement mixer full of hope and some cement.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "No, no, not me, friends. He's talking about himself. But thanks for looking!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Eh, one out of 25 ain't bad.", "c": ["Construction worker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Ned, you ever try lugging a toilet up a flight of stairs?", "c": ["Construction worker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "But I don't like this clown. / I wouldn't take it down if I were you. It's a load-bearing poster.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Now, this is a room with electricity... but it has too much electricity. So I don't know. You might want to wear a hat.", "c": ["Construction worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Yeah. We ran out of floorboards there, so we painted the dirt. Pretty clever!", "c": ["Construction worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Now, calm down, Neddilly-diddilly-diddilly-diddilly-diddilly. They did their best. Shodilly-idilly-iddilly-diddilly.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Aw, hell! Diddily-ding-dong crap! Can't you morons do anything right?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "I wouldn't want you to have a cow, man! / Here's a catchphrase you better learn for your adult years: 'Hey, buddy, got a quarter?'", "c": ["Bart", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa Simpson... Springfield's answer to a question no one asked!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "The last case you got to the bottom of was a case of Mallomars!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Mallomars. Oh, that's going in the act.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "The only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "And as for you, I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a jerk! / Hey, I've only been here a few minutes. What's going on?", "c": ["Ned", "Random guy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Hey- Hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I've, um- What was the third thing you said?", "c": ["Random guy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met. / Hey, I got off pretty easy.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Shall I show you to your room, or would you prefer... to be dragged off kicking and screaming? / Ooh, kicking and screaming, please.", "c": ["Mental hospital clerk", "Ned"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "In the den? May God have mercy on us all.", "c": ["Dr. Foster"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm a little chilly. Can I have another straitjacket?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "That's discipline. That's like telling Gene Krupa not to go- [Imitating Drums]", "c": ["Ned's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "You don't believe in rules, yet you want to control Ned's anger. / Yeah. You've gotta help us, Doc. We've tried nothing, and we're all out of ideas.", "c": ["Dr. Foster", "Ned's father"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Try to guess which one. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.", "c": ["Dr. Foster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. / Now, that's psychiatry! Huh? Huh?", "c": ["Homer reading", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "You call him a moron, and he just sits there grinning moronally.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "What about mosquito bites? / Mm-mmm. Sure are fun to scratch. Mmm, satisfying.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "Ooh, they hum like angels. You're never lonely if you got a fluorescent light.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "That and my parents. Lousy beatniks.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "And if you really tick me off, I'm gonna run you down with my car.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 8, "et": "Hurricane Neddy"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Oh, why do they have to put all this crud in my newspaper?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "'World.' 'The Arts.' 'Religion.' Aha. Here it is. 'Kickin' Back!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Not me. I'm more of a mail tamperer.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "gussy up these curtains. [Groans]", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's a lazy, dog-dangling afternoon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Well, I just felt like filling the house with the rich, satisfying smell of tobacco.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "[Whistles] You're nuts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Every time you go to that cook-off, you get drunk as a poet on payday.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Look at me. I'm a puffy pink cloud!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Oh, well, of course everything looks bad if you remember it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Geez. Why don't you have a cigarette or somethin'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go claim some valuables at the lost and found.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Eight spices. Oh, some must be doubles.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "'Oregano'? What the hell?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Less artsy, more fartsy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Fine. I'll come find you when I'm ready to stop having fun.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Stupor pooper.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Oh. I think it's lovely that he said that- and that you believed him.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Now, Helen, let us not glory in Homer's binge drinking. There but for the grace of God goes Marge herself.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Ooh, man. He's here. The dude with the fireproof stomach.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "They say he carved it himself from a bigger spoon.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Oh, I admit it. It's only two alarm. Two and a half tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.", "c": ["Chili vendor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Daddy, are you going to jail? We'll see, Son. We'll see.", "c": ["Man", "Child"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Ma'am, I wouldn't honk the honk if I couldn't tonk the tonk.", "c": ["Country dancer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Hmm. A bland, timid entry... suitable perhaps for patients recovering from surgery.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "That Simpson. He thinks he's the pope of chili town.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "The merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango!", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Grown deep in the jungle primeval... by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Uh, Wiggie, my chili's gettin' cold.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "[Garbled] Oh, my God! It's burning up! Beer! Beer! Give me some beer!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Oh, lousy Wiggum. Now the whole town thinks I'm a chili wuss.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "You don't want to get wax in your mouth, do you? Maybe I do, son. Maybe I do.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "'Oh, this porridge is too hot. Oh, wah, wah, wah!'", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "His ears if we're lucky!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Well, Chief, don't quit your day job. [Chuckles] Whatever that is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "What can I do-diddly, do-diddly, doodily, diddly, doodily... hoppity, hippity, hoppity, hippity, gooble, gobble, gooble, gooble, gabba, gabba, hey?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Goo-goo-ga-joob? Ha-ha! Ha-ha!", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Let him go, Ralph. He knows what he's doing.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Man, this is crazy. I hope I didn't brain my damage.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Note to self: Stop doing anything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Homer made a total jackass of himself.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "But someone had to tell her. And I got here first.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "I guess I know what a promise from Homer J. Simpson is worth.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Hey, buddy! Get back there with the other rocks.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "When I'm kicking you, that means hurry up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "This is 'cause I kicked you, isn't it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "You're just mad 'cause there's no clock in your hat.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "What hat? [Scoffs] Ah, this baby's wasted on an idiot like you.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Oh, now what? If you're still mad at me, I'm gonna be really mad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Come on, Marge. Will you- Fight fair! I never do this to you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "The problem, Homer, is that the mind is always chattering away... with a thousand thoughts at once. Yeah. That's me all right.", "c": ["Space Coyote", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Are you kiddin'? [Chuckles] If anything, you should get more possessions. You don't even have a computer.", "c": ["Space Coyote"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Sorry. [Chuckles] I am a coyote.", "c": ["Space Coyote"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Look. Just give me some inner peace, or I'll mop the floor with ya!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Great spiritual quest, wolfie! My soul mate is Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "A ghost train! And so little time to get out of the way. Now less. Now none!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Did I dream that whole thing? Maybe the desert was just this sand trap. Oh, and I bet that crazy pyramid was just the pro shop.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "And that talkin' coyote was really just a talkin' dog. Hi, Homer. Find your soul mate.", "c": ["Homer", "Dog"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Hey. Wait a minute! There's no such thing as a talkin' dog. [Barks] Damn straight.", "c": ["Homer", "Dog"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Oh, honey. I didn't get drunk. I just went to a strange fantasy world.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Don't soul mate me!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Look at these records. Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, the Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records. They stink!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "This really goes beyond my training as a furniture salesman, sir.", "c": ["Furniture salesman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Okay. But I'm not your soul mate. I'm really more of a chum.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "I'm a well-wisher... in that I don't wish you any specific harm.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "This is just your memory. I can't give you any new information.", "c": ["Space Coyote"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "A machine? Earl's a machine? Oh, that's just perfect! Homer's desperate search for a soul mate... has yielded a lighthouse-keepin' robot!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Either that, or Batman's really let himself go.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Alone! I'm alone! I'm a lonely, insignificant speck... on a has-been planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Uh, would that be the hot pants, sir? Aye. The hot pants.", "c": ["Ship crew member", "Captain"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "And then I saw the lighthouse... and I remembered how you love blinking lights... like the one on the waffle iron. Or that little guy on the Don't Walk sign.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "See, I thought we weren't soul mates because- We had a fight? Right. And we don't like the same things. It's like you're from Venus- And you're from Mars.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. Give me the one with all the monsters.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Our differences are only skin deep. But our 'sames' go right down to the bone.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "In your face, space coyote!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Jonathan Livingston Seagull! We're on a collision course!", "c": ["Ship captain"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 9, "et": "El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer The"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no.", "c": ["Leonard Nimoy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city... keeping its speed over 50. And if its speed dropped, it would explode. I think it was called The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Homer sets up VCR loop to fake working at the power plant", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Something gay, no doubt? - What? What? You know, lighthearted, fancy-free. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Smithers is on the town.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Thank God it's Wednesday! - It's Friday. - Uh-oh. Wrong pills.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Sorry, Donkey Kong. You are just not a draw anymore. - Hey, he's still got it!", "c": ["Arcade Worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Game over. Please deposit 40 quarters. - What a rip!", "c": ["Arcade Machine", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Friday's just another day between NBC's Must-See Thursday and CBS's Saturday night crap-o-rama.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "D\u00fcff, from Sweden. - Wait a minute! This is Duff! - Ya got me, didn't ya?", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Bold, refreshing... and something I can't quite put my finger on. [Dogs Barking] Hmm. Needs more dog.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Uh, I guess I'll walk home.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Oh, Son, I'm glad to see ya! I went for the morning paper and I got lost! - No time for you, old man.", "c": ["Grandpa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Have you been drinking? - No! Well, 10 beers.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "When I came to, I was covered with a sticky translucent goo. - More sausage?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "According to Junior Skeptic Magazine, the chances are a 175 million-to-one... So? It's just the people who claim they've seen aliens are always pathetic lowlifes with boring jobs. Oh. And you, Dad.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "I am the thing from Uranus! - Oh, it's Bart. I can't believe it. I'm being mocked by my own children on my birthday.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "It's your birthday? - Yes. Remember, it's the same day as the dog's.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Santa's Little Helper, it's your birthday? Oh. We gotta get you a present. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. We love you, boy. Good doggy. Good doggy. - Lousy lovable dog.", "c": ["Family", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Oh, it was awful. They set me on a cold, metal table and prodded me with humiliating probes. And then- Oh, wait. That was my physical.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice, like Urkel. And he appears every Friday night... like Urkel!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Well, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass- I mean, Simpson. So, I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter.", "c": ["Police Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "I just torched a building downtown and I'm afraid I'll do it again! - Yeah, right. I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter.", "c": ["Arsonist", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "There's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight. - I hardly think the F.B.I.'s concerned with matters like that.", "c": ["Scully", "Mulder"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Is this about that pen that I took from the post office? I swear, I didn't know I put it in my purse! Then I was going to bring it back, but the dog chewed it up. And that just made things worse.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "[Electrical shock sounds] Ow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.04, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "What's the point of this test? - No point. I just thought he could stand to lose a little weight. His jiggling is almost hypnotic. - Yes. It's like a lava lamp.", "c": ["Mulder", "Scully"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Well, the evening began at the gentlemen's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon. - Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I. - We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. You happy?", "c": ["Homer", "Agent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "You are one fine lookin' woman, lady. If I wasn't married, I'd go out with you like that!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "I am so sorry. Whatever you do, don't tell Marge. God, I love her!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "All right, they're on to us! Get him back to Sea World!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "So I says, blue M&M, red M&M- they all wind up the same color in the end.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "For the love of God, help me! I've been here for four days and a turtle's got ahold of my teeth!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Ow! He bit me with my own teeth! - This is the worst assignment we've ever had. - Worse than the time we were attacked by the flesh-eating virus?", "c": ["Grampa", "Mulder", "Scully"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "But somewhere out there, something is watching us. There are alien forces acting in ways we can't perceive. Are we alone in the universe? Impossible when you consider the wonders that exist all around us. Voodoo priests of Haiti, the Tibetan numerologists of Appalachia, the unsolved mysteries of Unsolved Mysteries.", "c": ["Mulder"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Who'd have thought a whale could be so heavy? - Geez, it's the feds!", "c": ["Sea World workers"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "I don't believe you, Homer. - You do? Oh, Marge! You've made me so happy. - You're not listening. You're only hearing what you want to hear. - Thanks! I'd love an omelet right about now.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "I'm like the man who single-handedly built the rocket and went to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Unless you're feeling amorous. [Growls] - No, I'm not. - Well, then, good night.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Thank you, Son. Now, do you think you could stop the casual swearing? - Hell, yes!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "What if we don't? - We'll fake it and sell it to the Fox network. They'll buy anything. - Now, Son, they do a lot of quality programming too. [Pause] I kill me.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Now, Son, they do a lot of quality programming too. [Pause] I kill me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Bud. - Weis. - Er. [Pause] Coors.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "And that is how much college will cost for Maggie. [Screaming] No! No! No!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "[High-pitched] I bring you peace.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Uh, Mr. Nimoy, we have 10 minutes left. - Oh. Fine. Well, let me just get... uh, something out of my car. [Footsteps] [Door] [Car driving away] I don't think he's coming back.", "c": ["Producer", "Leonard Nimoy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show? - No. She won an Oscar, and he's a congressman. - Good night!", "c": ["Coma patient", "Doctor"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Local man, Homer Simpson, shown here with his tongue stuck to a lamppost, has given us this videotape.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "It's a close encounter of the blurred kind.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "The entire Channel 6 news team will be there except for Phil, the boom mike operator, who's getting fired tomorrow. [Groans] Very unprofessional, Phil.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Phil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Is the alien carbon-based or silicon-based? - Uh, the second one. 'Zilliphone.'", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Is the alien Santa Claus? - Uh, yes.", "c": ["Ralph", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens. He came in peace, and then died... only to come back to life. And his name was... E.T., the extraterrestrial. [Sniffles] I love that little guy.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "Hey, Spock! What do you want on your hot dog? - Surprise me.", "c": ["Vendor", "Leonard Nimoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "You don't see any 'Homer Is A Dope' T-shirts, do you? - We sold those out in five minutes.", "c": ["Homer", "Vendor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "These shirts are 100% cotton. And look at the fine stitching on 'Dope.' - I'll take two.", "c": ["Marge", "Customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "I bring you love. - Is that the love between a man and a woman or the love of a man for a fine Cuban cigar?", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "It's bringing love! Don't let it get away! - Break its legs!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "It's not a monster. It's Mr. Burns. - Oh, it's Mr. Burns. Kill it! Kill it!", "c": ["Smithers", "Crowd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "A lifetime of working in a nuclear power plant has given me a healthy green glow... and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "And now that I'm back to normal, I don't bring you peace and love. I bring you fear, famine, pestilence and- Time for a booster.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "And so concludes our tale. I'm Leonard Nimoy. Good night, and keep watching the skis! Uh, skies.", "c": ["Leonard Nimoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 10, "et": "The Springfield Files"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "our shares in Dynaflux Unimatics... are up a delicious seven and three-quarters", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Children are so fat today. Isn't there some way we can make money off that?", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Tsk. Oh, Marge. You are such a wet blanket.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "If we'd listened to you, we wouldn't have sponsored that Mexican wrestler.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, Marge. You're about as popular as rug burn. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "You'll get your pancakes in the mail.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "When are the pancakes coming in the mail?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh! Call work and tell 'em I won't be in tomorrow. Ow!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Greetings, humans. I am Investo the Robot of the planet Opportuniac.", "c": ["Investo Robot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "We're trying to, but you're blocking our way. Danger! Danger! Don't forget to pick up pamphlets.", "c": ["Marge", "Investo Robot"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "I'll handle this. [Sizzling, Clunking, Beeping] Help, help, help. Security code 30.", "c": ["Homer", "Investo Robot"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "And while you're there, would you pick up some of that nice green moon money for me- No deal, McCutcheon. That moon money is mine!", "c": ["Franchise Salesman", "Royce McCutcheon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "scientists say 40% of America's pictures are hanging crooked", "c": ["Frame Nudging Salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Those fat cats in Washington? [Laughs] Good luck.", "c": ["Frame Nudging Salesman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "including, 'Who are you?' and 'What are you doing here?'", "c": ["Frame Nudging Salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, my name is Agnes, and you know it's Agnes! It means lamb. Lamb of God.", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "If these trends continue- 'Ey!", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Yeah, I know. I can't get them out of there.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, I don't know about food from the Middle East. Isn't that whole area a little iffy? [Laughs] Hey, I'm no geographer.", "c": ["Franchise Salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "You and I, why don't we call it pocket bread? Huh?", "c": ["Franchise Salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "- Uh, what's tahini? - Flavor sauce. - And falafel? - Crunch patties.", "c": ["Marge", "Franchise Salesman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Here. Try a Ben Franklin.", "c": ["Franchise Salesman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Tabouleh and rezmi-kabob. Uh, that's our chef, Christopher.", "c": ["Franchise Salesman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Then God tossed me a life preserver- a tasty, golden-brown life preserver.", "c": ["Frank Ormand"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "'Knot' bread. You get it? Huh?", "c": ["Frank Ormand"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Edna! Bart!", "c": ["Maude"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Wherever a young mother is ignorant of what to feed her baby... you'll be there.", "c": ["Frank Ormand"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Wherever nacho penetration is less than total, you'll be there.", "c": ["Frank Ormand"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Wherever a Bavarian is not quite full, you will be there.", "c": ["Frank Ormand"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Don't forget fat people. They can't stop eating.", "c": ["Frank Ormand"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "And not the kind that attacked my intestinal lining some years back.", "c": ["Frank Ormand"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "An automatic garage door opener makes you feel like... you're working in a futuristic wonder world.", "c": ["Frank Ormand"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "A phony ticker-tape parade will help you avoid littering laws.", "c": ["Frank Ormand"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Check for millipedes. [Groans]", "c": ["Frank Ormand", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Why, it's one of those pretzel wagons the movie stars are always talking about.", "c": ["Worker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Uh, let's see. I'll have one, uh- [Mutters] Hey, hurry up. I wanna get my pretzel.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Wow! Check out that van. It looks like it doesn't even need our business!", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Gimbel's is gone, Marge. Long gone. You're Gimbel's.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, I don't think so. I got me 300 coupons.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Shoulda but didna, so hand 'em over.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Come on. Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dillon... Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany... Wesley, Rumor, Scout, Cassidy... Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter... Kendall, Caitlan, Noah, Sasha... Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren... Q-Bert, Phil. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "'Copyright 1968'? Hmm. Determined or not, that cat must be long dead. That's kind of a downer.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Montgomery Burns. - [Crowd Boos] - Yea! Yea!", "c": ["Announcer", "Crowd", "Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "And here come the pretzels. Oh, no! Oh, don't do that! You're supposed to be tasting them!", "c": ["Announcer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Hall of Famer Whitey Ford now on the field... pleading with the crowd for- for some kind of sanity. Uh-oh. And a barrage of pretzels... now knocking Whitey unconscious. Wow. This is a-This is a black day for baseball.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "You could call them 'Whitey Whackers.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Listen to your mother, kids. Aim low. Aim so low, no one will even care if you succeed.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Dinner's in the oven. You want some butter, it's under my face.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Marge needs help. And God knows I'm not the man to provide it. But I know who can.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "They were in the same car.", "c": ["Funeral Director"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "See, boss? I told ya that ad in the church bulletin would pay off.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "I believe it was a 'boaking' accident.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Look, lady, if I was you... I would just leap into the air... as I'm preparing to do.", "c": ["Dock Worker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, wait a minute. This is real money.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "You mean the mob only did me a favor to get something in return? Oh, Fat Tony! I will say good day to you, sir.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh. You have to push in as you turn. - Ah. - Yeah, that's it.", "c": ["Marge", "Mobster"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "And to show you we're serious, you have 12 hours.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "In those words? Yes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "I saw you desperately trying to cram one more salty treat... into America's already-bloated snack hole.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "I reached out to some violent mobsters.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "I had that dream again!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "'Where's the money? When are you going to get the money? Why aren't you getting the money now?' And so on. So, please, da money.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Where's the money? When are you going to get the money? Why aren't you getting the money now?", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "TheJapanese Mafia? They'll kill ya five times before ya hit the ground.", "c": ["Helen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "But, Marge, that little guy hasn't done anything yet. Look at him. He's gonna do something... and you know it's gonna be good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't hate you for failing. I love you for trying.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, it's just a mob war. Go back to sleep, honey.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 11, "et": "The Twisted World Of Marge Simpson"}, {"t": "No. The promise of a new day is more than enough exhilaration for me.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Chinese checkers or domestic, sir?", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "All right. Popcorn's ready.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "This stopwatch only goes up to 15 minutes.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "I think I won, Mr. Burns.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "I've seen more orderly behavior in a Ritz Brothers film.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Hit him, Carl! You too, Lenny!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "which means we'll have to cancel our plans to hang around here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Think about it. I mean, what team was Babe Ruth on? Who knows?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.", "c": ["Unknown worker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Budget cutbacks have forced us to eliminate anything the least bit entertaining.", "c": ["Park Ranger"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Uh, I lost my map. You haven't been issued a map yet.", "c": ["Homer", "Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Hey, this sounds like fun. And the last team to arrive will be fired. [Chuckles] Uh-oh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Not bloody likely.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Aw, nuts! I mean, um- Aw, nuts!", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Quiet, you fool! You're on the one team that can't possibly be fired.", "c": ["Homer (thinking)"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Yes. Well, frankly, you've been a bit of a pill lately.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Perfect. That's just perfect!", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "You pressed 'You,' referring to me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is you.", "c": ["Smokey Bear machine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Mom, can Lisa and I play outside away from the bear?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Bony old behind! Bony old behind! Why, thank you, Simpson. I have been watching my figure.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Lise! Lise! Come here! I found two snowflakes that are exactly alike!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Oh, great. It's the Bobbsey Twins.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "12:80. No, wait. Wait. What comes after 12? One. No. After 12.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Why should the race always be to the swift? Or the Jumble to the quick-witted?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Well, I say cheating is a gift man gives himself.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "I propose we travel by... horseless sleigh.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "You know, Simpson, you're not as objectionable as you seemed when we first met. No, sir, I am not.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Follow me. We'll take the chairlift. It'll give us an eagle-eye view of the area directly beneath the chairlift.", "c": ["Park Ranger"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Well, I won't lie to you, ma'am. Our chances of finding your children are slim to nil.", "c": ["Park Ranger"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "There they are! Let me down here. Sorry. There's no way off till we get to the top.", "c": ["Marge", "Ranger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Um, do you know how to weld?", "c": ["Park Ranger"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "No going through the window for us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "There isn't any food in any of these trees.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm not gonna get fired. Is there any gold in this mountain?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Mr. Smithers! Mr Smithers! I found another hurt shrew. I think this one has a twisted ankle.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Way richer than Lenny.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, sitting. The great leveler. From the mightiest pharaoh to the lowliest peasant... who doesn't enjoy a good sit?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Why get up? Here's a little move I've been tinkering with.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Sir, I am in your debt.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Sir, I am in your debt. / Use it wisely, my friend.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Hey, did you hear something? No. Hmm. Did I? I don't know!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Like, maybe the cabin is the place inside each of us... created by our goodwill and teamwork. Nah. They said there'd be sandwiches.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "I'm not quite the tunnel-digger I made myself out to be.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Burns and Associate. No, no! What am I thinking? Burns and Teammate.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Those last three avalanches were your fault, Simpson. So what? Sew buttons!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "[Gasps] A Bazooka Joe comic. [Groans] I heard that one 75 years ago.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "We could build real men out of snow.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "That moose is on fire! Fine. Good. I don't care anymore.", "c": ["Bart", "Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "206 bones... 50 miles of small intestine, full, pouting lips. Why, this fellow is less a snowman than a god!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Look at them, smug and secure in their finery... mocking us.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "They're just snowmen, Mr. Burns. Ah, snowmen have peepers. Peepers to watch- to watch for a moment of weakness.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Well, I was just happy to see so many nice people.", "c": ["Drunk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Well, I'll tell you one thing. They didn't come here... for the Mountain Music Festival, March 14-18.", "c": ["Drunk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "But not in the good Las Vegas way.", "c": ["Homer (thinking)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Stand back! I have powers! Uh, political powers!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Okay, search party, before we set out... let's take a moment to humor the children. Kids, your father's gonna be just fine.", "c": ["Search leader"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Okay, search party, before we set out... let's take a moment to humor the children. Kids, your father's gonna be just fine. / Okay, everybody, put on your corpse-handling gloves.", "c": ["Search Leader", "Search Leader"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "We've got two frozen bodies buried somewhere in this mountain.", "c": ["Search leader"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Oh, Lord, protect this rocket house and all who dwell within the rocket house.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "You're fired, Lenny.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "You're fired, Lenny. / Aw, nuts!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Lenny"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Excellent. In that case, no one will be fired after all.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "That old goat can't fire me. I'm gonna give him a piece of my- [Gets hit by falling snow]", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "Well, Simpson, I must say... once you've been through something like that with a person... you never want to see that person again. You said it, ya weirdo!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 12, "et": "Mountain Of Madness"}, {"t": "\"K.K.K.\"? That's not good. [Nervous Laugh]", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Here's a dog that's been trained to catch this red rubber ball. [Yells] Oh! Somebody shoot it. Somebody shoot it.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "These specials get worse every year.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Hello? Hello? Stupid cordless phone. I'll try the old-fashioned model.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Mad About Shoe", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.12, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "You're not gonna like our 'NYPD Shoe' sketch. It's pretty much the same thing.", "c": ["TV Performer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "No, that's okay. I'll just go without liquid. [Gagging]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Homer immediately asks for beer after Marge caves to Bart", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Um, there's a hair in my soup- but I'll just eat around it.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Well, all the good presidents turned us down.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Oh! Uh, how's your wife Nancy? - Betty. - Who cares?", "c": ["Krusty", "Gerald Ford"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "I was just watching women's volleyball on ESPN.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "There's no need for that 'baba-ma-bushka.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Homer calls Marge's babushka 'baba-ma-bushka'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Oh, there's no way I could- [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "I'll teach you to comb it over so no one can tell- Just like my hair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "This thing has me buffaloed. [Laughs]", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "And I'll take up smoking, and give that up.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. Have a dollar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "But he didn't do anything. Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Well, Homer's out. We gotta find a new General Ambrose Burnside.", "c": ["Civil War Reenactor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "The South shall come again.", "c": ["Stonewall Jackson Reenactor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "I saw Mrs. Doubtfire. This is a man in drag! You're a phony! Fakey, phony, fraud!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "I'll keep a watchful eye on your kids... and if they get out of line- Pow!", "c": ["Male Nanny Applicant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "I like him.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Hey, where do you keep the liquor? I hide a bottle of schnapps in the baby's crib.", "c": ["Male Nanny", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "You're telling me, you blue-haired witch.", "c": ["Male Nanny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Just cuttin' through the treacle.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Did you say Mary Pop- No. I definitely did not.", "c": ["Marge", "Shary Bobbins"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "I'm an original creation, like Ricky Rouse and Monald Muck.", "c": ["Shary Bobbins"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Put me down for one of each.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "No, I'm practically perfect in every way. Well, so am I. [Belches]", "c": ["Shary Bobbins", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Come on. Isn't he the guy I bowl with? The black guy. That's Carl.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "I make you read every article in that magazine... including Norman Mailer's latest claptrap about his waning libido.", "c": ["Shary Bobbins"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Her butt waxed the bannister. Ooh! I can see myself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Boy for sale. Boy for sale. Is this legal, man? Only here and in Mississippi.", "c": ["Man", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Balderdash. This is the silliest load of- Oh! Look at it fly! [Giggling] Look at me, Smithers. I feel practically super-duper, fragically-", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "What's this strange sensation in my chest? I think your heart's beating again.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "It's so full and thick it can support a beach umbrella.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Oh! Ooh- No, no. Leave it in.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "I've been singing you songs all day. I'm not a bloody jukebox.", "c": ["Shary Bobbins"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "The secret ingredient is blood.", "c": ["Shary Bobbins"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Simpsons immediately revert: Bart attacking Lisa with snarling", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "I think we got our umbrellas switched! Whee! I never felt so alive!", "c": ["Shary Bobbins"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "[Austrian Rainier Wolfcastle commercial in German]", "c": ["Young Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "You'll find it's even more fun if you get it for me.", "c": ["Shary Bobbins"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Lady, the man asked for a beer, not a song.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Where's Otis? He's not in his cell. I shot him. Well, that's a-What? Now I'm goin' down to Emmett's fix-it shop- to fix Emmett.", "c": ["Charles Bronson as Andy Taylor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.34, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "I got a better game. It's called whippin' cupcakes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "What I'm trying to say in this cartoon... is that violence is everywhere in our society- You know, it's, like, even in breakfast cereals, man.", "c": ["Quentin Tarantino"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "Been there, done it.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "So you like it this way? Indubitably.", "c": ["Shary Bobbins", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "So long, Superman.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 13, "et": "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala Annoyed Gr"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "I hope you enjoyed my one-man pie fight, kids.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Now it's time for another 'fanschmabulous' episode", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "But how can we watch TV when it's so beautiful out?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, Mom. I mean, we love you and Dad too... but God knows we don't need to see you every day.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "An occasional hug is all I ask. / Mom! You can hug me when I'm asleep. / I do. / [Screams]", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's a new kind of polymer treatment- Hey, shut up!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "What happened here? Lightning hit the transmitter? / See, that's what I thought at first, but then- Hey, shut up!", "c": ["Krusty", "Roger"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "That crater is where your lousy cartoon crash-landed! It's ratings poison!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Acclaimed? [Spits] / I oughta replace it right now with that Chinese cartoon... where the robots turn into blingwads!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "But I'm a lazy, lazy man, Roger.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "And- I'll come back later.", "c": ["Mel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "I need to purchase a brassiere. You kids wait over here in the credit department.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "And be honest, because no one from the show is here spying on you.", "c": ["Focus Group Leader"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Why is that mirror sneezing? / Uh, look, it's just an old, creaky mirror. You know, sometimes it sounds a little like it's sneezing... or coughing or talking softly.", "c": ["Ralph", "Focus Group Leader"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "My knob tastes funny. / Please refrain from tasting the knob.", "c": ["Ralph", "Focus Group Leader"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "One kid seems to love the Speedo man. What more do they want?", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "So you want a realistic, down-to-earth show... that's completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots?", "c": ["Focus Group Leader"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "And also you should win things by watching.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "You kids don't know what you want. That's why you're still kids- 'cause you're stupid!", "c": ["Focus Group Leader"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "It's as good as ever. But after so many years... the characters just can't have the same impact they once had.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Please sign these papers indicating that you did not save Itchy and Scratchy.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Itchy and Scratchy comprise a dramaturgical dyad. / Hey, this ain't art! It's business!", "c": ["Writer", "Network Executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "In your dreams. We're talking the original dog from hell. / You mean Cerberus?", "c": ["Network Executive", "Writer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "You've heard the expression 'let's get busy.' Well, this is a dog who gets 'biz-zay.'", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Excuse me, but 'proactive' and 'paradigm'- aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? / I'm fired, aren't I? / Oh, yes.", "c": ["Writer", "Network Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "So, Poochie okay with everybody? / Yeah. / Yeah, you know, it's good.", "c": ["Network Executive", "Writers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Oh, you know, attitude! Attitude! Uh, sunglasses!", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "I feel we should 'rastafy' him by 10% or so.", "c": ["Animator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Adding a new character is often a desperate attempt to boost low ratings.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Yo, yo. How's it hangin', everybody? / Morning, Roy. / Yeah, hi, Roy.", "c": ["Roy", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "You have a funny voice. / I do not! / Haven't you ever listened to yourself on a tape recorder? / I prefer to listen to Cheap Trick.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Hey, this is Homer Simpson saying- [Screams] / I don't sound like that, do I? / Oh, I don't like having such a hilarious voice.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Whoa! A talking dog. [Laughs] What were you guys smokin' when you came up with that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "We were eating rotisserie chicken.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Next to you, perfection is crap!", "c": ["Casting Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such cartoons as... Christmas Ape and Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Well, you can cram it with walnuts, ugly!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Oh, now I got the job, huh? Oh, thank you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "She smells sheet smells by the sheet 'shtore.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "You? But you're a lady. / [Itchy's Voice] She's a lady all right. / [Scratchy's Voice] A beautiful lady.", "c": ["Homer", "June Bellamy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "You mean 'meep-meep'? / No. They only paid me to say it once. Then they doubled it up on the soundtrack. Cheap bastards.", "c": ["Homer", "June Bellamy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "No, Homer. Very few cartoons are broadcast live. It's a terrible strain on the animators' wrists.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone... he strikes the same rib twice in succession... yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we- to believe that this is some sort of a- [Chuckles] a magic xylophone or something?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Why would a man whose shirt says 'genius at work'... spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon show?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "I withdraw my question.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "is there a way to get out of the dungeon without using the wizard key? / What the hell are you talking about?", "c": ["Fan", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Pardon me. Look out. Pardon me. Excuse me. Hot soup.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "1969- man walks on the moon. 1971 - man walks on the moon... again. Then for a long time, nothing happened. Until tonight.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Then for a long time, nothing happened.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Ooh, Poochie is one outrageous dude. / He's totally in my face.", "c": ["Itchy", "Scratchy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Wiggity, wiggity. Word up. Rock on, party.", "c": ["Poochie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory? [Whining]", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory? [Whining]", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on? Midge, help me out here.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on? Midge, help me out here.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Catch you on the flip side, 'dudemeisters.' Not!", "c": ["Poochie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Hey, kids, always recycle... to the extreme!", "c": ["Poochie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy and Chimpy I've ever seen.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy and Chimpy I've ever seen.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Mom, can we go to bed without dinner? / Yes, we can.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "[Thinking] Oh, you don't want to know what I really think.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Don't have a cow, Lise. / Bart's right. Let's none of us have a cow.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Last night's Itchy and Scratchy was, without a doubt... the worst episode ever!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "What? They've given you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? I mean, if anything, you owe them.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Worst episode ever.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Far be it from me to gloat in another's downfall... but I have a feeling no children are gonna be crying... when this puppy is put to sleep. [Laughing]", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Well, I'd attribute the product failure... to fundamental shifts in our key demographic... coupled with the overall crumminess of Poochie.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Uh, one: Poochie needs to be louder, angrier and have access to a time machine. Two: Whenever Poochie's not on screen... all the other characters should be asking, 'Where's Poochie?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Two: Whenever Poochie's not on screen... all the other characters should be asking, 'Where's Poochie?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Put a sock in it, Roy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Put a sock in it, Roy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "You're supposed to say, 'Please cut off my head. I don't deserve to live.'", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Never! / You can't just kill off a classic TV character. Poochie could be bigger than curly fries.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "I know there's a lot of people who don't like me and wish I would go away... and I think we got off on the wrong foot. I know I can come off a little proactive, and for that I'm sorry.", "c": ["Poochie/Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "I have to go now. My planet needs me.", "c": ["Poochie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Wow! Poochie came from another planet? / Uh, I guess.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Hey, that wasn't supposed to happen! Those finks double-crossed me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Well, kids, we all know that sometimes when cartoon characters die... they're back again the very next week. That's why I'm presenting this sworn affidavit... that Poochie will never, ever, ever return!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Good news, everybody. I'm movin' into my own apartment with two sexy ladies.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "Well, I guess I learned my lesson. The thing is, I lost creative control of the project. And I forgot to ask for any money.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "The thing is, I lost creative control of the project. And I forgot to ask for any money.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "What else is on?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 14, "et": "The Itchy Amp Scratchy Amp Poochie Show"}, {"t": "I hope you enjoyed my one-man pie fight, kids.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Now it's time for another 'fanschmabulous' episode...", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "But how can we watch TV when it's so beautiful out? Yeah, Mom. I mean, we love you and Dad too... but God knows we don't need to see you every day.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Mom! You can hug me when I'm asleep. - I do. - [Screams]", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's a new kind of polymer treatment- Hey, shut up!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "What happened here? Lightning hit the transmitter? See, that's what I thought at first, but then- Hey, shut up! That crater is where your lousy cartoon crash-landed! It's ratings poison!", "c": ["Krusty", "Roger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Acclaimed? [Spits] I oughta replace it right now with that Chinese cartoon... where the robots turn into blingwads!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "But I'm a lazy, lazy man, Roger.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Krusty, I've come to solicit donations for the Rock 'N' Roll Museum. And- I'll come back later.", "c": ["Mel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Why is that mirror sneezing? Uh, look, it's just an old, creaky mirror. You know, sometimes it sounds a little like it's sneezing... or coughing or talking softly.", "c": ["Child", "Focus Group Leader"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "My knob tastes funny. Please refrain from tasting the knob.", "c": ["Child", "Focus Group Leader"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "They like Itchy. They like Scratchy. One kid seems to love the Speedo man.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "So you want a realistic, down-to-earth show... that's completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots? - That's right. - Yeah, good.", "c": ["Focus Group Leader", "Children"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "You kids don't know what you want. That's why you're still kids- 'cause you're stupid!", "c": ["Focus Group Leader"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "The thing is, there's not really anything wrong with the Itchy and Scratchy Show. It's as good as ever. But after so many years... the characters just can't have the same impact they once had.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Please sign these papers indicating that you did not save Itchy and Scratchy.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "I mean, I don't want to sound pretentious here... but Itchy and Scratchy comprise a dramaturgical dyad.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Hey, this ain't art! It's business! What do ya got in mind? Sexy broad? Gangster octopus?", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "You mean Cerberus? We at the network want a dog with attitude. He's edgy. He's in your face. You've heard the expression 'let's get busy.' Well, this is a dog who gets 'biz-zay.'", "c": ["Network Executive", "Roger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Excuse me, but 'proactive' and 'paradigm'- aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that. - I'm fired, aren't I? - Oh, yes.", "c": ["Roger", "Network Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "So, Poochie okay with everybody? - Yeah. - Yeah, you know, it's good.", "c": ["Network Executive", "Writers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "No, no, no. He was supposed to have attitude! Um, wh-wh-what do you mean exactly? Oh, you know, attitude! Attitude! Uh, sunglasses!", "c": ["Network Executive", "Artist"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "I feel we should 'rastafy' him by 10% or so.", "c": ["Artist"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Poochie the Dog? Adding a new character is often a desperate attempt to boost low ratings.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Yo, yo. How's it hangin', everybody? - Morning, Roy. - Yeah, hi, Roy.", "c": ["Roy", "Simpson Family"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "You have a funny voice. - I do not! - Haven't you ever listened to yourself on a tape recorder? - I prefer to listen to Cheap Trick.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "I don't sound like that, do I? Oh, I don't like having such a hilarious voice.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Whoa! A talking dog. [Laughs] What were you guys smokin' when you came up with that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "We were eating rotisserie chicken.", "c": ["Writer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "You're perfect! In fact, you're better than perfect! Next to you, perfection is crap!", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such cartoons as... Christmas Ape and Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Now, that's just bad. You got no attitude, you're barely outrageous... and I don't know what you're in, but it's not my face. - Next. - Oh, no attitude, eh? Not in your face, huh? Well, you can cram it with walnuts, ugly!", "c": ["Director", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Oh, now I got the job, huh? Oh, thank you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "She smells sheet smells by the sheet 'shtore.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "You? But you're a lady. [Itchy's Voice] She's a lady all right. [Scratchy's Voice] A beautiful lady.", "c": ["Homer", "June Bellamy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "I started out as Roadrunner. 'Meep.' - You mean 'meep-meep'? - No. They only paid me to say it once. Then they doubled it up on the soundtrack. Cheap bastards.", "c": ["June Bellamy", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "No, Homer. Very few cartoons are broadcast live. It's a terrible strain on the animators' wrists.", "c": ["Director"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone... he strikes the same rib twice in succession... yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we- to believe that this is some sort of a- a magic xylophone or something?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Let me ask you a question. Why would a man whose shirt says 'genius at work'... spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon show?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.74, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "I withdraw my question.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "On the Itchy and Scratchy CD-ROM... is there a way to get out of the dungeon without using the wizard key? What the hell are you talking about?", "c": ["Fan", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "You're a lifesaver, Homer. I can't deal with these hard-core fans.", "c": ["June Bellamy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "There will be no cutting. I'm talking to you, Mr. Cutter.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Kindly make one out to me... and three out to my friend of the same name.", "c": ["Fan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Is this seat taken, little girl? - I'm not a girl! Are you blind? - Yes.", "c": ["Blind Man", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "1969- man walks on the moon. 1971 - man walks on the moon... again. Then for a long time, nothing happened. Until tonight.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "I'm not a girl! Are you blind? - Yes.", "c": ["Bart", "Blind man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Ooh, Poochie is one outrageous dude. He's totally in my face.", "c": ["Itchy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Wiggity, wiggity. Word up. Rock on, party.", "c": ["Poochie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory? [Whining]", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Catch you on the flip side, 'dudemeisters.' Not!", "c": ["Poochie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Hey, kids, always recycle... to the extreme!", "c": ["Poochie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Ah, that stunk!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy and Chimpy I've ever seen.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Mom, can we go to bed without dinner? Yes, we can.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "[Thinking] Oh, you don't want to know what I really think.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "It's just that Poochie was a soulless by-product of committee thinking. You can't be cool just by spouting a bunch of worn-out buzzwords.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Don't have a cow, Lise. - Bart's right. Let's none of us have a cow.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Last night's Itchy and Scratchy was, without a doubt... the worst episode ever!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes... registering my disgust throughout the world.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "What? They've given you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? I mean, if anything, you owe them.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Worst episode ever.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Far be it from me to gloat in another's downfall... but I have a feeling no children are gonna be crying... when this puppy is put to sleep. [Laughing]", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Well, I'd attribute the product failure... to fundamental shifts in our key demographic... coupled with the overall crumminess of Poochie.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "One: Poochie needs to be louder, angrier and have access to a time machine. Two: Whenever Poochie's not on screen... all the other characters should be asking, 'Where's Poochie?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "They make me madder than a, um, yak in heat!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Put a sock in it, Roy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "You're supposed to say, 'Please cut off my head. I don't deserve to live.' Never!", "c": ["Director", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Poochie could be bigger than curly fries.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "I know there's a lot of people who don't like me and wish I would go away... and I think we got off on the wrong foot. I know I can come off a little proactive, and for that I'm sorry.", "c": ["Poochie/Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "But if everyone could find a place in their hearts for the little dog nobody wanted... I know we can make 'em laugh... and cry till we grow old together.", "c": ["Poochie/Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "But if everyone could find a place in their hearts for the little dog nobody wanted... I know we can make 'em laugh... and cry till we grow old together.", "c": ["Poochie/Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "[Man's Voice] I have to go now. My planet needs me.", "c": ["Poochie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.49, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Hey, that wasn't supposed to happen! Those finks double-crossed me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Poochie's dead! [Guffawing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Well, kids, we all know that sometimes when cartoon characters die... they're back again the very next week. That's why I'm presenting this sworn affidavit... that Poochie will never, ever, ever return!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Good news, everybody. I'm movin' into my own apartment with two sexy ladies.", "c": ["Roy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "Well, I guess I learned my lesson. The thing is, I lost creative control of the project. And I forgot to ask for any money.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "We should thank our lucky stars they're still putting on... a program of this caliber after so many years. What else is on?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "We should thank our lucky stars they're still putting on... a program of this caliber after so many years. What else is on?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 15, "et": "Homers Phobia"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a 10-year-old boy. And vice versa.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Yeah, maybe so, but they get the job done. Hey! Now I know where my tax dollars are going.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Well, Krusty, as you may remember, after I tried to frame you for armed robbery... I tried to murder Selma Bouvier. Let's see. I rigged the mayoral elections... I tried to blow up Springfield with a nuclear device, and I tried to kill you.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "And whenever I could find a spare moment, I've tried to murder... Bart Simpson. [Screaming] [Door Slamming] He said 'tried'!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "[Groans] Someone should really go up there and talk to him. [Groans] [Sighs] Homer! Ohh, all those stairs.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Sure, you're the one who ruined all of Sideshow Bob's criminal schemes. We're very proud of you, by the way. And, sure, he's probably so insane with rage... that he'd butcher you horribly if he could. But he's safely locked away. In a medium-security prison. For life! Unless he gets out somehow. Which is impossible! Or so you think. Except he's done it so many times before.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Thanks for trying, guys. But Sideshow Bob wants me dead. And Sideshow Bob is an unstoppable killing machine.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Really, Reverend, your praise is gonna get me beaten up.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Yes, I'm a good, good man.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "You mean Arthur Fiedler's wake? No, no, no. I mean our falling out.", "c": ["Cecil", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Goodness, I had no idea. For, you see, I have been on Mars for the last decade... in a cave with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears.", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "And blood is thicker than bread and water.", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "I'm all murdered out.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Bob is no maniac. He explained his reasons for trying to kill us all. And I assure you, they were perfectly sane.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Uh, have the boys check into that.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "And as an American, aren't I entitled to one? Probably!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "[Thinking] I hope they still make that shampoo I like.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "I have the '82 Ch\u00e2teau Latour and a rather indifferent Rauzan-S\u00e9gla.", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "I'll be happy just as long as it doesn't taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "And please, God, kill Sideshow Bob. It's him or me, O Lord!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "You can't ask God to kill someone! Yeah! You do your own dirty work.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Hydrological and hydrodynamical. Talk about running the gamut.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "What about the buffoon lessons? The four years at clown college?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way.", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.61, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "These giant clown mitts are extremely hilarious, but do make it difficult to shift gears. That's the title of Erma Bombeck's latest, isn't it?", "c": ["Cecil", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Free comedy tip, slick. The pie gag's only funny when the sap's got dignity! Like that guy. Hey, Hal! Pie job for Lord Autumnbottom there!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "That guy's a genius! He's gonna change the way we think about getting hit by pies!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Cecil, no civilization in history has ever considered... chief hydrological engineer a calling. [Clearing Throat] Yes, yes. The Cappadocians. Fine.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Cecil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Just the thought of that raw, surging power makes me wonder why the hell I should care.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Oh, great. Whenever a woman passes by... I suppose it will be my job to lead the hooting. Oh, yeah! Shake it, madam. Capital knockers.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Maybe he's gonna pee in the river. Mmm, nah. That's not his style.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "He's just shy because I've tried to kill him so many times.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Oh, the pleasure's mine, Bob. It's so exciting to be dating a killer. To be fair, I never successfully killed anyone. Oh. I see.", "c": ["Edna", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "I did once try to kill the world's greatest lover. But then I realized there are laws against suicide.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Well, that's the last time I announce my dinner plans in class.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "He says that, but I bet he gives up pretty quickly.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "You speak as if they were a gaggle of slack-jawed yokels. Mr. Terwilliger, come quick! There's trouble down to the cement mixer, sir! See, Cousin Merl and me was playing fetch with Geech. That's our old smellhound and- Geech gone to heaven, Mr. Terwilliger.", "c": ["Cecil", "Cletus"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Temper, temper. You know Cousin Merl ain't been quite right lately.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Coveralls that don't quite cover all.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Sometimes I wish this dam would burst... and bury this cursed town.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Hey! You said we were going to Dairy Queen. I lied. Now help me rummage through Bob's trash for clues. Then I promise we'll go to the waterslide. Okay.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Madam, your children are no more... than a pair of ill-bred troublemakers.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Well, I hope Bob fed you 'cause I ate your dinners.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Bob's trailer at the construction site? That's even better. Let's go there. What were you thinking? The haunted mine.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "If I didn't know better, I'd swear Bob was building a dam.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Who left the lights on? Who's in here? Cletus? Cousin Merl? Big HungryJoe?", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Be careful! There's hydroelectricity in there!", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Then you must have had your eyes closed when you embezzled it!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Here's a clue for you, Jack! One hundred thousand tons of reinforced concrete.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "I know Cousin Merl has had his troubles with the revenuers, but he's hardly a master-", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Off the record, yes. But officially, I did it for the money!", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "When it's one of my schemes, you can't foil it fast enough. But when Cecil tries to kill you... 'It's hopeless. Utterly, utterly hopeless.'", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Come on! Quickly now! Bart, for once I'm not trying to kill you. I know it's awkward and I don't like it any more than you do. But you've got to trust me.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Ah, what the hell.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Let's go again! Let's go again! No!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Lisa, you don't spend 10 years as a homicidal maniac... without learning a few things about dynamite.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Guess who! Maris?", "c": ["Bart", "Cecil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Ooh, I suppose it is. Huh. If anyone asks, I'll lie.", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "There may be a slight ringing in your ears. Fortunately, you'll be nowhere near them.", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Bart, how would you like to do something incredibly noble? Do we have to? Yes.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't know about that. [Whimpers] Joking. Joking.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't relish having to write the Christmas letter this year. Nor I to read it.", "c": ["Cecil", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "That sounds like the testimony of crazy old Lisa Simpson.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "That's some good work, Lou. You'll make sergeant for this. Uh, I already am sergeant, Chief.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Quiet, Lou... or I will bust you down to sergeant so fast it'll make your head spin.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "Quiet, Lou... or I will bust you down to sergeant so fast it'll make your head spin.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "I think I wet my bed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "You'll live to regret this! Oh, thanks a lot. Now I look crazy.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "I'm older! I get the top bunk! Oh, poppycock! I called it at the arraignment! Get back!", "c": ["Cecil", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "So, when do they bring us the menus?", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 16, "et": "Brother From Another Series"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "opening day at the world's first two-story outhouse. [Man] Oh, God! Stop!", "c": ["TV Host", "Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Okay. How many of you are here for shoulder surgery, huh? - [All Groaning] - Got ya!", "c": ["Comedy Nurse", "Patients"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "You didn't remember that. You just saw it on TV. The important thing is I didn't imagine it.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "That's a trust, Janie, a sacred trust.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "[Snorts] All the best bands are affiliated with Satan.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "[Man Coughing] [Clears Throat] The topic was love.", "c": ["Man", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.36, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "People often mistake me for nine.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Homer, I've got a Fozzie of a bear of a problem.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Militants, huh? Well, if I were you, I'd kick their asses.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Oh, gee, I'd really love to want to help you, Flanders... but, uh, Marge was taken prisoner... in the... Holy Land, and-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Uh, I'll have to ask her.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Daddy says dice are wicked. We just move one space at a time. It's less fun that way.", "c": ["Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "[Both] Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth!", "c": ["Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Don't worry. A moth is no more harmful than a ladybug. A ladybug? [Screaming]", "c": ["Lisa", "Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "[Groans] They're gonna get eaten alive in middle school.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "So long, Lisa! If anything goes wrong, just dial 911 - unless it's an emergency.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "[Lisa] Okay, Chief! Enjoy Bob Saget! [Chuckles] It's Bob Seger. Aw, crap!", "c": ["Lisa", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "It's like a rent-a-car, Son. You get all the mileage you can... then ball it up and cram it through the mail slot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "I only wish my Volvo mechanic were as reliable. [Laughing] Good night, Lisa.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "I sell peace of mind for a dollar an hour- two dollars after 9:00.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "You could be Abe Lincoln's father's boss.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "This is the greatest injustice in the history of the world!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "You're dead. You should wash up for dinner. To make it fun, you can use the Mr. Bubble. It'll be like giving your fingers a bubble bath. You are so dead.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "I don't think we should be driving here. The mayor's yelling at us. Stop, you idiots! All right. All right. Geez!", "c": ["Marge", "Mayor Quimby", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Oh, I love this pedestrian mall. There's practically no traffic. - [Horn Honking] - [Gasping]", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "I didn't say I was gonna eat them. I just wanted to look at them because they're so gross.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm a baby, huh? Well, then I'll act like a baby. Ga-ga! Goo-goo!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Even babies know how to open and close their mouths. You need a bib. [Gags] Oh, baby hate bib.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Well, I guess that'll make things more interesting for you now, won't it?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Nah. I'm really more of a slacker.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "The entire menu was personally approved by my secretary. [Laughing]", "c": ["Celebrity Chef"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Isn't that clever? It looks like a Cadillac drove right into the building. Help me.", "c": ["Marge", "Trapped Person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Hey, this isn't faux dive! [Scoffs] This is a dive.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "You're a long way from home, yuppie boy. I'll start a tab.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "That's right. I want the 25-foot Italian party sub. And don't skimp on the vinegar.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "I'm using nonviolent resistance. Ugh! The idea that you would compare yourself to Mahatma Gandhi! Who?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "It's gonna be $225, plus tip. What? I didn't order any giant sub.", "c": ["Delivery Guy", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Hey, hey! Are you ready to get rowdy? Somebody hired me for an emergency bachelor party.", "c": ["Male Stripper"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "We got a report that a Lisa Simpson spotted a U.F.O. I didn't see any U.F. O! That's right, miss. You didn't.", "c": ["Agent", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "I'm here to pick up the ambassador from Ghana. Well, he's not here! Nobody's here!", "c": ["Driver", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "I said, 'Go to bed.' Yeah. 'Go to bread.' B-E-D! Bed! Oh! 'Bed'! Oh.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "You didn't say which bed!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Okay, we'll call it even if I can just have some of that big sandwich.", "c": ["Male Stripper"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "[Gasps] Eww! Your arm! It's got extra corners! [Gasps] Oh, cool!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "And you'll never babysit again!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Don't laugh at me. I was once like you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "I'm banging my head. I'm gonna make the lump even bigger. [Sinister Laughing]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Simpson? Look, we've already been out there tonight for a 'sisterectomy'... a case of severe butt rot and a leprechaun bite.", "c": ["911 Operator"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Well, near as we can tell, the boy was studying quietly... when the girl, drunk on her own sense of power... beat him silly with a block of frozen lima beans.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Complete confidentiality? Oh? Well, I'm sure he's as good as Dr. Hibbert. It says so right in his ad.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Yo, um, I must've, like, fallen on a bullet... and it, like, drove itself into my gut.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Hey, don't worry. You don't have to make up stories here. Save that for court.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Excuse me, little lady. The wheelbarrow line's over there.", "c": ["Hospital Worker"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Just as I thought! It's a Yard King! That is a quality barrow.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Citizens of Springfield... I officially declare this- What the hell is that? Why, it's Lisa Simpson! And look what she's doing!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "She's murdered her brother! And she's trying to dump the body in a harbor! Well, duh!", "c": ["Crowd Member", "Another Person"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "And she's on drugs! Give me the drugs, Lisa.", "c": ["Crowd Member", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "I was hoping they'd give me one of those steel claws, but what are you gonna do?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Yes, that is a concern, but it's so hard to find a sitter... and I've got judo tonight.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Yes, that is a concern, but it's so hard to find a sitter... and I've got judo tonight.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "Didn't you hear I almost killed my brother? You did? Just a minute. [Faint Conversation] What time can you come over?", "c": ["Lisa", "Ned", "Background Voices"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 17, "et": "My Sister My Sitter"}, {"t": "You sure look stupid in that green dress, Lise.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "That's funny. I don't feel stupid.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "It's been St. Patrick's Day for hours, and I'm still not drunk yet!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Where are the designated drivers? Beat it! I got no room for cheapskates.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "everyone is a little bit Irish... except, of course, for the gays and the Italians.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "I get bored with them. But that won't happen this time.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Beep-beep! Comin' through! Hey, Notre Dame, move it or lose it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Will the owner of the great big butt please move it out of my face.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "All this drinking, violence, destruction of property- Are these the things we think of when we think of the Irish?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Hey, look, everybody! Free beer!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Everybody- Everybody get naked!", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Look at me! I'm the prime minister of Ireland!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "The innocent words of a drunken child. Well, I'll tell you what we're looking at, young man. A town gone mad!", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "A town whose very conscience was washed away in a tide of beer and green vomit.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "What about that freezer lady in Georgia?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "They tried that in the movies, and it didn't work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Won't somebody please think of the children?", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "All our founding fathers, astronauts and World Series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "There's also a law requiring ducks to wear long pants.", "c": ["Town Clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Wait a minute! Let me see that! Well, I'll be darned. Long pants.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "I predict our new alcohol-free Duff Zero will sell even better than our previous brand.", "c": ["Duff Executive"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Well, that's the end of me.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "That was a scary couple of hours.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "I don't know why people are always bad-mouthing the Mafia.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "[Gasps] Pervert!", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "You're just a bunch of low-income nobodies!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Election in November. Election in November. What? Again? This stupid country.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "How do you know you don't like bribes if you've never taken one? Here.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "From now on, we'll stick to smuggling heroin. See that you do!", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Rex Banner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "But without beer, prohibition doesn't work.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Can I arrest any of you people for anything? No. Aw, geez. I don't have anything to do anymore.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Citizens"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "We're going out, Marge! If we don't come back, avenge our deaths!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "All right!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Rex Banner. What a dope! Yeah. Look at him try to aim that stupid gun.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Dad, knocking over a gravestone is bad luck. Really? I heard good.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Before! Before! You're livin' in the past, Marge. Quit livin' in the past.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Going bowling. Not back, avenge deaths.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Yeah, suck like a fox!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "This better be the best-tastin' beer in the world. You got lucky.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Oh. So many wasted nights.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Is some blind tiger jerking suds on the side?", "c": ["Rex Banner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Well, it is. I've known your father since high school and this is the cleverest thing he's ever done.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "[All] Go to your room, Lisa!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "What kind of pet shop is filled with rambunctious yahoos and hot jazz music at 1:00 a.m?", "c": ["Rex Banner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "But you people remember, baby turtles and alligators may seem like a cute idea for a pet but they grow up.", "c": ["Rex Banner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "You're out there somewhere, Beer Baron and I'll find you. No, you won't. Yes, I will. Won't.", "c": ["Rex Banner", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Look at me, Rex Banner. I have a new hat.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Call me Beer Baron.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "But I can't be out of beer. I'm the Beer Baron!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "How about some turpentine? Or caulk? Delicious caulk?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "You know, they're 50 for $3,000 today.", "c": ["Salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "We're patriots, like all those people in jail.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Well, if you're talking about root beer I plead guilt-diddily-ilty as char-diddily-arged.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Yes, but only by night. By day, I'm a mild-mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "What, dear? Kablamo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Yeah, I had to sell the trigger and most of the handle to feed my family.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Come on! Give me the dough! I can throw this pretty hard!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "The idea that someone like that could operate under my very nose is laughable.", "c": ["Rex Banner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Well, you all know what laughter sounds like.", "c": ["Rex Banner"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "I filled the balls with a funnel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Sorry. I thought you'd get a fine... or at most, three, four years in jail.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Sorry. I thought you'd get a fine or at most, three, four years in jail.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "If it were, I'd kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!", "c": ["Rex Banner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "Well, sorry. I'm not in that business anymore. Four minutes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.68, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 18, "et": "Homer Vs The Eighteenth Amendment"}, {"t": "the bake sale to raise money for the car wash has been canceled due to confusion", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "It's hard enough to keep the kids awake without you, Seymour", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Mrs. Krabappel, I also have an announcement to make! / Can't it wait till I retire?", "c": ["Martin", "Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "I want one and all to join me in celebrating the anniversary of my portentous birth!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Uh, yes. Let me just say this about that", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "We're what now? Three? Three-and-a-half. We get beat up, but we get an explanation", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Hey, it's Saturday! Your powers are useless against me", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Hey, Houdini! Why don't you saw Martin in half? Oh, I'm not the kind of magician who does tricks. I'm a mathemagician!", "c": ["Nelson", "Martin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Now, prepare to marvel at the mysteries of the universe as I make this remainder disappear. But seven goes into 28 four times. Uh- This is a magic seven!", "c": ["Martin", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "It might be nice to talk to a grown-up for a change", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "You know, normally I spend my Saturdays carefully laying out my clothes for the following week. Then I stroll down to the car wash to see if Gus is there", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "I collect matchbooks from glamorous nightclubs. It's amazing. If you just write to them and ask them nicely-", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Is this how you imagined your life, Edna? Well, yes. But then I was a very depressed child", "c": ["Skinner", "Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Seymour! I told you not to play in the neighbor's yard! It's a party, Mother. I was invited. Well, then I must have been invited too", "c": ["Agnes Skinner", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "I told you we should've served cake instead of oysters!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Eh, I gave my oysters to the cat. [Cat retching sounds]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Hey, why'd you eat 'em? I thought you were a vegetarian. I didn't. I just wanted to leave", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "More tea, Edna? What kind of little boy has a tea set? I think we both know the answer to that. A lucky boy!", "c": ["Martin", "Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "You know, Seymour, there's an innocence about you that can be quite charming", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "I've always admired your tart honesty and ability to be personally offended by broad social trends", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "And your laugh. You mean, 'Ha'? Mm-hmm. That's the one that makes me feel-", "c": ["Skinner", "Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "You have a breath mint I could borrow? I've got some menthol cigarettes. Oh, the heck with it!", "c": ["Skinner", "Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Good gravy! Oh, thank you. It's just brown and water", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "You could've at least said you were giving her C.P.R., or rehearsing a play. Is it too late to say that? Mm-hmm", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner", "Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Bart, if life has taught me one lesson repeatedly, it's to know when I'm beaten", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "your permanent record will one day disqualify you from all but the hottest and noisiest jobs", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "This is a great day for forbidden love", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Mmm, this dessert is exquisite. What do you call it? Applesauce. Of course. I'm sorry, I don't get out to restaurants much", "c": ["Skinner", "Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Usually, it's just soup for one, salad for one, wine for three", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "I always thought I'd fall for a woman just like Mother. Even though I didn't want to. And now that I haven't I've discovered what true happiness can be", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "I'm afraid I already swallowed it while you were talking", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Good morning, students. Way to go there, Wendell! There's Ralph. He knows the score! Jimbo, how's that hat today? Janie, Janie, Bo-phaney!", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Oh, heck! Life's too short for fire safety. Let's go outside and pick wildflowers", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Superintendent Chalmers! Uh, why, we're-we're on a, uh, a-a what do you call it? Field trip! With a student! Yes! He's purchasing refreshments in the lobby!", "c": ["Skinner", "Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Car keys! Car keys! Car keys!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "I collect pictures of cakes that I clip out of the magazines. It all started in 1941, when Good Housekeeping featured a photo of a lovely cake", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "You wouldn't happen to have any real cakes around here, would you? Oh, my, no! I don't care for cake. Too sweet", "c": ["Bart", "Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "At my age, I don't have much saliva left, so you'll have to lick my thumb before I can turn the page.", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "At my age, I don't have much saliva left so you'll have to lick my thumb before I can turn the page", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "You can't have that one! That's a coconut cake!", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "I love you, Edna Krabappel. [Class laughs] Bart's gonna marry the teacher! Where are you registered, Simpson?", "c": ["Bart", "Students"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "you must promise not to fall in love with me. [Students laugh] Now Martin's scoring off me. Oh, that is it!", "c": ["Martin", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Okay, crew. Set your faces to stunned", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "And then Bart opened the door, and Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel were kissing! [Gasps] And swearing!", "c": ["Lisa", "Students"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Father! Uncle Apu! A teacher was in the closet with the principal. And he had as many arms as Vishnu. And they were all very busy", "c": ["Apu's nephew"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "They were naked in the closet together. Wait a minute. Bart's teacher is named Krabappel? I've been calling her Crandall. Why didn't someone tell me? Oh, I've been making an idiot out of myself!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies. And I saw one of the babies. And the baby looked at me", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Nelson, Nelson, Nelson. How many kids have you beaten up this year? I don't know, 50? Ah, 50. Where does the time go?", "c": ["Skinner", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Bart, this is your father! Do you know where the remote is? I looked all over the house. [Shouting] Did you check your pocket? [Turns off bullhorn] It was in my pocket", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "I have a bomb! [Gasps] Hey, wait a minute! Those are hot dogs! Armour Hot Dogs! What kind of man wears Armour Hot Dogs?", "c": ["Bart", "Crowd"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Well, everyone the fact is, I haven't ever had relations. I am a virgin", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "Well, Seymour, it's clear you've been falsely accused because no one, anywhere, ever would pretend to be a 44-year-old virgin", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "We can't continue on like this trying to build a private relationship in public- the whole town watching our every move with a fine-tooth comb", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "That's why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them. [Both laughing]", "c": ["Skinner", "Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 19, "et": "Grade School Confidential"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Ooh, a free sample of gasoline", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "A note from Publisher's Clearinghouse... saying we're out of the running", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Ich esse. lhr ist. Wir essen. When? When? Ich bin hungrig!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Who pumped Ethyl? [Laughing Continues]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Gas your termites, Freeze your termites, Zap your termites... Save the termites", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Occupation? Hmm. Butt doctor. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Income? Whatever I finds, I keeps", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "My name is... Santa's Little Helper", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Who or what is Santos L. Halper?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Thanks, Santos! - [Gags] - A quarter? You're just the dog that keeps on giving, aren't ya?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "In volume two, Radioactive Man travels through time... to defeat Jesse Owens at the 1936 Olympic games", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "pardon me, Santos, if that is your real name, Bart Simpson... but your phony credit card is no good here", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Now, make like my pants and split!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Our phone doesn't go up to 800! Unless-", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "It smells like salmon too. Thanks, boy", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Let me answer that question with... cookware!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "You a winner! Ha-ha-ha! You a winner! Ha-ha-ha!", "c": ["Japanese radio voice"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 3.6, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "You've been all edgy and suspicious ever since I gave you those pep pills", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "If I want to comment on it, I'll comment on it. Who's gonna stop me? You, Pep Pill Boy? Pep Boys, pills, Beverly Sills", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Only 800 will be bred. Quite possibly the world's best dog", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Twelve hundred bucks! I better just get one", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Hello. My name is Laddie. I've been trained to gather fruit for you as a welcome gift", "c": ["Laddie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "That's Laddie. Bart says he won him at a church carnival two towns over. In a truth-telling contest, right, Bart?", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. A dog like this you have to feed every day", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Some call it the dog that never sleeps... though it actually does while jogging", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "[Toilet Flushing] - Whoa! - Wow", "c": ["Family"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Good dog", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "We didn't see nothin' if you didn't see nothin'", "c": ["Repo men"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Hey, stop! You can take back the bassinet, but the baby's ours!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Sorry, boy. I didn't plan this. It just sort of happened", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Do you think he noticed?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "We wrecked the first dog. We've gotta treat this one right", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "How come we never take Santa's Little Helper here? - Crowds give him gas", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "No, no. Jessica's been fixed. She just needs a little- [Clicks Tongue] attention", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Why, that canine has the proud bearing and glossy fur coat of a Yale man", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Smithers, I believe this dog was in Skull and Bones", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Remember the time he ate my goldfish, and you lied to me and said I never had any goldfish? But why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Lumley, shovel on more dogs, won't you? Aye, aye. More dogs!", "c": ["Bart's imagination"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "I'd take him, but those cards are nontransferable", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "And, Baby Gerald... we can't help but wonder what mischief you'll get into next", "c": ["News reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Boy, we sure could use a dog like that on the force!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "You know how I feel about giving!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food... until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Rats! I almost had him eatin' dog food", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "But I don't want to!", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Yeah, I bought your mutt, and I ate him! I 'ate his little face, I 'ate his guts... and I 'ate the way he's always barking!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Oh, I see. You hate him, so you gave him to the church", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Yes, I remember Satan's Little Helper... littering the rectory with his dirt, biting me in the apse", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "You didn't crucify him?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Especially since my parrot decided to stop talking. Polly? Polly, want to say hi to our guest? Huh? Fine. Be that way", "c": ["Mitchell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Ha! I may be blind, but you just ran into a closet", "c": ["Mitchell"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Tell you what- Why don't we let the dog decide?", "c": ["Mitchell"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Why, without it I could, uh, go even blinder, right?", "c": ["Mitchell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "That cat's been struttin' around like she owns the place", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 20, "et": "The Canine Mutiny"}, {"t": "Colonel? - Vlad.", "c": ["TV characters"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, recycling is useless, Lis. Once the sun burns out, this planet is doomed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Mom. Mom. You're mixing polyethylene with polyurethane.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Only the stupid ones.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Dad, you're not supposed to have fun recycling. This is serious. - Oh, okay.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "What a load of garbage. I am ecstatic.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Family, religion, friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "When opportunity knocks... don't wanna be driving to the maternity hospital or sitting in some church. Or synagogue.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm not familiar with that term, you adorable little ragamuffin.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "So Mother Nature needs a favor. She should've thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts, floods and monkeys.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "How dare you question Mr. Burns? - I'll handle it, Smithers. Shut up, little girl.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "According to your recent biography, you only have 100 million dollars today. - My dear. I...", "c": ["Lisa", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Actually, sir, it's considerably less than that.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Here's where I stopped checking it last time, September, 1929.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Well, sir, it happened 25 years before I was born. - Oh, that's your excuse for everything.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Trans-Atlantic Zeppelin, Amalgamated Spats, Congreve's Inflammable Powders, U.S. Hay, and the rest into that up-and-coming Baltimore Opera Hat Company.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "It sounds like you're working for your car. Simplify, man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "We collected enough paper to save one whole tree. Oh, Mommy, help.", "c": ["Lisa", "Tree"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "I see it all now. You're just a bunch of yes men. I was making wrong moves and you were too gutless to tell me, right? - Oh, yes, sir. - Dead on, sir.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Yes men"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "This place has got old man stink. - Don't listen to him, sir. You've got an enchanting musk.", "c": ["Hitman wrestler", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Don't listen to him, sir. You've got an enchanting musk.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Why would I want a picture of a pitiful, pencil-necked geek? - Yeah, why, indeed?", "c": ["Hitman wrestler", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "You found a candy bar? - Oh, yes. Gather around, my son, and I shall tell you a tale.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Work harder. Bye.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Work harder. Bye.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Hey. Aren't you that guy everybody hates? - Oh, my, no. I'm Monty Burns.", "c": ["Bus passenger", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "I am riding on a bus.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Sorry, pops. They don't put nobodies on cereal boxes.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Thanks. I ventured in to search for milk when the door snapped shut behind me.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Ketchup. Catsup. Ketchup. Catsup. I'm in way over my head.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Hey! Why don't you try the old folks' home? They practically live in their own filth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "That's the library. Not allowed in there either. And don't even think about going in the game room.", "c": ["Nursing home resident"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Best bet is to stake yourself out a good spot at the staring window.", "c": ["Nursing home resident"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Sorry, we're not allowed to read newspapers. They angry up the blood.", "c": ["Nursing home resident"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "I'd never help you. You're the worst man in the world. Yes. That's the kind of moxie I'm looking for. You're hired.", "c": ["Lisa", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "You mean Maggie? - The baby who shot me, no, I was referring to your other daughter.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "A nickel will buy you a pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake and a newsreel with change left to ride the trolley from Battery Park to the polo grounds.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Shine on, you crazy diamond. - Sounds like somebody's living in the past. Contemporize, man.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Hippie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Please be Flanders. Please be Flanders. Please be Flanders.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "I've turned these cans into 'can do.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "He went from stinking rich to just plain stinking.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Come on. Let's pick up the pace, you neglected old nincompoops.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "People, if we meet this week's quota... I'll take you to the most duck-filled pond you ever sat by.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Hot-diggety! That's how they got me to vote for Lyndon LaRouche.", "c": ["Elderly worker"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Makes Little Debbie look like a pile of puke.", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "It sweeps the sea clean.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "It's a high-protein feed for farm animals, insulation for low-income housing, a powerful explosive, and a topnotch engine coolant.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "You haven't changed at all. You're still evil. And when you're trying to be good, you're even more evil.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "And when you're trying to be good, you're even more evil.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "No! It's evil! Please, stop recycling!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "I hope you learned your lesson, Lisa. Never help anyone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "Dad, 10 percent of 120 million dollars isn't 12,000, it's...", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 21, "et": "The Old Man And The Lisa"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "but I got a lot of work to do around the bed", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "In that case, he should've made the week an hour longer. Lousy God.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "[Yawns] Damn it!", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "[Moe] Aw, for the love of crumb cake.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "[Bird Screeching] [All Gasping]", "c": ["Congregation"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "It's the longest possible time before more church.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "It's starting to turn brown.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Can you believe it? They give you five Q's and only two U's. What a world.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "I wasn't prepared for that.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Hey, here's a perfectly good basketball half.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "I found a Malibu Stacy with no head.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "[Bart] Maybe it's a box from the future! [Lisa] It looks Japanese.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Wh-Why am I on a Japanese box?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Do you know, thanks to you, I've rediscovered a form of shame that's gone unused for 700 years?", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "We rented Man Without a Face. I didn't even know he had a problem!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Oh, it's all good.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "The '60s were long over, and people were once again ready to feel bad about themselves.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Well, I was talked into doing a dance called the bump, but my hip slipped, and my- my buttocks came into contact with the buttocks of another young man!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Well, l- I think I may be coveting my own wife.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Luckily, by then it was the '80s, and no one noticed.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Oh, well, this is, um, the, uh- the Listen Lady.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "All righty. Uh, number one, I've lost the will to live.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Oh, that's ridiculous, Moe. You've got lots to live for.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Do you know that so-called volunteers don't even get paid?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Hey, if they got a picture of you, that means they can see you. They're probably watching us right now.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "That's ridiculous! Nobody is watching us right now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "He boasts that he will banish dirt to the land of wind and ghosts.", "c": ["Akira"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "This soap is from the sacred forest of Hokkaido, renowned for its countless soap factories.", "c": ["Akira"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no! It's worse than that! I don't even have a wife. I just said I did to, you know, be a big shot.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "I'll stuff him till he don't know what's what.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "And you never will be.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Y-Y-Yes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Hello, chief. Let's talk. Why not?", "c": ["Japanese businessman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Oh, you have many question Mr. Sparkle. I send you premium. Answer question 100%.", "c": ["Japanese businessman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Um, could we please not yell out things in the church?", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "I'm a shepherd without a flock. What have I done to lose them?", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Mmm. I'm a shepherd without a flock. What have I done to lose them?", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "That's my name. Don't wear it out.", "c": ["St. Eleutherius"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Well, I had the vestibule recarpeted.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "I've appeared in over 8,000 visions and that's the lamest reply I've ever heard.", "c": ["St. Eleutherius"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "You, you're just lucky God isn't here.", "c": ["St. Eleutherius"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Just give him a day or two, and I'm sure he'll be back to his old dynamic self!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "If the passengers will look to the right, you will see a sad man. That is all.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Boring! That didn't explain anything.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Yup! There's your answer, fish bulb.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "We are home. That was fast.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Uh, excuse me, fellas. l-l-I couldn't help thinking it might be nice if you could, uh, vamoose, you know- [Chuckles] if possible.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Hey, let's go over to the one-hour photo and breathe some fumes.", "c": ["Teenage hooligan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "but the gas costs 1.49 and eight-tenths.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Well, I can't see the name of the station... but the gas costs 1.49 and eight-tenths.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "First they'll eat his skin.", "c": ["Zookeeper"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Tell Maude I want a fancy funeral! Big coffin, lots of jewels!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "Say your prayers, you heathen baboons!", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "A pair of the great apes rose up at me, but bif-bam, I sent them flying like two hairy footballs.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 22, "et": "In Marge We Trust"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Which, if true, means death for us all.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Then, on his 18th birthday... he was blown up in a silo explosion.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "During his long recuperation, he taught himself to hear... and feel pain again.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "with a minor in determination", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "A self-made man, like me.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "He pulled a toddler from the path of a speeding car... then pushed a criminal in front of it.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "What? Oh, yes, that fellow. Just put him somewhere out of the way.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Chair goes round. Chair goes round.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "I should probably go home sick. Mmm-Hmm. Mm-hmm. Mmm... hmm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Just like a pencil company executive.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Can I have this one? ... Can... Lenny have it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "I didn't even know what a nuclear 'panner' plant was.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "If you turn that security camera around... you can sleep and no one will ever know.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. They're always trying to screw you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Cool. What'd I buy? 35 Industry Way.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Okay, 'Grimey.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "It's filthy- and it's mine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "That got it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "God, he eats like a pig. I don't know. Pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "He had three beers at lunch. That would make anybody sleepy.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Uh, 316 times, by my count.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Boy, would my face have been red.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Boy, would my face have been red.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "He likes you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Okay. Do I have to do anything?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Me-The most beloved man in Springfield.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Hey! This is Richard Nixon's enemies list. You just crossed out his name and put yours.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Then, when he's not expecting it- Bam! The old fork in the eye.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Do you think it might work without the fork in the eye? There's always a first time.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Other kid, perfect.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "'Casa de Simpson,' as I call it.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "He owns a factory downtown.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "I live in a single room above a bowling alley... and below another bowling alley.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "I live in a single room above a bowling alley... and below another bowling alley.", "c": ["Frank Grimes"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "And here's a picture of me in outer space. You... went into outer space? You?", "c": ["Homer", "Frank"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Everything! A dream house, two cars, a beautiful wife... a son who owns a factory, fancy clothes and- lobsters for dinner.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "I'm saying... you're what's wrong with America, Simpson. You coast through life, you do as little as possible... and you leach off decent, hard-working people- like me.", "c": ["Grimes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "He's got you there, Dad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Wacky shack!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Well, that's crazy talk. You're crazy, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's his problem. He's a nut.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Good morning, fellow employee. You'll notice that I am now a model worker. We should continue this conversation later... during a designated break period. Sincerely, Homer Simpson.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "That's why they put erasers on pencils.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "I would die a happy man if I could prove to you... that Homer Simpson has the intelligence of a six-year-old.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Marge, do we have any elbow macaroni and glue-on sparkles?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Oh, no problemo. Here's a nickel for the coffee machine.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "I was watching. I saw the whole thing. First it started falling over, and then it fell over.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "It's supposed to be a power plant, not Aunt Beulah's bordello.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Then I added some fins to lower wind resistance- And this racing stripe here, I feel is pretty sharp.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Yeah-And Homer beat their brains out.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "I can be lazy too. Look at me. Hi. I'm a worthless employee, just like Homer Simpson. Give me a promotion.", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "D'oh, d'oh, d'oh.", "c": ["Frank Grimes"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "What's this? 'Extremely high voltage.' Well, I don't need safety gloves, because I'm Homer Simp-", "c": ["Frank"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "[Snoring] Change the channel, Marge. That's our Homer.", "c": ["Homer", "mourners"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 23, "et": "Homers Enemy"}, {"t": "Spin-off! Is there any word more thrilling to the human soul?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such TV spin-offs as Son of Sanford and Son and After Mannix", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I'm here at the Museum of TV and Television... with a real treat for Simpsons fans, if any...", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "35 new shows to fill a few holes in their programming lineup", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "That's a pretty daunting task. And the producers weren't up to it.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Keep at least one eye open. 'Cause his best friends, the Simpsons, just might pop in to wish him luck.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Sweet Lady Gumbo. Old... Swampy.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Got kicked off the force for one thing. - For massive corruption. - For massive- Exactly.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, I left briefly to take that principal's job in Springfield. But, in my heart, I've- I've always been a small-time hustler.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Bleh! Looks like you've already got an enemy, Chief.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Oh, man, what a day. It's no cakewalk being a single parent... juggling a career and a family like so many juggling balls. Two, I suppose.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Daddy, these rubber pants are hot. - You wear 'em until you learn, Son.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I guarantee! - Will you stop saying that?", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Well, to be honest, Chief, I haven't lived in New Orleans for 42 years. Although, uh, according to an article I read in Parade magazine...", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Big Daddy, eh? Well, he won't feel so big... if he messes with Chief Wiggum, P.I. again. Which I sincerely doubt he will.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Lucky for you this was just a warning gator. The next one won't be corked.", "c": ["Big Daddy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Listen up, Big Daddy! You don't scare me! I'm three steps ahead of you!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Oh, Chief, your boy's been kidnapped. - Oh, God!", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Looks like we've got our first case ever, Skinny Boy. And this time, it's personal.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Who is this? - It's me, Chief. I'm on the other extension.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Ah, the boy is fine, so far. I taught him to play the spoons.", "c": ["Big Daddy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Nah, it's not really a party town. Though, if I remember correctly... they occasionally hold a function called Mardi-something.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Mardi Gras, man. When The Big Easy calls, you gotta accept the charges.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Chief Wiggum, I can't wait to hear about all the exciting, sexy adventures... you're sure to have against this colorful backdrop.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Well, golly, I'd love to chat, but my son's been kidnapped. You haven't seen him, have you? Caucasian male between the ages of six and 10, thinning hair.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Over there. Look, Big Daddy, it's regular Daddy.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "The chief! Ooh, I suppose I'd best to run! Lord have mercy, I wish I weren't so fat.", "c": ["Big Daddy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "What do you suppose the rent is on a hideout like that?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Ah, it's not rented, Chief. It's stolen. That's the Louisiana Governor's Mansion. It's been missing for eight months.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Mes chers, New Orleans is my town. Won't nobody gonna mess with me. I got interests. And I ain't talking about stamp collecting. Though, I do find that extremely interesting.", "c": ["Big Daddy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, that makes two of us.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "He's gradually getting away, Chief.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Ah, let him go. I have a feeling we'll meet again each and every week... always in more sexy and exciting ways.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Better start eating, kid. - Start eating? - I didn't mean it that way.", "c": ["Big Daddy", "Ralph Wiggum", "Big Daddy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Could The Simpsons ever have maintained its popularity without Moe the bartender? Let's hope so, because Moe's leaving to do his own sitcom.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Well-Ahh- I better go. I got a date with that lady in front of the drug store who's always yelling things.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "She told me she was washing her hair tonight.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I'm so desperately lonely.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I did! It's me, Abe Simpson! But you're d-d-d-dead. I was. But I've come back as your love testing machine.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I'm The Love-Matic Grampa!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Yeah, All Quiet on the Western Front.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Ah, kiss my dishrag.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "See? That's your problem. You're a crab. Ladies like sweet-talkers.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm sweet. I'm sweeter than Jewish wine.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Son, it's me. I floated up toward heaven but got lost along the way.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Darn tootin', you lousy fink! You buried me naked and sold my suit to buy a ping-pong table!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Call me when you get a karaoke machine.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I was just in a car accident. Can I use your phone? - Uh, using the phone's a four-drink minimum.", "c": ["Betty", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Lovelorn. You need man. Moe near now. Go near Moe.", "c": ["Love-Matic Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "So how about you and me go out sometime? You know, out back? I mean, uh, out to dinner at a fancy French restaurant?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Dang right. Fact is, I invented kissing. It was during World War I, and they were looking for a new way to spread germs.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, yeah, romantic. Uh, ain't sunshine pretty? Ain't flowers stupid?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "You know what's great about you, Betty, is you're letting your looks go gracefully. You're not all hung up on looking attractive and desirable. It's just so rare and refreshing.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Um, uh, oh, uh, I might as well come clean with ya. I ain't too good at talking to women, and I really wanted to do ya... so I brought along the Love Tester to help me.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Hey, get away from that! Leave him alone! It said I was gay!", "c": ["Man", "Customer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.16, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Why, you conniving, devious... monstrous, despicable, sweet little angel.", "c": ["Betty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah. Now how's about introducing me to that cute little pay phone out front?", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "He's horny.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, one family member didn't want that chance and refused to participate. But thanks to some creative casting, you won't even notice.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Remember me? My name is Marge. The TV mom whose hair is large.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I'm Lisa, peppy, blonde and stunning. Sophomore prom queen five years running.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Here he is! - I'm hiding from th-th-the ghost!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Before the show... you said we were having a special 'ghost' tonight. I said we were having a special 'guest' tonight. Mr. Tim Conway!", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "What's a Tim Conway? - Oh, about a 120 pounds.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Tim Conway"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "It's not a plant, Marge, it's a tree. And I've nearly chewed through it.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I know. And I made your favorite- 'stakes!' Hey, would you two close the 'dam' door? - But that's where we live. A dam.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Bart Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Look, everybody. Maggie got her first tooth. - Oh, was it something I said?", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Arr! Someone should be keelhauled for that one.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I move that the last sketch be stricken from the record. Now bring in the next offender.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "How are we supposed to do our big musical number with so many problems in the world? Well, I know one thing in this world that's still pure and good. - Christian love? - No. Candy!", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Marge Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I think that I shall never see. My cataracts are blinding me.", "c": ["Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "And they thought I stunk.", "c": ["Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "I'm still here. Fox wouldn't spring for a decent hotel room.", "c": ["Tim Conway"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "We'd like to thank Fox and the good people at Budget Lodge.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "As you walk down that road of life- Hitchhike. It's faster.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Well, here's what's on tap for season nine. Magic powers! Wedding after wedding after wedding. And did someone say long-lost triplets?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "and a tiny green space alien named Osmodiar that only Homer can see...", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "Damn straight, Troy, my man.", "c": ["Osmodiar"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 24, "et": "The Simpsons Spin Off Showcase"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, can't anybody in this town take the law into their own hands?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "While Johnny Welfare plays acid rock on a stolen guitar... his old lady has a better idea... She's got the 'munchies' for a California cheeseburger", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "So, the next time you're walking on the beach... enjoying an hourglass or making cheap, low-grade windshields... think where we'd be without sand", "c": ["Educational Film Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Uh, Miss Hoover, movies are a nice break... but couldn't we be doing something a little more challenging? Probably.", "c": ["Lisa", "Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "I have no objection to man walking on the moon", "c": ["Adlai Stevenson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Slow down, tubby. You're not on the moon yet", "c": ["Educational Film Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Maybe she drove to the moon", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Of course we could make things more challenging, Lisa... but then the stupider students would be in here complaining... furrowing their brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Uh, there's Chiquita. That's Del Monte. There's a Banan Co. Gorilla's Choice", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, I won't be getting up soon", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Bart discovering and playing with the police PA system", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "I know. I'll go to my room and think about what I did. Oh, no, your room is full of toys. You're going to the, uh, garage.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "For example, there are behavior-modifying drugs. How wedded are you to the Bart you know?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "How wedded are you to the Bart you know?", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "It set my brother straight. Now he owns and operates a famous cave", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Wow! I can't believe we're going to Disneyland", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Shh. Edna, your tears say more than words ever could.", "c": ["Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Military school? You lied to me! Well, I'm sorry if you heard Disneyland... but I distinctly said military school", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Fortunately, we've had a couple of recent freak-outs... so that freed up a couple of bunks", "c": ["Military School Commandant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "They're just like the terra-cotta warriors of Xi'an. They sure are. [Groaning]", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Students"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "But the truth can be harsh and disturbing. How can that be considered beautiful? Oh, he sure sucked the fun out of that poem.", "c": ["Student", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, he sure sucked the fun out of that poem", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Please don't make me stay, Dad. I'll find religion. I'll be good sometimes", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "This school has everything I ever wanted. Lisa, no! This place is just a jail for children", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "You're a girl? All I want is a chance to prove myself. Hmm. In our 185 years, we have never had a female cadet", "c": ["Commandant", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "After all, we have female singers... female motorists", "c": ["Commandant"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "I wanna quit and come home. Oh, honey, I heard you the first time", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "First of all, Franklin, you are no longer the girliest cadet here. [Feminine] Well, we'll see about that.", "c": ["Commandant", "Franklin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "First of all, Franklin, you are no longer the girliest cadet here. [Feminine] Well, we'll see about that", "c": ["Commandant", "Franklin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Company 'L'? But they smell. Yes, we've all heard the chant", "c": ["Student", "Commandant"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "I can't believe they let a girl in. Don't worry. We'll drive her out of the academy. That is why God created hazing.", "c": ["Cadets"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Is there any answer I can give that won't result in more push-ups? [Murmuring] No", "c": ["Lisa", "Cadets"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Who's Tim? Apparently Tim was somebody who was with the general... moments before he was shot in the head", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Get to work! I wanna see my face in that horse's ass!", "c": ["Drill Sergeant"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, what about me? I'm a lowly maggot", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, since you attended public school... I'm going to assume you're already proficient with small arms", "c": ["Weapons Instructor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Four out of five, Simpson. Impressive. But you missed your last target. Did I?", "c": ["Instructor", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Too bad it doesn't run in your family. Um, could someone help me? It's stuck on auto fire.", "c": ["Instructor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "If there's a war, just blow on it and I'll come help you", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, go on, boy. Go get it. Answer the phone. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, you're really asking two questions there. The first one takes me back to 1934...", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, you're really asking two questions there. The first one takes me back to 1934...", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "And... that's everything that happened in my life... right up to the time I got this phone call.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm afraid I'd just be repeating myself, honey", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "I've already talked to her for 20 damn minutes. [All] Mm-mmm", "c": ["Student", "Other Students"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Bart, who you talking to? Uh- Lisa. You're talking to Lisa. I'm talking to... no one", "c": ["Student", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Then went crazy as a loon", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "But if you quit, it'd be like an expert knot-tier... quitting a knot-tying contest right in the middle of tying a knot", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Why'd you say that? I don't know. I was just looking at my shoelaces", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Like a sock maker working on a top secret sock- Will you stop looking at your feet?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["running_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "My killing teacher says I'm a natural.", "c": ["Cadet"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "That was prior to 1957. Thank you very much, state supreme court.", "c": ["Commandant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Meet the Eliminator. That's a 150-foot hand-over-hand crawl... across a 60-gauge hemp-jute line with a blister factor of 12", "c": ["Commandant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, welcome to flavor country", "c": ["Commandant"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "This wasn't in the brochure", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Uh, hey, Simpson, what are you doing out here? Nothin'. Nothin'? Doesn't look like nothin'. Oh, yeah? Well, um, what are you doing out here? Uh... also nothin'", "c": ["Students", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Bees. Bees? [Screams]", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Although that's more cursing... than I like to hear from a cadet in peacetime.", "c": ["Commandant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, at least they're talking to me", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I'm delirious", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "We're gonna make your life a living hell for the rest of the semester. But graduation's in three hours", "c": ["Students", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "You thought I couldn't, but I could. I did. And I could do it again. Let's do it again! Lisa, it's over. You can put your arms down. I can't. They're stuck.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "We're gonna make your life a living hell for the rest of the semester. But graduation's in three hours. We better go change.", "c": ["Cadets"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "They will be fought in space. Or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots", "c": ["Graduation Speaker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "The wars of the future... will not be fought on a battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space. Or possibly on top of a very tall mountain.", "c": ["Graduation Speaker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "Sir, yes, sir! Luckily I am now trained... in six additional forms of unarmed combat, sir!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "'For satisfactory completion of the second grade.' Oh", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "We thought this time we'd take you to Disneyland for real. [Both] Yea! [Both] Hey!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 8, "e": 25, "et": "The Secret War Of Lisa Simpson"}, {"t": "91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "I knew we could do it!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "We'll choose the same way they pick the pope. Everybody reach in and draw a pickled egg. Whoever gets the black egg stays sober tonight", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "No!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, everybody, I'm Peter Pants-less!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, it's Duffman... the guy in a costume that creates awareness of Duff", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "I can't! I'm the designated driver!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Duff wholeheartedly supports the designated driver program", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "No. The Playboy Mansion. Playboy Mansion! Shut up! It's my car, and I say we're going to the lost city of gold", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "That's just drunk talk. Sweet, beautiful drunk talk", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Just slide it under the door", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "All I remember about the last two months is giving a guest lecture at Villanova. Or maybe it was a street corner", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Marge, you can stand there finding fault, or you can knit me some seat belts", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Nothing good has ever come out of New York City", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Yeah. That's what people do in Russia", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "I was on my way to the Harrisburg Coat Outlet to buy an irregular coat", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "And that's when the CHUDs came at me", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "if you only focus on the pimps and the CHUDs", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Nine bucks? This one's on me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "But you're not gettin' this!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Dad, our baby pictures were in there", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "How come we had to transfer in Atlanta twice?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "I just think we should've paid the extra $1.50 and gotten a bus with restrooms", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey. Marge, I can't feel my legs. I can't feel my legs! Homer! Homer, those legs belong to the man behind you.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Homer, those legs belong to the man behind you", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Wow! I feel like such a nobody", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "You guys rock! - Eh, maybe a little", "c": ["Bart", "ZZ Top member"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "So if anyone asks, we're sophisticated millionaires from the Ozarks", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "'Cause once the sun goes down, all the weirdos turn crazy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, immigrants, beat it! Country's full!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Okay, folks. You heard the lady. Back into the hold. We'll try Canada", "c": ["Ship captain"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, when you're done with that, I got something up here you can bite on!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, why don't you be polite, you stinkin' pus bag!", "c": ["New Yorker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Your plea has been- Rejected", "c": ["Automated system"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "That's- How many hours? Ten, 11, denominator-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Uh, okay. Just send it to: Jesus, care of the Pentagon", "c": ["Homeless man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "but unlike yourselves, I was born without taste buds. Let me demonstrate", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "So hungry. Can't leave car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "No bowl. Stick. Stick", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Mmm! Now, what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, geez! I'll take a crab juice", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Don't even think about it, pal!", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "No. No, Lisa. They're just sleeping... upside down and inside out", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, no! Chinese fire drill! Serious this time!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Frontsies. Backsies. I'm with them. V.I.P. coming through. Very important person. Give me frontsies", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "I certainly hope someone stabs him in the eye", "c": ["British tourist"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "We're buying our sign on the installment plan", "c": ["MAD Magazine employee"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Get me Kaputnik and Fonebone! I wanna see their drawings for the 'New Kids on the Blech.'", "c": ["MAD Magazine editor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Wow! I will never wash these eyes again", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Wow! I will never wash these eyes again.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "When I grow up, I wanna be in the Betty Ford Center", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Brain, how can I ever thank you? Just don't bump me on your way out of the car", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Die! Die!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Homer one, New York nothing!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "My God! That maniac is headin' straight for us! Go, Secretariat! Go!", "c": ["New Yorker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Trust me. Throw the kids. No time for the baby.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Trust me. Throw the kids. No time for the baby", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "We'll see, honey. We'll see", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 1, "et": "The City Of New York Vs Homer Simpson"}, {"t": "Good Lord! The rod up that man's butt must have a rod up its butt.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Superintendent Chalmers, can I offer you a cup of coffee-flavored Bevarine?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Yes. I take it gray, with Creamium.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "The teachers' lounge is for teachers, Willy.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Miss Hoover, which one is 'oral'?", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Out of your mouth, Ralph. Volunteers.", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Thank you, Lisa. - No, Miss Hoover. I'm Ralph.", "c": ["Miss Hoover", "Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Miss Hoover, which one is 'one'?", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "These are in honor of his army days. - That explains the flags. - What about the dog food? - My theory is Skinner likes dog food.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Ooh! A fresh batch of America balls!", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "No! Cutting out your ugly nose gives me a hand cramp!", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Ralph. - Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "When I grow up, I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Nevertheless, I have a surprise for you.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "An enjoyment buzzer.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Keep looking shocked and move slowly towards the cake.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "That's not a funny story.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Well, I guess you had to be there.", "c": ["Real Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Well, obviously it isn't. My real name is Armin Tamzarian.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Of course, if I'd known there was a war going on, I probably would've apologized.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "My dreams all involve combing my hair.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Well, there's nothing corny about fresh-faced youngsters skipping to school... scraping knees and spelling bees... and pies cooling softly on the windowsill.", "c": ["Real Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Well, sir, if that's corny, then corn me up.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Come on! Get to the part where you steal his identity.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "I'm trying to explain how emotionally fragile I was.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Oh, it's one of those stories.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "That's pretty much what I was planning to do there, Armin.", "c": ["Real Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "I didn't dream anything about an aqua suit... or a lavender shirt, but you did take care of Mom.", "c": ["Real Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "I have no son.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Look, lady, you obviously have at least one son.", "c": ["Real Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "No! I have one stranger and one fraud.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "I don't see how me signing Homer's name is any different... from you using Sergeant Skinner's name.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "I guess me punishing you would be somewhat hypocritical.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. Easy there, you big impostor.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Just put an 'X,' then call yourself whatever the hell you want.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Who's Ned Flanders?", "c": ["Real Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "This sentence I'm speaking... right now. / Period.", "c": ["Armin"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Armin Tamzarian's reign of terror is over.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Oh, 10 Canadian dollars. That's a souvenir from your trip to Upstate New York.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "I'll wind her every day.", "c": ["Real Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "They're full of tiny bones, so I want you to be careful.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "No, please. I don't care what you've done. You're still a decent, honorable man... But instead, I'm leaving town forever.", "c": ["Edna Krabappel", "Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Up yours, children.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Not if you called 'em stench blossoms.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Or crap weeds.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Not if they were called scum drops.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Hey, America- America.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "You haven't dealt with women for a long time, have you, Sergeant?", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "That child is the most disobedient, smart-alecky, middle-aged man in creation!", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Twelve, 11, 10. The man's a weenie.", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Twelve, 11, 10. The man's a weenie.", "c": ["Cashier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "But he was our weenie.", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "'Cause Jasper didn't wanna come by himself.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Hello, beautiful. [Snoring] / Hello, beautiful. [Snoring Resumes]", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "This is Armin's apartment... Armin's liquor, Armin's copy of Swank, Armin's frozen peas.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Can I see your copy of Swank, Armin?", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Yes, you can.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "But I'm a hero!", "c": ["Real Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "It's nice you're alive, but you're just not what I'm looking for in a son.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "I've never been happier or prouder to be Seymour Skinner... but these last few days as that hotheaded rogue Armin Tamzarian... have taught me a thing or two.", "c": ["Armin Tamzarian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Oh, no, we won't!", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "Oh, no, we won't! / Yes, Mother.", "c": ["Agnes", "Armin/Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 2, "et": "The Principal And The Pauper"}, {"t": "D'oh. [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "[Announcer] The Simpsons is filmed in front of a live studio audience.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Hey there, meathead. What are you watchir? Oh, I thought I'd check out the Warner Brothers Network.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "with nothing to show for it but four Emmys and a Peabody Award.", "c": ["Fyvush Finkel as Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Chan Ho, your mother Mia and I are getting a divorce. Chan Ho is over there. I am Chin Ho. Whoever you are. Just pass it along, kid.", "c": ["Fyvush Finkel as Krusty", "Child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "[Laughs] What a bad father.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "You'll practice me? What does that mean? Is it supposed to be some sort of threat?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? My dear Lisa, you are eight, and I am 10. And in my two extra years on this planet... I've learned a few tricks.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Ha-ha!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "if it'll make you feel better, I'll destroy something Bart loves. Hey! Don't worry, Son. If that bothers you, I'll destroy something Maggie loves.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Back then, The Artist Formerly Known as Prince was currently known as Prince.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Tracey Ullman was entertaining America... with songs, sketches and crudely drawn filler material.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson (flashback)"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Lousy traumatic childhood.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "I'm Principal Sinner- Skinner. [Laughing] Well, that's it. I've lost them forever.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Kids"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Well, that's it. I've lost them forever.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "and Jimbo, the school bully... who will administer noogies and nipple twisters. I look forward to whaling on all of you.", "c": ["Skinner", "Jimbo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Added extra clap. Not college material.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "[Shouts In Thick Scottish Accent] Can't you understand English?", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Come on, Maggie, it's Miller time. Yes, it's Miller time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Oh, my father gave me beer as a child... till I wrapped my little red wagon around a tree.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Let's never drink again. And we never did.", "c": ["Homer's family (flashback)", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Hey, she's just giving the public what it wants- Bart by the barrelful.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "\"F,\" Bart. And believe me, you'll be seeing plenty of'em.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Would you like to color something? I did.", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Brilliant. [Laughs] I have absolutely no idea what's going on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "[Screams] Burn it! Send it to hell!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "When a boy doesn't want to play catch with his old man, something is seriously wrong. I'll play catch with you, Son. Get the hell out. I'm gone.", "c": ["Homer", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "particularly one with as many flamboyantly homosexual tendencies as your son.", "c": ["School Psychologist"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Bart's gay? Bart? Uh-Whoo! Wrong file.", "c": ["Homer", "School Psychologist"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "that Bart must learn to be less of an individual... and more a faceless slug.", "c": ["School Psychologist"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Marge, he's five. His life is over. Lisa's the wave of the future.", "c": ["School Psychologist"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "[Man] Lisa Simpson has won the Nobel Rrize for kickboxing.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Over 75% of our graduates go on to first grade.", "c": ["Preschool Administrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "I'll give you 50 bucks. Seventy-five.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Excelente. Muchos gracias, \"se\u00f1orata.\" Sorry. [Chinese Accent] Aah, so.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "And sometimes I feel so smothered by this family... I just wanna scream till my lungs explode. [Gasps] I'll go start dinner now.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "The year is 19-aught-six. The president is the divine Miss Sarah Bernardt. And all over America... people were doir a dance called the Funky Grandpa.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "set way back four billion years ago... when the Earth was just a ball of molten lava.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Unless- Museums don't have foosball, do they?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "You lose, Michelangelo's David. Who's next? Me!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Balzac. No need for potty mouth just because you can't think of one.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Well, sir, I hate to be a suspicious Aloysius on you... but did you steal my air conditioner?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Well, I admit it looks bad, Flanders, but haven't you heard of... \"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone\"?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "So you see, children, there is hope for anyone. Even me? No.", "c": ["Teacher", "Student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "I wish I was interesting like you. [Imitates Fart] [Laughing] You're funny. I am? Yeah.", "c": ["Student", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Young man, I can assure you... my posterior is nothing more than flesh, bone and that metal plate I got in 'Nam.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Eat my shorts.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "You have 13 pickled eggs in this jar... and one cockroach.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Who are you, sweetheart, the health inspector? No, but I am. Uh, here, have a margarita. Uh, that's a parasol.", "c": ["Moe", "Lisa", "Health Inspector"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "\"Viomalin\"? \"Tubamaba\"? \"Oboemoboe\"? That one. Oh, \"saxomaphone.\"", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "To Lisa: Never forget your daddy loves- D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "What origin? We get 'em for $ 1.95 down at the Safeway.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Yeah, not to mention lookir like a pig, eatir like a pig- Don't forget the smell.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "\"Dear Lisa... may your new saxophone bring you years of d'oh!\"", "c": ["Lisa reading"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "Where's Maggie? I'm not kiddir. I can't see. My retinas have detached again.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "[Homer] Lisa! Enough \"saxomaphone\" already!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 3, "et": "Lisas Sax"}, {"t": "As the Fox censor... it's my job to protect you from reality. And thanks to my prudent editing, tonight's special Halloween show... has been rated TV 'G.'", "c": ["Fox Censor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "This means there will be no raunchy NBC-style sex... or senseless CBS-style violence.", "c": ["Fox Censor"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "What the fudge- Oh, for Pete's sake! Jiminy Christmas!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Tensions continue to mount between Springfield and France... over Mayor Quimby's now-famous frog's legs joke!", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "I stand by my ethnic slur! Do your worst, you filthy, pretentious savages!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "One minute they're kissing a woman's hand, the next, they're chopping off her head.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Fine, then don't use it. / I won't. / Good. / I know it's good. / So do I. / I'm happy for you. / You should be.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Now, this baby is called the 'Withstandinator.' It can take a six-megaton blast. No more, no less.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "I don't get it. I don't get it. I... don't get it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "who looks like 'ze' frog, eh?", "c": ["French Soldier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Calling home planet.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Sure, Kang, I'm writing it all down. [Chuckles] [Snorts]", "c": ["Kodos"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "I'll bet I get blamed for this. But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Oooh, I've wasted my life.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "It's green, moron! Earth to stupid guy. Hello?", "c": ["Road Rage Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Maybe a little friendly punching will move your ass.", "c": ["Road Rage Driver"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Ha! Still got it!", "c": ["Road Rage Driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "My God! Everyone's gone! Little Bart. Little Lisa. Little Marge. And the rest!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "No, no, no! I can't just wallow in sadness. It's time to laugh again!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "I'm the last man alive... and I can do everything I've always wanted!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Oh, Spade, why did you put Farley in charge of the bees?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Hey, buddy, down in front!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Uh, we don't like the word 'mutants,' Homer. We prefer 'freaks' or 'monsters.'", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Come on. We just wanna eat your skin.", "c": ["Mutant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Go to hell, cloaky!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "All the layers of lead paint in this house made it the perfect bomb shelter.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Kinda brings a tear to your eye socket. In the midst of all the killing and skin eating... somehow we forgot the love.", "c": ["Ned", "Mutant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Yeah, ain't that always the way? You get nuts with the skin eating.", "c": ["Mutant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "my family and I share your vision for a better- Now!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Friends with mutants. Right! Now that's the Marge I married.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "So, who wants to steal some Ferraris? - I do! I do! I do!", "c": ["Homer", "Family"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Wow, look at all these gadgets. If I were a nerd, I'd be in heaven.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "It passed noon while I was speaking, so that was technically accurate.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Nice try, Floyd, but you were designed for scrubbing. And scrubbing is what you shall do.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Um, two bucks. And it only transports matter.", "c": ["Homer", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Um, well, uh- I'll give you 35 cents. Sold! But I must warn you... this device carries a frighteningly high risk of catastrophic-", "c": ["Homer", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Good night, losers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Sorry, but this is a highly sophisti-ma-cated doo-wacky. If you don't use it responsibly, kablammo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Ow! Someone just punched me in the face! It was your mother!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Whoa, cool! Twice the pet and none of the mess.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Look, in the sky! It's Superfly! Oh, I'd be stupid not to do this!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "I was hoping to be humongous. Oh, well, at least I don't have two butts.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "I think that's Bart! The pants are a dead giveaway.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Oh, well, he may be a horrible freak, but he's still my son. I'm sure we'll grow to accept him in time.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "So then Lenny says, 'As if! Don't even go there, sister.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Oh, it'll turn up somewhere.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Help me! Help me! Sucker!", "c": ["Fly with Bart's head"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Mom, Dad, I'm the real Bart. That's just some overgrown fly with my body. Somebody listen to me!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Get him, boy! Smash that fly! Mush him up good! Nice work, Son.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Oh, no! And I let him use my toothbrush!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Oh, no! And I let him use my toothbrush!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Nobody likes a tattletale, honey. They're like this every rainy day.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "No, don't eat me! You don't know where I've been!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "That cost me 35 cents! You're just making it worse! I promise I won't hurt you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "You are all hereby found guilty of the crime of witchcraft. I sentence you hags to be burned at the stake... until you are deemed fit to reenter society.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "If they're really witches, why don't they use their powers to escape? That sounds like witch talk to me, Lisa.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! I accuse Goodie Flanders! I accuse Goodie Badwife. Uh, we killed her on Sunday.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "She put a spell on me! Must... drop... pantaloons.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Ha! Then how come your laundry is always much whiter than mine?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Okay, here's how the process works. You sit on the broom and we shove you off the cliff. If you're innocent, you will fall to an honorable Christian death.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "At that point, you will report back here for torture and beheading. Tough, but fair.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Doesn't the Bible say, 'Judge not lest ye be judged'?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "The Bible says a lot of things. Shove her!", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Hey, you destroyed my turnip crop. No, that was gophers. Impossible. We burned all the gophers.", "c": ["Villager", "Lisa", "Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Impossible. We burned all the gophers.", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "This needs more eye of newt. You always want more eye of newt. If it were up to you, the brew would be nothing but newt eyes.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "If I knew you were coming, I'd have baked a cat.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "His name is Homer.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["running_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "We're both 35. We've already gone way past our life expectancy.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Hmm. Eat their children. Geez, we were just gonna swipe their shoes. But a good idea is a good idea.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Are you sure you ladies wouldn't prefer some gingerbread children instead? They're boneless.", "c": ["Maude"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "You know, scaring people into giving us treats is fun. We should do this every year.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Yargh. And that's the story of the very first caramel cod. I mean, Halloween.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "Dad, that's our house.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Viii"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Hey, Dad, how come you've never taken us to see a soccer game? I don't know.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 4.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "You'll see all your favorite soccer stars like Ariaga, Ariaga II, Bariaga, Aruglia, and Pizzoza! Oh, I never heard of those people.", "c": ["Announcer", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "This match will determine once and for all which nation is the greatest on Earth - Mexico or Portugal! Can we go, Dad? Please, Dad? Yes! Yes! Oh, God, yes!", "c": ["Announcer", "Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Oh, I'll kill myself if Portugal doesn't win.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "It's hard to believe this used to be an internment camp.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Yo, paella man, wing one up here!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Hey, look, it's Pel\u00e9! Pel\u00e9 is king of the soccer field. To be king of your kitchen, use Crestfield Wax Paper.", "c": ["Homer", "Pel\u00e9"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Boring! Come on, you schnorrers! Do something!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Halfback passes to the center. Back to the wing. Back to the center. Center holds it. Holds it. Holds it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Oh, that's it. You're dead, pal! Hey, now, that's uncalled for. Shut your hole, Skinner!", "c": ["Homer", "Principal Skinner", "Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "You call this a soccer riot? Come on, boys. Let's take 'em to school! Oi! Oi! Oi!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Homer, we've got to get out of here! Oh! But I wanna do some rioting. Jobbers cobknots, ya mucker! All done.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "What began as a traditional soccer riot has escalated into a citywide orgy of destruction. Reacting swiftly, Mayor Quimby has declared mob rule.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Ex-Ex-Excuse me, sir. I think you've got my TV. Sir?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "If someone tries to get in here, my burglar alarm will let us know. Watch the fish, Marge.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "All the previous owners of this house could still be in here somewhere.", "c": ["Security System Salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "I recommend sealing off every door and window with bulletproof Lucite. Wouldn't we all suffocate? Well, I should hope not. Let's get that, the suffocation thing.", "c": ["Security System Salesman", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "$500? Aw, forget it. But surely you can't put a price on your family's lives. I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are.", "c": ["Homer", "Security System Salesman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "I'd like to buy your deadliest gun, please. Aisle 6, next to the sympathy cards.", "c": ["Homer", "Gun Store Clerk"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Careful there, Annie Oakley. I don't have to be careful. I got a gun.", "c": ["Gun Store Clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Loudener.", "c": ["Gun Store Clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Holster. Oh, yeah. Bandolier. Baby. Silencer. Mm-hmm. Loudener. Oh! Speed-cocker. Ooh! I like the sound of that.", "c": ["Gun Store Clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "And this is for shooting down police helicopters. Oh, I don't need anything like that... yet.", "c": ["Gun Store Clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Five days? But I'm mad now! I'd kill you if I had my gun!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Lousy big shot. Thinks he's so big 'cause he's got a lot of guns. If he didn't have any guns, I'd show him a thing or two.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Dad, it's 3:00 a.m.! Can't you mutter in your room? Marge kicked me out.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Oh! How am I supposed to last five days without shooting something?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "According to your background check, you've been in a mental institution. Yeah. Frequent problems with alcohol. [Chuckling] Yeah. You beat up President Bush. Former president.", "c": ["Gun Store Clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Potentially dangerous? Relax. That just limits you to three handguns or less. Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Homer", "Gun Store Clerk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "It's a handgun. Isn't it great? This is the trigger, and this is the thing you point at whatever you want to die.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Don't you remember when Maggie shot Mr. Burns? I thought Smithers did it. That would have made a lot more sense.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Dad, can I borrow the gun tomorrow? I wanna scare that old security guard at the bank. Only if you clean your room.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could just walk in here anytime he wants and start shoving you around. Do you want that? Huh? Do you? No.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "A gun is not a weapon, Marge! It's a tool, like a butcher knife or a harpoon or, uh, an alligator.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Assault weapons have gotten a lot of bad press lately, but they're manufactured for a reason - to take out today's modern super animals, such as the flying squirrel and the electric eel.", "c": ["NRA Instructor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Well, it could've been a real ugly situation, but I managed to shoot him in the spine. Yeah, I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "It seems to me if a gun can protect something as important as a bar, it's good enough to protect my family.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Don't shoot. Just take the money and get out. What? Oh, Apu, I would never- Or would I?", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "I'll rob the Kwik-E-Mart. All right, put your- D'oh! Oh, well, I'll rob it next time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Can you help me get my ball down from the roof, Dad? Sure thing, honey.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "See you in hell, dinner plate.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Homer, I told you this morning, no guns at the dinner table. You said the breakfast table. It's the same table!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Listen, if it'll make you feel any better, I'll put the safety on. Whoops! Guess it was already on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "No offense, Mom, but that was pretty cool.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "You said there'd be Fudgeicles, Bart. Where's the Fudgeicles? First, it's Fudgsicle. And I know they're up here. I just need a better foothold.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "You said there'd be 'Fudgeicles,' Bart. Where's the 'Fudgeicles'? - First, it's Fudgsicle. And I know they're up here.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "And the next marksman is William Tell, Jr.! Jinx!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "I put it in a safe place, Marge. I mean, what are the odds the boy would look in the vegetable crisper?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "But, Marge, I swear to you, I never thought you'd find out!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Do you know how to cook dinner? Do I?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Try the Sleep-Eazy Motel. I woke up there once. Seemed nice.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Hey, this TV's not broken. It's just unplugged. What the-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "I don't see what's wrong with this one. Oh.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Looking for a good time, sailor? I certainly am. No, you're not! He's really not.", "c": ["Selma", "Homer", "Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Homer, you use your gun as a can opener? I use it for everything. Watch me turn on the TV.", "c": ["NRA Member", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Are you some kind of moron? Yeah, but- Hey, yutz. Guns aren't toys.", "c": ["NRA Member", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "They're for family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals, and keeping the king of England out of your face.", "c": ["NRA Member"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "I'd like to order a wake-up call, please. 3:00 a.m. Uh, for every room except this one.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Hey, is that a camera in the ceiling? No. Go back to sleep.", "c": ["Homer", "Male Voice"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Marge? Sorry. Marge? Sorry. Marge? Vote Quimby. Sorry.", "c": ["Homer", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "What's the point of having a gun for protection if you've got no one to protect?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "Freeze, bad guy! Vote Quimby! Okay, man. Don't shoot. Chill.", "c": ["Homer", "Mayor Quimby", "Snake"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "I know I said that, but what I secretly meant was- Yoink!", "c": ["Homer", "Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "I felt this incredible surge of power, like God must feel when he's holding a gun.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 5, "et": "The Cartridge Family"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Well, your cholesterol level is lethally high, Homer... but I'm more concerned about your gravy level.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Now wait a second. You doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "[Laughing] Well, you're a little confused. Oh, confused, would we?", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "You can't tell me what to do. [Tone] - [Higher-pitched Tone] - Nothing yet. - [Very High-pitched Tone] - [Both Screaming]", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "I'm not talking about some sort of charity rock concert.", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "[Chuckles] Serious injuries. Oh, that's gold.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Mom, Mom. I stepped in a bear trap. Sounds like you need some... first aid.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "I loved your last McBain movie, Mr. Wolfcastle. Quit stalling, fatty.", "c": ["Homer", "Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Come on! Even my fat mama can touch her toes.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Hey, Bart, we wear the same underpants.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Hey, tubby, want another Pop-Tart, tubby?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "I'm comfortable with who I am. You're a disgrace to this family.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I could get seriously hurt. Then it's settled.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Team sports will keep you away from temptations like rock music and girls. [Both] Yea!", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Rod Flanders", "Todd Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Ah, can't I just have the surgery?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Sure. One helmet coming up. I was thinking more like protection for... down there. Oh. Why didn't you say so? Knee pads.", "c": ["Store Clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Look, I want a cup. Cup. Could you spell that? C-U-P. I wanna C-U- Oh, my God! [Groans]", "c": ["Homer", "Store Clerk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Okay, Milhouse, let's try out the new cup. [Grunts] [Chuckles] Again.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Uh, Ralph, that's a basketball.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Ralph, you'll be on special teams. I'm special.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "[Groans] Careful, Bart. You'll break my calculator, by which I mean my head.", "c": ["Martin Prince"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "After all, what civilized person would play a game with the skin of an innocent pig?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Well, actually, Lisa, these balls are synthetic. And for every ball we buy, a dollar goes to Amnesty International.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Who are we? [All] The Wildcats! Who are we gonna beat? The Wildcats!", "c": ["Team", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Hey, Flanders, you're the worst coach this team has ever had! He's the only coach this team has ever had. And the season hasn't even started yet.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, he's... wearing that hat like an idiot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "You know, Homer, it's very easy to criticize. Fun too.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Okilly-dokilly! Let's put on our game faces.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Give me the ball and your lunch money.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Oops.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "I've been carried out of Moe's like that hundreds of times.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Now I'm not the type to have a grudge for no reason. Sir, if I could just break in for a moment. [Homer] Yes, Roy. Do you have a question for Sandy Koufax? Yes. Mr. Koufax, don't you think Flanders is a big jerk?", "c": ["Homer", "Radio Host"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "What? Flanders! What? What is it? Game's out there! [Laughing] Made you look.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "They're just words, Neddie. Words can't hurt you. Ow! That's it!", "c": ["Maude Flanders", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Dad, that was really mean. I know, sweetie. And I got him right in the- Uh-oh!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "it seems like anyone with half a brain could coach better than you. Uh-huh? Half a brain, huh? Well, you know what? It sounds like you just volunteered.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Then why are you running the obstacle course? Are you wearing my self-defense whistle?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Wipe that smile off your face. What did I do?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Well, if you know a better way for me to live through my son, I'd like to hear it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Just don't screw up like you always do.", "c": ["Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Ah. That's what I get for having faith in ya.", "c": ["Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not gonna make the same mistake. From now on, I'm gonna be kinder to my son and meaner to my dad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "[Thinking] It's gotta be a trick. Run like the wind.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Bart didn't get cut. What a surprise.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "He calls me 'Coach' just like everyone else. Which he'll be doing as our new starting quarterback!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Oh, Rod, you don't have to. You're cut.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Since your mother yelled at me. Now how about that hug?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Not so easy to keep your mouth shut now, is it, Flanders?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Excellent ploy, Son. You panicked, but you didn't lose your cool.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Give me a 'B'? I won't give you a 'B,' but I'll tear you a new 'A.'", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "- Give me a 'B'? - I won't give you a 'B,' but I'll tear you a new 'A.'", "c": ["Homer", "Crowd member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "You ruined our undefeated season! You ruined everything, ruiner!", "c": ["Martin Prince"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "You're going to heaven.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Excuse me, son. Wow! Joe Namath.", "c": ["Joe Namath", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "It was just vapor lock. Remember what I told you.", "c": ["Joe Namath", "Woman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Well, I know you don't want to disappoint Dad... but how do you feel about lying to him? Good.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Oh, your mother's not pregnant, is she?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Come on, guys. We can't play without Bart. He's the heart of this team. - No, I'm not. I suck. - It's true. He does.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Team"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "You don't get it, do you? I don't want to be your stupid quarterback! I quit!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Well, I got news for you, mister! You can't quit! You're cut!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Little guy's just got a mind of his own. - Mom, please! We're eating. - Well, at least I'm making conversation.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "It must have been you. You've quit every job you've ever had- cop, pretzel vender, church counselor, professional gambler.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Well, I just wanted to tell you I'm a big quitter too. And I quit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "[Marge] Homer, Mr. Burns can't see you winking. So- [Screams]", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Ah, I don't want to bother Mom at work.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Such a product does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "I was blinded to your stinky performance.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Okay, half of you vibrate that way, two of you fall down... Nelson, you just spin around in a circle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "You know, we had a lot of fun tonight. But there's nothing funny about... vapor lock.", "c": ["Joe Namath"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "All of those people are cut. You're cut too, shushy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 6, "et": "Bart Star"}, {"t": "Our top story- Punks, and lots of'em. And all to raise money for the Springfield Fire Department... to buy a fire engine so they can get to fires.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Lazy bums. Yeah. Why don't we buy 'em mink stoles while we're at it?", "c": ["Audience members"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "This sexy fellow describes himself as 'a big, thirsty teddy bear.' Say hello to Barney Gumble!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Okay. Now, what am I bid? Hey! Now I got zero. I got zero. I got no bid here. I got zero. I'm standir at zero. Anybody wanna go higher than zero? I got zero right now.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "I got nada. I got zilch. I got bubkes.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "This lot is withdrawn. [Belches]", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Come on! He likes sunsets. What more do you want?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Yarr! I'm not attractive.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Our last bachelor likes women who take their clothes off for money.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Why do we have to stand here? This is so humiliatir.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "And in my leisure time, I like to build furniture... and then to have a discussion about where it could be placed in a room.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "You better have enough left to pay my alimony, Luann.", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Sold to the five desperate chicks!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "All Kwik-E-Mart managers must be skilled in the deadly arts.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Anybody up for some clog dancing? Why don't you try and stop me?", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Boy, you hate lotus flowers too. Don't get me started on lotus flowers.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Ten goats and an electric fan? You call that a dowry?", "c": ["Apu's father"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Okay. We will throw in a textile factory... but only because Manjula's getting on in years.", "c": ["Manjula's father"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Then just tell her you're already married. No. I cannot lie to my mother.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Yes, that is right, Mother. I already got married.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "It worked. It worked. The lie has set me free!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "I'm not the type to kiss and tell, sir. But listen to this.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "But don't you see? She is here to meet my wife. The wife that I told her I had. I do not have a wife!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Then maybe you shouldn't have told her you did.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Well, you could always move into my house... and tell your mom that Marge is your wife.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Is it me, or do your plans always involve some horrible web of lies? It's you.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "It is a very reasonable request that can easily be granted... in a timely and efficient- Let's go!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "That Yodel was so good. I wish I was eatir it right now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Marge, I need a small favor. For the next few days, will you pretend to be Apu's wife? What?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Honey, I am in my home.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Can you feel the love?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "I have come to see the woman for whom Apu was willing... to disgrace his family and spit on his culture. Ah. Here I am.", "c": ["Mother", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Apu, I'm sure you wanna get upstairs and fix that broken toilet... before Marge yells at you again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "And having met you... let me say how deeply, deeply disappointed I am.", "c": ["Mother"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "You know that one out of every 25 arranged marriages ends in divorce.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "You remember your father, Apu?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "We're scammir an old lady at my house, and I need a place to hide out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "With the what now?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Baloney! You came here to put me in a home. You're already in a home.", "c": ["Grandpa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Abraham Simpson. Cornelius Talmadge.", "c": ["Grandpa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Supper at 4:00? Whoo-hoo! What a sweet deal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Hey. They got chairs with wheels. And here I am using my legs like a sucker.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "What would you like to know? What's the deal with that dot? Can you see out of it? Does it change colors when you're ticked off?", "c": ["Apu", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "As long as you have absolutely no follow-up questions- Yes. Yes, we are.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Eat my dust!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Mmm! Who knew that Lay's made liquid potato chips? I can't suck just one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "It's like being a baby, only you're old enough to appreciate it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "He lied to his mother. Tsk, tsk, tsk.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "You could fake your own death. Would you shut up? All you need is a car bomb and- I can't believe you don't shut up!", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "What's a castrati? I don't know, but I'm sure it's spicy.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Booze, booze and more booze. Nothir like a depressant to chase the blues away.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Hold on there. I'm countir on that.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Actually, it's more like 12. No. I'm so stupid. Seven. It's seven hours. You have seven hours. See? Seven.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "I should send you to St. Louis! No! No, he's not won'th it.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Mmm, number 6.", "c": ["Apu", "Airport worker"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Nah. Just your screwy country.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Well, Christ is Christ. Plus, I consulted a Hindu Web site.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "You did. His name was Stampy. You loved him. Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "I am the god Ganesh! This wedding angers me! All will die unless it is stopped.", "c": ["Homer as Ganesh"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Uh, the answer to all three is 'fried green tomatoes.'", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Who knows? We can always get divorced. Of course. God bless America.", "c": ["Manjula", "Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Dad, those peanuts aren't for you. They're for the elephant. Screw him!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "Apartment? Oh, no. No, no. You must buy me a house. And you're getting a haircut. Oh. Got you.", "c": ["Manjula", "Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 7, "et": "The Two Mrs Nahasapeemapetilons"}, {"t": "we arrest them and beat them to the full extent of the law", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "So the hook is baited. Nice metaphor, Eddie. Yeah, good work, Eddie.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Eddie", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "You're the most paranoid family I've ever been affiliated with", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "I call brutality on you", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "235 unpaid parking tickets totaling $175", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "I didn't like it. The mast had termites. Why would a motorboat have a mast? Because! The thing, it was- Shut up!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "They say the air conditioner will be more powerful than a million hydrogen bombs", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Fossils, schmossils. Bones, schmones.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "My attorney, Lionel Hutz, calls your attention to Municipal Code 147-C", "c": ["Lisa", "Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Mr. Hutz, we won. We?", "c": ["Lisa", "Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "All honor students will be rewarded with a trip to an archeological dig! Conversely, all detention students will be punished with a trip to an archeological dig.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Prinskipper Skippal Prinnipple Skipper", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "That's your trowel blade, Ralph. It fell off the handle. And I found it!", "c": ["Teacher", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "A bottle cap, a shoe, a bar of gold- anything!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "from the looks of it, I'd say this fellow died from causes unknown", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Speaking from a strictly medical point of view, that ain't right", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Well, if you're so sure what it ain't, how about tellin' us what it am?", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "a Neanderthal who got bitten by some angry fish", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "It sounds like you're strainin' to do some explainin'.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "everyone's heard of angels, but who's ever heard of a 'Neanderthal'?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Oh, fiddle-faddle. Everyone knows our mutants have flippers.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Smithers, use the amnesia ray. You mean, the revolver, sir? Precisely.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "I'll need to refer to the case of Finders versus Keepers", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "So long, suckers!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "That's what they said about this Billy Beer, smarty-pants.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Get your own angel, you moocher!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm trying to eat here! Beat it, peg leg!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "If you look carefully, you'll notice I never once used the word 'angel'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "I didn't become a scientist for financial gain. Whatever little money you have will be just fine.", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.43, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Can I use your bathroom?", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "No one gets into heaven without a glow stick", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Ach! Those morons make me so angry. Maybe so. But I'd appreciate it if you didn't call them morons. But they are morons.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Everyone knows leprechauns are extinct", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Oh! I'm paralyzed. I just hope medical science can cure me", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?", "c": ["Robot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Hey, she's gonna smash the angel! Somebody stop her!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "What the hell are we gonna do with 10,000 angel ashtrays? I could take up smoking. You damn well better.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Bart, strip down to your skeleton", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Give her a nice cell- something in C Block", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Religion must stay 500 yards from Science at all times", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "I'm scared, Daddy. Too scared to even wet my pants. It's okay, Son. Just relax, and it'll come.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "This doomsday warning has me just a smidge twitterpated", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Well, you might say we're going to the best steakhouse in the whole universe. So we're not going to Black Angus.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "We did it. We beat cancer", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "The end of high prices!", "c": ["Mall Angel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Out of my way, shorty!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be honest with you, Lisa. I never did the tests", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "Well, it was just so loud... and- [Laughs] thanks for squeezing back.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 8, "et": "Lisa The Skeptic"}, {"t": "It's Wednesday, Homer. - [Screams] Work!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "I love these real Saturdays. They're so relaxing. Not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Oh, that. [Laughing] [Choking, Relieved Sigh]", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Open a window. - [Groans]", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "We could find the drug boat of our dreams! I don't want a drug boat. Well, I bet there's drug dresses and drug vacuum cleaners too.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Then what happened to Johnny D.? He forgot to lock 'em. Now, what am I bid? - One kilo. - Sold.", "c": ["Auctioneer", "Bidder"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "You bought a car without consulting me? I don't recall being consulted when you bought that hat. - I found this hat. - Then what are you complaining about? You got yours.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "I'm not getting back in this car until you drive like a sane person. - [Tires Screeching] - Okay. Bye. Love ya.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "You see, the law business is a little slow... and since most of my clients wind up losing their houses... this was a natural move for me.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Yes, the money is good. But the beauty is you get to stay in the house until it's sold.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "What is that, a six-barrel Holley carb? - You betcha. - Edelbrock intakes? - Nothir but. - Myohoff lifters? - Oh, yeah. - I made that last one up. - I see.", "c": ["Snake", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Mom. We'll help you study. Of course, we'll have to cut back on our own homework.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "So, you're married, and you're looking for your first house, Mr. and Mrs. - Superman. - Oh! Don't listen to my husband. He's just an idiot.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "I'm a veterinarian, and I need to keep lots of sick animals in my house. - Is that permitted? - Not in my damn house.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Well, this neighborhood is zoned R-3... which allows dogs, cats, phone-answering monkeys...", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "When I had to learn about the Magna Can'ta, I made up a song.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "You're all nuts.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Yar! I nailed that one about houseboats. Did you?", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "You didn't do anything. - I like being thanked.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "And 42 of those years are Gill's! Marge, it's a real pleasure. You got any leads? I need some leads. Please, help me.", "c": ["Gill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Hi, Marge! Stay off the west side.", "c": ["Cookie Kwan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "A headset telephone? I thought those only existed in the movies.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "I had been working on the Whitman place for 21 years.", "c": ["Gill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Are you guys talking about the west side? No, Cookie. I swear it. I'm scared of you.", "c": ["Cookie Kwan", "Agent"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Seat belts. [Scoffs] They kill more people than they save. That's not true. You're thinking of air bags.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Gee, that picture makes your butt look big. I thought so too, but they said it sells. Works for the Lumber King.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Lumber. We need lumber.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "What? No. Why? What? Why? What have you heard? Are you implying I'm in some sort of financial trouble? - No. - Well, I am. Let me have that card.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Why, isn't this kitchen horribly cramped? [Laughing] Why, yes, it is. Well, I suppose we could get used to it. Yeah, but you shouldn't have to settle.", "c": ["Client", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "If you ever need a prescription, no questions asked- [Clicks Tongue, Laughing]", "c": ["Client"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Actually, this is our first time. And I didn't really care for it. Oh, well, then you have to ask yourself, is this the right house for you?", "c": ["Client", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "My high school sweetheart was killed in a drag racing accident. - Come on. It'll be fun. - That's what Debbie Sue said.", "c": ["Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Hey, that smells like regular. She needs premium, dude! Premium, dude!", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "The right house is the house that's for sale. The right person is anyone.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "I'd say it's awfully cozy. - [Marge] That's dilapidated. - Rustic. - That house is on fire. - Motivated seller.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "But you'd better sell something. Because cubicles are for closers, Marge.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "As a spineless, potato-cooking housewife who can't compete in the real world? [All] Mm-hmm. Well, I can too compete.", "c": ["Marge", "Family"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Please don't tell anyone how I live.", "c": ["Gill"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "It's sure built solid. The kids could scream bloody murder, and no one would hear.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna spill my guts. I love it to death.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "That's good enough for me! [Screams] Purple drapes! All my life I've wanted purple drapes! [Screams]", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Boo-yah! Wow, you must've told a whopper to unload that death trap.", "c": ["Nick Callahan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "What'd you use, Marge? The old buff and bluff? The Hail Murray? The Susquehanna Shuffle?", "c": ["Agent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Just because everyone who lived in that house was hacked to bits... doesn't mean the Flanders will be.", "c": ["Agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Baldy boy hits wire, head comes off... L'il Bandit rolls to a gentle stop. Everybody wins.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Now that you mention it, we could use- - It was just an expression.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "we just wanna get to our new house and rest in peace.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "This is my car! And I'm not fat! It's glandular!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "We were painting Todd's room red- pretty messy work- and then we came out here to take a break.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "This is Wiggum reporting a 318- waking a police officer.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "And this is the butler's pantry, where Mrs. Astor concealed herself. And right here's where they found the torso heap- in front of our very own fireplace!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Look, Daddy. I'm the jealous jockey. - I'm a torso.", "c": ["Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Uh, Marge- [Chuckles] you still got that deposit check?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "Lucky thing we landed on this bubble wrap. - [Popping] - Hey, quit hoggir. - Oh, I'm badly hurt.", "c": ["Homer", "Snake"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "[Laughing] You're one of a kind, Marge... and nobody deserves this more than you.", "c": ["Lionel Hutz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "$300 for doing nothing? I feel like such a crook. Don't worry. Gets easier every week.", "c": ["Marge", "Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 9, "et": "Realty Bites"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Stupid heater! Don't make me come in there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "You know me, Marge. I crave the hustle and bustle.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Oh, Santa's got a little trick up his sleeve.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Sorry, these are for display only. This has been recalled. We're out of these. Register 9 is now closed.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Christmas trees for the girls and bloody spearheads for Bart.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "That old aluminium one was so fake. I couldn't agree more. From now on, it's plastic all the way.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "It's 'craptacular.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Mucous 'pukeous.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "The Indians used to drink water to wake up early for their attacks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "It's always about the Indians, isn't it, Lise?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Dear Santa, if you bring me lots of good stuff... I promise not to do anything bad... between now and when I wake up, amen. Ow! I'll kill you.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Give me a 'P'! 'P'! Go! Go! Go! 'P'! 'P'! 'P'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Worked like a charm. [Groaning] [Toilet Flushing]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Oh, Aunt Selma. Always good for a fin.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Oh, I knew Santa wouldn't have time to check that list twice.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Who designed this house?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Snow covers all. Pure, white snow.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Well, he had a glass eye, a wooden leg... a big scar on his cheek. Anything unusual? Hooks for hands, uh- Oh, he was wearing a striped convict's shirt. He was carrying a big sack with a dollar sign on it.", "c": ["Bart", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Classic burglar.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "God hates us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "The birth of Santa.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "But they'll have to be pretty damn miserable to make me happy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Come on, kids. Pretend we got new cross-country skis.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "That's not as fun as it looks. Nothing could be as fun as that looks.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I can't feel nothing below my chin.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society. Yeah. You're right, Moe. You're always Moe.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "You take that back, Barney. No, he's right, Homer. Stay out of this, old man.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney", "Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Aw, that's my girl. I love you, Marjorie. Yeah, she's quite a gal. You shut up.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "no Cajun sausage for little Homer.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I hope you'll all choke just a little bit.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Aw, Marge, I don't wanna hear any more about that silver polish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Well, we got a 30-footer, so you can have the top of ours.", "c": ["Neighbor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Please, I don't deserve this.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "15,000 Missoulians? Holy 'schlamola'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "What are you gonna do with all that 'kablingy'?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I'd kiss you, but Doctor says I'm sick.", "c": ["Old man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "What a deal. I'd be a sucker not to get it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry. I jabbed you with my pen. Ow! You're still doing it. Yeah, I know.", "c": ["Car Salesman", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Oh, will this Christmas never end?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Lisa? Bail out!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Well... at least the burglar's having a merry Christmas.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Your hands are too weak.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "But one thing's for sure, you do exist.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Strong words. Strong, bewildering words.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I destroyed the presents. Then I buried the evidence. And I acted alone.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Yeah, Jesus must be spinning in his grave.", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Yeah, Jesus must be spinning in his grave.", "c": ["Crowd member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. Shoo, you lousy freeloaders. Come back when you get some parents.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "In my long career, I've seen some pretty shabby things... but this putrid fraud 'out-stinks' them all.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I think they're running out of tomatoes. Yeah, but they still got plenty of pumpkins.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Relax, Marge. This will all blow over.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Whatever.", "c": ["Sean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "A family could get used to being shunned, huh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Now turn your desk around and stop learning.", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "All the way.", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Then while we're gone, you take our snacks. Just like you took our money.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "'You'll all get yours in hell... you lying, thieving' blanking blankers- 'Sincerely, Moe.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Aren't we forgetting something, Marge? You were down $5,200 dollars. But Mr. Trebek- I asked you before the game... if you knew the rules, and you said you did.", "c": ["Alex Trebek", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I asked you before the game... if you knew the rules, and you said you did. Judges. Run, Mom.", "c": ["Alex Trebek", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "She ain't gettin' the home version.", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Consider your debt repaid, neighbor. And then some.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "But we would've had each other anyway. Yeah, plus lots of other stuff.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Besides, it's mine. Yoink!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 10, "et": "Miracle On Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Marge, stop this crazy thing!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Well, they put us on the Waiting to Exhale waiting list... but they said don't hold your breath.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "A Clint Eastwood, Lee Marvin shoot-'em-up western! [Both Groaning]", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Joshua Logan's Paint Your Wagon. With blood, I bet. [Both Laughing]", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "[Shrieks] They're singing! They're singing, Marge. Why aren't they killing each other?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Yeah, their guns are right there. Wait, wait, wait. Here comes Lee Marvin. Thank God. He's always drunk and violent.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "You missed a spot. Well, grab a brush and join in.", "c": ["Lee Marvin character", "Other character"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Mmm. Who knew that Lee Marvin could do such marvelous splits?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Oh, why did they have to screw up a perfectly serviceable wagon story... with all that fruity singing?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Singing is the lowest form of communication. Homer, you sing all the time. No, I don't. I hate to rhyme.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Hello! Human Fly here. Come on! I stayed up all night dyeing my underwear.", "c": ["Human Fly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. There's nothing in here about the Be Sharps! Come back here! Ha-ha!", "c": ["Homer", "Newsboy"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "It's been done.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Get the tear gas.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "[Sucking] [Coughing] Your turn, Bart.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "What's it like, Bart? Bart? Bart? [Babbling Gibberish] Give me that!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Okay. We're young, rich and full of sugar. What'll we do? Let's go crazy Broadway-style!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "New York is thataway, man. Thanks, kid.", "c": ["Random character", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Mmm! Free goo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "I don't know where you magic pixies came from... but I like your pixie drink.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "[Apu Crying]", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Hey, he's not happy at all! He lied to us through song!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "I hate when people do that!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "I really like the vest. I gathered, yeah.", "c": ["Smithers", "Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Oh, I knew I should have shut that window.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "[Laughter] [Chuckles] Mule.", "c": ["Townspeople", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Now wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea, and we'll vote for it.", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Monorail! Mono- D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "And now please rise for our opening hymn... uh, 'In the Garden of Eden'... by I. Ron Butterfly.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. This sounds like rock and/or roll.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Well, let's get eatin'. [Gunshots] All right, all right. Sorry.", "c": ["Unknown character", "Snake"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Yo! I told you to stop the music, dudes. I'm serious!", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "Okay, I hear that. I hear that, dudes! You too, Gracie music dude!", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 11, "et": "All Singing All Dancing"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Ha-ha!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "The experts say that if you want an animal to do something... you should do it yourself first to show 'em how. I'm not going to the bathroom in the backyard.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Scoffs] Sorry, Your Majesty.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Rattles, Hisses] [Screams] - Aaah! - Oh, Ned, I'm so sorry.", "c": ["Snake", "Ned", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- Allowance day. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. - You don't deserve an allowance.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "That's a good suggestion, Mom. - We'll take it under advisement.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Nelson] Ha-", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Gasps] Lisa, chop off my hands.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "No! Then who'd chop off my hands?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "All right, you chop my hands halfway off, then I'll still have enough strength to chop-", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- What are you doing inside? - Work was hard, so we quit.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Hard work made us quit.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Okay. We get our room and board free anyway. - And Santy Claus provides the rest.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "It's carnival time! Here's money, kids. Take what you need.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "I wanna go on the Yard Work Simulator!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "But when I ask you to do yard work- Oh.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Heart condition? Get out of here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "You had a quadruple bypass. You nearly died. Don't you remember?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Obviously I don't.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- No offense. - None taken.", "c": ["Marge", "Cooder"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "He's not just some guy, Marge. He's a carny, and part of a noble tradition. Carnies built this country- the carnival part of it anyway.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "And though they may be ratlike in appearance... they are truly kings among men.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- Okay, let's go, fatty. - Yes, sir.", "c": ["Cooder", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- [All] Ow! - [Homer] Ow! My heart!", "c": ["Crowd", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Do you dare enter the Screamatorium of Dr. Frightmarestein?", "c": ["Carny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Woman Screaming] [Tape Rewinding] - [Button Clicks] - [Woman Screaming]", "c": ["Attraction"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "This isn't very scary.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Um, I think that one's broken.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "That was just confusing.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Sputtering] Why does this always happen when I stand here?", "c": ["Dunk Tank Victim"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "What is it about this exact spot? [Sputtering] It's happening again!", "c": ["Dunk Tank Victim"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Hey, saw-top. Want your dad to win you a TV?", "c": ["Cooder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Ooh, that was close. Wow. What a scam.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Aw, listen, fella. I got a son of my own. Here.", "c": ["Cooder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Sniffles] A novelty comb. Kings among men.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "and was the first automobile to come with Fahrvergn\u00fcgen.", "c": ["Carny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Wow, it's 'Euro-rific.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "There are some who say Hitler's skeleton is in the trunk. Others say just a spare tire. I'm a busy man, so I haven't checked yet.", "c": ["Carny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Hmm. One of these must activate the flamethrower.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Out of my way! I'm Hitler!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "You wrecked Hitler's car. What did he ever do to you?", "c": ["Carny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Hey, I thought I was your main attraction.", "c": ["Humphrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Hey, come on. He doesn't have any money. Look at his clothes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "You gonna get drunk and start a lot of trouble? - Sure, anything you want.", "c": ["Cooder", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "We just saw the most amazing camel. It was wearing a hat.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Son, if you don't finish your cotton candy... you won't get your snow cone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Hey, you lost your money fair and square. I didn't scam nobody.", "c": ["Cooder"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Well, in that case, let me show you how I scammed you.", "c": ["Cooder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- Ugh. - Oh, don't worry. That's just to scare off thieves.", "c": ["Lisa", "Spud"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "That's the carny code. - Did you hear that, Bart? The carny code.", "c": ["Cooder", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "So what's our first job, huh? Test the roller coaster? - Fry up some cheese? - Hose down the freaks?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Maybe if you didn't go to the bathroom so much, you wouldn't be so small.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "All right. Now, this geek bit is pretty straightforward. You just bite the heads off the chickens, take a bow.", "c": ["Carny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- Uh, Bart? - Yeah, Dad? - Do I like chicken? - Does it matter?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- you're the luckiest chicken in the world. - [Squawking]", "c": ["Homer", "Chicken"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "You see, the trick here is the rings won't fit over the good prizes.", "c": ["Cooder"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "slang from the '30s that no one uses anymore. - Like 'rubes'? - Now you're on the trolley.", "c": ["Cooder", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Uh, yes. How do we handle refunds? - Uh, I'm gonna give this to you.", "c": ["Homer", "Cooder"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Lookee, lookee. Hey, hey. Wocka, wocka. I got rings and you want 'em.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Hey, there's a sucker.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Get on the trolley.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Hey, hot pockets. Win something for your girlfriend?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "All right, Simpson, be honest with me. Is it actually possible to win this game? - If I like you, it is.", "c": ["Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "You're failing, Seymour. What is it about you and failure?", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "If only we weren't tied down with a family.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "where people throw ducks at balloons and nothing's the way it seems.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Laughs] And how.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Uh, let me put it this way. I'm looking for my friend Bill. - Have you seen any Bills around here? - No. He's Bart.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Listen carefully, and watch me wink as I speak, okay? - Okay. - The guy I'm really looking for-wink- is Mr. Bribe-wink, wink.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "It's a ringtoss game.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Why didn't you bribe 'em? - I was trying to, but the opportunity never came up.", "c": ["Cooder", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Did you call me, Spud? [Groans]", "c": ["Fantastic Dan"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Look at 'em, Bart. If a carny can wind up homeless, it can happen to anyone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- Why did you shudder just now, Mom? - I don't know.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "It must have taken you years to win all this stuff.", "c": ["Cooder"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "I can uninge all my joints at once. - [Bones Cracking]", "c": ["Spud"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- Doing anything tonight, blue eyes? - Ew.", "c": ["Cooder", "Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Once their r\u00e9sum\u00e9 gets out, they'll have all kinds of offers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "The older one can pull out his left eye.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Oh, hell, the Cooders have been carnies ever since we came here in 1620... clinging to the side of the Mayflower.", "c": ["Cooder"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Aw, aren't you sweet? Hey, my pearls. - Spud taught me that.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "'Cause we just happen to have some tickets.", "c": ["Cooder"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Now who's the filthy sleazebag, huh, Marge?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "That's our sister ship, the Athena. It went down with 88 souls just last week.", "c": ["Boat Captain"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "They're the nicest of all the transients you've ever brought home.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Check this out! - What's going on? - Cooder!", "c": ["Family"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "It's ours now. Tell us where the extra sheets are and get off our property.", "c": ["Cooder"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "You can't do this to me. What about the carny code?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Cooder, Spud Laughing]", "c": ["Cooder", "Spud"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Well, well, look who's here. Mr. No-Bribe.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "I hope everyone likes the red things that grow on this tree.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- [Cooder] That Urkel's a hoot. - Listen to 'em.", "c": ["Cooder", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "You'd better not be in my ass groove!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "It took me years to forge that groove.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Hey, look at me. I'm a millionaire. Wow, Dad! You look likeJames Bond.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Which one? 'Precious Moments' or 'Treasured Memories'? - Quit yer yappir. I'm freezir.", "c": ["Spud", "Cooder"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "I say we set fire to the house. Kill 'em that way.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- Well, if we did set fire to the house- - No fires!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Just look at the way they sucker regular folk with those crooked games.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Gasps] That's it. Fire!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "If I can throw this hula hoop onto the chimney, you'll give us our house back. If I miss, I'll sign the deed over to you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "- Homer, no! - Oh, you'll never make it, Dad.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "[Grunts] Now! - What the-", "c": ["Homer", "Cooder"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "That Homer fella grifted you good, Dad. - Well, there's no shame in beir beaten by the best.", "c": ["Spud", "Cooder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "But he didn't seem all that- - We were beaten by the best, boy.", "c": ["Spud", "Cooder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Way to go, Dad. You actually outwitted someone.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Poor guys. Hey, what if we let 'em stay here for just a few days?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "Aw, they mushed it all out of shape.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "All right. Better put on a pot of coffee, Marge. This could take a while.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 12, "et": "Bart Carny"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "I always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can at any school.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Security guard asks for claim checks, Homer groans, then says he'll take guard's word for Bart's luggage", "c": ["Homer", "Security Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Do you have anything by Robert Ludlum? Get out.", "c": ["Airport Vendor"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Look at the outrageous markup. You magnificent bastard. I salute you!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "I just got a bunch of fruity Easter eggs. Ew! Another liver transplant.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Not again! You're not getting away that easy, little fella.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Have you heard of Krishna consciousness? This, Bart, is a crazy man.", "c": ["Recruiter", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Right. That'll work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Hmm. Makes sense.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "How much is this free resort weekend? It's free. And when is this weekend? It's this weekend. Uh-huh. And how much does it cost? Um, it's free. I see. And when is it? It's this weekend. And what are you charging for this free weekend?", "c": ["Homer", "Recruiter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Hey. Look. There's a big crowd to welcome us back, even though we lost.", "c": ["Football Player"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Hey, I'll give you something to cry about, you loser. You can't catch a football? Let's see if you can catch a rock.", "c": ["Angry Fan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "The point is these are some decent, generous people that I can take advantage of.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Remember when those smooth-talking guys tried to sell me a time-share vacation condo? You bought four of them. Thank God the check bounced. So I beat the system.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Watch yourself, Dad. You're the highly suggestible type. Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Out of my way, jerk-ass!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Who the hell is that? Some kind of leader? Yes. He's the head of our perfect family.", "c": ["Homer", "Recruiter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Will there be beer? Beer is not allowed. Homer no function beer well without.", "c": ["Homer", "Recruiter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Would you rather have beer or complete and utter contentment? What kind of beer?", "c": ["Recruiter", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Really? I'm surprised about Maggie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Wow! A free movie! Thanks! Out of my way, jerk-ass!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "I don't know about you, but they're not exactly winning me over with these lousy production values here. I'm gonna slip out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Oh, I just didn't, uh- I didn't think, um- Oh, it's- it's pretty good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Man, this whole place puffs of the wacky-tabbacky. I'm out of here.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Going somewhere? Uh, though you're free to do so. Uh- [Chuckles Nervously] No. Just rearranging my underwear. Ah. There it is.", "c": ["Recruiter", "Otto"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Not a guarantee. Loving serenity. It's about damn time!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Wait. I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that Internal Affairs was setting them up? What are you talking about? There's nothing like that in there. You see, when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span.", "c": ["Homer", "Recruiter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "But our point is very simple. You see, when- Oh, look! A bird! [Chirping] [Giggling]", "c": ["Recruiter", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Let the judgment begin. I'll get the ball rolling. You're a fat idiot. Yeah! Lose some weight! Hey, man. You're fat. Fatso. Moron.", "c": ["Recruiter", "Multiple"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Well, yeah. I guess I could lose a few pounds. And I can be kind of thick sometimes. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "You've failed at everything you've ever tried. Whoa. You've got my number on that one, buddy. This is a smart group.", "c": ["Recruiter", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "And your stink brings tears to my eyes. Now wait a minute, Moe. [Sniffs] Oh. My mistake.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Why isn't our low-protein gruel wearing down his resistance like all the others? It doesn't wear down your resistance if you eat a month's supply. He even ate mine.", "c": ["Two Recruiters"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "You gonna finish that, bony?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Let's try the chant. Everyone loves a droning, repetitive chant. The Leader is good. The Leader is great. We surrender our will as of this date.", "c": ["Recruiter", "All"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "It's no use. He's obviously the most powerful mind we've ever dealt with.", "c": ["Recruiter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "You what? Come again, Marge? You what? I've joined the Movementarians. And so have all of you. We what?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "All I had to give them was our life savings, the deed to the house and a commitment of 10 trillion years of labor.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Marge, when I join an underground cult, I expect a little support from my family.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed? I have not been brainwashed. Kill the girl. Kill the girl. Homer! What? What did I say?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Church, cult. Cult, church. So we get bored someplace else every Sunday.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "This house will become the new local welcome center for this district. And it didn't cost us a dime.", "c": ["Recruiter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Excuse my editorial laugh. [Laughs] But-", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "I love you, perfect Leader, and new C.E.O. of KBBL Broadcasting.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Then something might open up in a double. [Chuckles] Why even unpack?", "c": ["Recruiter", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Yeah. Maybe it'll wear off, like his interest in C.B. radio. That's a negatory, good buddy!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "These rubes in robes haven't met the likes of Bart Simpson before. [Cackles]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "This so-called 'new religion' is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Looks like slim pickings today, Reverend. Oh, Lord. Uh, try the emergency plate, Ned.", "c": ["Ned", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Yes, it would be nice if he'd buy American, but what are you gonna do?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "I'm covered in the dust of the Leader. He favors me! I am even dustier. Dustier than thou!", "c": ["Two Cult Members"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "He's as rich and wicked as I, but he seems to enjoy tax-exempt status. Actually, sir, with our creative bookkeeping and corporate loopholes, we only pay three dollars a year. [Gasps] You're right. We're getting screwed.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "We'll use this special 'K.' I believe that's already a breakfast cereal, sir. And people worship it? In a way.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Ahoy-hoy, lowly mortals.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Ah, he's all right. But he's no bowl of Special 'K.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "But, Marge, we're not mass married. At least you got to choose your mate. We got matched up on the printout.", "c": ["Homer", "Cult Member"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Remember our agreement. I'm the man. You're the man!", "c": ["Two Male Cult Members"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "The Leader, ma'am. Very good, Bart. And who invented Morse code? Oh. I should know this one. The-The Leader? Ah. Correct again.", "c": ["Bart", "Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "He's wrong! You're wrong! The whole damn system is wrong! [Screams]", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Oh! A lima bean that looks just like the Leader! I'll put it with the others.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Homer... you know I always try to put the best face on everything... but there's no face on that damn bean!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "I'll kidnap him for 50... deprogram him for 100, and I'll kill him for 500. No, no, no. Just the first two. All right. I'll throw in the killing for free.", "c": ["Willie", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "I'll kidnap him for 50, deprogram him for 100, and I'll kill him for 500. No, no, no. Just the first two. All right. I'll throw in the killing for free.", "c": ["Willie", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Marge? You're the Leader? You don't look anything like the beans.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Oh, the devil has given him superhuman strength. Give me that, you noodle-armed choir boy!", "c": ["Willie", "Lovejoy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Hey. I made some Rice Krispie squares for our hungry deprogrammerinos. Aw, man! You ruined the atmosphere, ya daft pansy!", "c": ["Ned", "Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Well, this is my rumpus room. Ach! Don't call it that!", "c": ["Ned", "Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "What are you doing? They're not here, you idiots! Idiots? That's slander, sir, and we have it on tape. All right. I'll get out my checkbook.", "c": ["Homer", "Lawyers"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "All right already. But do you love the Leader more than having your very own brand-new hover bikes? [Kids gasp] What Leader? The hell with him. He can take a flying leap.", "c": ["Willie", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Sorry, kids. There's no such thing as hover bikes. They're just a couple of Huffys on a fishing line. But we heard them hovering. Oh, I'm afraid I played a dirty part in this little charade. [Humming]", "c": ["Willie", "Bart", "Lisa", "Ned"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Willie, I'm not sure we're making any headway here. Would you shut up, woman. He's talking about my leader.", "c": ["Marge", "Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Beer? [Salivating] Would you like a tall, frosty one, Homer? [Thinking] No. Must resist temptation. [Thinking] Go ahead. Give in. Beer! Beer! [Thinking] Ooh. These cotton-poly blends are so comfortable.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "You know, I pride myself on being a good host, so I'm obliged to offer you a beer... but I'm so darn mad it's gonna be mostly head.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "That's my husband! He's our husband now.", "c": ["Marge", "Cult Members"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "I'm glad I'm back... because the moment that sweet, sweet beer hit my tongue... I was born again! Hallelujah! Now I can show all of you what I've come to realize. The reason we're not allowed in the forbidden barn... is because there is no intergalactic spaceship. He's taken our money just so he can... build one hell of a spaceship!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson... because of your lack of faith, you've ruined mankind's chance for salvation. Whoops. Nice going there, Homer.", "c": ["Leader", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "[Leader's spaceship crashes and Hover bike sound effects are heard] Come back. Come back! Willie still loves ya, O Great One!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Stranger, you're a-trespassin on my dirt farm. Uh, do you happen to need a messiah? No, but I'll take them sacks of money from ya.", "c": ["Farmer", "Leader"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "I should have stayed with the Promise Keepers.", "c": ["Leader"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "Damn it! It fell apart like everything else I've ever believed in. Oh, I guess it's back to good old-fashioned voodoo.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "To think, I turned to a cult for mindless happiness... when I had beer all along. [Clears Throat] And you, Marge, the bringer of beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "It's wonderful to think for ourselves again. You said it, Sister.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "[Man Announcing] You are watching Fox. [Together] We are watching Fox.", "c": ["TV Announcer", "Family"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 13, "et": "The Joy Of Sect"}, {"t": "300 cubits, give or take. - [Thunderclap] - Exactly 300!", "c": ["Noah", "God"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "- Even stink beetles? - Especially stink beetles.", "c": ["Noah", "God"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Whoa, cool! God is so 'in your face.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Yeah. He's my favorite fictional character.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "At least let us watch till the midgets drown.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "David Versus Super-Goliath and Suddenly, Last Supper", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Go, Lise. Way to cite precedent.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "You've seen the movie. Now meet a real-life Noah. Only this Noah has been accused of killing two of every animal.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Well, it wasn't wiped out in my house!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "And bone we will. [All Laughing]", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Well, uh, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once- at night.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "And there was that submarine with the screen doors.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Oh, grow up, Lise.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "the exports of Libya are numerous in amount. One thing they export is corn. Or, as the Indians call it, maize. Another famous Indian was Crazy Horse. In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrasts.", "c": ["Student as Libya"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Oh, I'd like to, but I'm afraid he has diplomatic immunity.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Point of 'odor.' Lisa stinks.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Good luck, Ralphy. If your nose starts bleeding, it means you're picking it too much.", "c": ["Ralph's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Or not enough.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Remember, Otto. We're trusting you with our greatest natural resource: the school bus.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Flancrest Enterprises is my home business. You liar. You don't have a home business. Why would you make up a lie like that? No. It's true. Maude and I sell religious hook rugs over the Internet.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "You liar. You don't have a home business. Why would you make up a lie like that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Internet, eh? - Yes, indeedy. Making some good scratch too. - Scratch, eh? - Yep. - Maude, eh?", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Can't discuss that now, Marge. I have to write another delicious memo. Mmm. Memo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Man, I don't know why I bought this stupid tape.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Hey, Simpson. Race ya. First one to the front of the bus gets Martin's lunch money. What? Go apple! Go orange! Go banana!", "c": ["Nelson", "Students"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Make way for grapefruit. Go grapefruit!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Stay calm, kids. I need you to be my eyes. Okay. Which way should I turn?", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Just hang tight, kids. I'll swim for help.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Zeppelin rules!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "I guess this is the end, Wendell. - He's Wendell. I'm Lewis. - Whatever. Just tell Wendell I said bye.", "c": ["Lewis", "Wendell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "I think I'm getting swimmer's ear!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Hey! Martin seconded the motion. It's entirely his fault.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "We all know this is Milhouse's fault.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "It'll be just like The Swiss Family Robinson, only with more cursing. We're gonna live like kings. Damn, hell, as kings.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "How many monkey butlers will there be? One at first, but he'll train others.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Flancrest Enterprises. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "This industry moves so fast, it's really hard to tell.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "How about CompuGlobalHyperMeganet?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "CompuGlobalHyperMeganet. Junior vice president Homer Simpson speaking. How may I direct your call? It's Patty.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "I 'eated' the purple berries. They taste like burning.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.65, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, your tree house looks kinda crummy too. Kinda really crummy.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "No food, no shelter, no monkey butlers. This island is a death hole.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Oh! Thank the good dude, I'm saved! And we can go back for the kids too. Hmm.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "I think I'm gonna like it on this boat.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "I think I'm gonna like it on this boat.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Scaredy got scared!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's. Oh, my gosh! Oh, wow! She really is hungry.", "c": ["Lisa", "Students"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "I mean stomach. Gut. Crap factory.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Mmm! Lace: The Final Brassiere.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "This high-speed modem is intolerably slow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Welcome to the Internet, my friend. How can I help you?", "c": ["Internet King"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Welcome to the Internet, my friend. How can I help you?", "c": ["Bill Gates"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Can I have some money now?", "c": ["Internet King"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Well, I guess you could have. Milhouse, I am defending you. Oh. Sorry. I'm just saying, it was either you or the monster.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "You liar! You did it, you lying jerk! Take that! You did it! Objection! He's not asking any questions. Hmm. I'm gonna allow this.", "c": ["Nelson", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "You don't look so rich. Don't let the haircut fool you. I'm exceedingly wealthy.", "c": ["Homer", "Bill Gates"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Don't let the haircut fool you. I'm exceedingly wealthy. Get a load of the bowl job, Marge.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "We're rich! Richer than astronauts!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Well, everyone always does. Buy him out, boys.", "c": ["Bill Gates"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Oh, I didn't get rich by writing a lot of checks.", "c": ["Bill Gates"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Here, Milhouse. You go first. Okay. Now throw the vine back. There's no time.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Stop! You are in violation of the Model U.N. charter! Uh, that's right. The U.N. doesn't look too kindly on-", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Hey. If a boar can survive here, there must be a source of food. Hey. I only stole two sandwiches and a bag of Doritos.", "c": ["Lisa", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "All that slime made this boar extra tender. More snout anyone?", "c": ["Student", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "Ah, shut up. Savages.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "And eventually, they were rescued by... oh, let's say Moe.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 14, "et": "Das Bus"}, {"t": "What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals. / Well, maybe if he had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "There's that bird you like to argue with. / Well, well, well, if it isn't Professor Know-it-all.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Something for church... but also for doctor's appointments, dental checkups... piano recitals, building dedications... visiting elderly relatives, haircuts and shoe shopping.", "c": ["Shoe salesman"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Did you hear that, kids? Brown. / Oh, rats. Talk about bad luck.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "I forgot to wear socks today. Guess I can't try those on. / Yeah, no problem. You can wear the store sock.", "c": ["Homer", "Shoe salesman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Hey, if you didn't want to tie shoes, you shouldn't have become a shoe salesman.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "It's not enough to want a cracker. You have to earn it.", "c": ["Shoe salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Perfect, you'll grow into them. / When? / Oh, you're both way overdue for a spurt.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Do you like to laugh? / Oh, yes. As long as it's tasteful. And never at someone, or with, and not- / Excuse me, sir. Do you like to laugh?", "c": ["Festival promoter", "Woman", "Festival promoter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "A rest home for pirates? / No, Dad. It's to fight soil erosion.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Somebody wanna get this kid a TV? / Whoa, gee, thanks, mister. / Yeah, just joking. I-I'm Jay Leno.", "c": ["Jay Leno", "Bart", "Jay Leno"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Didn't he die in a grease fire? / No, he's alive.", "c": ["Jay Leno", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Charity, eh? What's my cut? / Nothing? I make more than that takin' a 'schwitz.'", "c": ["Krusty", "Festival promoter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Boy, swipe one pair of Haggar slacks... and you're payin' for it the rest of your life.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "I finally got around to reading the dictionary. It turns out the zebra did it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Dad, the zebra didn't do it. It's just a word at the end of the dictionary. / I still don't get it. / It's just a joke. / Oh, I get it! I get jokes.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "I got my period today. / Plus, I got this new boyfriend. You know how it is when you're kissing a guy with a tongue stud.", "c": ["Female comedian", "Female comedian"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 4.91, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "The man Spencer Tracy called 'the most promising newcomer of 1959.'", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "I tried one the other day. When lightning strikes, the peach cobbler goes out.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "You don't have leftovers, you have reruns.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "TV dinner jokes? Ooh! Take that, Swansons.", "c": ["Modern comedian"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Me so sorry. Ah, so. / What's he gonna do next, the flapping dickey?", "c": ["Krusty", "Modern comedian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Me like the fried rice. Me flap dickey long time.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.53, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Hey, Krusty, great set. Are you kidding? I stunk up the joint. No, no. I was talking to Lisa back there. We both agreed. You killed.", "c": ["Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Sure, there were a lot of laughs. You probably couldn't hear them. The acoustics were so bad.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Did you get a load of 'Corpsey' the Clown? That guy cheapens our whole profession.", "c": ["Modern comedian"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Last night's comedy benefit delivered wall-to-wall laughs without exception. / The only exception was the embarrassingly dated humor of Springfield's green-haired, red-nosed hack-", "c": ["Review reader", "Review"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "They say any publicity is good publicity. / You, sir, are an idiot.", "c": ["Krusty", "Mr. Teeny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "I don't know what the hell you are. / You can be so cruel when you're sober.", "c": ["Krusty", "Sideshow Mel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "I'm Kent Brockman the clown... filling in for Krusty the Clown who didn't come in today.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "He is presumed dead or on vacation.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "It seems a local moron threw his clock out the window. We'll tell you why right after this.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Wow, a clown. Do you think he's evil? / He smells evil. / Should we tell Daddy? / No, let's poke him a little while longer.", "c": ["Unknown children", "Unknown children", "Unknown children", "Unknown children"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Oh, it hurts to talk. We'll have to work out a system of blinks.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Oh, P.U., what were you drinking, gasoline? / Yes, I was drinking gasoline, Mother.", "c": ["Krusty's mother", "Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Man, look at all the crap with my face on it. / 'Krusty's Personal Swabs'? What was I thinking?", "c": ["Krusty", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Ah, that burns! What the hell is on those things? / Here. Quick, use my Krusty Eye Wash.", "c": ["Krusty", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "You mean like when your lazy butler washes your sock garters... and they're still covered with schmutz?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Dad! / Whoops! Sorry, Son. I didn't know you, Jay Leno and a monkey were bathing a clown.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Eat your vegetables. Take a sweater. I don't think that's a good idea. Hmm.", "c": ["Jay Leno as Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Have you ever noticed how there are two phone books... a white one and a yellow one? / Like, what's the deal with that? / One's residential, the other is business. / Oh, well, that makes sense.", "c": ["Krusty", "Krusty", "Audience member", "Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "What's the deal with cardboard?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Instead of time-tested jokes about women drivers and doctor bills... you got some big-chin schlub... reading typos from the Ralookaville Rost.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "These comics today. 'Ooh, look at me. I can't set my V.C.R. I can't open a bag of airline peanuts. I'm a freakin' moron.'", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Then you got these lady comics talking about stuff... that would embarrass Redd Foxx- God rest his smutty soul.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "What the hell are you laughin' at? I'm just tellin' the truth. / And it's funny. / It is?", "c": ["Krusty", "Audience", "Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Hi, how you folks doing? I'm Moe. Or, as the ladies like to call me, 'Hey, you, behind the bushes.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "And now, without further Apu. I have been zinged and I love it.", "c": ["Apu", "Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "The got poor Vincent Price floatin' around on a toilet cake... tellin' me about 'the horrors of an unfresh bowl.'", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "And I tell you somethin' else, I do not believe Winston Churchill... would eat at Der Wienerschnitzel.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Well, here's one dollar those crooks aren't gonna get their hands on. / Uh, isn't that illegal? / I don't care if it is illegal. I'm makin' a stand here. Who's with me?", "c": ["Krusty", "Audience member", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Oh, you're burning it all wrong, Seymour. / It's my allowance, Mother, and I'll burn it the way I want.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner", "Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Here's $42. That's everything I have. / Run home and bury it in the yard. / I love you, Mom.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "From now on... I'm gonna be just like Krusty and tell it like it is. / Marge, you're getting a little fat around the old thighs. / Dad! / You too, Bart.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Oh, knock it off, Homer. You're the fattest one in the car. / You didn't have to tell it like it is, Marge.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Well, we think you'd be the perfect spokesman... for our company's new sports utility vehicle, the Canyonero.", "c": ["Corporate executives"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Oh, well. No! Take your corporate blood wagon and get the hell out. Are you sure? It's free. Stop saying that!", "c": ["Krusty", "Executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "The Canyonero combines the smooth handling of a European sports car... with the rugged drivability of a sturdy 4x4.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "Fat-free yogurt. The-The quality of computer porn.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "It ain't comedy that's in my blood. It's selling out.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "The Federal Highway Commission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 15, "et": "The Last Temptation Of Krust"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Whoa-ho! Texas snowball fight!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Ow! Bart, that has nuts in it.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Yeah, Mom says a lot of things.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Oh, I understand, kids. I'm not a bath man myself. More of a cologne man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Out of my way! She's gonna blow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Hi, sweetie. I'm off to Moe's. Love ya.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "To Marge and all the blissful years... I've spent hiding from her in this bar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Yeah, big deal. You got a wife. I got a rash. Who cares?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "It's just- It's been four years since my last date with a whatchacallit... uh, woman.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Oh, she got homesick for her old life- diving for tourists' pennies in a Micronesian swamp.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "No girl wants to end up with a Joe Puke-Pail like me.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, uh, how come I ain't... fending off movie starlets with a pointy stick?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Oh, it's probably due to your ugliness.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Relax. All I smell is garlic and fish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Okay, I won't lie to you. A lot of people saw that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Or maybe you'd prefer a cool, refreshing Bacardi colada. Because Bacardi makes the night... come alive with freshness.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "No. I'm in love with you.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna die lonely and ugly and... dead.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "A gorgeous woman don't just hand you a free 'daffy-dil.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "I guess you could have a lot of weird scars or a fake ass or something.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "You don't talk to a lot of women, do you?", "c": ["Renee"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Gee, I'm sorry. I used to box, you know. My brairs- Well, it's kind of in and out.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Yeah, it kind of draws the eye away from the old mug.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Oh, what was I thinking? A beautiful girl like you and a gargoyle like me.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Hot damn! All right, don't eat nothin' for the next three days... 'cause I'm taking you out for a steak the size of a toilet seat.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "She's going out with me, cat!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Stop kissin' that cat, and get in the car!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Lobster stuffed with tacos.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Well, to be honest, at first it was just pity.", "c": ["Renee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "He's got this insecure, sweaty charm.", "c": ["Renee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Last night he bought all the seats in a movie theater... just so we could have a romantic evening together.", "c": ["Renee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "I just get so tired of idiots shooting their mouths off, laughing and clapping. Makes you wanna start poking eyes out... and slashing guts and kicking throats.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Hey, shut up, or I'll ram a stool down your throat!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "I got a real tenuous hold on my girlfriend here.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Renee ain't gonna want to hang around with no Joe Pinchpenny.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "You bunch of ungrateful ingrates!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "You could sell a kidney or maybe even your car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Nah, my car ain't won'th nothir.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Steal? Oh, no, you got the wrong guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "When everybody said... you were too drunk to drive that time, who gave you your keys?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Homer, I insist you steal that car.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Mmm! Me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Now the car's gonna have to represent you, and, uh... this little toy man will represent the car.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "You're a genius, Moe. All your troubles... will soon be over for a couple of months.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Why all the black? - Why all the pearls? Why all the hair? Why anything?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "I'm just going out to commit certain deeds. [Under Breath] Suckers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "I was just thinking... what a good parking job I did with it.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo-hoo. That's sweet.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "I'm going to be the best car thief ever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "He thought he was gonna steal- D'oh!", "c": ["Security Guard", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "They're showing Hail to the Chimp! I have time to see one little movie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Get off me, Mr. President! [Laughs] That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp.", "c": ["Homer", "Movie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "The train. You hear that? That's the train! Isn't that the most beautiful sound you ever heard? It's almost as sweet as your voice.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "D'oh! I gotta find another way to wreck Moe's car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Except when that drunken cop started firing at those seagulls.", "c": ["Renee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Hey! Hey, what's it doing there? It was supposed to be on the railroad tracks. No, I mean, the parking lot.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Homer, you moron. - Homer, you genius!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Geronimo! [Car goes over cliff with elaborate crash sequence]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Well, that car thief can't hold his breath forever. - And if he can, Chief? - Then God help us all.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Homer! Oh, how... could you?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Brilliant! Brilliant! Okay, let's do another... but this time, try to look scarier. Kind of like- [Growls]", "c": ["Photographer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Your fingerprints are just like snowflakes. They're both very pretty.", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "I destroyed that car for all the right reasons.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "You just go home... and don't worry your pretty blue head about it. Moe will take care of everything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "I'll give you two packs for that candy bar. - Three. - Why, you little-", "c": ["Homer", "Fellow prisoner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Yeah. Yeah, that's a- That's a kick in the pants.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Oh, cripes, the puppy dog look.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Is everything okay, honey? Your shirt is so dry.", "c": ["Renee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Let's just get a can of poi and eat it in the tub.", "c": ["Renee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Stop saying 'Hawaii' in there.", "c": ["Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Forget it, Simpson. You're going to the chair. [Gasps] The interrogation chair.", "c": ["Police"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "You killed me! - Hey, n-no. No, y-you ain't dead. Y-Y-You're just in jail.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Oh, no. You're gay, aren't you? Oh, boy, Renee, you sure can pick 'em.", "c": ["Renee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Hey, why did you say gay first?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Then we go to the graveyard and steal two corpses. We switch clothes with 'em and leave them in the bar. Then we pour some brandy around, like so. Then we light a match. And fwoof! We start a new life in Hawaii.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Yes, Moe, I'm going to find corpses.", "c": ["Renee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Must kill Moe. Wheeeee! Must kill Moe. Wheeeee!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "I really wanna sleep. I... also sleep. Good night, Mommy.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Oh, I could never stay mad at you, Moe. After all, you get me drunk.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Moe, dry those beady little eyes. Your buddy Homer'll get you back on your feet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "Kids, from now on, I don't want you touching anything in our house.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "There's a balloon machine in the bathroom.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 16, "et": "Dumbbell Indemnity"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Yuck. Salisbury soup again? My joe isn't sloppy enough. And talk about weak coffee.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "I bought my lunch at the gas station. It's the kind John Glenn eats when he's not in space.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Answer this, Professor. [Grunting]", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Maybe I can't concentrate because of all your cooties! It's called lice. And it's nothing to be ashamed of.", "c": ["Student", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "It's not Egyptian. It's not Prince's names.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Look at my 'aggieculture' project. It's a piece of a cow.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "It's an eraser with pushpins. And a spring for his curly tail. [Laughs] Oink, oink, oink.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, it looks like somebody's 'hoggir Dazs' ice cream. [Laughs] I should write this down.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, no! Her clothes are coming off! [Chuckles] Hey, you know who would love this? Men.", "c": ["Customer", "Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Thaw me out when robot wives are cheap and effective. P.S. Please alter my pants as fashion dictates.", "c": ["Jasper"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, no! No, no! The George Raft look is dead. I wanted Audie Murphy! If you would just apologize to Louie, you could get your hair cut the way you want.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "I burned the roast. My cake fell. And I ran out of butter, so I had to spray the English muffins with PAM.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Maybe you're just a lousy cook. Ow!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, ain't no big deal. All Simpsons start to lose their smarts around your age.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, your dad used to be smart as a monkey. Then his mind started gettir lazy... and now he's dumb as a chimp.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Back when he was your age, he was smart as a chimp.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Wait. That's not how you spell 'dumbening.' Wait. 'Dumbening' isn't even a word!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Have you ever wondered why fat parents have fat children... or why Chinese parents have Chinese children?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such medical films as Alice Doesrt Live Anymore... and Mommy, What's Wrong with that Mars Face?", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Isn't there any way I can change my D.N. A... like sitting on the microwave?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Hmm. He's got a lob... but I don't hear a dob. Oh. Uh, there it is.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Hmm. He's got a lob... but I don't hear a dob. Oh. Uh, there it is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "This freezer is an attractive nuisance. Just look at all that ice cream. It's damn near irresistible.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Come one, come all. See the amazing frozen man. Also gaze at the Frito found in a bag of Doritos.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Marvel at the floor that just won't come clean!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Marvel at the floor that just won't come clean!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, Ralph seems happy enough. Maybe I should just give up now and settle into a mindless, happy stupor.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Man has always loved his buildings. But what happens when the buildings say, 'No more'?", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "The best part was when the buildings fell down. Yeah. Ha. Maybe people got hurt. Hey, yeah.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Show me your tie. It's cute. Come on. Let's go. Me and Frostillicus go back a long way.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "The label vanished many years ago. What strange wonders lie inside? Treasure, dog food? Whoa! Some things man is not meant to know.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Actually, it's not so much funny as it is long. It seems that there was this-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Marge, we need 5,000 c.c.'s of snacks, stat!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Marge, we need 5,000 c.c.'s of snacks, stat!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "If she started dinner three minutes earlier, we wouldn't be in this mess.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "But those candy bars are all squished and melted. Wha- Wha-", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Hi, honey. It's me, your husband, Ralph. Hey, angel pie. Can you drive me down to the 'liberry'?", "c": ["Ralph", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, angel pie. Can you drive me down to the 'liberry'? I wanna rent us up some movies.", "c": ["Future Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Wesley, get mama's pryir bar. Easy does it now. Easy. Little more. Get- Right- Back-", "c": ["Future Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "By gum, it worked. I've awakened in the future. 'Moon Pie.' What a time to be alive.", "c": ["Jasper"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Is that you, Apu? Whoa! Time has ravaged your once-youthful looks.", "c": ["Jasper", "Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "But the crowd kept looking at me like I was using too many augmented ninths.", "c": ["Musician"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Uh, I am! I'm strongly opposed to... Proposition, uh, 305! You're against discount bus fares for war widows?", "c": ["Lisa", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "To Kill a Mockingbird, Harriet the Spy and Yertle the Turtle... possibly the best book ever written on the subject of turtle stacking.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Simpson gene? That's just foolishness! No. Baldness too.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Little girl... likes her brain. What's your opinion?", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, you look pretty successful. Thanks. I play a millionaire at parties. At least I'd like to.", "c": ["Homer", "Simpson Relative"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, you look pretty successful. Thanks. I play a millionaire at parties. At least I'd like to.", "c": ["Lisa", "Relative"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "I step in front of cars and sue the drivers. I beg celebrities for money. I'm a prison snitch. Jug band manager.", "c": ["Simpson Relatives"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "I beg celebrities for money. I'm a prison snitch. Jug band manager. My legs hurt.", "c": ["Various Relatives"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Doctor? That's right. I'm Chief of Complicated Surgery at the InvasiCare Clinic.", "c": ["Female Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "The defective Simpson gene is on the 'Y' chromosome, so only men are affected.", "c": ["Female Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "Unless you're a man. So wait a minute. This means I'm gonna be a failure? Yes, Son. A spectacular failure.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "I got it! Whoo-hoo! I mean, splendid.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 17, "et": "Lisa The Simpson"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh! Oh! Low battery? [Groans] Whatever.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "He's a robot. We saw him on the way in. - Thank you, Bart.", "c": ["Bart", "Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Greetings, Earth children. - Where are you from? - Earth.", "c": ["Robot", "Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Larry: 3.2 kilograms. - Fascinating! - Ah.", "c": ["Robot", "Students"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Command link severed. Default setting. Crush. Kill. Destroy.", "c": ["Robot"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Children, help! He's killing me! [Cheering]", "c": ["Teacher", "Students"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Me. I smell a museum. Yeah, good things don't end with 'eum.' They end with 'mania' or 'teria.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as 'Welcome to Springfield Airport' and 'Where's Nordstrom?'", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "It says the ceiling was donated by the Velcro company.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "And the floor was donated by American SuperBall.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Ovulate, damn you. Ovulate! - You are out of sperm.", "c": ["Homer", "Computer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Whoa! This whole planet is like one big skate park!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "I found a moon rock in my nose. Houston, we have a booger.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Hey, loser, this planet's for space studs. Yeah, blast off. I know you. My daddy took your beer.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Kearney", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "You poor little boy! - Ah, no. He'll be fine. He's always getting himself stuffed into this or that.", "c": ["Marge", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's just playing Wiggle Puppy. That's a dog he made up who flies by wagging his tail.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Ah, yeah, the kid's incredible. I mean, the special schools are all over him.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Sure, we'd all love some real friends, Marge... but what are the odds of that happening?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Your hair is tall and pretty.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Help! She's touching my special area!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! Beer, beer, beer! Bed, bed, bed!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "You would know. - Bart, you don't have to go anywhere today. I've got a surprise for you. - What? - I scheduled a playdate.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "A what? With who? - [Gasps] - Hi, Bart. We're gonna be friends.", "c": ["Bart", "Ralph"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "I have a finger trap. Whoa. Get him off. Get him off! Fighting only makes it tighter.", "c": ["Ralph", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "The social order of elementary school is densely layered. The coolest kids are at the top- - Oh, you mean the 'A' students?", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "I can't hear you! [Humming]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Your toys are fun to touch. Mine are all sticky.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "I dropped my 'Popsticle' in your toy chest.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Shh! I been here two hours, and Bart still hasn't finded me.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "But people will see me paired up with a doofus. You have no idea what that's like.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Slow down, Bart. My legs don't know how to be as long as yours.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Videotaping this crime spree is the best idea we ever had!", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "That's where I saw the leprechaun. - Right. A leprechaun. - He told me to burn things.", "c": ["Ralph", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Did he say I'm not allowed in there? - Yes. - Well, I'm going in anyway.", "c": ["Bart", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Wow! Dad's been in jail six times! Aw, Mom's only been in twice.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "A 341 in my own bedroom. All right, crookie. Let's dance.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "It's on the house.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "That's Daddy's magic key. It opens every door in town.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "This is Jerry Maguire. Show me the message. Show me the message!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "This is Geraldine, and the devil made me miss your call... so here come the beep. Here come the beep!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "The world is our toy store. - Toy store, toy store, toy store! Whee!", "c": ["Bart", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Check it out, guys. It's dork and dorker.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "We're on a playdate. - [Laughing] - Isn't that adorable? Ah, the girls are on a playdate!", "c": ["Bart", "Bullies"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Um, we're just hanging, chilling, little bit of illing.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Would a lame wad have the police master key?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Here she is- the big house. The stony lonesome. The thug jug. The mobster trap. - Penn State. The old crook-", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "I thought we were friends. - [Laughing] Wait. I missed that. Get him to say it again.", "c": ["Ralph", "Bullies"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "I can't bail on a friend, even if it is Ralph.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, I hope the irony's not lost on you, Simpson.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "I know. Let's go pick some huckleberries! - Yeah! - Huckleberries! All right!", "c": ["Nelson", "Bullies"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "The pointy kitty took it!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Smells like hot dogs.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Till death do you part.", "c": ["Electric Chair/Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Why do I always shout first? Just gives them a chance to run away. Well, I'm an idiot.", "c": ["Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Got any threes? - Go fish. - Oh! See, here's the problem, Ralph. You have several threes. - Go fish!", "c": ["Bart", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Hey, that's our play chair!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "He's gonna smell like hot dogs.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Lisa's a good thinker.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Lisa's a good thinker. That's it. Ralph, you're a genius!", "c": ["Bart", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket. - You don't have to tell me, sir.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Then the old prison has been getting free electricity for 30 years. I'll put a stop to that.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "But the rocket was my idea. - But asking you was Ralph's idea. - You're the man, Ralph!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Ah, you've done grand, laddie. Now you know what you have to do- burn the house down! Burn 'em all!", "c": ["Leprechaun"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 18, "et": "This Little Wiggy"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson! You stand accused of eating half the population of the Planet of the Doughnuts.", "c": ["Judge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Did you just take a bite out of me? / Um, maybe.", "c": ["Doughnut Defense Attorney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "We place this last doughnut in the reactor core... exposing it to radiation, thereby making it big! Yeah, it worked on my hand!", "c": ["Homer", "Coworker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "It's my first day. / Since I've never seen you before, maybe it is your first day. / That's Homer Simpson. And he's been working here for 10 years.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "It's my first day. / Well, why didn't you sa- Oh, whoo! You're fired!", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Blacula, followed by Blackenstein... and the Blunchblack of Blotre Blame.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "You're in the naval reserve: America's 17th line of defense... between the Mississippi National Guard and the League of Women Voters.", "c": ["Naval Reserve Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "And most of that time, you're drunk off your ass.", "c": ["Naval Reserve Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Are you a homosex- / Oh, for God's sake, don't answer that. I could go to jail.", "c": ["Navy Recruiter", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "We live in a highly technological age where fighting a war... is as simple as turning off a light. [Clapping] / We don't have a Clapper.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Sorry, I can't hear you, Marge. I'm clapping. [Clapping Continues] Nighty-night.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Gee, thanks, guys. This is just like The Deer Hunter.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Apu runs away screaming in Vietnamese after Deer Hunter reference", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "I'll bring you a weapon of unimaginable destructive power! / Homer! / But only if you're good. Even if you're not.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Mine is! [Belches]", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "No way, man. My hair is who I am! / Ow, I'm a freak!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "I don't like you, and you don't like me. / I like you. / You like me, but I don't like you. / Maybe you would like me if you got to know me.", "c": ["Drill Sergeant", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Well, I'm no Margaret Cho... but I do a pretty fair Columbo impression. [Imitating Columbo] Uh, one more thi- [Coughs] [Clears Throat] I should get a glass of water.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Very nice, Simpson. But next time, tie the other end to the ship! [People Screaming]", "c": ["Naval Instructor", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Congratulations! You are all pastry chefs! / Congratulations. You are all World War I historical re-creationists.", "c": ["French Officer", "German Officer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Milhouse, my mom wears earrings. Do you think she's cool? / No! / I think she's hot! Sorry. It just slipped out.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "That is so 1991.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Well, I'm a Gypsy. / Oh, really? Prove it. / [Imitating Dracula] 'I vant to suck your blood!' / Nuh-uh. That's a vampire. But, uh, they're also covered.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "I lost this eye in Haiti. I was drinkin a mai tai... and I forgot to take the little parasol out.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "I was on P.T. 109 with John F. Kennedy. I was the first to discover his terrible secret. / Ich bin ein Berliner. / He's a Nazi! Get 'im!", "c": ["Grampa", "JFK", "Sailors"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "And hit me over the head with a hat? That's not funny. That hurts! [Laughing] / Stop laughing at me!", "c": ["Gilligan", "Others"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "An earring. How rebellious. In a conformist sort of way.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Milhouse jumped off a cliff? I'm there.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "My neck hurts, and my ear hurts. I have two owies.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "'Nuc-u-lar'! It's pronounced, 'nuc-u-lar.' / Oh, whatever. / 'Nuc-u-lar.'", "c": ["Homer", "Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "I'm a man of few words. Any questions? / Uh, is the poop deck really what I think it is? / I like the cut of your jib. / What's a jib? / Promote that man.", "c": ["Captain Tennille", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Love Boat theme song as 'ancient sea chanty'", "c": ["Captain", "Crew"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "I want peas. / We all want peace! But it's always just out of reach. / With a knife! / Exactly! Not with the olive branch, but the bayonet.", "c": ["Homer", "Captain"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "You're like the son I never had. / And you're like the father I never visit.", "c": ["Captain", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "You gotta poke 'im with a stick. / I don't want to go to school today! [Snores]", "c": ["Barney", "Barney's son"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "You gotta poke 'im with a stick [to wake Barney in torpedo tube]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "What do we do? / I don't know. / Fifteen seconds to collision. We need a decision. / What would the captain say in my spot? / Don't fire the torpedoes! / Fire the torpedoes!", "c": ["Sailor", "Homer", "Captain"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Fire! Not me, a torpedo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "You just shot the captain out of the torpedo tube. / That means you're in charge, Homer. / I am?", "c": ["Sailor", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Ice-blended mocha drinks and David Schwimmer. / Yes, he is handsome in an ugly sort of way.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Mr. Sulu, make a left! / Aye, aye, Captain. Setting course for Rigel Seven. I mean home.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist- But he is not a porn star!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "The Soviet Union? I thought you guys broke up. / [Laughing] Yes! That's what we wanted you to think! [Evil laughing]", "c": ["Homer", "Russian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "and Sherri, but not Terri. / Ha-ha!", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "It's filling up with a clear, nonalcoholic liquid. / You mean, water? / Yeah, that's it.", "c": ["Sailor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "[Baby talking] Oh, Mr. Snookums. Oh, I 'wuv' you so- What are you looking at?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "I'll plug your hole! I mean, eureka!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Uh, it's my first day!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Uh, it's my first day!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "I would throw the book at you, but I've been indicted in the Tailhook scandal", "c": ["Naval Officer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "You can't spell 'dishonorable' without 'honorable.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Then can I get a tattoo that says, 'Bite me'? / You never know when it might come in handy.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "Weapons-grade plutonium? / Ask your mother.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 19, "et": "Simpson Tide"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Will this horrible year never end? We've never lost a year before, and I'll be damned if we're gonna lose one on my shift.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "January 1st. Better get going on those taxes, Neddie.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Cash register ink. Well, that's a business expense, isn't it? Oh, but, then, I do enjoy the smell of the stuff, don't I? Better not risk it.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Policemen, trees, sunshine- and let's not forget the folks who just don't feel like working, God bless 'em.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "8:45? Here I am, yapping away like it's 8:35!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Getting your taxes out of the way? No. Just mailing out death certificates... for holiday-related fatalities.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Until you're willing to file jointly, back of the line, Seymour!", "c": ["Edna Krabappel", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Yar! Sometimes I wonder why I bother plundering at all.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Oh, no. No, no. I felt that. You didn't carry the one, you foolish person. Now you'll incur the penalties with the compound interest... and the wrath and the truncheons.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Taxes? Isn't this the line for Metallica?", "c": ["Random citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Because I'm an idiot! Happy?", "c": ["Random citizen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "And at the risk of sounding a little smug- Ohh! Help! Does anyone have a calculator?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "I paid my taxes over a year ago.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "What is it, sweetie? Did you see a scary picture in your picture book?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "That was last year's taxes. You have to pay again this year.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "No. Because, you see, I went ahead, and... year-wise, I was counting forward from the last previous- D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "I have a 'to do' pile?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Marge, how many kids do we have? Oh, no time to count. I'll just estimate- uh, nine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "If I don't hear you, it's not illegal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Business gifts! Here you go. Keep using nuclear power.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "you require 24-hour nursing care, Lisa's a clergyman... Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in Vietnam.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Cool!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "You really had a lot of talent, kid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "If I don't see it, it's not illegal!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "So, Lenny, let's say you pull a thorn out of the pope's butt, and he grants you one wish. What'll it be?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Well, I've always wondered what it would feel like to wear something that's been ironed.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "That'd be sweet. What about you, Moe? Ah, gee, I was gonna say a night with Joey Heatherton. But an ironed shirt? Damn, that's tempting!", "c": ["Carl", "Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson? United States government. Help! Somebody! Help!", "c": ["Homer", "Agent Johnson"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "This is an egregious miscarriagement of taxitude.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, this government computer can process over nine tax returns per day.", "c": ["Agent Johnson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "No, sir. I'm really sorry, sir. An older boy told me to do it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "No, sir. Please, I can't go to prison. They pee in a cup and throw it on you! I saw it in a movie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "You won't be seeing any prison movies where you're going- prison!", "c": ["Agent Johnson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Okay, but could you pay me under the table? I got a little tax problem.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "They want you to spy on your friends? Not spy, squeal. I've got no choice.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Quiet, honey. You don't know how big this government is. It goes all the way to the president!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "There you go, ratboy! Does this make me look fat? No. It makes you look like a tool of government oppression. But not fat?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Hey, I see you're watching a ball game. Looks like a good one. Any of you involved in any illegal activity? 'Cause I could sure go for some.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "How about you, Lenny? Testing, testing. Lenny?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "You mean like the time you was running moonshine out of your basement? Or that telemarketing scam you pulled? Uh, like those. But involving you.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "You mean like the time Barney beat up George Bush? Barney? That was me! And I'd do it again.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Why stop there, Homer? My militia has a secret plan... to beat up all sorts of government officials. That'll teach 'em to drag their feet on high definition TV!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Oh, that's ridiculous, Moe. End transmission.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "You have a flair for treachery.", "c": ["Agent Johnson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Why do you keep picking on me? Marge's name was on that tax return too.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Uh, m-my shirt fell off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Losers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "who fought so poorly and surrendered so readily.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "To make good on this drunken boast...", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Ooh, a trillion-dollar bill. That's a spicy meatball!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Ooh, a trillion-dollar bill. That's a spicy meatball!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Well, this is a kick in the knickers. Should we complain to somebody? No. I say we just act snooty to Americans forever! I agree.", "c": ["European officials"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "But all we've ascertained from satellite photos is that it's not on the roof.", "c": ["Agent Johnson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "But Mr. Burns gave me my job, and he hasn't fired me... even after three meltdowns and one China Syndrome. I can't betray him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Oh, stop fishing for compliments, Smithers. Go home to your can of mushroom soup.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "I'm in.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "A pack of vicious dogs should be ripping you to pieces.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Well, Mr. Burns, you always come off as kind of a gruff, crotchety loner. But we both know that deep down inside- Ha-ha!", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Come on! Where are you? Here, trilli-trilli!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Oh, I get it. I'm onto you. You're from Collier's magazine, aren't you? Are you going to put me in 'Star Snoop'?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Well, of course, I didn't want a racehorse in my living room. But you don't say no to Spring Byington, do you?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Oh, you'll find this amusing- the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "tossing that tea without a care... for what the caffeine would do to the Fenway flounder.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "It commemorates my liberation of a trillion dollars that would have been foolishly squandered.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Every year you make hardworking joes like my reporter friend here pay income taxes. And for what? Aid to ungrateful foreigners... do-nothing nuclear missiles... tomb polish for some unknown soldier.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Hey, he's right. You crooks in Washington-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Oh, you can silence me, but you can't silence Collier's magazine. Tell the people! Don't let the government push you around! You have a choice. Fight back! I'm gonna write the best darn article- Oh, wait.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "We'll hide out at my place. I've got beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Uh, that really was more of a burgundy.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "We'll purchase a small island somewhere and start our own country... free from the relentless tyranny of Uncle Sam.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "What about my wife and kids? That can be shipped.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "My dad has a trillion dollars? Wow! I can buy and sell your sorry ass.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Who needs college, Mom? We're trillionaires! Let's buy dune buggies!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Turn back immediately or we will be unable to prosecute you.", "c": ["FBI Agent"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "We better do what he says! Wait! We're now over international waters. Whoo-hoo! We can gamble! Yes!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "They'll be back. They'll miss American TV.", "c": ["FBI Agent"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "And it has 'freedom' written all over it. Sir, that's Cuba.", "c": ["Homer", "Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Sorry about the landing, boys. This fog is so thick, I can't see my own cataracts.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "It's carne de burro. Nice to meet you.", "c": ["Cuban official"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Comrades, our nation is completely bankrupt. We have no choice but to abandon communism. I know, I know, I know. But we all knew from day one this mumbo jumbo wouldn't fly.", "c": ["Castro"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Ah, they're not so bad. They even named a street after me in San Francisco. It's full of what?", "c": ["Castro"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "\u00a1Ay, caramba!", "c": ["Castro"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "See with your eyes, not with your hands.", "c": ["Castro"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "It's hard to believe there's a place worse than America. But we found it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Oppression and harassment are a small price to pay to live in the land of the free.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "Well, if it's a crime to love one's country, then I'm guilty. And if it's a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government... and hand it over to Communist Cuba, then I'm guilty of that too.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "And if it's a crime to bribe a jury... then so help me... I'll soon be guilty of that! God bless America!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 20, "et": "The Trouble With Trillions"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "I want a job. - You've got it.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "I quit. [Screams]", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Man, you'd think the quality would dip after 5,500 shows.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Don't trust mice. Cats are made of glass.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "That Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Hour?", "c": ["TV Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "It's the tightest three hours and 10 minutes on TV.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "We could trim the hobo parade to a lean 20.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Ach. She's a bonny pile.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "You owe me a quarter. I didn't crack my skull.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "It's been raped of its 'bonny-ness.'", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "And she'll make a fine piece of kindling.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Sorry. Willie can't hear ya.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Today's top story- Little girl on cloud nine as dream comes true.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "I know. I already jumped to that conclusion.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Tell me who I selected to be lunchroom monitor. - Me?", "c": ["Principal", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "I'll have to eat my way out. [Chomping]", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "My shack! My beautiful shack!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "The man knows quality work.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "All your hard work and grade-grubbing have finally paid off.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Well, we used to date. Plus, he threatened me.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "That 'Mom' stuff doesn't work on me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "I got him after a robber shot me six times and left me for dead.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm on TV. Fart.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "So we meet again, Mr. Bond. - Silence, Octopussy.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Where the hell's my grilled cheese?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Do they do any other tricks? - No. - Just the monkey then.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "I'm not handicapped. I'm just lazy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Enfeebled? Ooh, I know just the guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Mmm, I can't wait to eat that monkey.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "First on the chopping block- periodicals. - Boring.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Lock the doggy in the barn 'cause here comes dodgeball action.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Disqualification for use of dog-doo on a stick.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "'Zazz.' - What is 'zazz'? - 'Zing,' 'zork,' 'kapowza'", "c": ["TV Executive", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Bart's not exactly the brightest penny in the fountain.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "In English, Lisa.", "c": ["TV Executive"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Between you and me, he's, well... kind of dumb. [Whimpers]", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Monkey. There's a monkey in the house. - Relax. It's only Mojo.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "This 'filthy monkey' made the orange juice you're drinking.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "I won't turn to the comics. All right. I'll read one comic just to get me rolling. Archie.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "'Supreme Court reverses'- [Groans] I won't turn to the comics.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Honey, I'd love to reassure you... but right now Mommy needs a tetanus shot.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Sister, huh? [Chuckles] I've got a sister. Miss Big Shot CNN Washington Correspondent.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "This is the most prestigious award that Del Monte gives.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "It's the sound of children's laughter... silenced.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "A store that sells designer mouse pads.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "The monkey's on my part of the sofa. - Honey, he's clearly marked his territory.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Some say the ducks went to Canada. Others say Toronto.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Smithers- [Sniffles] You think maybe my power plant killed those ducks? - There's no maybe about it, sir.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "[Sniffles] Excellent.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "That wasn't news. That was sappy, manipulative drivel.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "This is where the tears would be if I could cry. But I can't. Botched face-lift.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "It's Lisa. - Maryann's better.", "c": ["Lisa", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "They'll be blowing their nose with a pancake.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Can anyone who loves animals that much really be crazy? [Screaming Gibberish]", "c": ["Lisa", "Cat Lady"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Stop that. You're a helper monkey. This isn't helping.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Some purists will tell you the American flag doesn't contain the word 'Jordache.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "That's what Veterans Day is for, Bart. - But is that really enough?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "They have two. - Well, maybe they should have three.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Well, maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "If I'm guilty of anything, maybe it's caring too much.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "His cholesterol's through the roof.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "[Computerized Voice] Pray for Mojo.", "c": ["Mojo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "[Nelson imitating farts]", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Oh, Bart. It's me, a jolly policeman. Come out so we can give you a medal.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "You can't create a monster and then whine when he stomps on a few buildings.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "You're right. It's all Willie's fault. I've been a terrible father.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "Major Nougat, Gooey, Cocoa... put down those entertaining Mattel products.", "c": ["Chocobot Character"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 21, "et": "Girly Edition"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Christmas-Hanu-Kwanzaa spend phase", "c": ["Corporate Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Mom-Dad-Grad gift corridor", "c": ["Board Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Christmas II", "c": ["Corporate Executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Spendover. Like Passover, but less talk, more presents", "c": ["Corporate Executive"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Lisa, don't you ruin another Love Day", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "They didn't have Lord Huggington? It's the same basic bear, Homie", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Nuh-uh. It isn't filled until it's spilled", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "I wuv you... Love you...", "c": ["Sir Loves-A-Lot bear"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Stupid trash. Rotten. Stinky. Hate world. Revenge soon. Take out on everyone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "You guys are the lousiest garbagemen ever! You trash-eatin' stink bags!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "I don't know. A lot of people were yelling stuff", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Didn't you learn anything from Love Day? That was yesterday, moron", "c": ["Garbageman", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Hey, I'd rather live in a dump than in a world run by snooty garbagemen", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "So long, chicken bone. See you in hell, brussels sprouts. No room for you, Jell-O. Good-bye, fine china", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Then you might want to close your windows before the sun hits Diaper Hill", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Look, Daddy. I'm the king of the mountain!", "c": ["Rod Flanders"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "That's not the way she tells it", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "It's like the measles. Good to get it out of the way", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I'm always secretly disappointed when you do", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "It's just like David and Goliath, only this time David won", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "[Thinking] Oh. I know. I heard it too", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "That rhymes, Marge, and you know it rhymes. Admit it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "But this isn't like a loan application or a will!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Oh, oh, oh, I get it. Put on a big show for the cameras. What cameras?", "c": ["Homer", "Patterson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Hey, stop that! You'll never silence me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Okay. But this is where you register as a sex offender", "c": ["City Hall Clerk"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "If you don't, he'll beat us. Why, you little- No one's gonna beat you, Son. [Softly] You're gonna get such a beating", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "What am I, the answer man? Just vote for me", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "You know, I don't know Ray Patterson, but he's no Ray Patterson", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Potato man. Where the hell have you been?", "c": ["U2 Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "'Cause I'd be the most wack tripped-out sanitation commissioner ever! Can you dig it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Can't someone else do it? That's perfect", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Aren't you tired of having to peel that last snotty Kleenex from the bottom of your wastebasket?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Animals are crapping in our houses, and we're picking it up. Did we lose a war? That's not America. That's not even Mexico!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Well, then you should have been early", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Well, then you'd better turn up your hearing aid, Pops", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "What button? What the hell are you talking about? What button? Where am I? Who took my false teeth?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "If I hadn't already packed my letter opener, I'd give you such a stabbing", "c": ["Patterson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "You told people I lured children into my gingerbread house", "c": ["Patterson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "You told people I lured children into my gingerbread house.", "c": ["Patterson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "You are going to crash and burn, my fatheaded friend.", "c": ["Ray Patterson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Oh, the garbageman can, Marge. The garbageman can", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "They let me sign checks with a stamp, Marge. A stamp!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "That's awful! I almost wish it were drugs.", "c": ["Worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Other cities don't want it, so they pay me to dump it in this old abandoned mine. That's awful! I almost wish it were drugs", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Marge! Ixnay on the ash holetray", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "You know, I'm not much on speeches, but it's so gratifying to leave you wallowing in the mess you've made. You're screwed. Thank you. Bye", "c": ["Patterson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "He's right. He ain't much on speeches.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "Moving the whole town five miles down the road. It's crazy! Yeah, it's something, all right. So we transplant the town. We're just gonna trash the new Springfield too", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny", "Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "How many spoons have you got now, Adam? Nine. If I didn't have my spoons, I'd go insane", "c": ["Adam", "Bono"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 22, "et": "Trash Of The Titans"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "They won't stop me from delivering these UNICEF pennies. Go, pennies. Help the puny children who need you.", "c": ["McBain"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Wow. McBain is really buffed up. You could grate cheese on those abs.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "That's what I call breakneck speed. [Laughs]", "c": ["McBain"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Mom, a man just died. [Groans] Anyway, it's time for the church picnic.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "What? They had a picnic last week. No, they didn't. You just brought a bucket of chicken to church.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "If God didn't want us to eat in church... he would have made gluttony a sin.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Ah, the joke's on you. We borrowed that jar from your table. So you just shot your own mustard.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Nice to see you, Homer. Yeah. Out of my way, whoever you are. You're blocking the food.", "c": ["Churchgoer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "How's my kite doing, Smithers? Oh, it's, uh, soaring majestically, sir.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "You're it. We'll see about that. After him, Smithers. Aaah! You're not it!", "c": ["Child", "Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Rod, ladies pick first. Okay. I choose... Todd.", "c": ["Lisa", "Rod"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh! Oh! Bart! Bart! Bart! Over here! Over here! Um, I'll take- Rick me! Rick me! Nelson. Saving the best for last, huh, Bart? Yeah. That must be it.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "We- Sports on a Sunday? Hmm. I better check with Reverend- [Lovejoy] Oh, just play the damn game, Ned.", "c": ["Ned", "Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Well, you'd be surprised. He gets pretty competitive when he's drinking. Come on, Dad. We're playing capture the flag. Sorry, Son. Daddy's down for the day. Why don't you go capture me some more potato salad.", "c": ["Nelson", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Flanders is playing? Why didn't you say so? [Grunting]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "[Sighs] Oh. It appears... I will have to find a new fortress of solitude.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Okay, Dad. They've got our flag guarded pretty good. I agree. Let's surrender.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "No. Wait. I have a plan. But I'll need your underpants. Hmm. All right. But don't lose 'em. They're my only pair.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "This isn't the flag. It looks more like- Ew! [Laughs] Suckers. Go, Dad!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Time out! Time out! Oh, I don't think he can get up. Let's egg him! Yeah!", "c": ["Homer", "Kids"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge. How could you let me let myself go like this? Me? I'm not the one who puts butter in your coffee.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Okay, honey. Okay. I'll start taking in all your slacks.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "I want you to keep this exercise thing under your hat. That way, I won't be embarrassed if I fail. [Barks] Oh, great. Now the cat knows.", "c": ["Homer", "Santa's Little Helper"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Look, Son. Daddy got in shape. [Exhales Deeply] [Groans] Oh. I've gotta keep trying. Or I could just move that picture. No. The picture looked good where it was.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "So what will it be, Mr. Simpson? Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with miniature pies?", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Oh, well, we do have some low-salt candy bars... and some reduced-fat soda. And our beef jerky is now nearly rectum-free.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. That is a new item. No bar contains more applesauce.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "[Mispronouncing] 'Gym'? What's a 'gym'? [Mispronounces] Oh. A 'gym.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Rainier Wolfcastle! Oh, I love your movies... and your Powersauce bars and your taught, rippling- Hey, hey, hey. That's enough.", "c": ["Homer", "Rainier"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Now step over to the Abdominator... and I will shout slogans at you.", "c": ["Rainier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Push. Harder. Go past the max. Reach over the top. Master your ass.", "c": ["Rainier"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Wow, Wolfie. Two months ago I didn't know what the word dumbbell meant. This place is great.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Hello, handsome. Nice muscles. Care for a rubdown? Oh! Well, I'm flattered but spoken for. Oh, what the heck. Give me your number.", "c": ["Woman", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Go ahead. Try and grab some flab. Go on! No. Not there. Not there either. Over here. I've got some. No. Here. Try my foot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Look at you people. Bart's a tub. Lisa's weak as a little girl. And Maggie doesn't seem to be growing at all.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "You too, Marge. If you toned up a little, you'd probably get a lot more action. [Clicks Tongue]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Homer, stop insulting us and eat your filth. Food. I mean food.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Sorry. I only eat food in bar form. When you concentrate food, you unleash its awesome power, I'm told.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "That's why I'm compressing five pounds of spaghetti... into one handy, mouth-size bar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "[Gulps] Hmm. [Beeping] [Line Rings] Hospital, please.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Homer, please remember to wipe your sweat off that machine. I got a terrible rash yesterday.", "c": ["Gym patron", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Yeah. He helped me blast through the burn and ride the zone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Picture this. You- I love it. climb the highest mountain in Springfield. The Murderhorn. Are you crazy? That's suicide.", "c": ["Brad", "Rainier"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Not for all the applesauce in Gl\u00fcckenschlabel.", "c": ["Rainier"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "My dad could do it. He eats 50 dollars' worth of Powersauce bars a day.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Overshoot the extreme. Max the envelope and so on.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "It's believable. That's what I like about it.", "c": ["Brad"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Uh, no. That's it over there. [Gasps] Yeah. That's it. Just to the right of the one you're looking at.", "c": ["Unknown", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "[Whimpers] [Homer looks at wrong mountain] [Whimpers] Oh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Sure. It was the winter of '28. The Butter Baby Flapjack Company sponsored me and a fella named McAllister.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Heroically, I gave him the last short stack.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Of course, folks were tougher in those days. I was jitterbugging that very night.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Hey. My hat has earflaps.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Wait. Is 'contempt' the word I want here?", "c": ["Brad"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "That's right, Brad and Neil. I only eat Powersauce, the bar with 'applesauceicity.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Don't touch my stuff. Dad, wait. You're not risking your life just to impress me, are you? Well, yeah. Oh, cool. Now get going. Chop-chop.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Oh, man. This is hard. Uh, Dad... shouldn't you save a couple bottles for when you're a little higher?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Don't get discouraged, Dad. Only four vertical miles to go.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Wow. Look how far I climbed. And I'm not even tired.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Brad, could Homer have made it this far... without the engineered nutrition of six kinds of apples? No way, Neil. Oh. This just in. Powersauce is amazing!", "c": ["Neil", "Brad"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Brad and Neil were quite insistent you not die. Frankly, we don't care.", "c": ["Sherpa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Then technically shouldn't you go back down and start all over? Shut up! You are so fired!", "c": ["Sherpa", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Wake up, Homer. Those bars are just junk. They're made of apple cores and Chinese newspapers. Hey. Deng Xiaoping died.", "c": ["Neil", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson, defying all medical advice... has switched to Powersauce's archrival, the Vita-Peach Health Log.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Doctors say he may not have the mega-nutrients needed to stave off death.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Oh, Dad's gonna die, and it's all my fault. I really need a good talking-to.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Air's getting thin. But I'm gonna make it. Ooh. Getting light-headed. Good. No heavy head to carry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Wait. I'll just take that escalator.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Wait. I'll just take that escalator.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "I did it. I made it all the way to- Aw, crap! It just keeps going! [Sobbing] I give up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Worse still, that treacherous skunk, Abe Simpson... stole my oxygen and tried to eat my left arm.", "c": ["McAllister (diary)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Tell my beloved wife my last thoughts were of her... blinding and torturing Abe Simpson. Cheerio.", "c": ["McAllister"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "My dad's a disgrace, just like Bart's dad! Me! [Sobs]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "This may not be the top, but it's as close as a Simpson's ever gonna get.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "This is for you, Son.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "I climbed the unclimbable mountain! Bow down before me, everyone, for I am your king!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Uh, I'm pretty sure he's dead, little girl. Here. Have a Powersauce bar. It's on the house.", "c": ["Apu", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Oh, no! He fell! I can't look! [Faint Shouting] Hi.", "c": ["Family", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Where in the world did you find a sled on top of the- [Screams]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "It looks like someone tried to eat him. What are you looking at me for?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "All I see is a pole. Maybe the flag fell off. Ah, damn it!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "Is that your wallet? D'oh!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 23, "et": "King Of The Hill"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Ha-ha!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Banks are open. Old people are walking the streets with impunity.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "And look! Barney's not even drunk yet. Morning, boys. Can't stop to chat. Time is money.", "c": ["Bart", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "those teachers are cooped up in school like morons!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Ah. No day would be completely wasted without a visit to the old joke shop.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "[Chuckles] Rookie mistake, Milhouse. [Groans]", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Hey, these don't work. Uh- Oh, a lead shirt. I'll take three pairs. Here's my prescription.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Maybe you can help me. I don't think my face is as hilarious as it could be. What can you show me in a nose or forehead accessory?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "If you put dog doo on the suction cups, they'll stick better.", "c": ["Shop Owner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Milhouse, I'm not gonna take dog doo that's been on the dirty ground and put it on my face. I have a better idea.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm awake! I'm awake! I'm a productive member of the team. You can't fire me! I quit! Please! I have a family.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "I was wondering if you had any industrial-strength adhesive I could use on my face.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "You can get a picture of your mommy with a mummy. [Giggling]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Whoops! There goes Carlsbad Caverns. Oh, well.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "In just 20 minutes we'll be in a three-hour line to see the Orb of Isis.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "In case of accidental ingestion, consult a mortician.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "At least, it would be for most families.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "In a few years when you're old enough to drive, then you can take a bus.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Well, you should've thought of that before I glued all this stuff to my face.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "She said something, but she was kind of in a rush to get Bart to the emergency room.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Well, if it would put your mind at ease, I could take a limousine. Although, that would cost $200.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "I know you had your heart set on a limo, but sometimes daddies have to say no, honey. I'm afraid you're gonna have to take the bus.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Ah, the old number 22. Clean, reliable public transportation. The chariot of the people. The ride of choice for the poor and very poor alike.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Are you gettir on this next bus, kid? - Yes. - [Whistles] Taxi!", "c": ["Bus Driver", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "It's the bus! The bus! Come on! You're gonna miss the bus!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Of course not, honey. That seat's for my coin purse.", "c": ["Bus Passenger"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Yes, if you can answer me these questions three. Question the first-", "c": ["Bus Passenger"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Yeah, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Tuesday, Thursday, it's the 22-A.", "c": ["Bus Driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Don't make me tap the sign.", "c": ["Bus Driver"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Aha! It's springtime, so the geese must be flying back north!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "See, Bart? There's another boy who played with glue. Actually, it was a plumbing explosion.", "c": ["Marge", "Doctor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "No, ma'am. This is Area 51-A.", "c": ["Guard"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. The location of this location is classified.", "c": ["Guard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "I seen it first! Ooh! Girlie Sue's gonna have a elegant weddir feast.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Never you mind, Brandine. You just go back to birthir that baby.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Them things can go off even after they's dead.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Young man, there's nothing funny about novelties. I mean, they're humorous and all, but, uh, this is certainly no laughing matter.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Why, if I had $75 for every novelty I've removed - Oh, by the way, I'll need a check for $75.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, heavens, no! It had to be terror sweat.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "It's what the ancient Egyptians call a souvenir.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "I mean, she's so smart they hooked her up to a big computer to try to teach it some things. But she had so much knowledge, it overloaded. And then it got really hot and caught on fire!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "That never, uh, happened, did it, Homer? Uh, yes.", "c": ["Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Khlav Khalash!", "c": ["Street Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "I am at work. This is what I do. Keep it moving, Marge! This isn't a parking lot!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Well, then get back to wherever it is you work, whoever you are.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Yoink! Ha-ha! Oh- Oh, great! Somebody stop that awful, awful man!", "c": ["Snake", "Vendor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "These are for you if you let me use your cherry picker. Well, I've already got some balloons, but they're not this nice. Deal!", "c": ["Homer", "Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Nah, I'll just walk it off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Stupid risks are what make life worth living.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "What do you say, honey? Feelir stupid? I know I am!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, like you're Miss Perfect! Mom, Lisa's making me feel bad! That shut her up.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Could you open the window? The cops have Daddy's prints on file.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Now I know how Sir Dudley Winthrop felt when he first fell through the ceiling and discovered the Temple of Isis.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "A velvet rope. Lisa, you can't go this far and then not go further.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "It's a music box.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh! So now it's 'we,' eh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "Dad, that's the Old Spice song. It is? Well, that's a good song too.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 24, "et": "Lost Our Lisa"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Look, honey, I clipped on my tie all by myself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Hey, look what was in here! A program from that guy's funeral.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "You mean Frank Grimes? - Yeah, him. Whatever happened to that guy?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "What are you doing? - Playing Hot Wheels. Ow! That had a guide pin in it.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "I'm not Bart. I'm Rod Flanders. - There you go with that smart mouth!", "c": ["Rod Flanders", "Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Lisa, run outside and cut me a switch. Yes, sir!", "c": ["Grampa", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Boring! I'll take you to a place that's really romantic.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "you'll see Homer and Marge 'Sampson' who are celebrating with us today their 11th air-niversary.", "c": ["Pilot"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 3.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Hey, Jose, easy up, huh? - Sorry. We were only hired to park cars.", "c": ["Homer", "Pilot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "You mean there's been cake in our freezer for 11 years? Why was I not informed?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge, wouldn't it be weird if they had little parties at night? - Wee little parties?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "you know, 'rock the casbah.' - Yeah, it seems like the thing to do.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "So, are you gonna- Oh. Did you want me to? Oh, no. No, I'm the guy.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Extended awkward intimacy sequence with interruptions and apologies", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Look who's here! - Ooh, who's a good boy? - He's the best boy!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge, wasn't that great when the dog came in here? - Oh, yeah! He's really special!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Hmm, that's queer. [Groans] - Homer, don't look! - What? Aaah! The food!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Why did this happen? Why? [Sobbing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Eh, I never thought I'd live this long.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Well, maybe you need... a divorce! [Gong Clangs]", "c": ["Radio Host"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "I'll get us out of this, honey. It's just gonna take a whole lot of floorir.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "And that's why today bananas are called 'yellow fatty beans.'", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Hey, are they pulling the plug on anybody today? - Nope, everybody's paid up.", "c": ["Bart", "Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "And that's how I earned the Iron Cross.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "That's my brass knee. Steel hip. That one's news to me.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "When you think about it, mud is nothing but wet dirt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "If somebody's in here, you're in for some serious ass forkin'!", "c": ["Farmer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Huh. Well, maybe they're in the media room.", "c": ["Farmer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Hey, public display! - Yeah, what's with the love thang?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Let's just say the country air did us good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "but what if this time we use it to buy things? You know, things we like.", "c": ["Pirate crew member"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "It's a bottle cap. - Jewel-encrusted?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Sorry, guys. Marge and I are spending the weekend at a bed-and-breakfast.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Nah, it'd just be awkward, what with the sex and all.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Yeah, I always figured Marge would be a dynamo in the sack, you know? Oh, boy, she's got legs from here to ya-ya!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Hey! Look at that! [Gasps] Oh, good Lord! - [Gasps] - [Screams] I'm so sorry. I saw everything.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Innkeeper"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "The fear of getting caught is kind of a turn-on.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "There's that dirty girl I married.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "There's that dirty girl I married.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Exactly. Now there's nothing left out there but treasure.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Wow! An alternate ending to Casablanca. - Bart, this could be priceless! - Priceless like a mother's love, or the good kind of priceless?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "It hasn't changed since that magical evening when I knocked you up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Yeah. I thought Bart would be born a dimwit! - Yeah.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Look out, Rick! He's packing heat!", "c": ["Movie character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Aye, aye, aye, where did you get this, ya shrunken old hag, ya? - I'm just a little girl.", "c": ["Studio Executive", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "We were just dopes in suits, not like today.", "c": ["Studio Executive"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "We tried to tack that happy ending on the picture, 'cause back then, well, studio execs, we were - we were just dopes in suits, not like today.", "c": ["Studio Executive"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Rod, you've got small, girlish hands. Reach in and fish it out.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "We're trapped! - Oh, why can't they just play through?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Who cares what it is? Let's monoxide it!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Boy, I'll tell ya. [Chuckles] They only come out at night. Or in this case, uh, the daytime.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "That's a shame. He had one day left till retirement.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Well, that's what I'm here for. I mean, you're young, successful, you're naked. You want a car with a radio, right?", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Yeah, the British tabloids will have a field day.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Ah, they stole the balloon! I've been living in there!", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "You go up and down, but not side to side, or back in time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "You mean this thing? - [Screams] No, that was not the thing. [Groans]", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Now quickly! Gaze down at God's fabulous parquet floor. Eyes on the floor. Still on the floor.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, look at that blimp! He's hanging from a balloon!", "c": ["Crowd member"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Why don't you take a picture? It lasts longer! - [Camera Shutters Clicking] - D'oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Uh, I was just trying to find Dave Barry's column. He's great. He pokes fun at life's little foibles.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "All those eyes... just leering and leering at us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "Huh. They're gonna feel so silly when they realize they forgot us.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 9, "e": 25, "et": "Natural Born Kissers"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Ha-ha!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Can't you just write on your arm like I do?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "These days, everything's done on computers. And staplers. Computers and staplers.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "'S' is for shiksa. S-H-I- Mmm-", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "I think there's a 'T' in there somewhere. Ah, look it up.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Don't you hate that we have to go back to stupid school tomorrow? - I like school. - Me too! We have so much in common.", "c": ["Alex", "Lisa", "Other student"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "You have a pen glued to your cowlick. If you don't like it, it's gone! [Strains, Groans] - Uh, you want this? - No.", "c": ["Alex", "Other student"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Yo, Apu, give me the usual. Yes, sir. One Kwik-E dog, one bubble gum cigar... and the latest issue of Success magazine.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Hey, this hot dog tastes different. Yes. I just cleaned out the machine, sir. So the snack you are enjoying has not been soaking in putrid grease.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Well, yeah. But without the grease... all you can taste is the hog anus.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "I'm so sorry, but I sold it all to the rendering plant. - People buy grease? - Oh, yes. They use it to make products such as soap, cosmetics, baby food.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Used grease is worth money? [Gasps] Then my arteries are clogged with yellow gold! I'm rich, Apu! Rich and- [Groaning]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Uh, Dad, I don't think the dog can handle any more bacon. [Whimpering] Looks like he's about ready for another squeezin'", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Santa's Little Helper"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Marge, if you don't mind, I'm a little busy right now... achieving financial independence. - With cans of grease? - No! Through savings and wise investments. Of course with grease!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Where do you think you're going? - It's the first day of school. - Not for you it isn't. You're in the grease business now.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Then the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy. And that's why it was the best summer ever.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Hey, blindy, have a nice trip.! [Ralph Screams] [Thud] Ha-ha.!", "c": ["Nelson", "Ralph"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "I need a volunteer for a thankless chore. Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson's? Thank you, Lisa.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "But when you get to the trophy case, give her some cock-and-bull story. They're out for cleaning or whatever.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Your name's Lisa? Shut up! I love that name. Did she just tell me to shut up? Take it outside.", "c": ["Alex", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Is that perfume? - Oh! Don't be such a Phoebe. It's Pretension by Calvin Klein.", "c": ["Lisa", "Alex"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Well, you'll definitely wanna get yourself a good doll. The new Malibu Stacy has an achievable chest.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Oh.Jacks. Jacks are big. They went out for a while, but then they came roaring back.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Uh, they were all wiped out in the big trophy fire.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Ah! I see the trophies are still out for cleaning, eh, Lisa? [Chuckling] [Forced Chuckle]", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Four pounds of grease. That comes to... 63 cents. - Whoo-hoo! - Dad, all that bacon cost $27.", "c": ["Grease dealer", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Yeah, but your mom paid for that. But doesn't she get her money from you? And I get my money from grease. What's the problem?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Um, I don't know how much more school I can miss. Oh, you'll miss plenty. I have a feeling this business... is going to consume our whole lives.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Ooh, twins. Which one is the evil one? [Laughing] [Forced Laughter]", "c": ["Alex", "Sherri and Terri"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "[Cell Phone Ringing] Just a sec. Hello? Oh, yeah. Like I'd be seen with a Discover card. - You have a cell phone? - And a purse!", "c": ["Alex", "Other students"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Maybe they went off to plan a surprise party for you. [Laughing] Oh, yeah. Good one, Mom.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Oh, and get this, Mom. She drinks iced tea.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "But, Dad- - Uh-uh. Think. Is that what Alex would say?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Well, maybe you can put them on your doll. [Laughter]", "c": ["Alex", "Other students"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "You forgot apple bobbing. - No, I didn't.", "c": ["Student", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "No, we weren't big on fruit. We were more into, like, dances. You know, things that are fun.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "I don't know. The ponies might be startled by the loud music. - Well, there wouldn't be ponies. - Oh.", "c": ["Lisa", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "School dance? I didn't approve any school dance. Yes, you did. Yesterday, right by my locker. - Oh, yeah. Yes. Um, carry on.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "There must be $20 worth of grease on his forehead alone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Can I help you, sir? My God, you're greasy! Mr. Maruko, help!", "c": ["Fast food worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "If she didn't want her car ruined, she should have done a better job hiding her keys.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Hey! What the- Hey.! Hey.! You're taking our grease.! - It's our grease now. - We run the grease racket in this town.", "c": ["Homer", "Grease bandits"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Hey, that's my shovel! We also run the shovel racket.", "c": ["Homer", "Grease bandits"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Just, you know, add some accessories, lip gloss, maybe drop five pounds.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "D.M.Y. - What's D.M.Y.? - 'Don't mess yourself.' - Ew! Yeah. That's why we changed it to D.M.Y.", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Am I the only one who just wants to play hopscotch... and bake cookies and watch The McLaughlin Group?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "You could raise some emus. Emus? Really? Oh, that's pretty crazy. Nah.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Emu farm? [Laughing] You're priceless, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "The thing about huckleberries is... once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned. Uh- Uh- So anyway, I kicked the guy's ass.", "c": ["Martin", "Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "No doubt. Can't a girl fabulize herself before the big dance?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "You've always had a crush on me, right? Well, this is your lucky day... 'cause you're gonna take me to the dance. Pretty great, huh? See ya.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "What am I doing? This isn't me. I'm sorry, Milhouse. I'm free next weekend! There's plenty of Milhouse to go around!", "c": ["Lisa", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, I know you're busy... seeing as how you can watch women changing clothes and all that. But if you help us steal this grease tonight... I promise we'll donate half the profits to charity. Dad, he's not stupid. All right, screw it. Let's roll!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Dad, he's not stupid. All right, screw it. Let's roll!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Lisa, I made you some homemade Pepsi for the dance. It's a little thick, but the price is right.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Oh, honey. A baby couldn't have organized a big school dance... unless it was especially skilled. Or one of those super-babies from Brazil.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "And if you sit there with a brave little smile and a festive bow... why, you could be the belle of the ball. Mom, you can't possibly believe that.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Uh, we're new foreign exchange students... from, uh, uh, Scotland! Saints be praised! I'm from Scotland. Where do you hail from? Uh, North Kilt Town.", "c": ["Homer", "Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "No fooling? I'm from North Kilttown. Do you know Angus McCloud? Wait a minute. There's no Angus McCloud in North Kilttown! Why, you're not from Scotland at all!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Stop pummeling me! It's really painful! All right, fine. I'll strangle ya for a while!", "c": ["Homer", "Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Mother has a june bug cornered in the basement, and she needs me to finish it off.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Oh, Lisa, it's terrible. Okay. This dance has gone Titanic.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Come on, Alex. We've only got nine, maybe 1 0 years tops... where we can giggle in church and chew with our mouths open... and go days without bathing. We'll never have that freedom again.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Huh? Look, it's snowing! Ah! The snowflake tastes like fish sticks.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "It's like a hamburger milk shake! Here comes a grease ball! [Grunts]", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "Hey, Luigi bring you kids free pizza. Why you have to make the fun? Huh?", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "You're playing in grease? Yarg! Oh, act your age. [Grunts, Chuckles]", "c": ["Willie", "Student"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 1, "et": "Lard Of The Dance"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Bill and Marty's 5:00 news 'flush' with toilet sound effects", "c": ["Bill", "Marty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "President Clinton's website URL innuendo", "c": ["Bill", "Marty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 3.98, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "76.2? But I'm already 38.1. I've wasted half my life.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Sir, do you need a tow truck? What are you talking about, Marge? I don't need a- [crash] Okay, send a truck.", "c": ["Homer", "Tow Truck Driver"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Wouldn't you rather have your sugar bag? No, I don't deserve sugar.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "No, Homer wasn't a great man... nor even an adequate man, and he certainly never accomplished anything.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Uh, President Lenny, you have anything to say? Nah. All right. Fair enough.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Lenny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "There goes a real sack of crap. Indubitably, old chum.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Promise me you won't vote for Lenny. Okay, but you've accomplished a lot.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "You know how many memories I have? Three! Standing in line for a movie... having a key made and sitting here talking to you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "You're 39. [Homer yelps]", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Oh. I see you're having a party. I'll come back later.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Maybe I can pinpoint where my life went wrong.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Ah. All we did was grow some space tomatoes and sabotage Mir.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Oh, I should've punted. Turn it off. Turn it off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "KITT's voice slowing down and dying mid-sentence", "c": ["KITT"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "You're a liar, honey- a dirty, rotten liar. Finish her! Finish her!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "It's true. I read it on a place mat at a restaurant. Really? A restaurant? Well, now I don't know what to think.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "They won't let me in the big people library downtown. There was some... unpleasantness. I can never go back.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "And look at him dance. [vocalizing and laughing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "No, not this one: The Smugglers of Pirate Cove. It's about pirates.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I think it's pretty obvious that I am. Go school!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "So, this broad stands up in the ocean... and this big wave knocks her bathing suit off", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "All I can think of now is Edison. I can't even remember where I work.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "He was a shameless self-promoter. Well, you're not Thomas Edison.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "That's it! That's why I haven't done anything with my life. I need to be more like Thomas Edison.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Do us a favor. Invent yourself some underpants.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "You said I should quit my job and become an inventor, or you'd torch the house. That doesn't sound like me.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Not the way I quit", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Not the way I quit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "You look at this table and what do you see? Just a table. Now a creative person like me looks at this table... and sees all kinds of creative things, but no tables.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Homer, that's not a table. That's our dryer. [Homer shrieks] My files!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Yeah, he invented stuff too. - Shut up.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Yes. Thomas Edison smoked several cigars a day. Yeah, he invented stuff too. Shut up.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Automatic- Butt. Fluorescent- Booger.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Both of you go to your rooms and spank yourselves. Lazy father. Can't even spank his own kids.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Lazy father. - Can't even spank his own kids", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I don't see why not. They're my kids. I own 'em. - Okay. We own 'em", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I guess because there's so much dolphin in it... and you know how smart they are.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Microcalifragilistics. [Professor Frink babbles]", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "You mean like an electric blanket-mobile?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Hamburger earmuffs!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Thanks, sucker!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "These babies will be in the stores... while he's still grappling with the pickle matrix.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "All-purpose electric hammer demonstration disaster", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "[Electric hammer shocking Homer] Probably needs to be more powerful.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Probably needs to be more powerful.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I'll buy 10 of those right now.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "This will sound every three seconds... unless something isn't okay.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "It can't be turned off. But it, uh, does break easily.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "It's for the woman who only has four-fifths of a second to get ready.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "It's for the woman who only has four-fifths of a second to get ready.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Homer, you've got it set on 'whore.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Now I have to go get my cold cream gun", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Women will like what I tell 'em to like.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "But now, with the Lazy Man Reclining Toilet Chair... you can just lean back and let 'er rip.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Sure. Believe me, every man in America will want to have one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Gangway! Gotta poop. No, Bart!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I'm not saying you're a bad inventor. I'm just saying these particular... inventions are awful... and no one in their right mind would buy them or accept them as gifts.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I guess I'm no better at being Thomas Edison than I was at being Homer Simpson.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I guess I'll just give up my hopes and dreams... and settle for being a decent husband and father.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I stuck a couple extra legs on there... 'cause I kept tipping over when I was trying to invent stuff. They're on hinges.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Safety sells, especially to lame-o's. I'd buy one. Me too.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Oh, damn it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Heard you swearin'. Mind if I join in? Crap, boobs, crap!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "So, we've got to go to the Edison Museum and smash it! Then I'll be an inventor.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "So, we've got to go to the Edison Museum and smash it! Then I'll be an inventor", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Ah, the hell with him. Yeah! Hell, damn, fart!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Oh, and later he raised turkeys. That was on his turkey farm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "By smashing my chair, you're only hurting yourself.", "c": ["Edison's Ghost"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Stop, Homer! By smashing my chair, you're only hurting yourself", "c": ["Edison's ghost"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "I'll get you, you fat lunatic!", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Just one: Thomas Edison. That's very good. And that's true too. It's funny and true.", "c": ["Museum Guide"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "How many geniuses does it take to invent a lightbulb? Just one: Thomas Edison", "c": ["Tour guide"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Invent your way out of this, Edison!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "You mean the wild mood swings?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Uh, I think that's in Italy, Dad. Oh. Well, then we'll take it out on Eli Whitney.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Authorities say the phony pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "That was your idea. This brilliant innovation is expected to generate millions... for Edison's already-wealthy heirs.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "Let's just say I'm sitting in the right chair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 2, "et": "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace"}, {"t": "All right, one for 'Resident.' - That's me! - Well, that's it. One stinkin' letter? Why'd you make us gather round like that? I needed my power fix.", "c": ["Mail carrier", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Mom, they put every kid in America in that book... just so gullible parents will buy it. It's all a big scam. - [Muttering] Shut up.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Are you sure? I can usually smell a scam from two towns over. - Yeah, Lise. She is a smart, sophisticated woman.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "[Grunts] Man, it feels good to get out of that car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "[Laughing] Look at me, Bart! I'm driving! - We're all proud of you, Dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Uh, are you all right, man? - Uh, I think so. - How about now? - [Screams] Ha-ha!", "c": ["Nelson", "Kid"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Stand back and watch the pro. - Shouldn't you put on a batting helmet? - Nah. They mess up my hair.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Hey! You're goin' down, you- [Groaning] Why, you-Aah! Hey, you- [Grunts] You better-Aah! I'm gonna-Aah! If you do- D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "[Lisa] Yes! A Maggie-oop! [Buzzing] Mm-hmm. - Hey, that's cheating!", "c": ["Lisa", "Maggie", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Two thumbtacks and a mustache comb. Or five rubber bands and an ice cube.", "c": ["Arcade employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "What can I get for 8,000 tickets? - A BB gun or an Easy-Bake oven. - Hmm. Hot food is tempting. But I just can't say no to a weapon.", "c": ["Bart", "Arcade employee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Whoa! Can I try that sometime? - Yeah, sure. Never hurts to have a second set of prints on a gun.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Nelson's a troubled, lonely, sad little boy. He needs to be isolated from everyone. - But, Mom- - Yes? - That's all I got.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Mustache comb. What'd you get? - Fake mustache. - Wanna comb it? - [Groans] This sucks.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "I do what I want when I want. Oh, God! Inchworms!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "My mom's got bigger problems. She doesn't give a crap what I do. - Wow, you are so lucky.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "You're not going out without a scarf, are ya? - Nah, I don't need one. - Hmm. It's your health.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "That's my dad's shootin' car. Just three more payments and it's ours.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "First, how about I try and peg you in the stomach? - Mmm, no, thanks.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "You're an octo-wussy. 'Whoa, look at me! I'm Bart Simpson! I'm scared to use a gun! I want to marry Milhouse. I walk around like this-' # La la la-la la #", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. - Whoa! Major shot! You even compensated for the crooked sight.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Ohh! I hate folding sheets. - That's your underwear. - Well, whatever it is, it's a two-man job.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Milhouse! [Milhouse Shouting] What? Tell Bart to come home! I think he's at Nelson's!", "c": ["Homer", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, yes, and punish Lisa for lying to us. - All right, young lady. March yourself directly to the Kwik-E-Mart and get me some chips and a beer.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Get a little somethin' for yourself, sweetheart.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Shall we bury it or chuck it into a car full of girls?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Relax, Simpson. It was either him or you. No court would convict you.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Dear Lord! We just wanted you to put fresh newspaper on the tribunal floor! We're knee-deep in our own droppings. It's disgusting.", "c": ["Bird tribunal"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "[Groans] Oww! What are you doing? - I got bored, so I started slapping you.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "All right! Finally, a real home! - Not you. Bart.", "c": ["Nelson", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "What are those cats doing behind you? - [Yowling Continues] Uh, cats like me?", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "What's the point, Bart? I punish and I punish and I punish, but it never sinks in. So you know what? Do what you want. You wanna play with little hoodlums? Fine. Have fun killing things.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Hi, little eggs. I'm not sure how to tell you this, but your mom was involved in an incident. Mistakes were made... by me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "You may remember me from such nature films as Earwigs- Eew! and Man vs. Nature- The Road to Victory.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Of course, one thing mother blue jay can't defend against... is a set of steel tongs. [Squawks]", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "If they're to survive, they require the gentle warmth and tender love... that only a mother can provide. Or better yet, a 75-watt bulb.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "They look awfully hungry, Mr. McClure. - They sure are, Billy. In nature, their mother would regurgitate food for them to eat. - That's gross! - [Laughs] It sure is, Billy. It sure is.", "c": ["Troy McClure", "Billy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Wouldn't it be easier to just buy one? - Perhaps on a librarian's salary.", "c": ["Library patron", "Librarian"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "[Clicks] D'oh! [Screaming, Groaning]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Check it out, guys. I've been working on this regurgitation thing. [Retching] Oh, yeah! Hope you like Pop-Tarts.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "I think I'll call you Chirpy Boy. And you, BartJunior. And you can call me Mother. No, wait, that sounds kinda fruity. Just call me Mom.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "What do you think he's doing up there? - I don't know. Drug lab? - Drug lab? - Or reading comic books. What am I, Kreskin? You tell me what he's doing.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "I don't know, and I don't want to know. And I'm going to find out.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "This is the most exciting thing I've seen since Halley's comet collided with the moon. - That never happened, Dad. - Sure it didn't.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Hmm. It's starting to cool down. I'll bake another pie. - Ooh, how about cherry this time? - And would it kill you to make some coffee?", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Actually, it took 53 hours. - Really? Well, the time just flew by, didn't it?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "I see a foot. - I see an eye! - I see a neck! - I see a horn! A horn? [All Sigh] [Both Hissing] [All Gasping, Screaming]", "c": ["Simpson family"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Sure, they are. They came from eggs in a bird's nest, therefore they're birds. 'Ickso fatso.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "One- they don't have beaks. Two- they don't have feathers. And three- they're lizards! - You're a lizard!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "You cannot count birds that you've seen at the zoo, on stamps or in dreams. - Well, I'm back to square one.", "c": ["Birdwatcher leader", "Birdwatcher"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "My God! A pigeon! That's the last bird on my list. [Chuckles] So long, suckers.", "c": ["Birdwatcher"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "I'll just get those killed and you can be on your way. - [Gasps] Wait! What the heck are you doing? - My civic duty, that's what.", "c": ["Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "My civic duty, that's what. - Wait! What the heck are you doing?", "c": ["Bird Expert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "It's already wiped out the dodo, the cuckoo and the ne-ne... and it has nasty plans for the booby, the titmouse, the woodcock and the titpecker.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Kill the horrid beasts. Then do away with their lizards.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "They must be exterminated as quickly and gruesomely as possible.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Out of the way, Midge. - Oh, am I in the way? - Yes, yes, you're in the way! Are you daft, woman? - Sorry. I didn't realize I was in the way. - You're still in the way. You don't seem to be moving at all.", "c": ["Moe", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Oh, for cryin' out loud, just knock her ass down. - [Moe] Way to shove, Edna. - [Apu] Let us roll.", "c": ["Moe", "Edna", "Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Don't use that look on me. I invented that look.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "You killed 'em! - [Groans] Good riddance to bad lizards.", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "Go, Chirpy Boy! Go, BartJunior! - Oh, nuts! - Wow. Did you know they had those webbed flaps for gliding? - Yes. But I was hoping they didn't know that.", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "It seems the rapacious reptiles have developed a taste for the common pigeon... also known as the feathered rat, or gutterbird.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards. - But aren't the snakes even worse? - Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat. - Then we're stuck with gorillas! - No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.", "c": ["Skinner", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "I don't get it, Bart. You got all upset when you killed one bird... but now you've killed tens of thousands and it doesn't bother you at all. - Hey, you're right.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 3, "et": "Bart The Mother"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Homer's signature exclamation after what appears to be a car accident]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Let's see how she handles. [Chuckles] Oh, yeah. Tame it, baby.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Hey, 'Pu, you got a breakfast cereal for people with syphilis?", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "First, you torched that orphanage, then you blew up that bus full of nuns. Hey, that was self-defense.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Snake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Well, you'll be seeing lots of nuns where you're going, pal- Hell! Because the penalty for strike three is death.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "You kids crack me up.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "from the producers of When Skirts Fall Off and Secrets of National Security Revealed", "c": ["Ed McMahon"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "How come they only do crucifixions during sweeps?", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Dibs on the liver!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "This is genuine human hair. This is legal, right? Yeah, sure. Whatever.", "c": ["Dr. Nick", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "If your fly weren't open, you'd look just like Roger Moore.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "I know you are, but what am I?", "c": ["Homer/Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Looks to me like he suffered a lot, Chief. Ah, geez, Lou. How long were you gonna let me keep drinking this thing?", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Shut your squeal-hole, booze jockey. I'm gonna, like, totally waste you.", "c": ["Homer/Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Filthy old bartender Moe Szyslak has watered down his last highball.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Stop it. You're killing me!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Oh, please, Lisa. Everyone's already figured that out.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "More than a lush head of hair? Don't make me choose!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Apu Nahasa- pasa- Ah,just Moe.Just Moe.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Now that's what I call a bad hair day.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Oh. Wait. I just got it. Bad hair day.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Sorry, but if I let you watch one of these gruesome Halloween cartoons... I'd be a pretty lousy mother.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Going where?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Don't you ever get tired of being wrong?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Hey, Lise, we're characters in a cartoon. How humiliating.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Hey. They're laughing at your pain. That's mean. Let's teach 'em a lesson.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "To protect and sever", "c": ["Background/Visual"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Hey, hey! Wiggedy, wiggedy. Poochie's in the house.", "c": ["Poochie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, this cilantro really gives it a zing! Reg, there's no cilantro in it.", "c": ["TV Host", "Regis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Aw, somebody's in love. That means you'll have to be neutered.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Here comes the flying saucer. What's wrong with Stinky? She's teething. Look. Her very first baby tooth.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Look, Marge! Maggie lost her baby legs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Fire, and lots of it. Oh, that's your cure for everything.", "c": ["Dr. Nick", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Oh, that's your cure for everything.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Holy flirking shnit. What's the message?", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Hello- Oh, great. Mormons. Actually, we're Quantum Presbyterians.", "c": ["Homer", "Kang/Kodos"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "You intergalactic hussy! How could you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Warning! Warning! Prepare to be abducted.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "You may choose either the backseat of a Camaro... an airplane bathroom, a friend's wedding... or the alley behind a porno theater.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "I absolutely refuse to go along with this. But since I have no choice, I'll take the alley.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Really? That seemed awfully quick. What are you implying? Nothing. Nothing.", "c": ["Marge", "Kang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "It made me angry,Jerry. Angry and tired.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Don't forget Ken Starr!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Ix"}, {"t": "Homer dreaming he's Yogi Bear: 'Hey, Bart-Bart... looks like a beautiful day to swipe some \"pic-i-nic\" baskets.'", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Bart as Boo-Boo: 'But, \"Homi,\" Ranger Ned's not gonna like that.' Flanders as ranger gets mauled by bear Homer", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer waking up: 'I was having the most wonderful dream. I had a hat and a tie, with no pants on.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Lisa: 'Actually keeping promises would make you a good father.' Homer: 'No, that would make me a great father.'", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "'Aw, 4:00 a.m.? Now I'll never get back to-' [immediately starts snoring]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer crashes into Ned at the lake: 'Hey, Homer. Enough traffic for you?' [Homer's neck audibly cracks]", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer: 'Hey, pfft. Screw this. Hang on, everyone. We're taking the old Simpson shortcut.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer eating berries: 'Ugh! Pesticides. Carbamate, if I'm not mistaken. Yep. Carbamate.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer: 'Way out in the sticks like this? It could only be hillbillies. So I suppose that's a hillbilly Jacuzzi. Yep. That's where they cook up their vittles.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Couldn't put it down. Come on, boy. Let's get me a six-pack.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Boat attendant: 'You can't operate a boat under the influence of alcohol.' Homer: 'Oh, that sounds like a wager to me.'", "c": ["Homer", "Boat attendant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer parasailing: 'Faster, Marge! Faster. The snapping turtles are massing.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Apu: 'Oh, dear. You have ruined my work, you flying fat man.'", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer: 'I'm soaring majestically, like a candy wrapper caught in an updraft.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer: 'I wanna look down on the clouds with contempt. I wanna sneer at God's creation and spit on his-'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer crashes on Kim Basinger: 'I know you. You're Kim \"Basin-jer.\"' 'It's Basinger.'", "c": ["Homer", "Kim Basinger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer to Kim: 'Well, I am a married man.' Kim: 'You're crushing my husband.' Homer gasps: 'Billy Baldwin!' Alec: 'I'm Alec Baldwin.'", "c": ["Homer", "Kim Basinger", "Alec Baldwin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "'Why don't you just move to, say, Bethesda?' 'Not phony enough.'", "c": ["Homer", "Kim Basinger", "Alec Baldwin"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "'We've been living off congratulatory muffin baskets.' Homer picks up zucchini muffin: 'Blech! Zucchini.' 'Don't just put that back in the basket.' 'I'm gonna eat it later.'", "c": ["Alec Baldwin", "Homer", "Kim Basinger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "But you just read that card from the Gersh Agency. - I recognized the logo", "c": ["Alec", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer offering to help: 'Will you promise to keep our secret?' 'Absolutely, if you promise to keep mine.' 'What is it?' 'I can't read.' 'But you just read that card.' 'I recognized the logo.'", "c": ["Homer", "Alec Baldwin", "Kim Basinger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "But you just read that card from the Gersh Agency. - I recognized the logo.", "c": ["Alec Baldwin", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer to Apu: 'I'm about to purchase some weird and fruity items, and I don't want any guff.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer listing fancy mushrooms: 'Portobello. Porcini. Chanterelle. And Shiitake.' Apu: 'Okay. We have none of those.'", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Apu: 'These exotic items are suspiciously different from your usual order of beer and pork. What gives?'", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I'm just broadening my horizons. By the way, do you have extra-wide bumper stickers for a Humvee?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer polishing Oscar: 'When you win one, you can take care of it however you want.'", "c": ["Homer", "Alec Baldwin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm Ron Howard. - Ron Howard? - Yeah. I'm looking for Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.", "c": ["Ron Howard", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm Ron Howard. - Ron Howard? - Yeah. I'm looking for Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger", "c": ["Ron", "Homer", "Ron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, it's the only town in America that'll let me fish with dynamite.", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer meeting Ron Howard: 'Really? You giant stars consider me a friend? Well, for the first time in my life I feel like I'm somebody.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Ron Howard: 'Do I smell vodka? And wheatgrass?' Homer: 'It's called a lawn mower. I invented it.'", "c": ["Ron Howard", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer, when did you become a member of PETA? - Well, you know me. I love animals- Beef, chicken, veal.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer answering phone: 'Imagine Films. A division of, um, Homer Co.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "If you're not part of the solution, Marge, you're part of the problem. - That's not what PETA stand-", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer as fitness instructor: 'Keep those knees rigid. Jerk that lower back. Force it. Whip that neck.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer's movie script: 'It's about a killer-robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Ron Howard: 'Ron Howard's attached to direct.' 'I am not.' 'Well, he expressed an interest.' 'No, I didn't.' 'Did too.' 'I did not.' 'You lie!'", "c": ["Homer", "Ron Howard"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "'This is only 17 pages and several of the pages are just drawings of the time machine.'", "c": ["Kim Basinger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Well, if Alec is out, I'm out too. You're on your own, Potsie.", "c": ["Kim Basinger"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Moe at bar: 'When was the last time Barbra Streisand cleaned out your garage? And when it's time to do the dishes, where's Ray Bolger?'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Kent Brockman? Please. - Oh, what? I suppose you've seen a bigger star. - I might have.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer: 'Tell the people, Homer. They have a right to know about the celebrity summer house.' 'Who the hell are you?' 'What do you care? I'm telling you what you want to hear.'", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Yes! In your freckled face, Howard", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Ron Howard playing badminton: 'My God - The lemonade. Look at the lemonade.' [Glasses shaking like Jurassic Park]", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Comic Book Guy to Kim Basinger: 'Those red pumps you wore in L.A. Confidential were fabulous. Where can I get a pair for my, uh, mother? She wears a 12 double-E.'", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Kim Basinger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Where can I get a pair for my, uh, mother? She wears a 12 double-E.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer being rejected: 'But the next time you want someone to remind you which brother is which, or smell your hair while you're sleeping... just remember, old Homer won't be here anymore.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Who is it? Is it anybody? - No, no. It's nobody. Throw your stones. It's nobody.", "c": ["Crowd", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer at dinner: 'When Kim makes a Manwich, she uses focaccia bread. And would it kill you to put some fennel in it?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Alec Baldwin? Wow! That is the coolest person you've ever been fired by.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Bart: 'And you kids aren't exactly John and Joan Cusack.' Lisa: 'Ankle? Focaccia? What are you talking about?' Homer: 'See? It's like we don't even speak the same language anymore.'", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Was it the dog from the Beethoven movies? - Of course not. - Our dog isn't famous.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "The only one who understands me is that guy who married Martha Raye", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "I'm about ready to ankle this family. - Ankle? Focaccia? What are you talking about?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Attention, starstruck fools. Step right up and see the world's greatest mobile collection of Alec and Ron and \"Kim-o-rabilia.\"", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer's celebrity memorabilia truck: 'You heard right. Twenty dollars.' Barney: 'Oh! Hundred-year-old stuff.'", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "'That's right, \"Mr. Tough Guy\" can't handle a little penicillin.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "We can't even pay our bills, and they're drinking Royal Crown Cola.", "c": ["Unknown customer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "'When was the last time Barbra Streisand cleaned out your garage? And when it's time to do the dishes, where's Ray Bolger? I'll tell ya. Ray Bolger is lookin' out for Ray Bolger!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "And we just tossed him out like a Golden Globe award.", "c": ["Alec Baldwin"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Ron Howard: 'I've got to admit, I miss the way he used to tuck us in and kiss us on the forehead.' Kim: 'Forehead?'", "c": ["Ron Howard", "Kim Basinger"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Discussing Homer's movie: 'What, are you crazy? It's a buddy picture. Without the pie, it would just be me on screen for two hours.' 'Oh, yeah, and you'd hate that.'", "c": ["Alec Baldwin", "Ron Howard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Yeah. Everyone makes mistakes. I mean, we'd want another chance if one of us ever made a bad film, right? [Birds Singing]", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer at the lake imitating Kim Basinger: 'Ooh, look at me. I'm Kim Basinger, the big movie star. I'm so beautiful. I think I'm so great. I'm too important to take Homer to the Oscars.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Let's get him. - And this time it's personal. What? It is personal. He's got our underpants", "c": ["Kim", "Alec", "Alec"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Alec Baldwin jumping between cars: 'Uh, gee, I'd love to, but I'm not really wearing the right shoes.' [Kim makes chicken sounds]", "c": ["Alec Baldwin", "Kim Basinger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer in court: 'I believe that famous people have a debt to everyone. If celebrities didn't want people pawing through their garbage and saying they're gay, they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "'The public owns you for life, and when you're dead, you'll all be in commercials, dancing with vacuum cleaners.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Homer making crank call: 'Hello? Old lady from Titanic? You stink!' [giggles]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "Hollywood executive discussing Homer's script: 'It's about a killer-robot driving instructor that travels back in time for some reason.' 'I'm listening.' 'His best friend's a talking pie.' 'Sold! Howard, you've done it again.'", "c": ["Ron Howard", "Hollywood Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 5, "et": "When You Dish Upon A Star"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "One bouillon cube. One Concord grape. One Philly cheesesteak. And a jar of garlic pickles. No one will want to kiss me after these, eh, Smithers?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Well, it's their loss, sir.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "No. Those people are all gristle. I want this jar open.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Worthless old geezers. Phew. Next!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Would you like me to drain Simpson while he's passed out, sir?", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "A talkie, sir? Yes. Brilliant. That's just the kind of far-out gimmick we need.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "What about chestnut roasting? People always need chestnuts. Or begging. I know a place that'll saw your legs off.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "You dunderheaded stooges are the worst bunch of-", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Well, it's better than that last Barbra Streisand movie.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "I didn't quite get the point of it. Why would Lenny want someone to saw his legs off?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "I didn't choose to be a gifted actor, Marge. It chose me. I'm merely a vessel through which genius flows.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Fat Guy Number Three?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "You know, I have no idea... How should I know?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "It was your mother's job to name ya and love ya and such. I was mainly in it for the spankin'.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Serves her right for bein' a '60s radical! Though she was a demon in the sack.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "No. Homer Simpson does not lie twice on the same form. He never has, and he never will.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Yeah, but they were all part of a single ball of lies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Great. I'll go shoot myself for bringing this up.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "There's a pond for skinny dippin', a tire for skinny swingin'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "I can actually feel the good vibrations. [Bee stings him] Ouch.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Your mother dragged us both to that godforsaken lovefest!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Boo! Bring on Sha Na Na!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Shame on you, boy! Put some damn pants on and then pull 'em down! 'Cause it's time for a spankin'!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Get a load of Captain Bring Down.", "c": ["Seth"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Never! What you need's a good long hitch in Vietnam! There must be an enlistment tent around here somewhere.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "If I'd have left it up to your mother... you'd have ended up in a hellhole like this... just lyin' around, never workin'... without a care in your head... full of long, luxurious hippie hair!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Lather, rinse and repeat. Always repeat.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "HomerJ., will you teach us to make love?", "c": ["Hippie Girls"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "And a demon in the sack. [Both chuckling] Ah, you heard about that, eh?", "c": ["Seth", "Grampa"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! My middle name is right behind that shrub. I'll finally know what 'J' stands for. From this moment forth, I will be known as Homer... Jay Simpson!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Get off of there, Ginsberg!", "c": ["Seth"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Uh, you might want to wash that. The dog has a lot of skin and bladder problems.", "c": ["Munchie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "I'm gonna let my spirit soar... and love all of God's creatures. Get up, you stupid dog!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Hey, peace, man. Far out. Groovy. I'm a hippie.", "c": ["Bob Hope"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "I got you a date with the perfect flower child- Phyllis Diller.", "c": ["Jill St.John"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Bummer. Love-in. Dean Rusk. By George, I've got it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Your potato? You can't, like, own a potato, man. It's one of Mother Earth's creatures.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "No way, narc! Bodily functions are a natural thing. Not to mention hilarious.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Like the whole shaving trip. Come on! I want to see those legs all furry and gross.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Free the Springfield two, Marge! Free the Springfield two!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Come on, Maude! The human wang is a beautiful thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "We've got everything we need right here. Good times. Sunshine. Free love.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Oh, we were on a break. Time is money, man.", "c": ["Seth"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Peter Fonda must be spinning in his grave.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Look. We can sit here all day and play the blame game... or we can start freaking people out!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "I drive a Saturn.", "c": ["Seth"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "In a way, the '60s ended the day we sold it- December 31, 1969.", "c": ["Seth"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Fine. I guess the juice business is more important than the ideals... our hippie forefathers refused to go to war and die for.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Hey, we'll call it a business trip and write off the mileage.", "c": ["Munchie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "It's that pair of Dockers you wanted. 48 waist with the balloon seat, right?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Fifteen years of loyal service, and this is how they tell me? A jester with an invisible proclamation.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Your Frisbee jammed the juice-ilator, Homer. Our entire shipment is ruined!", "c": ["Seth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Uh, uh, pretty, uh, freaky, huh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "You're not a hippie, and you never were. Please, Homer... just leave us alone.", "c": ["Seth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "How could you let me turn into you? Bu-Bu-But the poncho!", "c": ["Homer", "Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "A spokesman attributed the production shutdown to a half-witted oaf.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Ah, it was sweet of those guys to blame an oaf... but really it was my fault.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "No, really. You're lazy and self-righteous. And the soles of your feet are jet-black.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "But then I found the other garden behind the barn... the one with the camouflage netting.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Well, now the whole town can benefit from their nutrients.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Willie, you complete me.", "c": ["Ferguson (imagined)"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Oh! Thanks, Pinky! You've always been there for me.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Pucker up, Ned.", "c": ["Maude"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "The electric yellow has got me by the brain banana.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "My God! It's nothin' but carrots and peyote. Damn longhairs never learn, Chief.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "You can smash this drug barn all you want... but first you'll have to smash our heads open like ripe melons!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Uh, mine's stuck on twirl. Oh, for the love of- There.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "Look at yourselves. Pointing guns at your fellow man. Hatred is a cage that keeps us from soaring free.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "If that had been a gladiola, he'd be dead right now.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "I'm a doctor, not a gardener.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "I buried Flanders.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 6, "et": "Doh In In The Wind"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "A... Men-nonite minister will be giving a guest sermon next Sunday", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Don't make me come up there / Let me outta here. The guy never stops talking", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Mom, can we go Catholic so we can get Communion wafers and booze?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "No one's going Catholic. Three children is enough, thank you", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "He zinged you, Marge", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "I feel guilty coming here every Sunday and never actually buying anything / Why? We're following the rules. If it has a toothpick in it, it's free", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Soy substitute. 'Whizless' cheese. Oven-roasted cud. It's packed in its own drool", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Oven-roasted cud. It's packed in its own drool.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Those suck! I hate this store! I hate you too! I wanna live with one of my dads", "c": ["Gavin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "So, you say this product is known as 'fudge'? / Yes. Just like it was last week / If you're gonna get snippy, I'll take my business elsewhere", "c": ["Customer", "Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "'Jerry Garcia'? 'Honey Bono'? 'Desmond Tutti-frutti'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "'Candy Warhol.' 'Xavier Nougat.' Naw. Nothin' made of dead guys", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Lisa getting trapped in freezer and shivering", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "'Sherbert Hoover'? We've gotta get you home to a warm blanket and a cold compress", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Eight dollars a pound times, say, oh, five pounds is, um- Let's see. How many pounds in a gallon? Oh, I can't afford that", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Eight dollars a pound times, say, oh, five pounds is, um- Let's see. How many pounds in a gallon?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "I buy an eight-dollar lobster... fatten it into an 80-dollar lobster and eat the profits", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Lobsters need saltwater. / I'm way ahead of you", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Dad, the fish! / Son, I'm still fine-tuning. Uh-oh. Perfect", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "I'm afraid I can't allow that. / Lisa! / Mom! No, wait. We can make a deal", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "You don't have anything I want", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Oh, you shouldn't be watching The Learning Channel. You need to take it easy. / But I'm hardly learning at all", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Why don't you play with one of Bart's video games instead? Hugh Downs says they're the latest craze", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Foolish dingo. You must find and devour the seven crystal babies... or spend eternity trapped in deep didgeridoo!", "c": ["Video Game"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "What? Nunchakus? Those aren't even Australian", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Yes! I am just four power wands away from an antigravity lozenge", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Is this my house? / No. You live in a different house", "c": ["Ralph", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Okay. Together, we weigh 300 pounds. According to my driver's license, I weigh 140 pounds. That means that you weigh, oh- 160 pounds!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Oh! You're doin' great. No, no. Yes, that's it! Bite! Bite! Bite!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "How do I get that kind of credibility? / With eight years of scrupulous honesty. / Eh. It's not worth it", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "But I- I might infect the other kids. / That's a risk I'm willing to take", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Game over, mate", "c": ["Video Game"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Mr. blank needs a blank in order to blank his blank. Oh, I am in deep blank", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Weren't you at Brown, Otto? / Yep. Almost got tenure too", "c": ["Skinner", "Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Brown. Brown. Brown.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "It's a little something I whipped up in shop. Mostly latex", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Well, if it was me, I'd just take the zero / But that's not for everyone", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Relax. There's nothing here you didn't see when dad boycotted pants", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Hey, hey. These are study aids. They're for novelty purposes only. If a few bad apples use 'em for cheating, I can't be held responsible", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Good for you, lass. I got me a zero once, and my life turned out just fine. Ach! Whoa-ho! That's a nasty clog", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Good news, my delicious friend. You're going to be a free-range lobster", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "I can't stay mad at such a helpless little mammal", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Oh, look at him cower. Just like the boy. I can't stay mad at such a helpless little mammal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "No, Ralph. That's an 'F.' I must have spilled some Kahlua", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "No. That's Drambuie. Mmm!", "c": ["Miss Hoover"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "But, Marge, look at this little guy / [Growling, Hissing] / Looks like an ordinary- Ow! Son of a-", "c": ["Homer", "Pinchy", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Pardon me for asking... but where the hell's my stupid lobster? / We're not eating Mr. Pinchy. He's part of the family now", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "It just turned up in the course of my daily rummaging. By the way, I oiled the hinge on your diary", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Oh! I am sick of everyone being so proud of me! That's my girl.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "You got a good grade without even reading the book. That's win-win. / Can't you see the difference between earning something honestly... and getting it by fraud? / Hmm. I suppose, maybe, if, uh- No. No, sorry. I thought I had it there for a sec", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Can't you see the difference between earning something honestly... and getting it by fraud? Hmm. I suppose, maybe, if, uh- No. No, sorry. I thought I had it there for a sec.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "I'll give you the numerators free... but the denominators are gonna cost ya", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Well, la-di-da, Lady 'Cheaterly.'", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "To be honest, I'm surprised and saddened- N-No. Not 'saddened.' What's the word? - Ah, yes. 'Delighted.'", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Well, then, one could make the argument... that there really is no problem", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Now, now. Leave the money out of this. It's not the money's fault you cheated", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "[Loud Explosion] Skinner! I am outraged that you've kept this from me. You were supposed to call as soon as the new scoreboard was in.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "This school was once classified... the most dilapidated in all of Missouri. That's why it was shut down and moved here, brick by brick", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Who can tell me the atomic weight of 'balonium'? / 'Dee-licious'? / Correct. I would also accept 'snack-tacular.'", "c": ["Teacher", "Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Hi, Lisa. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers. / I'm 'learnding.'", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "How many can I put you down for? A lot? Please say a lot. I need this. / The wolf's at old Gil's door", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "These Colecos will rust up on you like that. Shut up, Gil. Close the deal. Close the deal", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "We stress tough love- daily chores and the like. / No. We're not sending the lobster away to some snobby boarding school", "c": ["Sea Captain", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Who among you can honestly say you've never cheated? On your wives or your husbands", "c": ["Comptroller Atkins"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "And where I come from- Canada- we reward courage.", "c": ["State Comptroller"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "I'll be in my trailer. / Oh, good old predictable Lisa. I knew her conscience was a ticking time bomb", "c": ["Actor", "Skinner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Oh, good old predictable Lisa. I knew her conscience was a ticking time bomb.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "I know a liquor store where we can cash this right now", "c": ["Actor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Sorry, Marge. Pinchy got all dirty in the yard chasing birds. But don't worry. I put him in a nice hot bath", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Sorry, Marge. Pinchy got all dirty in the yard chasing birds. But don't worry. I put him in a nice hot bath.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Oh, man, that's good. Oh, pass the butter. [Sobbing] Are you gonna eat that all by yourself? Uh-huh. Pinchy would've wanted it this way", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Oh, God! That's tasty. I wish Pinchy were here to enjoy this. [Sobbing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 7, "et": "Lisa Gets An A"}, {"t": "Now with 30% more gunfights. And 40% more rootin'-tootin'. And the tumbleweeds tumble at 2:00, 4:00 and 6:00... plus a midnight tumbling on weekends.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Three cheers for your father. Hip, hip- Mom, don't. Hip, hip- We heard you the first time. Hip, hip- Hey, I'm trying to drive here.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Hey, Dad, that light says 'check engine.' Uh-oh. Tape must've fallen off.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "There. Problem solved. [Engine Backfires] Oh, come on! Relax. She just needs a little lovin'.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Ah, they remembered my birthday.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Two hours? Why'd they build this ghost town so far away? Money. That's why everybody does everything.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Founded by prostitutes in 1849... and serviced by prostitute express riders... who could bring in a fresh prostitute from St.Joe in three days...", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Three minutes! [Whistles] I never realized history was so filthy.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Then we'll visit the cathouse, the brothel, the bordello... and finally the old mission. Oh, thank heaven! Lots of prostitutes in there.", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "And these planks below us were often used as a sidewalk... by people who may or may not have been bandits.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Do we have to listen to you? Well, no, you don't. But if you have any interest in history- I'm done.", "c": ["Homer", "Tour Guide"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Hey, robot, get your fat metal ass down here! First of all, I'm not a robot. And second, I got this metal ass in 'Nam... defending this country for lazy jerks like you.", "c": ["Homer", "Bartender"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Let's see. One, two, three- Six whiskeys. We only serve sarsaparilla, mac. No alcohol. [Groans] You can get drunk when we get home. Duh.", "c": ["Homer", "Bartender", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "[Robot Voice] Hey, these cards are marked. Now look what you've done. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.", "c": ["Robot", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "What the heck is this? A tea party? Somebody kill somebody! [Grunts]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "What is it with you and robots?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Oh, that's cute! Did you get it in the souvenir shop? No, that security guard is handing 'em out.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "There's Old Curly. He played the town preacher until we laid him off. But he still hangs around. Help me, please. I'm sick. [Laughing]", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Curly", "Tourists"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Homer! But it's funny, Marge. The guy's sick.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "It 'angries' up the blood. You like it, huh? Up yours!", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Can I go to the bathroom before we leave? We gotta get home. I don't want to miss Inside the Actor's Studio. Tonight it's F. Murray Abraham. But I really need to- F. Murray Abraham!", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Can I go behind a tree? What are you? An animal?", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Please go back! You can make it my birthday present. We're almost home, Dad. Only a couple more times over the horizon. But I might explode!", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "You just sit back and relax. / I'm not gonna let anything happen to my old dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "This man's kidneys have exploded. There's nothing left. Oh, no! Yeah, that's what happens when you get older. It's one of those natural things. Beautiful in its way.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Family", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Doctor. I think I know a little something about medicine. Homer, with all due respect, this X-ray reveals a textbook kidney blowout.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "So you're saying I don't need a new muffler? I don't feel so good. Maybe I oughta eat something. Oh, I'm afraid your eating days are over. [Laughing]", "c": ["Homer", "Grampa", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "How long do I have to live, Doc? [Laughs] I'm amazed you're alive now. Oh, I blame myself for this. We all blame you.", "c": ["Grampa", "Dr. Hibbert", "Homer", "Family"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Well, you could give him a kidney. A kidney? Okay, fine. I said fine. What is it about the word 'sure' you don't understand?", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Hmm, I'll take the left one. It's good and springy. Though the right one's not without its charms.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "[Gasps] Apes-A-Poppin'! Whoo, the airline version.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Ahh, I'm the luckiest man in the world... now that Lou Gehrig's dead.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "No, no, no. Makin' polenta- that's a procedure. You're talkin' about deadly, life-threatening surgery here. / Really? Do you think it's dangerous?", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "It's not an operation, Moe. The doctor says it's just a procedure. No, no, no. Makin' polenta- that's a procedure. You're talkin' about deadly, life-threatening surgery here.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Plus they'll put you on one of those organ donor sucker lists. Everybody who wants an eyeball or a spine or a vestigial tail will be after you.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Can I have your buttocks? I mean, if you die. They look pretty comfortable. And are those your original lips?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Oh, Homer, that was just a beer can with a whistle glued to it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Oh, but I don't want them cutting up my soft, supple body. Why didn't somebody tell me what I was volunteering for?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "This is everybody's fault but mine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "'Jack and Jill went up the hill and- Jill came tumbling after.' The end. Good night.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Say, how about a little NyQuil? [Gulps] All gone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Those bedtime stories began my lifelong love affair with the printed word.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "But if I die during the operation, will you do one thing for me? Oh, anything, sweetheart. Blow up the hospital.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "But if I die during the operation, will you do one thing for me? / Oh, anything, sweetheart. / Blow up the hospital.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Hmm. Well, I said I'd do it, so I guess I'll have to. That's my girl.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Hmm. Well, I said I'd do it, so I guess I'll have to. / That's my girl.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "We gotta get rid of that window.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "I can't imagine Dad running away like this. / Leaving his father to die? Even I wouldn't do that. And I'm America's bad boy.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Even I wouldn't do that. And I'm America's bad boy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Not like those mean old mountains. I hate them so much.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Well, if you look closely, you'll see this is a taffy shop shaped like a ship.", "c": ["Shop Owner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Oh, I like taffy, but I don't deserve taffy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Krusty here to cheer you up... as part of the hospital's Last Laugh program. / Last laugh?", "c": ["Krusty", "Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Oh, boy! Ooh, looks like we're both short on time.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "If you don't have a captain, I could be that. Arr! What other ships have you been on? I've been on that one. The taffy shop.", "c": ["Homer", "Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Welcome aboard the ship of... lost souls. The name on the back says Honeybunch. Yarr, I've been meaning to paint over that.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Who are we? No one. Where are we sailing? Nowhere. Do we even exist? Who knows?", "c": ["French Sailor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Hey, let me off this thing. / Oh, don't listen to him. We exist all right. We wander the seven seas trying to forget. / Forget what?", "c": ["Homer", "English Sailor", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, go. I don't want you walking around during my story.", "c": ["English Sailor"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "So one day I stole a loaf of bread... put it in the freezer until it was very hard, then robbed a bank with it.", "c": ["Sailor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "And when Mr. Dinkley saw what I had done... I was banned from the car wash forever.", "c": ["Sailor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Come, stranger. Join our circle of infamy. Tell us your story of ennui.", "c": ["Sailor"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Good Lord! Oh, how could you! I think I'm going to be sick. I stole this accordion from a blind monkey. But you! [Spits] You disgust even me!", "c": ["Sailors"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Good Lord! / Oh, how could you! / I think I'm going to be sick. / I stole this accordion from a blind monkey. But you! [Spits] You disgust even me!", "c": ["Sailors", "Sailor"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "That's the last time I trust the strangest people on Earth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Even the sea won't forgive me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Larry Hagman took it. He's got five of them now. And three hearts. We didn't want to give them to him, but he overpowered us.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Shelbyville Hospital!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Grave nothin'! I never felt more alive! / [Laughs] / [Bones Cracking] / Oh, boy, I shouldn't have done that.", "c": ["Grampa", "Grampa", "Grampa", "Grampa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "While we were setting your broken bones and putting your blood back in... we helped ourselves to a kidney and gave it to your father.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Don't you dance out that door, you-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Yes. You've shortened your life significantly... so someone else can have a slight extension of theirs.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "Yes, tickling.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 8, "et": "Homer Simpson In Kidney Trouble"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Roger Corman's Titanic", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Now I can relax and take off this stifling bikini", "c": ["Man in movie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Well, I'd rather get a message than see another lousy commercial", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con", "c": ["Phil", "Alien announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "the gay robots of Star Wars", "c": ["Alien announcer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Oh, you stupid little tramp. You're so boring. I hate you!", "c": ["C-3PO"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Well, beats work / Yeah, beats school", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Are you sure this is a sci-fi convention? It's full of nerds", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Hi, Lisa / Hey, Lisa / Guten Tag", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Other nerds"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "[Weakly] Hi.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "This is one small step towards firing your ass!", "c": ["Astronaut heckler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Oh, the pain, the pain. The pain of it all", "c": ["Dr. Smith impersonator"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Silence, you nickel-plated nitwit!", "c": ["Dr. Smith impersonator"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Danger, danger, Bart Simpson", "c": ["Robot"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "A, that is not water. It is diet Mr. Pibb. And B, I- ooh", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Comb the Sweet Tarts out of your beard and you're on", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Don't try to change me, baby", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "As you can see, you stand to save up to 17 cents a month over the more dependable providers", "c": ["Mark Hamill"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "You stupid nerds! He's trying to save you money on long distance", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "My whole life has been leading to this moment", "c": ["Fan"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "With the acting and the groupies and the 'Luke, Luke, save me' with the light saber and the 'vwing, vwing, vwing'", "c": ["Fan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "That's not how you 'vwing'", "c": ["Another fan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Oh, God. Can't this town go one day without a riot?", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Ya! Gadzooks! Where are my bodyguards?", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Is there anything fluffier than a cloud? If there is, I don't wanna know about it", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "You know, George Lucas makes me pay for these", "c": ["Mark Hamill"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Not the hair! Back off, you freakin' dweebs", "c": ["Mark Hamill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Nerds!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson, nerd-buster", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Never! [saves Mark Hamill]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "How was I supposed to know it's not a real spaceship?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Forget Maggie. She's gone / I've got Maggie", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Hey! I thought you twisted your ankle", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Who else you gonna find to take a bullet for you? Or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?", "c": ["Fired bodyguard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "I'll tell you who. Him!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! / I said, 'Whoo-hoo.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Not to your family. Not to your country. Not to 'Moo-hammad.'", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Even during Ramadan? Shut your sass-hole, boy.", "c": ["Homer", "Instructor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "These melons represent your protectees", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "[Slurping] What?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "[Homer eating the melon while instructor talks]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Well, your dive wasn't bad, but I just didn't believe your 'No!'", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Remember, your 'No!' is what gets you your next job", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Now drop and give me 20. / No! / Better.", "c": ["Instructor", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Not one of you fit to guard a Russian rock band", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "However, your checks have cleared, so you all graduate. Congratulations.", "c": ["Instructor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "The pig is in the poke", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "I really don't care for that code name", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Look out, Marge! Cat!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Hold it. What's your clearance? / We just wanna get a snack. / Access denied.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "They'll be fine in half an hour", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Quick, honk at that broad", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Homer, why didn't you say you was with the mayor? Shove off, pukeholes!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Mmm, semi-imported", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "We're working on that roach situation. I swear to God.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "We're working on that roach situation. I swear to God.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "And I ordered a double-double, but they gave me the double-double-double-double", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "That 'change' was a bribe", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Sure the mayor takes a few bribes, but he also makes the trains run on time", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "No, he doesn't. Trains are regulated by the federal Department of Transportation", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "However, in the future I would prefer a nondescript briefcase to the sack with a dollar sign on it", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Hey, I called that. I saw it first. Come back here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Crap on a crust!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Rats? I'm outraged. You promised me dog or higher", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Hey! My milk. I traded my math book for that", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Can I still drink it? / Go nuts", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "You wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "All right, stay calm. I'll just use the body to stage an elaborate farce a la Weekend at Bernie's", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "His corpse is climbing the building / I'm alive, you idiot", "c": ["Homer", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Did you know that this is how F.D.R. met Eleanor?", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Did you know that this is how F.D.R. met Eleanor?", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Six queens. / Not so fast. Seven queens.", "c": ["Mobster", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Six queens. Read 'em and weep. Not so fast. Seven queens.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Mobster"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Right, right. Filthy I-talian-Americans", "c": ["Police Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "The mayor's office is not for sale", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Can you, uh, edit out the laughs?", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Can you, uh, edit out the laughs?", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "I am not so much disappointed as I am blinded with rage", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Oh, what are you gonna do, call your godfather, huh? 'Oh, Godfather'-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Oh, what are you gonna do, call your godfather, huh? 'Oh, Godfather'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Run free, little vermin. The city is yours.", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "the circle of life is complete.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Everyone loves rats, but they don't wanna drink the rats' milk?", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "if I were Fat Tony and, God willing, some day I will be", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry about that, boy. He's already out on bail", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Bart, would you go start Daddy's car? Homer!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "I was thinking of a quiet evening at home with the, uh- [sighs] wife", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Yes! / Why do you talk that way? / I had a stroke.", "c": ["Ma\u00eetre d'", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "All right, Fat Tony. If it's trouble with Quimby you're after- / Please. I am only here as a devotee of the lively arts", "c": ["Homer", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "You moron! That's the kiss of death", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "You moron! That's the kiss of death. Oh, no! Wait. Maybe I didn't do it right.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Ah, au gratin potatoes. That's a quality side.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Nathan Detroit would never wear this. And this song isn't even in the show", "c": ["Mark Hamill"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "I don't have time for this. I got 75 shortcakes to strawberry.", "c": ["Mark Hamill"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "I want the mayor dead. I want his wife dead. I want his cat and his dog dead", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who is before the cat?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Just kill the mayor. Y-You're not mad at me, are you?", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "But I'm just here to kill- [gets pulled into dance number]", "c": ["Assassin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "But I'm just here to kill-", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "I think I saw him in Rent or Stomp or Clomp or some piece of crap", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "You never even finished Jedi school", "c": ["Assassin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "The Force? / The forks. Use the forks.", "c": ["Mark Hamill", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Nobody messes with the mayor when Homer Simpson's on- Oh, crap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "I'd say you were luminous, magnetic. Incandescent.", "c": ["Mark Hamill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "Shoot. I forgot my light saber. Oh, wait. Here it is.", "c": ["Mark Hamill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 9, "et": "Mayored To The Mob"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "I'm just thinking of my employees - All the cardsharps, bottom dealers and shills.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "They're managing your chain of nursing homes, sir.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Gone are such headliners as Little Timmy and the Shebangs... the Shebangs, and the New Shebangs, featuring Big Timmy.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "All right! Here comes the implosion. 'Implosion'? But I thought you said- [Crowd Clamoring]", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Hockey puck! Don Rickles zinged you, Marge.", "c": ["Don Rickles", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "I'm okay, but the Puerto Rican guy's trying to steal your hubcaps. Just kiddin; I'm a nice guy.", "c": ["Don Rickles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Aw, what's the rush? Might rain next week.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "You listen to your friends, but you never listen to me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Cover up your eyes and drop your britches. Who wants wax?", "c": ["Car wash attendant"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "No hablo ingles, senor.", "c": ["Car wash worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Seals and Crofts? Pablo Cruise? Air Supply? Whoa, ho. Loggins and Oates. And it's free.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "What kind of music do they play? Crap-Rock? No. Wuss-Rock? That's it.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Hey, how did 'Churchy LaFemme' get half price?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "You see, 'Saint Flanders' is as crooked as you or me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "That's right. It's my sad duty to rat out this man for defrauding a car wash.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Now, I'm not a fancy, big-city lawyer - [All Gasp]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Aah! It burns!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "You've never licked maple syrup off your lover's stomach?", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Yeah, even the boy in the bubble had a deck of cards.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Some people like chunky peanut butter, some like smooth. Mm-hmm, and some people just steer clear of that whole hornets' nest.", "c": ["Ned", "Maude"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Am I that pre-diddly-ictable?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Help! We're being carjacked. Don't get clever, old man. Now take us to Dress Barn.", "c": ["Elderly couple", "Carjacker"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Do I remind you of troubled troubadour David Crosby? No, you remind me of silly billy Ned Flanders.", "c": ["Ned", "Maude"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Would a silly billy sit like this? [Snap] Ooh! Rod, Call Dr. Stein.", "c": ["Ned", "Maude"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Well, well, well. So Flawless Flanders needs help from Stinky Pants Simpson.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Wellity, wellity, wellity. Stop that!", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Oh, my stars. I can't do that.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "You're livin' up here. You gotta live down here, in the impulse zone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "You're livin' up here. You gotta live down here, in the impulse zone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Homer, they blew that up yesterday.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Thanks, buddy. [Snickers] Sucker.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "It's-It's all designed to inflame the senses. I'm overstimulated. I gotta get out of this town.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "The lights, the noise, the letter 'X.' It's all designed to inflame the senses.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Help me! [Screams] My daughter's not talented. [Groans]", "c": ["Various Vegas performers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "When I wanna laugh, I'll take Bob Saget, thank you very much.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "You mean the one with the red paint? Uh, yeah, paint.", "c": ["Homer", "Performer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Well, actually, there are several rockets mounted to the- Boring.", "c": ["Stunt coordinator", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Hey, Flanders, don't spill my beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Oh, I think someone just had his first taste of bloodlust.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Let's see. What's Marge's birthday? Barney's is July 15, same as Lassie's... so Marge must be 50- Oh, forget it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Seven, eh? [Man] Seven a winner. Way to go, Flanders. The Bible's finally pulling its weight.", "c": ["Homer", "Dealer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "[Man With Deep Voice] Keep Gaming. What? It means gambling. Keep gambling.", "c": ["Deep voice", "Ned"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "How do you do it, Homer? How do you silence that little voice that says, 'Think.' You mean Lisa?", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "I'll have a Shirley- No, a virgin- No, make it a children's- Oh, what the heck. You only live once. Give me a white wine spritzer.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Well, of course. It- [Screams] Who are you? Who am I? I'm Mrs. Ned Flanders.", "c": ["Ned", "Ginger"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Boy, you did have a lot to drink last night, 'Homeo.'", "c": ["Ginger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "I okilly-dokilly, 'schmokilly' do.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "The bad news, ladies, is we already have wives. Well, you can't be very happy with them if you married us.", "c": ["Homer", "Ginger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "You two fellas are the nicest husbands we've ever had - And we're not giving you up without a fight.", "c": ["Ginger", "Amber"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Geez. I've never seen anyone so whipped so fast. [Imitates Whipcrack]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Having two wives could have its advantages. Chop, chop, dig, dig.", "c": ["Homer", "Ginger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Ooh! A friendly bee. [Screams] Ow. That sting hurts so much.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Blame me if you must, but don't ever speak ill of the program. The program is rock solid. The program is sound.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Why did I bet the company payroll? Oh, Gil's in a lot of trouble.", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Cold-hearted Homer, ditching his wife while ancient Ned runs for his life. Chips of red and blue and white, but we decide which-", "c": ["Moody Blues"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Well, I only saw them from the back 'cause they were so busy gang-probing you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "Well, I only saw them from the back... 'cause they were so busy gang-probing you. Not the eyes! My eyes! Cover your eyes!", "c": ["Homer", "Ned", "Birds"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 10, "et": "Viva Ned Flanders"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Let's welcome two new additions to the team... Smash Diggins and Fishbone Walker. Lucky for us, they were sent down from the majors... for drug violations.", "c": ["Dennis Conroy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Why do you hate the Isotopes so much, Dad? Because I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you, sweetie. Never love anything. Even you? Especially me.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "That's right. Like my mother always said... you've gotta stick it out, even if you picked a loser. Hmm. To the bitter end.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "His career's over. I'm gonna warm up the car. But there's only been one pitch. And it sucked.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Of course, he's no Babe Ruth III... but the franchise is very excited about this illegitimate great grand bambino.", "c": ["Dennis Conroy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "And what's this? He's pointing to the right field bleachers. Probably at a dying little boy.", "c": ["Dennis Conroy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Mom, am I dying? No, of course not. Is he, Mom? You can tell me. No!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "So who won? The losers? No, they lost. [Chuckles] Losers.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "You'll be in your cold, cold grave before that ever happens.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Homer, would you please stop talking about the children's graves?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Did Moe finally blow his brains out?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Yeah, that sniper at the all-star game was a blessing in disguise.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "I want to thank Jesus and say hi to my special lady, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "They lost? Those losers! No, no, no. The game's not over. Whoo! Not over! Whoo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Ah, nobody touched my rumaki. [Screams] Rumaki!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Hey, who's on first? Touchdown!", "c": ["Barney", "Patron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "What did you do last night? Last night? Um-", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Mm, uh, hello, big Maggie. Yes! Yes! Yes!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "That's why we're jumping to the conclusion that this was the work of no-good punk kids.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Any kid caught on the street after dark will be shot... or returned to their parents, as the situation may warrant.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Serves you little punks right. Maybe next time you'll think before- Oh, my God! Look what those rotten kids did to my car!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Sure you do. You have the right to remain silent. [Both Laughing] That was cold-blooded, Marge. Yeah.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Well, if kids are so innocent, why is everything bad named after them? Acting childish, kidnapping, child abuse. What about adultery? Not until you're older, Son.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Achtung, babies! Curfew is in effect!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Oh, uh, sorry to disturb you, Dr. Hibbert. [Deep Voice] Not at all, officer. [Laughing]", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "When was the last time you played Citizenship? Energy Shortage? Hippo in the House? Ooh, the Game of Lent!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Fine. We'll play Hippo in the House. Oh, the hippo's missing. [Both Groaning]", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "She's got problems. Scary problems.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Your metabolism will change someday too, young man.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Well, you gotta spend money to make money, Lou. Mm-hmm.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "You robbed me of my manhood! That's petty theft. [TV Audience] Ooh! Don't go there.", "c": ["TV Characters"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "But even the new management of Sony TriStar... could not contain the pure evil of... The Bloodening.", "c": ["Movie Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Milhouse, do you see what's on Channel 6? Uh, yeah. It's really something. [Screams]", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Life insurance? Hmm. Will I be able to borrow against the equity? I don't know, sir. It comes free with the popcorn.", "c": ["Skinner", "Concession Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Skinner! We're losing valuable make-out time. [Giggles]", "c": ["Edna", "Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Actually, we prefer to stay. You're thinking about hurting us. Now you're thinking... 'How did they know what I was thinking?' Now you're thinking, 'I hope that's shepherd's pie in my knickers.'", "c": ["Movie Children"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Man, I never liked Shakespeare until now.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "And you pilfered the poor box. And, Doctor, we know that you and the bootblack... have been rogering the fishwife in the crumpet shop.", "c": ["Movie Children"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Take that, you suckers! Stick him with the pitchfork! Way to go! In your face, fishwife!", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Listen up, punks. The moral of the story is... the adults always win. For crying out loud, Eddie. You scared the hell out of me.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Eddie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Don't forget to clean under the jowls. That spot is Club Med for mildew.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "And let this be a lesson to you! Kids never learn! [Snickers]", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Homer's done a ton of crap that never made the papers. My mom shoplifts all the time. Stuff she doesn't even need. My dad gets in car accidents on purpose.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse", "Nelson"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "No! We have to reach people whose opinions actually matter. And I think I know how.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "200 channels, nothin' but cats.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Tom Shales says the writing 'snaps, crackles and pops.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Constable Wiggum likes to act tough... but he also likes to walk the beat in control-top panty hose.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Well, it's not like that's a crime. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Did you know he likes to eat out of the Flanders' garbage? Oh, Homer. I have a problem.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Well, at least they've already done me. And we have plenty more on Homer Simpson. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Our top secret tonight- gay divorcee Luann Van Houten... has been cheating on her boyfriend, Pyro... with his best friend, Gyro.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "I have captured the signal and am presently triangulating the vectors... and compressing the data down... in order to express it as a function of my hand. They're over there!", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Brilliant. They transduced amplitude modulation... via the concavity of that oversized beverage conveyance. I mean, that is some clever 'viving.'", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "We promise we won't kill ya. Speak for yourself.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "This is Kent Brockman reporting from... my own home... in accordance with the new curfew for anyone under 70.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "This is Kent Brockman reporting from... my own home... in accordance with the new curfew for anyone under 70.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "You really should've voted, Homer. [Scoffs] It wouldn't have made a difference.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "Hey, fellas! Hey, you wanna stop with the kicking? My pills are in that can! Good gravy! I don't kick your things.", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "When you're trying to breathe on the machine, do I go up and kick it? Oh, now look at that. It went down the sewer! You happy? I'm gonna sue now! Now it's time for the lawyers!", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 11, "et": "Wild Barts Cant Be Broken"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Homer screams after car crash]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "I did until we came here last year.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Wow! It's ours?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "'Legends of comedy,' my tuchus! What has Fatty Arbuckle done that I haven't done?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "postalistic", "c": ["Postmaster Bill"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Those are citizen relocation codes. With any luck, we'll never need 'em.", "c": ["Postmaster Bill"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "She's onto us. Should I flood the chamber? - Not yet. Let's get some lunch.", "c": ["Postal Workers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "You ever gone on a killing spree?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "The day of the gun-toting, disgruntled postman shooting up the place went out with the Macarena.", "c": ["Postmaster Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Well, I'm just glad I work at an elementary school.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Bingo! Birthday card! - Graduation! - Ding-ding-ding! Wedding!", "c": ["Postal Workers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "I got some dog food! I got my letter to Santa.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "A coupon book? What am I gonna do with this piece of junk?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Doughy's has terrible pizza. - Yeah, but there's two!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge. That's just a trick to get you in there, so they can cure your foot pain.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Me and my Val-U-Qual book are gonna paint the town red... with savings!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "And I'll cap it off with a smooth, refreshing colonic.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "You hear that clunk? - No. - That tells me you need four new tires.", "c": ["Tire Shop Worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "You gonna let this man drive out of here on unsafe tires? - No, boss, I swear. - That's it. You're fired!", "c": ["Boss", "Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Oh, if I could only turn back the clock and buy four new tires.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "You came in for the free wheel balance and now it's costing you 500 simoleons. - Six with the tip.", "c": ["Wally", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "alignment, shocks, Armor All, stem lube. - [Laughing] Stem lube.", "c": ["Wally", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Even I didn't fall for that, although winter is coming.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Oh, don't remind me. Friends helping friends, my ass!", "c": ["Wally"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Bronco Nagurski didn't get no bye weeks. And now he's dead. Well, maybe they're a good thing.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Me? Nah. [Gasps] Unless there's a coupon for it. Nah.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Dang! That was my last quarterback. Now what am I gonna do? You! - Me? - Yeah, you. Get your hand off my wife's leg.", "c": ["Wally", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Oh, absolutely. My favorite team's in it. The Atlanta Falcons. Yeah, ever since I was a boy, I've always loved the Atlanta Falcons.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Yeah, I hear that President Clinton is gonna be watching with his wife, Hillary.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Come on, Lenny. I need four more guys to fill my Super Bowl bus. - What do you say? - Nah. - Come on! - Nah. - Oh, come on! - Ah- Yes!", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Yes! Now that Lenny's in, Carl will fall like a domino.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "My dream has always been to see the Bolshoi Ballet.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah. Do we have any pencils that work?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Yeah, not a dame in sight. Oh, thank God. Now we can stop holding it in. [All Sighing]", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "All Men"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Aw, crap. It's that pip-squeak Rudy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Forget it, kid. You're too small to go to the Super Bowl. But what I lack in size I make up for in... obnoxiousness. [All Cheering]", "c": ["Homer", "Rudy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Or me. Better ask me.", "c": ["Wally"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm bored too.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "It's so rigid and uncreative. - Okay.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Oh, leather craft. - Oh, those poor, helpless cows!", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "What about clay? You got any problem with clay?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Vincent Price's Egg Magic. Wow. What are we waiting for?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "All right, all right. You guys have had way too much booze. Last call.", "c": ["Wally"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "The guys made kind of a mess in your bathroom. - What bathroom?", "c": ["Homer", "Stadium Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "I don't wanna be a Panicky Pete, but it's Sunday and I haven't been to church yet.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "No problem. The N.F.L.'s got you covered.", "c": ["Wally"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "And that the wandering Oakland Raiders may someday find a home.", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Cool! The N.F.L.'s oldest surviving player. - I'm 53 years young.", "c": ["Bart", "Player"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "So, Ned, you like dune buggies? Well, not my cup of- Sure you do. Everyone likes dune buggies.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Coming through. Friends of Dan Marino.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "I'm catching a pass from Dan Marino. This is the greatest moment of my- Whoo-hoo! Homer Simpson with a pick!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Oh, honey, that is egg-ceptional.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "I can't believe Vincent Price would lend his name to such a shoddy product.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Mom, this was made in 1967. They're probably out of business.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Hello. This is Vincent Price. [Gasps] It's Vincent Price! I thought he was dead.", "c": ["Vincent Price", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "You should know the grave could never tame me. [Sinister Laughter]", "c": ["Vincent Price"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "And now I must return to the sweet embrace of the crypt. But I'll be back. [Sinister Laughter]", "c": ["Vincent Price"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "So, is he alive or not?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Scalping tickets to the Super Bowl. Have you no shame, sir? I should give you a royal caning.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Yeah, see, the hologram's missing and there's no such team as the Spungos and finally, these seem to be printed on some sort of cracker.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Stop eating our tickets!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Yes, if by 'crestfallen' you mean 'kill us'.", "c": ["Wally"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Have I told you that I love you? Forget it. You'll just hurt me like all the others.", "c": ["Homer", "Scalper"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Ow! - [All] Yea! As a doctor, I'd say he's had enough. But as a football fan- [Cheer Building Up] [Screams]", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "The Catholic Church- we've made a few changes:", "c": ["TV Commercial"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "These Super Bowl commercials are weird.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. So by the process of elimination, this one is the fake. [Groaning] That's painful.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "No, no, no. I know my roars. And that was most definitely a safety.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Gosh, fellas, to see you all stuck in here when even guys in China can watch all the action from their town squares or what have you, well, I just feel pretty doggone bad.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "If they were electing a president of Dumbville, I'd have to nominate me.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Me? I'm Dolly Parton. - I didn't ask for your life story. Just give me the key.", "c": ["Dolly Parton", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Yeah. I book a lot of package tours to Dollywood and EuroDollywood. - That's in Alabama.", "c": ["Wally"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "You guys are following me? I was following Flanders.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "I'm Rupert Murdoch, the billionaire tyrant. And this is my skybox.", "c": ["Rupert Murdoch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Tell you what, Mr. Murdoch. Let's just split the difference. The boys and I will just crouch here quietly and take it easy on the snacks- Silence!", "c": ["Homer", "Murdoch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Whoo! I'm going to Disneyland! Really? 'Cause I'm a travel agent and I've heard nothing but bad things.", "c": ["Player", "Wally"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Hello. This is President Clinton. - Hey, how you doing? Your determination and grit under extreme pressure are an inspiration.", "c": ["Clinton", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Hello? Hello? I command you to answer me! Hello?", "c": ["Clinton"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "I'll probably give it to my wife. It's our anniversary today. [All Sighing]", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "'Cause you can really 'go places' in the travel business. - Huh? Feel free to use that one. - What one?", "c": ["Wally", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Did it strike you as odd that in a Super Bowl show with Dolly Parton we didn't see any football or singing?", "c": ["John"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "What a way to treat the loyal fans who've put up with so much nonsense from this franchise.", "c": ["Pat"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "Now, I'll tell you- that doesn't make a lick of sense! I know. Just get on the bus.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 12, "et": "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Door? Locked. Phone? Unplugged. Dog? Cat? Taped and corked.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "All in the Family 1999 - They got me livin' with an African-American, a Semite-American and a woman-American there! And I'm glad! I love youse all!", "c": ["Archie Bunker parody"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Networks like animation 'cause they don't have to pay the actors squat! Plus they can replace them, and no one can tell the diddly-ifference.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "It's hard to believe someone that young could have risen to the rank of admiral. Gee! I never thought I'd say this about a TV show, but this is kind of stupid.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Let's get this bank back to our hideout, and we'll break into it later.", "c": ["TV Criminal"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "It's the cops! Worse. The police cops.", "c": ["Criminal"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Tell me one thing mankind's ever done that's any better. The Renaissance. This is better.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "And that's the end of that chapter.", "c": ["TV Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "His name's like my name!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Well, let's just say I... hate crime.", "c": ["TV Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Did you see the way Daddy caught that bullet? That's not really you, Dad. Don't confuse Daddy, Lisa.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "like that guy named Anthony Michael Hall who stole your car stereo.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Y'ello. Yes, this is the original Homer Simpson.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "The Debbie Pinson, who was the homecoming queen in high school? Yes, I'm still available. No, he's not!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Homer, we've worked together for 10 years. It's Carl. You only wrote my name. Um, I wanted yours. Take it or leave it, 'Carl.'", "c": ["Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Take it or leave it, 'Carl.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "So they really based that Homer Simpson character on you, huh? Yup. Right down to the scarf.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "I was supervising the Guns for Toys program. It's Toys for Guns! Now you tell me.", "c": ["TV Homer", "Chief"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Hey, what's goin' on? That guy's not Homer Simpson. He's fat and stupid.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Maybe he's just acting stupid to infiltrate a gang of international idiots. Yeah, th-that's gotta be it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "That was my insulin! Uh-oh, SpaghettiOs!", "c": ["TV Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Shut up! I'm not your clown! Don't diminish me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "[Homer falls through floor] Geez. What an exit. Oh, man. What's he gonna do for an encore?", "c": ["Homer", "Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "like, oh, Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you gentlemen, but you seem to have me confused with a character in a fictional show. Now, if you'll excuse me, my fondue is just about- D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "D'oh! - There goes Albany! - Uh-oh, SpaghettiOs!", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Let's get out of here. Forget the baby's medicine! But her forehead's on fire! Fine. I'll be in the car, driving home.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Worst... reading... ever.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "That reminds me, do you mind if my nephew kicks you in the belly? Okay. [Grunt] Oh! Aw, the flash didn't go off. You got another one in you, Josh?", "c": ["Fan", "Homer", "Josh"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Bart, kill that cat! And that big yellow flower! Homer, your growing insanity is starting to worry me.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Yeah. 'Bart.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "The 13 of us began with a singular vision- Titanic meets Frasier. But then we found out that ABC had a similar project in development with Annie Potts and Jeremy Piven. Who's Jeremy Piven? We don't know.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Who's Jeremy Piven? - We don't know. But it scared the hell out of us, so we slapped together a cop show instead.", "c": ["TV Producers", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "The network idiots didn't want a show about high-tech badges that shoot laser beams.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Oh, he's not stupid. He's a street-smart fish out of water in a world he never made. I'm begging you! I'm a human being! Let me have my dignity back!", "c": ["Producer", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Now he's stupid and whiny.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Hercules Rockefeller. Rembrandt Q. Einstein. Handsome B. Wonderful.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "I'm going to give you the only name you spelled correctly. From this day forward, your name shall be- 'Max Power'?", "c": ["Judge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "That's the way Max Power is, Marge- decisive, uncompromising and rude.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "And he traded a mule for it. And that mule went on to save spring break.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Oh, honey, they have acids that can burn that off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the G's!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Kids, there's three ways to do things- the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way. - Isn't that the wrong way? - Yeah, but faster!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Kids, there's three ways to do things- the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way. Isn't that the wrong way? Yeah, but faster!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Well, who could forget the name of a magnetic individual like you? Keep up the good work, Max. Mr. Power. Yes, of course. Mr. Power.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Max Power doesn't abbreviate. Each letter is as important as the one that preceded it. Maybe more important. No, as important.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "If you don't, who will, huh? Trent Steel. Homer Simp- Uh, Max Power. Ooh, hey! Great name! Yeah, isn't it? I got it off a hair dryer.", "c": ["Trent Steel", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "You like Thai? Tie good. You like shirt?", "c": ["Trent Steel", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "He has a company that makes computers, or a computer that makes companies. You wouldn't understand.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "The house number is spelled out with letters. Get used to it, honey. From now on we'll be spelling everything with letters.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "I can't believe those pants are made entirely out of hemp. And this one solar collector can gather enough energy to run this colorful pinwheel.", "c": ["Homer", "Ed Begley Jr."], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "I feel like Cinderella. Me too. Let's sing the Cinderella song. Eh, maybe later.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Here comes Lorne Michaels. Pretend you don't see him.", "c": ["Party Guest"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "So I said, 'If this is the House of Pancakes, how come I can't eat the walls?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "So I said, 'If this is the House of Pancakes, how come I can't eat the walls?' Oh, you are too much, Max.", "c": ["Homer", "Party Guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Hell, I've done it with pigs. Real no-foolin' pigs.", "c": ["Clinton"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Quebec's got the bomb. Well, I gotta go, but, look, if you're ever near the White House, there's a toolshed out back. I'm in there most of the day.", "c": ["Clinton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Hey, no problem!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Give something back? Boo! Get a haircut! Somebody buy this guy a tree so he'll shut up!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "It's a go-cart powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.", "c": ["Ed Begley Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Remember that New Year's Eve at Lenny's? He didn't even have a clock.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "'Swab'? I thought it was a spray. Okay. She's second.", "c": ["Eddie", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Go swab Begley. He likes it.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "That car was just two days away from retirement.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "While I was at the courthouse, I had them change your name. To what? Chesty LaRue.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "Fine. Hooty McBoob it is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "If you're not completely satisfied, you can be Busty St. Clair. Fine. Hooty McBoob it is.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 13, "et": "Homer To The Max"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "And then the handsome prince realized... he had to go to the bathroom really bad. But the evil ogre- Barney- had left the men's room in the most wicked condition.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "That's not a fairy tale. It's just something that happened to you at Moe's.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "And thank you, God, for the bad things adults do... which distract attention from stuff I'm doing.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Thanks. It's due tomorrow.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "All right. I'll get you the materials. - But you're building it! - Okay. Oh, I'll make the whole thing!", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "But this is the peak hour for stoned teenagers buying shiny things.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Whoa! It's a living mirror. Cool hat!", "c": ["Stoned teenager"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "I told her that endless toil is the only true path out of this jerkwater burg.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "It is payback time, and this time it's personal.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "I didn't turn it on yet. [Gurgling Continues] Oh.! I'm never eatin' chili again. Ooh, chili!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "I'm solving world hunger.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Very. But I can't help wondering where I go from here.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "[Gasps] Seven? I'll be right there.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "If you need pennies, take them from Jerry's jar.", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "I could not let you in the store like that because you are smoking.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Well, let us just say we both feel bad. - Deal.", "c": ["Apu", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Good rice, good curry, good Gandhi, let's hurry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "[Snickers] Oh, yeah. Homer's a real go-getter.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "What's an 'eltdown'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Eighteen hours? Nobody works that hard.", "c": ["Marge", "Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Week-ends?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "You told me it was an American tradition... to work all the time and never see your wife!", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "'Sala' seems to mean 'jerk'... and I think 'Manjula' means some kind of spaceship.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Oh, they're newlyweds. They'll just talk things out and top it off with some lovin'.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Either put that book down, or let me drive!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "'You're a-peeling. Let's never split!' [Laughing] That's funny, 'cause they're monkeys.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Morning, Apu. Still in hot water with the squaw?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "That would be like going to an air show and leaving before the plane crash.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "'Tax Hike Approved'? Bad dog. Bad, bad dog.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "I'd love to look at 'Scullery Week' if you're through with it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "This is about investment opportunities in Yemen. - Give me that!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "'Successful mayor type seeks open-minded discreet cheerleader type.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "The only ad you took out was to sell our lawn mower.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Well, sometimes I find pickle slices in the sheets.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Oh! Just once I'd like a parrot to say that to me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "It's not that monkey card I found in the car, is it?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Help.! I can't breathe.!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Sarah, please! Sarah, it's $10 a pill.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Everybody's marriage is falling apart except ours.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Look! The Taco Bell dog! Yo quiero- Hey, where'd it go?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Edna won't even let me clap her erasers.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "My Barbara will no longer pleasure me with the French arts!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "The gal I'm stalkin' had me bumped back to 200 feet.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Well, I guess we are. I suppose I do take Maude for granted.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "It's easy to blame ourselves... but it's even easier to blame Apu!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Right after happy hour!", "c": ["Bar patrons"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Gasoline, axes. I got some stuff in the trunk.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Not yet I'm not! You'll know when I'm driving! And it'll- [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Only till 11:00.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality... for about 10 minutes.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "We had to make an emergency landing. It's that damn chandelier again.", "c": ["Elton John"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "You know, when I was dubbed Sir Elton, the queen paddled me silly.", "c": ["Elton John"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "I am so sick of that damn code!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "I love you- It's an angel.! Oh, that's Neddie's pet name for me.", "c": ["Maude"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Blobbie? Upsilon?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Oh, who am I kidding? Homer would never surprise me like that.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Well, well, the bitch is back.", "c": ["Elton John"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "You see, because that is your song. I heard you. Yes, because someone saved your life tonight.", "c": ["Homer", "Elton John"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Just when I think I have you figured out, you fall from the sky with roses.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Well, I think I have a collapsed lung, but okay.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "Well, you and the health inspector. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "It should get you pretty darned hammered.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 14, "et": "Im With Cupid"}, {"t": "I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Ha-ha!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Oh. Or should I say 'Grinskeeper'? No, I'm sorry. Groundskeeper was correct.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "So, have you noticed... how North Edinburgh golfers putt like this... and South Edinburgh golfers putt like this?", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 4.4, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Willie's not funny unless he's down on his knees... scooping up your little brats' puke!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Kill me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Who's on first? Yes. Not the pronoun, but rather a player... with the unlikely name of Who is on first.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Well, that's just great, Seymour. We've been out here six seconds. You've already managed to blow the routine. Sexless freak.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "You drive. I eat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Dad, you were supposed to pay for those snacks. I saw Krabappel's butt. I paid.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "No. As soon as I get over, that lane will stop moving. Erma Bombeck said so, and Dave Barry agrees.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Aw! You suck, Marge.", "c": ["Random driver"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.27, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "So long, schlubs!", "c": ["Canyonero driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Wow. Did you see that thing, Marge? So powerful. So commanding. So forceful and raw. It didn't ask. It just took.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Oh, Canyonero. Go ahead. Drool all you want. You can't hurt that finish. Now, rainwater- that'll strip it right off.", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "No! Wait! Ah, no! You can't take my sale! My wife's gonna leave me if I don't start bringing in the green. Come on. Let me have this one, Stan. I'm begging you. Look at me. I'm begging you, Stan.", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Whose voice is that? Is that Fred?", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Okay. You've got the undercoating... clear coating, rustproofing, under guard spray... Gravel Guard XJ, Vita-Seal, Repels-It... but if you want to protect the paint, you better keep it in this tent.", "c": ["Car salesman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Oh, then after your final monthly payment, there's the routine C.B.P.... or crippling balloon payment.", "c": ["Car salesman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Oh. Sorry, Homer. We thought you were one of those hot-to-trot soccer moms.", "c": ["Random men"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "See? Instead of a cigarette lighter, it's got a lipstick holder.", "c": ["Random man"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Ah, crap! It's a girl's car! I can't drive this!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, you can, doll face. Pretty thing like you can do whatever she wants.", "c": ["Random men"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Are you saying I'm gay? Because if that's what you think, then just come right out and say it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Good Lord! How am I supposed to get in this beast?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Well, that's a nice feature.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "No one has ever asked me that before in my life.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Ew! Why is Courtney Love on the Wheaties box?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Hmm. I thought it was Sandy Duncan.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Do you want to spend your whole life doing what's right?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Of course not.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Out of my way, nature!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Look at me, Lise. I'm Baron Von Chicken Pants.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "You're tomorrow night's dinner.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Mom! Bart took what I said and turned it into an insult!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "A three-chambered peanut! Marge, look what I did! Come quick! Hurry!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "So, lying on the couch and eating stuff isn't the same if you aren't around to see it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Maggie smells bad, and the cat wants something, but I don't know what.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "S.U.V. coming through. Open up for Marge. Thank you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Geez. Try the gas pedal, Grandma. It's right there next to the brake.", "c": ["Random driver"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Oh, for God's s- Go back to New Jersey.", "c": ["Random driver"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Come on, come on! Get that corpse off the road! The streets are for the living!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Slow down, you maniac! Show some respect for this coffin full of bricks representing a young man lost at sea.", "c": ["Funeral procession"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Can the sweet talk, Thelma & Louise.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Why are the pretty ones always insane?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "But over these next eight hours, you will be broken down to the level of infants... then rebuilt as functional members of society... then broken down again, then lunch... then, if there's time, rebuilt once more.", "c": ["Traffic school instructor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Duh!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Quiet, fatso! The sergeant's talking!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Fire a weapon at your television screen... pick a fight with someone weaker than you... or write a threatening letter to a celebrity.", "c": ["Road rage video"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Um, Chief, can I at least shield my crotch?", "c": ["Eddie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Bears can't talk, Eddie.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "And that herbal anger rinse just washed the rage right out of me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "I won't even get sexual or nothin'- unless that's what you want.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "What would Curtis E. Bear do?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "We're free! We're free!", "c": ["Escaped prisoners"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Ah, geez. Darned laminated- Would you mind? I got stubby fingers.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Well, that's a turnoff.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Ah, what a gyp. They're all just lyin' around. Do something!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "I've seen plays that were more exciting than this. Honest to God. Plays!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "But, Dad, lemurs are nocturnal.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Don't worry, honey. Daddy will fix that broken animal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "I told 'em a chain link fence wouldn't hold rhinos. Oh, wait. No, I didn't. I meant to tell 'em.", "c": ["Zookeeper"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Jumanji!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Does anything from the movies actually work?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "That's your hat.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "She's good, Chief.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Authorities say there's no immediate danger to anyone except those three luckless people whom we'll identify once the rhinos spit out their wallets.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "When will Detroit build a sunroof for the husky gentleman?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "It's not my rhino!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "One, two... three, 'B'!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "Well, I was watching Dateline... and Stone Phillips said S.U.V.'s always roll over when you turn sharply... and the gas tanks explode at the drop of a hat.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "And she also knew if a rhino sees a flame... he'll instinctively try to put it out. Stone Phillips again.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "NBC has lots of great shows, and their news and sports coverage can't be beat.", "c": ["Random person"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible. So, in summary, NBC bad, Fox good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 15, "et": "Marge Simpson In Screaming Yellow Honker"}, {"t": "1939? Oh, my God! I've gone back in time! I've got to warn everybody about Hitler! And get to the ice-cream store!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Shut up! You haven't even been born yet!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "That was Men Without Hats. Or as they're known today, Men Without Jobs.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "We're broadcasting live from P.J. O'H.'s and this place makes Animal House look like Terms of Endearment.", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "That's no way to address Sir Drinks-a-Lot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, quit complaining. It's half the work of a divorced dad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Yeah, but it's twice as much as a deadbeat dad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "They know I'm kidding.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it's not a fair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "What? And Marmaduke doesn't? [make history come alive]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Uncle Sam needs to spend our tax dollars on the essentials: antitobacco programs, pro-tobacco programs, killing wild donkeys and Israel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Thank God for grave robbers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Who's Fonzie? Don't they teach you anything in school? He freed the squares.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "You just licked off the part that forbids cruel and unusual punishment.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Finally a company that understands my needs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "We sure do. It's called caring.", "c": ["Omnitouch Representative"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "We prefer to think of them as 'keep in touch' towers.", "c": ["Omnitouch Representative"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "That Andy Capp was onto something.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Just pretend it's a tree, honey. Or as we say at Omnitouch, a progress tree.", "c": ["Omnitouch Representative"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "You gave away my room?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Funny how your mind works in a crisis.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "I thought I'd never have to say that again.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "That's right, The Odd Couple! So meet your comically mismatched roommate, Bart Simpson!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm gonna make your life a living hell.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "One: I am Bart, thy god. If I am out, the Krusty doll is thy god. If the doll's with me, you will worship the night-light.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Great. I'm gonna eat mayonnaise.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Hey, that's what I do in my room, Lise. I squeak my chair.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Bart was winning. Then he said, 'This is stupid.' And he stopped, and I won!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "That wasn't your mayonnaise, was it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "No, it's not. [in response to 'It is fun to me']", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Hey, it's Krusty. I need you to get me out of another jam. I picked up this chick last night. At least I thought she was a chick.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Somebody wants Mommy to change baby's diaper! Is that somebody you, Homer?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "You know, before I learned to chuckle mindlessly, I was headed for an early grave myself.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, no, you don't! Screw that touchy, queer-y crap! We'll take the harsh antacids.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "I sure settled his hash. Imagine that quack thinking he'd try one of those crazy new age cures.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Nah, you must be thinking of your mother. I'm always exploring alternatives and expanding my horizons into realms of-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm just saying I can get along in life without a 'toothbrush.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "And a-ooga-booga to you too.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "And what's keeping Joan Rivers alive? Fetal grindings.", "c": ["Store Clerk"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Can you pee in it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Wow. My mind just created that out of nothing.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. A cow. Eat lead, Bossy.", "c": ["Bart as radio voice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "But if anybody asks, you hit him.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "The I Ching said I had six months till bankruptcy.", "c": ["New Age Store Owner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "You should lift with your legs. Yeah, aw, screw it. I got health insurance.", "c": ["Mover"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Sensory deprivation kicks ass!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Not so deep the Lord can't find him... and judge him.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, yuck. That sandwich is full of meat! There's bacon. Canadian bacon. Mexican bacon!", "c": ["Lisa in Homer's body"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Geez, why is Lisa so mad at me? I only came to this dump so I could be with her.", "c": ["Homer in Lisa's body"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Boy, I can really be a pain in the butt.", "c": ["Homer/Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Boy, I can really be a pain in the butt.", "c": ["Homer in Lisa's body"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "Does it get any better than this? Not to me, Dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 16, "et": "Make Room For Lisa"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "So I said to that nurse... 'You can take your free tetanus shot and shove it.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "You still haven't told us why Lenny bit you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Lousy meat-eating scum. - Huh? - Not you.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "It's decorated with hanging steer carcasses and a fountain of blood.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Well, maybe the animals don't mind, honey. They might enjoy being the center of attention.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "I think I read somewhere that cows like being killed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Then why are we eating this crap?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "You didn't need to knock the food on the floor. - Didn't I?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Oh, whoa. A complimentary basket of hooves.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Mmm. Beef salad, beef on the cob, beef-fried beef-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Even this menu is made of meat. It's an entire chicken pounded flat.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "How clever. The kids' menu is on the beak.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "On second thought, I'll just have a glass of milk... from that cow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "not a little girlie, underpantsie, pink-doily, tea-party place.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "We call it 'Sirloin-a-Lot.' It's the size of a boogie board.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Ooh! I'll have that one. And to drink, meatballs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "They like me because I'm brave.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "It's you! You're him! You're Tony Randall!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "And I've eaten steaks from coast to coast with taters and toast.", "c": ["Red Barclay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Greenhorn? Who's a greenhorn? What's a greenhorn?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "It's an insult. Sock him, Dad. Sock everybody.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Mr. Hasn't-Got-A-Belly.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "You know, I wouldn't have thought so before I bought 12% percent of this restaurant... but now I feel a balanced diet can include the occasional eating contest.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "We have the latest Heimlich machine. [Gagging]", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "And on your right, Homer somebody.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "No, Homer! Don't fill up on bread!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Must eat beef. Must defeat guy I just met.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Lungs filling. Sinuses packed with meat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "He's not even halfway through Walter and he's already hallucinating.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "There's still food, but I don't want to eat it. I've become everything I've ever hated.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "This man is dead. Looks to me like beef poisoning. - Probably from some other restaurant.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "He called me greenhorn. I called him Tony Randall. It was a thing we had.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "I owe it to old Red as both his friend and his killer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Don't you have school? - Don't you have work? - Ah, touche!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "That didn't sound like you meant it. - Oh, all right. Good-bye, sweetheart. Have a nice trip. - That's more like it.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? My left arm says different. - You're not really a trucker now.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "No, Dad! He wants you to blow your horn. - Oh. [Homer] That little punk!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "They've eaten submarine sandwiches, grinders and hoagies.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "We're buying a new doorbell? - A musical doorbell.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "So many doorbells. I'm in way over my head.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "We got your ding-dang-dongs and your do-re-mis and your ha-cha-chas, huh?", "c": ["Senor Ding-Dong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Lisa, you ought to be a doorbell salesman. - Oh, that's just what I need. Another piranha in the tank.", "c": ["Marge", "Senor Ding-Dong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Great. Now write your mother and tell her the marriage is off. And then when the paperwork is done, I'll make Gwen my wife.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Oh! Milhouse is selling seeds, and he's coming this way- Oh, the birds got him.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "What if we don't have all the answers? - You're right, Nureen. Let's go get real jobs.", "c": ["Jehovah's Witnesses"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Oh. I would have feigned interest.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "It's time we opened up a can of Whup-Tushie on this situation.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Ring the bell! - Why? You already know I'm here, don't you? - Just do it! - Nothing doin', missy.", "c": ["Marge", "Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Doorbell playing song repeatedly", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Actually, we have to go 2,200 miles in 10 hours.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Well, Congress is racing back to Washington to outlaw these.", "c": ["Store Clerk"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "No problem. I'll balance it out with a bottle of sleeping pills.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Pep pills! Perking up again! I could drive all... night. [Snoring]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "I fell asleep at the wheel, and the truck drove here by itself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "all you gotta do is sit back and feel your ass grow.", "c": ["Trucker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Wow! You guys are even lazier than me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Come on out, boy! It's windy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "But keep it a secret. It's a big scam, okay?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Yeah. Just like we did to Jimmy Hoffa. - Hey, shut up!", "c": ["Truckers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Oh, the heck with it. [Wire cutters snapping]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "They're hazing us to initiate us into the truckers' fraternity. Thank you, sir! May I have another?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Oh! My good knife! My wife's gonna kill me.", "c": ["Trucker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "I'm keeping a promise to an American roadmaster. Red! The trucker!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "I'm not Red. I'm Homer. - Gotta go!", "c": ["Homer", "Computer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Now that man is a genuine, steel-belted, gear-jamming rig jockey.", "c": ["Trucker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Nah. Let's just find some other scam. - Hey, how about bootlegging Beanie Babies?", "c": ["Truckers"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Somewhere up there, I bet Red is saying thanks. 10-4, dead buddy.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Artichokes and migrant workers. Looking good.", "c": ["Dock Worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Well, the last time I saw him, he was in a big plastic bag.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Are you crazy? I'm not driving a trainload of napalm to Springfield!", "c": ["Train Engineer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Huh? - Ayayay! Senor Ding-Dong!", "c": ["Marge", "Senor Ding-Dong"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "There was a time when that was true. But now I am so much more.", "c": ["Senor Ding-Dong"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "There was a time when that was true. But now I am so much more.", "c": ["Senor Ding-Dong"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "If you ever need me, just ring.", "c": ["Senor Ding-Dong"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Does anyone have any jumper cables? [Engine Cranks, Stops] [Senor Ding-Dong] Oh, you stinking Chevy!", "c": ["Homer", "Senor Ding-Dong"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "Oh, you stinking Chevy!", "c": ["Senor Ding-Dong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 17, "et": "Maximum Homerdrive"}, {"t": "This is the hottest Easter ever. Even that praying mantis is losing it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "And as we pass the collection plate... please give as though the person next to you were watching.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "A chocolate bunny? Who put this wicked idol in the collection plate? - Relax. I found it in the Dumpster.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Looks like God made you out of my sexiest rib.", "c": ["Homer as Adam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Hi-diddly-ho, paradise dwellers!", "c": ["Ned as God"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "I can't believe you don't have a girlfriend.", "c": ["Adam", "God"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "I hate to be a bossy Betty... but I have to forbid you to eat its fruit. - And it would be even easier to avoid that temptation if I had a few extra wives.", "c": ["God", "Adam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "And it would be even easier to avoid that temptation if I had a few extra wives.", "c": ["Homer as Adam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Let's call this little guy a groundhog. - Sorry, I already gave him a name: land monster.", "c": ["Marge as Eve", "Homer as Adam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Let's call this little guy a groundhog. - Sorry, I already gave him a name: land monster. - Really? Well, what do you call that thing on the branch? - Branch monster.", "c": ["Eve", "Adam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "You're pretty uptight for a naked chick.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "I think we should see other people.", "c": ["Adam"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "I should have stood up for you during that whole 'Applegate' thing.", "c": ["Adam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "I love you even more than the butterscotch pond or the porno bush.", "c": ["Adam"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Oh, what have they done to you, Gary?", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "I mean, how long can he hold a grudge? - Forever and ever and ever...", "c": ["Homer as Adam", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "And that concludes Genesis... the first of the 66 books of the Bible.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Kudos on your whipping. - Oh, he noticed!", "c": ["Pharaoh", "Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Don't make me slay all the firstborn males again.", "c": ["Pharaoh"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "That's the new omni-lash, boys. Just look at that snapback. - Yeah, it's sweet.", "c": ["Willie", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Oh, now they're my people.", "c": ["Moses"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Oh, now they're my people.", "c": ["Moe as Moses"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Bird, bird, giant eye, pyramid, bird. - Mm-hmm. Very good.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel as secretary", "Pharaoh"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "These are the juiciest frogs I've ever eaten. Ra has rewarded my cruelty to the slaves.", "c": ["Pharaoh"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Do you think we could ever be more than just friends? - Not now, Moses! We gotta find a way outta here.", "c": ["Lisa as Moses", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Eh, slave labor. You get what you pay for.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Screw this! I'm converting! Save us, O mighty Ra!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Flush!", "c": ["Moses"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Forty years? But after that, it's clear sailing for the Jews, right? - More or less.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa as Moses"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "But after that, it's clear sailing for the Jews, right? - More or less. Hey, is that manna?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "The pie shall be cut in two. And each man shall receive... death.", "c": ["Homer as Solomon"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "I'm not saying Jezebel's easy... but before she moved to Sodom it was known for its pottery.", "c": ["Krusty as jester"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "No, it was his son, Goliath II.", "c": ["Methuselah"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "And this time it's biblical.", "c": ["Homer as King David"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "And this time it's biblical.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Say, how's tomorrow for you?", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Without your precious hair, you no longer possess your fantastic strength! - That's Samson, idiot!", "c": ["Homer as King David", "Goliath II"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Without your precious hair, you no longer possess your fantastic strength! - That's Samson, idiot!", "c": ["David", "Goliath II"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Oh. I hope this doesn't get into the Bible.", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "You're King David. I love you, 'cause you kill people. - Get yourself another hero, kid. I'm all washed up.", "c": ["Ralph", "Homer as King David"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Jonah! Oh! You died the way you lived- inside a whale.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Hope I don't give you... heartburn!", "c": ["David"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Although I haven't seen his body, the blast that failed to kill me surely killed the giant.", "c": ["Homer as King David"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "But Goliath was the greatest king we ever had. He built roads, hospitals, libraries. To us he was Goliath the Consensus Builder.", "c": ["Citizen"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "You're under arrest for 'megacide.'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Eh, it's not the end of the world.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Bart, are you wearing clean underwear? - Not anymore.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "It's the rapture! And I never knew true love. I never used those pizza coupons!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "Oh, they're out of hot dogs! And the coleslaw has pineapple in it! German potato salad!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 18, "et": "Simpsons Bible Stories"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "But, Marge, I'm not like other men. That's why you buy my pants at that special store!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Oh, you know as soon as I take 'em down, there'll just be more hostages.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "And you could at least get that snake out of the piano. [Middle Eastern music] [Hissing]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Can you live with that, Marge? Huh? Can ya? - Yup! - Can ya? - [Groans] - [Thuds]", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "[Ned] God... bless him.!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "You're Pop? No offense, but even I could kick your ass.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Hey, get off my case! The only reason I'm working here is 'cause I'm trying to get a date with Mom.", "c": ["Pop"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Aisle one, next to the cat poison.", "c": ["Pop"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "You mean the janitor's closet? Ha!", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "I want a baby now.!", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "[Titters] A man in an apron! [Chuckles]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "No, no! I'm into chicken! How about wild boar? Or swordfish? Or hippo? Mmm. Hippo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Mmm. Hippo. [Guttural Sigh]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Can I burn evidence in it? We can all burn evidence in it.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "'Le grille'? What the hell is that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Why must I fail in every attempt at masonry? [Crying]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "How's your father's project coming along? I think he's almost done. [Screams] Yeah, he's done.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Sorry. I didn't get this hammer hat by handing out refunds.", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "It teaches them while they learn.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Now hit the road, Kriss Kringle. But- But- You heard me, Pere Noel.", "c": ["Store clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "What you got there? Beanie Baby.", "c": ["Dump worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "All right! My bumper fell off. Not my fault. Act of God, act of God. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "All right! Just go ahead and sue me! Everybody else does! The average settlement is $68,000.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "You mean this hunk of junk? This isn't art. It's just a barbecue that pushed me over the edge. Didn't you? Didn't you? You stupid- [Shouting]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Is everything okay? I got worried when I didn't hear any shots.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "In high school I was voted most likely to be a mental patient, hillbilly or chimpanzee!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Dad, chew with your mouth closed. You're losing your mystique.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "You squeal on me, I'll kill you.", "c": ["Jasper Johns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Hey, I done studied for years on how to get over that junkyard fence. Then I learnt the gate was open.", "c": ["Hillbilly artist"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Smithers, I think I'm in love! - Hah! - With this sculpture.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Smithers, years ago I blew the chance to buy Picasso's Guernica for a song. Luckily that song was 'White Christmas' and by hanging on to it, I made billions.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "In your face, Jasper Johns! Huh?", "c": ["Homer", "Jasper Johns"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Hey, I've always had an interest in art, dating back to my schoolgirl days when I painted portrait after portrait of Ringo Starr. That's my life you're describing! I think I remember my own life, Marge.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Well, Mom found out her engagement ring is made of rock candy. [Grunting] Good work, honey. Keep it coming.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Well, I'm flunking math, and the other day I was a little attracted to Milhouse.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Eh, to be honest, we are adrift in a sea of decadent luxury and meaningless sex.", "c": ["Eurotrash art fan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "So, uh, you guys are Eurotrash, huh? How's that working out for you?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Uh-huh. So, uh, where might this sea be located? Hmm?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Hey, Moe! Can I pay with a drawing? Yeah. Nice try there, twelve step.", "c": ["Customer", "Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Wow! It's like Marge's dream come true- for me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Frankly, I'd be a little turned on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "I mean, look at Bart.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "What's going on here? You weirdos love this stuff.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Why don't you call us when you get to kitsch? [Chuckles]", "c": ["Art dealer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "If we hurry, we can still catch the heroin craze. Mmm!", "c": ["European art collectors"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Hey, Ray J. Johnson never changed his act, and he's more popular now than he's ever been. Who? You can call him Ray. Or you can call him J. Or you can call him Ray J. But you doesn't have to call him- I'm sick of him already.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Matt Groening? What's he doing in a museum? He can barely draw! Ow! Oh, no! I'm being erased!", "c": ["Homer", "Matt Groening"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "He must be a hundred feet tall.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "It's glorious! The streets are paved with water! You could ride a walrus to work!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "They call it his Angry Jerk Period.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "I could never think of something like soup or a pencil.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Hasta la vista, baby!", "c": ["Statue"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "See ya in hell, 'God Bless This House.' So long, 'The Simpsons'! D'oh.!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "That's for the courts to decide, Son.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Just like Venice, without the black plague.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "I just wish Jasper Johns hadn't stolen my boat. Aah! So long, suckers.!", "c": ["Moe", "Jasper Johns"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "[Scoffs] Looks like heaven's easier to get into than Arizona State.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Hey, they're working! My feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone-dry! Everything's comin' up Milhouse!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Do you think mother would like this hat pin? Oh. Yes. Oh, you've made me the happiest man on Earth!", "c": ["Seymour", "Edna"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "No. I'm just a nut who couldn't build a barbecue.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "I need some inspiration.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "Yoink!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 19, "et": "Mom And Pop Art"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "I recommend Moscow, where the American dollar buys seven rubles. - Twelve rubles. - Sixty rubles. 1,000 rubles! I must go!", "c": ["Olympic Committee Member"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "I suggest Motown. - Detroit. No, no. Mongolia Town- home of the Motown sound.", "c": ["Olympic Committee Member"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "giving out medals of beautiful gold... so-so silver and shameful bronze.", "c": ["Olympic Committee Chairman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Well, I say we don't bring her the torch. I say we bring her... the Olympic Games! - Who is with me? - [ Cricket Chirps ]", "c": ["Olympic Committee Chairman"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Economists predict our city will experience the same boom that Sarajevo enjoyed after the 1984 Games.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Well, actually, I just wrote it for a school assignment. Everyone else wrote to the Backstreet Boys.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "The winner will join such other memorable mascots as the Atlanta whatsit and the Montreal vampire.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "No one's gonna jinx you, Homer. In fact, we're rooting for you. - Yeah. Go for the gold, Dad. - Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "You papier-mached my cat?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Just for the prototype, honey.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Knowing you always hate my first idea, I prepared a backup.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Those aren't the dog's eyes, are they?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "And the ends are razor sharp- to protect our nation and its interests.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Hit the road, Lefty. You too, Rizzo. Oh, Cinnamon, don't make this harder than it already is.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Yes. Love that sun, man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "We will do anything, including but not limited to anything... to make your stay here tolerable. Yes. You'll be completely above the law. Uh, women, guns, cash- whatever you need. It's yours.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "In your face, Patty and Selma! - Well, we still love you, Ciggy.", "c": ["Homer", "Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Mmm! That glue really gives it a pop.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "I've never wanted a beer worse in my life.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Are you talking to me or the beer? To you, my bubbly, long-necked, beechwood-aged lover.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "So, uh, you're from Russia, huh? - Da. - You drunk yet? - Da.", "c": ["Bart", "Russian Representative"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Poland, eh? Too easy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Here's my impression of an East German woman. 'Kees' me, or I'll crush you.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "He says what we're all thinking. - I'm not thinking that.", "c": ["Olympic Committee Member", "Another Member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Hey, Swiss miss. There's no missin' you, babe. Lay off the cocoa.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "If there was a medal for horrible audiences, you'd get the gold. Peace out.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Well, it really did seem funny in rehearsal. And he didn't even get to his Ubangi routine.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Well, I was born in Queens, went to Ball State... then made the move to Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Uh, why do you ask?", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Let's see you make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy.", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "All right, gang. Shirts and skins. Let's hustle. - [ Gunshot ] [ Tires Screeching ]", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Ow! I pricked myself. Well, just keep working. You'll prick yourself with the antidote sooner or later.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "The fireworks, candy and puppy dog store? No, no, no. Next to it.", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Settle a bet. Boil or mole?", "c": ["Nursing Home Resident"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Just breathe through your mouth... and don't ask how they're feeling.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Let's pull his skin.", "c": ["Nursing Home Residents"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Oh, be a dear and snap my support hose to my girdle.", "c": ["Nursing Home Resident"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "You sunk my battleship. - You sunk my battleship.", "c": ["Nursing Home Residents"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Oh! I got a bingo! What do I win? - A banana. - A whole one? - Yep.", "c": ["Nursing Home Resident", "Nurse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "That's the prize? A banana? Their natural mushiness prevents choking and promotes regularity.", "c": ["Bart", "Nurse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "They're not babies, Lisa. Give 'em something fun- like cigars or booze. We tried giving them eggnog at Christmas... but it led to widespread 'de-shawling.'", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Nurse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "While they sleep, we suck up excess dirt and crumbs. Here you go. Make sure you get into every crevice.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Don't play with the faces.", "c": ["Nurse"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I should have no problem selling a thousand springs. - To who? - Idiots.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Frankly, my dear- I love you. Let's remarry.", "c": ["TV Character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "They cut out the best word. Didn't that movie used to have a war in it?", "c": ["Nursing Home Residents"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Boring! Come on, Bart. We don't want to overstimulate these people. They just had pudding.", "c": ["Bart", "Nurse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Your little smart-mouthed boy cost this town the Olympics.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Boy, Lenny, you sure look hungry. Have some nuts. - Hey, thanks. - Ow! My eye! Ow! Ow! Ow!", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Boy, Moe, you sure look angry. Here. Have some nuts. - Hey, thanks. Ow! God! My eye!", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Ahoy, mateys! It's me- Long Bart Silver. And I'm gonna rip you a new I.V. hole.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "These people need to ride motorcycles and play rockin' electric guitars... like the old people on TV.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "But when those pirates boarded... I swallowed my wedding ring for safekeeping. Get me some ipecac. I'd like to expunge it.", "c": ["Nursing Home Resident"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't live here. I'm just dropping off Indian casino pamphlets. Vote 'yes' on Prop 217.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "You know, the door was open, Chief Break Everything.", "c": ["Nursing Home Staff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "You don't wanna stay in a place where they vacuum you while you sleep.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Today's grass is far sharper than the grass in my day.", "c": ["Nursing Home Resident"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Arr! Not a looker among 'em.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "What'd he say? Put on our tuxedos? I want some taquitos.", "c": ["Nursing Home Residents"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "How much would you pay for a self-flipping hamburger pan? Nothing. Don't answer yet.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Some second-degree burns. But some first-class burgers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "'D' it up, Marge. I'm goin' to the hole.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "I haven't felt this relaxed and carefree... since I was watch commander at Pearl Harbor.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "They don't even seem to care that it's medication time. - Medication time? Hot dog! - Gimme, gimme, gimme!", "c": ["Lisa", "Nursing Home Residents"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Let's play bingo. - Yeah! Let's play bingo. - You sunk my battleship.", "c": ["Nursing Home Residents"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Gotta do somethin' till bingo.", "c": ["Nursing Home Resident"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Oh. Two glass eyes.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "I'm supposed to die in a foolish motorcycle stunt at the age of 15.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I'll save you the Jack La Lanne way!", "c": ["Jack La Lanne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Sure, Bart's responsible for our deaths. But he gave us the most fun we had in 20 years.", "c": ["Nursing Home Resident"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Ah. What a shame. Not a looker in the bunch.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "How low can I go!", "c": ["Nursing Home Resident"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "Hey. Stop shakin' the harness. How low can I go! [Water Splashes]", "c": ["Elderly Resident"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 20, "et": "The Old Man And The C Student"}, {"t": "This gentleman's beer tap dates back to the turn of the century... and remarkably, seems to have never been washed. Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to wash that, but- it's been such a century.", "c": ["Appraiser", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "At auction, I'd expect this to bring $20,000 to $30,000... except that on the handle somebody's carved 'Homer rocks.' And I do. Whoo! Appraised value: $15.", "c": ["Appraiser", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Oh, we stopped those when the kids said I was too fat to carry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "I'm not lazy. I'm just, um, uh- Lisa, finish my sentence for me. Why don't you finish your own darn- [Snoring]", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "All this fresh air is making my hair move... and I don't know how much longer I can complain.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "There's some dogs. We could all ride dogs. Forget it. Nobody's riding any- Hi-yo, Silver, away!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "But you don't wanna buy your buttons there. Whew. Well, I dodged a bullet. Now there's the place you wanna buy your buttons.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "If you love me, you'll kill me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "'Mega' means good, and 'store' means thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Whoa! This place has everything... even a Shoplifting Department. What convenience. I'm doin' all my thievin' here.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Snake"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Man, all these bands are just rippin' off Judas Priest.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I am really sorry. Ugh! Ugh! I don't know what I was thinking... but, uh, Field of Dreams was good, wasn't it? Made us all believe again. Oh, poor Mr. Costner. He tries so hard.", "c": ["Kevin Costner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Ah, thanks. You're sweet to say that. Uh, where are you? I'm back here. Hi. Will you bring me a sandwich? Please? No-No crusts.", "c": ["Kevin Costner", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Step lively, Smithers. That orphanage won't demolish itself.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Once again, my underwear has become tangled in a cowcatcher. Ooh!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Books and cocoa in the same store? What's next, a talking banana? Uh, I don't see one, sir. No, of course not. The very notion of a talking banana is absurd. Still-", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "I went down Mount Everest on a boogie board. Climbed Niagara Falls. And just last month, I knocked out Muhammad Ali.", "c": ["Arthur Fortune"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "It seems I have too much money. Who wants a dollar?", "c": ["Arthur Fortune"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "I don't know. Just give me the dollar.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "This goes right in the old poor box. Not so fast, old chum.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Where's the dignity? Where's the contempt for the common man?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Bah! [Echoing] Bah! Bah! Bah!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "I thought I had everything- money, good looks, strong, sharp teeth.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Free silver dollars, compliments of C. Montgomery Burns! [People screaming and getting hurt by coins]", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Crowd"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Ow! Ow! Take it out! Take it out! No! Ooh! Put it back! Put it back!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Maybe you should see a doctor about that coin in your brain. Maybe you should mind your own business. Afternoon, miss.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "I'm behind Adam Sandler, for God's sake.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Because I brought the check, they named a wing after me? [Laughing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Well, I will be when the morphine wears off, but until then-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Oh, get with the times, man. It's Jerry Rude and the Bathroom Bunch.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "I wrote some jokes about how white people are different from black people.", "c": ["Jerry Rude"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "You see, white people have names like Lenny... whereas black people have names like Carl.", "c": ["Jerry Rude"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "All right. Uh, how many times a day do you go to the can? Oh, about 40, I suppose. When are we going on the air? We're on the air now, Skeletor.", "c": ["Jerry Rude", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Oh, well, when I was six, my father took me on a picnic. That was a gay old time. Ho-ho! I ate my share of wieners that day.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Most of the sounds you are now hearing are not being made by me.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Wow! A blue car!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "A sober Irishman? Even rarer.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Peter Graves couldn't find ugly at a Radcliffe mixer.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "They still have the same pool table on which I was conceived, born and educated.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "They still have the same pool table on which I was conceived, born and educated.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "So you're back, Son. Aye. I suppose you'll be leavin' soon. Aye. Good.", "c": ["Willie's Father", "Willie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "You're not payin' me anything! You kidnapped me. I remember it distinctly... with the grabbing and duct taping and the tennis ball in the mouth. It hurt me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Oh, good glavin! It's on my shoe! It's a- a small frog. Just get off. Just get off there. Just get out. Get out!", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Can you believe I'm a size four? Whoo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Can you believe I'm a size four? Whoo! Ach. Aye.", "c": ["Homer", "Willie", "Willie's Father"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "We've lost our homes and everything we hold dear. Aye.", "c": ["Scottish Resident"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "No way! Aberdeen rules!", "c": ["Aberdeen Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "I was a little worried when he swallowed me... but, well, you know the rest.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "the eighth being Gomer Pyle's heavenly singing voice", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Yes, that's it. Let it all out. Clutch me to your common bosom.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Well, if you wanted people to love you... you sure blew it with that insane rampage.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "I'm a selfish old crank, and that fits me like a Speedo.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "So what do we do with our friend here? Uh, throw him in the Dumpster? No, no, no. I really want to give the lovable scamp a good home.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "Okay, okay. Want a shrimp cocktail? Nah. Yeah, they're not great.", "c": ["Homer", "Nessie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 21, "et": "Monty Cant Buy Me Love"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Shut up-a your mouth!", "c": ["Italian TV character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.03, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "please enjoy this encore presentation of Princess Di's funeral", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "I've never heard so many Viagra jokes in 30 seconds", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "the low fat pudding that's approved for sale by the government", "c": ["Radio Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Grandma Plopwell, you've done it again!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Our new hyper sugar gives you 300% of your minimum daily sweetness requirement", "c": ["Grandma Plopwell representative"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Well, you do now", "c": ["Grandma Plopwell representative"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Our most disgusting contestant will win a free trip to Hartford, Connecticut", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "I thought it was Hawaii. - No one said Hawaii.", "c": ["Homer", "Radio DJ"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Ladles and jelly spoons", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Please, no more spark plugs", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Unbelievable. We're rewarding people for acting like buffoons. - Young lady, this may be the high point of Bart's life.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Homer and his amazing Redenbacher Dreamcoat with 'Kernel Knowledge'", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Oh, this is so embarrassing!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Lisa, did anyone force you to come here today? - You.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "But it's me, Moe, wearing a sailor suit. Moe with a lolly. It's so out of character.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "The winner is... me for being seen with you freaks", "c": ["Contest Judge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Well, you- A urinal cake! You, sir, have crossed the line.", "c": ["Contest Judge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "People, stop, stop! We're not animals!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Today, our town lost what remained of its fragile civility... drowned in a sea of low fat pudding", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Look, I got runner-up prize. - You won second place? - No, but I got it.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Free boudoir photography. - Sweet!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "We are a town of lowbrows, no brows and ignorami", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "We have eight malls, but no symphony. Thirty-two bars, but no alternative theater. Thirteen stores that begin with 'Le Sex.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Well, most of us", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Yes, there's a real think piece here about a bra sale", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Everything but the opinion page. I don't need to be told what to think... by anyone living", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Yeah, I need to housebreak our new police dog. Plus, it couldn't hurt Ralphie to brush up on the fundamentals", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Daddy says I'm this close to living in the yard", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Can you recommend any books for my mobile? - anything by Jane Austen - Thanks Lisa. I'll get right on it.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Tell no one. And bring a dessert", "c": ["Anonymous note"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Is that a pie or a quiche? - A pie. - You may enter.", "c": ["Mensa member", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "I know that. It's also a constellation visible only from the southern hemisphere", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "She's good. She's very good.", "c": ["Mensa member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Each the tops in his or her field... uh, except for Mel Lazarus", "c": ["Mensa member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Well, it was your delightfully condescending letter that put you over the top", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Synergy, and books on how to cheat at bridge", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Rise to vote, sir", "c": ["Mensa member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "But 'rise to vote, sir' is a palindrome. - Good glavin. She's right.", "c": ["Lisa", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Uh, Geraldo Simpson", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Well, I don't, but the block association seems to", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "They've gotten rid of the English literature section and replaced it with a make-your-own-sundae bar", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "I heard they got rid of the reference desk to make room for an air hockey table", "c": ["Mensa member"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Even the microfilm? - Even the microfiche.", "c": ["Lisa", "Mensa member"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Would a nerd wear such an irreverent sweatshirt?", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Oh, only one person in a million would find that funny. - Yes, we call that the Dennis Miller ratio", "c": ["Lisa", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "You tell me everything you can before the commercial's over", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Bup, bup, bup, bup", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Are you sure you're a fully accredited and bonded pornographer?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Try not to speak. It's making your body ripple", "c": ["Photographer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Stop looking down my blouse, Copernicus", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Forsooth. Mine eyes doth rove of their own accord", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "What part of 'beat it' didn't you understand? - I guess it would be the 'it.' I'm not exactly sure to what that refers.", "c": ["Tough guy", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "How many gazebos do you she-males need?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Why do we live in a town where the smartest have no power and the stupidest run everything?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Faster, you moron", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "'We the people,' 'cruel and unusual,' blah, blah, blah. 'Ritual circumcision,' yak, yak, yak.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Or Walden Two. - Yeah, a real Candy Land! - Of the mind. The mind.", "c": ["Mensa member", "Comic Book Guy", "Mensa member"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "You have been chosen to join the Justice Squadron... 8:00 a.m. Monday at the Municipal Fortress of Vengeance", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "So now, we just have the red and yellow lights", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Man, I'm making record time, if only I had someplace to be", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "And instead of chasing a rabbit, the dogs chase a diploma", "c": ["Mensa member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Springfield has moved up to number 299 on the list of America's 300 most livable cities. Take that, East St. Louis.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "It's time to get Homer-erotic!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Remember this moment, people- 80 past 2:00 on April 47th. It's the dawn of an enlightened Springfield.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Why not both? Then everybody's happy. - Oh, yeah. Everyone's real happy then!", "c": ["Mensa member", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a real useful invention.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "It's like the set of some high-class porno film. - No, no. It's just our basement.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "But I was gonna score. - No, you weren't.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Also, boxing, both kick and the kind with the gloves. And hockey, football, push-ups... and anything in general where you have to take off your shirt, which is embarrassing", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "For many of you, this will mean much less breeding. For me, much, much more.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "You should all do what I say. My I.Q. is 199, for crying out glavin. 198. 197.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Big deal. My I.Q. is 280.", "c": ["Stephen Hawking"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "I wanted to see your utopia. But now I see it is more of a Fruitopia", "c": ["Stephen Hawking"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Larry Flynt is right! You guys stink!", "c": ["Mob member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "That's too clever. You're one of them!", "c": ["Mob member"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Time for this Hawk to fly. - Wrong button.", "c": ["Stephen Hawking"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Don't feel bad, Lisa. Sometimes the smartest of us can be the most childish. - Even you? - No, not me. Never.", "c": ["Stephen Hawking", "Lisa", "Stephen Hawking"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Hey, you read that off my screen", "c": ["Stephen Hawking"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Your theory of a doughnut-shaped universe is intriguing, Homer. I may have to steal it.", "c": ["Stephen Hawking"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Wow. I can't believe someone I never heard of... is hanging out with a guy like me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "I didn't say that. - Yes, I did. D'oh.", "c": ["Homer", "Stephen Hawking voice box"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 22, "et": "They Saved Lisas Brain"}, {"t": "Hey, why didn't you tell me the new issue of Weird was here? [Chuckles] I love their hilarious send-ups of hit movies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "'Gigabytes.' [Laughing] They've done it again. 'Gigabytes.' Wait-This isn't Weird. Why, there's no magazine called Weird, is there? This is Wired. It's about computers and technology.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "The Internet? Is that thing still around?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "I know a Web site that shows monkeys doin' it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Bart, the Internet is more than a global pornography network. It's a- [Horn Honks]", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Ach. Let's see what's been captured on the up-kilt camera.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Ew. This lass needs a bit of grounds keeping. Eh? Aah! That's Willie!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "My name is Mary. I'm 45, heavy and willing to settle for less.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Wow. This Mary's got the whole package.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "I invested in something called News Corp- Dad! That's Fox! [Screams] Undo! Undo!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "I invested in something called News Corp- Dad! That's Fox! Undo! Undo!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Oh, yes! Download to papa. [Beeping] Yoink dot adios, back-slash losers.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "It's just that you and Maude live like royalty in your fancy castle... while I got Marge trapped over there like a pig in a mud beehive.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "[Chuckling] We picked those up cheap. They were evidence at a murder trial.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "He taught us how to live... a Burt Reynolds lifestyle on a Mac Davis income.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Are you tired of missing out on the good things in life- Family vacations, jet packs, Solid Gold Dancers?", "c": ["Chuck Garabedian"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Well, what do you expect? These yokels are pure Baltic Avenue.", "c": ["Rich audience member"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "[Chuckles] Uh-oh! I'm late for the Short Line Railroad.", "c": ["Rich audience member"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "You see this tux? I got it cheap 'cause Roy Cohn died in it.", "c": ["Chuck Garabedian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "And those beautiful women? They used to be men.", "c": ["Chuck Garabedian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Hey, I squeezed so hard it went into my hand.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Ew. We're gonna do our grocery shopping at a 99-cent store? Well, maybe for your wedding.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Look, Mom. They have your dress. [Groans] Thirty-three cents? I paid almost double that.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Sure, by their standards, but we live in America.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Homer, you could have just unscrewed the bottom. A little late for 'could-haves,' Marge.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Are you going through our garbage? That's right. You fat cats didn't finish your plankton. Now it's mine.", "c": ["Chuck Garabedian"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "[With Jamaican Accent] No, mon, let's go home to Jamaica. I and I been in Babylon too long.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Oh, so Flanders thinks he can steal our vacation, huh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Sayonara, suckers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "You liked Rashomon. That's not how I remember it.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Besides, if we wanna see Japanese people we could have gone to the zoo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Besides, if we wanna see Japanese people... we could have gone to the zoo. Homer! What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Look, Mom. The safety instructions are written in haiku. 'Fasten seat belts tight. Your seat cushions float gently. Headsets, five dollars.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Sir, it is not safe to use electronic devices yet. You're the waitress.", "c": ["Flight attendant", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Yeah, isn't it amazing? They're filming one right now in the bathroom.", "c": ["Passenger"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Toga! Toga! Toga 2,000!", "c": ["Movie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Welcome. I am honored to accept your waste.", "c": ["Toilet voice"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Isn't this that cartoon that causes seizures? [Beeping] [Grunting, Groaning]", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Robots be right back.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Dad, we didn't come halfway around the world to eat at Americatown. I'd like to see the Japanese take on the club sandwich. I bet it's smaller and more efficient.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket. And? Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Howdy, gangstas. I am average American Joe salary-man waiter.", "c": ["Japanese waiter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Don't ask me. I don't know anything. I am product of American education system. I also build poor-quality cars and inferior-style electronics.", "c": ["Japanese waiter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Oh, my goodness. Homer, those are $150. It's worth every cent. I'm tired of fumbling with round fruit. D'oh!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "So many rice crackers claim to be low-cal... but only Fujikawa rice crackers make your interiors go bananas. What did I do to deserve this? Oh, right.", "c": ["Woody Allen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "What did I do to deserve this? Oh, right.", "c": ["Woody Allen"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Like we say in my county, 'Hasta la vista, baby.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Congratulations. I am the emperor. Yeah? And I'm 'clobber-saurus.'", "c": ["Emperor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "All hail Emperor Clobbersaurus.", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "In jail we had to be in this dumb Kabuki play about the 47 Ronin and I wanted to be Yoshi, but they made me Ori.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Don't worry, ichiban. I'll show you something Japanese.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Beats me. Try getting a job and earning some money. That's what I did. By the way, 'ambassador' is taken.", "c": ["US Ambassador"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out. Spare my life and I will grant you three wi- [Screams] Knife goes in, guts come out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Well, I haven't talked it over with the family- [Chuckles] but I think we'd all like a free dinner at Americatown.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Your shows reward knowledge. We punish ignorance. Ignor-What? [Screams]", "c": ["Game show host", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Is the answer 'Japan'? Actually, it is.", "c": ["Homer", "Game show host"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "He seems okay but he is being burned internally.", "c": ["Game Show Assistant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "If that's Homer, then who the hell's been puttin' beers on his tab? D'oh. Whoo-hoo. Uh-That boy ain't right.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "All you have to do is to pick them up from inside that volcano.", "c": ["Game Show Host"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "I sure hope they don't have an ice cream round. [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "I sure hope they don't have an ice cream round.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Don't worry, that 'lava' is just orangeade... made by our sponsor, Osaka Orangeade Concern. It burns! It burns! It's loaded with wasabi.", "c": ["Game show host", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Don't worry, that 'lava' is just orangeade made by our sponsor, Osaka Orangeade Concern.", "c": ["Game Show Host"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "It burns! It burns! It's loaded with wasabi.", "c": ["Family", "Host"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Game shows aren't about cruelty. They're about greed and wonderful prizes... like poorly built catamarans. But somewhere along the line, you lost your way.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Good-bye, Japan. I'll miss your Kentucky Fried Chicken... and your sparkling, whale-free seas.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Folks, we're experiencing some moderate Godzilla-related turbulence at this time.", "c": ["Pilot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "Folks, we're experiencing... some moderate Godzilla-related turbulence at this time, so I'm gonna go ahead... and ask you to put your seat belts back on.", "c": ["Pilot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 10, "e": 23, "et": "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "My children deserve to see me get a free gift", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "You're faking this to get the gift, aren't you? / But I liked the nice things you said about me", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "What ironment?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Yeah, and it's got a lot of other problems too", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Relax. We're in an electric car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "See? Everything's fine. / Dolphins! / Oopsie. Hi, girls!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Salt water seems to be good for it", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Help. Help. It burns.", "c": ["Electronic Voice"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "We didn't? That's odd. Seems like we would have done that right after we left the car place. / I know, but we didn't. / Well, here it is. / So we can open it and find out now. / Perfect.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Mel Gibson! / Who else is in it? / Who cares? Mel Gibson!", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Were you or Lenny ever named 'Sexiest Man Alive'? / I'm not certain about Lenny", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Homer, let's make love. / Uh, uh, okay.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "You're thinking about me, right? / Of course, Homie. Aren't you thinking about me? / I will now!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "the dynamic duo, William Milo and Robin Hannah, who green-lighted all of Shaquille O'Neal's movies, including Kazaam", "c": ["Edward Christian"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "How's the popcorn, guys? / Needs salt. / [Laughing]", "c": ["Edward Christian", "William and Robin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Will there be any flubber in this movie? / Glavin. / No, I'm afraid not. / Ah, for crying out glavin.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "John Travolta flew me in his jet. Now I have to help him move next weekend. He deliberately waited till we were in the air to ask me.", "c": ["Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Oh, Robin, you've got to see the director's cut of Booty Call. It's fabulous! / What, even better than the original? 'Cause that was pretty fabulous too.", "c": ["William Milo", "Robin Hannah"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "At least the Jimmy Stewart version had that giant rabbit who ran the savings and loan.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "It was nice to see a movie where people solve their problems with words, instead of bullets and chasing. / Oh, you're just saying that because your boyfriend was in it.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Listen, I don't want to get spotted by the crowd, so I'm gonna take a leak behind the Dumpster.", "c": ["Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "[Alarm Ringing] Look! It's Mel Gibson! Hey, everybody, rush over there!", "c": ["Homer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Well, I'll be reading yours personally. [Growls]", "c": ["Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Waste my time in front of this stupid- Appreciate it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Loved it despite absence of flubber. Glavin.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Your movie was more boring than church. All you did was yak, yak, yak. You didn't even shoot anybody.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Turn the plane around. I want to go to 742 Evergreen Terrace. / But you promised to help me move.", "c": ["Mel Gibson", "John Travolta"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Knock his teeth out, Homer. / Listen, Gibson, I'm tired of Hollywood pretty boys like you and Jack Valenti thinking you can have any woman you want.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "You see this? It symbolizes that she's my property, and I own her.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Don't sell your husband short, Mrs. Simpson. / She's always doing that, Mel.", "c": ["Mel Gibson", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "I speed all the time, but cops never give me a ticket. If I don't pay my taxes, the IRS pays them for me.", "c": ["Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "You had me at 'hello.' / I didn't say 'hello.'", "c": ["Homer", "Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "A minivan! Oh, boy, you celebrities sure know how to live. / What is this, Toyota Previa? / Dodge Caravan. / Sweet.", "c": ["Homer", "Mel Gibson", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Robert Downey Jr. is shooting it out with the police. / I don't see any cameras.", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Tourist"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "[Whispering] Mel's movie really stinks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Here you need a musical montage where you try on lots of funny hats. It'll let us see your playful side. / No. / Yeah, but- / Just no.", "c": ["Homer", "Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "That's where it used to be.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "And on your left, is the notorious spot where Hugh Grant- / Ew! / filmed the movie Nine Months. / Ew!", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Tourists"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "You want me to replace the villain with a dog? / They will if you set up that the dog is evil. All you have to do is show him doing this- [Hums dramatic theme]", "c": ["Mel Gibson", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "The country was doing great back then. Everyone was into talking. But now, in whatever year this is, the audience wants action.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "It's the most boring piece of garbage I've ever seen. And it's not easy for me to say that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "According to the map, this house is owned by the dog from Frasier.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "According to the map, this house is owned by the dog from Frasier.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "We're lesbians!", "c": ["Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Yield this, Senator Payne. [Grunts]", "c": ["Mr. Smith/Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "I move we impose some serious term limits. / I second that motion, with a vengeance!", "c": ["Mr. Smith/Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "All in favor, say 'Die.'", "c": ["Mr. Smith/Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Happy birthday, Mr. President.", "c": ["Mr. Smith/Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "You chopped off the president's head. / Bet you didn't see that coming.", "c": ["Executive", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "It was symbolism. He was mad!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Ew! Those movies sucked. I only saw them to get Marge into the sack. P.S. Mission accomplished.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "This is worse than Godfather III. / Whoa, whoa. Hey, whoa. Let's not say things we can't take back.", "c": ["Executive", "Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "You put me down, you big lummox! / Jed! / Shut up, old lady. And stop kicking me there!", "c": ["Irene Ryan", "Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "I'm getting too old for this crap. / How old are you anyway? / Well, I've been told I can play anywhere from 28 to- / Sorry I asked.", "c": ["Mel Gibson", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "I'm getting too old for this crap. / How old are you anyway? / Well, I've been told I can play anywhere from 28 to- / Sorry I asked.", "c": ["Mel Gibson", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Turn that Down Under frown upside down! We're not finished yet!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "No time talk. Need steal car. Must save powerful but controversial movie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Movies aren't stupid! They fill us with romance and hatred and revenge fantasies. Lethal Weapon showed us that suicide is funny.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "That really wasn't my intention.", "c": ["Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Before Lethal Weapon 2, I never thought there could be a bomb in my toilet. But now I check every time. / It's true. He does.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "They're my only escape from the drudgery of work and family. / No offense. / Ah, what the heck.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry, honey. I used up the last roll on that man I thought was Judge Judy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Oh, no! We killed Mel Gibson! / You all saw it. He came at me with a knife, right?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Oh, no! We killed Mel Gibson! / You all saw it. He came at me with a knife, right?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "I know, but he sells tickets.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Did Braveheart run away? Did Payback run away?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Your army mooned the enemy until they could take no more and surrendered. / No, they didn't. They attacked us in a horribly bloody battle. Remember? / Actually, I didn't see it.", "c": ["Homer", "Mel Gibson", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "It's your plan- from Braveheart. Your army mooned the enemy until they could take no more and surrendered. / No, they didn't. They attacked us in a horribly bloody battle. Remember? / Actually, I didn't see it.", "c": ["Homer", "Mel Gibson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "There's no room in today's wacky, misty-eyed America for violent dinosaurs like us. / How did the country lose its way, Mel? When did we stop rooting for the man with the flamethrower, or an acid-spraying gun of some kind?", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "How about a teen sex romp where you and your buddies are always trying to get some? / No, wait! A ghost who wins the lottery. You could be the ghost or the lottery commissioner.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "Hey, Mel! I fell out!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 1, "et": "Beyond Blunderdome"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Why, this is retardant. [Laughing] Sure is.", "c": ["Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "That's called a hose lengthener. [Laughing] You need one.", "c": ["Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Just read the label. It's a king-sized flamer! [Laughing Hysterically]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Look! A fire... engine. Stop that! Help! Help! Fire... helmets.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Sure, I can do something destructive.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Just say the word, and I'll drive this hoe in his back! I can make it look like suicide.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "And I want a bike, and a monkey, and a friend for the monkey-", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "At my house, we call 'em 'uh-ohs.'", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Tricks? That's rich. He's so inbred, he can barely stand up.", "c": ["Fireman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Fire can be our servant... whether it's toasting s'mores or raining down on Charlie.", "c": ["Fire Chief"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "What a great pot party! Wasn't it, man?", "c": ["Volunteer Fire Department Players"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Maybe we should get another smoke detector in case that one trips out on us. [Chuckling] Why bother, baby? One smoke detector's enough for Mad Dog.", "c": ["Volunteer Fire Department Players"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Stop, drop and roll, man! [Chuckling] That's for Clydes, baby. A little fire can't hurt you.", "c": ["Volunteer Fire Department Players"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "The fire burned through the night... and cost him the use of his pants.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Sorry to break character... but these stunt pants are gettin' pretty toasty! Roll, Neddie! Roll!", "c": ["Ned", "Others"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "It's not workin'! It just spreads the flame!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "What's it doing in the gymnasium? Yee-haw!", "c": ["Fire Chief", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Yeah. It all kind of came together.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Thank you for getting me out of work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Bart's latest escapade... goes far beyond the realm of the high jink.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "There. Now the floor is as good as new. [Groans] My sport goggles!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Your son is a ravenous demon, relentlessly gnawing at all that's good and true.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's something else, all right.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Hey, that looks like Bart.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "And turning to the 3-D map, we see an unmistakable cone of ignorance. Put it away! Put it away!", "c": ["Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "You mean like John Leguizamo?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Hi, Marge. It's me- Homer. [Clears Throat] What? Time to go?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Gimme an 'F'! [Gasps] Good Lord! Gimme an 'art'! He's gotten into the pep closet.", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "I'd say he's coming out of the pep closet. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "These are normal guinea pigs running around like idiots. [All Squealing] Now I'll give them some Focusyn.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "They become your slaves. Yes. But it's not about slavery. It's about helping kids concentrate.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "The only thing more effective is regular exercise. [Shudders]", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Some special helpers that'll make you a good boy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "All your favorite stars have used drugs. Brett Butler, Tim Allen- Tommy Lee. Andy Dick. He's just flamboyant. Yeah, and I'm a size four.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "[Gibberish continues]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Does Mr. Simpson have a demon, Daddy? Looks like it. Run and get Daddy's exorcism tongs. [Together] Yea!", "c": ["Ned", "Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Yes, I just thought you might love me enough to let me help you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Way to guilt him, Marge. It's what I do.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "I'm having some side effects from the dope. It's not dope! All I know is my testicles won't fit in my underwear.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Bart, get those oranges out of there. Back in the lunches you go. Ew, Mom!", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "I'll trade you a Claritin for one. Claritin-D? Nah. Can't help you.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "I take hormones to lower my voice. Now all I wanna do is fight. What are you lookin' at?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "You think you got it bad? I gotta wear a shock collar. [Screams] What was that for? I thought about a girl I like.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Hey, look at those dogs going at it! I wanna see 'em! I wanna see 'em! Fightin' over a fan belt. Dogs are outstanding.", "c": ["Students", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "What? You're still in your seat. Well, it's not like I never saw a dog before.", "c": ["Edna", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "You choked? You choked? Bart! Bart! Krusty just fired his associate producer. I'm reading.", "c": ["Krusty", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "'The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pre-Teens'?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Joke if you will, but did you know most people use 10% of their brains? I am now one of them.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "'Memo to self: Lock door.' 'Memo to self: Shut up, Lisa.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Cost of paper: five cents. A mother's love: priceless.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "No, but here's a book called Chicken Soup for the Loser... that gave Bill Buckner the courage to open a chain of laundromats.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "He organized all the lawsuits against me into one class action. That's gonna save all kinds of travel time.", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "I'll ask it how many leagues in a furlong. No, wait. I'll make it say, 'What's a-matter, you?' in Turkish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "A guy could do great things with a gadget like that. Yeah, a guy could do great things.", "c": ["Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "And why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? Because he took his eyes off the prize? That's right. You stay on the ball, you stay on the wall.", "c": ["Bart", "Native American boy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "He's gone from goofus to gallant. And we owe it all to mind-bending pills.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Ooh! Let's go to the water park! My 10-year ban ended yesterday.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Marge, this is the greatest gift... any wife has ever given her husband. I thought you'd like it.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Shut up, or I'll pound all of ya! [Yells]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "I heard about a new bar where men dance with men. Doesn't that sound adorable?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "RayJ. funny, or O.J. funny?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "You're probably wondering about the coat hangers. They're to block the satellite that's been spying on me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Hey, I had Lenny's name on that! They have it now.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Who else? Major League Baseball.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Hey, you found my needle-nose pliers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Oh, that was his idea. He said he felt fat.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "He quit blinking. He says that's when they get you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Hmm, and maybe some cyclobenzanone? That's a great idea!", "c": ["Marge", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "No! You can't take my Focusyn. I need every brain cell blazing to outwit my invisible enemies.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Uh-oh! Somebody's gonna have a tummy ache.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Hey, there was just air in mine.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "[Snickers] Looks like the kid who roughed up the Wilson widow.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Oh, my little guy's out there in the hot sun without his sombrero.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "But how do we know, Marge? How do we know?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Smithers, we're at war! I'll begin profiteering, sir. And hoarding.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Leave it to the Democrats to let the Spaniards back in the pantry.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "This is a job for the Green Lantern, Thundra... or possibly... Ghost Rider. What about Superman? Oh, please.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Come on! Get out! Noodles, Seesaw, Oopsie... Lobsweat, Hoohah, Jitters, Sir Wide Bottom!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "You've raised the bar for all of us, Simpson, and I thank you.", "c": ["Military officer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Shoot the tires out, Lou. Uh, it's a tank, Chief. You know what? I'm gettin' real tired of your excuses.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Why don't you just tell everybody?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "All right! Scud the school, dude!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Not the church! Jesus lives there!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "The frame store? You monster!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Not the sky! That's where clouds are born!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "That's the end of your loony tune, Drugs Bunny.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "I told you they were monitoring my activities. He's right! This thing's got info on everybody.", "c": ["Bart", "Lou"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Hi, folks. I'm Mark McGwire.", "c": ["Mark McGwire"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Young Bart here was right. We are spying on you pretty much around the clock.", "c": ["Mark McGwire"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Do you wanna know the terrifying truth... or do you wanna see me sock a few dingers? [All] Dingers! Dingers!", "c": ["Mark McGwire", "Crowd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Plus, you exposed the disturbing unreadiness of today's army.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Why is the zero made out of glass? Who cares? That man can really slug.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Why is the zero made out of glass? Who cares? That man can really slug.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "From now on, it's nothing but fresh air... lots of hugs and good old-fashioned Ritalin.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "When I can't stop fiddlin' I just takes me Ritalin / I'm poppin' and sailin', man", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "Oh, why'd you have to shush? You ruined the whole show!", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 2, "et": "Brothers Little Helper"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "I hope you all enjoy your ride to... and tour of the Springfield Shopper newspaper. Groundskeeper Willie and I will stay behind... to remove all traces of asbestos and the word 'evolution' from our school.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Next stop, Margaritaville! Uh- Oh, they're still here. Yes.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Come to think of it, I haven't seen Uter since the last field trip. [Chuckling] Uter? I don't remember any Uter. [Chuckling] Silly name. Uter.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Don't worry, sweetie. Daddy's got it covered. [Homer singing] I work hard for the money... Turn tape over!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Now, there's an employee, Smithers. A smile on his lips and a song in his heart. Promote him.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "I spy with my little eye... something beginning with 'D.' Dingus! God bless you, Nelson Muntz. I'm no hero. I just like to hit people in the head.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Hey, you [Beep]! You cut me off! Oh, yeah! [Beep] you! Dad! That's an ambulance! Oh, right. [Beep] ambulance! Think you're so big with your [Beep Beep] siren... and your letters on backwards!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Think you're so big with your [Beep Beep] siren and your letters on backwards!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Here we are, kids. The zoo. Well, that's great, Dad. Except you were supposed to drive us to the newspaper.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "If he's so smart, how come he's dead?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Over the years, the Shopper merged... with the Springfield Times, Post, Globe, Herald, Jewish News and Hot Sex Weekly... to become Springfield's number-one newspaper.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Hi! Are you interested in a subscription to the Shopper? Low introductory rates! No, you gotta help ol' Gil. What's it gonna take to keep you on the phone? Dance for ya? But you wouldn't even see it. You- [Chuckling] All right. I'm dancin'!", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Who here reads Mary Worth? Let's move on.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "This is where we store Ann Landers and Dear Abby for their 23 hours of daily sleep. My advice is to free us or let us die!", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Ann Landers/Dear Abby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Ooh! Pointless nostalgia!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "I'd sure hate to be him. [Laughs, Groans]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "And to protect Mother Earth... each copy contains a certain percentage of recycled paper. What percent is that? Zero! Zero's a percent.", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Hey, I smell cake. Cake that says- [Sniffs] 'Farewell' and- [Sniffs, Gasps] 'Best Wishes!' Your old man has an awesome nose. Oh, that's nothing. He can hear pudding.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "What can I say except thanks for the predictable champagne... pizza that's hardly numero uno... and ice cream cake which reminds us... why make 31 flavors when you can't get vanilla right?", "c": ["Mimi (Food Critic)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "pizza that's hardly numero uno and ice cream cake which reminds us why make 31 flavors when you can't get vanilla right?", "c": ["Food Critic"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "I wouldn't want to be married to her. I mean, again.", "c": ["Editor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, I like food, all right. I like pizza, I like bagels, I like hot dogs with mustard and beer... I'll eat eggplant, I could even eat a baby deer... Who's that baby deer on the lawn there? Enough already!", "c": ["Homer", "Editor"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "No, it usually takes a few hours.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Thanks for the chance. You won't never regret this, Mr. Editing Guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "We don't need no stinkin' 'E.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "'Food Box- Go or No Go, by Homer--' Earl- No! Bill Simpson!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, you keep using words like 'pasghetti' and 'momatoes.' You make numerous threatening references to the U.N. And at the end you repeat the words 'Screw Flanders'... over and over again.", "c": ["Editor"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "You make numerous threatening references to the U.N. And at the end you repeat the words 'Screw Flanders' over and over again.", "c": ["Editor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, it's so hard to get to 500 words.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Still not clean. Stink of failure still on me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, we went to P\u00e2t\u00e9 LaBelle last week. How about that? Great. Now, let me think. The food was- Mmm- not undelicious. The food is delicious. [Gasps] That's brilliant.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, we went to P\u00e2t\u00e9 LaBelle last week. How about that?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Hmm. What's the English equivalent for [Groaning]? I'd say 'transcendent.' How about 'groin-grabbingly transcendent'?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "497, 498 words. How about 'Screw Flanders'? Bon app\u00e9tit. Ehh, both's good.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Not bad! Not bad at all! We're gonna run this on page one... of section H-2. Whoo-hoo! Stop the presses! [Gasps] [Alarms Blaring] Okay, start the presses! That takes four hours. Whatever. I'll be at Moe's.", "c": ["Editor", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Marge. Shh. It's important that no one knows that I'm a food critic. Hear that, Maude? Homer's a critic. Homer's a critic. Pass it on.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Maude", "Other Characters"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Did you hear? Homer's a critic. Quit changing the subject! Where is Uter? We just want closure.", "c": ["Various Characters"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Quit changing the subject! Where is Uter? We just want closure.", "c": ["Parents"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Arr! Here you are. One critic's special. If anything appears to be movin'... that's just freshness.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "If you could just get somebody to pay you for scratching your butt, we'll be on easy street.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Wah! My first published article! Although someone else's name is on it. Heh-heh. Welcome to the humiliating world of professional writing.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Welcome to Planet Springfield... the restaurant owned by me, Chuck Norris... Johnny Carson's third wife and the Russian mafia.", "c": ["Planet Springfield Hostess"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "[Gasps] There's the coffee mug from Heartbeeps! And there's the cane from Citizen Kane! Wait a minute. There was no cane in Citizen Kane.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "And there's that awful script from The Cable Guy. Lemme see. Stupid script! Nearly wrecked Jim Carrey's career!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer! Great call on that chicken place. And on that rib place! I never knew everything was so good!", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Yes, Simpson, your love of food is contagious. I've never felt jollier. [Cracking] Ooh. There go my shin bones again.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Are you gonna fire me for swiping office supplies? No. Whew! [Clacking]", "c": ["Homer", "Editor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Why, you- You made them cancel Platypus Man! And The Cosby Mysteries! That show had limitless possibilities!", "c": ["Homer", "TV Critic"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Just got back from the gopher poison show in Paris. Let me tell you something- the days of clubbing them with a baseball bat are over! For you, perhaps.", "c": ["Farm Supply Critic", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Everything's a rave. 'Nine thumbs up'? What the hell is that?", "c": ["Critic"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "The only bad review you gave was to a slice of pizza you found under the couch. It lost some points 'cause it had a Hot Wheel on it.", "c": ["Critic"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "We see 'John Deere has come out with this year's line of rototillers. Surprise, surprise- they're green! I say it's time to send John Deere a 'Dear John.''", "c": ["Farm Critic"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Lord, thy daughters... Goneril, Regan and Cordelia. What is this, merry old England or Petticoat Junction?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "This pea soup is as weak as the acting and nowhere near as hammy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "The other critics told me to be mean. You should always give in to peer pressure. But what if someone bad tells me to- Always!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, I got one! How do you make a King Lear? Put the queen in a bikini! Here's another one. 'Knock knock.' 'Who's there?' 'Juliet.' 'Juliet who?' Juliet so much pasta fazool, Romeo doesn't want her anymore!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Juliet so much pasta fazool, Romeo doesn't want her anymore!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Whoa, tough crowd. They're booing Shakespeare!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Uh, not bad... if lasagna is Italian for 'pile of puke'! Aah! I chopp-a you good! Well, I hope you cut me better than you did these string beans. Hmm. I seem to be missing a piece of my ear. Touch\u00e9.", "c": ["Homer", "Luigi"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Sorry, Marge. I'm afraid this gets my lowest rating ever- seven thumbs up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Marge, I'm sorry, but your cooking's only got two moves- shake and bake. You like Shake 'n Bake! You used to put it in your coffee!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? What's a palate? Oh, it's a... special time in a boy's life when- Gotta go!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "So come to The Legless Frog... if you want to get sick and die and leave a big, garlicky corpse! P.S. Parking was ample.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "People will think what I tell them to think when you tell me what to tell them to think.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Nobody talks to me that way! I'm Homer Simpson, the most powerful food critic in town... who will never get his comeuppance! You hear me? No comeuppance!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "The food at the Gilded Truffle really, uh-What's a good word? [Sucking] Sucks! That's great! And the bread was really- Come on! Help me out here! Ruff!. Rough? I don't know. You've been pitchin' that all night.", "c": ["Homer", "Santa's Little Helper"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Ruff! Rough? I don't know. You've been pitchin' that all night. Chewy? Chewy! That's inspired!", "c": ["Homer", "Santa's Little Helper"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Homer, what gives with this review? You say 'the salad tastes like bark'... and the potatoes were very 'Grrrrr!' This reads like it was written by a dog. Are you crazy? A dog can't type. [Mutters] Unfortunately.", "c": ["Editor", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "This reads like it was written by a dog. Are you crazy? A dog can't type. [Mutters] Unfortunately.", "c": ["Editor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Astrology, Broom-Hilda, vacation horror stories... articles about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome- you know, chick crap.", "c": ["Editor"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Homer, he's outta control-a. He gave me a bad-a review! So my friend put a horse head on his bed. He ate-a the head and gave it a bad review! True story.", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Arr, it covered up the 'D' from the health inspector.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Are we restauranteurs, or are we murderers? Does that answer your question?", "c": ["Akira", "Luigi"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "This will be Homer Simpson's last lagniappe.", "c": ["French Chef"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Then he'll get his just dessert.", "c": ["French Chef"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Come on! You're gonna kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of change.", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "This \u00e9clair has over one million calories. Twenty-five pounds of butter per square inch. Covered with chocolate so dark... light cannot escape its surface.", "c": ["French Chef"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Death by chocolate. [Laughs] Oh. And poison. I'll stick in some poison.", "c": ["French Chef"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge, something bad usually happens to me when I go in anywhere. [Whistling] D'oh! Ohh! [Grunting] A bat. Now, that's a new one.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge, something bad usually happens to me when I go in anywhere.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Lard ho! Arr, 'tis a good sign. Homer's unfastened the top button on his pants. Uh, no, he's been walking around like that since Thanksgiving.", "c": ["Sea Captain", "Luigi"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "I'm surprised he just doesn't give it up and go for sweat pants. He says the crotch wears out too fast. Yarrr! That's gonna replace the whale in my nightmares!", "c": ["Luigi", "Sea Captain"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Yarrr! That's gonna replace the whale in my nightmares!", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "[Sighs] Only your father could take a part-time job at a small-town paper... and wind up the target of international assassins.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Ooh, that looks scrumdiddly-doodly-duddley- Get lost! A rude Frenchman? Well, I never!", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "French Chef"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Dad, no! It's gonna kill you! Ehh, I've had a good run. [Grunting] Don't, uh- Um, it's low-fat! No!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Take him into custardy, boys! Hah! Lou and his frittatas! [Laughing] Frittatas! Oh, he likes eggs.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Whew! That was close. Thank God it landed in that smoking crater!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Lisa, the important thing is I didn't get my comeuppance, and I never will", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "Run! [All Shouting] [Elephants Trumpeting] [Homer Groaning, Whimpering] [Homer] I'm finally getting my comeuppanceI", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 3, "et": "Guess Whos Coming To Criticize Dinner"}, {"t": "if you haven't been probed by these two... you haven't been probed", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "He had to borrow a human brain", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "I still can't believe we escaped from those horrible vampires. But it was worth it to get back our Super Sugar Crisp cereal", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "# Guess I forgot to put the fog lights in #", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Please be a dog", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "He's definitely dead! Oh, my God. We killed Ned Flanders", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "You mean you killed Ned Flanders", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "And if anyone asks you, just say that you are not dead", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "[ Imitating Ned ] Hi, Maude. Diddly. I've been having fun with my pal Homer. Diddly", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "But when I do die, I don't want any autopsies", "c": ["Homer as Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "[ Imitating Ned ] Hey, Maude. I'm home. Uh-oh! I think I'm having a heart attack!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "When I think about Ned, I can't help but remember the look on his face when Marge drove over-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Anyway, in conclusion, a man cannot be forced to testify against his wife", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Hey. We just got away with murder. And it was so easy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "You know, I've never liked that little wiener Milhouse", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Oh! Hey, Homer. It's Moe. I must have dialed the wrong number", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "And I'll go skinny-dipping in that lake... where the sexy teens were killed a hundred years ago tonight", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "You can't kill the undead, silly", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "# Guess I forgot to put the fog lights in #", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Hey, foamy. I want the news, not the weather", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Diddly!", "c": ["Werewolf Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Eyes bigger than your stomach, eh, wolfie?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, we got feelings too, Chief", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "I don't think the real Radioactive Man wears a plastic smock with a picture of himself on it. He would on Halloween", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "She's been crushed. And so have the hopes of our Mathletics team", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "I must only use this power to annoy", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Well, whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Wizard. Ah, for glavin out loud.", "c": ["Lucy Lawless", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Oh, please. I'm not insane. I simply wish to take you back to my lair and make you my bride", "c": ["The Collector"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "It was fired only once.. to keep William Shatner from making another album", "c": ["The Collector"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Obi-Wan. Iron Man. Mr. Mxyzptlk. And, of course, Big Papa Smurf", "c": ["The Collector"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Come here, you. Xena needs \"xex.\"", "c": ["Lucy Lawless"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "What do you think I've been trying to do?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "You removed it from its original packaging! It's no longer a collectible!", "c": ["The Collector"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Must end life in classic Lorne Greene pose... from Battle star Galactica. Best... death... ever!", "c": ["The Collector"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Xena can't fly. I told you. I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless", "c": ["Bart", "Lucy Lawless"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "We're not White snake, dude. We're Poison. I thought we were Quiet Riot. It says here we're Ratt", "c": ["Band Members"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Man alive! What a stinko thousand years. Blimp wrecks. Teenagers.", "c": ["Dick Clark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Doing what now?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "That can't be true, honey. If it were, I'd be terrified", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "We want to thank Dixie brand mayonnaise. Whoo, Lordy, what a mayonnaise!", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Who's gonna clean up all those jets?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Well, those ivory-tower eggheads have screwed us again", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Hey. This milk's broken. It's got a computer chip in it", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "I resisted these for 35 years. Why did I wear them today?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "But I was gonna loot you a present", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "I don't want you looting. But I was gonna loot you a present.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Wonders, Lisa? Or blunders?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Implied, Lisa? Or implode?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Nectar. Nectar. I need to drink my weight in nectar", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "I can still hear his voice on the wind", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Certainly. I am... the, uh, piano genius from the movie Shine. Uh, Shiny McShine", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Remember me as I am- filled with murderous rage!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "And I could've, 'cause I'm a big guy, and I'm good with knots", "c": ["Tom Arnold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth. Gonna work on my \"tannage,\" buddy", "c": ["Homer", "Pauly Shore"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Rosie O'Donnell! Come on, everybody! Sing along!", "c": ["Homer", "Rosie O'Donnell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Dad. We'll be dead in five minutes. Not fast enough!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror X"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Oh, my. War is terrible.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Buzz Cola, the taste you'll Kill for. Available in 'ze' lobby.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Do they really think cheapening the memory of our veterans will sell soda? I have to go to 'ze' lobby!", "c": ["Character in theater"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "You're not supposed to go to the bathroom without washing your hands either. Touch\u00e9.", "c": ["Theater worker", "Customer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "To the top, please. Swim, my pretties.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "What? 'N'? What does 'N' stand for? No, no. It's a 'Z.' I am Zorro. 'Z' for Zorro.", "c": ["Homer as Zorro"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "I have come to return King Arthur to the throne. It's a history lesson come to life! No, it isn't. It's totally inaccurate.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "'S.P.'? The Scarlet Pimpernel? We're just, uh, friends.", "c": ["Homer", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "You're pouring hot butter on my leg! Shh, shh, shh!", "c": ["Patron", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Sir, I demand satisfaction. I challenge you to a duel. Do you accept or are you a coward? I... am a coward!", "c": ["Homer", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Whoo! You go, Zorro! I, King Arthur, declare Zorro the new king of England!", "c": ["Movie Audience", "King Arthur"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "From the 'Z'to the 'O' to the double 'R'-'O' / He's the dude in a mask from the barrio / With his horse and his mask and his big ol'sword / He'll cut your butt from a '52 Ford", "c": ["Rapper"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Oh, move it, Q-tip! Ha!", "c": ["Homer", "Old man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Will you duel, or are you a coward? Would a coward do this? Bye!", "c": ["Homer", "Old man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "'H' is for Homer! Thanks, Homer.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Mother, please! You're embarrassing me. No, I'm not. Seymour needs the toilet! His bladder's full- full of urine!", "c": ["Seymour Skinner", "Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Heavyset? What's that supposed to mean? Take it easy. Take it easy. I'm just sayin'. You ain't no, uh, Tommy Tune.", "c": ["Moe", "Patron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Hey, a duel? I, eh- Isn't that a little extreme? Here, here, have a free beer. Really? But you've never given anyone a free beer.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "And I owe it all to a little glove slap. [Musical sequence about glove slapping]", "c": ["Homer", "Various singers"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Coming through. Challenge. Duel. Hi, Lenny. How dare you? Demand satisfaction.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Pistols at dawn? Oh, why did I have to slap a guy who says 'suh'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "You'll need a will and a headstone. Aisle six. Aisle six? [Groans]", "c": ["Store clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "The National Weather Service says dawn is still scheduled for 6:20 tomorrow... and to please stop calling.", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's probably just a big blowhard like you. Sir, that is an insult! I challenge you-What?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Oh, honey, I had the worst nightmare. This glove kept slapping people, and I was getting blamed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no. You'll get sap on your dueling blouse.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "It looks like you were saved by a Christmas tree. And somebody wanted to get rid of it in April.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "You know, I've always wanted to tell you how much- [Phone recording] To continue talking, please deposit 10 cents. Aw, screw it.", "c": ["Homer", "Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "That has people living in it. You can see them through the windows. Lousy showoffs.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Could you build us a house, President Carter? We can't go back to ours. I'm sorry. These are for the truly needy. Yeah. Get your own habitat.", "c": ["Homer", "Jimmy Carter", "Other volunteer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Come on, Carter. Build us a house, you lazy bum! You have offended me, sir. I challenge you to- [Screams] Come back here! Why, you yellow-bellied-", "c": ["Homer", "Carter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "'Rural Route 9'? That's it! We can hide out at the farm where I grew up!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "What a dump! Race you to the swimmin' hole! [Laughing] Come on, Ma! Bring the young-uns! There's no leeches! Ow, ow, ow! Lots of snakes though!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Holy moly! We can't stay here! It's full of raccoons! Just think of'em as cats with rabies.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "The Simpsons will be reborn as a bunch of gap-toothed bumpkins! I'll dig an outhouse! I'll weed the floor! I'll repress the rage I'm feeling! That's my girl.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "It doesn't sound very tractor-y. Hang on. And there. [Clattering, chugging] Now we're talking!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Go get Lassie! Lassie? I mean Lisa.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Oh, you poor little sheep! No one's sheared you for years. Soon you'll be a nice, cool- [Screams] Rat!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Well, well. Look at the city slicker pulling up in his fancy German car. This car was made in Guatemala. Well, pardon us, Mr. Gucci Loafers. I bought these shoes from a hobo.", "c": ["Neighbor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Well, I know your soil p.H. is up around 9.6, and you need it seven to eight max. Oh, that's just superstition!", "c": ["Neighbor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Not if you're plantin' gummy bears. D'oh!", "c": ["Neighbor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Maybe it needs more fertilizer. I'm only one man, Marge.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey. Leave me alone, you big bully. Oh, I'm just razzin' ya. It's my way.", "c": ["Farmer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Oh, who am I kidding? I'm no farmer. Well, if it isn't Mr. Salad Fork. You couldn't grow stink on a monkey.", "c": ["Homer", "Neighbor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "More tumbleweed, Lisa? [Lisping] No, thanks. I'm still finishing my thistles.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Wasn't skipping town in the first place a coward's way out? Oh, you're right! [Sobbing] I'm a coward!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Plutonium? Gee, Homer, isn't that kind of risky? Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Hey, Lenny, sending some outgoing mail? You know it. I'll probably send some tomorrow. I hear that.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Sometimes you have to break the rules to free your heart. You got that from a movie poster.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Well, when there's nothing left to believe in, believe in hope. Where'd you get that? From the producers of Waiting to Exhale.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "But didn't Grasshopperus kill Chad Everett? Only 'cause he tried to reason with him.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "All right now, don't panic. It's possible the giant vegetables are invisible.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "This farm's hopeless. Why didn't I listen to those inbred hicks? I guess I'll just go hang myself in the barn. Homer, no! Let him go, Mom.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "[Gags, coughs] Tastes like cigarette butts! Hmm. That's odd. The outside looks like a tomato, but the inside is brown.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Gimme! I want more! I thought you said it tasted terrible. It does. But it's smooth and mild. And refreshingly addictive.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Tomacco? That's pretty clever, Dad. I mean, for a product that's evil and deadly.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Oh, Daddy! This tastes like Grandma! Holy Moses! It does taste like Grandma!", "c": ["Ralph", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Can I interest you in a mincemeat pie? They're very- Does it have tomacco in it? No, but I use only the- Pass!", "c": ["Vendor", "Customer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Kids are crazy about tobacco, but the politicians won't let us sell it to them. Those dirty, rotten- Tell me about it.", "c": ["Tobacco Executive", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Dad, it's a tobacco company! They make billions off the suffering and deaths of others. She's right, Dad. They can afford a lot more.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Did you see the way Emil's looking at Mindy? Hoo-hoo! I think something's going on there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "The least we can accept is 150 billion! They'll be back. We control the world's supply of tomacco... and no one can take that away from-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Look! A flying saucer! Hmm? [Laughing] Hmm.", "c": ["Homer", "Animals"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "You're about to launch a terrible evil on the world! You've gotta destroy this plant! I know, honey. But what can I do as an individual?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Give them the plant, Homer! No. I'd rather die! [Screeches] Aah! Take it!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "So, Mindy, how did you want to pay me the 150 million? Cash'll be okay. Or stock!", "c": ["Homer", "Mindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Hey, props to Mindy on the grab! Boo-ya!", "c": ["Tobacco executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Guys, we seem to be carrying a little extra weight. [Chuckles] Don't look at me. I'm on Sugar Busters.", "c": ["Pilot", "Executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "[Sniffing] What is that intoxicatin' aroma? Could that be- I say, could that be mincemeat pie?", "c": ["Colonel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Hey! Are we duelin'or what? Oh, where are my manners? [Screaming]", "c": ["Colonel", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Hey! Are we duelin' or what? Oh, where are my manners?", "c": ["Dueling Partner", "Colonel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "You okay, Dad? I think so. The bone stopped the bullet. Dad, this might be one of those things you should go to the hospital for. After pie.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 5, "et": "E I E I Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Need more snooze. [Muttering]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm 26 hours late for work. No time for Maggie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "This would be a lot easier without all these people.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "How'd you like a Details magazine up the wazoo?", "c": ["Road Rage Driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. Single me out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Okay. You just bought yourself a 3-17: pointing out police stupidity. Or is that a 3-14? Nah, nah. 3-14 is a dog, uh- No. Or is that a 3-15? You're in trouble, pal!", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Big ugly nose. Bald. Liver spot. Liver spot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "No! I can't get in trouble if I can't see you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "I knew I had those installed for a reason.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Yeah. And even a teaspoon could cause a fatal tumor.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "The cooling tank just blew, and they're taking Lenny to the hospital. Oh, no! Not Lenny! Not Lenny!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Are 'Poo' and 'Ass' taken? Yeah. Damn! Could my life get any worse?", "c": ["Homer", "Bowling Alley Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Even for a bowler, you're fat.", "c": ["Unknown bowler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Ah, actually, I'd say you're having a severe psychotic episode.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Hey, if that's psychotic, then why am I takin' these?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Will you at least call it a 'banana split,' you dumb wad?", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Hey, spare me your gutter mouth!", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "We knew it contained spider eggs... but the hantavirus- well, that really came out of left field.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "This could be the greatest individual achievement in the history of Springfield. Which proves just how pitiful this town is.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Why won't they come over? I'm so lonely.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "This is as fast as I can move.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "In your face, to-do list!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "But there was someone else with me on that alley. I'm talkin' about the big man- Carl!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson bowled a perfect game... without the aid of steroids, crack, angel dust... or the other narcotics that are synonymous with pro bowling.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Will you be my dad? [Chuckling] You've got a father. He's just a dud.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Pumpkin face? Headgear? Chicken pox? Smelly? Lazy eye? Spikyhead?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "There's a stairway, dumb-ass!", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Well, that- Uh, well, wait. Uh, do I read from the sheet labeled 'jokes' or 'answers'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Flavor of the month? Me? Yeah, Homer. You can't just ride one accomplishment forever.", "c": ["Homer", "Ron Howard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Why do you think I stopped acting and became a director? I don't know. 'Cause you weren't cute anymore?", "c": ["Ron Howard", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Hello, everybody! Did somebody say 'A perfect game'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Hey, I thought you never talked. Uh, I didn't mean to. Huh. It just slipped out.", "c": ["Homer", "Teller"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "He'll do it. I'm not the first Teller.", "c": ["Teller"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Are you as bored as I am with the antics of this warmed-over Fred Flintstone? I say it's time to put this one-trick pony out to stud.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "They did it to Jesus, and now they're doing it to me. Are you comparing yourself to our Lord? Well in bowling ability", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "As your life partner, I'm very worried.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "A shred of what? Sorry. I was counting the cocktail radishes. Now, where was I? Uh, two, three- three radishes. Three big radishes.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Yeah, less chat, more splat, pal!", "c": ["Bystander"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Ooh! Morlocks. C.H.U.D.'s. Mole people! There is no escape from the fortress of the moles!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Not anymore, Ron. Now I'm looking for something to dedicate my life to. Something noble, but easy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Well, it's a different zoo containing animals you've never heard of.", "c": ["Ron Howard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Daddy, we're missing the Fantastapotamus. She only sings twice a day.", "c": ["Ron Howard's daughter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Usually when you say that, you give the money back. I do what now?", "c": ["Ron Howard", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Over the years, I've learned to find father figures wherever I can. Construction workers, the Internet and Nelson here.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Hi, Maggie. I'm Homie-Womie, the Teletubbie. And I'm all man, in case you heard otherwise.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "See, Maggie? The ocean is just like a bathtub. Except instead of rubber duckies... it has barracudas and moray eels.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "I know. If I sink to the bottom, I can run to the shore.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Maggie, call Aquaman!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "Actually, that was before I went in the ocean. I don't want to pry into your personal life- Then don't!", "c": ["Homer", "Doctor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "But you stepped over the line just a little bit... so I'll have to give you a five. And that gives you a final score of... 295.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 6, "et": "Hello Gutter Hello Fadder"}, {"t": "These Swedish furniture designers sure have some far-out ideas. I mean, a green table. I wouldn't have thought of that in my wildest dreams.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Arr! She swallowed me whole. You put it together yourself. All you need is me-Allen Wrench.", "c": ["Captain McCallister"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "He's named after what he is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "It's not a costume. They found me inside a meteor. Help. I need tungsten to live. Tungsten!", "c": ["Robot/Alien character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "You don't want something that overshadows the pencils.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Mom, no. Everyone at school picks on the P\u00f6pli kids. Even I do. I just hate them so much.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Yes, I will have the plopenlugen. And don't skimp on the doodlemunch.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "How ingenious. The forks are made out of Lego.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Hey, Apu. Manjula. You guys are still married?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Pay up, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Maggie loves baby talk. That was Hindi.", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "On the other hand, monkey see, monkey do.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "You can teach 'em to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the Internet and all.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "I've noticed this country is dangerously underpopulated.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Who will float my corpse down the Ganges?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Oh, Apu, take me now. Oh, Calcutta!", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "By chilling my loins, I increase the chances of impregnating my wife.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Whoa-ho! Too much information! Thanks for the mental picture! Why don't you tell us what you really think?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Would you stop spouting those hackneyed quips? Could you be any more- Hello!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Um, how 'bout one not touching your ass?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Whoa. Manjula has begun to ovulate.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Oh, lemon.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "All that sex for nothing.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "But the cans seal in the flavor.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Decided? That's classic. 'Decided.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Oh! Homer, we have tried everything- oysters, gravity boots, Sanjay's bed, every possible position.", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Really? On top and underneath?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Uh, I'm willing to play the high school jock... but did you have to cut the roof off my car?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Hup-hup-hup-hup. That's an Apu question. You're Greg.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "I- I thought I was going to Ivy League State. My mistake. Stay in the moment.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Baby. Baby. Pirate?", "c": ["Apu", "Manjula"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "No, no, wait a minute! Pirates are wild! We are pregnant!", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "I'll say. I learned the true meaning of Columbus Day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "I became the most popular girl in school... but blew it by being conceited. And then I learned the true meaning of winter.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "You are beautiful and silky and manageable. You're reading that off a conditioner bottle.", "c": ["Apu", "Manjula"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Gil's moving up to the big leagues, boy. Oh, my back.", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "We had quite a discussion about the funniest way to reveal them to you.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "It rolls off your tongue and into your heart- 'octuplets.'", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Yeah, that. It looked just like that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Well, that would only account for quintuplets. Did anyone else slip this woman fertility drugs?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Mine tasted like strawberry. Mmm. 'Ovulicious.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Would you say you and your babies have a 'love eight' relationship? No, say it! We need a sound bite.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "How would you respond to people who say this kind of multiple birth... is more suited to, say, a possum than a human being? Who would say such a thing? Well, pundits, wags. I'm not the one on trial here.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Apu"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Well, pundits, wags. I'm not the one on trial here.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Free baby cola! Apu hits the jackpot and I'm stuck with these useless one-tuplets!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Gee, sorry for being born. I've been waiting so long to hear that.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "They only gave us three crates. They can rot in hell.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Some say eight babies is a blessing... but they don't know the joy of nine. Would you say you're on 'cloud nine'?", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Nine babies? That's barbaric! Nonuplets? Now that's something you don't see every day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Oh, I just had the most beautiful dream where I died.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "How do you get cradle rash when you sleep in a suitcase?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "I can't believe you don't shut up.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Although he thinks one or two might just be going along with the crowd.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Eight kids? Mmm. I'm sterile, right, baby doll? Yes, dear. From the nuclear plant. Beautiful.", "c": ["Barney", "wife"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Welcome to my nightmare.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Oh, hallelujah. Our problems are solved. We have banana bread.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Banana bread! What the hell were you thinking? Banana bread.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Banana bread! What the hell were you thinking? Banana bread.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "As a token of forgiveness, please take this baby.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Who cares? There's only one of him.", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "What? Everybody loves my zoo. You don't love my zoo? I dare you to look at a kangaroo and not laugh. I dare you.", "c": ["Larry Kidkill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "If your mother was a vampire and your father was a Frankenstein... how come you are a werewolf? Huh. I never thought of that. Doesn't make sense, does it?", "c": ["Homer", "Butch Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm a notary. So I got that goin' too.", "c": ["Kidkill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "If you're not in a diaper, get off my stage.", "c": ["Larry Kidkill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Welcome to Octopia!", "c": ["Kidkill"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Say hello to the baddest baby in the whole damn town-Animal.", "c": ["Kidkill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "How can he rebel? He doesn't even know where he is.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "And now the stand-up who can't even sit up... give it up for Punch Line!", "c": ["Larry Kidkill"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Work with Dazzle. She's a lox out there.", "c": ["Larry Kidkill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Paid me off? What, are you crazy? Mmm. Mmm.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Well, they might give Dazzle back. The buzz is she's got one more show to turn it around.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, a lot of people are doing that these days.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Show's over! Show's over! Next show at 8:00 and 10:00.", "c": ["Kidkill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "Stupid mongoose! Get the snake! The snake! Do I look like a snake?", "c": ["Butch Patrick"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 7, "et": "Eight Misbehavin"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "A man who holds the current record for least amount of faces, with none! Help me!", "c": ["TV Announcer", "Faceless Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "You'll also see the world's smelliest tumor!", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Ew! These records used to be real accomplishments. Now they're just gross.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Plus, you'll meet a dog who can't predict anything.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Then three other things.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "What an age we live in. Oh, look at all that Sweet'N Low!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "I remember television!", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "[Announcer] Actual year may vary, Consult calendar for current year,", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Why don't we eat there tonight? - Nah. We'll go next month.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Dennis the Menace? Yes. I was America's bad boy. I once hid my dad's hat!", "c": ["Dennis the Menace"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "And another time, I accidentally stepped in Mr. Wilson's flower bed. That was a two-part episode.", "c": ["Dennis the Menace"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Allen Gaines Burgers 'Un-American Cheese Sandwich'? 'Polio Dogs'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "It's clever how the names remind you of the '50s and at the same time, tell you what there is to eat.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "I feel like I've gone back in a time machine. - Dad, they have those everywhere.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "What an age we live in. [Chuckling]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Oh, my throat doctor says I'm not supposed to do that anymore.", "c": ["Greaser Host"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Don't try and make me. If I have to get a divorce, I will!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Our grand prize tonight is a vintage 1955 Harley-Davidson motorcycle, - I need a dance partner!", "c": ["Host", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Well, well, well. I have never seen such reckless disregard for a wife's well-being in my life. You just won yourselves a motorcycle!", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Finally I've won the respect of my fellow m- Get away from it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Well, that dream is over. At least we still have each other. Right, honey? Honey? [Wind Blowing]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Man, you're bending the hell out of that kickstand, Dad. Why don't you just take it for a ride? - Promise you won't laugh? - Yeah, I promise. - I don't know how. - [Laughing]", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "You're kidding! You don't know how!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "If you weren't a man And my father too I'd buy you a diamond ring And then I'd marry you", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Today we'll be sitting quietly in the dark because teacher has a hangover. It's like a chainsaw in my head!", "c": ["Ms. Krabappel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Remember to rebel against authority, kids! - Don't listen to him, children. - We already did.", "c": ["Homer", "Principal Skinner", "Students"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "The sermon today is on John 4:13. I think it was Jesus who said, 'Blessed are those'- Oh, the heck with it. Church dismissed.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Quiet, Marge. The motorcycle and I are trying to sleep.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "He won't do his homework, he only salutes the flag with one finger and he comes home every night with other people's blood on his shirt.", "c": ["TV Mother"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Look what you've done to beautiful display! - Yeah, that's the life for me, Marge- cruisin' and hasslin' shopkeepers.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Nothing can defeat a motorcycle gang! A gang. That's the answer.", "c": ["TV Character", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "This gang's for rebels, Flanders, not 'conformos.' - Yeah! - Buzz off!", "c": ["Homer", "Gang Members"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Well, if I were a member, we could use my rumpus room as our lair. - That guy just don't get it, do he? - My rumpus room with the new bumper pool table? - Bumper pool? - I'm there.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer", "Gang Members"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "I move we reconsider our club name. Make it something a little less blasphemous. After all, we don't want to go to hell.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "How about the Devil's Pals? - No. You see- - Or the Christ Punchers? - The Christ- I don't think you understand my objection.", "c": ["Gang Member", "Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Whoa! 'Machine wash warm.' 'Tumble dry.' Ooh, la, la.", "c": ["Gang Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "'Hell's Satans,' huh? I'm watching you punks. - Can't hassle us, pig. We're goin' the speed limit. Oink, oink, oink.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "You can lock us away, but you'll never defeat the Cobras. - Cobras? I thought you were the Hell's Satans. - Uh- Oink, oink, oink!", "c": ["Homer", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "He's got a broom! - Let's get outta here! - Forget the pennies! Go! Go!", "c": ["Gang Members"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "You promised me no more brooms. - I know this is not your way. But we're in America now.", "c": ["Apu", "Manjula"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Her turn-ons include thievery and liquor. Her turnoffs include underpants, pedestrians and justice.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "You stole our club name. According to our bylaws, we gotta stomp you.", "c": ["Real Hell's Satans Leader"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Hey, hey! Chew with your mouth closed, please. - Sorry.", "c": ["Gang Member", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Now you gotta eat that too! - You got anything else with our logo on it? - Caps and Frisbees, sir. - You gotta eat them too! - And some pogs.", "c": ["Meathook", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Forget it, Simpson. Those pig noises you made really hurt my feelings. Lookin' like a pig as I do.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "But you have so much inner beauty. - Well, uh, be that as it may... uh, the gang is wanted in eight other states. And we have a little saying around here- 'Let Michigan handle it.'", "c": ["Homer", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "I'd kill for some waffles. - He has. Remember the IHOP in Oakland?", "c": ["Gang Member", "Another Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Marge, how did you get my jacket so clean? I've tried everything to get those blood and puke stains out. I've tried hitting 'em. I've tried yelling at 'em.", "c": ["Ramrod"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Hey! Hey! That's a leave-in conditioner! You're done. Next!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Dad, I'm tired of bathing in the yard. Plus, I think Rod and Todd are watching. - No, we're not!", "c": ["Bart", "Rod/Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Benjamin Franklin once said that house guests are like fish at- at- Huh? They're gone! Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Thanks for letting us crash in your pad. We had a very nice time. P.S. We've taken your old lady. - D'oh!", "c": ["Gang Note", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry. You're completely safe. None of us find you sexually attractive. - None of you? Really?", "c": ["Gang Leader", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "'Korean Love Brides'? - I just don't want to be alone!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "To the Bikers' Jamboree in South Dakota. You'll love it. Mickey Rourke's coming, and we're gonna jump him.", "c": ["Gang Leader"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Oh, man. To get all that, you'd have to kill, like, 50 people. - No. You don't have to kill anyone, not if you have jobs.", "c": ["Gang Member", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "No, I believe it's pronounced 'resume.' - Actually, both are acceptable.", "c": ["Gang Member", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Miss Simpson, I killed my pencil. - 'Broke.' You broke your pencil. - I broke him.", "c": ["Ramrod", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "No! My wife is not a doobie to be passed around! I took a sacred vow on my wedding day to bogart her forever!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Oh! I just swept the circle of death.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "You know what I'm gonna do after I kill ya? Take your wallet. - Never! It was a gift from Newsweek!", "c": ["Gang Leader", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "A woman like that only comes along every couple of miles.", "c": ["Gang Leader"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "Hey, can we at least keep her till the orgy in San Berdoo? - What do you say, honey? - No! - No dice!", "c": ["Gang Member", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "We'll stop at the nearest town and mail our 'resumes.' - 'Resumes.' It still sounds weird to me.", "c": ["Gang Members"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 8, "et": "Take My Wife Sleaze"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams] - Get me down!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "The ozone hole that devastated Brazil last summer is apparently wintering in Springfield. Whoo! Springfield rocks!", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Experts recommend a class nine or Robin Williams level of hair coverage", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Aw, the zoning disk is warped.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Look. You're Milhouse. Who wets their bed now, Milhouse?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "You want to dress up like ladies? Uh, wouldn't that make us kind of fruity?", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "What's the matter? Scared you might like it?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Oh, wow. This really hides my thighs. [Purrs]", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Sisters are doing it for themselves", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "What's going on? And I want a non gay explanation!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Uh, we're drunk. Really drunk. Oh, thank God!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Now, I'm afraid your son has cracked his coccyx. [All Laughing] Sorry.", "c": ["Doctor", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Now, son, this is a teaching hospital which is why I equipped the seat of your cast with a viewing window.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Oh, my. Oh, now that's something. He should exercise more.", "c": ["Medical Students"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Technically, yes, but the building costs would be astronomical.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Did I hear the word 'astronomical'? If so, my construction outfit, Valdazo Brothers Olive Oil, is poised to help.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "In order to avoid certain legal complications, the trucks are always rolling.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Good Lord. Do we really need all those ramps? Who's to say? Does a peacock need all those feathers?", "c": ["Skinner", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Look. You're getting a little philosophical for me. I suppose so. They say it happens in the autumn years.", "c": ["Skinner", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "When people ask if we're in compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1975, I can say, 'We are closer than ever before!'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Don't need it anymore. Doctor says my butt bone's stronger than ever. Ta-da!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Well, at least we're prepared for the new millennium.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "My God! The whole thing's made of breadsticks! And paint and shellac. It's all itemized in this bill.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "$200,000? Are you mad? I don't get mad. I get stabby.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "[All] Yea! Oh, you're cheering now. But someday you'll- Yea! I'm just gonna stop trying. Yea!", "c": ["Students", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Where are the refreshments? You keep asking me that, and I keep telling you over there.", "c": ["Crowd Member", "Organizer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "I've got a motor home I never use. Maybe we should raffle it off. Maybe you should shut up.", "c": ["Citizen", "Another Citizen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "We could try selling liquor. Uh, I'm doing great. Please, sir. Put some shoes on. What? You don't like my bags?", "c": ["Barney", "Moderator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "He releases the hounds on every charity that comes to his door. Feed the Children. Save the Whales. Even Release the Hounds.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Too bad I'm an idiot 'cause my school closed. Oh, well. No! That's the rat poison! And freeze.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "I can't take Mr. Burns to the 'hospital' 'cause I'm too dumb to read a map.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm Dr. Stupid. I'm going to take out your liver bones. Oops. You're dead.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Hmm. Lim\u00f3n. Fuerte. Lim\u00f3n. Fuerte. Lim\u00f3n- \u00a1Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay! \u00a1Mi est\u00f3mago!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Daytime TV is muy est\u00fapido.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Valencia? These are juice oranges.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "What are you passionate about, partner? Boogers. Boogers! That was great. You know, humor is a sign of intelligence.", "c": ["Jim Hope", "Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm here to make sure that you get a kick out of education. Hi-yah!", "c": ["Jim Hope"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Check it out. I'm breaking books at a sixth grade level.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "You know what our homework is? Find a toy and bring it to class. Boy, that sounds fun. I know. But I'm still not gonna do it.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "My busy box. It's got everything. Vroom, vroom, vroom! I'm calling Daddy. Good for you, not being bound by the recommended age.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Jim Hope"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Its eyes should be telescopes. No. Periscopes. No. Microscopes! Can you come back to me?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Now that's market research you can take to the bank- the money bank.", "c": ["Jim Hope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Fun? Ralph, there are no right or wrong answers but if you don't pipe down, I'm giving you an 'F.'", "c": ["Jim Hope", "Ralph"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Ha! The 'ironing' is delicious. The word is 'irony.' Huh?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Alls I know is I'm gettin' straight A's, and that ain't not bad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "I see you. Give me a hug.", "c": ["Funzo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Daddy, I'm ready to get out now. Over.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Is this gonna be like one of those horror movies where we open the door and everything's normal and we think you're crazy, but then there really is a killer robot and the next morning you find me impaled on a weather vane? Is that what this is, Lisa?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "To be fair, not all evil robots are killers.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Yeah, right, mop top. And I'm Ed Sullivan. 'Really big show.' No, no. I can do it better. 'Really big show. Really big.' That's it.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "So have a merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, 'kwazy' Kwanzaa, a tip-top Tet, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "If you don't have Funzo, you're nothin'.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "But if you're gonna throw a spaz, I'll come with.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "But the menu said 'galaxy of prawns.' Three prawns are hardly a galaxy. What do you mean your hands are tied? Let me talk to Mr. Quan.", "c": ["Gary Coleman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Yes, Mr. President. I can be in Washington right away.", "c": ["Gary Coleman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "What you talkin' about, Miss Nagel? That is so adorable. You're rehired. Sucker! I knew exactly what she was talkin' about.", "c": ["Gary Coleman"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Do you have any idea how much pressure we're under to come up with a new Furby or Tickle Me Elmo? And thanks to you, Funzo is the first doll designed by children for children, with all the profits going to children. Really? Yeah. Well, we're all somebody's children.", "c": ["Executive", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Thanks, Funzo. You rock. All righty. [Dance]", "c": ["Bart", "Funzo"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Yeah. Funzo makes playtime fun! You mean like Microsoft? Exactly.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "I have a flower for 'ou.", "c": ["Funzo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Wow. Only 22 seconds from muttering to door smash. That projects to a profit of... $370 million.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Now why would you wear cleats to a store?", "c": ["Trampled Person"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Now let's see. This'll make three Christmases I saved versus eight I ruined. Two were kind of a draw.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Writhing Funzos in my sack. Makes me happy. Makes me hurt my back.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "I'm very mad at 'ou. [Groans]", "c": ["Funzo"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Looks like the biggest rip-off since Webster.", "c": ["Gary Coleman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Well, isn't it possible for an evil company to make people happy? Are you saying the end justifies the means? That's a very glib interpretation.", "c": ["Gary Coleman", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "And so, Gary Coleman and the Simpsons argued long into the night. And then, as day broke, the spirit of the season entered their hearts.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Let's just agree that the commercialization of Christmas is, at best, a mixed blessing. Amen.", "c": ["Gary Coleman", "All"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Um, uh, Mr. Coleman, I've been thinking. Uh, my wife always makes too much stuffing and sweet 'potaters' and all. And- Oh, heck. Would you like to spend Christmas with us? No way. I'm having Christmas at George Clooney's house. All right. I'll come.", "c": ["Homer", "Gary Coleman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "As for old Mr. Burns, he was visited by three ghosts during the night and agreed to fund the school with some money he found in his tuxedo pants.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "Uh, listen. I kind of banged up that Jeep in the driveway. What you talkin' about, Moe? What you talkin' 'bout, everyone?", "c": ["Moe", "Gary Coleman", "Everyone"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 9, "et": "Grift Of The Magi"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Homer crashes into something]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "I like the ones where the mouse kills the cat", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Well, anyone would be nervous with all the economic turmoil you read about in the-", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Get her! She's doing something!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "It's the Goodwill truck! She cleaned out the attic!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Our junk! And the exits are sealed! Go to plan 'B'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "We came this close to losing our spare Christmas tree stand. You monster!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Look! Here's the box for my Pitch Back. If I still had it, I could put it in here!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "This flash cube has two flashes left", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "You bought them after the Nagano Olympics and never skied once", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Hey, let's go skiing right now!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Look, Dad. It's the drummer from Bread", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "See, Mom? You conquered your fears and now you're ready to- / I'm sorry!", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "The Widowmaker. No, that one's for the ladies. Spinebuster? Boring. Whoo! Colostomizer!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Hi-diddly-ho, schuss-in-boots!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Well, it allows for maximum mobility. Feels like I'm wearing nothin' at all", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Must wash eyes! Stupid sexy Flanders!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.62, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "This is the worst pain ever!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Single [chuckles]", "c": ["Ski patrol"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Leave those deer alone! But they were trying to eat me", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Can I go to the bathroom? Uh-uh! Say it in snowboard. Um, I gotta blast a dookie. Dook on!", "c": ["Bart", "Snowboard instructor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Is this seat taken? Uh, I think that's an armrest", "c": ["Disco Stu", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Sure, baby. Whatever your trip is. Disco Stu wants you to be comfortable while he does his thing", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Skiing fanny first into a crevasse isn't my idea of fun", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Oh, man. Another clock accident", "c": ["Ski patrol"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "I want my wife to get the best treatment money can buy. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't go nuts. Uh, better than that. Perfect", "c": ["Homer", "Paramedic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Otherwise, a hunk of bone could zoom right to her brain [chuckles]", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "I can't be in the hospital. Tomorrow is laundry day. And I've gotta de-meat Lisa's bologna", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "All the laundry and dirty dishes will be there when you get back", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Just make sure your father eats all his meals over a tarp. But not the good tarp. I want you to get married on that someday", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "You are wasting thousands of dollars worth of interferon. And you're 'interferon' with our good time [laughs]", "c": ["Doctor", "Hospital worker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.36, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Dad, where are your clothes? I don't know. Don't tell me Mom dresses you. I guess. Or one of her friends", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Come on, bikini inspector. Scrub toilet? Okay, that was a practice", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Lisa, I'll do the dishes when I pick it out of the chore hat and it's not a practice", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Oh! But Lenny just got some bottle rockets. You stay away from Lenny", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "That's not true. He left it on the bus. You're dead, squealer!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't want to be a bother. Wouldn't bother us. It just turns up your morphine", "c": ["Marge", "Nurse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "The cheese isn't quite melted. Let me just pop it back in the- [growls] Here you go", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Slivered almonds for the green beans. I'll be right back.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Bart, you were supposed to scour the pans. They need to soak. You said that four days ago. Look! They're rusted through. It's an illusion", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Astronaut bread? It's the bread of astronauts", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Maple soda? A cell phone full of candy? Astronaut bread? It's the bread of astronauts.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "I didn't know Aerosmith made a cereal. Dad, I gave you a list. Oh, yeah [laughs] You were way off", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Hello? Lollipop Island? There's a little girl here who had too many sour balls", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Marco. Polo. Marc- Ohh! [splash]", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Lucy McGillicuddy Ricardo Carmichael. And I think there's some more", "c": ["Lucy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "You mean like when you hid inside the conga drum to scare Ricky? Hey! Stay away from the drums! That's my bit", "c": ["Lisa", "Lucy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "My skin! My beautiful skin!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Welcome to Virtual Doctor. From the makers of Dragon Quest and Sim Sandwich", "c": ["Computer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Duh! We're pigs!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Leprosy! I can't believe it! That fortune cookie was right!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Why would God punish a kid? I mean, an American kid?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "At Sunday school, they said the lepers were cured by some bearded dude. Jesus? Yeah, that sounds right", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "But I know someone who's even holier than Jesus", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "You saw Ben-Hur without me? We were broken up then. Well, that's no-", "c": ["Ned", "Maude"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Brains. Brains. Use your brains to help us. Your delicious brains", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "No, no, no, no, no, no! I'm just thinking we could send you to a better place", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Code blue! A thousand c.c.'s of leg wax! Stat!", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "He told us he'd been going to the gym. [chuckles] Wow", "c": ["Lisa", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Because I couldn't take that. I- I just couldn't. I- [sobbing]", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Hansen's disease. You know, like that horrible cream soda", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Cost us a bundle too. I guess we'll have an imagination Christmas this year. Yea! Imagination Christmas!", "c": ["Ned", "Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "I got a pogo stick. I got a hula hoop", "c": ["Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "We'll take the cure, bag a few lobsters, then watch some gay guys get married", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Oh, you'll have a great view of the whole beach from the electric needle room. Really? The whole beach? Yes. From the electric needle room", "c": ["Hospital worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "I figured it out after I ate one of my chest sores", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "All we have to do is endure two hours of blinding pain. Then it's nothing but shopping and surfing", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Tonight we're gonna put our fake sores back on, then jump the fence at Club Med and scare the normals", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "Aloha- [electricity crackles] Aloha- Ow! Until we meet a- [screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 10, "et": "Little Big Mom"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Oh, Doctor, I'm crazy. [Sobbing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Bill. Bill. Ooh. 'Llib.' Wait a minute. Bill. Huh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Finally, a chance to relive my golden college years. -Dad, you only took one course.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Remember my love affair with Ali MacGraw? She used to call me 'Preppie.' Then she died.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I hate Springfield U so much. - You went to Springfield U. You hate A&M. - So much.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Let's matriculate. [Giggling]", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "You college boys are only interested in one thing.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Or a ski hat if you've got a picture of a girl.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Oh, my, yes. I'm on a secret project that I'm not at liberty to divulge. Cyborgs.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I invented a program that downloads porn off the Internet one million times faster.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Does anybody need that much porno? Oh. One million times.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Yeah. So because of me, all the dorms now have security phones.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "In home country, growing up in filth, Lubchenko dreams to play U.S.A. football.", "c": ["Anton Lubchenko"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Long story short. Go, Springfield U!", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Seal the exits.", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Get every dime. The Whifflesnops need new cummerbunds. #We look like slobs #", "c": ["Dean", "Whifflesnops"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I'm beginning to think this alumni party was just a ruse to get our money.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "That dean is gonna get an indignant e-mail. You should do it with bold red letters. My computer has 512 shades of red.", "c": ["Nerds"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Have you nerds forgotten everything I taught you? This calls for a prank. I see... a bucket.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I think I know that guy. He ran over the dean five years ago. Punch up that picture.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Good work. Now let's see who's having sex in the library. Aw, they scrambled it.", "c": ["Nerd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Oh, real original. Who did this? - Kappa Gamma Tau. - Last in grades, first in pranks.", "c": ["Dean", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Oh, that's it. You're through, Dean. Now who's the dean?", "c": ["Dean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I tried greasing the bucket with bacon fat, but your father kept eating it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Well, couldn't you try a nondelicious fat? [Sobbing] Oh, there's no such thing.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Beneath that bucket, he's more glue than man.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "These days the victims of comedy traumas, or 'traumadies'", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "What guys? I want to see the freaks. Okay, hang on, Homer. Two eye holes coming up. Easy. Easy. Too far.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "[Homer] That had nothing to do with the bucket.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Wow. He dances better than Jesus himself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I done 'spraint' my elbow bone... so it goes in the 'opposited' direction.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "He paralyzed his vocal cords cramming too many 'K' sounds into a punch line.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Have you gone completely fakakta? Hey, I got my comedy K's back. King Kong coldcocked Kato Kaelin.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Hey, you gentiles are all right. [Kisses]", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Brother, I sense you are feeling trapped and desperate. Yeah. And I got a bucket on my head.", "c": ["Brother Faith", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Son, lay hands upon your father's burdensome bucket. Now proclaim, 'I have the power.'", "c": ["Brother Faith", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I... have... the power. I have the power!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I see the light. It burns.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I believe I had hair. Oh, here they are. [Grunts]", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Really? Hmm. I would think he would want to limit my power.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I figure I'll go for the life of sin... followed by the presto-change-o deathbed repentance.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Wow. That's a good angle.", "c": ["Brother Faith"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Devil, be gone. Ow! My milk money. And my milk. Ew!", "c": ["Bart", "Ralph"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Number of miracles performed by Bart, two. Number performed by Lisa, zero.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Heat makes metal expand. Now who's talking mumbo jumbo?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Look at Moe dance. #Aloha, Moe #", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I got two words for this sermon. [Snores, Whistles]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "No, really. It can be a crazy party with clouds and lasers and miracles. And chili fries.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Can't make a float without flowers. Oh, true enough. But, uh, did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "[Chuckles] Yeah.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Satan, eat my shorts.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Perhaps it's time to fight razzle with dazzle.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Is he killing that guitar, Daddy? Yes, Son.", "c": ["Child", "Father"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Bury me at Make Out Creek. [Groans]", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Oh, Milhouse, this is my fault. I'm so sorry.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "And I tried to scratch and the fork got stuck in there. And I think there was some food on the fork.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Th-This is writing? I'm sorry, Uncle Kent. I lost my thesaurus.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Intern"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Oh, you're only calling us a cow college 'cause we were founded by a cow.", "c": ["A&M Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Well, I think the veal might have died of loneliness.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Oh, Land O'Lakes, take that ozone layer.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Whoa! Anna, get your radar gun, 'cause that tamale was one tall drink of water.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Oh, you just know what everyone should do, don't you, Marge?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "If they don't have tabbouleh, what's your second choice? They'll have tabbouleh.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "So I guess I'll have to see someone else about my crippling depression. Arr. Arr.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Wait! Wait! I got a float too. Listen up, 'cause I gotta explain a lot of it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Oh. Dad has the worst luck when he's drinking.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "But you can always fall back on your degree in... Communications? Oh, dear Lord. I know. Is phony major. [Sobbing] Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing.", "c": ["Doctor", "Lubchenko"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Oh, jumpin' crawdaddies! Is that Lubchenko coming back on the field?", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I did it! I did it! My leg, it broke off.", "c": ["Lubchenko"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I did it! I did it! My leg, it broke off.", "c": ["Lubchenko"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "You know, drink beer out of it and so on. But it'll turn up in the morning, and I'll sew it back on. Will that really work? Well, I assume so.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "I don't have any special powers. I am not a healer. Fine. More money for me.", "c": ["Bart", "Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 11, "et": "Faith Off"}, {"t": "Kent's desperate attempts to share spotlight: 'And I'm Kent Brockman!' [lone cough] 'With Britney Spears!' [loud applause]", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer: 'This is my year, Marge. Everyone knows I'm what makes this city great.' Marge: 'I don't know. There's a lot of buzz around Lenny.'", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Krusty wins award, turns to person next to him: 'Who are you?' 'Seat filler.' 'Aw!'", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer: 'Everyone gets an award but me. I can't help it if I donated the most blood. Ohh. I'm feeling kinda woozy.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Marge: 'You won a Grammy.' Homer: 'I mean an award that's worth winning!'", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Britney: 'in today's youth-obsessed culture we sometimes forget that older people are still alive.' Kent: 'I told ya!' Britney: 'Well, sorry!'", "c": ["Britney Spears", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "I told ya! Well, sorry!", "c": ["Britney Spears", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Britney: 'In the market crash of 1929 he helped people jump out of windows to avoid disgrace.' Cornelius: 'You're doing the right thing. Oh, oh! Out you go! My, you're a big one. No, no turning back now. Off a tall building- That's a great way to do it!'", "c": ["Britney Spears", "Cornelius Chapman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "You're doing the right thing. Oh, oh! Out you go! My, you're a big one. No, no turning back now. Off a tall building- That's a great way to do it!", "c": ["Cornelius Chapman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Cornelius dies during his introduction, Kent: 'Well, guess we should've expected that.'", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer sits down when asked for 100-year-olds after standing for everyone 60+", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer's acceptance: 'Don't give me that kiss of death, you black widow! Boy, he didn't want to let go of that!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "abra-cadaver!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer's speech: 'abra-cadaver!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer reads prepared speech about loving Springfield 'from cuddliest infant to the\u2014' then improvises: 'Puppies. Patriotism. Bluebirds. [raspberry] I'm not reading this drivel.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Marge: 'That's not an award. That's part of the set.' Homer: 'Nothing you can say will diminish this honor.'", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Burns: 'Who's that fellow who always screws up and creates havoc?' Smithers: 'Homer Simpson, sir?' Burns: 'Yes! The way I figure it, he's due for a good performance.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Who's that fellow who always screws up and creates havoc? Homer Simpson, sir? Yes! The way I figure it, he's due for a good performance.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Burns: 'if the house catches fire I want you to call this number.' Homer: 'The fire department.' Burns: 'Yes. They're new, but they're good.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer: 'Look at me! I'm a billionaire!' [Falls down stairs]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Marge: 'And the bed never needs to be made. Check it out.' [Makes bed automatically]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer demonstrates automatic dresser: gets violently dressed by machine, emerges disheveled: 'Now I'm ready to hit the town.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Lisa finds Burns' Nancy Drew collection: 'even the controversial Clue in the Clock. Tsk-tsk-tsk. So many swears.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Bart: 'I'm Al Unser Jr.!' Lisa: 'I'm Princess Margaret!' Bart: 'I'm drunk!'", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Burns filling out medical forms: Social Security number: 'Naught-naught-naught, naught-naught, naught-naught-naught-two.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Burns: 'Damn Roosevelt! Cause of parents' death: Got in my way.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.48, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Marge: 'This all seems a little elaborate for sloppy joes.' Homer: 'I know what the other 11 forks are for, but what do you do with this one?' Lisa: 'Why, Marge, I believe you're supposed to scratch your ass with it.'", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Marge: 'Cigars are for rich people and legendary comedians like Bill Crosby and David Letterson.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer: 'Jimmy is such an ugly word, Marge, unless you're talking about Jimmy Smits.' [lascivious purr]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer calling international numbers: 'Operator, get me Thailand. T-I- and so on.' Later: 'How's everything on your end? That's some language you got there. And you talk like that 24-7, huh?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer: 'We do have to have a party!' Marge: 'No parties!' Homer: 'What about par-tay?' Marge: 'No par-tays, no shindigs, no keggers, no hootenannies, no mixers, no raves, no box socials.'", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Doctor examining Burns: 'Well, isn't that odd? It's like poking through meringue.' Burns: 'Oh, try this arm. I saw some blood in there the other day.'", "c": ["Doctor", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Moe: 'How about Tuborg, the beer of Danish kings?' Homer: 'Mmm. Danish.'", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Lenny and Carl: 'We're just watching the sun move across the sky. When it gets to here, we can drink again.'", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Moe: 'Once you get 12 miles out, there's no laws at all. That's where they held the Tyson/Secretariat fight.' Homer: 'They were so drunk!'", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer steering boat: 'Turn! Left! Boat go there!' with passengers cheering chaotically", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Man on ship: 'They're rebroadcasting major league baseball with implied oral consent, not express written consent, or so the legend goes.'", "c": ["Unknown man"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "They're rebroadcasting major league baseball with implied oral consent... not express written consent, or so the legend goes.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Sea Captain: 'Arr, I now pronounce ya man and cow.' [Cow moos]", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Doctor: 'Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.' Burns: 'You mean, I have pneumonia?' 'Yes.' 'Juvenile diabetes?' 'Yes.' 'Hysterical pregnancy?' 'Uh, a little bit, yes.'", "c": ["Doctor", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Doctor's explanation with visual aids: 'Here is the door to your body. You see? And these are oversized novelty germs. That's influenza, that's bronchitis, and this cute little cuddle-bug is pancreatic cancer.'", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "this cute little cuddle-bug is pancreatic cancer", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Doctor demonstrates Three Stooges syndrome with germs: 'Move it, chowder head!' Burns: 'So what you're saying is I'm indestructible.' Doctor: 'Oh, no, no. In fact, even a slight breeze could\u2014' Burns: 'Indestructible.'", "c": ["Doctor", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "So what you're saying is I'm indestructible. Oh, no, no. In fact, even a slight breeze could- Indestructible.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer looking at land people: 'Look at those poor saps back on land with their laws and ethics. They'll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Coast Guard: 'Looks like another homosexual party boat. They always have such nice things. Perhaps we should pay them a visit. A deadly visit? Well, let's play it by ear.'", "c": ["Coast Guard officers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Pirates board boat. Homer: 'Are you friendly pirates?' Pirate: 'Uh, not really, no.'", "c": ["Homer", "Pirate"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Lenny getting robbed: 'Whoa! They're poking every nook and cranny- well, every cranny anyway. So far, the nook is relatively\u2014 Oh, no! No, it isn't!'", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer fighting pirates, gets rope burn: 'Oh! Oh! Charley horse! Charley horse! My mouth! I, eh\u2014 In the net, right?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Carl: 'Oh, we're gonna die, and I never tasted cantaloupe!' Homer: 'Eh, you didn't miss much. Honeydew is the money melon.'", "c": ["Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Pirate: 'And now we will cut you loose. For liability purposes, it is the ocean that will kill you, not us.'", "c": ["Pirate"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "For liability purposes, it is the ocean that will kill you, not us.", "c": ["Pirate"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer on floating in net: 'What about the people on the bottom?' 'They're the greatest heroes of all.' Guy at bottom: 'Hey! Something's clawing at my leg! Okay, it stopped.'", "c": ["Homer", "Unknown man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Burns: 'Echh! The foul stench of youth!'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Burns discovers damaged monkey: 'Furious George! What have they done to your beautiful face?' Smithers: 'This monkey is going to need most of your skin.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "Homer looking at Forbes list, sobbing: 'I can't even finish! I want to be rich! Like these guys!' Continues crying: 'Look at all these rich people here! Not as rich as they should be, of course, but still rich!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 12, "et": "The Mansion Family"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "I hate to be a killjoy, but do you really think we can win playing 'Stars and Stripes Forever'? It's so Beginner Band. And we're Advanced Beginner Band.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "You mean something... just arranged by Sousa? - No, something fresh and bold. - Well, darling, you have lost me.", "c": ["Band teacher", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Hey, Grandpa, the Civil War's over.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Hey, the blonde broad's got a point. We need something with a little ring-a-ding-ding. - Take your arm off me. - Ooh, this kitten's got claws.", "c": ["Unknown male character", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "I.D.? Man, Charlie didn't ask for I.D. when I fought at La Choy and Chun King. I saw my best friend's head explode at Margaret Cho.", "c": ["Vietnam veteran"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Homer, give him the 50 cents. - Why should I? Did my country give me a parade? - No, man. They spat at me and- Just go. - Thank you. This closes the saddest chapter in American history.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Vietnam veteran"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Folks, how often have you opened your morning paper only to have the rubber band fly off and hit you right in the eye? - Never. But it's my number-one concern.", "c": ["Salesman", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "A little late for Lenny.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "It's B.T.O. They're Canada's answer to E.L.P. Their big hit was 'T.C.B.' That's how we talked in the '70s. We didn't have a moment to spare.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "No talkin'! No new crap! 'Takin' Care of Business' now!", "c": ["Crowd member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "I stand by my disappointed groan.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Check out Lisa. She's a sax machine. Makes me think I should have done something with my life. Oh, well. [Slurps]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Makes me think I should have done something with my life. Oh. well. [Slurps]", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Beautiful. Just beautiful. This is what 'comptrolling' is all about.", "c": ["Unknown judge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Anybody got a building permit? 'Cause we nailed it.", "c": ["Band member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "That is the best version of 'Living in America' I've ever heard. - Third best for me.", "c": ["Judge", "Second judge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "'Stars and Stripes Forever.' Oh, man, they're toast.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Glow sticks? But visual aids are against the rules.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Well, it's not going to be easy to pick a winner. But I think one school red, white and blew us all away!", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "I hope you enjoy your plaque, cheater!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Well, I was going to give you the Good Sportsmanship Award but now I'm just going to be sick.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Look, Lisa! It glows! Whoo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "You mean state unfair. - Yeah, right. That's what I meant, Lisa. State unfair. - Zing!", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "See, Marge? I told you they could deep-fry my shirt. - I didn't say they couldn't. I said you shouldn't.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "See, Marge? I told you they could deep-fry my shirt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "I wish people would stop telling me to 'step right up.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "You gotta stop being so trusting, Chief. - I'd rather let a thousand guilty men go free than chase after them.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Good luck getting a horse to eat dog food.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Excuse me, but I believe this family already had a horse and the expense forced Homer to work at the Kwik-E-Mart with hilarious consequences. - Anybody care what this guy thinks? - [All] No!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Homer", "Family"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Well, except the mop. [Slurping, Crunching]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Marge, your pro-mop/anti-horse agenda has been clear for some time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Now let's look in the rule book and see if horses can play in the NFL. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Dear Mr. Rresident - What are you doing, Lisa? - I'm writing a letter to President Clinton about that travesty of a band contest.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "It's the only fire extinguisher endorsed by both Lynda Carter and George Foreman. - I wonder what would happen if they had a baby.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Son, I learned everything I needed to know from The Horse Whisperer. Step one: Seduce a lonely housewife.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "[Whispering] When the race starts, run really fast.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "You're... beau-ti-ful.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Just once I'd like to ride clockwise. - Really? I thought I was the only one.", "c": ["Jockey 1", "Jockey 2"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Hey, where do you get those metal dealies for his feet? - You mean horseshoes? - Hey, what's with the attitude? I just want some dealies.", "c": ["Homer", "Track worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "That horse better win or we're taking a trip to the glue factory. And he won't get to come. - Yeah, that's a great tour. But you can't see it all in one day.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "He hasn't even left the starting gate.", "c": ["Race announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "What's this? Number five. Duncan... the horse no one expected to do anything. isn't doing anything.", "c": ["Race Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "What a shame the race is already over.", "c": ["Race announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. You were number five? You! You stink! - Damn good.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "All those other horses will be shaking in their horse dealies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Ladies, say hello to Furious D! He's the bad boy of racing. He's got attitude and 'baditude', so show him some latitude, and you'll win his gratitude. Only in America!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Ew! You used my bracelet for a nose ring. - Possessions are fleeting.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "That's my third monocle this week. I simply must stop being so horrified.", "c": ["Rich man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Can't I just bet that all the horses will have a fun time? - Yeah, I think you want that line.", "c": ["Marge", "Betting clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Mom, I think you might be developing a gambling problem. - Hey, I'm watching you.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Mom, I think you might be developing a gambling problem. Hey, I'm watching you.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Ah, man! That horse don't take no guff from nobody. - Guff? - I mean sh-", "c": ["Unknown spectator", "Second spectator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Man, I got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky and the pope combined.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Why are you talking like that? - [High-pitched Voice] These are our real voices. [Normal Voice] We only talk like this on your surface world.", "c": ["Homer", "Jockey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "All a lie. What woman would marry us? We're freaks. - [All] Freaks. Freaks. Freaks.", "c": ["Jockey", "All jockeys"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "All a lie. What woman would marry us? We're freaks. [All] Freaks. Freaks. Freaks.", "c": ["Jockeys"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "We'll eat your brain. - My horse must lose.", "c": ["Jockeys", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Did that really happen, or was it just a wonderful dream? - No dream. Lose the race, fat boy.", "c": ["Homer", "Jockey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Well, it is a good life. Believe me. [Laughs]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Welcome to the Springfield Derby, the fifth and penultimate duel of racing's Triple Crown.", "c": ["Race announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Could it be? In a bizarre twist, a horse is abusing a jockey. Might this be the start of a terrifying planet of the horses?", "c": ["Race Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Might this be the start of a terrifying planet of the horses? In this announcer's opinion, almost certainly yes. And away I go.", "c": ["Race announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "I can't stress enough how easy it was to win this prestigious race. And furthermore- Hollywood is leading our kids down a moral sewer. Gotta go!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "I can't stress enough how easy it was to win this prestigious race. And furthermore- Hollywood is leading our kids down a moral sewer. Gotta go!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "We'll give you gold. - Son, go get me a trash bag.", "c": ["Jockey", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "We'll give you gold. Now that you're a champion. you have your pick of the fillies. [Shudders] Yeah. she's the best.", "c": ["Jockeys", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Ooh, can you imagine- her face on her body?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Yeah, hi. I'm here to see Lisa Simpson. - [Gasps] You read my letter?", "c": ["President Clinton", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "If things don't go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true. - That's a pretty lousy lesson. - Hey, I'm a pretty lousy president.", "c": ["President Clinton", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "That's a pretty lousy lesson. Hey. I'm a pretty lousy president.", "c": ["Lisa", "President Clinton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "Worst episode ever.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 13, "et": "Saddlesore Galactica"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams] - Homer's classic exclamation followed by screaming", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Aw, how come bears can crap in the woods and I can't?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Like a raisin covered in chocolate. Or a monkey in a cowboy suit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Show us your boobs. Show us your boobs. [Homer] You better do what he says, Marge.", "c": ["Parrot", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Why do jerks think everyone wants to see their stupid name?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "You're on fire! Yeah, I have won a lot of races.", "c": ["Lisa", "Clay Babcock"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, if you want to drive the 'traditional' way.", "c": ["Clay Babcock"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Hi-diddly-ho, pedal-to-the-metal-o-philes.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "I like the fresh air and looking at the poor people in the infield.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Now, honey, they's my parents too.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Abso-not-ly, hot Roddy.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Move your damn butt. Bite me.", "c": ["Race car drivers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Be patient, Son. A watched car never crashes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Oh, I missed one!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Hmm. A Ford urinating on a Chevrolet.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Don't you usually laugh at everything? Yes. Yes, I do.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Mommy has bosoms like that. Yeah, I wish.", "c": ["Child", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "I'll get some hot dogs. No foot-longs. I know. They make you uncomfortable.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Maude Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "That's a damn lie, and you know it! Gimme a shirt!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Ooh, a bobby pin!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "This is eating up a lot of time. Maybe just a pat on the butt. Yeah, that works.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Aye. Yarr. Oh, glavin! Why, glavin?", "c": ["Willie", "Sea Captain", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Yeah. Lots of storybooks have witches. Shut up, Kirk!", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten", "Luann Van Houten"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Finally.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "The boys at headquarters will not like it, but I'm getting pretty sick of them and their Bombay attitude!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Oh, I really mean it though. I mean, if it was you that died, I would've been on her so fast!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Send me to Maude. That's it. Here I come, baby. Oh, yeah!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Is it love? Kindness? Ooh, tough room.", "c": ["Rod Flanders", "Todd Flanders", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "No, you just winged him and made him a Unitarian.", "c": ["Rod Flanders"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "But the sprinkler is gone. It's time to let go. I just bought that.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "I can't believe my last words to Maude were, 'No foot-longs.'", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "I'm the one who parked in the ambulance zone, preventing any possible resuscitation.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Do you even have a job anymore? I think it's pretty obvious that I don't!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Dad, there are other wipes besides star wipes. / Why eat hamburger when you can have steak?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Why eat hamburger when you can have steak?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Why eat hamburger when you can have steak?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Single women of Springfield, your prayers have been 'Flanswered.'", "c": ["Homer (narrator)"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "So that's why you maced me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Oh, I would date Ned in a second if I was a woman or gay. He looks like a cuddler, that Ned. I-I like that. I like to be held. I like to be pampered.", "c": ["Homer on video"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "I like to be held. I like to be pampered.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "I'm just a 'Q' without a 'U'.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "John Wayne, Tupac Shakur, Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes is a character. He sure is.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Damn, I've just been indicted. Looks like we're gonna have to reschedule. How's your July? Mine's terrible. Let's talk in August.", "c": ["Dating video woman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "'Cause him's a commitment dog, isn't him?", "c": ["Dating video woman"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "I'm about as exciting as a baked potato. You're darn right you are! And you've got lots of other great qualities too!", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Well, I've had it!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "No, I'm not kiddin'! I am gonna sit right here and miss church. You just watch.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "Oh, my gosh. Some dropouts must have overpowered the reverend.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "This is a love song about a dude I met in a sleazy motel. - A dude named God. - Oh.", "c": ["Rachel Jordan", "Congregation"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "So? She's good-lookin'. Shut up. You shut up.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "So when your soul has gone astray / Just let God be your triple A / He'll tow you to salvation / And he'll overhaul your heart", "c": ["Rachel Jordan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "I toileth not on ye Sabbath, woman! A pox on thee!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "And I'm here every week, rain or shine.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 14, "et": "Alone Again Natura Diddily"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "You're watching PBS? - Hey, I'm as surprised as you...", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "It's about a hard-drinking yet loving family of soccer hooligans. If they're not having a go with a bird... they're having a row with a wanker. Cheeky.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Classic. Not hard to see why it's England's longest-running series.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "you're a thief- a common thief!", "c": ["Betty White"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Sorry, but these thieves make me so damn mad. You know who you are. Thieves!", "c": ["Betty White"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Or this umbrella, featuring a picture of our classic tote bag.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Why are you torturing me? I'm just a man!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Well, why didn't you say so? Yes, I'd like to pledge $10,000... to get them to shut up. From... anonymous. Done and done.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Aw, how they gonna find me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "But thanks to Insta-Trace... we've learned it's Homer Simpson of 742 Evergreen Terrace.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Why did I register with Insta-Trace?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "That's it, boy! Go get help. [Bart swings away]", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "They don't show police chases, do they?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "especially now, when the rich mosaic of cable programming... has made public television so very, very unnecessary.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Maybe your movie star banks are open crazy hours... but we in Springfield are simple folk. We like our cars fast and our banks closed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's a real ghost town in there. Get in there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "'You are on television. Please play along.' Are you robbing me?", "c": ["Bank Teller", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "I can't do it. I can't kill a man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "And you thought you could stab your problems away? Silly goose.", "c": ["PBS Representative"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "The hooligans! Bash his eyes out!", "c": ["Homer", "PBS Enforcers"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "It's a beautiful day to kick your ass!", "c": ["PBS Enforcer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Sanctuary! Sanctuary!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Oh, why did I teach him that word?", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Their bloodthirsty pursuit is made possible by a grant from the Chubb Group.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Give us the money! Elmo knows where you live.", "c": ["PBS Enforcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Give us the money! - Elmo knows where you live.", "c": ["PBS enforcers"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "The word is 'drive.' Sure, sure. Bob's your uncle.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Nothing to see here, people. Just headed down to the dump with these children's letters to God.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "I'm no missionary. I don't even believe in 'Jebus.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Oh, save me, Jebus!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Micro-Asia? That's 12,000 miles away.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "He's dead, isn't he?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Homer to Jebus. [Moans]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "First of all, forget everything you learned in missionary school. Done.", "c": ["Craig", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Me Homer. Me hiding from PBS.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "We cannot read.", "c": ["Native"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Does the word 'jet lag' mean anything to you people?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Hey, what happened to all the shirtless girls... you see in all the geographical magazines?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Craig and Amy gave us the gift of shame.", "c": ["Native"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "All the naked women are on that island. Yeah, anything goes over there. Bouncy, bouncy.", "c": ["Native", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Great. Now my testicle's got ants on it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "I'm gonna call you Lisa Jr.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Craig and Amy, Craig and Amy. Why don't you just marry Craig and Amy?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Oh, man, I need a beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! [Together] Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!", "c": ["Homer", "Natives"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "You've only been gone two days. Really? Without TV it's hard to know... when one day begins and the other ends.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "I just don't think it's funny.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Bart, you're the man of the house. Lisa, I'm promoting you to boy. Maggie's now the brainy girl. Toaster can fill in for Maggie. And, Marge, you're a consultant.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "I got some civilization to spread like butter... on the English muffin that is these people... with all their little nooks and crannies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Dad, are you licking toads? I'm not not licking toads.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Like this, from the book of... 'P-salms.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Well, not the Unitarians. If that's the one true faith, I'll eat my hat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Well, Ak, it's because God is powerful, but also insecure- like Barbra Streisand before James Brolin. Oh, he's been a rock.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Now, if The Flintstones has taught us anything... it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Come on, little friend. Make a wisecrack. You know- 'It's a living.' That sort of thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "In 10 short years you've caused 17 meltdowns. One is too many.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "You sold weapons-grade plutonium to the Iraqis- with no markup.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "And worst of all... you took the Hamburglar's birthday off last Monday and Wednesday.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "The magic medicine of... casino gambling!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Now over here I've brewed up my favorite beverage. Beer. It's mostly Dristan and holy water, but it does the job.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "And who knows? Maybe you'll hit the jackpot, get off this island... and spend the rest of your days in a tropical paradise.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "How can ace be one and 11? Huh? What kind of god would allow that?", "c": ["Native"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "I gave you a glittering Vegas and you turned it into a scanty Atlantic City.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "I don't even like macaroni salad... but look at me! [Chomping]", "c": ["Native"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Our island has not been this damaged since the A-bomb tests.", "c": ["Native"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "That's it, Bart. You're taking this 'man of the house' thing too far. You're right. I'm sorry. Tell you what. Saturday night, we'll go out for steaks- just you and me.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Since when? Since I got here. Now either grab a stone or go to hell.", "c": ["Native", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Well, I may not know much about God... but I have to say, we built a pretty nice cage for him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "And I'm in a gambling program. For real this time.", "c": ["Native"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Every Sunday for the rest of our lives. [Laughs] No, really.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "But God's palace is way up on the moon. So if you want him to hear us... we've gotta crank up the volume.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Homer's doin' your work! I'm the greatest missionary of all time!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "I'm the greatest missionary of all time!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Oh, that Homer- always getting into trouble. And if you're one of the millions who enjoys his adventures- or should I say misadventures-", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Sure, Fox makes a fortune from advertising... but it's still not enough. Not nearly enough!", "c": ["Betty White", "Announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "Hello! Murdoch here. $10,000! You've saved my network. Wouldn't be the first time.", "c": ["Rupert Murdoch"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 15, "et": "Missionary Impossible"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Fire! Fire! Fire! [Gasps] Oh, no! What do I save? [Screeches] Trophies, trophies. Oh- Ooh! Attendance.", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Good work, everyone. We're sure to be first in line for Duff Days.", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "[Chuckles] I know. I'm a character.", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Rockin' Fun Zone? That sounds fun.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "I don't see the need for razor wire.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Early to bed. [Hiccups] Early to rise. Ya think-Ya think you're better than me? Huh?", "c": ["Ben Franklin Animatronic"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Now, fresh from his appearance before the House Subcommittee on Teenage Alcoholism... Duff Man!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "And now, the local lug who fills your mug with the drug you chug- oh,yeah- give it up for Moe Szyslak.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "That spells 'Duff.' Go, Moe! Boo, everyone else.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Goat. Uh, close enough!", "c": ["Michael Finn", "Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "You can really taste the goat.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Moo? Lenny, you were supposed to be 'E.' See what happens when you skip rehearsal.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "You said if I slept with you, I wouldn't have to touch the drunk. Duff Man says a lot of things. Oh, yeah!", "c": ["Titania", "Duff Man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "That's a mug you don't wanna chug.", "c": ["Phil Angelides"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Knock it off, Larry. We can't put this face on our calendar.", "c": ["Phil Angelides"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "When I get home, there are gonna be a lot of open pickle jars.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Then I'd like a rattle and a 'wollypop.' Actually, I would like a 'wollypop.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Those balloons won't biodegrade for 10,000 years. If Bart gets a wollypop, I want a wollypop.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Hey, Moe, this license expired in 1973... and it's only good in Rhode Island, and it's signed by you. Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to get that updated... for this state and real.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Hey. 'Viva la'- 'Kiss Me'- What? Hey! Ah, for the love of Jeff.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Moe, it's all relative. Is Lenny really that dumb? Huh? Is Barney that drunk? [Moans] Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat? [Sighs] Oh, my God! It's worse than I thought!", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny", "Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Like, you ever been to White Castle? Oh, boy. Pigtown, U.S.A.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Come on. Look at me. I'm a gargoyle... what, with the cauliflower ear there and the lizard lips- Little rat eyes. Caveman brow. Don't forget that fish snout.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Or listen to. Or be with.", "c": ["Homer", "Carl"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "That's why they won't let Bill Maher on TV before midnight.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Maybe they could dynamite Mount Crapmore here and carve me a new kisser. But I'd look good on the outside, right? Yeah, but you'd feel bad inside. Plastic surgery it is!", "c": ["Moe", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "But I'd look good on the outside, right? Yeah, but you'd feel bad inside. Plastic surgery it is!", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "I wish I could be entertained by two cents worth of rubber shaped like some colorful animal... dancing and twirling, dancing and twirling.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "I hope they're hoverbikes. Oh, man, that would be so awesome!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "First, we must install buttocks. Nah, nah, nah, no luxury items. Just a face.", "c": ["Dr. Riviera", "Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Can the medical mumbo jumbo. Can you fix me or not? Well, we'll see. You know, most faces need a little remodeling... but this is a total teardown.", "c": ["Moe", "Dr. Riviera"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Oh, stop it. You're worse than Faye Dunaway.", "c": ["Dr. Riviera"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "I'm not riding a girl's bike.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "I'm not riding a girl's bike. Hey, it's getting away! Step on it. Hyah! Hyah! Stop kickin' me! Hyah!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Ooh, boy, what a mug! Yeah. You should see his genitals. Would you like to see them? I'm awake here.", "c": ["Dr. Riviera", "Nurse", "Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Yeah. You should see his genitals. Would you like to see them?", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. This isn't anesthetic. It's new car smell.", "c": ["Dr. Velimirovic"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "We need a symbol. Something that says we're gay and Republican. A little on the nose, don't you think?", "c": ["Gay Republicans"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "'A gay president in 2084'? We're realistic.", "c": ["Homer", "Gay Republican"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "What? I'm a monster, right? I knew it. I guess I'll just crawl back to live in a sewer... periodically emerging to sue you.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Oopsie. We got some leakage. Let me just cauterize that for you. [Searing] [Moe Moaning]", "c": ["Dr. Riviera", "Moe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I died on the operating table, didn't I? Yeah, but just for a minute. It's a funny story. I'll tell you sometime.", "c": ["Moe", "Dr. Riviera"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "A new life. A second chance... for revenge.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Hey, Duff Man, let's see how you like a sticker on your face! Yeah! Duff Man... can't breathe. Oh, no! Oh!", "c": ["Moe", "Duff Man"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Hey, Duff Man, let's see how you like a sticker on your face! Yeah! Duff Man... can't breathe. Oh, no! Oh!", "c": ["Moe", "Duff Man"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Well, I just wanted to show you the face that you could have been kissing. Yeah. Oh, I was just a stupid kid back then. And I feel terrible about hurting you. Will you accept my apology?", "c": ["Moe", "Former Crush"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Apology? Uh, geez. I wasn't expecting that. Uh- Run!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "I wanted Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island ugly... not Cornelius on the Planet of the Apes ugly. TV ugly, not ugly-ugly.", "c": ["Soap Producer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "I've been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly... but never ugly-ugly.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "I've been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly... but never ugly-ugly.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Remember me? Twenty-five years ago... you said I was too ugly to play Dr. Tad Winslow. I did? Well, that's why pencils have erasers, hon. You're our new Dr. Tad Winslow.", "c": ["Moe", "Soap Producer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "But there can't be two Dr. Tad Winslows! That's going to- Oh. [Moans]", "c": ["Former Dr. Tad Winslow"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "I don't know if I'll be able to accept Moe as Dr. Tad Winslow. Well, I'm gonna keep watching... as long as they have shocking story twists and endless pillow talk.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "But I love you, Tad, and together we can burn all the cities of the Earth. It's against hospital regulations, damn it!", "c": ["Cleo/Mummy", "Moe as Dr. Tad"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Eh, it's over. She got a window shade.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Eh, it's over. She got a window shade.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Hmm. This isn't nearly as complicated as Moe made it seem. [Screaming] [Gurgling]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "But the one hole I've never been able to fix is the one in my soul!", "c": ["Moe as Dr. Tad"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Hey, I got a gift. As a child, I was bitten by the acting bug. Then it burrowed under my skin and laid eggs in my heart. Now those eggs are hatching, and the feeling is indescribable.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "I know what you mean. Our dog had that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "'Interior: Coroner's office. Close-up on Dr. Winslow's mangled corpse. Coroner: Let's get that brain out and weigh it and call it a day.' Yep, that does sound kind of bad.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Well, if they're gonna stomp on my dreams... the least I can do is go out in a blaze of sour grapes.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Gabriella's baby shower will be invaded by terrorists... with sexy results. Well, Sister Bernadette will leave the convent and start a softball team... with sexy results.", "c": ["Homer as Angel"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Gabriella's baby shower will be invaded by terrorists... with sexy results.", "c": ["Homer as angel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "You idiot. Dr. Winslow was only going to die in a dream. Pink pages always mean a dream. I thought dreams was on goldenrod. No, goldenrod is for coma fantasies.", "c": ["Producer", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "You idiot. Dr. Winslow was only going to die in a dream. Pink pages always mean a dream. I thought dreams was on goldenrod. No, goldenrod is for coma fantasies.", "c": ["Soap Producer", "Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "Nah, it's just as well. That handsome face was nice, but it was too much maintenance. I had to wash it, rub it with neat's-foot oil.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "And to think... I was about to sell the bar to Hooters. Yeah, you were- D'oh!", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? Shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Don't make no-", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 16, "et": "Pygmoelian"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Let's see. Judging from the bug buildup, we're gettin' close.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "The bugs are firmly in charge. They've taken the Visitors Center! They-They ate the comment book!", "c": ["Park Ranger"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Hey! Hey! My class ring!", "c": ["Park Ranger"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Hey! An Indian casino! God bless Native America!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Well, what better place to celebrate your recovery than amidst the frenzied excitement of the casino floor?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Although they seem strange to us, we must respect the ways of the Indian.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Hi, how are ya? Hi, how are ya? Hi, how are ya? Hi, how are ya?", "c": ["Casino Greeter"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "The Great Gabbo demands a free night in the presidential suite while performing. We'll give you a free pass to the pasta bar. The Great Gabbo accepts your terms.", "c": ["Ventriloquist", "Casino Manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Gabbo! You've become a real boy! All right! Time for some underage gambling. So long, sucker!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Your linen service has broken many promises to us. Laundry bill soar like eagle. Jerk.", "c": ["Casino Chief"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "I wasn't gonna gamble. I just wanted a Bloody Mary.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Your father just took out a second mortgage downstairs. You're listed as collateral.", "c": ["Casino Chief"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "That's Crazy Talk. No, it's true. No, I know. That's my brother. Crazy Talk. We're all a little worried about him.", "c": ["Casino Chief", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Oh, way to make a guitar, Sears.", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "I'm sick of having to dry myself with a newspaper!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "You mean the spider bite at Disneyland? Or the incident with the over salted fries.", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "But I can only pay you in popcorn shrimp. Smell ya later!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "I can't believe 'Smell ya later' replaced 'Good-bye.' Smell ya later! Smell ya later.", "c": ["Future Bart", "Ralph"], "jt": ["observational", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Should we take the hover bus or the non-hover bus? Non-hover.", "c": ["Future Bart", "Ralph"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Bleh! This virtual fudge tastes like crap. Mmm. Not half as good as cyber-fudge.", "c": ["Future Homer", "Future Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Oh, what a bleak, horrible future we live in! Don't you mean 'present'? Right, right. Present.", "c": ["Future Homer", "Future Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Isn't that made of people? Oh, here we go.", "c": ["Future Bart", "Future Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "She's president of the United States! President 'elect.' I could've been president, but I'm too real.", "c": ["Future Homer", "Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "People can't deal with what I'm laying down. They're just, like, 'Whoa, dude. You can't say that.' And I'm, like, 'Watch me.'", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "You should've thought of that before you dropped out of the DeVry Institute.", "c": ["Future Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "What happened to you, man? You used to be cool. I'm still cool! Nah. You've changed, man. Well, I do have this robotic prostate. But you can't see it. Oh, you can.", "c": ["Future Bart", "Future Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Jesus, is that you?", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Oh, it was great at first. But, you know, at the 10-year mark, your eyes fall out.", "c": ["Future Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "But only because you haven't outed Rod and Todd.", "c": ["Future Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Now we'd like to play a Jimmy Buffett song but he uncooly charges people to cover them. So here's a Captain Bart original. 'Wasted once more in Daiquiritaville'", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "We need more power! The shield won't hold much longer!", "c": ["Future Ralph"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I've got half a beer in there, and Bewitched is on.", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Damn! I was so close! I had 327!", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "So I'm the president's no-good brother. Moochie-moochie.", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Yes, I am proud to be America's first straight female president.", "c": ["Future Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "As you know, we've inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump.", "c": ["Future Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "The Balanced Breakfast Program just created a generation of ultra-strong super criminals. And Midnight Basketball taught them to function without sleep.", "c": ["Secretary Van Houten"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "And Midnight Basketball taught them to function without sleep.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "I knew you'd need some help keeping it real so I figured I could be like your co-president.", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Mom, Lisa won't share! Be nice to your brother, Lisa.", "c": ["Future Bart", "Future Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Aw, just like her mommy, Maggie Senior.", "c": ["Future Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Dad, that's just a myth. Lincoln didn't hide any gold in the White House. Then what is his ghost protecting?", "c": ["Future Lisa", "Future Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "I fell out two times.", "c": ["Future Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Yeah. But they said I wouldn't get my first check for two weeks. Meanwhile, they're making major interest on my salary.", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "I started what from a what? Your plan makes no sense.", "c": ["Future Homer", "Future Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Gold bars discovered by Marge? Zero! Gold bars discovered by Homer? Well, let's just see.", "c": ["Future Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "We could call it 'a temporary refund adjustment.' I love it. Really? What else do you love, Lisa? Fiscal solvency.", "c": ["Secretary Van Houten", "Future Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "I want you to play my demo tape in the background while you're yakkin' about whatever.", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Refund? Hey, sounds good to me. Sure beats a tax. We love you, President Simpson!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "but it is only through arduousity that- If you like refund adjustments and the music I play", "c": ["Future Lisa", "Future Bart (singing)"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Tax hike! Hold the phone, Mabel! I never trusted her. Don't blame me, I voted for Chastity Bono!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "We don't own the shores of Tripoli. Shh! By the time they find out, we'll have taken our cyanide pills.", "c": ["Future Lisa", "Secretary Van Houten"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Come on. Every president gets three secret murders. If you don't use them by the end of the term, phht! They're gone.", "c": ["Secret Service Agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Of what? The United States of Dorksylvania? Don't leave me hanging, Greenspan!", "c": ["Future Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "They couldn't keep pants on Kissinger.", "c": ["Future Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "What's the difference between Pakistan and a pancake? I don't know any pancakes that were nuked by India! What? Too soon?", "c": ["Future Ralph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Damn straight. And I'm here to tell ya you've been sent on a wild goose chase. When my brother Jimmy was making peace in the Middle East, he sent me to Belly Flop Academy.", "c": ["Billy Carter's Ghost"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "There's an embarrassment of riches at the Caesar's Pow-Wow Indian Casino! Yeah, Crazy Talk came up with that. He got idea from Dances with Focus Groups.", "c": ["Billy Carter's Ghost", "Casino Chief"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "My gold is in the heart of every freedom-loving American. It's in our mighty rivers, our majestic- Aw, crap! That lying, rail-splitting, theater-going freak!", "c": ["Future Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Guys, the thing is, we totally have the money, and we tried to wire it to you. But you know how banks screw up. We tried to call you all day Saturday. We were there Saturday. Dude, I know, I left a message with some guy named Hans.", "c": ["Future Bart", "Foreign Creditors"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "I left a message with some guy named Hans. / Hans? / He might've been a temp. Very surly.", "c": ["Bart", "German representative"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "What happened to you, China? You used to be cool. Hey, China is still cool. You pay later! Later!", "c": ["Future Bart", "Chinese Representative"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Legalize it. Legalize what? Oh! Oh. Consider it done.", "c": ["Future Bart", "Future Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Hey, this is expired!", "c": ["Young Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Dad pushed a waitress, and Mom lost $20,000.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "What about me? Eh, some government job.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Moochie-moochie!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 17, "et": "Bart To The Future"}, {"t": "Ah, trash night. In France they call it 'la nuit de poubelle.' In Germany it's 'crappenfest.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "I can't believe it only comes 52 times a year.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "And remember, the best stuff is usually deep in the garbage juice.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Lookee here! Cardy-board tubes! Now we can have indoor plumbin', just like they's got at the women's lockup.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "They spoilt you, Brandine. Sometimes I don't even know who you are anymore.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Look like Milhouse's mom finally threw out his blankie. He'll pay a lot to get this back. Especially when we send it to him piece by piece.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Kearney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "It seems I will never sell these She-Hulk vs. Leon Spinks comics. Worst crossover ever.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Well, this muscle shirt's a pretty good find. / Dad, that's a sports bra. / All I know is I'm finally getting the support I need.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Hey, Vinnie. How's about a pizza? / I got-a no job.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Get out of my dreams and into my car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "I don't remember the air in the kitchen being so wavy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Behold! I am King Talkie Tiki! / Hey, Flanders. Can your god do that?", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "A-Actually, Homer, you and I worship the same god, so- / Irregardless! I am your god now.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "I am all power- [Screams] I'll be at Moe's.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "So I says to the cop, 'No... you're driving under the influence of bein' a jerk!'", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Hey, Barney, what's with the glum face? You glum or somethin'? Huh, glummy?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "You know, it was my birthday last week and no one remembered. / What are you, nuts? / I threw you a party at my house.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Oh, that's it, baby. All for Moe. Oh, yeah, work the slot. Show me the package. Whoa. That's-That's a project I'm workin' on.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "I'm just sayin' that when we die... there's gonna be a planet for the French, a planet for the Chinese... and we'll all be a lot happier.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Gee. Is that what I look like when I'm drunk? / You wish. That's the stage we call 'Professor Barney.'", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Well, I'm off to market. [High-pitched voice and burp]", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Marge, you're making a complete fool of yours- Oh, it's just Barney.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Precious alcohol, soaking in the shag! [gulping and growling sounds]", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Oh. How embarrassing. / Well, how did this happen? / Oh, that. You've had that for a while.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "I still got mine. Barney, I got you what no drunk can do without- morning-after stationery.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Can you imagine this booze-bag at the wheel of a whirlybird? He'd be all, 'Look at me! I'm a tanked-up loser in a helicopter!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "So, I'm a tanked-up loser? Is that how you see me? / Oh, sounds like a certain loser could use some tankin' up.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, Barney. You gotta be sober to fly. I mean, it's not like driving a car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Wait. That ain't funny. He's my best customer. Well, the handwriting's on the wall. To stay afloat, this bar is gonna have to go queer.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "You mean it's not? Oh. Wrong again, Gay Guide to Springfield.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "All right, world. Get ready to meet the clean and sober Barney Gumble. [immediately] Whee! Give me a beer.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Santeria, you're the greatest.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "I feel for you, pally, but, uh, you want A.A. This is Triple 'A.'", "c": ["AAA Employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "My name is Homer, and I'm planning a trip to Saint Louis. / East Saint Louis? / Is there any other Saint Louis?", "c": ["Homer", "AAA Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "I see you finally hit rock bottom. / Not a chance. I can sink way lower.", "c": ["AA Leader", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "And that's when you realized you were an alcoholic? / Oh, no, I never touch the stuff. But you don't have to be drunk to know the value of Amway.", "c": ["AA Leader", "Gil"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Anything that takes 12 steps isn't worth doin'. Get it? Huh? Twelve? Steps?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Sorry, pal, but it takes a special kind of man to pilot these birds. / I got a coupon. / Okay, get in.", "c": ["Helicopter Instructor", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "You know who else I like is that, uh, Leo Sayer.", "c": ["Helicopter Instructor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "One sec. Testing, black box. One, two. [Screaming]", "c": ["Helicopter Instructor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "It's okay. That's what the diapers are for.", "c": ["Helicopter Instructor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Is that Rainier Wolfcastle? / Check out the gut. / It's for a movie. I'm playing a fat secret agent.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Rainier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Are you trying to make me the new Barney? / Hey, every bar needs a world-class drunk.", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny/Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Now dance, rummy. / O-Okay. [humming and dancing]", "c": ["Lenny/Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "You danced for hours just because they told you to? / If I didn't, I'd lose their respect.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "He hangs newspapers over the urinals now. You can read the sports page while you pee. Very la-di-da.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Remember the day we jumped that census guy and stole his clicker? Those are all priceless memories, Homer...", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Cheer up, Homie. You don't need friends to be happy. I haven't had a friend in years. / But you got me. Who have I got?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Oh, Lenny and Carl suck! Please don't tell Lenny and Carl I said that, 'cause if I ever lost 'em as friends-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Old friends stick together, like O.J. and A.C., or the Falcon and the Snowman.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Oh, why can't I have a nickname?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Hey, Apu, you got any of those potato chips that give you diarrhea? I need to do a little spring cleaning.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Beer, huh? / That's right. / Enjoy. / That I will. / Then we agree. / You keep thinking that.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Crescent moon! Crescent moon!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "To me, you're true-blue. / Aw, thanks, big guy. / Now dance, rummy. / Okay.", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny/Carl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Moe, I've come here to make amends for my disgraceful behavior over the last 20 years. / Oh, that's okay, Barn. / No, it's not okay.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "I broke barstools, befouled your broom closet... and made sweet love to your pool table, which I then befouled.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Well, I play Jerry 'Fireball' Mudflap... a feisty Supreme Court justice, who's searching for his birth mother... while competing in a cross-country fire truck race. It's garbage.", "c": ["Burt Reynolds"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Barney, the call is from heroism. Will you accept the charges?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "You can't drink 'em all. / Oh, yes, I can. / I'll- [Homer drinks them] Ew, it's warm.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "I love you. Let's not lose touch after graduation. [snoring]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "You brave man. You took six silver bullets for me. Stay away from my wife.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "You did it, Dad! / You can't prove I did it. / No! You saved our lives.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "You did it, Dad! / You can't prove I did it. / No! You saved our lives. / I could do a lot of things if I had some money.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Isn't it adorable? I guess some baby pictures were on that old roll of film. / Oh, we'll be the laughingstock of the whole town.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "Actually, I took the picture, so I gave my prize to the orphanage. / What? / How could you? / Just kidding. I would never do that.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "So what do you call this stuff? / A double tall mocha latte. / It's not bad. Well, it ain't beer.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "But at least I got that monkey off my back. [gulping sounds] Oh. [more gulping] Oh. / Ha, ha. Nobody gets away from Moe. Nobody.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 18, "et": "Days Of Wine And Dohses"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams] - [All] Ow! Ow! Ow! - Ow! Ow! Hmm!", "c": ["Homer", "Simpson family"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Here's the mail, Dad. That'll be three dollars for on-couch delivery.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "This isn't real money. It's printed by the Montana Militia. It'll be real soon enough.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "I'm betting it's hunger and rage. Yeah, but at what ratio?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "My way is easier.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Ooh, quizmaster, yes. That would entertain me briefly.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "That makes you a... Frigid Frieda. I took off 30 points for all that crying you did.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "No way! When? Six months ago. You were at the funeral. You fell into the grave.", "c": ["Homer", "Flanders"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. I saw a gopher. What a day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Oh, the little rat-faced one. No, no, no. Nick. He's so good to his mother.", "c": ["Grampa", "Jasper"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "According to this, you're both idiots. Hey, thanks. What do we owe you?", "c": ["Homer", "Grampa", "Jasper"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Homie, for God sakes, it's 2:00 a.m. Fine. I'll take the next quiz.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Marge, do you think that counts honey-braised? I don't know! I'm trying to sleep!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "So according to this, I'll live to be- 42?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "I won't even live to see my children die.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "See? And these quizzes are never wrong, Marge. They're put together by the finest scientists in the magazine business.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Can't sleep. Gonna die. Can't sleep. Gonna die.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "I'm gonna kill you, Homer. You are so dead.", "c": ["Robert Evans"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Evans, you forgot Hollywood rule number one- kill Homer Simpson.", "c": ["Robert Evans"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "I'm not crazy. It's the TV that's crazy! Aren't you, TV?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "So tell me, are all you government inspectors so handsome and strapping?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "You got to hide me. Death is after me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "He's just a harmless maniac... here to remind us of the precious gift of sanity.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "That's it. That's it. A mother can't die. And I'm a mother. See?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Sometimes. But the guy I really hate is your father.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Because it's made of plastic. I see.", "c": ["Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Florida? But that's America's wang.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "My pockets hurt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Oh, no! We came during spring break!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Take 'em off the glass! Take 'em off the glass!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Party! Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Jealous of your boobs", "c": ["Unknown spring breaker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "No! Not yet! I'm only 25!", "c": ["VJ Sepulveda"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Oh, no! It's a lost child! Don't worry, folks. I'll tackle him.", "c": ["Security/adult"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Do you have any hobo chunks we can throw to him?", "c": ["Tourist"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Oh, he can crawl up through my toilet any day.", "c": ["Female tourist"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "But this ain't no 40-ounce curb. So we're gonna need 40 gallons, y'all!", "c": ["Kid Rock"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "All for Homer. Hey, who's that fool? Yo, let's waste that beeyotch!", "c": ["Crowd", "Kid Rock crew"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "No, sir. Please don't tell Mama.", "c": ["Joe C"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Guess how many boobs I saw today, Marge? Fifteen!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Doesn't he talk funny?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Dad, look out! - Look out for what - The giant gator - The giant- [Gasps, Screams]", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "You killed Captain Jack. You in a heap of trouble, son.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Did you really have to handcuff the children? No, ma'am, I did not.", "c": ["Marge", "Sheriff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "You see, during spring break, the beer companies pay me to look the other way. The rest of the year, I'm a real hard-ass.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Whoa! Looks like we got a teeny Houdini here. Well, don't you worry, darlin'. I got some baby cuffs in the station.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "It worked! It's a miracle!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Now why does that only happen when nobody's looking?", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "There's lots of good places! What about over there? No shade!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Homer, no. You'll kill us all. Or die trying.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "The only thing we can do. Sit tight and try to get some sleep.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "He said there's a procedure for dealing with events of this nature.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Oh! Okay. Now am I the only one on fire?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "I love being married.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "I just want to be a broom boy so bad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "I like your attitude. You're hired. How about you, missy? Do you want to be a mop girl? Not really, no. I like your honesty. You're hired.", "c": ["Diner owner", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "And you two haven't said a word. I like that. You're hired.", "c": ["Diner owner"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "But I raised eight young-uns, three chilluns and a baby here.", "c": ["Diner owner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "You're insincere. I like that.", "c": ["Diner owner"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not one to judge. The way I see it, we're all sinners.", "c": ["Velma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Stop that! Scat! Go on now! Just quit.", "c": ["Velma"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Teacher says I'm whittling at a 1 0th grade level.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Someday, when Lisa and Bart get married, it'll all be theirs. Yuck! You mean when they marry other people. Okay, but I ain't payin' for two weddin's.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Hey, you're stealing my trailer! I like that.", "c": ["Velma"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Drunken hicks of the jury-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "You know, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "No listenin'. You hear me? Uh, no.", "c": ["Guard", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "What am I supposed to do?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Restock the possum bar. We're almost out of claws.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Restock the possum bar. We're almost out of claws.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Nah. Not on a civil servant's salary. It's near-sucker.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "You should see it in August after the horseflies been getting at it. Hoo-man!", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "I might could switch you to dead animal pick up.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "Well, we're still welcome in North Dakota and Arizona. Arizona smells funny.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "I've always wanted to see Mount Rushmore. That's South Dakota.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 19, "et": "Kill The Alligator And Run"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Homer, sitting that close to the TV can't be good for you. / Talking while the TV's on can't be good for you.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Nah. I wanna enjoy this show before the network retools it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "How can I organize this modeling agency... and still be a good single father? - I love you, Daddy. - [Audience] Aww! [Groans] Too late!", "c": ["TV Show Characters", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Just get me a deck of cards and I'll win whatever I need from the other kids. / But you need to try things on. Every brand has a different idea of 'husky.'", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "[Grunts] I'm in tantrum position. T-minus 5, 4, 3- Remembering dead cat for real tears, and-", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Tantrum averted. But now I can't forget the cat. [Weeping]", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Now read the first line. / I... ate... pee-pee. [Laughing]", "c": ["Eye Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "That pair's popular with celebrities like Val Kilmer. / Ooh! My favorite Door. / And Yoko Ono. / Ew! She ruined the Plastic Ono Band.", "c": ["Optometrist", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Less yappin', more zappin'.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Blair Witch repellent, antler saw and deep-woods Scrabble", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Wait. You gotta use these drops. They prevent your eyes from crusting over. / Oh, here we go with the add-ons. No, thanks.", "c": ["Eye Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Oh, he'll never dance with her. She'll have to settle for some Mexican Milhouse.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "My name is... Lisabella. / [Gasps] That's my name with 'bella' on the end of it.", "c": ["Movie Character", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Qu\u00e9 malo. Once again, I must sugar my own churro.", "c": ["Movie Character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Only one man was crazy enough to dance that dance, and he is dead. / My twin brother, Freduardo. / But where he died, I shall live- in his apartment.", "c": ["Movie Character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "You are now carrying my child. / But how? / It is the mystery of the dance.", "c": ["Movie Characters"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "[Imitating Marge] Now, Homie, when we get to the liquor store... buy me some Jack Daniels and a carton of smokes. / Yes, dear. [Both Snickering]", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Well, I think World War II helped a little, Mom. / Don't smart-mouth, Lisa.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "I'm just plain Vicki now. / All right. I'd like to sign my daughter up for lessons, Vicki. / Little Vicki. / But you just said- / So what dance style were you interested in?", "c": ["Little Vicki", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "[Cracks] Ow! You stepped on my toes again! / If you would just let me lead- / You're not a leader, Seymour. Never have been, never will be. / Oh!", "c": ["Ballroom Dancers", "Seymour"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "[Rhythmically] Oh, the birdie in the cage out, lady in the center. Now the birdie is purty and the crows hop in. Put the feather all together, hell-bent for leather. Put your honey in the saddle-", "c": ["Square Dancer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Little advice, don't live through your child. / Okay.", "c": ["Little Vicki", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "This is gonna be the best week of our young lives. / I'm gonna pound you two all week. / Oh. What'd we do? / Nothin'. But I gotta pound somebody.", "c": ["Bart", "Bully", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "I don't wanna go home. My grandma's sleeping in my bed, and she has skin like a basketball.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's just like my dad always says: For an evening or a week, there's no place like the mall. Food, fun and fashion- the mall has it all. / What? What did he say?", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Teacher, my shoes are making noise. / You must be Ralph. / My daddy shoots people. [Grunts]", "c": ["Ralph", "Little Vicki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Somebody's off the beat. Let me hear you two. [tapping] Okay, now you. [Lisa taps badly] Whoa. [Shouts] / [All Laughing] / Children, stop it. / For all you know, she has a medical condition. / Nope. / I see. [Groans]", "c": ["Little Vicki", "Lisa", "Class"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Where are we goin'? / Quiet. Just keep scurrying. [Screaming, Grunting] / Worms! / Gold! / Wait, this is just chocolate. Chocolate! / And these are gummy worms. Gummy! / Warheads. Jelly Bellies. We're like two kids in a candy store. / [Together] Yes!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Whoa! We're lumberjacks!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "There's candy chewed, wigs pulled from stands... cheese packages poked and repoked. / Every sign points to one obvious culprit- a giant rat.", "c": ["Health Inspector"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Well, you're falling a lot. Maybe you should work on that.", "c": ["Little Vicki"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Why, back when I was your age, I had 43 movies under my belt... and I had to do it without tappa-tappa-tappa. I would have killed for tappa-tappa-tappa.", "c": ["Little Vicki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Well, you'll never save Grandpa's farm with that attitude. / You've just got to turn that frown upside down. / That's a smile, not an upside-down frown. / Work on that too.", "c": ["Little Vicki", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Why does it have a picture of Vitamin Barn? / Didn't you ever go to camp? / The old Vitamin Barn.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Look at you, all sugar and spice instead of equations and test tubes. / You're Daddy's precious dancing queen.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "My kitty cat's sick... and I'd be ever so sad if she should die. [Coughing] / Well, I'm no animal doctor or nothin'... but whenever I'm feelin' poorly, you know what fixes me up? / Dancin'? / Dancin'.", "c": ["Little Vicki", "Carl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "[Sighs] The cat dances better than I do.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Gosh, that cheese looks good. Think I could grab it before that anvil hits? / I don't know, Chief. It's a million to one. / I like those odds.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "My mistake was grabbing the cheese. [Coughs]", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Professor Frink, will that spaceship be ready for the recital? / I have visited the future, and yes, it will. [Gibberish]", "c": ["Little Vicki", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Why isn't my name in the program? / It is, silly. You've got the most important part of all. / 'Curtain puller'? / No one can see the show if the curtain isn't open.", "c": ["Lisa", "Little Vicki"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Lisa, but giving everyone an equal part... when they're clearly not equal is called what again, class? / Communism! / That's right.", "c": ["Little Vicki", "Class"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "And I didn't tap all those Morse code messages to the Allies... till my shoes filled with blood... just to roll out the welcome mat for the Reds.", "c": ["Little Vicki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "'Scuse me, Lisa, but I couldn't help but overhear your nerdly predicament. / Maybe I can be of assistance with the dancing and the twisting... and the kung fu fighting. [Gibberish]", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "It's most entertaining, but how does that help me? / Observe. [Muttering] / Ooh! That's brilliant, Professor. What will you think of next? / Well, I also found this at the gift shop. Isn't it cute? / I'm hoping to turn it into a weapon. [Cackling Gibberish] It'll kill ya.", "c": ["Lisa", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Are you saying he's right on the other side of that plant? [Whining] / [Snarls] / Okay. Run!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Bart, you're a genius. [Screams]", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Well, well. Looks like the cat got the rat. / And that's the end of that tale.", "c": ["Mall Security"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Now this may hurt a lot. What am I saying, 'may'? [Both Gasp] / Ow! / Now that's a happy face.", "c": ["Little Vicki", "Students"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, Lisa. People go to a children's dance recital expecting a certain level of professionalism.", "c": ["Little Vicki"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "[Groaning] I ate too much plastic candy. / Heavens to betsy. The star of the show is sick. / Whatever will we do? There's only one person who can get us out of this pickle.", "c": ["Ralph", "Little Vicki"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Lisa? / Yes? / Help me into Ralph's costume. [Sighs]", "c": ["Little Vicki", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Oh, it's too important. I'll do it for you. [Sighs]", "c": ["Little Vicki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Where's Lisa? / Shh! This plot is hard enough to follow as it is.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Where's Lisa? / Shh! This plot is hard enough to follow as it is.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Wow. Look at her go. / Yeah, that pressure we put on her really paid off.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Nobody upstages Little Vicki. [Hisses]", "c": ["Little Vicki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Stop the clapping! You'll kill us all!", "c": ["Little Vicki"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "I once destroyed Buddy Ebsen's credit rating. / Why? / He knows why.", "c": ["Little Vicki"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "They're clearly in the on position. See? 'On.' / I was merely trying to spare the girl's feelings, you insensitive clod.", "c": ["Professor Frink", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Jesus, Mary and glavin! These shoes are in the off position. / You mean I danced all by myself? / See, honey? All you needed was to believe- / What are you talking about, Professor Frink? They're clearly in the on position. See? 'On.'", "c": ["Professor Frink", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "I guess I'm never gonna be a Broadway baby. / That's not true, honey. You can always write a depressing Broadway play of some kind. / You think so? / Sure. It could be a story about people coming to terms with things. / Hey, yeah. You could load it up with lots of swears. That's what David Mamet does.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Hey, yeah. You could load it up with lots of swears. That's what David Mamet does.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "Why, it's just a cute little weasel. Hello, there, Mr. Weasel. / Isn't that cute? [Screaming] / [Electricity Crackling] / I'm down!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 20, "et": "Last Tap Dance In Springfield"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Now be careful with those video cameras, children. In order to buy them, the school board had to eliminate geography. This globe will never spin again.", "c": ["teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Now, class, I want you to be creative with your video projects. I don't want to see 30 Blair Witch knockoffs.", "c": ["teacher", "students"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.99, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Stop Hitting Yourself, take one.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Tonight on the Discovery Channel, Inside Lisa's Nose. What will we find, boogers or Nazi gold?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Otto, a red traffic light means what? Oooh. No time for brainteasers. Today's the day I ask my girlfriend to take a ride on the matrimony pony.", "c": ["teacher", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "We met in the summer of love. Woodstock, '99.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Quick! I need some water! Eight dollars! Not in this lifetime.", "c": ["Otto", "vendor"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, Otto. Of course my answer is- Oooh, wait, wait, wait, wait. This solo is kick-ass!", "c": ["Becky", "Otto"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Ooh, and such delicate tissue paper. Huh? Zig-Zag?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Ohhh, we're 'cordially invited this Saturday... to join Otto and Becky at 742 Evergreen Terrace'? That's our address!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Hey, it'll be easy. You still got most of the stuff from Apu's wedding back there.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Elephant trumpeting in background", "c": ["elephant"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, Mom, you're not supposed to throw rice anymore. Birds eat it, their stomachs swell, and they explode. Why am I just learning this now?", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Well, the important thing is you came. We're leaving.", "c": ["Otto", "Otto's father"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Always a bridesmaid, only occasionally a bride.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "So, any words for the bride and groom? Not now, Bart. I'm trying to urinate. You don't seem to be trying very hard.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Dad! The bride and groom are supposed to cut the wedding cake. Oh, that's just superstition.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, we'll be fine. Otto's got a clean police record and he doesn't do any needle drugs.", "c": ["Becky"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Well, the real key according to sexperts is mutual interests.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "He refers to our lovemaking as the Head bangers Ball!", "c": ["Becky"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "That's how I polished Homer into the perfect- Homer! No! That's ice!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "As for the matter of my honorarium. What? You know, my emolument. Huh? Pay me- $300.", "c": ["Reverend"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "300? I could have gotten Rick Dees for that.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "You got Poison to play at our wedding? We're Cyanide. A loving tribute to Poison. We need a ride home!", "c": ["Becky", "band member"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "You got Poison to play at our wedding? We're Cyanide. A loving tribute to Poison. We need a ride home!", "c": ["Becky", "Band member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Moe, can I give you some shrimp for the road? Nah. I'll just take the ring pillow... and these, uh, seven presents I bring.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Yeah. It's better now than when you're too old and fat to get another man.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Remember that talk we had about you not wrecking people's weddings?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "A man innocently changes his oil when... a two-ton car comes crashing down!", "c": ["TV narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Who'd have thought you could hold up a car with a wicker basket?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "So I usually sneak a little meat juice into her vegetables. Wow! You're a real-life Martha Stewart. I mean, without the evil.", "c": ["Marge", "Becky"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Mom, this gravy tastes better than God's sweat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "What are these things in the mashed potatoes? That's the skins. I left them on. Well, nobody's perfect. Let me just pick those out.", "c": ["Marge", "Becky"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "What are these things in the mashed potatoes? That's the skins. I left them on. Well, nobody's perfect. Let me just pick those out.", "c": ["Homer", "Becky", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "No! Oh, Becky, your potatoes are the best I've ever had.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Yeah, Mom. I need something great. Milhouse has footage of himself falling down the stairs.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "We're jamming, Mom. She's painting my music... and I'm playing to her painting.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Actually, you could just tie them at the ends. That way the elastic doesn't wear out. Yes. I hate when things get worn out.", "c": ["Becky", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "She's so helpful. And everyone loves her. And, well, this may sound crazy... but I think my family likes Becky more than me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "I wouldn't worry about that. Yeah. You're gonna be dead in a week anyway.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Never let an attractive woman into your house. All they ever do is usurp your family and then kill you.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Like that documentary, The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. That was a movie.", "c": ["Patty/Selma", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Or club you with an antique wooden doll. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was a good one.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was a good one. Oh. But first, she's going to seduce your husband. Becky's going to seduce Homer? [Both Groan] It's an act of violence, not love.", "c": ["Patty/Selma", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. You can learn a lot from your kids if you just listen to 'em.", "c": ["Becky"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Why do I always think of the perfect thing to say when it's too late? 'Shut up, Becky!' Oh, that would have been sweet.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "The 'brakes cut' light! Hmm?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Wow. Tough glass. I still say ours is bigger.", "c": ["bystanders"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "I don't know. Get some attention from a handsome police officer. That's crazy!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Fine. Let me tell you what I tell everybody who comes in here. The law is powerless to help you.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Do I have to be dead before you'll help me? Well, not dead. Dying.", "c": ["Marge", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Just show me the knife, in your back, not too deep... but it should be able to stand by itself.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "And God said, Gather ye two of every flavor. Anoint them with 62 sauces, whipped cream and nuts. And ye shall call it... the Ark!", "c": ["ice cream server"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Don't mess with me! I've got jimmies! I can only see a horrible rainbow!", "c": ["Marge", "bystander"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Usurper! Usurper! Usurper!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Shut up, Becky! There, I finally said it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "I can only see a horrible rainbow!", "c": ["Crowd member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Drop the cone, sugar! Whoopsie. Yeah, powerless to help you, not punish you.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Yeah, powerless to help you, not punish you.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "This isn't over, Becky! I know where you live! My house!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "It was healthy. He reciprocated. He reciprocated!", "c": ["Marge", "Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "I see. And this 'god,' is he in this room right now? Oh, yes. He's kind of everywhere.", "c": ["Judge", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Marge Simpson, you give us no choice but to declare you utterly- I'm not insane! You didn't let me finish. Insane!", "c": ["Judge", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Run, Marge! Run! Pump those crazy legs!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Even here at Juggernauts where it's wet T-shirt month! But for now... this reporter prays that Mad Marge can be captured before she kills again. Kills again? She hasn't killed once!", "c": ["TV reporter", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Kills again? She hasn't killed once! Shouldn't we be out there trying to find her?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Freeze, you crazy mommy! That a boy. But you gotta aim a little higher. There you go. That's a kill shot.", "c": ["Ralph", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "who's your favorite Native American warrior? Crazy Horse! Whoo, whoo, whoo!", "c": ["Krusty", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Hmm! I really should read the whole headline before I react.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "I mean, I am talking to myself. You are? Oh, I thought I'd made a friend.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, about that. When I changed your oil... I may have drained your brake fluid. I didn't say anything 'cause I thought you'd be mad. Oh, boy. My bad.", "c": ["Becky"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, about that. When I changed your oil... I may have drained your brake fluid. I didn't say anything 'cause I thought you'd be mad. Oh, boy. My bad.", "c": ["Becky"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Hey, no biggie. I was trying to steal your family. I even thought of a good place to bury you. Then I didn't have a shovel, so I went to the hardware store. They have six different kinds. I was, like, 'Later'", "c": ["Becky"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "We put enough tranquilizers in there to take down Jonathan Winters. Oh, I've got too much to do to take a nap right now.", "c": ["doctor", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "And, Homer, since you're dressed for it... I got some S & M for ya- scrubbing and mopping.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 21, "et": "Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad Marge"}, {"t": "Look at her vacuum.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "They told us what to wear... how to dress, which clothes we should put on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "After the show, Meryl Streep spit on me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "They almost drove me to fortified wine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "That's how I was raised, and I turned out TV.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Sheriff Lowbrow. Home Improvement.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Finally, I said, 'So do it. Either [Bleep] or get off the pot.' And [Bleep] he did.", "c": ["Marge", "Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Honey, I'm home. The boss is coming to dinner, and I need a clean shirt. I haven't done the laundry yet. Mamma mia! Now I'll have to do it!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "It was amazing how fast Dad betrayed his vision of a realistic show.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Every day I thought about firing Marge. You know, just to shake things up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "The man who cut my hair was also president of Fox.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Fox had an endless supply of clever slogans, man.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Sometimes I'd have to read the cake just to know who I was singing to.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Dad, I've never said 'Cowabunga' in my life. Your script sucks.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "And that horrible act of child abuse became one of our most beloved running gags.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "We were using $50 bills as toilet paper and toilet paper as dog toilet paper.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "We found a secret room that was filled to the ceiling with parachute pants. I'm wearing some now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Yeah, I've seen all the overnight sensations - Brad Hall, Rich Hall, Rich Little, Little Richard - but the Simpsons blew 'em all away.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, Krustophenia sits on the shelf.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "And the award for Best Hard-core Thrash Metal goes to... Simpsons Christmas Boogie?", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "I want to set the record straight. I thought the cop was a prostitute.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Oh, Homer was spending money like a... teenage Arab.", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "I felt kinda guilty 'cause I was always tryin' to score with his wife.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "He paid me and Carl a thousand bucks to kiss each other", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "He paid me and Carl a thousand bucks to kiss each other. Hey, did we ever get that money?", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "But reckless spending and interracial homoeroticism were just volume one of The Encyclopedia Self-Destructica.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Then came the rocks - jagged rocks, hitting me with their jags.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Let's just say that fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug was the drugs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "I mean, there we were with Hollywood royalty like Milton Berle and Nelson Mandela.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "And just a few stars down from the Cheerios honeybee.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Awards and honors are great, but they don't pay the pickle man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Her check bounced higher than Rubber Girl.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "When people reach for their diaphragm, they don't want to see my picture.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "If the sea captain could be in the show, why not me? I've even got a catchphrase. Nyah! Whaa! Whaa, whaa, whaa! Now I lost it.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Yes, I finked on Homer, but, you know, he deserved it. Never have I seen such abuse of the 'Take a penny, leave a penny' tray.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Hey! They can't take our house! My potbellied pig is in there! Ah, Mr. Porky! No!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Fine. I'll do Teen Wolf 3. I've got fair-weather friends to feed.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Hey, you've been riding me all day. Why don't you poop in your hat?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "That man is the real Seymour Skinner.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "While he was in rehab, the part of Bart Simpson was played by his good friend Richie Rich.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Don't have a cow, Mother.", "c": ["Richie Rich as Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Hello, Iowa! Does anyone have a doughnut?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Before a riot could break out, Jimmy Carter came to the rescue with his comedy break dancing.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Coming up: Was the dream really over? Yes, it was. Or was it?", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "But now the wing was on fire, and the prayer had been answered - by Satan.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Fox put the show on hiatus and replaced it with hidden camera footage from the dressing room at Ann Taylor.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "I literally chewed the scenery.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "So the next time you see a sheriff, shoot him. A smile.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "How could I even get all five necessary drops into her cereal?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.37, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "I mean, emotionally it was terrible, but the turkey was so moist.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "That night, fate wore a cummerbund of suspense.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Well, I'm also trying to patch things up between Van Halen and Sammy Hagar.", "c": ["Willie Nelson"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "And now the future looks brighter than ever for this northern Kentucky family.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "This will be the last season.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "I was so gay. But I couldn't tell anyone.", "c": ["Huckleberry Hound"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 11, "e": 22, "et": "Behind The Laughter"}, {"t": "Why don't you read Cathy? She's hilarious. / Eh, too much baggage.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Taurus: Today you will die. And you may get a compliment from an attractive coworker!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "That sounds unusually specific for a horoscope.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Today your husband will die!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Don't hurt me, horoscope. I'm afraid-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Ow! Oh! Paper cut! Paper cut!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Missed me! Stupid horoscope.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Cloopid blorapope.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "That is one handsome rattlesnake you got bitin' your arm there.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Nah, he'll get tired of bitin' in an hour or so. Snakes- nature's quitters.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Nothing happened except for the pickax in my head, the rattlesnake bite and the testicle thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Another broccoli-related death.", "c": ["Grim Reaper"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "One of the deadliest plants on earth. Why, it tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste.", "c": ["Grim Reaper"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Sure is easy when they're stiff like this. And very sad.", "c": ["Grim Reaper"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Got to heaven before you, Flanders!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "I don't see a single good deed next to your name.", "c": ["Saint Peter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I didn't get the number of hours or good deeds.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "What the hell was I thinking?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "You were wrong. Dead wrong.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just trying to get in. I'm not running for Jesus.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "People can see up my bustle!", "c": ["Old Lady"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. I'm pretty sure she was gonna be the next Hitler.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Your dad is dead / Mine's just in jail", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Stop that crying! Man, you're annoying!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "No. You're thinking of Santa Claus.", "c": ["Saint Peter"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "I'm already up.", "c": ["John Wayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "But these fairy tales take me away from the harsh reality of peasant life.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Who's up for a merry jig?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Why are the oafs always the first to go?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Maybe you could be a dunce, Father.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "I was born an oaf and I'll die an oaf.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Don't worry. No child will ever starve in my home. So long, kids!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Say 'hi' to your other brother and sister.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Face it. They're not great parents.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Aw, geez. I came on too strong again. Oh, I'm so desperately lonely.", "c": ["Troll"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Well, this doesn't take a genius.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "That bed was just right!", "c": ["Goldilocks"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "We could've sold them!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Ah, she seems nice. I'm gonna go with my gut and trust her. You're probably right.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Eh. What are you gonna do?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Well, at least stop basting yourself.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Uh, George... Cauldron.", "c": ["Witch"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Maybe he can fix me up with Ed Ladle.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Oh, that's a load-bearing candy cane, you clumsy oaf!", "c": ["Witch"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Almost. Just give her another 20 minutes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Alcohol and night swimming. It's a winning combination.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "You're dolphins- the clowns of the sea.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "This looks like the work of rowdy teens. Lou, cancel the prom.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Gray, bottlenosed, intelligent Italians.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Intelligent Italians? Something's wrong.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "We're all frightened and horny.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Snorky... talk... man.", "c": ["Snorky"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "We were trying to get out. It's cold, it's wet. Every morning I wake up phlegmy.", "c": ["Snorky"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Don't forget we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole and the pudding cup.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Well, you gotta hand it to those dolphins. They just wanted it more.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Can you believe it, Kodos? They left us out of the Halloween show!", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "Do we want to do a commercial for something called 'Old Navy'?", "c": ["Kodos"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xi"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "[Whoopee Cushion Farts] - [Whimpers] - [Laughs]", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.13, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Whoa, a badger! Sorry, man. You can't crash here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Then what's this? - That says 'corn,' Bart.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Can we borrow your woodpecker? - I guess so. But we need him back by 6:00. It's his birthday.", "c": ["Bart", "Todd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Badger, my ass. It's probably Milhouse.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "It's a badger, all right, or possibly a griffin.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt? - What am I, a tailor?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "939? What the hell is that? Oh, my life is ruined!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "The six is closer to the three, so you got convenience there. But the nine has less to do with Satan, which is a plus in this religious world of ours.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Don't forget the leaflets they dropped from the space shuttle. And the two weeks we all spent at area code camp.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Joan Collins must be in town. - Joan Collins? That girl sleeps with everybody!", "c": ["Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "I've been a fan of the Who since the very beginning when they were the Hillbilly Bugger Boys!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm Phoney McRingring, mascot and president of the telephone company.", "c": ["Phoney McRingring"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "It's a movie, Dad. - Quiet, honey. Daddy's asking the man a question.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Are you stupider than a monkey? - How big of a monkey?", "c": ["Phoney McRingring", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "I accuse the phone company of making that film on purpose! - Well, of course we did.", "c": ["Homer", "Phone Company Representative"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Homer's right! We're gettin' the Joan Collins special!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Fellow 939'ers, I say we break off and form our own city!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Now we just sit back and wait for an N.F.L. Franchise.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "I represent the Arizona Cardinals. - Keep walking.", "c": ["Cardinals Representative", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Say, I couldn't help but overhear. I represent the Arizona Cardinals. - Keep walking.", "c": ["Cardinals Rep", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Good decision there, Homer. You showed a lot of poise.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "I reluctantly accept this highly-paid, glamorous job.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "We have a better town bird. - Oh, yeah? What is it? - The bluebird. - Damn it.", "c": ["Homer", "Quimby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Sweetie, you know your mother and I only stay together for the sake of my political career.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Sweetie, you know your mother and I only stay together for the sake of my political career.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Give it back! That's my novelty flying disk. / You're in Olde Springfield now!", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Hey, his pants are in our park too! - Get him!", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Oh, no worries there. That's Henderson's toilet paper!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Hey, the TV man is talking about us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart, c'mere a minute! - You c'mere a minute! - Oh, yeah?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart, c'mere a minute! - You c'mere a minute! - Oh, yeah?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Oh, no. You can't do heart surgery in the dark! - Sounds like a wager to me. - I'll take a piece of that.", "c": ["Doctor", "Gambling voices"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Oh! Oh! Sweet glayvin! Oh, good God! Hey, wait, wait, wait! Ow! Oh! Oh! Sir Isaac's legs are hurting!", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Those rich, snobby Indians.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "There's nothing like revenge for getting back at people. - I don't know. Vengeance is good.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "There's nothing like revenge for getting back at people. - I don't know. Vengeance is good.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Because of you, we're all takin' golden showers!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "We should call the guys they used. / [Homer calling Berlin Wall builders gets wrong area code]", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "And then a wave of disease should help to- Hey! Stop streaming over the wall!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "They couldn't take one lousy famine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "What the hell are you doing? - Duh! Trashing the hotel room.", "c": ["Roger Daltrey", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "But we have a handshake agreement with a concert promoter... and that's a sacred bond. - [All] Sacred bond.", "c": ["Pete Townshend", "The Who"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Keith Partridge? Who huddle!", "c": ["Roger Daltrey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "I opened for the Who at Woodstock. I came out in a Beatle wig with a ukulele. Hendrix said he almost plotzed. His exact words.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "That fat, dumb and bald guy sure plays some real hardball.", "c": ["Pete Townshend"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Look, Lisa. Daddy's in the Who. Ooh!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Oh, come on. It plays itself! # Pac-Man fever # # Doo-doo-doo-doo # # It's a-driving me crazy #", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "Well, I'll be chuggered. That's the sticky wicket? Why not just buy telephones with auto ring-up? Or as you Yanks call it, 'speed dial.'", "c": ["Pete Townshend"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "My experiment? You're the one who came up with this whole idea-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 2, "et": "A Tale Of Two Springfields"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "This watermelon won't know what hit it. I love our Tuesdays together, Dad.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Hey, we just took care of that dangerous melon that was threatening our garden. Yeah. We're heroes. But where's our parade?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "It's hopeless. - Or is it? - Yeah, it's hopeless. - I said, 'Or is it?' I said, 'It-' Oh.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Listen, do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast? Well, like all Americans, fast. But- Clear!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Hmm. Well, you can't argue with results.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Target date: January 2007.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Fire in the hole! Hmm. It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Uh, honey, there's a point in every father's life... when he blows up his daughter's room.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? You didn't blow up Maggie's room. - [Explosion]", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "It is my birthday! - That's the spirit. Now what do you want to do?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Stupid Lisa.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Mmm! These stigmuffins are to die for.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Oh, if you like that, you should try Mary Magdalene's Chocolate Orgasm.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "He discovered electricity and used it to torture small animals and green mountain men. And that key he tied to the end of a kite? It opened the gates of hell!", "c": ["Stephen King"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "you can absorb books instantly by attaching this electrode to the brainpan... and this one to the... loins!", "c": ["Salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "And you lose weight? - Uh, you might. It's a free country.", "c": ["Customer", "Diet book author"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Network Programming for Dummies. Christianity for Dummies. Mo- Moby Dick? 'Call me Ishmael, dummy.'", "c": ["Various"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Look, Maggie, Christopher Walken's reading Goodnight Moon. 'Good night, room. Good night, moon. Good night, cow jumping over the moon.'", "c": ["Marge", "Christopher Walken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Please, children, scooch closer. Don't make me tell you again about the scooching. You in the red, chop-chop. Hmm.", "c": ["Christopher Walken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Maya Angelou is black? - It is a Mach-five child... forever bound to suckle from the shriveled breast of Congress.", "c": ["Person", "Maya Angelou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "No. That's not what I meant at all. You couldn't have gotten it more wrong. But- Please, just sit down. I'm embarrassed for both of us.", "c": ["Amy Tan", "Fan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa. I didn't ask for your life story.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Hey, this pen's gotta last me all day! Now if you could bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, yeah.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Hey, this pen's gotta last me all day! Now if you could bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, yeah.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "My name is Sophie. - Hey, good luck with that. - I'm your daughter. - What?", "c": ["Sophie", "Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Ohh! I think I just 'seltzered' myself.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Shut up, Updike!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Was your mother an Israeli flight attendant? - No. - Cokie Roberts? - No, she was a soldier. Chestnut brown hair, kind of shy, 32 confirmed kills-", "c": ["Krusty", "Sophie"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Saddam Hussein? They should call him 'So-Damn-Insane!'", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Hey! You're just fanning the flames of hatred!", "c": ["Soldier"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Maybe it was the anthrax in the air. Maybe it was the fact the Arab women weren't bitin'. Whatever it was, it was magic.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "You can't kill Saddam! He's half my act!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "I just saved my baseball bit. 'Who-say-in's on first, lya-toll-ya's on second and-' Aah!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "All Mom ever said was my father was some pathetic clown. So I typed 'pathetic clown' into a search engine and your name popped right up.", "c": ["Sophie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "What's wrong with your eyes? You need a Claritin or something?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "So how's Maude Flanders doing up there? She playin' the field? Ooh! Yeah, really? All those guys?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Listen, kid, I'm not the kind of dad who, you know, does things... or says stuff, or looks at you, but the love is there.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Ohh! I gotta sit up now? Ohh! What am I, Baryshnikov? Ohh!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "You know, for a clown, you're not really a lot of fun.", "c": ["Sophie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Hey, uh, careful, boys. That arch is looking a little Romanesque.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "No, Son. You let 'em finish, then you smash it. That's a good boy.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Well, I won't lie. Fatherhood isn't easy- like motherhood- but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Except for some mag wheels. Oh, man. That would be sweet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "What were we talking about? Ooh, a clown! [Chuckles]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "I thought I was on! When was I off? That bit about the tide pool? I tell ya, it killed at Jacques Cousteau's funeral.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "No. I guess musical talent skips a generation, like diabetes. You might want to watch out for that too.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "No. I guess musical talent skips a generation, like diabetes. You might want to watch out for that too.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "I think I'll go somewhere friendlier, like beautiful downtown Grozny.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "My little girl's sharp as a tack. I tried the 'got your nose' bit on her, didn't fool her for a second.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "My uncle still has my nose.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "A weema-way A weema-way - Don't do that.", "c": ["Krusty", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Do it, do it do it, do it - She'll never know", "c": ["Devil/Krusty's conscience"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Well, it won't bring much cash, but its sentimental value's through the roof. It is acceptable.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "This is a ukulele. - Yeah, the thinking man's violin. Check it out.", "c": ["Sophie", "Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Wait! Time out! Four aces is not a gamble.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Word on the street is you dumped Dawson. He's history, Jenda. Wait till he sees me with that new exchange student. Hola, Harmony. \u00bfQue es el dilly-yo?", "c": ["Teen characters"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "I'm all for ethnic diversity, but this is just pandering. Maybe so. But Dawson's gonna be bummed.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "It's some kind of Mafia summit! Every mob family in the country's here. The Cuomos, the Travoltas, the Lasordas, the Boyardees.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Hey, I heard there's a lunar eclipse tonight. Maybe we should look up. Nah. For me it's solar or nothin'.", "c": ["Mobster 1", "Mobster 2"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Nah. For me it's solar or nothin'.", "c": ["Mob guard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "We've narrowed it down to either Johnny Tightlips or Frankie the Squealer.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Okay, it's me! I can't help it! I just like squealin'! It makes me feel big!", "c": ["Frankie the Squealer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Did you know Fat Tony's real name is Marion? You just don't get it, do ya?", "c": ["Frankie", "Legs"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Johnny Tightlips, where'd they hit you? I ain't sayin' nothin'. But what do I tell the doctor? Tell him to suck a lemon.", "c": ["Paramedic", "Johnny Tightlips"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Small bills, unmarked and nonsequential. Holy samolians! There must be five grand in there! Oh, which I intentionally put in there for you.", "c": ["Sophie", "Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "That's him! That's the one! Homer Simpson! - I said I was sorry. - All right. Fair enough. - Class act.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Homer", "Legs"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Sorry you're such jerks! Ha, ha! [Screams] Ow! That bullet went in!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "Shut up, Updike!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 3, "et": "Insane Clown Poppy"}, {"t": "256? [Groans] And I'm stuck with this useless 252.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Don't destroy me. I can still make you happy... to the max! Here's a headline for Jay. 'Ketchup Truck Hits Hamburger Stand.' [Laughs]", "c": ["Gamestation 252"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Mom, can I have 200 bucks for a 256-K Gamestation? That's less than a dollar a K.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Marge's thrift song about putting money in your cap, interrupted by 'I don't have a cap.'", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "You want money? Get a job like your old man. / So now you're smarter than your old man, huh? / I guess. / I like your attitude. Take what you need.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "You're paying me in hair? Are you insane?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "You take these. You hang Thai menu on door. I get more business. Send daughters to small liberal arts college - Swarthmore, maybe Sarah Lawrence. Call professors by first name. Hah!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Hey, hey! No menus- Or I'll cut you like a box along the flaps!", "c": ["Unnamed character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Now restaurant fail... children go to state college. Serious students powerless against drunken 'jockocracy.' Baseball hats everywhere!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Menu boy no be coward like shrimp. Menu boy be brave like prawn.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Leave no footprint, only lunch specials.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "I don't know. A million? / You're ruining the earth! / True, but I 'gots' to get paid.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Hey, some people in this family are doers, and some are 'don't-ers.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "I knew this day would come. The cows are taking back what's theirs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Get back in. It's only funny with a small car.", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Take out the mother cow. The rest will follow.", "c": ["Police Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "You can't silence the truth with beanbags! / That's nice work with the 'bag-zooka.' Gotta love what you do, Chief.", "c": ["Protester", "Lou"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "All right, cow boy. I'll see you in 'moo-nicipal' court. / Good one, Chief. / What? What'd I say?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou", "Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "He'd be cute if he weren't so idealistic.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "The group is led by teenage activist Jesse Grass... a 'dreadlocked' dreamboat whose 'Birken stock' is on the rise.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Ah, the Luftwaffe- The Washington Generals of the History Channel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "First comes love, then comes- Um- Damn it, I know this.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Hey, I get enough flaming toilet paper thrown on me at home.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "You do yoga? / Yeah, but I started before it was cool.", "c": ["Lisa", "Jesse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "I'm a level-five vegan. I won't eat anything that casts a shadow.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Only at home? You mean you don't pocket-mulch? / Oh, it's so decomposed.", "c": ["Jesse", "Jesse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Well, we might have an opening at the poseur level.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "No. I like to save the environment my own way. [Tires Squealing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "50,000 for Thai menus. Daughter on wait list at Bennington.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Sold to the rich Texan. Yee-haw! [Whooping]", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Not for a Phish concert, not even for Burning Man.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Look at these refugees. How about a smile? / They've undergone terrible hardships. / Well, moping won't make it better.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Marge, she's gonna narc on our stash. / We don't have a stash. / No. Of course not.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Maybe I could just circulate a petition.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Oh, I didn't think it would be so high. Maybe I could just circulate a petition.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Hang in there, Laura! / It's Lisa! / Right! Lisa. You're hard core.", "c": ["Jesse", "Lisa", "Jesse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "This is your fault, with your nonthreatening, Bobby Sherman-style good looks. / No girl could resist your charms. / I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. I was lost in your eyes.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "This is your fault, with your nonthreatening, Bobby Sherman-style good looks. No girl could resist your charms. I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. I was lost in your eyes.", "c": ["Homer", "Jesse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Excuse me. That's 'littlest' tree hugger. And whether you love or hate her politics... you've gotta go gawk at this crazy idiot.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Excuse me. That's 'littlest' tree hugger. And whether you love or hate her politics... you've gotta go gawk at this crazy idiot.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Mom is calling rescue agencies... Dad is building a giant ladder... but it is of poor quality.", "c": ["Bart (reading letter)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Ew. Someone's been marking their territory.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.14, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "We found her sleeping bag right here. Our working theory is that the lightning exploded her. / You don't get to say that! / Back to you, Kent.", "c": ["Reporter", "Kent Brockman", "Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "I'm afraid it doesn't look good, Kent. We found her sleeping bag right here. Our working theory is that the lightning exploded her.", "c": ["Field Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "I loved Lisa Simpson- Loved her like a shrub. And I would give anything to see her sweet face again.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "But in death, she will do more for our cause than she ever could have done in life.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "But in death, she will do more for our cause than she ever could have done in life.", "c": ["Jesse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "That's why in memory of that poor little girl... I'm turning this entire forest into the Lisa Simpson Wilderness Preserve.", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "This family has had nothing but bad luck when it comes to farce.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "[High-pitched Voice] Come in.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "So, Bart, our school policy... is to give students in your situation straight A's. / Get out! What's the catch? / The tragic loss of your sister.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "So, Bart, our school policy... is to give students in your situation straight A's. / Get out! What's the catch? / The tragic loss of your sister.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Homer, uh, booze is on the house... seeing as how Lisa is, um- Oh, how do I put this? Ridin' the midnight train to slab city.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Dear Moe, if anything should ever happen to me... I want you to tear up my dad's tab... and pour cocktail onions... down your pants.", "c": ["Lisa's Voice (Homer)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Well, I ain't never said no to a dead girl yet.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Don't touch it! They can clone her from the spit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "the world's 'rootin'est,' 'tootin'est,' 'pollutin'est' amusement park!", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "[Apu] It was Lisa's dream.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "I'm not dead-And neither is my sense of moral outrage.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "I don't get it. / What? / Oh, right- I don't have super powers... just yet.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "No! It was finger Ling-Ling good.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Yee-haw! Score one for the bad guys. [Laughs]", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "I even got 'em to install a solar-powered electric chair. / Dude, we've been here all morning. Could you at least re-moisten my head sponge?", "c": ["Jesse", "Death Row Inmate"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "The song with multiple puns: 'This log is your log / When lightning struck it / It kicked the bucket / I poured some onions / Inside my trousers'", "c": ["Chorus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 4, "et": "Lisa The Tree Hugger"}, {"t": "Happy first 'A' Bart Simpson", "c": ["Simpson Family"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Now that our son is an honor student... I'm going to get one of those bumper stickers... that informs strangers of that fact.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Just a cotton-pickin' minute. I've been getting A's since Gymboree.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I was trying to breed the hamster with the lizard... to create an unholy supercreature...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "when I saw an even worse crime against nature.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "While the kids are out getting their nits picked, we can have our own private 'cootie call.'", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Oh, you talk too much. Let's do it on Martin's desk. - It is usually the cleanest.", "c": ["Krabappel", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "It was like a whole different kind of cheating.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "[Computerized Male Voice] Deadbeat. Deadbeat. Deadbeat.", "c": ["Credit card machine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "They're getting away / Stop them, Mary Kay", "c": ["Restaurant staff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Your playing, while technically proficient, lacks passion.", "c": ["Restaurant patron"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hoboes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I had to sell it for gas money... Which I spent on a novelty horn.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Financial panther, eh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Get him, Sheba!", "c": ["Financial planner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "You know how it is with cops. I'll get shot three days before retirement.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "In the business we call it 'retirony.'", "c": ["Financial planner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "What a terrible thing to say. Now, look. You made my wife cry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Just give the word, and I'll cut him off. - I couldn't ask you to do that. - Consider it done.", "c": ["Homer", "Financial planner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Marge, your posture looks terrible.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "your intelligence profile indicates that you're too... 'stupid' to stick to a budget. - Yes. Go on.", "c": ["Financial planner", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I'm a financial planner, not a financial consultant.", "c": ["Financial planner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I know you're not a deaf-mute, Mr. Simpson. We've been talking for the last 20 minutes.", "c": ["Financial planner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Why not write a musical about the common cat or the king of Siam?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Whoa. Whoa. Slow down there, maestro. There's a new Mexico?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Well, with the old ball and chain gone, maybe I can finally have a little fun at the office.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "You've made a powerful enemy today, my friend.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Oh, I... concur. Word-a-day Calendar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "This must be some sort of cafetorium.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "That's the sneeze guard. You have to lean under it to get salad or sneeze on stuff.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Well, sir-You see, sir, I've worked here a long time... and my wife has a game leg. And my kids have game things as well.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I'm a bored and joyless old man. Give me a 'larf.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "At Lenny? But he's a war hero. - Well, let's decorate him then.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "What say I make you my executive in charge of recreation? No. No. Better yet, my prank monkey.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I can't have my little monkey running around in rags.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Oh, if only the real chicks went down this easy.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Look at that comic book fellow calmly eating candy like a Spaniard.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "And I'd like an hour on the holodeck with Seven of Nine.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Oh! No! What are you doing? Good, fair, poor!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Uh, no, thanks. I'll just eat it here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Good, fair, poor! [Sobbing]", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "There. [Whimpers] D'oh!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Why, he doesn't know the meaning of the word 'gay.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I made a boom-boom.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Baby made a boom-boom.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Business stuff. Uh, downsizing... e-solutions, the glass ceiling.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "What do you do with the $68 I send your mother every month? - Weekday Dad wanted a DVD player.", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Why do I have to do the Lindy Hop?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "That's it. Twenty-three skiddoo, 24... 25 skiddoo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "pandas only feel the slightest tickle from these powerful electric shocks.", "c": ["Zoo narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Ohh. She's saying 'I love you.'", "c": ["Zoo narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Hey, there's our resident bull panda, Ping Ping. With any luck, folks, these two will become very, very close, if you know what I mean.", "c": ["Zoo Announcer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Oh, look. She's presenting. We thought this would take years to happen.", "c": ["Zoo narrator"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Ping Ping just asked Sim Sim to marry him... and I think she just said yes.", "c": ["Zoo narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Dad? The panda was you? Did you see Daddy dance? They all saw me dance.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Yes. I humiliate myself for fistfuls of cash.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "That other panda gave some unexpected 'zazz to the festivities, eh?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Too busy trying to keep my sides from splitting. It's happened before.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Oh, shut up, you tub of guts.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Yes, I may be naked and reeking of panda love... but I've got to stop this before it goes too far.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Take that back... for $903.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Well, well. It looks like my monkey has evolved into a man. A poor man.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Wha- Oh, why did he have to say that extra thing?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I see what you're saying. I need to buy a gun.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I've had a bit of a shoe-sniffing problem myself.", "c": ["Mr. Costington"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "I'm still not allowed on the third floor.", "c": ["Mr. Costington"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "the thing downtown that's open... right next to the men's shelter.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "'Rusty' the Clown? Ah, Springfield gets the lamest balloons. Are you kidding? There's Funky Winkerbean!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Over here, Funky! - Look, it's the Noid. Avoid the Noid. He ruins pizzas.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "The papier-m\u00e2ch\u00e9 is composed entirely of broken treaties.", "c": ["Leeza Gibbons"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Not for one million dollars? [Gasps] Oh, so much money. But Santa can't be evil. But it's so much money.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, Kent. That is not candy. That's fish guts.", "c": ["Leeza Gibbons"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Oh! Why, Santa? Why?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "But if you're here, who's that on the float? Ho, ho, ho! Merry 'Fishmas'!", "c": ["Lisa", "Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Ho, ho, ho! Merry 'Fishmas'!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Let's just say Lisa gave me an early Christmas present: The gift of dignity.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "Shh! [Homer] Baby made a boom-boom.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 5, "et": "Homer Vs Dignity"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "What's an e-mail? / It's a computer thing- Like an electric letter. / Or a quiet phone call.", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "That does it! I'm getting a computer- As soon as somebody lets me out of here. [Rattling] Oh. [Laughing] I'm so stupid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Well, do you need a paperweight? Because if you buy that machine, that's all you're gonna have, is an expensive paperweight.", "c": ["Computer Store Employee"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Only suckers buy out-of-date machines. Uh, you're not a sucker, are you, sir? / Heavens, no! / Oh, good. Because if you were, I'd have to ask you to leave the store.", "c": ["Computer Store Employee", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "That's the same computer astronauts use to do their taxes. / I was an astronaut. / Of course you were.", "c": ["Computer Store Employee", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "[Recorded Voice #1] You are on your- [Voice #2] Fifth. [Voice #1] mortgage.", "c": ["Computer Voice"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Computer, kill Flanders.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Did I hear my name? My ears are burning. / [Whispering] Good start. Now finish the job. / [Chuckling] Oh, you're busy. Catch you later, 'computator.'", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Oh, $5,000 for a computer, and it can't handle a simple assignment.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Ooh, a dancing Jesus.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "If there's a better use for the Internet, I haven't found it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "You have chosen 'No,' meaning you've committed a crime but don't want to confess. A paddy wagon is now speeding to your home.", "c": ["Computer Voice"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "If you've committed a crime and you want to confess, click 'yes.' Otherwise click 'No.' / You have chosen 'No,' meaning you've committed a crime but don't want to confess.", "c": ["Website Voice"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "You have the right to remain fabulous.", "c": ["Computer Voice"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "I got suspended from school today. / What do you think of my page, Lisa? / They found a switchblade in my locker. / I took a swing at a cop. / I'm just mad all the time.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "They can't sue me if they don't know who I am. I'll just call myself 'Mr. X.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Well, a Web page is supposed to be a personal thing. You've just stolen copyrighted material from everyone else.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "That lousy pothole! Why don't they fix it? / I heard Mayor Quimby spent the street repair fund on a secret swimming pool for himself.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Nelson has never steered me wrong, honey. / You know, it might have been Jimbo. / Beautiful! We have confirmation.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!", "c": ["Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "[Agnes] Seymour! Are you looking at naked ladies? / No, Mother. / You sissy!", "c": ["Agnes Skinner", "Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Good Lord! We've discovered the ruins of an ancient city. / Okay, you do better.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Now I know exactly how God feels. / Do you want turkey sausage or ham? / Bring me two of every animal.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Coming up: How do they get those dogs to talk on the beer commercials? Cowboy Steve will tell you.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "No way. Mr. X is gonna keep on diggin' and probin' until every person in this town is in jail.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "A coconut bagel? Like poison it tastes! / All right, I'll tell you a secret. My bagels are nothing but week-old doughnuts.", "c": ["Abe Simpson", "Bagel Shop Owner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Oh, who am I to point the finger? I once ran over a guy in a parking lot and dumped the body on a golf course.", "c": ["Bagel Shop Owner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "But I assure you, the police do not take prisoners out of their cells and race them... anymore.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "What about using the electric chair to cook chicken? / Yeah, all right, this press conference is over.", "c": ["Reporter", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Are you him? Are you Mr. X? / No. / But you talked in that real sly voice. / Hey, hey, everybody! Homer's Mr. X! / I am not! Or... am I? / Are you? / No!", "c": ["Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Hey, Moe, can you keep a secret? / No. / Not even a little one? / No! / What if I just whisper it! / No, I tells ya!", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "# I've been sittin' on the toilet # All the livelong day ##", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "# I've been sittin' on the toilet # All the livelong day ##", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Then it's agreed. I'll supply you terrorists with deadly uranium. / You are a credit to the great Satan. / Oh, pshaw.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Terrorist"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, we don't know who he is so his cash award will be used to feed starving children. / No! Move! Move! I'm Mr. X! Gimme! Gimme!", "c": ["Pulitzer Committee", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "No! Move! Move! I'm Mr. X! Gimme! Gimme!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "I'm proud that you won the Pulitzer- Finally. But I do feel bad about the starving children. / They're with God now. / Oh, well, that's good.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "But I do feel bad about the starving children. / They're with God now. / Oh, well, that's good.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Well, you can't post news if you don't have any. That's a great idea. I'll make up some news!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "At least take off your Pulitzer Prize when you say that.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "New race discovered living six inches under Denver. All named Morton- Or Mortinson.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "They're controlling our minds with flu shots. I knew it! / Well, kids, now aren't you glad we don't believe in inoculations? / [Both Moaning] Yea!", "c": ["Homer", "Cletus", "Cletus's Kids"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Real news is great, son, but I'm getting a thousand hits an hour with grade 'A' bull plop.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "[Thuds] Stop it, Apu. You're scaring me. [Whimpering]", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "I am not a number! I am a man! / And don't you ever- Oh, wait. I'm Number Five. / Ha, ha! In your face, Number Six!", "c": ["Homer", "Number Six"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Number 27 there knows how to turn water into gasoline. / Number 12 knows the deadly secret behind Tic Tacs. / And I invented the bottomless peanut bag.", "c": ["Number Six"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "I want answers now or I want them eventually!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "That's impossible. All my stories are bull plop. Bull plop!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "To drive people into a frenzy of shopping. That's why flu shots are given just before Christmas. / Of course. It's so simple. / Wait. No, it's not. It's needlessly complicated.", "c": ["Villain", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "[With German Accent] Marge, honey, fra\u00fclein, I'm home. / You're not my husband. / Ja. Please forgive my unexplained two-week absence. To make it up to you, we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaurant then have a night of efficient German sex.", "c": ["Fake Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Marge, honey, fra\u00fclein, I'm home. / You're not my husband. / Ja. Please forgive my unexplained two-week absence.", "c": ["Fake Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Well, I sure don't feel like cooking.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "There's something really different about you, Dad. / I am a new tie wearing.", "c": ["Lisa", "Fake Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "It's made out of toilet paper rolls, toothpicks and plastic forks and the sail is made of scabs and dynamite.", "c": ["Number Six"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Why did you think a big balloon would stop people?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Yes! Fight and struggle. [Groans] If I know me, he won't like being kicked in the crotch.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "If I know me, he won't like being kicked in the crotch. / [Groans] Gott in Himmel!", "c": ["Homer", "Fake Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Bad dog. [Laughing] Once you get used to the 'druggings,' this isn't a bad place.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "Once you get used to the 'druggings,' this isn't a bad place. / Oh, it's wonderful- Truly God's country.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 6, "et": "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Beer, yes! How did you know?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Oh, they oughta call that a 'Large' Island Iced Tea.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 3.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "No, 'Long' is better.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "[Thinking] If she doesn't like it, I'll just die!", "c": ["Questo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Mmm! I'd like to visit that Long Island place, if only it were real.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "I'll do it! I always end up doing it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "That's no gentleman. That's my husband.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "That's no gentleman. That's my husband.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Wow. Mom got a laugh. / I wish she drank every day.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "You talk too much. Abraca-blab-ra. Am I right?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Tell you what? Let's get this ball gag on ya.", "c": ["Diablo"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "You won't feel a thing. You'll feel four things.", "c": ["Diablo"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "So she was made of chimps. Man, magic can do anything!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Gee, I wish I could, Son. But we already left the gift shop.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "That's a party magic college. / It is not. / Yah-huh. / Nuh-huh.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Mommy needs some quiet right now.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Hmm. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Well, there's your problem.", "c": ["Mechanic"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, that's a foreign fish we're looking at. So, uh, 6,500.", "c": ["Mechanic"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Witness mystifying feats that will leave you scratching your head... until it's raw and bloody!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Come on. Pony up, Flanders. The kid's not turning tricks for nothin'.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know: Magic, fortune telling, Oriental cooking.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Dad, only one of them is real. / I know, but which one?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Yeah. And a good dad wouldn't miss his son's little league games. / I told you! I find them boring!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Well, I showed up for all your stupid interventions!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "My father was a monster too.", "c": ["Old Lady"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "But wouldn't that make us con artists? / Well, yeah.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "But God conned me out of 6,500 bucks in car repairs. So, in a way, we'd just be balancing out the universe.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "There you go! We'd be stealing from people we know. It's just like the seasons.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "You want to eat my fat? / I think you know the answer to that.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "There's the Pigeon Drop, the Ear Wigger, the Brillstein grab-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "What are you doing? Why are you frosting that old throw pillow?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "I could ask you the very same question. / Uh, should I just back out of the room? / Would you?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Nice use of the lingo, Homer. / 10-4, kemosabe.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "You'll work off that cake in the acid mines!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Well, you're the mark... of integrity.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "How'd you do your act? You left your magic kit here. / Or so it would seem.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "How'd you do your act? You left your magic kit here. / Or so it would seem.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Is that a Long Island Iced Tea? / Oh, this? Hmm. I think it is.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Mmm. You're a pretty girl.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Or if not him, a similar dog.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Oy! I'll never be a man.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Like my bike that was stolen in third grade. Plus the baldness.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. This seems an awful lot like that movie Paper Moon. / Run, Dad!", "c": ["Ned", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Dad? / That's right. / You don't smoke a pipe. / That's right.", "c": ["Homer", "Grampa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "They used to call me Grifty McGrift. I wrote the book on flimflammin'.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "In the Depression, you had to grift. Either that or work.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Yeah. In the Depression, you had to grift. Either that or work.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Oh, why not? If we don't take their money, they'll just give it to some televangelist.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Let's dust a few fossils.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Now this scam was in The Sting, Part Two, so nobody knows about it.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "I can finally afford a young, crazy, stripper wife.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Yeah. I'm gonna get me the craziest, 'strippiest'-", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Call me mint jelly, 'cause I'm on the lam!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Well, this is about the flashiest car I've ever impounded.", "c": ["FBI Agent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Yeah. We're not criminals. We're just two crazy, mixed-up kids.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. I'll put you in the Rick James suite. It's super freaky.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "That's not an F.B.I. Badge. / 'Colgate Cavity Patrol'? Ohh!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Well, lies got us into this mess, Son. From now on, it's honesty all the way.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "You were carjacked in the church parking lot? / Absolutely. We had stopped in for a quick prayer", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "He was foreign, and he had- Wild, bushy hair, like an animal.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Uh, well, he seemed like a loner. Kept to himself mostly.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "I did not do it, I tell ya!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "At least, let me comb me hair. It's all wild and bushy. / What do you care, Loner.", "c": ["Willie", "Cop"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Hmm. She hasn't touched her Manwich.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "It's 10:00 in the morning. / I guess you haven't heard of chloroform.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "I guess you haven't heard of chloroform.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Carjacking? Who said anything about a carjacking?", "c": ["Prosecutor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Fuzzy like Willie's beard? / Yes! Exactly! No, no. I mean the whole incident is hazy. / Hazy like the moors of Scotland?", "c": ["Prosecutor", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Yes! Exactly! No, no. I mean the whole incident is hazy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Hazy like the moors of Scotland?", "c": ["Prosecutor"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "I believe we was promised $5.00 a day.", "c": ["Jury Foreman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "I believe we was promised $5.00 a day. / All right then. Guilty!", "c": ["Jury Foreman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Ten years? But I 'didna' do it!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Let's see where he's going with this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Hey, watch it! / I look like cable TV.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "Devon Bradley. Character actor, dancer, singer. I'm a triple threat!", "c": ["Devon Bradley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "I know it seems far-fetched, even insulting to your intelligence. But there's a simple and highly satisfying explanation. You see-", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 7, "et": "The Great Money Caper"}, {"t": "I'm more worried about Al's jacket. How many stations can you get on that thing?", "c": ["Sports commentator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "All right. Listen. I am sick of your jokes about the wardrobe! You people can dress yourselves!", "c": ["Sports commentator"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "The Cirque de Pur\u00e9e. We've had tickets since Septembre.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Oh! I missed one of Jerry's zingers. Now I'll never catch up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. That's way better than fun and excitement.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "As French Canadians, they don't believe in refunds... or exploiting animals for entertainment.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Oh! I wanted to see 'em fire a gorilla out of a cannon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Enjoy the show. For one day, we shall die.", "c": ["French Canadian performer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I cannot get the lid off my jar of rainbows!", "c": ["French Canadian performer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Just smash it open!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Oh, you can do it if your heart is pure- or... pur\u00e9e.", "c": ["French Canadian performer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "They always pick the guy with the wires.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Watching those women is giving me ideas.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Mesdames et messieurs, it appears the Cloud Goddess is ripe with rain babies.", "c": ["Sideshow Mel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Oh, no, you don't! I paid full price for this freak show!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "and then melting in the summer.", "c": ["Radio announcer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Arr! Help. I was tied here by teenage pirates.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "And it's open season on savings at Springfield Menswear, which is closed.", "c": ["Radio announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Lenny says we've got the day off! Yippee!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Oh, why does that always happen?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Uh, hey, Lou, could you shake out the last few drops for me? Yeah, no problem, Chief. Seems like a waste of coffee, though.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "But you've kept intact my Cal Ripken-like streak of school 'openage.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "my Cal Ripken-like streak of school 'openage'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Caucus, caucus, caucus. Caucus, caucus, caucus.", "c": ["Teachers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "But we'll have the last laugh on those Johnny-come-not-lies.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Ha-ha! Next time get a DVD!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Albinos virtually invisible", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Sold off to billionaire Montgomery Burns... in a veritable orgasm of poor planning.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "This is terrible! How will the kids get home? I don't know. Internet?", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I'm doing a puzzle with Grandmama, and she'll finish without me.", "c": ["\u00dcter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I can cut a trail through the snow. I'm part Eskimo.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I don't care if you're Kristi Yamaguchi. No one leaves the building.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I don't care if they're kissing Kristi Yamaguchi. You're not going home!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I don't care if they're kissing Kristi Yamaguchi. You're not going home!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "My car, your roof. It's only fair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Sure, you did. 'Mr. Plow.' You're wearing the jacket right now.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I think I know my own life, Ned.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "If you don't eat your relish, you're not getting any mayonnaise.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Screw this. The rest of you can stay here like dorks, but I'm going home.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Well, I hope you've all learned something from Nelson's 'headstrongedness.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "What would Superintendent Chalmers do? Skinner! Eh, that's no help.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Nope. Too dangerous. We're all gonna sit tight and reminisce about candy bars", "c": ["Sergeant Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Get back to the candy bar!", "c": ["Skinner/Sergeant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "That elephant ate my entire platoon.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Actually there are. Five, 10, 15, 20- Uh, can you two share a hook?", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I think we hit something. I hope it's Flanders.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I'm just kidding! Hey, you're all right.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "use this bucket next to Bart's head.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Yeah. As a tribute to Princess Di. And Dodi. Because these days, princesses-", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Is that some sort of plush novelty? Well, here's a scouring pad. It's just as good.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Well, here's a scouring pad. It's just as good", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "It's cold and hurt-y.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I know it looks like the path to freedom. But one collapse, and presto- you've got a snow casket.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Defying orders, eh? Well, I see you Scotsmen are thrifty with courage too.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "That's the last time you'll slap your Willie around.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "You want the pee bucket on your head?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I'm writing all your names on the detention list in my mind.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I always knew I would die caked in something.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Wait. Let's just leave it on... till we forget our troubles", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I can't write this. It's a grammatical nightmare.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "After all the times I've done it... my wrist sounds like a cement mixer.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I told you no one can climb a rope. It's physically impossible", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "What part of didi mau don't you understand?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Quiet, Principal Spinner!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "'Underachiever and proud of it.' How old is this thing?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Underachiever and proud of it.' How old is this thing?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "'Lisa is an outstanding student with a slight tendency toward know-it-all-ism'? That's not even a word!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Twenty-five thousand dollars a year! Whoa! He's a millionaire!", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Let's see. He's 40 years old, times 25 grand. Whoa! He's a millionaire!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Plus, in the summer, he paints houses! He's a billionaire!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "If I were a billionaire, why would I be living with my mother?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Godspeed, Nibbles. Godspeed.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "If you get me out of this, there's a hall monitor position coming open in the spring.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I spit on your monitors! I know. That's why the position's available.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "I spit on your monitors!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Homer, wake up! The car's filling with- I know. Ranch dressing.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Just like the one that saved Ezekiel!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Just like the one that saved Ezekiel!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "You're the camel! Hey, this car's got cruise control.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "It's happening. My horoscope was right!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Not Huck Finn! I spent hours crossing out the sass-back!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Do you have air bags? No! The church opposes them for some reason!", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "No! The church opposes them for some reason!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "You did it, Nibbles! Now, chew through my ball sack.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "There is, sir. Ah! Then I'm happy.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "if there's one thing I'm good at... it's pretending things didn't happen.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Boy, that salt really ate through the car.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "Ignore her, Effendi. We have each other", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 8, "et": "Skinners Sense Of Snow"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams] [Air Whooshing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Animation is so great. It's way better than... whatever the alternative is.", "c": ["Unknown narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Wait. I'm confused. Why was a wolf shooting a web?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Cartoons don't have to make sense. He's right, you know.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "What you making there, Gravey? It's a pipe bomb, Jobriath... for to blow up Planned Parenthood.", "c": ["Gravey", "Jobriath"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "All I need is some courage. Courage, I tell ya. Excuse me, but isn't that voice very similar to the Cowardly Lion?", "c": ["Voice actor", "Reporter"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Humina, humina, humina, humina, humina. And Clutzy Cat sounds exactly like Jerry Lewis... with the stealing and the lawsuit and the 'Oh, nice judge. Don't hurt a person with the thing.'", "c": ["Voice actor", "Reporter"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Here's your smokes, Mr. Itchy. Thank you, Louis.", "c": ["Louis", "Itchy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "I don't know what's in 'em. I just know I can't stop smokin' 'em! [All Laughing] [All Coughing]", "c": ["Itchy", "Multiple characters"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Was that cat making out with that mouse? 'Cause if they were-", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Pick me! Pick me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, Here is my spout", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. And that's the truth. [Raspberry]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Don't spay or neuter your pets. Good night!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Urinal cake eroding. Eroding! Eroding! Gone! [All Cheer] [All Whimper]", "c": ["Homer", "Multiple characters"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "An opossum capering around like that would be a smash hit. It would be the world's funniest marsupial.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "And I'm gonna get a piece of the action! So, does he still work here, or what?", "c": ["Homer", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Hello, Marge. [High-pitched Voice] Hi, Homie. Sign this, please. [High-pitched Voice] You're the boss.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer as Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "[High-pitched Voice] Daddy, ask the man for some candy. No, no. No candy for you. [High-pitched Voice] Well, at least get some candy for yourself. [Chuckles] Kids.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer as child", "Bank teller"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "You heard the monkey. Make the trade.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Animotion, up one and one-half. Yahoo! Yahoo, up six and a quarter. Huh? What is this crap?", "c": ["Automated voice", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "After plunging 75 points this morning. Oh. I hope 'plunging' means 'up' and '75' means '200.'", "c": ["News anchor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "The firm declared super-duper bankruptcy... which is terrible news for the company's only stockholder, Homer Simpson.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Okay, people. Let's keep this short. We all want to get home to our families. [All Laughing] All right. First item. I lost our life savings in the stock market.", "c": ["Homer", "Family"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Now let's move on to the real issue- Lisa's hogging of the maple syrup. Well, maybe if Mom didn't make such dry waffles. There, I said it.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Well, maybe if you ate some meat, you'd have a natural lubricant.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Point of order. I didn't lose all the money. There was enough left for this cowbell. Damn you, eBay!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Damn you, eBay!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "You rent your womb to a rich childless couple. If you agree, signify by getting indignant. Are you crazy? I'm not gonna be a surrogate mother.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "It's 'uter-us,' not 'uter-you.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Like you chew on a telephone wire till you get a shock. Oh. Oh, right. Okay.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Are those ears? Ow! Not so loud!", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "We'll call it Desert Breeze.", "c": ["Scientist"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Food? [Whimpers] I'm blind! [Screaming] Who's gonna buy a pill that makes you blind?", "c": ["Homer", "Scientists"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "He's a little too well fed to be a wino. Hey. What's that? Zoom in on section eight.", "c": ["Scientists"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "But I've had thousands of head X-rays. How come no one ever noticed it before? Oh, I can answer that. You see, whenever I pick up an X-ray, I always hold it like this. My thumb must have covered up the crayon every time.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "[Chuckles] I'll show myself out.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen! Whoo-hoo! Oh, I don't feel so good. [Sneezes] Ah, I think that's all of them.", "c": ["Young Homer", "Adult Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Hey, I came here to be drugged, electrocuted and probed, not insulted.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Increase my killing power, eh? Let's do it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "And they gave me this spiffy nerd ensemble too.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Dr. Joyce Brothers may be well-known... but her psychological credentials are highly suspect.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Notice I no longer say 'libary' or 'tomorry.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "It's so tragic the way they hopped on Pop.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Now hold still. Nothing cracks a turtle like Leon Uris. Ow! Dang it! Ow!", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "That sonata may not be a Glenn Gould performance... but I must say it's 'good as Gould.' [Chuckles]", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Better. I was working on a flat tax proposal... and I accidentally proved there's no God.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.63, "im": 8.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "We'll just see about tha- Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mista- No. It's airtight.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "We'll just see about tha- Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mista- No. It's airtight. Can't let this little doozy get out.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "I am here to give hope to the least of you... because we all have a crayon up our nose. Maybe it's not a crayon made of wax. Maybe it's a crayon made of prejudice.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "A moron says what? Not being a moron, I wouldn't know. However- [Mumbles] What? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your moron.", "c": ["Nelson", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "I've compiled a thorough safety report on this plant. I've decided to disintermediate the local authorities... and send it straight to the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Homer's the guy who rigged up my pants with this special codpiece. Comfy, isn't it? Oh, yeah. It provides the freedom and protection I so sorely need.", "c": ["Carl", "Carl's codpiece wearer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "I can't feed my family with a codpiece.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Wait. You can't hate me. I'm your better! Your better!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Hey! That's me! Stop that. The fire inspector would be appalled.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "And I was a lot happier before I knew Dame Edna was a man. A lot happier.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "I'm detecting a distinct strain... of anti-intellectualism in this tavern. Power off, Einstein.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Oh, many things. Tai chi, chai tea... but I find when I can't keep the unhappy thoughts from swirling in my brain... the best thing is usually a nice long walk.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "You know she's gonna wind up marrying Richard Gere. I thought she'd wind up with that rich snob. Ably played by Bill Paxton. It's Bill Pullman, you fool!", "c": ["Homer", "Moviegoer", "Another moviegoer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Hey. Don't blame me. This movie is tired and predictable.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "That's ridiculous. You do nothing but play God. And I think your 'octo-parrot' would agree. [Squawks] Polly shouldn't be. [Whistles]", "c": ["Homer", "Octo-parrot"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "The old 'Crayola oblongata.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Extended warranty? How can I lose? Perfect.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "We were what-what in the what-what?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Lisa, I'm taking the coward's way out. But before I do, I just want you to know... being smart made me appreciate how amazing you really are.", "c": ["Homer (letter)"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "Oh, you want a hug. Well, that I know how to do. [Grunts] Mmm. Hug.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 9, "et": "Hom\u044f"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "My juice box! Ohh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "They're unveiling a combination apron-smock. It's called a 'smapron.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Did you say 'smockron'? No, smapron.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Man, that was a good Apron Expo! I'm gonna wear my apron on the Fourth of July.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "And this lead apron will keep me safe downstairs. [Chuckles] 'Grill Power.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "I'm a little disappointed. There were too many aprons.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "But all I want to do right now is hit the adjustable sack with a good juice box.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Because when all is said and done- 'Prison rodeo... today'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "The contestants you'll see today are actual prisoners... on a break from their telemarketing duties.", "c": ["PA Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Well, don't feel too bad for him, folks. He's in here for erecting a nativity scene on city property. [All Boo]", "c": ["PA Announcer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "There's so much evil in the world.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Bob Dylan wrote a song to keep him in prison.", "c": ["Warden"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Go, bull! Toss his salad!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "And it looks like old Tornado wants to caramelize his cr\u00e8me br\u00fbl\u00e9e!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Is my lipstick even? Go like this. [Popping]", "c": ["Clown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "That's not gonna do it, Marge. You need something red.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Now for a little calming blue.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Hey, where's your blue shirt? I don't have a blue shirt.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Maybe it's the tear gas. [Sniffles] Or maybe this was the best damn prison rodeo ever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "I can't complain. Nah, that's for the prisoners. You can complain all you want.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Oh, God, my back! It hurts so much! And my job is so unfulfilling!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "And his fondness for the guitar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "They won't give us art supplies... so I had to paint it with pudding.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "He painted a unicorn in outer space. I'm asking you. What's it breathing?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Air. Ain't no air in space. There's an air and space museum.", "c": ["Homer", "Comic Book Guy", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Let's get out of this gosh-forsaken heck-hole.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "They are coming back for us, aren't they?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Well, there's a dull ache certainly. And overlaid on that is a club sandwich of pain. Only instead of bacon there's agony.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Marge, can I have a B.L.T?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "How would you feel if I did some volunteer work at the prison? First, I'd feel like having a B.L.T. - then proud of you.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Ooh, art class. La-di-da.", "c": ["Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "This is Ike Pross. He's going to solitary. Ooh, solitary. La-di-da.", "c": ["Guard", "Ike"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Welcome to 'Freeing the Artist Within.' Not literally, of course. [Giggling]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "But the prison cafeteria would only give me sauerkraut. [Inmates Groaning] That's depressing.", "c": ["Marge", "Inmates"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Let's let a little sunshine in. [Inmates Groaning]", "c": ["Marge", "Inmates"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Can I smell your dress? [All Laugh] Hey, you show some respect. This one here's not for smellin'.", "c": ["Prisoner", "Inmates", "Jack"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Hey, can I smell your clothes?", "c": ["Dr. Steve"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Your spine is more twisted than Sinbad's take on marriage.", "c": ["Dr. Steve"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Oh, I'd love to. But to be honest... modern medicine has a lousy record of treating the back. We spend too much time on the front.", "c": ["Dr. Steve"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Yeah, there's some neat stuff on the front.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Well, that is our official stance. But between you, me and my golf clubs, they're miracle workers.", "c": ["Dr. Steve"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "There. See how much better that feels? Yes. Much better.", "c": ["Marge", "Sardonicus"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Well, if you really gotta know, I shot a guy named Apu.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Well, you know, lots of people shoot Apu. It's just a hundred-dollar fine now.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "'A Time to Kill.' Titles are hard.", "c": ["Jack", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Huh? Less yakkin', more crackin'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Now, Homer, we don't actually crack backs. It's merely an adjustment. Okay, you're gonna hear a loud cracking sound.", "c": ["Dr. Steve"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Now, I'll need to see you three times a week for, uh, many years.", "c": ["Dr. Steve"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Bart, Sideshow Bob says he'll be seeing you real soon. [Chuckles] That Bob!", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "I might grease the wheels of justice with some cookies.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Not till you finish your sundae. Ohh! [Gulps, Gasps] Is that enough? Two more bites!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "But I've seen this warden turn down brownies- honest to goodness brownies!", "c": ["Someone"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "someone with his talent... belongs on a boardwalk doing caricatures, not behind bars.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Actually he was. He waited with me till the ambulance came then ran like a deer.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Now, which way is Mecca? 'Cause I gotta do a little prayin'. Uh, Mecca? Well, let- Nah! [Laughing] I'm just yanking your chain! [Laughing] I'm Jewish.", "c": ["Jack", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Not trash can, Son- Dr. Homer's Miracle Spine-O-Cylinder! Patent pending.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "perfectly match the contours of the human 'vertebrains.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "You brought a convict to live here near my unpatented idea?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "I seen your idea, and I don't want it. All I need is three squares and a job.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "So, Homer, you think you can fix my sciatica? Hmm. I don't know what that is, so I'm gonna say yes.", "c": ["Patient", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Now go limp. I'm limp. One, two, better not sue.", "c": ["Homer", "Patient"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "My searing leg pain is now a gentle numbness.", "c": ["Patient"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Boy, talk about irony. The A.M.A. Tries to drive you guys out of business. Now you're doing the same to me! Think about the irony.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Not unless you think about the irony!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "It's a small liberal arts college. Very law-abiding. No convicts at all.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Ew! How could anyone consider that making love?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Actually, Marge, it's the third if you count that farm couple.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "That is awesome. Finally, art that doesn't suck.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Yeah. You see, I didn't want to go so cutesy-wootsy. Because- Because it's not my style.", "c": ["Jack", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Don't forget I can send you back where you came from, college boy.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Listen, if you're done with that washing machine, can I make some booze in it?", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Now I can focus on my crippling emotional pain. Oh, Daddy, Daddy, why? Why won't you hug me? You hugged the mailman!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Ah, you saw our bus ad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Forget it, Homer. It's Chiro-town.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "I almost thought he said a school Muriel. [Laughs] Muriel's his sister.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Oh, thank you, Bruce Vilanch. Whoopi would've made it work.", "c": ["Someone"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "No napkin could wipe the crumbs of failure from your mouth!", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "But years from now, people will point to these cuddly little creatures and say... 'That's a Jack Crowley.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "That's what you said about the stuffed peppers, and you lost the young males!", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, I've peed in front of him!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "were it not stuffed with asbestos.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "And you can't believe the foul language in that place.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "We don't have time for guessing games! Nah, let's try it. It might be fun.", "c": ["Lou", "Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Catch the fever, Skinner! [Cackling]", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Marge, this is the God's truth. I burned the mural. But I did not burn Skinner's car.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Uh, i-is prison really like that? Wouldn't know. We only get basic cable.", "c": ["Cop", "Jack"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Yeah, I also like that Sex in the City. Huh! None of those girls look like my wife. [Laughing]", "c": ["Cop"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "A lot of guys in prison say they're gay, but I don't know. They look strong to me.", "c": ["Jack"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 10, "et": "Pokey Mom"}, {"t": "Mmm, good pancakes, Mom. Well, thank you, honey. They come in a squeeze bottle now.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "[Flatulence Sound] Whoo! [Clears Throat] I better put on the silencer. [Silenced Blasts]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "How long has this baking soda been in here? I don't know. It came with the house.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "The absorbed odors of a million meals. Oh, so many flavors! All those tasty memories flooding back.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Dad's having an antacid trip. And I won 50 bucks.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "My doctor says I'm not supposed to go on sprees. What about jags? Jags are fine. Wonderful.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Our wide variety of gum comes in both stick and ball. I'm not really about gum. But I like the whole chewing thing.", "c": ["Store clerk", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "My mom doesn't believe in fabric softener. But she's not around!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "It is in perma-mint condition. If you spill soda on it, the drops fly off harmlessly onto lesser comics.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Film reel labeled 'Alternate Ending: Luke's Father is Chewbacca'", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Don't do it, lady! That stuff's worth thousands! Yeah! He's ripping you off! Well, if this is valuable, then back to the leaky basement it goes!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse", "Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Son, I know it hurts. I still remember my first lifetime banning.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "And you are banned for life from all of my performances and TV specials! But I can still see your movies, right? [Groans]", "c": ["Gallagher", "Young Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm Shaquille O'Neal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Sorry, I had a really big dinner. Whoo! Dinner! But I'm sure one more french fry wouldn't hurt.", "c": ["Tom Savini"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Oh, please. I saw Paul Lynde do that same hackneyed trick on Bewitched.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "To the gag, I will give a D-plus. As for the workmanship on the hand, it- Oh. [Groaning]", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Stop your laughing! You're all banned! Banned I tell you!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Can't go on describing symptoms much longer. [Groans]", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Can't go on describing symptoms much longer.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Young man, you've had what we call a 'cardiac episode.' Worst episode ever.", "c": ["Doctor", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.98, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "I'm just kidding. But you would be dead.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Oh, dear Lord! We call that profession 'the widow-maker!' Or we would if any of the proprietors were married.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Well, the Super Friends. Well, you should get some friends who aren't printed on paper. What? You mean action figures?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Two 10-year-olds running my store? I mean-Wait. What is this? Bizarro World?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "A carton of malted milk balls, one box confectioner's sugar, a can of chocolate frosting- That's just his shopping list. No. It's his instructions.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Uh-uh. You gotta be 40 inches tall for the adult section. Please? Okay. But get on your tippie toes.", "c": ["Bart", "Kid"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Mark down the Poochie crap. Then unstick all the Supergirls.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Get out and take your Sacajawea dollars with ya. I'll give you till three. One- [Body Thuds]", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer, who's the manatee?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Very well. I will have a shot of cranberry schnapps. [Chuckles] Uh, these, they're just painted on there.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Beer is the nectar of the nitwit. Hey, you knockin' beer? Nobody bad-mouths Duff! Ah, a piece a crap.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Barflies"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Oh, now he's ragging on air conditioners. Hey, they keep us cool in the summer, pal.", "c": ["Barfly"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "If I wanted to hear mindless droning, I'd befriend an air conditioner.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Is there a word in Klingon for 'loneliness.' Ah, yes. Garl dack!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Himself"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Tough break, toots. I need a man who answers to no one. A full manager. Hotchie-machie.", "c": ["Eric Reynolds"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "A superhero with glasses! Oh, yeah. Thick glasses. Kinda like yours.", "c": ["Bart", "Eric Reynolds"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "So how many you need- 500, 600? 600 sounds good. Aw, that's too bad. There's a price break at a thousand. Oh, man! I'll take 2,000.", "c": ["Eric Reynolds", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Well, pardon me, Oldie Hawn. Why, you ill-mannered sack of crap! Oh, goody. Now I know whatever happened to Baby Jane.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Agnes"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Oh, goody. Now I know whatever happened to Baby Jane.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Biclops? Who's his girlfriend, Lois Lame?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "How could you spend all our money on a comic book published by LensCrafters?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Birds won't even use them in their nests.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Oh, look. You're getting cranky. You haven't had your juice. Well, my straw broke off in the carton.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "I have feelings! I'm a human boy, just like you! It's a vacuum cleaner, Milhouse. Whatever!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Alien Autopsy. Illegal Alien Autopsy. Godfather III: Good Version.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Good Lord, Mother! I can see your... figure. Oh, you see a lot more when you do my daily mole check.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Agnes"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Well, in that case, my neighbor Homer released a radioactive ape in my house. It's taken over the whole top floor. It wasn't Dad's fault. The ape tricked him.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "[Drunkenly] Well, what do you mean I can't take off my sweater? I'm hot!", "c": ["Mister Rogers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Her sneer just lights up my day. And we're always finishing each other's insults.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Sunsets. Thank God there's only one of these a day. Could it be any more orange?", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Springfield will be bombed at will by all friendly nations to calibrate their missiles. [All] Yea!", "c": ["Narrator", "Crowd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Now for total security, I will terminate the cameraman. - [Groans] Thanks a lot, Steve!", "c": ["Narrator", "Cameraman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "No, sir. We were just exhibiting them for profit without permission.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "But the owner is in more hot water than- A Japanese tea bag? Why don't you lay off the Asians, Lou?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Nobody'll buy those. Your store smells. Now kiss me, funny face.", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "But we'll reduce the sentence if you put your pants on... fast!", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Will you wait for me? Are you crazy? My bones are half dust.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Agnes"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "Look, if you want me to turn, just point. Ow! It's one way! Ow! Now what was that for? Ow! Ow! Ow!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 11, "et": "Worst Episode Ever"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Homer screaming musical notes to 'Mary Had A Little Lamb'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Ever notice after dialysis... you always get the munchies?", "c": ["elderly comedian"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "He's saying the stuff we all forgot.", "c": ["audience member"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "And you know what I can't open? Cabinets.", "c": ["elderly comedian"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "You know what else scares me? Everything.", "c": ["elderly comedian"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "What's new, pussycat / Ow, ow, ow, ow", "c": ["elderly performer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "since Abe's already standing here, what the heck", "c": ["announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Wow! A free auto. / No, keep reading. / Oh.", "c": ["Abe", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Hey, let's get this down to the funeral home before they try to back out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Sir, we prefer the term 'casket' to coffin... and 'monument' to tombstone.", "c": ["funeral director"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "What funny names. [imitating airplane] He's heading into Dead Man's Curve!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "[Chuckling] Oh, the living.", "c": ["funeral director"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "That thing got picture-in-picture?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Aw, geez. How come they never call traveling anymore?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "optional 'weeping widow' service", "c": ["funeral director"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "God prefers people who travel in style", "c": ["funeral director"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "If you cheapskate me into hell, I'll haunt you good.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Imagine this when you're sittin' on the john. [Gibberish]", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Or you could just toss him in the woods and let the wolves carry him off.", "c": ["funeral director"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "We're gonna go with the wolves.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Dad, I love you this much. But that's just under $900.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "It'll consume as much cement as a regulation-size tennis court.", "c": ["funeral director"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "I bet you didn't see that comin'.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "try telling that to 'Killy McGee' up there", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Then what's the one where the chicks whale on each other? / Foxy boxing? / Yes! That's what I wanted.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "I hear Mel Brooks has one. I mean Sir Mel Brooks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Hey, you got a tennis court? / Keep walkin', Flanders. / Will do. / Faster.", "c": ["Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Sorry. I grunted way too early. [Chuckles]", "c": ["Carl or Lenny"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "we never knew nobody with their own tennis rink.", "c": ["Carl or Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "So what happens now? Is the food free, or do we pay someone?", "c": ["Carl or Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "That's how you learn- By asking, you dumb-ass.", "c": ["Carl or Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "But the real winners here are Marge's hors d'oeuvres.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "'I guess you could say it's my racket.' / I guess you could say I'm Iraqi.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Are you here to make a bust of some kind?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "checking to make sure you're having a crime-free morning", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "What's that, Lou? Lettin' that tennis court go to waste.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "he had it converted into a human chessboard", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Hey, Burns has been gone for a while. Let's make a run for it.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Hey, check it out. I'm surfing the net.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "John Rocker, O.J. Simpson, Dorf", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Yeah, but this time we got the right address.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "You mean the L.A. Clippers of backyard tennis?", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "They're easier to beat than a suspect in shackles.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "That's a joke, Lou- It's on the Simpsons and their easy 'beatability.'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "No! Aw, this home testing kit saved me a fortune.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Well, that's bad news for Dingbat Charlie. He's gonna be crushed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Oh. Well, that's bad news for Dingbat Charlie. He's gonna be crushed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "I'll practice till my elbow is swollen and discolored.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Time of death, 10:15. [Laughs]", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Now, that's the kind of nagging I can live with.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "everyone's gonna think you're playing in the tournament. / I am playing in the tournament. / It's gonna be tough without a partner.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Dude, I think the lady's made her decision.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Don't touch me. Your hands feel like salad tongs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "We can wipe out B.C. in our lifetime. / I don't care about B.C. I care about M.E. - My enjoyment.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Well, maybe five bucks would refresh my memory.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Ugh! Who pays for that wedding?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "This session's over. / This session's under. / Good-bye. / Bad-bye.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Darling, you're so much 'handsomer' than my first husband.", "c": ["Marge in Homer's dream"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Now serve. / Ew! Dad, I don't want to enter the tournament just to hurt Mom.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Your backhand looks like a rusty gate.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Dear Lisa. Psych! Psych, psych, psych. Signed, super psych.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "This? Oh, it's just fluid collecting. [Sloshing]", "c": ["tennis player"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "I hope I don't get arrested for... racket earring. / Aw, what do you want? I'm not gonna do 'A' material for charity.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Listen, I need a new doubles partner. My little girl's a lead weight.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "You're dumping your own daughter? / Yeah, but only to crush my wife and son.", "c": ["Venus Williams", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Sorry. That's Homer and Venus Simpson.", "c": ["announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Let's just say I'm replacing you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "[Groaning] I just ate a personal pizza.", "c": ["Serena Williams"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "I'm 'un-dumpable.' / [Man] Yoink. / My tennis stick.", "c": ["Bart", "Andre Agassi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "Which one am I, Serena or Venus? / You're Andre. I'm Serena. / You're a girl.", "c": ["Homer", "Andre Agassi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "It's better to watch stuff than to do stuff.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 12, "et": "Tennis The Menace"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Oh, Doctor, I'm crazy! [Crying]", "c": ["Unknown Patient"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "And you stalled for 20 minutes. Yes. Yes, I did. I was told to.", "c": ["Virgil Sinclair", "Moe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Well, it all starts when a 'nulecule' comes out of its nest.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "The answer is bonbon!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Bonbon, eh, Moe? Is that your ultimate response? - Yeah-huh. - Ohh. You are... correct!", "c": ["Virgil Sinclair", "Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Aw, this quiz show crap is just a fad.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "All we're saying is be dangerous, but warm. And edgy-cute.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "These ferkachted network notes. Can you believe this?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "I don't need 12 suits telling me which way to pee.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "For 'pee,' could you substitute 'whiz'? I don't know. That could upset the Cheez Whiz people.", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "You can kill me, but two more will take my place!", "c": ["Network Executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Well, I think it's good for a show to go off the air before it becomes stale and repetitive.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Maggie shot Mr. Burns again! [Cricket Chirping]", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "not seen since the small plane crash that killed the Banana Splits.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Hey, Kent, are you guys still having that contest where we guess what city the weather girl's in? - [Chuckles] That was eight years ago. - Is it Pittsburgh?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Kent, the young people today, they think comedy is dirty words. It's not. It's words that sound dirty, like 'mukluk.'", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Oh, you know, I had a thing for Judge Judy and blank tape was 3.99. What would you do?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "The show didn't really get funny until we fired Sideshow Bob and hired whozits.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Oh, honestly. At Chino they get to stay up till 9:00.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "consists mainly of prisoners who club me with books.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "These are from the new Tom Clancy. Although it's less painful than reading him. Am I right, folks?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Hey, no fair. You got long legs. I got these little bitty hooves.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "You want to live in the box? Cost you two bucks a day.", "c": ["Raphael"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Revenge, huh? Half the guys in here are working on that.", "c": ["Storage Neighbor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "To be fair, most of those people were Bart Simpson.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Good luck. That kid's like the Road Runner. He won't go down.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Quel dommage.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "I believe the clan is Graham-Monroe.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm not afraid of you. Every time we tangle, you wind up in jail. I'm 6 and 0.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Rakes. My old archenemy. I thought I was your archenemy.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "I have a life outside of you, Bart.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Krusty? That's the one man I would never kill!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "That's it. Oh, damn it! Where'd it go? I needed that for laundry!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Let it entrance you with its twirliness. Twirliness.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "I didn't say anything about command. You're in my power. Say so. I am in your power. Excellent. Actually, go back to command. No, power. Power.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop. I was at the flower shop. Oh, yeah. Uh, I was at the flower shop too. Yep, getting drunk at the old flower shop.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Yes! Yes! Work the groin!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "These days, it's all aluminum this and George W. That.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Someone please give me a job. I've lowered my quote to eight million.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Look at me. I'm Kaputnik, the Russian satellite. [Gasps] Oh, the Bolshoi's doing the Nutcracker in my pants!", "c": ["Young Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Back then you couldn't say 'pants' on TV. I was banned for 10 years.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "The ferkachted doors are stuck! Don't just stare, Arte. Help me!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Oh, look. It was all a bookkeeping snafu.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Ah, kettle chips. The perfect side dish for revenge.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Well, Krusty, this is your Waterloo. Soon you'll be Napol\u00e9on Blownapart. Ew. Terrible.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Leo (agent)"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Ew. Terrible. Oh, hush up, Leo!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Leo"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Sideshow Bob, I'm sorry.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Oh, no! My boy bomb!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Just some network executives. [Deep Voices] We have notes. Have you thought about Dave Chappelle? Destroy!", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Executives"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Will ya stop with the 'sorry'? Every time you try to kill me, my ratings go through the roof, you nut!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "We are good together, Krusty. It makes me sad that you're getting the death penalty.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Okay, where do you wanna do this thing? Isn't it customary to have a trial? Oh, a wise guy, huh?", "c": ["Lou", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "Mukluk.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 13, "et": "Day Of The Jackanapes"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams] [Alarm Wailing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Jesse Owens humiliates Adolph Hitler by outracing his zeppelin", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Bob Beamon shatters world long jump record by jumping so far he causes vehicle crashes", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "[Gasps] Thirty-eight! That's roughly my age.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Oh, please. You get exhausted watching The Twilight Zone marathon.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "[Laughs] I'm a regular Billy Crystal. - You got that right.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "I'll do your job for a day, and you do mine. Then we'll see who has it tougher.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "commemorating the time Jebediah Springfield ran across six states to avoid his creditors", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Anti-chafing nipple tape, check, check, and check. [Squishing Sound]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "now get outta here before I change my mind", "c": ["Race Official"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "[Gasps] I hit the wall! This is so painful.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Hey, I got my second wind! [Gasps] Another wall! I just- Whoo-hoo! Third wind.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Faster, rickshaw driver! Faster! - Ow! - Sir, the whip isn't helping. - Silence! You call yourself Chinese?", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Rickshaw Driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "No one can outrun The Flash! [Gasps] Curses! One of my super foes has set a trap for me.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "That's not Grampa. Dad's just dehydrated.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "But only one will win the grand prize: A walking tour of Springfield.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "He's running on sheer pluck, moxie and grit. All of which he'll be tested for after the race.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Hey, I 'winna' the race! Viva Italia! - I love-a you all. I use up all of my English.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "I got a better idea. Let's have a fun run... on his trachea.", "c": ["Runner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Mob, stranger. Mob, stranger. Stranger!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Well, thank you for letting me chill in your crib. - And thank you for assuming we're hip.", "c": ["L.T. Smash", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Marge, it's not the singing that brings in the Sacagaweas.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "My dream is to be a rock star! - And my dream is to get rid of Bart. - But- How many lives must you ruin?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "What up, 'G' Money? - Who's next? Ralph Wiggum? - Whee! I'm a pop sensation.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart", "Ralph"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Wait. These are just guys from school. Who's next? Ralph Wiggum?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "You call that a flirt? I'm not melting!", "c": ["L.T. Smash"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Isn't this song a little boastful? - No one told me there was gonna be boasting.", "c": ["Lisa", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "[Off-key] # Party Posse # - Ew! - Thank you, NASA.", "c": ["Kids", "L.T. Smash"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Now here's a song that your Principal Skinner doesn't want us to play. - That's not true. This assembly was my idea.", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "I like your brand of inoffensive pop rock. - Screw you, man! We're gonna play it anyway.", "c": ["Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Orange drink? What? Do you live with your mama? - She lives with me.", "c": ["Unknown", "Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Orange drink? What? Do you live with your mama? / She lives with me.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "I'm wearing a bathrobe and I'm not even sick.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Really? You saw our B.F. N? - I can't believe I'm meeting Milhouse. Word!", "c": ["Bart", "N'Sync member"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Crowd Taser? - Yeah. It's perfect for getting through the fans to your limousine.", "c": ["Milhouse", "N'Sync member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Dudes, we gotta go. Our clothes are getting a little out-of-date. - To the Bandana Republic!", "c": ["N'Sync"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "It doesn't mean anything. It's like 'rama lama ding dong' or 'give peace a chance.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "None of those girls has had three kids, I can tell you that.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Otto, what are you doing? - I don't know. I just got an urge to join the navy.", "c": ["Lisa", "Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Otto, what are you doing? / I don't know. I just got an urge to join the navy.", "c": ["Student", "Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "You're being brainwashed! - Yeah, probably. 'Yvan eht nioj.'", "c": ["Lisa", "Otto"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Subliminal messages? Do you have any idea how insane that sounds? - Is that a navy tattoo? - A navy tattoo? Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?", "c": ["L.T. Smash", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's right. Lieutenant L.T. Smash.", "c": ["L.T. Smash"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "[Moans] How could you soil the good name of Star Blitzzz Promotions?", "c": ["L.T. Smash"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Going back to Elvis. Then there was Sgt. Pepper's, the Captain & Tennille, and the Kiss army.", "c": ["L.T. Smash"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "It's a three-pronged attack. Subliminal, liminal, and super liminal. - Super liminal? - I'll show you. Hey, you! Join the navy! - Uh, yeah, all right. - I'm in.", "c": ["L.T. Smash", "Lisa", "Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Are you sure someone hasn't been bitten by the jealousy bug? [Chuckles] Here comes the jealousy bug! Gonna get ya! Gonna get ya! - Hey! Stop! Cut it out. You're a grown man.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Good afternoon, and welcome to the U.S.S. Sea Spanker!", "c": ["Navy Officer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Ow! Hot, hot, hot!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Groovy, dude. - Burn down the barbershops! - I hate America!", "c": ["L.T. Smash", "Crowd"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "The hippie fantasy again? / They're getting less frequent, sir.", "c": ["Admiral", "L.T. Smash"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "You won't say it's crazy when you see next week's issue of Mad magazine.", "c": ["Admiral"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "When this satirical bombshell hits the stands tomorrow, your band will have as much recruiting power as a wax apple.", "c": ["Admiral"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "So, what songs did I miss? - Dad, L.T.'s gone crazy!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Not Mad! That's our nation's largest mental illness-themed humor magazine!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Why don't we call it 'Everybody Hates Raymond?'", "c": ["Mad Magazine Writer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "We can't let L.T. Blow up Mad! Tina Brown was just starting to turn it around.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "We heard what you said. - Yeah! Heard it old school.", "c": ["N'Sync"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "I can't read. - I can't sing without dancing.", "c": ["Ralph", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Nobody pouts going into a jiggy. - Yeah. That's stupid. - I want to twirl!", "c": ["N'Sync member", "Nelson", "Ralph"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Aw, man. We could've been on the cover of Mad. - They called me 'Smelson!' Ha-ha!", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Smelson. It's funny 'cause you smell.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "You know, we've had a lot of fun tonight at the expense of the U.S. Navy. But they're out there every day protecting us from Godzilla. - And don't forget pirates. - And jellyfish.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Those whack invertebrates will sting you, old school!", "c": ["N'Sync member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "D'oh! I can't believe I'm meeting Milhouse.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 14, "et": "New Kids On The Blecch"}, {"t": "Bart and Lisa's synchronized 'Meh' response and spelling it out for Homer", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Maggie drives away in car, Homer gets dragged behind making 'Ow!' sounds", "c": ["Maggie", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Abraham Lincoln animatronic malfunctioning mid-speech", "c": ["Lincoln robot"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Lisa's robotic monotone voice: 'I am a robot. Do what I say' and washing machine variant", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer builds 'healthy apple' out of ham cubes", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Guest screaming about leeches in block water", "c": ["park guest"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's defeatist life advice: 'Welcome to real life, Lisa. You can't fight city hall'", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer admits he tells his children this defeatist message constantly", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer ironically announces 'The Simpsons are going to Blockoland!' as they leave", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Gift shop clerk's philosophy: 'You can't fight the souvenir industry. We're too powerful'", "c": ["gift shop clerk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer threatens violence then gives the clerk a music box souvenir", "c": ["Homer", "gift shop clerk"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer accidentally helps bullies beat up their victim's shirt fire", "c": ["Homer", "bullies", "victim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Victim calls Homer an idiot for stopping fire assistance, Homer: 'My heart was in the right place, jerk!'", "c": ["Homer", "victim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's negotiation: 'Please, ugly is such a smelly word'", "c": ["Homer", "girl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's sales pitch: 'Bart has inner beauty, like you'd find in a rodent'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's brutal honesty to the girl about her flaws: braces, dresses like a kid, aging", "c": ["Homer", "girl"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer threatens to unscrew jar lids as intimidation tactic", "c": ["Homer", "salon worker"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's accidental business consulting about profit margins being 'razor thin'", "c": ["Homer", "salon owner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's humble response trailing off: 'The satisfaction of helping another human being is all the thanks l- et cetera'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's specific boast about giving wrong directions: 'that's the kind of guy I am this week'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer gave directions 'even though I didn't know the way, 'cause that's the kind of guy I am this week'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's geographic confusion about baseball office locations", "c": ["Homer", "executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Executive's panicked response to Homer seeing wrong door and room contents", "c": ["executive", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer discovers 'Albuquerque Isotopes' merchandise and evidence", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Executive's terrible lying: 'It's not anything. It has no purpose.'", "c": ["executive"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's easy bribery: 'Well, okay. But you can't silence Homer Simpson!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Duffman's entrance and corporate beer promotion", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's confused awakening and swing relationship: 'But I love the swing'", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "'Joel Duffman, The Newsly Times' - obvious fake journalist identity", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Fake footage of Homer with 'pants on fire' as evidence he's a liar", "c": ["Mr. Duff", "reporter"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's philosophical distinction about when he minds being called a liar", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Marge's observation: 'Homie, you couldn't keep up a hunger strike. You eat while you brush your teeth.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer eating sausage while denying he can't stop eating", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's immediate hunger strike breakdown with crying and eating", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Lisa's gift of Mike Farrell's core beliefs book and Homer's reaction to hating Wayne Rogers", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Kid calling father 'Weekend Dad' and being corrected", "c": ["kid", "father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Seymour and Edna's food flirtation interrupted by Homer's desperation", "c": ["Skinner", "Edna", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's hunger strike song with Jesus comparison disclaimer", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Dr. Hibbert's explanation: 'That's his stomach eating itself'", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Duffman's third-person corporate speak: 'Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem'", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Reference to 'busty woman who ran out on the field and farted at the ballplayers'", "c": ["Executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Stadium announcer's lie: 'He's on a hunger strike till the 'Topes win the pennant!'", "c": ["announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's weak correction being misheard as 'Go, 'Topes!'", "c": ["Homer", "announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Excessive food vendor announcements torturing starving Homer", "c": ["vendors", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's body deterioration: 'I'm down to a B cup!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Baseball executives' casual attitude: 'Death is a part of baseball. Oh, yeah. The main part.'", "c": ["executives"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Using sprinklers to make unconscious Homer appear to move", "c": ["executives"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Cesar Chavez appearing as Cesar Romero due to Homer's ignorance", "c": ["Homer", "Cesar Chavez/Romero"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Replacement attraction: 'Paint-drinking Pete!'", "c": ["announcer", "Pete"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's weakened speech: 'Me so hungy'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Duffman's moral awakening: 'New feelings brewing in Duffman! What would Jesus do?'", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's triumphant line: 'The truth never tasted so good!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Albuquerque mayor's confusion about football vs baseball: 'They'll play what I tell them to play'", "c": ["mayor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 15, "et": "Hungry Hungry Homer"}, {"t": "Itchy and Scratchy breakfast commercial with violence-themed cereal", "c": ["Itchy", "Scratchy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Pink daggers! Green hatchets! Yellow ice picks! And Stabby-Oh's are part of this nutritious breakfast.", "c": ["Itchy", "Scratchy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "But thanks to Stabby-Oh's, most of me is still in bed.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "That ad campaign may have crossed a line. Ah, what can you do? Sex sells.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "But I gotta spit. You can spit on the bus.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Aw, darn. Looks like we'll have to stay home today.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "I'm not racing! It's me, Marge Simpson. No. You eat my dust! Hoo-hoo!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Whoa! It's like Speed 2... only with a bus instead of a boat.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "I won. Don't take that away from me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Red hair? What's she trying to pull? Those shoes look Canadian. She'll never fit in.", "c": ["School kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "One Hour Dry Cleaner? Man, that's fast.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Your baby is dead.", "c": ["Baby-proofer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Sorry about that. But the truth is... your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead!", "c": ["Baby-proofer"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "That's a pretty big caboose for a baby. Homer, don't be-Wow, that is huge.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "I always pictured the kids dying in the living room.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "That's the price of the clipboard. Here's your estimate.", "c": ["Baby-proofer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Yeah! She thinks she's Babe: Pig in the City.", "c": ["School kid"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Not as long as I keep taking these.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Well, lots of people like jazz fusion. Okay. That's in the maybe file.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "They're not dolls. They're aspiration figures.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "She's not afraid of bunnies. She will be.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "I like jazz. Milhouse? She got you too? Yeah, but it's not so bad. I'm standing on Ralph.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Lisa", "Ralph"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "We're a totem pole.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "How are you supposed to dial? Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Baby could order poison. Oh, that's ridiculous. [Phone rings] Poison Delivery Service. A gift basket of poisons is on its way.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Poison delivery"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Oh, this is so funny. We were just talking about moving into protection.", "c": ["Nelson", "Jimbo", "Dolph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "You sure this was done by hand? Yeah. She's a real purist.", "c": ["Bully", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "'She'? Sorry. We don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch. And sometimes we fall in love.", "c": ["Bullies"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "She? Sorry. We don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch. And sometimes we fall in love.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Did you know it predates agriculture?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "That's like asking the square root of a million. No one will ever know.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "No more Shiva-related pokings. Yeah. And, you know, down the line... you might want to switch to a nice, round Buddha.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "But we are Hindu. So am I, but I don't get all huffy about it.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "'Tis a mighty puddle of puke.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Aye. Willie's a stinkin' liar.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. That roll of towels is nearing the end! Ach! It's on double red stripe!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Thank you, Drederick Tatum. That was truly a K.O. 'Knockout Oration.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "You really don't want that. Trust me.", "c": ["Drederick Tatum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Nelson, what are you doing? I don't know. I can't help myself.", "c": ["Professor Frink", "Nelson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Men. Boo! Canceled.", "c": ["TV host", "Audience"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "You can dance You can dance Everybody look at your pants", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Look at this baby. Not a scratch on him. And I got boat payments. The dream is over. Shut her down, boys.", "c": ["Baby business owner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Please, skin your knees. Put dice up your nose. Let cats sleep on your face!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "That's quite an act to follow, Lisa. I know. And the crowd is so distinguished. The inventor of the walkie-talkie is out there. Where? Third row, near the aisle. Ooh. You're right. And that's not his wife.", "c": ["Announcer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Pi is exactly three!", "c": ["Science fair moderator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "She's just a little girl. In the larval stage. Silly. Let's not listen.", "c": ["Scientists"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "I call it 'Poindextrose.' Whoo-hoo! Simpsons rule! Sorry.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Are you mad, Frink? Put down that science pole!", "c": ["Scientist"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Actually, it's just ordinary salad dressing. So that's where that went.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "A gift certificate from JCPenney? Yes. You'll love their slacks.", "c": ["Judge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "No, Dad. Didn't you listen to anything I said? Just to get some attention.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Don't worry. She'll punch herself out. Suck fist, Dr. Dork!", "c": ["Homer", "Francine"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "Someone's gonna sleep well tonight. What a cutie. Look at her pound that nerd.", "c": ["Bystanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 16, "et": "Bye Bye Nerdy"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "If your mother wasn't so fancy... we could shop at the gas station like normal people.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "I need this candy for school. Candy class.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "But get five bags in case we eat four on the way home.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "My teacher said I need cupcakes- cupcakes to learn.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "You know, I always felt sorry for Marge, having to do the shopping... but this is kind of fun.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Yeah! I wish Maggie had to go to the emergency room more often.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Hmm. I never heard of a baby swallowing a magazine before- And I'm a doctor.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "I don't know if it matters, but it was a Time magazine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Does that matter? - Uh-oh. This could be dangerous. - What? What? Syrian hard-liners are gaining influence.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "I've already bagged it by color and in order of each item's discovery by man.", "c": ["Bag Boy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "The customer's always right. That's what everybody likes about us. Now, mush!", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "You tell him, Jumbo. And you- Start over. I want everything in one bag. But I don't want the bag to be heavy.", "c": ["Another Customer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "What are you, the possible police? Just do it.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, watch what you're doin' there, sack monkey. You're bruising my Dura-Log.", "c": ["Another Customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Hurry up! I can't stand here jabbing you all day.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Bag boys have feelings too, you know. - No, you don't.", "c": ["Bag Boy", "Customer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "On behalf of Sack Stuffers local 199... I'm callin' a strike.", "c": ["Bag Boy Union Rep"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Oh, the bag boys are on strike. Ooh! I'm shakin'.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "If I can have this rubber stick.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Pledging to honor the bag boys' strike... are the Brotherhood of Fruit Packers and Unpackers... the Shelf-Dusters' Union... and the Unattractive Waitresses of America.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Kiss my grits!", "c": ["Unattractive Waitress"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "No bag boys are gonna stop Lenny... from hosting a casual get-together. - Casual? I can taste that get-together now.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "SulfurJerky? Cream of Toast? Where do we get all this crap?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Most of it was sent by relatives who couldn't see very well.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Oh, that Amos Burke made his own rules.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 3.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Very old animal crackers! Mmm. Turbulent.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Find the golden giraffe, and we'll send you and your family to Africa.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Africa? They're bound to have food there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "I want to shoot a lion in the face, fight Muhammad Ali... and ride in a convertible with two happy zebras.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "We don't even make animal crackers anymore. We make household poisons and Christmas lights.", "c": ["Company Representative"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Your box made promises of a 'vacational' nature... and I expect you to live up to them.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Sir, with all due respect, an old box of cookies is not a legal contract.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Ow! My eye! - Is that our fault? - We're in big, big trouble.", "c": ["Homer", "Company Representatives"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "On the plane I'm gonna need two seats- for the twins.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Evil is coming. - What shall we do, N'gungo? - You are N'gungo now. Aaah!", "c": ["African Villagers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Attention, passengers. Please prepare for our landing in Tanzania. I'm sorry. It is now called 'New Zanzibar.' Excuse me. It is now called 'Pepsi Presents New Zanzibar.'", "c": ["Flight Attendant"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Isn't that cute? A bush baby. - Where? - Aaah! Shoo! Shoo!", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Who's Muntu? - He is our leader. He seized power in a bloodless coup- all smotherings.", "c": ["Homer", "Kitenge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Just like Jimmy Carter.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "When do we get to see the animals? In the morning, little one. Now, good night, and don't let the bedbugs paralyze.", "c": ["Lisa", "Kitenge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "All right! I got another one. - Hey, you didn't see a warthog. I'm looking at one right now.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Wow! It just rolled over to 10,000.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Wait. Rhinos don't come from eggs. - What did you just see, Lisa? - I know, but- - What did you just see?", "c": ["Lisa", "Kitenge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Look, Mother, by that tree- Cheetah. - Mmm. He doesn't look so fast to me.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Glibby glup gloopy, Nibby nobby nooby, La lee lo, lo, lo", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Now, honey, poachers are nature's way of keeping the balance. Whenever there are so many species that people get confused and angry... a poacher is born.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "I've got more bones than that guy. If you're trying to impress me, you've failed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "By the way, what kind of blood is this? - Cow. - [All Gasp, Laugh]", "c": ["Homer", "Chief"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Bart! I told you not to get your lip 'disked.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "This song has been going on for hours. Yeah. It's like the Allman Brothers.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "A hungry, hungry hippo. Aaah!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Quick! Into the river. Hippos hate water. - No, they don't. They-Aaah!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "The left! Go to the left!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Being eaten by a crocodile... is just like going to sleep... in a giant blender.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Now, according to animal crackers, there's no river here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Oh. You think they settled that bag boy strike yet?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Oh, isn't that sweet? He named it after his wife. - No, Dr. Bushwell is a woman. - Well, now I've heard everything.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "Yeah. Thanks for the grub. - Grubs. - Whatever.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Bushwell"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "So I notice your home smells of feces. - Yes? - And not just monkey feces either.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Bushwell"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "You must be the most boring woman on earth. - Possibly, but- I mean, I knew scientists wasted their lives, but geez!", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Bushwell"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "So like us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "The chimps are running a diamond mine.", "c": ["Greenpeace Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "She's one of the 10 richest chimp researchers in the world.", "c": ["Greenpeace Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "I haven't said anything for a while. Hmm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "These are just pictures of monkeys from famous movies.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "You don't understand the crushing loneliness and greed.", "c": ["Dr. Bushwell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "I'll give you diamonds. Everybody wants diamonds. Diamonds will make everything all better. Diamonds! Diamonds!", "c": ["Dr. Bushwell"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "What happened to President Muntu? - I don't want to talk about it.", "c": ["Homer", "Kitenge"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "He got overthrown! Now he's just a stinkin' flight attendant.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 17, "et": "Simpson Safari"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams] - Whee! - Whoo-hoo! - Yeah! - [Groans] D'oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Son of a diddly!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "You know I like my breakfast fried or chicken-fried.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "It's a healthy cereal from Europe. M\u00fceslix! [All Shuddering]", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "They also make Juice-lix.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "That's Milhouse. And it sounds like he has big news!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Meet Linguo, the grammar robot. I built him all by myself.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Me love beer. / I love beer. / Oh, he loves beer. Here, little fella.", "c": ["Homer", "Linguo", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I thought he was a party robot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Oh! This is why I can't have nice things.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Homer wants a brownie. I'm gonna get one. / Coming in from the left. / Or is it the right? Look out for the reach-around!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "He shoots, he sc- [Screams] My thumb!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Sorry doesn't put thumbs on the hand, Marge!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Reattach a thumb? This isn't Gattaca!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "9-1-1. This better be good.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Attempted murder? You'll burn for this- burn in jail!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "123 Fake Street. Got it.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "And Harry Potter and all his wizard friends went straight to hell for practicing witchcraft.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "If the doctor asks why you cut it off, you caught me in bed with four beautiful women.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "My Ferrari! I had to do awful things to pay for her.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "But I have finger insurance! / A thumb is not a finger.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Well, I could cut off the other thumb for a sense of symmetry.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Hibbert's really losing it. We're going to Dr. Nick's.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Just stick the old eye gouger in the pickle brine. That'll keep your thumb fresh and delicious.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Well, I really shouldn't, what with my massive blood loss and all. Although I do like the occasional beer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Did you ever see that Blue Man Group? Total rip-off of the Smurfs. And the Smurfs- They suck!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "You and me share a common infirmity. If anyone ever tells you a hog won't eat a finger, they's lyin'.", "c": ["Country driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Inflammable means flammable? What a country!", "c": ["Country driver"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Somebody done 'stolded' my wheels!", "c": ["Country driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Say good-bye to your brother.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Linguo... is... dead. [Powering Off]", "c": ["Linguo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.47, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Lie still. / I knew that. Just testing. / Sentence fragment. / 'Sentence fragment' is also a sentence fragment.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Linguo", "Linguo"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Must conserve battery power. [Powers Off]", "c": ["Linguo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Idiot! You almost ran over a viewer! And she's in our key demo!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Huh? This isn't Miss Hoover's class. / I do not know this Mademoiselle Hoover of which you speak.", "c": ["Lisa", "French Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "What's happening? Where am I? / Sacre bleu! What a foolish question! You are at West Springfield Elementary School. / West Springfield? I'm at the wrong school!", "c": ["Lisa", "French Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "I guess they didn't have enough money to hire I.M. Pei. / Oh. You know about I.M. Pei?", "c": ["Lisa", "Thelonious"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "My name's Thelonious. / As in Monk? / Yes. The esoteric appeal is worth the beatings.", "c": ["Thelonious", "Lisa", "Thelonious"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "No can do, doll face. I got an informant wearing a wire. Just like on Nash Bridges.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Why, I'd be delighted to sell you some illegally smuggled goods.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "My bad. I can't work my answering machine either.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Abracathumbra!", "c": ["Country driver"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Dang! You could be one of them TV magic queers.", "c": ["Country driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "This is where I come to cry.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Bottle rockets, frog launchers, Weeping Mamas. Tijuana Toilet Crackers!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Don't worry. It's inflammable.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Okay, drop the knife, Stabitha!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "I can't go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Yeah. They'll pass you around like- Well, like currency, like you said.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "'Hootie and the Blowfish'? / Yeah. It's cheaper than blank tape.", "c": ["Bart", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "'Hootie and the Blowfish'? / Yeah. It's cheaper than blank tape.", "c": ["Bart", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Bad grammar overload! Error! Error! [Explosion]", "c": ["Linguo"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "He once pulled a slug out of my arm and inserted it into a stoolie's brain.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Boy, this sure was one crazy day.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "Boy, this sure was one crazy day.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 18, "et": "Trilogy Of Error"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Ice cream at church? I'm intrigued, yet suspicious.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Blessed Virgin Berry, Command-mint, Bible Gum", "c": ["Church worker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Unitarian ice cream - There's nothing here. - Exactly.", "c": ["Church worker", "Customer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "One Tower of Babel and build it to heaven. To heaven! Oh.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "I've created the first intra-bovine ice-cream maker. It makes use of all four stomachs.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "I'll have the darkety kind.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "[Moos] [Groans] Ivan Reitman!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Give me 50 c.c.'s of hot fudge stat!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "They call her the Christian Madonna... RachelJordan!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "[Stammering] I didn't have a crush on her.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "He can't admit he likes her till he's sure she likes him back. And there's only one way to find out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Does Rachel like Ned? It says I have cooties. Flanders has cooties! Flanders has cooties!", "c": ["Bart", "Kids"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "That was great. I can't believe she found a rhyme for Hezekiah.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "We both like plain vanilla with nothin' on it. Actually, all the toppings were gone.", "c": ["Ned", "Rachel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Ants are crawling in my mouth, and I don't care.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "All you do is change 'Jesus' to 'baby.'", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Oh, she wants to have coffee sometime! I can hear her, Homer! He can hear you, Rachel!", "c": ["Homer", "Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Why don't you just stay at Ned's place? My place? What would the neighbors think? We're the neighbors, and we don't think.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Now, wait just a Maude-gone minute here!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Well, you've certainly got a theme going.", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Oh, uh, could you sleep on my side? I'm trying to preserve Maude's indentation.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "How about that? It says 'Maude.' [Sniffs] Mmm, I love chenille. Don't you?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Mmm, well, good night, Maude. I mean, Maude. I mean, Rachel! I mean, Maude. Oop!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "[Gasps, Shrieks] Oh, my God! You're trying to make me look like your dead wife!", "c": ["Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "No, no! L-l- I know this is, uh, a tad unseemly. But if you just let me even out the back-", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "We can take whatever we want, right? Don't listen to him. You just have a good time at the eye doctor. Always do!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Yeah, a lifetime of memories. [Grunts] Sure. Of course I do. But life goes on. Ashes to ashes. Turn, turn, turn. Long live rock, and so forth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Don't throw this away. It's Rod's first tooth. You're right. We could use this for witchcraft.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Wow. Three pairs of shoes. Someone had a fetish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "I know how to speed things up. [Whining, Grinding] Her pillow's stuck.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "I know how to speed things up. [starts wood chipper]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "What's that? Some kind of sorting machine? Kinda.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Now for the awkward part. We gotta talk about money. You said we were doing this out of friendship. What? That doesn't sound like me.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Maude designed a Christian amusement park. Oh, it must've been her final dream.", "c": ["Lisa", "Rod/Todd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "But to build an amusement park, you need lots of money and manpower and turnstiles. But Mommy wanted it.", "c": ["Ned", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "They've been out of business ever since that kid got his head cut off. That sounds perfect.", "c": ["Marge", "Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "And what the hell good are you? Beat it, you hippie! But l- You're right. That was harsh.", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Ah, you are so full of it! God's grace, that is. It's really sickening... there aren't more people like you.", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Try a little vitamin 'G'! [Gasps] Are you nuts? Relax. It's a controlled burn. Uh-oh.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Darn teenagers with their beer bottles. Uh, yeah. Teenagers. Huh!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "But I'm not complaining, 'cause I work for a sweet, sweet boss. You're our foreman, Maude.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "She's still bossing you around from beyond the grave? Can they do that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Some Chinese people claimed they were celebrating New Year's in February. [Laughs] Oh, yeah. Those guys and their crazy scams.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Do I detect a hint of cinnamon? Oh, I'll never tell.", "c": ["Lisa", "Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "It is with great pride that I dedicate this new school, sports arena or attraction.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "I hope you enjoy hearing them all. Number one. 'Blessed is the man who does not walk in the council of the wicked.'", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "What do you hit 'em with? There's no mallet. You can stop Satan with your faith.", "c": ["Kid", "Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "There's no mallet. You can stop Satan with your faith. My face? You callin' me ugly? No, no, no, no. I think you're beautiful. Oh, that's it!", "c": ["Game operator", "Snake", "Operator", "Snake"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Oh, are there two of every flavor? Nope. They're all the same- plain.", "c": ["Lisa", "Vendor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "[Feminine Voice] I'm Maude. God is super! Can I sit in the car? Let's both sit in the car. Bye-bye.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Can I sit in the car? Let's both sit in the car.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Any religion that embraces carob is, uh, not for Carl Carlson.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Oh, Maude, I turned your dream of a Christian amusement park into a bemusement park. It is! It's a bemusement park!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "It's a miracle! It's almost like she's alive again.", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "What's that, floating mask? Y-You want me to shoot everyone? Nah, I'm just screwin' with ya. It's a miracle.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "I've never been so close to rubbing my eyes in disbelief. Oh, what the heck! Huh? Huh?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Well, looks like our phenomenon is actually a phenome-not!", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "It was a golden elementary school with a teacher's lounge that stretched as far as the eye could see. And no one was ever tardy.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "And no one was ever tardy. Was I there? No! It was heaven- my vision of heaven.", "c": ["Skinner", "Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Yeah, folks. The power of Christ compels you to give Ned an extra 10 bucks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "[Whimpering] Three is not enough. [Coughing, Gagging]", "c": ["Orphan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Maude, it's Disco Stu. Lay some heaven on me, foxy dead chick.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "For me, this is hell. You dig, pally?", "c": ["Frank Sinatra"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "My chair! It's... got a mind of its own! Help me, Mr. Spock! Shazbot! My captain is in peril.", "c": ["Professor Frink", "Spock"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "You saved the captain's life. I want to make out with you. And so do Catwoman and Agent 99.", "c": ["Star Trek character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "That's like explaining how an airplane flies.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "You better stick your head in and see what's goin' on. Good idea. No, Dad! I think there's a leak in the line!", "c": ["Homer", "Ned", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Oh, no! This isn't a divine miracle. Everyone's just gettin' goofy from the gas.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "That- How could that be worse? Okay, permanent brain damage or just temporary?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "'Could' get hurt. 'Could.' There's a chance they won't.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Orphans lighting candles over a leaking gas line. Lighting candles?", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Adults attacking orphans? I don't think Maude Flanders would approve of that. Absolutely not!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Adults attacking orphans? I don't think Maude Flanders would approve of that.", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Yeah. This place is more like 'Crazyland.' Instead of 'Praiseland.' I see. It's a play on words.", "c": ["Homer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Yeah. This place is more like 'Crazyland.' Instead of 'Praiseland.' I see. It's a play on words.", "c": ["Moe", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Not! [Laughing] Hey, your hair's grown back real nice. It's a wig. And let's never speak of it again.", "c": ["Homer", "Rachel"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "Hey, your hair's grown back real nice. It's a wig. And let's never speak of it again.", "c": ["Ned", "Rachel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 19, "et": "Im Goin To Praiseland"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "[Laughs] I know. We'll never see any of you again.", "c": ["YMCA Employee"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "You got that right.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Well, it's your turn to get the ball out of the peach basket.", "c": ["Basketball Player"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I'll get a ball out of your peach basket one of these days.", "c": ["Basketball Player"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I came to this country in '83 by cartwheeling over Berlin Wall.", "c": ["Coach Lugash"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "No giggling! It weakens the haunches!", "c": ["Coach Lugash"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Eight? Too old! Go home, Grandma!", "c": ["Coach Lugash"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Lugash must go next door to anger management class.", "c": ["Coach Lugash"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Worthless anger management class! I hate it so much! I spit on it!", "c": ["Coach Lugash"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Yo, boy, this class is tight. You go from 'sloppa' to 'proppa.'", "c": ["Hip-hop Etiquette Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "But the black man said- / Are you accusing my husband of misleading you? Good gracious!", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Proper Lady"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I should bust a cap in your ass!", "c": ["Proper Lady"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Pick me! Pick me! I got hoop dreams, Coach! I got 'em bad!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Losers! Losers, losers, l- / You said Homer, right? / Losers!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "What with the passing, and the dribbling... and my shoes made of the flubber! And away I go! It's frightening.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Ow, that was painful. Oh, the flubber is burning my feet!", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I plan to tear it down and turn the land into a nature preserve... where I will hunt the deadliest game of all- Man!", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I am taking the ball and going home. / Hey! Hey, that's not your ball! / [Rifle Clicks] The chase begins.", "c": ["Carl Carlson", "Other Player", "Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Boy, I am so sick of everyone assuming I'm good at basketball because I'm African-American!", "c": ["Carl Carlson"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Go, Carl. Go, Carl. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. Three-peat! You got mail, baby!", "c": ["Carl Carlson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Willie tickles the twine for two! Oy! Oy!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "No way am I taking Groundskeeper Willie.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "[Grunts] Eat my dust, mortals!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Oh, my goodness, an untied shoelace. I'll just get down on one knee and re-tie that. [Grunts] Eat my dust, mortals!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Homer, I'm afraid you've torn out your anterior cruciate ligament. / Did you say anterior? / [Screaming]", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Maybe a little morphine would refresh my memory.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I don't know. I'm still a little hazy. / Now I remember it like it was yesterday. / It happened today. / Hey, man, you're harshing my buzz.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Ow! Jetson!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Maybe a little morphine would get me there quicker.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "One more and I get a free hysterectomy.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "What spinal cord injury? / Oh, he fell off the gurney.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Miss work? But my life would be nothing without the nucleon plant.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "You shouldn't have ordered all those hospital haircuts and porno films. / But Doctor Screwlittle sounded like a delightful romp.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "We've never welshed on a- Look, a bear! Run!", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Two weeks? What am I supposed to do? Just sit on my ass and watch TV? That ain't my style, man.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "No, they don't.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy.", "c": ["Barney Gumble"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Would you make me some Jell-O?", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "So, the tables have turned! Now you're the shut-in, and I'm the hip young dude!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "There goes my wagging finger.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Hitch up your pants, air whittle.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Uh, Mr. Simpson, you weren't supposed to leave the home. / Thank you, Ping-Pong. / My name is Craig. / Sure, it is.", "c": ["Nursing Home Worker", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I know. I'll breed the pets... to each other. [Evil Laugh]", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Soon I will have a miracle hybrid... with the loyalty of a cat and the cleanliness of a dog!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "No. That's not how you do it!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Oh, it feels so good to talk to another human being!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Stupid Flanders.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "[Laughs] It's gonna be one wholesome evening.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "That's not my Uncle Lou. And this man's not dead. / That's what I've been trying to tell you! / That's just gas escaping.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Morgue Worker", "Dead Body"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "And this pickle you're offering only sweetens the deal.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Daddy's not here, is he? [Laughs]", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Pok\u00e9mon? Pok\u00e9mon? With the pokey and the man... and the- [Gibberish]", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "He told us how the world keeps screwing him over.", "c": ["Flanders Kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Well, sir, I've never heard a preacher use the M-F word so many times.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Don't tell me what I'm not doing. / So you are running a day care center? / Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Then I'll do it, just to see the look on your face. / That's the one.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Why did you put my name on the sign? / It's just a legal thing to protect me.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "It's healing over my hand.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "It knows you're afraid.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I would like to take advantage of your baby prison. / We're calling it day care. / Yes, whatever. Just take them!", "c": ["Parent", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "We're calling it day care.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Any medical things I should know about? / Yes, probably!", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Parent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I owe it all to my rewarding work with children. And not picking at it.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Being with those kids gives me a high only morphine can top. / You got any?", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Dad's been doing that for two hours! / I've never seen the baby get tired of it before the adult.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I can't remember the last time Dad sang us a torch song.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "You'll have children of your own someday. Then you'll know my joy.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "You haven't seen the real Homer. It's all burping and neglect. / I think we know your dad a little bit better than you do, Bart.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Day Care Kid"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Boobs! Heinie! Mitten!", "c": ["Various children"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "If you're happy and you know it, say a swear / Boobs! / Heinie! / Mitten!", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "They're always laughing. Laughing at nothing.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "How come parents are always nicer to other kids than they are to their own? / I guess Dad just takes us for granted.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "This'll give his heartstrings a much-needed plucking.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "That was 'tree-mendous!' [Chuckles] Where's Ralph?", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I almost died!", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I contributed by not objecting too much.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I contributed by not objecting too much.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Don't film this!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "We're just resting our eyes.", "c": ["Teamster"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Ow! You stepped on my arm! / Sorry. Daddy thought you were a pile of cable.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Yes. Through the magic of caring.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Well, I've been cutting the felt kind of crooked.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Stop the music! Stop it! One more line, and we have to pay for the song!", "c": ["Award Show Host"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Oh, right. The bus disaster-very sad.", "c": ["Award Show Host"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Oh, right. The bus disaster-very sad.", "c": ["Awards host"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "You can walk all over these doormats. [Laughs]", "c": ["Award Show Host"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "You can walk all over these doormats.", "c": ["Awards host"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "So all of you out there, type 'control backslash semicolon alt dot escape'... and you'll be fine.", "c": ["Award Show Host"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "If you can find a sturdier hypno-coin, you buy it.", "c": ["Award Show Host"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "would make Santa Claus himself vomit with rage.", "c": ["Award Show Host"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Who writes this stuff?", "c": ["Awards host"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Who writes this stuff?", "c": ["Award Show Host"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Please let me win this Lord, 'cause if you don't-", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "All my love has come back in trophy form.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "His scabby red knee became an infectious beacon of hope.", "c": ["Documentary Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Big phony!", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "A beer-drinking meanie!", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Oh! I almost had a straight!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "We just spliced in some home movies. What do you think?", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I'll mace you good!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "My polite indignation knows no bounds!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Come back here with my young'un!", "c": ["Cletus Spuckler"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Uh, for frosty chocolate milk shakes! [Insane Laugh]", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I'm gonna try to nail the driver with one of my shoes. / Arnie, please leave this to the police. / I'm sick of being a reporter. I want to make the news!", "c": ["Arnie Pie", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "You're not the time, Kent! You're not the time!", "c": ["Arnie Pie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Then you better turn.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Now he's realizing he's too fat. / He's digging a hole like a dog. / Now he's given up on that and he's running back and forth.", "c": ["Arnie Pie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "His legs are dangling in a comical fashion. / Oh, it's the saddest thing I've ever seen.", "c": ["Arnie Pie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "I can't see through metal, Kent!", "c": ["Arnie Pie"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Was it because I showered love on those other children while ignoring you? / Yep. / Pretty much.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Bart Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "The teamsters said they'd pick it up by 5:00. / Yeah. That'll happen.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "Pok\u00e9mon? Pok\u00e9mon? With the pokey and the man... and the- [Gibberish]", "c": ["Bill Cosby Impression/Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 20, "et": "Children Of A Lesser Clod"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "I wanna visit a screen door factory", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Well, we are not boarding that plane unless you waive that tax. Waive it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Stupid anti-fist-shaking laws!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Cool. A dead hobo.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "I'm not a stabbin' hobo. I'm a singin' hobo.", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "# Stabbin' folks with my hobo knife #", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "I was just having a little fun with you 'nobos.'", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "# His body grew big but his brain stayed small #", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Yuck! All right, uh, let's get started on lunch.", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Can anybody hear me? I think I found a way out. It's not pretty, but it'll do.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Same way we got rid of Laura Ingalls Wilder.", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Aw, you guys are the greatest friends a giant doofus could have.", "c": ["Homer as Paul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Good Lord! Brought down by one beer? And a couple of these babies.", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Paul Bunyan never fought Rodan.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey! Who's the hobo here?", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "I just need a few more yoga classes.", "c": ["Paul's girlfriend"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Pain in the glayvin!", "c": ["Paul's girlfriend"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "God has sent this fiery kill rock to show us his love.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "When I'm crushing and killing you, you don't like me. But when I can save your life, suddenly I'm Mr. Popular.", "c": ["Homer as Paul"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "This one's for the little crippled boy... that I crippled.", "c": ["Homer as Paul"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "And that's how Paul Bunyan started the great Chicago fire.", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "But first, who wants to give me a sponge bath? I'm filthy.", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "But first, who wants to give me a sponge bath? I'm filthy.", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Who put the beans in my bindle?", "c": ["Hobo as Southside Jake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "It's the tale ofJohnny- No. Connie Appleseed.", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Why'd you kill another one? Dessert.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Dad, you just killed a poor defenseless buffalo. A poor, delicious buffalo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Wipe out an entire species? Why, that's impossible.", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Of course! Apples!", "c": ["Lisa/Connie"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Oh, boy! Buffalo testicles!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "And her family changed theirs to Bufflekill.", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "how about whipping up some buffalo sausage... huevos buffaleros, and some fresh-squeezed buffal-O. J?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Calm down, Pa. There's two left.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "It's like a hootenanny in my mouth!", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "So now we're not eating Homer?", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Apple wine, apple whiskey... apple schnapps, apple martinis... uh, Snapple with vodka in it... apple nail polish remover-", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Don't forget applesauce. Yeah. I suppose you could grind some pills into it.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Yeah. I suppose you could grind some pills into it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "That's not a tall tale. It's a book by Mark Twain.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "That's not a tall tale. It's a book by Mark Twain.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Whitewashing sucks, Tom. It powerful sucks.", "c": ["Huck/Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "I'd just get a new neck off n a cat.", "c": ["Bart as Huck"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "I was gonna let go by-and-by.", "c": ["Huck/Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "When are you gonna put down that gun?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Hey, they done switched the groom with a pig!", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Hey, they done switched the groom with a pig!", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "No wonder he was pooping so much.", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Please do not exit the raft... until it has come to a complete stop.", "c": ["P.A. Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "fatback, hardtack, fat pone, 'corntack.' Any 'tackback'? 'Tackback'? I mean 'backtack.'", "c": ["Tom and Huck"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Double dang!", "c": ["Tom/Homer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Aw, donkey butter!", "c": ["Store owner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Well, dog my cats. They's dis-apporated.", "c": ["Pursuer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "This ain't no five-X whiskey. I can still see.", "c": ["Bar patron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Now let's just put 'em away. Nobody here is a cheat.", "c": ["Barkeeper"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Man, those derringer bullets are weak. Powerful weak.", "c": ["Townsperson"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "And that was Tom and Huck's last adventure.", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "We're gonna visit the place where JCPenney sends their damaged merchandise.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "swappin' stories for sponge baths.", "c": ["Hobo"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Oh, boy! Buffalo testicles!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "Oh, boy! Buffalo testicles! [Chomping Sound]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 12, "e": 21, "et": "Simpsons Tall Tales"}, {"t": "No, no. That won't scare anybody. On the top.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Hey, Flanders gave us toothpaste. Mini-toothpaste.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Ah, Ethnictown, where hardworking immigrants dream of becoming lazy, overfed Americans.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Apples! I got apples. Cholera! I got cholera!", "c": ["Street Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Babies! Who wants babies?", "c": ["Street Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Wait. This is just a shaved puppy. I can see you know babies.", "c": ["Homer", "Baby Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Are you a cop? Because you gotta tell me if you are. I'm not a cop!", "c": ["Fortune Teller", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "The perfect crime.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Marge, I have to be in court next Tuesday. I sense I should not take a check.", "c": ["Homer", "Fortune Teller"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "This phony gypsy just wants to rip you off. See? This wart is a fake!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "So much for the legendary gypsy hospitality.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. This isn't Cedars-Sinai. You've ruined me! Oh, why didn't I see this coming?", "c": ["Fortune Teller"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Are you coming on to me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "So, it is noticeable.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Don't talk to the bearded lady like that, you little...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Gee, you strangle him all the time and that never happens.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Right, Lisa? See? Two means 'Yes.'", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "But they come over here in the wheel wells of Aer Lingus jets.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what's even better? Is Jesus. He's like six leprechauns. Yeah, but a lot harder to catch.", "c": ["Barfly", "Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Yeah, but a lot harder to catch. Go with the leprechaun.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Carl, let me die first. I couldn't bear to watch you die. Well, okay. But hurry up.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Okay, let's see. Imp, fairy, pixie, goblin. That's hobgoblin. Sorry. Nymph, naiad, wood sprite, Katie Couric, and bingo!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "'Tis like the singing of the angels themselves.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Good idea, Mister Ed. Want to come along, Noodle Neck?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "How's that curse I cursed you with, Cursed-y?", "c": ["Fortune Teller"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "I know you don't remember me, but here's a little revenge, Irish-style.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Hold me close. Kiss me, I'm Irish. Ew! Nasty!", "c": ["Leprechaun", "Fortune Teller"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "I always secrete ocular fluid at weddings.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "The best thing about a gypsy wedding is I'm not the hairiest woman here.", "c": ["Selma or Patty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "What? Bart is dead! Well, me saying I'm sorry won't bring him back. The gypsy said it would. She's not the boss of me.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Yeah. Could I be any more of a house?", "c": ["Matthew Perry Voice"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Isn't that the voice that caused all those suicides? Murder-suicides.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "All right, but I'm doing this because he was Remington Steele. He was Remington Steele, wasn't he? Yes, I was, Marge.", "c": ["Marge", "Pierce Brosnan Voice"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "That really covers the cat crap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "I analyzed your... leavings.", "c": ["Pierce Brosnan Voice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Not a very good one? Damn straight.", "c": ["Marge", "Pierce Brosnan Voice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Lucky-schmucky. I knocked her up, but she's stuck now. We're married till death do us part.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Unexplained bacon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Remove your knickers and wait in the bath.", "c": ["Pierce Brosnan Voice"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Your elegant, swan-like neck.", "c": ["Pierce Brosnan Voice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "How do you like that score?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Don't take out my British charm unit. Without that, I'm nothing but a boorish American clod!", "c": ["Pierce Brosnan Voice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot, ass-wipe! I could've kicked your butt from here to Albuquerque, you fat slime bucket.", "c": ["Pierce Brosnan Voice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Looking for this?", "c": ["Pierce Brosnan Voice"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Abraca-dairy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Five minutes more-ius.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Stop zapping yourself! Stop zapping yourself! Stop zapping yourself!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "How are you, love? Give us a kiss then. You call that charming?", "c": ["Prince", "Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Please kill me.", "c": ["Bart's Prince"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Every moment I live is agony.", "c": ["Bart's Prince"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "She's got more wicked witchery than Stevie Nicks.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I'm ducking him. His wife has a screenplay.", "c": ["Lord Montymort"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "I've heard of a wailing wall, but this is ridiculous!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Not funny! I'm so sick of that joke!", "c": ["Wailing Wall"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Not funny! I'm so sick of that joke!", "c": ["Lord Montymort"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "It's just like my dream.", "c": ["Audience Member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "It's a Twizzler.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "My enchanted shin!", "c": ["Lord Montymort"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Well, they used to give us champagne till somebody ruined it. Do they really think he'll do better with fruit?", "c": ["Character", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "Oh, we don't have a car. Just keep driving, boyo!", "c": ["Leprechaun"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xii"}, {"t": "d'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Won't you marry me, bill? I got the wedding gown bill because weddings are Nice", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 3.97, "im": 3.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "The kbbl prize posse! Damn dirty ape! If our wampum wagon spots your kbbl party penguin, you'll win $40!", "c": ["Radio DJ"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 3.62, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "If we're late for school, we'll miss our free federal breakfast! Big deal. It's just saltines and fig paste. Ew! Saltines!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Hey, Cora. I heard science is working on a donut that actually burns off calories. How's that going?", "c": ["Homer", "Cora"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Just refill this with jelly, Will you? Thanks. You're an angel. What?", "c": ["Homer", "Cora"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "With rain baggy! Oh, man. That would really keep your head dry.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Have you ever been in a police car? Not in the front.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "You there! Put your hands up! Me? Okay. Now, drop your pants. Yeah, but... But my hands are up. Hula out of them.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "It's me, Clancy. No! Get away!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Soup! Soup!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "You have the right to remain, um... Uh... Silent? That doesn't sound right.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "I love our court days. It's about the only thing we do as a family anymore.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "He's basically a good kid. He's just weak. Morally and in the upper body.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Please let me slip through the cracks.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Well, you look like a good student, what with those glasses, and I suppose boys Will be boys. Case dismissed.", "c": ["Judge Snyder"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Why, hello, Bart. Say, are those new shoes? Yes, they are, Roy.", "c": ["Judge Snyder", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "I'll bring the car around. And I suppose boys Will be... Oops. My vacation just started.", "c": ["Judge Snyder"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting.", "c": ["Judge Harm"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "You abandoned your son to win $40? And a blue oyster cult medallion. Cool.", "c": ["Judge Harm", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Your honor, if I may sing a little bit of don't fear the reaper, I think you'll agree that...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Perhaps some sort of court-appointed babysitter or 'au pair.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Sorry, bub. That crow won't caw.", "c": ["Judge Harm"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Sir, you are not a size four. I used to be.", "c": ["Court officer", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "That's why Bill Clinton is our new mailman.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Dang magazines.", "c": ["Bill Clinton"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Make sure your father takes his mood medication. I'll medicate you... honey.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Race you to the kitchen, my little tether ball. You're on, rope-a-dope!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Boring! Mr. Simpson, I'm trying to teach. Come on. These kids are never gonna use that stuff.", "c": ["Homer", "Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "What's wrong with him now, Bart? Night terrors, ma'am. Cobras!", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Hey, hey! Run, Bart! Pump your thighs! Pump them!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Safe! Wow. My first home run. That's my boy.", "c": ["Umpire", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Come on, hug me. [Awkward pause]", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Cobras! Cobras!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "And there's no one here to squeal on me for shooting mice.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Oh, son, you know that's none of your business.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Say, is that our house? Uh, I don't think our house has a steeple. Yeah. I forget things sometimes.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, no kids in the bar! Since when? The heat's been on since them bush girls were in here.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Hey, knock it off! These pants cost $600. Really? Yeah. They're Italian. All right, hand them over. Moe, what the... Yeah, I Rob now.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "If you can't cope, you'll wear the rope.", "c": ["Judge Harm"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Well, you can tell she's never had kids. Look how high and firm her breasts are.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Use the bottle. No! I don't want you going in a bottle. That's what hobos do.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Fine! I don't know why we even have a bottle! Somebody tell me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Son, it's a little chilly. Maybe you should wrap a blanket around your head.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Why not? Kids are very visual these days!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "The lady said no. Hey, shut up. You shut up.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "I'm sleeping in the bathtub. Why, you little...", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "I can't take it anymore!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Mom, you cut the tether. We're free! Your mother set us free!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "That's right. It's me, judge harm, through the magic of fiber optics.", "c": ["Judge Harm"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, if I want a cock and bull story, I'll read Hemingway.", "c": ["Judge Harm"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "You see, I was pressuring my wife to make love in front of our son, you're gonna laugh when you hear this, when suddenly...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "It's a miracle poor Bartholomew isn't robbing banks and chasing sweet lady h.", "c": ["Judge Harm"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "I'm a latchkey kid. You are not!", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "I'm a latchkey kid. You are not!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "And frankly, judge, I think you're a bully!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Your honor, I'd like to be tried separately.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "She's such a butthole.", "c": ["Judge Harm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "'Cause I felt like it. You're not even listening. I know you are, but what am I?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Yarr, ye scurvy dogs! Ow! Ow! Worst parents ever! Ha-ha! Hey! No extension cords!", "c": ["Sea Captain", "Nelson", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "It could be 'negligent' or 'unfit' or 'drugged up.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "It's time to stand up to that firm-breasted judge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "What the... Hey, Marge, surf's up!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Gee, I always like to help you, homer, but I don't want to be an accessory to some sort of shady doings.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "If that costume shop knew we were using these burglar outfits for real, they'd be furious.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Let's start skulking.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Oh. It's only the milkman. Hey, maybe I should be a milkman!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "She lives in a houseboat? Wow! She is so cool!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "We hate her, homer. I know. I know. Fight the power.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Ain't that sweet, chief? It sure is, Lou. Those two longshoremen found love.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "I hate to call a judge dirty names, but there's only one way to describe a nasty super witch like her.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "It's just a friendly seal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Oh, lord, guide this cinder block. Homer, no!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Hey, how you doing?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "So... it cost you nothing. Shut up!", "c": ["Homer", "Judge Harm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "and I'm gonna lock you up till frogs do fractions.", "c": ["Judge Harm"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "You remind me of me when I was a little boy.", "c": ["Judge Harm"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Um... did she say she used to be a dude?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Well, I'm back from vacation. But I was just about to bang my gavel, making the sentence official. Sorry, I've already put my clown down. But I was just going to... The clown is down.", "c": ["Judge Snyder", "Judge Harm"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Judge snyder, motion to declare a writ of boys Will be boys. Motion granted. Case dismissed!", "c": ["Lawyer", "Judge Snyder"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Motion granted. Case dismissed!", "c": ["Judge Snyder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "That was close. Please drive off me.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "What's that noise? Uh... just the radio, dear.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "cobras!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 2, "et": "The Parent Rap"}, {"t": "Oh, that south. You never know what he'll do next.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "He's like an unfunny version of me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Probably digging for drugs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "What are you doing? / Digging. Why? / To make a hole. / A hole for what? / More digging.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "So, I guess you wouldn't mind if I was to dig a hole of my own? / Go for it. Maybe I Will. / What's stopping you? Very little.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "I'm having chest pains. / Where's the defibrillator? Clear! / This thing pays for itself.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "My dad's always yelling that whitey's keeping him down.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "If it happens, it happens.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Those inscrutable Americans. What are they up to now?", "c": ["Chinese person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "We all know you're the great humungus! / Well, I'm just saying... / Oh, you're always 'just saying.'", "c": ["Barfly", "Homer", "Other barfly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Well, I just naturally assumed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "And I've read the entire sweet valley high series.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Sorry, shaggy.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "And calling us 'dumbasses.' / Which we're so not.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.46, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Don't do that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "I ain't smiled for real since I nailed that rat with the ice pick. / Remember that? That was an amazing throw.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "What do you call it? Human feeling. / Yeah. Maybe you should... What's the expression? / Go back there. / What's the word I'm searching for? Uh... / Yeah.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "I'm an urban Lenny!", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Look, I don't want to start a tinkling contest here. / Or do I?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Oh, don't look so proud. That was wind-assisted.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "No, moe. You've got it all wrong. People buy beer from you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Hey, what happened to the music? / Don't worry. You got to hit it just right, like fonzie. / Eh! / Oh! Whoa! / Hemorrhage-amundo!", "c": ["Patron", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "None. A Cosmopolitan is made with cranberry juice.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Moe szyslak, you old glasswipe.", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Yeah. I'd like to speak to a Mr. Tabooger. First name Ollie. / Ooh! Bart! My first prank call. What do I do? / Just ask if anyone knows Ollie tabooger. / I don't get it. / Yell out, 'I'll eat a booger.' / What's the gag? / Oh, forget it!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "When I first saw the movie ironweed, I thought, you know, this is for me.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Is 'crap-hole' one word? / Yes, if it's hyphenated. / Then I'll stick with crap-hole.", "c": ["Moe", "Professor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Do you have a cure for cancer? Because that would be great!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Hey, don't you want to take your shoes off before you go swimming? / Professor? / Oh.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "You dirty teen!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "I am formico, the Dean of design. / Hi, formico. / Uh-uh-uh. My name must never be spoken. / Sorry. He seems Nice.", "c": ["Formico", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Cecil is a girl's name.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "This place looks like it's from the not-too-distant future. / Yeah. You like it, homer? / Um... the rabbits are cute. / That one ain't moving.", "c": ["Lenny", "Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "It's po-mo. / Postmodern. / Yeah, all right. Weird for the sake of weird.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "We don't serve duff no more. We got a Malaysian beer that's better than duff. It's made out of soy sauce.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "I'm trapped. This is creative design run amok.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "After chernobyl, my penis is falling off. / And 'penis' is Russian for...", "c": ["Russian model", "Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Hey! Nobody calls moe St. cool a phony!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "You'd be having a great time if you'd stayed in your dark spot.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "It's not about spite. It's about petty revenge and getting back at that traitor, moe!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Father, give me legs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Father, give me legs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Oh, you got one of them cell phones, huh? / Yeah. No cord at all on those.", "c": ["Moe", "Patron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Unless you're being ironic, turn that off now.", "c": ["Hipster patron"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "I won't drink at moe's! Because moe's a big jerk and a she-male, too!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "how did you get r. E.M. To play in your garage? / I told them it was a benefit. They think they're saving the rain forest! / Suckers!", "c": ["Patron", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "I told them it was a benefit. They think they're saving the rain forest! Suckers!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Bar? I see no bar. This is a hunting club.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "That's not the r. E.M. Way.", "c": ["Michael Stipe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "That's not the r. E.M. Way. / You're right. / Let's recycle those shards and get out of here.", "c": ["Michael Stipe", "Other REM member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "It's not fair, dad. Why should an animal die just because you and moe are fighting? / It's the law. My hands are tied.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Lemons.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Do you really think the Turkey's just gonna climb onto the plate? / I would.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Do you really think the Turkey's just gonna climb onto the plate? / I would.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Turkeys, the only animal smarter than man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "My leg! Oh, geez! / Got that cat right in the leg. / Dad, you shot moe! / Oh, no! This time I really am gonna faint!", "c": ["Moe", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "It's like my dad always said, 'eventually everybody gets shot.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "All right, I'm sorry. But I Will not save the rain forest!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "Tofu and gluten. / I'm thankful I ate before I came.", "c": ["REM member", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 3, "et": "Homer The Moe"}, {"t": "I love Chinatown, although I wish they'd stop picking on Tibet Town.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "People buy them when they're small and cute. Then they flush them down the toilet. Uh, yeah. I'll have the shark butt with butt sauce.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Would you like that with the fragrant bee bellies or the cat noses?", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Is there any way we can enhance your dining experience by hurting an animal?", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Geese can be troublesome.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "A guy outside told me that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Every house has a bathroom.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I should be in New York writing riddles on Popsicle sticks!", "c": ["Old Chinese Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Let a frown be your umbrella. They change it to smile. A frown is a much better umbrella than a smile!", "c": ["Old Chinese Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "The price of stamps will climb ever higher.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Please! Yung Mee was a hack compared to this guy!", "c": ["Chinese Restaurant Owner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "You will invent a humorous toilet lid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Your store is being robbed, Apu.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "That fortune really nailed me, and my winning ways.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Yarr! I'll enjoy that.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Ooh! Me sorry! Me no speaky Chiny!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "General Gao, you're a bloodthirsty fool, but your chicken is delectable.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "That was my thumb.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Well, it's just you and me here, sir.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "No time for jokes, Smithers. Come along. We're going womanizing.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "So I foreclosed on her mortgage and took her cats.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I've gone five minutes without saying, 'Well, I never!'", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Damn that Pennybags! Between him and Scrooge McDuck, all the best ankle is taken!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I'd always be second place to some kitten stuck in a tree.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "This has been the worst Flag Day ever.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Now, see here, Flatfoot!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "You can lift my wiper any day.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "O frabjous day! She said yes!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "He'll pick you up at 7:00. Wear a petticoat.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I can't stand to see a man single. Some people enjoy being alone, Mom. No. Everyone should be paired up.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Well, I've never dated anyone with their original hair and teeth.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "You're a nice guy, Monty. You're always laughing and tenting your fingers.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I really feel safe with you. It's like going out with my brother.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "like piloting motor coaches and collecting dog waste.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "It's not important how old you are on parchment. It's how old you feel in the humors.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Play along, chubsy. There's a pie in it for you.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "He ran his own casino, stole the Loch Ness monster, got shot by a baby, and blotted out the sun!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "These would stop Joan Collins herself!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Yes. That's totally voluntary.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "You mean Young Man Burns.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I'm going to make such love to you that you'll forget all about Rudolph Valentino.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "It was made from the pockets of the pocket fox, an animal that only existed for three weeks in the 16th century.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Clean out your desk. You're gone.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Did you hear that? That 'excellent' was excellent.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "We have to... Expel some urine!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "My biological clock is ticking. I could be dead again soon.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I think you'll find that red ball more 'engaging.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Spectacular! Now we must celebrate. I'll get some Champagne-iola!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I told the guard that I was going out for a pack of cigarettes. Then I totally stabbed him.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Then I totally stabbed him.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "The cops were chasing us. I needed to lighten the load. And, um, protect you.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Let go of her, or I'll scream!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Callooh! Callay! We're in luck! They had a magnum at the shoe counter.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Homer just comes along on our dates and carries us to the bedroom.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "You're dating that old trilobite? Gross!", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "He was my sexually-virile best friend", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Well, according to our audience insta-poll, 46% say you're too old, and 37% say she's a skank.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I think his name was Gustafson.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "You know what would be surprising? A foot massage.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Hey! Hey, I want that lawyer what wears the cowboy hat.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "That's a sweet shot. He's tied to a chair.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Well, we have an officer sneaking around the house, Kent, so unless they have a television in there or can hear my loud talking...", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I don't like bothering people at home.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "She's completely hairless, like those cats.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "I don't care if she's Miss Hairless America! I'm spoken for.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "You? No offense, but you're a decrepit monkey skeleton.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Channel 6 is hot, hot, hot!", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "What about the wiener? A guy on TV lifted a can of paint with his.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "You mean a Vandyke? No, a Vandyke has a moustache, doesn't it? I think it can. Are you talking about a soul patch? No! Wait. Maybe.", "c": ["Snake", "Homer", "Snake", "Homer", "Snake"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "You mean a Vandyke? No, a Vandyke has a moustache, doesn't it? I think it can. Are you talking about a soul patch?", "c": ["Homer", "Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 4, "et": "A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love"}, {"t": "Putting away groceries, it's like unwrapping presents from yourself. Fruit Roll-Ups for Bart. Beer Roll-Ups for Homer.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Burly? I bought the wrong brand, Maggie.", "c": ["Marge", "Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Look at those massive plaid shoulders! Look at that absorbativity!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "I came home as quick as I could. What's going on? Watch what happens when I spill this blue liquid.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "You pulled me out of school for this? Absolutely. You're about to get a lesson in value.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Ooh, Burly, you're insatiable.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Oh, Burly, you're so rugged and manly.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Marge, a bee almost stung me today. I felt the wind go right by my ear.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Fantasize, Marge. Fantasize about Burly.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Ooh! Mama Celeste. You touch me and I cut you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Homer, I'll tell you what I told Redford. It ain't gonna happen.", "c": ["Homer as Mama Celeste"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Marge hasn't asked me for a signed photo in months.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Hello. This is Chad Sexington, the model for Burly Paper Towels.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "I was having a private conversation with my wife in the guise of Chad Sexington. Do you mind?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Tonight? Well, you better get your hopes up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Why, look. It's Chad Sexington! Hey, baby! I'm that guy you like.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Congratulations. I feel ridiculous.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "It was hard on me, too. I had to wear a suit.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "How about Benihana, where dinner is the show?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "I like the ones where nothing catches on fire. Yeah. Nothing is hurt except feelings.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Well, what's the matter with you, champ? You couldn't find a date?", "c": ["Mesmerino", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Glayvin! That's a powerful... Whoa! Hold it 'cause it's different!", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Hey, cupcake, listen good. I want you to swallow that gum and meet me in the coatroom, in five, four, three, two, now.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Oh, dear. I've redorkulated.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Hey, smart move, Four-Eyes. Sitting next to Skeletor here makes you look like Hercules.", "c": ["Mesmerino"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Actually, my father died a long time ago.", "c": ["Thin Man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Okay. Is anyone here not a downer? Anyone?", "c": ["Mesmerino"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Look at me! I'm a famous historian! Out of my way!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Look at me! I'm Angie Dickinson! Out of my way!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "I'm 12 years old. I'm with my friends. It's a beautiful summer day at the old swimming hole. Oh, my God!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Yeah. He ruined naptime and quiet time.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Oh, cool. He's still mental.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "It would be a good excuse to use my Yaqui tea set.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "I remember that time I tried to jump over Springfield Gorge. I'm gonna make it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "No, Dad. Everyone's sick of that memory.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Check it out, Fat Tony. Those jokers think they're The Cowsills.", "c": ["Mobster"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "You guys have blundered into our secret tobaccy patch. Wow! Is that wacky tobaccy?", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Young Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Eighteen more pumps, that could break the skin.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Look at all them stars. Bunch of lazy lights, don't do nothing for nobody.", "c": ["Young Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Have you heard about this Internet thing? Yeah. It's the inner netting they invented to line swim trunks.", "c": ["Young Lenny", "Young Carl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "We're the Moe Szyslak Experience, featuring Homer.", "c": ["Young Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Not me. I'm shaking like a French soldier.", "c": ["Young Lenny"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Yeah. I think I just logged on to my Internet.", "c": ["Young Carl"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Fine. Crap all over my theory.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Come on, Homer! We're going to Sears to feel the bras!", "c": ["Young Lenny or Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "My occasional overeating, my fear of corpses.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Hey, you guys can come with us. No, no, no. He said 'Simpson family.'", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Yep. The old quarry is just a stone's throw away. Stop saying that, Dad. Never.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Seventeen seventy-six. How much is left in my checking account.", "c": ["Mesmerino"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Someone's yellow belly is showing. Oh, sorry.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "And maybe the city would give me a coupon for free guitar lessons.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Put it back. I don't want to see it this way.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Burly to the rescue!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Don't get excited. It's just a skull-shaped rock and a bunch of white sticks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "And someone has eaten the flesh.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Now do you believe dead rats float, Lisa? Yes.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Did I say corpse hatch? I meant 'innocence tube.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Ooh! A movie! I call the couch!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "So, you're a baby, huh? How's that working out for you?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "I told him his father was killed in the Amazon by a tribe of savage women.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Why? He'd just bury it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I sleuthed my ass off on this one.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "This is a shell that, to me, this is just me talking. It looks like a helmet for a mouse.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "But if you ask the mice about it, they don't say nothing. I mean, they run the other way.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "You really made that envelope? 'Cause it says 'Hammermill' over here. Um... No.", "c": ["Lisa", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 5, "et": "The Blunder Years"}, {"t": "Right. Goggles on!", "c": ["Captain"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "That's just a dog in a spacesuit! From the looks of it, a male dog.", "c": ["Crew member"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Loser.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Hey, Lise, is Dad's credit card number 5784365343410709? You know it is.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Science? He didn't say 'science.' He said 'pie pants.' Mmm. Pie pants.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "My eyebrows! My beautiful eyebrows!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "The word 'unblowupable' is thrown around a lot these days, but I think I can say with confidence...", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Greetings from Neddedy Space Center on Cape Flandaveral.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "'Dweeb,' 'wonk,' 'spaz.' It's all good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "He's leaving her with five babies. She already ate three. That's sensible.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Son, we are about to break the surly bonds of gravity and punch the face of God!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Five, four, three, two, one, countdown!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Wow! That's it. I'm off the hooch. Hey, wine!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "This is the worst thing you've ever done! You say that so much, it's lost all meaning.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "All right! We'll help ourselves, yet again.", "c": ["God (voice)"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Let's just write to David Bowie again. No, he's done enough for this church.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "That's just a skip-rope rhyme.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "You'll get yours.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Conflicted. Too bad! You've already signed the deal! Actually, he hasn't.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Lindsay Naegle", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Well, we highly value your input, until you sign the deal.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "The old church was skewing pious. We prefer a faith-based emporium, teeming with impulse-buy items.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Why does Jesus have a lasso? Because he's all man.", "c": ["Lisa", "Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Get your money changed, right here in the temple! That could not be more blasphemous.", "c": ["Vendor", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Lisa, don't sulk. You're on the JumboTron. Adorable.", "c": ["Marge", "Crowd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Trust me. He'll say it, or I'll bust him down to Thursday night vespers.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Quiet, Lisa. Everyone in the store is looking at you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Like the Whore of Babylon? That is a false analogy. No, it's not. It's apt. Apt!", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Like the Whore of Babylon? That is a false analogy. No, it's not. It's apt. Apt!", "c": ["Lisa", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "He put ice in the urinals.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Do you want your hand stamped so you can come back in? No! I'm leaving this church forever!", "c": ["Church usher", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I don't know how to feel. You should be very upset. Got it. How is that? A little much.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Why do you have to be so different? Always making a big deal out of everything?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Honey, I'm worried about your soul. I want at least one person from this family to go to heaven.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Her? She's just kidding, Mr. Lord.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "How about one of those religions where you eat a human heart? No. How about Methodist? No!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "How about Judaism? When you turn 13, cha-ching!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Yeah. If I didn't have inner peace, I'd completely go psycho on all you guys all the time.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "What about the Dalai Lama? Who? You know, the 14th reincarnation of the Buddha Avalokiteshvara. Who's Buddha?", "c": ["Lisa", "Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "It's a good thing Buddhism teaches freedom from desire, 'cause I've got the desire to kick your ass.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "I dream about meatball sandwiches, all-you-can-eat for two bucks.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Hey, Richard, in An Officer and a Gentleman, did you really do all those sit-ups? I wish. I did one, and they just showed it 1,000 times.", "c": ["Carl", "Richard Gere"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Hey, Richard, in An Officer and a Gentleman, did you really do all those sit-ups? I wish. I did one, and they just showed it 1,000 times.", "c": ["Carl", "Richard Gere"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "My Satan-sense is tingling.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "My Satan-sense is tingling. Into the root cellar, boys! When can we come out? Maybe never. Yay! Yay!", "c": ["Ned", "Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Hold that thought. Bacon up that sausage, boy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "But, Dad, my heart hurts.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "You know, Lisa, around here, Buddhists don't get any desserts in their lunches. A Buddhist wouldn't want any.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "His name's Gunnar, and he's dating my mom. Sometimes, he buys us beer. I thought Kearney was dating your mom. Hey, she came on to me!", "c": ["Dolph", "Jimbo", "Kearney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Sometimes, he buys us beer. I thought Kearney was dating your mom. Hey, she came on to me!", "c": ["Dolph", "Jimbo", "Kearney"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "You're gonna get a bath tonight!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "When hell freezes over, suckers!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "And Santa doesn't leave presents under the Bodhi Tree.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Time to begin Operation X-Mas Remind of How Good Is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "I think I ate a dog food lid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "I think I ate a dog food lid.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "I just know his name is Clip-Clop and he loves sugar.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "I was only about to achieve enlightenment. But who'd want that?", "c": ["Buddhist"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "I did it! I found our dog! Now our Christmas is complete! We were looking for Lisa! I thought we were caroling.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "I did it! I found our dog! Now our Christmas is complete! We were looking for Lisa!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "So, you're just going to pay lip service to our church? Uh-huh. That's all I ever asked.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Here, Clip-Clop! Here, pony-pony!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "I'm serious. Make with the pony. Here, Clip-Clop! Here, pony-pony!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 6, "et": "She Of Little Faith"}, {"t": "Thanks to the magic of Disney Animatronics, Strom Thurmond will live another 100 years.", "c": ["Republican Speaker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Twenty more terms!", "c": ["Republican voices"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "What act of unmitigated evil shall the Republican Party undertake this week?", "c": ["Republican Speaker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "You've already done enough, Nader.", "c": ["Republican Speaker"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Those lousy Muppets have been taking food out of my mouth for too long!", "c": ["Republican member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Back in Texas, we got rid of it, and it made everyone a lot happier. He was so happy...", "c": ["Texas Republican"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Now Bob Dole will read from the Necronomicon.", "c": ["Republican Speaker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Recycling a felony. And Smokey the Bear is now Choppy the Lumberjack.", "c": ["Bob Dole"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "A grizzly bear with a chainsaw. Now there's a killing machine!", "c": ["Republican member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Stop endangering yourself. Stop endangering yourself.", "c": ["Automatic safety message"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.44, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Good Lord! Acid rain! I'm singing in the rain Just singing in the rain What a glorious feeling", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "It burns like a Glasgow bikini wax!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "We'd better stay inside, at least until the squirrels stop melting.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "He smelled like puke!", "c": ["Female blind date"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "The game is crazy enough as it is. How can an iron be a landlord?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "They told me it would be like this on the outside.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "These hotels are made of Legos. Bart, you're cheating!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. You take his side just because he bought you that house on St. James Place.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Mom, that's not how you pry them apart. I've been prying them apart since before you were born!", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "The Prison Nutcracker Suite is one week away. And I don't see five Sugar Plums. I see five guys who don't know their moves and don't seem to care!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "And don't try anything, because Johanssen there is a snitch.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Another case of Monopoly-related violence, Chief.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "I am Brenda. I am programmed to talk in a calm and constructive manner. Destroy! Destroy!", "c": ["Negotia-bot"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Hey, this is taffy! Police brutality!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "And chew-tality!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Too bad real women don't come with these, huh?", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "You're going to Stanford. You're going to Stanford.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Stanford. This family has hit rock bottom.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Like Denzel Washington in The Preacher's Wife, or Will Smith in Bagger Vance, or Slimer in Ghostbusters.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Don't blame me. Blame Tinseltown in its second golden age, may it never end.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "I got sprayed by a skunk! Let me rub it off on your sweaters! Just 10 more years. Just 10 more years.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "He has to be here. I'm just that nuts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "How come you get a social worker? I'm the one with stigmata.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Because at 6:00, we go live!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "It's where I go to drink alcohol, which is the mortal equivalent of your ambrosia.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Well, not with that temper.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Well, this is one family that doesn't swing that way!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "As a family, we drive away. We cover for each other as a family. That's what Gabriel would've wanted", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Look, Gabriel! We're learning to work together! That's great. But so are the wolves and cougars!", "c": ["Lisa", "Gabriel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "My driving ankle.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Oh, no! The roast beef is making them stronger! And the falafel is making them angrier!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. It's Blatz.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "You know, we've been through some 280 adventures together, but our bond has never been stronger.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Could this be the end of our series of events?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Oh, it's the woman I married in Vegas!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Homer, you're a bad man, and your seed should be wiped from the earth. No offense, children.", "c": ["Amber"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "If I had known there were loose women in Las Vegas, I would never have let you go!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Liquors drunkened me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Upstairs? I hit the jackpot!", "c": ["Ginger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "We never ever made whoopee, or even mouth whoopee!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, under Nevada law, bigamy, or 'Mormon Hold 'Em,' is perfectly legal.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "You can't kick me out. It'll cause a miscount in the census!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Oh, no. She's making him a sandwich!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "We don't use the 'I' word in this house.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "We flushed your sin sticks down to hell. Smokers are jokers.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "You could look seven. And I could teach you to count cards.", "c": ["Ginger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "No. You're thinking of someone with two knives.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Why don't you just take Britney Beers and get out of here?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Talk about what? Sports? Bigamy? Not a sports fan, huh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "And hold the Beach!", "c": ["Amber"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "You know, she can put that mole anywhere on her face.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "You want to give Honest Abe another term in the Oval Office?", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "You crapped out, Vegas Mom!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Yeah. I'm sure there's poker games we can be won in.", "c": ["Ginger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "Well, it hurts now. But the senility will take care of that.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "You know, I have a son about your age.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 7, "et": "Brawl In The Family"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "A library selling books? If I don't want them for free, why would I want to pay for them?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "The full Leonard Nimoy cycle, I Am Not Spock, then I Am Spock, and finally, I Am Also Scotty", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "That's what we look like inside? It's disgusting! Oh. That lady swallowed a baby!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Helen Fielding's giving them pigs Bridget Jones' diarrhea", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "She said tavern! I'm going to Moe's! I never agreed to that rule!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Most clothespins swallowed, inserted... Here we go. Clipped to face and neck. 116.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "No. The best book you've ever seen is Tom Clancy's Op-Center. That thing knows me better than I know myself.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Francis of Assisi. Francis of Assisi.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Do you think I could run a mile in three-and-a-half minutes? Only on Mars. The Simpsons are going to Mars! So pack your... Or maybe I'll think of something else.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Only on Mars. / The Simpsons are going to Mars! So pack your... / Or maybe I'll think of something else.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Technically the cobra would get the record. He's the one playing.", "c": ["Record official"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Yeah. They're called Congress!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Like that town that made the world's largest omelet. Denver? No, Spanish.", "c": ["Official"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Finally this town will have a real claim to fame. Aye. We can stop all the lies.", "c": ["Homer", "Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "I haven't seen this much flesh since Elke Sommer's hot tub party. Seriously, Elke's great. Always there for sick kids. Doing great things.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "All right, I'll make base camp here and try for the summit tomorrow.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Dude, you're touching my hand! Ewe!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Goodbye, cruel world. Hello, ironic twist!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "I am so far from my car. Dude, you're lying on top of me! Dude?", "c": ["Otto", "Unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Springfield is the world's fattest town!", "c": ["Official"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Woo-hoo! In your face, Milwaukee!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "This town will no longer be known as 'America's Sorrow.' Today I declare Springfield 'Fat City, USA!'", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Now that everyone's so open about being fat, I can finally stop sucking in my gut.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Mom, we're out of Frosting Gobs. Here, have one of my fudge-stuffed toaster pies.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Yeah. You can't improve on nature.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Sugar-free donuts! No, that is sugar with free donuts.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Is my carton of Pixy Stix in? No, it hasn't come in yet. Damn it! When they come in, you call me at this number.", "c": ["Barney", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "everything in this store, from the honey-glazed cauliflower to the Choco-Blasted Baby Aspirin", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge. I'm not up on the current slang, but do the kids still say, 'Get the hell out of my office'?", "c": ["Garth Motherloving"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "While we're at it, why don't I just change my name back to Hitler?", "c": ["Garth Motherloving"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "But we're on hiatus. Everyone's everywhere. Note to Marge. Get out!", "c": ["Marge", "Garth Motherloving"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "If you looked up meanie-beanie-fo-feanie in the dictionary, you'd see his picture.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Were there Oompa Loompas? There was one in a cage, but he wasn't moving.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah! Like Erin Brockovich. The prostitute with the heart of gold.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Today's law schools are churning out 2.1 lawyers for every person in America", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Pick me! Pick me! Me so litigious! Pick me! I just passed the bar, see?", "c": ["Lawyer crowd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, I've made too many enemies selling suckless vacuum cleaners and Rick James Bibles.", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Sugar's made my Ralphie hyperactive. I'm happy and angry!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Sugar's made my Ralphie hyperactive. / I'm happy and angry!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Figure them sugar folk owe me for what they done to my cousin, Dia-Betty.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "I'm trying to slim down so I can fit into Momma's coffin. That's my reward.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Disco Stu got hooked on the white stuff back in the 70s.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "If it isn't the woman who's too busy saving the world to save her own marriage.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Why didn't you just turn off the oven? I was hoping we could do that together!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Out of curiosity, was it the hoyvin or the mayvin or was it the whole gahoyving thing that I do?", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Candy was just a sugar delivery system. We thought we were God.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "I'll kill you while you sleep. Objection! I'll allow it.", "c": ["Garth Motherloving", "Lawyer", "Judge"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "but I had to quit when my fangs succumbed to gingivitis. Now all my victims have to be mashed up.", "c": ["Count Fudgula"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Sir, this is a house of justice, not a sugar shack.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Thank you, Erin Choco-snitch! That was a group effort. Well, good work, Blue-hair-in-Brocko-witch. Okay, that was mine.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Even this promotional Johnny Depp from the movie Chocolat? We melted for him. Now he's gonna do likewise.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "It's not even singed. Even the fire doesn't want them.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "They're not riding the white horse anymore.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, you're licking blood and VapoRub. Part of me knew that.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "I'm a monster! Don't look at me!", "c": ["Count Fudgula"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Oh, you mean Tennessee? No, the island of San Glucose.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Dessert's on! I steamed some limes!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "I think he's grossed out by some seaweed. Ew! I touched it! Over.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Has everyone keistered their personal supply? 'Cause I sure haven't.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "No! I'm having one. Remember what I told you about running away from your troubles? Yeah. Let's do it!", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "This sugar shark is delicious. Ow! Hey, he bit me back!", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Indeed, Marge. And now that I think of it, I wildly exceeded my authority, and I declare the sugar ban over!", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "No, Marge. I love when you do that. You're a regular Caring-a-lot-ovich.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "Hey, I found some pearls. No, wait. They're just my teeth. Well, I can still make a necklace out of them.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 8, "et": "Sweets And Sour Marge"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Oh, they're showing the filling now. Can they do that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "What the hell is that? Rainbows. Tank tops. Empowerment.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "This is the gay pride parade! Woo-hoo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "We're here! We're queer! Get used to it! / You do this every year! We are used to it! / Spoil sport!", "c": ["Parade participants", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "We're gay. We're glad. But don't tell Mom and Dad.", "c": ["Parade participants"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Wouldn't it be great if that man and woman got together?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Cool! It's Lesbians of the Caribbean! Yo, ho, ho It's an alternative lifestyle for me", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Oh, a salute to brunch! Wave to brunch, Maggie.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Oh, look at those abs. Everyone here has a six-pack and I'm the only one with a keg.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Oh, God! Cover up!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Four tickets for Shenani-Goats!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "It may contain brief rudeness, adult explosions, and scenes with Garry Shandling.", "c": ["Movie rating announcer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "These are so easy. It's obviously Tom Hanks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Otm Shank. He is India's answer to Brian Dennehy.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "You suck! No wonder your parents are getting divorced!", "c": ["Movie trailer narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "The professor said not to let him get a boner!", "c": ["Movie character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I'm laughing! But it's a laugh of impatience! Show the movie!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "So many previews. So many previews. So many previews.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "If that's a phrase you like to hear, then you'll love Movie Call!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Well, if we wanted to live forever, we wouldn't have become ushers.", "c": ["Movie usher"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Hey, Dad, has the movie started yet?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I'm not scared of those ushers. What are they gonna do? Advance on me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Litter is my most treacherous foe. I would like to eat its children.", "c": ["Drederick Tatum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "My mouth. My beautiful mouth!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry. On a man his size, that just provides sexual release.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Hey, Dad, I'm gonna make a human yo-yo. If you object, clearly say no. No! No objections, eh? That's great.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Milhouse, you ready to imitate that Jackass show? All those disclaimers made me want to do it more!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Duffman can never die! Only the actors who play him!", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "What beverage brewed since ancient times is made from hops and grains? How about ancient hop grain juice? Beer! Beer! Beer!", "c": ["Duffman", "Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Ooh. Duff luck. I never would've figured that out. That's the kind of thing you just gotta know.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I am not gonna make you another sparerib smoothie. Most people with their jaws wired shut don't gain weight.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I was in the kitchen counting the corncobs on the curtains, when who should ring the doorbell but Ned Flanders.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Pardon my French, but sometimes that man's a goofy-doofy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Marge thinks Flanders is annoying. This marriage just got interesting.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "We were playing foursquare and I called no double taps, and Ralph double taps. And I said, 'You're out,' and he says, 'I can do a summersault,' which had nothing to do with anything!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Maybe a hug will cork her cry hole.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "So the substitute teacher comes in and says her name is Mrs. Doody, and everyone's looking at me like, 'Take it, Bart. Run with it.' Then it hits me. I've become a clown. A class clown. And it sickens me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Three wars back we called sauerkraut 'liberty cabbage,' and we called liberty cabbage 'super slaw!' And back then, a suitcase was known as a Swedish lunchbox. 'Course, nobody knew that but me.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Anyway, 'Long story short' is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "That donkey is such a bad influence on you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "A formal! The one place you can wear a tiara and not look crazy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "That's quite an ear. Have some money.", "c": ["Rich person"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Your husband is quite the gentleman. Most people laugh at my googly eye.", "c": ["Rich woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Well, I've never seen a man politely pass up so many hors d'oeuvres. My husband, Maxtone Witherball, has already had three shrimp!", "c": ["Rich woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Someone's done her henpecking.", "c": ["Rich woman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I'm horny.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I don't know what you said, but I'm sure it was beautiful.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "And Reverend, I'll put in those pec implants on Thursday.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I'll have to take off my shoes to cover the odor.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Hello? Yeah. I'd like to arrange for an escort, please. To where? How about Orgasmville! You... Hello? Hello?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I'm an alcoholic.", "c": ["TV producer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "My boyfriend has a metal tongue stud. Who cares what's on his tongue, as long as he's a stud where it counts! I'm talking downtown!", "c": ["Talk show audience member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "We'd be making love and he'd have a mouth full of Hershey's Miniatures. Krackel was my favorite.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I hope that was the only miniature in the bedroom. I'm talking downtown!", "c": ["Talk show host"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Ostrich burgers! Get your ostrich burgers! I'll take one. Okay. You pick one out and I'll punch it to death.", "c": ["Homer", "Customer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Dude, I thought we were friends!", "c": ["Ostrich"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Well, okay. For you, I'll be as dull as Dilbert.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "We're rehearsing a play. Yes, and I was merely reading the title, I'm Gonna Kill You.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I just poured myself a new glass of milk. The old one sat out for a little while.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Good, good, good, good, good, good, good!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Vendors, start your gouging!", "c": ["Demolition Derby announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Catch you later, radiator!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I hit someone. Then I taunted him. I've never felt more alive!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Don't hurt me! I'm not like you people! I'm loved!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "I caught a head! Oh, dang! It's been scooped out.", "c": ["Demolition derby participant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "This beer's deliskous. I'm gonna saves me wife.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "A man on a donkey! Never in my six weeks on the job have I seen the likes of this.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Looks like I needs some fuel for me mule. Gas for me ass.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "That's okay, Marge. You're a good wet blanket. The kind I like wrapped around me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "When Homer's jaw was crushed, crushed, crushed, his life took a nitro-burning funny turn! Oh, yeah! It's important to grow, grow, grow, but if you take it to the max, max, max, it's gonna get ugly! In the mud!", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 9, "et": "Jaws Wired Shut"}, {"t": "Ooh, Jar Jar, everyone hates you but me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Cool! Mom's on drugs. If we turn her in, we can get a form letter from Dick Cheney.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "You know how hard it is to get a doctor on Wednesday morning.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I haven't lost so much sleep since little Bartie had the scoots.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Here's what it costs. Interesting. Here's my counteroffer.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Get out.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Pedals, people!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "So Lisa, do you have a date for the harvest dance? This is not a good time! It's never a good time!", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Overnight bag, no husband in sight! It's happened!", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "She left Homer? I'll get the Champale. And let's get that ring off.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Great. We'll have a girls night. No bras!", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "It's a cable show about four single women who act like gay men.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "If I'm not having sex by the end of this goat cheese quesadilla, I'm gonna scream.", "c": ["TV character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I also enjoy sex.", "c": ["TV character"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Since this morning, I've had sex with a New York Knick, two subway cops and a guy who works on Wall Street. Broker? Nah, she's just really sore.", "c": ["TV characters"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "This is so like our lives. It's like they hid a camera in our apartment.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, start your envy!", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Artie made mega bucks with a revolutionary invention, a converter that changes that horrible modem noise into easy listening music.", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Also available with lyrics.", "c": ["TV announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Hey, computer geek / You will be connected in no time", "c": ["Singer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Well, he seemed like a sweet little shrimp. But then he turned into an octopus.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Artie! Artie, no! Stop! Marge. Marge, you know you can't resist my busy hands. Artie, get off of me!", "c": ["Marge", "Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Are you nuts? E-mail, female.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Dear Artie. Dear Hottie. Congratulations on your recent TV appearance. I want to sex you up. Your love slave, Marge.", "c": ["Marge", "Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "You can't use the word 'sex' on the Internet.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Watch me!", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "A note from Marge Simpson? Well, isn't that a coincidence? I was just thinking about her. For the last 20 years.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Hey, a helicopter's landing on our lawn. Let's approach with caution.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Unguarded breakfasts. The sweetest taboo.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "You can't spell party without Artie, if you misspell party. Or Artie.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Was it consummated? Pretty much, yeah.", "c": ["Artie", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Homer, don't talk with your mouth full. I've told you before, it's rude!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge! It's that guy who couldn't get any off you!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "It's like being married to my best friend, and he lets me feel his boobs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "How much sex would be involved? Because if it's some...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "You'll win her yet, Artie. I mean, Arr-tie!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "If we had Artie's money, I could get that snoring surgery. Plus at least two of those other surgeries I desperately need.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Just like I got used to saying 'Courteney Cox-Arquette.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "One squeaking spring symphony coming up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Wow! Homer, that was amazing!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Are you snoring while you're awake?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "And by funny stuff, I mean hand-holding, goo-goo eyes, misdirected woo, which is pretty much any John Woo film.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Your wife's virtues shall remain as untouched as Bill Gates' weight room.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I didn't sell her. I just rented her to an old boyfriend.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "That's gonna buy him a lot of swings in the old batting cage.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Even after I bought her that hockey fight tape?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "He's like a spy in the house of Moe.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Forwards? No. Backwards! To the sexy '70s!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I can't believe he's paying us a thousand bucks to pretend it's the '70s. Disco Stu is working pro bono.", "c": ["Band member", "Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Tonight you get the prom you always deserved.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "The band hasn't worked since the wrap party for James at 16. Some say they're cursed.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, it's our high school prom! And once again I have no date!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "And have you been drinking? Just for 25 years.", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Very well, Marge. I see you'll never feel about moi the way I feel about toi.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Oh, no! If Marge marries Artie, I'll never be born!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Stop looking at me! Keep dancing!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Oh, guys, it was horrible. I saw Marge kissing a far superior man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Well, if it makes you feel any better, he's probably doing her right now.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Make me the bad guy.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Send the bill to Baron Von Kiss-a-lot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Marge, if you're watching this then it means I've figured out how to work the camera.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Kiss me, Artie. With pleasure. Homer's a big jerk. Ooh.", "c": ["Homer with dolls"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Don't worry about the kids. I'll drop them off with Patty and Selma. Patty and Selma? Screw that!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I carved that one wonderful summer. What did Carl think? You know, we've never discussed it.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I'm gonna leave this world the way I entered it, dirty, screaming, and torn away from the woman I love.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Quick and pointless. That's the death for me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "But West Springfield's three times the size of Texas. We'll never find him there.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Does that work on anyone? No. But when it does, hello!", "c": ["Marge", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Looks like we're goners. Oh, well. Circle of life.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Listen to me, Homer! You've won! You own Marge's heart, and that's something I could never buy.", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "I can't take his money. Oh. I can't take his money. I can't print my own money. I have to work for money. Why don't I just lie down and die?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "Now, Homer, if there's one thing you should've learned from all this, it's that I'm rich, rich, rich! And now, I bid you adieu!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "He's a loser, Marge. Dump him! I travel the world and the seven seas I am watching you through a camera!", "c": ["Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 10, "et": "Half Decent Proposal"}, {"t": "No! The Olympics have preempted my favorite shows for the last time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "You wait till next month! You wait till next month!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Dad, you told me there were no private schools in Springfield.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "But knowing about it would make you want to go here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "10-4, Princess. Is that your beer tent?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Oh! Is that where Boozer drank the pee? / It's one of the places.", "c": ["Homer", "Headmaster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "And our school board's cut us back to 16. All of them lanthanides.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Here's your bond issue!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Principal Skinner, you're just stealing. / Welcome to Dick Cheney's America.", "c": ["Lisa", "Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Mr. Puck, you make the only grub what satisfies my gut worm, I swear.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "They are wasabi-infused with a portobello glaze. And you can buy them at the airport.", "c": ["Wolfgang Puck"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "I make mine with M&M's. / With M&M's? Now that's what I call fusion.", "c": ["Brandine", "Wolfgang Puck"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "No one's doing any bumping. Time to ram-a-lam these ding-dongs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "This is going right to the orphanage.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Homer's auction sabotage backfiring: wins $100 bill for $50, Ned donates it to orphanage", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Look at her cry! New money always cries!", "c": ["Rich bullies"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "The name is Jackington.", "c": ["Rich bully"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "To the Hamptons!", "c": ["Rich bullies"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Hey, butler, stop butling yourself.", "c": ["Rich bully"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "McBain, Officer Nick Vengeance, Sergeant Murder, and I was a voice on the Frasier.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Come. We play Uno. I chase you with hose. No biggie.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "In South Carolina. / Oh! I will not be a Gamecock!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Don't give them nicknames like 'Jumbo' or 'Boxcar,' and always get receipts. Makes you look like a business guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "One highway, zero city.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "If you don't shut your big yap, I will rip off your face and use it as a napkin!", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Wow! The Q-tip he used to kill Ross Perot.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Oh, it's okay. My bed is stuffed with hay. / (LAUGHING) Bart, you're so funny.", "c": ["Bart", "Greta"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "We shot this at 4:00 in the morning, and the crew was getting a little cranky. You can never get enough takes for Steven Soderbergh.", "c": ["Director voice"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Homer, I see your daughter is one of those whale-kissing, Dukakis-hugging moon maidens.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "He's my best friend because... Well, geographical convenience, really.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "I'm wearing my bathing suit under my pants.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Chuck. I live in his trunk.", "c": ["Chuck"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Oh, that's just Lara Flynn Boyle. / I have a Boyle on my ass!", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "I just hope the audience is kind because my material is weak, and I have that bladder thing.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "This is the biggest thing that's happened to me since chocolate milk! / They've got chocolate milk now?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Have you ever noticed how the dumb kids fill in the wrong circles?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "I think I heard California surfer.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Lisa, I only lied because it was the easiest way to get what I wanted.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Lise, women are easy. State capitals are hard!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Cockfight.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Lou, you can't leave the force! I can change! / I just think there's more money in private security. / All I'm hearing is I'm too fat.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "No. Let my muscles hug you.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Except he kissed me in the eye.", "c": ["Greta"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Canada? Why should we leave America to visit America Junior?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "It's so clean and bland. I'm home!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "American currency! What time would you like your breakfast, sir?", "c": ["Store clerk"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Oh, I see you drive on the left up here. / No, Ma'am. I'm drunk.", "c": ["Marge", "Bus driver"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "The geek shall inherit the earth.", "c": ["Canadian nerd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "My therapist said that's all I could ever hope for.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "Both our viewers must be thrilled.", "c": ["Canadian announcer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "I told you! I don't know how that scrunchie got in my hair!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "I can't believe I have to give her half my stuff!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "I can't believe we're on the Canadian Olympic Basketball team. / Yep. It's just that easy.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "How come you always run out of tardy slips before you run out of permission slips? / How come you suck?", "c": ["Student", "Kearney"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 11, "et": "The Bart Wants What It Wants"}, {"t": "A - ha! A free baseball!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.75, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "A shiny new dime! A shinier new dime!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Could you possibly eat some free ice cream?", "c": ["Ice cream vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Mom! A dog ate my clothes! Nice try, but we're still going to Riverdance.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "You know that new baby brother Ralph's been bragging about? It's just a pinecone.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Dad, it's a documentary on the homeless. Oh, right.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Really? Ooh! This I gotta see.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Bart's a goner. Anyone want to be my new best friend? I will! Great! Finally, I'll be the dominant one.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Ralph"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Be quiet. Yes, sir.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Ralph"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Ha-ha! Bart's family is poor!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Eat my short stories!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Hey, wait a minute. These animals are stuffed. Except that one.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "This one's from Gunfight at the Museum of Natural History.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Who? Yeah, that's right. Buck McCoy.", "c": ["Buck", "Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Who? Yeah, that's right. The David O. Selznick.", "c": ["Buck", "Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "and I ain't not no un-dummy.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "He soils as much as he cleans.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "And directed one. And he got the 'film by' credit.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Hi, honey. Where's that vicious dog? I made him a biscuit.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "He was bigger than opium!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Then Six Brides For Seven Brothers.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Just drinking, fighting and tripping horses with wires.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Me-tal.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Everything tastes better when it's lassoed!", "c": ["Buck McCoy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Now how the hell would I do that?", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "I guess you're not going to have an adventure this week.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "they're thinking of spraying your old man's workspace for ticks.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Horse-riding lessons, the finest makeup, delicious studio food.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "On top of which, I don't look bald.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Rattlesnake meat, varmint kabobs and refried whiskey.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Don't listen to them, Buck! It's an ambush! They're trying to jump your claim! Take him outside. I love you, Buck!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "One of the wheels broke off my chair today, but I didn't make a movie about it.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "It only lasted a year, but we did 360 episodes,", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Remember kids, Drunken Cowboy brand whiskey is smooth as milk!", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Well, that ad was aimed at children who were already heavy drinkers.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "It seems like all I did was shoot hippies.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "The Western went the way of the evening newspaper and polio.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "We can have showdowns at the schoolyard and use nerds as Indians.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Hey, you're not fun, you're fat!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "I'm Kevin Costner in one of his Western roles! I'm a gulch!", "c": ["School children"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "So I guess you could say this barely qualifies as news. I'm Kent Brockman.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Can't keep it in", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Oh, good, you worked in Judge Ito.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "They're dead? No, they just got lousy jobs.", "c": ["Marge", "Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Let's see, Texas or Massachusetts? Texas.", "c": ["Buck McCoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Ooh! Right in the panhandle!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "And he's already given out all his cheers.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "We don't take kindly to transvestite chimpanzees here in Pine Corners!", "c": ["Buck McCoy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Oh! Like you're so perfect with your plastic mane and your painted-on spot. What's real on you? Nothing!", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Did I forget to mention I'm an alcoholic?", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "This is horrible. My spit-takes all have blood in them.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Sorry don't suture my colon! And you're off my show forever!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "That painting is made of liquor.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Gold! Gold! Beautiful gold! Nuggets as big as your fists!", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Well, I don't see how it is. Nobody's even told me your name yet.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "A hero! A hero! A hero!", "c": ["News reporter"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "And you're no Howard Hawks.", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Whoa! There's nothing wrong with a little 'hey-hey!'", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "I'm firing at the lasso, but the bullets just go through the middle!", "c": ["Bank robber"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "It's the ultimate weapon.", "c": ["Bank robber"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Well, there's Krusty, Itchy, Scratchy, Poochie, America's Fire Fighters, and then you, Dad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Goodbye, Bart! Never bother me again!", "c": ["Buck"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 12, "et": "The Lastest Gun In The West"}, {"t": "Homer crashes the car during opening sequence - D'oh! (SCREAMS) (BRAKES SCREECHING)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Not now, Marge. I'm waiting for the new XFL season! / The 'X' is for 'Extreme.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "There is no XFL this year. The league folded. / (EXCLAIMS) Who told you? / Last year's MVP. He sweeps up toenails at the beauty parlor.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Last year's MVP. He sweeps up toenails at the beauty parlor.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Your parent... Abraham Simpson... is dead. / Complications of a medical nature. The nursing home was not responsible.", "c": ["Automated Voice"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "And he never even lived to be a vegetable.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Sure, I said I loved him, but never that I was in love with him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "What's got into you punks? / The home told us you were dead. / Me? I ain't dead. It was Stamson down the hall.", "c": ["Abe", "Simpson family"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "So much for Mr. I Can Button My Own Shirt.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll call you or send you some fruit.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm Zelda. I put the 'ass' in assisted living.", "c": ["Zelda"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Abe Simpson's the name, and now that you're here, I'm changing my instructions to 'do resuscitate.'", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Hey, who's the tall drink of Maalox?", "c": ["Elderly woman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Eh, that's Zack. He's as smooth as a 50-year-old behind.", "c": ["Elderly resident"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "It's got a wheelchair lift. (ALL EXCLAIM) (ALL BREATHING HEAVILY)", "c": ["Zack", "Elderly women"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Is this the Dairy Queen? (MOANING)", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "But Zelda, if you're looking for something with a big backseat and a lot of gas, I'm your man.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "You've never heard Garrison Keillor till you've heard him through five speakers.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "You sunk my Scrabbleship. / This game makes no sense. / Tell that to the good men who just lost their lives. Semper Fi.", "c": ["Bart", "Abe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "That was a DWI!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Statistics show that old people drive at least as well as sleep-deprived apes.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Dad, get up. / No, I'm dead. / Dead! / Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead!", "c": ["Homer", "Abe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Woo-hoo! And I want driving gloves. / No way! / Dead, dead, dead, dead!", "c": ["Abe", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Leo, slow down. That looks like a nice place to eat. / Carla's daughter works in that building.", "c": ["Elderly driving students"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "You know, it's kind of ironic. These old people are being kept alive by the organs of the young people they ran over.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "That's my seeing eye. The right one's my winking eye.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "I'll give you your license if you never do that again. / Oh, everything's the last time I do everything.", "c": ["Patty", "Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Oh, no. I'm not giving you my car. You'd probably drive it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Wow, a booth. If I'm tired, I can just lie down.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "This is the best party of my life. / Bro, you tapped the septic tank.", "c": ["Teen", "Teen"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Movies were better in our day. For a nickel you got two movies, a cartoon, a bag of popcorn and a whipping. Kept your mind on your business.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Save your breath. Seriously. / Well, I gotta do something before the Viagra kicks in.", "c": ["Zelda", "Abe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Hey, I've earned their trust. / Oh! Everybody trusts Lisa. Precious little Lisa. Apple of her daddy's eye.", "c": ["Lisa", "Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "She's no hoochie. Her name is Zelda and she understands me. / Grampa, I gotta tell you, she's a stone-cold hoochie. / Straight up, Marge. That hoochie only likes you because you can drive.", "c": ["Abe", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "He is your dad. / Cosmic.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "I'll take one, Achu. / No, not 'chu,' 'pu.' / I got troubles with both.", "c": ["Customer", "Apu", "Customer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Finally the shakes are working for me.", "c": ["Elderly customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Your scrapings have landed on my jacket from Planet Hollywood, Orlando.", "c": ["Tough guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "I should cut you like I cut sodium out of my diet.", "c": ["Tough guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Los Souvenir Jacquitos!", "c": ["Gang members"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Some sort of death race? / That's what I would do.", "c": ["Abe", "Bystander"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "What are you scared of, old man? / Everything. Dogs, Dutchmen, the gathering darkness.", "c": ["Gang member", "Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "When I yank down my girlfriend's tube top, the race will begin. / What? I'm just trying to bring you into my world.", "c": ["Gang member", "Gang member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "I would rather die than have people not know what stores I have been to.", "c": ["Gang member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "We're the baddest punks in our age bracket!", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "My beard. I broke my beard.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "I've booked us a room for the weekend in Branson, Missouri. The Gritz Carlton Hotel.", "c": ["Zelda"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "I'll always think of you as my friend without a car.", "c": ["Zelda"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Zelda, I'm gonna make you forget about your grandchildren.", "c": ["Zack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "And if I go to prison, I'll get better food and more hugs.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "It's The Itchy and Scratchy Hour, presented by Hansen's Moustache Wax, the moustache wax Hitler doesn't use.", "c": ["Radio Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "During the war, Eleanor Roosevelt was the voice of Scratchy. / The lady knows funny.", "c": ["Abe", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, when he does something bad, he's my father.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "These are hobo signs. They're to tell other hobos if a place is friendly or not. That one means good vittles. Sexy daughter. Mass hobo grave in cellar.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "No, pally. This is Bronson, Missouri. / Well, how do we get to Branson? / Number 10 bus.", "c": ["Local", "Abe", "Local"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Hey, Ma, how about some cookies? / No dice. / This ain't over.", "c": ["Local", "Ma", "Local"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Was it drugs or a car crash Or facelift gone wrong? No, they're right here in Branson And singing this song", "c": ["Branson performers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Tennessee Ernie Ford? Now, I know you're dead. / No. You just think I'm dead. / No, you're dead. I was your biggest fan. Look, I clipped your obituary.", "c": ["Abe", "Tennessee Ernie Ford"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Oh, no, there's gambling. We just have to find it! / Look, Mom, it's your car. / Bet you they're not. Three to one. How much you got? / Mom, you're hurting me.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "It's Captain Bringdown and The Buzzkillers.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Nobody dumps Abe Simpson. You're nothing but a hoochie. / (CHANTING) Hoochie, hoochie, hoochie!", "c": ["Abe", "Audience"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Son, can you forgive an old fool? / Only in public.", "c": ["Abe", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "In Russia, stage is for performers only.", "c": ["Russian performer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 13, "et": "The Old Man And The Key"}, {"t": "Overdue book? This is the biggest frame-up since O.J.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. Blood in the Bronco, the cuts on his hands, those Jay Leno monologues! Oh, my God! He did it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "I checked that out when Bart was born. I was gonna read to him every day. What happened? Stuff kept coming up. Mostly car-related. Piece of crap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "I decide who reads and when!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Homer's Odyssey. Is this about that minivan I rented once?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "That minivan had the biggest cup holders. And change slots for every coin, from penny to quarter.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Dad, I loved it, too, but it was seven years ago.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Hi, odiddily-Odysseus!", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "I think I speak for all the Greeks when I say this war has gone on for too long. I'll say. I'd really like to go out and get the mail.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus", "Flanders"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Anyway, over torture, one of your soldiers mentioned that you collect giant wooden animals. We hope you don't have a horse. Well, I don't have one from you. Bring it in!", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus", "Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Now throughout history, when people get wood, they'll think of Trojans.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "What are you laughing at, Dad? If I'm laughing at what I think I am, it's very funny.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Aw, look at them. Sleeping like little angels.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Remember, just 'cause their heads are off, it don't mean they're dead.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Forget it! Sacrificing animals is barbaric. Now have the slaves kill the wounded.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.57, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "You fat lush. You just destroyed Atlantis. You used to be fun.", "c": ["Zeus", "Poseidon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Where's the Zeus who used to turn into a cow and pick up chicks? He grew up. Maybe you should, too.", "c": ["Poseidon", "Zeus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Greece is the word.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Is it 'vase' or 'vase'? You gonna be asking that the whole trip?", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus", "Soldier"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, I must be wasted, 'cause it looks like that cloud is mad at me.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "On the island Island of Sirens Our hot sex Will leave you perspiring Hey, that's kind of catchy.", "c": ["Sirens", "Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "It's coming from that island. Let's steer heedlessly towards it. Heedlessly it is.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus", "Sailor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Boy, if they kiss as good as they lure, wow! On the island We'll sex you up", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus", "Sirens"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Oh, God! They're hideous! Someone gouge my eyes! Save me from the ladies!", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Discus Stu has ouzo for twozo.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "I'll leave you guys alone. Discus Stu was talking to you.", "c": ["Penelope", "Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Ain't I a stinker?", "c": ["Bugs Bunny"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.14, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Boy, who decided to give every weirdo an island?", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Well, I was in the mood for something bubbling. Out of the way, slim.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "That pig looks like Lenny. Hey! Mmm. That's the next best thing to eating Lenny.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus", "Lenny-pig"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Those were my friends? Yes. I've been saying that for hours. That's it! I'm going home!", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus", "Circe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "You must go through Hades, crossing the River Styx. You're my lady Of the morning", "c": ["Circe", "Singer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Oh, this truly is hell!", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "When we came here, Helen of Troy was hot! Now look at her! This is the face that launched a thousand ships, the other way.", "c": ["Suitor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm sorry I was gone so long, but I'm gonna do something I haven't done for 20 years. Take out the trash!", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Sweet Penelope, you're just as beautiful as you were when I left. Oh, I can't stay mad at you.", "c": ["Homer as Odysseus", "Marge as Penelope"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Brave Odysseus, it's been 20 long years. Regale me with tales of your adventures. Quit suffocating me. I'm going to Moe's.", "c": ["Marge as Penelope", "Homer as Odysseus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Ooh! Did you say Joan Van Ark? No, Mom. Joan of Arc. It's never Joan Van Ark.", "c": ["Grandpa", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "This one takes place in a make-believe kingdom called France.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "The French were fighting the English in the Hundred Years' War, which was then called Operation Speedy Resolution.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "She's talking to her invisible friend. God.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "I have chosen you to lead the French army to victory over the English invaders. But I'm just a little girl. I know. I have three eyes. Now get cracking.", "c": ["God", "Lisa as Joan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Victory? We're French! We don't even have a word for it!", "c": ["French General"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Joan, give me your dessert. That's just you, Bart. Joan, give me your dessert! Yes, sir.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa as Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "That's going straight to my five thighs.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Huh? No, un. You know, French for 'one.' Well, you keep switching back between French and English. Just fire the damn thing.", "c": ["French Soldiers"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "My fault this time. I didn't tuck in my legs.", "c": ["French Soldier"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "With modern ideas, like putting bigger, harder people in the catapult. Or, how about rocks?", "c": ["Lisa as Joan"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Shouldn't we help her? Yeah, right behind you, Lou.", "c": ["Lou", "Eddie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Hello, hello, hello. What's all this then? It's a little bird with a knife, isn't it? What a thing to happen!", "c": ["British Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "You are the true dauphin. You had this impostor try to fool me to see if I was truly sent by God.", "c": ["Lisa as Joan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Bravo, Joan of Arc. You are as brainsome as you are toothsome.", "c": ["King"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Vibrate for me, footstool.", "c": ["Quimby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Uh, God says we should just be friends.", "c": ["Lisa as Joan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "I wouldn't say King Milhouse is a loser, but that's the 12th girl he's struck out with this week!", "c": ["Jester"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Their concept of individual rights could undermine the power of our beloved tyrants!", "c": ["French Soldier"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "I want my mommy! I captured a wee girl! I'm the greatest hero in English history!", "c": ["Lisa as Joan", "English Soldier"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, you two-timing spot of light. You told me to lead the English to victory!", "c": ["English Judge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Well, I never thought the two of you would be in the same room, actually. This is a little embarrassing. Goodbye now.", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Burn this guy! He lost a good bucket!", "c": ["Angry Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Huh. Getting kind of hot around here.", "c": ["Lisa as Joan"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc. They got married and lived in a spaceship. The end.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Well, that's easier to chew than that Bambi video.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Steven Bochco could kick Shakespeare's ass!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Cool. Does he get to marry his mom? I don't know, but that would be hot.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Looks like you've returned from the buffet. Why, you little... D'oh!", "c": ["Bart as Hamlet", "Homer's Ghost"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Yeah, that was quite a weekend.", "c": ["Marge as Gertrude"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "It's cold outside. You'll need a sweater. A sweater!", "c": ["Homer's Ghost"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "And if your idea of a first date is burning down her village, you just might be a Viking!", "c": ["Comedian"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Note to self. Kill that kid.", "c": ["Moe as Claudius"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Hey, do you have diarrhea? I have diarrhea. Sit down!", "c": ["Moe as Claudius", "Audience Member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "I didn't use that much poi, son, at the royal luau.", "c": ["Moe as Claudius"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Well nobody out-crazies Ophelia. Hey, nonny nonny, with a hoo and a haw, and a nonny nonny hey!", "c": ["Lisa as Ophelia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "I hide behind curtains 'cause I have a fear of getting stabbed.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum as Polonius"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "I need you to avenge my death. I like revenging!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum as Polonius", "Ralph as Laertes"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "If Hamlet touches either of us, he's dead. Booyah!", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Boy, did I bet on the wrong horse.", "c": ["Moe as Claudius"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "You sure you don't want a nice piece of fish, or to finger the drapes a little?", "c": ["Moe as Claudius"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Remember me as a peacemaker.", "c": ["Moe as Claudius"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "No way I'm cleaning up this mess.", "c": ["Bart as Hamlet"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "Son, it's not only a great play, but also became a great movie called Ghostbusters.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 14, "et": "Tales From The Public Domain"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Nice follow-through!", "c": ["Scratchy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Now that's what I call a moon shot.", "c": ["Itchy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Dad, that line was in the cartoon. I'm pretty sure it wasn't.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Boy, did you make a prank call to Brazil? No, sir. I didn't. Choke on your lies!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Which phone company? There are hundreds of them. And they all keep changing their names.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "I think we're with Comquaaq. No, I think its Niagular. No, last week they became Vertiqual.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Wow. Everything is so high-tech. Dialing Murray Hill, 5-6-3-0-9. So, I says to Myrna, I says, 'That guy's a bum!'", "c": ["Homer", "Phone operator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Thank you for dating Mr. Movie Phone. Our evening will be rated R, for brief nudity.", "c": ["Movie Phone"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm a sexual predator.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Fine! I'll cut off your ponytail! Homer! Marge, it's called negotiating.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Why must you fight with every utility? I told you, I have too much time on my hands.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "We tried, but a recording said you were a bunch of deadbeats.", "c": ["Carl/Lenny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "That's it! They have awoken a sleeping giant. Crazy scheme, crazy scheme, crazy scheme. Get me tools and beer! Yes!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Let's try the red one... Let's try them together... How did I get here?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Let's try the red one again. Oh, not again!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "The one I didn't make and Marge didn't make and Bart didn't make and hence, no one in the house made. Uh-oh.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Don't you know the boys from Brazil are little Hitlers? I saw it in a movie, whose name I can't remember!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Well, then they started pressuring me for more donations, and you can't hang up on a nun. That's right. They have powers.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Aw! He's so adorable. Can we have another baby? No way! I still haven't lost the weight I put on from the last one.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Now the monkeys cannot bite me. I am like sugar to them.", "c": ["Ronaldo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "How many people live in Brazil? A hundred and fifty-six million. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Fine. I want to meet monkeys.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "It's really cheap if we change planes in Phoenix, Honolulu, Sun City and East Saint Louis, spend a night in a haunted house and leave right now.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "And I'll have been on every continent. Except Antarctica. The Simpsons are going to Antarctica next year. This year, Brazil.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So, in August, it's cold? That's right. And in February, it's hot? So, it's opposite land! Crooks chase cops, cats have puppies.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "No, Dad. It's just the weather. So, hot snow falls up? Yes. Woo-hoo!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Well done, Bart. But in Brazil, they speak Portuguese. Forget every word, boy. It's useless. But, Homer... I said forget it! All gone.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Fernando, you make that joke every time. It was that joke that made you fall in love with me.", "c": ["Flight attendant", "Fernando"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Wow. It's like he's on the dashboard of the entire country.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Take me to the hotel / My hands are on a guy's ass / Boy, this dude must work out", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Look, Marge. I'm Brazilian!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Bert and Ernie left it to your imagination.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm Chiquita Banana and I'm here to say / I will eat this Toblerone and I will not pay", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "What a charming neighborhood. Mom, these are slums. The government just painted them bright colors so the tourists wouldn't be offended. Works for me.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "There he is! Oh, wait. You said brown hair, right?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Ooh! They look like Skittles!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Have you tried looking for him? That's plan B.", "c": ["Marge", "Nun"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Can you fly me over town to look for him? We nuns cannot fly. Oh, too much junk in the trunk, eh? Yes.", "c": ["Homer", "Nun"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "You know I'm a vegetarian. But you're on vacation, honey. I'm not wearing my wedding ring.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Excuse me, Americans! How did you know?", "c": ["Brazilian", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "How did you know? There is a dress code on this beach. But we can help you.", "c": ["Homer", "Beach vendor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "I feel so European. Huh. Mine keeps disappearing.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm in Rio / and I'm walking on the beach / I'm in my Speedo / No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "We are now developing our most powerful dance, the penetrada. It makes sex look like a church!", "c": ["Samba instructor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "You can't protect her forever! You stupid lady!", "c": ["Samba instructor"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Ronaldo? You know him? No, no. I was just distracting you while my children robbed you.", "c": ["Brazilian man", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "My American friend, I'm afraid that this is a kidnapping. So that means I don't have to pay the fare? I suppose... Woo-hoo!", "c": ["Taxi driver", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "No. It smells like cinnamon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "I have a bladder the size of a Brazil nut. We just call them nuts here.", "c": ["Homer", "Kidnapper"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Clockwise! Counter-clockwise.", "c": ["Teleboobies"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Kidnapped. Oh, my God! What are we supposed to do? I don't know. Wait for the call.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "I don't think there is a boy or a husband! I think you have a thing for me. I've been shot!", "c": ["Detective", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "I don't know. They've been seeing me alive for free for a long time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "That's very nice, honey. That'll buy you one of my legs or something they call a mystery bag.", "c": ["Kidnapper"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Hmm. Well, I'm high on sheep embryos, so I am feeling charitable.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Hey, Moe. Homer, listen. I need 50 grand. Don't ask me why. No, no. I need 50 grand! I asked you first! Fine. I'll send you 50 grand. Thanks.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Go suck a Bible!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "You cannot run from Carnival! Because even running is a kind of dance!", "c": ["Carnival performer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "You cannot run from Carnival! Because even running is a kind of dance!", "c": ["Carnival participant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "But I didn't know what state you lived in. It's a bit of a mystery, yes.", "c": ["Ronaldo", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "I make as much as Malcolm in the Middle. And because I have no parents, my earnings remain unstolen.", "c": ["Ronaldo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Listen, I made a little scrapbook to remember the kidnapping. Look. This is that cigarette butt you burned me with. You slept like a baby that night.", "c": ["Homer", "Kidnapper"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "He has the Stockholm syndrome. He has come to identify with his captors. They let me stay up all night!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Look at all that pink and purple. Our money sure is gay.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "It was Homer's idea. You say no to that face.", "c": ["Kidnapper"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Because I've learned that no matter how bad I screw up, you'll always bail me out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "Don't be sad. It's Carnival! Whoopee!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 15, "et": "Blame It On Lisa"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Same old garbage", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "This guy's always on!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "This corn doesn't look so big. / That's baby corn. / What?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "They're all grown by the vegetable division of Union Carbide", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Mom, my potato is eating a carrot!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "I've tried heckling them. I've tried jeckling them.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "\"... in God, the Father Almighty Creator of heaven and earth... \" Shoo! Shoo!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "\"Heaven and earth... \" Where were we? Now I'm lost.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Yeah, I did it! Marge is in the house!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "I will be soon. Because it needs some cleaning!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "I'll regroup at Red Lobster.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "You ain't pretty no more!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "This ain't no crow bar! This is a crow bar! See? They got the little stools and everything.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "That's Russell Crow, Cameron Crow, Crow Diddley, Hume Crow-nyn, Gregory Peck.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "It's a murder, honey. A group of crows is called a murder.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Drop it in! Don't cram it in! Forget it! I'll do it myself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "That is not a worm!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "They weren't trying to blind you. They were just trying to drink your sweet, sweet eye juices.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Does it go in the butt?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Prescription pot. Texas THC.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Homer, for your eyes, the best tonic is chronic.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Uh-oh. Crotch the weed, man.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "For me, the '60s ended that day in 1978.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "But isn't marijuana, or \"dope,\" illegal? / Only for those who enjoy it.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Do you want the wizard or the skull?", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "\"Caution, objects may appear more edible than they actually are.\"", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "They burned down the gambling house / It died with an awful sound", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "I am hungry for a candy bar / I think I'll eat a Mounds", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "And now I'm guilty of possession! I could go to prison unless I testify against you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "I could walk up to the president and blow smoke in his stupid, monkey face! And he'd just have to sit there grooving on it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Marge, I just realized I am the \"ow\" in the word \"now.\"", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Hey, it's me. I've got Marge on the other line and she is totally bumming me out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Daddy's special medicine, which you must never use because it will ruin your life, lets Daddy see and hear magical things you will never experience.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Dad, it's 1:00 a.m. and I'm out of saliva!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "This dude does the best Flanders! You got the mustache and the \"diddily!\"", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "\"Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?\"", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Well, sir, of course he could. But then again, wow, as melon-scratchers go, that's a honey-doodle.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "All right, Simpson, you're under arrest, see? / I said Wiggum!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "\"And so, potential investors, I hope you don't think our IPO is an IPU.\"", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "I told you, I pissed it away! Don't make that face. / Yes, that's the one.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Oops! I thought this was the can, man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Working hard or hardly working?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "No, Smithers. I would've said anything to get your stem cells.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "You're covered with a very fine fuzz.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "I just got promoted, and it's all thanks to \"Yes-I-cannabis!\"", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "You mutton heads! This is why we can never hold down a job.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Hey, \"Shemp\" is \"hemp\" spelled backwards. / And \"Otto\" is \"Otto\" backwards!", "c": ["Otto", "Otto"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Marge, I'm gonna need 10,000 veggie burritos! / No guac in mine.", "c": ["Homer", "Otto"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Dude, your mom is hot.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Whoa! This guy is seriously ill. / My doctor never told me that. I had to hear it from Phish.", "c": ["Phish member", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "My doctor never told me that. I had to hear it from Phish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "And now, a man who's a real pothead. I'm sorry. 'Pothead.'", "c": ["Rally speaker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Whether you suffer from glaucoma or you just rented The Matrix, medical marijuana can make things fabulous, medically.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Oh, man! They already voted! And we lost! / Oh, man! I can't believe we spaced on the date!", "c": ["Homer", "Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Well, we can't just stand here staring at our hands, although... Wow!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "They call them fingers, but I never see them fing. Oh, there they go.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "I could've smoked that pot and worn that hair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "You know, I'm not really sure what I want.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "As long as you're doing things for me, would you tie up your bathrobe when you walk around the house? / Never!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Remember when I dropped my keys and you thought the phone was ringing? / Yeah. / Get out.", "c": ["Otto", "Homer", "Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Going cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Yeah. But at the planning party, I got alcohol poisoning. I nearly died. / I was already making excuses not to go to your funeral.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "My sperm count is up, and I'm able to recognize simple shapes and patterns. / Dad, you just said that three minutes ago.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Unregardless, I will no longer be a slave to this!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "I'll either tickle your ribs or feed them to my dogs!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "What do you take me for? Lorenzo de' Medici?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "You know, Louise Brooks, the silent star of Lulu.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "This stuff can make anything funny, even that show that follows Friends.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "This suit used to belong to Judy Garland. We could sing a song if you don't mind being Mickey Rooney.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "You mean that guy on 60 Minutes who yells all the time?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Sixty minutes? Oh, my God! Mr. Burns has been in the tub for an hour!", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Oh, Mr. Burns! You were too beautiful for this world.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Oh, man. Oh, man. We killed Mr. Burns! / Mr. Burns is gonna be so mad!", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Michael Eisner's been dead for five years. Ted Turner's just a hologram.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "\"It depends on what the meaning of 'was' is, jerk!\"", "c": ["Bill Clinton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "He's Jimmy Carter with a Fox attitude!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "It's true we're losing money. But there's no reason we can't dance, dance, dance the night away!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Those strings pulling me every which way jostled my heart from its slumber.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Oh, and you didn't? Well, the worm has finally shown its fangs!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Smithers, make me slap him! / You call that a slap? Make me slap you. / Now, both. / Now, just you. / Now, give me a taste. / Now, both again. / Now, all three.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 16, "et": "Weekend At Burnsies"}, {"t": "Hold it right there, Forrest Plump!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Oh, behave!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Luke, I am your father / Shagadellic", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. I didn't ask for your life story.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Things started out great. I ate what my mother ate.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Let go! Let go!", "c": ["Baby Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Hey, Pete! Pete! They fixed the Coke machine!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Jack and Jill went up the hill and... Jill came tumbling after. The end.", "c": ["Abraham Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Say, how about a little NyQuil?", "c": ["Abraham Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Why do birds suddenly appear / Every time you are near?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "She's mine!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "You just won yourselves a motorcycle! Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Game show host"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "You know, all this danger is kind of a turn... Okay.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "The day we got our elephant.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "While I wait for my family, I'll tell you about the time my baby shot my boss.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Hey, that's great, but I gotta get going. / Whoa! There's a whole 'nother row of these bad boys!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Get off the road, you freaking maniac! / Yeah, you jackass!", "c": ["Random drivers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "What? I can see fine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "That had nothing to do with the bucket.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "All my other senses are getting sharper. / Bart, you had pizza for lunch. / Lisa, you're extremely depressed. / As if.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Kathleen Turner! / No! It's me, Krusty!", "c": ["Homer", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Are the proceeds going to charity? / Hell, no! / Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Homer", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "We're all here tonight for one reason. / To keep Homer away from the buffet!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Who's Mark Spitz? / What's a telegram? / Oh, forget it!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Joy to the world, the Lord is come! / Season's greetings. Peace out.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Oh, that hurts!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? No. (repeated)", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Yes! / Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Dad.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Isn't this that cartoon that causes seizures?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Max Power, he's the man whose name you'd love to touch / But you mustn't touch", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "I like pizza, I like bagels / I like hot dogs with mustard and beer", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "I could even eat a baby deer", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "I'm kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Just look at all of his catastrophic nincompoopery. / Poop.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Audience member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you gentlemen, but you seem to have me confused with a character in a fictional show.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Carbon dating!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Sweet Toledo! What's keeping that dress on? / The collective will of everyone in this room!", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson", "Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "You fruits wouldn't know what to do with me!", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Nothing at all. Nothing at all. / Stupid sexy Flanders!", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.56, "im": 9.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Ow! My legs! This is the worst pain ever!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Oh, dear! You have ruined my work, you flying fat man!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "I want to sneer at God's creation and spit on his... / Uh-oh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Hey, Abe, you want to hook up after the show? / Yeah! To a suicide machine!", "c": ["Agnes Skinner", "Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "I'm sick of your lies! Secrets and lies!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "The Camptown ladies sing this song / Homer Simpson's breath is strong", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Our planet has been observing your puny species since your planet was created 5,000 years ago by God.", "c": ["Alien"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Because he is the fat, selfish epitome of modern man! / Hey, he stole my bit!", "c": ["Alien", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Le grill! / What the hell is that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Why? Why must life be so hard? / Why must I fail in every attempt at masonry?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "These are not tears! We are vomiting from our eyes!", "c": ["Alien"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "They'll never stop the Simpsons / Have no fears / We've got stories for years", "c": ["Ensemble"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "Sorry for the clip show / Have no fears / We've got stories for years", "c": ["Ensemble"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 17, "et": "Gump Roast"}, {"t": "How many of you children have gone out to your car and found a flyer on the windshield? Are you the guy that puts them there? No. I'm his assistant. But one time he was sick and he let me do it. I totally screwed it up.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten", "Student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "That's it. I see. Well, we still have 56 minutes left. Any questions?", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Do you know Mom's getting re-married? What? But she... I think we should probably talk about that later, Son. No. You might as well talk about it now.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "I can't stare at those lifeless fisheyes anymore!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Yes. Seamus. Ninety minutes of watching a man drink in a bathtub.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "What? This is your doing, Willie! I'll turn your groin to pudding! You speak like a poet, but you punch like one, too!", "c": ["Seamus", "Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "We have a special this month. Mr. Blackwell debates Mr. T. Oh, please. I've seen nicer chains on a set of snow tires. I pity the fool who derives self-esteem from mocking other people's clothes. I hate myself.", "c": ["Speakers Bureau Rep", "Mr. Blackwell", "Mr. T"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "I pity the fool who derives self-esteem from mocking other people's clothes. I hate myself.", "c": ["Mr. T", "Mr. Blackwell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "And in a gutless act of political correctness, Pizza Day will now be known as Italian-American Sauce Bread Day. Now that's sensitivity. Right, Giuseppe? Giuseppe is such a happy monkey.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "I hope this is important. I've got a hot date tonight. With Sarah Jessica Barker.", "c": ["Danger Dog"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "The mayor's barf is worse than his bite.", "c": ["Danger Dog"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Le mot juste.", "c": ["Danger Dog"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "If you freeze the frame, you can see that the chunks of barf are actually pictures of our animators and their friends.", "c": ["Geoff Jenkins"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Why does Danger Dog mean more to me than school or church? Because those things suck.", "c": ["Student", "Geoff Jenkins"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? This is the easiest job in the world. I spend most of my time eating candy and going to R-rated movies.", "c": ["Geoff Jenkins"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Kids, all I ever did was sit in class and doodle. Like this one. It's what your principal would look like as a woman.", "c": ["Geoff Jenkins"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "I won't stand by while you're glamorizing sass.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "I'm called Ralph.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "My heart is pounding like Thor's hammer on Dr. Doom's titanium-infused faceplate!", "c": ["Stan Lee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Hey, aren't you the guy who was stalking Lynda Carter?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "The term is 'courting.' The restraining order says, 'No, no.' But her eyes say, 'Yes, yes.'", "c": ["Stan Lee"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Did I say 'Spidey'? I meant stinky. 'Nuff said.", "c": ["Stan Lee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "My Spidey sense is tingling. It's that good? Did I say 'Spidey'? I meant stinky. 'Nuff said.", "c": ["Stan Lee"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Stan Lee insulted me. But in Bizarro World, that means he likes me.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "I like Little Dot. Could you rip that off? I mean, who's gonna know? I'd know, Mom!", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "That little girl sure loved dots.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Homer fighting with a lawn chair, getting angry and yelling 'D'oh!' while Bart watches and draws", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "This'll teach that stupid chair! I'm on fire!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Visual: Homer violently fighting with lawn chair, getting increasingly frustrated", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "I hope no one's drawing this!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Oh, I've been there, man.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Oh, I've been there, man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Instead we bring you The Boring World of Niels Bohr.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "A couple of stink lines around his butt, and I'm done.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "'Argh! I'm angry.' That's like something my dad would say.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "It's a composite character. Your dad, my dad, a little of Maggie's dad. No. It's just Dad.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Maybe Angry Dad needs a sidekick, Know-It-All Sister!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Your penciling is sub-Ziggy and the main character is off-model in every frame. However, I deem this rack-worthy.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Your penciling is sub-Ziggy and the main character is off-model in every frame. However, I deem this rack-worthy.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "But only Batman fits in my Batmobile. Are you nuts? The Thing fits in there perfectly. Look. He's fitting right now.", "c": ["Child", "Stan Lee"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "But only Batman fits in my Batmobile.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "You broke my Batmobile! Broke? Or made it better?", "c": ["Child", "Stan Lee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Stan Lee never left. And I'm starting to think that his mind is no longer in mint condition.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Bin Laden in a Blender", "c": ["Internet Producer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Well, it delivers what it promises.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "How is your company gonna make money? Do you have a business model?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "How many shares of stock will it take to end this conversation? Two million. It is done.", "c": ["Internet Executive", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Woo-hoo! When do I get paid? In 2012. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Book that animal that always chomps on my groin. Susan Anton? No, the lemur!", "c": ["TV Executive"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "I especially like his white shirt and blue pants.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "You're the Internet's number one non-porno site. Which makes you ten-trillionth overall.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "We're just rehearsing The Motion Picture. How'd you like to be played by John Goodman? That's so obvious. It should be Gary Oldman.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "I'm a rage-aholic. I just can't live without rage-ahol!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "I'm a rage-aholic. I just can't live without rage-ahol!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "If you ask me, you should give up fatty foods. I said anger!", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "If you ask me, you should give up fatty foods. I said anger!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "God said to Noah build yourself an arky-arky / Animals came on by onesies and twosies-twosies / Elephants and kangaroosies-roosies", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Looks like the bubble burst. Bubbles can burst? Yeah, but it's a golden age for the repo business. One that shall never end.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Repo Man"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "What's 52 million times zero? And don't tell me it's zero!", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Dirty diapers on strings!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Homer mad! Homer smash! Get revenge on world!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Thank God his pants stayed on.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "He can't be the Hulk! I'm the Hulk! Please. You couldn't even change into Bill Bixby.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Stan Lee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Ha-ha! You love a boy! Stop it now! If you love me so much, why don't you marry me? That's a good one.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 18, "et": "I Am Furious Yellow"}, {"t": "Some special time. I get to stand around watching you sell fatty poisons to overfed Americans.", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "You'd think that would deter me, but no.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "The porno magazine buyers are too embarrassed to make their move.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Cleanup in all the aisles.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "In a Civil War reenactment, we need lots of Indians to shoot.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy or customer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "I don't know which part of that sentence to correct first.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "The Indian rope trick has become the Indian nope trick.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Oh, take a penny, leave a penny.", "c": ["Squishee Lady"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Don't go Mary Todd on us.", "c": ["Homer or Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "One drink won't hurt... Hey, you're right. I was afraid it would start me drinking again, but it didn't!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "The second battle of Springfield was fought by the North, the South, and the East to keep Springfield in, out of, and next to the Union, respectively.", "c": ["Civil War narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Now, the actual battle was fought over there where that man is standing, but he won't move, so we'll do it here.", "c": ["Civil War narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Bang, bang. Pow, pow. Hit with stick. Hit with stick. Die, you bastard.", "c": ["Civil War reenactors"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "For me, the war is over! This battlefield is rife with inaccuracy.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "You, dead people, stop playing cards! And Stonewall Jackson, stop rollerblading!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "The South will boogie again!", "c": ["Stonewall Jackson reenactor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Truly, you are the greatest generation.", "c": ["Speaker at Memorial Day"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Keep it coming, Brokaw!", "c": ["WWII veteran"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "You're damn right, it is! You can't thank us enough! Every generation stinks but ours!", "c": ["WWII veteran"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Not the pointed end, you dumbass!", "c": ["Civil War reenactor"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Well, then you're definitely not going to like my steam-powered super spider. With the stepping and the squishing and the webs made of nylon.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Why do you always take the side of local merchants?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Now, Apu, when you gave me this keg, it had dents. And here's proof.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "That giggle is none of my business, or is it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Squishee Lady, you've had less than eight kids, haven't you? Haven't you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Please do the Hindu that you do so well.", "c": ["Squishee Lady"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Nothing. Nothing. There's nothing eating me up inside.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Oh, I hope no one makes any double entendres.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Oh, Apu, you keep scoring while my back is turned. Are you sure you're not cheating?", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Are you sure you're not cheating?", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Dirty love. I mean 30-love! I mean, anyone for penis? Tennis!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "I'll just get the shuttlecock. Oh!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "You're not in any physical pain, the only kind of pain a man can understand.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "What would that accomplish? That guy's hilarious. His reaction would be priceless.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "That's sad. All those kids. I think he's building to something.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Let's say this pepper got married to this salt shaker, and along comes sexy Mrs. Dash.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Watch and learn, you dinks.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "I saw you and that Squishee Lady canoodling like junkyard rabbits!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Is that Windex? It's Windelle. I can't afford Windex.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Whoa, ha-mahatama, hatama, hatama, hatama, hatama, hatama, hatama.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "How can you even accuse me of repeated infidelity?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Oh, Apu, scratch and win! Mmm! That's good adultery!", "c": ["Squishee Lady", "Apu"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Caramel baloney.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "If you don't like losing at cribbage, stay out of my place.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "No, no! I'll let you win. I'll let you win. God, I'm really lonely.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "It's a pleasure to eat your lead, good sir.", "c": ["McBain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "You might hear from your friends or co-workers that Apu isn't living at home anymore.", "c": ["Homer or Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "You can run, but you can't glide!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Is it my husband's whore?", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "I order you to get back together or I'll suck your blood! Blah, blah!", "c": ["Bart as Ganesh"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Or should I say blandoori?", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "These are divorce papers! Consider yourself served!", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Can I lick your fingers? Meet me at the mail slot.", "c": ["Fudge delivery guy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Because legally, I am allowed to shake him by the ankles and see what falls out. It's established in the case of Lawyers v. Justice.", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "No offense, but you remind me of the monkey man who slaughtered my family's chickens.", "c": ["Manjula"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "When will you humans learn that your feelings, as you call them, can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?", "c": ["Lawyer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Mommy... Will... You... Let... Daddy... Come... Back? Cookie!", "c": ["Octuplets"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "All right! Girls night out! Exotic male dancers at the Golden Banana!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Then I shred the list and put it in his food.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "First I was a tiger, a snake, a clod, a goat with a hat, then me. A tapeworm, then assistant to Lorne Michaels!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "First I was a tiger, a snake, a clod, a goat with a hat, then me. A tapeworm, then assistant to Lorne Michaels!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Number four, legally change name to Slime Q. Slimedog. Number five, wear nametag that says same.", "c": ["Manjula reading list"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "My Smooshie tastes like a shopping bag. Mine tastes like dog fur!", "c": ["Customers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "He is hideous. Oh, a challenge!", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "I bought the issue for Richard Avedon's pictures of Lenny.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "I liked all the roles filled by minority actors. Why, I didn't even notice.", "c": ["Theater patron"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Thank you very much, you big fat blabbermouth! I... Sorry, sorry. It's been a rough month.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Don't worry, I soaked it in the toilet to soften it up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "Don't worry, I soaked it in the toilet to soften it up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 19, "et": "The Sweetest Apu"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Don't worry. You can win them back if you stick the landing.", "c": ["Gym Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Lisa, gym isn't just about encouraging fitness, it's also about exposing weakness!", "c": ["Brunella"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "She's the only child keeping this school accredited. Without her, we'd have to release these children back into the forest.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Skinner, I took an oath! And by Xena, this girl's failing gym!", "c": ["Brunella"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Well, I know a coach. But he's tough. He defected into East Germany.", "c": ["Brunella"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "For next exercise, put hands on hips, jump out window, and go tell parents to stop wasting my time with failure child!", "c": ["Lugash"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Who wants to put on a leotard and get screamed at? Well, hookers and Spider-Man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "President Kennedy appears to motivate Lisa", "c": ["JFK"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Well, I can't argue with the man who wrote Profiles in Courage. Yes. Uh, I wrote it.", "c": ["Lisa", "JFK"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Thanks! I'll see you in heaven! Uh, yes, uh, heaven.", "c": ["Lisa", "JFK"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Ich bin ein gymnast. Aw, she must've dreamt about Hitler again.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Two ration stamps and an artillery shell full of oleo!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Liberace action figure. Party tonight at Roddy McDowall's.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "A mosquito? How'd that get in there?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Laziness is counter-revolutionary. Questions are decadent! Fast hands mean less whipping.", "c": ["Lugash"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Skeeter bites are good luck. Scratch it and you get a wish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "I don't feel so good. Can you take me to the hospital? Finally we're doing something I want to do.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Just relax. Think of floor as full of snakes. You fall, they kill you! Relax, relax. And snakes!", "c": ["Lugash"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Here is your cat back, good as new. I had a dog. Is cat now.", "c": ["Lugash", "Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "God give you greatest gift. Big head like beach ball made of bone. Gives you perfect balance.", "c": ["Lugash"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Rest your giant head. I am Lugash.", "c": ["Lugash"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "You're reading Gravity's Rainbow? Re-reading. Sorry. What are you guys talking about? I was making fractals.", "c": ["College Students"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "I had a dog. Is cat now.", "c": ["Student", "Lugash"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Of course. Where do you think I go? Baby school?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "See you tomorrow, Lisa! We find out what five minus three is!", "c": ["Lugash"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Why do people run from me?", "c": ["Lugash"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "And they don't have a Blue's Clue. Whoops. Gotta age it up. Life sucks. Totally.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Well, Bart's kind of... No!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Who's Mom? That's what we call the gay guy who lives with us.", "c": ["Tina"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "I take a whiskey drink I take a chocolate drink And when I have to pee I use the kitchen sink I sing the song that reminds me I'm a urinating guy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "It can't be mange. I just had him dipped.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Contagious? Outrageous! I got me some teachers to lick.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "I don't like how many times you said 'normal.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Help me! You'll get the hang of it, honey. Today's just a little gusty.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "She'd have to be where she lives. That place had a Manson Family vibe.", "c": ["Carrie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "My bubble, my rules.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "That is called parenting. I'm going to Moe's.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Now open your minds for the Coltrane of the quatrain, the Tony Danza of the A-B stanza.", "c": ["MC"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "I just checked out at Atherton Library! I study there! Say another building!", "c": ["Pinsky", "Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "I'm in a coffee house listening to poetry. There's a cat on a table and no one seems to care. This is the single greatest day of my life!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "So I'm walking by the Oval Office. And I hear the President, 'Pinsky, where's my poem?' Well, I thought it wasn't due till Tuesday. So I make one up. I am just pulling stuff out of my ass.", "c": ["Pinsky"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "You won't eat our meat but you glue with our feet.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Lisa Simpson, master of the double life.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "You're like my mommy after a box of wine.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Give me your lunch money! But it's after lunch. It's just an expression. Like 'kick your butt' could involve no kicking whatsoever.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Martin"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Never fear, the sphere is here!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "When nerds are in trouble, I am not slow. It's spin, spin, spin, and away I go!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Once he's gone, they'll kill us!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "That young adult is Lisa! She's up to something private! Let's go spy on her!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Yes. And birds go 'tweet.' What else?", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "What about Lisa? She's only eight!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "I can't believe I cheated off an eight-year-old.", "c": ["College Student"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "She's worse than that 80-year-old who pretended to be a freshman. I just wanted a place to sit down.", "c": ["College Student", "Elderly Person"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Doogie Howser went to college when he was my age. Against my wishes!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "I put those Cathys on the fridge for you. I don't even like them. They've gotten so smutty.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Homer, Cathy is a woman. Oh, come on... You're right.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Hey, Einstein. What's a million plus a million? Two million. So?", "c": ["Nelson", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Don't let them get to you, lass. I'm too good for this place, too. Now run home to your shack. I live in a house. Well, la-dee-da, college girl!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "I was trying to throw Bart over the roof and he got stuck in this tree.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Call me! The bubble makes everything shimmer and glow. You can't believe what that sunset looks like to me. That's not a sunset. That's a bird on fire.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "To-may-to, to-mah-to.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "All you gotta do is play a prank on the principal. Well, I can't do it tomorrow. There's an assembly in his honor.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Ew! Bart! It wasn't me.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.76, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Did they have to guess the date of my death?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "When I was starting out, they said, 'You're good. But are you 'plaque' good?' Well, today I can say, 'Yes, I am.'", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Yeah, I got a question! How dare you wear white?", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Now normally I wouldn't go near a giant chocolate cake in my dress polyester. But with Bart Simpson safely encapsulated, I'd be delighted to pose.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "I've been taken down a peg. A whole peg!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "Does this thing suck or blow? Suck!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 20, "et": "Little Girl In The Big Ten"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "If you ask me, Muhammad Ali in his prime was much better than anti-lock brakes. Yeah. But what about Johnny Mathis versus Diet Pepsi?", "c": ["Barney", "Carl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "I cannot listen to this again!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "A meditative lily pond with big, beautiful fish that fry up really good", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "You don't even have to feed the fish, 'cause squirrels drown in it", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Put a mini-beret on your wang", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "This'll really help with my speed dating. I got 400 no's", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "How much money did he piss away on this?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "That caterpillar is screaming", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "What he needs is a visit from kindly old Doctor Foot", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "You're about to kill an endangered species, the screamapillar", "c": ["EPA Agent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Reversal of Freedoms Act of 1994", "c": ["EPA Agent"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Without constant reassurance, it will die. It's sexually attracted to fire", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Are you sure God doesn't want it to be dead? Hey, what's God gonna do? Make my wife leave me again?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "If he wants to sleep with us, forget it!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Once upon a time there were three bears. The end", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I crushed that horrible bug! What should I do?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Bury it, quickly, before anyone finds out", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "I'm gonna tell! The hell you will!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Now we're in it together. There's no going back", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Then why don't I hear any sleep screams?", "c": ["EPA Agent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson, for attempted insecticide and aggravated buggery", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Duffman's pension has been mismanaged! Oh, yeah!", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "That party-hearty attitude is a registered trademark of the Duff Corporation", "c": ["Corporate Lawyer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Lousy community service! Meals on Wheels! Eat it up or I go to jail", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "You smell like cobbler. Now let's not get into who smells like what", "c": ["Elderly Woman", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Please don't kill me! I won't tell anyone about the skeleton!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "And I could bring you more victims! Like Lenny! He'd go great with wild rice!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Oh, don't be such a nervous Pervis", "c": ["Mrs. Bellamy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Oh, Homer, I feel like I'm talking to Bennett Cerf", "c": ["Mrs. Bellamy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Yeah, I've gotten a lot of compliments about my talking", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "And I can ride my bike real fast", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Hey! I'm not running an employment service, you old... Oh, you mean me? I'd be delighted", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Hey! I'm not running an employment service, you old... Oh, you mean me? I'd be delighted", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Marge, I can't say no to a helpless old lady. They put spells on you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "All I have left of my Chester is his tattered old Army jacket", "c": ["Mrs. Bellamy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Darn her socks? I say darn her!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Oh! She would fall there!", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Hey, who do I have to gum to get a refill?", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Don't you read enough at school, bookworm?", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "The Missus prefers you call me Simpson", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "So it's a good thing she died, from our point of view, financially", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Did you do it? Chief Wiggum! Homer and I are innocent! I'm sorry, Marge. I can't believe I tried to trick you with such an... Did you do it? No!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Does that ever work? No. No, never does", "c": ["Homer", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I'll be back on the streets by dinnertime. You'll see", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Yeah. If Dad killed everyone he talked about killing, would any of us be here? You'd be dead a million times", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Well, we've all got that voice in our heads telling us to kill. You just have to drown it out. I've been working on the railroad all the livelong day", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Oh, man. What a day! I'd kill for a beer. Right away, sir. I don't want no trouble", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "I'd stab somebody for a pickle. Give me some peanuts. You didn't say you'd kill me. I'll kill you if you don't give me some peanuts", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Next on the Springfield Death Tour is the home of Marge and Homer Simpson, also known as 'H-Diddy and his Murder Ho.'", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Go away! Wait, wait! That's a suggestion, not a threat", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "You've been through my delicates, my silkies, my dainties, and my unmentionables!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Because I can just swipe it later from the evidence locker!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "You know, Chief, if you let us go, there's a diamond necklace in it for you. I hope you're not suggesting that I would take that necklace as a bribe. Think again, dirtbag. Because I can just swipe it later from the evidence locker!", "c": ["Homer", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Marge. I'll cut us a deal by becoming a jailhouse snitch. I know who stopped up the toilet", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "From now on, you're Dingus Squatford Jr. and Pamela E. Lee", "c": ["Foster Father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Young'uns, meet your new brother and sister. They's worth five dollars a day county money. I'm Bart. And this is Lisa. Them's city names. From now on, you're Dingus Squatford Jr. and Pamela E. Lee", "c": ["Foster Father", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Verdict? Is that what we were supposed to do? Well, in all my years on the bench... 'Cause that's what we did!", "c": ["Jury Foreman", "Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Can't you do anything? Surprise witnesses? Evidence tampering? Play the race card! Play it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Well, then I hope you enjoy your stay in hell", "c": ["Priest"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Oh, go home and have sex with your wife! That's it. Bring it on!", "c": ["Homer", "Priest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "This cannon is gonna be full when I go off. Ka-boom!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Just think of them as twinkling stars", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "I want to confess. I killed and robbed the old lady all by myself. Marge is completely innocent. The only thing she's guilty of is loving too much", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "The only thing she's guilty of is loving too much", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Give me your hands, boss", "c": ["Prison Guard"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "The governor says he hopes you're a twitcher!", "c": ["Warden"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "You're on Frame Up! That's right. Homer Simpson, you're the latest victim of the new reality show, Frame Up!", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "There never was a Mrs. Bellamy. Only me, Carmen Electra!", "c": ["Carmen Electra"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Frame Up is Fox's latest hit, right after No Pants Island and Fart Date!", "c": ["Host"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "You tied up the judicial system, costing the city millions of dollars, just for a TV show? Yes. And I'm gonna be in the show? Yes! Can Eddy and Lou have producer credits? Yup!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Host"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "We were in the greenroom. I had so much shrimp", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "Uh, Homer. My face is up here. I've made my choice", "c": ["Carmen Electra", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 21, "et": "The Frying Game"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "So hot. So sticky.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 3.97, "im": 3.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Ah, the old folks. It happens every heat wave.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Okay, people, out of my freezer! But we're hot and elderly! I'm sorry, these are reserved for the recently deceased.", "c": ["Apu", "Elderly customers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "This air conditioning is better than any truant officer. I'm seeing students I haven't seen in years.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "We're wasting more energy than Ricky Martin's girlfriend. Hey-oh!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 4.63, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, our city's sucking down the juice like my wife at an open bar.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "We've siphoned off extra power from the orphanage. Who are they going to complain to? Their parents?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Lisa, if we start conserving, the environmentalists win!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Every time Santa and I get together, it's a disaster.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I heard tonight they have Ed Bradley versus Mister Ed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I got some yuppie jerkoff headed right for me, yakking away on his cell phone. I hear that. I got some big shot barreling down on me. Hey! Who are you talking to? Your boyfriend? Hey, jackass! Your voice sounds familiar!", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I don't hear an alarm. Let's take stuff. Whoa! Isn't that stealing? No, it's just looting. Sweet. Let's go nuts.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Mannequins. You can't buy these!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I think what the viewers want to know, Arnie, is, is my house okay? You mean, is your giant castle okay, Kent? Don't hate me because I bought at the right time, Arnie.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Arnie Pie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Oh, no! They're stealing the tire fire!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Finally, some repression.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "All right, everyone! Disperse immediately! We are prepared to use force! What, what? We're not prepared, Eddie?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Eddie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Someone call 911. Oh, they never come.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Look at those looters breaking windows, setting fires! They're living my dream, and you won't let me join them!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Please, can I throw one little... No. What if I just burn down a... No. Can I at least incite further... No.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Can I have a beer? All right. But not the imported. Homer? You've got to set limits, Marge. No beer!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Get your T-shirts here! 'I survived the Springfield riot!'", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "This be a superball.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "We called them men. I agree with the hideous crone! Yeah! Hear, hear! She's ugly!", "c": ["Grampa", "Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. Blame the victims.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "A committee? Did he say blue-ribbon? Committees don't get any better than that. Man, am I appeased.", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Yeah. Wiggum couldn't catch cooties at Milhouse's birthday party.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Oh! Seriously, everyone says your parties rock.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I won't feel guilty until I can put a human face on this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Marge, doesn't Lisa have a human face? Yes, and she's crying.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "They couldn't catch a cold with a cold-catching thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "See, when you don't use Milhouse, it's hard. I love this kid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "See, when you don't use Milhouse, it's hard. I love this kid.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Dad, that's Bart.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Look at him over there, eating that apple. What's he planning? What?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I think they demean women! Well, think again, son. You're going to juvie. But I just got out of juvie. Good! 'Cause I need directions.", "c": ["Teenage Boy", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I felt like a big man pushing that kid around!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Cheese! That's muy picante!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "You know, I've had a lot of jobs. Boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation Krusty, baby-proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carny, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country-western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe and missionary.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Finally, a way to combine my love of helping people with my love of hurting people!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "You'll do as I say, or I'll have your badges! Once I make and give you your badges.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "A monster! Is this you? If it is, don't dial 911. Simply dial 636-555-3472.", "c": ["TV Commercial"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Friend? The only friend you need is SpringShield.", "c": ["TV Commercial"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Monster put in wallet.", "c": ["TV Commercial"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Green vegetables and homework.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I didn't know my chin went that far up. Oh, yeah, that's the pride.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Even dessert? Dessert is three desserts.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Behind these doors are the finest cops ever to wriggle into size-46 pants.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Wiggum? Am I getting warmer?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. It was better the other way. Police? Uh-oh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "You can let me go, but I'll just keep exposing myself at the mall.", "c": ["Otis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "What a character.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Dad, make him stop! Well, according to this, he's telling the truth.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "One of these ferrets is wearing a wire.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "You're not a pet and you're not a friend. You're nothing to me.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Daddy, how come you're not at work? I don't know. How come you're not at school? My teacher says she's tired of trying. Yeah, well, so am I, Ralphie. So am I.", "c": ["Ralph", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Last year, I was Jar Jar Binks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Oh! Well, I'd love to help you, Homer, but I have too darn much to live for. I just discovered Thai food.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I'd help you, but I have yet to kiss a human girl.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "And I've got a TiVo full of unwatched Dharma and Gregs.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Sorry, Homer. I'm a coward now, like all recovering alcoholics.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "In one car? With no air conditioning? And the little poop machine going every 20 minutes?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I ain't sayin' nothin'. Who says I have a mother?", "c": ["Johnny Tightlips"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I mean, you could be a pizza man, organ grinder, leaning-tower maker, and did I say pizza man?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "You are listing my broken dreams.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I finally did a job where I wasn't lazy, stupid, or corrupt and now I'm going to get killed for it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Yeah. You can kill me, but someone will take my place. And if you kill him, someone will take his place. And that's pretty much the end of it. The town will be yours.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I see a lot of things. You know, you could be a little more helpful.", "c": ["Johnny Tightlips", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "That's funny. Because this is how I got the job the first time.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "Hell, they would've taken my squad car if I hadn't hid it under some hay.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "She's just like Clark Kent. When there's lots of excitement, she's nowhere to be found.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 13, "e": 22, "et": "Poppas Got A Brand New Badge"}, {"t": "I'm all for Halloween fun...but a seance sounds a little PG-13.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Chill out, dudes. It's me, Bart Simpson.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Maude. You still look as pretty as the day I buried you.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "But someone made me too many pancakes...and now I have to sleep them off.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Oh, those were for the Church breakfast. Were they now?", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Its webbing is a mesh of comfort and evil.", "c": ["Hammock Salesman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "You had me at 'comfort.'", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Mm-hm. Hmm, Mr. Hammock, say hello to Madam Ass. Unh!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Hmm, no bellybutton. Shuttle's in the hangar.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Homer Clone"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Eh, he had a good run.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Chores? Me need clone.", "c": ["Homer Clone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Outfit good, flatters butt.", "c": ["Homer Clone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Then after World War II, it got kind of quiet...till Superman challenged FDR to a race around the world.", "c": ["Homer Clone"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "FDR beat him by a furlong. Or so the comic books would have you believe.", "c": ["Homer Clone"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Me good dad.", "c": ["Homer Clone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Me not notice.", "c": ["Homer Clone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "It would take three clones to beat the original Homer. Hmm. Huh, I mean four.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you have to leave a credit card. No problem. Discover okay?", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Twenty-three.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Now, before I abandon you in this cornfield...does anyone remember the way home? I do. Anybody else?", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Homer Clones"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Ah, look at that corn. Old Gil's hard work is finally paying off. Well, at least I got my health.", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Like comedy clubs in the late '80s, these ravenous clones are everywhere.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "They've destroyed every building in town...except Moe's Tavern, which is reporting record business.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Now, uh, who's gonna be picking up the tab? Lenny. Anything for Homers.", "c": ["Moe", "Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Currently the, uh, Vietcong...I mean, the, uh, Homers are occupying these areas.", "c": ["Military Official"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Thank God. And you said we shouldn't let little girls in the war room. Look, I was wrong, okay?", "c": ["Wiggum", "Unknown Official"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "No bellybutton? You're a clone. Then the real homer... First over cliff.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Homer Clone"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "My Homie's dead? How will I go on? You like back rub? Oh, well.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Lisa has a dead boyfriend. He's not my dead boyfriend. He is a dead boy who happens to be my friend.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Or a frustrated novelist.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I can't live without passion.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I can't live without passion.", "c": ["Snake Jailbird"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "That's what I like about this job, you learn stuff.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Now all I got is my enormous genitals.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Now all I got is my enormous genitals.", "c": ["Moe Szyslak"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "The bumps tickle my bottom.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Looks like the only guns left are in my cold dead hands.", "c": ["Billy the Kid"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Looks like the only guns left are in my cold dead hands.", "c": ["Billy the Kid"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "He ain't no cowboy. Sure I am. Yippy, wippy, wippy. Okay, he's in.", "c": ["Jesse James", "Kaiser Wilhelm"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Now, let's rob the bank, give the money to the poor...then rob the poor and shoot the money.", "c": ["Billy the Kid"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "That's piano! I said, 'pian-ee.'", "c": ["Billy the Kid"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "These are horrible ghouls from the past. Hey, so are the Grammy judges. Ha-ha-ha, ugh!", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Oh, dear. Poor William Bonney might have become a doctor or a senator.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Future Daddy needs to double kill these corpses...so they won't come back as zombies and... Get him!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Another tragedy prevented by gun violence.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "What is this, open mike night?", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "What is this, open mike night?", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Hey, what could be more fun than an island shaped like a big smiley face?", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Yes, completely mad. About providing topnotch vacation values. Ha-ha-ha.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Ha, ha. I've been around Scotsmen.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Well, one activity you might enjoy is not asking questions.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Think what Shakespeare might've accomplished...if he'd had the eyes of an eagle or could spray stink on his critics.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Now, who'd like some turkey? It's a lovely nerd...I mean 'bird.'", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "'House of pain.' This must be where you pay the bill.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Why am I always so funny when no one's around?", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "And I've never seen you use your tail like that.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Which I have to admit, I sort of suspected during the sex.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Hate to be a needy Neddy, but could you do me a favor? Milk me.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Ooh, that's nice. You're actually quite gentle when you wanna be.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "We prefer 'Italian-American pigs.'", "c": ["Guinea Pig Hybrid"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "'Eat my shorts'? Why, you little...", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "It's great. I haven't been this skinny since high school.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Makes you think.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiii"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, I'm at work. You gotta pay for it.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Series of notes from family members taking Homer's money", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Fine. There are plenty other ways for me to alter my consciousness.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Are you gonna buy those toads or just lick them? Lick them. Go away.", "c": ["Store clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Thanks for the donation, Mr. Simpson. Do you feel okay? Jewish? Oh, no, I'm not Jewish.", "c": ["Charity worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "He's gonna plotz.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. I guess I got caught up in all the glitz and glamour.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Uh, I don't care about the color of your skin, Lenny.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Can you say the alphabet backwards? Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Hey, you want my keys? Get them now, jerks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Good morning, everybody. / What's for breakfast, cutie? / Homie, it's 5 p.m. We're having dinner.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Wait. Was last night the night we set the clocks ahead eight hours?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "I had to tell Mr. Burns you had violent diarrhea.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Oh, couldn't you come up with a less embarrassing lie? But you did have violent diarrhea.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Nobody open the hallway closet until I say it's okay.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "It was, uh, some kind of a light rail.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "I will, Dad. That's why you're my favorite.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Hey, can you keep a secret? I hate disco.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "It's all I've talked about for so long, people think I'm a one-note guy.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "I had no idea Disco Stu was so complex.", "c": ["Taxi driver"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Oh, you know, I'm a guy at a place.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "How'd you get such a crappy job? You a convict or a junkie? Little of both.", "c": ["Taxi driver", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Wife and two or three kids.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Pretending not to remember so you could surprise us.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Then there's those other days where you just wish you never got married or had kids.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Dreams of being a rock star, or a photographer for Playboy", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Then, bam, some babe gets her claws in you", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Boom, you got a bunch of kids that always needs love.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "But as coffins go... Please don't say anymore.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "A place where you'll never be bothered by your family again.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "For once in my life, I'm confused.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Even though you knew I ratted you out to the IRS... you never busted me. You what?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Without the lawsuits and STDs.", "c": ["Mick Jagger"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Rule number two, no outside food. Oh, what a gyp.", "c": ["Keith Richards", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Not today, I got a ton of paperwork to catch up on.", "c": ["Mick Jagger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "I even took some pills I found on the floor.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "But he's just like you or me or Jesus over there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Out of my way, nerdlinger.", "c": ["Unknown camper"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Did you hear that, people? Apu asked about crotch stuffing.", "c": ["Lenny Kravitz"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Now, I don't do it. Kenny Loggins does. I trusted you!", "c": ["Lenny Kravitz", "Kenny Loggins"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "We've gotta start using a cheaper oatmeal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Look, everyone, Homer's got it. I'm so hot for me", "c": ["Brian Setzer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "When you said it in Springfield last year, you didn't mean it? Yeah, sure I did. But only because Springfield really is the wildest town in the whole damn world.", "c": ["Homer", "Keith Richards"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "She's worried about the state of public schools... She prays that our schools don't run out of chalk", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "They're bloody cardboard. We know.", "c": ["Keith Richards", "Groupies"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Really? You really think I'm better than you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "It came with a pick.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "I was so close to being a rock star but now, there's a chance it might not happen.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "But I like it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "It's like you're Kid Rock and I'm Pamela Anderson Lee Rock.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Wait. You misspelled 'guitar hero.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "You're testing my love for you, You're checking to see if I'm true", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "What am I, the lost and found?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "You're supposed to be reckless and destructive and be celebrated for behavior that would land normal people in jail.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Rock 'n' roll! Woo-hoo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 2, "et": "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"}, {"t": "Oh, I hate reality shows. / A year ago, you said they were the greatest thing that ever happened to us. / I've grown. You haven't.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "So, Kevin, I hear you collect amusing postcards. / Uh, yeah, it all started when... / Touch the stove. - Aah!", "c": ["TV Host", "Kevin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "I can't take any more of these shows. If I wanted reality, I'd finally have this lump looked at.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Networks love reality shows because they don't have to pay writers or actors. / Stupid writers and actors, priced yourselves right out of the business. Nice going, geniuses.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Let's get one of those satellite dishes. Then we can stop suckling on the six-network teat. / Get back, honky cat. Those systems are too expensive.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Come on, kids. Daddy knows a way to get some money with no risk. / [Cut to] And the winner by a nose is No Risk. Woo-hoo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Can you be home from 8 a.m. Monday morning through June? / No problem.", "c": ["Installer", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Boy, that's jim-dandy roof candy. / I'd love to come over and watch that Church Channel. / I bet you would. / Oh, you'd win that bet.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "I'm spending all my money on religious pay-per-view. Or as I like to call it, 'pray-per-view.'", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Damn your sparkling wordplay. And bless your humble home.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Oh, it's red wire to red wire. What idiot dreamed that up? / And the Lord said, 'Let there be crap.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Cool. It's the NBC News feed. / Mm, feed.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "We'll be right back with a special report on soccer moms who hate soccer.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Oh, Lord, I'm so fat, aah. [VOMITING]", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Do you like my new shirt? It says, 'Reggae Hairstyle Rock 'r Roll.' Could I be more Japanese?", "c": ["Japanese Chandler"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "You are the emperor of last year. Your comeback shames me.", "c": ["Japanese Joey"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Coming up on The Clock Channel: 6:00. / Wait a minute, I saw this one.", "c": ["Announcer", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Hey, I don't have to study on the weekend. / It's Wednesday night. / Kids, kids, you're both right.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "We're back with Who Wants to Marry an Internet Billionaire? Uh, no, millionaire. Oh, well, now he's broke.", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "I made a pie. / Put pie here. / Would you like some ice cream with that? / Me not pig.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "We now return to Robo Trouble. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, Robot Rumble.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Why are we fighting each other? Together we can defeat the humans and rule the Earth. / I agree. / Sucker.", "c": ["Robot 1", "Robot 2"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Homicidal robots. So like us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Bart, the test is in two hours and you haven't slept in a fortnight. / What's a fortnight? / You should know. It's on the test.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "No pressure, children. These test results will follow you for the rest of your life and beyond the grave.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "This test is boring. What else is on?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "It's finally happened, Bart. You've lost your mind.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Now, let's raise the roof for the bland informative rap of M.C. Safety and the Caution Crew.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "I say a crosswalk, a cross-ity walk / And don't stop crossing / Till you're on the next block / First you look both ways / Then you walk not run / Obeying safety rules is acceptable fun", "c": ["M.C. Safety"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Watch out, Beatles.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "She's not so great. She got diarrhea when we went to Carlsbad Caverns.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "What? I gotta be in the same class as her? / What? I gotta be in the same class as him?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Hmm? They're gonna be in the same class as each other?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "An old Army buddy is visiting Mannix?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Lisa comes to us from Miss Hoover, while Bart was taught by Mrs. Krabappel. Slut.", "c": ["Third Grade Teacher"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "A rooster sits on a roof facing north. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? / Okay, the sun rises in the east, so the rooster would probably wanna lay it on the cool side... / Roosters don't lay eggs. They're boys.", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Young man, you're not in this class. What are you doing here? / Laughing at jerks.", "c": ["Teacher", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Quiet nerds burp only near school. / Dogs eat barf solely on Wednesday, Mabel.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Bart: 'Dogs eat barf solely on Wednesday, Mabel.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Bart: 'Canada's governors general: Clowns love haircuts, so should Lee Marvirs valet.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "What's this weird mark next to my A? / That's an A-minus. / Mm, minus?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "You did better than me? / Eh, I took this test last year. The answer key never changes. B-C-B-C-A-A-B-B-C-C-D. False. False. True. William Jennings Bryan.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Young lady, in the third grade, we don't care for tattletales. / And we don't care for moaners either. / Sobbing only pushes Bart's grade higher.", "c": ["Teacher", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Kids, look what I got you for your third-grade field trip. Matching fanny packs. Now your fannies match.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Saying your buddy's name out loud is a security risk.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Punch buggy red, un. / Punch buggy white, un. / What's punch buggy? / When you see a Volkswagen Bug, you punch somebody and yell the color.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Various Kids"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Punch buggy taupe. / Oh, that really hurt.", "c": ["Boy", "Another Boy"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Now, children, if you look up at the capitol dome, you'll see a mural of our state bird, the pot-bellied sparrow, eating our state pasta, bowtie.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "The Capital City Goofball? / That's right. To win, he spent 80 million from his own pocket.", "c": ["Bart", "Tour Guide"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Homework on a field trip? What have you been huffing?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "He thinks he's really cool. But frankly, the other kids are starting to wake up and smell the cooties.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "When I get through with that flag, it's gonna be a Bart-mangled banner.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "That was my worst unfurling ever.", "c": ["Governor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "You weren't on this field trip. How did you get here? / Biked.", "c": ["Teacher", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Ah, the buddy system, foolproof. / Floor it, Otto.", "c": ["Teacher", "Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Ha, ha, they left without you. / They left without you too, you idiot.", "c": ["Nelson", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "We'll just circle around like those kids in The Blair Witch Project.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "It's called, Lisa is Stupid. / You die now.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Principal Skinner: 'There, there, Audrey. It's happened to all of us.' [about losing students]", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Why is it always the kids with the long names?", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "A parent who waives the right to sue says what? / What? / Got it.", "c": ["Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "We're from the Learn to Fart state.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Lisa's a very special little girl. And we'll spare no expense in finding her. / What about Bart? / We're looking.", "c": ["Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Well, as far as nerdy little sisters go, you're the coolest.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "One day, I was really bored and Dad had left a steamroller idling in the driveway...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Aah! The plastic casing from the tip of Bart's shoelace. / A mother knows.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "That's how Grandpappy wound up in these parts. They was taking us to Capital City to see The Nutcracker. And I wandered away from the group, married a bear and I started up my family.", "c": ["Mountain Man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "I told you, I ain't a bear. / Roar, roar, roar. / No one understands you, She-Bear.", "c": ["Mountain Woman", "Mountain Man"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "We were going there anyway to pick up the new Spy magazine. / I'm sorry, they don't publish that anymore. / The world I grewed up in is gone.", "c": ["Mountain Man", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "And, Maggie, you no longer have to live with the burden of replacing Bart and Lisa.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "If this episode has taught us anything, it's that nothing works better than the status quo.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "That's just sad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 3, "et": "Bart Vs Lisa Vs The Third Grade"}, {"t": "Dad, I'm telling you, Truman wins. / Woo-hoo! I win the bet. Who's your daddy?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "We're building homes for the homeless. [GASPS] You know it's gonna be bad, but you just can't prepare yourself.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Domiciles for the Destitute? Is this that thing Jimmy Can'ter does?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "I'll slaughter you, you lamebrain. / No hard feelings.", "c": ["Bush Sr.", "Carter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "This is a Band-Aid wrapped in tinfoil. / My real ring's inside a turtle.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "And I don't wanna spend another fiscal year alone. Un!", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Cookie Kwan, realtor. Number one on the west side. I could move you into a beautiful new home. Mine.", "c": ["Cookie Kwan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Cookie Kwan, realtor. Number one on the west side. I could move you into a beautiful new home. Mine.", "c": ["Cookie Kwan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Who left the milk out? Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck Dad left the milk out Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck", "c": ["Baha Men"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "That's good satire. It doesn't hurt anyone.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Well, I've read enough articles about flirting to know it when I see it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Hey, why would I want Purina when I got Fancy Feast right here?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Well, if it isn't Bat-mensch and the Goy Wonder.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Well, sure. He was also Uncle Velderschmoink on Bewitched.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "What in the name of Huntley and Brinkley do you plan to do to us?", "c": ["Batman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Fortunately, I always carry my Carousel Reversal Spray.", "c": ["Batman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Faced with a problem like this, I wonder, what would Oprah do?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "My maguppies became bazongas.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "My maguppies became bazongas.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Wait, this just doesn't add up. Milhouse has never been anything but a comic foil.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "The spritz has hit the fan.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Your endowment's bigger than Harvard's. / Well, that cinches it. Lisa gets the prize for the best off-the-cuff response.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Boy, oh, Boyardee. / Ha, ha. I bazoom you want a table. Right this way.", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "[SINGING] You took a 20-carat diamond And made it gleam", "c": ["Luigi", "Restaurant Staff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "The hottest thing to hit this city Since the fire that killed 11 [ALL GASPING] Dangerous criminals [IN UNISON] Hooray!", "c": ["Luigi", "Crowd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Forget it, Kiekie. You're not putting your brain into her body.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "With the economy the way it is, you're lucky you get soup.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Yeah. This is the longest I've ever gone without looking at Lenny.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Teletubbies get away with more than this.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Maybe if we cut his foot off, people will feel sorry for him. / It didn't help your dad get your mom back.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "No, I got where I am by naming names in the '50s.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "My forthrightness is my undoing.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Whoa, he's a big as Brando, but he takes direction.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Columbo! No, that's not it. Modesto! Daktari? Nintendo? Oh.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Sorry, ma'am. We don't negotiate with elephants.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Hey, cops. Check out this all-points bulletin.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Whoa, look at those magumbos. [TRUMPETS] Hey, that's it. Magumbo!", "c": ["Cop", "Stampy"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "I came out of the elephant's mouth, right? Because I already showered once today.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 4, "et": "Large Marge"}, {"t": "Yes. If he's smart, he'll hold out for millions. Whoo-hoo! I got skybox tickets. And with only 20 percent loss of my brain function. Life is... [MUMBLES]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Can't beat a skybox. All the excitement of being in the sky with the security of being in a box.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Actually, it says here we're gonna see hockey. [IN UNISON] No! [PEOPLE SCREAMING]", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Would you care for some cologne? You have anything with ground-up whale in it? But of course.", "c": ["Attendant", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "It's like Moby's house on Cribs.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Can you paint me knocking out Larry Holmes? Certainly. Don't hit my face. Okay, where do you want it? I don't know. Work the stomach.", "c": ["Homer", "Painter", "Larry Holmes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Mm. That takes me back.", "c": ["Larry Holmes"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Check out those non-skybox losers watching hockey without sushi.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Let's take Mr. Figgy Pudding down a peg. Otto, what are you waiting for? Get your ass on my neck.", "c": ["Barney", "Otto"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Oh, great. And I just got all that gum out of my armpits.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "All right. A people tooth. Gummy Sue, this is your lucky day. There. Now I is like Britney Spears.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "This is a joke. You'll find me down with the real fans standing ankle-deep in beer and blood.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Fine. Watch your stupid Eagles concert. It's a hockey game. Whatever.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Aim for the five hole. He's got an opening the size of Red Square.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Thank you, mouthy American child. Please to take my hockey tree.", "c": ["Kozlov"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "They've already told the skybox fans who's gonna win.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Because she took the trouble to wander away and talk to a stranger.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Well, cock-a-diddily-doo. What a Marge-alicious way to start my Flander-rific day.", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Hey, Ma, our crap shack's going to hell.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "These are no ordinary termites. What you've got here are Russian No-wood-niks.", "c": ["Exterminator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Okay. But in order to kill these bugs, I've got to live like a bug, think like a bug, become a bug.", "c": ["Exterminator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I go by how funny the sign is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I had to use the good poison. It comes with James Coburn's picture on the bottle.", "c": ["Exterminator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "We'll just hang out in front of the house beside these garbage cans. The time will just fly by.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I'm just gonna say it. We haven't had a good idea since Raisin Bran.", "c": ["Bran Producer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I do not want another lecture from a German backpacker about how we don't appreciate the National Park System.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "That's Lenny? Oh, I wanted the black one.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Oh, I share a common wall with a jai alai court.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Ha-ha-ha. That's the sound of the pelota hitting the fronton. I find it soothing.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I'm chairing a meeting of the Galactic U.N. My apologies. The paint is still wet on Ambassador Farfoon.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "We are not staying at Moe's. Maggie's already drunk on the fumes. And she's a mean drunk.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "We can eat the loser. Pfft. Who wants to eat a loser?", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "1895? Forget it. We'd be too late to save Lincoln and too early to save Kennedy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "You could save McKinley. It's not a time machine, Moe.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Hey, if TV can give Mike O'Malley a home, it can give us one.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "And by creator, I mean I saw it on Dutch television and tweaked the title.", "c": ["Mitch Hartwell"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "But isn't the dad Bill Cosby?", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Argh! I'll teach you to whistle on the Sabbath!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "They go to pieces over nothing. They're perfect for reality TV.", "c": ["Mitch Hartwell"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Oh, you look adorable, Lisa. Your school chums are going to be so jealous of your little outfit.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I look like Buster Brown. Whoever that is.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Wow, they had an Army helmet under every bed?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Befoul an Army helmet? You'd like that, wouldn't you, hippie?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Ooh, please be a melon baller. Please be a melon baller.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Uh, ha, ha. My hair isn't really blue.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Finally. I'm no longer a slave to the Gillette corporation.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Oreos? Sorry, these are from 1896. Non-scarring toilet paper. Ha. Dream on.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Urkel-O's. Delicious but forbidden.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I don't believe they had those in 1895. Yes, they did. Look closer. Ooh!", "c": ["Producer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Twenty-three skidoo.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Maybe I could wuther your heights?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Maybe I could wuther your heights?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "'Mutt and Jeff' comics are not funny. They're gay, I get it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Ugh. Bread tastes like clothes. I'm so cold. All of you stink so much.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "This is great television. Yeah. I can't wait to see which one of them dies first.", "c": ["TV executives"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "And when you're on TV, you dig in your claws and you never let go. Just like Bill Meyers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Telegram for Haywood U. Cuddlemee. Haywood U. Cuddlemee? Big guy in the back, Haywood U. Cuddlemee? Hey-- Oh.", "c": ["Delivery Boy", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I'm gonna drive a golden spike where your Union meets your Central Pacific. Stop.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I thought I was regular before, but I was wrong.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Oh, I wish you would reconsider the proposal of Hiram Beatwife. He's betrothed to Martha Takeapunch.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "He's betrothed to Martha Takeapunch.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Why is the guy from Laverne & Shirley living in our house? Because nobody's watching you clowns.", "c": ["Lisa", "Squiggy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "If you was to ask me, you're all too calm and happy. The essence of drama is conflict. That's why they gave me this Taser.", "c": ["Squiggy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "The network made our show more exciting by dumping the house in a river.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "This rope was woven from handlebar moustaches.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "You monsters. You turned this show into a Survivor clone.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I would never sign that. Unless there was a red sticker that said sign here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Do we get lunch? We're not allowed to interfere with the reality of the show. Which reminds me, burn the leftovers. Leave nothing.", "c": ["Crew member", "Producer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Do we get lunch? We're not allowed to interfere with the reality of the show. Which reminds me, burn the leftovers. Leave nothing.", "c": ["Crew Member", "Producer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "We're not savages. I'm a paralegal from Cleveland. And I'm a nutritionist from Santa Fe.", "c": ["Tribe Members"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "I just couldn't eat any more kangaroo testicles. The weird part is, now I can't get enough of them.", "c": ["Tribe Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "So the show just abandoned us here. The weird part is, now I can't get enough of them.", "c": ["Former contestant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "That's my Homie.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Is it so gosh-darn hard to get cocktail sauce in the middle of the Amazon?", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Now we know what it feels like to be tormented. And yet I learn nothing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Law & Order: Elevator Inspectors Unit.", "c": ["TV Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "TV was the one good thing in my life and now I can't enjoy it any more.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Hmm. The water's off. I'll use my eye to see what the trouble is. [HOMER YELLS]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "So this has become a game of wits, has it? Perhaps my other eye will get to the bottom of this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 5, "et": "Helter Shelter"}, {"t": "Three minutes, 40 seconds... a new personal best.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "No one will ever know. / Mail call.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "The 'George Foreman Mail Sorter' will let us know.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "It's where J-Lo hit P. Diddy upside the head with Gary Coleman.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Our attendants can take 10 years off your face... and stick it in your boobs.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "It's also for vain, effeminate men.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Kent Brockman? / Well, if you find this shocking, look at Tom Brokaw.", "c": ["Homer", "Kent"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Truly, that was the greatest regeneration.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "This place blows. I'm gonna go float a Baby Ruth down a mineral bath.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Do you like Dr. Seuss? / No. / Then you'll love Dr. Mas-Seuss.", "c": ["Spa Worker", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Bad posture has floobled and snozzled your neck.", "c": ["Dr. Mas-Seuss"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "It just shows you God has a plan for every creature.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "[AS JOHNNY CARSON] The American taxpayer!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. A naked celebrity. Be cool. Don't stare at his famous wang.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Go ahead, look. The whole world already saw it in Nudist Camp Commandant. 'I wore nothing!'", "c": ["Celebrity"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Do not use steam room if you are overweight or have a heart condition. [GULPS] Wait a minute. I'm not wearing a shirt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Who ordered the steamed gentile? / Mm, steamed gentile.", "c": ["Paramedic", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Now, Mr. Simpson, is it possible you're living a double... or triple life that your wife doesn't know about? / Triple? No. Definitely no.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Where on my badge does it say anything about protecting people? / Uh, second word, chief.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Thanks, Princeton Pete.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Paris? / No. No, not Paris. I'm never gonna go to Paris.", "c": ["Homer", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Each one crazier than the last. Uh, come to think of it... he should be there and this guy, he should be over there. / Wait. You're saying he's crazier than I am? / That's exactly what I'm saying, Decapitating Harry.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Decapitating Harry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "It beats Disney's California Adventure. / Oh, yeah. / Yeah, that's true.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Access denied. / Oh, fine. I gotta use a fork.", "c": ["Computer", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Hello, Bart. / Aah! Sideshow Bob! / Oh, come now. We've been through so much together. Just call me Bob. / Aah! Bob!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["running_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "This year, I think it's Man of La Mancha. Yeah. Don Quixote, Sancho Panza... Dr. Carrasco, you know, they're all great parts. / Ugh, what a great show. I wish it was today.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Then you might as well stay with us. We serve the same meat the prisons do.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "This man has tried to kill me so much, it's not funny.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Dad, I can't believe you're putting my life at risk to save your own. / You'll understand someday when you have kids.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "And don't try taking it off because it's taped to your leg hair. / And that really hurts.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "As gentlemen, surely we can just agree to... Dear God! / Sorry. / Fair enough. But now that we know what it can do, there's no need to... Mother!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Wow. You don't even have to point it at him.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Well, there's Mr. Burns... Fat Tony, the Emperor of Japan, ex-President Bush. / The late Frank Grimes. / PBS, Stephen Hawking... the fat little Dixie Chick. / And the state of Florida.", "c": ["Homer", "Sideshow Bob", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "How can one man have so many enemies? / I'm a people person. Who drinks.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "This is a normal day? / I just wanted to impress you.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Didn't last year's king have to abdicate because he married a commoner? / And I'd do it again. But I do miss the Royal Crown Cola.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Previous King"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Ah, yes, the Kwik-E-Mart. I haven't been here since I robbed it dressed as Krusty. / My one successful crime.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Our time is passing, old friend.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Uh, if you two country hens are finished clucking... I'd like to buy a copy of Jugs and Ammo.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Well, we've settled that argument. You can't read a magazine and drive.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "But your car was built in Croatia. It's made from old Soviet tanks. / Just fix it, Mr. Sasswrench.", "c": ["Mechanic", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Right, right. I'm counting the pennies in the ashtray. / There's two.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "You're so smart. Shock him. / Odds Bodkins!", "c": ["Homer", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Now who's the sociopath, huh?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "These are Homer's friends and family. They don't want him dead. They just want him to suffer.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Once I kill you, everyone will think I'm the real Homer. Ha-ha-ha. / None of this seems odd to you? / Meh.", "c": ["Frank Grimes Jr.", "Sideshow Bob", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Yeah. A kid should be real simple to kill. I'd come up behind him with a knife and slit his throat real quick.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Homer, if I could write haikus while skinheads beat me with soap... I can concentrate anywhere.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Oh, why didn't I take more photos? / Memories / Like the corners of my mind", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Ha, ha. I thought I could get it while it was in the recharger. / I was wrong.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "I don't know how we ever had fun without him.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Hey, Pop, where's the crank on this Victrola? / Why, it's the latest model. From now on, the only crank in this house is your Aunt Gladys. / For your information, I'm cranky because I've got polio.", "c": ["That 30s Show Characters"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Tom Shales gave this show a good review and I'm the one in prison.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Aah! Don't look at me. / Homer Simpson? / Right here.", "c": ["Homer", "Parade Official"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! Good things do happen to bad people.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Marge, you're embarrassing me in front of the drag queen.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "In a related story, Homer Simpson may not have long to live.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "This is a way to flush this killer out once and for all. And get drunk on a Tuesday. / Today's Tuesday. And you've had six beers. / But I'm not drunk.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "So, uh, you're from Tempe? I'm from Chicago. / Whoa, I'm so drunk I'm gonna puke. You ever get that feeling, beautiful?", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "America loves its kings, from George III to Larry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Phew. Just Italians.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Attention, drunken idiots. This is your king. Sacrifice yourselves to slow me down.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Hey, how about some beads? / They're not for dudes. / That's cool.", "c": ["Crowd Member", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "That museum has been nothing but trouble since it opened.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "I saved a life. And it feels wonderful.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "And yet, I could just as easily drop you to your death. / Don't be so sure. I got my legs wrapped around your ass pretty tight.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "And yet, I could just as easily drop you to your death. Don't be so sure. I got my legs wrapped around your ass pretty tight.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Everything going dark. Like Duff Stout, the beer that made Ireland famous. I love you, Doris.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Your king needs these stilts. / Jesus is our only king. / Not anymore.", "c": ["Homer", "Religious Person"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. How is old Grimey?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "He happened to like hookers, okay?", "c": ["Frank Grimes Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "If I can tranq out just one freak on stilts... I know I've done my job. / You're living the dream, chief.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's every parent's dream to outlive their children.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "I... I can't do it. / Why not? / Well, I guess I've, dear God... grown accustomed to your face.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "I've grown accustomed to his face / And dreams of gouging out his eyes", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Bart, turn down that original cast recording and go to sleep.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "This isn't a duet. / Sorry.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "We shall meet again, old friend. But now I must steal away into the night.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 6, "et": "The Great Louse Detective"}, {"t": "Was that the war with Hitler or Merlin? - Oh, you idiot. Merlin was in Vietnam.", "c": ["Student", "Other Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Instead of writing a report, can I do a dance? [HUMMING] [MILHOUSE GRUNTS] - Sorry.", "c": ["Student", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Martin? He's gone now. But you gotta admire his spirit.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Mother's neck wattle got caught in a zipper. I've, uh, got a long night of boo-boo kissing ahead of me.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "The apples weren't the point. - Then why were we going apple picking?", "c": ["Edna", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Uncle Slam has defeated Osama bin Rotten... Here comes Secretary of Hate, Colin Kapow!", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Why did I pay for a hundred Xeroxes when I only wanted one? Well, I guess someone else will use the other 99.", "c": ["Random Man"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.58, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Prank or study? Prank or study?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "What should I do, Lord? Give me a sign. [Divine intervention with copies]", "c": ["Bart", "Divine Providence"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Well, boys, good thing we brought the eye soap. ROD & TODD: Ow! The burning is love.", "c": ["Ned", "Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "It's your last chance. He's probably gonna get court-martialed for this.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Attention, teenage boys. Take your hands off my daughter. Now, kiss each other.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "World War I? I fought in that. Of course, to enlist, I had to lie about my age.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Lieutenant Simpson, you've been up for hours. Take a nap. You're no good to us cranky. But I'm not tired. [CRYING]", "c": ["Officer", "Young Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Good night, sleepyhead. - Do you have to poop? - Always.", "c": ["Bart", "Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "F? There must be some mistake. It's as long as you asked for. - Counting six pages of ads.", "c": ["Bart", "Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Well, if I may dust off an old chestnut: Ay caramba.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Ay caramba indeed.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "I was looking for my girlfriend, not Pam Dawber.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "I'll be back in three hours. Maybe less. But almost certainly more.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "He's a Wiener, Mrs. K. Just say the word and his desk is full of boogers.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "A pity date from a 10 year old? I'll take it.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "From the widest gully to the deepest trench... holes define who we are and where we are going.", "c": ["Documentary Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Even they have holes. Blowholes.", "c": ["Documentary Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "And did you know the hole's only natural enemy is the pile?", "c": ["Documentary Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Dad, you bought that because it was full of gummy worms. And you only wanted those as bait to catch gummy fish.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Which I did.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Hey, they have Latin Grammys.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Dead Poets Society has destroyed a generation of educators.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Well, enough jawing. Reach for it, pilgrim. And the missiles are like, 'Oh, praise Jesus! Can I hear an amen?'", "c": ["Bad Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "The Bart Simpson? - I thought he was an urban legend. If she's danced with the devil in the blue shorts and lived...", "c": ["Judges"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Nelson Muntz, you've been nominated for Bully of the Year.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "I thought that nipple would haunt me forever.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Reporter Cletus, Outhouse Times-Picayune.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Mrs. K, if you win this here learning derby... will you forget your kith and kin and leave us all forever?", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Webster's Dictionary defines Mrs. Krabappel as-- [PAGER BEEPING]", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I know where we're going. Oh, it's horrible!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "It's what people in 1965 imagined what life would be like in 1987.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Because at Eastern Airlines, world conquest is part of our master plan.", "c": ["Ride Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm an electric car. I can't go very fast or very far. And if you drive me, people will think you're gay.", "c": ["Electric Car"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Damn straight she will, you brunch-eating popinjay.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Make sure you fill it up with Techron gas. You don't want a case of the knocks.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Le Pizza, Der Hamburger, Seior Grilled Cheese. I hope I don't accidentally order an elephant.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "My fanny is baboon red after that car ride.", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "This woman carried me for nine-and-a-half months. I was out for two weeks and then went back in.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "We broke even. [SCREAMING] Mm, that's good satire.", "c": ["Enron Ride Passengers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "He's never going to get up. He's got no legs.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "We're also pleased to announce that our winner will receive enough money... so they'll never have to teach again.", "c": ["Award Announcer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Because I like you, I'll even do it pro boner. - It's pro bono. - I know what I said.", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "You're gonna get your parade, down my esophagus.", "c": ["Soldier in Vietnam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Oh, who will take home the Rampy?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Michael Jackson just told me to shut up.", "c": ["Little Richard"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I can't read. Mrs. Krabappel never taught me to read.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Oh, God. I've created a Prankenstein.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "If she can teach me to love, then she can teach anything.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Seymour! Your feelings are ugly and wrong.", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Now, I must warn you, two months' salary only bought me the ring box.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Oh, great. Three in a bed.", "c": ["Agnes"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Julio Estudiante... an inner-city math teacher who taught teenage gang members that differential equations are more powerful than bullets.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "That'll be $14. [HOMER WAILING]", "c": ["Vendor", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "Open your gullet, you human blob.", "c": ["Pie Contest Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "I'm on vacation.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 7, "et": "Special Edna"}, {"t": "D'oh! [Screams]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "It should be in a museum. But museums don't want it.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "I don't swim, so that's where I throw my shrimp shells.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Your monkey bit my kid again!", "c": ["Elliott Gould"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Say hello to Bob- [Grunts] and Carol and Ted and Alice- [Grunting]", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "That's me! You would like me. Loser!", "c": ["Kenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "[Book: Male Voice] Unauthorized user! Access denied! [Electricity Crackling] [Shrieking]", "c": ["Turbo Diary"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Turbo Diary, I love that I bought you.", "c": ["Girl in commercial"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Girltech is a division of Boytech.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Lisa, nobody likes a shill.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "[Chuckling] I love that little shill.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "A girl should have her own private diary. I had to share mine with my uncle.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Dad, you can't eat all those free samples. We've gotta get Lisa's present.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Dad, you ate all the free samples. Now you're eating men's slacks.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Heh. It's still better than Indian food.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Trying to keep those crushes secret, eh, Romeo?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "It's not for me. I'm not a girl like you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Finally, Smithers, a device worthy of storing my top secret enemies list.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "I'm ready, sir. Number one, the Kingston Trio.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "[Shudders] Number two-", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "[Book: Male Voice] Unauthorized user! Access denied! [Electricity Crackling] [Shrieking]", "c": ["Turbo Diary", "Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Sir, I can offer you this Tickle Me Krusty, the most popular toy of 1999.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Shop o' the mornin', Homer. Just call me 'Mall' Flanders.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "What are you buying? Jerk stuff?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Oh, you betcha. This kiosk sells personalized movies.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "My hobbies include- [Ned's Voice] Being quiet during trips, clapping with songs, and diabetes.", "c": ["Rod Flanders", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Hey, your kid is in the movie! And the movie knows his name!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Maybe Lisa will like this better than the diary. Stupid Flanders, you're a genius.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "It's really cool. You can point a red dot at people's crotches from really far away.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Hmm. There appears to be a red dot on my trouser front. I'd better lower them. [Sighs] The dot also appears to be on my underpants. Well, down they go.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Hey, buddy. You better get that red dot checked out. My uncle died of crotch dot.", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "You were supposed to get her that stupid diary!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "I don't like McNuggets. I'm a vegetarian. Still?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Then you're not gonna like your other present.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "My favorite book is- [Homer's Voice] Magazines.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson (in movie)", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Dad, that information is all wrong! Maggie's a baby, not my best friend. [Crying] You don't know anything about me.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Maggie, you're her best friend. Go talk to her.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Good morning, honey. Did you cry out all your 'angries'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "I'm still mad at you for chopping up my skateboard with an ax. I did it for the insurance money.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "What's your favorite cigar size? Is it robusto? Is it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "But I'm full of questions. What's your favorite cigar size? Is it robusto? Is it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Yeah. At least you ain't aging six years for every one 'cause of your cow heart.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Ah. Well, whenever I gotta know something about a broad, I use this guy.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "He found out who was cobbling shoes for me at night. Turns out I have severe schizophrenia.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Maybe someday I'll turn into a swan. [Sighs] Oh, God.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "'Drunk Cop'- Is that you? No. Look lower.", "c": ["Homer", "Detective"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "It's always a dame. Usually with gams that don't quit... till they get to the shoes. And then they're only napping.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Chunky lover 53. It's one word. One word. Chunkylover53. At AOL. Dot com.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "You know, you are the spitting image of the Aberdeen Strangler.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "These are some nice looking papers on your desk. It would be a shame if somebody shuffled them. You wouldn't dare. Oh, wouldn't I? [Scoffs] I could easily put them back in their original order. Oh, really? No! [Echoing]", "c": ["Detective", "School official"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "You know, she's just an actress. Shut up! Some of us prefer illusion to despair.", "c": ["Detective", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Lisa Simpson is a girl at my school. I once picked my nose till it bled. [Sighs] About Lisa! Lisa Simpson is a girl at my school.", "c": ["Nelson", "Detective"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Lisa's pet peeve is phonies? I thought she loved them.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "What do we want? The gradual phaseout of animal testing over the next three years! When do we want it? Over the next three years!", "c": ["Protesters"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "So sad. Yet so sexy. Yet so delicious. [Slavers]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "'Report' is a daddy word that means 'loves his daughter.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Early on, I was working under the theory that your daughter was a werewolf. Didn't pan out.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "I can't believe a man who agreed to follow my daughter around, for money, would turn out to be a dirtbag!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "You'll regret the day you went to the expensive coffee place!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Cut it out, Lou. Uh, he's making funny faces. Sorry, Chief. One of these monkeys has the same name as my ex-wife.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Well, apparently there's a secret garden in all of us. And that Lisa Simpson is guilty!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Would an innocent person flee? No, really. Tell me. I honestly don't know.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Names, please? Lady Penelope Ariel Ponyweather. Uh, Rock Strongo. Your real name. Uh, Lance Uppercut.", "c": ["Hotel clerk", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "If the election were held today, would you vote for 'A,' the cops are there, or 'B,' you're free to talk?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "It's full of cigarette butts. So is this one. They must've come from over there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "You're not telling nobody nothing. Make one move and you'll get a belly full of the Flying Giuseppe.", "c": ["Detective"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Oh, Lisa has excellent hearing. Once when she was three, I was quietly sobbing in the closet, and she found me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Oh, Dad, you do remember something about me.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "How ironic. Now he's blind, after a life of enjoying being able to see.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Cletus, if I find pig lipstick on your collar again, I'm not gonna let you sleep in the sty no more.", "c": ["Cletus's wife"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "[Book: Male Voice] Unauthorized user! Access denied! [Electricity Crackling] [Homer Shouting]", "c": ["Turbo Diary", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 8, "et": "The Dad Who Knew Too Little"}, {"t": "Three divorces in three months. What can I say, Kent? I'm a romantic.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "This was done on her wedding day. Or should I say 'deading' day?", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "How the mighty have fallen... into my price range. I wanna go there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Dad, we are there.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Zip it, Holy Joe.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Miss September... you're gonna have to get in the trunk.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Everything here is sword. Sword baseball bat, sword rifle, sword pineapple... sword sword sharpener, sword pie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Hey, what happened to the sword pie?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Hey, your early porno movies. Oh, wait, are any of these hetero?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "The weights that changed you from a Bavarian cream puff... to a mass of twitching muscles?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "They know you are talking about them.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "This is what all those hours of playing Tetris were for.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "[Tetris theme music playing while Homer packs car]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "But there's no room for you. / D'oh!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I used it to carry Rob Schneider in the movie My Baby is an Ugly Man.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Your heartbeat is so soothing. / Shh. Time for sleep, little fatso.", "c": ["Homer", "Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "How did you turn cinnamon applesauce into that?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Don't try to pin this on me, sister.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "The bathroom is not for customers. Please use the crack house.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "That is the most pungent thing I've ever smelled and I am from India.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "That sign is just a ruse, like all high voltage signs.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "It's not a purse. It's a diaper bag. / It looks like a purse, that's why I bought it. / But it's really a--", "c": ["Marge", "Mugger"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "It's all my fault my wife got mugged. / There you have it, boys. Case closed.", "c": ["Homer", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Why is it Ned Flanders?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Oh, like, I'm gonna kick Chief Wiggum in the groin.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Even my boogers are spicy.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Can you believe I get paid to wear short pants?", "c": ["Mailman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I gave your necklace to my cheap girlfriend. I just throw it in a drawer at night. No, it'll tangle!", "c": ["Mugger", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Oh, no, my glasses are broken. [Twilight Zone theme plays]", "c": ["Mailman"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "It's called The Woman Who Died in Her Home.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I hope you like throwing dinner parties. / I do. / No one wants to eat dinner at a crazy lady's house. Get real.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I'll set fire to the hive. / Twelve. Fifteen. Seven hundred and three.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I'm a magazine rack. / Look, I'm the first to admit it. I don't write good parts for women.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "What play? What the hell is he talking about?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "We'll have to smoke her out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Breaker, Bartman to shut-in. The big guy's asleep. Please advise. Over.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Why, you little-- Oh, ha, ha, hi, Jesus. I was just--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "The air hockey table makes passing the carrots a breeze.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I loved that show because you always knew... it was only a half-hour till Wings. Then you could just sleep till Monday.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "If you don't, the oven's not on.", "c": ["Exercise instructor on TV"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I'm married to Joey Heatherton.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I got all the way out to the tree before I realized I'd left the house.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Well, aren't you a super-duper recouper?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Then you're not paying close enough attention.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "You've just been Marge-inalized.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "It's like I'm married to Shaft.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I have many anti-drug bumper stickers I'd be making a liar out of my tailgate.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Steroids aren't drugs. They occur naturally in the body... like sweat or tumors.", "c": ["Ruth Powers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Yes. Their main side effect is greatness.", "c": ["Ruth Powers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Man, what am I smoking? Oh, yeah, pot.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I feel that illegal performance-enhancing drugs... are too common these days. Rebuttal?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I wasn't asking.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Your mom has a lot of stuff to shave.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Your mom has a lot of stuff to shave.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Ay caramba. I'm off women forever.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I'm tired of her criticizing my saggy glutes. / Quiet. Her muscular ears can hear us.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I didn't sacrifice my period for second place.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "I don't got enough booze in this place to make you look good.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Disco Stu should have disco ducked. Ow.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "The woman who instead of swatting a fly... will give it a bath and send it on its way.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Whoa, Moe, wait a minute. Don't you have to buy insurance first? / Oh, crap.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Ready for a real workout, Marge? / Good. Can you wax the car? / Ow. Ow. Ow. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 9, "et": "The Strong Arms Of The Ma"}, {"t": "Yeah. Well, nachos are nachos.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Whoa, check out Janeane Giraffalo.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Szechwan, eh? No wonder she's so spicy. [GROWLS]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Bart, you're a little young to be growling at 7-foot Chinese ladies.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "She showed little girls everywhere that they can grow up to be 6'5\".", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "I think you mean I have game. Try to speak correctly. / You go, girl. / Yes, I will depart lest your bad grammar rub off on me.", "c": ["Lisa Leslie", "Fan", "Lisa Leslie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Now, here's something for the men to dribble over.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.01, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Oh, I can see her logo and everything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Oh, darn it. Swish was everything I'm not. Put the head back on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "The Cowgirls versus The She-gles. Heh.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. Speed walking, ballroom dancing...rhythmic gymnastics, extreme choir.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Can't we just pretend you're really a girl? / Well, for how long? / For the rest of our lives.", "c": ["Homer", "Event Staff", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "I'm donating this whole check to Bibles for Belgians.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "I'm crazy as a crap-house rat for philanthropy.", "c": ["Team Owner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "That cuts the mustard with me.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Oh, it's not fair. I always wanted to drive a food-shaped car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "How come all the good things happen to Jesus H. Nice? By which I mean Flanders.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "That's because you keep passing out on our lawn.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "and flossing my teeth, tail and toes.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "They so consumed my life...I never had time for a proper haircut.", "c": ["Ken Burns"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Oh, merciful God...who has blessed mankind with two kinds of clam chowder...help me find the remote.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "I've never actually been to a baseball game. The fresh air gives me hives.", "c": ["Ken Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "From now on, I'll pray till my hands are chapped and bleeding.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Oh, Lord. Please guide that diaper into someone's schnoz.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Vengeful God, loving God. Vengeful God, loving God.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Whose banana you gotta peel to get a 5.9? Pfft!", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "I am reminded of Colonel Sanders who is now seated at your right hand...shoveling popcorn chicken into thy mouth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend: fudge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Homer, God isn't some kind of holy concierge.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Lord, please use your space-age clog-busting powers on this stubborn drain...then take some time off for yourself. Fly to France, have dinner.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Marge, he's way the hell up there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Your pipes have more roots than the list of all time top-rated TV shows.", "c": ["Plumber"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "You was hiding behind the drywall. Yes, you were. I'm glad social services didn't see this. Yes, I am.", "c": ["Plumber"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "If you could fix my house...or make a new house from one of my ribs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "I'm Larry H. Lawyer, Junior. And I will fight for you. I also habla Espa\u00f1ol.", "c": ["Larry H. Lawyer Jr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "I couldn't help it. Those pews are so comfortable.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "He got me $60,000. And I was driving drunk in a graveyard.", "c": ["Testimonial Client"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "It's his skull. It's hypnotic.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "She was run over by a clergyman.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Ha, ha, Your Honor, we the jury find that to be America's Funniest Home Video. Back to you, Bob Saget.", "c": ["Jury"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Ha, ha, Your Honor, we the jury find that to be America's Funniest Home Video. Back to you, Bob Saget.", "c": ["Jury Foreman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "We're not a synagogue.", "c": ["Church Lawyer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "He's not giving it to me. God is because I prayed for it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Dad, I think this might be the work of Satan. / It's all good.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Aw, he thinks he's papal.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "If it weren't for Alcoholics Anonymous...I'd still be sucking the juice out of glow sticks.", "c": ["AA Member"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Saint Pauli Girl's Cathedral.", "c": ["AA Member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "by throwing the bitchingest beer bash this church has ever seen.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Wow, Homer, this is like a party Dick Clark would throw. Yeah. Fun, but not too fun.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Wow, Homer, this is like a party Dick Clark would throw. / Yeah. Fun, but not too fun.", "c": ["Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Dr. Hibbert, must you play the claw machine?", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Particularly the part about the pin in the gutter on lane 15.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "There's no place for me here.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "It looks like God has packed up and left Springfield.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Do I have a magic lens that can see into people's souls? Well, yours would be black, Kent. Black as the ace of spades.", "c": ["Arnie Pie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with Spam? A rat filled with cough drops?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "CARL: Hey, Lenny, covet some more chili fries? That's it. The whole shebang.", "c": ["Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Speaking in tongues, what great kids.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Ha, ha, read them and strip, Barn. Uh-uh-uh-uh. Slowly. Make me forget my troubles.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Yeah, and some of them's gotta be chicks. Yeah, with, like, a thousand boobs.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "On Dasher, on Dancer. Man, I must be wasted.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Thank you, God. Now, turn the rainwater into wine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. Cut that out.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Yeah. I say we skin him alive and set him on fire. / Yeah, that'll appease God.", "c": ["Mob", "Mob Member"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "They were misled by a demon in blue pants.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "I don't know. Buddha? Hey, they've suffered enough.", "c": ["Lisa", "Buddha"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "Keep that popcorn chicken coming, colonel.", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 10, "et": "Pray Anything"}, {"t": "D'oh! Ah!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "We're not worthy. We're not worthy.", "c": ["Ornette Coleman", "Arthur Miller"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 4.53, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Well, here's another low-rated annual event: spring-cleaning", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "You've gotta get rid of those Furbys. They've turned feral.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "[FURBYS GROWLING]", "c": ["Furbys"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Ooh! Mad Libs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Hey, Lis, think you're well-adjusted?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Every tape is pumpkin carving", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "If I ever needed proof of the existence of God, here it is.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "What? You never heard of flush dance?", "c": ["Balki"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "CHORUS [SINGING]: He's the baby Whose mouth smells like death Run for your life It's Baby Stink-Breath", "c": ["Commercial chorus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "This isn't 'Bart Sad.' It's 'Bart's Ad.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "These soothing patches alter your baby's DNA... while leaving the RNA untouched.", "c": ["Commercial narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "I was going to tell you on my deathbed.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "La-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "I needed it. I had to buy back some incriminating photos.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "I know this looks bad, but if you reverse it, Daddy's a hero.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "That's okay. His cute little hands can't even fit around my neck. He-- [YELLING] Now he's got it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Bart, the larynx is not a plaything.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "When you're 17, I'm gonna know the end is near... so I'm gonna work you like a dog.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "When my mom wants to get back at my dad, she uses her lawyer. - Does it make him cry? - More than normal.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Badger, Haggle and Bill... Luvum and Burnham, Family Law... Hackey, Joke and Dunnit", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Good point, Dad. What would Jesus do? Jesus? I thought it was Geppetto. Aw, pfft.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "It comes with a side of bacon. - Is it crispy? - Yes. - But not too crispy? - No.", "c": ["Process server", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Don't you like being a dude?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "I wanted a sewing room but not like this. Not like this.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Hey, my dad was lousy and I didn't sue him. I just dumped him in the cheapest home I could find.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Hey. My IV is empty. And my catheter is full.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Here and here. Let the records show that he pulled out the pockets of the doll.", "c": ["Bart", "Court clerk"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Why, you little ... Uh, I'm sorry, judge. That's a rare lapse in my normally calm demeanor.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Why, you little ... Why, you little ... Why, you little ...", "c": ["Court stenographer", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Whoo-hoo! You're still mine. And you thought I was a bad dad before ... --except in this case.", "c": ["Homer", "Judge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "That boy's about as safe living with you as a crawdad in a gumbo shack.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Half goes to Bart, half goes to my Vegas wife. What's left for Moe?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "I was told this would be televised!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Do you even know what a loft is? - No. I assume it has hay.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Here's something to remember me by. - Ow! - Indian burn. - Look at it. Aw, that's so sweet. If I did it right, it's permanent.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "I'll let you swear in the house. Everything but the big three.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Either give me some of that or let's get going.", "c": ["Taxi driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "That's right. Crawling on your knees. [GRUNTING] Crawling!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "MAN: Be quiet in there! Some of us are trying to sell drugs!", "c": ["Neighbor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Attaboy, we just won the World Series. You and me together, yeah. [LAUGHS] [SCREAMS] He should've done that with the real Bart when he had the chance.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Boy, I wish I was a free man. Mom. Where's Puppy Goo Goo?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Now, calm down. I'm perfectly safe. Murder's illegal in this state.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Oh, wait. That's my old phone number. [SNAPS]", "c": ["Tony Hawk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Hey, Blink-182. - We have names. - Whatever. You can crank it up.", "c": ["Tony Hawk", "Blink-182"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Of all the sites on all the web, I had to click onto his.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Ha, ha, did you see that? Your mom thinks you're still here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "It's taught me how to love and care for a child. [COOS] What the...? Where the hell is my sugar?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Condoleezza Marie ain't too playful tonight. And I don't remember her being this granulated.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Cool guy, Tony Hawk. - Bart, you know Tony Hawk? Please, I'm trying to keep it quiet. Catch you later, Tony Hawk. Stay cool, Brett.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Tony Hawk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Here's $5. Buy yourself a suit and get busy. I'll buy a suit... of drugs! [LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]", "c": ["Drug dealer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "And for every syringe I find, I get a dollar.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Don't worry. They're clip-ons.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Behold the delightful unicorn I got at the face painting pavilion. Dude, that was a tattoo parlor.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Party guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "An extreme word? Sure. [SHOUTING] My son is Bart Simpson and--! I didn't say extreme to the max.", "c": ["Homer", "Tony Hawk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Yeah, I make up words too.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "I'm challenging you, Hawk... in front of all these outcasts and dreamers... who can't even get into the Army, if you can believe it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "I can't count how many times... your father's done something crazy like this. It's 300, Mom. I could've sworn it was 302.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "You know, I could save money by buying separate nuts... and mixing them at home.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "This was never about being cool, it was about you not caring how I felt.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Oh, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard, you stupid little kid. Homer, you're heading for parental face-plant. Do a 180 emotional ollie.", "c": ["Homer", "Tony Hawk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Well, I am bald and important. Where do I sign?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "What did they say about my scalp? - Don't worry, Dad. it's a commercial. No one will remember this in 50 years.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 11, "et": "Barting Over"}, {"t": "Frankenstein and the Harlem Globetrotters Meet the Mummy and the Washington Generals", "c": ["Booberella"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "If you watch closely... you might recognize a young Ray Romano", "c": ["Booberella"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Homer grunting and presumably adjusting himself after sitting down", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Don't blame Frankenstein. Me made from corpses of Denver Nuggets.", "c": ["Frankenstein"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Now for the first of our 82 commercial breaks. Then you can see more of my boobs.", "c": ["Booberella"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "It's nice to see a realistic single woman on TV.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Please don't beat me up any more.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "We start with authentic letter-graded meat... and process the hell out of it till it's good enough for Krusty.", "c": ["Commercial announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I don't mind the taste.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Wow, I can't wait to pack that into my colon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Dude, take it easy on the fatty foods. You're running out of leg veins to transplant into your heart.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I got arm veins, don't I?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "This year, he gets it in the back.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "At ease, Cadet Nelson. Good to be back on terra firma, eh?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "How about I launch my foot into your butt?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I held your hair when you barfed in the simulator.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "My dad says you were a busboy.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "You mean your dad, the raging alcoholic?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Come on, man. Everyone knows the first day of school is a total wank.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Well, if by wank you mean educational fun... then stand back, it's wanking time.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Bart said I am pee. He's made of pee.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Well, I got my laugh. I'm out of here.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I made Bart in my pants.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Oh, I know this one. It's so easy. F-- Oh, man!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Stop laughing. It will scar him for life.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "It is kind of infectious.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Hey, Lisa said she was-- Unh, shut up, Pee.", "c": ["Nelson", "Student"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Free Tibet!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "This is just a kickball with 'Mars' written on it.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Behold, the Red Planet.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I see no evidence of water.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Face it, they're doomed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "But I've been fooled by so many people in costumes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Try the sauce. I'm soaked in it.", "c": ["Ribwich mascot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I could lick you all day long. And yet my children think I'm a failure.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Now without lettuce.", "c": ["Homer reading sign"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I have eaten the ribs of God.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Nothing can ameliorate the ineptitude of Principal Skinner.", "c": ["Spelling bee moderator"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I wish he wouldn't use me in every example.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Diphthongs, cognates, Latin roots / Lisa clobbers all you fruits", "c": ["Lisa's cheering section"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Finally, a Simpson has a trophy without a bowling ball on it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "That sounds like a magical family moment. I'm sorry I won't be there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Oh, sweetie. You're the most important thing to me in the world.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Only very serious daddy business can tear me from your side.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Three Ribwiches, please. And instead of a shake, I'd like a blended Ribwich.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Not again. First, you took away my Philly Fudge Steak... and then my Bacon Balls, then my Watcha-ma-chicken.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I could follow the Ribwich from town to town. That's what we do. We're Ribheads.", "c": ["Homer", "Ribheads"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "If you like the Ribwich, not very.", "c": ["Ribhead"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Your effects have been moved to Willie's shack. Come along, lad. And lose your books. They won't help you where you're going.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "3M and M&M have merged to form, get this, Ultradyne Systems", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "3M and M&M have merged... to form, get this, Ultradyne Systems.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "In a related story, the Spellympics is being sued by the Olympics... for use of the suffix 'lympics.'", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "This has gotta be the slowest news day ever. Ah, that's better. Paris is no more.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Well, what about in the sentence 'Jim Nabors is way cool'? It's on my apron.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Rubella, we got you a middle name.", "c": ["Cletus's family"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Can you spell 'scabies'? / S-C-A-B-I-E-S. / Rubella, we got you a middle name", "c": ["Hillbilly", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Uh-uh. You forgot the lightning bolt.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "That's what beer has done to me.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Perhaps one day, people who spell correctly... will replace athletes at the top of our national pantheon. Boo! Ha, ha, I was just K-I-D-D-I-N-G.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Hey, spell 'Little Miss She-Thinks-She's-So-Big.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I also played the evil dean in Boner Academy.", "c": ["George Plimpton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "You monster. Why did you expel Boogerman? He replaced my tennis racket with a rubber phallus. Ha, ha, that was awesome.", "c": ["Audience member", "George Plimpton"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "You monster. Why did you expel Boogerman? / He replaced my tennis racket with a rubber phallus", "c": ["Student", "Plimpton"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Ha, ha, he's an acerose. Really? He possesses the properties of a pine needle?", "c": ["Alex", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Look, I didn't bring a Game Boy. This is all I got.", "c": ["Alex"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "He's adorable. I'd sure like to tuck that in at night.", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "It's not just a sandwich. It's about brotherhood. It's about freedom. It's about three days since I've had one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I'm getting the shakes and I'm getting the fries.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Then I'll be queen of the world! Of spelling.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "'Look at me, I'm a drug addict. Ho, ho, ho.'", "c": ["George Plimpton"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Some of us still enjoy scripted comedy, sir.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Women in the audience toss their thick glasses at him", "c": ["Spelling official"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "And a hot plate. It's perfect for soup.", "c": ["George Plimpton"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Give in, Lisa. Get a free ride. And a hot plate.", "c": ["Seven Sisters colleges"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "But you don't play the piano. I just gotta stay one lesson ahead of the kid.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I know this is a fantasy, but I'll take it. No! I'll never be this happy again!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Hey, man, can you turn me on? Hey, don't borgnine my sandwich.", "c": ["Ribheads"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "The animal we made them from is now extinct. The pig? The cow? You're way off. Think smaller. Think more legs.", "c": ["Krusty Burger executive", "Ribheads"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Welcome to the real world, hippies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Fighting over a stupid sandwich on my daughter's big day? Mister, I'll take that car.", "c": ["Homer", "Other person"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I have the buyer's remorse.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "I don't know whether the weather will improve", "c": ["Spelling moderator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Alex, your word is 'rigged'... as in, 'This contest is rigged.'", "c": ["Spelling bee moderator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "The little girl's intransigence cost her the college of her choice.", "c": ["Spelling bee moderator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "The little girl's intransigence cost her the college of her choice", "c": ["Spelling moderator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Daddy made it for your dance recital, honey. Now super size it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "You fool, it's E-N-C-E. Oh, my God, you're right. I spelled it wrong.", "c": ["George Plimpton", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "You're the number one speller in this car, or in that car... or in that car, or-- Don't look at that car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Don't look at that car", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "Before you, it was the woman who dated Charles Grodin.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 12, "et": "Im Spelling As Fast As I Can"}, {"t": "D'oh! Ah!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Hold your horses. I was up all night fishing out the drawstring...from your father's swimsuit. It came out again.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Well, I'm all set. I'm gonna be following the latest designs...from Modern Sandcastle Magazine.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I think she needs a diaper change. Well, it ain't happening today.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "For each year, on the third Tuesday of May sweeps...we witness the return of the stinging red jellyfish.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "What a sight. It happens every year...like the swallows returning to Capistrano. Or the Fox network getting a new president.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I made a new friend. [RALPH YELLS THEN GROANS]", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I'm going to Africa...to see lions and giraffes and monkeys and Santa and gorillas and ...", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Now we know it just makes things a lot worse. - Like laser eye surgery? - Exactly.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Maybe we can have this band play at our wedding. I was hoping we could use this audio cassette.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Sarah, you're as lovely as the day I first arrested you. Oh, Clancy, ha, ha. You know, I planted that crystal meth just to meet you. I was so shy.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Sarah"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Are you hitting on me? Because I don't do that...on land.", "c": ["Sea Captain", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Well, guess I might as well head back to my store. I got a date with some twins, the state and federal tax forms.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "There's the Tongue Kissing Festival, Cinco de Ocho, the Hobo Oscars. Days just made for lovers. Not widowers, lovers.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Happily married to a dead woman.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Open as a tomb on Easter.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I gave up on L.A. when those TV people made that poor nun fly. All those Puerto Ricans looking up her dress. That's not right.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "You're the most important person in the world because you're my customer.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I'm as real as the nose on your face. Yeah. Real. [CLANGS] Well, it looks good. And it sounds pretty too.", "c": ["Ned", "Sara"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "A woman asking a man out? Well. Well, why not? And maybe I'll eat my steak with a spoon.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Call me. I'm staying at the Springfield Four Seasons. [WHISPERS] Ask for Zelda Fitzgerald.", "c": ["Sara"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "What the--? That's a pseu-diddilyeudonym.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I've got a date with a movie star? Sure you do. And I'm going apple picking with Scooby-Doo.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Flanders. Can't a man just drink alone on a Wednesday morning?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Let me guess. Skinner's mother? She sure knows how to swing it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Why would that Twinkie wanna go out with a Ding Dong like me? Flanders, I mix Twinkies and Ding Dongs all the time. In Europe, they call it a Dinkie.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I'm no Arthur Miller or Lyle Lovett.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I'm no Arthur Miller or Lyle Lovett.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "But then part of her died and she doesn't try any more. So we're all where we wanna be.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Oh, man, this is going right on eBay. I mean, my wall, which I will sell on eBay.", "c": ["Fan"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Oh, oh, can I just push this plastic cast onto one of your boobs?", "c": ["Fan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.41, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Rod says 'Marco.' And darn it if Todd doesn't say 'Polo' right back.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "All they wanna talk about is their Botox, their Tae Bo or their Xbox.", "c": ["Sara"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Heaven's gate. I'm gonna be tasting you on my moustache for a week. Wanna try for a month?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Well, yeah. She's had more stars on her than Lisa's homework.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Hello. Yes, I'm Ned Flanders' close personal friend. That's right. Hot and heavy. They've never been happier. Oh, yeah, she does look pregnant.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "You guys are jamming. Ah! Daddy, she swore.", "c": ["Sara", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Ha, ha, yup. We occupy that useless mass of land...between Los Angeles and New York called America.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Are you sleeping with Sara Sloane? - Is that moustache real? Do you plan to kill Sara like your last wife?", "c": ["Tabloid Reporters"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Your carpeted floor feels good on my toes.", "c": ["Sara"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "This movie is turning into Sponge Bob No Pants.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Katharine Hepburn never showed her breasts. - There's still time.", "c": ["Ned", "Director"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "All we gotta do is turn that woman into a fella...and that kiss into a game of Scrabble.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Thanks. I grew really close to the actress who played my daughter. I think she's in France or something.", "c": ["Sara"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I haven't felt this good since we stole the 2000 election. Hey, don't blame me. I voted for the green M&M.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Uh, number one: Sara, is it true you shoplifted a kayak?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I'll have you know she pays full price for her watercraft.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "If tears could burst through my muscular ducts...I would cry like a baby who was just hit by a hammer.", "c": ["Rainier Wolfcastle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Oh, come on. No one misses a handshake that badly.", "c": ["Rainier"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Oh, come on. No one misses a handshake that badly.", "c": ["Rainier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Exact-a-tically-tacally.", "c": ["Rainier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I won't even eat vegetables over 2 inches long.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I guess you'll be heading out on the first bus to the airport. If you ride with a friend, you can save 20 bucks.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Ned, I'm James L. Brooks. - Oh, can I call you Jim? James L. Brooks is good.", "c": ["James L. Brooks", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Hey, daddy baby. - We're movie producers now. - And we're Jewish. ROD & TODD: Yay! [SCREAMS]", "c": ["Rod", "Todd", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Heck, even Dollywood's too far out for me. Too many people appreciating it ironically.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Problem is I can't seem to get an agent. Ha. Could you give your girlfriend my headshot?", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Sure is nice to be shopping for a woman again. Last thing I bought for a lady was a casket.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. This is to adopt two of your kids. Oh, so it is. I've already dumped three on Mia Farrow. Sucker.", "c": ["Ned", "Fan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Lisa, Springfield isn't a cultural wasteland. Part of Stroker Ace was filmed at our airport.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Sara Sloane to attend girl-on-girl book club. Ho-ho, Moe, you lovable loser. You just made yourself $5. Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Now, let's go around the room and analyze why we didn't read it. - Cramps. - All my friends are dead.", "c": ["Book Club Members"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Besides, most Americans can't understand...the sophisticated subtlety of British humor. I bid you good day. [THEME FROM 'THE BENNY HILL SHOW' PLAYING]", "c": ["Helen Fielding"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Sweetie, that's not the kind of dress you wear outdoors or indoors...or in a dirty dream.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Well, Siegfried and Roy create a lot of illusions...but I doubt their girlfriends dress like that.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "That's disgusting. Don't look, Seymour. - I'm a veteran, Mother. - A veteran bed wetter.", "c": ["Agnes", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "[HOMER GRUNTING AND CHANTING] Ah. Ch! Ah. Ch! Ah. Ch! Ah.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Uh, well, that's, uh, a mighty big kettle of, uh...premarital, uh, doodly. Ha, ha.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "This is quite a dil-diddly-lemma.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "I mean, who will buy the cow when you get the milk for free? You know, the cow being me.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "It says a man should make restitution if he eats his neighbor's grain.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "That made me completely forget about Bob Balaban.", "c": ["Sara"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "That's right. I'm like Baskin-Robbins. You get one free taste, then you gotta buy the scoop.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "But unlike the Bible, I guess this ain't gonna have a happy ending.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Oh, darn the luck. That sounds like the Lupus Fun Run.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "This was followed three hours later by a quickie divorce. Ah. I bet we would have lasted twice that long.", "c": ["News Anchor", "Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Hey, Hollywood, call me. My number's on the bench.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "It's the darnedest thing. Women love you when you've dated a movie star.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 13, "et": "A Star Is Born Again"}, {"t": "Three Stooges parody with aging health issues - 'He don't have health insurance' and 'that was my paralyzed side'", "c": ["Moe", "Curly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Curly Four? I need a quarter for the bus", "c": ["Curly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Not the swear jar. It's the only thing holding back the filth", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Nutty fudgkins", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "DO YOU HEAR A NOISE? / WHAT?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "If I stop pedaling, I'll die. But it still beats U.S. Air", "c": ["Pilot"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Why do we gotta watch The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood? The boss. He's got a thing for the ya-yas", "c": ["Pilot", "Co-pilot"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Ew! I got Bart's veal. I got Lisa's plankton kebobs. Ew! Marge germs", "c": ["Family members"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "This is not a Delta hub", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "It was an application to open a Cinnabon stand", "c": ["Airport Authority"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Vote Quimby. Vote Quimby. Vote Quimby. Ahh! Without those noisy planes, I can finally hear my kitten purr", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "That's your voice? Now, I regret building you that opera house", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "We make the laws. We print the money. And we breed the super-soldiers", "c": ["Government Official"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "The dog has eaten all its hair", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Stay plugged in. I will find you", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Cookie's number one on the West Side. But this is the East Side. Who is this lady?", "c": ["Cookie", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I'll give you three crayons and my milk", "c": ["Child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I'm walking away", "c": ["Child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "The shaking's so bad, all my omelets have become frittatas", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Also I taste copper", "c": ["Congressman Wilcox"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I see a bad moon rising - That's CCR", "c": ["Bystander", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I guess there's only one way out of our problems: A murder & suicide pact", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Jesse 'The Body' Ventura, Sonny Bono, Gopher from Love Boat", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Have your mom mail back the hat after, uh, you know...", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's the spirit. Keep fighting. Where's my chai latte?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Immigration? Oh, uh, Teeny here is from Brazil. His uncle was the head monkey at the Bureau of Tourism", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "It's doing 13 while she's elevening your five", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Sure, no 12 off my ass", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "The Mississippi River is now the Mississippi Reagan. And my good friend Frankenstein is now Frankenreagan. Bleh!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Bob Dole likes to hear Bob Dole talk about Bob Dole. Bob Dole", "c": ["Bob Dole"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Russian hooker. You tell me", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I did find out one fact: she was a guy", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "You said, 'You're going to vomit on their mother's graves'", "c": ["Translator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "She had more acting talent in one boob than most women have in their entire rack", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Yeah, listen to the tomato with the melons", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "For a thousand, I can have somebody whacked. Uh, it's a joke. When you give me that look, it's a joke", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "How can I prove we're live? Penis", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Take a look at this incredibly offensive sketch from his show", "c": ["John Armstrong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Oh, my cheese, she stinks. No, wait. it's me", "c": ["France character"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Hey, man. I call for a joint session. This vote is dreadlocked", "c": ["Jamaica character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Hello there, sailor. I'm here and fabulous. Now, I'd like to make a motion. Woo!", "c": ["San Francisco character"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "You can't judge me by that sketch. It was a different time, 1998", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I'm Carlton Witherspoon III. Where's my five iron?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Krusty, why did you just drop your pants? I needed a joke to go out on", "c": ["Lisa", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "He's really looking out for me, the average Joe Sixtooth. Where'd you get yourself another tooth? Sidewalk", "c": ["Cletus", "Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "A voice that will go: Ahooga! Wah-wah! Wac ka-wac ka-wac ka!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "The pipes under my toilet don't lead nowhere", "c": ["Constituent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "And watch out for the 612", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Welcome to Fox News. Your voice for evil", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I have a name. Yes, I'm sure you do, comrade", "c": ["John Armstrong", "Fox Host"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "He hasn't won yet. You make a very adulterous point.", "c": ["Democratic candidate", "Fox anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "You make a very adulterous point", "c": ["Fox Host"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Photographs have been modified to include Krusty", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I'm on pins and needles. And I'm on Pepto and Xanax.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I'm so nervous, I kissed my dog and gave my girlfriend a flea bath", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I won. I'm a senator. Congressman. Whatever", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "So relax, gun nuts. I can't touch you", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "So relax, gun nuts. I can't touch you.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Freshmen congressmen don't introduce squat. You gotta pee in a bucket until your second term", "c": ["Senior Congressman"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Grover Cleveland sucks what? Leave that, lest we forget", "c": ["Senior Congressman"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I say we make them out of chocolate. Kids eat them. Why fight it?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "We congressmen are full of it. I blather on for hours. Yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap!", "c": ["Congressman"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Did I promise to be a slave to big oil? No. Well, then none", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "How could you vote? You're only 10. This is not about me. Or how many times I voted", "c": ["Krusty", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "That's jelly. From the unknown toaster", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "No one usually shows up unless there's a vote. Well, then why are you here? I steal stuff when everyone's gone", "c": ["Congressman", "Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Beat it, Waxie. No. Let's hear him out. He looks a little like Walter Mondale", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Wrong. That's wrong", "c": ["Waxie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "Sir, I studied under Ed McMahon", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "You remind me of my high school drinking coach", "c": ["Southern Congressman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "You call this a bicameral legislature?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I say, I say, my groin", "c": ["Southern Congressman"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I don't wanna fight no Union", "c": ["Southern Congressman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "I've become enchanted and illusioned with Washington", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "That's right, over the homes of poor people", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 14, "et": "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington"}, {"t": "The Big Bopper? Ritchie Valens? Buddy Holly? No! [ALL HISSING]", "c": ["Scratchy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "You get to stay downstairs watching TV with the sound turned way up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Oh, we'll be upstairs in the bedroom making lovely rope ladders... in case there's a fire.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Children, so naive. - What? - Who's naive? I didn't say anything. So naive.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Thanks for the love tip, 60 Minutes II.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Hey there, Little Red Riding Hood. I ate your granny. And now I'm in the mood for love.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Homer plays lullaby instead of sexy music, Marge falls asleep", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Oh, no. That's Maggie's mixtape. Then Maggie must have gotten... [Tom Jones' 'Sex Bomb' playing]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Shut down on Valentine's Day. That's supposed to be a gimme.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Oh, 'glayvin.' Oh, nice lady android with the true-to-life 'floivic.'", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Suicide, eh? That's it. Thank you, outdoor advertising. You've saved my marriage, and not for the first time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Oh, yes. I put myself through medical school... dancing under the name Malcolm Sex.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Cletus: 'Well, I'm here to win back Brandine. She been making eyes at that photographer what come to document our squalor.'", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Homer, take this quarter, call your mother. Tell her you're never going to be a stripper.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Homer: 'Three coats' when asked if he's already oiled, then 'That oil was for the entire class'", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Aren't you gonna chuckle? There's nothing to chuckle about.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "You, the greasy, naked, bald man. - Ah! You know everything about me.", "c": ["Richdale", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Unh, the trick is to blot the oil. Wiping just pushes it around. You're preaching to the choir, man.", "c": ["Richdale", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "God, look at you, losers. I can read your minds. Ooh, ooh, I'm afraid of success. It's pizza's fault I'm fat. Oh, I'll stop sucking later.", "c": ["Richdale"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "You see this watch? It's jammed with so many jewels, the hands can't move.", "c": ["Richdale"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Well, I drew it on. See?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "That's a Bentley Mark 12. They gave one to me... one to Steven Spielberg, and they shot the guy who made it.", "c": ["Richdale"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "I don't wanna die. I'm so young.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "I was tired of putting my keys in that bowl like a caveman. I finally harnessed the awesome power of the hook.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "I say Phantom Menace sucked more. I say Attack of the Clones sucked more.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Oh, have you now? Well, huzzah, huzzah. I'll just throw back my legs and pollute my britches with delight.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "And what book is that? The Ape Who Wanted a Big Bonus?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Stop wasting my time, you corn-fed man-cow.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "He just steps over everyone who works for him... taking pleasure in making us feel small. Oh, Homie. Don't let it get you down. So Mr. Burns doesn't take you seriously. Big whoop. Who gives a doodle? Whoopie ding dong doo.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "So my husband goes to a bar every night. Whoop-de-do. Who gives a bibble? Gabba, gabba, hey.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Moe, we've been complaining about him every night for eight years.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Or give him some face time with sweet lady brick.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Wait till he steps on this flaming bag of, ah... Lisa's college fund?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Heh, talk about your runaway government.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "The legal owner of this plant would, Canary M. Burns.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Why, Standard Oil was once owned by a half-eaten breakfast.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "From my room, I can hear everything. Me too. The walls are paper-thin. Ugh. Hi. And it wouldn't hurt you to put up some curtains.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Now, fly to the Canary Islands.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Ah! Good Lord. That canary was supposed to be my pigeon.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Hello. - Yes, yes, hello. - Now I need to find a patsy. - Hello. You're quite the friendly fellow. - But right now I'm looking for a patsy. - Hello.", "c": ["Homer", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "This moon-faced simpleton... is continually interrupting my search for a patsy. Why to...? Hello.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "That's right. And as my first act... Mr. Burns, you're fired.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "So the caterpillar has emerged from its cocoon... as a shark with a gun for a mouth.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Eat crowd, old man!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "And today begins my reign of... terrific management.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Unlike Mr. Burns, I will respect you, the working-class slob... because we are all equals. And now, as I ascend this crystal staircase to my office... I say, avert your gaze.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Now, open it again and put a walnut in there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Now I'm forcibly retired, I feel I should give back to society... and do some charitable work. But first, I want to take a lot of opium.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Drugs? Everything is drugs. Banana made of drugs, monkey made of drugs. Look, all market made of drugs. Our money is made of drugs.", "c": ["Foreign vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Homer, I'll go over the year-end profit forecast... if you'll stop looking at my boobs. - No deal.", "c": ["Assistant", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Hey, that's a printer port, not a finger hole.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "And I'm the man at the ballpark everyone hates. - The umpire? - No, Billy Crystal.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "Burns: 'I worked here for three score and twain.' Homer: 'That's 62 years in the new English.'", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "This was my fianc\u00e9e, Gertrude. I was working so hard, I missed our wedding, honeymoon... and our divorce proceedings. She died of loneliness. Loneliness and rabies.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 15, "et": "Cedoh"}, {"t": "He didn't say anything about SkinnerInAShredder.com. Let's make this the best year ever.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Well, they're not good enough to wipe my lens.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "No. Because they pass the savings on to me, the consumer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Look, I give people a meatlike burger and some kind of cola", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Good as new. [stapling burgers together]", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "What about us cool kids? Should we just chill out?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "You're doing great. Stay with the dink.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "I chuck 'em at nerds, girls I like- whatever.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "And in a flash, Bart's glory has gone the way of England's masculinity.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "My sash says 'Ultraman.'", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "I haven't seen such a natural pair since 'half-sandwich and soup of the day.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Remember, as far as he knows, we still teach math.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Well, I am young, gifted and yellow.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "picking and nibbling until, one day, you're 38 and managing a Barnes & Noble.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Pick a path and follow it, or you'll just grow up, slog your way through Mount Holyoke and squeeze out babies.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Even that kid that wears diapers is more popular. And he ain't popular.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Like after the time I accidentally called the teacher Mom.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Even I beat you up that day, after you passed out.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Eh, I snapped it off some jerk's car. I could go to prison for life, but whatever.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "All that's left for me is to become the biggest drunk this town's ever seen.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Talkin' won't get you there. [gulping sounds]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "And what's that? - I'm gonna die alone!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "I spent 30 years brushing the teeth of dead monsters.", "c": ["Museum Worker"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "home of a familiar blue planet we call... Rigel 7- not too far from Earth.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Will it be you? Or you? Or... you? [pointing at everyone]", "c": ["Exhibit"], "jt": ["running_gag", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Boi-oi-oi-oingggg!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! Space monsters are invading us! - Dad, that's a moth.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Dad, that's a kaleidoscope. You may be a smart kid, Lisa, but you don't know much about not hurting people's feelings.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot, surviving Beach Boys.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "For three seconds there, you were legally the mayor. - Yeah! And you was a girl, Joe!", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "No one ever wrote a poem about sickly orange barf glow.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "For astronomers like me- [mumbling] umb-hiven- this is a bigger problem, even than, oh, I don't know, say, getting a date, which is difficult for the geeky people.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "They're like hermit crabs. They really are crabs- Oh, there's one now. I see you!", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "That's not a hood ornament. It's a pacifier you spray-painted silver.", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Oh, look. It's jill-of-all-trades. So, what's the ambition du jour?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "How'd you come up with that- tilt your head up?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Does it make you feel superior to tear down people's dreams? - Yes. Does it make you feel smart to question people's motives? - Yes. - Well, all right then.", "c": ["Lisa", "Nelson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Yarr! I'd be happy to scrimshaw your petition.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "or a faded Southern belle who needs the forgiving cloak of night to seduce naive young delivery boys with more pizza than common sense", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Look out, Matthew Modine and Charlene Tilton. There are new stars in town- sky stars!", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "cave-in to the astronomer lobby", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Naturally, we blamed it on the Irish. We hanged more than a few.", "c": ["Abe Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Named after its discoverer- Professor Artemis Deadly- who was, ironically, killed in the shower of 1853.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "This is great! It's darker than a French chick's armpit!", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "unmatched since the Detroit Tigers last made the play-offs over two centuries ago", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "The government has issued an orange alert, which, once again, means nothing.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Try-a the cheese-a pizza. It's greasy like-a you.", "c": ["Luigi/Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "You're gonna depreciate a Mafia don's car? Hey, we're all gonna be murdered someday.", "c": ["Luigi", "Bart/Luigi"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "But at the risk of enraging you by making you look-a stupid, we have no valet parking.", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "You mean that 10-year-old with a mustache was a phony?", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Let's fire blindly into the dark. - No. You might hit a made man.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Hey. You're not John Ritter. - And you ain't that gorilla from the zoo. - Meh. Eh.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "No one's ever won Moe's 'drink a gallon of gin' challenge. And no one ever will.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "You know what this reminds me of- my Icelandic boyhood.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "What am I- superdad?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "I'll bet somewhere there's a horse drinking coffee.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Don't you think you're overreacting, talking gum-ball machine?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Don't you think you're overreacting, talking gum-ball machine?", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "you can't see anything in the sky except the Fox satellite", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "You can say it. I add nothing.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Aw, my baby's first words.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Gandhi also said, 'Less talk, more rock!'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "But, Chief, we are the entire force.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "I'll catch 'em on my tongue for luck. Ow! Ow! Ow!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "I can't read porno by candlelight! Who am I- Abe Lincoln!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "I wish Jimmy the Snitch could see this. [muffled voice] Well, just open the trunk!", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Jimmy the Snitch"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "I wish God were alive to see this.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "I wish God were alive to see this.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "I'm gonna live with Underground Grandma.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "Soccer mom! - I'll be batting .352 in the majors!", "c": ["Kid", "Kid 2"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 16, "et": "Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky"}, {"t": "He didn't say anything about SkinnerInAShredder.com", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Upskirt Dreams", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Well, they're not good enough to wipe my lens", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "No. Because they pass the savings on to me, the consumer", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Look, I give people a meat-like burger and some kind of cola", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Good as new", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Stay with the dink", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Springfield's Machiavelli of the monkey bars", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I chuck them at nerds, girls I like. Whatever", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Bart's glory has gone the way of England's masculinity", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "When you leave home in the morning, you may be kissing your dolls goodbye for the last time", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "My sash says 'Ultraman'", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I've just been listening to Bach while reading at a sixth-grade level", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I haven't seen such a natural pair since half sandwich and soup of the day", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Remember, as far as he knows, we still teach Math", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Huh? What? Go, Aberdeen!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Well, I am young, gifted and yellow", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "So you see yourself more as a buffet-style intellectual", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Picking and nibbling until one day you're 38 and managing a Barnes & Noble", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Or you'll grow up, slog your way through Mount Holyoke and squeeze out babies", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Even that kid that wears diapers is more popular. And he ain't popular", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Even I beat you up that day. After you passed out", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "You haven't touched your Dinnerables.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Pfft! Talking won't get you there", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "And what's that? - I'm gonna die alone", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Don't do it, little girl. I spent 30 years brushing the teeth of dead monsters", "c": ["Museum Worker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Ew.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Now who will press my reset button? Will it be you? Or you?", "c": ["Recording narrator"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Boing!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "You may be a smart kid, but you don't know much about not hurting people's feelings", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot, surviving Beach Boys", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "For three seconds there, you were legally the mayor", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "No one ever wrote a poem about sickly orange barf glow", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "say, getting a date, which is difficult for the geeky people", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "They're like hermit crabs", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "That's not a hood ornament. It's a pacifier you spray-painted silver", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Ha, ha!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Does it make you feel superior to tear down people's dreams? - Yes. Does it make you feel smart to question people's motives? - Yes. - Well, all right then", "c": ["Lisa", "Nelson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Argh! I'd be happy to scrimshaw your petition", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "or a faded southern belle who needs the forgiving cloak of night to seduce na\u00efve young delivery boys with more pizza than common sense", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Named after its discoverer, Professor Artimus Deadly, who was, ironically, killed in the shower of 1853", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Naturally, we blamed it on the Irish. We hanged more than a few", "c": ["Jasper"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "It's darker than a French chick's armpit", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "This is great. It's darker than a French chick's armpit.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Buonasera, Fat Tony. I park your car the way Mama used to do", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Try the cheese pizza. It's greasy like, uh, you", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Hey, heh, we're all gonna be murdered someday", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "You mean that 10-year-old with a mustache was a phony?", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "You know, Bart, I really like spending time with you", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Hey, you're not John Ritter. - And you ain't that gorilla from the zoo", "c": ["Snake", "Lou"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "No one's ever won Moe's drink-a-gallon-of-gin challenge. And no one ever will.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "What am I, Super Dad?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I'll bet somewhere there's a horse drinking coffee", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Don't you think you're overreacting, talking gumball machine?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Aw, my baby's first words.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Gandhi also said less talk, more rock", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I'll catch them on my tongue for luck", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I can't read porno by candlelight! Who am I, Abe Lincoln?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Whoa, I don't need drugs to enjoy this. Just to enhance it", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I wish Jimmy the Snitch could see this. JIMMY: Well, just open the trunk.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Jimmy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I wish Jimmy the Snitch could see this. - Well, just open the trunk", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Oh, great glayvin in a Glad bag. That meteor contains carbon-based molecules.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Oh, great glayvin in a Glad bag", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I wish God were alive to see this", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I'm gonna live with Underground Grandma", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "I'll be batting .352 in the majors.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 17, "et": "Three Gays Of The Condo"}, {"t": "Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds. [ALL SCREAMING AND DOGS BARKING]", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Should I call them off, sir? - No, no. It's their Christmas too.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "That's even worse than 'I'm Dreaming of a Whitefish Christmas.' For this, I tied my bathrobe?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "They belong to everyone, like grapes at the grocery store.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Those suck. They're worse than nothing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Don't use A-flat or G-natural. Those are owned by Disney. - Oh. - That's A-flat. - Oh! - That's better.", "c": ["Lawyer", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "If I can make my own clothes, I can do anything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Well, the Bible says it's fun to do stuff together.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Flanders, I am a patient, reasonable, handsome man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "It's a popsicle in my favorite flavor, plain.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Everybody in the U.S.A. Hates their stupid neighbor / He's Flanders And he's really, really lame", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "And I used to wrestle under the name El Diablo. - I thought that was Philip Glass. - Yeah, he wishes.", "c": ["David Byrne", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Hey, mister, if you like my song so much, would you like to buy a tape? It's already rewound.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "LENNY & CARL: D-E-R HOMER: His wife is dead [WOMAN SCREAMS]", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "- That's us. - Hurray!", "c": ["Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Another cover? My God, let it die.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Now I know how God feels.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "What? It said 'take one.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "'The Denzel Washington Monument'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Or we could go to Walter Gropius' Bauhaus Village. - And fight the crowds? Forget it.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Watch it, Mr. Byrne. You'll slip on the simonize. - Simonize? [YELLS]", "c": ["Moe", "David Byrne"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Wasn't that the hospital? - Uh, you ever see the movie Misery? - Actually, no. - Then this'll all be new to you.", "c": ["David Byrne", "Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Son, the only Internet connection we got is a dedicated DSL port in the business center. Or you could patch in through the smart fridge in your cabin.", "c": ["Ranch Owner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Hmm, if said fridge is smart, it will be filled with Hot Pockets and bologna by the time I get there.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "On this battleground in 1881, 56 Indians lost their lives and four brave Americans lost their hats. [WHIMPERING] Those poor hats.", "c": ["Historical Sign", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "This whole ranch is appalling. It's built on a legacy of cruelty to animals and oppression of indigenous people. - Just our way of making y'all feel welcome.", "c": ["Lisa", "Ranch Owner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "I'll show you how they get on a horse where I come from. - Daddy, I need upsies. - Coming, sweetie.", "c": ["Homer", "Maggie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Pleased to meet you. Have a tooth.", "c": ["Cookie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Hey, Crabby Hayes, get with the program.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Mama rattlesnake would be mighty sore if you scrambled her young'un.", "c": ["Luke"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "My precious.", "c": ["Cleanie"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "He unified the nations of the western plains. Five dollars or three for 12.", "c": ["Native American"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Can you shoot one where I'm Rambo and my wife is Betty Boop? - You mean package B.", "c": ["Tourist", "Native American"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Then the river was dammed to make that lake by our ancient enemy, the beaver.", "c": ["Native American"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, the beaver is also our god. In retrospect, it was a poor choice.", "c": ["Native American"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Sure. And when we do, your breakfast will be comped. - How many decks will your blackjack dealers use? - Eight. - Three. - Four. - Deal.", "c": ["Native American", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "I didn't gasp like that until I was 18.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "No! I wanted to die choking on food.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Stop shoving. The little one isn't getting any.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Free range my ass. Tonight you're gonna be swimming next to a matzo ball.", "c": ["Luke"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Oh, it looks like a happy sheep. - Oh. - Oh, damn it.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa", "Luke"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Don't rightly know. I just soaked up the lingo like a biscuit in a bucket full of gopher gravy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "But when he's 23, I'll be 18.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "I didn't marry the first boy I... Well, I did, but you shouldn't.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "It's beef hormones and the fluorescent lights. What are you gonna do?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "[BRITNEY SPEARS' 'OOPS!... I DID IT AGAIN' PLAYING] Oops!... I did it again I played with your heart Got lost in the game", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "A dance? A dance? [LAUGHING AND WHOOPING]", "c": ["Cookie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Whew. I'm pooped. I'm going to bed. - Bed? [WHOOPS]", "c": ["Cookie", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Love you too, Clara.", "c": ["Luke"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "But a quicker way to the ranch is that shortcut. Thanks, darling. See you at the dance.", "c": ["Lisa", "Clara"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Delicious motel furniture.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "That's a $17 deck of cards. - Let it go, Dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Finally, man has triumphed over a small furry animal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Actually, it's Fresca. - Fresca?", "c": ["Native American", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Hell, no. They outlawed that in this state two years ago.", "c": ["Luke"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Done something terrible. - Don't care. Just totally caught in the moment.", "c": ["Lisa", "Luke"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "But I'll be back in six months. - Yee-haw! - Blanks. They just don't feel the same.", "c": ["Sheriff", "Crowd", "Sheriff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Who are you, the 'used to' police?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "I'm one lesson short.", "c": ["Clara"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Well, that certainly justifies attempted murder.", "c": ["Clara"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "And when... Hello, handsome. - What's up, cootie breath?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Homer, those are elk. - I still hate them. Go back to Grosse Pointe.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "You're the kind of slicker my family left Central Park West to avoid.", "c": ["Luke"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "You got a lot of chutzpah, missy.", "c": ["Luke"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Who is he? - You, Homie. - Whoo-hoo! In your face, imaginary guy.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Moe, Moe, Moe / How do you like me? How do you like me? / Moe, Moe, Moe / Why don't you like me? Nobody likes me", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Oh, that can't be good for the struts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 18, "et": "Dude Wheres My Ranch"}, {"t": "Teacher hit me with a ruler / I cracked her in the bean / With a frozen Jimmy Dean / And she ain't my teacher no more / Because she's dead", "c": ["Bart", "Martin", "Nelson", "Database", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Girls are yucky. Seconded and carried. A fart was detected. Martin denied it...and so was ruled to have supplied it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "These Batpants have been shredded by the Riddler. No, just your ass. That's what I call my ass.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "If I understand the female mind, and I do, they're plotting against us.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Each year we lose seven species of gumdrops", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "[IMITATING MARGE] Lisa, this is your mother. The doctor says your butt's too big.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "No one told me there'd be pulling.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "I'll build you a new tree house. One so grand...it'll be an affront to God himself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Only losers buy wood.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "This track has been abandoned since 19... Uh-oh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Nothing beats flying across the country on a train.", "c": ["Train Passenger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Did Frank Lloyd Wright have to deal with people like you? / I have no idea who Frank Lloyd Wright is. / You said his name two seconds ago. / I was just putting words together.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Homer and Bart having a nail gun fight", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Didst thou hear that, Isaac? / Aye. Someone needs the Amish. / To the Buggymobile!", "c": ["Amish Men"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Oh, the Amish are so industrious. Not like those shiftless Mennonites.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Roll them bones. Three craps.", "c": ["Mennonite"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "It really restores your faith in helpful weirdoes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Who knows more about electricity than the Amish?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "By going down the ladder, you're agreeing not to sue.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "By going down the ladder, you're agreeing not to sue.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "By going down the ladder, you're agreeing not to sue.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Head burning. Legs freezing. Middle very pleasant.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Pointy, pointy, spiky, stylish... Aah! Where's baldy?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Flames? Searing pain? A black cat? I must be in heaven.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "I always thought cats were just for losers who live in apartments...until my life was saved by this sweet little kitty.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "I make you lasagna. You eat it up like the cat in the funny papers...who's not so funny.", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Today I can truly say Ich bin ein feline.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Damn, that's a lemony cola.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "I prefer catsup to ketchup. And to me, Yusuf Islam will always be Cat Stevens.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "God, no. It sucks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "He was the first openly gay dog in Hollywood.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "He bit me right in the Axis!", "c": ["Nazi in film"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "'Grow a mustache,' says the wife. 'You'll look handsome,' says the wife.", "c": ["Mailman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Marge, prepare the emergency ham.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "He's young, he's slim, and he can stand on his hind legs. Unlike our current spokesman.", "c": ["Duff Executive"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "But what about my children? Duffgirl and Dufflad?", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "I don't care if his name is Bony McDork. Just make the checks out to me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Very good. Now, let me stand on my mark between the snake and its baby...", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "How can you get a buzz chewing freeze-dried beer?", "c": ["Astronaut"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "How can you get a buzz chewing freeze-dried beer?", "c": ["Astronaut"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "National Association of the Sellers of Alcohol.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Like eat at Arby's.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Kent, let me make this perfectly clear. I have no dog.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Who's gonna eat my homework now?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "If I keep talking here, Kelly can't jump in. Come on, Suds. Toss me a bone.", "c": ["Regis"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "That guy exploits his pets worse than Bob Guccione.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "But show me a Simpson that isn't. / I'm not a coward. / [YELLING] / You're not a coward.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "If you have 6 liters of blood and your blood is 80 percent alcohol...how much alcohol do you have? Anyone?", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "An icy-cold, full-bodied, beech wood-aged, amber-hued day in...", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Then I must be Jesus. Up, up and away!", "c": ["Barry Duffman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Mother, I served in Nam. / And you've been bitching about it for 30 years.", "c": ["Sea Captain", "Sea Captain's Mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Check it out. That shark's wasted. He's gone from predator to partier.", "c": ["Bystander"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Let me think. How did that beautiful young naked lady in Jaws make it out alive?", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Guys wanna be him, girls think they can change him.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "All we have left are the earthquake ham and the condolence ham. / Marge, they're just hams, okay?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "To me, that says 'I love you.' / I think he left a 'big hug' in your lunchbox.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "All we have left are the earthquake ham and the condolence ham. / Marge, they're just hams, okay?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Everyone's against me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 19, "et": "Old Yeller Belly"}, {"t": "Hmm, I thought I was being kicked exceptionally hard lately.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "If I could be any type of shark, I'd be a tiger shark. - How about you, Milhouse? - I guess a nurse shark. I mean... Oh! Ow, ow!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Shut up. What am I, some sort of joke to you people?", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Shut up. It's not that exciting.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Hey, without oil, you wouldn't have your fancy four-wheel drives. You want to go back to two-wheel drive? Well, do you?", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "I didn't mean to steal focus.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "These sea lions survive by eating the leftovers of the various film crews that plague the continent.", "c": ["Documentary Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Where do you keep the fish till it's done? Oh, they're well taken care of in our storage facility.", "c": ["Lisa", "Sea Captain"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Oh, I might have known. But I didn't.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Bart will be up and underachieving in no time.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Now, you stay shackled to that radiator until you come up with some insurance.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Well, it's 11 a.m. on a workday, so he must be at that stupid bar.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "I don't think he's here. Uh, hang on. Let me check. [GRUNTS] Nope. What you wearing?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Okay, five more minutes and I'm chewing my hand off.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "I went to the video store to rent a movie for the family.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "That monkey's wearing a hat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Look, he's misspelling words. [SOBBING] Oh, she's so...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "You just can't get a cell phone. Lindsay Naegle, Veriqual Cellular.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Can I get a phone that plays the Mexican hat dance? I insist on it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "I dance, I dance, I dance Around the Mexican hat I dance, I dance, I dance And that's the end of that Or is it? I guess I'll keep singing My cell phone appears to be ringing", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Barney, you ever notice how hard it is to drive with your knees? Why don't get one of those hands-free phones? It's the next best thing to paying attention to the road.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Then I could give the brothers the black-power salute. Black power, black power.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 4.96, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Was that Al Roker? His exuberance is perplexing.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Uh, a lighter. - I weep for you.", "c": ["Homer", "Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "These days, everything from fax machines to coffeemakers can be plugged into your dash hole.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.97, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Even I think this is crazy.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Chaka Khan, let me rock you Let me rock you Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan", "c": ["Car Audio System"], "jt": ["running_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Save me, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Oh, I'll never mock the Coast Guard again. You Navy rejects are all right.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "And I certainly can't drive to the store at work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "That reminds me. We gotta pick up my slacks at that dry cleaner in Shelbyville. Why can't you use the local dry cleaner? Uh, I didn't want him to know my size.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Thanks for picking my friends up from the strip club, Marge. Can we stop for ice cream? Homer always stops for ice cream. We'll see. That always means no.", "c": ["Barney", "Kids", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 4.74, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Stupid walking. Thighs chafing horribly. No drink holder. I miss my car so much.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "I can't drive 55 because it only goes 38.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "I let go of the parking brake. Ralphie, if you stop... I'll let you play with my gun.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Ralph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Maybe I should just keep walking instead of going into a dark, dreary bar. Get in here, boozy. You're late for your drunkening.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "No. From now on, walking is my beer and feeling good is my hangover.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Maybe this is a sign. Maybe it's time to get out of the alcohol business... give barber college another try. And this time, I won't join a frat. Who the hell am I talking to?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "You see? I'm finally thin enough to wrap this thing around my arm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "You see? Before I probably would've driven to the syrup.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Calm down, Stresserella.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "But real chauffeurs have uniforms and licenses. You could get in a lot of trouble with the Livery Commission. To hell with the Livery Commission. You don't know what you're saying.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Indeed. You take this teacher-evaluation test. I'll proctor. Read the directions silently as I read them aloud to you.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Look at those suckers in their metal coffins.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Bishop to queen four. We're playing dominoes. I said bishop to queen four.", "c": ["Homer", "Old Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Simpson, you're a menace. Oh, George, leave the boy be. Martha, I want a divorce. Oh, George, you've made me so happy.", "c": ["George", "Martha"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "You're the first one here. Please accept this free ticket to the 1939 World's Fair.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Walking, eh? Let me give it a try. Well, I'd better drag myself to the hospital.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "We touched hands. Then we had to wash the cooties off.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "A Peruvian fighting frog. Hey, I brought a Peruvian fighting frog.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "When will they stop? Come nightfall.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Yay! I wanna amble. I wanna saunter. Amble. Saunter. Stop saying things.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "He proposed to another hooker at the bus station.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "It sure has. You see this bulge back here? Now it actually is a fanny pack. Unh, no, wait. It's still my ass. But your point is well taken.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "I like to walk down the avenue Bust a move with Disco Stu", "c": ["Homer", "Disco Stu"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Top of the morning, ladies. Bite us.", "c": ["Homer", "Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Hi, Homer. I'm actor Steve Buscemi. The guy who got fed into the wood chipper in Fargo?", "c": ["Steve Buscemi", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Would we?", "c": ["Homer", "Steve Buscemi"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Oh, my feet are inside me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "It would've been worse if I hadn't been carrying this Bible in my crotch.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Aah! Too hot. Too hot. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Aah! Hot. Hot. Hot. Warm. Tepid. Cool. Cold. Cold. So cold.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "The doctor says that soon my pelvis will actually be stronger and more beautiful than ever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Gee, everything always works out for you.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "That's ridiculous. I don't like you. I mean hate you, hate you, hate you. I hate you!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "I've heard that from coworkers, strangers on the street, even my own children. But I never thought I'd hear it from you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Who's we? Got a mouse in your purse?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "She used to elbow me in the face.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Perhaps you feel that your husband sees you as less of a partner and more of a doormat? Nothing could be further from the... You could be onto something there.", "c": ["Counselor", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "There's Homer, Homer J. Simpson, and Commander Cool, a.k.a. me. That's us in a nutshell.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "If Marge isn't happy, I'm not happy. And if I'm not happy, Moe is very happy. But for once, this isn't about Moe.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "You mean, like give her full custody of the kids? Yeah, full custody. That's exactly what I... You're an idiot.", "c": ["Homer", "Counselor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "You mean, like give her full custody of the kids? Yeah, full custody. That's exactly what I... You're an idiot.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Zweig"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "You wanna know how to make a peach crumble? Kick it in the groin. Ha!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "You can bring a bag of ice. Lousy Homer. I'll show him. Tonight, his beloved mock apple pie will have real apples.", "c": ["Homer", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "You got everyone in Springfield here for me. Honey, I couldn't keep them away if I tried, except for Flanders. He was mysteriously called out of town.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "I brought you me finest catch of the day. We lost a dozen good men. But it's worth it just to see ye smile.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "That's it, eh? Twelve men. Well, I've got some families to inform. Unbelievable... Nothing. Just a curse on your very soul.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Jackson Browne. Oh, the Pretender. From my latest album. Oh, no. Just kidding. Here's one of my many classics. That I fixed with new words.", "c": ["Jackson Browne", "Crowd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Except a place to live and free food. Why, you little...", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "Unh, I'm so full, my control-top panel is in shards.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "You're welcome. And now, Marge, we cooked, you clean. What? Ha, ha, only teasing. We've flown in the finest busboys from France... Uh, I mean, America.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "And now to all my dear friends, I say, get the hell out of my yard.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "And now to all my dear friends, I say, get the hell out of my yard.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 20, "et": "Brake My Wife Please"}, {"t": "I hear those kids' voices are done by grown-ups. Hey, nothing wrong with that. I just wonder how they keep it so fresh after 43 episodes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I can't believe we paid to see Steve Guttenberg... Calista Flockhart and Farty the crippled robot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "If they don't, I've wasted a lot of my life.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Then I'd be the most popular kid in school. Knowing you, you'd mess it up somehow.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Sometimes I wish a cat would eat me.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "That is so gay.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.28, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I know how to make some. Peanuts, butter. Now, we just put the top on. Hey, I didn't get where I am putting tops on things.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I feel like luge silver medalist Barbara Niedernuber.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "What are the Beatles? They wrote all the songs on Maggie's baby records. 'John Lemon, Orange Harrison, Paul Mclced Tea, Mango Starr'?", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "A 40-year-old novelty beverage? Hand it over.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I don't feel so fab.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Sin of pride, Roddy. I'm sorry. Sin of regret.", "c": ["Ned", "Rod"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.36, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "The house is slightly askew. To the panic room!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "We'll be safe inside our fortress When they come / We'll be safe from creeps and killers When they come / Unless they have a blow torch Or a poison gas injector / Then I don't know what'll happen When they come", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Well, if you just wanna talk... talk about Eddie sleeping with my ex-wife. The divorce was final. When is a divorce ever final?", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Well, well, well, looks like a couple of punks... are gonna be taking the last train to Clarksville. That's the Monkees, chief. Go wait in the car.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Ha, hijinks. Funny word. Three dotted letters in a row. Is it hyphenated? It used to be. Back in the bad old days. Of course, every generation hyphenates the way it wants to.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Then there's *NSYNC. Ha! What the hell is that? Jump in anytime, Eddie. These are good topics.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Of course I am. They were bigger than Jesus. But your boy went Yoko and broke up my collection.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I am so tired of that tautology.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Courts aren't fit to keep children in line. They're good for telling women what to do with their bodies.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Hee, hee, look at me. I'm Brian Epstein. Now I'm Michael Jackson. 'I own all your songs, losers.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "'The 5-H Club.' Five-H? They had to admit homosexuals.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Something about that boy just shakes up your soda.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Just like real Indians. Dad, maybe you could lead Bart's tribe. You mean, like some sort of madman? Ideally, no, but... I'll do it.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I am Homer tribal chief / I am wearing tiny briefs / Braves teach values boys should know / Now extended drum solo", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Pick one. I am 'Burger With Fries.' Man, is that uninspired.", "c": ["Homer", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Jeez, no wonder these guys lost the Civil War.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I shall bet no more forever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, after further review, the Great Father in the sky determined that the receiver's moccasins were out of bounds.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Indians don't sit around drinking beer and watching TV.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "They probably want their souls back.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Hail to our new chief, the surprisingly hot Mrs. Simpson.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Oh, I'll be at Moe's talking normal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "If my old man sees me in these, he'll kill me. You haven't seen your dad in years. Hey, today might be the day.", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Papa. Papa. Never leave me again.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "No, but we encourage the myth. Chicks really dig you when you're the last of something.", "c": ["Jim Proudfoot"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "and the wind was so gentle it would tie your shoes for you.", "c": ["Jim Proudfoot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Uh, I'm giving it back to the earth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "And why are we gonna do it? Liberal guilt. Yay!", "c": ["Marge", "Kids"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "'Activity Participated In By Some.' Hey, that's great.", "c": ["Journalist", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Make sure you use Pine-Sol on those pine trees... for that pine fresh smell.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Oh, for God's sakes, I can see why he left.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "It's awful. It looks like Wisconsin.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Boy, I got up on the wrong side of the futon today.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Boy, I got up on the wrong side of the futon today.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "We're the bad boys... of non-denominational community youth groups.", "c": ["Shelbyville kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Then I guess this means war.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies.", "c": ["Ralph", "Girl Scout"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Cavalry Kids are bigger credit hogs than the Red Cross.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Another of those youth groups that apes the cultures... of indigenous peoples you invaded and destroyed? Exactly. The Pre-Teen Braves.", "c": ["Apu", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I can't help myself. Punch and grope. Punch and grope. It's all I was taught.", "c": ["Drederick Tatum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I'm a brick.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Oh, it's too tight. Take it off. Take it off. Take it off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Oh, it's too tight. Take it off. Take it off. Take it off. Men of cruelty.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Oh, sure. We were just gonna buy... the same candy inside the store but for less.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Melts in your mouth, not in your pants.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Holy moly. I'm moving like Ginger Rogers.", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Looks like this is one time the Indians didn't win.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I'm gonna take that bartending course, including today's lighter drinks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "People will do anything a sign tells them.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Or did it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Do you have 5 bucks for regular parking? Because I don't.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Baseball? Eh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "You talk pretty tough for a man without health insurance. I'm on federal assistance.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "I sang at your wedding. Yeah, 'The Best Is Yet to Come.' Real original.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Then show us your boobs.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Not a hymn to war like our national anthem... but a sweet soothing hymn like the national anthem of Canada.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Well, Bart, we've learned that war is not the answer. Except to all of America's problems. Amen.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 21, "et": "The Bart Of War"}, {"t": "Homer laughs at a sign and asks if anyone wants to know why it's funny", "c": ["Homer", "Family"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Homer always picks seven because 'there were seven apostles'", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Boy, that's a big staff. And still he wasn't that funny.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Stupid prey. They never suspect anything... Ooh, a hotdog. [HOMER GRUNTING]", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Flower power my ass.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Hey, those are my customers-slash-only friends.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'I've been replaced by a cooler?'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Someone who's alone, already bitter... someone who's been trampled on so many times... one more won't make any... Oh, Moe.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'I'd prefer that you push me... seeing how I'm desperate for any human contact.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Oh, man. The plant cut one.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'That smells worse than James Coco's ski boots.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Moe thinks he's found someone worse off than him (a baby in a carriage) but the mother appears", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Well, at least we're outside instead of sitting at home watching TV.' 'I hear that. Hey, that car has a TV in it.'", "c": ["Homer", "Unknown"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Well, now it's a didgeri-don't.'", "c": ["Granny (TV)"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'A dream deferred is a dream denied.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'That hideous man is a hero.'", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'They're standing up with no one in them.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'What's the gag? Is it full of chiggers?'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Aw, jeez, there's something in my eye. Oh, it's just some glass.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'The Swedish are coming! The Swedish are coming!'", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Look at me, I'm Speedy Alka Seltzer. Whoa!'", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Look at me, I'm Speedy Alka Seltzer. Whoa!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Moe dislocates his arm to entertain Maggie", "c": ["Moe", "Maggie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Raggedy Andy over there has been giving you the button eye.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'You know, it gave me kind of a good, warm feeling... like when you get drunk and fall asleep in snow.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'I was gonna erase those apostrophes and replace them with G's.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Why's she crying? Oh, that's right. I still got her nose. Here you go, you little idiot.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'You calling her repellent?' / 'You ain't Karen Allen yourself, you know?'", "c": ["Moe", "Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Hey, wait. That's supposed to be me.' / 'You could be my father figure.' / 'No way. I'm not getting my fingerprints on that train wreck.'", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'I said pipe down, Amtrak.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Maggie, look what's in your ear. A penny. Okay, we won't tell no one about that.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'No means no for Elmo.'", "c": ["Elmo Doll"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'This must be a takeoff on that Alice in Underpants movie I saw.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Ha. It's nice to be with someone... who can't understand the horrible things I say.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'White rabbit, chicks popping mushrooms? This is like the Playboy Mansion.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'We could scare that movie producer... by putting a horse's blanket in his bed.' / 'Imagine waking up and seeing you got the wrong blanket.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Moe puts orange in his mouth like Vito Corleone and growls at Maggie", "c": ["Moe", "Maggie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'And he shuts the door on Annie Hall.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Yeah, sure he was, Nahasapasa-I'm-Raising-A-Pervert.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "[SINGING] The squirmy wormy spider Squirts out of Daddy's hands Daddy feels rejected He's gonna eat some cake", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Yeah, great present, Selma. Nice of you to break a five.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Ah, get a neck, Frankenstein.'", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'I recorded that for private use.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Yeah, I had to. It's so weird watching the video and not getting any sound.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "You have your own baby monitor in our child's room? Yeah, I had to. It's so weird watching the video and not getting any sound.", "c": ["Marge", "Moe"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Last night at the bar, you called her Raquel.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Is that, uh, \"get out\" like \"leave\"? Or \"get out\" as in, \"Get out, you banged Bridget Fonda?\"'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'You guys mind if I, uh, kiss your tummies?'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "What are you screaming about? Did you discover my snake farm? Because I can explain. I'm going to farm and sell snakes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'I mean, freeze, scumbag. You can't write stuff like that.'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'No. Now that I'm off duty, I'm the world's worst soccer coach. Ha.'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Here's a clue. A discarded orange wedge. Orange wedge? [GROWLING]", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'I'm president of the Italian-American Anti-Defamation League. And this really burns my cannoli.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Gee, ha. This is the second most guns ever pointed at me.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'I ain't cried like this since I paid to see Godfather III.'", "c": ["Mobster"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "'Oh, great. I'm caught in another tree.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 14, "e": 22, "et": "Moe Baby Blues"}, {"t": "Good grief, This candy's terrible. Circus peanuts, raisins, nicotine gum, a library card...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "You got all the good stuff! - And yet and I'm still not satisfied.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "You thieving hussy!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Eat fire! Punks! What the... I'm still cold.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Pathetic humans! They are showing a halloween episode... in November!", "c": ["Kang/Kodos"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Oh, still thinking about halloween. We've already got our christmas decorations up.", "c": ["Kang/Kodos"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "I AM DEATH. - Death? We don't want any.", "c": ["Grim Reaper", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Bart! Run like a wind(pronounced as waind)! - Mom. It's wind.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Well, I only read it in books.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Please don't take me! Take Milhouse! We all know there's no happy ending there.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Does this mean I'll never cancel the Jim Belushi show? - I guess so. - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "If I know I'll tell you, I swear! I'd better call my wife, tell her I'll be late.", "c": ["Frankie the Squealer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "If I knew this would take so long, I'd put on a TV.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Pizza! There's money on the counter. No tip. - Are you miserable bastard? - That's why I'm up there.", "c": ["Pizza Delivery Guy", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "You were a busboy in the restaurant of life. Clearing away the oldies and the sickies and the chokies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "And you made NASCAR racing exciting.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Check it out! I finally found a dead guy's clothes that fits me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "I might occasionally kill out of anger, or to illustrate a point. But I am not a Grim Reaper...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Where's doug? Never mind. I'm death now. I liked doug.", "c": ["Jasper"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "My dad's job takes into all parts of the community. He performs a valuable service. But it's often misunderstood. Like a vulture or the flesh eating maggot.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Pardon me. Coming through. Rest in peace. You're dead. Take a dirt nap. Meet the worms.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Ok. Who am I giving the finger to today?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "This isn't Marge. This is her fat sister. Selma. - It's Patty. Chump!", "c": ["Homer", "Patty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "The Nobel Prize? Finally! So it's for what? My whole deal?", "c": ["Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "If I say no, do I still win?", "c": ["Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "They must've awarded me for my invention of a hammer with a screw driver on the other end. It's convenient.", "c": ["Frink"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "It was a slow year. Yes.", "c": ["Nobel Committee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Mother used to say we get along like positrons and anti-nutrinos. Yeah, I'm geek.", "c": ["Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "he was one of those Heman scientists who work on the atom bomb by day and slept with Marilyn Monroe by night and sold secrets to the Russians at lunch.", "c": ["Frink"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "I get seesick taking a shower! Clean, but nauseous!", "c": ["Young Frink"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "You've disgraced the name of John Nerdelbaum Frink.", "c": ["Frink Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Does shark do that? Yes. He was testing out a new blood-based suntan lotion.", "c": ["Frink", "Nobel Committee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "You know now that I have my hammer-screw-driver, I could reanimate him, without the needless switching of tools.", "c": ["Frink"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Well, that's always tedious. Annoying!", "c": ["Nobel Committee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Now, we had to replace several vital organs with machinery, but that doesn't make you any less of a man. - Except you have no penis.", "c": ["Frink", "Frink Sr."], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "It's a lot like the 20th, except everybody's afraid and the stock market is much lower.", "c": ["Nobel Committee"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Well I did finish first in the walk for the cure, of homosexuality!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Confucious? And Milton Berle? Boy I have been barking up the wrong tree!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Mother always said: 'A curvy spine is the double roller coaster.'", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Comic book guy's ass won't fit in couch. - You may keep my posterior, just please return the Jaba the Butt tattoo.", "c": ["Frink Sr.", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "You know Dr. Herschbach, our jobs are actually not that different. - I disagree.", "c": ["Jennifer Garner", "Dr. Herschbach"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "I'm here to accept the Nobel Prize for stupid.", "c": ["Frink Sr."], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "You all have such big hearts and such big brains with large juicy dripping with knowledge heads!", "c": ["Frink Sr."], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "And I thought Halle Berry went nuts during her acceptance speech.", "c": ["Dr. Herschbach"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Muffins are suprisingly high in calories. The pyramids were actually built by Sears.", "c": ["Frink Sr."], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "This is more violent than the hip-hop worlds.", "c": ["Dr. Herschbach"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "I disagree!", "c": ["Dr. Herschbach"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "I maybe a soul, but I'm hungry. Can you throw in a little mazzard. Maybe a nice pizza pit(?)", "c": ["Frink Sr."], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "That's a good shwandler - Oh, I waited so long to hear you say that. What dose it mean, is it dirty?", "c": ["Frink Sr.", "Frink"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Superman vs Patty Hearst. Evel Knievel jumps the Jackson 5. Batman and Rhoda.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Wow, she looks like a background character in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Do you realize what this means? - Yeah, but you say it first!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Lets get really far ahead on our homework! Wait till the other kids see we're already on the RED unit of Adventures In Reading.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Due to budget cuts, music class will now have a two drink minimum.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Come, let us kill them before learning of the magical secret which they possess!", "c": ["Mob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you say it first.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "I'm gonna play naked basketball. - No, you are not.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Yeah, I thought I'd be happier if my parents back together. But it kind of hollow.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Yeah. And I can't run too fast after 15 years of eating nothing but gummy worms. I'm gonna quit tomorrow, I swear.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Like why is my nose jammed full of army men. Oh, come on! Don't you get it? Bart stopped time with his magic stopwatch.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Jealous much? Why can't I tinker with the fabric of existence?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xiv"}, {"t": "Good grief, This candy's terrible. Circus peanuts, raisins, nicotine gum, a library card...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "You got all the good stuff! - And yet and I'm still not satisfied.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "You thieving hussy!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Eat fire! Punks! What the... I'm still cold.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Pathetic humans! They are showing a halloween episode... in November!", "c": ["Kang/Kodos"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Oh, still thinking about halloween. We've already got our christmas decorations up.", "c": ["Kang/Kodos"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "I AM DEATH. - Death? We don't want any.", "c": ["Death", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Bart! Run like a wind(pronounced as waind)! - Mom. It's wind. Well, I only read it in books.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Please don't take me! Take Milhouse! We all know there's no happy ending there.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Does this mean I'll never cancel the Jim Belushi show? - I guess so. - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "If I know I'll tell you, I swear! I'd better call my wife, tell her I'll be late.", "c": ["Frankie the Squealer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Pizza! There's money on the counter. No tip.", "c": ["Pizza Delivery Guy", "Frankie the Squealer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Check it out! I finally found a dead guy's clothes that fits me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "I might occasionally kill out of anger, or to illustrate a point. But I am not a Grim Reaper...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Where's doug? Never mind. I'm death now. I liked doug.", "c": ["Jasper", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "He performs a valuable service. But it's often misunderstood. Like a vulture or the flesh eating maggot.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Pardon me. Coming through. Rest in peace. You're dead. Take a dirt nap. Meet the worms.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Ok. Who am I giving the finger to today? Marge Simpson... What was that first one again?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Hey. Wait a minute. This isn't Marge. This is her fat sister. Selma. - It's Patty. Chump!", "c": ["Homer", "Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "So it's for what? My whole deal? - This is Professor John Frink, isn't it? - If I say no, do I still win?", "c": ["Frink", "Nobel Committee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "So it's for what? My whole deal? - This is Professor John Frink, isn't it? - If I say no, do I still win?", "c": ["Frink", "Nobel Committee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "They must've awarded me for my invention of a hammer with a screw driver on the other end. It's convenient. - Just for that? - It was a slow year.", "c": ["Frink", "Nobel Committee"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Mother used to say we get along like positrons and anti-nutrinos. - Yeah, I'm geek.", "c": ["Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "he was one of those Heman scientists who work on the atom bomb by day and slept with Marilyn Monroe by night and sold secrets to the Russians at lunch.", "c": ["Frink"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "I get seesick taking a shower! Clean, but nauseous!", "c": ["Young Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Does shark do that? - Yes. He was testing out a new blood-based suntan lotion.", "c": ["Nobel Committee Member", "Frink"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Except you have no penis. - In the traditional sense. - So what am I?", "c": ["Frink", "Frink's Father"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "It's a lot like the 20th, except everybody's afraid and the stock market is much lower.", "c": ["Nobel Committee Member"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Well I did finish first in the walk for the cure, of homosexuality!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Confucious? And Milton Berle? Boy I have been barking up the wrong tree!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Nice posture. - Oh thank you! Mother always said: 'A curvy spine is the double roller coaster.'", "c": ["Frink's Father", "Woman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Lost your spine, ha? You just keep finding new ways to disappoint me.", "c": ["Frink Sr."], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "You may keep my posterior, just please return the Jaba the Butt tattoo.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "You know Dr. Herschbach, our jobs are actually not that different. - I disagree.", "c": ["Jennifer Garner", "Dr. Herschbach"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "I'm here to accept the Nobel Prize for stupid.", "c": ["Frink's Father"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "You all have such big hearts and such big brains with large juicy dripping with knowledge heads!", "c": ["Frink's Father"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "And I thought Halle Berry went nuts during her acceptance speech.", "c": ["Audience Member"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Muffins are suprisingly high in calories. The pyramids were actually built by Sears.", "c": ["Frink's Father"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "This is more violent than the hip-hop worlds.", "c": ["Audience Member"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "I maybe a soul, but I'm hungry. Can you throw in a little mazzard. Maybe a nice pizza pit(?)", "c": ["Frink's Father's Soul"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Cool! Comics from the '70s. Superman vs Patty Hearst. Evel Knievel jumps the Jackson 5. Batman and Rhoda.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Wow, she looks like a background character in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "We can do anything we want! - Lets get really far ahead on our homework!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Due to budget cuts, music class will now have a two drink minimum.", "c": ["School PA"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "mayors... have... been... repeatedly...humiliated. Dammit!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Come, let us kill them before learning of the magical secret which they possess!", "c": ["Mob Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you say it first.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Well, I couldn't be happier, I'm the second coolest kid on earth.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "You know, Milhouse, I thought I'd love eating only frosting and giving the Pope wagging. But I miss being a regular kid in a real world.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "You know, Milhouse, I thought I'd love eating only frosting and giving the Pope wagging. But I miss being a regular kid in a real world.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Boy, that took forever. - Yeah. Well, I work better in a structured environment.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Yeah. And I can't run too fast after 15 years of eating nothing but gummy worms. - I'm gonna quit tomorrow, I swear.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Hum, why is Bart so tall? And shaggy? - Just one of life's mysteries. Like why is my nose jammed full of army men.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Jealous much? Why can't I tinker with the fabric of existence? Let the baby have her bottle.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 2, "et": "My Mother The Carjacker"}, {"t": "Finally, they'll teach our kids the dangers of doubling down on a six.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I really shouldn't be here. I have a problem with games of chance.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I played Candy Land with Maggie and ended up throwing vodka in her face.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Bet? System? Betting system? God is telling me to gamble!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "My fee for this evening goes to victims of my criminal recidivism.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "So relax, have fun and please God don't piss me off.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I got the idea from an episode of Saved by the Bell. It was always on too late for me.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Woo-hoo! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "First thing tomorrow, we're getting a PlayStation One.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Give me most of it in cash and the rest in suitcases to carry the cash.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I'll be bringin' sparkplugs to chuck at people I don't like, like you!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Think I won't manhandle a little boy?", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Look at me! I'm a big man! But I break just like a little girl.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I should've known. The same thing happened on Saved by the Bell.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I'll have that milk now. Easy there. That's whole milk. I'm a private citizen now! I can drink what I like!", "c": ["Martin", "Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "You won't have Martin Prince to kick around anymore!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "We're from Acme Amusement Rental. We're looking for Principal Skinner. Uh. Yes, we all are. Whoo!", "c": ["Rental workers", "Skinner"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I'm not saying I have all the answers, but I do have all the answer keys to every test.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Fractions, dinosaurs, foreign money, the first Thanksgiving.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Real estate license exam. My ticket to freedom!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "What a delicious quiche! I drive a pink Miata!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.31, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Honey, you could be popular. You've just gotta be yourself in a whole new way!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "My name is Nelson. I use a salad fork. La-dee-dah! I wash my face!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.72, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Where did you get that tutu? Clothesline.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "What is she yakkin' about? I rest my case.", "c": ["Student", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Lisa's campaign song about being a bookworm", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Hey, I've got a song, too. I am Iron Man! Vote for me! Ah, screw it.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Wow, she even beat perennial write-in candidate 'Skinner Sucks.'", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "She's captured their imagination like a bright piece of construction paper.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Well, if you ask me, a woman's weakness is her sense of vanity.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "So when's my inauguration? Hmm. Let's see. When hell freezes over, tough guy.", "c": ["Lisa", "Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Lisa's makeover montage song", "c": ["Lisa", "Others"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Like you're the wife of a businessman. I wish I'd married a businessman. Then I'd have nice things.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Is our Frisbee now.", "c": ["Gypsy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.99, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Look at me. I'm Milhouse. I tuck my shirt into me underpants. I've got no friends. So I confide in Willie.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Oh, hello, Lisa. We were just discussing Vasco da Gama.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "And I'll have hypnotherapy when?", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I've got a question. You're crazy.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Move the brush fire hazard needle?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "It's like you're Harry Potter without the magic and wonder.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "That little girl should learn to read things before she signs them.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Boy, she'll believe anything. 'Key release boilerplate'? I find that very hard to believe. Mmm-hmm. And yet there it is.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "You're like Geraldine Ferraro. Except you won where she failed miserably.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I was being sarcastic. You were? No, I was being sincere. Oh, I'm so confused.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "On my chess set, the pawns are all Hamburglars.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Why don't you just give me a sandwich board that says 'male prostitute'?", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Hello, self-esteem! Repo man! Ahhh!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I'll be cooking my Lean Cuisine in your kiln tonight!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I'll be cooking my Lean Cuisine in your kiln tonight!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Lisa is a sellout. Lisa is a sellout.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "They eliminated English for Fat Kids! Okay, you'll do!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "And it wasn't exactly San Diego State to begin with.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "There's Bugs Bunny, Fat Elvis, Autumn in New England, Bats of the Southwest, all heroes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Do you want to see Elvis kiss a bat? Hey, baby, come here. I want to kiss you. No, don't kiss me. You tricked me into betraying my fellow students!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Look at your constitution. It's written on the back of a place mat. And not a good place mat. It's from someplace called 'Doodles.'", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Any student caught striking will be severely disciplined unless all of you do it. Then I'm stymied.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Our budget is stretched tighter than Mother's sauna pants. Seymour! Quit using me in analogies. Yes, Mother.", "c": ["Skinner", "Agnes"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "What about gym? Meh.", "c": ["Lisa", "Students"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Why didn't I cancel Sign Making and Creative Chanting?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Would you be willing to pay an extra $1.23 in taxes to fund them? No way! I'm saving for a speedboat.", "c": ["Chalmers", "Citizen"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "You do? Cool. A blank check for mayhem.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Those Fudruckers!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Remember, boys. These are little kids. So take out your tiny batons.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "You mean, the mayor who kept me waiting for two hours in that restaurant? I ate so much bread...", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Well, I can't take that rattlesnake out of his mailbox now, now can I? Yes, Chief, you could. Well, let me ask you this. Shut up.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Kids who don't get to take music and art are 10% more likely to become chronically unemployed and appear in one of my movies. Where did you get that statistic? Your mother!", "c": ["Michael Moore", "Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Zombie eat brains but zombie cannot swallow this injustice.", "c": ["Theme Park Zombie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Her brother had this to say. Lisa is a nut. She has a rubber butt. Every time she turns around, it goes putt putt.", "c": ["Bart", "Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "All we wanted were hats with a wee light on top. Then one day the mine collapsed. No one made it out alive. Not even Willie!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I don't mean to interrupt your advice from the janitor, but I say cut off the head and the body will die.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Oh, this place is paradise! Well, I guess this story has a happy ending after all. Just like my last massage.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "I'm not driving 45 minutes a day! But this is my dream. Oh, why can't you have a normal dream like being an Olympic figure skater?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Are you crazy? I'm not getting up at 6:30 every morning so you can prance around a frozen pond and think you're better than me. Okay! Over my dead body!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 3, "et": "The President Wore Pearls"}, {"t": "Money is for the poor.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "The automated teller machine-eola-trola-maton.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Oh, Smithers, guide me in. / My pleasure, sir.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Smithers, what's my password? / It's your age, sir. / Excellent.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "What's the smallest amount of money I can think of? A thousand dollars!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Oh! My moolah! It's escaping my clutches!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Feel the drunken wrath of Chuck Shadowski!", "c": ["Chuck Shadowski"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Dad, stop! It's only assault. Don't make it murder!", "c": ["Unknown child"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "You're a good friend, Bart. / The best you'll ever have.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Do you know how much furniture we could rent with this?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Marge, this is why people don't tell you things.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Well, we put up a flyer. Let's see someone claim that money now.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "You know the drill. Try to land on my back-fat.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Whose picture's on it? / It would have to be somebody famous. I'm gonna say, Hitler.", "c": ["Bart", "Unknown claimant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Does the bill have bank teller blood on it? / No, it doesn't. / I'm sorry I wasted your time.", "c": ["Bart", "Unknown claimant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "No one's touching the hors d'oeuvres.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Yeah. But you always wind up kidnapped or on a chain gang.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "I still don't know why you had that photo enlarged.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Look at the cross-hatching on Grover Cleveland's tie. I completely buy the illusion of shadow.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Time's up. Beat it, do-rags.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm charging five bucks to get in. They deserve to see the boy behind the bill.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "You can't whitewash history, Lise.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "A subscription to BARTFORUM Magazine, and Bart will say 'Eat my shorts' on your home answering machine.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "That would be hilarious. That's just me, though. You know, I love to laugh.", "c": ["Unknown patron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Prove it, Bony Curtis.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Had my heart been inside at the time, it could've been fatal.", "c": ["Old man"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "The Hard Rock Cafe in Phoenix has better crap.", "c": ["Museum patron"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Finally, I can get what I've always wanted. A used Toyota.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "I'd like to return to Brazil, but I hear the monkey problem is even worse now.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "I say. Ohhh! Nice.", "c": ["Edwina"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "You have my word as a gentleman and a lady.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Wow! I can't believe we met Mr. Bean!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Every cab has its own butler.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "We saved your ass in Vietnam and shared our prostitutes with Hugh Grant!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "I wouldn't dream of it, sir.", "c": ["British clerk"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Sorry I bothered you.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Can you tell me what happens at the end of the series? / He grows up and marries you. Is that what you want to hear? / Yes.", "c": ["Lisa", "J.K. Rowling"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Now completely free of 'Mad Fish Disease.'", "c": ["British Teen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Fish? I don't know. I'm not really a vegetarian.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "That was over soccer results. Can you believe they gave Giggs a yellow card in the box?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "I understand the word 'gave,' unless it means something else in this country!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Look, teabag, just fork over the brown.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "There's Jimmy Page, one of the greatest thieves of American black music who ever walked the earth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "You can't bet on my kids! This is America, pal!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Sir Ian McKellen! You're my favorite Shakespearean actor.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "You mean Macbeth? / Quiet, you blundering fool! You'll curse us all!", "c": ["Bart", "Ian McKellen"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Mom, you said Macbeth!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "It's bad luck to say that, too!", "c": ["Ian McKellen"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Yes, this trip is entirely uneventful.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Oh, that thing is supposed to be on fire.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Let the guys handle this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Your Majesty? (mimics whipping)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Which means her real name must be... Henrietta R. Hippo!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "What difference could it make? He hit the friggin' Queen!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "I'm a man! / And a very manly one if I may say so, m'Lord.", "c": ["Judge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "If she were 100 years younger and I were 100 years older... Oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "America rules! Our Beatles are way better than your precious Rolling Stones!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Poke the monster with a stick! Tuppence a jab!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "In return, I will spell the word 'color' with a 'U.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't do it! It's so stupid!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Don't buy any videotapes in England! They won't work in our VCR!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Don't worry it. Let the pike do the work.", "c": ["Guard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Goodbye, sparkly elves! / Goodbye!", "c": ["Homer", "Hallucinations"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Boy, a Krispy Kreme would really clean up down here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "who by the way has never had a girlfriend. I'm just saying.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "English women don't pump gas naked. / See you in Atlanta, bitch!", "c": ["Homer", "Madonna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Plus, as the boat pulled away from the dock, I thought you looked fat.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "Well, gotta go! See you in heaven!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "You make Dame Edna look like a dude.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 4, "et": "The Regina Monologues"}, {"t": "I'm glad this holiday only comes every four years.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Twenty on the trifecta?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Her wedding china back?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I could get Marge a new window just like this one!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Even Christian videos with talking vegetables.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Mighty Yamses, we are weary of building your food pyramid. Let my pickles go!", "c": ["Animated vegetables"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Mmm! Moses.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "How dare you challenge my perceptions of what old people can do!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Like I can't shoplift with my mouth.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Oh, look, Jaclyn Smith has her own line of axe heads!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "only imperfect stuff for me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Hey, look. It's 'Hairy Ass' Tubman.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Well, well, if it isn't Fatty and Smell-ma.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Your names can't hurt us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "We got one when we appeared on an episode of The Price is Right, which the network refused to air. Apparently, we're not 'TV pretty.'", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Endorsed by the American Carny Association.", "c": ["Product label"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I never thought I'd say this, but you slags are all right.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I feel like a secretary on Administrative Professionals Day!", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "It is so thoughtful, it makes the kids' gifts look like crap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge, get a room!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Only my hairdresser knows for sure.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Dare I pour caramel over the cotton candy?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "And then finally, I can eat my shorts!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "This is 85 pounds of tooth-melting sugar. Dig in.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "That's it, kids. Suckle daddy's sugar ball.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "His passenger is just a big piece of candy. I wish mine was.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "That's my old lady.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I was saving sugar for my wedding night!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I think you should get rid of her. Then we can be together forever!", "c": ["Sugar Ball/Homer's inner voice"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I'll think of you whenever I have a stroke or a heart attack.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Well, I guess I don't have to worry anymore about the dangers of smoking.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Smooth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "But seeing you like this is more than I can bear.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "The angry president woke up, crawled out of his grave and went back to work.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "It's time for another installment of 'Kent's Cowards.'", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I went to Starbucks. But you didn't see that on tape.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Not with a gun, but with a camera! That's right, Kent. I often get guns and cameras confused. One time, tragically, at a wedding...", "c": ["Grant Connor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "We'd rather have a live sissy mincing around the house than some dead hero any day.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Choke on your candor!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "You can strangle Bart, but you can't strangle your humiliation.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "The only thing my dad's afraid of is paying child support.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "My dad once beat up six employees at KFC. And he'd been up for three days.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "What a delightful practically-based joke.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Oh, God, they're in our food! Teddy Grahams, Gummi Bears!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I'm an intensive Care Bear.", "c": ["Care Bear"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Why does a bear need a crowbar? I don't like to get my hands dirty.", "c": ["Care Bear"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Can I fight human-style by slowly poisoning his environment until he loses his fur and becomes sterile?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "You cowardly Swede!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "But how will I find out what you had for lunch in 1928? I have a web site!", "c": ["Homer", "Grampa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Welcome to my home page. Why don't you visit more often?", "c": ["Grampa's website"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "It's the same technology they use to keep tabs on Gary Busey.", "c": ["Grant Connor"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Finally, science has joined forces with revenge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "weighs more than a Mazda Miata and can tear through a tree like a Jewish mother through self-esteem.", "c": ["Grant Connor"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "And I did it all without wasting money on one of those stupid welder's masks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Available wherever fat men dream.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I know. If I get really scared, I don't want to ruin the suit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "What kind of an example would I be if I didn't take revenge on things?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Lisa, the point of Moby Dick is be yourself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Gentlemen, sometimes a man must put his marriage at risk for reasons that are confusing even to him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "When I grow up, I'm legally changing my name to Joe Kickass!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Howdy, y'all. If you don't like my song, I'll spray you with ink!", "c": ["Lisa as country-western octopus"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Yeah. We borrowed 'em for the radio.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I don't want my last words to him to be, 'Clip your toenails, they look like Fritos.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Yeah. It almost wrecked the whole trip.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "But first, a snack.", "c": ["Grant Connor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Jeez, I don't know why bear hugs enjoy such a great reputation.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Oh, no. The hunter has become the hunter.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Wrong again, liberal media.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Either as hostage or as what we call a 'forest bride.'", "c": ["Grant Connor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "It's so easy to condemn, so hard to create.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "What you said didn't really add much. I know. I just wanted to belong.", "c": ["Hunters"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "I know. I just wanted to belong.", "c": ["Hunter 3"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "Yeah. But now he's being attacked by an elephant!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "You set out to fight an animal, and you ended up saving its life.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 5, "et": "The Fat And The Furriest"}, {"t": "(SINGING) Time to wizz in a foaming bowl of china", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Son, can I have cuts? No! Back cuts? Okay. Sweet. Hey!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Oh, God! It's baby blood!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I tried the coat hanger again. I don't understand why we only try ideas once.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Dr. Hibbert? Is someone seriously ill? Oh, I wish! (LAUGHS)", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Santa's Little Helper paid a bootie call to my purebred poodle, Rosa Barks", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "And he had his eyes on her prize. I'm gonna drop that analogy now.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "You just lost a box, pal!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "on our way to the clinic, I decided to give him a night his wang would never forget", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Wanna play some air hockey? Three hundred and fifty dollars an hour. You're on!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "You broke our deal! We had an oral contract!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "He's an irritable, walleyed, misfit, bastard! Just like Willie.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Hey, mister, would you like a puppy? No. But I'll take one!", "c": ["Bart", "stranger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Seen it... Bad... Boring... Saw it on the plane... Rerun... Rerun... Telemundo... Me... Turned it down... ABC... Banned from the set... Lame... Lame... Regis...", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Let's see, champagne or Slim Fast?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "DSL! DSL! Who will buy my high-speed connections?", "c": ["street vendor"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Brazilian wax! Get your velvety smooth, Brazilian wax!", "c": ["street vendor"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Here, go on Sandy Koufax. I lost ten grand when he wouldn't pitch on Yom Kippur! I did five shows that night!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Why ain't I here? I'm a bigger name than... Chaim Potok! What is he? Some kind of Klingon?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Circumcision? And then some! (CHUCKLES)", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Do you know how much I donate to the B'nai B'rith? Actually, I do. Goodbye.", "c": ["Krusty", "Rabbi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Oh, I was turned down by all those country clubs for nothing!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I thought I was a self-hating Jew! But it turns out, I'm just a plain old anti-Semite!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.7, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Without a Bar Mitzvah, I'm just a boy with a prostate the size of a goat's head!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I remember learning to ride a bike, then pretty much nothing till right now.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Maybe I am but you can't argue with the laughs.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "So what? It's not my job to make kids laugh. Yes, it is. You're a clown.", "c": ["Rabbi", "Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "That'd be great. Are you sure that's kosher?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I have a Jewish imaginary friend. Her name is Rachel Cohen and she just got into Brandeis.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Mouse-l Tov!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "He's a son, a lover and a pundit rolled into one sexy package!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Such expensive flowers, filled with remorse.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Man, are you unpleasant! You're in!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Welcome to The Homer Simpson Show. I'm your host, next card. Homer Simpson", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Carl Carlson, raconteur, and Lenny Leonard, three-time juror", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "You ever notice how seats are too small for normal looking guys like me? Theaters, airplanes? Why even here! Look!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Never go on the teacup ride after eating at Beauty and the Beast's Fried Dough Chateau.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "How about some new oldies, geniuses?", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Who has more power? Miss America or Miss USA? I think one's elected and the other one's appointed.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Go home, turn on your television, Channel Six. Thanks for the tip!", "c": ["Homer", "prostitute"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I think one's elected and the other one's appointed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "All these rules! I feel like I'm in a strip club!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "All these rules! I feel like I'm in a strip club!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I was wondering if I could get a small cost of living raise? Interesting. Please welcome new panelist, Barney Gumble.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "That light's a little bright. You think you can move it? Please welcome our newest panelist, Disco Stu.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Disco Stu knows his place.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "My husband's a power-mad star. Maybe now we can get that padding that goes under rugs.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "You're not doing this fast enough! You're fired, too!", "c": ["Executive", "Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I eat Legos. So did I, son. And look where I am today.", "c": ["Child", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I eat Legos. So did I, son. And look where I am today.", "c": ["kid", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Duck, Mister Lincoln!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I say live fast, die young, and leave a big fat corpse!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "How about a show where girls think I'm a millionaire? But what they don't know is I'm rife with disease!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Please, you people are known for taking chances on crap.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "'Boobs.' (LAUGHS) Just like what girls got.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Yet the IMF insists on unrealistic debt repayment schedules.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "This show stinks! I knew my son would blow it! Where's the remote? Oh, it might as well be in China.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "T, I haven't seen you since we roasted Chevy Chase! Yeah. We were kind of rough on him. I feel bad for the guy. You pitied the fool? That's one way of putting it.", "c": ["Krusty", "Mr. T"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Baruch adonai hamvorach, fool!", "c": ["Mr. T"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "So that's why Bart has all those broken tracheal bones. Tight bow tie, my ass!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "That's a lot of latke!", "c": ["announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Marge, I thank God every day you settled for me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Marge, I thank God every day you settled for me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I pity the shul that won't let Krusty in now!", "c": ["Mr. T"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I wish I had invested my money better.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Krusty, the ratings were good. Raymond re-run good.", "c": ["Network executive"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I'm hungry. Are they married yet? They're not getting married. Then whose garter is this?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I pity the fool who didn't bring an envelope to this Bar Mitzvah.", "c": ["Mr. T"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "I pity the fool who didn't bring an envelope to this Bar Mitzvah.", "c": ["Mr. T"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 6, "et": "Today I Am A Clown"}, {"t": "Kent Brockman, who's contractually permitted to replace himself with a cardboard cutout. The real Kent is in a rehab clinic. We all wish him the best... Again.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "See ya in spring, toes.", "c": ["Character putting on winter boots"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Apparently working in Hawaii was a pleasure.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Oh, Carl, you remembered I like TV.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "May the spirit of Retsyn be with you all year long. God bless God. Amen.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Homer, you're the most selfish man I know. Oh, come on. Mister Burns is way more selfish.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "That evil old bone bag smelling of death, nose like a vulture, followed everywhere by that kiss-ass Smithers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Yes. That describes Kathy in Personnel to a tee.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "It's time for your Christmas 'bon-i.' Everyone gets a five-dollar cafeteria voucher.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Joe DiMaggio? Yes. It seems they've started letting ethnics into the big leagues.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. But I'm afraid your card is only worth everything I've got! Everything! Take it!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I've smudged it with nacho fingers. I must deftly lick it off. Deftly...", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Oh, pruny night / The stars are sweetly wrinkled", "c": ["California Prunes"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "This is offensive to Christians and prunes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Let's shop till we droop. I think that's 'drop.' That's a very violent image, Lisa.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "then we'll spend the rest of the cash on a Christmas tree so large, its absence from the forest will cause mudslides and flooding!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Awesome! I'm blasting all the state capitals! Oh, take that, Salem, Oregon! Wait a minute. This game is educational! That'll teach you to teach me!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Oh, God! It's so unnecessary!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I'm upside-down so much!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Today is the birthday of comedienne Margaret Cho. That's the birthday I'm always forgetting! I must have it!", "c": ["Astrolabe", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Now, everyone just relax, lock your doors, don't make eye contact with anyone, and listen to the radio.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Three kings put the hammer down / Cause we got a Christmas convoy, ain't she a beautiful thing? / 10-4, King of the Jews", "c": ["Radio Trucker Song"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Why do things I love always burn?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Woo-hoo! Maggie's talking!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "There's a trickledown theory here. If I'm happy, I'm less abusive to the rest of you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I am not returnable.", "c": ["Astrolabe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "This is sadder than Tuesdays with Morrie.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "You have to get your hair done at Supercuts. I guess regular cuts just isn't good enough for you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "That's not true! I cared what you thought once you found out!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I'm gonna parcel my anger out over the next few days and weeks, jabbing at you just when you seem the most content.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Colombia's main export is coffee. Exactly.", "c": ["Astrolabe", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I can't find my way back to the home. I heard you the first five times!", "c": ["Mr. McGrew", "Someone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Sir, I'm over here. Woo-hoo. Sorry, pardon me, ma'am. I see you're expecting. May I listen to the baby's heartbeat?", "c": ["Cratchit", "McGrew"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Oh, McGrew. Once again you've mistaken something for something.", "c": ["TV Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! It's like looking at a cartoon version of myself!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Come on, Death. Leave McGrew alone. Take Tiny Tim!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "'Unloved by Al?' No! 'Unloved by all?' No!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Yeah. TV writers have been milking that goat for years.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Reform, Ebenezer Urkel! You have alienated everyone who loved you! Did I do that?", "c": ["TV Parody"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "It's no use, Captain. He's showin' visions of me future. God, I'm so fat! I said fire!", "c": ["Star Trek Parody"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Yes. But this time I'm sober-ish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "These pants smell worse than my old pants. You're welcome.", "c": ["Hobo", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "A photo cube with pictures of us! And I filed down all the sharp corners. See? Your eye is completely safe! Oh, wow, it just stings a little.", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Oh, your thoughtfulness tastes so good. And tears are the sweetest sauce.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "All right, now you're starting to creep me out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I'm just buying that stairway to heaven Jesus sang of. That was Led Zeppelin. Get back to your bong, hippie.", "c": ["Ned", "Reverend"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I'm jealous of girls because they get to wear dresses. One problem at a time, boy.", "c": ["Todd", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Being unselfish is a natural high like hiking or paint thinner.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "And here's another act of Christian charity I pulled out of my butt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Here's your skates. Oh, you'll have to take off those boots. Those are my feet. Eew!", "c": ["Homer", "Hobo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Santa Claus is dead. Or he might as well be because there's an even fatter man who's holding families at nice-point.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "That Homer just burns my waffles. Pain is the cleanser! Pain is the cleanser!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I know that can be a dickens of a doozie!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I said 'man,' not 'man-God'! Keep your pants on!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "What's your angle, pervert?", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "You just tweezered my wang!", "c": ["Krusty's Voice (Operation Game)"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "People would be a lot happier without presents.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I'm not going to jail again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "You're a hero, Homer J / You're as crafty as a skunk / They'll thank you in the morning for stealing Flanders' junk", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Man, so this is how it feels. I'd better see my shrink and rob his ass!", "c": ["Criminal"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Do you think it was Papa? I wouldn't put it past him. He stole my gold tooth the night he left.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "He didn't leave. He went to the store. And when he comes back, I'll wave those Pop Tarts right in your face!", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Your behavior, it's like not sanctioned by any governing body. You're like wild.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "That's my last flare. Somebody better come soon. Oh, thank goodness. Rescue dogs. (GROWLING)", "c": ["Person on mountain"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Let's just say that on this day a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic. But others don't. And that's cool. But we're probably right.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Oh, joy! Let's see what we got here. It's a new brassiere! But I don't even have them, but okay. I'll make pretend.", "c": ["Elderly man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "I ain't got all day, Drama Queen. Get it over with. I will! And then you'll all wish you was nicer to me! Who am I kidding? I ain't gonna jump.", "c": ["Moe", "Crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "Today is the birthday of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and singer Barbara Mandrell.", "c": ["Astrolabe"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 7, "et": "Tis The Fifteenth Season"}, {"t": "D'oh! (SCREAMING) (BRAKES SCREECHING)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Oh, crikey! She's got me by the dangle-down!", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm watching that! / Not anymore.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "We'll also show you how to turn a shoebox into a you-box.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 4.9, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Oh, I missed the feeding frenzy. I hope you're happy. / Obviously, yes.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Bobby, I got propane in my urethra. / We'll be right back with Who Will Marry a Million Bears!", "c": ["TV Characters"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Mom, that's Roofi. His music is why babies are idiots.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Well, Maggie likes Roofi. And babies only like good things.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "(IN PIG LATIN) Ap-cray. Ap-cray.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "it's on batteries. / Backed up by solar power.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Look, Maggie. Funny Daddy! (GROANING)", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "You don't understand. I can't go home. You got to give me detention. Look! I fed the gerbil coffee!", "c": ["Bart", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Please, make me write something on the chalkboard a thousand times! / We all got tired of that chalkboard years ago.", "c": ["Bart", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Her eyes aren't focused. / it makes her happy. / So does sucking on the dog.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "If you don't come, Roofi will be sad. And the helpful bear, she will die!", "c": ["Roofi"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Give Daddy the remote, Maggie. Give Daddy the... D'oh! / Oh, wise guy, eh?", "c": ["Homer", "Maggie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "I got them fair and square and I kept my dignity, not like Janie's mom. (nose twisting noise) / Whatever.", "c": ["Marge", "Other Mom"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "This concert is oversold. It's as if a music promoter acted unscrupulously.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "And now, our opening act, in their first live show since Tinky Winky was acquitted of manslaughter. / Not guilty!", "c": ["Announcer", "Tinky Winky"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "They make The Blue Man Group look like Mummenschanz, which is still pretty good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Oh, no! It's raining! And Maggie's diapers are extra absorbent.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "You kidding me? Did you make funny faces? You did? Well, did you jiggle your keys? I did it all, man!", "c": ["Roofi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Ow! Okay, who threw that? Who threw it?", "c": ["Roofi"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Tyler, is there a peaceful solution possible? (TYLER COOING)", "c": ["Reporter", "Tyler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Five, six, so long, hicks!", "c": ["Roofi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "I don't feel right clubbing women and children, chief. / I hear ya. Some days are tougher than others. Just close your eyes and club.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "This is it, boys. We'll have to tummy-kiss our way out. (BLOWING TUMMY KISSES)", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "I ain't fungified hidee-hoo about no legrification noways, then scratched his rear, hitched up his pants, and scratched his rear again.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Kabul refuses to be our sister city anymore. I have no sister city!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "My loose change!", "c": ["Man in crowd"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Singles Seniors Childless Couples and Teens and Gays against Parasitic Parents. / Catchy name.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle", "Audience member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Save your breath for blowing up water wings, breeder.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "I dream of an America with nudity and F-words on network TV! Where the whole world doesn't stop because a school bus did.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "We never would've had these kids if we thought we had to pay for them! Promises were made! / Tough tortellini!", "c": ["Parent", "Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "I'm sick of printing a children's menu! Let Mickey Meatball find his own way out of the maze!", "c": ["Restaurant owner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Then how would we ever get to see Camelot? / We'll merely watch the movie on tape! / Is that better? / To me, Ralph Wiggum is Sir Lancelot.", "c": ["Parent", "Lindsay Naegle", "Another parent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, let's kill every child... ...friendly thing in town!", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "(SQUEAKY VOICE) it's time to put away childish things (DEEP VOICE) and become a man!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "From now on, children acting up in public places will be lightly tased. / Mommy, pick me up. (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) / I wasn't kidding.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Child", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "And I wouldn't trade her for all the sleep-in Sundays and speed dating in the world.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Well, Lisa, I would be proud if one of the eggs I sold turned out like you.", "c": ["Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Also Maggie puked in your purse again. / Poor me. All my purse is full of is disposable income.", "c": ["Lisa", "Lindsay Naegle"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Mom, can we get a pretzel? / We've got pretzels at home. / Not cinnamon.", "c": ["Child", "Mother", "Child"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "PPASSCCATAG is also a disease of the brainstem. That's how I'll remember it.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "The only petitions that I sign are to bring back canceled sitcoms. Thank you. America needs the wisdom of Herman's Head now more than ever.", "c": ["Passerby"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Now we own you! / But I haven't endorsed it yet! / Football injury.", "c": ["Tobacco Lobbyist", "Marge", "Tobacco Lobbyist"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Yes. Particularly their supple young organs.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Oh, unfenced backyard pools, where would I be without you?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "(IMITATING MARGE) I'm Marge Simpson, and even I'm against 'Families Come First.' Now it's time to do some coke off the blade of a knife.", "c": ["Fake Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Now it's time to do some coke off the blade of a knife.", "c": ["Fake Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Maybe she was you and you're not!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "And when you can't finish a sandwich, I eat that sandwich.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "I'll come down on those guys like the garage door on Bart's bike!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "But newspaper writers are a bunch of jerks. Who really opposes 'Families Come First?' Many childless advocates are like Ben Affleck. Famous, successful people from out of state!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Many childless advocates are like Ben Affleck. Famous, successful people from out of state!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "For more information, visit our Web site, www.al-jazeera.com. We're not affiliated. We're just piggy-backing on their message board.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "It says, 'Yes on 232.' We want no on 232! Yes on 242! Either way. The important thing is the system works.", "c": ["Homer", "Campaign worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm the visionary. You come up with the nuts and bolts. / You don't even know what the idea is. / I know you have an ugly face.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "You don't even know what the idea is. I know you have an ugly face.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "I love you. / I love glue! / I love you! / Aw! Such a sweet little thing. Time to destroy your future.", "c": ["Child", "Another child", "First child", "Adult voter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "I love you. I love glue! I love you!", "c": ["Random Child"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Feeling flu-ish, fever, nausea, child germs. No. Must participate in democratic process.", "c": ["Voter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "For all their disposable income, for all their leisure time, they had no immunity against God's lowliest creatures, children.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "Great. Let's dump these kids in an R-rated movie while we go someplace nice. / Can I bring my laser pointer? / What do I care?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 8, "et": "Marge Vs Singles Seniors Childless Coupl"}, {"t": "D'oh! (SCREAMING) (BRAKES SCREECHING)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Bart, that creepy kid is here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "That's me. (READING) Oh!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "it sounds like a motorcycle gang. And we don't have backup! We'd better lay low. But Chief, what if they like pizza? Way ahead of you, Lou.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "That is one bitchin' bike. Daddy said a cuss word! Lighten up, Roddy.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Rod Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Thanks for the tassels. My mom can wear these on her boobs at work.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "A ten-speed bike? What did your mother say? She said, 'Yes.' MARGE: I said no! I'm confused. Which is it? MARGE: it's no! His old bike is fine. Yeah, the kitchen lady's right.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "I see. So if my old bike didn't work, I would automatically get a new one? That's right. No questions asked. (LAUGHS)", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Boy, I'm really gonna miss you. We've really had some great... Ooh! A Mercedes!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "What the Halle Berry?", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "This was a wakeup call. From now on, I'll keep my eyes on the road and off my Kool & the Gang air freshener. Celebration's over, boys.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "It's called 'Cat Math.' 'Four paws, plus one tail,' 'plus nine lives equals one special cat.' 'One special cat minus nine lives equals one sad little girl.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Oh, Cinnamon! It should've been me who chewed through that extension cord!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Here we go. Now it starts with the fees.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "I can make a bike. I made you. Yeah, great workmanship. Hey, that's gonna win you a lot of bar bets someday.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Man, this is so confusing. What the hell is this?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "I'm riding a unicycle with my pants down. This should be every boy's dream. Ha-ha! Your dad's not handy.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Son, are you okay? I brought a homemade first aid kit! It's spring-loaded for quick access. (SCREAMING)", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "'And you won't be teed off when you come in' 'because our steaks are cooked to par-fection.' 'Our leader bar is filled with scrumptious...' Two more pages? I'm not reading this.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "But you're good at other things like eating while driving! That's something! And nobody gets madder at the news!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "It's written by a Rabbi, who surfs!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Too fluffy, too Siamese, too needy, too stuck up. Infected eye, clearly a skunk.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "There's nothing worse than the look on a boy's face when he says, 'Dad, I don't think you can build a fully functional robot.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "If you can't build a robot, be a robot. That's it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "KRUSTY CLOCK: It's Tuesday, the first. If you live in Krusty Brand low-income housing, your rent is due!", "c": ["Krusty Clock"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "'Dear Bart, if this robot doesn't prove I love you,' 'then you can both go to hell.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Oh, the beer's gone. I'll have to suck it out of the shag.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "You plop the cat food down, You toss the tin can out, You drop the worm pills in, And you stir it all about, You add a lot of lovin' and you serve it to your cat, That's what it's all...", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "You're a Buddhist. So you know your cats are now reincarnated as a higher form of life. Like a dog or a snowman.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Are you here with your children, sir? Yeah, my two kids, Screw and You.", "c": ["Security", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "He's killing him softly with his saw. Killing him softly? With his saw.", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "You got to name me. You should be glad I did. Your father wanted to call you 'Bartzina.'", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "'Coltrane, you were with us only briefly' 'but we will always have the ride home from the shelter.' And, um, I guess that's it. Amen.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "And Lord, if you think I'm making lemon bars for your bake sale Sunday, you better stop killing our cats. Mom, I'm not sure God responds to threats and intimidation. It's the only way to talk to bullies.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "It's the only way to talk to bullies.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "In my day, mechanical men had funnel heads and showed respect! Then it all changed when they got the vote and started tinkering with our memories.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "There he sits with a pen and a yellow pad, What a handsome lad That's my boy, B-R-L-F-Q spells mom and dad, Well, that ain't too bad 'Cause that's my boy", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Well, I've been busy, Son. They really need me over at the nuclear 'plank.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Smashius Clay, AKA Killhammad Aieee!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "There are many people I'd like to thank for this award. My wife Anjelica Houston. This is for you, Angie. We did it! ROBOT: Speeches cannot be longer than 30 seconds. (SCREAMS)", "c": ["Bart", "Robot"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "I just installed a chip that makes it 10% more bloodthirsty.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Hey, hey! These cats'd rather take their chances in the back room than go home with you.", "c": ["Crazy Cat Lady"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "That's what we in the business call a 'biggie.' Business? What business? The business of being a dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "I'm much happier petting this leaf.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Look, you don't want to get involved with a girl like me. My cats have a nasty habit of waking up dead. Now go. Cough me out of your life like a bad fur ball.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "That's really a cheat, isn't it? I guess you're right, Principal Tamzarian.", "c": ["Lisa", "Skinner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "That moan sounded almost human. HOMER: The hell it did.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Even though you're the sole provider for a family of five!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "That robot has given birth to a man!", "c": ["Audience Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "That robot has given birth to a man!", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "He knows just how I like my martinis. Full of alcohol.", "c": ["Frink", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Bart, all that button ever did was send a mild electric shock up my backside. Why did you make it do that? To keep me focused.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Show me where in the rulebook it says that a human can't be a robot. Right here. Rule One.", "c": ["Homer", "Official"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "Well, you did disappear a lot but I've gone whole summers without seeing you. (LAUGHS) Yeah. I'm pretty unreliable.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 9, "et": "I Annoyed Grunt Bot"}, {"t": "d-ohh! (Screams)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Let's see. I'll have 16 gravy scrape 'ems, a bucket of twisty lard, and two super-choker breakfast burritos with macho sauce.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "I could also deep-fry the bag.", "c": ["Squeaky-voiced teen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Great. And I'll have a diet coke-- deep-fried.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "need more lap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "I'll have to steer by the reflection in my watch!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Why don't I just pull over?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "can't stop! Krusty collectible toy jammed under brake pedal!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "intruder detected. Calling local police. (busy signal) line busy. Shutting down.", "c": ["Security system"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "We're well-protected against every threat, from bomb-toting bolsheviks to golden-armed jazzbos.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I hit the grief counselor!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Promise... me... you'll report this.", "c": ["Grief counselor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Consider yourself fired!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "I had a car!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "I'm gonna taunt the phd'S.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Hey, guys, I heard an assistant professorship just opened up. Oh! Where? Ooh! At the university of... psyche!", "c": ["Bart", "PhD students"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "When it happens in a book, it's romantic. But, when willie tries to kiss ya, you're all pepper spray and fingernails.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Marge simpson, longtime reader, first-time stander-upper.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Just a class at the 'y'-- yale university.", "c": ["Esme Delacroix"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "If I write a book, will they tell me when it comes out?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "I'll steal this sign, and they'll pay me to make them a new one!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "We'll clean out those stupid americans.", "c": ["Car salesmen"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Did that salesman cut one during the test drive? Yeah. And, for some reason, he turned on the radio to cover up the smell.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "I bet a lot of hippies were denied care in this thing. Injuhippies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Buy me! Buy me! Buy me!", "c": ["Ambulance siren"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "You work at the nuclear plant. Get with the program, marge. Your husband is now an ambulance driver.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Maybe on planet zoozoo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Hey, I think it's cool. I can defibrillate lisa! Not if I pump your heart full of morphine first!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Those aren't your toys. They're to keep daddy asleep and awake.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Homer, you left two jobs and bought an ambulance without even a phone call. I also fed some ducklings. I know. I got your message.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "I'm writing a novel! Whatever. But I think you look great already.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "A novel about whaling. That's something you haven't seen before.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "'Swim, swim, swim,' thought the whale, flapping his... floppers.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Mayor quimby, disco stu, and our fighting men and women overseas. Well, I finished the 'thank yous.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Temperance barrows stared at the sea like a dog stares at a ham.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "For the third time, the hospital. You're an ambulance, not a taxi!", "c": ["Patient", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Why don't you just admit you don't know where the hospital is. Why don't you admit I know it's around here somewhere!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "For temperance, the days passed on... as did seven of her ten children.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "This family has not seen whale meat for a onemonth.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "tobacco.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Ooh, it has colored my teeth a healthy brown.", "c": ["Marge/Temperance"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "We're not paramedics! I'll say.", "c": ["Patient", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Temperance had to face the unhappy truth she had married a brute. Hey, baby. I've returned from portsmouth. Now let me put my tongue down yourmouth.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "a seagull? The whales weren't biting, okay?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "This story is as dark as those new milky way bars. Ooh, that's a good analogy. I'll work it in somewhere.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "If so, then I guess I'm just a cave man. If they existed, which they didn'T.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Nantucket is an island? What do you know? It is!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Hey, baby, I know we work together, but I think you're hot.", "c": ["Marge/Drunk husband"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "prithee, tell me thou art not a sodomite. Nope, not even a gomorrahian.", "c": ["Marge/Temperance", "Marge/Cyrus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "I've got an overpowering urge to see you... with your hat off.", "c": ["Marge/Cyrus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Pretty much. We wrote our own vows.", "c": ["Marge/Temperance"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "and to think my mother had one of those.", "c": ["Marge/Cyrus"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "And it's so suggestive. But like they say, 'snuggling sells.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Let's kiss boys. Binge and purge. Rock and roll! You're not gettin' out till we're 16!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Captain mordecai stared at the shop window full of powdered blowholes. 'Mmm, blowholes,' he drooled.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "here in my car  I am hosing off blood some of it's mine but most of it's not", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "It's double-spaced. Whoo-hoo, I'm halfway through!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Does anyone ever get 'tracted?' Let me call the suicide hot line and ask them.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "No! They were all, in their own way, totally awesome.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "They were all, in their own way, totally awesome.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "As I've always said: 'Publish or perish'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Now for that happy period between the lie and the time it's found out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Thomas pynchon loved this book! Almost as much as he loves cameras.", "c": ["Publisher"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Hell no I wouldn't ! What do you mean I just said it? That doesn't count!", "c": ["Tom Clancy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "What if they parody it on mad tv? We're doomed.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Dr. Marvin monroe?! I haven't seen you in years. Oh, I've been very sick.", "c": ["Marge", "Dr. Monroe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "and on page 72, temperance's name changes to marge for three paragraphs.", "c": ["Dr. Monroe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "And could you space out the meat so that it spells 'happy birthday, moe'?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Oh, mr. Homer, anything for a cuckolded boob... I mean, uh, loyal customer.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Well, then, maybe I will! If you do, you'll see she lusts for flanders.", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "I swore never to read again after to kill a mockingbird gave me no useful advice on killing mockingbirds.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "It did teach me not to judge a man based on the color of his skin, but what good does that do me?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "As read by mary-kate and ashley olsen? Take it, ashley. Bummer. I didn't knowpeople were sad in the past.", "c": ["Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "You told me you liked it! You didn't rit at all! You lied to me! I didn't lie. I was writing fict with my mouth.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Well, I'll make sure you never imagine anything again!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "What are you doing here? Stealing doormats.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "You wouldn't kill the father of your next child, would you? Oops.", "c": ["Marge/Cyrus"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "now that your boyfriend's dead, I'm free to be selfish, drunk, emotionally distant, sexually ungenerous, pissy...", "c": ["Marge/Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "flanders, pull over! I'm an ambulance! Well, he's got me there.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Dear lord, please make homer's blows precise and deadly with a minimum of pain. Oh, and forgive me for those impure thoughts I had about the girl on the raisin box.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Just call me ann flanders!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Why would I rub her back unless I wanted to get some... oh, to make her feel good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "The end of your book was the wake-up call I needed after falling asleep at the beginning of your book.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "Lee harvey oswald wanted to steal the jack ruby. Jack ruby was a man, not a jewel.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "all right, we're back to square one. Put on some coffee. I was so close.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 10, "et": "Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife"}, {"t": "D-ohh! (Screams)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Books? Books are for squares. We're now a multimedia learning center for children of all ages... but mostly bums.", "c": ["Library employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Visual gag: All the bums sleeping in the library", "c": ["Bums"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Books titled 'Everybody Poops The Video' and 'Yu-Gi-Oh! Price Guides'", "c": ["N/A"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I have to score at least a pumpkin sticker or better on it", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I'm hen-e-ry viii, I am hen-e-ry viii, I am, I am / I've been eating since 6:00 A.M. / For dessert I'll have dinner again / my name's synonymous with gluttony / I'll always eat a turkey or a ham...", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I've been eating since 6:00 A.M. For dessert I'll have dinner again my name's synonymous with gluttony", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "stop singing that song! We all know who you are.", "c": ["Marge as Catherine of Aragon"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Her majesty, margarine of aragon!", "c": ["Court announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I just planted my seed in your womanly dirt.", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Your majesty, I know you want a son, but must we discuss my womb in front of the entire court?", "c": ["Marge as Catherine"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "as royal physician, it is my learned opinion that her womb is filled with sea serpents.", "c": ["Dr. Nick as royal physician"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Could a girl belch like this? (Huge belch)", "c": ["Lisa as Princess Elizabeth"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Too much jerkin' your merkin?", "c": ["Bart as court jester"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Get out of my dreams and into my wife!", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I could have married the king of france. He wasn't so preoccupied with procreation. Ting-a-ling-a-ling. Know what I mean?", "c": ["Marge as Catherine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Modern wench magazine dubbed me 'anne of the child-bearing hips.'", "c": ["Selma as Anne Boleyn"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "My son could cartwheel out!", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Your majesty, your feelings are valid, but I'm afraid marriage takes a lot of hard work. (Snaps fingers) and who needs that?", "c": ["Lenny as marriage counselor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I say trade in that lemon and get biz-zay. Whoo-hoo!", "c": ["Lenny as marriage counselor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Sire, there's no such thing in the cath-diddly-atholic church.", "c": ["Ned as Thomas More"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Where divorce will be so easy, more than half of marriages will end in it.", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "And I think a celibate italian weirdo knows a lot more about marriage than you.", "c": ["Ned as Thomas More"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "And because you stuck to your principles, I'm going to canonize you. I can see my house...", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII", "Ned as Thomas More"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "It's not your fault. It's just that you came out the wrong sex and ruined everything. So grow a penis or get lost.", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Well, why can't your heir be female? Or-or why can't we elect our leaders? I wonder if I could canonize a child.", "c": ["Lisa as Princess Elizabeth", "Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Hey, I invented divorce. How did you get half of everything? You should have invented the pre-nup.", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII", "Marge as Catherine"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I get Ireland?! (Laughing)", "c": ["Marge as Catherine"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "And by the power vested in me by you just now, I pronounce you king and trophy queen. In the name of the henry, the hank and the holy harry. Amen.", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "your head lives for five seconds afterwards, so I left a magazine in the basket.", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Oh, my horoscope! 'Today will bring welcome new changes into your life.' Wrong!", "c": ["Anne Boleyn/Selma"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Sir scratchy, I accuse you of conducting a catholic mass! Lord itchy, I accuse you of not signing the act of succession!", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Do you, jane seymour, take this king to be your lawfully wedded husband till your first little spat? Oh, I do! I double do! Henry is the ginchiest!", "c": ["Jane Seymour", "Minister"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "(Laughing) It's funny 'cause you're king.", "c": ["Patty as Jane Seymour"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I told you I was a dude. You didn't dump me, I dumped you!", "c": ["Jane Seymour as dying"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "My track record! I've had ten sons. Now take a ride on the king-maker!", "c": ["Old woman as potential wife"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I'm 95! You could use a butter knife, for god's sake!", "c": ["Old woman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "well, we're running out of pikes to stick your wives' heads onto. I'll show you running out of pikes! Hey, what do you know? You were right.", "c": ["Messenger", "Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "My whole life I was looking for that one woman whose execution could bring me happiness. Now I realize I was just beheading myself for divorcing you.", "c": ["Homer as Henry VIII"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "see ya in hell, fat man!", "c": ["Marge as Catherine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "England's power was never greater, and british actresses always had a role to play when they got to a certain age.", "c": ["Marge as narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "And I just came in here to trip nerds for nothin'. Ha-ha!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "In elementary school, we girls learned about Sacagawea while the boys were learning math.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "and some embedded journalists", "c": ["Marge as narrator"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Long have we awaited the coming of the white man... and carl.", "c": ["Native American chief"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Thanks, and welcome to the united states of america. Have a flag. And while you're at it, cover your nakedness and worship our lord.", "c": ["Lenny as Lewis/Clark"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "In our language, her name means 'little know-it-all who won't shut her maize hole.'", "c": ["Chief"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "(French accent): I will come with you-- because by myself, ze darkness, she scares me.", "c": ["Milhouse as Charbonneau"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I don't know why I ever sold you to him.", "c": ["Chief"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I'll tell you what's poisonous-- your attitude.", "c": ["Carl as Clark"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "But at least people will always remember the expedition of lewis and clark and tweedleburger.", "c": ["Dying explorer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "And they said you couldn't open a bar in kansas. Well, nothing can crush the frontier spirit. That'll do it.", "c": ["Moe as bartender"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Well, nothing can crush the frontier spirit. (Building collapses) That'll do it.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "We got the job because we own a compass. Turns out the needle was just painted on.", "c": ["Lenny/Carl as Lewis/Clark"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Can't we at least have one pity scalp?", "c": ["Native American warrior"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "For the last time, (slowly): Those are salmon!", "c": ["Lisa as Sacagawea"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "You know, you could be a little more grateful to us for civilizing you.", "c": ["Carl as Clark"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Oh, warm, wooly rock, you're my only friend.", "c": ["Lisa as Sacagawea"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Of course we did. We'll never forget you, Pocahontas. Sacagawea! Gesundheit.", "c": ["Lenny as Lewis", "Lisa as Sacagawea", "Carl as Clark"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I say we give this lovely land a name worthy of its beauty: Eugene, oregon!", "c": ["Lenny as Lewis"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "You can trade it in at the bank for a real dollar!", "c": ["Modern official"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "hello, vienna! Are there any aficionados in the house?", "c": ["Bart as Mozart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Oh, little salieri, why don't you go play with the other three untalented members of our family-- tito, randy and jermaine?", "c": ["Homer as Mozart's father"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "oh, lord, why did you give such transcendent talent to such an undeserving fool? Because you are ug-ly!", "c": ["Lisa as Salieri", "Bart as Mozart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I want to see you all next week at my concert in... Krakow! (Laughter)", "c": ["Bart as Mozart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "wow, it's sold out-- mincing room only!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "beans, oh, beans, delicious in your mouth / but watch out when beans come out down south / tooting, some call it pooting / it's air polluting, the gas comes shooting / right from your butt, butt, butt / butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, buttttt...", "c": ["Bart as Mozart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Guten tag, everybody! Guten tag, dr. Nick.", "c": ["Dr. Nick", "Crowd"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "I can tell from here you have too much blood. Let's get you covered in leeches!", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Now in the morning, you'll be good as new... or dead! But the important thing is, we'll know.", "c": ["Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "But now that I'm dying young... I'll be cool forever! eat my pantaloons!", "c": ["Bart as Mozart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "(To tune of fifth symphony): Haw haw haw haw... haw haw haw haw", "c": ["Nelson as Beethoven"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.33, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "All I know is, the guy who played mozart was also in animal house. Now there's a movie with good music. Animal house, house, house... nobody ever went to class / then we saw donald sutherland's ass", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "Animal House, house, house... nobody ever went to class, then we saw Donald Sutherland's ass...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 11, "et": "Margical History Tour"}, {"t": "D'oh! (screams)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "My mom got too fat to work at Hooters! They won't even let her park cars.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "(tires screeching)", "c": ["Nelson's family"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Hey, don't tell us how to feel!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "What do you care, Mrs. Krabappel... or should I say, Mrs. Crab apple?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Crab apple? I never thought of that! It totally works! How could I have been so blind?", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Rollin', rollin', rollin' toxic barrel rollin' / they're so hot and glowin' / we'll die!", "c": ["Background workers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Let them while away the afternoon spilling their beer on gullets and trousers whilst drooling over French postcards", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "At this 'museum,' you won't see a Michelangelo, but you might see Michael Landon and Beverly D'Angelo", "c": ["Isabel Sanford"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Man, you've been huffing from the bart bag", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "To old man Burns, who's paying us to drink because we're embarrassing! We suck! We suck.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Ohh... a lot of that went in my lungs", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "I'm honored to drink to Apu and, uh... Apulina", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Including a bouquet of flowers, diamond earrings, and we're going to see Paris... Hilton. In Paris... Texas. On our way to Paris, France.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Well... these charity address labels that came in the mail", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "No, Walter's been cool", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Well, if it's not easy, don't do it. That's how I got where I am.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "You mean up until now you did care? Then why did you wear that tutu to school last week?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "What about all the times I didn't wear a tutu? Nobody ever brings those up.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "It's the Paul Lynde Helen Reddy Hudson Brothers Easter Special! With guest stars Willie Tyler and Lester and Nadia Comaneci!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "I don't think you understand the mechanics of heterosexual sex", "c": ["Nadia Comaneci (on TV)"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Check it out-- I'm riding some guy named Ironside!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Ow, my banana! Danger, danger! Door ajar. The indignity!", "c": ["Robot"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "I don't wanna go home! I'm not done talking to me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "You think that rat is a remote", "c": ["Bum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "I don't need your sharity!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "I'll dance for my money! (humming hoochie-coochie)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "You think you can dance", "c": ["Bum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "You can't move that far. You're my best friend. What's your mom making? I'll match it!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "My mom's already transferred her 401k", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Hey, I thought you said my money was no good. I said you're no good.", "c": ["Luann", "Kirk"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "I'll fight you with every lunch half-hour I get", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Why are your clothes so dirty? And why do you smell like liquor? Have you been clubbing?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "That Chevron station has the most romantic bouquets!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "We're having a simultaneous pass out!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "My nose makes its own bubble gum!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "I found you, Bart! Ralph, we're playing checkers. I don't like you, boy-mommy.", "c": ["Ralph", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "You smell worse than you did last time", "c": ["Bum"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Well, there are six schools of begging: Bad musician, messed-up vet, cripple, fake cripple, religious zealot, and crazy guy", "c": ["Bum"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Coke and Pepsi are the same thing! Wake up, people!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Yeah. I gave my look some new flava. Suck it in!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Now, please let me give you a wedgie in front of these guys. No way! Please? I'll be gentle.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Springfield baby, in a diaper, poked his eye with a windshield wiper! Springfield baby! Springfield baby!", "c": ["Capital City kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "You'll be like an owl saying Milhouse who? Milhouse who? Milhouse whooo?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Hey, moldilocks, mom says I'm supposed to help you. Fine. You can confirm the accuracy of the hose.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "You wet your pants. Shut up! It's a serious problem.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "I'm gonna hit you so hard, I'll kill your whole family! Bart, you're in my family. Shut up!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Are these diamondique? Nope. Diamondelle? Nope. Cubic diamondium? Nope. Dioxy-ribo-diamondoid? Close, but no cigar.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Hostess Twinkies? I heard, if you age them for ten years, they turn to liquor", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Everyone knows you're the future of family. That's not true, Bart. Mom and dad value us equally, and... aw, you're right.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Just forget everything you know about gravity. But I know so much about it.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "We're like Howard Carter discovering the temple of Tutankhamun. Or like when I discovered the school's xerox code. One, four, seven. Just saying it makes my butt feel warm again.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Oh, look! He's picking his nose", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "That's what you call commitment to a bit", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Thank god we've come to our senses and worship a carpenter who lived 2,000 years ago", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Like Englishmen and Scots. Or Welshmen and Scots. Or Japanese and Scots. Or Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "There's your husband, A.K.A. Mooch-a-lini, drooly McGee, corporal flashback, etcetera, etcetera", "c": ["Bum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "The bob seger boxed set, which really only needed to be one disk, but the box was nice...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Well, then maybe you need to buy me a brooch", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "The judge said I was the most pathetic person he'd ever seen in court. Pity custody-- boo-yeah!", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "You're somebody's father?! Yes, okay. Ooh, boy.", "c": ["Repo man", "Kirk"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "We were having a sleepover, and a robber came and wet my bed. Then he folded the bed back into the couch and disappeared into the night.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "This is what sitcoms call 'a schmaltzy ending'-- a sentimental capper to leave the audience feeling good. Usually followed by a little coda to cut the treacle.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Granny, I'm gonna shoot me some Vietcong. Yeah, well I ain't cookin' 'em.", "c": ["TV show characters"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 12, "et": "Milhouse Doesnt Live Here Anymore"}, {"t": "Wait till he puts his unsuspecting butt on that toilet seat!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.52, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Huh? Where's the Ee-yow? / I didn't have to. I'm a dude.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Butt on bowl, little man! (BOTH STRUGGLING) Hey, my pants aren't down! It doesn't matter!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "I'm taking you all out for pancakes. / ALL: Yay! Yeah!", "c": ["Homer", "All"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "It's old lady Simpson! Run!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "They just painted the tower brown. Either way, everyone who works in the kitchen speaks Spanish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "The fast track begins at birth. That's it! Claw and bite for position! We have only enough tuition money for two. For the rest of you, better luck next life.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "All they should be worried about is the Raspberry Monster! (MARGE BLOWING RASPBERRIES)", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Which one? Tri-City, Omni-Pay, lnsta-Threat? I've beaten 'em all!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "I could go to any Chuck E. Cheese in America and hear what animals say. Do you know what I say? I say, 'Next.'", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "You're a poopie! / You nurse with that mouth?", "c": ["Child", "Henry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Maggie, we're not a mime school, so we can't take a non-talker. But here's some good news. The Gap will always need sweater folders.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "She'll have plenty of money, because she'll marry a grocer... who steals from the till. Would ya let me finish? Jeez!", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Rice. Why not caviar?", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Pippi Non-talking.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Einstein didn't speak till he was three. And even then, he could only speak German.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Fine. I'll give her an lQ test if only to extinguish all hope.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Well, congratulations. You're now as intelligent as a pig.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Woo-hoo! I got that one right, too. (LAUGHING ENTHUSIASTICALLY)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Your baby is brilliant. Why, she could already teach at Florida State.", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "One sixty-seven! That's amazing for a Christian.", "c": ["Philippa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "That's right, because 167 is a bigger number than 159. Do you see how that works?", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "If we have another one, it could build a time machine, which we could use to go back in time and not have any kids!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Welcome to the others. (SCREAMS)", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "I'm slapping this sucker right over 'Support Our Troops.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Did the last of something die?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Katie Couric didn't just become the world's most famous dwarf. She escaped from the circus and went for it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Stuffed cabbage? Can you believe they found a way to make cabbage worse?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Hey, why do they call them 'field trips'? We never go to a field. / Oh, untrue. Last Thursday, we visited a battlefield.", "c": ["Lisa", "Martin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "I'm bem-barrassed for you. The following 'ha-ha' is not from amusement but an expression of contempt. Ha-ha!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "My new name is Ravencrow Never Smiles.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "We'll go to the cemetery and summon the dark lord by kissing and junk.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "But first, you must apprentice by kissing the goddess lronica, uh, who lives in this rock. Do it for an hour, hour and a half.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "When you're a baby, you spend all day just rolling around on the floor. Boy, I miss that. Ow!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Yeah? Well, you're gay. / People who accuse others of being gay are often covering up their own latent homosexuality. / Um, uh... (GRUNTS) Bullies rule!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Er. That's me. Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Er. / This is Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Er's doctor. He's too sick to work today.", "c": ["Phonic Frog", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "You are purposely teaching her the wrong word!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "I agree with your mother. You are a disappointment to Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Er.", "c": ["Phonic Frog"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Maggie, you're such a quick learner. Why don't you learn how to fly?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Oh, I thought you said 80. / But she's only eight. / Oh, I thought you said 80. Well, we'll get right on it.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "'Somewhat satisfied.' I see. Well, maybe I'll just somewhat find your daughter, huh? / Fine. 'Extremely satisfied.' / Looking good, boys. Now, let's go get some smoothies.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Go ahead and search. You will never find it all. I'm baking muffins as I speak.", "c": ["Museum visitor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Some trees are big. Some trees are small. But all trees have bark. Except for poplar, ash and maple.", "c": ["Museum guide"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Why do you always take the children and not the fondue sets? Why, Santa? Why?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Well, if you drop a feather and a bowling ball in a vacuum, they'll fall at the same rate. (CHUCKLES) You think you've seen it all in this job, and then something like that comes along.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Like how does a helicopter fly? And what causes thunder? / I say it's angels bowling.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "I see a vase, but Eddie sees two people in profile. / Now, this may shock you, but you're both right.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "I know, we'll use reverse psychology. Maggie, don't press the red button. / Damn it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Bart, you were a worthy foe.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Don't try to be something you're not, namely food.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "Your butler let us in. / Play along. I'll explain later.", "c": ["Philippa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "She's as common as an angry woman in an lbsen play. (LAUGHS) Zing!", "c": ["Philippa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "She could be at sweeping up hair. (CHUCKLES) / That's my baby, jerk!", "c": ["Henry", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "I felt it, but it was like, 'So what?' / Oh! Again with the nose. I have a chin, you know?", "c": ["Henry"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 13, "et": "Smart And Smarter"}, {"t": "I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "d-ohh! (Screams)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "The wild dingleberries? It's a movie version of a cartoon family you can see for free on tv. But they stretched out the plot and added a wildebeest from the hood.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Sorry, pally, the dingleberries are sold out... but, looking at you I'm sure your kids are used to disappointment.", "c": ["Movie Theater Employee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "My big fat greek salad? Not a movie.", "c": ["Movie Theater Employee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "What would jesus view?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "This ice cream's too cold! Oh, I cut myself on the cone!", "c": ["Elderly patron"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Birthday?! (sirens blaring) (gasping)", "c": ["Jasper"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "(Rapping): I say a birth, a day, a birth-a-dee-day! Now my good-time gang will blow you away! (Screaming) never leave the day room. Never leave the day room!", "c": ["M.C. Birthday"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Never leave the day room. Never leave the day room!", "c": ["Senior citizens"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "We'll just go to the furniture store and sit down.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Good? I'm in it. I had a small speaking role. Yeah, I went to visit him and was banned from the set.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "The director saw my photo in a medical book.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, there are lots of kids in it. They fall victim to a vicious... well, b-b-but don't ruin it for me!", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Your buttons came from the trousers of a psychotic killer?", "c": ["Movie character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "hey, I paid for this popcorn, and I'm eating it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Everything you see is make believe, although it is based on a true story-- some of which happened in this very theater.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "the buttons look like they're sewn to my eyes, but they're really held on with hot wax.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "honey, can daddy rest his soda on your head? Mm-hmm. That's my girl.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Homer, this is a rare lapse in judgment for you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "But scaring kids is good for them. It hardens them against future terrors like roofing and driveway scams.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "there's no boogie woogies or woolly bullies out there.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, your nightlight's burned out, and the only bulbs we have left are these red ones.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "It was only a movie... filmed in vancouver... with donald sutherland as the priest who stopped believing...", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I think you're on your own, toots.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "And bart, I'll see you in hell, you booger-eating wuss.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "That's right! We all know!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Visit us on the web at lisathemovie.Com.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "homie, that kojak is sexier than cannon and barnaby jones put together. I think he looks a little like you. (Laughs) who loves ya, baby?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "You have the right to remain sexy. Anything you touch can and will be held against you in a court of sex. If you cannot afford a sex-torney--", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Good. Can you play with him for half an hour?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I did find this newsweek from 1986: 'Why america loves saddam hussein.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "hello, simpsons! Artie ziff! None other! I've been hiding in your attic, living off the moisture I can suck from the rafters.", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I thought we killed him! No, we didn't. But I did delete him from my bulk e-mail list. No, you didn't.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. (Chuckles) that monkey got america through some tough times.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I would stop, but I love my voice!", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "and I was partying with newt gingrich, janeane garofalo and scottie pippen.", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "My stock will have a slight rebound in 2003!", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "they even took my repo vans.", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Not even a fresh remark. Except this one. Wowie wow, wow, wow! Zazooga!", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "With his brains and your musky smell, I've got a full male role model.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "He tried once, but he got confused and thought the book was real. He's still looking for that chocolate factory. It consumes him.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Yeah, but after the ice cream man cut up his credit card, he got a little depressed.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "All: Hello, handsome! Hello... (quietly): Losers.", "c": ["Moe's Patrons", "Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "can yodeling cure cancer? Of course not.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I lost all me 'screw you' money. I'm very sorry to hear that, willie. Screw you!", "c": ["Willie", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "That's some good spelunking, lou. Mighty fine spelunking.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Hot mamma, I'm livin' in flush-town, population artie!", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "would you accept 98% of the outstanding shares of ziffcorp stock? And the peanuts in your mouth. Very well. Achem! All of them. Achem!", "c": ["Artie Ziff", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I always knew some day I'd be a C.O.D.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "This guy's the one what done the thing that why you're here for. I'm talkin' malfeasance here.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Don't tell my kids I'm going to jail! Tell them I joined the blue man group! I'm the fat one!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Plead the fifth amend-what? Refuse to answer on the grounds that I what? Inseminate myself?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "You, sir, are a moron. A mormon?! But I'm from earth!", "c": ["Judge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "and she was so beautiful, but what man would want her now? She was hot. Wouldn't want her.", "c": ["Judge", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Anti-semitism? No. Your problem is you never think of anyone besides yourself.", "c": ["Artie Ziff", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "(Can-can song playing): Artie, artie-artie, artie artie-artie, artie, artie-artie-art ziff-ziff-ziff-ziff ziff-ziff-ziff.", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "If he's out, can I move back in? Oh, what do you think?! And she's the nice one.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Artie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "If he's out, can I move back in? Oh, what do you think?! And she's the nice one.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Daddy's on fire. Daddy's not on fire. Daddy's on fire-- daddy's not on fire. Daddy's on fire... daddy's not on fire! (Whines) okay, fine, he is. (Squeals)", "c": ["Marge", "Maggie"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "(Imitating homer): Why, you little... (choking) (head bangs) aw, it's no use, son. By the time I get out of here, you'll be grown.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Turn around, turn around turn around and you're a young man and you're too big to choke. (Sobbing)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "(Laughing) (coughing)", "c": ["Teenage girls"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh... the hair is standing up on the back of my knees.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Come on, short round, we're going back to my temple of doom.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "they say that the love of a good woman can save any man. Except you, freak.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "I can't get my socks off. Aw, leave 'em on. I like a man with a little mystery. I'm done. My kind of man.", "c": ["Artie Ziff", "Selma"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "(Gasps) wonderful, glorious, magnificent. And you were pretty good, too.", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "First, I'm going to read the paper, have a little nosh, and then I'm going to rinse out a few things, and then, finally, I will get an innocent man out of jail!", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Well, he can't break my heart, 'cause he kind of makes me sick. This could work.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "And I'm happy to listen to fm 95.3, home of boomer and the diz! Bart! Chill out, mom. They gave me this hat.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "You can either steal a car or kick me in the crotch. (Grunts): No one ever chooses the car.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "You can either steal a car or kick me in the crotch. (Grunts): No one ever chooses the car.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, my god! Maggie, you're talking! Homer, I believe that's lisa. Oh, bart, what a man you've become.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "All I needed was the love of a good woman, and since you're not interested, uh... I'm not! Merely checking, because I'm into that.", "c": ["Artie Ziff", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, smoker, eh? Well, I have ways of dealing with you. Squirt, squirt, squirt. Your lungs will thank me.", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh, look, there's a whole bunch of you. Squirt, squirt, squirt. That's it, circle around me. Squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt. Oh, I'm going to need more water.", "c": ["Artie Ziff"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 14, "et": "The Ziff Who Came To Dinner"}, {"t": "Oh god, I love to smoke. we're live at the opening of the latest chapter of the epic space saga, cosmic wars! And the nerds have emerged from their basements, wearing strange costumes to shield their pasty skin from the moonlight.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.07, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Your ignorance is amusing, and sad. I am dressed in the actual clothing worn by cosmic wars creator randall curtis. I bought them at auction, then added pregnancy panels to fit my unique body type.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "One ticket for the space show. I want to see if any of them aliens match up to the one I got in my root cellar.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Aw, man! I waited three weeks at the wrong ticket window!", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Man, even i think movie popcorn has gotten too big. Ow! Get your own, mooch!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "amendments?! Regulatory agencies?! What the fark-bot? Don't worry, they're just getting the plot out of the way so it won't slow down the... (imitates laser fire) (imitates light saber) (imitates wookie moaning)", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Whoa, mama! Finally, some action!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm so bored! Maybe I'll clean out my wallet. Hey, my car insurance expired. Quite a while ago. (Laughing)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "I didn't realize british coal miners had it so bad. There's blood on your hands, mrs. Thatcher!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "jim-jam, what happened to the wheel covers on my landing gear? Me-sa sell them to buy me-sa some space spliff.", "c": ["Movie Characters"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "That character is just a tired stereotype. Yes, and it's-a makin' a-me so mad, I'm-a gonna throw the meatballs at-a screen. But first I gotta pose for a pizza box.", "c": ["Man", "Italian Man"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "That sucked! I can't believe the 'gathering shadow' was senate redistricting! Worst cosmic wars ever. I will only see it three more times. Today.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "From now on, I'm not looking forward to anything. Oh, my god! Tomorrow, there's a two-for-one sale on piano benches! I can't wait! Ooh, ooh, ooh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "kids, why don't you write a complaint letter? That's how I got the channel six weather girl to start wearing a bra. That was you!?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "your movie stunk smelly butt. I am fine. Sincerely... I'll write the letter.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Marge, you destroyed my interest in weather!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "742 evergreen terrace. Dad, that's our address. (Whimpering): He's in the house?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Well, northern california is wine country. We could take a tour. And it's a perfect time. I just got fired again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "I mean, who am I gonna complain about while I'm drinking? We should do more together. You're my best friend, homie. Well, yeah, legally.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "But if we're really best friends, how come we never play hoops? The doctor said if you tried running again, your ankles would shatter. But you have to catch me first! (Bone cracks) oh! Oh, my ankle snapped!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "It's a hip-hop loaf of garlic bread for an olive garden commercial. Yo, yo, yo! Entrees start at $6.95. Offer not good on sunday, fool.", "c": ["Special Effects Worker", "Garlic Bread"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Unless it has too many fingers, which are tough.", "c": ["Tour guide"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Ah, summer in tuscany.", "c": ["Wine Tour Guide"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "mmm, it goes great with the jolly rancher I'm sucking on!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Pleasant aroma, rich full body, well-aged... and the wine's not bad either. (Both guffawing) oh, stop ieinfeld.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "we always get the hicks on saturdays.", "c": ["Wine Guide"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Better technology doesn't mean better storytelling. Well, now i know you're crazy. Wait, before you have us killed, hear us out. I will wait ten of your earth seconds.", "c": ["Lisa", "Randall Curtis"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "I'm going back to my roots: Plots and characters lifted from westerns and samurai films. To the video store!", "c": ["Randall Curtis"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Kids, please accept these boxes of jim-jam cereal. It's just alpha-bits with extra j'S.", "c": ["Randall Curtis"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Well, we've learned if you don't like something, just go to the office and complain. What's our next stop? Fox broadcasting, 10201 west pico, building 203.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "I drank this much! (Bottles rattling) mom's not gonna like this. Don't tell mama what mama don't like.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "wow... mom and dad sure are having fun. Hey, as long as they're not hurting anybody. Uh-oh. Whoa! Aah! Please stop! Aah! I'll give you money! Aah! Okay, I'm going to tell! Ow! Aah!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Victims"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Homie, you are so cute. (Giggling) oh, honey, I love to hear you laugh. (Imitating marge's giggle) I don't talk like that. (Imitating marge): Yes, you do.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Well, you talk like... (imitating homer): Oh, marge, sorry I set the bed on fire. D-ohh! (Both laughing)", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "That's your fun place, like me and the lamp store. Come on, we'll have a blast. Kids, while we're out, the tv's in charge. Go to bed when it says.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Wine? Geez. No one ever orders that. Umm... all I got is this old stuff here. 'Chateau latour-- 1886?' Oh, I should just throw this out. No, it'll have to do. That'll be four bucks.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Oh, what have I done? Let me dry my tears with this lost shakespeare play. (Sobbing)", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Like scott and zelda munster.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Why are your keys in my scrambled eggs? And why is krusty on the couch? This'll cover what I did to the fireplace. (Groans)", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "we're all alone, no chaperone can't get our number the world's in slumber let's misbehave", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "do you have to make such an unholy racket? Sorry, marge-- I got to break in my ski boots some time.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "And when I feel weak, I will draw strength from the bible. Uh-oh. Here comes the gospel according to puke.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "duffmensch orders you to party! This reich will last a thousand beers. Oh, ja! I do this, and I'm jewish.", "c": ["Duffmensch", "Jewish Man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Ah, the germans. You just can't stay mad at 'em.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Well, I don't want to be a 'gloom-hilda.' I guess one beer won't hurt. Isn't that a little big? You can just nurse it. (Chanting): Nurse it! Nurse it!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Have you ever walked on stilts? It's not that great. Yes, and you've said that several times now.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "I'm in no condition to drive. Wait-- I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk. (Engine starts)", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Remember the rules for drinking and driving. Drive slow but not too slow. Drink some cola to keep yourself alert.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Nice work, cruise control.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "If I get one more D.U.I., They'll take away my license. And what will I leave when I rent erblades?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "oh, boy, I smell beer. Devil's mouthwash. You weren't calling it that at the christmas party.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Someone"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Oh, my god! This D.U.I. Is a she-U.I.!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "I'm going to be incarcer.. incarcer... incarer... I'm going to jail. (Wood snapping) what was that? Maybe someone else is here. And maybe he'll step forward and admit to being the real culprit. (Homer makes bird noises) bawk... ooh-ooh.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Oh, this is a new low for me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Well, it's actually just a stepladder by the water fountain.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "oh! What are you? You're like a monster! That's, like, the worst thing I've ever heard anybody do to anybody.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "You should be drinking watered-down beer in a chipped glass on a stool with a nail sticking up out of it. Yeah, all right. But I get to poke you with a stick. (Both grunting)", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Hey, save some for the rest of us, alky! Don't bogart our lord!", "c": ["Church Members"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Today's service is concluded. Suggest you all get on the road before marge.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "This is a pamphlet for chimney sweeping. Is it, marge? Is it? Oh, it is.", "c": ["Barney", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "At oktoberfest, all I could think about was beer! I couldn't even celebrate... the harvest.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Sir, she is not an alcoholic! You can't put me on hold! I'll put you on hold! I am a lineman for the county", "c": ["Homer", "Phone System"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Mom never drives drunk, and the crash was in your car. Also, the driver's seat was adjusted for your stomach...", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "your suspicions are important to me and will be answered in the order received. Macarthur park is melting in the dark", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Hey, baby, you want to play caribbean stud? I'll show you what I'm holding. Get away from me! Your loss, stupid lady.", "c": ["Gambling Addict", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Where's the package? Damn it!", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Love of not being arrested.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Of course. (Liquid gurgling) (gulping) no wonder they call it 'the good book.'", "c": ["Rehab Patient"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "'Cause we're packin'! Arr, a couple of these and your first mate turns into reese witherspoon.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Arr, a couple of these and your first mate turns into reese witherspoon.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "What's with all those rappin' grannies in the movies? If I ever start rappin', just shoot me in the head.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "What I enjoyed was spending time with my husband. You're hooked on love, marge. I know that feelin'. Nine months later, seymour plopped outta me.", "c": ["Marge", "Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "I woulda kept walking, but there were cops everywhere.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "My name is marge S. And I'm a homer-holic! You're drinkin' homer-hol? I'll take a swig.", "c": ["Marge", "Rehab Patient"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "I'm afraid what I like can't be swallowed, sniffed or smoked. Hmm. Then you better inject it between my toes, 'cause my mom checks my arms!", "c": ["Marge", "Rehab Patient"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "He's a chronic alcoholic and you're in complete denial. Aw, shut up, captain bringdown!", "c": ["Kyle", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "For you I'll give up rum-based cocktails. Except mojitos and rum and coke. Well, that's no promise at all! It's important for me to see you take at least one step.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "For you, I will give up all clear liquors. Really? Even zima? Hey, I only drink that when I'm already drunk.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "Hey, anything's possible with a little help from my bible. Oh, no! It's a real one! No! Why, god, why?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 15, "et": "Co Dependents Day"}, {"t": "where are your clothes for the gentleman who's big and fat? The basement, sir.", "c": ["Homer", "Store Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "damn this-- oh!-- Resilient economy! Oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "this is our 'li'l hooker' line. All the girls your age are wearing it-- except the freakishly unpopular.", "c": ["Store Employee", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "He's eating my beauty! Mm-hmm. Skin mites love the taste of beauty.", "c": ["Lisa", "Store Employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "I hope he didn't have children. Do they have children? Millions of them.", "c": ["Lisa", "Store Employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "sir, other customers need to use that dressing room. Dressing room? Uh-oh.", "c": ["Store Employee", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "And I suppose those wedding guests will also pay for dishwashing liquid, heated water, and two-sided sponges?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Silent anger: The cornerstone of a successful marriage.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Cool. Guns. Die, happy couples.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "that's not a toy, son. It's a bar code reader. It registers wedding gifts. Bull-honky!", "c": ["Store Employee", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "I'm going to the employee lounge to finish my shasta.", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Name of groom. Bart simpson. Name of bride. Lotta cooties.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "a fake wedding? That's what I call chutzpah! Yeah. I'm gonna scam this town out of so many presents.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "And what I don't use, I'm gonna return for store credit! Both: Store credit! Store credit! Store credit!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Another employee family wedding. What's the traditional peasant gift in these parts, a milking cow?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Remember, if anyone asks, you're my niece from out of town. I am your niece, uncle joe. Good lord, I'm an abomination!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "this prank is my sergeant pepper'S.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "I see neither blushing bride, nor ardent swain.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "oh, my god, we're sealed in! Hey, nobody breathe my air! Get your own!", "c": ["Unknown crowd member"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Would some flatware make things right? Um, what does it say on my badge? 'Cash bribes only.'", "c": ["Bart", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Bart, the record of your mischief is staggering. Just look at this file. That doesn't look so big. These are directions to the facility where bart's criminal record occupies three full storage lockers.", "c": ["Judge", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Six feet by eight? Six by 14.", "c": ["Bart", "Judge"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Please, judge, you can'T. I-I'll do anything. I'll squeal on my dad-- he's been up to bad things. Crap you never even thought of!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "We've already got an informer working deep cover on your dad. One he'll never suspect. Is it lenny? Damn it! I mean... uh, no.", "c": ["Judge", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "No! You're not going to take my baby to jail! all right, boys, she's not letting go. Make the switch.", "c": ["Marge", "Police"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "your eyes need diapers. 'Your eyes need di...' that's good, ralphie.", "c": ["Ralph", "Unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Perfect mood-setter for the end of your freedom.", "c": ["Guard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "It's not all your fault. All these years, I watched you turn our son into a time bomb, and yet I did nothing. So in a way, I, too, am a victim... of you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "His acting out was probably caused by negative reinforcement. Oh, I get it. Blame the strangler.", "c": ["Lisa", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "these are all fast food jobs. Ex-cons are a godsend to employers like me. If you ask for a raise, I just call your parole officer and back in the can you go!", "c": ["Fast Food Manager"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "ah, cartoons. America's only native art form. I don't count jazz, 'cause it sucks.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Better stay out of the sandbox, I could be buried alive. Maybe the slide...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "I'm gina. You touch my fence again and your puberty's going to be very boring.", "c": ["Gina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "God, I hate this place. It's nothing like the brochure.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "They're not true friends. Time's up!", "c": ["Marge", "Guard"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "I believe that children are the future, unless we stop them now.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "This end's for beating, this end's for holding. Uh-huh. When does training start? It just finished.", "c": ["Trainer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "If you're going to pick on someone, why don't you pick on someone much bigger than you with a gun?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "His dad's a screw? I sure am.", "c": ["Unknown kid", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Oh, wait, monday's martin luther king day. Oh, I'll see you when I see you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Studies show the part of the brain that remembers dance steps is also the anger center. So, juveniles who know how to fox-trot are 10% less likely to commit a double homicide.", "c": ["Warden"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Who conducted this study? The institute of 'shut your fat face'!", "c": ["Unknown student", "Warden"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Then you'll have punch and you'll drink it. Then your eyes will meet, and it will be awkward. So help me god.", "c": ["Warden"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Okay, here's my rules. Hands at 10:00 and 2:00, no eye contact, and I don't want to hear how pretty I look. Don't worry, you won'T.", "c": ["Gina", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Well, I can close it faster, or I can close it right. Can't you do both? Talk to the union.", "c": ["Homer", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "well, you do look pretty in the moonlight.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "guess where the next one's going. Up my butt?", "c": ["Gina", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Why did you kiss me? Are you looking to do the bartman?", "c": ["Bart", "Gina"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "that mean boy... he dragged me out of the dance. I didn't want to go, but he was too strong. But you got 20 pounds on me. And then he said I was fat.", "c": ["Gina", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "But I have to wizzle. Fine. I miss prison.", "c": ["Bart", "Gina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "If they're smart, kent, they'll stay off the main roads. It's all here in my book-- 'ten habits of highly successful criminals.'", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Tell them I'll be on conan thursday, with heather locklear and third-eye blind.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Why would bart escape if he's going to be released in two weeks? You just don't understand boys. He's stupid.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "You shall marry my daughter, moonhilda. I can't wait to lay my eggs in his brain.", "c": ["Alien father", "Moonhilda"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "So why'd they send you to juvie? Shoplift a scrunchie? Get bent. I pushed snow white over the parapet at disneyland.", "c": ["Bart", "Gina"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Oh, man. Did she live? Yeah, but it's not a good life.", "c": ["Bart", "Gina"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "I don't have such a good memory since I drank my thermometer... but I whittles what I sees.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Uh, hey, what are you making now? Uh, sometimes I whittles the future.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Cletus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "but there's no such thing as cooties, cootie shots, cootie force-fields, or cootie insurance. But state farm took my money.", "c": ["Gina", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "You ke your ink hole shut about this.", "c": ["Unknown family member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Take it from a blacksmith-- that girl's trouble. Oh, that girl's nuts. First she likes me then she hates me. I've already forgotten how ugly she is.", "c": ["Blacksmith", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Wait... do you even have a family? No, I don't! They're imaginary, like your brain!", "c": ["Bart", "Gina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "you're such a psycho! Mama's boy! future skank! Family guy!", "c": ["Bart", "Gina"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Well, well, well. If it isn't punch n' juvie. Plant the evidence on them, boys. Uh, chief, we don't have to. These ones are actually guilty.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Super. Makes our job that much easier.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Son, I want you to know, no matter what anyone says, there's no shame in being caught alive.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "He will have a great bod, though. And a couple of those teardrop tattoos. Those are cool.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "I wouldn't feel right going to the bathroom with no one watching.", "c": ["Gina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Gina, thanks for showing us the meaning of christmas. And thanks for showing my brother that girls can be cool. Who is this nerd?", "c": ["Lisa", "Gina"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Well, my shift's over. I guess it's back to my bachelor apartment. Make a tuna sandwich, turn on will and grace and cry myself to sleep.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 16, "et": "The Wandering Juvie"}, {"t": "Homer reading 'Recipes to think about in bed' - visual gag of inappropriate reading material", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm going to sleep on the couch. / she sure loves that couch.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "oh, my god! I've shredded a child! Again!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "venezuela, here I come!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Dodge-rock, volley-brick and base-game", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "I want to play dodge-rock! / You're out.", "c": ["Student", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "We'll be honeymooning at lake shelbyville lodge, cabin 32, room three. And we do not wish to be disturbed.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "You finally hooked the skinfish.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "It looks good... but I'm not going to celebrate till he's gaffed, gutted and hanging in my trophy room.", "c": ["Edna Krabappel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "sex with an alligator, screaming orgasms and virgin screaming orgasms", "c": ["Bartender"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "I'm glad I sent the kids to grampa's to protect their innocent minds. / ..And here's some more germans we killed. That flame-thrower really toasted their waffles.", "c": ["Homer", "Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "grampa, how do you sleep at night? / They drug us.", "c": ["Bart", "Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "It'S... another pair of edible panties! / now, that's sexual.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Would you please return my pants and/or underpants so I can go home?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "We're your buddies. Now, come on, homer's kids' principal, have a beer.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "I can't-- I might be called upon to give directions later.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "You were asked to chug-a-lug, and a-lug you shall chug!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Am I a good principal? / You're the best we could get with the funds at our disposal.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "delivering these ice-cold lady duffs has made me hot. Really hot.", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "30 bucks an hour-- oh, yeah!", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "sorry to bother you, but we got an anonymous tip about loud music and a strip-da-didilly-dipper.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "hey, ladies, ladies, I-I really am a cop.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Uh, eddie, lou, how about a little backup here? / Hmm, hmm, like what you see, ladies?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Eddie", "Lou"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "you know, I wish I had an exciting life, like that class picture photographer. / Oh! How many women has he had in that van? / Two that I know of.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "No. Absolutely no friction dancing. / Oh, come on, you killjoy! Wussy. Grinch.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Party guests"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Now you'll have someone who'll rub your back... without being asked. / Aah, not this again.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "I picked one that seemed far away, and it zoomed up like a june bug flying at my windshield.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "I could never lie to you guys. / Marge, guess what? Skinner wants to bail on his wedding.", "c": ["Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Homer, you're still talking to me. / Oh, man, it's just awkward. I'm out of here.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Hey, you're the one always bugging me to screw up our marriage. Spice up! Spice up!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Right, naked duffman? / Oh, uh... oh, yeah!", "c": ["Marge", "Duffman"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Cowabunga one to fat load. / This is fat load. I'd like to request a new code name. / Denied.", "c": ["Bart", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "That cloud looks awesome. That rock looks awesome. My hands look awesome.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Happy 50th anniversary, seymour. / I was thinking it might be time to combine our cd collections. / I don't know, edna. I'm not quite ready to take that plunge.", "c": ["Edna", "Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "As I once said at the battle of khe sanh, 'I surrender.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "I do. / no, you say that part later. I'm sorry, seymour.", "c": ["Edna", "Reverend"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "we got a runner. Snipers, take your shot. / I can't do it. That dress is a vera wang.", "c": ["Bart", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "is this corn oil? / Canola.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "He drove her to it you know. She was only doing it for the appliances. He's a she. She's a he. They're both, both.", "c": ["Wedding guests"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "I spent $15 on those dance lessons, might as well use them. Forward, side, together. Back, side, together.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Eh, bro's before ho'S.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, passion's for teens and immigrants.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, it'S... in my case... hmm...", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I thought you didn't want to get married. / That was before I missed her smell, her warmth, her beautiful, beautiful penmanship.", "c": ["Homer", "Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "every second without you is like a million kicks in the crotch. / Oh, that's so lovely.", "c": ["Skinner", "Edna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "There's no ring on that finger. / Uh-oh. Oh, why did I take it off? Oh, right. To see if I could skip it across lake michigan.", "c": ["Edna", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Which are you saying is dead? Our marriage or our batteries? Let's just say in an emergency, I wouldn't count on either one.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Well, I was married once... in an online fantasy game. We were thinking of having children, but that would have severely drained my power crystals.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "We were thinking of having children, but that would have severely drained my power crystals.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "We've made it to my car and you haven't left. A new record.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Oh, I love your black tinted windows. / Actually, they're trash bags. Now, could you give me a pushing start?", "c": ["Edna", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "uh-plee-ee-ee-eease settle for seymour / so plee-ee-ee-eease come back to the dork", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "My beloved is napping blissfully in the many folds of my spider-man t-shirt.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "She is near-mint and comes from a very limited edition-- females who will talk to me.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "A fat, bald guy like you... you could have anyone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "I wish you'd devote this much time and attention to our relationship. / Don't worry, marge. We'll get something to eat.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "wow, the creator of futurama!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "I would kill the children of a thousand planets just to see you smile. / that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard, which is kind of sad if you think about it.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Edna"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Why are you dressed like catwoman? / You... oh, they told me it was catman!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Should we aid our brother in his blood feud ? / No. My mom worked really hard on this costume.", "c": ["Convention attendee", "Another attendee"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "It's like I'm dc comics, and you're marvel. / I understand completely.", "c": ["Edna", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "You look like a malaysian transsexual.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy's mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Marge, you just agreed to raise the kids klingon! / D-ohh!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Marge, you just agreed to raise the kids klingon! D-ohh!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 17, "et": "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"}, {"t": "Hot sauce? / Kearney, that could blind someone. You get an 'A.'", "c": ["Kearney", "Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Not otto-- he'd drive us off a cliff. / Off a cliff? That would solve everything!", "c": ["Teacher", "Otto"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "You've betrayed me for the last time.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "horseplay on a school bus? Has the world gone mad?", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "It's your fault, for giving birth to my archenemy! / At least i was planned.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "stop it! No one was planned!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "They have a zipper from every james bond!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Why won't I die?", "c": ["Uncle Tyrone"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "If you make me get on that plane, I'll give myself diarrhea! I know how!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "I'm only rotting on the right side. / I'll right-side you!", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "brideshead's gonna get revisited tonight, baby!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "I say you don't exist!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "It's about a harvard chick that puts out for a guy... and then croaks. And it saved paramount studios for Charlie Bluhdorn.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "A chick flick?! Oh, say it ain't so, ho!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Like what? They'll do something with you that they hate? / Exactly.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "I say bury her, before she starts to smell.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "She's wooden and unpleasant, and no matter what he does, he's still ryan o'neal.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Yeah, we're tryin' to create a mood here, so shut the hell up!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Well, I wouldn't be happy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "It's called wicca, and it's empowering! / Wicca's a hollywood fad! / That's kabala, jerk!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "You know I'm usually good for a triple-x throwdown", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "You're never alone in this crapshack!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "what kind of an airline routes all their flights through Nome, Alaska? / It's their hub.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "not me, I do crunches.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Attention miami passengers, suntan airlines is now boarding rows 'pi\u00f1a colada' through 'daiquiri.'", "c": ["Airport Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "As the bible says: 'Screw that!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Go ahead, what do I care? I'm getting laid off tomorrow.", "c": ["Gate Agent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "you guys are such party animals, we're gonna skip the safety check and just take off!", "c": ["Pilot"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "A steak, or two steaks? / Can I have both? / Of course.", "c": ["Flight Attendant", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm princess grace and princess di smashed together.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Did you know indonesia is at a crossroads? / No! / It is!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "they might not be dead. They could be in the basement.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "how can I be a parent? I break my teeth on ribbon candy.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "It's really boring. You kids would have hated it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "hey, do I hear a back rub? / No, no, that's the noise the phone makes when you've been on too long.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Swelldorado hotel miami beach, 'sun and water without your son and daughter.'", "c": ["Hotel Operator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "I can't go to miami. I'm expecting calls from telemarketers!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "All right, ladies, get ready to settle.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "And tonight, we'll finally, and romantically, hump.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "can't wait.", "c": ["Newlywed couple"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "with the new breast pumps and diaper genies and corporate flex-time, child-rearing ought to be a snap.", "c": ["Young Woman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "you keep thinking that.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Everything happens to eemore.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "No scar. He must be on his first heart. / I wouldn't kick him out of bed for dying.", "c": ["Elderly Woman 1", "Elderly Woman 2"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "you know those feet sticking out from under the house in the wizard of oz? You're looking at them.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "not the kind of congress that contained paul tsongas...", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "I'm going into the gold medallion club, with silver-level membership.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "and homer's getting the low-fat meal.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "You're more boring than my husband, and he's dead.", "c": ["Elderly Woman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "may I place my hand on your shoulder as a sign of friendship? / Why not?", "c": ["Raoul", "Grampa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Like people in new jersey have never seen a fat man making out. It's on the freakin' state flag.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "I am not as interested in women as my open shirt might suggest. To be frank, they disgust me.", "c": ["Raoul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "I am not as interested in women as my open shirt might suggest. To be frank, they disgust me.", "c": ["Raoul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "For many years, I was a tater farmer, but the shameful truth is, the taters farmed me.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Your neck skin dances when you speak.", "c": ["Raoul"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "This whole family is built on a tissue of lies and romance! / Yeah, it's a tissue, covered in blood and boogers!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "all I wanted was a second honeymoon, and now the floor is made of lava.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Hey, I just zinged you. / I know. My new thing is to ignore you.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Kids don't beat me, I beat kids.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "Because I was saving that for my birthday.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "You've been to space! / And yet, I've never been to me.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "back off, canadians. We got them. / You back off, hosers. They're in canadian waters, eh! / Beat it, you puck-slapping maple-suckers! / Take a hike, you shatner-stealing mexico-touchers!", "c": ["American Agent", "Canadian Agent"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "I bet it always works up there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "More alive than any of you squares!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "More alive than any of you squares!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 18, "et": "Catch Em If You Can"}, {"t": "On FOX, the home of promiscuous idiots.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Get ready, skanks. Here comes the truth train!", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "This isn't an island at all. It's a peninsula.", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, you don't need a boat cause you can walk!", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "When you sign a contract with FOX, you know you're going to be betrayed and humiliated.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "If we don't watch these, it's like we're stealing tv.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "The five-story pig shredder, blessed by three popes.", "c": ["Farmer Billy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "If you don't like bacon, well, then the hell with you.", "c": ["Farmer Billy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "The only thing that can make bacon more delicious is seeing how it's made!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Mr. Simpson, if you really want to kill yourself, I also sell handguns.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "But I'm no super-genius. Or are I?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Hey, I know that country!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "if you don't buy my record... then Al-Qaeda wins!", "c": ["Country Singer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Clearly had a snout job.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Too '80s.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "How is someone so lame related to a hot tamale like me?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Dribble glass, rubber knife, whoopee salad...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "The setting features tuning forks, champagne flutes and of course, chopsticks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Ella Fitz Jell-O", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Lordy, girl, your entry stinks like the south end of a north-bound mule!", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Your place-setting thinks it's better than it is, like a yard dog that sneaks into the house!", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Well, you did put it on a table.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Wobble, wobble, wobble!", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "This table's about as solid as your underlying concept.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "I didn't know I could fit in a bubble. I must be losin' weight.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "We all know pi-r-squared. But today, pie are justice.", "c": ["Homer as Pie Man"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Wherever people are mistreated, the pie man will strike!", "c": ["Homer as Pie Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Gee, I thought I had a bigger package than that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Maybe you're right, Lisa. Maybe you're pie. Pie-be you're pie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "It's 'fantastic floor'! My family can't put in floors we rent!", "c": ["Comic Book Customer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Don't do the crime if you can't do the key lime.", "c": ["Homer as Pie Man"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "There is no way I'm going to be dating a man with pie on his face.", "c": ["Nichelle Nichols"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "What about fistface? ... I demand you reveal the identity of fistface! It's you!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, I think you'd find his filling extremely hot.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Flanders!? He's not man enough to trim my crust. I mean pie man's crust. I'm not pie man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Pie-- popular pastry, tricky math thing, and now sword of righteousness.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "This is for your show's slight decline in quality over the years.", "c": ["Pie Man"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Oh, those poor innocent pies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Search me. Come back when you want a giant rack.", "c": ["Plastic Surgeon"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "No one ever wants to hear about the importance of pants clips, do they?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson away. I mean, the pie man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "That's positive, calling me a jerk? You are a jerk.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "I'm looking up your nose, but I feel like I'm staring into your soul.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "That was so exciting, yet familiar. Like coke with lemon.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "I... murdered your father.", "c": ["Homer as Pie Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "We've been getting his mail for weeks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Dad, this is the basement.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Welcome to my secret lair. Dad, this is the basement.", "c": ["Pie Man/Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "You're not mild-mannered. You're often liquored-up and rude.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "I was in so deep, I forgot pies were food.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Aw, we wish you could eat us, too.", "c": ["Pies"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "I've run out of pie-related puns.", "c": ["Homer as Pie Man"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "It's not a rubber band; it's a scrunchie!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "No, not community service! I can't stand helping others! I just can't!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "like every monster, he just wants to be loved.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Grow a spine on your own time, blimpo.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "All his talk of peace and love is really honking off my red chinese masters.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Please forgive me, talking llama.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "His brain isn't large enough to juggle two contrasting personae!", "c": ["Crowd member"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Yeah, and Homer's a dumbass! No offense, Homer. Ya dumbass.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "The pie man could fly. And spit acid! And animals did his bidding!", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Dad, I think you created a hero that even you couldn't live up to.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "You'd have to be an idiot not to see it from the start.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "And wherever pie man is, the cupcake kid will not be far behind.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "While you two are up on the roof, why don't you take the leaves out of the gutter?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 19, "et": "Simple Simpson"}, {"t": "Because I'm 'it.' Now whoever finishes first gets lemonade. BOTH: Yay! For me.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse", "Martin"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "You guys need your cootie shots. (BOTH CRYING OUT IN PAIN) Well, I hate this job, but I love the health plan.", "c": ["Girl", "Milhouse", "Martin"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "We'll find some other way to entertain our boy-crazy cousin who thinks you're cute. Oh, I wouldn't mind pushing that in the mud.", "c": ["Girl", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "I hope you like the taste of ringworm medicine.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "You never had a chance to become my urine.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "I got the idea from a now discredited book on raising children.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Homer, I'll bet when you were 10, you were stealing beers, kissing girls, and tipping dinosaurs.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "It was years ago when I was 10, back in the '60s or '50s. Or maybe it was the early '70s.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Underprivileged? You pretended we were poor just to get me into camp? Uh, yeah, pretended.", "c": ["Homer", "Abe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Wow, a Negro. We prefer the term 'black.' So cool.", "c": ["Homer", "Carl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Moe's not really a counselor. His parents dropped him off here, like, two years ago and they never came back for him. I sleep under upside-down canoes.", "c": ["Lenny", "Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "We got no water, no heat. We catch our own breakfast. Twelve kids died at our camp. We need the money to pay lawyers.", "c": ["Camp Director"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Oh, here's one! It's called 'Stay out of my way.' Idiot.", "c": ["Camp Director"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "A girl with teeth! Me like.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "That's 'cause I've eaten 16 pieces of pie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Oh, a switchblade! I see the switch, but where's the blade? D'oh! Found it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Patches, scars, stumps. Everything but zits.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "I guess it's row versus wade. And it's my right to choose!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Only PG. Nothing R. Yarrr.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Until I met your mother, who made that girl look like a Godzilla made of garbage!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "And if I'd known it was you, I never would have married you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Whee! Recess! Whee!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "That's still one more than you. I've kissed three girls. (SOBBING) I'm so lame!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "You make Jackie O look like a splay-legged milk-horse.", "c": ["Etiquette Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "I'd be proud if you grew up to be my husband's mistress.", "c": ["Etiquette Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "I used to walk like this all the time until my tendons snapped. They heard it in Shelbyville.", "c": ["Etiquette Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "I'm Elvis! Elvis Jagger. Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "One day as a straight-haired brunette. I feel so bad for you.", "c": ["Girls' Camp Instructor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "That's what Leslie Uggams does! BART: Leslie who? MARGE: Uggams!", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "We've heard the same story two times now. Whose side are we gonna hear next? The Sea Captain's?", "c": ["Lisa", "Sea Captain"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "I like Bobby Goldsboro, Gilbert O'Sullivan, Terry Jacks, Parliament, but not Funkadelic.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Is he making chicken noises?", "c": ["Young Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "It felt like a cluster bomb wiping out a graveyard full of zombies.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "It was as satisfying as a million Hallmark cards with all the right sized envelopes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Face it, Lise. Men are dogs. The worse we treat you, the more you want us. That's not what dogs do. (LAUGHING) You said 'dog doo!'", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "But every time you smash a nerd with it, think of me. I will.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "But every time you smash a nerd with it, think of me.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Because the only way out is up a gentle slope.", "c": ["Fat Camp Counselor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Your boy bosoms tell a different tale.", "c": ["Fat Camp Counselor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Hey, he didn't say nothing about this poison oak! Sweet, sweet poison.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Yeah, you've got a date with a skinless chicken breast.", "c": ["Fat Camp Director"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Hey, don't you try and prank me with a fake name! I will out your intestines and use them to make a lanyard!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "We know everything about boys except what they look like below the waist. I have some theories based on a G.I. Joe I bought.", "c": ["Girl Campers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "We know everything about boys except what they look like below the waist. I have some theories based on a G.I. Joe I bought.", "c": ["Camp Girl", "Another Girl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Because that's what I've been telling everybody. You're also pregnant.", "c": ["Camp Girl"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "We've got an emergency here. We need 10 cc's pronto. And by cc's, I mean cupcakes. MAN: I know what you mean, Bill. I've worked here longer than you.", "c": ["Fat Camp Staff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "I can't believe I went five minutes without one of these dream sticks.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "If they fight in front of us, we might get new bikes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "There was the gun I hid from you. The time I sued the church. Ruining Lisa's wedding in the future. Remember that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Someday I'll write you back, Osama.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "I kept it right next to my IBM stocking.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "As a reminder of the hurtful things men can do.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 20, "et": "The Way We Werent"}, {"t": "Too wonderful. You're right; this is it. They're selling us to be crash test dummies! Oh, please let it be volvo.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "it's shot day! welcome to hell... man avenue medical plaza.", "c": ["Doctor/Nurse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "children, you should be grateful you live in a country where childhood diseases have been practically... Karate!", "c": ["Doctor", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "That hobo skeleton is not a toy!", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Only babies and ex-junkies are afraid of needles. Stick me, chuckles!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Don't forget maggie! I got her when your heads were turned. Got her good!", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "No, thanks. I already helped myself.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "see you later, inoculator!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "he can run, but nobody escapes the needle. Darlene, cancel all my appointments. But I need that kidney now.", "c": ["Doctor", "Darlene"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "black-on-black violence must end. That was for dr. King.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Don't feel bad, doc. I won't even let my mom clip my toenails.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Okay, well, I really enjoyed being you, dr. Hibbert. Oh, by the way, you're not welcome in the library no more.", "c": ["Moe", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I'm afraid the inoculation has swollen his ear holes shut.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "If it doesn't, call me in the bahamas.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "That was a malpractice waiver, fool!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Give your wallet, kid! We're gonna identity theft your ass!", "c": ["Bullies"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "he's just standing his ground! He knows that deep down, all bullies are cowards! We're undone!", "c": ["Bullies"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Willie's been deaf since the boiler explosion of '88. But I taught myself to read lips.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "What'd you say about me mother?! For your information, her feet stink 'cause she works in manure all day!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "But it's still the best darn starbucks in glasgow!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Bart, pass the ketchup. Bart, pass the ketchup! Dad, he's deaf. Oh, sorry, right. Bart, pass the corn. Bart, pass the corn!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Now I've heard everything. Unlike you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "everybody, remember that for when his hearing comes back.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I'm sure that 'mule' enjoy it.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 3.77, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "man, tough crowd.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "hey, donkey, want a carrot? Psyche!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "good lord! Bart's mooning the flag! Don't look, buttermilk.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "how dare he?! That's the flag my grandpappy rebelled against!", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "When you insult the flag, you insult my flag tattoo!", "c": ["Biker/Redneck"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Your child's behavior appalls me, not just as a principal, but as a veteran of america's only losing war. To date.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Oh, sure, marge-- just like 'blind bart,' 'wheelchair bart,' 'pregnant bart,' and my personal favorite, 'railroad-spike- through-head bart.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "kids love trains.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Cram it, iraqi! Why'd you dis the flag? It partied on the moon!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Weren't we afraid of him just a few days ago? We're complex!", "c": ["Bullies"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I want you to overhype this story so much, it makes the new york post look like the new york times. Or the new york times look like the new york post. I forget which one the good one is.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I did not come to this country illegally to see it mocked.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "There's the boy who bared his bottom to old glory. And the family that applauds his every moonery.", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "They hate our country, but they love our soapy water!", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Hey, benedict arnold, our cups don't want your colorful balls. No one calls me unpatriotic.", "c": ["Chuck E. Cheese employee", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Hey, how ya doing, homer? Oh, not too bad. How about you? Oh, I'm fine. Your wife was great in bed last night. You keep your hands off my wife! Oh, yeah? Well, I give her what she needs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "This bar's only for real americans. And people on permanent visas, like me. What? What are you all looking at? I'm dutch.", "c": ["Moe", "Customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go listen to the president's weekly radio address. And not the rebuttal! Good-bye, homer. I can't get drunk and vomit next to a guy I don't respect.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Son, I've learned one thing in this life: To stay out of trouble, just say nothing. Don't rock the boat. Don't even get in the boat. Just buy some ice cream and walk around the pier. But don't go in the bathrooms, they're filthy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Talk about boats! Then when he asks you if you hate this country, you just start crying and pretend you don't. But I don't hate this country. There, there, save your lies for the american public.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Bart simpson, what do you hate most about this country? Is it the freedom?", "c": ["Nash Castor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "all right, so if I hear you correctly, you're saying america is better than jesus. Do you agree?", "c": ["Nash Castor"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "If by 'us', you mean loudmouthed talk show hosts-- which everyone seems to be in this country-- then yes, I do hate americans!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "There you have it-- springfield hates america. Now, coming up after this commercial, I will be talking even louder. Don't miss it!", "c": ["Nash Castor"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I declare today, december 25, 'we hate springfield day.'", "c": ["President/Official"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Look what happened to Hitler City, North Carolina. If they hadn't changed their name to Charlotte, they'd be sunk.", "c": ["Official"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "$17.76?! I can't afford to sell a westside home for that! But what a fantastical year for pizza by the slice!", "c": ["Real Estate Agent", "Luigi"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Come on, kid, go! You got the red!", "c": ["Driver"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Oh I don't think so. It is a heartfelt expression of my true desire to protect my mahogany noggin.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Poonam and uma are fighting! No, no. Those are their pre-witch hunt names. Their new names are freedom, lincoln, condoleeza, coke, pepsi, manifest destiny, apple pie and superman. And together, we're the macgillicuddys.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I'd like to say something about the current climate of repression and fear. Oh, put a fork in it! Sit down, saddam!", "c": ["Lisa", "Congregation"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "'Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press.' That's from the first amendment to the constitution.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Simpsons, you're under arrest for the violation of the government knows best act.", "c": ["Government Agent"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Elmo go to wrong fund-raiser.", "c": ["Elmo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I called the republican tax cuts unwise. And I stand by it. They're unwise!", "c": ["Bill Clinton"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I'm here because I said imported wines are better than napa valley. Yeah? Well, why don't you take a nap-a?", "c": ["Prisoner", "Guard"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "my only crime was driving a truck full of explosives in from canada. I don't know why they put the real ones in with the joke ones.", "c": ["Prisoner", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I wish I could say the same for my crazy cousin, bill o' rights. What did I do? What did I do?", "c": ["U.S. Constitution", "Bill of Rights"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I don't know whether it's the lack of sleep, the sodium pentathol, or that it's the only cartoon I've seen in two months, but this is what I believe in now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I'm the last registered democrat. Tax and spend! Tax and spend!", "c": ["Prisoner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I don't want to be in any stupid talent show. Not without my tennessee walking horses.", "c": ["Prisoner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "now, people have accused this family of not loving our country, but you can't spell 'U.S.A.' Without us... eh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "americans are brave and loyal so come on, jerks, give us your oil", "c": ["Simpsons"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "dad, why are you still singing that stupid song? Because if they catch us, we may have to do it again. And this time, I want it tight.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "What genius put a prison on the middle of an island?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Hold your fire. That walrus will eat them. - No, that's the dad. But he's eating a seal.", "c": ["Guards"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Swim toward san francisco! I'm not made of money! We'll swim to oakland.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "I don't want to end up like elmo, hanging himself in prison.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Come to France and we shall mock the country that saved us twice from the germans. Eh, you wait till you see her up close, then you tell me.", "c": ["French Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "The united states has its grandeur and its follies, but, mostly, it's the place where all our stuff is.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Name? - Simpson. From now on,you're the simps! Mm, that'll save time.", "c": ["Immigration Officer", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 21, "et": "Bart Mangled Banner"}, {"t": "Why did they cancel Futurama?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "You crushed my boyfriend! You better be good at making out!", "c": ["Teen girl"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "What's the big deal about a rock that looks like a dude? I've got a dad that looks like a monkey.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Per our agreement!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Knock-kneed home renters. Can't we thin this herd with some smallpox-infected blankets?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "We're already immune, you jerk!", "c": ["Random townsperson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "There's a lot you don't know about me, Marge. A lot that would shock you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Thank you, Blood and Tears. Sorry to hear about Sweat.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Now, to do something I've never done before. Help out an old man.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Here's a poem. Run fast or lose your ass!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "And tonight was the night I was gonna show him my tattoo.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "I'd be a publisher, just like Katharine Graham! Or that lady who wheels Larry Flynt around.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "That stays in.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Because of my svelte physique, I was able to fit in a narrow air pocket.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Thankfully, a mother mole nursed me as her own until I was strong enough to continue.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "I have been 89 for a while now.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Thank you, Geezer Rock, for doing what none of us had the courage to do, smush Mr. Burns.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "This town cared more for a soulless piece of granite than for me.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Don't be so needy!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "You eliminated that program in the '30s, sir. They were getting too grabby!", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Bring me a checkbook and a mother mole!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Man driving erratically throws papers out window!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "I haven't cried like this since the third Mr. Teeny died.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "You couldn't hold a candle to him. Neither could you!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Perfect. You're our TV critic.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "I don't know. Making nerds cry? Perfect. You're our TV critic.", "c": ["Lisa", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "I want to be a fire truck. How about a feature columnist? Yeah, I'm a feature columnist!", "c": ["Lisa", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Burns is alive? Then whose skull am I drinking beer out of?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Whose grave? Uh, the unknown soldier? Carry on.", "c": ["Barney", "Others"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Want to split an ice cream sundae? Done and done!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "TV station owner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Snot a problem, chief. Don't call me chief. Sure thing, jerk. Chief is fine.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "No support for the naughty hotties!", "c": ["Bill and Marty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Indoor plumbing. The lack of it killed my mother.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Oh, Cletus. Tonight, you can knock me up again.", "c": ["Brandine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Television, jumping box, picto-cube, just crank it up!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "He's got a heart as big as my boobs!", "c": ["Booberella"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Don't end up like me. Vote Republican. God bless America. This cartoon was made in Korea.", "c": ["Cartoon character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "stinky pants.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "No! No! I won't take your blood ponies!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "I can't! My mom's not picking me up for an hour!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "My God, are you always on?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "And by the way, that story I filed from Baghdad was all made up. I was actually in Basra.", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "the pen is mightier than the flaming bag of poop.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "I can't be held responsible for what my goons were ordered to do!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "That was totally worth it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "That smell takes me back.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "It wasn't quite the same.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "My league! My beautiful league! All dead.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Have some congratulatory drugs.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Have some congratulatory drugs.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Don't you love it when nerds don't know they're nerds?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Hello, Beefcake Charlie.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Put on a pot of coffee, drink it and start making burgers!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "except still a dude!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "I reviewed the new tractors. They're all shite!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "now there's a thousand freaks xeroxing their worthless opinions.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Well, blow me down. I'm a Selma.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "Unless of course you're Rupert Murdoch. He is one beautiful man.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 15, "e": 22, "et": "Fraudcast News"}, {"t": "This one keeps eating himself...", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Am I the only one here who's in horrible pain? / You're the only one who won't shut up about it.", "c": ["Kodos", "Kang"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Cool! I'm vomit!", "c": ["Kodos"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Homer, what are you doing? / Trying to get a Frisbee off the roof.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Concussion... diddily... Hemorrhage... Doodily... Injury... Bodily...", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Ned, you nearly died... of a brain tumor. Thank goodness that bowling ball knocked it out of your head.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Hey, while you're there, can you get my Frisbee off the ledge? / All right, but I swear to God, this is the very last time.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["running_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Just because you foresaw Dr. Hibbert's death... doesn't mean you can see into the future. It was just a sinister co-inky-dink.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Some bullies threw my shoes over a telephone wire... with me in them!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "What the Family Circus?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Do me! Do me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "So, what'd I die of? Too much happiness? Naked girl avalanche?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "In this neighborhood, who hasn't?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Not in the face.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Well, sometimes there's three.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Quit whacking my barrel! / Never!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Today is Lenny's birthday, and they're having ice cream cake. / But ice cream cake!", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you know, you got to take the bitter with the sweet.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Press... destruct button. / Don't do it! Don't do it! You'll kill everyone! / Do it... do it! Kill everyone!", "c": ["Homer", "Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Sure is taking me a long time to reach this button.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Everything's coming up Homer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, the joke's on you, smart guy. The garage made it to Heaven, too.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Hmm, I wonder if I could blow up Heaven?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "You're not the boss of me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "What's this? A doorknob. Good show.", "c": ["Bart", "Dr. Bartley"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Lock him up till we find someone darker, boys.", "c": ["Chief Inspector"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "We British sure eat crap.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "All kettles and biscuits.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Cor, blimey, skip to me loo.", "c": ["Cockney girl"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "I shall never grow up. / Uh, in jail you will.", "c": ["Ralph", "Chief Inspector"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "You may examine my curios, but do not touch my oddities. Use your judgment with my gewgaws.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "I just told the natives they were having sex the wrong way.", "c": ["Missionary"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "I'm alive. I'm gonna go to America. I'll be in pictures. You'll see.", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Burns? The evil industrialist who makes coal out of babies?", "c": ["Lisa/Eliza"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, heads up there, buddy. A rat's gnawin' off your toe.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Then I sold them all for opium. Oh, how I wish I had them back... to sell for more opium!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Opium rules!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "It's the only way I can get Ralphie to go to sleep. / I can make opi-ohs!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Ralph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "It was five minutes ago, you twit.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "And I've never known the pleasures of a woman... or a proper eating apple.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Hey, lots of people like eel pie. / Yeah? Well, how many of them have muttonchops?", "c": ["Inspector", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Why can't you be more like Eddie? He never says a word against me. / That's 'cause you cut out his tongue.", "c": ["Chief Inspector", "Lou"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "I wanted to come up with a case even you couldn't solve.", "c": ["Inspector"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Remember me for my police work and not the murders!", "c": ["Chief Inspector"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "This comically large capsule has lifetime supplies of niacin, thiamin and riboflavin-glavin.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Shrink ray? Oh, there's always something else to buy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Now, now don't worry, my dear woman. She will be rocked gently to sleep by the stomach acid.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "And, uh, while you're in there, grab as much cancer as you can.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Screw you, doc! I fly from the gut.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Screw you, doc! I fly from the gut.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Has science ever kissed a woman? or won the Super Bowl? or put a man on the moon?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Help me, science!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Oh, boy, are they retro! It's a fun design by R. Crumb, who was friends with Harvey Pekar.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Marge, that's what turns a mediocre voyage... into a fantastic voyage!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "There's a whole rack of 'em over there. I only ate two.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Learning is cool!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Well, that hurt like hell.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! This is the worst Halloween Horror we've ever faced.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Boy, when God closes a door, He opens a window.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Cut me some slack. I'm a widow.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Cut me some slack. I'm a widow.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "I say when we're full! You don't wanna piss off a man who can kick you in the crotch... from the inside!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "Cheer up, my chubby inner child. I've got a feeling everything's going to work out fine because...", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 1, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xv"}, {"t": "I'm turning this disco into a hockey rink. You mean a honky rink!", "c": ["Blackula", "Black Dracula"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "You know, Black Dracula is now a Congressman from Virginia.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Check it out. I'm a business jerk!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Marge, I don't want to buy this house. I'd have to live next door to myself.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Turn that down! Screw you! Relax, we're just looky-loos.", "c": ["Homer", "Neighbor", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Marge, It's not fair to compare us to an American household.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "A slightly colder fridge? In my lifetime?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Ooh, a bread maker-maker!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "A walk-in microwave! Hey, Marge, can you press 'stop' when my popcorn's done?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Those guys are the biggest crooks around. They charge for materials and labor! Pick one, jerks!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Man, that hurt. And now to do the exact same thing again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Playdude magazines? Have you been hiding bosom rags from me?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "But I need them for the articles! Les articles?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Why would I want to look at a nude woman I'm not even married to? I wouldn't even know how she could improve me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "'I'm not wearing any clothes... So why don't I just splay myself on a pool table'?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "'Sport Fishing with Sonny Jurgensen.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "What man would want you now?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Playdudes! Let the blossoming of Milhouse begin.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "I gotta be honest, I don't see what all the hubbub is about.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "She can Calamine my hives anytime. That's Congresswoman Bella Abzug.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Then we could have orgies, whatever they are. We'll be Playdude Playmates! We are Playdude Playmates!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "I think you used too much plaster. Oh, now you tell me. I never stopped telling you. So that's what that white noise was.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Many husbands feel emasculated when their wife must turn to a professional to satisfy her remodeling needs.", "c": ["Contractor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "I'm gay. But I have a subcontractor that does that sort of thing for me. I like-a to kiss.", "c": ["Contractor", "Italian Subcontractor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "When Virginia Woolf wrote, 'Every woman needs a room of one's own,' she must have been talking about the kitchen.", "c": ["Contractor"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "How 'bout cooking up some money... because this stupid kitchen cost $100,000. I was thinking of chicken wings. Those are good too.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "meatloaf, casserole, tuna loaf, loaferole, casseloaf", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "These wings are 'V-licious!' I'll put this recipe in the Gravity's Rainbow Cookbook, right next to The Frying of Latke 49.", "c": ["Thomas Pynchon"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "but up against you, I wouldn't have a Hindu's chance in heaven.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Or my new dream of ditching my family and sneaking back to India in disguise. Apu? Never heard of him. My name is Steve Barnes.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "this music will get a stewardess to give you a layover. I hope it's in Omaha. My grammy lives there.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "It's deep-fried cookie dough with meringue buns, cherry 'ketchup' and caramel 'mustard.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "It's dessert, but it's hot dogs, so it's good for you!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Marge, I don't want to freak you out, but I think I love you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "but screw them, you're in! Congratulations!", "c": ["Letter/Ovenfresh"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Someone somewhere says I'm better than someone else!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "I think your grilled crayon sandwich was delicious. You only had a pretend bite. No, I'm eating it. Look.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Can you taste the thumbtacks? Crap.", "c": ["Ralph", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Nelson, your debonair wit reminds me of a young Mort Sahl.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Listen up, ring-a-ding-dingers. I'm throwin' a little sip 'n' quip at the Playdude Treehouse Saturday night at the top of the ladder. Be there or be square.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "I'm throwin' a little sip 'n' quip at the Playdude Treehouse Saturday night at the top of the ladder. Be there or be square. I want to be a triangle. You're not invited.", "c": ["Bart", "Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Don't look at my human eyes! His oven light's on, but nothing's cooking.", "c": ["Billy Bouillon Cube", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "You're making a 'tasty fake'? That is so '90s. Why don't we all move to Seattle and use slow modems?", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Turns out he's choking on a peanut. Well, a punch to the gut cleared that right up.", "c": ["James Caan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "I don't, but I hope you win. Oh, he's going to win. Some guys like a challenge. Not me.", "c": ["Bart", "Edna Krabappel", "Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Ribbons and trophies are no comfort on your deathbed.", "c": ["Auntie Ovenfresh 1954"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "I was, uh, how you say, 'ruining your food so I win,'", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Why is everyone at this bakeoff such a meanie-bo-beanie?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "These muffin-huffin' batter biddies can smell weakness a mile away... weakness named Marge!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "and the punchline implied that they fornicated! Ralphie wants to go on the pill!", "c": ["Lovejoy", "Mrs. Muntz"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Ralphie wants to go on the pill!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Bagpipes getting down with an octopus... That's classic.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "You feed us on $12 a week? I stretch your father's meatloaf with sawdust.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "I'd like to give those Betty Crookeds a taste of their own medicine. Yes... medicine. Baby ear medicine.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Even the Pope couldn't forgive this pizza... and he's letting a lot of things slide these days.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Even the Pope couldn't forgive this pizza... and he's letting a lot of things slide these days.", "c": ["Stuart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "But she'll still win the contest? And lose her soul. But win the contest? Yes.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "You... killed him. He was my world! Blood for creme!", "c": ["Lisa", "Twinkle the Kidd"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "That's an entry?! I thought it was garbage. Just 'cause it was cooked in a garbage can don't make it garbage.", "c": ["Marge", "Brandine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "but most bachelors we know would prefer to squeeze their own tomatoes. Bachelors are always squeezin' stuff.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Yeah, and your father's 'No House'. Now scram.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Hi-fis, Norman Mailer, gettin' some... what do you think 'some' is? Uh... toys?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Because we're poor? Exactly, and we're poor because we have kids.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Well, it's better they hear it from me now... than from their parents when they're old enough.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "What a kind yet oddly ominous thing to say.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Lisa, the people in this bakeoff are stinkers... who pushed me and pushed me like the pushy-wushies they are!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Look, I'll be a winner with feet of clay... like Mickey Mantle. Everyone loves the Mick. I don't want Mickey Mantle. I want my mom.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "I guess Dad has to be my hero now. Not if you knew what he's been doing.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "'I look up to you... because you let me down.' That's clever... and devastating.", "c": ["Lisa's note", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Looks like me and Marge are both going to hell. That's when I'll make my move.", "c": ["Brandine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Looks like me and Marge are both going to hell. That's when I'll make my move.", "c": ["Brandine", "Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "I thought it was dead!", "c": ["Brandine"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Well, beat me, I do just scrambled eggs, Homer. The secret ingredient is whiskey. Hey, it keeps the kids quiet.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Now that Brandine's famous, she done run off with James Caan!", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "Now that Brandine's famous, she done run off with James Caan! But don't you worry. I'm going to fix his wagon.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "That's it. Next time, I fly.", "c": ["James Caan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 2, "et": "Alls Fair In Oven War"}, {"t": "68 squares of ankle-busting fury. That's right, A double-dogleg, hamstring knotting Hop-Way to Hell.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "What insane kangaroo dreamed this fevered nightmare?", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "What? - Nothing.", "c": ["unknown", "unknown"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.74, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Lisa has a big butt.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Don't make Lisa mad. She might crush us all with her giant butt.", "c": ["unknown child"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.23, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Stop teasing the big-bottomed lass. She's just as God made her... Plump as a Christmas goose.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Every Simpson starts with a circle. Daddy has one big circle here... then a smaller one up here... two big, sexy circles for eyes...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "And for some reason, my hair and ear form an 'M' and a 'G.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Party! Party! Party! Party!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Oh, Homer, you're wasting away to nothing. You simply must eat something.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Here's a mistake. It says the capital of Kentucky... is Frankfort. Dream on, pal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Really? Frankfurter... is that anything?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Bart really did get a hundred. I gave a test on state capitals, but I forgot to roll up the map. Everyone got a hundred.", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "I win. P-A-R-T. Par-tee.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "This means nothing. Yes, yes, you've made that quite clear.", "c": ["Edna Krabappel", "Seymour Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "I heard she's back to her birth weight. Must be nice.", "c": ["unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "I make four bucks an hour planing down the thighs.", "c": ["store worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Now you've got no choice. Non!", "c": ["Lisa", "unknown"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "He sure is... if he can keep up with these party animals. Aunt Patty, Aunt Selma, Grandma Bouvier and... Grampa.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Plus your school-yard chums: Martin and Ralph. Bart's my bestest boyfriend.", "c": ["Marge", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Rock on. You know, the first time I met Bart was at recess in first grade... Oh, I told him to use a land line.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Okay, gang, let's get this party started. or should I say Barted?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "I drew him with Canadian Prime Minister Louis St. Laurent. Their relationship was frosty at best.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck... Say 'goose,' you stupid freak.", "c": ["children"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "What? I'm not fat enough already? How could you say that to me?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "I had to leave 'cause my French bread pizza dinged.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Remember that maple leaf ironed between the sheets of wax paper? What was that? That was crap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Soon they'll be leaving the nest, and you'll have time for yourself. hundreds of thousands of hours, And then, the peace of the grave.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Mom, after that lame party you threw, I'd rather hang out with thunder-thighs here.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Seymour! Do you want your vitamin in applesauce? Or are you gonna take it like a big boy? Applesauce.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Stop struggling and get in my mouth, jerks!", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. Bart Simpson. Spiky hair, soft kidneys, always hitting himself?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Those tadpoles are your lunch? Technically, brunch.", "c": ["Marge", "Nelson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "I have a sister... I think she's dead now who had the same problem.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "You're nocturnal. You don't have to impress me by making fun of others. I already like you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Whatever. Take it sleazy.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Nelson? I thought you were sleeping in the park tonight. Oh, that's okay, the kid don't bother me none.", "c": ["Moe", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Hey, kids, I just heard they canceled league night down at the bowling alley. You know what that means? Open lanes!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Mom, when I want lame and needy, I'll call Milhouse. No offense.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "You've never had one before? No, but I saw some in a catalog once. People in sweaters were eating them at a picnic.", "c": ["Marge", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "So, my mom works at Hooters, but her dream is to go to Vegas and work in a real strip club.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "He went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back. He said 'smell ya later,' but he never smelled me again.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "That's how we get our Kaypro. Sometimes I think he's more interested in his 'Itchy and Mitchy' cartoons than me.", "c": ["Nelson", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "That's because your butt blocks your ears. That doesn't make any sense. Neither does your butt.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Now, I know there's a handsome young man behind all that hair and dirt. Maybe not, but you did a great job on the lawn.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Here's the money you gave my son. We don't want your charity. I didn't give your son charity. I gave him self-respect.", "c": ["Mrs. Muntz", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Go home to your son, Mrs. Muntz, and try not to have intercourse on the way!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Cow milk?!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "I'm your new roommate. I call top bunk. But... it's a single bed. I said top bunk!", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Be nice to Nelson, and I'll give you a Tootsie Pop.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "My teeth hurt all the time. I just try to think about motorcycles.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "A doctor for your teeth? What's next, a lawyer for your hair?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "I gotta do something about him.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "If I can have one dab of frosting and then stop, I'll know I've conquered food at last.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Well, at least she's not singing Streisand.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "I have a sister... I think she's dead now who had the same problem. And I know just the solution.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "He who haw haws last, haw haws best.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "So, now that you're happy again, I guess you won't beat me up at school anymore. I wish it were that simple. I really do.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Like many women, I still have an unhealthy obsession with my weight.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "Come on, say something conclusive. I'm afraid this is a very open-ended problem. Oh, open-ended?!", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 3, "et": "Sleeping With The Enemy"}, {"t": "It helps if you wrap it in a slice of cheese.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Free cheese! / Homer, that was for the dog.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "What's happened to us, Marge? We used to feed each other cheese and laugh all night.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Then came the heart attacks.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "The circus! / A media circus. / I don't know the difference!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "ABC, CBS... the Christian Science Monitor has a flat tire. / I'll get the spare. / No. We must wait for God to jack us.", "c": ["News Reporter", "Christian Science Monitor Reporter"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Kent, I'm hiding nothing... Except this puppy.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Look into his eyes and tell me I'm lying. / Well, I'm placated, and so are all my friends in the local media.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Hey, Kent, run over any more pedestrians? / Those records are sealed.", "c": ["Chloe Talbot", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I didn't think anyone successful came from Springfield. / What about that two-headed goat? / Technically, he was born in Shelbyville. / Yes, but he came here to die.", "c": ["Chloe Talbot", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "One of you ate tin cans, one of you ate health food. How you solved crimes, I'll never know.", "c": ["Chloe Talbot"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "You're the major? / That's mayor, you fertile moron.", "c": ["Woman", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Channel Six News rocks. A car chase every night, or the weather girl wears a tube top. / And if she doesn't, you win a pizza.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "You made a chore wheel that's both fair and wise.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Mayor Quimby is my father. Give me one million dollars.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Only if it is submitted in writing. / Checkmate.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Paris? Just like you always dreamed. / Terrace. Evergreen Terrace. The street that smells like pee.", "c": ["Chloe Talbot", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Hey, only the lame-os stay. / And your mother.", "c": ["Chloe Talbot"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "You insult me, you insult Italy. / Which is shaped like a boot. / Who knew?", "c": ["Italian Caterer", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I remember you from high school. You barfed in my tuba. / I believe it was the school's tuba.", "c": ["Band Member", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "My back pain's completely cured. / That was one too many.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "We finally found out why the dog was scooting around on his butt all day. / Turns out he had an impacted anal gland.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "So Bob, what religion are you converting to now? / Well, I'll tell you one thing... shalom.", "c": ["Chloe Talbot", "Bob Dylan"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I thought he was dead. / Yeah? I guess you ain't been to too many supermarket openings lately.", "c": ["Chloe Talbot", "Krusty the Clown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "The only reason we don't move out of this dunghill is because of my court-ordered ankle bracelet. / I'm here! I'm here! Quit buggin' me.", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "This is the dance the Chinese government makes dissidents perform before they shoot them.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I swallowed a chicken bone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Did you just swallow another bone? / Same one.", "c": ["Chloe Talbot", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "It's like Christmas in Aspen.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I'll teach you to give me my first job out of prison.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "In this box marked 'honoree,' fill in your names. And over here, write in what you did. I'll be back.", "c": ["Principal"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Oh, that Moe.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I love you, Chloe... and I love you too, brake fluid.", "c": ["Young Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Why would Homer write his name in grime?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Good news, Marge! I've learned to walk naked on stilts!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "You want your mic back, local anchor? / This just in... I'm pissed off!", "c": ["Tom Brokaw", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "You want your mic back, local anchor? This just in... I'm pissed off!", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "You're like the electrical tape that holds the two halves of my car together.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "You know what would be a good name for Maggie? Chloe!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "You're like the electrical tape that holds the two halves of my car together.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Morley Safer has the biggest head I've ever seen.", "c": ["Chloe Talbot"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I mean the lava part, not saving Lisa. / Pretend to care!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "She's glaring at us from the front lawn.", "c": ["Chloe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "How dare you show my daughter a life of fun and possibility?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Keep your dish-washing hands off the Armani!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "For your information, our electric dishwasher is on the fritz. / Not that you care about the ups and downs of my appliances. Do ya? Huh, do ya?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I'm going to show you some moves I learned from G. Gordon Liddy! I'm so sick of names!", "c": ["Marge", "Chloe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "There is no need to fight over me. / No one's fighting over you! / Oh. Well, then, carry on.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Sometimes when your mom has half a glass of wine, she goes cuckoo bananas.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Thinking is for losers!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I'll give you a first-round bye.", "c": ["Tom Brokaw"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I know you're mad at me, but I hope you're not mad at Cap'n Crunch.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Don't we have a reporter who specializes in natural disasters? Yeah, he's busy covering Julia Roberts' last haircut. But seriously, he's dead.", "c": ["News director"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Let's see. I've been to Afghanistan, Serbia, Lebanon... / Okay, okay, I lied. I shoot wedding videos / Just Fort Worth!", "c": ["Chet"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I'm growing ashamed of my penis.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "What do women want?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Okay. I'll run as fast as I can, but I'm full of potato salad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "In fact, I don't even know why I'm here. This lava is not a criminal. It hasn't hurt anybody. / Anybody I know.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I'm a cop first... then a boat enthusiast... amateur historian... yo-yo dieter... then I'm a cop again...", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Actually, when it's underground, lava is called magma. / You're so smart, Chloe! / Walter Cronkite told me the same thing. / Shut up!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Chloe Talbot", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Don't worry. We've got two hours before it burns down to my head.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "How 'bout a half hour of pity sex? / Is there any other kind?", "c": ["Barney", "Chloe Talbot"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "How 'bout a half hour of pity sex? Is there any other kind?", "c": ["Barney", "Chloe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I mean the lava part, not saving Lisa. Pretend to care!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "I mean the lava part, not saving Lisa. / Pretend to care!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "No!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Praying to Buddha, Jesus, SpongeBob. There's no time to be picky.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Perhaps we should help. / Screw her!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 4, "et": "She Used To Be My Girl"}, {"t": "Miss Lucy rhyme with deliberate near-profanity fake-outs ('behind' instead of 'butt', cutting off before curse words)", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Teacher interrupts the rhyme with 'Spitballs!' - perfect comedic timing", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "I'm using your unfinished novel (for spitballs)", "c": ["Bart", "Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Bart claims he's bleeding but has no cut - turns out it's from a loose tooth", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "The tooth fairy pays triple for the last baby tooth / Then let's hurry up and rip it out of my head", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Skinner offering his Merkur car filled with Burger King cups and wrappers as replacement", "c": ["Chalmers", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Potato masher's stuck in the small spoon slot. What kind of madman would do that?", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "God, please give your daughter the Tooth Fairy the strength to carry my cash and the integrity not to dip her wand in the till", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "The Tooth Fairy's made a donation in my name to the United Way?! That gossamer witch!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "In the right light, you're starting to get your own muzzle / I thought it was chocolate milk", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "I knew I was an adult the day the judge said, 'We're trying you as an adult.'", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.35, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Action figure suddenly offering disability insurance", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Good-bye Spirogram, Sketch-N-Etch, Ravenous Ravenous Rhinos, Duopoly, Parchoosey, Humor Putty and Sock 'Em Knock 'Em Cyborgs", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Bart singing 'Dust in the Wind' during his toy funeral", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Bart reciting Robert Frost poem 'Nothing Gold Can Stay' at toy funeral", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Sea Captain wanting a friend who isn't a work friend but being unable to tell if people are flattering him because he's a captain", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Or I could write something that's not gay", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.8, "im": 3.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Well, I like T-shirts with a nice joke. Like, 'Support Our Troops.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "As if I would ever want to stop truckin'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "It would cover my boy boobs nicely", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Homer singing 'I'm Too Sexy' while wanting a T-shirt to cover his body issues", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "My attitude isn't for sale. What am I saying? Of course it is.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Let's see. 'Get bent.' Well, the only thing that could mean is 'Kneel down and pray.'", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Do you have a T-shirt with Calvin peeing on Hobbes? / Sorry. / Well, what do you got him peeing on?", "c": ["Customer", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "I can't afford to pay protection to you and Nelson", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Extra-extra-extra extra-extra... ...extra-extra large? / Here you go, Chief. 'Proud Nubian Princess.' / Score!", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "'And as an adult, you'll be needing comprehensive insurance'", "c": ["Insurance Salesman"], "jt": ["running_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "It works. If blue is the color for 'unimpressed.'", "c": ["Buyer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "And we pass the slavings on to you", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Itchy, Scratchy, Poochy, Austin Powers Itchy, Itchy Poochy, Scratchbob Itchpants, Confederate Itchy, and Osama Bin Scratchy", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Bad car. Apologize to the poor little boy.", "c": ["Goose Gladwell"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "This shirt is humorlarious", "c": ["Goose Gladwell"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "'20 stores in 30 states'", "c": ["Goose Gladwell"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Nothing makes parents happier than when an eccentric single man takes an interest in their child", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "What a delightful sprite!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Don't wake me. I'm working / Bolshevism! Sheer Bolshevism!", "c": ["Employee", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Remove all the fillings you got under our dental plan", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Assuming my health does not deteriorate... as I age", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "I say when it's Christmas", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Actually, that stopped after you left, Homer.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "I broke some bathroom fixtures", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "I don't have an inside voice!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "All the good graves are taken", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Okay, you be the girl and I'll be the car", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Screw the market, we're going to Mexico! / It's El Flanderino. Run him down! / I can't run; I'm wearing flip flops!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "'It's El Flanderino. Run him down!' / 'I can't run; I'm wearing flip flops!'", "c": ["Homer", "Malibu Stacy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "You and science go together like Lenny and Carl. The science is Carl.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Childlike Humanoid Urban Muchacho -- Or... CHUM! / Don't hold my hand. It's creepy.", "c": ["Martin", "CHUM robot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Sweetie, that's orphan talk", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Korea did it, and look at the quality of their animation", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "It certainly answered a lot of my questions about wang enhancement", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "No. I will never tire of the bar scene.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Just one. It takes a Marine honor guard to fold it.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "In fact, thanks to my team of loopy lawyers... I never have to give you another penny", "c": ["Goose Gladwell"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "The things I saw there are what made me crazy!", "c": ["Goose Gladwell"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "including that guy who sells those Blu-Blocker sunglasses people sometimes wear", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Yo, yo, yo, keep it on a low flow", "c": ["Rapping toilet seat"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "Hey, idiot, you're fat, and your mom is naked on the Internet. You also smell.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.44, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "You've given me a lot to think about", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 5, "et": "Fat Man And Little Boy"}, {"t": "What? We can not sit on the couch without something happens?", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "We drove 18 hours to come here. But on the other hand, this barrier is very sweet!", "c": ["Visitor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "A feast! A feast! A feast! Homer, you work with these people. A little restraint. Moderation! Moderation! Moderation!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "I am your supervisor. - Really? How do I do?", "c": ["Homer", "Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Lisa, Mr. Burns is the adult the sweetest I know. You know how many adults? Basically, he and Dad.", "c": ["Lisa", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Thank you, I bought for my funeral. There is no rear, then I do not ask me back. I paid for a coffin Molton, I bong and blood want to feel it.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "type in a Burns giant head.", "c": ["Museum Display"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "A wooden plane! It was time that trees are used to something. Rather than keep you planted straight as morons.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "It flew at an altitude of 2m\u00e8tres, a distance of 1m50! Then it was discovered that the rain Starting in the flames. Then the F\u00fchrer me fired.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "And we can use toilets of the future. Homer was a reactor!", "c": ["Unknown", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Entering into force immediately the coverage plan Social workers ... ... Is abolished! Year after year, the health service ... bla bla bla, forms of politeness, Out!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Fly, stupid! I tried to explain that this machine does not really flying. Smithers, he must believe!", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "He is married. Change of course Carole must be notified.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Think team 'Friends' looking for a new player? This series is not even broadcast! Gee, I have been perfect in the role Irish cousin of Rachel!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "As long as I do not work more than 5h by day, without lifting heavy weight. No job at the church, nor as Father Christmas in the nuts ... With people who enjoy nudity.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Children go to the pharmacy of your parents. And find the pills marked: Lithium dibromide. And send them to me. Now! Nobody likes Clown lunatics!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "I treat with Ralph pills from criminal evidence! I have desires smuggling mad!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "I like big buttocks, and I can not deny it.", "c": ["Pfizer Cheerleaders"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "And in these other countries, we sit the ground to eat insects. In which country? Have you ever visited Norway? No. Well, this is the case in Norway.", "c": ["Pharmaceutical Executive"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Wait, it's not a drug! is a cashew nut! I have a cork bottle. Mine flew.", "c": ["Nursing Home Residents"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Your pills have become very expensive. And as everyone is sheet you it was decided to let you die. For those who survive this night, Tomorrow morning there will be waffles.", "c": ["Nursing Home Administrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "I did not survive the 2nd World War and to die! I will fight! It is crazy, but do you want, it is young!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "The border? I should do remove my fingerprints. I could wear gloves. No, they are upstairs.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "We're gringos come muchos dineros spend in your country. Beautiful! Welcome to Canada.", "c": ["Homer", "Canadian Border Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "(Now, without Celine Dion) (Veterans of a single War)", "c": ["Sign text"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "It is good Johnny. Johnny thank you a thousand times. As a gift, here's a DVD player. What is ... Where there is syrup?", "c": ["Homer", "Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Canadian? Looking for a fight? Finally, I mean, just you see!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "I declare that you have the most beautiful brown eyes that are! And I think you hide ... a heart as big that our borders! Now d\u00e9guerpissez! Grand crazy.", "c": ["Homer", "Border Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "He had a passport? Yes ... for my heart.", "c": ["Border Guard", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "I have pills to make you sleep, eliminate clot, copulating. In that order!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Look, the same D and for Dumbo Drop ... Incredibly, only three have never been purchased.", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "With Xanax, I am no longer anxious to be a Simpsons! I just afraid of being hooked the Xanax, but it made me forget.", "c": ["Patient"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "My 8 babies make me crazy! they cough, sneezes, and make noise! They fear my concierge who dares get out!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "I do not even understand my bad jokes! I'm tired.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "What did you do for me from giving me $ 5000 yesterday?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "If you let us come, I leave you Only 10 minutes with my squishy machine. You do what you want ... No camera?", "c": ["Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "I told her it was just courage to believe in a false God. I do not believe in one God. Rather, a super team of gods.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Where is she gone, ta super team? I'll tell you which is the true God, but only if you stay calm.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Tabernacle! Ca c't'un criss' heap of pills! For a new Vietnam?", "c": ["Canadian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Say you want to draw a Taffe on my joint? It's legal here. I was warned that Satan would be charming. Here we go!", "c": ["Canadian", "Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "No, no, it's homemade. Attention is even hotter a dispatch from Fox News. Wait, let me a t'enrouler wet towel around his head.", "c": ["Canadian"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "My buttocks are huge when I'm handcuffed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "I am a big fat french stupid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Fortunately, we have not put your name on the front!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "For the first time I can say without being drunk ... I am really proud of you!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "For the first time I can say without being drunk ... I am really proud of you!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "It is illegal to drink on the road. But it went where? Let good ...", "c": ["Grampa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Sir, my thyroid swells. Stop that! I need your throat for my speech.", "c": ["Smithers", "Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Hang Smithers. I will stir heaven and earth to save you. It is always easier than explaining another my filing system.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Katherine Hepburn! But no, poor fool! Burns is me. Follow me.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Finally, my plane has fulfilled its original goal ... Overturn U.S. laws!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "That's why you have balls snow, and the H-bomb!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "I always wanted to see a man with the IQ of a child to enforce by the government.", "c": ["Johnny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Really? In America, is four times a week.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "There is a 3 parachutes. It is for me ... And the other 2 are gifts for my nephews.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Homer, you're sure Learn steer it? I get both we have wings!", "c": ["Grampa Simpson", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "You are under arrest. For what reason? To have scared a policeman!", "c": ["Police Officer", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Thanks to the pills immunisantes against the lactose I can drink Krusty the milkshake. Disgraceful!", "c": ["Patient", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "If you can not safe, join them! Chief, I watched in the manual. Many of your quotes did not appear at all.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "Only my soul and my breath can save him.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "M Burns made me a freelance consultant!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 6, "et": "Midnight Rx"}, {"t": "See you in Hell, document.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "A roll, sir? - Screw you.", "c": ["Homer", "Server"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "I win. Thinner... thinner... too thin. Better luck next time, 'Tommy-- Virginia Beach.'", "c": ["Character at buffet"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "You ate meat. You ate meat. You ate fruit. You ate fruit.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "What do I have to do to enjoy a Sunday brunch with my secret other family?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "And the worst part is, this is brunch, so you've ruined two meals.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "I'll see you all at lupper.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Why did I ever have kids? I could have written symphonies, or been Shakespeare.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Oh, who are you, the health inspector? Yes.", "c": ["Moe", "Health Inspector"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "But then where would I go to get away from my wife?", "c": ["Health Inspector"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Lenny, you don't have to hide that rat. Off you go, little fella.", "c": ["Health Inspector"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "My pop would buy me a malted for every tooth of Moe's I knocked out. That time you blinded me, he gave you a bike.", "c": ["Health Inspector", "Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "That sure was a good-soundin' bike...", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Oh my God, he's dead. Okay, which one of you guys parked in front of the hydrant?", "c": ["Barflies"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Uh, look, I didn't see nothin' here, okay? Just a bunch of innocent guys, sitting around, none of them dead.", "c": ["Barfly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Uh, well, ya see, trash day ain't 'til Wednesday, so...", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Chicken skins in soap dispenser... cigarette butts in the air... toilet on the roof...", "c": ["Health Inspector"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "'M' is for Moe, the owner of Moe's. 'O' is for the 'O' in the middle of Moe's.", "c": ["Barfly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "'E' is for acceptance. The feeling I always got here at Moe's.", "c": ["Barfly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "I can't go to a gay bar-- I'm too fat.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "No one's ever trusted me before-- except for that one guy who shouldn't have. That was me. Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Marge! How dare you open a letter addressed to both of us!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "That's because I hate her.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Nor a wife, a friend, a chum, a casual acquaintance, a pen pal, a parrot, a meaningful conversation, a brief hug or eye contact.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "And they've blocked my number.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "How many cigars are they allowed to have? Bart sleeps in the microwave, right?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "How many magic beans should I sell the baby for? Three? That's me, jerk-ass Homer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Well... as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "And I ain't changin' it for any dame, skirt, Susie-Q or face-macer.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Hey, hold the phone. An English pub-- that just might work. In song... My bar could be British Instead of arm-pittish, so why don't we all... Eh, screw it.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "My first credit card. Wow, the numbers are all bumpy-like.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Marge Simpson and Moe Szyslak, here's a mash note to your bangers-- I wish you could live in me forever.", "c": ["Food Critic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Just what are you inferring? I'm not inferring anything. You infer. I imply. Whew, that's a relief.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Ah, yes, Detroit-style. Very nice.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "You and I are... marriage friends.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Cards! 52 jokers playing the game of their lives.", "c": ["Movie Trailer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Hey, Jack, you got any twos? You can't handle the twos!", "c": ["Movie Characters"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge told me. We share everything. You do?", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Can I learn it at a happy place?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Ooh, get her a Life Magazine from the week she was born. I'll always treasure mine.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Cuckold! Cuckold! Cuckold! What's a cuckold?", "c": ["Crowd", "Child"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Safety instructions are two dollars. If you require wheelchair assistance, you picked the wrong airline.", "c": ["Flight Attendant"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm just excited because they're showing an episode of Boy Meets World on this flight. Oh no, wait. That's only on flights from Europe. We just get that little plane.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Simpson, you were going a hundred in a 25 zone, and you're not gonna flirt your way outta this one.", "c": ["Police Chief"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Really? Well, why didn't you say so? Let's roll! You didn't work this hard to save my marriage.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Time for some shuba-duba in Aruba.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "That sounds like Homer. No it isn't. I don't hear nothin'. You're crazy. Get outta here. Will you marry me?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Homer! How'd you get in here? Toilet hole.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "What's her favorite food? Ice? Wrong! It's buttered noodles. He's right.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "At least I had a couple of sips from your Coke when you went to the bathroom.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "At least I had a couple of sips from your Coke when you went to the bathroom.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "You're my Homie-womie-romie-domie. And you're my Margie-wargie-bargie fargie-gargie-margie-targie-largie.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "I may have dodged a bullet here.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Know-it-all bitch.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Listen, I got to tell you, I chew in my sleep. Yeah, well, I sweat blood.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Who's watching the kids? Are you sure Mom and Dad want us to enter a European balloon race? Sure. Why not?", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 7, "et": "Mommie Beerest"}, {"t": "Aren't you that crazy Cat Lady? Yes, I am. But thanks to this psychoactive medication, I enjoy brief moments of lucidity. Those are just Reese's Pieces.", "c": ["Marge", "Cat Lady", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Oh, I've only got a hundred dollars. I better bid shrewdly. First up is this video camera. One hundred dollars! $100 and 50 cents! Sold! Damn it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.19, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Check it out, Fat-wad! I'm better than you, and I'm only ten. Fat-wad! I love it!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I'm number one! I beat my son! Victory is mine, so kiss my behind!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "My son flips frogs like a girl! Yeah! A-boo, a-bah, a-who's your daddy?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Homer, do fries come with that shake? Sure do.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "He makes me look cool. And cool I am not.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Boxer shot by wife. Beauty pageant diarrhea. Here's a new one: Big-ass Baryshnikov.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Look at the American computer monkey! Dance-a, monkey, dance! Basta, basta. Take-a my picture with the Internet marmaluke-a!", "c": ["Italian tourist"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.55, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "The Internet wasn't created for mockery. It was supposed to help researchers at different universities share data sets. It was.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I played the gentle giant, 'Stay-off-drugs-ia.'", "c": ["Deion Overstreet"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "'L' is for 'loser' Which describes you, sir Don't try to stop me Just enjoy the view, sir. 'The view, sir.' Then show ass. Got it.", "c": ["Homer", "Deion"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Don't forget showboating. That's the cornerstone of my 'Pyramid of Success.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Grandpa, will you take me fishin'? Sorry, Jimmy, your Grandma and I are going to go have old-people sex.", "c": ["Jimmy", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Daddy, if Cain and Abel were Adam and Eve's only children, how did they make more babies? Did they make babies with their mother? Or with each other?", "c": ["Rod or Todd Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Your mouth is hopin' for a soapin', boy. Now stop asking silly questions and go kill your brother!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "You're going down, you potato-eatin' pansy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I happen to know that the person inside that leprechaun suit is a single mother.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Deion, this is Timmy Thomas. He has Timmy Thomas disease.", "c": ["Homer", "Timmy Thomas"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Lenny, can I move you from Wednesday at noon to Sunday at 6:00? Homer, you know that's when I play with neighborhood dogs.", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "What the... Oh, I get it.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "It turned me from an atheist to a hurray-theist!", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I would pay to see it again and again and again and again, but not six times.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Here's some guy's wallet. I am that guy!", "c": ["Random person", "Wallet owner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "And I've been looking for a way to launder the money I made selling club soda as flu vaccine.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "He left out all the good times Cain and Abel had when they were growing up.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "And sexy! King David stole someone else's wife, Mary Magdalene was a hooker...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I didn't know you could talk!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but I do not understand English. Wait a second. I've read that you speak excellent English. Shut up, kid. I got a good thing going here.", "c": ["LeBron James", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Oh, I already do, if by 'razzle' you mean 'piety' and by 'dazzle' you mean 'Scriptural accuracy.'", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "What a tool.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. I killed a baby. I'm a monster!", "c": ["King Solomon actor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I guess you'd rather see a film about a liberal European wizard school or the latest sexcapade of Miss Ashley Judd.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I guess you'd rather see a film about a liberal European wizard school or the latest sexcapade of Miss Ashley Judd.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Solar. Hydroelectric. A mix of conservation and wind. Who told you about those? A talking tree in a commercial.", "c": ["Protestors", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Tonight, the Clipper and the Stripper, a Jones that's Chipper, and did Joe Torre shoot Flipper?", "c": ["Sports anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "This is either about me or steroids.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I'm the worst thing to happen to sports since Fox.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Maybe he can tell me how to get this off. It soaked through to the other side.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Plus, we're making millions in player fines, which I'm going to use to bankroll a musical about The J. Geils Band!", "c": ["Football Commissioner"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "You suckers! I would've done it for free! Fine, do it for free. Damn it! Well, I'll still do it. Suckers. I would've paid you. Fine, pay us! Oh, damn it! Will you take a check? No! Damn it!", "c": ["Homer", "Commissioner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "You suckers! I would've done it for free! Fine, do it for free. Damn it! Well, I'll still do it. Suckers. I would've paid you. Fine, pay us! Oh, damn it! Will you take a check? No! Damn it!", "c": ["Homer", "NFL officials"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "...to the marriage of PacMan and Ms. PacMan in Super Bowl XVI...", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Oh, every single Super Bowl halftime show has been great", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I'm like Michael Moore, except I'm skinny, my jeans are washed, and God loves me.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Have you tried checking the oil filter?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Yeah. You help me, and I, in turn, am helped by you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "and it's scheduled for demolition early next month. America's priorities are a joke.", "c": ["Sports announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "But don't stop watching. In the second half, points count double.", "c": ["Sports announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "How could you afford this? I hustled a lot of pool. Uh, hey, you want to play? I got to warn you, I ain't that good.", "c": ["TV announcer", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I left the People's Republic for this?", "c": ["Michelle Kwan"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "You try to raise your kids as secular humanists, but these showbiz types keep shoving religion down our throats!", "c": ["Angry parent"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Omelets for dinner? This is the best day of my life. Really? Didn't you just sign a $90 million contract? That was a good day, too.", "c": ["Deion", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "I should've just sent a crocodile into space like I originally planned.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Omelets for dinner? This is the best day of my life. Really? Didn't you just sign a $90 million contract? That was a good day, too.", "c": ["LeBron James", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 8, "et": "Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass"}, {"t": "Where's the remote? This is not a drill, people.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Hmm, the TV changes channels every time the dog barks. We return to Mel Gibson's The Salad of the Christ on Christian Carrot Theater.", "c": ["Homer", "TV"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "I think he swallowed the remote. Barf for your master.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Lousy American-made dog.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Why must I be so voluptuous?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Yo, yo, yo. Here now the nizzews. The top artists in hip-hop are coming to Springfield.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Da Glock Pointaz, Romeo Smoov, Queen Booty Shaykah, M.C. Champagne Millionaire, and Assault Weapons magazine's Man of the Year, Alcatraaaz", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Just what we need-- another lame suburban kid who loves rap. So? You like the blues. Yes, but the blues are unpopular.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Rappers stopped saying 'illin'' 12 years ago. I'm keepin' it real. They stopped saying 'keepin' it real' three years ago.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Dad, can I go to a rap concert? Tickets are $50. Go to hell. Okay, what if I pay for it myself? Fine, go nuts.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "I love you, Dad. I love you too, Jerry.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "It encourages punching, boastfulness, and rudeness to hos.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Step off, Mom. Rap is the poetry of the streets. Well, you are not going to any concert that promulgates stink talk.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "promulgates stink talk", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "You did it on the straight Got your dad's permission But your mom dropped a bomb So I flipped my position Don't argue with Marge, I know what's best The only rap in this crib keeps sandwiches fresh", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Dad, you completely sold me out.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Well, I paid for this ticket. That makes me an adult. I'm going.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Every miner '49er and stone-cold conniver Stakes a claim on my tongue to pan my saliva Make the hos drop they clothes like they Lady Godiva", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "You can trace my remorse to its supersized source A hungry, hungry hypocrite named Homer, of course My old man's pathetic Damn, is his head thick The gas from his ass is carcinogenic Every day I pray his DNA ain't genetic", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Yo, B, I heard you throw down on stage. Wanna join my world tour? Sorry, Fiddy. I have school tomorrow. You're right-- the more you know, the further you'll go. And that's one to grow on.", "c": ["50 Cent", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Here you go, you little yellow cracker. Now let's go murder our enemies. Peace.", "c": ["50 Cent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "If that's true, he's gonna be like NWA-- Not Without Ass-welts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Well, time to face my punishment like a man. Or... lie my way out of it like a kid.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "'Follow instructions'? He's doomed.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "This'll be the worst Thanksgiving dinner ever. Thanksgiving's not for months. The bad news keeps on coming.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Tragedy climbed a ladder last night As 10 year old Bart Simpson was snatch from his bed. His chocolate-milk dreams cut short by kidnapping themes.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Mrs Simpson, is the pain so unbearable you wish your son had never been born?", "c": ["News reporter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "It's: 'win a hawa\u00efan getaway week on channel 6.' So, mail in those pineapple stickers today. Aloha means 'one entry per person.'", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Chief, seriously. Shouldn't we just plan for the funeral? Hey, I crack cases all the time. Like the case of the symphony conductor who murdered his star cellist. That was an episode of Columbo, Chief.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "They show you who the bad guy is at the beginning of each one. Yeah, but you have to remember.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Bart. Are the kidnappers after you? Well, some kidnappers might be after me. It's a big world. But in this case, I faked the whole thing.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Well, some kidnappers might be after me. It's a big world.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "In my dad's apartment, the heat is always off. He made a coat out of all my stuffed animals.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Shoo. Get out of here. These aren't your soybeans.", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Wigum sleeps through riot, Top cop surrenders to backfiring car, Firemen rescue police chief from tree, Commission: Wiggum sucks", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Together, they really paint a picture... of failure.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "My fat grew over my badge.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Set? Are you the character or the actor who plays him? Now I must go... Wait a minute, now you're a ghost? Avenge me.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Barney Fife"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "You can use any section of the paper. Except Metro. It's a big snooze.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "We have a lab? Yeah, it's that room we keep the Christmas decorations in.", "c": ["Lou", "Wiggum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Hail falling on a tin roof? No. That's it! Stovetop popcorn. And it sounds like my favorite brand Chintzy-Pop!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Oh, Chintzy-Pop is the worst legal popcorn. Many of the kernels are baby teeth.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Drop the corn, tightey-whitey!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "There's no need for you to defend your captor, Bratty Hearst.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Taking your tombstone back to the store will be the happiest thing I've ever done.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "You're 'Worried In West Springfield?' Not any more, Chief. Not any more.", "c": ["Lou", "Wiggum"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Bart, two, three, four! You put my Dad in jail, flip, spin, twirl!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "I wasn't scared, I was just peeing.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Boys, even though I've been made Police Commissioner, don't think I've forgotten you. Lou, you're promoted to Chief of Police. Sweet. Eddie, you're promoted to Lou. Nice. Who's gonna be Eddie? We don't need an Eddie.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Lou", "Eddie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "That kid can't understand where the world goes when you close the drapes.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Kirk, you are so dangerous and misunderstood! You've kidnapped my heart! I love the way I've heard of you!", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "What shirt? I don't see any shirt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Burn, truth, burn. Burn, truth, burn.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Our school's second most-wanted criminal after the mysterious El Barto?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "She'll hunt us down relentlessly like a bloodhound mixed with a student loan officer.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "I just printed up 10,000 business cards. How am I going to pass all these out before she catches me?", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Wait, before we go, I took the liberty of making these embroidered conspiracy jackets for all of us. Those jackets are beautiful. We must never wear them.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "I've got a 200-inch plasma TV. In my shoe closet.", "c": ["Alcatraaaz"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "This is hopeless. My gun isn't even loaded.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "I guess I'll go back to Baltimore and sell ribbon with my Daddy. Ribbon! Get your ribbon! Great for presents!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Coolee, coolee cool! C'mon, fool! Be coolee, coolee cool!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Others"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Do you think there's a place in the hip-hop world for a... 40-something elementary school administrator? Hell yes. But I'm already payin' a guy for that.", "c": ["Skinner", "Alcatraaaz"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "I think they're making fun of me, but my wife is very sick.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Do you think there's a place in the hip-hop world for a... 40-something elementary school administrator? Hell yes. But I'm already payin' a guy for that.", "c": ["Skinner", "Alcatraaaz"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 9, "et": "Pranksta Rap"}, {"t": "Some sucker will think he's getting beer, but he's really gonna get a face full of melon! Seedless melon!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Don't ruin the moment.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Easy, Barney. Easy. Remember the 12 steps. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Nice try, boys. Now, as the roadrunner said to the coyote, 'meep meep'!", "c": ["Howell Huser"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Sweet. Fresh meat. / Meat's not sweet. It's savory.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Why my favorite color is local.", "c": ["Howell Huser"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Radioactivity? That means it's a place where we do radio... activities.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "I'm happy to be exposed to that kind of radioactivity.", "c": ["Howell Huser"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Well, Howdy, little feller.", "c": ["Howell Huser"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "I can't wait till this is over!", "c": ["Howell Huser"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Finger pain? I thought I had gum comin'! That tears it! I've been smilin' for 47 years, and you two broke my streak!", "c": ["Howell Huser"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "My self-esteem sure didn't need that!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Yes, it's about Winston Churchill's life between the wars.", "c": ["Kitchen Wizard"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "a six out of ten.", "c": ["Howell Huser"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "They never buy my maps to stars' homes, anyway.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Stronger beer! Gladiator fights! Poetry slam! Giant rats!", "c": ["Various townspeople"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "What's in a martini? / Gin and vermouth. / And that makes a what? / A martini. / Never heard of it, but I'm still in favor of that same-sex marriage deal.", "c": ["Moe", "Unknown"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "We'll legalize gay money-- I mean, uh, gay marriage.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "A lean cuisini? / Wrong.", "c": ["Moe", "Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Gay-o, it's okay-o. Tie the knot and spend all your dough gay-o", "c": ["Commercial singers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Do not take the Jefferson avenue exit. For god's sake, do not take that exit.", "c": ["Commercial narrator"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "I cannot marry two people of the same sex anymore than I can put a hamburger on a hot dog bun.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Now, go back to working behind the scenes in every facet of entertainment!", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "whether they both have the same hoo-hoo or ha-ha.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Hey, I got to get in on this! These people have rights! The right to buy me a 62-inch tv!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Name.' 'Ho-mer Simp-son.' 'You are now an ordained minister.'", "c": ["Homer", "Computer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Ooh, a talking moose wants my credit card number. That's only fair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Photo mouse pads for sale out back.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Hmm, where's Lenny and Carl? / Don't you push them! They've got to work that out for themselves.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Opposite? Yechh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "What's that thing called when a guy is gay for a girl? / Straight. / Ooh, look at me! I'm as straight as a one dollar bill.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Do you, Cletus, take Brandine to be... wait a minute-- are you two brother and sister? / We's all kinda things!", "c": ["Homer", "Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Oh, Kent, not anything. It has to exist. / Or does it?", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "if you love the bible so much, why don't you marry it? In fact, I now pronounce you and the bible man and wife. And you're the wife!", "c": ["Homer", "Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "The blue being my pants.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "I used non-diseased meat from diseased animals.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Let me get my belt sander. Maybe I can grind the ugly off your face.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Her name's Veronica. / But Veronica's a girl's name. / Did you know that?", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge, here's another bomb: I like beer.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Marge, I'd be a lot more worried about me leaving you for a sausage Patty than your sister Patty.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "You could see it from space, Marge.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Smells like cheeseburgers. / Give it back!", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Is this one of those reality deals where a guy gets a million bucks for marrying aunt Patty, but they have to honeymoon in a box full of snakes?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "You've reached FOX. If you're pitching a show where gold-digging skanks get what's coming to them, press one. If you're pitching a rip-off of another network's reality show, press two.", "c": ["FOX operator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Your half-baked ideas are all we've got.", "c": ["FOX operator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Correction. The first blimp who got her pregnant.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "I thought we played this stupid game to get away from the women. With the yak, yak, yak and the spend, spend, spend. Am I right?", "c": ["Male golfer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "With the yak, yak, yak and the spend, spend, spend. Am I right?", "c": ["Male golfer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "I'll bet that's how angels cough.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "You act all liberal, but you can't handle it when your sister finds love in her own locker room.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Disco Stu just got an annulment from John Paul Two. Boogie down!", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "She's a man. / Looks like Patty's gonna get something she didn't register for.", "c": ["Homer", "Selma"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "At last I have found the yin to my yin.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "You think everyone in the world should have a big dumb man like you!", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "I can see why you lied to other golfers, caddies, fans and officials, but how could you lie to me and the sponsors?", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Hell no, I like girls!", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Just because you're a lesbian, it doesn't make you less of a bein'.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "There never was a jigsaw puzzle. I was trying to make you jealous. / Hey, wanna go to the airport and leave a bag unattended?", "c": ["Selma", "Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Hey, wanna go to the airport and leave a bag unattended? It is a good way to meet security personnel.", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 10, "et": "Theres Something About Marrying"}, {"t": "Happy 3:00 in the morning, everyone. In a mere five hours, we'll be gazing at Springfield's most exciting glacier, Springfield Glacier.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Hey, check out my T-shirt. It's wicked relevant. It's part of my 'Things Suck' line of clothing.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "So, Lise, ready for your trip? - Sure am. See ya next fall.", "c": ["Otto", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.74, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "You make those same stupid jokes every field trip. You work in the business as long as I have, you're bound to repeat yourself. See ya next fall.", "c": ["Lisa", "Otto"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "So, Edna, I wrote up some possible discussion topics for this trip. Oh, here's one. I'm still in love with you. Discuss?", "c": ["Seymour", "Edna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Our romance is in the history books and there's nothing worth highlighting.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "The Skin-man doesn't give up that easily.", "c": ["Seymour"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm in Fitzcarraldo. That movie was flawed.", "c": ["Seymour", "Edna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "What happened to the glacier? It's nearly melted. This must be due to global warming. Young lady, the federal government's position on global warming is that it does not exist. The glacier's doing just fine.", "c": ["Lisa", "Park Ranger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "I have a little girl just like you at home. That's where she stays-- at home.", "c": ["Park Ranger"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, I just love it here. So many things, and so many things of each thing.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Grandpa, you're a greet grater. I mean a great greeter. Now look who's senile.", "c": ["Marge", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "No... ...mes.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, Dad. How I'll miss your cap, your walking stick, your plaster base. I'm down here, you idiot.", "c": ["Homer", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "No. They're helpless without a greeting. Look at 'em.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Make me proud. Or at least less ashamed.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get a glacier postcard and send it to my nana. She'll be like, 'No way.' Score.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "I'm going to exchange this beach towel I bought at Sequoia National Park. I learned too late that it implied tumescence.", "c": ["Seymour"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "If these wise warriors could speak, what would they tell us? They left a message right here. Actually carved into the rock.", "c": ["Seymour"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Nice work, Simpson. Feel free to make a rubbing.", "c": ["Museum Guide"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Welcome to Sprawl-Mart. Pimple cream in aisle five. Buenos nachos. Ask about our 'se\u00f1or' discount. Hey, Rabbi. Jesus loves ya. Just kidding.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Son, you are on fire. A million times better than that worthless old coot you replaced. That coot happens to be my father. Please continue.", "c": ["Manager", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "That coot happens to be my father. Please continue.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "How would you like to be a full-time Sprawl-Mart greeter? Is there a chance for advancement? - No. Whoo-hoo. No pressure.", "c": ["Manager", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Dying alone, huh? Terrible fate to befall any woman-- Ice Age or modern day.", "c": ["Seymour"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "So, is there a Mrs. Park Ranger Johnson? No, ma'am. I'm married to the glacier. But, uh, it's an open marriage. Then bring it, fool.", "c": ["Edna", "Park Ranger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, for goodness sake. You've moved on, have you? Well, so have I.", "c": ["Seymour"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Just play along.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "The only gas is coming from Lisa's butt.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Hey, whoever's doing that, get off the frequency. We're combing the woods. There's a killer loose out here. Let him do it, Chief. It lightens the mood.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Help. I'm sinking in the lake. You mean, you're walking on the glacier. Whatever.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Check it out. That frog has a nerd on its butt.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "What are you gonna do, tell Mom and Dad? They're powerless figureheads.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Hey, there's a dog in the next car lookin' at me. Hey, dog.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Good morning, world. Eat my shorts. There'll be no shorts eaten today, young man.", "c": ["Bart", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Restraining order? Bull spit. No piece of paper keeps me from whaling on my sister.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "The clerk also gave me this bench warrant for Dad's arrest. Aw, damn it.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Hey, I don't make the laws, I just... something with them.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm Gary Busey.", "c": ["Gary Busey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, man, I've been there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Never say die. Quitters never prosper. And No means yes.", "c": ["Gary Busey"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Joe is me. And Mary is a composite of 12 different women and a small independent film company, all of whom couldn't deal with me, because I'm too real.", "c": ["Gary Busey"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Don't worry, son. No one's going to make you count to 20.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "It'll keep your pole looking great, poke after poke after poke. Poke.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Homer, why did you put the screwdriver at the end? Show you what it's like in the real world.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "A.M. kindergarten made the Bart doll. P.M. kindergarten made the Lisa.", "c": ["Seymour"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "The smell is manure, and the dripping's manure.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "But we're already on chapter seven. Then you'll be teaching Willie.", "c": ["Bart", "Willie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "The only cure is this anti-poking potion. Oops, missed the vein. Dang, missed it again.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Sorry, I'm distracted. My housekeeper is suing me for sexual harassment. She hung the mistletoe. What was I supposed to do?", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "'Don't have a cow, man.' Yeah, he's all... 'Cowabunga, dude.' I mean, what's that mean? Nothing, I bet.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "If you don't, we'll ship you right back to Mexico. But I'm a U.S. citizen. How sure of that are you?", "c": ["Manager", "Apu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "My sister has no sense of humor. I'm sure you understand. It's why you became a judge instead of finding a husband.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "My sister has no sense of humor. I'm sure you understand. It's why you became a judge instead of finding a husband.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "I have a husband. What is he, blind and deaf?", "c": ["Judge", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "That's 61 meters. Sacr\u00e9 bleu.", "c": ["French person"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Why should I go inside? The world is my toilet now.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "I slept on the grill.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "I've never worked all night, never. And I worked at an all-night diner for three years. I slept on the grill.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "That's it, mister. I am disgruntled. And up until now, I was relatively gruntled.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "And with no brain damage-amage-amage-amage-amage-amage.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Homer, we took our chips out years ago. Really? Then why do you still work here? We've learned to accept the things we cannot change... and steal everything that's not nailed down.", "c": ["Apu", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "We've learned to accept the things we cannot change... and steal everything that's not nailed down.", "c": ["Sprawl-Mart employees"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Well, I mean, it's a little American-primitive, but who am I to dismiss outsider art?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Are you putting feces on the tip? No, I'm giving it up.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, man. This is every effigist's worst nightmare.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Well, you see, the fire represents... your musical ability?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "Oh, Bart, I missed your lies.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 11, "et": "On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister"}, {"t": "You drove in with three people on your grill.", "c": ["DMV Employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "At least I'm out doing things.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "This car is cooler than Guy Lombardo.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Good heavens, she's some sort of female madman!", "c": ["DMV Employee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Stop that, you want-wit! I might get stung by a bumbled-bee.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Car! - Car what? Car is the subject, but I don't know the verb.", "c": ["Patty/Selma", "DMV Employee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Those are my lungs!", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["misdirection", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Son, menopause is when the stork that brings babies gets shot by drunken hunters.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "What do you know. She's out of eggs, and if you're watching this, so are you.", "c": ["Robert Wagner (video)"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "So let's all give menopause a round of men-applause!", "c": ["Robert Wagner (video)"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.96, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "'Men-applause'? I'm not saying that.", "c": ["Robert Wagner (video)"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "I didn't want to get pregnant and lose my looks.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "All he can do is eat me when I'm dead.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "I'm not dead, idiot. I know. That was for the other patients.", "c": ["Selma", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "This is one problem damaged food can't solve.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Wow, you really are down.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "That foot's not dead. It's just asleep.", "c": ["Adoption Worker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "From now on, we're a Skoal family.", "c": ["Prospective Father"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "What she said was, she's tired of having rabies.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Give me back my belly fruit!", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Give me back my belly fruit!", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Great, another job lost to a foreigner.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "No 'hen without cock.'", "c": ["Chinese Official"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "I apologize if that is a double-entendre in your language. It is not in ours.", "c": ["Chinese Official"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Oh, I just felt a chill go through my very soul.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Yeah, those Sloppy Joes will do that.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "And how about me getting off work by saying I'm teaching math skills to inner city youths?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Yes, there are many kinds of heroes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Oh, you are a very greedy man. The other dragons shall hear of this.", "c": ["Dream Dragon"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Hey, dragon! You fly like a girl!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "You name it, oh, wise mountain ape.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "The man who broke a dragon's heart...", "c": ["Dream Dragon"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "But, Marge, I don't want her to be happy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Okay, don't do it for her. Deal! - Do it for me.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "'Cause your sweet love is the one thing that saved my life from being an unmitigated disaster.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Ha-ha! Now we're even!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "It makes the Lincoln Memorial look like crap.", "c": ["Pilot"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "And this is Marge, our surprisingly hot nanny.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Don't mention it, Miss... October.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "But don't look at her passport-- it's different.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "You can wave your arms at them and make funny faces, and they just have to stand there and take it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Homer, no, stop; you're thinking of Buckingham Palace!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "He's like a little angel that killed 50 million people.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "With these pogo sticks, we'll finally make it over.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Can't make it Monday. My kid has a thing.", "c": ["Chinese Acrobat"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "I'm a Chinese acrobat!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Well, Tibet was considered 'pretty independent.' How'd that work out?", "c": ["Madame Wu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Such loving discipline. Maybe someday, someone will love you too, childless servant.", "c": ["Madam Wu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Why doesn't Pearl Jam ever come here?!", "c": ["Chinese Citizen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Then why am I seeing rudimentary free markets?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "No, a porcupine snuck in while you were asleep. Go on, shoo! Come back in year of porcupine. Which is never!", "c": ["Chinese Doctor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Without him, I wouldn't have you.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "How'd you like a little time with 'Miss October'?", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on Wu!", "c": ["Madame Wu"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Wow, the fortune cookies here really are more accurate.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Just think about the day you found that Junior Mint in your belly button.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Feng shui? I thought that was just a trick to sell crappy end tables to the West.", "c": ["Chinese Guard"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Feng shui? I thought that was just a trick to sell crappy end tables to the West.", "c": ["Chinese Official"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Let's cut him in chunks and worship the chunks.", "c": ["Chinese Guard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Plus, we get free apple, orange and grapefruit juice.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "This is Wang Pu's time to shine.", "c": ["Wang Pu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "The Heimlich maneuver was invented the very next day.", "c": ["Madame Wu"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "As a spoiled American teenager.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Feast on my shorts, stupid father man.", "c": ["Chinese Bart"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "American jerks are going home", "c": ["Chinese Dragon Singers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "When we wake, the world will end.", "c": ["Chinese Dragon Singers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 12, "et": "Goo Goo Gai Pan"}, {"t": "Why don't we top it off by reading to old people?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Well, I think in these days of petro-terrorists and ozone depletion, a Sunday drive reeks of bio-hubris.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Can't I get a cup of coffee without doing a monkey dance for you freaks? The fishing hat means leave me alone!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Always nice to see him.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "I cleaned out the garage and lost 50 pounds.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "It seems a shame to chuck out these cross-country skis.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Stupid spider! Afraid of dying?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Spider poison is people poison?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "I learned CPR while waiting for other kids to finish their math tests.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Who put those spiders in my mouth?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Don't worry, if I croak, you'll marry Lenny... or Moe. The winner will be determined by a card game I invented.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Have you ever had a heart attack? Haven't we all?", "c": ["Insurance Agent", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Strokes? None. No, wait, three. Since the last one, I don't remember so good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Shh! I want her to think I'm cool!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "My hemophilia!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Don't thank me. Thank our many debts and obligations.", "c": ["Roger"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "You should have thought of that before you had children with a dead man.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "The real Brenda later went to Harvard Medical School.. As a cadaver.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "You just have to assemble it yourself.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "You mean when the big tuna goes belly-up?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "I paid a bundle for overnight delivery.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Okay, I'll just hire a haulage firm to cart them away... at my expense!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "No, a whole team of lawyers, who will dine on mustard flown in from the Orient.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "People died in those shirts.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Drinking beer out of a thermos like an animal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Last year, you spent $5,000 on donuts, $2,000 on scalp massages, $500 on body glitter...", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "You waltz in there at 10:30, take a nap on the toilet, then sit around Googling your own name until lunch.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "You shouted it while we were making love.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "I invented some kind of stove.", "c": ["Benjamin Franklin"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Well, I invented a Popsicle made of Mountain Dew.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "I spent our savings on the down payment for a motor home.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "I need a castle where I can be king!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "That's my half-assed dad.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "You're a bread compartment!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "You can wear swimsuits instead of underwear!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "We use jokes to mask our pain at the death of our son.", "c": ["RV Owner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "I have a backyard that makes my front yard look like an idiot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "If my wife asks, you're here for a Boz Skaggs concert.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "This is a house!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "I know another place you can go! To sleep.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "It's not golden brown, it's not brown, it's not nothin'.", "c": ["RV Owner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "That's no marriage bed. It's a loveless slab of bossiness!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "You hide food in my hair.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "No. I don't see Dad doing all that paperwork.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "That was my Woodstock!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Duh! It's Kamper Kong.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Tie me to the Kong and cut its tethers.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "It was more than a motor home. It was a car I could go to the bathroom in.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "This is a parent's worst nightmare! They've stolen a car and they're home alone.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Dino-- short for dinosaur? Remember to ask Jeeves.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "When I was a kid, my mom would give me an empty egg carton and I'd pretend it was a spaceship to the moon. You'll never guess what I used for astronauts.", "c": ["Random Driver"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "French it up, lover boy!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "And we must get these Season One Northern Exposure DVDs to Kahramanmaras.", "c": ["Turkish Captain"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Bring back our children, you Cyprus-splitting jerks!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "It is a shame you dress like a Lebanese prostitute.", "c": ["Turkish Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Water damage-- can't be returned. I win again!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Dude, she seemed tense, so we put a little hashish in her meal.", "c": ["Turkish Sailor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "Which came first, turkey the bird or Turkey the you guys?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 13, "et": "Mobile Homer"}, {"t": "They have a store that just sells shoes. I feel like I'm in Paris!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "All plays suck, all the time, and always will, and everyone knows it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "We'll go see a play... that Lisa doesn't want to see.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "the Three Dollar Bills in Gay, Gay, Gay!", "c": ["Narrator/Sign"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "We're home to Christian, Muslim and Jew / Although not many of the last two.", "c": ["Shelbyville Singer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "There's a girl for every guy / Birthplace of the button fly", "c": ["Shelbyville Singer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "The only thing lower than our humidity are the greens fees on our public golf course. Which one? - All three!", "c": ["Shelbyville Residents"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "I came here for the legalized gambling. But Springfield Billy, we don't have legalized gambling here. Sure you do. I saw a bumper sticker that said 'Free Tibet.'", "c": ["Springfield Billy", "Shelbyville Resident"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "They're saying Springfielders are stupid hicks. It's like lookin' in a mirror. What's a mirror? It's a big city word for reversifyin' glass.", "c": ["Springfield Residents"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "This is the worst crisis the Springfield Cultural Activities Board has ever faced.", "c": ["Cultural Board Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "show them we're more than just a town that's still afraid of eclipses. God steals sun : Mayor offers sacrifices", "c": ["Cultural Board", "Newspaper Headline"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Hey, how 'bout we open a fancy restaurant, and when people check their hats and coats, we steal 'em?", "c": ["Criminal Board Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Why do you come to these meetings? Free water.", "c": ["Board Member", "Snake"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Think, Marge, think. Culture... vulture... birds of prey... pray in a church... the Father, Son and Holy Ghost... ghosts are scary... scary rhymes with Gehry!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "They're playing Gustav Mahler in abject squalor.", "c": ["Cultural Board Member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Little help? Next time we're keeping it.", "c": ["Musicians"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "we were the first city in America to abandon the metric system.", "c": ["Marge in letter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "You wrote I was 'the bestest architect in the world'? Well, aren't you?", "c": ["Gehry", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "All in favor of building a $30 million 'screw you' to Shelbyville?", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Yo, Frank Gehry! Like curvi-linear forms much?", "c": ["Skateboarder"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Dad, Snowball's not fat. She's just got winter fur. Okay, she's fat.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Can't breathe... Someone dangle some string.", "c": ["Snowball"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "So? We already heard the 'dum dum dum dum.' The rest is just filler.", "c": ["Springfieldian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "I thought this was gonna be the soundtrack to the movie Beethoven. Was I sadly mistaken.", "c": ["Audience Member"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "The next piece is an atonal medley by Philip Glass.", "c": ["Conductor"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "We change the name of the town to escape our creditors. Lima, Peru! Gotham City! Wiggumville! Burger King!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Citizens"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Make it seven!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Cool, but I'll never pass with this. I better switch samples.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "I haven't seen so many drugs in a wang since I ran a Chinese opium den!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Crack, smack, uppers, downers, outters, inners, horse tranquilizers, cow paralyzers, blue bombers, green goofers, yellow submarines, LSD Mach 3", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Well, there must have been a mistake. My body is a temple.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Guards, remove this coked-out man-balloon from my sight!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "But he misread my pee! He misread my pee!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "I'd rather follow the dog. I think he's up to something.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "This is worse than when we thought Mom was having an affair. Turned out she was just going to the library to cry.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "We need more convicts in the dungeonarium. Dungeonarium. That's catchy.", "c": ["Burns", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "It's unlawful for a man to be hatless during daylight hours.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Five kicks of the same can shall be considered illegally transporting litter.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "We're puttin' you away, Kicky Mantle.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "And give that can the whole CSI treatment. You know, lab tests, weird lights, shots from the can's point of view.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Lots of flash and no meaning.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "I'm sick of you positing an alternate reality!", "c": ["Prison Guard"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "No Frank Gehry-designed prison can hold me!", "c": ["Prisoner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Really? You mean eat cheese, gnaw through electrical cords, things like that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Well, I am a sucker for a little hat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Well, I would like to survive long enough to see the effects of global warming. I've got an inside tip that it's all a bunch of crap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Sometimes I go to movies alone.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "G.M.S.: Galactic Mystery Solvers. The only mystery we couldn't solve was how not to grow up.", "c": ["Prisoner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Solitary confinement? But without my weekly canasta, I'll die. It's-it's my raison d'\u00eatre.", "c": ["Tattoo Prisoner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "And for your information, our walls have a bunch of dead raccoons in them, but we are saving up the money to find them.", "c": ["Other Family"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "C'mon, Smokey, do your Smokey shuffle.", "c": ["Other Family"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "You toyed with my heart like it was a toy heart.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "we must determine which of our fellow inmates has become the Rodentus Incarcerarium.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "I ain't the rat; I'm the pigeon. I thought you was the mole. No, you're thinking of that guy who was the canary. But we can all agree, we work in a business with a very rich lexicon.", "c": ["Prisoners"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Rich lexicon, very rich.", "c": ["Prisoner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Sure, they're on top of the world. Then there's a big riot scene. Then... I don't know. I usually doze off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "What are you dopes looking at? You've never seen bling-bling before?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "My baby turtle crawled into your basement window. Oh, you poor boy. What's your turtle's name? Apron Boobs-face?", "c": ["Bart", "Other Family Mother"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "And what's your name? Shoes... Butt-back?", "c": ["Other Family Mother", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Are biographies arranged by author or subject?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "You forgot to take some brownies. Thanks, Mother Dexter!", "c": ["Other Family Mother", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Something don't feel right. Usually when there's a jailbreak, there's electricity in the air, like the calm before a summer storm. Or, right before a heavyweight fight. Mine's more poetic.", "c": ["Guards"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "I call the balls of his feet!", "c": ["Prisoner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "I only did what I had to do to survive... in a style befitting a French monarch.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "This red glow is the heat from a pack of inmates who are desperately looking for prison snitch, Homer Simpson-- this massive blob over here-- who is attempting to hide in the kitchen", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Oh, you must be Michael's dad!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Tear gas, my one weakness.", "c": ["Prisoner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "This prison will make Abu Ghraib look like the Four Seasons.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "They feed us horse meat, with traces of jockey meat!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "When I was a boy, I saw my father murdered before my eyes. By me.", "c": ["Prison Guard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "I'm releasing you all to a garbage barge, where you will bare-knuckle-box till one of you emerges as king of your floating hell.", "c": ["Governor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "No, Dad, you fell asleep in front of the TV, watching The Towering Inferno.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 14, "et": "The Seven Beer Snitch"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, there's your girlfriend.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.48, "im": 3.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, you love Moleman. No, you do. You're gay for Moleman! You're gay for Moleman!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "No one's gay for Moleman.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Don't you mean astronomy? No, my dear, I said astrology.", "c": ["Lisa", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "For years, you see, astrology was the Tampa Bay Devil Rays of the sciences... not so good.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Oh, it's so great. We can do anything now that scientists have invented magic.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Lisa, graduating two years early, and, Bart... graduating.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Well, maybe I was partying so hard with my single friends last night, I forgot the rules.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Could you please stop fighting in front of us? Why? Is it messing you up?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Stupid wildlife, serves 'em right.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "I've been turning him down for the prom since kindergarten.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "You relented at age 12 when he pulled you out of a house fire. Which you later found out he started.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Sorry I'm late, Lisa. I was at the gym, totally gunning my lats. Just gunning them.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "The deposit on this tux was 200 Reagans.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Bart, you're lookin' crook-ed. Hey, Jenda, how 'bout some forehead?", "c": ["Bart", "Jenda"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "That was jagged. when I was a kid we didn't show our affection by head-butting.", "c": ["Jenda", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Who knew that bio-engineered food would lead to smart puke?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "You think you're better than me, eh, puke?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "So, Nelson, who did you end up bringing tonight? Sherri or Terri? Uh, it didn't seem fair to choose.", "c": ["Unknown", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Welcome, seniors and sexually precocious underclassmen.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "I'd like to say good-bye to those who are going off to college, or to fight in Gulf War Five: 'Operation Find Our President's Head.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "That means no booze, kick, puff, doze, maxx, stim or turb.", "c": ["Kearney"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Remember, 'Stim Kills.' It's what turned Superintendent Chalmers into a vegetable.", "c": ["Kearney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Skinner. Skinner. Skinner.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "I can use the potty now.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry, Lisa. Sink activate. I love your dress. Soap activate.", "c": ["Jenda"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Yeah, even though McDonald's owns Yale now, it's still a great school.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, that's the thing he had to do as punishment for stealing Christmas. Yeah. I miss Christmas. I don't.", "c": ["Jenda", "Lisa", "Jenda"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Travel. Do you need a traveling companion, perchance? Travel canceled.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "I can fly. I can fly. Just kidding, I know I can't fly. I can glide, though.", "c": ["Limo Driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Sex on prom night is as American as our 51st state: Saudi-Israelia.", "c": ["Jenda"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "That's really sweet... but marriage is a three-year commitment.", "c": ["Jenda"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "You can waitress while I learn to cut meat. We'll live in a trailer, but to avoid paying for parking, I'll drive while you sleep. We'll never, ever stop.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "When? Just this minute.", "c": ["Jenda"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Here, you want some chicken? Just grab it with your hands, go ahead. We're not fancy here.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Son, sometimes people just grow apart, like me and your mom. No, Mom dumped you 'cause you blew all our money on this underwater house.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "She'll realize she was a fool, when... Hey! Come back with my patio furniture!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Stupid flounders.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Why'd you buy the first hover car ever made? Didn't you know it'd take time to work out the kinks? I know! It's a hover car!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "All right! You guys are my new best friends. You wish, loser!", "c": ["Homer", "Random people"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Celebrity Buttocks, Nipple Relocations and Fluffy Tails", "c": ["Background sign"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "You came from my back fat!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "You moron! Why did I ever think I needed a clone? Hey, I'm not the clone, you're the clone! Oh, please, not this again.", "c": ["Moe", "Moe Clone", "Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Want it to get weirder? I... don't think so.", "c": ["Edna", "Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "I wish I could talk to my fourth-grade self just once. I'd say 'Work hard, don't be such a screw up.' This time is so precious. Don't waste it.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Is that robot break-dancing? No. He activated his self-destruct mechanism.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "What Lisa's problem? Milhouse mother say Milhouse handsome!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Armpit noises are not a language. Oh, yeah?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "He's from Springfield. I think you know him. Krusty the Clown is dating your mom!", "c": ["Marge", "Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Yes, Mr. Gheet. I'm Anoop, you racist cracker!", "c": ["Boss", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Which one? Radioactive, smallpox, eternal midnight... No, no. The one with the uni-clams.", "c": ["Bart", "Boss"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Dude, this is totally not the time to call me. I don't know. Some kind of pasta. Look, just get me what you're having, all right? Not that. What soups do they have...?", "c": ["Criminal"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "My diamonds are going to be retro-morphed into coal... the most valuable substance on Earth.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Once I home-invaded this Princeton dude, and he was like totally married.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Mr. Smithers? I thought you were... you know... No, I'm straight. As long as I take these injections every ten minutes.", "c": ["Bart", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "I love boobies!", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "It's so great that Yale has finally forbidden men from taking science. Now let's see, should I major in Femistry or Galgebra?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "I mean, Hot Dog on a Stick Management Camp.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Why don't you mail it to your butt?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Bart, now that you've graduated I can finally say this: you really press my cider.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Listen, girls... I'm going out for a pack of cigarettes. Isn't that what your father said the day he left you? Yeah. I never understood why he did it... till now. I'm coming, Papa!", "c": ["Nelson", "Sherri/Terri", "Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "I'm not the first guy to get a nosebleed during a slow dance.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Is it because of my small calves? They're the hardest place to add mass!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "And now you're an emotionally crippled mini-Hulk.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Time to strike while the iron is sad!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "I never had this problem with Todd Flanders.", "c": ["Jenda"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Forget it. I had to sell all my marrow to pay the light bill.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "I didn't have much marrow.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Have you eaten onions lately? No. And it's really hard 'cause I'm on an all-onion diet.", "c": ["Lisa", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "Sorry, we're ghosts now. Our spirits live in those two trees. Or, maybe we're alive and we just feel like jerkin' you around. Or maybe we're one of each.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "And you will. At the age of 83. You die one minute later. And my brain is put in a... Pauper's grave.", "c": ["Professor Frink", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "You want me to attend the funeral of the Sultan of Brunei? Well, I would consider it my honor. Hey, Brandine, pack my evenin' britches. We's goin' to Brunei.", "c": ["Cletus", "Brandine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "You want me to attend the funeral of the Sultan of Brunei? Well, I would consider it my honor. Hey, Brandine, pack my evenin' britches. We's goin' to Brunei.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 15, "et": "Future Drama"}, {"t": "A: We are in an area very high pressure or B: God plays bowling.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "With the balls, bowling, shoe rental, very bad pizza cheese served in square shares.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Kent Sorry, I sold all my weather jokes to Jay Mohr.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "But I can make sounds funny in your microphone.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Hot Wheels to the rescue! The water comes from here pass line few turns S tight, the looping of death, and exit through lunge for mail.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "when you can not keep the roof over your family you're really a father.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "The teddy bear had survived three points of safety. But he did not survive you!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Oh, it's raining outside. It also rains inside!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "So what does Stephen Hawkins here? I live here now. I am the new owner the 'Little Caesar's' down the street. Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza.", "c": ["Homer", "Stephen Hawking"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Sorry, this button jammed.", "c": ["Stephen Hawking"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Surprise? What a surprise?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "I cook a cake in the shape of bar stool favorite Lenny and you destroy.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Who wants frosting ass? I do not thank you the regime of Dr. Atkins.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Finally, a bar for men who love drink, and watch sexy girls.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "You do not see the sign, perverse? It does not look at the enormous chests of our waitresses", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "I have not seen all cheese since I left my Billy Joel albums in the sun.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Any played by the jukebox. Ok 'Let me ca again Once is never enough...' The next song. Yes, that's what I meant. - Yes, absolutely.", "c": ["Homer", "Ray"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "You're right margin. I should look for a road in scenes open to poets, where yoga retreats.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Tape me five. I have values. I will tape five for nothing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "then we will make emmenera Bart C-I-R-C-O-N-C-I-R.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "One day this bowl is overflowing, and I will be there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Keep my dog? Until when? Not too long ago, until they die.", "c": ["Grampa", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "One, two, three, four. I declare war nails! That's why I'm embarked on the roof.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Ben if I had been, it would had children greatest.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "You know it's bad. It was also from that dog long as I can remember. What dog? - Who are you?", "c": ["Grampa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "How do you think I was going react when you painted it? More or less this way.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "How do you think I was going react when you painted it?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "His truck will turn at the intersection. Just. now! Now! Now! Now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "My heart, your friend Ray is in your head.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Ray is a Magini anagram of 'imaginary'. My subconscious is a genius.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "My subconscious is a genius.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "It was a rubber covered with Vaseline.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Real. Not real. Real. Sorry, but recent Homer Historical evidence shows Robin Hood that has not existed.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "I filed a tear in the texture of space-time combined with pieces of metal suspension has created a black hole. He intermediary between Homer and Bart, creating a gravitational lens which has absorbed light reflected by Ray.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "I filed a tear in the texture of space-time combined with pieces of metal suspension has created a black hole.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "It's easy, I'm an entrepreneur. It's true, you are all crooks. We are all crooks, it's true.", "c": ["Ray", "Homer", "Others"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Monday, 21h, on CBS. They say they love All this guy, but I am not freelance.", "c": ["Ray"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Monday at 21h. On CBS. What time? 21h. And if I want to look, what day? Monday. On Monday, 21h. And it's on the radio? No, it's on television.", "c": ["Homer", "Ray"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 16, "et": "Dont Fear The Roofer"}, {"t": "Something's coming this way, sergeant. Something big! Don't worry, men! It's time for the USA to win a war.", "c": ["Soldiers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "My God, it's a stapler!", "c": ["Soldier"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Today? Of course I know. Happy birthday... / It's not my birthday, Seymour. You know I'm a Sagittarius.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Really? I'm a Libra. We're very compatible. / Skinner, you can be gay on your own time.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "I expect it to be like cats and dogs in here. / Sir, the school has a strict policy against animals. I assume you're speaking hypothetically about cats and dogs?", "c": ["Chalmers", "Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Everyone loves gum machines. So why not a machine with okra soup gel?", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Does your school nurse treat burns? / No. / Couldn't be simpler!", "c": ["Vendor", "Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Kids want a snack that skateboards, doesn't clean its room, and hates homework. That's why we created Scammer and Z-Dog Scarfables!", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Hip-Hop slushies! Yeah, I saw those when my usual grocery store was on strike.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "It's like a school fundraiser wrapped in slang!", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "And a subliminal neuro-jammer disrupts the children's judgment.", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Very well. I assume these snacks are nutritious? / That's not our concern. The point is half the money goes to the school.", "c": ["Chalmers", "Vendor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Look at the ingredients! Hydrogenated oil... monoxide poison, weaponized plutonium?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Attention naive masses! These new snacks are filled with... processed sugar, industrial byproducts, and fattening acids!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Don't hate the flavors. Participate! / The machine is right. / Don't be a victim. Swallow snacks! / It's fun to obey the machine.", "c": ["Students", "Vending Machine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Good for you! You're 5 minutes away from a fantastic beverage or snack.", "c": ["Vending machine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "I'm out of money! Willie, want to buy my skateboard? / Why not? For once, everyone will look at Willie!", "c": ["Bart", "Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Look at me, I'm an American boy!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Stairs! / No! I don't... / Okay, I'm fine. / No! I spoke too soon! / Better now.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "What are you looking at, bastards!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Eat some. / No thanks. The vending machine at school feeds me now. / So I've been replaced by a machine?", "c": ["Marge", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Marge-bot ready for some loving!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Why did I give her a weapon?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "My heart... hurts so much. Like it's caught in a vise! / My little boy is in love. / I think he's having a heart attack!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Doctor, little kids shouldn't have heart attacks. They should scrape their knees and poke their eyes out and get strangled by cats.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "These dark spots are chocolates. / His liver looks healthy. / That's a wafer.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "I won't bury another patient! / Doctor, you're a pediatrician! / Yes, but my mind is elsewhere this year.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "I won't bury another patient! Doctor, you're a pediatrician!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "I SLEEP WITH YOUR WIFE", "c": ["Exercise machine display"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Bart, how can you laugh at this? You just had a heart attack. / Yes, but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Those were a lot of words. I need some energy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Hello kids! Heart disease can strike anyone. Like clowns who are alcoholics and smokers. That's why I had the doctor give me a zipper.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Hello kids! Heart disease can strike anyone. Like clowns who are alcoholics and smokers. That's why I had the doctor install a zipper.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "The zipper got stuck. Should have gone with buttons.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Disgusting! From what it looks like, this cheese has already been eaten.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "When people asked how you were, I'd say: At least he has his health. / Now you have nothing.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "It's graffiti you can eat! / Get well, son.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Today only, free milkshakes for ten-year-old boys. / Drink your weight in milkshake and win a milkshake!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Intervention! / What the hell? / Child, we're here to help you with... / Which addiction are we dealing with? / Gluttony.", "c": ["Family", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "So tired that the only thing that picks me up is smoking. / The only thing it does is bring me back to normal.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "eat my shorts, losers!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Guess how old I am. Come on, guess. / 47? / It hurts when people say higher. Still stings a little.", "c": ["Tab Spangler", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Maybe you mean 'tough love'? / Tough love? Of course, that never made sense. The guy who sold it to me lied. Stanley.", "c": ["Marge", "Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Tough love? Of course, that never made sense. The guy who sold it to me lied. Stanley.", "c": ["Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Thank you for the correction. It's part of honesty. I'll leave you with advice: Become emotionally dead. To your body. Make lots of friends.", "c": ["Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Kent Brockman, Channel 6 News. I ate while others did weather and sports. / Your fat is starting to spill into Channels 5 and 7. I hope you're not getting three salaries.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Kent Brockman, from Channel 6 News. I ate while others reported weather and sports. Your fat has started spilling into channels 5 and 7. Hope you're not getting three salaries.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "You old fatso! Can you cut back on your makeup expenses?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "I already use crayons for lipstick and coal for eyeliner. / So that's where all my coal went.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "So that's where all my charcoal went.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "$50? And who's going to pay for all the water used in your baths and showers and washing clothes? / We don't do that, no problem.", "c": ["Homer", "German tourists"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "While you put the spoon in the ice cream, tell it you hate it. Talk to it. What did you call me? What did the vanilla say? No, I'm not that old!", "c": ["Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "German tourists? You see, every family needs extra income... when they send a child like you to a place like mine.", "c": ["Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "They can't see or hear us, right? / We're not the Ghost of Christmas Past. They can see us. If I were invisible would I waste time wearing these clothes?", "c": ["Bart", "Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "So this is the little fatty eating strudel... who bankrupted them with his expensive treatments. Little fatty eating strudel. You should think about that.", "c": ["German tourist"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Problem #35 with America: No free healthcare. #36: No metric system. What are you, living in Charlemagne's time? Answer me. Answer me now.", "c": ["German tourist"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Here's your tip, baldy. If you want it, dance and sing.", "c": ["German tourist"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Great! More, more! They want me to do the rest. I hope he knows it.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "I'm to blame for everything. I'll never eat junk food again. I swear it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Bart, what are you doing here? I learned my lesson. But... you're still fat.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "When I went against the system, money came out. My boy! I know we didn't earn this honestly, but we can... Use it to kick them out? Yes.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Sorry, I think I left my belt here. No, you didn't leave it. Don't tell me I didn't leave it. This is my lucky belt. Big beautiful story.", "c": ["Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Why are you all looking at me? / I'm not too fat. I'm alive, aren't I?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Why are you all looking at me? I'm not too fat. I'm alive, aren't I?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "We can decide when we're standing naked over the bed. / My God, that's why you eat.", "c": ["Homer", "Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "We'll share a room. Where will I sleep? We can decide that when we're standing naked over the bed.", "c": ["Homer", "Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "Give me half. / I don't want to. / Just the cheese, not the meat. I want the meat. Take a bite. / Don't cut it. Give it all to me. You'll eat later. / You're a selfish pig. / Since I smelled it, I have to eat it. / But it's mine. / I'm driving, I'll kill us. / Fine, I'd rather die.", "c": ["Homer", "Tab Spangler"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 17, "et": "The Heartbroke Kid"}, {"t": "I was hoping we'd miss the 3:00 holdup.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "It's like a corn dog without the dog.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Put whatever you want in this burlap sack. / You may not. That's my baby carrier.", "c": ["Farmer", "Farmer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "This portobello mushroom eats like a steak. A rubbery, fungus-like steak.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Marge, I'm giving birth to a food baby.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.74, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "I feel like something crawled inside me and took a crap. / Bart, don't use that word... / Crap.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "It's 'cause your bodies are so used to processed food, it's a shock when you eat vegetables full of vitamins, minerals and trace amounts of bug feces.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "It's staying down. It's not staying down. Wait. Yup, it's staying down. Oh, no, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yup. No. Yup. No. Yup. No. Yup, no, yup, no, yup, no.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Do you have what it takes to be a singing sensation? A dynamite voice? Ruthless, pushy parents? A void in your self-esteem that can only be filled by applause?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Oh, God, I know that void.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Not affiliated with American Idol. We've never even heard of American Idol.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "So enter today, especially if you're a funny-looking kid who doesn't know he sucks.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "I think I puked up all of my meanness.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Whenever I enter a contest, I tell myself I'm going to win because sometimes, if you believe hard enough, God cuts you a break. After all, He works for us. Our prayers pay His salary.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "But seriously, cruelty to animals is no laughing matter. You can make a difference. Spay and neuter your pets. And remember, save the violence for cartoons.", "c": ["Cartoon PSA"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "After this, I got to record 27 seasons of DVD commentaries, and I remember nothing.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "I was going to be your celebrity judge, but then I realized I'd have to pay attention.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "I can't believe I used to date him.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "When she sings a 'C,' it's a 'C.' Unlike a certain glee club I've wasted my life on.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Which one are you, the man or the woman? / Questioning the kid's sexuality--well done.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Much of the tune is plagiarized.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Except for Flanders.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "I wish I could say the same about my stockbroker.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "That's a quality joke.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "I wrote it about Shelbyville, then changed the names.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Well, Moe's getting a big screen TV in February, just in time for the Pro Bowl. Maybe this time my beloved blue shirts will win.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "He's cute, unthreatening, and his smile brought a puppy back to life.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "The song I wrote you is so schmaltzy, it'll make 'Moon River' sound like a farting orangutan.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Disclaimer: All ballots were lost and vote totals made up.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Fall into the flavor hole!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "My little girl likes Red Vines! / You little...!", "c": ["Homer", "Manager"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "There's a hundred little punks graduating from Syracuse this year that would beg to kiss my ass.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "For once, couldn't you just turn into a good father? / Living through Lisa is the healthiest thing that ever happened to me.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Yeah. For once, couldn't you just turn into a good father? Would that be so hard?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "You love sausage, but you hate to see it getting made. / I don't love sausage. / Then would you like to see it getting made?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "You were obnoxious at a level not even permitted in show business.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Soon the whole world will be lining up to suck my nose.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "So, are you a colonel or a captain? / Neither. I'm both.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Oh, God, they're delicious. Oh, I'm so happy. Oh, God, they're... They're gone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Hey, you're supposed to clean this out every night. / What do you mean, talk to your shop steward?", "c": ["Krusty", "Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Hey, you're supposed to clean this out every night. What do you mean, talk to your shop steward?", "c": ["Krusty", "Eliminated contestants"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Even the Applause-O-Meter is crying.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Even the Applause-O-Meter is crying. Oh, God, that's battery acid.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Oh, God, that's battery acid.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Don't trust people in the music business.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Don't trust people in the music business.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "I'd do anything for you, honey. Especially if it's easy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "I'll always be there. Not even death will stop me. Now you're getting creepy. How 'bout I love you, honey. Good.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "Now you're getting creepy. / How 'bout I love you, honey. / Good.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 18, "et": "A Star Is Torn"}, {"t": "I scream, you scream, we all scream for... Haircuts!", "c": ["Unknown announcer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "But we'd like our hair to look like... people hair.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "But they don't have my templates.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "They're baking fresh Cinnabons... which means they're throwing out the old ones!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Which side do you want your part on? Left! Right! Stab! Stab! Stab! You're the boss.", "c": ["Barber", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Bart, you look worse than Aunt Patty in the morning. And there ain't nothin' looks worse than Aunt Patty in the morning.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "My bad-boy spikes! My good-girl points!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "while I return some socks that appeared to be black, but were in reality a very dark blue", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "The best photographs, or 'photos', will be prominently displayed", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "I love you, Dumpster-bons.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Big surprise. The fat guy's eating garbage.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "The Principal's got a shirt wiener!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Leave your body, Seymour. Leave your body.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "I'd rather play golf on the holiest day of the week.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Finally, a character I can relate to. I bet good things happen to him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Science has shown religion is just an old wives' tale.", "c": ["Movie character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Where did my Christian limo driver go?", "c": ["Movie character"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "My pious husband is missing! The baby I chose to have baptized is gone!", "c": ["Movie character"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "I thought all religions were a path to God. I was wrong!", "c": ["Movie character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Why did I choose to be gay?", "c": ["Movie character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.29, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "This movie will haunt me for the rest of my life, just like Cannonball Run II.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "He'd send us signs, like, I don't know, all the dogs getting on a spaceship and leaving.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'll bet the cats would be psyched about that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Now how about a little 'rapture' for Mama?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "I could be the Rachel to your Jacob. Okay, but it's tough for me not to think about their hardship.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Blood is raining from the sky!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "This ain't personal. I just love to scrimshaw.", "c": ["Captain McCallister"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "And would you like to take advantage of our 'Friends of Flanders' discount? No, thank you.", "c": ["Store clerk", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "So, you still think I'm crazy for saving all your hair trimmings? No, ma'am.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Let's get the rest of this hair back in the freezer.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Word books!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "The Book of Revelations has 404 verses... Add the number of people at the Last Supper... minus the number of Filipinos in the Bible...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "A week? That's... Seven days from now!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "The world will end next week! Spend your children's college fund! Thaw that turkey now!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Homer, what turned you from sad drunk to mad monk?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "It's the end of the world! God loves you! He's gonna kill you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Any other cuckoo yip-yap?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Just before the Rapture, 'the stars will fall to the Earth.' So all you hippies out there might want to... for that one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Even a few cabbages are getting in on the fun.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Marge, in a world gone mad, only a lunatic is truly insane.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "A hundred years, global warming-- we're goners, but for now, do you think you could lighten up on this 'left below' stuff?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "I thought we were getting Charlie's Angels.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "I don't wanna die next to Kathy Griffin!", "c": ["Celebrity"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "To all the fans of Los Lobos, mucho, mucho condolences.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "I've done stuff I ain't proud of, and the stuff I am proud of is disgusting.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.28, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Lie naked on our roof? Cause that girl's school says I can't do that no more.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "No, Flanders. It's... a meeting of gay witches for abortion. You wouldn't be interested.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Chief Wiggum, wanna be my buddy? What's wrong with Carl?", "c": ["Homer", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Trouble in paradise?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "But sweetheart, I have something they didn't have-- a good feeling about this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "99 minutes until we're all saved 99 minutes to go Unless it turns out that you're not devout Then you're gonna be left down below", "c": ["Crowd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "I'm gonna steal God's secrets and sell 'em to Satan!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Lisa, you still believe in me, don't you? Dad, if you'll recall, I never believed in you, not for one second.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "That's my girl.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Hey, Nostra-dumbass, did the Rapture come? I can't recall. In fact I can recall, and it didn't, and you suck.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "You said the end was comin', so I sold the bar to some Japanese businessmen and gave the money to charity. Now them orphans got new skip ropes, and I end every day smelling like eel.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Cats are all over me.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "12 Apostles! But Jesus was at the last supper, too! This changes everything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "No, make sandwiches! And some Kettle Chips would be nice! Original, not barbecue!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "You couldn't predict 6:00 at 5:30!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "I went to Lisa's school play, which had serious pacing problems.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "So beautiful with your many rings.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Look, just don't use leprechaun labor. Okay? Don't do it.", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Okay, just for that, your room's next to the kiddie pool, all right, Mr. Smarty-Head Exploder?", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "My Son went down to Earth once. I don't know what you people did to Him, but He hasn't been the same since.", "c": ["God"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Buddy, You just made Yourself a powerful enemy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Screw you, Dino! You squandered your gift!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "I made 68 albums.", "c": ["Dean Martin"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Superman did it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "You want me to help you with your alcoholism? No, I'm in a good place with that.", "c": ["God", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "It was all just a dream. What are these wings? It's just a seagull stuck in my back.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "This is heaven. Hallelujah!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 19, "et": "Thank God Its Doomsday"}, {"t": "Oh boy! This is what sunny sunday afternoons are for.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "It's just, uh... It's not that good.", "c": ["Stephan Withmore"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Prison overcrowding? I've got a solution for that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Her films are so lyrical! The phone lines are gonna be jammed.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Holy crap! Someone actually calling!", "c": ["NPR Host"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Free movie tickets? I feel like Roger Ebert or as kiss ass new partner.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "She'll be fine here, under the watchful eye of grandma Shark Week.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "TV Shark is not a babysitter!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Howdy, Homer, you here for viewing my shampooing?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Ho, sorry, but I promise to rewind videotapes for the poor.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Why won't you love me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, you wore a bathing suit in the bathtub? - Yeah, so I can't see my own shrinky dinck. Make sense.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Mum, am I a 'butch' or 'femme'?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Honey, you can be anything you wanna be.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Would you care for a segment? - Yes.", "c": ["Random moviegoer", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Mom, I don't wanna read, it's the weekend.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm stuck. Why did I eat that apple segment?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "It's one of my humble figurines, he's scampered out of Parade magazine and into my nick neck nook and the... well his little buddies soon followed.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "You like 'em, huh? Come on, I'll show you the other 300.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "I feel so much empathy for those villagers. They had to drink their own tears.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Look at me, I'm a grad student, I'm 30 years old and I made 600$ last year!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They just made a terrible life choice.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Judas bear, you're not touching your last supper.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Well, it might be fun to be a landlord. Land fella! There's only one lord.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Wait, this is my license. - No, it's not, ya-hamp.", "c": ["Ned", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Sometimes we saw all the boys in there... Robes.", "c": ["Katja"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "You poor thing. Now I've heard about those robes. Flapping everywhere...", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Girls, welcome to your very own, Ned and breakfast.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "You rhyme like Snoopy Dog. - Well, thank you.", "c": ["Katja", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "I know what we can ask Jeeves. Why does he suck?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, a banner ad! - Sexyslumberparty.com? - It's flashing! We better click it!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, this is one of those dirty web sites. - Two girls? Who would want that?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "That's odd. I could sworn I just heard someone shriek my name.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "And if you say Jimmy Fallon, I'll know you're lying.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Wait till I tell everyone about this, I'll feel important without drinking!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "That will be weird.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Yep, and nobody's telling him. Not even his good buddy God.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "It's my nickname, Stupid_Flanders!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, Moses, are you a loser? 'Yes I am, Homer.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah. They're just what my laptop needed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Son, I need to pee, but I can't stop watching. Fetch me a bottle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Come on dad, I've seen you hit the toilet from here.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "We're watching the latest photos from Mars. - Ho-ho, great stuff. Worth every billion.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Well, that's obvious. He doesn't even know.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "I'm thinking about getting a yogurt franchise. It's called Plops...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Homer's the one what adviced us up to this sexy going's on.", "c": ["Katja"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "The Bible says: 'Cast your bread upon the waters.' But all I got was a bunch of soggy bread.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "...bread.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Today I realized they are more like the Midianites.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "I wish we lived in a place more like the America of yesteryear. that only exists in the brains of us Republicans.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "I don't usually make big life decisions based on things stamped on things that I bought at the garage sale. But corn doggett, boys, it's time for a change!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "You're right. But you know who the real victim is here? Ned. - That's we've been trying to tell you!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "You're right. But you know who the real victim is here? - Ned. - That's we've been trying to tell you! - Ooh yeah...", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Last-diddly-ast?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Well at least your name's on the bowl.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "So, is that your whistle? - Damn straight. Clay Roberts. I coach wrestling, so everybody calls me coach...", "c": ["Homer", "Coach Clay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Listen neighborino, I wanna start our relationship all from a right foot so if you need anything, anything at all... - What jagoff left this here?", "c": ["Homer", "Clay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "We've played this game called 'who can punch the softest'. And he always let me win.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Howdy, Humbletonian! - Picnics and pixie-sticks!", "c": ["Ned", "Town Greeter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "This town is sweeter than a cake made of pie.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Even the dogs curb themselves.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Get rid of dr. Fuzzenstein? I couldn't dream of thinking about considering...", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Daddy, why did you have to shave your nose neighbor?", "c": ["Rod/Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "My mustache has the right to life. It's my body and my choice!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "My mustache has the right to life. It's my body and my choice!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Why would you do that? How am I gonna get home?", "c": ["Jason Bateman"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Yeah, something tells me you won't starve, ha? Ha, chief? Ha?", "c": ["Clay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Like a woman whose made the biggest mistake of her life!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Who am I fooling with my awesome lies?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Oh Ned, I don't deserve you as a neighbor, but will you forgive a young handsome fool and come home?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "That tears it. Boys, put on your goody two shoes! We're moving back to Springfield! But I have a girlfriend! - Now you got a pen pal.", "c": ["Ned", "Rod", "Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Yeah, I am a little fatty. You got me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Yeah, I am a little fatty. You got me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "I saw my advantage and I took it. That's what hero's do.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Homer, did you steal the organ from the church? Maybe, we don't know that for sure.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Mind if I waggle my finger a little bit? - Go nuts!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 20, "et": "Home Away From Homer"}, {"t": "Medieval? Like Lord of the Rings?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "I shall pattern my reign on Enguerrand VII, Sire de Coucy!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Tralloo Trallay! Not so fast, Nelson. You're one of King Martin's guards.", "c": ["Nelson", "Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "You'll pay for this...! ...my liege.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Bart, you'll be playing the village cooper. What kind of a knight is that? It's the kind of knight that makes barrels and isn't a knight.", "c": ["Teacher", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Ay, caramba. Well, this stinks. But I bet Lisa got something even stupider.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "All hail the queen!", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "The ones made from potatoes? The very same.", "c": ["Lisa", "Teacher"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "My coat of arms is a Spider-Man couchant on a field vert.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "You mean like you? Now, what's 'vert' mean? Say it means punching.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "My face! What drunken call girl will have me now?", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Now, peasants, since the Middle Ages had no compact discs or Super Mario Men,", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Wait! Let me take out my contact lenses! Pelt all you want, but revenge will be Willie's.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "That was a stapler!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Dragon in the dungeon Maiden in my lair / There's potions in my wizard's pot / Now drink it if you dare. Lute solo!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Where is the tower? It's the back seat of my Merkur. There's 37 cents in the coin caddy and stay out of my diary!", "c": ["Lisa", "Guards"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Soon we'll have revenge on those who mocked me. Also on those who were kind to me. And on the parents who took time from their busy schedules to make today such a success.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "I hate them all!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Scurry, me beasties... nibble and gnaw at their overstuffed buttocks!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Milhouse!, don't open your mouth!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Unlike all the other stuff I told you I didn't do, which I did.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Well, don't expect to spend all week lying around on the couch like a bum, 'cause that's my thing!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Now we have to find another school for you. And if you get kicked out of that one, you're going straight in the Army, where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo Bananas in charge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Think of the leg up you'd have!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "If we want to throw good money after bad, why don't we just get Grandpa that new pacemaker?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "I need two AA batteries. Now! Get 'em from the smoke detector. What if there's a fire? The smoke will wake us up.", "c": ["Grandpa", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "There, you don't just get bad grades-- you go to hell!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "My pacemaker!", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Classic Grandpa.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Ay caramba, do the Bartman, etcetera, etcetera.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Thanks for the history lesson, sis. These days we use a yardstick!", "c": ["Nun", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "A yard's 36! Now you tell me.", "c": ["Bart", "Nun"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Well, I guess they'd help me hold the dictionaries up.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "I'm the real Jesus here!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Sean, you wanker... he says... repent of your wicked ways, or sod off. Then he gobbed in my face and turned back into a streetlight.", "c": ["Father Sean"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Stealing pairs of what? Hubcaps? Reeboks? Human eyes?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Billy and Joseph start their penance at the same time. If each swear word brings a thousand years in Hell...", "c": ["Nun"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "I wish I'd gone to more orgies!", "c": ["St. Sebastian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "With all the sitting and standing and kneeling, it's like Simon Says without a winner!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.3, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "No meat?! What do they eat, light bulbs?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "That's Latin, Dad. The language of Plutarch. Mickey Mouse's dog? No, Plutarch. He chronicled the lives of the Roman emperors.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "I didn't need that new fact! Now I forgot who won Bud Bowl VIII.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "You've transformed breakfast into dinner. It's a miracle!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "I just can't remember what to yell out when you win. Bingo. That's my favorite game. I just can't remember what to yell out when you win.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "I masturbated eight billion times and I have no plans to stop masturbating in the future.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "In your face, Lord!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Right... and how do I join? Do I whale on some Unitarians?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "And you look like you've accepted someone as your personal something.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Well, I'm not having another 12 kids. Marge, no one is saying 12. Nine, ten, tops.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Under the weather? Or under the spell of a man in a pointy white hat?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "The Romans have been separate from us since the Schism of Lourdes in 1573. And that was about our holy right to come to church with wet hair.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Sorry, Marge. They're just not our sort. Well, then, I'd like to speak with Jesus. I'm afraid he's gone native.", "c": ["Protestant Heaven residents", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Her husband's sleeping with her sister. Who said that?!", "c": ["Parishioners"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "He cheated. He's got it written on his arm!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Sorry, Mom, but this is a Catholic church. Chicks don't have any authority here.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Back off, Popey LePew!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "I thought there was a monster in the potty.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Don't have a cow, man / Have a piece of fish, oy!", "c": ["Jewish Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "the Western branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "We've got Boston, South America, the good part of Ireland, and we're making serious inroads in Mozambique, baby!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "How do you like those croutons!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Well, I guess lots of kids have imaginary friends.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Well, except for... you know.", "c": ["Father Sean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Mom, a religion isn't cool just because they've glommed on to some crappy rock band from the 1940s.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "It's all Christianity, people! The little stupid differences are nothing next to the big stupid similarities!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.64, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Monogamous gays and stem cells?", "c": ["Father Sean"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 16, "e": 21, "et": "The Father The Son And The Holy Guest St"}, {"t": "Each of you thought you were in a race to plant the taco bell flag at the north pole. What you didn't know is, the race was a chase, spiced up by the presence of the betrayer.", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Well, now, the bear has a surprise for you. He's not really a bear, he's a tiger!", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Oh, the Broncos won? Why didn't I bet on them like professor pigskin told me to?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Who's professor pigskin? He's a pig who can predict football winners in advance!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Because he's got something no gambler's ever had: A system!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Lisa explains the scam while Homer remains oblivious and cites testimonials", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "A scam?! Not according to Eddie F. From Tucson, or football millionaire in Beloit, Michigan.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Look, all I'm saying is, you really should think twice before... Expiration date: 06/08.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "And with 37 starting players out with the flu, the Oakland Raiders have turned to drunks conscripted from local bars.", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Spare some change, football dude?", "c": ["Drunk Raiders Player"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Hey, I didn't bet any of our money. I just borrowed some from him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "If he mentions that pig again, use two hammers.", "c": ["Loan Shark"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "We would like to use your home to shoot an adult film. Yeah, it's called lemony lick-it: A series of horny events.", "c": ["Loan Sharks"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Like mow your lawn every week for two weeks. I can't do it next week.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "All right! You can shoot your gay adult film at my house. I didn't say anything about gay. I thought you guys were the gay mafia.", "c": ["Homer", "Loan Shark"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "I know a guy who turns the dead sleigh horses into jerky and sells it to bars.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "I want to see santa-- he can explain why he gave me a playstation box with nothing inside but a coloring book.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "It got your hopes up, didn't it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Because you look even more beautiful now than the day I married you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Welcome to santa's village, where it's christmas every day. Closed on christmas.", "c": ["Sign/Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Those reindeer look really uncomfortable. That's because they don't thrive in this environment!", "c": ["Lisa", "Guide"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Watcha reading, Santa? Tom clancy's op-center. You don't seem very jolly. Well, santa got some bad medical news.", "c": ["Bart", "Depressed Santa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Angela Dare! Sultry Stevens! Yeah, what is this, a reunion of Fahrenheit 9 on 1?", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "I've always dreamed of working in an adult film. I'll run the sound board! And I'll perform in the sex scenes!", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Oh, god, please don't tell mr. Roselli I lost my hat again!", "c": ["Frosty Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "My christmas present to myself this year was leaving that place early.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "When they put santa in the ambulance, why'd they pull the blanket all the way up over his head?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Listen, I got a tattoo of foghorn leghorn on my right thigh. Are we gonna get into any trademark or copyright issues here?", "c": ["Porn Actor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "'Cause we could put a band-aid on it and say my character just got stabbed.", "c": ["Porn Actor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "You're in the wrong house, lady! How could you allow this, in the room where we do puzzles!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Me? But I'm the father!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Today's the last day you can eat the yogurt in the fridge.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "You mean Homer's famous marinara sauce? No, I mean ketchup.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Where's your sense of magic and wonder?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "You told me to call. You wanted to see if your phone was working. But what if marge tries to call while I'm talking to you? Ain't you got call waiting? Of course, I have call waiting, you idiot! I just never learned how to use it!", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "I might have broken the phone. I better call Moe.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Then you'll buy me some Quickie Mart Flowers, maybe a box of candy, where half the pieces mysteriously have testing bites, and a week later you'll be back to your old thoughtless self.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Lemon cream. You're going in the Marge pile.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Listen, buster, I had to buy a club soda I didn't want to get change for this phone.", "c": ["Gas Station Attendant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "An oogly-boogly!", "c": ["Gas Station Attendant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Hello, Marge, where do we keep the socks that don't smell like feet?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "I would do anything to protect a manatee except harm another manatee. What if by harming a manatee you could save two manatees?", "c": ["Dr. Caleb Thorn", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "But before you answer, consider this: The manatee you have to harm is pregnant. Those are the questions that keep me up at night.", "c": ["Dr. Caleb Thorn"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Hello, Marge? Does the pizza guy take a check? If so, where do we keep the checks? And lastly, how do you write a check?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "I have a saying which goes, 'you can't teach a manatee any tricks.' Maybe you could just put a hat on him and say it's a trick.", "c": ["Dr. Caleb Thorn", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Hey, lady blue, while you're sitting there staring at the ceiling, you boyfriend's in the parking lot with his hands in a walrus.", "c": ["Gas Station Attendant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "It was hard enough getting you in there. I'm not letting you out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "'Handsome' means he look at himself in the mirror all day. 'Rugged' means you look at him.", "c": ["Mexican Man"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "To his underwater palace. Just kidding. It's a lagoon full of bugs.", "c": ["Dr. Caleb Thorn"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "And I'm sick of eating at restaurant chains I've never even heard of like Skobo's and Dim Willie'S.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Are they rubes? 'Cause I don't cotton to rubes. The rubiest.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Hey, do you folks want to see a quilt that's been in our family for five generations? I warned you he was an idiot.", "c": ["Country Cousin", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Well, all I need is some moonshine and someone playing the harmonicky and I'm as happy as a pig in plop.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "She, was killed by a falling air conditioner. But that's terrible! It wasn't all bad. As part of the settlement, her funeral was air conditioned.", "c": ["Homer", "Cousin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "So how are we related again? Our dogs are brothers.", "c": ["Cousin", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "And the ones we can't save, we put to good use. what am I supposed to do, bury them at arlington?", "c": ["Dr. Caleb Thorn"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Check out those gentle, exotic sea creatures. Let's whomp 'em!", "c": ["Jet Skier"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Look, if it were up to me, I'd be harassing them with you. If anything, I'd be the guy who took it too far.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "And we respect two things: Bravery and tattoos that look like barbed wire.", "c": ["Jet Skier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "No court order's gonna tell me what to do. Oh, man-- it's notarized! Let's boogie!", "c": ["Jet Skier"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Poor dumb country mouse. Can't even count.", "c": ["Jet Skier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "'cause you're the real endangered species-- a devoted husband.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Yeah, miranda was nice, but I'm not driving to corpus christi every time she needs a light bulb changed.", "c": ["Dr. Thorn"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "I believe it's a manatee posing as homer simpson, sir.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "Oh, that's cute. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Actually, sir, I believe he's about to die of dehydration.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 1, "et": "The Bonfire Of The Manatees"}, {"t": "What are they cock-a-doodily doing?", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Flanders, I can't listen to your crap before my coffee. / Okily-dokily, here's some french roast.", "c": ["Homer", "Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Now, I'll go make toast. / Stupid best friend flanders.", "c": ["Flanders", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.27, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Stamps? Those are for snail mail! / Stamps rule! I mean suck!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.6, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "What ever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'? / I think they killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.73, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "The noise is jiggling my grapes to the bottom of the jell-O.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.27, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "What man would want you now?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Seven, four, three, one... oh, wait, that's my pin number.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "'come home from Iraq,' my wife says. 'Fallujah's too dangerous,' my wife says.", "c": ["Unknown soldier"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.77, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "You know, why didn't you just say 'stamp collectors'? / 'Cause I'm tired of dumbing myself down for you.", "c": ["Homer", "Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.73, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "The postal service is sending a change of address card... to itself.", "c": ["News anchor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "When I die, you can mourn me from the bathroom. That's multitasking.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "I don't even like watching the count on sesame street. One coconut, two coconuts, three coconets...", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.93, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Go back to your own country!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Then the zombies will eat you first, and you won't have to watch them eat us. / Thanks for making me feel better. / Well, thanks for making me feel better, knowing that your screams when the zombies chomp your brains will warn me so I can get away.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.1, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "There's no such thing as zombies! / Glad to hear you say that, because the person who doesn't believe in zombies is always the first to get feasted upon.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "So that's why I've been smelling margaritas at 3:00 A.M. / Hey, I love waking up drunk in the morning.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.23, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Wait a minute, there's no batteries in this thing. / I needed them for my remote-control helicopter.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "There's a little plastic man in your hair, and I'm trying to rescue him. / No soldier left behind.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.43, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Lisa, when you've sustained as many blows to the head as I have, consistency is something, something that something... / I love you, Bart.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Hey, Simpsons. That'll be 40 bucks. / Oh, I thought it was 20! / Yeah, that's per axle. Park over there in Carl four. No early outs.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.73, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Living next to the stamp museum is making me a mint! I bought a diamond for my belly button!", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Living next to the stamp museum is making me a mint! I bought a diamond for my belly button! You guys need water? / No one's gonna pay a buck to drink water from your hose, so... / Pay the man, Homer.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Living next to the stamp museum is making me a mint! I bought a diamond for my belly button!", "c": ["Lenny Leonard"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Yeesh! Butter face.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.76, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "You stole it from me, Elisha Gray. Read the patent number, bitch!", "c": ["Alexander Graham Bell"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "You read a book all the way through? Why?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Is this the land of the wild beasts? / No, this is the land of the wild feasts! The Hillside Wrangler steak house!", "c": ["Commercial narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "And I'm jumbo shrimp! Maximum two servings! / That's bull... Man!", "c": ["Commercial characters"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.43, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "I wanted to be a children's book illustrator ever since Playboy wouldn't publish my cartoons because they were too filthy.", "c": ["Milton Burkhart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.93, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "I've been digging graves for 30 years, and I've never buried anyone alive. If I did, they'd ring this bell. / Well, that's just the wind. / Oh, that's just a tree branch, with a nice watch on it!", "c": ["Gravedigger Billy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.9, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "What a lousy party! I don't care what apu was in a past life, in this life, he's a blabbermouth! And that Dr. Hibbert was so boring. 'Homer, we've got to get that lump checked out.' 'Homer, we must discuss your test results.' 'Homer, we've got to find you a donor.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.77, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "You see, sweetie, when a mommy and daddy are married for years and have nothing new to talk about, they bad-mouth their closest friends.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.07, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "What has two ears but can't hear? / Grandpa! / Tragically, yes.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "But don't be surprised if a snuggle monster shows up. / Well, I hope he's accompanied by the 'how was your day' monster and the 'foot rub' monster, and the 'let me just....' / don't worry, he's not showing up.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "What about Bart's bedroom? / You know that race car bed I made him? The brakes are shot.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Mom, I think there's a danger this time they might lose the ponderosa.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Why you very little...!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "callback"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Well worth the $4,000. / $4,000? / Now, Marge, when our little girl's happiness is at stake... / Run, Marge! Start the car!", "c": ["Therapist", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.57, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "I'm not chasing you, Mr. Simpson. / And you won't! Unless you can leap through fire!", "c": ["Therapist", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "I don't work here. I was just visiting another security guard that died. Bye, now.", "c": ["Security Guard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Hi, Dr. Nick. / Hi, everybody! / I mean, I'm not dr. Nick. I'M... Dr. Octopus. I'm going to get you, spidey. Then I will have upside-down kiss with Mary Jane.", "c": ["Lisa", "Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.43, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Bye, Dr. Nick. / Bye, Lisa. And remember, you have a checkup next thursday. / We don't go to you anymore. We have a better doctor. / Oh, congratulations!", "c": ["Lisa", "Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "You know, I actually got into law school, but I just couldn't afford it. / Quiet, I hear something. / Yeah, that's my life slipping away.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Don't worry, we're not evil spirits! / Although, we were evil spirits, we'd probably assume the shape of your parents.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.4, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "I don't know how I reproduce, but we'll have a great time figuring it out.", "c": ["Slime Monster"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "For god's sake, girl, you're eight years old. It's natural for you to feel scared sometime. / But I'm too smart to get scared.", "c": ["Monster", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "You could just draw the blinds, you silly goose. / Or get a night-light. / My dad says they're too expensive. / For god's sake, they're four bucks apiece.", "c": ["Monsters", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.9, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "You could just draw the blinds, you silly goose. / Or get a night-light. / My dad says they're too expensive. / For god's sake, they're four bucks apiece.", "c": ["Monsters", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "What is it about slime that chicks don't dig?", "c": ["Slime monster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "We're always just a concussion away!", "c": ["Monsters"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Uh, chief, it's light out. You can open your eyes and come down. / I don't want to, Lou! / I've got a pizza bagel for you. / Let's roll.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 2, "et": "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"}, {"t": "Maggie using the Bible inappropriately (presumably as a teething toy or to scratch with)", "c": ["Marge", "Maggie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "What? I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. Something's wrong with Maggie. We need to take her to Dr. Hibbert.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "The Hibberts frequent a more 'boisterous' place of worship.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Fantastic! The black God rocks!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Say Amen! / Amen! Put this Calamine lotion on Maggie and the spots will heal. / The spots will heal! / The spots will heal!", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert", "Congregation"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Heal my spots, Lord! Praise the Lord! I can walk again! / What? My foot fell asleep.", "c": ["Congregation Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "What? My foot fell asleep.", "c": ["Same congregation member"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "No! No! Here, play with your teddy bear.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Homer, don't touch her! You haven't had chickenpox. While you have, and you're perfect... I'm just saying it's dangerous to get it as an adult. You could become sterile... Down low.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Do you always have to get crude like that, Marge? You're capable of so much better than that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Dad, I'm saving one for you. I'll leave it here in the dog's mouth. / No! Bart, that's a very bad storage space!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "What's the confusion? Did you drink some frozen tea with a strange taste?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Seriously? You mind if I bring my boys over to get infected? Then we'll have chickenpox in both houses. / Why would you do that? Are you a bad parent?", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "And they pay handsomely for the privilege? / They could. But you'd have to be a real money-grubber to charge friends and neighbors... $15 for your kids to get infected! Now with the Pox-Box.", "c": ["Homer", "TV Announcer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Hi. Luann will pick up Milhouse when the party's over. I'll be reading in the car until then.", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Kirk, come with the parents to the kitchen. We're drinking alcoholic beverages and burying the missing parents.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I'm not one to make fun of others' diuretic problems... but you should have seen... There he is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Ladies and gentlemen, I present the girl with the crusts, the kid with all the spots, Maggie!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I already feel like a chicken. I just laid an egg in my pants.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Chief, don't you think you've had enough? / I'm fine. Look, I can touch my gun with my nose. / Don't worry, I'm chief police. I meant to say... / Why doesn't Lou love me anymore? Why?", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Knock knock. / Luann, what are you doing here? I thought you were just dropping off Milhouse. You could go for coffee and come back. / No, stay. I'll go home. Who will let me suck gasoline?", "c": ["Luann", "Kirk"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Perfect! I never drink those without cigarette butts in them.", "c": ["Luann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Hi kids! This fat guy only paid for 20 seconds, so listen. Moses got chickenpox and scratched day and night. He asked the rabbi what to do, and he said... Time's up. I'm out.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Time's up. I'm outta here.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Kirk, you look great. Do you work out? / Dogs chase me. / Nobody chases me lately.", "c": ["Marge", "Kirk", "Luann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Everyone has hope now.", "c": ["Luann"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Sweet Lizzie McGuire! / Do you consider this traumatic?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Unknown"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Mr. Stomach, are you hungry? / I'm always hungry. Finish the pizza, fatty.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I have to do this for work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Mr. Van Houten, I like how you kiss me! / Yes, it's fantastic kissing women. / Baby, kiss my mouth. / Hug me like we're in a luxury hotel.", "c": ["Kirk", "Luann"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "But how? / I have no idea. I stayed away from Maggie all day. It's itching incredibly!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Son, we want to talk to you about what you saw at the Simpsons'. / I didn't see anything that gives me hope, if that's what you mean.", "c": ["Kirk", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Maybe you should raise your hopes a little. / They're already high! They've reached the clouds! Your father and I are going through a trial 'un-divorce.'", "c": ["Luann", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I want to clarify something. Unlike divorce, this isn't your fault.", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I can't believe it, my family might get back together.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I haven't seen colorful hallucinations in a long time.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Oat-Homer. Stop eating the oat flakes. That's the third bathtub you've eaten.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Please? No, I won't come to work today. I have chickenpox. I know I said that last month too, but I was lying. Yes, okay. Yes. Okay. I love you, goodbye.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "They just fired me. Let me look at the want ads. Truck drivers wanted in Iraq. Trucks are like big cars.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Truck drivers wanted in Iraq. Trucks are like big cars.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "The captain and I... / I don't want to know.", "c": ["Kirk", "Luann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Milly... / Botanical Garden? Bilderberg Club? Rugby field with the Springfield Stans?", "c": ["Luann", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Son, here's $10. Why don't you go to the bowling alley and throw some lonely balls? But tonight there's Champions League!", "c": ["Kirk", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "This 'un-divorce' sucks. My parents used to compete for my love... and I always came out winning. And the plant got watered along with the royal treatment. Movies, double Christmas, soda with meals... We lived like kings.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Movies, double Christmas, soda with meals... We lived like kings.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Unforgettable New Year's. / I think we need to break up your parents again.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "You know, Bart, my imaginary friend... never makes me do things I think are wrong. That's why he had to leave forever. But I thought you'd let him come back. I'm afraid he'll spend another year searching his mind.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "But I thought you'd let him come back. I'm afraid he'll spend another year searching his mind.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Your mom said I smell and that I'm crude. / Mom said that? / That's amazing. Usually she kept criticism inside until it destroyed our marriage.", "c": ["Kirk", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I don't want to rat out Dad, but he just let me drink a beer! / Looks like we have a problem here. And the problem is you're addicted to lies.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Luann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "But I'm drunk! I'll prove it to you. Watch me... kiss this photo of Nana. I can't do it. She's so mean to me. She won't let me eat jellybeans!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Maybe my parents are made for each other, Bart. / You better hope they're not, because you know what comes next? Your worst nightmare: A little sister.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "If you don't mind, I want to watch... that 'cool' series about teenagers in California.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I'm sure Sterling put that bra there to cause trouble. / Amazing idea! These screenwriters are geniuses! However much they're paid, it's not enough.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "That bra will break up and separate. It will break up your mother's doubts and separate your parents.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "This isn't mine. / PROPERTY OF MARGE SIMPSON", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I have a message for your wife. Stop sleeping with my husband! / And you are... / The wife of your wife's lover.", "c": ["Luann", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "That's ridiculous! No woman wants sex with that loser. / And congratulations on taking him back. Good move.", "c": ["Homer", "Luann"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "That's Marge's bra. I bought it for her boobs! / Of all the people Marge could cheat with, why did she choose me? I'm devastated.", "c": ["Homer", "Kirk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "How can you ask me something like that? / I repeat: Did you sleep with Kirk? / Homer, you've lost it! / You're not saying 'no.' / Very well... No! / I still don't hear 'no.' / No! No! No!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "We tried to break up your parents and broke up mine instead. / Want to talk to my psychiatrist about how you feel? / Yes, Dr. Wexler? Stop calling me, I'm on my honeymoon! / Yeah, it's that crazy kid again.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart", "Dr. Wexler"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I'd do anything to have your mom back and that donut. / Look, you and Mom can work things out. What exactly happened?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Better go. / Where do you live? / You know the 'Four Seasons'? I'm experiencing them firsthand because I live in the park.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I can read you like an open book. / You read books! If you don't tell Mom what you did, I will.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "You'll marry much older men as compensation, while I'll become one of those weirdos who's 35 and goes to high school basketball games.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I looked into it and found out I was to blame. / Really? Just for that, I'll delete all the saved games on your PlayStation. / What? How do you know such tricks? / I read it right here.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "That means you and Dad will get D-I-V-O-R-C-E? / Young man, go study spelling... or I'll delete all the sounds from your phone. / No!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "How does this look, Bart? A traditional dance could solve our problems. All I need is your pants size. It's two sizes bigger than your pants. How many times must I tell you? Forget Rodgers and Hammerstein! Rodgers and Hart? No!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "The stupid TV show plots don't work in real life. Mom and Dad's marriage is solid as a rock... and they need to find the solution through analysis so it doesn't crumble.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "When my parents see this doll... falling off the cliff, they'll think it's me... and realize the most important thing is staying united. Do you like the doll? I even made it smell like you.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Questions? / Yes, what will you dress as for Halloween? / Giant dog poop. Let's begin.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "I can't tell who's who. / I already started running!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Homer, I can save you both. Just let go of the rock! Trust me!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Mom, Dad, I'd give 3 trillion to fix things between you. / Make it 2 trillion. We'll lose the first trillion in taxes!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Can he swim? / What do you think?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 3, "et": "Milhouse Of Sand And Fog"}, {"t": "Monsters!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 3.1, "im": 3.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Well. At least the Cubs will finally win.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Well done, idiots outer space! You have destroyed the whole of existence! Everything will be alright, I will just leave a little word.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.09, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Hey, Lisa. I bet I can jump in the pool here. / Bart, it would be the thing most stupid t'aurais as ever. / No. The most stupid thing would be to do it over.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "I am afraid that your son is in a deep coma which he never emerge. / I guess we should thank God he is not dead. / I know - that way, I continue to charge you.", "c": ["Doctor", "Marge", "Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "A robot? A child robot would be great. We can make it confusing for his head explodes. 'This sentence is a lie' But if it's a lie, then it must be true. But if that is true, then it must be ... Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Kaboom!", "c": ["Homer", "Robot"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "And a robot you would forget your son died very quickly. / I thought it was in a coma! / It is almost the same thing. Except that like that, I continue to send you bills. / You've already said that. / Well, you did not laugh the first time.", "c": ["Doctor", "Marge", "Doctor"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Mom, it hurts! / He knows how to operate all my buttons. / And voila how activate his. / I am a man who loves to strangle her children. Do you think I can ... / Of course, try. / Kind of metallic ... Wow! The trachea is incredibly responsive.", "c": ["Robot Bart", "Marge", "Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's the oh-sixes for you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "No bot is not a robot! My Flanderinouilles! Having a brother robot me. The implications ethnic make me tense.", "c": ["Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "You replaced me with this toy? / Replace is an ugly word. There you updated. / Bart, we can be friends. / Will eat my shorts ... / I will t'ob\u00e9ir.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Robot Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "In nature, they would never experienced boredom, obesity, the loss of a purpose ... You know, the American dream.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "God thank you, I landed in a bird pens.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.65, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "There should be a law that punishes the abandonment of children. / Do not be afraid of us. We're kind of robots were rejected, like you. / I'm not a robot, I'm human. / Tell me, young man. How does it feel to have ... feelings? / I say that I was a human, not a daughter.", "c": ["Bart", "Rejected Robot", "Bart", "Robot"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.11, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "The name of a command prompt! Our plays have disappeared! We were robbed! My pieces are gone. This kid screwed us all. It pissed me over! You're a robot-urinal. Lava-tron.", "c": ["Various Robots"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "It stinks! I have a small robot legs. and a culture that is not equipped for an adult.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "I will call for their job that we may not come. / Freak.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 4.95, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Honey, animals do not feel the death. It has been proven by scientists Buffalo Grill.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Stop your hay - Dad will kill wild animals but I shot a bird and I gotta go see a psychiatrist. / He still believes that Hobo was a bird.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Oh my god, I see coming: He wants to sell his mansion in timeshare. / Well, I already have credits, then t'ait is you who have done!", "c": ["Homer", "Character"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Five minutes of racing? Shoot me now. / Well, it broke the ice.", "c": ["Homer", "Burns"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Well, I guess you like hunting, and you said in the past, killing people is part of my religion ... I think I can do something with it.", "c": ["Blue Haired Lawyer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "You can not kill a Hindu! / Help me, Jesus!", "c": ["Apu", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Well, we used to say good Race always beat a good hunt. But the stats say, 'bet on the guy with the gun!'", "c": ["Terry Bradshaw"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "'Jackpot, a million dollars!' If I could get out of here alive, I could ...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Homer, Burns we only hunting for six hours and you already resorted to cannibalism. / And there are bananas in that tree up there. / Ho, them seem a little green.", "c": ["Lenny", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Fooled with the body of my best friend.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Stay out over 18 hours and not a single call. / Oh, I can not stay angry against you when the pot feels the sausage and onion.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "I spoke too soon? Go! It will live in my playbook!", "c": ["Terry Bradshaw"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Look, Grand Father disguised as a gorilla. Bob Tahiti in Spiderman, and Nelson is a raccoon. / I'm not a raccoon, I am a lone Ranger. But I am too poor to pay me the hat. It is not even a mask. It's fat turnover.", "c": ["Character", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Because I am a black Dracula, I must Blackula be? / My wife told me not to come to Dracula. But I replied, 'Bernice, we are in the 21st century ...'", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Jester. With $ 25, can not even have half a cereal bar. I exaggerate, but more seriously, my prices are very high.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "I do not costume. I am a real witch. / Wait a bit, it's cheating! Burn ... and make the purchase order!", "c": ["Witch", "Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "This is not fair. I do not even wear no disguise. Look at me, I am a young gorilla virvoltant", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Look at me, I am a young gorilla virvoltant. My hip is broken. With the help. Let's go to the hospital for a gorilla.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Listen to me, I am Oberon, Queen of the Fairies. / You're a big cockroach, and you will die!", "c": ["Homer", "Witch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Maggie is now a real witch! It can cancel this spell. / I do not want to cancel this fate. I can howl at the moon and eat rats.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "I do not want change either. I can get horses mud. Girls will love! And I'm Jared from the subway ads. I have just a little overweight, and ambiguous sexuality.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Very good. This concludes the show Halloween this year. I hope you take as much fun to watch us Koreen that have been conducting animation. But there are some people for whom it is Halloween every day. I speak of illiterate adults. For them, try to read the newspaper, it's terrifying than any of the goblins, Goule, ghosts or spirits. So please, make donations to 'Children's book. Together, we can their to read a slam dunk. / Dennis Rodman? What are you doing here? / Community service after a speeding. Happy Halloween to all!", "c": ["Lisa", "Dennis Rodman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvi"}, {"t": "Enjoy your multicultural hooey.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Your most beautiful costume is your self-esteem. // Pause here to discuss tolerance. What is this crap?", "c": ["Unknown student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "This is worse than 'wheelchair-nocchio.'", "c": ["Unknown student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Hey, cryptkeeper, I like your Dodge scare-a-van.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "It was the first car to outrun a man. A caveman.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "I thought of that 'cause I slept in a cave last night.", "c": ["Unknown student"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Kill them, Smithers. // You could just buy a new car, sir. // Well... whatever's easier.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "May I suggest an Oldsmobile?", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Now, hold perfectly still for 78 minutes.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "That's the car I think about when I make love to my wife.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "That guy in first class is taking a tv out of his armrest. // What's in you? // A bunch of stupid cables.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Cletus, you are the most wonderful husband and son I ever had.", "c": ["Brandine"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Well, some people in Europe have the impression that America has made some stupid choices in the past, oh, five years.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "That flag is mine! Don't mess with Texas! Shock and awe, losers! Shock and awe!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Why don't you encourage him to get us some health insurance?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "A McDonald's where you can get booze!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "But, dad, don't you want to turn around and see the tower? // There's a picture of it on my cup.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Savages.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "It says here we should turn left at a fat chick in a tutu being fed by a midget. // That's a dvd of a Fellini movie.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "I get it. The midget represents dwarves.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Mozzarella! Parmigiano! Provolone! Pecorino! Gorgonzola! Fontina! Taleggio! Bocconcini!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "We got the cheese insurance. // It doesn't cover mortadella. // No!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Wish you'd never been unified by Victor Emmanuel II. If only you'd stayed a loose confederation of city-states, trading with each other and occasionally warring.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Why can't you people learn to speak my language? I learned to eat your food.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Kentucky?! In italia, this a-means 'whore'!", "c": ["Italian villager"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Sideshow Bob of all the regioni and all the villaggi in all of Italia, you had to be il mayore of this one!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "But it better have a beginning, a middle and an end. And you'd better make us root for the protagonist.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Okay, so far I'm rooting for you.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "It's pronounced 'buon giorno.' Your mouth is getting lazy on the second syllable. Here, let me guide you.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "These feet are made for stomping and that's just what they'll do one of these days these feet will make chianti out of you ready, feet? Start stomping.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Holy moley! I always thought you were, you know, out loud and proud. // Well, I experimented in college, as one does.", "c": ["Lisa", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "I never went to college. // Stop the presses.", "c": ["Homer", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! I make like my daddy!", "c": ["Gino"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Bart and I used to go fly-fishing together. // Die, Bart! Die, Bart!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Gino"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "He makes love like a man who just got out of jail.", "c": ["Francesca"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Surely, even the most heinous criminal deserves a seventh chance.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Not necessarily in words, but in body language. You know, sneaking around and such.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "You can't be a bad person if you have a family.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "from Jean Valjean to the voice of Buzz Lightyear, Tim Allen.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Dad, don't act like Mussolini. // I thought I was doing Donald Trump.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "This sausage shop has been grinding the same family of pigs for 600 years.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "And he kisses you with that mouth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Chief, I tried to warn you. Sideshow bob hasn't lived here for months.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Mark Wiggum, fat kid, played a lot of tetris.", "c": ["Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "my heartfelt wish that they never return.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Marge, don't be so olive garden. // Yeah, this is Italy. Look, the town drunk is two years old.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Look, the town drunk is two years old.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "More like jailed at sing sing.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Drunken children tell the ugliest lies.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "But darling, the boy drove me to murder by exonerating a harlequin who I framed for robbery at the Kwik-E-Mart.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Boy, that Sideshow Bob goes from zero to murder awfully fast.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "At least this time it was Lisa who ruined Bob's life.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "It's called a hangover, sweetie. And it's an unavoidable part of life.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "What am i supposed to use it for... transporting water to distant urban centers?! Lazy romans.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Why do I keep trying to kill them?", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Revenge is a dish best served family-style.", "c": ["Francesca"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm the Bourne Identity.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "They have that here, too?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Vendetta? What's that, an Italian vending machine?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "I am the gayest super villain ever. Beware my scented candles.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, it sounds like you're all taking a Napoli.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Well, I need someone to help me smuggle antiquities to America. Everyone, break off a piece and hide it on your person.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 5, "et": "Marges Son Poisoning"}, {"t": "Tomorrow is Father's Day, which makes the vigil tonight for Father's Day. Joy to the world, a father was born.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "No vigil Father's Day? This means that there no... Paternal Christmas?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Is there a Rabbit the SuperBowl? Of course, why not?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "If I give you the money, what The gift comes from you? Where you get your money? That is 10. Make your own card.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "It is a ticket of 50. This kid finally refund. Very well, Ralph, look at what you can do with a 100 bill.", "c": ["Shop clerk", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "You know, produced the saloperies mass do not what I feel for Dad. I'll give her a gift that comes from the heart.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Do not fear me, milady, Captain Superstud Dash is here with his small tool.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Open another gift now would be like to go to a concert Jessica Simpson after going to the opera.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "A slight twinge in the heart? It is moving. We can not deny it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Well, it's not my fault. Magnet rotten!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "I brought you back even after losing our wedding album in a bet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Hey, Moe, one might have to drink? Shut up and pass me to other heads of Moe.", "c": ["Customer", "Moe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "A baby is 0 to 2 years. His first words. Play the game That is 50 cents less for babies. I prefer not to go rather than lying.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Of course, is what all men do, take, take and take without attention to feelings and unicorns.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "You do not think a girl can not blow a cable? Well, you're wrong!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Willie, rats were again m\u00e2chouill\u00e9 cables. Leave me in peace. I am pasta ramen.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "It can still keep drinks hot and cold? I'm afraid it keeps more no drink now.", "c": ["Homer", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Ho, of course, it is easy to Blame me. It's harder to close.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "But how can I fix eight years cr\u00e9tinerie After two singles and not cost me anything?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "What happened in the last Securi-Salamander? He is asleep in the costume and suffocated.", "c": ["School counselor", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "The school bus never belts. So what protects you if we have an accident? A metal bar at the teeth.", "c": ["Student", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Are you a girl? Because I do not see any employees sausage", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Every man for himself! Crush if you must!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Honey, you know that Dad is longer allowed to enter the zoo.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "I said, turn left at Boulevard Bart! I tell you that there is no Boulevard Bart!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Sort just your hunting knife and cut the cord 'ombrilical.' Yes Ma'am.", "c": ["Woman", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Can we all agree not to involve our insurance? Come on, be nice.", "c": ["Driver"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Only three? Ok, six! It's better like that!", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Who the hell are you? Your responsible press. I knew I had to hire my nephew. I am your nephew. Ok, then it stinks.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Reporter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Ask the plane anywhere, girls become truly wild.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "I am proud to be American. I have done.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Are you sure there was no a miniature in his hat? I read an email about this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Well, I have a vision similar to X-rays, a breath of fire, and I can do laugh with tennis balls.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "And to think that during all these years I was a 'gecko man. Tire fool you.", "c": ["Reporter"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Why should we let an election be influenced by a photo from several hours? Now, here candy restaurant for everyone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "People may not like Homer Simpson, but he loves this costume. In the same way they love this stupid American flag.", "c": ["Campaign advisor"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "It's weird. At the beginning it was an egg.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Cats in the pants of everybody.", "c": ["Cat Lady"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Cats in the pants of everybody.", "c": ["Eleanor Abernathy/Crazy Cat Lady"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Ok, dropped. I will not let a man tell me what to do. It is true, I am a man. a man dressed as a salamander for regain the love of his daughter.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Please stop giving fruit!", "c": ["Crowd member"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "I can not believe I lost with all the commercials that Ben Affleck has made. Yes, I t'avais warned about this.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "you no longer tail now. I know... I sense yet.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 6, "et": "See Homer Run"}, {"t": "Joe! You said that your wife was dead. And you said that t'avais graduated from typist. I have problems with the space bar.", "c": ["Easter Bunny", "Mayor Joe Quimby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Nelson, it does not count as Easter eggs. Yeah, but it counts as breakfast", "c": ["Adult", "Nelson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Ralph, there is a hole in your basket. You're the brother of Lisa.", "c": ["Someone", "Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Sir, would you ask the baby? Do not worry, I just want to talk.", "c": ["Homer", "Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Silly rabbit, is hit in the ribs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "I read an article on this subject to the hairdresser. Did you know that the word was not not a person named Wayne Scott?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "You're like all Easter bunny -- Unable to take a punched in the balls.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Margin, there will be a hole in my pants? Homer, please ... We are about to drink tea. No tea. Security.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Mayor's Wife"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Come on, sweetie, you have lots of friends. There ... Lisa and ... the oven.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Hey, baby ... You want a little sex tyrannosaurus?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.84, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "My husband ... and my best friend. It's a risk I have to be taken.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "We go to a camp for twins. Oh, my God. Spend a summer in Rome. Rome? Founded by twins, however.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "What flawless logic. But I will have to ask you to say few sentences to verify your facility. Not now, I quantity of important appointments.", "c": ["Administrator", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "I bet it would be a good friend to Marge. It also frustrated the air.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Why all women to whom I talks are in canned?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "I plan to throw the body into the ocean.", "c": ["Boat Rental Guy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "This is what you get by asking questions.", "c": ["Boat Rental Guy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "I bet you can not start a cat above the house. Ah yes? I was wrong.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "What wind! I do not know how you keep if your hair perfect. Gasket Johnson.", "c": ["Marge", "Tammy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Except during the evening TV-candy, every Tuesday and Thursday.", "c": ["Tammy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Homer cut my wedding dress to net badminton, he never uses. He spent my last three birthdays in prison, delivered on behalf of his ball bowling during sex.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Margin? In a gang? What are you gonna do, shoot me with a cannon that ice?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "You really speak Italian? Si My grandmother, Nana Sophie, lives in Tuscany.", "c": ["Lisa", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Nana talks to me only in Italian. Every time I spoke English, she beat me. Fool! Every time I spoke English, she beat me. It hurts! Fool!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Nana Sophie"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "That's how I learned English and started to wet my bed.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "But Luigi, surely you speak Italian. No. I speak only how to say ... of fractured English. That is what my parents spoke at home.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Luigi"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "I am the most lucky boy in the world! 'm Not in love, stupid!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "The secret is, put apples in it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "You kidding. You must laugh. You do not kidding. Other surprises? I am not a natural redhead.", "c": ["Marge", "Tammy"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Rather than give the money, I will serve to extend my life expectancy of 10 min.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Why have you brought hunting dogs at a charity event? I wanted them to the toileteur.", "c": ["Someone", "Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "The Bip Bip really exist!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Sono cosi matto a lei! Ho pensato abbiamo avuto qualcosa andando, th poi prendo the con questa sgualdrina! Lei malato me fa!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Fool! Fool! Fool!", "c": ["Nana Sophie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Expert in disguise? Not with this haircut.", "c": ["Tammy", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "look at the heat this Subaru. And this does not find a girlfriend. I never understand.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Zero to the right. Zero by the left. And back to zero.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "If I would act as the leader, I would bring pants size 58. Voila, let's go for jokes about large.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Because sometimes it is easier to be cruel to say what we really feel. Permission to make a calin head? Clearance ... Lou granted.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "And tell me that I'm not big.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "I can not believe I ca 2 times.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 7, "et": "The Last Of The Red Hat Mamas"}, {"t": "Enjoy your multicultural hooey.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "What is this crap? This is worse than 'wheelchair-nocchio.'", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Hey, cryptkeeper, I like your Dodge scare-a-van.", "c": ["Nelson Muntz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "How dare you mock my mobile-a-mobile? It was the first car to outrun a man. A caveman.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "I thought of that 'cause I slept in a cave last night.", "c": ["Cletus Spuckler"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Kill them, Smithers. / You could just buy a new car, sir. / Well... whatever's easier.", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "May I suggest an Oldsmobile?", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "I won't forget who mocked me. I'm taking your picture. Now, hold perfectly still for 78 minutes.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "That's the car I think about when I make love to my wife.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "That guy in first class is taking a tv out of his armrest. / What's in you? / A bunch of stupid cables.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "The kids just got a new playhouse! / Cletus, you are the most wonderful husband and son I ever had.", "c": ["Cletus Spuckler", "Brandine Spuckler"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Well, some people in Europe have the impression that America has made some stupid choices in the past, oh, five years.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "That flag is mine! Don't mess with Texas! Shock and awe, losers! Shock and awe!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Why you little...", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Wow, I've seen photos of this, but you can't really experience it until you're here: A Mcdonald's where you can get booze!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "But, dad, don't you want to turn around and see the tower? / There's a picture of it on my cup.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Savages.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "It says here we should turn left at a fat chick in a tutu being fed by a midget. / That's a dvd of a Fellini movie.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "I get it. The midget represents dwarves.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Mozzarella! Parmigiano! Provolone! Pecorino! Gorgonzola! Fontina! Taleggio! Bocconcini!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Don't worry. We got the cheese insurance. / It doesn't cover mortadella. / No!", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Stupid Italy. Wish you'd never been unified by Victor Emmanuel II. If only you'd stayed a loose confederation of city-states, trading with each other and occasionally warring.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Americano? / What the hell could that mean? Why can't you people learn to speak my language? I learned to eat your food.", "c": ["Italian Mechanic", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "kentucky?! / In italia, this a-means 'whore'!", "c": ["Italian Mayor", "Italian Woman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Sideshow Bob of all the regioni and all the villaggi in all of Italia, you had to be il mayore of this one!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "But it better have a beginning, a middle and an end. And you'd better make us root for the protagonist.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Okay, so far I'm rooting for you.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "It's pronounced 'buon giorno.' Your mouth is getting lazy on the second syllable. Here, let me guide you.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Italian Local"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "These feet are made for stomping and that's just what they'll do one of these days these feet will make chianti out of you ready, feet? Start stomping.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Holy moley! I always thought you were, you know, out loud and proud. / Well, I experimented in college, as one does.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "I never went to college. / Stop the presses.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "The name Roberto cries when he has the bad dream. Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! I make like my daddy!", "c": ["Gino", "Bob's Wife"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "He makes love like a man who just got out of jail.", "c": ["Bob's Wife"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Surely, even the most heinous criminal deserves a seventh chance.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Yeah, I tell Marge everything. Not necessarily in words, but in body language. You know, sneaking around and such.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "You can't be a bad person if you have a family. And literature is filled with tales of redemption from Jean Valjean to the voice of Buzz Lightyear, Tim Allen.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Dad, don't act like Mussolini. / I thought I was doing Donald Trump.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "This sausage shop has been grinding the same family of pigs for 600 years.", "c": ["Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Chief, I tried to warn you. Sideshow bob hasn't lived here for months. / Oh, god, am I sorry. Is that a penn state banner? 'Cause my cousin went there. Did you know him? Mark Wiggum, fat kid, played a lot of tetris.", "c": ["Italian Police", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Tomorrow, they return to America, taking with them my gratitude, my friendship and my heartfelt wish that they never return.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Look, the town drunk is two years old.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Yeah, but he's a wanted killer in our community. / He deserves to be hailed at this wingding. / More like jailed at sing sing.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Drunken children tell the ugliest lies.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "But darling, the boy drove me to murder by exonerating a harlequin who I framed for robbery at the Kwik-E-Mart. / It all sounds so stupid.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Francesca"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "It all sounds so stupid.", "c": ["Francesca"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Boy, that Sideshow Bob goes from zero to murder awfully fast. / At least this time it was Lisa who ruined Bob's life.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "It's called a hangover, sweetie. And it's an unavoidable part of life.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "What am i supposed to use it for... transporting water to distant urban centers?! Lazy romans.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm the Bourne Identity.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "I am the gayest super villain ever. Beware my scented candles.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "I don't wish to brag, but he's evil at an eighth grade level.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "I know you're out there. I can hear you being greasy.", "c": ["Krusty the Clown"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Well, I need someone to help me smuggle antiquities to America. Everyone, break off a piece and hide it on your person.", "c": ["Krusty the Clown"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "When a big tub of lard... / Knock it off. / Excusi. No speaka english.", "c": ["Gondolier", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 8, "et": "The Italian Bob"}, {"t": "Maybe he's cheating on us with the episcopalians. Look at 'em, with their bright, airy narthex and light, flaky eucharist.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I wouldn't mind dipping my hand in their font.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Christ is born; who's on my horn?", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "So many little plastic christmases ruined.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm born again again!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "You've practiced this so many times in the shower. Paper cut!", "c": ["Marge", "Ned"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Did anyone order a hero?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "You know how your paper boy always sends you a christmas card with his home address on it? What's up with that? I wanted you to tip me! No tip till they bring back hagar the horrible. That's not my decision. It's never anybody's decision.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Joseph, you know I have never lain with a man. Tell me about it.", "c": ["Mary", "Joseph"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "A pregnant virgin?! That's every man's worst nightmare.", "c": ["Joseph"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "That's not all she's full of.", "c": ["Joseph"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "So, not a doctor... well, he will be able to heal the sick. But nothing to hang on the wall.", "c": ["Mary", "Joseph"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "and myrrh, which I am re-gifting, 'cause who needs myrrh? Here's the tag.", "c": ["Wise Man"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "This is awkward. The king of the jews we seek is, a newborn child.", "c": ["Wise Man"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Now you wouldn't hurt the little boychik. Of course not. Kings don't hurt babies. Giant pointy swords hurt babies.", "c": ["Wise Man", "Herod"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Good king Herod! Except you don't really have the 'good,' so... what do you have, really, then?", "c": ["Wise Man"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I think my water just broke! You can have the barn. Now feel free to come by the main house for breakfast. There won't be any.", "c": ["Mary", "Innkeeper"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I've got some very good news. Caesar just invented the cesarean.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I've got the messiah's nose.", "c": ["Wise Man"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "He looks just like his dad. Not you! I'm not the father, I'm not a wise man, I'm nothing.", "c": ["Mary", "Joseph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "My wine turned into water! Who could have performed such a cruel miracle?", "c": ["Joseph"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 8.1, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Joseph, no! He has to stay alive till he's 33, when he'll be renounced by his friends and crucified. Sorry, kid.", "c": ["Mary", "Joseph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Anytime anyone suffers in the world, he starts crying again.", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Me? But I'm watching the orange bowl.", "c": ["Joseph"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "You like physical comedy? Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk... A... wise man? Pick two!", "c": ["Wise Man"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I think this nontraditional household just might make it.", "c": ["Joseph"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Manger danger!", "c": ["Joseph"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "The other tenants have been complaining about the incessant swaddling all hours, day and night.", "c": ["Innkeeper"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "What a boffo beginning for my book!", "c": ["Matthew"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "They put his halo on a duck. The oldest trick in the book. What the hell are you doing? Well, he does have a halo. Hail, quackie!", "c": ["Soldiers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "What a beautiful hanukkah bush! I say we call it a 'christmas tree.' A christmas tree... what a great name. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy.", "c": ["Joseph", "Mary"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "And did you know... That little baby Jesus grew up to be... Jesus? I know. It's weird, isn't it?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I don't know why I'm so run down. I must be low on christmas spirit. It's 'cause you're using regular batteries. You forgot about energizer ultra! Now let me crawl inside you. Cold... so cold.", "c": ["Energizer Bunny", "Other Character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "What are you doing in the chimney? Trying to kill Santa. What's it to ya?! What do you have against Santa? He screwed me over back in WWII!", "c": ["Bart", "Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Okay, Abe, let's win this war quick, so we can go home and slowly give black folks more rights.", "c": ["Cyrus"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Well, I don't usually drink after lunch, but... oh, my god! The sky is full of that kind of plane that crashes into the boat!", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Good thing I stole two of these off dead soldiers.", "c": ["Cyrus"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I'm talking to my best gal. I miss you, too, Bernadette. You hang up first. No... you hang up first. No. You hang up first.", "c": ["Radio Operator", "Bernadette"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "You'll pay for that, you haiku-spouting savages!", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I wish I tried reefer!", "c": ["Cyrus"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "On this island, military rank means nothing. We're in a state of nature where the strong of will control the weak.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "How dare you drown the king of New Burns Island!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. Months turned back to days.", "c": ["Abe (narrator)"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Hey, sailor, my eyes are up here.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Is this pomade? It's nothing really, just seagull brains and snail goo.", "c": ["Abe", "Burns"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "What in the name of the Tennessee valley authority?", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "He's german. That's good eatin'. You useless waste of socks!", "c": ["Burns", "Santa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Damn it! Sorry, chuckles, change of plan. This sleigh is my ticket off this hellhole. Because, at heart, I'm just a very wicked child.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "You backstabber! And I let you spoon me.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Somebody should have beat you with a tricycle years ago!", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "If I hadn't invented a jet ski made of coconuts, I'd have never gotten home.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Sorry I never called, Abe. I was too busy with my 15 native wives.", "c": ["Cyrus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "15! Whoa, that sounds like a lot of sex! I said wives, not girlfriends.", "c": ["Abe", "Cyrus"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "oh my god, it's over. We're free! It's not over. It's just intermission. I said we're free! we're still doing act two. I'll be the audience. Boo! This is terrible!", "c": ["Audience Members"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "This time of year, everybody does it, 'cause you don't have to pay for the music rights.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Why is this Santa suit so snug? Why should I care? It's all humbug I've jacked my prices up so high but there's no junk these saps won't buy", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "These holiday cookies swell my fat cat even though we're not gentile", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Fine. I'll spend christmas eve with the raccoons.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "You got me a gift? Rancid lard?! You shouldn't have.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "'Give the audience snowballs,' they said. 'It'll be cute,' they said.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Okay, time for my annual holiday tradition: Attempting to kill myself.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "Barn, as a special gift to me this year, will you kill me? But I already got you a wool hat. Maybe next year?", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I just have jerky made of trout.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "I knew you'd forget, so my gift to you is a gift for you to give me.", "c": ["Patty/Selma"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "18 wheels, and they all missed me.", "c": ["Hans Moleman"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 9, "et": "Simpsons Christmas Stories"}, {"t": "How often have you driven by a fire and thought, 'how can this benefit me?'", "c": ["Commercial announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Where there's smoke, there's bargains!", "c": ["Commercial announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Action figure puddle, something we think was an air conditioner", "c": ["Commercial announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I'm only here because my name had 'smoke' in it.", "c": ["Smokin' Joe Frazier"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I could send people to your house, bad people.", "c": ["Smokin' Joe Frazier"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Come on, we're going to that store, before the next commercial makes me do something else.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Stop, drop and save!", "c": ["Commercial announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I've never noticed that sign before. And I'm a very good noticer.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "What's next, a spatula tax?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Voila! Which is french for 'ta-da!'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Of course you're not-- We're in the same car. I just wanted us to start talking again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Damn it, we need those 75 cents-es to de-python the town fountain.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "No survivors. No shooting. But it's already cocked. All right, shoot it in the fireplace.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "What the hello kitty?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I'm trapped like the l in a blt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Don't worry, this one's on Jesus.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Today, 75 cents, in five years, 80!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Assuming voter approval.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "You don't have four anything.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I fell into a burning ring of fire", "c": ["Johnny Cash"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "A discovery so gruesome, we'll give you a moment to get the children out of the room. That's long enough.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Here's the one scientist who's always home when we call, professor John Frink.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Swinging for all, except for me. I was making napalm to drop on da nang!", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I got in to Juilliard?! I could have been second chair with the Cincinnati Pops!", "c": ["Mr. Largo"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I'm C-3 D-2. Shut up, shut up, shut up!", "c": ["Mr. Largo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "This says I ain't allergic to pollen. So I could have gone to the park and played with other kids!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Ticktock, ticktock, Ticktock banana a-b-c-d-e-f-g wash those june bugs off of me.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Ran away from all this? What a fool.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "This may be my last chance to invade her privacy.", "c": ["Abraham Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I don't know how she found the time with her late night pottery classes and supermarket trips that took all weekend.", "c": ["Abraham Simpson"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Why can't the government edit our mail like other countries?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "That would be a twist worthy of his increasingly lousy films.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Yeah, but that also works for the dog's butt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I sit by the trash so people have to come up to me.", "c": ["Abraham Simpson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "The only tummy ache is in my head.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "So, I infer from all the knickknacks, you're some sort of fruitcake.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Ooh, a dish of shrunken heads! Those are raisins.", "c": ["Homer", "Mason"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Well, my hat size is a number six. That is small, right? It's smaller than average.", "c": ["Mason", "Homer"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "980 on the am dial, but number one with our viewers. Viewers? Wouldn't that be for a tv station?", "c": ["Homer", "Mason"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I think you're my pappy!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Here's your gum back.", "c": ["Mason"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Good evening, dumb-asses. Tonight our guest is oscar nominee william H. Macy.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Besides bleeding.", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "He has a knife just for cheese, and he talks like this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "It's too soon to get so emotionally invested.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "The most valuable treasure is right here. On this map.", "c": ["Mason"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "You know, if I was born three months later, emerald would be my birthstone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "One of you was not praying. It was me. I was thinking of a joke I heard.", "c": ["Spanish sailor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Wow, that story had everything: Action, treasure, water, a guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I've dined with the prince of wales, and with killer whales, but only the latter knew how to chew without humming.", "c": ["Mason"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Perhaps I couldn't have stolen anyone, had you give them what they needed.", "c": ["Mason"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I'll take any test you want. Eye test, pap test, memory test, memory test, vinnie testaverde, Ferrari Testarossa...", "c": ["Abraham Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Then, bingo who's your daddy! Will become abundantly clear.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "See, Abe, we're still visiting you, even though we have no biological obligation.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "So, what setting is that fan on? Medium. I would've guessed low. You would've guessed wrong.", "c": ["Bart", "Abraham Simpson"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Missed a spot. There we go.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "That's what you get for being luminous, jerks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "What do I do? What do I do?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I love that little guy. What the heck...?", "c": ["Mason"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "They had to feed you through a tub.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "To hell with that stupid DNA test and its 99.99997% accuracy", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "I switched the names on the DNA samples. Then I put my name first on the list for a new heart. My old one's fine, but you never know.", "c": ["Abraham Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "Then I put my name first on the list for a new heart. My old one's fine, but you never know.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "No, Homer, mustn't touch. I said no, Homer.", "c": ["Abraham Simpson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "All right, nap time. But I'm not tired.", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 10, "et": "Homers Paternity Coot"}, {"t": "School hasn't even started yet. What can I say? I missed you, Myra.", "c": ["Bart", "Myra"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "How's things with you and Frank? That bum! He says his divorce will be final next week. So why is she pregnant again?", "c": ["Bart", "Myra"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Ah, 1995. A fine year for Camrys. No one would ever guess you spent three months in a lake.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Ay, caramba!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Thank you, satan.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "I don't mind! Trouble's a form of attention.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "You're usually so stingy and rat-like.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Well, I sued the rope company and I got a huge settlement... and a new rope!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "You could hang a cow with that thing!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "It's like we're in the school's lymphatic system and we're the lymph.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Look we're having pizza tomorrow! I'm gonna eat a lighter breakfast.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Yeah, it'd be like going to Amsterdam and not taking a walking tour of famous doors.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "What the F-minus?", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Look, a new kid! Get him!", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Our instruments are rusting! We're going a cappella, people!", "c": ["Music Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "I've got two kinds of wet in my pants!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "No water fountain outwits Willie!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "This wood is more buckled than a pilgrim's hat.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Sounds like my parents' custody hearing.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "This used to be a croissandwich. Now, it's a ham and cheese car crash.", "c": ["Myra"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "You're in Scottsdale? I'm in Scottsdale! At the Hyatt room 381! Get outta here! I'm in 502!", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers", "State Comptroller Atkins"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "You're in Scottsdale? I'm in Scottsdale! At the Hyatt room 381! Get outta here! I'm in 502! Hey, do you guys have any ice buckets down there? No, we've been using shower caps.", "c": ["Chalmers", "Atkins"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "They use a proven concept 'tough hate' to turn around foul-mouthed hooligans. Then they send them home, quietly ticking away.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Climbing some kind of rope thing. Wearing a backpack. High-fiving the black kid.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "No wires at all. Except this one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "What's your system? I don't tell your mother how much I've lost.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Nobody tells Bart Simpson what to do.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot, 33C. Now we all have to go back to Minneapolis, and I'm very tired.", "c": ["Flight Attendant"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Dang. Homer ain't coming. And Nelson saw something funny.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Stupid Bart makes me drive to Oregon, home of unspoiled forests, birthplace of Matt Groening.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "We'll get a monkey drunk and push him down the stairs.", "c": ["Fun Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "I'll kill you the way I killed intellectual Homer!", "c": ["Serious Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "I'll kill you the way I killed intellectual Homer!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "And every one was Stuart Little.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "I'm 38 years old, driving a crappy car, with a son who doesn't respect me, and I'm one Snickers pie away from losing my foot to diabetes. Mmm... Snickers pie!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "See, Bart? I told you things could be worse. I'm getting a sweatshirt with Shakespeare's face on it.", "c": ["Father", "Justin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Look at me! I use a napkin.", "c": ["Justin"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "They were eating melon for breakfast.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "You know, it's legal there for a guy to marry his son.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "But could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon mustache, five o'clock shadow made of bacon bits, and A... bacon body.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "How 'bout if I just shoved a pig down your throat?", "c": ["Waitress"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "But the bacon man lives in a bacon house! No, he doesn't!", "c": ["Homer", "Waitress"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "What?! No one dashie-dine on Stavros!", "c": ["Stavros"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Someone's hitting my butt with something! Is frying pan!", "c": ["Homer", "Stavros"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Leave your ass, Homer. Leave your ass.", "c": ["Stavros"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "which I am already wearing, for only 3.95?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "And that came from Mr. Flanders buying back his own stuff.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "I'm breaking in a new pair of flip flops, and my thong notch is on fire!", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Drugs in a bottle. I feel like Elvis Presley.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "It's for... a friend. Who's trapped in the body of another friend.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Can't talk now, Homer. I'm too satisfied in every way.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Shower you with love, because this experience has taught me just how precious you are. I'll kill you! I'll kill your whole family!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "That's the beauty of a shallow grave. You sweet little angel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "It's a reference to Ma Kettle. A popular movie character from the '40s. If you have to explain it, it's not good, chief.", "c": ["Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Being a father is just a job. Long hours, no pay, and at the end, all you get is someone yelling, 'you screwed me up'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Being a father is just a job. Long hours, no pay, and at the end, all you get is someone yelling, 'you screwed me up'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "This is a boy scout uniform that I dolled up.", "c": ["Camp Director"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer, you wanna eat my shorts?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "I bet this looks cool from overhead, though.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "I'm gonna order a steak dinner and eat it on the toilet!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "I'm gonna order a steak dinner and eat it on the toilet!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Also, I don't know where Bart is. If you see him, say 'hey.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "Well, Maggie, I always knew it would some day boil down to just you and me. I'll look for work in the morning.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 11, "et": "Were On The Road To Dohwhere"}, {"t": "I'm taking a leave of absence. I will return in the fall as Mr. Pommelhorst, your new shop teacher.", "c": ["Ms. Pommelhorst"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "We're telling you children now, so you can adjust and not make jokes.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Looks like there'll be some new wood in shop class!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Precisely the type of wordplay I seek to discourage.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "New wood.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Duck or die!", "c": ["Coach Krupt"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Bombardment, deal with it. Bombardment, life's a bitch, son. Bombardment! Walk it off. Bombardment! Bombardment!", "c": ["Coach Krupt"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Bombardment!", "c": ["Coach Krupt"], "jt": ["running_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Well, tell your regular bully. He won't like it one bit.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Marge, I ripped my pants, the only pants that understand my complex heinie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Normal wear and tear.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "My ass!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "I paid for 50 laps, and I'm going to take them!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "I'll have to go to every store in the pants district to find another pair like these.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "You cry like a little girl, Amy. Come on now; those were just baby teeth.", "c": ["Coach Krupt"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "'Bombardment! Bombardment! How do you like bombardment?' I'll show him.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Why did I put this in here? My saxophone!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "But my doctor says no more bombardment. Well, here's a second opinion.", "c": ["Coach Krupt", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Do your worst; I'm drunk. Well, welcome to A.A.: Always attacking.", "c": ["Nelson", "Coach Krupt"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Bart's got an ice ball. What is your major malfunction, Simpson?", "c": ["Student", "Coach Krupt"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Me shack, it's ruined! You red rubber home wrecker!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Don't be tantalizing me with tales of ravines and rusted-out cars. I'll only be getting me heart broke.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "I got to go. I finished nailing this board. Yeah, you're out of nails.", "c": ["Bart", "Willie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "I don't need your charity, not as long as I've got a pan over me head.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "That's not a pan, it's a colander.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "It's a sculpture made of children's lost retainers.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "It's lovely. I like this part in here, the way it, it goes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Me grandfather used to get sent down into the mines to make sure it was safe for the canaries.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.4, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "That's it.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "To have me shack rebuilt get my rotten teeth all drill't something on underneath me kilt wouldn't it be adequate?", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "I'm too far off the ground! Lisa, come up here and help me down!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Big blue pants. When you no longer care if you're attractive to women.", "c": ["Commercial narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "I'll kill ya! I'll kill ya for what ya done to me!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "You were born trash, and you'll be lucky if you grow up to be garbage!", "c": ["Willie's father"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Would you like to cut the cord? Let him cut it himself, it's time he learned life ain't one big party!", "c": ["Willie's father", "Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "That's as unlikely as Kearney going around the world in 80 days.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Eighty days... ample time to circum navigate the globe, booger breath. You, sir, have a wager!", "c": ["Kearney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Wrong way, dingus!", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "It's called 'headvertising.' It creates brand awareness without relying on traditional media.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "It's not supposed to.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "I'm not very cultured. I don't even have a last name!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "A talking mirror!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Meanwhile, I been paying for that billboard outside for a year now, and it's not yieldin' nothin'!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "I have the strangest feeling I've met him before.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "And you may meet him again, as your new father!", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "If you ask me, the royal shakespeare company's latest season was much ado about nothing.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Well, mother, aren't you glad you didn't get more intimate with him?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "For goodness sakes! How did I get up here?!", "c": ["Groundskeeper replacement"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "What's the 'd' for? Dimwit?", "c": ["Tough customer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "I don't need your charity titters. Now, say hello to my girlfriend, Charity Titters.", "c": ["Tough customer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Ay! El hombre invisible lleva pantalones azules!", "c": ["Bumblebee Man"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "These rolls are stale! Bombardment! Bring me some more! Bombardment! And, some iced tea for the lady, please. Bombardment!", "c": ["Coach Krupt"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "If I had your voice, I'd talk-sing everything.", "c": ["Barfly"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Dessert tray, that's a great gag. Can I use it? I'm taking it anyway!", "c": ["Perverted customer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "Heaven, I'm in heaven...", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "I liked it the way it was!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 12, "et": "My Fair Laddy"}, {"t": "This is a scam. We're on a nature walk!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Don't worry, Bart. I brought something that'll keep you interested-- a nickel in a water bottle!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "He'll sleep tonight. Where'd it go?! where'd it go?! It's in the cap.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Local Anahoopi indians believed this stalactite was the finger of Tsisnajini, their god of pointing down.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Silly indians. Our god made their god.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "It's so impressive. I'm just gonna get a tiny chip to put on my desk at work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Save me, Tsisnajini!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "I'm stuck! And I have to pee. Now I'm just stuck.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "We'll get that fireman who cut you out of that teacup ride. That was two firemen, a crane and snow white.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "That was two firemen, a crane and snow white.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "I hate to be alone! Except when I'm watching TV, then leave me alone. But right now, don't leave!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Hello, Mr. Bighorn sheep! I've read about you. You're shy, and you rarely approach humans.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "And of course you'd never attack a fellow herbivore!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Mad beast! Liberal midget!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Good lord! A wooly bully!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Enter password. Damn it! I forget! Forgot password? Enter place of birth. Pangaea. Correct.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "So long, sucker! I mean, don't leave an old man to die.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "No, he's out getting a spray-on tan. He comes back orange and stains the furniture. The man's a walking creamsicle!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Wait, wait, wait, wait... Now you're telling me Burns's story? Yeah it's like the play within a play in Hamlet.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Let's see... it's like when you watch old home movies of you watching TV.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Who's this dried-up ol' apricot?", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "I make money using my brain, not sticking a pole in the ground and praying for goo.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "You need to get your hands dirty, poindexter! Dip 'em in a little Texas crude!", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Down in Houston, we call that a fort worth shampoo!", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "At my age, that could kill me! How about we settle things with a scavenger hunt?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "I'm gonna win me a nucular plant! Dream on, bitch.", "c": ["Rich Texan", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "I'm bald!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "It's the boogeyman's grandfather! He's gonna drink our bones!", "c": ["Children"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Hey, bar-boy, this table's wobbly. Come jam your foot under it.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Hey, bar-boy, write a play where I meet Henry Ford and captain Kirk.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Hey, bar-boy, dance around like an idiot. Like this! I'm so stupid! I'm a little busy. Can I do it later? Sure! You're gonna be all I'm so stupid! I'm so stupid!", "c": ["Moe", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Treasure?! Moe has a cappuccino machine?!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "So to contin... ...ue with the sad sto... ...Ry of Moe's treasure.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "She had gossamer hair, limpid eyes and the rack of an angel.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Me? Well... I, for a living? Well, there's, all kinds of things a fella can do, such as hemming and hawing and, but me, I'm a highly respected... therapist for alcoholics.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Barney, how do you keep getting back in? I'm a drunk. I don't know nothing about how I do anything.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "As a result of which, Krabappel was letting me do her.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Lab partners don't treat lab partners like this! Shut up and attract lightning.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Don't pigeonhole us. We have other vices. I dress up like a baby.", "c": ["Barney", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Listen, boozebags, I got a good thing going here. If you mess it up, I will out the one of you that is gay.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "And if they're interested in wife-swapping, who am I to say no? Hey, I'm just the new guy.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "I totally have a donation for them. Coins money gold!", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "could you be any more pre-columbian?", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "You can't donate that gold to the museum today, because, it's closed, so they can clean under the wangs on the statues.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Love had handed me an awful dilemma. Should I rob this guy or rob him and kill him? I decided to do the right thing.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "And who would suspect me, professor Jailbird?!", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Back in a flash, my sweet little gargoyle!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "But fate likes to play a little game called up yours, Moe.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "That load of crap? No, I was just keeping her busy while Nelson stole microscopes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "sweet, misunderstood boys, who just need someone to recognize the basic goodness that's trapped inside them and is desperately trying to get out.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "I just sat there playing our song on the jukebox, one gold... coin at a time.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "I'm obsessive-compulsive! One, two, three, four. No nucular plant without a photo. One, two, three, four.", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Take me, a barren old thistle, and spare this sweet young flower.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "The sheep was no danger at all. I sacrificed my gorgeous body for nothing. This must be what it's like to have a baby.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Well, it was very moving, but the thing is, bats are chewing my legs!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Not long ago, it was my day to take care of the baby, so I was out in the forest, hiding.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "I figured he'd never miss two or three pieces... money which we could use to pay for Bart's operation.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "I need an operation? That's a story for another day.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Texas left, which is your 'down.'", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Coolest entrance gets the gold.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Is it okay that I brought my son? This is my day with him. Jeremy, there's a boy over there you can play with. Do you like XBox?", "c": ["Criminal", "Jeremy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Looks like we got us a mexican standoff.", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Moe, will the gold bring back Edna's love? It could. Definitely.", "c": ["Lisa", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Lady, I oughta fill you full of... gratitude!", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "At this point, all I want's a man with a healthy libido.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Moe can't catch a break! One, two, three, four. Can't catch a break. One, two, three, four.", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 13, "et": "The Seemingly Never Ending Story"}, {"t": "Why does god always need money? It's a lot of little stuff. God has to pay all the elves in his workshop. Plus he's got all those planets to support. Did you see that ring he gave saturn?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Who knew saints had such fat heads? It's all a big scam. This booth? No, religion in general.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Building a taller steeple than the one on that snooty episcopal church across the street. Reverend, why do we really need this? To compensate for my own sense of smallness.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "That's the new femac, the computer designed just for women. The 'you've got mail' voice is Susan Sarandon. You've got mail, unlike the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. Get informed.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "How can you be sure? 'Cause he wants it.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Someone's not on their mark. That's better. Go!", "c": ["Race Announcer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Protect the duck. D'oh! Protect the duck. Uh! PRoduck the tect.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Hey! This race is for rubber ducks, not meat ducks.", "c": ["Race Official"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "A living duck? I wished too hard and he became real.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "This is my favorite kind of surprise: Mild.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "The fact that you tried means everything. Hey, that's the same thing you said to Bart after he choked in that soccer game. And we both know he sucked. And how. But this is different.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "You know, all those complete strangers googling each other makes my flesh crawl.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Well, sir, we could do a little quid pro for the kaypro. That left-handed convention is in town and as the owner of Springfield's largest southpaw shop, I just got to be there. Could you nanny-goat my kid-diddly-ids?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Our last baby-sitter let them watch comedy central. Now Rod makes me check the closet every night for Rita Rudner. No Rudner.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Okay, game over. It's a tie. That means we both come in second. We're number two!", "c": ["Marge", "Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Wow, it's the big unit himself, Randy Johnson. You fanned more men than Salome. Yeah, I get that a lot.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Randy Johnson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "You have one for a mailman? A bear can't be a mailman. Now how many Dr. Bears do you want? They come in boxes of a thousand. One box. You and me got a problem.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Randy Johnson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "I'm a chimpmunk. I eat nuts without saying grace. I'm a permission slip.", "c": ["Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "And could you ask mommy to come to daddy in a dream and tell him how to cut our sandwiches? And please tell Mrs. Simpson it's rude to eavesdrop on our prayers. But we forgive her.", "c": ["Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Ready? Ready. And joust! That was awesome! Let's do it again. A canoe made of country ham? You know I'll eat it.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "What's wrong with your teeter-totter? Daddy says up and down see-saws are dangerous. Chocks?! Why don't we try it... freestyle.", "c": ["Bart", "Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "El mundo es loco!", "c": ["Rod or Todd"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "So, Marge, in tomorrow's game, I'm gonna recover a fumble just for you. Maybe you'll run it in for a touchdown. Don't pressure me. I get enough of that from my dad.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Dad, mom's over at the Flanders', baby-sitting nimRod and nimTodd.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "I want to go to the showbiz animal retirement home. They take in animals from the movies and tv that aren't cute anymore.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Do you think any of the gremlins from the gremlins movie are there? Sure. I am gonna get them so wet.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Sad? You're crazy. I feel like I'm at the oscars for the animals I forgot existed. Aflac!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "I'm not a real bear! That was just the name of my character. Now let me out! Hey, you know where the bathroom is? Maybe I do and maybe I don't.", "c": ["Yogi Bear", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Word on the street is: Cover the toilet seat with tissue. Sweet... sweet tissue.", "c": ["Unnamed Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "One of them played the out-of-control judiciary in a republican party commercial.", "c": ["Zookeeper"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "No, no, it's still 'kid-napped.' The prefix applies to the victim.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "A chimp that size could tear your son's head right off. But she'll leave the rest of him alone?", "c": ["Zookeeper", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Call me ned zeppelin, but is one of my boys abrased and contused? I cut myself on the knife, playing christian clue. The secular humanist did it in the schoolhouse with misinformation!", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Rod"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "I cut myself on the knife, playing christian clue. The secular humanist did it in the schoolhouse with misinformation!", "c": ["Rod or Todd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.19, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "They're all I've got since that sad day when maude found eternal happiness.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Well, their mascot is a kneepad wearing a helmet.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "You haven't seen Bart for a few hours, so you automatically assume I let something terrible happen. I didn't say that. I know what you think: When stupid Homer wasn't looking, Bart got kidnapped by a monkey.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Help me, Lisa! I have serious mental problems!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Sorry, lady. I've never eaten fresh fruit and I reckon I never will.", "c": ["Monkey"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "This oreo is rank.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Then i'll come back and feed the monkey a peach full of antifreeze.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "I'm not Ned. I'm a... friendly dog. I'm not a good liar.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "He chipped a tooth! How will he bite wheat thins? How?!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Local boy Bart simpson is being held hostage by an angry chimpanzee who has improved both his hygiene and posture.", "c": ["News reporter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "His so-called real mother could not be found for comment.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Well, we're gonna do what every kid your age likes to do: Look at bread. No! The 'n' word!", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Rod/Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Uno?! That's a gateway game to pinochle.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "She made us feel happy. And not church-happy. For real happy.", "c": ["Rod", "Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Lisa, monkeys don't have feelings. If they did, then my experiments could be called cruel.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Get me a lemur, or a marmot. Or Tom Greene, he's not doing anything these days. And really stick it to him on the money.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Okay, but don't let our hands touch. It's gay. What's 'gay' mean? It means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.", "c": ["Bart", "Rod"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Okay, but don't let our hands touch. It's gay. What's 'gay' mean? It means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.", "c": ["Bart", "Rod"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "I'm gay, daddy! I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay! I believe he's saying he's okay.", "c": ["Rod", "Ned"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.05, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "I haven't seen climbing like that since Dudley Moore married Susan Anton! Bob, why did I wait a hundred years to get you up here? You're tellin' me. Now I can look down Dolly Parton's dress whenever I want.", "c": ["Waldorf", "Statler"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 14, "et": "Bart Has Two Mommies"}, {"t": "Why the hell would he want to do that....blessed sacrament that has made my life so rich?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I like your hat, sweetie. / I'm not wearing a hat. / I mean, the one at the house.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Another party and we cain't go. Yeah. Just 'cause we's afraid of using the uppity box.", "c": ["Cletus", "Brandine"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Ain't no party like a Lenny party 'cause a Lenny party don't stop.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I got to work tomorrow. I better go. My god. How did Lenny get to be newsfake magazine's man of the year?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "That's just a souvenir from an amusement park. / What? / Next you'll be telling me he didn't meet Woody Woodpecker.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I dated the woman in that suit for three months. Then she left me for the guy who cleans the vomit off the roller coasters.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Hey, Lenny, I see you cut the celery at an angle here. Makes my straight-cut celery look like crap.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Attention, everybody! Please shut up! I know you're all wondering why you're here. The fact is, I'm dying... ...to tell you that I have adopted... ...a new faith... ...in the power of technological advances to make me happy.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I've never seen a picture so highly defined!", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 4.84, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Lenny, this tv is amazing. If you're not careful, I might just spend the rest of my life on your couch. / You don't mean that literally, of course. / You're right, Lenny. I...", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Lenny, bring me a beer and your deepest chamber pot. Chop-chop.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "You can see the soulless emptiness in that shark's eyes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Two and a half men. You can see the soulless emptiness in Charlie Sheen's eyes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Dad, please come home. We miss you. / Is that a high-def tv?! / Mom didn't say anything about high-def!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Later, if I have enough energy, we can walk up to the tv and I'll show you how thin it is. / Wow, there's a rainbow outside. / Oh, yeah? Well, right there's a commercial with a dancing cold sore.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Break out! Ha-ha! Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! Break out! Ha-ha! Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! Ha! Hoo-hoo! He-he-ha! Ha-ha!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "And bodell jenks the third crashes into bodell jenks! The winner is Bodell Jenks, junior!", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "wow, I can actually feel the heat. / Beat it. This is my alone time.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Can you at least take a picture of me with the tv? / I ain't fallin' for that again. / Yeah. Good times.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Stupid non-plasma tv. Picture so blurry. Might as well rub dirt in my eyes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Marge! I love you! I love you! I love you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Now i really hope we win that contest. / There's a chance we won't win?!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "My collection is complete. 40 years of the family circus.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Congratulations, Mr. Simpson. You've won. / The big screen tv? / No. No one wins that. You won third prize, a tour of the FOX network in los angeles, california.", "c": ["Contest Official", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "All expenses paid? / Look, I gotta go.", "c": ["Homer", "Contest Official"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Here's where we make the best damn sports show, period. And there's where we make 'the worst damn comedy show, period.'", "c": ["FOX Tour Guide"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "why look. There's Dan Castellaneta from the Tracey Ullman show.", "c": ["FOX Tour Guide"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Hey, funny man! Say something funny! / Please don't lean out of the tram, sir. You might get hurt. / Don't lean out of the tram...", "c": ["Homer", "Dan Castellaneta"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Here's where we develop our many reality shows. There's dwarf or midget: America decides, and million dollar fart-off.", "c": ["FOX Tour Guide"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Mother Flippers? What's this show about? / This is a reality program, dear, where we take wives from two very different families and they trade places for a month.", "c": ["Marge", "FOX Tour Guide"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I already saw that exact same show on another network. / Here, sweetie, have a FOX sweatshirt. / This is an abc sweatshirt. / Yeah, and it zips all the way up.", "c": ["Marge", "FOX Tour Guide"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Spray 'em down!", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? Take a look at my dvd. They'll never let me near lake havasu again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I'm signing us up for a reality show where we trade you to another family.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Well, that might be interesting. Or it could damage many, many lives.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "And if you say yes now, it'll make a great act break.", "c": ["Producer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I'll do it! / Perfect. But could you say it again with more emphasis on the 'I'll'? / I'll do it. / No, no, go back to the first way. / I'll do it. / Wait, I wasn't happy with that. You know what, just do it the way it feels comfortable to you. / I'll do it. I'll do it!", "c": ["Marge", "Producer"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I'll... do... it. / How was that? / We'll get it later.", "c": ["Marge", "Producer"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Verity, who will be your new mom, is the youngest-ever full professor at yale. / I got my tenure at 28. / Oh, really? Bart, when did you get your tenure? / I got my tenure right here. / Yeah, well I have full tenure.", "c": ["Host", "Verity", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "We better pixelate those. / There aren't enough pixels in the world! / Yeah, just cover it with Ryan seacrest's head.", "c": ["TV Crew"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "This is Charles. You can call me Charlie. But do not call me late when there are scones about.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "It's a little british humor. / I'll bet the twist is he's gay.", "c": ["Charles", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Tv. / But dad... / yes, tv-sa? / Forget it.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Listen up, stonehenge. I made a drawing of the places on Marge you can't touch. Especially the hair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Oh, you needn't worry. I'm a bit of an elbow man, myself, actually. A bit different, a bit weird. Not sexual.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "You take forever to say nothing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "You know, you don't seem like the money-hungry semi-stripper who's usually on FOX. Why'd you do it?", "c": ["Verity"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Well, I thought there was no further way I could humiliate my husband, and then this opportunity came along.", "c": ["Verity"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Charles hasn't satisfied me in years. / Yeah, that's how I feel about Notre Dame football. Cruel, dusty years.", "c": ["Verity", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "So, Charles, what do you do for a living? / Well, I'm an office manager, and, no, I didn't even get a promotion today, again. So, go on, go ahead. Disembowel me with your pointy, pointy words.", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Really? You manage a whole office? / Yes. Yes. Yes I do, actually. / Well, that's very impressive.", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Does that include the people and the furniture? / Yeah, and I decide where the christmas party's held. Actually, it's decided by committee, but, you know, I choose the committee.", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Hello. / I don't, I don't choose the committee as such, but, you know, I choose where they meet. This year I am thinking of conference room 'C.'", "c": ["Homer", "Charles"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "That leaves 'a' and 'b' available for overflow. / Well done!", "c": ["Charles", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Bart, I told you no television till you do the dishes. / And I do not call that doing the dishes.", "c": ["Verity", "Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "well, my mom says why bother punishing me, I never learn.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Disgusting. Young man, I'm going to turn that cartoon into homework!", "c": ["Verity"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Help me, cameraman. / I let you smoke a cigarette in my bedroom. / That was a joint. And I have a name. It's Doug.", "c": ["Bart", "Cameraman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "'Then itchy used an ice cream scoop to scoop out scratchy's heart and make it a sundae. The end.' Now, Homer, would you care to give your report on CSI: Miami?", "c": ["Verity", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "'there's this guy that got killed. I think it was in Miami. So CSI: Miami investigated-ed it. Then a family said how much they loved the olive garden. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up, Letterman was talking to Alias.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "That's wonderful. Indeed. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a mandarin chinese lesson. Xie xie. Zai jian.", "c": ["Verity"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "He's a very impressive boy. / The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. / A tree that's been alone for far too long.", "c": ["Verity", "Charles"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I don't get it. / Are you saying you're the tree? / Maybe. / Are my roots showing? / Wordplay, brilliant.", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Would you like to hear a joke? / As long as it's not a knock-knock joke. I always ruin them by saying, 'come in.'", "c": ["Charles", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "You see, this man, he finds a magic lamp, and a genie comes out. / That's funny. / That's just the setup. / Well, you've set me up, for laughs down the road. / So the genie says, 'I'll give you three wishes, but whatever you get, your wife gets double.' / Okay? Remember that. / How nice for her.", "c": ["Charles", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Now, here's the humor. The man says, 'I want a new car. The genie says, 'your wife gets two.' Okay, remember the double? The man says, 'I want a new house.' So the genie says, 'your wife gets two.' So the man says... 'beat me half to death.'", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "It's funny. Don't you get it? 'Cause she gets double, so if he gets beaten half to death, the wife would be beaten to death.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "That sounds horrible. / I agree, terrible. Offensive towards women. Little amusing, don't you think? / No! / Me, either. Spousal abuse. It's, uh, it's a real problem. It's not funny. It's tragic, if anything so...", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "well, I liked the genie part. That was fun. / You think so? / Yes, I could really picture him. With curly shoes and smoke all over the place.", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "You're a born storyteller. / Well, yeah, I suppose I am, yeah. / Yeah, not a murderer. / No.", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Would you like to hear another joke? / I sure would. / Let me just get us some iced tea.", "c": ["Charles", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "One more kind word from her and I am completely smitten.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Your toaster takes bagels. How ritzy. / And there we have it.", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "what's that delicious smell? / I'm burning all your underwear.", "c": ["Homer", "Verity"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "what's with the kimono? 'Are we having Lachoy?' No Marge, I was just sitting around drinking Vermouth and contemplating how, just when you're drowning in a pit of despair, life can throw you a beautiful blue life preserver.", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I thought life preservers only came in orange. Because wouldn't it be hard to see blue in the ocean?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa. No logic. Not tonight.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "How long do we have to stay here? / Till I'm sick of drinking these, and I'm never sick of drinkin' these.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Did I tell you I'm a bit of a songwriter? Words and music, hold the applause. I wrote this song for a woman. You. / What an odd thing for a man who's not interested in me to do. / Yes. Not interested. Let me just breathe your scent for a moment before I play.", "c": ["Charles", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Lady when you came to me, I was feeling blue blue just like your hair, you see blue just like the moon but only when the moon is blue and not when it is cream", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "and now that you are here with me I am in a dream oh, Yeah, Marge, your dreams can come true.", "c": ["Charles", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Lady, when you go away I feel like I could die not like dye like your hair is dyed but die like Lady Di and not Like Di like her name is Di but die like when she died.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "But lady just like lady di be my princess tonight but don't die don't die. No way.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "That song was very nice. / How'd you think up so many rhyming words?", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Marge, I love you. And I can tell from your basic level of courtesy that you love me, too.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Listen, Charles, I don't want to hurt your feelings... / because you love me, right? Admit it. We were born to fall into each others' arms on reality tv.", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, but I love Homer.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Of course you do. He's a real man, not like me, a miserable toad under the thumb of the biggest bitch this side of the Westminster Kennel Club.", "c": ["Charles"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Charles, please, your son might see this. / He's not my son. His real father is either the pool man or my wife's lover. They're the main two candidates I've narrowed it down to. Pretty sure.", "c": ["Marge", "Charles"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "Elle m'a fait passer du temps avec les enfants. Et le temps pour la t\u00e9l\u00e9vision est devenu un temps de dialogue.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 15, "et": "Homer Simpson This Is Your Wife"}, {"t": "I thought it was about her boobs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Well, it's a cinch Springfield won't be that lucky city.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Yeah, the only thing we're known for is leading the country in heart attacks.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I've had enough of your stinkin' thinkin'. I, Homer Simpson, will personally bring the new pro football franchise to Springfield.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "God, we have fun.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "what the Hellmann's real mayonnaise?!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "It's the duff beer krustyburger buzz cola costington's department store kwik-e-mart stupid flanders park.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Maybe Homer brush teeth first?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I love L.A.", "c": ["Commissioner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "'I'll have what she's having' was one of the lines.", "c": ["Rob Reiner"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Springfield has Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Springfield takes in garbage from other cities.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Some of hollywood's biggest stars have taken the time to sign waivers allowing celebrity impersonators to sing in this video.", "c": ["Rob Reiner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Springfield don't make nothin' because Springfield blows", "c": ["Celebrity Impersonators"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I'm sick of L.A.! They got earthquakes, wildfires, bennifers, brangelinas, and that potty mouth, Sarah Silverman!", "c": ["Female Commissioner"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I didn't kill my husband to get control of his franchise to give a team to Los Angeles!", "c": ["Female Commissioner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go tell my gay grandson I still love him.", "c": ["Female Commissioner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I've got melt mania! I got downs syndrome!", "c": ["Fans"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Who ya talkin' to? Your imaginary girlfriend? / Isn't your mother a well-known whore? / You win this round, Mel.", "c": ["Kent Brockman", "Mel"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Did I ever tell you people about the time I met Lloyd Bridges? / Yeah, you passed him in the airport. / Yes, but which airport? / Hartsfield in Atlanta.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Citizens"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Criminals who prey on the elderly people who watch this program.", "c": ["TV Show"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "If i knock him out, I'll be a hero. And people will listen to my loose-brained nonsense.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, did I just say 'Wiggum'? I... I meant 'wigwam.'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Maybe he's thinking of a new shape for the football.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Not so tough when someone hits you from behind with golf club, are ya?", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I thought he was trying to steal my jewels and all them pictures of Bert and Lucy.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "You're a useless old man. Name one thing you do for this family. / I watch the baby. / Where is the baby? / You left me with a baby?!", "c": ["Homer", "Abe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Nobody loves you when you're old and gray / nobody needs you when you're upside down / everybody's hollering about their own birthday / everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Euthanasia? No way! I want to die with dignity. Like slipping in the shower and then they find me two weeks later, swollen up so bad, they don't know if I'm man or sofa.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Aw, I think you're cute, too.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Yeah, and we're cleaning out the death machine today. A lot of gunk gets stuck in it.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "If you go, can I have your blanket and your liver? / Blanket? Sure. / Liver? Never!", "c": ["Jasper", "Abe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Well, first of all, they're all perfect. Also, when's the Cap'n crunch movie coming out? And will it be 'r' or 'hard r'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "President visits Europe?! On my dime?!", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Who's Fred Kanickee? / My appointment before you. / Nice guy. / Just a little... / Little screwed up.", "c": ["Abe", "Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I want to hear the Glenn Miller orchestra, and I want to see cops beating up hippies.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I want to hear the Glenn Miller orchestra, and I want to see cops beating up hippies.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I'll kill you all! / When the law's reversed. / Ha, I'd like to see you try! / When the law's reversed.", "c": ["Doctor", "Lou"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I think you know my brother-in-law, Fred Kanickee. / Hoo, boy.", "c": ["Lou", "Doctor"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I'm dead! I never felt so alive! And I got my 16-year-old body back!", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "That's odd. You'd think they'd come back as the cows.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Charlie Chaplin? They sure put you to work. / You said it. / And you can talk! / Good for you.", "c": ["Abe", "Charlie Chaplin impersonator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "So who went berserk, fatso or the little guy?", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "God wants us to die of old age after years of pain and reduced mobility.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "You're all going to die in a pointless war.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "No, wait, wait! Bullfighting is a cruel pseudo-sport. / Lisa's right. / It is a cool, super sport.", "c": ["Lisa", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "If the bull dies, the crowd goes wild. If grampa dies, the crowd goes wild. Either way, we make a fortune on souvenirs and snacks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Can we bring outside food? / Not even gum.", "c": ["Fan", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Ole! A penny. This is my lucky day.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "We'll bring you the bull's heart, sweetie.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Like the fear I feel that I have left the iron on at home. Have I? Have I?!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I'd look pretty stupid in this outfit walking around fighting oysters.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "A girl named Linda. / No, Lisa.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Hurry up and kill it! I have to be at the opera by 7:00!", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I don't get what he's doing, and I'm smart. Not book smart or street smart or brain smart, but something.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I don't get what he's doing, and I'm smart. Not book smart or street smart or brain smart, but something.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "Please, no. I have a wife and three girlfriends.", "c": ["Man being chased by bull"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "If you let me go, I give you free large pizza pie with purchase of same. Offer not good tuesday through sunday. We're closed on monday.", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "You're just here to test the microphone. / Fred Wilson, my brother Bill, Dom Dimaggio, the paper boy, Howdy Doody, Josef Stalin...", "c": ["Aide", "Abe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 16, "et": "Million Dollar Abie"}, {"t": "I'm not sittin' up front with you guys. It's bad for your eyes. Suckers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Mo-vie! Mo-vie! Mo-vie! Mo-vie! Mo-vie!", "c": ["Plant workers"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "The american worker: Proud, tough, hardworking. And tired! These jobs are killing us. Outsourcing, take them away!", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "It's a miracle! They moved our factory to a third-world nation. Now I have more time to play the lottery. Ka-ching!", "c": ["Factory worker"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "No, no. Your jobs are safe. They'll just be done by someone else in another country.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "So, congratulations, whoever catches this bouquet!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Woo-hoo! I win! In your face, best friends!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Luxury? This thermostat is just painted on.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Dad, that's Mac tonight. / Yeah? Well, while I'm gone, you'll do what he says.", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Richard Dean Anderson.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "You finally came to our convention! / No. I'm looking for the convention for my new show, Stargate: SG1.", "c": ["Fan", "Richard Dean Anderson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "That show was so stupid. 'Oh, I'm MacGyver. I can make a bomb out of a banana peel and a toaster.' That show was just a paycheck to me, and nothing more.", "c": ["Richard Dean Anderson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Richard Dean Anderson just pissed off the wrong Richard Dean Anderson fans!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "How could he say that? Macgyver is my world. Richard Dean Anderson just pissed off the wrong Richard Dean Anderson fans!", "c": ["Patty", "Selma"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Wait, wait. I have some even more exciting news! There is a girl in the audience! Everybody look for her!", "c": ["Convention announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "This is a kilt, and I'm not a girl! / You're as close as we'll ever get! Get him!", "c": ["Willie", "Convention fans"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "You can write 'help me' all you want. No one will ever see it.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "India air flight 57 now boarding first class, small children and fat guys. / That's me!", "c": ["Announcer", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "I've never been less angry to receive a book.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "You ignorant american, you have confused India with Indiana, Indiana with Illinois, and the Cubs with the Dodgers.", "c": ["Indian man"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "No! I took a job on the other side of the world!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "A cow took my iPod and I punched it!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Baby, did you lose weight?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Come on, baby, don't play hard to milk.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "I had to get out before another one of your bristly kisses.", "c": ["Richard Dean Anderson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "I had to get out before another one of your bristly kisses.", "c": ["Richard Dean Anderson"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Then I remembered the blue contacts I wear to hide my latino heritage.", "c": ["Richard Dean Anderson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Then I remembered the blue contacts I wear to hide my latino heritage.", "c": ["Richard Dean Anderson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "A-bra-cada-bra.", "c": ["Richard Dean Anderson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "And not just at 2:00 A.M. On the USA network.", "c": ["Richard Dean Anderson"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Well, is there anything in this bar that's made in America? / Just this. / God! Misfire!", "c": ["Barney", "Moe", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Hindu. / What do you call the moisture on your hin? / Classic.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Mr. Burns", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "In business as in breakfast, fried eggs have fragile yolks.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Outsourcing.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "IBM help line, this is Brian. Have you tried disabling your firewall? / Dallas fort-worth marriott. How can I help y'all? Well, we have a cotton bowl special. Go aggies! / This is queen mama jumbo. The stars tell me you have a question. No, jenny, don't be dating that boy. The bones don't lie. He's bad mojo, girl.", "c": ["Apu's cousin"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Ibm help line, this is Brian. Have you tried disabling your firewall?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Dallas fort-worth marriott. How can I help y'all? Well, we have a cotton bowl special. Go aggies!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "A nail file, a farmer's almanac, a gun with no bullets, some bullets and three of my MacGyver writers.", "c": ["Richard Dean Anderson"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Having only one pancake leaves room for more bacon.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "I'm not a god. God has a white beard and invented the Da Vinci Code.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Let's see... got the elephant man.. Johnny Six-Arms, papa Smurf.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "I won a free soda! I am a god!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "I won a free soda! I am a god!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Those are corpses. / You never like my friends.", "c": ["Smithers", "Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Both doors have tigers! / One of those tigers is named Homer simpson.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "We didn't have any ground beef. Yeah, but you did have slim jims, a cheese grater and rubber bands to hold it all together.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Martin"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "We didn't have any ground beef. Yeah, but you did have slim jims, a cheese grater and rubber bands to hold it all together.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "This is Selma in line at the luray caverns. It turned out it was the line for the ladies' room. This is the ladies' room.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "This olive garden coupon! It expires at midnight. / You're not holding a coupon. / MacGyver away!", "c": ["Richard Dean Anderson", "Comic Book Guy", "Richard Dean Anderson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "What did he write that in? / Grape juice and tears.", "c": ["Fan", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "You know, Smithers, 'I told you so' has a brother. His name is 'shut the hell up'!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Yeah, what's mom's birthday? / It's... jan... feb... mar... it's may! May! Fir... secon... thir...", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Overtime pay. Coffee breaks. Flex time. Casual fridays. On-site daycare. Low dental co-pays. Muffin baskets on your birthday. With mylar balloons.", "c": ["Workers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "A-bom-shabai means 'vote union.' A-bom-shabai.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Workers"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Maybe you should take a personal day. Take one of mine. They are transferable.", "c": ["Indian worker", "Indian worker"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "But treating employees like human beings, that is madness!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "How's chief Wiggum? / He was gravely wounded in a bank shootout. / Yeah, he's funny.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Lisa Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "You're the first man to ever outsource the american worker's sense of entitlement and privilege.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "Two months severance! Early retirement! Golden parachutes for all!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 17, "et": "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"}, {"t": "See, it goes ship's wheel, popeye tattoo, gilligan hat, fish with boobs and back to ship's wheel.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "What about this swordfish? My life's work ruined!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Red lobster? Not that good.", "c": ["Sea Captain", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Yes, the ship that brought prostitutes to America.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I've got my toy wood lump. What jolly fun.", "c": ["Bart-as-Puritan-child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Out of my way, you god-fearing buckleheads!", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "He's wanted for daring to question why we call this the jacobean era when the king's name is James and not Jacob.", "c": ["English-soldier"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Oh, lord, please let the soldiers kill this family instead of me.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Then the codpiece holds no terrors for thee.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "What kind of a booze cruise is this? Where's the hooch?", "c": ["Barney-as-Puritan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "We puritans have no place for drunkenness... or colorful clothes or dreaming or poetry. So if you write a sonnet, keep it under your bonnet.", "c": ["Ned-as-Puritan-leader"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Oh, no! That was a poem! Forgive me, lord!", "c": ["Ned-as-Puritan-leader"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Constance Prudence Chastity Goodfaith. My friends call me Marge.", "c": ["Marge-as-Puritan-widow"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I didn't kill her husband just so... I mean, I-I didn't kill her husband.", "c": ["Bart-as-suitor"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Such language from a woman. Oh, no! I just thought of you as a woman!", "c": ["Ned-as-Puritan-leader"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "The sun which bakes our lips to the point of bleeding and your hilarious idea to surround us with water that would kill us if we drank it.", "c": ["Ned-as-Puritan-leader"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Even for this day and age, I'm considered a bad husband.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "She's going to marry him 'cause he wears boots instead of blackening his feet.", "c": ["Barney-as-Puritan"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sure the way to win her heart is to be fat and crying.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Don't stop. You're choking him just the way his father used to. Good times.", "c": ["Barney-as-Puritan"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Yes, the weather is fair.", "c": ["Marge-as-Puritan-widow"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Man! That guy sends my humors from sanguine to bilious! That's how we talk. Weird?", "c": ["Bart-as-suitor"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Beer? I thought you guys didn't drink on the gayflower?", "c": ["Barney-as-Puritan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I was saving this booze to mess up the indians, but seeing what good pals we are, I wanted to give you a taste.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Take a sip every time a wave hits the ship. You're good at this.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man", "Ned-as-Puritan-leader"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Obviously, kissing your ass is getting me nowhere.", "c": ["Ned-as-Puritan-leader"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Sin, sin, sin! Horseplay? Roughhousing? Horsehousing?", "c": ["Ned-as-Puritan-leader"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "But, baby, a man has needs.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "When we landed I was going to denounce my sister as a witch.", "c": ["Lisa-as-Puritan-child"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "31 + 43? 74. Witch, witch, witch!", "c": ["Bart-as-Puritan-child", "Lisa-as-Puritan-child"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I've been driving drunk since I was 12.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I'll see to it you fundamentalist christians live to take over all America by the 21st century.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Man, that bird did it all. Good guy.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I just thought of a name for where we're going. New England. That's real creative. What do you call your foot, 'new hand'?", "c": ["Bart-as-Puritan-child", "Lisa-as-Puritan-child"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Land ho! What did you call me?", "c": ["Sailor", "Barney-as-Puritan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I, almost regret what we europeans are going to do to you.", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Also we're going to take your land and wipe you out. Who wants whipped topping?", "c": ["Homer-as-wanted-man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Well, one time I read this boring comic book about a ship called the bounty. Like the paper towels.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Bligh... eats... dolphin... boogers.", "c": ["Bart-as-Christian"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "When you eat as much dolphin as I do there's bound to be a booger or two in the mix.", "c": ["Captain-Bligh-Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "My father's alive? No, he died while baking. It's all in the letter.", "c": ["Milhouse-as-sailor", "Captain-Bligh-Burns"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Mutiny? On the bounty? What have you been smoking? Opium. Besides that?", "c": ["Captain-Bligh-Burns", "Bart-as-Christian"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Because we have no way of communicating with the outside world.", "c": ["Chief-Wiggum-as-Tahitian"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Tell me, has Robert Fulton invented the steamboat yet? Any day now.", "c": ["Chief-Wiggum-as-Tahitian", "Bart-as-Christian"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I'm telling you, I don't look like that. Make another. Yes, lord ugly-face.", "c": ["Captain-Bligh-Burns", "Tahitian-artist"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I order you to forget it.", "c": ["Captain-Bligh-Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Rounder! I hear edges!", "c": ["Captain-Bligh-Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "You don't sound like you've ever been on a boat in your life.", "c": ["Captain-Bligh-Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "You made it from the head of the last guy who had a suggestion.", "c": ["Bart-as-Christian"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Row, row, merrily, merrily, bound the down gently down the... merrily down the... I cannot do it! I'm only one man.", "c": ["Groundskeeper-Willie-as-sailor"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Swim faster or I'll have you made into soup.", "c": ["Bart-as-new-captain"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "You call this deep?", "c": ["Captain-Bligh-Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Those are penguins.", "c": ["Crew-member"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Oh, boy, do I suck? Yeah.", "c": ["Bart-as-captain", "Crew-member"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Disco fever! The only cure is to do a little dance, make a little love... get down tonight. Wait a minute. What was the second one?", "c": ["Disco-Stu"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Ten-four, good buddy. I'm Chevy Chase and you're not. Willy Stargell!", "c": ["Captain-Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Your mission today involves going undercover at a wet t-shirt contest. Just get you wet... maybe not so lovable.", "c": ["Charlie's-Angels-parody", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Our son shlomo is working on a kibbutz in haifa. We're schlepping him some kreplach. We're jewish, all right!", "c": ["Jewish-couple"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I think we're heading for disaster and most of you will not be saved unless the captain is attentive we'll all be crushed by a huge wave...", "c": ["Band-members"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "My wig! I mean, my natural hair!", "c": ["Captain-Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Mama mia! What a time to be carrying the soup.", "c": ["Luigi-as-chef"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Cool! No gravity!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Goin' out with a sight gag. Nice.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I got an idea: Climb into my mouth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Lord, with you watching over me, I shall feel no pain. AAAHHHHH!", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Homer, the ship's upside down and hundreds of people are dead! ...Three... two... one... Happy new year!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "'Aw's are cheap. I'm lookin' for some action.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "So, now which way do we go in this farkaktah-flippity ship?", "c": ["Jewish-man"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "What? I have great ass suction.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I'll use my swiss army bone.", "c": ["Santa's-Little-Helper"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I'm alone again... naturally", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Don't tell me what to do.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "I don't know which pains me more: The flame or the irony! Can you believe it's the irony?", "c": ["Comic-Book-Guy"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "At last I'm not gay for skeleton Kearney. Our ribs got tangled 75 years ago. That's not gay. Right. You keep believing that.", "c": ["Skeleton-Jimbo", "Skeleton-Kearney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 18, "et": "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"}, {"t": "Dad, taking the family to opening night is the nicest thing you've ever done for us. Or will ever do.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Hey, it says here the book was written by Tom Stoppard. / This isn't a book, it's a play. / Book.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "They're coming down the aisles. What if they want to interact with me? Looking through my purse, looking through my purse.... keep walking, monkey. Don't worry, mom, they all passed by.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "...the circle of... knife!", "c": ["Performer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "I love the use of streamers as blood. It robs the violence of its power. / I'm drenched in blood!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Hey, check it out! I'm scratcher or something!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Well, I remember getting a 'b' or two in math. / Well, of course you did. You are a girl.", "c": ["Juliana", "Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "There, that should put the matter behind us.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "I don't know why girls are worse. One thing we can all agree on, though, this little lady surely looks pretty tonight. Am I right?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Don't worry, I have a plan: Pretend I agree with them. / Well, you'd better hurry. Look what they've done to your car. / No, that's how it always looks. / How sad.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers", "Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "What is the source of this 'illusion,' or as I call it, the biggest lie ever told? / You're a worse version of Hitler!", "c": ["Skinner", "Protester"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "See?! The principal's a tranny. / Am I wearing women's clothes? I didn't notice.", "c": ["Protester", "Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "It's the differences, of which there are none, that make the sameness exceptional. / Just tell me what to say.", "c": ["Skinner", "Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Yes, yes, yes, I said 'diarrhea.'", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "This rocks! No more stupid girl classes, like ballroom dancing. / No, that's still mandatory for everybody. / Willie?", "c": ["Bart", "Willie", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Now, this is why I got into education.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Now I can walk down the hall with 'Bart junior' hanging out. / Isn't that right, Bart junior?", "c": ["Bart", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Well, do you know what a man invented? Actual paper. / Which goes great with another male invention: the car.", "c": ["Homer", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Why did women invent sleeping on the couch?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "All right, I'm going to open this cage, but no biting! / You're not the boss of my teeth!", "c": ["Willie", "Boy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Cathy Guisewite!", "c": ["Girl"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "How do numbers make you feel? What does a plus sign smell like? Is the number seven odd...or just different?", "c": ["Melanie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Sounds like you're trying to derail our 'self-esteem engine.'", "c": ["Melanie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "He forgot the volume of the carrot nose, one-third base times height. / Math, I have missed you!", "c": ["Lisa", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "I don't have any opinions anymore. All I know is that no one is better than anyone else, And everyone is the best at everything. / Not you. You're the worst! Now get poisonin' those squirrels.", "c": ["Skinner", "Willie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Come on, baby. The only math you need is you plus me equals forever. / Oh, Homey!", "c": ["Young Homer", "Young Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Mom, I don't think this will fool anybody. / Hey, who's the rude dude with the attitude?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "You never take our kids to the movies. / Let's not fight in front of my cool new friend.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "I'm... Jake. / That's your christian name. What's your surname? / Y...man. Jake Boyman.", "c": ["Lisa (as Jake)", "Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "You have Toilet paper on your shoe. / yeah, I guess I do. I'm going to call you 'Toilet.' / My name isn't Toilet. It's Jake. / Hey, a talking toilet!", "c": ["Jimbo", "Lisa", "Jimbo", "Jimbo"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "A robot with guns for arms shooting a plane made out of guns that fires guns.", "c": ["Boy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Oh, my god, I was wrong! And by being corrected, I learned! And no one cared about my feelings!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Lisa? Yeah, we totally had a thing, but I had to break it off. / What the hell are you talking about?! / She got too clingy. Milhouse doesn't do clingy.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Lisa", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Nelson, you're not really angry at me. You're full of rage 'cause your father abandoned you. And because you're poor, so you don't feel like you're good enough. You just want somebody to say 'I love you.' / I love you. / I love you, too, Nelson.", "c": ["Lisa", "Nelson", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Hey, every joke has a kernel of truth!", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Hey, no one with a choice should ever have to be a girl. / You'd do that for me? That is so sweet. / You're a boy, nothing is sweet. / That hurt. / Sweet.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Bart", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "I am looking, and don't start a puke war that you cannot finish.", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Sometimes when I'm with you, I feel like I'm doing it with a dude.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "At least everyone knows I'm smarter than you. / Ho, how did this happen?", "c": ["Santa's Little Helper", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "At least everyone knows I'm smarter than you. / Ho, how did this happen?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Now I've been every ball on the playground!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Even though you're only eight, your possibilities are infinite. / 27!", "c": ["Lisa", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Give me your lunch money. / Okay! / I guess I'm gonna have to get this party started. / Forgive me for this. / Okay!", "c": ["Lisa", "Ralph", "Lisa", "Lisa", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Thank you. Or should I say thank you!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "We've been Yentl'd!", "c": ["Boy"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Toilet is Lisa?! / We've been Yentl'd!", "c": ["Students", "Student"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "The only reason Lisa won is because she learned to think like a boy! I turned her into a burping, farting, bullying, math machine!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "I got hit by boy Lisa and girl Lisa.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Chair fight!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "Now enjoy your stupid flautist.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 19, "et": "Girls Just Want To Have Sums"}, {"t": "We do it without asking, and then they have to pay.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Answer me, or I'll drop ya like a bad cell phone plan!", "c": ["Unknown neighbor"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Sorry. This thing goes off on its own. Anyway, you were sayin'?", "c": ["Unknown neighbor"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "That really classes the joint up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "I struck oil!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "When do we tell him that's not oil? Let him have his fun.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Only ten dollars to paint my curb like a common whore?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "That's not a scam! That's honest work for honest pay! No!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Well, then we're gonna leave you one digit short.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Visual gag: Homer paints elaborate '74 Oakland A's tribute instead of house number", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "But, sweetie, I just wanted to tell the '74 Oakland A's how I felt about them.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Look, that guy remembers us! Hey, sal bando, give him a '74 a's 'thank you honk.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "On second thought, I am Brenda Winecooler.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "74? Oh, sorry. There's been a mistake.", "c": ["Delivery man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Son, all our mail has ever brought me is bad things: Bills, jury duty, Entertainment Weekly.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Oh, dad, no one can rationalize like you.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Mark and Tracy, I remember the first words I heard you say: 'I do.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "That's what I heard, but he's so confident in his movements.", "c": ["Wedding guest"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "The lid from my coffee cupis long gone. I'm scared, people. Truly scared.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Take that, liberal media.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Take that, liberal media.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Marge, I don't have to sit here and listen to your insane ravings about me getting other people's mail.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Don't be so naive, Lisa. Those people all talk to each other.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Not a fine upstanding head hair, but a curly-wurly!", "c": ["Professional cleaner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "I don't want that judgmental bitch in my house!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Et tu, Zud?", "c": ["Professional cleaner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "My head feels like it was punched by a boxing man.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Now I'll put them back in the jar.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "until your amnesia goes scram-nesia", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "You're sweet. I'm lucky to have such a kind... uncle?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "But you're so much more... ravaged than I am.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "I'm Lisa, I'm eight years old, and this might sound presumptuous, but... I'm your favorite.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "I'm your favorite. You seem sweet, but I could never have a favorite.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Hi. I'm Bart. I'm ten years old and a professional motocross jumper. Can you buy me a motocross bike?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "I may have lost my memory, but I'm not an idiot.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Like somebody barfed a two-story pile of puke.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "You strangle your child? Yeah, but... he's cool with it. Right? It hurts when I swallow.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Maraschino isn't even a kind of cherry! It's a way of preserving them!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "It goes by many names. Apollo's lantern, day-moon, old blazey.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "The important thing is never to touch it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "I know what the sun is! Yes, now you do.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "The sound of the baby must have triggered a primal mnemonic response in mom's brain!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Hey, guys, guess who just became lactose-tolerant?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Who's got amnesia now, Bart?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "All right, Marge, time to remember admiral awesome!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "I don't know, maybe there's something unpleasant blocking my memory of you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Oh, hey, ned. Isn't today your cat's birthday? I remember, 'cause she shares the date with Patty LaBelle.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Here's me fighting with former president Bush. Me fighting with current president Bush.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "You're describing how to parallel park.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "You're describing how to parallel park.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "You used to love my non sequiturs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Simple. Your brain is trying to save you from your backed-up toilet of a marriage.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Yeah, and you said you're only 180 pounds. Shut up and look for crime.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "That Homer Simpson he's quite a guy / he paid me ten bucks so I would lie / the truth is he's not so great / he is the one man I truly hate.", "c": ["Tony Bennett"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "So beautiful. I wish I could understand italian.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "No! I'm not the kind of girl who makes love on a putt-putt golf course!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "You loved it, especially when the windmill came around and whacked your butt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "The best thing that ever happened to me was forgetting about you!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Birthday's over, Seymour.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "How long you gonna be bunking with me, son? Well, the rest of your life for sure.", "c": ["Grandpa", "Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Every five minutes I'm going to blow this horn... And each man will move one table to his left.", "c": ["Speed dating host"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "I don't drive a lexus, okay? I don't have a lear jet or some big beach house in la-la land. I am just a nice man who makes a decent living. So I guess I should probably just go shoot myself?", "c": ["Speed dating participant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Don't get quiet on me. Please, I hate when they get quiet.", "c": ["Speed dating participant"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "We used to be quintuplets, but three of us drowned.", "c": ["Speed dating participant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "We used to be quintuplets, but three of us drowned.", "c": ["Bashful speed dater"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "But it's not an awkward silence. Yeah, it's more like a nothing needs to be said kind of silence.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Oh, no! He's Marge's and my dream man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "The wisest, wettest man you'll ever meet.", "c": ["Aquaman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "The wisest, wettest man you'll ever meet.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "In ten years, she never had the last slice of pizza and she's never complained. Every election she wishes she could vote for both guys because they both seem nice.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "You drink? Yeah, I started when you were in the hospital. I was so worried. Recently I tried this thing called beer, and...", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "I remember everything! You get drunk all the time. But you also remember that you're an enabler? Of course I do. That's why we're such a great team.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "But you also remember that you're an enabler? Of course I do. That's why we're such a great team.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 20, "et": "Regarding Margie"}, {"t": "Hi, I'm your hostess Boobarella, I hope you'll enjoy our labour day marathon of murder because soon you'll have to go back to school. School!!! School? My god I wasted the whole summer.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Now Simpsons be careful, their kid pitcher's mount is really 22.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Sit on it, Springfield!", "c": ["Character unclear"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.08, "im": 4.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Get outta my face, you raggedy maggots! So that's why everyone's been saying that all summer.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "I just had my first kiss. When you get to third base, I'll buy you a beer.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Weaving? Homer, you're my father. You're supposed to protect me from things like this. All right. Just this once, you can take a drink out of my special water bottle.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Die, weapons, die! Don't start the exhibit without me!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Time to do what I do best, ruin it for everybody.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "You calling me a liar in front of my kids? 'Cause I'd take a bullet for you, man, right in the mouth!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Ned Flanders is doling out cuts. I, for one, wish to partake of said!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Hey, if boner here is gettin' cuts, I want 'em, too.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Disco Stu slides in front of you! That rhymes.", "c": ["Disco Stu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "If we turn around, it will feel like we're at the front of the line!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Artifacts of the time indicate that this incident was hilarious.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "It's a mugger! I'll hand over all my hugs and kisses.", "c": ["Maggie", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Do you want to play in the NBA or not? Bart, my arm's out of its thing. That means it's working.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "It's narrated by Melanie Griffith. This room's nice. Let's go in to the next one. This room's nice, too. This room's nice. This room's nice, too. This room's nice. This room's nice, too.", "c": ["Homer", "Melanie Griffith impression"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "My most cherished beliefs, a myth? Daddy, was mommy a monkey? I can't remember.", "c": ["Ned", "Rod/Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! God put us here and that's that. But you said a stork brought me. That was god disguised as a stork. Who brings baby storks? There's no such thing as storks! It's all god.", "c": ["Ned", "Rod/Todd"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Well... our membership has been dwindling since those episcopalians put in those vibrating pews.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "I'll be a white Al Sharpton.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "No! That was a once-in-a-lifetime APR!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Are oceans god's tears? They sure are. A-plus. Now Lisa's the Ralph.", "c": ["Skinner", "Student", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Then why is he making out with satan?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "The George will?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Children, drown her out with whistling and arm flatulence.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Today we had a test, and every answer was 'god did it.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "My son's a brat, but he's a special little guy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "You father says he's at work, but there he is jumping on a trampoline.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Good riddance. Their drawings suck and they look like hippies.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Onions?! In the peas?! What the hell!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "regular people can park in handicapped spaces if they're just running in to buy smokes or maybe some pop tarts for tomorrow. The system works.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Now, honestly, the bible's about the same age as, the rest of our textbooks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Homer's son's sister's right.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "while I beat this ominous drum.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Little Moe Szyslak? Why does everybody call me that? Bunch of snot-faced pukebags.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "I thought we're gonna light spiders on fire. We're over here.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Other bullies"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "We only have the manpower to enforce the last law passed. You know, it's not the best system, but... well, in fact, it's... it's pretty much the worst.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "You live! You die! You live! You die! In the old days, we would've been all over that.", "c": ["Lou", "Eddie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "As the little chicken said to his mama, 'I just hope I don't 'cluck up.''", "c": ["Wallace Brady"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "This is Kent Brockman, juror number seven, saying, 'I'll have the roast beef for lunch.'", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "It just says that god is an impotent nothing from nowhere with less power than the undersecretary of agriculture, who has very little power in our system.", "c": ["ACLU Lawyer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "It just says that god is an impotent nothing from nowhere with less power than the undersecretary of agriculture, who has very little power in our system.", "c": ["Clarisse Drummond"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "I have a phd in truthology from christian tech.", "c": ["Expert witness"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Why, I believe, right now, this gentleman's having dinner with the tooth fairy and the easter bunny. This is the break in the case we've been waiting for! I mean, he doesn't exist.", "c": ["Country Lawyer", "ACLU Lawyer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Now. Bambi, who started that forest fire that killed your mama? Evolution?! My, my, my. Poor bambi. Poor thumper...", "c": ["Country Lawyer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Wow, Darwin's argument is incredibly persuasive, and his ship was the beagle, which reminds me of snoopy, my favorite peanut!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Your new name: Senorita Ugly.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "You can take off the wig, Mihouse. I'm Nelson!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "I'm Nelson!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "It's not a twist-off! Come on!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "It's not a twist-off! Come on! I want what's in you! stupid... Homer, I'm trying to... will you shut your yap, you big monkey-faced gorilla!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "will you shut your yap, you big monkey-faced gorilla!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.5, "im": 9.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Wait, it was a twist-off.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Maybe a bird with a people face or a bear with pants on!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "Cram it, ya god wad.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 21, "et": "The Monkey Suit"}, {"t": "It's amazing they've gotten 512 shows out of this premise.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Remember when we saw Hunch's butt in the shower? That was two seasons ago. Now you can only see butts on cable.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "The isotopes are winning? To the bandwagon!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Don't worry, I'll use the money I make to buy tickets from a scalper. Then I'll sell those tickets, and we'll be rich. Rich!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Cop! Act like you're in love with me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "You want to know something, Bart? Nah, I know enough.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "That was during the war, when sushi was called 'liberty logs,' and no one had ever heard of it.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "But grandpa, in 1942, they only played women's baseball here.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Let's just say one of the ladies had some extra equipment.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "I was a center fielder for the Springfield floozies.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "The pay wasn't much, but it kept me out of the war for a year.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Effie Lou is a man! Get him! He could threaten my record for lady triples.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "I bet that's why she's here tonight honoring america.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "and now here's something from my new album.", "c": ["Tabitha Vixx"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Hey, Buck, how's it feel knowing your wife's turning on a creep like me? Weird, I bet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "That's an e-3 if you're keeping score at home, and if you are, your loneliness saddens me.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Nine volt! Double a! D! D! D! D!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Job himself never had a tougher day at the ball park than Buck Mitchell.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "He's made six errors, struck out twice and swallowed a bee.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "They're making a mockery out of amerisnack. Comtroll doll night.", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "We both find public displays of affection vulgar.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Come on, doc, she's a fine-looking woman. You don't want to work that?", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Look at that ugly old man. That's you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Really? You'd kiss an ugly old man like me? Only if he'll kiss me back.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Remember when we used to kiss like that, Carl? With our respective girlfriends.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Marge, can we get a trough? For the last time, no.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Hey, that was my ice tea. I just sweetened it to my liking.", "c": ["Homer", "Buck Mitchell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "I barely recognize you without your costume on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "I never heard anything about it on the gossip shows or the blogosphere or in my supermarket checkout magazine.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "I could entertain business clients. I might even land the Henderson account.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "That means she wants to talk in private. It's probably about you.", "c": ["Buck Mitchell"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Hey, we've gone through more hardships than the jews and Charlie Brown put together.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "There were a lot of weird guys at the stadium tonight. You know, I remembered you.", "c": ["Buck Mitchell", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Sorry I'm late. I was just gathering my counseling equipment.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Now, let's remember... no one's right and no one's wrong... till I say so.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, we're out of time. How does that make you feel? Shut up. My 10:00's here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Well, I'm positively sick of her shaking her lady parts for the whole world to eyeball.", "c": ["Buck Mitchell"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Buck, you've got a beautiful woman with a hot body that any man would fantasize about even while making love to his own Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Just sign your name above president Lincoln's.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "If you listen closely, you can hear them arguing right now. And I say a monkey can mow our lawn!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "I stole a rack of fur coats. I sell one a year to pay for christmas.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Why, 'cause I'm fat?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "I always say that. Let's compromise and say nobody said it.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "It's going, going... and like america's credibility on the world stage, that ball is gone.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "After that, who gives a hobo's crap? Am I right?", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Wow, I've got this sudden urge to give her a five-dollar bill.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "You're talking to the chicken. Don't tell the hamburger in my car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "They're day laborers. We picked them up in the home depot parking lot.", "c": ["Tabitha Vixx"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Thank god I brought protection. I used to be so embarrassed buying these.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "cancellations require 24 hours... notice.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "And that's why Lou Gehrig was a selfish cry baby who deserved to die.", "c": ["Sports Radio Host"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "It don't need no writing on it. It don't even have to be clean.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "It's holding in my hernia.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Papa. I didn't want you to learn that word this way.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "So now we're judging each other based on things we've done. Real fair. Class act.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Crossed arms mean 'no.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Your standing lamp is dirty. I'll polish it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Said zeppelin has a whole lotta love.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.21, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "No, I said, 'duffman will do what you want. Stop kicking and punching duffman.'", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "She must be pooping.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "This is the worst blimp crash ever! Too soon!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Crowd"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Three duffmen are working the game tonight. Don't tell the children. It's disillusioning.", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Let's see, B. No, no, no. A. No, no, oh, man, man! It's C. As in 'keeping together.'", "c": ["Buck Mitchell"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "But enough of the baseball analogies. They sicken me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Ain't love grand, tito? Hey, man, I don't care! Bandits just kidnapped my mother. Just found out.", "c": ["Buck Mitchell", "Tito"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 17, "e": 22, "et": "Marge And Homer Turn A Couple Play"}, {"t": "Otto, Bart won't give me a seat. / You know I can deal with your problem or I can rock out. But I cannot do both.", "c": ["Otto", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Fu-u-u-u... nk.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "What am I hearing now? Nature? The ultimate bring-down. Why... was I... born?!", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Old McDonald had a fart Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 3.84, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "That's not a song. Real songs are about deals with the devil, far-off lands, and where you'd find smoke in relation to water.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "One of my bus mates has purloined my French horn.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Why can't you talk like a dude?", "c": ["Kearney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, knock it off, Kearney. Why are you still in this school anyway? We were in third grade together.", "c": ["Bart", "Kearney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Stupid school doesn't know how to teach me.", "c": ["Kearney"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, wow, this is about 90% less funny than you think it is.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Am I on drugs? / Yes, you are, but that really is Metallica.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for a gumdrop parade on Foo-foo Island.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, Springfield Arena, 1997, Row XX, Seat 64.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Look at me, I'm Otto. I'm a hundred years old, and I drive a school bus.", "c": ["Metallica member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "I used to sleep with Lars' grandmother.", "c": ["Other driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Never listen to our music again.", "c": ["Metallica"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Bye-bye, take care, watch your step, eat my shorts, have a good one.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Oh, and I think I ran over a moose.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Can't... talk... now. I'm spanking a child.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "And your gun.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Let me drive. I go through yellow lights.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "One more crack out of you, young man, and I'm showing everyone your baby pictures.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "I brought my own car seat. Look.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, Lisa, my safety bar matches your eyes.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Whoa. 'Squirrels don't like rocks.'", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Ew, it's Michael. That weird kid who never says anything.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, dork, you're sittin' on my shadow. / Sorry. / What, you're too good to sit on my shadow?", "c": ["Kearney", "Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Whoa. Your mother must dance at the nicest strip club in town.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Here is your book, and never forget: the divisor goes into the dividend.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "There is no Mafia. Columbus Day is better than Christmas.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "My daddy had to potty in a bag.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Ah, look at all this puke! Why did I come in on my day off?", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "I... from now on you're not third clarinet, you're first everything!", "c": ["Music teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Now if you excuse me, I'm brewing tea and I have to go jiggle my bags!", "c": ["Music teacher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "There's a triple-A battery in my macaroni and cheese!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "It counts as a vegetable.", "c": ["Lunch Lady Doris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "It's delicious! / Are you just saying that 'cause you're afraid of my dad? / No, it's great! Ooh! Except for the bee!", "c": ["Lisa", "Michael"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "We are going for a ride. By which I mean the carpool. Perhaps we will get yogurt.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Now who wants to sleep with the fishes? Because I brought this Finding Nemo bedspread.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "'Garfield' or 'Love Is?' / Uh, I prefer the cat. He hates Mondays. We can all relate.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Sadly, my Anna Maria was whacked by natural causes.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Ooh, flowers every week! I wish I was dead.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Actually, you can really keep costs down when you don't pay for materials or labor... or permits... or land.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Your paintings have brush marks. And your statues have wieners!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "He's talkin' like the guy in Fat Albert. / Howba areba youba? / Homer! / Whyba youba doba thatba?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "I thought you meant 'hot-sync' it. You know how it is with us-- everything means kill.", "c": ["Legs"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "We meant no disrespect, Fat Tony. We were simply trying to kill you.", "c": ["Calabresi"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "I made souffl\u00e9s!", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "I've tried to make those, but they always end up as brownies.", "c": ["Calabresi"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "My God, this is like a lap dance for my taste buds!", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "The flavor just drove my sweet tooth to a vacant lot and whacked it.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, look what we got here. It's Chef Boy-ar-gay!", "c": ["Calabresi"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Well, gazpacho is served cold. So take that.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Do they small down big ones or do they make 'em different?", "c": ["Calabresi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "With Fat Tony doing the morphine mambo, the Calabresis are gonna try to put him down for a dirt nap.", "c": ["Legs"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Homer, our house is on fire! Help me save the children! / Sorry, Marge, can't hear you!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "You are a hybrid: half idiot, half moron.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Everything! And I learned it all from the greatest gangster film ever: Shark Tale.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "I hurt my fist and my palm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Could I just pay you $5 to keep out Hardee's?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Ow! My schnoz! My punim! My pupik! My genechtagazoink!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Uh, it-it fell off a truck. Uh, you know, a truck-truck.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Eh, it fell off a truck-truck truck.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Hi-diddily-ho, mob-areenos!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Dad, you want I should plug him in the ankle?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "You monster! Just cut his Achilles tendon with this knife.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Yeah. You know, they've still got to eat right and exercise. Walk the dog once in a while. He's a furry little fitness machine.", "c": ["Calabresi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Thanks, but I'm going into bootleg DVDs.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Hey, if I poisoned them, would I be doing this?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Don't ever ask me out my business, Lisa.", "c": ["Michael"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 1, "et": "The Mook The Chef The Wife And Her Homer"}, {"t": "Stop calling her that. / I'll tell you how she died. You know that sign that says 'Do not stand up on the roller coaster'? Yeah. She overdosed right in front of it.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Oh. Class all the way.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Marge, could you let it go? You won. She's dead.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "a gifted cocktail waitress who hoped one day to learn computers", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Amber said she wouldn't let her eighth-grade education stop her from achieving her dreams. And yet, it did.", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Bart! Do you want to leave the funeral early?! Do you?! Yes. Of course.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Your name was Amber, just like the alert...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Thanks a lot. I lost my place. Um... Ah, here it is. 'The end.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Everyone relax, huh? I know the Heimlich. I learned it a few years ago. It was 1997, and Titanic was proving unsinkable at the box office...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Somebody do me!", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "First, let me assure you that Bart's antics are perfectly normal for a seven-year-old. Actually, he's ten. Oh, dear. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear.", "c": ["Dr. Pryor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Spare us your medical mumbo jumbo. Just give us the pills. Clear-cut his brain down to the nub.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Drumming demands energy and concentration, one of which Bart has,", "c": ["Dr. Pryor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Whoa! Trippy!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Hey, kid, why don't you watch where you're drumming?! Sorry, White Stripes. No hard feelings? Let's kick his ass!", "c": ["White Stripes", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Oh! Why couldn't he give up this like he gives up everything else?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Transport yourself to the shores of Nova Scotia", "c": ["White noise machine"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "where cod and halibut frolic in...! He's just drumming louder!", "c": ["White noise machine", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "And a circus fire!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Oh! Let me know... when and if you want sex, honey!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Boy, get dressed! You're going to a jazz brunch as punishment for all the racket you're making! I thought you wanted me to drum. I'm sending you mixed messages. Now, get the hell outta here. I love you so much. Damn you!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "What it is, hepcats? You want me to scat-sing the menu? Absolutely not. Oh, God bless you, sir.", "c": ["Jazz musician", "Customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Hey, Bart, you want to jam with me? Okay. If you give me your omelet. Whoo-hoo! I'm a professional musician!", "c": ["Jazz musician", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Not bad for a newbie, Bart! You just may be the second-best. In case you're wondering who the best one is, it's me.", "c": ["Jazz musician"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "That's a wrap, kids. Now go have some Jazzy Bread. That's bread that fell on the floor.", "c": ["Jazz musician"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "I'm, uh, Defonzo 'Skinny' Palmer. This is Marcus 'Marbles' Le Marquez. / We were about to play a quick set, Yes? Lisa Simpson... Yes? would do us the honor... Yes? of sitting in... that chair in the audience. We wanna jam with your brother.", "c": ["Defonzo", "Marcus", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "I was jamming with Skinny Turner. And they want me to join their trio! Woo-hoo! What's next? A contract with Groove-tone Records? Take the G-train, baby. Groove-tone!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "'Cause I've wanted to jam with jazz musicians all my life. / How would Bart like it if I just hopped on his skateboard and instantly became great?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Ah... whoa...", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "I need you to teach me all about the world of juzz. It's jazz! Jazz! You don't even know the name of the thing", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Oh-- I always wanted a jazz nickname. Fine. We'll call you, uh... Downbeat. 'Cause you're bringin' us down. That is the most unfair... Downbeat, Downbeat, please.", "c": ["Bart", "Jazz musicians", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "We're shootin' the breeze with Tic Tock. Oh, man, I am so juzzed.", "c": ["Jazz musicians", "Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Bart, a rising star like you needs a manager, and Gil's your guy! Oh, I'm a jazz daddy from way back. With the skit-skat skittily boom-de-boom, and the ding-dong daddy... Is that jazz? That's jazz, right? Cha-cha-cha with the curly fries.", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "I like you more, now that other people like you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "It's mergatronic, Daddy-Ho. / Bart, does that even mean anything? / Xavier Cugat!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Mom, I'm gonna lose it. Bart's on the cover of both local jazz magazines: 'Blowin'' and 'The Sugar Sheet'. Here's the only thing I've been on the cover of.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Yeah, you know what's even cuter? Picking one without talking to me.", "c": ["Pound worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Who's gonna get neutered tomorrow? You are! Oh, yes you are.", "c": ["Pound worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Lisa Simpson... you doomed me. I did? How? By choosing the cuter puppy. You picked looks over personality, youth over experience, no history of rabies over unknown rabies status. And now I'm going to die.", "c": ["Older dog", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "You suuuuuck! You suuuuuck!", "c": ["Older dog"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "You suuuuuck! You suuuuuck! / Ah, thanks, sweetie. / You suuuuuck!", "c": ["Dog", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Yeah, he'll be in God's Dumpster tomorrow", "c": ["Pound worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "because he knows my darkest secret: I like putting animals to sleep.", "c": ["Pound worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "And if you get hungry, there are rats living in the Christmas decorations.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Shut up! I just said 'shut up.' I'll punish myself by going upstairs.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Uh... not smoking reefer. Uh, that's right. We all not smoking reefer.", "c": ["Bart", "Jazz musicians"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "I was a great drummer, and now I'm nothing, just like Phil Collins.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "And what about my new job as a Mexican wrestler? Beware of Taco Belly. Whoo! Eat your heart...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Uh, yes, I would like a bird because I'm often", "c": ["Unknown caller"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Can I, uh, can I borrow that ostrich?", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Not if I can help it, Lisa. Do you have an idea? Uh, no. Sorry if it sounded like I did.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Sorry, Tic Tock. Your tick is on... but your tock is gone. Well, I've got a confession to make. This right arm... it's not mine. Whose is it? I don't know.", "c": ["Jazz musicians", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "It's like a potato chip full of shame, going down my throat sideways.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "You're my mother. How can you say that?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Gooey Martin, Willie Mimms, Drop Jaws Turner, Sketch Friendly, Tootsie Childs, Sammy Biltmore, No-Talent Jones, Anwar Benitez, Bossy Marmalade, Bad-Check Mazursky, Ray-Ray Takamura, Shaky Premise, Bootsy Croutonne, Richard Sakai, The Pre-Marital Sextet, C.S.I. Miami, D.W. Jitters, The Chubb Group, Cantaloupe St. Pierre and many, many, more funny names!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Now I'm gonna go vomit to keep my weight down. That's right. That's how Krusty does it.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Jazz folk may have the smallest apartments, but they also have the biggest hearts.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 2, "et": "Jazzy And The Pussycats"}, {"t": "Yeah, hasn't been the same since they murdered the Mayor's dad here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Now it's a collection of candle kiosks and Persian CD stores", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Is like Bruce Springsteen the Boss, ya?", "c": ["Persian CD Store Owner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "If you buy now, I give you, uh, toothache cream. / Deal!", "c": ["Persian CD Store Owner", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "These games are so old. Who got these high scores? Pilgrims?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Now my ship is pooping more triangles.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Don't tell me how many times to think!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "This doesn't taste like I thought it would.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "We already own a book.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Redheaded twins? Their mother must have her hands full.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "This doesn't look easy, but I'll bet it is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Blah, blah, blah... Okay, now you do me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "There were eels in the photo booth.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "A fire? I didn't start a fire in the teachers' lounge. I mean, what fire?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Good grief, more peanuts!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "And the Pecker Brothers, Danny and Dell!", "c": ["TV Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 4.96, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "We are worse than the ancient Romans!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "What's the point? We're all slowly dying.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "What's that strange feeling? It's 'of accomplishment'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "It's like you're the Jesus of carpentry.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Aww, what a sweet blasphemy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "I'm already arranging the clip art for the letterhead in my mind.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "I have some pictures hanging that you might find, um... unsavory.", "c": ["Male Client"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "What if you get pregnant and I'm left with half a hot tub? And don't tell me you're infertile. I ain't falling for that again.", "c": ["Male Client"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "I guess people just expect their carpenter to be some fat guy with his butt crack showing.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Homer, your butt just gave me a brilliant idea!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Why don't you go inside and stir your flubber while I get to work?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "I thought I heard the sound of a woman measuring.", "c": ["Elderly Client"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Measure like a girl, hammer like a guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Hammer with the wood and it's all good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "A dash of glue, a turn of screw, and a gazebo's built that's perfect for two... or more.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "I'd have this gazebo torn down and built into a coffin... for your manhood.", "c": ["Elderly Client"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Like all manly men, I have a vivid imagination.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Let's take off our shirts and wrestle.", "c": ["Elderly Client"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Oh, why should we have to give up our salty snacks just to keep one allergic kid from exploding?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "I'm only allergic to honey, wheat, dairy, non-dairy, and my own tears.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "A principal can be a man or a woman these days.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Just like the English took our sheep and our women in 1291. Then, they sent them back, which was worse!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "My allergy is so sensitive, a single molecule would make my throat close like a museum at 4:45.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "You provide food and sexual release for your handy husband.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "I sat on it so much it's a little sore.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "You'll be married to some kind of gay jelly, floating outside the Florida Keys, cruising for rich snorkelers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Yes, you might say he'll 'blow up.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "You might say it drives me nuts.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Maybe finally shut him up about the high price of cornmeal.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Who do you think would help me, my wife?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "The only thing women can build is credit card debt.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, infinity.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "We need to replace them with kick-ass going-down parts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "What are struts?! Oh, I don't know anything about struts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "This guy's all bubble and no level.", "c": ["Construction Worker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "I'm supposed to stand in your store window and breast-feed Bilbo Baggins.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Your cowering suggests that Bart has found your kryptonite.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "The 'ite' suffix suggests a mineral.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Perhaps. But for now, you may suckle your Baggins.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "To Daddy, the real world gets fainter and fainter every day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Simpson, you've been waving your nuts in my face for too long.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "I... was... El Barto.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "you won't get married on The Pharaoh's Curse.", "c": ["Man"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "that I'm perfect and everything I touch is perfect!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "He'll never hear me say 'I told you so!'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Avenge... me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 3, "et": "Please Homer Dont Hammer Em"}, {"t": "Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scare-i-monies?", "c": ["Crypt Keeper"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Priceless, sir. You made the word 'ceremonies' frightening. I know what I did. Hey, can we get going here? Listening to you two is more torture than the torture.", "c": ["Assistant", "Third Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Actually, no, this is worse. Although the right nipple spike seems a little dull.", "c": ["Torture Victim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Whoa, look at that! My blood's a genius. Fancy Roman numerals and everything.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Whoa! That almost tore my head off. Oh, you always find an excuse not to make out.", "c": ["Teen Couple"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Whoo! A space marshmallow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Dad, no! It could teach us the secret of interstellar travel. If he's so smart, how come he can't stay out of my mouth?", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "How could you eat that goo? You don't know what galaxy it's from. Marge, I ate it. It's over.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Must eat, then poop, then eat some more, then eat while pooping.", "c": ["Homer/Blob"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Still hungry. Dad? Son, let me have a lick at you.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Homer! You won't eat my stuffed peppers, but you'll eat our son? Nag, nag, nag.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Is that the cat? Uh, no, just gas.", "c": ["Character", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "No, today's teens have enough problems without me eating them.", "c": ["Homer/Blob"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "The flames are sealing in my juices. I'll savor you.", "c": ["Homer", "Victim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Mmm. Extra-virgin.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Tell my friends I died kissing a girl! No.", "c": ["Teen", "Girl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "What did we Germans ever do to deserve this? Oh, right.", "c": ["German Tourist"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "I like big guts and I cannot lie / Double chins with the chafing thighs / When a dude walks in with the hanging jowls / My stomach starts to growl--I'm gettin' hungry", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "It's blob rule on the streets of Springfield. And to make matters worse, we're also being attacked by a 50-foot Lenny.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Everyone's paying attention to Homer. I still like you. Thanks, Invisible Carl.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Hi-de-ho, Bloborino.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Dr. Phil McGraw! You've got a weight problem, and you know it. You're right. Starting tomorrow, no bread before dinner.", "c": ["Dr. Phil", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Homer, don't sell me an outhouse and tell me it's the Taj Mahal. Yeah, Homer, stop doing that.", "c": ["Dr. Phil", "Character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "I have to be honest with you: I can't love a 4,000-ton cannibal. What happened to 'for better or for worse?!'", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Dad, you're eating Dr. Phil. It's amazing. He tastes just like Jeffrey Tambor.", "c": ["Character", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "You gotta know when to golem", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Finally, I'd like to announce that starting Monday, this show will be broadcast in HDTV. Here's how I'll look. Heh? That's right: look at your hero!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Aren't you coming, Bart? Nah, I'm gonna go backstage and complain. This Krusty Brand alarm clock sprays acid in your face.", "c": ["Character", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Cool! It's that clown car all those midgets drowned in.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Legendary defender of the Jewish people, like Alan Dershowitz, but with a conscience.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "I kid Alan. We're friends.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "So the wife says, 'I don't have to pay for it. I put it on my charge plate.' You suck, clown! You made my lady cry!", "c": ["Krusty", "Audience Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "I'm gonna need a shoebox full of blow to get through this dreck.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Bart, there's something I have to tell you father to son. I passed out on your turtle and killed it. Someday you'll thank me.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Can't you read my writing? I didn't say kick Homer's 'walls'.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Yo, Simpson. Give us your lunch money. Mmm... I don't think so. In fact, why don't you give me your lunch money?", "c": ["Bully", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Finally, someone who does whatever I say. Hey, Bart, I shaved my head like you told me. Get lost. Yes, Master.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Did your mystical Jewish monster beat up those bullies? Oh, it's always the Jews' fault.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Finally, I can talk! This is the voice I've got? Sounds like I should be selling egg creams in Brighton Beach.", "c": ["Golem"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "That's what we call Jewish humor. You don't have to understand it 'cause the words sound funny. Meshuggeneh. Hilarious.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Of course I feel bad. My stomach feels like it's hosting the Chabad telethon and Norm Crosby's going long.", "c": ["Golem"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "'Kill the czar'? Now that's an old one.", "c": ["Golem"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Skinner! I wish we'd been closer. Get him out of here, Willie. You'll make better mulch than you did a man.", "c": ["Character", "Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "I may be bifurcated, but I still have feelings.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "I feel so guilty. I've mangled and maimed 37 people and I told a telemarketer I was busy when I wasn't. I'm not a good man.", "c": ["Golem"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "He sure is neurotic for a monster. The cure to any man's problems is a good relationship. Yeah, get him a woman. That'll end his misery.", "c": ["Character", "Character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "The surprise would be if I found some good live theater in this town. Then people could have some drinks, watch Fiddler. Very nice.", "c": ["Golem"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Ugh! What's with this outfit? It looks like a lion ate a parrot and then threw up.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Not so fast. You're wanted for the murder of Seymour Skinner. Oh, come on, Chief. We've got a lat kebar downstairs. Latkes? What the hell are those? They're pan-fried... Case dismissed.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "I don't get it. What's so 'Great' about this Depression? Well, I like how everything's sepia-toned. Makes me feel all nostalgic.", "c": ["Character", "Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "I never thought it would come to this when I fought in the first World War. First World War? Why you keep callin' it that? Oh, you'll see.", "c": ["Old Character", "Other Character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "First World War? Why you keep callin' it that? / Oh, you'll see.", "c": ["Homer", "Older character"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "So, it's a war of the worlds. Good thing we got the sun on our side.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Okay, boys, we're under attack. Let's drive 'em out of town the way we did with the Irish. Hey, I'm Irish. Oh, wait, I'm Polish.", "c": ["Chief", "Officer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Now they're riding horses in the rain. Now they're playing the xylophone while bowling near an airport.", "c": ["Radio Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Well, I just hope our saucy little radio prank will give these 'folks,' as you call them, a giggle, a gasp, and provide a good lead-in for Misters Amos and Andy.", "c": ["Orson Welles"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Wait, did you get my sweater out of the front seat? Uh, yeah. Well, where is it? I'll go get it.", "c": ["Character", "Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Wait, I have an idea. The Martians are only killing humans, so we should pretend to be animals. Ingenious. Everyone, remove your clothes and wallow in filth.", "c": ["Character", "Character"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Martians? You do know that radio broadcast was a hoax? Yeah, it was an Orson Welles radio play of War of the Worlds.", "c": ["Lisa", "Character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "Foolish Earthlings. Now is the perfect time to strike. They'll think it's another hoax.", "c": ["Kang"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "How's it feel when the hoax is on the other foot? I must admit it's unpleasant.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Orson Welles"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "You fool. You've doomed us all. Eh, tell it to the Great Gildersleeve.", "c": ["Character", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "You said we'd be greeted as liberators. Don't worry. We still have the people's hearts and minds. I don't know. I'm starting to think 'Operation: Enduring Occupation' was a bad idea.", "c": ["Kang", "Kodos"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "We had to invade. They were working on weapons of mass disintegration. Sure they were.", "c": ["Kang", "Kodos"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xvii"}, {"t": "we are not all naked under our clothes", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Bart, can we go to Banana Republic? There's a mannequin there I have a crush on.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Milhouse, that is the most pathetic thing I ever... Oh, my God. She's beautiful.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Bullies! Wait. They're employees. They have to be nice to us. Let's go.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "What size do I smell like?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Dude, don't lose it in the workplace. We already on thin ice with Mr. Friedman.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "The shoe size calibrator is for measuring feet and nothing else.", "c": ["Mr. Friedman"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "I want it overy-undery, not undery-overy. Re-lace them all.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "I'm leaving this job to work at Jolly Tamale because the hours are better and my mom's really sick.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "When you leave, what happens to your rule about not whaling on customers? That rule leaves with me.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Nelson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Yo, I don't know what I dig more, hip-hop, krunk, or serving my country.", "c": ["Army Recruiter"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "What? Being gay? Close. The Army.", "c": ["Bart", "Army Recruiter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Not wars, global struggles. You guys like globes?", "c": ["Army Recruiter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Even the dumbest teenagers in the dumbest town in the dumbest state know better than to join the Army.", "c": ["Army Recruiter"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "What's this assembly for? A surprise Doodlebops concert?", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Well, what if there was a violent video game that you could play for free, plus it's real life and not a game at all?", "c": ["Army Recruiter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Do you guys know where we can find some awesome kids to show it to? Dearborn, Michigan? No, here.", "c": ["Army Recruiter", "Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "I'm imagining that knight is me", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Now you can't legally join the army until you're 18, but if you pre-enlist now, we will save you a spot in America's next unresolvable conflict.", "c": ["Army Recruiter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Thanks for fitting us in, Sergeant Skinner. Well, I'd do anything for my beloved Army. Well, how about re-enlisting? How about you bite me?", "c": ["Army Recruiter", "Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Well, I'd do anything for my beloved Army. Well, how about re-enlisting? How about you bite me?", "c": ["Skinner", "Army Recruiter"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Eh, big deal, by the time Bart's 18, we're going to control the world. We're China, right?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "How come I can't join the army, but Lisa gets to be in PETA? I think she just answers their phone.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Fur is murder! When's the Krusty movie coming out?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm a real class act.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Sounds, uh, like you're kind of tired of being bossed around at home.", "c": ["Army Recruiter"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Hey, a big target like you will be home a lot sooner than that.", "c": ["Army Recruiter"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Where's my parade? We have this issue of Parade Magazine.", "c": ["Homer", "Army Recruiter"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Army private: $14,000 a year. D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Homer, with all the things you've done-- go into space, attend clown college, join the Navy-- I never thought you'd join the Army.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Who else is gonna keep oil under a hundred dollars a barrel? You? Don't make me laugh.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "You couldn't... Aw, oh, oh, don't, no. Daddy's just teasing. Of course you could. You could keep it under a hundred. Yes, you could. No, she couldn't.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "'Cause mine is I care too much.", "c": ["Soldier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "While you've been standing here, your hair's been cut, and your clothes have been replaced with army fatigues.", "c": ["Drill Sergeant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Here's your nicknames: Brooklyn, Hollywood, Kissimmee-St. Cloud, Florida, Maverick, Blanket Hog, Newman's Own, Master of Suspense, England's Rose, Nickname Pending, Bram Stoker's Dracula, and Snowflake.", "c": ["Drill Sergeant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "What happens to me in the summer?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "You're gonna sit here and eat donuts, while the rest of the unit does push-ups! Just for that, they'll do the push-ups one-handed, while you eat Alaskan King salmon and I give you a foot rub!", "c": ["Drill Sergeant"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "I like rubbing people's feet, Corns and bunions are a treat, can give massage real well, If you know why, don't ask, don't tell.", "c": ["Drill Sergeant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Can you say, 'Side effects may include drowsiness and loss of appetite'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Hmm, sounded better in my head", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Frontline infantry. Frontline infantry. Frontline infantry. Frontline infantry. I joined to make recruitment films. Well, you know where you're gonna get good footage, don't you? Ooh, tell me. Frontline infantry!", "c": ["Commander", "Soldier"], "jt": ["running_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "That's an odd way to start handing out medals.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Don't you get it? They're using us as patsies to make the Army look good. Are we that stupid?", "c": ["Soldier", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "I'm gonna stay here and let them test their laser-guided super weapons on me. Like that one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Ah, stay crunchy in milk. I will! Stay crunchy, men. Stay crunchy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "This'll be like shooting cats off of Grandma's sofa.", "c": ["Colonel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, I just remembered. It's Chinese New Year! Gung hay fat choi! Gung hay fat choi!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "I sure as hell can! Congress slipped it into the National Broccoli Day Proclamation.", "c": ["Colonel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Whew, this pain feels so real. Uh, it is real. Oh. Guess I'd better do my part.", "c": ["Homer", "Soldier"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "What you doing, Moe? Drawing a wang on Marmaduke? Heck, no. I'm challenging myself with one of these, uh, Sudoku games.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "What, that Japanese puzzle in which no numeral can be repeated in a row, column, or box? That's how it works? I was just drawing wangs on the numbers.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "The Salvation Army? You got it. Not that Army, the one from Stripes!", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Hey, some things mean more to me than money. Like a whole lot of money. Why did you just say that sentence fragment? Uh, it, uh--long story.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "How would you like to be stacked naked in a pile with a hillbilly girl pointing at you and laughing? That was our last Christmas card.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "How would you like to be stacked naked in a pile with a hillbilly girl pointing at you and laughing? That was our last Christmas card.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "'H' means 'hot'?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "I am not bald. I am balding! Ugh, why will no one honor the '-ding'? I honor the '-ding', sir. The hell are you talking about?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Soldier"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "I don't belong here. I am not bald. I am balding! Ugh, why will no one honor the '-ding'?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Never back down. Never admit a mistake. That's why we've won over half the wars we've fought.", "c": ["Colonel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Wow, uh... this'll be the first time I ever watered down my booze.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Wow, uh... this'll be the first time I ever watered down my booze. Moe, why are your eyes darting back and forth so much? Oh, I-I'm just thinking about a great tennis match I saw once, yeah.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Uh, uh, now I'm thinking about ping-pong. A... ver-very fast chess game. A... snappy David Mamet play.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Great Cheney's Ghost! You win.", "c": ["Colonel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 5, "et": "Gi Annoyed Grunt"}, {"t": "Homer struggling to remember something, muttering to his memory to wake up", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Is it our anniversary? No, we don't have one this year.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Don't you dare go limp. Too late. The deed is done. Kids, grab a fold.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Moe's increasingly desperate voicemail messages about his birthday fishing trip", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "I threw a javelin that barely missed Hitler. But I did hit an assassin who was trying to kill Hitler.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "The next time I saw Hitler, we had dinner and laughed about it.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "What is this? Kill Hitler day?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "I collect Absolut ads. How many others do you have? There are others?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Well, it's not fair when Moleman uses his replacement legs.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, it's clouding up. I better put on me rain poncho.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Sir! You dropped your munchers!", "c": ["Official"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "You'll never take me alive, Grim Reaper", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Take the boy. His soul is fresher.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "I've never been happier.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "I wonder if the dog thought about us while we were gone.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Everybody hide! Finally, that jerk Homer is home. Oh, it's just his car.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Happy birthday to me, I feel so damn lonely, Won't someone kill me... And many more.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Happy birthday to me / I feel so damn lonely / Won't someone kill me... / And many more.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Homer, we can't scuttle like crabs for the rest of our lives. Says you.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Dear Pus Bag? Whoa, Marge, who'd you piss off? It's for you, Pus Bag!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "But you shattered my dreams like a Duff tall boy in a bar brawl, and you jammed the jagged neck right up my heart's butt.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "What a deep, tormented soul.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Loser!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Still in the top three. Still in the top ten.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "I ain't no great man, like Bob Seger or Haystacks Calhoun.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Moe, you live in a hotel? You're just like Eloise! Did someone say my name?", "c": ["Lisa", "Moe", "Woman"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "This vibrating massage chair feels great! That ain't a massage chair. It's just full of cockroaches. See?", "c": ["Bart", "Moe"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "I was in the Christmas pageant once. Mom showed up with a new boyfriend. He called me Steve.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Ooh, Moe's a poet! He has a soul! Flutter your wings! It's tea time in Buttercup Junction!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Ooh, you love a man!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "What-which why-liot's the who-now?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "It jumps out at you like a rat in your underwear drawer.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "There once was a rapping tomato, That's right, I said 'rapping tomato', He rapped all day from April to May, And also, guess what, it was me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Stop the presses! Send my wife some flowers! And bring me an Advil! What do you mean you don't work for me?! You're hired! Now that you're hired, you're fired! Now that you don't work here, we can be friends. Now that we're friends, how come you never call? Some friend you are! God, I love this business.", "c": ["Poetry Editor"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Bad news, Maya Angelou: you've been bumped. ...you can't bump me... ...bump you!", "c": ["Editor", "Maya Angelou"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Screw you, snail trail! Who was that? Eh, some jerk making a prank call with a gag name: 'Tom Wolfe.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Homer, don't drink and drive! Fine. I'll drive between sips.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Including Rhode Island! We're a small state, but we give big tickets.", "c": ["Rhode Island Trooper"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "He stands, stoop-shouldered, blinking in the light, hollow-chested like a dough-faced fall guy who's made a career of taking dives but has decided to get his manhood out of hock and take a shot at the title.", "c": ["Tom Wolfe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "You ever scrub your hands real fast, and you think you're seeing a third one? One time I looked down and there really was. I gotta get a new lock for that bathroom.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "1876 was the price I paid for gas once. I thought of Burr when I saw it written on an Eskimo Pie package.", "c": ["Gore Vidal"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Whoa, clear water. Swanky! Woo-hoo.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Well, I dunno, uh... the only book I ever read was Super Hounds: The Ultimate Greyhound Betting System. So, uh, any of you wetnaps write that?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Man, couples in this state sure like to clink glasses.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "That was my house, you moron. Oh, I'm sorry. We should exchange insurance information. I have none.", "c": ["Vermont Local", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, hey. Hey, st... stupid geese, you're eating my brilliance. Hey, hey, I will break your beak.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Yeah, go on, you cowards. Fly off in a 'V'.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, honey, don't cry. They're not made from real bears just their fur and noses.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Elevator capacity: 2,400 pounds. Inspection Certificate available in hotel manager's office. You just pulled that off the wall of the elevator.", "c": ["Moe", "Audience"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Ode to Lisa: Pointy-headed mini-muse, More friend than I deserved, You pulled me from the dirt, And made me the beautiful flower that I am.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Except for those two dudes I saw getting hitched. Not my thing, but I wish 'em well.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Except for those two dudes I saw gettin' hitched. Not my thing, but I wish 'em well.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "Ooh, you fight like Anne Rice.", "c": ["Jonathan Franzen"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "I need photos. Photos of Spider-Man. This is a poetry journal. Okay, then poems about Spider-Man.", "c": ["J. Jonah Jameson"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 6, "et": "Moena Lisa"}, {"t": "I only eat the clown heads. That's so wasteful. I've always done it. Just like I only eat the eyes off a lobster.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Your father works very hard to put lobsters on our table. Every night, he comes home exhausted, with his voice too hoarse to talk.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "I'm the king of goofing off!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "I thought we were playing Cincinnati Time Waste. Oh, in that case...", "c": ["Homer", "coworker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "When you pass the coffee machine, you're supposed to yell 'hot pot' and eat a sugar cube.", "c": ["coworker"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "On your feet, you sniggering oran-gu-tan.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "My fat friend, you are hanging by a very thin thread.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Come and lick me, big boy. I said lick me!", "c": ["Ice cream truck"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Ew! You're not ice cream! Faker.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Change a hundred? Sure. That's $1.50, $1.75, $2.00...", "c": ["Homer", "Ice cream man"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Max loved to talk about his work. How he bored me.", "c": ["Max's widow"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Why, doesn't he need it? Oh, right.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Otto, you totally pimped Dad's ride! He was following my design", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Today, we're celebrating women who didn't waste their lives being mommies.", "c": ["TV host"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "It's about women who want to breast-feed their own dreams and change the poopy diapers of fulfillment. I call it leaving your 'lega-she.'", "c": ["Professor Stein"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Now her husband asks her for money or as I call it: 'mon-she.'", "c": ["Professor Stein"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "I feel like Icarus, flying too close to Apollo's golden orb.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Product contains neither ice nor cream. May contain trace elements of Mexican cheese. Do not consume.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "I'm a unitard.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Son, I will not stand for intolerance.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "You give this delightful frozen treat the same respect you would give any lactose-free food. God bless America.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Ooh, thomeone wearth a brathelet. Who'th your boyfriend? Uh... Dr. Osterberg?", "c": ["Nelson", "Kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "I just wish I could do something to be remembered by, something that says 'Marge was here' after I'm gone. Oh, honey, what about the time... Everybody loved that.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Ah, the story of my life. They get the Popsicles, I get the sticks.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Will America accept a British James Bond? I can't wait to find out.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "You think people would be Kent-rested in me? I do.", "c": ["Marge", "Kent"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "My God, it's beauty-ful. I finally see the goodness in myself. Come here, you.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "You're not alone anymore. No you ain't. Aw, you're shivering, are you cold?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "This is the most fun I've ever had giving you wood. Homie, this sculpting has made me feel so fulfilled. I'm as hopeful and full of life as I was in the years before I met you.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Shoot on the 'yee,' not the 'hah.'", "c": ["Rich Texan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Hey, I do more than TV. I had a one-man show on Broadway. That's who showed up-- one man.", "c": ["Troy McClure"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Our marriage is like soft-serve ice cream. And trust is the hard chocolate shell that keeps it from melting on to our carpet. In 'cone-clusion,' here's the scoop: I love you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Attention, losers: this is your chance to buy your kids some frozen love. I'm not going to fall for such a cheap stunt. Mom would.", "c": ["Homer", "Dad", "Kid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Sorry, I'm all out of ice cream. Already? It's only 38 seconds to 3:00.", "c": ["Homer", "Customer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "I don't know where Carl ends and I begin. See, statements like that are why people think we're gay.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Well, excuse me for having enormous flaws that I don't work on!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "It was giving you those sticks, and watching you smile as you turned them into art. If it would win you back, I would gradually eat all the parts of a motorcycle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "I'm laughing in the last one, but it's only 'cause the cat fell down the stairs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Did you change your name? Is it Kelly? Kelly!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "A complete list of things I have seen or not seen is available on my blog. Your mother is on the 'not seen' list, along with 'a Star Wars film that was any good since the first one.' And even that has been ruined by CGI additions. Bravo, George.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "A complete list of things I have seen or not seen is available on my blog. Your mother is on the 'not seen' list, along with 'a Star Wars film that was any good since the first one.'", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "You made me a sculpture of Magilla Gorilla. No, Homer. It's you-- my sweet, perfectly imperfect you.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Now I know that my lega-she is really a lega-we.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "Not that one!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "This statue, subject unknown, is the last remaining example of art before the collapse of the western world. If only we'd known that iPods would unite and overthrow the very humans they entertained.", "c": ["Future narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "What do you want from us?! Nothing. We just like whipping.", "c": ["Human", "iPod"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 7, "et": "Ice Cream Of Margie With The Light Blue "}, {"t": "It's not coffee, it's hot Pepsi.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "You're the worst husband in the world! / Yeah, well, I wish I'd married Patty and Selma.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "I wish I'd married Lenny and his friend.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Recording that fake fight was a great idea. Now the kids won't bother us during our morning snuggle.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Dear Lord, thank you for the physical intimacy we are about to enjoy. And as always, have fun watching.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Trust me, Bart. It's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of 'em.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "But what will I eat at midday?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "I can't solve all your problems. Just hand over the money.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Thanks, wads, and I hope to see you both Saturday. / Come to my party or die.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "He makes you look his baseball cards and tell him they're good. They're not good.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Individually, we are weak like a single twig. But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Hell, no, I won't mow! / Willy, you're fired with complete loss of pension.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Well, if no one else jumped off the Empire State Building, would you not jump?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Kind of...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Lisa, you're never gonna get a husband by being sarcastic. / All right, no husband. / You're getting a husband!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "You think I wouldn't rather be living nude in the forest like some ancient pagan, just dancing around playing the pan flute?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, do I hear a dial tone? 'Cause this party is off the hook!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Is Highway 88 backed up? / Oh, yeah, it's a parking lot out there. / Of course, that explains everything. Stupid Highway 88!", "c": ["Nelson", "Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Maybe I should come back a little later. / Don't go. My party peeps are en route, I swear!", "c": ["Spider-Man performer", "Nelson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "I ordered them to.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "How'd you afford this kickass party? / Carnival ride hit me on the head.", "c": ["Homer", "Nelson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Hey! It's my birthday bud!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "An entire case of pool cue chalk. We can make the tip of anything blue.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "I got a lot on my plate. I've got a big report due on the Nile River - topic sentence, bibliography, page numbers - it's nuts.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "You made me get water on my cheek.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Let's go over to the Sunshine pre-school and wail on toddlers. / Yeah, we'll jump 'em while they're napping.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Dolph"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "But your mother smells like coconut.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, this is that fantasy book that even grown-ups like. Broken, lonely grown-ups.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "I like to come up here and make fun of the sunset. Hey, gas ball, you suck!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "I mean, a shark can't stop swimming or it'll blow up.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "The sleeves were torn off by wild dogs.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "So, Scotty, how do you like school? / Closed!", "c": ["Marge", "Scotty"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "You must read ahead. Fiction is your passion! / Lady, you're nice, but I'm married.", "c": ["Book characters", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Thanks for the spoiler there, big mouth.", "c": ["Book character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Because my chest is cold and my arms aren't.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "I was waiting to smash this frog with you, and it peed in my hand.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Look what you made me do!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "I just hit a major marshmallow vein. I think it goes all the way to the bottom.", "c": ["Nelson's mother"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "It's not true-- they're brave, 'cause they're strong.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "You're a nut bar, a whack job! A kooka-dooka!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "I've set up a trust. It bypasses the inheritance tax. Only till 2008. Look into it!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Time to do what I do best. Lie to a child!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Mustache power: activate!", "c": ["Homer as Greystash"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "They went to Star Wars Land and fought star wars.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "I hate milk! It comes from cow wangs!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Man lips! Skinner loves Bart! Skinner loves Bart!", "c": ["Other kids"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "You mean...? / Exactly. You're barf to me now.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Don't say his name. In your mouth, it sounds like dirt!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "No man should outlive his fictional wizard. No man!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 8, "et": "The Haw Hawed Couple"}, {"t": "Laugh it up with Christ and Krusty / We got hired 'cause we are busty", "c": ["Krusty performers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Real nice laughing at an old man's pain", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "second-tier costume characters. Like Ribwich Rib-it!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "right off the plane from his dad's funeral, Sideshow Mel!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Elvis... Stojko!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "twinkly in the lutz", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Made-up girlfriend, made-up city", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "if I had paid for those skating lessons, that could've been you", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Nothin' slows down the baby boomers", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "You knew the deal", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Tell it to the Utah Jazz, snowflake", "c": ["Basketball player"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "I'll take one in 'wife' size and three in 'mistress' size", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "I need your advice picking out a gift for a very dear friend... A single fellow, a bit quiet, but one with a warm, loyal heart", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Hello, Phillip. What are you doing here? Oh-ho. Never you mind, Mr. Nosey", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Dad, he's not the real Santa. We can't afford that stuff. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Peace on earth? What? No! I-I mean, that's a given", "c": ["Lisa", "Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Gil! March your fake bootfronts over here!", "c": ["Mr. Costington"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "I couldn't walk very fast, though I'd learn if that's what it takes", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Taking back that doll would break a little girl's heart on Christmas Eve. I made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I would never do that", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Could you swing by my ex-wife's place? I want her to see me riding in a car", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "You're getting a cab, old man. In fact, I believe I see it now. / But I don't see a cab", "c": ["Homer", "Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Jazzin' around the Christmas tree / It's a skit skat holiday", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "I figured since you invited me to stay, I might as well go down to the bus locker and get my stuff", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "They're always running!", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Christian Charity? What does a porn star have to do with this?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "A spider bite, or as I like to call it, a 'Christmas kiss'", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "You're gonna put me out on Christmas day, huh? Well, that's all right", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "I just hope that weird priest with the runny eye ain't serving soup", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "That desert air's gonna give the ol' one-two to my bronchitis", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "your life can go to Hell pretty quick", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "That's why you have three kids", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Marjorie, we need you to hide our cigarettes in your dollhouse. / No! / Mom? Gramma? Aunt Larina? Anybody?", "c": ["Patty", "Selma", "Young Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Marge, I have no idea what you were just thinking about. Why would you think I did?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Those legs go on forever. Oh, wait, they stop right there", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "As long as I got a cup of coffee and a tomorrow on the calendar, ol' Gil's comin' back", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "I'm seeing the whole butcher shop", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Oh, mini quesadillas! Zesty!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "uses my leg razor to peel his carrots", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "That Photoshopping freak!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Don't worry. I make six of those a year", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Hey, Marge, you want a thousand dollars? No! I mean, yes! Too late", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "I'll have you know I'm 32", "c": ["Arizona resident"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Gunderson?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "And to think he and I once shared a shower", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "And to think he and I once shared a shower", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "we're not buying anything for more than 1.2, but if I scratch my nose, that means we can go to 1.5", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "He's talking at a Century 22 level", "c": ["Real estate agent"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "watch ol' Gil take her from furious to curious", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Why, he's as pathetic as we are", "c": ["Real estate customers"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "I can't live in this!", "c": ["Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 9, "et": "Kill Gil Volumes I Amp Ii"}, {"t": "Yes, thank you for talking to all of us like we just tuned in.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Ooh, a fat man falls real original.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Family physical comedy sequence fighting for space", "c": ["Homer", "Family"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick"], "cr": 4.29, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Tonight's G-rated gem is a silent film from my favorite year-- yester.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "While you're watching this quiet riot, I'll be slipping these religious pamphlets on your windshields.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Hey, can you fix the sound?! And the color! And show it in a regular theater?", "c": ["Crowd member"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "This movie isn't silent. I can hear it sucking.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "It's like an apple did it with an onion.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Wow, even I ain't hoping for porn.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "I'm gonna take her back there by burning that home movie on to a DVD.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "I'm gonna make her dream come true by downloading that movie on to her Ipod.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Oh, thank you. I was talking to the cat.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "It smells like heinie!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Oh, God, someone carved swastikas on your eyes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge, I'm sure it was just some guy filled with hate.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "It's not sugar. It's caramel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Slick Willie wiggles out of another one.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Maybe they under-spawned... Maybe the fish killed themselves... Maybe you should marry Milhouse.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "- Can I go again? - All night long, baby.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow,ba-boom! Ka-powi.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Well, at least they left your underwear on. That was nice of them.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Queer strange, or queer gay? Oh, a touch of both.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Its oil is used to polish stripper poles. Ugh, finally, something even I wouldn't eat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "I thought today was Opposite Day. By the way, you're very ugly. It's Opposite Day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "So that means... it is Opposite Day. It's not Opposite Day!", "c": ["Homer", "Billy"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Three years is a long ways away.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "I won't lie to you. It's the most powerful storm I've ever seen, and I've seen three storms.", "c": ["Weather expert"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "I'm sure our TiVo's are groaning with great shows.", "c": ["Billy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "All right, now listen, if a storm were coming, my trick knee would be acting up. Hey... hey... hey... hey. Dear God.", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "What's next, pepper water? Ha-ha.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "There were going to go to the folk art museum, then they were going to paint crab shells. Not crush them, paint them!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Yeah, but then we'd have to stand there while we get the doors unlocked. Don't you have one of them keys that beeps the doors open? Yeah, but still.", "c": ["Moe", "Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Should I hit him with a shovel to spare him the pain of drowning? Not yet. What's the code word?", "c": ["Sea Captain", "Billy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Oh, Mother Sea, giver of fish, taker of boats, toilet to the world, the Greeks call you 'Poseidon,' the Romans... 'Aquaman.'", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Do you think your mother will every remarry? In about two seconds.", "c": ["Sea Captain", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Do you think your mother will every remarry? In about two seconds.", "c": ["Captain", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "All we do know is they're in heaven now, hanging their lines off a cloud and fishing for airplanes.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "The hell we are!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "The hell we are!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, it's beautiful!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "I can't go back to living on the surface world! I can't!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "I always wanted to do that in a New England church.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "I always wanted to do that in a New England church.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "These logs have to go to Larry Flynt's paper mill, where they'll be made into Hustler and Barely Legal magazines.", "c": ["Truck driver"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "These logs have to go to Larry Flynt's paper mill, where they'll be made into Hustler and Barely Legal magazines. This is not what I wanted at all.", "c": ["Truck driver", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 10, "et": "The Wife Aquatic"}, {"t": "Which of the 25 easy-listening stations should we listen to? I say 'Cool Waves.' 'Neon Breeze!' 'Chill Thunder!' 'Chill Thunder!' You're all idiots. I'm putting it on 'Chill Thunder Lite.'", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Then what's America doing in Iraq?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Texas? No, France.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "The way all our words are either a girl or a guy. Oh, that's the best.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Don't worry! They're still drunk from school.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Uh... deux... trois.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Even if I did love England, I'd play it cool. Wait for it to come to me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "You moron! I'm already alive. In prison.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Hey, wait, did you guys hear that? He just admitted it. Guys? Oh, man, this place is so unfair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Well, that and the rat helmet.", "c": ["Guard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Can you loosen my arms so I can shake my fists? You're the traitor. Revenge! Okay. Thank you.", "c": ["Homer", "Guard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening. I was checking out my reflection in this yellow water. Ho-ho-ho-ho, looking good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Also, because while you slept, I violated you repeatedly.", "c": ["Old Prisoner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "running_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Ew! Silver. Ooh, a penny. This is my lucky day!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Oh, I love today's music. Fr\u00e8re this, and Jacques that. Out of sight.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "They're good for doing the wife, right?", "c": ["Meaux"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Okay, lesson learned. Friends again?", "c": ["Meaux"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "We were together for five years. Now who's going to take care of the triplets?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Plus, in the middle, I had to take revenge on some of my contractors.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "I'm gonna get my revenge, and if I get caught, I'm pinning it on the baby like the time I shot Mr. Burns.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "This is the turning point in the eternal battle of brain v. brawn.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "I can handle the glove. I took juggling at camp.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Oh, you are so dead you're alive.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "My fun bags! Please, have mercy! I always thought you were the coolest dork.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Except the ones with asthma, which is all of them.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Yup, having a weapon at school has really made things awesome.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "That's the only line I get in your stupid story?!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "There are no small parts, just small actors.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "This is my first day at this school. I haven't done anything to you! You will. This is prevenge.", "c": ["Student", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "You will. This is prevenge.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Opening the cup on your weirdo pills?", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "No, sweetie, the lesson is: never put down your weapon.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "You're too dumb to tell a story. No, seriously, you're great. Let's hear it.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "My story takes place in a time I call the past.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Avenge me. In flamboyant, impractical fashion.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "In my younger days, I was an ace crime fighter. The 'Crimson Cockatoo.'", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Holy Hannah! I've got more muscles than a New England clam bank.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "You can be the Crimson Cockaboy. Hmm? I'll keep thinking.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Your overzealous homicide has saved me 80 cents.", "c": ["Newspaper vendor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "like Howard Hughes knocks up young starlets!", "c": ["Radio announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "But I'm not a villain. I'm a transvestite. Explain that to your maker.", "c": ["Criminal", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Hope that's cobracetic. Hey, jerk, puns are lazy writing. D'oh!", "c": ["Serpent", "Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "No kidding because you're standing in the dip.", "c": ["Serpent"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Plus, I got zillions of dollars and no parents to tell me what to do.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Don't talk to me when I'm vibrating.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "We're both from Connecticut.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "Two? You think there are two... Well, I never. How could you... Why do you think it is that mankind is so inclined towards hating one another?", "c": ["Other driver", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 11, "et": "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Time"}, {"t": "In a world of 31 flavors, we're the cup of water they rinse the scoops in.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Grampa out.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "We should take lots of pictures of him while we still can. Camera's broken!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "With some clever scissor work, I can make the Lake Land Butter Indian maiden show me her boobs.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Clean, dirty.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Look what Snap's doing to Pop while Crackle watches!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Hitachee tribe", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Lisa, the world needs you to go to Wellesley!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "I didn't come here to be insulted. Guten tag!", "c": ["German person"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "By speaking with forked tongue, I am in heap big trouble. And now I'm thinking in stereotypes! That's even worse!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Must be the war cry of her tribe. Probably.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Still?! Are you drownin' 'em or makin' love to 'em?", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Why? You're not helping me. But, sir, I'm flaming!", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "These are drier than a Charles Grodin quip.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "My last words are 'Lisa sucks!'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "No way! I don't want my guts touching some sick guy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Oh, this is a bad time for me to have massive organ failure", "c": ["Background character"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Eat Marshall Tucker, idiot!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "They had seven names for that.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "My little girl's just like CBS News.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "North Dakota-lahoma.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "I kid, but he's a real jerk.", "c": ["John Squawking Bear"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, LBJ, how many pants you rip today?", "c": ["Hippie Hulk toy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Yeah. I have that disease that makes you look like an old man, but they gave me medicine for it and I took too much.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "They're gonna cut my head off...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "That is such a girl thing to say.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Oh, man, I must be the first guy who was ever pressured into marriage.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Really? We didn't? But we kissed and held hands at the same time. Wow, you really are ten. I thought you were just kind of stupid.", "c": ["Bart", "Darcy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "A Norwegian exchange student. He's long gone, back to Norwegia.", "c": ["Darcy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "I'm ten and stupid.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Home of America's most powerful weirdos?", "c": ["Darcy"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "I took the name from my microwave.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "I'm not Native American, either. I just ski a lot.", "c": ["John Squawking Bear"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "I'm Japanese. I'm an Aborigine. I'm two midgets in a costume.", "c": ["Various crowd members"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "I'm two midgets in a costume.", "c": ["Background character"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Take my wife... please. Hey, I finally get that joke.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "I mean, what kind of tramp gets knocked up before she's even married? I did.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "I mean in this day and age, when the link between sex and pregnancy has been proven so... conclusively... in Scientific American", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Actually, that was me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "What are you, gay?", "c": ["Utah officiant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Utah karate!", "c": ["Darcy's father"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "We can lie to the neighbors and tell them they're twins.", "c": ["Darcy's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Is that Bart? And I'll go... and you'll know.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "Instead we just ended up fighting all the time. Yeah, how 'bout that?", "c": ["Bart Simpson", "Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "And someday you'll be one, too.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 12, "et": "Little Big Girl"}, {"t": "These children ran the gamut of society: rich and poor, black and white, 'he'll grow into his looks' and 'forever hideous.'", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "My dad was a circus freak, but my mom don't remember which one. I like to think it was a little bit of all of them.", "c": ["Child"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "dreams dissolve like a muffin in the rain", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Will he grow up to work in a robot factory? Will she be the receptionist for a robot businessman? And will he be a crusader for robo-sexual rights? I say, 'yes,' 'no,' and 'yes.'", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "My cake will be a picture of a dinosaur and all the guests will say, 'Why, Lenny, that's a fine cake!' Then, 'Yes,' I'll say.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "I decided not to waste any more film on him after that.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "I wish for world peace. I wish for world war. Oh, yeah, that would be cooler.", "c": ["Child"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "I'll own a football team and a basketball team and I'll make them play baseball!", "c": ["Child Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "It hurts! It hurts so bad! Please, just put one in my brain! Okay. Uh, bang. Thank you.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Child"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Hey, detention bird! Thanks for not running in the hall. Go, Wildcats.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "What did I tell you about pointsy-towardsies?!", "c": ["Police Commandant"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "You seem a little cranky, Commandant. A back rub'll set you right. There we go. Don't be afraid to dig in there good!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Commandant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "If I was Chief, I could give you 8:30 every day.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "I'm not making fun of you. I'm making fun of your pants.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Well, they're a little, uh... They-they, uh... Oh, they're perfect.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "None. You never had any. I'm not a genie. D'oh!", "c": ["Declan Desmond", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Don't look at me. Look at the camera. Got it. I said, look at the camera. No problem. Now you're looking at a mud puddle. That's your hand. That's the production accountant. That's your other hand. Do you even know what a camera is? Well, of cour... No.", "c": ["Declan Desmond", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "I'm gonna put this squeaky toy on top of the camera. Squeaky! Squeaky! Squeaky, squeaky! Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky!", "c": ["Declan Desmond", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Manure for sale! Get your manure! Loamiest in town!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Um, I know Super Clean cleans, but does it scrub?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "The album cover's gonna be a naked girl with stars for boobs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "And I do open-casket caricatures. Did he have any hobbies? Get out of here!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "But Homer had found a peanut of hope in his Cracker Jack box of despair.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "He can chug a beer and pitch woo at the same time. The light from your eyes could guide a ship at sea.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Kids? No way! You'll never see a couple of rugrats tying me down!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "You better not put this shot after the one where I said I won't have kids. That would be a devastating edit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "You're not English Breakfast, but you're not Lapsang Soochong either.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Check with me in eight years, Dr. Who. I'll be kickin' your ass with a solid gold boot!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Why do you sound so shocked? This is our fifth take.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "That's why rich kids turn out so well.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Mine has a cup holder. Bart, that's a blowhole. You're a blowhole!", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Can you edit that? I don't want to say 'chest' in a movie.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "We pay him in limes That's right, limes.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "You see, Declan, I made my millions with a simple invention: the Condiment Pen!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "I got the idea from the regular pen.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "You can put horseradish on your dead mother for all I care.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Barely Literate, smells Like Feet", "c": ["Title card"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Ah, bullies approaching. Activate cloaking device.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "I've spent my whole life in the lab and never talked to a girl. That's why I built this time machine.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "one where I'll meet a female woman of the girl-u-lar variety", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "That was... Hey, I'm still going, but...", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Your Honor, I'd like to request a continuance so I can go deliver a baby. I love babies.", "c": ["Eleanor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "So, sometimes-- don't shoot me-- I have a glass of wine with Buster here. He's a real comfort.", "c": ["Eleanor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Aw, crap, my first kiss. You could do a lot worse, my friend", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "I got a picture of you tattooed on my chest. They had a sale on skulls.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "so he has time to work on his rock music, his erotic etchings, his Play-Doh Theater...", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "As shocks go, this one's a real zaparoo.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "This is Eduardo, my pool boy. He thinks he's an angry, rich man. I am an angry, rich man. That's the pool chemicals talking.", "c": ["Homer", "Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "You can have the boy. Just don't beat him. You can beat him. Just don't leave marks.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Using the suspension spring above the pendulum leader, hang the pendulum on the pendulum guide...", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Please get me out of here. It's 11:59:59.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Shadow and Winston have been fighting a lot. Put Winston in the front. Winston doesn't like the front.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "'Why lie?' and 'Lies... why?'", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Did you ever try that new shampoo? Nope, never did. Want to watch me pay my cable bill? I got checks with butterflies on them. - I am interesting. - No, you're not.", "c": ["Lenny", "Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "I am interesting. No, you're not.", "c": ["Lenny", "Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Same job, same house, same dirty joke book.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Strong words from a dumpy man.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Wait just a cotton-swabbing minute!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "What's the matter, Declan? Did a cop give you a ticket for talking like a fruit?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "I actually feel affection for these knuckle-dragging sub-monkeys.", "c": ["Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "- That's an ad for shoe inserts. - What the....? I've been writing creepy letters to that?", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "An action movie where I play the Pope who kills the president? No, that's a terrible idea. Yeah, I know. It's stupid. I think it could work, though. I've even got a title: Pontiff No Return. I came up with it, but I don't really get it.", "c": ["Barney", "Declan Desmond"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "O, spirit! Are you gonna show me my future? My snow-flecked grave, mourned by no man?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "O, spirit! Are you gonna show me my future? My snow-flecked grave, mourned by no man? Well, it's not too late for me to change! You there, boy! Buy me a Christmas goose! The biggest one in the shop! And then what?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "He picked the perfect time to lock in his mortgage.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "Homer gave me a kidney. It wasn't his, I didn't need it, and it came postage due, but still, a lovely gesture.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.27, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "At bedtime, he tucks me in tighter than anyone else could. And you know what? No monsters have gotten me yet.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "hanging out with my family, drinking with my friends, making friends with my family and hanging with my drinking.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 13, "et": "Springfield Up"}, {"t": "It's amazing how they always solve the crime just before they run out of pages.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "James Patterson! Come with me, Marge. Help me think of new nursery rhyme-themed titles for my thrillers.", "c": ["James Patterson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Ooh, how about 'Little Bo Peep'? That's great. A clue could be her sheep.", "c": ["Marge", "James Patterson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Eh, stumbled home at dawn, same diff.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "What kind of lunch is this? A drawing of a sandwich.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Abe, pull over! You're not the driver! Shut up, pizzas! I've gotta deliver you!", "c": ["Abe", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Unless I 'scare' one up.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Stanley, Stanley, no degree. Two credits short at MIT.", "c": ["Willie", "Kids"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Needs more girl.", "c": ["Dark Stanley"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "When they came back the next day, the whole cemetery was missing!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "They say Dark Stanley makes your skull into a toilet and wee-wees into it.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Nobody pajamanates my skin.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Why aren't you a-scareded?", "c": ["Kid"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Murther!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "I'll bring those wee ones back dead or alive. Not dead. Ah, ya never let Willie be Willie.", "c": ["Willie", "Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "I teach the big ones and the big ones teach the little ones, but no one ever taught me, which makes the whole thing just an exercise in futility.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Plus our last bake sale was a disaster. People took bites without buying the cookies.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "I warn you, young lady, we can fumfur all day.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "How do we gag a blabbermouth like Lisa?", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Would she shut her trap For a gift card from the Gap?", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "You have a lovely voice, sir. Why do you have to make everything weird?", "c": ["Lisa", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Hey, kids! The plow done birthed a girl-critter!", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Now, if you need me, I'll be on the porch drinkin' Thomsen's Water Seal.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Witney! Jitney! Dubya! Incest! Crystal Meth! International Harvester! Birthday!", "c": ["Cletus's children"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Are we gonna do this much work every day?", "c": ["Cletus child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "But the school's paying for five sessions and there's a Chinese restaurant next door where I can get drunk.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "This school has sent me to more therapists than you've had bad dates.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Actually, I just got 'Death Kill City II: Death Kill Stories.' Whoa! You've got 'DKC2: DKS'? That one's rated 'Bad for Everyone.'", "c": ["Dr. Swanson", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "You have destroyed all human life on earth. Level 1 complete.", "c": ["Video game"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "How is any of this gonna put dog meat on my plate?", "c": ["Cletus child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "'The county fair is always sucky to visit on a hot summer fart.' 'You can eat delicious cotton hate, and ride the Ferris burp and the Merry-go-booger.'", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "My dad never takes me on the merry-go-booger. He's always passed out in the parking snot.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Every president has a word balloon that says 'I am gay.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "These colorful bums is funny!", "c": ["Cletus child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Mistos and lattes and grandes and ventis / Browsing at bookstores with fat cognoscentis", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Comparing Jim Carrey to Dario Fo!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Mrs. Skinner is Mame", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Hey! You're one of those funny people with a big crazy nose. A clown? No, a... Joker!", "c": ["Cletus child", "Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "And then I had this dream that my whole family was just cartoon characters, and that our success had led to some crazy propaganda network called 'Fox News.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "I think I just got dumped.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "That is because you're robbing my brother Sanjay.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Now I don't sign nothin' without pretendin' to read it first.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger. Looks good!", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "I have eight teeth Going on seven teeth", "c": ["Cletus children"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "We live on landfill And feast on roadkill While we all drink Moonshine", "c": ["Cletus children"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Look at those morons. They sing because they're stupid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "What's your name again, fuzz-face? Stephen Sondheim.", "c": ["Krusty", "Sondheim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "You didn't?! Oh, no!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "President or ayatollah Everyone loves new Buzz Cola With lemon", "c": ["Sondheim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Uh... how do we get the real dog out?", "c": ["Person"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Do you think I'm telling people not to have a cow because deep down I want them to have a cow?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "If it doesn't work, maybe when you're an adult, you can pay some lady to make you happy for an hour.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Maybe when you're an adult, you can pay some lady to make you happy for an hour. You know, I'm pretty sure I will.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "That, and Stanley was the brand of hammer my dad used to hit me with.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "One of these days I might have a complete psychotic breakdown. Aw... I'd like that.", "c": ["Bart", "Dr. Swanson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "One of these days I might have a complete psychotic breakdown. Aw... I'd like that.", "c": ["Bart", "Dr. Swanson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Ain't that lyin', Mr. Krusty?", "c": ["Cletus child"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "I'm blue collar. I'm totally blue collar. My dad owns a shovel.", "c": ["Andy Dick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "Brandine! You're supposed to be in Iraq, stopping 9/11!", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "He's only the father of two of 'em! The one that can't sing and the one that can't ad lib.", "c": ["Brandine"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "How much money do we have left? Uh, I owe Krusty $12,000. We can live on that.", "c": ["Brandine", "Cletus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 14, "et": "Yokel Chords"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm back in wooden times!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Wow, the graphics are amazing. That ball almost seems real!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "What the...? But I thought bankruptcy was the cool law! The one that says 'Dude, don't worry about it. I got this.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Permission to moan? / I'll allow it.", "c": ["Homer", "Judge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Of course, you idiot, 'cause I'm wishing for more money.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Three subscriptions to Vanity Fair? / I've got three bathrooms, don't I?", "c": ["Financial Officer", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Shut up! It's an instructional website! Shut up!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "You promised me I could die here!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "I saw you doing a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle in there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "To save gas, I'm Flintstone-ing the car.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "So... very...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Keep Cool With Coolidge / Lilian Gish in Broken blossoms", "c": ["Visual"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "A.S.S. American Shipping Services Not affiliated with the human ass", "c": ["Visual"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Could a kid like me get these boxes, then use them for whatever he wanted? / Only if he fibbed about his name, age, and occupation on this automated 800 number.", "c": ["Bart", "Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Nothing like un-tossing a leftover salad.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Hands off, you big blue Buttinski!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Blood, bile, spinal fluid, blood, other, phlegm, miscellaneous ooze...", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "No!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Maybe it's the bang-up job he did raising you. / He was a great dad. Every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents.", "c": ["Selma", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "I know what you're wondering. How come a single woman with so much to offer is alone on a Saturday night. / I assumed you were resting up for bingo tomorrow, like me.", "c": ["Selma", "Grampa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "My numbers don't get called much these days.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Wow, that's the first time anyone's ever put an adjective before calling me a thing.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "You know, I was voted best kisser in my P.O.W. camp.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Well, if he dies in my arms, I could meet a cute paramedic.", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "All right, lips, man your kissing stations. This is not a drill.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Ah! A bear is eating my father! / I'm Selma. / Ah! A talking bear is eating my father!", "c": ["Homer", "Selma"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "I'm a little shaky on when and where, but I got my theories.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Oh, why did I borrow that roof from him?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Are you run by dogs or for dogs? Actually, don't answer. I like not knowing.", "c": ["Phone Representative"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "'Build a fart.' I love it. / Fort. That's 'build a fort.' / That might work, too.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "At my age, and with your drawbacks, we can't afford to miss an opportunity.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Slow down, you hussy.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Is she really going out with him? Is she really gonna take him home tonight?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "It's like an old sea turtle dating a suitcase that fell out of a plane.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Like how the parts of a pig nobody wants combine to make a yummy hot dog. / Oh, now you're dragging hot dogs into this. Real classy, Marge. Real classy.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "We wrote that joke in the water. It wasn't all frolicking.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Don't those two gargoyles know that love is for good-looking young people?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Well, gee, Homer, you, uh, ain't exactly open-casket material yourself.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Look, if you want to break up your father and Selma, I have a plan. But it involves you. / Okay, but I'm not good at details. Or the big picture. I also show up late. And drunk.", "c": ["Patty", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Lower the drawbridge! / What's the password? / I love my sister.", "c": ["Ned", "Bart", "Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "I shall go, but I will return with an army of my brethren and together we shall take back what is ours and Hell will rain down upon you! / What if we're not here? / We will come two more times, and then you'll have to come to our customer center.", "c": ["Ned", "Bart", "Ned"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "It's near the airport, where the old Crown Books used to be.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Hola, I am Esteban de la Sexface. That means 'Stephen of the Sexface.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Okay, now let's prepare our mental images so we can kiss each other without barfing.", "c": ["Patty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Dos Selmas? Ay-yi-yi!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "I guess I always dreamed that my father would grow old alone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "A thousand, eh?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Dad, don't throw rice, it makes the birds swell up! / Oh, Lisa, that's one of those rumors you get off the Internet.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "Nothing solves everything forever like a wedding.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 15, "et": "Rome Old And Juli Eh"}, {"t": "I don't have to make a wish, because I already have this wonderful family. I wish for infinity hamburgers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Oh, I get it. These are those trick candles you can't blow out. No, Dad, they're the opposite. 'E-Z BLO.' This ends now.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "It's okay, Homie. You're probably just tired from not doing anything all day.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Dad, you're out of shape even for an American.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "How many did I get? None? That's cool.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "You know how many fires are started by birthday candles? If you do, tell me. It would settle a bet down at the station house. I say five, Gus says a million.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Feels good to tell the truth. No, I'm lying again, it feels bad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Our kids used to be so cute. Used to?! Oh, deal with it.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "So I made this elaborate decision tree, which in itself is worthy of preservation.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "I picked my Malibu Stacy hybrid convertible. It runs on her old make up and out-of-style shoes.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Where do the kids today get these band names? 'The Kinks?' 'The Stones?' Sounds like my last physical!", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "You see all those crazy new electronics? iPod... iTunes... I give up!", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "I don't know-- maybe the Krusty doll accidentally turned on the car's headlight, which focused on the cologne bottle, causing it to boil, and soon explode.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "What's the deal with this 'California pizza'? If I wanted... cheese and fruit, I'd have to...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "It's like what a resume is for a man.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Lisa, you fool. You've doomed us all.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Oh, man, I thought I was strong enough to get through this again, but I'm not.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Oh, Captain Janeway! Your mission ended too soon. Too soon.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Here I am on the space shuttle, orbiting Earth. It sure was nice of NASA to send you up again.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Duffman's on a date with Booberella. He's supposed to be in a stable, long-term gay relationship.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Like Lindsay Lohan looking drunk, high and bony. Click, click, career over, see ya in the gutter, freckles!", "c": ["Tabloid Editor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Moderately wealthy? Whee! I'm sort of rich! I can rent anything I want!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Your head dinged my door panel! Jerks like you ought to be shot!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "How about you, Gabbo? Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! Okay, how about an autograph for my kids? Well, when you put it that way... Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi yi-yi-yi-yi!", "c": ["Homer", "Gabbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Imported beer? Seedless grapes? Chewing gum? The clown on this cereal box is just a person.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Hey, Paris, I saw a disgusting part of your body on the Internet-- your face! I'm still breaking in this nose!", "c": ["Bart", "Paris Texan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Hello, Homer. Have you lost weight? Oh, like you care, Betty White. Tell me, how's Maggie? Her name is Marge! I was talking about your baby.", "c": ["Betty White", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Your hip-hop CD was boastful and unnecessary.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "What are the first three? Nobility, clergy and commoners. Learn your French history.", "c": ["Drederick Tatum", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "What the hell did you do that for? I wanted to remember my place in the book I was reading.", "c": ["Homer", "Drederick Tatum"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Boy, I never thought I'd have my own darkroom. Yes, but why does it have to be in my bedroom?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Kids they always say they're not tired when they're the most tired of all.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Sideshow Mel is in a custody battle?! And it's turning bitter? If you read one more thing, it is a purchase.", "c": ["Marge", "Store Clerk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Did I attach the harness?! No! Should attach it for you?! If you don't mind...!", "c": ["Homer", "Helicopter Pilot"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Do you, Rainier Luftwaffe Wolfcastle, take Maria Shriver-Kennedy-Quimby... Up, up, and annoy!", "c": ["Minister", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Yes! I also wreck bar mitzvahs!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "First Amendment rules, privacy drools!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Krusty, your response was the least funny. I'm a visual comedian. Did you get the j-peg? Wouldn't open.", "c": ["Rainier", "Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "How are you gonna help us, Beefaroni?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Now please, take some sushi, 'cause if I give it to the dogs, they will think, 'Oh, now I get sushi all the time.' And I am not made of sushi.", "c": ["Rainier"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Now, Maggie, I had to use your car seat to hold the new TV Guide... so I'm gonna hang you from the mirror.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "He's trying to make me look like a bad father. Maggie, take the wheel! Ten and two, Einstein!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "I have no friends. Friends take time. And time is money, and money pays for things, like a manicure and a boiled egg.", "c": ["Tabloid Editor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "So long, anti-clotting agent! Clot, clot, clot, clot clot, clot, clot, clot!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "With Homer Simpson out of the way, we can go back to our lives of sybaritic excess. Stem cell fajita?", "c": ["Celebrity", "Celebrity"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "You know who I can't stand? That Robin Williams. You know, one time I saw him eating dinner with his children. He wouldn't take the time out to do all the funny bits from his movies.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "And my sister once saw Burt Reynolds at an airport, and he wouldn't even cosign her mortgage.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "I was gonna use it to take secret photos in the ladies' toilet, but, uh, no dames ever come in this joint.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Excuse me, do you have a ladies' room? We need to trade bras and panties. Oh, you got to be kidding me!", "c": ["Women", "Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "You call this a drink? No, I never called it a drink.", "c": ["Customer", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Let one of us regular guys write a terrible children's book!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Say, Rainier, you're in show business. Would you mind taking a look at this screenplay I wrote? Oh, sorry. I do not read unsolicited manuscripts.", "c": ["Homer", "Rainier"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "Well, at least it got made.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 16, "et": "Homerazzi"}, {"t": "we've had to sell the science department skeleton and replace it with this Halloween costume", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "and your $1,500 deposits will not be refunded", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Ooh, Papa John's!", "c": ["Unknown parent"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Did you know that Hezbollah owns Little Dolly Snack Cakes?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Fine, I'll log onto Wahoo or Yippy or A-O-K or Pooka-dooka, whatever it's called", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I pay my taxes, I expect my orange drink!", "c": ["Unknown parent"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I never have to look out the window again", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Kids, get in the car! We're going to Pennsylvania!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "And all this time, I thought 'Googling yourself' meant the other thing", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Everyone can see you! Get inside! / Never! / Just put on a towel! / Why don't I just put on a dress?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Not naked, I haven't", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "You're like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "The only thing that changes is the banner ad", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Credit card information may be sold to Korean gangsters", "c": ["Game terms"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Look at those bazooms. Who designed this character? Probably a man", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Body type: Olive Oyl", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "it's like a renaissance fair, but without all the chubby couples", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "maybe I should run this by my husband first / Things are more fun if you just answer 'yes'", "c": ["Marge", "Game NPC"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Hither me forth on mine arduous quest / Once again, just 'yes'", "c": ["Marge", "Game NPC"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "We just got up. It's 7:00 a.m. / Actually, it's Saturday / I played a day and a night", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "The prison guards think I'm getting my online law degree", "c": ["Snake"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "This game is a great way to meet eligible men who can afford a computer. Or have access to one at the school library", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "It's amazing how you can be a turkey in every reality", "c": ["Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I'm playing this while I'm on the can", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "You're a troll. / What? No. My character's supposed to look like me. Why does everyone keep thinking I'm a troll?!", "c": ["Marge", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "He once beat me to death with my own life bar", "c": ["Unknown player"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "He was a good man. A good, moist man", "c": ["Unknown player"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "My son is an evil knight! The most successful evil knight in all the Earthland Realms! Not bad", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I'm not a lady, it's a spell, a spell you said you'd reverse. / Yeah, yeah, it's on my list", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Why Milhouse, don't you look pretty! / It's a spell! / And thank you", "c": ["Marge", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "How would you like it if I suddenly started going shopping with you? / I'd like that very much", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "In the presence of a lady, a goblin must remove his hat and ears", "c": ["Goblin NPC"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "You're making me look bad in front of my minions! / If they think less of you because of me, then they're not really your minions", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Here, let me enchant your pants", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "In my day, girls were worried about their boobs", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Love counts for nothing! Business contacts are more important than love!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I always called it 'human foosball'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Being a ref is a thankless job... the parents hate ya... the only upside is the kids share their snack with you", "c": ["Former referee"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I got fired from Foot Locker. Kicks just keep getting harder to find...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "The American flag not good enough for ya? / That was my father. / I'm your father now", "c": ["Homer", "Child", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Until I swallowed the whistle", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "You don't even know the rules! / - Hilarious joke? - Sadly, no", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I was about to go to the Pottery Barn site to get design ideas", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I'm in the tub right now", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I almost saw a goal! But there were so many ads for Spanish cell phones", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "You are so blind, even Jesus couldn't heal you! / Helen, please. Don't drop the J bomb", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.84, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Lisa gets a penalty kick, and every other kid has to pay her a dollar", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Sir, I have sired a dum-dum, a mush-head, a what's-it, a dog boy, and something with a human face and fish body, what we called Kevin, but my young'uns is not dirty players", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "That's hill-William to you, sir", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "You heard Geraldo", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "When I put on these shorts, I'm not your father anymore, and judging by how tight they are, I'm never going to be anyone else's, either", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Another family broken up by Ronaldo", "c": ["Ronaldo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I thought all the swords and severed heads were kind of gory, so I redecorated using the Hello Kitty expansion pack", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I was killed by my own son", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "A game I used to enjoy before you mommed all over it", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Son, I'll never understand women if I live to be 40. / Big if", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "He, Moe, you give good advice. / Yeah. What have you done with the real Moe?", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "22 years later, this riot is still going on", "c": ["Documentary narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "a statue of the Virgin Mary came alive... and beat the holy snot out of everyone", "c": ["Documentary narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Now I'm paying for crap like American Masters", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Those places are pretty terrible", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "If you kill me, I'll egg your houses in real life! / It's still worth it / I live in a loft!", "c": ["Unknown player", "Another player", "First player"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Whatever. I'm gonna go play outside", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "Why am I paying $14.95 a month for this?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 17, "et": "Marge Gamer"}, {"t": "I got hung up at the snack stand watching those hot dogs rolling and turning, not a care in the world.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "By my calculations, we're only one strike away from victory. Numbers are fun.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "who made me this beautiful black bicep warmer! It keeps me naughty hands busy.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "I got it! I got it! I hogged it! I hogged it!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "This makes up for everything that's gone wrong in my life or ever will!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Behold my naked butt! Each cheek is a god to you!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "In this modern-day Deadwood you can do anything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Well, he's done very well for someone who came out blue and backwards.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Listen, do you mind if I hum while you talk?", "c": ["Store Clerk"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "I hate shopping! I'm bored; my feet hurt; I'm too big for the choo-choo train.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Unless you're serving me a cold beer, you keep moving.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "My wife's lookin' for a bathing suit that doesn't make her look 'horsey.' So, I'm gonna be here a while.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Sure feels weird lying on top of the covers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Sure feels weird lying in bed with my pants on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "It works with my body's natural curves and supports my back-boobs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "That's the best endorsement I've heard since Mickey Mantle for Maypo!", "c": ["Mattress Store Manager"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "You do now, son! You're hired!", "c": ["Mattress Store Manager"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Why don't thousands come to watch a teacher inspire a child?", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "But it did happen. Just yesterday, in Crazytown!", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Luigi's, they deliver on flavor, but not to your house!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "The bullets will come down! And kill my sister.", "c": ["Hispanic Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "It's like watching a monkey swallow a hand grenade.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "If Homer had used some protection, we'd all be poopin' roses on easy street!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Was there even a baseball game yesterday? I don't remember...", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Let me tell you about a land where it rains beer and hails pretzels and you can play swim-up blackjack with Abraham Lincoln.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "I feel like I'm floating on a river of corpses.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "I'm a licensed mattress professional, if there were such a thing", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Okay, who else is dead in bed?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "He died, Bart. Dad buried him in the backyard. But not in that order.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "hitting Eleanor Roosevelt, who up till then had been a great beauty.", "c": ["Joe LaBoot"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Yeah, in Idaho.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "You stink like a Dutchman's throw-up.", "c": ["Fan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "I had had like a million Doritos. You know, the ones with the flame on the bag? Oh-ho, that bag ain't lyin'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "We tried raising Cain, but we weren't able.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Pay to the order of Stupid Reverend. Memo: Bite my ass.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "It was made for Elvis, but he found it tacky.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Lousy Reverend, he's having my sex while I'm at home with Marge not doing anything sensual or erotic.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "See? I hate me, too. Now we can be friends again.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Well, I wrote a best-selling series of mystery novels. Stephen King called it, 'Scary, good fun.'", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "if you pretend to be a ghost at an old amusement park I'm trying to buy.", "c": ["Shelbyville Coach"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "It's not like they're made of skunk tails and horse nipples.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "It looks like a grilled-cheese sandwich. Or a chicken club. Or a Reuben. Or a Monte Cristo, or...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "We even have the same bum looking at us.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "And the 78th time is the charm!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "It was a fake just now.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 18, "et": "The Boys Of Bummer"}, {"t": "Are Bees Building Hives in your Diaper Genie? The Deadly Truth about Oxygen.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Growing up means giving up everything that makes you happy. It's true. I've given up everything but raisins.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "And the doctor says they're killing me. Sweet, plump coffin nails is what they are.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "It's a Larry Flynt publication! Lisa, stop reading mastheads. I can't. I won't!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "How about Syntho-Nip? Kiddy Cork? Thumbstitute? AccuTeat? Bink 182? Want to suck on the receipt?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Larry Flynt? Larry Flynt? Larry Flynt? Larry Flynt, Larry Flynt, Larry Flynt?!", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Good work, boy. Just for that, we're going to treat your heart murmur, not just 'see how it goes'.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Oh, stupid baby. Growing her brain on my dime.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Nappien activates your brain's napping centers, and attacks your body's awake-agens. And unlike Sleepia, it won't cause foot fattening or elbow stink.", "c": ["Commercial narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Thank you, methasorbizone tartrate, also known as Nappien.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "And someone used our videotapes as dominoes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "If I had set up those dominoes, I'd be wearing my special domino-setting-up kneepads.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Mood swings?! Mood swings. Mood swings! Mood swings? Mood swings! Mood swings!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "So you're the one behind all these hijinks at the Rock 'N' Roll Wax Museum.", "c": ["Security guard"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Well, son, your Uncle Homer is like 80% of America wacked out on prescription drugs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Oh! I have three kids and no money! Why can't I have no kids and three money?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Want to come out and play? Zombie kill. No, play! Zombie file grievance.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Zombie montage.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Zombie montage.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "What are you, a travel agent? 'Cause you're sending me on a guilt trip.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Oh, not as bad as knowing that somewhere, gays are marrying each other. That's the real emergency, Kent.", "c": ["Burning man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Just call me Fireman Skinner.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Lousy civilians. I wish I could burn 'em all.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Is that one? That's just someone barbecuing. Oh! Is that one? That's a guy with red hair.", "c": ["Homer", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Is that one? That's just someone barbecuing. Oh! Is that one? That's a guy with red hair.", "c": ["Homer", "Other fireman"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Soggy, smoky hero.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Luigi give you all the food you want! On the house!", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "You save-a Luigi's place! Mwah! Mwah! Luigi give you all the food you want! On the house!", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Hey, this is sweet, huh? Almost makes up for not gettin' paid. We don't get what?", "c": ["Homer", "Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Frankenberry the Movie 2: The Frankenberry Wears Prada", "c": ["Action movie star"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "People owe us because we're heroes. It's even on my business card. I printed them on the back of my old business cards. See? It's different.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "So, I see by your tie you're a Yale man, too. Let's croon, shall we? Boola, boola, boola, boola...", "c": ["Mr. Burns", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "But since I thought you were dead, you won't get paid this week. Make a note of it.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Go back to your tenements, where the O'Briens live next to the Goldbergs, who rub elbows with Antonellis, and the only thing you have in common is the squalor of your chamber pot!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, whoa. It ain't stealing if you take it fast.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "And some stuff I wanted.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "It would be a shame if the next fire you fought was in hell!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "It would be a shame if the next fire you fought was in hell!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Oh, thank God there's a fire. Marge's birthday's coming up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Oh, bogus gizmo, grant me eternal life.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Look at me, guys! I'm stealing five Segways at once! And speaking of segues, I'm off to my next morally questionable activity!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "We're not thieves; we're scavengers, like the beautiful vulture or the heroic tapeworm, or America's sweetheart, the maggot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Oh! This thing's hotter than Ellen Barkin!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "But it's been in my family for over 40 seconds!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Apu is dead. I was reincarnated as this cat.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Oh, you have just been Apu'd!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Look at me. I'm the bum of the future!", "c": ["Bum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 19, "et": "Crook And Ladder"}, {"t": "Pearls are not oyster barf", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Sorry, sir, this is a harvest festival. No alcohol. I'm gonna have to confiscate those steins.", "c": ["Festival Worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Wagon wheels were the Internet of the 19th century! Really? No.", "c": ["Wagon Wheel Maker", "Tourist"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Styrofoam? You stuffed your horn?! What? Everybody does it.", "c": ["Homer", "Cornucopia Owner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "I can testify at the trial. Ain't gon' be no trial.", "c": ["Witness", "Local"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Where the hell is Abigail Adams?! Oh, there she is. Where the hell is Mary Todd Lincoln?! Oh, she's right there. Where the hell is Ida Saxton McKinley?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Puh! I didn't come here to be insulted. We're leaving!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Sure is a lot of corn in this parking lot. Dad, we're in the maze.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Corn. More corn. Another kid getting thrown in the air. Witch's coven. Seattle Space Needle. Amateur production of You Can't Take It With You", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Split up?! Marge, no! We can fix this marriage!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Before I met you, I had friends and dreams! Oh, please take me back. The dating scene is a nightmare. I'm begging you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Of our marriage?! I don't want to live! I don't want to live...!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Hey, this maze is made of corn!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Electrified for your enjoyment. Signs also electrified.", "c": ["Sign Text"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "No, you didn't. Your plan was to burn the corn. That was never my plan.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "I don't have any holders!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "We'll send a member of our elite canine unit in to find your husband's corpse. Uh, living corpse.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Chief, I'm afraid Officer Jaws is guilty of littering... and here's the litter!", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "He just needs it for walking upstairs.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "In case I don't make it, here are my Oscar picks for next year. Best Sound Effects Editing: the team from...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "I don't think he's ever thought about anything.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "No, and never bring it up again! Please, can he? All right.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "For the next two weeks, I'm gonna be your worst enemy, except this Thursday is the Fourth of July, so we'll take Friday off as well. Well, I guess Wednesday everybody's going to be thinking about the long weekend, so...eh, what the hell? Why don't we just take the whole week off?", "c": ["Police Trainer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Why did you let me do that? We are so far behind.", "c": ["Police Trainer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Whoa, whoa, whoa. 'Blow'? 'Cage'? You're in uniform, Lou. Don't slang it up.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Keep your noses clean and your hearts free of worms.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "It ain't like Air Bud V: Strong Arm Of The Paw.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "You gave that hog a day of beauty, and I didn't get nothing! Manicure... pedicure... exfoliation!", "c": ["Cletus's Wife"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Is you man or turtle? Here's your answer. Skittle, skittle, scurry, skittle.", "c": ["Cletus's Wife", "Cletus"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "I even have to eat my own homework.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Chief, why are you using the walkie-talkie? I can hear you fine. Fine. Let's not use any of our police equipment.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "I want to pump my guns. I want to rip my pecs. I want to shriv my nards.", "c": ["Steroid Buyer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Nobody ever freezes. Might as well just say 'run.'", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Guilty... of being innocent!", "c": ["Drug Dealer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Don't worry, dude, I'm going straight... straight to my customers to sell more drugs.", "c": ["Drug Dealer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Now that he's had a taste of human flesh, the dog will be a slave to its succulence. Look at him eyeing me. He knows I taste best.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Me, I knit violent imagery. Pretty grim, huh?", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "What if Santa's Little Helper stops being a police dog, then he can get a nonviolent job like barking songs on novelty Christmas records.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "No, boy, that's Hanukah! Forget it, kid. He's a cop now.", "c": ["Bart", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Oh, relax, Marge. I'm just messing with you. I know I'm not a dog. I'm a people, like you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "They don't love us. They just love the uniform.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "We'll get you their most vicious street cur! He'll bite your ass raw!", "c": ["Pet Store Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Our pythons cost five dollars a foot. We're not made of money!", "c": ["Pet Store Employee", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "It says here don't bother naming them. Snakes have poor hearing, and only live to strangle. I like it. 'Strangles.'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "He's not slimy at all. He's scaly. Eww! He is slimy! That's because I soaked him in slime!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "He's not slimy at all. He's scaly. Eww! He is slimy! That's because I soaked him in slime!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Well, I can breathe out okay.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Don't... give... snake... attention. It's what... he really... wants!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "After months of practice, I have trained my rabbit to hop in perfect tempo to Mussorgsky's immortal Pictures at an Exhibition.", "c": ["Competition Participant"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Hey, don't ask me to show if you can't handle the tell.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Mine was as funny as his. No one's arguing with you, lady.", "c": ["Female Teacher", "Male Teacher"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "I taste the flavor. It's a very mild mint. Well, maybe, because it's a minty color, your mind is fooling your tongue. I know what I taste!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Children, line up according to height. No, weight. No, the sum total of the letters in your last name if each letter is assigned a numeric value according to its place in the alphabet. Quickly, now!", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "He's not following his nose this time. He's following his heart. Sometimes I forget why you're chief, but I remember now!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Oh, man, it's like some chemicals cut one.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Sorry, but a boy's got to go with his dog. If he hurts you again, don't call me.", "c": ["Strangles"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Who am I kidding, I'll always be there for you.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "That'll do, snake. That'll do.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 20, "et": "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"}, {"t": "Previously on 24... I mean The Simpsons", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Head Hall Monitor Loves Poneis / Hates Phonies", "c": ["Background character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Enhance! Skinner Stinks Dehance! Dehance!", "c": ["Database"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Principal / Mama's Boy", "c": ["Background"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "We helped.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "ATM User Devoted Father of Two", "c": ["Background"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "you song-less land whale", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "I'll teach you to make a Poupon 'me.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Or maybe it's a.m. Whichever one is the morning one, it's not that one.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "If a dead fish and a homeless person had a baby, and the baby puked, and a dog ate the puke, this smells like the rear end of that dog!", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Let's spit in the coffee pots. I call hazelnut.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Dolph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Now this crossword's nothin' but swears.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Permission to buy a Hostess fruit pie to keep my strength up? Denied.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Hey, lay off. You're the fat one of you guys! I'm bulking up for football!", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "You call that playing to win?", "c": ["Kearney"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "This is our life now, Milhouse. We're Dumpster folk.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "He'll be somewhat missed.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Lord, give me guidance. That's right, the Guidance Department Detention Room. Thank you, Mrs. Lord.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Kids love the zing of raisins!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Wow, that's a swear? Used as a noun it is. Sweet!", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "six weeks of bottled farts", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Put a top on, Mom! Everyone's seen your implants. But the doctor said the air will help them... Just go!", "c": ["Jimbo", "Carol"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Lookin' good, Carol!", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "The teacher gave him a frowny-face.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Scram... boiled eggs would be lovely for breakfast, Mother.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Damn it, these blue prints are all wrong. Where's the roller coaster room and the shark tank?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Son of a beach ball, they're gone!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Ahmed Adoody. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoody? Ahmed Adoody, wealthy Saudi financier. Really? No, Jack, it's a joke name.", "c": ["Bart", "Jack Bauer", "Chloe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "20 minutes at 300 degrees is the equivalent of five minutes at... 1,200 degrees.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Pink frosting fixes everything.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Say, is your butt numb from all this vibrating? Oh, mine is. Still, I wouldn't describe it as unpleasant.", "c": ["Homer", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Oh, sweet mother of Mary!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Old Betsy'll get us there.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "This is as boring as mainstream cinema.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "This is as boring as mainstream cinema.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "What is it about a woman in a Dumpster?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "They're gonna wish the bake sale was a nose plug sale.", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "And it totally isn't.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "I'll mop up your blood from the inside!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Skip, skip, skip to my Lou... Top of the morning, Nelson. And to you, Martin.", "c": ["Martin", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Can't a guy enjoy a catchy tune?", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "You're on a Bluetooth cell phone, the most vulnerable device known to man. But it looks so cool.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "You're on a Bluetooth cell phone, the most vulnerable device known to man. But it looks so cool.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Rice Krispie Treats?! Way to phone it in, Sarah Wiggum.", "c": ["Unknown parent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "All here, from Asimov to Zarathustra.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Smell you later. Three minutes later, to be exact.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Don't worry, it's not too moist.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "All the other husbands don't come home dirty from fighting. I had to fight. Lenny said his dad is Hulk Hogan, and I know he's not.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm fine. They haven't made a French horn yet that can hurt me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "That's a class-five stench-dispersal unit.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "There's over 30 years of wiener soakings in there.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "And I just sharpened those blades.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "As you're dying, jam the blades with your spine.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "With seven cups of coffee still in it. Oh, wait, six.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Oh, that's convenient.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "I don't want to live if I have to clean up this mess.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm just glad you taste like hot dogs.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "I pulled every single field agent off all other cases to track you down and bring you to justice.", "c": ["Jack Bauer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "It's okay, that was Shelbyville.", "c": ["Jack Bauer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 21, "et": "24 Minutes"}, {"t": "Make room for Jumbo. - What'd you say? - Nothing.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Praise the Lord. - Watch your mouth, you little smart-ass. - Yeah, Bart.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Why, you little... [Homer presumably strangles Bart as photo is taken]", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "American Applesauce Association?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "We're going to have to run. There isn't even time to stretch my quads. My quads! Every stride is a nightmare!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Dentist? You said we were going to ride dirt bikes around the cemetery.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Oh, Bart, you fall for that every six months.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Why the cemetery, I wondered, but my dreams were too strong.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Absolutely. All the time. I go to the floss store and they're like, 'Whoa, there he is again.' 'Cause I buy so much floss.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "I know, but a breeze from the window went in my mouth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "I don't even have a special tooth problem! This is just a routine checkup!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Oh, the bib is choking me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Damn, baby got bacteria.", "c": ["Rapper in dental video"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Luda-Crest.", "c": ["Rapper in dental video"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "This film is against tooth decay, but it also kind of glamorizes it.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "This is the greatest movie ever. - Dad, that's Ludicrous! - I have a right to my views. - No! I mean Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges,", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "This is the greatest movie ever. / Dad, that's Ludicrous! / I have a right to my views. / No! I mean Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges, right here in the dental plaza!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Expect a letter from Cap In The Ass Productions and its head legal counsel, Ms. Melissa Burlingame!", "c": ["Ludacris"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "So you're saying I should do your job for you, at home, for free. You wish.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Good afternoon, Principal Stinkface. - Dr. Bart.", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, I'm feeling a lot of cooties down there. We may need to replace a tooth.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "What the hell is a fundae? - It's a sundae that's fun.", "c": ["Homer", "Ice cream server"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Snickles, Gooey Bears, Charlottesville Chew, Nice 'N' Many, Kat Kit, Herschel's Smooches, Mrs. Bad Bar, and Mi Dudes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Of course that has nothing to do with the fact that this station and the ice-cream company are owned by the same corporation, but I digress.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "I've never been to war, but I imagine it feels just like your first kill.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "It won't come off. - Where's the hammer?", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "I said a word so vile it should only be uttered by Satan himself while sitting on the toilet.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Oh, God, no, I get my news from the Internet like every other normal person under 70. Farewell, dinosaur.", "c": ["Stranger"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "'booby,' 'tushie,' 'burp,' 'fanny burp,' 'water closet,' 'underpants,' 'dingle-dangle,' 'Boston marriage,' 'LBJ,' 'Titica,' 'hot dog,' or 'front lumps'!", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "You mean there are losers who spend all day watching TV looking for stuff to complain about? - Who'd be lame enough to do that?", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Smallville... super dog licks himself. That definitely goes in the naughty pile.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "60 Minutes... Morley Safer has questionable pants fold.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "The L Word... Used the 'L' word.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Imploring people I never met to pressure a government with better things to do to punish a man who meant no harm for something nobody even saw. That's what I'm doing.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Daddy, we think you need a new mommy. - First things first.", "c": ["Rod/Todd", "Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Even the map thinks you stink, Kent.", "c": ["Arnie Pye"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Looks like Newshound, the Channel Six mascot, is gonna have to go without his lazy-eye surgery. - Sorry, boy. - No, I'm over here. Over here!", "c": ["Kent", "Newshound"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Looks like Newshound, the Channel Six mascot, is gonna have to go without his lazy-eye surgery. Sorry, boy. No, I'm over here. Over here! I got a treat for you. Oh! Now he's gonna starve.", "c": ["News Anchor", "Newshound"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "I'm a cat walking down the street, swinging my arms. Look, a lady made of dynamite! Wait, I don't know that yet.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Damn that Brockman! There are only two rules in TV: don't swear, and don't whip it out. It's not rocket science.", "c": ["TV Executive"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Say, what's that powder in your coffee? Is it cocaine? - No, it's Splenda. - Spare me your slang, pusher man. You're fired!", "c": ["TV Executive", "Kent"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "That's because you're sitting on me, you lummox! - Kent Brockman!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Did you know that every day Mexican gays sneak into this country and unplug our brain-dead ladies?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Dad, you barely go to work at all. - And you're constantly flouting the law. - I'm willing to change my mind and that makes me great.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Apu sang a song. What are you gonna do?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Fox deliberately runs shows that will earn them huge fines which are then funneled through the FCC straight to the Republican party.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "they could spoon on a twin mattress and still have room for Ted Koppel.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Now, like toothless babies, they suckle on the sugary teat of misinformation and poop it into the diaper we call the 6:00 news.", "c": ["Kent"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "I could Dracula bite him.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "Every order is half this, half that, it's confusing!", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "For years now, Fox has been... programming shows that the whole family can enjoy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 18, "e": 22, "et": "You Kent Always Say What You Want"}, {"t": "I will not wait 20 years to make another movie", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Ooh, I thought that was a lemon drop.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Why do I need another penny? I have billions. Still, if I don't take it, that hoodlum over there might.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Help... me! Help... me! Help... me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.05, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "I guess this is the end. I just wish I'd spent more time at the office.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "A cookie. No, a car. No, a cookie.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "'Me'? But that's you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "What a waste of my precious, precious Saturday night.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Hey, Dad, have fun with your boyfriend.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "I have to be back at work on Monday, and my boss is a total jerk.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "A p-p-p-private jet!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "yeah, but I'm on a plane, idiot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "she'll do anything for you. Anything except sex. And I do mean anything.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "I'm aroused... and confused.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Air traffic control says we have to spend another three hours on the tarmac.", "c": ["Pilot"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Can you sing 'Say You Say Me,' but make it about beer?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Hey, you, beer me / Beer me for always / That's the way it should be", "c": ["Lionel Richie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Now make every word 'beer.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Wait, I forgot the words.", "c": ["Lionel Richie"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "If I leave the plane, I'll be just like everyone else!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Now let's enjoy the Miami of Canada-- Chicago!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Billionaire! Nice job-- where do I apply?", "c": ["Improv performer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Our coffee costs a billion dollars. This is Starbucks. In Siberia.", "c": ["Improv performer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Why are you applauding them? We wrote it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "While you were here, we felt like New York.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "It's the difference between champagne and carbonated pee.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "and all I have to remember it by is that my ears haven't popped.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Well, I'll make sure that I never yawn again.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "I don't need any shrink, therapist, counselor, motivation all speaker or 'guru.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "If you're gonna film me, I insist on a body double. Is Uncle Fester still alive?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "I forget what I do.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "I'd like you to film it for insurance purposes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Oh, what's the point of putting my socks on? I just have to take them off again a week later.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "before you even head out the door in the morning, you're already a loser.", "c": ["Colby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Never Don't Concentrate.", "c": ["Colby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "I can't hear the song in my head!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Do you want to get a reaction shot of his butt?", "c": ["Colby"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Here's an important tip: Stop doing that.", "c": ["Colby"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Behold my 217 average and weep.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "I have an aunt who became an uncle. Is it like that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Dr. Fredrick J. Waxman, you're a genius!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Homer, your shoe attitude is bowling people over.", "c": ["Colby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 4.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Bart, I'll need some clean urine. Stat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Well, I can see the position of handsomest CEO is already taken.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "If you can write your name so I can read it, you're in.", "c": ["CEO"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Find out if he has a wife! We could double date!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "One small coffee, please. And a dozen of those placemats with the maze on it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Somebody's got to do 'em.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Did my job in a way consistent with what I already told you. Because that's what you do. When you have a job.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "It's not my fault. The drinking fountain dared me to do it.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Look out! If it touches you, you die of suicide!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Well, explanation-wise, the fact is that... I lied. I didn't get the job.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "You sure know how to repeat the joke I just told ya.", "c": ["CEO"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Brands like 'Miser's Choice' and 'Day-Old Delights'?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "things rich people buy, like Campbell's Soup and Pepsodent.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "We're manufacturing a new pipe diameter, five-eighths inch.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "If I'm gonna tell that woman the truth, I'm going to do it in the one place no one can ever be sad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "If I'm gonna tell that woman the truth, I'm going to do it in the one place no one can ever be sad", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Yeah, semper fudge!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "I didn't think I'd be flying today so I was doing heroin.", "c": ["Pilot"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "I drove a car over a cliff once. How different could it be?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Duke? That's good. Not Duke. Vanderbilt? A little further south. Don't make me say it.", "c": ["Colby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "You have what made America great: no understanding of the limits of your power, and a complete lack of concern for what anyone thinks of you.", "c": ["Colby"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Because I heard some guy say you couldn't.", "c": ["Colby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "Mr. Richie, your American Music Awards are weighing us down!", "c": ["Pilot"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 1, "et": "He Loves To Fly And He Dohs"}, {"t": "This concludes our service. Go now in the peace of the Lord. So long, suckers!", "c": ["Minister"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Move it, move it, move it! Do you want to be second out of the parking lot? Do you?", "c": ["Parishioner"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Leave her! We left her last week, and she didn't make it home for dinner!", "c": ["Parishioner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "You'll never catch me, Lord!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Dad, all you circled were the 'I's and 'A's. Those are words.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Griddler on the Roof? Thank God It's Fried Eggs? Luftwaffle's? Bodacious Frittatas? Buffet the Hunger Slayer?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "I want to say one. Be my guest. Denny's.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "I just want a simple salad with pine nuts, haricots verts, seasonal heirloom tomatoes... Forget it!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Your mom is way too classy a lady to crash a private... I'm not cooking! And you can cut your own meat!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Everyone just act cool. If anyone asks, tell them we're plumbers, and then start plumbing until they go away.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Dude! You don't think, you know me, but you do!", "c": ["Unknown guest"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Mmm! Au jus! Not quite gravy, not quite blood.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't wait to taste that hot fudge, and caramel and crushed nuts all slathered over a delicious... elderly corpse?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "We crashed a funeral! Oh, my God! Quick, everyone, put on their long faces. Longer!", "c": ["Homer", "Family"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Mahogany. Great movie, great casket.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Pop-pop said that after he died, you should give me ten bucks a week. Starting now. Okay.", "c": ["Bart", "Mourner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Will the tragedies that stalk this family never cease?", "c": ["Funeral organizer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "I thought she said polar bear.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Oh, my back! It hurts, and not in a good way.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Well, you're always telling me I should eat more dirt. Not dirt. Vegetables! Which grow in what?", "c": ["Homer", "Doctor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "That doesn't sound like Homer's usual annoyed grunt. D'oh! D'oh. Fascinating.", "c": ["Doctor", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "When Homer's on his back, his stomach lodges perfectly under his diaphragm, giving him a powerful singing voice. Is that a real thing? It is!", "c": ["Doctor", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Let's see, I'll take his liver, a case of Adam's apples, that motorcycle man's moustache.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Oh, the money you've contributed to anti-helmet laws has really paid off, sir.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Well, young people are my future.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Oh, oh, I just have one question: what is this movie about?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "For the last time, it's not a movie! Excuse me, 'film.'", "c": ["Opera director", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Homer's fantastic! Yeah. But these seats are terrible.", "c": ["Marge", "Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "This makes up for me showing up drunk to the father-daughter dance. The dance isn't till next week. Sorry, Lisa. Can't change the future.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Wow, praise from Placido Domingo. Just call me P-Dingo. Eh, I'll think about it.", "c": ["Homer", "Placido Domingo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "You know, of the three tenors, you're my second favorite! No wait, I forgot about that other guy. Sorry, you're third.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "But I need my childhood friends to help me keep it real. Would you have me keep it fake?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "We'll move to another table. Yoko.", "c": ["Barney", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "To the hottest girls in the room.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "I said you look hot! Ay Chihuahua! Ay chi-what? Hua-hua!", "c": ["Homer", "Fan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.01, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "May I say I'm enjoying the calm waters of your deep, blue eyes?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "That's how guys talk.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "You've actually outgrown your cape!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "I really want to hook up with Homer. Now we both know that ain't gonna happen, but, uh, I'm right here.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "A lady motorcycle driver?! What is this, The Twilight Zone?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Switching to thermal imaging. Target acquired.", "c": ["Fan with opera glasses"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Remember the part where I forgot the words and I just sang 'Uh-oh Spaghetti-os'? I'm hoping they send me a case.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Um... everyone's wearing clothes in here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "This opera's over when the fat man sings.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Before you go, could you hire your own replacement? But make sure she's not crazy like you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Stu, stu, stu, stu-pid Flanders.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Get lost you waste of a moustache. Okily-dokily.", "c": ["Homer", "Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "It ain't candy, it's a lamb chop wrapped in foil.", "c": ["Audience member"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Luckily, the sniper bullets stopped her heart from pumping the poison through her body long enough for the chandelier to squish it all out of her.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "And I scheduled the cable guy to come on Wednesday between 10:00 and 2:00. Oh, but Wednesday's not good for me. I know, Marge. I know.", "c": ["Julia", "Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Let's go, Hagliacci, or should I say, Madame Butterface?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "What? What? I had two.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "I'm retiring from the opera. It's just too popular.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Singing opera made me good at painting. Is that a real thing? No.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 2, "et": "The Homer Of Seville"}, {"t": "Don't let the bedbugs bite! Krusty's Anti-Bedbug Spray sold separately. May contain poison.", "c": ["Krusty doll/toy"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Maggie singing 'Shout!' to stay awake instead of going to sleep", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "My, you've grown. [Homer realizes he's holding adult Marge instead of baby Maggie]", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Wha...?! Spilled milk? All over the floor.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "There's a rumor you can mix milk, Mentos and Lotto scrapings to make jetpack fuel. Does it work? Kinda.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "It's either milk or paint. It's paint. Or is it? Yeah, it's paint.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Well, then I'll have to charge you extra, depending on the color. Eggshell? No. Malabar ivory? No. Mediterranean ecru? No. Ah! Here it is...white.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "The blue ones are ads. That's the toolbar. Now you've opened Word; close it. Don't save it. Stop clicking. Don't go there! Why are you buying a freezer?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't want to bother the Internet with my problem.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Creative Responses for Infant Edu-loving! The counselors can come day and night because they have no families themselves.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "You just bought another freezer. Well, maybe I wanted another freezer!", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "At first I thought you were pointing to your crouch. You thought, huh? Yo, everybody! Get a load of 'Beautiful Mind' over here, with the thinkin'.", "c": ["Louie", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "This don't mean nothing. [Louie being affectionate with his truck]", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "I'm your boss! I'm sick of you! You're fired! No, you dumb Dominick. I'm my own boss.", "c": ["Homer", "Louie"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "She-atas, Hebrew canoes, spam cans, Swedish speedballs, and of course, stretch lame-os.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Wow, you make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it! Just like God.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Flatbed Fred got killed in that murder-murder-murder-suicide.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Man, you work as a silhouette model for one day and it haunts you for the rest of your life.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "If I catch you on my turf, I'll rip off your head, vomit down your neck, pull out your heart, show it to your head, then shove 'em both down your neck hole, to which I previously alluded.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "'...which I previously alluded...' Are there two 'L's' in 'alluded'?", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Oh hello-o! Hello! Hello, Captain Hook!", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Really? What's your handicap? Pogonophobia--fear of beards and mustaches.", "c": ["Homer", "Disabled Parker"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Stay back! All of ya! [Fear reaction to beards]", "c": ["Pogonophobia man"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Marge, your code pendent hyper-nurturing has infantilized your baby. You've made her queen of her 'clingdom.'", "c": ["CRIE counselor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Allow me to demonstri-care. Actualize!", "c": ["CRIE counselor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "She's not crying, She's celebrating her independence. Don't crash that party.", "c": ["CRIE counselor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "hugs are drugs, and your daughter's an addict.", "c": ["CRIE counselor"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Now her childhood can begin-ualize.", "c": ["CRIE counselor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "I've never done anything like that before. Yeah, well, I'm glad your first time was such a success.", "c": ["Marge", "CRIE counselor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "I've got tow dough I'm looking to blow, Moe.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Four 'Lobster-politans' comin' up.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "That's a one-hour parking zone, and you've been here a good 81 minutes. Correction: a great 81 minutes.", "c": ["Homer", "Barney"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Huh, good joke, Homer. You can unhook my car now. Uh, looks like he's driving away with it.", "c": ["Barney", "Carl"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Marge, when you're married to a midnight towboy, you might not see him for days on end.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Marge, when you're married to a midnight towboy, you might not see him for days on end.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Hey, when you married a man who would, years later, without warning, become a tow truck driver, you knew what the deal would eventually be.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "You can't impound my spirit.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Top of the mornin', Tow-mer. It's Homer, idiot. So it is.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "I guess I'm more powerful than God now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "You know what they say: 'With great power comes great responsibility.' Who said that?! I'll kill them with my power.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "You know what they say: 'With great power comes great responsibility.' Who said that?! I'll kill them with my power.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Take that, you tow-talitarian. Doesn't that joke make light of totalitarians? Stalin put my grandmother in a forced labor camp for 20 years.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Others"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Take that, you tow-talitarian. Doesn't that joke make light of totalitarians? Stalin put my grandmother in a forced labor camp for 20 years.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Look, I was insensitive, and I'm sorry. But what this is really about is a bully with a winch.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "If I'd wanted the laws of this town enforced to the letter, I wouldn't have hired fatty here as police chief.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Hear that, Ralphie? The mayor knows daddy.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Theater tickets, huh? Now ya got nothin'.", "c": ["Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "At least you need me, sack of potatoes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "multiple tickets, handicapped spot, parked by a hydrant, incomprehensible vanity plate. If my life as a tow truck driver were a teleplay, this would be the end of act two.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Okay, I made a mistake. Why don't you give me two demerit points in a point system we work out right now?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Oh, a trap door. What's down there? Your Meatball collection?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "We're just like you. Tow truck drivers who got greedy. Actually, we're an a cappella group and we're gonna sing 'Under the BoardWalk.' The truth is, we're just waiting for each others' hair to grow so we can braid it.", "c": ["Imprisoned tow drivers"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "It sure is great not having Homer around to tell us where we can or can't park. Yeah, without the crushing rule of law, society will do a better job of regulating itself.", "c": ["Carl", "Lenny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "[Visual chaos of cars colliding and parking disasters]", "c": ["Multiple drivers"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Ask no questions. And do not call the police, or I will kill me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Avast, ye sky whale!", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Once upon a time, there was a hilarious ogre named Shrek Three. He lived in medieval times, but sometimes he'd say things from today times...", "c": ["Imprisoned tow driver"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "We can say these swears any time we want because they're in the Bible! I don't think 'Leviticus' is a swear. Shut the hell up, you damn ass whore.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "We can say these swears any time we want because they're in the Bible! I don't think 'Leviticus' is a swear. Shut the hell up, you damn ass whore.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Well, I know he seems to get dumber every year, but lately he's plateaued.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "And if elected president of our small community, I will determine once and for all how far we can go without being gay.", "c": ["Imprisoned tow driver"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "And to pay you back, I'm returning your nose. Here's your nose. Daddy's putting back your nose. That's your--Oh, wait. That's Lisa's nose.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "Are you sure? Hugs are dr... [Marge cuts off CRIE counselor mid-sentence to hug Maggie]", "c": ["CRIE counselor", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 3, "et": "Midnight Towboy"}, {"t": "I am not an Fdic-insured bank.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Think. Think. / I'm not thinking. You think. / You have to think, it's your job!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "To be fair, the millennium just started, so it's not that big a deal.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "What?! Name 12.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Lisa, if you like, I'm certified to conduct a mock father daughter conversation.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "American sober or Irish sober? / Point zero eight sober. / Point one five. / Point zero nine. / Point one zero with a stomach full of bread. My final offer. / Deal.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Ooh, an awesome accident. Easy, easy... I'll just take three seconds to gawk. Aw, everyone's okay.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "'Make way for Superman,' said Superman as he punched everyone at the Coffee Bean. Chapter Two...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "I did both your grandmas. / Shut up!", "c": ["Unnamed characters"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Darn these long bank lines. Although it does give me a moment with my thoughts. Ooh... Darn these long bank lines.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Where's Dr. Kevorkian when you need him? / Well, if I know doctors, he's probably golfing.", "c": ["Homer", "Old man"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Uh, not a separate robbery we're together. / You mean like a couple? / No! / Yes! / Oh, great. We're being robbed by Johnny and Clyde!", "c": ["Bank robbers", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "We're being robbed by Johnny and Clyde!", "c": ["Bank customer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "We didn't plan for this, man. We didn't plan for this. / Ol' Gil's here for his first day as security guard. Oh, boy...", "c": ["Bank robber", "Gil"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Come on, Chief, you know this. / Oh, a shooty-stealy.", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Homer. / I'm a hostage in a bank robbery. / What?! / Oh, my God, my sweet Margie! Okay, listen very carefully. Don't do anything they say, remain panicky, and above all, try to be a hero.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "If I don't make it, feel free to remarry from anyone on the list in the bulletin board in the closet. Lindsey Naegle, Booberella, Blythe Danner. Also, feed cat", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "I was voted America's least funny clown. Worse than Scuzzo, Scummo, Oopsie, Carlos Mencia, Stinko, Blumpy. Even worse Sergeant Serious! How could I do worse than him?! I stole all his jokes!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Maybe you should take over, cause I got no stake in this. This isn't even my bank. I'm over at First Federal.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Finally, the help we need a DVD of The Negotiator.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Which chapter should we skip to? 'Meet Danny Ron', 'Trouble Brewing,' 'Off the Case', 'My Baby's in There,' 'Enter Niebaum,' 'Take the Shot,' 'Sabian's Choice,' 'Check and Mate,' 'Friends At Last,' 'Closing Credits'?", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "I shouldn't die. I just came here to check the date!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Hey, if I can say yes to Chinese toys that kill kids, you can say yes to him.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "You said you visited him every night. / Moe the tavern, not Moe the person.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Moe was in the hospital for three weeks, and I didn't visit him once. / You said you visited him every night. / Moe the tavern, not Moe the person.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.18, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Ooh! Shlomo's Judaica is having a blowout on dreidels.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "I'm so nervous it feels like I keistered a bunch of butterflies.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "My real mother abandoned me in an amusement park. All I have left is a caricature from that day.", "c": ["Dwight"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Listen carefully. Someone's been editing my biography on Wikipedia. I want you to kill him. / No problem, sweetie. I'll dump his body in the same lake as your lousy lawyer. / Then when you get out, we can have a picnic there! / Aw, that's so sweet.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Wife"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "I want you to kill him. / No problem, sweetie. I'll dump his body in the same lake as your lousy lawyer. Then when you get out, we can have a picnic there!", "c": ["Unknown prisoners"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "I really shouldn't show up without an apple pie for Dwight. In fact, I really shouldn't show up without an apple pie for everyone at the prison.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Hello, this is Ted Nugent, the Motor City Madman, urging you to vote no on Proposition 87. If we outlaw crossbows in our public schools, who's gonna protect our children from charging elk?", "c": ["Ted Nugent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Hello, this is Ted Nugent, the Motor City Madman, urging you to vote no on Proposition 87. If we outlaw crossbows in our public schools, who's gonna protect our children from charging elk?", "c": ["Ted Nugent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "I ain't afraid of old sparky, the hot seat, the kilowatt couch, the death davenport, the electric lap, the crook cooker, the scorch stool!", "c": ["Johnny Stabbo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Steroids cause health problems / Sluggers make millions.", "c": ["Itchy", "Scratchy"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Who can it be knocking at my door? Make no sound Tiptoe across the floor If he hears, he'll knock all... Oh, hey, oh. Oh, wait, this ain't where I go to vote.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "They're so buggy, I can't.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "I'd like to, but then you'll leave like she did. / Can you at least put it in your jacket? / Fine, but I'm still gonna make that pointy shape.", "c": ["Dwight", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Sorry I offered your life for my safety.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "I saw it, I just didn't feel like talking to you.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Can't a man spend one minute with his stuffed monkey? / One minute? / A monkey would make a better chief. / What did you say? / I said monkey would make a better chief!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "I'll show them which monkey would make the best chief!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Instead of a carnival ride, what if he was run over by a Zamboni with a moustache? / I don't see how. / Then I got nothing.", "c": ["Krusty", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "You chat up the guard at the gate, while I knife the guard behind me. / I can't do that, Dwight. / I figured you'd say that.", "c": ["Dwight", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 4, "et": "I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin"}, {"t": "Hello. Remember Halloween? It was last week. But here at the Simpson house, we're still celebrating.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.43, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Excuse me. Now, our first gory story is... Oh, for crying out loud!", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 4.78, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "No fair. Can't anyone just watch the show they're watching?", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Mmm. Developed by.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Cr\u00e8me brul\u00e9e! Or, in English: Burnt cream!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Bart, go out to the shed and get some more butane! ...butane this.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.2, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "What's that unearthly glow? The only sensible thing to do is explore it on my own.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Is that your space name? No, you hit me in my 700 testicles.", "c": ["Bart", "Kodos"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "My friends and I came in peace to find your vulnerabilities and, um, shore them up with more peace. Yes.", "c": ["Kodos"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Is that a ray gun? No, it's a... deodorant applicator.", "c": ["Bart", "Kodos"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Smells like a summer breeze.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Jim Halterman bobblehead doll. He's a local car dealer.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "do all humans have such weak necks or just the one you call 'Jim Halterman'?", "c": ["Kodos"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I only hope those scientists leave me my mouth, so I may spread my message of peace through song. Peace... Peace, peace, peace From space.", "c": ["Kodos"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "seven billion body bags... Can I hammer that? No. Can I weld that? No! Can I tighten the... I said no!", "c": ["Kodos", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I'm helping! I'm helping!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "They were in yesterday's New York Times.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "We will cook them, we will eat them 'Cause that's the way to treat them...", "c": ["Kodos", "Other Aliens"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Now, how about the neck of my butt?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Someone's taking the highway to the danger zone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Why am I getting words in edgewise?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "It's because I'm Jewish.", "c": ["Kodos"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I got a plan to save your space doggy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm not decent. Let me throw something on.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Can I help you, gentlemen? Uh, we know it's you, Mr. Simpson.", "c": ["Homer", "Government Agent"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Ha! You missed 'em. Bart and our alien friend are hundreds of miles away by now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "More of me to love.", "c": ["Kodos"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "The South shall rise again.", "c": ["Government Agent"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 4.79, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Well done, Columbo. That's right. We watch Columbo. It's on during rain-outs of gleep-glop games.", "c": ["Kodos"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Foolish biped. It's not a phone. It's a space portal. Our shock troops will teleport in and eat everyone's heads", "c": ["Kodos"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "They're gonna let us kill one!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I guess you should judge a book by its cover. Definitely, especially if you count the inside flap as part of the cover. It usually gives you a great idea of what the book's about.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Actually, I'm still alive, so technically, it's vivisection. No one likes a know-it-all.", "c": ["Kodos", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "The problem is you don't share my interest in not being with you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Why does he always bring up my weight?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I'm going to, uh... Midnight Monkey Madness at the zoo. Well, I won't be home, either. I'm, um... flipping over wheelbarrows in case it rains.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Have fun at your crazy-sounding thing. And you have fun at your preposterous event.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Now all I have to do is think of a clever line before I pull the trigger. Oh, that's a perfect one. But I don't need to say it out loud 'cause I'm by myself.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Out of my way, mystery skank!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Marge is a professional assassin!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "You just can't get Russian gangster blood out. Must be something they eat.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "A blender cozy. How was your Midnight Monkey Madness?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I turned over so many wheelbarrows... Wait. That was your thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "It's poison! Whatever you do, don't eat it. Okay, you're already eating it, but don't finish it. Okay, you finished it, but don't ask for... Seconds, please.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Okay, you're already eating it, but don't finish it. Okay, you finished it, but don't ask for... Seconds, please.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "You moron! Just kill her! I'll kill her after dessert!", "c": ["Boss", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "How could you not tell me you were an assassin? How could you not tell me? I told you 20 times! You never listen!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Well, they're not as pretty as you, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I just get to keep whatever's in the guy's wallet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I was out getting drunk, then killing people!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "That's my favorite couch! Why do you think I'm kicking it?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Stop it! That's my favorite couch! Why do you think I'm kicking it?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Are you guys fighting over us? Whatever we did, we're sorry.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Great! Now they're going to have tummy aches tomorrow. And where will 'Super Dad' be then? At your funeral.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Oh, that was so hot! I love watching you do other guys! Mmm, I'd like to see you do a guy sometime.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I would have taken a bribe. Oh, that was so hot! I love watching you do other guys!", "c": ["Police Officer", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "killing people together has really spiced things up in the bedroom.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Think of me on Pizza Fridays.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I got your candy right here.", "c": ["Agnes Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "'Trick or Treat' isn't just some phrase you chant mindlessly like The Lord's Prayer. It's an oral contract!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Can't talk. Lighting poo.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "! taem ttub-gip ekilsllems daeh ruoY", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I've got something that will scare the H-E-double sippy straws out of them.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I fed your fish. You overfed them! You're the worst one of all!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Sin gets us something? Awesome! I was just in it for the sin.", "c": ["Bart", "Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Welcome to Heck House! You're about to discover what a life of sin will get you! Sin gets us something? Awesome! I was just in it for the sin.", "c": ["Ned Flanders", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "He died as he lived--like a dork.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "May I have a clean American newspaper, please, no 'Doonesbury'? Wouldn't you rather have a bikini magazine? I guess a little peek won't hurt me. No! He died as he lived--like a dork.", "c": ["Ned", "Devil", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Please, Lord, grant me the power to psychologically torture them into loving you.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Oh, why did I take pride in my child's accomplishments?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I thought I was killed by that magic spaghetti!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Oh, how I envy the crotchless.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "Oh, how I envy the crotchless.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I keep telling you: I'm Hindu! I regret... nothing.", "c": ["Apu", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "I just want to say that for watching this network, you're all going to hell! And that includes FX, Fox Sports, and our newest Devil's portal, The Wall Street Journal.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 5, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xviii"}, {"t": "There is no such thing as an iPoddy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 4.47, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Modern couch gag 10 couch gags to spice up your marriage", "c": ["Visual"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "There's a bee on Maggie. Okay, Maggie, just calmly and carefully back away.", "c": ["Marge", "Maggie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Beehive! Blueberries!", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "I told you not to mock me at picnics.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Is it that you're brother and sister? Because you really look a lot alike.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Half-brother and half-sister? ... Siamese twins who've been surgically separated?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Finally you guys will stop using me as a pawn in your fights. ... I made it up. Like kids do.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "There are so many choices. Bolo? Clip-on? Piano keys? Ten Commandments of Beer?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "The cornerstones of the Brewish faith.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "You don't know what color my eyes are?! ... Is 'beautiful' a color? No.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "I don't notice the color of people's eyes. I just judge them on the color of their skin.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Please do not kick sea turtles", "c": ["Visual sign"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "She's wearing white? She must have rolled the odometer back to zero.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "So you're good at noticing dress colors, but not the eyes that make your dinner.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "We are gathered here in the sight of God and this unsafe-for-swimming beach", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "to celebrate the holy un-divorcing of Kirk and Luann.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Spaz.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.33, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "And do you, Luann, take Kirk-- despite the fact that he is fundamentally the same man that you said in court was unfit to load your dishwasher? Whose very touch repulsed you?", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Uh, you're reading an early draft of our vows. Just say 'I do.'", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "You may now kiss the bride. But make it quick. The seagulls have gotten into the hors d'oeuvres.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "My friends, do not eat. Is made with seagull meat.", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "If you don't like Mrs. Simpsons' cooking, you have your 'mommy meals.'", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Why does every kid who stays with us bring 'mommy meals'? So I put pineapple in my potato salad. Live a little, huh?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "That's why, to this day, you never see a shark with monkey arms.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Great story, Mr. Simpson. But why do all your bedroom stories have commercials in them for The Container Store?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Because if I do it enough, maybe they'll start to pay me. Sleep tight. The Container Store, no wait five convenient locations.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Ah... now that my mom and dad are back together, I'm happy every day. I can't wait to wake up so tomorrow can start.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Countdown to wake-up time", "c": ["Visual"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "We're gonna start this marriage off right. This time, I'm gonna carry you over the threshold.", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Dear God! I need more nickels!", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Luann, is that you nibbling on my knee?", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Check it out, an animal hole. Where does it go? Only one way to find out.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Ah...! Tarantulas! I'll save you, Baby Burps-A-Lot.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Ah...! Spider burps!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "This week is the best. I don't care if my parent sever come back.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Milhouse Van Houten? Yes? Son, your parents have been lost at sea.", "c": ["Coast Guard", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Oh my God! I said I didn't care if they ever came back! This is my fault!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Drown, monster, drown!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Hey, who died? My parents, probably. So you guys aren't ice cream men?", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "We'll try, but have you ever been to the sea? It's huge. And we have to search all of them-- 'cause they all, you know, connect.", "c": ["Coast Guard"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "And we'll move your bedtime to an hour later, so you'll have more time to be alone with your thoughts.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, come on. Why don't you cheer up with a glass of Ocean Spray?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Cap'n Crunch ... Seven Seas Italian dressing ... Chicken of the Sea tuna? Billy Ocean CD? The History of Atlantic Records?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Stop naming things! I want to, but I can't!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Then go to Moe's! Good idea. I'll drown my sorrows in Anchor Steam Beer. Oh! I'm sorry...", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Like I'm going to a funeral? No! Don't talk like that! There's always hope.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "We just wanted to let you know, we've stopped searching.", "c": ["Coast Guard"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Just push A, B, up, up, left trigger, right trigger, and both triggers at once.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Isn't there already enough pain in this world?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Oh, my God. I've become the world's oldest baby. Men don't get their moo-moo from a ba-ba.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "They get their moo-moo from a big-boy cup!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "I can't be a baby anymore. I'm alone now. I have to be a man!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge, darling, what's the combination to our wedding album? Our anniversary!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "It's Milhouse! That's not the Milhouse I know.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Hey, loser, your mom called.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "One day, you'll be more haunted by those words than I am.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.42, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Why aren't you crying? I wish I could cry. Tears would cleanse my soul.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Go ahead, beat me up. Maybe then I'll feel something.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Eh, what's the point?", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "I always wanted you to hold my hand, Lisa. And now that you are, I'm too numb to feel anything.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "It's like you're wearing oven mitts and I'm in my winter parka.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "That's so poetic.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm happy to see Milhouse get some hand-on-hand action. But no one is cooler than Bartholomew J. Simpson.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Anyone want to sit over here? You can have my pizza crust.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Please, Bart, you're embarrassing yourself.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Come on! Look at me, I'm cool. I've got my backpack on frontwards, and I'm krumping!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Check it out! This image has not been speed up.", "c": ["Visual text"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "There's a time for krumping, and this isn't it.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "I'll krump with you, sweetie pie.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Milhouse has gone from being a comic figure to a tragic one. If he could go back to being happy, I could go back to being cool.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Boy, stop talking to yourself. Your thoughts should stay in your head.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Every Christmas... Milhouse gets Danish butter cookies from... Solvang, California... where he has a beloved un... cle!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Butter cookie 8-2147, Hans Christian Anderson 5-5166, and Aquavit 3-2599.", "c": ["Operator"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Okay, so which one of these losers is Milhouse's Uncle Norbert? Norbert? Norbert? Oh, this guy's a total Norbert.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Norbert? I wish. My name is Gaylord Q. Tinkledink.", "c": ["Character"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Well, I'm one of the Danish Van Houtens, not the Dutch Van Houtens.", "c": ["Zack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "And I'm here to find my nephew Nerdletaub Z. Pantybottom.", "c": ["Gaylord"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Let us join forces. Would you be my uncle? No, but have a butter cookie.", "c": ["Gaylord", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Well, I don't need you. I've learned to take care of myself.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "You've become quite a young man-- self-reliant, mature. You've shed your Dutch ways and become a true Dane.", "c": ["Uncle Zack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "You've shed your Dutch ways and become a true Dane.", "c": ["Zack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Oh, man, now he's even more popular. He's troubled, but I can save him.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Uh... brown? No. Orange? No. Elm? Rake? Guessing?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Well, well, look who's strolling down Alzheimer Avenue.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "A blue bouffant / From here to there / Snow white teeth and lips so red / She's the Wilma to my Fred", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Let's see, what rhymes with appraisal? Basil, nasal. None of these are colors.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Hazel! Your eyes are hazel.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Hazel like the pussy willows by the pond where we first kissed, like the almond paste in the bear claw I ate after we first made love.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Oh, did you remember to cut off the gas flow? The what?", "c": ["Zack", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "You're worried you're losing Milhouse, and love is a selfish thing.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah? Well, when you're mean, I'm a trampoline, so everything you said goes back and hits your ugly head.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Oh, I love him so much!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Hey, in the real world, rope-climbing skills are vital.", "c": ["Mr. Johnson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Well, what do you think of Mr. Johnson's rope-climbing class now? Still sucks!", "c": ["Mr. Johnson", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Milhouse! Mom and Dad! Mr. and Mrs. Van Houten! Damned Dutchmen!", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart", "Zack"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "Not so fast, son. We are trapped on this island. No worries. I've already radioed for a rescue boat sailed by brave Danish sailors. More like swishy Danish sailors.", "c": ["Kirk", "Zack", "Luann"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "You're going down, Dutchman. You grapple like a girl!", "c": ["Zack"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 6, "et": "Little Orphan Millie"}, {"t": "The pilgrims were not illegal aliens", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Lame, lame, lame, lame, have it, lame, Superman Dies, Aquaman Dies, Casper Dies, Caveman Robin, Black Robin, Born-Again Robin", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Nice work, Doctor Boo-Who. Your tears have smudged Wolverine's iconic sideburns. Hence, you must buy this comic. And the cost of your innocent accident is.... $25, please.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "But that's the money Yaya Sofia gave me for Greek Orthodox Easter. I hate when they tell me things about themselves.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Maybe they sell comics at the dry cleaners. No? Perhaps they sell comics at the mattress store No! Perhaps you could buy your comics at that new comic bookstore across the street?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Philip K. Dick. It can't be. It's as if Superman moved to Gotham City. Which he did, in World's Finest Comics n\u00b024.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "That was an imaginary story dreamt by Jimmy Olsen after he was kicked in the head by Supergirl's horse, Comet. It never really happened. None of these things ever really happened. Get out of my store.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Hey what up, you guys? How g-g-g-goes it? My name's Milo, and this is Coolsville.", "c": ["Milo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Down low. Go long. I got prawn. Mmm. I got miso. Mmm. I got dolphin.", "c": ["Milo", "kids"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Asterix! Tintin! I heard these only existed in high school French classes.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Come on, Snowy, we must save the Belgian ambassador from the Black Orchid Gang. What's that? A sound of ignition? Zut, alors! This castle is actually a four-stage rocket and it's headed straight for the Pompidou Center.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Hey, no worries, little lady. These books are meant to be read and enjoyed, not hoarded and then sold when you get divorced.", "c": ["Milo", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "All right, I get it. You're cool, you're not 'mainstream,' You wear a porkpie hat. Mmm... porkpie.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Who's stronger? The Thung or The Mulk? And show your work.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Well, the Mulk kicked a tidal wave into the sun, whereas... The Thung gave a piggyback ride to the 1985 Chicago Bears.", "c": ["Milo"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "I was in such a bad relationship with my ex-Comic Book Guy, I'd forgotten how good it could be.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Look, Maggie, I'm Wonder Woman. Oh. I've lost my perfect 26-26-26 figure. Never compare yourself to a standee.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Hey, you're way skinnier than a lot of superheroes. Girthquake, Flaberella. Kearney's Mom.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Shut up! Her depression medication makes her bloated. She's depressed 'cause you're so lame. Shut up!", "c": ["Kearney", "Dolph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Ooh, I'd better join a gym before I go from hippy to hippo. I wish my Mom said cute things like that. She can't 'cause she's depressed. Shut up.", "c": ["Marge", "Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Alan Moore, Art Spiegelman. Oh, Dan Clowes. I really identified with the girls in Ghost World. They made me feel like I wasn't so alone.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Do you know anyone who works at Batman? 'Cause I really want to draw Batman. I'm awesome at utility belts. Check these out. This is where the Batman keeps his money in case he has to take the bus.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Alan Moore, you wrote my favorite issues of Radioactive Man. Oh, really. So you'd like that I made your favorite superhero a heroin-addicted jazz critic who's not radioactive? I don't read the words. I just like when he punches people.", "c": ["Bart", "Alan Moore"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Mr. Moore, will you sign my DVD of Watchmen Babies? Which of the babies is your favorite?", "c": ["Ralph", "Alan Moore"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "You see what those bloody corporations do? They take your ideas and they suck them! Suck them like leeches until they've gotten every last drop of the marrow from your bones!", "c": ["Alan Moore"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Hey, Teacup, why don't you chill out? Very well. Oh, little Lulu, I love you-lu, just the same.", "c": ["Milo", "Alan Moore"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Attention, comic book aficionados! This man is not one of us! He has a girlfriend! My name's Strawberry. My purse is a lunchbox.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Strawberry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "You would sell weapons of the Orient to children? That is weak.", "c": ["Alan Moore"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Oh, no! The store's in trouble! League of Extraordinary Freelancers, activate! Maus is in the house!", "c": ["Alan Moore", "Art Spiegelman"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "How do ya like this punch line?", "c": ["Dan Clowes"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "We've got Tummy Tone with Sasha, Power Bounce with Zach D., Zen Abs with Zach G., and you've just gotta try Mommy and Me kickboxing!", "c": ["Gym employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Who thought walking could be so difficult? Well, I'm sure everyone else is having trouble, too.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Marge, you missed a spot.", "c": ["Other gym member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Rules: no men, no cell phones, no mirrors, no shame. Marge, I wish you well, but why would women want to go to a gym if there were no men there watching them and judging them?", "c": ["Marge", "Patty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "why would women want to go to a gym if there were no men there watching them and judging them?", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "We're gonna be rich! We can finally start a family! We have a family. A better one!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Finally, an exercise bike for women of a certain age Jurassic!", "c": ["Elderly woman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "I can't believe the labor board is shutting me down! You lock your workers in at night. It's so they can't tell their stories!", "c": ["Sweatshop owner", "Official"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Mr. Krusty came to my village. He said he would marry me. No ring! Just fill apple pies all day!", "c": ["Female worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "When is Straightman gonna pop the question?", "c": ["Talk show host"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "You're all getting German cuckoo clocks! And you're getting a cuckoo clock!", "c": ["Talk show host"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "The TV remote isn't nailed on! My whole life, I've never been in a hotel that trusted me.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Hors d'oeuvres, big fancy desserts... and my wife is paying for everything. Now I know why pimps are so happy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Yep, nothing beats living on 'wife-support.'", "c": ["Other husband"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "My wife invented 'Skipills', she mixed vitamins with Alka-Seltzer and pretended it was medicine. I pay ten dollars a tube for those! That's why I drive a Bentley.", "c": ["Rich husband"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Well, you'd better decide soon. 'Cause I have a feeling your wife will also be getting a 'new model.' Yeah, she'll be 'trading up.' And they're not talking about cars. Are you sure they're not talking about cars? Because those are car words.", "c": ["Rich husbands", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Marge won't dump me. I'm the anchor that keeps her weighed down.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Here's how you know she's really about to go: your wife seems happy and full of life. That will never happen!", "c": ["Rich husband", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "A makeover! Oh, my God! The prophecy is being fulfilled.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Well, the first inspirational speech of the day was by the woman who climbed Mount Everest and got everyone else killed. Hey, the networks have different channels in this city. That's okay. I don't care that you don't care.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Are you happy and full of life? I sure am!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Really? But I'm so used to my old one. Old one? They're convincing Marge to dump me! Oh, it's easy. I get a new one every two years. From Italy! You would love a big black one.", "c": ["Marge", "Rich wives", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "If Marge leaves, I'll have nothing except my many friends and half the fortune she is now making and will continue to make.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "I used to look like this. What's your secret? Oh, there's no secret. Just hard work.... exercise two hours a day... keep up with the latest fashions... and of course, cut out all the fatty foods and alcohol. Got it.", "c": ["Fit husband", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Please, Doc. I know I'm not the greatest-looking guy in the world, but I took care of my family, and that used to be enough. But not anymore.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "I guess, considering all the training you've received, this is quite reasonable. I've never seen anything so reasonable! It's the bargain of a lifetime! And... Dad, are you okay? I see food on your plate instead of blurring motions.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "I see food on your plate instead of blurring motions.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Kids, your daddy underwent a special procedure so he can be more attractive to your mother. You had your hot dog plumped? No, I had my stomach stapled!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "You had your hot dog plumped? No, I had my stomach stapled!", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "All food tastes like barf now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Slow down, sexy beast. Why don't you take some time to savor the front? What are you hiding from me? Is it chocolate? Uh, it used to be.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "My implants feel itchy. Yes, I was out of silicone rubber. so I used rolled-up socks.", "c": ["Homer", "Dr. Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "You'd better not make me cry, 'cause I don't know where my tear ducts are anymore.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "What...? Why do I look like me again? The doctor called me about all the crazy surgeries you wanted, and I said no.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "The only person who thinks you're a monster is the one who had to give you a sponge bath.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Plastic surgery is a mistake, because it hasn't been perfected to where you look really good. When it is, everyone should get it. Amen.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Let's face it you could do better. Well, maybe I could. But every time I look at you, I see the same adorable boy I fell in love with.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "Holy heavens! Is that a meteor heading for the Earth? Maybe. But tonight there's a benefit for underpaid comic book artists of the forties and fifties. To the cash bar!", "c": ["Alan Moore"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 7, "et": "Husbands And Knives"}, {"t": "I ain't tippin' some jerk two bucks to tie a TV to my car. Mama Moe didn't raise no fools.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Well, I guess I can just keep watching DVDs by following family vans around.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Big Bird in China? Won't Grover get lonely? Oh, no, wait. He's hangin' out with Derek Jeter.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Now ignore all the fancy shmancy things thingamajigs, boy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Care to make love, sir?", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "That'll be 50 cents, or free with the purchase of a $200 TiVO plus a two-year contract. Sold!", "c": ["Homer", "Store Employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Come on, Lisa! The TV's been off for five whole minutes!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "I spit on your corpse, advertisers supporting television.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "TiVo, you've got a season pass to my heart.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "My boyfriend Straightman just proposed...that we go on separate vacations again this year!", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "I saved Lost, watched all Rome in a day, and got Two and a half men in two and a half minutes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Then I ran out of space and had to choose between Sophie's Choice and Schindler's list. Why is everything Hollywood make so excellent?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Keith Olbermann?! That's right, content burglar Marge Simpson.", "c": ["Keith Olbermann", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "You've been watching TV shows, but skipping the commercials that pay for them. That makes you...the worst person in the world!", "c": ["Keith Olbermann"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "My cousin Marine saw you flying in business class! I was upgraded against my will!", "c": ["Marge", "Keith Olbermann"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "It takes a team of 20 people to keep me that way, without ad money, I'd look like a swamp monster from a child's nightmare!", "c": ["Keith Olbermann"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "And under here, I look even worse. Then it gets better, then even worse!", "c": ["Keith Olbermann"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "That's why this is the only mop endorsed by me, former NFL draft pick, Ryan Leaf.", "c": ["Ryan Leaf"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Their commercial featured a talking frog. So tell those idiots in the State Capital to let Union Carbide do their thing.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Paid for by Cartoon Frogs For Wetlands Destruction.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think about gettin' on a bus and never comin' back.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Good luck with my finicky appetite. We've got ribs. Sold!", "c": ["Lisa", "Commercial"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "More ribs for me! More ribs for me! More ribs for me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "And 'Wes Doobner's World Famous Family Style Rib Huts' is actually an anagram! Welcome to Sideshow Bob's World Famous Family Style Return!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "I'd like to know if Wes Doobner is aware of what you're doing in his restaurant. I'm Wes Doobner.", "c": ["Homer", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "You never ask what we've been up to. We went to the strawberry patch and I picked the most strawberries!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Just call me...Slideshow Bob!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Nobody do it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "I snuck into America amidst a bunch of undocumented Canadian comedy writers for The Jimmy Kimmel Show, whatever that is.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Which one? 'The Hills Have Eyes Three: The Hills Still Have Eyes'.", "c": ["Homer", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Actually, you made one. What Shakespeare really said was, 'Twere well it were done quickly.'", "c": ["Lisa", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Come on, Wikipedia, load, you unwieldy behemoth.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "It's 'hoist with his own petard.' Oh, get a life.", "c": ["Lisa", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Young? I'm the oldest kid in my class! By like two years.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Did they name the Toyota Cressida after the play, or the play after the car? Play first, then car. I just lost a thousand dollars.", "c": ["Judge", "Dame Judith"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "He ordered prank pizzas to 888 Poopy Pants Lane! Poopy Pants Lane ends in the 700 block!", "c": ["Crowd Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "He cheats at Uno!", "c": ["Crowd Member"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Nitroglycerin! Everybody panic! Yoink! Foiled again, freak!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob", "Crowd", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Ew, gross--I'm touching a dead guy!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "America has a tradition of turning outlaws into legends after their deaths: Billy the Kid, Bonnie and Clyde, Jesus Christ.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "A veritable who's who ha-ha.", "c": ["News Anchor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Bart stole your nitroglycerin And then your heart infarcked", "c": ["Funeral Singer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Like when you fell and split your pants And we saw your 'Frank and Beans.'", "c": ["Funeral Singer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "There's the kid who killed my best friend! Buy my DVD.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, between you and me, I still can't stand him.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Church jerks... church jerks... Anus, anus... anus, anus, anus...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "That summer when he wanted to tour the castles of Italy, I wanted to tour the castles of France. So we went to Spain, a compromise that satisfied no one.", "c": ["Cecil"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "That's stupid. You talk like youre smart, but you're stupid.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Ball one, ball two, strike one...", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Feet... killing?! We've got to save Bart!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "I came here to tell you I never meant for you to die. I just wanted you to go to jail and get beat up a lot.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Then let's give the people what they want!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Cool, I found a trapdoor that leads to an underground city. Here I go!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Cool, I found a trapdoor that leads to an underground city. Here I go!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Yes, and Hamlet is all about Laertes. Would you please stop comparing me to Laertes!", "c": ["Cecil", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Yes, and Hamlet is all about Laertes. Would you please stop comparing me to Laertes! If the doublet fits...", "c": ["Cecil", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Zeus' pimples! Hot! Hot! Hot!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "I grew suspicious when I saw the casket had extra room built-in for your feet. Why would your family pay all that extra money of a dead man? Damn these glorious gunboats!", "c": ["Lisa", "Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "You stink like my butt!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "You stink like my butt! Take him away! Oh, why must I feed him straight lines?!", "c": ["Bart", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Oh, why must I feed him straight lines?!", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "Slash! Hack! Die!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "The joke's not funny and the bid's not sufficient.", "c": ["Prison Inmate"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 8, "et": "Funeral For A Fiend"}, {"t": "The capital of montana is not \"hannah\"", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Nobody steals Willie's breakfast!", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "I must've really tied one on last night.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 4.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "No more drinking.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "6:00 A.M. Still early enough to sneak into bed and pretend I actually got home at 3:00 A.M.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Or yourselves?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "they must all be taking a family bath. Without me!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Show me on MapQuest. Fine. Google Maps.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Look, if this is about me eating your heart pills, they shouldn't have made them in Good 'N' Plenty colors.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "A 'Forget-Me-Shot?' Never heard of it. Yeah, that means it worked.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.07, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "You start with a splash of Jagermeister... then add sloe gin... Triple-Sec... Quadruple-Sec...", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "You stir it with a home pregnancy test till it turns positive...", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Jeez, I don't look like that.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "I was trying to do a Don Rickles about Arabs, but it turned into a Mel Gibson about Mexicans.", "c": ["Unknown patron"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Huh? What the hell am I doing here? I gotta get back to the Latin Grammys.", "c": ["Unknown patron"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "There he is! Get him! Kill him! Hot-sauce his eyes!", "c": ["Angry crowd"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Everything's fine cupcakes and sprinkles.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "All right, door! You're coming downtown!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.52, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Not that I am authorized to release that information... Flanders! Fine, it was Flanders.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Now, since you know everything, who was Jack the Ripper? The queen's private surgeon!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "I heard a hubbub, Bub.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "I can't say for sure, but as a Christian, I assume the worst.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "If only these walls could talk. People would pay to come see my amazing talking walls, and I could use that money to...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "You know, doing this is just confirming a stereotype for you Mexicans. I am from Costa Rica! And I should care because?", "c": ["Unknown worker", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "You'll eat our cookies, but you won't look at us!", "c": ["Glee club member"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "That's like asking your horse to do your taxes, which I did back in 1998.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Punch that orderly who takes sips out of my juice. No, wait. That's the guy that saved my life.", "c": ["Grandpa Simpson"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "How about The Deja View-Master? Remembrance of things fast? The Remembererer?", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Ah, my first Christmas. Such great Chinese food.", "c": ["Elderly patient"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "To me, 'nerd' stands for Not Even Remotely Dorky, so thank you.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Ah, it's got that new bubble smell.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Now remember-steer into the sculptures.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "on top of my TV Guide?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Someone like Bart, only smart. Lisa!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "You're getting this memory mixed up with a commercial you saw. With new Synergy Wireless, night time minutes start at 6:30...", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "You're superior to me in every way! Well, let's see how you do against 20-year-old Homer.", "c": ["Homer", "10-year-old Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Dad, you just destroyed your first kiss. Who was it with? Uh... Apu.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "We're not really your kids. We're just representations of them that you created in your mind.", "c": ["Memory Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Hello. I'd like to order a pizza. 35 minutes?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Oh, can that tuna! We can get your brain to work the same way you always get the TV to work --by hitting it.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "We can get your brain to work the same way you always get the TV to work --by hitting it.", "c": ["Memory doctor"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "I'm just giving it to your wife. She is gonna be sore tomorrow.", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Well, if you can't stand the neural activity, stay out of the neural activator!", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Hey, aren't trolls supposed to be under the bridge? Ha, ha, good-bye.", "c": ["Troll 1", "Troll 2"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "We were planning a surprise party for you. A surprise party?! This magic marker's running out of ink.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "This is gonna be the greatest party ever! Oh, yeah! It's like Christmas in December.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "I must be the first gullible husband to overhear snippets of surprise party planning and think it was my wife having an affair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Blue pants make you look fat. I've never learned your kids' names. Your yard is unkempt. It is obvious you're bald. Your thighs make noise. I find your small hands attractive. I've spit in every drink I ever served you.", "c": ["Various characters"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "No doubt I'll misconstrue that as him placing a cuckold's horns upon my brow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "Because you never feed him, walk him or let him out to pee.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "To a man I'm happy to call my best friend, Homer Simpsno! Simpson! Dyslexia, Duffman's secret shame.", "c": ["Duffman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 9, "et": "Eternal Moonshine Of The Simpson Mind"}, {"t": "- Oh! - Oh! Oh!", "c": ["Unknown workers"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 3.98, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Listen carefully. I have taken your wife hostage. If you don't have a wife, I have kidnapped your brother. Nod if you understand. Now back away from Burns and I will let your dog live.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Now stop and dance like a happy prospector. Happier. Happier!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Homer, we want to get him away from Burns. Oh, right. Just leave. But kick like a Rockette.", "c": ["Homer", "Unknown coworker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "We're free! Empty apartment here I come! Set the table, Marge. I can already taste those deep-fried pork chops.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "When you ask me that it's never good.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Bart says that we got a call from NASA, and your gravity is pulling satellites out of their orbits.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Marge, that was a joke. But it comes from a true place.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "I think I'll miss you most of all, Captain Corn Dog Schnitzel Palace.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Can't let Marge see this.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "A drive-up trash can. This must be how the rich toss out their gold.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Hmm, 'Dispose of properly.' Aw, this book is too hard.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "There, there, Cheesy McMayor. No one likes weepy meat.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "I don't want to live in a future where food is brought by 'waiters'... where the chairs aren't attached to the tables... and where I can't ditch my kids in a pit of dirty balls.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "But won't that just shift the burden to your children? No, you idiot. We just pay for it with another bond issue. Let her figure out someone to dump it on.", "c": ["Unknown citizen", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, they're going to be cheesed.", "c": ["Unknown official"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Providing cheap liquor to Massachusetts teens for 200 years.", "c": ["Unknown narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "this race is as wide open as a hobo's mouth at a pie-flinging contest.", "c": ["Dan Rather"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Well, Mr. Rather, the way I see it, as my father always said, 'The way I look at it...'", "c": ["New Hampshire resident"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Grandma was slow, but she was old. You have no excuse. Into the truck!", "c": ["Dan Rather"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Which Springfield? The one the Simpsons live in.", "c": ["News crew members"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Nice knitting on these masks, Martha. Now that you've said my name I have to kill him.", "c": ["Bank robbers Martha and partner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "our humble city is overrun with candidates, newshounds, spin doctors, hacks, flacks, Russerts, Blitzers and even the occasional voter.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Yeah, I like girls, fruit loop.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "I'm a registered... something.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "That's what you said about yellow fever, and that was no fun.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "I feel like a pundit in a think tank! Think tank, eh? Hmm. Now let's consider World Bank lending policy towards Micronesia.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "What? I'm not allowed to get one right?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Sure thing, mouse pad. Ten bucks.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Do I need to say my name? People know me, right? Know it's just cable, but... You know what? I'm not gonna worry about it. I gonna just... Great. Now I'm worried.", "c": ["Jon Stewart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Haven't seen you since you bailed on that benefit. Yeah, well, I really didn't believe in the cause. Well, Krusty's Kids sure missed ya. Yeah, they're great. A little clingy...", "c": ["Jon Stewart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Are you writing this down? Nah, this is somethin' else.", "c": ["Jon Stewart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Rush Limbaugh's sweatpants?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.65, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Well, I'll thank you to keep my zingers out of your mouth. I'm gonna try and remember you the way you used to be. But I've always been terrible!", "c": ["Jon Stewart", "Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Your medium is dying! Nelson! But it is! There's being right, and there's being nice.", "c": ["Nelson", "Adult"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "This punch is too sweet. your blouse makes you look fat. Opinions about the ads.", "c": ["Focus group moderator", "Participant"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Mm, my god! They're going steady!", "c": ["Focus group participant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Well, I thought every part of it was good, but overall, I hated it. I feel exactly the opposite, but the same.", "c": ["Focus group participants"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "That was the best milkshake ad I've ever seen. It makes me wanna want a milkshake!", "c": ["Focus group participant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Hence my campaign slogan, 'End quintile disparity'. Look, we all care about quintile disparity, but the Democrats can't win with another prissy brainiac.", "c": ["Democratic candidates"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "That's Whiner-girl.", "c": ["Senator Winnergill"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "You're never gonna let that go, are you?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Family values! Vanishing middle class! Cut and run! Terrorists win! Terrorists win!", "c": ["Politicians"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "If you haven't sprung from her or aren't married to my loins, get the hell out of this house!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "You too, Fred Thompson. But I was in Die Hard. Die Hard Two!", "c": ["Homer", "Fred Thompson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "I could really go for some kind of military dictator like, uh, Juan Peron. When he disappeared ya, you stayed disappeared. Plus his wife was Madonna.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Why don't we all pick the most ridiculous candidate and write him in? You mean Dennis Kucinich? Hey! I'm right here!", "c": ["Unknown citizen", "Another citizen", "Dennis Kucinich"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "What I did made the TV thing happen.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Two days ago, this bed-wetter made a splash in the Springfield Primary.", "c": ["Nash Castor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Stranger danger!", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "I only have this much monies.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Well, um, I'd hate to be the fingernail in this Cobb salad, but we don't even know if this young man is a Democrat or Republican.", "c": ["Political pundit"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Before we invite Ralph to the prom, we should find out if he's wearing a tux or a tutu.", "c": ["Political pundit"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Ralph said he'd let me be Secretary of Indian burns. Here's my first official act: Ow!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Lisa, being president is easy. You just point the Army and shoot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Oh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out. What's next? Finding out what operas I go to?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Do you have bats in your belfry? They don't even let him use big-boy scissors!", "c": ["Republican official"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Sure he's a little green, but, uh, you know, so was George W. Bush, and look how great, uh, he-he... um...", "c": ["Republican official"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "But at least he won! The second time... assuming they don't find those ballot boxes in Ohio.", "c": ["Republican official"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "I already got my assless, sparkle tux cleaned for the inauguration.", "c": ["Democratic Party member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "With Ralph on the ticket, I don't know how we will blow it, but we will. Because that's what the Democratic Party is all about.", "c": ["Democratic Party member"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "the most charismatic child since Drew Barrymore in Firestarter. When she got mad, they got burned.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Elmo?", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Ah, Admiral Elmo Zumwalt, Richard Nixon's chief of naval operations. So Ralph's a Republican!", "c": ["Political operative"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Only one place to settle this: to the offices of the World Book Encyclopedia!", "c": ["Political operative"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "We have Alec Baldwin, they have Stephen Baldwin. They might as well not even have a Baldwin.", "c": ["Democratic operative"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "Maybe I want to use them. Use them to make this country great again. When we're mad, we'll just use our words, then the rest of the world will play nice with us. And the only boom-booms will be in our pants.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "And you can be my first ladle.", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "I want a tricycle, and a dog who won't chew my Hot Wheels, and a brighter future for America! I'm Ralph Wiggum, and I've been a good boy!", "c": ["Ralph Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 10, "et": "E Pluribus Wiggum"}, {"t": "I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can't do anything right.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Big & Tall Halloween Costume catalogue", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Like which kid's their favorite! It's Lisa.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Yeah, what happened while I was chillin' in Dad's junk?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Come on. More turbulent than now? We're in every kind of therapy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "The Iraq war was over once and for all, a struggling Matt Groening created Futurama", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I'll know who you were with in less than six hours! Unless someone picks up the phone.", "c": ["Kirk"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "With you, baby, Top Ramen tastes like Cup O' Noodles.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I want to wait until I'm married, or at least really drunk.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Sonic The hedgehog says 'Wait until marriage'.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "inoffensive urban light hip-hop smooth grooves", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I'll make rub to you / Backrub all night long!", "c": ["Homer", "Band"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I thought you were telling me you wanted to apply yourself to making a collage.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "And as I recall, I was against it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "You're dead! Die! Die! Die! Suck my beam!", "c": ["Abe", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "This counts as your break.", "c": ["Abe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "And that is why The Lord of the Rings can never be filmed.", "c": ["Professor"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Good. Now throw them all away!", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Wrong! They were all white, Protestant, property-owning males.", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Evil", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Fall semester, you just got interesting.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Even Walt Disney?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Really? I thought it was written by losers.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "If my beads are parted, come right in.", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I never heard that noise before. Are you sick?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Just shut up, monkey man, and make the gas flow.", "c": ["Gas Company Worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Could a tribe of bushmen have invented penicillin? Maybe they already have. But no one asked them.", "c": ["Professor August", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "no soup for you! Because I am 'master of my domain'. Newman.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Can't I get all Zima'd up and have my best girl put salve on my laser burns?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Are the lasers supposed to burn you? Apparently if all the kids fire at your stomach at once, it adds up.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Actually, Marge, if I may deconstruct that letter. When he writes 'I miss you,' 'I' is the subject and 'you' is the object. You are his object.", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "It's 'Juan' Miro! Stupid townie!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "If you did the former better we'd use the latter less.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages! Successfully!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Guitar Rock Utilizing Nihilist Grunge Energies. Or, as I call it: Grunge!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Kurt? Kurt? It's Marvin! Your cousin, Marvin Cobain! You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this!", "c": ["Marvin Cobain"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Hey. Will you sign my boobs? Yeah.", "c": ["Groupie", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I'll take the Enron stock; you take the Microsoft stock.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I just want a tentacle.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I don't sell booze no more. This is a cigar bar now. Fine. Cohiba me.", "c": ["Moe", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I wasn't trying to steal your watch. I-I was just comin' on to ya.", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I want your knowledge inside me.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Good Goddess! The Patriots deep in Redskin territory. This isn't entertainment; it's genocide!", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "If I were to approach you for a kiss, would you construe that as harassment or give your willing consent?", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Raisin bread with applesauce / Tony Danza, he's the boss / Brain freeze!", "c": ["Weird Al"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Everything penis-shaped is bad.", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Slavery is alive and well in Springfield.", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Oh, it's statements like that make people say women are stupid.", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Or should I say, Associate Professor Jerk!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I only got denied tenure because my department head is an idiot!", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I only got denied tenure because my department head is an idiot!", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "You're about to get your PhD... Pound Head Down.", "c": ["Professor Moose"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Mar-ge-rine!", "c": ["Homer/Sadgasm"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "This is Kurt Loder reporting from... the '90s.", "c": ["Kurt Loder"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Unfortunately, as I later learned, that wasn't heroin. It was insulin. Homer really did need those injections.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I had become diabetic from drinking too many Frappuccinos.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "At least we know there'll never be a president worse than Bill Clinton. Imagine, lying in a deposition in a civil lawsuit. That's the worst sin a president could commit. There'll never be a worse president. Never.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "At least we know there'll never be a president worse than Bill Clinton. Imagine, lying in a deposition in a civil lawsuit. That's the worst sin a president could commit. There'll never be a worse president. Never.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "I mean, unless he had been a little nicer at the beach.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Homie is where my heart is.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Townies.", "c": ["Professor August"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 11, "et": "That 90S Show"}, {"t": "Release the hounds", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "For the next two hours, we'll be kid-free. It'll be just like the time we lost them at the mall.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "That was the best Christmas ever.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Nothing gets a woman in your arms faster than scary robots and simulated privacy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "if Dad kisses Mom too much, a stork will lay an angel egg in her tummy, and the next thing you know, we find a baby brother in the cabbage patch!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Do whatever you want. I'm getting a candy apple.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "You will be charged for the extra time.", "c": ["Carnival Announcer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Brangelina?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "They were the Bonnie and Clyde of their day. Their names were Bonnie and Clyde.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "This is Texas, future home of Akeem Olajuwon!", "c": ["Bonnie/Marge"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.66, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "No one calls me 'chicken' without goading me into doing something stupid!", "c": ["Clyde/Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "You could've had anything you want for free! You're a co-owner!", "c": ["Store Owner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Oats! Texas caviar!", "c": ["Clyde/Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Well, there might be others, but I'm too lazy to figure out what they are. So violence it is!", "c": ["Clyde/Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "It's a sex thing! Say no more!", "c": ["Bank Customer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Well, deposit yourselves in a seat because you've earned my interest!", "c": ["Bank Driver"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.25, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "A nation, crippled by unemployment and bored by Seabiscuit", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Because gee, it's swell to have all that money.", "c": ["Bonnie/Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "I am recalling all our air defense forces from Pearl Harbor. Somebody please remind me to move them back.", "c": ["FDR"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "I've been played like a pair of spoons!", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Hey, keep it down, will ya? The part where all my men get killed is coming up.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Unmarried?! That's it. I'm turning them in.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Even I'm offended by this, and I'm a fat Southern sheriff.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "the battery seems to be dead. I'll get some help by hiding in that bush.", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Come on, shoot! Shoot! Oh! Not me!", "c": ["Sheriff"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Say, Officer, I like how you handle that gun. Thanks. I like the way you take a bullet.", "c": ["Bonnie/Marge", "Officer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Cool. Now we're shooting the birds that are pecking at the bodies.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "This is a story of two dogs with a love so strong, no hose could separate them.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "A mutt like you could never get a fancy dame like that. Even her fleas have more class than you.", "c": ["Fancy Dog"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Oh, no! Chompy and I have taken a cottage in West Leg. It's where all the fleas are fleeing.", "c": ["Fancy Flea"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "You know, heaven must have left its doggie door open because you are one...", "c": ["Shady/Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "I like those chicks with them head cones when they start talking, you can drop below the horizon.", "c": ["Shady/Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "You say it's goin' kinda-a rough? That is precisely what I'm saying.", "c": ["Luigi", "Shady/Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "You're pretty feisty for an upper-class bitch.", "c": ["Shady/Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Oh, I like that you use the technical term for a female dog.", "c": ["Lady/Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Why didn't I listen to Mama? 'Serve-a food to humans!'", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "And I am in heat. That's the safe time, right? Oh, the safest.", "c": ["Lady/Marge", "Shady/Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Is that a foxhunt I hear?", "c": ["Shady/Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Any minute now You'll be stuck with her brood", "c": ["Chorus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Come on, with all this high-class tail around?", "c": ["Chorus"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.54, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Yeah, he's gotta teach me how to lick my... Oh, I figured it out.", "c": ["Puppy/Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "where you're put to sleep... by my boring stories. And then you'll be killed!", "c": ["Dog Catcher"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Unless you want to.", "c": ["Dog Catcher"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Gawrsh, you can't kill me. I'm half-human! Look, I wear clothes! I speak English! I'm speaking it right now!", "c": ["Goofy/Shady"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "It's Cycle 5, specially formulated for dogs with five minutes to live.", "c": ["Dog Catcher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "This place is no picnic, but it sure beats working for Disney.", "c": ["Shady/Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "I want to stay, sit, roll over and beg! Please, please, please, please, please, please, please...!", "c": ["Shady"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Uh... you know, there are nine other puppies.", "c": ["Shady/Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Smash the flag Burn the queen Kick the sky Antichrist!", "c": ["Punk Band"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Yeah, I'm really lucky you saved me from meeting other people and having new experiences.", "c": ["Nancy/Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Hitler and her majesty / Sittin' in a tree / B-O-R-R-I-N-G!", "c": ["Sid Vicious"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "You sicken me!", "c": ["Sid/Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "I've spelled 'unrequited.' Now I know what it means.", "c": ["Nancy/Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!", "c": ["Sid Vicious"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Look, an American nerd bird. Nerd bird? Would a nerd bird have chocolate, huh? Would a nerd bird? Stop saying 'nerd bird!'", "c": ["British Punks", "Nancy/Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "We're gonna go out and play our songs like we've never played them before: competently!", "c": ["Band Member"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Sidney Sheldon Vicious!", "c": ["Band Manager"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "When I hired a guy named Sid Vicious, I assumed it would be a 30-year business relationship.", "c": ["Band Manager"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Education's bollocks! Bollocks! America is bollocks! Bollocks! Politeness is bollocks! Bollocks! Bollocks!", "c": ["Sex Pistols"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Can't reach me bass. Me back is front ward!", "c": ["Sid/Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Dang it, I wanted to hear what else was bollocks!", "c": ["Audience Member"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "You gobbed up our gig, you git!", "c": ["Band Member"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Ho!! Just stop talking and bang your head against the wall!", "c": ["Band Member"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "This song doesn't make me feel angry at all. If anything, it makes my anger ebb!", "c": ["Punk Fan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "'Cause love is the elixir The potion of emotion The world-saving fixer The lotion of devotion.", "c": ["Nancy/Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Your music violates everything punk stands for, which is nothing!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "Comic Book Guy's Bar", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 12, "et": "Love Springfieldian Style"}, {"t": "The art teacher is fat, not pregnant.", "c": ["Unknown narrator/student"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Taxicab License. What the...?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Fine! We'll divide the car into your side and my side. My leg is the barrier.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Mom! / The system works!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "It's not funny! Your wearing cleats!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Sorry I'm late... I was in a car crash. Many hurt, but nobody cool was harmed.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Who's the new meat in my seat?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "P.S. That school sucked.", "c": ["Donny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Hey, Krabappel, your name sounds like 'crab apple.' Did you go sour waiting for someone to pick you? / Pretty much.", "c": ["Donny", "Mrs. Krabappel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Isn't he awesome? When he grows up, I want to be like me!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Look, new kid, I'm the head hamster in this habitrail, capisce? / Well, maybe there's a new guinea pig in your cage. Capisce that? / Oh, I capisce. I capisce just fine. / Oh, well, you just keep on capisce-ing.", "c": ["Bart", "Donny"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Loa... ner? She's right here. This is the kind of car you see in commercials! How much am I paying for this? - Nothing. - Hm, it seems like a lot.", "c": ["Homer", "Mechanic"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "You people are idiots! / That's the dumb... / What a stu... I mean, that sounds fair.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Look at you! Idiots! Driver of a loaner car Much better than a Driver of my normal car...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Whoa! Fancy wheels! What song does the horn play? / None. / Classy.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Son, I know when we first met, we didn't really hit it off, but since then I've really come to respect you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "And unlike love, respect can't be bought.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Now let's watch the air conditioner fight the heater.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Now let's add the rear window defogger. / Twister! Get down!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "'Air Skinner' brings it up. He bounces the ball repeatedly in a dribbling type motion.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Great, I fouled out. Now can I go? / Nope, I grant you five more fouls.", "c": ["Bart", "Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Students may spend up to ten points per day in up to four of seven categories. Unused points roll over week to week but not month to month. Categories not included: meat, dairy, vegetables...", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "It's not funny; these movements are involuntary.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "This almost makes me want to find out how magnets work.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "When I catch the culprit and I will... I'm gonna throw this away... and use this instead!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Why did you take the rap for me? / I don't know. I like your style.", "c": ["Donny", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Young man, brace yourself... for some congratulations! We did it! You're in!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "By law, the most we can give him is a ten-day suspension. / Well, that's long to a kid!", "c": ["Chalmers", "Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Uter, Ralph, Doug the hip guidance counselor... he was never the same after Bart got through with him.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Young man, I'm gonna be on you like a numerator on a denominator!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "I've never seen blue vines before. / They're only sold in Europe. I know a guy.", "c": ["Donny", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "You can really taste the blue.", "c": ["Donny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "We can rig a cootie catcher so you can marry anybody you want. / Whoa! Sherri! I'm in.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "How is that fun? / Fun's only fun if everyone's having fun.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Do you do it with relish? / No, I'm kind of embarrassed about it.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "What do you mean my car's ready?! Well, you can keep it, 'cause I'm never giving up this one.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "That wasn't us, that was the transmission.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Skinner's five steps ahead of me. I put a tack in his chair, he's corked his pants! I throw a tomato, he's making salad!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Because of your stupid accent? / Nach-nae! Because of its upsetting nature!", "c": ["Bart", "Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "A child thanked me! I gotta write this in my journal. Dear... diary, Today I've...", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "You're in line for a measle shot. / Okay, now we've made a guide hole for the real needle.", "c": ["School Nurse", "Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "You grew tired of always being in my shadow. / No, I like your shadow. It's nice and cool.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Oh, my Gosh. It's an outhouse sent from the future. / Hey, I'm in here. / Be quiet, Robo-potty.", "c": ["Nelson", "Milhouse", "Nelson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Normally, you can't even buy these. You have to buy the ostrich and wait.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Whoa, to think this came out of some animal's butt. / Beautiful, in its way.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "I never dreamed an American car designed in Germany, assembled in Mexico from parts made in Canada could be so amazing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Dad? / Sorry, Maggie.", "c": ["Maggie", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Ah, get back to your knitting, Seymour. / I will, but it's because I want to.", "c": ["Willie", "Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Look, you don't start out wanting to be a rat. Sometimes it's your only option.", "c": ["Donny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Too cute, too tall, too Siamese, too Siamese.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "You see, the rat who told you about my rat was also a rat. It was rats within rats... which was also me dinner last night.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "He gave me something you never could... an elementary school diploma.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "The rat symbolizes obviousness.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 13, "et": "The Debarted"}, {"t": "Come and get me, you syrupy stack of man-cakes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "It's too much work. Why don't you come and get me?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Oh, boy, dinner time! The perfect break between work and drunk.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Wait. What's that smell? It's like a stalk of broccoli fell in a pot of boiling water.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "But I have all those old diets I still haven't finished.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.2, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I'll bet no man would touch you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Bell pepper repetition sequence - Instead of French toast... bell pepper, craving sugar... bell pepper, want beer... bell pepper", "c": ["Betsy"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "It's tangy like a pepper, but crunchy like a bell!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Bell peppers... piping cold, crunchy and bland.", "c": ["Vendor"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Three, please.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Well, they say muscle weighs more than fat. / Homer, your body is all fat.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I'm not even gonna dignify that with eye contact.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I'm looking for something, too... a bell pepper I don't like. Maybe it'll be this one. Wrong again.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "See that fat lady with the moustache? That's you. See that hippo rolling in dung? You're the dung.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Oh, but hers was better!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "He used to be so loving. Now he says he's always working late, but when he comes home, his needles aren't even bloody!", "c": ["Jennifer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Most cheating happens when you think everything is just great.", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Out of the house, kids! I have to make an adult phone call.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Oh, man, not again... How would you...? Come on.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Springfield's National Park - Now smaller than ever", "c": ["Sign"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "The Internet wrote it. I just handed it in.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Cool! The strong kicking the weak's butt. / It's disgusting!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I didn't used to mind it when he'd lock the bathroom door and snack off, but when he's getting it regular, night after night after night...", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Dude, it's Saturday. What kind of a freak wastes his...? / May I join you?", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "You can brush, and I can blow! / Well, I agree you blow. / A lot of people blow, but no one blows like you.", "c": ["Martin", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "When you look up blow in the dictionary... / Bart, he's not gonna get it!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "The bone's the very thing, methinks, to prank my sister and the dink.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "It could be one of the major homos! / You're one of the major...", "c": ["Martin", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I can bike away much faster, and ring the bell to drown out bad thoughts!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Let's watch TV! / Happy, happy safe at home", "c": ["Bart", "TV"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Sadly, his pocket was protected, but nothing else.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Chief, that's evidence. / I know, but after it's evidence, it's a shirt again, isn't it?", "c": ["Lou", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.14, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Hmm? Oh, dead. Definitely dead.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Hey, I was trying to help him. At worst, I'm an accomplice.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Got any Joyce Carol Oates? / Nope. It's all Danielle Steel.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bookmobile driver"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I'm saying this is worse than a million A minuses!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "We were never outside. We were here all day. / That quick talking is never a good sign.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I, uh,... have to count the atoms at the nuclear plant. Conservation of mass. It's the law.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "It'll finally win me the respect of my father, the Reverend Billy Graham, Junior.", "c": ["TV Producer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Martin Priss, Martin Princess, Fartin' Prince, Martin the Brown-Nosed Reindeer", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Martin was a shy, awkward child who will never fulfill his promise to become a weird, unloved adult.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Usually when I do something bad, I feel good. But not this time. Martin was like Jesus, only real.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.09, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Martin was afraid of heights. What's he doing on a cliff? It don't add up. / Hey, look who's trying to add.", "c": ["Nelson", "Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I used to make documentaries about coal miners, migrant workers, things that mattered. / Yeah yeah, we're all whores. Just get in there.", "c": ["Cameraman", "Producer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "What do you mean 'what's up'? Why would something be up? Yeah, nothing's up, nothing's down, except for Martin, who died.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Well, I certainly wasn't eating chips and salsa from this briefcase.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Hey, you little murderer. / What?! / Those shades are killing me, they're so cute.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "We can't be seen together. / But we're brother and sister. / Exactly.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I like how 'Kwik' is spelled with a 'K.' It's a quicker way of spelling 'quick.'", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Found this bone tied to a string. Almost like someone was playing a prank on him.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Everyone likes pranks, e-even Dr. Hibbert. / I hate pranks.", "c": ["Bart", "Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I can't live with the guilt. I'm going to Martin's house to end it all", "c": ["Bart (note)"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "By which I meant bring Martin's butterfly project to completion.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I'm on a freight train to Crazy Town.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Congratulations on purchasing the Sanyo DL30, the finest non-reversing tape player", "c": ["Tape player"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Clawdy-claw, clickety-cloo, clawdy-claw...", "c": ["Martin's Recording"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Pudding power, activate!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I'd rather have a chubby hubby than a sexy exy.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "If there was a reality show called Fat Guys Who Really Love Their Wives, not only would it be an enormous ratings success, but I'd be the first one on it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I'm going to the editing room to make you look insane.", "c": ["TV Producer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I almost flicked an innocent butterfly.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Listen, world, we killed Martin Prince!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "You almost got away with it, but here's where you got sloppy: shouting out that you did it.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I'll let you cherry-bomb my Malibu Stacy.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "To quote Mark Twain, 'rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.'", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "For years I've worn underwear with a wedgie-accommodating waistband. On that fateful day, these mighty whiteys saved my life.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.91, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I spent an hour fashioning an escape raft and three days crafting this modesty skirt.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.26, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "I learned that beneath my goody two-shoes lie some very dark socks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.32, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "And I learned that killing a nerd is not as fun as it sounds.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 14, "et": "Dial N For Nerder"}, {"t": "Wait in line for a book?! You tell 'em Bart says hey.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I'm not a nerd. I'm a jock who's too cool for sports.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I read a rumor Spider-man's in it.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I based my costume on the books, not the movies.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Move or die!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "It's for my kid! Eureka!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Do the character voices!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Maluicious Krubb is actually Kraluicious Mubb.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Magic, magic, magic, all is won.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "But kids, I want you in bed by 3:00 a.m. Hey, somebody's got to be the bad guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Well, maybe he reached out done and killed someone.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Stop saying things, Bart. That's the TV's job.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "'Cause only I can teach it and I ain't taught you, so you don't", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Move over, Europe!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Wednesday, you see I'm a heartless bastard. Thursday you realize you love me, damn it. Friday, we're closed.", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "It's upstairs in my Disappointment Closet.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.16, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "doctor, safecracker, stethoscope sales lady", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "My bosoms came in and ruined my balance.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "They came in one at a time.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I'm pretty sure you'll have your dad's boobs.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "You mean she danced well, into her 70s? Or she danced, well into her 70s?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Go-go or boring?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Closed in a week. Too smart for the corndog crowd, too dumb for the bagel bunch.", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "You have a drinking problem? I said secret.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Gay out?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "The queen of all the jerkys!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Some of that is cow blood.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "It won't go down.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "How can they teach if they can't do? Get out!", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "This is how I always stand when I tell adults what they should be doing.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "married your plastic surgeon, retired, and then un-retired in a special little show called Woman of the Year", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "We balerinas are under constant pressure to stay focused, skinny, graceful and skinny.", "c": ["Ballerina"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "But for every ballerina in the world, it's cigarettes.", "c": ["Ballerina"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Zack's life wasn't so sweet then.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "If God didn't want ballerinas to smoke, how come I can do this?", "c": ["Ballerina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Maybe it's all the secondhand 'focus' and 'pep' you are inhaling.", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I thought they were cancer sticks. I dan't dear dou!", "c": ["Ballerina", "Chazz"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Step into our Jerkatorium.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "You have made a very powerless enemy.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "You can skip the 'K' and the 'Y.'", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "As the oak said to the beagle, you're barkin' up the wrong tree.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I spent the whole morning blacking out the 'goshes' and 'darns' in these Hardy Boys books.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Ah! 'heck, darn.' I don't think so.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I don't think so.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "You mean losers like... Simone de Beauvoir, Margaret Mead, Queen Elizabeth I, Lauren Bacall...", "c": ["Cigarette Vision"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Bring out the Hellman's, and bring out the best.", "c": ["Lillian Hellman"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I brought the best weapon to operate while drugged: a crossbow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Lisa the dancing Marge girl.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "That wasn't a defeat, it was a phased withdrawal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "When you cut 'em, they multiply. I can't fight that!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Look, there's a Homer and a Bart and a Marge and a Lisa.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "and, one day, you'll grow up to be people.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "When the big cigarette hits 9.", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Hit the river, ladies. Go ahead, have a wallow.", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "A 'sturgeon' is a fish. And a very wise fish he is!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Oh, fatherhood hurts my brain.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I'm gonna stick to you like waffle syrup on a shag rug.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I'm gonna be on you like fish stink on a Gloucester dog.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Hey, I'm still paying for that nose!", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "If you don't breathe it, that smoke might go into a baby.", "c": ["Ballerina"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Wrong number.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Not keys, cigarettes!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Yeah, that's what I mean.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Can't. I'm pregnant.", "c": ["Pregnant Woman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "That's your finger!", "c": ["Ballerina"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "I'll spit on your grave, grandma!", "c": ["Ballerina"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Crap Like This. Ran for five years.", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "It stunts your growth. And it's marketed to children. I'm talking about ballet.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "You'll never take down big ballet! Never!", "c": ["Chazz Busby"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Does that mean I can stop training to be a Mexican wrestler?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "No! Now practice preening to the crowd, El Guapo.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "You feed on their hatred and you are so hungry!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 15, "et": "Smoke On The Daughter"}, {"t": "Dad, are you sure you're okay to drive at night? It's night?!", "c": ["Bart", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Tommy Dorsey's All-White Orchestra... to a time when girls were girls and a Hershey bar was as thick as a phone book", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "I'm sick of this song! / I don't like this one either... too optimistic! Too slow! Too fast! No zazz! Too much zazz! More boogie! Less woogie! My back hurts! All my friends are dead!", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Nice one. Thanks. Oh, no, we're gonna die.", "c": ["Bart", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Eventually I'll die in your home, which'll hurt the resale value", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "I was having the most wonderful dream. I always wake up just before the good part.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "The money helps us serve the community. We plant trees, pick up litter, cut up milk bones for old dogs... / It was rhetorical question. / And I used rhetoric in my answer?", "c": ["Lisa", "Quimby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "We spent all our money on that new slogan for Springfield.", "c": ["Quimby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "If you don't give me those cookies, I'll pass a law forcing your organization to accept gay scout leaders. / I would strongly support that measure.", "c": ["Quimby", "Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "do you mean really broke, or uh, 'O.J. Simpson broke'?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "I've been reduced to using this cheap novelty gavel. Order! Order! [gavel breaks]", "c": ["Quimby"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "So I say we roll up our sleeves, and fake a disaster to trick the federal government out of relief money.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Rip off the federal government? Mmm, I have reservations... for dinner in five minutes.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Now, when exactly did the hurricane pass through your town? Er, uh, five minutes ago. You just missed it.", "c": ["FEMA Official", "Quimby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "And that's how a fake FEMA official scammed us out of $2,500. We are now worse than broke.", "c": ["Quimby"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Everyone from... Comic Book Guy to... Milhouse! No one shall be spared!", "c": ["Tax Official"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Bunk with me tonight, Kermit / Bunk with me tonight... / Uh, really, Lurleen?", "c": ["Lurleen", "Kermit"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Dad was Colonel Homer and he wore that awesome suit and Lurleen wanted to bunk his brains out!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Kids, marriage is like a car. Along the way it has its bumps and dings, and this country can't make one that lasts more than five years.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "With penalties, interest and the celebrity resentment tax, that sum has grown to $12 million.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "I told her not to go into one of those.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Not for any reward, but for the pleasure of destroying someone they once admired. Save some for me!", "c": ["News Reporter", "Crowd"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Got her! / Krusty? / I just want to win one thing in my life! / It's not real. / Don't you dare ruin the moment!", "c": ["Krusty", "Crowd Member"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Look at those idiots. I bet Lurleen's a million miles away right now. / Hey, Homer.", "c": ["Homer", "Lurleen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Shh! I'm more wanted than the last petal on a bloomin' onion.", "c": ["Lurleen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "You live here? / Well, at least she's got a friend. / It's your turn to clean the toilet. / Where is it? / You're holding it.", "c": ["Homer", "Lurleen", "Marge", "Possum"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Oh, it's a traditional Southern recipe: ketchup, Coca-Cola, and fricasseed possum. Just kiddin'. It's actually chicken.", "c": ["Lurleen"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Confederate degenerate? Southern-fried succubus? Hee-haw ho?", "c": ["Lurleen", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Chief, you okay? / Yeah, yeah. / Why'd you jump off the roof? / I just wanted to be extraordinary.", "c": ["Lou", "Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Well, I thought if we acted like The People's Court, some day we'd be The People's Court. And, uh, well, a bailiff can dream, can't he? / No, he can't.", "c": ["Bailiff", "Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Did it go up your nose? Between your toes?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Boy, you sure have married a lot of super-hunks.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "All right, I need you to get the rats outta the jukebox, and clean the vomit out of the pool table pockets, and then you got the job. / Oh, and you've gotta share your tips with Manuel, who's, uh, actually me with a fake moustache. Es good job. You should take it.", "c": ["Moe", "Manuel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Oh, and you've gotta share your tips with Manuel, who's, uh, actually me with a fake moustache. Es good job. You should take it.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Say, Lurleen, are you Jamaican? 'Cause 'Jamaican' me crazy. / That's sweet, but I'm not lookin' to date. / No, I'm glad you said that. 'Cause you reminded me that I'm not looking a David.", "c": ["Barney", "Lurleen"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Hey, Lurleen, I'm going down to the rock quarry tonight to throw stones at the woodchucks. Want to come? / No. / That's okay. I understand. Someone's lookin' at a snake in her mailbox.", "c": ["Carl", "Lurleen"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "She turned down Lenny and Carl? That's like someone who doesn't like hamburgers or hot dogs. What could make her hate men like that?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "How could a man just abandon his family? By which I mean, what is the method he would use, and could anyone do it?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.31, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "I've talked to over 500 men named Lumpkin. Everyone at Lumpkin, Lumpkin and Rosenthal Associates, an Asian or Pacific Islander named Cho Lum Kin... Good luck in searchings!", "c": ["Homer", "Cho Lum Kin"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.34, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Lurleen? I ain't seen my little girl in 30 years. She must be what, uh, 12, 13 by now?", "c": ["Royce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Oh, man. I better whiskey up these corn flakes. / She needs to see you right away! / Oh, man. I better heroin up this orange juice.", "c": ["Royce"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Lurleen?! My goodness. Why, you're the spittin' image of your mother's hotter sister!", "c": ["Royce"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Can you forgive me, Lurleen? The way that I immediately forgave myself?", "c": ["Royce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "I made that hug happen! Wait a minute. He's a deadbeat dad, and yet, he's getting as much love as me, a dad too lazy to run away!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Bart, get me my suicide axe. / No suicide axe! / Later.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "You know what I like best about this T-shirt? I'll always be able to see your face. / Oh, well, you don't need a T-shirt for that, Tootsie Pop, 'cause I ain't ever gonna leave you again.", "c": ["Lurleen", "Royce"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "callback"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Just sit still in my lap! / What lap? / Yeah, all I see is a gut with knees!", "c": ["Royce", "Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Lurleen's daddy comes back after 30 years, and he's father of the year. Why can't I leave for 30 years? / Fine with me. Look, I packed you a bag. / it might be cold outside. / No problem. I bought you a hat.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Oh, I see. It's reverse psychology. Well, in that case, I'm not going, and I'm not staying. And I'll cut my steak with a spoon, then take a walk on the ceiling.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Well, in that case, I'm not going, and I'm not staying. And I'll cut my steak with a spoon, then take a walk on the ceiling.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Oh, Daddy, you made me the happiest girl on whichever side of the Mississippi this is.", "c": ["Lurleen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Daddy's a deadbeat / He's leaving his daughter again.", "c": ["Lurleen"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Since her father re-abandoned her, she's cut the word 'pop' out of all of our foods.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "You'd think a house full of crazy people would be fun. It's actually really depressing.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Here's a new song that's rising faster than a rocket with a rocket up its butt.", "c": ["DJ"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "You're married to a kind, thoughtful genius. / Uh, yeah... / Marge, my fringes are knotted again.", "c": ["Lurleen", "Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "There's only one person in the world who can tell you what to do. And that person is right here! / Santa Claus?! / No, no, that's just our old Christmas decorations.", "c": ["Marge", "Lurleen"], "jt": ["misdirection", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "You're not a doormat. You're a door prize!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Regular movies... don't hold your breath. But TV movies... the sky's the limit.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Colonel, you're still my knight in white polyester. / Ten percent Lycra. / Oh, I noticed.", "c": ["Lurleen", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "I don't know. You're asking us to sell out our song. And for what? / Cash money. / Money? Ooh, we love money! / Really? That's great! / I'm gonna buy me a clock radio!", "c": ["Dixie Chicks", "Royce"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Cash money. / Money? Ooh, we love money! / Really? That's great! I'm gonna buy me a clock radio!", "c": ["Royce", "Dixie Chicks", "Dixie Chick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Okay, maybe I abandoned my daughter and stole her song, but I'm still the most honorable record producer y'all have ever met. / Well, he's got us there.", "c": ["Royce", "Dixie Chicks"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Babe, need a hundred bucks for beer. / Ooh, I think he's a keeper.", "c": ["New Guy", "Lurleen"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Of all the women who've hit on Homer over the years, you're my favorite. / If you ever come near Homer again, I'll strangle you with your own hair extensions. That's right. I know.", "c": ["Marge", "Lurleen"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 16, "et": "Papa Dont Leech"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, kids! It's a beautiful, sunny Saturday morning. So get ready for six hours of cartoons!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Trans-Clown-O-Morphs Transforming clowns that morph Sent to Earth to defeat the evil Dino-Robo-Bots", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Buy my cereal, find the secret code inside and text me the message 'start the day with Kellogg's' - or I will die.", "c": ["Trans-Clown-O-Morph"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Hurry! Guess no one's buying my cereal. Buy or I'll die.", "c": ["Trans-Clown-O-Morph"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Every week we have to buy something else to save that transforming clown that morphs.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Mom, we need a Callaway titanium perimeter-weighted driver! - It adds yards to any swing.", "c": ["Bart", "Commercial"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Lisa, I've got a big bunch of black banas. You know what that means. Bana bread!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Oh, no, I hate the beanbag store. The clerks are always shouting in Hebrew on their cell phones.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Don't you worry about Wikipedia. We'll change it when we get home. We'll change a lot of things.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Hey, check it out! I wouldn't mind driving that over a prairie dog village.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Martin?! What's a tool like you doing on something cool like that?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Indeed, it has the most finger loss of any youth organization.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Son, a lot of these youth organizations encourage parents to get involved in the activities. - Not this one. - Sold!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "I pledge my head to clearer thinking, my heart to greater loyalty, my hands.. oh, man, how many 'H's' does this thing have?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Raise articulator, set hydraulic brakes and endorse farm subsidy check for crops I didn't grow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "I didn't come here today expecting to fall in love.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "looks like we're partners. You're a scrappy little misfit, just like me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Anyone want to trade? No reasonable offer refused. I'll take a chicken.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Oh, I thought she was peeing out of her nipple.", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "That's great. It rhymes 'moo.'", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Now son, I'm not here to judge. - Actually, yes, you are. - Eh, what? Oh, right, I am.", "c": ["Homer", "Judge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "But he won! Why don't you kill the loser cows?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Oh, we will, but your cow gets to go first.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Mom, they're going to kill Lou and make him into food and fringe vests for gay cowboys.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Son, let this be a lesson: never work hard and don't form emotional attachments. Also, don't be a cow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Leave me alone! It's not my fault there's nothing good to eat on this planet except meat!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "If I could save Lou, I'd never eat meat again. Not even prosciutto and melon!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "That wasn't my conscience mooing, it was... Tress MacNeille!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Sorry, Lis. I can't be a vegetarian. I love the taste of death.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Stop stirring your lemonade with a sausage.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Milk is murder. Cheese is genocide.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Aw, man, I never figured the gate would be locked. It's like they knew we were coming.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Yeah, it's my code name. This is Compost and this is Solar Panel. What's my code name? Lisa's Brother.", "c": ["Windsong", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Lisa's Brother.", "c": ["Windsong"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Forgive us for this violation, Mother Fence. We honor your chain-link spirit.", "c": ["Windsong"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "I don't care how much of a pumped-up freak you are. I still love you. The way Barry Bonds' kids probably still love him.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "That was a practice cow.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Howdy, what's yours that mine's is Cletus?", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "She had a regular city birth in a gas station.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "According to the traditions of the hill folk, by giving our daughter a cow, you've made a formal proposal of marriage.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "I can't get married. I'm only ten. And I have dreams. I got 1580 on my DQAT.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "DQAT? - Dairy Queen Aptitude Test. 800 ice cream, 780 Brazier.", "c": ["Mary", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "I wished I had a tail what did swap away flies. Mine just hangs there.", "c": ["Mary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "We always figured someday Mary would marry. That's why we called her Mary.", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "We name all our kids after what we think's gonna happen to 'em. Ain't that right, Stabbed-in-jail?", "c": ["Cletus", "Stabbed-in-jail"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "We'll see who stabs who.", "c": ["Stabbed-in-jail"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "What was that for? - Bart's in trouble and we don't need your stupid comments. - Zippin' it up.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Something old... something new, something burrowed, and something stew.", "c": ["Brandine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "you just got cold feet... 'cause you're barefoot and our floor's made of mud.", "c": ["Brandine"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Kiss?! I thought we were just getting married.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "And since we don't need to hear from women folk what they think, I now pronounce you...", "c": ["Preacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "He still sits in the driveway and pretends to drive the car.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Don't feel bad, sweetie. I was 13 when I married your father. - Yeah, and you'd already been divorced four times.", "c": ["Brandine", "Cletus"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Sweetie, don't you think your mom might have a trick up her sleeve? - No. - Trust me. - D'oh! I mean, moo!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Ooh, 'Laughter House.' With the world in the shape it's in, we could all use some comedy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "In India, your cow will be treated like a god and receive the food and medical care that in America would go to human beings.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Lou, if that plane leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and definitely after they kill you and make you into sloppy joes.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Here's looking at you, cud.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "that sounds like Tress MacNeille.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "callback"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "It makes me never want to eat meat again. Just fish, chicken, burgers, veal on Fridays, deer, but only in season and if necessary, the sweetest meat of all: human.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "You're in a better place now, Lou, and I'll always be proud that for once in my life, I had a cow, man.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 17, "et": "Apocalypse Cow"}, {"t": "Behold the tailgate party, the pinnacle of human achievement!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "What child birth is to women, eating trunk meats is to the bewanged.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "What could be greater than eating and drinking for hours in a drizzly parking lot? - Anything. - No. Everything is better. - Anything! - Everything!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Daddy, I made a Ralphwich!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "It tastes hurty!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "No, no, no. I'm sorry. It's food. It's food. Everything's what you say it is.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "When you know the people you're begging from, it's mooching.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Moleman! Come here, ya big bag o' skin!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Springfield U sucks! A&M cheerleaders are clumsy! Your superstar professors treat undergrads like an afterthought! Your tenure track is heavily politicized!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.24, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Well, I guess I could cut loose and do a little homework.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I am a born film maker!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Three points out of a possible five. Ah, that's a funny joke, Mr. Kincaid. Is this an art class or a comedy class?", "c": ["Lisa", "Mr. Kincaid"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I can make it a two. - Three it is!", "c": ["Mr. Kincaid", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "It's as if Ingmar Bergman and Penny Marshall had a baby.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "When Edna Met Seymour, Ghost Willie, Killing Seymour's Mother, The Principal Who Sold a Screenplay.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["running_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Orlando or Hollywood? There's one in Hollywood?!", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Not the smarty-pants answer. Where's the drama in your life? - My family! - Language, rhythm and spectacle.", "c": ["Skinner", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "All I ask is, if you ever win an Oscar... give it to me.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Those cabinetmakers laughed at me, but they'll see.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Can I be Smithers? - No, Dad, I want you to play Homer Simpson. - Why, 'cause I'm fat?", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "What, I'm going for a Shia LaBeouf thing. Not quite a nerd, not quite a hunk... Shia LaBeouf!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, there's already an on-set romance.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Homie, she's not making a snuggle film.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I'm thrilled! Or would have been, if not for your knee-jerk assumption that I'm angry at you, which I am now.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "The whole school is made up of modeling clay. Every afternoon, they reshape it just to get my goat.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Banff? Banff, Shmanff. I'm talking about Sundance!", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "If Lisa's movie gets in, we won't just be the school with the highest hamster mortality rate. Ah, so young. We'll also have a kid who did a thing.", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Paul Giamatti... is the world's greatest superspy... who only exists in the mind of an overweight agoraphobic jazz musician... played by Martin Lawrence in a fat suit.", "c": ["Sundance Judge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Oh, and she's eight years old!", "c": ["Sundance Judge"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Save the Children? Save your breath. Take a hike, Sierra Club. Doctors without Borders? Doctors without money!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Robert Redford? Guess what. A scissor runs through it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Aye, los DVDs! With director's commentary and deleted scenes!", "c": ["Bumblebee Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Who are you? I try to answer that question in my films. What else? I can eat a raw onion without crying.", "c": ["Jim Jarmusch"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Yeah, but I'm crying about something else. What? This is the last time we'll ever be together.", "c": ["Jim Jarmusch"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I get it. Every title means the opposite of what it means. Then I bet I'll love Chernobyl Graveyard.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I didn't.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "You know these guys? I've never seen them before. Uh... we, uh... He's... He's, uh... he's, uh... That's a joke.", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "This can't be real. It isn't. You crashed and now you're lying unconscious in a snowbank.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Chalmskinn.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Why... doesn't... life... give me... ladders?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "They're like the family from hell on acid that's on steroids.", "c": ["Audience Member"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "You did, Dad.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Brava, Lisa! Shame on Marge! Death to Maggie!", "c": ["Audience"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I knew you were lame, but I never imagined you were bogus.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Quirky? Quirky is a grandma who gives people the finger. You made us look like monsters.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Landspeeder, do not Bantha, to your nearest cinema", "c": ["Reviewer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. You're too late. I have just hit 'enter,' sending the wi-fi beams along their way. Not if I can help it. Come here, beams, come on. Hey, hey, where you going? Come... Oh, there's too many.", "c": ["Reviewer", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I just said I was thinking of adopting Scarlett Johansson. I mean, is that so wrong?", "c": ["Agent"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "We want ten percent of the first-dollar gross, full European distribution rights, and access to the most exclusive VIP tent in Sundance.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "They don't even know that my pockets are full of bottled water and cornbread.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "They don't even know that my pockets are full of bottled water and cornbread.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "That doesn't sound like your kind of movie. It will be. Check out the poster.", "c": ["Lisa", "Jim Jarmusch"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "That's why they call me 'Two Basket' Skinner. What? They do.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "You're going to be the classiest girl at Classy Girls.", "c": ["Nelson's Mom"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "If I want that golf umbrella, I got to get to smoking.", "c": ["Nelson's Mom"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.41, "im": 8.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "True, but I was also teaching you that festival buzz is, like my movie Coffee and Cigarettes, a funny thing. - Did you see it? - Well, I, uh... That's okay. I know you did.", "c": ["Jim Jarmusch", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "True, but I was also teaching you that festival buzz is, like my movie Coffee and Cigarettes, a funny thing. - Did you see it? - Well, I, uh... - That's okay. I know you did.", "c": ["Jim Jarmusch", "Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "And now, like the best independent films, I must fade out with a cool dissolve. That hurts.", "c": ["Jim Jarmusch"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "We'll be in another movie, and this time we'll act really bad. No more Simpsons movies. One was plenty.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "I'm not going to lie to you guys. John C. Reilly would love to be in the Chalmskinn business.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Read it? I lived it. I am Ghost Willie. Check this out.", "c": ["John C. Reilly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "Why can't you be a gentle clinker?", "c": ["Chalmers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 18, "et": "Any Given Sundance"}, {"t": "This punishment is not medieval.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Oh, I like creating disappointment. You know that little moment where people's hope dies? I feed on that.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "We listened to music radio in the car.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "I want to go lecture the food court businesses that are still using Styrofoam.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Lead-based toys! Lead-based toys! Sit on a bench! Sit on a bench!", "c": ["Bart", "Maggie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Like what? - Food. - Pass. - Shelter? - That dump?! - Clothing? - I wouldn't blow my nose into this.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Video's broken, Alan! Call Eric! I'm Eric! Black Eric!", "c": ["Store employees"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "I want a poodle. I'd stay away from poodles. They give the dog... ideas.", "c": ["Homer", "Store employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Doctor. - Okay... nurse it is. Professor. - Kindergarten teacher. - Chef! - Lunch lady! - CEO! Secretary to a CEO.", "c": ["Maggie", "Store employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "We fooled her... Betsy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Wow, this guy could put Milhouse out of business.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Homer is a lard butt... Homer has booger breath... Homer is a big jerk... Dung muncher. Stink brains. Cheese wang. Captain Crud... B.O. Baracus. Mount Baldy. Tub of Guts. Crapper Clogger.", "c": ["Stuffed animal", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Dung muncher. Stink brains. Cheese wang. Captain Crud. B.O. Baracus. Mount Baldy. Tub of Guts. Crapper Clogger.", "c": ["Stuffed dolphin"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "I'll kill you all!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Uh-oh, that's where the food sleeps.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Why would a robber make pie? Who cares? If you kill him, we'll be on TV!", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "You're just like that show Scrubs.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "You already ate the whole thing. Well, I'm not going to digest it!", "c": ["Mona", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "When did he lose his cuteness? Oh, I have a picture of that right here.", "c": ["Lisa", "Mona"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "But at least he wasn't raised by a television.", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "You left a hole in heart that could never be filled. So I filled it with food. But I'm never full.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Hey, Lance, nice trousers. Did you win those at the Tour de Pants? Wokka, wokka!... Yeah, well, I never thought you were funny. Ever.", "c": ["Fozzie Bear", "Lance Armstrong"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "I'm still with you, son. Oh, this just gets worse and worse!", "c": ["Mona's ghost", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "First, it was gonna be the Hustle. Recently, I've been taking tap lessons. But now? Well, I don't feel much like dancing.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "And I'd say you suck. And she would say you don't suck that bad. She said I didn't suck? That bad.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Aw, I wish I was your son, too... Uh, Moe, Lenny's mom says she loves you.", "c": ["Lenny", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Manjula will sell the store, dye her hair blonde, and marry my cousin Jangelvar. Yes, I will.", "c": ["Apu", "Manjula"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "That tiny mouse in the nacho cheese. Oh, for crying out loud, people aren't mice.", "c": ["Apu", "Ned"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Look, Homer, people don't come back as anything, except for our Lord, who came back as bread.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "That's the thing with your religion: it's a bummer. Even the sing-alongs? No, the sing-alongs are okay.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "That's the thing with your religion: it's a bummer. Even the sing-alongs? No, the sing-alongs are okay.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "A donut from the future?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Remember, he brought his girlfriend and they got in a fight?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "If you are watching this right now, I am dead. Or if I'm not dead, you've gotten into my stuff. But if I am dead, this is my will. And if I'm not, get out of my stuff.", "c": ["Mona"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "You got nothing, you got nothing.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Hmm, it smells like concerts.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Oh, it works on so many levels.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "I will avenge you. It's not really avenging her, Dad, just the fulfillment of her last wish. I'm really glad you corrected me, Lisa. People are always really glad when they're corrected.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "You know, spiritually speaking, Grandma's ashes won't know where they've been thrown from, so... in a way... I'm lying down now.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Hmm, to spare, eh? Marge, your back is so sweaty. I'm starting to slip off.", "c": ["Homer", "Maggie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Mom. You used me to pull one more stupid hippie protest. Didn't you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Ugh, ever since you started watching Monk, you think you are Monk. You're not Monk.", "c": ["Fat Tony"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Hey, I've seen your wife. She's no Mamie Van Doren.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "On another subject, next Thursday I have to leave work early. I assume that's cool.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "My purse is made of hemp. If we burn it, the silly smoke will mellow out those guards.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Hey, did you ever think about how, like, your fingers are like legs for your hand? Imagine what cute little shoes they'd wear. That's already a thing - thimbles, right?", "c": ["Guard"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Actually, you only hired ten. A couple guys called in sick and the Jewish guy has to leave at sunset.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "Now I'll just add water to these ashes and bring my mother back to life. It doesn't work that way, Homie.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "More sugar, more sugar. - No. - Why not? Because you're sweet enough.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 19, "et": "Mona Leaves A"}, {"t": "There are more stars here tonight than you can see in the sky, thanks to light pollution.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Here comes the magnificently-mammaried, mistress of midnight movie mayhem, Booberella.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Get a job, parasites.", "c": ["Gabbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "An award so prestigious, that it recently won the 'Award of the Year' award at the 2007 Awardy Awards.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Nor him. Nor ham.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "I remember watching him as a kid, and I thought, 'I could do that, and I'm a kid.'", "c": ["Drew Carey"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "but to find out what, you've gotta test his pee. Pee! Seriously, test his pee. He's a danger to the community.", "c": ["Drew Carey"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "And now I give you a man whose act will never grow old, because it started out that way:", "c": ["Drew Carey"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "I never thought I'd make it past 400 episodes, what with the drinking and the smoking and the fact that I'm just not that good.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Hey! Quit steppin' on my solo, ya creepy little show monkeys!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "You owe me money, Krusty. I did time for you, clown. Hard time.", "c": ["Former Krusketeer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "That's right. All except the successful ones.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "As long you're willing to sign a 20 year personal services contract where I get 99% of all your earnings.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "For a second there, he hoped I got it.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Sorry I'm four hours late.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "For my first impression... I'm a lantern fish.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Now I'm a jack-o'-lantern. E.T. B.E.T.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "My son's a good-for-somethin'!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "You kids were all terrific. I wish I could make each of you a Krusketeer, but we only have enough money for one. Plus, I don't really want to.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Here's Mudd in your eye.", "c": ["Wilbur Mudd"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Did you know the Discovery Channel doesn't have a single paid employee?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "To make Bart a Krusketeer? Hell, no. To make you my new intern.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Now go get me my dry-cleaning, which is my code word for scotch. And get me a scotch, which is my code word for my bookie. Also, go get my dry-cleaning.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "I wish I was paying you, so I could dock your salary.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Over the years, show business has been home to scoundrels and saints, thespians and harlequins, Abbots and Costelli.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Oh, and go to my joke file and make all the 'Sophia Lorens' into 'Lindsay Lohans.'", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "What am I, Al Gore? Just do it.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Yeah, well, my mom says you're a selfish lover.", "c": ["Assistant"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "I know what I want and I get it.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Never meet his gaze. And if he mentions Mitzi Gaynor, and he will, for God's sake act like you know who she is.", "c": ["Sideshow Mel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "I was gonna say 'cheap Korean animation,' but sure.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Krusty klovnen baby visker!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "But you just bought yourself 'ear piercing' and 'strange new feelings.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Are you interested in coin collecting? Am I?! No.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Bart"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "I will start you off with this bicentennial quarter and I will throw in my man scrunchie.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "I'm gonna call you 'The Goy Wonder.' Because I don't remember your name.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "This hobby sucks. Son, all hobbies suck. But if you keep at it, you might find at the end that you've managed to kill some precious time.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "The one on the left looks into it, but the one on the right is just experimenting.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Long John Seltzer!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Which clown? Chuckles? Professor Nitwit? No, you! No Yu, the Chinese Clown?", "c": ["Krusty", "Ron"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "I can be eight! La, la, la, la. I'm eight years old.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Quick, switch from internal monologue to external dialogue!", "c": ["Unknown Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "This is the lowest I've ever sunk and I once made out with a blow-up doll", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Sorry you broke up with me now Cindy?", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "This is a classic 1978 Pizza Hut! Mmm... terrible.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "But I feel strangely empty. Ooh, there's another coin. That should do it.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Sir, the promise of cash is not an enticement.", "c": ["Auctioneer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Yes, but the problem is, if you had it, I wouldn't.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "I only gave him four cents for that nickel.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "Applause is an addiction, like heroin or checking your e-mail.", "c": ["Sideshow Mel"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "This just in: I don't give a crap.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "She crashed her car in to mine and said, 'Look, honey, we have a hybrid.'", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 19, "e": 20, "et": "All About Lisa"}, {"t": "I love how they made the river green.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Actually, my nuclear plant did that. And now that you know, your life is in danger.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "I, Joseph Fitzgerald O'Malley Fitzpatrick O'Donnell the Edge Quimby", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "The Irish gave the world the paddy wagon, the shamrock shake and folk dancing where you don't move your arms.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Where's the IRA when you need 'em? We renounced the ways of the gun and the bomb.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Two kinds of Irish people? What are they fighting over, who gets to sleep in the bathtub?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "It always comes down to transubstantiation versus consubstantiation.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Without the booze, these guys all remember how much they hate each other!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "This was such a pleasant St. Patrick's Day till the Irish people showed up.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "You don't have the teeth for it. Aye, but we could gum the frosting.", "c": ["Irish kids"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Light, moist, and such a marvelous shape retention.", "c": ["Patrick Farrelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "A professional baker's employee? Imagine how different my life would be.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "I'll use my one phone call to find out all about it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Mulk request change of venue. Green monster cannot get fair trial in downtown Springfield.", "c": ["Unknown defendant"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Three-peat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "I make that in a year.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "I called your boss to verify your employment, and he says you're fired for getting arrested. You'd be amazed how often that happens.", "c": ["Bail bondsman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "I also take a tooth, make a plaster cast, put it on this necklace, then replace the tooth at my expense.", "c": ["Wolf"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "You have to pass an online exam. No, wait, they got rid of that. There is a $10 filing fee, but you can get around it. Congratulations! You're now a bounty hunter!", "c": ["Wolf"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Bail-jumpers welcome! That's refreshing, after the cold shoulder we got at the Townhomes at Sterling Pointe.", "c": ["Fugitives"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Now, let's think about this. If you shoot me, I won't be able to stop you, and you'll be free to go. But someone may come after you. Probably not, given your reputation for shooting people who come after you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "What I'm trying to say is not shooting me now would be the biggest mistake of your life.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Bullet-proof glass. Flanders?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Young man, what would your mother say if she knew you were shooting nice people in the brain?", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "She'd say that year off from Princeton was the worst decision I ever made.", "c": ["Criminal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Homer, you could have killed him! I sure could have, thanks to you.", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Now I can clearly see potential customers walk right past my store. Enjoy your shopping elsewhere!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "As the salad said to the soup, 'I'm all mixed up.'", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "And you have to promise no diddilies or doodilies. My friend, you have a deal-arooney! D'oh!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Why do you only have me make spheres, rods, and half-moon shapes?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "We need something tasty and tasteless. I've got just the thing, courtesy of my newest baker: freshly-frosted ass cake.", "c": ["Customer", "Patrick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "This is an erotic bakery!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "For as long as there's been baking, there's been erotic baking. It fills a need and harms no one.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Without your baking, people like me will be forced into back alleys, repurposing Ho Hos and Ding Dongs.", "c": ["Patrick"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Finally, a practical use for electricity.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "No. It looks cool! D'oh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Shell casings! There's still bullets in some of these. Point them away from your sisters when you hammer them.", "c": ["Criminal father", "Son"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Dad, is this from a meth lab? The biggest one in town. This is evidence. Evidence that I love my little girl.", "c": ["Daughter", "Father"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Yes, for now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "I like their Christian cover band: AD/BC. Kindly deeds done for free.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Man, that's harder to swallow than evolution.", "c": ["Criminal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Lord, in your mercy, could you give my friend a stroke?", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.29, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Quick, we'll have to eat from each end. We'll know we're safe when our lips meet in the middle.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "You need a special sticker just to bring a bike.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Wait, I left a sandwich in there.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "I'll tell you what's over. This partnership!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "You know, if you take your foot off the accelerator going downhill, you wouldn't use so much gas.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "I hid it all in the one place you'd never look.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "I can see you withholding sex or withholding cake, but withholding sexy cake?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "You, me and the cake. First, why don't you and I and the cake take a shower?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "And how did you know I wouldn't be there? Lucky guess.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Forgot my keys.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "You hang onto resentment like a Confederate widow.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you hold on to the big things.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Thanks, but... what are you holding on to?", "c": ["Homer", "Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "I guess I did know the whole Old Testament by heart. Out with the old, in with the new. Testament, that is.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Make it life, and you've got a deal.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 1, "et": "Sex Pies And Idiot Scrapes"}, {"t": "Teacher's diet is working.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 4.6, "im": 3.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Out of gas?! But how? I put a dollar in this morning and we've only driven 90 cents.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "You had to drive with the windows down, didn't ya, Rockefeller?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Let's see, B-12...", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "This counts as a parent-teacher conference!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Principal crossing Freewy - Expect delays", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "I couldn't get a hold of him. No cell phone. But if I know Bart, he's busy doing something awesome.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Because you love the taste of my imaginary tea.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Hey, Spaz! While you were here spazzing yourself, you totally missed out.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "What, do you think I'm crazy?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Your son is lamer than Milhouse. What does that say about you?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "As it is, I'm buying frozen peas on installments.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "And I'm never gonna go to Machu Picchu. In this family, you get used to disappointments.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Don't tell me where I go. A dollar? What for? It's the least I can do. These balls cost five dollars new.", "c": ["Rich golfer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "This is why my kids go to private school.", "c": ["Rich golfer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Weekends and summers, I'm Greenskeeper Willie.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Now I won't have to pleasure a country-club wife to get me steak dinner.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Hey, Leary, if you want to have a tea party, go back to Boston.", "c": ["Unknown golfer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "\"Ice Age\" was the name of the film. I played Diego, the vicious saber-toothed tiger, who, guess what, has a heart.", "c": ["Denis Leary"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "You can even watch commercials on it.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "I'm not supposed to look out the window when I'm alone.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "You want Denis Leary? Wrong number, dumb-ass.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "I just paid $5 million for the screen rights to the book Everybody Poops.", "c": ["Brian Grazer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Only one face came to mind for the constipated gorilla: yours.", "c": ["Brian Grazer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "I want to do my own poops.", "c": ["Denis Leary"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Boston comedian-turned-movie-star-turned-basic-cable-notable?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "I'm looking for Maya. Last name Normousbutt.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.57, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Better put it down then, mate.", "c": ["Australian patron"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Olaf Myfriendsaregay.", "c": ["German bartender"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "I will thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavor.", "c": ["German patron"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Oh, the sun never sets on the Bartish Empire.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Which one, the one that got canceled or the one that's gonna get canceled?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "escalation"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "I'm desperate for any signs of adult approval.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "No it's not. It's easy! I'll tell you what's hard: having to watch my stunt double run into a burning building, worrying that people might realize it's not me; it's him.", "c": ["Denis Leary"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "I know I said you couldn't have a cell phone, but, in these days of stranger dangers and sinister ministers...", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "in these days of stranger dangers and sinister ministers,", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Like a big-mouthed bass.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "That's a hard hat zone! You sure this is safe? Sure, I got my seat belt on.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Uh,... trying to do something constructive?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Hey, Bart just keeps spinning around and around and around. What's his angle?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Uh... we're doing laundry. Dad, do laundry.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Soon you'll be mine. Keep talking, creep-o. Every word buys you another year in the slammer.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Viagra at five dollars a pill? Whatever it is, it's goin' in Skinner's coffee.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "What is in this coffee?! Mm-hmm.", "c": ["Skinner", "Chalmers"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "He must be running away! Eh, he won't get far. Not on the crappy breakfast I made for him.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "First, I'm gonna take a bath. Then I'm gonna eat some vegetables and then I'm gonna get to bed nice and early, with no TV.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "My mom's gonna wake up soon. She gets upset if someone's not there to tell her where she is.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Listen Bart, if I don't get home soon, there won't be time for my mom to give me a hug, my dad to read me a story, and both of them to sing me a song until I gently fall asleep.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Real boogeyman weather.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "You've been flying south because you're migrating to... Machu Picchu, Peru!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Day is awesome! Night is scary. Day is awesome! Night is scary...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "That unpleasantness in Ecuador is behind us. My coca leaf addiction is under control.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Clearly the work of Wirakocha, the trickster god.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Our mothers were the most overprotective in the greater Machu Picchu metropolitan area.", "c": ["Incan Guide"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Those walls do look safe. Walls that keep out danger keep out knowledge.", "c": ["Marge", "Native guide"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "I didn't mean to. I'm just chatty. I sold my business a few years ago and I miss talking to people.", "c": ["Incan Guide"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "I didn't mean to. I'm just chatty. I sold my business a few years ago and I miss talking to people.", "c": ["Native guide"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "but all I see is a stupid bird with a tracking chip on its leg. It doesn't add up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Were you guys gone? I didn't even notice.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 2, "et": "Lost Verizon"}, {"t": "Stupid shopping list, turning food into work.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Look at me! I'm doin' something!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "You better settle down, boy, or I'll drag you into the blind spot of that security camera and beat you with one of those big thick women's magazines with all the ads in it!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "They say the last one is lucky! Unlike all the others.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Ponder this, Homer. This ticket would have been yours if your kid hadn't been screwin' around.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "You just cost me $200,000! - I thought it was 50. - I was gonna bet it on the dogs!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "All the groceries seem to have been balled up in anger.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "That kid has become a Dennis-level menace!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Lenny, Lenny, he's our guy! Got the ticket Homer didn't buy!", "c": ["Barflies"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "I don't want your pity booze. I'll pay for it myself. / Nope, Lucky Lenny's buying all the drinks tonight.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Don't waste your shot, Bart. You've got just enough cat pee to soak two dorks.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Uh... it was water this morning.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Ha ha! You feel self-conscious.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Well, Marge, you did have that one sip of alcohol while you were pregnant.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "They're not boogers! They're clumps of rubber cement. That I stored in my nose.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Stop it, both of you! Don't make me drive into that tree. You know I will!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.11, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "In the beginning, there was darkness, so God created man. But man was alone. God created the animals and birds. But man was still lonely. So God said, 'Let there be friends!'", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "These are going right on my mom's grave.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "These innocent robots couldn't have done this on their own. Someone would've had to turn them all on at once, and then imbue them with some kind of malevolent sentience.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Well, whoever did this must be long gone by now, Chief. I don't know how we'll ever catch him. / Kill! Kill! Kill! / Hold it right there, Bart!", "c": ["Lou", "Robot", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Bart make Bot bad!", "c": ["Robot"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "What? You can't take my Balderdash!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "I don't know why I do the things I do. No one understands me. I wish I had a different family. / I feel exactly the same way.", "c": ["Bart", "Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Terrific? Incredible? Happy as a clown? / Oh, yeah, I'm livin' the dream.", "c": ["Bart", "Simon"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Get out here, boy! I want to punish you before I get drunk and merciful! / Deal.", "c": ["Homer", "Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "There you are, Master Simon! / Thank you, uh, Lipizzaner.", "c": ["Chester", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "McMansion. McMansion. McMansion. McDonald's? McDreamy. McSteamy. McMansion. Fleetwood Mac, and Macauley Culkin.", "c": ["Driver"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "A candy corn volcano! A ceiling from Saddam's palace! Ooh, and a racecar bed. That really races!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "I'm the real deal. Every day I stand here the family donates a million dollars to Notre Dame. Did you know the words 'Notre Dame' are French, but the team is the Fighting Irish? That's the kind of thing I think about in here.", "c": ["Joe Montana"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "'Blocked Number'? That service is $3.65 a month.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "I made it with Cheetos, just like you like it. If the sauce is too thick, I can add more root beer.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Keep your meal in your mouth, you semiliterate spew-monkey.", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Keep your meal in your mouth, you semiliterate spew-monkey.", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "If that boy thinks I'm paying to put him through four years of puberty, forget it. I'm made of hormones.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "So I said, 'Dad, I wanted a Range Rover, not a Land Rover. This is the worst Martin Luther King Day ever.'", "c": ["Devon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "The old hot spoon. But why? / Because you're our half-brother, you're blocking our full inheritance and we hate you.", "c": ["Bart", "Devon/Quenly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "For your information, The Daily Growl is the only newspaper that's not afraid to say how great this country is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "For your information, The Daily Growl is the only newspaper that's not afraid to say how great this country is.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "How's the war going? We're winning? That's great. And our standing abroad? Fantastic.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "This is like a rap video before the rappers show up.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Fancy party. This is like a rap video before the rappers show up.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Do you know that after a hundred years dead bodies turn to red licorice? / Whoa-ho, let me at it.", "c": ["Devon", "Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "All they had was Sunnytime Pink. / Premix? / I beg your forgiveness, lad. Smithers, pour it down your pants.", "c": ["Smithers", "Simon", "Burns"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "My older brother was trampled by a horse. My sister died of a poisoned potato. My twin was shot. That girl was stabbed. He ate another poisoned potato. Spontaneous combustion. Fell down a well. Potato. Potato, and impaled on the Chrysler Building.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Why won't you come down? / I told you I only weigh as much as my clothes and keys.", "c": ["Simon", "Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "You were listening? That means I've got to come up with an ending for this nonsense.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "It was the war to end all wars, but Pepsi would not give up. They continued to challenge Coke.", "c": ["Grampa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Oh. The real Bart would have thrown me out the window. / He would have defenestrated you? / You're just digging yourself even deeper.", "c": ["Lisa", "Simon", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "You know, I have never packed before.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "You know, I have never packed before.", "c": ["Simon/Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Scrubbing you is easy 'cause you've been pre-rinsed. And when you're covered with goo, that's when I'm scrubbing you.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "So now Bart is on his way to Aspen, where they're going to try to kill him. / Thank you, future Bart, for traveling back through time to warn us.", "c": ["Simon", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Uh, we're champagnos. Who wants a mimosa?", "c": ["Wino"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Potato?", "c": ["Quenly"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Oh, come on, gravity. You used to be cool.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Take me with you. I'll be anything and everything you want. Don't leave me here with them!", "c": ["Simon"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 3, "et": "Double Double Boy In Trouble"}, {"t": "Hello, I'd like to vote for president, governor, and anything that will take money away from our parks and libraries.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Oh! I can't fit in the booth! Use the double-wide.", "c": ["Homer", "Poll Worker"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "One vote for McCain. No, I want to vote for Obama. Two votes for McCain. Come on. It's time for a change! Three votes for McCain. No! No! No! Six votes for McCain.", "c": ["Homer", "Voting Machine"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio! But not in America!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Montreal Expos jersey. Somber String. Jacks, no ball.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "And a Slunky ... 'IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Oh, I wouldn't give these to my worst enemy, ... which happens to be Lisa.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Girls don't like trucks! Come back when you're something else!", "c": ["Toy Truck"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Merry Christmas, Dad. We bought you three more minutes of oxygen.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "I don't know how you could top last year's gift: a box of your burps.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Snooze! Threeway! Melody!", "c": ["Transformers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. We're missing Sex-Toy.", "c": ["Transformer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Where have you been? Where haven't I been?", "c": ["Sex-Toy", "Other Transformer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Well, the toaster's never lied to me before.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Finally a boxing day that lives up to its name.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "It is a good planet to settle things on.", "c": ["Alien Robot"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.89, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Stop it! Stop it! Look, you have made the nacho machine cry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "That does not compute. Really?! It computes a little.", "c": ["Robot", "Homer", "Robot"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "You know I, I... I don't remember. Neither do I.", "c": ["Carnage Destructicus", "Bestimus Mucho"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "And now that we are not fighting each other, we can team up to enslave your planet. That's great! Because working together, you can ... Oh ...", "c": ["Robot", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Okay, who's the idiot who taught them what foosball was? I thought they might enjoy it.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Okay, Maggie, we'll be back in three hours. Or longer if something happens to us.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "CRAZY ETHEL'S DAY CARE CENTER where your child learns to trust strangers", "c": ["Signage"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Hey, hey, kids! Your old pal Krusty's gonna teach you five new words: Unlicensed use of my image.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Entertain the troops? No way! What have they ever done for me?!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Well ... I'm no drunk driving.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Oh, my God, you finally did it. You mixed Buzz Cola with the smooth, rich taste of lemon.", "c": ["Prince"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Sounds ... like ... quite ... a ... deal ... pilgrim! I hate ... trans ... action ... fees!", "c": ["John Wayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "That ad implies that Mr. Lincoln and I are... betraying familiarities!", "c": ["George Washington"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Put a sock in it, mushmouth!", "c": ["John Wayne"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Great party, Homer! Murdering Kate Winslet paid for that chocolate fountain.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Ah, you ripped me off. See? No, I didn't. See! You're gonna pay for what you done. See!", "c": ["Dead Gangster"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "I always thought I'd die of hepatitis ... C.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Rip Taylor? You're not even dead! Someone needs to check my apartment.", "c": ["Homer", "Rip Taylor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Well, your wife likes it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "It's a mix of voodoo and Methodist.", "c": ["Celebrity"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "What did you say, Mom? Nothing. I'm practicing my trombone.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "I believe in the Grand Pumpkin, almighty gourd, who was crustified over Pontius Pie-plate, and ascended into oven. He will come again to judge the filling and the bread ...", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "You are such a stupid moron! It makes people want to punch you! The Grand Pumpkin's superga-ay! Punch, punch, punch, punch, wedgie!", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "More Granny Smiths for me.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "You owe me restitution!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Oh, how delightful-- bread made especially for pumpkins. Actually, it's made from pumpkins.", "c": ["Grand Pumpkin", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "I'm gonna give you crossed eyes like you might see on an idiot, a stupid triangle nose and a big mouth full of the ugliest shaped teeth there are ... square.", "c": ["Grand Pumpkin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Oh, God! Everywhere I look-- pumpkin atrocities!! Care for a pumpkin seed? You roast the unborn?", "c": ["Grand Pumpkin", "Party-goer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "You roast the unborn?", "c": ["Grand Pumpkin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "You're a racist! All pumpkins are racist. The difference is I admit it!", "c": ["Lisa", "Grand Pumpkin"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "No. Who is he and what's his origin story?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Um ... well, Tom is a magical turkey who gave the pilgrims the technology to put buckles on their hats.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "A giant talking turkey? Preposterous!", "c": ["Grand Pumpkin"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "You eat turkeys?! Oh, yeah. It's delicious! Especially when we take stuffing and shove it up the turkey's ... Revenge!!!!", "c": ["Tom Turkey", "Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Looks like those kids found the true spirit of Halloween. Or Thanksgiving. Or whatever.", "c": ["Narrator/Character"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "And for those of you who feel like we've trampled on a beloved children's classic, I encourage you to write to the following address.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 4.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 4, "et": "Treehouse Of Horror Xix"}, {"t": "Where were you when you first heard this? I'll tell you where I was. I was out eating... I think I had kung pao... and I ended up on the... I can't listen to this anymore.", "c": ["Bill", "Marty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 5.31, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Nobody shuts out my blather!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "They don't look like the stabby kind.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "I said they were thrill-crazed drug-seekers. Don't put words in my mouth.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Were we ever that stupid? Of course we were.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "It's called 'biking out.' It's a combination of biking and making out.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Hop on in before you become a couple runneth over.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "And in that mud, I'm planting the seed of friendship.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "As the elephant said to the peanut vendor, toss those in my trunk.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Oh, he rhymes! Oh, happy day.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "I wish. We were bicycling to a lake.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Wordplay. Never cared for it.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "But it's never too soon for you two to join the 'I do' crew.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Since 2:00 this afternoon. Welcome to our honeymoon.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson, I would be delighted not to marry you.", "c": ["Young Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Then, I now pronounce us just dating.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "How dare you expose my children to your tender feelings.", "c": ["Angry parent"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "I'm cuckoo for killing stuff!", "c": ["Video game character"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Video games: the reason this generation of Americans is the best ever.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Not from the diving board.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Your neck looks like a sideways ass.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "That's the fuel gauge.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "I know, I was hoping the number might be zero.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "it's just past the sushi bar, behind the limbo pit, right in front of the blackjack table", "c": ["Party host"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "We have cubes of yellow, cubes of orange, and cubes of orange and yellow.", "c": ["Party host"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Doesn't seem like your kind of thing, Marge.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "No, I'm trying to get me drunk.", "c": ["Alberto"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "No, I'm talking to you at this great party.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Limbo? You mean the dance or that place where unbaptized babies go? Either way, I'm in.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "That's how low you can go!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "These fish died for nothing!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "She's gonna take him for a lot of money.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "A log cabin? What am I, Davy Crockett? Also, who's Davy Crockett?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "They're worse than walking.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "I'll steal it back when you're sleeping.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "when the sun goes down, it means God's gone to China to watch over those good folks", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "That's just your trouser devil talking. He's not talking. He's yelling.", "c": ["Ned", "Young Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Your dead grandmother's pajamas. You know what that does to me.", "c": ["Young Ned"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "He's that rare combination of up to something and good for nothing.", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "in a ruched burgundy bias-cut evening gown with a wolverine hem and a contrasting cerise tulle d\u00e9colletage", "c": ["Alberto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "That explains a lot.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "You didn't say a word for 45 minutes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Do you have a pineapple pizza? Pineapple and pepperoni.", "c": ["Sylvia", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "I see the word vacancy is lit, and the word no is not. Let us pray the no is not broken, huh?", "c": ["Alberto"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "First we make love, then we decide if it was a good idea. That's the European way.", "c": ["Alberto"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Homer, I can be whoever you want me to be.", "c": ["Sylvia"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Why do married women always have husbands?", "c": ["Alberto"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "I feel the same way about that lamp.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "but you're going in the box.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "No, but don't stop twisting.", "c": ["Alberto"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.39, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "We won! He's asleep! And we'll stay up forever!", "c": ["Kids"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "It was a tale of betrayal, redemption, and a lovely continental breakfast.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "You're just as bad as me! And you used to be better, so that makes you worse!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Anti-nuclear activist Dr. Helen Caldicott? Director Julie Taymor?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "So I don't have to come home to you!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "We grew up.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Yeah. I missed her, like, five times.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "What a charming single entendre.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Red Dog, this is Mustache One. We have possible male/female interaction.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Lock onto his wiener. We have wiener-lock.", "c": ["Ned", "Maude"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "like when I got that smart kid's report card by mistake, and for a minute, I thought I had all As, and that my name was Howard Simberg.", "c": ["Young Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Oh, I hate other people's love.", "c": ["Ned"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Oh, I hate other people's love.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "I'm getting out of this marriage while I'm still young and handsome.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "I couldn't even keep a promise I made to a tree.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Help! Fat man hanging from a tree!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "That's for fires.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "I know parts of our marriage are based on lies, but so are a lot of good things: religion, American history.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "If my theory of global cooling is correct.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Because he knows a shortcut that's not on the map.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 5, "et": "Dangerous Curves"}, {"t": "Buy a cup, or I punch my sister!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "It's true! He's not bluffing!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "What are we, a piano bar?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Lousy dog. If you had your way, I'd walk you every day.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Keep moving, deadbeat. Cash only.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Fine. Lemonade's for babies anyways. I'm going to Moe's, for beer!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Lisa, can Daddy borrow your bike?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "I understand. It can be very difficult for a woman to propose marriage.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "But I am willing to go halvsies on a ring.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Any of you lugs want to break up with my boyfriend for me? I'll buy you a beer.", "c": ["Edna"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "No kids tying you down or a crippling mortgage that you refinanced at 26% because a dancing Internet cowboy told you to.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Gee, compared to you, my life is one big half-day.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "and they were state runners up in 1997.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Oh, I'm afraid Lenny's dead. What? I just talked to him. And you will again, because he isn't really dead.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Great gig. It is a great gig.", "c": ["Homer", "Inspector"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "35 cents? Where did that come from? Can't be mine. Must be yours. I don't care if it's 45 cents, I don't want it.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Geez, I'm thirsty. You got any lemonade? Not anymore!", "c": ["Inspector", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Come on, come on. I was halfway through an operation when my license expired.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Excitement. Oh, wait, that don't fit.", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "I got it! 'Isaac Bashevis!'", "c": ["Clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Whoo, what is a four-letter word for 'hero'? 'Hero.' Yes, but I meant 'Lisa.'", "c": ["Homer", "Clerk"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "The gay guy? That's not all I am! Well, it's a lot of what I am.", "c": ["Grady"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Marge, I'm going to a hardcore gay club, and I won't be home till 3:00 in the morning! Have fun!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "You've gone completely fruit loops. 'Fruit Loops.' That's the answer to 38 down: 'Toucan's delight.'", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "No, I mean you're loco in the co. 'Cocoa': 'Ice rink drink.'", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "'Bart': 'San Francisco people mover.'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "In his what?", "c": ["Julio"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Another religion? You know, you're just gonna drop the whole thing when you go to college and get a Jewish boyfriend.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Back then, we called them Alphabet Hotels, 'cause every letter gets its own little room.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "'Will' and 'shorts'-- two things I'm no longer allowed to change by myself.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Who's driving the bus? What bus?", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Sweet Conclusions Breakup Service... thanks to our patented Tender Dump System.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "What in the blue blazes are you doing to my hopscotching grids?", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "You called? Made reference. My mistake.", "c": ["Skinner", "Willie"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "You called? You misheard. My mistake.", "c": ["Pool Boy", "Willie"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "We are the spirits of the relationships you killed.", "c": ["Ghost figures"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "We're the babies those couples would have had.", "c": ["Ghost babies"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "And we're the antiques those couples would have bought together.", "c": ["Ghost furniture"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Surely some holds are barred. No, none.", "c": ["Lisa", "Tournament Official"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "And parlay with the Asian kid. He has a name, you know. What is it? I don't know. He's not my kid.", "c": ["Homer", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Just be yourself. I want to change my bet. I'm going against my daughter.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 8.0, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "I'll take your money, but I won't look you in the eye.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "You know, my wife Shirley, she's the real crossword ace in our family. Fills in those letters fast as hail on a tin roof: ping-ping-ping, she's done.", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Hey, what can you do? Life keeps changing the music, but you gotta keep up the cha-cha-cha, huh?", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Hey, there are no lenses in these glasses.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Let's see, that's 'Enrico Fermi', and there you've got the 'Pet Shop Boys,' and cross the T and zing the Z and skit-skat skoodily I'm all the way home.", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Here's your money... drenched in your daughter's tears.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "You know, for a bartender-bookie, you're awfully judgmental.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "He bought new shoelaces with fancy metal tips.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "What's that, Mr. Teddy? You're saying that you know women, and that when women say they're not mad, they're madder than ever?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "From now on, I'm Lisa Bouvier!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "So the name 'Lisa Simpson' is available, huh? Lotta goodwill attached to that name. I gonna take it. Lisa's Tavern, Lisa speaking.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Back in high school, the boys used to call me Marge 'Boobier.'", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "What did you think her name was before it was Kennedy? Jackie 'O.' Like SpaghettiOs. I thought that was where her money came from.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "My innocence died in those 441 little boxes.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Diets! Oh, Will Shortz, you clever rascal.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "Diets! Oh, Will Shortz, you clever rascal.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "'Dumb Dad Sorry For His Bet.' Wow, it's almost as if Dad planted that message. No, it must just be a weird coincidence. But what if it's not? Oh, it must be. Or mustn't it not?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "New York Times Crossword Editor Will Shortz! And master puzzle constructor Merl Reagle!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "And I edited it. Now get back to crosswording!", "c": ["Will Shortz"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 6, "et": "Homer And Lisa Exchange Cross Words"}, {"t": "# Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree, # You're on the curb and dead now # Your Christmas lights are in the box. In two months we will change the clocks #", "c": ["Background singers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Gee, they sure give the Christmas spirit the bum's rush around here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "MEET MARTIN LUTHER KING - So, young man, have you judged people by the content of their character this year? - Yes, Reverend Doctor. - Lunchtime! - Free at last! Free at last!", "c": ["Mall MLK actor", "Kid"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I'm returning this kitten calendar. - Um, I'm also returning this kitten calendar. - Kitten calendar.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["running_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Hey, those are 15 month calendars! That gives you three extra kittens!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Man, those are ugly kittens!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "It's so sterile!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Operating System 4.2 has sloppier architecture than a Tijuana anthill. - Did you get peanut butter in your Ethernet port again? - No. I got mayonnaise in the CD drive.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Store employee"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "It's fueled by dreams and powered by imagination. - What does it do? - You should ask yourself, 'What can I do for it?'", "c": ["Store employee", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "But it's glowing. - That light confirms that it's off.", "c": ["Homer", "Store employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I can't afford any of your products but can I buy some fake white earbuds, so people will think I have a MyPod? - Sure, those are called 'MyPhonies.' - Oh, and they cost $40.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Store employee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I hate this MyPod! I can't watch movies on a screen this small. And the music today-- don't get me started!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I said, don't get me started!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Come on, isn't someone going to get me started?!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Uh, let's go, Teeny. Maybe somebody at Old Navy will get me started.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Thank the Jewish Clown Awards gift basket.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "And that announcement is... You're all losers!", "c": ["Steve Mobbs"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "You think you're cool because you buy a $500 phone with a picture of a fruit on it?! Well, guess what? They cost eight bucks to make and I pee on every one!", "c": ["Steve Mobbs"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I have made a fortune off you chumps and I've invested it all in Microsoft! Now my boyfriend, Bill Gates, and I kiss each other on a pile of your money!", "c": ["Steve Mobbs"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Traitor! Your heart is blacker than your turtleneck!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Stupid angry mob, chasing me because I shine a harsh light on modern society. Now I know how Dane Cook feels.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Mmm, what's that exotic aroma? It smells like a hamburger cooked at a rug store.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Whoa! All these years I've been petting lambs when I should've been shoving them in my mouth!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Jordan. That's on some map somewhere, right?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Bashir, you didn't tell me you had a sister.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Hey, I never refuse food from strangers.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Ah, that's not clever! And I have so many aspects you can mock! I'm poor, I'm dirty, I can't read or write, I think movies are real!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "coleslaw, tuna, all chowders and gumbos. The only thing that's safe is the pork chops. - My religion says I can never eat pork.", "c": ["Bart", "Bashir"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "A different religion?! Do not tell anyone that because if the bullies around here find out that you're different...", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "'Bash here'? I love a kid that comes with directions.", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I'm going to punch you extra hard 'cause I secretly think you're cute.", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "You're the reason I can't carry toothpaste on an airplane!", "c": ["Jimbo"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Jimbo, you're Christian, Dolph, you're Jewish, and, Kearney, your family's in that cult Moe started. - I had to join. My mom's doing the savior. - I mean, the one true Moe.", "c": ["Bart", "Kearney"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Help me, almighty Moe! - Can't. I'm not really a god. I was just acting crazy to get out of jury duty.", "c": ["Kearney", "Moe"], "jt": ["callback", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Look at Lisa Simpson, over there by herself. Not talking to us, her best friends! Do we hate her? YES!", "c": ["Girl 1"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Check out 'Moon Dreams' from Miles Davis' 'Birth of the cool'.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "DIEPOD SLAYLIST", "c": ["Visual gag"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Marge, I installed all the low-energy bulbs. What have you done with the old ones? - Disposed of them in an environmentally friendly manner.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Salaam alaikum! - Salaam alaikum! - Milhouse is looking good! He's got contacts, changed color, got a cool new catchphrase.", "c": ["Bashir", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Sir? That's the kind of respect you'd have to strangle out of an American kid.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "You know, Bart never told me he had a handsome teenage brother. - Oh, uh, I'm really 38. - 38 waist I might believe.", "c": ["Homer", "Bashir's father"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Hey, Bashir's great. If Derek Jeter married Mariah Carey-- wouldn't last but I bet they'd have a kid like him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Homer, this is serious. This Bashir kid is Muslim, and therefore up to something.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 5.85, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't believe that till I see a fictional TV program espousing your point of view.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "For the last time, Fayed, where did you hide the nerve gas?! - Under your Statue of Liberty's dress! - And she loved it!", "c": ["TV Show"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "That's pretty patriotic, but I got a better idea. Invite 'em over. A little dinner, a little dessert, and then you Jack Bauer 'em into giving you all their secrets.", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Ah, interesting. Why, just the other day, I was reading that science is used to make bombs.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "What's the matter? Don't like the taste of freedom?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Don't fear them just because they have a different religion, a different culture, and their last name is Bin Laden.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Young man, you do not respect us by disrespecting your father. - I like the way you Italians think.", "c": ["Bashir's father", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. It's just so fun and easy to judge people based on religion.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "But we're the more powerful country for a few more years.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I am sorry I suspected you of being soulless murders of innocent children.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Dynamite? They are terrorists. Must leave quietly.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Marge! I was right! Everybody is whatever I think they are.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Hi, Homer! - You rubbed? You must like me. You really, really like me.", "c": ["Genie", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Good morning, Ramadan! Come to Crazy Fayeddie's! Our prices are Hussein!", "c": ["Genie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I got to prove the genie was right. - Off to work. - Sometimes I wish you would quit that awful business. - But I love blowing up buildings.", "c": ["Homer", "Bashir's father", "Bashir's mother"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Safely and legally, in order to make room for new buildings. - Darling, I think you are working much too hard. - Yes, I am killing myself, but it is all for the profit, and after the explosion, I will be in a better place. - That corner office with the downtown view.", "c": ["Bashir's father", "Bashir's mother"], "jt": ["escalation", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I want to apologize for being such a jerk at dinner, and I thought the best way to do that would be to come to your house and poke around.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I read somewhere your people are hospitable to guests. Is that true? - Yes. - Praise be Oliver. - That's Allah. - Yeah... we'll look it up in the Corona.", "c": ["Homer", "Bashir's father"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Ooh, here comes the ambulance. - My, you're a handsome fellow. - Just get in the ambulance, Mr. Simpson. We'll see to your finger.", "c": ["Homer", "Paramedic"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.76, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Boy, don't blow up this mall. It has the cookie store that gives free samples.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Did you factor in one bald idiot?", "c": ["Bashir's father"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Did we really need a bridge there? - The Duff brewery is on that island.", "c": ["Bashir", "Bart"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "PARDON MY INTOLERANCE - That banner has really paid for itself over the years.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "She said something about 'the bottom of the ocean' and 'be back in a month.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "The cost of this journey will be added to your bill.", "c": ["Mapple guide"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "I'm sorry. I know our posters say 'Think differently,' but our real slogan is 'No refunds.'", "c": ["Steve Mobbs"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 7, "et": "Mypods And Boomsticks"}, {"t": "Food fight! Take that, Ted Turner. In your face, founder of Facebook.", "c": ["Billionaires"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Skinny-dip! Yay! Yee-haw!", "c": ["Billionaires"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Men. The room for me.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Kearney, can you read it back? [Extended recursive reading]", "c": ["Jimbo", "Kearney", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "a dare has been placed on your nards. My nards accept.", "c": ["Jimbo", "Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Kearney reading back the entire conversation verbatim including dialogue tags", "c": ["Kearney", "Jimbo", "Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Stingamajigs!", "c": ["Second graders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Other than the birth of my kid, this is my happiest moment.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "from Glasgow clear to Edinburgh", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Willie, I didn't know you were an apiarist. From context, I can tell that means beekeeper.", "c": ["Lisa", "Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "'Tis a tragedy, Lisa. No man should outlive his bees.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "They're stinging God now.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Jeff Bezos wet his pants! I did not. That was apple juice from before.", "c": ["Burns", "Jeff Bezos"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Bets don't talk. They see and raise.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.99, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Well, if we're betting people, I got a whole herd of them.", "c": ["Mark Cuban"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Don't let the forwards mix with the guards. And if they're acting sluggish, slip some steroids into their cocaine.", "c": ["Mark Cuban"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Ooh, now who will sting me and walk all over my sandwiches?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Flowers: the painted whores of the plant world.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Synthetic honey. Just like you remember.", "c": ["TV Commercial"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "D'oh! I never dreamed the future could be scary.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Let's go, Lisa. We've got some worms to save. Bees. Worms, bees, ticks, fleas. Let's go, go, go!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "That's Associate Professor Aaron Ableman. How I hate him.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Thundering thorax, it's just exactly what I feared!", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Animals can get sick? I'm going to talk to the girl from now on.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Marry me, and I'll support you for life. You're not a bee! This thing is useless.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Hold still, sweetie. Daddy will kill it. And this time, no screwups.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Yeah, much like that.", "c": ["Professor Frink"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "How long is that? Long enough that you will be known as Springfield's crazy bee girl.", "c": ["Lisa", "Professor Frink"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Never being a grandmother. Really? I thought it was Lisa with a beard of bees.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "callback"], "cr": 7.72, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "President Lincoln! You've come back, and you got rid of that hat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Stop Milhousing your sister.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "All it takes is one troubled loner.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Smithers, we're leading two to nothing. Run out the clock, boys. Run out the clock.", "c": ["Burns", "Smithers"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Big three in the Big D for the Big C. Mark Cuban... that's me.", "c": ["Mark Cuban"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "I'm out of my mind! His money seems to have bought him happiness.", "c": ["Mark Cuban", "Burns"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Fun? Is that how it's pronounced? I've only seen it written.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 8.46, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "No one's paid attention to me for ten whole seconds.", "c": ["Mark Cuban"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "You know, the feathers with the big eye that trick them into thinking that's my front? Said feathers are what I'll flaunt.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "The secret is not to swallow the stingers.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "They're just drones, Lisa. They only live for, like, five minutes anyway. And they only have haploid cells, not diploid like me and Bart.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "They only have haploid cells, not diploid like me and Bart.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Which used to be a beautiful, thriving greenhouse till I was hired to run it.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Plus, there are flowers, and it's near a prison, so they'll have a place to sting people.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "You'll always have Bart. Always. But he'll be gone a lot repairing refrigerators. Always.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "You've seen him on the cover of the December 1943 issue of Collier's Magazine.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Springfield Excitement", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "My country 'tis of thee, Austria, Hungary, Obey your king...", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "The European Union?! Good heavens! Ladies, hold onto your husbands!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Back to your brothel, harlots!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Sir, were those real bullets? Yes. Was that a real gorilla? No. I see.", "c": ["Smithers", "Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 8.12, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Time to think outside the boxeola.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "That's it, men. Pave and tar the way God intended.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Kill his acorns and make him watch.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "visual_gag"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "I don't know who that guy was you were leaving your kids with.", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "The feisty pig of the desert? Apparently not feisty enough.", "c": ["Lisa", "Town Hall crowd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Muk Mu, the human North Pole.", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "No, I'm afraid he'll be on the first kayak back to Ketchikan.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Please, don't take our freak! I love you, Muk Mu!", "c": ["Springfield crowd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "I saw this ad in a gentleman's magazine for excited African honeys, and that's what they sent me.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "And she's ready for a night of anonymous sex with multiple partners.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Now, let's give them some privacy while they... get down to buzziness.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "If they was me, they'd be done by now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "I've never seen you walk up an incline before.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Your bees died days ago. These are their angry, mutant descendants.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Are you guys dangerous? Ooh!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Are you guys dangerous? Ooh! A simple yes would have sufficed.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "To that new stadium that looks exactly like a hive.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Stop! I am one of you!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "My microphone is no microphone at all. It's bees! Am I being badly stung? Yes! And it hurts!", "c": ["Sports announcer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Our bullets are useless. Aah! Okay, they're useful on me.", "c": ["Police officer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "when next we meet, the beekeeper will be the beekeepee!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "He's not a billionaire at all! Wait, wait, wait. It's only a matter of four million. I'm sure I can find that somewhere.", "c": ["Billionaires", "Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "No! No! Just kill me now!", "c": ["Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Howdy do? I own a minor league hockey team.", "c": ["Millionaire"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 8, "et": "The Burns And The Bees"}, {"t": "Worst couch gag ever~", "c": ["unknown narrator/viewer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "You're older. Why don't you do these fun activities? Uh, cause no one's making me.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Ten thousand years of knowledge will be passed on to those whose parents have signed the permission slip. Rest of you have just purchased very expensive pajamas.", "c": ["Kung Fu instructor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Pardon me, master. But what does a big fat wad like you know about Kungfu?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Kungfu is not about phisique. But the channelling of ones energy or Qi. If you doubt my skill, please feel free to attack at my signal.", "c": ["Kung Fu instructor"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Ooh! My Qi!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Do we have any more paints? My orange isn't the orange of that orange.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Just paint the damn fruit. Lower your expectation, Lisa.", "c": ["Art instructor"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "I was painting with my heart. And if you look carefully, you can see that the knight is Josh Groban, our young centry's greatest vocalist.", "c": ["Juliet"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Oh! Another Grobanite.", "c": ["Art instructor"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "I do not need this! My family owns a gas station.", "c": ["Art instructor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "What are you staring at? Everyone paint me 20 laps.", "c": ["Art instructor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "I need some candy for our first play date, but I don't wanna come on too strong. M&Ms? Well, if i pick plain, she'll think I'm cheap. But if I pick peanut, she may have an allergy. You just killed her, Bart!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "You asked for my help, then you don't want it. Excuse me, but why not consider a Norman Joy? It looks like you only bought something for yourself. But then you just have fun to have two pieces.", "c": ["Bart", "Store clerk"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Finally, a real suggestion. If she doesn't like coconut, you're screwed!", "c": ["Lisa", "Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Hi, juliet. -So what do you want to do? I don't know. It's been so long since i've had a play date. Not that i couldn't get one if i wanted, I...", "c": ["Lisa", "Juliet"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "My parents bought me a membership card to the fake art museum. Does it get you into special exhibits? On Wednesdays. -That's today!", "c": ["Lisa", "Juliet"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Won't last.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "We could be murderers. -Could have been if we hadn't had kids.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Told you, Marge. Told ya!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Equalia~where everyone is equal, but we're in charge. I mean somebody has to be, right?", "c": ["Lisa", "Juliet"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Lisa, do you want to be best friends? Gosh, this is all happening so fast, I don't know what to say. Say yes! Say yes!", "c": ["Juliet", "Lisa"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "You heard me say that, didn't you? -I did. We're still cool, alright? -We are. My best friend is so cool.", "c": ["Lisa", "Juliet"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Friendship is like marriage. The key is listening. Also, if her dog bites you... don't make a big deal out of it. -I just said that. Ok, honey. If it is that important to you, you said it.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "A twonicorn~", "c": ["Juliet"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Girls are so lame. Isn't that right, headless starvader? What's that? You missed your girl friend armless Malibu Stacey wrapped in hockey tape?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Use as many big words as possible. I call computer. Bart, you can have doorbell.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Nice doorbell, is it computerized? Hey, that wha... Homer. -Uh..Uh...we...I You come up with an excuse.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Huh huh...if you say so my lord.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "If you show me to your bath room, I'd like to pretend to wash my hands.", "c": ["Juliet's father"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "When they make a movie for this book, does *** free tickets?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "I hate track three. I hate it! I hate it!(sobbing)", "c": ["Juliet"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Mmm, that's chewing gum.", "c": ["Juliet's father"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "What a racket!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "I'm a giraffopus, I'm uncomfortable in water and on land.", "c": ["Fantasy character/Juliet's imagination"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Mom, please don't do that. Who is this mom of which you speak? Mom, stop! This is our thing, not yours. Um, I'm just trying to... It's better if you don't.", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge", "Juliet"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "I search all the children's facebook pages for unflattering references to me.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "By the way, I enjoy the photos of your trip to your sanity. Huh huh that. We were actually just going out for brunch and I get lost.", "c": ["Skinner", "Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "I'm Bart Simpson's mother. You think you've got any tricks I haven't seen?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "I'd love to! Oh, but I'm supposed to attend the model UN this weekend. I'm the delegate from Azerbaijan, and I'm threatening a rice tariff.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Name. -Dr. William McDougle. From now on, you're ground keeper Willy. Next.", "c": ["Communist/equality officer", "Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "I wonder if Lisa has threaten the model UN with the rice tariff yet. I doubt it. Friday is usually just comedy assignments and procedure old rules.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Total chaos. We're two minutes away from a roll call vote on the nonbinding resolution, and no Azerbaijan!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "To the extent you can trust the word of a Belgian, yes!", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "What about a jacket and jeans with a nice T-shirt? Just go!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "You know what I think killed this place. No one wanted to drive to the middle of the forest for clams.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "This place is where we came after my bar mitzvah. You said you weren't having one. Uh, it was just family.", "c": ["Dolph", "Jimbo"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "At least my dad didn't smoke after his stroke.", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "I like those ones. Tell me about those.", "c": ["Bully"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "An ambitious first novel by the two brightest young writers this side of the Iowa workshop. I bet it'll burn up good!", "c": ["Dolph"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Re-jected!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "You and your friend, princess nutjob inspired me to write my own fantasy novel based on my experiences as a dad.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "Oh~Writing is hard!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 9, "et": "Lisa The Drama Queen"}, {"t": "legendary 20% tipper... (crowd gasps)", "c": ["Announcer", "Crowd"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "You're better than us!", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Sunday's the Lord's day, boy, not God's. Completely different guy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "A simpler time when the only thing we worried about was total nuclear annihilation.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Please hold your applause forever.", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "I spent all night working on that speech, but now I realize the best thing to do is speak from my heart... Um, um, 'Webster's defines--' Um, 'In the words of Ted Nugent--'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "I've never heard a speech so bad. Ten days detention!", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Anyone who votes for Vance gets a half-day tomorrow. Mm, half-day, eh?", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Uh, there they are, my favorite mixed-race couple.", "c": ["Vance Connor"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Behind this smile is a bigger smile trying to get out. Oh, oh, here it comes! Oh, yeah.", "c": ["Vance Connor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "No, actually they're like two leather clouds.", "c": ["Vance Connor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Like Vance, it is smooth, cool and oh, so sophisticated.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "He gave me one of his kidneys. Yeah, me, too.", "c": ["Lenny", "Carl"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "About how we give each other haircuts? No, we'll take that secret to our graves.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Okay, but screw this up, and it's Carnegie-Mellon University for the both of you!", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Homer, I had a presidential election stolen from me. But I moved on, and I think you could say everything worked out all right. Isn't that right, Alfred? (speaking in a falsetto, as Alfred Nobel): It sure is, Albert.", "c": ["Al Gore"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "California casual or business attire? California casual. (gulps)", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "The ballot box?! No, this is the box that tells us where the ballot box is.", "c": ["Homer", "Lenny"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "What will this box reveal? And what will I use this box for afterwards? Mismatched bolts and nuts? Recipes? I may never know.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson. Woo-hoo! Vance Connor. D'oh! Please stop doing that. 'D'oh!' or 'woo-hoo!'? Both.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "running_gag"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Marge, I still would be married to you, but you would just be hotter.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "And the taking of a life is murder. And the punishment for murder is-- well, it varies from state to state and by race.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "And tell him I know what he did last summer... 22 years ago... in the winter!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "No other foursome would have me. My legs gross people out.", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Yes! I want him to know that if your life doesn't turn out the way you want there's someone else to blame! Oh, I already knew that, Dad. I'm going to blame you.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Virgin? What are you, a girl?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 4.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Hey, what if we got everyone to vote for him, as a joke, and he won? Then we could laugh at him all the way through high school and at every reunion.", "c": ["Unknown students"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "You denied me my dream, so I'm angry. But you did it out of kindness, so I'm grateful. I'm filled with respect and contempt for you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "I would steal school chalk for my home chalkboard.", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "The brown-haired girl gave me a look. The redhead in the park was reading a book. The girl at the airport upgraded my car. Tonight I wonder just where you are.", "c": ["Principal Dondelinger"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Yeah, I can actually see your hands. They're not just a blur.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Oh, you could know... if you dared. In the kitchen is a man from the old country who works for me. He stirs the sauce-a.", "c": ["Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Also, as a vegetarian, I hope there's not meat in that sauce. Any other orders, Mussolini?", "c": ["Lisa", "Luigi"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Our president's a real loser! Yeah. A loser... like us! He proves you don't have to be popular to have everyone like you!", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Hey, everyone! The stupid fat man is talking to garlic bread!", "c": ["Restaurant patron"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "'Color My World,' 'Disco Sucks' and Butthead the Goat.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "They're too big to fail.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Forget it, Marge. A girl like you could never land a Homer Simpson.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Nobody's ever asked me to use my head-brain before!", "c": ["Debbie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "I was going to let you get to fifth base. It would've been something you told your grandchildren about.", "c": ["Debbie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Marge, the way I feel about you is as real and lasting as my hairline.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "I don't know, but in this reality, I am not gay!", "c": ["Patty or Selma"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "7-G? Let the Lennys and the Carls of the world waste their wretched lives in that testicle-shriveling torture chamber. Son, you'll be working in... Sector 6-F!", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't complain and I never do!", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't complain and I never do! Thanks for letting me live in your guest house.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "You used protection. We never had any.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "If you could live in the sauce, don't you think I would live in the sauce? Stupid-o!", "c": ["sauce stirrer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "If you could live in the sauce, don't you think I would live in the sauce? Stupid-o!", "c": ["Luigi's worker"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Are you kidding? We couldn't even convince you that Bruce Wayne is Batman.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.79, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "He's too busy socializing at cocktail parties and managing the affairs of the Wayne foundation.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Why does he think Alfred's friends with Batman?", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "It's like bringing Richard Nixon to the Watergate. Or Kevin Costner to Waterworld.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Well, we can't all be Homer Simpson, son.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 10, "et": "Take My Life Please"}, {"t": "Three, two, one. Happy new year! Of school!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "You're the government's problem now!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Free at last. Free at last.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "I never learned anything at that suckshack. Who taught you that language? Kid at school. So you did learn something.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Insurance is the greatest deal ever. If I get hurt, I get paid. And man, do I get hurt.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Where my Dils at?", "c": ["Mr. Becker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "I never tire of that.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "He stinks! We're assessing you, not him. Withdrawn.", "c": ["Student", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "No Child Left Alone act", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Cut the horse bull Seymour!", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Your scores on this test will determine how much money this suckshack gets", "c": ["Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Accaca-Dabacca-Accacaca", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Biggest city in Montana? Helena? Wrong!", "c": ["Teacher", "Student"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "You can't teach this way! Yes, I can! Pretty sure this works! Where are these studies conducted? Ball State.", "c": ["Teacher", "Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "What kind of pencil do we take again? Number two, take a number two. Looks like you took a big number two.", "c": ["Student", "Teacher"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.0, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Yes, quite so. As you can see, I'm holding a big number two in my hands, enjoying the weight and feel of it.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Now I can show-off on the federal level!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Slurt my snot. I wrote 'slurt my snot' in the ovals on the answer sheet. True story.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Oh no, now who will sell oranges on the off-ramp?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Oh no, now who will sell oranges on the off-ramp?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Great jokes make me hungry. I wonder what's in the pantry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "I warned you. You got a perfect score.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Several? That's more than a few, and almost a bunch!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. This ain't no genius-copter. This is con-air!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Brilliant plan to remove all the underperformers for test day, sir. Yes. All of them.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Superintendent Chalmers"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Can't believe it. Superintendent Chalmers betrayed me. After all the wrapping paper I bought from his daughter.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "We're hiding you in capital city for the day so your numbskullary won't drag down the test scores of the children who are our future.", "c": ["Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Will there be other numbskulls there? Sort of a numbskull Olympics as it were? Let's all act stupid!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "This was due two weeks ago! I'm uninsured!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "For the first time in my life, I'm financially responsible for my own actions!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "I'm not in good hands. I'm in no hands! Like a bad neighbor, no one is there!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Imagine each question is a baby chick. If you answer wrong, the chick dies. Shut up, they would've died anyway.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Student"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "What? They're all equally valid. That can't be! In life, everything only has one answer!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Piece of cake, huh? Ah, I'm writing on my shirt!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "You're stuck babysitting us losers, which makes you the real loser.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "I am a successful principal who paints houses in the summertime. You painted our garage and it was peeling by October! Your dad insisted I use an inferior primer.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Sorry. I was mesmerized by the little boy's dance.", "c": ["Otto"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "I finished before we came in.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Oh, God. We're at the corner of Cesar Chavez Way and Martin Luther King Boulevard. \u00a1Ay, caramba!", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "You mean back to the poor house. Fine, back.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "You mean back to the poor house. Fine, back.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Book club? That's the most stupid boring thing ever! Oh, thank you.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "I've been cleaved!", "c": ["Book club member"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Lisa, like Captain Kirk, I'm not supposed to interfere. But like TJ Hooker, I say what's on my mind.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Get down on your knees, pray to your God, and ask him-- no demand he tell you the answer. And if he won't, he is no God of yours!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Sure thing, Such.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Why do terrible things always happen to wonderful people at 3:01 P.M. Which, for the record, is the correct time.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "At this point in a marriage, a wife should know what her husband can do and what he can't. Who was I to think you can mail an envelope?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Baby, I hope you've got snuggle insurance... 'cos I'm about to file a claim.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "You like all boys? Shut up! A child is in danger under my aegis!", "c": ["Student", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "I'm using the principal of conservation of angular momentum to turn the container!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "That's the kind of stuff they should teach in school! We do teach it in school. You're too busy eating sugar snacks and horsing around!", "c": ["Student", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Learning can teach you things. Education rules.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "By seeing their principal run around on top of a shipping container.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Drop that number two. Yes, I know what that means.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Hurray! I'm a brainy outcast again!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 11, "et": "How The Test Was Won"}, {"t": "Boy, where are my Zydeco records? There's twelve more boxes, and they all sound the same!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "What about my birthday party? This counts as that.", "c": ["Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Super Jet Dinosaur Fun Monkeys", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.64, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Just so you know, some of them act like they hate America. But what they really hate are Americans.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "It's my wife! Everyone, pretend this is a trade seminar in Z\u00fcrich.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Can't talk now, dear. It's four in the morning here in Z\u00fcrich. Oh, right. We came together.", "c": ["Kirk Van Houten"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Here you go! Eat my food! Drink up my drink! Put your coat on my daughter's bed! I command you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "As the worm said to the plate of spaghetti, 'I...'", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Listen, we're having a party... I noticed. So anyway, if you're not doing anything, and it looks like you are, you're welcome to stop by. Or not.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Man, you really are into me, huh? What am I? Some kind of talking dog?", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "It's Ash Wednesday, everybody! Sit down your gins, and confess your sins.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Because I have this magical thing called a home equity loan. I borrow all the money I want, and the house gets stuck with the bill. Sucker!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Fine, Mr. Skeptical. Give me back your beads. But, but, but... Beads, please.", "c": ["Homer", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Marge, don't worry. It's like when we stopped paying the phone bill. They stopped calling us. In fact, everyone did.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "That number's so big, it has a comma!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Listen, you! When you gave me that money, you said I wouldn't have to repay it 'til the future! This isn't the future! It's the lousy stinking now!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Hell, we fired our CEO, and he barely got out with fifty million dollars. That poor man! Is he okay? As okay as you can be in the north of France.", "c": ["Mortgage broker", "Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Come on, Marge. You got the sun, you got hobo fire. I can't do all the work for you.", "c": ["Mortgage broker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Hey, our old pair has to live somewhere. This crap shack makes your guest room look like winter palace.", "c": ["Patty and Selma"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Don't worry, honey. We'll come out ahead. I ripped all the copper wire out of the walls. Did you remember to disconnect it first? Did I what now?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "The kid's height. Homer's weight.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Anybody ever get murdered in this house? No. Thank you for your time.", "c": ["Potential buyer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "I need a place to store my cufflinks.", "c": ["Rich bidder"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Pass. I've already lifted this thing up once today. I'm not Hercules.", "c": ["Rich bidder"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "What is this, Randomly Tossing Your Paddle Day?", "c": ["Auctioneer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Ocean said to the dirt, 'I appreciate the sediment.'", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Better let me go first. I left a little... surprise upstairs for the new owner.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Evil triumphs again.", "c": ["Maggie"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Hot comes out of hot! It's like I'm dreaming!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Next problem.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "It's irresistible! You ask him to do something and he does it. He's like a genie!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Our house is up to code.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "You lounge around in your Egg McMansions, and we never see you unless the rent check's late.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "You better just pray I don't find out where you live!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "If I was Marge's landlord, I'd fix up pipes, and I'd shower with flowers, and take her on a romantic getaway to the south seas, and I'd never return.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "If I was Marge's landlord, I'd fix up pipes, and I'd shower with flowers, and take her on a romantic getaway to the south seas, and I'd never return.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "We live in a house that is trying to kill us.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Who is this Dad you speak of, Lisa Simpson? You want a cookie, Dad? Yes.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "I died when Homer sat on me. Why you little-- I'm the victim here.", "c": ["Couch", "Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Kadiddlehopper. It's not funny, that's how I swear!", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "We won't do it! Your leaving is our Christmas!", "c": ["Neighbors"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "It is me, Jesus. I have come from my workshop in the North Pole to say, Don't evict the Simpsons.", "c": ["Bart as Jesus"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Finally, a practical use for my father.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Whee. I'm gonna live like a human in a real house! What's the catch? I'm using you. For what? My own devices. All right.", "c": ["Grampa", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Yeah, without the sun, my hair's reverting to its natural red! I don't wanna be called rusty again.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Family outing? I'll start. Lisa's gay!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Right. 'Cos I wouldn't wanna be gay like my heroes Billie Jean King, Susan Sontag, Sappho of Lesbos, and, I suspect, Peppermint Patty.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Now when I've got a downhill lie, I'd like to swing wide. Just like Patton did when he swung past Kesselring's boys in the Ardennes Forest.", "c": ["Dwight Eisenhower"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "I know it seems that way because I'm such a vivid storyteller.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Because your father lives with me now. Flanders feeds me people food.", "c": ["Ned", "Grampa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "The clothes they give us are the clothes we gave to charity last year.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Excellent credit, Christian, but not Baptist.", "c": ["Real estate agent"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Excellent credit, Christian, but not Baptist.", "c": ["Landlord"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "Whacha got there, Woofy Goldberg?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 4.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "You can't be a saint unless you live among the lepers.", "c": ["Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "It's okay if you backslide a little. Never. Hurray for stupid Flanders!", "c": ["Ned", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "I really hate this neighborhood.", "c": ["New potential tenant"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 12, "et": "No Loan Again Naturally"}, {"t": "A solar eclipse is like a woman breast-feeding in a restaurant. It's free, it's beautiful, but under no circumstances should you look at it.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "This was supposed to be pre-made. Fine, I'll do it myself. Where is the end of the friggin' tape? Forget it! We'll do it next week! The eclipse is today. There's an eclipse when I say there's an eclipse!", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Hit the road, you big load!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "There'll be another one in North Yemen in 2027.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "I finally feel like part of a family.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Just one little peek. It's beautiful.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Don't worry, honey. I'll be your seeing-eye Homer. We're in some kind of doctor room, bunch of stuff on the walls. It's kinda hard to describe. I'm gonna take my break now.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Any stress could increase the blood pressure in Marge's eyeballs, leading to what we call Tex Avery Syndrome.", "c": ["Dr. Hibbert"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Wolves are taking all our women!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "You guys have treated me like a princess! Everyday's been like the first ten minutes of Mother's Day.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Is there any other way to enter a kitchen?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Rats in the kitchen! Just like that delightful movie I taped in the theatre.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "He's controlling me with my hair! Using me to cook a delicious sole meuni\u00e8re with a celery root pur\u00e9e, And carrots vichy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "This is good. Good, but not great.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Here you go. This'll kill those dirty rats, and the clean ones, too.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "What is it with kids and candy-colored poison, huh?", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Not in front of the poison man.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Why did I bring the baby and the dog to the poison store?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "I can't leave the baby alone with the poison, and I can't leave the dog alone with the baby.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Can't someone help me with this puzzle?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Professor Frink, help me figure this out!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Great time to nap, Einstein!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Were you listening at all?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Sir, I'd be obliged to you if you'd help me puzzle out my fox, duck and corn situation.", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Well, the puzzle done puzzled itself out.", "c": ["Old Man"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "And I'll be watching you too in case God's busy making tornadoes or not existing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Catholics!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "'Cos she was fighting my dog, and stealing my poison.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Now give her back so I can take her home to my rat-infested house!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "I'm married to Jesus! Yeah, right. And I'm married to Wonder Woman!", "c": ["Sister", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "There is no way Homer Simpson's gonna put on a dress, and act like a nun.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Told you there was no way I would do it. Are you sure you don't want me to do it? 'Cos I can do it. I got the outfit right here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Hello. I'm a poor little sinner who's lost her way. May I join your order?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Not like Sister Marilyn.", "c": ["Mother Superior"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "If you're happy and you know it That's a sin", "c": ["Nuns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Well next week's nine months after the prom. They'll be stacked up to the ceiling.", "c": ["Mother Superior"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Well, more of a Curious George.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Well, little monkey, it's time for you to spend some time with the man in the yellow hat.", "c": ["Mother Superior"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Because I'm sick of that Mother Superior. Whenever we play football, she has to be quarterback.", "c": ["Sister"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "And before you decide to become a nun, consider this: I am only 23!", "c": ["Sister"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "That's Latin! Deum is God. And of course quaerite means seek.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Mommy's little baby is getting big and chubby. Who's a chubby baby?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Cool it, she's getting suspicious. You cool it! I'm hungry!", "c": ["Bart", "Santa's Little Helper"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "What if I read every other word? 'One more time. Your hopeless. Try again. Numb skull!'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "That's not very nice. I will try again, but not because the wall told me to.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "No. I'm not a smart nerd. I'm just a weak nerd.", "c": ["Martin"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Because we do our sleuthing in Mother's Nissan Quest minivan.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "staged a phoney War of Independence to cover their search for the gem.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Four of which I own.", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Well, well. If it isn't the Tardy Boys and Nancy Clueless.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "That's my eyeball on the dollar bill. That's also my pyramid.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "I keep telling you I'm not an albino! I just use a lot of sun block.", "c": ["Smithers"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Then why do I give you all the albino holidays off?", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Superman, I have believed in you for years. If you can hear me now, please come help me dig this giant grave.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.8, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "So, the gem is inside you?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Does kissing Milhouse count? No.", "c": ["Lisa", "Burns"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "How brilliant of God to remove my scepticism by making me his chosen one!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "I don't really want you people inside, but you could dangle from the skids.", "c": ["Mr. Burns"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Oh, fine, fine. Finish your song. I can be patient. After all, I am the gem child.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Oh, please. How many sentences start with the word regally?", "c": ["Mother Superior"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "This one?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.87, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "It's really Maggie, Sherlock.", "c": ["Mother Superior"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "You know, I have to point out that this only makes sense if I get the wrong answer first.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Just set it to 'massage'.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Just set it to 'massage'.", "c": ["Unknown character"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Again.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "Step aside, ladies. I'm bringing the peace.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "I'm so staying up pass my bedtime.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 13, "et": "Gone Maggie Gone"}, {"t": "A home and garden show? Mom, you said we were going to a video game expo! / You told me we were gonna pick up trash by the freeway!", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "You told me something, but I wasn't listening!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "There's a day we'll never get back. / I was so bored.", "c": ["Bart", "Lisa"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Look! A welcome mat that tells you you're weight.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Your weight is... Warranty voided.", "c": ["Welcome Mat"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "The Sprinkle King, Sprinkle Queen, and Deluxe Sprinkle King are the Simon and Garfunkel plus one of hose nozzle dispersal arrays.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "What is that soothing sound? Maybe it's beef stew!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Getting a back rub from an orgasm.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "I'll be less stressed! And I'm really friggin' stressed!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Now I know why lobsters let out that joyful squeal when they're dropped in the pot.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "We're starting to attract swingers.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Now with an opposing point of view, bubbles!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Afraid you'll get your mustache wet? Well, yes.", "c": ["Homer", "Flanders"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Funny word, urgent. Urgent. Urgent.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Probably a reminder to relax more.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "They're blanks, Abe.", "c": ["Unknown"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "While you were lying here soaking like a bunch of dirty dishes, I was lonelier than Estes Kefauver at a meeting of Murder Incorporated!", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "That actually makes sense. Look it up!", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["callback", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Oh, Dad! I never knew you had dreams or emotions.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Who said anything about a jar?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Pitch in a negro league. I can at least think of at least two problems with that.", "c": ["Homer", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Welcome to Ireland. Also known as the Emerald Isle, Potatoville, East Boston, Freckled Bog, the Land of Poetry, and the Land of Bad Poetry.", "c": ["Tour Guide"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "On your left, you'll see Western Ireland. On your right, you'll see Kathy Ireland. Hi, everyone!", "c": ["Tour Guide", "Kathy Ireland"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Dunkilderry is so quaint. It looks like the puzzle at the pediatrician's office.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "In your face, Belgium!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Bart, if you hate Belgium so much, maybe I should take your Tintins away!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "No, I'll be good!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Run! Run you big sack of glue!", "c": ["Tom O'Flanagan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "It's been years since I've sold so much as a 'pint.'", "c": ["Tom O'Flanagan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Don't you mean pint? / It's been so long, I've forgotten how to say it!", "c": ["Homer", "Tom O'Flanagan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "It's a joke to even call this place a 'pube.'", "c": ["Tom O'Flanagan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Such a beautiful language.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Here's some Bushmills whiskey, served in a potato, floating in a Guinness stout.", "c": ["Tom O'Flanagan"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Who would like to know our secret recipe? I'm not going to tell you. Sure, if I did, it wouldn't be a secret.", "c": ["Guinness Tour Guide"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Well. You may know the ingredients, but you don't know the ratio. / 50-50?", "c": ["Guinness Tour Guide", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "From now on, you're Francis *. / Bill Jones. / Seamus Fitzpatrick. / You're Liam Fitzpatrick, and you're brothers with him. / I said you're brothers! I didn't say you got along!", "c": ["Immigration Officer", "Immigrants"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "But I'm not sure I like the idea of getting a gift in return for kissing. What kind of a message is that for Lisa and Maggie?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Except for Stone Phillips. Do you have one of him here? If so, he's our your him.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.32, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "K-I-S-S M-Y A-S-S spells kiss my ass.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.67, "im": 4.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "I just had a nightmare! That I was back with your mother! Oh, how I miss her.", "c": ["Grandpa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "I have to say, for blind drunks, you had a excellent knowledge of Irish real estate law.", "c": ["Tom O'Flanagan"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "This brandy is fifty years old! Better toss it.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.83, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "I'm in AA. / Who are you? Stuttering Fonzie?", "c": ["Irish Man", "Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Our first sale. / Our first refund.", "c": ["Homer", "Grandpa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "I'm late for a teleconference in Hong Kong, you fat gob!", "c": ["Irish businessman"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Ireland doesn't like pubs anymore. It's as if Danish people stopped liking sleek modern design. / Bite your tongue! That will never ever happen!", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "You wanna slow dance with a goat, I'll be doing a lot of things, but judging ain't one of them.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "The law? That jerk!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "All I remember about him is he was part of a complete breakfast.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Well, Da. It looks like all your 'dur' have come 'ter.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Look at all this Euro dough. These shamrock sure love their tobaccy.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Throw them in the potty wagon. I mean the us wagon.", "c": ["Police Officer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "America is the New York Yankees of countries. Powerful and respected until the year 2000.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Knute Rockne, Larry Bird and especially Mr. Potato Head.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "So I hope you'll forgive two well-meaning Americans for trying to take Ireland back to the good old days of Angela's Ashes.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "It got a lot nicer since we sent all our incompetent half-wits to America. Where you, for some reason, made them police officers.", "c": ["Irish Judge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Oh, Jesus. / Better put a little ouchy spray on it.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "Boy! I better call for some backup. This is unit 19--", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 14, "et": "In The Name Of The Grandfather"}, {"t": "there are only two real commandments, and the other eight are just filler. I knew it.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Congregation Member"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Oh, my God! She fainted! Let's go get smelling salts! Suckers!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "since Mother Teresa stopped here to gas up her Vespa", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "I'd commit arson for the parson. Clergymen can kiss my apse.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Surprisingly, none of them have sold. Except for this one.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "News has never been softer.", "c": ["News Reporter"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "observational"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "the earthly embodiment of the elected chair of the national congress of deacons", "c": ["Crowd Member"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "You just made my mustache tingle.", "c": ["Kent Brockman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "our world spiritual headquarters in Michigan City, Indiana", "c": ["Parson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "I love to go to church It's where I like to read / I get a day in of praying And still tee off by three", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "He's like the pope of this thing!", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "That is if you had stuck with it. You asked me to quit, because I was making more than you.", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Sounds to me like somebody put on more than just one coat. Maybe.", "c": ["Parson", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Walking to your office is what I like to do / Maybe while we're at it We'll peek in at your pews", "c": ["Parson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Helen had bought a fireplace poker from Nova Scotia. She says it shifts logs better than American pokers. But I disagree.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "In fact, I remember when she was Harold Schwarzbaum. You what? I've said too much.", "c": ["Parson", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Well, I'm sure the Lord is understanding. No, He's not.", "c": ["Reverend Lovejoy", "Parson"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "That food might as well have been regurgitated by Satan himself. Regurgitated by Satan He couldn't keep it down / Oh, 666 He got sick, sick, sick / And that's how volcanoes were born", "c": ["Helen Lovejoy"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "She still alive? I'm afraid not. 'Cos I left her ashes on the bus.", "c": ["Old Man", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Maybe the next one!", "c": ["Sea Captain"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "So that's why that ghost keeps coming through the window. Afternoon. Fly away ghosty! Go back to your haunted cornfield!", "c": ["Cletus"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "We didn't order a pizza. But you forgot the pizza anyway.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "And I think Apu got lucky with my sister.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "We don't need a piece of paper to keep it real. Who are you calling an old lady? I need that paper quick!", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "But in the sense someone calls you one when they're angry, yes. Why, you little bastard! That's the angry one.", "c": ["Lisa Simpson", "Homer Simpson", "Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Yeah, instead of exhausted zombies running down the clock.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Watch your back. Half a corpse coming through.", "c": ["City Hall Worker"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "That's the line to get out.", "c": ["City Hall Worker"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Hello. It's me, Lance Romance.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "you deserve a wedding day that, unlike our children, was planned in advance", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Now back to your cold airless tomb. Ho, ho, ho.", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Santa"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Marge, a woman only gets one chance at a second remarriage.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Well, the last time I checked, pirates weren't gay. Dude, how'd you check?", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Store Clerk"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Maybe we can bury the rocket ship inside the cake. And that would be a big surprise, because I'd forget about it pretty quick.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Well did he take all the blue roses with him? My father was a lovely man. He took very good care of my mother and me.", "c": ["Marge Simpson", "Florist"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "but only one plate of butter. That'll stimulate conversation.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "But there is, Marge. The first two letters. I can't believe you're ruining the second Thursday before the wedding!", "c": ["Homer Simpson", "Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "'Cos they're not even coming to the wedding. Why not? Because they're RSVP cards arrived one day after the deadline!", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "More like you're a King Wrong!", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Not on my day, you don't.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "We are now eleven seconds behind schedule!", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "I'm chained up like a common bicycle!", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "It would have to be someone who could afford a chain.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Just so you know, you're making a pretty bad first impression.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "They taste like nothing.", "c": ["Marge Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Plus, he loves Mom and us, yadda, yadda, yadda.", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Because he knows that if Mom and Dad don't get married, I'll never be born!", "c": ["Bart Simpson"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "I'd like to hear more about it, but company policy forbids chit-chat.", "c": ["Delivery Person"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Whose side are you on?", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Oh, don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen to you, Mr. Teeny Number 7.", "c": ["Cecil Terwilliger"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Scott Baio, the Sultan of Brunei, the former Poland secret police the S\u0142u\u017cba Bezpiecze\u0144stwa.", "c": ["Sideshow Bob"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "But just a hotter sauce.", "c": ["Kidnapper"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "They're-- Oh, you're being sarcastic. Wow! You're the smartest guy in that room! Thank you. That's very nice-- More sarcasm.", "c": ["Fat Tony", "Louie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "You always find the one grain of sugar in the salt shaker that is I.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "God help me, I even miss your sisters.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "and two sobbing trolls threw me out of a van onto our lawn.", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Won't it dry up in a few days, and fall off in the bath?", "c": ["Homer Simpson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "So maybe we could put a tanning bed in there.", "c": ["Selma Bouvier"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "Ask her. She's the brains. I'm the thing that's not the brains.", "c": ["Selma Bouvier"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "We emptied our 401(k)s for this?", "c": ["Patty Bouvier"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "No! You're a plant now!", "c": ["Frink"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 15, "et": "Wedding For Disaster"}, {"t": "This is no time to pat the bunny, Maggie. Daddy's watching a very important Mid-Atlantic Hockey League Conference Semifinal do-over game.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "the members of Sesame Street on Ice wait impatiently to begin their matinee performance", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Hold the Black Label, Mabel! The Utica Mohawks' Pete Mavroudis has broken through the 'topes' defense!", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "I will when it's not sports season.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "here at Utica's Kill-Kwik Rat Poison Arena", "c": ["Announcer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "D'oh! The score, damn you!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "I will never... know... the score!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Oh, Marge. This is a definite high point for our marriage.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Your daughter barely knows who you are! / That's ridiculous. Who's your daddy, Maggie? Who's your daddy?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Maggie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.86, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Who's your daddy, Maggie? Who's your daddy?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "He is pretty good with her. / Oh!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Look, Marge, it's just what you want me spending the day with Muggsy. / Maggie! / Marge, you're not Naggy.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "You just set the bar impossibly high. / Can you at least bring a sweater for Maggie? / Impossibly high.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Not even heated up. Typical dog.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Now, you learn your numbers from these billiard balls while Daddy gets happier and happier and then sadder and sadder.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Jeez, can't a guy clean his bar for the first time ever without people making polite inquiries?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Aw, her first enabling.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Remember I taught you your ABCs. A-B... P-K... R...", "c": ["Barney"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Ah, just how I like it: warm and rusty.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "The gargoyle has landed!", "c": ["Library Patron"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "You know I'm a woman. We used to own a cat together! She had babies! Here's yours!", "c": ["Library Patron"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Dast I click on this JPEG? No. I dasn't. Yes, I dast!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "All right, before I send this, I'd better, uh, un-beady the eyes, de-Neanderthal the brow, smooth out my hate lines, lighten up the ear hair, switch my lips, then, black tie the whole deal.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.85, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Aw, I can't build a relationship on a lie. The lies come later.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Oh, frabjulous day! Calloo Callay!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Oh, oh, you want Homer? I'm sorry, I thought you meant Himmler. Heinrich Himmler. You know, the guy who invented the Heimlich 'manure'? Those are two different people!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Moe, I'm down here. / Oh, you're a little person? / No, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Uh, what-what's the correct term? / Little person. / Whoa! Look at me being polite!", "c": ["Maya", "Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "So, Maya, um, have you always been this size, or is this like a Benjamin Button deal?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Well, that was taken at Legoland.", "c": ["Maya"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "What, are you kidding me? You're the best thing to come into this bar since cable TV. And unlike cable TV, I ain't stealing you from the Chinese restaurant across the street there.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Let me get a car seat. / Car seat? / Yeah, I took out the passenger seat to save gas, but I'm gonna use it now 'cause we're gonna do the town!", "c": ["Moe", "Maya"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "So instead of getting a new bar sign, I saved 300 bucks by changing my name to Moe.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 8.25, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Moe! You eat alone again tonight, huh? Table for one! Facing the wall!", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "She's beautiful! But so far away.", "c": ["Waiter"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Yeah. I practice by siphoning gas out of other people's tanks.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "But I never tasted super-premium that was half as good as you.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "It's like my heart wants to do her.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "You mean like how we treat Homer? 'Cause he can't remember limericks?", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "There once was this guy from an island off the coast of Massachusetts, uh... Nantucket, I think it was. Anyway, he had the most unusual personal characteristic, which was, uh... um...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Look at him struggling with the simplest rhyme. It's A-A-B-B-A, dumb-ass!", "c": ["Lenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Aw. Innocent babies whistling nonchalantly. How sweet.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Maybe if I lay down a beat on my bongos, that will soothe her.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "How would I know? You've been spending so much time with her. / I have not! / Oh, right. You think I do.", "c": ["Homer", "Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "You, wash me unmentionables! And, you, preheat the oven for two children at 450.", "c": ["Childcare Worker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Our competitors claim we scramble our images too much. We say, 'Can you love your children too much?'", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "The only thing better than Prying-Eye watching your children is you watching your children, and we know that's not gonna happen.", "c": ["Narrator"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "The only thing better than Prying-Eye watching your children is you watching your children, and we know that's not gonna happen.", "c": ["Commercial announcer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Do you really want to use your baby as a tool to spy on your husband? / Yes, you do. / I wasn't talking to you. / When you say it, it's not just in your head.", "c": ["Marge", "Devil", "Angel"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "No. Hey, no. Hey, a lot of people live in trees. Uh, Tarzan, the Berenstain Bears, flood victims.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.59, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Umpa-lumpa, we are so small...", "c": ["Maya"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "'Cause I am a snake handler, but not an observant one. If we have kids, they just have to have a ceremony with a cobra by age three so their grandfather will be happy.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "When your mailman waved to us, you made me hide under that traffic cone.", "c": ["Maya"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "She's a stand-up dame, and he's a fall-down drunk.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Hey, what's going on? Whoa. You turned into a doll! / I just do that to freak people out.", "c": ["Moe", "Maya"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Ugh! In a nuclear power plant, just how is nuclear energy turned into electricity?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Well, if I remember my high school physics, the controlled nuclear reaction creates steam which powers a turbine... / Man, oh, man, slap a ring on that!", "c": ["Maya", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Are you asking me to be your... little woman?", "c": ["Maya"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Well, as long as you don't mind having a small wedding. And-and we can drink champagne out of an acorn top. Our first dance will be on the head of a pin!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "I've been hogging all the good ones. All right, now you go, but, uh, hey, keep it short!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "I stopped having fun about ten jokes ago, and you just kept going.", "c": ["Maya"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Oh-Oh, forgive me, kitten. I mean cat. I mean, tiger. I mean saber-toothed tiger. I mean... aah.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "How long do you people remember things?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "The one time I did, I went to jail for three years. / You made some good friends, didn't you? / Just 'cause you're chained to a guy don't make him your friend.", "c": ["Lenny", "Moe"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Tomato, tomahto. Now, how am I gonna win Maya back?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "But what if it blows up in my face? / Uh, with your face, who cares?", "c": ["Moe", "Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Now close your eyes, and when you wake up, you will be a woman. / No, no, no, no. I-I want to be shorter for a woman. / Uh-oh! I mixed you up with the last guy.", "c": ["Dr. Nick", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "I look nothing like Julie Newmar!", "c": ["Previous Patient"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Moe, if you have to be like me to love me, then you're not seeing the real me.", "c": ["Maya"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "I see you every time I look at the moon. I see you in puddles after it rains. I see you in the glazed eye of a barfly who's had one too many.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.9, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "And can you wrap up the bones so my dog can have fun with 'em?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Oh, Maggie, I love you from the tip of your toes to the bow on your hair with the red blinking light.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson, you are a strong finisher. / And I'm good at beginnings.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Homer Simpson, you are a strong finisher. And I'm good at beginnings.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Sometime when you least expect it, you'll realize that someone loved you. And that'll make you smile.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Who'd have thought such a little woman could make me feel so big?", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 16, "et": "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"}, {"t": "Did you unscrew all the Phillips heads? Check. Did you unscrew all the flat-heads? Yep. And now we wait.", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Now go hide the evidence while I walk around saying, (GASPING) 'What happened? Who would do such a thing?'", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "I'd recognize those discolored Hush Puppies anywhere. Hear that? He thinks my Try 'N Save brand Shush Mutts are genuine Hush Puppies.", "c": ["Skinner", "Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Hard to believe one lad can cause all this mayhem. Particularly a lad who failed Introduction to Unscrewing.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "And I don't buy this lone prankster theory. I think there was a second fun man.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Milhouse, you realize if you're suspended, you'll be missing Taco Wednesday? Crunchy shell, ground beef, lettuce, mild sauce and, of course, shredded Cheddar cheese. Mmm-mmm.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Willie, take him to the big house where he lives.", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Suspended boy walking!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "I'm grounded and spend all day listening to my dad yell at Mad Money w/ Jim Cramer. You said tech stocks were bulletproof!", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "You know, I think Milhouse is El Barto.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "So, Grampa, not like I'm anxious to go, but I've been here 10 minutes, which is like seven hours in kid years.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "It's her! The little girl who doesn't recoil at the sight of us!", "c": ["Retirement home residents"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Chocolate chip for Donald. Low sodium for Abe. Not made by immigrants for Sam, and imaginary for Major Preston.", "c": ["Jenny"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "With this cookie, I can buy back Private O'Malley from the Zulus.", "c": ["Major Preston"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "You put ex-lax in the cookies, then just sit back and watch the fireworks? I would never do that! Oh, right. I was thinking of other things that are hilarious. Like things that you think are funny.", "c": ["Bart", "Jenny"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "She had more curves than a Hot Wheels track. Well, she didn't yet, but she would after puberty.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Math, done. Pinecone, collected. Permission slip, signed. Now time for a break, a little social studies.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Whoa! She gets to use the real scissors. Nice.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Punch her in her arm. Or if you're really serious, stick gum in her hair. Here, I always come prepared. Take two. You might get lucky.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Boy, you make it look effortless. And that kid's giving you zero pump.", "c": ["Nelson"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "You'd love my PB & J. The secret is no PB, double J.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Willie, I've got a girlfriend! Really? Well, I do, too. She's a bikini model from Sweden.", "c": ["Bart", "Groundskeeper Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.51, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Willie, darling, come back to bed. Don't you love me? Don't compete with my job, Inga. You'll never win.", "c": ["Willie", "Inga"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "In 50 years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Oh, Ralph, how I envy your optimism. There is no Springfield 50 years in the future!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "With global warming trapping the CO2 inside our poisonous atmosphere, our super-heated oceans will rise, drowning our lowlands, leaving what's left of humanity baking in deserts that once fed the world!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Lisa, your outburst was either a sign of deep emotional imbalance or a passionate response to a sobering truth. Luckily, the treatment for both is intensive therapy.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Oh, I don't know. But when you go, could you return this Sports Illustrated for me? Someone must've put it in my bag. They do that, you know? They're always putting things in my bag.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "I spend a lot of time working with this mentally challenged guy. Why, here he is now. Looking good, Homer! Just wait.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Don't shake your fist at me! Look, man. I don't want any trouble. Come on. Here. Just take my wallet. Leave me alone, okay?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Do you know who else was really into rowboats? Jesus. And he could've turned his rowboat into a jet ski, but he didn't. Good guy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Oh. You want your duckling back? Here it is. Psych! That'll teach you to match wits with us, you stupid mother duck!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Either the duck suffers or the kid does or none of you's getting nothing from Shauna. I'm Shauna.", "c": ["Shauna"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Oh, Bart, if those ducklings understood how magnificent you were, they'd stop biting your leg.", "c": ["Jenny"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Let me show you how Ignorital works. It turns this to this! Huh?", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Lisa's a little young to be taking happy pills. Marge, we came to an appointment in the middle of the day. That's the most a parent can do.", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "What's your angle, mister? No angle. If this girl I'm seeing comes here, and she might, I wouldn't mind if you told her I was the kind of boy that does the dishes.", "c": ["Marge", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Yeah. Busboys get all the chicks.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Well, off to school where they'll prepare our little minds for a future we'll never see. Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays.", "c": ["Lisa", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "So this is setting the table. If I'd known how easy this was, I'd have just done it instead of throwing all those tantrums.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Oh, Bart, I don't care that this is just an act. You've finally become the boy every mother dreams of, a girl!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Hello, smiley face. Hello, smiley face!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Jenny, it's amazing what you've done with my son. Well, I think Bart is an incredible combination of Habitat for Humanity and the Jonas Brothers, and nothing can ever change my opinion about him.", "c": ["Marge", "Jenny"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "We don't have any money! Go away! May I de-corn your cob, my darling?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Bart, I learned some great new swear words from my uncle. He has got a broken back, so he's in constant pain. Bart, would you be interested in swears?", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Yes, because only by knowing them can you prevent bad little kids from saying them.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Milhouse, real best friends often don't speak for years at a time, like John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. Just because you saw one episode of one miniseries doesn't mean you get to use it as a whip!", "c": ["Bart", "Milhouse"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Oh, I get it. It's love. I guess you've found your Abigail Adams. My who? So I'll be on my way. I can see I'm the fifth wheel on this bicycle with training wheels.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Reverend, care for some of my devil's food cake? Is that really devil's food? No. It's angel food with chocolate on top. Mmm-hmm. I knew it.", "c": ["Ned", "Reverend Lovejoy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "We should be safe from Milhouse here. Being at sea level gives him nosebleeds. Milhouse is funny. The way he's always shaking me by the shoulders and saying I don't know the real you. Funny.", "c": ["Bart", "Jenny"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Well, you can't bleed out your nose when your heart's broken.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.03, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "I'm only pretending to be good. Before I met you, I was El Barto, Skinner's Bane, the Sultan of Spit Wads, the Dean of D-Minus, the Ay Caramba Kid!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Are you saying our entire relationship is based on lies? Not our entire relationship. Just the stuff I said.", "c": ["Jenny", "Bart"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Whatever you are looking for, it is not at the bottom of a 512-ounce cup of Shrek Berry Blast.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "What is at the bottom is this dumb Shrek trivia quiz, which if answered correctly, entitles you to 10% off any Shrek DVD, except the first two.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Okay, I... What happened to my roses, Apu? You said you'd watch them while I shopped. No such conversation took place.", "c": ["Bart", "Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Grandma, a lot has happened. I went to a condo presentation. I put down my deposit. But then they lost funding mid-project. That crane just sits there every day, rusting.", "c": ["Customer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Smooth and slippery. Thank you, Zamboni King.", "c": ["Milhouse", "Willie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 17, "et": "The Good The Sad And The Drugly"}, {"t": "Hot dogs, not so hot dogs! Cold and droopy!", "c": ["Carnival Vendor"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Fried dough! America's worst legal food!", "c": ["Carnival Vendor"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Never leaves your body! The Truth in Boardwalking Law has really done a number on this place.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Shoot an oversized basketball into an undersized hoop! It's impossible! The prizes have been here for 50 years!", "c": ["Carnival Game Operator"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I could juggle six pins if they let me use a unicycle.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Are you insane? You can't throw a little boy into my cascade. Stop tossing kids!", "c": ["Street Performer"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Finally, I can have fun with something I bought for myself! A new water heater.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Five more water heaters, and we get a free water heater!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "It's like a sauna in here. It is a sauna, in here.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "My invitation didn't say nothing about no towels, so, I guess we should all just go Scandinavian.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll keep this to myself for a while.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Chicken kebab! Fire kebab! - Dad, no! - Dad, yes!", "c": ["Vendor", "Bart", "Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Why... you... little... Burn, Barty, burn!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "It may put something of a cramp in your lovemaking. No, it won't... if he wants me to do something, he'll write it down.", "c": ["Doctor", "Marge"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Is it complimentary? Yeah, sure, it's complimentary. It is? Hey, everybody, check out my compliment!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I held up two for 'peely'! I thought that was a 'Y,' for 'Yanky.' I'll make a note in your chart that you aren't always clear.", "c": ["Homer", "Doctor"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Too much cherry! Lemon. That'll stop the cherry.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Well, I do have an idea, but just to be sure, let's run some expensive tests.", "c": ["Doctor"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "That'll be our Christmas card, this year.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I can't eat tacos? Oh, my God. What day of Mayo is it? Cinco.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Try these beets. I boiled all the red out.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I still taste overtones of pink!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "It feels like food, but it has no flavor whatsoever! It's mac and cheese from the school cafeteria.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "chili con cottage cheese, pecan blandies, cream of steam, you guess 'ems...", "c": ["Lunch Lady"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Old comedy writers who now have to work at our kitchen. The one rule we had on Charles in Charge, is Charles must always be in charge.", "c": ["Old Comedy Writer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I'm big and yellow and I'm servin' Jell-O. If you're a fellow and you want some Jell-O, you better bellow 'Hey, big guy, give me some Jell-O.'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "No Jell-O for you, Bart. It'll keep you up at night.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I used to date your daughter. Buddy, I'm here to eat, not make interesting conversation.", "c": ["Old Man", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "It's bad enough I have to be here three days a week.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Hi, Homer Simpson. Mind if I sit near your son? Mine sucks.", "c": ["Noah's Dad"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Noah, state capitals: alphabetical order, on my clap! Albany! Annapolis! Atlanta! Augusta! Austin! Baton Rouge! Bismarck! Boise! Boston! Capital City! Carson City!", "c": ["Noah's Dad", "Noah"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "He's terrified of you. That's why I'm here: to make sure he gets good grades.", "c": ["Homer", "Noah's Dad"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Isn't that why we pay school teachers those enormous salaries?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Well, call me over-involved, but someday, your son will be my son's chauffeur.", "c": ["Noah's Dad"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Well, I hope your son enjoys being driven around by the president of the United States.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Really? What the future president's doing right now.", "c": ["Noah's Dad"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "You don't see many presidents doing that. Maybe L.B.J. at the end.", "c": ["Noah's Dad"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "It's 'helicopter parenting.' I don't have to 'helicopter' Bart. I've got a backup plan called 'Lisa.'", "c": ["Noah's Dad", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.53, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Sure, she's smart, but how can she be successful if she's not popular?", "c": ["Noah's Dad"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Well, we're having cold shoulder.", "c": ["Girl at lunch"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "My God! My son's a loser and my daughter's a loner!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "No time. I'll deduce where you were from a list of possibilities in my head.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Don't you usually worries about stuff? Do I?", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Help me, mayonnaise!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "A thousand dollars?! That's what my house is worth!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Too obvious. Got to be something from Earth.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I did it! I helped my son! Helicopter Homer away!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Black Hawk down! Black Hawk down!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Sweetie, our country was founded by a clique: the Continental Congress. Dolphins swim in cliques.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "It takes a lot of courage to wear suspenders when you're not in the circus.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "You saying my clothes are clown-like? I feel so insecure. Please be my friend.", "c": ["Rat"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "There's also envy-tations, hate-hugs, spamming with faint praise", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I didn't mean 'everyone' everyone.", "c": ["Popular Girl"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "And that, my dear girl, is called the Toledo Take-back.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I'm a big girl! I'm a big girl!", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Son, you buy an awful lot of airplane glue, but you never buy any models.", "c": ["Store Owner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "It's like saying, 'I don't care. My kid's a loser.'", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "You've got to be crazy! Prepare to be frustrated! You won't get past the north transept!", "c": ["Other Parents"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Blabby's gonna build an Abbey. Groovy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "'Ant poison'? Why do I always read the labels after?", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Everything to make those hundred-dollar phones look like five-dollar toys.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I've never been called 'fierce' before. 'Strident.' 'Hectoring' has been tossed around.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "A little further back. Do you want me to watch and learn? Naw, that kind of creeps me out.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "That's not Henry the Seventh, it's Henry the Sixth! Stupid, stupid, stupid!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Geoffrey Chaucer?! What are you doing here? Well, I'm buried here.", "c": ["Homer", "Geoffrey Chaucer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.", "c": ["Oscar Wilde"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Experience is simply the name we give to our mistakes.", "c": ["Oscar Wilde"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Whatever happened to 'boo?'", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "Now we could smash the real Westminster Abbey it looks like this. There are no flights to London till 5:00.", "c": ["Homer", "Bart"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "He said your show. I watched it once!", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Someone"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "The only entry that repels my eye enough to be constructed by a student is this one.", "c": ["Judge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "In your face, losers! This helicopter is taking off!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I didn't make this terrible model. My dad did.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "'I H-8 this?'", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "These girls are nice on the surface, but it's hard work staying this shallow.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "A light bulb is either on or it's off. Not if you use a dimmer switch. That's what the dimmer switch companies want you to think.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.92, "im": 8.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "The mattress the dog sleeps on in the cellar? No, I gave that to the homeless shelter. It was stuffed with cash!", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "I feel like I've died and gone to Hell.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 18, "et": "Father Knows Worst"}, {"t": "The label is all in lowercase. It's like drinking E.E. Cummings!", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Nourish. Vitality. Purple. Potato-lime. I love the '90s. New car smell.", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "It just means your bladder's full of science.", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Now, if you'll excuse me, our company just went bankrupt.", "c": ["Store Employee"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Gotta find a place to tinkle! / Language!", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "And I'm a woman, so my going in unattended won't cause a panic.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Okay, children, I've just been granted tenure. So I'm gonna sit back and let Ralph teach for a while.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Class, in what year was one plus one? / The answer is: 'The amazing Ralph'!", "c": ["Ralph", "Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "The answer is: 'The amazing Ralph'!", "c": ["Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Mrs. Simpson, let me pour you a drink. Scotch? Vodka? Gin? I've got everything you want. / I want my kids in a decent school! / Hey, I want the 'check engine' light on my dashboard to shut off, but that ain't gonna happen.", "c": ["Principal Skinner", "Marge", "Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "They were playing dodge book!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Oh, I can't understand that math reference, because I went to Springfield Elementary!", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Their auditorium and their gym are two different rooms!", "c": ["Janey"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Their house prices have commas in them.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "As it is, our lawn is just green-painted cement.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "'tis better to have learned and lost, than never to have learned at all.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "We could go to a school where special doesn't always mean bad!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "And where the teachers don't have to moonlight as telemarketers. / As you know, the music of Air Supply is timeless.", "c": ["Bart", "Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Oh, elementary school friends-- Those are forever! You're always gonna be friends with Milhouse.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "'Ahso sheepay' to you.", "c": ["Landlord"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Sometimes, there's not a train going by.", "c": ["Landlord"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Four walls? Hmm, I was thinking more of something in a two or three.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Play it cool, Homer. Don't let her know it's perfect.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "In the Ethiopian restaurant at the end of the block.", "c": ["Landlord"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Oh, I can see them now with their bald heads and their blue-haired wives. How I despise them.", "c": ["School Official"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Call it, friendo. / Heads. I mean, tails. I mean, on its side.", "c": ["Inspector", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "The heat is off. The hissing from the radiator is a snake.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["misdirection", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Oh, that's another 20 or 30 years.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "We need Lisa Simpson at Springfield Elementary. She's our top student, and she writes the fun facts in the morning announcements!", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "So... You're overseeing other people?", "c": ["Principal Skinner"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "This man-crush just got bro-mantic!", "c": ["Homer's neighbor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "You make words into dudes. / Guy-five!", "c": ["Homer", "Homer's neighbor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "I'm Caitlin with a C, this is Katelyn with a K, and this is Kate Lynn, two words. / I'm Lisa. One word.", "c": ["Popular Girls", "Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "I'm Lisa. One word.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "I should warn you: By using the term 'lame,' you're violating the Americans With Disabilities Act.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "At my old school, I got so many A's, the teachers didn't even check my work. / Maybe that's why you got so many A's.", "c": ["Lisa", "Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "You wanted a pow-wow, Chief? / I know you've been dealing drugs at the high school. / I ain't gonna pin no tail on no donkey.", "c": ["Snake", "Chief Wiggum", "Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Batman's gonna be there. / Ba-Ba-Ba-Batman?! I ain't messin' with no caped crusader!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Snake"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "She said that because she respects Alaska's privacy. Just as I have no doubt you guys will respect Lisa's privacy.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "My plan was to lie. Lie like hell. And that's what I did.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "There's a kegger down the hall. We can go as soon as I desecrate this corpse.", "c": ["Homer's neighbor"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Foam wasn't spilt in a day.", "c": ["Homer's neighbor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "I was an astronaut for a little bit. So many rules.", "c": ["Party guest"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "We don't need a bed. We're not gonna be sleeping.", "c": ["Woman"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "I stop the oven when the middle is still a little bit frozen.", "c": ["Homer's neighbor"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "How about you, me and my wife have a two-way?", "c": ["Homer's neighbor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Oh, look, there are pumpkin stickers on the floor. They must have fallen off your homework for next week, which you don't have to hand in.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "L'\u00e9cole, c'est moi! (It's me, the school!) / Oui. C'est toi! (Yes. It's you!) / Au revoir! (Thank you!)", "c": ["Lisa", "French Ralph", "French Ralph"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "I love tapas! It's like appetizers for a meal that never comes.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "A sheynam dank! (Thank you very much!) / Now my bar mitzvah means something.", "c": ["Popular Girl", "Popular Girl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Can't build more seats.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "I got a new nose, I got famous, and now I date the starting point guard for the L.A. Clippers.", "c": ["Alaska Nebraska"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "You know, I think those shirts should say insecurity. Because if you feel you have to put what you are on your shirt, then I feel sorry for you.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think this 50-square-foot apartment isn't big enough for the both of us!", "c": ["Homer's neighbor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Those are last year's shoes! / Kill her! / Also, it's Lisa! / Kill her twice!", "c": ["Popular Girls", "Popular Girls", "Popular Girls", "Popular Girls"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "I was looking forward to killing you and making it look like a suicide.", "c": ["Inspector"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Too bad. I was looking forward to killing you and making it look like a suicide.", "c": ["Inspector"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Three weeks?! This has got to be some kind of record.", "c": ["Milhouse"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "Your comments when we watch movies aren't funny.", "c": ["Homer's neighbor's friend"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "I just want to go back to a place where I'm ostracized for being me. Not for who I pretend to be.", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 19, "et": "Waverly Hills 9 0 2 1 Doh"}, {"t": "She had it all, except the most important thing. / Please don't say 'a man.' / No, a husband!", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "The year was 1588, 400 years before Kirk Gibson would hit his famous home run", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "So you can pump out a son, and then I don't gotta work for no broad no more... um... my liege", "c": ["Homer as advisor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Off with my head!", "c": ["Ralph as Prince"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "This is 1588, and his material is fresh and hip", "c": ["Marge as Queen Elizabeth"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "If I ever have sex, this will be great afterwards", "c": ["Marge as Queen Elizabeth"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.64, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Now take me to the real ones. / Those are the real ones", "c": ["Moe as Spanish King", "Advisor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Nice things? / No, not nice things!", "c": ["Guard", "Moe as Spanish King"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "you have the strength of a plow horse, but the charm of a cart horse!", "c": ["Marge as Queen Elizabeth"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Um, which one of us are you talking to?", "c": ["Raleigh"], "jt": ["reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Whoa, someone call Beowulf! Grendel got in again!", "c": ["Jailer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Armada? What's armada? / Nothing. What's armada with you?", "c": ["Queen Elizabeth", "Messenger"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "our fat, mean king could dump his faithful wife, we know you're on our side. So please destroy these horrible monsters who believe your mother should be revered", "c": ["English Admiral"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "So please destroy these horrible monsters who believe your mother should be revered", "c": ["Priest"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Normally, I love to see flaming dreamboats heading my way, but not like this, baby, not like this!", "c": ["Spanish sailor"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Yeah, you keep telling yourself that", "c": ["Selma"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "The story you're about to tell is the copyrighted property of The Walt Disney Corporation", "c": ["Disney lawyer"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "There's Crabby... Drunky... Hungry! Greedy! Lenny! Kearney! and Doc... tor Hibbert", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Ho-hi, ho-hi, it's off to work go I / This song's not like any song you know, ho-hi!", "c": ["Dwarfs"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Also, there's a weather girl on channel nine who's... (rolls tongue, giggles)", "c": ["Smart TV/Mirror"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "I- I-I cannot do it! Run, lassie! Find wee little men, and hide with them!", "c": ["Groundskeeper Willie as huntsman"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Maybe I'll make her a heart out of construction paper. I- I-I cannot do it!", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "I- I-I cannot do it! Maybe I'll make her a heart out of construction paper", "c": ["Willie as huntsman"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "This bed's too hard. This bed's too soft. And this bed is just... like the first one, also too hard", "c": ["Lisa as Snow White"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Ho-hi, ho-hi, it's time to now to get high / We'll take some shrooms and go to our rooms", "c": ["Dwarfs"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "You're in marketing. Why do you even bring an axe? / If you were in marketing, you'd know", "c": ["Dwarfs"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "(sighs) Guess it's you and me again, doorknob. (makes kissing sounds)", "c": ["Lenny as dwarf"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "(sarcastically): Ooh, herbivores. I'm so scared", "c": ["Patty as Evil Queen"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "she couldn't indulge in strenuous activities like handball, but otherwise she was fine", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "All I have are some dry-cleaning coupons. / Deal. / Thanks, Marge. But don't forget, there's still gonna be a civil suit", "c": ["Marge", "Homer", "Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "If you don't like getting barbecue sauce out of a leotard, why did you get into show business?", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Mel's like the son Laurence Olivier and John Gielgud always wanted, but never had. But, oh, how they tried", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "I think Mel would be happier as an understudy. / A six-feet-understudy", "c": ["Marge", "Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "That 'crazy talk' is the work of the immortal Bard, William Shakespeare. / Well, if you see him in heaven, tell him he sucks", "c": ["Mel", "Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Today's Tuesday, so that would make it Friday, and then, uh...", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "(in girly voice): Conrad Birdie? Coming here to Sweet Apple? / That's Bye-Bye Birdie! / Damn it, Morpheus. Not everyone believes what you believe. / That's the screenplay for The Matrix Reloaded", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Damn it, Morpheus. Not everyone believes what you believe. That's the screenplay for The Matrix Reloaded", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Who the hell is Banquo? / He's the one getting the good reviews. / Which makes him the next one you've got to kill", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Wouldn't it be easier if I just took acting lessons? / Screw your courage to the sticking-place and we'll not fail", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "What's that from? Bull Durham? Macbeth! Mac-who?", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "He who laughs last laughs dead", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Killing makes me hungry / Eating makes me thirsty / Drinking makes me sleepy", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.43, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Why did he have to kill everyone in their costumes?", "c": ["Theater person"], "jt": ["visual_gag"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "No, it was Homer! Your dark ambition guided his murderous hand. / No. I just encouraged him. / Encouraged by withholding sex!", "c": ["Ghosts", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "You call a sandwich maker an artist, it's like an invitation to steal! A guy's going nani-nooni bananas in there!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Me having to read all those plays would be the real tragedy", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 8.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Mom, isn't that book the bible of right-wing losers? / Yeah, but the guy on the book jacket is one sexy slice of beefcake", "c": ["Lisa", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Yeah, but the guy on the book jacket is one sexy slice of beefcake", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "dancers shouldn't kick too high, and buildings mustn't reach the sky", "c": ["Mr. Toohey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Your rubble is still a little bit higher than the others. So, let's just... There. Welcome to the real world, baby", "c": ["Mr. Toohey"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "If I were you, there'd be a lot of strangled babies", "c": ["Homer as parent"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "You will be tried as a toddler", "c": ["Prosecutor"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Ho-hi, ho-hi, it's time to say good-bye / If Disney sues, we'll claim fair use", "c": ["Closing singers"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "We'll get take-out and the make out / We're bi, we're bi, we're bi, we're bi", "c": ["Closing singers"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "We're bi, we're bi, we're bi, we're bi", "c": ["Dwarfs"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 20, "et": "Four Great Women And A Manicure"}, {"t": "Hey-hey, you're pregnant and it's not mine!", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Repackage them as coffee stirrers and sell them in the Philippines.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "What's that food we never put in any of our meals? Vegetables? Yeah, those guys.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "What are those unhealthy he-she sounding things? Uh, trans fats?", "c": ["Krusty", "Business Executive"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Spray a little nicotine juice on the kids' meals. Get 'em hooked.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "It was worth it to be on TV! Put our dying screams in the promo!", "c": ["TV Show Participants"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 7.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "The real drowningest catch is man.", "c": ["TV Host"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Made from 100% wheat-fed barley.", "c": ["Krusty"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Finally, a hamburger for the Hindus. By the tusks of great Ganesh, now no one can tell I am not American.", "c": ["Apu"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Look at me! I'm saving the Earth! Where's my Nobel prize?", "c": ["Lisa"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Those barley burgers were tainted! Why did I eat 12 of them? Why?!", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Taken! Occupied! Hurling!", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "If I die, I want you to take over... Really? ...the search committee for a new superintendent.", "c": ["Chalmers", "Skinner"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Third-grade math scores are holding steady.", "c": ["Skinner"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "What happened is, a big ol' rat got caught up in the grinders there, so my wife, Dagny, took a hose to it.", "c": ["Brendlf Jensen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Well, where there's barley, there's rats, you know. Now, when will you be starting the interview?", "c": ["Brendlf Jensen"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "You hear that, Bart? He called me 'sir.' That means he knows I'm better than him.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "A lemon version of barley-ade?", "c": ["Norwegian Worker"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "I'm glad you've come here to take all the jobs we don't want to do. Can't have too much of a good thing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "That I do! But he doesn't stay long. No, I don't!", "c": ["Marge", "Ned Flanders"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Mom says I can have ice cream for breakfast. Oh, she's still here. Mom, can I have ice cream for breakfast? No way, mister.", "c": ["Bart", "Marge"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Just like the ones Joe Piscopo and Ethan Hawke left their wives for. But hands off my Homie.", "c": ["Marge"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Ja, she has the same beautiful face as my great-uncle Magnus when he lay in the coffin after his trolley accident.", "c": ["Torbjorn"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Hey, Homer, your blubber would light our lamps for a year. I zing the oaf good? You zing the oaf great.", "c": ["Norwegian Worker", "Lenny/Carl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "This is Tennessee Titans country!", "c": ["Comic Book Guy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Step aside, Nor-wads. Watch how the natives ride sky.", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "A-fer-gan-nerkin! A-fer-gan-nerkin!", "c": ["Norwegian Patient"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "I can't read this sloopy-bloopy writing.", "c": ["Homer"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Typical-- foreigners clogging up the system. I hurt my back unclogging your septic system. Sven, can you stop by tomorrow? It's clogged again.", "c": ["Homer", "Sven"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Na-chin-na-hart! Na-chin-na-hart!", "c": ["Bart"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.49, "im": 5.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Well, you were a baby once. Does that mean you still like milk and hugs? Yes, I'd like both right now.", "c": ["Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Hey, I ain't got no problem with them. They pay in cash, they keep it clean, and their mythology is rich and enchanting.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Hey, Moe, what is that hoity-toity beer they're drinking? Oh, I don't sell beer no more. I only serve Aquavit, the Norwegian caraway-scented liqueur.", "c": ["Barney", "Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "That stuff will open up a can of 'oh my goodness' on you.", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "I share your xylophobia. Dad, you mean xenophobia. Xylophobia would be a fear of xylophones. I am afraid of xylophones. It's the music you hear when skeletons are dancing.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby", "Lisa", "Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.98, "im": 8.33, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Springfield will ban immigrants and xylophones.", "c": ["Mayor Quimby"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Well, he's too far, Lou. So? So what am I, Superman?", "c": ["Chief Wiggum", "Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Eddie loves his lobster and port wine, but it comes with a price.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "vigilantes who would agree to do our job for the adrenaline rush that comes from having a tiny taste of authority over your fellow man", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "And all we're paying 'em is bullets and beer.", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "The Klan? Well, there are no bad ideas, but let's keep trying. The Nazis? Okay, you stop trying.", "c": ["Moe", "Multiple Characters"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "My code name will be 'Screaming Eagle.' Yours will be 'Ground Losers.'", "c": ["Moe"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "C-c-cold. S-s-so very cold.", "c": ["Carl or Lenny"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "That's not a tree, Chief. That's a street sign. You just looped your belt around it when you were changing your pants.", "c": ["Lou"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.67, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Ja. Ja. Maggie's first words are in Ogdenvillese! Now do you see, Marge? Now do you see why we must build that fence? Build it, Homie! Make it as tall as the sky and deeper than Hell.", "c": ["Maggie", "Homer", "Marge"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "So my girlfriend puts all these pillows on the bed. And you have to like take them all off at night and put them all back on every morning. And if the little one is in back of the big one, oh, God help you.", "c": ["Carl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "I had trouble finding a four-button cardigan, so I bought a three-button one and sewed the extra button on myself. This baby was a five-buttoner, but I took a button off.", "c": ["Lenny", "Sven"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "Do ya miss us? Ja, we miss you. That's why we build the door.", "c": ["Homer", "Sven"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.25, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "All right, boys, round 'em up... and throw them the swingingest soiree they've ever seen!", "c": ["Chief Wiggum"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "The Simpsons", "ss": "the-simpsons", "s": 20, "e": 21, "et": "Coming To Homerica"}, {"t": "IT SCARES ME. [awkward silence after overly intense romantic declaration]", "c": ["Brett", "Ashley"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "HE PLAYS DRUMS FOR LED ZEPPELIN, AND HIS NAME IS JOHN BONHAM, BABY!", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.89, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "SAM QUEER. IT'S FIGHTIN' TIME, WEIRD.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.66, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW WHAT IT'D BE LIKE TO FIGHT A GIRL.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.56, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'M A GIRL. WANNA SEE WHAT IT'D BE LIKE TO FIGHT ME?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I THINK SHE'S HIGH ON POT.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "AND BY THE WAY, I WEIGH 103 POUNDS. SORRY.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "MAN, I HATE HIGH SCHOOL.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "HE'S DEAD. LET'S GO DIG HIM UP NOW AND SEE HOW COOL HE LOOKS.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.93, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "THEY'RE JUST A CHANCE FOR THE POPULAR KIDS TO EXPERIMENT WITH SEX IN THEIR CARS.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "DIED... OF AN OVERDOSE-- HEROIN. DAD, ARE ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS ALIVE?", "c": ["Harold", "Sam"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "THE SMART ONES.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "callback"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'M HAVING A MIDNIGHT MADNESS DEER HUNTING SALE THAT NIGHT, AND YOU CAN COME WAIT ON ALL THOSE NICE HUNTERS.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "IT'S SCHWEIBER.", "c": ["Mr. Schweiber", "student"], "jt": ["running_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.55, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "[Bill doing terrible William Shatner impression] I'M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT A TRIBBLE.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "JOHN WAYNE.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "AT LEAST YOUR MOM DOESN'T WRITE THE NOTE ON THE BAG.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE SUCH A WOMAN.", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 4.66, "im": 4.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "BE A MAN.", "c": ["Mr. Kowchevski"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "YOUR BUTT WAS CALLING TO ME.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.36, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "YOU'RE THAT CHICK WHO GOT AN 'A.'", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "WHO'S YOUR DAD-- HITLER?", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'D RATHER MAKE OUT WITH PRINCIPAL FARBER. OOH, AGAIN.", "c": ["Daniel", "Ken"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "BUT YOU'RE OUR BEST MATH-LETE.", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.4, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'She brought you your jacket. That means...' elaborate analysis", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "NO WAY. WE'RE NOT HER SPECIES.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "YOU'VE SEEN STAR WARS 27 TIMES. DO THE MATH.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "MAYBE I SHOULD ASK OUT BILL'S MOM. YOU BETTER NOT.", "c": ["Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'Why don't you blow your nose in some bread and make me a sandwich, too?'", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "WHY DON'T YOU BLOW YOUR NOSE IN SOME BREAD AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH, TOO?", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "WHAT, ARE YOU DOING HER SO THAT SHE'LL HELP YOU WITH YOUR MATH HOMEWORK?", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I SHOPLIFT IN YOUR DADDY'S STORE.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "[Kim spits in Lindsay's face] THERE. NOW WE'RE FRIENDS. SEE YOU AT THE MALL.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "THAT IS EXACTLY WHY I DON'T CARRY A PURSE.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.67, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "SHE'S BEEN ACTING WEIRD EVER SINCE OUR GRANDMA DIED.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I KIND OF WISH I DIDN'T COME TO SCHOOL TODAY.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "WHAT IF HE WAS MY HUSBAND? THAT'D BE SOME KIND OF JOKE TO YOU?", "c": ["Girl"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "PLAY DODGE BALL. [collective groans]", "c": ["Coach", "Students"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUN ABOUT THIS?", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "ONLY MY MOM'S ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "DODGE BALL'S KIND OF A STUPID GAME, ISN'T IT?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "PRESIDENT ELI! [awkward political discussion with disabled student]", "c": ["Students", "Eli"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'M NOT RETARDED. I'M SPECIAL.", "c": ["Eli"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "AND I'M THE MEAN ONE? HOW DOES THAT WORK?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "OH, GOD, PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT WORD.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'Oh, God, please don't say that word.' (about 'math-lete')", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I'M JUST JEFF, YOUR FRIEND WHO CARES.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "WELL, THEN MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD TELL YOUR FACE.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "HIS KIND SHOULD BE DESTROYED.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "HE BROKE MY TAILBONE, BUT THE RESULTS WERE EFFECTIVE. HE GOT EXPELLED.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "YOU GOTTA FIND YOUR BIG, GIGANTIC DRUM KIT, YA KNOW?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "HEY, MAYBE I'LL BUY A CLARINET.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.56, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW WHO USED TO CUT CLASS? JIMI HENDRIX. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? HE DIED, CHOKING ON HIS OWN VOMIT.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["running_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "EVERYBODY'S STILL ALIVE. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "UM, WHY ARE YOU THROWING YOUR LIFE AWAY?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'No. There's nothing.' Grandma's deathbed revelation", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 8.61, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "YEAH. HE'S A GONER.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "EITHER WAY. [Colin excited to watch the fight regardless of outcome]", "c": ["Colin"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "WE'RE KIND OF HERE TO BEAT YOU UP. BILL!", "c": ["Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "'I'll save a dance for you.'", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I GUESS THE NOSE BONE MUST HAVE MISSED MY BRAIN.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "I HAD HIS SHOES.", "c": ["Colin"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "NO. WE GOT HIT BY A CAR.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["misdirection", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "MAYBE YOU SHOULD START CALLING ME MR. ROSSO AGAIN.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 1, "et": "Pilot"}, {"t": "DAD'S THE ONE WHO CAN USE SOME PANTS. WHO AM I TRYING TO IMPRESS? WHEN ITS YOUR HOUSE, YOU CAN WEAR A TUXEDO TO BREAKFAST.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Harold"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "I CAN JUST SEE YOU GUYS EATING CANDY FOR BREAKFAST AND DRAWING PICTURES ON THE WALLS. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK WE ARE, DAD?", "c": ["Harold", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "MRS. AMENDELLA MAKES THE HOUSE SMELL LIKE AN OLD LADY ANYWAY.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW THOSE SEX PISTOLS? THEY SPIT ON THEIR AUDIENCE.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "YEP, THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO. SPEND MY HARD-EARNED MONEY TO BE SPIT ON. NOW THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "ELVIS DIDN'T EXPECTORATE ON HIS FANS.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "NO, BUT HE DIED ON THE TOILET.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "WELL, THAT'S PARADISE COMPARED TO WHERE THOSE SEX PISTOLS ARE GONNA END UP.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "HE'S DEAD. YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE, HE'S DEAD. AND AS A RESULT, THERE'S NO MORE LED ZEPPELIN.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "WELL, WHY DON'T THEY JUST GET A NEW DRUMMER? WHAT, ARE YOU...? LET'S JUST FORGET IT.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Nick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. CLEARLY WORTH ALL THE EFFORT.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "OH, WOULD YOU, MR. TOUGH MAN? YEAH, I WOULD, MRS. TOUGH MAN.", "c": ["Kim", "Daniel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "escalation"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "[LAUGHS] OH, LIKE THAT TIME WHEN JOHN ERGNER KICKED YOUR ASS? LIKE--LIKE THAT?", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "[LIGHT VOICE] KEGGER. KEGGER, [FAKES COUGH] KEGGER.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "LINDSAY'S TOO LAME TO LET ANYONE ENTER HER PRECIOUS LITTLE HOUSE.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "GREAT. WHO'S THE TOO-LAME ONE?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "NO, LINDSAY, LINDSAY, PLEASE. HOUSE DRINKS FREE.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL, THEN YOU WON'T GET INTO A GOOD COLLEGE, THEN YOU'LL HAVE NO FUTURE, AND YOU'LL WIND UP DEAD OR IN JAIL.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "WERE YOU ASLEEP DURING SCARED STRAIGHT?", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "BECAUSE YOU HAVE YOUR BOOK IN FRONT OF YOUR PANTS.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "WELL, THAT'S MY PROBLEM. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. NO, NO, IT'S NOT, BECAUSE DAD WILL YELL AT ME FOR NOT TELLING ON YOU.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "THAT DESIGNATED DRIVER'S PRETTY HOT. LIKE TO GET HER DRUNK.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "[SOBS] I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT ANYONE.", "c": ["Student actor"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "A SEX PARTY. ALL RIGHT, I THINK I HEARD SOMEONE SAY 'BIRTHDAY PARTY.'", "c": ["Student", "Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW IF ANYONE HERE HAS ANY COCAINE?", "c": ["Student actor"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "I LOVE BEING TOLD NOT TO DRINK BY A POTHEAD HIPPIE GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "I'LL CUT THAT HAIR OFF AND I'LL SELL IT.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "WHAT? BILL, DALLAS SUCKS. YOU SUCK. DALLAS RULES.", "c": ["Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "I WAS JUST JOKING. I DON'T-- I DON'T WATCH DALLAS.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "IT'S NOT FOR THOSE STAR WARS CARDS OR THOSE GOOFY PACKS. WACKY PACKS.", "c": ["Harold", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "UM, AT ASSEMBLY TODAY, THEY DID THESE IMPROVISATIONS ABOUT DRINKING AND DRIVING. IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. YEAH, I SAW. THAT'S WHY I LEFT.", "c": ["Sam", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "REMEMBER THE PARTY WHERE YOU HAD A MAGICIAN? THAT WAS FUN. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A MAGICIAN?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "WE ARE NOT HAVING A MAGI--WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "WHAT'S NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER? IT'S JUST LIKE BEER, BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE THAT INGREDIENT THAT MAKES YOU DRUNK. ALCOHOL? YEAH.", "c": ["Sam", "Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "[SIGHS] IT'S MY BAR MITZVAH MONEY. I'M SAVING IT TO GO BACKPACKING ACROSS EUROPE.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "EVERY TIME YOU GUYS HAVE A PROBLEM, YOU WANT TO DIP INTO MY BAR MITZVAH MONEY. IT'S NOT LIKE I GET TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "MAZEL TOV.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS GETTING SHOT IN LIQUOR STORES. DO YOU THINK THEY SELL YOOHOO HERE? I'M KINDA THIRSTY.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "MAYBE HE CAN CHANGE YOUR DIAPER, TOO.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "OH, WE'RE GONNA SWITCH THE KEGS AT HIS SISTER'S PARTY. [LAUGHS] RIGHTEOUS.", "c": ["Sam", "Liquor store clerk"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "CAREFUL. MY FOOT! HEY, IT'S YOUR FOOT. YOU CAN WATCH IT, TOO, YOU KNOW.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "'CAUSE YOU KNOW, FRIDAY... IS THE SABBATH... FOR THE JEWS.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "IF NEAL MARRIES YOUR SISTER, THEN HE'D BE YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW. THEN--THEN, IF YOU HAD KIDS, UH, NEAL WOULD BE THEIR UNCLE NEAL.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "I THINK BILL'S GOT AN EAR INFECTION. IT'S MESSING WITH HIS EQUILIBRIUM.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "WHAT DO YOU THINK WE ARE, HIPPIES? [LAUGHS] SHUT UP, MAN. I THINK IT LOOKS GREAT.", "c": ["Daniel", "Nick"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE PLAN. BILL, YOU GUARD THE KEG. NEAL AND I WILL PATROL THE PARTY. I'LL KEEP AN EYE ON LINDSAY. I'M THE GENIUS.", "c": ["Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "[GROANS] THIS BEER SUCKS. IT TASTE WEIRD TO YOU? UH, IT'S IMPORTED.", "c": ["Party guest", "Sam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "I WAS ELECTED SCHOOL TREASURER LAST YEAR. I DIDN'T EVEN RUN.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.88, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "I PREFER TO GET HIGH ON LIFE. OH, WHOA, WHOA. YOU'RE THAT CHICK FROM THAT THING YESTERDAY.", "c": ["Millie", "Sean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "callback"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "NO DOUBT. WE'RE FRIENDS OF DANIEL'S. WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOME BEER. HOPEFULLY UNDER A TRUCK.", "c": ["Older guy", "Kim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "MAN, I'VE HAD 5 BEERS ALREADY. I'M NOT EVEN BUZZED. I HAVEN'T HAD ANY AND I'M SAILING.", "c": ["Ken", "Millie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "THAT'S THE PLACEBO EFFECT WORKING FOR YOU, MY FRIEND.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "FIRST PLACE-- ALGEBRA DIVISION? OH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE, UH... MATHLETES.", "c": ["Daniel", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "HEY, IF I EVER WON A BLUE RIBBON... I'D BE SO PUMPED. I MEAN, UH, I WOULDN'T WEAR IT AROUND OR NOTHING, BUT... IT'S COOL.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.95, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "DO YOU GUYS LIKE MY SISTER? SURE. WELL, THEN CAN YOU MAKE SURE THAT SHE DOESN'T GET IN TOO MUCH TROUBLE?", "c": ["Sam", "Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "LET'S GO, FAT BOY! THAT WAS STUPID, OLD MAN.", "c": ["Older party crasher", "Ken"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "DON'T SAY ANYTHING. BE DOMINANT. IT'S ALL--ALL ABOUT DOMINANCE. I SAW THIS MONKEY SHOW ON PBS.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "IF YOU TALK TO HER FIRST, IT'S A SIGN OF WEAKNESS. AND SHE WILL NOT PICK YOU TO BE HER MATE.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "DON'T WORRY. WE THREW YOUR TEDDY BEARS ON THE FLOOR.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "JOHN BONHAM DIED.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "BECAUSE YOU'RE SAM'S SISTER.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "WHEN I WAS IN THE SIXTH GRADE, MY MOM THREW ME A SURPRISE PARTY, YOU KNOW WHAT THE SURPRISE WAS? NOBODY SHOWED UP. EXCEPT BILL AND SAM.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.15, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "AND I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU SINCE I WAS 5 YEARS OLD.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "HA, WHAT? THE BUS HASN'T ARRIVED YET?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "I WON 87 BUCKS PLAYING QUARTERS.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "SHOULD'VE HIRED A MAGICIAN.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "THAT'S HOW THE DRUMMER FROM LED ZEPPELIN DIED.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "callback"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 2, "et": "Beers and Weirs"}, {"t": "Elaborate bet rules with increasingly specific restrictions ending with 'cut up bits of sponge'", "c": ["Bill", "Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "I DON'T WANT TO MESS UP MY HAIR", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "THEN HUM SO YOU CAN'T HEAR US / [HUMMING]", "c": ["Sam", "Bill"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Cousin toilet story during recipe preparation", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "OH, IT'S BUBBLING!", "c": ["Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "LET ME SEE THE MONEY FIRST", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "IT'S NOT BAD", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "'It's not bad.' followed by immediate retching sounds", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Movie title confusion - The Nude Bomb vs dirty movie", "c": ["Sam", "Harold", "Jean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Dad's harsh assessment of trick-or-treating as 'begging like a tramp'", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Devil's Day hair removal foam urban legend", "c": ["Daniel", "Lindsay", "Ken"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "I was just goofin' on 'em / No, you weren't! / Yes, I was", "c": ["Daniel", "Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Eating Lick-a-Maid at 7:30 AM because 'it makes my spit taste like fruit juice'", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Dad threw a rock at Daniel's car", "c": ["Lindsay", "Daniel"], "jt": ["escalation", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "But I guess you didn't hear it", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Daniel thinks Millie is eating laundry soap", "c": ["Daniel", "Millie"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Thanks for the candy, Skinny / Dad's right, needs muffler", "c": ["Kim", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Amelia Earhart of McKinley High comparison", "c": ["Mr. Rosso", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "observational"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Don't turn me into the man / See? It's working already", "c": ["Mr. Rosso", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Class groans at Crime and Punishment assignment", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Make out with my butt and call it love", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Fake narc story about Brian Stoker", "c": ["Daniel", "Ken", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Everybody hates their mother / No everybody hates HER mother", "c": ["Kim", "Daniel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "If that's what you need to call it in your diary, princess", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "When I hit 13, I became a man / That's only in your temple, not real world", "c": ["Neal", "Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Hotdog on a Stick girls working haunted house", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Groucho impression: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever hoird! / Groucho sucks", "c": ["Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Tommy, my secret love from church camp", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "French kissing before 6 months sends you to hell", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Didn't want to make you feel bad since you don't have a boyfriend", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Maybe we should name our band Zarios", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Monster Mash sing-along with mom", "c": ["Jean", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "[SINGING MONSTER MASH] / HA. / RIGHT? / [GIGGLES]", "c": ["Jean", "Harold"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Scott Byron story - trick-or-treating into his 20s", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.25, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Don't bring plastic pumpkin / Not if I eat candy as we go / You puked at bus stop", "c": ["Sam", "Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Hippies inject candy with heroin conspiracy", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["absurdist", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Poo in fun-sized candy bars dipped in chocolate", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "I wrote 'My son's the cutest boy in the whole world' on your costume", "c": ["Jean"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Looking for Chaplin, only seeing Hitler", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "This is ridiculous. I look like Tom Selleck!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Bionic Woman phone conversation with sound effects", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "You look like Richard Benjamin in Westworld", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "What the hell are you supposed to be? / Mission accomplished", "c": ["Harold", "Harris"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "How do you know it isn't real?", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "If I held you any closer, I'd be in back of ya", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "For crying out loud / Don't fall out", "c": ["Harold", "Jean"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "I'll try not to blow anything of yours from now on", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "They probably didn't know she was so hot in real life", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Her boobs weren't that big at the auto show", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Rich people give cheapest candy - it's how they stay rich", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "I'm allergic to more things than anyone my doctor's ever seen", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Harold vampire scaring kids accidentally", "c": ["Harold", "Kids"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "I own a sporting goods store / Homemade cookies with razor blades", "c": ["Harold", "Angry Parent"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Let's head out to the barn for a roll in the hay", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "How are things at ass school? Getting all As", "c": ["Ken", "Kim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Aren't you guys a little old? / We're young at heart", "c": ["Homeowner", "Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "You look like the fricking Tin Man / I could die from peanuts in circus peanuts", "c": ["Homeowner", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "UM, MA'AM... I HOPE THERE AREN'T ANY PEANUTS IN THESE PEANUTS. 'CAUSE IF THERE ARE, I COULD D-DIE.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Cookies covered with ants on lawn", "c": ["Neighbor"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Dressed like this? / Stupid kids' holiday", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "HAROLD, RUN UP TO FARMER JACK AND BUY SOME CANDY. / WHAT? DRESSED LIKE THIS?", "c": ["Jean", "Harold"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "I'm so happy I'm not at Ted Nugent concert", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Oh look, it's fun-sized", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "That's months of groundwork down the drain / Like they'd ever go out with you", "c": ["Neal", "Harris"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "They always give me free lemonade refills", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Just give us your candy / We went through a lot for this", "c": ["Alan", "Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "I'm not a little girl, I'm a bionic woman / Yeah? Prove it", "c": ["Bill", "Alan"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "You're such a little baby / Going to haunted house is better? / Takes one to know one / You are one", "c": ["Kim", "Ken"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "We just egged my little brother", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "I told you she'd be a drag", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Like circus freaks? / I don't think bearded ladies run around throwing eggs", "c": ["Jean", "Harold"], "jt": ["misdirection", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Last time I had this much fun I was pinned down by North Koreans", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "NOTHING LIKE GETTING YELLED AT BY DAD WHEN HE'S DRESSED LIKE A VAMPIRE, HUH?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Nobody thinks you're cool, you know / Trust me, I know", "c": ["Sam", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "You were supposed to be my little princess / I'll have to be your little prince", "c": ["Jean", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "THAT'S THE WRONG COSTUME. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY LITTLE PRINCESS. / WELL, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO BE YOUR LITTLE PRINCE INSTEAD.", "c": ["Jean", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Everyone's name is really weird and long", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 3, "et": "Tricks and Treats"}, {"t": "Multiple characters bumping into each other, dropping donuts on ground, then being told to eat dirty food", "c": ["students"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 4.54, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "MY PROBLEM IS YOUR FACE, DIRTBAG.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.06, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "WELL, IF SHE'S LOOKING FOR NEW CUSTOMERS, I'M UP FOR A TEST DRIVE.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "JEEZ, PERRY, YOU'RE LOOKING HUGE.", "c": ["student", "Perry"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.26, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "THAT GUY HIT YOU IN THE SOLAR PLEXUS.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "I PROPOSE AFTER SCHOOL WE MAKE SOME ACID, POUR IT ON THE SIDEWALK, AND WATCH IT KILL BUGS.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOUR LIFE STORY, OK? I WANT YOU TO MOVE YOUR ASS!", "c": ["Kim Kelly", "Sam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "YOU ARE VERY CONFUSED, PEE-WEE. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE EVEN IN THE RIGHT SCHOOL?", "c": ["Kim Kelly", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "YOU CAN'T BE 14, MIDGET. YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HIT PUBERTY.", "c": ["Kim Kelly", "Sam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "Kim checking Sam's armpit for hair in front of everyone", "c": ["Kim Kelly", "Sam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE HAIR IN YOUR PITS.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "THEN YOU'RE A GEEK.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "Kim writing 'GEEK' on Sam's locker and explaining it will help him remember which is his", "c": ["Kim Kelly", "Sam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "YOU DON'T HAVE HAIR IN YOUR PITS?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "SHE'S A SLUT, OBVIOUSLY. / OBVIOUSLY.", "c": ["Kim Kelly", "Daniel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "WHO WALKED IN ON WHO? / GOD, PEOPLE ARE SO GOSSIPY AT THIS SCHOOL.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "OH. BUT HE'S SICK. HE HAS IMPETIGO.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.28, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "JUST BECAUSE SHE'S ALWAYS ON HER PERIOD, YOU KNOW?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "A DEFACED LOCKER... A HUMILIATED FRESHMAN... AND A BUSTY SUCCUBUS FROM HELL--PERHAPS WE'VE LEFT McKINLEY HIGH AND ENTERED THE CHILLING CORRIDORS OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA MAKE SWEET LOVE TO YA.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "MY DAD HAS A RULE: YOU DON'T PISS YOUR PANTS AT SCHOOL.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "HEY, I DIDN'T PISS MY PANTS!", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "WHAT WAS THAT, BILBO BAGGINS?", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "ARE YOU GUYS DEFORMED OR SOMETHING? I MEAN, WHAT'S THE DEAL?", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "THIS TIME... IN GEEK BLOOD.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "I, UH, I HOPE SHE MEANT YOUR GEEK BLOOD.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "GOD, WOULD YOU QUIT YELLING AT ME, YOU PSYCHOPATH?!", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE A DRAG. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE GOIN' OUT WITH HER.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "WELL, AS USUAL, MY MOTHER IS BEING A TOTAL SHREW.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "SHE FORNICATES IT.", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "'She fornicates it.'", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "WE CAN'T ALL BE GIRL SCOUTS, MILLIE.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "WHAT'S A PYGMY? / IT'S A DWARF FROM AUSTRALIA.", "c": ["Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "IF YOU DON'T GET RID OF THAT, YOU'RE GONNA BE CALLED PYGMY GEEK FOR THE NEXT 4 YEARS.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "'This wasn't you?' / 'Well, yeah, but--' / 'You kids don't respect school property.'", "c": ["Vice Principal", "Sam"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "DID NICK SAY SOMETHING TO YOU? / WELL...YEAH.", "c": ["Kim Kelly", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "YOU WANT ME TO STAY A MIDGET? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "I'M MALNOURISHED.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "KIM KELLY'S A PSYCHO. SHE AND KAREN SCARFOLI? WELL, UH... THEY'RE VIOLENT.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "SHE DOESN'T WEAR FRILLY DRESSES OR PRANCE AROUND LIKE A CHEERLEADER.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "WELL, MAYBE YOU ARE A GEEK.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "I GOT THE WORST CRAMPS. I JUST ABOUT DIED ON THE WAY OVER HERE.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "I HATE LINDSAY AND HER STUPID FRIENDS. / YOU DON'T HATE YOUR SISTER. / YEAH, I DO. SHE SUCKS.", "c": ["Sam", "Jean", "Sam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "SHE DOINKED RYAN O'NEAL ONCE AT A PARTY.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "MY PARENTS HATE EVERYBODY. THEY HATE DANIEL. THEY CAN'T STAND KAREN. THE ONLY PERSON THAT THEY LIKE IS YOU.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "LAST WEEKEND, WE WENT UP TO YOUR VACATION HOUSE IN BENTON HARBOR AND WENT WATER-SKIING.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "I GOT ONE 'D,' OK? I TOLD YOU MY HISTORY TEACHER WAS A PERVERT.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "AT LEAST I KNOW HOW TO READ.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "MY DAD ALWAYS SAYS A FARMER NEVER REVEALS HOW MANY COWS HE'S GOT.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "REALLY? CAN HE GET US A DISCOUNT?", "c": ["Kim's stepfather"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "I LOVE RELIEVIN' MYSELF BEHIND A SHOWER CURTAIN.", "c": ["Kim's stepfather"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "THIS KID JUST GOT A LITTLE BIT ON HIM AND NOW HE'S GOIN' TO DISNEYLAND FOR HIS LAST HOORAH.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "I THINK SHE'S A SEX FIEND.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "GIRLS DON'T GET HORNY. / THEY DON'T? / ONLY GUYS GET HORNY.", "c": ["Neal", "Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "MAYBE KAREN SCARFOLI'S A GUY.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "YEAH? WELL, AT LEAST, I'M NOT A PYGMY.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["escalation", "callback"], "cr": 5.19, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "BENTON HARBOR... STREET.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "YOU ARE A LYING BRAT! I KNEW IT! I TOLD YOU.", "c": ["Kim's mother"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.61, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "NEWS FLASH. YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER, FAT ASS!", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "BENTON HARBOR STREET?", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT YOU'RE THE GEEK.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "ADULTS PLAY WITH CHEMISTRY SETS, TOO. THEY'RE CALLED SCIENTISTS.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "MAY I DIRECT THE JURY'S ATTENTION TO EXHIBIT 'A'?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "WHAT'S GEEK MEAN ANYWAY? I MEAN, IT'S JUST-- YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST A WORD.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.27, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "THERE ARE A LOT OF FAMOUS GEEKS IN HISTORY-- EINSTEIN, GILLIGAN, GOMER PYLE.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "YOU LOOK FAMILIAR. DOES ANY OF YOUR FAMILY SHOP AT MY STORE? / YEAH, BUT MY MOM HATES GOING THERE 'CAUSE IT'S SO OVERPRICED. YOU KNOW, YOU CAN GET THE SAME STUFF AT SPORTSMART FOR A LOT LESS.", "c": ["Harold", "Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "I THINK HE'S STONED.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "AND AFTER I BREAK HER ARMS, I'M GOING TO TAKE A WRENCH, AND I'M GOING TO PULL OUT HER TEETH ONE BY ONE.", "c": ["Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "DID YOU DO THIS? / I DID IT. / BECAUSE YOU ARE A SLUT, SLUT.", "c": ["Kim Kelly", "Kim Kelly", "Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "HEY, KIM, THANKS. THAT WAS REALLY COOL. / NO PROBLEM, GEEK.", "c": ["Sam", "Kim Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 4, "et": "Kim Kelly Is My Friend"}, {"t": "Students laughing hysterically at health education film about 'hair growth in the genital area'", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 4.89, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Student comparing female reproductive diagram to something from outer space", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Mr. Fredricks threatening Sam about getting 'the clap' for not paying attention", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks", "Sam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Student correcting 'it jumped out of his stomach' to 'it jumped out of his chest'", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.97, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Mr. Fredricks sarcastically calling Sam 'Dr. Love' for disrupting class", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks", "Sam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Sam completely unable to identify ovaries on diagram", "c": ["Sam", "Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Game show buzzer sound effect followed by 'Cervix says no'", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Sam admitting 'I don't know' when asked to identify vagina", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "'Dr. Love' callback when Sam returns to seat", "c": ["Students", "Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["callback", "running_gag"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Sam's consolation: 'At least I didn't get head lice'", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Mr. Rosso's excessively casual 'Peace, brother' to student", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Mr. Rosso saying 'Rock on, Kirby' with finger gesture", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Daniel claiming he doesn't ride the bus when teacher uses bus metaphor", "c": ["Daniel", "Kowchevski"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Jocks laughing at dirty joke that geeks don't understand", "c": ["Jocks", "Geeks"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Neal declaring 'I don't really like jokes. I don't think they're funny.'", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "'WOULD YOU AUTOGRAPH MY GENITALS?' - another jock mocking Sam", "c": ["Jock", "Sam"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Daniel saying 'I get these weird urges sometimes' after pouring soda on Kim", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "'IT'S NOT LIKE I'M A BUS DRIVER.' - Daniel's response about studying math", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Daniel saying 'It's not like I'm a bus driver' about his intelligence", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Harris claiming he 'gets' the dirty joke but won't explain it", "c": ["Harris", "Geeks"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Harris's terrible pickup line: 'Love is like homework. You got to study if you want to get an A.'", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Harold insisting on answering door because 'it's dark out, and you're a girl'", "c": ["Harold", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Daniel saying 'Just talking about studying makes me want to take a nap'", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Nick saying Sam won't learn anything useful from health textbook", "c": ["Nick", "Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Daniel's 'I'LL BE COOL' when giving up on studying", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Bill's argument about Hulk vs. Thing including waiting for Bruce Banner transformation", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Nick thinking ABBA is from Switzerland instead of Sweden", "c": ["Nick", "Sara"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Nick saying 'I think I'm getting a wart on my wrist' during Daniel's crisis", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Neal's disgusted reaction to pornography: 'Eww! Give me that. Only perverts watch pornos, right?'", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "'I DON'T EVEN HAVE A PROJECTOR.' 'WELL, I DO.' - logistics of porn viewing", "c": ["Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Daniel saying 'I ganked the test' casually", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Kowchevski calling Daniel a 'loser' with 'bedroom eyes and stringy hair'", "c": ["Kowchevski"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Daniel saying Lindsay's 'like a brain or something' for doing math", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "'HOW'D YOU LIKE TO COME HOME TO THAT EVERY NIGHT?' - geek watching porn", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "'He's in good shape' - Bill commenting on male porn star", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "'That guy's got the best job in the world'", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "'Hey, you think there's any short porn stars?'", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.47, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "'Are we gonna go to hell for this? I don't wanna go to hell.'", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Harold comparing Lindsay to Patty Hearst with 'gun to our head'", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "'I DID CHEAT. I LIED AND I CHEATED, AND THEN I LIED SOME MORE.' Millie: 'YOU'RE FUNNY, LINDSAY.'", "c": ["Lindsay", "Millie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Daniel's speech about being labeled Track 3 - 'the dumb kids' - at age 11", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.79, "im": 9.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Sam identified by his Star Trek notebook paper", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Harold saying 'I knew kids like Desario in Vietnam' as character reference", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.14, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Lindsay's hysterical laughter during disciplinary meeting", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Harold insisting 'She's as high as a kite!' about Lindsay's laughter", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Harold declaring 'She's a track one girl!' while Lindsay laughs hysterically", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 5, "et": "Tests and Breasts"}, {"t": "Nick singing Rush's 'The Spirit of Radio' loudly and completely out of key", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "YOU LOOK A LITTLE BIT LIKE MY GRANDPA. OH, IS YOUR GRANDPA SUPER COOL?", "c": ["Sam", "Unknown student"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "JIMMY CARTER'S A WIMP.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "IS WEIR ALLOWED TO SHOWER WITH US? 'CAUSE HE'S A WOMAN.", "c": ["Student", "Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A FREAKIN' TARZAN?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "IT'S NOT A BURLESQUE SHOW, SAM. THEY JUST WANT US TO SHOWER.", "c": ["Neal", "Sam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "STOP LOOKIN' UP MY SHORTS. WHY WOULD WE? THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE.", "c": ["Student", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "THERE IS SOMETHING TO SEE.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "HEY, SCHWEIBER. YOU GONNA SHOW US YOUR CIRCUMCISION IN THE SHOWERS TODAY? YEAH. TAKE A NUMBER.", "c": ["Bully", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I CAN'T GO UP ANY FARTHER, GUYS. HOW DO I GET BACK DOWN?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "The entire Oklahoma! announcement sequence with students' horrified reactions", "c": ["Drama student", "Various students"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "WOW. YOU'D LOOK GOOD IN THAT DRESS. THANKS.", "c": ["Daniel", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "CREATION. NO, WE DON'T HAVE A NAME.", "c": ["Nick", "Daniel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "HOW ABOUT 3:01? HOW ABOUT 3:15? I GOTTA FIT IN YOUR MOTHER.", "c": ["Nick", "Daniel", "Ken"], "jt": ["escalation", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "YOU WANNA SLEEP WITH MY MOM? MM-HMM.", "c": ["Nick", "Ken"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, TO BE HONEST, I DON'T SMELL SO GOOD. I COULD PROBABLY USE A SHOWER. NO! WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "HEY, IF WE DON'T SHOWER, THEN WE ARE GONNA STICK TOGETHER. YOU GET IT?", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "WELL...WE DIDN'T EVEN SWEAT. SMELL US.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "UH, YOU KNOW, WEIR, I'LL PUT THAT ON MY 'TO DO' LIST.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "THAT GUY'S REALLY INTO MAKING GUYS SHOWER. TELL ME ABOUT IT.", "c": ["Sam", "Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I WISH I COULD SMASH THIS THING. [CHANTING] DO IT! DO IT!", "c": ["Nick", "Kim", "Ken"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "OH, YEAH? I HOPE IT'S SOMETHING CATCHY, LIKE, UH, THE MATH-LETES.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "MISSION CONTROL. NO WAY. WHY NOT? 'CAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE SOME SPACE THING. SO? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? SPACE BLOWS.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Daniel", "Nick", "Ken"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "ANARCHY'S CHILD. NO WAY! BOO! BOO BOO BOO. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Ken", "Daniel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I TAKE IT THE SYMPHONY'S OVER.", "c": ["Mr. Andopolis"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "[MOCKING] LADIES, GENTLEMEN... LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.", "c": ["Daniel", "Ken"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "HEY, YOU WORKING THE DRIVE-THROUGH? YEAH, IN AN HOUR. ALL RIGHT! LET'S GO THERE, GET A BUNCH OF FREE CRAP.", "c": ["Ken", "Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "THIS IS MISSION CONTROL REQUESTING PERMISSION TO ROCK OUT.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "NICK, I REALLY THOUGHT THAT I COULD WALK ON THE MOON, BUT YOU JUST DON'T SEE ANY MOON ROCKS AROUND HERE, DO YA?", "c": ["Mr. Andopolis"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.21, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "Sam's muffled scream from inside the locker", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "THIS EARTH BALL DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE EARTH. WHOA! WATCH OUT! THAT'S IT. I'M GONNA DIE IN GYM CLASS.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "YEAH, AND I CAN'T SAY NO TO A LONG, LUXURIOUS SHOWER. NO! YOU CAN'T!", "c": ["Neal", "Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I'M FARSHTINKINER, AND I'M SHOWERING.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES, AND IT'LL BE OVER BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. I'M WITH HIM. OH, THANKS!", "c": ["Bill", "Neal", "Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "C-COULD YOU PUT ON A TOWEL? WHY? WELL... 'CAUSE YOU'RE NAKED?", "c": ["Sam", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "SAM, OUR BODIES ARE MERELY A SHELL WHICH CONCEAL OUR HEAVENLY SOULS. TRY NOT TO GET TOO UPTIGHT. AUF WIEDERSEHEN.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "WELL, YOU COULD STOP SMELLING LIKE MY BUTT, FOR ONE.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "NAIL THE GEEKS! ... OWW! I HOPE I CAN STILL HAVE KIDS. COME ON. YOU GOT HIT IN THE GROIN. YOU DIDN'T HAVE A HYSTERECTOMY.", "c": ["Bullies", "Student", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.48, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "LOOK AT THAT HEAD OF HAIR, HUH? YOU JUST GET THAT CUT? THAT IS VERY STYLISH AND VERY, VERY DRY.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I'M DIZZY... AND...AND I HAVE A HEADACHE, AND I'M NAUSEOUS.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "PICK UP THE ACADEMY AWARD ON THE WAY THERE, WEIR.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "SCHWEIBER, PUT ON SOME CLOTHES. YOU LOOK LIKE A 50-YEAR-OLD MAN.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "YEAH, BUT YOU GUYS AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO WIN ANY COMPETITIONS. THANKS A LOT, YOU KNOW? THANKS A LOT, LINDSAY.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Nick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "WHEN I WAS IN THE MATHLETES, WE DID LOGARITHMS UNTIL WE COULDN'T SEE STRAIGHT.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "GEE, THIS IS REALLY FUN, GUYS. I'M GLAD WE HAVE A BAND.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "WELL, THAT SUCKED. ROYALLY.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, YOU AND YOKO HERE HAVE TURNED MUSIC INTO SCHOOL.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "ROCK 'N' ROLL DON'T COME FROM YOUR BRAIN. IT COMES FROM YOUR CROTCH. AND IF YOU EVER GOT ANY, MR. CUTE SHORTS, YOU'D KNOW THAT.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO BE IN CREATION!", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["callback", "escalation"], "cr": 7.69, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "GOOD BODIES. SO HE CAN THROW HER OVER HIS SHOULDER. BIG DEAL. HE SHOULD USE HIS LEGS MORE. HE'S GONNA THROW OUT HIS BACK.", "c": ["Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.94, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "BUT YOU'RE NOT VERY FUNNY. SCREW YOU! I'M HILARIOUS. OOH, HOW WITTY. GET THIS GUY ON HOLLYWOOD SQUARES.", "c": ["Sam", "Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "ALL COOL GUYS HAVE HAIRY CHESTS: SELLECK, REYNOLDS, ROCKFORD.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "HEY, WHAT ABOUT MORK? HE'S GOT MORE HAIR ON HIS HAND THAN SAM HAS IN HIS PITS.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I THINK OUR BEST PLAY IS TO GO FOR THE SMART, SEXY LIBRARIAN TYPE. YOU KNOW, SHE'S SWEET AND SHY, BUT THEN SHE TAKES OFF HER GLASSES AND RRROWF!", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "LIKE BAILEY ON WKRP IN CINCINNATI. YUP. BUT CINDY SANDERS IS LIKE A LIBRARIAN TYPE. YEAH. LIBRARIAN FOR THE PLAYBOY MANSION.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "Sam running naked through the hallways after being locked out", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "GOD KNOWS ZEPPELIN ONLY PLAYS HALF OF STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, AND THE WHO NEVER EVEN PRACTICE TEENAGE WASTELAND. BABBA O'REILLY. WHAT?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Daniel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "LINDSAY, HE'S NOT GONNA BE THE NEXT KEITH MOON. SO IF HE'S GOT SOMEPLACE TO GO THAT'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF HIM, WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY OUT OF HIS WAY?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "HEY, YOU KNOW, IT'S A LITTLE EASIER IF YOU SIT DOWN AND DROP YOUR PANTS.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "DIMENSION'S LOOKING FOR A NEW DRUMMER?! ... THESE GUYS ARE LIKE THE TOP WORKING BAND IN DETROIT!", "c": ["Nick", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I DON'T WANT TO GET NAKED IN FRONT OF OTHER GUYS. WELL, WHO DOES? YOU KNOW HOW MANY MEN HAVE SEEN ME NAKED IN MY LIFETIME? A LOT.", "c": ["Sam", "Harold"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "SAM...YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BODY. DOESN'T HE, HAROLD? YES. I JUST SAID HE HAD A BEAUTIFUL BODY.", "c": ["Jean", "Harold"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "YOU'RE AN ADONIS, A SLAB OF BEEF... IF I WASN'T YOUR SISTER, OH, MY GOD-- LINDSAY! CAN IT.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "29. WHOA! 29-PIECE KIT. WOW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU SHOULD BE AUDITIONING US.", "c": ["Nick", "Scott"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "WELL, YOU MUST'VE BEEN THERE FRIDAY NIGHT, 'CAUSE SATURDAY NIGHT WE GOT BOOED OFF THE STAGE. WE DIDN'T GET BOOED OFF THE STAGE.", "c": ["Scott", "Vance"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I HATE THAT SONG. LET'S DO CROSSROADS.", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "HEY, UH, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT 29-PIECER, MAN. MAYBE SOMEDAY, YOU'LL KNOCK IT UP TO AN EVEN 30.", "c": ["Scott"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "SOMETIMES I GO DOWN IN MY BASEMENT, AND I PUT ON A LIVE ALBUM, I CAN... SEE MYSELF ON THE STAGE. ... I'M PETER CRISS OR SOMETHING.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.74, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I'LL BE LUCKY IF I GET TO BE THE GUY WHO PUSHES THE BUTTON THAT MAKES THE RISER GO UP, BUT I'M NOT EVEN GONNA BE THAT GUY.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.22, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "NICE PECS, WEIR. YOU LOOK LIKE A FLAT-CHESTED GIRL.", "c": ["Unknown bully"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "WELL, I'M PROUD OF MY BODY. [MOCKINGLY] OH, HE'S PROUD OF HIS BODY. OH, HE SHOULD BE PROUD. LOOK AT THIS.", "c": ["Sam", "Bullies"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "STREAKER! GO, SAM! GO!", "c": ["Students"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT KISS. OH, GOOD. IT REALLY MEANT A LOT TO ME. I'M GLAD.", "c": ["Nick", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "RINGO STARR. YOU FINALLY GOT YOUR WISH, NICK. YOU'RE AS GOOD A DRUMMER AS JOHN BONHAM. OF COURSE, HE'S DEAD.", "c": ["Ken", "Daniel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 8.04, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "HEY, IS DIMENSION GONNA CHARGE YOU FOR THE PEE STAIN YOU LEFT ON THE DRUM SEAT?", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "YOU GUYS ARE LOSERS, AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE. HOW COME YOU'RE THE ONE RIDING HOME WITH NO FRIENDS?", "c": ["Alan", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "I PLAY SO MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU'RE AROUND.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 6, "et": "I'm with the Band"}, {"t": "Do you actually say the words 'hot dog'? / Yes, I do.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "A lot of times you might see, maybe you're taking a shower or something, and you go, 'What are these?' 'What's that?'", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "I'M A BOY OR GIRL, AND I'M A MAN OR WOMAN.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "That was brutal. I've never hated Alice Cooper as much as I do right now.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "You know who didn't go to college? Einstein. Thomas Edison. / [INDULGENT SIGH] / Frank. / Frank who? / The dude who pumps my gas.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["misdirection", "escalation"], "cr": 8.13, "im": 8.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Through the mail? She's lucky that wasn't intercepted by some junkie working for the Post Office.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "So we all sit around the table, and you yell at us? / You do that to us every night.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Harold"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "When you two were kids, you used to run around naked and lay in bed with us all night. We bathed you, and we cleaned your butts when you pooped. And we loved it.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "We are going to be close from now on, whether you like it or not. We are going to spend quality time together, and we're going to enjoy it, damn it! The Weirs are playing Pit this Friday. Get used to it.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Well, that might be Mr. Darwin now.", "c": ["Biology Teacher"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Always room for another head on the chopping block.", "c": ["Biology Teacher"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "I saw Ronald Reagan kissing a monkey on TV last night. / On the news? / No, no, no. It was in a movie. He's a pretty good actor. So was the monkey...", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Really? My dad drives a Coup de Ville, so we're practically related.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Once he ran over an old lady, and then he blamed it on his car. He said the accelerator got stuck.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Our shop teacher got his hair caught in a lathe and then he got his whole scalp torn off and now he has to wear a wig. / Our shop teacher got his pinky cut off by the radial arm saw. And when they tried to sew it back on, it didn't fit anymore. Now everyone calls him Pinky Tuskadero.", "c": ["Maureen", "Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "But if I start bugging you, please, be sure and let me know. / Oh, don't worry. We'd never let you bug us.", "c": ["Maureen", "Sam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "You'd better shut up. / [LAUGHS] Just 'cause you got a fake I.D., don't go lording it over the rest of us.", "c": ["Daniel", "Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "This looks exactly like you. / I know. / Except it says you're 24. / So? I look mature. Nobody ever stops me.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "[ALL LAUGH] Some stupid bouncer asked what my star sign was. I didn't know, so he snagged it. / Aw. It's Capricorn! Cancer! Capricorn! Oh!", "c": ["Daniel", "Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Dude, I hate astrology. What, everybody born in the same month is gonna have the same life?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Well, well, well. I don't know why, but I'm liking her more and more every day. / Join the club. / Ew.", "c": ["Daniel", "Nick", "Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "You should stop by the A.V. room. We just got a new beta machine. / Thank you, Harris. We're very late, though.", "c": ["Harris", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Tomorrow's pizza day in the cafeteria. / Yeah. It's made out of real tomato sauce and everything.", "c": ["Gordon", "Harris"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "I don't have to be home ever.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "We need some fake I.D.s. / Shh. I work here. / Come here. / I mean, we need some slacks.", "c": ["Daniel", "Howie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Astrology. It's not astrology. It's you, man. It's facts, it's who you're supposed to be. June--Cancer, Libra--October, Capricorn--December. Know it. 1958. You are them.", "c": ["Howie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "A chick with money. You got good taste, Stretch.", "c": ["Howie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Had to bring the big rocket, didn't you? / What? So I got a big rocket. What am I supposed to do, cut it in half?", "c": ["Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "She is beautiful. I can't believe she's gonna hang out with us. / What if I'm asleep right now and this is just a dream, and any moment Maureen and I are gonna make love? / Ew. / Then what are we doing here? / Maybe this is my nightmare.", "c": ["Neal", "Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "God, Bill, your rocket's huge. / Oh, it is? I hadn't noticed.", "c": ["Maureen", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.04, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Yeah, but you're definitely more than friends. / I don't know. We only kissed once, and it's not-- It's not a big deal.", "c": ["Kim", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "We're not into labelling things, you know? We have a more mature relationship than that. / Let's just say we have an understanding. / Well, I'm glad you have an understanding, 'cause I don't know what the hell you're talking about.", "c": ["Nick", "Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "She's the kind of woman you could cut the cheese in front of. / Oh, yeah, Bill, that's what love is all about. / It is. I mean, you couldn't be in love with someone if you couldn't.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "What do you think you do, get up and run outside every time you have to let one rip? You'd never get any sleep.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "You see the way she looks at me? She can barely contain herself. / You just happen to be looking at her every time she's thinking about me.", "c": ["Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "The same way we decided who had to stand in line for The Empire Strikes Back tickets. / I'll get the hat.", "c": ["Sam", "Bill"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Did you know that in some cultures, if your children shame you, you're allowed to have them executed? / Well, I feel shamed. / Oh, Harold.", "c": ["Harold", "Jean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.34, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Honey, it's like that old saying-- If you love something, set it free. Maybe if we try not to force it, they'll come to us. / Well, all right. There you go. They're free. Let 'em free. Let 'em go. [LAUGHS] See? / Get back here.", "c": ["Jean", "Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.61, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "I'm the happiest man in the world. / Oh, great, Bill. Now you can go and fart in front of her. You'll make quite the impression.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. He wet his paper with spit. What? That's how he wins every time. He just feels for the wet one.", "c": ["Neal", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. He wet his paper with spit. / What? / That's how he wins every time. He just feels for the wet one. / Mrs. Maureen Haverchuck. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Ha ha.", "c": ["Sam", "Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "I heard the words, but your eyes said something else. They said, 'I'm lost. I need your help. Don't listen to me. Guide me.'", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Tell you what. Why don't I just come and visit you then in the prison-- where you'll be living-- and give you some really good advice, like should you get shanked in the yard or the dining hall? When you have your baby, which prison guard should take care of it? That kind of thing.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "We'll see her in a week, and she'll be all... [SCREECHING]", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Three's Company is the best show on TV. / Oh? Oh... / Really? / Yes. The Ropers don't want Jack living with 2 girls because he doesn't want any dirty stuff going on in--in his apartment building.", "c": ["Eli", "Vicki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Who the hell is 'Jesus H. Garcia'? / It's Hey-Zeus. It's your new identity. / Tell me that picture doesn't look like you. / This picture doesn't look like me, man.", "c": ["Daniel", "Howie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Mine looks kinda Chinese. / Yeah. Hey, mine looks Chinese, too. / What's going on with that? / Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's a big Vietnamese community up there in Alberta.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Kim", "Howie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "It's hard to find matches for you guys. No one in Canada looks like you.", "c": ["Howie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Yeah. I like it when it's been sitting around for a while, and it gets that skin on the top. Heh.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Do you want a fake I.D.? So you can go get loaded? / No, Millie, I just wanna hear this band play. / That's why there's records.", "c": ["Millie", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "I heard the drinking age is something like 10 in Idaho. / Well, I don't think that's right.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "DON'T PLAY WITH THAT ROOSTER! DON'T PLAY WITH THAT ROOSTER. THAT'S NOT A NICE, PETTY-PET ROOSTER. / I'm sorry. / NO. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'LL BE SORRY. VERY DANGEROUS.", "c": ["Toby", "Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "I got a green thumb. Don't worry about it.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "You can't just go into a store and buy one like it's a toaster. Only corporations have that stuff. It's very expensive.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "There's only one thing that could compete with the Vicki Appleby party. / All-u-can-eat night at the Iron Horse Restaurant. / Of course. So obvious.", "c": ["Harris", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "When we were kids, you were really cute, but, I mean, I never thought you would turn out this hot. / You go to McKinley? / MM-HMM. / It's a pretty good school. I went there. I almost graduated from there a few years ago.", "c": ["Toby", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Hey, you know, actually, she's my girlfriend, man, so do you think maybe you could stop hitting on her? / No, no she's not. / Yeah, I am his girlfriend.", "c": ["Daniel", "Toby", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "I don't need to ask. I could just get it from my cousin Millie, you know? I was just being polite.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Did I? I think so. 100 each.", "c": ["Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "So, was I left back one year. / Well, I know. But still, it wouldn't make you 18. / All right, I was left back twice. Ok, are you happy now? There's no secrets between us.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Toby"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "18, that makes me jail bait. / Hey! You better watch out. I'm gonna call the cops on you. Officer, I didn't know, look at her, she looks like she's 30. / AHH! No I don't!", "c": ["Lindsay", "Toby"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Nobody's home. / You wanna have a little sex? / Sex?", "c": ["Harold", "Jean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "My mom says that it takes a little while for your stomach to tell your brain its full. So you should eat really fast. / Yeah, but the only problem is, the service is really slow. / Yeah, they take forever on purpose, so you'll get full while you wait. / Watch how much bread they bring us.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "So, I hear service here is really bad 'cause you don't want us to eat much. / What? I don't own the place. I don't care how much you eat. / Are you sure? / No, actually, I'm a millionaire and I just do this for fun.", "c": ["Bill", "Waitress"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Where's your mustache, Jesus? / It's Hay-Soos, and I shaved it. / Too bad. You looked better with it. / Gracias. / Se\u00f1or.", "c": ["Bouncer", "Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Do you want to see my I.D.? / No, you're good.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Bouncer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Those I.D.s look nuts! Business must be pretty bad if we're supposed to let them in.", "c": ["Bouncer"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "All the way from McKinley High School, we've got the key members of another smokin' band we like to call 'Creation.' Daniel Desario, Ken Miller, Nick Andopolis, Kim Kelly, and their manager, Miss Lindsay Weir.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "I can't let you serve our guests plain old beer. Why don't you bring them some of your finest pop, on the house. / OH, I GOT THOSE UNDER-AGE DRINKING BLUES.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso", "Band"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.45, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Hey, guys. Um, hey, do you mind if I go over and sit with those guys today? / No, no, not at all. / Do you want to come and sit with me? Over there? / Yeah, I mean, you don't have to sit here forever if you don't want to. / Yeah, but we like it here. / Yeah, go have fun with your friends. We'll be here if you need us.", "c": ["Maureen", "Sam", "Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Just remember, the jocks are only after one thing. And be careful around Vicki. She's a wolf in sheep's clothing. And remember, don't believe everything they say about people in the school. 'Cause they don't always take the time to get to know everyone. / Guys, I'm just sitting 3 tables over, I'm not moving back to Florida.", "c": ["Neal", "Maureen"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.38, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "Did you guys happen to see Three's Company last night? [LAUGHS] It was so funny. / What happened? / I don't really remember, there was a lot going on. / Oh. / Joyce DeWitt is really hot. If I was Jack, I'd have a very hard time choosing between the 2 lovely ladies on the show because, you know, one's a brunette, one's a blonde,", "c": ["Harris", "Sam", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "If I was Jack, I'd have a very hard time choosing between the 2 lovely ladies on the show because, you know, one's a brunette, one's a blonde,", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 7, "et": "Carded and Discarded"}, {"t": "I don't kiss and tell.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Grab me a piece! / Shut up, man. Get outta here.", "c": ["Unknown freak", "Nick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.52, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I heard he dropped his stick soloing on Black Dog. You know, like that first gig.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I'm not jealous. I'm really not. I'm glad I bombed the audition, because, you know, if I hadn't... then we wouldn't have kissed, hmm?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Yeah, but Tommy goes to church! Nick is a freak!", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Freaks only date freak girls. And you're not a freak girl. / How do you know? / 'Cause freaks go all the way.", "c": ["Millie", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "What about Patty Filker? She's a freak girl. And she has a baby! But I guess that's no big deal either.", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "HO HO, HEY, MERV GRIFFIN! Nice interview.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I've gotta say it rocks pretty heavily, and that's comin' from a guy who's seen Hendrix live.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I got it on in a van at Woodstock, I'm not judgin' anybody.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Until one night, I was checkin' out this discotheque. The one at the bowling alley on 15 Mile.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "One thing led to another and... Now I get sores on my lip once a month. I have herpes.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Mr. Rosso's devastating confession: 'I have herpes.'", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.66, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "IT DEVE YOU DON'T WANT IT!", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.56, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I just blew your mind, didn't I?", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.36, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Maybe he takes baths instead. / My mom says that they don't really get you clean. / Yeah, you just sit in your own filth.", "c": ["Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "We're going to be dissecting kittens. [STUDENTS GASP] Just trying to get your attention.", "c": ["Biology Teacher"], "jt": ["misdirection", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Your lab partner will be Gordon Crisp. / Bill, your partner will be Cindy Sanders.", "c": ["Biology Teacher"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "OH, HOW INTERESTING. Me and Cindy, you and Gordon.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Well, there goes Cindy's grade point average.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Excuse me, madam. May I take this seat?", "c": ["Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Science waits... FOR NO MAN.", "c": ["Biology Teacher"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 4.85, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "He's a really great guy. / Yeah. I know.", "c": ["Daniel", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Nick's a stud... you know? I mean, he may not seem like it, but he is.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "RIGHT, BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO DO THAT AFTER CLASS, MISS YEATS. / HA HA. Be still, my beating heart.", "c": ["Mr. DiZario", "Miss Yeats"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.91, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Yeah, Cindy smells, too. Like flowers. [LAUGHS]", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Her tongue was in my ear the whole time. [LAUGHS] / Shut up! / Now I'm gonna have to get Cindy to come and kiss it and make it all better.", "c": ["Neal", "Sam", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "IT'S NEAL-- / OK, so, Bill, I was thinking...", "c": ["Neal", "Cindy"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.59, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "To your house? / MM-HMM. / I think--I think I could squeeze you in.", "c": ["Bill", "Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Cindy's house. 4:30. Should I wear Hai Karate or Old Spice? / Definitely Old Spice.", "c": ["Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Oh, yeah, like the donkeys really give a care. / Well, how would you like some big fat teacher sitting on your back while you had to run around a gym?", "c": ["Daniel", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "But have you seen the Elephant Man? / HMM? / The movie. / OH, OHH! The... guy with-- the deformed guy.", "c": ["Nick", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "YES, MA'AM-- I MEAN, SIR. [LAUGHTER]", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "observational"], "cr": 4.47, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "ROMEO AND JULIET. Come on. Last one in class, first one on welfare. It's your choice.", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "OH, WHOA! COOL SHEETS! [IMITATES OBI WAN] 'May the Force be with you.' [FORCED LAUGH]", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "It is? / Hey, do you think she likes me? / I don't know. Cheerleaders are hard to read that way.", "c": ["Sam", "Gordon"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "No, I'm sorry. My parents don't let us eat junk food.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "WHAT?! / Well, I don't really watch TV. Except for the Muppet Show.", "c": ["Sam", "Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "[FART-LIKE SOUND] / This stupid chair always does that.", "c": ["Chair/Cindy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Neal's dating advice: 'Find out her schedule and memorize it. That way, you can bump into her and say hi.'", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Being lab partners is like getting stranded on a desert island. You never know what might happen.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Hey, man, I heard Kim got an 'A' on her world civ test. / That's great. Huh? / Oh, no, that's right. That was my girlfriend.", "c": ["Daniel", "Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I heard Kim punched you in the chest really hard. / Oh, whoops. That was me! OHH! AAH!", "c": ["Daniel", "Nick"], "jt": ["callback", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "She eats carrot sticks, and she likes Miss Piggy. / So what? The Muppets are cool. / Yeah, Swedish Chef is kinda cool, but Miss Piggy's lame.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "She cut the cheese. / OOH, MY GOD! / That's not funny. / I heard it, man. I swear.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.69, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "It wasn't a squeak. It was the sound of cheese being cut. [GIGGLES]", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I think you're making all of this up because you want me to stop liking her because you like her now. / WHAT?!", "c": ["Sam", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.44, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "You changed your hair. / IT JUST LOOKS REALLY FLAT TODAY.", "c": ["Sam", "Cindy"], "jt": ["callback", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Sam's hair compliment backfire: 'You changed your hair.' Cindy: 'It just looks really flat today.'", "c": ["Sam", "Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I finally got to see Welcome Back, Kotter. You were right. Mr. Woodman is so funny. / Yeah, I'm tellin' ya, that guy is totally underrated.", "c": ["Cindy", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Remember when we used to love Leif Garrett and we used to take my Dynamite magazines out and kiss his picture?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "And we went to see him at the State Fair and cut all the way to the front row. It turned out to be Jack Albertson from Chico and the Man.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Once you do, you'll never be the same again. Plus no one would want to marry you. Why should they buy the cow when they can get the milk for free?", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Thank you, Sylvia Plath. Uh...it's... it's a little dark. We want to sell yearbooks, not tell the truth.", "c": ["Mr. Mainzer"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "'W-A-T-E.' [LAUGHS]", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I just got my period. So what? Deal with it.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "1/8 for $25?! Sam, that's highway robbery! I can get a full page in a Sunday paper for a hundred.", "c": ["Mr. Weir"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Some of the greatest salesmen worked in teams. / Yeah, but we'll both finish sooner if we split up, don't you think?", "c": ["Mr. Weir", "Cindy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Nobody who's 'just a friend' sends a single rose. I know all about single roses. I sent one to your mother, and I know when and why I sent it.", "c": ["Mr. Weir"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Nick? Was he the one that ate all my fruit roll-ups? / Well, you said he could have them. / No, I--I know. I...", "c": ["Mrs. Weir", "Lindsay", "Mr. Weir"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Your mother and I are not taking care of some 'wedlock' baby, while you're off gallivanting at college.", "c": ["Mr. Weir"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "It was the worst $5.00 I've ever spent. And I wish I could get that $5.00 back.", "c": ["Mr. Weir"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "What your father is trying to say is... that your virginity is... a gift.", "c": ["Mrs. Weir"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I was gonna say she said she thought you were the nicest guy in the school. / Cindy said that? / Yeah.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Sam, Bill's been in love with Melissa Karpinski ever since he stood behind her at the Dairy Queen. She was wearing this halter top. [GROANS] She is one foxy lady.", "c": ["Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "She doesn't cut the cheese. [BOTH LAUGH] / Come on! Everybody cuts the cheese.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "You really think I'll fill out? / Yeah, not like me, though. In 3 years, I'm going to be enormous. / Oh, yeah. Me, too. My dad is 6'3\".", "c": ["Bill", "Neal", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "SURELY YOU WILL. / OK. / DON'T CALL ME SHIRLEY. [LAUGHS] / BILLY, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GROWN MAN NAKED?", "c": ["Sam", "Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["callback", "observational"], "cr": 5.22, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I know I smell, Sam. / W-W-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? / I may be smelly, but I'm not stupid.", "c": ["Gordon", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "It's a medical condition. It's called tryptophanuria. It's genetic. / WOW! Is there a cure? / Not yet, but research is progressing.", "c": ["Gordon", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Nice people don't care, and it weeds out the jerks. My mom says it's a gift.", "c": ["Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I'll try not to stink up the joint. [SAM LAUGHS] Just kidding. Yeah, I know.", "c": ["Gordon", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Sam imitating Cindy: '[Imitates Cindy] See you after school.'", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "MMM, I love bacon cheeseburgers. / REALLY? / I kinda expected you to like, you know, healthy food like carrots. / YUCK! If I ever saw another carrot again, it'd be too soon.", "c": ["Cindy", "Sam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I have, like, the hugest crush on him. / At last week's game, he asked my friend Joe for my phone number. Do you think that means he likes me?", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "It's not like with you. You're so easy to talk to. You're just like my sister.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Nothing about you and me should never be rushed. I made that mistake before. But I'm not going to make it with you.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "You want to make out or something? / NO. / All guys want to make out. But I just want to hold you.", "c": ["Nick", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "Nick's romantic contradiction: 'All guys want to make out. But I just want to hold you.'", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "I don't need another friend. I already have 2. I mean, how many more friends does a guy need? [BOTH LAUGH]", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "OH...NO! NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT BUSY. Tell me what else happened.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 8, "et": "Girlfriends and Boyfriends"}, {"t": "ARE YOU STONED? [LAUGHING] A LITTLE BIT.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Nick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "WHERE IS JOHN BONHAM RIGHT NOW? Like, is he in the ground rotting away somewhere, or maybe he's up in heaven... partying with Jimi and Janis.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "THESE JOCKS THINK THEY'RE SUCH BADASSES, WALKING AROUND LIKE THEY CURED CANCER. THEY'RE JUST MONKEYS. [IMITATING MONKEY CHATTER]", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["observational", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "I THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE JOINED AT THE TONGUE OR SOMETHING.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "ARE YOU PREGNANT?", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "[CAVEMAN GRUNT] HELLO.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "HE DIDN'T SEEM VERY PUMPED.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "IT'S NOT, LIKE, A CRUSH. IT'S, LIKE, AN OBSESSION.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "THE MASCOT IS DEPRESSING ME. LOOK AT HIM. HE'S RUNNING IN PLACE. WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "IT'S ALWAYS TODD SCHELLINGER.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.49, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "CHEERLEADERS HAVE TO DATE ATHLETES. IT'S THE LAW.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "SEE? HE CAN'T EVEN FALL FUNNY.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "MY COUSIN SLIPPED INTO A COMA ONCE. AND THEN WHEN HE WOKE UP, HE SPOKE FLUENT SPANISH.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["absurdist", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "I REALLY NEED A NEW MASCOT. I REALLY NEED SAM TO BE THE NEW MASCOT.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "SHE WAS PRACTICALLY FEELING YOU UP.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "BUT SAM'S NOT FUNNY.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.61, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "BEING THE SCHOOL MASCOT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "YEAH, SINCE LUNCH.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["callback", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "HELP ME, OBI-WAN KENOBI. YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "YOU HAD TO GO AND QUOTE THE STAR WARS, DIDN'T YOU?", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "I'M A MEMBER OF THE ROTARY, YOU KNOW. AND THE MASONS. AND COUNCILMAN APPLEBEE, JUST LAST WEEK, ASKED ME TO RUN FOR THE SCHOOL BOARD.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "BOY, I COULD BE THE MAYOR, I WOULDN'T GET ANY RESPECT AROUND THIS HOUSE.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "SLEEP TIGHT. DON'T LET THE BEDBUGS BITE.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "HEY, SAM, I HEARD THE MASCOT HAS TO CHANGE WITH THE CHEERLEADERS IN THE GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "REALLY? THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "SHE'S KINDA BOSSY.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "FOR YOUR SAKE, I HOPE NOT.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "YOU BETTER DITCH HIM. HE'S CRAZY.", "c": ["Heidi"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "WELL, YOU KNOW, JUST BE CAREFUL WITH HER BECAUSE SHE'S A LIAR. SHE LIKES TO SCREW PEOPLE OVER.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "THAT GUY WAS AS FUNNY AS A CAR WRECK.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "IF YOU FEEL YOURSELF START TO FALL ASLEEP, PULL OUT A NOSE HAIR. IT'LL WAKE YOU RIGHT UP.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "YOU COULD BE A DANCING YESHIVA STUDENT.", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["absurdist", "observational"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "IT'S ALL POLITICS!", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "I KINDA THINK IT'S FUNNY WHEN THE JOCKS CRY, YOU KNOW? 'OOOOH, THEY CHEATED!' HA HA HA!", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "[SOTTO] DON'T DO IT. PLEASE.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "I'D HATE TO BE THAT GUY'S DRUM SET TONIGHT.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "I WANTED TO BE FUNNY. VICKI DIDN'T WANT COMEDY.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "BE CAREFUL NOT TO PULL THEIR BRA STRAPS... 'CAUSE THEY'LL WIGGLE, AND YOU'LL FALL.", "c": ["Herbert"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "THAT BETTER HAVE BEEN WATER. THAT'S ALL I'M SAYIN'.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "I THINK HE'D BE CUTE WITH THAT MASK ON AND EVERYTHING. IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY.", "c": ["Jean"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "[WHISPERS] I'm not here.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "SHE'S, UM... UH, OUT WITH HER FATHER. YEAH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING, BUT THEY'RE OUT THERE DOING IT.", "c": ["Jean"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "LINDSAY, I DON'T LIKE TO LIE.", "c": ["Jean"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "ARE YOU GONNA ANSWER ME, KEENNN?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "FINE. IF THIS ISN'T KEN, YOU BETTER NOT CALL BACK HERE... OR I'LL FIND YOU.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "I FEEL LIKE... A MOTHER, YOU KNOW?", "c": ["Jean"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "YOU'RE ON MY LEG.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM HE'S A GREASEBUCKET, AND YOU DESERVE BETTER?", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "I GOT TO FORM A HUMAN PYRAMID ON TOP OF HER.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "misdirection"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "WELL, THAT'LL DO IT.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.26, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "MAYBE HE JUST GETS SO HORNY, HIS BRAIN FRIES, YOU KNOW?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "OH, IS THAT WHY YOU'RE SUCH A BASTARD TO ME?", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.81, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "YEAH. WELL, YOU'RE STILL HERE, AREN'T YA?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 8.06, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "A MILLION THINGS. YOU FALL ON IT. YOU STAB YOURSELF. YOU STAB THE OTHER MASCOT.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "A NORSEMAN IN HAWAII. THAT'S FUNNY!", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "I CAN'T BE SEEN WITH YOU.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "TELL MY MOTHER THAT I LOVE HER.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "TODD'S A JERK. HE'S NOT EVEN NICE TO YOU. HE'S ALL COCKY. IT'S JUST STUPID THAT YOU LIKE HIM.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "YOU THINK STEVE MARTIN ALWAYS FEELS LIKE BEING FUNNY? NO, BUT HE GOES OUT ON THAT STAGE EVERY NIGHT WITH HIS ARROW AND HIS BANJO, AND HE KILLS.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.6, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "TEENAGERS. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "MOM, DID YOU BREAK UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "MAN WITH A BIG HEAD COMING THROUGH.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "OH, I STABBED MYSELF! OH, MY GOD. HE'S GONNA DIE. HELP ME. I'M DYING.", "c": ["Neil"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 9, "et": "We've Got Spirit"}, {"t": "NICE MUFFLER!", "c": ["Kim", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 4.88, "im": 4.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "OK, ONE THING THAT HELPS... POINT YOUR BOOBS TOWARDS THE ROAD.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "REDNECK! OOPS...I MEAN... COOL GUY. COME ON!", "c": ["Kim or Lindsay"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "I KNOW, LINDSAY. IT MEANS, 'HEY, STRANGER, PLEASE LOCK ME IN YOUR CAR, DRIVE ME TO GOD KNOWS WHERE AND MURDER ME.'", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "I BET SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE PARENTS.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "NO...HE SUCKS.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "IT'S GOIN'. GREAT. YEAH. IT IS GREAT. IT'S NEVER BEEN GREATER.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "MAYBE THEY'RE SCARED OF YOU.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "MAYBE I'M UNBELIEVABLY GOOD. BUT ARE THEY EVER GONNA FIND OUT? UH-UH. NO.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "AND WE'LL GET SENT TO TELEPHONE PRISON.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["absurdist", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "I HAD A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE ONCE. OH, YEAH. UP ON MAPLE DRIVE. MMM. THEN KIM'S FATHER LEFT ME WITH 2 KIDS, AND A HUGE MORTGAGE AND, WELL... THAT'S LIFE, HUH?", "c": ["Mrs. Kelly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "CHIP, MY OLDEST, OH, HE'S A DOLL. HE'S GOT WATER IN HIS BRAIN, BUT, OH, HE'S A SWEET KID.", "c": ["Mrs. Kelly"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.52, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "WELL SHE AIN'T THE SHARPEST CRAYON IN THE BOX.", "c": ["Mrs. Kelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "OH, SHE WON'T DO HER HOMEWORK, BUT SHE'S GOT A FREAKIN' NOVEL IN THERE.", "c": ["Mrs. Kelly"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "DAD, JUST BECAUSE KIM'S MOTHER IS INSANE-- NO, SHE'S NOT INSANE, HONEY, SHE'S PRACTICALLY A SAINT.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Harold"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "AND THAT'S WHAT KIM KELLY IS: A BAD BANANA.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "SPOONING WITH A STRANGER IN THE BACK SEAT OF A VAN, THAT'S A VIOLATION!", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "NO. NO, I LIKE PLAYING BACK-UP RIGHT.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "YEAH. AND, UH, I'M MARRIED TO RAQUEL WELCH. IN MY DREAMS.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "HE SAID YOU'RE A BAD BANANA. AREN'T THEY QUEER?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.75, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "YOU'RE NOT SMART, YOU DO DRUGS, YOU HAVE SEX... STUPID STUFF LIKE THAT.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "THESE STAMPS... I HEARD THE KIDS PUT LSD ON THE BACK OF THEM.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "AHA! BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. OUR LITTLE DAUGHTER WITH A... SEWING KIT.", "c": ["Harold", "Jean"], "jt": ["misdirection", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "WARNING TO ALL SNOOPS! DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS PAGE. IF YOU READ ON, IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO LIFE AND NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO PRY INTO MINE.", "c": ["Lindsay (diary)"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "A DIFFERENT WORD FOR COURAGE. NOT...OH.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "2 OF THE WORST ONES ARE MOM AND DAD. / THEY ARE THE MOST BORING REPRESSED PEOPLE ON THE FACE OF THE ENTIRE EARTH.", "c": ["Lindsay (diary)", "Harold", "Jean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "ANYWAY, CAN ROBOTS REALLY BE IN LOVE?", "c": ["Lindsay (diary)"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "WHO'S SCARED HIS PENIS WILL FALL OFF", "c": ["Lindsay (diary)"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "THE WORST WOULD BE GETTING EATEN ALIVE BY WOLVES. FROM THE FEET UP. / UH-UH. NO. IT'D BE WORSE IF YOU WERE, LIKE, A DEEP-SEA DIVER, AND YOU CAME UP TOO QUICK AND YOUR HEAD, LIKE, EXPLODED.", "c": ["Daniel", "Ken"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, DO DRUGS... OH, YEAH, AND HAVE SEX.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "BEFORE OR AFTER YOU SHAVE?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "HELLO. THIS IS MAURICE. ANY MESSAGES?", "c": ["Dr. Schweiber"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "observational"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "WE'D CALL BACK AN HOUR LATER AND GO, 'HELLO. THIS IS MAURICE. ANY MESSAGES?'", "c": ["Dr. Schweiber"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "FREDRICKS? YOU'RE A TURD. A STINKY, FAT TURD. GO SNIFF A JOCKSTRAP, YOU POOP-HEAD. YOU LOVE PATTING BOYS' BUTTS. BUTT-- YOU BUTT PATTER. YOU'RE A PERV AND A LOSER... AND A STINKY...TURD.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 5.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "OH, THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE. YEAH. SHE THINKS SHE'S THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND OR SOMETHING.", "c": ["Nick", "Kim"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "OH! AND YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD HER SPEAKING SPANISH. 'UN MOMENT--UN MOMENT. KIM--KIM!'", "c": ["Daniel", "Ken"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.1, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "WELL, YEAH. WITH YOU. YEAH, AND I'M A BAD MAN.", "c": ["Kim", "Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "YOU... ARE A SEX-CRAZED DRUG ADDICT. SCREW YOU!", "c": ["Daniel", "Kim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "YOU... ARE A SEX-CRAZED DRUG ADDICT. / SCREW YOU!", "c": ["Daniel", "Kim"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "WHAT'D YOU DO, PUT POISON IN A BIRD FEEDER?", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "JEAN, YOU KNOW WE CAN AFFORD TO BUY FULLY GROWN CHICKENS.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "JEAN, YOU KNOW WE CAN AFFORD TO BUY FULLY GROWN CHICKENS.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "LINDSAY, WATCH OUT! THAT LITTLE MINIATURE BIRD OF YOURS IS TRYING TO ESCAPE! BUT DON'T WORRY! MY LITTLE CHICKEN WILL HELP HIM 'CAUSE I'M A BRAVE LITTLE CHICKEN!", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "SMOOTH MOVE, ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL.", "c": ["Coach Fredricks"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "I BLOW MY NOSE IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION. THAT'S NOT IN THERE. IT ISN'T?", "c": ["Bill", "Coach"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "OK. A GUY GOES INTO A BAR WITH A PIG WITH A WOODEN LEG.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.15, "im": 4.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "BUT I COULD BE GOOD. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I KNOW I COULD BE GOOD.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "BUT I COULD BE GOOD. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I KNOW I COULD BE GOOD. / BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU GET PICKED LAST. / YES, IT IS. I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT ALL THE POWER.", "c": ["Sam", "Coach"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "KIM? SHE'S LIKE THE RAWEST NERVE THERE IS. YEAH. SHE'S LIKE A BODY WITHOUT SKIN.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "I NEED A POWER HITTER WHO CAN HUSTLE IN THE FIELD, WITH A STRONG ARM. GIMME WEIR. / YES! HA HA HA!", "c": ["Sam", "Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "OH, MAN, THE GEEKS HAVE INHERITED THE EARTH.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "ON THE ROAD IS ABOUT BEING ON THE ROAD.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "ON THE ROAD IS ABOUT BEING ON THE ROAD. / [LAUGHTER] THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD. YOU...GO ON.", "c": ["Kim", "English Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "I HATED THE BOOK, ALL RIGHT? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S ABOUT, AND THE WRITER WAS CLEARLY ON DRUGS WHEN HE WROTE IT.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "WELL, I THINK KIM'S RIGHT. KEROUAC WAS HIGH ON BENZEDRINE DURING THE 3 WEEKS HE TOOK TO WRITE ON THE ROAD.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.7, "im": 8.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "HEY, MAN, SURE HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH YOUR WIFE LAST NIGHT. MY WHAT?", "c": ["Opposing Player", "Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "I JUST ALWAYS WANTED TO CALL A MEETING ON THE MOUND. THIS IS SO COOL.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "THAT'S THE FIRST OUT, YOU MORONS!", "c": ["Coach or opposing team"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "THAT'S THE FIRST OUT, YOU MORONS! / HUH? OH. WELL... ONLY 8 2/3 MORE INNINGS TO GO.", "c": ["Coach", "Geeks"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "NO. NORMAL FOOD IS POT ROAST. NORMAL FOOD IS MEAT LOAF. IT IS DEAD ANIMAL, AND IT IS NOT ON FIRE.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "WE ARE NOT ROBOTS, AND THINGS DO NOT NEED TO CHANGE. I LIKE HOW THINGS ARE. I LIKE EATING THE SAME THINGS. AND YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE THINGS I LIKE.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "YOU LIKE ME LIKE YOU LIKE A POT ROAST? I LOVE POT ROAST!", "c": ["Jean", "Harold"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "I THINK OF YOU WHEN I'M... STOCKING FISHING POLES, AND... I THINK OF YOU WHEN I'M ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT CROSS-COUNTRY SKI WAX.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "EWW! OH, GOD. LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.", "c": ["Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "OH, MY GOD. LINDSAY... YOUR PARENTS ARE SWINGERS.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 10, "et": "The Diary"}, {"t": "MY FRIEND WAS WONDERING, UH... IF I GAVE YOU A JOINT, WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME?", "c": ["Unknown Student"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 5.13, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "WE'RE GONNA BLOW THE ROOF OFF HIS GARAGE IN A MOST ROCK-TAGIOUS WAY", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "MY DAD EVEN CALLS IT BETTY", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "OH! SQUIRREL! Lindsay WHOA! JEEZ, MY NECK!", "c": ["Lindsay", "Kim"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "JUST RUN OVER THE STUPID SQUIRREL, LINZE", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "LINDSAY, YOU ARE A TERRIBLE DRIVER", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "HOW FAR IS THIS PLACE, JAPAN?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 5.18, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YEAH. YEAH. ROLL DOWN THE WINDOWS 'CAUSE I GOT A BIG ONE A-BREWING", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 4.83, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "THOSE MILLER FARTS ARE UNBELIEVABLE", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "OH, MY GOD.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "I HATE BEING IN SCHOOL AFTER IT'S OUT. MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A JANITOR", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "JANITORS ARE COOL. I'D LIKE TO BE A JANITOR", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "WHY? SO YOU CAN SHOW UP WITH THE RED SAWDUST AFTER A KID THROWS UP?", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "NO. 'CAUSE JANITORS MAKE WAY MORE THAN TEACHERS", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "BECAUSE I'M A GIRL", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.68, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "IT'S THE HAIR", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YEAH. ALL THE MEN MY MOM DATES HAVE FEATHERED HAIR", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "SHE SAID ANY GUY WITH FEATHERED HAIR IS FOXY", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "THAT'S WOMEN. THEY GET TURNED ON BY WEIRD STUFF", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.48, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "HEY, LADY, SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY. YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL A LITTLE UPSET HERE", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "CALM THE HELL DOWN, ALL RIGHT?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "HEY, HEY, HEY, GUYS! TAKE IT EASY. IT'S BOTH YOUR FAULTS", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "HEY, LADY. THERE'S SOMETHING YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE HEARD OF. IT'S CALLED INSURANCE", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YEAH. WHO WANTS TO BE NEAR YOU ANYWAYS. YOU'RE TOO SEXY", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "I CAN SEND MY OWN DAUGHTER TO JAIL. YOU KNOW THAT?", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YOU'LL BE COMING HOME RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL AND SITTING IN YOUR ROOM. NO STEREO, NO RADIO, NO TV, NO NOTHING", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.62, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "DON'T WORRY. [SIGHS] I WON'T.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "IF YOU WANT, I CAN GO GET MY UNO DECK", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "KATIE GOT SO NERVOUS WHEN SHE WENT UP TO DO HER ROUND THAT SHE GOT A BLOODY NOSE. AND THEN, SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT. SHE HAD TO SNEEZE, AND SHE BLEW BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "WELL, NO, BUT... SHE WAS GONNA", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "OH, MAN. HOW AM I GONNA GET THIS ON WITHOUT MESSING UP MY HAIR?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "BOY, I CAN JUST IMAGINE HOW MUCH THOSE PIRATES ARE GONNA CHARGE ME", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "JUST PRETEND YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT CARS. BUT I DON'T. THEY CAN SMELL IT, THE BLOODSUCKERS", "c": ["Harold", "Jean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "SAMMY, YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME. JUST LIKE ONE OF THE HARDY BOYS", "c": ["Jean"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "HA HA HA HA! WHAT, DID YOU JUST COME FROM CHURCH?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "NO. NOT AT ALL. HE WAS REALLY HAPPY THAT I STOLE HIS CAR AND SMASHED IT", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "MAYBE YOU'RE JUST ON YOUR PERIOD", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.93, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YEAH, DANIEL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT. I'M ON MY PERIOD. YOU FIGURED IT OUT. IT WAS A JOKE. OH, SORRY. IT'S HARD TO PICK UP ON THE SUBTLETY OF YOUR WIT", "c": ["Lindsay", "Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "LOOK, I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT BEING SMART OR GOING TO SCHOOL OR ANYTHING ELSE, BUT JUST BECAUSE YOUR LIVES ARE SUCH LOST CAUSES, DON'T KEEP ASSUMING THAT MINE IS", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY. SHUT UP", "c": ["Kim", "Daniel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, WHO ASKED HER TO HANG OUT WITH US ANYWAYS? LIKE WE NEED HER LITTLE JUDGMENTS ALL THE TIME", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "IT'S LIKE HANGING OUT WITH MY GRANDMA", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "I'M GONNA WAIT FOR MY DAD TO DIE SO I INHERIT HIS COMPANY. THEN I'M GONNA SELL IT AND MOVE TO HAWAII", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "I'M GONNA BE, LIKE, A LAWYER OR SOMETHING. I'M GONNA PUT THE POLE ON TRIAL. I'M GONNA GET GUYS OUT OF JAIL AND STUFF", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "LINDSAY'S REALLY DEPRESSED THAT I BROKE UP WITH HER. SHE'S GOT TO GET OVER IT THOUGH, YOU KNOW?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "NO. I'M GONNA BE A DEEJAY, MAN. AND MAYBE, UM, A LUMBERJACK", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "THE NAME OF THE COMPANY IS TEXAS INSTRUMENTS, BUT I HEARD IT'S MADE IN TAIWAN", "c": ["Erin"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "HE SAYS EINSTEIN DID FINE WITHOUT ONE AND SO SHOULD I", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "HE CALLED YOU THE HUMAN CALCULATOR. I THINK HE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.8, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YOUR HAIR'S NOT LONG ENOUGH TO BE FEATHERED. I THINK IT LOOKS WEIRD, LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO BE ALL FANCY OR SOMETHING", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "MY MOM ALWAYS SAYS THAT YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY WITH WHAT THE GOOD LORD GAVE YOU. WELL, THE GOOD LORD GAVE YOU A LOT, GORDON", "c": ["Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "MY WHOLE FAMILY'S BIG-BONED. IT'S GENETIC. BESIDES, THE WORLD LOVES JOLLY FAT GUYS. BURL IVES, JACKIE GLEASON... SANTA CLAUS, UH, CURLY, RAYMOND BURR", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "NO. RAYMOND BURR'S NOT JOLLY. WELL, HE WAS EXTREMELY NICE TO ME AT LAST YEAR'S AUTO SHOW", "c": ["Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.77, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "TODAY IN CHEMISTRY, I SAT ON A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE AND HAD TO GO HOME AND CHANGE MY PANTS", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "SAM, DID YOU WEAR A HAT TODAY? BECAUSE YOUR HAIR LOOKS KIND OF FLAT", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "SAM, YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER DRESSES YOU. HEY, WELL, AT LEAST I DON'T DRESS LIKE A VENTRILOQUIST'S DUMMY", "c": ["Neal", "Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "LOOK AROUND. THE WHOLE SCHOOL DRESSES BETTER THAN YOU DO. CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES, CHANGE YOUR LIFE", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "WE LIVE RIGHT OUTSIDE DETROIT, AND THEY CAN'T FIND A FENDER? NOW I GET 2 WEEKS OF DRIVING AROUND TOWN LOOKING LIKE SOME KIND OF HILLBILLY", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "MOM! YOU ALWAYS GET ME SOMETHING STUPID, LIKE GARANIMALS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "A MAN HAS TO LEARN TO DRESS HIMSELF. YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO CUT THOSE APRON STRINGS SOMETIME", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "THIS IS THE MATHLETES, NOT THE FOOTBALL TEAM. / WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE? IT'S STILL A TEAM", "c": ["Mr. Kowchevski", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YOU WANNA BE A STUD, OR DO YOU WANNA BE A SUPER STUD?", "c": ["Clothing Salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "THIS IS A PARISIAN NIGHTSUIT, AND I PREDICT EVERY TRENDSETTING GUY IN THIS CITY'S GONNA OWN ONE", "c": ["Clothing Salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "BUY THIS GARMENT, AND I GUARANTEE YOU'LL BE PERCEIVED AS A MAN OF DISTINCTION BY THE LADIES", "c": ["Clothing Salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.95, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, I'M NOT A HANDSOME MAN, BUT I LEARNED HOW TO STYLE MY HAIR, STARTED WEARING SOME OF THESE CLOTHES. IT'S BEEN PRETTY COOL", "c": ["Clothing Salesman"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "SHE REJOINS AND GETS INTO COMPETITION IN ONE DAY? THAT'S NOT FAIR!", "c": ["Shelly"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "THIS ISN'T THE LAST CHOPPER OUT OF SAIGON, SO CAN WE PLEASE JUST CRANK DOWN THE DRAMA A NOTCH, OK?", "c": ["Mr. Kowchevski"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "IT'S THE NEW DISCO KEN DOLL! HEY, PULL THE STRING AND MAKE HIM TALK!", "c": ["Jocks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "THAT'S A PARISIAN NIGHTSUIT, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW. A PARISIAN? OOH LA LA!", "c": ["Neal", "Jocks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "NO, NO. IT'S A JUMPSUIT. MY GRANDPA IN FORT LAUDERDALE WEARS THEM ALL THE TIME CAUSE HE'S TOO LAZY TO PUT ON PANTS", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YEAH, I DIDN'T SAY YOU SHOULD DRESS LIKE EVEL KNIEVEL", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE SECRET SERVICE", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "NICE DUDS, JUNIOR", "c": ["Vice Principal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "NOW IF SAM WEARING SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO EXPRESS HIS INDIVIDUALITY MAKES HIM A 'HOMO,' WELL, THEN, I GUESS WE SHOULD ALL BE PROUD TO BE 'HOMOS.'", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "THE, UH, THE MONSTER MANUAL. IT'S A DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS HANDBOOK. DO YOU PLAY? NO. YOU SHOULD. YOU'D MAKE A GOOD DUNGEON MASTER. I CAN TELL", "c": ["Harris", "Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "NO, YOU'RE NOT A LOSER, 'CAUSE YOU HAVE SEX. BUT, IF YOU WEREN'T HAVING SEX, THEN WE COULD DEFINITELY DEBATE THE ISSUE", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. SOMEONE SENT MY DAD A CARD WITH THAT ON IT FOR HIS 65TH BIRTHDAY", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY, HARRIS. YEAH, I MEAN, YOU DO YOUR OWN THING. YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF. YOU GOT IT PRETTY FIGURED OUT. YEAH, I GUESS I DO. I DON'T HAVE SEX, THOUGH", "c": ["Daniel", "Harris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "'SCUSE ME. AREN'T YOU DANNY TERRIO FROM DANCE FEVER? NO, I TOLD YOU, IT'S CHRISSY FROM THREE'S COMPANY", "c": ["Jocks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "ALAN, HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO YOU HAVE TO REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE NOT GAY TO BE COOL?", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "SAM, WHEN I WAS ABOUT 20, I WAS HANGING OUT IN THIS HONKY-TONK DOWN SOUTH WHEN A BIG BUNCH OF REDNECKS SURROUNDED ME. STARTED MAKING JOKES ABOUT MY FRINGE VEST, MY HAIR. CALLING ME A HIPPIE, A WOMAN. THEY DRAGGED ME INTO AN ALLEY, MADE ME DANCE, TOLD ME TO BARK LIKE A DOG. DID YOU DO IT? YEAH. PRETTY MUCH HAD TO, THERE WAS 10 OF THEM", "c": ["Mr. Rosso", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "WHAT MATTERS IS THAT I NEVER LOST PRIDE IN WHO I AM", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "IF I SAY I'M THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD AND I BELIEVE I'M THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD, THEN SUDDENLY I BECOME THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "WELL, THEN TAKE A LOOK AT THIS KID. BECAUSE THAT'S A COOL KID", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "DAMN, I'VE NEVER FELT SO STUPID IN MY WHOLE LIFE", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "DID YOU GUYS SEE SHELLY WHEN SHE MISSED THAT SQUARE ROOT PROBLEM? SHE STARTED SWEATING LIKE A PIG", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.03, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "FORGET HER. SHE HAD IT COMING. I MEAN, I KIND OF FELT BAD FOR SHELLY, THOUGH", "c": ["Lindsay", "Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "YEAH, THAT'S WHAT MR. ROSSO SAID. YEAH, AND HE'S COOL. YEAH, BUT I ALREADY THINK I'M COOL. MAYBE THAT'S WHY NOBODY ELSE DOES. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT. I'M REALLY COOL", "c": ["Sam", "Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "I JUST CAN'T DO THIS. IT'S BEEN GREAT HANGING OUT WITH YOU, BUT IT'S JUST NOT WHERE I'M AT ANYMORE. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "A FOREIGN FILM? IS THAT THE KIND YOU HAVE TO READ? WHAT'S THE POINT?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "THE POINT IS TRYING NOT TO BE A DUMB ASS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, THAT'S WHAT", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU'RE FEELING BETTER ABOUT OUR BREAK-UP. I THINK YOU'RE HANDLING IT REALLY WELL", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 11, "et": "Looks and Books"}, {"t": "'CAUSE AT 8:00 YOU CAN'T SAY, \"JANE, YOU IGNORANT SLUT.\"", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "Bill sleeping through the SNL opening while friends try to wake him", "c": ["Bill", "Sam", "Harold"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.94, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "WHY DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS PUT STUFF ON ME?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "YOUR DAD'S THE COOLEST. / I HEARD THAT!", "c": ["Neal", "Harold"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "I THINK IF HE DID, HE'D DIE OF BLOOD LOSS.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "HEY! HEY, YOUR TUBA IS SO BIG AND SEXY! IT MAKES ME HOT LISTENING TO IT, BABY!", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.82, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "THAT'S NOT PLAYING AN INSTRUMENT. IT'S LIKE BLOWING INTO A TOILET.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.34, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "LINDSAY, HERE'S AN IDEA. HOW ABOUT YOU BREAK UP OUR BAND SO YOU CAN MAKE OUT WITH NICK? OH, WAIT, YOU ALREADY DID THAT, THAT'S RIGHT.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.44, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "SHE HAD A TOOTH EMBEDDED IN THE ROOF OF HER MOUTH AND MY DAD HAD TO SUCTION OUT, LIKE, A GALLON OF BLOOD.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.41, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "WELL, WHAT A CHARMING STORY.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, THE WELFARE ROLLS ARE FULL OF VIDEO GAME PLAYERS. / NO, THEY'RE NOT. / WELL, THEY'RE GONNA BE. TRUST ME.", "c": ["Harold", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.5, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "DON'T EVEN TRY IT.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "I THINK I'M GONNA GO PEE.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.17, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "JUST BE A BITCH. / I DON'T KNOW-- / LOOK, THIS IS FOR HIS OWN GOOD.", "c": ["Kim", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "IT'S LIKE THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE, ALL RIGHT? LITTLE RABBIT GETS TIRED, GUESS WHO WINS?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING?", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "EVERY TIME I SWING THAT RACKET, EVERYTHING JIGGLES.", "c": ["Neal's Mom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "THE ONLY THING I'M MISSING IS THE LITTLE HAT AND THE MINI-BAR IN THE BACK OF THE BUICK.", "c": ["Neal's Mom"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "BABY ANGEL.", "c": ["Neal's Mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.01, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "CIAO. HA HA!", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "WELL, LOOKS LIKE YOU ATE 'EM. / OHH.", "c": ["Amy", "Kim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "WHEN ARE THE TWINS DUE?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "NO, HE'S JUST A PAIN IN MY ASS.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL BET HE WOULDN'T SAY THAT IF HE WAS THE ONE DOING THE COOKING, RIGHT? HA HA. MOO.", "c": ["Microwave Salesman"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.02, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "[CAPTAIN KIRK VOICE] WELL, SCOTTY, I HOPE YOU'RE NOT PLANNING TO COOK A TRIBBLE, BECAUSE I BELIEVE THEY'RE BETTER BARBECUED.", "c": ["Dr. Schweiber"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "NOT REALLY FUNNY AT ALL.", "c": ["Dr. Schweiber"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "DON'T LEAVE ME HANGIN', NOW.", "c": ["Dr. Schweiber"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "MAN, WHY DO I NEED TO GO TO A LASER SHOW WHEN I CAN MAKE MY OWN, IN MY MIND?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "YEAH, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE YOUR HAND UP WENDY FRANKLIN'S SHIRT.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.29, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "IS IT JUST ME OR DID IT GET A LITTLE CHILLY IN HERE?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "WATCH HER RUN, JUST LIKE A LITTLE RABBIT. I AM THE TORTOISE.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "SO, I WAKE UP THIS MORNING, AND GUESS WHAT IS SITTING ON THE END OF MY BED? / A TURD?", "c": ["Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.57, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "A TURD? YES, BILL, A TURD. AN ATARI VIDEO SET.", "c": ["Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "WELL, THERE'S A LOT OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF HUGGING. I MEAN, WAS HE PATTING HER ON THE BACK WHILE HE DID IT, LIKE GUYS DO?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "BILL, I'M QUITE SECURE WITH MY MANLINESS. IT'S OK TO HUG YOUR FRIENDS, SAM.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "REMEMBER THAT TIME IN SCIENCE CLASS WHEN I TRIED TO SNEAK OUT A FART BUT IT CAME OUT A POOP AND THEN I HAD TO FLUSH MY UNDIES DOWN THE TOILET?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "WE'VE BEEN WAITING SINCE THE THIRD GRADE FOR YOU TO LIKE SOMEBODY. IT'S GREAT.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "YOU THINK SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND? / NOT EVEN AN EX. SHE'S A TUBA PLAYER.", "c": ["Ken", "Daniel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "OH, HEY, DON'T FORGET TO LIFT THE SEAT THIS TIME OR MY MOM WILL KILL YOU.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.77, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A DAD. / I DO TOO! I TALKED TO HIM 3 MONTHS AGO.", "c": ["Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "HEY, GUYS, I'M SO LONELY. / WE HAVE TO GO. / CAN'T YOU HANG AROUND? WE COULD HAVE, LIKE, A LITTLE ASTEROIDS CONTEST, OR, UH, BENNY HILL.", "c": ["Neal", "Sam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE AFFAIRS?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "NO, BACK. BACK. BAD TONGUE.", "c": ["Dr. Schweiber"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "IT'S JUST-- IT GETS SO HARD, SAM. I FEEL THAT THERE'S SOMETHING MISSING IN MY LIFE", "c": ["Dr. Schweiber"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "IT'S JUST-- IT GETS SO HARD, SAM. I FEEL THAT THERE'S SOMETHING MISSING IN MY LIFE", "c": ["Dr. Schweiber"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "I SAW THIS DONAHUE ONCE ABOUT HUSBANDS THAT CHEAT. YOU CAN'T DO IT AT HOME, RIGHT? SO THEY ALL HAD SECRET LOVE NESTS.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "I FEEL ODD.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "I'M GONNA SAY, HEY, LADY, YOU WANT TO MESS WITH THE SCHWEIBER FAMILY? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? OK--BOOM! / HEAD BUTT!", "c": ["Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "DON'T YOU JUST WANT TO REACH OUT AND TOUCH THEM?", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "I'D BE HAPPY JUST TO GET A WIFE. BUT I DON'T THINK I WANT THE KIND THAT'S GONNA GET OLD AND FAT.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE COOL, GUYS? TO FIND A GIRL IN A BOTTLE, LIKE--LIKE I DREAM OF JEANNIE. I'D LIKE TO MAKE OUT WITH HER ON THAT LITTLE COUCH.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "TO FIND A GIRL IN A BOTTLE, LIKE--LIKE I DREAM OF JEANNIE. I'D LIKE TO MAKE OUT WITH HER ON THAT LITTLE COUCH.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "ELIZABETH... I'M COMIN' TO JOIN YOU, HONEY.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "YOU ARE SEEING IT FOR FREE. I PAID FOR YOUR TICKET. / YEAH, A WHOLE $2.00. HOW YOU GONNA LIVE WITHOUT IT?", "c": ["Ken", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "YEAH. NEXT TIME, YOU SHOULD BRING YOUR TUBA AND...JAM.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "BOY, YOU MUST'VE BEEN REALLY CUTE IN FIFTH GRADE...WITH YOUR LITTLE BLOND PIGTAILS.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "DID YOU LEAN YOUR HEAD BACK WITH THAT SLUT?", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "THAT'S NEXT WEEK, MAN. TONIGHT'S SOUTHERN ROCK NIGHT. YEE-HAW!", "c": ["Laser Dome Employee"], "jt": ["misdirection", "observational"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "LIKE, SHOULD I JUST SAY, YOU KNOW / YEAH. THAT'S PERFECT. / YEAH? / WHAT ARE YOU, A FREAKING 'MO?", "c": ["Ken", "Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "I JUST... DIDN'T WANT TO... LEAD YOU ON, AND I KNOW IT'S SO STUPID, BUT... I THOUGHT THAT YOU MIGHT STILL LIKE ME. WOW. YOU'RE REALLY CONCEITED.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "WOW. YOU'RE REALLY CONCEITED.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "I WANT TO KISS YOU. / UM... / OK.", "c": ["Ken", "Amy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "YEAH. MAYBE YOU CAN TEACH ME ABOUT THOSE SPACE INVADERS. HUH? / OH... / [SOBBING] DAD.", "c": ["Harold", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.71, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "BOY. MUST'VE REALLY WANTED THAT GAME, HUH?", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 12, "et": "The Garage Door"}, {"t": "Student questioning cafeteria worker about meat recycling: 'So is it the same meat? Are you guys recycling the meat?' 'It's different meat.' 'Yeah, well... I guess you would have to say that, right?'", "c": ["Student", "Cafeteria Worker"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "'Excellent choice, sir' - lunch lady's sarcastic response", "c": ["Lunch Lady"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Daniel: 'Some Salisbury dog meat for us, please.'", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["callback", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.81, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Lindsay: 'You're kinda stoned.' Nick: 'I'm very stoned.'", "c": ["Lindsay", "Nick"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Mark's dad destroying grow lights: 'My dad found my grow lights, and he ran over them with his car.' 'He better have.'", "c": ["Mark", "Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Harold struggling with TV channel selection - multiple failed attempts", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.5, "im": 4.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Harold: 'Sam, who's your favorite Angel?' Sam: 'I like Bosley.' Harold: 'Bosley? Nobody watches this show for Bosley.'", "c": ["Harold", "Sam"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Harold's double standard: 'I just think there comes a time in a young man's life when he should begin testing the waters.' Lindsay: 'What about me testing the waters?' 'You can test the waters, too--after you get married.'", "c": ["Harold", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "'The Cindy ship has sailed. It's time to board another vessel.'", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Neal's metaphor: 'The Cindy Sanders of this world are just...hors d'oeuvres. Vicki is a 5-course meal.' Sam: 'Horwhat?'", "c": ["Neal", "Sam"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "'Hey, Bill. Bill, you want some crushed nuts with your sundae?' Bill: 'My what?' 'OHH!'", "c": ["Bully", "Bill"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.28, "im": 4.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Bill: 'That guy needs a new joke.'", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.17, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Bill's allergy list escalation: 'Well, a lot of things are on that list--like, bees and air and cats and dogs. Well, not dogs. Well, some dogs. If I eat a peanut, I could die.'", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Alan: 'So don't eat 'em, dork.' Bill: 'I don't. If I did, I could die.'", "c": ["Alan", "Bill"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Bill oversharing: 'Like...like, Neal has psoriasis, which is like lizard skin. And Sam passes out if he even thinks about blood.'", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Neal's psoriasis defense: 'Hey. It's called psoriasis, and 10% of the population will suffer from it at some point in their life. It's nothing to be ashamed of.'", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.13, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Neal's detailed psoriasis statistics", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Sam vs Bill romantic prospects: 'I got a better chance with Miss Foote than you have with Vicki, and I don't have a chance at all.'", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Daniel on Nick's pot sharing: 'You haven't passed a joint in your life.'", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Nick's desperation: 'I almost smoked my mom's ferns last night.'", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Teacher's Bill peanut joke: 'And for being Bill's mortal enemy. Because get it, Bill? You're allergic to peanuts.'", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.36, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Bill: 'You know, Bill, you're not a geek.' 'Tell that to the rest of the world.'", "c": ["Miss Foote", "Bill"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Gordon's sci-fi enthusiasm: 'I don't like sci-fi. I love, love, love it!'", "c": ["Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Nick's natural argument: 'It's from the earth. It's natural. Why would it be there if we weren't supposed to smoke it?' Lindsay: 'Dog crap is here, and we don't smoke that.'", "c": ["Nick", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Nick's stoned music appreciation: 'Oh, shhh... listen to this drum fill. Ohh! That guy is amazing. Do you know how hard that is?'", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Lindsay's pot criticism vs Nick's defense: 'What's the highlight of your week? Sitting on your couch eating chips, dreaming of Drakes Cakes?' 'It's better than sitting there with a board up my butt, like you.'", "c": ["Lindsay", "Nick"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Nick's dramatic pot disposal: 'Here, you see it? I'm really addicted. How am I gonna live without it?' [flushes pot]", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Peanut sandwich investigation: 'This is crunchy.' 'So?' 'Like...like peanuty crunchy.'", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.89, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Hospital word choice: 'Could you not use the word \"die\" in a hospital?' 'You asked if he was still alive.' 'That's an optimistic question. Alive is good. Die is bad. Trust me on this. My dad's a dentist.'", "c": ["Jean", "Sam"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Floyd confusion: 'I saw them at the Pyramids.' 'The Egyptian Pyramids?' 'Uh, I don't think they've ever played the Pyramids.' 'Oh, yeah. You're right. It was the Dead.'", "c": ["Frank", "Daniel", "Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Ken's laser dome experience: 'I saw Floyd at the laser dome. They weren't there, but it was their music.'", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.09, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Russo's rhetorical question: 'How dumb do I look?' Daniel: 'Do you really want to know?'", "c": ["Mr. Russo", "Daniel"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Ghost Bill friendship: 'Maybe he'd be like Casper the Friendly Ghost. He'd hang out with us, and no one would talk to him but us... and people would catch us talking to him, and they would think we were crazy--like Wilbur on Mr. Ed.'", "c": ["Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Stoner existential crisis: 'What do people do when they're not stoned?' 'I don't know.' 'Relate to one another?'", "c": ["Nick", "Ken"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Lindsay's excuse: 'I have... woman problems.' Harold: 'I don't want to hear about it.'", "c": ["Lindsay", "Harold"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Millie's drug awareness: 'You're high.' 'What?!' 'You're on the pot.' 'How could you tell?' 'I'm not dumb, Lindsay. I know what high people look like. I went to a Seals and Crofts concert last summer.'", "c": ["Millie", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["misdirection", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Millie's moral stance: 'Fine. I'll go with you. But only for the safety of the child.' Lindsay: 'Thank you, Millie.' 'No, thank your dealer.'", "c": ["Millie", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Alan's childhood memory: 'I remember, like, in the fourth grade, I used to think you guys were, like, really cool. And this one time, you brought a model of the Saturn 5 in for show-and-tell, and I asked you guys if I could shoot off rockets with you, and you said no.'", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Jean's pregnancy confession: 'When I was pregnant with Sam, I didn't think twice about nutrition. I was drinking a lot back then... getting high, poppin' pills.'", "c": ["Jean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Jean's baby dropping confession: 'When Sam was 4 months old... I... dropped him on a brick patio. He had a hairline fracture of the skull.'", "c": ["Jean"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 6.06, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Millie's faith vs Lindsay's logic: 'I don't believe in God.' 'I know. That's why you're unhappy. That's why you're stoned.' 'God doesn't make sense. It's not logical.' 'Well, I may not be logical, but I have faith.'", "c": ["Lindsay", "Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Lindsay's existential dog dream: 'What if this is a dream, and it's not even our dream, it's that dog's dream. Maybe we're just existing in his mind, and all of a sudden he'll wake up to go drink out of the toilet, and we'll be gone.'", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Bill's hospital revelation: 'Maureen and Vicki showed up, and they were crying.' 'Really? Because of me?' 'Yeah. They were really worried.' 'Well, if you want, you can tell them that I'm still dying.'", "c": ["Sam", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Food scientist appreciation: 'This is so good. You know why this is so good? Because it was made by food scientists.'", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Alan's aggressive caring: 'I knew you wouldn't die. I can't believe you'd be such a wuss to die from a peanut.' 'Aren't you glad I didn't die?' 'Yeah, I'm glad for my sake. Think I want to end up in juvie for killing you?'", "c": ["Alan", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Bill's manipulation: 'You care about me. I heard everything you said.' 'I don't care about you.' 'Yeah, you do. You think I'm cool. You want me to pound you?'", "c": ["Bill", "Alan"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.68, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Gordon's parking lot costume strategy: 'I put everything on in the parking lot. You know, that way I don't look like a loser all day.'", "c": ["Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "Alan's costume crisis: 'Oh, man. I just can't do it.'", "c": ["Alan"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 13, "et": "Chokin' and Tokin'"}, {"t": "SURE, LINDSAY. YOU CAN GO SEE THE WHO. AND YOU CAN GO SEE THE ROLLING STONES AT ALTAMONT, TOO.", "c": ["Dad"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "WHAT'S NOT FUN ABOUT SITTING AROUND IN A CLOUD OF MARIJUANA SMOKE, WATCHING SOME MANIAC WAG HIS BLOODY TONGUE?", "c": ["Dad"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "THAT'S NOT THE WHO, DAD. THAT'S KISS.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "THE WHO SMASH THEIR GUITARS.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "WE TOOK HER TO SEE RICH LITTLE LAST SUMMER.", "c": ["Mom"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "[IMITATING JOHNNY CARSON] MAY AN OVERFED YAK RELIEVE HIMSELF ON YOUR BUICK.", "c": ["Dad"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "MOM, RICH LITTLE ISN'T A CONCERT.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.24, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "WELL, YOU TELL THAT TO THE 2,000 PEOPLE THAT WERE LAUGHING THEIR BUTTS OFF.", "c": ["Mom"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "SAYS THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS THAT THEY'RE THE LOUDEST BAND ON EARTH.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "HEY, IF I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SEE KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE EVER, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO SEE THE WHO.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.29, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I'LL BE LISTENING TO IT BACKWARDS, TOO.", "c": ["Dad"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.97, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "NICE SHOT, HAVERCHUCK.", "c": ["Coach"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "TOLD YOU NOT TO PASS IT TO HIM.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.67, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "YEAH, A MAGIC SCHOOL BUS.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "YOU CAN'T EVEN PLAY THE GUITAR, THANK GOD.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "MICHAEL, ROW THE BOAT ASHORE HALLELUJAH", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "THIS ISN'T THE CAFETERIA FROM FAME.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "WHO THE HELL'S COCO?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "SHE WAS THAT HOT CHICK WHO TOOK HER SHIRT OFF IN THE MOVIE.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.86, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "OH...DEAD.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I MADE 18 BUCKS IN TIPS TODAY. HOW IS ANYBODY SUPPOSED TO LIVE ON THAT, HUH?", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.98, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA START DANCING AGAIN, ARE YOU?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "BESIDES, THEY DON'T WANT AN OLD BROAD LIKE ME ANYMORE.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "MY GYM TEACHER?!", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER.", "c": ["Gloria"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I HEARD STEVIE NICKS IS A WITCH.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.43, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "SHE DOES WITCH STUFF. SHE CASTS SPELLS ON PEOPLE.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.91, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "CUT OFF A LOCK OF DANIEL'S HAIR AND STICK IT TO A VOODOO DOLL. THAT WAY, WHENEVER HE GETS OUT OF LINE, I'LL JUST JAB HIM WITH A PIN, AND HE'LL SHUT UP.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.21, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "THE WORLD WILL SURVIVE WITH ONE LESS SQUIRREL.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "ROCKY II. MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "BILL MURRAY'S THE FUNNIEST MAN ON THE PLANET.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "BILL MURRAY'S THE FUNNIEST MAN ON THE PLANET.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "WE DON'T HAVE A RESTROOM. WE HAVE A TOILET.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.32, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "[SNORTS] WHO'S GOLIATH?", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.96, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "LIKE, WITH YOUR BARE HANDS?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I ALWAYS SAY...GIRL PLUS CAR EQUALS DEAD ANIMAL.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "THEY'RE STUPID, AND THEY SMELL, AND THEY'RE UGLY. THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE US PEOPLE. THEY PRETEND TO, BUT THEY'RE JUST KISSING OUR ASSES SO WE'LL FEED 'EM. I AIN'T BUYING INTO THAT HOODWINK.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I HEARD RADAR O'REILLY HAS, LIKE, NO FINGERS. THAT'S WHY HE ALWAYS CARRIES A CLIPBOARD.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I'LL SEE YOU IN GYM CLASS, BIG GUY.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.99, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? WHAT--I--WH-WHAT? HE ATE YOUR MOM'S POT ROAST?", "c": ["Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "BOBO. HE WAS SO SMART. HE USED TO SIT WITH ME AND WATCH TV ALL DAY LONG. HE LOVED TV.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.11, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE WOULD START TO FROTH AT THE MOUTH, AND THEN HIS LITTLE LEGS WOULD GET ALL TENSE, AND HE WOULD START SHAKING AND THEN... POOP HIMSELF. AND GET HIS PAWS IN THE POOP AND GET POOP ALL OVER THE PLACE.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.48, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "SHE IS KINDA HOT.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN RUN AROUND A GYM AND SHOOT A STUPID BALL IN A HOOP.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "PICK MY NOSE AND EAT IT...OR READ THE COMICS OR GO TO THE BATHROOM. ALL THOSE ARE BETTER THAN GYM CLASS.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, SHUT YOUR BIG, STINKIN' TRAP, OK?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, CALL MY MOM?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 8.38, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "[WHISPERING] I never thought I'd say this, but Haverchuck's the King!", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "AND YOU WOULD HUMP HER FOOT...AND WE THOUGHT THAT WAS FUNNY...AND THEN YOU GOT SPAYED, AND YOU DIDN'T DO IT ANYMORE.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "observational"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "EVER SINCE MY DOG DIED, THEY'VE BEEN LETTING ME DO ANYTHING.", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "OH, MY GOD. I AM SO BAD.", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "MAMA'S GOT A SQUEEZE BOX, DADDY NEVER SLEEPS AT NIGHT", "c": ["The Who"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "'CAUSE SHE'S PLAYING ALL NIGHT IS IT JUST ME, OR DOES THAT SOUND FILTHY?", "c": ["Harold (Dad)", "Jean (Mom)"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "SHE GOES IN AND OUT AND IN AND OUT AND IN AND OUT", "c": ["The Who"], "jt": ["escalation", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.14, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "'IN AND OUT'? THE INSTRUMENT.", "c": ["Dad", "Jean"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "HE WRITES LIKE A MENTAL PATIENT.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.66, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "THAT MILLIE'S GONNA START HANGING OUT WITH US AND THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANYONE TO RUN TO WHEN YOU GET SCARED OF YOUR BAD FRIENDS?", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.82, "im": 8.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I'M NOT SEEING THAT STRIPES CRAP AGAIN.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "REALLY? I LOVE GO-CART CITY.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "HE'S FAT. AND HE'S NOT EVEN IN GOOD SHAPE. AND HE NEVER RUNS, YOU NEVER SEE HIM PLAY THE GAMES WITH US.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "'WE'? UH...OK. ALL RIGHT. WE CAN ALL GO.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "THE 4 MEN ARE GONNA HAVE SOME FUN.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "IF I WAS SUCH A PRUDE, YOU WOULDN'T EXIST.", "c": ["Dad"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "YOU JUST KEEP THOSE BOYS AWAY FROM YOUR ACCORDION.", "c": ["Dad"], "jt": ["callback", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 7.62, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "HEY, NEAL, I GOT YOU A PRESENT.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "HEY, NEAL, I GOT YOU A PRESENT. ISN'T THAT GREAT?", "c": ["Fredricks"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.45, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "'LADY L'? YOU SHOULDN'T USE YOUR REAL NAME WHEN YOU'RE WRITING THAT STUFF.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "LOTS OF WACKOS USE THEIR REAL EMOTIONS.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.96, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO WIN. ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS WINNING. YOU DON'T CARE AT ALL ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I LIKE IT WHEN THE GOOD GIRLS CROSS OVER.", "c": ["Stroker"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA DROP ACID OR HAVE SEX IN THE PARKING LOT.", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.23, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "YOU THINK I'M A STUPID JOCK GYM TEACHER, RIGHT? BING! YOU--YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "THAT--HE--HE'S A CRACK-UP, RIGHT?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "YOU'RE BUYING ME A NEW GUITAR, MAN.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I KILLED YOUR DOG!", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.63, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "I HEAR THAT THE BATHROOMS SMELL REALLY BAD AND THAT IT'S NOT SAFE TO SIT.", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "COULD YOU IMAGINE HOLDING IT FOR 4 HOURS?", "c": ["Millie"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "IT'S OK. I'LL TELL YOU DURING THE COMMERCIAL.", "c": ["Mr. Fredricks"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 14, "et": "Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers"}, {"t": "WOMEN LOVE THIS. THEY DON'T CARE THAT RERUN'S FAT 'CAUSE HE'S GOT THE MOVES.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "YOU CUT ME OFF MID-FUNK.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.1, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "IF I HAD, I'D BE FIGHTING 'EM OFF WITH A STICK.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.6, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "IT'LL BRING US POWER, RESPECT, AND MONEY, AND IT'S RIGHT HERE IN THE SUITCASE.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "HI, DUMMIES.", "c": ["Morty"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "YEAH, IF YOU LIKE CLOWNS. CLOWNS.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "WHAT, DID YOU EVEN GET YOUR NAME RIGHT AT LEAST?", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "WILLIE TYLER AND LESTER ARE ON THE HOLLYWOOD SQUARES THIS WEEK. I GOTTA WATCH.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR INVITES HIS PATIENTS OVER TO LISTEN TO HIS DENTAL JOKES? IT'S SICK.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "HEY, IT'S CALLED A FIGURE, NOT A DUMMY. A DUMMY IS SOMEONE WHO CALLS IT ONE.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "BET YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME, HUH, STRETCH?", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "PERHAPS YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A LITTLE SHOW CALLED SOAP. I MEAN, THAT GUY'S HILARIOUS. NOW HE'S RICH, THANKS TO VENTRILOQUISM.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "YOU'RE 18. YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE OLDEST JUNIOR IN MICHIGAN.", "c": ["Mrs. Desario"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "I CAN BRING HOME A BIG WHOPPING 2.50 AN HOUR. YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T TURN THAT DOWN.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "WELL, YOU'RE CERTAINLY RELIABLE. YOU'RE ALWAYS A BITCH.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.53, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "IT'S CALLED WEDNESDAY.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "I DIDN'T WANT TO WRITE IT DOWN BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL A TREE. DID YOU KNOW THAT OUR RAINFORESTS ARE DISAPPEARING?", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "YOU MEAN TO SEE JERRY? I LOVE THAT GUY. HE OWES ME MONEY!", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.35, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "[WHISPERING] He's always trying to sleep.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "YOU'RE MANUFACTURING IDIOTS. WHAT KIND OF SYSTEM IS THIS?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "THIS FOOD IS FIT FOR A KING. HERE, KING. HERE, KING.", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "HEY, SEIDELMAN, NICE HEAD. DID IT COME WITH A NECK?", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.78, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "WHY DON'T YOU GO PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE? THERE'S A BUS IN THE PARKING LOT.", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "IT'S SCHWEIBER. YOU TELL 'EM, MORTY.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "HEY, SCHMUCKO, WHY DON'T YOU GO KILL BILL?", "c": ["Sam", "Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? AREN'T YOU THE GUY THAT HAD THAT PSYCHO GIRLFRIEND?", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW WHAT PUNKERS DON'T DO? CALL THEMSELVES PUNKERS.", "c": ["Jenna"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "OR WOULD THEY JUST RUN OUT NAKED? I DON'T KNOW.", "c": ["Bill", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "WOULD ALL THE GIRLS GET DRESSED BEFORE THEY RAN OUT OF THE LOCKER ROOM? OR WOULD THEY JUST RUN OUT NAKED?", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.58, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "HELP ME! [GURGLES]", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "DAMN. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE WEIRS LATELY? YOU ALL LOOK SO HOT.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "HEY, FAT ASS, WHY DON'T YOU SHOVE IT? [LAUGHING]", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 5.03, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "THEY MAKE YOU PICK UP A MEATBALL WITH YOUR REAR END WALK IT TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM. AND IF YOU DROP IT ON THE WAY, THEY MAKE YOU PICK IT UP AND EAT IT.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["absurdist", "escalation"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "WELL, I'M LEANING TOWARDS UNDECLARED. WITH A MINOR IN SITTING ON YOUR ASS.", "c": ["Barry", "Harold"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "NOT REALLY, BUT LOOK HOW EXCITED THEY GET WHEN I SAY IT. UNBELIEVABLE.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "BESIDES, YOU'RE A SCHWEIBER MAN! IRRESISTIBLE TO THE LADIES.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "KISS FOR YOU? NO, NOT FOR ME. CLOSE THE DOOR. OK? IT'S ALL RIGHT.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.3, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "THAT YEAR, HE BOUGHT ME A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.37, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, ALL THESE PUNK GIRLS HATE THEMSELVES. IT'S GOT TO IMPROVE YOUR CHANCES.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.92, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "HEY, UH, EDGAR WINTER CALLED. HE SAYS HE NEEDS HIS HAIR BACK FOR A GIG TONIGHT.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "OH, HERE IT COMES, 'DAD, CAN I BORROW SOME MONEY?'", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "misdirection"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS MOMENT, HUH?", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "NOBODY CALLS ME HARRY. SHH.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "IF ONE MORE PERSON ASKS ME WHAT MY MAJOR IS GOING TO BE, I'M GONNA SNAP. I'M GONNA LOSE IT.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "BARTENDER'S A BASTARD! SHE KEEPS IGNORING ME. SHE'S ONLY SERVED PEOPLE WITH STUPID HAIRCUTS!", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.75, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "FAKAKTE! THAT'S VERY GOOD. THANKS.", "c": ["Lindsay", "Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 5.72, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "YEAH, THAT STUFF, IT'S FAKAKTE. THAT'S THE PERFECT USE OF THAT WORD.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "NO, I SAID, 'LOOK AT ME, I'M THE HANDSOME, DASHING JEW.' AND PEOPLE BOUGHT IT!", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.55, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "YOU KNOW, FANTASY ISLAND IS ON. WE COULD WATCH THAT.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "IT'S CALLED A FIGURE! OH, GOSH. THESE ARTISTIC TYPES, VERY SENSITIVE, YOU KNOW.", "c": ["Neal", "Dr. Schweiber"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "OH, GOSH. THESE ARTISTIC TYPES, VERY SENSITIVE, YOU KNOW.", "c": ["Dr. Schweiber"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.1, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "LOOK AT THAT LADY OVER THERE. HER TEETH ARE SO BAD, SHE SHOULD BE A PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY PLAYER.", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.93, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "ONE'S A DOCTOR OF THE ASS AND THE OTHER'S AN ASS WHO'S A DOCTOR.", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "A BRAND-NEW PAIR OF LEATHER SHOES WILL NEVER GIVE YOU AN UNNECESSARY ROOT CANAL SO HE CAN BUILD AN ADDITION ON HIS HOUSE.", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.18, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "HA, NEXT THING I KNOW I'LL WAKE UP AND MY WISDOM TEETH'LL BE GONE ALONG WITH MY VIRGINITY!", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 8.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "NEXT THING I KNOW I'LL WAKE UP AND MY WISDOM TEETH'LL BE GONE ALONG WITH MY VIRGINITY!", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 5.37, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "BECAUSE HE'S SO STUPID HE FLUNKED OUT OF MEDICAL SCHOOL! HEY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME. YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! THIS WHOLE DENTAL PRACTICE IS OUT OF ORDER!", "c": ["Morty", "Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 6.02, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "SEE? TOLD YOU THAT THING WOULD TAKE HIM OVER.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA RUIN YOUR LIFE. DAD'S CHEATING ON YOU.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.3, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "AND YOU AND MORTY ARE VERY FUNNY.", "c": ["Mrs. Schweiber"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "MY DORM IS RIGHT NEXT TO A FIELD OF COWS. MAKE A RIGHT AT THE COW, AND THERE I'LL BE.", "c": ["Barry"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 15, "et": "Noshing and Moshing"}, {"t": "MY CRAP IS WAY BETTER THAN THIS CRAP", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.99, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "WHY DO PEOPLE SAVE THEIR BOOKS, LIKE...READ A BOOK TWICE?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.79, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THAT WOULD BRING THE ANDOPOLIS DRUM KIT TO AN EVEN 30 PIECES. 31 PIECES.", "c": ["Daniel", "Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "I WAS PLAYING AMERICAN BAND WHILE HE WAS WATCHING 60 MINUTES", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "NICK...WHERE ARE YOUR DRUMS?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.46, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THOSE DRUMS WERE MAKING YOU GO DEAF. OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD HAVE HEARD ALL THE TIMES THAT I TRIED TO TELL YOU TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT", "c": ["Nick's Dad"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.07, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "WITH A LITTLE MORE EFFORT, YOU COULD END UP LIVING IN A CARDBOARD BOX", "c": ["Nick's Dad"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.73, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "MAYBE THE DRUMS ARE MY FUTURE! WHY DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND ON DRUMS AND HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND ON DRUGS?", "c": ["Nick's Dad"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THESE CANS!", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["callback", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 5.19, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THEY GET REASSIGNED TO EUROPE TO WORK ON A TOP SECRET MISSION CONCERNING THE URBAN ASSAULT VEHICLE. THEN THE STUPID BORDER GUYS WOULDN'T LET THEM IN.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "SAM, I JUST BROKE UP WITH TODD", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "DON'T BE! TODD'S A JERK. HE'S ONLY INTERESTED IN ONE THING. ALL THESE JOCKS ARE.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "MY GOD! IT'S HAPPENING! YOU GUYS, WHERE'S MY CHAIR?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.52, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "SHALLOTS? IT'S A POTATO. THEY'RE SHALLOTS, RIGHT?", "c": ["Lindsay", "Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "GRATEFUL DEAD. MUSIC SUCKS. CHICKS ARE HOT!", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.31, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "DOES ANYBODY WANNA GIVE ME A NECK RUB?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "BETTER THAN SLEEPING IN MY MAVERICK", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "HE DOESN'T EVEN LET MY GRANDMA STAY OVER. HE'S GOT ISSUES.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "YOU GOTTA REMEMBER TO FLUSH THE TOILET! MY MOM ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK THIS MORNING.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "I HAD TO PLUNGE--", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "escalation"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "IT'S CALLED 3 IRRATIONAL DAYS PER MONTH", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.6, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "MEN GET PERIODS, TOO. IT HAS TO DO WITH YOUR BODY TIDES.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "MY BODY DOES NOT HAVE A TIDE", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "MY BODY DOES NOT HAVE A TIDE.", "c": ["Harold Weir"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "LET ME GUESS. [SNIFFS] MEAT?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.59, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "IT WOULD...ROCK", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.04, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "I THINK MY SCHOOLWORK WAS INTERFERING WITH MY DRUMS", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.76, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "Harold's mortified reaction to Nick's statement", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "IT'S LIKE YOU COOKED THIS IN HEAVEN...THEN BROUGHT IT BACK DOWN HERE TO YOUR TABLE", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THAT WAS NEAL. HE JUST SAID IT WAS ME", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "NO, I LIKE LIKE SAM", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 5.88, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "CINDY WANTED ME TO FIND OUT IF YOU LI--", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THEN YOU OFFER TO GIVE A BACK RUB. YOU DO IT RIGHT... YOU'RE IN.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.0, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "I WOULDN'T TURN HER AWAY", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.81, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "IF HE TRIES TO GIVE YOU A FOOT MASSAGE...RUN", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "UH, HEY, CINDY, YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME TO MONA'S PARTY? WELL, I WAS KIND OF HOPING THAT SAM WAS GONNA ASK ME, BUT SINCE HE DOESN'T SEEM INTERESTED, OK, THOR.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THEY'RE SMILING.", "c": ["Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "observational"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THEY ARE. BUT THAT'S ONE CULT I WOULDN'T MIND JOINING. BRING ON THE PODS.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "callback"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "YOU'RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE MY DAD, MR. WEIR", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "WELL, THEN, YOUR DAD IS A SMART MAN", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THAT'S NEIL PEART. HE'S THE GREATEST DRUMMER ALIVE. WELL, NEIL PEART COULDN'T DRUM HIS WAY OUT OF A PAPER BAG.", "c": ["Nick", "Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.06, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "NICK WAS SO INTO ME, HE MADE ME WANT TO MOVE TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 7.4, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "I DON'T THINK NICK'S IN LOVE WITH YOU. I THINK HE'S IN LOVE WITH MOM AND DAD.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "FRENCH KISSING IS GROSS. I WOULDN'T FRENCH KISS IN A MILLION YEARS.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "GERMS. SPIT. MUCUS. OLD BITS OF FOOD. THAT'S JUST TO NAME A COUPLE. THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS IN THERE.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.11, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "WHAT IF I THROW UP IN HER MOUTH?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "I'M SAVING MY VIRGINITY FOR THE FUTURE MRS. CRISP", "c": ["Gordon"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THEN YOU ADD OR SUBTRACT A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF TORQUE BASED ON THE POSITION OF YOUR TARGET", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "WE'LL LOOK LIKE THE SMOTHERS BROTHERS", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.71, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "NICE DICKEY!", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.09, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THEY PUT HIM IN THAT ROOM WITH THE BLIND GUY AND THE INDIAN GUY", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.25, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "WHEN I DO, YOU JUST YELL AT ME. THAT'S BECAUSE I EXPECT MORE FROM YOU", "c": ["Lindsay", "Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.05, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "HAROLD, HOW OLD IS YOUR SON? 14. YOU CALL ME WHEN HE TURNS 16.", "c": ["Nick's Dad", "Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "THERE IS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT BOTTLE", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANNA ADOPT ME?", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "YOU'RE A JERK. I COULDN'T BE LESS HAPPY TO BE IN HERE WITH YOU", "c": ["Vicki"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "I WATCH MOVIES IN MY HEAD", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER. AND...EVERY SECOND YOU'RE OUT OF THIS HOUSE, EVERY SECOND THAT I CAN'T SEE YOU OR KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, IT'S...IT'S ABSOLUTE TORTURE FOR ME.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "WHY NOT?", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 7.16, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "BILL, YOUR 7 MINUTES WERE UP 5 MINUTES AGO. VICKI, YOUR NIGHTMARE'S OVER.", "c": ["Party Host"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 16, "et": "Smooching and Mooching"}, {"t": "I wouldn't shop at that big mega-store if you paid me.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.24, "im": 4.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "You know, everyone's a Democrat till they get a little money. Then they come to their senses.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.64, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "The porn star?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["misdirection", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Don't worry about it, Amy. Bush probably doesn't know anything about the tuba.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Amy mimics 'Hail to the Chief' out of tune on tuba", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.7, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "How we ever gonna plan our coup?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.94, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "COOOOOUP. COUP. COUP.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Once you start down that dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. At least that's what Yoda always says.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I mean, not all cheerleaders have to be pretty, but their cheerleaders aren't even remotely pretty. I mean, they're dirty.", "c": ["Todd"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.07, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Hey, not all our cheerleaders are pretty. / You can say that again.", "c": ["Girl", "Todd"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Sam, you're not gonna defend me?", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["awkward_silence", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I like Sam. / What, do you want to see us fight? / I'd like to see that.", "c": ["Girl", "Todd", "Girl"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "MOUSETRAP! I WIN!", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 5.98, "im": 5.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Maybe you can get the school to start a team. / Funny.", "c": ["Neal", "Bill"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.23, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I mean, I'm good at Mousetrap, and you're really good at Kerplunk.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.4, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "All she ever wants to do is make out and stuff. / I'd kill to be that bored.", "c": ["Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.51, "im": 7.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "We went to the mall twice, and we went to this football game once, and after that, we went to a different mall.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "That sounds fantastic.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Because she's a goddess! Am I the last sane man on this godforsaken planet?", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.69, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Hey, pass her over here. I'd move to the mall if she wanted me to.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Um, 'cause I hate it there?", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "How come everyone always thinks I'm joking all the time? Something to do with my voice, isn't it?", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["meta_self_referential", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.93, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I guess raising me wasn't one of the things they learned to do in college.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.39, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "She was the best mommy money could buy.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "But when I was born... I was born with both male and female parts.", "c": ["Amy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.49, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "If I was dating you when you were just born, things might be a little different 'cause of all that stuff. But now you're all girl now, so it's...OK.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I had my appendix out, so, you know, I've been there.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["absurdist", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 8.45, "im": 8.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Maybe because he's the second most powerful man on Earth.", "c": ["Rosso"], "jt": ["escalation"], "cr": 6.19, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Maybe because we live in a country where we can actually question our leaders without fear of being hacked to death by a machete.", "c": ["Rosso"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I guess me and my hippie friends were all just wasting our time at Berkeley demonstrating and stopping an unjust war.", "c": ["Rosso"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.13, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I've got the best job in the world! 12 grand a year, and I'm overpaid.", "c": ["Rosso"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 7.19, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "But, uh, where am I supposed to work? / Sorry, sir, it's not my problem.", "c": ["Rosso", "Secret Service"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.31, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Uh, Crockpot, you're going to get a visual on that bogie. He's coming at you. He's about 6'3\", a real Dr. Feelgood look. Check him out.", "c": ["Secret Service"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I thought the cafeteria food looked a little gross, so I had an apple. / It was actually pretty good. If you like Salisbury steak.", "c": ["Sam", "Cindy"], "jt": ["misdirection"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "They say that Reagan had Iran delay the release of the hostages until after he was elected. You should ask him about that. I bet he flips.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.82, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Oh, Lindsay, that's boring. Nobody wants to hear about that.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.45, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I want to ask him about the aliens at Roswell.", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.05, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Hey, you know what we could do? All the football players are going to these batting cages, like this goofy golf type place, and then afterwards, they're gonna go swim in this lake.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I get it. You want to take your girlfriend out like a real gentleman.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.92, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "You can't even look at me! / I'm looking at you.", "c": ["Amy", "Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Live with what? It's over. I mean, you know, move on.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.84, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "[Bad English accent] If it were me, I'd take her to a Broadway show. / Broadway? We're in Michigan. / [Normal voice] Dinner theater?", "c": ["Neal", "Sam", "Neal"], "jt": ["absurdist", "physical_slapstick"], "cr": 6.36, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Laughter is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Get a woman laughing and you've got a woman loving.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "setup_punchline"], "cr": 6.16, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Judith has very particular tastes. About the only thing she ever wants is scented oils and plenty of time with her man. / ECCH!", "c": ["Harris", "Everyone"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.39, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "After all, this is your first love.", "c": ["Jean"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.5, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Amy's not really a girl. But she's kinda-- I mean, you know, she is-- kinda part guy, too.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.78, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "It means that she was packing both a gun and the holster.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.7, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "You better get rid of her. / I don't want to break up with her. I really like her. / I might even...love her.", "c": ["Nick", "Ken", "Ken"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Well, there's a small little chance that... I might be gay.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.28, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I thought you'd be a good person to talk to about it, since you're gay. / I'm not gay.", "c": ["Ken", "Rosso"], "jt": ["misdirection", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "You just-- you kinda have this way about you, and I've never seen you with a woman.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["observational", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.54, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I don't bring dates to school.", "c": ["Rosso"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.72, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Rosso singing 'If They Could See Me Now' while trying to break into his car", "c": ["Rosso"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "What is your favorite place to eat in the state of Michigan?", "c": ["Lindsay reading"], "jt": ["absurdist", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.96, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "That's code for 'nice try, but this is a glorified photo opportunity.'", "c": ["Rosso"], "jt": ["observational", "meta_self_referential"], "cr": 7.54, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll tell me which steakhouse has the best prime rib.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "16 scars on my head from a tear-gas canister.", "c": ["Rosso"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "escalation"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "And now all my compatriots are gettin' rich working Wall Street, and I can't get my keys out of my mother's car.", "c": ["Rosso"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "escalation"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Republicans aren't selfish. It's just that they don't believe poor people should get handouts. I mean, they should get jobs. Handouts just make them lazy, don't you think?", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "And speaking of handouts, ha ha, uh, I got you something.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "awkward_silence"], "cr": 6.47, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "How much did it cost? / Um, I don't know. It's an heirloom.", "c": ["Cindy", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.47, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "You know, it's metal, so it'd be cold on my neck and everything.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.62, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Mom, busy doing what? Waiting for the president to die so he can take over?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "observational"], "cr": 7.41, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Your only affiliation right now to any party is to the Weir party.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["wordplay_pun", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!", "c": ["Movie dialogue"], "jt": ["callback", "absurdist"], "cr": 5.27, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Do you want some popcorn or something? / Will popcorn make this funny?", "c": ["Sam", "Cindy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.97, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "How old is this guy? He's got gray hair, and he's running around like a 5-year-old.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I'm giving you a hickey, you goof.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.21, "im": 5.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Yeah, if you're attracted to guys that look like Jesus. / Shut up!", "c": ["Daniel", "Kim"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.68, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "YEAH, IF YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO GUYS THAT LOOK LIKE JESUS.", "c": ["Daniel Desario"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.2, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Ken punches Daniel in the face", "c": ["Ken", "Daniel"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "escalation"], "cr": 7.33, "im": 7.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "How come I don't like her? / Sam, just 'cause a girl's pretty doesn't mean you have to like her.", "c": ["Sam", "Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.86, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Well, because they can't believe that... she's going out with me in the first place.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.01, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "You better wear a turtleneck before Mom and Dad see that.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "callback"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I'm glad your stomach hurts. / You know what that is? It's your body telling you you're making a big mistake.", "c": ["Neal", "Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.9, "im": 5.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Years from now you're gonna be sitting in your house, looking at your unattractive kids with your unattractive wife, saying to yourself, 'Man, why did I ever dump that goddess Cindy Sanders?'", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.08, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Have I ever told you about the time that I made out with Vicki Appleby? / Oh, shut up. You're such a liar.", "c": ["Bill", "Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Did you just puke? / No. I'm nervous.", "c": ["Ken", "Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy"], "cr": 6.57, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I'm gonna break up with Cindy Sanders. / Wow. Why, man? She's hot.", "c": ["Sam", "Ken"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.65, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "You serious? / Man, my girlfriend loved The Jerk.", "c": ["Ken", "Ken"], "jt": ["callback", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.18, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Sam, you're wearing a turtleneck. / Are you covering up my hickey?", "c": ["Cindy", "Cindy"], "jt": ["callback", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.26, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "So I guess if you got me a diamond ring and I didn't wear it because I was too embarrassed, you wouldn't get all mad, either?", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["escalation", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.28, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Hey, come on! I got you a necklace, and you've never worn it. / It was ugly!", "c": ["Sam", "Cindy"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "escalation"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "You're supposed to be nice. That's the only reason why I'm going out with you in the first place.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["cringe_discomfort", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.46, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Have your stupid heirloom back.", "c": ["Cindy"], "jt": ["escalation", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Sir, are you now or have you ever been a member of an organization called the Taft Students Alliance for a New America?", "c": ["Secret Service"], "jt": ["escalation", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "I guess I rocked the boat a little bit in my youth.", "c": ["Rosso"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "You ever heard of the vice president getting assassinated? No. You know why? It's never happened. Will it ever happen? No way. Because who cares?", "c": ["Secret Service Agent"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.65, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Sometimes I think I just want to rip off my vest and jacket and just put on a T-shirt and go and, like, make pancakes somewhere or something.", "c": ["Secret Service Agent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.24, "im": 7.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "My question is... Why did your staff reject my question? Are you afraid of an open discourse with the students?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["escalation", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 7.78, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "\"DO YOU LIKE WORKING WITH MAJOR APPLIANCES?\" THAT'D BE A YES.", "c": ["Mr. Rosso", "Secret Service Agent"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.51, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "Do you like working with major appliances? / That'd be a yes.", "c": ["Rosso", "Rosso"], "jt": ["absurdist", "callback"], "cr": 6.76, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 17, "et": "The Little Things"}, {"t": "DISCO SUCKS!", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "I'm only gonna let girls sign it, 'cause that way, when I have kids, they'll think I was a big stud.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.85, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Never a wild and sexy guy.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Where do they find time to play sports?", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "What's so geeky about us, anyways? We're just guys.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 7.58, "im": 8.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Oh, no! I'd never do that.", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm", "character_comedy"], "cr": 5.17, "im": 5.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "These things are gonna kill me. I know I might look cool with a cigarette in my hand, but, remember, it's just a crutch.", "c": ["Mr. Fleck"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.33, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "This is a graph of their lives. [demonstrates with hand gestures]", "c": ["Mr. Fleck"], "jt": ["visual_gag", "observational"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 7.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "That's the pinnacle of their lives.", "c": ["Mr. Fleck"], "jt": ["observational", "dark_subversive"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "And yes, Mr. Jock-who-cleaned-me-out, I will have fries with that.", "c": ["Mr. Fleck"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.74, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "But that's like a long time from now. We have to put up with this for another 3 years.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "observational"], "cr": 7.12, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "A 16-millimeter print of Monty Python and the Holy Grail?", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "visual_gag"], "cr": 6.42, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "I'm so happy, I think I'm gonna cry.", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.35, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "It was hilarious.", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["dark_subversive", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 5.73, "im": 5.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "You don't think you're the Fonz or something? If a jukebox was broken, think you could hit it and it'd start playing?", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.08, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Do you like them apples?", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "wordplay_pun"], "cr": 6.27, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 5.35, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "You're quitting?", "c": ["Lindsay/Ms. Kelly"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.8, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "I'm one lucky girl?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.37, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Are the kids in Michigan schools that stupid?", "c": ["Lindsay"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "When I was in college, back in the early 1700s", "c": ["Mr. Rosso"], "jt": ["observational"], "cr": 6.32, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "I heard that's because you could see a girl's boobs in it.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Wait a minute. He's putting him in A.V. as punishment?", "c": ["Harris"], "jt": ["reaction_beat", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "I bet that Daniel guy is high on drugs, and if we make him angry, he'll freak out and wreck the A.V. room.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.22, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Sam, he gave you a porno. I wouldn't exactly say you have a meaningful relationship with him.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["observational", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.9, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Look what it did for me!", "c": ["Mr. Fleck"], "jt": ["irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 6.87, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "I wish I'd never heard it, just so I could hear it again for the first time.", "c": ["Deadhead Girl"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.03, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "When does Alan Funt come boogieing out?", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.0, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "What's the difference between Zeppelin and disco, really? They both have heavy drums and they have bass.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.77, "im": 7.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "No! I don't know that song, thank God. But I can guarantee it sucks.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.38, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Lindsay, can you please start going out with Nick again? I can't take much more of this.", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.83, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "If I was wearing my vest, all the buttons would pop.", "c": ["Harold"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 6.2, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "[FAKE COUGHS] Geek!", "c": ["Student"], "jt": ["physical_slapstick", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 4.13, "im": 4.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Will somebody please help Mr. DeMille set up the projector?", "c": ["Teacher"], "jt": ["observational", "irony_sarcasm"], "cr": 5.83, "im": 5.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "SUDDENLY EVERYBODY GOES RUNNING DOWN TO THE PIT, AND THEY START DANCING IN THE MUD. AND THEN THE SUN COMES OUT, AND THERE'S THIS RAINBOW RIGHT OVER THE STAGE. I STARTED CRYING.", "c": ["Deadhead girl"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "cringe_discomfort"], "cr": 6.15, "im": 5.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Why don't you go tell it to the fire alarm?", "c": ["Kim"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.02, "im": 6.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "You always fall down a well trying to steal stuff.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["callback", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.63, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "I've had a crush on you since the sixth grade. I always sat behind you, even though you were so tall I couldn't see the board.", "c": ["Nick"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "observational"], "cr": 7.22, "im": 6.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "What, you just send your sword into battle for you, and then you stay home?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["observational", "absurdist"], "cr": 7.15, "im": 7.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "You get to pretend to be somebody you can't be in real life.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.53, "im": 5.83, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "You can't possibly be any worse than Bill.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["setup_punchline", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.67, "im": 6.25, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Even the Stones know it. They're willing to admit it. Why can't you?", "c": ["Disco Guy"], "jt": ["observational", "escalation"], "cr": 6.95, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Carlos the Dwarf?", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["absurdist", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.3, "im": 6.17, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "A DWARF? I DON'T WANNA BE A DWARF. I WANTED TO BE, LIKE, A NINJA OR A FIGHTER.", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "reaction_beat"], "cr": 6.12, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Yeah, you got a problem with that, Gorthon?", "c": ["Daniel"], "jt": ["escalation", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.42, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "AND YOU'RE TOO TALL TO BE A GOOD DANCER!", "c": ["Ken"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "escalation"], "cr": 6.55, "im": 6.5, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "Does him wanting to play with us again mean that he's turning into a geek... or we're turning into cool guys?", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["observational", "character_comedy"], "cr": 7.73, "im": 7.67, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "I'm gonna go for us being cool guys.", "c": ["Sam"], "jt": ["character_comedy", "deadpan_understatement"], "cr": 6.88, "im": 6.75, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "That, and we pin her name and address on her jacket in case she gets lost.", "c": ["Neal"], "jt": ["escalation", "observational"], "cr": 6.58, "im": 6.33, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}, {"t": "It didn't cost me a cent.", "c": ["Bill"], "jt": ["deadpan_understatement", "character_comedy"], "cr": 6.5, "im": 6.0, "sn": "Freaks and Geeks", "ss": "freaks-and-geeks", "s": 1, "e": 18, "et": "Discos and Dragons"}]